Category Archives: science fiction

Sep26

September 25, 2016 – Storybrooke is Back, Travis & Chris Part Ways, & New Jersey Goes to Vermont

Posted on September 26, 2016 by theresakp

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

Like Willy Wonka, I am striking that and reversing it on Sunday nights, and it’s zombies before Wives. Now that Once Upon a Time is back, I had to switch my TV viewing sequence around.

Once Upon a Time

We are in an Arabian kingdom, flying carpets and all. A man says the kingdom is in great danger and they need a savior, but the savior is not seeing anyone today. The man is persistent and Jafar pops out and turns him into dust, along with the woman who was fielding the savior’s visitors. Jafar tells the savior that when they met, he was a common thief, and the fate of saviors is to give, breaking off their branches until all that’s left is a shaky stump. He says you never hear the words “happily ever after” about a savior. It’s Aladdin he’s talking to and he tells him to take care.

Hook and Emma are making out on the couch. The earth moves, but not in a good way. They go outside and see a ship floating through the air – awesome! It’s a dirigible from The Land of Untold Stories. Hyde appears, tells everyone that it’s his and that The Dark One gave him the town.

Regina and Emma zap Hyde, but he just laughs. He says nothing is more dangerous than an untold story and the people who don’t want them told. The dirigible crashes in the forest.

Emma and the others check it out. Snow says it looks like the people inside ran. Jekyll says he may be able to salvage a weapon to take down the stranger. Emma has a vision about fighting someone. Hook asks her what’s up, but she says nothing.

Rumple looks for Hyde. He’s exchanged the keys to Storybrooke for the answer to waking Belle. Hyde has told him in the Temple of Morpheus there are sands that will allow him to walk in Belle’s dreams and he can wake her from there. Rumple uses the sand and meets Morpheus in the forest. He tells Rumple welcome to Belle’s dream world and asks if he’d like to wake her up.

Regina visits Zelena and tells her what happened with Hyde. Zelena suggests barbecuing Hyde and puts her daughter down for a nap. Regina says nothing is working and they need to plan. Zelena has an arrow feather from Robin for her, but can’t find it. Regina puts a protection spell over the house and the vault.

Snow tells Regina that Jekyll finished his weapon, so they might not have to worry about protection. Regina tells Snow about Zelena forgetting where she put the feather, which she thinks is odd behavior. She decides to forget about it for now, since heroism comes first.

Hyde is holed up at the town hall. Regina pretends to have Jekyll prisoner to lure him outside. She tells Hyde to leave town and Jekyll is his. He suggests she keep both Jekyll and Storybrooke, and not embarrass herself. She distracts him while Emma aims Jekyll’s weapon, which looks like a small mortar, but she has another vision. She starts to shake and Regina almost gets strangled by Hyde. Emma finally shoots and Hyde becomes their prisoner. He tells Emma that he knows more than she does, and if she wants to know what’s happening to her, she knows where to find him.

Emma is all weird and shaky, while she’s messing around the dirigible. Archie (otherwise known as Jiminy Cricket) and Pongo come by with coffee. Emma says her parents must have sent him and she’s not in the mood for therapy right now. He says she’s been fighting forever and now that the walls are down, it’s let in collateral damage. He says there are no short cuts to fixing the big problems.

Emma goes to see Hyde. He calls her a smart girl, and she says keep calling her girl and he’ll find out how smart she is. He wants her to take off the cuffs. He says prisoners respond to carrots and sticks and she has neither. She starts to leave and he says he knows about the battle in her mind’s eye. She tells him that she’s been in prison and the worst part was being alone. She says she knows how he feels, and he can spill the beans or stay lonely. He can sit there in silence and rot. Hyde says she did come with a stick after all and it’s impressive except for one small thing – she’s afraid of him. He tells her he brought someone to help her with her problem, and to follow the red bird. He wonders if she’s ready for her story though.

I swear Rumple just said Belle is dreaming about White Castle, but I guess he said the white castle. He and Morpheus go into the castle and Belle acts like a servant. Morpheus tells Rumple that’s how she sees herself in her dream and he’s a beast. Morpheus sets up a giant hourglass timer. He says if Rumple doesn’t wake Belle in an hour, she’ll end up with a fiery fate. Rumple says he’ll make her fall in love with him again.

Morpheus says the castle terrifies Belle, but Rumple says it’s also where they fell in love. He says his love for her and their child will never be a lie. Belle brings tea and Rumple comes out in full Rumple regalia. Belle is all nervous and drops a cup, but he says everything is cool and maybe she should take a break. She asks him what’s going on. He says he has a ball to attend later and he asks her to dance. They dance to the music from Beauty and the Beast. He says there’s one more thing they need and he zaps the yellow ballgown onto her. She asks what’s come over him, and he says maybe he’s tired of being a beast. Very nice scene.

Zelena comes to Regina’s house and asks her if she got Hyde. Regina says yes, but it’s the first time she’s been back since Robin died. She asks Zelena to go. Zelena says they should be helping each other, but Regina says not this time because she blames Zelena. Zelena says what about Emma, who dragged her to hell? Regina says she chose to go, but she trusted Zelena, and Robin’s soul was destroyed. Zelena says Regina ripped out the part of her that made them most alike. Zelena says she and the baby will be gone by tonight, and she disappears poof! in a puff of green smoke.

Snow and the gang look for the people from the dirigible. Snow can tell that they’re afraid. She calls to them, saying Hyde is locked up and they want to help. They see shadows of people with torches come out of the forest. Snow tells them they’ll be at Granny’s where there’s food and shelter for them.

Emma walks through the forest with Hook and sees the red bird. She asks him to go and he knows something is up, but leaves. Emma follows the red bird. She sees a girl who says the bird is her pet. She says she knows many things, including why Emma is there. She says the visions tell a story of her future.

Regina is doing a locator spell when Henry walks in. She’s trying to find the feather and Henry says it’s not working because it’s looking for Robin and he’s gone. Regina says Hades told her that Robin’s soul was destroyed, but Henry believes that he’s in a special place.

Belle and Rumple dance. She says it’s a shame he’s been alone for so long and he says he wasn’t always alone; there was a son who left because he saw the darkness. Rumple says he had a chance to change but was too frightened. Belle asks if he could change now, would he? He says for her, he would be the best man he could be. They kiss.

All of the memories come flooding back. Belle says they’ve done this before and she can’t do this again. He explains they fell in love and got married and now their child is in danger. She put herself to sleep, but he needs her to wake up now. She says she loves him and believes he loves her, but together they cause heartbreak. Morpheus pops in and says he had to be sure Belle wouldn’t fall for Rumple’s lies again. Now he can wake her up with true loves kiss. She says she doesn’t know him and he says she’s known him since the day he was conceived. He’s their son and it’s his dream too. He says don’t let Rumple destroy them like he did his lost family.

Morpheus gives Belle a kiss on the forehead and she wakes up. Belle tells Rumple that their son was testing her, pretending to be Morpheus. Rumple says they can discuss it at home and makes sparkly, blue swirly things in the mirror. Belle says her son gave her a warning and she’s going to listen, and walks into the mirror.

The girl says she’s called an oracle, but knowing the future is a heavy burden. Emma sees herself battling a hooded figure. The Storybrooke crew are running toward them as Emma’s sword gets knocked from her hand. She tells the hooded figure she’s not going to let them get hurt. Her hand starts to shake and he runs his sword through her. The oracle says this is just a small piece of her end story. She can change the destination, but the result will be the same. She’ll die in the battle she saw. Since no one really dies on this show, I wouldn’t be too worried.

Emma goes back to Hyde. She asks him what’s coming and how to stop it. She says no matter what, she’ll defeat it. He says that’s what saviors always say, but there’s always a villain to bring them down. She has to ask herself if helping others is what causes her story to end.

Emma joins Hook at the bar. He says she’s in a better mood, and she tells him it was just stress, and Archie helped her. He asks if she’s sure and she says she is, and joins him in having a drink.

Snow tells Regina it will work out. Snow takes Regina’s hand and Regina says she was an awful stepmother. Snow says that’s in the past. Regina asks how she held up during those terrible times. She says the only way she could stay alive was to never give up and Regina is the one who taught her that hope is a choice. Regina says Hades was wrong; Robin is at peace. She’s been thinking about how the people with untold stories were hiding, and she says that’s exactly what she used to do. Her life had stopped. The only story she heard was the one she told herself, that she was the evil queen. She forgot the most important thing, that life isn’t just one story, there’s many. To some, she’s a villain, but to others, she’s a hero. They see her strength and ability to do right, even when she thought she couldn’t. She’s going to start a new story and chooses to believe this story will have a better ending.than the last one.

They walk off together, and we see a feather drop to the ground.

The untold story people are at Granny’s getting clothing and food. Belle looks out from inside Mr. Gold’s shop. Emma is looking mighty shaky.

Zelena comes home and sees Regina. No, it’s the Evil Queen. She tells Zelena that all she ever wanted was a sister, and when she got her wish, it was the wrong one. Zelena is shocked the Evil Queen is alive and she says she can’t be gotten rid of that easily. The Evil Queen suggest they have a drink and that it’s time for some sisterly bonding.

This season, the secret of the savior is revealed, Cinderella joins the team, and the Evil Queen and Zelena join forces.

Fear the Walking Dead

A crowd of people beg to come into the hotel. Alicia says it’s a mistake, they don’t have anything. Madison says sorry. The people grab at the gate. There is shouting and crying. Madison sees Travis among them.

Poor Mr Spanish Guy lies dead with Chris standing over him. Baby James is still alive. Travis takes charge and says he’s going to try and stitch up the wound. He runs to the house to look for whatever he can find, rifling through drawers. Surprisingly, he’s quite good at stitching, even though Baby James is twitching and whining the whole time. Now he has to do the exit wound. He says after he does that, they won’t move him until he’s better and Baby James finally shuts up. He ain’t called Baby for nothin’. I’m very impressed at both Travis’s cool and his skills.

Travis buries Mr. Whatever-the-hell-his-name-is with his family. Suarez! It’s Suarez. Now that he’s in the ground, I have his name. Travis is working on some kind of adrenaline because he’s just flying through all this.

The guys cook a chicken for dinner. Travis asks Baby James how he’s doing. His pain is only level 3 or 4, so he’s doing pretty well. Travis says he can’t help him if he doesn’t know what’s going on, so if anything gets worse, let him know. Travis asks Chris to talk. He tells Chris he killed a man today, and the least he could do is let it affect his appetite. Travis wants to know what he’s thinking. Chris says the guy shot his friend, what was he supposed to do? Travis says they’re savages. Chris says this is how it works now – no more good or bad, no right or wrong, it’s kill or be killed, sorrynotsorry. He tells Travis how he would hide every recess in middle-school and Travis told him to play along and fit in. Travis says the operative phrase was play along. Chris says Travis has proved his worth, and be careful how he plays it because they need theses guys .Travis says he doesn’t need them, but Chris says he does.

Madison tells them to open the gate for Travis. They manage to get Travis through a small opening while keeping the others out. He and Madison cling to each other.

Travis looks out from a balcony. Madison asks if he wants a shower, but he says no. You sure about that? She asks if he wants food and he says he doesn’t need anything. He asks where Victor is, and she says he ran off, possibly to Tijuana. She asks about Chris. Travis gets a weird look on his face and goes inside. He tells her he had no choice and she asks where Chris is.

We go back to earlier. The chickens have run out, so it’s moving day. Baby James claims his pain is at zero, but Travis is skeptical. The guys want to go to San Diego. Travis repeats that it’s burned and Chris says they never actually saw that. The guys all insist on leaving, but frankly, I think James looks scared.

Travis looks at Mr. Suarez’s grave and then goes inside the house .He looks at all the family pictures on the walls. Damn. And I thought I had a lot of photos. He finds Mr Suarez’s license and makes a grave marker using the info. Like this means anything. Chris says they’re leaving, and Travis says too bad, he’s finishing this.

Travis joins the rest and they slide Baby James into the bed of the truck. He doesn’t sound like his pain is a zero. Travis rides in the back with Baby James and Chris. They start off and already James isn’t looking too good. Travis checks his pulse and tells them if they don’t stop, Baby James is going to die. He barely has a pulse. They go back.

Travis hears Chris talking with the others. Travis tells them they need to give Baby James more time. He says they can survive there for enough time for James to heal. He tells them Baby James is scared of them, and he’s starting to get why. Travis grabs Chris’s gun. One of the guys says he doesn’t have the balls to use it and Travis shoots close. The guy jumps up, brandishing his own gun. Chris asks why Travis is doing this and he says he’s doing it for him.

Travis tends to Baby James. He tells him his buddies want to put him down. Baby James asks why Travis thinks he agreed to get in the truck? He tells Travis about another friend, Troy. He was sick and they knew he was going to turn, and kept their promise to kill him if he did. He says when the time came, he begged them not to do it. Baby James ended up doing the dirty work. Travis says it’s all the same no matter where they go, just different people. He tells Baby James he’s not sick or dying, he just needs time. Baby James says it doesn’t matter, what matters is they think he is and he’s considered dead weight. Travis fingers the gun.

James sleeps while Travis guards him. Chris knocks at the barn door, saying he wants to talk and brought food. Travis tells him to set it down and frisks him. He says the others are down the road. Travis tells him to sit down. Chris says he gets it and Travis asks what he gets. Chris says he understands why Travis is trying to save people, because life matters. Chris says they’ve known Baby James since he was six and still want to kill him, so imagine what they might do to him. I wouldn’t trust this kid as far as I could throw him.

Yep. Travis is caught off-guard and Chris gets the better of him and lets the others in. Baby James begs for his life and Travis says don’t do it. Too late. Baby James is dead. I knew Chris was faking it – playing along. Travis is seriously bummed. Chris has his gun back and they guys pack the truck up again. Travis wants to talk to Chris. He tells Chris the name of the farmer and says he was born on Chris’s birthday. He tells Chris that this is forever and he’s barely 16. If he drives away, Travis will never find him. Chris tells him that his way doesn’t work. Travis promises to take care of him. Chris says by letting him go, he is. He says he’s adapting and better off without Travis. He says Travis found it in him to kill Chris’s zombified mother. Travis says there’s a difference and Chris says, no, there’s not, so that settles it. As they drive away, Travis begs Chris not to go. Then curses him out. I’ll bet we see Chris and the bros somewhere down the line again. Travis starts to walk.

Travis tells Madison he walked for two days and saw the hotel light, and what are the chances? He’s bummed about leaving Chris, but Madison tells him they’ll get through this. He says he failed his son and his wife. He goes back out on the balcony. Madison says he said it himself, there was no choice. Travis says he could have gone along with it. It would have been wrong, but he would have done right by Chris. Madison says he’s still out there. Travis says he was wrong when Chris threatened Alicia, and they should be parents first. Madison did what she was supposed to, but his priority should have been Chris. He says the whole time he was walking, he thought about how he should have told Chris he loved him. Instead, the last thing he said was “God damn you.” He says when Chris was a boy, he had a big heart, but by the time Madison met him, he was angry. Travis says he allowed Chris to become that way. He says they’re living minute by minute, and at any time, it could be over. He wishes he had ended things differently. Madison says she has to find Alicia and leaves.

Alicia and Andres are tending to the patients in a makeshift infirmary. Madison asks Alicia to come with her. They go out on the dock. Madison says there’s something Alicia needs to understand and to hear her out. She says it’s about Alicia’s father and his accident, and that it wasn’t an accident. She thought she was doing the right thing by not telling her. Alicia says Madison said he fell asleep at the wheel, and Madison says he didn’t. Alicia asks how she can be certain, and Madison says he left a note in his glove box. Alicia starts to cry and asks what it said. Madison says it’s not important. He was a man of few words who could be quite precise. Alicia insists. It said, I love you all and enough’s enough.

Alicia asks if Nick knows. Madison says Nick is why she kept it a secret. She says there’s a lot of Alicia’s father in Nick. She lists his positive qualities and says he just couldn’t see it. She asks to hold Alicia’s hand. She says she was afraid of Nick ending up like her father, but she never loved Alicia any less. She just thought Alicia was all right. Alicia says she had to be and Madison apologizes. She hugs Alicia. Alicia says she loves Madison too.

Travis takes a shower. He stands with his forehead on the wall.

Uh-oh. Here comes trouble. A small group comes to the gate . It’s those guys, but I don’t see Chris.

Next time, the 2-hour finale, Travis finds Chris, Victor returns, and there are lots and lots of zombies to make up for this episode.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Love Melissa’s dress in the opening. I’ll bet I’d like the stuff in her store. If I could fit in it.

The end of the last episode repeats. At lunch, Rosie wonders if Teresa never wants to be a family again. Teresa says her heart got hardened and asks her to respect that. She says she wishes them the best. Kathy asks if they can at least come away with a possibility. Teresa says they’re cousins and will always be there for each other as family. She and Joe #2 leave.

Teresa starts to cry and does that fanning thing. She says it’s exhausting. Joe #2 talks about how they were taught to never cry. He tells Teresa if that’s how she feels, that’s how she feels, and she says she feels like she doesn’t want to be around Kathy and Rosie.

Siggy and Dolores visit Jacqueline. They want the skinny on what happened. Jacqueline calls Kathy and Rosie. Kathy says Teresa said she has a lot on her plate and wants to keep her distance right now, but her door is open. Kathy makes like everything went more okay than it was.

Teresa packs for Vermont while Milania does some break dancing. Teresa wants the girls to spend time with their father, since he’ll be going ~~to the pokey~~ away soon.

Joe #2 tells Melissa it’s good of her to plan the trip. He says Teresa was really stressed out by the lunch with Kathy and Rosie, and thinks she could use the break. Melissa wants everyone to just have fun and not worry about anything. Good luck with that. Mutual friends Robyn and Christina are also coming. She tells Joe about how Jacqueline and Teresa seem to be doing better, but thinks Jacqueline still doubts Teresa and is paranoid of Melissa’s friendship with her.

Kim D (who the name Plastic would actually fit) is at her store, Posche. We flash back to the stupid fashion show she had where she tried to “expose” Melissa as a stripper. Or as Melissa says it, “shtripper.” Jacqueline and Siggy come in. Kim gossips about Melissa’s store and says that one of her assistants is selling stories. Jacqueline brings up Teresa selling books for cash at a time when it looked badly for her, and how it was leaked to the press. Siggy talks about how Melissa and Teresa are getting along better, but Kim D will have none of that, saying it’s all an act.

Joe #1 looks at a brochure on vaginal rejuvenation. I don’t want to know. Robyn and Christina arrive with their suitcases, as well a Melissa and Joe #2. The party bus comes with Jacqueline and Chris, and everyone gets on it. Since Joe #1 has been a bad boy, he can’t come. He’s not allowed to leave the state.

They discuss skiing, and who is good at it or not, swapping war stories. Joe #2 has already had enough of all the ladies talking at once. Siggy offers Teresa any help she might need when she’s a “single mother.” Chris says he’s the only one she can count on, and Joe brings up him trying to date Teresa. Chris says she was only interested in Joe #1.

Somehow the lunch comes up. Teresa compares it to breaking up with a guy – you still love him, but there’s nothing there. Robyn talks about actions speaking louder than words, but Dolores says they’re good people. We flash back to an issue Robyn had with Rosie. She says Rosie won’t even acknowledge her. In her interview, Jacqueline calls Robyn one of “Teresa’s soldiers,” and she questions Teresa having changed. Melissa says there seems to be no meeting of the minds, and Jacqueline starts getting loud about the message not having been clear. Melissa thinks she’s trying to push the relationship. Jacqueline says that if Teresa doesn’t want it, she totally gets it, but she needs to make it understood. Joe interjects that they might have gotten the wrong message when she said her door was open. Melissa opens some champagne. In her interview, Dolores says Robyn doesn’t really mesh well with the others.

After eight hours, they finally arrive and go immediately to the bar. They’ve rented a villa, and the suites or whatever are divvied up. Siggy tries on the many hats she’s brought with her.

Dinner time! All the women have their bathrobes on over their clothes. I have no clue why. It’s a family style meal and looks pretty damn good. Melissa announces her fashion show. Teresa thanks everyone for hanging out with her before Joe #1 leaves. Everyone says something positive and they toast. Joe #2 and Chris play shuffleboard (except it’s like a foosball table) and the girls go outside by the fire-pit.

Jacqueline tells Melissa what Kim D said about her assistant Derek and how he’s selling stories. In her interview, Melissa says Kim D is scraping the bottom of the barrel for gossip. She reminds the others about Kim D stirring the pot, trying to out her as the shtripper she never was. We flash back to that, and also a problem that Kim started between Jacqueline and Teresa. Teresa suggests Melissa just check Derek out.

Joe #2 talks to Chris about being glad he was born a man when he hears the girls bitching. Robyn tells Jacqueline she’s confusing and not very direct. She feels that Jacqueline tried to attack her and Jacqueline talks about her being a “loyal soldier” to Teresa. Robyn suggests they bring Teresa into the conversation, and in her interview, Jacqueline wonders why Robyn wants to drag Teresa into it. Um, maybe because you’re talking about her? Robyn asks Jacqueline what her problem is, and she says she wants to rage on Jacqueline’s ass. Jacqueline says bring it on and they tell each other to STFU and do that “no, you” stuff that I find funny coming from adults.

