What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

At the station, Jordan says the last thing she expected to walk in on was Sonny and Ava yelling at each other. Sonny says he has full custody, and he’s taking Avery home. Ava says one more step, and his whole family will pay.

Valentin finds Nina putting appetizers on the coffee table, and asks what’s happening?She tells him they’re having a dinner party. He says she didn’t tell him, and asks who the guests are, and why is she being so mysterious?

In Switzerland, Spinelli says Henrik was thorough in covering his tracks. Jason tells him to focus on the records. Spinelli can’t find a name, but does have a picture. They gather around, and he says, behold, this is him. The banker agrees that it’s Henrik Faison.

Nina opens the door, and welcomes Peter in.

Robert asks what connection Anna has to Faison’s son. She said she never even knew of his existence until recently. Robert’s not buying it, and says Henrik isn’t just Faison’s son – he’s also hers.

Sonny tells Ava that she has no claim, and she says she’s Avery’s mother. He endangered her life, and Ava isn’t walking out. Sonny asks Jordan for help, but she says there’s nothing she can do. Sonny tells Ava that he’s been generous. She says screw his generosity. His deranged father put Avery at risk. Mike says he’s sorry, and Sonny says it was an accident; there won’t be a repeat. Ava says he’s got that right. He can go, but she wants Mike arrested.

Nelle stops by Sonny’s place, and asks Michael if there’s any news. He says, nothing. She says she hasn’t heard from Ava, either, but couldn’t stay at the gallery. He offers her some dinner.

Jason says he doesn’t recognize Henrik, and Spinelli says there’s no reason he should. It isn’t a real photo. It’s a composite of hundreds of other faces put together. Sam asks if the banker knew, but he had no idea. She asks Spinelli about the banker’s financial records. She thinks they should notify the Sultan or the bank board, or maybe the Russian. Spinelli thinks the Russian is a gangster of some repute. The banker says they have his full cooperation. Sam asks why they should believe him. Jason says has Henrik has a safe deposit box there, and asks Spinelli to see if his father did. Spinelli finds a record of it, and says it was last accessed on February 22^nd – after Faison’s death – by the banker.

Nina tells everyone dinner is in a half hour. Valentin wonders since when is Peter a desirable guest. Nina says since Curtis found out about his past, or lack thereof. She wants to make him forget about Maxie. The doorbell rings. It reminds me of Watch What Happens Live, and I fully expect it to be the Gay Shark. It’s not; it’s Maxie.

Anna accuses Robert of raving. He says that instead of bringing him to justice, she’s making excuses for Henrik. She says he had a painful childhood, and Robert asks why it matters. She says it matters to his mother, and it matters to her.

Jason says the will was read in February, and asks the banker what Henrik wanted from the box. He says, letters: one addressed to Andrew Cain, and the other addressed to Jason Morgan. He asks if the banker opened them, but that’s no. He says that one was a standard envelope, and the other had a flash drive in it; both were sealed when he left. The banker tells them that he’s never seen Henrik in person. He doesn’t know what else is in the box, and Sam says they can find out themselves. The banker will do it for them. She tells Jason to go with him, so he doesn’t get lost.

Anna asks if Robert is happy, and says it’s enough for one day. She tells him to leave, but he wants to hear the rest. She says it won’t change anything, but he says he can better understand; she owes him that much. She tells him that she was young and in training. No one could crack Faison, but she knew his blind spot, and decided to use his obsession against him. She knew what bar he favored, and that he slept with women who posed as her. She disguised herself (as herself? this is the part I don’t get), and watched him. He’d been drinking a lot when she propositioned him; he was so drunk he couldn’t see her for who she was. Robert asks what happened, and she says it worked. She got what she needed that night, but got something she didn’t expect – a child.

Maxie tells Nina that she brought some contracts to sign, and Valentin says he’ll see to their guest. Nina says she’ll deal with it tomorrow, and tries to push Maxie out the door. A woman shows up, and Nina introduces her as Riley, and Maxie says she loved Riley’s Enchantment campaign. She wonders why Riley is there, since she doesn’t get out of bed for less than $10K. Riley says, or a tall, dark, and handsome dinner date.

Ava tells Jordan that Mike put her daughter in danger. Jordan asks Dante for just the facts. He tells her they found Mike and Avery at the stables, and they were gone more than twenty-four hours. She asks if Avery was injured, and Griff says she was fine. Ava says God knows where they were, since they were gone overnight. Dante says Mike isn’t well, and Sonny adds that he has diminished capacity. Ava says all the more reason he shouldn’t be around Avery. It’s child endangerment at best, and kidnapping at worst. Today, it was his own grandchild. Who will it be tomorrow?

Sonny says his dad is a good man. He tells her not to do this; he’s ill. Sonny asks Griff to help, and Griff says he recently diagnosed Mike with dementia. He says Mike loves his family and loves Avery. He didn’t mean for this to happen. Diane wants to confer with her client. Ava gets her phone out, and Griff asks what she’s doing. She tells him that she’s getting Scotty. He asks if she’s sure this is how she wants to handle it, and she says she’s protecting her child. She asks if he’s with her. Diane tells Sonny she’ll get his dad out. Carly says it was an accident; there was no criminal intent. Diane tells her that doesn’t mean a crime wasn’t committed.

Nelle tells Michael that she feels bad eating at a time like this, but he says she has to take care of the baby. He tells her that he has reason to be optimistic.

Peter tells Valentin that if anyone wants to dig into his past, let them; there’s nothing to find. Valentin says that’s the problem. When there isn’t much there, it’s a complete fabrication. Nina brings Riley in, introducing her to Peter as Crimson’s favorite cover model. Maxie says she and Peter have met.

Anna tells Robert ha the baby was innocent. She thought she could have it, and give it up, but she was wrong. She didn’t even know it was a boy. She didn’t want Faison to find out, but she needed to be sure. If she was wrong, all he needed to change was a reason – like a child. Robert says, and people call him optimistic. She told him that she was disillusioned with the Bureau, but she was playing him. She let him make her into a double-agent. She thought she could deliver him to the Bureau, but her plan didn’t work. He was so twisted by then, she couldn’t chance him finding out at that point. She was so far into the DVX; she was trapped, and couldn’t get out. Until he came with an assignment, and she met him. We flash back to Anna and Robert younger than I ever remember them. She says everything changed. He gave her a reason to hope.

The Banker brings in a box. Spinelli says, The Jackal is in full control of the bank and its security system. He tells the banker he’d better continue to cooperate. The banker says to just get what they want and go. They look in the box. Sam takes out some stacks of money, a bag of sapphires, and a folder of papers. Jason finds a picture of Anna, and puts it in his jacket pocket, saying he’ll give it back to her. Sam asks Spinelli if he has any idea what code is, and gives him the folder. Jason takes out a storage box, and says it has a scanner and a keypad. Spinelli tells him, touch that, and we’re dead.

Spinelli explains that It’s a conundrum box, designed to be opened by one specific person. If anyone else tries to open it, it self-destructs. The contents will be vaporized, as well as anyone in the proximity. Jason says nothing is uncrackable, an asks if it’s safe to transport. Spinelli says it’s stable, as long as it’s not opened. Sam says they’ll donate the cash and jewels to charity, and Spinelli concurs. He asks if they’re ready to depart before their comfortable margin to quit the premises is back online. He’s uploaded the banker’s illegal dealings. The banker says this is his death sentence. Sam says as long as he’s available as their private banker and doesn’t cross them, he’s safe. She says it’s been a pleasure, and links arms with Spinelli. The three of them leave.

Robert says he and Anna fell for each other and got married. Then he discovered she was a double-agent, and everything went to hell. Seven years later, she showed up with Robin. Anna says she’s sorry she hurt him. He’s sorry for her pain, and that he never made her feel safe. He weeps, and she says she’s sorry too. He asks what they do now. She can’t hunt for Henrik alone; he’ll help on one condition. Henrik must never know she’s his mother.

Peter and Riley talk about Budapest. He mentions all kinds of places to go, but she doesn’t like to leave her hotel room. Nina tells Valentin it’s going well, and he says it would be easier without Maxie. Nina says she didn’t invite her; she just showed up, and she can’t get her to leave. Valentin says he can get rid of her. Nina asks how, and Maxie joins them. She says they’re lucky she showed up. Her invitation must have gotten lost in the mail. Nina says she didn’t want Maxie to feel pressured. Maxie says she’s happy Nina is making the effort to be nice to Peter. He’s one of the friends she can count on.

Diane tells Sonny that Mike has to remain in custody, but the arraignment is tomorrow. Sonny says he’s sick, and Diane says she’ll address that, and get the charges conditionally dismissed. He’ll be remanded to Sonny’s care. Carly thinks there has to be a way around. Sonny thinks there is.

Robert tells Anna, no reunions. She says she has to tell Henrik about his risk of disease. Robert says they can communicate that, but not tell him that she’s his mother. He says she should spare her family at best, and at worst, he could destroy everything they love. He tells her to promise he’ll never know. Anna promises, and he asks who else she told. She says, Andre, and he says, what about Finn? She says she wanted to, but she couldn’t. She tells him there’s no one else she told, but there is someone else who knows.

Maxie tells Nina that Peter is a man of the world, and Riley dressed up her Shiatzu for Halloween. Her point?  She says someone needs to save him. She goes over to Peter and Riley, saying she doesn’t mean to interrupt, but is Riley off her diet? The crab puff she’s eating has gluten in it. Riley excuses herself, and Peter calls Maxie his hero.

