Category Archives: Lisa Vanderpump

January 22, 2017 – A Disagreement Between Sonny and Anna, Pride Day at SUR, Summer House Returns & It’s Suppertime

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Jason ponders on the footbridge, and flashes back to New Year’s Eve with Sam.

Sam looks out on her balcony, and flashes back to talking to Jason on the docks, and telling him that she loves Drew. Molly and Alexis arrive. Alexis asks if she’s ready to get married.

Curtis and Jordan join Drew. Curtis says the justice of the peace should be there soon, and to enjoy his last single moments. He’s getting ready to be married for real this time.

Carly tells Bobbie that she should have given Josslyn more credit. Bobbie says sometimes it feels good to be wrong. Carly is relieved about Josslyn, but says too bad she can’t say the same for Michael.

Michael meets Nelle at the hospital, but missed the prenatal appointment, but Nelle shows him the sonogram; the first picture of their baby.

Sonny tells Anna that Faison knows Heinrich is gunning for him. They have to use Heinrich as bait. Anna says they can’t exploit him like that. if Sonny orchestrates a meeting, he’ll start a war, and they don’t know who will get caught in the crossfire.

Faison caresses an unconscious Obrecht’s face.

At the MetroCourt, Laura wants to talk to Lulu. Lulu thinks Laura wants her to take a step back from reporting, and reevaluate things, but Laura knows better than to try talking her out of something she wants to do. Saving the world is genetic. Ned approaches their table, and apologizes to Laura about how quickly the race got nasty; it wasn’t his intention. He says his problem is with Julian, not her or Alexis. He guarantees a clean, fair fight, and a race they can be proud of.  Laura tells him that he didn’t have to apologize. She appreciates the gesture, but it’s wasted on her. She’s dropping out of the race.

Anna says Faison wouldn’t hesitate to kill his own son, and Sonny tells her that she says that like it’s a problem. Anna says they don’t know him; he could be an innocent, which would explain why he allowed Jason to live. Sonny says he paid several thugs to bring him back to Russia, and along the way, they shot up the MetroCourt and took Sam hostage. He asks if that sounds innocent. Anna says if he died, any chance of Jason’s questions being answered or Drew getting his memory back will be over.

Drew tells Curtis he doesn’t think they can squeeze in a bachelor party. Curtis says it’s tradition for the groomsmen and groom to share a drink before the ceremony, and pulls out a bottle. Monica arrives.

Spinelli finds Jason. He says there’s still time. Sam is marrying Drew, and he has to stop it.

Jordan gets a work call, and it’s something she has to check on personally. She tells Drew sorry, congratulations, and give Sam her best. Drew tells Monica that he appreciates her being there; it means a lot that’s she’s stood by him. She says she wouldn’t miss it. He’s Alan’s son, and she wishes she’d known him and raised him like she did Jason, but since that didn’t happen, she’d like to adopt him. He laughs, and says they missed that boat. She says it’s just a formality, but makes him and Scout legally part of the family. They may not know the next chapter, but he’ll always be part of the Quartermaines. Monica is looking really good. For a while, she had too many fillers in her face going on, but whatever she’s doing now, keep doing it.

Nelle tells Michael that they have a beautiful, healthy baby. Michael asks if she knows if it’s a boy or girl, but she says she wanted them to find out together. He says it’s her body, but she tells him it’s their baby, and she wants him to be involved in every step of process. She says the baby’s heartbeat was loud and strong. He can hear it at the next appointment. Carly and Bobbie join them.

Anna tells Sonny that she doesn’t think there’s a reason to involve Heinrich. She knows how to bring Faison out in the open. He’s obsessed with her, and it clouds his judgement and allows her to control things. It would also help if she had no surprises. With that in mind, has Sonny made contact? Sonny says he has the email address for PK Sinclair. If that’s Heinrich, then yes. He shows her the email exchange, and she tells him if PK emails again, don’t respond. Call her and they’ll figure out a plan. He says he doesn’t think he can do that.

Spinelli says Jason might still make it, but Jason says he’s not interrupting the wedding. Sam wants this, and loves Drew. Spinelli asks if he’s told her that he loves her, but he says that would make it hard on her. Spinelli says it would take an act of tremendous courage, but even if he doesn’t do it for himself, he needs to save Sam from making a mistake that will only bring her grief.

Curtis brings in the justice of the peace. The wedding begins. Molly walks in first, followed by Sam, wearing a white, cocktail length, lacy confection. Danny is the ringbearer. They stand before the officiant.

Anna tells Sonny it’s not a suggestion. Sonny doesn’t want trouble with her. She might be cop, but she’s Robin’s mother. She’s brave and honorable, and doesn’t deserve the hell Faison put her through. If he could back away, he would, but if Heinrich is his best shot, he’s taking it. If he calls, Sonny is using him, with or without her permission. She says she’ll see herself out. Outside, she calls Robert, telling him that she needs him to intercept some email messages, and divert them to her account. She tells him to make sure there’s no trace of the original address.

Carly asks why Michael and Nelle are at the hospital, since she’s too stupid to guess. Nelle says it was her first ultrasound, and gives her the picture. Michael says there’s no question he’s the father. Carly says she’s happy for him. Bobbie wants to look at the paternity test results, and Nelle tells her to get them from Michael, since she had them sent directly to his office. She adds that the baby is healthy, thanks for asking. She leaves, and Michael thanks them for being mostly civil. Bobbie thought they did pretty well. Carly says this is real and happening, and she supports him and the baby. They hug, and Michael goes to work or whatever he does.

Ned is surprised Laura is dropping out. Lulu says she had it in the bag, no offense to Ned. Laura says her family has to take precedence. Spencer had bad skiing accident in France, breaking both legs, and she has to go. She has the time and means right now, and hopes Lulu understands. She does, but she’s disappointed; she knows the campaign was important. Laura says it still is. Ned tells her that he’s sorry to see her go; she was a formidable candidate. He didn’t expect to win on a technicality, but she says he didn’t win anything yet. She wants to discuss terms; what he’s going to promise her in exchange for her endorsement.

Spinelli says Jason would take any risk or suffer any injury to save Sam. Jason says she doesn’t need saving. Spinelli says he watched her at the police station when their identities were sorted out. She knew all along, but pretended to believe Drew was Jason because he believed it. She lied for his benefit, and Spinelli thinks that’s why she’s marrying him. She’s sacrificing her happiness because of misguided loyalty. The same thing he’s doing now.

The couple has prepared their own vows. Drew tells Sam that people say their lives didn’t start until they met the person they’re going to live their life with, but with him, it’s literal. So much wasn’t true, but she gave him what was – love. He might have no past, but he’s thankful for his future with her. He takes the ring from Danny, and promises to love, honor, and cherish her until death and beyond, if that’s possible. Sam says when she was thinking about the vows, she kept thinking how much has changed in past couple of months. She realized the important things that last and matter stayed the same. She still loves and adores him. They share an incredible bond, and had the chance to make an amazing family. She has a life with him, but never expected it to be richer and fuller than she could imagine. It’s a life she wants to continue to share with him, always. She takes the ring, and promises to love, honor, and cherish him to death and beyond. They do the I dos. Do-be-do-be-do. The officiant pronounces them husband and wife. They kiss, and everyone applauds.

Anna goes home, and finds her door open. She draws her gun. She calls for Obrecht, but finds Jordan, her gun also drawn.

Obrecht is lying on some straw, and I wonder where there’s a barn in Port Charles.

Laura tells Ned that he’s going to need more than the backing of his supporters; he needs her support, but it will cost him. Ned says, hypothetically speaking, what would be the cost? She tells him that she wants tight limits on the redevelopment, but he says it’s up to the voters to decide. She wants him to designate the pre-war buildings to be left alone, and she’ll give her endorsement. He says he can give suggestions, but can’t make it happen. If he made that promise now, it would be in bad faith. Laura appreciates his candor. He says she was a worthy opponent. And would have made a fine mayor. They shake hands. When Ned leaves, Lulu says they lost.

Spinelli tells Jason that he was the first person, maybe the only person, who treated Sam with respect as a person in her own right. Because of that, she learned to respect and know herself. That’s not the case with Drew. They don’t know who he would have been if he’d been left in his own life. He doesn’t know himself, and can’t give of himself or give her that support. Jason says he’s making assumptions, but Spinelli says he saw him at the station, seemingly expecting Sam to fill his needs, giving little thought to what she needed. Jason says he doesn’t break the law or put lives at risk. Jason is true to himself, and out of that truth, can give Sam the love she needs. She made a wrong choice for the wrong reasons. Jason tells him to stop. He’s heard him, and it’s appreciated, but he has to leave Sam alone. Spinelli says that Sam told him in the early says, she had an unfamiliar feeling with him; one she liked, but couldn’t place. Then she realized he made her feel safe.

Curtis toasts to the bride and groom, saying may their joy outweigh their sorrow, and their good days outweigh the bad. May they rest easy in each other’s arms tonight, and all the days to come. Danny also makes a toast, saying, mommy and daddy, happy wedding! Sam smears Drew’s face with cake, and says gotcha.

Michael drops by Sonny’s. He tells Sonny about the paternity test, and that he’s definitely the father. Sonny asks how he feels, and Michael says he’s trying to wrap his head around the fact that he and Nelle will be connected by the baby. Sonny tells him to remember the baby comes first. Michael is concerned about it being a wedge. Nelle started out plotting against the family, and now she’s carrying their grandchild; he doesn’t want a rift. Sonny tells him to always trust that he’ll never lose Sonny’s love. He’s Michael’s father, and loves him unconditionally, and knows he’ll love the baby the same way.

At the MetroCourt, Bobbie asks how Carly is holding up, and Carly says, just dandy. She doesn’t know how she feels about Michael being a father, and her a grandmother. How is she supposed to be happy with Nelle in their lives? They see Nelle, and Carly tells her that was quite a performance at the hospital; now they get the encore at the MetroCourt. Nelle says she has no idea what Carly is talking about. Carly says Nell and her son are connected by the baby, but that’s where it begins and ends. If she’s thinking of going further, don’t. Nelle says how Michael feels is up to him. Monica arrives, and Nelle says she’s meeting her for dinner. Carly makes faces, and Monica asks if she has a problem with that. Nelle hopes she didn’t pull Monica away, but Monica says it was a small wedding, and Drew and Sam would rather get going. Carly is surprised that they’re married. Nelle says she’ll get a table. Bobbie tells Monica to be careful. Monica says regardless of the past, Nelle is carrying their great-grandchild, and they should try to get along. Bobbie says she’s doing so at her own risk. Carly tells her that Nelle will soon show her true colors.

Jordan says a neighbor called, thinking something was going on at Anna’s place. It’s been fully swept, and everything is fine. Anna tells her about Obrecht showing up drunk, and thinks that’s probably what the neighbor heard or saw. She tells Jordan that she looks great, and Jordan explains that she was Curtis’s plus one for the wedding. Anna can make it up to her by explaining why Obrecht was drunk, and asks if it’s about Faison. Anna says it’s nothing, and Jordan tells her to promise to call if she needs help. Anna thanks Jordan for checking on her, even though she didn’t have to. Jordan says surely Anna knows her by now.

Obrecht’s phone rings. Faison picks it up. We’re still not actually seeing him; just his hands or the back of his head.

Anna leaves a message on Obrecht’s phone, saying she shouldn’t have left. Anna needs to know if she’s okay, and asks her to call back. Anna gets a text, saying, I’m fine. Anna texts back that they aren’t finished, and the return text says, don’t worry, Anna. I’ll be seeing you soon.

We see the phone in Faison’s hand. Obrecht starts to wake up. She wonders what happened. She looks up, and gasps.

Michael is surprised at how well Sonny is handing it. Sonny says he has no use for Nelle, but has faith in Michael. Michael asks, even after he got involved with Nelle? Sonny says she took advantage of his good nature, but the baby is innocent. No matter what happens, Sonny is behind him, and will support whatever decision he makes.

Bobbie tells Carly to let it go. Monica is Michael’s grandmother, and gets to decide how to deal with Nelle. She thinks it’s a mistake, but it’s her mistake to make. Bobbie goes to get a table. Carly says Michael can do whatever wants, but that doesn’t mean she can’t talk him out of it. She makes a call, telling someone she needs to talk about Nelle Benson.

Laura asks to talk to Alexis. Alexis is sorry she dropped out of the race, but understands that family comes first. She’s bummed about Ned running unopposed. Laura doesn’t think it will be that smooth for him, and Alexis says it sounds like she has a replacement. Laura says she does, and she’s perfect. Alexis asks who the lucky candidate is, and Laura says, you.

Drew and Sam bask in the afterglow. He says he’s excited, and can’t wait to see what the future holds.

Still on the footbridge, Jason remembers when we were all children. Sam says he’s a good friend, and she wishes she was a better friend to him. She’s figured out why she sleeps better when she with him. He makes her feel safe.

Tomorrow, Jordan says she’s going to come down like a ton of bricks, Lulu make a pitch to Peter, and HE’S BACK!!!

Vanderpump Rules

Lisa arrives at SUR where the Pride Day party is being organized. Stassi is in charge of dressing the staff. She jokes that she shouldn’t have a problem getting the staff’s respect, considering she was the drunk girl stealing goat cheese balls off passing trays not long ago.

The guys go to a Reiki session. Peter is a regular; he has all his chakras together. Jax thought they were going to push pebbles around with a rake, but instead is subject to some meditation. It’s probably not hard for him to empty his mind. After the meditation, instructor Kelsey asks where everyone is at. Schwartz says he’s been drinking too much, Peter feels like he’s doing too much, and Tom thinks he’s stagnant. Jax tears up, and tells everyone about screwing up his relationship with Brittany. In his interview, he says no one has asked how he’s doing in all this, and I break out my violin. Kelsey gives him some attention and a hug, and Tom gives a voice to my thoughts when he says it wouldn’t be surprising if Jax ended up trying to sleep with her. I just don’t get what any woman sees in him. And he’s not that good looking. He’s no Brad Pitt. He’s not even Charles Bronson – two ends of the handsome spectrum.

The girls go to a spa or plastic surgeon or wherever you get Botox, and talk while they fill out paperwork. Lala says she’s having lunch with Katie. She likes Katie, and wonders if Scheana’s relationship is really talked about as much as she claims it is. Ariana thinks Scheana’s insecurities are getting the best of her, and everyone should mind their own business. Scheana brings up the Rob rumor. She says he laughed about it, but feels him pulling away.

In her interview, Stassi says it’s fun to have a girls’ night where everyone dresses up. The girls, minus Scheana, go to an outdoor bar. They discuss Scheana’s reaction to Rob making out with someone else. Brittany says she tried to explain that Katie just didn’t just make it up. The waiter knows the area where Brittany is from, and flirts with her. Kristen is glad she’s getting her mojo back. Katie asks how she’s doing. Brittany says she’s decided to work it out with Jax. I can’t take it. Stassi tells her that Jax will say he’s going to get help, and then be the same. He’s doing the bare minimum to keep her. She tells Brittany that he’s never once broken up with a girl in his entire life.

Lala, James, and Logan go out for drinks. James orders a double shot of bourbon, and toasts to getting drunk. My stomach turns when he chases the bourbon with maple syrup. In his interview, he explains that he’s curbing his drinking, but occasionally something comes over him. However, he can stop any time. Raquel is moving in, and we see a clip of James clearing out a whole drawer for her. Things start to get dicey when Lala tells them about asking for a bite of Raquel’s pasta at James’s event, then eating all of it. James calls her bitch, surprising all of us. James gets crazy, and tells her not to eff with his bitch. He follows that gem with saying Lala’s boyfriend will get bored soon, and be done with her, going on to next pretty blonde. In her interview, Lala says he turns into a werewolf when he drinks. Lala tells him to learn his place, and know how to talk to someone when they’re a friend. She stomps out, and Logan tells James to go after her. Outside, she asks wtf is wrong with him? It was a joke, and he should know who has his back. He says it’s not about the pasta, and repeats that several times. In his interview, he says it’s about respect for his girlfriend. Lala tells him to get out of her face. He wants to talk later, but she tells him to get lost.

Scheana asks the girls if they were talking about her last night. A friend of her mom’s was at the same restaurant, and heard her name. What are the odds of that? Brittany says Katie believes Scheana thinks she started the rumor. Scheana says Rob doesn’t need this. He’s too busy to deal with their BS. Brittany says Katie didn’t make it up, but Scheana insists she added to it. Brittany wonders why she’s getting so mad if it isn’t true.

Tom and Schwartz go to the restaurant site. It’s still a huge mess. Tom says they’re holding up their end of the bargain with sweat equity, and getting down and dirty. In his interview, Schwartz says Katie made him promise not to drink, do shots or have guys’ night. He did all three at once, but he came home to a loving reception, and it caught him off guard. He thinks he was subconsciously testing her to see how she’d react. Tom has to show him how use a protective mask. Schwartz says he’s not an engineer.

Katie shows the girls a picture that Tom sent of Schwartz sleeping on his couch. In her interview, she says a year ago, she would have rage texted and insulted his penis, but today, they’re talking it out. Marriage is good for them. She told him that she doesn’t like waking up alone. She tells them that Schwartz said he was falling in love with her all over again. Everyone goes, aww!

Lisa and Ken show up at the site. Schwartz is happy to be doing something, not just talking about it. Lisa asks if he and Katie are okay. Tom says Schwartz slept at his house, but that happens sometimes. Lisa tells Schwartz they’re going to sit down and go over his marriage vows. He says they’re right here, pointing to his heart. He tells Lisa that he wants to hug her, and she tells him to get away. In her interview, she tells us that he’s too old for puppy dog antics. Schwartz is married now, and needs to handle his responsibilities.

Kristen talked to Brittany’s mom, and wants to surprise her with a visit. Brittany has been crying that she wants her mother, so Kristen is flying Sherri out to LA. If she can’t talk sense into Brittany about breaking up with Jax, no one can.

It’s Pride Day, which can’t exist without Lisa, who is wearing pink from head to toe, including a humongous pink hat with big flowers. Rob comes by SUR. Scheana tells him she’s lost her smile. He says that life is hard enough, and she needs good people in it. In her interview, Scheana says if loses him because of what they said, there’s going to be a problem. She tells Rob that she loves him, but we don’t hear him say it back. I don’t know if that’s because he doesn’t, or it’s edited that way. I’m on to Bravo about that.

Stassi dresses Brittany in a flower child outfit. She looks really cute. Lisa sees Lala on the street in a sort of Wonder Woman getup. She tells Lisa about her fight with James. In her interview, Lala says if James doesn’t kiss her ass and apologize a million times, she’ll have no choice but to move on. Lisa says he’s lucky she wasn’t there or she would have boxed his ears, and he has ears to box. Ha-ha-ha-ha! He does have big ears.

Stassi dresses the other girls. She tells Jax if he doesn’t paint his face, she’ll put him in a flower crown, but he’s not into dressing up. Stassi thinks hitting her stride; everyone looks hot. Scheana tells Lala about Rob coming by SUR, and that he was sweet, acting like it doesn’t bother him, but it’s affecting her. Lala tells her to ignore it. In her interview, Lala says Scheana strives for perfection. She’s lost weight because she’s not eating; it’s obvious she’s stressed. Lala tells her to let the girls talk.

Pride is in full swing, and SUR is crowded already. Lisa thanks Tom for being festive. Jax insists he’s festive enough in a black T-shirt. Lisa introduces Billie, SUR’s trans hostess, to the crowd. Lisa supports her and applauds her journey. Billie talks about how supportive Lisa has been in giving her a job and accepting her. In his interview, Jax tells us that he had no idea Billie was trans when he met her. Whatever she had done, she got money’s worth. Billie tells him that she likes his vibe, and thinks he has his own sh*t to go through. I highly doubt their stories are the same, but I’m guessing everyone is drunk at this point. Lisa tells Stassi, good job. Schwartz motorboats Katie. In her interview, Katie says that she’s working on being more easy-going, and Schwartz Is working on not blacking out. It’s progress.

James hugs Logan and Jax. Jax doesn’t know what going on, and says it’s weird. In his interview, James says Logan and Raquel fill different voids in his life. Raquel is his emotional connection, and Logan is his party side. They drink doing that hooking arms thing. Scheana joins them. James says he’s never losing Logan as a friend. They love each other as best friends. Logan says more. It’s a deep relationship, and he looks out for James. Raquel says something is going on.

Brittany says she’s the opposite of Scheana, and eats when she’s stressed. Lisa sits down with Scheana. In her interview, Lisa says she knows Scheana well, and is seeing a fragility about her. She asks what’s going on. Scheana says she feels physically ill. She’s let Katie, Kristen, and Stassi affect her relationship, and she’s better when she’s not around them. She tells Lisa that they said something that wasn’t true, and starts to cry. She says it’s the happiest she’s ever been, and wonders why they want to bring her down. She wails that they’ve been perfect. Lisa reminds her about how she said things were fine with Shay. We flash back to Scheana telling Lisa that her relationship with Shay is amazing. Lisa tells her even if it doesn’t work out, it’s not the end of the world. Scheana says they’re meant to be together. Lisa tells her to eat something and pull herself together. Lisa goes to the kitchen, and grabs a plate of food, like the mom she is. She plops it in front of Scheana, telling her she looks like a nervous kitten, and she won’t have it. In her interview, Scheana says it’s refreshing to have a boss like Lisa, who is also a friend. I’d never say Lisa isn’t the best boss ever, but it’s not like Scheana has had a lot of jobs. Katie is wondering who took the plate of food she ordered for a customer. That would be the one in front of Scheana.

Rob arrives at SUR. Scheana says she can’t let them affect her life and relationship. It’s all good now, and she just wants to eat a sandwich. She has her smile back.

Brittany counts her tips. She made $576, which she informs Jax was hard work. Good for her. I can’t imagine doing her job. Jax tells her how pretty she looks and that he got compliments on her behalf. In her interview, she says he thinks he’s a charmer. She loves him, even though he’s a dummy.

Meanwhile, at PUMP, James asks if Lala a still mad at him. She says he’s one of her dearest friends, but his behavior is unacceptable. She tells him not to mention her name unless it’s something positive. She trusted him, and needs to feel safe. He apologizes, saying sometimes he’s an idiot and effed up. In his interview, he says he has a lot of acquaintances, but few friends. When things get complicated, he needs to straighten it out right away.

Kristen and Katie come by Brittany and Jax’s apartment. In her interview, Kristen says Brittany is the best thing to happen to the group, and she refuses to watch Jax bring her down. Brittany’s mom walks in. Jax looks like he’s going to have a heart attack. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Next time, Sherri talks to Lisa, Sherri talks to Jax, Lala talks to Katie about Scheana, and Schwartz calls Scheana the fakest faker ever.

🏊 Summer House is back, and still just as stupid. Like a slightly older version of The Real World, a bunch of boring friends rent a house in the Hamptons that I would kill for, and proceed to spend the summer in a blackout. It didn’t take long before the arguments started, although there was a nice diversion when a couple of cast members decided to head back to NYC for the Gay Pride Parade. I assume this was filmed around the same time as Vanderpump Rules, but too bad Lisa wasn’t attending this one. Maybe she could whip these kids into interesting. If I had a fabulous house in the Hamptons, it’s not likely I would rent it to a bunch of drunken morons. I’ve also never had the desire to spend an entire summer with a bunch of other people in one house, but if I did, I guarantee they would be more intriguing and dimensional than this group

🍆 I discovered a cooking show that premiered in November, but is new to me, and it looks like a lot of fun. It’s Suppertime with Matty Matheson airs Tuesdays at 6, 6:30, and 7 pm on Viceland. You can read more about Matty, “the John Belushi of the Toronto food scene,” here:

https://torontolife.com/food/chef-matty-matheson-vice-canada-parts-and-labour-dead-set-on-life/

MattyMatheson

Matty Matheson

 

January 16, 2017 – Josslyn Gets The Talk, Candace Turns Oscar Down, Dorit is Late & Some Fluff

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Josslyn says Carly sounds serious; it must be major. Carly says it is.

Kim tells Oscar that they have to talk.

Michael shows up at the gallery, saying Nelle didn’t need to have the lab results sent to his office. She wanted to make sure he knew they were real, and he says he thought she might want to be there when they were opened. Nelle tells him she already knows what it says, but wouldn’t mind seeing the look on his face when he sees he’s the baby’s father.

At the hospital, Griff asks Ava how it went. She says she has the all clear. In a few hours, her scars, and all the ugliness they represent, will be a bad memory.

Jake visits Drew at the office. He needs to ask a question. It’s Father/Son Day at school next week, and Jake needs him to be there.

Jason and Sonny look at PK Sinclair’s last email. You referred to the sequel. Clearly you haven’t read the ending. Jason says it ends with the son killing the father. Sonny says PK wants to kill Faison.

Carly tells Josslyn that seeing her in the cocktail dress scared her. She looked beautiful and grown up. It’s fun to try on being adult, but she’s fourteen and just discovering who she is. The next few years are pivotal, and Carly doesn’t want her to slingshot to the end. When she tells Josslyn she wants her to slow down, it’s because she wants her to experience all of it. She wants Josslyn to get to know herself and who she is, so she can make big decisions from a place of self-control and responsibility, not because she’s being pressured. Josslyn asks if this is “the talk.”

Oscar can’t believe Kim is doing this in public, but she says she didn’t bring her megaphone. She thinks he needs a refresher course, and asks why is he pretending that what’s happening, isn’t? He asks what she’s talking about, and she asks why Josslyn has condoms. He says it has nothing to do with either of them. Josslyn is holding them for a friend (yeah, I used that one too). Trina is afraid her mom will find them. Kim says they shouldn’t do it, and he says they’re not doing it. She tells him, good, because fourteen is too young.

Nelle tells Michael she would say congratulations, but isn’t sure it’s something he wants to celebrate. He’s glad he knows truth, and she asks if he thought it would say something else. He says, no. His gut told him that it was his baby. Nelle says, so it’s just for his parents. She says Carly is going to hate it, but Michael says all that matters is the baby. Whatever they can do to raise a healthy, happy child, sign him up. She asks what he’s doing next Monday.

Ava tells Kiki that she can’t thank her enough; she doesn’t deserve it. Kiki wants her to feel whole, but tells her to be careful. She doesn’t want Ava to think because her face is fixed, everything else is fine. She needs to figure out what’s going on inside. Ava says she might be pleasantly surprised. Once this horrific chapter is behind her, the rest will fall into place.

Drew tells Jake it must be important. Jake says they eat doughnuts with their dads, show them around the classroom, and do a cool science project together. Drew says if Jake wants him there, he’s there. Elizabeth comes in, and Jake asks if he’s in trouble. Elizabeth says it depends on why he’s there, and Jake says he wanted to tell Drew about Father/Son Day. Elizabeth says she would have brought him, but Jake says he thought maybe she would want him to take the other guy.

Jason tells Sonny there was a backer who Andre never saw. Faison is their best guess, and they have reason to believe the traitor is his son. Jason wants Faison, and wants to know why he did the switch. Sonny says they’re going to figure it out, and use his son to do it

Josslyn says this is coming out of nowhere, and Carly says that’s how she felt when the condoms fell out of Josslyn’s backpack, and no, she wasn’t snooping. Josslyn says she was holding them for a friend, and Carly says that’s the oldest excuse in the book. Josslyn tells her that Trina is seeing a junior, and was afraid her mom would find them. Carly says, thank God; she’s too young. Trina is too young too, but Trina isn’t her daughter. She’s not doing it, is she? Josslyn says no, and Carly asks if they’ve talked about it. Josslyn says, not once. Carly thinks the universe is trying to tell her something, and asks Josslyn to have a seat.

Kim tells Oscar when she heard about the condoms, she was actually happy that at least what she’d told him had sunk in. Oscar says they haven’t even talked about it. Kim tells him if and when they decide, it’s really important that they’re both on the same page, they both feel the same, and want the same things. As much as people say it’s not a big deal, it is. Oscar keeps rubbing his arm, and Kim asks what’s up with that? He tells her that Drew was teaching him some boxing moves and strategies, and it was really cool. Kim says she’s glad they talked, grabs her stuff, and jets, leaving both Oscar and I puzzled.

Nelle tells Michael that maybe he wants to come to her next prenatal visit. She’s having a sonogram, and he can see the baby. She says it’s really cool to listen to its heartbeat; it sounds like a horse galloping. She tells him that Kim thinks it’s important to have the father involved for bonding, but he doesn’t have to be. Michael says he wants to be, and plans to be as involved as he can. The paternity test isn’t the only reason he came to the gallery though. He thinks Ava has an ulterior motive, and that she’s setting Nelle up.

