Category Archives: Tyler Perry

April 5, 2016 — GH, Loving Wrong & Good-by Dubai

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Sam wonders why anyone would want Rachel Berlin dead, but Jason says maybe they were after Hayden.

Hayden thanks Curtis for walking her back home. He thinks it’s a bad idea for her to return to Windemere unless she has a death wish.

Elizabeth says this isn’t what Nicholas is and if he tries to murder Hayden again he could end up in prison and where will that leave Spencer?

Griff is playing sheriff opposite Emma’s doctor. Ha-ha! He says he has a serious case of hat head. Emma says she’s been a doctor for a long time, but it’s the worst she’s seen. She says she’s a doctor though, not a barber, but then says that was a line from Star Trek. Anna comes in and they tell her they’re playing cowboys and neurosurgeons. Sonny knocks at the door.

Michael meets Dante at the gym. Dante wants to know Sonny’s plans for Carrrlos.

Tracy comes to and Finn is there. He tells her she had another seizure and they’re waiting on test results. Dillon and Ned come in with some food, but Finn wants to see them out in the hall. Finn says it would appear they didn’t catch the infestation in time and Dillon asks if Tracy is dying.

Anna invites Sonny in. Emma says she has another cowboy hat, but Sonny says his wife thinks they don’t look good on him. She tells Griff he has a hat face and he’d also look good in a tutu, and Anna tells a story about Duke playing with her in a tutu. She says Finn is following in Duke’s footsteps and he’d be proud.

Michael acts clueless. Dante says he should have been a lawyer. Dante thinks Sonny knew already and told him. He asks Michael again what Sonny’s plans are.

Hayden says she just wants what’s hers. She says Nicholas owes her a nice life for the one he tried to take from her. Curtis says she got a second chance, so why tempt fate? Hayden is like, so what should I do? Waitress? She says she earned every penny she made when she was in finance. She tells him how Nicholas won’t honor the prenup. Curtis says money is like an addiction.

Sam says Hayden either doesn’t know where her father’s money is or doesn’t have access to it. Sam says she has to tell Nicholas about Hayden’s involvement with Tracy, and maybe he can put two and two together.

Elizabeth wants Nicholas to tell her what he’s going to do. He says he’s going home to Hayden and that’s all she needs to know. She gets a text from the hospital and has to leave.

Finn says Tracy isn’t responding as well as they’d like. Monica comes by and Finn explains that Tracy had a seizure because of water build up on the brain. Obrecht overhears and says they have to operate immediately.

Finn says he needs to look at the CAT scan, but if it shows what he thinks it will, surgery will be recommended. Elizabeth shows up and Monica tells her to get ready just in case. Paul comes by and Ned tells him to butt out and get lost. Dillon thinks Tracy might need more support and wants Paul to stay. Ned says to keep Paul away from him.

Finn sees the CAT scan and says they will have to operate. Dillon wants Griff and not Dr. Mays, but Finn says they should ask Tracy who she wants.

Sam and Jason come to Nicholas’s hotel room. Nicholas says he told Sam her services were no longer required, but she says she has information and asks if he wants to hear it.

Dante tells Michael that if Carrrlos turns up dead, Sonny will be the prime suspect. Michael tells him to ask Sonny about it, not him.

Emma goes upstairs to get her telescope. Anna says Sonny can trust Griff. Sonny says they have a location for Carrrlos. Griff says he guesses forgiveness is off the table and Sonny says justice comes first. Griff has to go back to the hospital.

Sonny tells Anna that Griff is a little judgmental with the kumbaya stuff. Anna says he’ll feel differently once Carrrlos is in custody. Sonny holds up a flash-drive.

Anna looks at the information on the computer and says Carrrlos must be on the run again. Anna asks if Sonny meant what he said about bringing Carrrlos to justice.

Sam tells Nicholas about Tracy saying Rachel was her secret weapon. She says it looks like they were working together to get ELQ. Nicholas says Hayden had been playing him all along. Sam sees that Nicholas is packing and asks if Hayden is gone now.

Hayden says she’s not addicted to money and that money junkies spend it like water and that’s not her. Curtis says why risk her life if not for the money. She says the money is a huge part of it, but it’s not for her. She wants to pay back her father’s investors. Curtis asks her if she’s rehearsing that speech for Nicholas. Hayden asks what’s in it for Curtis.

Finn says they’ve adjusted the medication to prevent another seizure and Tracy should be the one to make the decision about who is going to operate. Monica tells Dillon and Ned not to look frightened when they go into Tracy’s room. Finn says as things turned out, surgery is going to be required. She says she wants Griff to perform the surgery.

Anna and Emma come to the hospital.

Curtis says it’s always good to back a winner. Hayden says she’d hate to see his idea of rock bottom. He says she’s a survivor and he can’t wait to see how it turns out. He asks what she plans on doing when Nicholas gets home.

Nicholas says he’s going home because he loves Hayden and wants to save his marriage. He wants to find out what the reality of the situation is, and he’ll deal with it then. Sam says that’s crazy, but he says it’s his marriage. He thanks Sam for doing her job and asks her and Jason to leave.

Sonny, who apparently is completely fine now, comes into the gym and spars with Dante. He asks why Dante called him. Dante says he was wondering what Sonny’s plans are about Carrrlos.

Michael, with a really bad hairdo, shows up at the hospital and Ned explains Tracy needs surgery. Griff comes in and Obrecht tells him that Tracy wants him to perform the surgery.

Paul sees Anna and Emma. Anna tells Emma to go visiting. Paul says Emma seems to have adjusted well to her new life. Anna tells him she’s supposed to call Robin with an update, but she gave Robin her phone. Paul offers his.

Dante says he talked to Michael. Sonny says it’s not fair to talk to Michael about him, since he doesn’t involve the kids in the business. Dante tells Sonny if he finds Carrrlos, not to kill him.

Anna says she won’t be long. She pretends to have a bad connection so she can move away from him. When she gets out of sight, she takes a card out of the phone.

Sam tells Jason she should be glad Nicholas wants to wreck his own life, but Spencer deserves better. She thinks it’s crazy that he wants to stay married to Hayden. Jason says maybe Hayden has something on him.

Finn tells Griff that his record is very impressive, but he’ll be by his side for the operation. Monica asks Tracy how she’s doing. Tracy says Monica might think she’s going to live in the mansion by herself, but she’s sticking around until Alice has to carry them both upstairs.

Obrecht is concerned about Griff performing surgery on a major hospital donor. She says she has every confidence in him and Finn, but if it doesn’t go well, may God have mercy on their souls.

Elizabeth is going to be assisting. Because she knows Tracy, Griff asks if she’s going to be okay with it. Elizabeth says if it helps any, she and Tracy aren’t that close. Griff says he thinks people find their strength when things are at their worst.

Tracy is wheeled down the hall. Ned and Dillon are there, and Tracy says she wants eggs Benedict for breakfast. Ned suggests Cook sending over scrambled eggs and caviar. She says she’ll have both. Tracy tells Monica to keep her hands off her jewelry, but Monica says she’s not into costume pieces. Tracy says they haven’t seen the last of her and is wheeled into surgery.

Dante says he knows how Sonny works and that he wants to send a message. Dante suggests he not kill Carrrlos, but turn him over to the authorities. Dante hopes Sonny finds him first because if he shows up dead, Sonny will be blamed.

Nicholas goes home. Hayden says it’s the beginning of a beautiful friendship, without secrets and illusion. He says remind him to get her a dictionary, so she can look up the meaning of friendship. She says they’re two people who love a challenge and they have a connection. He says not anymore and she amends it to attraction. Nicholas wonders what her plan is. She says she hopes he kept the receipt for her shooting since she’s still there. She says she had Alfred set another place for dinner. Curtis is going to be staying with them for a while. Nice move!

Sam says the only secret she can think of is Jason’s identity, which is obviously out. They talk about Hayden getting shot. They come to the conclusion that Hayden figured out that Nicholas was behind it.

Tomorrow, Jason says Nicholas is capable of anything, Alexis visits Parker, and Carly begs Sonny not to put himself in the line of fire.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Lushion introduces Claudia to Natalie. There’s an awkward moment and Claudia excuses herself. Natalie asks why Claudia was all up in Lushion’s face. He says he was just giving her some work tips. Natalie deletes Claudia’s number from Lushion’s phone, even though he says he was just about to do that.

Lushion asks Natalie if she’s satisfied and she says maybe. He asks what she’s doing there and she tells him she brought him a meal. He says last he remembers is her cursing him out and telling him to get lost. She says she cares about him and asks if he’s doing anything illegal. He says no and she asks where he got the money from. He says he saved it. Natalie doesn’t understand how he saved so much on his salary. Lushion says he earned the money, that’s all she needs to know and he’s not fighting about it. She says okay, but asks him to promise that no one will hurt her kids if he gets into trouble. He says as long as he’s breathing, no one will hurt her or the kids.

She asks about Eddie and Lushion says he shot him eight times. Natalie almost freaks, but Lushion says Eddie was wearing a vest. Natalie says he could have killed Eddie. Lushion says if Eddie had hurt her, he would have. She calls him an OG, but he says he just doesn’t like the people he loves messed with. Natalie gives him a new key to her place and they get flirty. I like Lushion. I’m glad Natalie got a clue. He’s like that mighty good man of song fame.

Alex is still at Kelly’s with the baby, who I hope they give a name to soon. Kelly tells Alex she doesn’t deserve to be treated that way and Alex says she does. Kelly says everyone messes up, and it’s time for her to move on. Alex says it’s difficult when you’ve caused so much pain. Kelly says it’s been months. She says Alex has lost herself and wonders when that happened.

Kelly says when she first met Alex, she was a happy, strong and filled with life, and she has to get herself back. Alex asks how. Kelly says don’t ask how, do something. Alex asks what. Kelly doesn’t know, but says Alex can’t just live life reactive and she needs to make another choice.

Jerkface Eddie asks Claudia how it’s going. He tells her if she ever needs anything, he’s right there. She says she does need something and asks how Pete is. Eddie says probably dead by now and apologizes for being abrupt. He asks if she knew Pete and she says not really. He tries to flirt, but Claudia isn’t having any. She says she knows he’s with Esperanza, but he says that was over a long time ago. He says they should go out sometime, but Claudia says Esperanza already hates her. He tries flirting again, but crosses the line and she says he’s bordering sexual harassment. Eddie says he has a lot of pull around the station and she should be nicer. He tries to give her his number and she won’t take it.

Esperanza comes in and tells Claudia she needs to clock out. She wants Eddie to leave her office, but he won’t. She tries to grill Claudia on some procedures, but Claudia is flummoxed. Esperanza asks Eddie to leave again and he does. Claudia stumbles over telling her about talking to Eddie. Esperanza says she doesn’t care, but she’s concerned about Claudia’s lack of knowledge considering her resume. She says maybe this isn’t the job for her, but Claudia says she needs it. Esperanza says she’d better start showing some promise then.

Steven tells the guys that it looks like Pete is going to make it. He says the captain wants an officer with him at all times and an officer volunteers. He says he worked at the hospital and knows Pete. Steven makes some crap up as to why he shouldn’t do it. Ben volunteers. Lushion does too, but Steven says they need him on the streets. Ben is given the 8 to 8 shift.

Lushion is left alone with the guy who first volunteered. The officer thinks something weird is going on and Ben shouldn’t be guarding Pete. He tells Lushion he can’t say anymore. He says you can’t trust anyone there, especially Eddie, and that’s all he’s going to say. Lushion says he can see he’s scared and the officer says Lushion should be too. He talks about all the rookies who have been killed and tells Lushion to watch his back. He says if someone doesn’t look out for Pete, he’ll be dead by morning because he knew something that pissed someone off.

Alex and Kelly’s kids get off the school bus and Kelly directs them to her place. Paisley says the baby is beautiful and asks how he got a tan. Kelly’s son, Justice, tries to interject, but she stops him and they leave the room. Alex says she did something really bad to their dad. Paisley says Peter told her already. Peter says he heard them fighting and that he knows Alex and Randal had an affair. Paisley asks if Alex kissed Randal and when Alex says yes, she asks why. Alex says it was wrong and she shouldn’t have done it. She tells the kids that she and Brad are getting a divorce. Peter gets upset and goes to do his homework with Justice. Paisley tells Alex she loves her. Paisley says it will be okay and Alex agrees.

Insane Randal comes home. Louise is making dinner and asks where he went. He says he had important business to take care of. Louise asks again where he was and he says he went to see his lawyers. She asks what they told him about the divorce. He says he went to a family attorney, not a divorce attorney. Louise asks what he’s up to. He says he wanted to know his legal rights to his child. He says it’s his only child and Alex won’t let him see the baby. Louise says he shouldn’t see the baby now because everything is already out of control. She says he did all of this on purpose. He’s a psychologist who was a straight A student, and he manipulated Alex and Marcie. She says there’s malicious intent in what he did and it was no accident that Alex got pregnant just so he could have a son. She says she never thought Randal could sink lower than his father. He brings up Marcie and Brad, but Louise won’t have it. He says okay, he started it, but he’s going to finish it too. The judge granted an emergency hearing and he’s getting his child. Louise leaves the room disgusted.

Marcie is unpacking at the new apartment when Brad arrives. It’s a pretty nice place. They talk about how small it is. Marcie asks if he’d like some wine, but he wants something stronger. She points him toward the liquor. They both agree they’ve had long days. Marcie doesn’t have a drink, probably because she’s still drunk from that bender she was on for weeks.

She says they’ll have to share a bathroom, but Brad says he’s not a slob. Brad wonders what will happen when Alex and Randal find out they’re roommates. Marcie says she doesn’t care and Brad says neither does he. Marcie says she’s not a great cook and Brad says he knows, he’s had her cooking, and offers her some lessons.

Brad asks how long they’re doing this. Marcie says as long as it takes to heal, breathe and move on. Marcie says she’s going to bed. Brad says it’s not even five, but she says she could sleep for fifteen hours. Brad asks if he can hold her because he needs to be held. They hug. Marcie says she wishes she could say yes, but she has to say no. Brad says he understands and she says they can’t do this again. She says she’s sorry she put him in this situation and that she came over to his yard with every intention of sleeping with him. She says she was never so vulnerable, depleted and drunk, and it can’t happen again. Brad says he gets it and understands.

Marcie says she’s sorry and Brad says him too. She asks why. He says sex with her was better than it ever was with Alex and she made him feel desired, alive and wanted. He says he’s going to bury himself in work, and Marcie says good. He realizes he left his computer back at the house, but Marcie doesn’t want him to drive after drinking. She says she’ll take him and she’ll wait in the car.

Louise is leaving. I don’t want Louise to leave. She’s one of my favorite characters and the voice of reason. Randal asks if there’s too much drama, but Louise says it’s him that’s too much. She gives him a hug, trying not to cry. She says it’s probably the last time she’s going to see him, that she can feel it, adding that it’s all too much. Randal says he’s fine. They see Marcie drive up with Brad.

Randal starts walking over to the car, and Louise tells him no and tries to stop him. Randal tries to hassle Marcier. He gets in her face and Louise drags him out of the car and pushes him back toward the house while he laughs like a lunatic.

A process server comes up to Brad and hands him the court order, saying he’s been served. Marcie tells him not to open it. I can’t figure out why Brad would be involved in this, since it’s Alex and Randal’s child. Randal does some more crazy laughing.

Next week, Eddie says dead men tell no tales, Brad tries to see Alex, Randal hassles Kelly, and Alex tells Randal he was the worst mistake of her life and she’ll show him how far a mother will go to protect her child. Alrighty then!

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Dubai, part two. The ladies get in a white Rolls to go shopping. LisaV wonders if LisaR is her friend and Kyle says at least she didn’t get slapped this time. Eileen, LisaR and Erika are in one car, with LisaV, Kyle and Kathryn in the other.

The go to the largest mall I’ve ever seen and get into chauffeured golf carts to go around to the stores. Kyle says she’s overwhelmed and wishes she was an octopus with eight credit cards. Erika says you can find things in Dubai that you can’t find in the states. I’ll have to take her word for it.

LisaV thinks Eileen and LisaR are ignoring her. Kyle is already freaking about their next adventure, going up in the world’s tallest building. Yep, it’s big. Olga, their guest ambassador, is escorting them to the 148th floor, three at a time. The elevator is very small.

Olga takes them to the observation deck. Yep, that’s high up. I went to the top of the World Trade Center years ago, and that was pretty high, but this thing is up in the clouds. Eileen says she feels like if she moves forward, she’ll plunge off. That’s a symptom of vertigo, Eileen. Kyle coaches LisaV as to how to apologize to Eileen, and she does. Eileen is good with it and they hug.

Yolanda gets together with Brandi and Kim for a picnic. Eww! I thought she was smarter than this. She says what you see with them is what you get. I agree with that, but I don’t like what I see. Brandi says blah, blah, blah about being promiscuous. Brandi is wearing a shirt that says “it’s not fun to be sober,” which is really nice considering Kim is an alcoholic. She gives Kim a shirt that says “medicated.” No comment.

Erika’s gay glam squad is doing Kathryn’s makeup. It’s her birthday. Kathryn says that if she could ask for one gift, it would be that everyone get along for the night. Amen, sista.

Yolanda says people aren’t about fixing things anymore and will toss you aside like an old shoe when you’re sick. Kim says it’s all about today and you shouldn’t look back. Yolanda says it’s been a rough year for all of them. Yolanda spills something on her bag and Brandi says lucky she’s rich, which is actually funny.

The ladies go out on a yacht for Kathryn’s birthday. LisaR says she’s never been on a yacht. Really? Even I’ve been on a yacht. It’s a beautiful night and they’re going to cruise the coastline. It’s absolutely gorgeous.

Eileen asks LisaR how she’s feeling. The ladies are in the same groups that they were in the cars. LisaV basically says she told Eileen what she wanted to hear. Eileen says Yolanda and LisaV have issues and she’s using LisaR to get to Yolanda. I dunno about that. LisaR thinks they hate each other and they’re pawns in the game. That’s definitely getting overly-dramatic.

Erika is like, is this a party or an oil painting? Kathryn gets a call from her mom, who she’s very close to. She tells her she’s the best mom in the world. Her mom has been struggling with memory loss, so the call is even more special. Everyone gets emotional. LisaR says her mother doesn’t call anymore due to a stroke years ago. LisaR and Eileen leave the table to discuss. Eileen says most of the time her mom doesn’t know her anymore. Sad emoji.

Kyle tells LisaV that nobody feels good when something happens like the altercation the night before. Eileen says she has sympathy for Lisa because she feels the need to control things. The ladies all get back together and there’s some swearing, which is illegal, but Erika says they’re on a boat for Pete’s sake.

They have dinner on the deck. Kyle says things are awkward and they can’t not talk, and they shouldn’t be dividing up into corners. LisaV says she doesn’t understand some of the things LisaR does, and it’s probably vice versa. LisaR says she thinks the problem is that LisaV is angry with Yolanda, going back to when Yolanda got nasty with Ken. LisaV says she felt protective the same way LisaR did with Harry in Amsterdam. In Kyle’s interview, she says that there are definitely issues between LisaV and Yolanda. LisaV says LisaR would feel the same way.

Eileen says LisaR’s feeling is that she was being set up with the Munchausens thing. LisaR says LisaV wanted her and Kyle to take the fall. I can’t believe they’re still belaboring this point. LisaV says she wouldn’t do that to Kyle. LisaR says that’s her reality and she’s sticking to it. She and Eileen keep trying to drag Kyle into it, while Kyle wants the floor to swallow her up. They go back and forth a million times. Kathryn thinks the whole thing is embarrassing. In her individual interview, Erika says it’s a leveraged relationship between Kyle and LisaV, not a friendship.

It just keeps going around and around. Eileen is annoyed because she thinks Kyle is pleasing LisaV to keep their friendship alive. Eileen leaves the table. Kyle tells LisaR she cares about LisaV and that’s the way it is. LisaR says that’s it then. Everyone leaves, and Kyle and LisaV are at the table alone.

Kyle says she loves LisaV who’s like a sister to her, but she’s been put in a bad position. She says she looks like an idiot. Eileen moves toward the table and Kathryn tells her to stay out of it. Kyle says she was covering LisaV’s ass. In her individual interview, LisaV says Kyle straddles the fence sometimes. Kyle asks her to just say that maybe she said something wrong, but LisaV isn’t okay with that.

Kyle says she’s copped to things she’s said about LisaV and she won’t tell a lie. Lisa says she’s not asking her to lie and Kyle says no, she’s asking Lisa not to. She tells Lisa she’s not telling the truth.

Kathryn says this is like two shades of batsh*t crazy. Ever over-the-top, LisaR says they’re all collateral damage in the game between LisaV and Yolanda. Please. This bunch should just drop it and move on.

Kyle ends up saying she doesn’t care and just wants to drop it. She tells LisaV not to say anymore. In her individual interview, Kyle says she’s disappointed and that Lisa always has to have the last word. That might be true, since every time Kyle says let’s drop it, Lisa continues to say she never said that.

Kyle goes to get the cake. Eileen says it’s a weird time to be bringing it out and Kyle says she doesn’t care. Kyle brings out the cake. Kathryn wishes for health and happiness, and asks everyone to be civil to one another. LisaV gives Kathryn a beautiful wallet.

The ladies meet for breakfast. LisaV and Kyle are getting ready together and gossiping. At the table, Kyle asks what everyone’s favorite part of the trip was. The view is popular and also the desert. Eileen says everything was bigger than life, including the drama. Erika thanks Kyle for her first girls trip. They toast.

Next week, the finale, Faye Resnick returns, LisaR calls out Yolanda for being manipulative, Kim and LisaR tangle, and Yolanda is getting divorced from that rotten cretin of a husband she is too good for.

March 22, 2016 — GH, Dubai via Beverly Hills & Drama via Tyler Perry

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Hayden is looking at the portrait of Helena when Nicholas comes in. She says there’s something about the portrait and he says the something is that it’s creepy.

Alexis has Jason and Sam sign the divorce papers.

Nina runs into Obrecht. Nina is quite exuberant, and Obrecht asks why she has blackbirds singing on her shoulder. Nina says she must mean bluebirds, but Obrecht says not in Germany, because bluebirds have weak songs and harsh calls. I laugh because Obrecht is the best. Nina has an appointment with Dr. Lee so she can get pregnant.

Tracy says the inmates are running the asylum and she’s leaving.

Silas who isn’t Silas arrives with his iguana. Elizabeth is startled to see him, but he introduces him as Dr. Hamilton Finn. He asks her to put his pet Roxie in a room that’s no less than 85 degrees, gives her crickets for feeding, and off he goes.

Griffin asks Monica how Tracy is doing. She says she called in a specialist, and there he is. Monica says she never noticed the striking resemblance between Dr. Finn and Silas. Really? Really?! She introduces him to Griffin and he tells Griffin to call him “Finn.” Finn asks to see Tracy, who is packing to leave.

Obrecht says that she thought Nina couldn’t have children and Nina says Britt might have been wrong. Obrecht tells her that Britt was an excellent doctor and Nina bring up Britt’s passing off Lulu’s baby as her own. Obrecht says it was only for three months and Nina says still, she’d like to double-check.

Franco calls Nina. He’s picking up take-out for Kiki, and he asks if Nina would like to have a picnic in her office afterward.

Sam and Jason make a coffee toast to Alexis’s success with Olivia’s case. Franco comes by and asks how Jake is and asks Jason what they’re going to do about the book.

Nicholas says the only reason he’s keeping the portrait is because Spencer loved his grandmother. Hayden says you can see into her soul, but Nicholas says she didn’t have one. He says he should be grateful all she left him was a meaningless painting. Hayden says maybe it’s not so meaningless.

Hayden says she sees a reflection in the teapot that she wants to take a closer look at. Nicholas gets a little weird and wants to move the painting elsewhere.

Jason asks what book and Franco tells him about the book Helena left to Elizabeth. Apparently, Jason knows nothing about it. Franco says not to worry; he’ll see Jake through it.

Nina explains her history to Dr. Lee and how Britt told her it would be nearly impossible to conceive a child. Dr. Lee says she agrees with the results, but Nina says she has reason to believe Britt might have made a mistake and wants a second opinion.

Tracy says Monica wins and she’ll listen to Finn. Finn starts to talk and Obrecht comes in. She says that half the staff thought they were seeing the ghost of Silas and Finn has no business being there. Monica says she called him in to treat Tracy, but Obrecht says she doesn’t run the hospital. She adds she’ll procure the necessary paperwork — maybe.

Jason is miffed that Elizabeth didn’t tell him about the book. Sam says she probably didn’t think of it in all the mess that Helena’s will created. Sam gets a call from Spinelli.

Hayden keeps looking at the portrait, but Nicholas tries to take her attention away from it. She asks if she should be concerned about how bothered he is over it. She asks if he wound’t feel better if he knew what Helena was trying to tell him. He says who knows what insanity she had planned and Hayden says that’s it. What’s it?

Finn says most American doctors don’t know how to look for the infestation. He says it’s a larvae infestation — worms. Ewww! Tracy laughs at first and then asks how they got there. Finn says unsanitary conditions and asks if she ate anything from a suspicious source. She says she should have known running into Ashton was a bad omen and asks how they treat it.

Franco brings the take-out for Kiki to the hospital and Obrecht asks if they should allow chaos to reign. Apparently take-out is not allowed. She says obviously he’s overcome his doubts about becoming a father because Nina was there for an appointment with Dr. Lee. Franco asks Obrecht to hold the take-out bag and goes to the elevator.

Nina tells Dr. Lee about losing her baby when she was in a coma. Dr. Lee says she can’t promise to give Nina the news she wants to hear, but they’ll do an exam. Franco walks in and asks Nina what the hell she’s doing.

Jason approaches Elizabeth about the book. He asks to see it.

Sam doesn’t recognize the person connected with the number she had Spinelli look up. Sam asks Alexis if a client has stopped using her services, if it’s all right for her to continue on her own. Alexis says that’s up to her. Alexis says she knows what it’s like to not be able to let something go. She says she’s still wondering about the dagger. She says sometimes you know you should throw something far away, but you can’t until you get the answers.

Hayden sees the reflection of a man in the teapot. She wonders what Helena wants Nicholas to know. Nicholas says Helena would disappear when he was a kid, but he couldn’t relax because he knew she’d be back. He says this is one last mind game and he refuses to play. He says Hayden should too, and he leaves for the office.

Jason looks at the book and says it’s definitely disturbing and should be kept from Jake. Elizabeth says it’s their only clue to what happened on the island. Jason tells her not to fall into Helena’s trap. Elizabeth says if Jake does well in therapy, they should consult the therapist and see if and when Jake should see it. Jason asks if the therapist is Franco.

Dr. Lee tells Franco to get out, but he asks for a minute with Nina. Nina says it’s okay. The doctor leaves and Franco tells Nina he doesn’t want a child. She asks what changed.

Finn says they have medication and if it doesn’t work, they have other options, but they should start Tracy on it right away. He says if it wasn’t for Griffin, her condition might have gone undiagnosed. Dillon asks if he can unpack her bags. She says yes, but get her food because Obrecht feeds her prisoners slop. Obrecht comes in and says until Finn gets privileges at the hospital, he can’t treat any patients, even Tracy. I get that we’re being set up for some kind of friction here, but um…Tracy could just leave if she wanted to and he could treat her elsewhere.

Elizabeth says she was talking about Jake’s doctor. Jason says he doesn’t like Franco working with Jake and it bothers him that he’s the one who told him about the book. Elizabeth says Franco found the book, but he’s right, she should have told him. She just wanted to pretend it didn’t exist for a while. Jason says it’s dangerous, and Elizabeth says that’s why they have to find out what it means. She says they need all the help they can get and Jake opens up to Franco.

Franco tells Nina that he literally lost a child and tells her about Leo. Nina says no harm, no foul. Franco says he doesn’t think he could handle being a parent. He wants to give her everything she wants, but he’d be a nervous wreck all the time with a child. He asks why the two of them can’t be enough for one another.

Nicholas sees Alexis and she asks if he’s recovered from the will reading. She asks what happened after she left and what Helena left for him.

Hayden studies the painting. The doorbell rings. It’s Sam. Hayden tells her Nicholas is out on business. Sam says she might be interested too, in a woman named Naomi Dreyfuss.

Elizabeth says it’s about Jake, not her or Jason. He likes Franco and she cares about doing what’s best for Jake. She says they’ll work on it togethere. Jason reluctantly agrees for Jake to continue art therapy with Franco.

Franco says he loves Nina and has a life he never thought possible. He says because of her, he’s a better person. He says the magazine is a runaway success and they’re flourishing. For the first time in his life, he can say that he’s happy. Nina says she is too. He says why trade it in for constant worry and potential heartache? She says okay, they’ll leave it as is. Franco says the’ll celebrate the Crimson triumph later. He leaves, but Nina looks pretty sad. The doctor comes back in and Nina tells her to go ahead with the examination.