Jacqueline gets up and gets in Robyn’s face. Teresa comes out and asks what’s happening and they continue their argument. In her interview, Teresa says she’s never seen Robyn like this and wouldn’t be surprised if Jacqueline crossed the line. They go inside and Jacqueline keeps it up. Robyn calls her an instigator and Jacqueline tells Teresa she thought she’d cleaned house, but she forgot to take out the garbage. She’s so nasty. Or vicious, as Michael Rapaport would say.

Meanwhile back at Teresa’s house, Milania tries to cook while Joe #1 gives instructions like, don’t burn that. I can tell he’s at the end of his rope already and it’s only early morning.

Jacqueline refuses to come out of her room because she’s five years old. Teresa says she antagonizes the situation (ha-ha – I think she means aggravates) and then plays the victim. Truth! Melissa comes to breakfast in a bizarre ski outfit. Teresa asks Dolores why Jacqueline isn’t coming out and Dolores says she’s bummed. Poor baby.

Jacqueline tells Chris about how Robyn said she wanted her ass, so she sat one her. Chris says they’re out of control.

The rest of the group goes to a dog sledding place. Dolores totally loves on one of the dogs. Teresa keeps saying she’s scared, but don’t they have three dogs, one of which is a German Shepherd? Everyone gets in the sleds and the dogs are super excited. We see everything all shaky-cam on the ride. Melissa says it’s too bad Jacqueline didn’t come and that she tends to create her own issues. Dolores has gotten a text telling them there’s nothing wrong and some TMI about Jacqueline and Chris.

Time to ski. Robyn immediately falls on her ass and continues to do so. Joe is next. I refuse to laugh because I’ve never been skiing and can just imagine. Teresa tells Melissa she’s glad they’re in a good place. She asks for help in understanding Jacqueline, because it doesn’t seem to be going as well. Melissa says her relationship with Jacqueline has changed, since she seems to be paranoid about trusting Teresa.

Siggy and Dolores go back to the villa and Jacqueline says since Chris has to leave, she wants to go too. She says the weekend is about Teresa and Robyn is her friend, so she thinks it’s for the best. Siggy gets ridiculous about how they won’t have a good time without her. In her interview, Dolores is upset because this new person is causing a problem. Frankly, I think Jacqueline is acting like a big baby. She claims to be fearful of Robyn, since she said she wanted to kick Jacqueline’s ass, but Jacqueline started it and she’s the one with the tough girl tagline. She always seems to be spoiling for a fight, but I guess the real truth is, she’s all mouth. Then again, didn’t she punch Caroline Manzo? And her daughter, Ashlee, is the one who pulled out Danielle Staub’s weave way back when. Yeah, now I need help understanding Jacqueline too.

In her interview, Teresa says that Jacqueline is calculated (um…calculating?) and hits you where it hurts.

Big baby Jacqueline packs. Dolores tells her that Teresa is on probation can’t be around any arguments. Jacqueline says if she stays there will be an argument, and they both whine about the new person. Siggy says they have to protect Teresa. Dolores says Robyn is a threat and they should tell her. Honestly, these women think everyone has short term memory loss. Robyn did not start this argument.

Next time, Teresa doesn’t want to ask Robyn to leave, Joe #2 says this is like a soap opera, Jacqueline wags her finger in Teresa and Melissa’s faces while pulling out her phone, and Dolores goes nuts.

Sep24

September 23, 2016 – We Lose GH’s Sabrrrina, But Gain Back Citizen Z & the Usual Quotes

Posted on September 24, 2016 by theresakp

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Franco gives Elizabeth some tea. The doorbell rings and he thinks it’s the home nurse, but it’s Jason.

There’s a knock at Finn’s door. It’s Hayden bearing empty to-go coffee cups. Please, at least pretend. How many times do I have to tell these people? She wants to celebrate her freedom. She says she knows he’s bummed about the hospital, but he could at least return her texts. His room looks like a tornado hit it and she asks what the blip happened.

Curtis wakes Valerie, telling her she’s late for work, but she’s not pulling the early shift. She set the alarm for something else. Woo-woo.

Jordan peruses her laptop at the station. Andre chastises her for eating pizza for breakfast, but she says its not breakfast if she hasn’t been to bed yet. He tells her about how Mayor Lomax is patting herself on the back for closing the hospital. Jordan says the only way to make the hospital safe is to catch the killer. Andre says, let’s get to work then.

Griff presides over Sabrrrina’s funeral. He talks about how resilient Sabrrrina was in the face of adversity and her determination to find the best in people. He says they’re there to celebrate her life. He invites the attendees to talk about her. Lucy gets up and thanks Sabrrrina for everything she gave to all of them.

Hayden tells Finn about Naomi covering for her. He says he knows how much she’s suffered for her father’s crimes. She says he doesn’t know the half of it, and tells him about Jeff Webber being her real father and how that insufferable twit Elizabeth is her sister.

Jason brings Elizabeth a homemade card and she asks how Jake is. She wonders why Jason is wearing a suit and he says it’s for Sabrrrina’s funeral. You’re going to be late, dude.

Jordan says Andre still has his patients to look after, but he says the quicker the case is solved, the quicker GH will reopen. He says they need to figure out how Sabrrrina’s murder factors in.

Curtis and Valerie finish what she set the alarm for. He suggests she play hooky, but she says she can’t with the killer on the loose. She feels that she should have been more alert when she got the bop in the head at the hospital. Curtis says she got off easy, and if she’d turned around, she would have been killed. Curtis says the veterans haven’t caught the killer either and she doesn’t have to solve every murder. She says just the last one – Sabrrrina’s.

Lucy goes up to the podium. She talks about how Sabrrrina was determined to revive the Nurses Ball. She believed in what it stood for – compassion, community, and coming together to do something good. She says Sabrrrina is the reason she came back to Port Charles. She thanks Sabrrrina, saying she’ll be eternally grateful, and also to Felix. She asks him to come up next. He probably should have been first since he’s the only one I’ve seen cry real tears.

Elizabeth wants to go to the funeral. Franco says she’d still be in the hospital if it hadn’t closed. Jason says she’s not strong enough yet, and Sabrrrina would have told her the same thing. He leaves and Franco asks if he can get Elizabeth anything, She says she needs her friends to stop dying. She goes down Memory Lane, mentioning Emily and Nicholas. It doesn’t look like we’ll be seeing Nicholas again either, at least not in the form of Tyler Christopher.

Hayden says when she was little, she was desperate for a sister, someone to play with, confide in and trust. She says her so-called sister is the reason she went to jail and Finn says something about it being a miscommunication. Hmm…not the word I’d use. She asks why he destroyed his room and says Carly won’t be too happy. He tries to get her to leave, but no.

Jordan goes through the victims. Andre says the killer is being sloppy. Jordan thinks Sabrrrina was a mistake and that maybe she could have ID’d him. Andre says the hospital is the common denominator. They talk about the shoes and cufflink being from a well dressed man. Jordan says she works best with a partner. Valerie and Curtis walk in. Curtis sees the pizza and asks if they pulled an all-nighter and if they’re close to a breakthrough.

Felix says it still seems impossible that Sabrrrina is gone. He says they’re not here for bitterness, but to talk about how amazing Sabrrrina was. Jason arrives, apologizing to Michael for being late, and saying he’s there for him. Felix wants to pay tribute but doesn’t know where to start. He amends that, saying that he doesn’t want to, because if he starts, that means there has to be an end. Preach it.

Commercial break. An ad for ABC Soaps in Depth, and the headline is GH: Shocker: Paul Confesses to Tracy. 😯

Felix talks about how close he and Sabrrrina were, and how, no matter what was going on, she always made time for him. He says she could brighten the darkest day, and he wishes with all his heart he didn’t have to get through this day without her. I’ll let it slide that if she was there, he wouldn’t need to get through this day.

Hayden refuses to leave. She tells Finn it’s time to change up their dance and she’s tired of him pushing her away to protect her feelings. She says she’s tough now, after spending a night in jail. She tells him a fatal illness is a lot, emotionally and physically, and he can talk to her, she won’t break. Finn says he might. He says his tantrum had nothing to do with him being sick. Hayden asks why he’s upset, and he shows her a tie with Einstein and E-MC2 on it, a gift from his dead wife. It’s their anniversary.

Jordan asks Curtis what he’s doing there, and he says dropping off Valerie. He asks if they think the killer is a doctor. He says doctors do have a God complex – no offense to Andre, who says he and his complex forgive Curtis. He says a lot of people go through the hospital and this is someone who wouldn’t be questioned. Jordan says someone like a cop?

Dante thinks he has a lead. He tells Tracy that the killer didn’t plan this out and there might be DNA evidence. Griff asks if there’s anyone else who wants to share. Elizabeth comes in supported by Franco and says she will.

Elizabeth takes the podium. She talks about how she and Sabrrrina clicked right away and that taking care of patients was in her blood. She says Sabrrrina was one of the kindest people she’s ever known. She might have made mistakes, but never for the wrong reasons. She says starting today, for Sabrrrina, she’ll try to be more like her, and it’s the best way to honor her memory.

Finn tells Hayden that his wife was the best doctor he’s ever known. He says she had a way of making everyone happy and having fun with whatever she did. He says when he got too serious, she’d buy him a crazy novelty tie. He never wore them because he doesn’t like to call attention to himself. Hayden is like, says the guy with the bearded dragon. Finn tells her that Roxie is a showboater and not to blame him because she’s a star.

He tells Hayden that one day they weren’t as careful with samples as they should have been and his wife got exposed. She got sick because of him. She’d wanted to go home, but he’d wanted to stay and find a cure. She never blamed him, and gave him the tie on their last anniversary. She wanted him to wear it to show the world.

Jordan asks Curtis if he’s accusing one of the PCPD of being a murderer. He says it’s someone who can move undetected through the hospital, and Jordan tells Valerie to make a list of non-medical personnel, especially those who would have an ID.

Michael gets up next. He wonders how to sum Sabrrrina up. He talks about her kindness and her big heart and how fun she was to be around. He says how good she was with Avery. When he saw her tenderness, patience and love, he realized that he loved her. He starts to break up and Carly goes to him. She asks if she can say something.

Carly talks about Michael being estranged from his family and Sabrrrina encouraging forgiveness. She’s grateful for the bridge and for the happiness Sabrrrina brought Michael. Michael says that Sabrrrina left the place a better world than she found it, and he’s grateful he got to know and love her. I call Paul an a-hole.

Griff gets up and asks Epiphany to take the floor. Where does he want her to take it? She says that Sabrrrina was a wonderful gift and it’s not going to be easy without her, but they’ll do their damnedest to measure up. She sings You’re Not Alone. Love, love, love Epiphany. As she sings, instead of getting flashbacks like we should, the camera pans over the crowd. We see Hayden put the tie on Finn, and Valerie looking at Sabrrrina’s picture at the station. I call Paul a d-bag. Even though I wasn’t a huge Sabrrrina fan, this all makes me want to cry.

Commercial break. Don’t forget, Once Upon a Time has its season premiere this Sunday.

Afterward Jason tells Michael that if he needs anything, let him know. Michael says thanks, but maybe he can do some good for someone, which is what Sabrrrina would have wanted.

Hayden says she knows the best way to celebrate and Finn tells her no selfies. Finn says Hayden and his wife would have liked one another, and they toast to her with the empty to-go cups.

Elizabeth thanks Franco for taking her to the memorial. He tells her to rest or he’ll end up in trouble. She asks if hell be there when she wakes up and he says if she wants him to. She does.

Griff tells Tracy that he hopes Sabrrrina has peace now. Paul looks at Sabrrrina’s pic.

Valerie has downloaded some files and asks Andre to help weed through them. Curtis tells Jordan about how they tried to bust a cartel once, and how the guy they were looking for was right under their noses the whole time.

Paul flashes back to killing Sabrrrina. He apologizes to her picture, and Tracy asks what he’s sorry for. He says, “I killed her.” DUN-DUN-DUNN! I guess Soaps in Depth wasn’t kidding

On Monday, Paul confesses to Tracy, Sam confronts Alexis, and Sonny tells Jason someone needs to pay.

Z Nation

Pup and Citizen Z have set off for parts unknown. They nearly freeze to death, but a native girl finds them.

Meanwhile, Operation Bitemark and Escorpion get trounced and are being held captive by some kind of Asian soldier group. The female leader sees Murphy in a speedboat. She scans Roberta with something that looks like an iPad and Roberta’s information comes up. She does the same thing to the others, and the soldiers take blood samples from them. When she gets to Escorpion, the screen comes up with a list of his crimes. He tells her that career opportunities were somewhat limited in his neighborhood. While she’s busy with that, Roberta gets a soldier’s gun, but her plan doesn’t work, and they become captives once again. The soldiers dispatch a few zombies.

On the water, Murphy has his own little gang. He orders Dr. Merch and a bunch of military guys out of the boat. Murphy swipes the captain’s hat and 10K emerges from the boat, asking what happened. He says they have to find the others, but Murphy says they’re going their own way now, to start a new world. They all get into military vehicles. Dr. Merch and 10K ride with Murphy.

The woman asks Roberta where Murphy is and says his blood is their mission. One of the soldiers is radioed by a plane. The soldiers push OBM forward.

None of the people with Murphy seem to drive very well. They have to stop when one of the vehicles has a tire issue. Zombies come out of the woods. Never mind. These must be people. They have weapons and look like Vikings. They don’t respond to Murphy and the captain gets a machete to the head. It’s not going well for the other soldiers and Murphy tells 10K to kill the Vikings. WTF?

Murphy says starvation and killing is all that’s left; last stop for humanity, everybody off. Dr. Merch has an asthma attack, but Murphy calms it by looking at her. The plane drops some cargo. A group of Duck Dynasty guys run out of the woods toward where the parachutes are landing. Maybe they’re part of the Viking group.

Citizen Z has crazy dreams. He wakes and is being given some water. He doesn’t look good at all. He wakes again and is a little more cognizant. He’s naked and a naked girl sleeps next to him. Pup drinks from a water dish next to their floor mat. As soon as he sees Pup is fine, Citizen Z goes back to sleep.

The soldiers continue to march OBM through the woods and shoot zombies as they go. Doc is glad to see someone else doing the work for once. The zombies keep coming. One of the soldiers throws a grenade. Wait. It’s not a grenade. It’s a laser light show coming out of a ball. Doc says it’s a zombie rave and to pass the z-weed. The zombies stare at the green laser beams, something shoots out and they keel over. Roberta and Escorpian kill a couple of zombies with their hands tied behind their backs, and Escorpion suggests they work better when their hands are free.

An unfettered OBM walk through the woods. The female leader introduces herself as Dr. Sun from Laos. (She says Laos didn’t survive. They only have 200,000 people left.) She says they stayed behind the wall of the Forbidden City, a group of the best scientists from Asia, but failed to develop a vaccine. They need Murphy’s platelets.

10K asks Murphy what’s happening. Murphy says they have to keep moving. OMG – it’s a ball of zombies rumbling through the woods, taking down trees as they go! Murphy says it’s zombies eating zombies because there aren’t enough humans. He says without him, this is how the world ends – no humans just starving z’s. Dr. Merch asks what he’s going to do with her. He says she’ll bring him to the masses and she’ll go down in history. He tells 10K to put the zombies out of their misery. Murphy points out that 10K has stopped counting.

Roberta explains mercy to Dr. Sun . They stop for water and a couple of characters out of The Warriors watch them. Dr. Sun gives OBM their weapons back. Even better, gives them some modified weapons from her group.

Citizen Z wakes again, this time alone. He sits up, gets out of bed and stretches. He sees a girl sitting nearby. She says you’re up and he says it happens in the morning sometimes. Ha-ha! He covers himself with the blanket. She knows who he is and is a huge fan, although not in a Kathy Bates with a sledgehammer kind of way. She says she’s excited, but I’d hate to see not excited, since everything she says is very deadpan. Her name is Kia and she explains that he’s been out for two days and had hypothermia, which was why she was in bed with him. She introduces her Uncle Koskay and Nana who are sitting at the table having tea. Pulling the blanket tighter, he thanks them for their hospitality and gets his clothes back.

Kia, her uncle and Citizen Z stand outside. She tells him he’s been their connection to the world. She loves his vibe, but thinks he could stand to play more hip-hop. There aren’t any zombies around because of the ice and snow. There were also fewer humans.

Dr. Sun says her people sacrificed greatly for the mission and it’s their last hope. Oooh, I like Roberta’s vest, it’s OD green with little pockets and laces up the front. They see some characters from Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Escorpion calls them Enders. He says they’re humans whose brains are fried. The group sees where the parachutes landed. It looks like an old airplane hangar. Roberta says they’re not the only ones who saw the parachutes. Doc tells her to put her dancin’ shoes on because there’s going to be a party.

They enter the hangar and Roberta asks Escorpion if he missed all the fun. Dr. Sun wonders where the people ahead of them want. She uses her iPad-looking thing to ~~play Pokemon GO~~ hone in on where the supplies are. They toss one of the laser grenades at the people from The Devil’s Rejects. It gets tossed back and the soldiers get nailed. Dr. Sun freaks out and runs to tend one of them. All hell breaks loose.

While OBM are fighting the Hills Have Eyes bunch, the doctor whines about failing her people. Escorpion pulls a giant nail out of the soldier, who says it’s just a flesh wound. Dr. Sun cries some more about failure and doesn’t want to go back without a cure. Geez, all of a sudden, a zombie pops out of nowhere and poor nail guy gets slammed and eaten. When life hands you zombies, get out of the way. This causes Dr. Sun to wail even louder.

Addie comes out with her modified battle ax, but this zombie is tough and big. Escorpian shoots him from behind. The lieutenant is zobified and the doctor kills him and sobs over his body. Roberta drags her away and says they need to look for the supplies. Doc says the supplies better be damn awesome because he needs a pick-me-up right about now.

The supply drop is gone, even the vehicle. No surprise, the doctor brings failure into the picture one more time, adding the ancestors will never know peace. There are storm clouds in the sky and it begins to thunder. The doctor says there’s a reckoning coming. Roberta tells her to call in more supplies, but that was it and the radio is destroyed. Roberta asks what Dr. Sun wanted with their blood. The doctor says they’ve been with Murphy from the beginning and they’ve survived for so long, maybe it was biological. Roberta says they’re the ones who kept Murphy going; he didn’t rub off on them. The doctor wants to have a pity party, but Roberta says Dr. Sun is part of her mission now. Doc asks if the mission has changed. Dr. Sun asks about Murphy, and Roberta says they’ve all survived for some cosmic reason, and it’s up to them.

Murphy drives up in a mini-tank with Dr. Merch. Roberta asks about 10K and Murphy just shakes his head. He says hi to Escorpion, who says he’s just Hector now. Murphy applauds his Road to Damascus moment and says he had his own epiphany. He tells them the submarine sank, but there was no lab on it, only Zona and now he has their nectar. He says there was no mission and asks Roberta to come with him to a new world. He says she can even bring everyone else.

Roberta says no thanks, and tells him about Dr. Sun and that she has a fully equipped lab on a ship not far away. Murphy says no one is poking holes in him again. He wants to forget about humanity and invites them to join his mission.

Roberta draws a gun on Murphy and tells him get out of the car. A bullet whizzes by and Doc wonders if it’s 10K. Either a bunch of zombies or the guys from Slipknot are coming over the hill. Murphy says time to choose him or what’s left of humanity. He says it’s blend time; the humans lost the race – just ask them. He tells them TTYL and drives away.

Murphy picks up 10K on his way out, and we see that he has a bite on the back of his neck. Oh wow. He was adamant about not wanting that last season, so I’m wondering if he was willing.

Dr. Sun says she’s not a survivor. Roberta says, yet she survived. The doctor asks if she’s a prisoner and Roberta says she’ll try trusting her. Doc says he thinks it was 10K who shot at them. Roberta tells him they’ll have to forget about that. They’re going to stop Murphy from creating a race of blends.

Citizen Z, Kia and her family watch the Northern Lights. Kia says she’s glad he’s there, and Citizen Z says he is too.

Murphy rides on.

The Man sees the damage that’s been done at the supply drop. I recognized those flip-flops right away. He looks at his list. The only name on it is Murphy’s. The Man walks out into the whatever.

Next time, Roberta is determined to stop Murphy, a mailman attracts zombies, and Murphy manages to get stuck in traffic.

Quotes of the Week

I was trying to remember the name of that singer Rihanna used to date … and then it hit me. —Lady Bunny referring to Chris Brown

Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth. — Mohammed Ali

Don’t screw with my disco, Nadine. — Corin Nemic as Harold, The Stand

Sep19

September 18, 2016 – NJ’s Teresa Confronts Her Cousins & FTD’s Strand Confronts a Knife

Posted on September 19, 2016 by theresakp

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Rosie, Jacqueline and Siggy meet for drinks. Jacqueline talks about Kathy and Rosie surprising Teresa at her book signing. Rosie wants Teresa back in their lives (whether Teresa wants it or not) and was hoping to make a lunch date. Siggy thinks it’s sad that they’re estranged and has high hopes for a reconciliation. Higher hopes than I do, since I basically have none. In her interview, Jacqueline says Teresa is mad at Kathy for things she’s said herself. We flash back to Rosie’s interruption of the last Wives reunion that Teresa attended. Rosie says Teresa didn’t act like she hated her, but she wanted more than that. Siggy says family is worth fighting for. Um…that depends on the family.