Griff asks if Ava is nervous, but she says she’s energized. She has to run by the gallery to check on an important client. She calls him a guardian angel, and says he saved her.

Jake tells Elizabeth it’s not that doesn’t like Jason; he doesn’t know him. Elizabeth understands, and asks if he feels pressured about having a relationship with Jason. He says no, but she talks about him a lot, and he thought she’d want him to take Jason to the Father/Son Day. She says no one expects that of him; not until he’s ready. He asks, what if he’s never ready, and she says it would be a shame. Jason is a great dad, and he’s lucky to have two amazing fathers. Jake says Jason is a stranger. Elizabeth agrees, but says he didn’t go away because wanted to. He was taken, like Helena took Jake; taken away from everyone he loved and what belonged to him. The cool part is that he didn’t try to grab everything back even though he could have. He respects everyone’s feelings, and loves Jake and Danny. She’s not saying how he should feel, but thinks it’s important that he knows Jason only wants what’s best for him. He’s Jake’s biological father, and she hopes one day when he’s ready, Jake gets to know him.

Sonny tells Jason when he finds Faison, he’s not going to question him; he’s going to kill him. Jason wants answers. Sonny thinks he knows. Obrecht said Faison was looking for an enforcer. It was impossible to have Jason, so he turned him into Drew. Jason wonders if it could be that simple. Sonny says that Jason eliminates quickly and cleanly, and does whatever Sonny asks him to. Who wouldn’t want that? Jason has to hear it from Faison. Sonny says he might be able to, once they smoke him out. Jason asks what Sonny has in mind?

Carly asks Josslyn if other kids are talking about it, and she says, some. Carly asks if they’re doing it or just talking, and Josslyn says, both. Carly suggests she take what she hears with a grain of salt. Kids think sex will make them grow up, and they pretend to do it or actually do before they’re ready. She asks if Trina’s boyfriend is pressuring her. Josslyn doesn’t think so. Trina seems to be into it, and says it’s no big deal. Carly says it is a big deal. It’s intimate and personal, and there’s only once chance for the first time, so it should be memorable. She and Oscar aren’t ready. Josslyn says she seems to be forgetting they’re not having sex. Carly wishes she had waited, and could look back and smile, but she can’t. Her first time was with an older man who didn’t really care about her. Josslyn asks why she did it, and Carly says she wanted to be a woman and make own choices. At the time, it was the biggest choice she could make, but it didn’t make her feel older or cooler, it just complicated things. She wants Josslyn to have a different experience, when she’s older and emotionally ready. She wants Josslyn to be with someone she trusts and feels safe with, in a loving environment, so it can be something she’ll look back on and smile.

Michael tells Nelle that Ava is a liar at best, and a murderer at worst. Nelle says she was the only one who would give her job, and she’s been nothing but kind. Michael says she wants something. He doesn’t know what, but when people get close to her, they get hurt. Nelle thanks him for the warning, but when it comes to Ava, her eyes are wide open. Funny. That’s what Michael told Carly about Nelle.

Griff tells Ava she’ll have confidence of who she is at her core. She dances into her surgery appointment.

Drew loves Jake, and loves being his dad, but Jake owes it to himself to get to know his biological father. Jake asks if it won’t upset Drew, but Drew says Jason is just another person to love him, and that’s a good thing. Jake asks if he’ll still see Drew, and Drew says Jake will get sick of him. Jake says never. Drew says Jake’s mom is right. He knows Jason does the right thing, and that makes him a good guy, but he’s missing out because he has no Jake in his life.

Jason writes an email to PK Sinclair: I can help you get the ending you want. He says, now we wait. Michael calls Jason asking him to meet at Kelly’s. Sonny says he’s going to call Spinelli and have him link the email accounts. Jason leaves, and Sonny says, PK Sinclair, come out, come out, wherever you are.

Carly wonders why Josslyn was telling Oscar that something was going to blow his mind. Josslyn realizes she thought they were talking about sex, and tells her she was clearly wrong. There are new attire guidelines for the dance, and one prohibits kids not dressing according to their gender. There’s one kid who identifies as female, and is being forced to wear a guy’s clothing. Carly thinks it’s awful, and Josslyn says it’s kind of her fault. Her friend has been bullied, so they complained, but instead of punishing the bullies, they’re punishing her with stupid rules. Carly says, good for her, sticking up for her friend, but Josslyn says she’s not done. They decide to throw an alternative dance – come as you are, wear and be want you want. They planned it the same night as the school dance, hoping for a boycott, but it could be grounds for suspension. It’s not ideal, but she’s committed to seeing it through. Carly says she should. Caring for people and doing what feels right is important, and Carly is proud of her.

Griff runs into Kiki, who wonders how is it she never sleeps, but can’t manage to talk to Dillon. He hopes he didn’t make her feel uncomfortable, and Kiki says no. Her mom is way off base. He asks how things are with her and Ava. She says it’s not the first time Ava has hurt her, and it won’t be the last.

Kim bursts into Drew’s office, saying she didn’t raise her son to be soldier. He’s teaching him boxing. What next? Target practice or ROTC? She tells him not to turn Oscar into something he’s not. Drew says, fair enough, but he’s no longer in the Navy. This is what he does now. He doesn’t remember being a SEAL, and is pretty sure he was never a recruiter. He’s not trying to get her son to do anything. Kim apologizes, and says he did nothing wrong.

Michael tells Jason about the paternity results. He’s a father. He’s never been so terrified and excited at the same time. Jason says welcome to parenthood. Michael says he got involved with an unstable woman, and now they’re having a baby. He’s taking responsibility, but what if the baby isn’t okay? Jason says it will be; it will have him.

Sonny tells Carly it’s early for wine, but she says not after the conversation she just had with Josslyn. He asks if she wants to talk about it, and she says not really. Sonny tells her she’s taught Josslyn by example to be strong, confident, and demand respect; sometimes too confident. Carly wonders if they’ll survive the teenage or will it kill her? Sonny says not if he can help it.

Josslyn joins Oscar back at Kelly’s. He asks what was up with her mom, and she says, awkward mom stuff. He knows.

Kim tells Drew she’s been having this conversation for fifteen years, and Drew says, now he suddenly shows up. She says her son was never aggressive, now he’s boxing. Drew explains that Oscar asked him. Apparently, a friend is getting bullied, and he wanted to defend them if necessary. Kim wonders if Oscar was really talking about himself, but Drew says he believes it. Kim says Oscar is a terrible liar, so he’s probably telling the truth. She apologizes for overreacting, saying she barged in and practically accused him of pumping Oscar full of steroids, when Oscar came to him. Drew says it shows he’s a good kid; she’s raising him well.

Ava goes to gallery. Nelle thought she’d be prepping for surgery, and Ava says she’s on her way. She asks about a painting, and Nelle gives her the receipt. Ava says maybe she’s catching on, but asks if that’s the only thing making her smile. She says that, and Michael was there. it went really well, and she might be on her way to being friends with him again. If she plays her cards right, maybe more than that eventually.

Jason tells Michael that he was the first baby he remembers holding. He had no idea, and knew nothing about kids. Michael says he got on the job training, and Jason says Michael taught him how to be father. Michael taught him how to open his heart up to another human being, and he learned to love someone else more than himself. Michael says there’s so much at stake. What if he messes up? Jason says he won’t. He has great instincts. No matter who the mom is, the baby has a right to everything good, and he knows Michael will do that. Michael says his life is going to majorly change, and Jason says, in the best way. There are one and a million amazing things he’ll see; the first times – a smile, words, the first everything, and he’ll be there. Michael says it’s a gift, but terrifying. Jason says he’s happy for him, and happier for the baby. The baby could do worse for a father. Michael says he’s got this. They hug.

Kiki says Ava is lucky to have Griff, but he says he’s the lucky one. The road might be longer and rougher, but he believes today will be a turning point.

Ava tells Nelle it means zip with that family. They forget nothing, and don’t forgive. The Corinthos family has closed their ranks forever to her. Nelle asks what she should do, and Ava tells her to cut her losses, and move on to a new Prince Charming. Anything else is an exercise in futility. Nelle says she’s probably right. The hormones are making her sentimental. Ava tells her to hold down the fort.

Kim tells Drew it will take time; it’s been just them for so long. Drew promises he won’t overstep or try to be an insta-dad if Oscar comes to him. Kim thanks him.

Jason tells Michael to practice deep breathing; he’ll learn as he goes. Michael asks, what about Nelle, and Jason says that’s not his problem. Michael and Jason part company.

Nelle tells the baby not to listen to Ava. Daddy is the only Prince Charming she wants.

Elizabeth takes Jake to Kelly’s. He sees Jason through the window. Jake hesitantly waves. Jason waves back.

Sonny gets a message from PK Sinclair saying they should meet. Jason comes back, and he says Sinclair took the bait; he wants to meet. Is Jason ready? He’s ready.

Tomorrow, Ava is ready to be a new woman, Scotty toasts to Ava, and Ava sees Morgan.

The Haves and the Have Nots

Veronica starts screaming that she smells gas. Melissa tells her to keep screaming. She wanted to take the scenic route, and no one can hear her. She didn’t care that Melissa’s father died, and now it’s her turn. Jeffrey is going to dance on her grave. Veronica keeps calling for help, but Melissa refuses to do anything. She’s going to sit there and wait for Veronica to die. She’s never smelled fried bitch before.

Benny and Mitch drive by and see Melissa sitting near the overturned car. They tell her to get away; the car might blow, but she hopes it does. They realize someone else is in the car. Mitch asks if Melissa is crazy, and she says after dealing with Veronica, it’s a possibility. Mitch runs to get a fire extinguisher. Veronica is going nuts, and Benny tells her to relax so he can help. Benny pulls her from the car.

At the hotel desk, Jim tells Broderick that his room key doesn’t work. Broderick says that’s because it’s not his credit card. Jim says if Broderick doesn’t get him in his room now, there won’t be a need for hotel policy; he’ll burn this bitch to the ground. He says he knows about Broderick and his wife scheming against him. Broderick gives him a new key.

Jim watches the news in his room. The DA says they’re close to making an arrest. The reporter wonders if it’s going to be a Cryer. Jim watches, and says, I know you. Oscar calls, and tells him to open the door. He asks what Oscar has. It’s good news and bad news. His son’s accounts are offshore, but they’re in luck, because he’s a bit of an addict. He went looking for drugs, and a thug got his ATM card, but they were arrested. Oscar thinks they should have recovery in a week. He asks where Jim wants the money to go, and Jim says he’ll text the information. He wants to get in touch with Sarah Duffy at the DA’s office, but no one can know.

Benny tells Melissa to be careful what she says. She says Benny should have let her die; she’s a wicked bitch. Benny thinks Melissa should go to the hospital, but she doesn’t want to. The EMT says it’s policy, although I’m not so sure about that. Veronica begs Benny to go with her to the hospital. Mitch tells him to go ahead, and Benny gets in the ambulance.

A guy does paperwork in Wyatt’s apartment. Wyatt walks in, and he introduces himself as Isaac. He says Anna called to be reassigned, and he was sent over. She’s been compromised because of the two of them sleeping together. Wyatt wants to talk to her, but Isaac says it’s not possible. Wyatt tells him to get out. Isaac knows Wyatt is upset. Anna is a recovering addict, and felt weak with him. Wyatt asks why she didn’t tell him, and Isaac says in the past, that’s how these situations have been handled. Wyatt tells Isaac he’s fired, and hustles him out. Wyatt calls Anna, and leaves a message. He can’t believe she walked out on him like that.

Oscar calls Wyatt, saying he’s with the Savannah police department, and they have someone who tried to use his ATM card. Wyatt says she tried to rob him. Oscar asks her name, and Wyatt tells him it’s Quita. Oscar asks if he wants them to file a report with the bank, but Wyatt says no, and hangs up on him. Oscar calls him an arrogant ass.

In a hotel stockroom, Broderick talks to Rocky, about Jim, saying he’s going to get Jim’s wife. Rocky says revenge is a good way to ruin the plan they have going. Broderick says they need to start making other plans. Rocky thinks they should get more girls, but Broderick isn’t down with that plan anymore. He needs bigger money than that. Rocky doesn’t think Kathryn will be interested, but Broderick says anyone married to a prick like that isn’t happy. He can at least fool her long enough for her to think she is. He tells Rocky that she’s worth $250 million, and Rocky is like, damn, that’s a lot of money. Broderick says he just has to make her feel special and get out. Rocky says everything is about appearance, and no way she’d be seen with him in public on her own. He doesn’t want their plan jeopardized. Broderick says that’s not going to happen.

Hanna sings Amazing Grace as she cleans. The bell rings. It’s a man Kathryn sent to fix the leak. He says he built the place, and introduces himself as Derek. He asks how long it’s been leaking, and Hanna says she just moved in, but she’s just staying until she finds a place. She says she can’t afford it there, and asks if he knows of a place that’s a third of the price. He does, but it’s on the other side of town. She’s fine with that, and he says he’ll leave his card.

The morgue calls. Hanna says she’ll come down and get them. She asks the Lord to help her. Derek has to shut the water off, and asks if she’s okay. She says her grandson was murdered. The morgue found something in his pocket, and she has to go get it. He asks if there’s anything he can do, and she says fix the sink.

Kathryn’s phone rings. It’s Hanna, who tells her about the morgue calling. Kathryn asks if Hanna wants her to go along, but Hanna just wants to know if it’s okay to leave Derek there. Kathryn says he’s completely trustworthy, and to call her when she gets back.

David puts a bed together. Erica says he works fast, and he says she shops fast. He’s hoping she likes the bed, but she thinks it’s a little masculine. He asks her to help him with his feminine side. His phone rings, but he doesn’t recognize the number, so he doesn’t answer.

Candace asks to pay for another night at the hotel, but it’s been paid for a month. She says she must have forgotten, and Broderick tells her it was paid for in cash. She goes to the bar, and Oscar sits next to her. He tells her that he paid the bill, and she asks why. He says he still has the mark, but she says she’s not interested. He asks what’s wrong with her, and why she’s so angry. She says she wouldn’t be if he hadn’t stolen her money. Oscar tells her she’s not getting it back, but he’s trying to help her, and Charles still asks about her. She tells him to leave her alone, and he says he’ll cancel her stay. She’s like, okay, and he wonders what her plan is. Candace says it’s to get him the hell away from her.

Oscar’s phone rings, and he asks about Quita being arrested. Candace asks what he knows about her. He says she robbed someone, and he wants information to do a recovery deal. She asks if it’s Jim, and Oscar says it’s his son; Jim’s trying to get back his inheritance. Candace says it should be easy; he’s an idiot, and Quita is a bigger idiot. She suggests she help him, but he says he’s got this already. He asks if she has any idea what First Ladies make after leaving office. The mark is primed ready to go, and she’d rather bully old men. He asks what happened? She had a fire in her when they met, but now she’s like a regular old whore, waiting for the next john. He says Jeffrey is sitting in jail for a murder she’s responsible for. Candace is surprised to hear that, and Oscar says if he was her, he’d think about securing his future in case Jeffrey decides to talk. He tells her she’s running out of time, and she tells him to get away from her. She calls Veronica, and leaves a message to call her back.

The morgue guy gives Hanna a plastic bag of Quincy Jr’s things. She takes out a piece of paper. It’s a letter that starts with, God, please help… Hanna clutches it to her chest, and says she’s sorry.

Justin gets Jeffrey out of his cell. Again? All the prisoners hoot and holler as they walk past. Justin takes Jeffrey to the interrogation room, and tells him to have a seat. Justin sits on the table and asks if he’s okay. He hates that Jeffrey is in there. He found David’s cell number, but he’s not answering. Jeffrey gives him the password to unlock his phone, and says try calling from there. Justin says he’ll be okay. Jeffrey asks to go back to his cell, but Justin says it’s shift change; they have time. He sits on Jeffrey’s lap and Jeffrey says someone could walk in. Justin says it’s more fun that way, and Jeffrey asks if Justin’s wife thinks it’s fun. He asks if Justin has talked to her. Justin says he doesn’t care; he just cares about Jeffrey. Jeffrey says she could make it worse for him being a judge. Justin says he knows Jeffrey loves him. Jeffrey says he barely knows him, and asks him to stop and just find his dad. Justin says if Jeffrey doesn’t love him, it will mean he did all this for nothing. He tells Jeffrey to say it, and Jeffrey says, I love you; now find his dad. Justin starts kissing him.

Landon asks Charles what’s going on? Charles can’t get his tablet to work. He doesn’t know what he’d do without Landon, and Landon says ditto. Charles says it’s just a job for him, but Landon says he’s wrong. He loves his job, but it’s also his pleasure to work for Charles. He admires and respects him. He hasn’t met anyone like him; he’s real, decent, and honest. He has true compassion for people. He tells Charles that his top-secret clearance is causing his apps not to work, but he’ll take care of it. He says Charles has a late start tomorrow, and asks if he wants to go for a drink. Charles says okay, but as his friend, not his employer.

David pours drinks for himself and Erica. His phone rings and he ignores it. Hers rings, and she decides to do the same. He asks what if it’s her ex, and she says she blocked the number. She looks at the phone, and says it’s her sister. She calls back, and it’s Candace. David wanders away, and Candace says she wants to get this bastard, or Erica’s ass will be dead. Erica says she’s sorry, and asks how she can make it up. Candace says a few hundred grand. Erica asks how much time, and Candace says when she calls back, Erica had better have it. Erica tells David that her sister was just checking up on her.

Veronica is wheeled into the hospital on a gurney, with Benny holding her hand. Hanna is coming toward them, and she and Benny lock eyes.

Next time, Jeffrey won’t talk to the DA, Justin is going to bash someone’s head in, and Melissa harasses Veronica in the hospital.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Dorit needs an uber caffeine boost for her swimwear meeting. She was on the cusp of going to the next level, when she met PK, and postponed her career to start a family. She wouldn’t trade it for anything, but is ready to get back to work. She thinks it’s going to be a killer collection. Nava means beautiful in Hebrew, and is Phoenix’s middle name, so that’s what she’s calling the line. She wants to launch for resort 2017. I’m not sure when this was filmed, but her assistants tell her she’s cutting it short. She thinks the line should reflect her, and it’s agreed that red is having a moment.

Teddi, who is a nice balance for this show, is meeting Dorit for drinks at four. She’s punctual, and believes it’s polite. We’re totally on the same page there. I hate, hate, hate when someone keeps me waiting. It’s disrespectful. She has a glass of wine, and has been waiting for a half hour. In her interview, she says if she wanted to have some wine alone, she would have done it in the comfort of her home. After forty minutes, and a bunch of unanswered texts, she’s calling it a day. As soon as she asks for the check, Dorit tells us she was laser focused on her teleconference meeting. In her interview, Teddi says she’s not an electronical wizard but is pretty sure Dorit could have sent a text while she was on the phone. She tells Dorit, another time, and Dorit babbles that she didn’t realize. Dorit is about fifteen minutes away, but Teddi is like, later. Dorit is all, sorry, sorry, sorry. In her interview, Teddi says thanks for the apology, but it’s a different kind of person who doesn’t even realize they’re that late to meet someone.

Kyle says she doesn’t have swans or horses, but still feels like she has a zoo with all her dogs. Ha-ha! Yes, she does. The little one just peed on the wall. Rich people – they’re just like us. LisaR video chats from Canada. Kyle asks when she’s coming back. She’s filling in for Kelly on Kelly and whoever-it-is-now in the morning. In her interview, LisaR says she was very close to being Regis’s co-host, and does a decent impression of him.

Lisa goes to Vanderpump Dogs and plays with a puppy. She says it’s been a labor of love, and we look at different clips of their progress. She says they were throwing in with another organization, but decided it was too sketchy. She loves having the rescue center, even though it’s riddled with emotional turmoil. Every time they get a dog that was going to be euthanized a good home, it’s worth it. The staff shows her a stray dog they brought in from the street, and she says it looks like Ken. They show their pictures side by side, and by God, she’s right.

Kyle meets Erika for lunch, and orders beet juice. She asks about Tokyo, and Erika had a great time. LisaR’s daughters are doing well on the modeling front, cut her no slack, and it was hilarious. Kyle tells Erica that she has two shows in development. In her interview, Kyle says every time she has an idea, she thinks her sisters will be upset, but she has exceptional stories to tell. Erica tells her about Tom breaking his ankle in a car accident. In her interview, she says he’s a 78-year-old who’s 50. It sounds like the car didn’t make it though.

Erika confers with her assistant. They talk about jet lag, how you think you’re cool, and then you’re not, and I identify. Erika tells him about Tom’s accident, and says it could have been worse. In her interview, she says she realized that one day she’ll be alone, and things can change in a moment. It’s the first time she’s seen Tom not super human. He’s in a lot of pain, and he doesn’t like to acknowledge it. She saw a flash of fear, and she’d never seen that before. It’s scary.

Kyle visits Teddi’s gym. Teddi says for the first five minutes, Kyle might hate her. Instructor Adam teaches them on a climbing machine. Teddi says Kyle did better than she did the first time. Afterward, they go to a porridge bar, which I’ve never heard of, but sounds intriguing. Kyle gets a juice, and Teddi gets a salad. Where’s the porridge? Kyle tells Teddi that Dorit claimed she was twenty minutes late meeting Teddi, and she was annoyed. Teddi says she was waiting almost an hour. She gets it if someone is busy, but she hired a nanny for the kids and is there waiting, and Dorit couldn’t even text saying she was going to be late.

LisaR checks into the NYC hotel. Wow. A fruit plate, champagne, and all kinds of stuff. She immediately wipes down everything with alcohol wipes, then calls Harry. She tells him she’s been getting texts that are saying he’s mean, and he says he’s being firm. He’s determined to get the girls in shape. In her interview, LisaR says he’d say she was the more lenient parent. They talk about Amelia doing her own laundry. Amelia FaceTimes with her, and doesn’t understand why she’s being subject to such menial tasks. In her interview, LisaR says she wants to prepare them to be on their own. She knows it sounds like stuff everybody should do, but everybody doesn’t.

Dorit meets Kyle at a Mexican place for lunch, and manages to be on time. Dorit talks about being tardy only six minutes, and says it’s an unfair recollection of the truth. In her interview, she says they were supposed to meet at four thirty. Teddi’s leaving was abrupt, and she doesn’t understand why it happened. Kyle says she’d never wait an hour for anyone. I WANT HER EARRINGS. They’re rose gold tassels, and HUGE. Kyle talks about selling her show ideas. She starts to cry, telling Dorit how her mom was all about the girls sticking together, and a victory for one, was a victory for them all. She doesn’t feel like she can call them about it though. She doesn’t know the reaction she’d get, and her parents are gone, so she kept it to herself. She says she and her sisters used to talk every day, but it changed after she produced American Woman. She says the shows are inspired by her life, and not theirs. She tells us Mauricio worked for her brother-in-law for years, and when he struck out on his own, it changed the family dynamic.

LisaR tells the hair guy to make it look not frizzy. She talks about teasing Regis that she’d the next co-host. Kelly was perfect, but she was close, and loves coming back. She says the first time she co-hosted was seventeen years ago. If she had gotten the job, their lives would be different. When Harry said how happy he was in Beverly Hills, she knew it was right because, family first. I loved the show that she co-hosted with Ty Treadway, Soap Talk. Alas, it was on the Soap channel, that also is no more.

Hanky! Panky! Dorit visits LVP at Villa Rosa. But not long enough.

Kyle meet Camille and Teddi for lunch. They’re waiting for LisaR coming in from New York. Kyle asks if Teddi has talked to Dorit.

LVP and Dorit go out for lunch. LVP asks about Dorit having another baby, but she’s swaying toward not doing it. She has two toddlers, plus PK, and is starting the swimwear line. She’d be crazy to throw another baby in the mix. Dorit tells LVP about how upset Kyle was, not being able to share her success with her sisters. LVP is surprised that she was that open with someone she doesn’t know well. Dorit says she feels that they’ve bonded and have a connection. In her interview, LVP is surprised that Kyle was so overcome with emotion, and was showing it to Dorit. Dorit says she’s put off by Teddi right now.

Teddi isn’t irritated about Dorit being late anymore, but it bothers her that she changed it to twenty minutes.

Dorit shows LVP Teddi’s text at 4:36.

Teddi shows the girls the text where Dorit thought they were supposed to meet between 4:30 and 5:30. She wonders who gives between an hour to meet at a restaurant?

Dorit says she couldn’t have apologized more, but Teddi couldn’t wait any longer, even though she was ten minutes away. Another five minutes shaved off.

Teddi says she thought she could just get over it, but then Kyle said Dorit claimed she was only twenty minutes late.

Dorit says Teddi Claims she was kept waiting fifty-four minutes. She’s exaggerating times, and making her out to be an idiot and a bad guy.

Kyle says Dorit told her that she was six minutes late. In her interview, Camille says Dorit is a little bit self-absorbed, and a bottomless pit of BS. Teddi says she understands if you can’t make it, but don’t lie about it.

Dorit says she has strict time restraints that others might not understand. I choke on my coffee. LVP gets how important that can be, and says a friend gives you slack. LVP changes the subject to Dorit calling Camille a stupid c-word.

Camille says she was bringing David around for the first time, and she was nervous enough. She was embarrassed. She thinks Dorit talks and drinks too much, and might be desperate for attention. In her interview, Kyle thinks saying someone drinks too much is a big deal. I don’t. Dorit was talking too much because she was drinking too much. Kyle brings up LVP using the word, but Dorit isn’t British. It’s true. They don’t think as much of that word as we do.

Dorit says she doesn’t have an issue with Camille, but was just being stupid. LVP suggests Dorit look at it from Camille’s POV. She has a new boyfriend, and introduced him to the group for the first time. A light bulb comes on over Dorit’s head, as she realizes she might have been rude.

Camille says Dorit hurt her feelings. She was inappropriate, and it really is a nasty word.

LVP says Dorit can mess with her, but some people don’t have the same sense of humor. Maybe she needs to apologize. Dorit wonders why she always puts her foot in her mouth.

Camille says she’s getting Dorit a ball gag as a gift. In her interview, Kyle says Dorit’s mouth is like a tennis ball machine. LisaR arrives. She tells them how much fun she had, then blurts out that she knows “this little thing.” A “little lawsuit thing” with LVP. Allegedly something happened with Ken and a woman who was running a charity. Perhaps the sketchy organization LVP referred to? Allegedly, Ken assaulted her somehow. Kyle says assault implies physical violence, and he’d never do that. Ever. She tells LisaR that’s hard to believe, and gives her the evilest eye ever. I don’t buy it either. And little lawsuit thing? That’s just distasteful.

Next time, LVP attacks Kyle with a dog hair dryer, Harry talks to LisaR about the boys being after the girls, LVP addresses LisaR, and Kyle and Teddi have it out.

🏄  Summer House is returning – Monday, January 22, at 10 pm. I’m not sure why. I kinda, sorta, half-assed watched its first season, but once crossover Stassi (Vanderpump Rules) was gone, so was my interest. It’s like a mini Real World, but with older “kids.” Definite train wreck watching.

🍲 For those who like their cooking competitions with a Spanish flair, MasterChef Latino airs on Telemundo Sunday nights. Although I’ve enjoyed watching The Beastmaster in Spanish, I didn’t actually watch this show, but noticed it skimming around the digital guide, and thought it worthy of a mention.

To celebrate the middle of the week, employees at Gortney Industries built an actual hump.

Wednesday4

 

January 15, 2017 – An Answer from PK Sinclair, Brittany Rages on, Shep & a Spaniel

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Carly shows Bobbie the condoms that fell out of Josslyn’s backpack.

At Kelly’s, Josslyn asks Oscar if they’re really going to do this. He says only if she’s sure. She is, and asks what about him? He says, totally.

As they watch Julian laughing with Kim, Diane tells Alexis the menu just got more interesting.

Anna sees Finn while she’s at the hospital to make an appointment. He asks how it’s going, she says apparently she’s getting back to normal – whatever normal is. She tells him that she’ll see him around, but he asks her to wait. He never really got to say goodbye.

Maxie thinks Nina might be able to convince Peter to pull the interview. She’s afraid for their lives. Lulu says it’s too late. The interview was already picked up by wire services. Maxie says there’s no way to stop the world from knowing that Nathan is Faison’s son.