Mike tells Sonny that he’s making a mistake. Carly tells Mike that he’s doing what he has to, and Mike says tell him not to. Ava wonders why Griff is struggling. Sonny asks what she wants, and Ava says full custody. Diane says that’s not on the table. Ava suggests they give Mike the cell furthest from the drunk tank. Diane tells her that whatever leverage she has is going to slip through her fingers. Ava tells Sonny that she’ll do what she can to make sure his father spends his last doddering days in a cell. Does he want to take that chance? Diane tells Sonny not to win the battle and lose the war. Sonny says all right. Ava was cheated out of time with Avery, and can have her until tomorrow. Ava says, until tomorrow then.

Michael brings Nelle some water. She says he doesn’t look happy, and he tells her that he can’t say  his parents always put their children first. Nelle say Carly would do anything for them without a second thought, and Michael says Nelle would do the same for their child. Nelle says she’s trying to give the baby the best life she can. Michael’s phone rings. He tells Nelle they’ve found Avery and his grandfather. They’re going to be okay.

Sonny tells Avery that he’ll see her in the morning. Ava picks her up, and she says, bye, Mommy and Daddy to Sonny and Carly. Ava is not amused. Griff leaves with her. Mike tells Sonny that he shouldn’t have done that. Sonny says Mike doesn’t know what’s going on, and he has it under control. Mike says not to make the mistake he did. When comes down to it, choose his child. Sonny tells him not to worry about it, and tells Mike that he loves him. He and Carly leave.

Robert says, so Valentin tracked Anna to the house, and saw the midwife give the baby away? She says he only saw the baby once; he’d thought she had a girl. There’s a knock at the door. It’s Spinelli, Sam, and Jason.

Maxie tells Peter that Riley is wrong for him. If he’s looking for a date, talk to her; she knows the best people. Peter has no doubt. Nina says dinner is served. Peter takes out his phone, saying a volatile appetizer needs his attention, and he’ll be right there. Nina can’t find Riley. Peter tells Valentin that if he’d had to spend anymore time with her, he’d have died from boredom. Valentin says Nina is not going to let him be with Maxie. He needs to leave Port Charles. Peter says Nina is Valentin’s wife. He needs to find a way to deal with her. Peter isn’t going anywhere.

Sam tells Anna that the letters were destroyed. Henrik had to bank manager get them from the box, and they’re gone. Spinelli shows them the conundrum box. Sam points out that it has the Cassadine family crest on it.

Nelle hugs Michael. Sonny and Carly return, and Michael asks where Mike is. Sonny says he’s with Dante, and Avery is with Ava, but just for the night. Nelle thanks Michael, and says she’s glad it worked out. He says he hopes so.

Ava tells Griff that Avery fell asleep before she was finished tucking her in. She found hay in Avery’s pockets. She spent the night in a barn with a man who didn’t know who she was; never again. Griff says she and Sonny will find a way to work it out tomorrow. He tells her there’s no need to worry anymore. She asks if she looks worried. No, but Griff does.

Mike tells Dante that he really screwed up, but Dante says Sonny and Ava are messed up. Mike says the worst thing is coming back to himself and seeing people trying to figure out how to handle him. Should they talk to him straight, or lie to him like he’s a child? Dante says, let’s go have another camp out.

Carly tells Sonny that if Ava gives them any trouble, they’ll play their trump card – the video of her and Paul Hornsby. Because everyone will care about her sleeping with some guy who left town ten years ago. Sonny tells her that he’ll take care of Ava and Avery. She should take care of herself. She’s the one who needs help.

Tomorrow, Jordan tells Curtis a spot was found on her lung, Ava is going to fight for full custody, and Doc asks Carly why Sonny wanted her to see him.

Vanderpump Rules

Brittany says this is exactly what Jax wanted, and jets, calling him a dumbass, and slamming the door on her way out. He calls to her from the balcony, but she gets in a car and leaves. He says he sucks at relationships, and picks at some pizza. He says there was so much damage, he thinks it was a lost cause. She’s not happy, and it’s the one thing he can do to fix it.

Jax goes to Katie and Schwartz’s apartment. He says it’s not good right now. He thinks he’s a decent guy, but when it comes to relationships, not so much. He ended things with Brittany, and she took off after dropping some f-bombs. Did he expect her to just shrug it off and stick around? Oh, wait. It’s Jax. Maybe he did. Katie asks if there was a fight. He says it was a good morning, and he tried not to be a d-bag. They had sex last night, and this morning; it was a great morning. Here’s where everything screeches to a halt in my mind. Even though I don’t hate Jax any less, I could almost see his point. Brittany should have broken it off with him long ago, but this is the next best thing – she needs to be rid of him. I’ve had jobs where I knew I should move on, but was comfortable. I would still be there if the companies hadn’t been sold, and I was forced to go. Schwartz and Katie are both like, what? and Jax puts the d-bag cherry on the cake by saying, because sometimes sex isn’t about relationships; you just need to get off. In her interview, Katie calls Jax clinically, sociopathicly, insane. Jax says he’s miserable, but needs to fix himself before he can make someone else happy. She deserves better. Katie seconds that, and I hate Jax even more, if that’s possible.

Lisa has something for Lala. Lala hopes it’s something good; she’s stressed out. Lisa gives her an amazing pair of knee high lace up peep-toe boots. Lala loves them. She says it’s the first time she’s putting it out there, and she’s terrified. Lisa knows she can do it, and wants her to kick ass. She says Lala has done everything to get ready, and trust her, it will go brilliantly. When you’re wearing boots like that, what could go wrong?

Jeremy and Billie have drinks at Tom and Ariana’s place. Ariana suggests Tom work on the book while he’s working on cocktails for the bar. In his interview, he says he has problem with tunnel vision, and just concentrates on one thing. They talk about looking at a house, and Tom says his parents might have to help him out, because he’s invested everything in TomTom. If it’s a success, the house might come sooner than later. Ariana is obsessed with houses. Schwartz texts Tom about Jax and Brittany breaking up. He tells Ariana that he’s pretty sure Schwartz is meeting Jax at the hotel. Ariana can’t believe Tom is leaving because Jax broke up with his girlfriend. They finally have time to hang, and now he’s going to bounce because Jax made a stupid decision.

Tom says Jax is his friend. In her interview, Ariana wonders what it’s like up Jax’s butthole, and if there are rainbows and unicorns. She says they haven’t been on a date in forever. Jax made the choice to be an idiot, and Tom needs to stop babysitting him. She knows by the time he gets home, she’ll be asleep. Tom leaves to Ariana says sorry his friend is such an idiot.

Kristen tells Carter that Brittany is coming over. Jax just broke up with her, and had sex before he did. It’s bad enough he cheated on her, but he had to get one last bang in. Carter tells her that everyone’s version of the hot tub story is different. Kristen doesn’t know how they can have different stories, when no one was there but her, James, and Schwartz. She tells him that she’s being honest, and he has to believe her. He says he doesn’t put himself in positions like that, and she shouldn’t either. In her interview, Kristen says he’s right. She shouldn’t put herself in the position to jeopardize their relationship. She tells him, lesson learned.

Baby man Jax waits for his keepers. Schwartz and Tom show up with reinforcements, otherwise known as liquor. In his interview, Schwartz says Jax and Brittany’s relationship was an utter disaster; it was time to call it quits. He asks if Jax thought about breaking up while he was nailing Brittany. Jax says there’s no right way to break up, but Tom says there is a wrong way. Jax tells them as soon as he got the job offer, he was in. Tom says they’re all going to Lala’s showcase, and Jax says he’s passing. Schwartz says they need to have separation. Tom says they can’t sleep in the apartment together.

Brittany is staying at a hotel, and met up with her childhood friend Zack, who now lives in LA. She tells us that he’s like a piece of home, and she hadn’t wanted to be around anyone who worked at SUR. She brings Zack with her to Kristen’s place. She tells Kristen that she’s still in shock; it’s not like they had a fight. She says she did everything she could; she’s never been so stressed out as she has in this relationship. She knows she can make it, and makes enough money to support herself. She hasn’t talked to Jax or responded to his texts. Zack says she’s super strong. In her interview, Brittany says Jax betrayed her in so many ways. It’s time to put herself first for once. She says trying to make Jax happy has been sh*t. Kristen brings up Adam, and Brittany says he’s really hot. She sent him her number; she wants someone to flirt with. Kristen couldn’t be prouder of her.

Ariana and Tom look at a house. The realtor shows them around, and asks if they’re planning on having children. Ariana says, no, and Tom says, yes; three or four. Ariana says her handbags are her children. In her interview, Ariana says she just can’t, colorfully describing pregnancy and childbirth, using a lot of hand gestures. The realtor asks what they do, and Tom tells her about the upcoming TomTom. He’s excited about more space, and having something together besides the credenza. He also wants more privacy. We see a clip of Jeremy interrupting a living room make-out session. He says, not just for him, but for them as a couple. The realtor leaves them to check the place out. Ariana is glad they’re taking a baby step forward. If they get a house, maybe Tom will figure out what’s important, and tell Jax to do it on his own. In her interview, Ariana says she doesn’t want to control Tom, but wants to be put first and have him care about her feelings too.

Harrison! At SUR, Lisa shows Harrison’s new gym clothes to Stassi, who is rooting around for candles to use at Lala’s party. Lisa tells her about Schwartz and Tom wanting to have people for drinks in the TomTom space, which is hardly finished. She says sometimes it’s easier to acquiesce. Stassi says she’s learned that too. Lisa asks about Patrick, and Stassi says she’s frustrated. She doesn’t know what love is anymore, and Lisa says when you love someone, you want to make them happy. Stassi thinks Patrick is a good person, but doesn’t know. Lisa thinks it shouldn’t be that complicated. In her interview, Stassi says Lisa and Ken are too perfect, and one must be an alien. Relationships like theirs don’t exist.