Melissa takes Joe #2 go for a Botox treatment. She tells him it will help his migraines and he says he has migraines from stuff like what happened at the book signing. He says family is supposed to pick you up when you’re going down, not agree with the one who’s pushing you down. The doctor comes in and Joe expresses his fear of needles. Melissa takes a picture as he gets his treatment. He suggests a gin chaser.

Ashlee is going with Pete to check out apartments. Pete suggests checking out Hoboken first. I was going to wrinkle my nose until I saw the view. I’m moving tomorrow. They go to an observation area and Pete asks her to marry him. Geez, no fanfare, no warning, no nothing. In her interview, Ashlee recalls dreaming about this moment as a little girl. This is the kind of moment she dreamt of? They nix looking at apartments, and decide to go home to give the family the big announcement. The ring gets my stamp of approval.

Ashlee asks Jacqueline if this dress makes her look fat and then asks if this ring makes her look engaged. Okay, that was kind of cute. Brother CJ and Chris join them. In his interview, Chris says, “She’s all yours, Pete – good luck.” Ha-ha! Champagne is brought out and they all have a toast.

What is up with the windows on Siggy’s house? There’s a huge blank space on the second floor. Jacqueline calls Siggy to tell her about the engagement. She also sends out a group text.

Teresa and Melissa are out for a walk. They discuss Joe #1‘s upcoming trip to camp. The conclusion is that women are stronger than men. Teresa says Joe isn’t taking it all that well, although he keeps saying he’s good. Teresa thinks it will be a plus for Joe to detox. In her interview, Melissa talks about how the men in the family put up a strong front. She feels that Teresa got more in touch with her feelings when she was away and they’re the closest they’ve been.

Siggy comes by Melissa’s place to pick up some jeans and have champagne. There must have been a sale. Teresa is going to join them, and they talk about how exhausted she seems. Melissa says she doesn’t think everything has hit her yet, but every time they talk, more trust is established. Melissa wants to take a group trip to Vermont before Joe #1 leaves and Teresa won’t be able to get away.

Teresa arrives and Melissa presents her idea. She says it will be the girls and Joe #2, but only if Chris will come, because he doesn’t want to be the only guy. Joe #1 isn’t allowed out of the state. After some gentle persuasion, Teresa agrees. Glasses clink.

Dolores is working at the gym. Jacqueline shows up with a Quarter Pounder, with cheese no less. Dolores tells Jacqueline about her idea to empower women and have a ladies weekend at the gym. Jacqueline checks out the equipment. They talk about Ashlee’s engagement. Jacqueline is glad Ashlee and Pete are taking their time, since her own wedding was a backyard affair and ~~she~~ Ashlee will have time to plan.

Jacqueline, Siggy and Teresa meet for drinks. Siggy tells Teresa about how upset Rosie was and how she wants to have lunch with Teresa. Teresa says now her father is involved, since Kathy called him a coward at the reunion. I’m guessing she doesn’t mean a hands-on kind of involvement, just that Kathy dragged his name into it. Jacqueline says that Kathy feels that Teresa started it, since she said something first about Kathy’s parents. Teresa brings up how Kathy and her aunt discussed Teresa’s culpability in going to prison and we flash back to that. In her interview, Teresa says they haven’t treated her well and it’s really none of Siggy’s business. I have to agree here. Even I’m feeling the strain. Teresa tells the girls that she isn’t ready for a relationship with her cousins, and wants to concentrate on her immediate family. Siggy tries to pressure her about the lunch and Teresa says she’ll think about it. She leaves to pick the girls up from school. Siggy tells Jacqueline this is deep, so they need to have hope.

Jacqueline and Siggy go to Kathy’s for lunch. Siggy tells them about meeting with Teresa and brings up what Kathy said about Teresa’s father. Kathy immediately gets excited and talks about how Teresa said things about her family, but at the end of the reunion said she forgave Kathy. Melissa and Joe join the crowd. Siggy starts crying. She’s upset about the whole lunch thing, since she doesn’t think it’s going to happen any time soon. Joe #2 says Teresa can’t forget right now and Melissa doesn’t want to get in the middle. Rich talks nonsense about what a happily married couple he and Kathy are, and that Teresa is jealous about that. Joe gets mighty pissed. He says they all know what Rich just did and it’s got to stop. Rich acts ignorant. Joe says something in Italian, which translates to, the tongue doesn’t have bones but can break bones. Rosie gets crazy, saying they all say whatever they want and it all falls on her sister and she won’t have it anymore. Rich says if Joe thinks he’s adding to the fire, he apologizes. To his credit, he says he’ll step back and stay out of it. In his interview, Joe says Teresa needs time to trust them. Finally everyone calms the hell down.

Joe #2 meets Teresa at the gym. He tells her about Kathy and Rich. Teresa says that she’s tired of hearing about it. She says she doens’t like Richie’s company and Joe blabs about what Richie said and how he intimated that Teresa and Joe don’t have love. She says this is exactly the kind of thing she doesn’t want in her life. Joe suggests she have lunch with the girls. She brings up their father being called a coward. He says until she tells them get lost, they’re not going away. Joe offers to come along and she says she’ll do it. That was really nice of him.

Rosie and Kathy show up early for the lunch. Kathy tells Rosie that she doesn’t want to dwell in the past. She says that their parents getting older puts things in perspective. In her interview, Rosie says despite what’s happened in the past few years, she loves the Giudices. She tells Kathy she wants to make her mother proud. Rosie gets all teary and lunch hasn’t even started yet.

In the car, Teresa explains to Joe #2 that she doesn’t enjoy Rosie and Kathy’s company and Joe says he wants them to hear it from her, so they let go. Teresa tells Joe that it breaks her heart that it trickled down to the parents.

Joe #2 and Teresa arrive. Teresa says she feels badly dragging Joe into the lunch. Kathy says she just wants to be a family again. Teresa says they’ll always be family, but she just wants to be left alone. She says Rich always has something negative to say and he’s a big part of the problem. Teresa asks if he has any feeling. A waiter brings menus and Teresa says they’re not eating. Oh, snap!

Teresa says she didn’t even get a card from them the whole time she was away. Kathy says Teresa also shut everyone out, but Teresa disagrees. She tells them she feels like now that she’s in the public eye again, they’re interested in her, and she wants to be around people who were there for her during the bad times. She says there’s been a lot of turmoil and she wants to cut the cancer out. Kathy says they’re not cancer, and Rosie asks if she’s saying she never wants to be a family again. No. She’s saying get off her back right now because you two are way past desperate and she just freakin’ got out of prison.

Teresa says her heart got hardened and asks if they can respect that. Rosie says she doesn’t want to beg. But you are, Blanche! You are! Teresa says she wishes them the best. Joe #2 wakes up and astutely observes that time mends all. Kathy says they’ve opened the door, so if they need anything, they’re here for each other. Teresa says her door is open if they ever need anything. Teresa and Joe leave. In her interview, Teresa says she’s glad there’s closure. She says she reached her breaking point, she’s had enough, and she’s done. She starts to cry on the way to the car, and does that fanning motion with her hand to dry the tears. She tells Joe its exhausting and he says it’s sad.

Next time, the Vermont trip happens. Melissa and Jacqueline argue, and some woman gets involved who I don’t recognize.

Fear the Walking Dead

Francisco, his wife Ana and little girl sneak around Colonia. They head toward the bus exit. The little girl is scared, and Francisco tells her to be calm and quiet. They go through the bus. Ana tells the girl not to look, and Francisco drags a zombie in and guts him. They put the blood on themselves and walk through the zombie horde. Nice crane shot.

The family goes to the outside. Francisco says they should be at another settlement by dark. They hear a truck and hide. Too late. They’ve been seen. Gang leader Marco asks if he knows them. Francisco says he doesn’t think so. Marco continues to question him. He talks to the little girl and Francisco gives him his backpack and asks him to leave them alone. Marco takes out a canteen and pours water over Francisco’s face. He knows Francisco is from Colonia and asks where the Oxy is. Francisco says they left it in Colonia, but Marco doesn’t believe him.

Ofelia is driving around who knows where. She kicks in the door to a restaurant and gives a zombie a hammer to the head. She makes noise to see if there are any others. She looks at the ocean view. She flashes back to when she was there another time with her boyfriend who’s telling her he’s taking a job in Santa Fe. He wants her to come with him and gives her a drink with a ring in it. She says New Mexico is so far, but he says her parents will be fine. He says he’ll talk to her dad and ask for her hand. She says she’s going to talk to her mother. They kiss.

Back to the present. Ofelia peruses a map and fills a gas can.

At the hotel, Madison, Victor and company get things going, putting on the electricity and fishing for food. Hector teaches Alicia some surfing moves and she talks about her brother. Hector asks where he is now, but she says she doesn’t know. She says he’s out there somewhere. She misses who he was, but maybe not who he is now. Hector says his brother is gone. Madison brings them ice water and tells them the generator is working.

Luci and Nick are in bed. There’s a knock at Luci’s door. A guy says Francisco is gone and he took his family. Luci is surprised that he’d desert them. Nick says he’ll help with the search.

Victor, Alicia, Madison and Elena are having some coffee – which must taste really good – in one of the hotel rooms. There’s a knock at the door. Victor answers and gets knifed for his trouble. It’s the mother-of-the-bride, Ilene. I gasp and say wtf? She babbles something about her daughter and leaves. Worst. Room. Service. Ever.

The ladies tend to Victor. One of the guests, Andres, says he had a year of medical training and Elena has Alicia get the first aid kit. Andres makes excuses for Ilene, but Victor says her grief is a little extreme. No vital organs have been hit, but they still don’t have what they need. Elena, Madison and Oscar decide to make a trip to Marco’s gang supermarket.

Luci tells Alejandro about Francisco leaving. He asks if she knew, but she says no. Alejandro says he’s a coward. Luci thinks Alejandro should speak to the people, and he tells her to gather their inner circle.

Victor tells Madison to keep the drinks coming. He thinks Ilene should be exiled, but Madison says she should be locked up indefinitely. It’s either that or the street. She says they can’t have violence and if anyone raises a hand to another, they’re out. She says it’s the only way this can work.

Alejandro makes a speech about how what lies beyond the wall is worse than death, a wasteland, the end. He says death will not take them if they stick together and have faith. He asks them to stand with him, and says they’re more together than apart. Nick looks unconvinced and asks Luci if Alejandro is okay. After the meeting, Luci tells Alejandro that they’re going out. He asks if she spoke to the scouts and she says not yet. He asks if she wants to follow Francisco. She says this is her home and her people and she wants to serve. He says to speak to the scouts then. Nick says if they don’t deliver the Oxy, the gang will come looking for them. Alejandro says they stay until he says differently. Yes, boss.

Madison tells Alicia and Andres to keep an eye on Victor. She says they’ll be back in two hours. She, Elena and Oscar leave in a truck. Madison asks what Elena and Hector were arguing about. Elena was hoping she could get his brother to come home. She says Antonio chose to stay with the gang and Hector won’t forgive him for it.

Nick asks Luci if she’s okay. She’s upset about what Alejandro said, but Nick says he’s just scared because the natives are getting restless. He tells her they have to get the people their meds. She says Alejandro has always known what he’s doing. Nick says the gang could come looking for them, but she says they stay, because she’s really stupid.

Elena, Madison and Oscar go to the gang supermarket. Elena asks for Antonio. Madison and Oscar set down a cooler. The guard says they can come in, but not the guy who’s with them, only Madison and Elena.

Nick visits Alejandro, who asks if Luci is all right. Nick says she will be, and Alejandro says she’s never questioned him before. Nick says if they don’t make the trade, he thinks the gang will come looking for them. He says the danger is now and real and out there. Alejandro gets testy about them not having faith. He says he never asked to be the one to make the decisions. Nick is like, so I should just follow you blindly? Alejandro says to trust him and says he trusts Nick. Apparently, not that much.

Elena sees Antonio and he tells her she shouldn’t have brought the Americano with her. He looks in the cooler and asks if they can get more fish. Elena tells him his brother asked about him. In the meantime, Francisco is upstairs, getting shaken down in Spanish. Madison asks Elena if they’re the ones being discussed, but Elena says he’s talking about a place called Colonia. As the questioning goes on, Elena translates and Madison realizes they’re talking about Nick. She starts to move toward the stairs and Elena is like, don’t do this.

Madison gets involved and asks if they’re talking about Nick. Elena tells her they walk away now or be killed. Antonio tells Elena to get out and don’t come back. Elena tries to get him to ditch the gang, but he says they won’t be there much longer.

Nick asks one of the scouts, Renaldo, to make the trade with him. He says they need water and Alejandro isn’t a rainmaker. Renaldo says Americans always want to fix someone else’s problems, but Nick says he just gives a sh*t. Renaldo tells him they’ll meet later.

Luci tells Nick that the people need reassurance. Instead of giving into fear, the people need to bring their concerns to Alejandro’s inner circle. Nick asks her to join him inside for a drink, but I think he means something else.

Andres tells Victor that his heart doesn’t have enough blood to pump to all the organs. Victor asks if he should write his will, but Andres says Madison will be back soon. Alicia takes over putting pressure on the wound. Victor tells Alicia she has a better bedside manner than Andres. She says she’s not going to tell him it’s going to be all right because it might not be, and he laughs, which is probably a bad idea. He says he changed his mind; her bedside manner is abysmal. They agree on not liking sugarcoating. He asks what she meant when she said she’d raised herself. She says Madison was busy with Nick and his drug addiction, and her father. He says she has Madison all to herself now, but Alicia says she didn’t want it like this, and she isn’t sure Madison sees her. Victor says make her then.

Nick looks down at the zombie wall. Marco is looking back through binoculars. It’s hard to tell if Nick sees him or he just happens to be looking that way.

Ofelia consults the map. She looks at her rosary and flashes back to being with her mother. They talk about their weekend. Ofelia says her father seems unhappy whether business is good or bad. Griselda says God whispered to her about this man and that he’s a hard man. She’s says she’s a hard woman, and they survived together and came there for Ofelia. She tells Ofelia she couldn’t imagine what they saw, the violence and the blood. They didn’t want that life for her. Griselda says that Ofelia’s father still has nightmares. They didn’t want her to live in fear and would have done anything for her, like Griselda would do anything for Ofelia’s father, because that’s love. Ofelia takes her mother’s hand.

Ofelia kisses the crucifix of her rosary and says she understands now. She starts the car and heads for the US.

When Madison and company return, Elena tells Alicia about Madison’s tangle with the gang. The neon light with the name of the hotel goes on, and Alicia tells Madison she’s inviting in the same people that they want to stay away. She says Madison risked everything for a rumor about someone who may or may not be Nick. Madison says she knows it’s Nick. Alicia doesn’t get it; Nick chose what’s out there over them. Madison says maybe he changed his mind. Alicia says she never changed hers and she’s there. Why isn’t that enough?

The hotel light is extinguished, but not before Travis sees it.

Next time, Travis is digging graves, Madison apologizes, Travis wants to make a break for it – Chris not so much, and Madison insists Nick is out there.

Sep17

September 16, 2016 – Good-by to GH’s Sabrrrina, Hello to Z Nation & a Few Quotes

Posted on September 17, 2016 by theresakp

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Alexis is sworn in.

Carly is trying to get Michael on the phone. She thinks he’s not calling back because he’s angry with her. Nell shows up at the MetroCourt for her first day as Carly’s assistant. Nina walks in right behind her and says Nell doesn’t look pregnant.

Michael talks to dead Sabrrrina. He tells her how he wanted to give her everything. Tracy comes in and puts her hands on his shoulders. Geez, I would be careful about startling anyone under the circumstances.

Monica wakes up. Jason says he’ll tell her everything, but wants to know how she’s feeling first. She says tired, but she’s not in pain. She asks what happened and he tells her about being injected by the hospital killer.

Paul asks Alexis to tell the court about what happened. She talks about wearing a wire to record Julian. He asks if the recording has the whole confession, but Scotty objects and it’s sustained. Paul asks her if she can tell the court what Julian said. Not quite the same as a taped confession, but it’s still pretty good evidence having an eye witness, or ear witness as it were.

Nell tells Nina that she has the wrong person. Nina says she was meeting a woman who’s giving up her baby for adoption. Nell says she’s definitely not her. Carly introduces them and Nell is happy to meet Nina face to face and thanks her. She says without Nina, she never would have met Josslyn and her family.

Felix is beside himself, wondering who could have done this to Sabrrrina. Dante says probably the person you’d least suspect. Well, I dunno about that. I’d suspect Paul of pretty much anything and everything.

Jason tells Monica that she was found in her office. She says the last thing she remembers was talking to someone about keeping the hospital open. The next thing was a voice telling her about a grandchild. Well, that sure wasn’t Paul.

Paul asks Alexis about the dagger. Scotty objects to everything throughout the questioning, and Alexis stumbles over some of her words and seems confused. She talks about the dagger disappearing from the PCPD evidence locker, and says that it had her prints and Carrrlos’s DNA on it. She found out Julian had taken it and asked him if he’d set her up purposely. Alexis flashes back to their conversation and spaces out a bit. She says Julian swore that everything he was doing was to keep them together. Paul asks what Julian did to make sure Carrrlos wouldn’t testify against him.

Tracy tells Michael about how much she loved having Sabrrrina in the house and that’s why she wanted them to hurry up and get married. She says Sabrrrina loved Michael and there’s no doubt in her mind that she would have said yes to his proposal.

Both Nell and Carly thank Nina for what she did.

Jason tells Monica that he and Sam are having a baby. She says it gave her incentive to wake up.

Paul asks Alexis about what Julian told her about the crime. She asks Paul to tell Julian to stop staring at her. Paul asks about Carrrlos’s murder. Scotty says he’s leading, but Alexis says no, Julian wanted to shut Carrrlos up. She says her answer isn’t going to change, whether Paul leads or not. Paul asks if Julian murdered Carrrlos and she says yes. Scotty says Paul is leading her again, and the judge asks if Alexis needs a moment because she appears to be under the influence. Alexis says no, but the judge has the statement about Carrrlos being murdered stricken from the record. I go, whaaat? and remember that Paul gave Alexis something to drink before the trial. I wondered what it was at the time, but she didn’t look at it weird or anything when she took a sip, so I brushed the thought aside. Maybe he slipped a drug into it.

Jason asks Dante if he’s seen Tracy and tells him Monica just woke up. Don’t get a doctor or anything. Dante says Tracy is in with Michael and Sabrrrina was found strangled. Jason asks if he thinks whoever did it was after Monica.

Michael tells Tracy how excited Sabrrrina was to get back to work. Tracy says she saved Monica’s life and tells him about Monica being injected. He asks if she’s okay and Tracy says Sabrrrina is the reason she’s alive.

Carly tells Nina and Nell about the argument with Michael. She asks Nina if she’s still considering adoption. Nina says she wasn’t considering it anymore, but figured she’d meet with the girl anyway and it looks like she got stood up. Carly tells her that Nell is going to be her personal assistant. Nina tells Nell she needs a better outfit and she’s there to help. She wants to take her to Crimson’s office because she’d fit the sample size. What is that now? A size 00?

Paul asks Alexis what information would have led her husband to kill Carrrlos. Alexis asks Paul to stop calling Julian her husband. She starts to talk about Duke and gets confused. Paul asks about Julian trying to kill her. We get mini flashbacks throughout the scene. Alexis starts to cry and the judge allows a ten-minute recess. Scotty tells Julian that Alexis is a basket case, which is great for them. Julian goes over to Alexis and tells her that no matter what happens, he loves her, because he’s allowed to just wander around the courtroom. Sam tells him to stay away from her mother.

Jordan asks Sonny what the what? He says he knew Alexis was ragged (ha-ha! that word again), but he didn’t realize how bad off she was. Jordan asks Paul if Alexis is doing this on purpose to throw off the trial. She goes out to the hallway and asks Alexis if she had a drink, and Alexis says yes. I still think whatever Paul gave her is what’s affecting her. It’s highly doubtful one drink would make her so discombobulated.

Tracy visits Monica. She says she’s glad Monica is okay and she was worried they were going to lose her. Monica says Tracy just wants to take over the house. Tracy explains that Sabrrrina found her and did CPR. Monica says Sabrrrina had a helluva first day and wants to thank her. Tracy tells her Sabrrrina was murdered, probably by the same person.

Dante says they have to figure out the timing.He tells Michael that they’re gong to get this guy. They need an autopsy and to get DNA samples. The sooner they do it, the sooner they can get moving on the case. Michael asks for a little more time.

Jordan is livid. She asks Alexis if this was the plan all along. Sam promises that Alexis isn’t throwing the case. Alexis says she had one glass of wine. Jordan says it looks like she had a lot more than that. Alexis says Julian is staring at her and she can’t think straight. She promises to get it together and Sam wonders if she’s going to be okay.

