Category Archives: science fiction

Apr4

April 3, 2016 — The Land of Oz, the Dead Finale, Cait, Atlanta & Potomac

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

Once Upon A Time

Back in the Land of Oz, Zelena looks into her magic mirror and sees her mother, Rose MacGowan, giving her away as a baby. The computer generated Scarecrow drops in. Zelena needs some things for her time travel spell — innocence, love, courage and wisdom. She’s thinking of starting with the Scarecrow’s brain for wisdom, but Dorothy storms in.

Dorothy says she has the most powerful weapon of all, the love of the people. Zelena is about to throw a green fireball at her, when Toto, who is used to this gig, brings down the curtain — on Zelena’s head.

Hades tries to hurry Gold up, but he says the magic can’t be rushed. Hades wants a portal to Storybrooke and he wants it now.

Back in Storybrooke, Belle is tending to Zelena’s baby with Mother Superior’s help. Except Mother Superior is really Zelena who’s come for her baby.

Gold asks Hades what he wants with Zelena’s child. Hades isn’t talking though. He says just get him the baby, he’ll rip up the contract, and Gold’s second born child will belong to Gold and Belle again.

Zelena picks up the baby. The real Mother Superior draws a weapon, but Zelena thinks she’s bluffing. Gold is putting some of his own blood in the cauldron and all of a sudden a portal opens up in the middle of the room. No baby though.

Belle, Zelena and the baby are in the middle of nowhere. A nowhere with a red sky. Zelena recognizes it as the Underworld. Zelena says they’re here because of her, and that Hades wants her baby. She begs Belle to hand the baby over, but while Zelena is incapacitated, Belle jets.

In past Oz, Zelena pressures the Munchkins as to the Scarecrow’s whereabouts. Hades drops in and she asks who the hell he is, which he says is a more appropriate question than she knows. He says her handiwork has impressed him and he’s heard a rumor she’s dabbling in time travel. Zelena says she would have had the brain from the Scarecrow if it hadn’t been for Dorothy. Hades wants to help her out, but she wonders why he’d want a time travel spell. He won’t tell her and she says she doesn’t need his help.

Snow and David are at the Underworld diner. Snow is fretting about Neil. The proprietress tells them they can speak to him; it’s just a simple haunting. She has David breathe into a tube as payment because the breath of the living brings a nice price on the black market. She tells them to go down the street to the phone booth and tell the operator who they’d like to haunt. Doesn’t the diner have a phone? I guess the Underworld is the only place with a public phone now.

Henry has written some more story, but doesn’t remember writing it. Everyone has their ideas and he suggests maybe they’d like to write it themselves. Zelena knocks at the door. Regina asks if she’s dead, but she says she came through the portal along with her baby, who’s in danger.

Hades shows up at Zelena’s place in old Oz. He tells her he can help; he wasn’t just blowing smoke. He says he knows she’s thinking about her sister, who got everything while she didn’t. He says he gets it, because his brother Zeus put him in the same position. All he was left with was anger and a thirst for vengeance, and only true love’s kiss can free him. Zelena says she can give him a run for his money and he says that’s why they have to find the ingredients. He says he can find the scarecrow and if he can travel back in time, he’ll be the one on Olympus while his brother suffers.

Robin says he can track anyone and will find the baby. Belle takes the baby into a library. An elevator opens and Gold comes out. He asks what she’s doing there and if she’s dead. She says no, she’s there with Zelena. He says that explains why the spell didn’t work — it brought all three of them. He explains about the deal he made with Hades. Belle is surprised to find out she’s pregnant, with a baby that Gold already sold. He says that can be fixed and she’s upset that he’s the Dark One again.

He takes out the dagger and says he loves it, but he loves Belle too. He says he’s sorry though, but this is who he is. He doesn’t want to let the power go again. Belle asks not even for her? He says falling in love with the man behind the beast wasn’t what she did. She fell in love with the man and the beast, and one doesn’t exist without the other. She says she can’t deal with it, and he says she just has to choose to, and they can have a family and happiness. She says she doesn’t want to make any choices until he fixes things and she’s back in Storybrooke.

There’s a pretty long line for the phone booth.

Zelena asks what they named the baby. Robin says he’s been too busy protecting her to name her. Regina says she was like Zelena once, but her enemies became her family and now she’s happy. She says that when family needs your help, you step up. Zelena says her family does need her help — her daughter is her family.

Back in the day, Hades and Zelena go to the forest where he brings out a bicycle. He tells her to get on it with him and they ride through the forest. She says it’s like a broom with wheels. They take a tumble and get a little flirty. She asks how the bike is going to help. Hades says the bike is enchanted and belongs to Dorothy. It will take them to the Scarecrow.

Belle, carrying the baby, meets the others in the woods. Belle wonders what Zelena is doing here. Belle says Zelena stole the baby, but Zelena says it’s her baby. The baby starts to cry and Zelena wants to feed her. Robin says she’d better give the baby back when she’s done. Zelena gives the baby a bottle, but refuses to return her.

Snow and David join the others. They’re not sure if there was actual communication or the dead just hear their voices.

Zelena tries to calm the baby, but her magic won’t work.

Old days Hades and Zelena ride to a cabin where Dorothy and the Scarecrow are. Dorothy tries to intervene, but Zelena gets the Scarecrow’s brain. Zelena says she’s not going to kill Dorothy because she wants Dorothy’s people to know she can’t protect them. Zelena tells Hades he was right, but he’s disappeared, leaving only the bike.

Robin and the crew try to get Zelena to come out. She brings the baby out and says she can’t protect her. She says Hades wants to use her for a time travel spell. She says he had love in his heart and because of her, it’s gone. Regina says he needs the baby because it’s a symbol of innocence. Zelena tells them to take the baby and protect her, even if it’s at the expense of her never seeing her baby again.

Robin doesn’t want to name the baby yet, as Hades can do things like put it on a gravestone to keep someone there. Henry comes out with more of the story. He says he doesn’t remember writing it; it just wrote himself. It’s about Neil hearing the voices of his parents. Lots of warm fuzzies. Snow wants to get moving. She says they’re taking down Hades.

In old Oz, Hades has prepared a wonderful dinner for Zelena. She asks if it’s a farewell dinner, but he says he’s not going back. He says it’s true love between them. He says his heart fluttered for a moment on the bike and he believes his heart will start again and he’ll be free. They almost kiss, but Zelena stops it. She says she almost believed him, but she thinks he just wants to steal the brain for the spell. She says love isn’t enough. Hades says he doesn’t want revenge any more; he wants her and loves her. She says no one can love her and even if so, it would take away her chance for revenge. She tells him to get lost and he says she’ll regret it.

Zelena and Hades meet in the Underworld. He says he was looking for her. She says he was looking for the baby and she was just a happy accident. She says she thought she’d make it easy, but if he touches the baby, he’ll be sorry. He says he’d never hurt her because true love endures. He says he was trying to rescue the baby from the others. He tells her he made the Underworld look like Storybrooke for her, so she could have what her sister did. He says despite his best intentions, things don’t grow there, they decay, but it’s their decay. He says what better revenge is there than having it all? He says now they have to get their baby. Zelena says she wants to trust him, but she can’t. She says she’ll get her daughter back on her own.

Zelena never knew her own birthday and Hades tells her it’s April 15 (tax day — ha-ha!). He tortured it out of the miller’s daughter. He says he knows she doesn’t need anyone, but if she decides she wants him, he’ll be waiting at home as he always has. And he disappears, poof! in a puff of smoke

Next week, Gaston arrives, Hades tries to get Belle’s baby, and Gaston tries to kill Gold.

The Walking Dead

Morgan is tromping through the forest. He sees a sign that says “You Are Alive.” Nearby is a saddled horse. No surprise, there’s someone else in the woods — the guy who picked up Carol’s rosary.

A guy runs through the forest. Someone is chasing him. And whistling.

Rick and company need to find a doctor for Maggie. Carl tells Enid she has to stay behind. He says the Saviors are out there and she knows what they’ve done and tried to do, and it’s not happening to her. Enid says she’s going. Rick doesn’t want to bring Eugene, but Eugene insists. Carl agrees to let Enid come along, but then locks her in a closet. She says what if he doesn’t come back. He says she’ll survive somehow. Eugene, Abe and Sasha get into the RV. Spencer insists on coming too.

The guy in the woods has been caught. Spokesdude says he broke the rules and people had to die. They wanted to fight, so this is the way it has to be. They start beating the crap out of him.

Gabriel goes over the plan for those staying behind. He’s in charge and asks if Rick is comfortable with that. Rick says yes. Some guy asks if the Saviors show up if they should try and make a deal. Rick says wait for him. He has a deal for them. I’ll bet.

Morgan, now riding the horse, sees a bunch of dead guys. Then he sees Carol in a doorway. She says she told him not to come. He checks out her injuries.

Dude in the forest is now getting dragged out of the forest into the middle of the road. Spokesdude says they’re gong to make an example of him.

Maggie isn’t doing too well, but Rick says it will be okay. He says everything they’ve done, they’ve done together and everything has worked out because it’s been all of them. He says as long as it’s all of them, they can do anything.

Morgan dresses Carol’s wounds. He tells her she needs stitches and antibiotics. He says at dawn they’ll head back and get her some help. She says no. Like he’s going to listen.

The RV comes across the group of guys from the woods blocking their way. They get out of the van. Rick tells them they can make a deal. Spokesdude says that’s right, give them all the stuff. They’ll probably have to kill someone, but then they can move forward with business. Rick says that’s not going to work and he was actually going to ask for their stuff, but he doesn’t have to kill any more of them.

Another guy spray paints the almost-dead guy (?) and Spokesdude says he’s not going to negotiate. Rick says they’re leaving then. Rick asks if they want to make today their last day on earth. Spokesdude says no, but what if it’s the last day on earth for Rick or someone he loves? He says you never know. More last day on earth talk and Rick gets back in the RV. Abe backs it up down the road.

They park the RV to regroup. Carl asks Spencer why he didn’t stay at Alexandria. He says he owes her and asks why Carl came. He says he owes them. Eugene and Sasha plot out a new route.

Morgan tells Carol that Rick, Daryl and some of the others were looking for her too. He says they’ll be back by the time they get to Alexiandria. Carol says he can’t just tell her to come back. Morgan says her people care about her. She says she cares about them, that’s why she can’t be there. He says that’s why she has to be there. She says if you care about people, there are people you’ll kill for. If you don’t want to kill or can’t, you have to get away. Morgan says everything in this life is worth a damn and out there on her own, she’ll die. Carol says let her die then and Morgan says he can’t. Carol draws her gun and tells him to go. She lowers it and says please. She says if you care about anyone, you have to pay a price and she can’t anymore.

Abe asks Sasha if they could do it, what Maggie has done. He says he could do it now, just so she knows. Uh-oh, another blockade. Sasha asks if they’re making their stand. Carl says they end it now. Rick says not yet, but they’re playing it the way they want it and tells Abe to go slow.

There are a bunch of vehicles and guys with guns. They shoot into the air.

Morgan goes outside and sees a zombie hanging from some scaffolding, and several more outside the gate. He climbs up the scaffold, stabs the zombie in the head and cuts him down. When he goes back in, Carol is gone. Did he really think she was sticking around after that speech? He gets back on the horse and leaves.

In the RV, they talk about the men blocking them and that this was a different group. Their main concern is getting Maggie to some help. Oh man, what now? A horde of zombies is blocking the road. They’re chained together. Abe says putting together a Red Rover like that takes people, a lot of them. They realize each zombie signifies one of their group. Just as they’re about to dispatch the zombies, gunfire starts.

Miraculously, no one gets shot. They make it back to the RV and take off.

Commercial break. Next week is the season premiere of Fear the Walking Dead. I almost gave up on this one until they pulled out all the stops in the season finale. Looks like the new season is going to be an improvement.

Rick said the Saviors were trying to block the road, but didn’t stop them, so they want them to go in this direction. Maggie is burning up and Rick is getting worried. There it is. Another blockade. This time with a lot more people like a giant cheerleader pyramid. Rick tells Abe to go back.

Morgan continues to look for Carol. He sees someone freshly dead and sees a rosary. It’s not Carol though. Carol is stumbling though a farm. A not too bright zombie is banging around a dumpster and she closes the open ramp on him. Another zombie comes out of nowhere and she kills it. Then the guy who took her rosary comes out next and knocks her down. He draws a gun on her.

He tells her that she’s going to lie there and he’s going to watch her die like his friends did and that he’s going to die too, and let’s see who wins. He shoots her in the arm and says it’s a good start.

Commercial break. New show Outcast looks pretty decent.

Rick tells Maggie they’re getting there. She heard the shots, but Rick tells her it was the Saviors and they’re gone. He says the baby is okay and there will be more. Maggie says she believes in him.

Rosary dude asks Carol what she’s smiling about. She says she’s going to die, so there’s nothing wrong anymore. He shoots her again. He asks if she’s suffered enough and she says probably not. He doesn’t know what the blip to make of this. He starts walking away and she says unless he kills her now, she’s not going to die. She says he needs to decide. He comes back and is going to shoot, when Morgan shows up with a gun and tells him to drop it, please. He doesn’t and Morgan shoots him. Way to go, Morgan. Carol says to let her go, but he says it’s not her time.

Morgan turns around to see two pseudo-knights. He says he found their horse and his friend needs help. One of them says let’s get her some help then.

Rick and company come across yet another blockade, this time a burning one, and are looking around when a guy drops off the bridge behind them, hanging by his neck. They can’t waste a bullet on him though, so zombie he will be. A voice says something about their last day on earth and tells them to get out. They do.

Rick says Maggie needs a doctor now. Sasha says there are two more routes, but Rick says they’re waiting. Eugene says they’re waiting for the RV and it’s going to be dark soon. He and Eugene make a plan. Rick and the others are leaving with Maggie, and Eugene is going to keep driving. Eugene gives him a map to where the bullets are. Rick says they’re lucky to have Eugene and Eugene says he can’t argue with that. Abe tells Eugene he was wrong. Eugene is a survivor and always was, they just didn’t know it. They hug and I have a bad feeling about everything. And rightly so, since this is the season finale. Sad music while Eugene watches them leave.

Commercial break. Fear 462. The conclusion. Obrecht takes off her oxygen mask. Dude from Fear the Walking Dead sees the plane in the sky. We’ll find out what happens with the flight in the premiere.

The crew carries Maggie through the woods on a stretcher. Carl says they can do anything. They have and they will. He says he’s not going to let anyone die like Denise again. They hear whistling and take off running. They come to a clearing and are in a spotlight. There’s a ring of people around the clearing and the RV is there. A lot of whistling that’s more annoying than spooky. Rick looks totally freaked. Eugene is there on his knees.

Spokesdude says you made it to where you’re going, and takes their weapons. Rick suggests they talk, but Spokesdude says they’re done talking, now he’s going to listen. He comes up to Carl and says, “It’s yours, right?” He tells them to get on their knees. This is so not good. They take Maggie off the stretcher.

Dwight takes Michonne, Daryl, Rosita and Glenn out of a nearby truck. It’s time to finally meet Negan.

Negan comes out of a truck carrying a Flintstones style club. He asks who’s the leader and Dwight points out Rick. Negan introduces himself and says he doesn’t appreciate his people being killed. He tells Rick he has no idea how not cool that sh*t is, and he’s going to regret crossing him in a few minutes. He says you don’t cross New World Order. He tells Rick to give him his sh*t or he’ll kill him. He says today was career day and they invested a lot in showing them who he is and what he can do. They work for him now. They’re stuff belongs to him.

Negan says Rick ruled the roost, built something and thought they were safe, but they’re not even close to safe. He says what he wants is half of their stuff and this is their way of life now. The more they fight back, the harder it will be. He asks Rick if he understands, but Rick doesn’t say anything.

Negan says they’re going to be punished. He’s not going to kill Rick because he wants Rick to work for him and he can’t do that if he’s dead. He says Rick’s people killed more of his people than he’s comfortable with, and he can’t let that go, so he’s going to beat the holy hell out of one of them. He introduces his club as Lucille. I name it Wilma.

Negan walks down the line, talking macho bs. When he gets to Maggie, he tells her she looks sh*tty and he should put her out of her misery. Of course this makes Glenn go crazy. Dwight pulls him back. Negan tells them the first one is free, it’s an emotional moment, but don’t anybody do that again.

Next, Negan picks on Carl, knowing that he’s Rick’s son. He says he has to pick somebody. Ugh! He starts whistling and walking down the line again, saying he can’t decide. He does eeny, meeny, minie, moe. How old are we? Five? Everyone is all shaky and crying, which I find difficult to grasp after all they’ve been through. He says if anybody tries anything, he’ll take Carl’s other eye out and feed it to Rick. Alrighty then. He starts beating on someone but we can’t see who it is.

There’s a blank screen rip-off ending, with screams in the background.

Why is there never a season finale with Rick’s crowd ending up on top?

I Am Cait

This is funny. Jenny pronounces Monday “Mundee.” The girls make fun of this, but she’s actually correct. When I was in acting school, I took Standard American Speech and that is the way you’re supposed to pronounce it.

Kourtney calls Cait and Cait tells her that she’s meeting Scott in St. Louis. She wants to make sure it’s cool with Kourtney. Scott has been in rehab, so things are good between them. Cait explains to the girls that Kourtney and Scott had three kids, but never got married. I didn’t know that.

Cait asks Chandi why she thinks that many trans women of color are sex workers. Chandi says they’re more likely to be rejected by their parents, who would rather hear they’re gay. Cait wonders why they it’s difficult for them to get real jobs. Candis says it’s most likely a discrimination issue.

We see the St. Louis Arch. They must all be exhausted.

Apparently not that exhausted. Candis is working out with her personal trainer. They go out for a snack. The trainer, Andrew, asks her about dating and if she’s open with the men she dates. Candis says she has to be, and the reaction depends on the person. He asks what she likes and she says tall, dark and handsome (which he is) and he says he thinks it’s just around the corner.

Cait and Chandi have breakfast. Chandi feels there are some loose ends and wants to tell Cait about her past. She says before she started performing, she ran with the wrong crowd. She did some white collar crime, like writing bad checks, and ended up in prison. Wow. I wouldn’t have guessed that. It was pretty scary and Chandi never realized the repercussions being a felon would have. Chandi says her parents weren’t there for her, but only because she didn’t tell them. Everything was about trying to survive.

Scott comes to visit. Scott asks how it’s going on the bus and Cait says there’s a lot of interesting conversation. She thinks it will be good for Scott to meet the girls and hear about their experiences.

They all go to a bar and meet up with Van, a friend of Zachary’s. They joke about Scott being an honorary trans woman. Cait goes for a motorcycle ride. Candis follows, but takes a spill and goes back to the bar. Zachary talks about the high amount of trans women who are murdered. They’re going to a memorial for them.

Van talks about transitioning twice. She went back to being a male for a while because she couldn’t find a job. Cait identifies, having had hormone therapy in the 80s. Jenny talks to Scott about how to explain Cait’s transition to his children. She says in her experience, it’s a bigger deal to grown-ups than to kids. I’m sure.

The girls take a break from the bus and go on a riverboat cruise. St. Louis is a really beautiful city. And very clean. Chandi talks about the new term “pan sexual,” basically being open to anything and testing the waters. There’s some discussion about surgeries. Scott seems sincere about his interest in getting answers to questions he might be asked.

Chandi’s mom, Tina, meets them back at the hotel. They go out to dinner. I would totally gain weight on this trip. Andrew joins them. Jenny talks to Scott about his split from Kourtney. I have to admit, I’d always thought Scott was a bit of a d-bag, but he seems to be a decent guy.

Scott says that he hasn’t talked to Cait all night and he has to call it a day. He leaves and Candis suggests Cait has been ignoring him. They get back to the hotel, and Candis and Andrew get a drink. They step outside and Andrew gives Candis his jacket. Candis asks what Andrew is thinking. She says he’s cute and she could kiss him, but he says he doesn’t think he could go there just yet. She says on that note, she’s going to bed and she’ll call him. Yeah, that wasn’t the response I expected from him either.

The girls go to the Transgender Day of Remembrance. Andrew comes by Candis’s room. He tells her something came up and he has to fly out. He asks about last night. She says she felt like they had something, and assumed his hesitation is because of the trans thing. He says yes, but there’s no judgement, it’s just him. I would be okay with this, but he sure seemed like he was flirting, so why did he lead her on? Candis is understandably hurt. I feel hurt for her.

Cait has breakfast with Chandi and her mother. Cait asks Tina what her concerns were when Chandi first told her about transitioning. Tina says she questioned herself as a mom. She says she had a hard time at first because she’s religious, but she realized that God accepts us as we are. She says even though Chandi is different than she is, she’s still her child.

Cait goes to Scott’s room. Scott says if Cait is going to be a woman, maybe she should tone down her knock. Ha-ha! Cait says she heard Scott was thinking of leaving, but she thinks he should stay. Scott says that he came there to visit her, but is spending more time with her people. Cait says that he has a lot in common with them. She says that she’d always felt isolated and didn’t fit in and when she surrounded herself with good people, it helped. She says he’s kind of in the same boat. Scott says he thought the drinking made him fun and cool, but no. He says he’s there for Cait and she says ditto. Cait says it’s not so much going through the issues, it’s how you come out. Scott says he feels better now that they talked and not so much like an outsider. They hug and Scott says maybe Cait wants to tone down the hugs too. These two have a cute relationship.

They go to Remembrance Day and names of the murder victims are read. Candis says it could have been any one of them. A memorial garden is dedicated and Kate makes a small speech about them being the first generation to be more open and fight against transphobia.

This season, Kris visits, there’s a ski trip and a golf outing, Christmas trees in LA,  and more politics.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta — Reunion Part Three

Again, I decided to forego the first half to watch I Am Cait in its entirety.

When I come in, they’re talking about the Feds visiting Cynthia’s house regarding Apollo’s stuff. The guys are on stage and Peter said the agent basically said he thought there was stolen stuff there because of the show. Phaedra says she had nothing to do with it and had it been her motive, she would have done it before anything aired. Kandi seems skeptical. Phaedra acts offended, but Kandi says she’s been secretive and done some weird sh*t.

Andy asks Todd if he thinks Phaedra called the Feds and he says yes. Phaedra gets offended again, but Todd says she’s kind of transparent. Phaedra talks about Todd running around with Apollo and Todd brings up how he helped her cut Apollo out of the exercise video deal. Todd says she seems to know what he’s doing all the time, so maybe she should have kept better tabs on Apollo. He suggests she’s not as innocent as she claims about what was going on with Apollo’s schemes.

Phaedra pulls up some emails where Todd asked for an update, meaning when is she going to settle up about the video. Todd whips out a couple of papers. Kandi says Phaedra ties up loose ends at the last minute, just before she knows things will become public. Kandi gets defensive about Todd. Todd says he kept his mouth shot about Phaedra owing the money pretty well, but they’re square now. The husbands exit. After Andy asks Peter how drunk he is.

Andy talks about Porsha going off on an assistant and we see “previously unseen footage,” which really means they saved it for the reunion. OMG. Porsha is in a short, white, furry outfit, running after some poor soul and screaming. Dwight picks up the hat with ears that she lost. Apparently Porsha beat someone down, tearing off her wig and everything. Porsha makes excuses I’m not even going to bother with. We flash back to the person Porsha attacked, who was an assistant. Andy points out that Porsha has been in three altercations since being on the show and asks if that’s her normal way of handling things. Porsha makes noises that she’s the victim. When Kenya tries to say something, Porsha whines. Nene says she managed to make it through the season without giving anyone a beatdown.

Phaedra says Porsha went to anger management and acknowledges that it’s something that needs to be treated. Kenya says some of the cast members have felt uncomfortable around her. Kandi says what’s worse is that it’s happened more than once and that the women are automatically on the defense. Porsha talks about remorse afterward, but the others say that’s not true, that she’s smack talked afterwards. Aww, poor Porsha is upset and says she’ll only answer questions from Andy.

She tries to blame the show, but Andy says the pressure is true for everyone. Kenya says she wants to blame everyone else for her loss of control. Kenya and Porsha get into a mini argument. Sheree says something, but I keep being distracted by her almost black lipstick that looks like something out of The Rocky Horror Show. I don’t mean that in a bad way, but it’s definitely attention grabbing. Nene says Porsha has made some bad choices. She says things like fighting and twerking will mar your brand. Kim think Porsha should be congratulated that she’s going to counseling and is honest about that. Porsha says one of those phrases I hate, “I’m a work in progress.” That always seems like an excuse for being a screw up to me.

Everybody says boring stuff about what the season meant to them and what they learned or whatever. Phaedra uses that work in progress term again. No surprise that she and Porsha used that phrase. They’re the two phoniest cast members who constantly make excuses for their bad behavior, which is always somebody else’s fault.

The Real Housewives of Potomac

I can’t believe it’s the season finale of The Walking Dead and this show is still going on.

It’s the morning after the night before, and Charrisse is just waking up. She says she has no complaints about her 50th birthday party.

Robyn and Gizelle are taking the kids horseback riding. Gizelle says it’s not something she enjoys because of the dirt. Um…it’s not farming. Robyn is concerned that there aren’t more Black families, so her kids can play with kids who look like them. She brings up Katie’s calling them bi-racial. For one, I don’t get why that’s some kind of insult, and for two, I don’t believe they have no white ancestors. No way, no how. Gizelle says she’s having a “come to Jesus” lunch for the ladies because they should have each other’s backs.

Karen is getting Rayven off to college. Karen is distressed that she’s so cool about moving out. I totally understand.

Katie has a farm in Virginia that she bought when she was a model. She and Andrew are going there for a romantic weekend. Katie says she doesn’t understand why a couple of the others can’t relax and have fun, adding that there’s more to life than just gossiping when that’s what she’s doing right now. Gizelle calls Katie about the lunch. Katie does not sound enthusiastic.

Andrew tells Karen he’s going to Scotland and she’s not invited. She says she understands, but she’s bummed. I think the time is running out for him to propose.

Ashley is waiting on the rooftop for Michael, who is bearing sushi. They talk about the restaurant they’re opening. Ashley also wants to get going on having a baby. She’s thinking a month after the opening. He says if they break even. Ashley talks about the upcoming lunch. Ashley hopes she and Karen can work things out, but Gizelle seems to have a problem with the butt-grabbing business. I can’t even believe anyone is still talking about a 3-second event at a party.

Katie’s farm has cows and everything. Katie and Andrew go to a place she calls “the vortex.” There are all kinds of flowers and such and Andrew proposes. Nice, but anticlimactic after all this time. Or what feels like all this time. Beautiful ring, no surprise.