Obrecht says she’s chief of staff and hers is the only opinion that matters. Tracy says without the Quartermaines there would be no hospital. Obrecht says it will take a week to go through what they need to do to give Finn privileges there. Monica says she should know rules at GH are made to be broken or bypassed. Obrecht says they’re leaving themselves open for a lawsuit. Tracy says she wants Dr. Finn and they all realize he’s gone.

Finn checks into the hotel with Roxie. He says they’re going to be happy there.

Nicholas tells Alexis about the portrait. She says burn it. He says it’s evidence of Helena’s narcissism. Alexis says there’s always more to the story when it comes to Helena.

Hayden says she doens’t know who Sam is talking about. Sam says she knows the name well, and does she want to talk about it. Hayden says she doesn’t and get the hell out. After Sam leaves, she studies the painting again.

Tomorrow, Kristina asks Sonny what he did, Laura looks for answers, and Tracy tells Obrecht to find Dr. Finn stat.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Yolanda is getting ready for her speech. She says she hasn’t done any Botox in several years and it’s interesting to see how your face changes. Yeah, it’s called getting older.

The event is pretty crowded. Kathryn says a gala in NYC is a big deal. Kyle is shocked that the event is so huge. David pretends to be a supportive husband to Yolanda on the red carpet. I sneeze and it sounds like “D-bag!”

Tommy Hilfiger’s daughter, who is a Lyme disease survivor, starts the speeches. Kyle feels badly about the whole Munchausen’s conversation when one of the speakers talks about people not believing she was sick because she doesn’t look sick. Gigi, who seems like a lovely young woman, introduces Yolanda.Yolanda says she doesn’t know if it’s heartbreaking or heartwarming. Probably a combination of both.

As Yolanda speaks, we flash back to various times she was sick and also conversations about it. Yolanda says they’re going to search the globe until an affordable cure is found. Erika says this closes the chapter on misunderstandings and it’s a shame LisaR couldn’t be there. Kyle is all upset and says she can’t deal. Kathryn says ignorance isn’t an excuse. Maybe so, but it’s a reason, so shut up and educate people instead of blowing them off.

Kyle talks to Yolanda about Bella and Anwar having the disease. Yolanda says Kyle gets it on a deeper level now. Okay, okay, we get it. Everyone has the feels.

LisaV had to go to London to renew her passport, and is hoping to relax a little before the trip to Dubai. Her son Max has been working hard, and she gives him a new car. Would she like to adopt an older child? Lisa says she tells her kids she loves them every day, but her parents weren’t like that. She chalks it up to being British. Giggy!

LisaR is packing for Dubai. Harry thinks she should just bring a pair of jeans, but she says she needs at least 10 outfits. Lisa says the rules are no cursing, no dressing inappropriately, and no using your middle finger. She’s worried about leaving the kids with Harry. Harry says women think guys are always irresponsible. Well…yeah.

Eileen is excited and terrified to go to Dubai. Eileen tells Vince about how you have to cover up. The girls all talk about who they’d want for cell-mates if they got arrested. Erika says maybe LisaV could spin a web they could capture the guards with. Ha-ha!

Erika says she needs to be both glamorous and appropriate. Her gay slam squad helps her pack. My Lord, I thought I packed a lot of unnecessary things when I go on a trip. Erika actually has a look-book to help figure out her outfits.

The trip is 14 hours from Atlanta. Kyle says she wants to go, she just doesn’t want to get there and I understand completely. Love traveling, hate the process. Everyone meets at LAX. They switch planes in Atlanta.

After the fastest 14 hour flight ever, we’re in Dubai. LisaV says she feels like she’s been around the world and back already. They divvy up the rooms in the limo. Erika is going to room with Kathryn and says she’s put their past squabbles behind them.

Yolanda’s house has sold. She’s nostalgic over times with the family there, but excited to be moving on. David starts to border on being an a-hole.

Atlantis, The Palm Dubai is the hotel. Eileen says it’s like an Arabian Las Vegas experience. It’s huge and glittery with a humongous blown glass sculpture in the lobby. Holy! Lisa and Kyle’s suite is nearly 10,000 square feet.

Brandy comes to visit Yolanda. Yolanda says she’s been consistent with her support and that she’s not fake. No, Yolanda, it’s called having no filter. Brandy talks about her date the previous night and says the guy had short arms. Please. She asks how Yolanda and David are doing? Yolanda is vague.

Yolanda talks to Brandy about LisaR’s offense at her going out to lunch with Brandy and Kim, and missing Erika’s party. Brandy makes snarky comments about LisaR, which Yolanda snickers at. Kind of hypocritical. Yolanda tells her that LisaR said she has Munchhausen’s syndrome. She did not. WTF? Yolanda has been hanging out with Brandy too long and is now making it up as she goes along.

I could totally move into Kyle and LisaV’s suite. The other rooms are nothing to sneeze at either. If I went there, I might never leave my room. Although I’m sure a night there costs about as much as my husband’s yearly salary. Just look away while I drool.

LisaV has her hair piled on top of her head and even though she’s wearing a caftan, she out Hepburns Audrey Hepburn.

Everyone is wearing clothing befitting the country except for Kathryn, who stands out like a sore thumb in a short leopard print dress. Kyle gives caftans to everyone, and Kathryn wisely changes into hers, looking a million times better. They sit down to a private dinner.

LisaV asks about New York. Kyle talks about Yolanda’s speech and how two of Yolanda’s kids have Lyme disease. Erika says it’s too bad LisaR couldn’t be there. It might have answered some questions for her. Lisa says she never doubted Yolanda was sick, but she’s used it as a shield. Erika says she thinks she’s doing all she can and why would she want to miss the Dubai trip? She doesn’t think Lisa is being fair. Lisa says it’s just her opinion, but Erika says she believes Yolanda is operating at the best level she can.

Eileen says that she doesn’t get what Lisa isn’t understanding. Lisa says she feels like she’s being held to a different standard by Yolanda. She also doesn’t get Yolanda’s friendship with Brandy, and how she seems to give Brandy allowances the rest of them aren’t given. I do get what she’s saying, basically that Yolanda is surrounding herself with yes men and using her illness to her advantage, but it is her business and what I don’t get is why it’s such a big deal. I’m not so sure I wouldn’t do the same thing in her shoes, although I certainly wouldn’t be friends with Brandy. Bleh.

LisaR says the picture of Yolanda out to lunch with Brandy and Kim enraged her, which is really the wrong word to use. She says she thinks that Yolanda should have saved her energy for Erika’s dinner. She says she wants to go to bed after having lunch with Brandy and Kim. Frankly, I would too. I think they would wear out Mother Teresa and she has the patience of a saint. BA DUM CHHH! Lisa asks how Erika felt about the dinner and we have to revisit that nonsense. I’m with Erika in that they should just have fun and not rehash old crap.

Kyle suggests looking at the view which is absolutely breathtaking.

Next time, the ladies go to the beach, on a safari, and smoke hookahs; a sea lion kisses LisaV; there’s a lot of arguing; and LisaV says she’s had enough.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Randal wants to go visit Alex and Louise tells him he’s not going over there. He says he’s not a child and she says quit acting like one. She asks if he used Marcie’s credit card and why would he do that. He says why would Marcie have sex with Brad, because those two things are exactly the same. Louise says he’s just like his father. Randal asks when she started taking Marcie’s side and Louise says when she realized Marcie was right.

He asks if Louise supports Marcie sleeping with Brad, and Louise is like, no, stupid, she was right to stand by your side while you were out acting the fool. Louis says Marcie stood by Randal the way she stood by Randal’s father.

She says she was at work in her flower store and a woman in a suit came in. She told Louise she was from child services and her earnings were going to be garnished to pay for her husband’s child. (Can they do that?) When she looked at the papers, she saw her friend’s name, who had told her the child was her ex’s. She tells Randal you reap what you sow.

Randal says he didn’t fall in love with Alex on purpose. Louise says that doesn’t make it right. He says it makes him human and she says no more human than Marcie. He says she did it on purpose to hurt him. Louise asks if it did and when he says yes, Louise says she succeeded and they’re even then. Randal says he’ll have the last word. Louise says he is just like his father. Randal says he’s nothing like his father, and Louise says this version is really close. She says he left her to raise Randal and his brother alone and ran off with her friend until he got cancer.

Randal says but then she took care of him. Louise says Randal and his brother hated her for it, but what was she supposed to do, let him die? Maybe Marcie should leave him die if the same thing happens to him. He says he loves Alex and says Louise is full on Marcie’s side now. Louise says yes, she is. Randal says Louise couldn’t stand her and Louise says she’s woman enough to admit when she’s wrong. She says Randal could never admit when he was wrong. She tells him to just admit it. He says he’s not wrong and I want to smack him. Louise says fine, but he’s still not going over there.

Esperanza gives Claudia an herbal drink to calm her nerves. Claudia asks if Pete is gong to be all right. Esperanza says she doesn’t know. Claudia asks how she deals with it and Esperanza says she tries not to fill herself with anxiety and just process the information as it comes. She suggests Claudia take the day off, but Claudia says she needs the money.

Claudia says when Pete saw Eddie talking to the captain, he freaked out. She says they also don’t put rookies on the south side. Esperanza says she should stop asking questions.

Faun tells her father that he should hire Natalie back, since the restaurant is out of control. She adds that Joey is a good guy. She says she plans on seeing him again. Her father says he’s telling her mother. She says her mother knows and she heard some stories about them when they were dating. Her father starts to walk away and Faun tells him Natalie has the right to sue him because he fired her for something that her son did. She tells him to let Natalie have her job back and this can be water under the bridge. He says okay, and tries to get her to stop seeing Joey, but that’s not going to happen.

Joey is waiting for her in the car. She tells him Natalie has her job back. Quan and his lackey are in a car watching them. Quan wants his dude to follow Faun and see what she does with the receipts from the restaurant.

Kelly drops by the station to see Lushion. Esperanza tells her he’s out on a call. Kelly says it’s really deserted and Esperanza tells her that’s how it is when a cop gets shot. Kelly says she wanted to find out what’s going on between Lushion and Natalie and tells her about the house situation. Esperanza says she’ll tell Lushion that Kelly stopped by.

Brad hunts throughout the neighborhood for Alex. He goes back to the house. Rusty goes outside for a smoke. Alex is behind one of the houses with the baby. Who seems like he’s light as a feather and it’s obvious she’s holding an empty blanket. Do these people learn nothing in acting class.?

At the scene of the shooting, Lushion asks Steven why Pete wasn’t wearing a vest. He says 16 rookies have died in five years. Stephen asks why he’s researching it. Lushion says it’s right there on the apartment wall. Stephen says let’s hope they don’t add to the wall. Lushion tries to get information out of him, and Stephen says he just does what he’s told. He adds that Lushion is’t his boss.

Ben makes up something for his statement. Stephen says they’ll finish it at the station. Ben babbles something at Lushion. Lushion grills him, but Lushion notices that what he’s saying isn’t consistent with him not having any injuries. Eddie, who acts like he’s the boss, tells Lushion to get in the car. Eddie tells Ben that if Pete sings, it will be his funeral.

Faun wants to talk to Natalie, but Joey thinks it’s a bad idea. Natalie asks him what he wants and Faun asks to talk to her. Natalie says she has nothing to say to Faun. Faun tells Joey to say he’s sorry and Joey tells Natalie he’s sorry for the second time. Natalie says she doesn’t believe Joey and he’s not moving back in with her. Faun tells Natalie she has her job back. She says she and Joey are just friends now and asks when Natalie is coming back to work. Natalie says she’ll be there the day after tomorrow because she’s not going to just come running when he calls. Faun leaves. Joey tells Natalie he has nowhere else to go. Natalie relents.

Randal goes to the hospital to visit Julius’s father, who says his son has lost his mind. He’s angry and he needs Randal’s help to get to the bottom of the angry. He says he wasn’t much of a father and he needs Randal to see him through. Randal says if he’ll listen and Julius’s father says he’ll talk to him. he says he’s going to make changes to his will and his son is going to be angry. He says if Randal helps his son, he’ll — but then he starts coughing and has to put the oxygen mask back on.

Julius sees Esperanza at the station. She tells him to leave her and her family at home. He says he has to tell her something and that he’s sorry. She says there’s nothing to say. He says she got him shot, so the least she can do is listen. She asks if he had Eddie shot, but Julius says it’s called karma. She tells him to stop coming there. Julius says he misses her, but Esperanza says she’s done with him and the likes of him. He tells her she’s sleeping with a dirty cop and that he’s stealing from Julius’s guys. He says Eddie is bringing women to her house. Esperanza tells him to leave. Julius says his father is in stage four and when he’s gone, oh man.

Louise asks Marcie if everything is okay. Marcie says she’s just packing to go. She tells Louise about Alex’s father being there and says she won’t have to kill her because Rusty will, and tells her about Rusty’s racism.

Louise comes downstairs and says Randal isn’t hearing her. Marcie is right behind her and says he can’t. She says he’s blinded by anger. She knows because she was too, up until now. She only talks to Louise, not to Randal, and says Louise is wasting her breath. Randal tries to be insulting. Louise says Randal just wants a fight, but Marcie says she has none left. Randal tries to get a rise out of Marcie. She says he’s like most men, he can dish it out, but he can’t take it. She says he can’t stand the thought of his woman with another man because he doesn’t think it’s possible. He thinks he can do whatever he want, and nothing will come back to haunt him.

Randal keeps trying to get Marcie to fight. She says she begged him to sign the divorce papers, and she signed them, so as far as she’s concerned, she’s divorced. She says she’s going somewhere where she can live her life. She doesn’t want to stay there any longer and miss the best years. Randal says she can’t afford to leave. Marcie says he tried to make sure of that with the credit card. He says, guilty and she tosses her cards on the floor and says have them all. He talks about the baby and Alex and Brad and keeps trying to anger her. Lousie tells him if he keeps it up, she’s going to increase his life insurance.

Randal continues to act like an asshat, but Marcie ignores it. He asks her to come meet his son and babbles stupidly while Louise tries to get him to go back inside. Marcie puts her stuff in the car and leaves. He says, “What’s the matter? You don’t want to meet me and Alex’s son?” Rusty hears him and asks what he said.

Next time, Eddie is going to drag Ben down with him, Randal tells Rusty about his affair with Alex because he has a death wish, Julius says his father thinks he’s crazy, and Alex’s mother draws a gun.

Important information — The Real Housewives of New York City begins April 6.

March 15, 2016 — GH, BH, Haves, Nots & Wrong Loving

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Such a great episode yesterday! It’s opened the door to so many new storylines. Leave it to Helena to stir the pot, even after death. And I don’t care if Nicholas buried her in the backyard, I still say she’ll never die. Her and Faison.

Ava is talking to an unconscious Kiki. She says Kiki always did the opposite of what Ava asked her to and says maybe she should tell Kiki to stay asleep.

Sonny visits Morgan in the hospital.

Valerie sees Dante. She somehow managed to make it to graduation. Dante tells her that he and Lulu are back together.

Laura ponders Helena’s key. She says if she were smart, she’d throw it into the harbor and forget about it. Nicholas asks if that’s what she’s going to do and she says, nope.

Julian is speaking on the phone, conferring with someone to sabotage the Crimson issue. Alexis comes into his office with the dagger.

Anna tells Griffin it’s because of Duke that he’s been following her. He asks how she knew. Did she have a baby with Duke she doesn’t know about? Hey, could happen. Remember Vicki on One Life to Live?

Ava tells Kiki she loves her. She says she doesn’t care if Kiki ever talks to her again, as long as she talks to someone.

Morgan says he doesn’t want to see Sonny or anyone.

Laura says no matter what, the key will come back to haunt her. Nicholas says that’s what Helena wants, for them to look over their shoulders for what’s coming next. Laura says she succeeded. Nicholas tells Hayden he hopes she didn’t change her mind about marrying him and she says of course not. They talk about ELQ and he says she’s the only one who can help defend him against a Quartermaine onslaught.

Dante says he knows Valerie is seeing someone too. She says the jury is still out. He says Jordan doesn’t seem like a fan. Valerie says Jordan told her Curtis used to be a coke addict.

Curtis calls Hayden and says it’s an emergency.

Julian takes the dagger from Alexis. She asks if Nina is there and he says he’s waiting to go over some stuff with her.

Griffin’s middle name is Hugh which is a Lavery family name. Anna asks if he’s related to Duke and he says yes. He’s Duke’s son.

Dante asks Valerie if she’s still going to see Curtis. She says maybe, and that everyone makes mistakes and she wouldn’t want to be measured by hers forever. She says she appreciates his concern but her personal life isn’t his business. He has a nerve too, considering he’s been no angel.

Hayden says she’s going out for a while and Nicholas should focus on Laura.

Alexis says she’s had a strange day. Julian says, obviously. She says the dagger has brought the memories of her mother’s murder back. Can I put in a request for flashbacks?

Sonny gives Morgan a tablet, so he can communicate with everyone. Morgan says why, he has nothing to say. He asks about Kiki and Sonny says she’s surrounded by people who will help her get better, like Morgan is. Morgan says he’ll never get better.

Ava calls the nurse in because Kiki said something. She goes nuts on the nurse and demands to see the doctor.

Anna asks if Duke knew about Griffin. He says he never met Duke, and his mother was deeply religious and it would upset her to talk about him. When she died, she left him a letter. It wasn’t a serious relationship, and Duke never knew she was pregnant, but by the time she caught up to him, he was already in love with Anna and she decided not to say anything. Anna feels badly that because of her, Griffin never knew his father and Duke didn’t know he had a son.

Anna says Griffin must hate her. He says no, She asks why he didn’t just approach her. He says he didn’t know how to and she’s the only one who can help him get to know his father. She tells him that Duke was the casualty of a mob war. They were going to leave town and start over, but before they could, he was ambushed. She says she’s doing everything she can to bring his killer to justice. Griffin has to go back to the hospital and leaves, forgetting the letter.

Julian says he can only imagine the trauma. Alexis says she repressed it and tried to kill Helena later, but that didn’t happen. She says she hates being a Cassadine. He says he can sympathize having grown up in the Jerome family, but he’s moved past it and they’re moving forward with their own family. Alexis says their demons are in the past.

Hayden asks Curtis what the emergency is. He’s found an apartment and needs a co-signer. She says she was in the middle of something important with her husband He says the husband that tried to kill her.

Laura thinks the key looks like it belongs to a piece of furniture.

Morgan says he doesn’t even have a reason to get out of bed. Sonny says it’s not forever and as soon as the doctors find the right meds combo, he can come home and live a normal life. Morgan is skeptical.

Ava tells Griffin that Kiki hasn’t woken up, but no one can tell her why she hasn’t woken up yet. Griffin says her vitals are better, but they don’t have an estimated time and any answer he gave her would be a guess. Ava says Kiki spoke again. Griffin says he’s going to examine her to see if there are any changes.

Alexis says Olivia’s hearing is tomorrow and she’s going to have to work on the case all night. Julian says he knows she has it all sewn up, but he knows she didn’t come there for moral support, so whats’ up?

Valerie says she looks forward to the day she and Dante can put everything behind them. She says when she first came to Port Charles, she was excited about having family, and she’ll always care about both Dante and Lulu.

Hayden says no negativity about Nicholas, he’s having a rough time having been cut out of Helena’s will. She co-signs and says she expects to be paid back in service’s rendered. Curtis drinks out of an empty coffee cup. Look, actors, if the director won’t tell you this, I will, because you keep making the same mistake. Even if it really has nothing in it, at least make it look like the cup is a little heavy. It’s called “acting.”

Nicholas asks Laura why she doesn’t get rid of the key and deny Helena any more of her emotional effort and time. She says whatever Helena has put into motion, the consequences are still waiting for her and even beyond the grave, Helena is still playing her twisted games.

Anna reads the letter. Griffin’s mother says she was very young and in love, and that Duke lived a life very different from her own. She says once Griffin was born, she realized she should track him down, but by then he was with Anna, and she saw right away they had a bond she didn’t want to interfere with. She says she missed him every day, but Griffin lessened the pain and she knew she’d never be alone.

Sonny says if he could take away Morgan’s pain, he would, but in a way he’s glad Morgan is feeling it. That means he’s dealing with things. He promises Morgan it will pass and he’ll get through it. He says Morgan won’t go through it alone and he has a lot of people rooting for him. They’ll get through it together.

Griffin says there are indications of increased brain activity and he thinks Kiki will wake up soon. He says he knows Ava feels helpless, but surrounding Kiki with love and support is the best thing she can do. Ava says she’s not sure her presence comforts Kiki, since she hasn’t been so selfless in the past. Griffin says she doesn’t need to wonder what to do; she’s already doing it. Anna listens from outside the door.

Hayden leaves and Curtis sees Valerie. He says she’s just in time to help him celebrate getting his new apartment.

Anna gives Griffin the letter. He asks if she read it and Anna says yes. He says good, he didn’t want her to fault his mother for keeping him from Duke. Griffin says he’s not even sure if Duke would have wanted him. Anna says he would have, that he was a wonderful step-father. She tells him they tried to have their own child, but she lost it. and she was always sorry he didn’t have a child of his own. She says she’d like to give him a window for how Duke would have treated him.

Alexis wants press coverage of the hearing and Julian says he’ll provide it. She says they’re going to have every nursing mother within a 20 mile radius there. Julian hopes the mayor doesn’t have a heart attack.

Ava continues to talk to Kiki, saying she wishes she knew how to help. Kiki says “Morgan” again. Bleh.

Morgan says all he does it hurt people and even if he gets better, there’s nothing he can do for Kiki. Sonny’s phone rings and it’s Ava. She asks if he’s with Morgan. Ava tells Sonny that Kiki is showing signs of waking up and she’s asking for Morgan. She asks if Morgan can talk to Kiki. She thinks it might help.

Laura says Helena loved games and wonders if she’s hidden something in plain site.

Hayden says that Nicholas didn’t end up with nothing; he still has the lovely portrait. Nicholas says don’t remind him. Hayden says let’s go upstairs

Curtis says maybe he and Valerie can have a second date if Jordan hasn’t scared her off.

Anna tells Griffin that Duke lives on in his son, a doctor and a man who saves lives. She says Duke would have been enormously proud of him.

Sonny tells Morgan if he wants to help Kiki, now’s the time. Morgan gets on the phone and Ava puts it by Kiki’s ear. She says his name again. He asks if it’s her and she wakes up. She asks if he’s okay and he says now that he can hear her voice, he’s good. He promises to come see her soon.

On the phone, Julian tells the saboteur that it’s done and it’s exactly what he wanted.

Tomorrow, the new Crimson issue is released, Alexis grills Molly about Kristina and Sonny grills Kristina about herself.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Yolanda is getting ready to make a speech at a Lyme’s disease event and calls husband David because she’s stuck about what to say. He pretends to be supportive. She’s also inviting all the ladies to the event in NYC.

Kathryn is getting a new device to help her hearing. She’s very excited, but my question is, do you really want to hear all this crap? She might be sorry as soon as she goes to the next dinner party. She says until you lose one, you don’t realize how much you rely on your senses. Truth! She also realizes she’s probably been hollering at people for some time now.

Being a cancer survivor, Camille is having an event to end women’s cancer at her home. I love Camille and think she really got the shaft from that jerk she was married to who shall remain nameless. Kelsey Grammer. Camille is also selling some jewelry for the cause and Kyle says sometimes the only way to get people to donate is to shop. And they do.

Yolanda has a new short haircut, but I don’t remember her hair not being short. LisaR is uncomfortable about seeing her again. She’s going to be working and won’t be able to come to Yolanda’s event. She says she never knows what she’s going to get with Yolanda and doesn’t really trust her. I don’t know if I’d go that far, but I think Yolanda lacks understanding about quite a bit for someone so well-traveled.

Yolanda says she’s almost become psychic in the past year and LisaR’s energy has hit her weird. Okay. She gives Lisa a hug. Lisa says she saw the Instagram of Yolanda, Kim and Brandy the same day Yolanda was supposed to go to Erika’s party. Yolanda says she only has so much energy, and she’s known the other girls longer. She says they’ve supported her more than the rest of them put together. Really? I find that hard to believe.

LisaR wants to talk it out, but Yolanda says they’ve already done that. Lisa says the picture made her angry. Yolanda says someone else posted the picture in the first place. Eileen thinks she’s missing the point and says it’s not about the picture. Lisa says it gave her a trust issue and Yolanda says she has a trust issue with Lisa and trust is earned over time. Lisa says she just doesn’t understand the choice. Erika interjects that it was okay with her. Lisa says she’s in a lose-lose situation. Yolanda says it’s really between her and Erika and none of Lisa’s business, which I have to agree with. Lisa says you can get away with anything when you’re sick, and I also have to agree that there are people who do that. Everyone decides it’s a work in progress. Yolanda is tired and leaves. Lisa feels that something isn’t quite honest.

Kathryn visits LisaV, who greets her at the door with new pup Schnookie. Ken joins them. Giggy! Lisa tells her about the dog meat festival in Yulan and comes to tears talking about it. She and Ken have organized a march to protest. I’m so with her on this, having kept up with the issue myself and signed online petitions. Kathryn says she’ll do what she can to help. Kathryn likes Lisa and has no clue what’s up with Erika.

Oooh! LisaV has those magenta highlights again in her individual interview.

The ladies meet for dinner at a gorgeous restaurant with tables outside and lanterns hanging from the trees. Mauricio gives a toast and thanks them for being involved in the Habitat for Humanity project.

Mauricio is just back from Dubai and Kyle wants to go on a girls trip there. It’s a 16-hour flight. Count me out. Eileen says she needs a day off and can’t go to the march. In her individual interview, she says it’s awkward because she knows LisaV knows what she said about her being manipulative. She brings up the topic and Lisa asks exactly what she means by that. LisaR says it’s not manipulation but taking someone in a direction. LisaV says LisaR often has a delayed reaction to things, which is true.

LisaR says that LisaV texted her about Yolanda’s bi-polar comment, wondering why she wasn’t upset by it. Kyle says LisaR tends to be a follower and LisaV is more like a leader. LisaR says she prefers to think of herself as a people pleaser. Kathryn says she’s turning her hearing aid down. Told you.

It’s time for the Yulan march. Giggy! LisaV isn’t interested in anything negative today and refuses to discuss any of the dinner stuff. She and Kyle make jokes about Lisa’s manipulative ways. Lisa says look at all the people she manipulated into marching. At first, the march goes in the wrong direction and they end up picketing a church instead of the embassy or whatever. Oops. Kyle is like, we’re yelling at the wrong people. They finally get to their destination and afterwards, Lisa invites everyone to PUMP for a drink.

StopYulanForever.org

Yolanda invited Brandi and Kim on the NYC trip. Too bad they can’t make it…not. Neither can the two Lisas. Kyle talks about Dubai again and invites the ladies. Yolanda thinks it would wear her out too much though.

LisaR and Eileen are luggage shopping. Eileen has trepidation about the Dubai trip. Eileen talks about LisaR feeling more secure around her when they’re alone, but not so much when LisaV is around. She talks about Kyle and LisaV deflecting the subject to LisaR being a follower. Lisa looks up scapegoat. LisaR says, so she got pissed about something, big f-ing deal. Eileen says she’d better watch herself in Dubai since you can get arrested for cursing. I’m definitely out.

The ladies discuss the altercation between Eileen and LsaV. Kathryn thinks it’s cultural; Erika thinks it’s a personality clash and that Lisa doesn’t think she has anything to apologize for. She did apologize anyway though, so I don’t get why it can’t be dropped already.

The girls go to a cocktail party at The Jewel Suite. It’s a suite decorated in jewels by some famous designer. Um…I’m not that impressed, since it kind of looks like a jewelry museum and not a place I’d want to stay in. Yolanda plays Frere Jacques on the piano. Erika says she’s not allowed to buy jewelry because that’s her husband’s department. If she sees something she likes, she sends a picture of it to his secretary to show him when he’s in a good mood. What?

They go outside and the view is phenomenal. David pretends to be a good husband, saying how glad he is Yolanda is out and blah-blah-blah who cares. Yolanda toasts everyone who took time out to come and teach her the true meaning of friendship. She thanks her husband for actions speaking louder than words. Just wait. He says they’re going to make lemonade out of lemons and I throw up.

Tom and David talk, and David sounds a little less optimistic.

Next week, a red carpet is walked, Yolanda makes her speech, the Dubai trip happens, Brandi makes an appearance and Yolanda gossips to her about LisaR (showing the rest of us how she practices what she preaches).
If Loving You Is Wrong

Alex’s mother wants to see the baby and Brad is all for that. Her mother takes a peek, and Brad calls Alex’s father over. Her mother says Rusty is watching the game and doesn’t need to see the baby. Brad keeps insisting because he’s such a d-bag. Alex and her mother take the baby upstairs.

I don’t know what game Rusty is watching, but it doesn’t look like any game I’ve ever seen, since they’re only showing the bleachers.

