Category Archives: Lisa Vanderpump

April 11, 2017 – Sonny Sees Jax, No One Gets the Baby, Beverly Hills Reunites & Imposters Bids Adieu

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Lulu brings Rocco to visit Dante at the station. She’s all ready for her visit with Charlotte. Dante asks what she’s afraid of.

Hayden is having coffee outside of Perks, while Curtis runs the steps. She’s adding an extra kick to her coffee, and offers him a bottle in a paper bag. He accepts, saying he has to stay hydrated. She’s hiding from Finn because she wants to get back together and is scared he’ll say yes.

Finn isn’t doing too well. He’s like forget it, and we see he’s given himself a shot. But it’s a dream.

The hooded figure goes through Alexis’s house. He looks at a photo album. Alexis arrives home.

Carly tells Sonny not now. He asks if she heard him right, and repeats that he wasn’t unfaithful after all. I’m going to say this again. That wasn’t what she was angry about in the first place. Why would this change anything? Another case of the man not listening and/or hearing what he wants to hear.

Alexis goes into the house and sees a light is on. She asks if anyone is there. Kristina walks in, and Alexis almost crowns her with a laptop.

Hayden tells Curtis that she left Finn with a list of rehabs. Curtis says he knows Finn hurt her. He wanted to kill him, but Finn is legit; he’s a good guy, but the detox was rough. Hayden says he called her out on all of her insecurities. Curtis says he was out of his mind. Hayden says if it wasn’t true, it wouldn’t have been in his head, and he doesn’t trust her. Curtis says Finn loves her, but he needs to go to rehab and it’s a long road. She can’t fix it or save him. If she tries, she’ll end up losing herself.

Hayden’s phone rings. It’s Finn. She asks if he’s okay, and he says not really. He wants her to come over. She asks if he’s called a rehab, and he says he needs to see her.

Sonny explains about the recording to Carly. He says a girl who’s cold-hearted enough to set him up, would have recorded the act, but she only recorded the aftermath. He says that Nelle drugged him, and that’s why he blacked out. He says it should have been a clue, since in all his years of drinking, it’s never happened before. Carly asks if he has proof, and he tells her Nelle confessed. He says they can be together now, because he didn’t listen to what the problem really is.

Lulu tells Dante she can’t wait to get to know Charlotte, and that she’s bought Charlotte a bunch of toys. Dante says she seems nervous. Rocco gives Dante some cookies. He tells Rocco they’re the best cookies ever, even though that’s doubtful from the look on his face. When Rocco runs off, Lulu tells Dante about Rocco adding extra salt. Dante tells Lulu that gifts or cookies won’t make Charlotte love her.

Finn tells Hayden he does trust her; that’s why he asked her to help with the detox. She says he didn’t have anyone else. He says he’s ashamed of how he treated her. She tells him that he needs help that she can’t give him, and to please find it. She hangs up. She puts more liquor in her coffee, and Curtis says she did good. She asks why she feels like crap then.

Finn tells Roxie that he blew it. Hayden wants him to go to one of those places. He doesn’t think he can handle 28 days without practicing medicine, Roxie, and Hayden, but if he doesn’t go, he’ll lose Hayden forever.

Kristina doesn’t think a laptop is a very good weapon, and Alexis says she’ll use a fireplace poker next time. Kristina points out that it’s weird, and Alexis is still jumpy. Alexis says it seemed like someone was in the house, and tells her about the light. Kristina says maybe she forgot that she left it on. Alexis tells Kristina about Nathan’s visit, and Kristina says he talked to her too.

Carly wonders why Nelle would confess now. Maybe she’s lying because she likes Michael. Sonny says as soon as she said she drugged him, he knew it was true. No matter how drunk he was, she’s not his type. I guess he’s never heard of beer goggles. Everything after that, is on him. He tells Carly how much he loves her, and asks if this can be over. Carly looks at the wine on the table with the two glasses, and says it can’t.

Alexis says Nathan had no right to question Kristina. Kristina says they just ran into each other, but he was more worried about Alexis than anything else. He thinks she might be withholding information and putting herself in danger. Alexis says she’ll call Jordan, and tell her to make Nathan back off. Kristina asks what she could be hiding at this point.

Finn calls Tracy because he needs a good dose of the truth. He gets voicemail, and apologizes for what he said, calling her the best friend he’s ever had. He tells her that he misses her. He decides to go out for some fresh air.

Hayden thinks that Curtis talking to Finn is a good idea. He needs a friend, and she can’t be one. Curtis has been where Finn is, and can possibly get through to him. Curtis says he can’t convince Finn to go to rehab any more than she can. She gets up, obviously drunk. She tells Curtis they should go shake their booties and dance the night away. He says she’s crazy, but in a good way. She kisses him.

Sonny asks Carly if this is about his ultimatum, and says that he didn’t know where to go. If he’d just said something that morning, they could have worked things out. He knows he’s not easy to live with, and that Nelle shook her faith in him. He says nobody knows him in his core – the ugliness, anger, and brokenness – except her, and she loves him anyway. He needs her to love him, and he loves her. He says they can do this, and asks her to come back. Tears roll down her cheeks, and she says that she’s sorry, but he has to listen. With perfect soap timing, Jax pops out while putting on his shirt.

Dante says Lulu should just be herself. Lulu said she tried that, and Charlotte hates her. She was thinking about her needs instead of Charlotte’s. Dante says the more time Charlotte spends with her, the more she’ll get to know and like her. He tells Lulu to just be present and listen, instead of using bribery. Rocco joins them, and asks if Lulu will love Charlotte more than him.

Sonny tells Carly that didn’t take long. Jax says it’s her business. Sonny asks if it bothers him that he’s a back-up or a side piece. Carly tells him not to be ugly. Sonny says she crucified him for months, for a mistake he didn’t make, and the first chance she gets, she spreads her legs. Oooh! Jax tells him to apologize and leave, and Carly says let him go on. Sonny says Carly can’t last five minutes without a man in her bed, and that makes her a bad wife, but a great whore. Carly smacks him.

Alexis tells Kristina that she’s not hiding anything, but Kristina doesn’t believe her. Alexis says it’s going to sound “out there,” and Kristina says she can handle it. Alexis tells her that she feels like Julian isn’t dead, and it’s something tangible. She hears someone knocking, and there’s no one there; the phone rings, and ditto from a number she doesn’t recognize. She says she knows how Kristina felt about him, but Kristina says she can’t tell Alexis how to feel. She accepts Alexis’s grief, but that doesn’t explain phantom phone calls or knocks on the door. Alexis tells her about the credit card and phone call from the gas station.

Curtis tells Hayden to take it easy. She says there’s an attraction between them, and she’s free now. He says she’s wasted. He likes her a lot; she’s beautiful, smart, and edgy, although she’s sometimes a pita, but they’re friends. He doesn’t want to waste that or take advantage of it. She tells him to make her forget, and kisses him again. Mimicking Jax’s timing, Finn walks out and sees them.

Finn says he thought he’d get some fresh air, and asks what they’re up to. Curtis says it’s not what it looked like. He says Hayden cares about Finn, but he has no one to blame but himself. She’s drunk and reckless because of him. If he doesn’t want to get help, Finn will crash and burn, and take her along with him. He says he’s been there, but Finn is worse off, considering how long he’s been using. He says it hurts to admit you need help when something has control over you. The addiction is controlling him, and he’d better take help or he’ll lose Hayden. Finn says he loves her, and walks away. Hayden starts crying, and Curtis holds her.

Carly tells Sonny that she’s sorry he’s hurt and found out the truth too late, but he doesn’t get to come in her house and name call. He says she wanted the truth, and she lists all the recent lies he’s told her. She says for someone who prides himself on his word, he’s the biggest liar of all. She says it’s never going to be different and he says that’s right, because they’re done. He slams out. Jax asks Carly if she’s okay. She says no, but she will be.

Alexis tells Kristina that she has unresolved feelings for Julian. She wants to believe that what he said in the letter is true, and she never got a chance to talk to him about it. Kristina says she had a huge loss and serious trauma; it’s going to take time to recover. Alexis thanks her for talking her down. Kristina suggests she stick around, and maybe spend the night. She finds the photo album on the floor. Alexis says she’s sure she’d put it away, and Kristina says it was open as though someone was just looking at it.

Dante tells Rocco that they love him more than ever, and Lulu says he’s everything. They’re just excited about him getting a sister. Dante says no parent likes any one kid better than another – it’s the law. Lulu says they love them both. Rocco asks if that means Charlotte’s dad loves her too. Dante says he does, but a judge needs to sort things out. He asks if Charlotte is going to live with them, and Lulu says for now, they’ll just visit with her. Group hug.

Curtis gives Hayden some water. She apologizes. Curtis says his ego can always use a boost. She asks what’s wrong with her, and he says only small stuff. She’ll bounce back with or without Finn; she’s too stubborn not to. She wonders if what Curtis said made a difference, and if Finn is further on road to recovery or worse off.

Finn meets with a cliché-looking drug dealer. Actually, he’s a cliché-looking drug dealer who also looks like he stepped out of the 1960s.

Carly looks for some legal contact information. She tells Jax that Sonny is going to lash out, and she’s not going to let him trample over her. She has nothing to feel guilty about. Jax asks if she is feeling guilty, but she says no. They shared something special about them. She says she should feel guilty because she gave up too soon – at least Sonny thinks she did. She says she fought for as hard and as long as she could, but she’s done.

Alexis says she was showing Diane some old photos. Kristina goes down Memory Lane, and Alexis says it was nice while it lasted. She says she’s tired, and Kristina asks if she wants her to stay over, but Alexis says she’s fine and don’t worry. She isn’t going to put herself in any danger, just to bed. Kristina leaves.

Alexis looks at the photo album. She discovers that pictures are missing.

Tomorrow, Nina asks Valentin if he’s hiding something, Brad gets good news, and a dead body is found.

If Loving You is Wrong

Alex tells the judge to check the birth certificate. He asks who Brad is. Randal insists he’s the father, and the judge asks if he’s taken a paternity test. He’s annoyed that Randal is wasting his time. He says it’s obvious neither one of them is a fit parent. He’s going to order that the baby be placed in foster care. Until paternity is established, neither one of them is going to see the baby. He kicks everyone out of his office.

Randal follows Alex and blocks her way. He tells her she can’t stop him from getting his son, and she says she just did. She hates the day she met him, and he says that makes two of them. He does that creepy smile, and says he has the upper hand. He’s going to the police to tell them that she set him up. He says her mother told him, so that’s proof. Alex says big deal; she’s dead. He continues being all weird, and talks about her parents getting killed. He says her parents were evil people, and he sees it in her. She smacks him and he laughs. Omg, I hate this guy. He asks when the funeral is being held, and if there’s a hillbilly fund in a mason jar for it. He tells her that she has nothing anymore, not even her baby boy. She asks him to hold her purse. Oh, okay, she starts yelling that he tried to rob her. He throws the purse back, and a taxi comes out of nowhere and picks her up.

Someone named Diane knocks on Kelly’s door. It’s her ex’s mother. She looks around, and says it’s a nice house. She asks if her son’s money bought it, but Kelly doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Diane asks why he’s in jail for fraud then. Kelly asks why Diane is there, and Diane says for her son; he needs a place to stay. She says Kelly owes him. Kelly doesn’t think it’s a good idea for him to stay there because of Justice. Diane finds his name ironic when his father didn’t get any in taking the fall for her. Kelly apologizes, and Diane says she’s not that sorry, since she’s free. She insists on Kelly helping him get back on his feet. Kelly says that’s not going to happen. Diane tells her not to make her show how far she’ll go when she’s been wronged. Kelly says she’s just looking out for her son, and Diane says watch her look out for hers.

Lushion talks to Lamont about Andrew. There’s been no trace of him. Pete calls. He’s getting sprung from the hospital soon, and going into protective custody. Pete isn’t thrilled, but Lushion says it’s for his own good. Pete says Eddie isn’t God and couldn’t even find him under an alias. He tells Lushion that he’ll keep in touch. Someone has to know where he is, and he trusts Lushion.

Randal stomps into the station. Lushion asks why he’s there, and he says to make a complaint. He’s supposed to talk to Rick, and asks if Rick is a good guy. Lushion says he is, and asks why Randal dropped the lawsuit against Eddie. Randal says he moved on to something better. Lushion says Eddie told him that he saved Randal’s life, but Randal says if the other guy hadn’t shown up, he’d be dead. Lushion asks if he saw another officer there, and shows him Andrew’s picture. Randal says he was a little busy, so no. Lushion asks if there was a shootout before they arrived, and Randal tells him that only Alex had a gun, and was holding it to his head. He claims she set everything up. He explains that the FBI told him to talk to Rick. Lushion asks if he’s sure he wants to go through with this. Randal says that’s Lushion’s problem; he wants to let Alex and Eddie go. Lushion tells Randal to leave Alex alone, but Randal insists that he did nothing and she tried to have him killed. He does the creepy smile thing, and says he’s letting nothing go. Lushion says it’s just going to get worse, and Randal says that’s his plan. Rick comes by, and Lushion introduces them.

Randal sits at Rick’s desk. Lushion tells Rick to take what he says with a grain of salt. He asks how bad the house is, and Rick says he needs a crew. Lushion asks if there are any leads, and Rick tells him they got DNA and hair from the house. Lushion wonders if they’re looking at someone, but Rick can’t say.

Eddie comes in the breakroom to bug Esperanza. He tells her internal affairs is driving him crazy. That’s a short putt. BA-DUM-CHH! She wishes she could burn some sense into his ass. She asks why he was in the office, and Eddie tells her to ask Alex. He says they’re trying to figure out what happened. He says Alex called her parents and had them kidnap Randal, and the DA is trying to find out about her. They see a news item about Andrew going missing. Esperanza says that should be of interest to him.

Lushion gets a crew out to clean the house. It says cleaning service on the van, but that’s not how it works. There’s a van that actually says “crime scene” on it that cleans up crime scenes. Not a regular cleaning service. I know this because, unfortunately, I lived next door to someone who committed suicide.

Lushion sees Brad parked in the driveway of Alex’s house. Brad says her car isn’t there, and Lushion says she totaled it. Brad asks if she’s okay, and Lushion tells him to ask her. He asks if Brad is all right. Brad says he’s fine, and asks what Lushion is doing there. Lushion explains they’re moving in, and gives Brad props for rescuing the baby. Brad says he did what he had to. Lushion calls him humble, and repeats that he should talk to Alex. He says the one thing he can’t do is protect his heart from her. Lushion says he has a lot of heart left, and he can fix it. Brad says he doesn’t want to, and Lushion asks why he’s there then. Brad doesn’t know, and Lushion says he has nothing to lose. A delivery truck comes. and Lushion has to run. Lushion tells the driver he has to come back. He needs a few more hours.

Natalie sits by Joey’s bedside at the hospital. Kelly comes in with flowers. Kelly asks how he’s feeling and he says like he got shot. She tells him that she brought flowers, and he says he’s not dead. Natalie tells her not to pay him any mind. She can tell something is up with Kelly, and Joey tells them to take it outside.

In the hallway, Natalie asks what’s going on. Kelly tells her about Ramsey. Natalie is shocked and sorry. Kelly says they’re looking for suspects. She says she hardly knew him, but Natalie says that doesn’t make it any less sad. She knows there’s something else, and tells Kelly to spill it. Kelly asks if a man has ever been abusive to Natalie, and tells her about Travis. She says he’s like a different person, and she doesn’t know what to do. Natalie suggests shooting him in his ass. Just pull the trigger one good time; she doesn’t even have to mess up her hair. She tells Kelly to get a gun. Kelly says she has a meeting to get a restraining order. Natalie says that’s good, but a gun will restrain him too. She’ll call her girl Michelle, and she’ll help Kelly. Kelly wants to focus on the restraining order. Natalie says she told her.

Alex looks at a family photo and cries. She’s cleaning the house, because when in doubt, scrub something. Esperanza knocks on the door. She says she called, but Alex says sorry, she needed time alone. Esperanza says she heard what happened and she’s sorry. She asks if Alex needs help with the funeral, but Alex says let the county deal with it. Esperanza thinks she’s being harsh, but Alex says they don’t deserve any dignity. She wants Esperanza to drop it.

Alex asks why she’s there, and Esperanza says she was checking on her. Alex says she’s fine and not to tell her she isn’t. Esperanza asks how the baby is, and Alex says the doctor says he’s fine. She tells Esperanza he’s been put into foster care, even though she had nothing to do with it. Esperanza thinks she called her parents to help her to get rid of Randal. Alex asks if she’s there to aggravate her, and Esperanza says she’s there to help. She knows that Alex went to see them. She shows Alex some phone records and pictures. Alex asks if she’s an investigator. Esperanza says she’s trying to get ahead of Alex being charged as an accessory to murder.

Esperanza says she can get in a lot of trouble. She tells Alex to drop the attitude, and asks if she never wants to see her kids again. She says that Alex has to come up with an air-tight excuse before someone comes around. She says protests have already started, and things can get ugly fast. Her father was part of an anti-government militia. She needs to come up with a good story; she can’t negate seeing her parents. She should say that she was trying to prevent Randal from harm, and not deviate from the story, no matter what. She tells Alex she was never there. Alex thanks her ,and they hug. (I guess Esperanza doesn’t realize Lushion is two houses away?)

Alex wipes her tears away.

Kelly can’t get in to see the attorney because he had an emergency. She asks if there’s someone else they can recommend; she can only come on her lunch break and needs to file the restraining order. She says it’s urgent, and the secretary says she’ll phone in the morning. Totally unrealistic, since I’m sure they would steer her to someone else. She has to get to Justice’s game, and asks for security to walk her to her car. She calls Justice, but he says the other team had to forfeit, so the game was canceled. He tells her that Travis is giving him a ride home. Kelly stares in silence at the phone.

Next time, Diane comes to Kelly’s office, Louise suggests that Alex could have cheated on Randal, and Lushion talks to Alex.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – The Reunion, Part One

Kyle gives Dorit the skinny on reunions. Along with her gorgeous German Shepherd. Dorit realizes she’ll have to put her big girl panties on. To change it up a little, we get pre-reunion observations from the women in their home settings. We also get mini flash forwards. Next is the getting ready. LisaV tells Andy not to be mean.

And so we begin. Hmm…I’m not crazy about Eileen’s outfit. The outfits as a whole aren’t that dazzling, except for LisaV, Dorit and Erika. LisaR and Erika are wearing the same shoes, and Lisa informs us that she’s not wearing underwear. Andy talks about people on social media calling Dorit “Doritos,” and she says with a name like hers, she’s used to it. Everyone talks about how their names have been made fun of. Andy asks Erika about being chosen for Dancing with the Stars, which at this point, hadn’t started filming yet. LisaR says it’s about pacing yourself, and thinks Erika can go all the way. She has the same dance partner that LisaV did, and they joke about that.

We jump right in, with Andy talking about how Dorit called Erika “cold.” We flash back to various interactions between the two of them. I just know it’s coming – Pantygate. We end up with the Hong Kong dinner where Erika lost it. The T-shirt dress is discussed. Oh, for God’s sake. A fan thinks Dorit wanted to pick a fight with Erika from day one, but Dorit says they got off on the wrong foot, and it wasn’t her intention. The first Pantygate mention is dropped, and Dorit says it was meant to be playful. Erika says there’s a bit of truth in all kidding, and that’s how you get away with sh*t. I tend to agree, but the reactions to that went way overboard and for way too long.

Dorit says you can’t live a life walking on eggshells. Andy asks LisaV if Erika is being fair in saying Dorit talks sh*t, and Lisa says in all fairness, Dorit does talk a lot. Andy asks Eileen about Erika’s reaction to her saying that it’s not like Dorit killed her child, and Eileen says she didn’t feel personally attacked. She realized something else was going on. Erika says she didn’t want to break down like that, but it is something she thinks about occasionally, with her son being a police officer. We find out that Erika leant Eileen her glam squad as a peace offering. LisaR says meltdowns happen, and Kyle says it was like someone took over Erika’s body. They agree they all felt bad for Eileen.

Andy asks Erika about being the mom of a police officer. She says you know anything is possible. She doesn’t want to make a big deal about it, but she does get scared. He lives with her, and only when he pulls up after work, can she relax. She says he gets ribbed at work about the show. They talk about her sensitivity, and how she reveals herself slowly. Kyle says being sensitive can make you extra guarded. They discuss Erika’s trip home, and when her mother apologized for being hard on her as a child. We see a part of their conversation we hadn’t seen before. LisaV asks if Erika went the opposite in raising her son. Lisa says her parents weren’t demonstrative, so she lavished affection on her children. Erika says that her mother was loving, but made her grow up quickly. She talks about still giving her son hugs and kisses, and how much he hates it.

Andy says that LisaV, LisaR, and Eileen tried to co-exist, but it didn’t always turn out well. What a stupid choice of words. We flash back to some of their interactions. Part of the problem with these reunions is that they bring back old stuff people have gotten past, they relive the moment, and get pissed off all over again. Eileen says she was right about LisaV not being so nice. They talk about the Yulan documentary. Eileen says she wanted to bridge the gap by going with Lisa to watch it, and Lisa says there was a connection. Andy asks if it brings LisaV joy to see LisaR in the hot seat, and she says Andy likes it more. Nice return. Kyle thinks she does a little. LisaV says she likes a lot about LisaR, although sometimes she wants to strangle her. LisaR says that she’d thought they were cool when she was invited on the Hong Kong trip, and LisaV says a lot of things came up in Hong Kong. We flash back to LisaR being an idiot at the dinner. LisaR says they had a powerful moment, and they start talking about a mutual friend who passed away. Andy says he feels like they’re on the path to good things. He’s a regular Papa Hemingway tonight.

We move on to Dorit’s accent, and flash back to some Dorit moments. Andy asks why Boy George lives with them. She says she has a big house and extra room, and he lands there between gigs. (At one time, PK was his manager.) They talk about the flack she’s gotten for her parenting, and how many domestic helpers she has. Kyle says she never had s nanny, but it depends on the parent’s working life, so she’d never judge anyone. Dorit speaks Hebrew, Italian, Spanish and English fluently, and somehow, we go back to the accent thing. LisaR has to be shown the video to be reminded she called Dorit’s accent fake. Andy tries to stir the pot, but it doesn’t happen.

PK is going to join them. Andy asks how Dorit feels. She hopes the women don’t attack him, and that he gets to have his say. Andy asks how Erika feels, and she says it’s not her show. Alrighty then.

We get a glimpse of the Beverly Hills lifestyle, and flash back to various shopping trips, vacations, parties, and purchases. Andy asks if any of them will wear tonight’s outfits again, but most of them say no. Kyle has a section of her closet devoted to scary moments on the show. Andy suggests a clothing museum. We revisit Dorit’s $230,000 Bentley. They talk expensive cars for a while. We find out that Erika’s glam squad flies business class. Well, unless they’re on the private jet.

We see a little of PK behind the scenes. Dorit tells him to just be himself. Andy asks how he feels, and he says a bit nervous. We find out his name is Paul. Andy asks how he got so rich, and he says he started richer in real estate. Andy asks if his nosiness is natural or is he getting involved where he doesn’t belong, and he says maybe 50/50. And here it comes…

We flash back to the source of Pantygate, and see clips from its formation. Andy stupidly asks why it makes Erika uncomfortable, and she says the whole thing is embarrassing. Dorit has to insist once again that she didn’t think Erika did it on purpose, because for some reason, Erika is deaf to those words. Dorit says it was like saying don’t talk about a pink elephant in the room, and Andy – once again the soul of eloquence – asks if she’s comparing Erika’s who-ha to a pink elephant. Kyle says Erika was asked if she was wearing underwear, and didn’t volunteer the information. Well, really she did. Kinda. Erika says it’s gone on too long. PK says it wasn’t like he sat there and stared. LisaV says she didn’t think it would be such a big deal, since Erika wears a c-word necklace. Erika says that’s different than being told that you’re doing something like that on purpose. Because again she can’t hear that no one ever said that. If they had, we’d have seen the video ten times already. PK tells Erika not to call his wife a nasty person, and she says she’s not. She’s calling PK a nasty person for what he said.

Next time, round part two, LisaR again asks if people were doing coke at Dorit’s dinner party, Kim joins the group and tells Eden not to take her inventory, Erika tells Dorit to get the f out of here, and LisaR walks out.

🎭 Tonight, was the Imposters finale. If you haven’t been watching, I highly suggest you marathon this on On Demand. It’s fun and flirty, with a plot of twists and turns. In the final episode of the season, we got a glimpse of Maddie’s past and saw her first con. At the end, almost every character got conned as well, and Uma Thurman made a brief appearance. While there was promise of more intrigue to come, to date, Imposters hasn’t been renewed or canceled. I’m hoping for a second season. This show is like a breath of fresh air.

🚤 Below Deck Mediterranean starts Tuesday, May 2nd at 9 pm, and will have female captain this season. Although I’m looking forward to the new shows, I’ll miss Captain Lee.

April 10, 2017 – Jake Adds to the Timeline, Landon Follows Through, the SUR Reunion Continues & Some Random TV Thoughts

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Alexis comes home asking if anybody’s there, and then wonders why she said that, since she’s the only one living there. There’s a knock at the door. It’s the PCPD, particularly Nathan. Alexis invites him in. She asks if it’s about Julian.

Sam is trying to find out who used Julian’s credit card. The doorbell rings, waking Scout. It’s Elizabeth. Because in Port Charles, no one ever calls first. She wants to talk to Jason about Jake.

Franco asks Jake why he’s not at home. He tells Franco that nobody knows he’s gone; the babysitter was busy texting, and the other kids were asleep. Franco says that Jake’s mother is going to flip out. Jake wants to know why Franco doesn’t want to be his friend anymore.

Kristina runs into Michael at Perks. She can’t believe it’s been a year since she lived in PC. Neither can I – it’s like she never left. She asks what’s up, and he says while she was studying, their family imploded – again.

Sonny says Nelle made him think that Jax slept with Carly, then he was drinking and blacked out. Nelle tells him that she drugged him.

Jax asks Carly what they’re doing, and she says trying to feel better. He said they made this mistake last time, but she says it’s not a mistake and she doesn’t want to stop. She leads him to the bedroom.

Alexis asks Nathan if Julian washed up on shore. He says it’s nothing definitive, but someone used Julian’s credit card to buy a bus ticket to LA. Alexis says she doesn’t know anything about his credit cards, since they always kept those things separate. Nathan asks if she has any reason to believe he’s alive.

Elizabeth tells Jason that Jake is fine. She just wanted to tell him about a follow-up session that she scheduled. She says she’s been thinking about how Andre said they need to be on the same page for Jake to open up. Sam asks if there’s anything she can do to help, since Jake is her stepson. Elizabeth says her involvement might be confusing to Jake. He adores Franco, but Franco isn’t allowed to be part of the equation. Why is Sam?

Franco tells Jake that he’ll always be his friend. Jake asks why he stopped coming by, and if he’s mad at Elizabeth. Franco says he doesn’t want Jake to get in trouble for sneaking out, and has to take him home before Elizabeth finds out and has a meltdown. Jake says the studio is cool and he never wants to leave.

Michael tells Kristina that someone came between Carly and Sonny. Kristina thinks it’s Jax, but Michael says no. He tells her that Carly isn’t the one who cheated. He explains how Sonny got drunk on Thanksgiving and slept with Nelle. Kristina is shocked. Michael says there were extenuating circumstances, but Kristina is having a hard time believing it. Michael says it was terrible, but Nelle was hurting too. Kristina asks why he’s defending her.

Sonny is stunned. Nelle says he assumed the worst, and she didn’t disagree. When she made his drink, she slipped a sleeping pill in. He passed out cold upstairs, and she got in the bed with him. She says she pretended to be upset afterward. He says he underestimated her. He thought she was only making something bad even worse by taking advantage of him, but she went beyond that, making him feel guilty for what he didn’t do. She tore everything apart over a lie. He says there’s something wrong with her. Well, yeah, I thought all that was explained already.

Jax and Carly kiss their way into the bedroom. There’s a song part and they get busy. I get busy too, doing some quick chores.

Alexis thinks someone must have stolen Julian’s wallet. He wouldn’t travel by bus or even fly coach. Nathan asks if he would temporarily lower his standards. Alexis says she thinks he had money stashed away, and wouldn’t use a credit card if he was on the run. She tells Nathan that she’s tired, and they agree to let each other know if there’s anything new. Nice earrings, Alexis! As soon as Nathan is gone, Alexis grabs her coat and leaves.

Jason tells Elizabeth that there’s a massive difference between Sam and Franco. Elizabeth agrees, saying that Franco did a lot of art therapy with Jake, and if he’s going to open up to anyone, it’s Franco. Franco calls and tells them about Jake showing up. Jason says he’ll be right there. Elizabeth wonders how Jake got there. She says she doesn’t want Jason getting into it with Franco, and says she’ll drive. Jason promises Sam that he’ll control himself.

Michael tells Kristina that he’s not making excuses for Nelle. He says she took advantage of them at their most vulnerable. He tells Kristina about Nelle’s new job with Valentin, but says what matters is their parents. Kristina doesn’t think Carly should be so judgey, but Michael says that Sonny is just as bad. He thinks Sonny can fix it if he’ll wait. Kristina says the only way that’s going to happen is if he talks Sonny into it. Michael doesn’t want to play referee, but she says as the big brother, he has to step in.

Um…too late. Carly and Jax bask in the afterglow. Jax asks if it was wrong or very right, and Carly kisses him.

Nelle tells Sonny that there’s nothing left to say except that she was so wrong. She can’t change things. Sonny says she kept building on the lie and milking it, while he and Carly grieved and tried to hang on to what was left with their marriage. He goes over everything that Nelle did. He asks why the confession now; she’s in the wrong place for absolution. She asks why it matters then. He asks what’s in it for her, and she says that she doesn’t want it weighing on her. He says that after everything she did, she wants him to believe it was just guilty conscience? He doesn’t buy it. Michael walks in and asks what he doesn’t buy.

Carly tells Jax why complicate things? He thinks some context might be appropriate. She says they needed it. He says she always has a purpose, and she says it felt good to laugh again. He says they have nothing to do for a few hours, so…

Alexis goes to Sam’s place. She tells Sam about Nathan’s visit, and asks if that’s why Sam wanted her to stay at the spa. Sam says she didn’t want to worry Alexis, but Alexis says Sam can’t protect her from the world. Sam tells her that Curtis is working on it, but so far came up empty handed. Alexis asks what Sam isn’t telling her.

Jake is doing some painting, and Franco instructs him to attack the canvas. Jake says, go big or go home. Franco says they’re buddies, but he can talk to Andre – he’s one of the good guys. Jake says, but Franco gets it. He tells Franco about the action figures, and how he picked the scarecrow. He says it’s just a game though, and not as good as the stories with Franco. Elizabeth and Jason show up. Jake says he thought he could trust Franco, but he’s just like the rest of them.

