Category Archives: Teresa Giudice

Sep26

September 25, 2016 – Storybrooke is Back, Travis & Chris Part Ways, & New Jersey Goes to Vermont

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

Like Willy Wonka, I am striking that and reversing it on Sunday nights, and it’s zombies before Wives. Now that Once Upon a Time is back, I had to switch my TV viewing sequence around.

Once Upon a Time

We are in an Arabian kingdom, flying carpets and all. A man says the kingdom is in great danger and they need a savior, but the savior is not seeing anyone today. The man is persistent and Jafar pops out and turns him into dust, along with the woman who was fielding the savior’s visitors. Jafar tells the savior that when they met, he was a common thief, and the fate of saviors is to give, breaking off their branches until all that’s left is a shaky stump. He says you never hear the words “happily ever after” about a savior. It’s Aladdin he’s talking to and he tells him to take care.

Hook and Emma are making out on the couch. The earth moves, but not in a good way. They go outside and see a ship floating through the air – awesome! It’s a dirigible from The Land of Untold Stories. Hyde appears, tells everyone that it’s his and that The Dark One gave him the town.

Regina and Emma zap Hyde, but he just laughs. He says nothing is more dangerous than an untold story and the people who don’t want them told. The dirigible crashes in the forest.

Emma and the others check it out. Snow says it looks like the people inside ran. Jekyll says he may be able to salvage a weapon to take down the stranger. Emma has a vision about fighting someone. Hook asks her what’s up, but she says nothing.

Rumple looks for Hyde. He’s exchanged the keys to Storybrooke for the answer to waking Belle. Hyde has told him in the Temple of Morpheus there are sands that will allow him to walk in Belle’s dreams and he can wake her from there. Rumple uses the sand and meets Morpheus in the forest. He tells Rumple welcome to Belle’s dream world and asks if he’d like to wake her up.

Regina visits Zelena and tells her what happened with Hyde. Zelena suggests barbecuing Hyde and puts her daughter down for a nap. Regina says nothing is working and they need to plan. Zelena has an arrow feather from Robin for her, but can’t find it. Regina puts a protection spell over the house and the vault.

Snow tells Regina that Jekyll finished his weapon, so they might not have to worry about protection. Regina tells Snow about Zelena forgetting where she put the feather, which she thinks is odd behavior. She decides to forget about it for now, since heroism comes first.

Hyde is holed up at the town hall. Regina pretends to have Jekyll prisoner to lure him outside. She tells Hyde to leave town and Jekyll is his. He suggests she keep both Jekyll and Storybrooke, and not embarrass herself. She distracts him while Emma aims Jekyll’s weapon, which looks like a small mortar, but she has another vision. She starts to shake and Regina almost gets strangled by Hyde. Emma finally shoots and Hyde becomes their prisoner. He tells Emma that he knows more than she does, and if she wants to know what’s happening to her, she knows where to find him.

Emma is all weird and shaky, while she’s messing around the dirigible. Archie (otherwise known as Jiminy Cricket) and Pongo come by with coffee. Emma says her parents must have sent him and she’s not in the mood for therapy right now. He says she’s been fighting forever and now that the walls are down, it’s let in collateral damage. He says there are no short cuts to fixing the big problems.

Emma goes to see Hyde. He calls her a smart girl, and she says keep calling her girl and he’ll find out how smart she is. He wants her to take off the cuffs. He says prisoners respond to carrots and sticks and she has neither. She starts to leave and he says he knows about the battle in her mind’s eye. She tells him that she’s been in prison and the worst part was being alone. She says she knows how he feels, and he can spill the beans or stay lonely. He can sit there in silence and rot. Hyde says she did come with a stick after all and it’s impressive except for one small thing – she’s afraid of him. He tells her he brought someone to help her with her problem, and to follow the red bird. He wonders if she’s ready for her story though.

I swear Rumple just said Belle is dreaming about White Castle, but I guess he said the white castle. He and Morpheus go into the castle and Belle acts like a servant. Morpheus tells Rumple that’s how she sees herself in her dream and he’s a beast. Morpheus sets up a giant hourglass timer. He says if Rumple doesn’t wake Belle in an hour, she’ll end up with a fiery fate. Rumple says he’ll make her fall in love with him again.

Morpheus says the castle terrifies Belle, but Rumple says it’s also where they fell in love. He says his love for her and their child will never be a lie. Belle brings tea and Rumple comes out in full Rumple regalia. Belle is all nervous and drops a cup, but he says everything is cool and maybe she should take a break. She asks him what’s going on. He says he has a ball to attend later and he asks her to dance. They dance to the music from Beauty and the Beast. He says there’s one more thing they need and he zaps the yellow ballgown onto her. She asks what’s come over him, and he says maybe he’s tired of being a beast. Very nice scene.

Zelena comes to Regina’s house and asks her if she got Hyde. Regina says yes, but it’s the first time she’s been back since Robin died. She asks Zelena to go. Zelena says they should be helping each other, but Regina says not this time because she blames Zelena. Zelena says what about Emma, who dragged her to hell? Regina says she chose to go, but she trusted Zelena, and Robin’s soul was destroyed. Zelena says Regina ripped out the part of her that made them most alike. Zelena says she and the baby will be gone by tonight, and she disappears poof! in a puff of green smoke.

Snow and the gang look for the people from the dirigible. Snow can tell that they’re afraid. She calls to them, saying Hyde is locked up and they want to help. They see shadows of people with torches come out of the forest. Snow tells them they’ll be at Granny’s where there’s food and shelter for them.

Emma walks through the forest with Hook and sees the red bird. She asks him to go and he knows something is up, but leaves. Emma follows the red bird. She sees a girl who says the bird is her pet. She says she knows many things, including why Emma is there. She says the visions tell a story of her future.

Regina is doing a locator spell when Henry walks in. She’s trying to find the feather and Henry says it’s not working because it’s looking for Robin and he’s gone. Regina says Hades told her that Robin’s soul was destroyed, but Henry believes that he’s in a special place.

Belle and Rumple dance. She says it’s a shame he’s been alone for so long and he says he wasn’t always alone; there was a son who left because he saw the darkness. Rumple says he had a chance to change but was too frightened. Belle asks if he could change now, would he? He says for her, he would be the best man he could be. They kiss.

All of the memories come flooding back. Belle says they’ve done this before and she can’t do this again. He explains they fell in love and got married and now their child is in danger. She put herself to sleep, but he needs her to wake up now. She says she loves him and believes he loves her, but together they cause heartbreak. Morpheus pops in and says he had to be sure Belle wouldn’t fall for Rumple’s lies again. Now he can wake her up with true loves kiss. She says she doesn’t know him and he says she’s known him since the day he was conceived. He’s their son and it’s his dream too. He says don’t let Rumple destroy them like he did his lost family.

Morpheus gives Belle a kiss on the forehead and she wakes up. Belle tells Rumple that their son was testing her, pretending to be Morpheus. Rumple says they can discuss it at home and makes sparkly, blue swirly things in the mirror. Belle says her son gave her a warning and she’s going to listen, and walks into the mirror.

The girl says she’s called an oracle, but knowing the future is a heavy burden. Emma sees herself battling a hooded figure. The Storybrooke crew are running toward them as Emma’s sword gets knocked from her hand. She tells the hooded figure she’s not going to let them get hurt. Her hand starts to shake and he runs his sword through her. The oracle says this is just a small piece of her end story. She can change the destination, but the result will be the same. She’ll die in the battle she saw. Since no one really dies on this show, I wouldn’t be too worried.

Emma goes back to Hyde. She asks him what’s coming and how to stop it. She says no matter what, she’ll defeat it. He says that’s what saviors always say, but there’s always a villain to bring them down. She has to ask herself if helping others is what causes her story to end.

Emma joins Hook at the bar. He says she’s in a better mood, and she tells him it was just stress, and Archie helped her. He asks if she’s sure and she says she is, and joins him in having a drink.

Snow tells Regina it will work out. Snow takes Regina’s hand and Regina says she was an awful stepmother. Snow says that’s in the past. Regina asks how she held up during those terrible times. She says the only way she could stay alive was to never give up and Regina is the one who taught her that hope is a choice. Regina says Hades was wrong; Robin is at peace. She’s been thinking about how the people with untold stories were hiding, and she says that’s exactly what she used to do. Her life had stopped. The only story she heard was the one she told herself, that she was the evil queen. She forgot the most important thing, that life isn’t just one story, there’s many. To some, she’s a villain, but to others, she’s a hero. They see her strength and ability to do right, even when she thought she couldn’t. She’s going to start a new story and chooses to believe this story will have a better ending.than the last one.

They walk off together, and we see a feather drop to the ground.

The untold story people are at Granny’s getting clothing and food. Belle looks out from inside Mr. Gold’s shop. Emma is looking mighty shaky.

Zelena comes home and sees Regina. No, it’s the Evil Queen. She tells Zelena that all she ever wanted was a sister, and when she got her wish, it was the wrong one. Zelena is shocked the Evil Queen is alive and she says she can’t be gotten rid of that easily. The Evil Queen suggest they have a drink and that it’s time for some sisterly bonding.

This season, the secret of the savior is revealed, Cinderella joins the team, and the Evil Queen and Zelena join forces.

Fear the Walking Dead

A crowd of people beg to come into the hotel. Alicia says it’s a mistake, they don’t have anything. Madison says sorry. The people grab at the gate. There is shouting and crying. Madison sees Travis among them.

Poor Mr Spanish Guy lies dead with Chris standing over him. Baby James is still alive. Travis takes charge and says he’s going to try and stitch up the wound. He runs to the house to look for whatever he can find, rifling through drawers. Surprisingly, he’s quite good at stitching, even though Baby James is twitching and whining the whole time. Now he has to do the exit wound. He says after he does that, they won’t move him until he’s better and Baby James finally shuts up. He ain’t called Baby for nothin’. I’m very impressed at both Travis’s cool and his skills.

Travis buries Mr. Whatever-the-hell-his-name-is with his family. Suarez! It’s Suarez. Now that he’s in the ground, I have his name. Travis is working on some kind of adrenaline because he’s just flying through all this.

The guys cook a chicken for dinner. Travis asks Baby James how he’s doing. His pain is only level 3 or 4, so he’s doing pretty well. Travis says he can’t help him if he doesn’t know what’s going on, so if anything gets worse, let him know. Travis asks Chris to talk. He tells Chris he killed a man today, and the least he could do is let it affect his appetite. Travis wants to know what he’s thinking. Chris says the guy shot his friend, what was he supposed to do? Travis says they’re savages. Chris says this is how it works now – no more good or bad, no right or wrong, it’s kill or be killed, sorrynotsorry. He tells Travis how he would hide every recess in middle-school and Travis told him to play along and fit in. Travis says the operative phrase was play along. Chris says Travis has proved his worth, and be careful how he plays it because they need theses guys .Travis says he doesn’t need them, but Chris says he does.

Madison tells them to open the gate for Travis. They manage to get Travis through a small opening while keeping the others out. He and Madison cling to each other.

Travis looks out from a balcony. Madison asks if he wants a shower, but he says no. You sure about that? She asks if he wants food and he says he doesn’t need anything. He asks where Victor is, and she says he ran off, possibly to Tijuana. She asks about Chris. Travis gets a weird look on his face and goes inside. He tells her he had no choice and she asks where Chris is.

We go back to earlier. The chickens have run out, so it’s moving day. Baby James claims his pain is at zero, but Travis is skeptical. The guys want to go to San Diego. Travis repeats that it’s burned and Chris says they never actually saw that. The guys all insist on leaving, but frankly, I think James looks scared.

Travis looks at Mr. Suarez’s grave and then goes inside the house .He looks at all the family pictures on the walls. Damn. And I thought I had a lot of photos. He finds Mr Suarez’s license and makes a grave marker using the info. Like this means anything. Chris says they’re leaving, and Travis says too bad, he’s finishing this.

Travis joins the rest and they slide Baby James into the bed of the truck. He doesn’t sound like his pain is a zero. Travis rides in the back with Baby James and Chris. They start off and already James isn’t looking too good. Travis checks his pulse and tells them if they don’t stop, Baby James is going to die. He barely has a pulse. They go back.

Travis hears Chris talking with the others. Travis tells them they need to give Baby James more time. He says they can survive there for enough time for James to heal. He tells them Baby James is scared of them, and he’s starting to get why. Travis grabs Chris’s gun. One of the guys says he doesn’t have the balls to use it and Travis shoots close. The guy jumps up, brandishing his own gun. Chris asks why Travis is doing this and he says he’s doing it for him.

Travis tends to Baby James. He tells him his buddies want to put him down. Baby James asks why Travis thinks he agreed to get in the truck? He tells Travis about another friend, Troy. He was sick and they knew he was going to turn, and kept their promise to kill him if he did. He says when the time came, he begged them not to do it. Baby James ended up doing the dirty work. Travis says it’s all the same no matter where they go, just different people. He tells Baby James he’s not sick or dying, he just needs time. Baby James says it doesn’t matter, what matters is they think he is and he’s considered dead weight. Travis fingers the gun.