Alex’s mother asks what’s going on. Brad tells her about Alex having an affair with Randal. He tells her about the “It’s A Boy” sign. Alex’s mother asks her if she had a baby with the “colored man” next door. Brad tells her to answer and her mother tells him to shut up. Ha-ha! Alex finally says yes. Her mother suggests Randal must have raped her, but Alex says no. Her mother asks how it happened then. She doesn’t know? Geez, they are sheltered.

Brad chimes in with blah-blah-blah about what Alex did. Her mother says she needs to get rid of the baby by leaving him at the hospital. She says if her father sees the baby, he’ll die. Wouldn’t that be a plus? Alex tells her that there’s only one person who raped her and he wasn’t an African American. She says her father raped her from the time she was six until she went to college and her mother knew. Her mother says Alex is no better than she is. She tries to get to the baby and slaps Alex, giving her a bloody nose. Brad steps in and she slaps him too. He asks if that made her feel good. She says Alex’s father had bad experiences, including his father being killed by a “colored man.” I guess this excuses him being a rapist. She says they’re getting out of there before her father kills everyone in sight .

Man, I would just clean out the bank account and move as far away as possible. These people are all nuts.

Alex sneaks out the side door with the baby.

Pete is wounded and trying to call for help. The radio doesn’t work so he uses his cell phone to call 911. Claudette has Esperanza take it, but the call gets cut off. Esperanza tells Stephen that Pete’s been shot. Eddie calls Ben, and tells him to get Pete’s phone. Stephen pretends to be calling Pete on the radio. I hate everyone in this show tonight.

Eddie tells Ben to make sure Pete is dead. He tells him look out for cameras, since everyone takes videos of everyone. He says to call back when Pete takes his last breath.

Ben tells Pete help is coming and takes his phone. Pete tells him that Eddie is going to kill him too, and asks why he did this. Ben says an ambulance is coming, but Pete doesn’t believe him. He should conserve his energy and play dead. Ben struggles for a second and calls for an ambulance Good boy!

Lushion comes over to Natalie’s house. He asks if Eddie tazed her in front of the kids. she says yes and he ought to know since he’s out riding dirty with him. She gives him a paper with his old boss’s phone number in Virginia. She tells him the boss would have him back in a heartbeat and that he should go. She says Eddie is no good and Lushion needs to get away from him. Lushion says if she doesn’t want him around, he’ll leave. He already moved out of his old place, but he’ll find another one. He says it almost kills her to tell him “I love you.” He’s pissed at her going behind his back to call his old boss. She says she doesn’t trust him. The old boss said he left four years ago and she wonders what he’s been doing all that time and why he has so much money. Lushion asks if Natalie loves him. She says she does and she couldn’t take something happening to him. He tells her to let him take care of things, but he can’t let her know what’s going on. She says until he can, she doesn’t want to see him.

He tells her Eddie will never bother her again. She says she doesn’t know what’s going on with him and she’s done. Lushion leaves. Natalie is being an idiot. He’s the only decent man on this show.

Ah-ha, Eddie! Everyone is running around the station and Esperanza tells him to go away. Claudia asks how bad Pete is, and Esperanza says they don’t know yet. She tells Claudia they still have a job to do, and take a break to calm down. Claudia kinda likes Pete.

Randal shows up at the hospital and the nurse calls for security. The a-hole janitor tells Randall that Alex has been discharged because it’s really men who can’t keep their mouths shut.

Marcie gets home from work. The stupid sign is still on their lawn. Randal’s mom comes downstairs. Marcie says she found a place, but she won’t need Louise’s money. She’s found a roommate — Brad. She says he has nowhere to go either. Louise says she can’t do that and that Randal is sorry. Marcie says she knows Randal and he’s not sorry. She tells Marcie it’s not a good idea. It’s easy to get over someone when you can slip under someone.

Marcie gets a call. She says something about a store. Randal is trying to charge something on her card and she tells them put it through. He’s charging $3800 in baby clothes. She says again he’s not sorry and she’s done. Louise says she’ll talk to him, but Marcie says there’s no need.

Kelly calls Ramses. She asks if he’s thought of a price for his mom’s house. Kelly thinks she might have a buyer. She asks if he’ll be around later. When she hangs up with him, she calls Natalie. She tells Natalie she found a house for her and explains about Ramses’s mom passing away. Natalie says she can’t afford it, but Kelly says she and Lushion have already been approved. Natalie says she and Lushion aren’t together anymore, but she doesn’t want to talk about it right now. Kelly says she’s coming over. Natalie says she has to go out and will call her when she gets back.

Marcie starts to pack. Brad discovers Alex and the baby gone. Marcie calls to tell him about the apartment. He asks her how she got done with her anger and she says she just got tired. He says he thinks he went too far and tells her about Alex’s parents. He tells her about Alex’s father having raped her and how he found out. He asks why he’d want to defend her. Well, that’s a stupid question. I would hope anyone would defend any woman who was raped at six-years-old. Marcie says he still loves Alex and she still loves Randal. Brad says he wants off the emotional roller coaster and she says that’s why she’s leaving. She tells him about the baby clothes Randal charged. She says she’ll let him know when she gets the key to the new place. I dunno. Unless Randal turns out to have a brain tumor, I don’t really think Randal should be with anyone except a therapist.

Brad looks for Alex. He sees Ramses mowing the lawn and asks if he’s seen her. That’s a no.

Alex’s mother suggests they go home. Her father says he’s too tired to drive back and didn’t they come all this way to see the baby? Her mother says Alex is lying down and brings Rusty another beer. Hopefully laced with arsenic.

Brad goes to Randal’s house, but Louise says Alex isn’t there. He goes in the back to the infamous shed. Not there either. Louise tells him to get off the property. Ha-ha! He kicks the sign down. I had the feeling he was going to do that.

What is this game Alex’s father is watching that only shows the fans in the bleachers? He goes upstairs and Alex’s mother says she’s gone. She says Rusty doesn’t want to leave, but Brad says he’s got to go. She says he wants to see the baby and Brad says he’s never going to be around his children again. By the time his other kids get home, they’d better be gone or he’s going to throw their asses out. Alex’s mother says he invited them and they’re staying. Brad says we’ll see about that.

Randal gets home with all the baby stuff and puts the sign back up. He is so insane. As he’s unloading the bags, he does a little dance. He goes inside and his mom is waiting for him. He asks if she isn’t happy to be a grandmother and she tells him he’d better take all the stuff back to the store. She tells him he’s out of his mind. Thank you. He says he’s never been so happy. She says Marcie is miserable. He says he loves her and he loves Alex too. Yeah, he’s such a catch. Louise says if he goes over to Alex’s, Brad will kill him. He says he’ll go over when Brad’s at work. I say go now while Brad and Alex’s parents are there.

Next week, some new characters are introduced, Esperanza tells Eddie off and Randal is still crazy.

The Haves and The Have Nots

Warlock shows up in Candace’s apartment like he’s a real warlock. He cracks her one and asks what the hell is wrong with her. She says she’s trying to get his money. He says she told Benny not to go into business with him. She says she doesn’t want Benny to get hurt. War says her deadline moved up.

There’s a knock at the door. Candace yells come in and it’s Erica. She introduces them and Erica says they need to hurry. War asks Candace to walk him to the door and he whispers that she has 48 hours.

When Candace comes back in, she can tell something’s wrong with Erica. Erica insists it’s nothing, but she’s shaking. Erica says he didn’t recognize her. She says Jasmine was her sister. She says Jasmine didn’t give him the $700 she owed him and Candace knows what can happen. Is she going to tell the rest of us?

Erica says War isn’t playing and he doesn’t care. Erica says she’d just moved there when he met her and he barely looked at her. She gives Candace the paperwork for the tow yard and house. Candace says she bought it for Benny. Erica says she bought it, she can mortgage it. Candace takes the paperwork. Erica breaths another sigh of relief that War didn’t recognize her and tells Candace to clean up.

Candace tells Erica her son is coming. Erica says this is a bad idea and what if War comes back? Candace says she hasn’t seen him in years. Erica says her own kids are better off without her and Candace’s son has managed fine so far. Candace won’t listen to reason.

David accuses Jim of putting a hit out on Veronica and tells him to call it off. Jim acts clueless and David asks for her address. Jim is like, you don’t know where your wife lives? David says if he doesn’t tell him, he’ll testify against Jim. Jim says a bunch of weird stuff and David tells him to quit playing games. Jim says it’s too late. David tells him to call it off and Jim acts stupid again.

David gets out his cell phone. He says he’s calling his wife and if he finds out Veronica is dead, he’s coming in there and killing Jim. Jim acts all snarky.

Candace talks to Lloyd at the bank. The paperwork looks good. Lloyd goes over a few things and she asks how long it will take to get the money. He says 30 days (shouldn’t Candace and Erica have known that?). She asks if they can do it in two days, but he says no. She says okay, but still wants to go ahead. When she leaves, Lloyd makes a call to the jail. He wants to see Jim.

Kathryn busts into the DA’s office. Jennifer says she can’t speak to Kathryn. Kathryn tells her to call Wyatt and if he doesn’t answer, it means something is wrong. Jennifer calls and there’s no answer. Jennifer asks if Kathryn did something to him, and Kathryn says no, Jennifer did. Kathryn asks her why she doesn’t have children, then runs down a list of possible reasons. She knows that Jennifer has eggs on ice, a specimen in a fertility clinic in Washington. Jennifer asks who she thinks she is. Kathryn says someone who will do anything for someone she loves — her son. She says Jennifer gave Wyatt his inheritance, and Jennifer says she gave a witness funds to protect himself.

Kathryn tells Jennifer keep telling yourself that. She says Wyatt has a substance abuse problem. Jennifer says he passed a drug test and Kathryn throws a box with the cleansing kit Wyatt used at Jennifer. She says that’s how he passed. Kathryn says go ahead and go after her and Jim, but now she gave Wyatt unlimited access to drugs and she should be dead for that. She says the name Kathryn Cryer will haunt Jennifer and any progeny she has forever. Kathryn says she’s not a nice woman and Jennifer says it’s a federal offense to threaten the DA. Kathryn asks Jennifer to let her make it more clear, “Bitch, I will have you murdered in the streets.” Yep. That’s crystal clear. Jennifer tells her to leave the office. Kathryn says if her son dies, no place in the world will be safe for Jennifer, her family, or her fertilized eggs. Then Kathryn tells her to try and have a nice day, since it might be her last.

Jennifer leaves a message for Wyatt to call her back right away. She makes a call for someone to track the phone stat. She doesn’t look too well. Ha-ha!

Hanna goes to Candace’s and Benny answers the door. She pushes him out of the way. The little girl’s grandfather is there, along with the lawyer. He tells Hanna that Benny and Candace want him and his daughter in on the lawsuit. Hanna tries to kick the lawyer out and Candace says it’s her house. The grandfather says maybe it’s best they leave.

Hanna tells Candace she isn’t fooling anybody, and Benny isn’t suing anybody. Benny says Wyatt hit him and asks how long Hanna knew. Hanna says Kathryn paid all his medical bills. Candace goads her by saying she knew all along. Benny says he was left in the street for dead and he should be payed for his pain and suffering. Hanna says he got out of the hospital and got a free house and tow yard. He says Candace paid for it. Hanna tells her to tell Benny where she got the money. Hanna says Candace blackmailed Jim out of $7 million and he already got his settlement. Candace says Jim gave her the money.

Hanna gets on her knees and begs Candace to let her raise Quincy Jr. She says he needs a stable home and she can give him that. He needs church and he needs God and he needs a place to heal and she can give him that. Candace say s she’s let him be raised by strangers in foster care before she’d let that happen and funny how Hanna is on her knees because that’s how the house was paid for. Hanna slaps her, and she slaps Hanna back. They go at it, but Benny steps in between them.

Hanna asks what date is because she’s marking it as the day she gave up. She says she went to God on her knees for Candace, and His word for her was to stop. She says she was up all night long because God had told her to no longer pray for her daughter. She says Candace will now know what it’s like when shes no longer covered in prayer. Candace asks who’s covering Hanna in prayer. Hanna says the blood of Jesus. Candace asks her where she’s living again. Hanna tells her to keep it up.

This show is so freaking intense, I almost don’t breathe through the whole thing. Does Tyler Perry write and direct all of these? Holy! When does he sleep?

David gets a call. It’s someone with Veronica’s address. He runs out of the jail.

Wyatt is unconscious. His hangers-on can’t rouse him, so they all leave. Nice.

Lloyd visits Jim, who says he’s livin’ the dream. Lloyd says he might find it interesting that Candace came into the bank looking for a loan and seems desperate. Jim asks how much she wants. Lloyd says $2 million in two days. Jim says she needs collateral and Lloyd says she has it. but he told her no. Jim says to give her the loan asap, but he wants Lloyd to hide a 15-day balloon payment in the fine print, and if she doesn’t pay, Lloyd is to foreclose on everything.

Social worker Aliyah goes to Candace’s house and hands her an envelope. She says all she could get was 55K. Candace says she should beat her ass again. Aliyah tells her that her son is still at the hospital and asks if she should tell them Candace is coming. Candace tells her to get out. Bye, Felicia! er…Aliyah!

Jeffrey meets Candace outside her place and sees his mother sitting in her car. Veronica’s phone rings and she asks Maggie to meet her at her place in 15 minutes. Then she calls the police and says she just saw someone break into her neighbor’s house, giving them her address. She gets out of the car, gathers up Jeffrey, and goes up to Candace.

Veronica asks to come in. Candace says no. Veronica says it’s about Quincy. They all go inside.

Commercial break. I’m not sure if it’s a new show or a TV movie, but it looks good. Greenleaf, coming in June, from the writer of Six Feet Under, one of my all time favorite shows.

Veronica asks how Candace is doing and she says better than Veronica’s hair. What is up with these hair comments? I think her hair looks fine. Quite stylish in fact. She talks to Candace about her place and asks is this is where Jeffrey lives. He says yes. Veronica says Melissa has been waiting for him to come back to the house. Jeffrey says he’s not coming back. Veronica says yes he is and they have a wedding to plan. Candace says shouldn’t she be worried about a trial? Veronica says no, but they look worried. She asks if Jeffrey is worried about testifying against her. He says no. Veronica splashes whatever is in her water bottle all around and says she has something to show Candace.

Veronica says she wants Melissa and Jeffrey to move in with her before the wedding. Jeffrey is like, yeah, okay, and Veronica says good by and leaves. Candace asks Jeffrey what the liquid is. Poison? He says she’s not that stupid and Candace tells him turn off the lights. All the blood lights up. Jeffrey asks how Veronica knows and Candace says she obviously does.

Jennifer gets a call that Wyatt has checked into the hotel. She tells them to check the room. Security knocks on the door and they find Wyatt unconscious. No, dead. Or at least with no pulse.

Veronica pulls up to her house. The gunman is inside at the ready. She goes up to the door, making us think for a moment that she forgot, but she just unlocks it. A police car drives up and she introduces herself. She says she thought someone was in her neighbor’s backyard. The officer says he checked it out, but no one was there. Maggie drives up and Veronica tells her to go right in and that she’ll be there in a minute. She’s actually licking her lips.

Maggie opens the door. The gunman shoots.

The end. For this season anyway.

March 8, 2016 — GH, Haves, Nots & Wives

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Lulu and Dante are all lovey-dovey, with hearts popping out of their eyes and bluebirds flying around with ribbons in their mouths.

Anna talks to Robert about the Carrrlos trail being cold. While someone sneaks around her place, Paul rings the bell. He tells her they have a lot to discuss. She tells him she’s had the feeling that someone has been following her. That’s because someone has been. Carrrlos, maybe?

Jordan calls Andre. She has an ark to go with his Indiana Jones hat. He invites her over to the bar, but she has her hands full with work and asks for a rain check.

Elizabeth interrupts Nicholas’s perusal of The Great Gatsby. She says she knows the look on his face and he’s doomed.

Hayden wonders why Baxter is in Port Charles. I’d be wondering what he’s doing at the MetroCourt with Sam. He and Sam talk phony finances. Curtis runs into Hayden in the hallway and she blows him off and gets out of there. Sam says she has a family emergency and has to go. Baxter tells her to settle the tab because he’s a real d-bag.

Sam makes a call to the first number on Baxter’s contact list. When she says she’s a friend of Rachel’s, they hang up.

Curtis follows Hayden to the bar. He wonders why she looks shaken. He thinks she ran into someone she knew who she didn’t want to see.

Paul asks if Robert has made any progress in finding Carrrlos. Anna says Robert followed the trail to London and then, nothing. She says Carrrlos might be using it as a jumping off point and to establish new identities for him and Sabrrrina. Paul says they can now work openly and honestly with each other, and says his admiration for her grows each day. Anna isn’t having any, and says she wouldn’t trust Paul as far as she could throw him.

Dante says he wants to rebuild the relationship and stay together for the rest of their lives. Lulu says they can’t rush things and forget what happened. They need to stop blaming and start forgiving. Hmm… They start making out and it looks like they’re rushing something here.

Andre shows up at Jordan’s office with some food. He says the way things have been going, this might be their last meal together.

Anna says her view of Paul hasn’t changed. She says the only reason they’re still talking is that she needs him to capture Carrrlos. She says it doesn’t end until Julian is in a prison cell, and if they end up there too, so be it. He asks what if there’s another way?

Curtis tries to get Hayden to tell him what’s going on, but she says everything is fine. She was only shocked to see someone from another life. He says the past has a way of catching up. He asks if she’s in trouble.

Nicholas tells Elizabeth he’s happy with Hayden. Elizabeth says if he’s happy, she’s happy, like I believe it. She thanks him for his hospitality and tells him if it gets to be too much with the kids, to let her know. When she leaves, Nicholas gets a call from Sam.

Sam says Baxter pretended not to know Hayden. She tells him about calling the number he excused himself to call and how they hung up after she said she was a friend of Rachel’s. She says by the time she called back again, the number was disconnected. Um… I don’t think that can be done that fast, so let me pretend it was a throwaway cell number. Nicholas tells her to forget everything and drop the case.

For not rushing things, Dante and Lulu are getting pretty busy. Lulu suddenly puts on the brakes. She tells Dante she thought things had changed for her, but they haven’t.

Paul wants to give Carrrlos immunity in order to nail Julian. He says life isn’t always neat and tidy, and sometimes you have to make a mess to make things better, sounding a little like Edward Albee.

Hayden tells Curtis she’s not in trouble. He says she left the MetroCourt like someone was chasing her, and just downed two stiff drinks. He says he’s concerned about her and wants to help her free of charge. He asks if her husband knows about the past she’s running from.

Sam is shocked that Nicholas wants to close the book on Hayden. She says she knows Baxter is lying. She says what if Hayden’s in trouble and needs him to protect her. Nice try. Nicholas says thanks for the help, but we’re done. He hangs up and eavesdropper Elizabeth is standing there. Geez, if you can’t be alone at Windemere, where can you be alone?

Dante says he gets it. Lulu says she doesn’t want to beat up on him and knows he’s sorry. He says they should get rid of the bed and then the loft. He suggests they get a house with a swing set and herb garden. Lulu says if they’re moving forward, they have to be honest and she doesn’t want an herb garden. He says he wants them to have a king size bed that they pick out together. She says they’re not done healing and that they just got divorced. She says she’s not sure they can put things back together on their own; they need help

Andre talks about Morgan. Jordan says their lives are going to intersect that way. He says last time they met, she accused him of trying to analyze her and he was just trying to get to know her. She apologizes for over-reacting. She says her history with Curtis is difficult to talk about. Andre says it’s her call if and when she wants to talk about it. She says she did something she regrets and Curtis tried to intervene, but destroyed people’s lives instead. I’m definitely intrigued.

Sam bumps into Hayden. She asks if Hayden is meeting Nicholas. Hayden says she had a business meeting, but missed it. She asks why Sam is there and all dressed up, since usually biker chick fashion is her thing. Sam says she was just out for a drink, but this place isn’t her speed.

Elizabeth says it’s clear that Nicholas doesn’t trust Hayden. He says that friendship has it’s limits and she’s over-stepping her bounds. He says she heard him tell Sam forget about it. Elizabeth asks why he married Hayden if he doesn’t trust her.

Anna says Paul is assuming Carrrlos has kept his mouth shut, and what about Sabrrrina. Paul says she’ll want to protect he father of her baby. He says sooner or later, Carrrlos is going to need help. Anna says the only person they could reach out to is Paul. She asks if he funded the trip to London and takes his silence as an answer. She says when they run out of money, they’ll have to call Paul. She says when they do, she’d better be the first call he makes afterward. She says he’d better not play her and he says he takes both business and pleasure very seriously.

Jordan and Andre make plans for another date. Andre says he’d like it to be outside of her office and suggests going dancing. He leaves and Jordan is all smiley. Oops, he forgot his hat. Someone’s at the door, but it’s Curtis. Didn’t they pass each other?

Elizabeth says she doesn’t want Nicholas to get hurt the way he did with Britt. She says he’s paying someone to find out why he doesn’t trust her. She says he should get out before it’s too late and show Hayden the door. Oops! Hayden is there and says that she wants to talk to her husband. Elizabeth makes an exit and Hayden asks if it’s true that Nicholas is having her investigated. He says it’s true, but he called it off. She asks if it’s because of what he found out, and he says no, it’s because of what he didn’t, making perfect sense…not.

Lulu says they need an objective third person and they need to stop talking to the people they know and not talking to each other. Dante is on board with that, and says what they’re doing feels right. She says it will feel more right later and she’s leaving before she changes her mind. Before she leaves, she tells him if he burned the bed, she won’t lose any sleep.

Anna tells Paul if Carrrlos contacts him, she wants to be the first to know. Paul says when he contacts Paul, he’ll call her. That was fast. Paul gets a call from Carrrlos as soon as he’s on the porch.

Curtis is pissed because Jordan told people that he’s a drug addict and he’s been clean for years. If she wants him to stay out of her business, she’d better stay out of his. He says she’s got a lot to be concerned about with her past and she needs to keep her mouth shut and so will he.

Nicholas says he knows there’s more to the Rachel story than Hayden has told him, but he doesn’t care. All he knows is that they love each other. He says maybe one day she ‘ll tell him the rest of the story. He says he felt sick when he realized he was prying into a past that had nothing to do with him. He says all that matters is today and that they’re happy. He told Sam to drop it and that she told him nothing because there’s nothing to tell. She thanks him and he thanks her for not getting angry. She says she’s not thrilled about Elizabeth, and he says he’ll make sure she understands the situation and stays out of Hayden’s way. He tells Hayden she’s his priority and I want to marry him.

Elizabeth meets Sam. Elizabeth says she overheard Nicholas and Sam talking, and heard Nicholas telling her to drop the investigation. Sam tells her to discuss it with Nicholas. Elizabeth says Sam should keep investigating for Spencer’s sake and that even if Sam thinks Nicholas deserves it, Spencer will be the one who ends up with the biggest broken heart. She says if that matters to Sam, she should continue.

Tomorrow, Carly doens’t want Jason working for Sonny, Tracy goes to the crypt, and Felix tells Michael that Sabrrrina really loves him.

The Haves and The Have Nots

Jeffrey tells Justin it’s very freeing to come out and asks if he’s like a kiss. Candace comes home and Justin tells her she had a break-in. He asks if she knows Quita. She says yes and Jeffrey says she forgot to give Quita the key. Not much Justin can say at this point, so he leaves.

After he’s gone, Candace asks Jeffrey why Justin’s zipper was unzipped. Jeffrey tells Candace that Quita was looking for Quincy and asks what she did with him. She says she took care of it. He asks for his keys and she says she doesn’t know where they are. She asks again about Justin’s pants.

Jeffrey tells Candace he can track his keys on a phone and she gives him hers. Erica comes by and asks who Jeffrey is .Candace introduces him and says he’s not on their team. Jeffrey says the phone says the keys are there. He goes to look.

Erica asks Candace if she told Benny about the mortgage. Candace says no and Erica says she’s running out of time and Warlock is serious. Jeffrey comes back and says his keys are in the backyard under the dirt. Candace tells him no. Erica wonders why the keys would be there.

Jeffrey starts to dig and Candace stops him. She tells Erica she’ll talk to her later. When Erica leaves, Candace tells the suddenly clueless Jeffrey to give her the phone. She calls War and he says he put the keys with “the package.” She tells Jeffrey to call a locksmith because his keys are gone. She has to repeat herself and finally tells him they’re with Quincy. Jeffrey freaks that she buried Quincy in the backyard. She says it’s not like Jeffrey was helping, which is so true.

Jeffrey tells her what happened with Justin and that he thinks Justin is suspicious. Candace says they can use this. She tells Jeffrey to play Justin and find out what he knows. Jeffrey says Quita told him the neighbor said three men went in, but only two went out. Candace says they can’t move the body because cameras are trained on the house. Jeffrey says Justin put a gun to his head and Candace is like, welcome to my life. Jeffrey says Justin is crazy and Candace tells Jeffrey to be crazy. She tells Jeffrey to call a locksmith and says she has to speak to Benny.

Hanna is rifling through cupboards and cushions at the Cryer house. Is she looking for change? She pulls out every dollar from every pocket, change purse and whatever else she can find.

Wyatt is partying and when some guy tells him to slow down, he tosses him out. The hotel room is full of lowlifes sharing the wealth and there’s a huge plate of cocaine on the table.

Quita gets sprung and meets Veronica in her car outside. Quita says there’s a hit out on Veronica, and one of their boys is at her house right now. She says he has orders to shoot whoever comes in first. Veronica asks why she’s telling her this. Quita says she needs Veronica’s help to find Quincy. She tells Veronica about what she found at Candace’s and that Jeffrey was driving Quincy’s car. She says she knows Candace and Jeffrey must have done something to Quincy. Veronica tells her to calm down and go home and she’ll call her later.

David comes to the jail and asks when Veronica was processed. The guard says she left a half hour ago. He tries to visit Jim, but that’s a no since he’s not authorized.

Kathryn meets with Lloyd and finds out about the $12 million that Wyatt was given. He says he tried to call her. He also tells her about the $7 million Jim moved to the “Candy Cane Company” that was allocated for taxes and that they have to pay the bill. She tells him to move the money. He also tells her that Jim’s lawyer thinks they should move a bunch of money out in case of a lawsuit.

When Kathryn gets home, Hanna comes out and tells her she went through everything and came up with 900 dollars and she’ll expect the rest of her pay on the first of the month. Kathryn gives her whatever from her pocketbook. Hanna says she just wants what’s owed her. Kathryn says no one, not even her mother, has cared for her like Hanna has and if she walks out the door, Kathryn is lost.Hanna tells her she’s already lost. She asks what she can give Hanna and Hanna says she’s not for sale.

Kathryn says Hanna isn’t Candace and tells Hanna about the $7 million. She says she knows Candace must have been blackmailing Jim. She tells Hanna about Wyatt getting his trust fund and says she can’t bury another child. She begs Hanna not to leave. Hanna says she has to go. Kathryn asks if this is it and Hanna says she has to check on her grandson. She leaves, leaving Kathryn saying, please.

Mitch shows Jeffrey the paper with the picture of him and Veronica. Apparently his first concern is the age difference. He says that he pissed David off and now David is messing with their business. Mitch asks what David wants and David says details. Mitch tells him to spill, but Benny says that’s for Veronica to do. Candace comes in to talk to Benny.

Mitch leaves and Candace asks if Benny has seen War. Benny says he tried to get him to go into business with him, but it was a no. In the coincidence that is only soap opera world, War comes in. War gives Candace a hug and whispers not to try anything. He says he’ll call her later.

When he leaves, Candace tells Benny that he should stay away from War. She asks him what’s going on and how business is. He says good and she asks if he thought about the lawsuit. He says he has what he needs already. She says she spoke to someone who said he can get $10 million, but Benny says he wants to make his own money. He asks why it’s important to her and she says there’s something she needs to handle and she’s going to have to mortgage the the house and tow yard. Benny says no way. He asks what kind of problem she has. When she doesn’t want to say, he tells her to get out.

He says she’s lost her mind and asks if she’s in trouble. He says he’ll kill whoever it is. She says she’s not in trouble and he repeats who is it. She says it’s just a business opportunity that she’s going to miss. He tells her to never ask him again. She pretends she was kidding and asks if he’ll still meet with the lawyer. She says he won’t even have to go to court since they’ll probably settle. He says he’ll think about it.

The party at Wyatt’s hotel room continues. Now he’s shooting up. No good can possibly come from this.

Kathryn visits Jim in his cell. He tells her she looks good, and she says she’s not in the mood for a nice Jim right now, because that means he’s worried. She tells him about Lloyd and that Hanna quit. He says it’s the first step to a lawsuit. She tells him about Wyatt getting his inheritance. Jim asks where he is and she says she doesn’t know. He says to find Wyatt and rip DA Jennifer a new one.