Spinelli thinks his email to PK Sinclair is brilliant. Sonny looks at it, and says, that’s it? Spinelli says it’s more than enough. They’ll be hearing from PK Sinclair in no time. They can assume vanity runs in the family, and they’ll draw him out with praise. Spinelli receives a reply asking, who is this?

Bobbie tells Carly not to jump to conclusions. Carly asks if Bobbie thinks they want to use them for water balloons. Bobbie points out that the box hasn’t been opened, but Carly asks how does she know it’s the first time? She’s going to talk to Josslyn, but first, she has to make sure the moms are on the same page.

Very obviously, peeking over her menu, Alexis eavesdrops on Kim and Julian’s conversation. Ava comes in, and Diane makes a snarky remark. Ava says at least she’s not reading the menu upside down. Alexis gets all flustered, and Ava laughs at her, since the menu was fine. Ava says it must be tough to read when her mind is elsewhere. She wonders if her former sister-in-law is becoming a regular there.

Anna say she read Finn’s note; he didn’t have to say anything else. Finn thought it was better that way, and Anna hopes he and Roxie are happy back in their natural habitats. He says they’re good, and thanks her for understanding. She says it was awkward, pretending to be couple. Finn says they didn’t really know each other, but got good at pretending. Anna says Cassandra is no longer a threat, and Finn says, and here we are. He asks if she’s doing any better. The last time he saw her, she was running out with a gun and a broken clock. Anna says now she knows who put Cassandra out of commission. Finn says he’d ask, but knows she’d have to kill him if she told him. She says they’re both back in their natural habitats, and it was best before things got out of hand; they dodged a bullet. Finn says, lucky us, and she holds out her hand. Anna tells Finn to take care, and they gaze at each other for like, thirty seconds. She goes back to the desk, and he watches. When he leaves, she wipes a tear away.

Maxie can’t believe this is happening. Nathan tells her that he gave the interview to draw Faison out of hiding. She asks what he’s going to do next, take a baseball bat to a wasp’s nest? Faison feeds on fear. Lulu tells her to calm down for the baby’s sake. Maxie says, the baby Faison steals in her dreams? Thanks to Lulu, he’s going to come after the baby in real life.

Spinelli says, now they reel him in. He responds that he’s an admirer, saying they have something in common. A relationship with Isaac Refson, an anagram of Faison’s name. In the fastest email reply ever, PK Sinclair says that Isaac Refson Is a fictional character. Spinelli writes back that fact is stranger than fiction. They both know he’s PK’s father.

Carly sees Kim, and Bobbie tells her to take a breath. Surprisingly, Bobbie leaves, and Carly tells Kim that they have to talk about the kids. Kim has rounds, and asks if they can talk another time. Carly shows her the condoms, and says these belong to her son. She found them in Josslyn’s backpack. Kim suggests maybe they belong to Josslyn. Carly says they’re planning on having sex. She overheard Josslyn tell Oscar that the Mad Hatter’s Ball will be a special night that will blow his mind. IMO, it actually sounds like they’re going to take drugs, but I’m sure it will turn out to be something totally innocuous. Kim says at least they’re using protection, and Carly guesses they’re done. Kim says Carly is right. Obviously, they’re too young for sex, but if they’re thinking about it, she’s relieved they’ve discussed the ramifications and responsibilities that come with an adult decision. Carly says Kim needs to tell Oscar to take a cold shower. He’s clearly the instigator. Kim asks how she knows it’s not her daughter? Really. And Josslyn has been the aggressor throughout their relationship so far. I’m not faulting her for it. It just is what it is.

Josslyn tells Oscar it’s a big step. Oscar says not everyone will think they’re doing the right thing, but it’s right for them. She can’t wait for the ball.

Julian approaches the table, and Alexis says she left the oven on. Diane says she did too. Ava asks what happened to Julian’s window; she noticed it was boarded up. He tells her about the brick, and Alexis says it’s intimidation from whoever wants to make changes in the neighborhood. Julian says it’s nothing to be worried about, but Alexis says Molly lives across the street. Ava wonders what’s really going on with Alexis.

Maxie tells Lulu that he was just singing her praises to Peter, saying that if she wanted a big story, she wouldn’t stop until she got it. Peter walks in, and says Lulu is a born reporter, and Maxie should thank her. Maxie says she thought of career more than anything, but Peter says Nathen is the one who initiated the story, and she’s a good reporter. Nathan asks Peter to share any information he might get with the PCPD. All of a sudden, Maxie doubles over in pain. Nathan says he’ll take her to the hospital. Lulu says she’ll come too, but Maxie says she’s done enough. When they’re gone, Lulu wails, what have I done?

Diane walks into Sonny’s office, and asks if this is a conversation she shouldn’t be hearing. Sonny asks if she’s billing him, and she says no, she’s billing Jason. She tells Jason he’s giving away everything. Spinelli says his offshore holdings are doing well, but Diane says his Port Charles holdings took a hit. She tells them that Nathan gave an interview about being Faison’s son, and it’s going viral. Spinelli grabs his coat, saying Maxie was adamant that no one should know, and now it’s trending. He wants to make sure she’s okay. He jets, and Diane asks if Sonny wants to tell his lawyer what he’s been up to.

Anna punches the bag at the gym. Felicia asks what the bag ever did to her. She wonders if Anna is pretending it’s Faison, and says she guesses Anna heard. She tells Anna that Maxie confided in Mac, who confided in her. Maxie swore them to secrecy, but now Nathan did an interview. Anna says she knew from Sonny and Jason. Felicia says she’s not asking why Anna is fraternizing with hoodlums. Anna says that Sonny dug up the information that Faison has another son. They want to find him, since they think that will pull Faison out. She told them to leave it alone, but doesn’t think they will. Either way, Faison is on his way back to Port Charles (YES!!!). Anna says she’s got to keep on the defensive at all times, at all costs. Felicia doesn’t think she’s talking about Faison.

Carly says Kim is right; she shouldn’t point fingers. They’re both hormonal teenagers, and they’re good kids. Kim isn’t suggesting they look the other way; they’re not ready. Carly thinks they should present a united front. She’s concerned about them rushing in without thinking about the consequences. Kim says at the end of the day, they’re still going to do what they want. She has an emergency, and leaves. Bobbie tells Carly motherhood is a job that never ends. They go to get coffee.

Kim sees Maxie, and asks what’s wrong? Maxie tells her she has abdominal pain, and says please don’t let anything happen to the baby.

Peter says Lulu isn’t thinking clearly. Lulu says Maxie is right to be worried. She put her career first, and look what happened? Peter says what happened is, her story might flush out the most wanted felon. She thanks him for being supportive, and he hugs her. Spinelli walks in, and Lulu says her boss just reminded her that there’s no crying in journalism. She introduces them, reminding me that Spinelli’s first name is Damien. He was hoping to find Maxie, but Lulu tells him she’s at GH; she was having abdominal pains. Spinelli wants to know why no one called an ambulance, but Peter says Nathan took her, since it didn’t seem serious. Spinelli wonders if Peter is also an obstetrician. Lulu explains that he and Maxie have a daughter together, and Peter says he understands Spinelli’s concern. After he leaves, Spinelli says Lulu told the world that Nathan is Faison’s son, and Maxie has already been rushed to the hospital. Lulu says she already feels bad.

Sonny explains to Diane that they’re hoping to lure PK Sinclair out, to lead them to his homicidal father. Diane thinks that might not be necessary if Faison sees the interview. Should it result in any number of felonies, she wants to remind Sonny and Jason of self-incrimination. They’re to remain silent unless she’s present. She says Sonny can be chatty. Jason is a prosecutor’s dream, but a nightmare in civil court. Maybe Sonny can convince him that he can provide for Sam and Danny without signing everything over.

Ava asks Julian if Alexis is there all the time, but he says she’s keeping tabs on Molly. Ava wonders if that’s why she gasped about the broken window. Julian insists she’s just worried about Molly, but Ava says it was his window that was broken; not Molly’s. Julian says Alexis has moved on; she’s dating a doctor. Ava says it appears Alexis isn’t the only one who’s moved on.

Finn and Alexis chat after a 12-step meeting. They agree the meeting was relentlessly dour. Finn says thank God the holidays are over, but Alexis says that Valentine’s Day is a real minefield. He thanks her for speaking at the meeting. He admires her courage. She says she’s a lawyer. She likes to talk, and likes to have the last word before a jury. Finn says there are no juries there, but she says the one in her head. He asks if guilt works, and she says guilt and shame, as long as you do it to yourself. If she didn’t give herself a reasonable dose of guilt, what kind of person would she be? Finn says, human?

Anna tells Felicia that false reality is common in spy work. They got so good at pretending, they somehow convinced themselves. Felicia says she had them convinced. Anna says it was fun, surprisingly so. Felicia says there’s no shame in having fun. Anna says Faison is out there; Finn would be a target to use as leverage, like Robin. Felicia realizes she broke it off to protect him. Anna says she had to, and Felicia suggests she’s protecting herself from herself. Anna asks what she’s talking about, and Felicia says she’s shutting herself off because of Faison. She thinks they should talk about the real problem. The thing that makes her vulnerable. Anna says that’s if she cared about him, and Felicia says she does. Anna says that’s why he can’t be in her life. She has to push him away for both their sakes.

Alexis asks Finn what he would have said, and he says it can’t leave the room. She asks him to hand her a doughnut, calling it legal tender, and says she’s his lawyer now. He tells her that he’s really scared, and she asks what about? He tells her a couple years ago, he lost his wife to a disease that he cured, but not in time. He thought he’d never care about anyone again, but he was wrong. He and Hayden were going to marry and have baby, but it fell apart, and he lost them. He doesn’t want to lose anyone again; he doesn’t think he can take it. He says alcohol and drugs are just symptoms. What’s the real addiction? Alexis says it’s a who. A person caused her to make bad decisions, and sacrifice her integrity. She still sees him. Every time she turns around he’s there, and the worst part is, she loves him. it’s a hard habit to kick.

Julian tells Ava it’s her imagination. She says she doesn’t think it is, calling him “Charlie,” like Kim did. He asks how about her and ex priest? She tells him that Griff gave her a wonderful gift. She’s getting the treatment to remove her scars. If she can get a new lease on life, he can too.

Carly picks up a mitten outside of Kelly’s. She and Bobbie talk about how fast Josslyn grew up. Bobbie says it seems like another lifetime, even though it was just a few years ago. One minute, Lucas was an adorable little boy, she blinked, and he’s a doctor with a husband. They can’t keep them children forever. Carly looks through the window, and sees Josslyn and Oscar.

Diane tells Jason that he’s officially divorced, and gives him a copy of the paperwork. She says she did the best she could, considering his near suicidal generosity. Jason says it’s not about the money. Diane says it’s her job to safeguard his legal and financial interests, but if making Sam happy is his objective, he failed. She’ll never be happy with Drew. She might have been if Jason hadn’t come back, but he did, and she loves him. Even a lawyer can see that.

Bobbie tells Carly now’s her chance for that mother/daughter talk. In front of Oscar?

Finn tells Alexis that he’s better off alone, and she says they’re not supposed to be in a relationship for a year after starting the program. He says he’s talking about forever, but Alexis says that’s an abyss she doesn’t want to stare into. Finn thinks he’s at his best when on his own, and she asks if that’s an assessment or rationalization. He says both. She says she’s between scorched earth and uncharted territory, and has to keep an eye on the road. Finn says he has to stay on the road he knows, and out of the fast lane.

Felicia tells Anna that Finn was brave enough to take on the cartel; Faison isn’t going to scare him off. Anna says he has a knee-jerk knight-in-shining-armor thing, which wouldn’t be so bad, if his only weapons weren’t sarcasm and medical research. There are things he can’t know about for his own safety.

Spinelli tells Lulu if the story lands Faison in prison, Maxie will thank her. Lulu hopes he’s right. If anything happens, she won’t forgive herself.

Kim tells Maxie that she and the baby are doing fine. Maxie is glad it’s nothing, but wishes it didn’t feel like a swordfight in her belly. Kim says to keep stress to a minimum. When she’s out of earshot, Maxie asks Nathan how she’s supposed to do that, when she knows Faison is the baby’s grandfather. She just wants it to be over. Nathan says tomorrow is their wedding anniversary, and promises it will be a day she’ll treasure forever.

Sonny tells Jason that Diane is a pita, but most of the time, she’s right. Why not tell Sam that he loves her and wants her back? How will he know if he doesn’t ask? Spinelli gets an email from PK Sinclair saying he referred to the sequel, and asks if they read the end. Sonny asks how it ends.

Tomorrow, Kim talks to Oscar, Michael wants answers from Nelle, and Sonny says they’ll use Faison’s son to figure it out.

Vanderpump Rules

Rewind to the housewarming party. Around 1:30 am. Ariana doesn’t want to tell Brittany something she doesn’t want to hear, but Brittany says, let’s do it. Jax is laughing with his dudes in the kitchen. It reminds me of this picture in my wedding album. A friend’s date was partying with my husband’s friends, and it looks like he’s having the time of his life, laughing away. There’s a clock on the wall behind him, and I know that within an hour from then, people will be banging on the bathroom door where he’s locked himself in, and is getting sick. It’s like that moment when everything is THE BEST! and then it nosedives downhill. On the recording, Jax said he doesn’t want kids or marriage, and hasn’t had sex with Brittany in months. Brittany announces that she’s going to put it on speaker phone, and asks for everyone’s attention. Jax looks like he might pass out. She tells him he’s a piece of sh*t and should rot in hell. Jax is hustled out. Tom says Brittany doesn’t want to do this, but Ariana tells him to shut up. Jax asks Tom if he can explain what’s going on. The amazing part is that Jax has lived as long as he has being as stupid as he is.

James interrupts. Lala says she’s done with these men thinking they can do what they want. On the recording, Jax says Faith is the best sex he’s had. He’s not even attracted to Brittany anymore and doesn’t like being with her sexually. At Schwartz’s place, Jax says he cheated, did everything wrong, and he’s “going through it,” whatever that means. Tom slips away to get some alcohol. Jax throws a phone. Schwartz says it’s his phone, and he needs that.

The girls gather around Brittany. James tries to insert his opinion, which is a bad idea, and Stassi tells him to get the eff out. Jax tells the guys that the relationship is done. We can dream. James joins them, saying it was Lala and Ariana. Jax wonders why they’d do that. Tom thinks playing the recording after hours of drinking is a horrible idea, and wonders if Ariana is out of her mind. He’s disgusted, but having a hard time saying the word “disgusted,” since he’s drunk. Try “certificate of occupancy” sometime. Ariana says it was brought to her. Tom asks if she couldn’t have waited, but she says it was on Lala’s phone. She didn’t approach Brittany. Tom says she should have had the wherewithal to know it wasn’t the right time. In her interview, she says he’s taking d-bag Jax’s side instead of hers. She keeps telling him it’s not on her phone, and calls him a d*ck for having Jax’s back. She leaves, slamming the door behind her, and he says, get out of here. In that order. I laugh.

Lisa tells Peter that James is coming to see her. Like the leprechaun he is, James appears. He thought of a better name – James Kennedy presents See You Next Tuesday. Lisa is like, thanks for giving me a heads up. He feels like it’s going to be something fresh. She tells him to behave himself; it’s his night. In his interview, he says it’s make it or break it. He even passed out flyers, sweating like a prostitute, to make this party happen. He says he’s good to not drink for a week after the housewarming party, and tells Lisa about the recording. He says they played it, and it was awful. In his interview, he says he actually stole the recording off of Faith’s phone, and sent it to himself.

Lala, Tom, and Ariana go to Scheana’s for breakfast. Lala is extremely hungover. Tom wonders how the recording ended up in Brittany’s hands. Ariana says Brittany told them she wanted to know everything, but Tom thinks not in the wee hours of the morning, after she’s been drinking all night. Ariana says she’s not going to always have the best answer all the time, and is irritated that Tom is questioning her.

We see the aftermath of the housewarming party. I’d leave that mess for Jax. Jax comes in, and Brittany is cleaning the kitchen. He has no words. She asks what that means. She says she shouldn’t have played it, and he had no idea she was even going to hear it. He says she gave her word not to drag everyone else in, and she tells him quit trying to blame her. He’s embarrassed that he got caught, and is trying to turn it around. He says it was so wrong in so many ways. Brittany is so young. Why is she settling like this?

Ariana tells Tom that she can’t deal with someone saying she’s making sh*t up. Whenever he disagrees with her, he tells her what he would have done and how it would have been better. Tom just wants her to take responsibility, saying she never does that.

Brittany tells Jax to get mad at them, not her. She was drunk and pissed off, and had a right to be. She calls him a dirty human being who has no remorse. It’s his fault not hers. He tells her to take responsibility, and tells him she’s not doing this anymore.

Ariana says Tom doesn’t like her as a person, and they should just break the eff up. He asks when the last time was that she apologized to him for anything she’s done?

Lala talks to new girl Billie, who says she just went through a break up, and she’s starting over. He wanted to have kids, but she’s trans and can’t have her own. She exchanges numbers with Lala, who promises an invite to the next dramafest get together.

Stassi, Patrick, Katie, and Schwartz (a law firm) go to bar (a joke) hidden behind a bookshelf. In her interview, Stassi says you won’t find any commoners there. Stassi cracks me up. Katie says Schwartz has a man crush on Patrick. Katie tells Schwartz no Jager bombs; he’s been a bad boy. This prompts Schwartz to tell Patrick about making out with a friend of Lala’s when he was drunk. In his interview, he says Patrick is good at adulting, and he needs to get his sh*t together. Schwartz says he’s intimidated by Patrick’s wit being so on point. Patrick says if it rains, you can bring an umbrella, but can only control how you react to the rain. He’s a regular Confucius. Katie tells them about the recording. In her interview, Stassi says if your friends are a reflection of you, what must Patrick think?

James brings Lala and Tom along to the studio. Lala is doing some sampling, and Tom has brought his trumpet. James is hung over AF. He thinks people want him to fail, and Tom suggests not giving them a reason. Lala is pumped for James’s new gig. She’s happy to have him back on the mothership. Lala sings her three lines, and everyone thinks it’s amazing. Tom says his trumpet is an expression of his feelings, and he loses himself in the music. He calls it awesome, but I call it something else. Lala says it’s like being in a pack of baby dolphins learning to communicate for the first time, and I’d say that’s pretty accurate.

Katie and Stassi visit Brittany. Brittany says Jax stays in his room, and they haven’t even seen each other. She says he’s a different person whenever she talks to him, and she wants to be around her friends. In her interview, Stassi says six years ago, she was in the same position, and wonders when women will realize Jax isn’t worth dating. She tells Brittany that she didn’t do anything, Jax did. They agree it’s no way to live.

Peter has been given the task of keeping an eye on James. James says it’s crazy to be back at SUR. Ariana and Tom are working, but she’s barely speaking to him. He says he loves her, and wants to be able to work it out. Stassi wonders why Jax is there, and why he can’t let Brittany work in peace. Because he’s Jax. James tosses glow sticks to the crowd. Are those still a thing, or is he trying to make them happen again? He tells everyone to make some noise. He didn’t expect the crowd to be this big, and is getting a rush from playing his own music. Lisa thinks Jax isn’t there to support James, but to get under Brittany’s skin. She asks what about mea culpa, but Jax doesn’t know what that means. Schwartz explains, and Jax says he should have finished college. You mean he finished high school?

Scheana is hiding in the kitchen. She doesn’t want to serve Jax and the crowd. She’s upset about her boyfriend being accused of cheating. Katie comes back, and says it’s a mess out there. Ariana says every time she comes back to get something, she takes longer. Scheana asks if she and Katie can stop talking about each other’s relationships, and tells Katie the rumor about Rob is BS. In her interview, Katie says Scheana is obsessed with presenting Rob as perfect. She thinks it might be because people criticized her for moving on too fast after her divorce.

Lisa tells James, nice turnout. He says she saved him, and she says she had to give him tough love. He thanks her, and she tells him not to screw it up. He tells her she looks beautiful, and calls her my queen. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Scheana says she’s sick of this Rob thing. People have nothing better to talk about it. Tom thinks she should stop talking about it, and she says she’s putting it to bed for real.

Brittany stops to see Lisa before she leaves for the night. Lisa says it’s gone from bad to worse. Brittany says they’re not talking, but he won’t leave. Lisa asks why put up with it, but Brittany doesn’t know. She knows she deserves better than this, but isn’t being strong right now. She says she’s really sad, and Lisa tears up. She wonders what Jax needs to do for Brittany to understand the relationship isn’t beneficial. She tells Brittany that she has the world at her feet, and not to go running back to Kentucky. In her interview, Brittany says it isn’t black and white. She tells Lisa that she’ll be fine when she gets her confidence back up. Lisa says she looks better than she has in months, and Brittany says, revenge body.

Scheana asks to talk to Jen. She tells Jen there’s a rumor about Rob making out with someone who works at the same place Jen does. (Not SUR.) Jen says it’s a friend of hers. She’d asked Jen if she knew Scheana, and said the guy she used to date is dating Scheana now, but kissed her the other night. Scheana says Rob made light of it, but Jen says it was probably more inappropriate than you’d want a boyfriend to behave. Somehow, Scheana turns this around to interpret it that Jen is telling her the same thing Rob did.

Tom and Ariana sit in the back, outside behind SUR. She’s glad the night is over. She says she and Tom get wrapped up in other people’s stress and the stress of working, and it’s not them or what she wants for them. Tom feels like she was put in a bad position, being given the information. Ariana says she was drunk, and didn’t know what to do. She feels like Tom didn’t hear her. In her interview, she thinks he could be more empathetic, and she needs to stop taking some things so personally. They apologize to each other for getting so angry.

Brittany calls her mom. She says they’ve been going through a lot. Her mom says hard to trust someone who cheats. Brittany thinks she should give another try at making things work out, but if he goes back to his old ways, they won’t be together. In her interview, Brittany tells us that her mother has been married four times. She just wants that one special man. Her mom tells her to follow her heart, and Brittany says she’s been praying about it. Everyone deserves forgiveness, even Jax. While I agree, forgiveness doesn’t mean you stick around to let them do it again. It’s not dispensation from consequence.

Brittany goes into the living room, otherwise known as Camp Jax. She says it will be bad for a while, but she loves him too much not to try. She wants them to get therapy, and the way he talks to her has to change. He says what about how they talk to each other. She’s like, seriously? Me too. I hate that stuff, trying to defect the problem by shoving it onto the other person. She tells him that she’s taking a risk to stay; it’s embarrassing. He says it’s not his fault – I have no words – but she says it is; he’s the one who did it. He says he should have handled it differently. In his interview, he says it takes two, and it’s not all him. Cheating was wrong, but what did it take for him to do that? Even if he believes the crap that comes out of his own mouth, he must be extra stupid to say these things out loud. Why? Why does she stay with him? Does she watch this show? Brittany wants Jax to swear he’ll change. He knows what he has to do, but wishes he could hit pause. He wants one day without thinking about it. He promises nothing will ever happen again. I just can’t.

Next time, Pride Day (didn’t we just do that?), Scheana cries, Lala has it out with James, and Brittany’s mom visits.

👱 RelationShep had its finale tonight. Peyton and Priscilla were left, but Shep didn’t pick either one. Instead, he went to NYC, and hunted Bella down. She was the brunette he did the mystery room adventure thing with, where they had to find a key to get themselves out. At the end, we were told to tune into Southern Charm if we want to see how it turned out. Was this just one big commercial for Southern Charm? Regardless, it was fun to watch, and I hope Shep gets a love connection out of it. He revisited some interesting family trivia tonight. His family bred the first Boykin Spaniels, and we got to see a couple of puppies. I don’t see another season of this happening, although if sparks fly, he and Bella might be a fun couple to watch. Mostly fluff, it was nice to see something lighthearted in the midst of all the drama.

BoykinSpaniel

The Boykin Spaniel (it kind of looks like Shep)

 

January 9, 2018 – The Painting Follows Franco, HAHN Returns, Dorit Tops Her Own Idiocy & Giggy!

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

At Charlie’s, Alexis tells Julian the landlord is sketchy at best. Julian says he’s across the street, and can be there in thirty seconds if he sees anything is wrong. Alexis tells him not to think he’s going to get anything in return.

Laura is visiting Elizabeth, and Elizabeth asks if she’s happy. Laura says she thought she’d never love again, but it can surprise you. Elizabeth says yes, it can.

A guy delivers the painting of the brothers to Franco’s office. Franco says it was supposed to go to his studio, but the guy tells him to call the company if he has a problem. Franco asks the painting why it won’t leave him alone.

Olivia-Q tells Ned that she’s his wife, and he’s supposed to love, honor, and listen to what she says. He would be a perfect candidate. He says he’s not running for mayor.

Michael says that Carly is cleaning and organizing. From his experience, that means something is bothering her. He asks if she wants to talk about it, and she asks how much time he has.

Sam thanks Jason for coming. He asks if something is wrong. She says it’s not life or death, but a problem needs to be addressed. She needs a divorce.

Alexis asks Molly what’s going on? She says Curtis hasn’t been able to prove sabotage with the boiler. Alexis says something will come up, and Molly says they intend to expose the landlord for the greedy rat that he is.

Franco tells the painting it’s only a gruesome reminder that when he was three, he pushed a kid down the stairs. It was long before the tumor. He wonders how Elizabeth would be able to love him if he told her. He’s sure she would touch him, and say he was just a kid, and she still loves him, but what if she freaks out and goes back to Jason? He would die. He loves her too much to risk losing her. He can’t risk losing the best thing in his life, even if he doesn’t deserve it. He’s sorry for what he did to Drew.

Jim Harvey calls Ned, and says he has an arena with his name on it. He’s wondering when they’re moving to the next step. Ned says they would if he was still with ELQ, but he left, thinking it best for everyone concerned. As far as the redevelopment, he’ll be dealing with Michael moving forward. Jim says Michael has been less than receptive, and Ned tells him good luck. Olivia joins Ned, and tells him she also believes it’s best for everyone. He asks her if she’s including the city of Port Charles. He’s a businessman, not a politician. She tells him that they’re not mutually exclusive, and his experience gives him a leg up. He says she’s not giving up, is she? and she asks if he’s met her.

Carly wonders why Michael has no reaction to Nelle working at the gallery. He says he’d prefer she sought employment somewhere else, but it’s none of his business. Carly reminds him that Ava caused Morgan’s death, and he knows what Nelle is capable of on her own. Who knows what will happen with Ava’s influence. He says it’s not his call. They told her get job, and she did. Carly thinks it’s just a strategy to get him back. Michael says that might be, but his eyes are open, and he sees her for what she is. He knows she’s playing a game. What she doesn’t know is, so is he.

Sam explains to Jason that she and Drew were originally married under the wrong name. When they went to get the marriage license, there was a problem with the paperwork – she and Jason are still technically married. She needs a divorce. It only changes things on paper, but it’s important to her. Jason tells her it’s okay. He gets it. Just send the paperwork to Diane, and he’ll sign it. Sam doesn’t want to complicate things, but he says he won’t fight her on anything. She knows that, but they need a reason, even if it’s not contested. She shows him a list of reasons for divorce, but he says none of those are them. She wonders what is?

Jim goes to Charlie’s, looking for the manager. Julian introduces himself, and asks what he can do for Jim. Jim was hoping he could do something for Julian.

Molly tells Alexis they’re going to have a rent strike. They’re going to hang banners from every window, and everyone will know the injustice being done. Maybe the local news will get involved, and they can out the creep for the rat that he is. Alexis says no.

Jim tells Julian he’s offering him more than enough to relocate. Julian says Charlie’s is staying put.

Molly asks Alexis what about defending people’s rights? She watched her mother do that her entire life. Now she’s telling Molly that she shouldn’t?

Laura tells Elizabeth that she would have laughed if someone told her she’d be married to Doc. The truth is, she was scared. Maybe Elizabeth can relate to love not working out. Elizabeth jokes that she has no idea what Laura is talking about. Laura says she was gun-shy, and Elizabeth asks why she took the risk. Laura tells her because of how Doc looks at her and makes her feel. It was the smartest move she ever made.