Elizabeth says Franco is right, and the babysitter is very upset because she feels like she did something wrong. Jason says he’s too young to be out alone. Franco tells Jake that Jason is right and his parents call the shots. Jason wants to speak with Franco alone. Franco tells him to take his best shot. Jason says that’s what Franco wants.

Sam tells Alexis about the screen grab. Alexis thinks she knows who made the call. Sam shows her the picture.

Jax wonders what they should call it, and Carly says a rewind. He asks for some wine, and she leaves to get it. He says no guilt, no regret, and she says none.

Michael says he was waiting for Nelle like she had asked him to. She says she shouldn’t have come to Sonny’s house and shouldn’t have come to Port Charles. Sonny says she doesn’t want to be there when he tells Michael what she told him. He tells Michael about Nelle drugging him, and explains what happened, saying that it was all a twisted lie. He wants to tell Carly immediately. He tells Michael to tell Nelle to go, and get out of their lives forever. He leaves.

Michael tells Nelle that Sonny believes her because it absolves him, but she could just be telling him what he wants to hear. He asks if she really slept with Sonny, or drugged him and lied about it. Nelle explains that she didn’t want to sleep with Sonny, and thought it would be more decent. Michael wonders how that word could come out of her mouth. What she did is not only illegal, but she knows who Sonny is and what he does to his enemies. He asks why she didn’t tell him the truth. She says she was going to, but owed it to Sonny first; hurting Michael and Josslyn wasn’t in her plan. He snarks that being collateral damage makes him feel special. Nelle says she was going to tell him everything. He says that she threw away her last chance. She says they can still be friends, but he tells her to leave now.

Sonny bangs on Carly’s door. She tells him it’s not a good time, but he walks in anyway. He says that he has to tell her something that will change everything

Jason says that Franco acted like a responsible adult just to score points with Elizabeth. Jason doesn’t want Jake there again, and Franco repeats that he didn’t invite Jake over. Because Jason is so dense, he says that Franco convinced Jake that he understands him. He says don’t come near his kid again. Franco says that he does understand Jake better than Jason, and its pissing Jason off. Elizabeth comes in and asks what’s going on.

Alexis tells Sam that if Julian is alive, why is he torturing her? Sam says that she shouldn’t have told her. Curtis calls. After speaking with him, Sam tells Alexis that they know who used Julian’s card.

Jason tells Elizabeth that they were just discussing Jake’s well-being, and that the studio is off limits. Elizabeth says if Jake wants to paint, they’ll do it at home. Franco wonders why Jake came and feels more comfortable with him, and Jason says he’s a good manipulator. Franco tells Elizabeth that Jake is a great kid and takes after his mom.  They leave, and Franco cleans up. He finds a roll of paper and unrolls it. It’s the timeline. He looks at the scarecrow. Now there’s a boy hiding behind a tree next to it. Franco says Jake left this for him.

Nathan and Kristina have coffee. He says he wants to talk about Julian. Kristina says he’s dead. Nathan says Julian’s body was never recovered, and stranger things have been known to happen. That’s for sure. You can be in the middle of an explosion in Port Charles and still be alive. You could be the guy holding the bomb. Nathan thinks Alexis is keeping something from him, and might be placing herself in danger.

Sam says that Curtis traced the charge to a kid who found the card, and he said he purchased a bus ticket with it. The story checks out, since he was a runaway who had the card on him. Alexis says that doesn’t prove if Julian is dead or alive. Sam asks what answer she was hoping for, but Alexis doesn’t know.

The hooded figure lurks outside of Alexis’s house and opens the door. He goes inside.

Nelle begs Michael to believe her. He made her think she could move forward, not live in the past, and stop the plan, but it was too late. She doesn’t expect forgiveness now, but hopes someday he can. She couldn’t take it if he hated her. He says he can’t fix her; it’s not his job. He closes the door, leaving her on the porch crying.

Carly tells Sonny that it has to wait, but Sonny says it means a whole new beginning, and to just listen. He never slept with Nelle.

Tomorrow, Curtis meets with Hayden, Kristina asks what Alexis is hiding, and Sonny says he and Carly can be together.

Southern Charm

Whitney drops in on Thomas. We flash back to the pool party, and Whitney calls Thomas the Hugh Hefner of Charleston. He thinks being away from Kathryn has mellowed Thomas. Whitney says he’s single and ready to mingle, as his long-distance relationship became too long of a distance.

Kathryn tells us that the past year has been the worst. We flash back to the reunion where it was revealed she didn’t pass a drug test. She’s disappointed in herself, and totally humiliated. Geez, it’s not like it was heroin, for God’s sake. She visits a friend whose name I missed, but she’s been on the show before, and tells her about going to rehab. She says Thomas has temporary full custody, and she and Thomas aren’t on speaking terms right now. She’s hoping for eventual joint custody, having passed another drug test. They talk about Jennifer. Kathryn is skeptical of her friendship, since she’s been friendly with Thomas.

On her way to visit Jennifer, Cameran talks to her mother on the phone. They discuss Jennifer’s new baby having surgery. In her interview, Cameran tells us how not interested she is in having her own baby. She says she’s living her truth and it’s an empty one. I believe she’s referring to an empty nest, but I wish she’d worded that differently. A childless life isn’t necessarily an empty one. And there are always dogs. She arrives at Jennifer’s, bearing a baby gift. They look at baby Ascher, who is with the nanny. The poor thing needed brain surgery the day he was born because of brain matter protruding from his skull, but he’s doing well. Jennifer has an entire closet full of baby clothes for the rest of the Ascher’s baby life. Cameran says he’s cute and cuddly, but she still can’t find any maternal instincts.

Jennifer talks about Thomas reaching out, and Cameran tells her how well he’s taking care of the kids. She asks if Jennifer has talked to Kathryn, but she says no. This is kind of a shame, since Jennifer had been very supportive of Kathryn last season. Jennifer claims she “loves to love people,” but I get the feeling that it’s more like she loves to be loved. That kind of person doesn’t always make for a loyal friend.

Shep meets with Craig at some batting cages. Craig says baseball was his life growing up, and he wanted to play in the major leagues. After he gets up to bat, I see why that idea fizzled. Shep tells him about talking to Naomie. He asks how long Craig has known he didn’t graduate from law school, but Craig says it’s been no secret. Shep wonders if Craig has a secret family somewhere, since he never seems to tell the truth, and they discuss him mailing the last test out. Craig wonders why Shep is obsessed with this, and Shep says he doesn’t think Craig wants to be a lawyer. Craig calls Shep a loser. In his interview, he says Shep is 36, and still going out every night. He wonders why he has to prove himself to his friends. Craig suggests they drop it. I’m with Craig on this. He’s 27, and if he wants to try different things, and as long as he’s not sitting around on his ass, who cares? He’s also a very nice and diplomatic guy. And it’s not like he’s asking to borrow money either.

Landon (ew!) works with her interns on her website. She says it’s finally starting to come together. She was humiliated after last year’s meeting with the internet dude. We flash back to him telling her all she had was a handful of papers. She needed to figure out how to take her idea to the technology world “which is so new to her.” I’m not even sure what to say about that. She wants to prove herself to her family. We flash back to her father telling her that she can’t live off of her dreams. She gets all teary, and says she’s putting herself out there. She doesn’t think she’ll get another chance, and if this doesn’t work, she’ll have to work for her dad in real estate. This woman is so ridiculous.

Cameran meets with Chelsea, and asks if she’s attending “Landon’s thing.” By the rest of the conversation, I assume Landon is having some kind of launch party. Cameran thinks Chelsea might be the one to change Shep into a one-woman man. She says that Chelsea is the female version of Shep, except she’s not a whore. Alrighty then.

Austen, Whitney and Shep go out for some food. Whitney welcomes Austen to the group. They talk about the pool party, and Shep shows interest in Chelsea. He says he, Chelsea and Cameran are going out in a couple of days, and he’s going to see if they really click. Whitney talks about Landon having a showing for her website, and that they’re supposed to critique it. They probably already know that anything less than a compliment will make her cry. Shep tells them about how Landon met with a group of internet developers, and she acted like a jerk. They were angry and appalled. In his interview, Shep says Landon wants to be the hipster queen of Charleston.

Naomie gets home, and Craig tells her about Landon’s test launch. Naomie is working on her masters, and says they’re on totally different schedules. She wonders what Craig actually does, and we see him giving cat Gizmo a ride in the wheelbarrow. Craig tells her about Shep’s ambush, saying it’s not like Shep has any kind of career path. Naomie says that their circumstances are different. In her interview, she says in her perfect world, Craig would pass the bar, they’d both get great jobs, make loads of money, and travel the world, but it takes work, and she’s not his babysitter. Uh-oh. It’s never good to look at a boyfriend like a fixer-upper. Craig says that Shep brought some of the others into it, and he doesn’t want to have to prove himself to anyone. He thinks it’s just going to be group settings for a while.

Landon is proud of herself. She wants to show her friends that she has a real job. Omg, she can’t even talk on the phone without saying “um” a thousand times. Everyone gets ready for the party. Thomas compliments his reflection in French. He thinks Landon is misread, and that she can really follow through. Enjoy being alone in that opinion.

The party is at a bar. Good move getting them drunk before they look at the website. Landon greets her friends. Drew is wearing a tuxedo, and shows off his cufflinks. Cameran arrives, and looks like she didn’t comb her hair for the occasion, so I’m confused about the dress code. Whitney brings a girl named Daisy, who looks like she’s dressed from a 1920s fashion catalog. Whoa. She’s very animated too.

Cameran tells Craig that she’s mad at him for telling Shep that they’re not real friends. He tells her what Shep said about them keeping him out of the loop. Craig says that Shep claimed that everyone is mad at him for not taking the bar, and that’s why he’s not in the group chat anymore. Shep told him that they make fun of him, and Cameran says they do make fun of his Instagram, showing us some examples in her interview. Craig says if they don’t want to be friends, fine.

Shep thinks he looks like a Creamsicle. Chelsea says they go well together. Everyone looks at the site. Apparently, Landon doesn’t write the content, so I’m not sure what it is she does do. Shep flirts with Naomie, annoying Craig. Thomas talks about pixilation like he knows what he’s talking about. Chelsea flirts with the other guys, and Cameran tells Shep he needs to lay claim. He’s like, free love, and makes a peace sign. Everyone congratulates Landon. They’re just happy that anything she’s attempted exists at all. Landon says she has a purpose now. Shep face palms in his interview. He takes Landon to the side, and asks her impressions of the developers who she talked to. He tells her that critiquing their software was a bad idea, and how she came off entitled. He tells her that first impressions last a long time. She complains that they talked down to her, and Shep tells her that entrepreneurs have to eat a lot of sh*t when they start out. She says when she’s not bitchy, she gets taken advantage of, and when she is, she’s a bitch. Shep tells her just say she’ll take it under advisement, and kill them with kindness. In her interview, she says that Shep has never had a job and rained on her parade. She tells one of her friends that Shep called her a bitch. Now she wants to go home. Don’t forget to take your dolls and jacks with you.

Chelsea meets Craig at his bar. In his interview, he says her being friends with Cameran changes the stakes of the game, but anything can happen. Cameran joins them, feeling like a third wheel. She points out the sparkle in Shep’s eye and he says it’s because he’s not hung over. The liquor comes, and he tells them that there are kids who aren’t drunk in China, so drink up.

They discuss Landon’s website. Shep talks about an app he’s investing in, but it’s not Landon’s. He tells them what the web guys had to say about Landon, and how she didn’t take it well when he told her. Cameran thinks she should give Shep and Chelsea some privacy, and Shep says what happens with Chelsea, stays with Chelsea.

Next time, Kathryn tries to get a modeling job, Chelsea and Shep spend the night together, and Naomie suggests Craig not be so last minute with everything.

Vanderpump Rules – The Reunion Part Two

Andy asks Lisa why she had such mixed emotions about firing James, when it didn’t take much to fire Kristen. Lisa says she did Kristen a favor when she fired her, but James had problems. She says he didn’t seem in control, but when she saw the footage, realized how provocative he’d been. Jax says he’s like a wind-up doll – give him alcohol and he goes. We flash back to some of that. James says he’s got triggers, man, he’s got triggers. It’s bizarre how these kids talk like beatniks and hippies from another time. Ariana says he and Jax are a lot alike. Andy asks Lisa why she told James to stay away from alcohol, like that’s not obvious. She says that when he drinks, he turns into a monster, and he’s young enough to get a grip.

Time to talk about Montauk. Andy is amused that the group had to google what a clambake was. Kristen informs us that the urban dictionary has a different definition involving weed. Andy asks about Scheana’s restrictive diet, and all the girls talk at once. Scheana feels that she gets picked on for being stringent with herself. Andy finally has to tell them to shut up.

Ariana’s birthday is discussed. Andy brings up how Jax was just out of surgery, and asks if he followed doctor’s orders during the NASCAR weekend. That would be a no regarding alcohol. They talk about how nasty it was, living in the RV together. Andy asks about Lala seeming to accept the groups’ olive branch, and then ghosting them at the last minute. Lala claims she was in panic attack mode, especially since Jax made her feel like she wasn’t wanted beforehand. She didn’t want to be cooped up in an RV with that. Tom says he made it clear that wouldn’t happen, and that it’s more like she didn’t feel like going. She says she wishes it was that simple, but he doesn’t believe her. He asks if her boyfriend was in town, and she says he lives in LA. Tom says that a friend outed her about being at the Beverly Hills Hotel that weekend.

Andy basically asks where Lala’s money comes from. She says her family has money, and her mother pays most of her bills. The Range Rover is brought up, because we can never, ever forget about that, and there’s a bunch of nonsense about the car. Andy asks if she was dating a married man.

Lala says no, and that no one will ever get the answer they’re looking for. He asks if she’s still dating the same person, and she won’t answer. Lisa says she deliberately creates intrigue. Stassi says if she wants respect, she has to give the same. Tom says that Stassi did the same thing in season three, but Stassi says that was Patrick’s choice. She says they put their lives out there, and Lala doesn’t have the right to lie. Lala says that Stassi knows nothing about her situation, and it’s nobody’s business. She tells Stassi to stop being a mean girl and gets nasty. Tom says he would love not to have his personal life on the show, or how about Tom and Katie? He tells Lala that it’s not fair. Stassi’s situation isn’t really comparable here. We knew about Patrick, he just didn’t want to be on the show. There are plenty of SOs we don’t see on reality shows.

Andy asks why Kristen thought James was the key to taking Lala down, and it’s universally agreed that James is easily manipulated. Andy asks why he agreed to meet with them, and he says they sucked him in with their lies. The girls are insistent that they weren’t lying; that this is what they heard. Andy asks about the NDA (non-disclosure agreement) from Lala. Lala explains why she would do something like that. Brittany calls it an NBA, and says she doesn’t even know what it is, so Andy has to explain. Lala says she had a bad experience, and wants to control what people post online about her. Tom suggests she not be around people she can’t trust.

They get off track, and Andy tries to corral the group. He asks Lala if the real reason was that her boyfriend didn’t want the relationship disclosed. She says she has NDAs to protect her life off of the show. Andy is like no offense, but why are you so special? He talks about her withdrawing, and she says she was becoming an unhealthy individual. She was liquored up 24/7 and not in a good head space. He asks why Lisa tried to convince her to stay. Lisa says running back to mommy is no way to grow up, and Lala is stronger than she thinks.

Andy asks if it’s really good-by for Lala with the group, and everyone goes, nah. Lala apologizes to everybody for being mean. Schwartz says she’s awesome, considering. Lala says when someone comes into a situation where everyone has their dukes up already, defensiveness is to be expected. We say good-by to Lala – for now.

Next up are Tom and Ariana. Tom’s animosity about Ariana’s cocktail book is discussed. Ariana felt he shouldn’t just jump in after she put in the initial footwork, but the end result was they’re both doing the book. Andy asks why Ariana doesn’t want Tom to put a ring on it. She says she just doesn’t see the point, and everyone pushing it is getting irritating. Andy mentions that Brittany has been planning her wedding for her entire life, and Jax suggests Denny’s as a venue. Stassi says that her family marries and divorces for sport.

We cover the comedy night where Jax’s d*ck pic was revealed, and thankfully, which Brittany’s mother did not attend. I could swear this was the prior season. Jax says he only cared because of Brittany, who says they promised nothing like that would happen again. Lisa thought it was tacky, thoughtless, and mean. Andy asks why Brittany brought her mother to the roast, and Lisa says she was horrified. We flash back to Lisa cautioning Brittany’s mother about Jax. Lisa says if Brittany was her daughter, she wouldn’t be too happy. Andy brings up Brittany’s mother being most upset by the thought of Jax kissing a guy, which I think is weird too. Jax says he probably would have been more concerned about the cheating and the drugs. Tom thought it was inappropriate, but Jax says that it’s to be expected from a mom. Brittany talks about her mother getting a huge amount of flack on social media, and says she isn’t homophobic in any way. Andy says as a gay guy, he totally understood. Jax says she lives in a different, very conservative world.

We go back in time to Jax’s visit to Kentucky. A lot of it involves animals and four-wheelers. And Jax being grilled about marrying Brittany. I don’t remember this at all. Did they even show any of this?

Stassi’s younger brother Nicolai is introduced. The voice of reason. Stassi calls him brave for being on the show, and I agree. Andy asks what he thought about Stassi and Jax as a couple. He says it was good at first, but went wrong. We flash back to a conversation between him and Jax. Patrick is discussed. Tom asks Stassi if he knocked the show and Andy asks if that’s part of the reason she left. She says he wasn’t too happy about it, and she did partly leave for that reason, but he seemed supportive once she left. Andy asks if Nicolai is sad about the Patrick break-up, and Nicolai drops pearls of wisdom. Stassi says she doesn’t take him seriously until she sees it on TV. We flash back to him telling her that life is tough, especially in your 20s. Andy asks how he’s so wise, and he says that he just absorbs it. We also learn that Sex in the City is one of his favorite shows. Andy asks what the weirdest thing about Stassi is. Nicolai tells us about her reaction during a cringeworthy moment. He says he’s proud about her sticking up for herself and that she really does care about other people. I think she does. For goodness’ sake, she cried when she heard Schwartz had cheated on Katie.

Andy asks for advice for everyone. Schwartz is first. Nicolai thinks Schwartz shouldn’t call girls bitches. Schwartz says he’s working on that, and Nicolai tells him to work harder. He suggests Katie lower it down on the drinking, and she’ll get more friends. He tells Jax that he’s going to die alone and drunk if he doesn’t change his ways. Out of the mouths of babes. He tells Ariana to think about other people more. Scheana is told that there’s no picking a side. She says she doesn’t, but actually, in not picking a side, you’re picking a side. Think about it. Nicolai says there’s no problem with Brittany, and tells Lisa to keep up the great business work. She thinks maybe she should hire him as her personal advisor. He also says nothing is wrong on Andy’s end.

The events up to Katie’s wedding are discussed. Scheana talks about feeling excluded. Kristen accuses her of not contributing, but she insists she did. We move on to Lisa’s shower gift of a blow-up doll named Katie, and Katie gushes over Pandora’s spa day gift. Andy brings up the altercation between Katie and Scheana, and we flash back to the disastrous bridesmaids’ lunch. Katie thinks Scheana deflects, but Scheana says that Katie is mean when she drinks. She says there’s a difference between a drinking problem and being an alcoholic. She tells Katie that everyone has had a problem with Katie’s drinking at one time or another. We flash back to all that. She insists that she’s never called Katie an alcoholic. Katie says she doesn’t have a problem either. <sigh>

Andy asks Stassi how it felt to have Ariana tell her that she didn’t give a flying. Stassi says Ariana has consistently hurt her feelings. Ariana says that Stassi is manipulating, and she didn’t believe that her feelings were really hurt. The girls all protest, and Ariana says whenever she answers a question honestly, she’s the a-hole. Katie says she’s holding Stassi accountable for things she did in the past and she doesn’t know who Stassi is today. Schwartz says that was the 2012 Stassi. Ariana says there’s no difference, and brings up Stassi saying that she’s wanted to crack her. Stassi says it wasn’t meant to be mean, and the girls all say she was just joking. Ariana says maybe she doesn’t want to be friends with people who joke like that. She thought it was another opportunity for Stassi to be the victim. She always wants people to be apologizing. Stassi says no matter what, they won’t like her.

Next time, The Reunion Part Three, Shay joins the group, the Vegas trip is discussed, and so is Katie’s drinking.

🚑 Better Call Saul returned tonight. I watched most of the first season, and it was much better (and funnier) than I expected it to be. So much good TV, so little time.

🐮 On Sweet Home Oklahoma, Lee’s new neighbor cut down a tree on her property immediately upon moving in, claiming that he “knocked on her door.” I’m in awe of her self-control in not totally going off on the neighbor. Angie aka Pumps suggested that she throw some baseballs through the neighbor’s window, and then say she knocked on the door. Instead, Lee plants some shrubs in the shape of a middle finger. I like it. Jennifer also planned a party for her French bulldog, Tubbers. She and her 9-year-old son then conspired to tell Pumps that it’s a costume party – when it’s not – because she’s given Jennifer so much grief over calling Tubbers a service dog. They were both dying laughing while setting it up, and it almost made me wish I had a kid. Almost. I love these people. They’re definitely a group I could hang out with.

👂 I gotta mention this. I was raised by a sailor, so I’m fine with cursing, but it’s not something I think should be taught to kids. Why am I saying this? I’ve been watching TV a long time – it was my babysitter growing up – and I have never heard so much cursing. I lost count of how many times I heard sh*t, especially during The Walking Dead, but now the f-word is getting pretty close to being openly said. It’s still bleeped, but just barely, and all you need to hear are the first and last letter to have your mental ear fill in the rest. And I’m not talking a cable station like HBO. Bravo, I’m talkin’ to you.

April 4, 2017 – Jax is Back, Alex Loses Custody, the Party Continues in Beverly Hills & Some Observations

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Carly finds Jax in her living room.

Tracy and Laura catch a couple of the monks trying to sneak out with the painting. Tracy says the painting is hers, but Laura says the painting is her. She thinks Tracy’s father must have bought it because it reminded him of her. Tracy says the monks were lying to them.

Hayden has a nightmare about Finn’s detox. When she wakes up, he’s coming out of the shower. He says last night was like an out-of-body experience. He can’t thank her enough for standing by him. She brushes him off, and he asks what’s the matter.

Andre asks Elizabeth how Jake feels about seeing a psychologist. She says he doesn’t hate it, but he’s not overly enthusiastic. She’s concerned about him shutting down if pressed about the island.

Jake finds Franco. He wonders when Franco is coming back, so they can finish their timelines.

Sam and Jason look at the footage from the gas station. Sam gets an alert about Julian’s credit card being used because she’s next of kin. She wonders if Julian is actually alive. I’m not positive about this, but I think if you’ve been declared dead, the credit card company will cancel your account. How is Sam getting alerts because she’s next of kin?

Amy 2.0 is at Kelly’s, speaking to someone on the phone about an outfit she’s putting together. Dillon interrupts her and asks if she’s that Amy.

Franco tells Jakes he has to work, but Jake can finish on his own. Jake says it’s not the same, and complains about having to see Andre. He asks if Franco can stick around. Franco says he wishes he could, but he can’t today. Jake is obviously disappointed.

Jason says Julian could be charged as an accessory, so if he was alive, he’d leave town. Sam says he’s probably right. Jason leaves for whatever he does, and Sam looks at the surveillance picture of a hooded guy.

Carly tells Jax that it’s been a rough few weeks but seeing him makes it better. Jax says he heard they caught Morgan’s killer, and Carly brings him up to speed. She says it’s a resolution, but now there’s no distraction. She tells him that he didn’t have to come all this way to check on her, and he tells her about Lady Jane dying, and that he wanted to tell Josslyn in person. She asks if he’s okay, and he says he doesn’t think it’s sunk in yet. Carly wants to go to Josslyn, but Jax says he thinks she wants privacy right now; they can both check on her later. Carly says when they were married, she felt more like a daughter to Lady Jane than an in-law. Jax says she’d always hoped they’d try again.

Tracy says the monks weren’t honest about the painting. She says why should she believe they don’t speak English, and she wants answers now. Another monk pops out and says she’ll receive them. Tracy asks if he’s in charge, and tells him that she was lied to about the painting. Laura asks if he knew J.L. Holt. He tells them about a man asking for asylum. He offered to compensate them, giving them artwork. The only painting he refused to part with was this one, because it reminded him of his daughter Tracy. He says the resemblance is amazing. She tells him they were estranged, and he gives her a letter that might explain things.

Finn wonders why Hayden is backing off, but there’s a knock at the door. It’s Curtis. He tells Finn he looks better, but it’s going to be tempting to get a quick fix to ease the pain to come. He tells Finn to stay strong and stay hydrated. He’s brought lunch, but Hayden says she has to go to work. Finn tells her that he couldn’t have done it without her. He moves in for a kiss, but she gives him a peck and leaves.

Andre tells Jason and Sam that they all have to be on the same page. Jake is his patient, not them, and it’s up to Jake what he wants to tell them about the sessions. He asks about their Helena concern. Elizabeth tells him about the timeline, and his time with Helena being blank, and then the scarecrow showing up later. Jason says they don’t know if it’s a memory or symbolic. Andre says not a detective, and it’s going to take time and patience.

Nathan goes to Sam and Jason’s place on official business. He tells Sam that Julian’s credit card was used to purchase a one-way bus ticket to Los Angeles. He asks if Julian ever talked to her about a plan to skip town.

Dillon says it’s Lord of the Rings Amy. He says he’s thought about her over the years, and talks about a Rings Q & A session that he went to. He says when he was going to ask a question, he thought of her, his high school friend, the only one who liked the movies as much as he did. She says she’s thought about him too. They’re planning a reunion, and Amy wants to get started brainstorming. Kiki walks in, and Dillon introduces them.

Jake wants to know why he can’t talk to Franco instead. Elizabeth says they don’t think it’s the best idea right now.  Jason tells him part of growing up is doing the right thing, even if it’s hard. Jake reluctantly goes in to his appointment.

Sam says if Julian had a master plan, he wouldn’t have told her. Nathan wonders about Lucas, but Sam says that’s’ a no. Nathan says whoever bought the ticket either found or stole Julian’s card. He wants to talk to Alexis, but Sam says she doesn’t know anything. Nathan says she might know something she doesn’t realize. AS soon as he’s gone, Sam picks up the phone.

Jax says sorry to hear about Carly and Sonny. He says Josslyn seemed to think they’re divorcing, and asks what happened. Carly says that Sonny’s grief drove him to sleep with another woman, and he lied to her for months. Jax says he can’t see her reaching the breaking point over a one-night stand. She saysit’s  not that he cheated, but who he cheated with.

The monk tells Tracy that her father wasn’t sure he’d see her again when he wrote the letter. Tracy opens it. Edward says he has many regrets about their relationship and how it turned out. He hopes this will rectify things. He says he was angry when made the changes to his will, and intended to add her back in, but there wasn’t enough time before he had to flee. He found the painting, and it reminded him of her strength, character, and heart. He tells her that if he doesn’t make it home, this gift is proof that in his heart, she’ll always be his little girl. This is his inheritance to her, and hopefully will prove that he loves and forgives her. Now she has to forgive herself. He’s sure she’ll know where best to put the painting.

Kiki asks if Amy and Dillon are film geeks, but Dillon says aficionados. Kiki doesn’t see the big deal about it, and Dillon says her loss. Amy says she has to get going, and Dillon says to text him. He says he’s glad they found each other again, and she says her too. Outside she gets all teary. She gets a call, and says it was like something from a movie until his beautiful girlfriend walked in. She thinks Kiki is wrong for Dillon, since she doesn’t even like Game of Thrones. Seriously. What’s wrong with her?

Dillon tells Kiki he thought he was co-chair  for the reunion with someone he’d never met, but he’s glad it’s Amy. Kiki talks about her volunteer work, saying she picked her boss’s brain, but she still has questions. She says she just signed up for a training course to be a nurse’s aid, and they’ll see where it goes from there. They start to kiss, but Franco interrupts.

Tracy tells Laura that she didn’t think her father forgave or trusted her. Laura says nothing would have stopped him from loving her, and he was proud of her. Tracy wants to take the painting home, but the monk says he can’t let her do that.

Sam tells Alexis that she’s booked a hotel overnight for her, so she can get away for a minute. When she hangs up, she says, sorry, Nathan isn’t questioning Alexis today.

At the hospital, Elizabeth asks Hayden how Finn is. Hayden says fine, but Elizabeth says she doesn’t sound like it. Hayden says she doesn’t want to talk, but Elizabeth says she’s the only one who knows what Hayden is going through.

Finn thanks Curtis, who says to thank Hayden, who got him involved. He says she clearly thinks a lot of him. Finn says she wouldn’t even make eye-contact this morning, and it seemed like something scared her off. Curtis asks if he remembers anything, and Finn asks what he did.

Hayden shows Elizabeth the bruises on her arm from where Finn grabbed her. Elizabeth asks if she thinks it could happen again, but Hayden says it was totally the coming down. She tells Elizabeth that bruises heal, but she’s concerned that Finn was able to zero in on her insecurities. Elizabeth says she can’t take it personally, and that she went through that with Lucky. Hayden asks how they bounced back, and Elizabeth says they didn’t. Instead, Lucky bounced all the way to Europe. She tells Hayden that Finn’s journey is far from over, but she has one of her own and it’s okay to make herself a priority.

Kiki asks Franco if it can wait. He says no. He’s having feelings, and needs to deal with them now. He feels like he can help Jake, and doesn’t want to be the reason that Jake turns out like Franco.

Andre asks if Jake likes action figures, and brings out a box of them. Jake takes out the scarecrow and wicked witch from The Wizard of Oz. Andre tells him to tell a story. Jake says in his story, the scarecrow and witch are friends.

Hayden comes back to Finn’s room. Curtis has left, and Finn jokes that in the last five minutes he hasn’t used. Hayden says they have to talk, and Finn says Curtis filled him in. He says he’s sorry he was physical with her. She says he scared her, not just physically, but emotionally. He said some harsh things that he doesn’t remember, but she says the thoughts must be in his head. She says he has a long road ahead, but she can’t walk it with him.

Tracy says the monastery has no claim to painting. The monk says her father never returned. The monastery is having a difficult time; there are too many people and too little money. They have a private buyer for the painting who’s willing to give them $20 million. It’s enough to fund the abbey and their charitable works for many years. Laura says it’s a good deed and an inspiration. Tracy says, hell no.

Carly tells Jax the Nelle story. She says she could forgive Sonny if he’d told her the truth. Jax wonders why Nelle would set Sonny up, and Carly says that Frank Benson was Nelle’s father. Jax looks disturbed, and we already know where this is going. Carly tells him that Sonny played her right into Nelle’s revenge. Jax says he’s sorry, and it’s all his fault.

Laura reminds Tracy that she’s in a monastery. The monk says he understands that she has emotional attachments to the painting. Tracy says she could no more give up the painting than a piece of her heart.