Jennifer can’t find Wyatt either. David comes busting in and asks where Veronica is and if she left a home address. He manhandles Jennifer and says he needs to see Jim. She tells him to see Maggie. She says he has time for Maggie and not for her, since he’s the only man on earth. He asks her to please let him see Jim. She tells him five minutes and calls to give him allowance.

Candace and Benny visit a lawyer. He thinks it will be an easy case and settlement a good possibility. Candace says she’ll contact the grandfather of the little girl who was killed. The lawyer says she should be a lawyer. She says she’s in law school and he says if she can make this happen, he’ll offer her a position when she graduates.

Hanna is at the hospital to see Quincy Jr. The doctor says she can’t see him and she has to talk to child welfare. The social worker tells her that it’s been decided Quincy Jr. is better off with Candace since Hanna has no home for him. Hanna says Candace got to her. She says she did what’s best for her grandson. Hanna asks if she can see him before Candace gets him, but Aliyah says no.

Erica asks Candace what Benny said, and she says he lost it when she brought up the mortgage. Erica says she can forge the documents in an hour. Candace doesn’t want to do it, but Erica says this is War she’s dealing with. Candace makes a phone call, telling the grandfather about the pending lawsuit and asking if he would like to join them. She asks if he’ll meet her later at the house. Erica says she can pay the mortgage back as soon as they win the case. She says she’s going to work on the deeds and Candace doesn’t have a choice.

Veronica drives up to her house. She looks on the surveillance camera from her tablet and sees a guy hanging out inside. She calls Maggie and tells her thanks for planting the picture. She says she knew her marriage was over but didn’t have the guts to end it. She says she wants to talk to Maggie about some sensitive David issues and asks her to meet her at the house. Great move!

Next week, David visits Jim who says it’s too late, Hanna wants to see Candace, and Kathryn threatens to kill Jennifer..

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Erika is having a dinner party. Those always go so well. Yolanda calls. She’s having a bad day and Erika lets her off the hook to come.

LisaR and Kathryn are taking a limo together. Kathryn is anxious to meet Erika’s husband, Tom. Lisa says he’s super smart and has charisma up the kazoo. I think that’s gazoo, Lisa.

Erika doesn’t do cooking, so a fabulous meal is being prepared by chefs. She says she doesn’t tell Tom about the petty nonsense that goes on between the girls, so he’s clueless about what happened at Yolanda’s party. Eileen also can’t make it because she’s working. LisaV also has to leave early due to a charity event.

Kathryn bugs LisaR about not eating. For the love of all that’s holy, leave her alone. Ken is there, but the other husbands have work duties. Tom joins the group. He seems like a pretty cool guy.

They sit down to dinner. LisaV brings up Tom calling her a worthy opponent and he says she’s the only one he has in life. He says he decided to be a lawyer because of watching Perry Mason. LisaR talks about how kids come up to her husband and say LA Law inspired them.

Kathryn bugs LisaR about eating again. She claims she’s just joking and Lisa says she’s pushing it. She thinks Kathryn is being inappropriate and threatens to repeat her performance in Holland. LisaV suggest giving her a sippy cup and the mood lightens.

Erika says it’s slow process for her to show emotion. Kathryn asks if people have to prove themselves to her and gets a little animated. Tom gets involved in the conversation and in her individual interview, Erika says Kathryn doesn’t have to hit them over the head with her personality. Erika says closeness develops over time and Kathryn says to throw her a freakin’ bone. In her interview, LisaR says Kathryn is being loud and aggressive, and she’d like to muzzle her. Erika says she’s not cold, but cautious and LisaV says it comes across that way sometimes. Lisa says she has a problem of coming across controlling and brings up the web making comment.

Erika tells Kathryn thanks a lot, since she thought she was confiding in her. Kathryn says she was glad Erika opened up. Erika rolls her eyes and Kathryn tells her knock it off. Erika is like why are you telling at me in my own home? Kathryn says she’s losing the argument and Tom wonders if they do this all the time. Erika says they don’t have to like her and LisaR asks why Kathryn felt the need to repeat what Erika said. Kathryn says she wanted a reaction. LisaR says hallelujah for honesty. Erika says Kathryn put a wedge between her and LisaV’s potential friendship.

LisaV keeps interjecting things about the web comment. Tom says it’s both a positive and negative statement. Kathryn says maybe LisaV didn’t get the gist. Lisa says, oh now it’s my fault, joking around. She says she really has to jet, but it’s been real and she’d like to get to know Erika better. Tom says something about her having to leave, even though Bravo’s preview led us to belive he was asking Kathryn to leave. Actually, I wouldn’t blame him if he asked everyone to leave.

Erika is appalled at the whole thing and says it’s not what she wanted. Has she ever watched this show and seen how dinner parties end up? Hell, she was in the midst of one last week. She adds that she’d never come to someone’s home, meet their husband for the first time and act like an ass. So, she’d wait for the second time? LisaR says Kathryn doesn’t have malicious intent, but she likes to push buttons and she’s had enough now. Erika rates the dinner party as a negative 5 and says she’s never doing that again.

Commercial break. The Real Housewives of NYC starts on April 6.

Erika and Kyle are playing a game of tennis. Neither of them is very good and I identify. Kyle talks about how Mauricio’s company is involved with Habitat for Humanity. He just got back from Dubai and Kyle wants to open a store there. Kyle asks her how the party went. Erika says she tried to keep the whole conversation to a minimum in front of her husband, and now he’s pissed because he doesn’t like her being catty.

Kathryn and Don are shopping and he asks about the dinner party. Kathryn acts like butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth about spreading the web comment. Don misuses that honesty word in true Wives fashion, saying Kathryn just tells it like it is. He does say she can be a little brutal at times though. Kathryn says she thinks she’s fair. I don’t know about that, but she sure has a big mouth.

LisaR and Eileen meet at the beach. Eileen says she’s been doing a lot of stunts on her show and has been having a lot of fun. Lisa says her hat’s off to Eileen for being in the soap business for over 30 years. Mine is too. Eileen questions Lisa’s reaction to Erika presenting LisaV as manipulative. LisaR says she wanted to be LisaV’s cheerleader, and she thinks LisaV can be manipulative, but so can a lot of them. Then she opens her big mouth and tells Eileen about how Kyle and LisaV passed comments back and forth about Yolanda. She says LisaV encouraged her to bring up the Munchausen’s issue. She says she’s allowed herself to be used as a pawn. Eileen says she’s speechless. So am I. None of these women are children, and I think they should all put their big girl panties on and think for themselves.

LisaR tells Eileen that Yolanda had lunch with Brandi and Kim the same day she canceled on Erika. Eileen thinks it’s her business, but she probably shouldn’t have worn herself out when she knew she had a commitment. Eileen says since she’s ill, she gives her a pass. Lisa says she thinks Yolanda uses her illness to her advantage. Lisa says something emotional isn’t being dealt with. Eileen says that’s not her experience with Yolanda. She says her gut feeling says to run from Yolanda since she’s more manipulative than anybody.

Kathryn, accompanied by Don, is getting a hearing test. She’s deaf in one ear. She says when she’s in a loud environment, the background noise sounds like Charlie Brown’s teacher. She sees the doctor after the test. She says that people think she’s being rude when she really doesn’t hear them. Having loss of hearing in one ear, I totally understand this. The doctor offers her some kind of new device that she says is music to her ear. BA-DUM-BUM!

Kyle brings Yolanda some flowers. Yolanda is getting an award from the Global Lyme Alliance. She’s invited the girls to New York. She wants them to see that her problem is many people’s problem. Kyle wants to discuss the email. Yolanda says she felt attacked by Kyle. Kyle says it was between them and Yolanda sent it to everyone, but Yolanda says everyone was there for the original argument. She says she just wants clarity in her friendships with everyone and she’s better with one on one communication. Which totally explains why she wanted everyone to get the email. Kyle decides to just agree and move on, even though she didn’t really get an answer as to why Yolanda wanted to hang on to their altercation.

The ladies gather for the Habitat for Humanity gig. LisaR says none of them have manual labor skills, so this should be good. Eileen is working and will be joining them later. Mauricio explains the program to them on their way there. I do have manual labor skills and would love to do this.

Kyle says it should be interesting to see a group of ladies who don’t even paint their own nails paint a house. More about Habitat for Humanity is explained.

LisaV thanks Erika for dinner. She keeps joking about the web thing and Erika is over it. Later, Kyle says she’s afraid of spiders and it starts again. LisaV privately tells Kyle enough now. She says Erika has had enough and she’s obviously not laughing.

Erika tells LisaR and Eileen that she doesn’t trust Kathryn any more after she repeated what Erika said and then went through it at the dinner party. Eileen wants them to talk to each other and suggests asking Kathryn to come in on the conversation. Eileen asks Kathryn why she brought up the web thing at Erika’s house. Erika says she has a hard time having a relationship with LisaV because of her. Why would Lisa want to be friends with her and nice to her now? She says Tom was trying to get to know Kathryn. Kathryn says he’s lovely and Erika asks how she would know since she talked the whole time. Erica is waving her hand around and telling Kathryn to listen for once Kathryn tells her not to do that with her hand and Erika says, or what? Ooh, white rich people thug life. I’m also paraphrasing since Erika is talking pretty fast.

Erika says she wants to be friends with Kathryn, but this has hurt their friendship. Kathryn says she can be trusted, as long as she lets her know she needs to be trusted. LisaR says Kathryn is full of it and that she should have known better. Kathryn apologizes, but says they’re overly sensitive in her interview. Erica says she’ll give a person a second chance, but not a third.

Next week, the ladies go to a women’s cancer event, a dog slaughter protest goes in the wrong direction, Yolanda calls everyone out, and David Foster pretends to be a loving husband.

March 1, 2016 — GH, Candace’s Condo, & Beverly Hills

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Alexis and Julian are using their gift certificate. Julian suggests using room service for dinner.

Griffin comes to Tracy’s aid and Hayden makes a call to the family.

Ava tells Franco she’s not confident that Paul can get her out of being arrested for arms trafficking.

Jordan tells Paul she still has quesitons for Ava.

Jason pays attention to Sam and plays with Danny in the Shriners waiting room, totally bumming Elizabeth out. She acts all nice when we all know what’s really going on in her head. Danny has brought a toy truck for Jake. Great choice for a kid who just got hit by a car. Elizabeth and Jason go with Danny to give it to him.

Tracy asks what happened. Hayden tells her she had a seizure and Griffin wants her to go to the hospital to get checked out. She says she thinks she’s dehydrated and asks for some water. Griffin helps her to a chair. Griffin says it might not be anything serious, but she should get checked. Dillon comes in and seconds that.

Franco says that if Ava can’t be there for some reason, he’ll look after Kiki as if she was his own, no matter what. He says he thought she was his daughter for a long time, and the feelings didn’t go away.

Paul asks why Jordan needs to discuss Ava’s immunity deal with her. Jordan says she is the police commissioner and wants to be up to speed. Paul tries calling Ava when Jordan leaves, but she doesn’t have her phone with her. Really? With Kiki in the hospital?

Ava says it surprises her to say it, but Franco has been a great surrogate father for Kiki and she’s happy to have him. Franco says that Paul is good at covering his tracks, and he’ll probably cover hers fine as well. Jordan shows up and asks to talk to Ava.

Jake thanks Danny for the toy truck and again seems like a normal kid. The boys go with Jake to the hospital playroom. Elizabeth tells Jason she finds it strange that Sam brought Danny for a visit. Because thinking about someone other than herself is a foreign concept.

Nicholas sees Sam in the waiting room. They talk about Shriners and how Spencer made the bow ties to drum up donations. Where is Spencer? They talk a little about the wedding. Nicholas asks if there’s an update on Hayden.

Tracy keeps denying she had a seizure, but Griffin and Dillon insist she go to the hospital.

Alexis and Julian peruse the room service menu, but toss it aside for more nookie.

In the hospital, Tracy says this is a waste of time. Griffin says he wants to check her PET and CT scans before she leaves. Tracy says she wants the best neurologist. Griffin says what about the best neurosurgeon? She says she wants someone who’s been working at GH for more than five minutes.

Elizabeth says she’s surprised Sam just showed up. Jason says she didn’t, he called her. Elizabeth asks if he wanted to see her. He says he wanted to see both her and Danny. Elizabeth says she didn’t realize how serious things were already, because she is a clueless self-centered idiot.

Sam’s phone rings and it’s Baxter. She says she’s come into some money and wants to invest it. She makes a date to meet with him in Manhattan. Nicholas says he can’t wait to see what she finds out as Jason looks on from a distance.

Franco sits next to Kiki’s hospital bed and talks to her. He pulls out his phone and tells Kiki a cat story he finds on the internet. Deciding the internet is nothing but crap, he wonders what he can say or do to inspire Kiki to come back.

Jordan tells Ava that Paul told her about their arrangement. Since she’s being vague, we know she’s trying to trick Ava into spilling the beans. Ava asks if Paul told her all of the details. At just the right moment, Paul comes in and says Jordan knows all about the immunity deal. Jordan says Ava was about to tell her the intimate details of their relationship. Ava says she realizes how that sounded, but now that Paul is here, he can do that. Jordan wants to talk to Ava alone, but Paul says Ava needs to tend to Kiki. Jordan leaves and Paul tells Ava she’s welcome.

Franco reads what sounds like an online privacy agreement to Kiki. He wants to bore and annoy her so much, she wakes up. He babbles as only Roger Howarth can do, talking about magic wands, Morgan and Griffin. He asks what he can do to bring her back.

Jason joins Sam with Danny. Jason says he knows Nicholas is her family and she doesn’t talk about cases so he’s not going to talk about Nicholas. It turns out he and Sam are staying at the same hotel, so they leave to put Danny to bed. Elizabeth sees them leave together because she just can’t mind her own business.

Paul says thanks to his efforts, Ava won’t have to serve jail time for their arrangement. She says an arrangement he roped her into. She says he got there just before she told Jordan everything, and she would have protected herself at all costs. They talk about Kiki. Ava says she’d give anything for Kiki to wake up.

Jake is having FaceTime with Franco. Franco asks if he can show Jake’s latest picture to Kiki. Franco asks about Elizabeth and tells Jake she loves him and is the best mom ever. Franco talks to Kiki about Jake getting better and says Kiki is going to get better too.

Hayden waits while Dillon gets a soda. Griffin leaves Tracy’s room and Hayden goes in. Tracy says he went to get the rest results. Tracy says she bets Hayden can’t wait to hear that something is wrong with her. Hayden says it’s not like that and Tracy tells her to go away, calling her Rachel. Dillon overhears and is like, what? Griffin comes back and kicks them both out.

Nicholas talks to Elizabeth in the waiting room. Elizabeth says Sam is going to be part of her life forever because they both have sons with Jason.

At the hotel, Jason hugs Sam and says he’s glad she’s okay. He says he wishes he’d been there and she says she does too.

Griffin brings Dr. Mays (the nasty one who Sonny blew off) to Tracy’s room. Back again, Hayden and Dillon thank Griffin for his help. Tracy insists she didn’t have a seizure. The doctor asks if it’s happened before. She says no, but Dillon beings up her spacing out and Hayden chimes in with what she’s observed. Tracy says she was just having senior moments and she asks Dillon and Hayden to leave. Dillon is afraid she’ll lie to the doctor, but they go.

Julian and Alexis make sweet pillow talk. I don’t have a senior moment, but intentionally space out. Julian says getting a second chance with her was the most important thing that’s ever happened to him and he doesn’t want to blow it. Does that mean he’s going to? Blah-blah-blah Julian has changed and Alexis is sooo happy about that. Bluebirds with ribbons in their mouths fly around the happy couple. Bippity boppity boo.

Dillon tells Hayden that Tracy is just scared and taking it out on her. Hayden says she should probably go, but to keep her posted. Dillon says he thinks there’s something seriously wrong with Tracy and that she’s suffering from delusions. Hayden says she might be having seizures, but she’s sharp as a tack. He asks why she would call Hayden “Rachel.”

Paul says he was happy to get Ava off the hook since the thing with Kiki is enough. Ava says its her fault and Paul says she can help by getting out of the business. He says she has a clean slate now, but she brings up the flash-drive that he has. She asks if she can have it.

Franco calls Elizabeth and tells her about the conversation with Jake. He wants to apologize for thinking he understood what she was going through with her son. He says he’s got a better understanding now that Kiki is in the hospital. He says he doesn’t know what to do to get her to wake up. Elizabeth says the only way to get through it is to get through it. Thanks, Yoda.

Sam says she knew in her gut that Jason could stop the bad guys. Jason asks if it’s because of his past. Sam says yes. He asks if that’s why she trusts him, because of his past life. She says yes. Well, that was kind of a dull ending.

Tomorrow, Sonny says he would kill to protect his family (like we didn’t know that already), Tracy tells Dillon what’s wrong with her, and Jason wants to know if Sam trusts the new him.

The Haves and The Have Nots

Candace’s nosy neighbor calls her son the cop. She keeps seeing Quita circle the block.

Quita and her friend Taylor break into the back door of Candace’s place. How come nosy neighbor didn’t see them go back there? They use the GPS to find Quincy’s phone, which stupidly, no one has gotten rid of. Quita sees a way too clean floor. Quita wants to find her brother, but Taylor says they’d better book.

Jim tells Veronica that he’s going to miss her. She says she can’t say the same. He asks if she’s going home to freshen up, and she tells him to get comfortable in the cell since he’s going to be there for a while.

The cops show up at Candace’s place. They handcuff Quita and Taylor. Quita insists she knows Candace and she was invited there. The cops ask for Candace’s phone number, but Quita doesn’t have it.

Jeffrey, who can’t stay away from trouble, comes by and the neighbor points him out. The cops ask him if he knows Quita and Taylor and he says no. He asks Quita if she knows Jeffrey and says he was driving her car. Quita asks Jeffrey where Quincy is. Justin, nosy neighbor’s son and bad cop, wants to talk to Jeffrey in the house. Ugh! I can’t stand this guy and it makes me nervous when he’s around Jeffrey.

Justin asks what’s up and if there’s drug running out of the house. He says something is going on and he knows it. Jeffrey says he doesn’t know what Justin is talking about and he just came to get keys that he left there. Justin wants him to call Candace, but he says he doesn’t know the number by heart. Justin says they’ll wait then. He tells the other cops to take Quita and Taylor in, and says he and Jeffrey are going to wait for Candace.

Justin acts like he’s king of the castle. He asks if there’s some wine around and tells Jeffrey to find him some. Jeffrey asks if Justin is still on duty. He asks Justin to leave and says he’ll have Candace call him. Surprisingly, Justin says okay. Then he gets a little bananas. He tells Jeffrey that Quita said she’s looking for her brother, Jeffrey had her car, there was blood in the car and his mother told him three men came in and only two came out.

He says he knows something’s going on and if he leaves, he’ll be in investigation mode. He asks if that’s what Jeffrey wants and Jeffrey says no. Justin tells him, good choice, and says to pour a drink for himself too, making me nauseous.

Candace meets Landon at a restaurant. Landon says he wants to go back to Atlanta, but Maggie wants him to stick around. Candace asks him if he’s too exhausted to meet a nice, hot young man. He says never, and she says she has someone she wants him to meet and suggests they go to Landon’s room.

After the fastest downing of a bottle of wine ever, Justin asks if there’s more. He walks around, making Jeffrey and I anxious, and then tells Jeffrey to come upstairs with him. It’s hard to know which character to hate the most on this show, but he’s way up there.

Quita sees Veronica at the jail and tells her not to go to her house. Veronica doesn’t know who she is, but Quita says get her out, and she’ll tell Veronica everything.

David, who is driving like a maniac, keeps trying to call Veronica. Veronica is picking up her belongings at the jail and sees that he called. Veronica says her wig is missing. The guard says there’s no wig on the list. I’m not sure what the big deal is about Veronica’s hair, since it’s actually a good look. She could probably go bald and she’d look good.

David calls Jennifer. He tells her not to let Veronica go home. Jennifer tells him off, saying he’ll sleep with that whore and not her, and hangs up. Veronica asks Jennifer if she’s playing games with her belongings. Jennifer acts clueless and Veronica says it’s an $8000 wig and she’ll be suing. There are cameras out front, but Jennifer won’t let Veronica leave by the back way.Veronica says she’s going to the bathroom first and will show Jennifer the beauty of a natural Black girl.

Justin points out what a nice bed Candace has. He asks what she does for a living and Jeffrey says she’s in law school and other than that, Justin will have to asks her. He asks why Jeffrey thinks Quita was looking for her brother here. Justin says he ran them and Quita is bad news, but Jeffrey isn’t. He says the DUI is the only time he’s been in trouble. He shakes Jeffrey’s hand, but then pulls him into a headlock. Jeffrey wrestles with him and ends up the victor. Jeffrey asks if Justin is done playing games and lets him up. At first, Justin acts like it’s all fun, but then he draws his gun and says if Jeffrey ever does that again, he’ll blow his brains out.

Commercial break. If Loving You Is Wrong is back on March 15.

Jeffrey asks Justin why, since he enjoyed it. Justin says he’s crazy and Jeffrey says maybe they both are. Justin says don’t do it again, and Jeffrey says sorry, maybe it was he wine talking.

Holy! Veronica takes a strip off her slip (who still wears those?) and makes a fantastic hair-do out of it. She tells the driver to take her around to the back of the jail, that she’s not leaving yet.

Candace tells Landon how great the guy is that she’s setting him up with. The’re barely in the room when there’s a knock at the door. It’s a humongous guy with dreadlocks. Landon says that’s not his type. Next, Erica and another thug come in. Candace tells Landon to pay attention and slaps him. She wants to know where Landon got the phony information he showed her about Oscar.

Landon tries to act like he’s Candace’s friend, but she’s not having any. Thug #1 starts moving around. Candace tells Landon he’s so pretty, but they can mess him up so his own mother doesn’t recognize him. He says Oscar gave him the link and wanted him to show it to her. Candace is like, and you didn’t think anything was weird about that? Landon says he thought Oscar was into her. Candace asks if he knows where Oscar is and Landon says no. Candace tells Erica she knows Landon is telling the truth because he just peed himself. Although how that’s any indication of truthfulness, I have no idea. Before she leaves, Candace asks Landon if he’d like Thug #1 to stay, since she did promise him a date. Landon doesn’t answer, but I assume it’s a no.

Justin, who is getting tedious, asks Jeffrey if he has any questions. Jeffrey says no, but then asks what Justin’s story is and where he gets off abusing his authority. Justin says that’s not what he’s doing. Jeffrey says yes it is and there’s no telling what he would have done if Jeffrey hadn’t stopped him. Justin says that’s not the case and Jeffrey asks why he’s there then. Justin says he thinks something isn’t right and he’s going to find out what it is. Jeffery says what’s not right is him, touching him sexually, keeping him here, and hiding behind his badge. Justin says he hates queers and Jeffery suggests he wants to be punished because he’s closeted.

Justin asks if Jeffrey’s a therapist and Jeffrey suggests that Justin is a control freak. He says Justin doesn’t hate him, he wants him. Justin says Jeffrey is sick. Jeffrey says Justin is sick because he won’t admit he’s gay. Jeffrey asks who told him it was wrong and asks if he was punished for it. Jeffrey asks Justin to leave, and when he won’t, Jeffrey touches him a place we don’t see and says, the body doesn’t lie. He suggests Justin get some therapy.

Hanna checks on Quincy Jr. in the hospital and says she’ll be there soon. Kathryn comes home. She asks what the hell happened to the house and Hanna says her son. Kathryn asks where he is and Hanna says the last time she saw him, he was driving away in a new car.

Hanna asks where she’s been. Kathryn asks if it can wait. Hanna says it’s waited too long already and to have enough respect for her to tell her the truth. She asks if there’s something she wants to tell Hanna about Wyatt. Kathryn says, so you saw the news, like Hanna is some kind of dimwit, since I’m sure the headlines are all over the place. Hanna says Wyatt told her. Kathryn says she’s sorry. Hanna says she told Kathryn that protecting Wyatt wasn’t going to be good and that he’ll have to pay for what he’s done. She asks if it was all worth it. Kathryn says Hanna is her only friend and she doesn’t want to lose her too. Hanna says she doesn’t lie to her friends and when she asked Kathryn about the girl who was killed, she didn’t say anything, Kathryn says that’s because Hanna knew and saw right through all of them. She says if Hanna hadn’t been there when Amanda died, she doesn’t know what she would have done.

Hanna says she once saw her uncle steal a TV and tells a story about lying that has a tragic ending. She says her uncle died for a TV he didn’t steal and now she makes sure she has the facts straight. Hanna says Kathryn covered for Wyatt who killed the girl and hit her son. She thought the reason Kathryn paid the hospital bills was because she cared. Kathryn asks why she was there for her cancer, and Hanna says it’s because she’s a child of God. Kathryn says Hanna has her there. Hanna says Kathryn still won’t tell her the truth. Kathryn says it’s still under investigation. She says if Hanna quits, what will she do without her? She says she doesn’t care about a clean house, but Hanna is her friend. Hanna says she lied and Kathryn says she chose her son. Hanna says right now, she’s choosing hers. Kathryn says Wyatt is in trouble and needs Hanna. Hanna says she can’t put this out there and not reap it back. She asks for her check. Kathryn won’t give it to her. Hanna says she needs the money. Kathryn says she gets paid on the first and if she’s not there, Kathryn will mail the check. Hanna says don’t do this to her and Kathryn says she has work to do. I’ve always liked Kathryn, but not right now.

Next week. Quita tells Veronica about Quincy, Jeffrey tells Candace that Justin knows something and Kathryn tries to get Hanna to stay.

Takeaway point: The problem with the rich is that they can buy anything they want, but have to beg for what they need.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

What would Kim’s tagline be if she were part of the cast this season? I’m going to stop with that thought, since even I can’t be that mean.

LisaR’s daughter, Amelia, needs her tonsils out. They’re discussing the things she can eat when she gets out of the hospital. The doctor calls and they go over the procedure. He says he can show them the tonsils when they’re done. The girls go eww! but Lisa says she might want to take a look.

Yolanda is hosting a dinner at Wally’s. And by that, I’m assuming she doesn’t mean Walmart. David is still acting like he’s a supportive husband, and they’re going to have a surprise guest entertainer. Yolanda says that even if you’re chronically ill, it’s important to participate in life. She’s having the party at a restaurant rather than her home to lighten the load.

The ponies are running about at LisaV’s house. She says pretty soon they’re going to be in her bedroom and she already has one stallion in the bedroom. Ha-ha! Kyle drops by. She doesn’t really feel like going to Yolanda’s party after their last encounter and Yolanda’s email, but she feels like if she doesn’t show up, she’ll make it worse. Kyle decides she’s just going to apologize and tell Yolanda she was having a bad day. Lisa asks if she can include her with that one.

Yolanda tells David she feels out of touch. He pretends to be concerned. In the limo, Kyle tells LisaV that she and Kim are inching their way toward fixing things.

Even though Erika worked until 2 am, she’s there with bells on. Kathryn tells Erica that Kyle is fired up over Yolanda’s email. Just as she starts to talk about LisaV, Lisa, Kyle and Ken come in. Yolanda and David follow. Kyle takes Yolanda aside and asks if they can talk about the email later. Yolanda asks if she and LisaV can have tea. Lisa says sure, but she wants Yolanda to know she’d never talk smack about her kids.

I love, love, love LisaV’s magenta highlights or extensions or whatever.

Eileen arrives and feels trepidation at seeing LisaV again. LisaR comes in with husband Harry Hamlin, who the girls are excited to meet. Kathryn tells LisaR about her boxing session with Erika and how they talked about LisaV. Kathryn says LisaV can be persuasive, but LisaR disagrees.

LisaV asks Erika about the web comment. Erika says she meant that Lisa can be influential and uses it sometimes. Erika wonders why Kathryn and LisaV would both ask how long she’s known Yolanda back to back. This actually seems like a normal question you would asks someone you just met, so I’m not getting this. LisaV, reading my mind, says almost the same thing, but Erika says it is a normal question, but she thinks Lisa has other motives in asking. She says she feels like LisaV is trying to discredit her friendship with Yolanda and in her individual interview, says that for some reason Lisa doesn’t like her and Yolanda together. She says her gut tells her Lisa is not her friend.

Eileen sent Kim a birthday text and LisaR asks if it would be weird if she did. The general consensus is yes. Lisa wonders how Harry puts up with her.

Erika confronts Kathryn about repeating what she said to LisaV. Erika says she thought they’d spoken in confidence, so thanks a lot. Kathryn says she wasn’t specific in saying it was just between them. Hmm…. I don’t expect my friends to repeat things that I obviously wouldn’t want repeated. I like Kathryn and I think Erika is wrong about LisaV, but Kathryn is also a big mouth. Once again under the Wives guise of honesty.

LisaR says she thinks Eileen is mad at her. Eileen says she’s not mad, but she doesn’t think it’s nice to question Erika when she knows LisaV can be manipulative. LisaR says she really likes LisaV, but feels loyal to Eileen, so she’s torn.