Doc visits Franco’s office. He says the painting is fascinating. It’s beautiful; the depth and the mirror image of the boys. He also had twin. Saying his twin was a tortured soul is an understatement, and he died some time ago. Franco says he’s sorry, but Doc says he made peace with it. He feels peace when he looks at the painting. The boys are companions, trying to get to an idyllic world that represents safety. If they could break through, they’d have everything they want. That’s how he sees it. Franco says that’s one way to look at it. He tells Doc it’s on its way to storage. When he looks at it, it evokes a different set of emotions. Doc says for what it’s worth, he’d think twice about putting the painting or his emotions in storage. It’s amazing what you can do when you face them head on.

Michael says he hears Carly, but it’s already in motion. He has no legal recourse, and can’t tell Nelle who to work for or who to associate with. The more he pushes, the more she’ll do the opposite, He has to make her think she’s winning him over. Carly says as long as she doesn’t. It scares her. It’s not like him. She’s the one who plays people, and he didn’t inherit that. He asks if she’s calling him a pushover. She says he has the ability to see the good in people, and gives them the benefit of the doubt, which makes him more vulnerable. Michael says he was that baby in an endless tug of war. You don’t go through that and not learn something. He tells Carly that he only cares about his child.

Sam tells Jason sorry about New Year’s Eve; it shouldn’t have happened. She says the divorce isn’t because of that, and she feels badly that things are screwed up for him. he says it’s not her fault. She says it’s not his either. Neither of them could have known what was ahead when they got married. He asks if she would have changed it, and she says no. He says neither would he. Sam tells him that she said the vows because she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. Jason says he wanted to make her happy, and still does. If divorcing her makes her happy, then he will.

Alexis tells Molly for the sake of sanity, don’t escalate things. At least not until Curtis finds out what they need to know about this guy. Alexis leaves, and Julian tells Molly that her mom is right. She says nobody asked him.

Laura tells Elizabeth that Doc is probably out printing up buttons and posters for her campaign. Elizabeth thinks he might be on to something, but Laura says one successful speech doesn’t a mayor make. Elizabeth tells her not to sell herself short, and Laura says she’s a risk taker now. She thinks sometimes the way to find happiness is to let go of what feels safe and comfortable, and go for it. She leaves, and Elizabeth closes the door, saying, just go for it, to herself.

Carly thinks it’s kind of ironic how she acted when she was pregnant with Michael, and wonders if what goes around comes around, Michael tells her that he’s not saying she behaved well, but he believes the decisions she made were in his best interests, because she loved him. She says she still does, and it scares her. She doesn’t think Nelle is wired that way. He says he’ll be careful, but Carly says she still worries about him. He tells her that he has to talk to Ned.

Michael goes over to Ned’s table. Olivia says she has to get back to work, but the conversation isn’t over. Ned says it never is. Michael tells Ned that he believes the company’s strength comes from it being a family operation. His offer is genuine, and if Ned feels like Michael treated him with anything other than respect, he sincerely apologizes. Ned accepts, and Michael asks if he’ll reconsider his resignation.

Franco brings the painting home. Elizabeth kisses him, and he says he’s going to go out and come in again; he likes the way it’s going. She says she wants to set a wedding date right now can’t wait to marry him. They kiss some more.

Sam says it seems strange to thank Jason. He says they didn’t break their promises, they just didn’t keep them in the way they expected. Sam says he made her happy back then, and made her whole or got her to a place where she could become whole. She can’t repay him for that, but he tells her to just live, and find joy in being a wife and mother. Sam says she does, and Jason says he can tell. He’s glad she’s getting to live the life they both know he couldn’t give her. He starts to leave, and says, irreconcilable differences. They should use that, because he loves her, and she loves Drew.

Laura sees Jim’s card near the register at Charlie’s. Julian says if she’s looking for him, he’s right there. She introduces herself, and he says she would like to talk to him about the redevelopment project. He says he heard about her speech, and was hoping their paths would cross. He says his plans were misunderstood; he has only good plans for Port Charles, and hopes she would share his vision. She says she has a particular interest in the area, especially the children and families living there. She asks how his vision is going to benefit them.

Olivia asks if Carly is okay. Carly says that Nelle played their family from the second she landed, and now she’s going to be part of their family. Mothers have all the rights and all the say, and it drives her crazy, thinking Nelle is calling all the shots after what she did to the family. Olivia says if Carly needs her help, to let her know.

Ned says at least Michael has the guts to admit when he’s wrong. Ned is happy Michael has come around to his way of thinking. Michael says in terms of the Charles Street project, at this point, it’s still off the table. Ned asks why invite him back then, and Michael says he wants Ned to run the South American division. It needs ramping up, and they need someone of his caliber to oversee it. Ned says it’s unbelievable. You don’t send someone of his caliber and experience to the boondocks. He wonders if Michael is afraid that it’s painfully obvious Ned should be running ELQ instead of him.

Franco asks if Elizabeth is sure. She says she’s done with being comfortable and easy. People like them stay safe after they’ve had trouble in relationships, but it’s time to rock the boat. Franco says he’ll rock whatever she wants him to, and she says that’s even better.

Jason sees Carly at the MetroCourt. She says she’s so freaked out. Michael says everything is under control, but he doesn’t know what he’s doing. Jason is the only person he’ll listen to, and she’s afraid to push him. She asks where Jason was, and gets all excited, realizing he was with Sam. She asks what happened, and he says there’s nothing to tell. Sam asked for a divorce.

Alexis asks Sam what’s so urgent? Sam needs help with divorcing Jason. They’re 2011 marriage is still valid, and technically, they’re still married. She blurts out that they kissed the other night. It was like being transported back in time. She doesn’t want to be that person; that person doesn’t exist anymore. They both have to let go. Alexis asks if she’s letting go for the right reasons.

Julian tells Molly that her mother is worried about her. Molly says she clearly asked Julian to keep an eye on her, but she doesn’t want him anywhere near her. If she has a problem, she’ll call Sonny, Jason, Drew, the garbage man, or anyone who’s not him.

Jim tells Laura that growth comes at a cost. She says it doesn’t have to, and offers to show him around personally. He tells her he’s committed to the plan as written, and hopes she’ll come around. It’s a struggling neighborhood that finally has the chance to reach its full potential. She tells him not to hold his breath. He tells her it was nice meeting her, and leaves. Doc comes in, and asks what he missed.

Michael asks if Ned thinks he’d compromise the company to avoid agreeing with him. Olivia returns, asking if everything is okay. Ned says Michael just reinforced his decision to leave ELQ. Michael is sorry he feels that way. He wishes Ned the best, and tells him the door is always open. Olivia tells Ned to take deep breaths. Ned says behind those puppy dog eyes, is an ice-cold shark. Michael is making a mistake not listening to him, but Olivia says maybe it’s for the best that they carve out their own paths. Ned asks if she thinks his should be to the mayor’s mansion, and she says he’s smart, has a head for business, and has lived in this town forever. It’s true that in getting things done, it’s who you know, and he knows everyone. Ned asks if she really thinks he can do this, and she says she knows he can.

Franco chugs milk from the carton. He tells Elizabeth that he forgot to pick up more, and has to go. When he comes back, they’ll do something, like plan a wedding. Elizabeth suggests they practice for the honeymoon, and he tells her that practice make perfect.

Carly wonders if Jason and Sam are rushing things to avoid dealing with their feelings. Jason says they’re not rushing. He loves her, and she wants the safe and stable life she can have with Drew. Carly says, but she won’t have him, the one thing Drew can’t offer her, and it’s the one thing Sam wants, even if she won’t admit it.

Alexis is concerned that Sam is having emotional upheaval and is confused. Emotions are running high, and if she’s marrying Drew because of Jason, Drew will pick up on it not. She’s not saying to go back to Jason, but to not do anything right now. Jason is an inseparable part of her life. She needs to make peace with that before she thinks of marrying Drew.

Jim rings Elizabeth’s bell, and asks to talk to Franco. Elizabeth says he’s not home, so Jim leaves his card. He asks if Franco used to go by the name of Bobby Frank; he thinks he knew him as a kid. He remarks that Elizabeth’s home was part of ELQ’s renovation project. He says he hopes to do the same for Charles Street. Franco arrives, and Jim says, man, have you grown. Well, let’s hope so.

Laura thinks the renovation will be a disaster for Charles Street. The worst part is the spineless local government, and she doesn’t see anyone stopping them. Doc says he does. Sitting across from him.

Ned can’t believe he’s considering running for mayor. Olivia says he’s lived his whole life there. Ned says she would make the perfect politician’s wife. She says before they know it, she’ll be feeding the whole town cannoli. What does he say?

Doc tells Laura that this is her chance. Laura says he’s right. Both Ned and Laura say they’re running for mayor at the same time.

Sam tells Alexis that Jason was her first love, and she’ll always love him. Whether she marries Drew now, or ten years from now, that love will always be there, but they don’t act on it. Alexis promises that one day, Sam will wake up and not think about it, and that it will get better.

Carly tells Jason that she wants it for him, but knows he’ll be fine no matter what. She’s worried about Sam, and Drew wouldn’t want a wife who was in love with someone else. Carly had the best life with Jax, but she wanted to be with Sonny, and their marriage couldn’t take it. Jason isn’t nearly as toxic as he thinks he is. They can still have a future. Jason says, not if Sam doesn’t want to.

Sam tells Alexis that she’s actively choosing to marry Drew because she loves him, and loves their life together. She loves everything about him, and wants everyone to know it. Alexis says okay. She’ll help her with the divorce.

Tomorrow, Olivia wants to start campaigning, Charlotte asks Nina why she’s mad at Cassandra, and Jordan questions Valentin.

The Haves and the Have Nots

Justin calls for Harrington at the jail, acting like he doesn’t know Jeffrey. He tells him to step out of the cell and put his hands behind his back, and cuffs him. He takes Jeffrey to the interrogation room, and moves in for a kiss. Jeffrey says there are cameras, but Justin says he doesn’t care – since he made sure they’re not working. He asks how Jeffrey is, and Jeffrey wonders what kind of question is that? He asks what happened with Justin’s wife, but he hasn’t been home. It will be there when he gets there. Jeffrey says Justin needs to talk to her. Justin says Jeffrey is his man, and he did all of this to have him. Jeffrey needs him; he’s all Jeffrey’s got right now. Jeffrey tells him to back up; he’s not doing this. Justin says everything will be fine; he’ll make sure of it. Jeffrey says he’s sorry for what Veronica did, and Justin says he’ll handle it. Jeffrey asks what that means, but Justin is evasive. He says they have that bitch. She got him in it; they just have to get him out. Jeffrey asks if he killed her, but Justin says not here, and don’t say a word to anyone. He kisses the back of Jeffrey’s neck as he cuffs him again.

Kathryn, Hanna, and Benny come back from the funeral to Hanna’s new home. Hanna tells Benny to stop worrying about her, but he says that will never happen. He goes upstairs, and Kathryn says she’s sorry, but Hanna says there’s nothing they can do about it. Kathryn says pray for waves; waves of grief. Hanna told her that, and it helped. Hanna hopes it will help her, and Kathryn says just keep on praying. Kathryn asks how she’s getting settled in, and Hanna says it’s still new. Kathryn tells her to relax; she’ll get used to it. Hanna says she’s never lived anywhere she hasn’t paid. Kathryn suggests she come back to work for her. Her maid isn’t getting the hang of it at the new house. Their families have been through too much, but they can move on. She needs Hanna, and isn’t going to stop asking.

There’s a knock at the door. Benny answers. Hanna wishes she’d been there earlier. Quincy Jr. would have been safe. Mitch comes in to check on Hanna. He tells her if she needs anything, let him know, but she says she’s good. Kathryn’s phone rings. It’s Broderick at the hotel. She asks what her husband is doing there, and saysof course his credit was declined. She tells Broderick she’ll come there, and he can come to the desk and grovel. She tells Hanna that she canceled all of Jim’s cards. Hanna says she’s serious about the divorce. She asks who Broderick is, and Kathryn says the hotel manager. She’s not letting Jim stay, and is going to enjoy this. Hanna says she might stop by the new house and help the maid get settled in, just long enough to help her figure things out.

In the kitchen, Mitch asks, whose house? Benny tells her Kathryn gave it to his mom. Mitch says she seems like a nice lady, but Benny reminds him that she covered it up when her son hit him. He shows Mitch a truck for sale on his phone, saying they have to get back on their feet. He was thinking maybe Mitch’s family could give him a loan. Mitch says that’s a bad thing. Benny says he’s tried everything, but Mitch says the interest will be crazy. He says they were raking in the money before Candace did what she did. Benny says Mitch has to help. Mitch says Benny is his boy, and he’ll try to hook it up. Benny says he has no other choices. Mitch says okay, but know if something happens, there’s nothing he can do. Benny says he can handle it. They can be a team and keep it tight. No hurdle can knock them off the dream. Benny asks, hypothetically, if he messes up, will it come back to his family> Mitch says his family won’t be in it, but he will, and his knees, and arms. He’ll be buried in the reeds. Is he sure? Benny says let’s do it. Mitch says he’ll call his uncle. Benny asks to stop at the hotel on the way. He has to talk to Candace.

In her hotel room, a businessman type dude tells Candace she’s beautiful. She tells him to take his clothes off. He asks how much it will cost, and she says give her his wallet. She takes out the cash, and asks if that’s it. He says it’s $1800. She says it’s not enough, and tells him to get out. He says he’s not leaving until he gets what he paid for, and asks if she knows who he is. She says, actually, she does, and to get out. He asks what she’s saying, and she says he’s been robbed. She took his money, and she’s not having sex with him. She sees the tan on his ring finger. Obviously, he’s a corporate guy who worked hard to get where he’s at. Does he want to lose it all? He calls her a whore, and she says that’s right. She tells him that she saved him; go meet his wife. He calls her a bitch, and leaves, saying he’ll see her again. Geez, if it was that easy, we’d all be doing it.

Benny comes in, saying he came to check on her. Candace says he should call first. He asks if she’s turning tricks, and she says, see what happens if you don’t call? He tells her that she’s smarter and more capable than this. He’s her brother, and he’s not going to sit by and let her do this. Quincy Jr. dying was hard on all of them. She says he was murdered, and wasn’t his child. He says it hit them all hard; their mother is sick. Candace says she doesn’t care. Benny says she does. He knows she’s hurting and mad at the world. She tells him to go, and he says he has to talk to her. She says she has another john coming, but he says he’s going nowhere right now. If she’s not sleeping with them, how is she getting the money? Candace says she’s robbing them, and Benny says, like that makes it better. He tells her that their mother has a nice house with four bedrooms. They should be together; they’re a family. She says she’s never going to be around Hanna again; she let them kill her son. She’s going to get even with every SOB who ever did anything to her – Hanna, Jim, David, all of them. Benny says she started it, and Candace says she’s going to finish it. He should go before she calls security. He tells her when she’s past the anger, her family will be waiting. Candace says her family was cremated, but he says they’re her family too. He’s going back into business; she doesn’t have to do this. He says she should go back to school, get a legit job, and they’ll be good. She tells him to keep dreaming, and pushes him toward the door.

Jim tells Broderick to try the card again. It’s declined, and he’s like, wth? He asks if Broderick knows who he is, and says his family owns the hotel, with him and his wife owning 70%. Kathryn suddenly appears, and says, wrong.  Jim tells her his credit card was declined, and she wonders how that can be. Jim says this isn’t any fun, but Kathryn thinks it is. He demands she reactivate the cards, but she tells him the lawyer said they should keep their money separate until the divorce. He asks what he’s supposed to do, and she says he’s resourceful. This reversal of fortune might do him some good. Like one of the two-dollar whores he’s had, it’s time for him to pay for what he did. He tells her that he’s not taking this lying down. He’s reached his limit. She tells him to find somewhere else to live; take the easy way out, and sign the papers. He says they’ll no longer have spousal privilege, where they can’t be forced to testify against one another. She doesn’t give a damn, and tells him to sign the papers. She’ll give him $250K, and if he won’t take it, she’ll squeeze him until he does. Jim says she’s going to bring out the old Jim, and he’ll take her ass to the woodshed (whatever this means). Kathryn says she looks forward to it. She wants Wyatt’s address, but Jim won’t give it to her. She tells him that she’s getting security to escort him out.

Oscar watches as someone uses the ATM (maybe Quita, but it’s hard to tell). Oscar says, you’re not Wyatt. The police come and take the thief away.

Wyatt and Anna go back to his place. Anna insists something triggered him and he wants to use. He says it was nothing, but she won’t let up. Wyatt says he saw him, a priest who molested him. Anna says he’s safe now. Wyatt starts to cry, and says that’s why he uses. Anna says if he uses, he gives him the power, and they’re not doing that. He says he thought they were all dead, and she repeats they’re not giving them the power. She’s crying too, and he’s surprised she’s so emotional. She’s sorry he had to go through that. He asks if she wants to use, and she says they’re not using; they’re dealing with it. He asks if it happened to her too. She says her aunt. She’s strong in every situation but this. He hugs her, and moves in for a kiss, but she says they can’t; it’s not right. Wyatt kisses her anyway, and Anna kisses back. They get busy.

David tells Erica come on in; they’re at his house. He thought he and Veronica would be together there, but never showed it to her. He had it on the market, but is thinking of holding on to it. He says it’s too much house for a single man, and Erica says he won’t be single forever. He asks if that’s a proposal, but she says it’s a keen observation. He tells her it’s secluded, and no one could find her there. He wouldn’t mind living there if she was with him. Erica says they just met, but David says he knows her well enough. He’d enjoy being with her. She says she only has the clothes on her back, and he gives her a credit card, telling her to buy a wardrobe. He wants to know the name of her ex, but she doesn’t want him involved with all of her stuff. They move on to the kitchen. Wow. She hit the jackpot with this one.

Jim knocks, then walks in. David comes out, and he says he needs to borrow a credit card. He needs David to reserve a room in his name at the hotel too. Kathryn kicked him out. He was trying to give her enough space to get her mind back, but she’s close to pissing him off. Maybe he can get her back in line. He tells David, nice house, and wants to see it, but David says he has company. Jim wants to meet her – because he has nothing better to do – and David says another time. Jim asks if David has spoken to Mama Rose; she’s not returning his calls. David thinks the best way to get through is with Hanna’s son, Benny. He’s tight with her grandson Mitch. They’re the reason this mess started in the first place. Jim says he’ll talk to Hanna. He can’t believe Kathryn gave her maid a condo, and kicked him out of the hotel. David gives him some cash, and sends him on his way. Jim calls David a rascal.

Veronica’s car lies overturned and smoking. Wow. Six months later, and no one has called 911. It’s not far from the road either. Melissa crawls out of the window. Hanging upside down, Veronica asks for help, and Melissa says she’s the devil; keep calling her name. Melissa laughs. Veronica says she smells gas, and starts screaming. Melissa says, die, bitch.

Welcome back, Tyler Perry.

Next time, Melissa tells Veronica she’s going to sit there and wait for her to die, Jim threatens Broderick, Oscar tells Candace that Charles is still asking about her, and Justin tells Jeffrey he did everything for nothing.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

LisaR is flying to Tokyo to join her daughters doing their modeling thing. Erika is joining them as the teenage model wrangler. And of course, the glam squad will be there.

LisaR meets her daughters at the airport. There are some fans, and it blows her mind that they were working at the deli just over a year ago. She wonders what Kris Jenner would do, but it’s really not even close to that level yet.

LVP is having Kyle, Teddi, and Dorit over for lunch. Teddi says hello to the swans on her way to the door at Villa Rosa. LVP shows her around. In her interview, Teddi says it’s like a zoo castle, and wonders if unicorns are around the next corner. She meets the ponies. Next on the tour is LVP’s the closet. Teddi says her husband has the bigger closet, and LVP says that would be grounds for divorce. Dorit and Kyle arrive.

Kyle talks about how beautiful the vacation was. She raves about Croatia, and I want to cry. She says she had the genius idea of having the floors ripped up while they were away, thinking they’d be done when they got back. That didn’t happen. She says she’s going to have a party when they’re finished. Lunch is served. LVP says they’re supportive friends. They joke around, and Kyle says LVP is on the table now instead of being sneaky. LVP says Kyle holds her to a higher standard. Teddi wonders if LisaR knows a lot of the conversations revolve around her. In her interview, Teddi says there are two side to Dorit – the fun girl and the trash talker. She says one of them will turn on her soon enough. Everyone is laughing, but it’s probably true.

Teddi likes to keep active with the kids, and do real life activities. She says she lets the kids have a tablet when they go on a trip, and when they come back it’s like getting them off crack. She and Edwin take the kids on a jog on a mountain trail, with Edwin pushing a double-stroller. She wants them to have the childhood she didn’t since her parents divorced when she was nine, and wants them to have a joking banter about their parents’ love.

Giggy! LVP tells Hanky he’s a naughty boy. Bill and Susan from Beverly Hills Life magazine come over. LVP is editor and chief now, and thinks making decisions suits her perfectly. She shows them some jewelry samples she created with the fashion editor, and informs us that being without glamorous jewelry in Beverly Hills is a cardinal sin. She’s thinking of asking Dorit to model the jewelry. Susan says Dorit embodies the lifestyle, and thinks she must have modeling experience, since her social media is impeccable.

Erika tells us that she needs levels of clothing for Tokyo. It’s all about fun, and there are no fashion rules. LisaR says it’s crazy there. She goes to a store opening or something, where the girls are being featured. She says their careers have skyrocketed, unlike her own, which took forever. Erika gets all excited to hear the girls are doing Vogue Taiwan. LisaR says they’re categorized as millennials who are the children of famous people. The Kardashians opened the door, then the Hadids. They might get in the door quickly, but have to work hard, since the window will close in a hot second.

Dorit is getting her makeup done. She says it was ultra-last minute, but LVP says she doesn’t need a lot with her natural beauty. In her interview, Dorit wonders why LVP didn’t give her more of a heads up. She’s honored, but wants to look her best. She says it’s different from what she was told, but in spite of feeling uncomfortable, who could say no to LVP? She looks at the photos, but doesn’t like anything. She thinks she’s too shiny, but everyone else seems to love the pictures.

In Tokyo, Erika and LisaR wander around. LisaR loves that her daughters are killing it, but is bummed about them growing up. They’re not her babies anymore, and she’s glad Erika is there. She tells Erika about the horse show, and how she realized she’s done with the Dorit feud. Dorit doesn’t think she did anything wrong, but LisaR owned her part. Erika asks if she’s prepared to put it behind her for the sake of peace. Erika thinks LisaR has changed because her daughters are growing quickly, and she needs to set an example.

Kyle says it’s not the most opportune time to entertain. The floors still aren’t finished, and her OCD is in overdrive. She’s just going to keep the tequila flowing.

Erika dons a pink wig, and heads out with LisaR. They go to what LisaR calls a geisha house, but I think she means tea house. She proclaims it an authentic Japanese experience. They have to take off their shoes, and LisaR has to help Erika with her Gucci thigh-high boots. I’ve decided I don’t like watching LisaR eat. Both of them have some difficulty eating the local cuisine – things like whole baby fish – although they’re polite about it. LisaR wonders where her California roll is. Back in California. Erika talks about her son, who’s a police officer. She says you want them to be independent, but it freaks you out. LisaR says she’s been fortunate with no sexual harassment, but she knows what’s out there. She wants her girls to be able to trust their gut. A lady comes in with a stringed instrument and sings, while another woman dances. It’s kind of like the Japanese hula – a lot of hand gesturing.

The lights go out at Kyle’s place. Assistant Glen says everything is fine. Kyle says she’s always been worried about the power going out when she throws a party, and now it’s happening. Glen insists they’re not canceling. He says they’ll candle things up. Dorit and PK arrive first. Dorit says it’s one hundred degrees, and drinking is about the only thing that will get them through. The guests trickle in, while dog Storm makes a play for the buffet. Dorit wonders if there are any fans. I’m realizing that Dorit is a complainer. I hate that.

LVP comes bearing a hostess gift candle, which is more appropriate than she realized. Camille’s boyfriend David is coming. She met him at a Halloween party, which is pretty cool. Mauricio comes home. He says the neighbors have power, and asks if Kyle has called DWP, which I assume is their power company.

LisaR’s daughters meet her and Erika for dinner. Erika tells them that she and LisaR ate out of their comfort zone. They talk about a YouTuber who eats on camera, and show a clip of a girl eating pizza. Erika doesn’t understand what’s interesting about watching people eat obsessively. I’m not sure, but I don’t understand what’s interesting about this one in particular. In her interview, LisaR says she tries not to make food weird. The subject of porn comes up, and Delilah (or maybe it’s Ameliah) says LisaR’s sex book taught her some techniques. I vaguely remember this book, and puzzle over why anyone would want to read it. LisaR says if you’re going to learn it, learn it right. She reads aloud in her interview, and wonders how she could put these things in a book. She says your job as a parent, is to give your children the tools to conquer the world, but she didn’t think she’d give them this.

Mauricio is working on the power situation. Kyle asks if he’s sure he paid the bill. Camille introduces David around. LVP says it’s been a tough journey, and she’s happy for her. In her interview, Kyle says there’s Dorit on her own, and Dorit with a couple of shots. It’s like she has an evil twin. At the table, Dorit does an imitation of LVP. In her interview, Kyle thinks LVP is a little jealous of her connection with Dorit. Dorit claims to be the only one not scared of LVP. Camille says they’ve all seen each other at their worst, but Dorit says she hasn’t seen Kyle that way. She brings up her discussion with PK about having another baby. Camille says she doesn’t have a uterus, so she’s out. Dorit goes off on a tangent about Camille, starting with saying she’s naming a sex toy line after her. In her interview, Teddi says sometimes Dorit can be a show pony, and she tunes her out. Dorit yells that Camille is a stupid the-word-all-women-hate. In her interview, Camille says that everyone is allowed to act stupid sometimes, but Dorit has abused the privilege. At this point, she doesn’t care about her, but she cares what David thinks. Dorit kind of apologizes, and Mauricio tells her to shut up.

Next time, Lisa does a morning TV show, a found dog makes its way to Vanderpup Pets, Kyle cries with Dorit, and LisaR gossips about LVP.

😍 LVP was on Watch What Happens Live tonight, and – Giggy!

GiggyWWHL

January 8, 2018 – Eric Confesses, Jax is the Worst Person in the World, a Little Shep & Happy Birthday to the King

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Jordan tells Dante that every once in a while, justice prevails.

Finn gets ready to leave the hospital. Anna says she doesn’t recall a doctor telling him that he’s discharged. Finn says he’s a doctor. He needs to tell the police he killed Cassandra.

Nathan tells Maxie the genetic component has to have crossed her mind. She says of course, but she doesn’t think the baby will turn out like Faison. Lulu overhears, and wants to know what’s going on. Nathan says, might as well get used to saying it out loud. Caesar Faison is his father.

Carly comes home to Josslyn dancing to her iPod in a sexy red dress. She tells Carly it’s for the ball. The Mad Hatter’s Ball is the biggest school dance of the year. It’s in February, but she’s planning ahead. Carly suggests she leave the tags on in case she finds something better (which I translate to something less adult), and asks if Kim knows Oscar asked her to the dance. Josslyn says he hasn’t yet, but he’s coming over to talk about something important. She goes upstairs, and Carly says her baby is growing up fast.

Jason tells Sonny that Spinelli is in shock about his daughter having a step-sibling related to Faison, but he knows Spinelli will step up and make it okay for Georgie and Maxie. Sonny says he’s odd, but a nice guy. They agree they need to find someone to help find Faison’s other son.

Sam tells Drew he knows his own heart, and asks what he wants to do. He says love and honor her the rest of their days. She suggests they get married today. He likes it, and says let’s go to city hall.

Anna asks Finn why he doesn’t concentrate on getting better, and when a doctor agrees with his diagnosis, they can do New Year’s Eve. She tells him he’s not going to the police. He was drugged, and doesn’t recollect well. Finn says he and Cassandra were the only two there. She might be able to dismiss it, but he can’t.

Jordan asks Dante to leave copy of his paperwork on her desk. She’s leaving to see Anna. She feels badly about how she left things, and wants Anna and Finn to know the operation is over. It’s one less thing for them to worry about.

Finn wants to confess before the police come after him. Anna says he has no memory of hurting Cassandra, but even if he did, he was protecting himself. Finn says he was protecting her, and the police should understand. Anna says he’s not saying a damn thing about what happened. Sonny interrupts, asking if it’s a bad time. Anna tells Finn to get some rest, and goes into the hallway to talk to Sonny.  Jason says they need to talk to her about Faison’s son.