Hayden tells Finn about what he said to her. He says it was the drugs talking, but she says it was the truth. She knows what the town thinks about her, and convinced herself that he was the exception. She gives him a list of rehabs. He says he doesn’t want help from others, just her. She says he needs help from someone he trusts, and made it clear that it’s not her, and walks out.

Jake asks to use Elizabeth’s phone while she and Jason talk to Andre. Andre tells them that Jake is a private kid, and it’s going to take a while. He says Jake is sensing tension between them and knows that his time on the island is at the root of it. If they want him to open up, they need to make peace and make sure they’re ready for the truth.

Franco thinks Jake has darkness buried inside. Kiki says he has to respect that Jake isn’t his son and it’s not his call. Franco’s phone rings. It’s Jake, who tells him it was weird, and he wants to finish timelines. Franco says his mom or dad should help him finish it.

Curtis drops by to see Sam. She tells him about the credit card, and he asks if she thinks it’s Julian. She says if there’s even a remote possibility that he’s alive, Alexis will hang on to it. They need to find out who used the card.

Carly says nothing is Jax’s fault. He tells her he made the deal for the kidney.

Tomorrow, Anna bugs Valentin again, Carly asks why Jax didn’t tell her, Sonny tells Nelle to be more careful, and Lulu tells Dante she made a new friend.

If Loving You is Wrong

Travis tells Kelly to turn the car off, and she tells him to get out. He grabs her by the hair, and tells her to turn it off. She does. Wow. This guy’s personality sure has changed. He grabs Kelly, pulling her into the back seat. She asks him why he’s doing this. He says he tried going on with his life, but she wouldn’t let him. She says she didn’t know he was like this. Us neither. He asks why she was at the police station, and she keeps telling him to get out. He tries to put his hand up her skirt, and she whacks him a good one.

Travis says he can make her feel good. Then he tells her she’s sick, and gets out of the car. She locks the doors, and gets back in the front. She sees him watching as she pulls away.

Randal visits his mother at the hospital. Louise says she’s been worried sick about him. He tells her he’s sorry, and she says it’s all right. Louise asks if they hurt him, and he says he’s fine. She asks how he got away, and he tells her the FBI came. Louise says that Marcie called them; she’s worried about him. This confuses Randal, but that’s probably not too hard. Louise says they’ve both made mistakes and they have to forgive each other. Randal says he can’t forgive her. When he looks at her, all he sees is her and Brad in the shed. Louise says he did the same thing with Alex, and she’s the one who sent those people to the house. He says they’re all dead now, and she says, thank God it’s over. Randal says it’s not, as long as she’s hurt. She says she’s fine and that the both of them did this. She’s not standing for it; it’s time for him to let it go. Those words aren’t in Randal’s vocabulary, and he says it’s just starting. He tells her that he’ll see her after the hearing. Louise can’t believe he’s still after the baby. He says he’ll be back with her grandson, and she says after all this, it’s not enough. She supposes she’ll be going to a funeral. She tells him she loves him, and he leaves.

Doctor Ross introduces herself to Marcie, and confirms her pregnancy. She’s twelve and a half weeks along. Dr. Ross asks if her husband is excited, but Marcie says she can’t believe it. She’d had fibroids and the doctor said it was less than 10% of a chance. Marcie is concerned that she’d been drinking, but the doctor says so far, everything seems normal. She says that Marcie doesn’t seem happy, and Marcie says she’s got a lot going on. She says Marcie should be happy after all the time and effort she’s put into it.

Back at the apartment, Marcie tells Brad to stop with the cold shoulder. He says that he needs time to process everything. She says she’s sorry for going to the police, but he says it’s not that. He wants her to stop antagonizing Alex; she’s been through too much. He saw her screaming for her child and saw her parents get killed in front of her. He asks how much more she has to suffer. Marcie can’t believe he’s coming to Alex’s defense, and he says she doesn’t know him. She wonders how long he’s going to punish her for making a mistake, and he says that’s not what he’s doing. Marcie says he still loves Alex, and Brad says she still loves Randal, so stop giving him a hard time about loving Alex. Marcie says that she told him to go back to her, and not to punish her for falling in love with him. Oh, no, just no. She says she didn’t mean to. She just wanted the pain to go away and for Alex and Randal to pay. She says she knows he doesn’t feel the same way, but he says he does. He says she’s made it clear she doesn’t want him though. She says she didn’t, but when she’s with him, she’s happy, and he makes her feel alive and cared for. He makes her feel strong and safe. He says that’s not love, but she insists it is. She asks what they do now, but Brad doesn’t know. I’m confused. Do they both love two people or was that first part just a cover-up for their real feelings?

Natalie sits by Joey’s bedside. The doctor says he’s looking much better, but Joey says he doesn’t feel better. He wants to know about Faun. The doctor says she left already and she’s fine; she was only grazed. He says he’ll be back later.

Lushion joins them. He asks how Joey is doing, and Joey says better, now that he found out Faun is okay. Natalie says she’s going home, and she’ll see them later. Lushion says he’ll let Joey res,t and leaves with Natalie.

Natalie tells Lushion she’s relieved and tired. She says they have to get their move on, since the apartment has been rented. Lushion realizes that she went off on the landlord, and she says they never fixed anything, so she told them to stick the apartment.

Officer Rick asks Esperanza what she knows about Kelly. She asks if he’s interested in her, and he says no, and points out Travis sitting on a bench in the station. He says that Travis just made out a complaint that Kelly is harassing him. Esperanza says he’s lying, and that Kelly isn’t a psychopath. He says okay, but she doesn’t like the tone of his okay, and says this is crazy.

Esperanza calls Kelly, and leaves a message to call her back. Rick tells Lushion about finding a dead body – Ramsey – and that he was stabbed to death. Lushion asks if there are any leads. Rick says no, but they think it’s a crime of passion. Rick tells him that he’ll have the keys later, and Lushion asks him not to say anything to Natalie. Rick asks if Kelly is the type to harass a man, and Lushion says no.

Esperanza calls Kelly, but Kelly says she can’t talk. Essie tells her that Travis is filing a restraining order. Kelly says she still has to file hers, and Essie tells her do it quickly or it will look like a copycat thing. She asks Kelly what’s wrong, and Kelly says nothing. She tells Essie she’s sitting outside Justice’s school and his science project is ruined. It’s been squashed into oblivion by Travis. She tells Essie she’s embarrassed. Lushion calls Kelly, and she says she’ll call Essie back.

Lushion asks Kelly if Travis is still bothering her. Kelly asks why. What I want to know is why Kelly isn’t letting anyone know what’s going on. Lushion says he needs a favor, and tells her he’s sorry about Ramsey. He asks her to keep the murder from Natalie. He says she won’t move in if she finds out, and they’ve already put the money down. I guess Natalie never reads the paper or listens to the news. Kelly says she won’t say anything. Lushion thanks her, and says he’ll be her next door neighbor soon. They hang up, and Kelly cries in her car. She drives away.

Steven calls Lushion into his office. Eddie is already there. Steven says he just finished Eddie’s report, and needs a witness. Lushion says he didn’t hear what Eddie said. Eddie goes over how they saw Andrew’s car, but no Andrew. Lushion starts to say something, but Steven says he has this. He asks Eddie why the window was shot out, and Eddie says he doesn’t know and makes some nasty remarks. Lushion says he doesn’t get it, and Eddie calls him Mr. FBI. Lushion tells him to quit trying to deflect. Steven wants Lushion to sign it, but he says get someone else. Steven tells him he’s the subordinate, and Lushion says he doesn’t care. He says this idiot – pointing at Eddie – did something to Andrew. Eddie threatens to bring hell back to his doorstep, and when he says Natalie’s name, Lushion gets crazy. Steven is like, whoa, and Lushion says he’s not signing. Steven tells Lushion to go.

Steven tells Eddie that he’s hotheaded and unreliable. When something goes wrong, he wants to kill everybody, and it doesn’t work that way. He tells Eddie to forget about Lushion being FBI. He says he’s over doing what they’ve been doing, and he wants something big – Escada. Eddie says can’t touch him, but Steven says that was his old man. Julius Junior is a hothead like Eddie, and he’s going to slip up. Eddie says this is too big of a decision for Steven to make, and he wants nothing to do with Escada. Steven asks if Eddie is cool with Julius fooling around with Esperanza. Eddie waits a beat, but says he’s cool. Steven wants to set something up. If Julius doesn’t cut them in, they’ll take him down. Eddie asks if he’s lost his mind. Steven says he wants a shipment, something big. Eddie works the streets, and somebody knows something. If they make this move, Lushion is either fired, transferred, or shot. Eddie says to let him pull the trigger, and Steven says him first. Eddie goes back out to the main office.

Lushion and Eddie have a stare down, but eventually get back to pretending to work.

At the hearing, Alex hasn’t shown up yet. She runs in the door, and the judge tells her to sit. He asks if she has counsel, but she says she can’t afford an attorney. He says the father claims that the child is in danger in her home. Alex says he isn’t, and Randal says he was kidnapped. The judge tells him he’ll get his turn. Alex says he was, and the judge is like, by your parents? She says yes, and says she was outside, and they broke in and took him. He asks what’s to stop them from doing it again, and she says they’re dead. The judge is surprised that the report is less than 24-hours old, and Alex tells him they were killed by the FBI. He mentions that her father was a racist, and she says that’s not her. Well, you’d think this would be a given, since obviously she had an affair with Randal. The judge reads out loud about Alex’s mother dropping the baby into a lake infested with alligators. He becomes more astounded as he reads, which is making me laugh. He says when he read it, he thought it must be an exaggeration, and Randal says it happened. The judge wonders how he can allow the baby to go home with his mother, and Alex says he’s her son. The Judge says that’s no guarantee of safety. Alex insists that she won’t let any harm come to him. The judge continues about how Brad threatened to kill Randal and that he can’t allow a child to be with Alex’s husband. She says they’re separated, and Randal says that Brad was at the house earlier.

Alex begs for the judge to listen. She says she’d never allow harm to come to her son. He says that he understands, but does she? She says her husband saved the baby. The judge says that proves they’re still in contact, and rules in Randal’s favor. Alex says he’s not the biological father.

Next time, Kelly’s baby daddy’s mother pays a visit, Randal isn’t letting anything go, and Natalie tells Kelly to pull the trigger.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Did they run out of material? We’re seeing a retrospective of the season. I concentrate on the earrings I haven’t noticed before. We begin where we ended last week, with Dorit saying that LisaR is unpredictable, and she doesn’t know what Lisa is capable of.

Meanwhile, back at LisaV’s Diamonds and Rosé Party, Dorit grills LisaV and PK as to whether she’s ever said that LisaR has a drug problem. In her interview, LisaV wonders which LisaR we’re getting tonight. Silly chit-chat happens. LisaR makes snarky comments about LisaV in her interview, which makes me not like her.

On the other hand, Eileen says she’s softening toward LisaV, and realizing she has feelings and a heart. This isn’t exactly endearing, but an improvement. Dorit has some kind of gold leaf in her hair, and LisaR says that it looks like a gold goose took a crap on Dorit’s head. I’m forced to laugh and agree, even though I don’t want to. Of course everyone looks fabulous, and so does the food, and the décor, and everything. Kevin Lee is rocking a tapestry rose patterned suit, reminding me of the purple paisley suit my friend Tommy wore to my wedding. Camille is here! Kim shows up too, and she looks the best I’ve seen in quite a while. She gushes over being a grandma, and of course, has pictures.

LisaR says Eden didn’t back her up on the Hong Kong trip, which is fine, but she doesn’t trust her. She tells Eden she’s “confused,” and wonders why Eden didn’t step in and say that Lisa doesn’t have a drug problem. Eden says she kind of shut down. Eileen says not saying something makes things worse. Quick, let me write that down. In her interview, Eden says that LisaR has awkward, evil energy. That’s one way to put it. I’d probably just say she’s an a-hole.

Erika is wearing a pink wig and a black cat suit, adorned with faux diamonds. They sit down to dinner, and LisaV toasts to everyone, thanking them for coming. They’re serenaded by some guy with a guitar. Aww! The ponies have faux diamonds and pink bows in their manes. For all I know, they might be real diamonds.

Dorit tells Kim about LisaR’s behavior at the Hong Kong dinner. She talks about Lisa asking if she trusts her husband, and suggests that Lisa is projecting. Kim says that Lisa is erratic and mean; exhibiting vicious behavior and then regret. In her interview, Kim says Lisa spins things and turns them around so she’s the victim.

The ladies discuss having babies over dessert. LisaV comes by with some fancy caviar things on a long, thin tray. The ladies visit with the ponies, who also have glitter on their hooves. Everyone is dazzled. Erika gets on the swing. LisaV asks if she has underwear on. <sigh>

Everyone mingles outside as the guitarist plays. Kim talks to LisaV about the Hong Kong dinner, and asks where it ends with LisaR. Kim says it isn’t her problem, but she’s been there. Well, it wasn’t that long ago. We spy LisaR, and LisaV suggests Kim talk to her. Kyle wants to know where the escape route is. LisaR is reluctant to approach the group.

Erika dares LisaR to mingle with Kim. Lisa tells Eileen that Kim said she’d heard things. She figures that it must have to do with what she said about PK. Eileen calls Kyle over, and tells her to bring Kim.

Eileen tells Kyle that she thought they were done with this. Kyle says it’s about what LisaR said about PK. PK says they’re all lying liars who lie, and Dorit tells LisaV there’s tension in the air. Dorit thinks she needs to join them, and Lisa says she’ll go with her. I love how arguments between two people always turn into a group effort.

LisaR asks Dorit what she needs to say. Dorit says that Lisa was mean-spirited in Hong Kong, and wants to know where it came from. Lisa says Dorit was saying she had a Xanax problem. Eden gets dragged in, and Dorit says she never said that Lisa had a problem. LisaV says that LisaR put it out there. In her interview, Erika says no party is complete without a catfight. Eden says Dorit asked her if LisaR had a problem, and we flash back to their conversation. LisaR says there it is! like she’s just found Excalibur.  Dorit says her extreme accusations weren’t nice. Lisa says those were her observations, and LisaV says she doesn’t think so. Kim says she’s gone after a pretty long list of people. In her interview, LisaR takes no responsibility for anything, and owns nothing. She insists she tells the truth, and tells Dorit she’s all over the place. Dorit say she never had an issue with her. Lisa gets in her face, and Dorit tells her to take a step back; if she can smell Lisa’s breath, she’s too close.

LisaR asks why Dorit didn’t call her and talk to her. Dorit asks why she would, since Lisa acts like a nutter. Lisa says, no, you. Dorit brings up the dinner again. Lisa tells her that what she did to Erika was disgusting. Dorit says she made every attempt to right things. Erika says she called her cold, and Dorit says she is. Erika says if the shoe was on the other foot, would she warm up to the other person? Dorit says she would, and Erika says tha’s not a normal response. Dorit says Erika has been called cold by other people, and LisaV says that Dorit apologized. Erika claims she didn’t, and we flash back to when she did. Erika says she’s grateful, but she doesn’t remember. Dorit “reminds” her of insisting she make PK apologize as well. Erika says she’s done nothing, but Dorit talks sh*t about her. Dorit says Erika doesn’t know who she is.

PK joins the group. He’s the Peter of Beverly Hills. Erika asks if he’d ever said she tried to seduce him. He says no, and says he’s not appreciating watching his wife get ganged up on. He calls Erika inherently cold. He says that Dorit made a joke, and then she apologized, so at what point is it over? Erika says Dorit always has ugly things to say, when she’s been nothing but nice. PK says she’s delusional, and Erika says they haven’t been nice to her. They get stupid, and go back and forth because he calls her honey. Everyone stands around and watches.

Eileen says that Erika isn’t cold. In her interview, she says she can’t imagine Vincent being so “inherently” rude and classless. PK says he didn’t think Erika flashed him on purpose, and Dorit says neither did she. Kyle asks if he thinks Erika was coming on to him, and he says no. Dorit says the only time it came up, is when Eileen brought it up. PK says he doesn’t get it. Eileen tells everyone to stop, and PK leaves. Erika tells Dorit she wants to be friends and let it go. She says it was embarrassing for her. Dorit says if either one of them thought she was that person, they’d never have invited her anywhere. Erika says the underwear thing hurt her feelings, and Dorit apologizes again.

Under the tent, LisaV says she feels like she can’t come to Dorit’s defense without getting bothered about it. Ken makes an inappropriate joke.

Erika says it’s nice to see Dorit being authentic. She wants to have a genuine connection, but says it will be slow. They both say they’re good.

Eden feels that she and LisaR have gone up and down, but Lisa is never present in the friendship. LisaR says that once Eden talked to LisaV, her guard went up and they were done. Nice of her to let Eden know. Eden says she’s given LisaR her energy and heart, and she doesn’t even know her. For her to say they’re done because of that is the worst, and she’s tired of being used as Lisa’s scapegoat when she’s been there for her. Snotrag Lisa says she didn’t ask Eden to be there for her. Eden is yelling and really upset, and says God forbid that Lisa should be there for her. If Lisa says “wow” one more time, I’m going to scream.

Eden storms off. In her interview, Eden can’t believe that she and LisaR were still talking and even going on vacation together, and Lisa didn’t let her know they were done. LisaV follows Eden. Eileen thinks that Eden felt dismissed by everyone. Erika bids everyone good night. Eden tells LisaV what happened. LisaV says she doesn’t need to be loved by everyone. Erika says she’s protective, but everyone has seen she’s human.

LisaR doesn’t take responsibility for anything, but wishes Eden well. In her interview, Eileen says she shouldn’t assume that when she wants to clear the air, that everyone else does too. Lisa says that her words aren’t always appropriate, but there’s always truth in them. I don’t suppose she’ll ever get that being honest doesn’t mean just saying whatever pops into your head.

This was the finale, but there were no interesting what they’re doing now things. With the exception of Erika coming back to The Young and the Restless, and doing Dancing with the Stars. However, there were some worthy parting words. Ever the optimist, LisaV tells us that love and laughter will supersede all, even with this group. And Kyle thinks that if everyone would take more time to get to know one another before judging, they would realize they have more in common than not.

Amen, sista, but next time is the reunion. All those hearts and flowers are going to fly right out the window.

A Few Observations

🍑 Is it me or are the Atlanta Wives on more than the others?

💋 On Little Women: LA, the Briana/Matt saga goes on, this time with Briana’s best friend Lisa telling the ladies that Matt drunk texted her about a dream he had involving the two of them. Lisa tried to tell Briana, who only got upset that Lisa didn’t tell her sooner. Oh, for the love of all that’s holy, dump that guy already. There were more fabulous earrings, and Terra explained the different types of dwarfism very well. They don’t know about D’Artagnan yet. We also found out that one of Elena’s twins has her type of dwarfism. She’s upset about the ladies choosing the taller brother later in life, but Preston thinks they’ll both wow the girls.

🍸 Southern Charm will be starting a Savannah edition on Monday, May 8th at 10 pm. Do we need this? I already don’t like the people as much as the ones in Charleston, but maybe they just took me by surprise.

🌟 I was thinking about my fascination with reading recipes, looking at pictures of food, and watching cooking shows, and came up with my own quote: Those who can’t do, read about it.

 

April 3, 2017 – Good-by Lady Jane, Hello Southern Charm, Vanderkids Reunite & a Sweet Comment

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

So when is Faison getting back to Port Charles already?

Michael finds Larry in his office. Larry claims that he thought it was Tracy’s office.

Laura and Tracy arrive at the monastery in Turkey.

Jason makes a psyche appointment for Jake. Sam is impressed. She asks if they’re moving forward with their other idea, but Jason says it’s not up to him. Sonny arrives, and makes a cute, dimply smile.

Carly tells Josslyn that she’s been distracted. She says she’s been in her own world, and Josslyn asks if her world includes Sonny. Carly says that Sonny has always loved Josslyn, but Josslyn thinks they should divorce.

Someone watches Alexis from outside Kelly’s. She steps outside and sees Jax.

Laura thinks they should find somewhere to sleep before they lose daylight. Tracy wants to find her painting first. She’s concerned that Larry might be a step ahead of her. Two monks pop out, babbling in Turkish. Laura tells Tracy that it’s Turkish for trouble.

Larry says he was looking for the minibar, but Michael says there isn’t one. Larry asks to be pointed in Tracy’s direction, but Ned interrupts saying, no you don’t.

Jax sits down with Alexis. She wonders if it’s a happy coincidence, and apologizes for how she behaved last time. He asks if she’s in recovery. She says she had a relapse, but she’s on the wagon today. He gives her his condolences about Julian. She says she feels him everywhere, and he asks if she wants to talk about it.

Sonny asks what’s up, and Sam says Jason will explain. She tells him Jason has something personal to ask, and to think hard before he makes a decision. Jason tells him they want him to be Scout’s godfather. Isn’t he already a godfather? Ha-ha! They’re also asking Carly to be her godmother.

Carly tells Josslyn that when you love someone, you can’t just turn off the feelings. Josslyn tells her that she’s worth a hundred Sonnys, and to stop messing around and get a divorce. Now tell us how you really feel.

Alexis tells Jax about Olivia-J forcing Julian’s hand, but she doesn’t think anyone else believes he was sincere. Jax says she loved him, and that’s all that matters. Sam walks in, and Jax tells her congratulations on the new baby. He says he has to be somewhere, and leaves. Sam asks if Carly knows he’s in Port Charles.

Carly tries to change the subject, but Josslyn isn’t having it. She says Carly can at least get started with divorce proceedings. Carly says it’s not that simple, but Josslyn says she’s just pretending it is, so she doesn’t have to do it. Carly says it’s painful and complicated, and she has a life with Sonny. It’s going to affect other people, including Josslyn. She says she’s not getting a divorce yet, and Josslyn asks what if Sonny thinks differently?

Sonny tells Jason that if anything should happen to them, he’ll make sure Scout is taken care of. Jason asks if including Carly is going to make him uncomfortable. Sonny wonders if they’re thinking this could bring them back together.

Tracy asks the monks if they have any food, and Laura asks if she wants to star in her own version of Midnight Express. Laura tells Tracy to let her do the talking. While Laura discusses things with the monks, Tracy looks up, talking to Edward. Laura tells Tracy that they’re not getting kicked out after all.

Larry tells Ned there’s nothing to worry about, and Ned says there is with him. He says he has a good friend in the state department; one wrong move, and Larry is back home. Larry says he has the opportunity of a lifetime, and Ned says he’s not getting anywhere near Tracy. Michael tells them that she’s not in yet. Larry says he’ll wait, and Ned says he will too. Olivia-F, who I didn’t even notice was there, introduces herself, and Ned tells Larry that she’s his fiancé.

Michael congratulates them, and Olivia shows off the ring. Michael says he’ll have his assistant track Tracy down, and Olivia goes with him. Ned tells Larry let’s hear it. Larry doesn’t know whether to toast or eulogize him.

Tracy and Laura are shown to a room. Tracy balks at there being only one bed. The monk says something, and Laura says they’re not to leave the room. Women are only allowed there for worship, and services are over for the day. She adds that she told them they’d give a small donation, and Tracy owes them 2000 lira. Tracy wonders where the painting is, but Laura says they claimed not to know about it. She thinks when things quiet down, they should explore.

Sam tells Alexis that she can talk to her, but Alexis feels that she’s cried on Sam’s shoulder enough. Sam says she saw Jason many times after she lost him. Alexis says she got another phone call and heard the noise again. She wonders if she’s going crazy. She says she can’t shake Julian, and can’t seem to let go. Sam sums up what death on a soap is all about – without a body, she can’t believe he’s gone.

Jason tells Sonny that he and Carly have their support no matter what. There’s a knock at the door. No surprise, it’s Carly.

Josslyn starts to leave the house, and finds Jax on the porch.

Ned wonders how Larry could have a problem with Olivia-F, but he says it’s not the choice of partner, it’s the institution itself. Ned says Edward and Lila worked out, but Larry says they were the exception to the rule. Ned says he’s looking to the future, and isn’t repeating his mistakes. Olivia listens from the hallway. Larry tells him about good intentions paving the road to hell, and says no leopard can change its spots. Ned tells him that he and Olivia are honest with each other. He says she’s an extraordinary woman, and makes him want to be a better man. Larry says it does sound like he’s in love. Ned says he’d hoped Larry would be happy for him. Larry says he let the love of his life slip through his fingers. Ned tells Larry how happy he is, and Larry approves. Olivia smiles.

Laura says it’s not a vacation; it’s an adventure. Tracy says she’s more comfortable in a board room, despite what her father thought. Laura says her father admired her and talked about her all the time. He said she was treacherous, duplicitous, and ruthless, and everything he needed to run ELQ. She could be his greatest adversary, but also his best friend. She was his greatest accomplishment.

Sam understands that Alexis can’t move forward without proof. She’s already started investigating.

Sonny asks Jason if it’s a set-up, and Carly says she’ll come back. Jason tells her to stay right there, and explains about asking them to be godparents. Carly says of course she’ll do it. She says it’s about Scout, not them. Sonny says they can come together for that, even though their lives are apart.

Josslyn asks Jax if Carly called and told him about her and Sonny. He’s clueless, and she tells him they’re estranged. He says he needs to talk to her. He has bad news about Lady Jane; she’s passed away. He tears up, and says he’s sorry. They hug.

Laura tells Tracy that Edward thought of her as his heir apparent. Tracy says he disinherited her twice. Laura says she thinks he was afraid of her, but for all of his bluster, he wore his heart on his sleeve. It was clear that he saw a bright, capable woman, who wouldn’t just supplant, but surpass him. Tracy wonders what she’s doing here. Laura asks why it’s hard for her to accept Edward’s love. Tracy says he never said he loved her, and Laura says he was stingy with the words because they were valuable to him.

Michael brings in champagne. Ned makes a toast. Michael asks Olivia-F if she’s moving in to the Quartermaine mansion, but Olivia says they haven’t discussed it. Michael says living with the Quartermaines can be difficult. Olivia says difficult, but rewarding.

Laura tells Tracy that if the trip is going to bring up bad memories, they can scrap it. She can forget all about it. Tracy says good idea, but when they open the door, they hear crying. Tracy says it sounds like a woman, and Laura says they’re the only women there.

Alexis asks Sam if she has a lead. Sam says the call might not have been from Julian. If Julian was worried about criminal charges, he’d get as far away as possible. She tells Alexis that it’s difficult, but not to get her hopes up.

Carly says it’s settled; they’re godparents. Jason thanks them. Carly says what if Sonny had said no, but Jason says there was no plan B. He figured they’d put aside differences for Scout. She leaves, and Sonny follows. He tells her that they need to talk. She says they did, and he said everything she needed to hear. He walks away.

Josslyn tells Jax that her grandmother sounded like she was doing better. She wishes she’d been there. Jax says her grandmother wanted her to remember her the way she was. He says she died in her sleep, and it was peaceful. Josslyn asks if he was there, and he says he was. He says it was sad for him, but she had an amazing life, full of people who loved her. Josslyn was one of the brightest lights in her life. He gives her a letter from her grandmother. She doesn’t want to read it right now. They talk about missing her.

Sam gets back home. Jason says Scout has her godparents, but he’s not so sure about Sonny and Carly getting back together.

Sonny tells Diane to clear the afternoon. He has something for her.

Sam tells Jason that she doesn’t think Alexis can let it go until they can prove Julian is gone. She shows Jason the footage from the gas station camera. He says it could be Julian, but a lot of guys fit that description. Sam gets an alert that Julian’s credit card was used.

Outside Kelly’s, Alexis makes plans to meet Molly for lunch. A hooded figure watches her.

Ned asks about Tracy, and Michael says he’s sure she’s on her way. Ned says she gave her blessing, but that’s before Olivia turned him down the first time. Larry says that Tracy is a pussycat, and Ned says he’s had too much to drink. Larry thinks she’ll be distracted by his proposal. Ned says she’s best resist his scam, but Larry insists he has the deal of a lifetime for the both of them. Michael gets a message, and tells them that Tracy chartered company jet for going to Turkey. Larry does spit take.

Tracy and Laura catch the monks trying to sneak out with the painting. Tracy tells them that she’s Edward’s daughter, and the painting is hers. They uncover the painting, and it’s a portrait of Tracy, during the period when she wore braids on top of her head.

Jax and Josslyn look at photos and reminisce. She asks about a hat that her grandmother is wearing, and Jax says it’s hers. Her grandmother would want her to have it.

We see that the episode is in memory of Barbara Tarbuck. She played Lady Jane on GH, and passed away recently.

Tomorrow, Jason talks to Andre about Jake, Nathan asks Sam if Julian has a plan to leave town, and Tracy wants answers now.

Southern Charm

Thomas brings Landon a flower. Then walks her dog with her. They sit on a park bench. She asks what he thinks will make him happy. He says a partner in life. He thinks they should take a chance. Yuk! But they deserve each other. This could also be a deceptive scene.

Patricia looks up Pug Chauncey’s horoscope.

Shep is scouting the bars, looking for his credit card, which he lost the night before. Cameran calls him a moron, and he says he knows.

Cameran can’t find Craig. She thinks he’s embarrassed about having to admit he didn’t finish law school at the reunion. Well, he wasn’t that hard to find. He’s in his yard building…something. Carpentry is his new hobby, along with gardening. Instead of going out on the weekends, he’s been buying new power tools. He still has plans to study for the bar, but Cameran says no one is holding a gun to his head. He tells her that he wants to be able to say he finished something that he started.

Thomas says his life has taken a transformative change. Kathryn failed a drug test, and now he has the kids. They’re living in the guest house because “kids are messy and destructive.” If they spit up, he wants it to be on a $200 rug, rather than a $30K rug. No comment. Kathryn can’t see the kids until she passes a drug test. What is it? Weed? Please. Or something else? Thomas says his least favorite part isn’t poopy diapers, but concern about their future, especially if something should happen to him.

Shep meets his friend Austen. Austen is already chatting with a couple of girls. They talk about the summer. Shep traveled a lot. He asks if Austen knows Landon, and says that he wants the truth about if she slept with Thomas. We flash back to Landon’s confession of love for Shep. He says it’s the South, so they’re just sweeping that under the rug. The girl Shep had been talking with is leaving, but he can’t remember her name, so no phone number. Austen tells Shep that she’d already given him her number.

Is Austen a new cast member? Omg, he’s telling us all about being newly single, and we see his nakey butt getting into the shower. It’s not a great view, and nobody needs to see this. He He’s originally from Maryland, and tells us that he actually has a job – as a beer company rep. He gets paid to drink and talk about beer. This is a real job? He flashes back to his parents telling him that he needs to support himself. They actually work too.

Whitney visits his mom, who’s doing a needlepoint of Chauncey. She has a new buzzer instead of a bell. She calls for Michael, the great martini maker, and they order drinks. Whitney tells her about a trip he took to Mexico, where they didn’t do any drinking, an just smoked weed. Patricia gives him a lecture, and brings up Kathryn, so that answers that question. In her interview, she seems sincere in hoping that Kathryn turns her life around. I think what Kathryn needs is rehab from Thomas. Patricia tells Whitney about an Uncle Philip, who went from a government job to working at Blockbuster because he smoked too much weed. It reminds me of one of those old, laughable PSAs.