Brittany polishes glasses at SUR. Lisa asks if she’s okay, and Brittany says she’s fine. She’s staying in a hotel, and wants to work. In her interview, she explains that she grew up on a farm, and if you don’t get up and feed the chickens, you’ll have dead chickens. You get off your ass and get it done. I come from that kind of work ethic myself. She tells Lisa that he’s embarrassing her more by ending it for no reason. Stassi tells her not to feel embarrassed. They’ve all been there. Brittany says it’s time to put herself first. Peter brings over some goat cheese balls.

Tom and Schwartz look in a clothing store for uniform ideas. Schwartz wants the employees to be happy. Tom says he wants a look that’s completely different from SUR and PUMP. He wants the bartenders to wear something comfortable that’s also sexy. They talk about the progress party, and try on different shirts. Schwartz says hopefully, Jax isn’t coming to Lala’s showcase. Tom is tired of Jax doing this sh*t, and handling things like an idiot. He’s not going to believe the break-up is real unless it’s been two months. Schwartz says he’s going to have zero sympathy for Brittany if she goes back to him. In his interview, he says Brittany knew what she was getting into. There’s no point in over-analyzing it. He says Jax will be firing up his Tinder account, and getting back in touch with his man-whore roots.

Stassi brings her friend Alex to help with setting up the showcase party. She just wants Lala to be happy, so she can focus on being great. She still can’t believe she’s planning Lala’s performance party. Lala comes in, and says she takes back anything bad she’s ever said about Stassi. She’s excited, anxious, and nervous. James tells her it will be good, and they go through some musical stuff. In his interview, James talks about when he first met Lala, and we flash back to that. He feels partly responsible for her big debut. Lisa FaceTImes Lala, who says she’s nervous, and trying to pull it together. Lisa asks if Lala’s boyfriend is coming, and Lala says, maybe. Lisa thinks he should be there to support her. In his interview, James finds it odd. If it was his girlfriend, he’d be there for her debut. Lala says she’ll send Lisa a video.

James tells us that you never know who’s watching, and it only takes one person to make you famous. The place looks fabulous, with flowers, candles, and images of Lala everywhere. Brittany says it’s great to be thinking about herself for once, and Stassi says she has the smile of freedom. Lala just wants to have the best time ever on stage, and has her squad with her. She usually doesn’t care how people react to her, but this time she’s looking for approval, and hopes she does a good job. She shows off her new boots.

Sean 2, Lala’s producer, introduces her. In her interview, Scheana says she loves watching Lala, and it makes her want to go back to the recording studio. James says Lala is looking hot. Keeping it classy and sexy; then sexy and less classy. James does a song with her. In her interview, Stassi says Lala did incredibly well. She’d expected her to be like Scheana – tone deaf in a tutu, lip-synching. We flash back to that. Stassi says instead, Lala killed it. Lala never thought this many people would be so supportive. Stassi calls Lala a cool-ass awesome person. In her interview, Lala says she’s finally found a place among these bad birches. She thanks everyone for a second chance, and says she loves them. They toast. You’ve come a long way, Lala.

Tom asks Schwartz if Brittany has talked to Jax, and he says Jax texted her twice. He FaceTimes Jax, waking him up (good). Schwarz says they just saw Lala, and he’s a believer. Jax asks if Brittany is there, and how she is. Schwartz looks over to where Brittany is having he time of her life, and says she’s solid. Tom says for most part, she seems okay with it. In his interview, Jax thought it would be better, but it’s been worse. I break out my violin. Adam tells Brittany that he’s coming at everything blind. In her interview, Brittany says he’s a Southern gentleman, he’s hot, and she doesn’t give a flying about Jax. Women everywhere cheer. Everyone dances and drinks and has a good time.

Lala says James was the one who told her that her voice was good enough for people to hear. She’s grateful. He’s the one person gave her the confidence to start singing. James says he hasn’t always been the best friend, but Lala kept it real, and kept him in check. He respects her for that. They have each other’s backs. They hug.

Jax talks with therapist Lindsey. He tells her that he ended things with his girlfriend, and has a lot of emotions going on. In his interview, he says he usually sees Reiki instructor Kelsey, who makes life better, but she’s away, so he’s seeing his therapist. Hopefully, he can get through this without going crazy. He tells Lindsey that he’s 90% at fault. He doesn’t know how to do the right things; that’s why he broke things off. Brittany brought everything she could bring to the table. She was faithful, loving, caring, and deserves better. There are tears in eyes, and he says he doesn’t want this. She’s the first one he’s loved. I remain unmoved.

Brittany and Ariana go to the apartment. Brittany runs upstairs to change. Scheana joins them. Ariana says she’s Brittany’s bodyguard. Scheana remarks that Brittany is strong, calm, cool, and collected. Brittany tells them about Jax’s texts, where he said he loved her. She was the best thing that happened to him, and it’s hard. She says he can go screw himself. In her interview, Brittany says it’s her time to shine, and in the next relationship, she’ll rule the roost. She says, thanks for the boob job, a-hole.

Jax knows he did the right thing, but she was the best girlfriend he ever had. He says it was something he had to do, and holds his head in his hand. He thought it was the right thing to end it. Let her start fresh, and find someone to give her what he can’t. He doesn’t know if that’s what he wants. He doesn’t know if he made the right decision. He’s super lost and confused. My heart bleeds for him.

Next time, the finale, the TomTom progress party happens, Stassi introduces Patrick to Lisa, and Lisa asks for Jax’s resignation.

🏃 And We’re Out…

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

I almost kissed the guy from Verizon. It turned out to be a loose wire on the outside pole, most likely due to the hurricane force winds we had over the weekend. I missed bits and pieces of GH in the beginning, but nothing important. Dude got here just in time, and while he was quiet, my dogs were not. They love to help out.

General Hospital

Anna tells Robert there is no danger. Jason isn’t there to watch her back; she’s watching his.

Jason sees Sam in the hotel hallway, and asks what she’s doing there. She asks if he came looking for her. He says, no, and she’s stunned that he found her anyway.

Anna says Robert’s presence is not required. Robert tells her not to be like that. I love Robert. It’s like seeing an old friend.

Finn sees Chase at Charlie’s. Chase has a huge smile, and says, hi, but Finn isn’t having it.

Ava looks at the test results, and wonders what Griff is hiding. She runs into Michael at Charlie’s, and tells him that Carly is late with Avery.

Carly looks at note – find me where you left me tonight. She goes to the graveyard, and Nelle watches.

Jason tells Sam that he’s there with Anna looking for Henrik. He says she came to get away and think, so he’s going to let her do it. Sam says she’s not going to pretend she doesn’t see him, and asks if he wants to talk about the investigation. He says, sure, and follows her to her suite.

Robert says he knows what Anna is doing, but she says doesn’t think so. Jason is the best asset she‘s ever seen. She’s grateful that he rid the world, and her, of Faison, but she doesn’t think Henrik deserves the same fate. Robert says it’s not her responsibility, but she says she’s as responsible for Henrik as Faison is.

Chase makes an attempt at banter with Finn, but Finn is irritated by Chase rolling a quarter across his knuckles. Finn tells him to cut it out, but Chase says it calms him. Chase gets a text, and has to leave.

Michael suggests that Ava phone Carly, but Ava says Carly’s phone has a tendency to drop her calls. She tells him that Nelle sets good example for her. She could learn a lot from the way Nelle tolerates Carly.

Carly tells Morgan that she’s early for her weekly visit, but someone wants her here; someone who knows him, and knows what he means to her. She smells something, and Nelle flashes back to Ava finding Morgan’s cologne. We see Nelle spraying it all over the gravesite.

One of Sonny’s guys asks if Sonny wants him to look for Mike, but Sonny thinks maybe he got hung up with Carly somewhere. Pilar runs in, asking if Mike brought Avery back. She explains how he went to the park with them, and when she went to the pretzel cart, Mike left with Avery. Sonny can’t believe she left them, but she says she just turned her back for a minute. She was hoping he brought her home. He asks why Carly wasn’t at the park, and Pilar says something came up and she was supposed to meet them there.

Carly knows that smell. She looks around and calls for Morgan.

Nelle goes to Charlie’s, and sees Michael. She asks if he’s meeting someone, but he’s there to pick something up. She tells him, great work in Lamaze, but he says she did the work. She changes it to good support, and says they make a great team for the baby. He tells her about an ELQ event for expectant parents; really an excuse to get together socialize. He asks if she wants to go.

Griff and Kiki toast to her success as a Shadow with empty coffee cups (sigh). He says rumor has it Dr. Bensch championed her cause. He tells her that they’re all pulling for her. Epiphany says don’t let them down.

Robert tells Anna that Henrik has nothing to do with her, but she says he has everything to do with her. She was in and out of Faison’s life for decades, and if she’d paid attention, she might have discovered his existence. Robert says Faison never let on that he had a son, but she says she never bothered to ask. Henrik was raised with a tyrant for a father, and still saved Jason’s life. Robert asks why. She doesn’t know; conscience, a glimmer of humanity? Robert suggest he might have wanted to use the best asset she’s ever seen for his own ends. She refuses to condemn him on speculation. She needs to find him. Robert asks, and then what? Offer him redemption? She says, exactly.

Jason asks Sam, why Switzerland? She says she spun the globe, put her finger on it, and here she is. And him. She asks about his lead on Henrik. Jason tells her the book gave him new leads. At the end, the son takes the lighter from his father’s hospital room when he dies. Anna confirmed Faison had one, and was carrying it, but it wasn’t in his personal effects. The theory there is the night Faison died, Henrik took it. Sam says if they find the lighter, they find Henrik. Jason says the problem is, so many people were in and out of the hospital, and a lighter is small enough to be concealed anywhere. The next lead is that Henrik could be targeting his mother.