Gizelle and her girls are making dinner. Gizelle’s father, Curtis, is joining them. Curtis was a big part of the early Civil Rights movement. He tells a story about Martin Luther King and how MLK prayed and got a miracle. He seems like a cool guy. What happened to Gizelle? Curtis is also getting some kind of award for his efforts.

The girls are meeting at a restaurant. Gizelle says nobody is getting up until everything is resolved. Hope they have sleeping bags with them. Gizelle says they’re all grown, sophisticated and educated, and should be able to talk things out. I do a spit take. There hasn’t been one cast member who’s demonstrated those qualities.

Everyone is there except Katie, but Robyn doesn’t think she’s coming. Gizelle makes a little speech about how they don’t listen and gives them a sign to hold for when it’s there turn to speak. Karen gets it first and talks about her non-gala and how she doesn’t want Ashley talking about her daughter. She suggests Ashley have her own baby, and rather crudely for one sooo concerned with etiquette all the time. Again I ask, where did they find these women? The other girls look like they might choke.

Ashley says she’s chill, but she says that Karen has made some oddball comments about her and her husband. She also says she acted like Michael wanted to get in her panties at the beach house. Gizelle calls the issue done, but I’ll bet not. Katie arrives.

Katie takes the sign and says she’s engaged. She shows the ring and tells the story. Robyn takes the sign and tells Katie she thinks they need a Black history lesson. Katie brings up Robyn thinking butt-grabbing is a white thing. Oh. Please. Gizelle says she was the first to notice and thought it was disrespectful. Katie asks why bring race into it. Katie says she was trying to show them their hypocrisy in their bringing up race all the time by calling them bi-racial. She wonders why there’s a problem with it anyway. Gizelle says Katie has a problem with being Black and Katie says she’s a stupid woman who says stupid things. Probably the first honest thing that’s been said here.

My TV suddenly decided to go wacky here and pull some poltergeist moves. I did see the end of the show though where everyone gave a one-word toast with things like love, wealth and dynamic. With each woman, they showed what’s happening in their lives.

Absolutely nothing.

Next week, The Reunion. This should be good. Bring earplugs.

Mar28

March 27, 2016 — A Mutiny, a Debate, a Reunion, the Dead & the Wives

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

Once Upon A Time
Henry takes off with Cruella in the coolest car ever. Her license plate says DeVIL and I feel really, really stupid because in all these years, I never realized her last name spells devil. Henry makes her stop near a forest. Cruella isn’t interested in tromping around in her heels, so she tells Henry to go ahead. The Sorcerer’s Apprentice stops Henry. He tells Henry it would be a mistake to resurrect Cruella. He says Henry should only record the stories, not create them. The sorcerer says the quill is protected by a powerful spell and the sheriff has the key. He tells Henry he trusts him to make the right choice.

Emma tends to Hook’s wounds. He says she went into the darkness for love, but he did it for revenge and doesn’t measure up to her. She asks if he wants to stay in the Underworld. There’s a knock at the door. It’s Hook’s older brother, Liam.

We flash back to Hook and his brother working as indentured servants on a ship. Liam suggests they join the Royal Navy when they’re finished. The captain comes by and kicks some crap onto the deck that they have to clean up. He tells them only Liam can go collect their money, which will be paid to him. Liam says he’ll be back and they’ll be free by sunrise.

Hook says the only way out of the Underworld is to defeat Hades. He asks Liam if he has any knowledge from being there so long. Liam says he’s heard about a book from people who have tried to overthrow Hades. He says he’s in on the mutiny.

Snow and David look for the book. Liam asks to talk to Emma. He tells her Hook blames himself for being there, but Liam thinks it’s Emma’s fault. He says Hook had the chance to die a hero and she took it from him. She asks if he was this self-righteous while he was alive. He says when it comes to his brother, yes, and if she really loves him, she’ll let him go.

Hook and Emma start looking for the book. Henry says he thinks he knows where it is, but they need the key from the sheriff, who is also David’s evil twin, James.

Back on the old ship, Liam returns and the captain says only he can leave. Hook took the captain up on his offer of a drink and ended up gambling his half of the money away. The captain says Liam should just leave the dead weight behind him. Hook says he can’t be the brother that Liam deserves. Liam says come hell or high water, he can’t leave his brother.

Hades is in the bar where Liam is bartender. Hades says he knows about the mutiny. Liam asks what he wants. Hades says he wants the book destroyed, or at least the pages he’s on. He says the sorcerer’s house doesn’t like him very much, so he needs Liam to get it.

Snow and David break into the sheriff’s office. They get the key, but hear Cruella coming in. Snow jets out and David pretends to be his brother. Cruella has brought champagne and says momma has had a long day.

Emma asks Regina what she thinks of Liam. Regina realizes Liam doesn’t like Emma. Emma says he doesn’t think she’s good enough for Hook. Regina says he the type who doesn’t forgive himself.

Henry, Hook. Liam and Emma take the key to the sorcerer’s house.

On the old ship, a storm is brewing and the ship is going right into it. Hook tries to tell the captain they should change course, or they’ll face a hurricane. The captain says there’s a reward for the ship that goes inside the hurricane, so too bad, they’re staying on course. Liam and Hook stage a mutiny. Hook asks if it’s going to be the easy way or the bloody way and the captain surrenders. Liam tells Hook to tie them up while he goes to get the captain’s maps and whatever.

The sorcerer isn’t a very good housekeeper. There are cobwebs everywhere. Emma tells Henry to be the lookout while they look for the book.

Liam finds the book. While alone, he turns to the pages with Hades in them, and rips them out, saying he’s sorry to his brother.

Cruella is sitting on David’s lap, trying to ply him with champagne. Finally he has enough and asks her if his brother really goes for this nonsense. Cruella says she’d hoped he’d pretended a while longer. She says she knew he wasn’t James because although he looks like James, he doesn’t have James’s “delicious damage,” the damage David is responsible for.

The Storybrooke gang realizes the pages with Hades are gone. Regina says she took her pages out when she didn’t want Henry to know she was the evil queen. Liam pretends like he didn’t know the pages were missing and says maybe they fell out somewhere. They go off to look.

Emma tells Hook something is up with Liam, but he blows her off, thinking it’s just because of Liam’s attitude toward Emma.

Hades shows up in the midst of the storm. Liam is in the captain’s quarters and Hades says he can help him. He says Liam’s dreams of the King’s Navy are over. Liam asks how he would know about that and Hades shows his blue, fiery hair. Liam says he’s a demon. Hades says technically he’s a god, but a lot of people make that mistake. Liam draws his sword. Hades promises if Liam allows the ship to be sunk, he’ll spare Liam and his brother. He says he’ll also give him a rare gem stone. Hades says it will fulfill all of Liam’s dreams.

Liam ditches the pages in a well. Emma comes by and he claims he’s getting some air. Emma tells him that he’s Hook’s hero and wonders why he lied to Hook. Hook comes by and Emma says Liam has the pages. She says he’s been hiding his hands since she got there and tells Liam to show Hook his hands. Hook says he doesn’t care. His fate isn’t in Storybrooke, it should be determined there. Emma says no matter how many times people tell him he’s good enough, he doesn’t listen. She leaves.

Liam shows Hook his hands and they have ink on them. Hook asks why Liam lied. The ship’s crew comes out of the woods and the captain says that Liam has to pay for what he did to them.

Back on the old ship, they’re in the middle of the storm. Liam gives Hook his lucky ring, saying that’s how sure he is, and takes the wheel. Hook makes a speech about trusting Liam with his life.

In the Underworld, Hook asks what this has to do with the missing pages. The captain says Liam isn’t the hero he pretends to be. He says he saw Hades visiting him at the bar and says he traded their souls for the eye of the storm. The guys take Hook and Liam to the edge of the precipice above the Lake of Fire, and the captain tells them to walk the plank. Liam asks them to spare Hook, but that’s a no. Liam tells Hook sorry he failed.

Hades shows up asking if someone decided to have a party without inviting him. Bye, captain! Hades says only one of them kept the bargain with him. Liam tells him to spare Hook and that he had nothing to do with it. Hades says too bad and over the edge Liam goes. Hook grabs his hand, but Liam says to forgive him and lets go. Hades says Liam will pay for this and disappears poof! in a cloud of blue smoke. I guess his sacrifice spared Hook.

Liam is in a little boat and drifts up to Hook. Liam says this is what he should have done in the first place. Hook tells all the men they’re free now and to get in the boat. He says his unfinished business isn’t done yet. Liam says to tell Emma he was wrong and that she does want what’s best for Hook. The brothers say good-by and Liam sails away.

In the old days, Liam and Hook wash up on shore. Some soldiers from the Royal Navy find them. The captain says if they went into the storm, they deserve what they got. Liam produces the stone and the captain sings a different tune, saying he’s a hero. His ship will take them to the king. Liam says he’s going to ask the king about a Navy position and the captain says they can do that right there.

Hook tells Emma what happened, and how she was right about Liam, but he sacrificed himself. Hook says he saw the truth that he is good enough for Emma. They kiss.

Henry pokes around the sorcerer’s place. He finds the quill and some ink. The others are still combing the book, but the pages with Hades are gone. David finds Henry upstairs and asks what’s up. Henry says he doesn’t want to talk about it. David says he learned that his twin brother resented him his whole life. He says he wanted what David had, a family and tells Henry that his family is pretty great. Henry asks him not to make it a lesson.

Henry shows the others the quill. He tells them about Cruella and how he almost helped her with it. He says he realized how much power he has and wanted to be the hero rather than the one rescued. He says he knows better now and is going to write the stories as they are. They wonder what Hades is trying to hide from them.

Hades finds the pages from the book and looks through them. He comes to a picture of him and Celena. He says their secret is safe.

Next week, Celena visits Hades and a reckless romance must be stopped.

The Walking Dead

Strange beginning. It’s either raining or dripping blood and there are voices in the background. Then we go right to the credits and an ad for Fear the Walking Dead which tricks us into thinking the show started.

Carol sews her jacket and packs her bag. Tobin comes upstairs. Carol hides her bag under the bed. He talks about Denise and Carol spaces out. Carol says she’s concerned about when Tara finds out. Tobin says everything will be okay and kisses her. When he’s asleep, Carol slips out while a Johnny Cash song, It’s All Over, plays.

The song continues as we see what everyone is doing. Glenn and Maggie are taking a shower together; Daryl sits on his bike, Denise’s key ring in his hand; Sasha gives Abe a cigar; Rosita guards the gate.

Rick and Michonne are in bed. She takes a bite of an apple and gives it to him. This is so they can get cozy and not have morning breath. It’s an old French trick. They talk about how ultimately, everything went pretty well. Michonne has to leave for her shift. She says Maggie is worried about an attack. Rick says it won’t be like before and everyone knows what to do. He says the world is theirs and they’re not losing anybody again. Don’t get cocky, Rick.

Michonne, Glen and Maggie see Daryl leaving Alexandria on his bike. Glenn says they have to stop him. Abe pops out of nowhere and Rosita tells him to cover her shift because she’s going with them. She gets in the car with Michonne and Glenn.

Rick asks Tobin when Carol left, but he doesn’t know. Abe comes up and tells them that Daryl just took off. Tobin notices there’s a car missing. Abe says he’s going to find them and Rick tells him to wait. He says not to let anyone else leave and to be ready for a fight. He leaves with Morgan.

Commercial break. Fear 462. The oxygen masks drop and it looks like the plane is dropping too.

Carol is driving a car with giant spikes sticking out of it. A car comes from the other direction and some guys shoot out the tires. They sit in the back of their pickup and wait. Carol tucks her rosary in her sleeve. A guy says hands up and she asks them not to hurt her. What the blip has happened to Carol? She gets out of the car.

The guy asks where she’s from and where she’s going. He says he’s Hugh. She says she’s Nancy and she’s bounced around a lot, that she’s not from anywhere or going anywehre. He says they agree on one thing, she’s not going anywhere, but she seems like she is from somewhere. He says Alexandria has cars out front like the one she’s driving. He says she shouldn’t be out there alone and they can give her a ride back, since it’s where they were headed. Carol hyperventilates.

She says they could turn around and no one needs to get hurt. They start to come for her and a gun from somewhere shoots them all. A gun from carol’s sleeve. Apparently, part of her sewing project. One of the guys who is still alive comes after her, but she stabs him with one of the car spikes.

She tells another survivor to come out. He says he’ll pass. Blood is dripping from everywhere (like in the opening scene) and he comes out in attack mode with a knife.

Enid tells Maggie to put her feet up and eat some pickles while she takes Maggie’s shift.

Morgan says he thinks Carol went east. Rick says he doesn’t even know her. Morgan says there is no right, just wrong that hasn’t pulled you down.

One of the guys Carol shot is wounded. He stumbles out of the truck, surveying the damage.

Rick and Morgan drive up. They see Carol’s car, but no Carol. Rick grabs a guy who’s still breathing and asks where she is. He just gurgles, so Rick puts him out of his misery. He and Morgan look around cautiously. Rick says the men were Saviors. Rick says Carol took four of them down and she’s a force of nature. Morgan sees a blood trail going into the woods. Rick notices the guns are gone.

They follow the trail through a field. The wounded guy comes out of the woods and picks up Carol’s rosary. He follows Rick and Morgan.

Rosita and Glen go to the train tracks where Denise died. Glen asks her which way Dwight ran.

Daryl is also going through the field and nearly hits Rosita with an arrow. Daryl says they shouldn’t have come and Glenn says he shouldn’t have left. Daryl says he’s going to do what he should have done. Glenn says they need to figure it out from home and that everyone there needs them right now. He says it’s going to go wrong out there. Michonne asks Daryl to come back, but he says he can’t . He walks into the woods. Rosita says she can’t either and follows him. Glenn and Michonne go back.

Glenn says they need to find out more and Michonne agrees. Glen says after everything they did, he thought they would figure it out together. They hear a whistle type signal. A bunch of guys with guns surround them. Dwight is one of them.

Rick and Morgan see more blood. Morgan asks Rick id he’s there because Carol is his friend. Rick says Carol is his family. Morgan asks Rick about when he kicked Carol out of the prison and what he would do if that happened today. He adds that she came back and saved them. They see someone stumbling along, but it’s not Carol, it’s a zombie.

They go to a farmhouse, where there are a couple of dead people outside. They see a guy attack a zombie. The guy runs into the barn. He says he’s looking for his horse and Rick says they’re looking for a friend. The guy runs out and away, but Rick and Morgan can’t go after him because a slew of zombies come out that they have to deal with. Rick says maybe he’s from Hilltop. Morgan says he could be from anywhere.

Morgan says he found a Wolf who had attacked him once before. He found him hiding in one of the brownstones in Alexandria. He says he could have killed him, but he kept him in a cell instead. He says when Carol found out, they fought about it. He says when the Wolf escaped, he ended up saving Denise’s life, who in turn saved Carl. He says it’s a circle. He tells Rick to take the car home and that he shouldn’t be taking any more chances because he’s needed there. He says somehow, he’ll find Carol.

Rick asks if he’s coming back. Morgan says yes, but if he doesn’t, don’t come looking. Rick makes him take a gun. Before he leaves, he tells Morgan that Michonne did steal the protein bar (something I don’t even remember, but it sounds like something from Survivor). Morgan says he knew that.

Rick gets back and asks if Michonne is there, but she’s still out with Glenn. Abe asks Rick if he’s afraid to get close to anyone and he says yes. Abe says him too, but he’s ready to rip the world a new one.

Maggie tells Enid she needs some more help. She wants Enid to cut her hair. She says she has to keep going and doesn’t want anything to get in her way. Like shoulder-length hair? Enid does a pretty good job, but then Maggie goes into labor.

Glenn and Michonne are bound and gagged. Daryl sees them from behind a tree. Dwight comes up behind him and I say “oh no!” out loud. We hear a shot, Daryl pitches forward, and Dwight says, “You’ll be all right.”

Next week, it’s the 90-minute finale, Rick wants to make a deal, and a humongous war happens.

I Am Cait

The girls go for mani-pedis. The next stop is Dubuque, then Des Moines for the debates and then Graceland University where Cait went to school. They will be giving a talk there. She says the school is religiously affiliated and she wants to allow the student body to ask questions. Ella is kind of nervous about that, since she knows a couple of guys who go to school there.

They go to a fund raiser for Chicago House and Cait gives a talk. Cait visited one of their homes that houses people from the trans community. There is a protest outside where the protesters say that Cait has no clue about the real trans community issues. One of the protesters says that Cait doesn’t speak for them, and Cait explains that she isn’t trying to speak for everyone, only herself. Like there isn’t enough pressure, I guess she’s supposed to be a role model for every person who’s ever had gender reassignment surgery. Non-conformists unite!

Back in the limo, Chandi is like, that person isn’t even showing their face, how are they helping the community. Jenny says it’s the first time Cait has seen some people’s reservations about her. Jenny says she’s a public figure, but also a problematic figure and she needs to pay attention.

I just want to interject my two cents here. Why is it that just because Cait transitioned, she is supposed to be a totally different person inside as well? I thought the whole point was to put your body in sync with your mind. Not the other way around.

They pick up Candis’s sister, Mimi, and head to Dubuque. The first stop is a lingerie store. Cait says she thinks there’s some wild things going on in Dubuque. They go out to eat and Cait suggests sampling “mountain oysters” (i.e. bull testicles), but that idea is vetoed.

A local trans representative sits down with them and they discuss the evening’s casino event. The girls are going to be dealers for the night. Kate says this is a good way for people to experience meeting their first transgender person and see that they’re sweet.

A 13-year-old girl tells Cait she’s having trouble coming out and Cait gives some wise advice that’s probably true for everyone. Surround yourself with positive people who want the best for you and if anyone gives you trouble, tell them to get the hell out.

Back on the bus, Kate says they’ll be going to the Democratic debates, and says she doesn’t want the firestorm they had before. She says there will be a lot of young people of both parties there and they want to set a good example. She says “God bless America” will be the “safe” word and if someone hears it, they should check themselves for being too aggressive. Candis is afraid that Cait won’t be able to meet in the middle about her political debates and is afraid she’ll go off on a rant’

The ladies go to Drake University where the debate is being held. It’s also where Cait ran her first decathlon as Bruce. It must be weird, going back to the old places. Zackary says Cait’s conservative politics are of concern to all of them, irritating me. Because everyone has to think the same. There are surprisingly few people at the debate. Cait tries to talk to Kate about Bernie Sander’s policies and Kate God bless Americas the crap out of her. Kate gives her a B+ for listening and communication.

Afterwards. the moderator asks for opinions and points out Cait in particular. She says that transitioning was a cakewalk until people found out she was a Republican. Aren’t we even getting to meet Hilary? Oh, here she is. Caitlyn comes up to Hilary to say hello and introduces the group. Zachary says all of them were star struck, but I dunno about that. Cait says she thought Hilary was “sweet.” That’s probably the only time we’ll ever hear that word in connection with her. Bill Clinton comes in behind, where Hilary makes him walk, and takes a picture with the girls.

The girls go out for dessert. Ella texted a football player she knows from the school, who she wants to get together with. Cait says that she treated Hilary with respect and wants the girls to treat the people at the school with the same respect.

Here’s something else I think. Obviously, Cait has a celebrity status the majority of the population, trans or otherwise, doesn’t, so maybe she’s not the greatest example for the trans community. However, if those same things make people more comfortable with the issues and more willing to be open-minded, why fight that? Erin Brochovich wasn’t afraid to use her femininity to get to the bottom of that drinking water case. Amirite?

Cait says she never wore heels at Graceland, and she’s kind of nervous. She meets her old coaches. She wondered what they’re reaction was going to be and it looks like it’s pretty normal and they’re still proud of her. Ella says she’s not going to be able to talk on stage. She meets her friend, Michael, from high school. The other guy who was supposed to come is AWOL. Candis is bummed, but gives full kudos for Michael. He joins Ella and the girls for lunch. The ladies ask Michael how he felt when he first saw Ella after her transition and he answers appropriately that he was in awe of her gorgeousity.

It’s time for the assembly and the ladies take their places on stage. The professor moderating says there are no wrong questions. The first one is about balancing religion with being a trans person. There is mic drop silence from the girls and Chandi says she’ll take it.

Chandi says that she was told her life was an abomination and lost touch with God. She says she realized that God knew who she was going to be before she was born and she reconnected and now will never let that connection go. Kate says look for the heart of the doctrine you’re following, and if it’s mean, think twice about following it. Sadly, her daughter is high up in the Church of Scientology and she hasn’t seen her daughter since she was nine, because she’s considered evil. They talk about things like pronouns and what it means to be a woman. Ella says she’s the same person she was before the transition, and I go, ahem, thinking about them not allowing Cait that same grace.

One of the kids asks how happy they are. Cait talks about not knowing who she was. Now she’s excited about life, but there was a lot of struggle first. Jenny says it was Cait’s turn to be worried about what they would say, but everyone was respectful and eloquent. I agree. Everyone is proud of everyone.

Cait says that no matter what your situation is, you can live an authentic life. It’s about dealing with all of our stuff, not just trans issues. Candis apologizes for being too hard on Cait and says she’ll be more open to her conservative views. Cait says they’ll have plenty of time.

Next week, Candis flirts with her trainer, and Cait meets with Scott.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta — The Reunion, Part Two

Because some new shows started tonight, I couldn’t watch my line-up without something overlapping. I chose to miss the first half of this one, since Once Upon A Time doesn’t repeat and I didn’t want to lose any of I Am Cait. I think those girls have more important things to say than these girls. So we join our program already in progress.

Dylan is there, but gets the bum’s rush before he gets a chance to say much. Andy asks Phaedra about getting her groove back after Apollo going to prison. We flash back to various Phaedra scenes, many with the kids, and of course the visit to the prison. Andy asks about the visit part we didn’t see. Phaedra says she thought it would be more emotional with the kids, but it really wasn’t. She talks about Apollo not wanting the divorce. Andy asks about them going back and Phaedra isn’t too keen on it and talks about some weirdness in the room during the visit and also that the kids got pretty bored after about an hour and it wasn’t like they could just leave.

Phaedra says she’s glad that’s over with, so people can mind their own business. Andy stirs the pot by asking is it anyone in particular. She throws some shade at Kandi, but Kandi says that she just finds it sad that Dylan doesn’t know his dad and one day Apollo will be out of prison, so they need a relationship. Kandi says she has to be honest about the pros and cons as a friend. Phaedra says none of the guys who were his friends have ever checked on the kids seeing if they need a male role model. Cynthia says that she’s told Phaedra she’ll be there if she needs her. It looks to me like Phaedra freezes people out and then gets pissed when they’re not asking if she needs help all the time.

They talk about Phaedra’s boys and it is a little sad. Phaedra talks about them always being her babies and when Aiden said he was afraid, it broke her heart.

Porsha is asked about her strange on-camera relationships. Porsha says she’s not in a relationship with Oliver (the latest), but they speak every day. They move on to the Miami trip. We go back to Kenya asking that weird guy to leave. They talk again about how Porsha and Phaedra acted like Kenya was labeling him as a Black man. It turns out even the president of Black Lives Matter tweeted Porsha and told her to knock it off. Kenya says that the dude had an aggressive and threatening manner toward women, so it wasn’t exactly an example to be setting. Kim said it was more awkward than aggressive and wonders why Kenya didn’t ask security to remove him. Kenya says she went to Tammy first. She says that it turns out the guy also had been involved in unsavory activities.

It’s brought up that it was Kenya who invited him back to the house. She says yes, but with Tammy. Phaedra says it was a case of Kenya wanting him, but him not being receptive. I disagree. The tape shows how aggressive he was and if he hadn’t been and Kenya was interested, she would have just not taken no for an answer, not asked him to leave.

Kandi comes to Kenya’s defense, saying the guy had no right to behave the way he did. She said Kenya did nothing wrong and she can’t believe they all think it was okay. Cynthia admits that had it been anyone else, it wouldn’t have been a big deal. Kandi says at the end of the day, Kenya does some crazy stuff, but regardless of whether you like her or not or what she said was right or not, the guy shouldn’t have behaved the way he did.

Next week, The Reunion, Part Three, Nene shows up in a barely there outfit, Porsha’s violence is called out, and the men join the ladies.

The Real Housewives of Potomac

No reunion yet? How is this show is still on???

Robyn meets Gizelle for lunch. Gizelle toasts to new beginnings. She asks if Juan told Robyn about their conversation. She thinks they should figure out what the end result of their relationship is going to be. Robyn says the “ingredients” are there, but she’s not sure if she wants to be open again. She says if Juan takes an out-of-state job, it will force them to make a decision. Gizelle thinks it’s important for the children as well.

Katie meets with her friend Tia. They talk about Andrew a little and Katie moves on to Karen’s “gala.” Katie says it was more like a cocktail party. Agreed.

At Karen’s house, a family cookout is being planned. Karen says it’s the first time in 19 years that they’ll be alone. She and Ray talk about the gala that wasn’t. Ray asks her about the altercation at the end. Karen says Ashley tried to out-queen her and that wasn’t going to happen. Talk about exaggeration. Jealous much?

Katie and Tia talk about Gizelle. Katie says other than dressing like a prostitute and acting bitchy, Gizelle is a nice person. Better duck. That shade is being pulled down.

Ashley picks up her mother, Sheila, for lunch. Sheila bought a house and had to sue the previous owner. She won the suit, but the amount wasn’t enough to cover everything, so she had to declare bankruptcy. Ashley and Michael want to buy Sheila a new home, but Sheila thinks it’s too big of a gift. Ashley says she’s in the position to do it and she wants to. Sheila says she never wants to be her burden. Ashley says that’s not the case. I say, geez, they have a skabillion dollars, take the house. And pick out a nice house. In her individual interview, Ashley says it’s bizarre that Karen doesn’t want Ashley around her daughter, since she actually makes a pretty good role model.

Charrisse is turning 50 and she says it’s going to be a new Charrisse. She’s going to have a slide show of her pictures during her party. Not too egotistical. Katie comes over to give her modeling tips for her birthday photo shoot. Charrisse says she’s having the party at the Carnegie Library. Her husband can’t make the party, but I don’t think she cares a whole lot.

It’s Rayvin’s going away party and Karen is getting ready with last minute stuff. She’s about to put her feet up for a second, when the bartender shows up, who Karen had no idea was hired by her husband. Spousal communication is a universal problem. She tells Ray he made her look like an idiot and he tells her not to sweat the small stuff.

All the relatives and friends gather in Karen’s backyard for some barbecue. Karen cries on Ray’s shoulder in the kitchen because she’s having a hard time letting go.

