(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
Shahs of Sunset
Mike and Paulina go for coffee with pup Whiskey, who is absolutely adorable and surprisingly well-behaved. Mike asks how she felt about seeing everyone at Boots and Brews, and we flash back to that. Paulina thinks they’re dramatic, and Mike says they’ve gone through so much drama, the friendships have been tainted somewhat, but he still loves them. in Mike’s interview, he says they have to start communication, healing, and moving forward. He tells Paulina that he’s planned a trip for her birthday to Hawaii, and she says, how fun. He tells her that he’s invited the crew, and she says Mike is in his early 40s. Come on. He says, it will be an excuse to regroup. The bullsh*t is getting old. In his interview, he says, it’s common sense that just the two of them on the trip would be romantic, but he loves his friends, and wants to show them a great time. Risking Paulina’s love for the love of his friends is a catch-22. He tells her that he wants to share their happiness with his friends, and start fresh. She says, they’ll make it fun.
Nema and Mona’s mom Moshgan is visiting from upstate new York. In his interview, Nema says, when his mom comes to town, she likes to soak up family and kid time. Moshgan says, it’s been the best trip, and she’s been getting in some sun worship. Nema says they’d love it if she made it a permanent thing. Mona says, when she has kids, Moshgan is going to move there. Moshgan tells Nema, if he doesn’t have kids, when he gets old he’ll just have his dog. In Nema’s interview, he says after their parents divorced, his sister stayed with his mom in New York, while he went with their dad to California. It caused damage and trauma that he can’t put into words. Nema says he doesn’t want to upset Moshgan, but his childhood was so traumatic, it strengthened his resolve not to have kids. Moshgan says she’s sorry, but he can’t use what happened in the past to affect what happens with the rest if his life. Nema says it’s hard to hear her say, just get over it, but she says she’s not saying that. She wrote him a letter two years ago about what happened. It was emotional, and it took time; did he read it? He says, it’s frustrating for him to hear that it’s been two years. In his interview, he says he’s too worried about what it says to read it. He’s afraid he’ll read something he can’t come back from. It might taint his relationship with his dad, which is already not strong. Moshgan says, if he wants to know what happened, read her six-page letter.
Destiney meets with MJ at a smoothie place. MJ says she likes Destiney’s energy, and feels like they’re on the same page. She wants them to be good friends in a good place. A lot of lies happened, and it’s where things went south. In MJ’s interview, she says she apologized to Reza at Boots and Brews. We flash back to that, and MJ says, now she wants to open the line of communication, and fix things with Destiney. She tells Destiney, she’s there to apologize, and be transparent. Something small between Ali and Reza evolved into giant nonsense toxic bullsh*t. After the crying and confrontation that happened, she doesn’t want it to be the same thing. In Destiney’s interview, she says she thought she and MJ were like sisters. We see clips from their relationship over the years, and Destiney says, MJ hurt and betrayed her. MJ doesn’t see it, or she’s acting like she doesn’t, and Destiney doesn’t trust her. She tells MJ, she thought MJ had her back, and they were sisters, then sh*t happened. Ali walks in, and Destiney looks shocked. In her interview, Destiney says whatever MJ and Ali have cooked up, she wants no part of it.
MJ goes to the counter to order, and Ali asks how Destiney is. In MJ’s interview, she says, ultimately, she wants both of them in her life. She’s missed Destiney, and her intention is to fix this. When she comes back to the table, MJ says she wants full transparency from everyone. Destiney says she wants to figure out what’s going on, and where they all stand. MJ says she knew Ali had an issue with Reza, and wanted to talk to Destiney, so she said, go for it, but be ready to be real. Destiney says she let her emotions take ahold of her, and regrets how it came off. MJ says, the negativity has been toxic and poisonous. From her perspective of the big picture, Ali had been a close friend, but told Reza she’d said she was concerned about his marriage. Ali says he did improvise there, and MJ tells him, don’t drag her name into it, and say it’s about her concerns. In Destiney’s interview, she says, MJ is making sh*t up to save herself. Ali had said MJ put him up to it, but now he’s kissing MJ’s ass. Ali says he’s sorry he drew that conclusion, and MJ says she wants to be friends, and be on the same page. She asks Destiney if she can have a hug, and Destiney reluctantly gets up. They hug, and Destiney asks MJ to promise she has good intentions. In her interview, Destiney says she wants to believe MJ has good intentions, but deep down, she’s not comfortable.
Adam comes home to Reza, Smokey, and Miss Moo. In Reza’s interview, he wishes he could say things are amazing, but they’re not. He tells Adam that he’s going to be gone next week, so no naked Jenga when he’s not there. In his interview, Reza says he’s committed to and loves his husband. He hopes in time, this will be a distant memory. He asks Adam when they’re going to play naked Jenga, and Adam says he wants to have a conversation about that. Reza says he sounds serious, but Adam says, not as serious as Reza is making it sound, and they sit. Adam says when he went through his texts, he saw Ali was right. He did mention naked whatever, but he said immediately that he was joking. Reza says he doesn’t care about Ali; he cares about Adam doing things that make people think he doesn’t have respect for their marriage. He doesn’t like finding out his husband was potentially engaging in inappropriate behavior. People divorce over these kinds of issues, and it literally plants the seed of doubt and paranoia in someone’s head. Adam asks Reza to stop and listen, instead of shutting down. When Reza gets angry, he doesn’t listen. He interrupts and says Adam’s not making sense. He says he knows Reza mentioned a trip to Hawaii, and Reza says it would be making more of a statement if he didn’t go, and would become a big deal. He and MJ were at the Boots and Brews thing together, and he doesn’t want it to be an issue in the group. Adam says he needs to get something off his chest. He never wants MJ there again. Reza says, it’s Adam’s house too. If Adam doesn’t want her there, no problem. Right now, they’re not in a great place anyway. Adam says, if MJ and Reza get back to a good place, that’s fine, but he doesn’t want her to be around. He can never talk to her again; not even a hello. In his interview, Reza says he wants to respect his husband, but at the same time, he has a yearning for someone who used to be bigger in his life, and it’s something painful to process.
Nema and Mike head into a clinic, and Nema says, real men get Botox together. In Mike’s interview, he says he’s 41, and wants to keep it looking young. Nema says he’s stoked for Hawaii. Mike asks if Mona is coming, but Nema says Mona is mad at him. He sent his parents a text saying they screwed up his life; he has a lot of anger under the surface. Mike says he uses it to justify keeping his life from them. Nema says, if he didn’t care, it would be easy, and Mike says, it’s causing stress, and stress is going to kill him. In his interview, Mike says Nema is a good dude, but he doesn’t understand his Persian parents. They had to flee their country, and started with nothing. It’s hard for people to understand the struggles they face. He tells Nema, when you’re young and in a new country with no money, it’s difficult. They didn’t know any better; he can’t blame them. He needs to have an open heart and mind. Nema says his mom wrote him a letter, talking about her feelings on her end. In Nema’s interview, he says he was finally ready to read it, but it was frustrating. He reads from the letter, his mom writing that watching him leave was the hardest experience of her life, and has haunted her for twenty-five years. She was only twenty-five and powerless. She went back and forth to see him, and worked 70 and 80 hours a week, often the third shift, in order to afford the trip, because she had no assistance. Nema says, but it doesn’t address why he and Mona were separated. He hates the letter because it doesn’t give him an ounce of closure. Mike says, life is short. He prays Nema finds it in his heart to forgive. Come to Hawaii, and chill out. Nema says he’s going to eat his body weight in sushi. The doctor comes in, and Nema says they’re here for a tune-up. Mike looks skeptical, but gets the Botox. He says, Hawaii, here we come.
Destiney, Sara, GG, and MJ meet Paulina for a girls night out. Mike told her to go for a night out with the girls before they leave, and just have a good time. In Destiney’s interview, she says since she and Sara’s brother are no longer talking, hopefully Sara will be in a better mood. They sit outside, and MJ says it’s her first girls night out since having the baby. Tommy’s dad is watching Shams. In GG’s interview, she says MJ doing what she did is one thing – we flash back to MJ’s concern for GG when she got sick at Boots and Brews – but her taking it as an honest gesture is another thing. She’s definitely over having enemies. It’s a heavy burden to carry. They clink glasses, and toast togirls night; no boys. There’s silence, and Sara says, it’s gorgeous, but chilly, and they decide to go inside. MJ shows them how she can line her lips without using a mirror, and GG says she has skills. MJ asks if GG is feeling better, and GG says, itwas an effed up situation. Paulina says she didn’t know anything about it, and GG explains that she had her fallopian tubes removed. The baby was seven weeks when she ruptured, so she’d barely been pregnant. It was a fluke of nature, since ectopic pregnancies are rare. MJ is sorry that GG went through that. In MJ’s interview, she says she feels compassion for everything GG has been through. She tells GG, it sucks they’re not closer. They could have had their experiences together. GG says she’s sorry, and admits there’s a jealousy factor. She would have rather had a child at the end. She’s read to give a baby love. MJ says she’s sure it will be a reality for GG soon, and asks if she can give GG a hug. When they hug, MJ says she didn’t know GG was getting pregnant, and GG asks if that would have made MJ not be mean to her. In her interview, GG says, for many years, she and MJ had a toxic friendship, but GG is a different person now. She doesn’t want MJ as an enemy or a friend. The best thing is to let it go. The girls toast to Paulina’s birthday.
Nema goes to see therapist Todd. He tells Todd that his mom is in town. He wishes it meant more than it does, but he’s frustrated and on edge. Todd asks how often Nema has discussed it with his mom, and Nema says she wrote him a letter on her feelings. She said, when his parents were going through the break-up, Nema’s dad reached out to his grandfather for assistance, and suggested his dad do him the favor of taking the kids to Iran for a month, while they figured things out. She was against it, but they convinced her it was a good idea not to let the kids see them fighting. It was only supposed to be one month, while they figured it out. His first response was wondering how one month turned into nine. His second response was that he’s thirty-six, and still dealing with the fallout. That they did this because they didn’t want the kids to see them arguing makes him angry, and prevents him from having a conversation with them. He’s more angry at his dad. He has an early memory of going to the grocery store with his grandfather, and there being an Iranian guard with an AK-47, watching people. Todd says, he’s in this new world, and the transition didn’t include a conversation about it. His mom laid it out, and wants him to understand where she’s coming from. Nema doesn’t want to be mad, but can’t avoid it. Nema says he has two volumes. One is, he doesn’t give a sh*t, and the other is, listen MF’er. It’s either zero or ten. Todd says, when we bury emotions, they manifest, and he needs to release it. Nema says, the status quo isn’t working. In his interview, Nema says he’s tired of being the victim of what’s happened to him. He’s been angry too long. Todd says if he has a conflict, he needs to put it out there and articulate what’s bothering him. In Nema’s interview, he says he needs his parents to come together, so he can ask why they did it, and tell them why it was wrong. That’s closure. He tells Todd, one step at a time.
As Mike packs, he realizes he always wears black T-shirts. Paulina says, that’s all he needs.
Reza packs 10,000 pairs of shoes. In his interview, he says, he’s not excited about the trip. He and MJ barely scratched the surface in moving forward, but their history makes it worth going.
MJ tells assistant Sienna, it’s weird. Hawaii is where she wanted to go with Reza, Adam, and Tommy, since neither couple had a honeymoon. Obviously, they’re not going on a honeymoon together. In her interview, she says, hopefully, they’ll get where they need to be. She tells Sienna, they’re going to be staying at a multimillion dollar property, and she wants to get back to when their moments of having fun and making fun of each other. She’s not leaving her newborn for no reason. She’s investing in their friendship. In MJ’s interview, she says she doesn’t want to leave Baby Shams for five minutes, but she knows she needs to do this for the friendship. She’ll do or say whatever it takes to help fix things.
Mike says when they travel as a group, they always act the fool. He’s hoping everyone gets along, and Paulina experiences the amazingness of his friends that he’s told her about. In Reza’s interview, he says he plans to be cordial, and ease into interaction with MJ. They fly to the island of Hawaii, and take a limo bus to the property.
Homeowner Goldie greets them, and they’re given leis by the cultural attaché Stephanie. In Nema’s interview, he says, the vibe with MJ and Reza is like an unexpected run-in with an ex. You don’t expect it to be cool, but it’s awkward. Stephanie welcomes them, and says they’re going to do a traditional Hawaiian greeting. They’re to pair up, and touch foreheads, nose to nose; inhale and exhale, then hug. In his interview, Reza says he was hoping to ease into the interaction, but it’s like, boom! Forehead to forehead. Nema and GG face each other. In his interview, Nema says he and GG are in a great place now. In GG’s interview, she says, after a few drinks, she could see Nema as bedroom worthy, but that’s as far as she’ll go.
MJ texts Tommy, asking how Shams is. I covet GG’s headband with two palm trees sticking up from it. Tommy texts back that Shams is great, and tells MJ to have fun. As usual, the food spread is fabulous, as is the property. Everything is beyond. Nema says, it’s going to be fat Nema resurrected in Hawaii. GG says she got fun headbands for the girls, and tattoos for the guys. MJ chooses a headband with flamingos, and I want that one too. Reza approaches MJ, and says he wants a grown up conversation with two people who are special to him. He asks why MJ and Destiney are still engaging with someone who didn’t have his best interest at heart? We flash back to two minutes ago, when Destiney, Ali, and MJ got together, and in Destiney’s interview, she says she tells Reza everything. MJ wonders, instead of confronting his friend of thirty years, why isn’t he saying Ali must be full of sh*t? Why didn’t he come to her? Reza asks why MJ and Ali are super tight, and in MJ’s interview, she says few people showed up at her father’s deathbed. Ali showed up in ways none of her other friends did. MJ says Reza has done stuff to her in the past, but when he came for her, she did nothing. There are certain things she resents, but if she wanted to get mad and screw him over, she would have done it then.
Mike says, this is killing him, and Paulina asks if they’re done. Everyone disperses, and Mike tells them to figure out the room situation among themselves. The rooms are incredible, and the views are stunning. I can’t imagine ever being rich enough to go there, but if that happened, you’d have a hard time prying me out. MJ tells Reza, he’s literally the worst. Reza asks, how? He’s apologizing, and owning every bit. MJ asks where was the call she deserved? Reza says she should have told him that she was feeling five kinds of ways, and she says she wanted him to be in the delivery room. He says he wanted to be, and it broke his heart. In Reza’s interview, he says he didn’t go to see MJ in the hospital because they weren’t in a good place. We flash back to Reza calling MJ while she was recovering, and grilling her about Ali. MJ says she saw him making a huge choice not get clarity from her, but they both lacked empathy. Reza says, it’s unimaginable that his closest friend entertained someone who did something not positive to him. The outcome was sh*tty and effed up. He wants to own his part in that, and that it affected her life in a negative way. MJ says she didn’t think about what he was going through, since she was wrapped up in what she going through. Reza says that’s all he needed. From the bottom of his heart, he forgives everyone, and apologizes with his whole heart. He did to Ali the same thing Tommy did; stand up for his spouse. It made him see Tommy in a different light, and let go of the anger. That’s all he needed from her; to own her part. They can take baby steps; time and action. In Reza’s interview, he says, Adam wants nothing to do with MJ. Now he feels that he has the insurmountable task of respecting his husband’s wishes, and getting back to a beautiful place with his best friend of thirty years who’s gone. Reza asks if MJ doesn’t think this is amazing. MJ says their realization that they both lacked empathy is a breakthrough. Reza says, a big breakthrough.
Next time, fire eaters and sea life, surfing lessons, GG flirts with Nema; and Mike says, there’s lots of sh*t talking and he wants them to act right.
🍸 On Watch What Happens Live tonight, the word of the night was Reza. They said it a total of 33 times. Andy said if we were playing, don’t drive, but I say, if you were playing, you’re probably dead.
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
I missed the beginning, so here are the highlights. Sonny tells Jason, someone else needs to be warned about Cyrus, and Jason jets. Nikolas and Ava stop by Sonny’s place, via the kitchen entrance, and Charlotte has brought a sack containing her pet snake, Nagini, to Violet’s party. She tells him that they’re going to have so much fun, and hides the sack in the alcove under the stairs.
Lulu suggests Charlotte help by giving the kids some pointers. Charlotte looks at the sack, and goes with Lulu.
Sonny says the newlyweds, and Nikolas says, good to see him. Sonny asks why it took Nikolas so long to climb out from under his rock to say hello, and Ava says they’re here to pick up Avery for Violet’s party; they’re not looking for a fight. Sonny says bodyguard Cy is taking them; he’s the best, and discreet. They won’t even know he’s there. Nikolas says he can protect his wife and her daughter, but Sonny says Nikolas is going to stay. They have a lot of catching up to do.
When they’re alone, Nikolas tells Sonny, he has an apology to make before Sonny says anything. Several apologies. He’s sorry about leaving Spencer, and sorry for getting Carly involved. Asking her to keep him a secret from Sonny was a bad call. Sonny says Nikolas has made a lot of them, but Nikolas says it was the only way to keep Spencer safe. Sonny says, it wasn’t the only way. Nikolas says he did what was best for his family, Sonny says, he didn’t. He doesn’t care about Nikolas, but he does care about Nikolas’s mother and his son, and the choices Nikolas made that affected them. He knows all he needs to know about Nikolas. Nikolas asks, what’s that? and Sonny says, there’s only one kind of man who would betray his children like Nikolas did, and he has no use for him. We flash back to Nikolas telling Spencer that he needed to be strategic, and Spencer saying he needed his father.
Maxie tells Peter, when she spoke to Lulu, she said Valentin wasn’t worth fighting over, and Lulu agreed. Anna approaches them, and says, Georgie is about to ride the pony. She wants them to watch her. Maxie wonders if she should film it in regular or slo-mo. Anna goes inside, and sees Robert with a wrapped gift that looks like a really long stick. She says, absolutely not. Not in her house. Not now; not ever. Robert says, it’s practically a tradition. Violet comes in with Finn, and asks where Robert went. Robert says he went to pick up something special. Finn asks Anna if he should be worried, and Anna tells him that he should be afraid. Violet asks Anna to help unwrap it. Elizabeth tells Finn, it’s a good party, and he says it’s just something he threw together. She says, Violet is having a wonderful birthday, and he says she doesn’t think he went overboard? She says, not at all, and he says it’s the first birthday party he’s throwing for her, and he needs to prove he can deliver. Elizabeth says, and he did, but he doesn’t need prove anything. The one thing Violet already knows is that he’s a good dad. The gift is unwrapped, and it’s a didgeridoo. Robert plays it, and says, it’s a classic happy birthday.
Franco sees Ava and Avery, and Ava asks if Avery remembers her friend Franco. Franco says he remembers her, and asks if she’d like some popcorn. Ava says, popcorn is gross, and Avery doesn’t like it. Avery says she loves popcorn, and Franco suggests she get her own box. He can be her guide through the party; there’s a juggler and petting zoo.
Catching Olivia on her way in from screaming at Rocco, Robert tells her, he’s sorry, but Dante’s condition hasn’t improved. We flash back to Olivia telling Dante, for so long, it was just the two of them. She knew she could never give him everything he deserves. Dante says she did great, and she says she did her best. Every decision she made was to keep him safe, but she realized, as he grew, her job was going to get harder, because he’s not a man who will ever be content to be safe. He’s a hero in every sense of the word. Olivia tells Robert, it’s been over a year; there must be an improvement. He says he’s sorry to bring her bad news, but she says, unlike the doctors at the WSB, she’s not giving up. As long as Dante is alive, there’s still hope.
Dante asks if Sonny talks to Spencer, and Sonny says they’re very close. Spencer wants to know why he’s been abandoned by his father. I stare at the bowl of moss. Sonny says, Spencer checks in every night with a text or voicemail, but when Spencer calls, he picks up and they talk. Nikolas asks, what about? He’s sure Spencer tells Sonny what a terrible father he is. Sonny says he doesn’t mention Nikolas much; he doesn’t have to. It’s in everything he says, and not in a good way. Spencer tells him about school, what he does, his discoveries in France. He doesn’t say he’s lonely; he doesn’t have to. Nikolas is sorry his son is in pain, but Spencer is a child. In time, he’ll understand the choices Nikolas made were to protect him. Sonny says, Nikolas did it for himself, and Spencer doesn’t understand why Nikolas chose to abandon him. We flash back to Spencer telling Nikolas that he could have come home any time; Spencer never had to leave home, but Nikolas cared more about hating Valentin than loving him. Ava tells Spencer, Nikolas always loved him, but Spencer says he hated Valentin for killing Nikolas. Now he hates Nikolas for not staying dead. Nikolas tells Sonny, of all people, he thought Sonny would understand the lengths he went to in order to protect his family. Sonny says, only cowards do what Nikolas did, and he isn’t a coward. Nikolas would be smart to remember that.
Nikolas says, if Sonny is calling him a coward, he’s conveniently forgotten that Valentin tried to kill him. He had to protect Spencer, and find a way to take back what was his. Sonny says, it’s like one snake taking the head off another. Stay away from the people he loves, including his wife. Nikolas says he regrets dragging Carly into it, and Sonny says, andSpencer. We flash back to Ava asking Spencer not to shut Nikolas out. She knows how profoundly Spencer was affected by losing Nikolas, and how deeply Nikolas loves him. It’s time they both stopped hurting, and put anger aside. Let his father love him again. Spencer tells Nikolas, he could have come back with nothing. Instead, he let Spencer believe he was dead. Spencer has lived every day for the past three years alone, because of Nikolas. He built Nikolas up as a noble prince in his memory, but he’s as heartless as Valentin. The Cassadine legacy is more important than he is. Stay the hell away from him.
Willow and Chase come bearing a unicorn piñata, and Willow explains how a piñata works by pulling strings on it. Chase asks, what happened to beating the thing until it breaks? Finn asks if he has no compassion for paper mache, and Willow says, some kids don’t like hitting things that look like something that’s alive. Rocco runs in, and says Peter Pan is there. Willow goes back out with him, and Chase follows. Finn puts the piñata aside.
Finn tells Chase, he’s glad Willow could make it. Chase thinks she’s having a good time; she loves being around kids. Finn says, it makes sense, since she’s a teacher. He asks if Chase is all right, and Chase says, he’s fine, but Willow’s not. The whole custody battle is getting to her. Wiley isn’t her son, but they bonded fully and deeply. She can’t just switch it off. Michael is fighting for full custody, but if he loses, and Nelle gets Wiley, he’s not sure Willow can take it.
Charlotte comes back in, as Anna heads out the front door. Jason is on the porch, and she says she’s sorry she couldn’t meet at the MetroCourt, but she has this party going on. He says he just wanted to give her a heads up, and she says, if it’s about Peter, she can’t. He says, it’s about Cyrus, and she says she saw he was released. He says, Cyrus is trying to get leverage on key members of law enforcement. He doesn’t know if she’s a target, but Sonny wanted her to be aware. She tells him to thank Sonny, and he asks if the WSB has ever gone after Cyrus? She says she can’t share that information, and he says if she feels something is wrong, it can’t hurt to have back up. Sam comes out with Danny, and Danny says, dad?
Willow asks if Chase knows what the nicest thing about the party is, and he says, the bounce house? The petting zoo? She says seeing his grumpy brother doting on Violet. Does he know any other circumstance that would get Dr. Finn on a pony ride? It’s amazing how kids change your life. Chase flashes back to Sasha telling him, the only reason Michael isn’t asking Willow to marry him, is out of respect for Chase and Willow’s relationship. Chase says Willow would never leave him. She’d feel terrible, and it’s not the kind of person she is. But how could she be happy for the rest of her life, if Nelle got custody of Wiley, and she knew she could have stopped it, and didn’t? Chase tells Willow, he could use a walk. How about her? She takes his hand, and they leave.
Anna asks Jason to excuse her; she has to get back. Danny asks if Jason is there for the party, but he says he had to talk to Anna, and he can’t stay.
Ava sees Charlotte, and asks how she is. Charlotte says she’d like to go home. Ava says she’s sure Charlotte’s mother would be happy to take her, but Charlotte says she’s referring to her real home. Ava is sorry it’s difficult, but says, Charlotte knows Windymere belongs to her and Nikolas. Charlotte says, it’s not about her. Butterscotch misses his stall. Ava asks if Butterscotch is her pony, and she says, Butterscotch is a horse; there’s a big difference. A pony is fourteen hands, and Butterscotch is fifteen hands. Ava says she’s more than welcome to visit any time, but she doesn’t think Butterscotch would enjoy the launch. Charlotte doesn’t think so either. Lulu comes in, and tells Ava, she hopes Charlotte wasn’t rude. Ava says, Charlotte is just upset about her horse not being at Windymere. Lulu says, it’s definitely been an adjustment, and Ava tells her, blame Valentin for giving Charlotte false expectations. Lulu starts to respond, and Ava tells says, she knows what Lulu wants to say. They kind of want the same thing. Lulu asks what Ava thinks that is, and Ava says, for them to be better acquainted as sisters-in-law. Lulu says that’s not what she was going to say, and Ava says, come on. At least play along. It gives them something else to do other than bask in the glow of childhood mirth. Lulu says, it’s no secret she hates Valentin, and Ava says, wait until he pushes her from a parapet. Lulu says, the last thing she wants is her daughter caught in the middle of their feud. Ava says, no problem, and Lulu says, so she’ll help steer Charlotte clear of that? Ava says, she really means, no problem. Nikolas versus Valentin is over; they won. Lulu says, okay, great, and thanks her.
Peter sees Lulu, and Lulu says, look at them, talking socially. Peter asks if she’s warning him not to talk shop, and she says there’s nothing she’d love more, but kids, sugar, animals; it’s not the right frame of mind. He suggests they talk about Maxie instead. Her new job at Deception means a lot to her. Lulu says, it means a lot to her too. If working near, and having her paycheck covered by Valentin is a mistake, it’s Maxie’s to make. Peter says his eyes are open, and he’s watching. She tells him, be ready to catch Maxie when Valentin knocks her down.
Nikolas says Spencer is his son, but Sonny says, according to Spencer, he’s an orphan. Nikolas wasn’t there, so Sonny had to be. Nikolas says he’s sorry, but he cleared the road for Spencer to be the man he’ll never be. Sonny says, spare him the false humility. Nikolas is proud he climbed out of the sea, into bed with Ava, and back to Windymere. Congratulations. Nikolas can do what he wants, but if it touches Spencer – Sonny gets closer to him – he will intervene. Understand him? Nikolas says, yeah, and Sonny says, good. Then they’re done. Nikolas leaves.
Jason tells Danny, there’s something important they need to talk about. He wants Danny to keep being a great big brother. Look out for Scout and his mom, because Jason can’t be around for a while. Danny asks, why not?
Charlotte opens the sack, and asks Nagini if he’s okay in there, and promises he’ll be out soon. Ava and Franco come in, and Charlotte skootches into the alcove. Ava says she left it out there, but Franco says they don’t need to do this now. Ava picks up her purse, and says she’ll check her calendar. How’s tomorrow for their next sitting? He wants to get back to the party; he kind of likes the piñata. She laughs, and says, look at them. At a birthday party, at Anna’s house no less. He says, they’ve come a long way, and she says, yet she’s nowhere near satisfied. He says Nikolas has a bottomless bank account, and she’s a princess. She says, her tiara is tarnished, and he says he’s happy for her. It’s her vision of a dream come true. She says, not yet, but it will be. She puts her purse back, and they go back outside. Charlotte peeks out, and looks at the piñata.
Finn goes inside, and sits on the couch. Anna sees him, and says, just when she thought everything was going well. He says he has a kit in his medical bag, but she says, the party is going famously. She wondered what’s troubling him. He asks if he looks troubled, and she says he does. He says he was thinking maybe he should write Violet a letter, but she says, just tell Violet what he wants to tell her. He says he would be writing from a person who should be there, and Anna realizes he means Hayden. He says, on one hand, it would be a way to tell Violet that her mom is thinking of her, but on the other, it may imply Hayden is coming back. Anna says they don’t know what the case is, and asks if Violet has questioned him recently. He says, it’s been a while, and she says, from what she sees, Violet is a wise little person (aw!), sorting through what she thinks might have happened. When she’s ready, she’ll ask. He hopes he knows what to say when she does. We flash back, going down Hayden Memory Lane. Finn sitting with her at the MetroCourt, and telling her that he had a breakthrough in his research; Finn asking her to leave a toothbrush at his place, and kissing her; Griff telling them, the test results say she’s pregnant; Finn telling her that he wants to be family with her and the baby, and proposing; Finn finding out she’s Rachel Berlin, and asking why she didn’t tell him that she was in trouble. He loves her, and she got him through addiction. Why didn’t she let him help her through this? We move to Elizabeth telling Finn that Hayden is gone; Hayden writing the letter, telling Finn that the baby didn’t survive; Finn seeing her again, when she returned to Port Charles; Curtis asking if Finn thinks the child is alive; Hayden bringing Violet to the hospital, and telling Finn that she’s his daughter; Finn confronting Hayden, and saying he wants to be a part of Violet’s life; Finn telling Hayden that he’s her daddy, and explaining that he and her mommy were so in love, they made a baby; Finn introducing Violet to Anna, and thanking her for accepting Violet. We see Finn reading Hayden’s letter, telling him that she’s leaving Violet with him, and not to come after her, but to make sure Violet knows her mother loves her. We move to Finn and Violet pulling on the Thanksgiving wishbone, and Finn telling Violet that she’s his wish.
Anna tells Finn, of course (🍷) he’ll know. It’s a beautiful party. Just enjoy it, and let everything else go for now. Charlotte comes out with the piñata, and Finn asks where she’s going with it. She says she’s keeping it safe, and asks if it’s time yet. He says, almost, and Anna says she’ll gather the children. He takes the piñata from Charlotte, and she says, be careful. He doesn’t want any candy to fall out.
Um… wouldn’t it feel different? Like a different weight, and moving around?
Tomorrow, Chase says it’s Willow’s decision, Maxie asks Robert if Peter hasn’t suffered enough, and Charlotte tells Danny, there’s going to be a good surprise.
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
I wasn’t going to even watch this season, after these horrible women drove my beloved Lisa from the show (and Giggy with her), but my curiosity over Denise’s friendship with Brandi coming back to bite her in the ass – both figuratively and possibly literally – was piqued. So I decided to do a minicap on this one.
I was eating dinner as I watched this, and even before the opening credits I wanted to stab a couple of them with my fork. I could feel my hand tightening around it. I have to say though, new girl – actress, mom of twin eleven-year-old boys, and friend of Denise – Garcelle Beauvais might just give them a run for their money. I have the feeling she’s not going to take their bullsh*t. After moving to NYC from Haiti at age seven, she said she could handle anything, even those damn Housewives. Useless trivia: she learned to speak English from watching Sesame Street.
The women went to New York Fashion Week (hey, you, get out of my city) for Kyle’s first show as a designer. Needless to say, our jeans and T-shirt girl, Denise, was less than enthusiastic. Speaking of Kyle, at the last reunion, she was lauded as queen, since LVP wisely left, and it showed in her narcissism attitude. After checking into their swank NYC hotel, they took a side trip to New Jersey (get out! get out!), and went to Shakers, a strip club where Erika used to work, although they were really more go-go girls than strippers, and the dancing was a real snooze. Erika wasn’t sure if the group was going to be accepting or judgmental. I guess she’s never seen this show before, because they’re usual response is to pretend to be the former, while being the latter for real. At lunch, we found out that Charlie Sheen was once again being a d-bag, taking Denise to court because he no longer wanted to pay child support. Erika immediately called Tom, who volunteered to go with her, but Denise didn’t want to deal with it. In her interview, she said she knew Charlie best, and would deal with her own family in her own way.
Kyle met with friend Domenico Dolce (from the Dolce side of Dolce & Gabbana), who has more money than God, and LisaR met with friend Sutton Stracke, also as loaded as the Lord, but apparently with no taste in clothing. Wanting to show LisaR the latest Dolce & Gabbana bra, she wore a sheer pink blouse over it, along with rainbow sequined shorts. Possibly something I would have worn to RHPS in the days when I went to the midnight movie, but anywhere else? <shakes head vehemently> While the cat was away, Mauricio had an agency party in L.A. When Kyle tried to call, he didn’t pick up, and she said he was probably drunk or stoned. It’s probably the only way he can deal with an association to any of these people.
Sutton joined the group for dinner, and while I wasn’t impressed with her day outfit, in a simple black dress, she outshone Kyle wearing a baggy sequined jumpsuit, and Erika, who looked like she was wearing a man’s black shirt, her dress barely covering her cheeks. Really it didn’t, since they were peeking out like she was wearing booty shorts. She informed Sutton that it was from Rhianna’s Fenty line, and in her interview, Sutton said that if God had collaborated with Tom Ford on the dress, it would still have been just as meaningless to her. A breath of fresh honesty. Dorit also carried the Jacquemus mini bag, which I find both adorable, and horrifying, since I can’t believe someone would pay almost 500 bucks for it, when there are people who can’t afford to eat.
Kyle was definitely clueless when it came to a runway show, not even recognizing her own samples, and Dorit stepped in to help her out. In her words, saving Kyle’s fashion show from Kyle. There was no one to save us from the clothes though, some of which were okay, but mostly reminded me of something a matronly woman would wear on a cruise. Sorry Kyle. All of the women were in the show, but no one can ever rival Ramona on the runway with her robotic look. Dorit complained that she got rewarded with clown shoes after bailing Kyle out. Teddi, who we found out was pregnant, had running commentary in her head, reminding herself not to walk in the way Kyle had imitated last season. Kyle also shouted directions from the wings, which didn’t seem very professional. Paris and NickyHilton also stopped by for a photo op, which Kyle hoped would boost the brand.
At the end of the show, Kyle said, everyone was so happy that day, it’s hard to imagine how terrible everything would become. Then the text said, Denise stopped filming in December, and a headline about a passionate affair between Denise and Brandi was shown. We saw Denise sit down, and a producer asked if she’s ready to talk.
FYI, after the fire and an extended period of living in hotels, Denise and Aaron are still not settled, but they are still having sex every day.
Best quote of the night, Garcelle in saying, it’s always time for a shot.
🦘 Calling It a Night While It’s Still Night…
Yesterday, it was late to bed, early to rise, and I’d like to even that out just a little. So leaving you with this oddly appropriate scene from Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, which features a didgeridoo. It’s possibly my favorite scene from the film. I love the mesh of cultures. Stay safe. You know the drill.
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
Violet tells Anna that her daddy got a bouncy castle for the party. Anna says it’s a beautiful day for it, and Finn says he also ordered nice weather. Robert comes in, and says, there’s a delivery that needs a signature. Finn asks if it’s a piñata, but Robert says, it’s a pony, and it sneezed on him. Anna says, a pony? and Finn says, for riding.
Maxie closes her laptop, and Peter gives her a cup of coffee. He says he’s heading to Anna’s to help set up for Violet’s birthday party. Maxie says, Finn went all out, and Peter says, it’s the first party Finn has been able to celebrate with his daughter. Plus, her mom won’t be there. Maxie says, a distraction. She’ll meet him there after. He says, after what? and she says, the eruption of Mount Lulu.
Willow reads to a child in the hospital, and he falls asleep. She says he must be tired; they were just getting to the good part. A woman looks through the window, and Willow tells him, sleep well. She comes out, and his mother thanks her for reading to him. It’s always the highlight of his day. Willow says, hers too. They didn’t finish, so she’d be happy to come back tomorrow. His mother says they’re moving him to hospice tomorrow. It’s time. Willow hugs her.
On the phone with Diane, Michael says, next week? What are the chances he gets what he wants?… Is there a way to increase the numbers?… Besides that. He says he’ll think it over. Sasha brings him coffee, and asks if he can fill her in the other side of the conversation. He says the hearing date was moved up to next week, and his chances of full custody are slightly better than 50%. She says, unless he marries Willow, and he says, then it goes up. I have to say it. Wouldn’t the court find it odd and suspicious if he suddenly married someone he doesn’t have that kind of relationship with? I’m not so sure that would go in his favor.
Anna tells Robert, maybe Finn went a little overboard. Violet and Finn come back in, and Violet says the pony’s name is Fletcher. Robert asks if he sneezed on her too. She says, no, and asks if they can keep him. Anna says, can they? and Finn says she’s not helping. She says she’s just getting in the mood with some excitement, and Finn suggests Roxie might get jealous. Violet says, Roxie has to put on her party hat, but Finn isn’t sure if Roxie likes hats. They go upstairs, and Robert asks why Anna asked him there early. She says she thought he’d want extra time with Fletcher. She heard Obrecht was extradited, and she was hoping the whole thing was over now. Let Peter move on in peace.
Maxie tells Peter, she has to tell Lulu that she’s working for Deception, and Valentin is bankrolling it. Peter says, there’s nothing wrong with her working there, and she says they know that, but Lulu, not so much. Valentin is still Charlotte’s father, and Charlotte loves and needs her dad. Lulu is so blinded with rage, she can’t see that. Peter says, it’s crazy. Valentin is more reasonable with gritting his teeth and co-existing. Maxie says, he’d do anything for Charlotte, even play nice, and Peter asks if she’s thought of just saying that to Lulu. She asks if he’s insane.
In the hallway at the MetroCourt, Nelle asks if Valentin’s got a minute. He thinks it’s best they’re not seen together, and she says, the Quartermaines have no idea he’s moving in on their family money. He suggests they keep their voices down, and she says, it’s because of her generosity, and he asks what she wants. She says he’s acting like they’re not in the same position. He’s fighting for his daughter, and she’s fighting for her son.
Chase tells Willow that he saw her outside with the boy’s mother. Is she okay? She says, she’s fine, but Steven is terminal. His mother told her that they’re moving him to hospice. He says, he’s so sorry, and she says, it’s a mom thing. Steven’s mother is wired to comfort and take care of him. All the time she has with her son, every moment is precious. She was wondering what she would do if Wiley’s life was on the line and she didn’t have a say. She doesn’t think she could stand it.
Sasha tells Michael, it seems straightforward to her. He has to marry Willow. He says before they go further with the conversation, she needs to know he loves her, and whatever decision he makes moving forward doesn’t take away from that. It’s a strategy. She says she knows. He loves Wiley, and Willow does too. Sasha couldn’t love him if he was willing to jeopardize Wiley’s life to hang on to her. She couldn’t look at herself in the mirror either. It has nothing to do with how they feel, and everything to do with Wiley. He’s all that matters. He says she has no idea how much that means to him that she understands. She says he’d do anything for Wiley; so would she. And so would Willow. He says, if Chase wasn’t in the picture, he’d promise he and Sasha would be together one day, and ask Willow to marry him, but Chase is in the picture, so it can’t happen. Sasha says, there’s got to be a way.
Willow tells Chase, she’s being ridiculous. Why would she have a say? Michael is Wiley’s dad, and he makes the decisions. He can handle anything, assuming Nelle doesn’t get in the way. Chase says, that’s assuming a lot. Since Willow is there, why not see Wiley? She asks if he doesn’t think she’s obsessive and hovering, but he thinks she’s incredible. He knows Wiley would love to see her; he always does. She says he’s amazing. She loves him so much. He says he loves her too, and she asks if he wants to come. He says he’s got work to do, and to give Wiley a fist bump for him. When she’s gone, Chase gets on the phone.
Michael tells Sasha, Willow’s not available. She’s in love with Chase, and he’s in love with her. They’re amazing, and have been incredibly supportive, but they have a life together. He can’t ask them to put it on hold because of his custody fight. Nelle isn’t going anywhere, and it’s not like they could be married for two months and get a quiet annulment. Sasha says, Nelle would be all over that, and he says, she’d drag him back to court. It wouldn’t have to be forever, but it would be a while. Sasha has been amazing, being down with that. She has no idea how grateful he is, but that’s them, not Willow and Chase. She says she understands, but thinks he has to give Willow the choice. He can’t make the decision for her. Sasha’s phone dings, and she sees a text from chase. I need to see you. The MetroCourt restaurant. Don’t tell Michael. She tells Michael, it’s a minor crisis, but Lucy is freaking out. He tells her, go, and she says she’ll be back as soon as she can.
Valentin tells Nelle, he thinks they’re done, but she says, they’re just getting started. She says, they don’t have to be enemies. She can be a friend; more than that. She could be surprisingly good for him. He says he passes, and she says she may be forced to make trouble for him then.
On the phone with Charlotte, Lulu says she has to meet Maxie before she picks Charlotte up, but watch her phone. She’ll text Charlotte before she leaves. Charlotte has to get dressed for Violet’s party… She’s going. It’s not up for debate…Who’s going to be there? Georgie, Aiden, Avery… Yes, and Avery’s mother. She’d appreciate it if Charlotte would be polite. Enjoy her ride, and watch her phone.
Maxie tells Peter, when Nina and Valentin imploded, she was relieved not to be involved in their family disfunction, gritting her teeth and placating Nina. Lulu was sitting in judgement, but it all went away when Nina kicked Valentin to the curb. Yay. But now she’s working for him. He’s a silent partner, but their paths are bound to cross. She thinks Lulu makes things more difficult than they need be. What’s weird is, no one is more obsessed with their father than Lulu. She hero worships him. When Lulu was a kid, she was willing to travel the world, or jump off a cliff for him, but there were plenty of people who disapproved of him. Peter says, so he’s not that different from Valentin, and she says, you’d think Lulu would realize that Valentin’s daughter feels the same way as Lulu does about her own dad. She thanks him for letting her get it all out. She doesn’t want to vent to Lulu. There will be a huge, pointless fight that’s no good for anyone. She says she’ll see him later, and he tells her, good luck. She says she’s going to need it.
Anna tells Robert, she and Finn almost broke up over his mistrust of Peter. Then hard evidence surfaced that it was Obrecht, and Finn was reassured. He’s happy; let them be happy. He asks if she thinks he wants her unhappy, and she says she thinks he’s like a dog with a bone when it comes to Peter. Let Violet have her birthday, and let Finn be content. Don’t go digging around to fire things up again. It was Obrecht. She believes it, the WSB believes it, and soon, the Hague will believe it. Let the whole thing be over. He says he’s not saying another word. He’ll be the vison of politeness, but mutual co-existence is the best he can manage. Finn asks if he’s interrupting, and Robert says they were just remembering a party where they got Robin a pony, and she loved it. Somehow it got in the house. She says Robert left the door open. He says, it messed on the rug, but Robin loved it. Anna says, like Violet will. Finn asks if the clown arrived, and Robert says, he got there fifteen minutes ago.
Anna answers the door to Peter, and says she’s glad he could make it. He asks if Violet is excited, and she says, that’s an understatement. Violet runs in, and asks them to come outside and watch her ride the pony. Peter too. Robert says he has to double-check the balloons; could Peter help him? Anna asks if they’re sure they can play nice. When the rest go outside, Peter says Robert called him Peter. Is that a sign?
Maxie meets Lulu at the MetroCourt, and Lulu says she’s in a hurry. She has to pick Charlotte up, and get her home and dressed before Violet’s party. Maxie asks if Charlotte is still into riding, and Lulu says she had to put her foot down; Charlotte was spending so much time with Butterscotch. Valentin got the horse for her. Maxie says, funny Lulu should mention Valentin. As it turns out, she’s going to be working with him.
Valentin tells Nelle, he’s been thinking about the documents he forged to help her escape with Michael’s son. She says, her son, and he says, if the results of her machinations come to light, he’ll side with the father who’s trying to protect his son. She suggests he not piss her off, and he tells her not to jeopardize the child, or he’ll be forced to choose sides, and he doesn’t like her much to begin with.
Willow tells Michael, she hit the jackpot. She got to kiss Wiley as he was drifting off to sleep. He asks if Wiley did the cute ear tug thing, and she says, who needs a pacifier when you’ve got cute lobes? Sorry. He says, for what? She says she feels like she snuck in and stole the moment from him. He says he spends tons of time with Wiley; it’s all good. Since she agreed to testify, he thinks he should tell her, the hearing date was moved up to next week. She says, wow. What did Diane say? He says she thinks his chances would be better if he was married to her.
Robert tells Peter, that he would have loved to have found proof that Peter was a murderer and his father’s son, but frankly, it’s not there. He was wrong, and he’s admitting it. Peter appreciates that, and Robert says, everything points to Obrecht. It’s her modus operandi. She held Robert’s daughter captive; she held him captive. It had be her. He wasn’t convinced before because he didn’t want it to be true, but now he knows it is. Obrecht is on her way to the Hague, and he’s on board with that. Peter isn’t sure what to say, and Robert says, they’ll never be best buds, but he feels a mutual co-existence is manageable. Peter says it sounds good to him. Anna comes in, and asks if everything is all right. Robert says, peachy. He’s going out to see Violet in action. He leaves, and Peter says Robert claims to accept he’s innocent. Should he believe him?
Lulu says, sorry; what? and Maxie says she quit her job at Crimson, and landed at Deception with Sasha and Lucy. She’s excited. It’s more money, and even better, she’s on an equal footing with Lucy, and they’ll make executive decisions together. Lulu says, first, congratulations, but what does it have to do with Valentin? Maxie says, he’s a silent partner; it’s an angel investor thing. Lulu says, how? In what universe would Valentin team up with Lucy? Maxie says, this universe. She’s not sure how it went down, but Lucy said without Valentin, Deception would have been a non-starter. Lulu says Maxie can’t get involved with Valentin. He’ll do something terrible; double-cross her or worse. No one is less trustworthy. Where did the money come from? It was probably stolen. Maxie needs to walk away while she still can. Maxie says she’s not asking permission. She’s letting Lulu know, as a courtesy, what’s happening with her.
Valentin wants Nelle to get it straight. He forged the documents because it was beneficial to him to get her ELQ shares. Don’t think it didn’t bother him that Nelle wanted to escape with Michael’s son. She says, her son, and he says he could have given them her location, but it wasn’t necessary. Now he has the shares and the documents. Stay out of his way, and don’t make trouble, or he’ll end her dog and pony show. She says, so he’s going the enemy route, and he says, there’s no other option. She says, there could have been. He’s going to regret it. He tells her, don’t bet on it. Have a nice day.
Chase tells Sasha, so the best chance for Michael to keep Wiley would be to marry Willow, and she says, that’s where they’re at. He asks how she feels about it, and she says, notawesome. She loves Michael. She thinks there’s a chance he could be the one, under other circumstances. But under these circumstances, Michael has a kid with a psycho mother. Chase says, and she wants Michael to get Wiley away from his psycho mother, more than she wants him for herself. She says she does.
Michael hopes he didn’t put Willow on the spot, but she says, no. She asked, and Diane is insanely smart. If she thinks marrying her is the tipping point… He says he’s looking at it like a strategy, which is hard, since they’re human beings with feelings. It’s a little easier for him, since Sasha is on board, and supports whatever he feels is best for Wiley. Willow asks if he thinks marrying her would be best, and he says, Nelle has as much right as he does to Wiley. He can’t walk into court, and just say what a horrible person she is. It would be her legal right to do the same to him. It can’t be about proving how bad Nelle is, but what’s best for Wiley. If they’re talking strategy, and not feelings, she’s what’s best for Wiley.
Anna tells Peter, Robert will always be skeptical; that’s a fact. Peter did nothing wrong, and he’s not going to. That’s also a fact. Peter says, much to Robert’s chagrin, and she says, maybe. For all his faults, Robert is an honorable man. He’d never make anything up. She hopes, maybe in a couple of years, it will get easier. They might even like each other. He tells her, don’t hold her breath, and she says Robert is sucking it up because she asked him to. All the tension was making Finn worry, and contributed to their separation. He asks if she and Finn are good again, and she says, very good. Peter and Robert should be able to have a relationship that has nothing to do with her. They can loathe each other if they want, but they’re family, and that’s not how family acts. At least not this one. Peter says, family… and she says, he’s part of it.