Landon goes paddle boarding. And promptly falls off. She tells us that her life was a complete mess last year, and we flash back to some of that. She’s annoyed about the Thomas affair gossip, because her reputation is at stake. She spent the summer traveling, and now it’s time to face the bullsh*t again. Craig calls, and they talk about an upcoming pool party. She doesn’t think she and Shep are cool, even though Shep says they are. She’s bringing a friend named Drew, but when Craig asks if they’re dating, she avoids the question. Omg, she’s thirty-five. Seriously, is it me, or are people more immature today?

Thomas plays some polo with Eliza, the daughter of one of his close friends, and she keeps calling him grandpa. He’s too stupid to be insulted. She invites him to a party on Sunday (is this the pool party?) and he tells her that she should invite Kathryn. She tells him that she got a weird text from Kathryn, and she’d been kicked out of where she was living. She says she became friends with Kathryn before all this happened, and Thomas thinks it’s going to be a long road. Eliza says Kathryn needs Jesus. No doubt in my mind.

Shep meets Cameron at a beachwear shop. They’re looking for new suits for the party. She asks who he’s bringing, and he says Austen. Cameron asks if Austen is replacing Craig, and tells him she’s bringing Chelsea. She thinks Chelsea might be the mystical unicorn who changes Shep. They talk about Craig. Shep thinks the bar is over for him, since it’s been three years. In his interview, Shep says he’s over Craig and trying to help him. Cameran says that Craig is insecure. Shep says he’s from a family that’s basically jocks, and he wrote a cookbook. He’s not like them, and decided he wanted to be like a Southern bon vivant, and trying to be something he’s not. He wonders if Craig lies to his girlfriend. He says there’s no way Craig is cheating on her, and gives a funny analogy about Craig trying to get some, involving monkeys and whorehouses.

Kathryn calls Craig as he’s driving with girlfriend Naomie. She says she’s trying to get her life back on track, and living with her family in the meantime. She says she’d like to see them. Naomie has to get back to school, but Craig says he has time. In his interview, he admits his life has been calmer without her. We flash back, but none of the angst shown is actually Kathryn’s fault. Kathryn says it isn’t public knowledge that she’s back. After they hang up, Craig feels weird that they’re on their way to Landon’s house. They agree not to mention the call.

The guests start to gather for the pool party. Cameron says it’s 150 degrees and immediately puts on her bathing suit. I often think I wouldn’t mind living in Charleston, but then I remember how freaking hot it is there. She says Craig has promised to retire the Speedo. Shep introduces Austen as his protégée, but Austen says he’s a younger, better version of Shep.

As soon as they arrive at Landon’s, Craig tells her about talking to Kathryn. She pretends not to care that Craig is still friends with her. She says it’s a red flag that Kathryn went to rehab so far away and she couldn’t see her children. Um…it’s possible that there were reasons for that. Craig says sober Kathryn is awesome, and they talk about the kids. Landon says she can’t even go to lunch with Thomas without someone saying something nasty. In his interview, Craig says it doesn’t matter if they actually hooked up, Landon and Thomas were having an emotional affair, and it hurt Kathryn. He goes to say that an emotional affair can be even worse than a physical one, and I stare open-mouthed at the TV, because Craig is being so incredibly perceptive.

The pool party is in full swing. Cameran is drinking something called Frozé, which sounds God awful. In his interview, Thomas says that all the talk about them widened the gap between him and Landon. Ew! JD shows up and I don’t like him. Thomas chats with Landon about the summer. She thinks she can hear people talking behind her back, but I don’t hear them, so I don’t know if she’s just being dramatic. What annoys her most is that even if she had been with Thomas, it’s not like he and Kathryn are together. Did I just hear Thomas say that Landon has BO?

Whitney arrives. Everyone seems to be getting reacquainted, so I guess they don’t see much of each other in the summer. If it’s that hot when it’s not summer, I’d be gone too. In her interview, Landon says that Shep hasn’t reached out to apologize or anything, but in true Southern fashion, she acts glad to see him when she wants to tell him f-u. I’m not sure what he’s supposed to apologize for. Not returning her affection?

Thomas acts like an idiot per usual, urging the female guests to go topless. Shep talks to Naomie on the porch. He thinks Craig should do something unconventional, like being a chef. He doesn’t think Craig really wants to be a lawyer. He asks about Craig’s application to the bar, but Naomie says he should talk to Craig. Shep says he refuses to make himself vulnerable when that’s what friendship is about. What happened to these guys that they’re suddenly so astute? He tells Naomie that she’s the best thing that’s happened to Craig.

There’s a waterslide and beach balls and floaties and all kinds of fun stuff. Kathryn’s cousin, Shelby (there always has to be one), is there, and word has it, Kathryn is coming. Shelby says she’s worried about Kathryn, and had to ask her to move. I guess her place is where Kathryn was given the boot. She says Kathryn completed the program, but doesn’t seem any better.

Naomie tells them about the phone call, and says Kathryn sounded great. Thomas says she won’t take another drug test, and thinks it’s because she’ll fail. Cameran says she has respect for him stepping up for the kids. Ew! JD says he keeps thinking Kathryn is going to walk in wearing a ballgown, and make a statement.

Meanwhile, Kathryn goes to an appointment for a drug test.

This season, lots of drinking and parties, a toast to the bourgeoisie, Kathryn and Shep do yoga, Patricia presents an Indian psychic healer, Naomie asks Craig if he wants to be a lawyer and he tells her she’s being “dumb,” Austen hooks up with Shelby, Kathryn joins the group again, Jennifer is still around, and Shep tells Craig that if you mess with the bull, you get the horns. I can’t even believe anyone says that.

Vanderpump Rules – Reunion Part One

Reunions are tough to recap because everyone always starts talking at once, or even better, screeching at once. They should put in subtitles, or a flow chart in the corner.

Andy introduces Lisa as the Empress of SUR. No, Andy, she is the Queen of the World, She Who Can Do No Wrong. Introductions are made, and we find out that Stassi went on the honeymoon with Katie and Schwartz. Thank God Tom has gotten a haircut and those ridiculous highlights are gone. Scheana has a fresh cut too, and it looks amazing.

Jax is up first. Omg, Andy forgot to introduce Kristen. He remembered because of course we’re going over the Brittany/Kristen debacle. Kristen insists it didn’t happen, but James believes Jax. Britanny says it was just a kiss, and that they weren’t even nakey. Andy basically asks Jax if he has no shame, and he doesn’t. Andy moves on.

The wedding is discussed. The budget issue is brought up, and Schwartz has to agree that he was delusional thinking it could be pulled off on the cheap. Ew! We revisit the butt steaks. Andy asks Stassi how it felt to be back in the friend loop and be a bridesmaid, and she says it was everything. They talk about prenups. Lisa can’t figure out why Schwartz and Katie bothered, since they had fifty bucks between them. She says Shay was a different story, although Scheana says she had nothing at the time either.

Jax and Brittany have moved. To Schwartz and Katie’s building. And their floor. Katie says she doesn’t want it to be a dorm situation, and wasn’t too happy about it. Brittany tells us the story about Jax losing his temper at the apartment management, and they basically were asked to leave. Jax says they weren’t evicted, but got “move out papers,” whatever that means.

Focusing on James. Lisa says he was a good DJ until he screwed up. They talk about James’s lack of self-control. We flash back to James spinning at World Dog Day, and reminding people to pick up their dog’s poop. Apparently, he played all his own music.

Lisa talks about World Dog Day and how successful it was. Andy says he can mark the start of summer by Lisa getting a new Porsche. They discuss Katie picking up the car, and how Katie got annoyed at Schwartz when they were at the dealer. Schwartz tells everyone one again that his penis works, and says Jax can verify that.

Next is the tragedy in Orlando, and Lisa’s decision to continue on with the Pride events. They have the coolest flashback using a filter that brings out only a few colors, Lisa’s pink outfit being the predominant one. Lisa gets emotional, and says she felt that they could either go home or stand strong, but she didn’t hold it against anyone who didn’t join in. The employees who sat it out make their excuses. Lisa says it was an incredible success, and she’s glad she made the decision. We flash back to the craziness at PUMP. We hear that Katie sent a snotty text message about the celebration, and Katie says there are better ways to show support, other than pouring alcohol down someone’s throat. Ariana says it wasn’t about them having fun, it was about the Pride attendees having fun. Andy tells everyone that Lala will be joining them, and a lot of faces are made.

We go over Lala’s tattoos. Andy asks about the feud with Katie. Katie says Lala acted like a drunken a-hole at her engagement party, and she didn’t see her after that, but Lala was talking a lot about her. Lala says before Katie ever even knew her, Katie called her a whore. She calls Katie a mean girl.

Andy wants to know why Lala said some things. He goes over some really stupid stuff that Lala has said, like calling Stassi old. He asks why Lala said that Katie and Schwartz would get divorced, and Lala says because that’s what she thinks. She finally admits that she just said stuff to be hurtful. She says if someone keeps coming at her, she gets more hurt and lashes out. She says she doesn’t get them, and James suggests they liked hating on her. Kristen says he did too, until he hooked up with her. Tom says that Lala did nothing to deserve the treatment she got, and Kristen says she trashed them on social media.

We revisit Jax almost thumping James. Tom says Jax is all bark and no bite, but Jax says he was on probation, so he had to stand down. Andy asks why James talked about Scheana having work done, and James apologizes for everything he’s ever said – almost. They talk about Lala’s comment that no one has been working on their summer bodies, and Stassi says Lala doesn’t take responsibility for her remarks.

Schwartz talks about Ariana and Tom being on Lala’s side, and Katie gets pissed off all over again. Tom says she takes no responsibility for provoking it, and it’s an ongoing thing. He says when she first met Lala, Katie was constantly giving her sh*t. He says he’s normally protective of the group when a new person is introduced, but she went on a rampage.

Andy tells Lisa that the unsung heroes of SUR are the chefs, and he goes behind-the-scenes in the kitchen to interview them. He talks about each of the girls and the chefs give their opinions. It turns out that they have quite a few opinions, even on the Brittany/Kristen thing. BTW, they think Jax is no good for Brittany. He also steals something every time he comes in the kitchen. And they like Brittany’s boobs. I’m sure Jax will be proud.

James is still dating Raquel. Andy asks about GG saying he had sex with her, which he continues to deny. Ariana claims that GG wanted to worm her way into the group, but Stassi says that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. We move on to Ellie’s claim, and the picture she had as evidence. Lisa isn’t buying that James is being honest. Andy asks if anyone believes that James didn’t sleep with GG and Ellie. James says don’t anyone rush to raise your hands when not one person does, and it gets seriously quiet. James says he loves Raquel and he’s never been happier. He talks about his relationship with Kristen being toxic, and Jax says it got him on the show. <snort!>

Stassi says that James is like GG, and he imitates Stassi crawling back to the show, literally getting down on the floor. It is pretty funny, and even Stassi laughs. Andy asks if James has been drinking today, and he says not yet.

Lisa thinks that Lala puts on a gansta image, but that’s not who she is. She says that Lala was also a great hostess, and the customers loved her. Ariana talks about how she tried to get Lala and the other girls to kiss and make up, and we flash back to that. Scheana says her apology was sincere, but Kristen doesn’t think so. Andy asks Katie about rage texting Scheana after talking to Stassi. Stassi says prior to that, everything she and Scheana had talked about was the opposite, and when the heat is on, Scheana cowers. Here comes the talking all at once. Stassi calls Scheana a flip-flopper. Katie says they tried to be honest with their feelings, and there’s more talking and loudness and finger-pointing.

Tom says that Katie exaggerated what the other girls said. Ariana says they tried to talk to Stassi about what happened and it blew up. Stassi says she was drunk AF, and we flash back to when she ran into the bathroom crying. It’s true that this group loves to bring up serious and/or important topics when they’ve all been drinking their faces off. Ariana gives her impression of Stassi. Scheana says they make her nervous, and Tom says he feels the same way; you never know what’s going to cause an eruption. James thinks Stassi is the boss and the head bitch. Tom says that Katie was emotionally vulnerable, and instead of being the voice of reason, Stassi and Kristen encouraged her behavior. Stassi maintains that the problem isn’t anyone having a differing opinion, but she doesn’t like how Scheana went back and forth.

Andy calls Brittany “Switzerland.” She says she and Scheana are super close, and she knows Scheana sometimes felt bullied. Lala seconds that, and says she’s seen it firsthand. She wants to know why it’s hard for them to back down for friendship’s sake. Katie says she mismanaged her emotions this summer, and wasn’t ready to accept Lala’s apology. Lala interrupts, but Andy says let her finish, and Katie apologizes. She says she was stubborn against Lala. She wasn’t in a good place with herself or her body image. She says what she did wasn’t okay. She can’t justify it, and apologizes.

Lala tears up and says she’s waited a long time for someone to say they’re sorry for hurting her feelings. She says her mouth is vicious, and she has to work on it daily. Tom thinks she and Katie are more alike than they know. Lala says she doesn’t hate Katie in any way of the word. Andy says headway has been made.

Thank you, Katie, for saying that you had an ugly moment, not that it wasn’t you. I don’t know if you realize how mature that is.

Next time, Reunion Part Two, Stassi’s little brother gives Jax a lecture, James gets on his high horse, Katie’s drinking is addressed, and Lala is questioned about the married man.

🐮 I’m really enjoying Sweet Home Oklahoma. The cast seems genuine, and genuinely funny.

March 28, 2017 – Anna’s Truth is Revealed, Alex is Back in Maxine, the Wives Return from Hong Kong & Thoughts

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Obrecht gives Anna a folder containing everything she wanted to know about Valentin, but was afraid to ask.

Ned asks if Tracy is okay. He just told her that Michael might be costing her money, and she didn’t react. She says everything is fine, but she has to go. He wonders why she’s being purposely vague. He asks if she’s hiding something, and says don’t tell him she’s meeting with Larry.

Alexis hears something and thinks it’s Julian. She opens the door, but there’s nothing and no one there. She definitely dipped into that vodka. About three fourths is gone. She says if Julian is still alive, here’s his chance to stop her from drinking. She pours another, and says that’s what she thought. There’s a knock at the door.

Sonny asks if Lucy can wait. She says she doesn’t mean to interrupt, but she has to speak with both of them. It’s about their son. She says she’s gone back and forth about it, but has finally decided. Ava comes dashing in, saying that she wants to talk to Sonny about Avery’s education, even though she’s like two years old. Lucy says they were discussing their son. Ava goes on about Michael, and how she knows he hasn’t been able to contribute as much to the Nurses Ball. She says the Jerome Gallery is willing to make up the difference. Sonny tells Lucy she can count on him anytime, just not right now. (Well, that isn’t any time then, is it Sonny?) Ava tells Sonny that they can talk another day, and she’ll use this time to talk to Lucy. Ava and Lucy leave, and Carly is like, what was that?

Ned tells Tracy that the last time she met Larry, she ended up with worms in her brain. She reminds Ned that Larry said what he has to talk about is connected to her father, but Ned says that Larry knows that’s her Achilles’s heel, and he’s planning another con. She says on the outside chance it’s not a con, she has to find out. He says he hopes she’s prepared to be taken for a ride.

At least Alexis is smart enough to put the bottle in the cupboard this time. It’s Valentin. He asks if he can come in, and she wonders what happens if she says no. He tells her that would be rude, and she says they can’t have that. He asks for a drink, but she says that would indicate that she wants him to stay. He asks if she prefers to drink alone.

Obrecht tells Anna about Valetin sending messages to an encrypted account, and makes her swear not to use the information to hunt down Britt. She gives Anna the folder, saying she’s glad that Anna is as flawed and imperfect as the rest of them. Anna tells her that she can go now, and Obrecht says, you’re welcome. Yeah, really.

Tracy goes to Larry’s room, but decides Ned is right. Larry answers and she tells him she’s leaving. He says that he swiped her company credit card by mistake, and she’s paying for the room. He tells her if she’s not interested, he’ll go, but it’s a matter of the utmost importance to her family.

Ned is picking Olivia-F up for the movies, but she’s running late. He asks if she’s okay, and she says no. She tells him she has a proposal, but not that kind. He’s been more a father to Leo than Julian, and she thinks he should make it official and legally become Leo’s father. Ned says he can’t do that.

Alexis asks why Valentin is there. He gives her his condolences for her husband’s death. He says he had personal matters to deal with, but now he wants to make good on a promise – the keys to the Cassadine estate.

Anna shows Andre an email to her from Faison. She doesn’t understand why it the order to kill Valentin was issued in her name, but gets why it happened. He was to be taken out because of classified information falling into the wrong hands. The bureau was compromised, and agents were killed. Andre asks if Valentin was a double-agent. Anna says she doesn’t know, but the information wasn’t turned over by him – it was her.

Tracy tells Larry to start talking, and how is this connected to her family? He says Turkey, referring to the country. He’d been hopping across Europe, and his companion wanted to visit auction house in Turkey. One particular painting caught his eye. Another piece of the artist’s work had been appraised at $20 million, but he found out the painting belonged to someone else, and the house had no right to broker it. Imagine his surprise when he found out the owner was J.L. Holt, an alias of her father’s.

Ava says she’ll donate whatever Lucy needs. Lucy says they need money for everything, since one of their regular donors isn’t liquid. Ava says okay, and also wants Lucy’s silence. She writes a figure down, and Lucy says, wow, so cute, but they need another zero. She says it is for a worthy cause, showing Ava the bottle in her purse.

Sonny asks if Carly really wants to do this now with all the interruptions. She says he told her they haven’t had a real marriage in a long time. She doesn’t know when, or if, she can move past Nelle. He says he can’t keep doing the back and forth. She asks what he’s saying, and he tells her that if she’s not going to give them a chance, they’re done.

Laura tells Lulu that the Corrinthos family has no use for Nelle, but she thinks that Nelle has feelings for Michael. Nelle could be their way to outmaneuver Valentin.

Anna tells Andre that Valentin was questioned, and claimed he was tasked with a special assignment, and that Anna had requested the information that was leaked. He disappeared soon afterward, and the bureau thought it was his attempt to shift blame. Andre says everyone knows she wouldn’t sell out the bureau, but Anna says she would.

Valentin says Charlotte could use some relatives, and is about Danny’s age. Alexis thinks he’s trying to show he’s a good daddy, and maybe get some shared custody strategy from Diane. He says he had no siblings growing up, and wants things to be different for Charlotte. Alexis says that Charlotte has a sibling, Rocco, and he should start there. He takes out the vodka, opens the bottle, and tosses the cap to her, putting the bottle down. He leaves, and she takes her glass back out. There’s another knock at the door. Alexis doesn’t bother hiding anything, thinking it’s Valentin again, but it’s Julian.

Tracy tells Larry that she remembers her father running off to lead a different life for a couple of years. Larry says he had exquisite taste in art and always knew the value ahead of time. He informed the house that he knew the owner. They had been trying to track him down, and assumed he was dead. Larry says that the painting belongs to Edward’s heirs, and it could be returned for quid pro quo. He says the painting is worth $20 million, and they could split it. Tracy balks at paying $10 million for a painting her family already owns. He says without his knowledge, she has little to go on. Tracy says Ned told her he’d try to con her again, and she’s not playing. As she’s walking away, he tells her to think about what her father would want.

Ned asks Olivia-F what they’re doing. They’ve been dating off and on for three years, and he helped raise Leo. He’s not good enough to marry, but she wants him to be Leo’s father. Olivia tells him to look around. Everyone’s marriages are falling apart. It’s like a marriage license is a guarantee of breaking up.

Andre says that Anna’s record speaks for itself, and Anna tells him that it’s been strategically edited. She graduated with high marks got a plum assignment. She was immature and arrogant, and thought she was smarter than the system. If the DVX would pay for information, why not accept it? If she was going to risk her life, she deserved compensation. She thought she was worldly, but she was naïve. That’s how she talked herself into being a double-agent. People died, and she had to go underground, and couldn’t even raise her own child. Andre says that doesn’t sound like her, but she says that he’s wrong. It’s not who she is today, but it was then. Andre says she judges herself too harshly, and wonders if Valentin is lying. She says maybe they were both lied to.

Julian says he had the feeling Alexis might be drinking again, and came to stop her from making a mistake. She says no, and closes the door, but now he’s inside. Everywhere she turns, she sees him. She says too late, she’s been drinking all day, but he says it’s never too late to stop. She tells him that he has no right telling her what to do. She says that she read his letter, and he says protecting her. Alexis says had Julian told her the truth, maybe she wouldn’t be drinking in the first place.

Ava tells Lucy that she doesn’t have that kind of money. Lucy says maybe Sonny and Carly will come forward. Ava asks for a couple of days, but Lucy says her budget has to be ready in the morning, so she needs the cash by tonight. If not, they have a problem.

Sonny says that he and Carly are in a strange limbo. She asks who put them there? He says she keeps dangling forgiveness in front of him and taking it away, and asks if their marriage is worth fighting for. She says he’s doing it again. He lied, and now he’s giving her an ultimatum because she’s not forgiving him. If he wants to end the marriage, fine with her.

Tracy says she’s going to find the painting herself. She sees Ava and Lucy talking. Lucy tells Ava that as soon as the funds are confirmed, the pills are hers. Lucy leaves, and Ava wonders where she’s getting that kind of money on such short notice. Tracy joins her at the bar, saying she needs help about a painting.

Carly tells Sonny that if they’d had a marriage, he would have warned her about Nelle. He demands honesty, but his first instinct is to lie, and she refuses to be shut out again. He says she’s always known his business is about secrets. She says that she tried to trust him, but he lets things come to boiling point and it explodes. He tells her that he’s let her in more than anyone, and wonders why she focuses on what he can’t do.

Lulu tells Laura that Dante talked to Michael about Nelle, and he seemed furious with her. Really? I didn’t take him as being “furious.” Laura says it didn’t seem that way to her, and if Nelle wants to be back in his good graces, she should endear herself to Lulu and Dante. Lulu asks if Laura thinks that Nelle wouldn’t alienate her.

Anna goes to Valentin and says that he had the information that the DVX wanted, and he tells her that he was interrogated about it. She thinks they’ve both been played

Alexis tells Julian that she spent months trying to understand who he’d become, and she couldn’t process it because he kept her in the dark.  She lost her husband, her law license, and her self-respect because he didn’t give her the facts. Julian says he did what he did to keep her safe. She says he’s not really there and she’s just imagining it; what he’s saying is what she wants to hear. He says she’s right. He’s in her mind, which means it’s not him, but her, telling herself to put the bottle down.

Julian says he’s a manifestation of what she already knows. She needs to get back to AA. What would her daughters say, and what about getting her license back? She has too much to live for. She says not with him, and he tells her a little piece of him will always be in her heart. She’s about to kiss him, when he disappears. She pours out the rest of Rolo’s vodka. Is Rolo’s really a thing, or are they making that up? It sounds like something that’s $4.99 a gallon.

Ned tells Olivia-F that they’re going to The Floating Rib tonight, and he’s proposing again. However she responds is what he’ll accept as her final answer.

Ava asks Tracy what she needs. Tracy says painting by Renaissance master that was owned by her family, but left in Turkey. If anyone can help find it, it’s Ava. Ava says she can, for a price.

Carly says she has to forgive Sonny and accept his lies, and he gets to decide what she can know; it’s marriage on his terms. He says she’s twisting it. He’d give his life for her, but he’s never pretending to be what he isn’t, and if who he is doesn’t work for her, there’s the door. Cold Sonny. Can’t blame him though. She says this is her walking out, and she’s not coming back. She leaves, and Sonny smashes a glass against the wall.

Laura doesn’t think they can use Nelle to get visitation, and Lulu asks how is she an advantage then? Laura isn’t sure yet, but tells Lulu to make friends with her. When Valentin tries to do something to sabotage them (like he has to; they do well enough on their own), Nelle will be a witness. Lulu wonders if she’ll have an ally or a spy.

Valentin says one of them got played, but it wasn’t Anna. He says he was a rising star, and she dragged him down. She persuaded him to give her information for what she said was a special assignment. She says there must have been a third party, but Valentin says she asked him herself – after they slept together. DUN-DUN-DUNN!

Tomorrow, Amy 2.0 gets a chance to shine, Nina talks to Griff, and Ava tells Tracy she’s got it.

If Loving You is Wrong

Since my internet connection is down, I’m just capsulizing this. Long sad story and day. Maybe you’ll like it better. Maybe I will. I just want my internet back. <SOB!>

Kelly is questioned about Ramsey at the station. The questions seem a bit intrusive and I’m wondering about the officer. Okay, seriously now, he just asked why she wasn’t dating him. That doesn’t sound like the kind of question they’d be asking. It would be great if they’d tell us how he died. He also gives her the report on Travis to give to her lawyer.

Kelly sees Travis at the station and acts ignorant. He asks her a bunch of ridiculous questions, and after acting like he doesn’t know why he was called there, says that they want to talk to him about Ramsey. He’s so stupid, he grabs Kelly, and then tells the officer that she’s a liar. Some girl joins him, and claims that Kelly sends text messages to him, and he shows them his phone. He makes up a bunch of other lies, saying that Kelly is a jealous, scorned ex. The supposed new girlfriend says they’ve been praying for her, and Kelly suggests they pray for Travis. I don’t think the officer is buying all this, but he tells them to stay away from each other. Kelly talks to Esperanza while she’s there. Essie is concerned that Kelly will be a suspect.

Andrew is nowhere to be found, and Steven questions Eddie. Steven acts like he’s all down with Eddie. Eddie tells him about Lushion being FBI, but Steven gives him a file saying Lushion is too much of an idiot to be FBI. Eddie insists that Steven knows nothing, and says he’ll call the FBI himself. Like the FBI will just give up this information to a stranger.

Steven tells Lushion that they just need one more piece – I assume he means evidence—and everything will be cleared up.

The hospital is keeping Alex and Randal’s baby for the night. He had water in his lungs, and they want to make sure it doesn’t turn into pneumonia. Someone from child welfare asks them what happened. Randal tells her that Alex’s mother dropped him in the lake, and Alex tries to explain. Randal keeps putting in his two cents, and Alex keeps telling him to shut up. He says that right about now, her parents should be burning in hell, which is enough for the child welfare woman to say they’re keeping him. When she’s gone, Alex tells Randal that she wishes they’d killed him. He says unfortunately for her, they didn’t.

The officer questions Travis, and asks if he’ll do a DNA test. He agrees, but then prattles on about how Kelly won’t leave him alone, and even tells her son that Travis is his father. I have the feeling the officer isn’t picking up what Travis is putting down. He asks more questions about Ramsey, and tells Travis not to leave town and to stay away from Kelly. Before he leaves, Travis asks to pray for the officer. As he’s praying, the officer looks skeptical, even though he claims he was feelin’ it afterward. Travis invites him to the church, and he says he’ll be by. When Travis is gone, he says he’ll be by with some handcuffs. Yep, I’m right.

Lushion visits Pete. He gives Pete a gun, saying that Pete didn’t get it from him. They talk about Joey. He tells Pete to trust him; they’re all going down.

Out of the loop Randal can’t find his mother. Alex comes home and he grabs her. Marcie pops out, and Alex says Randal is just leaving, and so is Marcie. Marcie asks what happened, and Alex tells her to get out. Marcie says she’s not leaving until her man gets there with her car. Alex asks who her man is, and Marcie tells her that it’s Brad. Alex says she’s not in the mood, and Marcie antagonizes her. They tussle, and Brad walks in and separates them, taking Marcie out. Marcie says he’s hers now. Like any guy except Lushion is a prize on this show.

Kelly makes an appointment with her lawyer. Her boss tells her to call her son’s school. He left his science project in the car and Kelly asks if she can drop it off. Her boss says that’s fine, and tells Kelly what a great employee she is.

Not a big shock. Travis is waiting in Kelly’s car.

Next time, Kelly struggles with Travis, Lushion accuses Eddie of killing Andrew, and Louise tells Randal to let it go.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

LisaR questions Dorit as to whether her dinner party guests were crammed in the bathroom doing coke. Dorit is appalled. Lisa says she was sitting at the table by herself, and we flash back to her sitting at a table for maybe eight, empty, except for her and PK talking. I can think of several reasons why they might have left her sitting alone, not one of them involving drugs. Dorit says, yes, her home is a coke den, and Lisa says she alluded to her being a Xanax addict, and all this time she’d kept her thoughts to herself. Lisa says some more stupid stuff, and gets up from the table.

LisaV thinks it’s time to leave, and Eileen agrees this isn’t getting anywhere. On the way home, Dorit gets upset because she has small children at home. LisaV says she’s been there, and we flash back to – OH GOD NO – the Munchhausen conversation. We will never be rid of that. Never.

The next morning, LisaR calls LisaV to say thanks for the trip. She wishes she could stay for the shopping, but she has to get to Chicago. LisaV isn’t too happy about how she attacked Dorit, but invites her to an upcoming get together. LisaR has no regrets. She says she “goes there” with people who aren’t listening or say untruths. Says the person who didn’t remember telling Eden that Kim was not sober and close to death.

Eileen frets about the altercation with Erika, but it’s time for shopping, so she has to set that aside. Dorit says shopping will always take away the pain. They go to rich people stores that sell beautiful stuff. Erika points out that she’s a size six at home, but an extra-large in Hong Kong. Erika’s sunglasses are everything. Rich people wear the best sunglasses.

Eden buys Erika a friendship ring. OMG, ERIKA’S EARRINGS!!! They’re hoops, but they’re unusual and the color is a metallic rose gold.

LisaV takes the ladies to the ASPCA, where they’ve brought some dogs that were rescued from the meat trade. The whole thing is just so sad. But on the happy end, they visit the saved pups. Lisa talks about the cause in her interview. Eileen has a moment with one of the dogs. She asks about adoption, but it’s complicated and lengthy. They go to a room where some of the dogs can wander around and mingle. The dogs play bitey-face with each other. In her interview, Lisa says if you’re a dog lover, you can’t ignore this situation. I agree. She says that this is what the trip was for, and hopes the women understand.

Erika meets Eileen for lunch. She wants to apologize. Eileen explains that The Young and the Restless has been running late, but Erika will be getting a script soon. In her interview, Eileen says it’s awkward, since both of them are pretending nothing happened. Kyle joins them. They talk about the Hong Kong dinner, and Erika doesn’t think Dorit is sincere. She keeps making it seem like Dorit and PK said she flashed him on purpose, but that’s not what happened. She’s hoping for an apology at LisaV’s. Suddenly, she apologizes to Eileen for her meltdown. Eileen is cool about it. Erika says she was exhausted from taking the high road, and for the first time, I can identify with her.

Boy George is starting his tour, and Dorit is glad she’s not the one traveling. She talks to PK about what happened in Hong Kong. She doesn’t know where to go with LisaR. PK says LisaR is schizophrenic and dangerous. Dorit tells him about Erika’s “dramatic hoo-ha,” referring to her dinner dramatics, not Pantygate. He wonders about seeing them at LisaV’s gathering.

Commercial break with important information. Below Deck: Mediterranean begins again on Tuesday, May 2nd. They’ll be traveling to Croatia.