Gizelle sits her girls down for a family meeting. She says she’s been dating a little and she wants to talk to them about it. She asks them how they feel about her dating. I suppose the chant of “get a boyfriend” answers that question. Charrisse drops by with her dogs. They chat in the kitchen. Gizelle asks if Eddie is coming to the birthday party. Charrisse says she’d love for him to be there, but it is what it is. She also says the party is totaling around 80 grand, so maybe it’s good he’s not around.

Robyn meets Juan for lunch. Juan wants to be a head coach, but has to work his way up. Robyn asks about the out-of-state job. He says nothing is going on with that yet, and Robyn is relieved.

Charrisse’s birthday is upon us. I’m speechless. I don’t even know what to say about the slide show, giant cake and a billion balloons. Katie says Karen should take note on event planning and I have to agree with that. She also says it’s kind of like a wedding and I have to agree there too. A sad wedding. With just a bride.

Ashley says hello to Karen, who can’t brush her off fast enough. She asks the girls how she became the bad guy all of a sudden. In a moment of the pot calling the kettle black, Gizelle says Ashley can be a bit of a dum-dum. Karen says she doesn’t have time for Ashley’s shenanigans tonight. Gizelle wants them to talk, but doesn’t get anywhere. Ashley catches Karen in the hall and asks if they can talk, but Karen says no, she’s there to enjoy the evening with her husband. In her individual interview, Karen says Ashley doesn’t belong in this world. Does anyone? Ashley is kind of like a persistent puppy and somewhat annoying, but on the other hand, I just don’t see what the big deal is here. I usually don’t when it comes to Karen, who makes it up as she goes along.

Charrisse makes a costume change. Her daughter makes a little speech and it’s very sweet. A reasonably sized cake comes out. Charrisse does some rapping and her father looks less than impressed.

Michael grabs Andrew’s behind. Why? Who knows. Ashley says he’s just being silly. What’s really weird is, Michael and Andrew are talking and having a drink, while the ladies are discussing it. Gizelle asks if butt-grabbing is a white thing. For whatever reason Ashley thought Robyn and Gizelle were bi-racial and they get all offended. Then they go back to more butt-grabbing talk. Zzzzz….

Katie tells Andrew about the discussion. Katie says Robyn and Gizelle seem fixated about how Black they are, and are the most obsessed with race.

Ashley says something to Michael about the butt-grabbing being a white thing and jokes that it is. Ashley says she’s grabbed everyone’s butt except Karen’s. I don’t think I’ve ever grabbed a friend’s butt. Charrisse is happy with her $80,000 party, so that’s all that really matters.

Perhaps Michael has had too much to drink because he gets teary-eyed over how lucky he is to be married to Ashley.

Next week, we still can’t get rid of them, the girls go horseback riding, Ashley wants a baby, and Andrew goes on a golf trip without Katie.

Mar21

March 20, 2016 — An Exhausting Night of TV

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

Once Upon A Time

When we last left him, Hook had to decide which of his friends would be staying in the Underworld. He refuses. Hades says he’s disappointed…and angry. He sends Hook to solitary. He tells Hook if he touches the River of Lost Souls, he’ll be lost, so he’d better keep his hands inside the boat.

Gold finds a note from Peter saying that the shop is his to do what he wants. He cooks up some eye of newt stuff in a cauldron. He looks into a crystal ball and sees Belle. He drops the ball, smashing it.

The others are planning on springing Hook. Gold comes in to discourage them from their plan. He has an aura of a dead person that he can give himself and Emma to get through. He knows someone who will give them their aura.

Back in the old days, a snake has bitten Gold’s son.

Gold sees his wife as a crossing guard in the Underworld. He tells her he’s not dead, just visiting. He says her job is ironic, keeping children safe. He asks her if she wants to go on a romantic adventure and says they need to get Hook. She says she’s responsible for the children, and he says, um… they’re dead already. He asks if she’ll help him if it means saving Hook. Hmm….

Hook is being held by Hades above the River of Lost Souls. Hades tells Hook that they brought contraband into his world, which is forbidden, and he still sees hope in Hook’s eyes. He wants it to be gone before Hook reaches the water. He tells Hook to feel free to go mad.

Gold introduces Mila, his ex-wife (and Hook’s ex), to Emma. Mila is like, you’ve been with my ex-lover and son (Neil). Gold says they’ll laugh about it one day.

Regina approaches Cruella. She wants to know how to find someone in the graveyard. Cruella says let’s sit down and be civilized.

Gold, Mila and Emma join hands to get through a barrier to the low place of the Underworld. The Under Underworld, if you will. The door slams shut behind them.

Olden days Gold and his wife approach a witch doctor for a snake bite cure. He says the potion is very rare and will cost 100 gold pieces. They don’t have it and leave, but Mila says they’ll come back and take it.

Emma thanks Mila and tells her that she’s had a vision of Neil and he’s moved on and is happy. Whatever he had to resolve, is done. They’re at the River of Lost Souls where there’s a boat. Mila says they can take it to Hook. She has her reasons to want to come with them.

Regina asks if she finds a headstone if that means the person is in “Underbrooke.” Cruella says no, it might mean they’re just passing through. Cruella happens to have a cemetery plot map on her, which is pretty convenient. One color means they’re there, another they’re just passing through and another means they’ve moved on.

Emma, Gold and Mila take the boat to where Hook is. Gold tells Emma he’s staying in the boat and she’ll be fine on her own. Mila stays with him.

Olden days Mila buys a dagger with their last gold coin for Gold/Rumpel to kill the witch doctor. She tells him to do something brave for once. He leaves and some brute tries to pick Mila up. Hook intervenes. He introduces himself. Mila asks him if it’s wonderful to travel the ocean. He says it’s pretty amazing and asks her if she’d like to see it. She says she has responsibilities of a husband and child. I’m guessing they “hooked” up later? Hahahahaha!

Hook dangles over the water and drops further down when Emma comes in. She walks out onto a platform above the water toward him. I love the sets in this show! She manages to grab Hook and get him onto something stable. He tells her she should leave. Of course she won’t. Like she traveled all that way just to leave him there.

Mila talks to Gold while they’re waiting. She tells him her unfinished business wasn’t Hook, it was their son. She should have been there for him instead of punishing him because she hated Rumpel. She wants to move on so she can see him and apologize. Gold says he betrayed him as well and was forgiven, and he’ll forgive Mila.

Rumpel sneaks into the witch doctor’s tent. The doctor wakes up and says he cold kill Rumpel with a single spell, but does nothing because he knows Rumpel doesn’t have the guts to kill him. He asks how much Rumpel’s son means to him. Rumpel says everything. He says Rumpel can leave with the cure and they can make a deal. He says he would trade anything to save his son.

Hades shows up, but tells Gold he’s not there to fight. He wants to make a deal.

Snow meets Regina in the graveyard. They find Daniel Colter’s grave. Regina knows he’s not there and happy. She says he was her first love and will always live in her heart.

Gold has a drink with Hades who says he’s a fan. He says he’s been a good supplier of souls. He wants Gold to sink the boat so that his friends don’t have a way out. Gold says he can do it himself. Hades says he could, but he wants Gold to do it. Gold says Mila already saw Hades, but Hades says Gold can figure that one out.

Rumpel brings the cure back and says he didn’t even have to steal it. He says he didn’t want his son to grow up with a monster as a father, so he signed a paper saying he’d give the witch doctor his second child. Mila says he sold their future. He says the son they already have is all the future they need. Mila says thanks for deciding her future for her. Typical man. She says she’s going to the tavern.

Gold destroys the boat and tells Mila, congratulations, he’s finally become the man she wanted him to be — the one who takes what he needs. He dumps her into the river.

Emma and Hook appear, and Gold tells them Hades blew his magic back at him and that’s how Mila disappeared.

Regina and Snow come upon a hurt horse. Regina cures it and it gives her a thank you look. Snow is surprised that Regina’s magic worked.

Hook, Emma and Gold join the others. Hook says they lost the boat and a friend though. He tells Gold he should kill him, but he did help him get out, so they’re even for now. Gold says he just wants to get home and you’re welcome. Regina tells them her magic is working and as soon as they find an exit, they can get out. All of a sudden her magic won’t work though.

Regina, Snow and Emma are stuck in the Underworld.

Gold pops back to where the witch doctor lives, in full Rumpel regalia. He says the doctor took advantage of him and he admires that, but he wants to dissolve the contract. He says he can’t owe a debt to a dead man and takes his heart, saying he loves a loophole.

Gold comes to see Hades. He says he destroyed the boat, now send him home. Hades says things have changed. He’ll send him home, but not today. He says Gold tried to hide something from him and looks into the crystal ball to see Belle. He says he did a little digging and thinking, and knows Gold was trying to figure out where his son went. He says Belle is an image of his next child because Belle is pregnant. He produces the witch doctor. He says death doesn’t nullify a contract in the Underworld and the doctor signed it over to him. He says at any time he can cash the debt in and take Gold’s baby.

All magic comes with a price. The price is that Gold works for Hades. And there’s something he needs Gold to do that only he can do.

Next week, Hook begins a mutiny, Hook’s brother shows up, and Hook wants to move on from Emma.

The Walking Dead

All seems calm in Alexandria. Carol is back and on the porch having a smoke. Morgan is practicing free masonry. Rick comes by to see Morgan. Morgan is building a jail cell to give him some choices next time.

Why are we seeing the same scene we just saw? Different perspectives? Yes. Carol examines her rosary and Rosita gets dressed.

Daryl takes a toy soldier out of a pouch and tosses it aside. Carol comes by and he asks for a smoke. They’d better start growing tobacco if they want to keep this up. She asks about the people who stole his bike after he saved them. He says he should have killed them.

Daryl asks what the Saviors did to Carol and Maggie. She says they didn’t do anything.

Spencer asks Rosita what they’re doing. She says dinner, but I think he means about their relationship.

Denise shows Daryl where an apothecary is and asks to go on the next run. He asks how much time she’s spent on the outside. She says none, but she can identify the drugs there. She says she’ll go alone if she has to.

Daryl, Denise and Rosita go on a run. Daryl is having a hard time driving a stick (something I find more unbelievable than zombies existing) and Denise tells him she can drive one. He stops the car and he and Rosita get out. Rosita dispatches a zombie and goes through his pockets.

They get Denise and decide to walk. Rosita wants to take the railroad tracks and separates from Daryl and Denise.

Eugene and Abe discuss being a man. Eugene says, the key to survival is allowing oneself to be shaped by the environment. He says he’s changed and adapted and he’s a survivor. Abe says keep telling yourself that.

Denise and Daryl meet Rosita at the crossroad. Denise asks Rosita who taught her to fight. She says a lot of people taught her a lot of things. Everyone is a font of information tonight. They approach the apothecary and Daryl opens the door with a crowbar.

Abe and Eugene enter a building. Abe asks what they’re doing. Eugene says they’re going to manufacture bullets, using spent casings. I’m not sure why someone hasn’t suggested this before, even though Abe acts like it’s “outside the box” thinking. A zombie comes in and Eugene wants to be the one to kill it, but it has metal over it’s head and Abe steps in. Eugene says he had dibs and Abe says he’d have better luck picking up a turd by the clean end. Eugene says killing zombies is in his skill set and Abe says manufacturing bullets is in his skill set. Eugene says he doesn’t need Abe or his protection anymore. Abe tells Eugene to find his own way back. Why did Eugene act like such a d-bag there?

Commercial break. Fear 462. Potential zombie dispatched. Obrecht freaking out. Plane window cracked.

Rosita, Daryl and Denise enter the apothecary. They find the pharmacy area. Rosita breaks open the gate. Daryl says they’re going to take everything. They probably should. They’ll need it sooner or later. They hear some noises and Denise decides she’s going to kill whatever it is. What is up with the minor characters proving their bravery tonight?

Denise opens a door to an empty crib and a bunch of garbage. There’s a zombie wearing a cast on the floor and a sink full of blood with a little sneaker floating in it. WTF? Denise runs out of the room and goes outside. She sits on the sidewalk and is bummed by everything.

Daryl and Rosita come out. Daryl tells her she did good finding the place. Rosia says she tried to tell Denise she wasn’t ready. They walk back to the car.

Denise tells Daryl about her brother Denis. She says he was brave and angry, a dangerous combination. Daryl says it sounds like they had the same brother. Denise approaches a car and a zombie pops up making us both jump. She thinks there’s a cooler in the car they can use. Daryl tells her forget it, but she decides to try anyway. The zombie grabs her and they tumble to the ground. Denise makes her first zombie kill. Guess she was a little ready. She throws up. Okay, maybe not so much ready. She lost her glasses in the frey and finds soda in the cooler. Daryl says she could have died. She says if you want to live, you take chances. He says, for a couple of sodas? She says, no, just his one

Rosita asks if she’s that’s stupid. Denise asks her if she is. Denise says she’s training for this, and not making it up to go along. She says she asked them to be with her because Daryl is brave and Rosita is stronger than she thinks she is, giving Denise hope. She says she cold have gone with Tara and told her she loved her, but she was afraid. She says she needed to do this and can’t believe they’re not being supportive. She says they’re strong and they’re smart and —

Hole m-f-ing-f! Denise gets an arrow though the eye while she’s talking and a huge group of guys come out of the woods. They have Eugene. I think I’ve stopped breathing forever.

Dwight, on of the people who stole Daryl’s bike, asks Daryl if he has something to say. Nope. A couple of the men pat Rosita and Daryl down on the ground. Daryl says he should have killed him. Dwight says yeah, he probably should have, and asks who brought this on who? He says she wasn’t who he was aiming for. He says it’s not how they like to start new business arrangements, but he didn’t start this. By the way, he used Daryl’s crossbow to kill Denise.

Rosita asks what they want. He says they’re going to let them into Alexandria and take whatever or whoever they want, or they’re going to blow all three of their brains out. Eugene tells them to start with whoever is hiding behind the barrels and that he deserves it more than they do.

One of the guys goes to check it out and Eugene bites Dwight in the man parts. Chaos ensues with everybody shooting and then zombies joining the mix. I still haven’t started breathing again. Dwight manages to escape getting shot and those who are left flee into the woods. Daryl starts to follow, but Rosita stops him.

Wow. This sux. Eugene is wounded too. Rosita says the f-word, even though we don’t hear it. Denise lies dead on the railroad tracks.

The rest make it back to Alexandria. Eugene tells Abe he wasn’t trying to kill him and asks for an apology for trashing his skills. Abe apologizes and says welcome to stage two. Abe goes to see Sasha. She asks if he’s okay. He says she told him he has choices and that she does too. He says it could be 30 years for them there. She asks him to come inside.

Daryl and Carol bury Denise. Carol tells Daryl he was right.

Carol leaves a note for Tobin. She says she didn’t want it to end this way. They have everything they need and other people want it. She says she loves them all and would have to kill for them and she can’t. She says she wound up staying, but can’t anymore. She can’t love anyone because she can’t kill for anyone and asks that they not come after her. It’s thar same beginning scene again and Morgan sees Carol’s empty swing.

Next week, Rick gets a message, Daryl goes off on his motorcycle (presumably not to find himself), and Rick tells everyone to get ready for a fight.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta — The Reunion — Part One

Kandi is looking awesome and says baby Ace is doing well. Kim looks the best I’ve seen her like she’s channeling Marilyn Monroe. We take a trip down Memory Lane with some flashbacks from the season.

Andy asks why gave the best shade, and called Phaedra “Shadera.” Ha-ha! We go over some insults from the past season. Kenya gets into it with Phaedra pretty quickly. Go for it, Kenya, because I’ve started to dislike Phaedra intensely.

Andy asks Porsha about trashing Kenya’s new product and she says it was fun. Either she didn’t understand the question or she’s even more stupid than I thought. Next up is Kandi’s baby and family drama. After the flashbacks, Todd joins the group. Baby Ace has over 100K Instagram followers. And they haven’t even shown a picture of him yet. I’m speechless.

They talk about the restaurant venture. They’re hoping to open on Kandi’s birthday. They follow with TMI about Kandi’s breast milk.

Andy asks Sheree how it’s been being back on the show. Sheree says it was all good. They talk about Kim’s first season. Are there more flashbacks than usual? Andy asks Kim if she thinks the show is a good fit for her. She says it was entertaining. Andy asks the other women what they think. It’s a no for Kenya. She says Kim is pretty condescending. Kandi says Kim doesn’t want to deal with confrontation and a that’s what a lot of the show is about. Phaedra and Porsha kind of say the same thing, that she doesn’t engage and is judgmental. Porsha says she expected her to be “the aunt” of the group. Kim says she’s more opinionated than judgmental. Cynthia says she didn’t really hang out with the group and Kim says most people don’t know she’s shy.

They talk about the trip to Washington. Kim says it was presented as an educational tool. Sheree asks why she thought it wasn’t appropriate for the kids then. Sheree says it was a good experience for her son, however, he is nineteen and Kim’s kids are still pretty small. Personally, I think Kim is a compelling choice for the show, but she did seem like she didn’t want to be a part of it a lot of the time. I understand wanting some free travel and a weekly paycheck, but still.

The topic of Phaedra not paying Todd for the exercise video comes up. Well, Andy brings it up as Chief Pot Stirrer. Phaedra says she’s made every step to move toward a better place. Kandi says they both want things to be better. Kandi brings up several idiotic remarks Phaedra made. Phaedra says again that she’s done what she can and she was annoyed about Apollo’s stuff being at their house without her knowledge.

Phaedra says that Kandi claimed she was trying to get sympathy, but that wasn’t the case, and she’s not fake, she’s just trying to be polite. They talk about Apollo’s stuff again. Kandi says she didn’t think it was any kind of secret. The Todd thing comes up again and we are caught in a loop. Phaedra says she’s paid up now, as of last week. Convenient timing.

Andy asks if Kandi’s “team” overstepped their boundaries. Kandi doesn’t think so, and neither do I. Phaedra says it’s unprofessional for employees to act like friends. They are friends, so how should they behave? Porsha puts in her two cents. If she had half a brain, she’d be dangerous.

The topic of physical violence comes up. Porsha talks about Kenya’s big mouth, but Kenya says she’s never actually put her hands on anyone, unlike Porsha. Andy catches Kenya texting Matt about the dog. Flashbacks about Kim and Kenya’s continuous altercation.

Kim does give Kenya compliments on Kenya’s flair for comedy, and that she’s not afraid to be a pretty girl who’s not playing “pretty.” That’s a nice compliment, although Kenya says that Kim threw shade when she watched Kenya’s pilot with her husband. Kim says her problem isn’t with Kenya’s acting, but with her personally. Sheree wonders where this Kim has been all year.

They talk about the commercial for Cynthia’s eye wear. More talk about Kenya and Kim, and Kenya apologizing to Kim. Porsha, who can’t stand that it’s not about her, talks about her own apology to Kenya for going crazy on her at the last reunion, and says it’s wasn’t accepted. Kenya says that’s because she never apologized. Cynthia tells Porsha she needs to cool down and we see Porsha’s attack on Cynthia. I heard we’re going to see some footage regarding Porsha’s attack on one of her assistants. A budding Naomi Campbell. If she was better looking and had a brain.

Kim is talking about something when Kenya interrupts, then Porsha interrupts Kenya, so I have no idea what anyone just said. Andy asks if Kenya is jealous of Kim. Kenya says Kim was a child star and she can’t compare that, but Kim is in her playing field now and is low man on the totem pole. She talks about Kim acting more high and mighty than she should. She says she’s not personally offended, but thinks Kim is arrogant.

Kandi says she enjoys seeing Kim “boss up,” since she’s usually quiet. Kim gets excited over the support. Kenya talks about Kim and her husband belittling her. Kim interrupts about Kenya interrupting. I’m lost. Kim says interruption is a form of bullying. Kenya says she’s the one who’s been bullied on the show.

Next week, part two, Apollo won’t let go, a revisit to Sheree’s wig pull, Peter joins the group, and Porsha accuses Kenta of dating a married one-eyed African. Is he rich?

I Am Cait

It’s snowing in New Mexico. The ladies meet for breakfast. Candis has a date. Candis says she’s not that excited, since her online dating experience so far as been dismal.

Cait’s new driver’s license arrives. The photo is great, but both Kim and Kourtney helped her get ready, so that’s cheatinh. Cait says it’s kind of like throwing old Bruce out the door. Cait says he was a good person who did a lot of good things, and in some ways didn’t deserve to disappear, but she had to move forward. It’s not that she wanted to throw him away; he just wasn’t her. It’s a huge moment and she gives a mini eulogy.

Cait is gong to NY to receive Glamour’s Woman of the Year award and says it’s for all of them.

Candis is about to meet her date. Cait says she sees what the other women go through and thinks the rejection is difficult. While the ladies have drinks at one of the bar’s tables, Candis waits at another table for her date. Who doesn’t show. Zackary and Cait join her. Candis goes back to the table with everyone. Geez.

The ladies go to a farm that has animal therapy to pet Silkie chickens. They’re pretty cute. The producer asks Candis if she can relate the chicken experience to her dating situation and she makes a cock joke. The therapist says that it’s hard to tell whether Silkies are male or female. The irony isn’t lost.

Next is a Salsa class. The dancing, not the dip. Cait says she’s not comfortable dancing with guys. She’s afraid that the tabloids will get pictures as well. Candis says Cait hasn’t embraced that part of her feminine side yet and says she’ll be her dancing partner. I can totally understand why Cait would be uncomfortable here.

It’s time for Cait to leave for NYC. The rest of the group is going on to Tulsa. Candis talks about a friend of hers who works a drag show in Chicago. She wants to do a number with her and Chandi. Chandi says she misses the old days when she used to perform.

They stop at a restaurant and aren’t allowed to eat there. The restaurant owner didn’t want them there when he found out what show was being filmed. Kind of sad. Next is a rock climbing gym. These girls have more energy than I could ever hope to have. I would have been totally bummed after the restaurant scene too. Chandi breaks a nail and she’s done. They’ve also joined up with two male trans models who they invite to dinner.

They reconvene at a place called Legends that has a mechanical bull. What vitamins do they take? Candis considers dating a trans guy.

Cait is getting her makeup done. She talks about how her greatest fear was once being thought of as a freak, and how everyone has been so accepting. She gets to the red carpet. Kylie is supposed to be her date, but she’s late, so Cait has to go on by herself.

Kylie meets Cait at the hotel later. She says her dressed totally ripped, but Cait says they could have worked around it. Cait says she’s disappointed, but at least Kylie made it for the actual award show, which I guess we don’t get to see.

The rest of the gang heads for Chicago. I’m exhausted just watching this episode. Cait meets them there. Candis tells Cait about the drag show. Debbie Downer Jenny says that some come from a showbiz universe and some don’t, but she looks at things from a different perspective. Instead of seeing life as a performance, she wants to see it in reality. (Can’t it be both?) Chandi talks about how those were the roots and the saving grace of many a trans person, and while she gets where Jenny is coming from, she’s surprised she doesn’t understand the other side of it as well.

Chandi talks to Candis about how Jenny feels about drag. Candis says that Jenny and Cait come from a different place, and they hid things differently. Chandi says drag helped save her from being a gay boy in a closet. She talks about her parents, who sound like good people. She starts to cry and Candis hugs her. She works with young people and takes a lot of their problems to heart, even though she comes off as happy-go-lucky most of the time.

Out to the bar at the hotel. Cait is wearing a really cool graphic sweater that has a tape measure across it. The girls are mingling. Candis says Cait doesn’t know how to flirt with men and wants to leave. Cait goes back to her room.

She and Candis get together for some girl talk before bed. Candis says she’s hoping Cait will be open to new dating situations. Cait says she sees the struggle of going out with someone and then them not wanting to be seen together and says she couldn’t handle it. Candis asks what her main fear is, and Cait says she hasn’t even been able to approach the subject with a man yet.

Cait says she thought about bringing up the possibility of her dating to Kylie, and she couldn’t even think about it. Cait says her dating a man might be confusing for the kids. Candis says she’s allowed to go out and have fun and experiment. Cait says maybe it will help thinking of it as an experiment. Candis says they both need to broaden their horizons.

Jenny and Zackary talk about the show. Jenny says she wants to celebrate everyone’s way of being, but also celebrate her own. Zackary says the trans community is split on the issue, but friends should support each other. She says embracing differences is Jenny’s challenge. Jenny says she understands that the drag world saved Chandi’s life.

It’s been a long time since Chandi performed and she’s nervous. Candis does a performance with another performer and they introduce Chandi — now Chandelier. Of course she’s fabulous.

Cait says everyone is taking risks on the trip, and even Jenny is shoving dollar bills in Chandi’s bra. Chandi says it was a reconnecting moment with yourself. She says no matter who you are you can enjoy drag.

Next week, a protest, public speaking and the democratic debate.

The Real Housewives of Potomac

Is it over yet? Where did these women come from anyway? I actually like the Australian guy the best.

Gizelle is meeting with a skin chemist. She’s starting a makeup an skincare line. The chemist says they need a focus group and Gizelle knows just the women.

It’s Katie’s twins’ birthday. She and Andrew have the same couch pillow I do. It’s in a Southwestern design with a buffalo on it. Katie tells Andrew she needs a vacation from her vacation. I’ll bet. She tells him about the sister circle and how it was a downer. She leaves out the part about Gizelle being an idiot. She’s also decided to put casino night on the back burner for a few months because she has other things that need her attention. And one of them isn’t going to be Gizelle’s focus group either.

Karen is planning an event in memory of her mother-in-law to fight against Altzheimers. She wants it to be a magical evening, as well as an informative one. Karen’s husband joins them and Karen asks for entertainment suggestions. Karen’s assistant gives him some options, but he wants to scale it down. He asks for time alone with Karen and they discuss it. He feels his mother’s death is still too raw for such a huge event.

Gizelle has rented a bar to do the focus groups. I’ve done focus groups and this is pretty swanky. Usually, you just sit around a table and discuss. Ashley approaches Gizelle about the incident at the beach. Gizelle says it wasn’t so much that her husband showed up, but that some of the girls (i.e. Karen) felt disrespected. Charrisse has decided she wants to let go of petty things.

Gizelle, who is light-skinned with green eyes, says when she was growing up, people pegged her as mean or stuck up because of the way she looked. She says she didn’t come into her own beautywise until she was in her 40s.

Karen says it’s similar to Bare Minerals, but she’s supportive. Katie is a no-show, which Karen finds rude.

Katie is busy with the Rost Foundation, or as she says, real work. I have news for her, at my age, makeup is real work.

After the focus group, there’s food and drink for the ladies. Ashley decides to approach Karen. Karen feels it was rude of Michael to just show up the way he did. She says immaturity wrecked the weekend. Gizelle suggests they agree to disagree and let the men settle any beef. Ashley wonders what the men might do. Duel?