James sleeps while Travis guards him. Chris knocks at the barn door, saying he wants to talk and brought food. Travis tells him to set it down and frisks him. He says the others are down the road. Travis tells him to sit down. Chris says he gets it and Travis asks what he gets. Chris says he understands why Travis is trying to save people, because life matters. Chris says they’ve known Baby James since he was six and still want to kill him, so imagine what they might do to him. I wouldn’t trust this kid as far as I could throw him.

Yep. Travis is caught off-guard and Chris gets the better of him and lets the others in. Baby James begs for his life and Travis says don’t do it. Too late. Baby James is dead. I knew Chris was faking it – playing along. Travis is seriously bummed. Chris has his gun back and they guys pack the truck up again. Travis wants to talk to Chris. He tells Chris the name of the farmer and says he was born on Chris’s birthday. He tells Chris that this is forever and he’s barely 16. If he drives away, Travis will never find him. Chris tells him that his way doesn’t work. Travis promises to take care of him. Chris says by letting him go, he is. He says he’s adapting and better off without Travis. He says Travis found it in him to kill Chris’s zombified mother. Travis says there’s a difference and Chris says, no, there’s not, so that settles it. As they drive away, Travis begs Chris not to go. Then curses him out. I’ll bet we see Chris and the bros somewhere down the line again. Travis starts to walk.

Travis tells Madison he walked for two days and saw the hotel light, and what are the chances? He’s bummed about leaving Chris, but Madison tells him they’ll get through this. He says he failed his son and his wife. He goes back out on the balcony. Madison says he said it himself, there was no choice. Travis says he could have gone along with it. It would have been wrong, but he would have done right by Chris. Madison says he’s still out there. Travis says he was wrong when Chris threatened Alicia, and they should be parents first. Madison did what she was supposed to, but his priority should have been Chris. He says the whole time he was walking, he thought about how he should have told Chris he loved him. Instead, the last thing he said was “God damn you.” He says when Chris was a boy, he had a big heart, but by the time Madison met him, he was angry. Travis says he allowed Chris to become that way. He says they’re living minute by minute, and at any time, it could be over. He wishes he had ended things differently. Madison says she has to find Alicia and leaves.

Alicia and Andres are tending to the patients in a makeshift infirmary. Madison asks Alicia to come with her. They go out on the dock. Madison says there’s something Alicia needs to understand and to hear her out. She says it’s about Alicia’s father and his accident, and that it wasn’t an accident. She thought she was doing the right thing by not telling her. Alicia says Madison said he fell asleep at the wheel, and Madison says he didn’t. Alicia asks how she can be certain,  and Madison says he left a note in his glove box. Alicia starts to cry and asks what it said. Madison says it’s not important. He was a man of few words who could be quite precise. Alicia insists. It said, I love you all and enough’s enough.

Alicia asks if Nick knows. Madison says Nick is why she kept it a secret. She says there’s a lot of Alicia’s father in Nick. She lists his positive qualities and says he just couldn’t see it. She asks to hold Alicia’s hand. She says she was afraid of Nick ending up like her father, but she never loved Alicia any less. She just thought Alicia was all right. Alicia says she had to be and Madison apologizes. She hugs Alicia. Alicia says she loves Madison too.

Travis takes a shower. He stands with his forehead on the wall.

Uh-oh. Here comes trouble. A small group comes to the gate . It’s those guys, but I don’t see Chris.

Next time, the 2-hour finale, Travis finds Chris, Victor returns, and there are lots and lots of zombies to make up for this episode.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Love Melissa’s dress in the opening. I’ll bet I’d like the stuff in her store. If I could fit in it.

The end of the last episode repeats. At lunch, Rosie wonders if Teresa never wants to be a family again. Teresa says her heart got hardened and asks her to respect that. She says she wishes them the best. Kathy asks if they can at least come away with a possibility. Teresa says they’re cousins and will always be there for each other as family. She and Joe #2 leave.

Teresa starts to cry and does that fanning thing. She says it’s exhausting. Joe #2 talks about how they were taught to never cry. He tells Teresa if that’s how she feels, that’s how she feels, and she says she feels like she doesn’t want to be around Kathy and Rosie.

Siggy and Dolores visit Jacqueline. They want the skinny on what happened. Jacqueline calls Kathy and Rosie. Kathy says Teresa said she has a lot on her plate and wants to keep her distance right now, but her door is open. Kathy makes like everything went more okay than it was.

Teresa packs for Vermont while Milania does some break dancing. Teresa wants the girls to spend time with their father, since he’ll be going to the pokey away soon.

Joe #2 tells Melissa it’s good of her to plan the trip. He says Teresa was really stressed out by the lunch with Kathy and Rosie, and thinks she could use the break. Melissa wants everyone to just have fun and not worry about anything. Good luck with that. Mutual friends Robyn and Christina are also coming. She tells Joe about how Jacqueline and Teresa seem to be doing better, but thinks Jacqueline still doubts Teresa and is paranoid of Melissa’s friendship with her.

Kim D (who the name Plastic would actually fit) is at her store, Posche. We flash back to the stupid fashion show she had where she tried to “expose” Melissa as a stripper. Or as Melissa says it, “shtripper.” Jacqueline and Siggy come in. Kim gossips about Melissa’s store and says that one of her assistants is selling stories. Jacqueline brings up Teresa selling books for cash at a time when it looked badly for her, and how it was leaked to the press. Siggy talks about how Melissa and Teresa are getting along better, but Kim D will have none of that, saying it’s all an act.

Joe #1 looks at a brochure on vaginal rejuvenation. I don’t want to know. Robyn and Christina arrive with their suitcases, as well a Melissa and Joe #2. The party bus comes with Jacqueline and Chris, and everyone gets on it. Since Joe #1 has been a bad boy, he can’t come. He’s not allowed to leave the state.

They discuss skiing, and who is good at it or not, swapping war stories. Joe #2 has already had enough of all the ladies talking at once. Siggy offers Teresa any help she might need when she’s a “single mother.” Chris says he’s the only one she can count on, and Joe brings up him trying to date Teresa. Chris says she was only interested in Joe #1.

Somehow the lunch comes up. Teresa compares it to breaking up with a guy – you still love him, but there’s nothing there. Robyn talks about actions speaking louder than words, but Dolores says they’re good people. We flash back to an issue Robyn had with Rosie. She says Rosie won’t even acknowledge her. In her interview, Jacqueline calls Robyn one of “Teresa’s soldiers,” and she questions Teresa having changed. Melissa says there seems to be no meeting of the minds, and Jacqueline starts getting loud about the message not having been clear. Melissa thinks she’s trying to push the relationship. Jacqueline says that if Teresa doesn’t want it, she totally gets it, but she needs to make it understood. Joe interjects that they might have gotten the wrong message when she said her door was open. Melissa opens some champagne. In her interview, Dolores says Robyn doesn’t really mesh well with the others.

After eight hours, they finally arrive and go immediately to the bar. They’ve rented a villa, and the suites or whatever are divvied up. Siggy tries on the many hats she’s brought with her.

Dinner time! All the women have their bathrobes on over their clothes. I have no clue why. It’s a family style meal and looks pretty damn good. Melissa announces her fashion show. Teresa thanks everyone for hanging out with her before Joe #1 leaves. Everyone says something positive and they toast. Joe #2 and Chris play shuffleboard (except it’s like a foosball table) and the girls go outside by the fire-pit.

Jacqueline tells Melissa what Kim D said about her assistant Derek and how he’s selling stories. In her interview, Melissa says Kim D is scraping the bottom of the barrel for gossip. She reminds the others about Kim D stirring the pot, trying to out her as the shtripper she never was. We flash back to that, and also a problem that Kim started between Jacqueline and Teresa. Teresa suggests Melissa just check Derek out.

Joe #2 talks to Chris about being glad he was born a man when he hears the girls bitching. Robyn tells Jacqueline she’s confusing and not very direct. She feels that Jacqueline tried to attack her and Jacqueline talks about her being a “loyal soldier” to Teresa. Robyn suggests they bring Teresa into the conversation, and in her interview, Jacqueline wonders why Robyn wants to drag Teresa into it. Um, maybe because you’re talking about her? Robyn asks Jacqueline what her problem is, and she says she wants to rage on Jacqueline’s ass. Jacqueline says bring it on and they tell each other to STFU and do that “no, you” stuff that I find funny coming from adults.

Jacqueline gets up and gets in Robyn’s face. Teresa comes out and asks what’s happening and they continue their argument. In her interview, Teresa says she’s never seen Robyn like this and wouldn’t be surprised if Jacqueline crossed the line. They go inside and Jacqueline keeps it up. Robyn calls her an instigator and Jacqueline tells Teresa she thought she’d cleaned house, but she forgot to take out the garbage. She’s so nasty. Or vicious, as Michael Rapaport would say.

Meanwhile back at Teresa’s house, Milania tries to cook while Joe #1 gives instructions like, don’t burn that. I can tell he’s at the end of his rope already and it’s only early morning.

Jacqueline refuses to come out of her room because she’s five years old. Teresa says she antagonizes the situation (ha-ha – I think she means aggravates) and then plays the victim. Truth! Melissa comes to breakfast in a bizarre ski outfit. Teresa asks Dolores why Jacqueline isn’t coming out and Dolores says she’s bummed. Poor baby.

Jacqueline tells Chris about how Robyn said she wanted her ass, so she sat one her. Chris says they’re out of control.

The rest of the group goes to a dog sledding place. Dolores totally loves on one of the dogs. Teresa keeps saying she’s scared, but don’t they have three dogs, one of which is a German Shepherd? Everyone gets in the sleds and the dogs are super excited. We see everything all shaky-cam on the ride. Melissa says it’s too bad Jacqueline didn’t come and that she tends to create her own issues. Dolores has gotten a text telling them there’s nothing wrong and some TMI about Jacqueline and Chris.

Time to ski. Robyn immediately falls on her ass and continues to do so. Joe is next. I refuse to laugh because I’ve never been skiing and can just imagine. Teresa tells Melissa she’s glad they’re in a good place. She asks for help in understanding Jacqueline, because it doesn’t seem to be going as well. Melissa says her relationship with Jacqueline has changed, since she seems to be paranoid about trusting Teresa.

Siggy and Dolores go back to the villa and Jacqueline says since Chris has to leave, she wants to go too. She says the weekend is about Teresa and Robyn is her friend, so she thinks it’s for the best. Siggy gets ridiculous about how they won’t have a good time without her. In her interview, Dolores is upset because this new person is causing a problem. Frankly, I think Jacqueline is acting like a big baby. She claims to be fearful of Robyn, since she said she wanted to kick Jacqueline’s ass, but Jacqueline started it and she’s the one with the tough girl tagline. She always seems to be spoiling for a fight, but I guess the real truth is, she’s all mouth. Then again, didn’t she punch Caroline Manzo? And her daughter, Ashlee, is the one who pulled out Danielle Staub’s weave way back when. Yeah, now I need help understanding Jacqueline too.

In her interview, Teresa says that Jacqueline is calculated (um…calculating?) and hits you where it hurts.

Big baby Jacqueline packs. Dolores tells her that Teresa is on probation can’t be around any arguments. Jacqueline says if she stays there will be an argument, and they both whine about the new person. Siggy says they have to protect Teresa. Dolores says Robyn is a threat and they should tell her. Honestly, these women think everyone has short term memory loss. Robyn did not start this argument.

Next time, Teresa doesn’t want to ask Robyn to leave, Joe #2 says this is like a soap opera, Jacqueline wags her finger in Teresa and Melissa’s faces while pulling out her phone, and Dolores goes nuts.

Sep19

September 18, 2016 – NJ’s Teresa Confronts Her Cousins & FTD’s Strand Confronts a Knife

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Rosie, Jacqueline and Siggy meet for drinks. Jacqueline talks about Kathy and Rosie surprising Teresa at her book signing. Rosie wants Teresa back in their lives (whether Teresa wants it or not) and was hoping to make a lunch date. Siggy thinks it’s sad that they’re estranged and has high hopes for a reconciliation. Higher hopes than I do, since I basically have none. In her interview, Jacqueline says Teresa is mad at Kathy for things she’s said herself. We flash back to Rosie’s interruption of the last Wives reunion that Teresa attended. Rosie says Teresa didn’t act like she hated her, but she wanted more than that. Siggy says family is worth fighting for. Um…that depends on the family.

Melissa takes Joe #2 go for a Botox treatment. She tells him it will help his migraines and he says he has migraines from stuff like what happened at the book signing. He says family is supposed to pick you up when you’re going down, not agree with the one who’s pushing you down. The doctor comes in and Joe expresses his fear of needles. Melissa takes a picture as he gets his treatment. He suggests a gin chaser.