Sonny asks Paul how he’s going to fix this. Paul says he was hoping Alexis would, since they lost the confession as evidence. Everyone returns to the courtroom.

Paul asks Alexis if she alleges that Julian tried to kill her, and she says yes. He has no further questions. Scotty asks if Alexis knew that Julian had been implicated in Duke’s murder. She says yes, and he asks why she didn’t call the police when Julian was burning evidence. He asks why she waited until she got dragged in. She says she didn’t kill Carrrlos and doesn’t believe in violence. Scotty brings up some old stuff, like her running over that guy and murdering Stavros. Paul keeps objecting, and the judge asks Scotty to remember who’s on trial. Julian jumps up and tells Scotty to leave his wife alone.

Dante asks Monica what she remembers. She says she was in her office, trying to come up with a plan to keep the hospital open and the next thing she knew, she was talking to Jason. She remembers a smell of cologne or aftershave and recalls that she’s smelled it before – at home. Tracy wonders if someone who lives in the house has the same cologne. Monica says it’s not a family member, but maybe a guest.

The judge says the witness isn’t on trial and the next time, Scotty is looking at contempt of court. Jordan tells Paul something is happening at the hospital and she has to leave. Scotty says Alexis told the court Julian had nothing to do with Duke’s murder. She says that’s not right, he ordered Duke’s murder. Scotty says the only thing she’s said so far is that Julian loves her and would do anything for her. Scotty questions Julian trying to kill her, and she gets confused again. Sam jumps up and says Julian did try to kill her.

Nell comes back in a fabulous black and white dress that only really thin people can wear comfortably. Nina tells her they’ll expand her wardrobe little by little and leaves. Nell calls her a force of nature.

Michael talks ore to Sabrrrina than he ever did when she was alive. Um…she’s breathing and I can see it. Pretty soon, she’s going to get up just to get away from his voice. He keeps grabbing her hand and I can’t help thinking that she’s also been dead a while, but her body isn’t stiff in any way. The makeup is really good though. Jason walks in.

Dante tells Jordan that Sabrrrina must have figured out who tried to kill Monica. Tracy doesn’t want to support keeping the hospital open anymore. Monica has to agree. Jordan says there’s something they need to discuss with her. Monica says there’s no other choice but to close GH before anyone else gets hurt.

Now Felix talks to dead Sabrrrina, telling her how wonderful she was. And how now he’ll have to find another roommate. Just kidding. He talks about what a rock she was for him, and how she was his best friend and will miss her for the rest of his life. He puts the sheet over her. Marc Anthony Samuel is so good, even though I’m making fun of this, he almost brings tears to my eyes. We get a flashback of early Sabrrrina and Felix stuff, and the almost marriage to Patrick. Felix looks at the empty hospital bed.

Michael goes to Carly. She apologizes, saying she’s sorry for what she said about him and Sabrrrina. He says it doesn’t matter because she’s dead. Way to drop a mic, Mike.

The judge tells Sam to sit down and the next person who interrupts is getting contempt charges. She chastises the lawyers, saying it’s there fault for grandstanding. She asks Scotty if he has any further questions. He asks if Alexis expects them to believe anything she has to say, and she tells him she’s telling the truth. She steps down, then starts to fall down. Julian catches her while Paul looks on with a smug soap opera face. Paul gives great face.

Tomorrow, Griff asks Claudette for the truth, Michael tells Carly to stay away from him, and Nell sympathizes with a friend.

Z Nation

Doc tells us we’re going to see a flashback movie and puts on his shades.

We hear Roberta say that sometimes our darkest moments hold the key to our future.

We’re at a pool with a bunch of gorgeous women. A phone is picked up by a creepy hand with black nails. On the other end, “The Man” answers and says, “Just one more” and “24-hours.” He says that mercy has a different meaning where he is. He goes into a boxcar where there are prisoners with hoods over their heads. He tells them it will all be over soon.

The Man drives to a compound. He’s wearing flip-flops with a suit, wears one earring and looks like a bald Chris Reeve. He tells them he’s looking for a Dr. Harold Teller. He shows them a paper and says his is the last name on the list, the others are accounted for. The guard says they don’t know the doctor, but The Man says he’s founder of Mercy Sciences where they all worked. The guard accuses The Man of kidnapping people and says he’s nothing but an executioner. The Man says he’s just misunderstood. The guard asks for a badge. The Man says it’s the apocalypse and he doesn’t need a badge, making me laugh. He says he’s authorized to do whatever it takes to talk to the doctor. A zombie ambles by and he has it incapacitated and a mouth guard put on it, saying he’s “recycling.” The guard says the doctor died, but The Man has a drone photo taken yesterday. He’s better than The Real Housewives at having an answer for everything. A little boy throws something at him and gets knocked out for his trouble. The Man says if the doctor doesn’t show up in 24-hours, the child dies and it’s on them. The little boy gets thrown in the trunk. The boy’s sister asks Dr. Teller if he’s going to let her brother die. The Man also reminds me of a character out of a Dean Koontz novel. Like one of those government killing machines.

The boy regains consciousness next to an angry zombie. He pops the trunk and jumps out, running through the woods. He runs into 10K who brings him to the Operation Bitemark group.

Operation Bitemark is facing its own group of zombies. Cassandra is there, so this must be in the past. I get chills, I’m so happy to see the opening credits. which are similar to Ash vs. the Evil Dead. Zombie killing is interspersed with the credits.

Roberta wipes her blade. Murphy has his baby, Lucy, with him. The little boy says you gotta kill man. Roberta tells Doc to give the kid some water and says they’re not killing anybody. He can’t seem to drink out of a cup and caws at Murphy. Roberta says the apocalypse must be all he knows and asks if he has a family. He says a sister and she asks if she’s with the others who are in trouble. They discuss helping, but tell him they’re on a mission. The boy steals 10K‘s gun and runs. 10K runs after him and the boy’s sister pops him in the head from behind. She and 10K struggle and the rest of the group shows up.

Doc grabs the kid and the sister is gotten under control. Roberta says they’re going to talk. She asks what the child is so afraid of. The sister tells her about The Man and his list. She says he’s coming back in the morning and he’s going to kill them one by one until he finds the doctor. Doc asks what’s up with that, and she says some people say he’s some kind of avenging angel. It turns out the little boy was raised by crows and does a lot of cawing. He looks like a perfect Toby for Sweeney Todd.

Addie looks at the compound and says they could use vehicles. Murphy asks if now is the time he shows them the tattoo on his ass that says “never get off the boat.” They decide to check things out and Murphy says it’s time to really get that tattoo and maybe one for Cassandra.

They all head to the compound and go through an opening in the fence. The woman brings them through and tells the guard that they’re here to help. He wants them to go and Murphy says they’re not planning on staying. The woman tells Dr. Teller that they saved her brother. Roberta says he must be the man on the list.

Roberta talks to Dr. Teller. She asks why they don’t leave and he says it’s all they have left and asks if they can help. She says lives are at stake for them too. He says he knows they have other priorities, but his people have vehicles and food and can help in return.

The boy plays with a crow he calls “the old one.” 10K asks if the boy was really raised by a murder of crows. The woman says for two years the crows took care of him. She’s not really his sister, but found him a year ago. 10K introduces himself and explains his name, saying that he’s at 3225½ zombies, since one was only a torso. The woman’s name is Red. 10K says Doc says red is an unlucky color, but she says she’s still alive. She’s going for food with her not really brother and asks if he wants to come along.

Murphy rocks Lucy. He asks Cassandra if she said something, but it’s not her he’s hearing. He hears the sounds of zombies, but sees nothing except people. He puts the baby down and decides to look around. He tells Cassandra to keep an eye on her and feed her if she gets hungry. Hope she doesn’t take that eye thing literally.

Murphy walks quietly through the makeshift town

The Man comes back. He tells the boy he’s glad to see he’s okay. They were afraid the zombie had eaten him. He drops a body and says they had to show one of their guards mercy. He wants the doctor. A guard says The Man told them 24 hours and he says he lied. Each person there says they’re Dr. Teller, while the real one hides inside.

The Man says apparently Dr. Teller has made some friends and Spartacus is one of his favorite movies, but he and his clones are crucified upside down in the end. Roberta asks why he doesn’t leave everyone alone. He asks who she is and she says Dr. Teller. He says he’ll give them more time to think through the consequences of cooperating. He says have the real doctor waiting or he’ll find him through the process of elimination. He says don’t be a hero and Roberta says don’t come back.

Commercial break and I get excited all over again because I have no life.

10K and Red are about to leave and Crow Boy shows up looking like a 10K mini-me and follows. Doc asks if he’s supposed to be 5K, which is what we’ll call him now.

Dr. Teller discusses defense with Roberta and the others. She wants to stay and fight. He thanks them, saying they would’t have a chance without them. Addie doesn’t understand why The Man didn’t just overtake the place. Roberta asks what they want with the doctor and he says he doesn’t know. He says he was developing new pain meds from mold, but the lab is contaminated now. Roberta wants to see what they have in man power.

It’s not much. Roberta tells them if they do exactly what she says, they might live. She teaches them how to shoot and how to not waste ammunition.

Roberta talks about the silo full of zombies in Kansas. She says The Man likes messing with people’s heads, and maybe someone should mess with his. She asks if there are any Clint Eastwood fans in the group.

Murphy noses around the compound. He goes into a building where sounds are drawing him. There are creatures trapped inside that look like the zombies from Planet Terror. Voices in his head tell him to please kill them. He asks what happened to them and his head starts to hurt. He cries out and backs away. Dr. Teller comes in and asks what he’s doing there. He says the doctor has a zombie torture chamber going on and he could hear them crying out for mercy. Dr. Teller says they can’t speak. Murphy wants to know why they haven’t been mercied. The doctor says they’re not zombies but humans. At least he thinks they are

Murphy says he can hear what one of them is thinking. The doctor says it’s his wife, Sarah. Murphy tells him she wants to know where their son, Andrew, is.

Dr. Teller sys she hasn’t been able to speak for years. Murphy says he’s a zombie whisperer. The doctor says they’ve been exposed, but they’re not zombies. Sarah was his partner in Mercy Labs. They were genetically modifying fungus to find a cure. They were able to stop the virus from spreading, but it had horrible side effects. Zombies overran the lab, and the fungus went everywhere. It stopped the virus from killing them, but the fungus also overran their bodies. No one could bring themselves to mercy them, so he tried to keep them comfortable. No one thought hey’d live long, but it’s been four years.

Crows circle overhead. 10K teaches 5K how to work a slingshot. Obviously, no one eats crow around here. Except maybe metaphorically.

Lucy starts to cry and Cassandra doesn’t know what to do. Doc says maybe they should get out while they still can. Murphy says they should move on and let the people sort it out. He says it’s the definition of a lost cause. Roberta says if they leave now, the people will die tomorrow morning. She says they have a good plan of defense and maybe they can reason with The Man. Murphy is like, yeah right, and she says they have to be ready unless he comes back early. She says he wants Dr. Teller alive. Doc asks what if he won’t leave well enough alone, and she says sh*t will fly then.

Cassandra is breast feeding Lucy. Doc and Addie are mystified and Murphy asks if they don’t have someplace to be or something to blow up.

Roberta goes outside and finds 10K, Red and 5K. 5K slingshots a snake and offers some to her, who declines. Roberta tells them she’s checking the perimeter and they should get back inside. A crow finishes the snake.

Roberta sees The Man in the distance and follows him. Who is this dude? And why is he wearing flip-flops? She comes up behind him with a gun and shoots but it’s not him and the real man comes up behind her and knocks her out. Dammit, Roberta! You should have known it wouldn’t be that easy.

Addie looks for Roberta and finds her sword. The Man makes a phone call to the pool. He says to make sure there’s a transport standing by. We’re back where we started.

In the boxcar, The Man says it will all be over soon. Except for one prisoner – Roberta. He says she’s not going anywhere. She says they’ll kill him. He says maybe. She says the doctor would go but doesn’t want to leave his wife; she’s dying. He says everyone is dying and he has a schedule to keep, adding, let’s see how much her friends love her.

He says judgement is upon us but ultimately it is’t going to make a difference. He tells one of his men to keep an eye on Roberta.

Addie tells Doc that The Man has Roberta. He says stick with Plan A. They’ll want to trade her for the doctor. Murphy translates Sarah’s thoughts for Dr. Teller. He says either way he’s screwed, whether he stays or goes. Doc tells them about Roberta, but says they stick with Plan A, full tilt boogie. Murphy is a little distressed that Roberta is gone, but Doc is adamant that they follow through.

Plan A goes into effect. Operation Bitemark locks down the town. Red and 10K are outside with 5K on watch. All kinds of crazy stuff is happening. Sandbags are put into cannons, as much corrugated steel as possible is made into blockades, weapons are handed out. Everyone dons red suits and Doc wearing his red shades; there’s red everywhere. Murphy takes Lucy from Cassandra and stores her in a cooler. The doctor brings Murphy and Cassandra suits to shield them from contamination.

The Man’s guard plays solitaire. The Man looks at the compound behind his aviators. He says the good and the bad is about to get ugly.

Doc tells Dr. Teller to stay out of site until he’s called for, and let him do the talking. The Man’s caravan comes down the road. Everyone is ready. The Man says despite their best efforts, the people are going to put up a fight, and to remember why they’re doing this.

10K and Red see the caravan go by. 10K runs with the old crow flying ahead. The Man gets out of his car. Doc tells everyone to move out. He points his gun at The Man, who has worn normal shoes for this occasion, but has paired them with pants and a suit vest with nothing underneath it, which is kind of awesome looking. The Man unfurls a red handkerchief. A truck horn blows and he tells them to open up.

Doc tells him that he’d better not hurt Roberta. The Man says she’s not on his list, but Dr. Teller is, and he wants a trade. Doc says he wants to know that Roberta is alive. The Man tells the guard to put Spartacus on the radio. Well he can’t, he’s dead. Roberta says she’s still alive, but his men not so much, and she’s coming for him now. Doc calls The Man “Kojack” and says he ’d better be gone by the time she gets there. The Man says to send in the clowns.

A truckload of zombies is set free. Doc goes behind the barricade. I’m thinking this should be nothing for them, but these zombies are particularly enthusiastic and energetic. They claw and pull at the fence. Everyone inside shoots and some people have individual barricades that they’re inside.

From a distance Roberta and company see what’s going on, while The Man has a snack. The zombies get in, but are thwarted by the barricades. Roberta and the group get inside, but 5K is freaked for a moment and he and 10K get separated from the girls. There are zombies all over the place at this point.

The Man shrugs it off when he sees them coming. Roberta and Red join the others. The man pulls the truck horn and says, “release the kraken.” A bunch of zombies on chains come out. They’re wearing homemade metal helmets and their hair is sticking out in some places, so it’s pretty bizarre looking. A guy wearing a hood and brandishing a whip urges them on. This is seriously wild. They’re like a team of insane horses. They bust into the compound and everyone is like, uh-oh, what now? I say shoot them in the kneecaps. If they can’t walk, they can’t get to you.

Roberta says the zombies have been mercy proofed and Doc says that’s not fair. OMG – they’re just knocking down all the barricades and getting through everywhere. Roberta calls to Addie and says get ready to open up. Doc says, oh sh*t, and everyone moves out of the way. Roberta lights the cannons.

When the smoke clears, the zombies and whipping guy are down. Whew! That was gooood!

Doc says he’d pay money to see that again. Suddenly, The Man is there, cracking the whip with the dead whipmaster in his other arm. The mercy proofed zombies come back to life, Take them down at the knees, I say, or better yet shoot The Man. The Man shoots the chains, breaking them so the zombies go free. Roberta yells for everyone to fall back and get into the lab. They all go inside.

The Man calls for his live men, who come into the lab with guns. Sarah leads Dr. Teller, Murphy and Cassandra to the back. She leaves to help the others. They hear gunfire.

10K and his mini me get separated in an area where there are tanks of some kind, either for water or gas. 5K crawls into a pipe to get away from a zombie, but the bastard crawls in after him. 10K shows up, pulling the zombie out and giving it mercy.

The helmet zombies are going nuts bouncing off the walls. The live guys with the guns are behind them, using stun guns to control them forward. They go through the lab, kicking doors open. The Man stands outside, calling for Dr. Teller. He says it doesn’t have to end like this. He calls for Spartacus to send out the doctor and all will be forgiven.

5K shoots a gear into The Man’s chest with the slingshot. This doesn’t phase him one bit and he says he takes that as a no. 10K drags the boy out of harm’s way.

Sarah lurks in the dark of the lab. A few glow-in-the-dark zombies are on the loose. Roberta opens the door a crack and sees a lab zombie stomp the crap out of a gunman. 10k and 5k take aim, but are distracted with another attack. The Man gets into the building and sees the dead dude they left behind, picks up some duct tape and plastic, and continues on. I’m confused

Dr Teller brings Sarah in. She’s dying. I think. He cries and says he’s sorry. Murphy tells him she says he can end it now. He tells her he loves her and kisses her. Yuk! Zombie spittle! Murphy says he needs to mercy her and gives him a gun. Dr. Teller shoots her in the head. She’s still glowing though.

God only knows what they’ve all been exposed to The wall blows open and The Man walks in wearing a a plastic and duct tape suit. Very MacGyver of him. Murphy asks what his problem is. He says he has no problem with Murphy, Murphy isn’t on his list. He wants Dr. Teller. Dr Teller says he’s not going anywhere. He tries to shoot himself, but the gun is out of ammunition. He mumbles, “Goddam apocalypse,” and I laugh.

The Man says it’s time to go, knocks the doctor out, slings him over his shoulder, and walks out.through the hole in the wall. Murphy says that’s why they call him “The Man.”

No. It’s almost over.

Operation Bitemark sneaks through the lab. One of the helmet zombies takes Doc down, but he manages to shoot it under the helmet. More zombies pop out, and finally one of the gunmen gets eaten when he tries to attack Doc.

Back by the tanks, 10K runs from a zombie horde. He give 5K a knife. Oh sh*t! They’re trapped between the tanks and some cement barriers. They’re blocked in. So far, the zombies are too stupid to realize they could climb over the barriers (kind of like muskrats trying to get into your garden). They’re separated from the zombies, but there’s no escape. All of a sudden, 5K is gone.

Addie sees one the people she helped train lying there dead. Before she can grieve for two seconds, a helmet zombie comes in and she makes mincemeat out of it with her battleaxe, smashing through its helmet. It’s a little Monty Python-ish for a moment.

Roberta tells Murphy they’re going to make them GTFO. Operation Bitemark goes through the lab, killing what or whoever isn’t with them. They come out into the light. Roberta looks around and asks where everybody is, but there are no survivors. Murphy says he told her, never get off the boat. A helicopter flies overheard, carrying a boxcar underneath it.

The Man sits in a car watching the helicopter. He takes a paper out of an envelope and looks at it. A new list? He starts the car. 10K returns. Red asks where 5K is. He says he tried to find him, but he was gone. Red doesn’t want to believe it and runs for the gate. 10K runs after her. Cassandra tackles him and I wonder if this a foreshadowing of her death.

We hear Roberta’s voice say that the worst thing about the apocalypse isn’t dying or turning zombie. The worst thing is surviving. Red charges the zombie horde.

The helicopter goes over the pool and lands nearby. We see the creepy hand again. The people in the hoods get out of the boxcar. They’re led to the pool by one of the bathing beauties. Another one removes their hoods. They blink at the sun. Are they food? Does the creepy hand drink the blood of engineers?? Does The Man have a new list and will we see him again???

The old crow gathers with his murder. They pay respect to 5K’s body. A bizarrely poignant ending.

Next time looks more fun than a barrel of zombies. The zombies have weapons and the crew gets a real boat.

And where are Citizen Z and Pup?

I have to take a nap now. Not really. I’m going to watch this again.

Quotes of the Week

One of the worst days in America’s history saw some of the bravest acts in Americans’ history. We’ll always honor the heroes of 9/11. And here at this hallowed place, we pledge that we will never forget their sacrifice. — President George W. Bush at the Pentagon in 2008

If we learn nothing else from this tragedy, we learn that life is short and there is no time for hate.— Sandy Dahl, wife of Flight 93 pilot Jason Dahl, in Shanksville, Pa., in 2002

Expect everything, I always say, and the unexpected never happens. — Norton Juster, The Phantom Tollbooth

Sep12

September 11, 2016 – NJ Teresa Gets a Surprise at Her Book Signing & the Feared Dead Get a Surprise Plunge

Posted on September 12, 2016 by theresakp

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

We’ve already established that Joe #1 is getting mighty cranky the closer it gets to his time in the clink. Siggy says tradition is the glue that keeps the family together. She tries to educate her daughter in family history, but I think Sophie is more engaged with her phone. Son Joshua comes home and thinks he should get a car since he passed whatever grade he’s in. Siggy says all she had was a Smurf collection when she was young.

Dolores and Frank argue over the rules for their son. Frankie comes in and Dolores whines that he’s never home. He says since they don’t have a kitchen due to renovations, he’s been eating out with his friends a lot. Dolores wants Frankie to understand that he should be her shadow. Oddly enough, her son totally understands, but also stands his ground for a certain amount of freedom.