David invites them into another room. Kyle says David’s surprises are always amazing and for all she knows, he brought Elvis back from the dead. Nope. It’s Andrea Bocelli. I think I have a CD of his somewhere that someone gave to me. He sings Ave Maria, it’s fabulous and everyone is enthralled. Kyle takes this as a sign from her mother that she should check on her sister.

LisaR drives her daughter to the hospital. Amelia is concerned about having IVs in her arm and Lisa says she’s probably more worried than Amelia. She calls Harry from the hospital. Lisa says she’s a worrywart by heart and will create a problem if there isn’t one. My father always said that when there was nothing to worry about, my grandfather would worry about that, so I get this. She says the wait is excruciating. Amelia’s doctor comes out to tell her everything went fine. In today’s hospital here’s-your-hat-what’s-your-hurry fashion, Amelia will be sprung shortly.

Kyle is cooking with her daughter Portia. Even though she’s only 7, Kyle tells Portia that some children live at home until they’re married. Wise at a young age, Portia responds with, “Lovely.” Mauricio comes home and one of the dogs steals a baked potato from the table. Kyle says she can’t count the times Bambi has stolen food.

Kyle has been dabbling in ancestry and she would love to go to Ireland. She also says that she met with Kim and Kim seemed like her old self. I’m not sure how these two things connect. Either because they’re family oriented or she’s thinking of going to Ireland with Kim.We see Bambi swiping something else from the kitchen.

Yolanda, Kathryn and Erika meet in the park for a take-out picnic. They talk about Bocelli. Eileen says the evening was a little weird, and tells them how Kathryn had told everyone what Erika said. Yolanda says that wasn’t cool and Kathryn possibly burned some bridges.

Mohammed comes by LisaV’s massive property. Giggy! He has a little house for the ponies and jokes that it‘s for Ken. Lisa thinks maybe her friendship with Mohammed colors her relationship with Yolanda, and between them, her loyalties would lie with Mohammed.

Eileen says she’s had issues with LisaV lately and feels everyone acts like the issues are resolved, but they just sit there. Yolanda says on a personal level, she and Lisa have never gotten intimate, but that’s okay. Eileen says she likes Lisa, but they’re not the friends she thought they would be. She also thinks LisaR’s reaction to the LisaV smack talk was over the top. What I think is that everyone always says they want to move on, but then they have a hard time letting go.

Kathryn is meeting her sisters for lunch. She has three sisters and says all of them were unplanned. Their mother is in the early stages of dementia and they discuss that.

Kim visits Kyle. Kyle says it’s easy for Kim to pretend things didn’t happen, but not so much for her. They talk about Kim’s birthday. In her individual interview, Kim says she doesn’t want to discard what happened, but wants to have a fresh conversation. Kyle asks why Brandi has to send out a picture to social media every time she and Kim are together. Because she’s a self-centered, thoughtless drunk, that’s why.

Kim says bringing up past things can be detrimental. We see a flashback of the infamous limo scene where Kyle first calls Kim an alcoholic, which Bravo will never, ever let us forget. Kim says if it’s going to affect heir lives, they need to talk about it, but not in public and not at the top of their lungs. Kim says not talking to Kyle was hard.

Erika tells everyone all about how LisaV feels about herself, even though she doesn’t really know her. To be honest, and even though she can do no wrong, I do think Lisa has a hard time apologizing. But I also think this stuff is extremely petty and considering what a good friend she is otherwise, I’d let it slide.

Kyle says she feels like Kim hates her. Kim says she loves her with all her heart, but she does have feelings of resentment. Kyle says every time there’s an altercation, the silence between them gets longer. In her individual interview, Kyle says as much as she hates to say it, a lot depends on Kim’s sobriety.

Next week, the ladies take on Habitat for Humanity, LisaV confronts Erika again about the web comments, and Erika’s husband orders Kathryn to leave (or at least that’s the impression we get from the preview).

February 23, 2016 — GH, Haves & Nots & Haves

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Lulu is handcuffed with duct tape over her mouth. Raj says she shouldn’t have been there.

Kiki tells Michael about the message Morgan left, including the change in time for the arms shipment. Michael says he’ll handle it. Anna says Morgan is going to walk right into the gun deal.

Morgan says Dixon is disrespecting Sonny in running arms through his territory and if he doesn’t throw his gun into the water, Morgan is going to shoot.

Since Kiki is really, really stupid, she leaves for the pier.

The minister reads 1 Corinthians 13 because it’s a requirement.

Carly wants to get Morgan out of there

Jordan asks Dante where things stand between him and Lulu. He says they’re talking, so he’s wondering why she’s ignoring his texts. Jordan tells him to give Lulu some room.

Raj tells Lulu about the text. He throws her phone into the water. He says he has work to do and looks through the binoculars to the pier.

Paul tells Morgan to cool his jets. All the guns go into the water. Paul says he doesn’t have a gun and Morgan says he doesn’t believe it. He tells one of the thugs to open a crate. Yep, it’s weapons. Dixon tells Morgan he should call his father because he’s 3 seconds away from starting a war. Someone moves and Morgan shoots.

The minister reads the whatever it is that makes you man and wife. Weren’t they writing — oh, okay, usually they do that before the I do’s — Alexis and Julian read their own vows. Alexis says that Julian has made her think all things are possible and that she found the life partner she never knew she needed. Julian says that when he found Alexis, he realized what he truly wanted and he’ll spend the rest of his life doing whatever he can to make her happy. Obviously, I’m paraphrasing.

Anna is calling her lead agent, while Carly and Michael try to explain Morgan’s illness and that they need to go to the pier. They rush out the door, leaving Anna still on the phone.

Jordan tells Dante someone walking their dog heard shots fired at the pier and everyone tears out of the station.

Raj complains about something always going wrong and I identify. He says the cops will be there any minute. He says he has to go and so does Lulu. I’m not sure why he doesn’t just leave her there. It’s not like she even knows who he really is.

Morgan tells everyone not to move. Paul says someone heard the shot and how is he going to make the cops believe Sonny isn’t culpable? Paul tells him to leave before something happens he can’t take back. Morgan says he’s the king of the world and can do anything.

Commercial break. I try to calm down from a plumbing problem I just had a half hour before the show where I couldn’t get the water in the upstairs sink to shut off.

Dixon and one of the thugs rush Morgan and Dixon gets his gun. Dixon says give him a good reason not to put a bullet in Morgan’s head and I can’t come up with one.

The happy couple are about to exchange rings, but Lucas can’t find them.Franco suggests to Nina that Sonny paid someone off to hide them. Molly tells Lucas to check his inside breast pocket and voila! Rings. Brad says it’s bad luck for a wedding to go off without a hitch. Maybe this explains my life. My wedding was relatively trouble-free, except for a friend’s date who tried to keep up with my husband’s friends in the drinking department, and ended up sick in the bathroom for half the night. Ava wonders where Kiki is. The rings are finally exchanged. Applause.

Lulu struggles with Raj who throws her over the side of the boat. Um, her hands are free. Won’t she be able to swim?

Dixon says Morgan is going to pay for messing things up. Morgan says go ahead and shoot him.Dixon say Morgan is trouble he didn’t need. Paul tells him it will just make things worse and there will be huge problems with Sonny if Dixon shoots Morgan. Paul says this is not what he signed up for and that Morgan is crazy. That makes Morgan go crazy.

No surprise, Kiki comes running into the mix. Dixon shoots. Who, we won’t know until after the commercial. I’m guessing Kiki, who should never have gotten involved with Morgan again.

Yep, I’m right. I ain’t been watching this 50 years for nothing. Anna and the Feds show up and tell everyone to get on the ground. An agent tells Morgan to get away from Kiki so he can see his hands. Carly and Michael show up.

Lulu gets to the surface and gets the tape off of her mouth.

The minister says no applause until he actually makes the pronouncement. He does, they kiss, and more applause. Lots of comments among the guests.

Dixon comes running into the church with a gun. He says nobody move. He puts the gun on Sonny and Sonny tells him he has one chance to live. He tells Dixon to put the gun down and get out. Man, he’s got some confidence.

Commercial break. I ponder what a freaking jerk Morgan is.

Dixon tells Sonny it was his kid who caused the trouble. Sonny says the last place Dixon should have come to was the church. Dixon is like, Morgan is a nut and what’s Sonny going to do in a wheelchair. Dixon tells Ava since the shipment was going to her gallery and she’s going to help him now. He tells her that Paul was working for the Feds and asks if she was in on it, or was Paul screwing her too. Well…..

Carly tends to Kiki an they call for an ambulance. Anna asks Paul what went wrong. He says everything starting with lunatic Morgan. Paul tells Anna the details of what happened. He says they had Morgan subdued, but something Morgan said set Dixon off and he ended up shooting Kiki instead of Morgan.

Jordan arrives with more cops. Anna gets on the phone. Carly says Kiki needs medical attention now.

Dante goes to The Haunted Star. Lulu is gasping for air in the water, as he calls her name. I guess she must be weighted down somehow. She tries getting his attention, but he can’t hear her. Instead of trying to form a sentence, maybe she should just yell.

Dixon says if anyone leaves their seat, they’ll be shot. He asks whose idea it was to have a wedding the night of the shipment, and starts talking like he’s crazier than Morgan, having everyone introduce themselves. He says no one will have a better name that Bradley Cooper and they can skip the others. Franco says how disappointed he is and how he’s so unpopular. He says he’s taken hostages in his day and Dixon is going about it all wrong. He suggests Dixon only keep one hostage. First, he suggests Sonny because he’s a lowlife, but he’s in a wheelchair which is problematic, so maybe Julian, since it’s his fault they’re all there. Alexis says why doesn’t he volunteer, but Franco says he’s the worst hostage ever. Dixon tells him nice effort.

Dixon has Brad collect the cell phones and it reminds me of the time Todd held everyone hostage with a fake bomb on One Life to Live. Dixon asks the minister how he gets out of there. The minister explains the layout of the church, for so long that I’m wondering if it’s the Vatican. Everyone whispers among themselves.

Jordan says no one told her about anything. Anna runs to Kiki. Paul tells Jordan to get Morgan out of there and take him to the station for questioning. Morgan doesn’t want to go and Jordan tells Michael to deal with him. Michael tells Morgan he can’t help Kiki by arguing with the police and they’ll do this together. Anna calls for paramedics again.

Brad collects the phones. Dixon wants a show of hands to make sure no one is armed. Sonny tells him to relax and think of a plan. Dixon says who needs it with all the hostages. Sonny says maybe Franco was right, he is wealthy with resources. He says one phone call he’ll have a car with clean plates and two million dollars. Sonny tells him they don’t have much time and if the cops get there, time’s up. Nathan — for whatever reason, since Sonny was doing really well there — decides to jump up. Dixon shoots him.

Lulu manages to call for Dante, but he’s wandering around the boat. He keeps calling for her. She starts to sink, and their relationship flashbacks through her mind.

Morgan is going apesh*t at the station, rambling on about taking his dad’s gun. Jordan says if he doesn’t calm down, she’s going to arrest him. Michael says Morgan isn’t talking without a lawyer. Morgan gets crazier and Jordan reads him his rights.

At the pier, the Feds take stock of the shipment, but they realize Dixon is gone.

Lucas says he can help, but Dixon says the rules haven’t changed and to sit down. Maxie says he’ll have to shoot her too and please let her help. Dixon says he’s a sucker for a pretty face, and she asked nice, so okay. He says anyone who moves gets shot. Then he says maybe he should just shoot Sonny right now.

Tomorrow, Anna tells Paul the sting was a disaster (like he doesn’t know), Ava volunteers to be a hostage, and Maxie says she can’t stop Nathan’s bleeding.

The Haves and The Have Nots

Candace is beating the crap out of the social worker, Aliyah. Candace asks if she’s going to talk now. Aliyah says okay, but she doesn’t know where Oscar is. Candace asks how she was paid. Aliyah says in cash. $25,000. Whoa. Aliyah says Oscar said he’d pay her if a judge needed to see that Candace had money in the bank. Candace asks where the cash is and Aliyah says she spent all of it. Another whoa. Aliyah asks Candace not to say anything because she could lose her job, adding she won’t go to the police. Candace says she could lose her life if she doesn’t come up with the 25K. Aliyah says she’ll go to her credit union. Candace tells her she wants 100K then, and her son. She wants a recommendation that she get custody and gives Aliyah six hours.

Candace tells her to find out where Oscar is too, or she’ll be sorry. Man, this chick has some cojones. After Aliyah leaves, Wendy says they might not find Oscar, so she hopes Candace is thinking about plan B.

Oscar goes to David’s office. The only thing he’s come up with on Veronica so far is the name of the photographer Maggie hired to take the picture of Veronica and Benny. He says the affair started when Veronica got Benny out of jail. He asks that David not give up the photographer’s name because he wants to continue their business relationship. David thanks him and Oscar says he’ll keep David posted.

Kathryn arrives next. She tells David that the DA let her out, but Jennifer refuses to release Jim and Veronica. Kathryn’s cell phone rings. It’s Lloyd from the bank. She says she’ll call back when she has time. David says he’s working on something to get Jim and Veronica out. Kathryn doesn’t believe him because she spoke to Judge Carter who told her David isn’t getting Veronica out. He says she’s safer in jail. Kathryn says he needs to put on his big boy pants and deal. He says it’s not about the affair, and Kathryn doesn’t have the whole picture.

He asks where Veronica lives. Kathryn says she doesn’t know, but what does that have to do with getting her out of jail? Then she asks how David got out. He says Maggie called in favors. Kathryn asks why she didn’t call in favors for the others, and Maggie, standing behind her, says she didn’t want to. She tells Kathryn she needs to put some distance between herself and Jim. Kathryn says if no one will help Jim, she will. Maggie says that’s not wise. Kathryn says it’s not wise for anyone to underestimate her power.

When Kathryn is gone, David tells Maggie she shouldn’t have lied to him about the photos and leaves her standing in his office by herself.

DA Jennifer calls bank guy Lloyd. He says he got her emails, faxes and court order this morning. She asks why he hasn’t responded. She says she knows he does a lot of business with the Cryers and doesn’t want to upset that, but the court order was signed by a judge. He says he knows the family and something isn’t right here. Jennifer mentions the court order again and tells him that when Wyatt comes in he’d better hand over the funds. If he calls Kathryn or tries to interfere in any way, she’ll consider it attempting to tamper with the safety of a witness.

Candace tells Wendy that she had it all, she had money and was going to take the bar, and Jim took everything. She says maybe her mother is right. She says she’s been in deep with people who had everything to lose, now she’s in deep with someone who has nothing to lose — Warlock.

Wendy says she hopes Candace didn’t cross him. Candace says she just didn’t tell him everything. Wendy tells her to remember a couple of other girls who crossed him and please say she has a plan. Candace says the only plan is to find Oscar. Wendy says she has to tell Benny. Candace says she can’t, and hopefully the money from Aliyah will be enough to buy her time. Wendy says that girl isn’t going to come up with the money.

Candace says maybe she can mortgage her place. Wendy says Benny will help if she tells truth. Candace says if Benny finds out Warlock is shaking her down, he’ll go crazy. She wonders why she puts herself in these situations. She says again maybe her mother was right. Wendy says stop saying that because that would mean her preacher father is right. Candace says let’s do what we do. Wendy tells her she’d better tell Benny about mortgaging the house.

Kathryn is at he jail with a lawyer. Veronica comes in and makes me laugh, saying she thought Kathryn would have changed clothes by now. Jim comes in too, and Kathryn says no one will help them. The lawyer says they should see the press. Veronica says they have Maggie to thank for that. Jim asks how bad it is and the lawyer says pretty bad.

Veronica asks if David is trying to get her out. Kathryn says no and Veronica asks why not. Jim asks her if she saw the paper and that he’d leave her rot. I note that Jim realistically looks like he hasn’t shaved in a while. Jim tells Kathryn to tell Veronica the truth. At first Kathryn says David is working on it, but then she admits David isn’t going to help her.

Veronica tells Jim to keep enjoying this. He says he will, but she has no idea how much he’d like her to get out. The lawyer says he’s sure he can get both of them bail. Veronica says she’s going to represent herself. The lawyer tells her that’s a bad idea, but she brings up how many times she’s beat him in court and says she’ll get herself out.

Wyatt comes to the DA’s office. Jennifer tells him his mother is out of jail and his father is having a bail hearing, but he won’t be released . Jennifer gives him paperwork and says she called the bank. She says if Lloyd won’t give Wyatt his inheritance, he’ll go to jail. Wyatt asks what happens if his mother shows up. Jennifer says that’s why she called the bail hearing for today. Man, this is about the most corrupt town ever. She tells Wyatt she’s counting on him. He says he’ll be there. She asks him to please get out of the Cryer house. I hate this woman.

Hanna is sitting in the Cryer’s kitchen when David walks in. He asks what happened and Hanna says Wyatt happened. He asks if she’s going to clean it up and she says no. He says he just came from her house and he’s sorry. She says she bets he is.

He asks if she’s aware of what happened. She says Wyatt hit her son and the little girl and they covered it up. He says she doens’t know the whole story. He says the Cryers might not be home for a while. She says she needs her check and asks why he’s there. He says he was hoping to speak with her about her son.

David asks if Veronica was with Benny the night Benny borrowed his truck. Hanna says she’s had it with all their bs. He says Veronica is a conniver. He doesn’t want Benny caught up in her games and he’s trying to protect him. She asks how, and he says the only way he can answer is for her to tell him all she knows . She says she knows he thinks she’s just an ignorant maid and that he wants her to tell him things he can use against Benny. She says she doesn’t trust him, doesn’t like him and he’s a liar. She says she has nothing else to say. She’s going to sit and wait for her check, and if he wants to know anything, he should ask her son directly. He says he already did and Benny told him to ask his wife. Hanna says she raised him better than that, and Benny should have said ask his triflin’ ass wife. Bye, David. Nice scene.

David calls Oscar (or whatever his name really is). He asks for contacts to reroute phone calls.

While staying at a hotel, Wyatt is picking out a place to live. He’s looking on the realtor’s laptop and chooses a 3 million dollar property. He tells the realtor he wants to close as quickly as possible. The realtor says he’ll get the owner to lease the place to him until the closing. Wyatt says get some chicks over too. The dude says how about some blow too and pulls out a humongous bag of cocaine. One stop shopping!

Jennifer says the people ask for no bail. Jim’s lawyer says that’s ridiculous, he’s been a model citizen. Jennifer says he covered up a murder and has access to private jets. The judge says no bail. Jim basically curses him out and the judge says he’ll hold him in contempt. Jim says who cares since he’s in jail anyway. The judge gives him an extra 30 days. Bail fail.

The DA requests no bail for Veronica too. Veronica says it was a matter of client attorney privilege because she was Jeffrey’s counsel. Jennifer says Jeffrey will testify that she’s not his lawyer The judge says that’s for the trial and releases Veronica.

Benny comes to the tow yard office. Suddenly, they have no tows. Mitch says the phones aren’t working and what’s going on? Benny says he doesn’t know .Mitch says ever since David came in, they haven’t had any business. Benny says that’s got nothing to do with it and Mitch says if he says so. Benny tries calling the office from his cell phone, but the phone doesn’t ring.

Candace calls Landon. She asks to meet him later. He hears idiot Maggie crying in her office and gives her a box of tissues. Maggie says he was right and she shouldn’t have done this. David says no she shouldn’t have from where he suddenly appears in the doorway.

Benny comes in behind David and David says oh, Benny decided to see him after all. Benny says says David decided to do something to his phones. David says he needs to know what Benny had going with his wife. Benny says he wants his phones back and it was nothing with Veronica. David says to tell him everything or he’ll never get his phones back. They start to tussle and Landon comes in saying Veronica is out of jail and David Dashes out the door.

Next week, Quita is still looking for Quincy, Candace sets up Landon, and Veronica is on the loose.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Mauricio and his agency are partnering with Soulcycle for a Habitat for Humanity charity event. Kyle, LisaV, Kathryn and Erika attend. Lisa asks if she heard they’re supposed to bike for 4 to 5 minutes or 45 minutes. She says she hasn’t spent 45 minutes straddling anything since 1984. She isn’t thrilled with spinning.

The instructor is all zen and tells everyone to go at their own pace, no pressure. This looks like fun, but I’d probably poop out after 5 minutes myself. He turns into an evangelist when he asks if everyone is a believer. Lisa is wearing pink patent pumps. Say that three times real fast. The event is a success.

The girls go to lunch afterward. They wonder what’s up with Yolands, and Kyle says they she and Eileen didn’t leave things on a positive note. Eileen joins them and they talk about Eileen’s soap job. Lisa asks about the love scenes and if they’re fun. Eileen says it’s more technical than anything else.

Yolanda joins them. She brought pink flowers for Lisa’s birthday. Yolanda asks how the spin thing went and Lisa tells her be glad she wasn’t there. The girls compare muscles.

Yolanda is hosting a dinner party at a restaurant. They talk about LisaR’s husband being in Mad Men and it getting nominated for an Emmy. Kyle asks Yolanda how things are between her and Lisa and she says fine. Kyle thinks everyone always sweeps everything under the rug. She and LisaV start talking about some conversation after Yolanda left.

Eileen asks what they’re talking about. Erika says something about LisaR saying that Yolanda said she was bi-polar. Yolanda says she only said she could say that and Kyle says that’s no different than what Lisa said about Munchausens. Yolanda gets annoyed for Kyle bringing it up, when she’s the one who horned in on a private conversation. Yolanda says they were being rude and whispering. Yolanda says she and LisaR worked things out. Kyle says fine, it’s none of her business and Yolanda says then mind your own business. Kyle tells Yolanda to give her an f-ing break and I second that. This is really stupid.

LisaR is on Jenny McCarthy’s Sirius Radio show, Dirty, Sexy, Funny. Lisa says Jenny is a girl’s girl and I agree. Lisa says it’s part of her job to stay relevant. They talk about Lisa and Harry’s sex life. Lisa says her mother told her that one day her mouth would get into trouble, but she makes a lot of money from it. I love how honest Lisa is about her hustle.

Yolanda is going on about Kyle talking about LisaR without her being there. Shut up already. Kyle says she’s friends with Lisa. In her individual interview, Yolanda says yeah, when it’s convenient. Yolanda tells Kyle to drop it. She adds that she keeps a lot in the vault, whatever that means. Kyle asks if that’s some kind of threat. LisaV says Yolanda shouldn’t have put it out there that she could call LisaR bi-polar. Yolanda says same with LisaR talking about Munchausens. I’m so startled she pronounced it right, I miss what’s next. Yolanda is suddenly all over LisaV, saying she talked smack about Yolanda’s kids. Lisa says that’s not what happened. Lisa finally has enough of this nonsense. She says she has to do something and leaves.

Kathryn and Erika are having lunch at Erika’s. Kathryn says she wants to be friends, but she needs to know what Erika is about. She says Erika is closed off. Erika says she’s never been liked by girls and was hurt at an early age by girlfriends, so she’s never had a crew. She doesn’t really trust anyone. She says Yolanda is her go-to guy, but she’s a girl.

Erika says her grandmother was the closest female to her, but she passed away. Kathryn volunteers to be her friend and says she’ll have her back. Erika asks what Kathryn thinks of LisaV.

LisaR comes by Kyle’s house. I’m tired of seeing everyone in black. Kyle got an email from Yolanda, scolding her, and it was cc’d to the rest of the ladies. Kyle says she doesn’t know what’s up since she thought they were cool.

Yolanda says she wasn’t able to say what she needed to at the lunch, so she got up in the middle of the night and composed this email. In the email, Yolanda goes blah-blah-blah about how she wanted to have fun at the lunch and Kyle ruined things. LisaR says it’s passive aggression at it’s finest. It’s kind of cool how it’s read, with each of them reading a part of it in succession. Kyle tells LisaR about the vault thing, and LisaR says it’s about keeping secrets to use as ammunition.

This is interspersed with LisaV telling Ken about the lunch and the email. She says she’s got a lot of sympathy for Yolanda, but she has to run because she’s having the ladies over to the house. LisaR can’t make it because she’s going to the Emmys or something.

Erika and Kathryn discuss LisaV. Kathryn thinks she’s sweet. Erika says she’s sweet, but she thinks Lisa “engages from the side, is a sniper from the side and doesn’t want to leave fingerprints.” I like Lisa and wish she would adopt me, so this irritates me a little. Erika says she thinks Lisa is selectively honest and likes to move things to her advantage.

Lisa is in her pool. floating around on a pink flamingo floatie while having a cup of tea. Eileen shows up first and says it’s like Noah’s Ark with all the animals. Lisa has things set up in a private area on the property. Her place is so amazing. Honestly, Lisa, I wouldn’t be any trouble at all. You’d never even know I was there.

Lisa brings out her new puppy and everyone squees. They sit down to lunch. She tells Ken to call the ponies and everyone chimes in with calling various animals and it’s pretty funny. Kyle says the email from Yolanda was awkward. Kathryn says Yolanda was just collecting her thoughts, but Kyle says she was basically reprimanded in front of everyone. Kathryn says it pulls everyone in whether they want to be in or not.

Kyle says she understands Yolanda is sick. They talk about how LisaV didn’t say anything bad about the kids and Kyle backs that up, prompting Lisa to both be startled and thank her. They move on to Kathryn having a boxing class with Erika’s trainers. She says afterwards, they discussed LisaV.

Kathryn says the started off talking about her grandmother and it’s obviously Erika’s soft spot, but she sucked it back in. She says then they talked about LisaV and Erika said not to get caught in her web. Lisa is a little taken aback. She says she doesn’t have time to go to the bathroom much less spin a web. Eileen can’t believe that Kathryn repeated what Erika said. Eileen seems to think it has something to do with Lisa’s apology to Eileen in the Hamptons and how Lisa didn’t really seem to understand where she was coming from. How did this turn into something about her?

Eileen says Lisa has a habit of minimizing and it felt like she dismissed Eileen without a resolution and maybe Yolanda feels that way. Lisa says she needs to work on that, and Eileen thinks she’s being dismissive again. She says she thinks Lisa feels like she’s being attacked. Kyle says everyone is different in the way they need to hear an apology. This is actually pretty astute of Kyle. Eileen doesn’t seem to want to let it go and Lisa says she’s truly sorry. Eileen says they’re good and Lisa says how good because she needs to be really good to move on.

Eileen says they’re fine, but she thinks they’ll never understand the situation the same way. In her individual interview, Lisa says Eileen is emotional and maybe they’re built differently. I totally agree with this. I think Lisa is just British and they do have a different way of expressing their emotions, mostly not at all. Lisa says she doesn’t like to be petty and Eileen says but it’s people’s feelings and therefore important. Lisa says okay, she’s wrong again. Eileen tells her she doesn’t have to play the victim and Lisa asks if anybody wants more wine. I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad idea.

Next time, Harry Hamlin meets the girls, a trip to Dubai is in the works, and Kim and Brandi make appearances.

February 16, 2016 — GH, Having & Not, & a Carnival

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Kiki asks Franco for advice, asking how unusual ED is.

Morgan is slinging coffee bags at the warehouse while listening to his iPod. Christina startles him. She asks why he smells like a distillery.

Anna sees Ava at the bar. For the love of all that’s holy, is this the only set they can afford? She wants to talk to Ava, but Dillon interrupts.

Alexis asks Sam who’s going to take care of her now that she’s out of the hospital and Sam tells her Jason is doing just fine in that department.

Monica says that because Jake is still young and growing, he should heal nicely, but she also thinks he’d be better served somewhere other than GH. Yeah, like that place in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.

Sonny is meeting with Griffin, who says they have a problem. He asks if he should call Sonny “Godfather.” Nothing like getting to the point, but also nothing like being so far out of the loop that you’re in another stratosphere.

Tracy tells Paul to get out. She says unless he’s there on official business, he’s trespassing. She says they have nothing to discuss, but he says they have a son and he needs her help with Dillon.

Ava goes to sit down. Dillon tells Anna he’s doing a photo shoot for Crimson. He says the woman he was supposed to take photos of today bailed, and asks Anna if she would substitute.

Franco says that probably the meds are causing Morgan’s problem. Kiki says Morgan said the same thing. Franco says there are only two types of guys, guys that happens to and guys who say it never happens to them. Ha-ha! I love when Sonny makes a joke. He says that everything will work out eventually.

Christina asks Morgan if Sonny is around. She wants to know if he’s going to Alexis’s wedding. Morgan says that’s highly doubtful. Christina says she was going to get them pasta maker as a wedding gift, but she’d prefer a truce.

Monica thinks the Shriners hospital in Philadelphia would be their best bet. Elizabeth and Jason agree with her recommendation. I guess they’re promoting Shriners hospitals today, because Monica says the name like a thousand times.

Griffin says for all he knows, Sonny is running marathons at night. He says he’s not obligated to treat him for a condition he no longer has and he doesn’t want to lie for him.