Maxie tells Lulu, business is business. Is she going to Valentin’s for dinner? No. Will they be friends and bond? Lulu says, she certainly hopes not, and Maxie says, no, but Deception needed his involvement. He made Lucy an offer, and she took the deal, and Maxie can’t argue with that. Lucy did her a huge favor by hiring her. Lulu says she thought Lucy said she wanted Maxie, and Maxie says, she did; then she didn’t. Long story. The point is, she’s there now, and so is Valentin. That’s just the way it is. Lulu says she doesn’t like it, but Maxie says, she’s not asking Lulu to like it, and doesn’t expect her to, but be real. Valentin is smart. Cassadine Industries was run into the ground when he took over. He’s the only reason the company is in the black. Lulu says, yay, and Maxie says, Valentin is a smart businessman. If he does for Deception what he did for his own company, than jackpot. Lulu says, if Maxie is honest, Valentin is the man who made Claudette disappear. Disappeardisappear. Maxie says, that’s unconfirmed, and Lulu says Valentin shot her brother. Maxie says, he survived, and Lulu says, Valentin kidnapped Charlotte. Maxie says, it’s not kidnapping when you have custody, and Lulu says, he threw Ava off of a balcony. Maxie says, no one saw it, and Ava was drunk as a skunk. They can fight about it, but Lulu needs to ask herself, is it worth it to her? Because it’s definitely not worth it to Maxie. Valentin sees Lulu and Maxie talking.
Sasha tells Chase, she moved in with Michael to ward off Nelle. She loves being close to him, but it was more a necessity. Before this happened, marriage and kids weren’t even on her radar. Chase and Willow though… Chase remembers telling Willow that he has an agenda. He wants to spend more time with her as a couple, and see where things go. Is that something she wants? She says, very much, and he tells her, it’s the sort of conversation two people have when they love each other, and he loves her. She says she loves him too. He tells Sasha, Willow is the love of his life.
Michael tells Willow, it’s not just how she looks on paper; it’s how she is in person. Nelle is great at faking it, at being honest and altruistic, but Willow is all that and more. It’s like saccharine versus sugar. One tastes fine until you have the real thing. She’s the real thing, and so is her love for Wiley. He can’t say he wouldn’t love the chance to show that to the judge.
Anna says, popcorn before the party? and Finn says, Violet had to test it to make sure it’s okay. Anna says, quality control; she gets it. Violet wants her to come see the face painting and the photo booth, and drags her outside. Robert says, Violet is on cloud nine, and the party hasn’t even started. Finn did good. Finn thanks him, and tells him, come on. Finn asks if Peter is coming, but Peter says he has to make a quick call. Finn asks if Robert is going to get his face painted, and Robert says he could be persuaded. Finn says, princess or unicorn? They leave, and Peter makes a call. He says, it’s him. Robert may still be a problem. He wants to move for the distraction.
Lulu tells Maxie, she hates this, but gets it. She promises that Valentin’s involvement is for the same reason he bought Charlotte a horse. He wants to make himself look good to Maxie, the way the horse makes him look good to Charlotte. He’s always trying to show her up. My, she is self-focused. Maxie says, so much of it is in Lulu’s head, and Lulu says Valentin gave Charlotte unlimited access to his credit card. Maxie says, wow, and Lulu says, no wow. Charlotte could go to a jewelry store, and get a $10K necklace, and not bat an eye. Maxie tells her not to give Valentin more power by letting him come between them. She’s not resigning from her job. Lulu says, fine. Obviously, she doesn’t want to give Valentin more power or fight with Maxie. For the record, she’s happy for Maxie; she deserves it and she’s going to crush it. She loves Maxie. Maxie says she loves Lulu too, and Lulu says she has to pick up Charlotte. Maxie says, perfect timing; she has to get Georgie and James. They leave as Valentin watches.
Chase tells Sasha, you know something crazy? He was thinking about forever with Willow, only a month and a half in. When he’s with her, he’s home. Sasha says it’s not like they had it easy, and he says, no, but through all the struggle and hardship, watching Willow navigate it, made him love her more. Sasha says they have a right to be happy. As messed up and complicated as the custody situation is, it’s not his problem to solve.
Michael says he’s sorry for putting it on Willow; it’s not fair. If not for Chase, he’d marry her in a heartbeat. Willow thinks Chase loves her enough, that for Wiley’s sake, he would understand, but it’s not about Chase; it’s about her. Does that make her selfish? He says, not at all, and she says, if this is the only way, she’ll do it. Michael says, it’s not the only way. If it was, he’d throw himself on her mercy, offer her a million dollars, whatever it took; but he’s got the best lawyer in the state, and more assets at his disposal than Nelle. He can beat her. Willow asks if he promises that he’s not looking at her feelings instead of Wiley’s. He says he promises.
Chase asks where Michael’s head is at, and Sasha says, they talked about it, and she thinks he’s willing to marry Willow. He’s a good strategist, and knows how to put his feelings aside to get the outcome he wants. Willow isn’t like that. She’s not calculating like Michael, and she doesn’t mean that in a negative way. Chase says, Michael’s sole focus is on his son as it should be, and Sasha says, Willow can’t compartmentalize like that; she can only follow her heart. Chase says, so Michael would want to marry Willow? and Sasha says, she thinks the only reason he wouldn’t is out of respect for Chase and Willow. He knows how much they love each other. Chase says, he doesn’t know how Willow could be happy for the rest of her life if Nelle got custody of Wiley, and she knew she could have stopped it, but didn’t.
Tomorrow, Olivia says she hasn’t given up, Lulu tells Ava that she doesn’t want her daughter in the middle of this feud, and Sonny says somebody else needs a heads up.
Vanderpump Rules
Stassi looks for ranch dressing, and Tom says he’s never gotten into ranch on pizza. This has never been more relevant to be, when I got fried mushrooms over the weekend from the local pizza place, and it came with ranch. I was like, WTF? Where’s the marinara sauce? In Katie’s interview, she says their wedding in the woods was everything, but now they have all their friends there for a fun weekend. When life hands you lemons, get married in Vegas. Both Tom and Stassi want to officiate, and they decide to do it together. Stassi asks if Tom is pissed, but he says no. In her interview, she says, it’s simple algebra. Her love for Katie and Schwartz outweighs her distain for Tom. Schwartz says, it’s going to be a fun, gimmicky Vegas wedding. He wants to give Katie another ring, and Stassi says she can’t even get one.
Scheana, Charli, and Danica go out for drinks. Danica says she woke up with red velvet cake all over her, and Charli says she did too. Scheana says, the only people allowed to touch her face are her makeup artist and Botox tech. She can’t go to the wedding, since she’s having surgery. She’s been hormonal, emotional, and sick. In her interview, she says tomorrow is her egg retrieval. It’s an emotional process. We flash back to her whining to Lala about doing it alone. Danica says she saw Scheana talking to Dayna, and wonders what’s up. Scheana says, it was a misunderstanding. The only thing that bothered her was that Dayna thought she liked Brett, but went out on a date with him, and told her afterward. She’d talked to Max, and he was cool about the Brett and Dayna thing, telling her it was just a casual lunch. Charli asks if Brett and Max aren’t best buddies.
At TomTom, Max shows Brett how to make some cocktails. In Brett’s interview, he says he’s not cut out to be a server, but he’s a great bartender, since he’s good at talking to people. Max says, Dayna loves espresso, and Brett can make it for her. Brett says he and Dayna made out at the party, but they didn’t plan it. He asks if it’s cool with Max, since he likes hanging out with Dayna. Max says, whatever, which usually means it’s not so cool. He says, if there’s a connection there, he can’t take that away. Brett says, if Max said he was overstepping, it would be a done deal.
Charli wonders if Brett is going around the restaurant, dating everyone. In her interview, she says she’s learned two things since moving to L.A. Everyone bangs everyone else, and they don’t care, and for men, a vagina has no face. She asks, who’s next? Lisa?
While shoe shopping, Lisa tells Ken about Brett saying he’d rather make out with her, and we flash back to that. Puffy! She asks if Ken is jealous, but he says, is she joking? He’s not going to be jealous of a whippersnapper. She says, for that, he’s buying her shoes, and she asks for the most expensive pair. The clerk shows her a pair of Vuittons, but she already has them in black, and tells him, keep going. She tells Ken that Tom and Katie are coming with them on the plane. They went through a lot to get them married, and when she found out it was null and void, she wants to see them do the paperwork this time. Now they’ve invited a bunch of others. In her interview, In her interview, she says, if she has to yank Schwartz down the aisle, they’re getting it done. She tells Ken Nick Alain is coming to Vegas, and they’re going over the plans for the Vanderpump Suite. In Lisa’s interview, she says the Vanderpump Cocktail Garden is a roaring success, so Caesar’s asked her to create a Vanderpump Suite. She’s loving the shoes, and tells Ken to get her out of there asap.
On the private plane, Tom says, this is legit, and Schwartz says, it’s too much. He asks if Lisa and Ken do this all the time, and Lisa wants to reiterate they’re to just have fun and seal the deal. He dropped the ball the last time, and Katie says Schwartz is just barely out of the doghouse. Lisa says at her house, the doghouse is a good place to be. Puffy! In Schwartz’s interview, he says, Puffy’s got it made.
In Vegas, Lisa and Ken check into the suite they’ve stayed in before, which will be the one they’re redesigning. The key has Lisa’s picture on it. The others arrive, and Lala is wearing a sheer duster. I love those.
At SUR, Dayna polishes the glasses, and Scheana says, it’s like déjà vu. Dayna asks if she’s working, but Scheana says she has her egg retrieval surgery tomorrow, and wants to get her pay in case she’s out for a few days. Dayna says they talked about the Brett situation, but Scheana went to Max and riled him up. He was fine before he talked to Scheana. Scheana says Brett thought it was just a casual lunch, but she’s sorry for commiserating with Max instead of having an adult conversation with Dayna. She owed that to her. Dayna says all she wants is for them to be real about what they’re thinking and feeling. She accepts Scheana’s apology, and wants to move on. In Dayna’s interview, she says Scheana is a goddam space cadet, but she appreciates the apology. She asks if Scheana is okay now, and Scheana says, 100%. She had a crush on Brett in the beginning, but they’re better as friends. She asks if Dayna is going hang out with Brett again, and Dayna says they’re having dinner with James and Raquel tomorrow. She tells Scheana, good luck with her egg retrieval.
Randall says, legally, this is a real wedding, and Lala says she’s excited. He asks if she thinks it’s going to trigger Stassi, and says Lala and Stassi have a lot in common. Lala says she’s tired of being a girlfriend; the girlfriend of a 47 year old man. In her interview, she says, when a man is in the 40 something range, he’s too old be a boyfriend. Leo DiCaprio should be a husband. She tells Randall, he’s too old to be a boyfriend.
Stassi and Tom work on the ceremony. Stassi says, they’re gathered here today, and Tom says, once again. Stassi suggests Tom and Ariana could get married there. In Ariana’s interview, she says, in this summer of weddings, it’s been nice to not constantly have to talk about if they’re getting married. She thanks Stassi for bringing it back up. Tom says Ariana still has to be convinced.
Brittany wants to get married again, and Jax says, absolutely not. In her interview, Brittany says, marrying Jax was special because it made them family. She wants that for Schwartz and Katie. Without that paper, they could easily part ways. Brittany questions Jax wearing a white jacket, but he says, it’s a bizarre situation. He doesn’t think there are any rules.
Schwartz loves his fringed jacket, and tells Katie, you know what else he loves? She says, her? and he pulls a bra out of his suitcase, saying, this bra. She says, it’s not hers. In his interview, Schwartz says he has no idea how it got in his suitcase. He tells Katie, she took the suitcase last time, but Katie says, WTF? This is not hers. She takes the bra, and ponders it.
Beau has a beer, and calls Stassi’s father Mark. He drinks more beer, and tells Mark that they’re in Vegas. In Beau’s interview, he says he definitely knows Mark speaks his mind. We flash back to them meeting, and Stassi saying she’s afraid Mark is going to scare Beau off. Mark says, it’s a father’s job to scare boyfriends off. Beau says, he’s intimidating. He tells Mark that he’s asking permission to propose to Stassi, and Mark says he was apprehensive when they first started going out. You don’t always know if it’s a perfect fit. He tells Beau, of course he can propose. He thinks they balance each other out, and make a great couple. He’s pleased. Beau says it means a lot, and he’ll make a good son-in-law when it happens. Mark says he can’t promise Stassi will make a good wife. Beau says, burn. He’s going to let her know Mark said that. He thanks Mark, and drinks some more.
Nick arrives, and Lisa says they’re going to meet with general manager Sean. Their ambition is to make the suite look more Vanderpumpian. She says Sean is the most handsome man she’s ever seen. He joins them, and he’s handsome, but I don’t know if he’s the most handsome. She shows him some photos, and says Nick is going to create a chandelier; his forte is lighting. In Lisa’s interview, she says it’s going to be top-of-the-line. Dignitaries, royalty, and movie stars will be staying there, but most important, she and Ken will stay there. Sean tells them that the restaurant surpassed expectation. Pretty soon, they’ll have 4000 Vanderpump rooms.
Charli asks Raquel how she and James are doing, and Raquel says, well. James is doing well on the path of sobriety, and it turns her on. In her interview, she says she doesn’t want to say the sex is better, because it wasn’t bad, but it’s not sloppy drunk sex, and wondering if it’s going to work or not. Raquel asks Charli if things are cool with Brett, and Charli says, as a friend. She thought she’d have a guy friend who didn’t want to bang her, but Raquel says, if you have guy friend, he’s 100% going to want to bang you. It doesn’t work any other way.
In Vegas, everyone goes to Lisa’s restaurant. Katie says, it’s Schwartz’s last night of freedom. Their waitress could be Scheana’s double, and Jax says he thought it was Scheana. In Stassi’s interview, she says, it’s definitely a Black Mirror episode. She feels like the waitress is going to jump on the bar, and sing Sweet As Silver. It is an uncanny resemblance.
Kristen visits Scheana, and asks how the surgery went. Scheana says she doesn’t know. The first time, she had nine good eggs, but even if there’s only one, she’s never doing this again. In her interview, Scheana says they do the retrieval in under five minutes, but she has to wait to find out if any of them are viable. She tells Kristen that Katie texted, saying she wished Scheana was there, and Kristen says she doesn’t want to accidentally hit any of their stories. In Kristen’s interview, she says, it’s effing devastating. It was ride or die with her two best friends, but now they keep going through huge life moments without each other. She tells Scheana that her feelings are hurt, but she can’t take the fighting. Happy wedding. Good Lord, find some new friends already.
Schwartz tells Jax about the bra. In his interview, he says he’s definitely innocent. He has a clear conscience and nothing to hide. Lisa tells Katie that she put some of her underwear in Schwartz’s suitcase. He didn’t file the paperwork, and everyone always says he’s never held accountable for anything. Now he’ll be held accountable for something he didn’t do (a scathingly brilliant idea). In Katie’s interview, she says she wants to see Schwartz sweat and be uncomfortable. She’s going to see how long she can keep it going. Lisa tells the Scheana clone to keep away from Max. She laughs, and Lisa says, she even laughs like Scheana. Max says, she’s like a mini Scheana, and Lisa asks about Dayna. He says she and Brett made out, and Lisa asks if Brett is stepping on any toes. Max says, he’s frustrated, but it is what it is. In Max’s interview, he says he supported Brett and Dayna’s friendship, but told Brett that he had feelings for Dayna. Tom suddenly announces they’re going ziplining, and tries to get Lisa to go. She says she’s already had a couple of drinks.
We see Lisa being hooked up to the zipline. She says she hasn’t done this since her honeymoon. Everyone ziplines, and it looks like a lot of fun. Lisa says she survived.
Katie tells Schwartz the bra isn’t hers, and she doesn’t know if she can marry him now. He flops face down on the bed and moans. She says she’s just screwing with him. He says they have to figure out whose bra it is, and she asks whose bra he wishes it was. He says, Lisa’s, and she laughs. She says, Lisa put it in his suitcase yesterday. In Katie’s interview, she says Lisa is Schwartz’s hall pass. Go for it, and good luck. He tells her that he smelled it, and doesn’t want to give it back. In his interview, he says Katie had him for a second. It was the best prank. He tells Katie he wants to keep it, but not in a weird way. She says, there is no other way.
Danica visits Dayna, who’s going through some new clothes she bought online. In Dayna’s interview, she says, it’s hard to be a sexy girl in L.A. on a budget. She goes for cheap, slutty clothes, so it’s a win-win. Danica asks, what’s going on with Brett? and Dayna says they kissed during the cake fight. She doesn’t know what’s going on, but he makes her vagina tingle. The other issue is Max. Danica thinks he’s immature, but doesn’t think Brett is the person for Dayna either. She deserves better. In Danica’s interview, she says Dayna is a Leo and Brett is a Pisces, and they don’t mix. She slathers on some lip gloss, and says she’s dated two Pisces. She’s a Leo, and that’s why she has restraining orders against her. It’s not her fault; they were too sensitive. Dayna says she appreciates Danica’s concern, and Danica says she knows Dayna has good sense and judgment, and she wants her to use it.
Tom goes to Schwartz’s suite, dressed like a poor man’s Elvis. Schwartz asks for a quarter shot. He says, Lisa’s bra smells like opulence; diamonds, rosé, and tangerines. In his interview, Tom says, the theme is bizarro character Vegas. Schwartz is cowboy glam, marrying his glam rocker bride. Ariana is an enthusiastic middle-aged tourist, Lala is a glitter babe, Stassi is a nun, and he’s the king of extra. It’s the perfect Vegas wedding.
Lisa tells Stassi that the nun outfit suits her. Ariana comes in wearing her tourist garb, and Lisa says everyone who works for her is batsh*t crazy. Katie walks down the aisle, and Tom tells everyone, be seated. They’re gathered here once again. He shows that they have the proper documents, and everyone applauds. Stassi says, it’s a twice in a lifetime event, and feels it’s all Schwartz’s fault. Stassi says, now Schwartz gets his dream wedding of all of them getting sh*tfaced in Vegas. In Jax’s interview, he says there’s nothing more on brand for Schwartz and Katie, but his and Brittany’s wedding was better. Schwartz and Katie vow to be each other’s ride or die all their lives, and in the afterlife. They’re pronounced husband and wife, and Tom says, let’s sign this sh*t right now. Katie throws the bouquet, and Stassi catches it.
Dayna and Brett go on their double-date with Raquel and James. Brett asks, what’s going on? He saw James talking to Lala. James says, Lala has had a lot of patience with him. We flash back to them hugging it out, and James says he feels like they’re coming to a real place. Raquel says Lala has been where James is, making the decision not to drink, and has been encouraging. In his interview, James says he’s been sober for two weeks, and has had no fights with anyone. It’s been an amazing two weeks. Brett reminds Dayna that he licked her face at the party, and Dayna says Danica has been messing in her business since Max, and Brett says, she overdramatizes every situation. In Brett’s interview, he says Danica has been poisoning his garden, and he only wants non-GMO things growing in there. He mentions flirting with Lisa, and James says Lisa has been like his mom, and he’s never flirted with her. In his interview, Brett says, working at SUR, he’s seen beautiful women, but there’s nothing like when Lisa walks through the room. If she wasn’t married, he’d definitely slide into her DMs. Hard. I’ll bet she’d slide him right out. Hard. In Dayna’s interview, she says, Lisa is hot.
Back in Vegas, after the ceremony, everyone applauds when Schwartz and Katie come in. Jax says he’s going to keep his speech short. He’s happy they got married a second time, and speaks for Brittany as well when he says, welcome to married life. He thanks Schwartz for effing up, so they could go to Vegas. Lisa says Schwartz owes her big time. We find out Scheana’s twin’s name is Karrah, and Max says he slipped her his number. Stassi says he’s hooking up with Scheana’s doppelganger? They toast with shots, and Beau tells Lisa that he’s proposing soon to Stassi. He’s got the rings, and she has no idea. It’s epic. In his interview, Beau says most people are nervous about the girl’s father, but he has her group of friends to make him nervous, and he has to ask Lisa. He tells Lisa that he’s going to propose in the Hollywood Forever Cemetery. Lisa is happy, and knows Stassi loves him. She says she knew Ken was the one because she didn’t want to spend life without him. Puffy! She knows Beau feels that way about Stassi, and promises to keep it a secret. Stassi gazes at Beau.
The next morning, Beau tells Stassi, it’s hard be a normal human. She orders a Bloody Mary from room service, using a British accent, and Beau adds an English muffin. She tells Beau that she caught the bouquet, and don’t forget it. They pack.
Lisa tells Ken, there are some liquor distributor bills that need to be sorted out, and gets Max on a video call. She asks if he paid them, and he says he did. He tells her that the other guys left the place a mess, and she tells him not to leave the room looking like a brewery; it will reflect badly on her. She asks to see the room, and says, it looks terrible; clean it up. She tells him to show her the bed again, and sees a hand peeking out. She asks, what’s with that? and he says he brought a friend home. It’s Karrah, and Max says, she’s very tired. Karrah says, she’s not tired from him; she promises. Lisa says, he’s got to be effing kidding. In her interview, she says why is she not surprised? Max didn’t waste any time getting in trouble. She tells Karrah, get out of bed and clean the room. Max says they’ll talk later, and she says, don’t worry; they will. In Max’s interview, he says he hates Vegas. Lisa tells Ken, Max is already banging the staff, as if he hasn’t banged enough people already.
Katie asks Schwartz where the paper is, and he knows he has it, but can’t find it. In her interview, she says she married an imbecile, but it’s okay. He insists there’s no chance he lost it, and she says, it’s literally the whole reason they’re there, and he couldn’t hold on to it for an hour. She’s going to tell Lisa. In his interview, Schwartz says he didn’t lose what matters most… Lisa’s bra. Katie hopes it turns up, but Schwartz says, they’re still legally married. She asks if he’s sure about that.
Next time, Dayna flirts with Brett, James and Lala record some new music, and Beau wants to remain friends with Kristen, which makes Stassi mad.
If Loving You Is Wrong
Lushion sees Ian and Alex having sex through the window, and blocks Brad’s view, telling him she’s not there. Brad says he didn’t knock, but Lushion says he remembered Ian left. Brad asks if his car isn’t there, and Lushion says, he had somebody pick him up; let’s go. Brad says Alex left the kids home with a babysitter who has to go to school tomorrow. Lushion doesn’t know what came over her, and Brad thinks she’s lost her mind. He says he’ll be at the house, and if Alex calls, let him know. He tells Lushion, Marcie thinks something happened to Alex, and Lushion says, it’s a legit question. Brad thinks nothing happened, and Alex is just mad about the divorce papers. She knew the babysitter would call him. Lushion says, these things are difficult. Wait at the house until Alex gets home. He can call, and see if Alex picks up; the kids shouldn’t be home alone. Brad says, Marcie is there. He’s sorry he got Lushion out of bed, but Lushion says, no problem.
At home, Natalie wants to know what’s going on, and Lushion says she reminds him of Miss Ross. She asks, who’s that? and he says, she was an amazing woman. He thinks she liked her scotch, and she’d sit on the porch, saying, see you don’t come on the grass. Leave the cats alone. Natalie wonders what he’s talking about, and he asks why she’s always in somebody’s business. Why does she have to know everything? She says, it’s the middle of the night, there’s a knock at their door, and she’s not supposed to ask questions? He tells her, it was Brad, and she asks what Brad wanted. She knows this is Lushion’s way of trying to ignore her. She knows him, and he does this when there’s something she should know, and he doesn’t want her to. Like with the money in his account. What’s the situation with Brad? Or does she have to ask him herself? Lushion says, he was looking for Alex, and Natalie says, she’s not home? He says, if she was home, Brad wouldn’t be looking for her. She asks if he thinks something happened, but he says, no. She asks how he knows, and suggests calling Alex, but he says, it’s not necessary. She thinks they should ask Ian, but he says, it’s none of their business. She says, something could have happened, but he says Alex isn’t missing. She’s at Ian’s house. Natalie asks why she’d be there this late, and he says, they’re having sex. Natalie says, just tell her, without the condescending bullsh*t. He says he and Brad walked over to Ian’s, and he saw them through the window having sex. Natalie says, with each other? and I wonder who else she thought they’d be having sex with. She asks if Brad saw, but he says, no. She starts to leave, but he says, no; she’s not going over there. It’s none of their business. She wants to tell Alex to take her ass home, and he says he thought about that, or talking to Ian, but it’s not their business. He’s going to sleep. She says, okay, but Alex has lost her damn mind.
Eddie has a large Black cellmate, and Eddie says, keep looking at him. His cellmate says, don’t worry, he is. Eddie calls for the guard, and dude says, they come and go every fifteen minutes. Eddie says, oh, he can count to fifteen. He talks stupid, and Eddie is tired of hearing his mouth. Black people talk stupid. Dude comes up on him, and Eddie asks why he’s waiting, all gangster. Dude says, he’ll be patient, and Eddie says he’s going to sleep, and gets in the top bunk. Dude grabs him off of the bunk, and Eddie says he’s not scared of him. Dude punches him, and Eddie laughs. Dude calls Eddie a crazy MF’er, and Eddie says, it’s what he lives for. Dude keeps punching him, and a guard comes by. He asks what the hell dude is doing, and yanks him out of the cell. Kelly asks if dude hit Eddie for her. She hopes he beats Eddie’s ass. Eddie says, he’s alive and well, and she says, it’s a shame. He says, it’s the same thing she was saying about Travis, and she tells him, go to hell. He says he’s going to sleep. If she shut the hell up, it would be great. She starts to sing Amazing Grace, and Eddie says, He ain’t coming to save her. She says, when anything happens with God, it stirs the devil. Something bad is going to happen to him. He thanks her for the revelation, and she says it’s going to be the person he least expects. He calls her Harriet, and tells her to fire up the Underground Railroad, and get her ass to sleep. She says, mark her words, and he says, goodnight. She says she feels sorry for him, and he says her ass is going to burn in the electric chair.
Marcie looks on the laptop, and tells Brad, she can’t believe all these guys. He says don’t remind him. She says they need to chat. She thinks they both need to be tested. With Alex doing all that, how could he know? She’s never had anything. Brad says, neither has he, but she thinks they should be on the safe side. Brad agrees, and she says he should take Alex back to court. She’s getting half of his income, and she’s not even taking care of the kids. She’s taking advantage of him. He says this is making him angry, and she says, he’s about be more angry. He says, don’t tell him anything else, and she gets up. She says, the baby is crying. She’ll get him. They can’t let him cry. She goes upstairs.
Marcie holds the baby, and says she’s sorry he was born into this. He doesn’t deserve this. Here he is though. No matter what anyone says to him, remember he’s special. Brad comes in, and she hands him the baby, saying, sorry. She wipes her tears away, and says, he’s so innocent and helpless. Alex is like a factory, and has a good man in her life, but she’s whoring around. Brad tells her, try to calm down, and she says she hopes the bitch is trapped in a ditch, and dead. She’s ruined every life she touches, and her marriage. Brad says, she was unhappy, and he can’t blame her for everything. What they can do is try to get through this, and move on. She says she thought they had it figured out, but… She leans on him, and he puts his arm around her. She says, he’s a beautiful baby, and Brad agrees he is.
At the bar, Nurse Pat (I finally found out her name) tells Rick, the sun is coming up. Take her home, but don’t think he’s sleeping with her. He’s not coming near her. He says he’s not ready to go, and she says, they’re closing. She’s going to call an Uber, and he says, she’s just leaving him? She says, he’s too drunk to drive, and he says they live on the same street, but she says she’s not walking. He says, it’s three blocks, and she says she’s been on her feet all day. He says they were dancing, and she says that was more on her feet. He wants one for the road, but she says he doesn’t need anything else. He says he needs her, and she says he needs a flea bath. He says, now he’s a dog too? and she says, a ho is more like it. He asks if she’s not giving him any information, and she takes an envelope out of her purse. She hands it to him, saying it’s a typed letter; it’s all she knows. He opens it, and looks at it. He says, she signed it, and thanks her. He says she had this all the time? and she says she doesn’t like Kelly, but she feels sorry for her. It’s a sworn affidavit. He says, damn, and she made him do all this? She says she wanted to see how long he would go on. He thanks her again, and she asks if he’s ready to take her home. He says, no, but he’ll walk her to the Uber. She says he was just trying to sleep with her to get information, and he says he was going to take one for the team. She says he’s an ass, and he says, she’s sexy, and they leave.
Steven stops by Kelly’s cell, and she thanks him for calling Lushion. He asks how she’s holding up, and she says, okay, except for the ass next door. He says, sorry about that, and Eddie says, come on. He’s had his fun, putting that dude in there. He’s done with this game, and still pays Esperanza’s mortgage. He’ll stop by when he wants. He says, open the damn cell door, but Steven says, not yet. He still has to process the paperwork. Eddie tells him, do what he needs to, and get him out. Steven says, get comfortable, but Eddie says he’s not playing. When he gets out, it’s going to beat Steven’s ass. Kelly and I laugh, and Eddie calls her the wicked witch. Steven says, it looks like Eddie will be there a while.
Esperanza sees Steven at the copy machine. He says, it’s a great day, and she says she loves how incredibly optimistic he is. She’s thought about what he told her, and she’s going to see someone. She’s not using the insurance, since she doesn’t want anyone to think she’s crazy. He says, asking for help isn’t crazy, but do it her way. She says she’s also going to subpoena Eddie. She’s serving him now. Steven says, it’s about time. Stand her ground; he has her back. She says he’s really patient, and thanks him.
Larry is sleeping next to his partner in leather. His wife says, good morning. He knows the rules. He says he does, and apologizes. He tells leather guy to wake up and go home. He should have been gone. She says Larry knows their agreement, and he asks how her weekend was. She says, good, and he asks who she was with. She says, Allison, and he says, she’s fun. His wife says, she’s become too needy. They have to get her off the list; she’s more trouble than she’s worth. He tells her, if she says so. She asks if leather guy can get dressed slower, and Larry says, boss lady is here; go in the other room. He leaves, and she tells Larry, Allison told her something interesting. Something happened with the church, and he should talk to Ian. Something suspicious is going on, and he should look into it. He says he’ll check it out at the office. He says leather guy was pretty good, but not as good as her. Does she want to have some fun before he leaves? She says, it would be breaking another rule, and he says, her loss. She asks if leather guy needs to be paid, and Larry says, leather guy paid him. She says, maybe they should keep him around.
Rick is sleeping on the couch, and Pat tells him, get his ass up. Why is he at her place? Did they…? He says, yeah, and she says, damn. She looks around for a condom, and says if she doesn’t find a wrapper, she’ll shoot his ass. He says they didn’t use one, and tells her, he’s joking. They didn’t have sex. She tells him, quiet. She’s communicating with her vagina. He asks what it said, and she says, okay. Her vagina said they didn’t do anything. He’d better not tell anybody. Get his sh*t and go.
Natalie tells Lushion, he needs to pick the kids up; she has to go into work. He says he thinks it’s time she quit to be a stay-at-home mom. She says she’s been working all her life, and he says, maybe it’s time for her to stop. She says then she’d have to depend on him for everything. He asks if she doesn’t trust him, and she says, it’s not that. She doesn’t want to be waiting for him to bring home a check; it doesn’t feel right. He says, it needs to start feeling right. He thinks he wants another baby. She says they have three kids, plus another kid, Justice. Is he serious? He says he is, and she says she’ll think about it. He says, so that’s a no? but she says she didn’t say that. She needs to think about it. She promises she will, and says she loves him.
Rick is waiting outside for Lushion, who says he really needs to call first. Rick says he has to bring him this, and gives him the affidavit. He says, it’s from Pat, the nurse in the jail infirmary. Lushion looks at it, and says, good. She gave him up. With what Kelly has, it’s all going to come together. They’ve got him now, and have to make sure the DA gets him.
Eddie tells the guard to bring his rookie bald ass over there. Kelly hopes he rots in there. He says, screw her, and she calls him stupid. He says she killed a man in cold blood, and they have it on camera. He says she’s a fake-ass Christian, and she says he’s not getting under her skin. He says she’s a dumb bitch, and Steven appears, and says, leave her alone. Eddie says, let him out, but Steven says he’s been charged with driving under the influence. Wait until Eddie sees what he blew. Eddie laughs, and Steven says, not that. His blood alcohol level. And there were drugs in his system. Eddie says, Steven thinks he gives a damn? Steven says he doesn’t think the DEA is going to be happy to find out. Eddie says Steven set him up, and Steven says he set himself up. Eddie is sure this is Steven and Lushion’s grand plan; it’s gang up on Eddie day. Steven says, it’s going to be gang raped when Eddie goes to prison day, and Eddie says he’s got it all figured out. Steven tells Eddie, think what he wants, and Kelly asks if Lushion is in yet. Steven says Lushion is on his way, and Kelly asks him to have Lushion come and see her right away. Steven says he will, and leaves.
Larry sees Randal digging in the trash, and laughs. Randal asks if Larry thinks it’s funny, and Larry says, not at all. Randal says, that bastard knocked him off a ladder, and destroyed his house. Larry says, sorry. Is he okay? Randal says, he wants them, and Larry asks if he has proof. Randal says he knows in his gut, and Larry says he can’t take Randal’s gut to court. Randal says he has a hard drive, but his camera is busted. Larry says he can take it to a friend who can pull what’s on it. Randal thanks him, and Larry asks where the cameras are. Randal says, hidden, and Larry says he didn’t see them. Randal says, that’s the point, and Larry says, touché. He wonders if Randal has what they did to Eddie on video; he wouldn’t be opposed to seeing it again, but Randal says he doesn’t have cameras in the house. Larry says, a hard drive can even show things Randal thinks he erased, and Randal says, maybe he shouldn’t give it to Larry. Larry asks what he’s hiding, and Randal says, nothing. Larry says, he can’t sue without evidence, and Randal tells him, go to hell. He’ll give some kid the hard drive. Larry says Randal needs all the control, and starts to walk away. Randal says, when he gets the evidence, he wants Larry to sue them, and Larry says, Randal’s wish is his command.
Eddie sings Nobody Knows the Trouble I’ve Seen, and I nearly die laughing. Esperanza goes to Kelly’s cell, and asks how she is. Kelly says, girl, and Esperanza says she knows. Kelly asks if Esperanza has seen her son, and Esperanza says she hasn’t. Kelly asks if she can go see him, and Esperanza says she will. Kelly asks if Esperanza knows who’s next door, and Esperanza says that’s why she’s there; to serve him. Kelly says, it’s going be fun, but Esperanza says, no; it’s not, but she’s finally ready. Kelly says, when she gets out, she’s going to fight like hell to take control of her life. It’s going to be a new day. Travis did this to a lot of other women, and she’s getting out. She got weak, and wondered what the hell was wrong with her, feeling sorry for herself. She didn’t do anything wrong. Travis came after her, and taunted her. All she did was defend herself. Esperanza suggests she stop talking about it in there. There’s about to be hell. She moves on to Eddie’s cell, and he says speak of the trouble he’s seen, here’s the bitch at his cell door. How did she know he was there? She says, the whole station knows. She didn’t come to talk. He asks why she’s there, and she hands him the subpoena. She says she sent a registered copy to his boss, and filed it at the courthouse. Eddie says she and Steven did this; they set him up. She says, how? and he says they got him a DUI. She says, really? Did they make him drink or do drugs? He did this sh*t all by himself. It’s done. He says, it isn’t done, and she says, this conversation is done. He says, no; she’s done. He’s going to kill this bitch. He doesn’t care how many cameras are filming him. If she takes his little girl, the only thing he loves, he’s going to kill her. She says she thinks his performance is on tape, but he says he doesn’t care. Her blood is going to be on the street. She walks away, and she and Kelly grab hands as she walks past. Eddie says Kelly’s ass is going to the electric chair, and she says, after him. He says he’s got a DUI; she’s a murderer, and they’re going to fry her ass. He tries to reach into her cell, but can’t. He says he’s only there for three days; her ass is going to be in the electric chair. He tosses the subpoena out of the cell, and yells for someone to open the damn door.
Esperanza says, Steven was listening. He says maybe he overheard. She asks if he heard Eddie say he’s going to kill her, but he tells her not to worry. She asks how long they can keep him, and he says, not long enough, but it’s okay. She’ll be fine. They can go out later, and have some fun on the range. He’ll turn her into a sharpshooter.
Ian wakes up on the kitchen island next to Alex. He tells her to wake up. She sits up, and says, what the hell? Where is she? He says, in his house, and she looks around. She asks, what the hell is going on? and he says she overslept. She asks how she got there, and what is she doing there? He says, she doesn’t remember? She came over last night. She says, no; what’s going on? She didn’t want that. Ian says, she came over, and she was drinking a lot. She says, did he just… He says, hold on, and she says he drugged and raped her. He says, no; he didn’t.
Next time, Alex tells Brad she never wanted this, Larry says they have to talk to the DA about Travis, Ian asks what Alex last remembers, Eddie grabs the Bible from Kelly, and Ian tells Randal to watch himself.
💸 A Reprieve…
At least this year, I don’t have that stomach clutch that comes just before April 15th. Even though there are a whole group of new clutches to replace it. Stay safe, and be cool, honey bunny.
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
I missed the beginning, but to make not very long story shorter, Cyrus has checked into the MetroCourt, and sees Carly in the restaurant. And Martin is now Nelle’s attorney in the custody case.
Nina tells Willow, the necklace is something her mom left her. Willow says, a family heirloom? Nina is fortunate. Her mother never believed in keepsake heirlooms. They always traveled light. Nina says, it’s not exactly an heirloom; more like something not fully complete. Willow asks, where’s the other half? and Nina says her mother strongly implied it’s in the hands of her biological daughter. When she found out Valentin and Sasha were scamming her, she began to doubt her daughter ever existed. Willow says she’s so sorry, and Nina says she shouldn’t have vented to Willow. She doesn’t know why she did. Willow certainly didn’t come to her for that, so what can she help Willow with? Willow says, with Nelle. They need to make sure Nelle doesn’t get Wiley.
Diane tells Sonny, Michael, and Sasha that Nelle is suing GH for medical malpractice and gross incompetence. Monica and Bobbie are also named in the suit. Sasha asks how Nelle can sue; the surgery improved Wiley’s quality of life. Diane says, Nelle claims she never signed the consent form, but Sonny says, she’s lying; it was signed. Diane says, Nelle claims it was a forgery. Because the form is apparently lost, they have no way to prove or disprove that. She doesn’t want to know the details, but it’s very convenient. Michael asks why members of his family are named, and Diane says, Monica is Chief-of-Staff, and Bobbie was the highest ranking nurse on duty that day. She’s choosing to go after both of Wiley’s grandmothers to force Michael to compromise. Michael says he won’t be intimidated. Nelle is both a physical and mental threat to Wiley, and shouldn’t get any custody, period.
Chase sees Sam at the hospital. She says she’s there picking up a vaccination form for her daughter. He can tell her parole officer that’s why she was there, and she hasn’t seen, nor does she have plans to associate with Jason. Chase says that’s not why he’s there. TJ was just admitted. Sam flashes back to Jason telling her there’s no line Cyrus won’t cross, and that he has TJ. Sam tells Chase, great. Is TJ back to work? Chase says, he’s there as a patient. He was dropped off in front of the hospital, beaten and unconscious. Curtis and Jordan are with him now, but she might want to inform her sister. She thanks him, and says, sorry for the attitude. Curtis asks Chase, what happened? and Chase says TJ was dropped off in a van; they’re finding out what they can about it. Portia joins them, and says she’s ordered a CT scan and an MRI. TJ might have a possible concussion, but has no broken bones. Her best guess is that he was chloroformed. They’re waiting for him to wake up; it should be soon.
Curtis joins Jordan in TJ’s room. He tells her that TJ probably has a concussion, but no broken bones. She says, thank God. That monster. She’s going to kill him. Curtis tells TJ, come on. They need him to open his eyes. Jordan says, they’re there with him, and TJ’s eyes open. He asks, what happened? Why is Jordan crying? Curtis says he knows how emotional his mother gets, and Jordan says they’re happy to see him. She kisses his hand.
Carly tells Jason, she was about to call security, but Jason says, there’s no need. She says she was just explaining to Cyrus that the hotel can’t accommodate him. All the rooms are booked – indefinitely. She gets a text from Sonny, saying it’s not an emergency, but she’s needed at home, and she says she has to take this. Jason says he’ll make sure Cyrus understands hotel policy, and Carly says she’ll make sure the staff brings Cyrus’s baggage to the lobby. She leaves, and Cyrus says, Jason Morgan. This meeting is long overdue.
Cyrus tells Jason, his employees said Jason is responsible for destroying his property; the warehouse at 457 Water Street. Jason flashes back to blowing up the warehouse, and Cyrus says, his work is impressively thorough. He envies Sonny having such a competent and trustworthy associate. Jason says he heard the warehouse was a total loss, along with the merchandise. Accidents can happen, again and again. Eventually, Cyrus’s suppliers are going to realize he’s the problem. Cyrus asks if that’s what Jason is counting on. That he loses so much money his associates feel compelled to remove him? He’s bound to be disappointed.
Sam knocks on Molly’s door. Molly finally opens it, saying she was just getting in the shower. Sam says she’s been calling, but Molly didn’t pick up. Molly says she’s sorry. She forgot to charge her phone. Sam tells her, get dressed. TJ was just admitted to the hospital. He didn’t break up with her. They think he may have been kidnapped.
TJ tries to sit up, but Curtis tells him, take it easy. Portia says, try not to move around too much. He asks how he got there, and Chase says they were hoping he’d help them figure that out. He’s been missing for days. Curtis says they thought he needed time to himself after Molly turned down his proposal. TJ says, that’s not what happened, and Jordan says she got texts from him, saying he needed time alone. He says he never sent any texts, and Chase asks if he remembers where he went the night he left Molly. TJ says, he remembers he needed to blow off steam… Portia says, if he’s not up to answering, they can come back, and Curtis says, it’s his call. TJ says, he’s okay. He was going to work to get his mind off of things. He was almost back at the hospital, when he heard someone running up on him. Before he could turn around, they jumped him. They laid him on the ground, and the next thing he knew, he was in a basement tied up to a chair. Chase asks if he can ID the kidnappers.
Molly asks, who would kidnap TJ? but Sam says she doesn’t know. She ran into Chase at the hospital, and he said TJ was badly beaten and dropped off there unconscious. His mother and Curtis are with him, and she told Chase she’d notify her. She tells Molly, get dressed. She has to wait outside, since she’s double parked. Hurry up. She leaves, and Brando comes out of the bedroom. He asks, who was that? I can’t say I blame Molly. Brando is a good looking dude.
Carly calls Sonny, and says she got his text. What’s going on? He says, nothing good unfortunately. Nelle is suing GH for performing surgery on Wiley without consent. Even better, Monica and Bobbie are named in the suit to get to Michael. Carly says, that’s crazy. The surgery helped Wiley’s quality of life. Nelle should be grateful, but she’s using it as ground to sue? Sonny asks if it surprises her, and Michael says Nelle cares more about hurting him than about Wiley’s health. Diane says, what matters more is that she says the document was forged. Sasha says Michael is doing what’s in the best interest of the child, while Nelle isn’t. What could be more clear? Carly asks how they stop the suit, and Diane says she might not be able to stop it, but she might be able to render it ineffectual.
Brando asks Molly, what happened? and she says she’s sorry. It’s so complicated, and not at all his fault. He says, tell him, and she says her boyfriend was brought in to the hospital. He says, she has a boyfriend? and she says she didn’t tell him because she thought he’d dumped her, but he was kidnapped. (Welcome to Port Charles, Brando!) His mom is the Police Commissioner, and she guesses he was targeted. She should have known he wasn’t ghosting her. Now he’s at the hospital, where he was dumped off, beaten and unconscious. She has to be with him. She struggles to put her boots on, and says, dammit! He tells her, take a breath, and she says he’s been great, and nothing is his fault. What happened was a complete mistake. He says he sees, and she says, it never happened. Got it? She’s sorry, but she’s got to go. She asks him to show himself out, and jets.
Willow tells Nina, Wiley was born with a heart defect. The hope was that it would improve over time, but it didn’t. He had a procedure that definitely helped, but he’s going to need another one in a few months. For some unfathomable reason, Nelle refuses to consent. If Nelle gets even joint custody, it will put Wiley’s life at risk. Nina says she’s sorry, and Willow says she knows how much Charlotte means to Nina. If Charlotte’s mother refused a procedure that would save her life, she knows Nina would do anything to make sure Charlotte was okay. Nina says, Crimson can’t do a piece on Nelle;she’s not a public figure. Willow says, there has to be some way, and Nina says she’s not the only one concerned about Nelle. We have some things in the works. Willow says, we? Like what? Nelle comes in with coffee, and Willow asks what she’s doing there. Nelle says she was about to ask the same thing, but Willow says she beat Nelle to it. Nelle says she works there. She’s Nina’s new assistant.
Jason tells Cyrus, by now, his luggage should be at the curb, waiting. Cyrus wonders if he’ll be allowed to reach the street, or is he going to meet with an unfortunate accident on the way down? Jason says he shouldn’t have come there, and shouldn’t come back. Cyrus asks him to kindly relay a message to Sonny. He’s not going anywhere. Jason says, it’s time for Cyrus to go, and Cyrus smiles.
Carly has joined the others at Sonny’s, and Diane says, if Michael is granted sole custody, the lawsuit will look frivolous and vindictive. Sonny’s phone rings, and he says, everyone knows Diane is brilliant. Do whatever she can to make sure Nelle gets nowhere near his grandson. Diane says, if only it was that simple, and Carly asks what she’s going to do. Diane says she’s going to petition the court to move the date of the custody hearing, using Wiley’s health as a concern, and who makes the final decisions about his medical care. Michael asks if she thinks they’re prepared, and he says, short of him marrying the perfect woman with a spotless past – she tells Sasha, sorry – he looks as good as any single man can as a father. The closer they are to Nelle attempting to skip town, the better they look. Michael tells her to pull the trigger, and Diane says she’s on her way. She leaves, and Sasha says, it’s so unfair; Nelle making Michael choose between Wiley and his grandparents. Michael says it will only make them want to protect Wiley more. Carly can’t believe Nelle dragged in Bobbie and Monica in a vendetta against her. That’s how it started. What better way to hurt the people she loves, but they’re adults; Wiley is just a little boy.He has no idea he’s being used as a weapon. Enough. It started with her, and she’s going to be the one to finish it. She walks out, and Michael says, that didn’t sound good.
TJ says he was left alone for the most part, until he was dropped there. Molly appears, and says, oh my God, rushing to TJ’s bedside. She says she’s been so scared. She had no idea what happened to him. They hug, and Curtis suggests they be given some privacy. The others leave, and Molly says she’s been going out of her mind. Tell her what happened.
Sam tells Jordan that she knows Jordan was protecting TJ, and knows why. Jordan asks how much she told Molly, but Sam says, only what Chase told her; that TJ was beaten and dropped off at the hospital. Jordan says, please don’t tell her anything more. If she and TJ know everything, it will put them in more danger.
Brando goes to the garage, which he apparently didn’t bother to lock. He looks at Molly’s estimate, and flashes back to meeting her, and her saying she thought her wrecked car was the perfectly rotten end to a perfectly rotten day, but she thinks this may been a turning point. Brando looks bummed, and flashes back to Molly asking him to just give her his word that he’ll give her a fair price. He says he gives her his word, and she kisses him. He looks even more bummed.