Anna tells Robert that she’s not writing Henrik off. Whatever he was coerced into doing, she believes he deserves a chance at his own life and intends to see he gets it. Robert is worried about her working with Jason, and now their granddaughter is mixed up in it. Anna says he’s perilously close to pissing her off. She would never bring Emma into anything dangerous; it’s a research trip. She’s capable and they have a bodyguard. Robert says they have a mob hit man. Why throw in with Jason? He wonders where Finn is, and thought he was her back up.

At the hospital, Finn tells Griff that he sees no sign of infection. The underlying problem doesn’t seem to be physical. Griff appreciates the consult, and asks how things are with Anna. Finn says he doesn’t know. They’re not as close as they once were. Griff had hoped Faison’s death brought her peace, but Finn says she’s transferred her energy to finding Faison’s son. She can take care of herself, and he thinks she prefers to.

Kiki asks Epiphany about the Shadow schedule. Epiphany says she plugged Kiki in where she could with her regular job, and Kiki says she’ll turn herself into a pretzel and make it work. Kiki sees that the first doctor she’s going to shadow with is Dr. Bensch; she’d thought it was in obstetrics. She asks if Epiphany can change it. Epiphany gives her a look, and Kiki says, never mind.

Kiki goes to David’s office. He asks if he can help her.

Michael tells Ava about the ELQ event, and Nelle says she’d love to go if she’s not working. Ava says they can talk about donations for the Nurses’ Ball tonight instead. Sonny calls Michael, asking if he’s seen Avery or his mother. Michael says Carly was supposed to meet Ava at Charlies, and drop Avery off. Ava was looking for them too. Sonny says he’ll fill Michael in when he gets there, and not to tell Ava there’s anything wrong. He leaves. Nelle asks Ava about the pictures of the donations. Ava says they’re on her phone, and goes to get some food. Nelle scrolls through the phone, sees the picture of the test results, and says, what have we here?

Carly hears someone. It’s Chase, who asks what she’s doing there. She says she came to visit her son’s grave. He tells her that he got a call about a prowler, and there’s been vandalism at the cemetery. She says she didn’t see anyone, but he tells her she still shouldn’t be there. The earthquake left the ground unstable. She tells him about the note, but when she shows it to him, it’s blank. Okay, I have to admit, Nelle’s plan is picking up steam.

Sonny leaves a message for Carly, and tells his guy to find out what’s going on at the hospital. Michael shows up, and asks what happened? Sonny asks Pilar to tell him, hoping she’ll remember something else. Michael wonders why Sonny hasn’t called Dante, but Sonny says if he calls the police, Ava will get involved.

Carly tells Chase there was a message on the back of the flyer that told her come here. He asks if she means the cemetery, and she says where she last left him. He asks if she’s been drinking, and she insists she’s not impaired. He thinks maybe she took the wrong flyer. She says she didn’t, and wonders what’s happening.

Nelle sends a copy of the test results to herself, and deletes the sent mail from Ava’s phone. Ava asks what she thinks about the donations, and Nelle says she thinks Ava is distracted. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have left this, and shows her the test result picture. Ava claims that Griff wanted her to take a picture for backup, and she forgot it was there. Nelle asks why she doesn’t delete it, and suggests Griff doesn’t know she has it. Ava tells her to leave it alone, but Nelle says she’s only asking because she cares. She believes things aren’t as idyllic as Ava claims.

Kiki tells David that she starts the Shadow Program tomorrow, and her first rotation is with him. She asks if he arranged it.

Jason tells Sam that Anna is convinced Henrik is after his mother because of the book’s epigraph. Sam starts to look up the word on her phone, and he says it’s a quote that describes the book’s theme. For if the rot comes from both ends, together the branches must be severed. Anna seems to think it’s a statement about Henrik’s parents. Faison is already severed; now it’s his mother turn. He’s not sure it’s much of lead. Sam asks if he mentions his mother in the book, and Jason says Anna thinks there are clues to lead his mother to him, but it’s a long shot. Jason wonders why a mother would be looking for a son who wants her severed. Sam says she’s still a mom, and maybe wants to tell him her side of the story.

Anna asks why Robert is asking her about Finn, and he says she’s crazy about him. She asks who told him that, and he gives her a list, saying just about everybody. She says that Finn’s help with Cassandra was good, but that’s it. Robert knows they got close. Anna says they didn’t; they kind of did, but circumstances changed. He’s not part of their world. He’s a doctor, not a spy. Robert helps himself to a drink.

Michael asks Sonny, what if Mike tries to go to his old neighborhood? There’s still damage from the earthquake, and Avery is too young to help if anything happens. Sonny decides to call Dante. Carly comes in with Chase, asking what’s going on, and explaining Chase wanted to make sure got she got home okay. He tells her that Mike and Avery are missing, but she says they’re at the park with Pilar. Sonny tells her that Pilar bought a snack, and when she wasn’t looking, Mike disappeared with Avery. Chase asks for a photo, and Carly gives him one. He says he’ll get it to dispatch. Sonny looks grim.

Ava says she doesn’t have to explain herself to Nelle. Nelle says she wants to do what she can to help Ava get back on solid ground. Nelle is here for Ava, like she was for Nelle. Both of their phones ring. It’s a missing child alert for Avery.

Dr. Bensch tells Kiki that Epiphany does the schedule, and she asks if he arranged it. He asks why, and she says he knows why. He tells her that he bears no ill will, and thought they had an understanding. However their wires got crossed, he understands she has no romantic interest in him. They’re both adults, and both capable of putting aside their personal feelings. He’s moving forward in a professional manner. Is she?

Anna tells Robert it’s her operation, not his. If he wants in, he has to do as she says. He says now he knows why Finn isn’t here. He starts to go to his room, and she realizes he’s not leaving the suite. He tells her the hotel is fully booked, so he’s staying with her. Finn calls. Anna is obviously agitated, and he says they have emotional support animals that can help with stress.

Sam says even if Anna is right, no one knows who Henrik’s mother is; it’s a dead end. Jason tells her that he contacted the publisher, and they don’t know PK Sinclair’s identity, but he found out where the book proceeds go – to an account in Zurich. Sam wonders if he could have a relationship with the same banks Faison used. Maybe it’s the same bank as the safe deposit box. She asks how they get in? Jason says Anna thinks she can get in by posing as a wealthy widow looking for schools for her granddaughter. He’s supposed to be her bodyguard. Sam says that’s one cover he can pull off; he just has to stand there and not say anything. He tells Sam that Anna has a list of schools she wants to search. Sam wonders why, if they can get into the safe deposit box. He says it doesn’t make sense, but she insisted. He thinks Anna doesn’t want him searching on his own. She’s afraid if he finds Henrik before her, he’ll kill him. Sam wonders why she’d care, but Jason isn’t sure. His phone rings, and he says it’s a Zurich area code. He answers, and says, got it; he’s on his way. The Swiss police just arrested Spinelli.

Anna tells Finn everything is all right, but he says she sounds tense. She tells him it’s a chronic condition. She asks how he is, and he says he’s making do. She says she’s the same, and asks about Alexis. He tells her, Alexis is Alexis. He says off the record, Griff was asking about her. He’s worried, and wanted to make sure she’s looking out for herself. She thanks him for his concern, saying it means a lot. He tells her to be careful, and take no undue risks – except at the roulette table. Robert asks Anna something about the shower. Finn hears, and says it sounds like she has a chaperone, and tells her, good luck. Anna makes a sad face.

Dr. Bensch tells Kiki that he’s sorry she’s uncomfortable. She could pull out, and spend the summer hitting the books for year one. She says then the Shadow door will slam shut. He says he can keep the past in the past, and she says she can too. She’ll see him tomorrow. He tells her, wise choice. She’ll get a lot out of it.

Griff sees Nelle at Charlie’s, and asks if Ava is still there. Nelle says she just left, and shows him the missing child alert.

Chase tells Sonny that they’re already getting responses. They have the park covered, and they’re pulling the security footage. Carly tells Sonny she’s sorry, and he says she doesn’t understand. Mike gets worse later in the day, and Pilar isn’t equipped to handle it. What was so important that she’d leave them alone?

Ava bursts in, asking what did Sonny and Carly do with her daughter?

Tomorrow, Lulu agrees to disagree with Dante, Spinelli says we meet again, and Ava tells Carly to give up the information now.

Vanderpump Rules

Let’s just get it out of the way right now. I hate Jax.

Jax tells Lisa he’s tired of everyone flipping the effing script on him, and eff all these effity effing effs. He gets loud and gives the finger – with both hands – to the entire restaurant. James says he looks like he’s popping out of his shirt. Outside, he yells at Tom for daring to still be friends with James. Jax rips his mic off, and stomps down the street, banging on a phone booth as he passes it. Tom is concerned something knocked a screw loose, and says Jax looks like he needs medication. I vote Jax off the island.

Brittany apologizes to Lisa. Lisa asks why Brittany is apologizing for Jax. Brittany says she’s associated with what he does, and Lisa asks if she’s going to spend the rest of her life enabling him to her own detriment. She asks what Brittany is hoping for, and what Brittany sees that she doesn’t. Brittany says she can’t not give him a chance. Lisa wonders how many chances she’s already given him. In her interview, Brittany says people don’t see what she does, and starts to cry. Lisa tells her that she needs to ask herself if he’s something worth fighting for. Preach it, sister!

Stassi sets up for the Pucker & Pout blog party. Katie says last year, she was unhappy with herself and angry. We flash back to that. In the past year, she’s worked on growing up, and her life is going in a good direction. She’s partnering up with the lipstick queen of the internet, and revamping the blog.