Ashlee is going with Pete to check out apartments. Pete suggests checking out Hoboken first. I was going to wrinkle my nose until I saw the view. I’m moving tomorrow. They go to an observation area and Pete asks her to marry him. Geez, no fanfare, no warning, no nothing. In her interview, Ashlee recalls dreaming about this moment as a little girl. This is the kind of moment she dreamt of? They nix looking at apartments, and decide to go home to give the family the big announcement. The ring gets my stamp of approval.

Ashlee asks Jacqueline if this dress makes her look fat and then asks if this ring makes her look engaged. Okay, that was kind of cute. Brother CJ and Chris join them. In his interview, Chris says, “She’s all yours, Pete – good luck.” Ha-ha! Champagne is brought out and they all have a toast.

What is up with the windows on Siggy’s house? There’s a huge blank space on the second floor. Jacqueline calls Siggy to tell her about the engagement. She also sends out a group text.

Teresa and Melissa are out for a walk. They discuss Joe #1‘s upcoming trip to camp. The conclusion is that women are stronger than men. Teresa says Joe isn’t taking it all that well, although he keeps saying he’s good. Teresa thinks it will be a plus for Joe to detox. In her interview, Melissa talks about how the men in the family put up a strong front. She feels that Teresa got more in touch with her feelings when she was away and they’re the closest they’ve been.

Siggy comes by Melissa’s place to pick up some jeans and have champagne. There must have been a sale. Teresa is going to join them, and they talk about how exhausted she seems. Melissa says she doesn’t think everything has hit her yet, but every time they talk, more trust is established. Melissa wants to take a group trip to Vermont before Joe #1 leaves and Teresa won’t be able to get away.

Teresa arrives and Melissa presents her idea. She says it will be the girls and Joe #2, but only if Chris will come, because he doesn’t want to be the only guy. Joe #1 isn’t allowed out of the state. After some gentle persuasion, Teresa agrees. Glasses clink.

Dolores is working at the gym. Jacqueline shows up with a Quarter Pounder, with cheese no less. Dolores tells Jacqueline about her idea to empower women and have a ladies weekend at the gym. Jacqueline checks out the equipment. They talk about Ashlee’s engagement. Jacqueline is glad Ashlee and Pete are taking their time, since her own wedding was a backyard affair and she Ashlee will have time to plan.

Jacqueline, Siggy and Teresa meet for drinks. Siggy tells Teresa about how upset Rosie was and how she wants to have lunch with Teresa. Teresa says now her father is involved, since Kathy called him a coward at the reunion. I’m guessing she doesn’t mean a hands-on kind of involvement, just that Kathy dragged his name into it. Jacqueline says that Kathy feels that Teresa started it, since she said something first about Kathy’s parents. Teresa brings up how Kathy and her aunt discussed Teresa’s culpability in going to prison and we flash back to that. In her interview, Teresa says they haven’t treated her well and it’s really none of Siggy’s business. I have to agree here. Even I’m feeling the strain. Teresa tells the girls that she isn’t ready for a relationship with her cousins, and wants to concentrate on her immediate family. Siggy tries to pressure her about the lunch and Teresa says she’ll think about it. She leaves to pick the girls up from school. Siggy tells Jacqueline this is deep, so they need to have hope.

Jacqueline and Siggy go to Kathy’s for lunch. Siggy tells them about meeting with Teresa and brings up what Kathy said about Teresa’s father. Kathy immediately gets excited and talks about how Teresa said things about her family, but at the end of the reunion said she forgave Kathy. Melissa and Joe join the crowd. Siggy starts crying. She’s upset about the whole lunch thing, since she doesn’t think it’s going to happen any time soon. Joe #2 says Teresa can’t forget right now and Melissa doesn’t want to get in the middle. Rich talks nonsense about what a happily married couple he and Kathy are, and that Teresa is jealous about that. Joe gets mighty pissed. He says they all know what Rich just did and it’s got to stop. Rich acts ignorant. Joe says something in Italian, which translates to, the tongue doesn’t have bones but can break bones. Rosie gets crazy, saying they all say whatever they want and it all falls on her sister and she won’t have it anymore. Rich says if Joe thinks he’s adding to the fire, he apologizes. To his credit, he says he’ll step back and stay out of it. In his interview, Joe says Teresa needs time to trust them. Finally everyone calms the hell down.

Joe #2 meets Teresa at the gym. He tells her about Kathy and Rich. Teresa says that she’s tired of hearing about it. She says she doens’t like Richie’s company and Joe blabs about what Richie said and how he intimated that Teresa and Joe don’t have love. She says this is exactly the kind of thing she doesn’t want in her life. Joe suggests she have lunch with the girls. She brings up their father being called a coward. He says until she tells them get lost, they’re not going away. Joe offers to come along and she says she’ll do it. That was really nice of him.

Rosie and Kathy show up early for the lunch. Kathy tells Rosie that she doesn’t want to dwell in the past. She says that their parents getting older puts things in perspective. In her interview, Rosie says despite what’s happened in the past few years, she loves the Giudices. She tells Kathy she wants to make her mother proud. Rosie gets all teary and lunch hasn’t even started yet.

In the car, Teresa explains to Joe #2 that she doesn’t enjoy Rosie and Kathy’s company and Joe says he wants them to hear it from her, so they let go. Teresa tells Joe that it breaks her heart that it trickled down to the parents.

Joe #2 and Teresa arrive. Teresa says she feels badly dragging Joe into the lunch. Kathy says she just wants to be a family again. Teresa says they’ll always be family, but she just wants to be left alone. She says Rich always has something negative to say and he’s a big part of the problem. Teresa asks if he has any feeling. A waiter brings menus and Teresa says they’re not eating. Oh, snap!

Teresa says she didn’t even get a card from them the whole time she was away. Kathy says Teresa also shut everyone out, but Teresa disagrees. She tells them she feels like now that she’s in the public eye again, they’re interested in her, and she wants to be around people who were there for her during the bad times. She says there’s been a lot of turmoil and she wants to cut the cancer out. Kathy says they’re not cancer, and Rosie asks if she’s saying she never wants to be a family again. No. She’s saying get off her back right now because you two are way past desperate and she just freakin’ got out of prison.

Teresa says her heart got hardened and asks if they can respect that. Rosie says she doesn’t want to beg. But you are, Blanche! You are! Teresa says she wishes them the best. Joe #2 wakes up and astutely observes that time mends all. Kathy says they’ve opened the door, so if they need anything, they’re here for each other. Teresa says her door is open if they ever need anything. Teresa and Joe leave. In her interview, Teresa says she’s glad there’s closure. She says she reached her breaking point, she’s had enough, and she’s done. She starts to cry on the way to the car, and does that fanning motion with her hand to dry the tears. She tells Joe its exhausting and he says it’s sad.

Next time, the Vermont trip happens. Melissa and Jacqueline argue, and some woman gets involved who I don’t recognize.

Fear the Walking Dead

Francisco, his wife Ana and little girl sneak around Colonia. They head toward the bus exit. The little girl is scared, and Francisco tells her to be calm and quiet. They go through the bus. Ana tells the girl not to look, and Francisco drags a zombie in and guts him. They put the blood on themselves and walk through the zombie horde. Nice crane shot.

The family goes to the outside. Francisco says they should be at another settlement by dark. They hear a truck and hide. Too late. They’ve been seen. Gang leader Marco asks if he knows them. Francisco says he doesn’t think so. Marco continues to question him. He talks to the little girl and Francisco gives him his backpack and asks him to leave them alone. Marco takes out a canteen and pours water over Francisco’s face. He knows Francisco is from Colonia and asks where the Oxy is. Francisco says they left it in Colonia, but Marco doesn’t believe him.

Ofelia is driving around who knows where. She kicks in the door to a restaurant and gives a zombie a hammer to the head. She makes noise to see if there are any others. She looks at the ocean view. She flashes back to when she was there another time with her boyfriend who’s telling her he’s taking a job in Santa Fe. He wants her to come with him and gives her a drink with a ring in it. She says New Mexico is so far, but he says her parents will be fine. He says he’ll talk to her dad and ask for her hand. She says she’s going to talk to her mother. They kiss.

Back to the present. Ofelia peruses a map and fills a gas can.

At the hotel, Madison, Victor and company get things going, putting on the electricity and fishing for food. Hector teaches Alicia some surfing moves and she talks about her brother. Hector asks where he is now, but she says she doesn’t know. She says he’s out there somewhere. She misses who he was, but maybe not who he is now. Hector says his brother is gone. Madison brings them ice water and tells them the generator is working.

Luci and Nick are in bed. There’s a knock at Luci’s door. A guy says Francisco is gone and he took his family. Luci is surprised that he’d desert them. Nick says he’ll help with the search.

Victor, Alicia, Madison and Elena are having some coffee – which must taste really good – in one of the hotel rooms. There’s a knock at the door. Victor answers and gets knifed for his trouble. It’s the mother-of-the-bride, Ilene. I gasp and say wtf? She babbles something about her daughter and leaves. Worst. Room. Service. Ever.

The ladies tend to Victor. One of the guests, Andres, says he had a year of medical training and Elena has Alicia get the first aid kit. Andres makes excuses for Ilene, but Victor says her grief is a little extreme. No vital organs have been hit, but they still don’t have what they need. Elena, Madison and Oscar decide to make a trip to Marco’s gang supermarket.

Luci tells Alejandro about Francisco leaving. He asks if she knew, but she says no. Alejandro says he’s a coward. Luci thinks Alejandro should speak to the people, and he tells her to gather their inner circle.

Victor tells Madison to keep the drinks coming. He thinks Ilene should be exiled, but Madison says she should be locked up indefinitely. It’s either that or the street. She says they can’t have violence and if anyone raises a hand to another, they’re out. She says it’s the only way this can work.

Alejandro makes a speech about how what lies beyond the wall is worse than death, a wasteland, the end. He says death will not take them if they stick together and have faith. He asks them to stand with him, and says they’re more together than apart. Nick looks unconvinced and asks Luci if Alejandro is okay. After the meeting, Luci tells Alejandro that they’re going out. He asks if she spoke to the scouts and she says not yet. He asks if she wants to follow Francisco. She says this is her home and her people and she wants to serve. He says to speak to the scouts then. Nick says if they don’t deliver the Oxy, the gang will come looking for them. Alejandro says they stay until he says differently. Yes, boss.

Madison tells Alicia and Andres to keep an eye on Victor. She says they’ll be back in two hours. She, Elena and Oscar leave in a truck. Madison asks what Elena and Hector were arguing about. Elena was hoping she could get his brother to come home. She says Antonio chose to stay with the gang and Hector won’t forgive him for it.

Nick asks Luci if she’s okay. She’s upset about what Alejandro said, but Nick says he’s just scared because the natives are getting restless. He tells her they have to get the people their meds. She says Alejandro has always known what he’s doing. Nick says the gang could come looking for them, but she says they stay, because she’s really stupid.

Elena, Madison and Oscar go to the gang supermarket. Elena asks for Antonio. Madison and Oscar set down a cooler. The guard says they can come in, but not the guy who’s with them, only Madison and Elena.

Nick visits Alejandro, who asks if Luci is all right. Nick says she will be, and Alejandro says she’s never questioned him before. Nick says if they don’t make the trade, he thinks the gang will come looking for them. He says the danger is now and real and out there. Alejandro gets testy about them not having faith. He says he never asked to be the one to make the decisions. Nick is like, so I should just follow you blindly? Alejandro says to trust him and says he trusts Nick. Apparently, not that much.

Elena sees Antonio and he tells her she shouldn’t have brought the Americano with her. He looks in the cooler and asks if they can get more fish. Elena tells him his brother asked about him. In the meantime, Francisco is upstairs, getting shaken down in Spanish. Madison asks Elena if they’re the ones being discussed, but Elena says he’s talking about a place called Colonia. As the questioning goes on, Elena translates and Madison realizes they’re talking about Nick. She starts to move toward the stairs and Elena is like, don’t do this.

Madison gets involved and asks if they’re talking about Nick. Elena tells her they walk away now or be killed. Antonio tells Elena to get out and don’t come back. Elena tries to get him to ditch the gang, but he says they won’t be there much longer.

Nick asks one of the scouts, Renaldo, to make the trade with him. He says they need water and Alejandro isn’t a rainmaker. Renaldo says Americans always want to fix someone else’s problems, but Nick says he just gives a sh*t. Renaldo tells him they’ll meet later.

Luci tells Nick that the people need reassurance. Instead of giving into fear, the people need to bring their concerns to Alejandro’s inner circle. Nick asks her to join him inside for a drink, but I think he means something else.