Molly kisses TJ’s hand, and says, when he cut her off, and wouldn’t pick up her calls or return her texts, she thought he never wanted to see her again. She thought they were done because she turned down his proposal. He says he’s so sorry, and she asks why he’s apologizing. She’s the one who lost faith, and jumped to the worst possible conclusion. She should have known he wouldn’t give up on them. He says, if the positions were reversed, he probably would have thought the same thing; if she’d taken off into the night pissed off. His mom was getting texts, supposedly from him. Of course (🍷) she thought he was icing her out. But he’s okay now. They’re okay. There’s nothing they can’t take back. (D’oh!)
Molly says, right. Nothing happened that they can’t take back. He says he knows she felt that he was pressing the subject of marriage, and she says they don’t need to pick up that conversation right now; he’s hurt. He says, it looks worse than it is. He has some bruises, he’s dehydrated, and has a bad headache from the chloroform, but his mouth still works. The whole time he was tied up, he kept thinking what he’d say to her if he had a chance, and here they are. This is their chance. He tells her, bear with him, and she says she’s listening. He says he thought too soon that marriage was something they both wanted, and she said the opposite; they didn’t need it, and were better off without it. They surprised each other, and they both dug in. That part is no surprise since they’re both stubborn. She says she was ridiculous, and he says she was honest about what she wanted. He was too disappointed to accept it, but when he was walking back, he thought of a real compromise he didn’t consider. She asks what he means, and he says, domestic partnership.
Sonny goes to the garage, and asks Brando, how’s business? Brando says, so far, so good. He got another customer yesterday. Sonny asks, what kind? and Brando says, some woman who messed up the undercarriage of her hybrid. He doesn’t think it has anything to do with Sonny’s business, but Sonny says he’s got to be careful. The threat to his family is at high level. Brando asks, what happened? and Sonny says, the man behind the shootings, Cyrus Renault, was let out of prison last night. Brando asks if Sonny’s family is still a target, and Sonny says, that remains to be seen, but Brando is part of the family now, and is in Port Charles because of Sonny’s request. Sonny tells Brando, watch his back, and leaves.
Chase tells Jordan that he needs to finish the interview with TJ; the next 24 hours are crucial. She says she’ll take the reins on this one, but he says, with all due respect, he doesn’t think that’s a good idea. Jordan flashes back to Cyrus telling her she did a great job, and Jordan saying, she did what he wanted for one reason only; to get her son back. If TJ isn’t released unharmed, Cyrus will be too dead to enjoy it.
Curtis leaves a message at the prison for Shawn. Tell him his son TJ has been admitted to the hospital. He’s expected to make a full recovery. Portia hears, and says she’s sorry. She certainly didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but it sounded like he was leaving a message for… He says, TJ’s father. She says she thought Thomas was his father, and Curtis says, his biological father. Jordan was married to Thomas, and when he went overseas… Portia says, she had an affair. That explains a lot. He says, about what? and she says the way he ended things when he found out she was married.
Portia says, when Curtis found out she was married, he broke it off, and had a strong reaction. Curtis says, maybe too strong. He knows life is complicated, and things happen, but for him, he’s not messing around with no married woman. She says she thought he’d been cheated on, but it was his brother. He says, well-intentioned people made some bad choices back in the day, him included. But at the end of it all, there was TJ; a smart, principled, likeable, handsome young man. There’s nothing to regret about him.
Chase tells Jordan, she’s the victim’s mother. An experienced attorney will have a field day, given her connection. She knows she shouldn’t be directly involved with this. She says he’s right; okay. He says he’s going to talk to GH security, and see if they pulled the surveillance footage. Don’t worry. They’ll find out exactly how it went down. When he’s gone, Jordan tells Sam, that’s what she’s afraid of.
Sonny asks Jason, what happened with Cyrus? and Jason says, Cyrus checked into the MetroCourt. He was in the restaurant, and made a point of talking to Carly. When Jason got there, she was throwing Cyrus out, but she kept her cool. She told him the hotel was full, and Jason stayed to make sure Cyrus left. Sonny says, anything else? and Jason says, Cyrus is gone from the hotel, but he’s not leaving Port Charles. He said to give Sonny a message. He’s not going anywhere.
TJ asks what Molly thinks. They’ll have most of the rights that benefit married couples, and there will be a record with an official stamp of their relationship, without sacrificing her belief in something dated and traditional. Another huge plus is, they can throw a big party. He knows he’s days late, but what does she say? Does she want to spend the rest of her life with him? She says, of course (🍷) she wants to spend the rest of her life with him; absolutely. Domestic partnership is genius. He tells her, don’t cry, but she says, they’re happy tears. She’s thrilled that he’s back, and safe. He says he can’t wait to get out and go home with her. They can put all this behind them, and focus on the future. Sound good? She says, perfect.
Nelle tells Willow, Nina hired her as an assistant. She just started. Willow asks why Nina would do that. Nina flashes back to telling Carly about why she’s going to give Nelle a job, and that she’s in a perfect position to turn the tables. She tells Willow that she needed an assistant, and Willow says, she chose Nelle? Nelle says she’s right there. Nina was nice enough to give her a position that will look good with the court; she now has gainful employment. It might be the start of a beautiful career. Willow asks if Nina has any idea what she’s doing to Wiley. Nelle says she doesn’t know why Willow thinks it’s her business. She’s not Wiley’s mother, and means absolutely nothing to Wiley. Willow storms out.
Tomorrow, Nelle tells someone to admit they’re just like her, Willow says they have to figure out how to keep Wiley safe, and Jason asks Josslyn what she wants him to do.
😈 Just Sayin’…
Jeff Kober is awesome as Cyrus. I’ve always loved Faison. He’s a bad guy, but he worked from a place of emotion. Cyrus has no emotions, so I’m loving hating him.
Vanderpump Rules
The guys hang out at the skate park. Jax thinks it’s an aggressive place. In his interview, Brett says he wanted to stay under the radar, but Schwartz is making them stick out like a sore thumb. In Schwartz’s interview, he says it’s safe to say he’s getting too old for this sh*t. Jax says, it’s all ex-pros and people trying to be pro. He asks if Schwartz squashed things with Katie, and Schwartz says, it’s a little tense at home. He was caught off guard, and was tired and drunk. He disagreed with her reaction, but shouldn’t have said it out loud. Jax says it’s inevitable that the girls react that way, and Schwartz says, it was a good moment turned sour.
Danica, Brett, Raquel, James, Ariana, and Lala go to an ax throwing place. The instructor says, house rules. They throw together, and don’t do anything stupid. Raquel is the only one who gets it in the center, or even gets it to stick to the target. In her interview, she says she had no clue she would ax-ceed everyone. She’s a bad-ax bitch. Dayna asks Brett if he’s coming to her birthday party, and he says, definitely. He thinks they should hang out outside of work. They only see each other at parties. In Dayna’s interview, she says Brett is totally good to talk to. They built a friendship at work, so it’s not forced. A producer asks what she likes about Brett, and she says, his abs. Brett suggests lunch, and Dayna is afraid Scheana will be weird about it. He says, she’s not allowed to be weird about it.
Lisa goes to SUR, and meets Guillermo. He asks how she is, and she says, okay now. In her interview, she says she was in London for her mother’s funeral. Our parents are instrumental in how we deal with things, and she has to pull herself together because it’s who they made her. She tells Guillermo that she heard something happened on Saturday. He says, the managers only have to serve two tables, so they can take care of their other duties. Danica got a food order wrong, and a table was overcharged. The customers had to leave, so SUR had to call them later to tell them they were overcharged by $200. Lisa asks son Max to send Danica over. Danica joins them, and Lisa says she heard Danica screwed up a table. They had to phone the people and apologize, and it’s not the kind of business they run. What went wrong? Danica says, it was an honest mistake. She’d had a stressed day. Lisa says, it’s a job. Danica apologizes, saying she shouldn’t bring her problems to work, but Lisa says she’s done it before. We flash back to when Danica was suspended for hitting Brett. Lisa tells her that she had an attitude problem at TomTom, and was rude to Richardson, who’s worked there for many years. Danica insists she doesn’t have an attitude, and in Lisa’s interview, she says, Danica wants to have a career in the restaurant business, but she’s a little rough around the edges. In Danica’s interview, she says she doesn’t have an effing attitude.
Schwartz tells Katie, he was over-zealous at the skate park, and ices his knee. He asks how she’s feeling, and Katie says, better. He says it’s nothing they haven’t sailed before, but Katie says, not for a long time. He says he thinks she overreacted, and she says, it’s the times they live in. He tells her not to be a social justice warrior. He’s still dumbfounded and confused. It was a harmless prank, and when the dust settled, she was still sulking. She says, because he was rude to her, and he says he thought she was self-indulgent and immature. They spent a lot of time and money on the prank. She says, then it was a waste, but he says, it wasn’t for her. In Katie’s interview, she says she just wants an apology. He’s entitled to his opinion, even if it’s wrong. Schwartz says he felt she was super wrong, but he doesn’t like being confrontational or mean spirited. He’s sorry that he talked to her that way; he was in d*ck mode, and knew he’d feel bad later. The next morning, he had a shame hangover. In his interview, Schwartz says he was definitely wrong, and doesn’t know why he got so mad. He tells her that he apologized to Beau. Katie says, Stassi is pressing Beau to propose, but he’s planning it. We see a clip of Beau asking for Katie’s help with the plan. She tells Schwartz that he pulled off an elaborate proposal, and Schwartz says, in hindsight, he should have had cops arrest him. She tells him, stop.
Stassi, Katie, and Kristen meet for lunch at Villa Blanca. In Stassi’s interview, she says they’re having a Witches of WeHo party, and have to make a plan. As they were working on the wine, she realized she preferred being a dictator, and not part of a democracy. Kristen says they can make any location pretty. She doesn’t think it will be hard with all the contacts they have. Lisa stops by with friend Elena. Puffy! They ask how Lisa is, and she says, it was unexpected and difficult. It’s easier not to talk about it, but thanks them for acknowledging it. She asks Katie about going back to Vegas. In Stassi’s interview, she says Lisa didn’t necessarily spill the tea about Katie and Schwartz’s getting married a second time in Vegas.
Dayna meets Brett at a restaurant, and they order drinks. She tells him that she invited Max to her party, since she wants to stay friends. He says it’s nice of her. He’s only known her two months, but can see she has a great head on her shoulders. It’s not easy to come by. She says he seems to look for depth in people, but still loves a YouTuber Instagram model. He says that’s not his type, and thinks she’s capable of understanding him. He’s had one relationship that didn’t work. He always put himself second. In Brett’s interview, he says he was literally in the backseat, like a child who isn’t allowed to sit up front. Dayna says she’s been there, but when her mom died, she knew she had to put herself first. She and her mom loved hard, so it’s been hard for her. In Dayna’s interview, she says, every day without her mom is hard, and it’s amplified on her birthday, since they had the same one. She’s going to try to celebrate, but even acknowledging it at all is hard. Brett says he’s sorry.
Stassi gets a message that Lisa wants to talk to her, and in Stassi’s interview, she wonders when she’ll be able to summon people. That is gold. Lisa asks, what happened? and Stassi says once Brittany and Jax were married, she thought, why wouldn’t Beau propose the next day? Lisa says they’ll get him to propose, and Stassi says she’s a control freak with everything else in her life. She wears the Spanx and the pants. Lisa says she’s told Stassi, never admit to wearing Spanx. She heard there was dissention in the camp, and asks if she put her foot in it, saying something about Vegas. If Kristen knows, she’ll be seriously pissed. Stassi says, who cares?
At Castaway Studios, West Hollywood, Beau and his boss look over resumés. Schwartz and Katie come in, and Schwartz says he’s auditioning for the role of a-hole boyfriend and friend. Katie says, a-hole husband, and he says he forgot. Beau says he wanted to be far away, so Stassi won’t know he’s meeting with them. In Beau’s interview, he says he’s been planning this for six months. Stassi has no clue. He asked Katie and Schwartz to help, since they’re the only people who can keep a secret. He says his mom and dad are giving him the rings, and shows them a photo on his laptop. In Schwartz’s interview, he says he’s bedazzled. The rings are beautiful, and he’s admiring the fact that Beau doesn’t have to pay for them. Beau says Stassi loves graveyards, and after Stassi’s grandmother passed away, she wanted to look for a mausoleum for herself. He wants to hide the ring box there. He’s thinking two weeks. In his interview, Beau says he wants to marry Stassi because she’s the most important person in his life. They laugh together. She’s funny and charming, and he doesn’t want to be around anyone else more than her. He thinks they’re going to have an amazing future, and beautiful kids. He tells Katie and Schwartz not to say anything, and Schwartz says, don’t tell Jax. Katie says, or Kristen
Kristen’s calls Scheana, who’s working at SUR. She says she’s on her way to get some champagne for Dayna’s birthday. She doesn’t want to show up empty handed. She tells Scheana about Lisa saying something about Vegas at Villa Rosa. Stassi and Katie knew what she was talking about, and she clearly isn’t invited to what’s basically Schwartz and Katie’s second wedding. Max also told her that he’s going. She introduced Katie and Schwarz, and they’ve been best friends for over a decade. She was a bridesmaid the first time. Scheana says she’s not invited either. In Kristen’s interview, she says, it’s super hurtful. Katie is being a bitch. Kristen thinks Katie has tunnel vision, and they all just revolve around Katie’s problems. Katie was telling her how sad it was, and she needs a break, while they’re doing monumental things she’s not invited to. It feels final.
Brittany comes into work at SUR. Peter asks how she feels about being back, and she says, excited. He asks if she remembers the table numbers. In her interview, she says, now that they’re married, she doesn’t want to be in a position where Jax feels that she’s not contributing financially. We flash back to Jax bitching about taking care of her. She says, they split the cost of the wedding 50/50, and each put the same amount of down payment on the house. If it means going back to SUR and waiting tables, so be it. She tells Peter, she’s getting right back in it.
In Scheana’s interview, she says she’s getting her body ready for the next round in freezing her eggs. She’s on a new medication, and wants to throw up. Dayna wants to talk to her, and says when they were at the ax throwing thing, Brett asked her out to lunch. When they went out, she felt a connection. She’s not saying anything will happen, but wants to be open with Scheana. In Dayna’s interview, she says it wasn’t that long ago that Scheana was a sh*thead to her because she was dating Max. She wants to be transparent, so Scheana doesn’t try to ruin her life. Scheana says she and Brett are just friends, and Dayna says Brett told her she’d said maybe in the future it would be something else. She doesn’t want to step on Scheana’s toes. In Scheana’s interview, she says, Dayna is basically going out with Brett to throw an F-U in Max’s face. It shows what kind of person she is. Whatever delusion you need to get you through the day, Scheana. She tells Dayna, she’s good.
Dayna and Lala visit with Ariana. They sit by the pool, and Ariana says it’s her favorite day ever. She asks how Dayna is doing, and Dayna says she had a weird moment with Scheana. Brett asked her to lunch, so she told Scheana, who said they’re all friends and it’s great. Ariana says, Scheana does feel some type of way. In Ariana’s interview, she says, sometimes it’s hard for Scheana to let her guard down. If she cares and the guy doesn’t feel the same way, she doesn’t want to care. Lala asks how Dayna feels about Brett, and Dayna says, he’s a perfect specimen of a man (really?). She had blinders on when she was seeing Max, and might be interested. She’s looking forward to hanging out with him. Ariana asks if she invited Max to her birthday party, and Dayna says she did, but Ariana says Max doesn’t know if he’s invited.
At TomTom, Brett tells Tom that he went to lunch with Dayna. Tom says she’s hanging out with Lala and Ariana at their house today.
In Dayna’s interview, she says there’s an open invite to her birthday party. Everyone’s invited. She tells Lala and Ariana that she didn’t text Max specifically, but he’s invited. Ariana thinks she should tell him, and Dayna says she needs to tell everyone what time to come anyway. She texts Max, and says he texted her back, all good. Lala says, someone’s bitter.
Stassi and Beau go out to eat at not-SUR. Stassi says she can only raise one arm at a time, and Beau says he doesn’t get impractical dresses. He’s going be the funniest parent, and she isn’t. She says, Katie was talking to Schwartz about being an a-hole. He says, the whole night was effed up; even they were fighting. We see a clip of them arguing, and Stassi says it’s not Beau’s problem to make them not feel bad. He sent them a text saying they were going to be late because they were fighting about being married, and she doesn’t like being vulnerable like that. He apologizes, and says he’s not trying to hurt her. He’s doing everything in his time because it is his time. In his interview, he says, seeing Stassi this way breaks his heart. He wants to tell her, but it will ruin the magnificence of the surprise. He tells her that he doesn’t want to talk about it right now, and she says she’s not hungry. He tells her, please be hungry. He wanted it to be a great date night. She says she’s not mad, but excuses herself for a moment. In Stassi’s interview, she says, it’s incredibly frustrating. She knows it will work out, and doesn’t want to be that person who gives an ultimatum. She’ll have to stick with it and suffer.
Dayna’s sister Brittni accompanies her to TomTom for the party. In Danica’s interview, she says she and Dayna have had their ups and downs, but she likes Dayna. Dayna gives her sh*t for having to use a breathalyzer, and she gives Dayna sh*t for her horrible taste in men. It’s the perfect friendship. Somehow, I don’t think so. In James’s interview, he says it’s hard being in the booth. Everyone else is drinking. Dayna introduces her sister to everyone. Lisa drops by, surprising everybody, and in her interview, she says she doesn’t normally go to her staff’s birthday parties, but she likes Dayna. Dayna is a sweet girl, and she thinks birthdays are a big deal, so she wants to be supportive. She tells Brittni that she’s glad she’s there for her sister. Schwartz asks Ariana if she wants to be a bridesmaid or groomsman. Kristen sits with Katie, saying she wants to get the conversation out of the way. Katie and Stassi were talking about Vegas, and she had no idea what they were talking about. She starts crying, and says she didn’t know she was on the no fly list. Katie says she just invited family, but Kristen says Katie invited everyone but her. Katie says she’s not angry, but thinks they need a break from each other. Kristen says Katie looked her in the eye, and said they weren’t sisters, friends, or best friends. Katie says they haven’t been for years. She says she’ll always love Kristen, and Kristen says she wishes she could see that. In Kristen’s interview, she wishes Katie would spare her the bullsh*t breakup chat. She tells Katie, if she loved her, she wouldn’t walk away from her. At the bar, Lala says she’s going to get white girl wasted on Diet Coke.
Dayna asks if she can talk to Scheana. She doesn’t want to deal with any bullsh*t from her, and asks what she said to Max. Scheana says, Max felt weird that Dayna is going out with one of his friends. Dayna says she asked Scheana if it was cool because she thought Scheana liked him. Scheana says Dayna said it was just a casual lunch, and Dayna says it was, and Max doesn’t get a vote. In her interview, Dayna says she can date Max’s dad if she wants. And his dad is hot too. Scheana says she doesn’t want to talk about it. Scheana seriously needs many years of therapy.
Lala asks Scheana what she and Dayna were fighting about, and Scheana insists that she doesn’t have feelings for Brett. Possibly maybe in the future. Lala says she’s noticed that Scheana always has a new hot guy she’s saying is her best friend. She tells Lala that she likes have a single guy best friend. We flash back to Scheana telling James that Adam is her best friend, and saying she’s friends with Max and Brett. Lala wants Scheana to be honest about her feelings. She wants to make everything seem perfect. Scheana says she’s over Brett, but wipes some tears away. She says, it’s her life. She’s doing this single, on her own, at 34, and divorced. She’s optimistic that the right guy will come along, and want kids with her. She’s doing this for a baby, and feels overwhelmed. In Scheana’s interview, she says she’s frustrated. She sees everyone around her having what she wants to have again. She didn’t think she’d be where she is at 34.
Lisa asks why Brett looks worried, and tells him, enjoy the ride. He says the only one he’s had lately is with her in the car on Pride. It’s the best one so far. In Lisa’s interview, she says she has underwear older than Brett, and she’s probably wearing it. He asks where Ken is, and she says, waiting outside. After 35 minutes, she’ll have to put out later. In Brett’s interview, he says he’s respectful. He likes Ken and would never try anything, but the feeling he gets in his stomach when he sees Lisa is awesome. Jax watches Charli have a nip slip. Stassi tells Beau that Kristen found out about Vegas. She gets it’s not her wedding, and she’s never going to be engaged, but she’s embarrassed about last night. He says he’s ready, but not ready. She says, when she hears he’s not ready… He says they’re going to die old together. He loves her so effing much.
Charli and Danica bring out the cake, with Dayna’s picture on it (ew!). Everyone sings Happy Birthday, and Dayna blows out the candles. In her interview, Dayna says she left her entire life in Seattle, and thought her first birthday there would be spent eating a bowl of mac and cheese, and hotdogs. To have all these people celebrating her, and making her feel special is amazing. She lifts up the cake, and takes a bite, and Tom pushes the plate into her face. Cake is smushed into various people’s faces, and Dayna asks if Charli wants a bite. Charli takes off, but Dayna gets her, and Charli says her skin care regimen can’t afford this. Whatever that means. Dayna smears cake on Brett’s face, and they kiss. Scheana sees, and says, if anyone hits her with cake, she’s going to lose her effing sh*t. She jets, and Dayna kisses Brett again.
Next time Brett says he licked Dayna’s face on her birthday, Danica says Dayna deserves better than Brett, Beau calls Stassi’s father, and Kristen says she can’t take fighting with her two best friends.
If Loving You Is Wrong
Randal grabs Marci, and takes her phone. She tells him to give it back, and he says she destroyed his house. She asks what he’s talking about, and tells him, get out. He asks, was it Brad? and she calls him crazy. She tells him to give her the phone, and he says, so she can call Brad? She kicks him in the nuts, and he crawls to the kitchen counter, pulling himself up. He says, you bitch, and she says, you da bitch. He laughs, and sees the ring. He asks, what the hell is this? She says her engagement ring. Brad asked her to marry him. Now that they’re both divorced, that’s what she’s going to do. He calls her a bitch again, and she says she heard he and Larry did it. She heard he’s into bondage and swinging. Good to know. He says, Alex wasn’t the only one, and Marcie says, she was the only one who fooled him. Karma’s a bitch. Get out now. She opens the door, and tells him to give her the damn phone. He says he’ll leave, so he can think and plot all the ways ruin her life. Marcie says, they’re divorced, and he says she has no idea how many mind games he can play. She says he has no idea how many ways her fiancé can kick his ass. He throws her phone on the floor, and stomps on it. She hits him with a golf club, and keeps hitting him, as he crawls away in the hallway. I nearly die laughing.
Randal gets in his car. He says, I got you bitch, and calls Larry, leaving a message for Larry to call him back. He says, screw it, and calls again, saying he’s coming to Larry’s house. He drives away.
Brad gets to Alex’s house, and the babysitter says she’s sorry. He tells her, don’t worry, and she says she didn’t know what else do. He says he’s glad she called, and she says she had a hard time finding the number, since Alex didn’t leave it. She has to get going, and he asks if she called Alex. She says, a few times; she last saw Alex down the street at the neighbors. He pays her, and says, get home safe. She tells him that the kids and baby are asleep, and he goes upstairs. She lets herself out.
Eddie goes into Esperanza’s bedroom, where she and Steven are sleeping. He strips down, and gets in the bed next to her. He says, hey, baby, and she says, what the hell…? Steven jumps up, grabbing his gun. Esperanza asks what Eddie is doing there, and he says he misses her and he’s high. She says, just get up, and Steven tells her, get him out of here. She says he’s sleeping, and Steven says, fine. He’ll drag Eddie’s ass out. She says, obviously Eddie has problems, and Steven says Eddie doesn’t belong in her house. She asks what Steven wants her to do right now, and tells him, calm down, be a decent person, and let him sleep it off. Steven says he’ll take Eddie’s ass out, so he can sleep it off outside, and she tells him, stop. He asks what the hell is wrong with her, and she says she’s spent way too much time trying to help Eddie. Steven says, she’d better give it up; Eddie isn’t going to change. She says they still have kids, and he suggests she file the papers and get custody. Does she want her daughter to see this? She says, of course not, and he says, then do something. She says if Steven drags Eddie out, her daughter will see him sleeping in the car. Steven says, he’ll drive Eddie somewhere. She asks, where? but Steven doesn’t know. He’s trying so hard to wrap his head around this. Eddie is sick, but her protecting him is more sick. She says she’s learning how to let go, and he says, this is nuts. She says he’s right, and he tells her, stop saying that. She knows she has to do something, and he asks her to let him take Eddie somewhere. She says, okay; where? and he says she’s asking the wrong questions. He grabs Eddie, and Eddie says he’s drunk; let him sleep it off. Steven says, don’t worry. Eddie will get sleep where he’s going. Eddie stands up, wrapping a blanket around himself. He says he’s going to be sick, and Steven says they’re taking Eddie’s truck.
While he’s in the middle of an S&M scenario, Larry’s phone rings. It’s Marcie, who tells him, Randal showed up at the house. She’s thinking of getting a restraining order. He says, okay, and hearing various sounds, she asks what he’s doing. He says, it’s late, and she asks if he’s moaning. He says, that hurts, and she says, is he doing his S&M sh*t? This is terrible. Larry says, she called him (he has a point); what does she think is going on? She says, eww! and he says, it’s pretty good. She asks if he could stop for a second; she’s having an issue. He says he’ll take care of it first thing in the morning. She asks, what the hell is that noise? and he says, an air compressor. She says, goodnight; they’ll deal with it another time. After she hangs up, she says, weirdos everywhere.
Since Larry can’t catch a break, there’s a knock at the door and the bell rings. He yells, come in, and Randal stomps in, saying he wants to get her. Dammit, Larry. Larry says, it’s the weekend. He’s enjoying his personal time. Randal sees the other guy, completely in leather, including a mask, and asks, who this is? Larry asks the guy, what’s his name again? and Randal says, forget it. Larry tells the nameless guy to go get something to drink, and the guy and his assless chaps walk to the kitchen. Randal thinks Larry needs to wash down the ottoman. Larry asks if Randal wants a drink, but Randal says he doesn’t want a damn drink. He wants to hurt Marcie. Larry says Randal interrupted his personal time, and he doesn’t know what the problem is. Randal asks if he knows Marcie is getting married to Brad. Larry laughs, and Randal says he wants them served. Larry asks him to define wanting to be served, and Randal says he’s serious. Larry says Randal is seriously blowing his night, and tries to get Randal interested. Randal tells him, stop it. He doesn’t know why he came there. Larry says Randal knows where to come to have a good time. He approaches Randal, but Randal pushes him away, saying he’s not into this sh*t. He’s coming to Larry’s office in the morning. Have the papers ready for him to sue Marcie. (I’m wondering what he thinks he can sue her for, but okay). Randal says he doesn’t know what this sh*t is all about, but it’s sick. Larry says, but it’s so much fun.
Marcie goes to Alex’s house, and says, she’s not back yet? What the hell? He doesn’t think something happened to her, does he? He says, she was upset, and probably went out on her own. She’s not answering the phone; it just keeps ringing. He asks why Marcie is there; did she think something was going on? She says, no, it’s not that. The door to the apartment is broken. He asks how that happened, and she says, Randal came over. He says, that SOB needs to leave her alone. She says beat the hell out of him with a golf club, but the door is broken, so she came there. He says he’ll fix it when he goes back. He asks if she wants to stay there, and she asks if he’s sure. He says, it is his house, and she says, what if Alex doesn’t come back tonight? The kids will see her in the morning. He says it’s not like Alex. He’s sure she’ll be back. Marcie says Brad thinks he knows her; he thinks he needs more proof. He says he’s been trying to get to her contacts on the laptop, but it’s password protected. She tells him to try Peppa. It’s the name Alex used when she called Randal. He says, nice; it worked. He sees Alex’s profile on Hook Ups, with her name as Jennifer Peppa. He says, she didn’t waste any time, and Marcie tells him, look at the dates; she’s been dating a while. Brad says, unbelievable. All this time, she’s been cheating on him. Marcie tells him not to get upset, but he says he’s just shocked. She says, you never know someone, do you? He reads she can only meet in the afternoon at the Maxine hotel, and says, there are tons of them. Marcie says, wow.
Ian tells Alex to get dressed; he’ll walk her home. She says, no. He tells her that she’s going to regret it in the morning, and she says she wants to do it again. He says he doesn’t think he has it left in him, and she says she’s going to have a little more to drink. He says she’s mixing liquor, but she says, you only live once. She’s tired of living what everyone else wants her to do. She’s doing what she wants now. He says she has to take care of her kids; she’s a mother. She says she found out too late she’s not into that. He says, she’s pretty good, but she asks, how would he know what she’s like with her kids? He says, what about Lushion and Natalie? and she says he doesn’t understand. She’s so sick of all of it. She hates the clothes and the neighborhood. She wants to live in a loft with no bedroom and no curtains, and walk around naked all day. Look at her. She’s had three kids, and this is still what she looks like. Her own body doesn’t want her to have this life. Ian says, tomorrow, she’s going to regret this, but she says, no talking about tomorrow. This is why she wouldn’t drink with Brad. She’d get depressed, and he’d say, oh darling, it’s okay, with that stupid accent. Ian laughs, and Alex says, sex with Brad and his mushroom penis was a chore. Nothing like with him. He asks, what about Randal? and she says, that loser? He says, and the others? And she says, whatever. Ian is number three on her list. He says she has a list? and she says, her fun time. He asks, how many? and she says, don’t worry about it. She drinks some more, and he says, he’s number three? She says, number three on her top ten list. He says, thanks, I guess. She says, one guy… she never felt that way with anybody, but she never called him again. She’s not calling Ian again either. Sorry, but she just wanted it to be one time. He says he figured, but she had a baby by one of them. She tells him, don’t talk about the baby. She’s frustrated. He says, she’s drunk, and she says, both. She doesn’t want talk about that. He says he’ll make her something to eat, but she says, that’s for the morning. Come on. She kisses him, and they get busy again.
Steven brings Eddie to the jail, and parks him on a bench. An officer asks if he should get some clothes, but Steven says, don’t get a damn thing. Go push some papers. He’s booking Eddie’s ass. The officer leaves, and Eddie asks where he is. Steven says he’s somewhere where he can get some sleep. Steven fingerprints him, and Eddie asks if he’s being arrested. Steven says, yes, sir, and Eddie tells him, get out of here with that, but Steven says, don’t resist him. Eddie asks where his clothes are, and calls Steven a weirdo. Steven asks if Eddie remembers where he just was, but he says, no. Steven asks what his name is, and he says, Eddie. Steven says, Eddie what? and he says, Eddie Eddie. Eddie says he’s about to whoop Steven’s ass. He asks if Steven is filming him with his phone, and Steven says he is. Eddie says he’s getting out, and Steven cuffs him to the bench. He finds the officer, and asks what he’s got. The officer says, drunk and disorderly; the guy was angry in a bar. Steven tells him to put Eddie in with him. The officer says, it’s his funeral, and Steven uncuffs Eddie. Eddie asks what he’s doing, and Steven says, taking his ass to his home for the night. Eddie says, actually, Steven is really bossy, and Steven drags him to the cell next to Kelly. She says, what the…? and Steven drops Eddie into a bunk. Kelly asks if Steven can get Lushion on the phone. He says Lushion will be there in the morning, but she says, it can’t wait. She needs to talk to him now. He says, it’s late, and Lushion is going to be pissed, but she says, he’ll be fine. Trust her. He says, okay, and makes the call.
The phone wakes Lushion up, and he asks if Steven knows what time it is. Steven says, sorry. He’s at the station. Lushion asks why he’s there this late, and Steven says he’s logging trash. Kelly needs to talk to him. He gives Kelly the phone, and Kelly tells Lushion, someone came to see her. Sister Margaret. She brought Kelly a bible, and inside were pictures of women, dates, and settlements, all from Travis’s church. Lushion says, really? and she says she has it right there. He says, good. Hold on until the morning. She says, this will get her off, right? He says he doesn’t know. He tells her a guy named Tyrel was at her house; does she know him? He said he was Justice’s father, and was looking for a key. She asks if he’s still there, and Lushion says he told Tyrel to leave, but he’s coming back. She tells Lushion that he can let Tyrel in. He says, it doesn’t sound like she wants him there, but she says, no; he can stay. She thanks him, and asks how Justice is. He says, good, and she says, make sure Tyrel doesn’t see Justice until she’s out of there. He says he’ll see her tomorrow, and she thanks him. She gives Steven back his phone, thanking him too. He tells her to get some sleep.
Steven leaves, and Kelly says, thank you, God. Eddie says, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. Hallelujah. She tells him not to talk to her. He says she’s the one locked up, and she says, guess what? He is too. He looks around, and says, damn. What the hell is going on? Where are his pants? She doesn’t know and doesn’t care. He asks who locked him up? and she says he really needs some help. She hopes his ass rots in there. He calls her a raisin in the sun, and she says he’s a racist. He says he’s proud of it, and yells for the guard to open the door. She says he can scream all he wants, but they don’t care. He says he’s an officer of the law, and she laughs, saying, an officer who breaks the law. He asks how much blood was on the floor when she murdered that man, and she tells him, go to hell. He says he ain’t playing, and yells for someone to open the door.
Esperanza thanks Steven for coming back. She’s sorry about earlier. He says he thinks she should talk to someone about her and Eddie. It’s wrong to love someone who treats her like that. she says she’s not in love with him, and Steven says, then show Eddie some tough love. She says she’s trying, but he says Eddie threatens her and she doesn’t do anything about it. The reason Eddie does what he does is because there are no consequences for his actions, so give him some. She says that’s why she involved a lawyer, and he says, that’s great, but if she doesn’t serve him, what’s the point? She says, he’s right, and he says he’s going home. She says, please don’t, and he says Eddie’s not getting out. He’s in a cell, locked up for the night. She says Steven is upset, but he says he’s not; he’s just tired. She needs to know she deserves better. She says she knows, and he tells her, stop saying she knows and feel it in her heart. He’ll see her tomorrow. He kisses her forehead, and they say goodnight.
At the club, the woman whose name I don’t know, tells Rick not to be cheap. He gets her another drink, and she says don’t tell anyone what she’s going to say. He says he promises, but she says he looks like a rat with little beady eyes. She thinks his hair is fake, and asks to touch it. He lets her, and she says, baby making hair. He asks if she’s going to tell him or not, and she says the sons of the pastor are crazy as hell. Rick needs to get a lawyer, and subpoena their law firm and accountant. Then he’ll see. She says, it’s her song, and he asks if she wants to dance. She says, let’s go, and they hit the dance floor.
Now Lushion can’t catch a break. There’s a knock at the door, and Natalie wakes him up. He says he’s got it, and opens the door to Brad. He asks, what’s going on? and Brad says he’s looking for Alex. Lushion says she’s not there. She left right after he did. Brad asks if Lushion knows where she went. The babysitter called him, and he had to relieve her. He tried to call Alex, and so did the babysitter. Lushion says, she left at the same time as Ian, but he doesn’t think she’s there. Ian just moved in across the street. Brad says he’ll check there, and Lushion asks if Brad wants him to come along, but Brad says he’s fine. Lushion says he might as well go for a stroll.
Lushion and Brad walk to Ian’s house, and see him having sex with Alex through the window.
Next time, Eddie wonders what he’s doing in jail, Esperanza tells Kelly to stop talking about Travis, Lushion tells Rick that they have to make sure the DA gets the information, and Eddie threatens to kill Esperanza.
👀 For Those Sleepless Nights...
Be they on purpose or not. And stay safe wherever you are, awake or not.
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
I missed the very beginning, because I was running early. Why, Lord, why?
At the MetroCourt, Lulu sees Brook. Dustin asks if Lulu is sure this is a good idea. Does she remember what happened the last time? She says she remembers exactly what happened.
Trina apologizes to Cameron for being late. She lost track of time talking to Ava. Cameron says, it’s totally fine. Everything good? She says, yeah. Him? He flashes back to the kiss, and Trina saying, if she’d lost him, she wouldn’t be able to do any of this, and him saying, neither could he. He tells Trina, it’s all good.
Portia tells Curtis, she knew there was a lot Taggert couldn’t tell her, and frankly there was a lot she didn’t want know. Even when they were breaking up, she still cared about him, and he did everything he could to reassure her. Curtis says, she suspected it was Cyrus when Taggert was killed. He must have told her something about the investigation. She asks why it’s important, and Curtis says he and Jordan are always trying to figure out what to bring home, and what to leave at the office. It must have been the same with them.
Laura goes to the station, and sees Mac. She asks if Jordan is in her office, but he says she’s in a meeting. Laura asks if Mac means Jordan is interrogating a suspect, and Mac says he means she’s in a meeting. Laura gets that Mac isn’t used to her being mayor, but she has to ask him what’s going on.
In the interrogation room, Cliff sets up a recorder, and says, it’s an interview with Jordan regarding the arrest and conviction of Cyrus Renault. He asks if Jordan consents to the recording. She does, and he tells her to please explain her involvement in the arrest and conviction of Cyrus Renault.
Alexis says Finn doesn’t seem surprised to hear that she fell off the wagon. He says he feels terrible that he missed her call, but she says it’s not his job to keep her sober; it’s hers. Last night, she let her team down. He says they’re on the same team. If she has some time, he’d like to talk. She says she had one drink, but he says they both know it’s never just one. Alexis says, it’s all she had, and he says she’s been sober almost three years. What changed? She says, apparently, she did, or that’s what she was told. It’s the truth. He says, and that’s bad because… She says, because she stopped fighting for herself and what she believes in. Instead, she protected someone and crossed the line. He says she’s not first person to ever do that. What’s so horrible that she would end three years of sobriety? She says she slept with the person she protected, and she knew it was wrong, but the worst thing is that she’d do it again in a heartbeat. He says he believes her, and asks if she slept with them because she had a drink, or did she drink because she slept with them?
Julian and Britt cuddle in bed, and Julian says, he can get used to this. She tells him to remember their deal. It’s just fun, and at the end of the day, he goes his way and she goes hers. Britt says she probably should go, and he asks if it’s visiting hours at the jail. She says she’s already seen her mother, and once is enough. He asks if Obrecht is still claiming Peter framed her, and she says her mother lives by the motto, deny, deny, deny. She never takes responsibility for her crimes. He says, unlike Britt’s best pal Brad. He can’t believe Brad was involved in a baby switch, and she says Brad isn’t the villain Julian wants him to be. Julian knows Brad is Britt’s best friend, but Brad did betray his son’s trust in the worst possible way. She says, things are not always black and white. If he took the time to understand… He says, like her? She says she and Brad are kindred spirits. Now Brad is in prison, and they can only interact through a glass partition. She’s lost her best friend, and doesn’t know how she’s going to replace him in her life. Brad is the only person who got her, and without him, it feels pretty lonely.
Ned tells Brook, no one would be thrilled with a rematch, and she says, Lulu is a smug self-righteous, spoiled brat. There’s no way she’s letting Lulu win. He says, it’s not a competition. Blame him. He shouldn’t have forced her to work at ELQ. He’s going to find her a job more suitable to her talents. She says her talents belong on stage, and that’s exactly where she’s going.
Dustin says, the mess with Brook is over, isn’t it? and Lulu asks why she should go easy on Brook. He says, Brook is social media’s new punching bag, and she’s been beaten enough. She says, tell her that he doesn’t feel sorry for Brook, and he says he knows the reason Lulu resents Brook; she was desperate to become a success, like him. She says Brook dumped him because he couldn’t help her, but she has better things to do than scratch Brook’s eyes out, as much as she’d like to. He says, name one, and she says, this. They kiss, and Olivia approaches their table. She asks if anyone would care to hear the specials.
Trina asks Cameron how practice is going, and he says, good, but weird. It kind of freaks him out. When he’s playing, his focus is totally on the ball. She says, it’s not weird. She gets the same feeling at the gallery. It’s all about the work. She forgets the drama, and the questions that have no answers. He says he thought her mom didn’t like Ava, and Trina says, her mom doesn’t, but she does. She can talk about anything to Ava. He says that’s like him and Franco, and she asks what they talk about. He says, they were just talking about his last session with Dr. Bern. She says, Dr. Bern? Isn’t he… Cameron says, a therapist, yes. His mother thought he needed someone to talk to because… She asks if he thinks he needs a therapist, and he says, now she sounds like Dr. Bern. He agreed to go so his mother would stop treating him like a basket case. Trina says, he’s entitled to be a basket case, but he says she went through a lot more. She tells him not to compare their tragedies. She’s glad he can talk to Franco, and he says he’s glad she has Ava, but be careful; Josslyn doesn’t trust her. Trina says she gets why, but her experience is completely different, and Ava has been supportive. She wonders why something awful has to happen before they realize they’re not alone. He says that’s a good question, but he doesn’t have an answer.
Curtis asks Portia if Taggert was the kind of guy who brought his work home with him, and she says, sometimes. He says, even when it came to Cyrus? and she asks why he cares. He says he’s just curious because she mentioned balancing work and married life. She asks why it matters now.
Jordan says she was part of a four member team at the DEA. They were a task force assigned to Cyrus. Her, Bob, Mark, and Taggert. All three died in a three month period. Two from overdoses, who had no history of drug use, and Taggert was murdered. She became concerned and went over the DEA files. That’s when she realized there were discrepancies in the evidence. Cliff asks her to elaborate, and she says, upon further examination, she saw the material evidence used to convict Cyrus may have been fabricated. He asks if she knew they’d been obstructing justice, but she says she just had a sneaking suspicion.
Laura knows Mac was working on figuring out how Cyrus got messages from prison out to the street, but Mac says, so far, they have nothing. Laura wonders if the lead is in front of him, and he asks if she’s suggesting they have a dirty cop. She hopes not, but somebody is helping Cyrus. Jordan and Cliff come out of the interrogation room, and Jordan looks at Laura.
Cliff says, now the DOJ will have to be involved, and trusts Jordan won’t leave town. She says, of course (🍷) not. Mac asks, what’s going on? and she says, long story. It will have to wait. He says what’s more important if it involves the people he works with? but she says, it doesn’t. It’s about her and Cyrus. She leaves, and Mac and Laura look at each other.
Trina and Cameron walk as they talk. Trina says Josslyn and Dev can’t leave the property without a security guard. It would make her rip her hair out. It was bad enough with her mother texting her ten times a day, and monitoring where she is. He asks if her mother has backed off yet.
Lulu tells Olivia, she’s sorry about trashing the restaurant, but Brook started the fight. Olivia asks if that was before or after Lulu doused Brook with champagne. Lulu says Brook has done nasty things to her, but Olivia says Lulu has done the same. Like printing Brook’s careless post in The Invader. By the way, that’s not even her beat. Lulu says she didn’t tell Brook to post it in the first place, but even if she hadn’t written about it, someone else would have. Olivia says, it wasn’t someone else; it was Lulu. She gets that Dante is gone, and Lulu is acting out. What she doesn’t understand is that in moving on, why Lulu has turned her back on Olivia and the family. She says she thought Lulu was part of the family, and walks away.
Ned knows Brook has a plan to secretly write and record until she gets her creative property rights back, but does she think it’s a good idea to go on stage? Brook says she doesn’t need to be secretive anymore. She found a way out. He says Diana and ELQ”s lawyers couldn’t break Brook’s contract, and Brook found a way? She says she didn’t need to. After Ned decided to embarrass her, she decided to give Linc what he wants. He says, she’s not going to have… and she says, no. All he needs to know is that she’s now free and clear of her soul-sucking contract. He says it’s not all needs to know. What did she give Linc to make him walk away?
Julian tells Britt, there are way more appropriate candidates for best friend than Brad. She just looks at him, and he says he’s sorry she lost her best friend. Would she like a drink? She asks if by other candidates, he means like him, and he asks if that’s so horrible. Does she have something in common with more upstanding citizens in Port Charles? She says her alleged crimes were an act of love. She doesn’t think holding a knife to his ex’s throat is considered an act of love. Julian says he and Alexis are in a better place now, and she asks if Alexis forgave him. Julian says Alexis got therapy, and Britt says her therapist must be good. As she remembers, Alexis doesn’t forgive so easily. He says, so good, Alexis fell for him. She’s stopped therapy, but hasn’t stopped seeing Dr. Bern. Britt says, Dr. Bern? and Julian asks if she knows him.
Alexis tells Finn, her reasons for drinking are complicated, and he says, they usually are.Would one of the complications be Julian? She doesn’t blame him for coming up with that, but Julian was a good guy, and picked her up the bar. Sam called her coward. He says, and Alexis believed her? She’s fearless and courageous, but Alexis says she lacked courage when the going got rough. Maybe she drank because she can’t be with the guy. Finn says it sounds like she cares about him very much, and she says, it’s just… Neil walks in, and a lightbulb comes on over Finn’s head.
Neil says he thought there was a staff meeting there. Alexis says, it was an AA meeting, and Neil says maybe he got the meeting wrong. Finn says he’s got the wrong room, and tells Neil where it is. Neil says he’s going to bring a GPS next time, but Finn says, when he’s been there a while, he’ll figure it out. Finn kept thinking the supply closet was the on-call room. Alexis says she has to take off, and Neil says he does too, but Finn asks if he can asks a couple of questions. It will just take a minute. He wants to pick Neil’s brain about a patient, and it might have legal complications. Alexis says she has a meeting, and Neil says he’ll be late, but Finn ignores them. He says he’s been treating a patient who’s taken a series of experimental drugs, and is now confessing to bizarre crimes. Maybe the crimes are real; maybe they’re the patient’s imagination. Or maybe it’s their mental illness. Neil and Alexis look at each other, and flash back to their night in the hotel. Finn asks what Neil thinks. Side effects of the medication, or should he investigate if these are true confessions?
Britt tells Julian, she knew Neil looked familiar, but now she’s heard his name in context with Alexis. She had a layover in New York City, and went shopping. She stayed at the nicest hotel, and when she was on her way back to her room, she saw a man about to knock on a door. She didn’t think anything of it, but when the door opened, Alexis stepped out. She was about to say hi, when they fell into each other’s arms, and went back into the room. The guy was Dr. Neil Bern.
Lulu asks Dustin if Olivia was right. Was she desperate to punish Brook, and didn’t care who she hurt? Don’t be the supportive boyfriend, but tell her the truth. He asks if he can’t be both. He tells her, she’s caring, passionate, and impulsive, which aren’t bad things. They’re all reasons why he can’t get enough of her. But in her moving on, the hard part is, sometimes her impulses get out of control. She didn’t have to publish Brook’s post. It could have disappeared into the blogosphere, and no one would have been the wiser. She did it to get back at Brook.
Brook says, Ned likes to keep his business dealings private, and so does she. Her phone rings, and she says it’s her new PR guy; she has to run. As she heads to the elevator, on the phone, she says she has good news for him; he’s going to love it. Olivia asks Ned why every time she sees his daughter smiling, she knows all hell is about to break loose?
Trina tells Cameron, she and her mother have established some ground rules. They made them together. Her mom will give her space as long as Trina doesn’t scare her with radio silence. He says, sounds like a plan, and she says she knows his mom has rules; what about Franco? He says, Franco isn’t big on rules. Trina gets a text from Josslyn, and says she was supposed to text yesterday, and forgot. He asks what Josslyn said about… The last time they were all together, trying to study Shakespeare, Trina left. He knows why she left, but Josslyn didn’t. Unless… Trina didn’t tell her that they kissed, did she?