Lulu is like, omg, and asks if Obrecht has any idea where Faison is. Nathan says even if she did, it’s doubtful she’d tell them. Lulu explains that she wants to interview him, and Maxie tells her that an interview with Beyoncé would be easier to arrange, and the subject wouldn’t try to kill her. (Not unless she’s Becky with the good hair anyway.) Nathan says the baby has absorbed enough stress for one day, and he’s got to get to work. Maxie says she and the baby will be fine. When he’s gone, Maxie tells Lulu that she’s terrified. Faison is a sociopath, and what if the baby inherits his genes?

Carly asks Josslyn how things are with Oscar and Drew. Josslyn says fine, and Oscar went to the Quartermaines for Christmas. Carly mentions the CD that Oscar made for Josslyn, and asks if it’s significant. Josslyn is saved by the doorbell. It’s Oscar.

Drew says they have the documents together, and tells Sam, let’s go get hitched. He looks at something, and says they’ve got a problem. Sam asks, what now? and he tells her to read the fine print. They have to wait 24 hours after the license is issued. He asks if she knows any judges. She’s sure her mother does, but doesn’t want everyone to be alerted. She suggests they just get the license now. He tells her that he meant every vow the first time, and they kiss.

Carly makes herself scarce. Josslyn asks Oscar what’s so important?

Jason tells Anna it’s been confirmed that Faison has at least one son – Nathan. I love how Anna is relatively unfazed by this. Sonny explains how he walked in on a family situation, and Obrecht blurted it out. Anna wonders why they’re bringing this to her, and Jason says Nathan isn’t the son they’re looking for. Britt told them about a traitor who allowed Jason to stay alive. Sonny says a manuscript was dropped off to Faison that they know he didn’t write. They think the character of the protagonists’s son is PK Sinclair, and also Faison’s son who double-crossed him by keeping Jason alive. They have to find him before Faison does. Sonny asks if Anna knows of any other woman in Faison’s life. She can think of one in particular.

Dante tells Nathan the case is closed, and Nathan congratulates him. Dante asks if everything is okay, and Nathan says for now. He hopes it stays that way, now that he found out who his father is.

Lulu tells Maxie to calm down. Stress is no good for the baby. Maxie says neither is a psychopath for a grandfather. Lulu says she doesn’t think Maxie’s noble act is the way to go. Maxie asks what she’s supposed to do? Blubber to Nathan, and tell him the baby might end up like its grandfather? Lulu says the baby already has the best parents; it doesn’t matter. Maxie says it does.

Finn hears the door open, and says don’t even think of ordering him back to bed. Jordan says she wasn’t thinking about it, and he says he was just about to go see her. She tells him that she wants to talk to him about Cassandra Pearce. Who I keep wanting to call Cassandra Peterson (aka Elvira).

Maxie talks about recession genes skipping a generation, and Lulu tells her that she means recessive. She insists that Faison’s issues won’t be passed on through DNA. Nathan is amazing, and it comes from inside. That’s what he’ll pass on to the baby. Maxie wants to believe her, but wonders how she can be so sure.

Nathan tells Dante that he always knew something was off with his mother’s story, but it didn’t matter until he needed the medical records for the baby. He never imagined it’s what they’d find. His father is Caesar Faison. His mother was devoted to him, but knew Faison wasn’t father material, so she hid Nathan. Dante says he’s sorry, and Nathan says, so is he. His father is one of the ten most wanted criminals. He feels sick. How is he supposed to go forward and forget? Dante says he can’t; he has to learn to live with it.

Anna says Desiree was a French woman, devoted to Faison, who would have done anything for him, but she’s been dead for decades. Jason says if there was a son, there must be a record. Anna says she doubts it. Faison is a master at covering his tracks, so there’s probably no trace. Anna says she’ll let the WSB know what they’ve uncovered, and they should get on with their lives. Sonny says they want to make sure he’s gone for good, and she tells him to let the authorities handle it. Jason says they need to know, but she says that Faison already took five years from him; don’t let him take more. She leaves, and Sonny thinks there’s a helluva lot more she’s not saying.

Oscar wants to talk to Josslyn about something. He tells her that he finished the book about Edward last night. Josslyn wonders why he came over to talk about the book, and he says it’s super messed up. Lies, affairs, greed; he can’t believe they’re related. Josslyn asks if she shouldn’t have given it to him, but he says after reading it, he feels like a multi-faceted, interesting, legit person now. Carly shows up with snacks, and asks what going on? Josslyn says, absolutely nothing.

Jordan tells Finn that she thought Anna would be there. There’s been a development in the case. Finn says he knows why she’s here, and he’ll make it easier for the both of them. It’s time he told the truth. She asks if he’s making an official statement. He says he is, and she asks if he’s in shape to do that. He says he has to get it out. The memories aren’t clear, but he’s pretty sure – Anna cuts in, telling Jordan what he’s trying to say, is that he went after Cassandra, but was too incapacitated to do it. Jordan says that pans out. They know who drugged her and left her to die.

Dante isn’t comparing his and Nathan’s situations, saying Sonny is deeply flawed, but he does have a code and a conscience. He has no idea what it’s like to go through what Nathan is. Dante tells Nathan about being undercover, and not knowing Sonny was his father, until Sonny tried to kill him. Dante was filled with rage, and didn’t know what to do with it. He didn’t want to take it out on his mother, and had to choose. He chose the things they shared, and rejected what they didn’t. Nathan is a grown-ass man (Assman Landers – sorry, I had to). He knows who he is. He already rejected Faison without trying. He grew up privileged, and could have used that to his benefit, but chose to be a good man. That’s not going to change.

Lulu tells Maxie that the baby will grow up safe, healthy, and happy. She can’t wait to meet the individual they’ll raise. She knows the both of them, and knows it’s a safe, stable home. Maxie says like with Charlotte, and Lulu says that’s why she fought for custody. The Cassadines are a nightmare, but there’s a lot to nurture vs nature. Maxie is grateful for Lulu’s friendship. She’s even grateful that Obrecht gave Nathan to her sister to raise. Lulu says, so Faison doesn’t know? Maxie says she’s got to go, and jets.

Carly asks Josslyn if she’s sure everything is okay, and Josslyn says it’s fine. Oscar asks if he did something wrong. Josslyn says no, he’s just being complex and multi-faceted. He asks if they’re having a fight, and she says maybe. He tells her he’s sorry, and she asks for what? He says he did something, but he’s not sure what. Josslyn tells him to go. He leaves, and Carly comes back. Josslyn tells her that Oscar is a jerk, and Carly asks what he did. Josslyn says he didn’t ask her to the ball. The doorbell rings. Josslyn doesn’t want to see Oscar. Carly answers, and says she’ll want to see this. Oscar comes in wearing a giant Mad Hatter hat, and says some lines from Alice in Wonderland. He asks Josslyn to the ball.

Sonny talks to Britt on the phone, telling her the time frame is the late 80s or early 90s. He knows it’s like a needle in a haystack, but it’s all they have. He tells Jason that if anyone can find Desiree, it’s Britt. He thinks the kindest thing for Anna would be to put a bullet in Faison’s head, but they have to find him first. Jason wants to make sure he never hurts anyone else; the answers won’t change anything. Sonny asks if that’s because Sam is staying with Drew.

Drew tells Sam it’s no big deal. They just have to wait a little longer.

Jordan says Cassandra’s accomplice, Eric, confessed. He didn’t know her intentions, and had no stomach for murder. Finn says, but he tried to murder Cassandra? Jordan says that after Anna and Valentin overpowered him – Anna interjects that it was just her doing the overpowering – Eric went back to Anna’s house to confront Cassandra. He told her that he was out. Cassandra attacked him with a syringe, and he turned the tables. He heard Anna come in, and he hid. Anna asks if he moved the body, and Jordan says that’s his statement. This chapter is closed for the two of them. They’re free to live their lives, and see what the new year holds. Anna thanks her for coming in person,

After Jordan leaves, Finn asks Anna if she believes it. She doesn’t know. She didn’t think Eric had a conscience, but all she cares about is that it cleared him. Finn thinks maybe Jordan is right, and they should see what the new year holds, starting with getting out of there.

Sam tells Drew there’s no time like the present.

Sonny says Jason didn’t mention anything about New Year’s Eve. He has nothing to say, and Sonny says that Carly said something happened between him and Sam. Before Jason can answer, Sam calls. She needs to see Jason, and asks him to come to the office; the sooner the better. He tells Sonny that he has to go.

Sam tells Drew that Jason is on his way. Drew asks if she wants him there, or does she want to do it alone?

Josslyn asks if Oscar set her up, leading her on to crush her, then asking her to the ball? He says he started second guessing himself, and was afraid she thought it might be lame. She didn’t mention the dance, so he thought she wasn’t interested. She’s unique, and maybe it’s not cool enough for her, so he panicked. When she kicked him out, he realized he was being dumb and he’d never know if he didn’t ask, so he figured he’d go big or go home. Josslyn says he really is a little mad, but like Alice said, all the best people are, so she’ll be his date.

Nathan says Faison is dangerous, even more so if he knows he has a grandchild. He needs to find Faison and shut him down. Dante says Faison hasn’t lived this long being stupid. He needs to do what he can to smoke him out and put him behind bars.

Maxie goes to see Sonny. She apologizes for her rudeness, and starts to babble, saying she needs to tell him something. He suggests she take a breath, telling her breathing is good for the baby. She says what’s also good for the baby is him swearing he won’t tell anyone that Faison is the grandfather.

Josslyn puts on the hat, and Oscar says it looks better on her. Carly comes back in, and says it looks like everything worked out. Oscar says he’d like to take Josslyn to the ball, and Carly suggests she not wear the hat. He has to go, but he’s glad he asked her. Josslyn says she’s glad she said yes. She walks Oscar to the door, saying it’s going to be a special night. Not just the dance. She has something that’s going to blow his mind. Carly overhears.

Sam tells Drew it’s simpler if she handles it alone, She wants to accomplish it with minimal friction. He says he’ll be in his office, and she tells him that she has this.

Maxie is freaked that Anna knows, but Sonny says she’s an experienced WSB agent, and she’s family. If anyone can protect the baby, it’s her. Maxie says it’s a deep, dark secret, and already three people know. Sonny swears no one is hearing it from him or Jason. She has his word. She says Spinelli promised not to say anything until he needs to tell Georgie. Sonny tells her not to borrow trouble, but she says it’s already here. If Faison finds out, who knows what he’ll do.

Nathan says he can’t change past, but can put stop to it now. Dante says he’s with him, and goes to finish up. Lulu comes in, and says Nathan must have contacts and leads she doesn’t know about, and vice versa. How about working together to bring Faison down for good?

Dante tells Jordan that he’s leaving for the day, and asks how Anna is. She says for a moment, it seemed like Finn was confessing, but it’s not possible. One look at him, and you could tell he couldn’t swat a fly, let alone carry a body out and dump it. They have a signed confession, and everybody is happy. Dante doesn’t look too happy though.

Anna tells Finn he can’t leave without a doctor signing off, but he says he needs to get out. She’s not fighting him if he insists on leaving, but if he does, she insists on him coming home with her.

Sam looks at a picture of her and Drew. Jason arrives at Sam’s office. They give each other a long soap opera look.

Tomorrow, Ned says he’s not running for mayor, Michael sees Nelle for who she is, and Sam tells Jason that she needs a divorce.

Vanderpump Rules

The entire SUR tribe of servers gathers at Schwartz and Katie’s apartment. Tom says Schwartz is such a good friend, he’s trying to take the heat off of Jax. Schwartz tells Jax that apparently he got drunk and made out with a chick. Katie comes home, and says she didn’t remember inviting Jax, so he goes back to his apartment on his motorized cooler. I’m not kidding. I’m watching this big guy motor down the hall, sitting on a cooler. He tells us it makes for a quick getaway. Jax is like a cartoon character.

With the gang all there, Katie says it’s the last time Schwartz is using the excuse of getting wasted, If he wants to be married to her, he’s not drinking like that anymore. Schwartz tells her that she’s not going to tell him what to do. Wrong move. She stands up, and says she can’t believe he’s the same guy she married, and everyone wept over their vows. She trusted him, and feels like she doesn’t even know him. Wait. Who’s that extra dude on the couch?

At SUR, Lauren asks Lala if she remembers how everything works, and Lala says Lauren will probably see her looking confused. She thanks Lisa for having her back, and Lisa tells her to be consistent. If Lala runs away, she’s not chasing her.

Jax asks Brittany if she’s still ready for the housewarming party. Jax thinks it will make it harder for his friends to talk sh*t about him if they drink his booze and eat his food. Brittany’s goal is to have a night where they hang out with their friends, and the focus isn’t on the relationship. Katie asks Lala if she can step away and talk. She’s wondering what possessed Lala to talk about Schwartz’s indiscretion.

Katie tells Lala she thought they were cool, and asks why Lala is talking to Scheana about her relationship. Lala says Scheana told her Katie had been making comments about her relationship, and she felt like her dukes were up again. Katie says she can’t argue with it, but thinks Scheana took the opportunity to throw her under the bus. She apologizes to Lala. Katie wants the deets, and Lala says he kept accidentally calling her friend “Bubba.” In her interview, Katie says it makes her stomach turn. She says the marriage has been bliss, and she wants him to get his sh*t together.

Lisa arrives at the bar, and asks for half a glass of rosé, which is like a full glass in some bars. She and Katie go somewhere private. Katie tells her that Schwartz claims he blacked out and doesn’t remember. Lisa says a partnership is like a marriage, and she’s not putting up with the BS Katie is. Katie doesn’t want it to ruin Schwartz’s opportunity, but Lisa says she’s going to talk to him, and he has every reason to be scared.

Harrison! Lisa gives the flower arranger instructions on how to make it look better. She tells Stassi she just got a ticket for not quite stopping at a stop sign, and she’s kind of guilty. She gives Stassi kudos for Guillermo’s party. She says it’s going to be Harrison’s birthday soon, but Stassi’s not there yet. Stassi tells Lisa about the housewarming party. Lisa can’t begin to understand it. Stassi says Brittany should be looking for a new apartment, not warming this one. Despite her feelings, she wants to go, and Lisa says nothing has changed.

The guys go to a painting class. Schwartz says it’s like a more mellow version of a Hunter S. Thompson adventure. A huge question mark hangs over my head. Schwartz isn’t drinking today because he’s going to see Katie later. Tom breaks out some absinthe, and convinces him to take one shot. Like James, Schwartz calls it the green fairy. We flash back to Jax’s night of drinking absinthe with James. I flash back to a night of drinking it with my friend Jane. We ended up singing show tunes in the park. Tom paints a penis on his apron. Jax asks Schwartz how it’s going, and Tom asks about Brittany. Jax says she’s out with the girls right now.

Brittany tells the girls she’s doing better. She was hoping Jax would be a better person, even though her brain tells her he can’t.

Schwartz asks if Jax is on probation, but Jax says more like community service. He asks how it’s possible Schwartz doesn’t remember, but Schartz says he told Katie he’d take a lie detector test. Their paintings are actually not bad.

Brittany talks about the party with Katie and Kristen. She says she doesn’t really know Lala. Katie says Lala claims Scheana triggered her. In her interview, Katie says Scheana’s boyfriend is also playing games. Kristen says Jen from SUR also works in another restaurant, and saw Rob kiss a girl there. When she pulled up a picture of him and Scheana, asking if she was his girlfriend, he was vague. She thinks he’s going to break Scheana’s heart. Ohh, he must be the mystery guy from the couch.

Scheana says she finally feels like she’s with a man. She’s finally with someone who works. Tom and Ariana come for dinner to new boyfriend Rob’s place, where Scheana has hired a private chef. They marvel over the house. Tom jokes that it’s almost as nice as their place. Scheana says it’s the opposite of her relationship with Shay, and we flash back to them eating take-out on the coffee table. Rob makes a pretentious toast, and Tom is impressed. He says he’s not Rob-sessed, but he gets why Scheana is with him. In her interview, Ariana isn’t sure which of the three of them is more in love with Rob. Rob says dessert is like sex, and Scheana says good thing he’s getting both tonight. Tom mumbles to Ariana, asking if they can be on that level. Scheana has a countdown app on her phone that tells her how long until she’s officially divorced. A little over a month to go now.

Schwartz brings his painting of Tom home. He says it’s his way of saying sorry. Katie wonders why he didn’t paint her instead. He confesses to his one absinthe shot. Katie says she talked to Lala, and tells him about calling the girl “Bubba.” She says Lisa is actually upset. She asked him to be a partner, and is concerned about him getting drunk to the point of blacking out. He promises not to be douchey, but he can’t imagine not hanging out with the guys. Katie says they’re married; he’s not married to his friends. He thinks that’s a stupid statement, so obviously doesn’t understand what married means.

Ariana and Lala go shopping. Ariana is glad to have her back at SUR. Lala says Brittany is a bigger person than she is. She wishes every woman would know their worth. Ariana says there’s no actual consequences, and Lala thinks dogs should be put in the doghouse. She asks Ariana how it’s going with Tom, and Ariana says she doesn’t really want anyone touching her who-ha. She explains that she’s always had issues with her body, and they were reinforced by an abusive relationship. When they started dating, everything was exciting, and it wasn’t there, but now it’s taking up space in her head. Lala says she literally talks to and thanks every part of her body every morning. She thinks Ariana should get into that routine, and says she’s perfection.

Schwartz and Katie bring their dogs to Vanderpup Pets for some grooming. Lisa asks Schwartz to talk upstairs. He feels like a dead man walking, and says it figures his last meal was a Lean Pocket, not even a Hot Pocket. He tells Lisa that he knows he took it too far, but doesn’t remember anything; it’s an unfortunate, sloppy accident. Lisa says she’s not just invested in his relationship, but they have a partnership. It’s like a marriage, and you have to treat each other with respect. She wonders if he’s going to tell her he blacked out, banged the waitress, doesn’t know where the money is, and lost the keys. It’s time to grow the eff up. He says he’s taking it seriously, and she tells him to take his wife seriously. In her interview, Lisa says Schwartz nearly woke up without his wife, and next time, it will be without his business partner. Schwartz apologizes Katie.

Kristen and Scheana help Brittany set up for the party. Brittany says it was Jax’s idea, but her girls are coming, and she knows they have her back. Kristen tells Scheana about Rob kissing a hostess at another restaurant. She showed him a photo of the two of them and asked if it wasn’t his girlfriend, and he mumbled no. Scheana isn’t believing it. She says they hardly kiss. He’s not a kisser, and she finds it not believable. I don’t care how nice his house is. If a man wasn’t a kisser, I’d dump him immediately. Kristen says Katie felt attacked, and it was brought to her attention. Scheana thought it was her obligation as Lala’s friend to tell her about what Katie said. In her interview, she thinks Katie is the devil. Kristen says Scheana is doing that fake thing, but Scheana says she’s known Rob for eleven years, and he’d never do something like that. Uh-huh.

James brings a toilet paper cake, since Jax is a piece of sh*t. Brittany’s only rule is that everyone has to be drunk.

Schwartz thinks he needs a new haircut. One that reflects how he used to black out, but is reformed now, even though he still likes to get drunk. Katie does not find his joking amusing.

Drinking games happen. Katie thinks Schwartz looks like a kid with chicken pox watching his friends play outside. Scheana is texting with Rob that what Kristen claims happened is BS. Jax thinks she wouldn’t notice Rob unless he was in the background of one of her selfies. Scheana talks to Stassi about how the first month without Shay was difficult, but now she’s looking forward to getting a house with Rob one day. In her interview, Stassi says Scheana is acting like they’re best friends, and her babbling is the reason they’re not close friends. She says nothing truthful or real. Scheana babbles some more, and Stassi needs another cocktail.

Lots of shotskis are hoisted. James raps while Tom is the rhythm section. Jax talks to Rob privately about how he wanted attention, and now he’s in a bad place and wants to fix it. Brittany comes in, and asks what’s happening? She thinks Jax should be talking to her, and says he’s treated her like sh*t. Lala and Kristen listen in. Brittany says she put her belief in Jax because she loves him. Jax applauds, and says the Oscar goes to Brittany. Oh boy, was that a bad move. Brittany walks out, saying eff ya’ll. Ugh. I can’t stand Jax.

Brittany goes back to the party. Lala tells Ariana about Jax yelling at Brittany. She tells Ariana that Faith had audio on the phone from when they got together, with Jax saying he’s never going to marry her. James had gotten it, and sent it to her. In his interview, James says it’s awkward, because he’s friends with Faith and Jax. Brittany is a sweet girl, and it’s a mess. Lala wonders if she should tell Brittany. Ariana thinks Jax is a despicable human being. Most definitely. Lala says Jax doesn’t deserve any woman, much less one like Brittany, but she doesn’t want to ruin Brittany’s night. Ariana asks if she’d rather ruin Brittany’s life. Good point, but they might want to wait until a moment of sobriety.

But no. Lala calls her over. Ariana says she loves Brittany so much. Lala asks to talk to her for a second, and Ariana keeps saying she’s sorry. Brittany is like, what happened now? and Ariana tells her about the audio. Brittany says, let’s do it, and listens. Jax is all happy with his bros in the kitchen, but not for long. Brittany says, are you effing kidding me? and storms in, calling Jax a piece of sh*t. She tells him rot in hell, and get the eff out.

Next time, DJ James is back, Brittany wants Jax gone, and Tom screams at Ariana.

👱 The girls on RelationShep have moved to private quarters, much to everyone’s relief. I have to admit to my hat being off to Cameran, who I sometimes don’t like too much on Southern Charm. It was her idea, and shows that they’re both concerned about the comfort of the ladies. Shep called it quits with young Kylie, who he realized he has little in common with. He told her that she’s still “green,” and needs to explore the world for herself, and he’s more of a pirate who likes some arrgh! in his life. Now, only Priscila and Peyton are left, and I’m leaning toward Priscila.

🚓  I need a partner in crime, and you’re the law. – Shep giving Kylie the big kiss off

🎶 🎤 Happy Birthday to The King of Rock and Roll 👑

When I was a child, ladies and gentlemen, I was a dreamer. I read comic books, and I was the hero of the comic book. I saw movies, and I was the hero in the movie. So every dream that I ever dreamed, has come true a hundred times… I learned very early in life that, “Without a song, the day would never end. Without a song, a man ain’t got a friend. Without a song, the road would never bend.” So I keep singing a song.Elvis Presley, from the Elvis Presley newsletter

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Elvis

 

January 2, 2017 – Griff Reveals Ava’s Gift, Dorit Celebrates a Birthday & Not Quite Feeling the Fab

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

It’s still midnight on New Year’s Eve in Port Charles. Sonny asks Carly what she did exactly.

Jason and Sam are where we left them, kissing on the deck of the Haunted Star as fireworks happen.

Griff calls Ava from the hospital, and says he wishes he was there with her. He anticipates good things in 2018 for them. He tells her happy new year, and says he’ll see her later. She picks up her hat, horn, and coat, and dashes out.

On the phone at the MetroCourt, Nina says she got the text, but it’s not a party without them, so get there already. I’m confused as to who she’s leaving the message for. Valentin?

Finn asks Cassandra where Anna is. She says Anna is indisposed for the moment, but she and Finn have some unfinished business. Omg, she’s like something out of James Bond. I love it.

Anna is indisposed with Valentin. They’re tied together, back to back. Eric says they’ll be dead in an hour, and Valentin tells Anna, happy new year.

Sam and Jason stare at each other for a while, and Jason says he’ll see if he can get the engine started. He thinks it can’t be much different than a motorcycle, but Sam says it can. She asks who used to be a salvage diver? That would be her. Drew shows up, and asks what’s going on?

Nina tells Carly that there’s something she needs to do, so if Valentin arrives, tell him to contact her. Sonny won’t let it go until Carly tells him what she did. She says she went to Aurora to see if they liked the champagne, and happened to hear that Drew and Sam would be on the boat by themselves. She sent Jason on a wild goose chase, thinking he was meeting Sonny who had information about Faison. She tells Sonny that the ends justify the means, and he tells her it’s not going to end well.

At the hospital, Ava overhears Griff telling Kiki thanks for sticking with it. He knows it’s not easy. Kiki says she’s always had a hard time keeping things from her mom, but it’s worth it. They hug. Ava pops out, and says apparently, they’re busy. Kiki asks if she’s okay, and she says, definitely not.

Anna says it’s in Eric’s best interest to let her go. Valentin tells him the WSB doesn’t take kindly to having their agents killed. Anna tells him he’s just a lackey; it’s Cassandra they’re after. They take turns telling him how relentless the WSB will be, but he says Cassandra isn’t to be underestimated.

Finn tells Cassandra that they have no business until he knows where Anna is. Cassandra says she’s tied up at the moment. BA-DUM-CHH! He’s in over his head. Did Anna say she’d protect him, or did he think he could take her on himself? Finn keeps asking where Anna is, and Cassandra smashes the champagne glass she’s been sipping from. She tells him that he has two choices; do what she says, or die.

Eric leaves Anna and Valentin alone, and Valentin says he thought the WSB were on their way to put Cassandra in custody. He tells her this is her fault for tapping the phone with an elementary bug. She says it helped them to hunt down her operation, and it was a success. Valentin says he would shake her hand, but…  He tells her that had she put him in the loop, he might have made a different decision. Cassandra was sure that he planted the bug, and he had to tap dance his ass off to convince her it wasn’t him. She connected the dots, and realized it was Finn. I’m actually surprised that Cassandra has gotten as far as she has, since her decisions aren’t the best.

Cassandra tells Finn, that as her doctor, he knows she shouldn’t get riled up. He says some of his patients might die without his care, and she accuses him of having a God complex. He won’t be leaving entirely without notice. Anna will send a note to the hospital that they’re running off someplace romantic. By the time anyone notices they’ve disappeared, Anna will be disposed, and the two of them will be ensconced in their new venture in China. Finn says he’ll do whatever she wants, but leave Anna out. She has a daughter and grandchildren. Cassandra asks where they live? She would love to meet them. If she had a mustache, she’d be twirling it.

Kiki tells Ava that they were discussing a patient, and Ava asks if their discussions typically end in a hug. Kiki says she’s done with it, and recommends Ava get counseling. She has a problem, a need to control Kiki’s life, and she’s acting out. Ava says she doesn’t control Kiki, but Kiki asks how she can say that after Morgan? She suggests Ava seek help before she ruins someone else’s life or her own. Kiki leaves, and Griff says Ava was happy when they spoke on the phone; what happened? She says he’s cozied up with her daughter, and she can’t compete with someone young and beautiful with no scars. Griff says there’s no competition, but Ava says every time he looks at her, he’ll see imperfections, and she can’t bear it. Seriously, they could have at least made her look like she really had scars if she’s going to obsess about this.

Kiki gets a text from Dillon, who sends her a picture of the bus ticket from last New Year’s Eve. Nina blows into the hospital, saying she needs to cover all her bases. She asks Kiki if there have been any unconscious accident victims. Kiki says since it’s New Year’s Eve, there have been several, and asks if she’s looking for someone in particular. Nina says yes, her husband.

Sonny tells Carly that if she keeps poking the bear, it’s going to blow up in her face. She says Sonny wants Jason to be with Sam too, but he says that’s for Jason to decide, not her. Carly says it’s a mess, and Sonny says it’s going to get messier.

Sam says Drew wouldn’t believe the comedy of errors that happened. The boat started to leave on autopilot, and she hit the emergency shut off, but it also cut off the engines. Drew says he was worried that she was out there her on own, and asks why Jason is there. Jason explains that he was supposed to meet someone on the boat, but they weren’t there. Sam tells Drew she tried calling him, but there was no service. He tells her that his car wouldn’t start, and this has Carly written all over it. She wants to rekindle Sam and Jason’s romance. Jason says he’ll speak to Carly, and Drew says while he’s doing that, tell her to back off or she’s going to create a real problem for both of them.

Carly wants Jason to be happy. He’s spent his life making sacrifices for others, especially her and Sonny. He lost five years, his wife, his kids, his entire life, and everyone is acting like it’s wrong for him to take them back. Sonny tells her that Jason has to decide what makes him happy. She whines that he won’t decide for himself, and Sonny says she’ll have to learn to live with it.