Katie and Stassi tie balloons. Katie tells Stassi that Jax isn’t coming, and brings her up to speed on what happened at SUR. In her interview, Stassi says meltdown and Jax go together like pizza and ranch dressing. Katie asks where things are at with Patrick. Stassi says she can’t be up and down anymore. The first night they were in Mexico, she texted him at 4 am, asking for him to wish her a good night, and he wouldn’t let it go that she hadn’t texted immediately upon arrival. In her interview, Stassi says it got intense. She feels like she put in effort and work the second time around, and if doesn’t work out, it’s awful. She and Katie inhale some helium, since cartoon voices always elevate the mood.

Brittany makes Jax coffee. Why? She asks how he feels, and he says a little hungover. She asks what set him off; he wasn’t even himself. Oh, I think he was very much himself – a bitter middle-aged dude who hangs out with too young of a crowd, and blames everyone else for his problems. He says that Adam told him about Scheana trying to set him up with Brittany, and how he didn’t even know what was going on. Brittany says Jax went crazy on everyone, and he makes the poor excuse that everyone is always in his business, and he’s fed up. In his interview, Jax claims that everyone else has done the same as him, if not worse, but for some reason, he gets targeted. I’d say no one has acted like him, he’s the worst, and he targets others to take the focus off of his own misdeeds. He wants to move. Then they can’t blame their problems on him. I’m sure he’ll find a new set of friends to take the blame for his problems.

Lala meets James for some musical collaboration. She asks if he’s nervous. She’s sh*tting bricks about her showcase. She tells him no talking, just play the five songs right in a row. He tells her it’s a big deal, and there could be people from the industry there. He feels like Dr. Dre to her Eminem, and I can’t. She tells him that she invited everyone, and wants to be the slutty Mother Teresa. I’m not even sure what that means. They discuss Jax. Lala had invited him because he’s Brittany’s man, and feels badly for her. She says if she was in that position, someone would be dead, and it wouldn’t be her. I have to say, I do like their sound, but they think a little too highly of themselves.

Tom and Schwartz hang out at the TomTom site. They have a beer and stroll around in hardhats. Tom says the progress party is crazy; people will actually see the progress they’ve made. Um… I think that’s the point. They discuss the DJ booth. They’ve invited twenty-five guests, and go over all the things they still need to deal with. Tom gets down on one knee and asks Schwartz to officially be his partner. He gives Schwartz a tie-tack with TT on it. He has a matching one. He hopes they have beautiful business babies together. They swear they’re ride or die.

Lisa goes to the riding club, and Ariana meets her there. They go through some agility runs. Lisa tells Ariana that she has a lot of confidence in Tom, and thinks it’s a good start. Who knows where it will take him? Ariana says his priorities are all TomTom, and she’s waiting for him to work on the cocktail book. In her interview, Ariana says once he got involved with the book, she had to start over. Now he’s moved on to bigger and better things. Why did he want to be involved in the first place? She wishes he would make it more of a priority; she could have had it done by now. Lisa asks her, why wait? but Ariana wonders how to bring it up without being a nag. In her interview, Lisa says Ariana is strong enough to stand on her own. She doesn’t understand why she’s putting up with Tom’s bullsh*t. Ariana asks, what about that Jax. Lisa says he’s making the wrong choice to yell at her and Ken. He created a mess, now he has to live with it. She’s considering firing him. I would.

Everyone is impressed with Katie’s promo party. Her mom and grandma are there, and very proud. Kristen comes in on crutches. Carter asks if she wants him to carry her purse, and she says, maybe later, when she’s drunk. He thinks Kristen being on crutches is hot. I think he’s a kinkball, until I see him watching her dress ride up as she walks. Kristen explains that she’s accident prone and awkward, and compares herself to the blow-up thing at a car dealership, doing an eerily accurate impression. Adam asks Brittany how it went, and if Jax is coming. Brittany says he’s not. We see he’s busy eating ice cream from a carton at home. Brittany says he went nuts last night. Billie says he’s insecure because Adam is hot. In her interview, Brittany says Adam is working to be a bartender, and does some modeling. Jax is jealous because he’s like Jax ten years ago. Jax 2.0 maybe?

Lisa and Ken arrive. In her interview, Katie says she’s thrilled with how the party came together. She says Stassi did an amazing job, and can accomplish a lot, when she’s not stressing over Patrick and his man bun. Stassi says they’d better serve goat cheese balls at her funeral. Lala tells James that Carter is giving him dirty looks. He tells her that’s nothing new. She asks if he’ll be comfortable at the showcase, and he says it’s not like he hasn’t performed in front of these same people trying to bring him down before.

Tom and Peter talk to Carter about butchering golf in Mexico. Carter asks what James said. Tom tells him about the hot tub, and that Jax saw the cushions afterward. NO! NOT THE CUSHIONS!!! Carter wonders why they didn’t have Kristen’s back, since they’re friends. In his interview, Tom thinks of all the times Kristen lied to him, and we flash back to that. Tom says it doesn’t look good. He was in the same situation; thinking, no way, and then it was, way.

Kristen talks to someone about her Cheadle – a beagle and chihuahua mix. Carter asks why she’s talking to more dudes. She asks where he’s been, and he says he heard about her and James in a jacuzzi. He says they weren’t just on the beach for ten minutes. She explains there was a plunge pool outside the room, but she wasn’t in it. Who is he going to believe, her or Jax? He says, her, and she asks why punish her then? In her interview, Kristen says her own boyfriend doesn’t believe her. She swore the group wouldn’t get in middle of her relationship, and they have. There’s nothing she can do. She hobbles off to the ladies’ room.

Katie’s mom thinks Lisa, and Lisa says she’s proud of Katie. Lisa asks when the babies are coming, and then says, one step at a time. Open the bar, then they can make a baby on the bar, which Mrs. Katie’s Mom finds hysterically funny.

Schwartz says for his standards, his footwear tonight is upscale. Everyone is impressed that he’s wearing shoes at all. They talk about the upcoming progress party. In her interview, Ariana says when they talk about the bar, they go into their own little world. Tom asks Ariana how the day with Lisa went, and she says they need to prioritize the cocktail book. In his interview, Tom says it’s not like Ariana has been super productive. She could do a lot without him. Dude, you are the one who wanted in. Should you do no work? She says she could have finished if he hadn’t wanted to be a part of it.

Jax eats whatever he can get his hands on. He’s fed up, bummed out, and it’s all the more reason for a fresh start. He’d like to see Kelsey, but she’s in Africa, so he’s lost. We see a clip of her telling him the reason he’s being mean is because he doesn’t want to be one to walk away. Brittany deserves his truth, so she can find the person who will treat her like a princess, the way she deserves. He says he’s trying to be better person, but Brittany wants a lot – to be married and have children – and he’s not sure he can give her that. I’m totally sure he can’t, but I don’t think she wants “a lot.”

Stassi sits with Brittany. She tells Brittany that everyone who knows her would say she deserves the best man, yet she’s chosen the one they all think is the worst. She wants Brittany to recognize her worth. Brittany says Stassi isn’t with her every day and doesn’t see their relationship. In her interview, Brittany says it’s hard to explain. Jax is her best friend, and it’s hard for people to understand, but she can’t turn it off. Stassi asks what if she’s wasting her best years. She hopes she’s not, and Stassi says she worries about it. She’s in a relationship that goes up and down. Brittany says even if it doesn’t work out, she’ll know she gave it her all. Stassi says if Brittany ends up marrying Jax, she doesn’t think she’s capable of attending the wedding.

Patrick visits Stassi. Did he shake that man bun? I probably won’t dislike him any less, but at least I’ll be able to look at him. He asks about the event, and Stassi says she’s tooting her own horn. She’s good at it. She likes to decorate things, but finds the clerical stuff a drag. Patrick says she just wants the credit for it. She tells him that they need to figure out how to be consistent in their relationship. She’s sorry she didn’t text him in Mexico, and he tells her to stop making it about her, when it’s not that big. She takes small things and slights, and turns them into major battles. Then she turns wars into battles. Stassi corrects him, saying it’s battles into wars, and he’s like, whatever. He says they’re four years in. They’re different people, and they need to find a happy medium.

Schwartz tells Katie that he and Tom stopped by the bar. She asks if it’s the semblance of a bar, and he says the progress is surprising. He says it’s their best year yet. In his interview, he says for once, he can imagine a future. A house in the hills, killing it at the restaurant, kids, dogs, and maybe a llama. Katie finds a bone in the fish they’re eating, and Schwartz tells her about choking on the plastic wrap, when he was over-eager to eat something as a child. She’s afraid to have children with him.

Katie feels like she’s come a long way. She talks about her depression from PTSD after falling through a skylight. We see a clip of her, vlogging about being in the hospital. She tells Schwartz that before the accident, she was positive and confident, but afterwards, something happened. She’d get angry and cause problems. Schwartz says people thought she was bad, but didn’t realize how close to death she came. She says it’s taken almost a decade, but she’s never felt more herself. She tells him it feels good, and starts to cry. In his interview, Schwartz says Katie has been through a lot, but finally grew into the awesome person he knew she could become. He tells her that they got through it, and they dance their wedding dance. It’s interspersed with clips from them dancing it at the wedding.

Jax brings home coffee. Brittany asks how he feels, and he says unhappy and has been it’s hard for him. Oh, boo-effing-hoo. Brittany says he’s making her feel like sh*t, but he says it has nothing to do with her. He needs to make changes. She deserves to be happy, get married, have kids, and be treated like a princess, but he’s not that person. She asks what he’s saying. He tells her that he’s not good in relationships. She deserves better.

Let me stop for a moment here. When I was young, single, and rocking NYC, I dated a lot. If I had to pick one piece of advice, it would be if a man says he’s not good enough for you, he’s not. Run. Now.