Paul tells Tracy that Dillon has severed ties with him and that he needs a father. Tracy tells him that Dillon needed a father years ago, and not an attempt later to assuage his guilt. She says it’s not her job to plead his case with her son and the less Dillon has to do with him, the better.

Anna is flattered, but says she’s not a model. Dillon says that the issue is about real women. He says he’s been shooting the subjects in their own environment, and thinks the PCPD would be perfect.

Franco tells Kiki that Morgan must be feeling down, no pun intended…I think. He tells her that a temporary condition should have no bearing on a long term relationship. Kiki says what if it’s not the meds, and Morgan just isn’t interested in her anymore?

Morgan tells Christina if she understood the business, she’d know what she’s asking is next to impossible. He’s acting kind of manic and Christina asks if he’s taking his meds. The eternal question. He says he’s an important part of their father’s business now. Christina is like, if you say so, and tells him to watch the whiskey shots.

Christina leaves and Darby pops out of the woodwork.

Sam tells Alexis she doesn’t have to look backward any more, and that she and Jason have changed, but in a lot of ways they’re still the same. She says they can talk about everything and nothing and she can’t wait to see what happens next. She asks if she can bring him to the wedding.

Jason tells Carly about taking Jake to Shriners. Carly and Monica play up how great a place it is. Elizabeth says she’ll meet Jason later after she gets the boys set up with a sitter. Monica leaves to arrange transportation. Carly asks Jason how he’s doing and says whatever he needs to just ask. He asks her to keep an eye on Sam

Griffin tells Sonny that he doesn’t need a neurosurgeon, he needs a collaborator, and he doesn’t want to help Sonny promote his business. Sonny says he’ll find a new doctor then.

Paul says it’s not fair for Tracy to feed into Dillon’s problem with him. Tracy says it was all Dillon’s idea, whether Paul wanting to be his father is too little too late or not.

Dillon sets up his equipment in the interrogation room. Anna tries to get information about Paul from him while they work. Dillon tells Anna about how Paul led Tracy on. Anna tells him about how she talked to Paul after their confrontation. She says she thinks Paul feels badly about not being the father Dillon and his sister. She asks if Susan feels the same way. He says they emailed for a while when he was younger, but it stopped. He wishes he could be like Susan and walk away from the whole thing.

Franco leaves and Ava is standing there. Kiki asks how much Ava heard. Ava says it’s none of her business what Kiki and Franco talk about. Kiki asks why Ava is being so nice after what happened with Avery. Ava says it’s water under the bridge and she’s come in peace bearing clothing. She’s brought a dress for Kiki to wear at Julian’s wedding.

Darby says she got Morgan’s text and here she is. She asks him what he wants to do. Stop irritating me, for one.

Alexis says it would be better to let Jason and Julian acclimate on their own, but Julian is going to have to get used to things, so bring him anyway. Sam says maybe she’s right and it would distract Julian to see him on his big day.

Jason tells Carly about how he was with Sam when the call came about Jake. He says he knows she’s a tough chick, but wants Carly to look in on her while he’s gone.

Sonny accuses Griffin of being judgmental.

Commercial break. Yep. Shriners hospital is looking for donations. It is nice of GH to promote them, as they function like St. Jude’s, taking care of very ill children at no expense to the parents.

Dillon says Susan used to send him Christmas cards but not any more. Anna asks if she lives abroad like Dillon had. He says at one point she lived off the coast of Maine and opened a shop called Suki’s, but he hadn’t heard from her since then. Anna says maybe something happened like bad relationship. I’m not sure why she would think that. Dillon asks Anna if she’s interrogating him.

Tracy spaces out during her conversation with Paul.

Kiki asks what the catch is. Ava says she wants them to move on. Kiki says that would be the mature thing and Ava says they’ll have to wing it then. Ava says she wants to get past the Avery thing because she loves Kiki. I want to see the dress already, so I can be the judge of this. Ava asks Kiki to take care of Avery if anything happens to her.

Griffin says it’s not up to him to judge Sonny — only God can do that — but he’s not going to be used. Sonny says he thought Griffin was a good guy. Griffin says he is and he thinks deep down Sonny is too, but he’s going to refer him to another doctor. Sonny says he can give Griffin his word that he won’t have to lie and it will be over soon. Griffin says he hopes that doesn’t mean something bad is going to happen. Carly peeks in the door and asks if she can come in.

Elizabeth fills Franco in on what’s happening with Jake. She says Franco has been surprisingly supportive.

Christina arrives at Sam’s place. She’s all excited about Sam and Jason, but Sam says don’t rush things. The bell rings and Christina says it’s probably Molly who’s supposed to meet her there, but it’s Jason.

Anna says it’s occupational hazard, and even normal curiosity turns into third degree for her. Dillon says he was just kidding, but it helped get fabulous pictures. He says he knows Nina will love them. Before he leaves, Anna says she hopes he finds a way to reconnect with his sister because family relationships are important. He says he hasn’t heard from Susan in 6 years. Anna asks if he knows why she chose the name Suki’s for her shop, which would totally make me wonder why she’s asking such a weird question. Dillon says he’s not sure, but he thinks it was a nickname Paul gave her as a child. He adds that Anna should consider interrogation for a living since she’s good at it.

Suddenly, Tracy asks where she and Paul were in the conversation. Paul says they were discussing Dillon. Tracy says she’s not going to help Paul and tells him to go. Paul says he’s not a bad man and still loves the child they created He leaves and Tracy wonders what’s happening to her.

Kiki asks if the cancer is back. Ava says no, and Kiki asks if it’s the business and if someone has threatened her. Ava says it’s nothing specific. Kiki says she knows they’ve had their differences, but Ava is still her mother. Ava says sometimes risky things cross her path and she’d feel better if she knew Kiki would take care of Avery. She asks if Kiki is bringing a date to the wedding and Kiki says she’s bringing Morgan.

Darby and Morgan are about to get busy, when Darby asks what about Kiki, so I have to give her half a point for that.

Griffin says he’s going to give Sonny some recommendations for treatment. Sonny and Carly leave.

Elizabeth tells Cameron and Aidan about Jake going to Philadelphia. She says they’ll be going to grandma’s until she gets back. She says when she does, she’ll need their help in finding a new house.

Alexis and Christina leave. Sam apologizes for their antics, since they were making amusing remarks about her and Jason. Jason tells Sam about taking Jake to the Shriners hospital.

Tracy is on the laptop, most likely looking up her symptoms on WebMD, when Dillon comes in. She says it’s been quiet and there’s no new news.

Anna is talking to Mac on her cell phone, and telling him to check an island off the coast of Maine for Susan. Suddenly, Paul is standing there.

Ava calls Paul and leaves a message that Morgan isn’t a threat any more because he’ll be at the wedding. I guess that’s when the arms shipment is coming in.

Kiki catches Morgan and Darby going at it.

Carly says that when she came in, Sonny looked like he was trying to get his way and wasn’t sure if he was going to get it. Sonny asks if she’ll be his date to the wedding. She says they weren’t invited, and he tells her about Christina wanting the truce and that he said he’d think about it. Carly says she’ll go if he wants her to, but adds that Alexis looked down on her relationship with Sonny for years and thinks that just because Julian turned his life around, it’s okay for her to forget he was also a mobster and responsible for Duke’s death. She says Alexis is a hypocrite. Sonny says maybe he shouldn’t take the chance that Carly will say something because he doesn’t want anything unpleasant to happen at the wedding. His face reminds me of Walder Frey planning The Red Wedding on Game of Thrones, and I go, hmm…

Franco tells Elizabeth how great she is with the boys. Elizabeth says she doesn’t know how she’s going to keep it together. Franco says she’ll be fine and he asks if he can text her once in a while about Jake. She says sure.

Jason doesn’t know how long he’ll be. Sam tells him to take whatever time it needs. She says she’s feeling pretty good and she’s gearing up for the wedding. They make out like crazy.

Tomorrow, Morgan (who is getting to be a walking cliche) tells Kiki it’s not what it looks like, Nathan tells Dante he thinks Lulu is at The Haunted Star, and Michael tells Sonny that he’s going to get Avery back.

The Haves and The Have Nots

Maggie tells David there’s something wrong with him hanging on to an insane woman. He says it’s not that simple, that he and Veronica built a lot during their good years together. Maggie tells David she can make him forget and asks him what he wants. He says he wants the woman he married. Maggie says she’s moved on. David tells Maggie she’s right and gathers his clothing up. She apologizes, but he says he’s leaving anyway.

David is mighty pissed about the newspaper article. He says the press is having a field day and wants Maggie to issue a statement saying his wife is standing by him. Maggie says his wife had sex with another man in his truck, and David wants to know how she knows that it was in the truck. She tries to cover her ass, but it’s too late. David realizes she was the one who had the picture taken.

David wants to know who the guy is, but Maggie says she doesn’t know. David says if she’s lying, he’s never going to forgive her. He storms out.

Kathryn, Veronica and Jim are still in their cells. Kathryn says she doesn’t even know what day or time it is. She says she can’t believe David isn’t helping Veronica and asks if it’s because of the newspaper article. Veronica says it’s more complicated than that and Jim laughs.

Veronica tells Kathryn to calm down and that they wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place if it wasn’t for Wyatt. Jim and Veronica are starting to verbally spar, when the guard comes in to release Kathryn. Jim tells her to call a certain judge. She says that will be her first call and she’s getting them both out.

Jim asks Veronica if she thinks David is really going to help her with all she’s done to him. Veronica says she’s never met anyone as trifling as Jim and she’s glad they’re not in the same campaign anymore. She also tells him David is going to run for governor, and that he had plans to do that even before they were arrested.

Jim says he’s going to miss Veronica. She asks where he thinks she’s going and he says hell. She says if she is, he’ll be right there with her. He says her ticket is already bought and paid for, and she asks him what makes him think his isn’t too.

Kathryn leaves another message for yet another judge. Judge Carter picks up the phone and she says funny how they always call back when they want something. The judge tells her that the death of the little girl has everyone up in arms and no one wants to get involved. He also tells her that David doesn’t want Veronica out. He says he has to go, and Kathryn says when they get out of this — and they will — she’s not going to forget.

Kathryn calls a lawyer and asks for a meeting. She says there’s a bail hearing in the afternoon and she can’t find a judge to help.

Candace’s friend, Erica, brings her the $500 Benny gave her for the car. She says she didn’t want to take it, but he made her. Candace says she needs her help. She tells Erica she got marked. Erica says that doesn’t happen to them, they do the marking. Candace says she needs to get this guy back, but doesn’t have much information on him. Erica says he must have had help and that she probably already knows who helped him. Candace says it must be Jim.

Erica says it doesn’t sound like Jim’s style. He’s too high for that and to think lower. She says to start at the beginning and asks how Candace met Oscar. Candace realizes Landon was involved because he’s the one who showed her Oscar’s background online, but when she looked herself, she couldn’t find anything. Erica says the bigger the mark, the more players, so who else?

Candace remembers other people along the way. She remembers the child welfare worker pressuring her for proof of money in her bank account and believes she’s a part of it too. She says even the television in the hotel must have been rigged because Oscar showed her his stocks through it. Erica asks how this happened. Candace says Oscar got at her through her heart and promises she’ll tear his out. Erica suggests they start with the child welfare worker. Good, because I started not liking her when she hassled Hanna.

Quita is sitting in a car across the street from Candace’s place. She sees Candance come out to get something from the car and says something isn’t right. Her friend says maybe Warlock was hooking up with Candace. The nosy neighbor tells them they can’t park there and Quita curses her out. The neighbor tells them she’s calling the police, but by the time she does, they’ve pulled away. Again, Quita says something is right and this isn’t over.

David shows up at the tow yard looking for Benny. He asks Mitch some questions, saying he’s a judge. Mitch says Benny isn’t there and David asks when he’ll be back. Mitch asks if he needs a tow, and when David says yes, Mitch tells him he can call to set it up. David leaves and Mitch calls Benny.

He tells Benny that David was looking for him. Benny asks why, but Mitch doesn’t know. Benny says it’s all cool, and Mitch asks if it has anything to do with the burial supplies that were in Benny’s trunk. Benny says no and he’ll talk to Mitch later.

David calls Benny and says he needs to meet with him. Benny asks why and David says he knows why and he has some questions for Benny about his wife. He asks how long they’ve been having an affair. Benny says he doesn’t know what David is talking about and he should talk to his wife. David says he has proof, but Benny insists he doesn’t know anything. He tells David again to talk to his wife and don’t call him again.

DA Jennifer tells Veronica and Jim both their sons are going to testify against them. She says Jeffrey isn’t going to testify against David, but is more than willing to testify against Veronica. She tells Jim that Wyatt is also ready to testify against Jim and Kathryn now that he’s out of their house. Jim wants to know how that happened. Jennifer tells Veronica that David is sleeping with Maggie and struts out.

Hanna is getting ready for work and finds Wyatt asleep with some bimbo on the couch. The bimbo says he’s passed out and she can’t wake him up, and she wants to be paid before she goes. Hanna throws some water on Wyatt to wake him up. He tells the bimbo to leave, but she says again she wants to get paid and he doesn’t want her family coming there. He tells her to get out.

Wyatt acts stupid and insulting to Hanna. She tells him to get dressed. He asks what she’s being paid and she says not enough to deal with him. He tells her she’ll have to find another job. She asks where his parents are and after a bunch of nonsense, he tells her they’re in jail.

She asks why and he says she knows. She tells him the only thing she knows for sure that God will repay everyone according to their deeds, and gives him several Bible verses. She says she’s had a front row seat to the destruction that’s fallen on the Cryer household, and until Wyatt repents and asks the Lord into his heart, he’ll always be in hell. She asks again what she’s supposed to know.

He mentions the car accident. Hanna says deep in her heart, she knew he did it, but she was afraid she’d ruined his life when she told the DA she thought he did it. She thanks him for clearing her conscience and letting her know she’s not crazy. She says she’s sorry for what’s about to happen to him. Wyatt says nothing is going to happen because he has immunity. She says he has no idea how God works. She says we reap what we sow and no judge can give him immunity against what God has in store unless he repents. I love Hanna at this moment.

She goes into the kitchen, which is a total mess, and prays, asking God to help her get out of there.

There’s a knock at Candace’s door. She asks Erica to open it. It’s the case worker, Aliyah. Candace thanks her for coming and asks where her son is. Aliyah says she’s with Candace’s mother and that Hanna has custody. Candace asks why. Aliyah says when Candace didn’t come back to the hospital, the judge ruled Hanna would be better fit.

Candace asks if Aliyah knew Hanna’s house burnt down and asks where she is. Aliyah says a hotel. Candace says when she was staying in a hotel, it was deemed unfit. And it was a nice hotel. She says her mother is probably staying in a fleabag. Aliyah says she doesn’t know. Candace says yes she does and she knows Hanna doesn’t have money Aliyah says they have to do what’s best for the child. Candace says she’s going to ask Aliyah some questions, and her answers will determine how she walks out.

She tells Erica to lock the door and asks Aliyah how much Oscar paid her. When Aliyah says she doesn’t know what Candace is talking about, Candace slaps her one across the face. Then she jumps Aliyah and starts to strangle her. Aliyah admits Hanna knew the judge and that Kathryn Cryer helped Hanna get custody.

Candace lets Aliyah go and tells her not to move. Aliyah says she had nothing to do with it and Erica slaps her, saying it was a bonus. Candace asks about Oscar. She wants to know about the money and where Oscar is. Aliyah says she doesn’t know what Candace is talking about.

Candace comes up behind Aliyah, grabs her by the hair and yanks her out of her seat.

Next week, Kathryn tells Maggie to get out of the way, Jim pleads not guilty, and David and Benny fight.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Kathryn is preparing to have the ladies over at her San Diego house. They take Erika’s tour bus to get there. Of course the house is massive and impressive. Is there any other kind of house on this show? LisaV says the house has “a good vibe.”

The ladies sit down to lunch and Eileen asks LisaV who told Yolanda that she’d said something about Yolanda’s kids not being sick. Erika cops to talking to Yolanda before LisaR went to her house. LisaV wonders if Erika is a sh*t stirrer.

There’s a lot of food and attention is brought to LisaR not eating as a general rule. Lisa says there are people who have made her eating an issue. We flash back to Kim telling Lisa to eat a piece of bread. Lisa says vicious stuff went on and it’s difficult to talk about in front of Kyle. Kyle says she knows her sister wasn’t handling herself well, but she doesn’t like the adjectives being used. Lisa says she didn’t know what was going on at the time and it was scary. In her individual interview, Lisa says Kim acted like a rabid dog and she’s right. Kyle says Lisa’s hands weren’t exactly clean in their altercations, but I would have had enough at that point too.

Erika and Kathryn get involved with the conversation, even though it’s none of their business. Kathryn talks about living with addiction. Kyle removes herself from the table because it’s too hard to face reality, even though this is a reality show.

Kyle tells LisaV about the text message LisaR sent Kim, while LisaR tells the rest of the women what her viewpoint was during the whole Kim mess. Eileen is of a mind that everyone deserves another chance. Eileen asks Kathryn what her story is. Kathryn’s father committed suicide when she was 13. She said he had addiction issues, but she had put him on a pedestal and she’s super sensitive to any talk about addiction. She says until you know what someone goes through you can’t just label them, and that inside, Kim doesn’t really want to live that life.

Eileen says it’s hard to explain the dynamics of what went on because it’s all so interwoven. Kyle returns and says that things are better with Kim, but it’s difficult for her to participate in talking about it. Erika explains what Kathryn told them. And since everyone is so superficial, they point out that Kathryn looks good when she cries.

David is going on a trip and acting like he cares about Yolanda and is going to miss her.

LisaV and Ken are having dinner with Erika and Tom. They have a cocktail and Erika shows them around the house. She tells Lisa she can repent of her sins in the chapel, but Lisa says they don’t have enough time for that.

The couples go out to a restaurant. LisaV asks Tom if he goes to Erika’s performances and he says he’s very supportive of Erika’s career. Lisa says he has a twinkle in his eye and maybe a twinkle in his twinkle. Erika talks about speaking with both LisaR and Yolanda. LisaV says Yolanda has put herself up to scrutiny by posting about her illness on social media, but Erika says since they’re her friends, they know the truth.

Tom tells Lisa she’s a formidable opponent because of all her wonderful qualities. He says she reminds him of an alligator, not in looks, but how she can be lying in the sun one minute and snap up a turtle the next. He means it as a compliment and she takes it as one, especially coming from a top lawyer.

Adrienne is having lunch with Kyle. Adrienne is working on a new project and Paul is in business with her. She says it’s taken three years, but they’re getting along now. She asks about Kim. Kyle says they’re talking now. She’s happy and relieved, but still nervous because she knows there’s a lot of work to do.

LisaR lost a sister to suicide and is reading her sister’s poems to her daughters. She says addiction runs in both sides of the family and wants them to be aware. She adds that the conflicts with Kim have affected her deeply. Even though she’s not on the show this season, Kim’s presence is certainly being felt. Brandy, not so much. Ha-ha!

Kyle and Adrienne talk about taking one step at a time. Kim has told Kyle that only 5% of addicts remain sober, which doesn’t sound right to me and makes Kyle feel hopeless. Sounds like Kim is lowballing the numbers to give herself some leeway. Kyle says she hates the holidays and how she and Kim do everything separately now. She wonders how everything went so wrong. She breaks down in her individual interview.

Erika is having a barbecue with a Beverly Hillbillies theme. Since the set-up is a carnival, I’m failing to see the connection. While Erika is getting ready, she says it takes a gay village for her to look this good, although I only see two guys helping.

Eileen and LisaR are taking a limo together. Apparently, Eileen had to explain what Munchhausen’s Syndrome is to Yolanda and Yolanda was not too happy when she found out what it was. Yolanda told her she could say things about LisaR, but she didn’t. Lisa is put off by Yolanda’s righteousness. Yolanda and Kyle are riding together, and she says what LisaR said struck a chord with her because she’s all about integrity. LisaR says she’s a nervous wreck having to see Yolanda again.

The dancers from Erika’s show are in attendance and LisaR says it’s a carnival of butts. Eileen says everybody is feeling a lot of stuff, but not talking about it.

Everyone sits down and LisaR says she wants to talk. She tells Yolanda whether she feels it or not, they all love and support her. She says she doesn’t understand why Yolanda didn’t call her if she had another issue. Yolanda gets defensive and says why should she with all the negativity Lisa put out in the universe. She says she laughed off the Munchhausen thing when Lisa told her because she didn’t know what it was, but when she found out, she got seriously pissed.

LisaR says she heard the remark from someone else. Yolanda says doesn’t matter, she put it out there. Lisa says she didn’t think Yolanda had it, she just repeated what someone else said. Yolanda insists on reading the definition out loud. LisaV tries to explain that LisaR was just repeating something someone else said that she didn’t understand. Yolanda jumps both Lisas asses. She gets loud, says they were labeling her, and keeps mispronouncing Munchhausen. LisaR says Yolanda didn’t listen and she’s right. LisaR brings up Yolanda’s social media posts and repeats that other peole are saying these things. Yolanda tells LisaR to tell her who said it. Lisa doesn’t want to because they’re not there to defend themselves. Erika gets all loud and says she should say who said it.

Ugh! I’ve felt badly for Yolanda up until now, but LisaR is right, she’s not listening. Neither is Erika. Can I leave this party early?

Kyle tries to explain that people are questioning things because of the inconsistency. Eileen says Yolanda wants unconditional support. LisaV tries to explain too, that one day Yolanda says she hasn’t walked in a year and the next she’s running around Beverly Hills on a scavenger hunt. Eileen says Yolanda isn’t around all the time, so people end up talking. Yolanda just wants to know that everyone has her back and will stand up for her if anyone talks smack. Yolanda hugs it out with everyone, but in her individual interview LisaR says it’s like putting a band-aid on a wound that’s still gushing blood.

Next week, the ladies get involved in a spin challenge, LisaR talks dirty with Jenny McCarthy, and Yolanda has mixed feelings.

February 9, 2016 — Doings in Port Charles, Savannah & Beverly Hills

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Nathan pays a surprise visit to Maxie. There’s no power or heat at his place, so he’s crashing with her. Oops, so is Lulu.

Alexis and Julian are getting busy when the doorbell rings. It’s Ava.

Anna tells Paul she didn’t want to be alone. He says it poses a lot of questions that she came to see him. She says maybe she’ll have some answers.

Sam asks how Jason found her. He says he doesn’t know, maybe luck. Third wheel Elizabeth slithers in and says she thinks she knows what happened.

Lulu asks Nathan how Dante is doing. Nathan says it’s been a while since they haven’t talked about anything personal in a while. Rocco starts crying. Lulu says he’s been fussy lately and goes to tend to him. Nathan tells Maxie they should move in together, because he’s always wanted to be on Three’s Company. I made up the Three’s Company part.

Anna apologizes for the hour and asks if Paul was on his way home. He says since home is now a hotel room, there’s no rush. He says he’s still processing the visit from Dillon. He asks about her trip, but Anna says she didn’t visit Robin and she lied to him. Hmm…what is up her sleeve?

Ava gifts Julian with a sculpture. It’s actually pretty cool. She says it’s a model and the real sculpture that’s coming later is huge. She thought it would look perfect on their terrace. Gee…thanks. Alexis is stunned and not in a good way. Her phone rings. It’s Monica. Alexis asks how badly Sam is hurt.

Sam tells Elizabeth she has a concussion, but her prognosis is good. She wonders how Jason knew to even look for her. He says that she never picked Danny up. He tells her about Jake’s surgery. He tells her what Jake said when he woke up and Elizabeth begs Sam not to say anything and says they’ll get Jake help. Sam says she fell by accident and Jake didn’t do anything to her.

Julian starts talking smack about Jason, like if something happened to Sam it must be his fault, and Alexis says he was the one to rescue Sam. Alexis runs out and Ava says fearing for your child is the worst. She says other than that, things seem to be going well for Julian. She says she’d give up a lot to live his life. Julian asks if she’s admitting she’s in over her head.

Anna says she wasn’t visiting Robin in Berkeley, she was in a jail in Halifax. After some clever banter, Paul asks how she wound up there, and she says she was investigating Carrrlos.

Sam tells Elizabeth and Jason what happened, how she spoke to Franco and went to Elizabeth’s house. She found Jake with a wounded hand and the window broken, and realized Jake had thrown a rock through the window. She says she told him it would be okay, but he ran to the basement and she followed him and fell. Jason says Jake thought he’d done something wrong and that’s why he ran away. Sam says it could have been worse for all of them. Jason says she told him to trust his instincts and he’s glad he did. Sam says sorry about Elizabeth’s house. Elizabeth thanks her for not blaming Jake.

Jason tells Sam she should get rest, but she’s afraid to close her eyes. Whenever she closed them when she was in the basement, Jason disappeared. He says he’s not going anywhere. Elizabeth is all weepy when she gets out into the hallway. Too bad. You created this situation for yourself.

Maxie agrees that she and Nathan should move in together. She says they should find a place of their own though. She almost gets online to start looking, and then remembers Lulu. She says Lulu isn’t ready to find her own place and she used to live in Maxie’s apartment, so it’s like coming home for her. Maxie says they should wait until Lulu is ready. Being perfect, Nathan agrees with her — in French.

Lulu comes out wearing the coolest coral top ever. They’re all about to toast when Maxie toast to her and Nathan moving in together. Lulu drops her glass.

Julian asks Ava if she’s having second thoughts about running the organization. She says she’s worried about Avery. Julian asks how much trouble she’s in.

Anna says she knows Carrrlos is dead, but she didn’t want to believe it. She’d rather believe there was a cover-up and says she convinced Robert to go along with her fantasies. Paul asks why Halifax, and she tells him her logic, saying it was the perfect jumping off point for a clean getaway. She says Carrrlos’s death is a fact and wonders why she couldn’t convince herself that Duke was alive instead and concentrate on looking for him.

Paul is like whoa, and tells her she’s still in mourning. She says she always will be. Paul says Duke was the love of her life, but she can’t stop living. He strokes her hair.

Sam tells Jason she would have died if it wasn’t for him and thanks him. He says he’s spent too much time not remembering their life together and now he wants to begin knowing her and repaying her for what she’s done for him.

Alexis arrives at the hospital. Sam says Jason saved her, and Alexis thanks him. Alexis says he probably doesn’t remember, but she’s never been very supportive of his and Sam’s relationship. She says she is now. He says thanks and he leaves.

Sam tells Alexis while she was lying in the basement, she knew the whole time that Jason would find her. She explains a little of what happened.

Monica tells Jason that Jake should sleep through the night, but she’s going to check on him periodically.

Ava says sometimes she just wants a normal life. Julian says define normal. She says like what he’s got, home, family, marrying the person he loves. He says she can have that, but she has to make a clean break from the business. He says the choice is hers. She says it’s not.

Anna babbles on about her inadequacies and how she’s looking for a purpose in her life. Paul says he understands and tells her about his meeting with Dillon. He says he had no part in Dillon’s childhood, because he put his ambitions first. He says Tracy put Dillon first, which he’s never done with any of his children. He mentions Susan and Anna says he never talks about her.

Elizabeth hones in on Jason. She says she sees the connection between him and Sam. She says she’s watched it grow over the years and doesn’t think it’s going away. Well, if she’d thought about that months ago, we all wouldn’t be here.

Alexis is pretty freaked about the exploding house. Sam says Jason was there like always.

Elizabeth thanks Jason. He says she doesn’t have to thank him, that Jake is his son. Monica comes out and tells them both to get some rest. Jason says he’s going to stay and Monica offers a place to Elizabeth, who has to go deal with the fire department. She has a place to go, but Monica tells her the invitation is open if she changes her mind. Alexis comes out and tells Elizabeth wants to speak with her privately.

Lulu says sorry about the glass. She’s thrilled for them, but it just surprised her. She says she forgot the feeling of when she was first in love with Dante and wonders how they got so far away from it. She says she didn’t mean to turn the celebration into a pity party. She gets excited about Nathan moving in and makes Netflix plans for the evening.

Ava says she’s in a complicated situation that’s increasingly out of her control. Julian asks if she needs his help, but Alexis comes in before she can answer. Julian asks what happened and Alexis says they should have wine first. He asks if it’s that bad and she says it’s that good, Sam is alive and well because of Jason. Ava leaves.

Anna asks how Susan is and Paul says they’re not in contact. Anna says she’s taken up enough of his time. He says he has an 18-year-old bottle of scotch if she’d like to join him in a drink. She asks for a rain-check. He says his door is always open. When she gets into the hallway, Anna wonders aloud what she’s doing.

When Ava gets outside, her phone rings. She sees that it’s Paul and knows because of the hour that it must be a booty call. She tells him sorry, move on to your next blackmail victim. Paul downs the shot and throws the glass against the wall.