Erika comes to the Y&R studio. Eileen meets her in the dressing room. She’s excited and nervous. Eileen tells her that it used to be her dressing room, and her son practically grew up there.

Kyle works on the show she’s producing. Another producer goes over the upcoming scene with her. She’s liking being on the other side of the camera, and wants to earn her title. Mauricio visits Kyle on the set. In her interview, she talks about their crazy schedule, but they’re navigating it together.

Erika is playing Farrah Dubois, a real estate agent. She and Eileen’s character, Ashley, literally run into each other and have an exchange. They meet later and Farrah tries to talk Ashley into buying a house. Eileen thinks Erika should be on the show again.

Kevin Lee sets up Lisa’s party. She talks about the fist fights arguments in Hong Kong. In her interview, she says that she thought LisaR’s intentions were good at first, but now she’s not so sure. She doesn’t want to backtrack, but feels the need to point out that some of the things LisaR says are not acceptable. Ponies! LisaV introduces Kevin to the pony guy, and Kevin asks if he’s straight. Yes, he is. Oh well. Lisa leaves to get ready while the ponies get their hair done.

The rules are to wear pink, diamonds, and wedges. Kyle has tried to hem her jumpsuit on the fly, and thinks it’s crooked. That sounds like something I would do. Take the scissors to a pair of pants five minutes before I’m wearing them.

Erika’s glam squad is shocked at the wedges rule (frankly, so am I), and Erika says they don’t do wedges. So instead they come up with a pink wig for her to wear.

LisaV tends to the last-minute details. She says Kevin always interprets what she wants, and then some, even though she never understands a word he says. The tent is gorgeous, all pink and flowing, with a dreamlike room underneath it. Lots of crystal and pink happening.

Dorit tells PK she thinks it’s going to be awkward. LisaR tells Eileen that she’s an easy target. Eileen thinks there will be spirited conversation this evening. Is that what we’re calling it now?

Harrison! Everything is even more beautiful all lit up, and everyone is wearing something fabulous. Dorit questions LisaV as to whether she’s ever said that LisaR has a drug problem. LisaV says of course not, and PK seconds that. Dorit finds LisaR unpredictable, and doesn’t know what she’s capable of.

Next time, lots of glitter, some dancing, PK insults Erika, and Dorit tells LisaR to take a step back.

🔫 Imposters is so good! Tonight, Maddie let Tim know that she knows he’s working for the FBI. (There’s a lot of that going around.) But, she propositioned him gave him a proposition. I love this show because it’s full of surprises.

👠 Not so much Little Women: LA. This week, we’re back to the Briana/Matt question. Briana insists she’s moving forward, yet she never seems to. We also find out that after she attended the Dancing with the Stars episode where Terra was eliminated (jinx!), she put the moves on Terra’s manager or publicist or whatever. Christy has had her neck surgery, so nothing new in the infirmary that is her household.

 

March 27, 2017 – Julian Won’t Go Away & a Vanderpump Wedding with a Side of Divorce

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

At the MetroCourt, Scotty tells Ava that he’s going to save her ass.

Laura interrupts Sonny and Carly’s argument at Perks, but Carly says they’re done. It doesn’t matter. Laura stopped respecting boundaries ages ago.

Elizabeth shows Jason the timeline of Jake’s life in the drawings. She tells him that she and Franco wanted to see how he perceived himself. Jason thinks it looks normal.

Sam calls Alexis about helping with Scout so she can take a nap. Alexis says she doesn’t know if she can make it today. She says she keeps playing the Julian stuff over in her head. Sam suggests coming over to talk; she doesn’t want Alexis to be alone. Alexis tells her not to worry, and hints that she’s going to a meeting, as she opens a bottle of vodka. Probably Joe’s Vodka. Sam says the other girls told her that Alexis wasn’t doing very well, but she was handling it – one day at a time. There’s a knock at Sam’s door, and Sam tells Alexis to come by after her meeting. Alexis’s meeting is with a drink and Julian’s letter.

Elizabeth shows Jason the scarecrow in the book, and asks if he doesn’t think it’s worth exploring. He says he talked to the psychologist at the school, and Jake is doing fine. Why reopen an old wound? Franco says it’s just below the surface, waiting for the right trigger.

It’s Carly at Sam’s door. She was looking for Jason, but Sam invites her in to talk. Carly thinks her marriage is over.

Laura apologizes to Sonny. She asks if he wants to talk about it, but he says no thanks. He says he spoke to Dante about what happened at the custody hearing, and Diane is usually better than that. Laura says that Valentin outmaneuvered them. Sonny says he offered Dante help, but Dante turned him down. Laura says well, he is a cop, but he’s also proud, and she jokingly wonders where he gets it. Laura says she might take Sonny up on the offer though.

Scotty tells Ava to finish her drink before Lucy shows up. She asks if Lucy agreed to give him the pill bottle, and he says that’s the plan. Ava doesn’t want Sonny to be more suspicious than he already is. Scotty tells Ava that he has a radical plan to blindside Lucy. As he hustles Ava out of the restaurant, Lucy steps out of the elevator.

Franco says that Jason might not want to talk, but they have to. Jake has something he’s hiding. Elizabeth tells Jason to look at the drawings. She explains about the blank space that the scarecrow now resides in, and says that Jake claims he didn’t draw it. Franco says he knows it’s Jake’s drawing, and Jason asks if this was Franco’s idea. Elizabeth tells him about Jake saying that Sam is cursed. Jason wonders what he knows, and Elizabeth says that’s what she’s trying to find out. She thinks what happened to Sam triggered him, but Jason thinks that Franco is behind it.

Sonny tells Laura to name it. Laura tells him about the six months of limited visitation, after which Lulu can pursue custody. Sonny doesn’t think she’ll have a problem, but Laura says that Valentin is a master manipulator, and she needs to find his vulnerabilities. Sonny says he’ll get someone on it. Laura tells him about Nelle being Valentin’s new nanny.

Carly asks if Sam thinks she’s wrong to still feel betrayed. She says she can’t just forget because Sonny wants her to. Sam says no, and hers is the only opinion that counts. She asks what Carly wants. Carly says that she wants Morgan to be alive, and her life the way it used to be. She says her life was shattered, but she doesn’t think Sonny wants to put it back together.

Scotty tells Ava good-by, and she tells him to enjoy his lunch. Scotty sits down with Lucy, and tells her that she and Ava have a lot in common; they’re both protective of their children. Lucy points out that she doesn’t date her daughter’s boyfriends. She accuses Scotty of doing Ava’s dirty work.

Alexis kicks back with the letter and some booze. We hear Julian’s voice saying she’s better off without him and how much he loves her. Julian appears, and says he’d do it all over again. He’d do anything for her.

Lucy says there’s always an agenda with Scotty. He wants her to hear him out. She says Ava has him wrapped around her little finger, and Lucy knows he wants the pills. He says he’s not denying anything, and she’s shocked. He says he doesn’t like the little finger business, but she’s right on the money with everything else.

Alexis reaches for Julian. There’s’ a knock at the door, and he disappears. Alexis stupidly hides the bottle behind a throw pillow. It’s Ava. She says it’s about Julian. She asks if Alexis knows that Jordan called off the search, and Alexis says it feels like he’s still there. Ava says for her too; he comes to her in her dreams and she can’t accept he’s gone. She says they haven’t found his body because it’s not there to find. She wants to pool their resources to try and find him, and in the meantime, she finds the bottle. Worst. Hiding. Place. Ever.

Sonny is surprised that Valentin hired Nelle. He didn’t think she’d stay in Port Charles. Laura says they don’t know Nelle like he and Carly do. He says Nelle is bad news, and Laura shouldn’t have anything to do with her.

Carly tells Sam that it takes a lot for Sonny to apologize, and he expects it to be accepted because he’s arrogant as hell. Sam says none of the other women Sonny has ever been with are the answer. She’s right; he’s arrogant and Sam doesn’t get it. She says women see the dimples, but underneath, he’s complicated, even scary. She doesn’t think there’s another woman strong enough for him. Carly asks what if she’s not strong enough anymore?

Jason says Franco is using their son to play Elizabeth. Elizabeth is like, thanks a lot for thinking I’m an idiot, and tells him that her eyes are open. She realizes that he has reasons to mistrust Franco. Jason says he despises Franco. He tortured Sam, and Jason doesn’t care about the tumor that was removed; he is who he is. Elizabeth tells him that he’s ignoring medical fact, and Franco is there because she trusts him. Jason says the boys will pay the price, but Elizabeth says Franco has no reason to hurt them. Jason says that Franco wants to play the hero. Franco says that Jake has a problem that needs to be confronted, but Jason says not by Franco. Elizabeth says Franco is a part of their lives and household, and get used to it; he’s not going anywhere. Jason says maybe Jake should then. If Franco is going to be spending so much time there, maybe Jake shouldn’t.

Elizabeth asks if Jason is going to try to take her son if she doesn’t fall in line. He says if she chooses to have a relationship with Franco, that’s her business, but Jake was doing fine until Franco came along. If he’s the cause of Jake’s problems, Jason is going to handle it.

Scotty tells Lucy that it’s time to give the pills back. Lucy asks why she should, and he tells her think of the children. Lucy says she was trying to shield Kiki, but maybe she should know the truth. She says that Kiki and Ava have a relationship based on deception. Scotty asks if Serena would see it that way. She doesn’t like drama, and that’s probably why she hasn’t visited. She asks if he’s threatening to tell on her, and he says if she doesn’t like the prospect, maybe she should reconsider.

Ava says she’ll take Alexis to a meeting, and Alexis tells her to mind her own business. Ava says that Julian tried to help her, and this is how she repays him, with a bottle of vodka. Alexis tells Ava to deal with Julian’s death in her own way and so will she.

Sonny says Nelle’s interest always come first – to hurt Carly and her family. Laura asks if that includes Michael. She saw them talking, and when she asked Michael about Nelle, he said they used to be friends. She had the feeling something was left unfinished. Sonny says Michael gives Nelle more compassion than she deserves, but his family always comes first. Nelle used Morgan’s death to get at them, and Michael will never forgive her for that.

Carly tells Sam that she and Sonny always come back to each other, but maybe they can’t find their way this time. She says that Bobbie thinks she and Sonny have reached tipping point. She likes Sonny, just not with Carly. Sam can’t blame her. Carly wishes things would go back to the way they used to be. but it feels wrong.  As many times as they say they’ll never do it again, they do. Sam says it’s the marriage they have, but it doesn’t have to be the marriage she’s stuck with. A marriage is done when you’re done growing. Carly says maybe they’ve reached that point. Sam tells her that she’s admired them for years because their love is so strong. Carly needs to ask herself if she’s sure that they don’t have it in them to grow some more.

Elizabeth wonders why Jason thinks Franco is the problem. Franco tells her to look at the bright side; they didn’t get in a fist fight, and that represents progress. Elizabeth says it was disastrous, and thinks that Jason is on the verge of threatening war. Franco says that Jason loves Jake more than he hates Franco. He knows something is wrong. He’s never going to be their cheerleader, but so what? Elizabeth says for Jake’s sake, she needs him on board.

Scotty says that Sonny and Carly should go on with their lives. Lucy doesn’t believe he’s being moved by compassion. He says he knows her, and she always does the right thing so Serena will be proud of her. Lucy thinks there’s more than meets the eye. She says she’s a stand-up friend, and one friend who’s never hurt her is Sonny. She grabs a piece of bread, says “Ta!” and leaves.

Laura appreciates Sonny being candid and will take it to heart. She’ll do whatever it takes to protect her family. Sonny suggests a backup plan, since Nelle is a disaster waiting to happen. Laura says he’s still standing. Sonny says he doesn’t know if he has it in him to try again with Carly He loves her, but it’s like what they had isn’t there anymore. Laura tells him to dig deeper to find it, and make sure there’s nothing left before walking away.

Ava says she’s not going to let Alexis use Julian to start boozing it up again. Alexis says what she does with her life is none of Ava’s business. Ava asks her what life? and Alexis tells her to get out. Ava says she’s glad Julian’s not there to see what happened with his sacrifice; she’s not longer worth saving. Alexis guzzles some vodka, and Ava walks out.

Laura makes a phone call. She says that she thinks she knows how Nelle might prove useful.

Carly walks into Sonny’s house. He says he doesn’t like the way they left things, and she says she didn’t either. Sonny’s phone rings. It’s a real landline with a curly phone cord. He says he didn’t want to be interrupted, and then says send her up. I guess it’s literally the house phone.

Jason goes back home, and Sam tells him that he just missed Carly. Sam is worried about her. Jason says he was dropping Jake’s glove off. Something is wrong with Jake, and he doesn’t know what to do.

Franco tells Elizabeth that Jason will have to deal with Jake’s problem, whether he likes it or not. She’s afraid he’ll demand a new custody arrangement. She feels like she has to play along, and Franco asks what that means. Is she breaking up with him? She says no, but maybe they should hold off on him moving in for the time being. Franco says she’s gotta do what she’s gotta do, and she says that sorting things out with Jake is important. This isn’t what she wants, and Franco says, but it’s for the best. He tells her that if they’re doing this, they’d better get started, and leaves.

Alexis is passed out. Someone jiggles the door knob. She stumbles around and opens the door, thinking it’s Julian, but there’s no one there.

Ava comes back to the MetroCourt and sees Scotty sitting by himself. He says their business concluded early, and Lucy left, probably hungry. Ava asks if he got the pills, and he tells her to save the applause. There’s a problem.

Lucy is at Sonny’s door. He says that Max told him it’s something important. Lucy says she’s waited long enough and can’t wait another minute. She has the pill bottle in her hand.

Tomorrow, Tracy asks Ava for help, Valentin says he’s ready to make good on his promise to Alexis, and  Laura tells Lulu that Nelle could be the answer.

Vanderpump Rules

It’s wedding time! Harrison! Dog whose name I don’t know! Lisa takes her place at the podium, and the attendants begin to walk down the aisle. Butter and Gordo! Where’s Giggy? Omg, I love Katie’s vintage brooch bouquet so much. I’m coming very close to buying one for myself. They’re not as expensive as you might think on Etsy. In his interview, Tom says he knew Katie would look good, but didn’t know she’d look this good.

Lisa starts by saying she’s been married over thirty years, so she has some advice – run. She gives the couple a list of do’s and don’ts, including not texting while on tequila. Schwartz says his vows, at first pretending that he forgot them. He says he was resigned to being LA’s most ineligible bachelor until Katie came along. In her interview, Kristen talks about how obsessed he was with Katie. Schwartz says he can’t imagine not waking up next to her in the morning. He talks about having to tear the relationship down to rebuild it, and says he’s never loved her more. He gets all teary, and no surprise, Tom does too, wiping his eyes on poor Butter’s head. Or maybe it’s Gordo.

Katie talks about the love, laughter, and tears, and how they persevered. She can’t wait to spend her life with Schwartz. Jax insists he’s not crying, but he is. The rings are exchanged, and we flash back to the ring on a string. In her interview, Katie says this is the real deal – her happy ending. Lisa asks if they take each other for richer or richer. (Not a typo.) They say their “I do’s,” and Lisa pronounces them husband and wife. Katie says they’re married AF.

The reception begins. In her interview, Lisa says this group has a way of working things out that makes no sense to her, but makes sense to them. The Schwartzes arrive. In her interview, Stassi says everyone thought that she and Jax were the glue that held the group together, but it’s really Katie and Schwartz; she and Jax were just the glue everybody sniffed. Ha-ha! She cracks me up. Carter tells Kristen that he likes when she’s drunk and has wedding fever. In her interview, Kristen asks who doesn’t think about getting married when they’re at someone else’s wedding. That would be me. Dinner is served, and Stassi makes Lisa a plate, since she’s used to serving her. Giggy!

Lisa asks Tom about marrying Ariana. He wants to, but says he’s never made an attempt at proposing. Lisa says she was like Ariana when she was younger, not wanting to get married or have kids, but things change, and it was the best thing that she ever did. She talks to Tom about partnering up for a new restaurant. In his interview, Tom’s head explodes over Lisa thinking of him as a potential business partner.

Schwartz’s brother Billy takes the mic. Nothing to see here. Brother Bert thanks Jax and Tom for getting them to the wedding. Billy takes the mic again. Still nothing to see here. Tom talks about Schwartz rubbing him the wrong way – said no one ever. He goes on about how wonderful Schwartz is. Stassi talks about them taking care of her a million times, and reminds me of a couple I was friends with in my single days, who talked me down many a time. In her interview, Katie says the wedding wouldn’t have felt complete without Stassi.

Time to drink and dance. Jax and Brittany step away from the crowd. Jax says he doesn’t think things are going well for them anymore. Because he’s the biggest idiot on the planet. Next to Lulu on GH. He says he loves her as a person, and then tells her that he’s kidding, . Because he’s still the biggest idiot on the planet. In her interview, Brittany says he was thisclose to having his weenie fed to the chickens. He says a wedding is going to happen; he just doesn’t know when. In his interview, he says she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to him, and when the times comes, she’ll be the one. He wants her to know there’s light at the end of the tunnel, but IMO that’s debatable.

Lisa asks Katie when she’s having children. Good Lord, give her a minute. Scheana suggests that Ariana have a reception without actually getting married. At the bar, various guests toast to Katie and Schwartz. Tom tells Ariana about Lisa’s proposition. He says he’s been a bartender for ten years, and has always wanted to open his own place. He points out how happy and supportive Ken and Lisa are as a couple, and says he looks at Ariana the same way. In his interview, he says he’d love to be a dad someday. He tells Ariana not to worry, he’s not going to propose, but wonders if someday they’ll get married. In her interview, she says she loves him, but doesn’t know if marriage is something she wants. She’s not going to shoot him down yet though.

The cake is cut. Schwartz puts icing on Katie’s nose. Thank God they didn’t do that smushing the cake in each other’s faces thing. I hate that, and once saw a bride run to the bathroom in tears after the jackass she married did that to her. Although overall, it was the worst wedding I ever attended. Her father officiated, and forgot what state the wedding was in during his speech. That wouldn’t have been so bad, but looking back, I was sure it was a sign. The room was adjacent to a bar where there was a football game on TV, so every time the people at the bar made noise, we heard it. Because there was no music to drown it out. And it was a cash bar. Not even one “free” drink. And the wine was served in what I would call a juice glass, aka tiny. It was also the day after Christmas. I’ll stop now, since I’m getting the shakes just thinking about it. Scheana has barely seen Shay since the ceremony, and wonders what’s up. Lisa talks to Tom about Schwartz being “the face” of the new bar. She says he’d do a great job as a front man, and Tom could deal with what she does. She thinks they should call it Tom Tom, but doesn’t know if that will be a good idea when she’s sober. Schwartz joins them, and Lisa tells him about the new property, and how she and Ken want Tom to be involved, as well as for him to be the face.

Commercial break with important information. Southern Charm starts again next Monday, April 3.

Schwartz asks if Lisa is serious. He’s concerned that if it fails, it will be on them. In his interview, Tom says one whiff of responsibility and Schwartz runs. Lisa says almost the same thing, that he’s allergic to commitment. Since he already made a big one today, she says she’ll talk to him on Monday. Tom asks if Schwartz is busy in three months, and if not, why not open up a new bar with Lisa Vanderpump? Schwartz says he realizes that he’s over-thinking it, and Tom agrees.

Stassi asks if Ariana still thinks she’s annoying. In her interview, Stassi says she likes Ariana (why, I’m not sure), and it hurts her feelings when Ariana is mean to her. She asks Ariana if she’s closing herself off. In her interview, Ariana says she doesn’t have to be friends with Stassi. She tells Stassi that she’s doing the best that she can. She suddenly starts crying, saying she’s trying not to be a 30 year old bartender who’s doing nothing. Stassi says that’s not who she is, and that she shouldn’t feel sad about feeling sad. It’s okay to have emotions. Stassi tells her that nobody is great all the time, and you’re not a human being if you’re not sad sometimes. They manage to connect somewhat, and in her interview, Ariana has to admit that Stassi isn’t a monster.

More dancing! And Tom has another surprise. He’s brought his trumpet. Oh, yay, drunk trumpet playing. The sax player asks Tom not to play in his ear. Everyone is all happy and buzzed, and Shay finally shows up. Schwartz says that Jax and Tom are like family. He’d take a bullet for them. Maybe in the leg. Stassi wonders what it’s like to have someone love you that much. Katie says it’s amazing, and there’s someone out there for her. The Three Stooges Jax, Tom, and Schwartz talk about what great friends they are. Geez, without Kristen putting the boxing gloves on, weddings are pretty boring in La La Land. Kristen does announce that she’s not ovulating though.

Giggy and Harrison! Lisa signs the marriage certificate. Schwartz says it’s official now, and Lisa tells them, off you go. Katie says they’re very committed, and it would be way too easy to make a joke here. Lisa says thank God it’s over, and Ken gives her props for her officiating.

Three months later. Scheana gets together with Lisa at Villa Rosa. Scheana tells her that she’s found out some things about Shay recently. He goes MIA and doesn’t answer her calls. She says he hasn’t been at the apartment once in two weeks. Everything is not rainbows and sunshine like she’s been telling people. He’s with his parents, and Lisa says it’s been bullsh*t since she found out about Shay taking pills. In her interview, Lisa says she thinks Scheana knew in her gut that there was a problem, but didn’t want to admit it. Scheana tells Lisa that Shay has been taking Adderall for months. One of her friends had pulled her aside and let her know he’d been scoring pills, but saying he was just the middleman. She started checking his emails, and discovered that the bank account had been cleaned out. She says she can’t picture her life without him, but can’t picture it moving forward. Lisa asks if they connect at all, even in bed, and Scheana shakes her head. Lisa tells her that she’s young enough to start again. Scheana says they were talking about starting a family, but Lisa says you can’t start a family with someone who isn’t there. Scheana is going to meet with a lawyer because she’s done. She wants Shay to be able to look her in the eye and say he’s not doing drugs.

Scheana waits for Shay at the apartment. He asks what’s up, and she notices he’s gotten his ears pierced. She wants to know why he didn’t come home. He says that he wanted to figure some things out, not involving anyone else. He says he loves her, but she doesn’t listen, and now he got her attention. He wants to be happy, but can’t do it without her. She says the relationship isn’t good, and he says he’s been labeled a druggie, and no one treats him with respect. She asks if he’s on drugs, and he tells her no. He complains that she doesn’t treat him with respect either. She tells him that she talked to Lisa, and he says he has his own mother, and that Lisa should talk to her own kids. He says Scheana isn’t taking care of him the way she should, but she says he’s never home. He talks about the studio, and how productive things are there, and she wonders how they’re up all night without drugs. She asks about the bank account, and he insists he’s just buying music stuff. In her interview, she says she may never know the truth, but this isn’t the man she married. She tells him this really needs to be done, and she’s meeting with a lawyer. She says divorce isn’t easy, and wasn’t what she wanted. They both start crying, and she says he knows she’s right. He nods, and she tells him to get his stuff. In her interview, she says she’d planned on spending the rest of her life with him, growing old and having kids with him, and all she knows is that they’re done. Shay packs. The door closes behind him. This is really kind of sad.

Next time, the reunion, and the return of Lala. Godzilla with a cat eye.

🎉 And at another wedding on New Year’s Eve, 2010…

Giggy&amp;GrandmaWrinkles

March 21, 2017 – Finn Makes a Decision, Wrong Loving is Back & More Hong Kong Hijinks

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Obrecht complains about Finn’s leave of absence. She asks Hayden what the reason is.

Tracy calls out for Finn. No answer. She starts to call security, and then says never min. Finn walks in with a bottle of wine, and asks what she’s doing there. She says she has a better question – how much Zen Zen did he shoot tonight?

Michael and Dante talk about Olivia-J, and Michael thanks him for hunting her down. Dante says Carly and Sonny had her at gunpoint when he got there, but must have realized killing her would only make things worse for their family. Michael says they got justice for Morgan, and now have to face what’s left of their lives.

Bobbie asks Carly if she ever returns texts. Carly apologizes for forgetting they were supposed to meet. She went to see Jason and the baby, and also saw Sonny. She tells Bobbie they kissed, and Bobbie asks if they’re reconciling. Carly says they’re the only ones who understand one another, but that doesn’t mean they should be together. Bobbie brings up Nelle sleeping with Sonny, but Carly is more concerned about the lies and that he left them wide open to Nelle’s machinations.

Nelle explains to Nina that she had to put her teaching degree on hold due to finances, but she was working as a teacher’s aide.

Valentin tells Anna that she’s interfering with the happiness and future of his family, and if she doesn’t back off he’ll remove her. She takes this as a threat, and he says he means he’ll remove her presence from his life. He says if warring nations can call a truce, they can too. She says he sounds reasonable, but that’s one of his talents, presenting something outrageous and making it sound rational. She says peace and ignorance are two different things. She wants the truth and won’t stop until she gets it.

Nina is amazed at Nelle’s experience, but says being a nanny is different. Nelle says it is, but you still need the same skills, and she can also provide tutorial help. Nina asks why she quit so abruptly. Nelle says she didn’t exactly quit, and Nina asks why she was fired.

Michael tells Dante about Sonny’s lying. Dante asks what’s up with Michael. Michael says he’s focused on getting Josslyn through it, but Dante is talking about Nelle. Michael tells him that a lot of people got hurt, but he’s the least of the damage.

Bobbie tells Carly that they always end up together again. Maybe there’s a reason, or maybe it’s the tipping point; time will tell. Carly thinks maybe she deserves it, but Bobbie says it’s Nelle’s fault. Carly says she keeps trying to make sense of everything and find something real, and all she can come up with Is that she’s a hypocrite. She wonders if it’s karma and payback for what she did to Bobbie.

Valentin calls Anna’s memory loss a pretense and a mind game. Anna says why she would do that. She says they have a past, but he goes out of his way not to talk about it. Just tell her what she needs to know and they’ll be done with it. He says he almost believes her, and to ask him anything. She asks why she put out a kill order against him.

Tracy asks if Finn is ignoring the question. He says she ignored his, and asks again why she’s there. She asks if he took Zen Zen, and he asks if it looks like it. She asks about the mess, and he tells her that it was the last of his supply and he fumbled it away. She says maybe he saved his own life. She asks for drink, and he shoves one at her. She asks when he’s checking into rehab, and he says no room at the inn. Tracy offers to pull some strings, but he says he’s changed his mind. He’s not a group therapy kind of guy, and needs to do it alone on his terms. Tracy calls him asinine.

Elizabeth tells Obrecht that Finn is working on an article about his cure a prestigious medical journal. Obrecht says it didn’t take long for his ego to kick in. Elizabeth says when he comes back, maybe he’ll be a better doctor, and Obrecht says that by this time next year he’ll probably be on a book tour. Obrecht leaves, and Hayden thanks Elizabeth. Elizabeth says she’s there if Hayden needs her.

Anna tells Valentin that a kill order was issued in her name, and he owes her the truth. Valentin gets angry, saying he owes her nothing. He could have pressed charges or left her for dead, but didn’t. He just wants to forget her. She says she would never have done something like that unless he flipped, and asks if he was working for the DVX.

Nina says Nelle seems capable, but she doesn’t want to get in the middle of a disagreement between Nelle and Carly. Nelle understands. Charlotte shows them her puzzle and thanks Nelle for helping her. Nelle starts to leave and thanks Nina for the dress. Nina tells her wait. She says obviously Charlotte loves her, and she would be an asset for her starting school, so let’s do an interview. She’ll need to know whoever takes care of Charlotte on a personal level, and Nelle asks what she has in mind.

Bobbie tells Carly they put all that to rest years ago. Carly says she never understood how Bobbie must have felt until now. She and Tony were trying to rebuild their marriage, and never got back together. Bobbie says they separated because of what happened, but other things came up and they made wrong choices. He lashed out at the world, and she was trying to make peace. Carly asks if Bobbie is saying that she should forgive Nelle, but Bobbie says that’s different. Nelle isn’t her flesh and blood, and the sooner Carly puts Nelle out of her mind, the better. She tells Carly about Nelle having been at the MetroCourt earlier, and how she told her to get out before she called security to put her out. Carly says looks like security might get a second chance, as Nelle steps out of the elevator.

Elizabeth finds Hayden in her office. She wants to explain why she intervened. She didn’t want Hayden to be blindsided. She says that she knows it not easy, and Hayden knows where to find her if she needs anything. Hayden asks her to stay.

Tracy asks Finn why he thinks he can just quit. He says since he’s been cured of the disease, he’s better able to quit. She says it doesn’t look like it, since it’s been weeks already. Finn says he doesn’t want to be in a program that will box him in; he’ll lose his mind and be back where he started. Tracy asks if the plan is to drink himself into a stupor for 28 days, and he thinks that sounds good. He asks her to leave him alone and says she can’t help him. Tracy says Hayden can. Finn doesn’t want her to see him like this, but Tracy says she loves him, and to let her in or let somebody in. He says she’s the last person who should be giving relationship advice.

Michael tells Dante that he can sidestep a hostile takeover, but didn’t see Nelle coming. He should have known better and was too trusting. Dante says what’s the solution, being a cynic and building walls? Michael says he doesn’t know how to feel. Nelle said she wanted a fresh start, and for a moment, he wanted to believe her. Dante asks if he does, and Michael says it doesn’t matter. She did what she did, and everyone is hurting

Bobbie tells Carly that she’s going to take out the trash. Nelle says she doesn’t want any trouble. Nina pops out with Charlotte, saying there’s a child present. Carly says she’ll be glad to tell her why Nelle was terminated, but it’s not for little ears. Nelle takes Charlotte aside. Nina says she doesn’t know what’s going on, but she needs a nanny. Carly says hiring Nelle will be the worst mistake she’s ever made.

Valentin asks if Anna’s selective memory allows her to remember that she was a double agent. She can project that he’s responsible, but it’s really on her. She asks if something as insignificant as a rebuffed kiss made him sell out, and he says she’s either lying about the cruelest thing she ever did, or she’s blocking it out. She says he’s the liar with a charming exterior. He tells her that she’s bleeding.

Carly tells Nina that she fired Nelle because she slept with her husband. Her real name is Benson, and all the time she spent making herself indispensable, she was setting Carly up because of a grudge. Nina says sorry, but Charlotte loves her. Carly says so did Josslyn. Bobbie says Lulu isn’t going to have it, and Nina says she doesn’t care about Lulu’s opinion. Bobbie says Lulu is Charlotte’s mother, and if Nina doesn’t care enough to protect Charlotte from Nelle, she will. Nelle tells Nina to forget about the interview, and Nina says she’s hired.

Hayden tells Elizabeth that she knows Finn has challenges ahead and she’s been a classic enabler. Elizabeth says she loves him, and Hayden says she even used that, but no matter what she said or did, he refused to get help and pushed her away. She says he didn’t want her support, and said he had to deal with it alone, so she let him go, but hasn’t seen him since. Elizabeth says she thought it was up to her to get Lucky to see the light, but it wasn’t; his father got through to him. Hayden says Finn has no one else, and Elizabeth says you never know who will get through. She has to make peace with the fact that person may not be her.