Sam tells Drew to blame her; she’s the one who pulled the emergency stop. Drew asks about the tow master, and Jason says he was called. Jason leaves to take the boat Drew arrived in back to shore, and make sure the tug is on the way. Drew tells Sam that Jason sat back and let it happen. He’s not honest or brave enough to pursue her, and let Carly do it. Sam says Carly had no right to interfere, but Jason had nothing to do with it. Carly didn’t get what she wanted; nothing happened.

Griff follows Ava back to the apartment, asking what she meant by not the first time. Ava says when he and Kiki left the other day, she followed them. He asks why, and she tells him it’s difficult for her to trust people. He says he just needs her to trust him. He and Kiki share a love of medicine. Ava asks if that’s all, and he wonders if she’s accusing him of having an affair with her daughter. He doesn’t know what to say. Ava says she doesn’t blame him. What man in his right mind would choose her over Kiki? Griff says he would. He’s disappointed, and asks when she’s going to realize he cares for her more than he ever thought possible?

Anna works to free Valentin, while he gripes about her compromising the project because of her infatuation with Finn. Anna tells him to stop moving around. Finn risked a lot, and if wasn’t for him –  Valentin finishes that they wouldn’t be in danger. She says Finn deserves his gratitude, not his disdain, just because he’s carrying a torch. Valentin suddenly says she’s wearing a bracelet. It might be their only chance for escape. She can use the sharp edges to work through the bonds.

Finn says Cassandra didn’t get what she wanted, and now she’s pissed. Cassandra says he was playing with fire. He tells her they both know the WSB will get her. Add killing Anna to the list, and it will be even worse. She asks if he thought it would be easy. Does he think he can say some harsh words, and she’ll crack? He asks where Anna is, and Cassandra says he seems tense. Let her help him relax. She blows some powder from a compact into his face. He asks what she just did, and she tells him it’s just the beginning of his pain.

Michael arrives at the MetroCourt, and tells Carly and Sonny that Monica ran tests on Nelle. Everything is fine with her and the baby. Carly calls Nelle a liar, but Michael says she does have low blood pressure. Monica said she needs to take it easy, and lower her stress. Carly says don’t look at her; Nelle brought it on herself. She gets that Michael needs to protect the baby, but he also needs to keep his eyes wide open, and never trust Nelle. Jason joins them, and Sonny steers Michael away to let them talk.

Carly asks how mad Jason is, and he just shakes his head.

Sam tells Drew that Carly doesn’t run her life; she does. She knows he’s upset. Drew says he’s very upset. He wanted to spend New Year’s Eve with the person he loves most, but she spent it with her ex. He sees the tequila and dominoes on the bar, and says they could have done anything else. Sam gets that it’s a complicated situation, but does he believe she loves him? He does, but doesn’t want her pretending she has no feelings for Jason. She says she isn’t pretending. She’s like any other widow. She loved her husband, lost him, and fell in love with someone else. Drew has a past too; he just doesn’t remember it. Drew says she’s not a widow, and Jason isn’t lost; he’s right there. Sam understands that it makes things more difficult, but it doesn’t change her feelings for him. She’s in love with him, and wants to be with him. Drew says he loves her enough to step aside if she wants to be with Jason. He tells her to be honest with herself. Sam says when she met Jason, she was a mess. He helped her become the person she is today, and she’ll always be grateful, but that person loves Drew. She’s marrying him again because she wants to share her life with him.

Griff says he sees Ava’s imperfections, but they have nothing to do with her scars. She’s a powerful, beautiful, brave woman. Ava says she’s the opposite of brave. He points out the hardships she’s endured, but she says she caused them herself. Griff says she repented for them in a million ways. He sees the imperfect perfection that is Ava Jerome, and wants her to see it. She says it probably sounds shallow, but she thinks her scars will always be a barrier. She’s not even comfortable in her own skin, and it’s not fair to either one of them. Griff refuses to accept that, and says it’s high time he gave Ava her Christmas present.

Kiki tells Nina that no one matching Valentin’s description is there. She asks if Nina checked with the police. Nina says the police aren’t interested in helping Valentin, but she knows someone who is.

Valentin is getting impatient, but Anna says she’s going as fast as she can. She says he really does care about his wife and daughter. It’s not just lip service; he actually feels it. He says they’re his whole world, and she says they changed him. He’s still contemptible, but contemptible with a heart. He starts talking about Finn, and Anna says she’s free. Valentin says love will do that, but she says, no, she’s free, and takes the bonds off her ankles. They hear footsteps, and Anna waits behind the door. Eric comes in, wondering where she is, but she slams him up against the wall and knocks him out. She cuts Valentin loose, knocking over the loudest metal chair ever. She gives him Eric’s gun, and tells him to get to his wife and daughter. They wish each other good luck, and Anna jets.

Finn is all weird and dizzy. Cassandra says it was a concentrate of the opiate she’s marketing; a strong dose, but not lethal. She asks if it feels like old times, and he staggers around. She tells him that she knows drugs have a greater impact on former addicts, so she played it safe-ish, whetting his appetite. He can make the opiates, and she can pay him in the product. What a perfect combination – addict and chemist. He says he won’t do it, and she holds up a syringe, saying he’s a milligram away from an OD. Or should she save it for Anna? He lets out a yell, and rushes her.  I just have to say it. His reaction to what’s supposed to be an opioid doesn’t seem correct. He seems more like he’s drunk or on Xanax.

Griff tells Ava that he and Kiki have been spending time together, and keeping something from her, but it’s not what she thinks. He’s been studying Klein’s formula, and using the lab to find another angle through legal means. Kiki volunteered to be his lab assistant. Ava wonders how she can she thank them, after she accused them of sneaking around? Griff says they didn’t want to get her hopes up, in case it didn’t pan out. He showed the research to another doctor, who agreed to reexamine the protocol. Griff wants her to know he didn’t do it for himself. He thinks she’s beautiful the way she is, but he did it for her, and so did Kiki. Ava says she’s overwhelmed. No one has ever gone to these lengths for her before. He tells her get used to it, and kisses her. She thinks she might, and kisses him.

On the phone, Kiki tells Dillon that she loved the picture, and will never forget the bus ride. She misses him, and hates being apart too. She says LA is too far to go right now, and then says, halfway? She tells him he did not already buy the ticket, and when he convinces her that he did, she tells him to let her think about it. She can stay there, eat old take-out, and study by herself or study on the plane. Omaha, here she comes.

Michael tells Sonny that he has to make sure the baby grows up safe, happy, and loved; that’s the number one priority. He hopes to be half the father Sonny has been, but Sonny says he’ll be better. Sonny respects the man Michael has become. He’ll love his kid, and in the end, that’s all that matters. I’ll just say it. Nelle is the most interesting part about Michael.

Jason tells Carly that he’s not mad, but he needs her to hear him, not just listen. He loves Sam, and always will. He wants her to be happy, and she’s happy with Drew; they’re a family. Carly tries to interrupt, but Jason stops her. He says every time they’re together, it hurts Sam. He knows Carly meant well, but he’s asking her to stop.

Ava and Griff bask in the afterglow. As he sleeps, she says soon she’ll be whole again, and maybe he’ll fall in love with her the way she’s falling in love with him. She snuggles against him.

Sam tells Drew that Carly can do her worst, but it’s not going to change anything. Drew asks if she doesn’t think Jason wants her back. She says maybe he does, but he can’t offer her the life that she and the kids need. She’s not the same girl anymore. She can’t be hanging off the back of a motorcycle, or picking locks in her spare time. None of them are responsible for what happened. It was done to them, but they are responsible for how they deal with it. She tells him not to look for fights. They won. Drew says it’s never been about winning, but about loving her. She asks if he does, and he says, yes. She says, good, because she loves him too. They kiss. He asks if she wants to wait on the tug, and she tells him that she’ll wait anytime, anywhere with him. He suggests fixing the engine, reminding her that he was in the Navy. He tells her, happy new year, and they kiss again.

Carly says she, Sonny, and Jason haven’t had a New Year’s Eve toast yet. She gives them glasses of champagne. Jason asks to do the toast. He tells them he’s been meaning to say thank you for believing him. He felt lost, but as soon as he saw them and their recognition, it was okay. He loves them, and is sorry he was gone, but happy to be home. Carly says he’s not nearly as happy as they are. They clink glasses, and she and Jason drink at the exact same time, in the exact same way. It’s kind of cute/funny.

Valentin runs into the MetroCourt. He tells Nina sorry he’s late. She says she was thinking the worst, and he hugs her.

Anna comes walks into her house to find Cassandra unconscious on the floor, with the syringe sticking out of her. Finn stumbles out, and falls. She tells him to stay with her.

Tomorrow, Franco won’t hang the painting of the brothers in the house, Doc says he has the key to Laura’s future, and Finn has to tell Anna something.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Ken wants Giggy cloned. Giggy! LVP says he’s only eight, and has more life in him than Ken does. Ha-ha!

Dorit organizes her sunglasses. PK asks how Vegas was, and she says there were moments when she connected with Erika. He asks how it went with LisaR. Dorit tells him that she apologized all over the place. She has precaution [sic], but PK thinks she should invite them both to her party if she’s inviting one.

Loud construction is going on at Kyle’s house. Kyle says Croatia couldn’t come at a better time. Mauricio wanted to get a new house, but Kyle loves the one they live in so much, they decided to just change it up. Now they’re living in renovation hell. She doesn’t care what happens, as long as there are floors when she gets back.

Teddi meets LisaR for lunch. We flash back through LisaR’s problems with Kim, and she says she’s trying to get to know people more slowly now. They discuss how expensive schools are. In her interview, Teddi says she was warned about LisaR, but she’s making her own assessment. She tells us that there’s a lot of keeping up with the Joneses in Beverly Hills, but she’s from South Carolina and doesn’t care. She doesn’t even know who the Joneses are. She explains to LisaR how horses kept her on a good path when she was growing up. They gave her empathy, and something to focus on. She invites LisaR to a show she’s doing.

PK asks LVP to create a dinner for Dorit’s birthday, and she’s happy to host. Giggy!

As Dorit gets ready, PK sings Happy Birthday, and presents her with a cake, daughter Phoenix on his shoulder.

At the dinner, Teddi introduces her cute and personable husband Edwin to LVP, who pronounces him not bad. LisaR and Erika enter next – #WhereIsHarry – and Dorit arrives in a barely there dress. LisaR considers her invite a big plus. The last time she saw PK, they had some bumps. We flash back to the reunion, and it was more like mountains. Camille joins them with girlfriend Kimber. I’m glad we’re seeing more of her this season. While the appetizers are being passed, PK leads Jagger in, bearing balloons and wearing a tiny tuxedo. In her interview, Dorit says Jagger is her heart and soul. She loves that PK dressed him up, but also loves the Birkin he got her. Jagger tells Erika she’s the bad guy. In her interview, Dorit swears he didn’t hear it from her. Then he calls LVP a bad guy. LVP says he was spot-on until then. He’s having a bit of a bad guy fixation.

Edwin says he used to be a background dancer. In her interview, Teddi says he has stories. Teddi tells Erika there was a moment in Vegas where she felt dismissed by her. Erika apologizes, and in her interview, Teddi says regardless of feeling uncomfortable, she’ll tell someone if something is bothering her. LVP declares Vegas a nice experience. LisaR gets up to give a toast, saying it’s a miracle she was invited, and they’re in a really nice place. She thanks Dorit for including her, and wishes her happy birthday. In her interview, she says it shows how willing she is to move forward.

Fast party. Erika meets with her co-author, Bryan. Her book is currently titled Pretty Mess. She says it’s a chance to tell her story the way she sees it. She liked some of Bryan’s work, and reached out to him for help. She talks about not meeting her dad until she was twenty-five, when he invited her over for Thanksgiving. She tells Bryan about seeing a toddler there, and asking about her, but her father said neither he nor his wife had children. Um…  She says he’s never acknowledged her, and she’s only seen him three times. Bryan asks if it was a break up or petered out, and she says they both seemed to lose interest. In her interview, she tells us that you can’t go back and repair what didn’t exist. She tells Bryan that it’s a parents decision to stay in a child’s life, and her ex has been great with their son. Bryan asks how she doesn’t have negative emotions after coming out of that experience. She’s not sure, and says it is what it is.

Ponies! Hanky and Panky! LisaR goes to Villa Rosa, where LVP is cleaning poop off the footbridge. Dorit joins them, as they’re going to Teddi’s horse show together. In her interview, Dorit says she’s the only one dressed appropriately. LisaR is dressed like a cowboy, and LVP isn’t attired correctly either, in basic black pants and a blouse. On the bus, LisaR wants to see LVP’s license. She claims to be three years older than LisaR, and she wants proof that LVP isn’t really seventy-five.

Teddi says there are few things she loves more than riding. She introduces herself to the horse, Virtue, who’s owned by one of her trainers. Virtue is gorgeous, brown with a white spot on her head. Teddi says horses are more expensive than a child.

Dorit says she couldn’t help herself from wearing Kentucky Derby regalia, and now realizes the other two are actually dressed more suitably. In her interview, Teddi says she told them there would be horse sh*t and porta-potties. Don’t listen to her advice. She was a professional equestrian for twelve years, and even today when she wants to escape, goes to the barn. She feels extra nervous, because the girls are watching. LVP says she’s ridden for many years, but Teddi is a consummate professional who takes it to another level. Sure enough, she gets the blue ribbon.

Erika video chats with mom Renee about the book. She asks what Renee might have for her. She’s important in helping Erika frame her childhood. Her mom sends some pictures from Erika’s early modeling days. In her interview, Erika says her mom was affectionate, but wanted her to be self-sufficient. Renee asks if she wants any childhood photos of her father, but Erika says no. She tells us that her grandmother used to send pictures of her to her grandfather, but her father wasn’t interested in seeing them, so her grandfather would return them. What a creep. Two creeps.

Teddi and Edwin are going to Dorit and PK’s house for dinner, so the couples can get to know one another better. Dorit is excited over unboxing some new china. The bill is $950, and when PK comes in, she pretends the box came from downstairs, and hustles him out of the kitchen. She tells us her mother is like a professional chef, and she loves to cook.

Dorit tells them she was engaged twice before PK, who was a father at twenty-six. They discuss having more children, and Teddi says they’re done. She tells them about her son having a heart condition, and how difficult it was when he was small. They both feel guilty for having chosen a boy through IVF, thinking his illness was some kind of retribution, which is ridiculous, and I’m kind of surprised they’d think that way. PK says his son came out blue with a conehead. I think he’s just trying to lighten the mood, but as usual, his jokes are ill-timed, and go over like a lead balloon.

Kyle video chats with LisaR, and shows her the Croatian water. I’m so jealous. LisaR tells her about Dorit’s birthday, and Kyle asks how it was with PK. She says it was surprisingly nice, and everyone is getting along. Kyle tells her to hold down the fort and keep the peace.

Dorit’s cooking is impressive. PK calls it the Moroccan dish, even though it’s not Moroccan. I don’t know what it is, but it looks fabulous, and I’d definitely eat it. PK tells them about the dinner party they had with LisaR in attendance; how it seemed fine, and then she attacked their character later. Dorit says PK thinks LisaR is schizophrenic. In her interview, Teddi says it’s a big accusation, and unless you have a medical license, you probably shouldn’t go there. Lighten up. He’s not making a diagnosis, just a point, albeit using a poor choice of comparison. Dorit tells them about being on the boat, and how LisaR kept coming at her with things designed to hurt her. She’s one person one minute, and another the next; she has rage and regret over and over. Dorit says LisaR making a toast on her birthday was so preposterous it’s funny. In her interview, Teddi thinks this isn’t forgiveness. She tells Dorit she’s shocked to hear it, and PK says, you wait, babe.

Next time, the girls visit Tokyo, Teddi enjoys family time, and Dorit calls Camille names, but I think she’s joking around. I think…

💃 I checked out My Big Fat Fabulous Life, and I liked it, but wasn’t overwhelmed. I thought the people were naturally funny, in the Sweet Home Oklahoma vein, although not quite that good. (I so hope that show comes back.) I wasn’t sure how fabulous it was either. There was a lot of petty fighting, and it kind of reminded me of how life would be in my hometown, which isn’t all that exciting of a place. The most real moment was when two exes sat in the same room for the first time since breaking up. The tension was so palpable, I could feel it through the television. This falls into the I’ll watch it if it’s convenient category.

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Croatia (sigh…)

 

January 1, 2018 – A Vanderpump Mini-cap & a Little Shep

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

Although today was a holiday, Bravo decided not to take the night off. Andy Cohen is still on his endless vacation, but Lisa Vanderpump and Shep Rose were still at work, and had new episodes tonight. I rode the fence by watching, and making a CliffsNotes version of the usual post. Not nearly as annoyingly detailed, but possibly still rambling. It’s going to be another week of not knowing what day it is.

Vanderpump Rules

Tom and Schwartz met with Ken and Lisa about the new restaurant, TomTom. Having partied with Jax the night before, the Toms prepped by listening to Eminem’s Lose Yourself multiple times. The meeting was at Villa Rosa, so, Giggy! Harrison! Lisa hadn’t been too thrilled with Tom’s negativity, and was thisclose to severing ties. She finally relented, with the guys kicking in $50K each for 5% ownership each, considerably less than Lisa’s original request of $120K for 10%. In her interview, Lisa said she just pulled the figure out of her “English ass,” but it was highly unlikely that they could get the restaurant off the ground for $1.2 million.

Jax came home while the girls were still there, griping that it was his house. He started in with the I-pay-for-everything crap, and Brittany lost her cool, smacking him around and telling him to get out. He refused to budge, then tried to deflect the blame, saying it was the fault of Brittany’s girlfriends, who filled her head with nonsense. This went over about as well as you’d think it would.

Lala started her return on the right foot by telling Scheana and Ariana that Schwartz made out with one of her friends when he was drunk – after he was married to Katie. The friend said he kept calling her “Bubba,” which is their pet name for each other, so who knows? Maybe he thought she was Katie. Claiming that she had intended to keep it to herself, Lala made this announcement in retaliation for Katie saying her boyfriend is married. During a private conversation. With big mouth Scheana present. Lala declared Katie no longer safe, because Katie “messed with her relationship.” Funny though, I could have sworn Lala said he was separated on Watch What Happens Live. Regardless, it seemed like an overreaction. Katie had actually apologized afterwards, but Scheana left that part out. Of course, nothing is private with this group, so Katie took her chances. Lala immediately reverted back to her creepy, insecure ways by hoping Katie’s marriage came to an end over this.

Stassi planned LVP’s partner Guillermo’s birthday party at SUR, and Lisa seemed pleased with the results. Stassi had the guests take Polaroid selfies and put them in a scrapbook for the birthday boy, which is an idea I love. Ariana called Schwartz out about Lala’s friend in private during the party, and he claimed not to remember. Déjà vu, anyone? No surprise, the news traveled fast, and Schwartz said, I have no recollection, more times than I could count, and compared himself to a werewolf. Lisa was like, wtf? and told us she’s taking it personally, since she was their officiant. Katie was wearing amazing gigantic black and gold earrings, and it was like the battle of the earrings when she was talking to Lisa, who had humongous gold and gemstone danglers hanging from her ears. It kept diverting my attention.

At another bar, Jax and James got drunk on absinthe, which James described tasting like a little green fairy that goes down your throat and rips your balls off. That really doesn’t sound like much fun to me. Next time, Katie lays down the law to Schwartz.

👱  RelationShep continues to be a fun watch. Andy Cohen referred to Shep as a human Golden Retriever, and I think that’s pretty accurate. He’s goodhearted and pleasant, and has better manners than the Golden I had. The girls seem nice enough, but now they’ve been shoved together in a house, which doesn’t always bring out the best in people. Tonight, after “over-drinking,” houseguest Peyton grumbled to Shep, wondering what he could possibly see in someone fresh out of college, referring to Kylie, who is twenty-two. To be fair, Shep had asked Peyton how it was going, and she started by telling him it was an awkward dating situation. She ended up walking out (of the conversation, not the house), and Shep considered this a “public confrontation.” I guess it is where he comes from, but I would have considered it more like cross words in the kitchen. Shep and Cameran (Southern Charm) met for lunch, and she told him it could be a signal that Peyton is needy. I’d like to know how Cameran would have felt if she had to live with several women vying for her man. Arden realized that, although Shep is a nice guy, there was no connection, and packed her bags. Summer showed up uninvited, and Shep felt the only right decision would be to put her up in a hotel. When she arrived, complete with her French bulldog, and was told she couldn’t stay there, she did not seem too happy about it. I would have let the dog stay. Many of the Southern Charmers have made appearances, since the house is in Charleston. Unlike The Bachelor, the next step is for the final four to live in separate dwellings, which at least alleviates some of the pressure. It seems Shep feels it as well, knowing that, like dogs with bones, the girls are keeping an eye on him and noting how much time he spends with each. I’ve always had multiple pets, and there have been a few I would swear mentally logged how much attention I paid to the other ones. These contestants/houseguests/potential girlfriends are kind of like that.

🎉 Hope your New Year’s Eve was everything you wanted, and nothing you didn’t.

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Casey in New Year’s Eve Formalwear

 

 

December 26, 2017 – Drum’s Christmas Message, Nina Gets Tough, Beverly Hills Leaves Vegas Unscathed & a Ferris Wheel

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

🎄 First Things First🎄

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🎅 Drum sez: Hope youse had a Merry Christmas! 🎅

Moving on…

General Hospital

Anna and Finn go to the gym. He wonders why she wanted him there, and she tells him self-defense lessons.

At Kelly’s, Valentin tells Nina that Lulu is late with Charlotte, but he’s not giving her the satisfaction of being annoyed. Lulu and Charlotte arrive, and Nina tells Charlotte that they waited to open their presents. Charlotte tells Valentin that she asked Santa for something special, and asks if he thinks Santa brought it. He says Santa is magic, so perhaps he did. Lulu asks if they read her article, because that totally fits with the conversation.

Maxie and Nathan talk to Kim about Nathan’s medical history. He wonders if the records really belong to Victor.

Peter goes to Sam’s office. She asks if he’s ready to go over the projections for next year, and he says he’s more concerned if there’s going to be a next year. He asks her who actually owns the company?

Sonny knocks on Drew’s door, telling him, merry Christmas. Drew says it was yesterday, and Sonny says he knows, and their families didn’t even check in with each other. He’d like to fix that.

At the station, Jordan tells Dante that Mayor Lomax canceled their meeting. She’s been in a closed-door meeting of her own all day. Jordan wonders where Lulu got the proof about the election, and Dante tells her at Windemere.

Valentin tells Charlotte to get some cookies to take home. Lulu wonders if there’s something about the article Valentin doesn’t want Charlotte to know. He says not unless she wants to explain to her how she used Charlotte’s Christmas list to snoop around Windemere. The election happened before he moved there, and Spencer had found the ballot box. While Spencer had no idea what he’d found, Valentin says the ballots had been counted then. Now, all these years later, Lulu finds them, and it leads her to believe the election was thrown. She says she doesn’t think Spencer did it, and Valentin says that would be sophisticated even for him, but not for his father. He thinks she should start working on a follow-up article on how Spencer’s father threw the election.

Peter tells Sam that he doesn’t mean to be obtuse, but Jason Morgan’s money was used to buy the company, so isn’t the company his? Sam says it’s already been discussed, and Jason gave the company to them. Peter says it’s a generous gift, and Sam says Jason is a generous guy. He wonders if she wants to put it on record, and do a story about the brothers from a personal angle. She tells him absolutely not, and he says she can’t blame him for trying.

Drew invites Sonny in. Sonny says the last time they saw each other was at the police station, when Drew accused him of paying Andre to lie. Drew admits he was wrong, but says it made sense at the time. Sonny says he thought Drew was Jason, but now that they know truth, he wants Drew to know he’s still his friend.

Anna tries to get Finn to warm up. She tells him that he could be in a fight for his life. He says he’s not completely helpless, and thinks he can look after himself. She flips him onto the mat.

Nathan tells Kim that his mom could have put Victor’s name on someone else’s records. Kim says that’s illegal, but Maxie says that’s not a problem for Nathan’s mother. Nathan tells her about the Cassadines’ blood disorder history. Kim says Nathan has been tested, and isn’t a carrier, but whoever the records belong to, was never tested. Maxie tells Nathan that there’s really no way to know who his father is without a DNA test. Nathan says he’s only worried about the baby being affected.

Lulu says the ballots don’t prove that Nicolas did anything untoward. Valentin asks if it isn’t her job to find out, or at least the job of a journalist with integrity. Charlotte comes back, saying they’re making a new batch of cookies. Lulu tells her how great it was to spend Christmas together, and is looking forward to many more. When she leaves, Nina asks Charlotte how her Christmas was, and Charlotte says it was fine, but she missed her and papa.

Anna helps Finn up. He says he was trying to bow out gracefully, and she tells him that she was making a point. He tells her that later, he’ll dazzle her with his doctor moves. Anna says he’s going up against professionals. Finn says his only goal is putting Cassandra out of business. Anna says the whole thing could be trap, and it’s her operation. She brought him into this kicking and screaming, and then he refused to go. She can’t let anything happen to him. He asks why not? Isn’t he just another asset? She says he’s more than that, and he knows it.

Peter tells Sam that he’ll have the projections by the first of next week. Crimson is still the most consistent performer, and there was a bump in circulation from the Ask Man Landers story; it touched a lot of hearts. That’s what he meant by a personal angle. The publisher in him can’t help regretting the story that got away. They discuss the Lomax story, and how it looks like she stole the election. Sam says according to her mother, apparently Lomax likes to abuse the power of her office. Peter asks if Alexis would like to talk about it for the magazine, but Sam says no. He says it seems like her family wants to publish the news, not be in it, but if she was to publicize a story about Drew, some people might come forward with information.

Drew appreciates and respects Sonny coming, and doesn’t want to disrespect it by saying meaningless words. Sonny is still his friend, and he’s looking at his best friend and brother, but those feelings aren’t real. He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do with that. They belong to someone else.

Sonny says he never knew Drew like he knew Jason, but that doesn’t change that Drew saved his life. It wasn’t Jason who kept him alive or went after Morgan to save him from himself; it was Drew. Drew says he loved Morgan, and he’s sorry. He should have been able to save him. Sonny says he tried, and he honors Drew for that. He’ll always be grateful, and he’s still his friend.

Kim tells Nathan that the goal is to get records that are as complete as possible, but the key word is “possible.” Is he reasonably sure these are his father’s records? Nathan says, reasonably, and Kim says then he’s done what he can. They’re on track to have healthy baby. Out in the hallway, Nathan asks Maxie if he’s paranoid. She says as long as the records are accurate, who cares about the name on them?

Sam drops by Kim’s office, and wants to talk to her about Drew.

Lulu comes to the station. Jordan tells her that whatever she hears there is off the record. Lulu agrees, unless it’s something good. Then she’ll ask whoever said it if she can use it. Jordan says she can live with that compromise, and tells her, nice work. Dante tells Lulu that if the election is invalid, Lomax could face criminal charges, so why doesn’t she seem happy? Lulu says maybe she didn’t dig deep enough. She’s going to have to do a second article, and Nicholas probably threw the election.

Nina tells Charlotte about how Valentin let the staff have the night off, and made dinner himself. Then they went outside for a walk, and watched for Santa. Valentin says it’s hard for grown-ups to see Santa, but he thinks he saw a sleigh out of the corner of his eye. Nina tells her that when they came back, the stockings were filled, and presents were under the tree. Cassandra walks in, and says, what a charming sight; Valentin Cassadine and family.

Finn thinks Anna is implying that she might care about him, and she says she cares about his safety. He asks if the kiss meant nothing, and Anna calls it an unwanted distraction. Finn asks if she’s sure, and she says she doesn’t know. He moves closer as if to kiss her, and places his hand on her neck. She keels over, and he says he’s not entirely helpless.

Lulu tells Dante that Nicolas was living there at the time. He could have swapped out the ballots, but he was supporting Felicia’s campaign. Dante says he had a lot of secrets, and might have wanted someone he could bribe in office, but there’s no real evidence anyway. A man from the board of elections comes in, and asks to see Jordan. He tells Jordan that the ballots are authentic, and the election is invalid.

Cassandra gifts Charlotte with a sparkly skating costume. Nina says what a coincidence that she happened come in with a gift just when they happened to be there. She tells Valentin to go with Charlotte to pick up the cookies, and that she’s got this. Cassandra says she hopes she hasn’t overstepped, and Nina startles all of us by grabbing her hair, and pulling her close. She tells her to never get near Charlotte again. Nathan and Maxie walk in, and Nathan asks if everything is okay. Nina says it is, and Cassandra was just leaving – unless she wants Valentin to escort her out. She doesn’t. Nathan asks who that woman was, and why was Nina trying to rip her hair out by the roots?