Andres tells Victor that his heart doesn’t have enough blood to pump to all the organs. Victor asks if he should write his will, but Andres says Madison will be back soon. Alicia takes over putting pressure on the wound. Victor tells Alicia she has a better bedside manner than Andres. She says she’s not going to tell him it’s going to be all right because it might not be, and he laughs, which is probably a bad idea. He says he changed his mind; her bedside manner is abysmal. They agree on not liking sugarcoating. He asks what she meant when she said she’d raised herself. She says Madison was busy with Nick and his drug addiction, and her father. He says she has Madison all to herself now, but Alicia says she didn’t want it like this, and she isn’t sure Madison sees her. Victor says make her then.

Nick looks down at the zombie wall. Marco is looking back through binoculars. It’s hard to tell if Nick sees him or he just happens to be looking that way.

Ofelia consults the map. She looks at her rosary and flashes back to being with her mother. They talk about their weekend. Ofelia says her father seems unhappy whether business is good or bad. Griselda says God whispered to her about this man and that he’s a hard man. She’s says she’s a hard woman, and they survived together and came there for Ofelia. She tells Ofelia she couldn’t imagine what they saw, the violence and the blood. They didn’t want that life for her. Griselda says that Ofelia’s father still has nightmares. They didn’t want her to live in fear and would have done anything for her, like Griselda would do anything for Ofelia’s father, because that’s love. Ofelia takes her mother’s hand.

Ofelia kisses the crucifix of her rosary and says she understands now. She starts the car and heads for the US.

When Madison and company return, Elena tells Alicia about Madison’s tangle with the gang. The neon light with the name of the hotel goes on, and Alicia tells Madison she’s inviting in the same people that they want to stay away. She says Madison risked everything for a rumor about someone who may or may not be Nick. Madison says she knows it’s Nick. Alicia doesn’t get it; Nick chose what’s out there over them. Madison says maybe he changed his mind. Alicia says she never changed hers and she’s there. Why isn’t that enough?

The hotel light is extinguished, but not before Travis sees it.

Next time, Travis is digging graves, Madison apologizes, Travis wants to make a break for it – Chris not so much, and Madison insists Nick is out there.

Sep12

September 11, 2016 – NJ Teresa Gets a Surprise at Her Book Signing & the Feared Dead Get a Surprise Plunge

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

We’ve already established that Joe #1 is getting mighty cranky the closer it gets to his time in the clink. Siggy says tradition is the glue that keeps the family together. She tries to educate her daughter in family history, but I think Sophie is more engaged with her phone. Son Joshua comes home and thinks he should get a car since he passed whatever grade he’s in. Siggy says all she had was a Smurf collection when she was young.

Dolores and Frank argue over the rules for their son. Frankie comes in and Dolores whines that he’s never home. He says since they don’t have a kitchen due to renovations, he’s been eating out with his friends a lot. Dolores wants Frankie to understand that he should be her shadow. Oddly enough, her son totally understands, but also stands his ground for a certain amount of freedom.

Teresa’s lawyer, Jim, comes over. Joe #1 is going to be in Freehold? That’s not far from me. They have a great mall. Jim tells Joe he has a tendency to be nice (!) and let the wrong people around him. I think this is a kinder, gentler way of him telling Joe that he’s an idiot for trying to let that felon into Teresa’s book party.

Joe #2 futilely tries to take care of his children. Melissa arrives home and he takes her to the movie theater. The one in their home. He tells her that he lost a big deal because he couldn’t make an auction, since he had to take care of the kids. She asks him why he didn’t call her and that she would have made other arrangements. She tells him welcome to the millennium and accuses him of being old school. She thanks him for manning up for his wife. He acts like she dropped out of a tree when they met, but she corrects this misconception. He tells her she brings in crumbs and he brings in the cake. The audience goes, doood! or at least I do. In her interview, she says she’ll throw the cake in his face. Go, Melissa! She says it’s not about money. She tells him he has goals and wants to feel successful, and he’s the one who taught her to work hard. She doesn’t want a guilt trip every time she walks in the door. She asks if she should hire help, but he doesn’t like that idea. She asks if they can drop it now so she can go see her kids. She’s done with this conversation.

Teresa and the two younger girls visit Jacqueline. Jacqueline wants the girls to be comfortable at her house again, since it’s been a while. Milania talks about a classmate who has autism like Jacqueline’s son. In her interview, Teresa says Milania takes after Joe #1 – she likes to act out, but inside she’s a softie. While the kids play, Jacqueline and Teresa have coffee. They talk about Nick’s autism and Jacqueline says they don’t know yet how functional he’ll be. The two of them hug it out yet again. We flash back to the ruckus Jacqueline caused when they last came to dinner.

Siggy visits Melissa, who complains about Joe #2 not liking her having a job. She says she’s not going to sit around eating bon-bons. In her interview, Melissa says that she would never let her professional life compromise her family life. Siggy says that a marriage is like a car, you have to put gas in it for it to move, but at the end of the day, Joe will wear the apron. Alrighty then,

Dolores joins the Wakiles for dinner, along with Rosie. Dolores talks about Teresa’s book party and Kathy tells her they weren’t invited. Rosie says they’ve barely seen Teresa since she got back. Kathy says she sent a text, but never received a reply. Kathy is concerned about her daughter, whose brain tumor is causing problems again, and she says that life is too short. She says true redemption is making peace and Teresa needs to put her namaste where her mouth is. In her interview, Dolores says that Italian family arguments are like a war. Rosie suggests they just show up for a book signing. Hmm… Probably not a good idea.

Teresa drags Joe #1 to a yoga massage. She says Joe is stressed, which is an under-statement, and she wants him to relax. She asks Joe what he’s told the girls. He says they’re not stupid and they’ve already been through it with Teresa. Teresa says she told them she was going to work to write a book. Joe says even Audriana knows where she was. Teresa says she’s not a bad person and the kids think bad people are in prison and she did write a book. Joe is like come on, they know. This is one of the moments that I think proves my point that Teresa was not smart enough to know what papers she was signing. I really do believe her about that one.

Dolores finally gets to the gym, and partner Maz isn’t thrilled that she hasn’t been showing up. She tells him about her dog dying and says she’ll be more dependable from now on. He says he can’t work this way and she’s letting a million dollar operation slide. In her interview, she says her fear and her comfort zone are holding her back. She tells Maz she’s going to prove herself. He wants specific advertising ideas to appeal to females. She wants to do a Saturday night ladies’ night and he suggests a weekend pass. She says she’s been there where you don’t think you deserve an hour to yourself and that’s her angle.

Melissa is making Sunday dinner for the family, including her sister and her family, and their mom. She thinks Joe #2 is missing pasta and having kids running around. She explains to her mom that things are different now and women want more. Her mom says it will work out with Joe. In his interview, Joe thanks Jesus. He says there hasn’t been a home cooked meal in months, but I’m thinking he’s exaggerating. In her interview, Melissa says everything she does is for her kids and husband, and she wants to be successful for her family.

Joe #2 insists he’s not old school, but he wants his wife at home. Melissa cuts that conversation short. The dinner looks wonderful and reminds me of Sunday dinners at my Aunt Agnes’s when I was a kid. We weren’t Italian, but my father’s sister married an Italian man who once bootlegged booze for the Mafia while she watched out for the Feds on the back of the truck. She could also cook, and the spread was amazing, everything from spaghetti and meatballs to kielbasa and sauerkraut, a staple of our side of the family’s Lithuanian heritage. Melissa asks someone to say grace and of course there’s always that one person who goes, “Grace!” The last time I heard that, I fell off my dinosaur.

Joe #1 compliments Teresa on the way to her book signing. She thanks him for coming along and he says this will be the last one before he leaves and after that, she’s on her own. She’s not ready to think about all that yet though.

Siggy’s ex-husband meets with her for a dinner out, celebrating Josh’s birthday. They got along so well as exes, she played matchmaker and he’s brought along his new wife and toddler. Siggy complains about how fast the kids grow and how Josh wants to be around anyone but her now. His father interjects that Josh has been complaining about privacy invasion, but it’s obvious they all care about each other and everyone gets teary and sappy.

Dolores is riding with Jacqueline and Chris to the book signing and tells Jacqueline about how Kathy feels. Jacqueline says that Teresa isn’t ready for whatever right now, and Dolores says she’d better be, because Kathy and Rosie are coming to the signing. As they pull up to Barnes and Noble, Chris says at least the police are there in case there are any problems. I think he’s joking. I think.

The book signing is pretty crowded. Lots of picture taking. Melissa and Joe buy books for Teresa to sign. In her interview, Melissa says she and Teresa have kept their word to be sisters. The two Joes chit-chat. Joe #2 asks Joe #1 if he’s ready. Joe #1 says he looks at it like he’s going to the military, which is a pretty good viewpoint. In his interview, Joe #2 commends him for not being a cry baby.

Josh is presented with the car of his dreams after dinner. He drives off, never to be seen again.

Jacqueline and Dolores arrive at the book signing. So do Kathy and Rosie, practically on their heels. I have to interject how wrong this is here. I don’t care if they’re family. I don’t care if they were close at one time. Let this woman get her bearings and for God’s sake, don’t descend on her in a public place. Teresa greets them all friendly, surprising us all. Kathy asks if she got the text, and Teresa acts surprised that she wouldn’t have texted back, saying some nonsense about her old phone and her new phone. In her interview, Rosie says that she thinks that’s a bullsh*t excuse, but she wants things to start fresh. She asks Teresa if the three of them can have lunch. Mic drop.

Teresa explains that her rime is precious. In her interview she says that they weren’t too nice when she went off to prison and said some mean things about her. Rosie acts desperate, saying what about just an hour, but again, I’m on Teresa’s side here. If right now, she wants to spend that hour with her kids while her husband is off at the pokey, that’s her business. Rosie says she wants them to be close again and Teresa says she’ll always be there for her. Kathy says why not lunch then? Rosie realizes how rudely they’re holding up the line and Teresa makes an apology to the hundred people standing there waiting. Rosie speaks with Joe #1 saying she misses him. She apologizes for what she’d said about them. Joe #1 tattles to Teresa about Rosie and what she’d said on New Year’s Eve. Rosie kvetches to Joe #2 about how they’re cousins and shouldn’t be distant.

Next time, Ashlee gets her proposal, Jacqueline and Teresa argue, Kathy’s husband and Joe #2 argue, and the cousin thing comes to a head.

Fear the Walking Dead

We’re back in the bar with Victor and Madison surrounded by zombies. Victor is going to town stabbing them, and Madison suddenly hears Alicia and stabs some other zombies. There isn’t much to work with weapon wise – a crowbar and broken bottles. Madison finds a cubbyhole where she and Victor drench themselves in zombie blood. Remember this trick if the apocalypse ever happens.

They walk out among the zombies, slowly stepping through the bar. She and Victor are able to separate themselves from the horde and get out the door. The truck is gone. Victor thinks the girls took it, but Madison says she just heard Alicia. They climb up onto a balcony while the horde wanders around below. They go back into the hotel.

Wherever they are, it’s pretty quiet. They rest on a staircase. Victor says Alicia is fine, but Madison says he doesn’t know that, and wonders why Alicia left. Victor says to survive. He gives Madison some water and says a tequila hangover can’t be helping. Wouldn’t they still be drunk? She hears Alicia again. They run back upstairs and let Alicia and the others in. Where we came in before.

Nick walks through Colonia to the infirmary, He goes upstairs to talk to Alejandro. He asks Alejandro if he has any compound. He tells Alejandro about what a buddy used to do when he was running low on funds and proceeds to cut the painkillers with powdered milk. Alejandro is concerned the people will know, but Nick says Alejandro is a pharmacist and he’s a junkie, so trust him. We watch Breaking Bad for a second and Alejandro says this will only get them so far.

Madison thinks thy should go after Ofelia. Victor says to focus on the here and now. Alicia says Ofelia chose to go because she thought they wouldn’t make it. Madison says they will make it. Elena talks about supplies and says the people left in the hotel still want her dead.

Madison and Victor stand outside. Madison calls for Oscar. She says there’s work to be done, nobody is leaving, so they might as well work together. Dude says drop their weapons. The do and go inside.

Nick works hard at cutting the drugs. Alejandro tells him to take a break. Nick asks what happened. He tells him Luci only told him that Alejandro was bitten, didn’t turn and that she had faith. He says he doesn’t believe in miracles. Alejandro says he calls it a leap of faith.

Oscar tells Madison about how they got trapped and how they’ve been rationing. Madison says the hotel has everything and explains how they can make the hotel into a home. Oscar says if they help, “that woman” can’t stay (and he didn’t have sex with her either). Madison says Elena did what she thought was right. The mother-of-the-bride says Elena killed her daughter, Madison says the sickness killed her. Madison says the next group who finds this place, and someone will, might not be so nice. They’re clearing out the dead and blockading the place and it would be easier with help. Oscar gives her the keys.

Madison and Victor talk on the way back. Madison is concerned about winning over the mother. Victor says her grief is driving her. He tells Madison that he’ll secure the place, but it’s not home. He had a home.