Finn asks what Tracy’s marriage track record is. She doesn’t see what that has to do with it. He says she has a family business that she keeps chasing, although they keep firing her. He lists her faults, concluding with there’s no mark like rich lonely woman who didn’t get over daddy issues. She throws her wine in his face.

Finn apologizes for going too far, and says that he was just trying to push her away. He didn’t mean what he said. Tracy says he did, and most of it is true. She says her circle is limited. She never took much stock in friendships, and thought going it alone was the way to go, but alone is alone. Stephen Sondheim also pointed this out in Being Alive. Tracy says that most of her family is gone. The number of Christmas cards has diminished, and when she lies in bed at night, she wonders what her life would have been like had she let more people in. She asks if that’s what he wants.

Michael asks Dante how he could ever trust Nelle. She succeeded in breaking up their home. Dante says in playing devil’s advocate, he’s seen Michael sacrifice his own needs for the needs of his family over and over. If he decides to kick Nelle to the curb, do it for himself and no one else.

Bobbie is like, wait until Lulu hears. Nina tells Nelle that she’s Charlotte’s nanny provisionally. One lie or slip-up, and she’s out. She suggests taking Charlotte for hot chocolate, and of course she’ll have to meet Valentin. Nelle takes Charlotte out, and Bobbie says if Nina did this to spite her, the joke is on her. If Nelle ends up in bed with Valentin, she only has herself to blame. Carly tells Nina that when you lose your temper, it doesn’t make for the best decisions. Nina says she hired Nelle because she has an applicable background, and Charlotte loves her. Given the chance, people can change. Nina points out that hit happened with her and Carly. Carly says she was able to rebuild her life because someone gave her the benefit of the doubt. Nina says maybe someone should do the same for Nelle. Carly tells her that maybe she’s right, but maybe not, and to watch her back. What bugs me about Bobbie is that she’s so self-righteous and has no reason to be. She seemed gleeful coming at Nina, and I’m not liking that.At least Carly thinks about things.

Anna tells Valentin it’s just a cut, and Valentin says just a cut doesn’t bleed like that. Anna says it does if you’re on blood thinners, and tells him that she has cancer. She says it’s treatable, but not curable, and he asks if she’s up for challenge. She begs him to just tell her the truth. He says no, and starts to leave. She stops him, and he tells her that if she wants peace of mind, to forget they were ever in each other’s lives. On the porch, he’s obviously disturbed by the news.

Anna makes a phone call, saying she knows this is the last person they expected to hear from, but she has something important to talk about. For a moment, I wonder if she’s talking to Faison, but then I remember he’s on the lam and no one knows where he is.

Finn tells Tracy that he’d ask forgiveness, but he doesn’t deserve it. Tracy says being alone seems like a good idea, but it’s really sad. He has a woman who loves him and wants to share his struggles as well as his victories. The choice is his. She leaves ,and he picks up the phone.

Hayden thanks Elizabeth for listening and for the advice. She doesn’t want to hug though. Ha-ha! Elizabeth leaves, and Hayden’s phone rings. It’s Finn. He says he was wrong, and can’t do it alone. He needs her help.

Nina tells Valentin about Mrs. Evans’ sister, and says she quit abruptly. She says perfect candidate walked in, but if she catches her near his bed, she’ll strangle her.

Bobbie moans that first Lulu loses Charlotte to Valentin, and now Nelle is her nanny. Carly says the bright side is that with Nelle holed up on Spoon Island, she’ll be far away from their family.

Nelle and Charlotte go into Kelly’s. Nelle locks eyes with Michael.

Valentin asks Nina what he should know, and Nina says she’ll explain it later. She asks where he was, and he tells her that he was with Anna. He went to tell her that he wants to put history to rest, and offered a truce for the sake of his family. He meant what he said; she and Charlotte are all that matters, and the past where it belongs – in the past.

Obrecht comes into Anna’s house, saying she doesn’t really do house calls. Anna says she doesn’t need treatment; she needs answers.

Tomorrow, Laura wonders if Doc agrees with Andre, Obrecht thinks Anna must be hard up to ask her for help, and Nelle asks if Michael forgives her.

If Loving You is Wrong

When we left, there was a shootout at Rusty’s place, and Virginia was dangling the baby over the water where the gators live. She drops him into the water, and one of the cops shoots her. Lushion grabs Alex, and a bunch of guys go in to save the baby. As usual, Eddie acts like an a-hole, and Steven tells him to back off. Randal gets in his face, and he says Randal would be swinging from a tree if it wasn’t for him. Randal runs to the water.

Steven calls for an ambulance while Alex freaks out. Brad brings the baby to shore, and Lushion does baby CPR. The baby starts to cry, and even Steven looks happy. He has Alex warm the baby in a jacket. She thanks him.

Eddie grabs Brad and asks what’s wrong with him. He could have gotten rid of that thing. He says it’s no time to get soft, but Brad walks away from him. Alex goes with Steven to take the baby to the ambulance, while Randal harasses her the whole way. She gives the baby to an EMT. She says only one of them can go along, but they both want to go. Lushion is about to take Randal away, when the EMT tells them it’s okay.

Lushion says the FBI guys have the clean-up; it’s out of his jurisdiction. Eddie accuses him of being undercover FBI. Lushion tells him the drugs are making him paranoid. Eddie says that every time Lushion is around, the FBI shows up. He wants to know how that happens. He says he smells undercover all over him. Lushion says he thought the same thing about Eddie, but knows Eddie isn’t FBI material. Lushion tells him get out of his face. Eddie questions him about Claudia. Lusion asks how he got there, and Eddie says Steven asked him to back up Andrew, but he hasn’t seen him. He says he showed up at the crime scene, but there was no Andrew, and if he hadn’t shown up there, there would have been two more victims. Lushion gets loud, saying if he was FBI, he’d be checking the woods and lake for a missing officer. Eddie says that Lushion thinks he’s slick. Lushion says Eddie isn’t good enough to be FBI, but if he was Eddie he’d watch himself and make sure his tracks are covered. Eddie says he’s watching everything. Lesion says he’s always been right behind Eddie, watching. And I’m watching these two watching.

Lushion calls Steven over, saying they’ve already lost two officers, Pete and Andrew. Steven says he’s working on a whole cartel. Lushion wants to take Eddie down, but Steven says he’s getting a lot of heat about the cartel. He wants Eddie too, but they can’t blow this now. Lushion has to trust him.

At the station, Esperanza asks if the 911 operator has heard from the officers who went out, but she hasn’t. Kelly calls about Ramses. She says something happened at his house. She asks if Esperanza knows an officer named Rick, and tells her that he’s there now. She explains that he came after Travis harassed her, and Travis said something about Ramsey not coming back. She called Lushion about a restraining order, and he sent Rick. Rick went into Ramsey’s house and hasn’t told her what’s going on. Esperanza wonders why Kelly keeps involving herself in crazy stuff. Well, that’s because she’s a character in a Tyler Perry show. Esperanza can’t make any promises, but she’s on her way. Marcie is with Kelly, but Esperanza has no information on Brad either.

The EMT asks what happened. Alex says Virginia got what was coming to her, and Randal says yeah, a bullet between the eyes. The crazy bitch who did this burns in hell now. Randal tries to talk to Alex, but she isn’t having it. He wants to go to the hospital in Maxine, but the EMT says it’s three hours. He asks if it’s safe enough to go that far, and that he’ll be cutting it close. He has a court date and it’s important. What an a-hole! I hate Randal so much.

Alex can’t believe it. Randal says if his mother isn’t up and walking around, he promises her she doesn’t know what hell is. Alex says that she heard something and went to check the house, and Louise was unconscious. He asks if that’s the story she’s practicing, and Alex says that’s what she saw. He asks if she even called the cops. She doesn’t say anything, and he says he guesses that’s fair. He goes on about Alex letting everything bad in the world happen.

Joey opens his eyes. He tells his mother she should go home. Natalie asks how he feels, and he says not good. She tells him that he got shot, and he asks what happened to Quan. She says he’s dead, and Joey asks if he killed him. She says yes, and he tells her that he just wanted Quan to leave him alone. Natalie says he would have killed Joey. Joey starts to cry, and Natalie tells him not to stress himself; he’s alive. The doctors said he might not make it and wanted her to donate his organs. He says he doesn’t want to die, and she says he won’t. He says he’s in a lot of pain, but she tells him that’s to be expected. He tells her how sorry he is, and she says that when he gets out, she’ll kick his ass.

Joey asks about Faun, but Natalie doesn’t know. He asks if she got shot, and Natalie tells him that she did. He cries some more, and asks if she’s all right. Natalie says she’s been with him and doesn’t know. He says he needs to know how she is, and asks Natalie to find out.

In the hallway, Tilda asks Natalie if Joey killed her son. She says Quan didn’t shoot Joey, and she had to identify his body. Natalie says sorry, but Tilda says she doesn’t know what sorry is. She says Joey won’t live long – if he makes it. Natalie says if harm comes to Joey, she’ll die defending his ass. She says Tilda forgot who she is and to get out of her face. Tilda says that Natalie’s broke ass can’t say anything. Natalie asks how much she has, and Tilda says millions. Natalie says she earned it on her back and knees better than on feet in burger joint. Natalie tells her that her mother would be disgusted. Tilda says that Natalie thinks she knows her, and Natalie says she doesn’t, but she clearly doesn’t know herself. Tilda tells Natalie that she’ll be back, and Natalie tells Tilda not to threaten her. Tilda says if she has to identify her son’s body, so will Natalie. An eye for an eye. They almost tussle, but Lushion steps in.

Lushion asks what the hell that was about. Natalie says nothing she can’t handle. Lushion says he can’t leave her for a second, and asks about Joey. Natalie says he’s awake, and she was about to call Jackie because he wanted to know what happened to Faun. Natalie asks about Alex, Randal and the baby. Lushion tells her that they’re all fine, and goes into Joey’s room.

Lushion asks how Joey is feeling, and Joey says not good. Lushion says he knows the feeling. Joey says he killed Quan, and Lushion says he knows. Joey says he killed his best friend and didn’t mean to, and starts to cry. Lushion says it’s okay. Joey asks about Faun, and Lushion says Natalie is checking on her. Joey can’t believe any of this, and Lushion says what happened, happened, but the most important thing is that he’s okay. Joey asks why him. Lushion says sometimes things just happen; you have enemies you don’t even know about. He says Joey is a good kid, and he wouldn’t have shot Quan if he hadn’t come at him. Joey says he was just trying to protect Faun. He knew she should have had all that money with her, and explains that she made the deposits for the restaurant. Lushion asks if he knew they were trying to rob her, and says that if Joey hadn’t had the gun, things could have turned out differently. Quan was waiting for her. He tells Joey not to beat himself up about it. Joey says he keeps seeing Quan’s face, and Lushion says it will get better. Joey says he violated probation, and he’s going to jail now, but Lushion says they’ll take care of it later. Just rest.

The doctor tells Randal and Alex that the baby is okay. Randal wants to see his son, but Alex wants him to go home. The doctor says it’s not a good time, but she’ll keep them updated. Alex tells Randal that her parents are dead. He says they ruined her ass. He asks if she really doesn’t love him anymore, and I laugh. Boy, talk about not being able to get a hint. Alex says he really doesn’t get it? and he says he does. He says she played the only card she had, and now it’s his turn. He’s calling his lawyer right now, and taking “RJ.” He gets loud, saying that she set this up, and she can’t be a good mother from prison. She gets in his face and says she’ll never give him her child. He says that’s okay, the courts will, once she’s in jail. If looks could kill the both of them would be dead. They wait. Randal gets all smug looking. I always want to wipe that look off of his face.

Back in Maxine, Esperanza sees Officer Rick. She asks what’s going on, and he says he can’t talk about it. She asks if he always does everything by the book, and just tell her, but he’s not budging. She asks where Steven is, and says she can’t get ahold of anybody. She asks if he can tell her anything, but he says sorry. She wants to take a look at the scene and he says as long as it’s behind the tape. She goes inside Alex’s house

She tells Kelly she doesn’t know what’s going on. Marcie asks about Brad, but all she knows is that there are officers at the scene. Marcie wants to go there, saying that it’s taking too long. Esperanza says she should be resting – they all should be resting. Esperanza says she’ll wake the kids for school, and promises that someone will call her when there’s news.

Kelly looks out the window and gets upset. She says the coroner is out there. She starts crying, and says she can’t do this. Marcie goes outside. Kelly follows.

Marcie introduces herself to Officer Rick, and Kelly asks him what’s going on. He says there’s been a homicide. She asks if it’s Ramsey, and he tells her that they haven’t identified the body. He suggests she come to the station, but Kelly says she has to deal with getting the kids to school and her work day. Rick asks her to come after work. She’s verging on hysteria, saying no, no, no. He shows her a picture, and asks if that’s him. She says yes, and Rick tells her that he’s sorry, Ramsey is dead. Kelly weeps, saying too bad she liked him.

Next time, Travis confronts Kelly at the station, Randal looks for his mother, and Steven asks Eddie where Andrew is.

🙉 I swear to you, they claimed there would be a new episode of Too Close to Home afterward, but it was an old episode of Greenleaf. A show I’d love to watch, but don’t have the time for. This was just as well, as I love Imposters, and was able to catch this week’s episode on the first airing. Every week, it’s like a new layer to the intrigue gets added.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Erika wonders why Dorit would even bring up the pill thing if she didn’t think it was part of LisaR’s behavior. Dorit says that Erika is interrupting, and Erika says she talks too much. Dorit says Erika doesn’t talk enough, and Erika says she talks important sh*t, while Dorit talks boring sh*t, and too much of it. Dorit asks what Erika’s problem is with her, and at first, Erika lies and says she doesn’t have one. Then she says her problem is that Dorit is full of it, and she has no tolerance for BS. Dorit asks why Erika didn’t just say so, and Erika says she just did.

Erika says Dorit needs validation and is desperate for her attention. Dorit says that Erika isn’t even nice, so why would she want her attention? Erika says that Dorit doesn’t know her, and Dorit says she’s just giving her opinion. Erika asks if Dorit thinks she’s going to like her after everything that happened with the underwear. In her interview, Dorit says she thought they were past that, and we flash back to the both of them saying they’re done with Pantygate. Erika says she took something innocent and made it seem like Erika did it on purpose to get PK’s attention. In her interview, Dorit says she’s done nothing to Erika. Dorit says she never claimed that Erika did it on purpose, and LisaR – who can’t stand not putting in her two cents anymore – says that she did. Dorit says giving Erika the underwear was for a laugh, and she laughed. In her interview, LisaV says that Dorit wanted to bring levity to the situation. Dorit says she’s sorry, and Erika says it did hurt her feelings. She has them whether Dorit believes it or not. Erika says there’s truth in joking, and although Dorit thinks she’s cold, she agrees. She says she certainly doesn’t vie for Erika’s attention, and Erika says don’t talk to her at all then. Because we’re in middle school. LisaR says that Dorit should apologize for her husband looking, and Dorit says he’s a male. In her interview, Eileen says she wouldn’t expect Vincent to ever stare. Who knows unless confronted with the situation? Dorit tells LisaR to get out of her face, and Lisa says f-u. Dorit says she’s sorry everyone made such a big deal, and those participating in the argument throw up their hands. Dorit is like what do you want? LisaV interjects that she thought it was a joke. In her interview, Lisa says it’s a bit of a pile on, and if they felt that way should have said so at the time. LVP, always the voice of reason. Dorit says she wasn’t out to hurt Erika’s feelings, and Erika says, but you did Blanche! In her interview, Erika says what she doesn’t like is BS, and that’s what this is. She says Dorit is out to defame her. Honestly, I wouldn’t go that far.

They dock and Erika has a moment. She tells LisaV that she’s okay, and Lisa tells her that she doesn’t have to be. In her interview, LisaV says she doesn’t quite understand It, but the ice queen seems to be melting. Erika dries her tears. Kyle says there’s a lot going on because Erika doesn’t take crying lightly and doesn’t do it often. Erika takes a car back with LisaR, Eileen and Eden. The girls tell Erika how pretty she looks when she cries. Eileen seems to think acknowledgement of hurt feelings would have helped, ubt Erika says she’d have to mean it. Well, yeah.

Dorit says Erika has a glam squad who follows her and it’s gone to her head. She, LisaV, and Kyle are walking back. Lisa doesn’t get what the wall is for, and Kyle says it’s the way Erika was raised. Kyle sees Chanel and angels sing.

Back at the hotel. Erika apologizes, and the others are like, don’t do that. I agree, even though I’m not totally on her side. No one should every apologize for crying. Erika thanks Eileen for being supportive. She makes a joke about crying. Then they joke about being on vacation.

Dorit calls PK and asks about the kids. She says she’s dying, being away from them and PK. She tells PK that Hong Kong has proven to be a confessional, and tells him about the boat trip. She says that Erika thinks she’s desperate for her friendship, and PK laughs. He thinks Erika must be delusional. Dorit says that Erika has been holding resentment since Pantygate.

The girls meet for breakfast. Erika makes a point of ignoring Dorit. They’re going to see the giant Buddha. Erika says it’s 245 steps, and they’ll get in their cardio. In her interview, LisaR says Dorit is being a downer…like this one, and holds up a pill. BA-DUM-CHH! LisaV is hoping it will be a calming, spiritual experience. Fat chance with this group. Splitting into two groups again, they get in some sky cars that have clear bottoms. Cool! Kyle won’t look, Dorit keeps picking her feet up and squeaking. LisaV wants to rock the car, reminding me of my trip to Roosevelt Island with an old boyfriend, who also thought that would be amusing to do on the tram. The other car is totally calm. They see the Buddha on top of the mountain, and it’s breathtaking.

That is a lot of steps. It’s raining, and I’m guessing they were given ponchos and umbrellas, because they all look the same. Erika is depressed that her shoes are ruined. They spy a cow, and of course LisaV has to check him out. Kyle takes pictures.

At the Buddha place, there’s a fire where you light these long, thin tapers and say a prayer. Eileen says that her expectations have grown smaller. Where once she would have prayed for world peace, not she’s just wants Hong Kong peace among the chicks. Kyle checks in on Mauricio, who is having his eyebrows brushed by Portia. The trek is made up the steps. Kyle thinks it has to have some impact on these women. It’s huge. What a beautiful place.

Dorit has brought her makeup artist, which is funny considering what she said about Erika. She’s rocking a Madonna Blond Ambition ponytail. She talks about how Erika and lisaR weren’t talking to her at the Buddha, and feeling like she was among mean girls. Erika says she’s channeling Samurai Barbie, and Eileen looks like a glamourous babe from an old vampire movie. All in black,  form-fitting black cocktail dress with a black choker, red lipstick, pale, and hair like Veronica Lake. LisaR says it’s bad luck to toast with water, and it’s downhill from here.

Eden feels like there’s an elephant at the table, and LisaR asks if Dorit apologized. LisaV says that’s between them, and Erika says she hasn’t apologized. She tells LisaV not to minimize her feelings. In her interview, Lisa says if she laughed it off to begin with, none of this would have happened. Dorit asks what she was supposed to do, and Erika says shut her mouth or bring it to her privately. Dorit says she doesn’t remember insinuating anything. In her interview, LisaR doesn’t believe her, although she makes sure to tell us that when it’s herself, she really doesn’t remember. LisaR asks if Dorit trusts her husband. Dorit says implicitly, but Lisa insists she was threatened by Erika. Kyle is shocked. She can’t believe Lisa is talking about Dorit’s husband when they just got through how mistaken she was about Kim. She also mentions how crazy Lisa got when Kim suggested they talk about Lisa’s husband when they were in Holland.

Commercial break. The jury is in for Sweet Home Oklahoma. I like it.

LisaR tells Kyle to shut up, and says Dorit was threatened by Erika flashing. Erika wonders why there’s no deference to her, since she’s married too, and she doesn’t need a reputation. LisaR says it’s deeper than this, because she’s a clinical psychologist. She asks what was really going on; she wants to know what happened. Erika says she was made out to be a whore, or whatever adjective you want to use, but she’s the one who has to live with it. Dorit says that wasn’t her intention, but Erika says that’s the result. In her interview, Erika says she’ll have to explain it to Tom, and people would rather go for the sensationalism. Erika says it’s only funny when it dies in the moment. Maybe it’s me, but I don’t think Dorit is the one who kept it going.

Dorit says she didn’t realize and feels badly. Erika is like, now you thought about it, and tells her to apologize to Tom and then they’ll be square. Dorit says okay, but that’s not good enough, and Erika says she wants Dorit’s husband to apologize to Tom. I’m thinking Tom would either laugh about how ridiculous this is, or not care. Dorit says she can only speak for herself. She’s not going to tell PK what to do. Erika says she would go to her husband and say she did something wrong and needs help fixing it. LisaR tries to insert herself into the dialog, and Dorit tells her she’s trying to have a conversation with Erika. Eileen is practically holding Lisa back and Lisa keeps shouting for them to listen. Dorit tells her please, and Lisa just won’t shut up. Erika says this sucks. Dorit says she’s extremely sorry, and she didn’t mean to hurt Erika’s feelings, she swears on her mother’s life. Eileen says she didn’t mean it maliciously (exactly), and asks what she wants; Dorit didn’t kill her child. Erika gets all crazy about this remark and says to never bring up her kid again. Eileen says it’s just a figure of speech. Erika says Eileen’s kid doesn’t put on a uniform, and to shut the f up. Well.

Erika gets unreasonable and says no one knows what she goes through every night. Her kid isn’t out there, and f-u. Eileen keeps apologizing, and Kyle says it’s like someone took over Erika’s body. Erika keeps repeating don’t talk about her kid, and cries into her napkin. She says never criticize his choice, and bangs on the table. LisaR asks if she wants to leave, but Erika says no. Eileen tries to take a moment to honor Erika’s son, and Erika says she doesn’t want that, and neither does her son. She doesn’t want to talk about it. In her interview, she says Eileen struck a nerve. Apparently so, but Eileen should stop trying to fix it. Everyone tells her that Eileen didn’t mean it, and Erika says no one understands. Eileen says she has the utmost respect for Erika’s son. Quick analysis. Erika is one of those people who expects you to be a mind reader. She doesn’t reveal how she feels about anything, so you’re just supposed to figure it out. And Dorit is just a scatterbrain.

LisaR wants to change the subject, since she’s feeling left out. It’s her last night in Hong Kong, so her last chance to get things out. Because the world is also ending as soon as she leaves. She asks Dorit why she got left alone at the end of some dinner party at Dorit’s house. We see a quick clip of her talking to some guy at an empty table after dinner. Kyle asks what she’s insinuating, and Lisa asks if people were doing coke in Dorit’s bathroom. In her interview, Kyle thinks it doesn’t get much more offensive than this. LisaR seems drunk to me. Just sayin’. I’m also laughing because I doubt an entire table of people got up and crammed into the bathroom to do coke in 2017.

To be continued…

Next time, Dorit refers to her house a coke den, Dorit thinks LisaR acts like two different people, Erika does Young and Restless, and there’s a huge party.

March 20, 2017 – Charlotte Needs a Nanny, the VanderWedding Begins & a Couple of Other Things

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Anna gets a paper cut, which is a big deal if you’re on blood thinners. Andre drops by. He tells her about doing Charlotte’s evaluation.

Valentin, Nina, and Charlotte are having a celebratory meal at the MetroCourt. Valentin tells Charlotte that no one is ever going to take her away from him and Nina. Lulu and Laura walk in.

Tracy tells Hayden that she has good news for once. They got their first payment, and the hospital is on its way to financial solvency. She asks where Finn is, and Hayden says that he’s taken a leave of absence to deal with his addiction.

Finn is on hold with a rehab. He’s looking for an immediate opening. He tells Roxie it’s a wonder anyone gets clean. I can totally agree with this and identify. Several years ago, my alcoholic neighbor, who’d been drinking since he was in fourth grade, finally decided to get sober. I took on the job of calling rehabs, and it took at least a week to find him a spot in one. At the time, I said pretty much the same thing that Finn just did.

Sonny tells Carly that she’s always welcome at his house. She’s kind of testy, and says she’s there to figure out what’s going on between them and what they do next. She says losing Morgan and thinking Sonny killed him was the worst thing that ever happened to her. Finding out Sonny was innocent eased the anger, but the pain of Morgan’s death is still there. She says Nelle is like an ordinary pain – it hurts, but it’s not going to kill you – but losing Morgan was like a bottomless pit, a pain threatening to swallow her. She gets that Nelle used it to get Sonny into bed. Sonny asks if she sees it clearly, why can’t she get past it?

Anna tells Andre about talking to Olivia-J. He asks why put herself through that, and she says maybe she’s looking for closure. She and Duke only got pregnant once, and losing the baby changed the direction of their lives. She says seeing Olivia’s insanity only opened up old wounds, things she thought healed years ago. Andre asks if she got what she was looking for, but Anna says not really. She tells him that Duke never loved Olivia, but she tried to force it, and it doesn’t work that way. Andre agrees, probably thinking about Jordan. Anna asks about the evaluation. Andre explains that Lulu was granted six months of supervised visits and Valentin got full custody.

Nina suggests that she bring Charlotte to the office. She has a basket of treats she hasn’t tested yet. Charlotte gets all excited because she loves Nina’s office.

Lulu points out to Laura that Charlotte is there. Laura tries to focus on the menu. She says they all have to find a way to be in the same room. If Lulu shows anger, it’s going to go against her. On their way out, Valentin and family stop by the table. Laura asks Charlotte how she enjoyed her lunch, and Charlotte can barely respond. Valentin wants to talk to Lulu, but she tells him to leave her the hell alone. Honestly, either she is the stupidest human on the planet, or has absolutely no control whatsoever. Or maybe it’s PMS.

Finn thinks compared to the bureaucracy of getting into rehab, getting clean should be a piece of cake. He tells the rehab that he’s calling on behalf of one of his patients.

Hayden explains to Tracy about Finn going through withdrawal. She realizes she’s never known him when he’s been clean. Every decision that he’s made, including being with her, was when he was under the influence. Tracy asks why she’s not with him, and Hayden tells her that he wanted to do it alone.

Finn explains his own situation, but calls himself “his patient.” He hopes they can find an opening.

Valentin says they can arrange for Lulu to see Charlotte before the court appointed document is filed, so Charlotte can get used to being with her. Lulu balks at the weekly hour that Valentin offers. He says she scared Charlotte the two times they interacted, and he wants to ease her into it. Lulu acts like an idiot, so Laura steps in.

Tracy tells Hayden that of course he wants to do it by himself, but that doesn’t mean she should let him. Wherever he is, she needs to be with him.

Finn packs pretty much like I do, just tossing stuff into a suitcase. He tells Roxie that it’s only temporary, and Josslyn will take good care of her while he’s away. He says he wants to be someone better, and realizes how much time he’s spending chasing the drug. He finds a vial in the suitcase.

Nelle comes to the MetroCourt with a garment bag. Bobbie gets snotty with her, and Nelle says she gets it; she’s not welcome. Bobbie wants to know how she lives with herself, and calls her a bitch.

Sonny tells Carly that he should have caught on. Carly says he was skeptical at the beginning, and he says if something is too good to be true, it is. Don’t we all know it. She says someone with her life experience should have seen Nelle coming a mile away. She asks if Sonny ever really trusted Nelle, or was just going along with it for her? He says he saw how happy Carly was with her, and when Morgan died, the first couple of days he needed help, and she was there. She helped with Avery, and he let his guard down. She showed up on Thanksgiving, and he was alone, drinking. The weird thing is, that he remembers nothing – not kissing Nelle or even wanting to. He just woke up the next morning and she was in his bed. Carly asks how long after that did he decide to keep it a secret? Um…immediately?

Nina gives Charlotte a giant cookie and says they’ll bring the rest back to the house. She gives Charlotte some coloring/puzzle books. Valentin says that Mrs. Evans can help her later, because Nina has to work. After Nina settles Charlotte in, Valentin asks if she’s coming home tonight. She thinks they should be honest with Charlotte. She makes sure he’s not interested in Anna anymore, and says she’ll see him at home. I’d thought they’d settled that.

Anna tells Andre that if Valentin had just told Lulu she had a child, he could have avoided all this. I dunno about that. She realizes she’s a hypocrite, because she did the same thing, hiding Robin from Robert. Andre says maybe it was a complex situation, and Anna says maybe Valentin’s is too. She thought she knew him, but he wasn’t evil in the past and seems to love his daughter, yet at the same time he keeps hinting at knowing something. He knows why she put him on the kill list, but won’t tell her. Andre tells her she needs to focus on her health, but Anna tells him not to tell her how to live.

Mrs. Evans calls Nina. Nina says she’s sorry to hear it, they’ll miss her, and thanks for everything she’s done. She tells Charlotte that Mrs. Evans has to take care of her sick sister, but doesn’t know when she’s coming back. In the meantime, they’ll have to find another nanny.

Nelle says if Bobbie wants someone to blame, look in the mirror. Michael made her see she didn’t need revenge to be happy, and it would have stopped if Bobbie hadn’t interfered. Bobbie says Michael dodged a bullet, and would never be happy with her lying ass. She tells Nelle to get out before she throws her in the gutter where she belongs.

Carly tells Sonny that the worst betrayal is lying and covering it up. He says he didn’t want her hurt more than she was already. She says she could buy that, if Nelle was as innocent as she seemed. Sonny says he had to figure it out. Carly says she bought his explanation because she trusted him. He kept quiet and played into Nelle’s hands.

Anna apologizes. Andre asks if he can say something as a friend, who also happens to have a degree in psychology. She asks if she can stop him, and he says she’s not used to being afraid. Her condition is treatable, but makes her vulnerable. On top of it, she re-encounters someone from the past. It’s natural to want to tie up the loose ends. Anna says life isn’t that simple; it’s messy and full of contradictions. She says she glosses over her own mistakes – no, crimes – and she pushes them away, but when she sees Valentin, she’s reminded of how she was, and she doesn’t like herself very much. Andre says to be kind to her past self – she’s not the first to take a wrong turn, and give herself credit for choosing a better path. Allow her body and spirit to heal, and she can go back to kicking ass and taking names.  He asks if they’re still friends, and she says of course. They hug good-by. Andre has one last piece of advice for now – steer clear of Valentin.

Laura tells Lulu that the next six months require a staggering amount of self-control. Lulu says when she saw Charlotte, she wanted to run across the room. Laura says she has to play the long game and have patience. Lulu asks what the long game is and how she gets her daughter back. My deduction is going toward she’s the stupidest human on the planet.

Nelle comes in while Nina is on the phone. Nelle asks Charlotte if she can help, and explains the puzzle to her. Nina watches Nelle working with Charlotte and smiles. Nina tells Nelle that Charlotte’s nanny just resigned. (How convenient!) Nelle says that she’s bringing back the dress that Nina gave her for work. Nina tells her to keep it, but she says that she’s no longer working for Carly.