Finn helps Anna up, and tells her that he’s a doctor. He knows how to put pressure to carotid arteries. She says no one will let him get close enough, and he says she did. She tells him it was one time, and it won’t happen again. He begins to get close to her again, but his phone rings. It’s Cassandra. He says he was just thinking about her. She tells him that she wants him to review the formula, and they make plans to meet at her suite in the morning.

Drew is glad he could be there for Sonny when he thought he was Jason, but Sonny wasn’t just looking for friend. Sonny wanted a guy to do what he needed to have done, despite the effect on his family and friends. Sonny says what gives him power, could turn on him and his family if he tried to walk away. Jason has a certain loyalty that Drew didn’t have. He isn’t questioning Drew, but was just confused when he tried to distance himself.

Sam tells Kim that she spent the morning fending off the CEO of her own company. He wanted to do a story on Jason, and he made a valid point. Someone might come forward with information. Kim asks if coming to her was the next best thing, and invites Sam to sit. She asks what Sam wants to know, and Sam asks her to start off with how they met. Kim says they met in a bar in San Diego. Drew was charming, funny, respectable, and polite. He didn’t hit on her, but asked her out. He was clear right away about being deployed, and Sam asks if there was no hope for a future. Kim says, none. Their three-month relationship was about living in the present. The farthest they thought ahead was the next weekend, and the most they talked about their past was where they’d spent the Christmas before. After he left, his correspondence was vague. The only thing he’d say was that it was cold, and he had an incredible view of the night’s sky. Sam asks about him growing up, but Kim says she only got bits and pieces. He grew up in a group home. She thought he might have been lonely, but maybe it was just her own projection. He liked high school, and attended one somewhere upstate (that’s New York state for those who don’t live in the area). Kim wonders if she was any help, but Sam doesn’t know. She thinks maybe she’s doing it wrong. Andre said Drew’s past was obliterated, but when he saw Kim, he thought she seemed familiar. He had the feeling he knew her, but couldn’t pinpoint from where, and Sam thought it might be a memory coming through, the way wallpaper bleeds through when you paint over it. She was hoping if she found some information, it could jar his memory. Kim doesn’t think has anything else that can help, and Sam says sorry to bother her; it was a long shot. Kim thanks her for being kind about Oscar. Sam says he seems like a great kid, and Drew is looking forward to being his father. She’s happy for them. After Sam leaves, Kim looks at Oscar’s picture, and makes a soap opera face.

Lulu is looking for Sam at her office, and Peter sees her. He asks if she’s looking for kudos from the publisher, and she says she would like him to hold up his end of the bargain. He tells her that she got paid, but she says he promised her a position on the staff.

Nina tells Nathan that everything is fine. Hopefully, she’ll never lay eyes on that woman again, and if she does, she’ll try to control herself. Nathan tells her things going well and the baby is going to be healthy. She gets all excited, and hugs him. She has to get back to her family, hoping she can persuade Charlotte to get rid of the tacky outfit. Maxie brings Nathan some coffee, saying he looks stressed. She asks if he’s still hung up on the Victor thing. Without the DNA, there’s nothing they can do. He says he’ll have to live with uncertainty, since his mom is never going to give him any information. Maxie decides to stay at Kelly’s for a while.

Finn says the lesson is over. Anna says it wasn’t much of one. She threw him on his ass, and he gave her the Vulcan death grip. Finn is certain he can lure Cassandra into close proximity. He tells Anna that before she gives him a litany of warnings, he has no intention of getting killed. He has too much to live for – Roxie, his patients… and other things. He has this. He tells her to wish him luck. She says he’ll need more than luck.

Sonny says that when Drew said no to a legit project, he accepted it, but it didn’t make sense. When Jason came back, it did. Drew tells him it sounds like Jason does whatever he asks. Sonny says they understand each other. As soon as he saw Jason, he knew it was him and said so, but he didn’t betray Drew. Drew apologizes, saying he can wrap his head around it now, but hopes Sonny understands he couldn’t at the time. Sonny’s brother is back, and he’s not Jason. As much as they might still be friends, their lives are moving in different directions, and don’t fit together. Sam walks in.

She asks if everything is okay. Sonny says he was just about to leave. He respects Drew’s choice, but if they ever need anything, just ask. Sam asks Drew what just happened. He says two guys coming to grips with reality. His life doesn’t start and stop with Sonny, but does with her, because he loves her, and that’s all that matters.

Lulu tells Peter that he said if she brought him a major story, he’d find her a position on staff. Peter says one article is only like one brick in building a house. She needs to follow up. She tells him that it was confirmed the election was invalid. He tells her to get to work; she’s on a deadline.

Dante tells Nathan it’s official, and maybe Felicia will be the mayor after all. Nathan says it’s all thanks to Lulu, and her career is off to a good start. Dante compares her to Maxie, saying they never miss an opportunity to go rogue.

Charlotte asks about Lumiere, and Nina says she’s waiting for Charlotte to feed her the Christmas presents she got. On her way out the door, Maxie plucks a hair from Valentin’s head. He’s like, hey! and she says she was just helping him polish his appearance; he’s welcome. He asks Nina what happened to playing nice with Cassandra, and she says Cassandra threatened Charlotte. He says she’s going to be leaving soon one way or another.

Anna tells Finn that she doesn’t want him unprepared or undefended. He tells her that he won’t carry a gun, but she wouldn’t dream of violating his principles. He says, that’s a change, and she says there are other ways to defend yourself.

Kim shows up at Drew and Sam’s place. She says that a strong trigger for memory is music, and gives him the CD. She tells him that he made it for her, and it contains songs he liked or had meaning for him. He says that Oscar told him about it. She suggests he listen to it, and maybe it will bring something back.

Tomorrow, Griff says Ava can’t know, Maxie asks Amy to put Nathan’s mind at rest, and Cassandra says Finn isn’t the man she thought he was.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

When we last left Vegas, LisaR had just arrived. She’s introduced to Teddi, and pretends it’s great to see everyone. Kyle feels since she extended the invitations, it’s on her, and hopes they’re all able to get along. Good luck with that. LisaR thinks the birthday celebrations are a good way to start fresh.

Erika is channeling Russian hooker along with supermodel. Whatever that means to you. Adrienne Maloof joins them, and her face looks like a balloon. Why do these women always over do it with the fillers? Erika shows up looking more like a dominatrix than anything else. Adrienne is there for a hot minute, and then disappears never to be seen again.

The ladies go out for dinner. LisaR says it was a nice surprise to be invited, and in her interview, Dorit says it was a surprise for her too. Kyle says LVP is obsessed with the huge Ferris wheel, so it’s on the agenda. Teddi explains that she’s an accountability coach for fitness. This is a thing? I could do that, yell at people to quit making excuses and work out. She says she’s struggled her entire life with her weight, and at one point weighed two hundred pounds. She wants to help other women meet their goals.

Erika and Dorit talk children. Dorit feels that Erika is a lot warmer. Erika wants to see LisaR shake her groove thing, and they move on to a club. What happened to the Ferris wheel? BTW, they look as stupid as the rest of us on the dance floor after having a few drinks. There are happy birthday messages projected onto a screen on the stage for Teddi, LisaR, Dorit, and Erika, along with their photos, which makes them all dance harder.

LisaR calls her daughters and finds out that one ordered a $280 steak. On her card. Dorit checks in with PK, and video chats with baby Phoenix. He asks about LisaR. Dorit says she’s okay, but she needs to get some things off her chest. In her interview, she says she has some unresolved issues, and she’ll feel fake if she doesn’t say anything.

Kyle, LisaR, and Camille go to the pool, while Erika, Dorit, and Teddi do some gambling. Not my thing. I played the slots in Atlantic City for a few hours once while waiting for a concert to begin, and I’m good for life. Teddi wins $800 right off the bat. In her interview, she talks about living with a roommate and eating ramen, which is why she’s tight with her money. Erika says time doesn’t exist when she’s gambling. They order cocktails. At ten in the morning. Dorit says it’s five o’clock somewhere. They discuss having a budget for gambling. That’s what I did on my foray, but I’ll bet (ha-ha) that they brought more than a few rolls of quarters. In her interview, Teddi says she’s not impressed with how much anyone is willing to spend; she’s not throwing it away. I’m with you, sister. I came home only a quarter shy. Dorit wins, and gets excited all over again about her birthday. She says dinner is on her tonight. True story. Gamblers are nuts. When I was at the casino, they still had the old pull-the-lever slot machines. Everything is electronic now, so they took away the one aspect I thought was fun. Anyway, I saw an empty one on the end of a row, and started moving toward it. This old lady pops out of nowhere, and hisses, this one is mine! I was like, lady, take it. I guess she was playing several at a time. Honestly, she frightened me.

After Vegas, Kyle is going with her family on vacation to Croatia. (sigh) LisaR wonders why there’s no young people at the pool. LVP joins the gamblers. In her interview, Erika says Vegas isn’t the place to be accountable for anything. They decide to go shopping, but frugal Teddi opts for the pool.

LVP is glad Dorit and Erika have set aside their differences. Erika says everything was said that needed to be, and it was time to move on. LVP wants to get to know Erika better. She responds to texts, but LVP isn’t feeling the warmth of friendship. In her interview, Erika says she needs to work on her TLC with the girlfriends.

Kyle commends LisaR on her entrance, and LisaR says she doesn’t tend to hold on to things. Dorit talks with the others about clearing things up, as LisaR wonders who would want to rehash anything. Erika treats LVP to some expensive skincare products.

At the pool, Camille actually gets in the water. Teddi thought going to Vegas with strangers on her birthday was going to be a disaster, but she’s having fun. Oh, just wait.

Kyle talks to Erika about Harry confronting her about Kim on the hiking trail. She told him she’s not responsible for her sister’s actions. Erika says she should let LisaR know what happened, but tread lightly.

Finally, the Ferris wheel. It’s called the High Roller. Kyle is afraid of heights, and is hesitant. She says omg over and over while getting in. She’s glad there’s a bar. Wait, this isn’t like a real Ferris wheel. This is a rich person’s Ferris wheel. The cabs are little rooms with bars in them, and the whole thing moves very slowly, taking forty minutes to go around. Kyle feels embarrassed. Geez, no one is even looking at the view. In her interview, LisaR says everyone is pretending like it’s okay, when it’s not. Kyle says it’s her last chance to talk to LisaR about Harry. Too late. Dorit hijacks her moment.

LisaR doesn’t want to rehash the past, but Dorit doesn’t want to feel like she’s going to be attacked. Erika wonders if this is the place. LisaR says PK had some harsh things to say about her, like calling her schizophrenic. She’s flummoxed that Dorit isn’t buying that he said anything bad. Apparently, Dorit didn’t watch the show. Kyle thinks Teddi should do an intervention, but she’s not interested in getting involved. Somehow, these girls have mixed up being a fitness accountability coach with being a therapist. Dorit tells LisaR she did nothing to her, and in her interview, LisaR wonders why she’s not taking responsibility for her part. She tells Dorit she knows she can seem like a bitch, but she’s not. Erika asks Kyle if she’s going to say something. Dorit says she felt like LisaR had bad intentions. LisaR says she can’t force Dorit to like her, but would like Dorit to give knowing her a chance. Dorit says LisaR hurt her, and LisaR says she’s sorry for that. Dorit agrees to start clean, and they shake on it, saying they’re grown-ups. LisaR feels like a weight has been lifted. She wants to show her girls you can be a strong woman without being a bitch.

Dorit says they agree it’s a slow process, but got it out. Kyle feels she has to say something. She tells LisaR that the day after Kim gave back the bunny, something happened, and she feels badly not having shared with her. LisaR says Harry told her about it. Kyle says she felt like Harry was an extension of LisaR, and thought it was amazing how he defended her, but she’s not fighting her sister’s battles. LisaR is sorry it happened, and says the timing was bad, but Harry loves Kyle. In her interview, Kyle is glad LisaR apologized. LVP says LisaR should understand PK’s position. LisaR says she’s learned more during her time with this group of women than in her entire life, but doesn’t say what she learned exactly. LVP has hope. LisaR says it’s hard to admit when you’re an a-hole. Erika thinks it’s a miracle that everyone is getting along, and is waiting for the other shoe to drop. Me too.

Kyle has to pack, but the others go to a really cool bar. It looks like a library with a huge gas fireplace along one wall. Erika takes the ice out of a drink, and pretends it’s a sex toy. Good thing Kameron from Dallas Housewives isn’t there. They pass the ice around. Kyle joins them, and they ask her what it looks like. She says a wiener. Ding-ding-ding! We have a wiener winner! She says she has to get moving, but she’s amazed that the trip went so well. There’s still time.

Dorit asks Teddi about growing up with her dad. Teddi says he’s laid back and chill, so there was no difference to her. Erika says she wouldn’t know, since she was twenty-five when she met her dad. It was like meeting a stranger. Her mother was eighteen when she was born, and he left when she was nine months old. In her interview, LisaR says she has empathy, and it’s another piece of the puzzle. Erika must want to protect herself. Erika says she missed out, but at the same time doesn’t feel like something is missing in her life. She has other fabulous relationships. In her interview, she says no matter what some people think, she didn’t marry her dad; her dad is much younger than her husband. In her interview, Teddi says Erika comes off like she’s too cool, but maybe she shouldn’t be trying so hard with her. Teddi tells the group that if she says anything that offends them, to tell her. They say they will. I’m surprised she even thinks she has to say that. I guess no one noticed that Teddi was asked a question, and Erika made it all about her. Just sayin’.

It’s time to leave Vegas. Dorit goes to Teddi’s room, where there’s a breakfast spread. Teddi tells Dorit that she had fun and is glad she came. They seem like a fun group. She didn’t have an immediate connection with Erika though, and thought she might be trying too hard. Dorit says it’s the first time she and Erika connected, and you have to earn her trust. It might take a while, but let things happen naturally. They toast to the successful trip. I go into shock that there were no fights. Although there’s still the airport and the plane ride home.

Next time, the construction on Kyle’s house is driving her mad, Teddi shows off her equestrian skills, and we learn more about Erika’s father.

🌆 New show Bethenny and Fredrik, revolving around real estate, begins on Tuesday, February 6th at 10 pm. Should be interesting. They both have steamroller personalities.

🎡 The High Roller

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December 19, 2017 – Sam Proposes, Beverly Hills Goes to Vegas & a Little More Vegas

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

At the pub, Curtis says he is bereft without Aunt Stella, who moved out yesterday. She thinks the second she left, he and Jordan were whooping it up in the altogether. Curtis says, maybe. He asks how the new apartment is, and she says a nonstop party. TJ and Molly brought out the neighbors to welcome her, and it lasted until two am. Curtis says she’s already the party girl of the Charles Street district. She says it’s a shame it’s not going to last.

Maxie says the tree feels right, and Nathan says it’s perfect. She tells him that her dad came through with his medical records. Now all they need is his father.

Obrecht talks to Britt in German, and asks how dare they lock her up like a common criminal? Britt says she is one. She was on the run with one of the world’s most dangerous fugitives. She tells Obrecht that if she delivers Faison to the authorities, she can get a drastically reduced sentence. Obrecht asks how she can think of betraying him?

At the gallery, Ava gets flowers. The card congratulates her on taking her life back. Kiki and Griff come in, and Ava says she’s not sure she deserves praise for going back to work. Kiki says it was Griff’s idea, and he tells her it was the least he could do for putting her at odds with her brother.

In the park, Alexis and Danny contribute to Toys for Tots. Julian sees them, and asks if Danny has a hug for grandpa.

Sam answers a knock at the door. It’s Jason. He asks if Drew is home. Drew appears, and says sorry, he should have told Sam that he’d invited Jason over.

Nathan tells Maxie that Obrecht is being squirrely about his father’s medical records. Maxie asks if that isn’t normal, since she lives her life in secret. Nathan confesses he’s not sure about Victor being his father.

Britt says Obrecht is always defending Faison, but it wasn’t the same for her. Obrecht says she was strict with Britt, because she wanted her to live a long and happy life. Britt says that’s why she wants to get the reduced sentence, but Obrecht tells her that she’d be signing her own death warrant.

Kiki leaves to unpack the deliveries. Ava understands why Griff feels the way he does, and is glad he’s honest. He knows she doesn’t want Julian to be found guilty, but it would go a long way in making people feel better about his other crimes, including his father’s murder. Ava says, about that…

Alexis suggests Danny play on the slide while they watch. Julian tells her that he just came to drop off some gifts. She ran off so fast at the pub, he didn’t get a chance to tell her the good news. The charges have been dropped. He’s officially a free man.

Sam asks what’s going on? Drew says they all deserve to know what happened and why. Andre was transferred to a federal facility, but Jason was the last person to see him, and Drew wanted to ask him about it. Jason says Andre took a baseline map of Drew’s original memory, and he wondered if it still exists.

Julian tells Alexis no more ankle monitor. Olivia-J’s statement nullified the case, and he’s trying to rebuild his life. He’s starting from scratch, since he sold the media company. Alexis says she’s not sure the sale is valid, since it was under Jason’s name, but Julian says it was made in good faith, and he’s not going to challenge it. The idea of owning a pub feels like a new beginning, and he’s not being pulled back into his old life. Alexis says it’s his life, and he can live it however he likes, good or bad. He tells her that she took off pretty fast when they ran into each other. She says it was awkward, so she arranged to meet her date elsewhere. He says it must be serious, and he wants her to be happy.

Griff asks Ava if all is forgiven, just like that. Ava says Olivia-J threatened him; he didn’t commit the crimes willingly. Griff says he still willingly ordered his father’s murder. Kiki comes back, saying Dillon is coming home tomorrow, and she can’t wait. In perfect soap timing, Dillon calls, and she leaves to talk to him. Ava tells Griff that Julian offered to make himself scarce, but he doesn’t want her to have to choose. She asks how he’s going to handle it then?

Britt tells Obrecht it’s not like she framed Faison. He did everything he’s wanted for. Obrecht says her father is a genius, untroubled by empathy and remorse. He’ll destroy her if she goes against him. Britt says he’ll be in prison, but Obrecht says he’s escaped from countless prisons, and he doesn’t forgive a traitor.

Nathan talks to Maxie about meeting Victor, and how he told Nathan that he was his father. He wonders if his mother never told him because it wasn’t true. She might have backed him up, but maybe she thought it was safer. She’s dragging her feet about the records, and he doesn’t trust it. Victor is dead, and they might never know who the baby’s paternal grandfather is.

Stella tells Curtis that investor types are eyeing the neighborhood for gentrification. They could be forced out by greedy landlords. Curtis says it’s not happening anytime soon, so enjoy her bachelor pad. She says the first thing she unpacked was a picture of him and Tommy. Christmas makes her feel his absence more keenly; his senseless death and the part Jordan played in it. Curtis says he thinks about Tommy every day. He would be glad they’re in each other’s lives, but would kick Curtis’s ass if he didn’t give her a housewarming gift.

Jordan visits the gallery, and says it looks good. Ava remembers when Jordan worked there, and says it could have been a great friendship if Jordan hadn’t been working undercover to get her brother. She adds that Jordan did get her out of some tight spots more than once.

Griff sees Kiki crying in the hallway. Dillon can’t come home for Christmas.

Maxie wonders why Obrecht would lie. Why would any mother lie, and say Victor was their child’s father? She can’t think of a worse candidate than that psycho.

Britt promises Obrecht not to betray her father. She doesn’t even know where he is. Obrecht says her life at stake. She’s sure Britt’s lawyer can get her only a few months in minimum security. She tells Britt that she doesn’t want to bring her father’s wrath down on both of them. She can stand between them, and is a formidable woman, but she’s no match for him. Britt knows him better now, and must realize what would happen. Britt tells her not to worry; she won’t say anything. Obrecht tells her that they must move forward. Once her legal troubles are settled, she can rebuild her life. Right now, Britt would rather focus on Nathan’s new baby. Obrecht says they made her feel like family at the party. Britt says why not return the favor, and give Nathan the medical records he needs?

Julian tells Alexis that the best Christmas gift for him, is for her to be happy. She calls for Danny, and he asks if she’s making another hasty exit left. He tells her that when she made the last one, she left her scarf at the pub, and to stop by any time to pick it up. Alexis guesses she should be resigned to seeing him. Julian tells Danny that he’s going to see Santa, and asks if Danny has anything special he wants. Danny says Santa already knows what he wants, but what about Julian? He says he wants something special. It’s a long shot, but Santa has magic.

Jason explains that Andre put his methodology about the baseline on a flash drive, and put the drive inside an ornament and gave it to someone. Jason thinks he wanted out, but wanted a record of his work. Drew asks if he was unable to retrieve it, and Jason says it was put in with ornaments for the community tree by mistake, and it’s missing. Sam asks if it’s completely gone, and Jason says it’s more complicated than that.

Britt asks if Obrecht doesn’t want her grandchild to have every advantage. Obrecht says she’s arranged for the medical records to be sent. She had so many failings as a mother, and wonders if she’ll do better as a grandmother. Britt says she can start by not telling the story of Krampus. Obrecht says she’ll tell the story of how Britt is the best aunt a child could want instead. Britt promises she’ll be back, and they’ll find a way to be happy. Obrecht agrees that they will.

Nathan marvels at the baby growing inside Maxie. He asks if it’s okay to… and she says, definitely.

Kiki tells Griff that Dillon is taking a leave of absence to be the director on a friend’s Indy film. She hasn’t seen him in months, and now he’s going to be surrounded by actresses on the beach. What if she puts all this work into being a doctor, and she turns out to be a big fat loser with no boyfriend or career? She’s going to California, and forgetting her delusions of grandeur.

Jordan asks Ava about a sculpture that she wants. Ava says it was one of a pair, and Kiki must have sold the other one unknowingly. She says she’ll give Jordan a good deal.

Jason explains about the ornament being missing. Sam says someone knew, and Drew says, and didn’t want them to find it. Alexis comes back with Danny. Danny sees Jason, and says he came back. He tells Alexis that Jason is mommy’s friend from when he was a baby. Sam tells Alexis that they’re just sorting through a few things, and Alexis says to call if she needs help. After she leaves, Danny says Jason looks like someone in the pictures at Grandma. Jason says he knows her, and she’s a nice lady. Sam distracts Danny with some new juice boxes. Jason thinks he should go, but Drew says he doesn’t think so. Danny needs to know Jason is his father.

When Danny returns from the kitchen, Sam says they found out something he needs to know, but it doesn’t change how much they both love him; nothing will ever change that. She tells him that they found out daddy and mommy’s friend are actually brothers, like him and Jake. There was a mix-up, daddy is actually his uncle, and mommy’s friend is actually his daddy. Danny asks if Drew isn’t his dad, and Drew says no; he’s Danny’s uncle. He doesn’t care what Danny calls him; he’ll always love him. Sam says it just means he has more people to love. Danny asks if Jason loves him, and Jason says he does. Danny asks why he was gone so long? Jason tells him that he didn’t want to go away, and tried his hardest to get back. Danny asks if he was sad when he was gone, and Jason says he was, but when he got back and saw Danny, it made him feel better that Danny had a great family. Danny asks why he didn’t say something right away? Jason says there was a lot to figure out. There still is, but he’d like to get to know Danny when he feels ready. Danny says he’s ready now. Wow. This kid is really taking this well. Jason asks if they should shake hands, but Danny asks for hug. Jason hugs him.

There’s a knock at Maxie and Nathan’s door. Nathan answers shirtless. It’s Obrecht who thinks he just got up, and asks if no one taught him about the early bird. Maxie comes in, saying she thought he was joining her in the shower, and Obrecht says, oh, he was catching something better than worms. She gives him a folder, saying it’s the medical history of an extraordinary man. Maxie says Nathan is the one thing Victor did right. Obrecht has busy day, but says on Christmas, she will bring her famous strudel, and they can play cards and dream about the little one. When she’s gone, Maxie says she was stranger than usual. Nathan thinks she knew what she was doing.

Stella unwraps a sculpture, and Curtis reminds her of when she used to drag him and Tommy to the museum in Philadelphia. Afterward, she would ask about what they saw, and how it made them feel. She says they hated those trips, but Curtis says he just wasn’t willing to own up to the fact he liked art. The piece reminds him of those trips. Stella says she’ll cherish it. Jordan enters, and congratulates Stella on her new home. She says Curtis told her about how she taught him to appreciate art, and gives Stella a box. It’s the same piece in a different color, and Stella says it’s a pity. Jordan says the gallery owner said they were companion pieces. Curtis says, great minds think alike, and now she’s the proud owner of a matching set. Stella sees no reason to have two, and says she’ll return the one Jordan gave her, and donate the money to those not as blessed.

Griff tells Kiki that the road to be a doctor is a difficult and terrifying one. He questioned himself every day. He says she can do it, one step at a time, and keep her eyes on the prize. He tells her to shoot for her dreams, try her best, and she’ll never be a failure in his eyes. Ava has been listening, and says, or in hers. Griff tells Kiki it will be all right; trust him. Kiki says she does. She needs to have a serious conversation with Dillon, and hit books. Ava tells Griff that he got through better than she could have. Julian pops in.

Jason tells Danny that he’ll see him soon, and Danny suggests he come to Grandma Monica’s, so he can see how he taught Annabelle to shake hands. Jason leaves, and Danny goes upstairs to play. Sam is choked up, saying it was hard. Drew says he’s sorry she has to go through this. He thought after Jake, it couldn’t get harder, but it breaks his heart into more pieces. Sam knows he feels like he’s losing everything, but he still has everything. He has Danny, Jake, and Scout, and he’ll always have her. He asks how he can have any of them? He has nothing to give. He doesn’t even know who he really is.

Stella steps away to take a call from TJ. Jordan thought they were doing well on Thanksgiving. Curtis says Stella gets this way around Christmas; it’s all about Thomas. Jordan says, and she’s the one who took him away, so she’s the Grinch. Curtis says that’s not true. When they’re done with the holidays, things will be better. He kisses her.

Stella runs into Alexis, and thanks her for Thanksgiving. Alexis says too bad dinner ended up on the floor. Stella tells her about the time Curtis’s birthday cake was trampled by the pony she hired. She says she likes David, and that they cross paths occasionally. He had been enthusiastic about the Charles Street district; now she lives there. Alexis says David has a thing about it, and Stella recommends it highly. TJ told her that this was the neighborhood place, so she’s sure they’ll be running into each other.

Julian asks what they’re going to do about this? Griff seems to have a problem with him.

Maxie tells Nathan that his mom wasn’t lying for once. His father was super healthy, and their baby will have super genes. He hopes she’s right. There’s something wrong with the records.

Sam tells Drew that she knows who he is; the man she loves, but he took the proposal off the table. He says with everything she has in her life, how can he ask her to choose him, when he doesn’t even know who he is. He owes her to know who she’s married to. Sam says he doesn’t owe her anything. She asks him to marry her. He calls her small and mighty, and asks if she’s sure this is what she wants. She gets down on her knees, and he does too. He wants her to remember this is the moment they decided, because they love each other. Sam says it’s a moment they’ll remember forever. Drew tells her he’ll marry her. She grabs his face, and kisses him. He tells her that he loves her.

Tomorrow, Alexis asks Ned what he’s doing there, Laura has to ask Lulu something, and Maxie doesn’t think she can do this.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Erika talks to her creative director about a new project. She says yes to everything, since you’re only given an opportunity once, and the moment is fleeting.  So she’s maximizing her m-f-ing time. She never thought she’d be where she is in her mid-40s. We see a clip of Erika being parodied on SNL. Yep, she’s in the big time now. She tells us she’s where she is because of her husband’s support. Her life has exploded.

LisaR has a rat problem, and I don’t mean one of the other girls. Actual rodents. Her daughters are modeling now, and she’s making a trip with them to New York. LisaR says she’s managing everything and everybody. God love Harry Hamlin, but he’s not doing sh*t. A doctor comes over to give them vitamin injections. She wants to keep her daughters grounded, so the attention doesn’t go to their heads, and I wonder how that’s working out when the “concierge doctor” makes a house call for nonsense.