Portia doesn’t get why Curtis cares so much what went on between her and Taggert. Why is it important? There’s a knock at the door, and Jordan pops in. She says she’s sorry. She didn’t know Curtis would still be there. Portia says Curtis was just asking if she and Taggert talked about his work. Curtis says he was wondering about the Cyrus investigation, and Portia says she told him that Taggert really didn’t talk about his work at home. Jordan says, good. The less Portia and Trina have to do with Cyrus, the better. Portia says, it’s a little late for that. Her daughter was already kidnapped, and her father was shot in front of her. Jordan says she’s sorry. She’s afraid she has more bad news. Portia says, it’s not Trina, is it? but Jordan says, no. Trina is fine as far as she knows. She just met with a detective from Internal Affairs, and he’s asked the Justice Department to open an investigation involving Taggert’s handling of the case against Cyrus.
Alexis tells Finn, from a legal standpoint, policies would have to be investigated. Neil says he’ll work on whether it’s delusion or medication. Finn thanks them both, saying he appreciates it. He asks Alexis, lunch tomorrow? and she says, coffee. He says, sounds good, and leaves. Alexis walks into the office, and Neil closes the door. He says he knows it’s none of his business, but Finn seemed concerned about her. She says it was a post AA meeting; a double-checking thing. Neil says, he’s concerned, but she says she’s fine. Really. He says, every time a patient feels compelled to use the word really, it makes him concerned. She says she’s not a patient anymore, and he says, as one friend to another, can he help?
Julian tells Britt, Alexis’s therapist took advantage of her, but Britt says, Alexis is a grown woman, and as far as she could tell, wanted it as much as Neil did. Julian says, there are rules against that, and she says, it’s ironic that Julian has rules. He says, if Neil is ignoring that, he’ll have to remind him. He’s heading over to GH now. She says, to do what? Ride Neil? She doesn’t think that’s a good idea. Alexis can take care of herself. He says, if she wants to worry about someone, worry about Neil. She says, all she wants to know is if he’s giving her a ride, or does she have to call Ride Share? He says, let’s go, and they leave.
Dustin says, too much honesty? but Lulu says, no; he’s right. So was Olivia. She was acting out, but Brook goes out of her way to be antagonistic, and she wanted to get back at her. She’s a bad person. He says, she’s a wonderful person, but she says, with so many flaws. He says, perfection is overrated.
On the phone, Brook tells her PR guy, if they ask about the big blow up, say no comment, and move on. The less said about it, the quicker it will blow over. She’ll be posting behind-the-scenes footage of her new material. Lulu approaches, and says she knows Brook heard her. Brook says, she’s ignoring Lulu. Take the hint. Lulu asks Brook to hear her out.
Trina says, Josslyn has no idea she and Cameron kissed, and he says, thank God. It would make things awkward. She says, a little bit, and he asks what she ended up telling Josslyn. She says she told Josslyn things were weird because of what happened to her dad, which is actually true. They were all traumatized, and none of them is thinking clearly. Josslyn understood completely. He says he’s glad to hear it, and she says she’s got to run. She promised to meet her mom at the hospital. He says he has to meet his mom too; can he join her? She says, sure. What are friends for? I’m disappointed.
Portia doesn’t understand. She says Cyrus was found guilty, and sent to prison years ago, and Taggert is dead. Why revisit the case? Jordan says the other two members of the team were also killed in the last three months. She questioned the circumstances of their deaths, and searched for why they were singled out. She found proof that they fabricated the evidence that put Cyrus away. Portia says, they falsified evidence? and Jordan says, they were desperate for a conviction, and Cyrus was too good at not getting caught. She’s sure they felt it meant saving lives. Portia says, that could explain a lot about what happened in the marriage. With Taggert, everything was black and white; there were no grey areas. If he violated his own code, it would have eaten him up inside. I note that Jordan has officially replaced Jason in making the best worried face ever.
Laura thanks someone on the phone, and says she’ll be in touch. She tells Mac, it’s true. The DOJ is doing an investigation. They’ve ordered a complete review of the evidence that put Cyrus in prison. Apparently, Taggert worked with the other two agents to plant evidence against him. Mac says, no. He worked with Taggert for years, and Taggert never bent the law. He had a deep loathing for any officer who did. Laura says, if Jordan thinks there’s a possibility he crossed the line, they have to take it seriously.
Portia says, Taggert and his colleagues were killed for putting Cyrus in prison. What about Jordan? Where does she factor in? Curtis says, Jordan worked inside to gain Cyrus’s confidence. Portia says, so she was working independently of the team? and he says, right. Portia says, Taggert didn’t tell her; they left her out? He says, that’s right. Jordan knew nothing about it.
Olivia wonders how Brook got out of her contract, and Ned says she wouldn’t tell him, and he didn’t push her. He had the feeling no amount of pressure would make her talk. Maybe grandfather had the right idea about tough love. Olivia says that would let him off the hook. Now he doesn’t have to feel guilty about firing her.
Brook sits with Lulu and says, make it quick; she has a meeting with Lucy. Lulu says she didn’t know Brook was interested in real estate, and Brook says she’s not. Lulu says, skin care and cosmetics? Brook says, no. Her career is back on track. She’s launching her rebrand at this year’s Nurses ball. Dustin says, congratulations, and Lulu says, absolutely. She tells Brook, she’s not sorry she did her job as a journalist, but she could have contacted ELQ first, and given them a chance address the pharmaceutical branch that was closing. And it was wrong of her to spray Brook with champagne. So, are they good?
In the elevator, Britt tells Julian, take a deep breath, and do some quick elevator meditation. Don’t do anything he regrets.
Neil tells Alexis, there’s no rule that says she can’t turn to him for help. Alexis says, when she considers that, alarm bells go off inside her head. Neil says she called him last night, but she says, it was a mistake. She wasn’t in an appropriate state to see him. He asks, what state would that be? She shows him her one-day chip. Julian and Britt look through the window.
Mac tells Laura, there has to be more to the story, and she says, maybe there is, but she doesn’t know why Jordan wouldn’t have shared that. Mac says, she took the investigation at face value, but she knew Taggert better than anyone. Why would she have gone straight to IA? Laura says, maybe she couldn’t believe Taggert did something illegal. Mac asks if they just sit back and watch it play out, but she says, no. If something else is going on, she wants him find it.
Jordan tells Portia, she had no idea when Cyrus was originally tried that evidence was planted. Portia says, it’s not going to stay quiet for long. She has to find Trina and tell her what’s going on. Trina knocks on the door, and Portia says, better now than later. She opens the door to Trina and Cameron, and Trina asks, what’s going on?Why are they here?
Ned tells Olivia, Brook is his daughter. From the moment she was born, he started to feel guilty. She says, he had to fire Brook; he had no choice. The mess Brook brought back, she did by her lonesome. He says if Brook is back on track, he won’t feel so guilty, but she says if Brook isn’t willing to tell him exactly how it happened, she has some scheme or epic machination that’s going to blow up in everyone’s face.
Brook accepts Lulu’s apology, and they shake hands. Brook says she wants something in return, and Lulu says, name it. Brook says, Lulu’s boyfriend.
Alexis tells Neil, it’s the first day of her new life. She shows him her chip, and he takes her hand. He says he’s proud of her. Julian busts into the room, and grabs Neil, throwing him up against the wall. Alexis asks what Julian is doing.
Tomorrow, Valentin says Brook’s ELQ shares are officially his, Trina tells Portia not to believe Jordan’s lies, and Carly asks Brando when the other shoe is going to drop.
Vanderpump Rules
Ariana meets Lisa for riding. Lisa says she taught Prince to talk, and Ariana says she’s ready for this. Lisa calls Tardon, parlay! and Prince whinnies.
Katie visits Stassi, who’s on the couch, wearing a sleep mask. They have wine and burgers, and Stassi says, it’s just what she needed. The hangover struggle is real.
James makes bacon, and tells Raquel that he had the weirdest dream. Lala was in it. Raquel asks, why? and he says, because he was having an annoying night. We flash back to Tom’s birthday, and Raquel relaying to James that Logan had said he was at a party where people were getting effed up. Raquel says she has to ask; was James drinking at that party? He says, no. If he had, it would be a serious problem. He swears he hasn’t had a drank in six days, In his interview, he says he used to think if bad things happened, it was a good reason to drink, but hit doesn’t solve anything. He’s happy he didn’t.
Lisa tells Ariana that James quit drinking, and he’s getting help. Ariana says, it’s like déjà vu or Groundhog Day, but Lisa says she thinks the difference is that Raquel put her foot down. Ariana says you never know when James is going to snap, and Lisa says it’s when he has his first drink, but she thinks the tide has changed.
James tells Raquel that he’s been talking to Lisa every day.
Stassi can’t believe Katie is having a girls wine night party, but Kristen isn’t invited. Katie says, it’s happening. She’s met some new people, but hasn’t gotten to know them, so she’s invited Dayna, Danica, and Charli. She also can’t not invite Raquel if she’s invited the others. In Stassi’s interview, she says Katie has invited every single girl in West Hollywood, and Kristen is going to be pissed. Katie tells Stassi, if Kristen is going to act like that, she’s not inviting her.
Lisa says, when it gets to be too much, she goes to the stable. Ariana complains that her horse has a small wiener, and it’s embarrassing.
In his interview, Jax says he swore he’d never be at SUR when he turned 40, and at 40, he’s still there. Tom comes in, hungover and struggling. Jax suggests the hair of the dog. Raquel sees Scheana outside in the back, and Scheana says Raquel looked cute at Tom’s party. Raquel says Scheana looked hot, and Scheana says she had fun with her whip. Katie calls Raquel, and invites her to wine night tomorrow with the ladies. Raquel says she’d love to. In Raquel’s interview, she says, Katie has never been intentionally mean to her, but she’s never gone out of her way to be kind either. Scheana wonders how it’s going to be with Lala, and tells Raquel that she’ll have friends there. She can mediate if need be.
Brett has invited Scheana to make a YouTube video with him. In his interview, he says he does personal training, and has been successful on YouTube by being his authentic self. A lot of women follow him. He tells Scheana that he thinks women will identify with her, and what she’s been through as a young divorcee. He trusts her and she’s a friend. Scheana thinks they’ll become better friends, because this woman cannot take no for an answer. He thinks she’s awesome, but says he’d never want to hurt her by making her think there’s something that’s not there. He looks at her like a guy friend. Scheana, who only hears what she wants to, says, who knows; maybe one day. In Brett’s interview, he says he loves her as a person, but has no intention of taking he home. Scheana suggests they see where the world takes them.
Schwartz goes to Tom’s place, where Max has arrived ahead of him. In Tom’s interview, he says, people give him a hard time about not having furniture, but they have a couch and a credenza. They’re good. Tom says, it’s Jax’s birthday, and Brittany is taking him out to lunch. Now that they have houses, it’s open to the possibility of TP’ing them. Schwartz says, talking about it ruins it; it has to be spontaneous. In Schwartz’s interview, he says he’s all for a good prank, but because of the dynamic between Tom and Jax, he doesn’t know if they’re in a good enough place for that. Schwartz says he can’t do it today, as Tom pours beer in a funnel. He doesn’t mind pissing Jax off, but not on his birthday. Tom wants Schwartz to funnel beer, and Schwartz asks, what for? Tom says, for Jax, and Schwartz says, Jax isn’t here. Tom points to his heart, and says, Jax is here. In Max’s interview, he says Tom wants to beer bong and TP a house in the afternoon, but he has to go to work. He doesn’t think it’s the best idea. They sit by the pool, and Tom brings out shots. They toast to Jax’s birthday. Schwartz thinks instead of pranking Jax, they should lift him up, and show how much they love him. Tom says he’ll be back in fifteen, and Schwartz says, what if it rains? Tom and Max leave, but Schwartz stays behind. He can’t, he won’t, and he’s not doing it.
Tom and Max TP Jax’s house, and Tom says, it feels good. In Max’s interview, he thinks Tom is releasing some frustration against Jax; he’s fired up. The leave OLD FART in toilet paper letters on the street in front of the house. Jax and Brittany come home to trees laden with toilet paper, and Jax says, WTF? Are you effing kidding me? Who does that? Brittany says, what the hell is this? Jax sees the message, and says, these a-holes. This is going to suck. In Jax’s interview, he says, it’s not that funny. He knows one of his friends did it, but doesn’t know which one.
Jax starts making calls. Tom says he didn’t have anything to do with it, and claims they got him too, and shows Jax his front yard with a few streams of toilet paper hanging from a tree. In Toms’ interview, he says, there are three things you need to get away with a prank. Confidence, an alibi with plausible details – Jax says it doesn’t look like as much in Tom’s yard, and Tom says they must have hit Jax’s house first – and a couple of gullible friends. Brittany says Schwartz swears he didn’t do it. Jax says he knows Beau did it. Brittany shows Stassi the yard, and Stassi says, it’s so insane. In his interview, Jax says he’s going to find how who did this, and get them back.
Scheana tells Brett she went home with some guy from Tom’s party, but not the one she came with. She’s excited to be YouTube’ing with him. He sets up the camera, and says he’s there with a good friend; a homie. He introduces Scheana, and says she’s 34, and looks great. She highly recommends Botox. He says, she’s a middle-aged woman, and in her interview, Scheana wonders in what world she’s considered middle-aged. I too, am wondering. Brett says she’s been married and divorced, and she’s freezing her eggs, because right now, she’s not trying to have a baby. She says she’s not getting in another relationship or getting married unless the guy blows her mind. She’s been dating f***boys, and it’s fun. Brett says, you attract the energy you put out, and asks if she’s a f***girl. In Scheana’s interview, she wonders why she’s doing this interview. He stops filming, and she says she can be happy, single, and getting laid, or fat desperate and looking for love. I guess there’s no in-between? She says she doesn’t want a relationship. He calls her middle-aged again, and she says he keeps aging her. He clearly doesn’t know the definition because she has at least another ten to fifteen years. I get the feeling Brett isn’t the brightest bulb in the box, which is saying a lot since Scheana is no Einstein either.
Lisa explains to her housekeeper that she’s going to her mother’s funeral, staying one more day, and then coming back. In Lisa’s interview, she says the funeral was delayed, and it’s been overwhelming. Puffy! She tells Puffy not to be nervous. She’s going to call her other rescue boy, and see how he’s doing.
James asks Raquel what she’s going to say at the wine party when Lala comes at her. It’s going to be a feeding frenzy. Lisa calls, and asks if he’s doing okay, and he says he’s doing really well. He has a meeting tonight. She says she’s going out to London tomorrow, and just because she’s on the other side of the world, doesn’t mean she won’t know what’s going on. He says he’s taking it seriously. In her interview, Lisa says she doesn’t need another child, but James’s vulnerability tugs at her heartstrings. She’s invested a little in helping to get him there, and he’s going to do it. I want her to adopt me.
Katie makes charcuterie boards for the party. Stassi says, a lot of people are coming;Kristen is going to sh*t her pants. Katie says, life goes on without her, and Stassi says she understands Katie’s logic, but Kristen won’t.
Scheana can’t wait to call Kristen, and give her the news. Kristen says she’s prepping for Jax’s birthday party, and Scheana whines that Brett called her middle-aged. She tells Kristen that she’s heading over to Katie’s for girls wine night. Kristen says, that’s precious. Katie is her wine partner, and not inviting her. Scheana says, Katie has literally invited all of SUR. I forgot to mention, literally is literally every other word with this group, and I’m literally tired of it. If it was a drinking game, we’d be smashed in the first ten minutes of the show. Kristen asks if Lisa is going to be there, and Scheana says Lisa is in London for her mother’s funeral, but maybe she was invited. In Kristen’s interview, she feels like this is bullsh*t. Katie wants crazy Kristen, so she can justify it. She tells her dogs that they’re her two best friends. Which I actually (literally?) don’t think is a bad thing.
The girls start arriving. In her interview, Dayna says she grew up on Mad Dog 2020, and vodka from a box (is that a thing?), so she’ll drink whatever’s there. Scheana says she came in her pajamas; it’s been a long day. She did a YouTube video with Brett, and he called her middle-aged. Stassi says, he’s only two years younger than Scheana. They toast to girls night.
At TomTom, Max tells Tom, everything is good. Jax arrives, and says, the party’s here.
Brittany tells the girls that they’re having Jax’s birthday party at Rocco’s. It’s going to be an 80s theme.
Tom gives Jax a paper shopping bag. Jax takes out some toilet paper. In his interview, he says, if Tom wants to surprise him, show up with a fifth of vodka. There will be consequences.
Brittany wonders who TP’d the house. Jax thinks it’s Beau and Stassi. Stassi thinks it’s Tom, but Ariana says someone came to her house too. Brittany is still friends with Kristen, and asks if they’re still going to be able to hang out. Katie says they still have a wine inventory, but the friendship is off. Lala talks to Scheana on the porch, and says Raquel should feel lucky to be graced with her presence. In Lala’s interview, she wants Raquel to stay in her lane, and let people like her run sh*t. Lala goes inside, and says she wants to have a real talk with Raquel. Because a party is definitely the place to do that. She says she pulled Raquel aside because she as genuinely concerned about James, and wanted to make sure he was okay. Raquel says Lala turned it into an ugly thing, and focused on Logan. Lala says she was speaking; let her finish. Raquel forgot her place, but Lala will steer her back. Raquel says, Logan is obsessed with James. In her interview, she says, this is raw Lala. Lala sees her as vulnerable, and preys on it. If they can’t all agree Lala is a bully, they can agree she’s a bitch. Lala says she set up James with studio sessions, and wouldn’t say anything if she didn’t care. In Charli’s interview, she thinks maybe Lala still likes James, but you can secretly still like someone and secretly hate their girlfriend. I don’t see Lala as still being interested in James that way, but okay. Raquel says, James didn’t drink, and Lala says she’s missing the point, and ran off after she told Lala STFU. At her worst, Raquel is like a yapping chihuahua. Raquel says, Lala is a Rottweiler, and Lala says, no; she’s a Pitbull. Brittany says, they’re scaring her, and Stassi laughs. Lala tells Stassi, stay in her bubble. In Stassi’s interview, she says Lala is her girl, but right now, she has no leg to stand on. Lala says, don’t project on her what they want her to reflect. Huh?
In the car, Raquel tells James that she’s tired; it was a lot of wine. It was awkward. She and Lala argued, and everyone else was quiet. It’s been a week. James says it was weird before the meeting; he felt overwhelmed. He hasn’t shared yet. In his interview, he says he wasn’t sure what to expect, but he’s in a room full of cool people who have realized alcohol isn’t a cool solution to problems. Raquel drives him to a meeting.
Everyone gathers for Jax’s birthday party. Brittany thinks it’s weird how Jax wanted a theme, but he’s not willing to dress up for anyone else’s. Jax comes in looking like a poor man’s Brett Michaels. In his interview, he says he’s a huge 80s buff; it’s his decade. He would have dressed like this anyway. Tom gives Jax a gift, and it’s a samurai sword signed by Randy Jackson. In Tom’s interview, he says when he, Schwartz, and Jax lived together, they watched Step Brothers all the time, and the Will Ferrell character has a samurai sword signed by Randy Jackson. He called Randy’s assistant and had it signed. A producer asks what Jax got Tom for his birthday, and he says, um… He doesn’t think Jax got him anything. Schwartz gives Jax a fake, very lifelike, female foot. In his interview, Schwartz says, Jax likes dirty, filthy, stinky feet. He’s worried there’s a paper trail leading to him buying the foot, and he’s now on a list. Jax tells Brittany that she’s been replaced. Brittany tells Kristen, it was weird with her not being at wine night. It was fun, but crazy. In Kristen’s interview, she says Stassi and Katie were her L.A. family, and she doesn’t understand how you can cut family out. The point is that you stick together no matter what. She tells Brittany, they don’t want anything to do with her. Brittany says she sees both sides, but Kristen doesn’t know what their side is. She’s said things she didn’t mean and apologized, but she thinks they say things they mean.
Raquel waits for James after the meeting. When he gets in the car, he tells her that he shared for the first time. Raquel says, that’s amazing, and in James’s interview, he says his persona is DJ James, the life of the party. It’s been seven years of non-stop partying. Being vulnerable is difficult for him, and it’s going to be a day by day thing. He tells Raquel he was nervous. He felt like she did back in the day, giving a speech to her college class. He’s blessed to have figured it out now.
Randall tells Jax that when you’re in the 40 club with him, it’s not about TP’ing a house. He’s a prank specialist, and tonight a prank cop car is going to be pulling up at Tom’s house and arresting him for vandalism. They’re going to cuff him, put him in the car, then they’ll jump out and say it’s a prank. Lala tells Jax his birthday gift is happening tonight. In her interview, she says, Randall is a prankster specialist. He’s done over 100 films, and pulled a prank on all of them. It’s always epic. Randall says, no one can know.
At Tom’s house, Ariana says she rented a table and chairs. She thinks she might want to stick with rented furniture, since she doesn’t trust anyone not to eff up her house, including Tom. The guests arrive, and she says, RIP her house. Jax brings his own chair, since he won’t sit on the cushions. They have cat hair on them, and he hates cat hair. He yells for music, when two cops come in, and ask to talk to Tom. They pat Tom down, and Jax acts shocked. The cops take Tom outside, and in Jax’s interview, he says they’re genius actors, and look like real cops. For a second, Jax thought he was in trouble. One of the cops asks what Tom knows about a vandalism report, but Tom says he didn’t do anything. The guests move outside, and Schwartz is sure it has to do with parking tickets. The cops tell them to stand back, and put Tom in the car. Ariana asks what it’s about, and one of the cops tells her, it’s about vandalism. Jax insists he didn’t say anything, but one of his neighbors may have. In his interview, Jax says, this is how you do a prank when you’re an adult. Tom will never be number one. He tells Ariana, he didn’t call anyone; it wasn’t him. Randall goes over to the car, and tells Tom, here’s the thing. When you f*** with Jax on his birthday, you f*** with them. Lala says he got them all, and they dance around and high-five each other. Ariana says her heart is beating out of her chest.
Jax thanks the actors, and Katie says she hates them all. Scheana tells Tom that he’s really sweating. In Katie’s interview, she says she doesn’t think it’s funny. Just turn on the news. She asks if she’s the only one who thinks it’s not funny, and Jax says, Tom’s not mad, and that’s all that matters. In Tom’s interview, he says it was one of the best pranks ever, and he’s honored to have it pulled on him. Ariana says she understands where Katie is coming from. In Ariana’s interview, she says some people have a different perspective than others when it comes to their relationship with the police. Joking around like that is in poor taste. Tom says, it’s not a big deal. Katie says they can’t expect no one to react, and Schwartz tells her to shut up. She says she doesn’t think it’s funny, but Schwartz says it was a great moment. They’re laughing, and no one gives a sh*t about her opinion. Tom tells him not to talk to his wife that way.
Katie wonders if she’s the only person who associates this with something really terrible, and Ariana says she gets where Katie is coming from. Schwartz says he’s never been more turned off in his life. This is why he doesn’t have sex with her. Beau says, don’t do this, and Schwartz says he’s not looking for Beau to agree with him; she’s a moron. In Beau’s interview, he says, it’s one thing to have a drunken argument with your significant other – he’s experienced that – but the way Schwarz is talking is venom. In Katie’s interview, she says, the last time Schwartz spoke to her like that was in Mexico. We flash back to Schwartz saying her voice is a cacophony. She says, the only difference is, this time he’s being mean and degrading in front of all their friends. Schwartz walks out, calling Katie an idiot, and Tom says Schwartz is being an a-hole. Schwartz tells Katie, let’s go, but she says she’s not going with him.
Next time, Beau tells Stassi that he’s doing everything on his time, Schwartz says things are still tense, and Brett wants to hang out with Dayna.
If Loving You Is Wrong
Ian asks if there’s any chance Alex had his baby. Talk to him. She says, no, and he says he’s not judging. She says, goodbye, and starts to walk, but he calls her back. She says she doesn’t want to talk about this, and tries to go into her house, but the door is locked. She says she left her keys, but he says he has them. She asks what the hell is wrong with him? and he says she left them on the grass. She says she doesn’t want to wake her kids up; give her the keys. He says he wants answers. Can the baby be his? She says, that’s impossible; they never slept together. He asks if she really wants to do this. He knows a lawyer. Don’t make him go that route and request a DNA test. She asks why he’d do that, and he says he wants answers; that’s all. She asks if he’d really get a court order, and he says, if he has a child out there, he would. She says, no way the baby is his, and he asks how she knows. She says they only had sex once.
He says she’s admitting it, but she says she doesn’t want to talk there. He suggests they go in her house, but she says, no. She’d rather go to his. They go inside, and it’s not unlike Tom’s house on Vanderpump Rules, since he has no furniture yet. He says, so? She says, it was her, and he thanks her for being honest. She says the baby’s not his, and he says, he gets it. He doesn’t want it to be either, but they should know. Alex says she doesn’t need this now, and Ian says, him neither. He asks if she wants a drink, and she says she does. He brings out a box, and says he wants her to promise first that she’ll talk. She starts to cry, and he asks if she’s okay. She cries harder, and tells him, just find the alcohol. She doesn’t care what it is at this point.
Natalie feels bad, but Lushion says, Alex made her bed; it’s done. He looks out the window, and says, what the hell? Someone is over at Kelly’s. He’s going to check, and she tells him, be careful. He tells her to stay there, and goes outside. He sees a man holding a paper bag, and looking in Kelly’s front window. He draws his gun. He tells the guy, put his hands up and put the bag down. The guy says he lives there, but Lushion says he doesn’t. He says he’s just moving in, and Lushion says, somebody else lives there. What’s his name? The guy says, Durrell; he’s Justice’s father. Lushion asks if he’s got ID, and Durrell says it’s in his back pocket. Lushion says, slowly, and Durrell holds out his wallet. Lushion looks at the ID, and puts away his gun. He asks why Durrell is snooping around, and Durrell says his mother told him that Kelly left the key; he knows the alarm code. Lushion asks if Justice can ID him, but he says Justice doesn’t really know him. Lushion tells him, hands behind his back. Keep it easy, and they’ll clear this up. Lushion cuffs him, and says, relax; take a seat. Durrell sits on the curb, and Lushion calls Natalie, asking her to come out. He meets her halfway, and she asks, what’s going on? He says the guy says he’s Justice’s father. Does she know him? She says, no, but he looks like Justice. Lushion says, he just got out of jail, and she asks how he knows. Lushion says, slippers and a paper bag. She says Kelly did tell her that he was in jail, but Justice doesn’t know him. He asks if Kelly said anything about leaving a key, and she says Kelly did say she was worried and told him he could move in. Maybe it is him. Lushion tells her, stay there. He asks Durrell if he’s got proof he knows Kelly, and Durrell says there are pictures in his wallet. Lushion looks at them, and says, that’s a long time ago. Durrell says he’s been away a while, and Lushion unlocks the cuffs. He asks if Durrell was in jail. Durrell says, yeah, and Lushion says, yes, sounding like Judge Judy. He says he can’t let Durrell in until he finds out it’s okay. Durrell asks where he’s supposed to go tonight; he just got out, and doesn’t have money. Lushion says he can’t let Durrell in until he makes sure he’s supposed to stay there. In a couple hours it will be daylight, and he can come back. If Kelly says it’s okay, he’ll let Durrell in. If Durrell was Lushion, he’d do the same thing. Durrell picks up his bag, and says, all right. He strolls off, and Natalie says, Lushion isn’t letting him in? Lushion says he thought she was from the hood. She says she is, but she thinks it’s him. Lushion says, Kelly has been through enough. One night at a bus station won’t kill him. She says, that’s cold. She feels bad, but Lushion says he doesn’t.
Ian says Alex doesn’t want another, does she? She says she does, and he says, it’s strong, but she says she doesn’t care. He thinks she needs to lay off the liquor, but she thinks he needs to stop telling her what to do. He says she’s drunk, and she says he’s not drunk, and pours more into his glass. He says, fair enough, and they clink glasses. She says she remembered him the moment she saw him, but was hoping he wouldn’t remember. He asks, why? Because she was married? She says, it’s not that. She hates being a wife (surprising us all), but she’s not a bad person. He tells her, he didn’t say she was, and she says she doesn’t want kids. He says she has three, and she says, because she did everything her father, mother, and Brad wanted her to do. She felt trapped, so every time Brad was at work, and she was supposed to be at a PTA meeting or whatever, she met men like him. He asks, how many? and she says, a lot. Go ahead. Judge all he wants. He says he’s not; it’s fine. She says she never wanted this life. She didn’t want to be married. She wanted to be an actress. He says she’s pretty damn good, and she says she has to be now. Her father told her it was stupid, and she should get married and have babies because she had no talent and no chance. That was after he raped her every night. Ian is shocked, and she says he wanted to talk; let’s talk – about all of it. She pours herself some more, saying, she grew up with a backwoods country-ass way of thinking. Her mother actually said it was okay. He says he’s so sorry, and she says she watched her family nearly murder Black people. They hated that she went to school with them. Ian says maybe she was sleeping with Black men to get back at them, but she says, it has nothing to do with that. She thinks they’re beautiful, and loves how their skin is gorgeous and soft. He says, no more for her, and she says he’s right. No more talking about this bullsh*t; she’s done. He says she’s not doing anything stupid, and she says, why the hell should she deal with this, raising Brad’s kids. He says they’re her kids too, but she says she’s tired of all this sh*t. She’s had enough. She’s going to be free, and go do whatever she wants with whoever she want to do it with. He says when she wakes up sober, she’s going to realize she said too much. She asks why he isn’t drunk, and pours more into his glass. He says he’s buzzed, but she says, not enough; drink. She downs hers, and he moves the empty glass away. He suggests she let him take her home, but she says she doesn’t want to go right now. He says, what about her kids? and she says, they’re fine with the babysitter. He takes her hands, and she pulls him toward the kitchen island. She says, please, she wants this. It was so good; she wants to do it again. She unzips his pants, and gets on her knees. He says, no, but…
Larry gets home, bringing along another guy, and Eddie is waiting. He says, what are you ladies up to? and Larry says Eddie was there ahead of him, and knows when he left. The other guy goes inside, and Eddie asks who this one is. Larry says Eddie isn’t ready for that. Why is he there? Eddie says he wants to talk about some things. Andrew, Joe, and Pete. Larry asks if he’s been drinking, and Eddie says, more than drinking. He did some good blow tonight. Larry says he must be pretty high, and Eddie says he could say that. He saw Larry’s wife leaving; is there a problem? Larry says she goes to the country house on weekends, and he brings home the boys when she’s gone. Eddie thinks it’s sick, twisted sh*t, and Larry says, it is; they love it. Almost as much as they love each other. What does Eddie want? To come in? Eddie says, hell no, and Larry asks why Eddie is wasting his time. Eddie says he’s there to find out about those specific names, and Larry asks what he wants to know. Eddie asks if they’re with the FBI, and Larry says he doesn’t know. Eddie asks if Larry is playing games with him, and Larry says he doesn’t play games. He invites Eddie in again, but Eddie says he’s not into that kinky sh*t. Larry says Eddie is pretty sick too. It was the last reason Eddie was there, and the only reason he’s there now. He gave Eddie the privilege of taking control and making him beg. He respects that. Is Eddie ready to beg? Let him know. Eddie acts mad at the world, but what he wants is to be punished. Let Larry punish him. He’ll make him feel so bad by making him feel good. Eddie says the only reason he’s there is Esperanza and the dudes who came against him. Nothing is going to stop him. Larry says, sounds like fun, and Eddie says, keep pushing him, and see how much fun he is. Larry says he can’t wait, and goes inside.
A nurse whose name I can’t remember, tells Rick to go home. He says he wants to talk to her about Kelly. She’s back in jail, and going through a hard time. She says she’s not helping any more, and don’t tell Kelly to fake chest pains. He asks if she doesn’t talk to Sister Margaret, the chaplain. Did Margaret tell her the names of the girls? She says she’s not talking to him, and starts to walk away, but he grabs her arm. He says, they got her too, but she says she’s not talking. He gives her a piece of paper, and says, it’s Lushion’s phone number. Help them. She says that church is crazy, and they know everyone; the mayor, the garbageman, even her ex=boyfriend. She can’t tell him anything. He says she can’t let Kelly go down, but she says she doesn’t know Kelly, and Kelly shot him. Rick says she doesn’t know what he did to Kelly, and she says not to use her name. He says, fine, coward, and she says, call her whatever he wants. She’s not messing with that church. On second thought, if he takes her out and buys her some drinks, maybe she’ll talk. He tells her, bring her dancing shoes and a nice dress.
Margaret visits Kelly, but Kelly says she doesn’t want to talk to her. Margaret says she wants to say a prayer, and the guard lets her in. Kelly tells her, get away from her cell. The guard leaves, and Kelly calls him back, but he ignores her. Margaret tells Kelly, come sit, but Kelly says she won’t. Margaret says, before the guard comes back, and Kelly sits. She asks what Margaret wants, and Margaret says she’s helping Kelly; praying for her. Kelly laughs, and Margaret hands her a Bible, telling her, read this. It’s her gift to Kelly. Margaret calls to the guard, and Kelly says she knew Margaret didn’t want to pray; hypocrites. Margaret tells her, open the bible, and she does. Kelly flips through it, and takes out several pictures. She looks on the backs of them, and Margaret says, God bless you. Wrong is wrong, and she is praying. Kelly thanks her, and hugs her. Margaret says, she’s going to be all right, and when she is, don’t look back. It’s time for Kelly to get back to church. Get back to praying and believing again. She’s stronger than all this. Stop being sorry for herself and being a victim. Take it by force. The kingdom suffers violence, and the violent take it by force (Matthew 11:12). Kelly says she hears her, and Margaret says, good. God bless her.
Tanya and husband Bennett watch TV. Tanya asks Bennett why he keeps looking out. (Refresher: Bennett trashed Randall’s house at the end of last season.) She says, stop looking at him. He’s looked enough at her already. Bennett says he’ll tell Randall to stop, but she says he’s not going to. She already told him to stop. Bennett says he can make Randall stop, and she asks, how? He says he just will, and she says, like in the last neighborhood? He tore that man’s house apart. He says they were talking about her, and she says he can’t get mad. She gives them enough to talk about. He tells her, don’t worry. Randall won’t bother her again, but she says he’s not the kind that will stop. Bennett says, he will, and she says she’s going to bed. He tells her that he’s staying up a little. He promises Randall won’t bother her. He looks out the window.
Steven and Esperanza cuddle on the couch. He says, it’s her night, and she says, after they watched his movie. He asks if she wants him to stay because of Eddie, or because she wants him to stay. She asks if she looks afraid. He says he’ll stay every night, or he can be out sleeping in his car. She says that would defeat the purpose, and he says he can sleep on the couch. She tells him, read between the lines. She wants him to stay in her bed, naked. He says, as good as it sounds, he doesn’t want her kicking him out in an hour. She says he’s living in the past. She wants to spend time together, and not worry about what happened before. He says, what about her daughter? and she says she’s been thinking about that. The best thing is for her to bring her daughter to her mom’s until this thing with Eddie is over. Does he want drive up there to Columbus? He says they’ve got themselves a road trip, and they kiss. He gets a text, and she makes him give her the phone. She reads, what’s up, stud? and asks who Anna is. He asks if she’s jealous, and she says, a little bit, and deletes Anna’s number because she doesn’t like her name. He says he doesn’t think his sister is going to like that. She wants him to call his sister, and he says, no. He’s sleepy, and they’re not exclusive. They’re just enjoying each other very much. They get busy.
Randall calls Marcie, who answers, yes? He asks if that’s all she’s got to say. She destroyed his house. She asks what he’s talking about, and he asks if she got Brad to do it. She says she doesn’t know what he’s talking about. She only picked up because she likes to taunt him. He says she did more than that, and she says he’s talking crazy. He tells her, don’t hang up, but she says, bye. A car parks in front of Randall, and Brad gets out and goes inside.
Brad asks if Marcie is okay. She says she is, but Randall keeps calling. He asks why she keeps answering, and she says she likes to taunt him. He says she shouldn’t do that. He asks if Randall has been there, and she says, no; why would he be? Brad says, someone destroyed Randall’s house, but she says she doesn’t know what happened. He tells her that Alex signed the divorce papers. That means he can officially pursue her. He kisses her, and she says she hasn’t seen his full court press. She tells him, she’s starving, and he says he’ll make something. He gets up, but his phone rings. He says it’s Chelsea, his babysitter, and he asks, what’s going on? Chelsea says his wife was supposed to be back hours ago, and she has to leave. She tried calling, but Alex isn’t answering. He asks if the kids and baby are asleep, and she tells him they are. He says he’ll be right over. He tells Marcie that Alex still isn’t home, and she says Alex is probably trying to trick him, but he says she knows better than that. She asks if he’s going, and he says he has to. Otherwise, the kids will be there by themselves. She tells him to try Alex again, but he gets voicemail, and hangs up. Marcie tells him to try from the landline, but he still gets voicemail. Marcie calls and leaves a message that Alex’s kids are looking for her. Where the hell are you, bitch? Brad says, she’s not helping, and Marcie thinks Alex knows they’re together. He tells her to relax; it’s about his kids. She apologizes for making it about her, and he leaves. She says, bitch.
Randall sees Brad leave. Marcie says she hopes the bitch is dead, and calls Alex. She says Alex thinks she’s going to win this thing by dragging Brad out in the middle of the night, but it’s not going to work, ho. She hangs up, but decides to fill up Alex’s damn voicemail. Randall watches as Brad pulls away. He gets out of the car, and goes in the side door. He knocks, and Marcie asks if Brad forgot his key. Randall busts in, and grabs Marcie.
Next time, Esperanza finds Eddie in bed with her and Steven; Kelly tells Lushion the Bible had pictures of women and information on settlements in it; and Lushion and Brad go to Ian’s house looking for Alex.
😥 Sniff…
It looks like this will be the final season of If Loving You is Wrong. After we waited a year. It’s like Game of Thrones all over again.
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
Chase, wearing a bandage on his nose, lets Brook out of her cell. She asks why he’s being so nice, and he says he figured she needed a break. He shows her his phone, with a picture of him arresting her The Invader.
On the phone, Valentin tells Linc, no more excuses. He needs the shares, before Michael and the Quartermaines realize he’s acquiring a majority in their family business.
Ned looks at the picture in The Invader, and says he spoke with the other shareholders. They’re in agreement that they need to act quickly to mitigate the damage. Michael thinks their best option is to cut their losses.
Lucy tells Maxie to keep her eyes closed, and leads her to her new office, which is basically an empty room with a desk in it. She says, ta-da! Maxie says, it’s a little sparse, and Sasha tells her to envision it with all her special touches. Lucy says Maxie has the insight, talent, and vision to transform their offices completely to their own. Maxie thanks her for the vote of confidence. She’s always had vision. It’s what she does.
Nina tells someone on the phone that she needs somebody to fill in for Maxie. She wants them to reach out to New York, Los Angeles, and even Paris. The other line starts to ring, and she says, in the meantime, she needs an assistant who can answer phones, and she needs them yesterday. Nelle comes in, and Nina asks how she got in there. Never mind. Just turn around and remove herself. Or she could call Carly, who would be more than willing to send over security. Nelle says, that’s a little harsh. It must be one of those days. She knows the feeling, but thinks they can help each other.
Harmony and Willow are having breakfast at Kelly’s, and Willow says they only had to reschedule four times to make it work. Harmony apologizes for being busy. She wishes she could support Willow more. Willow says she’s taking it day by day. The best way to honor her baby is to devote herself to the living; her students, and helping Michael with Wiley. Harmony is proud of her, and says she’s throwing herself into her work at Turning Woods too. She’s grateful to be able to give back. Willow says they should devote time to themselves too, and suggests going for a ride in Harmony’s new car.
Sonny knocks on Jordan’s door, and Curtis says, it’s not the best time. Sonny says, Cyrus has TJ, doesn’t he? Curtis asks if that’s what Jordan has been keeping inside, and Sonny tells her that she’d better say something. Curtis asks if TJ has been kidnapped, and Jason says, tell him. Jordan says, don’t they think if she knew a butcher like Cyrus was holding her son, she’d do something? Sonny says she already did. By keeping silent. How far does she want to go? When is she going to stop making everyone her enemy, and tell them the truth? She can’t stay silent. Jordan says, yes. Cyrus and his people have her son. She collapses into Curtis’s arms, and cries.
Brook reads, how many ELQs does it take to screw up a great company? One. Great. She’s a real joke. Chase asks, isn’t the first thing you learn as a celebrity not to read the comments? She says, first of all, she isn’t a celebrity, and second, why would he show this to her? He says he figured she’d see it as soon as she got her own phone back. He says, it’s cyberspace, which makes it open season for jerks. She says, easy for him to say. He’s just a cop, and no one important. Sorry. That came out wrong. He says, no problem. She says, all she did was stand up to Lulu when she weaponized a harmless Facebook post against ELQ. She’d like to see what Lulu has to say when her family hits her with a defamation suit.
Ned tells Michael, if Mertin Med Tech pulls out, it will crater their pharmaceutical division, and the damage could spread. Michael says, it’s better to blow the deal than give them more concessions, and they can write off the loss. Olivia says, Michael has a point. However it happened, sensitive documents were posted online. Ned says, it happened because Brook wasn’t focused on her job. Michael says, in Brook’s defense, it probably wasn’t the best idea to give her such sensitive information when she just started. Ned says, so it’s his fault? Michael asks why Ned is getting defensive, and Ned asks why Michael is being so self-righteous. Michael tells Ned, all he’s saying is, when he’s training someone new, he tries not to give them more than they can handle. Ned says, Michael means when he was CEO. So much for Michael taking a step back and handing Ned the reins
Nina says she has no desire to help Nelle. The last time she did, she lived to regret it. So, buh-bye. She pushes Nelle out, but Nelle immediately comes back, telling Nina that she’s being shortsighted. Word on the street is, Maxie left to go to a start-up. Nina tells her, she wishes Maxie well at Deception, and Nelle says, so Nina said in the press release. Still, it must hurt, Maxie being her sister-in-law and all. Nina asks why Nelle is concerned, and Nelle says Nina has an opening, and she’s just the woman to fill it.
Maxie says she needs to free up the creative process; which means avoiding clutter without making the workplace look generic or sterile. Sasha suggests incorporating the organic natural aspect of their products. Lucy tells them, she only has sparkling water. They have so much to do, she’ll save the bubbly for later. She hands them each a cup of water, and proposes a toast. To Maxie’s first day, and the beginning of a beautiful, fantastically successful relationship. To Deception. They all say, cheers, and clink plastic cups. Valentin walks in, and says, good. He’s here in time for the celebration.
Willow tells Harmony that Jason asked about her car. She told him she didn’t know anything about it. She didn’t see how Harmony could afford a new car. Harmony says, it’s not new new. It’s a 2019 model. Willow says, and she already brought it to a garage? Harmony tells her, Brando said it was the sensor was connected to the gas cap or something, but everything is fine. Willow says, is it? Is Harmony fine?
Jordan tells Sonny, she knew Cyrus was targeting families. Look what he did to Sonny’s son, and Taggert’s daughter. Then when TJ went missing… Curtis says, so the text from TJ, saying he just needed some time, TJ never did that. Jordan says she desperately wanted believe the texts were from TJ, but she had an awful feeling. When she went to see Cyrus in Pentenville, a photo was sent to her phone. It was of TJ, tied up in an anonymous room. He’d been beaten. Sonny says, it fits the pattern. He went after Michael, and Taggert’s daughter. So when she saw TJ, she knew she had to cooperate. She says, that’s why she sent Stella away. After Curtis left, someone delivered Cyrus’s message in person. It was the person last person she would have suspected. Jason says, Harmony, and she asks how he knew. He says he ran into her, and she was really nervous. He checked with Willow, who said Harmony had been distancing herself, and Harmony and Cyrus’s time overlapped in Pentenville. He asks what Harmony told Jordan, and she says, if she ever wanted to see her son, she’d do what Cyrus wanted.
Brook wonders why charges aren’t being brought against her, and Chase says it might have been because he gave them the context of the fight between her and Lulu, and mentioned it was an accident that she hit him. She says that was decent of him, especially since it’s the second time she’s clocked him. He tells her, try not to make it a trifecta, and she promises she’s learned her lesson. She says, it’s best Lulu stay away from her altogether. The hypocrisy is staggering. Lulu lived in her family’s house as a teenager, and Lulu’s ex-mother-in-law is married to her dad. How can Lulu stab her family in the back like that? Speaking of family, she supposes it’s time that she faced them.
Olivia asks if Ned and Michael want to dial it back. They’re on the same side. Michael says, Olivia is right. Ned is acting CEO, and should deal with it how he sees fit. He’ll back whatever decision Ned makes. He’s going upstairs to work on his dad skills. Ned apologizes. He realizes Michael was just trying to help. Michael says he knows Ned is upset, and just trying to do what’s right for the company. He goes upstairs, and Olivia says, that wasn’t so hard, was it?
Nina tells Nelle, let her clarify. Maxie’s title was creative director, which was commensurate with her salary and talent. None of which Nelle has. Nina is only telling her this, because her assistant wasn’t around to prevent Nelle from barging in. She’s probably in Maxie’s department, trying to help out until Nina fills the position. Nelle says, that explains why Nina is without a gatekeeper. Lucky for Nina, she’s willing to accept an entry level position. How great would it be if she was stationed out front? Nina wonders why Nelle is suddenly so determined to get gainful employment. It’s not because of what Nina needs; it’s about what Nelle needs. Could it be because she’s in the middle of custody battle, and needs to shore up her public image for the court?
Maxie wonders if Valentin got off on the wrong floor. He has no place there. Sasha says they have worked to do. He says he knows, but first days are so exciting. He wanted to personally congratulate Maxie, and welcome her to their team. Maxie asks what he’s talking about, and he says Lucy hasn’t told her? Lucy says she was going to send out an internal memo, and Valentin says Deception was in need of capital, and he’s always looking for a lucrative business opportunity. It’s a win-win for everyone. Lucy smiles tentatively.
Jordan says, she convinced herself that if she went along with Cyrus just once, keep the surveillance, but move it just enough to leave an opening, that it wasn’t her fault if one of Cyrus’s trucks drove through. She could keep pretending she was doing her job, and maybe Cyrus would keep his word, and her son would and come back to her. Sonny knows where she’s coming from. Sometimes desperation clouds judgement. There’s more to this than just a drug shipment. Cyrus told him personally that he came to Port Charles for personal reasons; he meant her. Curtis says he’s there for her, whatever decision she makes, but it seems they’ve got a common enemy. They won’t stop Cyrus unless they all work together. Jordan looks worried and sick.
Back at the Quartermaine mansion, Brook says, there’s no place like home. It’s better than a jail cell. Michael says, sometimes you have to lose something to truly appreciate it. Brook wants to soak in a tub, and have a late breakfast. Then when she feels like herself again, they can all put their heads together, and combat Lulu’s treachery. She asks if Olivia is in, and Olivia says she’s definitely disappointed in Lulu. It’s bad enough Lulu was acting out of spite, but she didn’t consider how it would affect the people close to her. Rocco spends half his life there. You’d think she’d take that into consideration. Brook says, Lulu only cares about Lulu. Lulu started the fight by spraying champagne on her. Olivia asks if Brook is saying she’s the victim, and Brook says, hell yeah. They have to do everything they can to fight her. Call the lawyers. Michael says, sometimes the best response is no response, and Brook says, they’re Quartermaines, and aren’t lying down, but Ned says, it’s not a personal perspective; it’s a business perspective. Brook says, it’s personal to her. Have they seen what people are saying about her? Ned says, yes, and so have their business partners. He has no choice but to acknowledge her mistake, and terminate her employment, effective immediately.