Carly brings up Michael, and how much he cared about Nelle. She asks how could Sonny let her take advantage of their son? He should have said something as soon as he saw she had an agenda. Sonny says that he didn’t want to lose her again.

Tracy says if Hayden loves Finn, she’ll be there whether he wants her there or not. Hayden says she has to trust him enough to let him try. Tracy tells her that hopefully, he’ll be back on staff by the time the next check comes, and telling them how to spend it.

Finn doesn’t remember stashing the vial. The phone rings. A bed is available. They ask for the patient’s name and Finn hesitates.

Nina tells Nelle that she’s surprised, since Carly said she was the best assistant ever. Nelle says it was time they parted ways. Nina gets another call, and Nelle introduces herself to Charlotte.

Lulu asks if it doesn’t drive Laura crazy to watch Valentin trample her. Laura says she’s not in the same position as Lulu. If Valentin commits another crime, she’s in a position to take action.

Valentin rings Anna’s doorbell. He asks if he can come in, and she says what if she says no. he says he could break in like she did, but it would just perpetuate the dance between them, and he wants to end it.

Finn says his patient decided on alternative therapy, but thanks anyway. He apologizes to Roxie, and starts to prepare a shot, but he drops the vial and it breaks.

Sonny says he didn’t want to drive Carly away when she needed him most. He says if it wasn’t for him, she would have pulled the trigger on Olivia-J. She would have done the same for him. He says that’s what they do for each other. She’s told lies too, but she’s still the one he trusts the most. She knows him deep down in his soul, like he knows her. They kiss. He has a silver wedding ring. I never noticed that

Hayden tells herself that she trusts Finn. Tracy doesn’t. Tracy goes to Finn’s room and sees the door open. She goes inside and sees the broken vial on the floor. She wonders what Finn has done.

Laura says if the court believed Valentin was up to no good, it would tip things in Lulu’s favor. She’s suitably placed to get her hands dirty. If things fall out the way she thinks they might, Valentin will get what’s coming to him. Sounds like she’s setting him up. I hope it backfires.

Valentin says no more break-ins, hints, or public disagreements; he wants peace. His wife and daughter are the most important things to him. If she persists, he’ll remove her – for good.

Nina apologizes to Nelle, but Nelle says she’s happy to help. She wonders if she can apply for the nanny position.

Carly tells Sonny that she has to go. She says he was right. They screw up the day to day things. They’re great at the big stuff, and would give their lives for each other, but when it comes to creating a life, they always end up at the same spot. She thinks they should just let it go. Sonny tells her that it’s not going to change, and she says she loves him, and if she hasn’t stopped now, she’s never going to. She leaves.

Tomorrow, Obrecht wonders where Finn is, Anna wants to know the truth, and Nina asks Nelle why she’s not working for Carly anymore.

Vanderpump Rules

Taco Tuesday; Wedding Wednesday. Schwartz and Katie go over things with the wedding planner. They want everything to be casual and fun. Katie claims she feels very calm. She’s marrying her Bubba. Oh, they also had edibles this morning. Schwartz’s mother arrives, and he gives her a Fireball shot. He suggests a wine chaser.

Jax is freaking out because Schwartz’s brothers missed their flight. He spends his interview time trying to figure out which tense of “worse” to use, and ends up saying it just sucks. They had one job, to show up on time. Brittany says her one job is getting everyone to party.

Scheana thinks Shay’s behavior is “off,” and wonders what’s up with him. Everyone goes to the lake with gigantic floaties. Kristen says as many problems as they have with each other, they all love Schwartz and Katie. A bug flies by and Stassi flips out. She doesn’t like bugs or dirt. Tom, who also missed his flight, manages to get there. He apologizes, and says he realized that he forgot his suit when he got to the airport. He’s rented a truck for the fifty cases of Coors Light he picked up. Eww!

Ariana asks what’s going on with Schwartz’s brothers, and Tom tells her that they missed the original flight, and then missed the connecting flight. Ariana thinks it’s possible that they still might get there in time for the rehearsal dinner.

Lisa checks out the ceremony space. A train comes by just a few yards away, and she hopes that doesn’t happen during the service. I would guess the venue knows the train schedule and plans accordingly. She has no direction yet, and needs to talk to Katie and Schwartz. The two of them join Ken and Lisa. Katie goes over the ceremony plans with Lisa while Ken grills Schwartz on how the first night is going to be. Katie gets all teary when Lisa reads what she has so far. We flash back on some of the events leading up to the wedding. Katie says the words Lisa is reading are exactly why they wanted her to officiate.

The others come by to check out the space. In her interview, Brittany tells us about her future wedding plans at a castle in Kentucky. Kristen takes pictures. The planner instructs everyone for the rehearsal. Tom talks about when he, Jax, and Schwartz lived together, and remembers when Schwartz first brought Katie home. Lunch is served. Giggy! Everyone drinks, and Jax says he has a huge crush on Schwartz’s mother. He wants to marry her just so Schwartz has to call him dad.

We flash back on Stassi’s relationship with Katie. Schwartz gives his mom an expensive ring as something to remember the moment by. Stassi’s mother pressures her about the guy she’s seeing. Stassi gives her mother TMI to get her off her back.

The triplets have arrived! Bert, Billy and Brandon. Tom had to dress them, since they basically have no clothing. Tom tells Schwartz that he and Jax want to give him an early wedding gift. The brothers come out one at a time, and Schwartz starts to cry. He says his brain isn’t even processing the moment. Somehow, Katie was able to keep the secret. Tom is thrilled about how happy Schwartz is. Lisa marvels at the identicalness of the triplets. In her interview, she says that it’s buried deep, but she knew there was some good in Jax. Well, Brittany likes him. Jax says his mission was to get Schwartz to cry – mission accomplished.

Shay is fast asleep. More dogs! Lisa tells Stassi how much hope she had for her, and felt she walked away from it. Stassi apologizes for letting Lisa down, and Lisa says maybe she needed to grow up and figure it out for herself. Lisa thinks it takes a big person to admit they’re wrong, and Stassi is glad for the compliment.

Katie goes down Memory Lane with her father. Both of her parents are there, even though they split up years ago. She says they haven’t been together as a family for a while. In her interview, she talks about doing things differently than her parents. Scheana tells Lisa about how she had a Little Mermaid party as a kid and didn’t want to mess up the piñata. They talk about Shay, and Scheana says he’s in a good place and they’ve gotten their couple mojo back. In her interview, Lisa seems a little skeptical, because she never sees Shay.

Piñata time! I’m waiting for the condoms and Ninja Turtle action figures to fall out. The girls work on the piñata, while the guys drink inside. The guys join in on the piñata festivities, It finally breaks, but I can’t tell what was inside, and Schwartz feels that everyone getting along is a good omen of the future. Lisa talks to Katie about the vows. Katie still needs to finish hers. Schwartz joins them. They talk about age, and Lisa is glad for her life experience. Katie says she’s been married thirty years and they should listen to any advice she has. Omg though, Ken is the best! Schwartz says he has no doubts about marrying Katie, and then ruins it by saying she fulfills him. That’s like, you complete me. No, just no. Everyone says good-night.

It’s the morning of the wedding. Ah, to be young and not hungover so much after a night of drinking. The groomsmen go fishing. Schwartz says he’s not ready with his vows yet. Ariana tells him to write it out and not wing it.

Lisa is ironing and Ken watches. She tells him that she hasn’t used an iron since 1986. He wants a picture, and harasses her with his phone. She tells him to bugger off. The bridesmaids get their makeup done. Katie says she’s heard that the wedding day flies by (truth!), and she’s tried to make sure all the bases are covered so she can enjoy herself. Kristen has taken on the job of attending to any last-minute details.

Jax wonders why he has to dress 30-year-old men, and tends to Schwartz’s brothers. Katie’s mother gives her a ring box with a corny sentiment on it. Tom practices tying his bow tie on his leg. He’s brought all kinds of back-up clothing and offers it around, including socks for Schwartz. Jax says two weeks ago, it wasn’t looking good, but now it’s finally happening. Ariana says if they’re still together after all the arguing in Vegas, they should be together for life.

Two hours and counting. Rose petals are scattered. Lisa thinks everything looks lovely, but she’s nervous because it’s somebody else’s day and she doesn’t want to screw it up. Giggy! Lisa instructs the helpers on how to decorate the podium.

Schwartz writes his vows. He says he’s a master procrastinator, but he’s got this. We’ll see. Ohh! Katie has one of those bouquets made out of vintage brooches. I love those! She says everything is perfect…almost. The boning in her dress is painful. She thinks maybe tacos and margaritas the night before wasn’t the best idea.

Ariana has been a bridesmaid a few times, and is enjoying wearing a suit. Tom says love is in the air. Jax says this is it, one vagina for life, but all joking aside, he’s excited for Schwartz.

And now, the dress reveal. No big shock, it’s beautiful. Lace with nude material underneath, and a mermaidish hem. Katie is wearing a sparkly headband that the veil will be attached to.

Fifteen minutes to go time. Giggy! Harrison! Another tiny Pomeranian! Schwartz talks to his dad on the phone, and tells him how much he loves him. Last minute adjustments are done on Katie’s dress, and the veil is attached. Tom thinks Ariana looks great in her suit and he’s right. Lisa takes her place at the podium. Katie’s veil is about a million miles long. The attendants walk down the aisle. The last two carry Schwartz and Katie’s dogs. Dogs! Schwartz wishes he could freeze frame the moment. It’s perfect.

Next time, the season finale, Schwartz and Katie are pronounced husband and wife, the reception happens, Lisa acquires a new bar, and Scheana wants a divorce.

🐮 Okay, going to give Sweet Home Oklahoma a try. It revolves around three women who are close friends. Years ago, I visited a friend in a small town outside of Tulsa and had the best time! I had to laugh about the restaurants – I swear everything was beef with a side of beef. I also got my first taste of Sonic, since we didn’t have them here at that point. One very interesting place I visited was a segregated cemetery. (And yes, that’s the one time I forgot my camera.) I suggested my friend buck the system and get a plot in the non-white section, but she told me that if she did, she might be using it earlier than she wanted to.

Afternote: I wasn’t totally paying attention, but the show might have promise. There’s a French bulldog in it.

👻 Once in a while, I mention a film, and I have to mention Lights Out. As soon as I saw the trailer, I wanted to see this movie. Although not much actually scares me – maybe the morgage payment – I enjoy those creepfests where things pop out at you. This one delivered, although I wasn’t crazy about the end, suddenly presenting me with lofty ideals and self-sacrifice. It was the same way I felt about Mama. Loved it up until the last few minutes. If you want to mix nobility with horror, it had better be damn good. Thirteen Ghosts (2001) worked for me in that department. I have to admit, I’ll probably watch it again, since a large percentage of it gave good scare.

March 14, 2017 – Olivia-J Meets Her Match, Jim is Cleaned Out While Wyatt is Cleaned Up, Beverly Hills Meets Hong Kong & a Little on Little LA

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Lulu tells Laura that she’s terrified. She thinks the judge might grant custody to Valentin. She thanks Laura for trying to get through to Nina. Laura says she hasn’t given up, and is just getting started.

Franco and Elizabeth get back home. She wants to check on the boys, even though the babysitter said they were sleeping. Franco says that he thought he lost her, but she says he didn’t. He tells her that the only time he feels like the world is okay is when he’s with her. They kiss. Jake has quietly come downstairs and sees them.

Jordan calls for a warrant. Andre walks in. He says he heard about the bomb scare and what happened to her.

Sonny asks Curtis for help.

While cleaning up the glass, Ava tells Carly if she’s done smashing things, she might take note that they have a mutual enemy. But she’s talking to herself; Carly is gone.

Carly goes to Morgan’s grave. She says she finally found out who did this to him, and the mystery is solved. It was Ava’s crazy sister. She tells him that her name is Olivia Jerome, and she’s the reason that Carly lost him forever

Olivia-J says, good-by little brother; you deserved that. Winston hasn’t found Alexis, but Olivia lets it go. She says the poor thing is wearing heels, and it will take her forever to get help. They’ll be long gone by then. She wasn’t able to bring Duke back, but she avenged his death; her work there is done. She tells Winston to have the boat standing by. There’s one last wrong she needs to right and correct her past.

Jake asks Franco and Elizabeth if something happened. He says the babysitter would only let them watch DVDs, and they weren’t allowed to use the internet or watch TV. Elizabeth says something did happen, but everyone is fine. Elizabeth shows him a picture of his new baby sister. Jake says he doesn’t think she’s cursed.

Andre asks Jordan how her head is, and she says hard. She tells him she’ll be fine. He says she just came through a hazardous time. Jordan is surprised when he calls Olivia-J crazy, since he’s a psychiatrist, but he says that he could call her worse.

Sonny asks Curtis if Olivia-J is the one. Curtis says that everything he’s heard is all true and then some. Sonny needs answers. Curtis says he’d be happy to provide all the information he has, but it looks like Sonny is up to speed. Sonny needs to know where to find Olivia, but Curtis can’t help him with that. Sonny asks what he knows about Winston.

Carly tells Morgan that they’ll never be over his death. The choices she’s made since then have been a disaster, and Michael and Josslyn got caught up in the fallout. She could handle it if Morgan was there, but he’s gone. Gone because of Julian and Ava’s crazy sister. She wants justice for him. She says that’s a lie, she wants revenge, and realizes she sounds like Sonny. She says after all this time, she understands him. She tells Morgan that she loves and misses him every second of every day. Olivia-J walks by and says she didn’t mean to intrude. Carly is like, wha….?

Doc joins Laura and Lulu. He says evacuating a psyche ward isn’t easy under the best of circumstances. Laura tells him about Charlotte’s evaluation, and he says it’s standard procedure. Lulu asks if he can make the evaluation, since she’s a complete idiot.

Franco asks Jake what he meant about a curse. Jake says Helena hated Sam, and put a curse on her. He thought she might have cursed the baby too, but maybe she was just saying that and the baby is okay. Elizabeth says curses aren’t real. Franco says Helena was a whack-job, and Elizabeth says she liked to scare people. Jake asks if she was like a witch, and Franco says he’s a letter off. I literally LOL. Franco says maybe Helena believed it, but there’s no such thing. Elizabeth says if Jake remembers anything, he should tell her. He says he only remembers her talking about the curse. All of a sudden, he glazes over a little and says, “Never forget, Jake. Never tell.”

Jordan has to go. Andre says he knows she needs to get back to work, and she says thanks for checking on her. He tells her that they’ve been through too much to be polite.

Curtis tells Sonny that he has no clue as to Winston’s whereabouts, but to let him know if he needs anything. Sonny gets on the phone to Max. He asks if there’s any word, and tells him to stay on it. He can bring in Spinelli if he needs to. If they find Winston, they find Olivia-J.

Olivia-J tells Carly that grief is a private thing, and starts to leave. Carly asks what she’s doing there at this time of night. She has a plaque in her hands, and says she was picking up some artifacts. Carly says she’s not going anywhere; she knows who Olivia is.

Franco asks why Jake said that, but Jake says he didn’t say anything. Franco repeats it, but Jake doesn’t know what it means. Elizabeth asks if he might have overheard Helena. Jake isn’t sure, and says he’s tired. Elizabeth asks if they can talk in the morning, and Jake says if she wants to. Franco takes Jake upstairs, and Elizabeth takes out the book that Helena left her, Jake’s Adventure.

When Franco comes back downstairs, he asks if Elizabeth thinks Jake might have seen the book, but she says no. She thought it was best not to throw it away, but kept it hidden in her locker until after her house blew up, and then she hid it in the new house. Franco suggests maybe there’s a curse on her too, but she says her luck is her own doing. She put it away and out of her mind. She says she knows it hasn’t been touched, which makes the situation more disturbing. Franco reads the end – Never forget, Jake. Never tell. Elizabeth wonders what it means and what Helena did to Jake.

Andre tells Jordan that he knows it was his idea to break up, but he’s missed her. She says she had to face things, and he says he’ll only be a phone call away – as a friend. Curtis comes in with coffee.

Sonny asks Max what he has on Winston

Olivia-J tells Carly that the only thing she knows about Carly is that she should mind her own business. If she keeps pushing, she won’t like the outcome. Carly asks what’s up with the plaque, and Olivia says that Olivia St. John used to be her name. Carly calls her a monster, and Olivia says she makes it sound like she rose from the sea to terrorize Tokyo. She tells Carly that the things on TV are just sensationalism. She knew nothing about a bomb, and the things about Anna were exaggerated. Carly tells her to shut up. She says she only cares about one thing – that Olivia killed her son.

Doc tells Lulu that it’s a conflict of interest, and Valentin’s lawyer would never allow it. Lulu thinks they should use the shooting to their advantage. Doc can say either he does the evaluation or he’ll testify about the shooting. Doc says sorry, not happening. Lulu says she’s desperate. Laura asks if he knows most of the therapists in Port Charles, and if he can ask around to find out who it will be. He says he doesn’t have that kind of access, but it still wouldn’t be right. The therapist has to be impartial. Lulu says nothing about this is impartial. She begs him to find out who it is, and tell them that Charlotte was poisoned against Lulu.

Elizabeth wonders if it’s code for something else. Franco says just because it seems innocuous doesn’t mean it is. They both decide to reread the book. Elizabeth asks Franco if he remembers when Jake first came home; he was insecure and terrified of abandonment. Everything came to a head after Sam fell down the stairs, and now he seems like a normal boy. On the surface, nothing is wrong, but he hasn’t seen the book and he’s reciting from it. Franco says maybe it’s some kind of sign, and Elizabeth says she’s scared that Jake is holding on to a terrible trauma, so bad he blocked it. She doesn’t know where to start. Franco thinks there’s another way.

Jordan has to take a call from Dante. Andre tells Curtis that he heard that he diffused the bomb, and thanks him. Curtis says, but he still doesn’t like him. Andre says he and Jordan had something special, and Curtis blew it apart just because he could, and that’s right, he doesn’t like him.

Winston looks for Olivia-J on the footbridge, but finds Sonny instead.

Olivia-J says, you’re his mother. Carly says his name was Morgan, and she’s standing on the grave of the boy she murdered. Olivia pulls a gun, and Carly calls her crazy. Morgan had his life ahead of him. She stole that and stole Morgan from her, and now Carly is going to make her pay. Olivia says not today. They struggle over the gun, and Olivia gets shot. Carly draws the gun on her and says now we’re going to talk about how you killed my son.

Lulu tells Doc about her horrible mistake in telling Charlotte that she’s her mother. He says it was bad timing, but she told the truth. She says then there was the whole Crimson debacle, and tells Doc about it. She says she hasn’t had a chance to show Charlotte how much she loves her, so no way is Charlotte going to say something good; she hates Lulu. Doc says Charlotte’s feelings will change, but a good therapist will be able to talk to her and see beyond her words. They’ll interpret her actions and emotions, and get at the root of why she feels the way she does, which could work in Lulu’s favor. The therapist is going to know she was kept from Lulu, and she has to trust the system. Lulu says she’s been too focused on what Charlotte will say, rather than what the therapist and the court hears. She thanks Doc for his advice, and leaves for Olivia-F’s place to pick up Rocco.

Laura says she shouldn’t have put Doc on the spot, but she had to ask. He says of course, and she says she has another favor. She needs him to be straight with her.

Curtis tells Andre that he and Jordan aren’t together, and have no romantic intentions, so if he wants to romance her, knock his socks off. Andre says to spare him the attempt of bowing out gracefully. He should have done that at the beginning.  If he bows out now, she’ll think he’s a coward or a player, and Curtis will lose her too.

Ava leaves another message for Sonny, telling him the charges have been dropped and she wants to see Avery. She tells him about Carly storming over. She says she had nothing to do with Morgan’s death, and it’s harmful for Avery not to see her. While she’s wrapping up her tirade, there’s a knock at the door. It’s Jordan. Ava asks if it’s a formal apology. Jordan says no apology, but she needs to speak with her. Ava asks if something happened to Julian, since he’s always getting in trouble, but Jordan is there about Olivia-J. Ava says she may have noticed that Olivia is insane and might go after Julian. She wanted to see him, and was insistent. Jordan asks how Ava knows that, and Ava says she was there.

Sonny asks Winston what his son’s name is. Winston says Morgan. Sonny asks where Olivia-J is. Winston doesn’t know. Sonny tells Winston that he’s useless to him then. It makes him someone who helped Olivia kill Morgan, and what does he think Sonny is going to do with that?

Olivia tells Carly that it was an accident; she was after Julian and she’s sorry. It was Julian’s fault. Carly says she’s blamed him and everyone else, but only one person is responsible – her. Olivia asks what good will it do, but Carly says she doesn’t care about doing good. Nothing she does will bring Morgan back, but she can balance the scales a little by making sure Olivia’s not alive to hurt anyone else.

Laura asks in Doc’s heart of hearts, knowing everything he does, what’s his honest opinion about what will happen. He thinks it can go either way.

Franco tells Elizabeth that they could use art therapy without directly asking questions. Elizabeth says then Jake won’t have the need to evade them. He says Jake won’t know what’s going on, but they might find out what they’re dealing with. He says Jason is the only problem. If he finds out, he might stop it. Elizabeth says that unless there’s something concrete to report, he doesn’t have to know. She needs to know what Helena did to Jake.

Ava tells Jordan that Olivia-J held her at gunpoint and forced her to call Julian. When he got there, Olivia ordered him to go somewhere else. Jordan asks why she didn’t call the police, and  both Ava and I roll our eyes. Ava says they’re biased against her, and she was just released for a crime she had nothing to do with. Jordan asks where Julian and Olivia were meeting, but Ava has no idea.

Sonny tells Winston that he has a lot of influence on the waterfront. When they made arrangements for the boat, he got a call. Winston says he has no idea where she is, but she told him that she had to right one last wrong and correct the past.

Carly asks Olivia-J if she would have listened if she or Morgan begged. Olivia says Morgan was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Carly says now it’s Olivia’s turn. What are the odds she visits Morgan’s grave and finds his killer? She says that some higher power heard her prayer, and she’s not missing out on answered prayer. Olivia says she doesn’t want to do this, but Carly says, yes she does. She really does. We hear a shot.

Tomorrow, Alexis thinks Julian might be dead, Sonny tells Winston that it’s going to get ugly, and Tracy and Monica make a toast.

The Haves and the Have Nots

War backs out of Erica’s room. She asks David to stop, and he asks if she’s all right. She says yes, but he doesn’t think so. He talks about how amazing it feels and that he got carried away. She says he did nothing wrong; it’s just too soon. He asks if there’s something more, like his situation or age. She tells him no. He asks if she wants him to leave, and she thinks that’s best. She just thinks it’s too soon, and they were both drunk. He asks to see her tomorrow and she agrees, thanking him for understanding. This hotel has the Worst. Security. Ever.

David leaves and War pops out of the closet, making me laugh. I’ll bet he’s a funny guy IRL. Usually those super nasty characters are.

War says he hates to see that, and Erica says that David is nothing but a mark. She says she doesn’t get involved in his business, and he repeats that he doesn’t like it. He says she wasn’t answering her phone, and she says she was working. It was Candace’s idea, and they’re going to get four million, not just two. She tells him that Candace didn’t set him up; Mitch did. War says he’s going to kill Mitch. She asks if he wants her to call Candace, but she gets voicemail. Erica leaves a message to call her back. She tells War they’ll get Candace for everything she’s got. War’s phone rings. He says Candace is at the Fountain Drop Hotel, and Erica guesses that’s the best she can do. War says he doesn’t want to see that dude in Erica’s room again, but Erica insists she’s just working.

Candace tells Charles he’s quiet. He asks how much she taped. She says all of it, and she videoed everything too. He asks who is doing this, and she says just her. He says he was warned that his opponent would try something like this, and asks what she wants. She says she’ll let him know. He says it’s sad; it was the one time he let his guard down. She tells him that’s bs; he’s done this before. He’s like most men in power. They take what they like and walk away. Candace says he just messed with the wrong female, and Charles says she just messed up the best situation of her life. He’s a good guy, and didn’t lie, cheat, or deceive to get what he wanted. She applauds, and says he’s going to be fine. He says he won’t be blackmailed. She says that’s not what she wants. She wants him to come back later and wait for her in bed, naked. He says it’s not going to happen, but she says it will. He doesn’t really want power. He wants it in public, but in private, he wants to be submissive. She says he sobered up, and now he’s afraid, so be drunk when he comes back. Before he leaves, Candace tosses the recording to him. He asks if there are copies, and she says maybe. She tells Charles that she’s going to give his boring ass some excitement. He comes to the bed and kisses her.

Commercial break with important information. Too Close to Home will be returning directly after If Loving You is Wrong’s season debut (March 15). Tyler Perry back to back? My head might explode.

Jeffrey messes with his phone, texting, while Melissa lies in bed. He gets a message from the rehab people saying that Wyatt finally called, and one from Justin, apologizing and begging him to talk. Melissa gets up and takes his phone. She asks who Justin is, and why he’s sorry, and wonders why there are no pictures on his phone. She asks what Justin did and why Jeffrey is so angry. She tells him about a guy who treated her like crap, and then texted apologies all night. She says if Justin is like that, dump him. Or is he the jealous type and saw the text about Wyatt? Jeffrey reacts, and she says it’s not going to work. She says if he wants to go, to use her car, since it’s not parked there, and Veronica won’t hear it start. She goes back to bed.

There’s a knock at Wyatt’s door. It’s the people from the rehab. Anna, Joan, and some guy who asks how long he’s been trying to kick it. Joan explains the expense end of it, as Wyatt’s vitals are taken. Anna says he made the right call. She asks if he knows a Jeffrey. He says yes, and she says he’s been calling every two hours. Nameless guy says that Wyatt’s blood pressure is through the roof. He asks when was the last time Wyatt took something, and Wyatt thinks yesterday. Dude asks him to pee in a cup. Anna says he did the right thing, and is in good hands.

Hannah comes back to the room. Benny is sleeping in front of the door to make sure Candace didn’t leave, but she’s gone, so he’s not very good at that. He calls her phone, but Hannah says wherever Candace is, let her stay there. She has to think about Quincy Jr. Benny wants the car keys, and Hannah asks if he killed Quincy. Benny tells her no. She says the cops said two people killed him. He asks why she was talking to them, and she says to tell them where Candace is, to protect her. He asks how that’s protecting her, and Hannah tells him that War is after Candace, and she’s better off in jail. Benny says that War can get to her locked up. Hannah says the police said that a man helped with the murder, and she insists Benny must have done it. She asks why his bracelet was there. Benny asks for the keys again, but Hannah wants answers first. He says he didn’t do anything, but she thinks he’s lying.

Benny calls Mitch. He needs help and a ride. He asks Mitch to pick him up. Mitch says he’s on his way. Hannah tells him not to ask again about the car.

Candace listens to her messages. Jim calls. She says Jim who, and how much did she get from him? He plays along, and she says, oh, hi Jim, and what a surprise. He says he misses her, and she says too bad she doesn’t miss him. She tells him that the money is gone because the bank foreclosed. He asks who told her that he was behind it, and she says it doesn’t matter. He wants to see her. She laughs, and says he must be kidding; she’s not coming anywhere near him. He tells her to name her price. She says ten million. He says escort rate, not blackmail rate. She says she knows he’s trying to set her up. He was a job, and now the job is done. He’s not going to see her. She hangs up.

Mitch comes to the Fountain Drop. Benny tells Mitch that Candace isn’t answering, and to try calling from his phone. Hannah asks if he’s in on it, and if he killed that boy. Mitch says he saw it on the news. He asks Benny what he did, and Hannah says that’s what she’s trying to find out. Hannah slaps Benny around, and he tells her to calm down. She keeps asking what he did. He says he’ll be back, and everything is fine. He and Mitch leave.

Mitch tells Benny he needs some help. He thinks it’s a waste of time looking for Candace, and that Benny should lawyer up. Benny says it’s 3 am, and Mitch says do it anyway. Benny calls Veronica. She says whoever this is must not know the time, which is more polite than I’d be. He says he has a legal situation and needs advice. She acts cagey, and he says if she’s going to help him, fine, but if not, don’t waste his time. She tells him to come over. He tells Mitch this isn’t a good idea. Mitch repeats that he needs help.

Jim wanders around his empty mansion. There’s no furniture or anything else in it. He calls for Kathryn, and she comes downstairs. He asks if they were robbed, and she says she took everything. He says he was right in his office and didn’t hear anything, and she says he wasn’t supposed to. She asked him to leave, he wouldn’t, so she is (and I guess the furniture too). She’s going to sell the house out from under him. He says they need to stick together and this isn’t the answer. She tells him he’s not the answer. She’s done and he needs to leave. If she has to donate the house to charity, she will. She tells him that she’s getting a divorce, and walks out.

Jim calls David. He’s at the bar having a drink (when is last call?), and Jim asks where. Jim tells him Kathryn just walked out with everything. She had one of the quietest moving crews ever, and took it all while he was in his office. He says he’s on his way – if he still has a car. They can celebrate his divorce.

Jeffrey sees a car outside. Melissa asks who it is, and he tells her to mind her business. She tells him she’s a person too, and has feelings. Melissa’s mother calls and the doorbell rings. Veronica answers the door. It’s Benny. She tells him he needs to apologize before anything else, and he says he’s sorry. She says it must be something for him to call in the middle of the night. He says he has a friend who didn’t murder anyone, but buried the body. She asks where. He says the backyard, but he forgot something when he buried it. She asks if they’re talking about Quincy, and Benny says yes. Veronica asks if the friend murdered him, and he says no, just buried him. She says the first thing he needs to do is take off his clothes. Benny says he’s not doing this. She says he can help himself by having his way with her. He tells her never mind; he doesn’t know why he came here. She asks if he’s sure, and keeps asking as he leaves.

This is one busy town at 3 am.

Benny tells Mitch they shouldn’t have come and let’s get out now. He says he asked for help and she wanted sex. I think Mitch is a little flabbergasted that Benny doesn’t think this is a good idea.

Veronica goes back upstairs. She sees Jeffrey and asks if he shouldn’t be asleep. He asks if she shouldn’t be ashamed, and she says no; she’s heterosexual. She tells him to go to bed with Melissa. She tells him that Benny just gave himself and Candace up; he might go free after all. Jeffrey says his keys were there, and Veronica calls it a minor detail.

Jeffrey goes back in the bedroom. He says he’s not sleeping in the chair, and don’t touch him in the bed. Melissa comes out of the bathroom and gets back in bed. She tells him that her father died. He says too bad; he wants to go to sleep. She starts to cry. He asks if she wet the bed, but when he pulls the covers back, there’s blood all over the place. She’s slit her wrists.

Benny and Mitch come back to the hotel. Mitch tells Hannah that they can’t find Candace. Hannah says they won’t, unless she wants to be found. She says she asked her boss to find them a lawyer, and Kathryn is calling in the morning. Hannah wants to know what Benny did. Mitch says he buried the body. She asks if Benny killed Quincy, and Mitch tells Benny to answer. Benny says when he got to the house, Quincy was already dead. It was Candace and Jeffrey. Hannah says no way, and she thinks Candace is lying. She says that Candace doesn’t even know Jeffrey. Suddenly, the door busts open. It’s War and his crew.