Teresa’s lawyer, Jim, comes over. Joe #1 is going to be in Freehold? That’s not far from me. They have a great mall. Jim tells Joe he has a tendency to be nice (!) and let the wrong people around him. I think this is a kinder, gentler way of him telling Joe that he’s an idiot for trying to let that felon into Teresa’s book party.

Joe #2 futilely tries to take care of his children. Melissa arrives home and he takes her to the movie theater. The one in their home. He tells her that he lost a big deal because he couldn’t make an auction, since he had to take care of the kids. She asks him why he didn’t call her and that she would have made other arrangements. She tells him welcome to the millennium and accuses him of being old school. She thanks him for manning up for his wife. He acts like she dropped out of a tree when they met, but she corrects this misconception. He tells her she brings in crumbs and he brings in the cake. The audience goes, doood! or at least I do. In her interview, she says she’ll throw the cake in his face. Go, Melissa! She says it’s not about money. She tells him he has goals and wants to feel successful, and he’s the one who taught her to work hard. She doesn’t want a guilt trip every time she walks in the door. She asks if she should hire help, but he doesn’t like that idea. She asks if they can drop it now so she can go see her kids. She’s done with this conversation.

Teresa and the two younger girls visit Jacqueline. Jacqueline wants the girls to be comfortable at her house again, since it’s been a while. Milania talks about a classmate who has autism like Jacqueline’s son. In her interview, Teresa says Milania takes after Joe #1 – she likes to act out, but inside she’s a softie. While the kids play, Jacqueline and Teresa have coffee. They talk about Nick’s autism and Jacqueline says they don’t know yet how functional he’ll be. The two of them hug it out yet again. We flash back to the ruckus Jacqueline caused when they last came to dinner.

Siggy visits Melissa, who complains about Joe #2 not liking her having a job. She says she’s not going to sit around eating bon-bons. In her interview, Melissa says that she would never let her professional life compromise her family life. Siggy says that a marriage is like a car, you have to put gas in it for it to move, but at the end of the day, Joe will wear the apron. Alrighty then,

Dolores joins the Wakiles for dinner, along with Rosie. Dolores talks about Teresa’s book party and Kathy tells her they weren’t invited. Rosie says they’ve barely seen Teresa since she got back. Kathy says she sent a text, but never received a reply. Kathy is concerned about her daughter, whose brain tumor is causing problems again, and she says that life is too short. She says true redemption is making peace and Teresa needs to put her namaste where her mouth is. In her interview, Dolores says that Italian family arguments are like a war. Rosie suggests they just show up for a book signing. Hmm… Probably not a good idea.

Teresa drags Joe #1 to a yoga massage. She says Joe is stressed, which is an under-statement, and she wants him to relax. She asks Joe what he’s told the girls. He says they’re not stupid and they’ve already been through it with Teresa. Teresa says she told them she was going to work to write a book. Joe says even Audriana knows where she was. Teresa says she’s not a bad person and the kids think bad people are in prison and she did write a book. Joe is like come on, they know. This is one of the moments that I think proves my point that Teresa was not smart enough to know what papers she was signing. I really do believe her about that one.

Dolores finally gets to the gym, and partner Maz isn’t thrilled that she hasn’t been showing up. She tells him about her dog dying and says she’ll be more dependable from now on. He says he can’t work this way and she’s letting a million dollar operation slide. In her interview, she says her fear and her comfort zone are holding her back. She tells Maz she’s going to prove herself. He wants specific advertising ideas to appeal to females. She wants to do a Saturday night ladies’ night and he suggests a weekend pass. She says she’s been there where you don’t think you deserve an hour to yourself and that’s her angle.

Melissa is making Sunday dinner for the family, including her sister and her family, and their mom. She thinks Joe #2 is missing pasta and having kids running around. She explains to her mom that things are different now and women want more. Her mom says it will work out with Joe. In his interview, Joe thanks Jesus. He says there hasn’t been a home cooked meal in months, but I’m thinking he’s exaggerating. In her interview, Melissa says everything she does is for her kids and husband, and she wants to be successful for her family.

Joe #2 insists he’s not old school, but he wants his wife at home. Melissa cuts that conversation short. The dinner looks wonderful and reminds me of Sunday dinners at my Aunt Agnes’s when I was a kid. We weren’t Italian, but my father’s sister married an Italian man who once bootlegged booze for the Mafia while she watched out for the Feds on the back of the truck. She could also cook, and the spread was amazing, everything from spaghetti and meatballs to kielbasa and sauerkraut, a staple of our side of the family’s Lithuanian heritage. Melissa asks someone to say grace and of course there’s always that one person who goes, “Grace!” The last time I heard that, I fell off my dinosaur.

Joe #1 compliments Teresa on the way to her book signing. She thanks him for coming along and he says this will be the last one before he leaves and after that, she’s on her own. She’s not ready to think about all that yet though.

Siggy’s ex-husband meets with her for a dinner out, celebrating Josh’s birthday. They got along so well as exes, she played matchmaker and he’s brought along his new wife and toddler. Siggy complains about how fast the kids grow and how Josh wants to be around anyone but her now. His father interjects that Josh has been complaining about privacy invasion, but it’s obvious they all care about each other and everyone gets teary and sappy.

Dolores is riding with Jacqueline and Chris to the book signing and tells Jacqueline about how Kathy feels. Jacqueline says that Teresa isn’t ready for whatever right now, and Dolores says she’d better be, because Kathy and Rosie are coming to the signing. As they pull up to Barnes and Noble, Chris says at least the police are there in case there are any problems. I think he’s joking. I think.

The book signing is pretty crowded. Lots of picture taking. Melissa and Joe buy books for Teresa to sign. In her interview, Melissa says she and Teresa have kept their word to be sisters. The two Joes chit-chat. Joe #2 asks Joe #1 if he’s ready. Joe #1 says he looks at it like he’s going to the military, which is a pretty good viewpoint. In his interview, Joe #2 commends him for not being a cry baby.

Josh is presented with the car of his dreams after dinner. He drives off, never to be seen again.

Jacqueline and Dolores arrive at the book signing. So do Kathy and Rosie, practically on their heels. I have to interject how wrong this is here. I don’t care if they’re family. I don’t care if they were close at one time. Let this woman get her bearings and for God’s sake, don’t descend on her in a public place. Teresa greets them all friendly, surprising us all. Kathy asks if she got the text, and Teresa acts surprised that she wouldn’t have texted back, saying some nonsense about her old phone and her new phone. In her interview, Rosie says that she thinks that’s a bullsh*t excuse, but she wants things to start fresh. She asks Teresa if the three of them can have lunch. Mic drop.

Teresa explains that her rime is precious. In her interview she says that they weren’t too nice when she went off to prison and said some mean things about her. Rosie acts desperate, saying what about just an hour, but again, I’m on Teresa’s side here. If right now, she wants to spend that hour with her kids while her husband is off at the pokey, that’s her business. Rosie says she wants them to be close again and Teresa says she’ll always be there for her. Kathy says why not lunch then? Rosie realizes how rudely they’re holding up the line and Teresa makes an apology to the hundred people standing there waiting. Rosie speaks with Joe #1 saying she misses him. She apologizes for what she’d said about them. Joe #1 tattles to Teresa about Rosie and what she’d said on New Year’s Eve. Rosie kvetches to Joe #2 about how they’re cousins and shouldn’t be distant.

Next time, Ashlee gets her proposal, Jacqueline and Teresa argue, Kathy’s husband and Joe #2 argue, and the cousin thing comes to a head.

Fear the Walking Dead

We’re back in the bar with Victor and Madison surrounded by zombies. Victor is going to town stabbing them, and Madison suddenly hears Alicia and stabs some other zombies. There isn’t much to work with weapon wise – a crowbar and broken bottles. Madison finds a cubbyhole where she and Victor drench themselves in zombie blood. Remember this trick if the apocalypse ever happens.

They walk out among the zombies, slowly stepping through the bar. She and Victor are able to separate themselves from the horde and get out the door. The truck is gone. Victor thinks the girls took it, but Madison says she just heard Alicia. They climb up onto a balcony while the horde wanders around below. They go back into the hotel.

Wherever they are, it’s pretty quiet. They rest on a staircase. Victor says Alicia is fine, but Madison says he doesn’t know that, and wonders why Alicia left. Victor says to survive. He gives Madison some water and says a tequila hangover can’t be helping. Wouldn’t they still be drunk? She hears Alicia again. They run back upstairs and let Alicia and the others in. Where we came in before.

Nick walks through Colonia to the infirmary, He goes upstairs to talk to Alejandro. He asks Alejandro if he has any compound. He tells Alejandro about what a buddy used to do when he was running low on funds and proceeds to cut the painkillers with powdered milk. Alejandro is concerned the people will know, but Nick says Alejandro is a pharmacist and he’s a junkie, so trust him. We watch Breaking Bad for a second and Alejandro says this will only get them so far.

Madison thinks thy should go after Ofelia. Victor says to focus on the here and now. Alicia says Ofelia chose to go because she thought they wouldn’t make it. Madison says they will make it. Elena talks about supplies and says the people left in the hotel still want her dead.

Madison and Victor stand outside. Madison calls for Oscar. She says there’s work to be done, nobody is leaving, so they might as well work together. Dude says drop their weapons. The do and go inside.

Nick works hard at cutting the drugs. Alejandro tells him to take a break. Nick asks what happened. He tells him Luci only told him that Alejandro was bitten, didn’t turn and that she had faith. He says he doesn’t believe in miracles. Alejandro says he calls it a leap of faith.

Oscar tells Madison about how they got trapped and how they’ve been rationing. Madison says the hotel has everything and explains how they can make the hotel into a home. Oscar says if they help, “that woman” can’t stay (and he didn’t have sex with her either). Madison says Elena did what she thought was right. The mother-of-the-bride says Elena killed her daughter, Madison says the sickness killed her. Madison says the next group who finds this place, and someone will, might not be so nice. They’re clearing out the dead and blockading the place and it would be easier with help. Oscar gives her the keys.

Madison and Victor talk on the way back. Madison is concerned about winning over the mother. Victor says her grief is driving her. He tells Madison that he’ll secure the place, but it’s not home. He had a home.

Nick tests the drugs and says it’s all good. Alejandro talks about how a boy stole from him. He doesn’t know what drug the boy took, but he was mistaken for a zombie and put in with them. He says he tried to save him, but was bitten, and Luci found him and brought him back. They waited for death to come, but it didn’t. Nick asks what happened to the boy and Alejandro says, zombie. Alejandro asks him to be brave, but careful. Nick thanks him for caring. They watch some kids play soccer with Luci and Nick joins in.

A bloody guy runs up to Alejandro and says “he’s in pieces.” Nick asks Luci what’s wrong and she says they found Pablo. Luci tells Nick that Pablo was her brother. She says Pablo looked for their mother after the apocalypse and helped her deal with it when their mother became one of the dead.

Hector suggests they leave zombies behind locked doors. Alicia says if one gets out, they have to start over and they need to clean sweep the place. Alicia goes outside and talks to Madison. She says at the rate they’re going, it will take weeks to clean the place up. Madison says they don’t have weeks. Madison apologizes for all her faults as a mother and Alicia starts walking into the water. Madison calls to her, and Alicia says they don’t have to kill the zombies and points to a sign that says no swimming – riptides. Well, yeah, that might sweep them out temporarily, but they’ll be washing up somewhere.

Alejandro gives Nick a cute little house, saying he needs the bed in the infirmary. Nick says he doesn’t need all this, but Alejandro says that it’s a gift for the time Nick bought them.

Madison tells everyone the plan for leading the zombies into the sea. Alicia doesn’t like how Madison is putting herself out there, but Madison says she needs her in the boat. Alicia tells her about how she saw the look-alike zombie and how she’s afraid of losing her mother, but Madison says Alicia isn’t going to lose her.

Hector and Alicia lead the zombies out of the hotel. Elena and Victor prop doors open inside, so the ones in there can get through. Madison give us more cowbell, luring the zombies by banging on a metal plate. She, Victor an Elena meet. Hector and Alicia separate, Alicia telling Hector to make sure he’s there for her. Madison cowbells the zombies out onto a long dock.

Oscar closes and locks the hotel. Alicia locks the side gate. We see quite a load of zombies shuffling along the boardwalk out to sea. The mother-of-the-bride looks on with disdain from the hotel. Alicia and company get an inflatable lifeboat ready. She and Hector take it out.

The zombies are getting pretty close to Madion, but the waves are kepeing the boat from getting close enough. Madison keeps looking over and wondering where the blip it is as she continues to cowbell. Alicia calls to her. She jumps off the side into the water. It’s a pretty long leap, about 40 feet.

Cool! Zombies following her like lemmings.

There’s a knock at Nick’s door. It’s Luci, saying she’s too tired to sleep. That’s a new one. He’s been reading a Spanish dictionary so he can talk to someone besides Alejandro. He says he wishes he’d taken it in school like his sister. Luci seems surprised he had a family and asks if she’s alive. Nick says he thinks so, as well as his mother, but his father died before zombieworld happened.

The crew at the hotel sit down for dinner. Oscar says his brother couldn’t handle it and is lying down, and Madison says he’ll come around. Alone, Victor goes to one of the rooms. The brother is in front of it. His wife is inside. He was the groom at the wedding. He talks about their courtship an says he won’t let Victor do anything to her. Victor says it’s not his wife anymore. He says the guy will never be the same, but one morning he’ll start thinking like someone new, the person who comes after. He asks what her name is. The groom tells him Jessica. Victor asks to let him help Jessica. The’re both shedding tears and it’s all poignant.

Luci opens her eyes and says she’s sorry she fell asleep. Nick says Alejandro claims she tests people, and she’s testing him? She kisses him. Is that part of the test?

The groom gives Victor the key to the room. Victor opens the door. There are zombie sounds inside. The door closes.

Next time, Nick says danger is coming (I don’t think you have to be a psychic to figure that out), Madison makes some rules, and Nick and Luci get it on.

Sep6

September 5, 2016 – A Lot of Housewives & a Little Z-Nation

Posted on September 6, 2016 by theresakp

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

My excitement can barely be contained – less than two weeks from now, on September 16, Z-Nation returns! If I was forced to pick only one show to feast on, this would be the one. (With maybe a side order of General Hospital.) While I enjoy both Walking Dead programs, Z-Nation has the sense of humor I love with my horror. For lack of a better word, I also think it’s more realistic and feel more investment in the more well-rounded characters. Chances are, the group you’d be running with during the apocalypse wouldn’t all be depressed and/or depressing. There would always be a Murphy or a Doc who didn’t always take everything so seriously. And it’s still just as relentless in excitement. Lots of fun guest stars too, like Anthony Michael Hall and Gina Gershon, both of whom were wonderful. I also have to admit to a TV crush on Citizen Z and Pup. (I recently discovered that DJ Qualls was originally a model for Prada. While I think he’s cute, I was like, whaaat?) The Sy-we-don’t-know-how-to-spell-Fy network had/has a marathon going on today and will probably have another one before the season premiere, so if you have love for the zombie apocalypse and haven’t seen it yet, give it a try.

No GH for us today. Since it’s a holiday, it was also a rerun. Moving on…

The Real Housewives of the OC

Tamra is planning some dune buggy riding during Eddie’s birthday event in Glamis and she’s buying helmets for all the ladies. She calls to see if Meghan is going, but that’s a no due to her pregnancy. Tamra thinks Meghan is being a coward, saying pregnant women run marathons, but I’m with Meghan on this one. Bouncing around in a dune buggy is not the same thing and she’s gone through a lot with the IVF. Tamra says Shannon is acting like she didn’t even get an invite, and she has the feeling Shannon wants to avoid Kelly. She calls Shannon next, telling her about Heather renting an RV. As soon as Tamra tells her who’s coming, suddenly Shannon remembers she has some lung issue where she has to avoid dirt or something. Geez, at least make an effort to create a good story.

Kelly does some shopping for the trip. Her only concern is Heather pointing a judgmental finger at her. She tells her husband about Shannon’s vow renewal and how Vicki wasn’t invited, which she thinks was mean. They look at windbreakers, and Michael makes a typical male joke about breaking wind.

Shannon’s house is finally in escrow, She says it’s been in and out several times, but this time it looks like a go. She’s thinking she won’t be able to pack in the thirteen days before closing. She asks the realtor about more time, but he says that’s not a good idea. I fail to grasp why she hasn’t gotten going on this already. They also have to find a rental, so she gives the realtor her laundry list of wants, which is a lot. Oh no! The rental won’t have crystals buried beneath it like her house does now. How will she survive?

Heather says all she knows about Glamis is that there’s lots of sand and no stores. Horrors! She meets with the RV driver. She was expecting the RV to be like Tom Cruise‘s movie trailer and is disappointed even though it’s got the look of a nice hotel suite. Heather also doesn’t cook, so she’s had her personal chef prepare some dishes. I liked Heather at the beginning, but she’s been working my last nerve this season.

Meghan and Jim have a doctor’s appointment to see if she’s pregnant. She’s glad he’s with her, since he’s been MIA throughout all of the IVF stuff. She says she’s scared to be a mom because she’s Jim’s third wife, and even though he had children with the other two, things didn’t work out. I’m not sure what she’s saying here. That Jim leaves as soon as children are in the picture? I’m laughing because Jim is one of the most emotionless people I’ve ever seen. “Hey, Jim! The house just burned down.” Jim looks at the sky and picks his nose.

The RV picks up Tamra and Kelly. Even though the RV isn’t up to Heather’s expectations, Tamra is impressed, saying she wouldn’t expect anything else from “Fancy Pants.” She’s also concerned about Kelly, who she says is like a rescue dog, who you don’t know whether will lick or bite you. Next, they pick up Vicki.

While on the RV, Kelly suddenly gets nauseous. Vicki has to hold her ears when Kelly throws up, since she’s susceptible to anyone else getting ill. What is wrong with this bunch of wimps? This is the last group who should go camping, or do anything other than stay at a 5-star hotel up to Dubai’s standards. Kelly calls her husband to give him the deets. The driver misses a sign and has to turn around. Tamra thinks Heather should have spent more money on the driver than the vehicle. The ladies sing Kumbaya. This is starting to remind me of the time I took a bus trip through New England with my grandmother and her senior group.

Meghan gets a call from the doctor. Jim yawns and I laugh again. The pregnancy test is positive. He says they’ll do an ultrasound in two weeks. Meghan asks if it could be twins, but the doctor says it’s too early to tell. Jim can barely contain his excitement. Not really.

The camp site is already set up and Eddie is there to greet the ladies. Tamra’s mother is also there and a couple of people I don’t know. Heather introduces her son, Nicky. In her interview, Heather gushes over the place, going on about how beautiful it is and confusing me. While Heather will be staying in the RV, Tamra has rented trailers for everyone else. Vicki goes around showing her grandson, Troy, all the fabulousness via her phone. Sarah, Ryan and their baby also make an appearance. I think Sarah might have another kid there, but at this point, there’s too many kids running around and I can’t keep track of them.

Vicki goes running on the sand dunes. In her interview, Kelly says she’d join Vicki, but Principal Dubrow would probably shake a finger at her. Ha-ha! Oddly enough, it’s Tamra who tells Vicki to get off of the dunes, because there are dune buggies flying around everywhere and they’ll run right over her. Heather scrutinizes Kelly in her interview, saying she seems to be on her best behavior, but it remains to be seen if she keeps her promise. In her interview, Vicki says she’d like to be a princess like Heather, but she’ll probably be working until the day she dies. I find it a little hard to believe that Vicki needs to work until she dies unless she wants to. Or did Brooks took all her savings too?

Meghan and Jim are at their house in a gated country club community. I wonder how many houses they have. I always find the concept of having multiple homes desirable, but it’s probably not as fun as it seems. Shannon and David are meeting up with them to play golf. Because they have so much time on their hands before they move. Shannon says she doesn’t want to pack and is an avoider. An avoider previously lived in my house too. Not only did we have to agree that it not be “broom clean” as stated in the contract and let her park her RV here for two weeks to get her moved out on time, but she was still here when we moved in. You read that right. She was sitting in a folding chair in front of a closet still full of her stuff. My husband’s aunt had a summer home nearby. I told my husband I was going there and having a beer, and when I got back, she’d better be gone. She was. I also have to admit, there were some cool things left here, like a set of Gilbert & Sullivan recordings on 78 rpm albums.

Eddie teaches Nicky how to ride an ATV. Tamra suggests he ask for one for Christmas, along with a personal desert. The ladies get ready for their dune buggy adventure and we see flash backs of Tamra’s terrible driving. Kelly complains about sand in her face and having to pee. You can dress these girls up, but you can’t take them out. Tamra tells her group to hold on and drives like the Tasmanian Devil. And flips the buggy. Nice work.