Robyn and Juan are still in limbo over whether or not he got an out-of-state coaching job. Robyn tells him about the beach trip. She tells him about how she had to room with Gizelle, but it made her feel nostalgic. They talk about when they met. Juan remembers that they talked about The Young and the Restless. They’re putting together some kind of storage cabinet. Robyn says the reason she doesn’t want to get back together with him totally is because of his cheating in the past.

Karen and Ashley meet for golf with their husbands. Karen is hoping the men can iron (no pun intended) things out about the beach incident. Why anything needs to be ironed out is beyond me and I think Ashley feels the same way.

Karen tells Ray that she and Ashley have come to an impasse. Michael feels he did nothing wrong, but is open to hearing what the problem was. Ray says he doesn’t need Michael seeing his wife in skimpy outfits as girls are wont to wear at these things. The guys make jokes and they move to the next hole. Karen feels like she was finally heard, and Ashley is glad to be back in Karen’s good graces, but this all seems ridiculous to me. While I understand what Karen’s gripe is, to go on about it at this level is insane.

Charrisse is about to turn 50. She says water is a sign of new beginnings, so she’s going to learn to swim. She had a bad experience with snorkeling when she was younger, and didn’t get back in the water again. I can’t imagine not taking every opportunity possible to get in the water.

Karen is flower shopping for her event. She’s looking for cherry blossoms, but they’re only available in the spring. Karen won’t believe it, but you’d think that’s something she would know living in the DC area. They get some kind of roses instead.

Everyone is getting ready for Karen’s event. Katie is actually going to two different events and is going to change in the car. Karen has turned this into a launching party for a bigger gala later.

I hate to say this, but this looks like anybody else’s party. Katie is a little startled too, so at least I know it’s not me. Don’t get me wrong, she’s got an amazing house, but the decor is basically little tables with rose centerpieces scattered throughout the dining room. Gizelle says something to Katie about not showing up for the focus group, and Katie pretends to be sorry.

Karen tells the girls all about how Ray gave Michael “the business” at the golf course. Really? Ray gives the floor to Karen. Ashley and Michael are at the door and the bell repeatedly rings as she’s speaking. The jazz musicians hired for the event finally answer the door. Of course Karen is appalled by this behavior.

Ashley tells Gizelle there was no business to give and wonders what Karen has been telling people. At this point, she says Karen isn’t approaching her efforts or respecting her. Ashley tells the other girls that Karen doesn’t want her daughter around them. Karen comes by and says she never said that; she said she didn’t want her daughter hanging out with Ashley specifically.

Karen says she’s done with Ashley. She says the last straw for her was Ashley saying something about her daughter. Charrisse says she has to apologize to Karen. Ashley tells Michael that Karen is upset with her. Michael says apparently they’re not wanted there. Karen makes sure to let the others know that she only meant her daughter is not to be around Ashley, who is closer to her age. For some reason it’s this huge deal that Ashley spoke her daughter’s name and it seems to have turned Karen into Maleficent.

Next week, we continue to be tortured, Gizelle’s kids want her to get a boyfriend, Karen and Ray are empty nesters, Juan has to make a job decision, and Charrisse has a birthday.

Mar14

March 13, 2016 — Fairy Tales, Trans Tales & Wives Tales

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

Once Upon A Time

Hook is told by his cell mate, Meg, that he can’t escape. He says he’s not going to sit around and rot, and that someone is there to save him. Meg asks how he knows it isn’t a trick. He says when you love someone, you know. They both make a break for it. Meg gets out, but Hook is stopped by Cerebus, the three-headed dog. He tells Meg to find Emma.

Snow and David are wandering the graveyard. She says they were all her subjects and she was supposed to protect them. She wonders how they can protect their daughter, but David says she’s not alone this time.

Young Snow’s kingdom is being terrorized. She isn’t sure what to do, but Regina tells her that everything will be fine. Snow runs out of the palace and into the woods. She falls into a hole and a young man saves her. It’s Hercules.

Snow sees Herc’s grave and tells David that she and Hercules were friends when they were young. She says if he’s there, he has unfinished business and they have to help him move on. If they help him, he can help them.

Regina says there’s no sign of Hook in the North Woods. She sends Robin with Henry to get some maps from her office. Emma sees blood on a plant and she and Regina follow the trail. They find Meg who says she can take them to Hook. They hear the roar of Cerebus close behind.

Emma and Regina go to Snow and David’s underworld apartment. Meg tells them that Hook is in an underground cave. She tells them about Cerebus and how nothing can defeat him. Snow and David show up and Snow says she knows exactly how he can be defeated.

Young Herc tells Snow about his demi-godness. She wonders how she’s going to defeat the kingdom’s foes, and Herc says he’ll teach her. She doesn’t think she can do it, but Herc says he’ll show her how to stand up to her enemies. He shows her medals he’s won for various labors, kind of like Scout badges. His last labor is defeating Cerebus and he wants to spend as much time with her as possible before he has to leave.

Regina goes to the diner which is run by the witch from Hansel and Gretel. She tells them that Hercules comes in there on his lunch break. Apparently, he works on the docks, which is where Snow finds him.

Snow asks how Herc died, but he says it’s not important. He asks why she’s there and she says to help her daughter. Snow tells him there’s a way for him to leave the underworld. Herc says he never finished his final labor and Snow tells him Cerebus is there. She tells him what he once told her, that you can’t let fear of failure stop you from trying.

Hades pops in on Hook. He sees Hook has been bitten by Cerebus and tells him the dog’s master isn’t nearly as friendly.

Robin and Henry have difficulty getting into Regina’s office because Cora has it locked up. Henry goes through the ventilation system. Cruella is waiting for them and asks Henry how his mother has been since she killed Cruella.

Herc leads the others to where Hook is and tells them to wait.

Young Snow comes upon some of her subjects being shaken down. She threatens them with her bows and arrows, but ends up dropping the quiver and arrows go everywhere. Herc steps in, and the villains leave, but the head bandit says Herc can’t protect her forever.

Behind Snow’s back, Regina is meeting with the head bandit. She’s been working with them to defeat Snow, so that the people will realize she’s the only queen for them.

Herc meets Cerebus, drops his sword and runs. Where’s Kevin Sorbo when you need him? Kevin Sorbo wouldn’t have run. Snow is about to draw her bow, when Hades calls Cerebus off. Regina asks why hell looks like Storybrooke, but he won’t tell her. He does let her know that Cerebus killed Herc, who is also his nephew. He tells Snow the next time she interferes with his family, he’ll interfere with hers.

Emma says they have to find Hook. Hades shows her Hook’s bloody hook. She asks what Hades did to him, and Hades says she shouldn’t worry about what he’s done, but what he’s about to do. He disappears, poof! in a cloud of blue smoke.

Henry asks what Cruella wants. She says she wants his help. She wants to go back to the real world. She misses the music, the gin, the glamour and the gin. He says he destroyed the quill, and she says when he did that, he sent the quill to the underworld. She says if she comes back to life, his mother is no longer a murderer and can be restored to the pure soul she once was.

Snow is ready to throw in the towel. Regina says she was on the losing end of a battle with Snow and became her friend, which is pretty phenomenal. Regina says they don’t need Mary Margaret anymore. They need Snow White.

Young Snow is also feeling defeated. She tells Herc she doesn’t want to be Snow White anymore and she was crazy to think she could stand up to the bandits. Herc says no one wins every battle, especially their first one. He says his first labor nearly killed him, and he won by accident. He says if he’d never failed, he wouldn’t hae figured out how to succeed.

In Hades, Snow is trying to convince Herc to help them. She asks how Cerebus killed him and he says since Cerebus has three heads, he shouldn’t have fought him alone. Snow says he won’t be alone this time.

At the apartment, Cerebus comes crashing through the ceiling. Cool!

The bandits are at it again and Snow tells them to lay off and get lost. She draws the bow on them. At first the guy laughs, but her next arrow means business and it gets the subjects moving too. They pick up pitchforks and whatever else they can get their hands on, making me wonder why they didn’t do this before. The villains drop their weapons and leave. Herc says Snow doesn’t need him any more and she’s going to make an amazing queen. She says he’s not a bad demi-god himself. They kiss.

The Storybrooke gang splits up. Snow and Herc find Meg, but Cerebus is right behind them. They dash into the nearest building. Snow says they have to get all three heads at once and Herc gives Meg a dagger. Cerebus comes busting through the wall and they get each of the heads. Cerebus disappears, poof! in a cloud of black smoke.

Herc tells Meg he thinks they’ve met before. She says he’s the boy who tried to save her and Cerebus killed her after he killed Herc. He says he’s sorry and Meg says he made up for it just now. Snow says maybe Cerebus wasn’t Herc’s only unfinished business and that he was supposed to save Meg too. Snow says she doesn’t want to be Mary Margaret any more; she wants to be Snow White again.

Henry tells Robin he couldn’t find anything in the office.

Meg gives Emma a map to find Hook and says to thank him for her. Herc tells Snow he was right and that she became an amazing hero. He and Meg join hands and head for Olympus, as their unfinished business is now finished.

Hades is pretty pissed that Hook helped Meg escape. He gives Hook some kind of stick. He says Hook’s friends have caused too much damage. He says for every soul they free, one of them will have to stay and Hook has to decide who.

Next week, Gold and Hades do battle, and Hook has to make a decision.

The Walking Dead

Maggie and Carol are captured. A redhead, who we learn later is Paula, sees Rick and the gang through binoculars and tells them over the loudspeaker to lower their weapons. Rick says come out and let’s talk. She says they won’t come out but they’ll talk and tells Rick they have Carol and Maggie.

Rick says they have one of theirs and let’s trade. Rick says they can have their guy, Primo, back if they give up Carol and Maggie. The group argues among themselves. Paula says she’ll get back to him.

Maggie and Carol get coats throw over their heads and are shoved into a car. Paula is trying to contact other Saviors to meet them at some contact point. Maggie and Carol are taken to a “safe house,” where they’re bound and gagged. Paula tells them don’t even think about a way out. She says she’s itching to kill them, so just try and see what happens.

As soon as she’s gone, Maggie tries cutting her bonds on a concrete post. Carol seriously starts to freak out and hyper-ventilate. Paula comes back with an older lady and a wounded guy. They finally take the gags off of Carol and Maggie. Older Lady tells Carol to take some yoga breaths. Carol holds a rosary and Older Lady says, oh, you’re one of those. One of whats?

Paula asks Carol if she’s afraid to die. Carol says it doesn’t matter what happens to her, but don’t hurt Maggie and the baby. Paula tells Maggie it’s pretty stupid to get knocked up at a time like this. Paula says the point is to stay standing. Maggie says walkers do that and she’s doing something brave. Older Lady is having a cigarette, and Maggie says something about the baby. Older Lady says she has a lot worse problems than second hand smoke. Carol tells her cigarettes will kill her. Older Lady coughs up blood and says they already have.

Wounded Guy isn’t doing well. Paula says in 30 minutes the crew will be there. Maggie says he doesn’t have 30 minutes. He needs to lose the arm. She suggests they talk to Rick. Paula tells Wounded Guy 30 minutes. He gets all bent out of shape and wants to kill Carol and Maggie, or at least shoot Carol in the arm. Paula tells him to shut up. He goes after Carol and Maggie knocks him down and then head butts him. He gets up and starts kicking Carol, but Paula stops him. She tells one of the others to take Maggie out and see if she knows anything.

Some girl interrogates Maggie. She wants to know where Rick and the gang are holed up, and says Maggie’s people are not the good guys. Maggie throws up.

Carol thanks Paula for helping them. Carol says her husband used to beat her. Paula says she doesn’t care and she knows exactly who Carol is, pathetic. (Wouldn’t that be what Carol is?) She asks Carol if she really believes in that crap, referring to the rosary. Carol says faith got her through the death of her daughter.

Maggie asks Interrogator Girl what’s up with her missing finger. She says she got caught stealing. Maggie asks about her tattoo that says “Frankie.” She says it was her father’s name and it’s what she was going to name her baby. Maggie says she’s sorry and Interrogator Girl says probably not really. Maggie says she’s not planning on dying today and Interrogator Girl says neither is she, but one of them is wrong.

Paula radios Rick. He says they can make a trade, but she says they haven’t agreed. She says they’ll be taking most of the risk without much reward. Carol tells Paula they don’t have to fight. Paula says Carol’s people killed her people. Carol says the Saviors ambushed them and took everything they had. Paula says they shouldn’t have come to the camp to kill everyone. Carol says their leader is a nut. Older Lady says they’re all Negan. Carol asks what that means. I’d like to know too. Did they eat him?

Older Lady is chain-smoking and Carol asks her for one. Older Lady obliges. Paula tells Carol she’s weak and asks her what she’s afraid of. She says Carol can’t even stick to her own principles. Paula says before the apocalypse, she was a secretary. She tells some story about a carrot, egg, and coffee beans all being boiled. The carrot ends up soft, the egg gets hard, and the coffee beans changed the water. She worked in Washington when the military took over. The important people were evacuated first and she was stuck with her boss instead of her family. She says her boss was weak and stupid, and he was the first person she killed.

She says she’s still alive. Carol says her people are killers. She says Paula is the one who’s afraid to die, and she will. She asks whats’ going to happen if they don’t work things out. Paula asks if Carol is going to kill her and Carol says she hopes not.

Commercial break. Fear 462. A zombie gets a knitting needle to the head.

Paula radios Rick and says they’ll make a trade. She gives him a meeting spot. Paula thinks they’re waiting to kill them the second they come out the door. Carol says Rick is a man of his word and he wouldn’t put her and Maggie at risk. Paula radios her other people and says they have to be ready to move. They don’t take Carol or Maggie, so I guess they’re going to ambush Rick.

Carol gets free of her bonds using the rosary. She finds Maggie and gets her loose. They hug and I yell at them not to waste time. Maggie says they have to finish things. Maggie finds Wounded Guy, but it’s too late, he’s dead.

Older Lady is wandering around the halls and Wounded Now Dead Guy is now Undead Guy and attacks her. Maggie finishes her off from behind and beats the ever-living crap out of her. Paula comes back to everyone gone.

Maggie and Carol have to get past a bunch of zombies to get out. Paula comes up behind them and Carol draws her gun. Paula says go ahead since Rick and company have taken everything anyway. Maggie runs into Interrogator Girl in the hallway. They fight and Carol shoots her. Paula, who’s gotten shot in the leg, says she gets Carol’s deal now, but what was she so afraid of? Carol says she told her to run. She says she was afraid of this, meaning shooting Paula, but her hesitation costs her. Paula knocks the gun out of her hand and they tussle. Paula ends up getting impaled on a pipe and eaten by a zombie. She should have run when Carol told her to. Carol tells Rick to meet them.

The people Paula had radioed come back. Carol lights up some gasoline on the floor and they’re burned alive. Geez. Carol and Maggie walk past all the damage. Paula is now a zombie and Maggie kills her.

They open the door to Rick and the rest of their people. Rick tells Primo he might as well talk. Rick asks him how he got the bike. Primo says they found it. He says he’s Negan and Rick shoots him in the head. Geez. Is that it after such a big build-up or did the Primo/Negan guy lie? Carol clutches the rosary so hard, her hand starts to bleed.

Next week, Daryl plays with a toy soldier, Eugene meets a zombie and there’s lots more fighting.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Worst. Taglines. Ever. Except for Kandi. I’m thinking maybe they’ve run out of taglines, since none of the other cities are that great either this season.

Phaedra is planning a holiday party. She’s bouncing ideas off of Porsha and thinks she might do some clog dancing to entertain the guests. I’m speechless.

Kandi and Todd visit his mother’s grave. He says she was the life of the party and it’s sad that she won’t be there for the birth of her grandson. We flash back to some happy scenes with her. Kandi’s baby kicks like he’s saying hi to his grandma.

A story has hit the tabloids that the Feds were at their house looking for Apollo’s motorcycle. He apparently owes the government quite a bit. I’m sure Phaedra distanced herself and her money from that.

Porsha and Phaedra talk about the motorcycle. Porsha says she heard Cynthia and Peter have some of Apollo’s stuff too. Phaedra says she wouldn’t be surprised, since Apollo spent more time at the bar with Peter than he did with his kids.

Matt brings Kenya two Yorkie puppies. We flash back to Kenya’s dog, Velvet, who passed away last season. She names them Twirl and King. Kenya tells Matt she’s been invited to Phaedra’s holiday party. She says she grew up as a Jehovah’s Witness, so her family didn’t celebrate holidays. She says she doesn’t know if there’s going to be drama because it’s going around that Phaedra is the one who called the Feds abut the bike. Matt says at least Kenya isn’t involved. Kenya has to run interference between her shoes and the puppies.

Cynthia and her sister, Malorie, are moving furniture. Cynthia is setting up a massage table. Malorie leaves and Cynthia gets some ambiance going. When Peter comes home, she tells him she’s going to be his masseuse and that she’s booked a massage with a very happy ending for him. Too bad I can’t unhear that. Or unsee the rest of this scene.

Ha-ha! Cynthia’s daughter is supposed to be out with her dad, but she isn’t. Awkward.

Commercial break. I suddenly forgot which show I was watching.

Porsha, accompanied by sister Lauren, is at a fertility specialist. She’s not ready to have a baby right now (please don’t breed), but wants to make sure that when she is, everything is fine. She doesn’t even remember that she’s divorced or when her last period was. She says if she can’t carry a baby, Lauren can do it for her. Why not? She does everything else.

The doctor comes in. The doctor tells her that her fibroids are back. They’re small though, so the doctor says a pregnancy should be fine. Porsha asks about her biological clock, and the doctor says she had her own children at ages 38 and 42.

Dwight is setting things up at a spa for Phaedra’s party. Phaedra is also celebrating her divorce. It looks bright and festive, and I’m jealous of Dwight’s boutonniere brooch.

Ho-ho-ho! It’s party time. In reality crossover fashion, Miss Juicy from Little Women: Atlanta is one of the elves. Ayden is also dressed as an elf and will be giving out coal as needed. Sheree has brought Bob, who desperately wants to get back together. She says she’s open to it, but she’s not going to make it easy.

Porsha shows up with Shamea and they’re both barely dressed. Phaedra’s friend, Tammy, is there. Bob has told Sheree that he slept with Tammy, who claims they didn’t, so there’s some awkward tension when Tammy confronts Bob about it. Bob suddenly changes his tune and says they didn’t sleep together and he never said that they did.

Kenya shows up dressed like the Grinch, complete with green body paint. Bob tells Sheree not to hold him to who he used to be. They kiss sans mistletoe.

Peter asks Todd if Phaedra ever paid him back. Not quite, but he’s done with the whole thing. Nene sits next to Kandi, and we flash back to their personality clashes. Nene claims to be in a better place now. She says Kandi is usually making faces at her. Now that she mentions it, Kandi does make a lot of faces. Nene says they should press the restart button ion their friendship and Kandi agrees.

Kim thanks Phaedra for helping her through her first months on the show. She says if Phaedra ever needs her help with the boys, just ask. Nene brings up the Feds and Kandi says she’s keeping Phaedra at a distance until she can figure out where they’re at. The Feds went to Cynthia’s house as well, and Kenya suggests maybe Phaedra made the call. Cynthia says whenever anybody tried to help Apollo, they ended up in trouble. I’ve already forgotten what he looks like.

Phaedra joins the conversation and acts like she doesn’t know what’s up with the Feds thing, calling it crazy. The floor is cleared. Kim’s husband does a dance routine.

This was the finale, but the only interesting endings are that Kim will be Dancing with the Stars and Porsha will be on Celebrity Apprentice.

Next week, The Reunion, part one — Matt and Chris tangle and just about everyone else does too.

I Am Cait

All is quiet on the bus. Welcome to New Mexico. Cait says she put everyone to sleep with her political talk.

The bathroom ventilation isn’t working properly and everyone is complaining loudly. One of the ladies says it smells like a “cow barn.” The subject of the word “tranny” comes up and an informal poll is taken as to whether it’s offensive. Jenny does find it offensive, which is no surprise since she’s so easily offended. She compares it to the word “faggot.” She says someone once beat her and used that word while they were doing it. She says words can hurt as much as violence can, which is very true. Kate says it’s a word that was stolen from them, but when she uses it, it’s with love and compassion. Jenny says they look at things differently, but it’s asking a lot for her to look at it that way. Kate says Jenny can ask a lot of her as well. Kate says she identifies as a non-binary trans person. Jenny asks if they’re going to be having this conversation during the whole trip. Kate says she will be coming back to the subject.

Cait’s mother has won a support award from the LGBT community. A discussion about Donald Trump follows. While Cait isn’t a fan, she says he’d be good for a lot of issues, including women’s issues. When confronted with a Donald or Hilary question from Kate, Cait says she’d never vote for Hilary because she’s not going to address the economic issues. Candis is a huge Hilary supporter, but Cait brings up the overabundance of Hilary’s lies. Candis says Cait doesn’t discuss politics, she bombards you. Cait says just because she’s transitioned, doesn’t mean she suddenly became a liberal.

Candis tells Jenny she got in a screaming match with Cait about Hilary and removed herself from the conversation. Candis feels Cait was disrespectful and loud. Continuing the conversation with a few of the other ladies, Cait asks for one good thing Hilary has done. Zackery asks where the anger is coming from and doesn’t want to engage if Cait is going to yell. Zackery gives an example of a trans issue, but Cait says that’s good for them, but not America as a whole. Zackery feels that she keeps getting interrupted and doesn’t want to discuss it any further. Jenny says the bus has never felt this small. Zackery says Cait is “coming for” her, but I don’t see it that way. Frankly, I think that’s just part of Cait’s personality and they seem to be the ones bringing up politics. If you know this is the result, and you’re going to be offended, why start it?

The girls arrive in Santa Fe. Wendy, who is some kind of cruise director, says they’ll be seeing their rooms first and then going to dinner. Jenny says it’s like her worst nightmare, she’s having a conversation with Kate she doesn’t want to have and Cait is talking politics. They sit down to dinner and Jenny suggests joining hands before the meal.

To change the subject, Cait talks about getting a Woman of the Year award from Glamour magazine. She asks everyone what being a woman means to them. Jenny says one isn’t born a woman, but becomes one, and they all define womanhood on their own terms. Cait says she doesn’t know if she’ll ever figure it out. Zackery says sometimes your mind is ahead of your body or vice versa, and Cait hasn’t caught up to herself yet.

Kate says she didn’t come out until after her father died. She said if she had told him, he would have sat Shiva for his son. She recalls the conversation between her and each of her parents, ending with her mother eventually calling her Kate. Jenny says it’s impossible to hate anyone whose story you know and realizes that she needs to get back on track with Cait.

Commercial break. Family Therapy with Dr. Jenn (VH1) looks promising. Lindsay Lohan’s parents are cast members. Need I say more?

The girl are going horseback riding. Cait thinks it’s time to get off the bus for a while. One of the girls thinks it would be fun to play “Fluffy Bunny.” This involves putting marshmallows in your mouth and saying “fluffy bunny.” They don’t have marshmallows, so they use mini powdered donuts.

Chandi has never gone horseback riding and her first lesson is, don’t step in horse poop. The horse starts to go backward and I’m sure is sensing Chandi’s fear. Finally, she gets the horse going in the right direction. Jenny feels like Cait has been a bully and it needs to be addressed.

Back on the bus, there’s TMI about vibrators.

Back at the hotel, the girls toast to themselves. Kate talks about how she and Jenny talked, and though their approaches are at logger-heads, but their goals are the same and they really listened to one another. Kate confesses that she wanted to get a rise out of Cait by posing the Donald or Hilary question. She says she left the conversation because of Cait’s anger. Jenny says Kate isn’t the only one who was uncomfortable. Cait says she realizes she looks at the issues differently. Jenny says it isn’t about the issues and that Cait scared some of the women. Really? It must not take much.

Candis says she feels that Cait doesn’t listen sometimes. Cait agrees and says she can get excited when trying to prove a point. Jenny asks that Cait deal with them in gentleness and love. Cait admits to being aggressive when it comes to politics and it’s the feminine side she has to work on. Zackery says there’s been too much in-fighting in their own community and they have to set an example. Cait apologizes to Candis

The ladies are meeting with the mayor. They recently passed an ordinance regarding gender neutrality with single seat public bathrooms. I’m all for that. If I have to go, I don’t want to wait if a bathroom is empty just because it says men on it. Although Cait was supposed to change the signage, because Kate has had such grief over bathroom issues, she asks Kate to do it instead. Kate says she feels included and respected.

Next week, Candis has a date, Candis gets stood up (maybe) and Cait changes her driver’s license

The Real Housewives of Potomac

Isn’t this show over yet? Nope. Not yet. And what does Gizelle mean by she’s the word on the street? More idiotic taglines. It makes it sound like she’s a hooker.

Charrisse is doing a “sister circle,” a bonding experience for the ladies. Robyn shares about a best friend she and her ex-husband had who stole their money. She says they fell into a ponzi scheme and lost almost everything. She says she doesn’t know who she can trust anymore. Ashley feels guilty for discussing Robyn’s bankruptcy with Katie, which she should. She has no business bringing that up to anyone.

Gizelle asks Katie about her charity event. Katie says she has new host committee members. Ashley thinks there’s something deeper going on, but Katie says she doesn’t feel like going deep tonight. So Charrisse does it for her, bringing up the make-out session between Andrew and Katie at the party. Katie says she had a little too much to drink and already apologized. Gizelle asks if she was “on something.” Is Gizelle my grandmother?

Katie goes to lie down, telling Ashley she’s just tired. Yeah, tired of these shade throwing witches.

In the morning, Karen visits Ashley’s room to rehash the sister circle. She wasn’t thrilled with Gizelle sharing about her bathroom habits. You and me both, sista. Gizelle talks to Robyn about what she shared. Robyn says that the friend ripping them off was worse than their divorce. Karen tells Ashley she thought what Gizelle brought up about Katie was inappropriate.

Katie is talking to Charrisse and that hanger on whose name I keep missing. Charrisse says that it seemed like Gizelle attacked Katie. Gizelle, who has batlike radar, joins them. Charrisse tells her that Katie felt attacked and that isn’t what the sister circle is about. Katie tells her she didn’t bring up Gizelle’s sex life or something else inappropriate, and she thought Gizelle got too personal.

Hanger on, whose name is Brynel, visits Katie in her room. Katie says she’s spent and she thinks anything that Gizelle brings up is bs. Brynel tells Katie she needs to call Gizelle out and tell her she doesn’t do phony. Karen joins them. Karen says Katie has to stop Gizelle in her tracks or she’ll end up being Gizelle’s whipping boy.