Maxie says Valentin is bluffing. There’s no way Lucy asked the least trustworthy person on the planet to be an investor. Lucy says, Valentin’s significant investment is allowing Deception to relaunch in style. Does it matter who the benefactor is, when it’s benefacting all of them? Sasha says, she’s a partner too, and should have been told, and Maxie says she should have told before she signed on. Valentin assures them, his checks will never bounce, but Maxie says, it’s not the money she’s worried about, but him. She wouldn’t have agreed if she knew about this. Lucy says, truth be told, her hiring is what prompted this. Maxie marched into Crimson, and told Nina that Lucy had hired her, which led to Nina pulling the plug on their partnership. Lucy picked Maxie over Crimson, and she’s fine with that, but she had to remain in business. Sasha says, and in walks Valentin, and Lucy says, a dark knight with sort of tarnished armor. Sasha asks if it’s Valentin’s way of getting back at Nina, or of getting Nina back?
Nelle tells Nina, it’s bad enough Brad stole her son the moment after she gave birth, but now she has to fight Michael, the Corinthoses, and the Quartermaines to get her son back. They’re all hypocrites, and now she has to prove she’s fit in the eyes of the court. She intends to prove she’s a responsible parent, rooted in the community, with a steady job. Nina says, good luck with that, and Nelle says she knew it was a risk, but she figured if anyone understood what it was like to have a child who was alive and kept from them, it would be Nina. She guesses she was wrong. Nelle leaves, and Nina sits at her desk, and looks at the necklace.
Willow tells Harmony, whatever is going on, tell her. Harmony says, there’s nothing to tell, and Willow says, please don’t lie. Harmony says she’s fine, but Willow says she’s not. She knows it, and Chase knows it. Harmony says she knows Chase doesn’t like her. She doesn’t blame him. She made mistakes where Willow is concerned, and Chase will always see her in a negative light. Willow says she’s been defending Harmony. Harmony put the past behind her, but in the last month, Harmony has been impossible to connect with. Then she hears Harmony got a new car. She doesn’t know what’s going on. She can tell Harmony is worried, and wants to help. Harmony remembers Jordan asking what Cyrus has on her, and Harmony explaining Cyrus pulled strings to get her into the early release program, so she’d have a chance to be her daughter. Jordan doubts it’s out of the goodness of Cyrus’s heart, and Harmony says, Cyrus had her cornered. If she messes up, it’s not just her who pays. Jordan says, people have already been killed. Harmony is an accomplice to kidnapping and extortion. Does she have any idea how big a risk she’s taking? Back in the present, Harmony says Willow should be leaning on her, not the other way around. When Willow came into her life, she knew she’d been given a very special gift, and there’s nothing she won’t do for Willow.
Jordan tells Sonny, she volunteered to go undercover, and infiltrate Cyrus’s syndicate. She was willing to do anything to show she belonged with the best of the best at the DEA. They were a team of four, and they went deep undercover. She worked on the inside, and became indispensable to Cyrus, and gained his trust. His syndicate was like a spider web, going from city to city, town to town. She saw lives destroyed, and lost her ideals. She developed a ruthlessness and tunnel vision like Cyrus. He lived to expand his territory, and she lived to shut him down. The others on the task force took risks on the outside, and sacrificed themselves in different ways, but Cyrus kept winning. The drugs kept flowing, and people kept dying. They had to do something. Sonny says, they framed Cyrus and planted evidence. She says, the evidence they planted sent Cyrus to prison. They thought it was over, but it was far from over.
Brook says, Ned is going to throw her under the bus? Olivia says, Lulu didn’t put the documents on Facebook; Brook did. Ned says he could have told PR to divert the story, but Brook compounded it by having a public brawl. Brook says she was provoked. She tells Michael, come on, but Michael says he’s not acting CEO. Ned says it can’t be shrugged off. The vote was unanimous. Brook tells Ned, he’s the one who’s always saying family supports you, no matter what, but Ned says, this is more a business factor than family. She says he’s CEO; he has clout. He can change his call, and support her. Isn’t that what fathers do?Give you tough love, then a big hug? He dished out the tough love; where’s the hug?
Valentin assures Sasha, this has nothing to do with Nina. It’s a business venture, and a good one. Maxie says because he’s devoted to lip gloss, and he says, if there’s money in it, yeah. He writes the checks, but he’s behind the scenes; a silent partner. Sasha says she’s also a partner. That makes him her partner. Given what happened last time, she’s leery of joining forces again. Lucy asks if they can take this as just a dress rehearsal. You know what they say; bad rehearsal, great opening night. Sasha says she may have to rethink her involvement, and starts to leave, but Valentin calls to her. He says she may not want to admit it, but they were a good team once, and they can do it again.
Willow tells Harmony that she’s okay, but gets the feeling Harmony isn’t. Chase joins them, and asks if everything is okay. Harmony says, perfect timing. She asks what happened to his nose, and he says, occupational hazard. He’s fine. Harmony says she understands he has doubts about her. What can she do to reassure him? He says, her actions speak louder than words, and Harmony says, that’s true. She’ll always do what she can for Willow, even if it isn’t the easy thing. Willow says she doesn’t have to do anything but live a good life and tell the truth. Harmony says they’ve had so much loss, and lost so much time. If she could go back and change things… She’s just happy to know Willow is safe with Chase no matter what happens to her.
Jordan says, after Cyrus was convicted and sent to prison based on their evidence, there was no celebration; no high-fives. They knew they’d crossed the line, and compromised their principles. But they’d stopped the death and bloodshed, and went their separate ways. They hoped it was over, but it wasn’t. It took Cyrus a while to piece it together. He was biding his time. He knew who betrayed him, and when he figured out who they really were, he picked them off one by one. Jason says, Jordan is still standing, and Sonny says Cyrus let Jordan live. Jordan says she was the one who got closest to Cyrus. She earned his trust. Sonny says, then she became the ultimate betrayer. Cyrus let her live so she could watch her city become a war zone. Jordan says Cyrus has her son. She had to make sure she followed orders. Curtis says, letting the shipment through was a test. Cyrus Renault wants something bigger.
Sasha storms into the Quartermain mansion, and Michael says, trouble at work? She tells him, he might say that. She thought she’d seen the last of Valentin, but he’s Deception’s new angel investor. He gave Lucy the funding she needs in exchange… Michael says, for shares in the company. She says, her company. Her lifeboat. The thing that was going to turn her life around, and give her a career. He says, she had no idea? and she says, none. Michael says he has no use for Valentin, but to be honest, he’s a smart businessman. If she puts her personal issues aside, he could be good for Deception. She says that’s easy for Michael to say. He doesn’t have to work with Valentin. Michael suggests they go upstairs and check on Wiley. It will help take her mind off Valentin. She tells him, lead the way.
Brook says, Ned knows how much she wanted to make this work. All her ideas… Is he really turning his back on her? Olivia says, in all fairness, it’s not all on Brook’s dad. Brook tells her, stay out of it, but Olivia says, knock it off, and quit feeling sorry for herself. She blew a major deal, it cost the company millions of dollars, and she was fired. That’s what happens in the real world. Ned says he understands, but it’s bigger than both of them. ELQ has responsibilities to shareholders, and they’re partners with other businesses. Michael was right; he set her up to fail. He threw her in the mix before she was trained. He owns that, but part of owning his mistake is not repeating it. Brook says, so she’s fired? and he says, she’s fired. She says, so much for family loyalty, and walks out.
There’s a knock at Nina’s office door, and she says, thank God; come in. Nelle gives Nina a list of urgent messages, saying, the rest are in the folder. She thought they would have updated their phone system by now, but she’s not complaining. Nina says she thought her assistant was back, and Nelle says, no, but she’s still there. She thought she’d give Nina time to think about what she said, and make herself useful in the meantime. Nina gives her points for initiative, but… Nelle says she’s not claiming she’s perfect; far from it. But why does her child deserve to suffer? Doesn’t he deserve to grow up with a mother’s love, like every other kid? Nina says the last time she employed Nelle, she attempted to blackmail Valentin. Nelle says she’s grown up a lot since then. She’s served her time, and taken stock of her life. She has a second chance with her kid, and she has to get custody. Nothing is more important, even her pride. That’s why she’s laid her cards on the table. Now that she has, she’s leaving for real. She’s sorry to have wasted Nina’s valuable time. She starts to go, but Nina says, wait. She’s not finished.
Willow asks why should something happen to Harmony? Is she sick? Harmony says, no; she’s fine. It’s just that there are no guarantees in life. You can walk out the door and get hit by a car crossing the street. Chase says, it helps to look both ways, and Harmony says, she’ll do her best. Just promise to take care of each other. She thanks Willow for breakfast, and says she has to get going. She leaves, and Willow tells Chase, now she knows something is wrong. He says, it sounded like the start of a confession to him.
Jordan says, Cyrus expects her to get him out of prison, and Curtis says, she’s the Commissioner, but how the hell is she supposed to get him out? Sonny says, it won’t require anything so dramatic, and Curtis says, no. She’s not confessing. They’ll find another way. She says, there is no other way. She loves him for wanting to protect her, but she did this. Cyrus isn’t going to set TJ free until he gains freedom for himself.
Ned tells Olivia, he knows it’s in the best interest of ELQ, and by extension, the family, but it still feels terrible. Olivia says, in time, Brook might understand, and she might learn something. Ned tells her, that’s what grandfather used to say. It didn’t feel good to hear it or say it, yet here he is.
Brook calls Linc, and says she changed her mind. If he’s still interested in her ELQ shares, he’s got a deal. She walks out of the house.
Nelle tells Nina that she doesn’t have time to listen to Nina repeat the lies and smears against her. There are pages of haters on social media platforms. Congratulations on turning her life around. It’s too bad Nina isn’t giving her the same chance. Nina remembers Willow telling her that Nelle is suing for custody of Michael’s son, and asking for Nina’s help. Nina says she’s not sure what Willow thinks she can do, and Willow says, help expose Nelle in the magazine. Let the world see Nelle for the murdering psycho and unfit mother she is. Nina tells Nelle, she’s right. She was given a second chance, and it’s time to pay it forward. Nelle asks what Nina is saying, and Nina says, she’s hired.
Michael yells to Sasha that he’s pulling the car around. They have to take Wiley to the hospital.
Lucy tells Maxie, think. At least Sasha said she’d think about it. Don’t be hasty. Maxie says the only hasty thing she’s done, is give Nina that stupid ultimatum. Maybe she can plead the family card. Valentin says, if Maxie goes back now, Nina will never respect her. Maxie tells him to take his own advice; she doesn’t need it. He says, it’s not about Nina. Forget about Nina, and forget about him. Maxie was right in asking more for herself. Opportunity knocks once. Don’t let anyone keep her from answering. Certainly not him. Lucy tells Maxie, he’s right; please think about it, and runs after Valentin.
Chase says he knows Willow thinks the cop in him is too suspicious sometimes. She says not this time. Something is going on. Her mother is talking like they may never see each other again. Something is burdening her. Chase asks if she has any ideas, and she wishes she knew. The more Harmony tried to reassure her, the more she was sure Harmony was keeping something big from her.
Curtis says he’s looking at Jason. Tell his wife there’s another way. That he and Jason will find TJ and get him out. Jordan says she knows what she’s doing. The only way to save TJ, is to give Cyrus what he’s wanted all along; his freedom and a full exoneration. Sonny says, that’s exactly what she has to do.
Tomorrow, Nelle tells Carly that she’s got a job, Molly wonders why Jordan didn’t say she was talking to TJ, and Sonny says they can’t retaliate.
Vanderpump Rules
Jax and Brittany are home. He says it’s their first time they’re entering the house as a married couple, and she says he has to carry her over the threshold. He does, and she says they’re man and wife. They kiss.
At TomTom, Schwarz tells Max that he heard Saturday was decent. Max says Schwartz is alive, and Schwartz says, barely. Max tells him that he still smells like liquor.
At SUR, Dayna asks Ariana and Tom to tell her everything. Tom says, it was awesome, and Ariana says, it was hot, referring to the temperature. I think.
Schwartz tells Max, he’s mourning the loss of his lizard, and might have a memorial pool party. In his interview, Schwartz says he and Daug had only known each other for three weeks, but they had an instant connection. He fell for Daug right away, and Daug became part of the family. Max says he’s considering getting an R.I.P Daug tattoo, but Schwartz advises against it. He asks if there’s anything going on, and Max says he and Dayna had a blowout. He’s bummed, but he’s not apologizing.
Tom asks if Dayna talked to Max, and she says she apologized. In her interview, she says Max didn’t accept her apology. He doesn’t want to be together, and now they’re not speaking. Tom says at least they haven’t been together for years, and Ariana says when you’ve only known each other a short time, it’s hard to know if they’re being honest. You don’t have much to go on. Dayna tells them, welcome back.
Max tells Schwartz, he thinks he’s going to 86 Danica coming into TomTom. Schwartz says she’s out of line and disrespectful, and talks too much. At Sur, Danica tells Raquel that too much is swept under the rug. She didn’t think it was a huge deal. We see a clip of Dayna telling Danica that Max is going to 86 her, and Danica telling Dayna that Max has been talking behind her back. They’re both managers, and should be able to talk it out.
In Max’s interview, he says Danica has screwed him over multiple times. First, there was the rumor that he’d said he was the owner of TomTom. We flash back to that, and he says, her spreading rumors to Dayna was the straw that broke the camel’s back. We flash back to Danica telling Dayna than Max has a bouquet red flags. Schwartz says Danica is a disruption, and he fully stands by Max’s side.
Raquel tells Danica that Lala reached out to her. She wants to meet up, and talk about stuff. Danica asks what they have to talk about, and Raquel says, they have some unresolved things. She wants to express how Lala treated her last year was not okay. She shows Danica the text Lala sent, where Lala suggests she can offer some insight about James from someone who’s been through it, and whose drinking affected the people she loves most. Danica tells Raquel to stand her ground. Tell her it’s not okay. We flash back to when Lala put her finger in Raquel’s face and called her stupid. Raquel says they might not end up friends, but it will be a big closure for her.
Jax and Brittany look at their million unopened wedding gifts. In Jax’s interview, he says, as much money as he spent, they better be good-ass wedding gifts. If he was in charge of the registry, he’d list car parts, season tickets to the Kings, and maybe a jet ski; something he can use. Brittany says everyone texted that it was the best weekend ever, and their vows were cute. Jax says his stomach was in knots. He had to write down powerpoints. In his interview, a producer asks if he knows the difference between PowerPoint and bullet points. Jax gives a bizarre explanation, and says, it’s close enough. Brittany can’t believe it’s over. She wanted to cry when they were leaving the castle. He says his wallet is happy it’s over. They’re both tired, and decide to nap. She wants Jax to carry her upstairs, and he asks if she’s serious. His back is going to get thrown out, but does it anyway.
Everyone gathers at the condo pool for Daug’s memorial. Schwartz says the lizard’s lifespan should have been fifteen to twenty years. He’d charted out their whole life together; at least the next few weeks. In Schwartz’s interview, he says he was born as a reptile and amphibian lover. He tells Tom that Daug wrestled with depression, but he was always leaping around outside. In those moments, he shined. Tom says they miss and love Daug, and he pours out some beer in reverence. In Tom’s interview, he says he was there when Schwartz bought Daug. Daug was chill AF. It’s a bummer he’s gone. Schwartz says he did everything to resuscitate Daug, but nothing worked. Then he couldn’t find a shovel to bury Daug, and had to use a hammer. It seemed like there was no joy in Daug’s life. He’d let Daug run around in the backyard when he got sad, and Daug would bask on a chair. Tom says Schwartz was a great effing dad, and puts an arm around him.
Schwartz tells the group, he has a few words to say about his lizard. He only had Daug a week, when he became part of the family; part of his routine. We flash back to Daug, and Schwartz says, people say he was just a lizard, but they bonded. We see a clip of Schwartz asking Katie if they make lizard Prozac. He says, Daug was gone too soon; he’s bummed. They toast to Daug, and Schwartz says his friends are making it better. He asks if Jax and Brittany are coming, but Katie says Lisa had a present for them, and she told them to go get it.
Jax and Brittany go to Villa Rosa, Jax carrying a huge orchid plant. Lisa says they look happy, and she can never have too many flowers. They sit, and she asks if they’re trying for a baby straight away. In Brittany’s interview, she says they want a family soon. They used to spray and pray, but now they’re not praying. Lisa says she’s glad she went to the wedding. She didn’t want to miss it. She’s never seen someone so excited. Her favorite part was seeing Brittany walking down the aisle. She tells them that she has a gift for them, and gives them a box from Tiffany. She says she took it to Kentucky, but was afraid they’d break it, so she brought it back. Brittany opens the box, and it’s a gorgeous tea set. In Jax’s interview, he says, it’s absolutely beautiful. If someone comes over for tea, they’ll use it, so it probably won’t get much use. Lisa says, as someone who’s been married for so long, they can’t expect life not to throw them challenges. Brittany says they’ve already been through a lot, and they’ve grown as individuals and as a couple.
At the pool, Danica asks Max what his problem is. She had every right to tell Dayna about something that was rubbing her the wrong way. Max says, so Dayna is her friend and Danica is just looking out for her? She was a complete bitch the first week. In Max’s interview, he says he knows Danica talked sh*t about him, and it led to him and Dayna breaking up. He doesn’t understand why she keeps getting in his business. Danica says now he’s saying she’s 86’d from her sister restaurant, but he’s saying it behind her back. He says he’s waiting for her to come in, and then he’ll tell her. She says, that’s how much of an a-hole he is? and he says, yeah. In her interview, she says, it’s easier for him to 86 her, than to own up to his sh*t. He should have told Dayna months ago. In her interview, she says he’s acting like a child. Congratulations; his plan won’t work.
Tom and Schwartz have a drink inside, and Max joins them. Tom asks if he’s okay, and he says he’s rattled. Tom asks, why? and he says Danica was yelling at him, since he 86’d her from TomTom because of the Dayna stuff. Schwartz says, there must be more to it, and Max says, it’s not just personal. She overwhelmed him in the first place, and he doesn’t need to be upset at work. Tom says he has to separate work form his personal life, but Max says he can’t do that.
Outside, Scheana tells Lala and Stassi that Kristen is sick, battered, and in a bad mood. Is there anything they want to relay? Lala says, not really, Stassi says, they’re relationship is weird. They can’t talk if they can’t be honest. She has to walk on eggshells, and doesn’t know how they can have a friendship if parts of Kristen’s life are off-limits. Kristen worships failure, and relishes defeat. In Stassi’s interview, she says, Kristen pushes away the only people who are willing to call her out on her sh*t. Scheana tells them that Kristen said Katie is projecting because she’s upset about something in her own life. In her interview, Stassi says, last year, they were partners with their Witches of WeHo wine, and they should equally be promoting it, but why should she be involved with a sisterhood she doesn’t believe in? Scheana says Kristen wonders why she’s doing it all herself, and Katie says she’s living her life. In Katie’s interview, she says she’s exploring her options, and figuring out what she loves doing. She has so much going on. We see clips of her lying around, and watching TV. She says she’s finding new projects all the time. Katie tells Scheana she could snag pictures off Pinterest and make money putting her friends pictures on T-shirts too. Scheana asks if she has free reign to parlay ([sic] I think she means relay) that to Kristen, and Stassi says they give zero f***s.
Dayna asks Max how it’s hanging, and what happened with Danica? Max says he knows Danica is the main source of a lot of his problems. She was rude from the beginning. He told Dayna sh*t from his past, saying she was looking out for Dayna. Dayna thinks Max didn’t want them to progress, and he’s happy how things turned out. He said he didn’t want to move forward. Max says, right now he can’t. He’s done nothing wrong. She asks why he’s worried about what other people are saying. In Dayna’s interview, she says, Max cares more about blaming Danica than confronting his own feelings. Max says, there’s no one to talk positive to him, and Dayna says she did, but it doesn’t matter. Tom tells everyone that he’s formally inviting them to his birthday party. The theme is, your most extra self. In his interview, Tom says, in his daily life, he’s already pretty extra, so this party needs to be extra extra. We flash back to Tom’s extraness, and he tells the group, whatever they decide to do, commit to it, and be extra like him.
At Vanderpump Dogs, Lala puts dog food out on the shelves. Lisa comes in, and asks how Lala is. Lala says she’s so happy. The wedding was fun, and exactly what Brittany wanted. Who would have thought? James and Raquel bring their dog for grooming. Lisa tells Lala that she’s gobsmacked. Lala tells them that she’s volunteering, but has Saturday free, and asks if Raquel wants to meet for a little snack or coffee, and girl talk. Lisa tells James, if he wants to talk to her, he can come to the house. They have much to discuss. In Lisa’s interview, she says, nothing she told James made a difference, so she had to use the classic and cliché tough love. She had to cut him out of her life. She hasn’t responded to his texts. She had to make him listen by not saying anything. She tells Lala, she’s sick to death of trying to help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves.
Tom and Schwartz go to Squaresville, a vintage clothing store. Schwartz asks if Tom has a vision, and Tom says he has a couple of ideas. In his interview, he says what extra stands for is your most extroverted look on steroids; effervescence. They check out some assless chaps, and Tom says he has a confession. Don’t tell anyone, but he bought stilts. Schwartz asks if he’s in the market for stilt pants, and if this party is in his budget. Tom says he made his house payment, but bring a chair.
Lala and Raquel meet for coffee. They clink plastic cups, and Raquel says there’s just one thing she wants to mention. Last summer, Lala insulted her intelligence. It’s one thing to question her character, but it’s a different story to diminish her intelligence. I’m not sure if she just proved she is stupid, but I’d much rather someone believe I’m unintelligent than believe I lack character. She says, if Lala feels that way, they don’t need a conversation. Lala says her time is precious, and she wouldn’t waste it on an idiot. Losing more IQ points, Raquel says that means so much to her; she needed that. In her interview, Raquel says, it’s super hard to stand up to a bully, especially for someone who’s not confrontational. It feels good. Lala says she’s heard a few things about James, and wants to know how he’s doing.
James goes to Villa Rosa. Puffy! He and Lisa sit, and James says he’s happy he’s there. Lisa says she has a modicum of responsibility for his welfare. She doesn’t know why, but she does. She saw his texts to his girlfriend. James says, it just came out, and she says he used those words to a girl who stood by his side. When you love someone, you don’t treat them that way. James says he doesn’t when he’s sober, and she says he has to get help. He tells Lisa that he went to a meeting yesterday; the first in his life. It was a big deal. She says, don’t lie to her.
Raquel tells Lala that she drove James to a meeting. She walked him to the door, and he went in. She waited an hour, and when he came out, he showed her his chip.
James shows Lisa the chip, and tells her that he said he was an alcoholic. It’s a big thing for him. In Lisa’s interview, she says she can’t explain how this makes her feel; the fact that maybe there’s hope for him. James says he doesn’t want his life to end up like the sad stories he heard. Lisa asks if thought he would go down that route, and he says, yeah, he did.
Lala tells Raquel, she thinks it’s amazing, and Raquel says that’s so kind of her. Lala says she knows what it’s like. In Lala’s interview, she says when she went to her first meeting, she felt broken, embarrassed, and overwhelmed, but for the first time in a long time, she saw light at the end of the tunnel. Lala says she’s excited for them, and her and Raquel.
James starts to cry, and Lisa says, it’s attainable; he can do it, and she’ll be there. If he slips up, or questions the path he’s on, he can call her. James says, it means so much, and thanks her.
Brittany tells Jax that Kristen is coming over with her outfit for Tom’s party. She asks what Jax is wearing, but he doesn’t know. He says it’s not his thing. Kristen arrives, and notes that Brittany is still wearing her wedding bathrobe that says I Do on the back. Brittany says their license came in, and Jax says he didn’t want to end up like Schwartz. Now he and Brittany are extra married. He wonders why they have to be extra fun for Tom’s party. They’re not twenty-five. In his interview, he asks why they still need to wear wigs and eyeliner.
Tom practices with his stilts, saying, it’s warmer when he’s this tall. He walks around the house, hugging the wall. He wants to try peeing with them on, and Ariana says, nooo.
Kristen and Brittany go through Brittany’s outfits, and Brittany asks, what’s going on with the WeHo wine. Kristen says they have another one coming out. Scheana told Katie that Kristen wanted more help with it, and her response was that she could have a T-shirt line too. Katie is jealous because she has nothing else going on, and she’s being a d*ck. Jax tells Kristen not to concentrate on what they think. People grow apart, and he’s okay with it being okay the way things are.
Acrobats twirl around in circle swings, and a bartender juggles glasses. In his interview, Max says he’s dressed as Chip Hartley, a character Tom has dressed as in the past. In Brett’s interview, he says Tom doesn’t just put on a costume, he becomes a character, and his characters are legendary around SUR. He’s honored to dress as Lisa Vanderhump, and represent on Tom’s special day. Charli says she just came as the best version of herself, which apparently means she couldn’t be bothered putting on a costume. In Stassi’s interview, she says Marie Antoinette was the queen of fashion, and is her extra self. Jax is extra annoyed that Tom is throwing extra themed birthday party. In Scheana’s interview, she says, people tell her that she’s extra about sex, and she shows up in a dominatrix outfit, bothering people with her whip.
Tom slowly makes his way to the party, leaning on Ariana, who looks like David Spade with a mustache. He walks in, and Stassi says, OMFG. Ariana says, he’s so extra; she loves it. Max takes a spill on his roller skates. Lala asks Raquel how it’s going, and Raquel says, James hasn’t been drinking. Lala says Raquel might want to check that. She heard James went to a party where everyone was getting effed up. We flash back to James telling Raquel that he’s going to a friend’s party in the Hills. Lala says she saw a video that Logan sent her, but Raquel says James went to AA. She doesn’t understand Lala’s obsession with Logan, since he lied about hooking up with James. We flash back to Logan admitting he was just being a jealous bitch. Lala still believes him about the party, and in Raquel’s interview, she says she thought Lala was going to be supportive. Raquel tells Lala, STFU. James says it’s not true. Lala suggests Raquel not tell her to STFU again. Raquel says if Lala was really concerned, she wouldn’t be stirring sh*t up, and beginning rumors, and walks away.
Tom changes costumes, but I’m not sure if he’s supposed to be Mozart or a young Einstein. In his interview, he says, what would an extra costume party be like without an extra costume? Ariana brings out a cake with sparklers on it. Katie and Stassi plan a girls night with wine. Katie asks who they should invite, and Stassi says, Brittany, Lala, and Ariana. Katie asks if she’s inviting Kristen, but Stassi says, no. Katie says Kristen thinks she’s a miserable bitch. Kristen approaches them, and says she knows they don’t want to be friends with her, but she wants to know if they still want to be in the wine thing. Stassi says she’s ready to get out when their contract is up. In Katie’s interview, she says she was hoping they could find a way to be professional. Stassi tells Kristen, she’ll 100% do what’s needed, but her heart isn’t in it. It’s weird what a difference a year makes, and this is why she doesn’t like working with other people. If that’s selfish, then she is.
Lala tells Katie and Stassi, the conversation with Raquel went fast. Raquel tells James, Logan told Lala that James went to a friend’s birthday party where people were getting effed up. Like that’s not going to happen at this birthday party. James says, f*** Logan; he’s done talking about him. In James’s interview, he says Logan isn’t going to be the reason that makes him drink. It would have to be way worse. Like he would have to… Nothing can make him drink. Kristen tells Katie that Scheana repeated what Katie said about her clothing line, and Katie says Kristen said she was unhappy and projecting on her. Kristen is a miserable human being. Kristen says they were her two sisters, and Stassi says they haven’t been sisters for a while. She doesn’t know Kristen anymore. Kristen walks away.
Next time, Ariana tells Lisa that her horse has a small wiener, Brett asks Scheana if she’s a f***girl, Jax’s birthday is coming, Lala says Raquel forgot her place, and Lala is going to remind her.
🦎 RIP Daug 🦎
🦄 How Did It Happen…?
I’ve not only survived through Tuesday, it looks like I’ll get to bed before 4 am.
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
I missed the very beginning, since it looked like the show was getting preempted, but at the last minute, it came on. It’s an easy catch-up.
Harmony tells Jason that she had car trouble. Jason says she stepped up when he needed her to help, so any repairs are on him.
Sam asks Alexis to give Molly a call. Alexis asks where Sam is off to, and Sam says she’s going to see Jordan about TJ. Alexis says, big sister to the rescue. Sam leaves, and Alexis’s phone rings.
Elizabeth tells Neil that Cameron is saying it’s no big deal, but she thinks he would benefit from therapy. Neil says he’s happy to help, and she asks if he takes insurance. He says he does (I would think so, since he works from the hospital), but if there are any problems, they’ll work it out. She should talk to Cameron first before they move forward. You can’t force someone to talk.
Josslyn says she can’t tell Cameron how glad she is that he’s okay. If something had happened… Cameron says there were a couple of moments where he actually thought he was going to die. You know what the last thing is he wished for? The doorbell rings, and Josslyn answers. She says, look who it is, and Laura walks in.
Trina and Portia are at the MetroCourt. Carly tells Trina that Cameron is at her house with Josslyn, if she wants to swing by for a visit. If it’s okay with Portia. Portia says it is, and Trina leaves. Carly tells Portia that she’s having Josslyn and Dev home schooled. Dustin is coming to tutor them, so they can have some human interaction, but they’re taking the rest of their courses online. She’d be more than happy for Trina to join, if Portia doesn’t want to send her back. Portia says Trina seems determined to get on with her life, and she wants that for Trina. Carly says the offer stands if she changes her mind. Portia thanks her, and says there’s something else she wants to discuss. She’s realized there may be an issue with Ava.
Michael tells Sasha that Diane fought with everything she had, until she had to move forward. There’s no formal order in place, but Nelle gets to see Wiley. Sasha asks if Nelle is on her way, and Michael nods. She says, okay; things happen. What if they’re out for a walk, or Wiley is visiting his grandparents? He says if they do that, they’ll be playing into Nelle’s hands. Nelle arrives, and tells Wiley, hi, baby. Mommy’s here.
Chase asks if Willow thinks her mom feels guilty, and believes she can’t comfort Willow. Willow says, maybe. She made a hideous mistake, and did everything in her power to rectify it, but at the end of the day, Harmony is still her mom. Michael calls Chase, asking him for a favor. He says Nelle is there for a court appointed visit, and he could use another pair of eyes – not as a cop, but as a friend, just hanging out. Chase says he’s on his way, and Willow asks if something is wrong. Chase says, Nelle.
Harmony tells Brando, it’s nice of Jason to offer to pay for her car repair, and he’s hard to argue with, but she thought she was just going to a garage. Brando says he can’t make her let him look at her car, but Sonny and Jason did set him up. She asks what his connection is to them, and he says he’s part of Sonny’s family. He did them a favor, and it’s their way of paying him back. She says she doesn’t know Sonny, but it sounds like Jason. He says he’d hate if his first customer ran away. Help him do this.
Carly tells Portia, Ava is despicable. Ava had an inappropriate relationship with her son, and ruined his life, literally. There was nothing cordial about her relationship with Ava, unless you count them not killing each other. Ava takes people, chews them up, and spits them out, and Carly is afraid Trina is next.
Curtis tells Jordan that he made reservations at the new restaurant in Beecher’s Corners. If they leave now, they can beat the crowd. Jordan says she can’t… and he says, because she has to work. She’s going to burn herself out. She says she’s fine, and he says he used to say the same thing back when he was using. He didn’t use to party, but to stay awake watching. He gave it his whole life, and he doesn’t want her to get caught up like he did, until she won’t be able to do her job. Jordan says she’s the one who took the position. Cyrus is coming down on Port Charles like a hammer because of her. She wants to spend time with him, but she needs to work. Sorry. He tells her, just take care, and she says she loves him. He says he loves her too. He’ll see her around. He leaves, and she looks at the picture of TJ on her phone.
Willow tells Chase, she can’t believe that psycho is allowed near Wiley. Chase asks if she wants to come with him. He’s sure Michael would like having her there, but he doesn’t know what’s best for her. She says, join the club. She wants to help, but doesn’t know if that means going or staying away. Jason comes by, and asks to talk to Willow. She tells Chase, go ahead, and Jason tells her, he’s concerned about her mom. He and Sonny were out at a friend’s garage, and she came in with a new car. Willow is surprised Harmony had a new car, and Jason says he thought it seemed odd too. How could she afford it? Willow says she doesn’t know. Jason says she seemed nervous, and she’s never been like that with him. Willow says Harmony is grateful to him. He got through to her, and helped her get away from Shiloh. He says he thought she should know, and she says she’s been starting to worry about her mom too.
Brando tells Harmony that her car is ready. She says it’s new, and she can’t believe it broke down. He says, it was an easy fix; the gas cap was loose. It’s the most common reason for the check engine light to come on. She says she filled up before she came; she’s an idiot. He says she’s not, and she says, sorry to waste his time. She says, there’s no reason to bill Jason for the repair? and Brando says, right. She says, great; she’ll get out of his hair. He asks if she minds if he asks her something. Why does Jason make her nervous? She says, he knows who Jason is, right? What he does, and what he and Sonny really have going on? He says he thought he did. Fill him in
Portia tells Carly, she’s always let Trina have freedom, and it’s worked out well. Trina is hard-working and level-headed. When Trina asked about the internship, it’s not something Portia is passionate about, but Trina was fired up about it. She went about it in a responsible way, but seems to be spending more time with Ava, and it’s Ava this, and Ava that. She doesn’t like it. Carly doesn’t blame her, and Portia says nothing she’s read about Ava is anything she’d want Trina to emulate, be around, or even have anything to do with. Now Carly is saying she feels the same way, acting on personal experience. It concerns her. Carly says, it should.
Laura asks if Sonny is home, and Josslyn says, he’s not, and asks if she can take a message. Laura says, no. She knew it was a long shot, but she was in the area and thought she’d take a chance. She’s glad she did, since she got a chance to see Cameron. She asks, how is he? and he says, okay. She asks about Josslyn, and Josslyn says she should be asking Laura that question. Cameron says Laura is the one who got shot, and Laura says, of all the things that could have happened, it’s not that bad. She’s not recommending it, but here she is. Her prognosis is excellent, and there’s no lasting damage. And she’s grateful nothing happened to them. Josslyn says she is too, and Laura says it’s her responsibility to make sure it doesn’t happen to anyone else ever again. Cameron says it was scary and terrible, but he didn’t get hurt. Laura asks for a hug for the road, and says she loves him. He says he loves her too, and she tells him, be safe; Josslyn too. She leaves, and Josslyn says Cameron was great with his grandma. He says he knows he can talk to her, and he meant what he said. What happened was awful, but it was really terrible for… Trina walks in.
Sam visits Jordan, who asks how she can help. Sam says she’s hoping Jordan can help. Molly is freaking out. TJ still hasn’t contacted her, and she told Molly she’d look into it.
Nelle says Wiley is getting so big, and his cute factor is over the top. Chase comes in, and Nelle asks, what is this? Chase says he’s picking Michael up to play squash. Nelle says, Michael doesn’t play squash, and Michael says he just picked it up. She asks if she has to call her attorney about Michael bringing over a cop to intimidate her. Chase says he and Michael are good friends; he’s there all the time. Michael says he had Diane double-check, and he can have someone over when she visits. Chase goes over to Wiley, and asks if Michael has any Smacks; they’re both growing boys. Michael says he’ll raid the kitchen.
Willow tells Jason, at the memorial, her mother was doing well, and things seemed to be getting better. Jason says, but it didn’t last? and Willow says, she started to pull away; not answering the phone, and saying she’d text later. She didn’t think much of it, but now she has a random new car. She doesn’t know where her mom would get the money from. He says that might explain why Harmony is distant. If she’s mixed up in something dangerous, she wouldn’t want Willow near it. She says her mother just got out of prison. The last thing she’d want is to go back.
Harmony tells Brando, it’s a long story, but she’ll give him a brief version. She was involved in a cult, and to her everlasting regret, her daughter joined too. When it fell apart, she went to prison, and she’s struggling to make a fresh start. He probably wouldn’t understand. He says he does. He did time, and knows how important it is not to repeat the same mistake. She says that’s what she’s trying to do, and he says he takes it that it didn’t work out.
Neil sees Alexis at the hospital, and asks how she is. She says, not as good as him, pointing to his new ID tag. He says he’s officially on staff, and she says, wonderful. He says he wouldn’t be there without her help.
Sam tells Jordan that a friend researched the location on TJ’s phone, and it just came in. Jordan says, give her the location, but Sam says she can go. Jordan says, it’s one of those places that’s a grey area, and Sam asks what she means. Jordan says Sam is a paroled ex-con. She wants nothing but the best for Sam, but they both know her friend is Spinelli, who did some illegal hacking. It’s better for Sam to give her the coordinates, and step away. Sam asks if that’s an order, and Jordan says, it’s the smart thing to do. She’s a cop, and has a badge, and it’s her son. Let her handle it.
Carly says she truly understands, and doesn’t want to scare Portia, but she tried to handle the situation with Morgan, and it backfired. She tried to stop the relationship, and forbid Morgan to see Ava. His reaction was to move out, and move in with Ava. She knows it’s not the same thing, but Ava creates tons of attention, and Morgan gave it to her. He worshiped the ground she walks on. Portia says, sounds like the same thing that’s happening with Trina. Carly suggests she limit things without cutting them off. If it’s forbidden fruit, Trina will run to it, and Ava will take full advantage. Portia thanks Carly, and says she has a lot think about. Carly leaves, and Curtis sits down.
Trina tells Cameron and Josslyn that her mom is suddenly all over her; checking on her every five seconds. It’s the complete opposite of what it used to be like, and she hates it. Josslyn says, it’s annoying, but it’s a natural reaction. Something horrible happened, and Trina’s mom is scared. Her dad calls ten times a day, even though the shootout was ages ago. Trina says Josslyn has been though crazy crap before, and can handle it. Go her. She wants her life back, and wants her mom to chill out, and be the way she used to be. Trina storms out onto the terrace.
Nelle tells Wiley, they’ll do it again soon, and takes a selfie of the two of them. Wiley is talking a little now, and even cuter than before. Nelle says she’ll be back for the rest of her visit, and leaves. Chase says they need to talk, and Michael says he’ll take Wiley upstairs. When he’s gone, Sasha asks Chase, how bad is it? and he says, it’s bad.
Michael comes back, and says Wiley is all set up, and playing Legos. Really the nanny is setting them up, and Wiley is smashing them. Chase says, sounds about right, and Michael says, talk to him. Chase says, Nelle is a dangerous psychopath, who could harm a little boy. As a cop, his legal options in getting rid of her aren’t great, unless he catches her breaking the law. Michael says she knows Wiley is her best leverage, and she’s not giving him up. His strategy can’t be attacking her, but proving how stable he is, and what an amazing life he can give Wiley. Sasha says, which brings them full circle. Michael needs to get married.
Josslyn follows Trina out, and says, sorry. Trina says, why? She’s the one who acted like a complete psycho. Josslyn says, maybe a little, but how many times has she acted like that, and Trina’s been there for her? They’re friends, and Josslyn loves her, and is there for her – always. They hug, and Cameron comes out. He tells Josslyn, her computer keeps lighting up, and she says she has a tutorial scheduled. She runs in, and Cameron asks if Trina is okay. She says, no. She hates that she blew up like that. He says he understands, but she says he shouldn’t have to. Why can’t she handle this better?
Laura goes to the hospital, and Elizabeth asks if she’s there for her follow-up. Laura says she is, but she’s early. Elizabeth checks the schedule, and says the doctor has an opening. She asks how Laura is feeling, and Laura says, wonderful. She asks how Elizabeth is, and Elizabeth says, well, but she’s concerned about Cameron. What else is new? Laura says she just ran into him at Sonny’s, and Elizabeth asks how he seemed. Laura says, okay, but she thinks he’s covering. She thinks something is going on; not dangerously so, but he’s trying to be strong. It doesn’t worry her, but maybe Elizabeth should keep an eye on him. Try to believe him when he says he’s okay. Elizabeth tells her, easier said than done.
Sam asks if Jordan is sure this is how she wants to proceed. She though Jordan is busy with the outbreak of violence. Jordan says, thanks, but no, and Sam sends her the location. Sam asks Jordan to do her a favor, and have TJ call Molly if she sees him. She’s never seen Molly this upset. Jordan says she will, and Sam leaves. Jordan loads her gun.
Harmony tells Branco, she’s so sorry. She shouldn’t have unburdened herself like that. Jason threw her for a loop, but she’s great, and he looks like he’s doing great. Good luck with the shop. Maybe she’ll see him around. He says, Jason seems like a fair guy, and she says she doesn’t disagree. He says he’s sure if she’s in trouble, Jason would help. She says she’s sure he would. Luckily, she’s not in trouble. She leaves, and he watches as she goes back to her car.
Nelle goes to the MetroCourt, and says she’s glad Carly is there. She just came from a visit with her son. She thought Carly would like to hear about it.
Neil tells Alexis that he’s getting settled in his office, and she says she’s going to a meeting. She’s not saying anything about what happened in New York, but he says he doesn’t expect her to hold anything back from the group. She says she’s fine with herself, and her conscience is clear. He says he wishes his was, and she says they can’t have everything.
Elizabeth tells Laura, she spoke to Neil, and thinks Cameron should talk to him, but doesn’t want Cameron to think she’s pressuring him. Laura says Elizabeth knows how she feels; she’s very pro psychiatric help. Elizabeth asks if Laura thinks it’s a good idea, and Laura says, sure, but would Cameron go for it? She tells Elizabeth to give Cameron time to realize he needs someone to talk to. The more it comes from him, the better. Elizabeth asks if she’s told Laura how grateful she is for her lately. They hug, and Laura says she’s grateful for Elizabeth too.
Jason asks how Brando’s first customer was, and Brando says he’s going to be straight with Jason. She was nervous about something, and nothing was wrong with her car.
Jordan puts on her gun, and looks at the picture. She opens the door, and Harmony is there. Jordan says, not right now; sorry. Harmony says she has an update.
Portia says she’s glad Curtis is there. She’s been meaning to reach out. He saved her baby girl’s life, and she’s forever grateful. Trina’s attitude is unacceptable. She needs someone to blame, and clearly, it’s him. Curtis says, she lost her father. It makes sense to blame the man who survived. Portia says, it’s unfair, and he says, still, Trina is an amazing young woman. He appreciates that Portia is grateful, but thinks it’s time they talk about Trina.
Trina says, look how much better Cameron is handling it. He’s amazing. He says he doesn’t feel that way. When he ran out, a guy followed him. He tripped and fell in the woods. Trina says, oh my God, and he says, the guy was standing over him with a gun, and all he kept thinking was, this is it; this is where he dies. And then he heard the gunshot. He thought it was him. Now he keeps having nightmares about it. He thought of all the things he wanted to do in life, and how he’d never get to do them. Trina says, then he wakes up. He says, he wakes up, and tells himself it will be okay, but he doesn’t know. Maybe he’s not okay. She says she’s not either, and he holds her while she cries. She says she has the same nightmares. Not exactly the same, but the only thing that gets her through is knowing that they didn’t die. If she’d lost him, she wouldn’t be able to do this; any of it. He says, neither would he, and they kiss.
Carly says Nelle wasted her time. She knows Nelle was granted visitation, and Michael is complying. She’s guessing what happened is, Nelle couldn’t provoke Michael, and she couldn’t go crying to the judge. She doesn’t want to play, and tells Nelle to order or get out. Nelle says Carly’s been telling herself that Michael will take her baby, and Wiley will never know her, or even remember who she is. Carly says, damn straight, and Nelle says she and Wiley have a special bond even Carly can’t break. He lit up the moment he saw her, and she can prove it. She shows Carly the picture.
Sasha tells Michael, his best shot is finding Wiley a better stepmother than Nelle will ever be a mother. Michael says marrying Sasha won’t work; they went over that. The doorbell rings, and it’s Willow. She asks what she can do to help.
Tomorrow, Josslyn asks what she missed, Sasha wants Willow to marry Michael, and Jordan tells Harmony to take her to her son in exchange for her life.
Vanderpump Rules
It’s the day of the wedding. Flowers are brought out, and chairs are set up. In her interview, Brittany says she’s always dreamed of the perfect wedding since she was a little girl. She wants to look good and feel good. These are memories you can’t take back, and it’s going to be the most perfect day. She does know she’s marrying Jax, right?
Stassi thinks it’s going to be so fun. Katie confers with wedding planner Mitchell on strategy so that Jax doesn’t see Brittany before the ceremony. Lance arrives, and in Katie’s interview, she says when she was younger, she and her girlfriends each claimed a member of NSYNC. Lance was hers, and she’d lick his face on the poster. Yuk! In Jax’s interview, he says as much as he drank last night – we flash back to that – he’s going to power through. He thinks his body knows how much he spent, and is recovering quickly. Katie tells him not to dawdle, and he asks if dawdle is a word.
Brittany’s mom says, finally, and her Mamaw arrives. Stassi is busy steaming Brittany’s dress, and in her interview, says she feels like they’ve been doing this for an hour and forty-seven minutes. They could have watched The Notebook in its entirety. But Brittany wants it to be perfection, so that’s what they’re giving her. The girls get their hair done.
On their balcony, Scheana tells Kristen that it’s Brittany’s dream day, and asks where Carter is. Kristen says he’s at the hotel, and texted, asking her what time the wedding was. She can’t be responsible for him, since she’s going to be with the girls all day. She’s trying to distance herself, but wonders if she should ignore his texts. Scheana looks out to the parking lot, and says, Carter is literally right there. In Kristen’s interview, she says every time she sees Carter, she wishes it could have worked out. It’s effing sad. Carter comes up to their balcony, and says, hi, gorgeous. Scheana makes herself scarce.
Tom tells Jax the cufflinks are already connected in his shirt. Ariana calls Tom, saying, one of the bridesmaids needs a tampon. In his interview, he says there was time he thought he wasn’t going to be there, but he’s glad he is, because of this kind of situation. We flash back to him saying he even brought tampons, and he says, that’s why a best best man is needed.
Lisa arrives, gorgeous in black. Jax says, surprisingly, he’s feeling really good. He’s having his dad’s favorite meal; a Coke, a burger, and fries. Everyone wonders where Randall is.
He’s still in bed, talking films with Beau. Lala pokes her head in the door, and asks what he’s doing. Is he even dressed? That’s a no, and she says she’s mortified. He’s lying in bed; WTF is he doing? Get up now. In Lala’s interview, she says, Randall lives in his own world. He has people who give him a schedule that he follows, and that person isn’t there. She wants to go in on him, but she’s not going to rip his head off – until later. Lisa tells Lance, it brings back memories, and it’s a lot of pressure. Lance says he needs to get the timing, and asks Lisa to give him her best Brittany and Jax impression. He goes through the script with her, and she’s pretty good, as well as very funny.
Everyone is seated. Larry Birkhead is a guest, as he’s a friend of Brittany’s, which is kind of weird. Schwartz is afraid of losing the ring. Lisa asks Jax how he is, and he says, nervous. She tells him, calm down; it’s going to be great. She says, emotions are a good thing, and he says he has so much in his head. His dad isn’t there, and his mom didn’t even text his godmother. It hurt his feelings. In Jax’s interview, he says it means a lot having Lisa there, since his parents aren’t. Lisa puts everything at ease. Lance says he knows Jax’s head must be everywhere, but listen to what’s being said. Lance is wearing glasses, and Lisa asks if he’s trying to look serious. Schwartz wants to savor the moment of being able to tell Lisa what to do, and tells her, take a seat.
Carter asks if it’s reserved seating. The ceremony is outdoors, and in Beau’s interview, he says, it’s disgustingly hot, and his ass is like a Florida swamp. Exciting as this is, please hurry up. Brittany messes with her dress, saying it still could use some pressing, but Stassi says there isn’t any more they can do. Tom tries to help shade people with an umbrella, and Lance meets Jax’s godmother. Jax walks out with his godmother, and his dad-in-a-box.