Nick tests the drugs and says it’s all good. Alejandro talks about how a boy stole from him. He doesn’t know what drug the boy took, but he was mistaken for a zombie and put in with them. He says he tried to save him, but was bitten, and Luci found him and brought him back. They waited for death to come, but it didn’t. Nick asks what happened to the boy and Alejandro says, zombie. Alejandro asks him to be brave, but careful. Nick thanks him for caring. They watch some kids play soccer with Luci and Nick joins in.

A bloody guy runs up to Alejandro and says “he’s in pieces.” Nick asks Luci what’s wrong and she says they found Pablo. Luci tells Nick that Pablo was her brother. She says Pablo looked for their mother after the apocalypse and helped her deal with it when their mother became one of the dead.

Hector suggests they leave zombies behind locked doors. Alicia says if one gets out, they have to start over and they need to clean sweep the place. Alicia goes outside and talks to Madison. She says at the rate they’re going, it will take weeks to clean the place up. Madison says they don’t have weeks. Madison apologizes for all her faults as a mother and Alicia starts walking into the water. Madison calls to her, and Alicia says they don’t have to kill the zombies and points to a sign that says no swimming – riptides. Well, yeah, that might sweep them out temporarily, but they’ll be washing up somewhere.

Alejandro gives Nick a cute little house, saying he needs the bed in the infirmary. Nick says he doesn’t need all this, but Alejandro says that it’s a gift for the time Nick bought them.

Madison tells everyone the plan for leading the zombies into the sea. Alicia doesn’t like how Madison is putting herself out there, but Madison says she needs her in the boat. Alicia tells her about how she saw the look-alike zombie and how she’s afraid of losing her mother, but Madison says Alicia isn’t going to lose her.

Hector and Alicia lead the zombies out of the hotel. Elena and Victor prop doors open inside, so the ones in there can get through. Madison give us more cowbell, luring the zombies by banging on a metal plate. She, Victor an Elena meet. Hector and Alicia separate, Alicia telling Hector to make sure he’s there for her. Madison cowbells the zombies out onto a long dock.

Oscar closes and locks the hotel. Alicia locks the side gate. We see quite a load of zombies shuffling along the boardwalk out to sea. The mother-of-the-bride looks on with disdain from the hotel. Alicia and company get an inflatable lifeboat ready. She and Hector take it out.

The zombies are getting pretty close to Madion, but the waves are kepeing the boat from getting close enough. Madison keeps looking over and wondering where the blip it is as she continues to cowbell. Alicia calls to her. She jumps off the side into the water. It’s a pretty long leap, about 40 feet.

Cool! Zombies following her like lemmings.

There’s a knock at Nick’s door. It’s Luci, saying she’s too tired to sleep. That’s a new one. He’s been reading a Spanish dictionary so he can talk to someone besides Alejandro. He says he wishes he’d taken it in school like his sister. Luci seems surprised he had a family and asks if she’s alive. Nick says he thinks so, as well as his mother, but his father died before zombieworld happened.

The crew at the hotel sit down for dinner. Oscar says his brother couldn’t handle it and is lying down, and Madison says he’ll come around. Alone, Victor goes to one of the rooms. The brother is in front of it. His wife is inside. He was the groom at the wedding. He talks about their courtship an says he won’t let Victor do anything to her. Victor says it’s not his wife anymore. He says the guy will never be the same, but one morning he’ll start thinking like someone new, the person who comes after. He asks what her name is. The groom tells him Jessica. Victor asks to let him help Jessica. The’re both shedding tears and it’s all poignant.

Luci opens her eyes and says she’s sorry she fell asleep. Nick says Alejandro claims she tests people, and she’s testing him? She kisses him. Is that part of the test?

The groom gives Victor the key to the room. Victor opens the door. There are zombie sounds inside. The door closes.

Next time, Nick says danger is coming (I don’t think you have to be a psychic to figure that out), Madison makes some rules, and Nick and Luci get it on.

Sep6

September 5, 2016 – A Lot of Housewives & a Little Z-Nation

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

My excitement can barely be contained – less than two weeks from now, on September 16, Z-Nation returns! If I was forced to pick only one show to feast on, this would be the one. (With maybe a side order of General Hospital.) While I enjoy both Walking Dead programs, Z-Nation has the sense of humor I love with my horror. For lack of a better word, I also think it’s more realistic and feel more investment in the more well-rounded characters. Chances are, the group you’d be running with during the apocalypse wouldn’t all be depressed and/or depressing. There would always be a Murphy or a Doc who didn’t always take everything so seriously. And it’s still just as relentless in excitement. Lots of fun guest stars too, like Anthony Michael Hall and Gina Gershon, both of whom were wonderful. I also have to admit to a TV crush on Citizen Z and Pup. (I recently discovered that DJ Qualls was originally a model for Prada. While I think he’s cute, I was like, whaaat?) The Sy-we-don’t-know-how-to-spell-Fy network had/has a marathon going on today and will probably have another one before the season premiere, so if you have love for the zombie apocalypse and haven’t seen it yet, give it a try.

No GH for us today. Since it’s a holiday, it was also a rerun. Moving on…

The Real Housewives of the OC

Tamra is planning some dune buggy riding during Eddie’s birthday event in Glamis and she’s buying helmets for all the ladies. She calls to see if Meghan is going, but that’s a no due to her pregnancy. Tamra thinks Meghan is being a coward, saying pregnant women run marathons, but I’m with Meghan on this one. Bouncing around in a dune buggy is not the same thing and she’s gone through a lot with the IVF. Tamra says Shannon is acting like she didn’t even get an invite, and she has the feeling Shannon wants to avoid Kelly. She calls Shannon next, telling her about Heather renting an RV. As soon as Tamra tells her who’s coming, suddenly Shannon remembers she has some lung issue where she has to avoid dirt or something. Geez, at least make an effort to create a good story.

Kelly does some shopping for the trip. Her only concern is Heather pointing a judgmental finger at her. She tells her husband about Shannon’s vow renewal and how Vicki wasn’t invited, which she thinks was mean. They look at windbreakers, and Michael makes a typical male joke about breaking wind.

Shannon’s house is finally in escrow, She says it’s been in and out several times, but this time it looks like a go. She’s thinking she won’t be able to pack in the thirteen days before closing. She asks the realtor about more time, but he says that’s not a good idea. I fail to grasp why she hasn’t gotten going on this already. They also have to find a rental, so she gives the realtor her laundry list of wants, which is a lot. Oh no! The rental won’t have crystals buried beneath it like her house does now. How will she survive?

Heather says all she knows about Glamis is that there’s lots of sand and no stores. Horrors! She meets with the RV driver. She was expecting the RV to be like Tom Cruise‘s movie trailer and is disappointed even though it’s got the look of a nice hotel suite. Heather also doesn’t cook, so she’s had her personal chef prepare some dishes. I liked Heather at the beginning, but she’s been working my last nerve this season.

Meghan and Jim have a doctor’s appointment to see if she’s pregnant. She’s glad he’s with her, since he’s been MIA throughout all of the IVF stuff. She says she’s scared to be a mom because she’s Jim’s third wife, and even though he had children with the other two, things didn’t work out. I’m not sure what she’s saying here. That Jim leaves as soon as children are in the picture? I’m laughing because Jim is one of the most emotionless people I’ve ever seen. “Hey, Jim! The house just burned down.” Jim looks at the sky and picks his nose.

The RV picks up Tamra and Kelly. Even though the RV isn’t up to Heather’s expectations, Tamra is impressed, saying she wouldn’t expect anything else from “Fancy Pants.” She’s also concerned about Kelly, who she says is like a rescue dog, who you don’t know whether will lick or bite you. Next, they pick up Vicki.

While on the RV, Kelly suddenly gets nauseous. Vicki has to hold her ears when Kelly throws up, since she’s susceptible to anyone else getting ill. What is wrong with this bunch of wimps? This is the last group who should go camping, or do anything other than stay at a 5-star hotel up to Dubai’s standards. Kelly calls her husband to give him the deets. The driver misses a sign and has to turn around. Tamra thinks Heather should have spent more money on the driver than the vehicle. The ladies sing Kumbaya. This is starting to remind me of the time I took a bus trip through New England with my grandmother and her senior group.

Meghan gets a call from the doctor. Jim yawns and I laugh again. The pregnancy test is positive. He says they’ll do an ultrasound in two weeks. Meghan asks if it could be twins, but the doctor says it’s too early to tell. Jim can barely contain his excitement. Not really.

The camp site is already set up and Eddie is there to greet the ladies. Tamra’s mother is also there and a couple of people I don’t know. Heather introduces her son, Nicky. In her interview, Heather gushes over the place, going on about how beautiful it is and confusing me. While Heather will be staying in the RV, Tamra has rented trailers for everyone else. Vicki goes around showing her grandson, Troy, all the fabulousness via her phone. Sarah, Ryan and their baby also make an appearance. I think Sarah might have another kid there, but at this point, there’s too many kids running around and I can’t keep track of them.

Vicki goes running on the sand dunes. In her interview, Kelly says she’d join Vicki, but Principal Dubrow would probably shake a finger at her. Ha-ha! Oddly enough, it’s Tamra who tells Vicki to get off of the dunes, because there are dune buggies flying around everywhere and they’ll run right over her. Heather scrutinizes Kelly in her interview, saying she seems to be on her best behavior, but it remains to be seen if she keeps her promise. In her interview, Vicki says she’d like to be a princess like Heather, but she’ll probably be working until the day she dies. I find it a little hard to believe that Vicki needs to work until she dies unless she wants to. Or did Brooks took all her savings too?

Meghan and Jim are at their house in a gated country club community. I wonder how many houses they have. I always find the concept of having multiple homes desirable, but it’s probably not as fun as it seems. Shannon and David are meeting up with them to play golf. Because they have so much time on their hands before they move. Shannon says she doesn’t want to pack and is an avoider. An avoider previously lived in my house too. Not only did we have to agree that it not be “broom clean” as stated in the contract and let her park her RV here for two weeks to get her moved out on time, but she was still here when we moved in. You read that right. She was sitting in a folding chair in front of a closet still full of her stuff. My husband’s aunt had a summer home nearby. I told my husband I was going there and having a beer, and when I got back, she’d better be gone. She was. I also have to admit, there were some cool things left here, like a set of Gilbert & Sullivan recordings on 78 rpm albums.

Eddie teaches Nicky how to ride an ATV. Tamra suggests he ask for one for Christmas, along with a personal desert. The ladies get ready for their dune buggy adventure and we see flash backs of Tamra’s terrible driving. Kelly complains about sand in her face and having to pee. You can dress these girls up, but you can’t take them out. Tamra tells her group to hold on and drives like the Tasmanian Devil. And flips the buggy. Nice work.

Heather tells everyoen not to move and calls for the medic. Vicki gets sick and Kelly keeps yelling for the EMT. Both Vicki and Tamra have collars put on them. The dune buggy ambulance arrives. The medics ask both Vicki and Tamra questions, trying to determine their injuries. They both get put on boards and a helicopter lands. Eddie leaves with Tamra for the hospital, but the helicopter is taking Vicki to Palm Springs. She’s feeling numbness somewhere. Heather claims to be in help mode, but I swear, as hurt as I was, I’d deck her one for saying things like “you’re okay” and “you’re strong” ten thousand times. She calls Briana to let her know what’s happening, but Briana is sick and can’t go there. Kelly’s helmet came off and she says she’s lucky she didn’t get hurt. Heather brags to Terry about how helpful she was, while Kelly talks to Tamra’s mother.

Kelly realizes later that she hurt her elbow and Heather gives her some ice. Heather calls Meghan and tells her about the accident. She says that Vicki is in Palm Springs and all alone, but that’s about forty-five minutes away from them, and God forbid Meghan might be inconvenienced. After she hangs up, Meghan gets annoyed because Vicki isn’t her friend and she doesn’t want to go and felt like Heather was pressuring her. Okay, here I’m on Heather’s team. She might not consider Vicki a friend, but she’s a co-worker who is all by herself. Not a good look.

Next time, Meghan tells Shannon about the accident, the girls call Vicki in the hospital, Tamra can’t do the competition, and Meghan and Heather argue, probably politely.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Jacqueline tells Chris about how she and Teresa got along on the girls trip and it seemed like old times. Chris asks if she’s happy that the weekend turned out well. No, she wanted. to fight. Kiddingnotkidding. In his interview, Chris says she’s happy now, but as soon as somebody says something stupid, it will go back again. That ought to take about five minutes. Maybe less.

Siggy visits Dolores. Sadly, Dolores had to have her dog, Boo, euthanized because he had kidney failure. Siggy brings flowers and a present. It’s tough for me to watch because I love my dogs so much. Dolores says she doesn’t cry easily, but this is very hard on her.