Jax tells her that she deserves better, and he doesn’t think they can be together anymore. She doesn’t get where this is coming from. He says he doesn’t like who is, but it’s not because of her. She wants to know how he can do this, when she’s been through so much. She says she’s trying to help him, but he says what he did is wrong, and he effed up. She asks why he let her try – that’s what I say – and he says he wanted it to be fine, but it would be fine one day, then crazy the next. Jax says he needs to be by himself, and Brittany tells him to get out. How dare he put her through all this sh*t, and now act like he’s the one who gave his all? After everything she’s been though, to break up is bullsh*t. She doesn’t want to look at him anymore, and tells him to get out. She says after all the heartbreak, he’s going to pull this sh*t? Get out! In her interview, Brittany says she tried to stand by his side no matter what. Now he wants to throw it away. Seriously, you’re young. You’ll recover. She says she can’t look at him. She’s leaving. He says this isn’t what he wanted. She says he did, and calls him a dumbass, and slams the door on her way out. In her interview, she says he’s done a million horrible things to her, and he’s not going to change. He’ll always be the same Jax. Jax says he sucks in a relationship. He calls to her from the apartment balcony, but she gets into a car, and leaves. Jax wonders where she’s going. He respects that she stuck around and tried to make work, but he’s tired of seeing her upset and sad. It’s time to throw in the towel. I’d like to throw a wet towel at Jax’s head.

Spoiler alert – to date, it looks like they’re still together. While Brittany continues to say that it’s nobody’s business but her own – which is totally true, but you’re on a reality show, so you made it my business – she says people don’t know Jax’s other side. Unless Jax is totally making this up for TV, I don’t care what else goes on. If that’s his persona when the cameras are rolling, he’s still a repulsive person.

Next time, Jax goes to therapy, Brittany rethinks Adam, and Lala is terrified.

🚢 Below Deck Mediterranean will be cruising the south of Italy, beginning Tuesday, May 15^th, at 9 pm.

😌 That Feeling When Things Get Back to Normal…

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

At Kelly’s, Josslyn tells Michael that Oscar is going nuts at home. He thinks it’s great how much Josslyn cares about Oscar, and she thinks Michael should follow her example. He should stop being stubborn, and get back together with Nelle.

Nelle calls someone, and asks if they want to grab a bite to eat. She knows it’s late, but she worked up an appetite today.

Carly finds a picture of Morgan in a smashed frame. She hears footsteps, and calls his name. She grabs the bat and gets ready.

Elizabeth talks to a cop, telling him to call for backup and search for Franco. Jordan shows up at the hospital, and at first thinks Franco took someone. Elizabeth says it’s the opposite. Jim took Franco.

Jim pulls the car in somewhere, and takes out the gun.

Carly stands behind the door. A real person is coming up the stairs. The door opens, and she raises the bat.

Michael asks what it will take for Josslyn to abandon her quest? She tells him to make an honest effort to fix things with Nelle. He says funny that she used the word honest. She says they’re having a baby; he should try to make things better. He tells Josslyn they’ve come to an understanding, and are working together for the baby. She says, not for each other, and he insists they’re over. She doesn’t get why he can’t try, since they seem made for each other. He disagrees, and since it’s his life, his vote counts more than hers. They’re never getting back together.

Elizabeth explains what happened, and tells Jordan that Jim had a gun, and he’s wearing scrubs. Jordan says he knows they’re searching for him, so he must have been desperate, sneaking around the hospital. Drew says he was trying to get to Betsy. He was with her and thought she had an episode, but she must have really seen him. Jordan asks how she is, and Drew says heavily sedated. Elizabeth says Jim tried to take off with her and Jake, and Franco showed up. He got in between them, and she and Jake ran. By the time she got back with Drew, they were gone. She tells Jordan that she can’t ignore this just because it’s Franco. Jordan says she’s not. They’re canvassing the area. Elizabeth says Jim tried to kill Franco once before, and won’t hesitate again.

We see the parent of an honor roll student bumper sticker on Elizabeth’s car. Franco is in the trunk. No, he’s not – it’s Jim! Franco says, let’s go; we’re here, and holds the gun on Jim. Jim gets out, and Franco tells him to get up if he wants to live. Boy, am I smiling.

Josslyn sees Nelle, and tells her to sit, leaving to order something. Nelle tells Michael that Josslyn is the most romantic person she’s ever met. He says wait until her first heartbreak, and she says to hell with love. Nelle thinks she’s too optimistic for that. She asks if Michael is still at the MetroCourt. She picked up some gifts, and got him a baby monitor. It covers any place within city range, so he can speak into it on the nights when he won’t be there in person. He says it’s thoughtful of her, and asks if she wants to join them, but Nelle says she’s meeting someone. Brad walks in, and she says, here he is now. Michael looks puzzled.

Carly nearly whacks Sonny in the head. She says she thought he was an intruder, and he tells her that he didn’t want her to be alone with the inspector, since she’s been jumpy. He was calling to her; didn’t she hear him? She says she was caught up in this, and shows him the picture.

Jordan says they got the footage from the security cameras. Elizabeth asks if Franco is hurt, but Jordan says they couldn’t tell from the angle. They can see them struggling, but next usable image is them driving away. Scotty shows up, and asks what’s with the cops. Elizabeth tells him that Jim was there, and tried to take her and Jake hostage. Franco intervened, and Jim took him. Drew adds that he took Elizabeth’s car, and Scotty says it careened by him, going toward Beecher’s Corners. Jordan leaves, and Elizabeth asks Scotty if he saw that Franco is okay. He says he doesn’t know about okay, but he was in control. He was definitely driving, and there was no sign of Jim.

Franco throws Jim into the studio. He asks Jim if he remembers how he was so keen to buy the place that brought them together after all these years. Jim asks if it wasn’t condemned, and Franco says, yep; it’s just them. Jim’s favorite painting survived the earthquake without a scratch. Jim says they shouldn’t be there. Franco says he likes it there. In his life, it’s been hard to feel safe, but he feels safe there. He’s done his best work there, and they have work to do. Jim asks Franco, please don’t hurt him again, and Franco promises he won’t, calling him Uncle Jim. He says Jim used to like it when he called him Uncle Jim. Jim says that had some good times; he was a special kid. Franco says Jim has a very dark sense of humor. Jim doesn’t know what he’s talking about, but Franco thinks he does. Jim says he’s sorry it’s come to this. It wouldn’t have happened if he’d protected Franco. Franco asks him to clarify. Jim says when they were in his hotel room, and Franco freaked out. Drew busted in, and Jim got scared, letting his guys take them. He didn’t know what they were going to do, and would have put stop to it. Franco says, that’s enough. That’s not what happened, and not why they’re at the studio. They’re there to talk about what happened on the stairs, when he pushed Andy down and hurt him. He finally remembers what happened. He pushed Andy because of Jim. He tells Jim to talk about what happened before the stairs. Jim says it’s ancient history; why talk about it? Franco says because they’re going to, and when he’s satisfied he’s heard every word Jim has to say, he’ll put him out of his misery. He’s going to keep his promise not to hurt him, but he’s going to kill him.

Franco says, let’s talk what really went on, but Jim says he has nothing to say. Franco says that’s a first; Jim is never at a loss for words. Jim says they’ve already talked about what he did to Andy, but Franco says, not all of it. We see young Franco push Andy. He says, yes, he did it, but why? Jim says Franco knows why, and Franco tells him to pretend he forgot, and explain it. Jim says it’s in his DNA; he was born to hurt people. He terrorized Andy. Betsy needed him there to keep Franco away from him. He asks if Franco remembers what Andy looked like at the bottom of the stairs. We see Betsy finding him. Franco says he remembers better than Jim. Jim whines about seeing Andy so small in the hospital bed. We see Betsy in a bad wig next to Andy at the hospital, and Jim telling her that he’ll take care of Bobby tonight. Franco says he remembers going to bed that night, closing his eyes, and trying to disappear, but he couldn’t. We see Jim coming into his room, and says he knows Bobby is playing possum. He knows Bobby is upset about what happened, so he got him something. He gives him a stuffed toy. Franco says he was in there so many times – when his mom was at work, late at night when his mom was sleeping. He was in the bed, sitting next to him, and would pat the bed spread two times; always two times. One time he even came in broad daylight when his mom was downstairs. Jim calls him crazy. Franco says Jim told him they had to be quiet, so no one would know. Jim says it’s not true. Franco says, it is. The thing that troubles him the most, is that Jim somehow made him think he deserved it. We see Jim telling Bobby not to make trouble for his mom; it’s their secret. Jim says his mom was weak, and he needed a strong hand. Franco says they wouldn’t be there if Jim had just smacked him around. He pushed Andy to save him. He couldn’t let Jim molest Andy the way he molested him. He did that to him, and was going to do it to Andy. That is the truth. Jim calls him nuts, saying it’s a bizarre fantasy concocted to let him off the hook. Franco cries, saying he was just a little kid. Jim used him; fouled him. Now he’s going to say it. He points the gun at Jim. Jim says he’s not a bad man. Franco needed him, and he was there for him. All he ever did was love him.

Brad talks to Nelle about how he and Lucas can’t wait to take home their baby. She asks if the adoption is confirmed, and Brad says he’s worried it will fall through. She tells him to relax; it won’t make the baby come any faster. She says she hasn’t seen Lucas much lately, and Brad says he’s been working a lot, so he can take time later when the baby comes. Lucas calls, and Brad steps away. Michael sits at the table. He tells Nelle that if she’s going to make friends, she can’t do much worse than Brad. I guess he didn’t get the memo that Brad changed his ways.