Heather tells everyoen not to move and calls for the medic. Vicki gets sick and Kelly keeps yelling for the EMT. Both Vicki and Tamra have collars put on them. The dune buggy ambulance arrives. The medics ask both Vicki and Tamra questions, trying to determine their injuries. They both get put on boards and a helicopter lands. Eddie leaves with Tamra for the hospital, but the helicopter is taking Vicki to Palm Springs. She’s feeling numbness somewhere. Heather claims to be in help mode, but I swear, as hurt as I was, I’d deck her one for saying things like “you’re okay” and “you’re strong” ten thousand times. She calls Briana to let her know what’s happening, but Briana is sick and can’t go there. Kelly’s helmet came off and she says she’s lucky she didn’t get hurt. Heather brags to Terry about how helpful she was, while Kelly talks to Tamra’s mother.

Kelly realizes later that she hurt her elbow and Heather gives her some ice. Heather calls Meghan and tells her about the accident. She says that Vicki is in Palm Springs and all alone, but that’s about forty-five minutes away from them, and God forbid Meghan might be inconvenienced. After she hangs up, Meghan gets annoyed because Vicki isn’t her friend and she doesn’t want to go and felt like Heather was pressuring her. Okay, here I’m on Heather’s team. She might not consider Vicki a friend, but she’s a co-worker who is all by herself. Not a good look.

Next time, Meghan tells Shannon about the accident, the girls call Vicki in the hospital, Tamra can’t do the competition, and Meghan and Heather argue, probably politely.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Jacqueline tells Chris about how she and Teresa got along on the girls trip and it seemed like old times. Chris asks if she’s happy that the weekend turned out well. No, she wanted. to fight. Kiddingnotkidding. In his interview, Chris says she’s happy now, but as soon as somebody says something stupid, it will go back again. That ought to take about five minutes. Maybe less.

Siggy visits Dolores. Sadly, Dolores had to have her dog, Boo, euthanized because he had kidney failure. Siggy brings flowers and a present. It’s tough for me to watch because I love my dogs so much. Dolores says she doesn’t cry easily, but this is very hard on her.

Melissa is stumped over an order that comes into the store. Her manager, Derek, thinks he and Jackie placed it. (He doesn’t know?) Melissa calls Jackie and tells her that she wants everything that comes into the store to go by her first. Jackie argues that not everyone is a size zero like her. In her interview, Melissa says it’s not as much fun as she thought it would be. Work never is. She tells Jackie that she’s stressed out and Jackie says welcome to owning a business, and tells her she doesn’t have to be there 24/7. She admits to not being good at delegating and Jackie suggests she take some time off.

Teresa – omg, one of their dogs has a magenta mohawk and stripe running down it’s back – tells Gia that she wishes she could come to the book party, but you have to be twenty-one. I guess it’s in a bar. Joe #1 comes in and Gia argues with him. In her interview, Teresa says Joe is drinking more and unraveling. She asks him how he’s doing and he says fine. She says she was all about making memories before she “went away,” and wishes Joe would calm down.

Siggy picks up her son from school and they discuss his upcoming ski trip with his father. She lets him drive, but kibbutzes the whole time and says once he gets his license, he’ll be lost to her. He tells her she has no limits and is loud, and she asks what he expects since she was born in a bomb shelter. I futilely try to figure that one out.

Teresa tells Joe #1 that he’s just like his father and he tells her to shut up. He’s seriously nasty and she tells him to please leave the kitchen. He says the only thing he’s going to miss is his children. Obviously, he’s not taking this going to prison thing too well. Teresa says that she feels like she has five kids instead of four. In her interview, Dolores says it’s in Teresa’s DNA that you never get divorced. Teresa reminds Dolores about the book party coming up. Dolores says she and Siggy are going together.

Jacqueline and Chris are having a poker night. Chris excited because Rosie is going to be there. She and Joe #1 hung out a lot when Teresa was “away,” but she got the brush off since Teresa’s return. I already figure this isn’t going to go well.

Melissa is dealing with her children when Derek calls her about a deadline. Joe #2 comes home and she asks him to help with dinner, but God forbid. He says he’s going to poker night and she says someone has to pick up their son from wrestling. In his interview, he whines that no one helps him with everything. He cuts out as fast as possible.

Rosie arrives at Jacqueline’s. She fells badly about some things she said about Joe #1 on New Year’s Eve. In her interview, she says something I can’t understand because so many words are bleeped. She’s not sure where she stands with Teresa and doesn’t understand what the wedge between them is about. I dunno. I guess discussing it with them is out of the question.

Joe #2 arrives and Rosie talks to him about the other Joe. He makes up something about everyone being busy. Chris calls Joe #1 who says he’s tired and in bed. He says they don’t need him anyway, since Rosie’s is a good poker player. She says she was hoping to see him. They hang up and Rosie wants to leave. In her interview, she says she wanted to see Joe #1 and doesn’t need this bullsh*t. Jacqueline says she doesn’t think he’s not coming because of her, but she wants to leave anyway. These people are incredibly clueless. Jacqueline explains to the guys that Rosie was counting on seeing Joe #1 and thinks there’s some kind of rift.

Rosie comes back. In her interview, she says Joe #1 claimed to have had too much to drink. She says she doesn’t know if Teresa had anything to do with it, but she feels badly for him. She tells the others about her stupid remarks on New Year’s Eve and that she feels guilty. Joe #2 calls Teresa and asks about Joe #1‘s absence, which she explains by saying it’s getting closer to his time in the pokey and he’s kind of freaked out. Chris says he’s glad that his family isn’t as screwed up as Joe #2’s is.

Siggy helps Dolores go through her paperwork. She’s been giving her bills to Frank, but Siggy thinks she needs to get some independence. Dolores says Frank has always handled the bills and she handled the kids. Teresa joins them, and checks out the renovations. Teresa says that “it’s” starting to get to Joe #1 and she needed to get out for some air. Siggy explains what’s going on with Dolores’s bills and Teresa says Dolores needs to start understanding what everything is about. Dolores says she and Frank have a symbiotic relationship. Teresa says she’s lucky to have Frank in her life, but that could always change. Dolores gets excited when she sees a check for cable over-payment. She’s seriously ignorant of her expenses.

Melissa curls her daughter Antonia’s hair for a father/daughter dance. She tells Antonia that she’s busy with the boutique right now, but doesn’t want their relationship to suffer. She talks to Antonia about what she wants to be when she grows up. Joe #2 says he’s a handsome devil and Melissa gives him a wrist corsage for Antonia. He and Melissa take pictures.

Gia and Teresa have a girls night and go out for sushi. Teresa says she appreciated Gia’s help when she wasn’t around and wants to do something special. Gia takes pictures of the food and calls her father a butthead. She says prison will be good for him. Teresa asks if she means the drinking, and Gia says partly, but he needs to realize what he has. Astute kid. Teresa says he makes the wrong decisions when he drinks. She says she thinks Gia is going to miss him, and she says she will, but she’s not too worried. Teresa tells Gia how proud she is of her. She does seem mature for her age, but she had to grow up kind of fast.

Chris wonders if Joe #1 is coming to the book launch party. He and Jacqueline hitch a limo ride with Dolores, Siggy and her husband.

Teresa is trying tot get ready, and Melania and Audriana act up. Teresa tells Audriana to get to bed and in her interview says that they’re acting out because they know Joe #1 is leaving soon. In the limo, Joe #1 asks Teresa how she’s feeling and she says she’s happy about the book, but not so happy about other things.

Joe #1 gets a call from one of his friends, but Teresa tells him that the friend can’t bring his 12-year-old son. Another deal breaker is that the friend is a felon. Joe tells his felon father friend that they’ll work it out at the venue, but Teresa says it’s a no.

The bar is pretty crowded and Joe #1 can’t get a drink fast enough. Everyone is introducing everyone, and Joe slips out. Teresa’s lawyer has to explain to Joe why his friend can’t come in. Peter the Felon screams at Joe on the street. I think he’s had a few drinks too.

Joe #1 is paged inside the bar, but he’s too busy outside to know. Lawyer James explains what’s going on to Teresa, while Peter rages on, yelling about the mob and the government. Joe comes back in and Teresa is introduced. Her book is number two on the NY Times best seller list. Teresa thanks everyone for coming. She says she wanted to show her daughters what she went through when they get old enough. She says the book is also a love story about her and Joe. She tells everyone she loves them.

Teresa’s lawyer says she’s number two and the Pope is number four. Joe jokes about coming back skinny as hell. Everyone toasts to everything.

This season, Jacqueline’s daughter gets engaged, Melissa has a fashion show, Joe #2 argues with Melissa, Jacqueline calls Melissa a “fake, phony bitch” (!) and embarrasses herself, Joe #1 tells his daughters he’s not dying just going away, and Joe #1 goes away.

Sep5

September 4, 2016 – Fear the Dead Stands Alone

Posted on September 5, 2016 by theresakp

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

No Wives tonight because Bravo is always afraid to put on any new shows when it’s even near a holiday, or the Olympics are on, or it’s raining.

Fear the Walking Dead

I’m watching the tail end of last week’s episode again, and now that I take a better look, Alejandro sure got a chunk taken out of him with that zombie bite. I like Alejandro, but I don’t believe for a second that he has the right idea. I wonder if any of these characters will ever do a crossover to The Walking Dead.

We see a wedding celebration going on in the hotel. A little prequel to the prequel. Everyone is having a great time and the bride and groom have their first dance. The guests chit-chat and the waitstaff looks bored. The father of the bride is called up amid applause. The coordinator asks the mother if everything is okay. She says no, they have to leave, as the border might close due to the “sickness” that’s running rampant. The coordinator tells a waiter to get the vehicles.

As the mother and father of the bride dance – the last one, she says – the father drops to the floor. Zombie infection or heart attack? The bride gives him CPR. Zombie gets my vote, since he just bit off half her face as a waltz plays in the background. The music continues over the scene, making it really eerie. The coordinator locks all of the guests in the banquet room. Remind me not to recommend her.

Travis and Chris are walking down a deserted road. Travis thinks they should look for shelter. Me too, since he’s not doing too well, limping along. They see a station wagon and break into it. Chris wants to look for food at a nearby taco place, but Travis is hesitant. He tells Chris that if he sees anything to come right back and tosses him a crowbar.

Chris enters the restaurant. He sees water and a can of beans on the counter, but he also hears voices in the back. As he takes the supplies, several zombies wander in. He dispatches them, and three live guys come out from the back. He jets.

Chris runs to the car and tells Travis to get going. It’s a really cool old wagon, turquoise and white. Must be a decent car too, if it started after all this time. They drive away and Travis tries the radio. Nothing, which should be no surprise to anyone. He tells Chris to check the glove compartment (or glove box, depending on where you’re from). Not much in there, but he finds a woven bracelet and keeps it. I assume this is being noted for some future reason.

Travis stops the car and tells Chris it’s time to learn to drive since there’s no traffic. Really? We’re doing this now? In the dark no less? Chris starts and stalls a few times, and Travis gives him instructions. No Chris, don’t look at Travis, look at the road.

Meanwhile, Alicia looks out of a peephole in one of the hotel rooms and sees zombies strolling past. She counts them by carving marks on the door. One of them gets thisclose to the peephole and makes bitey faces.

Commercial break. The Blair Witch sequel is in theaters September 16. They’re claiming it’s the scariest sequel ever, but that remains to be seen. And it won’t be scary at all if they keep showing me pieces of it.

Chris continues to do the driving. They see someone walking along the road and he slows, but it’s a zombie. Travis tells Chris driving is pretty easy, except for parallel parking. He doesn’t know the half of it if he’s never tried to park in NYC. Travis says he doesn’t believe this is the end. He can’t and he won’t. He says neither should Chris and they’ll get back what they lost, but not everything. You know that song Running on Empty? Well, they are and the car slows to a stop.

They build a fire in the woods and eat out of the humongous can of beans that Chris swiped. Travis asks if he remembers camping. Chris says his mom hated it, but Travis says she endured it for their sakes. They talk about what it might be like in the mountains where they used to go, and Travis thinks a place like that might be safe. Chris asks what they’re doing, and Travis says surviving. He thinks they should go to a place with a vantage point. Chris suggests the border, but Travis says it’s dangerous. There’s water there and predators will be looking for prey. Chris asks what happens once they find somewhere, and Travis tells him they start over.

Uh-oh. Here comes a truck and you know they saw that fire. Chris and Travis hide. No surprise, it’s the guys from the taco place. The leader of the group says they’re not going to hurt anyone over refried beans, but want to camp there and wouldn’t want to pee in them on the dark. Like I believe he’d be concerned about that, but it was funny. Travis and Chris come out and leader says Chris demonstrated his badassness, killing those zombies. They introduce themselves as Brandon, Derek and Baby James (is he a James Taylor fan or something else?) Chris claims he saved their lives, but Brandon says not so much.

Alicia bides her time, watching what’s going on below from a balcony. She quietly leaves the room and sees zombies down a hallway. She runs in the other direction, calling for Ofelia. Yeah, where’d she go? She pries open some elevator doors, but no car and the zombies are getting close. She jumps in and grabs onto the cables. Talk about badass. The zombies jump too, but they’re not very coordinated because they’re dead, and they fall. A woman appears at another floor and Alicia climbs to her. Somehow, the woman manages to pull her into the hallway. She puts a fire ax to Alicia’s throat and asks, “Where is he?” Who? What? The hell? It’s the coordinator from the wedding.

Everone sits around the campfire. Brandon says they’re the first Americans they’ve met since all hell broke loose. He tells them they’ve been trying to get back to San Diego ever since. Travis tells them they came from the north, and that San Diego is gone and so is LA. He says everything is destroyed up to the Continental Divide. Brandon says they’ll come back; they always do.

Brandon tells Chris he showed some skill at taking out the “wasted.” He asks where Chris learned it and Travis says it came naturally. Chris says it gets easier with practice. Travis tells Brandon they appreciate the food, but they’ll be out of there in the morning. Brandon asks if they’d like to join them. Travis says they want to carve a place out for themselves and asks if the guys can spare gas. Brandon says they can’t, but they’ll give them a ride.

Alicia realizes the woman is the one who put the “do not disturb” signs on the doors. The woman wants to know where Hector is. Alicia says she doesn’t know who that is, but her mom and friends are there. The woman says she only saw Alicia. Alicia says her mother needs her and she has to go. The woman tries to stop her. Alicia asks who Hector is. The woman says her nephew, but he went for food and didn’t come back. She introduces herself as Elena. She’s the hotel manager and the remaining live guests want the keys from her. She says whoever has the keys controls the hotel. Alicia asks how many guests are left and she says about a dozen. Alicia says if she helps find her family, they can help in return. Otherwise they’ll die there.

In their tent, Travis and Chris talk. Travis doesn’t trust the new guys, but Chris thinks they can use the help. He says they’re willing to share their supplies and Travis asks how come they have so much? He doesn’t want to be in debt to anyone. Chris thinks Travis just wants to look for Madison, but he says he only wants to take care of Chris, and thinks the guys are dangerous. Chris says maybe that’s what it takes. Travis says they’ll go with them to the next town, but that’s the end of it. They’re going to find their own car and their own place.

Alicia and Elena leave the room and Elena leads the zombies away. Elena goes down another hallway and Alicia leads the zombies to one of the rooms. Good thing they’re slow moving. She stabs the closest one in the head and goes onto the balcony. Elena closes the room door because she’s good at that. She goes to the next room and tosses a sheet to Alicia who uses it to climb sideways and nearly falls in the process.

Alicia asks what took her so long and Elena says she needed to make sure they were all in there. Alicia asks her to come downstairs with her. She says her mother would die for her, and now she needs her. Elena agrees to go with her.

They reach the banquet room. Elena remembers the wedding. She tells Alicia about how the father of the bride had a heart attack, became a zombie and attacked his daughter. Alicia asks what she did, and she says she contained the situation. The hotel was at capacity and she had the other guests to consider. She couldn’t let the sickness spread, so she locked them in. She starts crying as well she should, since obviously this plan didn’t work very well. She says it was supposed to only be until help came, but it never did. She says they died and now they hate her. Alicia says she’s seen worse and she promises not to let them touch Elena. They leave the banquet room.

Travis and Chris hitch a ride with the new guys. Travis sits in the bed of the truck with Brandon, while Chris talks women with the guys up front. Brandon tells Travis this is awesome – no traffic, no cops, no bills – the end times has made them gods. They see a farm up ahead and stop there.

Finding nothing but dust, they decide to check the barn. Travis tells Chris that they should stay there and make it home. Chris is not into that idea and says they need other people. He leaves Travis to check out the barn with the other guys.

They hear noises from the barn and it turns out to be a flock of chickens. They get excited because it’s protein. So are beans, but I’ll let it pass. (No pun intended.) Travis sees a makeshift graveyard. Most of the Suaraz family died in 2010.

Alicia and Elena walk through the downstairs. The doors to the bar are locked, but Alicia sees a bunch of zombies inside. She calls for her mother. The group of living hotel guests, including the mother of the bride (how’d that happen?) come out with Hector. They want the keys, but Alicia says not to hand them over yet. She asks about her mother, but Elena says she’s not with them so she must be gone.

Alicia says she doesn’t believe her mother is gone. One of the guests tells Elena to give him the keys and she can have Hector. Elena is afraid they’re going to kill her anyway and the bride’s mother thinks that’s a swell idea. Alicia tells her to hand over the keys like she knows what she’s doing. Elena tosses them and grabs Hector. Alicia busts the door open, releasing the zombies.

Travis joins the others in the barn. Brandon wants Chris’s help, but Travis wants Chris to leave with him. He thinks someone might still be on the farm. He’s right, because a guy comes in with a gun and starts speaking in Spanish. Brandon and Bro’s don’t speak Spanish, but Travis says this is the guy’s house and they have no right to be intruding.

Alicia sees someone from behind in the bar who looks like Madison. She starts to turn and Alicia thinks it’s her mom the zombie (and we do too, but not really). It’s not, and she stabs the lookalike in the head.

Speaking Spanish, Travis tells Mr. Suaraz to drop the gun, that he’s outnumbered. When that doesn’t work, he says they’ll go, but instead, Mr. Suaraz shoots Baby James. Great. He was the only one I could tell apart from the other two.

Elena, Hector and Alicia make a run for it. Elena opens a trapdoor that leads to underground hallways beneath the hotel, and the go down. While they run through the corridors, zombies pop out at them and it’s pretty tense, especially since it’s dark and kind of narrow.

Travis pleads with the bro’s, but it’s Chris who shoots Mr. Suaraz. Oh yeah, didn’t he stab that other guy on the boat and acted sort of creepy in general?

Alicia is in the lead and comes up to a door. The zombies aren’t far behind and she can’t get it open. She starts pulling at it and banging on it. It opens from the other side and it’s Madison, who grabs Alicia in. Elena and Hector follow. Victor slides something in front of the door to block it.

Travis is on his knees, watching Mr. Suaraz die. He’s obviously devastated. Chris holds out his hand and we see the bracelet. Travis only looks at him with the saddest expression I’ve ever seen.

Next time, we find out what happened to Madison and Victor, Alejandro explains how he got bitten, and it looks like Nick snorts cocaine, or at least that’s what it looks like. Hmm…did he make a deal with that gang?

On a side note, a little trivia about the hotel. On Talking Dead, I learned that the hotel scenes were filmed in a real hotel, while it was in operation. That must have been quite a feat, with falling zombies and all. Production had to stop when guests needed to go through, and there was one particularly troublesome older gentleman. Maybe he was bucking to get in a scene. They should have slapped some zombie makeup on him and pushed him off a balcony. That’s show biz.

The other interesting thing is that, while doing research on the character of Elena, Karen Bethzabe discovered that the children of the workers who built the hotel later became the employees of the hotel. It wasn’t just a job to them, it was their life. This helped her to justify why Elena wouldn’t have wanted to leave and protected the place so fiercely.

Another bit of info about tonight’s episode is that the bride was played by Sissy Spacek‘s daughter, Schuyler Fisk, and the mother-of-the-bride played by Desperate Housewives‘ Brenda Strong (Mary Alice Young). I thought I’d recognized the latter from somewhere.

Aug22

August 21, 2016 – NJ Wife Teresa Loses the Bracelet & Fear the Walking Dead Finds My TV

Posted on August 22, 2016 by theresakp

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Dolores is getting a “facelift” for her house. Frank has sent a crew (where can you get an ex-husband like him?), but she wants things done a certain way and is trying to get ahold of him. She wanted to gut the kitchen and he’s only refacing it. Siggy says she’s a hustler and a survivor who’s basically living off of Frank.

Siggy and Delores visit Jacqueline (bleh) who they think looks “adorable” shoveling snow. It doesn’t take Jacqueline long to bring up Teresa, make fun of her accent, and say that she’s passive/aggressive. Siggy says the two of them are fencing by hitting each other’s trigger points.

Melissa says when Joe #2 and Teresa have tension, it trickles down. She’s miffed that Jacqueline called him, and Joe says the girls constantly twist his words around. Melissa says he shouldn’t have gotten pulled into a chick fight.

Teresa is looking forward to getting her ankle bracelet taken off. You don’t even have to go somewhere for this – Joe #1 is cutting it off with a pair of scissors. The kids are having a snow day, which Joe says is good for them, not so much for him. Teresa is thrilled that she can now pick up her kids at school and do whatever she needs to. Joe roughhouses with Milania and Teresa reminds him that he doesn’t have boys and says he’s too rough with the kids. Joe thinks yelling at them is a better idea.