Melissa is stumped over an order that comes into the store. Her manager, Derek, thinks he and Jackie placed it. (He doesn’t know?) Melissa calls Jackie and tells her that she wants everything that comes into the store to go by her first. Jackie argues that not everyone is a size zero like her. In her interview, Melissa says it’s not as much fun as she thought it would be. Work never is. She tells Jackie that she’s stressed out and Jackie says welcome to owning a business, and tells her she doesn’t have to be there 24/7. She admits to not being good at delegating and Jackie suggests she take some time off.

Teresa – omg, one of their dogs has a magenta mohawk and stripe running down it’s back – tells Gia that she wishes she could come to the book party, but you have to be twenty-one. I guess it’s in a bar. Joe #1 comes in and Gia argues with him. In her interview, Teresa says Joe is drinking more and unraveling. She asks him how he’s doing and he says fine. She says she was all about making memories before she “went away,” and wishes Joe would calm down.

Siggy picks up her son from school and they discuss his upcoming ski trip with his father. She lets him drive, but kibbutzes the whole time and says once he gets his license, he’ll be lost to her. He tells her she has no limits and is loud, and she asks what he expects since she was born in a bomb shelter. I futilely try to figure that one out.

Teresa tells Joe #1 that he’s just like his father and he tells her to shut up. He’s seriously nasty and she tells him to please leave the kitchen. He says the only thing he’s going to miss is his children. Obviously, he’s not taking this going to prison thing too well. Teresa says that she feels like she has five kids instead of four. In her interview, Dolores says it’s in Teresa’s DNA that you never get divorced. Teresa reminds Dolores about the book party coming up. Dolores says she and Siggy are going together.

Jacqueline and Chris are having a poker night. Chris excited because Rosie is going to be there. She and Joe #1 hung out a lot when Teresa was “away,” but she got the brush off since Teresa’s return. I already figure this isn’t going to go well.

Melissa is dealing with her children when Derek calls her about a deadline. Joe #2 comes home and she asks him to help with dinner, but God forbid. He says he’s going to poker night and she says someone has to pick up their son from wrestling. In his interview, he whines that no one helps him with everything. He cuts out as fast as possible.

Rosie arrives at Jacqueline’s. She fells badly about some things she said about Joe #1 on New Year’s Eve. In her interview, she says something I can’t understand because so many words are bleeped. She’s not sure where she stands with Teresa and doesn’t understand what the wedge between them is about. I dunno. I guess discussing it with them is out of the question.

Joe #2 arrives and Rosie talks to him about the other Joe. He makes up something about everyone being busy. Chris calls Joe #1 who says he’s tired and in bed. He says they don’t need him anyway, since Rosie’s is a good poker player. She says she was hoping to see him. They hang up and Rosie wants to leave. In her interview, she says she wanted to see Joe #1 and doesn’t need this bullsh*t. Jacqueline says she doesn’t think he’s not coming because of her, but she wants to leave anyway. These people are incredibly clueless. Jacqueline explains to the guys that Rosie was counting on seeing Joe #1 and thinks there’s some kind of rift.

Rosie comes back. In her interview, she says Joe #1 claimed to have had too much to drink. She says she doesn’t know if Teresa had anything to do with it, but she feels badly for him. She tells the others about her stupid remarks on New Year’s Eve and that she feels guilty. Joe #2 calls Teresa and asks about Joe #1‘s absence, which she explains by saying it’s getting closer to his time in the pokey and he’s kind of freaked out. Chris says he’s glad that his family isn’t as screwed up as Joe #2’s is.

Siggy helps Dolores go through her paperwork. She’s been giving her bills to Frank, but Siggy thinks she needs to get some independence. Dolores says Frank has always handled the bills and she handled the kids. Teresa joins them, and checks out the renovations. Teresa says that “it’s” starting to get to Joe #1 and she needed to get out for some air. Siggy explains what’s going on with Dolores’s bills and Teresa says Dolores needs to start understanding what everything is about. Dolores says she and Frank have a symbiotic relationship. Teresa says she’s lucky to have Frank in her life, but that could always change. Dolores gets excited when she sees a check for cable over-payment. She’s seriously ignorant of her expenses.

Melissa curls her daughter Antonia’s hair for a father/daughter dance. She tells Antonia  that she’s busy with the boutique right now, but doesn’t want their relationship to suffer. She talks to Antonia about what she wants to be when she grows up. Joe #2 says he’s a handsome devil and Melissa gives him a wrist corsage for Antonia. He and Melissa take pictures.

Gia and Teresa have a girls night and go out for sushi. Teresa says she appreciated Gia’s help when she wasn’t around and wants to do something special. Gia takes pictures of the food and calls her father a butthead. She says prison will be good for him. Teresa asks if she means the drinking, and Gia says partly, but he needs to realize what he has. Astute kid. Teresa says he makes the wrong decisions when he drinks. She says she thinks Gia is going to miss him, and she says she will, but she’s not too worried. Teresa tells Gia how proud she is of her. She does seem mature for her age, but she had to grow up kind of fast.

Chris wonders if Joe #1 is coming to the book launch party. He and Jacqueline hitch a limo ride with Dolores, Siggy and her husband.

Teresa is trying tot get ready, and Melania and Audriana act up. Teresa tells Audriana to get to bed and in her interview says that they’re acting out because they know Joe #1 is leaving soon. In the limo, Joe #1 asks Teresa how she’s feeling and she says she’s happy about the book, but not so happy about other things.

Joe #1 gets a call from one of his friends, but Teresa tells him that the friend can’t bring his 12-year-old son. Another deal breaker is that the friend is a felon. Joe tells his felon father friend that they’ll work it out at the venue, but Teresa says it’s a no.

The bar is pretty crowded and Joe #1 can’t get a drink fast enough. Everyone is introducing everyone, and Joe slips out. Teresa’s lawyer has to explain to Joe why his friend can’t come in. Peter the Felon screams at Joe on the street. I think he’s had a few drinks too.

Joe #1 is paged inside the bar, but he’s too busy outside to know. Lawyer James explains what’s going on to Teresa, while Peter rages on, yelling about the mob and the government. Joe comes back in and Teresa is introduced. Her book is number two on the NY Times best seller list. Teresa thanks everyone for coming. She says she wanted to show her daughters what she went through when they get old enough. She says the book is also a love story about her and Joe. She tells everyone she loves them.

Teresa’s lawyer says she’s number two and the Pope is number four. Joe jokes about coming back skinny as hell. Everyone toasts to everything.

This season, Jacqueline’s daughter gets engaged, Melissa has a fashion show, Joe #2 argues with Melissa, Jacqueline calls Melissa a “fake, phony bitch” (!) and embarrasses herself, Joe #1 tells his daughters he’s not dying just going away, and Joe #1 goes away.

Aug29

August 28, 2016 – NJ Wives Go to the Spa & the Feared Dead Go to a Hotel

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Everyone is getting ready for the Crystal Springs spa trip. Dolores wonders why Melissa needs 47 bags for a weekend. So do I. Teresa asks Melissa and Dolores if they’ve talked to Jacqueline. Melissa says she has, but kind of blows off the question. In another car, Jacqueline says they should all be able to play in the same sandbox. In her interview, she says if Teresa doesn’t play nice, she’ll bury her. Not too defensive. Siggy thinks it all comes from insecurity and that Jacqueline is upset because Teresa isn’t as invested in the friendship as she is.

Teresa brings up Jacqueline’s remark about her federal offense. I don’t blame her for thinking that it was a low blow. I think that’s about all Jacqueline is capable of.

Crystal Springs looks amazing and we haven’t even gotten in the door. A butler greets them on the porch with champagne. Everyone claims their rooms. At least Ramona isn’t here. Jacqueline and Siggy arrive after the others and Jacqueline ignores Teresa. Because she’s such a grown up like she said she was. Siggy won’t let this happen and makes Jacqueline say hello to Teresa. Time stops.

In the meantime, Joe #2 is perplexed as to how to feed his kids. He struggles to make some chicken nuggets, wondering how they cook so fast. He’s appreciating Melissa to no end right now. Chris calls as Joe attempts to make some fish. Chris suggests they get together later. At least the popcorn is a success.

It’s dinner time at Crystal Springs. Everyone toasts to friendship and new beginnings. Good luck with that.

The girls discuss different trips they’ve been on. Jacqueline warms up a little when Teresa talks about the trip they went on to Italy. Dolores thinks maybe they just needed to get out of their environment. Jacqueline talks about the new company Chris is starting and how much it costs to raise a child with autism. Siggy says everyone has gone through hardships and talks about living with her parents after her divorce. She says when you’re down, you find out who your true friends are. Melissa talks about not even being able to afford diapers at one point. Teresa tell the group about how so many people thought she should leave Joe #1, but she loves him. Siggy says they’re all survivors at the end of the day, and they toast to that.

Next they go to the fire and water deck, whatever that is. They sit around a fire pit, drinking wine and making s’mores. They discuss when they had their first children, and Jacqueline brings up going ring shopping with her future son-in-law, Pete. Melissa is bummed about missing things with the kids while she’s dealing with her new business. She says when her father passed away, it was devastating for her mother because she’d never worked, and you never know what’s going to happen. Teresa talks about missing the kids when she was in prison camp. Jacqueline gets weepy about it and Teresa invites her and Chris to her book party.

The ladies don their pajamas. Teresa FaceTimes with Joe #1, and she and Jacqueline pretend there’s a big fight going on and Teresa tells him to come and pick her up. Then Jacqueline gives him a cleavage shot. What a couple of comediennes! In her interview, Dolores thinks if they can stay away from discussing the past issues, they’ll be okay. They move on to play wine pong. Tipsy silliness ensues.

Chris plays with his kids. Zzzzz…..

Melissa is the only one who wakes up in full makeup. A chef has arrived to cook a fabulous breakfast. The ladies talk about their kids again. Jacqueline leaves the table and is crying in the bathroom. OMG – they’ve run out of coffee. I’d cry too. Siggy talks to Jacqueline, who is upset because her proud mommy moments are very different from the other women’s. Siggy tells her that Nicholas doesn’t know any different, so it’s not like he’s comparing himself to the other kids. The girls gather around to give support. Melissa says you can’t always be a rock.

Teresa privately tells Dolores that maybe when Jacqueline snapped at her, she was just reacting to how much she has on her plate. Jacqueline is happy about Teresa being supportive. The ladies hang out by the pool on lounge chairs. Melissa talks to Dolores about her relationship with Teresa. In her interview, she says Joe #2 is happy with how things are, so she’s picking her battles. Jacqueline is aware that she and Teresa are being talked about and asks if they’d like to share it with the rest of the class. Dolores asks what they’re talking about, and Jacqueline says they’re talking about what she and Melissa are talking about.

Jacqueline and Teresa go for some spa treatments. Jacqueline talks about getting Nicholas involved with more children. Teresa says Milania loves him and to call her whenever she’s having a bad day. Jacqueline apologizes for saying stupid stuff. Outside, Siggy says she wishes that Jacqueline could see how much Teresa has changed, but Melissa says Jacqueline needs more proof.

The girls are making dinner. Melissa asks Teresa how things are going with Jacqueline. Teresa tells her about Jacqueline’s apology. They grill some steaks and everyone pitches in with the meal.

Chris and Joe #1 go out to eat at Reno’s restaurant. Reno sits with them and Joe talks about how Teresa’s lost weight and has a smaller behind now. He says once he leaves, it will probably be emotional, but there’s nothing he can do about anything, and his main concern is his family’s safety. He’s gotten a German Shepherd that he’s having trained.

The meal the girls have made looks freaking amazing. Everyone is thrilled about how well Jacqueline and Teresa are getting along. Jacqueline talks about how when she gets mad, she says ugly things. Siggy explains that sometimes the two of them just aren’t coming from the same place and it creates a communication problem. Everyone gets goofy during dessert. Teresa sits on some chocolate and much fun is made of the brown mess on the back of her pants.

Jacqueline calls out Melissa and Dolores for talking about her and Teresa at the pool. In her interview, Melissa says Jacqueline’s paranoia is coming into play, because she and Dolores weren’t discussing them. But they were. Teresa says Jacqueline needs to relax and Jacqueline agrees that she thinks too much.

Teresa teaches the girls some yoga. Teresa talks about yoga stimulating going to the bathroom and how you’re encouraged to pass gas. Then she has to explain what queve is. I’m not going to. Look it up. She ends the class with, “Namaste, bitches,” Dina’s old tagline.

Next time, it looks like Dolores might have had to put Boo to sleep 😟, Rosie misses everyone, and Teresa has a book party.

Fear the Walking Dead

Nick wakes up in the La Colonia infirmary. He walks out into the street and wanders around the town. There isn’t another soul to be seen. He sees a little girl crying. He goes to her and looks out to the townspeople saying good-by to one of the men who is about to walk out into a group of zombies. It’s the girl’s father.