The girls take a field trip to an old time photo place that has Old West costumes. They get a group photo taken. Katie tells Gizelle she was disrespectful. She says she’s not a little girl and she won’t be treated as one. Katie says Gizelle disparaged her character and she won’t have it. She says if Gizelle has any problem with her, she should come to her directly. Gizelle is probably steaming, but she apologizes. In her individual interview, Katie says she’s surprised Gizelle apologized, but then again, she’s a big phony.

Ashley is taking the girls to a drag show that she and Michael always enjoy when they vacation there. First, they have dinner outside at a restaurant with an awesome view. Karen asks Katie how she’s getting Andrew down the aisle. She says she thinks he’s ready, but he wants to surprise her. Karen thinks Andrew should put a ring on it already. They talk about prenups and finances. In her individual interview, Gizelle throws shade at Katie and white people in general.

Robyn asks how Katie would do it differently in this relationship, since she’s been married before. She says she rushed into the first marriage because she’d just turned 30 and felt pressured.

Big phony Gizelle, compliments Ashley on her hostessing skills, even though she was the one Googling hotels in the beginning. Everyone flatters Ashley and she says she feels like the casting results for the school play were just posted and she got the lead. Ashley says all in all, she thinks she did a good job and she wants to go out with a bang.

No gay bar is complete without a disco ball, and there it is. The girls get to dancing and even Karen pats a butt or two. This looks like a fun place. The drag show starts and Michael shows up. Karen gets pissed immediately because it’s supposed to be a girls weekend. She tells Ashley they’re not comfortable with a man sleeping at the house with them. The ladies are leaving and Ashley says that she’s staying a while and she’ll see them later.

Karen says Ashley should respect her feelings. She says Ray wouldn’t appreciate it and he wouldn’t be comfortable with another man in the house. Ashley says she didn’t plan this and Michael surprised her. They suggest Michael stay in a hotel. Katie and Charrisse are the only ones not getting stupid. I’m sure this poor guy thought he was doing a good thing and no good deed goes unpunished.

Robyn understands both sides, but thinks Ashley should have told Michael she’s with the girls this weekend. Charrisse thinks everyone is being ridiculous. When they get back, they have a mini discussion about Michael’s disrespect. Ashley and Michael come back. Ashley says they’re still her guests, but it’s Michael’s home too, and he’s not going to get in their space. Michael says he doesn’t even understand the drama.

Charrisse says the overall concern is how Ashley handled it. Karen says Ashley telling her she didn’t care if Karen was uncomfortable isn’t right. She says she’s done and goes to bed. Michael tries to make jokes, but Gizelle acts like he might attack them in their sleep or something. Robyn thinks Gizelle and Karen should let it go and move on.

Robyn and Charrisse stay up half the night playing beer pong with Brynel, Ashley and Michael. Karen says all her efforts were in vain and the way Ashley has handled things is very disappointing. Off with her head!

Next time, Andrew brings home balloons and I notice we have the same exact throw pillow with a buffalo on it, Ray calls out Michael, and Karen is done with Ashley.

Mar7

March 6, 2016 — The Underworld, the Undead, Cait & Two Wives

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

OMG — this has been one busy night for TV! Both Once Upon A Time and I Am Cait are back, The Walking Dead soldiers on intensely, and The Real Housewives of Atlanta and Potomac will never end.

Once Upon A Time

Emma opens her eyes and finds Neil in her car He says to think of it as a long distance call from a friend. They talk about their son. Emma tells him she’s on her way to the Underworld. Neil tells her it’s a bad idea and it won’t end the way she thinks it will. She asks Neil for help. but he says the Underworld is for people with unfinished business and that’s not him. He tells her to stop what she’s doing, but of course she’s not going to. He wishes her well and disappears.

Emma finds herself back on the boat going to the Underworld.

The passengers debark the boat. The Underworld looks like Storybrooke — if it had been hit by a tornado. Regina says they’re not in Maine anymore. I hadn’t known they were in Maine to begin with. Emma sees someone she knows. Gold/Rumpelstiltskin tells them people are trapped here because of unfinished business and likely some of them are there because of them. Regina says the sooner they get out, the better.

Evil Queen Regina is berating her subjects. It’s her birthday and she wants Snow White’s heart on a plate. A dude tells her he knows where Snow White is, but he wants something in return. She says she’ll return the favor by killing him quickly. Snow comes up behind her with a bow and arrow and tells her to knock it off. Regina says they’re lucky she’s in a good mood and disappears, poof! in a cloud of purple smoke.

Regina’s father tells her not to let her merciless mother, Cora, win and control her. Regina says she banished her mother to Wonderland, but he says as long as she’s on this quest, she’s being controlled.

Apparently Cora is in hell too, because the message is sent to her that Regina is there.

Snow/Mary goes in the Underworld diner. The waitress is excited to see her. Snow says she’s looking for someone and describes Hook. David enters the diner and kisses her. What up wit dat? It turns out he’s David’s brother. He says to let David know there’s a new sheriff in town. He leaves ad the others enter. Henry brings her a room key. I have no idea what just went on there.

Regina sees a guy whose been following them. She calls him out and he says someone wants to see them.

Evil Queen Regina just wants her birthday to be over. I love the costumes on this show and she always gets the best ones. Her father, Henry, asks the Magic Mirror to summon…her. The mirror says he doesn’t have a death wish, but the father insists. Henry sees Cora in the mirror. He tells her to tell Regina to let go over the feud. She says no way, and that they should help her. Cora appears in a full length mirror and Henry says he doesn’t need her help and leaves. She says Regina does and comes out of the mirror.

In the Underworld, Regina meets Cora. They hug. Cora says she has unfinished business, meaning Regina. She says she wants Regina to be happy. Regina asks for help finding Hook. Cora says Regina’s friends and family are holding her back, and she has to do what’s best for her. She’s arranged for a boat in an hour and wants Regina to leave with Henry.

Cora reminds Regina of her last words, that Regina would have been enough. She says sometimes a mother has to do whatever for her daughter even if it’s reprehensible. Regina asks if she’s threatening her. She says no, she has to show her something.

They’re at a cliff and the messenger dude is on the precipice of a cliff with flames leaping below. Cora throws him off into the flames. Cora tells Regina that the Underworld can be left in two ways, to better place of worse one. Cora gives her another option, go home or there will be a cost and someone will suffer — her father.

Gold goes to his Underworld shop. He thinks about how he told Belle he had to go to the Underwold because he’s the only one who’s been there before. She tells him to come back to her and he says he always does. He goes to a safe in the shop and Peter Pan comes in asking if he’s looking for something. Gold says just because Peter sired him, doesn’t make him his father. He says Gold won’t find anything Peter doesn’t want him to find, and gives him a potion. Peter wants to make nice because he wants to go back, but Gold tells him it’s not going to happen. Peter suggests swapping himself for one of the others going back. He gives Gold the potion as a gesture of good will.

Regina tells the others she can’t let her father suffer because of her. She says after she killed him, she thought he went to a better place, but no. They argue, but Gold interrupts with the potion. He says it will allow them to talk to the dead and if they pour it over Hook’s grave, he can tell them where he is. He says he’s leaving on the next boat and they’ll have to handle this themselves. Bye, Felicia!

Snow meets Regina’s father in the woods. He says if the feud continues Regina will lose her soul and the kingdom will be destroyed. Snow hears another voice, and turns. Henry rips her heart out from behind because he’s really Cora. The real Henry, who had called her name, is like, wth? and Cora says, come on, Regina needs her birthday present.

The group goes to the graveyard and uses the potion. Hook appears, but the vision of him is all shaky and he disappears again.

Emma says Hook is in pain and suffering, and they still don’t know where he is. She tells the others to take the boat home, but David says they’re staying to back her up. She tells Regina to them and herself out of there.

The Evil Queen continues to celebrate her birthday by killing a jester. I’ll bet they don’t last long in this kingdom. Cora arrives at her birthday party. Regina asks how she got out of Wonderland and where’s her father. Cora says she lost track of him and gives her Snow’s beating heart. Regina is able to see Snow in the Magic Mirror and crushes her heart. Snow starts to clutch at her chest and panic. Regina is delighted until Jiminy Cricket pops out of Snow’s bodice and Regina realizes it’s not the right heart. Cora says someone must have switched them.

It was Henry. Henry says if Regina crushes Snow’s heart, she’ll be dark forever just like her mother and just what her mother wants. Regina says Henry betrayed her. He says as long as Snow lives, she has a chance, so whatever she does to him is worth it. She makes him disappear, poof! in a puff of blue smoke, and puts him in the box that held the heart. It reminds me of I Dream of Jeanie.

At the Underworld graveyard, Regina visits her father’s grave. He appears and she apologizes. He forgives her and tells her it’s okay. He says he loves her no matter what because that’s what fathers do. She says she doesn’t understand how he can be so good. He says her mother is using him to get her to leave, but he wants her to stay. He’s happy that she finally put vengeance aside. Regina says Cora is going to send him somewhere worse, and she can’t let that happen. He says if she stays, she’ll spread hope and to let him see her doing the right thing. He disappears, poof! in cloud of grey and orange smoke.

Cora asks Regina where her father ran off to and she shows Cora the box. Cora says she’s impressed. Regina says Henry might have been wrong about the revenge, but right about Cora. She says she wants it to be her victory. The Magic Mirror pulls Cora in. Cora says without her, Regina will fail and be alone. Regina says being alone is fine with her and Cora grabs the box, taking it into the mirror with her.

Henry stands on the edge of the cliff. Regina tells Cora to stop. Regina says she’s going to help her friends and her father. Cora says to do what she says and not force her hand. Regina says she doesn’t have to do it and Cora makes the flames swallow Henry. Whoa, wait, the flames disappear, and an extension goes out from the cliff. A heavenly light shows from above and Henry says it’s where he belongs. His unfinished business was with Regina. He let Cora get in the way of their relationship, but now Regina is free of her. Regina introduces Henry to his grandson and namesake. He tells young Henry to take good care of Regina and tells Regina not to forget who she really is.

He leaves and goes into the light. That was all pretty touching. If I wasn’t typing, I might have shed a tear or two.

Regina and Henry join the others. Gold (hasn’t he left yet?) says that the people here are not the dearly departed, just wretched souls not worth helping. He says he’s not sticking around, because no one heard him the first time. Henry dubs their quest Operation Firebird. The clock in the fallen clock tower ticks and Regina smiles.

Cora isn’t gone. She goes inside a building and into an elevator. Ha-ha! Where does an elevator in the Underworld go? The Under Underworld? Cora goes into a cavern to a weird library where some dude is having a pedicure. Dude wants Regina gone. Each clock tick means a soul has left his domain. I guess he’s the devil? He says Regina is going to regret her decision. Cora says don’t threaten either one of them and she wants what he promised her.

He puts Cora in rags and says she’s a miller’s daughter again and to go tote bags of grain. Cora says he promised to save them and he says she promised not to fail and that’s something to think about for eternity. She takes a wheelbarrow full of sacks and goes. Dude’s hair turns into blue flames.

Next week, Hercules joins the cast and they fight Cerberus, the three-headed dog. I can’t wait!

The Walking Dead

Carol (where’s she been?) is in the pantry picking out ingredients. Carol is in the woods, offing a zombie. Carol is getting dressed in her mom sweater. Carol is taking roasted chestnuts out of the oven and baking cookies. Carol is passing out cookies to the neighbors. Is this a day in the life of Carol?

Carol brings Tobin some cookies. He says they’re pink, and she says beets make them sweet. He says they’re the best beet and acorn cookies he’s ever tasted. I don’t totally trust Carol and wonder if she’s flirting with him or going to poison him.

Rick is back and wants everyone to meet at the church. He tells Carol they’re going to have to fight. He drives off and Carol ponders her remaining cookie container.

Morgan sees Carol and says it’s been a while since they talked. He wonders why she didn’t tell Rick. He says she didn’t want to tell anyone because it’s kind of like she did it too. She says it’s not that way and I have no clue what they’re talking about.

Rick says Maggie hammered out a deal with Hilltop for food and supplies. He says they’re not giving it away though. He tells them about the Saviors and that the Saviors would have found them eventually. He says If they were low on food, it would be the end of them. He says if they fight the Saviors for Hilltop, they can keep Alexandria. He asks if anyone has anything to say. Morgan asks if he’s sure they can beat the Saviors.

Morgan wants to give the Saviors a choice of compromise. Rick says if they talk to them first, they’re sunk. Morgan says life means possibilities. Rick thinks it would be a mistake, and asks who else feels that way. That would be nobody, so Rick says they’ll kill them all. He says not everybody has to be involved, but if they stay behind, they have to accept it.

Carol can’t sleep. She writes some weird stuff in a journal. The number 18 is significant. Carol looks like she has a headache.

Maggie tells Glenn about the deal. She says she has to go with them.

Carol is out having a smoke. She sees Tobin on the steps of his house. They sit together. Tobin says he’s worried about her going to fight the Saviors. He says she can do things that terrify him. She asks how. He says she’s a mom. It’s not the cookies and smiles, but it’s the hard scary stuff that takes strength that makes her a mom to people there. Amen, dude. She’s definitely like a scary mom. She asks if she’s a mom to him, but he says no, she’s something else and kisses her. Lots of nookie this season.

Abe is packing. He tells Rosita he’s leaving after the raid. She asks why and he says it’s just the way shit is. She says he’s not leaving unless he can tell her why. He says she’s not the last woman on earth and she starts to cry. He leaves. Eugene comes by and offers her a cookie, but she slams the door in his face. Poor Eugene. He’s just trying to help.

Andy says he’s been inside the Savior camp. He’s makes a map and explains where things are.

Tara tells Denise she loves her. She’s going with the others and asks if Denise wants to come. Denise says she’s needed in Alexandria, even though she wants to go. She says she’ll tell Tara when she comes back. They kiss and hug.

Andy goes over the layout. Rick and company plan the raid. Rick says they’re going to let them walk in. He says they want Gregory’s head and they’re going to give it to them.

A caravan, headed by the Winnebago, heads toward the Savior camp. They get out. It’s on foot from there. Rick asks Father Gabriel why he still wears his minister duds. Gabriel says that’s who he still is, he thinks, and they also can’t see him in the dark.

Rosita bitches to Carol about Morgan, but says she won’t tell anyone. Dammit, what?

Cool zombies in the woods, like with half-arms and stuff. Glenn and Heath kill them. Heath says he’s been lucky, he hasn’t had to kill any of the living before. Glenn says he’s been lucky too. Glenn asks if Heath has ever seen something he can’t unsee. Heath says yeah. I think all of us have, Glenn. Glenn says him too, but killing someone has to be worse than that and he’s nervous.

Rick tells the group they’re going to scout the place and if everything looks good, they’re going in a few hours before dawn when the guards are tired and everyone is sleeping. If it doesn’t look good, they go back and make a new plan. They roll out at midnight.

Carol asks why Maggie is there. Rick says it’s her choice. Carol says she shouldn’t be there and Rick says okay.

Apparently Jesus had a job with a special effects department. He’s worked with the heads of the zombies that were killed to make them look like Gregory. He gives Rick three to chose from.Andy says the Saviors are scary, but and Negan has nothing on Rick.

Commercial break. Fear 462 gets their first real zombie. Doesn’t everyone know to shoot one in the head though? Oooh! I can’t wait for The Purge: Election Year. I thought the first Purge movie was a little ridiculous, but I loved The Purge: Anarchy.

Andy drives to the Hilltop gate and says it’s done. Someone calls from inside to bring it in. Two guards come out and he pulls a fake Gregory head out of a bag. His hand is bandaged and he says he broke his hand on Gregory’s nose to cover why the head doesn’t look perfect. After the head is thoroughly examined, it passes inspection. The guard says he can take his guy home and he can bring them more stuff next week.

When the guard goes inside, Daryl slashes the other one’s throat. The others hide the body. The guard comes out with the other Hilltopper and he gets killed. The guard, I mean. Rick and company go inside. Rick tells them to find the arsenal and they spread out a little.

Rick sees a sleeping guy and kills him. Glenn and Heath go into a room where a couple of other guys are sleeping. Glenn kills one and freaks a little. Heath hesitates with the second and Glenn takes over. I have the feeling Heath shouldn’t have come on this trip. Glenn sees a bulletin board with Polaroids of dead zombies, which is an oxymoron.

Tara asks if Gabriel is still a priest. He says he is. She says she lied to her girlfriend this morning. Denise caught her covering something up, so Sara said “I love you.” She says she told Denise that she’d done something like this before. I’m not sure if she’s talking about the raid or a same sex relationship. Gabriel asks if she loves Denise and she says yes. He says she knows what she’s fighting for then.

Sasha and Abe try to kill a guy, but he sounds an alarm.

Maggie starts to run toward the camp and Carol stops her saying she should be somewhere else. Maggie says they need their help. Carol says Maggie is staying there. Yeah, better listen to Carol She can be tough in the discipline department.

Sasha tells Jesus to get his people back to Hilltop. He says Rick needs his help, so no.

Inside, chaos is ensuing. Lots of shooting and stabbing and running. I know we’re bound to lose someone. Heath? He and Glenn throw themselves into a room. A room that happens to be the arsenal. They shoot through the door at the people who were chasing them, then cautiously open it. All dead. Except one and Jesus shoots him from behind before he can shoot.

Gabriel sees one of the guys in the woods. He tells him to drop his gun. The guy says Gabriel is just as dead as he is, along with some other cheerful tidings. Gabriel gives him some Bible verses and shoots him, saying “amen.”

Rick and the gang move outside. Heath leaves in the Winnebago.

Back in Alexandria, Morgan is doing some welding.

The rest of the group is getting ready to wrap things up. Michonne wonders which one was Negan. Suddenly, a guy comes hurtling out on a motorcycle. Oops, missed a spot. Daryl knocks him off the bike. They hear a loudspeaker with a female voice telling them to lower their weapons. Oops, missed a lot of spots. Rick says come out and let’s talk. The voice says they’re not coming out, but they will talk. They have Carol and Maggie.

Next week, a deal is struck.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Kandi, who feels about to pop, is seeing Dr. Jackie (from Married to Medicine — reality crossover!) and has a sonogram. All is well. Jackie tells her she’s been a fantastic pregnant woman. She talks about how they can still have sex and even I’m embarrassed because Mama Joyce is in the room. Next, she asks about names. Kandi likes Ace Wells Tucker. Jackie likes it and so do I. Jackie asks Todd if he has a push gift. Mama Joyce says if Kandi doesn’t like it, she’ll take it. Apparently she and Todd are getting along a lot better these days.

Kim leaves the kids with a sitter to go out on the deck and work. She’s having a video conference with her collaborator, Art, who sounds like he does what an agent does plus more. They discuss various projects and she shelves the one with Kenya. Kim says they’re like oil and water and just can’t work together, even though she had a lot of positive things to say about her project. Kim says she takes her work and reputation seriously.

Phaedra sets a beautiful table Her divorce attorney comes by and they have a drink. The divorce has been filed. The lawyer explains about how Apollo will have to be served in prison. They discuss the boys visiting. Phaedra says she doesn’t want her sons to be exposed to the grittiness of the prison and the attorney says Fort Dix is the best possible scenario as prisons go. She asks what Phaedra is going to tell them. Phaedra says very little, because if for some reason they can’t get in to visit, she doesn’t want them to be confused or bummed out. She says the attorney is like a second mom to her.

Kenya and Matt are meeting Aunt Lori at Kenya’s new house, which is coming along beautifully. Kenya says Matt wants a parking spot at the house, but he needs to put a ring on it first. She introduces him to her aunt, and gives her a tour. Kenya had to fire people along the way, and Lori tells Matt to be careful he doesn’t get fired, but he says he’s expecting a promotion. Go, Matt!

When Lori is alone with Kenya, she asks how it’s going with Matt. Kenya says she’s approaching things differently than in the past, taking it a step at a time. Lori says Kenya hasn’t said much about Matt, and she knows Kenya usually dates rich guys. Kenya says her only concern is the age difference. It sounds like Matt is a good guy and understands Kenya. She says she’s scared he’s the right one. Lori says it’s always a crap shoot with love.

Even though Porsha is a fool, she does have cute dogs. Dogs are the great leveler in this world. No matter how much money you have, they still poop on the floor. Her sister comes by and asks how the Jamaica trip was. She says Oliver surprised her and it went well. Lauren says they need to do a photo shoot for her new “Naked Lingerie” line. Porsha’s “Naked Hair” line has taken off, so she’s expanding. They go over the labels for the clothing and phone the creative director about the shoot. Porsha struggles with words that have more than one syllable and the director tells her she has the brains of a paper cup. I concur. (That means I agree, Porsha.)

Cynthia goes to Kim’s office where Kim is going over the commercial they shot in Jamaica. It’s pretty cute and Cynthia is happy. Cynthia feels badly about the Kenya nonsense. She talks to Kim about what was said about Kim’s husband and Kim says the both of them just laughed it off.

Phaedra visits Kandi bearing a gift. She says their relationship has changed, but they always make it work in the end. Kandi says she’s feeling uncomfortable and ready to have the baby. This is Phaedra’s cue to present Kandi with the gift of nipple conditioner.

They talk about the trip to Jamaica and Phaedra says Nene was there. Kandi is a little surprised since usually Nene wants to distance herself. She tells Kandi about how Cynthia said she and Kenya weren’t such great friends and that Sheree and Nene seemed to have mended fences. Kandi says she wouldn’t be so quick to get back into the friendship if she was Sheree. Kandi asks about the kids in regard to Apollo. Phaedra says Aidan understands somewhat. They talk about the boys a little.

It’s time for the lingerie photo shoot. Cynthia is also going to model. Cynthia says she and Porsha’s friendship is a work in progress. They do hair and make-up, and the pictures begin. I have to admit, this is some nice stuff. They spend so much time getting ready, they lose the light outside, so the operation is moved indoors.

Phaedra and the boys fly to Philadelphia and her mom meets them there. She hasn’t told the boys that they’re there to visit Apollo, just in case they can’t get in. She tells her mother that she’ll tell them when they get to the facility. Her mother says they’ll have to think about how to handle things after they see him. Phaedra doesn’t want them to be traumatized when they have to leave.

Matt and Kenya go out for dinner. She says that usually, a guy Matt’s age is a “drive by” for her, but after Jamaica, she thinks he could be what she’s been looking for. She says even though her clock is ticking, she doesn’t want to pressure him, but wants to know that they’re on the same page. She asks Matt if he’s still a party boy or is he ready to settle down. They make cute banter and the food comes. She asks if he wants children and he says within the next year or so. She admits to not being a spring chicken and thinking about freezing eggs already. When the dessert fondue comes, they get cuddly on one side of the table together.

Phaedra tells the boys they’re going on a surprise visit. I can’t stand Phaedra and think Apollo is a lowlife, but these kids are way cute. She says they haven’t seen Apollo in a year and Dylan might not have much recollection of him, having still been in diapers when Apollo went to prison. Apollo must have done all right as a dad though, because we flash back and they obviously love him. Phaedra is concerned what will happen when they see their father. We flash back to everyone’s opinion on the visitation, but Phaedra says hers is the only opinion that counts because they’re not walking in her shoes. As much as I hate saying it, she’s got a point.

In the car, the kids are adorable again. Phaedra says she’s getting more nervous as the time gets closer. Cameras aren’t allowed inside Fort Dix, so we don’t see the visit.

They go straight to the airport afterward. Phaedra says that Apollo was happy to see them, but the boys got antsy because they’re little and have no attention span. She says it was a lot and she’s not sure about a second visit. Phaedra is glad it’s over with. She says when she brought up the divorce, Apollo was against it, but she’s ready to move on.

Next week — the finale — Cynthia gives Peter a massage (my eyes!), Porsha is late (wink, wink), and it’s Christmastime with Kenya playing The Grinch.

I Am Cait

Yay! Cait is back!

Jenny and the gang come by Cait’s house. The girls are taking a road trip. Cait wants to find out more about other transgenders and immerse herself in trans issues. Kendall and Kylie are there and Cait talks about how difficult it was to tell them she was transitioning. Kendall and/or Kylie says they come from a very open-minded family.

They discuss at what point in time they each discovered when they knew what gender they were. They talk about how difficult it is with being called “dad” in a public place. When Cait’s daughters leave, she says she’ll call them from the road.

Candis says there’s been backlash about Cait in the transgender community and Cait needs a reality check. Cait talks about being the only conservative on the bus during an election year, and how it should be interesting. Probably not the word I’d use.

After picking up more people, they’re off to the Grand Canyon. Lots of banter and jokes and suitcases on the bus. It’s a pretty amazing bus. Not quite like the bus in Spiceworld, but it’s definitely glam. At lunchtime, Cait suggests the stop somewhere in the middle of nowhere and take over a restaurant.

Well, it’s not very crowded. I think they might be the only ones there. So much for a Priscilla, Queen of the Desert moment. There is some comedy though when Shandie gets locked behind on the bus until someone comes to her rescue. The lunch is uneventful and drinks are poured on the bus. Jenny says the trip is about more than having fun, and some of Cait’s hardest work is ahead.

Jenny broaches the subject of Cait saying she thinks of herself as heterosexual. She asks if when Cait was a man, if she thought about men as romantic partners. Jenny says her view changed after she transitioned. Cait says no, she hadn’t ever thought about them that way. Shandie asks if Cait dated women, if she’d consider herself a lesbian. Cait says she can’t see herself dating a woman in the future. She says she’s been there, done that, and has three ex-wives. Jenny says now she can have an ex-husband. Ha-ha! Cait says she doesn’t think women would be attracted to her and the girls beg to differ. They talk about attraction and how it differs with people.

They get to the hotel. Cait says now that she’s said what everyone wants to hear, that she’d date a man, maybe they’ll leave her alone for a while. Fat chance. Welcome to the world of women, where no one can let anything go. Some of the girls go out for a meal and discuss Cait’s openness on the bus. Jenny says that Cait often avoids certain topics, but she can’t run away from them now.

Candis and Cait talk about going on a double date. Cait asks if they’re affair would be over then, referring to the tabloid stories that always have them dating one another.

On the bus, Jenny reads an article about a win in a transgender issue case. At lunch, one of the girls — the youngest, at 18 — talks about going to college, and the rest of the women discuss their experiences as transgenders in school. Jenny says a lot of life experiences depend on the community they live in.

Candis suggests talking to Hilary Clinton. Cait says she’s open to hearing both sides and if Hilary becomes President, they’ll need her on their side. Although Cait says Hilary isn’t on anybody’s side but her own. The ladies disagree and ask which Republican candidate would be on the side of transgender issues. Cait says all of them and they scoff at that.