Melissa meets Jacqueline <sigh and eye roll> for lunch. She asks what happened with Teresa. She’s not happy with Jacqueline calling Joe #2. She says she wishes Jacqueline wouldn’t have put him in that position. Because she has no empathy for anyone else, Jacqueline starts waving her finger in Melissa’s face, saying how much she’s done for their family. Melissa thinks something’s “off” with her and tells her that she’s creating problems. Jacqueline tells her that Teresa brought Joe up first. In her interview, Jacqueline says that the new namaste Teresa is a con artist. Jacqueline suggests that she and Melissa just never bring Teresa up again, which is beyond ridiculous. Melissa is like, why does this have to be complicated? I’ll tell you why. Because Jacqueline is a self-centered moron who wants to dictate other people’s behavior.

Siggy’s parents visit her. She tells them how her kids are growing up in a different generation and talks to her parents about getting them interested in family and tradition. Siggy grew up in Israel. Her father was a Holocaust survivor and she says she comes from a family of survivors. Her father talks about how Fridays were always family nights and they made sure to have dinner together. Siggy says after her divorce, she let things with the kids slide and wants to change that.

Ashlee tells her parents that they’re young and cool. Okay. It’s her one-year anniversary with her boyfriend, Pete, and he’s coming over for dinner. They’re talking about moving in together and Chris says it’s a big commitment and makes it known that marriage is preferable. Chris says Pete reminds him of himself. In the kitchen, Pete confides in Jacqueline that he wants to look at rings, but he’d like her help. She gets so excited, she drops the silverware.

The Gorgas go to the Giudices for dinner. Melissa asks Teresa if her leg feels lighter. They talk about health topics and Teresa confuses an enema with edamame. I literally LOL. Melissa tells her about the lunch with Jacqueline. Teresa says she’s evil and tells Melissa about Jacqueline baiting her. Melissa thinks the problem is they’re both Tauruses, but says since she’s the ram, she’s going to butt them in a minute. Teresa says she’s done with Jacqueline and her innocent act. I agree with her on that. Jacqueline loves to act like she wears a halo, but she’s always spoiling for a fight or some kind of drama.

Siggy tells her son that they’ll be doing Kiddish (a Jewish celebratory meal) on Fridays from now on. She says she doesn’t want the kids to be “super Jews,” but she does want to start some traditions. Her parents are joining them. She announces no phones at the table. She says family and tradition bring you together.

Frank goes to Dolores’s house. She tells him she wants to knock one of the kitchen walls down. Frank agrees. She moves next to wanting a tile floor, but compromises when he says he’ll do a darker finish. She suggests he just give her the money, but that’s a no.

Teresa is holding a family meeting. She says she grew up not talking about feelings, and she wants her daughters to be able to express their opinions. She tells everyone to write down what improvements they’d like and Milania suggests no sisters. Her next best suggestion is for her sisters and dad to stop calling her fat, and tells Joe #1 he’s no one to talk because he looks pregnant. I guess he deserved that one. Teresa makes a promise not to answer the phone when she’s engaging with the girls. Am I seeing this right? Does their dog have a magenta mohawk?

Sophie says she has no social life without her phone. Siggy tells her that being connected to the phone is a disconnect with the real world. She wants her son to hand over his phone as well, but Siggy’s father says he’s a good kid and to get off his back.

Teresa feels the family meeting was a success. Tomorrow is Milania’s 10th birthday and she wants to do something special.

When Milania gets home from school, a pink limo is waiting. The family goes to something called iFly, where you get in a chamber and float around like you’re skydiving. It reminds me of that scene in Willy Wonka when they steal the Fizzy Lifting Drinks. It looks like a lot of fun.

Pete and Jacqueline go ring shopping. Neither one of them believe it’s happening. Jacqueline says although Ashlee is 25, she still thinks of her as a little kid. We flash back to Ashlee being a jerkface in the past and getting kicked out of the house.

Milania says for her 11th birthday, she wants to go real sky diving. In her interview, Teresa talks about Joe not being there for Milania’s next birthday. She says when they got married, she never dreamed she’d even be having these conversations, but somehow they’ll get through it.

Dolores’s dog, Boo, is having kidney failure and I can’t bear hearing her talk about it. Jacqueline shows up with her own sledge hammer to help demo the kitchen. I’m sure she’s good at wrecking walls. Dolores’s business partner, Maz, calls her up, annoyed that she’s busy with her kitchen and not at work. She wonders if she’s sabotaging herself. She’s been divorced 18 years, and in her interview, Siggy suggests that Dolores start standing on her own.

Melissa suggests a girls trip to Crystal Springs over the weekend. Teresa wants to know who’s invited, and when Melissa hesitates, Teresa asks if Melissa really expects her to spend her first free weekend with Jacqueline. Melissa says it’s just to put things in a peaceful place and her girlfriends will be there with her.

Meanwhile, back at the kitchen, Dolores and Siggy talk to Jacqueline, and Jacqueline asks if this is a Teresa/Jacqueline intervention. Dolores says letting time go by will just create more animosity. Jacqueline acts like she’s on board with that, but no way I would trust her.

Teresa’s book, Turning the Tables, arrives in the mail. She reads the dedication to her daughters out loud and starts tearing up. She’s been on the NY Times Best Seller List three times and Joe tells her it’s a great accomplishment. Teresa tells him about going to Crystal Springs to celebrate her newfound freedom.

Next time, the girls trip happens, Teresa calls Joe to come pick her up, and Jacqueline gets stupid.

Fear the Walking Dead

Great, I have to remember all these people’s names again.

Nick wakes up next to a dead body. Sophia is in the doorway and tells him that things changed quickly. She says there’s a group headed south and he should come. He asks if there’s a place to go for someone like Celia. She says there are places that embrace the dead, but it’s dangerous on the road. He decides to head north. She gives him supplies and tells him it won’t be an easy trip.

Nick begins his journey and there’s a song part. It’s pretty desolate, no other people or zombies. He sees a couple of cars that look like they were in an accident. He flashes back to a thumb wrestling match with a girl when he was in rehab. She tells him he needs to make nice with his parents to get out more quickly and suggests they role play with her being his dad. Nick tells his “father” about how he used to be there, but isn’t any more. He gets a little emotional and the girl hugs him.

Back in the present, Nick comes across a town. He enters a house. It’s totally empty, without even any furniture. He makes a fire and has some food. His back is to an open door, which I don’t advise during a zombie apocalypse. Or maybe at any time.

Someone enters the house and wakes a sleeping Nick. It’s a woman and a little girl. The woman screeches at him in Spanish while hitting him with a baseball bat as the girl cowers in the corner. Nick quickly gathers up his stuff and gets out.

Further down the road, there are more cars, some with zombies in them. Since zombies can’t figure out seat belts, he reaches into one of the cars for supplies. He finds a radio. As he fiddles with it, a Jeep comes up the road and he ducks down behind a car. The Jeep stops and some guys with weapons get out..

They see a nearly dead man in a car, moaning, and spear him through the eye. They find it amusing and Nick starts to get concerned. Right then, the radio makes a noise and the guys know Nick is there. He runs and they chase him, shooting at him. He serpentines through a wooded area. Great, now he’s lost his backpack and the radio.

Nick stops to catch his breath and comes to an open field. We get a crane shot and it looks like he’s in the middle of nowhere. I’m assuming this is an all Nick episode? Nick examines a cactus, kicking a piece of it off to get to the inside. He tries to squeeze some liquid into his mouth and is unsuccessful. Dude, just, okay, he’s opening it up and chewing on the pieces. But they don’t stay down. Bummer. He takes a pee and drinks that. (Sorry.)

Nick hunkers down next to an abandoned truck. We flash back to rehab again. He and the girl are waiting for their parents. Madison shows up and Nick tells the girl good luck. The social worker tells Nick that he’s meeting with his mom in private for a moment.

Madison tells Nick his father isn’t coming. He was in an accident coming home. It was a head-on collision and he didn’t make it. Nick doesn’t take it well. His friend hears him yell and looks through the room window as his mother tries to comfort him.

Nick awakens to a pack of dogs that think he’s food. He beats them off and climbs to the top of the truck. Good thing they aren’t cats. Nick is seriously having the worst luck. The dogs suddenly stop and Nick sees a load of zombies coming toward them. The dogs attack the zombies who don’t really seem to react. Okay, the zombies eat the dogs. I guess they’re just slow.

Nick is baking on the top of this truck and the zombies are still hanging around. They suddenly notice him and head in his direction. He hears a horn and then gunshots. I guess the zombies do too, and go toward the noise. Nick jumps down from the truck and grabs a belt off of a zombie to use as a tourniquet. He’s able to walk among them since he’s covered in zombie blood. He imagines a female zombie is the girl from rehab and she’s talking to him.

40 miles to Tijuana. Nick continues to shuffle along and here come those guys in the Jeep again. Talk about a rock and a hard place. The guys start shooting at the zombies. WTF, Nick? The zombies get shot around him, but he’s totally focused on the front most guy. They lock eyes. When the dude realizes it’s Nick, he gets distracted, dtops his weapon and ammunition and the zombies attack. The guy who is driving the Jeep takes off like a rocket. Can’t say as I blame him. The zombies move on after eating their fill.

A group of three people see Nick through binoculars. One of them wants to help Nick, But Luci, who seems to be in charge, doesn’t want to. Nick falls to his knees as the zombies continue on. He again thinks about the girl in rehab. They’re in bed together and he’s reading a book his dad gave him. They do some heroin, so apparently their parents wasted the money on rehab. In the present, it begins to rain. Nick wakes up and opens his mouth, thirsty for water.

Nick limps into a town where there are normal dog sounds, but no people. It’s pretty big, so I’m thinking maybe this is Tijuana. He makes his way to a drug store. Nick throws things around, looking through the shelves, finding nothing of use. He goes into a barber shop where he wraps his wound. The three people who’d been watching him come in. He explains in broken Spanish that the bite is from a dog and asks for water. Luci says she knows someone who can help him. She tells Nick, “Vamos!” and even I know what that means.

They go to a medical clinic, where Alejandro, a pharmacist who speaks English, tells Nick he’s working on an infection and tends to the bite. Alejandro tells him he’s foolish; death is not to be feared, but it shouldn’t be pursued either. Nick tells Alejandro that it was safer walking with the zombies than dealing with the gunmen. Alejandro asks why he came all this way. Nick says he wants to be where the dead aren’t monstrous and Alejandro opens the double doors. Nick follows him to the street.

It’s like a normal place, with people walking around and kids playing. Nick is mesmerized. A soccer ball comes toward him. He kicks it and smiles.

Next time, Alejandro tells Nick it’s not his place, Travis and Madison deal with a lot of violence, and Madison tells Travis he has false hope.

May23

May 22, 2016 – Sunset Shahs, Fearing the Dead & the Throne Game

Posted on May 23, 2016 by theresakp

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

Shahs of Sunset

Aww! Mike has a bulldog and he’s giving it kisses. Reza comes by Mike’s place and Mike asks him if he’s excited about his upcoming nuptials. Mike tells him that Jessica left. He came home from work and she was gone, calling him later and telling him she feels neglected. Reza tells him he sucks at being a husband and he needs to stop going out to clubs with his friends instead of paying attention to his wife.

GG is out with her cousin, Nima. She says she’s feeling much better about things since the camping trip and is getting back to her silly roots. They go to a bouncy house and jump around wearing monkey suits. And I don’t mean tuxedos, I mean onsies that are monkey costumes.

Asa and Reza go to the tailor, whose name is also Reza. He says it’s like John in Persian world. He’s getting fitted for wedding attire. MJ joins them. Reza is going for a pink and grey color combo, which is one of my favorites. MJ gets teary-eyed over the wedding plans. She’s not in favor of Reza springing a wedding on Adam, and in her interview wonders what happens if he doesn’t say yes.

Asa, who is wearing an absolutely gorgeous turban in her interview, says she and Reza are running on Persian time and late as usual getting to Palm Springs. They talk about Mike while they’re in the car. Reza says as he was writing his vows, he felt guilty for thinking better them than him. I guess everyone is running on Persian time because they get there first.

Mike meets Jessica at a restaurant. He says they’ve been going to therapy since she moved out. They’ve been taking things a day at a time, and he hopes everything eventually falls back into place. They order drinks and Jessica says she’s disappointed in life. Please. We flash back to when she and Mike were first dating. She tells him all he cares about is money. Well, maybe if she’d stop spending so much, he wouldn’t have to. Mike drinks a shot of Patron and I gag. I do not like tequila.

Jessica says Mike thinks being a good husband is only being a good provider. She says she doesn’t need all that, which is a surprise to me, since she just bought a three thousand dollar tea set. She starts whining that he had nothing in the beginning, yet she stuck by him. Mike agrees that he’s been neglectful and disrespectful of her feelings. He says he wants her to come home. She makes a stupid analogy about water torture and says she’s over it. Mike says pain tells you how much in love you are and that you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. What a poet.

Back at the “housewarming party,” Reza is wondering if Mike is going to get there. GG doesn’t want to get involved with Mike’s problems without being asked, and Adam is tired of hearing about it. Mike arrives. He wants to decompress and not think about his home life, and MJ keeps trying to bring it up. Reza has rented a party house for them to actually party in, since he doesn’t want to mess up his own place.

The group parties by the pool. MJ tells everyone about Tommy moving in and going to the fertility clinic. Mike tells her he thinks Tommy is moving too fast, as he’s the perfect person to be giving relationship advice. MJ basically tells him to mind his own business.

Asa says that this could be the best day of Reza’s life, or the worst, depending on what Adam’s answer is. She and MJ go jewelry shopping. MJ can’t believe he’s waited until the last minute to get a ring. Back at the house, Mike finds the tickle spot on MJ’s dog and makes her leg start going crazy. Reza picks out a platinum ring. Mike is having a hard time not saying anything to Adam, and is concerned that one of the others will get drunk and spill the beans.

Tommy makes it to Palm Springs and MJ is elated. Asa is practicing her part the wedding, and Reza is doing a facial mask. It’s two hours to wedding time and everyone starts getting ready. Mike is tired of MJ getting on his case. Reza starts to freak because his new suit fits tight even though it fit the day before.

Everyone gets to the venue and GG is having a hard time not saying anything to Adam. Reza is feeling sick and Mike says he felt the same way before his wedding. The group sits down for dinner. Reza says he wrote a tribute to Adam that he wants to read. He talks about Adam being the love of his life and Asa dons a special turban. She asks Adam to stand up and starts the ceremony. Even I’m nervous when they get to the I do’s. Adam thinks for a long minute and we go to commercial break.

It’s a yes! Asa pronounces them partners in life and everyone applauds. Reza gives Adam the ring and Tommy tells MJ they’re next. Mike is bummed because he screwed his marriage up so badly.

Next time, Mike and MJ argue, Reza does stand up comedy, and Jessica goes out with Mike.

Fear the Walking Dead

A gunshot is heard. Daniel wakes from a nightmare.

Celia tells Victor that Thomas died believing his lies. Madison tells her to knock it off. Celia says Madison isn’t Victor’s friend, she’s his fool. Victor wants to bury Thomas. Celia says he doesn’t deserve to bury her son and Victor says he wasn’t her son. She tells them all to be out by nightfall tomorrow.

Daniel finds Ofelia walking around outside. Travis is looking for Chris and Alicia says she woke up to him holding a knife over her. Delusional Travis refuses to believe it. He continues to look for Chris and finds a zombie with a knife in his head. He takes the knife. Meanwhile, Chris is wandering around with a gun tucked into his waistband.

Madison tells Alicia and Nick that Celia is dangerous and they need to get out of there. Nick says he can talk to Celia, but that’s a no.

Travis comes across another dead zombie. He hears noises inside an abandoned building and goes inside. A living guy pops out and Travis says he’s just looking for his son. He’s having a problem with his feet, so the guy gives him a glass of water, which makes total sense only if you know the guy doesn’t speak English. Holy! No wonder Travis is having foot trouble. He takes off his sock and his foot is a bloody mess.

Nick brings a zombified Luis back to the house. Celia says he’s changed, but he’s no less her son and tells two guys to put him with the others. She tells Nick that he understands and belongs here with them. He says what about his family and she says they’re not like him. He says they’re not bad people. She says they look at the zombies like monsters, but who’s the real monster? She says they can stay if Nick will be responsible for their actions. They can all stay except Victor.

Commerical break. Did I just hear them say this is the mid-season finale? Who came up with that concept?

Daniel tells Victor not to bury Thomas there. He says the place is infected, even the dirt, and Thomas won’t rest. He says Thomas will return and hate him for it. Victor asks what’s wrong with Daniel. Daniel leaves and gets Ofelia. He says her mother is at the gate waiting for them. A group of guys grab Ofelia and Daniel fights with them.

Madison says Nick has been different since they left Los Angeles. She says he’s obsessed with the dead and Nick replies that they’re not dead. She asks if he’s been talking to Celia. Nick says that she wanted her son back and that’s what he gave her. He says he can move among them like he’s invisible.

Victor continues to dig the hole. Madison tells him she knows what he’s going through and he gives her a speech about how Nick is an addict who needs something to be addicted to, and now Celia has influenced him. Madison asks where he’s going to go, and he says the boat, if there still is one. He asks if she wants to come with him, but she says not without Travis.

Travis is getting some better shoes from the stranger. He’s able to communicate enough for the man to tell him that Chris went thataway. When he gets close, it turns out that he does speak English and he tells Travis that Chris is in the bedroom, but will hurt his son if he doesn’t get Travis to leave. Travis opens the door and Chris has the little boy hostage and tells Travis to leave him alone.

Celia makes a speech at Thomas’s gravesite about how the world is being reborn. She’s a serious whackjob. She tells Victor it’s time for him to leave and he says he’s not done. She tells him it’s a long way back in the dark and he should hurry. Ofelia tells Celia she wants to see her father. Celia says he’s resting and he’s a danger to everyone.

Chris tells Travis everyone looks at him like a monster. Travis says he’s not, but he’s scaring the kid. Chris gets distracted enough for Travis to get the gun. Chris runs outside and Travis runs after him. They tussle and Chris almost cuts Travis with his own knife. Chris tells Travis he’s no good. Where is Carol when you need her?

Daniel is resting all right; he’s tied to a chair. Celia tries to feed him, but he won’t eat. He tells her the creatures she’s keeping are an abomination. She tells him to confess his sins and ask their forgiveness. He’s also hearing another voice and I’m finding that confusing. He tells Celia he has nothing to say. Celia says not to worry. She’ll take care of him and there’s a place for him there. She leaves and he sees his dead wife standing in front of him. I assume it’s a vision since she doesn’t look zombified. I also assume that’s whose voice he was hearing.

Nick finds Travis and tells him Madison needs him. Travis says so does Chris and tells Nick that he never saw them. He says Chris can’t come back now and neither can he.

Madison tells Celia she’s making a mistake and that she and her children are alive because of Victor. Celia says he killed her son and she’s surprised Madison doesn’t understand. Madison asks what about her son. Celia says he’s open-hearted and fearless, and the only reason Madison is there is because of that. She says the zombies are their responsibility to take care of. She says it’s a new world and wants Madison to see it with open eyes. Madison says she wants to understand.

Daniel has a conversation with Griselda. She says he told her his stories and unburdened his sins on her. She asks if he told her everything and he says there are so many, he doesn’t remember. She asks about the first one and Daniel flashes back to when he was a boy and shot someone. He says that was his first victim and she says the first victim was him.

Celia takes Madison to visit the zombies. She talks about them like they’re children. Ha-ha-ha! Madison locks her in with them. Good luck with that, Celia.

A guy comes in and unties one of Daniel’s arms so he can eat and he manages to knock the guy out and untie himself. Griselda says she’s waiting for him.

Victor gets walked to the gate and says don’t worry, he’ll hail a cab.

Daniel goes to the zombie den with a can of gasoline and spreads it around. The zombies just kind of stand there and he sees Griselda. He lights the gas. It’s so cool – you can see the flames reflected in his eyes. Madison sees the fire and calls to Daniel, but it’s too late. Victor comes by with a car and tells Madison, Alicia and Ofelia to get in. Madison sees Nick and walks toward him, even though the others are urging her to hurry it up. Nick says he couldn’t find Travis and asks where Celia is. Nick says she was right; they destroy everything.

Victor grabs Madison and Nick goes to join his new people. I guess this is one way to give Madison a new love interest.

FWD is returning in August.

Game of Thrones

Sansa gets a message. It’s from Littlefinger. Brienne takes her to meet him. He says he’s glad to see her unharmed. She says that’s hardly what she’d call it and tells him what an inhumane bastard Ramsay is. Littlefinger says he made a horrible mistake. Sansa says that ladies don’t talk about most of the things he did, except maybe in a brothel. Littlefinger says he’s sorry. She tells him that he was no protector. He saved her from monsters only to give her to other monsters. She says she doesn’t need him anymore; she and Jon are taking back Winterfell. Littlefinger tells her that her uncle, the Blackfish, is still alive and how she might need him to help her.