The people chant some nonsense in Spanish as the guy walks through a bus to the zombies outside. (I find out later that they’re saying, “From death we come, and to death we deliver ourselves.”) Um…that chanting isn’t going to help anything. Nick moves the girl so she can’t see. No big shock, the man is attacked and eaten. Good job, folks. What did you think was gong to happen? Nick is appalled.

Madison and the others are out driving around looking for Nick and Travis. It’s been two days since they left. Alicia wants to go back. Victor says they’re riding on fumes and should go back to the boat. Madison goes back to the truck.

Nick wanders through the now active marketplace. A lady calls him over. Alejandro tends to one of the men who believes he’s not long for this world.

Uh-oh. The boat’s gone. Victor thinks the military was waiting for them to land and took it. Ofelia suggests they walk into the sea, but Alicia thinks finding shelter in a nearby hotel is a better idea. Alicia tells Madison that it’s the two of them now, whether she likes it or not. A message is left on the beach: Abigail Lost Head North.

The group checks out the hotel. They don’t see anything moving. Even though there might be something unsavory awaiting them inside, they figure better inside than outside. They approach, Victor breaks the front door lock, and they go inside. Alicia wonders where the person who locked up is now. Victor hits the desk bell and Madison asks if he’s out of his mind. He tells her the service stinks there.

Luci tells Nick they have work to do. He follows her. She brings Nick through the bus, fights off some zombies and pins one to a wall. She tells Nick to stay quiet. They put zombie blood on themselves. Nick asks why him and she says no one will miss him.

The group wanders through the hotel. The banquet room has been set up for a wedding. Ofelia says she almost got married once and he was a good man. Victor says not that good, since it was almost. She says he was leaving for New Mexico and she needed to stay with her parents. Victor tells her not to dwell on the past.

Nick asks what was up with the thing that morning. Luci explains that they keep a wall of zombies outside the fence for protection and when one of them gets infected, they volunteer to be one of the wall to protect their people. He asks what if the guy just became lunch for no reason. She tells him he has no faith. She compares it to the ocean cleansing itself and says the dead are returning, and when they go, the world will be new. She tells him that Alejandro was bitten and she saw it happen, but he didn’t turn.

Victor and company continue through the hotel. Alicia wants to split up, but Madison doesn’t like it. Too bad, she goes off with Ofelia anyway. Victor tells Madison she needs and drink and so does he.

Luci takes Nick to see a gang from East Tijuana who deal with supplies. She tells him to keep his mouth shut, that they’ll hang you for looking at them wrong. She gives the guy at the door pharmaceuticals. They give her a cart and tell her to fill it. She says it used to be two, but the guy says it isn’t anymore. Just like the EpiPen!

Victor makes martinis and calls Madison a Southern belle. She tells him his martini is bullsh*t and to bring her the tequila. Ofelia and Alicia go through the rooms. They hear zombie noises from some of them. Alicia notices that someone put “do not disturb” signs on the rooms with the zombies in them. They go inside a safe room and grab some supplies. They find a zombie in a shower who tried to commit suicide, but just got hung up on the shower-head. Alicia puts a do not disturb sign on the door as they leave.

Luci tells Nick to get whatever they can use for the infirmary. He wants to add a package of snack cakes, but that’s a no. No cakes for you. They get quite a few jugs of water as well.

Ofelia tells Alicia there’s still hot water. Alicia empties the mini-bar and asks Ofelia why the guy in the shower gave up. Ofelia says maybe he was tired of surviving. Alicia says you just push on. Ofelia says they’re not going to make it. She talks about her father being one step beyond hope. Alicia says it’s all they have and if they lose that, they’re dead. She tells Ofelia she’s family now.

Luci and Nick leave with the cart. One of the gang members knocks Nick to the ground. Nick has the cookies in his pocket. The guy hits Nick in the head with what looks like a billy club. Why on earth did Nick think he was slick enough to get away with that? On the other hand, technically, the crackers would have fit in the cart, so…

Commercial break. Please, spare me the car ads with Matthew McConaughey.

Gang dude says rats who steal get their paws cut off and prepares to chop off Nick’s hand. Luci translates as Nick threatens them with no more Oxy. He saw gang dude tending to his sick sister, and tells him if she’s without it for a week, he’ll hope she turns, because he’ll want to kill her. He says the gang needs Oxy and La Colonia has it. And if they want it, not only will he let Nick go, but the gang will give them another cart of water. Dude throws him down, but agrees. Nice negotiating, Nick! They could use you on The Walking Dead right about now.

When they leave the area, Luci is concerned about being followed. She says she’s never been followed, but she also never had a stupid gringo threaten them. Nick says sorry.

Madison and Victor talk over drinks. Victor talks about what might have happened had they met at another time. He says he’s a seducer of people who would have it on her and it would have been fun. He says now there’s no world to talk about; there’s not even a bar. Madison says Alicia is right. they’re never going to see Nick again. Victor says Nick is bullet proof and he’s alive. Madison says Nick was born lost, like his daddy. If you leave him alone, he heads toward death.

Victor asks how Nick’s father died. Madison says he was late coming home and went into oncoming traffic. Victor asks if he fell asleep at the wheel and she says that’s what she told the kids. She says she keeps trying to save the kids and they keep dying over and over. Travis stopped it for a while, but now he’s gone. Victor says we can only live with things, we can’t choose. Madison says she didn’t have to be a mother, but she chose to be. She’s getting a little drunk and throws her glass. Then she gets another glass and pours them another shot. They drink to false hope and she throws that glass too.

Victor goes over to the piano, but it’s all out of tune, which is totally appropriate. As he plays, we see zombies locked inside a shop trying to get out. All this noise is attracting their attention.

Alicia takes a shower. She calls to Ofelia that it’s her turn, but then can’t find her. She sees something fall from the roof. She looks over the side of the balcony and sees a couple of zombies take nose-dives off the balconies on the other side of the hotel. Zombies start falling from everywhere and Alicia runs calling for Ofelia. She opens a door to a stairwell and it’s crawling with zombies. I want to see more of the zombies taking headers. That was kind of cool. I do have to lodge a complaint here though. I realize I’m working with a huge suspension of disbelief, even accepting that there has been a zombie apocalypse at all. Cool as it was, these zombies were falling several stories and just getting up. Even if  they’re the undead, they would still have broken bones and not be able to walk away. Okay. I feel better now.

Nick and Luci make it back to La Colonia. Nick sees the little girl whose father went to the wall and gives her the cakes. Luci sees and realizes Nick isn’t the selfish dumbass she thought he was. Nick goes to see Alejandro. He says he heard Nick almost started a war. Nick says he thought the little girl needed something, some comfort, and there should be some things that are not about death. Alejandro says when they run out of cake and drugs, where will they turn? Nick says what good is faith when the water runs out? Alejandro says when the world is washed of death, the faithful will remain. He says they are the chosen who will outlast death. Nick sees the healed bite mark, and Alejandro tells him that he’s welcome to stay, but if he puts the people in danger again they’ll feed him to the wall.

Victor and Madison are getting really sloshed. Victor is banging on the out-of-tune piano and Madison is flinging glasses around. Victor looks out the floor to ceiling window and sees the zombies falling outside the widow and says they have to go now. Too late. Zombies are getting in everywhere.

Alejandro makes a speech to the people about the Lord and how life is a sigh between two deaths. He tells them the migration of the dead has begun. He says that the world is for them, the faithful, and death will not take them. The people start their chant and Nick joins them. Alejandro says as long as he lives, they’ll never leave.

This is interspersed with Victor and Madison fighting the zombies without conventional weapons, using liquor bottles and chairs. Holy! They’re surrounded.

Next time, Alicia shows what she’s made of, and Travis and Chris get involved with a new group of people who look pretty militant.

Aug15

August 14, 2016 – The NJ Wives & Some Complaints

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

All I have to say about this season of MasterChef is, if by some fluke, Nathan wins, I’m never watching this show again.

This summer, TV watching has felt somewhat like when I worked in accounting and cash management. Most of the time, it was non-stop work, but there were always those couple of days out of the month where there wasn’t much to do and I’d catch up on personal phone calls. Most of the summer has been that couple of days.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

I have no idea what’s going on with this show. It was supposed to air at 8 pm and tennis was on. I repeatedly checked throughout the hour and it was still tennis. Or talking about tennis. Now I put it on at 8:50 and the show is already in progress and I don’t have a clue how long it’s been on. I’m also annoyed because this messes up my watching Return to Amish and Mary is hosting Christmas dinner. I could use a little Christmas, since it’s 110 degrees out.

Ok, I was able to catch the beginning the next time they aired it, and Dolores’s dog is having kidney issues. She gives ex-husband Frank a list of house reconstruction demands. She’s hoping to be able to pay him back for the years of his support by opening her own gym. They’ve owned gyms together before, but this time it’s all on her. He tells her to come by later so they can talk over the plans.

Melissa’s kids get ready for a fashion show at NY Fashion Week. In her interview, Melissa talks about how hard it is juggling work with the family. She tells Joe #2 that she invited Teresa to the show. They discuss how the Melissa/Teresa relationship is going. Melissa says she’ll feel like they’re really friends when she can disagree with Teresa without ducking. Joe tells her to just tell Teresa that she’s being a pita when she is because that’s what he does. She wisely responds that he can get away with it being Teresa’s brother.

Boring Jacqueline family stuff, with Siggy co-starring. In her interview, Jacqueline talks about how she’s glad Ashley is living at home. They talk about Melissa’s store opening and the rebuilding of Jacqueline and Teresa’s friendship. Siggy suggests she take baby steps and I think of Bill Murray in What About Bob?

Jacqueline visits Chris at work. He tells her to remember what Teresa and Joe #1 are going through when they get together. He says they might have underlying stress, so just forget the past and blow off anything weird. She says it will be interesting to see if the friendship chemistry is still there. What I don’t get is why everything has to be such a big deal? I have a lot of friends, but only several close friends. It’s not like you have to be conjoined twins with everyone.

Siggy has to take her daughter’s phone away. It’s the second time she’s gotten in trouble with it at school. She gives Sophie a lecture on responsibility and rules and how you need good grades to get a decent job. Here’s where I came in the first time.

Teresa, Melissa, Joe #2 and a passel of children go to a fashion show that some of the kids are involved in. They go out to eat afterward and discuss how we should all support and lift each other up.

Dolores meets Frank at the gym. They discuss getting more members and the class schedule. She says the ew gym isn’t just a hobby, but her independence.

Siggy and her kids sit down for some diner food. The kids talk about the difference between staying with their father and with her. They complain that she treats them like slaves. She says she’s the one who has to take care of the important stuff and their dad gets fun weekends. It sounds like it’s the same as most normal households where the parents live together. They try to talk to her, but she keeps interrupting and then starts to cry when her son tells her she can’t last a minute listening to him.

Joe #1 chases around with Milania (or one of those girls with an “a’ at the end of their name). Teresa tries to hurry him up because they’re going to Jacqueline’s house. Teresa is hesitant about the whole thing and we flash back to the last fight between Jacqueline and Teresa. Milania is now busy goofing around with a Sumo wrestler costume and can’t get up from the floor. Finally, Joe and Teresa make it to the car.

Joe #1 gifts Jacqueline with what looks like an entire case of his homemade wine. Teresa is excited to see Jacqueline’s kids. Joe and Chris talk while Teresa helps in the kitchen. Teresa says she just wants peace and to keep toxic people out of her life. Jacqueline says that Teresa had her own thing going on with both her and Melissa, but Teresa thinks they ganged up on her. Jacqueline talks about Teresa not talking to her about the tabloid articles, and how some of them were true. Teresa says she had no idea about it at the time and is surprised Jacqueline would think she did. I can tell that Jacqueline is gearing up to be an insensitive a-hole.

Teresa says her real friends believed she didn’t know what was going on and there must have been a disconnect between them. In her interview, Teresa says this is the last thing she wanted to rehash. Teresa tells Jacqueline that she’s hurt about her lack of trust. Teresa tells her that her brother told her not to trust Jacqueline. Jacqueline calls Joe #2 and asks him what he said. Joe is like, this was a million years ago and it’s up to you two so-called adults to work things out between you. Jacqueline hangs up and Teresa tells her that she’s not interested in anyone who’s not loyal.

Teresa reminds Jacqueline that she never questioned her when she was going through some legal issues. Jacqueline says hers wasn’t a federal bankruptcy fraud case. Teresa says that was a low blow and it’s time to leave. Teresa recaps what was said to Chris. In his interview, Chris says the girls always ruin things with some emotional nonsense. Joe says the girls always f-things up.

Jacquelie keeps going on about how you can’t compare the two cases they went through. Teresa says she did her time and took responsibility for it. Jacqueline says she doesn’t own it and had blamed her brother. Teresa says now Jacqueline is nuts, let’s go. I actually don’t remember Teresa blaming her brother for anything, but that also might have been something in the tabloids and I don’t read them often. Jacqueline insults her all the way out the door. Joe guzzles his wine before he leaves.