Cait is out and about meeting people. The ladies go to a gift shop and look at the tchotchkes with names on them. I understand when they get excited to see their names. I rarely see anything that has Theresa with an “h’ in it.

They take a helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon. It’s amazing. I saw it from an airplane window once and that was pretty cool too. They go out for dinner. Lots of eating on this trip. I’m in. They discuss when they used to wear women’s clothing as males. Cait talks about going out once, dressed as a woman, and being mistaken for a transgender by a “chaser.” It’s discussed how men who really love a transgender should step up and show that it’s not just a fetish. Cait says everything is complicated by the media for her. More boyfriend talk.

Jenny says in Houston an ordinance protecting the LGBT community has been repealed. I think she spends most of her life on her iPad, checking news items. The tagline for the opposing viewpoint was “No men in women’s bathrooms.” Jenny says the religious right and conservatives are fear-mongering, and it only takes one group to say something like, transgenders are also molesters, and it creates fear.

Jenny asks how Cait feels as a conservative. She says she thinks it’s the way being a transgender is presented to the public. Jenny says it was the Republicans, which begins a debate. Cait says people keep pressuring her to suddenly become a liberal, but her views aren’t going to change. She doesn’t think it’s a question of being conservative or liberal. I agree, there are a-holes in every group and I think most politicians are out for themselves instead of serving the people. And that’s as political as you’ll ever see me get in public. I do agree with Cait though, that it’s unfair to pressure her into thinking in a way she doesn’t think just because she transitioned. I mean, isn’t part of being accepted showing that a particular segment of people is just the same as everyone else?

Cait says Republicans believe in the Constitution which supports equal rights. One of the ladies talks about an ad that perpetuates fear. Candis says there’s never been a Republican who’s stuck their neck out for transgender issues. Cait says the economy is a bigger issue. Cait says she doesn’t think they’re out to get transgenders. Jenny says being a woman is more than hair and make-up. Cait says that conservatives look at it differently and feel the economic issues are more important and if that mess isn’t taken care of, the rest of it won’t matter. Candis worries that if Cait doesn’t change her viewpoint, she’ll find herself ostracized.

Cait says the economy is going to collapse. Zachary says advocating for her trans brothers and sisters is the most important, and she sees the Democrats promoting their issues. Cait says again that they don’t realize how free programs could contribute to an economic downfall.

This season, some of the LGBT community protest Cait; Kris makes an appearance; the girls try on wedding dresses; Kim helps Cait with a new DMV photo; and Cait meets Hilary.

The Real Housewives of Potomac

Please tell me this is the finale. No? Oh, come on.

Katie, Ashley, Robyn and Gizelle meet for lunch. Katie is going to ask them about the being involved with Rost Foundation. They talk about Ashley’s husband wanting to go swimming off the yacht. Ashley says she feels like everyone is just waiting for her to mess up. Well, yeah.

Katie talks about casino night. Katie wants to raise 100K in three weeks and doesn’t even have a venue yet, but she seems to think she can handle it. She says she hasn’t had an event that’s failed yet. Robyn is like if it doesn’t work out, it’s not on us. Katie says if they don’t want to be on the host committee, they don’t have to be and basically fires them ten seconds after hiring them.

Ashley is hosting a weekend at her beach house. She says she feels like she’s the freshman in the group. Her friend tells her to teach them how it’s done.

Katie tells Andrew about the lunch. She says everyone’s egos are too inflated to be supportive. She’s not exactly in the mood for a beach holiday with them, but she’s sucking it up because she likes Ashley.

Karen’s husband wonders if she has bricks in her suitcase and I understand. My father used to ask that about my purse.

Ashley frets about being one of the group. Since Karen is helping her, she’s offered to be her driver. They go in a two-seater, along with Ashley’s dog. Despite their issues, the rest of the girls go with Katie, whose car actually looks like a normal car. Karen asks if Ashley is nervous. Ashley says she wants to be a part of the group and feels like an outsider. Karen says she and her husband built their own life and she once felt that way. She says as Black women, they should embrace each other. The other girls play “Marry, Shag, Kill,” which I think is the stupidest game in the world.

Ashley tells Karen her room plan. Karen gives it the thumbs up. The other girls talk about Katie’s dating life, including Russell Simmons. Katie once blogged about catching him cheating. Gizelle is all tsk-tsk, but in her individual interview, Katie says she’s a fine one to talk, since her husband is all over the blogs. No blogs that I read.

Three hours later — an hour longer than I like to be in a car — they arrive at Ashley’s beach house, which is of course incredible. Ashley has hired a chef and breaks out the drinks. The girls think the cocktails are too sweet and demand ask for champagne. They talk about Ashley’s sex life and I go ♫ LA-LA-LA! ♫ For whatever reason, Ashley says she can tell the women don’t like the food. I have the feeling they probably don’t like much of anything they don’t control themselves.

Ashley shows them their rooms. She says she assigned rooms according to friendships. Robyn finds it all hysterical that she’s staying with Gizelle. It’s obviously a kid’s room and Gizelle is offended. Some girl who I don’t know is rooming with Charrisse, whose name was spelled wrong on the little cards Ashley made, so she claims that’s not her bed.

Gizelle starts Googling hotels and says you don’t put a grown woman in a kiddie bed. It’s a twin bed. Robyn thinks they should get a grip. Gizelle says if Karen had her room, she’d be losing her wig. All the hotels are filled, and Ashley is made to feel like a lowlife. What a bunch of jerks these women are. Is it the finale yet?

Commercial break. Yay! The Shahs of Sunset is back April 10. It’s one of my favorites.

It’s breakfast time and everyone is pitching in except Gizelle. Robyn says she didn’t hear the end of it all night. Worst. Guest. Ever. Ashley says they’re going surfing and those who don’t want to have the option of lounging on the beach. Ashley cops to the fact that had she been up front about the accommodations, some of them might not have come. Charrisse admits that she almost left, but she’s going to stick it out. Oh, gee, congratulations. What I wouldn’t give for a few days at Ashley’s beach house. Even rooming with whoever that extra woman is.

Gizelle says there are sharks in the water, so surfing is dangerous, but I think it’s more a hair and make-up issue. Karen and Charrisse sit it out with her. The girls go out on the water and Ashley’s tattoo is discussed. Ashley thinks everyone is having a good time. Karen thinks there should have been a safer option like a boating expedition. I think Ashley is a real pita, but she’s fun. I’d definitely hang out with her, especially if she’s buying.

Katie tells Charrisse about her lunch and how the girls weren’t supportive of her endeavors. They’re out at the market buying crabs for the grill. In the meantime, Robyn is preparing the grill and Ashley has sweated through her dress because she’s not wearing underwear. This is the most TMI episode ever. The crabs get grilled. Ashley starts to discuss bathroom habits and I agree with Karen that this should be a conversation for another time, not while we’re eating.

Charrisse is all kumbaya and suggests they go around the table, saying something good about one of the others. Gizelle says something about Katie being brilliant, which Katie takes as Gizelle saying she’s stupid, and I’m totally lost on that. In her individual interview though, Gizelle does say that she thinks something is wrong with Katie. Please, is this show over yet?

Still in the throes of bonding, after going inside, Charrisse suggests they say whatever is on their hearts. Gizelle talks about a tea that makes you go to the bathroom and we’re back at that conversation. Robyn asks Charrisse how she’s feeling about divorce. Charrisse tears up and says material things don’t matter. Gizelle says they don’t matter to her either and I wonder if I’ve changed channels.

Karen talks about her mother having early dementia and says she’d give up everything to change that. Okay, that one I would believe. Robyn starts to talk about how a best friend stole money from her and her husband, and starts to cry.

Next week, hopefully we finish that thought; Katie’s behavior at Ashley’s birthday party is discussed (again); Gizelle says Karen is doing well with Ashley, but by the end of the day Karen is done.

Whew!

Feb29

February 28, 2016 — The Dead & Nothing But the Dead

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

The only show with enough guts to air a new episode opposite The Who-Cares-What-Number-It-Is Academy Awards. AMC’s Walking Dead, we salute you!

The Walking Dead

Abe is telling camel stories to Sasha, while they check out the perimeter of Alexandria. They talk about Maggie having a baby. I’m thinking maybe Abe wants to have one with Sasha. When he says he’ll see her tomorrow, she says she’s taking a new shift. She says Eugene wants to help more, so he’s going to be walking with Abe. He changes it to see you around.

Abe is in bed with Rosita. I’m confused. Was he dreaming or was that a memory? Rosita tosses him a necklace that she made for him. He tells her she’s damn near perfection. Why not total perfection? Something in the necklace makes him think of giving the victory sign to Sasha.

Maggie and Glenn are doing something with the garden. Someone is sneaking around and they follow.

Paul is in Rick’s house and Carl draws a gun on him. Paul (introducing himself as Jesus, so I guess we’ll go with that now) says he’s waiting for Carl And Michonne. Two seconds later, everyone is there for a meeting. Jesus gives them a scorecard of Alexandria and what they’ve got going on as far as supplies and other assets. He says they got off to a bad start, but they’re on the same side. He says he’s from a place like Alexandria and he scouts for others. He admits he misjudged them, thinking they weren’t good people and he wants to make amends now. He talks about the settlement where he’s from, Hilltop, and says they’ve started breeding livestock.

Maggie asks if they’ve thrown in with other groups, and Jesus says their world is about to get a whole lot bigger. Cool! I’m excited to see new people.

Rick and the gang are going with Jesus to Hilltop. Denise gives Daryl an oatcake for the road. Carl wonders what’s up with Rick and Michonne. Rick says he was going to tell him, but it just happened. Carl says it’s cool. Carl is staying behind this time and says he’ll keep an eye on Baby Judith.

Abe asks Glenn something about Bisquick and pancakes. What he’s really asking about is Maggie’s pregnancy. Abe tells Glenn that if he sees rain coming, he wears galoshes. Can’t this guy speak English? Dr. Phil would probably understand him.

Rick sees a crashed RV. It’s some of Jesus’s group. There’s blood everywhere and the crash victims have turned into zombies. At first, Rick thinks Jesus set them up, but Jesus says they don’t have many fighters in their group and whoever else was in the RV is in trouble. Rick says he’ll look for them, but Jesus is staying behind with Maggie, who has orders to shoot him if he gets weird.

Rick and company go into a totally dark building where you can hear zombies lurking about. They tell the live people to hang tight. Abe nearly kills one of them because it’s really hard to tells who’s who in the dark.

Back in the RV, one of the rescued guys introduces himself as Harlan. It turns out he’s an obstetrician, which is good news for Maggie and Glenn. Jesus’s friend Freddy, the guy Abe almost killed, is still freaked out. His wife had been killed and she came back as a zombie.

Uh-oh, the RV is stuck in the mud. Jesus is like, it’s okay, we’re close enough. They get out and see the compound on the hilltop. Apparently, they’re not too original with names.

Jesus tells the lookout to open the gates. The lookout says to drop the weapons, but Jesus tells him the group saved them and he trusts them. He asks Rick to trust his group in return. Lookout guy opens the gates.

Harlan says see you on the flipside and takes Freddy for a look-see. Ha-ha! Jesus says a lot of people came from a FEMA camp. I’ll bet that was scarier than the zombie apocalypse. At the center of the settlement is a Colonial mansion. Jesus says it was a historical site that kids visited on field trips back in the day. It’s some house.

Ha-ha! again. When they go inside, a guy comes out and says “Jesus, you’re back,” a sentence you could take more then one way. His name is Gregory and he says he’s the boss. He suggests Rick and friends tidy up and they’ll meet after.

Abe asks Daryl how long Rick and Michonne have been together (5 minutes?) and if he’s thought of settling down.

Rick sends Maggie to Gregory’s office to negotiate. Gregory says he had visited the place when it was a museum and little did he know one day it would be his. Well, sort of. He thanks her for saving the doctor. She asks how they’ve survived at Hilltop. He says they’re good at it and they don’t sweat the details. They talk about gardens and Maggie brings up a trade. Gregory says he’s happy to help, but he can’t give things away for free. He says they can work there for their share.

Um…I think he’s making a pass at her. Yes he is. Maggie tells him to knock it off. She says hilltop is low on medication and their communities can help each other.

Jesus tells Rick and Daryl that Gregory is going to want the best deal possible. Rick says they need food and they didn’t come all this way not to get it. Jesus says he’ll talk to Gregory. He says right now Hilltop is going well, but tomorrow it could be Alexandria. He asks for a few days.

Some guy comes in and says “they’re back.” A negotiation with Negan has gone wrong with people getting killed and being held hostage. A hostage’s brother (who is wearing a man bun — no, just no) has been returned along with a message from Negan in the form of said brother stabbing Gregory in the stomach. Everything goes nuts, Abe is being strangled, Daryl breaks the guy’s arm, man bun holds a knife to Rick’s throat. Rick turns the tables on him though, slicing man bun’s jugular vein.

Some woman knocks Rick in the head and Michonee knocks her down. Jesus says Negan was their friend, but now he’s nothing except a coward attacking them. Gregory is still just lying there bleeding. Geez. Jesus tells Rick things aren’t as simple as they seem and to give him some time.

The doctor is able to patch Gregory up. Negan is head of a group called The Saviors. They made demands and threats to Hilltop, and beat one of the children to death in front of everyone because Negan wanted them to understand where he was coming from. Gregory isn’t the best at confrontation and agreed to give Negan half of everything in exchange for Hilltop not being slaughtered. Daryl asks how many people Negan has. Jesus says they don’t know, but they’ve seen groups with as many as twenty. Daryl says they can take him out, but he wants an exchange. Jesus says he’ll take it to Gregory.

Rick says Gregory’s people have food, they don’t, and they need to trade their services in exchange. Jesus says Gregory wants to talk to Maggie.

Maggie goes to Gregory’s room where he’s recuperating. She says he’s lucky they were there. She asks if Jesus told him about the deal and says in exchange for supplies, they’ll get rid of Negan and The Saviors. Will work for food. Gregory says Jesus will make the arrangements. He also says it’s fun and exciting because he doesn’t get out much. Maggie says if they continue with Negan, pretty soon they won’t have anything. She wants half of what he has right now or the deal is off.

Gregory tells her she has a deal. He asks if she wants anything else and she says yes. She wants some of the Hilltop people to go with them.

Rick loads the RV with supplies. He asks one of the Hilltoppers (Hilltopites?) to come with them because he needs someone who knows Negan’s layout. Jesus is coming along too, just for the hell of it.

Maggie gets an ultrasound.

The RV leaves the compound. Glenn passes around the sonogram photo.

Next week, Rick decides on a strategy to come for The Saviors before The Saviors come for them.

Feb22

February 21, 2016 — The Dead Walk & the Wives Throw Shade

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

The Walking Dead

Carl certainly seems to have recovered well from his eyeball mishap. All seems to be copacetic in Alexandria as well.

Denise gives Daryl a list of things needed as he’s going on a supply run with Rick. She also wants some soda and candy for a couple of the others. Ha-ha-ha! She calls soda “pop” and has to explain that to Daryl, saying she’s from Ohio. Me too, and it took me forever to start calling it “soda.”

Eugene gives Daryl a list of agricultural needs. Daryl and Rick drive off. Rick thinks today is the day they’ll find food and people. They haven’t seen anyone for weeks. Rick puts in a CD, while Daryl begs him not to. I assume they have different musical tastes.

Michonne is on guard duty. She sees Spencer going into the woods with a shovel.

Maggie asks Enid where she’s been. She says nowhere and Maggie thinks there are better places for her to be. Maggie tells her if she needs to talk to come to her.

Daryl and Rick find a feed store out in the middle of nowhere. (Is that where Enid has been?) No zombies inside, so they’re good. They find a truck and Rick suggests using it for the rest of their trip. They take the truck to a filling station, which I would doubt has any gas. They use the truck to flip over a vending machine, but instead of soda, a guy with a bandana over his nose and mouth pops out.

Dude says he was just running from the dead. Daryl asks how many and where. He says more than 10 and they probably have about 10 minutes to get out of there. He says his name is Paul, but his friends used to call him Jesus. Rick starts to ask him the three questions, but Paul-Jesus says he’s in a hurry and runs off.

Rick tells Daryl he noticed that Paul was clean with a trimmed beard, which means he’s been doing okay, and is contemplating picking him up later. They hear some gun shots and run around the other side of the station. It’s only firecrackers. Firecrackers put there by Paul who steals the truck. What would Jesus do? I’m not sure, but what he wouldn’t do is steal your truck.

Michonne follows Spencer. He’s about to whack a zombie and she does it for him. She asks why he’s there and he says he walks in between his shifts, but she’s the first one who’s noticed. She wants to walk with him, but he wants to go it alone. She says his mom told her to figure out what she wants for her life, but right now she’s trying to figure out why he’s walking around in the woods with a shovel.

Carl and Enid are also on a walk in the woods. They find a note in a plastic bag, but it’s wet, so they can’t read it. She says it doesn’t look very old and that means they’re not alone. Enid asks why they’re walking and Carl says that’s what kids do. Enid says she’s not a kid.

Rick and Daryl try chasing after the truck on foot, and come across the vending machine in the road, totally perplexing me. Daryl takes out a couple of cans for Denise. They have a drink and keep running.

Commercial break. Hey, it’s GH’s Obrecht back with Fear 462. And it looks like she’s been bitten. Or scratched. Or something.

Enid and Carl are sitting under a tree, having a snack and reading, when they see Michonne and Spencer. They don’t notice Carl and Enid. Enid says she doesn’t want to come out there anymore. Carl says okay and starts walking away, leaving her to carry everything. Nice.

They see a zombie and while Enid wants to ignore it, Carl is concerned about Michonne. He makes a sound so the zombie changes course. For whatever reason, he isn’t killing it and Enid wants to either kill it or leave. Carl knocks the zombie down and tells her if she doesn’t want to be there, to go home. So she leaves. I would too. He’s getting a little kooky.

Daryl and Rick continue to follow the truck’s trail until they finally see Paul. The truck is stopped and he’s messing around in the back. Rick grabs him from behind, but apparently Paul knows martial arts. Paul slips though and they draw their guns. Rick tells him he wants the keys. Paul says he’s not a bad guy and Rick says Paul doesn’t know what they are.

Rick gets the keys and they tie Paul up. Daryl says the knots aren’t that tight and he should be able to get loose when they’re gone. He throws Paul a can of soda and they take off, Daryl saying good-by with his middle finger.

Rick tells Daryl today is still the day. Well, they did see one person. They realize something is on the roof and stop short. Paul drops to the ground. Daryl jumps out of the moving truck and chases him. Rick stupidly stops the truck to help, which allows Paul to get back in the cab while Rick is dealing with the surrounding zombies. Paul grabs Daryl’s gun and tells Daryl to duck. He shoots a zombie coming up behind Daryl and Daryl knocks Paul out with a punch. All that has resulted from this is the truck sliding backwards and sinking into the nearby lake.

Daryl tells Rick they should go look at cars. Rick says what about unconscious Paul, since he did help Daryl. Daryl says fine, they’ll put him in a tree.

Michonne continues to follow Spencer. He tells her he’s fine, but he needs to take care of something. Or at least try. Michonne asks him to let her help, but he says she can’t. They see Carl in the distance being followed by a zombie.

Spencer says he thought he “saw her that night.” It’s Deanna. I thought they shot her that night. Spencer and Michonne put a hold on her and Spencer puts her out of her misery. So that’s why he was trolling the woods. The scene is brief, but sad.

Spencer and Michonne bury Deanna. He says she left him a note saying he knows his way, but he doesn’t think he does. Michonne says he loved his family and he still has a home in Alexandria. They head back.

Rick and Daryl have still unconscious Paul in the new truck. Rick says Paul must have a hard head, but Denise needs to take a look at him when they get back.

Carl is rocking Baby Judith on the porch. Michonne tells him she saw him with Deanna and that he should have left her or killed her. He says that’s stupid. She says what’s stupid is him being out there and Carl says he couldn’t leave her out there like that and he couldn’t kill her. She asks him if he was playing some kind of game. He says he thought someone who loved her should be the one to end her existence and Michonne would have done the same thing.

Daryl and Carl get back to Alexandria. Paul is still out and they carry him to Denise’s house. Or office. Whatever. They leave Paul on a mattress with a glass of water and a note. We don’t see what the note says.

Rick tries to get some shut-eye on the couch and Michonne tells him to move over. They watch Judith on a monitor. Michonne asks where Daryl is and Rick says he’s watching over a guy. Michonne is like, a guy? and asks him if he wants to talk about it. He says no, but what about her day? She says same thing and Rick asks if she found a guy too. He gives her some mints and says he had toothpaste per her request, but it’s at the bottom of the lake now.

All of a sudden, they realize they’re holding hands. They kiss. Dammit! I want her with Daryl. They move on to more than kissing.

We don’t see what happens next (nor do I want to), but in the next scene they’re nakey and in bed sleeping. Someone tells Rick to wake up. Paul is there. Now I’m wondering where Daryl is.

Next week, I have no idea what happens. Either they didn’t show it or I missed it somehow.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

The ladies are talking about Sheree having Googled Kim’s husband and tell Kim what had been discussed about him, throwing Kenya under the bus. Kenya says when Kim isn’t around, they all have something to say about Chris, but now it’s a different story. I agree. Kenya was not the only one talking about him in a negative way, but now he’s the most wonderful guy ever.

When Kim leaves, Kenya says what’s up with them not saying to her face what they said behind her back. Kenya says the rumors about Chris being gay have been around for years, so it’s not like she’s talking out of turn.

Kim and Nene meet for brunch. Nene feels badly about what happened in regard to Chris. Kim says she’s felt like a target and Nene says she should address it and not be passive.

Phaedra joins them and Nene fills her in. Both Nene and Phaedra say they’ve been Kenya’s targets in the past. Kim says she’s not going to lower herself. Nene says she has to do something, and Phaedra says it’s not necessary to lower herself. They role play to give Kim a reading lesson. They totally make fun of Kenya, which I guess is okay with Kim who finds it hysterically funny. Oddly enough, I think she just did lower herself.

Kandi and Todd go to meet with a potential chef for their restaurant. Todd says everyone is on board with it except Aunt Bertha. The aunts and Mama Joyce have been invited to check out the tasting menu. The chef comes out with the food and says if they don’t like it, he didn’t make it. Ha-ha!

The food looks phenomenal and everyone loves it except Aunt Bertha. She’s only okay with the ribs, which she says are off the chain. Everyone is also good with the restaurant idea except Aunt Bertha. Apparently, Aunt Bertha is a real pita.

Kim says while she appreciates Nene and Phaedra’s advice, reading isn’t her style. She calls Chris and tells him about the ladies Googling his sexual preferences. Chris isn’t bothered, but he mentions that there’s plenty on Google about all of them, like mug shots. Kim says she’d rather play grown than play dirty. Um, Kim, you weren’t playing grown in that restaurant.

Peter takes the group on the river walk that he calls the Jamaican Six Flags. The place is beautiful, but right away Nene is all I can’t do it. She waits while the others go. Kenya and Matt are at the top before anyone else. Cynthia says everything isn’t a competition and it could have been a bonding experience. Nene says she doesn’t like how Kenya is isolating herself. At least she did the activity and didn’t sit it out on the side.

Afterward, the group goes to a jerk place. I don’t mean the people are jerks, appropriate though it may be for this group; I mean the way the meat is smoked. Phaedra makes a face like she smelled something bad while she’s eating. The guys start bugging Matt about the age difference between him and Kenya, which I guess is also okay.

Nene talks about the brunch with Phaedra and Kim, and says they talked about Kenya. She says Kim doesn’t understand what the problem between them is, and suggests they discuss it. Kim says she feels Kenya crossed a line and disrespected her. She wants either no conversation or cordial conversation, but no more talk about her family. Kenya congratulates her on speaking for herself. Cynthia interrupts and says that Kim wasn’t throwing shade and Kenya was disrespectful. Kenya asks not to be interrupted, since she didn’t interrupt Kim. She says she doesn’t hate Kim but she’s indifferent.

Cynthia brings up how Kenya pulled Kim’s chair during an altercation. She says things like that can make an argument turn physical and she owes Kim an apology. Kenya thanks her for her honesty. Kim says it should hae been handled a different way. Kenya apologizes for the chair thing. Kim says if there’s mutual respect, they can get along and agree to disagree.

Cynthia thinks there’s a deeper issue than Kim and Kenya, and that she and Kenya need to address some things. Nene leaves and Peter suggests they have a shot. Frankly, I think that often leads to problems with these people too.

Sheree, Nene and Cynthia go to some ice cream place where I want one of everything. Cynthia seems to think the conversation with Kenya was productive. She also says Nene has come a long way. Really? Cynthia brought a list of things she wants to go over with Kenya and goes over it with the other two. Because it’s okay to throw shade when it’s you.

It’s the last night and Cynthia says despite the problems, she thinks everyone had a good time. They gather for cocktails at a gazebo near the water. Phaedra says Peter looks good enough to bury and Porsha asks if he’s “casket sharp.” Phaedra says when you look good enough to meet Jesus, you’re looking pretty good. She means the real Jesus, not the new Walking Dead guy. Cynthia says that this is the Peter she fell in love with.

It’s dinner time and Kenya still hasn’t shown up. Peter starts talking about how great the trip was, going over everything they’ve done so we can see flashbacks. Kenya and Matt arrive. Sheree’s ex, Bob, who came on the trip is hoping to get back together with her. They all make funny comments about Kenya and Matt. Matt used the word “love” in his conversation with the guys, so that gets some attention.

They talk about the commercial and Cynthia says the only thing missing for her was Kenya. Kenya says she wasn’t given the opportunity to present her concepts and it was hurtful. We flash back to all that mess. Cynthia says even though she chose Kim to direct, she’d wanted Kenya to play opposite her as the best friend. Kenya jokes that was before Nene came back. Nene says she’s always going to be around. Interesting, since the last season we heard from her, she couldn’t stand working with any of them. I guess the big world of acting wasn’t as easy as she thought.

Peter says Kenya was her first choice. Kenya says that when she felt everyone was against her, Cynthia was the one who stood up for her. She says she was in her feelings and behaved like a jerk (this time meaning as in a person). She says she’s sorry she let Cynthia down. Cynthia says it was important to her and sometimes friends have to do what they don’t feel like doing. She accepts the apology, but I think that was an unnecessary comment.

Phaedra, being the cretin she is, says that she thinks it’s just more bad acting form Kenya. I like this woman less and less every episode.

They have a final toast.

Next week, the ladies have a lingerie photo shoot, Matt wants a wife, and Phaedra’s kids visit their dad in prison.