Scotty tells Elizabeth that the car was going downtown, even though he told the cops it was going in the opposite direction. If Franco was the hostage taker and not the hostage, he didn’t want to alert them. Elizabeth wonders why he wouldn’t get help. Scotty has no idea why Franco does what he does. He probably got upset when Jim manhandled her and Jake. He can’t find Franco, but knows who can – Mac Scorpio.

Jim tells Franco he’s sorry he hurt him. He was a special kid, and they had a bond. Franco asks how many children did Jim abuse? Franco tried hard to stop Jim from doing to Andy what he did to him. One day, he showed up with a baseball mitt for Andy, and he knew Jim wasn’t going to stop. He says don’t tell him it was only one, and Jim says he doesn’t know how many. Franco doesn’t believe him, and Jim says he doesn’t remember. Franco thinks he does. He thinks Jim remembers everything; every little detail like what their favorite cartoons were, and breakfast cereal, and the colors of paint in their bedrooms. He bets Jim remembers every gift he gave every one of them. Jim says he was so special, and Franco says he’s not getting out alive without a full confession. He hands Jim a pen.

Carly tells Sonny she doesn’t know what caused the lights to go out or the noise. She just found the picture. Someone broke it. The same someone who left it there for her to find, but she didn’t see anyone. She could feel someone was in there. Sonny says the earthquake could have broken it, but Carly insists it didn’t. It’s not the first time she’s gotten a message about Morgan.

Sonny says he’ll check the circuit box. Carly says she did that already, and tells him it started with the phone calls. She thought they were thought pranks. At first, they were just hang-ups, then a young guy said, I’m here, and in the last call, she heard an explosion. Dante traced the calls to a pay phone near where Morgan died. She explains that she and Jason went to the police. They talked to a homeless man who said a young guy used the phone a couple of times, but after that, the calls stopped. She tells Sonny about the scarf she found on her desk, and how it was like Morgan used to wear. Sonny wants to see it, but she says he can’t. The fire alarm went off, and when she came back, it was gone. Now this photo. The common thread is their son. Sonny understands why she’d ask Jason, but wonders why she never told him.

Nelle asks Michael what’s wrong with Brad. Michael says he has a questionable past, and Nelle wonders if he knows who he’s talking too. She says he’s been nice to her, and Michael says he’s not telling her not to be friends, just giving her the facts. She appreciates him looking out for her, but says Brad has been nothing but cool. She doesn’t think Lucas would have married him or want to raise a child with him if he wasn’t. And if he’s good enough for Lucas, he’s good enough for her. Michael says it’s her call; he just wanted her to be aware.

Scotty tells Drew that Franco was driving downtown. Drew wonders where Franco would take Jim, and can’t understand why he wouldn’t call the police. Elizabeth thinks there are missing pieces to the story. Drew says if Franco didn’t tell her, he can’t fully remember or can’t share it. She says he’s been bothered by Jim since the beginning. He couldn’t shake it, like the painting of him and Drew when they were kids. Drew says he’s only seen a picture of it. She says for whatever reason, it rattled Franco, and got him thinking about his childhood. Drew asks if the painting is at her house, but she says he didn’t want to look at it. He asks where it is.

Franco makes Jim write a confession. Franco wants to know where Jim took all the kids. He thinks Jim has a spot, so they’re going there. Jim asks what about his confession. Doesn’t he want Jim to go to prison? Franco says the statute of limitations is long expired. Jim asks if Franco is going to let him go, and Franco shakes his head, saying he’s going to kill him. Jim says Franco promised he wouldn’t hurt him, and Franco says he’ll kill him quickly. Jim tells him not to do this. He knows he failed Franco. Franco points the gun at him, saying he deserves to die. Jim tells him to think about the other kids, and if they don’t deserve the same chance to hear him admit what did and see him punished. The only thing Franco cares about is stopping it. Jim says he’ll be in prison, and never be near a kid again. Franco says it’s too risky. The only way to know he’ll never hurt anyone again is to kill him. Jim says Franco will only make him a victim; he’s sick and needs help. Who will he be to the people love him? The guy they love is a cold-blooded executioner. Franco remembers Jim telling him to be a good boy, and points the gun at him, saying, never again. Jim jumps up, and pushes him.

Sonny understands why Carly tells Jason everything, but why not tell him? She says he was already dealing with Mike. She’d thought it would be handled by now. She doesn’t understand any of it, but Sonny says they’ll get through it together, and hugs her.

Nelle tells Brad she’s starving, and he says it’s on him; a token of his gratitude for what she said. He made a bad mistake, and bad choices. Even now, he feels like he doesn’t measure up with Lucas’s family. Nelle says she’s over it. She doesn’t care what people think anymore. He says for what it’s worth, he thinks highly of her, and expects to think even higher when she becomes a mother. She says, back atcha, dad-to-be.

Josslyn heard Michael putting in his two cents about Brad. It shows he cares. Michael says that’s not the same as loving someone. He should have figured that out sooner.

Scotty tells Elizabeth that he’s out of there before Jordan realizes he gave her the wrong information. He’s meeting Mac at Kelly’s. He wonders where Drew went, and Elizabeth says he had someplace to be.

Jim and Franco struggle. The gun flies out of Franco’s hands. They fall to the floor, and Franco grabs for it, but Jim gets him in a headlock. Franco sees Betsy, who’s saying she’s sorry. He sees Elizabeth reaching for him, and Andy giving him the rabbit’s foot. He starts to black out. Jim calls him Bobby, and tells him to go to sleep. He couldn’t leave it alone. It’s his fault. He made Jim do it. He promised not to tell, and he’s a bad boy. A gun goes off, and Jim falls. Drew stands there with a literal smoking gun.

Tomorrow, Lulu wants to take Valentin up on his offer, Sonny says there’s no proof of a scarf, and Drew tries to wake up Franco.

Vanderpump Rules

James calls Kristen an attention seeker, and tells her to shut up. She throws a drink at him, and half of it lands on Lala. James and Lala walk out. James tells Stassi that he hopes she’s happy. If he said something, it was meant as a joke. Scheana says he was apologizing. In her interview, Katie thinks it’s all a waste of energy. Lala asks, who throws a drink? (apparently, Kristen), and Stassi says, who makes things like this up? Lala says, he didn’t, and way to have a civilized conversation. Now she has a drink all over her.

James talks to Raquel, weeping on the phone that he doesn’t know what to do. Tom comes over to talk to him. He asks if there’s something James doesn’t remember, but James says, no. He has nothing to lie about. In his interview, he says they kept poking and prodding.

Stassi orders room service, with balsamic vinaigrette to go with the pizza. In her interview, she explains the five condiments for pizza are: sriracha/ranch, ranch, balsamic, hot sauce, and one time when she was drunk, she used ketchup. I have never once wanted to dip my pizza in any kind of dressing.

Jax says it’s the last night, so they’re turning it up, as the kids say. Then he gets confused, not being sure if it should be turnt. The drinking commences.

James says Jax is running with a sarcastic, bad joke. Lala tells him she’s proud of how he handled himself. She wondered if that really happened, and James calls Kristen stupid. He says she’ll be coming for him now, with a diabolical plan. Lala says Kristen will have to go through her first, and that the two of them are like Eminem (who she calls Em) and Dr. Dre. No one is gangster like them. I feel like I should comment here, but I don’t even know what to say.

Katie says Kristen is making it worse for herself; it’s like Jerry Springer. Kristen complains about what she went through, and in her interview, Katie says it was like a psychotic mental crazy tirade. She says she told Kristen to take a breath. Nip it in the bed, bury it, and move on, but she didn’t listen. Kristen says at least she used a drink and not her fist. Katie tells her it’s pointless. She’s not going to lie and say Kristen did the right thing. She’s making it worse. In her interview, Kristen says Katie is being an a-hole to her, and wonders why this is her fault.

At TomTom, the walls are up, as well as the framing for the office. Ken and Lisa discuss the plans, and Ken says the kitchen won’t be happening for a month. Lisa remembers opening a place in Piccadilly Circus, saying it was a lot of pressure, but wonderful. Tom calls, and tells her that he’s been trying different cocktails, and has his eye on different mescals. She says he can show her when he gets back. He says that the others are interested in checking the place out, and he wants them to see the progress, Lisa says it looks like bomb went off. In his interview, Tom thinks if his friends see the progress as it’s happening, they can have more of a connection to the finished product. Lisa tells him okay, and asks how they’re doing. He says everyone is getting along, and James and Kristen might or might not have hooked up. She says nothing surprises her, and the only recipe Kristen knows, is one for disaster.

Jax wants to call Kelsey and give her an update. His anxiety is high from the trip. Uh-huh. I don’t think I’ve mentioned it for a while, but I hate Jax. With a passion.

Brittany tells Stassi that Jax wants privacy, so he can FaceTime with Kelsey, his Reiki instructor. In her interview, Stassi says if Jax kicked her out for some stupid sh*t called Reiki, she’d hit him with a rake. Brittany says she can only imagine what they talk about. All she knows Is that Kelsey taps on him, and it calms him down, but weed does the same thing.

Jax tells Kelsey that he’s in Mexico. She asks if he’s taking time for himself, like he ever takes any other kind of time. He says it’s utter chaos, and there’s a lot of drinking. He’s trying to steer clear of the drama, but feels attacked by everyone. He has no patience when he’s being attacked. She tells him when that’s happening, to sit for a moment and breathe. When we react to things people say about up, that means a part of us believes it’s true. Jax says he snaps easily, but he’s learning not to. Kelsey tells him to focus on the good stuff. She says Nelson Mandela could have chosen to see the bad happening to him, or what he did, seeing what he’d do afterward. In his interview, Jax says he knows who Nelson Mandela is. He went to jail because he fought for the rights of the providence, or whatever. One of the producers asks what country he’s from, and Jax answers, Africa? His question mark. He does know Nelson is in Oprah’s book club though. Kelsey tells him that he has the power to manifest what he wants. His decision should be to make no decision for the next two weeks. Jax says she always makes him happy. Jax always makes me ill.