Chris asks what the trigger was. Jacqueline says Teresa was the one who brought up the past first and when she “came back at her,” she couldn’t take it. So much for Chris’s advice in the office. I don’t like Jacqueline. I feel badly that she has the pressure of raising an autistic child, but she’s nasty. I don’t know if she’s bored an likes to stir the pot or what, but she definitely has a ratchet attitude and looks for problems.

Teresa tells Joe #1 about Jacqueline calling Joe #2 and how insulting she was. I’m totally with her, and calling Teresa’s brother was out of line. It’s like she wanted to cause trouble between them. Joe says if you can’t repair what’s broken, sometimes it’s better to walk away. Teresa is like, I just got home, and I don’t need all this. Joe agrees that Jacqueline is a bitch.

Next time, Jacqueline babbles to Melissa, Teresa explains what happened with Jacqueline to Joe #2, and Siggy gets all weepy about family and tradition.

Aug1

July 31, 2016 – Shah Art Doesn’t Imitate Life & NJ Teresa Steps Out

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

The Shahs of Sunset

When we last left the Shahs, we were at MJ’s renewal party and Tommy just asked her to marry him. The doves are released and kissing happens. Vida starts complaining and tells MJ to get over there like she’s a dog. Asa tries to calm Vida down and she just gets louder, insisting that MJ is in love with the wrong person. In her interview, Asa says in the Persian culture, you respect your elders, but she’s having a hard time with Vida acting the fool.

Tommy gets emotional and tries to talk to Vida. She suggests they look at the ring with a magnifying glass. MJ is disgusted, embarrassed, disappointed and hurt. Reza is starting to freak, saying he can’t be in the cemetery anymore. Everyone gets in their cars, leaving the scene of what Vida thinks is a crime.

MJ can’t believe Vida tried to bulldoze one of the happiest moments of her life. The next morning, she’s loving Tommy and her ring. She says if Vida doesn’t get with the program, she’s cutting her out.

GG is getting her hair done. Asa wants to take some photos of GG taking a selfie. Her project is called Together and she wanted pictures of everyone, regardless of whether they’re coupling or not. Everyone is coming to the opening or revealing or whatever it is. GG says she’s tired of feeling like she needs to be on guard with Reza, but Asa is like, who cares?

Reza has decided on a property in Palm Springs. He hasn’t seen it yet, so he and Adam are driving over. Adam wants to replace some things, but Reza says it’s a rental and they’re not doing any work on it. Now that they own properties together, Adam talks about getting their own place and having some kids. Reza says you can’t live the Hart to Hart lifestyle with kids.

Asa’s mom comes to visit her, bearing the OK! magazine that has a piece about Asa’s caftans. They both get super excited when they see the article. Even I get excited. I like Asa. She works hard and deserves some recognition. And caftans are  so much more practical than diamond water. She talks about her family’s blind support and how they all made something life-changing happen.

MJ meets Vida for a snack. They exchange pleasantries. A-hole Vida says Tommy ruined the day for her and MJ points out that it wasn’t her day. She says that she has respect, love and patience for Vida, and it keeps her mouth shut, but Tommy deserves better. No surprise, Vida doesn’t react well. In her interview, MJ says Vida fears that she’ll abandon her for Tommy. Vida insists that Tommy isn’t the right person for her. MJ says sorry, and have fun being alone. Vida makes a pouty face.

Mike and Reza meet for a run in the park. They’re trying to get back in shape after some serious slacking off. Reza has set the time for an hour, but after 15 minutes, Mike is done, and they sit on a bench. Reza talks about how Mike was able to forgive GG. He says he thinks she has a serious mental problem. In his interview, Reza talks about how GG said she had a video of him having sex with someone at the gym. He says she systematically goes through all of them. Mike says he’s sad that GG doesn’t put her energy into something positive.

It’s the day of Asa’s art show. I know it’s an art show now because that’s what it said on the screen. GG is giving herself a snail mask (Korean skincare!) and Shervin calls, since they’re attending together. GG is afraid of losing her sh*t with Reza, but she says she’s going to steer clear of him.

Asa is at the gallery getting herself and the art pieces ready. She’s written something about each picture of her friends and family. Reza shows up first and she reads some of them to him. Reza is annoyed that GG never apologizes for anything she does. He says they’ve been friends for five years and all she does is cause problems and needs to be accountable for her actions. Asa just wants everyone to be able to talk to one another.

Shervin brings Annalise along to the art show. She seems relatively normal, so I’m not sure how she’s going to gel with this group.

Commercial break with important information – the two-part Shahs reunion starts Tuesday, 9 pm.

Asa is impressed with her parents having stayed together for 42 years, and says there have been some dicey moments. There’s a photo of Asa and Jermaine, looking toward the future. I love the one of Mike and his dog, who is a much better partner than Jessica. Mike talks about how he messed up, learned from his mistake, and has no choice but to move on. Reza compares being married to how a stew gets better when it’s been marinating for a few days. Shervin’s photo is with Annalise and he’s happy with how things are moving ahead.

Asa gives a speech about togetherness. She says when you love each other, that’s what’s at the core, and you stick it out no matter what. Asa gets a bouquet of red roses. They’re from GG, apologizing for her past bad behavior. Is she doing a 12-step program?

Mike is next. Another bouquet with an apology. And one for MJ and Shervin. I’m impressed with the apologies because they’re very specific. Whenever someone apologizes, I always like to know exactly what they’re apologizing for. Reza gets one too. GG includes her lie about the video. Asa says GG must have had a life-shifting epiphany.

Reza says he has a confession. He wrote all the letters. In her interview, GG says she’s sad, embarrassed and disgusted. He says all of them deserve an apology from GG. My mouth is hanging open. He says it comes from a place of compassion and hope, and that he knows she wishes that she could do something like that. He’s hoping the next one comes directly from her.

It’s not well-received. MJ says something like this has to come from her. GG says that some of the issues in the “apologies” are things she’s gotten over with that person and now they’re being dredged back up again. Asa says that Reza told the truth and GG should make it hers. Asa is a decent person, which is why she’s not absolutely livid that Reza chose her art show as a venue to make his point. I get where he’s coming from, and it’a a unique way to try and make someone else’s light bulb come one, but how unbelievably rude to take the spotlight away from Asa. I probably don’t have to tell you that I wouldn’t be so decent to let that pass.

Asa makes a toast. She says there are a lot of feelings going on. (She’s diplomatic too!) She talks about her parents telling her you need love, patience and forgiveness to make a relationship wotk. MJ says it’s never going to be the same. Reza asks if GG has a video of him and I don’t catch what she says, but he says he can’t have anything to do with her anymore and tells her to grow up. In her interview, she claims that someone told her there’s a video out there. She tells Reza she’s sorry he’s so distressed. Asa keeps trying to intervene, but Reza and GG keep talking over her. GG says she doesn’t know what to be – she wants to rage, but she wants to rise above.

Rage wins. Reza and Adam are leaving, and she takes off her shoes. We all know what that means. I just feel badly for Asa, once again being embarrassed in front of friends and family.

GG takes off after Reza and blindsides Adam. There’s all kinds of screaming and yelling and Shervin holds her back. Her sister tells GG to put he shoes on and get in the car. Reza decides to go home. He says he doesn’t wish GG harm and hopes she finds her way, but it doesn’t include him.

Asa says none of them is perfect, but it’s what happens afterward that’s important. Each of them talks about the group and how they’ve always stayed together. Reza talks about it being family and it’s the same as being in a real family, but he’s done with GG. GG says they love hard and hate hard, but she’s hanging on to hope for tomorrow.

Everyone leaves. The camera pans out to the title of the art show: Together 17,903 Days

No preview of the reunion.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

The grand opening of Melissa’s boutique, Envy, is this week. Husband Joe is taking care of the kids and it’s not going well, especially since he’s trying to work at the same time.

Teresa talks about the rumors regarding her and Joe #1 divorcing. She says she has old school values and wonders who started it. Her lawyer says the final restitution check has been paid, which is a big relief.

Siggy meets Jacqueline for lunch. They talk about their kids. Siggy says every day there’s a fight over the phone with her teenage daughter. She says it’s easier to get along with her ex-husband. They talk about the party and Siggy says she really enjoyed meeting Teresa. She feels badly about all the articles coming out. Jacqueline says the tabloids are a touchy subject with Teresa.

Joe #2 is on a work phone call while the kids go crazy. Geez, at their age, I went to work with my father and wouldn’t have even thought of behaving like that.

Teresa is doing an audio version of her book, Turning the Tables. They begin with the introduction and she immediately starts to cry. It’s hard for her to talk about leaving the kids and we flash back. She says at the rate she’s going, she’s never going to get through the book. After that, it’s on to a publishing meeting. Teresa talks about how she and Joe #1 have grown closer through the trials and tribulations. The title of the book is discussed and Teresa says people attribute it to her flipping a table (flash back!), but it’s really about how her life flipped around. She’s shown the cover of the book.

Joe #2 calls Melissa, saying she has to come home immediately because he has a work problem. She says she can’t and he’d promised her that he’d take care of the kids today. He says the queen can have her job back.

Dolores’s daughter, Gabby, discusses the future with her while she bathes her guinea pig. Dolores talks about the difference when she was growing up and how she’s always stressed the importance of an education. Somehow the guinea pig jumps the tub and this is the highlight of the scene.

Chris is developing some popcorn and is hoping the new recipe works. (I’m not kidding. He’s going into the popcorn business) He says trying to sell the house has been a bust, but he thinks this could be the answer to their financial problems. Jacqueline says she didn’t marry him for his money, since he didn’t have any, and he’s been her rock.

Joe #2 says he’s happy for Melissa’s business acumen, but he just ate peanuts for dinner. Don’t they have a microwave? And what did the kids eat?

Stuff with Siggy and her kids. Zzzzzzzzzzzzz……….

Chris has a popcorn meeting. He says having a son with autism has made finding snacks a challenge, and this has no gluten, GMOs or even popcorn in it. It’s made entirely of purified air. He says there’s a trade show coming up and he needs a revision of the logo/box/whatever in a few days. He wants something more cheerful than what the team has come up with.

Teresa is doing a rock climbing thing with her daughter, Gabriella, so they can have bonding time. Siggy and her daughter, Sophie, join them. While the girls do some climbing, Siggy talks to Teresa, asking her where the tabloids get such crap. In her interview, Teresa says maybe years ago she would have been offended with the same questions. Siggy says what brings her and Teresa together is a lack of control of what comes out of their mouths. Dolores joins them and they talk about going to Melissa’s opening.

Melissa is getting her make-up done. She says she wants to set a good example for her daughter in that you can be a successful businesswoman as well as a wife and mother. Better not ask Joe #2 about that. She talks about her father dying in a car accident when she was 17, and how she misses him whenever there’s a milestone in her life. In the car, Joe tells her that her father is right next to her and she doesn’t even know it

Siggy calls Jacqueline, who goes into shock about Teresa’s non-reaction to Siggy’s tabloid question.

Melissa and Joe #2 have press pictures taken before the opening. A mini red carpet. The champagne flows. It’s Teresa’s first event where there is going to be press, and Gia is accompanying her. Joe #2 talks to Chris about Joe #1. Jacqueline’s daughter, Ashley, thinks the new Teresa is just a publicity stunt and it’s just a matter of time before she goes back to her shallow, nasty self. Ashley, whose finest moment on this show was pulling Danielle Staub‘s hair out of her head.

Teresa sees Kathy. We flash back to Kathy calling her crazy, and Teresa says she’s learned to be emotionally detached. Chris asks Teresa where Joe #1 is, and she tells him it’s Joe’s grandmother’s birthday. Sure it is. Melissa thanks everyone for their support with a special thanks to Joe #2 and her partners. She tells them to shop and have fun. I actually like her merchandise. It’s sophisticated, but youthful.

Chris and Teresa chit-chat. Joe #2 tells Melissa that even though he was giving her a hard time, she’s still the best wife ever. Melissa says once he starts seeing sales, he’ll have a whole different perspective. There’s a fashion show and Joe #2 struts the runway in a snappy red number.

Teresa clips Joe #1’s toenails and I gag. Afterward, they do yoga. Well, Teresa tries to do yoga while Joe acts like it’s sexy time. She kisses him and tells him he eats too much garlic. He says she should be glad because that means he’s not kissing anyone else. Oh, I see. Garlic is reserved for the wife. She tells him if he cheats on her, it’s a deal breaker. Joe has seemed like he’s on Valium since before Teresa went to prison, and reacts with a placid look.

Chris calls. He tells Joe he was hoping to see him at Melissa’s opening and invites them for dinner on Friday. We flash back to the last dinner there, which didn’t go well. Joe #1 says that you forgive, but you don’t forget.

Next time, a children’s fashion show, Siggy wants to redecorate, dinner at Jacqueline’s house, and Teresa and Jacqueline argue.