Brittany comes down stairs, looking like the princess she is. She tells her dad that he looks handsome, and she loves him. He asks if she’s ready to walk down the aisle, and should he hang on to her? She says if he doesn’t, she might keep walking. The procession begins, and Don tells Brittany to take in every moment. In Jax’s interview, he says he thinks his dad is proud. He loved Brittany, and Jax doesn’t have to think about what his dad would say about that. He finally became the son his dad raised him to be. In Brittany’s interview, she says she thought she’d be nervous, but she can’t wait to walk down the aisle, and see Jax for the first time. The day she’s dreamed of her entire life is finally happening. In Lisa’s interview, she says, Jax is a whole different person. He’s vulnerable and sincere. She likes this one. Brittany peeks out, and it’s time.
As Brittany comes into view, Jax says, wow, and Schwartz says, she’s a keeper. Jax wipes his eyes. Kristen says she’s never seen Brittany so happy, and Lisa says she’s gorgeous. Ariana tells Scheana to lower her bouquet, so everyone can see her tits. Scheana says, flowers down; tits out. Lance begins saying Jason is the artist formerly known as Jax, and Brittany is the beauty to his beast. Nothing has been a more important influence in their lives than their families, and Lisa of course. Don gives Brittany away, and Lance says, ladies first. Brittany reads her vows, saying she’s been absolutely crazy about Jax since they met. He’s her best friend, and the person she loves most in the whole world. They can be very different, but balance each other out. He makes her feel whole. She can’t wait for him to be her husband, and knows he’ll be the most incredible father. She’s the happiest girl in the world. He’s her lobster. Jax says she’s made him the happiest, luckiest man in the world. She walked into his life four years ago, with her smile and accent. She told him she’d been a bartender at Hooters, and he said he had to marry this girl. She’s positive, giving, and caring. She smiles all day, and wants everyone to be happy. He loves her so much, and he’s excited to be her husband. Brittany wants to kiss him now, and Lance asks for the rings. Jax says, oh God; he gave them to Schwartz. Schwartz fumbles around for a moment, but unearths the rings from a pocket. In Schwartz’s interview, he says he did lose the rings for a second. Brittany and Jax say their vows, but they only say for richer or poorer. Is that an L.A. thing, or does no one care about the rest anymore? Lance pronounces them husband and wife, and they kiss. Lance says, he’s honored and privileged to be the first to present Mr. and Mrs. Jason Cauchi.
At SUR, Danica asks Charli if she thinks they’re having fun at the wedding. Charli says her dream wedding is getting wasted and doing a drive-thru in Las Vegas, but Brittany was excited.
At TomTom server Valissa tells Max that she heard some drama about him. He says Dayna is the first girl he’s been down to be serious with. They were exclusive for three days when people made up sh*t. Valissa says she heard he had another relationship going on, but he says, that’s not true. She tells him that he’s got to keep out of trouble, and he says he’s just focusing on work, so he doesn’t have to deal. In his interview, he says work helps to keep his mind off what he needs right now. It sucks. I say, zzzzzzz…
At the reception, Lance tells everyone, the minister was something, but now they’re taking the party to the next level. He welcomes Brittany and Jax. They walk in, and Brittany does some raise the roof moves. Lisa asks if Katie is serious, and she and Schwartz didn’t file the paperwork for their marriage. In Lisa’s interview, she wonders if Schwartz made an unconscious decision. He has commitment issues, and maybe it’s subliminal that he never follows through. She tells Schwarz, he had one job. In Schwartz’s interview, he says Lisa officiated their wedding, but she can’t be that mad at him. Can she? Lisa tells him that he can’t sweep everything under the rug.
Raquel meets Dayna and Danica for coffee. Danica says she can’t drink because she has a breathalyzer in her car. In her interview, she says she got a DUI when she had five people in her car, going to an after-party in the Hills. She got pulled over, and now she has to do a breathalyzer before she starts the car, and every fifteen minutes while she’s driving. It’s so embarrassing. Raquel says she and James’s relationship isn’t perfect (an understatement times ten), and she doesn’t want to be an enabler, making excuses and coming to his rescue. Dayna says it’s not Raquel’s job to keep James clean and sober. Raquel says if James can’t take the self-help, she’s going to break up with him. Danica says, maybe that will be the trigger that forces James to make a change. Dayna encourages Raquel to stand her ground. In Raquel’s interview, she says when she first moved to L.A., she was worried about making new friends. It was difficult, but having Dayna and Danica to support her is really nice. Dayna tells them that she found out Max was at a restaurant with another girl, but it wasn’t the romantic one she thought it was. In her interview, she says she made a mistake and ran with it. Danica says, it doesn’t matter where they were eating. In Danica’s interview, she says, just because it was a brunch spot, doesn’t change the fact that Max cheated. She just caught him at a different stage of the cheating. They probably grabbed dinner, banged, and went out for French toast the next morning. It doesn’t matter where they were in the hook up line when they were caught; they hooked up. Since in reality, Charli knows none of that for a fact, I’d say watch out for this one. She asks Dayna if Max might be leading his ex on, but Dayna says the situation was different than she thought. Danica says Dayna isn’t going back with Max, is she? but Dayna says she’s interested, and believes Max likes her. She wants to start over, and pretend it didn’t happen. Danica says Max has a bouquet of red flags. In Dayna’s interview, she says, Danica is judgy for someone who has to blow in a breathalyzer to start her car. Dayna loves that for her.
Don says a before meal prayer, and tells everyone, enjoy. Giggy! I’d want him at my wedding too. Shep Rose is a guest, and in his interview, Jax says he’s known Shep for three or four years. He’s a womanizer, a lot of fun, and likes to be the center of attention. They have a lot of similarities. Logan asks why Carter isn’t smiling, and he gripes about how he and Kristen don’t have sex. Logan asks if Carter is living with Kristen, but he says he isn’t. In Jax’s interview, he says, Kristen fought hard to have Carter there, and she’s nowhere near him. He could have cut back on expenses by cutting Carter. I have no idea why Logan is there either. That dude is a sleaze. Carter tells Logan, he could wind up in Kristen’s bed. If it happens, it happens. Stassi says she loves everything about the wedding. Beau says he loves air conditioning. Stassi says, if she plans an outside wedding, it would be in the fall when it’s cool. She doesn’t want anyone to sweat or have the sun in their eyes. Beau adds, and no kids. She asks if he’s saying they’re getting married, and he says he wants to find the right time when he feels ready. She says she can control every other thing in her life, except when she’s get married. In her interview, she says she’s not going into the dark passenger zone at someone else’s wedding.
Schwartz makes a speech, saying he met Jax ten years ago. Tom suggested they get another roommate, and Schwartz said as long as they didn’t have too much presence. Then in walked larger than life Jax- MF’ing-Taylor. He was ripped, tan, and gorgeous. Those are Jax’s words, not his. He sh*t with the door open and had no shame. He got wasted and unplugged Schwartz’s air mattress in the middle of the night. And he watches reruns of the Golden Girls. In Jax’s interview, he says, the wedding cost $100K. If he takes 24 hours, and divides it by the 17 minutes Schwartz talked, it was an expensive speech. Schwartz starts talking about weed, and Jax tells him, it’s Kentucky. They raise their glasses, and Schwartz says he realized there’s more he wants to say, but he hands the mic off to the next person.
Don dances with Brittany, who says she’s so happy. In Lala’s interview, she says, watching Brittany dance with her dad, she can’t help thinking that when she gets married, the most important man in her life won’t be there. She’s so happy Brittany gets to have that. Randall asks if she’s okay, and she nods, wiping her eyes. I wipe mine too, since I identify. My dad passed away a few months before I got married. The cake is cut, and Brittany yells, we’re married! She and Jax dance, and she tells him that he can grab her butt and stuff. They kiss.
Outside, Carter tells Kristen, she looks beautiful, and she tells him, he looks dapper. He asks if she’s having fun, and she says it’s the best time ever, but her allergies are more stubborn than he is. He says they’re both stubborn, and she tells him, don’t get weird. He asks if she’s feeling okay, and she says he doesn’t listen. It’s their number one problem. When he’s sad and scared, he doesn’t know how to deal with it. He asks why he would be sad and scared; he’s having a great time hanging with her. She says he’d texted her that she was selfish unkind, and he says she was at the time, but she says she was none of those things. He was saying it to manipulate her. He’s sad and hurt because he wants her to give him attention. He says it will be okay, but it’s not working right now. Carter says he loves her and wants to be with her, but she doesn’t want to play that game. She doesn’t like how he treats her. He says he’s not treating her any way, and she says she’s not giving him what he wants. She asked for space, and she’s taking it. He says he loves her. In her interview, Kristen says she would be sad if Carter wasn’t there, but she’s sad that he is there. All of her friends are finding their happily ever afters. Brittany and Jax are married; Beau and Stassi are on the road to engagement; and Schwartz and Katie are on their second wedding. She and Carter have been in relationship for four years and she’s not even close to happily ever after. She walks back inside, leaving Carter sitting alone.
It’s near midnight, and Lisa says it’s time for her to leave. In her interview, she says her decision to come was absolutely what she wanted. She’s still in mourning, but wanted to be present in the moment of their happiness. Bye, Giggy! Jax and Brittany go out on the balcony, and Jax calls all the single ladies. His money is on Kristen. In Ariana’s interview, she says, Kristen always fights for the bouquet. In Brittany’s interview, she says she’s trying to aim for Stassi, who she thinks will be next to get married, and trying to avoid Kristen, who she doesn’t want catching it until she has somebody worth catching it for. Her cousin Amanda ends up with the bouquet, and she says her cousin is only eighteen, and doesn’t need to get married either just yet. Everyone gets sparklers, and they form a double line. Brittany and Jax walk down the middle, holding their dogs. In Jax’s interview, he says he feels like Brittany’s Prince Charming today. They threw one classy wedding, and need one classy party.
Changing location, the guests dance into the room between two lines of Hooters girls. In Lala’s interview, she says it’s given her a lot of ideas about what she wants to do at her wedding, and things she doesn’t want; one of which is a Hooters girl with huge tits asking if she wants ranch on her chicken wings. There’s lots of dancing, and Tom dances with Lance. In Katie’s interview, she says Tom is living out his teenage boy band dreams. If NSYNC gets back together, Justin Timberlake is pretty busy now, so…
SUR is busy as usual, and James drops Raquel off. She asks what he’s doing, and he says, going to a party in the Hills. She says, no drinking, and he promises, saying he’s going to drive. Inside, Charli wonders why Dayna isn’t at the wedding, but Dayna says she needs the money. If she gets married, it will be at a courthouse. Charli asks if Dayna is still with Max, and Dayna says, no, but thinks she jumped the gun on anything with him. She wants to talk to him tomorrow. In Dayna’s interview, she says she regrets breaking up so quickly. Her defense mechanism is to cut things off at the first sign of trouble, and this is a perfect example of her defense mechanism biting her in the ass. Charli says she doesn’t know him enough to judge, but what the hell does he have that’s so magical? Dayna says, a big old d*ck. She doesn’t feel settled, and needs to talk to him. In Charli’s interview, she says she’s glad she’s not the dumbest person at SUR.
Scheana dances suggestively with one of the groomsmen. In Stassi’s interview, she says when they walked through the tunnel the tone changed from wedding fashion chic to Kentucky chic, or drunk chic. Embarrassing as it is, there was a point in time where she said she wanted to marry Jax. We flash back to that, and she says a twenty-three year old should not trust anything when a guy in West Hollywood says he’s a super model. Scheana is now madly making out with the groomsman. In her interview, Scheana says, being a bridesmaid is the best. You’re first on the guest list, you get to dress up and look hot, and make out with the single groomsmen. She’s doing what Kristen should be doing, instead of chasing Carter in the darkness. Katie tells Jax that they need cash for the bar, and Jax tells Mitchell the guests are being charged for vodka that he bought. In his interview, Jax says, after what he put out, he can’t believe he looks at the bar and sees his friends paying. He gripes to anyone who will listen that he spent over $100K on the wedding, and has sixty bottles of vodka. Tom realizes the vodka is in the room where they had dinner, and goes to get it. In his interview, he says, that’s what a best man is for. In a time of crisis, he comes through with a victory and saves the day. In Jax’s interview, he says he gives Tom a B- or a C. It’s passing. Brittany tells Jax, the wedding is perfect. They beat the odds, made it through, and they’re stronger than ever. Katie puts Schwartz to bed, and Jax and Brittany kiss.
The next morning, Brittany tells Jax, they’re married, and he says they have to be out by 11. In his interview, he says, no late fees. The free ride is over. He’s not paying because people don’t want to get up. Brittany shrugs, but he says, it’s not happening. Brittany says she’ll find out how much, and they’ll go from there.
Back in L.A., Dayna goes to see Max at TomTom. She gives him a letter for Lisa, saying, it was devastating about her mom. She notices Max’s new tattoo, and says they don’t talk for a day, and he’s a new person. She apologizes, and says she doesn’t think he was lying about the girl he was previously seeing. Something clicked, and she found out there are two restaurants called Jones. She pictured him at the romantic restaurant, and she was wrong. It was a booboo her part. He says he was honest with her, but she listened to the people in her ear, who made him look bad. It’s not his fault, but he does appreciate the apology. He’s frustrated that she believes everyone but him. She asks if he wants to move forward; the ball is in his court. In Max’s interview, he says the girls at SUR have been trying to ruin their relationship since the beginning. He tells Dayna that he needs time to focus. She asks if he still has feelings for her, but he says he doesn’t know. He needs time. In Dayna’s interview, she says she’s crushed. She wanted him to meet her halfway. She put herself out there, and it’s not something she does a lot. She wishes it had worked out. She tried, but it didn’t.
Jax knocks on everyone’s doors. Ariana tells Tom, they have to go, and Tom asks, why? Jax tells Schwartz, they have to be out in 26 minutes, and Schwartz asks if he can finish his speech now. Carter spent the night in Kristen and Scheana’s room, and in her interview, Kristen says she thought she’d be strong and not backslide, yet… She shrugs. Jax says the credit cards are maxed out. It’s time to go.
This season, Katie senses something bad happening, a trip to a strip club, Lisa tells Jax that he has a habit of being self-destructive, Dayna is interested in Brett, Lisa tells James that he has to get help, Danica tells Max that his plan won’t work, Tom wonders why Jax can’t be happy for him, Jax wonders if he did the right thing, and Kristen says, Jason is gone and Jax is back.
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
Alexis and Neil bask in the afterglow. They smile at each other.
Michael builds a dollhouse. Sasha comes in, and says he was awfully quiet last night. He says Diane gave him a lot to think about, and Sasha asks if he wants to talk. He says he’d appreciate her take on this. To bolster his case for custody, Diane suggested he get married.
Ava runs into Julian at the hospital, and asks what he’s doing there. He says, looking for his son, and she asks if Lucas is talking to him again. He says, first, Lucas loses Wiley, then has to kick his husband to the curb, and he rushes back to work. Ava asks if he’s worried about Brad’s arraignment, but Julian says it doesn’t have anything to do with him. She asks if he’s not afraid Brad is going to give him up. He says if Brad makes him the bad guy, he could go prison for aiding, abetting, and kidnapping.
Scotty tells Brad to untie his hands; give him something. Brad wonders what else he can give Scotty to make it better, and Scotty says something to blur the lines and give reasonable doubt. Something to get the guilty off of him.
At The Floating Rib, Mac stands next to Taggert’s picture, and says they’ve gathered to celebrate the life and memory of Marcus Taggert. He suggests Jordan go first, but she says, what is there to say? Taggert was the bravest man she ever knew. She raises her beer bottle, and says, to Marcus Taggert, and everyone else follows suit. Trina thanks Cameron for coming, and Elizabeth tells Portia that she’s sorry. Portia says she appreciates it. It means a lot to Trina that they came too. Trina says she’s right, and hugs Cameron.
Laura sees Curtis at the hospital, and asks if he’s okay. He says he gave blood, and she says doing his civic duty. He says he’s just in it for the cookie; helping others is a bonus. She finds that hard to believe, and says he was missed at the funeral. He says, that’s another reason why he’s there. He thought he could do more good donating blood after all that’s been shed. She tells him to stop beating himself up about what happened to Taggert. He says, if he’d had more time or a better plan… but Laura says Taggert had a plan. He wanted Curtis to get his daughter out alive, and Curtis did it. She tells him, Mac is hosting a wake at The Floating Rib, and he should go. He says he’d feel out of place, but she says, if anyone should be there, it’s him.
Mac asks if anyone else wants to say something. Sonny says he does, but Jordan says, the memorial is for friends, family, and cops. He says he just wants to pay his respects. He asks if he can have a glass, but Mac says, it’s for cops only. Sonny says he can do it without one, and walks up front. He says, if he had a glass, he’d raise it to Taggert. It’s no surprise they didn’t like each other. They had a lot of battles, but in the end, he respected Taggert. He was a brave man; loyal to the people he loved, and committed to the code of honor. He says, to Marcus Taggert, but no one responds. I feel sad for Sonny.
Brad says he told Scotty a billion times. The only other person who knew about the baby switch was Nelle. It was her idea. Scotty says Nelle insists Brad stole the baby while she was passed out, and Brad says, she’s lying. Scotty says he needs prove it. He needs to know if there’s somebody else mixed up in this with Brad.
Ava says Brad knows Julian is his only friend. He says, when a ship sinks, that kind of friend takes the raft. Brad is the person he’s least concerned about. If Sonny finds out… She says, there’s one solution; Sonny can’t find out.
Michael tells Sasha, on one hand, it might help to show he’s more qualified to care for Wiley. She says, living in a mansion with a full-time staff might help. He says, it doesn’t hurt, but a nanny isn’t a substitute for a mother’s love.In the meantime, Nelle has money from the sale of her ELQ shares. She says, what about character witnesses? Does Nelle even have any? He says, he has more stability, and Wiley will be loved and nurtured. It’s not even close, but it’s Nelle. Sasha says, she’s a master manipulator, and Michael says she’s turned playing the victim into an art form. She asks, what about him? What does he think about this marriage thing?
Alexis and Neil kiss. She says she needs a therapist, and he says he thinks she just had one. She says, it was really great, but a mistake, since he has a hearing in less than an hour about what they just did. He asks if they can forget about the hearing for the next five minutes. She asks what he wants to talk about, and he says, the opera, and the fact they ended up in the same box. And it wasn’t just any opera. It was Aida, a story of forbidden love. She asks if they’re not all like that, and he says, only 80%. Then there was the walk home; a romantic stroll through Manhattan. The bar, the ride in the elevator, and them struggling to say goodnight. Alexis says, it can’t happen again. When he goes before the board, his license is at stake. He says he needs to tell the truth that they’re more than friends.
Jordan says, Port Charles was Taggert’s home, and he did everything he could to keep it safe. She’s not sure if everyone knew, but he was planning to move back full-time, so he could be closer to his daughter. Now he’s a part of her – and them – always. Everyone raises their bottles again. Sonny tells Trina that he’s sorry, and she thanks him. He says he and Carly have her in they’re prayers. He tells Portia that Trina is great, and if they need anything, let him know. Portia thanks him, and says, it’s kind of him to come. She knows Taggert would appreciate it very much. Sonny says, he was a good man, and Portia says, yes; he was. Sonny asks how Cameron is, and Cameron says, he can’t complain. Well, he guesses he could… Sonny asks how his left hook is, and if he’s ready to come back to the gym. Cameron thinks so, and Sonny asks how Elizabeth is. She says, glad the kids are safe and sound. Sonny tells her, make sure to keep them safe. Josslyn wants to ask Sonny something, and they step away. She asks if it’s okay if she stays a little longer. She thinks Trina might need her. He says he’ll tell Michael and Wiley that she said hi. He leaves, and Josslyn says she hopes it was okay with Trina that Sonny came. Trina says she’s glad he did, and she’s not just saying that. Even though they were on opposite sides, like Sonny said, they respected each other, and that’s important.
Laura says Taggert asked Curtis to help him. He wanted Curtis to protect his daughter while he did what he knew he had to do. Curtis says he shouldn’t have left Taggert alone, but Laura says, according to the kids’ statements, it’s obvious if he hadn’t been there, they’d be having funerals for Cameron and Trina. He says he knows that, but… She says, no buts. When Taggert found out Cyrus had his daughter, he knew how it would play out. He put his daughter’s life in Curtis’s hands, and Curtis got her out of there. He says he doesn’t think Trina sees it that way, and Laura says, that’s the good thing about facts. It doesn’t matter how others see it. Curtis might not be a cop, but at the moment Taggert needed him most, Curtis was his partner.
Alexis asks if Neil is insane. He says, legally or psychologically? and she says, it’s not funny. If he tells the truth, he can kiss his career goodbye. He says if he doesn’t, he undermines his colleagues, and she says there won’t be anything to undermine. He tells her, say he lies, and they put whatever they’re calling this on hold for two years. He doesn’t think they can, but she says they have no choice. Someone reported him, and if they keep this up, they’ll report him again. He says he’ll tell the truth, but she says, no. He’s a great doctor, and this is coming from a patient he fired twelve times. He’s good at this. it’s who he is, and she’s not letting anyone take that away from him, including him.
Neil tells Alexis, like it or not, he has to tell the truth. Alexis says, the truth is, while he was treating her, they had an attraction, but didn’t act on it until she stopped treatment. He says, but they did, and she says, please don’t do this. He says he has to get ready, but before he does, he wants her to know, no matter what happens or what the board’s decision is, he doesn’t regret last night. He kisses her and leaves. She says, wow.
Ava shows up at the memorial, and Trina says she’s glad Ava is there. Ava says, of course (🍷); they’re friends, aren’t they? On a day like this, they all need friends. Portia watches Ava, and Jordan watches Portia.
Sonny goes to visit Michael, but says he’s not staying long. He just stopped by to see how Michael is doing. Sasha greets Sonny, but says she has to make some calls, and excuses herself. Sonny asks how Michael is doing, and Michael says, so far, so good. He’s spending every minute he can with Wiley, who’s napping right now. Sonny says, Michael will be a good father, and Michael says he learned from best. Every minute feels like a gift, especially since Wiley was taken away from him for so long. He knows he spent a lot of time with Wiley, but knowing Wiley is his son… He has to be sure Wiley stays with him.
Julian stands outside the door, listening to Scotty and Brad. Scotty says, it’s never too early to prepare a good defense. He needs to know if there’s someone Brad can share the blame with. Julian walks in, and Scotty asks what brings him by. Brad says he and Scotty are discussing legal stuff, and Julian asks Scotty if he can have a word with Brad. Scotty tells Brad to think about it, and don’t take too long. He tells Julian, the check cleared, and Julian asks if there was ever any doubt. Scotty says, yeah, especially with his clientele these days. He’s surprised Julian is there, since Brad isn’t Lucas’s favorite person right now. Julian says, like it or not (phrase of the day), Brad is still his son-in-law, and he’s here for him. Scotty says, touching, and leaves. Julian asks Brad if he gave Scotty any names, and Brad says, not yet, but they’re running out of time. Scotty thinks someone else is involved.
Jordan follows Portia to the bathroom, and asks if she’s okay. Portia says she’s fine, and Jordan asks if she’s sure. It can’t be easy. Portia tells her, she never said anything was easy. She loved Taggert very much, but he was never going to let go of his work. Jordan says, Taggert loved her and Trina; she has to know that. Portia says, she does know that, but so what? When it came down to choosing between them and his job, she and Trina never stood a chance.
Trina tells Josslyn and Cameron to talk to her about anything; college volleyball, even soccer, which is only interesting every four years when they compete for the World Cup. Josslyn says she wants a distraction? Something right in front of her to keep her focused? Trina says she does, and Josslyn says, college visits. She’s looking at schools in Florida, but her mom isn’t happy about that. Trina sees Curtis, and asks what the hell he’s doing there.
Trina says Curtis is the reason her father is dead. Because of him, all she has left is the burial flag. Everyone says she should be grateful to him for saving her life, but he should have saved her father. Portia comes over, and asks, what’s wrong? Trina says she wants him gone. She says, Curtis? and Curtis says, Portia? Trina says, they know each other? Jordan is like, hmm…
Sonny says he heard as soon as the charges were dropped, Nelle sued Michael for full custody. Michael tells him not to worry. He saw it coming, and he was ready. He took a leave of absence from ELQ, so he could focus on his son, and providing a home that no judge will want to take Wiley away from. Sonny understands where Michael is coming from, but says he loves running ELQ. Michael says it’s nothing in comparison to his son. There’s something else. He’s been dreading Brad’s trial, and having to listen to Nelle justify taking his son away. Sonny tells him not to worry. Things have a way of working out.
Julian tells Brad that he’ll do what he can, and Brad asks what Julian wants in return. Julian says he wants Brad quiet. If Brad cares about Lucas, don’t take one more thing from him. Brad says, meaning Julian, and Julian says Lucas has lost Wiley and Brad, and he’s the last thing Lucas has. Brad says, so Julian gets away with keeping Wiley from his family, while he takes the fall.
Alexis goes to the hearing. Dr. Crouse introduces herself and thanks Alexis for coming. Alexis says she’s happy to clear things up. Neil arrives, and Dr. Crouse suggests they get started. They’re here to review a complaint against Neil. She’s read their statements, and asks if Neil has anything to add. He says, not at this time, and she says, then they’ll be hearing from the other party first.
Trina says, Curtis and her mother know each other? Portia says, they used to, and Curtis says he didn’t mean to interrupt. He’s just there to pay his respects. Laura says, it’s her fault. She thought Curtis should be there. Portia thanks her, and Laura says she knew Taggert twenty years ago. He was a wonderful man and a dedicated cop. Trina says, now he’s dead. Why is everyone being nice to this man, when he’s the one responsible? She’s done. She runs off, and Cameron and Josslyn say they’ve got this, and follow her. Mac asks if Curtis wants a drink, but he says he’s good. Mac asks what about Ava? and she says, her? Yeah.A vodka martini with three olives. Jordan watches Curtis and Portia look at each other.
Portia tells Curtis, she’s so sorry. Forgive her daughter. Curtis tells her, Trina said nothing he hasn’t been telling himself. Portia says Trina owes him her life, but he says Trina’s father saved her life. He was just backup. She asks how long it’s been since they’ve seen each other, and he says, years, adding, he’s sorry for her loss.
Outside the bathroom, Cameron says they’re taking too long; he’s coming in. He asks if everything is okay, and Josslyn says, it’s all good, more or less. Trina says the less is that her father is gone, and the man responsible is an old friend of her mom’s. How twisted is that? Cameron knows she doesn’t want to hear this, and she says, then don’t say it. He tells her, he’s glad she’s alive, and she says he didn’t see what happened. Her dad against all those guys. Curtis dragged her away, and she can’t be grateful. Josslyn says, she got to say goodbye. If she can’t be grateful that she was saved, be grateful for the extra time she had with her dad. She doesn’t have to pretend. Cameron guesses he’s pretending too, but he’s not doing half as good a job. The whole morning was terrible. He’s glad he’s there, but knows it’s terrible for them too. Josslyn says, it is, and hugs Trina. Cameron comes in from the other side for a three-way hug.
Elizabeth tells Portia, they were so close to losing their kids, and Portia commends Trina’s support system. Ava says, Trina has a lot of people she can count on, including her. Portia says, what a wonderful role model. Ava says, it’s her husband’s memorial, and Portia can say what she wants. Curtis asks if Jordan is okay, and she says, it’s another reminder of life cut short. She asks how come he never mentioned he knew Trina’s mother, and he says he hadn’t realized who Trina’s mother was until just now.
Laura approaches Ava, and says she wondered if Nikolas would be joining her. Elizabeth says she was just asking about him. Ava says, Nikolas. Poor man, moping around that big house, looking like he lost his best friend. She’s hoping Elizabeth and Franco can join them for dinner sometime.
Brad tells Julian, the best thing to do for Lucas, is tell him his father lied every step of the way. Julian says he wouldn’t say every step. He’s kept Brad’s secret for the last few months, but he’s not the one who stole Wiley; that was Brad and Nelle. And he wouldn’t be part of this mess if Brad hadn’t begged him to keep the secret. He tells Brad, stick to the script, and he’ll take care of the rest.
Michael asks how Lucy is, and Sasha says, the same as always. She asks what his dad wanted, and he says Sonny was just checking on him, and wanting to solve all of his problems. Sasha says, everyone thinks they know what’s best for him and Wiley, and he says, it’s the story of his life. She says, he knows better than anyone what’s best for Wiley, and asks if he has any thoughts about Diane’s advice. He says, in olden times, the primary purpose of marriage was a business transaction – property, armies, money – it wasn’t about love. Sasha says she’s practically swooning, and he says, to a degree, it’s still like that. Maybe what Diane is expecting is for him to get down on one knee. As a lawyer she thinks marriage will help his custody case. Sasha wonders if he’s asking her.
Brad wonders where to begin, when Sonny walks in.
Dr. Crouse says, a complaint was filed that Neil and Alexis have a personal relationship, and asks if there’s any factual basis. Alexis says, the facts are as follows. They found themselves in the same venue – Bingo. She won, and doesn’t typically win that kind of thing, so she was super excited and kissed him impulsively. Nothing romantic; it was strictly out of joy. Dr. Crouse says, from winning at Bingo? and Alexis asks if she’s ever won. Dr. Crouse says she has, and there’s nothing like it. Does they have anything else to add regarding the relationship? Neil says, no, and Alexis says, actually, yes. She asks the board to take into account, Neil’s acumen as a therapist. Her daughter Kristina ended up in a cult, Dawn of Day. Dr. Crouse says she’s familiar with it, and she’s sorry to hear Alexis’s daughter got embroiled in it. Alexis says, Kristina’s father hired Neil to extricate her, and he was very successful. He led Kristian back to her family, and she has a healthy relationship with herself again. If not for Neil, Alexis would have no relationship with her daughter today. Dr. Bern is a very good therapist. He helps people; sometimes in sessions, and sometimes as a friend. After their sessions ended… Dr. Crouse says, they became friends? Alexis says, it’s a small town, and they run into each other, and frequent some of the same places. It would be ridiculous if when one of them walked in, the other walked out. They’ve chatted, and she wouldn’t say they’re friends, but friendly. Dr. Crouse says the board recognizes that Neil is a gifted therapist, which is why it’s even more imperative that he do what’s right. She asks Alexis to tell them in her own words, of what nature is her relationship with Neil?
Ava tells Elizabeth, let’s have dinner soon, and moves on. Laura tells Elizabeth that she guesses it wasn’t the place to say she wouldn’t be taking Ava up one it, and Elizabeth says she’d be fine blowing it off, but it will be hard to talk Franco out of it. Ava and Nikolas are up to something. Laura says, of course (🍷) they are. Trina comes back, and Portia asks if she’s okay now. Trina says she’s feeling better, and Portia suggests they go home. Ava tells Trina, it’s okay for her not to rush back to work, and Portia says, how kind of her, allowing Trina to mourn her dead father. Ava says she knows what a terrific multi-tasker their girl is. She’s sure Trina had it in her head to come in tomorrow. Trina says she was going to come by today, but Ava says she’ll do no such thing. Take her time. Her internship is waiting. Trina says they’ll talk later.
Elizabeth asks if she can give Josslyn a ride, but Josslyn says, Sonny has a car waiting. Cameron says, and bodyguards, and Elizabeth says, you can never be too safe. They look at Taggert’s picture, and Josslyn tells Cameron, she knows she’s said this a hundred times, but she’s glad he’s okay. They hug. Elizabeth tells Josslyn, be careful and stay safe. Jordan looks at her phone, and Curtis asks if it’s a text from TJ. She says, yeah, and the text reads that he needs time away to think things over. Don’t worry. Curtis says, TJ is licking his wounds. He’ll work it out. She says she’s not worried, but texts back for TJ to call and leave a message. She wants to hear his voice. She tells Curtis, she’s just verifying.
Dr. Crouse says, before they answer, she wants to emphasize that the patient review board is relying on their honest, concise, and forthright answers. She’s asking for what she hopes will be the last time, what is the nature of their relationship? Alexis says her relationship with Neil is strictly professional. Outside of the incident she told them about, their relationship has been cordial. She was his patient, and he was her therapist.
Michael tells Sasha, he’s willing to protect his son by any means necessary, but a marriage of convenience isn’t fair to anyone, especially her. Sasha appreciates him saying that, but if he was considering it, she would understand. He says he has no desire to create an instafamily for appearances sake, and she says she’s glad they’re on the same page. He says, but if the day ever came that he decided to get married, he would want it to be for the right reasons. Wouldn’t she? I wonder if I’m watching The Bachelor for a moment, and Sasha says absolutely. They can’t let anyone else dictate how they live. How they live is up to them, not Diane, and certainly not Nelle. They hug.
Brad asks what Sonny is going to do to him. Sonny says, that depends on what Brad says in the courtroom.
Tomorrow, Laura says they’ll use Cyrus’s own tactics against him, Brook visits Mike, and Sonny tells Brad to plead guilty.
The Haves and The Have Nots
After all he’s done to his mother and father, Wyatt thinks he wants to. Kathryn says she’s heard all of this before. She thinks he’s in jail and safe, and tells him to leave her alone. He asks if she knows how easy it is for him to kill himself there. He shows her a shank made from a toothbrush, and says, you can easily get a shank like this; it has a razor inside, and you can slit your wrists. She tells him, don’t do anything stupid, and he says, it’s just a way out. Doesn’t she think they’ll be happy if he does this? She says she’s not playing around, and he says neither is he. She calls for the guard, but he says he timed it so they’d be on shift change. Tell dad he’s sorry. He cuts his wrist, and she yells again for the guard.
Wyatt says, it shouldn’t be too long, and Kathryn tells him to put pressure on it. He says, it’s all too much, and she says she loves him. He says he knows, but he just can’t do this anymore. She continues to call for the guard, and Wyatt says, tell dad he loves him. Kathryn says he’ll be able to tell his dad himself; don’t do this. He tells her, don’t panic. They’ll all be much happier. She says they both love him, and he says he thought she said she didn’t. She says she gets upset sometimes. She cries, saying she gets angry and says things. He says, the truth always comes out. When he was seven, she always blamed the banana fosters. He loved those. She begs him to put pressure on it, and calls for the guard, but he says, doesn’t she want their last conversation to be one of peace? He loved those banana fosters; they were so good. He’d come home from boarding school, and be so excited to see her and dad, and asked her make him a banana foster. After a week, she’d start yelling at him; they’d get sick of him. Does she remember that? They were screaming because of something dad made her do. That’s the day the priest did to him what he did, and all he wanted was a banana foster to make him feel better. He just wanted her to hug him, but she looked at him, and made him feel so sad. He starts to slump, and falls. She screams his name, and sinks to the ground, sobbing. She calls for the guard again. I guess it must be a long shift change.
Jim’s thug comes into his hospital room, and says, Jim wanted to see him? Jim says it’s his lucky day; he’s giving another chance. The thug says, sorry, but Jim says, don’t be. This has nothing to do with the Malones. This one is easy. Veronica Harrington. He wants her. The thug asks how long Jim wants her held, and Jim says he wants her killed. He wants her dead, and he wants it to look like an accident. How does he think he’ll do it? The thug says he’s not sure, and Jim says, understand. It needs to look like an accident. The thug says, a car accident? but Jim says, something big; catastrophic. She hangs around with thugs. Come up with something plausible. The thug leaves, and Jim’s phone rings.
It’s AG Kyle, who says he heard Jim had an issue. Jim says he’s as well as can expected, and Kyle says Jim’s colleague said Jim wanted to talk to him. What’s going on? Jim asks if it’s a secure line, and Kyle says it is. Is Jim’s? Jim says, yes, and tells Kyle that he wants to talk about the situation. Kyle says he’s all over that, and Jim asks when he’s reaching out. Kyle says, tomorrow, but he can’t do anything about the other part. It’s a murder charge. Before, it was just conspiracy. Jim asks if Kyle is sure there’s nothing he can do, and Kyle says, it’s highly unlikely, but Jim says, at least try. Kyle says the little favor Jim did about Candace doesn’t pay this kind of debt. Jim says he can be helpful to Kyle if given the chance, and Kyle says, okay; he’ll consider it. Jim thanks him, and Kyle tells him, try to stay out of trouble. Jim says, not a chance in hell, and Kyle says he’s learning that about Jim. They’ll talk soon. Jim hangs up, and wonders, what the hell is going on?
Kyle tells Scott that Jim was calling in a favor, and Scott asks what Jim wants Kyle to do. Kyle says Jim wants him to help his wife, and Scott says, it’s a murder charge. Kyle says, Jim is something else. He thinks the little info he gave Kyle on Candace is enough. Scott tells him, be careful with Jim. These are the kind of people he has to watch, and not take for granted. There’s something going on with Candace. The press has turned the tide; they’re murdering him, and consoling her. Someone is behind this. Kyle has a gut feeling Scott knows who it is, but Scott insists he doesn’t. He tells Kyle, be careful with that Cryer guy, and Kyle says, just do his job.
Benny finds Mitch waiting for him as he drives up in his new truck. Mitch asks what the hell he’s doing with that thing, and Benny says it’s his. Mitch asks, how? and Benny says Candace set him up, so he bought two. Let’s get back in. Mitch asks where Candace is, and Benny says, she had to make a stop, but said she’d be back before she left. He wants to get the towing back up, and get at it with Mitch. Mitch asks how he got the money, and Benny says, don’t worry. Candace gave him a lot. Mitch says, it was nice of her, and Benny says Hanna is going to be mad as hell, but it’ll be all right. Mitch hopes the both of them will be all right, and Benny says, Hanna will be mad, but he’s not worried about Jim. If Jim comes after him, he’ll be ready with his badass truck. A horn beeps, and Candace pulls up, also in a new truck. Mitch says they all got big boy trucks, and Benny says they’re doing big boy things. Mitch asks if he can borrow Candace’s truck, and she says she bought it for him. She tosses Mitch the keys, and says she’s tired of seeing him drive around in that… He says his car is vintage, and she says, it’s a piece of junk. Mitch thanks her, and Benny wonders why Candace got the truck for Mitch; he didn’t do nothin’. Candace says, he saved Benny’s life; be happy for him. Benny says, all right. Candace says she has to pack for the airport, and they go inside.
Mitch says his new truck is bad as hell, and he and Benny fist bump. Benny says, they’re back in action. He realizes Hanna is there, and she says, so this is how it is. She asks what Candace got, and Candace says, nothing. Hanna says, no red bottoms? Her brother was kidnapped, and her baby was killed. Benny says, mom, but she tells him, shut up; she’s talking. She asks what they’re going to do when Jim comes for him, but Benny says, he won’t. She asks how he knows, and Benny says, he just knows. She says he’s crazy, and asks Candace, did you do something gansta, princess? Candace says, no, and Hanna says he’s coming, but Mitch says, he won’t. Hanna asks if he was in this conversation, and how does he know? Mitch says he talked to Jim. His family can be persuasive. Benny says, Mitch talked to Jim? Mitch says he did, and Benny asks what he said. Mitch says he told Jim that he can’t mess with them anymore. Hanna says her family is now gangster talking kids, and Benny says he knows she’s upset, but she’ll get over it. Candace gave him a million dollars.
Hanna says, a million dollars? and Benny says he’s keeping every dime. She says, then get out. He says he knew she’d say that, and if she likes, he’ll be glad to leave. Hanna says, so this is how it is, and Benny says, sorry. She tells him, get his sh*t, and get out. He says he thinks he’ll get a house; something small, around $200K. When Hanna calms down, she can come live with him. She wants no part of his gangster lifestyle, and he says when she’s tired of freeloading, let him know. She says she’s tired of her children not knowing how to do the right thing. They’re grown. She tells Benny, it won’t last, and he says he’s going to enjoy it while it does. She says she expected it from Candace. She was holding out hope, but wondering how long before Candace went back to her old ways. Candace says she couldn’t pass up the opportunity. Sorry. Hanna tells her, get her stuff and leave. When she comes back, she wants them both gone. And if they come back, the police will be there. She’ll have them arrested for stealing money. Candace says they didn’t steal it, and Hanna says they’ll let the police decide. She’s always said, she’d rather see Candace alive and in jail, than dead in the street. She can’t believe them. She leaves, and Mitch says, she is pissed. Benny says, she’ll be all right, and Mitch wants to take a spin in his new truck. He goes to do that, and Candace sits on the couch, with her head in her hands. Benny says he knows she’s not feeling bad. He suggests they get her stuff, and get hell out.
David goes back to his house. Jeffrey is lying on the couch, and asks if he’s sneaking in. David says, no, and Jeffrey says, it looks that way. He’s tiptoeing around like the Grinch. David asks if Jeffrey was sleeping, and Jeffrey says, this early? David says he knows Jeffrey likes to nap, but Jeffrey says he wasn’t asleep. Does David want to talk about it? David says, what? and Jeffrey says, what he saw. David says Jeffrey is a grown man, and Jeffrey asks if he minds that it was in the house? David says, no, and Jeffrey asks if he minds that it was Madison. David repeats, Jeffrey is grown. He does have a problem with what he saw, but it’ll be fine. Jeffrey asks why David is avoiding him, and David says he didn’t expect to see all that. Jeffrey asks if it weirded him out? and David says, to be honest, yes. Sorry. Jeffrey says, don’t be sorry, but David says, it’s who Jeffrey is. He’s just never seen it before. Jeffrey says, not even in college? and David says, no. Jeffrey says, damn, and David says he grew up in a different time. Jeffrey asks what gay people did back then, and David supposes they hid their sexuality; a lot of them were in the closet. Jeffrey guesses they had to be afraid, and says, it’s sad. David says he doesn’t want that for Jeffrey. He wants Jeffrey to be free. He says if Jeffrey had been with a girl, he wouldn’t feel this way. Jeffrey asks, what way? and David says he doesn’t know how he’s feeling. He needs time to deal. He tells Jeffrey that he loves him, and Jeffrey says he loves David too. David says, no matter who Jeffrey is sleeping with, just make sure they’re a consenting adult. He says he bought Jeffrey something, and Jeffrey says he saw it, but he doesn’t need a fifty pack of condoms. David says, they were on sale, and Jeffrey thanks him. I loved this scene. There was just the right amount of uncomfortable, and lots of love.
David asks if Jeffrey really likes Madison, and Jeffrey says, he’s still getting to know him. He knows what it’s like. David can’t tell him that he never had sex with someone he was still trying to get to know. David says he does, and he likes Madison better than Justin (said everybody). He’s happy for Jeffrey. Jeffrey says he and Madison are supposed to go out to dinner, and asks if it’s okay if Madison comes over afterward. David says, sure, but please, lock his door. Jeffrey and I laugh, and Jeffrey says, make sure to knock next time. David says he loves Jeffrey, and he’s a little embarrassed, but he’ll get over it. He tells Jeffrey, enjoy his dinner. Jeffrey says security phone him, and David says not to panic. It’s necessary. Jeffrey asks if David thinks Veronica will try it again, and David says he knows she will. Jeffrey says, damn, and David asks if Jeffrey loves his mother. Jeffrey says, she makes it harder every day. Why is he asking? David says he just wants to be sure. Jeffrey asks what he’s thinking, and David says he’s not thinking anything; he’s just asking. Jeffrey says David doesn’t ask if there’s not a reason. Is he going to do something to her? David tells him, have a nice time, and tell Madison he said hello. Jeffrey says, should something happen to his mother, he understands. He asks if a guard is going to follow him, and David says the guard will keep his distance. He’ll keep an eye out, and look out for his mother’s henchmen. Relax and enjoy himself. They’ll talk more later.
Scott says, Kyle wanted to see him? Kyle says they may have an issue. Senator Connelly Westlake. Charles wants to make him the AG. Scott says they were expecting it, but Kyle says they weren’t expecting him to get up in his bonnet over Candace. He was really upset. Scott says, Connelly has no reason to be upset about a whore, and Kyle says, well, he is. Kyle wonders if Charles is in love with Candace; impossible. Scott says, he’d be a fool, as would anyone who falls for a piece of ass. Kyle says the reason he called is, they need to make sure everything was done by the book, especially the last eight years. He doesn’t want Connelly opening an investigation about them. Scott says he’s on it, and Kyle says, itshould already be done. Scott says he’ll make sure it’s done correctly. Kyle says he thinks Scott might need to get rid of any evidence. He thinks she recognized him when she robbed him. Clean it up, and make it look like accident. Make it look a suicide. Charles will be heartbroken. Make sure it’s on Federal property, so they can make a Federal case out of it. Scott says, say goodbye to the President’s mistress.
Laura tidies up, and Veronica says she likes it a lot; Laura is good. She tells Laura that she needs to pick up the dry cleaning and to take her car. Laura protests, but Veronica says Laura isn’t taking her five grand suits on the bus. She says Laura is a sweet girl, and Laura tells Veronica, her mom… Veronica interrupts, and tells her she has a job to do, and Veronica just expects her to do it. Laura says, sorry, and Veronica says, don’t be sorry; be better. There’s a knock at the door, and Laura answers it. She tells Veronica, he said his name is Rondell (yay! a name!), and Veronica says, let him in. Rondell walks in, and Veronica asks, what’s going on? He says he just came to holler at her. They’re out for her. She asks, who? and he says he doesn’t know; a foreign dude. She says, it’s probably David, and he says she needs to watch her back for real. She says her back is fine, and he asks if she’s sure she doesn’t need muscle around, but she says he’s not muscly enough. She sort of flirts with him, and takes his hand, asking if they’re good, now that she paid for his brother’s funeral and his kids’ tuition. He says they are, but she needs to lay low until this blows over. The dude who’s looking for her ain’t a good dude. She says she can handle it, and he says she ain’t scared of nothing, is she? She says, not really. Except the whore he’s sleeping with. He says he’s been checked, but she says he’s not touching her until she sees the blood test. He says he’s glad they’re cool now, and to let him know if she wants anything. He leaves, and she says, damn. Weed and malt liquor. Veronica has to do better than this. She calls for Laura, saying, Lucy bring the air freshener please.
Madison and Jeffrey go out to dinner, and Madison thanks Jeffrey for asking him out. Jeffrey says he didn’t really ask Madison out, and Madison guesses he’s right; he demanded it. Jeffrey says he hopes Madison brought his wallet, and Madison says he hopes Jeffrey brought his appetite. Jeffrey says he did, and Madison says, how about his sexual one? Jeffrey says, that was lame, and Madison says, don’t act like he didn’t want to finish. Jeffrey asks if they’re really talking about that right now, and Madison says they can talk later. He tells Jeffrey, for someone who’s trying so hard to resist, he seems to be getting excited. Jeffrey asks how Madison knows that, and Madison says, when Jeffrey is excited, he acts like he’s not interested. He needs to lighten up. Jeffrey asks, what’s on the menu? and Madison says, him. Jeffrey asks what’s wrong with him? and Madison asks if Jeffrey can blame him. Since day one, when he saw Jeffrey, he wondered, who is that? Jeffrey says he did too, and Madison says, then don’t act like he didn’t want the same thing. Jeffrey says he did, and asks if they can order now. Madison asks if Jeffrey is in a hurry, and Jeffrey says, the sooner the meal is over, the sooner they can leave. Madison calls, waiter! and they order.