The Real Housewives of Potomac

Is the season over yet?

I notice Ashley’s voice goes up a notch when she gets excited. This isn’t a good look when doing business.

Karen and her daughter, Raven, are taking a self-defense class. Karen wants her daughter to learn to defend herself since she’s going off to college. About a year prior, Karen was mugged and had her diamond necklace stolen. She says she kept her ring though, since she took it off and slid it into “Never Never Land.” I don’t even want to think about what that means, but I am wondering how she accomplished that during the mugging.

Karen says the job of a parent is never done, so she also bought Raven a hot pink stun gun.

Ashley and Michael are opening a restaurant geared toward Australian fare. She’s looking for an assistant and conducting interviews. When they get to asking the candidates about their knowledge of Australia, it’s pretty much a blank slate across the board. After the interviews, Ashley and Michael discuss the interviewees and they both are leaning toward Jasmine.

Robyn comes to visit Charrisse. Since Charrisse gets “NBA life” (whatever that means), Robyn says she shares a bond with her that she doesn’t with the others. They have some food and wine. Robyn tells Charrisse that her ex-husband might have to take out-of-state work. Charrisse asks if she’s still in love with him. Even though she lives with him, they share a bed and have sex, Robyn says they’re not in a relationship. Okay. Robyn says she thinks she’s going to stay in Potomac if he goes, but if she misses him, that might change.

Charrisse says she’s on the fence about her marriage. She says her husband is a great father, but a lousy husband. She’s feeling she’s at the point where something drastic has to happen. She basically blew him off in a text to which he never responded. She says wants a divorce, and Robyn tells her if he won’t do it, she’ll have to.

Gizelle is having a girls’ night with Karen, who’s hoping to gossip with her instead of about her. Is this the level of etiquette she’s so proud of? They talk about how Ashley had a cash bar at her birthday party, which I have to admit is a bit crass. Gizelle said she walked out without paying because she didn’t know. I’ll have to remember that one for next time. Karen says she wants to school Ashley in how to entertain.

Karen is having a couples dinner. She says it’s BYOM — Bring Your Own Man. Gizelle wonders about the ladies whose husbands work away from home. They discuss Katie making out like crazy with her boyfriend at the birthday party and seem to think she’s “on something.” They sound like my grandmother or Archie Bunker. A storm starts outside and thunder happens every time they try to talk shade. I think God is trying to tell them something.

Ashley’s mom and brother come over. They play a game of pool and she tells them about the other Potomac ladies. Ashley’s mom was a single mother and they’re very close. She recently had to file bankruptcy and I wonder why Ashley didn’t help her out. Oh, okay, it seems like her mother doesn’t want her helping out.

Katie is waiting for Karen at a restaurant and talking to her boyfriend on the phone. She’s nervous because she wants to get her on the host committee for her foundation.

Karen arrives. Karen says something about the PDA at Ashley’s event and Katie apologizes. She asks what Karen thought about the cat theme and Karen says she’s a little old for all that nonsense, and calls it a teeny-bopper party. Karen approaches her about the Rost Foundation. She says she has a month to get a casino night together and needs Karen’s help. She’s looking for donations in the amount of 100K, and asks Karen if she’ll be on the committee, but Karen says she’s booked. And she won’t give up her Rolodex either. Do people still use those? Probably only people who use phrases like teeny-bopper.

Gizelle meets her date, Herman. She’s getting back into the dating pool, and I’m thinking she can do better than this. It’s her second date and I guess his credentials are impressive. They make a toast with water and he gets a little forward. The raw oysters come and Herman made the mistake of thinking they were fried. Although I like them now, I made this same mistake in a restaurant when I was 12. I was totally grossed out once I put the oyster in my mouth. I didn’t want to swallow it, but I didn’t want to spit it out in a restaurant full of people, so I just sat there with it in my mouth until I couldn’t deal anymore and chugged it down.

Gizelle thinks Herman needs a little more pizzazz. I could have told her that. She invites him to the couple’s dinner. He starts talking about it being a third date, but she says it doesn’t count. On top of it he makes the horrible mistake of calling the oysters “clams.” I’m not saying it’s horrible — I do it all the time — but Gizelle seems put off by it.

Katie and Andrew meet Ashley and her husband for a round of golf. Katie says she doesn’t really like the game, but she likes the outfits and driving the cart. Ashley hits the dirt the first time out, but manages to hit the ball on the second try.

The girls have a drink while the guys continue on with the game. Katie tells Ashley about Karen not being able to be on the committee. She tells Ashley that Karen thought the birthday party was for a younger crowd and Ashley says that was kind of ageist. Katie says she likes hanging out with Ashley rather than the old biddies, who aren’t really that old, but act like it.

Karen had matriarchs of the community to help her when she first was getting the hang of big society, and she feels responsible to help Ashley the same way.

Robyn is playing a game of basketball with her ex, Juan, and their kids. She says they’re technically not a couple (seriously, I’d like to know just what they are), so she doesn’t think she wants to bring him to the dinner because they have enough pressure.

Ashley and Michael arrive first for the dinner, then Gizelle with Herman. The rest trickle in. They’re on a docked yacht. Say that three times real fast.

Karen’s husband Ray makes a toast. Michael suggests they go swimming and Ray is all for it, but Karen puts the kibosh on that idea. There’s a lot of cocktail chatter, none of it interesting. Katie tells Gizelle about Karen calling her out about the PDA. Gizelle says it really wasn’t cool, and Katie says she’s sorry and that she’d had too much to drink. I’d be drinking a lot too, if I was around these people. Gizelle says she’ll help with the casino night.

Michael wants to go swimming, and begins to take his shoes and pants off, and Gizelle discourages it. Karen is all like, “we” don’t do this. Is that the royal “we” or is she pregnant? She says she loves what he’s trying to do, but not here. Ashley invites all the ladies to their beach house for a girls’ weekend.

Next week, Gizelle doesn’t have a bed at the beach house, Katie is called out again because no one can drop it, the ladies turn it out at a gay club, and Karen is done with Ashley.

Feb15

February 14, 2016 — Potomac, Atlanta & Alexandria

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

The Real Housewives of Potomac

I started this and I’m going to see the season through if it kills me.

Karen has an appointment to look at planes for flight lessons and Gizelle is along for the meeting. Karen and Gizelle talk about Ashley. Karen thinks she needs guidance and Karen is just the one to give it to her.

Ashley meets Katie at the park. She wants to spend time with Katie’s kids to get used to having her own. Ashley tells Katie how the whiskey tasting party went.

Karen picks out a plane and prays over it.

Ashley and Katie push the kids on the swings. Ashley tells Katie about a birthday party she’s having for herself. She’s going to be 27 and says she wants a baby yesterday. Katie wants to have a baby with boyfriend Andrew, but says not being married first isn’t a good look.

Ashley tells Katie about how she googled everyone and tells her that Robyn and her ex-husband only have 25 bucks in their bank account and are declaring bankruptcy. in her individual interview, Ashley says she googles everyone because today you don’t know what people are up to. Just ask Teresa Giudice about that one. I’m actually kind of surprised that she needs to google other members of a reality show she’s on.

Charrisse is entertaining a friend and talks about how difficult life is because her husband is married to his job and she seems like the mistress. She longs for the good old days when they were poor. I’m sure it sounds good, but I’ll bet she’d be crying if she lost all that money. She’s actually crying now, but she’d be crying a lot harder if she couldn’t pay for that Louis Vuitton.

Her friend asks if she wants to keep fighting for her marriage. Charrisse says that she wants to keep her family together, but she’ll see.

Gizelle and her daughters are meeting her ex-husband, Jamal. Gizelle says they’re still family despite his cheating ways and the divorce. He’s been on TV, being a well-known pastor in the Baltimore area who’s active in civil disobedience. Gizelle isn’t interested in getting back together, but they seem to have worked things out pretty well as far as the kids are concerned.

Karen shows up for her first flight lesson and is a little freaked that they’re changing planes on her. That prayer doesn’t count now. Her husband and daughter are there for moral support. Karen gets the plane off the ground, although I’m sure the real pilot does most of the driving the first time out. Karen says the next thing on her bucket list is the mile high club. I don’t suggest she join it while piloting the plane though.

Katie says that during her divorce, she was overwhelmed and Andrew helped make peace with all the parties involved. Katie’s nanny, Mae, is a lesbian and she says she loves that because she loves her energy. What? What does that mean? They’ve all recently moved into Andrew’s house. Some design changes were needed, so Katie took charge. Boy, is he going to be surprised when he gets home and finds out his old bedroom is a walk-in closet.

Robyn is giving her kids dinner. She has to get to work and they’re all, eww! and I hate this food, like typical kids. The sitter comes and she dashes to some PR event.

Karen calls Charrisse whose kids are in New Jersey with their dad. Karen offers to come over to keep her company since she hates being alone. While they’re having champagne, Gizelle and Katie decide to surprise them. Charrisse says Gizelle is welcome as long as she doesn’t act like she did at her crab boil. If I hear the words “crab boil” one more time, I’m going to scream. Especially since they don’t evoke anything close to what Charrisse had.

The girls compare shoes and talk about Ashley’s upcoming birthday party. Gizelle tells them about how one of the first things Ashley talked about to her was how big her man’s doodad was. Then they get into a conversation about doodads. Katie tells them about Ashley googling everybody. For once I agree with Karen when she wonders what anyone needs to do that for.

Katie tells them about how Ashley brought up people’s finances. Karen says maybe Ashley doesn’t know any better, that she’s a diamond in the rough that needs buffing. This leeds Charrisse to start talking about how she’s having a difficult time in her marriage. Gizelle asks how she’s feeling about it, but Charrisse is on the fence. Charrisse starts to cry. Gizelle says not to be afraid to share because they’re all in her corner. She’s pretty nice for someone who was on the wrong side of this hard-on just five minutes ago.

Ashley is having her birthday party in the same place where she used to bartend, and her husband is part owner. The party’s them is “Big Kitty Bash.” I guess everyone is dressing up as a cat?

Andrew comes home to his newly designed place, including a new room added for the nanny. Katie says if he’s going on trips where he doesn’t invite her, he’s going to have to get used to this kind of thing. My husband used to say every time he went away, he came back to a different furniture arrangement, so I can identify with this. Andrew is pretty startled. He says he’s not a fan, and maybe they could have discussed it first, but he’ll accept it.

Everyone is getting ready for Ashley’s party. Gizelle has Robyn on the phone and tells her about Ashley’s googling. She tells Robyn how Ashley gossiped about Robyn’s financial situation. Robyn wonders if she should go to the party. Gizelle says of course, since she wants Robyn to stir the pot.

Karen thinks Ashley needs to be schooled in he etiquette of googling. Charrisse is under the mistaken impression that someone might hit on her at the party. I don’t see cat outfits, but there’s a lot of animal prints, and there are some kind of nakey servers wearing only cat body paint.

Robyn says happy birthday or not, she’s going to deal with this googling business. Katie and Andrew are making out. How old are these two? OMG — it’s a cash bar! Gizelle tells Robyn to question Ashley on her googleability and I laugh, even though I’m still stuck on the fact there is a cash bar at a rich person’s birthday party. the worst wedding I ever went to had a cash bar.

Hey here’s a first. I think Katie is wearing a Betsey Johnson leopard print dress that I have. If it’s not that same dress, it’s awfully close. One time, a General Hospital character wore the same sweater I own. Unfortunately, I hadn’t worn it yet and then I was afraid that I would be seen as copying them when it was really the other way around.

Robyn approaches Ashley. Ashley says Robyn seemed standoffish, so she thought something might be going on in Robyn’s life. When she googled Robyn, stuff about Juan’s bankruptcy came up. Ashley says maybe it has something to do with that, maybe Robyn just does’t like her. Robyn says it’s neither — which Ashley would know if she’d actually asked Robyn rather than going to the internet for answers. Robyn says that because of past experiences, she proceeds with caution when it comes to new people. I’m sure this didn’t help her trust issues any. Ashley has the nerve to say Robyn should have gotten to know her before making any decisions because Ashley isn’t out to hurt her.

Gizelle is like how can she say that when she’s out there googling stuff and talking about it to other people? Ashley says again that she didn’t mean anything by it. Everything is suddenly cool, which seems to be how it works with this group, but Robyn is still miffed. I would be too. Not that Ashley checked Robyn out, but hat she said something to Katie. She had no business gossiping about Robyn’s financial situation.

Katie and Andrew won’t stop making out and Gizelle says it’s like he just came back from war. Ashley says 27 is a big year for some stupid reason and gets a Porshe as a gift. It has one of those big bows on it. Ho-hum.

Next time. Gizelle’s date feeds her oysters, Ashley’ mother has a problem and Ashley’s husband is lookin’ like a fool with his pants on the ground.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Honestly, these are some of the worst Housewives taglines ever. I cringe every time I hear them.

Peter is taking everyone on a bus tour to Kingston. Jamaica is his homeland and he wants everyone to see everything. Malorie shows up on the bus, but Kenya has decided to go to a spa with Matt instead, so it’s like an in and out item.

Cynthia tells everyone that someone told Kenya that Cynthia denied their friendship. Sheree says it was her and that’s not what she said. Cynthia says that it got heated before she could explain how she felt. Cynthia starts weeping about friendship and Nene and I don’t know what. Sheree suggests she and Kenya have a talk when things have calmed down. Kim starts yelling about how she got left off of the friend list and to stop the bus immediately. It’s pretty funny and breaks the tension.

While they’re in the bubble bath (!), Kenya tells Matt her side of the Cynthia friendship. Like I’m sure he cares.

Nene says when they get back, she’ll invite Kenya for a cocktail and try to straighten things out. Peter is taking the group to some barbecue place and Phaedra gets overly excited about eating barbecued goat, which gives me a picture of her on a spit with an apple in her mouth. She’s really gotten obnoxious in the past couple of seasons.

Peter’s relatives meet them at the restaurant. This is the first time Cynthia is meeting the ones who live in Jamaica. The food looks fantastic and it’s all farm/sea to table. Peter tells a pointless story. Kim announces the call time for the commercial as 10 am. She seems pretty organized. It’s time to say good-by to the relatives.

The girls are back at the hotel and there’s a buffet by the swimming pool. I’m gaining weight just watching this trip. The guys go to a nearby martini bar.

Nene knocks on Kenya’s door. Kenya says she ordered a chicken sandwich, but Nene doesn’t look like one. Ha-ha, Kenya! Nene asks Kenya to come down for a nightcap. Kenya says Cynthia hurt her feelings. Nene says Cynthia never bashed her and that Cynthia was crying about it. Kenya relents and joins the group.

Cynthia say she cherishes Kenya’s friendship and loves her, and she’s sorry if it didn’t come off that way. Nene asks if Kenya is going to come to the commercial shoot and she says she’ll be supportive.

Peter asks Matt what he does. He’s a personal trainer and also a veteran. The guys make fun of Matt’s age — which is 28, so he’s not a baby and he certainly doesn’t act as immature as these idiots — and then Peter wonders why he’s not super sociable. Peter continues to act like a jerk and Matt finally gets up and walks away. Peter says something about him walking a girl walk and makes fun of him. I hate Peter.

Kim isn’t with the ladies and they start talking about her husband. They all agree he has a lot of personality. Kenya brings up that there are rumors that he’s gay and he’s called Chrissie behind the scenes, and they’re also called Tootie and Fruitie. Cynthia wants no part of this and I don’t blame her. Nene says, well he does tap dance. So I guess that must mean he’s gay. Another what? I’m in agreement with Sheree (another first) when she says they shouldn’t be talking about Kim and her husband when neither one of them is there to defend themselves. Geez. I don’t know which group is more childish, the men or the women.

Chris has left Jamaica because he has to get back to work, so Kim leaves the kids with their nanny. All of the pre-production has been done, so all they have to do is shoot. Kim gets to the location first. Everyone marvels at what a beautiful day it is and they’re right. The water and the sky are incredibly blue. Cynthia is wearing a blue flowing caftan and looks amazing in the shots.

On the bus to the shoot, Phaedra asks about Matt and Kenya’s spa date. It was some kind of couples thing, so of course Phaedra has to talk nasty. She tries to put Matt on the spot. Why?

Cynthia and Malorie are doing some shots of putting on and taking off the glasses. The premise is that life is better with the glasses on. Totally unoriginal and I’d rather watch John Carpenter’s They Live. Rain clouds start to come up. They get the shot before it starts to get dark.

Kim says it’s going to pass. The bus arrives with the rest of the girls. There are some kind of little paddle boats and Kenya goes out on one with Matt. Nene passes out a bunch of accessories to the girls that are going to be in the commercial. I guess Kenya took a pass. Kim directs everyone in a scene where they pretend to be fans of Cynthia. Lightening starts to happen way out on the water.

Kenya and Matt come back. Cynthia is annoyed because Kenya isn’t acting like much of a friend for all her whining. Matt tells Kenya about Peter and the others causing him grief.

Peter says let’s have a wrap party. A rainbow happens and everyone takes it as a sign.

Porsha’s whatever, Oliver, shows up. They’d met on the Miami trip, but she hasn’t seen him since. He pretends to be interested in what she has to say. He asks what the plans are and she tells him about the wrap party. She shows him his room and they flirt.

Porsha introduces Oliver at the party, which is in some bar. They have champagne and appetizers. Kenya shows up, and she and Matt order drinks at the bar. Peter talks smack about Matt’s age. Phaedra acts like being by herself is tough. Kenya joins the ladies.

Phaedra asks why Matt is sitting alone and Kenya says the guys kind of hazed him the night before and it got old quickly. Suddenly, Matt is playing pool with the guys and all is good. It’s like Potomac deja vu.

Cynthia thanks everyone and says she wishes Chris could have been there. Everyone talks about how cool, talented and hilarious Chris is until Sheree puts the kibosh on that and tells Kim the girls were talking gay talk about Chris.

Next time, gay rumors continue, Aunt Bertha is back and the girls climb a waterfall.

The Walking Dead

When we last left, the church tower had fallen, the zombies had busted in and Alexandria was a mess.

Daryl is driving back to Alexandria with Abe and Sasha in the back seat. They’re waylayed by a motorcycle gang. The leader tells them to drop their weapons because their weapons are Negan’s weapons. They’re outnumbered and turn over the guns.

Sasha asks who they are. The leader (is he Negan?) says they have questions too and they’ll be asking them when they drive Daryl and crew back where they belong. First, he wants to know about what else they have, since there’s always more. Abe asks who Negan is. The leader gets defensive and weird, and says they’ll drive them back to where they came from, but don’t ask questions in the meantime.

The leader cocks his gun and Sasha tells him he doesn’t have to shoot them. He says he’s not going to kill them, then says he is, then everything blows up. It’s Daryl with a serious weapon and he’s just blown the whole lot of the motorcycle guys away. Daryl gets back in the truck with Abe and Sasha. It looks like those motorcycle guys are dead, but I have the feeling we haven’t seen the last of them.

Alexandria is total chaos.. The core group led by Rick has put entrails and blood on themselves so they can wander among the zombies.

Rick gathers the group and gives them instructions on splitting up and reconvening. Jessie doesn’t think they can make it with Judith, but Father Gabriel promises to keep her safe. Oh yeah, that’s just the guy I’d leave my baby with. Jessie tries to palm Sam off on Gabriel too, but Sam swears he can deal. Gabriel goes off to the church with Judith and Jessie reassures Rick that it will be okay.

Carol, Morgan, Eugene and Rosita are holed up in a brownstone. The Wolf and Denise watch the zombies from behind a wrought iron fence in a stairwell. Glenn is looking for guns and ammo at the church. Enid tells him that he’d said if you run, that’s how you lose people, even the ones who are already gone and asks him what it means. He says the people you love are always inside of you, and if you lose yourself, you lose them. They tell each other who the important people in their lives were and waste valuable time.

The Wolf tells Denise he needs her. She says she’ll just slow him down.

Enid says she wants to help Glenn get Maggie over the wall to safety. She finds the gun that Glenn has been looking for.

The Wolf says Denise was right, he wasn’t born this way, he changed. Lady Gaga’s song plays in my head. He says he wants to help her change. He says she’ll see one day that they’ve been given a gift.

It’s nighttime. Rick and company are still wandering about with the zombies. The worst thing about all of it is how I have to try and remember the minor characters names again. Sam isn’t being as cool as he thought he was going to be and starts to freak. Jessie tells him to come on. Great. He’s frozen and starting to cry and he’s going to get everyone killed. Nope, he just got himself killed. Good riddance. You were just a hindrance anyway. Carl pulls Jessie away, but it doesn’t work and she gets eaten too. Good. That will teach you to slow everyone down. She’s still hanging onto Carl and Rick hacks her arm off. Okay. That was a good one.

He and Carl get the blip out of there. That other crummy kid (Ron?) holds a gun on them but Michonne machetes him from behind. Are all the losers gone now. Carl keels over. Geez. Michonne hacks their way to safety.

Eugene ponders a very large knife. He says sooner or later, they’re fighting their way out. Rosita basically calls him a chicken and says they will, but he won’t.

The Wolf gives hindsight suggestions about fighting the zombies. He tells Denise they’re going to find a gap and go over the wall. He says it’s safer out there than where they are and to start moving and not stop. The go. The Wolf does some excellent head stabbing. Denise tells him if they can get to the infirmary, she can save his life. They change direction.

Morgan asks Carol about her child and husband. He says he had to stop her and she says she should have killed him. He says she can’t, but I dunno, I’ve seen her do it.

Denise and the Wolf book it to the infirmary. They don’t make it though, since Carol shoots the Wolf from a rooftop. Great timing, Carol. Denise goes running into the brownstone. Rick comes in next with Carl in his arms and Michonne following. I think Carl has lost an eye. Denise yells for supplies.

Rick parts the curtain and sees the place is surrounded by zombies. Since he’s out of his mind, he takes an ax and goes outside.

Commercial break. 10 Cloverfield Lane looks well worth seeing. It looks like John Goodman does some good work in it.

Rick is going crazy on the zombies. This is really going to help Carl tremendously if Rick gets himself killed. Good thing these zombies only come after you one at a time. Michonne goes out and starts machete-ing zombies. Others who are holed up in various places come out and start killing zombies too.

Father Gabriel, who is with a small band of people at the church, says God will save Alexandria because God has given them the courage to save it themselves.

Carol and company head out. Rosita tells Eugene he doesn’t have to go, and he makes a mini-speech about how no one gets to clock out today and this is the story people are going to tell.

Everyone gets to zombie killing, even Morgan.

Maggie is still stuck up in that cage, but the base is getting shaky from the zombies screwing with it. Glenn fights off the zombies while Enid goes up to get Maggie. Oops! Glenn is overpowered and both girls are stuck. Abe and Sasha come to the rescue with machine guns. Miraculously, all the bullets miss Glenn.

Glenn gets into the gasoline truck with Daryl. Daryl gets out of the truck and starts pouring the gas out. I hope he gives the live people a heads up before he sets that on fire. He sets a pond ablaze and the zombies seems drawn to it, although why is a good question, since as far as I know, this has never happened before.

Everyone is beating the crap out of the zombies, including Eugene, while other zombies walk into the flaming water.

The streets of Alexandria are full of the dead walking dead. The live survivors survey the damage, while Denise tends to their wounds. Rick says, “that was rough,” and I literally lol.

Rick is all proud of what they can do if they work together. He says they’ll rebuild the walls and expand them. He gives unconscious Carl a big speech about having a feeling of being able to make a new world. He begs Carl to come back.

Carl’s fingers close over Rick’s hand.

Next time, more zombie trouble with some Negan on the side.

Dec19

December 18, 2015 — GH, No GH, Mini Chefs & Friday Night Zombies

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital — Thursday

Alexis asks Molly to try and be nice to Julian when they’re at the Nutcracker Gala. Molly tries to get out of going by saying she needs to look after Sam. Alexis says Sam can look after herself just fine.  Mystery occasional daughter Christina arrives.

There’s something wrong with the mic system at the gala. Tracy is worried that no one will hear Paul’s speech. Little hearts pop out of her eyes like in the Pepe LePew cartoons.

Franco sees Elizabeth at the hospital and he ducks. Then he asks if she’d go to the gala with him.

Robin tells nice dude Henrico that he’s the first guard who’s ever been nice to her and maybe she can return the favor. Wet blanket Jerry Jax comes in the room.

Anna tells Patrick that they might be on a wild goose chase. He says he doesn’t think so because of the necklace. She says maybe the Cassadines planted it on purpose just to throw them off.

Tracy asks Nina if she’s seen Dillon. Nina says no, but he’s supposed to be working the gala for Crimson.

Dillon sees Maxie outside. They start reminiscing about Georgie.

Elizabeth says she’s not going to the gala with or without Franco. He says he’s not asking her out on a date. He needs to be there for work. He asks if she’s afraid she’ll run into Jason and she says he’d hardly be at a function like that.

Carly checks Jason into the hotel and says let’s get a drink.

Robert says that the WSB has been monitoring the Cassadines. Patrick asks what they know and who has Robin. Anna asks if it’s Jerry Jax.

Henrico tells Jerry he was just about to kill her and Jerry says hurry up then. Jerry also says both Patrick and Anna aren’t far away. Jerry tells Henrico to execute the plan and Robin and don’t make a mess. Robin tries to get Jerry to change his mind to no avail.

Henrico says there’s nothing he can do, so don’t ask. Robin says he’s wrong. There is one last thing.

Christina asks Sam prying questions about her love life. Christina says exams ended early and Alexis says good, she can go to the gala too. Sam gets her jacket on and says she has a quick errand to run, but hopes everyone has a good time.

Christina asks Molly about their mother’s password. She says she doesn’t want to, but she has to hack into Alexis’s account.

Maxie and Dillon think about Georgie as they look up at the stars. Dillon gives Maxie and envelope. We don’t see it, but I assume a picture of Georgie is inside.

Franco tells Elizabeth that he knows she’s feeling all alone in the world right now and does she have a dress?

Carly asks if Jason wants a martini, but he says scotch will do the trick. She says she thinks she’ll join him. They drink to friendship. Jason tells her to go ahead and say she told him so. She says she had no idea Elizabeth knew all that time. He asks if she thinks it’s for the best, and she says Elizabeth always tried to turn him into the person she needed and he’s not that person. Jason says he wasn’t ready to listen before, but who’s he supposed to be? Carly says he has to figure it out for himself.

Henrico is listening to opera and Robin makes chitchat about it. She says her family traveled all the way to Pars and she can’t bear for them not to know what happened. Henrico says there’s nothing he can do. She asks if he was named for the guy in the opera who was a hero and tells him he needs to do the right thing.