A huge fight happens. Lots of punching and kicking and throwing, and Hannah yelling stop it. War pulls out a gun, and they all start shooting. Then they all run. Mitch and Benny come out from under the bed. Hannah comes out of the bathroom with Quincy Jr. He’s been shot.

This was the season finale, so no preview.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Harrison! Giggy! LisaV is packing for Hong Kong. She hasn’t been there in eighteen years. She tells Ken that he’s lucky she’s only bringing three bags, unlike Erika, who packs enough for ten people.

Erika is also packing, and needs three people just to help her. They go through a lookbook of outfit ideas. At the same time, Dorit manages to put her own outfits together. She’s very familiar with Hong Kong, having worked in a business where she went there every six weeks.

LisaR shows her dog, Lola, the accessories she’s bringing. She says sometimes it comes to this. She’s only going for a couple of days because she has to be back for a QVC gig. She tells Lola that she’s going for Lola’s people, and Lola walks away. Typical dog. Long story short. I was being interviewed for a TV program at my house years ago. The cameraman suggested I pick up my dog, Juliet, and give her a kiss. I thought this was Juliet’s chance to be a star, but instead, she tried to bite me on the nose.

Dorit picks up LisaV for the airport. Lots of dogs! Lisa kisses all the babies, and Ken, good-by. Schnooky wants to come along, and Lisa misses them already.  I identify. After Juliet had puppies, the first time I went out for the day all I did was think about them. Dorit wonders who she’ll be sitting next to on the flight. They go through various seatmates and how they would feel about them.

Erika wonders what everyone was thinking with their outfits, since it’s a fifteen-hour flight. She’s wearing a sweat suit because she knows the real deal. It’s nap time.

The plane is super cool, and Eileen is the only one who stays awake. I’d be playing with all the buttons and ordering champagne.

Fastest. Plane. Ride. Ever. We’re in Hong Kong. The Shangri-La hotel manager greets the ladies. No surprise, it’s fabulous. LisaV is in the presidential suite, which she calls cute. Fruit baskets and sundries abound.

The ladies meet for drinks. Erika is wearing a forties look, with her hair like one of the Andrews Sisters, and wearing what looks like a peignoir with marabou feathers on the cuffs. She’s seated next to Dorit. In her interview, Dorit says the harder she tries to be nice, the colder Erika gets. Eden talks about her online squeeze kindred spirit, who she’s meeting in NYC. She says it’s her treat and the women are like, no and no. Eden says that maybe he could be an ax murderer, but so could she.

LisaV talks about the documentary. She tells the women that if they want to come, that’s fine, but she’s not pressuring anyone because it could be depressing. Kyle says she can’t see anymore, and I won’t see to begin with. Dorit tells Lisa that they’re all supportive, and Lisa starts to cry. In her interview, Eileen says she’s willing to see LisaV in a different light because she can understand where she’s coming from.

LisaR wonders what to do with her chocolate tower, and Eileen thinks they should just eat it. Seriously. What is she going to do? Try to save it? Try taking that through customs. A window cleaner comes by, and we flash back to the diver who Eileen awoke to in Dubai. Dorit comes by. Eileen says she’s going with LisaV, and Dorit decides to come along. LisaR is going to the highest point in Hong Kong with Eden. In her interview, she says she’s willing to give Eden a second chance.

Kyle meets with LisaV, who’s main objective is to do what she needs to do without acting like a blubbering idiot. Kyle is doing some sightseeing. They talk about how beautiful it is. Eileen is suddenly on the phone. She tells Lisa that she wants to join her, but knows how personal it is and doesn’t want Lisa to be uncomfortable. Lisa tells her to please come, and they make plans to meet downstairs. Kyle says she’ll be holding down the fort at Chanel. Lisa is surprised at Eileen’s call, and Kyle says Eileen can be really nice if she’ll give her a chance.

LisaR talks to Dorit about the night at Eden’s when she pulled out her bag of drugs pills supplements. She wants to make sure that Dorit is clear that it was a joke, and she doesn’t have a problem. Dorit says she’s certain that if she talked about it to anyone, it was in relaying a funny moment. She says she’d never insinuate that Lisa had a drug problem, and asks who said it. Lisa says it was during a conversation in Mexico, and Dorit says she would like to confront the person. Lisa backtracks and says no one told her, she just had a sixth sense about it. In her interview, Dorit says that doesn’t make sense. She wonders why Lisa hasn’t said anything up until now. Lisa tells her to go to everyone she was with that night, and see if anyone twisted what she had to say. Way too complicated for what it is.

Kyle and Erika walk around a gorgeous park that has Koi ponds and all kinds of fountains. Eden and LisaR get into an elevator car that takes you to the highest point in Hong Kong. It’s really cool looking! Even the car is cool, like an old-fashioned trolley with wooden seats.

LisaV tells Eileen that she’s trying not to be a wimp and crying about the dogs all the time. They arrive at the studio where the documentary is being made. Lisa explains how she started to get involved. One of the guys talks about how much they’ve done so far. Eileen wants to understand more about the cause. They show part of the documentaries, and talk about how the dogs are tortured to “make the meat more tender.” Lisa is pleased with the film so far. Lisa says hopes to achieve momentum and support. She does a voiceover about how she has eight dogs that she worships. In her interview, Eileen says she thinks this is the beginning of a different understanding between them. Every time I even think about the dog meat trade, I get infuriated and depressed. The Wicked Witch of the West said it best, “What a world! What a world!”

Erika suggests she and Kyle shop for jade. In her interview, Erika says usually kids who grow up in the business turn out to be a-holes, but Kyle is a cool chick. She tells Kyle about her visit home, and how her mother apologized for being hard on her as a kid. She says it was unexpected, but appreciated. A lot of her mother’s dreams were unrealized, and she placed them on Erika. She says it’s hard for a kid to handle. Kyle talks about a psychic she saw, who told her that her mother said she wasn’t responsible for her sister Kim, and how she’s a good mom. Kyle gets weepy, and in her interview, says her mother acknowledged the mistakes she’d made. They talk about how a mom can get under your skin the way no one else can. Kyle says there was a lot of pressure on them to be perfect, but we all make mistakes. Erika says the way she was treated as a child has carried over into the way she treats others; she waits for them to critique her.

Eden and LisaR eat in a café way up in the air. Lisa still feels unsettled about her talk with Dorit. She tells Eden about it. She thinks someone is turning what happened at Eden’s house into Lisa having a problem. Eden says she was asked about it – by Dorit. We flash back, but it wasn’t quite like that. Lisa says she thinks everyone knew about it except her. Eden says go to the source and Lisa says she did, but the source is a wimp.

Erika’s glam squad goes to work on her. She talks about her previous trips to Hong Kong.

The ladies meet for a junk boat trip. I have no clue what that is. Everyone is super dressed up, which makes me confused. Oooh! It’s so pretty! It’s an old-fashioned small ship. This is freaking cool. Inside the ship, it’s more modern, with padded bench style seats, tiny lanterns, and alcohol. Dorit decides now is the time to bring up what LisaR said to her. She wants to know who said that she thought Lisa had a drug problem. Lisa says nobody told her that, and asks what the conversation in Mexico was about. It gets convoluted at this point, because everyone is talking all at once and vaguely. Dorit says Lisa is talking out of two sides of her mouth, either she was surprised or she wasn’t. To top it off, the picture and sound on my TV are periodically breaking up, making it even harder to understand. I think that, as usual, a bigger deal is being made out of something to get a story out of it.

Eden says it came to her that when Dorit was at her house, she’d asked if Lisa had a problem with pills. Dorit says she doesn’t remember saying that. There’s a lot of that going around on these shows. In her interview, LisaV wonders if LisaR is paranoid, and says that paranoia can be brought on by pills. BA-DUM-CHH! LisaR tells Dorit to be honest, and she says she is. Nothing was said about her having a problem, and Dorit never thought she did. In her interview, LisaR says the problem is that Dorit is talking behind her back. Kyle doesn’t think Dorit was inferring there was a problem. Dorit says it wasn’t like she was saying Lisa was a drug addict, but Erika says she implied it. Dorit says she’d said they were joking around, and Erika says she did, but why did she bring it up if she didn’t think it was part of Lisa’s behavior? LisaV doesn’t remember LisaR’s behavior being a topic of conversation. Dorit complains about Erika talking over her, when normally she hardly says anything. Erika says that she says important sh*t, while Dorit says boring sh*t, and a lot more of it. Dorit asks what Erika’s issue is with her, and Erika claims not to have one. I dunno about that after what she just said. Dorit says Erika is the only one she hasn’t made even a small connection with, and Erika says that’s because she doesn’t like bs and that’s what Dorit is all about. Dorit asks Erika why she didn’t just say that, and Erika says she just did.

Next time, LisaR tells Dorit not to threaten her, more high up stuff, a giant Buddha, and Erika breaks down. Good. I was liking her a little more after her trip back home, but I think her animosity toward Dorit is uncalled for. I think Dorit is ditzy and has no filter, but I don’t think she comes from a bad place.

🏝 A note on Little Women: LA. After reaching her goal of being in the final five, Terra was cut from Dancing with the Stars. Husband Joe was glad to have her back, but her schedule is still crazy, and includes surgery on several hernias. This woman makes me feel embarrassed that my idea of accomplishment is getting to bed at a decent hour, and I can’t even do that. I love Terra’s husband too – he’s so laid back. She does get irritated at him for taking too many things as a joke, but the bottom line is that he’s totally supportive of her. The girls also did an insane workout (minus Terra), where they were suspended on harnesses. It looked like a lot of fun, although Tonya said it wasn’t a workout, it was crazy white people’s sh*t.  Elena seemed a little unreasonable, crying to husband Preston that Terra promised that when she was done with DWTS, their friendship would be back to normal, and Terra hadn’t called yet. I doubt when she said that, that Terra predicted they would have a huge fight before she was eliminated. At least Elena recognizes her desire to tell Terra “I told you so” about her health, and that it’s the wrong thing to say. I’ve had to resist that urge myself on more than one occasion. Believe me, they’re well aware that you were right. And it’s like waiting for the other shoe to fall. 👠

💤 Tuesday TV is exhausting. 💤

 

 

March 13, 2017 – The Fun Never Ends in Port Charles, the Wedding Weekend Begins, Summer House Ends & Some Housewives Talk

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Sonny visits Morgan’s grave. He has good news. Morgan’s killer is being brought to justice, and his family is holding up. He says they’re not sure they can prove who the killer is, and he and Carly split up. Sounds more like good news/bad news to me. He tells Morgan he did something very stupid, so don’t blame his mother. He managed to hurt her again. As he’s talking, Carly comes with flowers.

Ava’s phone rings. It’s Olivia-J. She asks for Julian. She tells him that she decided she couldn’t take the chance meeting at Ava’s. She’s found a way to protect herself with someone who’s more valuable to him. He asks who’s more valuable than Ava, and Olivia says his precious ex-wife, Alexis.

Dante tells Jordan what Jason and Curtis are doing. She says what if the bomb detonates, and Dante says hopefully, the bomb squad will disarm it.

At this point, Finn is sitting on the floor looking all sweaty. He tells Hayden it doesn’t seem like there’s a fire, and wonders if it’s something worse. Hayden asks what could be worse than a fire? He says that he doesn’t want to find out. She tells him he looks awful, and he says it figures.

Sam yells at the police about wanting to find Jason, and Epiphany tells her to knock it off. She gives the baby to Epiphany, and goes back to arguing with the officer. Franco tells the police to quit hassling Sam, and she tells him there’s a bomb in the building. They hear an announcement saying that Jason and Curtis are inside with the bomb squad.

Jason tells Curtis to leave, but Curtis wants to wait for the experts. The bomb squad shows up, and asks how they’re doing. Curtis tells them that they’ll be doing better once the bomb is disarmed. They have just over three and a half minutes left.

Sonny tells Carly that he thought if he talked to Morgan he could figure things out. Carly says she’ll come back, but Sonny asks her to stay. He says that he should have been talking to her and asking her to forgive him. She says she doesn’t give a damn about Nelle. Her son is dead. Sonny says our son, but she says it doesn’t feel like it. She says the worst part was going through it all by herself, and having the pit in her stomach with nothing to fill it and no one to understand. Sonny tells her that he understands. Carly says when she realized that, the relief was overwhelming, but now it’s like she’s back to the beginning. He says it doesn’t have to be that way, and she says it does. He says that sleeping with Nelle was the biggest mistake, and he doesn’t even know how it happened. Carly says she’s forgiven him for worse, but he let her keep Nelle close. He says he tried to get rid of her. But he didn’t, Carly tells him, and he should have told her the truth. Sonny says he didn’t want to add to her pain, and Carly says he let Nelle take advantage of their family at its lowest point. He says he’s sorry, and she says she is too. She wants to spend time alone with Morgan.

Julian asks Olivia-J what she’s done to Alexis, and Olivia says he’ll find out when he meets her. She tells him come to the footbridge. Ava asks what’s going on, but Julian tells her that the less she knows, the better.

Hayden asks if Finn can wait this out. He tells her he’s going to be in full-blown withdrawal soon, and she should have left while she had the chance, before he starts throwing up.

Franco tells Sam that Jason wouldn’t want her anywhere near a bomb. She says that Franco should be in there, not Jason. Since Elizabeth is still in the hospital too, Sam asks Franco how it feels to be on the other side.

Jordan sees Elizabeth, and asks why she’s still there. Elizabeth tells her that she was helping to get patients out. Dante says that since Jason is Jake’s father, she should know what’s happening. He tells her about Jason being in the elevator with the bomb.

Curtis asks the bomb squad guy what wires need to be cut. The guy explains that the bomb has dual triggers, and both have to be disarmed simultaneously. Curtis refuses to leave, saying he can cut the wires himself. This is actually more practical than noble. The bomb squad guys have so much equipment on, by the time they trade places with Curtis, they’ll all be blown to smithereens. The guy gives Curtis the wire cutters. He tells Curtis that the same color wire will disarm both triggers. Curtis decides to go for the red one.

Carly tells Morgan that it’s typical of her and his dad to bring their issues to him. She says she couldn’t protect him in life, but she can try now. Her phone rings. It’s Ava, surprising the hell out of her. Ava says she’s desperate for a visit with Avery and can’t get Sonny on the phone. Carly says she’s at Morgan’s grave. Ava says she didn’t know. Carly says now you do, and hangs up. Carly tells Morgan she loves him, and leaves.

Alexis comes to on the footbridge, where she’s handcuffed to the railing. Olivia-J says sorry about the chloroform, and some sponsor she tuned out to be. Alexis asks why she’s doing this, and Olivia tells her that she doesn’t expect Alexis to understand. She’s learned there’s no line between love and hate. Olivia says she already has – my husband, who is home today, walks by and says something, and I have no idea what Olivia has now. Thanks, Ron.

Hayden wipes Finn’s forehead with a cool cloth. He says if he has to be stuck with anyone, he’s glad it’s her, but she doesn’t deserve this; she’s healthy and strong. Hayden says she’s where she wants to be. Her place is with him.

Sam tells Franco this is torture. They’re outside while the ones they love are inside. She says Elizabeth won’t die, because Jason is risking his life to save everyone. She says thank God he survived the ancient history of Franco trying to kill him.

Curtis realizes the red wires aren’t the way to go, and asks how Jason feels about blue. Jason likes blue. One…two…three…commercial.

An explosion sound is heard inside the hospital. Sam begs an officer for Jason’s status. He radios, but no one answers. Jason walks out. Sam runs to him. Guess blue worked.

Finn tells Hayden he’s still alive. He wonders if he heard a loud boom. Hayden says he’s not delirious, but nothing is raining down on them, so they must be okay. He asks what she’s going to do when she gets out. She tells him she’s going to help him kick his addiction. He asks why she’s wasting her time with him. She says he never ran, so she isn’t either. He says if something bad happens, she doesn’t have to keep her promise. She tells him that nothing bad will happen. A voice on the loudspeaker says the evacuation is officially over an everyone get back to work

Jason asks about Emily, and Sam says they need to get her and go home. Jason tells Sam that she’s going back to bed in the hospital. She makes him promise to come with her.

Jordan follows-up on Olivia-J. Curtis comes in. Jordan says he didn’t have to do what he did. He says he’s practically an expert. She mentions some case and says it doesn’t count, but he says he’s two for two. He wants her to admit she’s glad he’s alive. He reminds her that she was also knocked unconscious, and needs to see a doctor.

Franco sees Elizabeth and kisses her.

There’s a knock on Ava’s door. It’s Carly, who starts to bang on the door like a lunatic. Ava tells Carly she’s no longer a suspect, and there’s proof someone else planted the bomb.

Julian sees Alexis on the footbridge. Olivia puts a gun in his back and says right on time.

Elizabeth and Franco find Finn and Hayden. Elizabeth asks if Finn is sick, and Hayden says he’s going through withdrawal.

Sonny comes by Sam’s room. He says he heard Jason saved the day, but Jason says Curtis did most of the work. Sonny checks out Emily, saying she’ll give Avery a run for her money. Sam says she knows he’s thinking about Morgan, and she’s sorry. He says nothing to be sorry about; the baby is a blessing.

Carly says everyone kept telling her that Ava couldn’t be guilty, but Julian was talking to his sister on the recording. Ava says he was talking to his sister, but not to her. He was talking to the sister who supposedly died in 1990, but didn’t. She shows Carly an article about Olivia-J on her tablet, and says Carly can apologize now. Carly looks at Olivia’s picture and says she killed my son.

Julian tells Olivia-J to let Alexis go; she has nothing to do with it. Olivia says she has everything to do with it. She wants him to feel the same pain she did when he murdered Duke, and she lost the love of her life. The difference is, she isn’t going to kill Alexis, Julian is.

Elizabeth says she’ll help Finn, but she can’t let him go back to work in his condition. Hayden asks if she’s going to report him, but Elizabeth says his secret is safe as long as he takes a leave of absence.

Jordan tells Curtis that she feels fine, and there’s a madwoman running loose. He says as soon as she gets checked out, she can go back to work. He tells her that it’s good she has someone looking out for her.

Out in the hallway, Jason explains to Sonny about Olivia-J. He says it was only a matter of time before she made a mistake. He tells Sonny to go home to Carly, but Sonny says she wants nothing to do with him. Jason asks if she knows about Nelle. Sam pops out, saying that Emily is done eating. She asks if Sonny is all right. He says the woman who killed his son is still out there

Carly asks if Ava believes Olivia-J is alive. Ava says considering she saw her, she doesn’t have much choice. Carly asks why she didn’t call police, and Ava tells her that Olivia had her tied up and threatened the safety of someone she cares about. Carly says she thought that Ava cared about Morgan. Carly tells Ava that she doesn’t want the police finding Olivia; she wants to find her first, and make her pay in ways she couldn’t imagine. Ava says she guesses prison won’t suffice, and Carly asks if it would had it been Kiki? Ava says no, but keep in mind that it wasn’t Olivia’s intention. Morgan shouldn’t have been in the car. Carly says you don’t get to plant a bomb and say oops, didn’t mean it, when there’s collateral damage. There’s nothing she could say or do to get Carly to forgive her.

Olivia-J tells Julian that he’s going to shoot Alexis. He laughs, saying that she’s missing the mark. He says Alexis and he are done; they have no love for each other. Olivia says that any fool can see he’s madly in love with her. She’s learned that pain and love are two sides of the same coin, and he’s learning that lesson. If he doesn’t do it, she will. She gives him the gun. He tells Alexis that he’s sorry, and shoots.

Sonny tells Jason and Sam to cherish every moment with the baby. He leaves, and Sam says she feels awful for him. Jason agrees, and asks how she is. She says fine right now, and snuggles against him.

Finn signs a request for a leave of absence, and thanks Elizabeth for her discretion. She says just make it count. Franco brings in a wheelchair to take Elizabeth back to work. Finn wants to take Hayden up on her offer of help, but feels that it’s something he needs to do on his own.

Dante confirms to Jordan that she needs to be checked out. Curtis is glad for another voice of reason.

The chain on the handcuffs is broken. Julian tells Alexis to run.

Epiphany comes to get Jordan. Jordan tells Curtis that he doesn’t have to wait, but he says he does.

Carly picks up an empty martini glass, and asks Ava if it was Olivia-J’s. Ava says Julian always said that Olivia was a lunatic, and he wasn’t kidding. She tells Carly that she doesn’t want to repeat the experience of meeting her, and Carly says she won’t have to, and smashes the glass against the wall.

Sonny calls in favors. He wants the bitch who killed his son.

Julian and Olivia-J struggle over the gun. Alexis starts to run and a shot goes off. Olivia looks into the water. Well, either Julian is in the water or Olivia is going to keel over into it.

Tomorrow, Carly talks to Morgan some more, Sonny asks Curtis for help, and Jake refuses to talk about what happened on the island with Helena.

Vanderpump Rules

Tom plays a trumpet while dog Charlotte gives him the side eye. Jax stops by, and asks about bringing Tom’s triplet brothers in for the wedding. He’s concerned about the expense because they’ve waited until the last minute. The triplets still live at home in Yuli, Florida. I mention the town because Tom says it’s some place no one has heard of, but I just sent an eBay order there not that long ago. Tom calls and asks if the brothers can make it if he and Jax spring for the tickets. Tom wants it to be a surprise, and Jax seconds that. Jax says the triplets love their brother, but aren’t the most responsible guys on the planet. I’d say so, since they’re still living at home and they’re not children. Or even college students.

The bridesmaids go for a fitting. Nice dresses! Katie shows up, and is impressed with how the girls look. She says everyone is going to look fantastic, especially her. Well, let’s hope so.

Schwartz has the responsibility of going to Dylan’s Candy Bar and getting candy for the wedding favors. Jax loads up on candy corn, and Tom says he’d rather let Jax bang his girlfriend than eat candy corn. I don’t know about that, but I personally find candy corn stomach-turning. Jax calls it a favorite Halloween treat. I didn’t even like it when I was a kid. It was one of those dud candies. Chocolate or die.

Stassi talks about some upcoming dates, but she doesn’t want to bring anyone to the wedding. She wants to hang out with her friends and stalk the eligible bachelors. They discuss Katie working on her anger issues.

Schwartz says he fell apart in NOLA and was a mess. Now, moving forward, he’s left lingering resentments behind. I’d actually be more concerned about Katie’s lingering resentments.

At SUR, Katie tells Jax and Scheana about her date night with Schwartz. Scheana says better to fix the problems now than after they have kids. She’s thinking about next summer for her, but Jax thinks that’s too soon. They talk about Stassi dating again. Scheana tells them that Shay is working on something special for her in the studio, but Jax wonders if it’s just avoidance.

Lisa finds two horses outside of the restaurant. She says there’s always an aura of magic and surprise in West Hollywood, and always expect the unexpected. She gets on one of the horses and rides into the restaurant. Not really, she rode about half a block, but that would have been cool.

In the restaurant, Lisa tells Jax he needs to be more heavy-handed in pouring Sangria. She tells him the glass is barely wet and in her interview, says he pours for her like he’s her date on prom night. He tells Lisa about Scheana wanting kids soon, and thinks Shay is avoiding her. He says he’s always thought she could do better, but Lisa says it’s not her business unless Scheana makes it her business. Thank you. And I wouldn’t blame Shay for avoiding this crowd if he wants to stay sober. I’m sure they have other friends, right? Right?

Stassi is doing a photo shoot to get her mojo back. If some of the photos are hot and not too risqué, she’s going to use them for her dating app. Seeing Tom dressed as a woman has encouraged her to up her game. She talks to Katie about the wedding, and says it’s getting real now. She realized how much she cared about their friendship when they were apart, and says it feels good to be friends again. The photographer has Stassi put on a barely there body suit. Stassi says there’s something liberating about letting it all hang out.

Brittany scares Jax by telling him that she discussed Schwartz’s with Kristen. She tells him to calm down, and reminds him that he’s the one with the biggest mouth in town. He claims Kristen is worse, but, no.

Raquel’s mother and sister come to visit. James says that dating her is a world of difference from dating Kristen, and I’m not repeating the analogy he gives. James tells them that he’s not working at SUR or PUMP anymore. He says he kept getting into “situations.” We flash back to him getting drunk and behaving like a rabid animal, and Lisa telling him that he’s turning into an a-hole before her eyes. He says he has a gig at a new restaurant, and he hasn’t been drinking. He promises that he loves Raquel, and the family thing means a lot to him. In his interview, he talks about his parents’ divorce, gets all teary, and says he sees a future with Raquel. Her mother proposes a toast, and everyone loves everyone.

Katie and Schwartz are getting ready to leave for the wedding. Stassi comes over to help them. They’re bringing a cake and a piñata. Stassi says the piñata is probably filled with condoms, gummi bears, Ninja Turtle action figures, and maybe some weed. Ha-ha! I love Stassi’s sense of humor. Schwartz says they like taking road trips, and he likes Katie doing the driving. Stassi takes a going away picture.

Lala shows up at SUR while Ariana is on her break. In her interview, Ariana says she hasn’t seen Lala since the birthday debacle, and it sounds like she’s not too interested. Lala has some things to say in person. She’s serious about how sorry she is. She tells Ariana that she’s embarrassed about her actions in not showing up for Ariana’s birthday. Ariana has been a good friend, and she’s sorry how she handled things. She tells Ariana that sometimes when she can’t manage her life, she goes into shut-down mode. In her interview, Ariana says she wants to give Lala another chance, but she’s not going to pretend nothing happened. Lala asks if Lisa is there, and asks Ariana to pray and/or give good vibes. She goes inside.

Lisa asks Lala what the hell happened. Lala explains about shutting down, and how when that happens, it’s f-u to everyone, and she does what she wants to do. Lisa says owning it doesn’t absolve her from taking responsibility. She had Lala’s back, and Lala let everyone down. Lala says she feels embarrassed and awful. Lisa says she left them hanging, but they survived without her. She doesn’t think Lala was honest with her life, and Lala says she doesn’t think anyone there is worthy of hearing about her life. Not too entitled sounding. Lisa is like fine, keep your life private then, but when you lie, don’t expect people not to call you on it. Lala gets weepy and says she’s different from other people, and her anxiety prevents her from doing a lot of things. Lisa tells her to grow from it. In her interview, Lisa says Lala’s entire strategy is being young and pretty, which isn’t going to last forever. She tells Lala to keep in touch.

Tom tells Katie he’s excited, but he misses his brothers.

Kristen and Carter are packing. Kristen explains the logistics. She asks if he knows about Schwartz’s brothers, and tells him about the surprise. She whispers like Schwartz is in the next room.

Oooh! A bear! Katie says it’s the first bear she’s seen, and Schwartz says there are bears all over West Hollywood. HAHA! (Google it.) They get to the cabin, and the venue people help them with the cake. The co-owner goes over expenses. An extra 10K for the flower additions. I faint. Aside from my bouquet, and bud vases for the tables, my flower budget was zippity-doo-da. I couldn’t justify buying flowers for an hour’s service, and the caterer/planner decided on the centerpieces. $51,058 is the grand total. I pick myself back up off of the floor again, and I can’t even repeat what Schwartz says in his interview. That’s a lot of money for a wedding in the woods. Katie thinks they should drink, write the check, and chill. I’d have to down a lot of booze to write a check in that amount for anything except real estate. I’d have to be drunk to begin with to spend that much on a wedding.

Kristen and Carter arrive. Schwartz says he could be clear of student loan debt, but instead he’s writing a check for flowers and a buffet. Student loans for what? Schwartz has a degree? What is he doing with his life? Stassi is next, bearing the piñata. Her friend Rachael is with her. They had some travel problems, and she says they ended up having to navigate by the stars. Katie tells her about the bear. She can’t believe everything the group has been through, and says being there together is a testament about how much they care about each other. She feels lucky to have a “framly.”

Tom missed his flight because he forgot his suit, but I don’t know if that’s just a story to cover for picking up the brothers. Schwartz talks about his dad not coming because of a flying fear, his sister having to work, and that his brothers not coming because of finances. I’m thinking if the wedding cost that much, what was another $1500 to get them there (which is what it ended up costing for three tickets at the last minute).

Jax says Schwartz’s brothers share a cell phone, so communication hasn’t been the greatest. He’s not going to relax until they’ve arrived.

Scheana is looking forward to spending time with Shay. She shows Shay a pantsuit she’s considering for the rehearsal dinner. He tells her that when he does laundry, he doesn’t even know what half the things are that she wears.

Giggy! Harrison! Lisa and Ken arrive with the dogs, Pandora, and her husband. The desk clerk tells them about the great hiking nearby, and Lisa says the last time she did a hike, it was to Neiman Marcus. Their room is bi-level and beautiful. Lisa can’t believe this is actually happening. Ken wonders If Schwartz is going to back out. We flash back to a few times when he’s quit what he started. Giggy!

Everyone manages to get to the venue in one piece, minus Tom. Schwartz tells Jax that his and Brittany’s room is where the saloon used to be. Ariana says Tom made it to the gate just as it closed, and she could see his nose pressed against the window glass as the plane took off. Okay, she didn’t say that exactly, but that was my mental picture. Jax tells Brittany he has to call Tom, since Schwartz’s brothers missed the flight

Next time, the gang goes tubing, the piñata happens, lots of booze is consumed, the brothers arrive, and the wedding begins.

🏖 Summer is finally over on Summer House. The most boring show ever. Weekend at Bernie’s is a better illustration of the Hamptons. It was tough for me to keep the names straight. Everyone looked alike, and I swear all the girls were named Lindsay. There was a Kyle and a Carl for God’s sake. Kyle was one of the few I could decipher, probably because the show started with him striking out with Stassi, who was spending a weekend there. In the finale, he made a commitment to his girlfriend, Amanda, whom he invited out for the final weekend. Most likely after discovering that no one else would have him. Sadly, the Pegasus pool float didn’t make it, and Carl had to stage a burial. He said that Pegasus deflated was the perfect metaphor for the summer, and I tend to agree. There was no indication of a reunion. Hope this group enjoyed the fifteen minutes they got off of Stassi’s coattails.

🍑 On The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Phaedra staged a weird friendship intervention that she called a “restoration meeting.” This made it sound like there was something spiritual about it, but it was more like a grievance airing. Cynthia could barely keep her eyes open, and to no one’s surprise, Porsha couldn’t understand why it was bad to make up criminally prosecutable lies about Kandi when she felt hurt. While for a moment, it was disquieting to think that Phaedra could be the voice of reason, as Kandi so aptly put it, the meeting was an epic fail. The saddest thing was Sheree having a come-to-Jesus moment about her ex, Bob Whitfield, who still doesn’t understand what he did wrong.

🗽 The Real Housewives of New York: How They Got Here airs on Wednesday, March 15, at 9 pm. As with Southern Charm, it’s a retrospective. I guess this is a thing now, and who can blame Bravo? Why not milk the franchises for all they’re worth? I’d hate to be that guy – and you know there was one – who thought Bravo was a complete waste of time and effort and would never turn a profit. Hopefully, he didn’t sell his stock.