Scheana is excited to see Rob. The four days felt like four months. I’ll bet it felt like four minutes for him. Kristen says it’s taking all of her will power not to strangle James. She can’t leave the rumor in Mexico, and has to take it home. Stassi says, adios, Mexico.

Kristen and Carter go to lunch. Carter says he worked and took care of the dogs while she was away. Kristen wishes he’d been there, but is glad she went. She says everything was fine, but James created a rumor. She says she’d walked with him on the beach, and something was said when the guys were at golf. Tom asked James if they’d messed around, and James’s response was, a little bit. Carter says this is pissing him off. When they were first hanging out there was an issue with James. In her interview, Kristen says she’ll never live it down, and it will always be in the back of Carter’s mind. We flash back to when she claimed to have made out with James, and he said they had sex, just after she met Carter. She says she has no credibility, but she would never jeopardize her position with him. He tells her not to put herself in these positions; her track record doesn’t speak highly of her. He says he’s going to have a chat with Tom, and Kristen insists there’s no cheating going on.

Everyone is back at SUR, and I love Lisa’s blouse so much. It’s a white, button-down in a pirate/price style, and the sleeves are poufy on the bottom half. She asks Lala what happened to her lips, and if it’s permanent. Lala says, no. She sucks on a bottle cap to get the effect, but she did it for too long. She shows Lisa a picture of what she looked like before the swelling went down, and her lips are cartoonishly huge. It’s like when all the kids were trying to look like whatever Jenner/Kardasian that was. Lisa tells her it’s ridiculous. She asks how the trip was, and Lala says she had the best time. She tells Lisa that they went in on Jax at dinner because he’s an effing idiot. He wants to move Brittany to Florida to do social media for a hockey team. In her interview, Lisa says Jax talks a lot, and she doesn’t pay much attention. He also said he wanted to be a bartender, and he couldn’t do that either. Lala promises not to look like a duck when they open.

James sets up to DJ, and tells Raquel it feels good to be back. He’s nervous about tonight, wondering who’s coming to mess him up, considering what happened in Mexico. Now that he’s sobered up, he wouldn’t go near Kristen with a ten-foot pole. He got drunk, but he didn’t cheat. He does a sound check.

While driving to work, Brittany tells Jax she misses Mexico. He says they just have to pay for the trip now. She asks if he’s put any more thought into the Florida job. He says Kelsey told him not to think for two weeks. You’d think it wouldn’t be that hard for him not to think period, but he says it’s hard not to think about his dream job. Brittany hopes he’s including her in the thinking. He says it would be good for both of them. They’ll make more money, and the cost of living is lower. Brittany wants to make sure he’s thinking it through, and he says it’s a good opportunity. In her interview, Brittany says her close friends are there, and she has a great job. She’s comfortable there, and it’s unfair, considering the things she’s given up for him so far. He asks if Adam, her boyfriend, will be there tonight. Brittany laughs his remark off, saying Adam is a nice guy. Jax tells her there’s no such thing. In his interview, Jax says no matter how innocent, he doesn’t know what Adam is thinking, and he needs to know his role is twenty steps behind Jax. Brittany is like, Jax, please, but likes that he’s jealous.

Katie is waiting for Stassi, who’s planning a party for her. She took a break from her beauty blog to plan the wedding. She’s throwing a party to impress those seriously networked in beauty industry. Stassi arrives, and they make a list. Stassi asks if Katie has talked to Kristen. Schwartz forgot about that, and Stassi says it was made into a bigger deal than it should have been. Katie says it might not be true, but at the end of the day, who cares? Stassi says Kristen is trying so hard to disprove it, it’s looking true. In her interview, Stassi says if she caught Patrick with an ex in Mexico, she’d plan a murder for two years from now, so she didn’t get caught. She’d make an ice pick out of actual ice, stab them, and let it melt. No one would know how they were murdered, because there would be no weapon. That’s ingenious.

Scheana tells Lisa her divorce is final. Lisa asks if she’s marrying Rob, and Scheana says she hopes so. They’ve talked about it, and he likes Madison as a name for a girl. She says they’ve been looking at houses. Lisa tells her to take her time: she’s been divorced less than a week. In her interview, Lisa says Scheana should wait for the ink to be dry before picking out baby names. Maybe she should wait for Rob to be interested in getting married. Scheana tells her about the sort of set-up with Brittany and Adam, and how Jax is pissed. She admits she did it partly because he’d been talking about her and Rob. The one time Jax actually told the truth. It figures. In her interview, Lisa says Scheana is treading a dangerous line. Jax has no morals, but has a huge ego. This could go horribly wrong. Scheana says, mission accomplished.

SUR is packed. James spins his music. Lala says she got out early just for this. Jax says he had great time. Ariana says, her too. Jax wants to talk to Adam, and says he’ll be right back. In his interview, Tom says if someone was aggressively pursuing Ariana, he would confront them. Yeah, well, the key word there is aggressively. This guy doesn’t even seem like he’s pursuing her at all. Jax asks Adam how he is. In his interview, Jax wonders why he’s even there, since he’s not scheduled to work. Adam asks how the trip was, and Jax says, amazing. He says, so, he hears Adam has a crush on his girlfriend.

Adam says, not at all, and Jax doesn’t know what to do. He messes with the chair, trying to make it higher, and then decides to stand, no doubt psychologically making himself bigger. This is too funny. He says he’s not against Adam; he’s a nice guy. Scheana came in, thinking he and Brittany had broken up, and said Adam had a crush on her. That’s fine; he’s not mad, but wants Adam to understand they’re together. Adam says, that’s understood. Adam explains that one night when they were having a drink at Jax’s place, Scheana texted him about going out with them as a group. This gets Jax really steamed. In his interview, he says he had no idea Scheana was trying to hook Brittany up in his own house. He says he wishes Adam had pulled him aside. He tells Adam that he has a home; he has a family. He has dogs. I’m dying here. Not that I don’t think of my dogs as family – I’m the worst – but Jax. Omg. He says this isn’t a candy cane relationship. What? What does that mean? Is that what you have on winter break? He’s more mad at Scheana than Adam, and says Scheana is a shady-ass with no leg to stand on. It’s like the madder Jax gets, the less coherent he gets. He says Scheana is tailgating Rob. He wants to put a nail in his head when hears about him. Well, that we agree on. He says he’ll deal with it; it’s not Adam’s problem.

Things are rocking at SUR. Ariana gets on the bar and pours shots. She’s going to make a lot of money tonight, and plans on diving into a bed of it like Scrooge McDuck. Tom talks about how hot she is. Some of the girls are off the clock, and go to the bar. Jax tells Brittany that she needs to talk to Scheana, and tells her what Adam said. Brittany says she didn’t know about it, but Scheana was just trying to make her feel better. Jax asks if he’s supposed to be okay with that, and she says noting came from it. Brittany tells him to calm down. In her interview, she says Jax is spiraling out of control. Get out of the way. The Jax train coming. She tells him to talk to Scheana.

Ariana asks James where the pillows came from by the hot tub in Mexico. He says he was so drunk, he asked to sleep out there. We flash back to Jax telling Brittany to look at the pillow. James says he was the only on in the hot tub. Schwartz was talking, and Kristen was listening to music. In his interview, he says Jax knows this will take the weight from him. He says Jax threw him under bus, and took it too far.

Jax comes over, babbling to Scheana about Adam. He says she brought him into his home for a set-up. She says it wasn’t a set-up. He says she can’t keep a husband, and she’s going to tell him how to run his life. Scheana says she just wanted Brittany to get a confidence boost after it got knocked down. In her interview, she says she’s Brittany’s friend and has the right to set her up to have a good time, flirt, or whatever. Jax effed up. Britanny did not. Karma’s a bitch. Katie says Kristen isn’t the only person who needs to grow up, and tells him to shrug it off.

James accuses Jax of spreading the rumor about him and Kristen, and he did it about Faith. He says he didn’t, but Lala insists he did. Lisa and Ken come in. Jax calls Tom over. Lala suggests he not do this in front of Ken and Lisa. Lisa says it would be nice if he acknowledged her. In his interview, he says he’s sorry he didn’t roll out the red carpet. He tells Lisa that he’s tired of them flipping the effing script on him. He starts getting louder and weird, saying, eff you, all you lying sh*ts. Lala tells him that he puts his peepee in anything that walks, and he whines it’s not fair. In her interview, Lisa wonders why choose to have a meltdown in the place that’s paid your bills for so long? Jax starts giving the finger, calling everyone lying sacks of sh*t. Now he’s giving the finger with both hands. Lisa can’t believe it, and tells him she’s never had an employee speak to her the way he does, and this is her place of business. She says he’s being arrogant, obnoxious, and acting like a baby. She’s not listening to him, and tells him leave.

Tom tries to calm Jax down. Lisa has nothing more to say, and Brittany says you can’t be screaming at your job. Jax gets pissed at Tom, saying that he’s being buddy-buddy with James. He goes nuts, pulling his mic off, and saying he’s out of there, and that everyone is delusional. Tom asks if he’s not supposed to be James’s friend. Jax stalks off, banging the side of a phone booth as he stomps down the street. Wow. I hate Jax, but that was fun.

Next time, Katie’s blog party, Carter confronts Tom, and Jax tells Brittany that she deserves better. YOU DO! RUN! NOW!

🎭 Wow…

Well, those were two ends of the TV spectrum.