Patrick says the last time Emma and Robin talked, it wasn’t their regular time and he thinks Robin was trying to tell them something.

Christina is working the laptop like a boss and thinks up a password I never would have. She looks at Alexis’s email and Molly reads something about disciplinary action with Christina at school. Christina deletes it before she can finish and says why ruin Christmas?

Maxie says she was going to visit Georgie’s memorial stone, but this is better. She asks if Dillon ever talks to Georgie. She says she does and it helps and hurts at the same time. Dillon says he thinks of both the high and low points of their relationship and it was everything. Maxie says she used to love the holidays, but now, not so much. Dillon identifies and so do I. Maxie says this year she has to work and they’d better get going before Nina sends out a search party.

Sam wants to leave something for Patrick at the hospital, but is told he’s on a leave of absence. Elizabeth pops out asking what does she expect, since she turned everyone’s lives upside down. Boo! Hiss!

Carly says normally she likes to interfere, but Jason should trust himself and that he has good instincts. Jason balks and Carly points out instances in the past seven months when he’s used them.

Patrick’s phone rings and it’s Robin. She says her neighbor told her he was looking for her. She finds out that Emma is there too. Robin says good-by and says she’s off to Elysium.

Alexis asks what’s going on and Christina says something about needing the computer for school work. When she goes back upstairs, Molly asks what kind of trouble Christina is in. Christina avoids the question.

Carly asks Jason to come to the gala. She says neither Elizabeth nor Sam will be there. She says he and Sonny can be miserable together. He says he only has a duffel bag of jeans and T-shirts, but Carly says she can set him up with one phone call.

Elizabeth, who apparently has no idea why Patrick is away, gives Sam a humongous lecture on how it’s her fault. Sam says for 7 months, she kept Jason’s identity while everyone else suffered. Elizabeth says that Sam is worse, pretending to love Patrick while really wanting Jason.

Robin tells Patrick she loves him and Henrico takes the phone. Impatient Jerry pops in again and says if you want a job done right, do it yourself. Henrico says he doesn’t know what to do about the lab. Jerry says he’ll do that part and Henrico takes Robin out of the lab. She says now they can escape and he needs to live up to his name as a hero. He says endings aren’t always happy and grabs her arm to take her down the hallway.

Patrick asks if Elysium is code for something. Robert says maybe, but Anna says it means “heaven.”

Sam goes home to Alexis’s, who looks absolutely amazing in a navy blue formal gown. Alexis says Sam looks like she wants to punch something and Sam tells her about running into Elizabeth. She also tells Alexis about Patrick and says she can’t figure it out. The ladies all leave for the gala.  Sam sees that Alexis forgot her check, but it’s too late, she’s gone. Fastest pulling out of a driveway ever.

Nina explains how she wants the guests’ pictures taken (in a bower of white branches) to Dillon. She chastises Dillon and Maxie for being late. Maxie says they’re here now and has Dillon take Nina’s photo.

Carly shows up at the gala with Jason. Monica says it’s great to see them. Carly says she left her phone at the bar and Jason goes back to get it. Monica thanks Carly for getting him there.

Franco and Elizabeth arrive. Franco says he’s proud of her for facing her challenges. He rambles and she tells him to stop talking.

Anna wonders if Robin knows they’re here. Robert says she isn’t in the compound anymore but is on the island and they’re going to have to hurry. Patrick wants to go with them. Robert says it’s dangerous, but there really isn’t much argument. Oh, yay, a hero moment for the lip gloss king.

Monica asks where Paul is and Tracy says he must have gotten tied up, but he’ll be there. Monica says she has to admit, the artwork from Ava is top-notch, but she still didn’t invite her. Alexis gets there and realizes she forgot the check. While she runs out, Christina makes sure her phone doesn’t have the message from the school

Maxie says Nina is really getting the hang of things. Franco shows up and says that Nina looks more beautiful every time he sees her. He says he brought a colleague.

Sam shows up with the check and sees Elizabeth. Jason sees the both of them. Soap opera faces all around.

The Scorpios get their old moves back and bust into the lab. With Anna and Robert’s guns drawn on Jerry, Patrick backs him up against the wall. Jerry says they’re too late, Robin is dead.

Monday – the Nutcracker Gala and more Scorpio fun!

General Hospital — Friday

I started typing until I realized they’re repeating the Thanksgiving episode. What ? Why? My only guess is that they got scared. When I turned it on, George Stephanopoulos was talking. I have no idea about what, since I was cursing him and my life at that moment, but then he went away. Whatever it was must have scared ABC into showing a repeat because they feared the viewers’ wrath should there have been  a total preemption. Better to just put the show off totally.

Master Chef Junior

I always preface this with how I don’t say much about this show because I’m snarky and mocking children isn’t my thing. I do love this show though, and Gordon Ramsey rocks. It’s nice to see his kinder, gentler side.

Tonight, the kids have to recreate a dish that they’ll be tasting while blindfolded. This is tough when the adults do it, never mind someone whose palate hasn’t been around the world yet. Oh, and they have 60 minutes to do it.

The team challenge, with the captains being the winners of the taste challenge, is to run a restaurant. Again this is similar to the adult version of either Master Chef or Hell’s Kitchen. They both blend in together after a while.  One team has ingredients from New England and the other, New Mexico.  I always feel bad for whoever’s picked last when it’s a team challenge.

A whole bunch of grandmas – and I mean that literally – are the judges, so I’m thinking maybe they’ll go easy on the kids, but then again, maybe not. It all looks good to me.

Speaking of Hell’s Kitchen, it’s premiering January 15.

The blue team wins, with Addy heading them once again. I predict her for the win.

Don’t worry kids who went home – one of whom was a surprise to me – I can barely get a buffet for 15 catered, never mind cook for an entire restaurant. Job more than well done!

Next week, Graham dresses like a chicken  and eggs are involved.

Z Nation

Citizen Z is trying to contact Addy. Or anybody for that matter. He’s down to his last battery. He’s desperate to tell them to abort the mission because the location has been compromised. The battery runs out and he throws the laptop away.

Vasquez and Roberta have gone inside the renegade diner. Roberta takes some tea from the woman behind the counter. Vasquez passes, but they signal for the others to come in. The counter lady talks about the diner and asks what it’s like out there.

Doc says all Zs. She asks if there’s anywhere safe, and Roberta says a few places, but not many. A car pulls up and it’s nothing good. It’s a bunch of guys from Deliverance and they ask for liquor. They ask if the woman’s name is Annie and when she says yes, the head guy says she’s the one who knows about The Murphy. They want the bounty.

Main dude buys a round of drinks for everyone. (Does anyone use money? What do they use?) The guy says they have The Murphy sedated and show them a zombie on a leash. Obviously not Murphy. Murphy is dressed like a woman with a scarf over his face. When head dude asks for a dance he pretends to be shy. Head dude throws something at Murphy and all the guns come out.

He says he’s noticed the real Murphy and his Murphy move at the same time. He’s getting suspicious about Murphy and while he’s talking his own zombie takes a bite out of him. There’s a mini shoot out and Annie stops it with her own gun. She sees that Muphy is the real deal

10K has been shot. Annie goes outside and fires a flare to contact Dr. Merch and what’s left of the CDC lab. 10K is losing a lot of blood. Murphy asks questions about where Dr. Merch has been hiding, but Annie says it’s classified.

Citizen Z packs up a sled, along with Pup, and says they’re not coming back.

A military team approaches the diner. Roberta asks Murphy if he’s ready. He says no, but when has that ever mattered? Roberta tells the lieutenant that Murphy is there. The Lt calls him “The Murphy” and Murphy says he doesn’t know where the “The” came in.  10K is taken out on a stretcher. Roberta tells the lieutenant to treat Murphy humanely. He say’s they’ll treat him like the celebrity he’s about to become. Addy says don’t forget the little people. Doc wants to go with 10K, but there isn’t enough room.

I don’t like this one bit.

Murphy tells Vasquez he’s sorry about Vasquez’s family. Doc says no good-by? Murphy holds out his hand, but Doc hugs him. Murphy gives Doc an Ace playing card and Doc gives Murphy a z-weed joint.  Murphy says good-by to Roberta. He says who knows, maybe he’ll actually do something good and she says they’re counting on him.

The caravan leaves. They start to clean up, but as Doc is removing a body, a shot hits it. Operation Bite Mark duck for cover. It’s the Zeros shooting up the place. We hear La Reina calling Roberta to come and get some mercy.

She’s looking pretty jacked up, hair all crazy and fire in her eyes. A gun battle ensues and La Reina tells her troops to advance. Annie, who’s pretty mean with a gun herself, calls everyone inside. La Reina has Dr. Kurian’s head in a box. When he starts being annoying, she closes the box. She looks through the site of her gun for Roberta.

Annie shows OBM her arsenal. She says she’s low on ammo, but they can give them hell in the meantime. It’s suddenly quiet, which Roberta says worries her more.

Murphy is on a submarine along with 10K, who is wheeled into surgery. They tell Murphy 10K is in good hands and he continues with Dr. Merch and the lieutenant. The doctor asks if Murphy has had any side effects, and Murphy says he is a walking side effect. The lieutenant talks about the development of a whole new world and tells Murphy that Zona (a reference to another episode) is not only real, it’s the future. At the beginning of the apocalypse, some businessmen and scientists created a new world on a zombie free island. Murphy notices that some of the crew have funny eyes. He says if they’re going to save the human race, they’d better get to it.

La Reina says she just wants Murphy. Roberta says too late, he’s gone. Vasquez tries to shoot La Reina, but misses. The back row of troops runs swords through the front row and uses them as shields like Uma Thurman in whichever Kill Bill movie that was.

Annie  gets shot and turns into a zombie. After a small tussle, Doc gives her mercy.

The Zeros are getting in.

Back at the sub, the doctor is preparing Murphy for giving some blood samples for tests. He asks her what the deal is with the crews’ eyes. She said it was a side effect of one of the early vaccines given to people on Zona . She says that some of the earliest people are losing their immunity and turning. She says that’s why they need him, especially the founder of Zona. He says he thought the vaccine was for everybody, and the doctor is a little vague in that it sounds like maybe when they get around to it, the peons will get a turn. Dr. Merch asks questions about childhood diseases and the usual medical background. When she asks id he has children, Murphy says that’s kind of personal and doesn’t answer.

Murphy asks for privacy, and Dr. Merch asks the guards to leave. When they’re gone, Murphy turns on her. He says he doesn’t want to be a blood bag for some billionaires when he traveled all that way and went through so much to save all of humanity.

It doesn’t look good for OBM. A big Zero dude is swinging around a mean looking weapon. Roberta shoots, but she’s out of bullets and the gun just makes that clicking sound. We both say, oh sh*t. Addy tries to fight him, but he breaks her weapon and hits her with his. While she’s down, she still has enough strength to hit him where it counts. In the meantime Roberta has reloaded and shoots him.

La Reina come drags her sorry self over to Roberta. She says it’s good to see her and can they talk like sisters. She says she’s unarmed and it’s not too late for Roberta to  be her right hand. She asks Roberta to help her find Murphy. Roberta says the CDC has him. La Reina says that was a big mistake.  They go head to head and it’s a pretty good fight scene. Again very Tarantino.

Finally Roberta is down and La Reina is standing over her, but Escorpion runs her through with a sword. What?

Citizen Z is pulling the sled with Pup in it through the snow. He doesn’t look too good. I’m always worried about him and Pup.

Roberta comes too and can’t believe Escorpion is there. Vasquez knocks him in the head and Roberta says he saved her life. Addy is surprised he’d kill his queen. He says she wasn’t human anymore. He says he won’t rob Vasquez of his revenge and he’s not afraid to die. He apologizes for killing Vasquez’s family and says he realized it was the worst thing he ever did and he wanted to die too. The rest of OBM leave the room so Vasquez can make his decision. They hear a gunshot and Escorpion comes out. They run in and Vasquez is sitting at the bar. He says he couldn’t do it and Roberta says she’s glad for him.

He’s looking at a picture of his wife and daughter. He says his mission is over. Roberta says it’s time to say good-by. Oh come on. Say something. She leaves and tells the others that Vasquez is alive, but he’s not coming with them. Doc asks what they’re doing now and Roberta says she doesn’t know.

An alarm is sounding on the sub. 10K is alone and gets off of the examining table.

Escorpion pulls up alongside OBM he asks if they need a ride. He says he’s got enough food, ammo and z-weed for a month. Addy tells Roberta they can always kill him and steal the truck. She’s kidding. I hope.

Vasquez is just sitting by himself looking at the picture. He rolls his bandana and puts it around his head. He leaves the diner to face a crowd of zombies and begins shooting and running.

Doc says he hates to admit it but he misses Murphy. Escorpion says he didn’t know him long, but Murphy seemed like kind of a dick.

They get to a cliff and look out to the ocean. The sub is burning. A small boat is jetting across the water from it. Doc looks through binoculars, and sees Murphy, but not 10K. The sub blows up. Addy starts to freak.

Some military planes fly overhead and Doc says they don’t look American. Roberta says, they’re not, and a bunch of military guys with guns pop out of the woods.

We get closer to the boat. Murphy is controlling it, as he’s bitten the lieutenant and Dr. Merch. 10K is playing the part of a soldier in a helmet.

Nooo! Citizen Z is conscious, but frozen in his tracks. He sees someone coming toward him, but does he really?

In the final reel, we see Murphy’s daughter who, no surprise, is growing like a weed. She’s controlling her foster parents who have now been turned into hybrid zombies.

While Z Nation will be back next year (they didn’t exactly say when), why must we have these hiatuses? I wish we could just go back to normal TV seasons where we were on a school year schedule and we had the summer off.

Dec7

December 6,2015 — No Dead, But an Eclectic Night

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

When we left the…um…ladies, a fight was brewing between Cynthia and Porsha. We now move to fingers in the face. Porsha makes a weird, aggressive move, putting her foot up on Cynthia’s lounge chair and straddling her. Cynthia responds by kicking Porsha In the stomach. Porsha lunges for Cynthia and is held back by the crew or security or whoever. Kandi, coming back from the bathroom, is just like, whaaat?

In her individual interview, Kim says that she has a low tolerance for foolishness. Her and me both. This might be the wrong show for her with this crowd.

Porsha is squeaky screaming and Kenya says that Porsha can’t control herself, the disagreement always has to escalate to violence. Kenya wants Porsha and her buddy off the boat. Bye, Felicia!

Cynthia calls Peter. She says he’s still her rock. Really? She tells him she needs for him to come home, and he says he will.

Kim is pretty appalled. In her individual interview, she says that the worst part is how disappointed they’re both going to be in themselves after they catch a breath. I doubt Porsha knows that emotion.

Porsha is tucked into her chaise lounge at home, with her court of yes men girlfriends around her. She shows some bruises, but it looks like she got them from the guy who had to tackle her. Maybe Cynthia shouldn’t have kicked her one, but she shouldn’t have come up on Cynthia so aggressively. Especially considering her past. She makes noises about being supportive of Cynthia and “dumbing [herself] down.” I’m quite sure she’s so dumb she doesn’t know what that means.

Porsha starts to get loud and squeaky again. She’s rambling about Peter and what she knows. Come on, she doesn’t know anything everyone else doesn’t already.  Including an audience of millions.

Kim and Phaedra meet at a juice bar. Kim is not too happy that the boat ride turned out the way it did. She says she should have opted out like Phaedra did. She said she was just looking forward to a nice ride with her book and her snack. Ha!

Kenya is telling her friends, as Kandi is telling her staff, about the altercation. Phaedra says she saw bruises and cuts, but again, I don’t think that was from Cynthia. Kim says it’s being analyzed like the JFK assassination.  Kenya’s aunt suggests she get the girls together to smooth things over. I think her aunt is crazy. Phaedra says she told Kim it was a wild bunch.

Peter arrives home. Bleh. I can’t stand him. Cynthia says she keeps thinking of how she could have changed the situation, and Peter keeps saying all the wrong things. Her rock. Peter says Cynthia needs to forget about Porsha and examine how she feels about herself. I’m sure what he really means is to think about him.He says he wants to work things out and they get lovey-dovey. How long this will last, who knows.

Kandi has a doctor’s appointment. She goes to Dr. Jackie from Married to Medicine. Kandi is nearly halfway through the pregnancy. Dr. Jackie listens for the baby’s heartbeat. Todd suddenly has to make a call and Kandi is like, really? It couldn’t wait until after the appointment? Dr. Jackie finds the baby’s heartbeat and they look on the sonogram screen. Todd comes back in and they try to fool him into thinking the umbilical cord is something else. Ha-ha! They can’t tell yet though, if it’s a boy or girl.

Phaedra says that her focus has been on the kids. They seem pretty well adjusted considering Apollo’s fall from grace and back into prison. Phaedra whines about being a single mother, but it doesn’t look like she’s hurting any.

Cynthia calls Kenya. Kenya jokes about Cynthia’s Kung Fu Panda moment. Cynthia says she feels awful. Kenya says she wants to give a brunch to get things back on track. Cynthia thinks maybe it’s too soon. Kenya says the problem with her and Porsha is that they waited too long to address things. She might have a point, but it’s empty-headed Porsha we’re talking about. Kenya says if she was able to get past things with Porsha, Cynthia should be able to. Cynthia says, in thinking about it, she may have overreacted.

Kenya wants to meet with Porsha privately before the brunch. They meet at a little coffee/dessert bar. Porsha asks what’s up. Like she doesn’t know. Oh, wait, it’s Porsha. Maybe she doesn’t. Kenya says they once had their own altercation and what happened on the boat didn’t sit well with anyone. Porsha tries to act like it’s somebody else’s fault and talks about Kenya throwing shade at her friend, Shemia.

Kenya  says Porsha never takes responsibility for her actions. She tries telling Porsha that, considering their history, she could see how Porsha looked like the aggressor. Porsha says she doesn’t trust Kenya and she doesn’t need to justify her actions to anyone. She says she’ll be glad to talk to Cynthia, but it was just one of those things that snowballed. She gets angry that Kenya is telling her the truth, because she’s stupid and vain. She’s about to run from the situation, when Kenya calls a time out and says she should just tell Cynthia they were both wrong. They clink smoothie take-out cups.

Kandi and Kim are first to arrive at the brunch. Everyone else is late. Kim is annoyed and I don’t blame her. Phaedra strolls in, calling it a “unity luncheon.”  Kandi still isn’t sure if Phaedra is being genuine with her. Cynthia is feeling embarrassed and uncomfortable. Kim is like, let’s just say it, and asks Cynthia how it’s going. Kenya and Porsha come in together.

Kenya says she wanted to bring them together because of what happened. Kim says, being new, she doesn’t have a side, but it’s important to have clarity to move forward. Porsha and Cynthia decide to talk privately. Kim says she hopes they come back in one piece. Ha-ha!

Cynthia asks Porsha if she’s okay. Porsha says yes, but emotionally, she’s hurt.

Kenya says her talk with Porsha didn’t go well, and Kandi says Kenya seems to be good at pointing out other people’s flaws, but her own, not so much. Phaedra suggest that Jesus take the wheel , and drive fast. Kenya says she was just trying to be a grown up and help make things right.

Porsha says she’s sincere in wanting to move forward and feels Cynthia is sincere too. They hug it out. When they come back, applause all around.

Next week, Atlanta is in the Miami house! Oh wow, it looks like there will be another strange-men-in-the-house situation. Like there was with the New York Wives, except this looks more serious. And speaking of Miami, are those Wives ever coming back? I noticed they snuck in a Real Housewives of Cheshire on Saturday afternoon. Trial run?

Once Upon a Time

Hook is flashing back to his childhood, where his father wasn’t such a nice guy and he got sold into slavery. Mr. Gold/Rumpelstiltskin has Excalibur.

Dark Emma says the man she loved died in Camelot and all that’s left is the darkside. She and the others are splitting up to find Hook.

Zelena pops in poof! in front of Robin and Regina. She wants to discuss her daughter with her baby daddy, Robin. She says they’ll all be dead soon, so it won’t matter anyway. Two hooded figures come up behind Robin and Regina. At the same time, hooded figures surround the other groups. One walks through Henry.

Rumpel appears out of nowhere and tells them to look at their wrists. They have the mark of Charon, an old guy who runs a ferry to the underworld. Rumpel says the underworld is a worse place than even fire and brimstone. He tells them to use their time wisely, to say good-bye. DUN-DUN-DUNNN!

Regina finds Hook by the water. BTW, his first name is Killian. Regina says he might be the dark one now, but he’s not the same guy he was when they first met. He says she has no idea what kind of man he is. And he doesn’t mean that in a good way.

He flashes back to when Enchanted Forest Regina recruited him to kill her mother. In exchange, she promised to send him to a land with no magic so he could get his revenge on Rumpelstiltskin.

Henry looks through a spell book, hoping for something to counteract the curse they’re under. They decide to gather at Granny’s diner. They leave Dark Emma to continue searching. She tells Regina if she can destroy the dark ones, they’ll all be spared. Dark Emma reminds her of when she said they have to do whatever it takes to get rid of the darkness. Regina says it has to be put into someone, a sacrifice. Dark Emma says it will be herself.

Belle meets Rumpel at the shop. He tells her to go see the world and fulfill her dreams. He tells her to take the car, say good-bye to her father, and start living. She says she knew there was a hero inside him and they say good-bye.

Regina and Dark Emma enter the shop. He tells them to go away. Regina says no way, there are a lot of people in the underworld who would like to see the both of them. She tells Rumpel that Emma wants to take the darkness into herself, which will destroy the darkness – and her. Rumpel gives them Excalibur. For nothing, which is a surprise. Doesn’t magic always come with a price? He says it might not work because the blade chooses who it finds worthy. Regina says, later. She has to help Robin protect the baby from Zelena.

In the old days, Regina and Hook stop at a tavern. Someone yells pirates aren’t welcome. Hook turns to face them.

Robin and Regina come home to find Zelena looking at color swatches to redecorate their house. She says in an hour, they’ll be dead, and she’s moving in. Zelena says last time Regina tried to use the dagger it didn’t work. Regina says that’s because she didn’t believe in herself and says let’s take it outside. They go to the clock tower, and Regina uses the power of the dagger to blow Zelena back to Oz.

Dark Emma goes to the diner and silently says good-bye to her family. A dark figure tells Hook he knows what he needs to do.

Old days Hook reveals himself to his father at the tavern. His father is surprised he’s alive and he says they both cheated death. Hook wants to know why he was sold into servitude. His father says he met a woman who helped him see the error of his ways and wishes he’d known her back in the day. He says he’s sorry. Hook wants to know where she is.

Hook’s father says that she died. Hook says he came there to kill him, but they’ve both suffered enough already. He says he can arrange a letter of transit and transport for his father, but can’t come along. His father asks if he can arrange transport for two because he has another son.

Storybrooke Hook stops Dark Emma from leaving. He says he’s saving her because she made him the man he always wanted to be. She says she’s sorry, but she couldn’t watch another person she loved die. He says now she’ll watch everyone die. She brandishes Excalibur, but sees Henry who takes the sword from her. Poof! in a cloud of red smoke, he turns into Hook. She tells him please, don’t do this, but he says nope, he is, and poof! he disappears in another cloud of red smoke.

Snow finds a note from Dark Emma on the diner jukebox. Belle appears and says Hook has already stopped her and there’s no way to prevent their trip to the underworld.

Everyone appears in a forest, where there are a bunch of dark, hooded figures hanging around, along with Hook. Dark Emma runs out of the forest to join them. Regina says Hook can’t do this and he has to ask himself the same question he did on the night they don’t speak of: what kind of man do you want to be?

Hook’s stepbrother tells his father he doesn’t want to leave. Hook’s father says they’ll be fine and he’ll never leave him. Hook is outside and says that his father is telling his stepbrother the same lie he told him. He kills his father with his hook. The last thing his father says is that he can always change.

A hooded figure says it’s time. Dark Emma tries to stop things and suddenly chokes. The figure says maybe she can’t kill Dark Emma but she can stop her. Dark Emma keeps choking and Hook says enough. He pulls the Excalibur card and black snaky things come out and make the hooded people disappear.

He says the darkness won’t stay in Excalibur much longer and tells Dark Emma to take it from him and let him take on the darkness because her family needs her. She doesn’t want to do it, but he wants to die a hero. She takes the sword. She tells Hook she loves him and then – is she supposed to stab him with it or what? Yes, she is. And she does. Lots of tears. I’d cry too, but it’s all more confusing than anything else.

They all pop back to Storybrooke and voila! everything is cool again. Excalibur turns to dust. Wait, not so cool. Hook just keeled over.

The EMTs (God only knows what they must be thinking) cover Hook’s face over and put him in the ambulance.

Rumpel  is having a drink (what does he need one for?) in the shop. Belle comes in, says Henry told her everything, and gives him a big kiss. (I guess because he handed over Excalibur?) She says she wanted to see the world, but with him. While Belle is sleeping, he puts on his Mission Impossible clothes. He gets a text from Emma, who’s in the shop.

Rumpel is like, this isn’t the diner, you people have to stop just showing up. Emma says the dagger called to her and she knows he has it. She says he must be the dark one. When Hook thought he was destroying the darkness, he was only moving it. Rumpel says things are as they should be now.

Emma tries to throw some magic at him, but he says he has all the magic of all the dark ones who ever lived. Emma says she still has magic and he has to do something for her. Rumpel says why should he? And Emma says she’ll tell Belle who he really is if he doesn’t.

Rumpel opens the door to the underworld for Emma and the others. It’s pretty cool looking. Kind of like a pretty swamp with blue lighting. Here comes that guy in the boat. Don’t they have to answer three questions or something? Or was that just in Monty Python and the Holy Grail?

They get ready to board the boat.

On March 6, the story of Storybrooke takes place in the underworld and the quest to find Hook is on.

No Walking Dead tonight. There’s a marathon of Into the Badlands instead. I definitely give it a thumbs up.

Work Out New York

Just a first impression. Hot trainers with egos the size of the state of Rhode Island, but who are also insecure. I’m in! But, hey, what ever happened to Jackie What’s-her-name and that other workout show? She was pretty interesting.

Bad Words

Another quickie. I had never heard of this film and caught it on HBO today. It was on the TV when I came back from the store (yes, I leave it on for the dogs), and I just didn’t bother changing the channel. I’m glad I didn’t, because this was a terrific film.

In a nutshell, Jason Bateman is a 40-year-old guy who finds a loophole in a national spelling bee contest. (He has his reasons for wanting to be in it.) He enters the contest, competing against children. He befriends one of the kids, and they both grow in the process. It was heartwarming without being obnoxious, was well-written, and the acting was great. It was a unique story as well. I’m really glad I stumbled across it.