Sam reassures Elizabeth that Jake didn’t push her. She says she knows Jake has problems, but it was an accident. Elizabeth thanks her and she says all she did was tell the truth and that the truth matters. Since Elizabeth doesn’t know what that word means, she has to run an find a dictionary. Jason, not knowing what the word private means, comes in. Elizabeth leaves and Sam tells Jason what they talked about.

Sam asks Jason for a favor. She says her father will no doubt try to blame him, so not to listen to anything he says. He says only if she’ll return the favor by getting some rest. She says he doesn’t have to stay and he says he wants to.

Maxie tells Nathan the four of them living together will be an adjustment, but it’s what Lulu needs right now. He’s so agreeable, we know his character isn’t based on any living human being. Lulu comes down and she and Maxie chatter away on the couch while they watch a movie, with Nathan in the middle.

Paul looks at a childhood picture of his daughter.

Anna calls Mac and tells him to investigate further into Paul’s relationships with his children, especially Susan. She tells Mac that Paul was almost vulnerable when he spoke about her. As Anna leaves the bar, someone is following. While I do wonder who it is, my main question is why did Anna go from Paul’s office to the bar to make a call on her cell phone?

Elizabeth goes to her house. The fire department is there because it’s a serious mess and she can’t go inside. She finds a picture of her and Jason, and cleans it off. She wanders around looking at the chaos, equating it to the mess she’s made of her life. I don’t know if she’s really that deep, but it sounded good.

Jason asks if Sam was ever hurt because of him. She says his love has kept her alive.

Tomorrow, Nicholas and Hayden are back from Vegas and Maxie might become a star yet.

The Haves and The Have Nots

Hanna runs like crazy to the hospital with Quincy Jr. in her arms. The OR doctors ask what happened, but Hanna can’t tell them. She says he told her his stomach was hurting and then he passed out. Hanna calls on Jesus in the waiting room. I was almost going to say, for a Christian woman, she has been pretty bent out of shape for a while, but I guess that’s the point. We ain’t perfect.

Benny tells Mitch he has to go somewhere and he’ll be back in a couple of hours. Mitch says he’s tired of handling everything himself and Warlock hasn’t shown up. Benny says he has to handle something, but won’t tell Mitch what it is. Mitch notices he has a shovel in his car.

Wyatt is still prancing around in his underwear. He tells Jeffrey he’s a happy man. Jeffrey says their parents are in jail and Wyatt says it’s reason to celebrate. DA Jennifer calls and tells Wyatt he passed the drug test. She tells him Kathryn might be getting out soon, so maybe he wants to look for another place. He says he’ll be out by the morning. Wyatt shows Jeffrey the car he’s going to buy. Jeffrey isn’t impressed and Wyatt tells him to quit acting like an old guy.

Wyatt suggests they take a trip to Brazil. Jeffrey says he doesn’t want to go and he doesn’t think Wyatt should either. Jeffrey says Wyatt can’t handle a lot of money and this isn’t good for him. He asks who gave him the money because no judge would have done it. Jeffrey says he cares about Wyatt. Wyatt says if Jeffrey would stop wishing Wyatt would love him, it would be better. Jeffrey says Wyatt needs to start loving himself.

Jeffrey says he’s going back to the hotel. Wyatt tells him to have them book the presidential suite for him. He puts on some loud music and jumps around on the couch like an immature maniac. Jeffrey leaves and Wyatt plays air guitar.

Benny is cleaning like a mad man when Candace comes in with more bleach. She asks what Benny did with the body. Benny says he couldn’t move the body because her neighbor was watching, so he buried Quincy in the yard. Benny tells Candace that the neighbor has cameras focused on her front door, so until the old lady croaks, she’d better be aware of that.

Benny asks if Candace found Jeffrey. She says yes and things are cool. She tells Benny he’s with Wyatt and Benny asks if Jeffrey told Wyatt about what happened. Candace says no.

Dr. Jackson tells Hanna Quincy Jr. will be fine. He tells her that Quincy Jr. has lupus and needs to take medicine for it. She says she just got custody and didn’t know. He says Quincy is in ICU. He tells her that the medicine is very expensive. He can give her some generic samples, but she’ll have to pay for them. Um…that doesn’t sound right. I’ve gotten plenty of samples in my day and also worked for a clinic for a couple of years. There should be no charge for samples. Let’s not make Hanna more broke than she is. The doctor adds that Quincy needs to be kept in a clean environment because of his asthma. Another surprise to Hanna. The doctor tells her that she can’t see him until he’s out of ICU. He tells her to go home and rest, but she says she’s going to sit there all night. Dr. Jackson says she can’t see Quincy Jr. until tomorrow, so she should at least go to work and take her mind off of things. She says she’ll be back in the morning.

Veronica is in the interrogation room. David comes in and hands the guard a wad of cash. David wants to know where Veronica is living He says they need to have trust. She refuses to tell him and he says she won’t get out until she tells him. She says he and Maggie are playing games with her. She mentions the paper. He says for that to have been printed there must be something to it. He asks again where she lives and she says with her man. She asks if it upsets him and starts telling him what she does with her man. David leaves.

Candace’s neighbor is outside when Jeffrey pulls up in a cab. She doesn’t even pretend not to be eyeballing him. There’s no answer at Candace’s and he wants the keys to his car. The neighbor asks him what his name is. She says it was a quiet neighborhood until Candace moved in. She tells him Candace is home, but she’s in there with two men. She asks if Candace is a prostitute. Jeffrey walks off and she says her son is on the police force. Yeah, we’ve met him already and he’s a real charmer just like mom.

Oscar comes to David’s office. David says he has a problem. He says he believes there’s a hit out on his wife and he needs Oscar to find out who set it up. Oscar says David has to give him something to go on. David says Mama Rose told him that Veronica shouldn’t go home. Oscar says neither should David. David says he doesn’t know where Veronica lives. David says he’s sure that Veronica wouldn’t have made it easy, and that she’s good at protecting herself. Oscar says he’ll get right on it, but to make sure Veronica doesn’t go home. David says she can’t; she’s in jail.

David gives Oscar the photo and says he also wants to know who the man is in it. Oscar says he’ll find out and leaves.

Candace, who has an amazing shoe closet, tells Benny she’s really planning on taking the bar, but she hasn’t been able to make it happen yet. She thanks him and says he always comes through for her. She says there’s one more thing she needs. She says it’s easy and he can make a lot of money. He says it’s the same old with her and that he just buried someone in the backyard. He says he’s done. Candace says she promises it’s legit.

She tells him they found out who hit him and he’s rich. She gives him the paper. He asks if it’s the same people Hanna works for. She says yes, and Hanna knew. She says if he sues them, he can get millions. Benny can’t believe that Hanna knew and didn’t tell him. Candace says Wyatt told her. Benny’s head is spinning from all he’s had to take in lately.

The police are running a check on the car Jeffrey was driving. There’s blood on it and he told them he hit a deer. The cop on the case calls Quincy’s sister, Quita (sorry, I’ve been calling her Queen), and tells her the car has been impounded. He tells her that Jeffrey got arrested driving the car. He starts asking her questions that she has no answers for, since she doesn’t even know Jeffrey. He tells her she can pick it up any time. She calls a dude named Delon and tells him to come and get her.

Candace is getting dressed. Her freaking door is wide open and she comes out of the bathroom to see Warlock sitting there. He tells her time is running out. She says she’s working on something and tells him about the lawsuit. He says she just has a week. She asks for more time and he says no. He tells her if she runs, her brother is dead. He says she lied to him and lost everything. She says they all go back to when they were kids. War says he’s never lied to her, but he’s covered for her and protected her, and he’s hurt that she lied to him. She’s no longer blood to him. He says she knows he doesn’t make threats without following through. Then he says he wants to watch her take a shower. Okay. He actually seemed like a normal thug up until then.

David comes back to the hotel. He sees a door open, and it’s Maggie in the next room. She starts to apologize and David tells her to take her clothes off. Alrighty then.

David and Maggie are having pillow talk. For whatever reason, I don’t like these two together. Maybe I’m pissed that she was so pushy and David gave in. Oh, this is nice. He just said they were foolish not to use protection and she’s not on the pill. He says he doesn’t want any more kids and she says she’ll get the morning after pill. He asks if she wants him to get it and she says what? he doesn’t trust her? He says he wouldn’t be there if he didn’t. She asks why he is there and he says he’s getting a divorce, which of course makes Maggie ecstatic.

David says he doesn’t know if this was a mistake or not. She says they enjoyed it and he says that’s not the point. He was angry and used her. She tells him to use her again. Oh brother.

Next week, David confronts Benny and Hanna confronts Wyatt.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Kyle and LisaV meet Yolanda at a place where they have cryochambers. These things are minus 140 degrees Celsius and I have no idea how this works, even though the guy is explaining it. He says they’ll come out different people. Yeah, popcicles. Lisa goes first and isn’t thrilled, but makes a bunch of jokes. Kyle is next. She says she’s freezing her ass off and the guy says that’s why Hollywood does this. Does it promote weight loss too? Sign me up!

Erika’s closet looks like a store. Her stylist is helping her get ready for her gig in San Diego. She picks up a necklace with the c-word on it that she’s bringing it special for Kathryn. Bleh. Why did she have to ruin my like of her? It’s just mean to deliberately make someone uncomfortable.

LisaR is also getting ready. She’s not sure what to expect, so she packs about three suitcases for one night.

LisaV, Kyle and Yolanda go out for lunch after getting frozen. Kyle says her knee was hurting and now it’s not, and Lisa says she does think the chambers were beneficial. Yolanda isn’t coming to San Diego because her bedtime is at 8.

Yolanda tells them about LisaR’s visit. She says she would never question someone’s illness. LisaV says that LisaR wasn’t questioning it, just repeating what someone else said. Yolanda wants to know how Kyle and LisaV contributed to the conversation and if they stood up for her. She says LisaR told her that LisaV questioned her kids having immune deficiency. LisaV repeats what she’d said, that Mohammad said the kids were fine, and Yolanda says Mohammad pays the medical bills.

Commercial break. I see we’re back to pronouncing Teresa Guidice’s name “ju-dice” again, rather than “ju-dee-chee.” Duly noted.

LisaV says from what she’s gotten from Mohammad, the kids are healthy. Yolanda pulls out the kids medical records and wants Lisa to read them, and apologize. She says what Lisa said was discrediting. I think she’s kind of going overboard with this. Lisa says all she said was that she never knew they were ill. Yolanda says she doesn’t like people talking behind her back. It wasn’t behind Yolanda’s back; it was part of a conversation that happened after she left. Kyle says she doesn’t get why they would be dragged into it. Yolanda still trues to foist the papers on Lisa, who refuses them.

Kyle and LisaV part company with Yolanda outside and continue down the street. Kyle says LisaR told her she wanted to apologize and doesn’t get why she stirred up trouble. Lisa says yeah, apologize for your own stuff.

Eileen and Kathryn are out for lunch. They make small talk. Eileen once dated Kathryn’s ex-husband, so Kathryn asks when it was. Eileen says it was before they were married in 1988. Kathryn says hmm…they were dating then too. They laugh about it though. They talk about Erika’s upcoming show.

Kathryn’s husband calls. They’re having renovations done and he’s giving her an update. Even though it’s not finished, Kathryn is having the ladies over. Kathryn is startled to find out that Eileen doesn’t buy expensive purses. Eileen said her bags are janky and she brought one that’s not even in good shape. Eileen says she feels bag pressure. I have to admit, most of my bags look better.

Erika rents a tour bus. She and her crew drink Dom Perignon from plastic cups. Her husband, Tom, is pretty busy, so he doesn’t get to all of her shows, but he checks in.

LisaV is shocked at the amount of luggage LisaR is bringing. The girls all take a limo together. LisaR says she looked up the club they’re going to and Friday night is “pervert night.” This should be good. They drink and compare shoes. Kathryn brings up Eileen’s lack of a decent purse and they talk bags.

Kyle tells them about the cryotherapy. LisaR asks about Yolanda’s health and LisaV says she’d like to know what LisaR said to make Yolanda bring her kids’ medical records to lunch. LisaR says she went to Yolanda’s to be honest about what she said, and didn’t bring up anyone else. LisaR says someone else must be talking to Yolanda. LisaV says she never mentioned Munchhausen and she wants to drop the conversation about Yolanda’s illness entirely and forever.

Erika gets body makeup eveywhere. She moves on to face makeup and Yolanda calls. She apologizes for not being able to make it, but says she’s just not ready for all that yet.

The ladies get to the hotel. Eileen goes to LisaR’s room after they’ve both gotten ready. Lisa says that she’s put things together and thinks that someone else is talking to Yolanda about LisaV, and that someone might be Erika. She says she’s going to get to the bottom of it tonight. Yeah, because this entire group loves to bring things up in the most inappropriate places possible.

Kyle’s closest friend, Lorene, meets them at the hotel. They take a limo to the club. LisaR thinks she’s being a scapegoat and she tells LisaV she’s going to find out who’s talking about her. LisaV suggests they leave it alone.

The club is hopping with a lot of leather and S&M outfits. It’s also wall to wall people, mostly gay men. Erika Jayne is introduced. It’s not my kind of music, but she’s good at what she does. The ladies enjoy it. LisaR says she could be Britney. Maybe Britney a long time from now. After the show, the ladies get on the bus. LisaR says it’s a rock star moment and she’s a rock star in her mind. Me too.

Everyone complements her one the show. Kathryn says she doesn’t like the necklace, although at first she thought it said “candy.” I don’t think LisaV is too crazy about the necklace either, but she keeps it to herself. Erika has a different definition of the word than I do, and probably every other woman I know. Erika says she’s on her turf now, not PUMP or Beverly Hills. They get to Erika’s hotel room.

LisaR tells Erika what happened with Yolanda. I can’t believe these people waste time with this stuff. She wonders who must have said something. Eileen says somebody said something, and Erika says it’s ot her. In her individual interview, she says it was her, but she doesn’t want to talk about it right now, since she’s having her shining moment. Dislike meter going up. Erika starts getting loud, causing several of the women to wonder what she’s upset about. Erika kind of points the finger back to LisaR, and in her individual interview, Lisa says perhaps Erika should start doing some owning. LisaV wonders why Erika doesn’t want to talk about it. LisaR says it’s not her job to make it okay and Erika suggests they drop it. The girls all call it a night.

In the hallway, LisaR says she doesn’t understand it and she’s not happy. The girls decide to go to bed. LisaR is having a hard time finding hers and it’s practically right in front of her. LisaV and Kyle are goofing around with the room service carts and break some dishes. How much have they had to drink? You can dress them up, but you can’t take them out.

Next week,, Adrienne Maloof meets with Kyle, Yolanda has a carnival, and as usual, there’s a big confrontation.

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s TV watching)

General Hospital

Robert and Anna are in a Halifax jail without knowing why. Anna is all what would have happened, but Robert is looking on the bright side — he gets to sleep with Anna again.

Ava is sick with some kind of virus. Kiki comes over to babysit. Ava says she knows Kiki is upset about her not allowing Sonny more time with Avery, but she hopes Kiki will adhere to her wishes.

Sonny asks Max if there’s any news about Ava’s shipment. It’s coming in today. His plans are to shut Ava down and bring Avery home. Michael arrives (is he still on this show?).

Carly is at the hospital and runs into Morgan. She says she’s there about Sonny, but Morgan thinks she’s checking up on him.

Jake is sedated in the hospital. What did I miss? Oh, okay, they fill me in by Jason saying that he was hit by a car. Elizabeth flashes back to when Jake was hit with a car by Luke (?).

Sam, still lying in the basement, calls out for Jake to help her.

Kiki tells Ava to just concentrate on getting better. She’s brought a load of supplies like soup and juice. Kiki goes to get Avery ready when Ava gets a text from Paul saying he’s coming over. She texts something back we don’t see.

Michael says it sounded like Sonny was talking about the business when he walked in and Sonny tells him to mind his own business. Michael says that they’ve at least been able to spend more time together with Sonny in the wheelchair staying put. He tells Sonny that Anna is looking for Sabrrrina.

Felicia and Mac show up to spring Anna and Robert. Felicia says they had to go through a lot of red tape. Anna asks if they explained what the blip happened to get them arrested.

Carly says she got the message when Morgan told her to butt out at the warehouse. She said he has a valid point and she’s backing off. Morgan asks if she means it or she’s just being patronizing. She says she means it.

Jason thinks Jake ran away because they realized he was behind the break-ins at the house. Elizabeth says he deserves a happy, safe childhood and she feels responsible for what’s happened. Monica comes in and says the prognosis is good. Monica says there’s the possibility of internal bleeding, so he’s going to need surgery. She says whatever it takes, Jake will be fine.

Sam tries to get up and falls over again. She realizes she has a concussion. She sees her phone nearby, but can’t reach it.

Ava is all dressed up when Paul rings the doorbell. He wants her to go to the gallery and meet Raj’s boss, Dixon. Ava says Sonny is just waiting for her to make a false move. Paul tells her that the police aren’t on to anything and Anna is indisposed.

Felicia tells Anna and Robert that they were mistaken for a wanted couple.

Michael tells Sonny that Anna was investigating Carrrlos and thinks Sabrrrina might be with him. Sonny tells him not to give up hope on Sabrrrina.

Morgan tells Carly he appreciates Carly’s trust. Carly asks about Kiki. Morgan says that she wants him to stay in the friend zone, but did agree to a date. Carly says they bring out both the best and worst in each other and they’ve both been hurt, so he should take it slow.

Jason asks Monica about Danny, who spent the night at her house. Monica says he’s doing great and has a birthday party after school, and will be ready for Sam afterward. So I guess they won’t be figuring out that Sam is in Elizabeth’s basement for a while.

Sam reaches her phone, but it’s smashed.

Kiki arrives at Sonny’s with Avery. We are just flying through the scenes today.

Michael meets Felix at the hospital. Felix has a postcard from Sabrrrina in San Juan. She says she made the right decision in leaving Port Charles. Michael says he’ll fly to San Juan. Felix says he shouldn’t do it. He says she knows about Michael’s change of heart already because she told him.

Robert asks if the couple has accents. Anna thinks the police were possibly looking for Carrrlos and Sabrrrina. Mac says no.

Ava says she’s not at the gallery because she wants as little contact as possible with the gun runners. She says she lied to Kiki to get Avery out of the apartment. She says that they used to be just business partners, but they’re involved now, so can’t Paul cut her some slack on the murder charge?

Sonny tells Kiki what she already knows about Ava not wanting to give him more time with Avery. She says what Ava doesn’t know won’t hurt her. She says she doesn’t want Avery’s heart to ache like hers did wishing for a father when she was growing up.

Jason sees Carly at the hospital and tells her about Jake being hit by the car. Elizabeth tells Monica she can’t believe this happened a second time because of her. Monica says parents always blame themselves if something happens to their child. Elizabeth says this is her punishment for what she did to Jason. I’ll vote for that.

Sam’s vision is gettig blurry. She starts crawling accross the floor, trying to make it to…the laundry basket?

Elizabeth says Jake is suffering because she’s selfish. She wanted to keep Jason to herself and ignored everyone else’s pain. Monica says that’s not the case, and the best you can do is to be there for your children since you can’t totally prevent them from being hurt.

Carly asks how the accident happened. Jason tells her Jake ran away and explains how he came to the conclusion that Jake was behind the break-ins. He says he shouldn’t have left Jake with a sitter. Carly says his job as a father is to help Jake get better, not blame himself. Monica comes by and says Jake is waking up.

Elizabeth is telling Jake everything will be fine and she loves him. Jason enters and says he loves him too. Jake asks if they’re mad at him. Jason says he didn’t have to run away because he messed up. Jake says that’s not why he ran away. Elizabeth asks why he did then.

Sam gets to the washing machine and leans against it. She pulls the laundry basket down and puts a towel around herself to get warm.

Kiki suggests she and Morgan go to the zoo and Kelly’s with Avery. He asks if she’s asking him on a date and she says it’s more like she wants to get to know the new Morgan.

Paul says destroying the recording of Ava’s confession doesn’t mean she’s not responsible for killing Connie. Paul says she’s too valuable and he needs her as a front. He wants to keep the recording for leverage. He says as long as she cooperates he won’t need to use it. He says since Avery is out and the shipment is going smoothly, they should make good use of their time. Ava says she might be forced to work with him, but she doesn’t have to sleep with him. She tells Paul it’s over and to get out.

Jake starts to talk, but Elizabeth tells him to rest for now. Monica comes in and says they need to prep Jake for surgery. Elizabeth says when he wakes up, she and Jason will be there. Jake says something about Sam.

Sam sees a space heater across the room and crawls toward it.

Michael asks when Felix talked to Sabrrrina. Felix says he called her after she disappeared. He tells Michael that she does’t want to come back to Port Charles. Michael asks if he’s supposed to just forget about her then. Um, that would be a yes.

Anna says Paul might be behind their arrest.

Paul tells Ava he thought she was having fun with him. She says she was, but because he’s blackmailing her, it’s a turnoff. Paul says he enjoyed it as much as she did, but he knows that she did it because partially because he has her confession on a flash-drive. He says let’s do it one more time and Ava says no. He says he thought they were good together, but it’s her choice. She says she’ll let him know if she changes her mind, but don’t hold his breath.

Sonny suggests he take care of Avery so that Morgan and Kiki can have a real date. They agree, so I’m sure somehow Ava is going to find out.

Paul calls Anna and asks how Robin and Emma are. She says they’re having a wonderful time, last night was memorable, and thanks him. When he asks why she’s thanking him, she says for calling. He says he can’t wait for her to get back and hopes to see lots of pictures.

Oh, this is good. Ava is at the bar ordering champagne when Morgan and Kiki walk in. She sees them and asks where Avery is.

Carly tells Michael she’s sorry about Sabrrrina. She didn’t want him to rush things, but says she knows he would have made a great father.

Everyone tells Jake it’s going to be okay and he’s wheeled to the operating room.
Maybe not so okay for Sam. She gets to the heater and plugs it in. Oops! The plug starts to spark, but she’s already half asleep.

Tomorrow, Ava confronts Kiki and Hayden wants to know what could possibly stop her wedding to Nicholas.

The Haves and The Have Nots

Benny says what the hell and Candace tells him Quincy found her and so did Warlock. Benny asks if War called the police. Candace doesn’t think so and Benny says they have to find Jeffrey. Candace says she has a nosy neighbor, and Benny tells her to go find Jeffrey and he’ll handle things. She says she broke Jeffrey’s phone when he tried to call the cops. Benny tells her to make sure Jeffrey isn’t at the police station. Well, he is, but not for what they think.

The guard comes to get Jeffrey. Veronica tells him not to say anything and David tells him to be careful. Jim thinks he’s going to make a statement against them. Kathryn suggests they all collect themselves and just get through it. Veronica says they wouldn’t be in it in the first place if her son hadn’t ratted them out. Jim makes snide remarks about Veronica and David starts fighting with him. The guards break it up.
DA Jennifer arrives and agrees with Jim that Veronica is a cold bitch and Veronica asks her to come closer. Kathryn says she warned Jennifer. Jennifer asks if she’s the boogie man and Kathryn says worse, she’s a woman, and anything a man can think up, boogie or otherwise, wouldn’t hold a candle to what she can do.

David is taken out and Jim thinks David made a deal. David says he has to look out for Jeffrey first. Veronica wants him to try and get her out first, but he says as long as she’s in there, Jeffrey is safe.

In the hallway, David says that leaving them the newspaper wasn’t a good idea. Jennifer says Veronica made a fool out of him, since he’d been faithful to her, making that assumption since he didn’t sleep with Jennifer. Jennifer says she didn’t get him out, Maggie did, and she intimates that David must be sleeping with her because this is all she thinks about. David wants to see his son. Jennifer says no, he’s safer without seeing David or Veronica. She tries to pump him for information about Maggie, but he’s not talking. She tells him he’s free to go.

David comes out to where Maggie is waiting. He asks her why she would put an article like that in the newspaper. She’s like you’re welcome for getting you out. He asks to borrow her phone. He goes into the hallway to make a call. He calls someone named Mama Rose. He wants to know if anyone put a hit on his wife. She says she can’t talk about those things. He asks if Jim put out a hit and she says not with them. Is there a lot of competition in this area? He thanks her and hangs up.

David asks Maggie why she didn’t get Jim out. She says he’s done and the only thing that matters is David. She says he has the potential to be governor or maybe president. He’s pissed about the photo of Veronica and wants to know who the guy is. She claims she doesn’t know. David wants her to put out a statement that the photo was doctored. Maggie says she won’t do it. He then asks how long Veronica has been having an affair. She says she doesn’t know. David gets his belongings and leaves.

The DA meets with Jeffrey. She tells him he won’t be charged with the DUI or obstruction regarding the car that they were all hiding if he testifies. He asks if Wyatt is being charged, and she says no, he’s getting immunity and wanted the same for Jeffrey. She says if he takes the same deal, he has to testify against his parents and the Cryers. He says he won’t and she says he’ll be charged then and she’ll make sure he goes to jail. He still says no. He says he’ll testify against his mother, but that’s it. Jennifer says it might be difficult because they’re all being tried together. He says he won’t do it, that all he knows is what his mother did, and as far as the others go, it’s only hearsay.

Jeffrey says he loves his mother. Jennifer is perplexed. Jeffrey says she’s evil and tried to blackmail him about the car. He says he’s gay and she hates him for it. Jennifer asks if he’ll testify if she has Veronica’s trial separated. Jeffrey says gladly. She tells him he can go, but to answer his phone. She asks if there’s blood on his shirt and he says he hit a deer and had to move it. She asks what’s going on with his mother and father, that David seems unhappy. Jeffrey says he doesn’t want to discuss his parents, but Jennifer says it’s for court. Jeffrey says Veronica treats David terribly. Jennifer then asks about Maggie and if she’s having an affair with David. Jeffrey says he really doesn’t know, but David says he isn’t.

Queen sees one of Quincy’s homies and asks how to track someone on a phone. She gives him a hot laptop and he demonstrates. He brings up the address where Quincy’s phone is. Queen asks him to take her there.

Hanna wakes up Quincy Jr. who says he doesn’t feel well. She feels his forehead and says he’s burning up. He says his stomach doesn’t feel right either, so she tells him to get dressed and she’ll take him to the doctor. She calls for a cab. She asks how much it will be, but she doesn’t have enough. She tells them to send the cab anyway.

Jeffrey goes to Wyatt’s house. Jeffrey says it’s been a long night and his parents are in jail. Wyatt says he knows because he did it. Jeffrey asks why and Wyatt says it was the only way to get away from them. Jeffrey says he’s seen his mother get murderers off and she’s going to figure a way out. Wyatt says he got Jeffrey immunity. Jeffrey says he didn’t want to be a part of this and Jim is going to be pissed when he gets out. Wyatt says Jeffrey should be thanking him, and Jeffrey says he wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place if it wasn’t for him. Good point.

Wyatt ignores that and starts talking about how he’s going to get his inheritance and get out. Jeffrey comes close to telling him what happened with Quincy. Jeffrey says he has to go and there’s a knock at the door. It’s Candace.

Candace asks Jeffrey why he left. Jeffrey says he needed some air. Candace tells him to come with her. Wyatt says something about the police station and Jeffrey getting immunity. Candace thinks he’s talking about Quincy and she says she thought they were in this together. Wyatt asks what she’s talking about and says that he drove the car that hit her brother and Jeffrey and the rest covered for him. Candace asks Jeffrey if he knew this whole time and didn’t say anything to her. She says she can’t believe it. Jeffrey says he can’t believe how screwed up his life has been since he met her. She says he never would have stood up to Veronica or come out of the closet if it wasn’t for her. She says he’s not an innocent bystander, he’s an active participant. I assume she’s alluding to Quincy’s murder, especially since she keeps repeating it and hitting him in the chest and back. Jeffrey says he doesn’t want to talk to her again. She says when hes’s done being used by Wyatt, to let her know. Wyatt, who’s been interjecting snarky remarks, asks her what her rate is. She says he doesn’t have enough.

Quincy Jr. tells Hanna he needs his medicine, but he can’t seem to tell her more than that. She says she’s getting him to the hospital. The cab pulls up. They’re halfway there and she tells the cabbie she only has nine dollars. He says he’ll have to let her out. She tells him that Quincy is very sick, but he’s a bastard and makes her get out anyway and takes her nine bucks. I hate him and hope she sues if anything happens to the kid. Although she probably could call 911.

Quincy Jr. passes out when they sit on a bench. Hanna scoops him up and runs.

Next week, Quincy Jr. finally gets to the hospital, David investigates the hit on Veronica and maybe sleeps with Maggie. Maybe.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Kyle says every time she washes her car, it rains. LisaV says maybe it’s karma and she has a bone to pick with Kyle. She didn’t appreciate Kyle not telling her that Faye Resnick was going to be at her party. Faye was seriously rude to Lisa some time back and Kyle says life is too short to hold a grudge. Lisa asks how Kyle would feel if she invited witch Carlton to a party. Lisa and Kyle are celebrating their 33rd and 20th anniversaries (respectively) together and Kyle says she’s invited Faye to that too. I would have been more annoyed that Kyle called that last one a barbecue when it was a dinner party.