Kyle meets LVP at a restaurant. Her bag needs its own chair. Kyle’s show, American Woman, is inspired by her life with her mom in the 70s, and is finally on the air. She tells LVP she’s planning a trip to Vegas for Erika and Dorit’s birthdays. LVP informs her that LisaR’s birthday is also around the same time. In her interview, LVP wonders how Dorit will take being with LisaR in Vegas, since LisaR got down and dirty last year. She hopes LisaR has learned her lesson. Kyle says they’ll have to get over it, and wonders if they need a bouncer for the plane. She feels like she’s in the middle, and doesn’t want that anymore. She’s inviting everyone, and too bad. If somebody doesn’t like it, they don’t have to go.

Dorit takes Jagger to his music class. They’ve always had a close connection, but now that he verbalizes, he can make his thoughts clear, and is into being with other kids. New Housewife Teddi is hosting the class. Afterward, they discuss trampolines as they sip champagne. Dorit sees a big change in Jagger’s personality. He’s a more confident, fun, and excited child. Dorit says they’ve spent the last four and a half moths in Miami while renovations are being done on the house. Now that she’s back, she wants to connect with other moms. Teddi says she rode horses for so many years, she didn’t know any moms, and that’s why she started the class. Dorit tells her about LVP, who builds her vacations around where she can take her horses. Wow. I can barely remember what a vacation is.

Kyle visits Erika at her office. Coolest. Office. Ever. Omg, I love the banana leaf patterned chairs. She shows Kyle her makeup room, where the light can be adjusted to be like daylight. Scary, but a good way to put on daytime makeup. Kyle says they’re going to Croatia, and a pool is being put in while they’re gone. She apologizes for not being able to see Erika in Dancing with the Stars. Erika says it was a new experience, letting someone else take control. Kyle asks about the girls’ trip, saying Erika’s birthday is between Dorit’s and LisaR’s. Erika makes an are-you-kidding? face. In her interview, Erika says the bottom could fall out; pack your own chute. Erika wonders about the elephant in the room, but says okay. We flash back to her telling Dorit she’s willing to try again, but it’s a slow process.

Teddi tells us that growing up, she lived well, but always knew the value of a dollar. Her husband was supposed to be a one-night-stand. The next morning, she thought his name was Edward, and it’s Edwin. That’s actually a funny/cute story. Her dad is John Mellencamp, and when she was a kid, thought everybody’s dad was on the radio. I can identify somewhat. My father designed and built the house I grew up in, and having a wife and two daughters, made the bathroom quite large. I was shocked when I saw other people’s bathrooms. I’d just assumed everyone had a bathroom that big. Teddi tells us that her father didn’t act like a famous guy, and nothing was just handed to her. She wants the same for her kids, and doesn’t want them acting entitled. She’s about a million times more down-to-earth than LisaR.

Dorit says they’ve gone way over budget with the renovations. She wanted an indoor/outdoor space, a kitchen facelift, and a bigger master closet. PK is surprised she’s going to Vegas with Erika and LisaR. He says last time he saw Erika, she was horrible to him. We flash back to the reunion. He adds that LisaR was a joke. In her interview, Dorit says LisaR came after her to defame her character. We flash back to the reunion some more. PK says he’s going to keep his opinions to himself.

Dorit and Teddi meet for drinks. LVP joins them, and says she loves the name Teddi. Teddi tells her that her name was originally Teddi Joe; it was very country. LVP grills her, and says if she has a sense of humor, they’re good. Teddi says her sense of humor is very dry. They talk horses. LVP tells them about the Vegas trip, and how it’s everybody’s birthday. Dorit hasn’t had any communication with Erika, and tells them it remains to be seen how it goes. She’s a little worried, and says it depends on what attitude Erika brings. She’d thought she and Erika would be fast friends, but Erika wasn’t very warm. She’s prepared to move past it though. Teddi’s birthday is tomorrow, and Dorit asks her to come along. LVP adds, if she’s brave enough. Dorit gets all excited.

Everyone packs for the trip. Their closets all look like stores. Erika is bringing her glam squad. She says pretty soon she’ll need an aircraft hangar for her clothes, and informs us that Cary Grant had one. I didn’t know that.

Camille joins the ladies at the airport. She just flew in from Hawaii, and is already exhausted. In her interview, Kyle says Dorit’s hair is different every time she sees her, and she could really be bald for all Kyle knows. Teddi is introduced around. Erika says, fresh beginnings, happy birthday, yay. Kyle explains that LisaR is still in New York, but will be coming later if she’s able. She invited Eileen, but she couldn’t make it. Right. She’s probably washing her hair. We find out Teddi doesn’t like to shop, and it gets very quiet. That’s it. She’s off the show. Erika talks about buzz shopping, saying she buys more once she’s had a cocktail. Lisa callsR, and says she has the girls covered, and will meet them in Vegas tonight. In her interview, Dorit says she has unresolved feelings, and it would be a better trip without LisaR, but the time is guaranteed fun with LVP and Kyle.

We’re off. Happy birthdays and champagne all around. I would love to fly like this just once. There’s turbulence, and Kyle gets weird. LVP spills champagne on Kyle’s Birkin bag, and chaos and hilarity ensue.

A butler comes with the hotel suite. Kyle says LVP always wants the best room, but she’s taking it this time. Like any of these rooms are shabby. Camille, LVP and Kyle hang out in LVP’s room. Camille asks if things are cool with LisaR now. Kyle tells them about running into Harry on a hike, and how he said her sister can never be around the group again. Since Kim isn’t on the trip (or the show this season), I don’t see this as being a problem, but really? #WhatDidHarryDo  We flash back to the bunny incident at the reunion. Kyle says Harry was clearly upset, and it was weird. She’d rather have an enema or root canal than discuss it with LisaR. LVP thinks it will be a recipe for disaster with Dorit.

Dorit has brought her hair and makeup stylists, because she can’t live without them. Erika’s squad works on her. She tells them no polite lip. Everyone looks fantastic, and make me wonder why I even bother. The ladies gather for a kiki before going out. Teddi has a fabulous body, and is wearing the shortest dress in the world. LisaR shows up, and Dorit says, help.

Next time, fun at the club, a sex toy made of ice, gambling, Erika admits to being an a-hole, and Dorit confronts Lisa.

🎡 Las Vegas

LasVegas3  LasVegas

LasVegas4

😜 Emojis of the Week

WeekDays

December 18, 2017 – A Missing Disco Ball, the Return of Lala & a Pinch of 90

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

Since The I Hate This Show Right Now Walking Dead is done for the season, I took Sunday night off. Off of here anyway.  It was past time to Christmas up the house.

General Hospital

Franco used to be able to lie and sleep like a baby, but now it hurts not to tell Elizabeth things. He says there’s something he should have told her a while ago. She takes him where they can have some privacy, and says they’ll figure it out together.

At the MetroCourt, Jason calls Robin, and says things are still complicated. He needs to get in touch with Anna. Carly sees Sonny at the bar. They make holiday small talk about having fun. Zzzz…

Anna and Jordan run into each other in the park. Jordan says it’s nice to see the community coming together. She tells Anna that Andre was transferred, and seemed almost relieved. Anna says a secret like that, and watching the fallout, takes its toll. Jordan says it’s not over yet – not even close.

Drew tells Sam they’re not legally married. He meant every word of the vows, but needs to say them again in his own name. He asks her to marry him, but she says they are married. The vows are still real; names don’t count for anything. He says they do out in the world, and he wants things to be right. How much they love each other hasn’t changed. They kiss.

Maxie meets Lulu at Kelly’s. She asks if Maxie can team up with her for something worthwhile. She wants to host a food drive for feeding America.

Sam and Drew talk about all the different areas they have to deal with regarding the name change. Drew adds Oscar, and tells her about their awkward conversation. She says it will be an adjustment – like everything. They’ll work it out. He calls her Mrs. Kane. There’s a knock at the door. It’s Oscar. Sam leaves them to talk.

Franco tells Elizabeth that he may have learned the truth before everyone else. Okay, he did learn it before everyone else. After Jason came through the skylight, he confronted Andre, who admitted faking the death certificate. She says he told her, and the sky didn’t fall. She has questions, but is surprised he knew. He says he knew more than that.

Jordan tells Anna about a case where the wife knew nothing about her husband’s criminal activities, and how she’d judged her. She promised herself it would never happen to her, and she’s a cop, trained to look for clues. She had no idea about Andre; he never even raised a red flag. Anna says she was unaware as well, and some people are gifted with compartmentalizing. Maybe after he realized he couldn’t save his wife, he created a reality he could live with, and it worked for a while. Jordan says until his past caught up with him. Anna’s phone rings. Jason asks her to meet him at the MetroCourt. Jordan asks if everything is okay, but Anna isn’t sure

Jason joins Sonny and Carly. They talk about Spinelli being the best one to check over the manuscript. Sonny says, unless he gets distracted by the story. Ha-ha! Sam comes in, and asks Carly about settling the bill for the launch party. They go out in the hallway, and Carly asks if really abut the bill. Sam says yes, then admits it’s no. Drew just pointed out obvious, that they’re not legally married, and he asked her to marry him again. Carly asks what she said.

Drew Is glad Oscar dropped by. Their meeting didn’t go the way he’d hoped. Oscar says maybe they should forget it. No point in forcing it if Drew isn’t interested. Drew says he wanted to give Oscar space, but he is interested. He just doesn’t want to pressure Oscar, but hopes he’s interested too.

Franco tells Elizabeth that he wanted to know who was who, and Andre sent him a printed document, saying he’d know what to do with it. Elizabeth is shocked he knew and had proof. He says he went back and forth, but didn’t want to tell her something that would upset her. She’s at a loss. Two men literally had their lives stolen, and he could have proved everything. She asks him why, and he says, Jason.

Jason tells Sonny about the memory baseline. Sonny says the transfer was just a preliminary step to something bigger. Brick is working on getting the files from Russia. He says the money was laundered six ways to Sunday, and it will take a long time. Jason thanks him, saying he must be spending a bundle on the investigation. Sonny says he has his right hand back, and the investment is even better than he thought.

Sam tells Carly that she’s in love with Drew; they have a family and a child. Carly says she has a family and a child with Jason. Sam says, had; there’s difference. Carly tells her that she has time to think. Sam says it’s just a name, and it shouldn’t change anything. Carly gets what she’s doing, but wouldn’t be able to do it herself. She says Sam loves Jason, and no matter how well she guards her heart, it will eventually come out. Sam says she’s not denying it, and Carly says even if she doesn’t say the words, Drew probably knows. He’s out there thinking he’s doing the noble thing, and she’s doing the same, but no one is happy. Not Drew, not Jason, and especially not her.

Lulu says while she was doing research on the school lunch program, she found out that one in four Americans go hungry every day. They don’t talk about it, so it becomes an invisible problem. A lot of them live in urban deserts, where fresh produce isn’t available, so she wants to concentrate on that. Maxie asks how, and tells her that she needs to get the word out. Lulu says that’s why she came to her.

Franco says Jason hates him like God hates sin, and has a certain amount of influence over her. Elizabeth asks if Franco thought she’d dump him if Jason said so. Franco says Jason can’t get past the terrible things he did, even though it wasn’t him back then. He’s thinks Jason will come up with something to make him pay. Elizabeth asks if he thinks Jason will hurt him. Franco says it wouldn’t surprise him, but he’s afraid of Jason changing her viewpoint on him. He didn’t tell the truth, and was a coward. Elizabeth says, yes, he was.

Oscar is like, it’s cool, and Drew says, baby steps. They talk about Scout. Drew says Scout would love to meet him, and Oscar says he’d like to meet her. Drew tells him that they’ll set that up.

Anna joins Sonny and Jason. Jason tells Anna that before Andre left the country, he stashed a flash drive in an ornament that he gave to her. She says it must be the disco ball, but she didn’t know anything was inside of it. She says it’s at home, and she’ll get it. I’m guessing it’s with the other ornaments. No way it could be this easy.

Sam says that Carly adores Jason, and would do anything to give him what he wants. Carly says she does, and he wants Sam’s happiness. Jason will be okay; he’ll survive without her. The person she wants it for is Sam, but she’s just worried about Drew. Jason is just as much of a victim, but it seems like Drew has all the sympathy and is the only one allowed to grieve. Jason came back after being held captive for five years, and found out his life was no longer his own, yet everyone is wringing their hands over Drew. Sam says Jason will be fine. Carly tells her that’s exactly why she’s with Drew, and why it’s a mistake.

Lulu tells Maxie that she wants to host the event at Kelly’s. They’ve already offered a huge donation of fruit and vegetables. Maxie thinks The Floating Rib will match it, and Lulu is also going to talk to Carly about the MetroCourt. She tells Maxie they need a social media presence, and Maxie says, done. Lulu says she makes giving fashionable.

Elizabeth tells Franco that her biggest problem is that Jason is Jake’s father. This affected her son’s life. Doesn’t he care about how Jake feels? Franco says her boys are the second-best thing that’s ever happened in his life, and it’s hard for him. He doesn’t want Jason near Jake; hanging out, and bonding in matching black T-shirts. The last thing he wants Jake to know about him are the horrible things he’s done. Elizabeth says he’s going to eventually find out, with or without Jason. Franco was sick. He’s worried Jason can persuade Jake otherwise, but she says she can be persuasive too. He can’t keep doing this. The world is bigger than him and his fears. He says she’s his world, and to tell him he has her. She says he does, but he has to stop. If he has any deep, dark secret, now’s the time.

Drew and Oscar make small talk about school. Drew asks if Oscar has any questions, but Oscar says none he can probably answer. Drew tells him to take a shot, and Oscar asks what he was like when he was younger, and what it was like with his first girlfriend. Drew wishes he could answer, but he can’t remember. Oscar would also like to know about his mom, if she ever let loose or was she always like a mom-in-training? Drew says his mom might enjoy that conversation, but Oscar thinks she wouldn’t give him answers. He does know one thing about Drew; the music he liked, or at least what he thought Oscar’s mother would like. He’d made a CD for her. Drew can’t believe she kept it, and asks if there are any embarrassing songs, but Oscar says it’s pretty solid. He asks if Drew would like to hear it.

Sonny says if they find the flash drive intact, then what? Jason says he’ll ask Drew to undergo the procedure. Sonny asks what if he says no, and Jason thinks he can remember on his own. Even though he has Jason’s memories, why are they so different? He thinks Drew already remembers more than he realizes.

Carly says Sam just admitted she loves Jason. Sam says she always will, but is in love with Drew. Carly says you can love two people, but only be with one. She tells Sam you should be with the one who really gets you, all the way to your toes. Otherwise, what’s the point?

Back at the park, Anna tells Jordan there’s something important in the box of ornaments, and she has to find it.

Sam says Carly makes it sound easy. Carly knows it’s not, but whatever Sam decides, she has her back. She says she’d by lying if she didn’t say she was rooting for Jason, but the team she’s on is Sam’s.

Carly goes back inside. Sam and Jason gaze at each other. Sam leaves.

Elizabeth tells Franco to promise no more secrets. He says one more, and he’s secret free. He tells her that he went to see Betsy after he found out Drew was alive. He wanted to know why she sent Drew away, and not him. She told him it was because she was protecting Drew. According to her, he tried to kill Drew by pushing him down the stairs. She sent Drew away, and kept Franco close to keep an eye on him. Elizabeth says Jason was right; he’s evil. When Jason finds out Franco is the person he thought he was, he’ll pay. This is all just in Franco’s mind. Elizabeth says if they’re going to make it work, she needs to know. He says no more secrets. She asks if he promises, and he says, cross my heart. Why does he do this?

Sonny asks Carly if everything is okay. Carly tells him that Sam is overwhelmed. She tried to help, but thinks she made things worse. Anna calls Jason. She asks him to meet her in the park, and tells him that they have a problem.

Sam asks Drew how it went with Oscar. He thinks it went well; at least better than the first time. He asks how she is. She left pretty fast, and he hopes it wasn’t the proposal. She says he was right; they’ll always be them. Legalities mean nothing. She loves him, their life together, and everything they’ve created. Yes, she’ll marry him. He tells her that he loves her so much, and she makes him happy, but they can’t right now. Not like this.

Franco apologizes to Elizabeth for lying. She wishes he hadn’t, but understands. There’s no reasoning with Jason when he sees something a certain way, but moving forward, he needs to be brave enough to trust her, so she can trust him with her heart and boys’ hearts. She loves him more than she’s ever loved anyone. She can’t wait to be his wife. They kiss.

Sonny asks Carly what’s really going on with Sam. She tells him that she and Drew aren’t legally married. He says the hits just keep on coming, but she wishes Sam could see it as a blessing. She thinks staying with Drew is the noble thing, but loves Jason. How do you stay married, even if you love someone, when your soulmate still in picture? Sonny says maybe she’ll realize. Carly asks what he and Jason were talking about, and he says how to handle a threat, when you don’t know what you’re dealing with. Faison switched them for a reason, but they don’t know what it is.

Drew tells Sam that Oscar has questions about who he was, but he couldn’t answer them. It’s not fair to him or any of his kids, and especially not to Sam. He needs to try get his memory back. The person he loves most should know about him. He asks her to wait for him. He has to find himself. He feels like they’re meant to be, and they’re forever. She kisses him.

Jason meets Anna at the park. She tells him the ornament is gone. Her housekeeper must have made a mistake, and put it in the box with the other ornaments. The rest are all accounted for, except for that one. Jason thinks it’s not an accident. She asks him what was on the flash drive, and he says supposedly Drew’s memory. It can lead them to the person who put it into motion.

We see the disco ball opened on a desk. So when is Faison getting here?

Tomorrow, Obrecht tells Britt not to betray Faison, Julian says he only told Alexis the good news, and Sam wants to know what’s going on.

🌽  On a Personal Note…

In regard to Lulu’s venture to feed America, please donate to your local food bank when you can. I understand what it’s like to be hungry. Having gone through broke AF times, the food bank was an invaluable resource. Lulu was right about there being a lack of fresh produce though. It’s hard to come by when you’re poor and hungry. Since I live in an area where there are farms not far away, it was a real blessing when farmers donated to the bank. Another blessing was the “ugly” vegetable department in my Shoprite, where they sell the not-so-pretty vegetables, as well as those that are still edible, but about to turn. (Not turn into zombie vegetables, but they wouldn’t be lasting much longer.) So besides donations, you can also sign petitions requesting that places like Walmart carry these. And if you are the one who’s hungry, there’s no shame in going to your food bank. It’s there for a reason – use it – but pay it forward when you’re back on your feet.

Vanderpump Rules

I’m not sure how last week can be topped. Unless Jax is drawn and quartered.

Stassi and Brittany go to the spa. Today would be Brittany and Jax’s two-year anniversary. Brittany had planned a spa day for the two of them, but since he can’t keep it in his pants, she’s bringing Stassi instead. She’s one of the few people who knows exactly how Brittany feels. Brittany says she keeps going all over the place. Stassi would never suggest not getting back together, but she is. Brittany tells her that she knows what’s best, but she doesn’t know if she can follow through. Stassi knows Jax is saying what she wants to hear, and doesn’t want her to go through what she did. We flash back to that. Brittany says it’s so new, and she’s confused. She admits to having sex with Jax last night. She doesn’t know why, and Stassi says she’s feeling emotion when he’s crying and whining he’ll never do it again.

Tom and James take Jax out for a drink. He wishes Brittany would hook up with someone else, and they’ d be even. Once again showing us what a shallow, empty-headed jerk he is. In his mind, it would fix things. He tells them he was planning on staying at a hotel, but ended up staying at the apartment. They had more sex in the last two days than they’ve had in six months. Tom says it’s been two months since he’s had any, and it’s freaking him out. In his interview, James wonders if this is what the future holds for him. Tom is starting to feel skeezy coming on to his own girlfriend, and downloaded an audio book on intimacy at three am.

Schwartz brings Lisa flowers, and she asks what he’s done. He says the meeting they had left a bad taste in his mouth, and he wanted to apologize on behalf of both of them. Lisa says it’s not him that’s guilty, but Tom is being negative and accused her of spying. Schwartz says they’re a team, and he wants to “moisturize” the situation. Lisa tells him some of the things Tom said, and says she and Ken are bringing experience, financing, and a plethora of other things to the table. She needs them to be positive. Ken says they should grasp the opportunity both hands. Schwartz says they are really appreciative, and that he’s ready to get serious. They’re invested in this. Lisa promises they’ll have another meeting. Lisa thinks the Toms and Jax must have a standing order with the flower people, since they need to apologize so often.

Lisa and Nathalie (Lisa’s partner) meet with Stassi at SUR. Lisa goes over some of the things they’ve already done for the upcoming party. Stassi says she didn’t dream about being an event planner, but wants to be a boss, and she can’t think of anyone better to learn from. Scheana was concerned that Stassi would be telling them what to do, so Nathalie tells her it’s not her job to deal with the servers. In her interview, Stassi says she should be annoyed, but she isn’t. It shows she’s above all that now. Lisa wants to see Stassi mature as much as the business has, but says she can’t wish for everything. Stassi doesn’t want to mess anything up, and Lisa tells her just be on the same page as her and Nathalie.

Katie tells Schwartz about the girls throwing a party for Brittany. They don’t want her to be scared of dumping Jax’s ass and starting over. Tom comes over, and tells Schwartz that he found a machine that can freeze any drink. Schwartz tells him not to get ahead, because Lisa and Ken are still mulling it over. In his interview, Tom says if the new restaurant turns out to be the one that got away, it will haunt him. Schwartz says from now on, they only vent to each other. Katie is proud of him, and says they can bring the quirk and flair, and Ken and Lisa can bring the class.

Brittany joins Ariana at the stables. Ariana says if she didn’t have riding, she doesn’t know what she’d do. It always centers her, and she wants to carry that back to her relationship. She’s riding in a competition, and is nervous because she wants to win. I think that’s the idea of a competition. She takes a spill, and the horse gets kooky. She tells Brittany she bailed, because she realized he wasn’t going to stop. She’s worried he might get spooked during the competition.

At Vanderpump Dogs, Lisa cuddles some of the furbabies. Raquel is volunteering today, and in her interview, Lisa says she’s like Bambi on steroids. She tells Raquel she still ahs to treat it like a job, and show commitment. In his interview, James says he and Raquel both have their own ways of dealing with things. He smokes weed; she pets dogs. James tells Lisa that he’s ready for his Turn It Up Tuesdays at SUR. In her interview, Lisa thinks if he does something autonomous, he’ll take responsibility, and might actually get it together.

Tom and Ariana’s brother go to watch Ariana compete. She says she and Walter (the horse) don’t have that trusting relationship yet, aka, she doesn’t trust him. Tom tells Jeremy that she always gets freaked out before a show. Tom says it’s awkward to broach the subject with him, but he and Ariana haven’t been having sex. Ariana said if he cheated once, they’d be done, but he wonders how anyone could blame him. Jeremy says they have to hash it out; there’s a root to the problem somewhere.

We watch Ariana ride. Tom thinks she looks hot. They already have a whip, so he thinks maybe they should get a saddle. She gets a blue ribbon. He says, save a horse, ride a cowboy – or a bartender.

Brittany tells Jax she’s going to Stassi’s for a pajama party. They’re throwing it in her honor, with her favorite things, and will probably talk sh*t about him. He says it’s between the two of them, and has nothing to do with the other girls. Brittany says she loves him, but it’s hard. He doesn’t understand how people can say he’s manipulative. I would say only to girls with no brain, but Stassi isn’t stupid. I find him repulsive, so I just don’t get it. Brittany asks if she’s going to find anything else out, but he says no.

Stassi wants the party to be special, and got a beer cheese recipe from Brittany’s memaw. Katie brings a piñata with Jax’s face on it, and Kristen has a gun that shoots tequila into your mouth. No thanks. I don’t even want to drink it from a glass.

The guys meet at a bar. The owner was once the manager at PUMP, and Tom is psyched, hoping the meeting about TomTom leads to something like that for him. Schwartz says the girls have set aside their differences to hate Jax together.

Brittany arrives, and Scheana and Ariana are right behind. In her interview, Stassi says it feels good to be the bigger person, but she hates when the angel wins. She shows Brittany the spread of all her favorite foods, and the beer cheese gets her approval. In her interview, Brittany confesses that it was a brave attempt, but not like her grandmother’s cheese.

The guys do shots. Tom says it’s the perfect storm ready to destroy the City of Jax. In his interview, Schwartz says the girls are the ideal espionage team, and Jax doesn’t appreciate the sh*t storm coming his way.

The girls beat on the piñata, and Brittany rips its head off. Alrighty then.

James tells everyone about his debut at SUR. If he does it right, he gets a percentage of the bar. In his interview, he says it’s crazy how much can happen in a year. We flash back to him being a total idiot. He swears he’s changed. My jury is out. It’s still early in the season.

The girls have orchestrated a spell. Stassi says it’s about scorning a cheating lover, and Katie is facilitating. In her interview, Katie says it’s so that Jax will receive his karmic punishment. Brittany says normally, she wouldn’t dabble in witchcraft, but she thinks the way Jax treated her, even Jesus would be on board. They light some candles and use some other props. Ariana is concerned that if she goes a whole night being cordial, Stassi will want to be friends again. Everyone kisses and makes up.

Lisa gets a drink from Wesley, the new SUR bartender. She has a meeting there with Lala. She tells Lala it’s been a while, and Lala asks if she’s surprised to hear from her. She’d like her job back. She has a man who provides her with amazing things (she’s still with the same guy), but he’s not an ATM machine, and she wants to pay her own bills. Lisa says she has a tendency to cut and run when she gets nervous, and makes things up. She says she should have been honest, and admits to leaving Lisa hanging, but asks forgiveness. It is granted. Lisa says she’s always fought for her. She tells Lala that she likes her very much, and Lala says she’s changed a lot. Lisa tells her she can come back. In her interview, Lisa says Lala is a fabulous hostess, and inside the tough exterior, is like a lost puppy. She tells Lala if she becomes unreliable, she’s out.

Peter asks how Jax is doing. He says it’s getting better, and the sex is the best. Tom says he should be prepared. Schwartz says they’ve taken precautionary measures. Tom brings out a locking chastity device for men. I’m not sure what to say…

Brittany isn’t sure what she’s going to do. She doesn’t want to upset anyone. Ariana asks if he told her it was a onetime thing, because it wasn’t. She says several people have said it. Stassi says she’ll always hear things about Jax, and for the most part they’re true. Ariana does a perfect imitation of Jax making excuses. Brittany calls him, and he goes outside with the phone. He swears on his life that it was only once. Brittany decides to bluff him, and says she has proof; she’s there. He asks why she’s setting him up, and she says she didn’t know it was more than once. She tells him Faith isn’t really there, but she wants the truth. He asks what does it matter, once or ten times, mirroring exactly what Ariana said when she mimicked him. He says it doesn’t make a difference, but she says it changes everything – he’s gone. Jax, who by now is pacing up and down the sidewalk, screams for her to shut-up, and that he didn’t do it. She says that’s not changing anything. They’re done. She hangs up.

Jax comes back in, and tells the guys that it was only once. Tom isn’t doubting it, but if he did it more than once, he needs to tell her. Jax insists it was just once.

Ariana calls Tom, and tells him that Jax isn’t allowed to stay at the apartment tonight. The girls are going back with Brittany. He knows how crazy Kristen is, and it will get intense if he comes home. Tom tells the table that the girls are charged up, and Jax can’t go home tonight.

Brittany stirs her drink, and shakes her head. The rest of the girls all look bummed.

Next time, Lisa asks if the Toms are in or out, Nathalie tells Stassi that Lisa is hard to impress, and Katie and Schwartz argue.

👰 💍 The 90-Day Fiancé finale was tonight, along with a Couples Tell All, but I still have to watch it before I prepare my thesis. However, I can’t hold inside that I was right about Molly not making it to the altar with Luis. Not only did he scoff at being a stepfather, saying they were her kids, he got really weird with his deflection during an argument. In the middle of her wailing about how he was a bully, and didn’t want her kids around, he suddenly started criticizing how she decorated with things like Buddhas,  owls, and candles, practically saying she was a devil worshiper. It was out of the blue, off-topic, and strange. She called it quits, but as if life wasn’t bad enough for her, Molly was already married to him. They weren’t going to the church, but had already been to a Justice of the Peace. D’oh! Not sure what happens now. The producers were pretty shocked.

😧 Postscript: I’m watching Couples Tell All as I’m editing this, and they’re back together. Once again, I don’t know what to say…

WTFSteve

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