Laura goes home to her apartment, and her boyfriend? husband? asks where she’s been. She says she got the job. He says, with Veronica? and she says, yes. He says, it’s the score they’ve been looking for. He asks how Veronica is, and Laura says, she’s a bitch. He wouldn’t believe it. She needs him to case the place, and he says he could do his pool boy thing. She doesn’t like it, but he says, it’s the best way in. She agrees, telling him to do what he’s got to. He says he loves her, and she says she loves him too. He says they’re about to be so rich. She says, they are, and she’s so horny. She tells him, take his clothes off, and he asks if she’s got dollars. She says, it’s on credit. Tonight’s a good night, and she’s going to cash in. He takes his shirt off, and she grabs his belt, pulling him closer. He kisses her, and carries her to the bedroom. Since she never once called him by name, I picked up one character’s name, only for a nameless one to negate it.
Candace tells Benny, Hanna is pissed. Benny says he knows, and she says they were just getting on good terms. Benny says, it’s crazy for her to think they weren’t taking the money. Candace says she almost didn’t, and Benny says she would have regretted it for the rest of her life. She says she’s not looking back, and Benny picks up his laptop. He says he’s looking up Derrick, and Candace says, for what? He says Derrick pissed mom off, but Candace says, let it go; she’s serious. He shows her a mug shot, and says, dude is in jail. He reads something, and asks if the man who raped Hanna didn’t have a lion tattoo on his chest. He and Candace look at each other, and I think he knows Candace knows who Derrick is.
The Haves and The Have Nots returns in the fall.
Vanderpump Rules
Fingers crossed that James does something stupid. Oh, wait. If he’s in this episode, he’ll be doing something stupid. No finger crossing necessary.
Kentucky Castle, Versailles, Kentucky. Brittany thanks everyone for coming. Jax says, they’ve come a long way, and he and Brittany appreciate it. A guy walks through the guests to the front, and says he’s a Junior Detective with the New York Police Department, and wherever he goes, murder seems to follow. In her interview, Brittany says, it’s a murder mystery party. The guy says he’s recruiting them be amateur detectives. In Stassi’s interview, she says everyone who knows her, knows she loves murder and solving mysteries. This is the role she was born to play. We see what looks like an old black and white film, with the title of The Case of the Kentucky Castle Killer. The guests try to solve the mystery, and in her interview, Stassi says, it’s legit the most romantic thing she’s ever seen.
One hour later. The pseudo detective asks, who had the most motive? and Lala guesses correctly. He says, Lindsay killed her brother, and the person playing her says she had no choice; he was running the business into the ground. In Lala’s interview, she says Lindsay’s dad wasn’t leaving the company to her because she’s a woman, so she killed her brother. Lala tells Stassi, you can’t overthink the game; she never asked one question. Brittany’s niece Presley, comes over to where Stassi and Lala are sitting, and switches her wristlet for Stassi’s designer purse.
Lala tells Katie that she’s confused about Carter. He and Kristen aren’t together, but he’s coming to the wedding. Katie says, he was only invited as a guest, not on his own. Lala asks Kristen if Carter is her date, and Kristen says he deserves to be at the wedding. He’s her best friend. We flash back to their train wreck of a relationship, and Stassi asks if Kristen can’t be real for one second. She’s tried to have conversations with Kristen, but she won’t be honest. Lala says they care about her well-being. Kristen tells Katie that she’s a bitch, and she knows it’s hard for Stassi. Because Kristen is conflicted, Stassi doesn’t know where she stands, and she’s being obnoxious. Brittany swoops down on them, and says, no more fighting. In Kristen’s interview, she says she feels like she’s on a friendship peninsula that’s turning into an island. Her two best friends want nothing to do with her. She can’t imagine doing that to anyone.
At SUR, Dayna and Adriana (not Madix) commiserate about the restaurant being busy. Adriana asks what’s the deal with Dayna and Max, and Dayna says they’re exclusive and dating. Adriana says, this is awkward, but she saw Max with another girl. He didn’t see her, but he was with a girl, and they seemed friendly. It was right after Pride, and she told Danica about it. They stalked the girl on Instagram, and she thinks she found her. She shows Dayna a picture, and Dayna says, that’s TomTom’s Pride shirt. In her interview, Dayna says the shirts were made for Pride at TomTom’s, and Max was the only person who had them. He didn’t even give her one. Adriana says Dayna knows what happened with her and Max, right? It’s the same pattern. Dayna says she literally (she loves that word like Christian Siriano loves awesome) feels sick. In her interview, she says, everybody was right about Max.He’s a f***boy. Adriana says, Max is not a good guy, and Dayna says, wow.
Stassi’s mother is there for the wedding, and in Stassi’s interview, she says, Brittany is so into family, she let them invite anyone they were related to. Brittany says they’re getting mani/pedis tomorrow, and she’s so excited. Lala tells Brittany that she’s marrying the love of her life, and they’ve gone through some sh*t. In Brittany’s interview, she says she and Jax planned everything together, and it’s weird he’s not there tonight. She’s hoping he’s okay. In Jax’s interview, he says he stayed in. He needed time to himself, and to spend with his father. He knows his father is out there, and when he thinks about him too much, he goes into a hole. He wants to make his father proud. Getting hammered isn’t it, which is why he’s not going. He’s doing what he thinks is right. Lala asks Brittany about Lisa, and Brittany says she texted Lisa before they left L.A. She told Lisa not to stress about the wedding.
Beau wonders who will cry. Tom says, if Brittany cries, he’s going to cry, and they hug. Kristen asks Beau if he’s having fun. He says he is, and she says they were friends even before he met Stassi. He says he’s still her boy, but it’s different now. He and Stassi are in a relationship, and Stassi is his number one. At this point, Kristen leaves the real world, and says she’s tired of everyone coming down on her about Carter. She and Stassi were arguing earlier, and she wants to know why she’s being dragged for something that’s hard for her. No one is asking if she’s cool. She calls him self-involved, says, screw you, and goes off on him for favoring his girlfriend over her. In Beau’s interview, he says Kristen is giving him anxiety just listening. She talks to you and over you, and doesn’t get it. Beau suggests they get unselfish, and focus on Brittany and Jax. They clink plastic cups.
Brittany tells Jax, one more day. She wishes he would get a pedicure, but he says he wouldn’t do that to someone. Wedding planner Mitchell knocks on the door, and brings in what looks like a small woodgrain upscale cooler. In Jax’s interview, he says his dad has been in a box for two years. He talked to Mitchell about what to keep him in. He likes to take him out, and put him in the front seat for a drive, or take him out in the backyard. Jax gets all emotional, and thanks Mitchell.
Everyone nurses their hangovers, and gets ready to go to the pool. Lala stops by Scheana and Kristen’s room She asks if Kristen is grumpy, and Scheana says Lala was kind of yelling at Kristen. Lala thinks they have a different point of view about yelling. Kristen says she’s tired of it. You don’t treat the people you love like that.
Katie tells Schwartz that Kristen makes her feel psycho, and he says he lived with Kristen. She’s the only person he’s ever wanted to murder. Beau tells Stassi about how Kristen got upset when he told her that Stassi was number one in his life. Stassi says, Kristen needs to understand that she’s not number one in someone else’s boyfriend’s life. In Stassi’s interview, she says, when Kristen slept with Jax, she had to get over it. She doesn’t like when Kristen texts Beau to discuss a falling out with her. She thought nothing could shake their unbreakable bond, but no, sh*t can. She tells Beau, Kristen is a psychopath, and Beau suggests they stay on opposite sides of the pool. Stassi says, once the wedding is over, she’s saying goodbye to Kristen.
Schwartz and Jax stop by to get Beau on their way to the pool. The guys ask what Jax did last night, and he says he watched Friends. He can’t do three nights in a row of drinking. Schwartz says he was never legally married, since there was no license. Stassi is shook. In Schwartz’s interview, he says it was his duty was to make sure the license was in a secure place, and he lost it. It was a piece of paper, and he didn’t understand it was important. He let it slip to the one guy he shouldn’t have let it slip to (Jax?), and now that the cat is out of the bag, he needs to tell everyone first. Stassi asks how he and Katie do their taxes, and he says, married, separately. She says, but they’re not married. In his interview, Jax says he never thought he’d be the first guy out of the group to be married.
At the pool, Stassi says she’s upset with Katie. She thought they had no secrets, and Katie isn’t married. In Katie’s interview, she says she planned the entire wedding. This is on Schwartz. We see a clip of them with Lisa at their wedding, and Lisa asking about the license. Tom says he doesn’t know where it is. Stassi shouts that Schwartz and Katie are single.
Scheana tells Lala about James blowing up her and Raquel’s phones, after Raquel went out drinking with her and some other friends. She had twenty-two missed calls. Ariana says, James was texting Raquel messed up stuff, and she warned Raquel that she was going to start believing what James was saying if it continues. Scheana says Raquel and James talked, and James said he’d go to an AA meeting. Lala asks if she’s sure he said he’d go to a meeting, and Scheana tells her, he’s never said that before. Lala says, it’s the first step. In Lala’s interview, she says she’s seen James at his best, and she’s happy for him. She tells Scheana, she’d be more than happy to talk to him about her experience, and Scheana thinks that would mean something. Lala says she’ll reach out. Right now, she has to pick Rand up.
Tom asks Brittany if they’re going to Lexington tonight, and she says they’re going to a cool speakeasy for a meet and greet, then the girls and guys are separating. Stassi sees Kristen talking to her mom, and says Kristen is tainting her brain. In her interview, Stassi says Kristen latches on to her friends and family, and talks to them and texts them. She sees Stassi’s mother more than she does. She tells Katie about how Kristen got mad that Beau wouldn’t put her first, and Katie thinks it’s weird. So do I. He’s not her brother for God’s sake.
Max comes by Dayna’s apartment, and she asks if he has anything he thinks he needs to tell her. He says, no, and she says, he’s not dating this girl? She shows him the picture, and he says, no, but he sure looks guilty. He said he’d been seeing her in San Diego, and then she moved there. Dayna asks if she moved there for him, and he says he was easing her off of him (oh please). Dayna asks why she has a Pride shirt, and he says he gave one to everyone. She asks when was the last time he saw her. He says after Pride, and Dayna asks if they went out alone. He says they did, and Dayna asks if he screwed her. He says, no, and in his interview, he says he’s tired of defending himself. They went to lunch, and it was like lunch with his mom. He threw a shirt at her before they parted company. It’s not like she was naked in his bed and had no shirt to wear. He tells Dayna, he feels awful about how she feels, but he’s wondering if this is a good idea. Dayna says, screw it. She’s not into this bullsh*t; this is done. Max says, that’s it? In Dayna’s interview, she says she’s hurt right now. This is not how she saw things going with him. She has sensitivity to someone wasting her time or not valuing her. She puts his necklace in the litter box, and swirls it around. She tells the cat, when she sees him at TomTom, hitting on every girl and their mother, she’ll know he’s wearing a poo necklace, and she’ll feel better about that.
At the speakeasy, Stassi and Katie try to avoid Kristen. Ran arrives, and there are hugs all around. Everyone goes into shock when they see he brought Lisa. Brittany starts crying, and hugs her. Lisa hugs Jax, and says, it was last minute. She thought she’d be in London, but the funeral was delayed until next week. In her interview, she says the funeral was happening later than she thought it would, and she realized she could make the wedding. She called Rand, and said they needed to get there asap. Puffy! She’s there to support Brittany and Jax, and show how happy she is for them. She can stand in the gap, since Jax’s mother isn’t there. In the light of losing her own mother, she understands the importance. Jax says, it means so much to him.
Jax sit with Lisa, and outside the window, Lexington’s Gay Pride is going on. Jax says he’s got to laugh. Lisa asks if his mother had any reaction to the wedding weekend, but he says he doesn’t know. His godmother Jane is giving him away. He chokes up, and says they’re the family he has, since he only has his sister Jenny. He appreciates Lisa being there. In his interview, he says she’s been like a mother to him since they met. He looks up to her, and since he has no parents there, having an alternate parent is wonderful.
Brittany keeps up her mantra of I’m getting married. Stassi can’t believe Lisa is there, and says Lisa won’t believe what she found out. Lisa asks if it’s something important, and Stassi says she thinks Lisa might laugh. Tom and Katie aren’t legally married. Lisa asks what she’s talking about. In Lisa’s interview, she says, you’ve got to be effing kidding. All the effort she put into writing the vows – we flash back to the ceremony – and they’re not even married. She put more into it than they did. Everyone looks out the window to see Beau line dancing. Stassi says she loves it so much. In her interview, she says it warms her heart that he’s extra. It makes life lively, and he brings the energy up wherever he goes. She’s not like that.
James goes to TomTom, and orders a Coke. He tells Max it’s weird that no one is there except them. Max says, someone has to run TomTom. They marvel at Jax getting married, and Max says he’s clearly not happy about what happened with Dayna. James asks if they were going official, and Max says they weren’t official, but he liked hanging out with her. Someone brought out an old girlfriend, and created a story when they saw them at lunch. Now they’re kind of ending it, and it’s a mess. In his interview, Max says it would have been fine if everyone had stayed out of their business. Max tells James, Danica has been saying negative stuff. In his interview, he says, Danica has been effing stuff up since day one. He doesn’t understand why she wants to sabotage him. He tells James, he wants to 86 Danica. James says Raquel gave him an ultimatum. She wants him to quit drinking; he thought she was about to whip him. Max can’t see Raquel mad, and James says he agreed with what she said. In James’s interview, he says he and Raquel talked about his drinking. He hasn’t gone to a meeting yet, and doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want to drive across town, and talk to a bunch of people, eating donuts in a cold room, and listening to their stories. But if Raquel wants him to go, he’ll go. She means everything to him. Yeah. I can tell by the way he treats her.
20 hours until the ceremony. Jax asks if everything is okay, and Brittany says they’re getting married tomorrow. He asks if she wants to call it off, and she says, never. Tom says, it’s surreal that their boy is getting married. It’s a moment he never thought would happen. In Tom’s interview, he says, this isn’t just any guy. It’s Jax-effing-Taylor. He’s banged at least 300 women, and that’s just at SUR. He was a f***boy before it was a phrase. Brittany tells Jax, it’s the last time they’re going to see each other before they walk down the aisle. Schwartz says, Jax used to do full-on speeches about not getting married, and called him a chump. In Schwartz’s interview, he says when he flash backs to when they lived together, and fast forwards to now, it’s surreal. Brittany tells Jax, the big day is tomorrow. He says he’s going to hang out with the guys, but he’s not drinking anymore. Brittany says, let’s party, but be good.
The girls gather. In Brittany’s interview, she says she told them all to being onesies of something that would live in a castle, like a princess, unicorn, or mermaid. She loves the fantasy world, and was raised on everything princess. Kristen walks around with her onesie half falling off, and in Stassi’s interview, she says, Kristen is oblivious, and can’t keep it together. Stassi says Brittany is going to be part of a new family, and Brittany says she gets a new sister tomorrow. They have a twerking contest. In her interview, Stassi wonders how everyone suddenly became twerking masters. She feels she’s at a disadvantage with her flat ass. The girls screech over Brittany getting married, and she hopes Jax isn’t still drinking. She thinks it’s time to call it a night.
At the guys’ party, Beau shows up dressed as a knight. In his interview, he says, they are in a castle. He’s Sir Ladles-a-lot. He slays soups, and drinks shots. When Jax comes in, they all chant his name. Tom says he has everything. He even brought tampons – top of the line tampons. In Jax’s interview, he says, Jax doesn’t want to go away quietly. This is his last dance. He drinks out of the bottle, and says he probably should stop drinking. He tells the others, he’s not going to lie; he’s pretty sh*tfaced. He never thought in a million years he’d get married, but Brittany is the best woman for him. We flash back to the beginning of their relationship, and in his interview, he says she’s his best friend; his partner in crime. He 100% believes the person he was before, wasn’t good enough for her. We flash back to all the problems they had, and he says, when he cheated, it was typical Jax, sabotaging his relationships. He didn’t make the best decisions. Brittany could have left at any time, but she didn’t. He put her through hell and back, and she deserves the world. Tom says he’s about to be married for the rest of his life, and Jax says he’s super happy. In his interview, Jax says he’ll have to work on the relationship for the rest of his life. It’s not as easy for him as it is with other people. His life is in a good place. He thinks he’s grown, and doesn’t see himself going down that road again.
Katie says Brittany is a princess in a tower, and Jax is the Beast. Brittany says, he’ll be a prince tomorrow. She says she’s excited, and it’s time for lights out. In Jax’s interview, he says he’s scared. His worst fear is Brittany not being happy anymore.
Next time, the wedding is here! Stassi tells Beau, a proposal is the one part of her life she doesn’t have control over; Kristen calls out Carter for being abusive; and Dayna asks if Max still has feelings for her.
💃🏾 I checked out Family Karma, and although I couldn’t give it my full attention, it looked like fun. I love seeing how other cultures live, and they seem like a colorful bunch. No doubt there will also be marvelous food porn throughout the season. You can check the cast out here:
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
Brook accepts an award, giving a special thanks to Julian, for making this special moment possible. She finishes her speech looking in the bathroom mirror, and then does vocal exercises using her hairbrush as a microphone. Olivia asks if Michael heard Brook rehearsing in the bathroom, and he says he just hopes she doesn’t wake up Wiley, who’s cranky. Olivia says, it’s a small price to pay for a miracle.
On the phone, Ned asks what they mean be a dead end. He’s paying for answers, not excuses. He knows it’s complicated. Life is complicated and so are the Quartermaine finances.
Linc stands on the pier. Julian walks out, and without looking at him, Linc says, it’s about damn time. He has better things to do than freeze. Julian says he really can’t think of anywhere else he’d want to be.
At the MetroCourt, Peter says Maxie is quiet. Is it work or something else? She says she turned down Spinelli’s invitation to lunch. He’s just going to ask annoying questions, and she’s not subjecting herself to another inquisition. Peter is making an effort to get along; why can’t Spinelli? If he doesn’t trust her judgement, it’s his problem, not Peter’s. Peter says he doesn’t want to come between her and Spinelli, and she can’t keep avoiding Spinelli on his account. She says this is one of the reasons she loves him, and she’ll think about rescheduling. Peter says he has to talk to her about something else. Spinelli isn’t the only one questioning his past. She’s probably wondering what came between Finn and Anna, and it’s time he told her the real reason.
Alexis tells Valentin, a penny for his thoughts, and sets one in front of him. He says he was thinking about how far he’s come since they last stood on the terrace together, and she says, since he found out he’s not Mikkos’s son. He says it’s good of her to check on him, and she says she’s glad he’s in a better place, but she doesn’t think her pep talk had anything to do with it. What changed?
In Rice Plaza, Finn asks if Violet is ready for her ice skating lesson. She says she wishes she could have one every day, and he tells her, don’t be in a hurry to grow up. She says, look! It’s Anna! and Anna comes over to them. Violet asks if she’s come to skate, and Anna says she’d love to, but doesn’t want to intrude. She was getting some tea. Violet tells Finn, make her stay, and Finn says, it’s hard to say no to his daughter. He doesn’t want to disappoint Violet. Anna says, of course (🍷) not. Violet tells him to go get the tea; she wants to talk to Anna. He asks if Violet wants a hot chocolate, and Violet says, with extra whipped cream. Anna guesses she knows who’s boss in the relationship. Violet says she’s missed Anna, and Anna says she misses Violet too, and they hug.
Maxie asks if Peter was trying to protect her, and he says, maybe himself too. Whatever the reason, she needs to know what’s being said about him. She says she knows, and doesn’t care, but he says, please. A lot of people have questions about his past, and he’s come to realize, in the end, it comes down to love. That’s what it’s really about. Jason loves Sam, so he’s searching for someone to blame for breaking Shiloh out of custody, which led Sam to kill Shiloh. Robert loves Anna, so he’s skeptical of Peter because he’s Faison’s son. Spinelli’s love for Maxie, and his faith in Jason, cause him to distrust Peter as well. Then Finn and Anna became engaged, but because Finn loves Anna, he can’t bear the thought that she’s possibly being conned by the son she gave up, even though there’s no proof otherwise. Maxie believes him, doesn’t she?
Brook comes into the living room, saying, hello, beautiful family. It’s a gorgeous day. The sun is shining, and the birds are chirping. Michael says he heard one bird in particular, and Ned says he’s not sure Brook’s outfit is appropriate for the ELQ office. She says she didn’t think he was serious. She’s not equipped to answer phones. She calls him Eddie, and says he knows what it means to pursue a dream. Michael says he’s going to take off, but Ned stops him, saying he needs a witness so Brook can’t wriggle out of this. Brook says she thought Ned was challenging her to get her career in gear, but Ned says he was challenging her to grow up, and be responsible, like every other adult in the family. What she did was the opposite of responsible. Her contract is valid, and the producer refuses to sell it. Brook says she wouldn’t worry. She has a feeling Linc is coming around.
Julian tells Linc, some people think this is a bad neighborhood, but he likes the quiet. You could fall into the water, and no one would hear your cries for help. Linc asks if he knows Julian, and Julian says, maybe. He deals with a lot of people. Linc says he’s meeting someone, and he’s not into game playing with strangers. Julian says, you know who isn’t a stranger? Brook. Linc asks, what about her? and Julian says he thought Linc would never ask. He puts his hand on Linc’s shoulder, and says Linc has her under contract. He pulls Linc closer and says, that’s about to change.
Valentin tells Alexis, he was feeling defeated and hopeless, but realized it was just a temporary setback. He’s had them before. The great thing about setbacks is, they introduce you to your greatest strengths. She asks what he’s doing with his newfound strength, and he asks what she would do. Would she deny the legacy that’s rightfully hers? She says, if he’s talking about the Cassadine fortune, get over it. If he’s referring to the Cassadine name, he’s better off without it. Where has it gotten him? He says, Shakespeare would say, what’s in a name? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. She says, words to live by, and he says, maybe, but he doesn’t agree. She says, unwise, but he says he’s keeping the name, and all that goes with it. With every drop of his blood, sweat, and tears, he’s earned it.
Alexis asks if Valentin is talking revenge, and he says, redemption. He was cornered like a common criminal, and wants his daughter’s respect. She says, if Charlotte is going to respect him, he has to respect himself. He says, not a problem, but she says he’s on the outside, looking in. She was too, and it wasn’t until she turned her back on the Cassadine name, and built a life for herself, that she got a modicum of self-respect. He says she might be right; he’ll look at it. She laughs, and says she won’t hold her breath. He says she’s too cynical, another thing they have in common. It took him learning about his sister to realize how alike they are. He kisses her cheek, and leaves.
Ned asks if Brook’s producer had a change of heart, and she asks if he thinks Linc has a heart. Linc is going to do what he thinks is best, and she thinks it’s in his best interest to tear it up. He says, whatever scheme she’s up to, stop it right now. He refuses to clean up another of her disastrous mistakes. Olivia says, they all know how he feels about the subject. Leo asked if Ned would visit him in the playhouse before he goes to the park. Ned says he and Brook aren’t finished talking, but leaves to find Leo. Brook asks if Ned is always such a sourpuss in the morning, and Michael says Ned is worried about her. She says he has a funny way of showing it, and he says, sorry if he made it worse by teasing her. He hopes she succeeds. She says she wishes him only happiness with Wiley; he’s so cute. Michael says, he is, but it’s hard for him to adjust right now. She says, he doesn’t know what a bad thing Brad did, and Michael says he has to make up for lost time, and forge a relationship. It’s different for Willow and Lucas. Willow is grieving a son she didn’t know was gone, and Lucas’s whole world has fallen apart. His husband is a liar and a kidnapper, and the son he loved isn’t even his. Brook flashes back to her conversation with Julian, and Julian saying Sonny will put a bullet in his back. It’s a lot of weight to carry, and what about Lucas? He’s going to lose another loved one if she puts a target on Julian because of her overactive imagination.
Julian asks if Linc is shaking because it’s cold. He pushes Linc toward the water, and Linc says Julian misunderstood. He really cares about Brook. Three albums in five years is the industry standard. Julian says he doesn’t know much about music. The car radio is about as far as it goes for him, but somebody like Brook doesn’t want to make music for Linc, and she doesn’t want to wait five years. She wants to fly solo. Linc asks if Julian is joking. Is he actually going to throw Linc in the water if he doesn’t let Brook break the contract? Julian says, it’s up to Linc. He has friends, a lot of them, and while he knows little about the industry, they know a lot. They can make it difficult for Linc to stay in business; deny him access to studios and distributions, disrupt his concerts, stop him from getting venues. He puts his arm around Linc’s neck, and says what happens next, is entirely up to him.
Maxie wonders how Peter can ask if she believes him. He says he’s the one responsible for the awkwardness between her and Spinelli. She kisses him, and asks if it answers his question. He says, very much so, but she says she’s not letting him off that easy. Don’t say he’s trying to protect her either. She’s not a fragile flower that wilts at bad news. Either they tell each other everything, or they don’t have a relationship. He says he was trying to protect himself. She asks if he’s worried she’ll believe what other people say about him. She believes in them. Too bad. No one can come between them, but them. He tells her she can come down off her soapbox now, but she says she likes it up there. He says she does look good on it. Obrecht comes in, and tells them, like a little girl with red shoes once said, there’s no place like home.
Anna asks Violet how Bella and Otto are. Violet says, they’re not talking. Anna asks, what happened? and Finn says, they had an argument. Violet says, Otto might change his mind if Anna visits. Anna say she knows how stubborn Otto can be at times. The skating instructor arrives, and asks if Violet is ready for her lesson. She tells Finn that his daughter is a great kid. Violet leaves with her, and Finn tells her, have fun. He’ll be watching.
Finn and Anna watch Violet skate. Finn says, it’s hard to watch when Violet falls, and Anna says, look; she’s back up. She asks how he is, and he says, her first. She wonders if they should continue talking about stuffed animals. They don’t have to be separated. They fell down, and it hurts, but they can get back up.
Obrecht gives Maxie some schnapps for her and Peter on those wintry nights, and some gifts for James. Maxie says he’s going to love them, and he’s going to love seeing his oma. She must have had a good time in Switzerland. Obrecht says, the spa was wonderful, and Peter asks if a tall, dark stranger swept her off her feet. She says she got something better; peace of mind. Maxie said Obrecht told her that she was going to do some soul searching, and Peter says, she has a soul? Obrecht says her problems are self-inflicted. She’s not unlovable, but hasn’t forgiven herself. Since Nathan’s death, she’s been angry at the world, in particular, Peter, as if he’s to blame, while she’s just taking on more blame. Maxie says, it doesn’t matter, and Obrecht says she realized she was angry with herself for not breaking away from Peter’s father sooner. Maxie’s phone rings, and she says, typical. She’s been trying to run something by Nina, and now she wants to call. Peter says, Obrecht was saying about his father?
Michael tells Brook, she’s not just talented. She has the presence that turns talented people into a star, and he’s sure she’s done what she can to make that happen. Brook says she’s got to go. Ned comes in, and says, tell him he ruined Brook’s good mood my mentioning the word job. Michael says, she’s just emotional. It’s an emotional time for all of them. Ned says, it’s almost too much to process, and Michael says, it’s as good a time as any to make his pitch. He’s been doing some thinking. Wiley is used to having Michael in his life, but not as a father. Olivia says, Wiley will come around; he’ll adjust. Michael says he comes home from the office, and kisses Wiley goodnight. He needs to sit down and have a meal with Wiley, play with him, and read him stories, not just at bedtime. Ned says Michael wants quality time with his son, and Michael says Ned has been good about pitching in at ELQ. He hates to ask Ned to do more, but he needs to take a leave of absence. He was hoping Ned could take over until he gets back.
Linc says, maybe there’s another way out of this. He could think more clearly if Julian would let go. Julian says, the way he sees it, there’s a plan A and a plan B. He already laid out plan A; tear up Brook’s contract. Linc asks, what’s plan B, and Julian says Linc goes swimming in the icy cold water of Port Charles harbor. He can decide. Valentin walks onto the pier, and asks, what seems to be the problem?
Julian tells Valentin, it doesn’t concern him. He’s passing on a message from a mutual friend. Valentin says, Julian has friends? Julian asks Linc, message received?Nod once for yes. Linc nods, and Julian says, good. He doesn’t want to meet again. Julian leaves, and Linc tells Valentin, he didn’t sign up for this. Julian said he’d make his life a living hell. Valentin says Linc has been well compensated for his effort, but Linc says, not really. No one told him that he could be ruined, or it could cost him his life. Valentin says, if Brook is having Julian threaten him, that means she’s desperate.
Ned tells Michael that he doesn’t have to step away. Wiley is comfortable with the nanny, and everyone is pitching in. Olivia says, before Michael knows it, Wiley will be going off to pre-K like any other well-adjusted, independent little kid. Michael says, Wiley’s life has been torn apart. Wiley needs to know he’ll be there, and his attention can’t be divided. Ned asks how long Michael is talking about, and Michael says, a month, tops. Ned tells him, how can he say no?
Anna says Finn is used to dealing with infectious diseases, but sometimes things just need a kiss to be made better. Finn says, a bandage is a temporary fix. Sometimes a cut runs deeper. Violet calls to them, saying, look at me, and Anna says, Violet is quite graceful. He says, she’s so resilient. Everything she’s been through has barely harmed her. Anna asks if Finn told the police about his suspicions, and he says he told his brother, but he didn’t mention Peter being involved with anything, or Anna withholding evidence. Anna asks what he actually told Chase, and Finn says he told Chase that he moved out because he doesn’t trust Peter.
Peter says, it sounds like the mountain air was refreshing and illuminating, and asks Obrecht, what else? She says it really hit her; all the ethical and legal lines she crossed in a desperate attempt to be worth of Faison. Peter says Faison had power over them, and she says, not any longer. She realized if she continued down that dark path, she could hurt Maxie and James, and she couldn’t bear it. She knows how he loves them, and nothing should ever change that. She says they’re very much alike. They’re both trying to live down their past. He says she used his past to her advantage, but she says she’s not that person anymore.
Ned calls his assistant to set up a meeting asap. He wants everyone to attend, including the executive staff and financial advisors. He’ll explain the CEO change when he gets there. Olivia says he forgot to mention, it’s temporary, and he says he’ll explain at the meeting. Olivia says, Michael might not want to give up his position, but Ned says, Michael has a lot going on. He wants to make things easier so Michael can take care of his son. She says, don’t kid a kidder, and he says he only has Michael’s best interest at heart. She says, as well as ELQ, and Ned says, not only is there a hostile takeover in the works, the Corinthos family is in turbulent times. ELQ needs more seasoned leadership. She says, nice speech, and he says when he sits down as CEO, he’ll make the deal permanent.
On the phone, Brook says she’s so sorry for what they’re going through. No matter what, they’re still a friend. Julian comes in, and she says, well? Did he give Linc the message? He says he was interrupted by Valentin, and she asks what Valentin was doing there. He says he doesn’t care. The point is, he had to walk away before Linc tore up the contract. She says, but he will, right? Julian says he’s gone as far as can go on own She says, if he walks away now, she’ll tell Lucas everything. How he knew about the baby switch, and caused the accident that almost killed his own son. Julian says she’s bluffing, and Brook says, try her.
Julian says Brook should stick to her singing career; he’s calling her bluff. She says she’ll tell Lucas everything, and he says she overheard him talking to Brad months ago, and thinks she heard him threaten Brad. She says he used the word eliminate, and he says he doesn’t know how many times he’s had an intense conversation with Brad. Brad has a talent of upsetting everyone he knows. She says, Lucas might have died in the accident, and he says, tell Lucas her fantasy. Maybe Lucas will believe her; then what? He’s lost his husband and son. Is she going to risk him losing any link to his father because he’ll be better off? She says, what about Sonny? He’ll take her at her word. He says she’s absolutely right, and Sonny will have him killed because her blackmail failed. Is she going to tell Lucas the reason his father is dead. Does she think her career is worth his death? She doesn’t say anything, and he says he didn’t think so. She pretends nothing gets to her, but he doesn’t think she wants his blood on her hands.
Valentin says if Linc is telling him it’s beyond his capabilities, then give back the money. Linc says he doesn’t want to blow the deal, but he wants to make it back to L.A. with his life and career intact. He’s not getting his hands dirty for Brook. Valentin says, Brook is ready to make a deal, and Linc is going to collect.
Michael thanks Diane for coming. She says his message was cryptic; what’s up? She knows Brad and Nelle swapped babies, and his survived, while Willow’s baby died. She’s incredibly happy for him. He says he’s still reeling, in a good way, of course (🍷). She asks what she can do for him, and he says he needs advice on changing Wiley’s name. She says, first or last? and he says, Wiley’s first name is what he knows, but he was never a Cooper or a Jones. He doesn’t know whether to give him Quartermaine or Corinthos. She says, they’re both notorious for different reasons, and he says he needs an objective opinion. What does she think is better for his son? She says, there’s no denying who Wiley is, or who he’s related to. Why not embrace and use both? He says, so Wiley Quartermaine-Corinthos? and she says, it’s a name to be reckoned with.
Anna says she and Finn are at an impasse. He thinks Peter is guilty, and she doesn’t believe he is. She asks if it’s a wall or an obstacle they can find their way around? Peter is a grown person, and has his own life. Is what he did or didn’t do worth sacrificing their future? He wishes it were that simple. He’d love pick up where they left off, plan a wedding, and have their happily ever after. She says, then let’s do that. Violet can be a flower girl, and carry a basket of violets. He says, if it was just them… He has Violet to look out for, and can’t take the same risk on Peter that she can. Violet comes back, and tells them the instructor said she was a natural. Finn says, of course (🍷) she is, and Violet asks if they can go back to Anna’s house now.
Obrecht says, whatever Peter did, whatever Faison led him to do, she understands. If he ever feels the need to unburden himself, don’t trouble Maxie. She’ll always be there to listen. He says she’s too kind. Maxie comes back to the table, and asks what Nina would do without her. She already did all the things Nina told her to do. Not to brag, but Nina needs to appreciate her more. She looks at them, and asks what she missed.
Finn fumbles with Violet’s jacket, and Anna says, step away from the zipper. She tells Violet, daddies are all thumbs when it comes to zippers. There’s so much they don’t know. Finn says, he’s practicing, and she says she gets it. He tells Violet, they’re going to be late for Brianna’s, and Anna asks her what they’re going to do with him. Violet doesn’t know, and Finn tells her, say goodbye to Anna, and let’s get going. Violet says she misses Anna, and asks if they can do this again. Anna says she’ll have to ask her daddy, and Finn says, we’ll see. He leaves with Violet, and looks back at Anna while they’re walking.
Obrecht tells Maxie, she just missed the most fascinating conversation. Who would have thought her time away would have brought her closer to Peter? Peter says, closer than she knows, and Maxie is glad they’re getting along so well. Peter says he is too.
Diane gets ready to leave, and Michael thanks her again. He asks how soon she can arrange the name change, and she says he might want to hold off on that officially. Wiley’s mother might have other ideas. He says, besides being involved in the baby switch, she attacked Willow. She’ll be back in prison. Diane says, that’s for a judge to decide. Until then, Nelle is very much a factor in Wiley’s life.
Brook meets Linc, who tells her that she needs to find new friends. The one he met belongs in a cage. She suggests they get it over with, and asks if he’s tearing up her contract or not. He says, for what it’s worth, he believes she has what it takes, and he’s sorry he won’t be the one to make it happen. She can forget the three record, five year deal. She has her freedom now. She says she’s not sleeping with him, and he says she doesn’t have to. She asks, what’s the catch; what does he want? He takes out a folder, and pushes it toward her. She looks at it, and he says, her shares in ELQ.
Tomorrow, Olivia asks if Brook got an actual offer; Jordan says she’s turning herself in; and Sonny tells Jason and Curtis that Cyrus is a threat, and they have to find a solution.
The Haves and The Have Nots
Benny says, a million dollars? and Candace says, it’s okay, The officer says she’ll be back with the receipt, and Benny asks for $100K in cash. The officer leaves, and Benny says, this is real. Girl, I love you. Candace says, he’d better, and he says, eight dollars; that’s cold. That’s what he’s talking about. She wonders what they’re going to tell Hanna, but he doesn’t care. He’s got a million dollars. He tells her, don’t worry about Jim, and asks what she wants to do. She doesn’t know, and he says, get out of there? She says, for sure. New York, L.A.. He says, that’s it, huh? Don’t look back. She says she won’t, adding, this is all too much. He says he’s getting back to work. He’s getting a truck, and buying a place. He says he’s going to get momma, but Candace says, she won’t move. Benny says, it don’t matter; she will. He thanks Candace, and she says she loves him. He says he loves her too.
Still in the hospital, Jim asks if David has come up with a plan. David says Jim doesn’t want to know what it is. Jim says he won’t tell, and David says he told George that Veronica shot Jennifer, but he didn’t buy it. Jim asks what George said, and David tells him that George thought he was being set up. That’s all he needs; that little weasel breathing down his neck. He can’t go after Veronica now. Jim says, an untraceable accident, and David says, like a plane crash? Jim says he doesn’t want to know. He asks if David talked to AG Kyle, and David says, once. Jim says, he hasn’t called again? and David says, no. Jim says, one bitch at a time. He hands David the papers he was served, and asks David to do him a favor and shred them. He can’t believe his own damn son shot him. David asks if he wants to see Wyatt, and Jim says he does. He is Wyatt’s father. David says, maybe he needs a new one. Jim wants to get out of the hospital. He’s been there long enough. He says he’s going crazy, and asks David, please, get the doctor. David says he’ll talk to Dr. Danny, and Jim says, use two shredders. David leaves, and Jim says, where’s my damn pants?
Veronica’s doorbell rings. It’s George, and she asks what the hell he wants. He wants to talk to her, and she asks if he brought chicken. He says, sorry, but she lets him come in. He says her home is always lovely, and she says, she’s a queen. Queens have lovely homes. What can she do for him? He says he’s letting her know, he spoke with David. David wanted immunity to testify against her for Jennifer’s murder. She says, is that right? He already has the perpetrator of that crime, doesn’t he? She asks if he’s not sure, and he says he’s not. She says he’s wasting his time; she had nothing to do with it. He asks if she was there. Veronica says, so David wants immunity. He asks again, was she there? She says David is playing him. He can blame anything he wants on her. George says that’s what he thought, but then he started thinking, there was so much bad blood between them. he might take David up on it. She tells him, do what he must. Can he leave now? He goes, and she calls David.
David asks why she’s calling, and she says she spoke with George. David says she went after his son, and she tells him, remember, she has evidence about the murder. He says, they both do, and she says, by the way, that girl is not his son. He should get a DNA test and see. He’s been played. Jeffrey might be Jim’s. He calls her a pathetic whore, and she says, thank you; she tries. He says he’s coming for her, and doesn’t need George to do it. She says he does; he’s a weak ass bitch. He doesn’t even know how to kill a bitch. He says she’s a murderer, and she says, bing, bang, boom, Erica. He says they’re coming for her, and she hangs up. She makes another call, and says, send over the candidates today. She knows she’s been putting it off, but she’s ready now. Send a lot over today.
Marty asks if Kathryn is sure she wants to do this. Kathryn says she does, and Marty give her a pen, telling her where to sign. He shows Hanna where to sign, and notarizes it. He tells Hanna, now she has power of attorney. Kathryn asks if she and Hanna can have a minute, but before he goes, how is bail coming? He says, it’s coming, and she asks if she called the judges she told him to. He says, no one wants to touch it. He’s sorry. She says, after all she’s done for them, and he says he’s on it. Kathryn tells Hanna, she can’t believe no one is calling back. Hanna says, that’s the way things happen for a lot of people. They have a saying; nobody loves you when you’re down and out. Kathryn says, it’s just sad. She’s glad she knows Hanna, and says her life is in Hanna’s hands. Wyatt is just hoping they don’t press charges, but it’s not going to work. Hanna says, it’s so sad, and Kathryn says she can’t think about it right now. Hanna says, maybe Wyatt will be sent to a prison where he can get help. Kathryn says, Wyatt tried to kill them. Hanna has too much of a soft spot for her son. Hanna says nobody is saying let him get away with it, but send him to a place where they could hold him and help him. Kathryn asks Hanna to go by the house, and check on things. Make sure the blood is cleaned up. She doesn’t want to see it when she gets home. Hanna says she’ll make sure. Kathryn says, she’s coming home; trust her. Can Hanna do it today, and make sure the plants are watered? Her accountant will come by and explain everything, but don’t let him do anything without seeing her first. She thanks Hanna, and Hanna says Kathryn knows she loves her. Kathryn says she does, and the guard says he has to take her back. Kathryn tells Hanna, to the presidential suite. Hanna says she’ll see Kathryn later, and Kathryn says, yes, she will.
Benny’s kidnapper comes into Jim’s room, and Jim asks what the hell he’s doing there. The thug says, he’s gone. The Malones came in and got him. Jim calls him a first class idiot, and says, go get him. The thug says he can’t. They told him not to, and he doesn’t even know why he was there in the first place. Jim tells him, get the hell out. The thug leaves, and Jim makes a call. He asks if he got a wire, and the bank officer says, yes, but it’s not what Jim thinks. It’s only for eight dollars. Jim says, that bitch. The officer asks what he should do, when Candace walks in, and says, hi.
Jim says he was just about to call her. She didn’t give him his money. She says, no; she did. He says, eight dollars. Care to tell him why? She says she was going to return all of it, but then Jim thought it was a good idea to kidnap her brother. He’s gone now, so that’s it. He says, give him his money, and she says, nope. He says she has no idea what he’s planning to do to her mother and brother if he doesn’t get it. She doesn’t think he’ll do anything, and he says, care to make a bet? She says, $7 million dollars. She just realized that she has a good, solid group of friends in the White House. He says, her name is mud in Washington, but she says she’s talking about the Malones. They’re loyal when you do them a favor. He says he’s done favors for them himself. She says, he also pissed them off, and he says, so will she. It’s only a matter of time. Until then, live it up. That’s his son’s inheritance, and he’ll chase her to the ends of the earth. She says, happy hunting, and he says he knows where her mother and brother are, and he’s going to get her. She says, okay. Her friend has something to say. Jim says, alert the media; she has a friend. Mitch comes in.
Mitch asks how Jim is doing. Jim says he’s been better; have a seat. Mitch sits on the bed, and asks if Jim remembers him. Jim says he does, and Mitch says they need talk about the money. Candace is special to them. Jim says, special to the Malones? and Mitch says, yes. Jim says he happens to know the Malones don’t like Black people. Mitch laughs, and Jim says he thinks that’s funny? Mitch says they like her. She did deliver War to them. Jim says she did that for herself, and Mitch says, it doesn’t matter. His grandma owes her a favor, and Jim knows how Grandma Rose is about favors. Jim says he does, but Candace owes him $8 million, and he’s going to get it back. Mitch says, he understands, but they’re not happy about how Jim harassed her mother and brother. Let this one go. Jim says he can’t; he’s going to get his $8 million back. Mitch says then he’s going to have to talk to his grandma and explain. Jim doesn’t think Mitch understands, and Mitch says, if he doesn’t let it go, he’s going to his grandma, and saying he got caught in the crossfire during Benny’s kidnapping. Jim says they both know that’s not true, but Mitch says, she won’t know. Forget about the money. Mitch doesn’t care how Jim handles it, but he has to let it go. Jim doesn’t know if he can, and Mitch says, a shotgun blast is just a warm up. Jim’s not going to win this one. Jim says Mitch wants him to let $8 million go for Candance because she did a favor? Mitch says she’s got the family behind her, and Jim knows what that brings. It’s his decision. This is just a warning. Jim appreciates him coming, and they shake hands. Mitch says, get better. When he’s gone, Jim says, son of a bitch. I’m laughing. That was fun to watch.
AG Kyle walks into his office to find Connelly sitting in his chair. He asks what he can do for Connelly, and Connelly says he just wanted to come by to look at his new office. He’s been asked to take the appointment. Kyle says he thought it would be Connelly, and Connelly says, confirmation is good. Kyle asks if he can get Connelly a drink, but Connelly says he never touches the stuff. Kyle says, good for him, and Connelly says he doesn’t seem convinced. Kyle says Connelly knows how this town is with rumors, and the rumor is, Connelly drinks a lot. Connelly says, you have to in this town, but no. He remarks that Kyle’s office is smaller and darker than he thought. He might paint. He wonders what Kyle is going to do now that he’s out of a job. Kyle says he has a few more months, but Connelly says, the day is coming. Kyle says, it is, for all of them. Connelly says, some sooner than others. Kyle asks if Connelly would like to see the cafeteria, but Connelly says he doesn’t want anything. He came to tell Kyle that he never liked him. Kyle is a slimy SOB. Kyle says, tell him how he really feels, and Connelly says he knows what Kyle did to his guy, and they don’t have short memories. Kyle asks if that’s a threat, and Connelly says to him, and his whole party. Kyle says he thinks they’re done, and Connelly says, they’re nowhere near done, but he’ll go. Before he does, one name for Kyle – Candace Young. Kyle says, that whore from Savannah, and Connelly says, that’s the one. Kyle asks why he cares, and Connelly says when Kyle tried to take his guy down, it was a personal vendetta. Kyle says, that was horseplay, and Connelly says he caused a lot of grief. Kyle says, tell Charles,it was politics; get used to it. Connelly tells Kyle, keep that arrogance. He hopes Kyle dotted every i, and crossed every t during his tenure. Kyle says he did, and Connelly says, then he won’t mind an open investigation into the entire justice department. Kyle says, go right ahead, and Connelly laughs, saying, no one wants that. Kyle knows if they look hard enough, they’ll find something. Kyle says, thanks for the warning. He’ll make sure his tracks are covered. Connelly says, that’s exactly what he wants Kyle to do. By the way, he farted in Kyle’s chair. HAHAHAHA!
Veronica looks at a candidate for maid, and says, all wrong. The agent says Veronica didn’t talk to her, and Veronica says she doesn’t have to. Exit through the garage. Next. The next woman walks up, and Veronica says, she looks like she steals. Exit. Keep them coming. The next woman holds out her hand, saying she’s loyal, and can clean all day and night. Veronica says, she’s wrong. Follow the others to the garage. She asks the agent if the only candidates are white women. She wants a Black woman who doesn’t eat fried chicken. No greasy maids. The agent says, that’s racist, and Veronica says, she’s Black; she can say it. She wants a Black woman who’s in shape, has class and style, and favors her. The next woman is Black, but Veronica says, not someone who looks like her mother. The woman says, Laura is running late; she’s coming from another job, but Veronica can’t discriminate against color. Veronica asks if white is a color. She’s a lawyer, and the first two barely got through the door, the others look like they’d steal, and the other two looked greasy. The last one looked like her mom, and was not what she asked for. Do her job. Laura comes in, and Veronica says Laura is her size. The agent thinks smaller, and Veronica asks what she’s saying. The agent says, nothing, and Veronica says, she’s hired. She drains her drink, and says she’ll take Laura upstairs, calling her Linda. Laura corrects her, and Veronica says, like she said, Linda. They go upstairs.
Justin pulls up to David’s house, and tells the guard he’s there to see Jeffrey. He’s a friend of his. The guard says he needs to talk to Jeffrey first. Can he tell Jeffrey what it’s about. Justin says he just needs to talk; he’s leaving town. He gives the guard his name, and the guard tells him, wait there. The guard tells Jeffrey that Justin is there, and Jeffrey says, tell Justin he’s not there. Wait. Let him in. The guard tells Justin, come on.