Yolanda, who is feeling a lot better since her surgery, and Erika go for a walk to the beach. Erika tells Yolanda about the altercation between Faye and Kathryn. She also tells her about LisaV saying that Mohammed claimed Bella and Anwar don’t have Lyme disease. Yolanda says she wishes people would use their energy more positively. She says she heard from LisaR, who’d been discussing Yolanda’s illness behind her back. Yolanda says who has time to spend three years being ill who really isn’t ill. Um…Brooks Ayers?

LisaV starts checking out Kyle’s phone in the car and Kyle snatches it back. Hmm… what’s in there? They’re checking out the venue for their Moulin Rouge themed party. Lisa thinks it’s kind of small and tells Kyle she knows one person Kyle could de-invite.

LisaR visits Erika, who has the most unbelievable house ever. Erika gives Lisa the tour. Lisa says the house is exquisite and makes LisaV’s house look small. Erika shows her the chapel where her religious art collection is displayed. Lisa says she’s seen a lot of things in her day, but this is a first.

She’s there to ask for advice on how to approach Yolanda. They sit on the patio and have some wine. There’s also a really nice spread of snacks on the table.

Kathryn and husband Donnie go to the gym. She says since she’s nine years older, she doesn’t want to ever show him she’s going downhill, so she does everything he does as far as working out goes. She tells him about the upcoming anniversary party and that Faye has been invited and it didn’t go the way she thought at Kyle’s party when she’d expected a big blowout. She says knowing someone who was brutally murdered is second only to her father’s death in being painful, and that she and her ex-husband were never brought into it until Faye’s book. She says she can barely look at Faye, but she’ll see how it goes.

Erika brings up the talk of Yolanda’s illness at Kyle’s party. LisaR says if Yolanda wasn’t dealing with her illness in such a public way, people wouldn’t be saying anything. She says unfortunately she’s engaged in it and now she feels it’s necessary to tell Yolanda. Erika says Yolanda will be more understanding than Lisa thinks.

Erika is taking a voice lesson. She says performing is so much fun, it doesn’t feel like work. She’s going to be having a show in San Diego, and all of the ladies are coming.

Eileen and Vince are back from Italy. She’s picking out an outfit for the Moulin Rouge party and the feathers from it our going everywhere from her boa. Vince asks how she’s doing after scattering her sister’s ashes and she says she’s hanging in there.

LisaR comes to Yolanda’s house. She says Yolanda isn’t the easiest person for her to talk to and this is very difficult. They sit down for coffee. Lisa tells Yolanda that she engaged in some negative talk about Yolanda and that the pictures she posts of opposite ends of the spectrum — both happy and ill — tend to confuse people. Yolanda asks Lisa why she thinks she posts the pictures, and Lisa says “awareness.” Yolanda says she got it right, and it’s hard when people you know start talking like that behind your back. Lisa apologizes and says she’s really a decent human being. In her individual interview Yolanda says Lisa is deflecting and she needs to deal with her own issues. Lisa says she didn’t know what Munchhausen’s Syndrome was but someone approached her and said maybe that’s what Yolanda has, and she explains the illness. Oddly enough, Yolanda has never heard of it either. How is it that both of these women of the world have never heard of this?

Kyle’s daughter, Portia, is trying a hat on her dog, Khloe (please tell me she’s not named after a Kardashian). Khloe is no Giggy, but she looks pretty cute. Kyle models her party outfit for Mauricio. Ken and LisaV pick them up and their dresses (or whatever you call them) are difficult to deal with in the limo.

Kathryn and Donnie pick up Erika, whose husband is with a client. Erika tells them about how LisaR came over to ask her for advice. At least this group knows what Munchhausen’s is.

The party begins! All of the costumes are fabulous, lots of feathers and sparkles. LisaR says if Harry (who is also not attending) had seen her leave the house that way, he’d just shake his head and wonder what she was up to now. Camille (who I think Andy Cohen is wooing to come back) is also there. Erika uses the c-word in front of Kathryn who tells her she’s too beautiful to talk like that and Erika says she won’t say it in front of her anymore. In her individual interview though, she says she’ll use it every chance she gets. While I don’t think someone’s looks have anything to do with how they should talk, I’m in agreement with Kathryn that it’s a degrading word and it lessens my opinion of Erika. It actually makes me want to call her one.

LisaV says hello to Faye. If there’s anyone on this show who deserves Erika’s favorite word, it’s that one. Faye tells Kyle that she thinks it’s all good between her and Lisa, but she needs to rethink that. The ladies discuss LisaR’s visit with Yolanda and Kyle does her famous splits. In her individual interview (where she is sporting some dynamite magenta highlights), LisaV says that must be the secret to Kyle’s happy marriage and that she can barely put her socks on. Ha-ha, Lisa! I’ll bet you’re just fine at putting on your socks.

Kathryn, LisaV and Kyle talk about Faye. Lisa says she was nice to Faye. Kathryn says she doesn’t really know her, but she doesn’t trust her. Kyle defends Faye, but Kathryn says she feels Faye capitalized on a tragedy by writing about it and had no businss involving her. Kyle says it was 21 years ago and it’s a new chapter today. Kyle is annoyed that Kathryn is bad-mouthing Faye at her party, but I think she has good reason for her dislike. Apparently, Faye is bucking for a spot on this show and I don’t like her very much either. There’s an air of superiority about her that’s very annoying.

Kyle tries to complain to LisaV about Kathryn’s remarks. Lisa says she can’t change the way Kathryn feels. Hey, it’s Taylor! Kyle is annoyed that Lisa isn’t being supportive she says the last time she sided with the new girl, it didn’t go very well. We flash back to Brandi slapping Lisa.

Next week, we get to see Erika’s show and LisaV finds out that LisaR told Yolanda what she said about the kids.

January 26, 2016 — GH, BH, Haves & Nots

Standard

What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts & recaps on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

The front page of the paper talks about the altercation between Olivia and the mayor over public breastfeeding. Sonny and Epiphany are checking it out. Epiphany asks if Sonny got a new doctor and he tells her she’s enough for him.

Lucas asks Julian if the story in the paper is true. Julian says yes, but Alexis has Olivia’s back. Julian asks if Lucas and Brad have set a wedding date.

Maxie and Dillon are checking out a shoot location. Maxie says Nina wants them to look at The Haunted Star as well, and Dillon brings up Johnny. He tells Maxie she did the right thing by telling Nathan right away. She says just telling a partial truth meant she also told a bunch of little lies and she doesn’t know what to do about that. Hmm…keep your mouth shut? Nathan comes by with some hot chocolate.

A reporter is asking Olivia why she didn’t just breastfeed in a room. She says she has a five-year-old son and she wouldn’t want him to see that. Apparently a lot of people are living in the dark ages in Port Charles. Dante tells Olivia he wishes he’d been here for her, but she says he had his hands full with Johnny. She says she doesn’t know why Johnny would have forced Lulu to help him since he once loved her.

Lulu asks for time alone with Johnny. It makes no sense, but because she’s Dante’s wife and was supposedly an injured party, she gets this privilege. Johnny asks her if she wants to make a run for it.

Lucas says they’re not planning on making it official any time soon. Julian tells him that he and Alexis are going to be married in a few weeks.

Sonny tells Epiphany she knows exactly how to push him. He says he’s done everything she told him and it’s time to take it to the next level. She says she’ll be the judge of that and what is he even talking about? He tells her to watch. He struggles, but finally stands on his own. Epiphany is thrilled and gives him a hug.

Olivia asks how Lulu and Valerie are and Dante says they’re both fine. Olivia says it was lucky Lulu found Valerie and she imagines it brought him and Lulu closer together. He says not so, they’re filing for divorce.

Johnny suggests he and Lulu go to Canada and start over. He says they should have done it a long time ago. He says he looks back and realizes that he made a mistake back then. Lulu says he sacrificed his freedom for her for nothing. She says that Dante figured out that Lulu helped him of her own free will and told her he hates Johnny, but Johnny has integrity which is more than Dante could say for her.

Nathan passes out the hot chocolate. Nathan says for Lulu and Maxie’s sake, he wants to make peace with Dillon. Nathan tells him he’ll need a permit for shooting, and tells him he should go to the station now. Dillon gets the hint that Nathan wants to talk to Maxie alone. When Dillon leaves, Nathan tells Maxie he knows she lied about Johnny.

Maxie says he’s right, she lied about some details, but she was trying to do the right thing and still protect Lulu. Nathan asks if she thinks it’s true that Lulu wasn’t a willing accomplice. When she doesn’t answer, he says he thinks Lulu went along with it too, but she’s his sister and Johnny is in jail, so he’ll leave it alone.

Olivia suggests Dante and Lulu work things out and stop letting it be all about Valerie. Olivia asks why Lulu would suddenly decide she wanted a divorce, and Dante says it’s him that does.

Lulu says she made a gigantic mistake that cost Johnny his freedom and Dante to want a divorce. Johnny says it’s probably for the better, that Dante betrayed her. She says Valerie helped her to see that the trouble with them started before she came along, and that they should have worked out a solution together, and now it’s too late. Johnny asks if there’s anything he can do to help and Lulu says maybe.

Epiphany asks how it happened. Sonny says he had a dream about someone who needed his help and when he woke up he felt focused, strong and hopeful. He says that’s what his people need him to be, and he said it was time to get his legs back. Epiphany says she’s not going to ease up on him and that she’s going to make it harder. Sonny tells her to bring it on. He also asks her not to tell anyone yet. She asks if he wants to hide his recovery because of business reasons.

Lucas is thrilled about Julian’s impending nuptials. He says Alexis has been good for him and he’s glad Julian is out of the mob business. He says he’s glad Julian won’t be a shooting statistic and Julian says he hopes Lucas is right about that.

Olivia thinks Dante is leaving Lulu for Valerie, but he says that’s not the case. She asks why he’s divorcing Lulu and he explains what really happened with Johnny.

Johnny says if it’s in his power, he’ll do it. Lulu thanks him for taking the fall for her. She says if he hadn’t lied, she could be going to prison too, and the thought of being away from Rocco for years would have killed her. She says now she has to figure out what happened to get her to such a low place. She wants her son to be proud of her and she wants that for Johnny too. She says there’s always been a tug of war inside of him between good and evil. He says the bad side won. She says he has a good heart and is capable of incredible generosity and kindness. She begs him not to join a gang in prison and to do something productive to get himself out and become a good guy who no longer has to hide. Lulu says he gave her a second chance and she wants that for him too. He asks if there’s a chance for them to be together too.

Nathan forgives Maxie. He says despite her covering for Lulu, he can trust her. She says she’s not so sure about that.

Epiphany says that it makes sense regarding his business, but what about Carly and the kids? Doesn’t he want to them to know he’s making progress? He says he knows what he’s doing. Epiphany says she does too, and she has patients who aren’t giving her nonsense and leaves.

Julian tells Lucas that some people aren’t willing to let bygones be bygones. He says being a father again, makes him want to stay on the straight and narrow. He asks Lucas to be his best man. Nathan says he’d love to.

Sonny stares at the door in an ominous way, although maybe this is just his thoughtful look. It’s hard to tell.

Nathan asks why he can’t trust Maxie. She says she told Lulu to go big or go home in fighting for her marriage and look what happened. Nathan says she didn’t make Lulu conspire with Johnny. Maxie says if she was in Lulu’s shoes, she would have done the same thing.

Dante says Johnny came back to town on his own, but Lulu put the Valerie plan in motion. He says she didn’t want it to get out of hand like it did, but she wanted Valerie out of the way. Olivia says her intention wasn’t to harm Valerie, but to help her marriage. Dante says she lied and Olivia brings up his own lies. He says one doesn’t cancel the other out and he wants to stay angry about it, proving once again what a moron he is. Olivia says when he’s angry he doesn’t have to feel the pain.

Johnny says he needs something to look forward to when he gets out. Lulu says she’ll always love him, but to take the mess she made for him and make something good for himself and not to change for anyone else. He says their New Year’s Eve kiss was a new and bright start to the year. Time’s up and the officer takes Johnny back to this cell. Orange is not a bad color on him. Lulu sits by herself crying and Dillon walks in.

Julian sees Sonny and asks if they can talk. He says Alexis told him what Sonny had said and he’s not interested in the mob life anymore. He says he’s starting over and he wants to make peace with Sonny. Sonny brings up some past stuff and Julian says they’re equally responsible for the animosity between them, but he’s asking man to man if they can let the past go.

Maxie says she couldn’t make Lulu see how much she had to risk. Nathan says ditto for Dante. Maxie says she’d never want to risk their relationship. Nathan says he doesn’t either and they hug.

Olivia says she’s not happy about it, but she understands and there are no easy answers. She says he’s her son and she’ll always be supportive, but she urges him to take some time before making any big decisions or signing any divorce papers. She leaves and Valerie walks in. Valerie asks how Lulu is. Dante says between Valerie leaving Lulu out of the equation (score one for her) and Johnny not saying anything, Lulu is in the clear. He tells her that they’re splitting up for real.

Dillon apologizes again for revealing Dante and Valerie’s affair. He says he also should have said something when he saw Johnny. Lulu says her problems are of her own making and asks if he’s there for further questioning. He says he’s there for a permit and that he hopes one day she can forgive him and he can really help her. She says he already started.

Sonny asks if Julian wants to be forgiven for putting a hit out on him. Julian says forgetting is more accurate, but he had nothing to do with Sonny getting shot. He says like it or not, their lives are connected. He says he doesn’t want his children to grow up without a father. Sonny says he might have Alexis fooled but they both know once you get in there’s no getting out. I guess mob business is like a roach motel.

Nathan suggests that he and Maxie trade their cold hot chocolate for a warm bed. Woo woo!

Dillon tells Lulu not to be so hard on herself and that everyone makes mistakes. He says they learn from them and try to do better. Lulu starts to cry and they hug.

Valerie says Lulu took her problems out on her, and that she’s not the cause of their problems, but she was a contributor. She wants to move on and says she doesn’t want anything to do with Dante anymore, not in a mean way, but she just can’t. She says good-by.

Julian asks Sonny if he ever wanted to escape and just have a life with his family. Sonny says of course, but he has a past and so does Julian. He says they can’t just wake up one morning and it’s gone, that everything can’t just be wiped away. Julian asks once more for Sonny to forgive him and for them to move on. Sonny totally steals a line from Machete and says maybe God can forgive Julian, but he can’t and he’s going to take Julian down for killing Duke. I don’t particularly like Julian, but Sonny is being an a-hole and had better watch his karma.

Tomorrow, Sonny tells Julian he’s going to pay and Anna is hot on the Sabrrrina/Carrrlos trail.

The Haves and The Have Nots

After Warlock and Candace trip over Quincy’s dead body, Warlock asks her how she thought she could get away with it. He says he doesn’t care about anybody, but Candace is his girl. Her mother used to look after him. He tells her not to say she’s sorry and then asks for money. She says she doesn’t have any. He insists she does and she insists she doesn’t.

Warlock tells her she has a nice place. She says he can have it, but he says no thanks, he just wants money. I don’t know why she’s not telling him why she doesn’t have it. He gets out his gun and tells her she won’t feel anything. She begs him not to shoot her. He shoots.

He shoots past her and says he told her not to move. He says he’s gotta do what he’s gotta do, and she made him look like a fool. He says she has four million dollars and he wants one and a half. She says okay, but says she doesn’t have it right now. He asks why and she finally tells him it was taken from her. He thinks she’s lying and he pulls off another shot. He says she’s a traitor and a liar and broke the code along with his heart. Quite poetic for a thug.

She tells him about Oscar and how he marked her. Warlock says she’s lying. Candace says she’s not, but she needs a week. He says on the eighth day, her ass is dead. She asks if he’ll help her move Quincy’s body and he says sure. She says the neighbor is watching everything she does. He then asks which favor she wants, to live for seven days or get help with the body. She wisely chooses the former. Warlock says he loves her. She says she loves him too. He wants another favor before he leaves and we’ll just leave it at that.

Wayatt doctors his pee test and gives it to the technician in the DA’s office. Jennifer tells him he can go home and she’ll call with the results. He asks about his parents and she says they’re okay. He asks if they’re getting out soon. She says she’s trying to keep them in until he gets out of the house. She suggests he stay in a hotel. He asks about the Harringtons and Jennifer asks if Jeffrey has a drinking problem since he was arrested for a DUI. Wyatt says no. She tells him she’ll let him know when his trust fund is released and he leaves after calling her an angel in his life. He is so clueless, it’s sad.

After Wyatt leaves, Jennifer’s assistant comes in with the paper. She’s not happy about the front page.

Jennifer asks the desk clerk where the paper came from. Maggie is there and tells Jennifer that David has been sprung. She asks why the judge would release David alone. Maggie says David had nothing to do with it. Jennifer says that David can’t be released. Maggie says if she doesn’t release David immediately, she’ll call the attorney general. Jennifer asks if she’d like to use her phone. Maggie asks how long it will be and Jennifer says as long as it takes.

The guard asks for Kathryn, saying the DA wants to see her. Veronica tells her not to say anything. She says Jennifer will try to entrap her. Kathryn says she’s not stupid. Veronica gripes about her phone call and the guard says they’re working on it.

Mitch and Benny are wrapping up the day at the tow yard. Benny says they cleared $1800. Mitch says if they keep doing well, they’ll need more employees. Benny says he wants Warlock to come in. Mitch says Warlock will bury them. Benny says he doesn’t understand, that Warlock had their backs when he and Candace were younger. His mother took care of Warlock as a child, and Warlock took care of them later financially. Mitch says Warlock doesn’t do anything for nothing.

Mitch says he doesn’t trust Warlock. He asks Benny why Warlock was looking for Candace and that he needs to keep an eye on things. Benny says funny, Warlock said the same thing about Mitch, but he trusts them both. Mitch says he’s going to be watching Warlock.

Kathryn tells the DA she’s represented by counsel and has nothing to say to her. Jennifer says she just wanted to talk to Kathryn and there’s a difference between a conversation and questioning. She says it’s off the books and Kathryn says she doubts it. Jennifer says she knew Kathryn’s father and that if it hadn’t been for his scholarship, she wouldn’t be the DA. Kathryn says he was a good man and helped a lot of people. Jennifer says that she was lucky, but about 45 of her colleagues had to sleep with him for their school money. She says up until now, a class-action suit against his estate was just talked about at parties. Kathryn says she’s trying to blackmail her. Jennifer says she’s trying to tell her to distance herself from Jim. They both talk about how being blindsided has its privileges and I don’t understand it. Kathryn says that a legacy has tentacles. She says a lot of people knew what was going on and that the town of Savannah is worth more than gold. She tells Jennifer that to take on the task she would have to divide air and she’ll wipe out everyone who needs that air to breathe. She says she wants her phone call and wants it now. Jennifer says they’re working on it and sends her back to her cell. Kathryn says maybe Veronica was right and Jennifer is a dumb bitch.

The officer gets Kathryn and Jennifer throws stuff around the room. Foiled! Ha-ha!

The guard tells Veronica to come now. They’re changing cells. Veronica insists on her phone call.  The guard says not right now and handcuffs Veronica. She says she’s taking them one at a time.

The guard deposits Veronica in her new cell. Jim and David are in the next cell and Veronica says it’s a set up. The guard acts ignorant. Veronica tells them not to say anything. Jim gets snarky. They make snide comments back and forth, ending with Jim making a comment about her hair.

Veronica asks David how he is. He says they all need to be quiet and quit giving the DA ammunition. Jim says, oh look, Veronica can take orders after all, and he and Veronica go back and forth again. Jim brings up the picture in the paper of Veronica and Benny. Veronica says she’s still angry at Jim putting his hands on her. Jim says, oh sorry, and David tells them to knock it off. Veronica gets pissed that he’s not defending her. Oh, here comes Jeffrey!

Veronica and David are pretty surprised to see him. David asks what they’re doing there and they ask him what he’s doing there. David asks what the charge was and he tells them a DUI and asks again why they’re there. Veronica asks Jeffrey what’s up with the DUI and Jeffrey says he’s guilty. Veronica says when they get out he’ll regret talking to her the way he is and he says she’ll regret everything she’s ever done to him. He says something about her and Benny and Jim is like, wow. Jeffrey asks if he should tell David or should she. Veronica says she’s having an affair and the picture was in the paper. She tells Jeffrey to go ahead and hurt David. He says she’s the one who hurt David. She says all he wants to do is Wyatt or any other guy. He says he wishes one was right here and he’d do it in her face. I literally lol.

David asks him who it is with Veronica in the picture. Jeffrey says he doesn’t know. Veronica says is he sure? Why isn’t David says maybe he’ll sleep with Maggie after all. Veronica says they’ll be even. He says they’ll be over. Jim asks David if he’s sure he wants him to call it off. Jim asks Jeffrey if he’s still gay. Jim says everyone knows it except his mother and she can’t control him out of it. Veronica says she’s seen what happens what happens when you try to control children – they get raped in prison or kill themselves. I go oooh! out loud. Jim says he knows she had Wyatt raped and David says just like how she got Quincy out of jail. Jim is like, what? David tells Veronica she’s sick. She says Jeffrey is still in love with Wyatt. Jeffrey says he’s going to do all he can to keep her in there and she’s an evil soul who doesn’t deserve to see the light of day – ever.

Wow. Wow, wow, wow. That was a very intense scene in a small space with no props. I’m exhausted. My mouth was hanging open through the whole thing. Well played, Tyler Perry.

Benny goes to Candace’s house. The neighbor waves from across the street. Candace comes out and says she doesn’t feel good. Benny insists on talking to her and she says let’s talk outside she needs the air. Benny says their mother is mad at him and she’s staying in a hotel and won’t come to his house unless Candace can tell him how she got the money for it. Candace says she’s tired and doesn’t want to do this right now. Benny says she used to tell him the truth. She says he has to go and he pushes his way inside.

He sees Quincy’s body.

Next time, Benny suggests they go to the police and David and Jim have a fistfight in the cell.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Giggy! Ken and LisaV are looking for a restaurant space and go to a sex shop where Ken has taken a lease. Lisa says that even though she’s a supporter of many lifestyles, some of the stuff is weird even to her. She plays with some pink duck and can’t turn it off. Ken tells her they’re looking at the space, not the merchandise. They bicker about who is going to design it and Lisa says Pump was a huge endeavor that she doesn’t want to do again right now.

Lisa says she thought Ken wanted to wind down, but he says winding down is dying. He suggests Max as manager. Lisa wants to start enjoying life more in 10 years time and isn’t overjoyed with this venture.

Kathryn says she’s from Milwaukee and a Midwesterner through and through. She and her husband talk about a previous vacation and he calls Westminster “Westminister.” They go to a jewelry store. Her husband, Donnie, played in the NFL and invested wisely, so they can afford a lot of cool stuff. The jewelry is in the millions, and he tells her to get what she wants, but remember they’re also renovating a kitchen. She decides the kitchen is more important, but says eventually she’ll get the jewelry.

Kyle calls LisaV. She wants to have a barbeque. Faye is going to be there, but Kyle also likes Kathryn and hopes there isn’t a conflict.

Eileen and family are going to Italy where she’s going to sprinkle her sister’s ashes. Vince plays a joke on her, putting one of the kids in a suitcase. Her sister was a single mom and she helped raise her niece who is like a daughter to her. She will also be coming on the trip.

LisaR is meeting Kathryn for lunch. They’ve known each other for a while. They talk plastic surgery, Kathryn’s old modeling days and how they palled around. They agree to have lunch again.

Kyle meets Faye at a furniture store. Faye is redecorating Kyle’s closet. Kyle says Faye is like a family member. Kyle tells Faye that she invited Kathryn to the barbeque. Faye says she doesn’t want to discuss any O.J. business with anyone. She says she’s never going to get into a conversation about Nicole and the past. I’m shocked when Kyle mentions that it was over 20 years ago. My heart.

Eileen and the gang are in Italy. She and Vince are going over plans for the trip. Eileen says her sister’s ashes are a priority. Her sister hadn’t let anyone know she was terminally ill and it’s still very difficult for Eileen. She feels guilty that they didn’t do anything for her even though it was her decision not to tell them. She says it’s a way of honoring her sister and getting rid of the guilt. She goes to some gorgeous place on the water, says good bye and scatters the ashes. She says that her sister helped raise her since she was 12 years older. I can identify since my sister is 10 years older.

Kyle is getting ready for the barbeque which looks pretty fancy for a barbeque. She’s having it catered because she’s tired of being in the kitchen all the time instead of with her guests. I can identify here too.

Kathryn visits LisaV. She says the house is fabulous, but there’s a lot of swan poopy around. They have tea, and Lisa grills Kathryn on her home life. I love Lisa, but she sure is nosy.

Yolanda arrives at the barbeque and also thinks it’s fancy for a barbeque. Erika says she shows up in barbeque-wear and Kyle is in an evening gown. Kyle also isn’t barbequing any food, so I agree when she says she should stop using that word. Everyone says the same thing when they come in, so I won’t belabor the point.

LisaR is a little uncomfortable with Yolanda because of her questioning Yolanda’s illness. Yolanda isn’t into being negative and ignores any friction between them. Yolanda schools the ladies about toxins in everything. LisaV and Kathryn are the last to arrive. Kathryn says she knew it was inevitable that she run into Faye at some point because she’s close with Kyle. She’s not too happy because Faye portrayed her as a doormat in her book when she’d never met her. She doesn’t strike me as the doormat type. She says she doesn’t want to start a fight, but she’s not going to roll over and play dead either.

Kyle is in the unenviable position of introducing Kathryn and Faye. LisaV says Faye was a bitch to her at her 30th anniversary and she hasn’t spoken to her since. She wishes she’d gotten a heads up. Kathryn and Yolanda talk about their old modeling days. LisaV and LisaR confer inside at the bar. And here comes Faye.

LisaR brings up the altercation between Faye and LisaV. For what reason, I don’t know. Just because she has no filter I guess. Faye says she has no hard feelings and wants to move on. In her individual interview LisaV says she loves women who have a pop at you and then want to move on. I hear her. LisaV says fine. Yolanda has to jet early and LisaR is glad they didn’t have to talk about anything heavy.

They sit down to lunch and Kyle’s Golden Retriever jumps all over LisaV with his ball in his mouth. Of course Lisa doesn’t mind and everyone is like, awww. Kathryn is seated across from Faye which is not so awww.

They talk about Yolanda and how much better she seems. LisaR starts talking about the confusion with her posting the sick and happy Instagram pics and they get into that conversation again. Erika says Yolanda would be pissed to hear it. LisaR says she intends to discuss it with Yolanda, which we’ve heard a few times now. Stop it, Lisa! Kyle asks about Yolanda’s kids who have Lyme disease. LisaV says that Mohammad clams he doesn’t think they have it, but she doesn’t want to get in the middle of all of it. Kyle keeps pumping (no pun intended) LisaV for information. Erika looks more and more annoyed, and finally they move on.

They talk about LisaR posing for Playboy and we flash back to the dinner party from hell and Camille calling Faye “the morally corrupt Faye Resnick.” Kathryn talks about Faye writing the book and posing for Playboy and having her fifteen minutes. Kathryn says she was in the book and don’t talk about her if you don’t know her. She says she never read it though. Erika says if she was going to confront someone about writing about her, she’d read what they wrote.

Kathryn says she’s been thinking about confronting Faye for 20 years. Suddenly, Erika tells Faye she wants to address the elephant in the room. DUN-DUN-DUNNN!

Kathryn says she never met Faye before, but she’d be a phony if she didn’t say anything. She associates herself being brought into the O.J. stuff with Faye and says that Faye is the only one who dragged her into it. Faye says she has nothing to say about something that happened over 20 years ago. She says there isn’t much to discuss. Kathryn says she wants to address it. Faye says it was nothing pejorative and asks if Kathryn feels better. Faye says it was an uncomfortable time in all of their lives and it should be discussed in private, if at all. She says that if she offended anyone she’s sorry. Kyle pipes up about what a good girlfriend Faye is. Kathryn says obviously Faye wants to move on and she didn’t get the satisfaction she wanted.

Next time, some weird party where the women are wearing top hats and LisaR finally talks to Yolanda. Faye also seems to be bucking to be a permanent addition.

Recommendation: The Girlfriend’s Guide to Divorce

This is a clever and genuine look at divorced life. A kind of Sex and the City for a slightly older crowd. The characters are diverse and believable, and while the plots are somewhat exaggerated (as with any drama), they’re both touching and fun.

I’m glad Bravo has branched out into some scripted shows. I also love Odd Mom Out. That surprised me since I thought I wouldn’t relate, but there’s someone for everyone to identify with and the show is very New York-ish.

Bravo, Bravo!