Justin tells Jeffrey that he looks great, and asks if he’s ever coming home. Jeffrey asks what he wants, and Justin says he’s leaving. He can’t take this anymore, so he’s done. Jeffrey says, okay, and Justin says that’s all Jeffrey has to say after what they’ve been through? Jeffrey says he’s sorry, and Justin says Jeffrey’s mom won’t let him be who he is, and won’t make them stop. Is Jeffrey in this with her? Jeffrey says, no, and Justin says, then make her stop. Jeffrey says, nothing can make her stop. Justin says Jeffrey is just going to let him go? and Jeffrey says he can’t stop Justin. Justin says, it’s because he’s seeing Madison, but Jeffrey says he’s not seeing anyone. Justin asks why Jeffrey is dressed up. Where is he going? Jeffrey says Justin said he was leaving, so he should do that. Justin says, wow. So cold. Jeffrey says, it’s a cold world. Buzz off. Justin says Jeffrey did this to him, but Jeffrey says Justin did it to himself. Justin says he begged for Jeffrey’s help. He’s sorry. Jeffrey says, goodbye. Justin says, goodbye, and leaves. Jeffrey wonders what the hell he’s up to.
Veronica tells Laura to dust all day; she likes it spotless. Laura has a pile of clothes in her arms, and Veronica says they’re going to charity. Laura says, some still have the tags on them, and Veronica says she didn’t get to wear them before the season was over. Does Laura like them? Laura asks if she’s serious, and Veronica says she can have them, on one condition. She has to wear them to work. (What is this? The Gap?) Laura says she can’t work in them, and Veronica says she can change when she gets there. She’s a giving person, and wants Laura to know what it feels like to walk in her shoes. Speaking of shoes, What size is Laura? Laura says, six, but tells Veronica her shoes are a little big. Veronica says, they’re not, and asks if Laura has a car. Laura doesn’t, and Veronica asks if she can drive. Laura says, yes, and Veronica says sometimes she’ll want Laura to take her car to the carwash. Let her show Laura around. This is gonna be fun. Not too obvious.
At county, Wyatt calls to Kathryn, who says she’s not in the mood. He says he thinks he wants to die. After all he’s done to her and his dad, he thinks they’d want him to die. Kathryn says she’s heard all this before, and he says she doesn’t think he’d do it. She says he’s in jail, and safe from himself. Just leave her alone. Wyatt asks if she wants to see how easy it is to kill yourself in there. He takes out a toothbrush, and says, you can easily get a shank like this. There’s a razor inside; he can slit his wrists. She tells him, don’t do anything stupid, and he says, it’s not stupid. It’s a way out. Doesn’t she think she and his dad would be happy. She says she’s not playing around, and he says, neither is he. He sets his wrist on one of the bars, and takes the razor blade out. Kathryn calls for a guard, but Wyatt says he timed it so it’s the guard’s shift change. Tell his dad that he’s sorry. She says, please, and he cuts into his wrist. She calls again for the guard, and asks, what has he done?
Next time- the mid-season finale – Hanna says she’ll have Candace and Benny arrested, Jim plans an accident, the AG says the favor Jim did doesn’t pay this kind of debt, and Wyatt collapses.
Vanderpump Rules
It’s Stassi’s birthday, and she says she didn’t want sh*t to happen. She wants all or nothing, and with so much going on – her sister’s wedding, and Brittany and Jax’s wedding – this time, she wanted nothing. She and Beau meet Schwartz and Katie at a coffee shop. Katie tells her, happy birthday, and Stassi shushes her. Katie says, next year, and Stassi says she’s going to have so much built up birthday sh*t, it’s going to be like nothing they’ve ever seen. In Stassi’s interview, she says, this year, she’s a newly hatched baby dragon. Next year, she’s going to be in fully grown dragon mode, full of fire and anger, that didn’t die. We flash back to her previous birthdays. Schwartz asks if she’s ever revisiting the joint birthday, and we flash back to her Ice Queen party with Ariana. She tells Schwartz that she wasn’t really friends with some of the guests, and doesn’t want to make small talk. She says Jax and Brittany are going to Ariana’s birthday party, and she’s surprised. Schwartz wants to try and mend this. He wants to support Jax, but feels like Jax will regret it in the future if Tom isn’t there. In Schwartz’s interview, he says Tom is Jax’s best friend, but he doesn’t know if it will be the same after this. Stassi says, Ariana might not go to the wedding, Jax’s mom isn’t invited, and Lisa can’t make it. Stassi tells Schwartz to suggest Jax invite Tom back. In Stassi’s interview, she says she knows Jax and Brittany will ultimately want Tom there. If they don’t invite him, they’ll look back at it, and be sad. The waitress brings a cupcake with a candle in it, and Happy Birthday is sung. Beau blows out the candle, and unwraps the cupcake. I assume he eats it too, but we don’t see that.
Lisa’s business partner Nathalie comes by Villa Rosa with flowers. Puffy! She and Lisa hug, and Nathalie says she’s very sorry. She remembers Lisa’s mom as being flamboyant, smart, and gorgeous. In Lisa’s interview, she says her mother was in Mensa and could solve a Rubik’s Cube. She remembers going water skiing with her mom, and playing tennis. She says, there’s a progression with a parent, and maybe we get mentally prepared during that time, but her mother died suddenly from deep vein thrombosis – it came out of nowhere. Nathalie gives Lisa a photo of her mom in a frame. Lisa gets weepy, and Nathalie says she didn’t mean to make her cry. Lisa looks at a picture of herself with her mother, and says she looks so young. She tells Nathalie, life is difficult sometimes, and she doesn’t want to miss the good stuff. She can’t dictate when the funeral is, and told Jax and Brittany that she can’t be there. She tells Nathalie to have a chocolate, and Nathalie says, only if she can have the pink one. Lisa says Nathalie knows that’s hers.
Danica asks Raquel and Dayna to help fold napkins, since Peter didn’t make anyone do it last night. Raquel tells them that she went out with some of the girls last night, and drank way too much. We see her dancing around in someone’s InstaStory. She says she blacked out, but Scheana made sure she got home. She left her phone in the kitchen, and passed out. When she woke up, she had a million texts from James. Whore. Slut. Dayna says Raquel deserves better. In Dayna’s interview, she says she doesn’t care who you are, or if you’re drunk, or shooting heroin into your eyeballs. No one talks that way to someone they say they love. She says she’d tell him to suck an effing egg. In Raquel’s interview, she says she didn’t even look at all the texts. She didn’t want to see everything. A producer asks if she’ll read through them, and she reads. F*** you. I’m breaking up with you. Whore. Slut. Whore. F*** you. She says, it makes her literally want to throw up. Dayna says Raquel is so much better than that.
It’s Ariana’s birthday, and Tom asks if she wants a glass of wine, as she gets ready for the party. He brings her wine in a glass so big, it’s only slightly smaller than Amy Schumer’s joke glass. She says she finally slept, and Tom says he woke up before her, and let her sleep. In Tom’s interview, he says, Ariana has always dealt with depression. He’ll do anything he can to be there for her. He tells her that he figured he’d let her save up her birthday energy. She says she’s not woohoo about it, but she needed some reset sleeping. In her interview, she says, the last thing she wants to do is go to a party when she’s depressed. Life is made up of highs and lows, and she needs to learn to surf the lows better, and not drown in that ocean. She asks Tom if Jax texted back, and he says, no. She says, Brittany is coming, so she assumes Jax is coming with her. Tom says he didn’t think he’d change Jax’s mind. We flash back to Tom reading Ariana the text he sent Jax. He asks if Ariana has thought about what she wants to do about the wedding, but Ariana says she doesn’t know. She has to tell Brittany tonight. In Ariana’s interview, she says she doesn’t want to abandon Brittany, but Tom is her guy. It’s the hardest decision she’s made maybe ever. She tells Tom, there’s a lot based on this decision, and she doesn’t want to make one.
There’s a marquee outside the venue that says, Happy Birthday, Ariana, and it gets crowded quickly. Charli tells Dayna about her date with Brett. He said he wanted to get to know her, and then talked about himself and his ex-girlfriend. We flash back to that, and her saying she doesn’t sit through podcasts this long. She tells Dayna, they broke up two years ago. In Max’s interview, he says, the date sucked. It was like dealing with a child. She’s got to fix her sh*t. Lala says, Ariana is still not there. She is planning on coming, right? Last night, she told Ariana that she wanted her to be honest, and Ariana said she wanted to drive off a cliff. She’s going to be miserable in Kentucky without Tom. Brittany says it breaks her heart. Katie asks if Tom still isn’t welcome, and Brittany says, he apologized, but Jax is headstrong. She thinks if Tom isn’t there, Jax is going to regret it. She can’t stop thinking about it. Tom and Ariana arrive.
In Jax’s interview, he says, after twenty years of friendship, a text is like a slap in the face.All Tom had to do is say he was sorry. He doesn’t want to be walked on. In Stassi’s interview, she says, Jax and Tom have done worse sh*t to each other than this. We flash back to a few times they’ve gotten into fistfights. She’s pretty sure they can get past this. Stassi thinks if Jax doesn’t invite Tom, the friendship is done. Katie says she can’t believe Jax would give Tom a third chance at being best man, but Brittany says, he can just invite Tom. Stassi says they need to talk it out. In Brittany’s interview, she says, the situation has caused her so much anxiety. She hates it. Brittany asks to talk to Tom, and says she’s going to explode over this situation with Jax. She’s not going to hate Tom forever because of one argument. Tom says, when he left, he assumed the friendship was done. He was dead inside. He’s angry about it, and sad about it. He didn’t know what do or say. She says Jax was just looking for an I’m sorry, and Tom says he felt like Jax just wanted him gone.
Jax joins them, and says he thought the two people he wouldn’t have to worry about were his best men. Tom admits that he could have handled himself better. He didn’t want it to be like that. He apologizes. Jax says, it’s water under the bridge. Of course he wants Tom at his wedding. Tom says, whatever Jax wants. He can come as a guest. Jax says he still wants Tom to be best man, and they hug. Ariana hugs Brittany. In Tom’s interview, he says, I’m back. In Schwartz’s interview, he says he feels like he can breathe again. He’s been watching tutorials on how to tie a bow tie all week. In Jax’s interview, he says he’s not over it, but it was easier to give in. One less problem. Jax says, let’s have a good wedding. No more hiccups.
Katie tells Kristen, she’s getting the sympathy of going through a breakup, but she’s not actually going through one. She can’t watch Kristen drink the poison called Carter. If she wants to do that, Katie can’t help her. She asks if Carter is coming to the wedding, and Kristen says, of course. Katie tells her to stop saying they broke up. Katie says, no one gives a f*** if Carter is there. He’s only been invited because Kristen wants him there. Kristen says Katie is being super hurtful, and Katie says Carter hasn’t even been around them lately.
James tells Raquel, they probably won’t stay, but she says they were invited to a party. He should be happy they were, and be there for a second. She’s glad he’s not drinking tonight. They have to talk about the other night. The way he texted was completely inappropriate. He says, if she’d answered, he wouldn’t have gotten so triggered. Oh, okay. I guess it’s her responsibility to cover him in bubblewrap. In his interview, James says, when she doesn’t answer, he thinks she’s doing what he used to do. A girl like Raquel doesn’t get left alone at parties.
Ariana says she has to get Stassi a present, but Stassi says, no present. They sing HappyBirthday, but I don’t see a cake anywhere. Maybe Beau ate it. Ariana’s brother Jeremy is there though. Ariana says she knows they like it when she’s drunk. Yay for her being born.
It’s the next day, and Jax asks Brittany if she wants to call Lance. She says he’s in Hawaii, but they don’t have much time. He sent a transcript of the ceremony. Jax says he doesn’t want Lance talking more than four minutes. Brittany says everything in it is beautiful, and Jax asks if she thinks they can ask him to sing No Strings Attached. Brittany laughs, and says she’s so excited. Jax says, focus, and she calls Lance. Lance asks, what’s going on? and Jax says they’re planning a wedding, and thanks him for officiating. In Brittany’s interview, she says tomorrow, they’re going to Kentucky. It’s wedding week. No turning back. Jax says he wants Lance to wear a multicolored robe. Lance says, like inJesus Christ Superstar? and I say, no, it’s Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. The answer is right in the name of the show. I’m hoping Lance was just drinking heavily, and mixed up his musicals. He tells Jax that he’s honored, and Jax says they want Lance to enjoy himself. Afterwards, Jax tells Brittany, he thinks he sounded stupid. Well, he didn’t correct Lance.
Ariana and Raquel go out behind SUR to talk. Raquel asks if Ariana is tired after her birthday extravaganza, and Ariana says she has to pack for Kentucky. She barely saw Raquel at the party. She saw Raquel talking to James. She says she heard about the texts, and Raquel says if she hadn’t gotten drunk and kept James updated, he wouldn’t have been drinking. Ariana says, it’s not her fault; it’s on him. She asks to see the texts, and Raquel says she’s not proud of any of them. She shows Ariana the phone, and says, it goes on a while. Ariana reads; I hate you, we’re breaking up, I’ll never marry you. Ariana tells Raquel it’s only a matter of time before words like that become what Raquel thinks of herself. Ariana has been there before. In her interview, Ariana says she was in a verbally abusive, controlling relationship. She didn’t do what she should have; end it as soon as it happened. She tells Raquel, she doesn’t want to see her sacrifice her own self-worth to help James, when he’s not helping himself. In Raquel’s interview, she says, no girl thinks she’ll be verbally abused going into a relationship. She doesn’t want to go through that again. It was scary to her. She tells Ariana, it’s the last straw.
Brett asks Scheana how her trip was. In Scheana’s interview, she says she loves Ariana, but had already booked a job on the east coast singing Good As Gold. Charli showed up dressed as her, so she was there anyway. Brett says it’s too bad Scheana wasn’t there. He didn’t want her to feel the way she did about his lunch date with Charli. Scheana says she just doesn’t want him to get hurt, and he says it’s not serious. She says she’s not giving him advice anymore. Speak of the devil… Charli joins them, and Brett jokes that they’re wearing the same outfit. Charli says she wanted to talk to both of them. Scheana told Brett that she was untrustworthy. Scheana say she doesn’t use that word, but she doesn’t trust any new people. Charli says it seemed weird, and she had the feeling Scheana liked Brett, but she’d said she wouldn’t let it get between a friendship. Scheana says she doesn’t like Brett like that. Charli says Brett told her that Scheana was questioning her intentions, and it’s a turn-off for someone to bring up their girlfriend of two years ago. Brett says, it clearly wasn’t a date, and wonders if he was supposed to make the whole conversation about her. He says he was being honest, and now he’s being scolded for it. This is why he can’t have girls as friends; they take sh*t to the next level. In Brett’s interview, he says he’s got a Charli and Scheana smoothie, and it’s a disgusting drink. Charli says she has to get back to work. She loves them both – don’t hate her. Brett says she has to have the last word, and make him look like an idiot. Charli tells him to write about it in his diary. In Scheana’s interview, she says she didn’t poison the well. She doesn’t want Charli and Brett to be together, but she didn’t do it on purpose. Her bad.
Lexington, Kentucky. In Brittany’s interview, she says she’s always known she wanted to get married in the Kentucky Chapel, surrounded by family and friends. It’s her dream venue. Two days until the wedding. At the castle where everyone is staying, Brittany says, it’s her kingdom, and she’s so excited. It’s perfect. She says, people are there, and tells everyone, welcome. Stassi says, it’s a mixture of Game of Thrones and Downton Abbey. Brittany shows them to their rooms. One of their dogs has a poopie issue, and in her interview, Stassi says, even though the room smells like dog sh*t, it’s the most romantic place she’s ever been. Brittany hugs everyone, and tells them that she loves them. Schwartz says, a bathroom with chairs; amazing. Scheana asks Kristen if Carter is coming, and in her interview, Kristen says Carter isn’t staying in the castle with the rest of the wedding party. It’s at their request, but he’s also not her boyfriend. She and Scheana have a drink while they get dressed. Brittany says, it’s two and a half hours until the rehearsal. The girls have gotten gift bags, and put on their robes and sleep masks. Lala gets dressed, and Stassi says she can’t wear that; it’s white. In Lala’s interview, she says she didn’t realize they couldn’t wear white during any of the wedding functions. She wouldn’t be mad if someone wore white to the rehearsal dinner for her wedding. She goes to change anyway.
Schwartz says he doesn’t really want do anything. Before they left, he went to check on their lizard, Daug, but he’d passed away during the night. He buried Daug in the backyard. Daug, gone too soon. Jax and Brittany go out on their bedroom balcony, and Brittany yells, I’m getting married! Jax says, him too
Meanwhile, at TomTom, Lisa stops in, and asks Max for a cup of tea. She says she’s seen the figures, and it seems to be running smooth. She tells Max that she hasn’t felt up to being around customers, and faking it. He doesn’t blame her, and she says she has to start getting out. Life is punctuated by important moments. It’s significant that Jax and Brittany are getting married. She watched Jax attempt to grow up. In Lisa’s interview, she says Jax has been in her life for so many years. We flash back to after Jax’s father died, and he told Lisa it was a wake-up call. We move to Lisa talking to Jax’s mom Marie. She says, they’ve gone a long way. Max says he’s sure they’ll miss seeing her at the wedding.
Everyone gathers for the rehearsal at the chapel. Planners Mitchel and Christie give everyone orders, and say, those not in the wedding party can stay or go in the shade. They’re doing a dry run. Tom brings out a cooler with at least three different drink choices. In his interview, Tom says he’s good at being a best man. He’s been busting ass. Maybe he should start a business. We see a fake commercial with Tom saying he puts the best in best man. He’ll make sure you don’t sweat. He doesn’t throw shade – he provides it. Schwartz says, at his wedding, Tom took care of his dog and cried real tears at the same time. Scheana says Tom wasn’t her best man, and now she’s divorced. Tom says, see you at the altar. That was pretty funny.
They go through walking down the aisle, and who’s walking together. Mitchel asks if someone will be Randall. Brittany tells her dad, looking out the window, it hit her; it’s real. They look out, and see everyone lined up. Tom puts an umbrella over Jax. There’s a disagreement over who should come first – there are tons of people involved – and in Jax’s interview, he says, Tom isn’t number one. Schwartz is his best friend, and needs to walk out first. He’s paying for this huge day, and wants it the way he wants it. He tells Brittany, it’s the one thing he asked, but she says she didn’t want to upset anyone. In Tom’s interview, he says he’s been Jax’s friend for almost twenty years, and thought he’d be next to him. He fights back tears, and says, to be moved past to Schwartz is expected, but it hurts.
James makes chicken tacos. Raquel is bummed, but James says he’s tired of hearing about it. He’s over it. in James’s interview, he makes fun of the hashtag Jax is using on everything – #JaxGotItRight. Raquel says, no one is posting, Maybe they’re so wasted, they can’t. James tells Raquel, let’s not go there, but she says she’s not pretending it didn’t happen so he feels better. He tells her that he says a lot of things when he’s drunk. She says he gives her a tone, and he says, it’s his personality; he’s from England. If she doesn’t love who he is, goodbye. She says she’s not telling him not to express his emotions, and he says he’s so over this conversation. He walks out of the apartment, and in Raquel’s interview, she says she’s the one person who’s stood by him. She cries, and says she’s given him so many chances, and it hurts. He comes back, and she says he doesn’t like hearing the truth, but they have to talk about it. He says he’s sorry; he knows. She says she’s not blaming herself for his actions, and she’s not going to be embarrassed for him. The way he talks to her when he’s drunk scares her. If they have kids, she doesn’t want to put them in any situation that’s even relatively close. If he can’t get his sh*t together, then they’ll break up. She wants to go to self-help meeting as well; Al-Anon for those who have loved ones in their lives who drink. James says he’ll go to meetings, and stop drinking. In James’s interview, he says they’ve talked about this before, but there’s something about how Raquel is looking at him, and how upset she is, that he knows he needs to get a handle on it, before she walks out the door, and he’s left wondering what happened. She says it scares her, and he says he knows. He tells her not to cry. He’s doing it. He promises. Raquel says she can’t stop him from drinking anymore, and he says he’s sorry.
And did he just call her Bubba?
Next time, Jax gets sh*tfaced the night before the wedding, Beau tells Kristen that Stassi is his world, and a server tells Dayna that she saw Max with another girl.
🌅 Don’t You Dare…
I’m more like touchy in the morning, but I do love Miss Ross.
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
Jordan tells Taggert, let her get straight. He asked Sonny to work with him to get Cyrus. Taggert says, it wasn’t an easy decision, and she says she bets it wasn’t. She tells Curtis that Taggert spent most of his time there working to put Sonny away. Taggert says if they want to take Cyrus down, they might as well team up with the most powerful man in Port Charles.
Sonny tells Jason, Laura means business. If they can’t stop this from getting bigger, she’s going to get involved. Jason says, if she does, it will make her a target – for real this time. He suggests they continue to stop shipments, so Cyrus’s distributers lose faith in him, but Sonny says it will take too much time. Jason says they know people on the inside at Pentenville, and could possibly arrange an accident.
Carly finds a bullet in the stuff that fell out of Dev’s backpack. She calls upstairs to him, but there’s no answer.
Trina tells Cameron, smile nice. Her mom and dad are going to see the pictures. She takes a selfie, and the driver watches in the rearview mirror. Trina says they’d better take more with Josslyn and Dev at the dance. Cameron asks if she’s sure they’re coming, and she says, Josslyn just texted; they’re on their way.
Elizabeth tells Franco that he didn’t have to get her anything. Cameron is at the dance, and Aiden and Jake have a sleepover. Franco says he’s aware they’re alone, and she says that’s all the gift she needs. He says, it won’t take long, and she opens the box. A note tells her that she’ll find a surprise under the fries, and he says, it’s a scavenger hunt. She asks if he’ll give her a hint, but he says he’s not going to make it easy. He loves her, and it might not be what she wants, but it could turn out to be something she needs. She says having him back is all she needs, and they kiss.
The driver says, it looks like there’s traffic; there’s an accident ahead. He asks if Trina and Cameron mind if he takes a shortcut, and Trina says, whatever’s fastest. The driver does something with his phone, and Cameron tells Trina, one more. She says, serious, but not too serious, and they take another selfie. They bicker, as the driver keeps an eye on them.
Alexis sees Molly at the MetroCourt, and says she’s dressed to the nines. Molly says, as opposed to her usual burlap sack, and Alexis asks what the occasion is. Molly says Alexis’s guess is as good as hers. TJ insisted on treating her to a special romantic evening. He’s the best boyfriend.
TJ is at the hospital, messing with his phone, when Neil comes by. Neil asks how it’s going, and TJ says he’s been busy. Neil asks if he’s cracked any more medical mysteries, but TJ says, it was a stroke of luck with Alexis, and he had a lot of people helping before he made the diagnosis. Neil asks if TJ’s luck has continued with Molly. Did he propose? TJ says, not yet, and Neil asks, what’s the hold up?
Trina wonders where they are, and Cameron says the driver is taking the scenic route. Trina thought it would get them there faster, and Cameron hopes so, since they’re going to be late. She teases him about wanting to see Josslyn, and says she can’t believe her dad didn’t show. He’s sure her dad has a good reason, and she says, at least Cameron dodged a grilling. He says when Trina showed up, she looked… She says, flawless? She knows. Cameron tells the driver they seem to be going out of the way, and the driver says he figured they wouldn’t mind alone time. It’s their first date, right?
Elizabeth goes into the kitchen, and asks Franco if she’s getting warmer. He says he’s not telling her, and she remembers there are leftover fries in the refrigerator. She takes the container out, and there’s another box inside. It tells her to look under the chapeau, but she says she doesn’t speak French. He tells her it means hat, and she sees a bowler on top of the paper towels. She finds a box underneath, with a note that tells her to look in the cabinets, where she finds one more box. That note tells her to look under the pillow. Franco tells her it’s technically under the pillow, but it’s really under the sofa. She pulls out a bunch of art supplies, and he says he and the boys were talking. They thought, like him, she’d like to have art in her life again. She thanks him, and he sits on the floor next to her. He says he can’t wait to see her paint. She kisses him, and her phone dings. She looks at her phone and says, Cameron sent the ride share information; it’s all good. Franco asks if she wants to set up her paint set, but she says, after this, and kisses him. She says she loves him, and he says he loves her more.
Jordan says, no way in hell is she working with Sonny, and Taggert asks, why not? She says collaborating with one mobster to stop another is ethically compromising. Taggert says, and they’ve never crossed the line before. Curtis asks if Taggert got Sonny on board, and Taggert says Sonny didn’t refuse; he sees the advantage. Jordan doesn’t get it. Just because they have a common enemy is no reason to partner up. If he wants to do that by himself, go ahead. Taggert says he never brought up Jordan’s name. He respects her position, and she’s made clear she wants nothing do with this. Jordan asks if he pitched a specific plan, and Taggert says she can’t have it both ways. If Sonny chooses work with him, he’s keeping it to himself unless she changes her mind. He gets up, and says his daughter has a big dance, and he’s late to take pictures. Keep in touch. He leaves, and Jordan asks if Curtis heard that. Curtis says he can actually believe Taggert. He’s right. If Sonny is down to help them, she should take him up on it.
Sonny says, it won’t be easy to get to Cyrus in Pentenville. Maybe Taggert has a way. Jason asks if Sonny wants to trust him, and Sonny asks if Jason doesn’t think he should. Jason doesn’t know, but says if Taggert is telling the truth, and he was on the DEA taskforce that took Cyrus down, he saw how Cyrus operates. He knows how much damage Cyrus could do in Port Charles. Maybe his offer is sincere. Sonny says they still have to be careful. Even if they cooperate, Taggert isn’t going to look the other way if they take Cyrus out.
Carly looks for Josslyn, and starts to panic. She remembers Josslyn said she changed her mind about going to the dance. She grabs the phone, and the doorbell rings. It’s Josslyn, Dev, and Brando. Carly asks what’s wrong with Josslyn? She specifically told her not to go to the dance. She said not to leave, but Josslyn did it anyway. Why? Josslyn says, it’s Dev’s last night in Port Charles. Unfortunately, Brando found them leaving. Carly is glad he caught her fugitives. Carly tells Dev, talk to her, but Josslyn says it was her idea to go to the dance. Carly says, it’s not about the dance, and Josslyn asks what the problem is. Carly says, this, and holds up the bullet. She asks, why was there a bullet in Dev’s backpack?
TJ tells Neil that he keeps waiting for the perfect time, and then things get in the way. Neil says, they always will. Does he want some advice? TJ says, by all means, and Neil says, don’t wait for perfection; it doesn’t exist. The truth is, the closest we get to perfection is when we stop trying to make things perfect. The time will come when TJ least expects it. TJ says he doesn’t want to regret anything, and Neil says, if it feels right, go for it. TJ says he was planning on tonight. He shows Neil the ring, and says he’d better go. He doesn’t want to keep Molly waiting. He asks Neil to wish him luck, but Neil says he doesn’t need it. He and Molly have something special; cherish it. TJ thanks him for the advice, and leaves.
Molly tells Alexis that she and TJ are giving their night out another shot. Their first try fell through. TJ had to study and went to the library, and she went through more emails from Jamie. She can’t believe how much time and effort has been wasted on this superfluous drama. Alexis tells her not to let it ruin her idea about a wedding and marriage. Molly says, too late, and Alexis says, it’s about love, and… yeah, she sounds like a greeting card. Molly says, a little, and Alexis tells her, enjoy her night.
Jordan asks if Curtis is siding with Taggert. He says he’s on her side – always. He understands her reservations about Sonny, but desperate times call for desperate measures. She says he just blew up a warehouse, but Curtis says, no one died. No one was hurt.But Cyrus lost a shipment and a lot of money. It’s a great way to send a message. Jordan asks if he approves of Sonny’s methods, and he says he approves of anything that will stop Cyrus. Taggert could have been dead from an OD like the other two, and he’ll be damned if Jordan will be next. She says she can protect herself without getting involved with Sonny, but Curtis asks, what if that’s the only thing that’s going to keep her alive?
Sonny admits the bastard is smart. Cyrus made it public, so it’s difficult to retaliate. Jason says they don’t want the Feds involved. Sonny says, if that happens, they have to make sure the Feds don’t find anything leading to them. He’s worried about Laura. She’s his friend, but she’s the mayor, and under pressure from the media to clean up the waterfront. Jason asks what he wants to do, and Sonny says, they have people in Pentenville watching Cyrus. Have them figure out when he’s alone, so they can get access to him. To be clear, he doesn’t want to take action. Not yet.
Carly says the bullet fell out of Dev’s backpack, but Dev says he doesn’t know how it got there. What would he do with a bullet? Carly asks him to walk her through every step of his day, and he says he woke up, went to school, and came back; that was it. She asks if he left early, and he says he went to all of his classes. She asks if he made a stop, and Josslyn asks why Carly is interrogating him. Carly says because she found a bullet and needs to know how it got there.
Elizabeth tells Franco that she’s missed painting. While she’s creating, time flies. He says, doing the portrait reminded him of how fulfilling it is, and he wants that for her. He asks if she’s going to set everything up, and she says, maybe later. She wants to do something else first. He likes that idea, and she takes his hand. The doorbell rings, and he says, don’t even. It rings again, and he suggests they hide; it’s not their problem. She answers the door, and it’s Taggert. She invites him in, and introduces him to Franco. She says, so he’s Trina’s dad, and he says, small world. They’ve both been busy since they last saw one another. He’s sorry he’s late, and guesses he missed the kids.
Cameron tells the driver, they’re not on a date; they’re going out as friends. Trina says she should have hired backup. Cameron is going to be trying to get Josslyn’s attention all night. Cameron says, make a left, but the driver says he knows a better way.
Alexis sees Neil at the hospital, and tells him, careful. He might turn into stone. She asks what he’s up to, and he says he’s in the running for a staff position there. They’re making their final decision after his review. How about her? She says she goes to meetings there. He thanks her again for agreeing to make a statement, and she says she never turns down a trip to the Big Apple. She’ll see an opera, he’ll keep his medical license; it’s a win-win. He says, except for them for the next two years. She says she was trying to be altruistic.
TJ arrives at the MetroCourt. He gives the hostess the ring, and she takes it in the back. He sees Molly at the bar, and says their table is ready. He asks, what’s wrong? and she says, Chelsea emailed her about lunch tomorrow to discuss her wedding. Her bridesmaid total is four gowns she’ll never wear again. It’s a consumerist joke. He says, there’s more to it than that, and she says, like a whole history of patriarchal subjugation. Fathers used to give dowries along with a woman. He says, it’s not like that anymore, but she says, want to bet?
Jordan goes to Pozzulo’s, and asks Sonny if it’s a bad time. He says he’s got to get home, but she says, it won’t take long, and he says, if she insists. Curtis says he’ll stay out there, and Sonny asks what he can do for her. She says she was hoping to ask about a visit from a former associate of hers. He says he was there earlier, shortly before he was attacked.
Elizabeth shows Taggert the pictures, and he says they look happy. Her son is a fine young man. She says, most of the time, but Trina is amazing all of the time. Taggert says, no argument, and Franco says he’s not clear on how they know each other. Elizabeth says she was friends with Taggert’s sister Gia a long time ago. She asks Taggert how Gia is, and he says she figured out what she wanted to do with her life, and got a law degree. She’s now an immigration lawyer in Texas. She asks what he’s doing there, but his phone rings. He says he needs to make a quick call, and goes into the kitchen. It’s a text with Cameron and Trina’s picture, saying, we have your daughter, and if he doesn’t meet them, she dies.
Cameron says the driver missed another turn. What is he doing? The driver says, driving, and Trina tells him, take them to the school now. He says, there’s been a change in plans.
Molly tells TJ, she knows she should respect their decisions, but she can’t watch them throw their lives away for a stupid fairytale. He says, maybe it’s not a stupid fairytale to them, and they want to get married. She says, since they were girls, they’ve been convinced marriage is the be all and end all, and don’t get her started on the ring industry. Why can’t it just be about love? TJ says, maybe it can, but she says, it’s rooted in the man controlling the narrative. Even the proposal. It’s so unfair. He says he’ll be right back.
Taggert tells Elizabeth that he has to leave. Everything is good, and he appreciates her hospitality. He’ll let himself out. When he’s gone, Franco says, weird, and Elizabeth says, hurry. They head upstairs.
Carly asks if anyone else handled Dev’s backpack. Brando asks if he left it when he used the bathroom. Dev doesn’t think so, and Brando asks if he had it the entire day. Dev says, no. He had to leave it in his locker when he went to gym. Brando says, it was planted, and Carly says, they were hoping she and Sonny would find it and get the message. Josslyn asks, what message? Brando says, obviously there’s someone watching everyone in their family, and they’re all within reach.
Jordan tells Sonny that Taggert said someone was tailing him when he left. He led them to an alley, intending on confronting them, when he was met with a second assailant. Any idea who’s responsible? Sonny says, it wasn’t his guys, if that’s what she’s suggesting. She says she’s not suggesting anything. She knows he and Taggert have a complicated history. Sonny says, it’s over now, and asks if Taggert is okay? She says, he was roughed up, but he survived. Jason asks who she thinks it might be, and she says, who does he think? Cyrus might be locked up, but his reach goes far. He has his eyes on Sonny’s place, and everywhere else he and his family frequent. Sonny says he’ll beef up security, and thanks her. He owes her one. She says she’ll remember that. Sonny leaves, and Jason asks if Jordan has a second. He has something to ask her.
Curtis asks Sonny, how’d it go? and Sonny says, it went. Curtis says he sure hopes Sonny gets a handle on the situation before anyone else gets hurt. Sonny leaves, and Curtis’s phone rings. Taggert says he needs Curtis’s help. Trina has been kidnapped; Cyrus’s man took her. Curtis says, hang on. He’ll get Jordan. Taggert says Curtis can’t tell her.
Trina tries the door, but shakes her head. Cameron says, let them out. They’ll find another ride. The driver just keeps going and Cameron says he’s going to file a formal complaint. The driver makes a sharp swerve, and takes out a gun. Trina says, don’t shoot, and he tells them to hand over their phones. Now. They do, and he starts driving again. Trina takes Cameron’s hand and cries quietly.
Alexis says Neil helped Kristina get out of DoD, and helped her out of a number of messes. And he saved her before Kendra rendered her road kill. He’s very good at saving people, and it’s unfair of her to keep him from saving anyone else. Two years will go by like that. He says he used to bury himself in work. Then he met her, and she made him want to pay attention to the world around him. She says he had his dating app, and he says, the dates were awkward, boring, or both. Until he went out with her.
TJ tells the bartender that he’s looking Candace. She’s supposed to deliver a dessert to his table. The bartender says, he’s the ring guy, and says, there she is. Candace is already putting a small cake on the table in front of Molly. The ring is on top, and Candace says, wow. Lucky lady. TJ tells Molly, he can explain.
Carly checks Josslyn’s backpack, but Josslyn says she had it he entire day. Carly says, all clear; nothing out of order. Dev says he’s sorry. He guesses he should have been more careful. Brando says, it’s not his fault, and Carly says he’s right. There’s nothing he could have done. Josslyn says, it’s insane. They just got over the shooting at the pier, and now there’s a bullet in Dev’s backpack. What next? Sonny walks in, and Carly says, thank God he’s there. They got another message. She gives him the bullet.
Elizabeth looks at her new supplies. Her phone dings, and she sees a message from Cameron. Kidnapped. HELP! She says, oh my God.
Curtis tells Taggert, he’s got to get the police involved, but Taggert says, no police, especially not Jordan. They made it clear, if he shows up with law enforcement, they’ll kill Trina and Cameron. Curtis says, they want Taggert dead, and Taggert says, at least he can trade himself for his daughter. He asks Curtis to help him.
Jason says, when Jordan first came to Port Charles, she was with the DEA, right? She says, yeah; why? He says he was just wondering, which I’m so sure she believes. Jason would never ask a question for no reason. She leaves the office, and asks if Curtis is ready to go. Does he want to grab some food? He says he just got a call from a client, and has to go. He jets, and she calls the station. She tells Martinez that she’s headed back, and to make sure the latest reports on the Corinthos shooting are on her desk.
Jason’s phone rings. It’s Elizabeth, who says she needs his help. Cameron has been kidnapped.
TJ tells Molly, the ring belonged to his mom. He thinks it was from an ethical source, but they can have it appraised and verify that. She says it’s beautiful, and he says he knows she has reservations about marriage, but they can make it work. He promises. He’d never ask her to sacrifice her career, or anything else. He wants them to be equals, and wants to spend the rest of his life with her. He loves her so much, so will she marry him? She sits there, just staring at the ring, and says she’s sorry. She’s overwhelmed. She loves him too, more than she can put into words. He’s very brave to propose after she went off like that, but she doesn’t want to marry him.
Alexis tells Neil, so they won’t mess with success. The one kiss they had was perfection. Neil says, the closest they’ll ever get to perfection, is when they stop trying to make things perfect. (Good for him. He was able to use that gem twice within an hour.) She asks if that’s a Neil original, and he says, as of a half hour ago. He told TJ the same thing. TJ was getting ready to propose to Molly. Alexis says she ran into Molly, who said they were having a special night. Does Neil think TJ is popping the question? Neil says, it seems so, and she says, maybe they’ll have something to celebrate in New York. He says he won’t be celebrating anything if he’s not still practicing. She says she doesn’t want to be late to her meeting. He says, take care, and she says, him too.
Brando tells Sonny, he thinks the bullet was planted while Dev was in gym class. Carly says, that means they got into the school; this has to stop. Josslyn says, maybe it’s a good thing Dev is leaving, but Brando isn’t so sure that’s a good idea. They know what everyone is doing. What’s to stop them from getting into the boarding school? Sonny says Brando has a point. It’s best stay to close where he knows he can protect them. He puts the bullet on the table.
Jason tells Elizabeth, they’ll figure it out. The best thing to do is stay calm. Elizabeth says Cameron was going to a dance with Trina, and sent her a picture of the driver and the license plate number. She sends it to Jason, and says maybe he can use it to find them. Jason looks stunned, and says, he knows this guy.
Taggert goes to the meeting place, and opens the door. The place is empty, and no one is there. He calls out that he’s there. He followed their orders. Where is his daughter? The driver/Cyrus’s guy comes out, and says, take it easy. Taggert says, bring her to him, and the guy says, the way he sees it, Taggert is in no position to make demands. Taggert says, if he doesn’t see his daughter right now, their plan will go up in smoke. The guy calls for Trina and Cameron to be brought in. Two men with guns bring them out, and practically shove Cameron down the stairs.
Curtis lurks outside with a gun.
Tomorrow, TJ asks Molly if she’s saying no, Willow thinks she knows the best thing for Wiley, and Jason tells Elizabeth not to call the cops.
Project Runway
Two designers were going to be ousted tonight, leaving four to go home and prepare collections for New York Fashion Week. The two-day challenge was avant-garde – ahead of the pack – what Brandon described as something that challenges your feelings, and goes beyond the norm. The destination for the runway would be The Vessel in Hudson Yards, a venue where no one had shown before. Geoffrey said it was his favorite building in NYC, and while I think it’s cool, we radically disagree on our style of favorite. Since she was the winner last week, Nancy got first pick of models, and then chose who would go next. It continued that way, until Victoria was the last designer, like being the last one waiting to be chosen for the team. In her interview, she said maybe the others were afraid of her, but I thought it was more that she was unfriendly, self-absorbed, and rude. The contestants were told to show why they deserve a collection for Fashion Week, and Brandon told them, go big or go home. In his interview, Marquis said he’d done a lot of ballroom work, which calls for avant-garde. In Brittany’s interview, she said she was nervous about the challenge, but Sergio was already thinking ahead to female samurai warriors, and how he wanted to show that while women were viewed as weaker, they can still do what men can do.
It was the designers’ final shopping trip to Mood, where Christian begged them not to use satin, or he would cut them. They got a whopping 60 minutes, and $600 to shop. Nancy thought the challenge was going to take everything she had, but Geoffrey said avant-garde was his thing. He was going for ceremonial and regal, and if he didn’t nail it, his client base would be blown. No surprise, he headed for the satin, but Christian intervened, telling Geoffrey how much his satin was hated by the judges the previous week. He decided to use latex, a skill set he hadn’t shown yet. In his interview, he explained he had a latex company, and he still does custom latex. He could make it do stuff no one else could. After buying a ton of horsehair fabric, Nancy puzzled over what she was actually going to make. Geoffrey said Nancy liked to do things on the fly, but he didn’t think that was a good idea for this challenge. Marquis rose to the occasion, deciding to make pants out of chains, but Brittany was freaked out by there being no rules.
In Sergio’s interview, he said he thought he set the bar high for the other designers, and his most difficult competition was himself. Modest too! Nancy FaceTimed with her husband, who she’d met on a golf dating site. She’d been his one and only date, but he hadn’t been hers. Christian interrupted the designers with a surprise, which caused everyone to panic, but he said it was a good surprise. He told the designers to follow him, and took them to a room that housed all the pieces they’d made throughout the season. Seeing everything she’d done, Brittany felt accomplished. In Marquise’s interview, he said his brother had been shot, and it was one of the reasons why he’d moved to NYC. His brother had given him $200, and told him to stay focused and make his dreams happen, because time is limited. He didn’t want Marquise to lose sight of why he was there. Christian said they were to show their unique point-of-view by choosing two past looks. They’d be creating a retrospective that proved who they were as a designer, and also showing what their collection would be like. They would also get a seamstress to tailor the garments to the models. Nancy said it was going to be one magical moment.
Approaching Brittany’s humongous, poufy pink jacket, Christian said he was afraid the judges would think it looked like a pink straightjacket. In Sergio’s interview, he said he wore his confidence like armor, and was voted most likely to succeed in high school. He told us, understanding you can do anything you set your mind to is empowering. Christian introduced the designers to Justine, a stylist from Tresemme (brand placement!), telling them that hair design was a crucial part of the avant-garde look. They’d be collaborating with her on hairstyle. In Nancy’s interview, she said it was all about the details, and she was taking every suggestion. Christian announced the show would be at dawn, and the contestants had to be back at work at 3 am.
Geoffrey pricked his finger, getting blood on his fabric. Since he’d gotten black from an iron on last week’s dress, I wondered if he’d been stain jinxed. He said blood wasn’t avant-garde, and immediately ran for the sink. Sergio suggested licking it, as saliva removes blood (good to know), but luckily it came out with water. Nancy was having trouble believing it wasn’t all a dream, while I pondered why there were geese wandering around outside the design studio.
At the Vessel, afraid of heights, Brandon refused to go one the admittedly scary glass elevator, and opted for the stairs, but freaked out a few flights up, and just stayed there. Rachel Brosnahan (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel) was introduced as guest judge. When the judges were assembled, the models came up in the elevator, and walked down. I doffed my cap to every single one of them, going down those stairs in gigantic confections and high heels, without death-gripping the banister. Elaine said the designers had done a great job curating their collections, as everything was cohesive. Much of it was indescribable, but Elaine said it best when she described Nancy’s dress as a piece of walking art. She said Sergio was pushing the classic modern aesthetic, and always his own biggest fan, he said in his interview, he felt like he always did that more than the others. Victoria said she was trying to take pictures with her eyes of a once in a lifetime moment. The model trios stopped on various landings to display the collections, then came together to form a circle, so everything could be seen together. After that, it was back to the regular runway.
Brittany got kudos for the pink color of her jacket, which she thought represented her, but Karlie said although she was close, Brittany fell short. Brandon liked the coat, which was covered in plastic and fabric butterflies, but Nina thought the plastic took away from the upscale look. Elaine said Nancy’s garment was like looking at a sculptural piece, and Karlie called it wearable art. Nina said she was a fan, but also a truth teller. Because of Nancy’s black/bronze color combo, she felt like it was a black cloud, and said Nancy had missed the opportunity to use color. She thought Marquise’s outfit was over-complicated (although everyone loved the chain pants), and Brandon said that was a common mistake. He said Geoffrey’s piece – a jacket/shorts ensemble with a train – was other-worldly and sexy. Elaine added that usually latex was skin tight, and the fluidity was poetic. Brandon said Geoffrey’s creation matched the location the best, but it was very Land Before Time, whatever that means. Sergio explained how female samurai fought in wars alongside the males, and his design was an avant-garde version of who he is as a designer; it was theatrical. Elaine said the image of his model going up in the elevator was haunting, Nina said both Alexander McQueen and John Galliano had similar designs, and no surprise, Sergio pleaded ignorance, as he’d done before when called out on the backward tux. Victoria was praised for her use of color – champagne – and Karlie said she could tell Victoria’s model felt regal. However, Elaine was a bit taken aback by a huge earring thing going on, and said it overcomplicated the outfit. After the designers went backstage, Victoria said the judges had been tough on them.
Elaine said there wasn’t a single loser. Every designer left was talented. Nina said Geoffrey’s engineering blew her away, and while some designers fall, he’d gained momentum throughout the season. Elaine said, he takes his designs to another planet. Brandon said Victoria had brought out unexpected romanticism, but Elaine said Victoria’s design didn’t knock her dead. Brandon said he was surprised, since she’d been excited by a latex panty. Elaine said Nancy’s design was true avant-garde, and a show piece. Nina was impressed by so much passion. Elaine thought Brittany’s jacket was elegant and cool, and she wanted to buy it. Karlie said the jacket looked avant-garde, but up close was a full-on Monet. Nina said Brittany had the right fabric, but couldn’t carry it to the end. Karlie said Marquise had raw talent, but needed mentorship. Nina thought his silver effort looked like the Tin Man. She said Sergio’s problem was referencing the work of other designers, but Elaine said, considering the time constraints, Sergio was a cut above.
The designers were brought back out for the final critique, and Karlie said they were all deserving, but only four could go through to the finale. Geoffrey was the first one in. Brandon said he showed up and he showed out. Nina told him to think streamlined and sophisticated. Brandon told him, it was okay to be nervous (he is kind of a nervous guy in general), as long as it’s translated into confidence with his fashion. Victoria was the next one in (sigh), and Karlie told her to not just think of one woman while she was designing, but think of all the women who would want to wear her designs. NANCY was next, and the clouds parted to reveal angels singing. Nina said Nancy represented a second shot at living your biggest dream, and I swear, I got tears in my eyes. Elaine told her, no more oversized, ill-fitting garments, and she looked like she was going to cry. Karlie said she wished all of them could be in, but Brittany was out. Brandon said she was a great designer, and her strength was in the way she carried herself. It was a joy to be let into her talent. Brittany said she appreciated being there, and in her interview, said she didn’t think she’d be going home. It wasn’t that she didn’t think the others didn’t deserve it, but she thought she deserved it more. Sergio was in, and Elaine said it pained her to tell Marquise that he was out. He blossomed there, and should be proud. He thanked them, and said it had been a blessing. In his interview, he said, being self-taught, he was at a phenomenal standpoint, being able to show what he could do. He and Brittany commiserated, while Nina told Sergio not to hide behind excuses and other people’s work. She told everyone to go home, and in five months, create a ten-piece collection for Fashion Week (for which they get a $10K budget).
Christian said Marquise had amazing moments, and he’s going to do amazing things, because amazing is Christian’s favorite word. He said he was ready for it all in menswear from Marquise. He told Brittany that she’d also be amazing, and he was proud of them. In Marquise’s interview, he said he was thisclose. It was a bummer, but he was going to continue to grow, move on to harder things, and put his all into designing. In Brittany’s interview, she said she was allowed to come into her own, and was reassured that she’s on the right path, and doing the right thing. She’ll make it to Fashion Week eventually, but it might be a longer road. Christian poured champagne for the finalists.
Next stop, New York Fashion Week. And as Brandon said, let the games begin.
🍸 On Sunday, March 1st, Bravo will be having a Vanderpump Rules Leap Day Marathon. It starts at 10 am if you’re up for it.
👠 So I Was Thinking…
Not that any of my exes would be dating Lady Gaga, but if they were, I’d ask for an introduction. Way to use it to justify overspending though.
What I Watched - TV With Theresa 