Arya does battle with the Waif. The Waif knocks her down and tells her she’s not ready and she should go home before it’s too late. Arya gets up and the Waif drops her fighting stick, but Arya still can’t beat her. The Waif tells her she’ll never be one of them and calls her Lady Stark. Jaqen enters and says she has a point.

Jaqen walks with Arya and gives her some history about the Faceless Man. He shows her the first faces of men and says the girl is one of them if she decides. He gives her a vial, says she’s been given a second chance, and tells her about an actress she is to poison, Lady Crane.

Arya goes to see a satyric performance about the Lannisters. She’s not too thrilled when they get to the part where the Lannisters behead her father, followed by an unfair portrayal of Tyrion and Sansa. Arya goes backstage and watches Lady Crane, deciding to poison her run. She reports back to Jaqen. She says Lady Crane seemed like a decent person, but Jaqen tells her death comes for both the decent and not-so-decent.

Bran and the Three-Eyed-Raven are having a vision where the Children of the Forest turn a man into a Whitewalker. When Bran awakes, he sees one of the Forest Children and says they’re the ones who made the Whitewalkers. She says that they were at war with the humans and made them in self-defense.

Yara comes forth to claim the Salt Throne. She makes a speech, but old dude stops her, saying that the male heir has returned, so she’s wasting her breath. Theon steps forward and says that Yara is the rightful ruler and revs up the crowd. Euron gets into the act and also claims the throne, making nasty comments about Theon’s manhood or lack thereof. Yara says her first act as queen will be to execute the man who killed her father. Euron says, yep, that was him, but Balon led them into two wars they couldn’t win and apologizes for not killing him years ago. Theon says Eulon wasn’t there because he was out gallivanting, but Yara was. Yara says she’s going to build the largest fleet ever and Euron says no, he will. He says he wasn’t born to be king, but he paid the Iron price.

The old dude puts Eulon in the water so he can drown and emerge anew. His body is brought to the shore and it looks like he’s done for good when suddenly he coughs up a bunch of water, and the group chants, “what is dead will never die.” He gets a driftwood crown for his trouble and says let’s go murder Yara and Theon. Too late though, they took the best ships and are headed out to sea. Eulon tells the crowd to build a thousand ships.

Dany meets with Jorah and Daario. She tells Jorah she banished him twice, he came back twice, and now he saved her life. She says she can’t live with him and can’t live without him. He shows her the greyscale on his hand and says he has to go away, but he’s going to end it before it gets really bad. She says she’s sorry, but he says he’s not because he loves her and always will. He starts to exit like Elvis in Flaming Star, but Dany stops him, saying that she’s still his queen and she commands him to find a cure and then return to her. She says she’ll need him by her side when she takes the Seven Kingdoms. Dany rides off with her troops and Jorah rides in the other direction.

Varys says it appears that a fragile peace has taken place in Meereen. Tyrion says they have to play up that Dany is responsible for that. Tyrion asks a Red Priestess for help. She says she supports Dany, and goes on about the Lord of Light and how Dany will defeat the darkness. Varys brings up how the Red Woman thought Stannis was the chosen one and look what happened. She says even honest servants of the Lord make mistakes. She says that everything happens for a reason and talks about Varys’s castration and how he heard a voice that night. She says if he is a true friend of Dany’s, he has nothing to fear.

Bran sneaks in a vision when the Raven is asleep. He’s on the other side of the Wall and sees an ancient graveyard. There’s an army of zombie-looking men that are frozen. He sees Whitewalkers on their horses and one of them sees him. The army starts to move and the Whitewalker grabs his arm. Bran wakes and the Raven says the Whitewalker touched him and now he can get in because his mark is on Bran. He says they all have to leave and it’s time for Bran to become him.

Jon says they need more men to take Winterfell. Davos says it doesn’t look good and Sansa suggests the Karstarks. She says that her father always said the North was more loyal. Davos says they still don’t want to get skinned alive. Sansa thinks that people will remember the Stark name and rally. She tells them about the Blackfish and Davos is encouraged.

Brienne wants to send a raven to the Blackfish, but Sansa is afraid it will be intercepted and wants to go personally. Brienne says Jon seems trustworthy, even if a little brooding (ha-ha!), but she’s not sure about Davos. Sansa says that he’s cool, and Brienne asks why she lied to him about how she knew about the Blackfish.

The group, including Jon, leaves on their quest with Tormund making eyes at Brienne. Edd realizes he’s now the Lord Commander.

Meera is talking to Hodor, when she gets a bad feeling. Rightly so. There’s an army of Whitewalkers outside the cave. The leader touches the ground and it makes a beeline into the cave. Meera tries to wake Bran, but he’s busy visioning with the Raven. The Forest Children throw their version of Molotov cocktails at the Whitewalkers, but all it does is start a fire that the Whitewalkers walk right through.

Yikes! The Whitewalkers are in. Meera tells Bran he has to wake up because they need Hodor. He hears her voice in his vision. The Whitewalkers are right there and bumping off the Forest Children like they’re swatting gnats. Meera manages to kill the head walker. NOOOO! The Whitewalkers get Bran’s direwolf. Bran enters Hodor’s mind and they all manage to get out. The Night’s King goes up to the Raven. In his vision, the Raven tells Bran it’s time and he must leave.

Oh man, these Whitewalkers are some kind of creepy. The Forest Child throws a fireball at the Whitewalkers and buys time for Hodor to get the door open and get Bran and Meera out. In Bran’s vision, young Hodor is having a seizure. He starts saying “hold the door” until the words merge into “Hodor.”

This absolutely sucks. While Hodor keeps the door closed so Bran and Meera can get away, the Whitewalkers attack him.

Next time, Bran on the run, Margaery stands accused, and Daario and Dany team up.

May16

May 15, 2016 — Storybrooke Finale, Dead in Mexico, Shahs Plan & Dany Rises

Posted on May 16, 2016 by theresakp

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

Once Upon A Time

Snow tells Regina that she doesn’t need to go through this alone. Zelena says she’s not going to, and Zelena can empathize, having been through it. David tells Zelena how sorry he is about Hades.

Violet approaches Henry. She says she’s sorry about Robin and that she was afraid she was never going to see Henry again. He says him too.

Emma tells Hook maybe he should wait outside when she goes to the diner, since Regina might be bitter over Robin’s death.

Gold tells Belle in the Box that her father was uncooperative about waking her and he’ll have to find another way. He says he needs power and messes with the Olympian crystal.

Emma sees Regina. The diner rocks (and by that I mean like there’s an earthquake, not that it’s a cool place to be) and Hook runs in asking if everyone is okay. Everybody is surprised to see him, since they didn’t think he could get back from the Underworld. Regina says only one person is powerful enough to rock the diner like that — Gold.

Regina says he’s done a tethering spell. Gold is trying to harness all the magic in Storybrooke. They surmise it’s to wake Belle. Emma says maybe Regina should sit this one out and Regina is annoyed that Emma thinks she’ll go all evil queen. Regina says fine, she’ll deal with things herself. She disappears, poof! in a cloud of purple smoke.

Henry tells Violet about Gold and how magic screws everything up. He says he used to think there was light and dark, but now he believes it’s all one. Violet says her mother died from magic. Henry asks her to come on a quest with him and she says yes. He calls it Operation Mix-Tape and says there’s one more thing they need, the pen. He writes that the crystal appeared in his hand. He tells Violet all the magic is tethered there and they’re going to destroy it.

The group is looking for Gold, and Regina is looking for Henry. Gold shows up and says Henry has the crystal and Henry has outsmarted all of them. Regina asks what happens if Henry succeeds in destroying magic, and Gold tells her that Storybrooke was created with magic, so what does she think? He disappears, poof! in cloud of grey smoke.

Emma follows Regina to look for Henry. All of the other characters in Storybrooke approach Snow with their worries. Zelena creates a doorway for them to go back from whence they came. Emma says they have to find Henry before Gold does.

Meanwhile, Violet and Henry are in New York City. Everyone goes through the door except our heros. Zelena is about to close it and something prevents her, something that looks like it’s trying to get in. Suddenly, the gang is transported to…somewhere. Zelena says they’re not in Storybrooke anymore.

In Boston, Regina and Emma get in a Volkswagen Beetle. Regina pricks Emma’s finger and the blood leaves a trail on their map, showing them where Henry is. Gold drives through the Queens-Midtown Tunnel into NYC. Violet tells Henry the city is overwhelming and he says he thought the same thing about Camelot at first. They discuss Gold and Henry tells her that his father had also been looking for a way to destroy magic and kept a journal in his apartment. He tells her she’s the only one he’s told about it.

In the beautiful forest that the Storybrooke-ites have landed in, they come across an estate. They ask a gardener where they are. The gardener says if he helps them, he’ll be punished. When David asks by who, a sorcerer pops out and says by him, and blows them all back with purple lightening bolts.

The gang wakes up in a dungeon. Although, geez, it looks like they could squeeze between the bars. A warden comes in and asks why they’re on his property. Snow says they just want to leave. The warden asks what the Dark One wants and grabs Hook by the throat. Snow says Gold is their enemy too, and explains what Gold is looking for. The warden doesn’t believe them.

Emma and Regina go to the apartment. Emma can tell that Henry and Violet have been there. Regina finds one of Robin’s books and gets all sentimental. There’s a letter from Robin to her inside. He says how proud he is of her and that no matter what separates them, he knows she’ll always do the right thing. Emma tells Regina sorry about before. Regina says she’s right, the evil queen is always trying to get out. Emma says she understands having fought the darkness, but Regina says while Emma was just at the precipice, she was consumed.

Regina says her first instinct is to rip Hook’s throat out because Robin didn’t survive, but she knows it’s wrong, so she keeps it in check. She says good always leads to loss for her, but she has to keep doing it. She talks about the horrible things she did when Snow was little. She says being a hero doesn’t matter because there’s no redemption for her. She has the curse of knowing good and evil and has to fight with it every day. Emma says she believes in Regina, and Regina says that’s because Emma is good. She says her fate is to be trapped.

Emma sees on the computer that Henry and Violet are at the midtown library. Gold waits outside the door of the apartment.

A librarian takes Henry and Violet to the rare reading room. His father was looking for something there, but never found it. Violet is skeptical that they can. A slew of Henry’s Once Upon A Time books are there, each containing different stories.

Back at the dungeon, the gardener, Albert, comes in. He says he wants to help them. He can’t let them out, but he might be able to get the magic they need. He asks to come with them when they leave. He says he’s a prisoner and wants to get away from the warden as much as they do. Zelena needs her wand fixed and Albert says he can take the pieces and put it back together in the lab. David is unsure about trusting him, but they have no other choice.

Henry thinks they came there for nothing. Violet says he’ll figure it out. She sees a chalice in a glass case and says Henry’s father never figured things out because he never visited Camelot, where the Holy Grail is the source of all magic. Henry busts the chalice out and it twirls a book around. Henry starts to leave. Gold stops him, but Henry says he’s not getting the crystal without a fight. Gold says too bad Henry is going to lose and puts both Henry and Violet to sleep, taking the crystal.

Albert goes to the laboratory. He puts the wand into a machine that looks like a Mousetrap game. He’s able to fix it, but the sorcerer comes in. Albert claims the warden wanted him to fix it, but the sorcerer says they’ll talk to the warden then. There’s a struggle and Albert turns into Mr. Hyde, who is also the warden, and starts talking about his other personality in the third person. He says Storybrooke could be the answer to what they’re looking for, and they’ve been stuck where they are for too long. He says the doctor isn’t the only one who will be going to Storybrooke; they all will.

Emma finds Henry and Violet, and the color turns to sepia tones. Henry tells Regina that magic has taken everything away from them. Every time it seems like they’ll be happy, magic wrecks things. He doesn’t want magic to take away Regina or Emma. He tells them he couldn’t find any answers. They agree they have to find Gold and they do the map/blood thing again. It doesn’t work though, because the magic is all in the crystal.

Hyde is twirling the wand around. He says he’s taking something that will give them the power they need. Gold talks to Belle in the Box in the hotel room. The room starts to shake and when Gold grabs the crystal, Belle in the Box disappears and reappears in Hyde’s hands. He says if the Dark One wants to see his wife again, he’ll have to do what Hyde says.

Albert, who is also Dr. Jekyll, wakes up in a straitjacket. There’s a note from Hyde saying he almost got free. Albert says that Hyde isn’t as smart as he thinks. He goes to the dungeon, says the warden has the wand, and unlocks the door, letting the Storybrooke gang out.

They go to what looks like a Moroccan flea market. Albert says it’s called the Land of Untold Stories.

Back in NYC, Violet tells Henry she hopes he has a good plan since they have no magic. They see lightening bolts hitting the top of a building. A room service waiter comes toward the hotel room. Gold answers the door and invites him in. There’s a pentagram and candles on the table. Gold doesn’t care about the food, only the sterling silver charger. Gold gives the waiter a hundred dollar bill and says things might get messy. The waiter leaves and Gold puts a “do not disturb” sign on the door.

Regina feels the vibes from the hotel. She says she might not have magic, but she still has a fist and Gold still has a nose. Ha-ha! She knocks on the door and tells Gold they need to talk alone. She says Emma doesn’t know she’s there. She says she knows he hasn’t been able to wake Belle in the Box yet and needs help from his best student. She says she’s ready to let the evil queen back out and makes up some story. She says he needs the evil queen and she doesn’t want to lose Zelena. He says maybe they can help one another.

Albert brings everybody to his apartment. He picks up some serum that separates the good and evil from someone. He’s going to use it on Hyde. The sorcerer comes in. Albert tells everyone to run as he turns into Hyde.

While Regina and Gold toast, Emma slips in. Gold tells Regina about how Belle in the Box was taken. Emma gets the crystal, but it disappears, poof! in a cloud of magenta smoke. Gold knew all along. He says Regina is who she’ll always be, guilt-ridden and weak. He takes something of Zelena’s from Regina that he needs for his spell, and plans on getting rid of Emma and Regina, since he doesn’t need them anymore.

Henry stops everything and works some magic on the pentagram table. Purple clouds happen outside the building and it seems like something has been sucked out of the room. Henry says he’s destroyed magic.

Hyde tells the sorcerer to go into the other room and injects himself. He separates into two people. Hyde tells the doctor it’s nice to finally meet him. He says the irony of being separate is that it’s going to destroy him. He tries to strangle the doctor and Hook comes to the rescue. David says the doctor risked everything to save them, so it was the least they could do.

Gold tells Henry he stopped him from rescuing Belle in the Box and everyone in the other realm with them. Henry says he did what he had to and it’s on Gold. Regina wonders what happened to Storybrooke, and Gold says it will be fine, he was just made that up to motivate her. He says they’ll have to work together to find who has magic.

Emma finds Henry in Bryant Park. Henry says before they knew magic existed, they were happy. Emma says it was just them then. Henry says because of what he did, they might not see their family again. Emma says Regina and Gold are working on it now.

Gold tells Regina he’s always failed to separate the parts of himself because he likes the darkness. Regina says she doesn’t, but Gold tells her she’s kidding herself an the more she keeps it inside, the more she’ll suffer.

They go to an herbal shop. Gold introduces the shopkeeper as “The Dragon.” The Dragon says he’s not in the business of helping hearts with such darkness as Rumpelstiltskin’s, but he will help Regina. He says it’s imperative she win for all of them.

The Dragon does a thing with a lotus blossom and they’re able to see Snow and the others in the parallel world. Regina says they’re in trouble. The Dragon says opening a portal is beyond his power. He says just because Henry thinks he destroyed magic, doesn’t mean there isn’t any; it’s everywhere. Emma says they have to believe and Gold says just saying it doesn’t make it so.

Henry is going to throw a coin in the fountain. He asks if Emma remembers the last time they were there and he made a wish. A few days later, the wish came true. He throws the coin in, saying he wishes his family was reunited. Each of them tosses in a coin and wishes. The crystal starts to pulse with light. Gold tosses in his coin, but Henry says they need more.

In the Untold Stories World, the Storybrooke gang meets face to face with Hyde.

Henry makes a speech about magic being real, standing on the pedestal of one of the lions on the library steps. He gathers a small crowd and asks everyone to make a wish and help them return magic to the world. Everyone starts throwing coins in the fountain. (Hmm…this might be a good way to make some extra cash.) The crystal gets stronger and Henry says, told ya so.

Coins start dropping in on Snow and the others. Snow tells David they’re not pennies, they’re wishes. All of a sudden, they’re in the fountain and immediately get arrested. Just kidding about the arrest part. Everyone applauds. Henry says they think it was an act and none of it is real. Emma says it doesn’t matter. For a moment, he did the impossible and made everyone believe.

Hyde is going crazy, smashing things. Gold appears. Hyde says now that he’s finally here, if Gold wants to see his wife and child again, he’ll do as Hyde says. Gold strangles him without touching him and Hyde says he can help him wake Belle in the Box. Gold lets go and Hyde says he’s learned a lot being the warden. He thinks it’s time they talk about a deal.

David says they can’t find Gold. Zelena says Regina wanted to be alone, but won’t say why. Snow finds Regina on the rooftop and brings her hot chocolate and spikes it from a flask. Regina says if she wants to keep the evil queen at bay she has to open herself to a lifetime of suffering. She says she wished the evil queen away at the fountain. Regina says the karma will always be there and it’s just another useless wish. Snow says maybe not.

Snow and Emma bring the syringe with Albert’s serum up to the roof. There’s enough for one more injection. Regina asks to be alone, but they won’t leave. Regina says the evil queen didn’t like Snow on a good day, so be careful. Snow injects Regina who goes through some changes, eventually splitting in two.

Regina faces herself. The evil queen tries to throw a lightening bolt at Regina, but Emma chains her. Emma tells Regina to destroy the evil queen and the queen laughs, saying Regina doesn’t have what it takes. She says Regina needs her. Regina says no she doesn’t and rips out the queen’s black heart. She says sorry and crushes it to dust. The queen disappears and only the chains are left.

Violet says she has to go. She tells Henry that her father is really from Connecticut and just ended up in Camelot. He said he’s glad she was born there though, since being a Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s court was no great shakes. She kisses Henry good-by.

Everyone else joins them. David says he’ll show Albert around. Emma tells Hook that she loves him and they kiss.

Henry tells Regina she destroyed the evil queen and asks how she feels. She says free. They take the crystal ad Regina works some mojo over it. It disappears. Uh-oh. Hyde appears and is like, thanks, trapped in a town without magic would be a bummer. He says he provided Gold with some information in exchange for Storybrooke. And he’s brought some friends.

He says he’s been looking for a place where all the lost and forgotten stories can play out. Regina says the story ends with him losing. He says darkness isn’t as easy to snuff out as she believes.

In Chinatown, The Dragon hears a bell. A trail of smoke comes into his establishment. It’s the evil queen. She says he was right about one thing, there was a battle raging inside Regina and she might have won the battle, but the war has just begun. She takes his heart and says the queen is back.

I’m guessing that next season, the Storybrooke characters will get involved with different stories from the books Henry found. Kind of like Sliders.

Fear the Walking Dead

In a chapel, some choirboys sing. The padre takes the podium. He talks about their faith being tested. He says that the evil that has befallen them wants them to turn away from God and to not to give into it. He says they’ll defeat it. They take communion.

Everyone goes out and gets guns. Thomas comes up and tells the padre they’ll be dead by the time they get to the gate. The people of the congregation start bleeding from their eyes. The padre says this was her, the one Thomas is trying to protect.

On the boat. Chris tells Travis he didn’t do anything wrong. Travis says they’re saying the guy Chris shot wasn’t sick and Madison is worried about him. Even if he wasn’t sick, Reed was a menace.

In the wheelhouse, Victor says they’ll be in Baha soon. Victor sees a boat coming toward them. Luis says the guy driving is Miguel, but he doesn’t know the other one. Madison has everyone hide. Daniel translates the conversation they can overhear. A negotiation is being made and Luis makes a payment. The guy wants to make sure there are no infected on board. There’s an argument and gunshots.

It gets quiet, and the group goes back up. Luis is dead, but Victor is fine. Daniel tells the others to stay and Daniel makes sure the people involved are dead. Luis is still alive and Ofelia wants to help him. Luis gives her a coin and says to give it to his mother. Daniel takes the coin from her. He says it’s nothing, even though he obviously knows what it is, and tosses it overboard.

The group goes to shore. The place is littered with piles of bodies. Victor calls Thomas’s name and runs into the chapel, looking for him. A bunch of zombies attack and the group fights them off. Lots of eye stabbing. Daniel has to stab an altar boy and can’t do it. Ofelia runs interference. A zombie grabs Madison and Chris freezes. Or maybe not. Is he pissed because she thought Reed might not have been sick? Alicia dispatches the zombie.

They take a truck to the gated estate. There are workers tilling the soil and such. Victor leads the way to the main house. Thomas’s mother, Celia, meets them. She asks about Luis and Victor says something about the military and she says he’ll find his way back. I don’t know if Victor is talking in code or giving her a story. A lady takes their weapons.

Thomas isn’t well. He tells Victor better late than never. Victor sees a wound on his arm and tells Thomas he’s sorry. Thomas says it’s okay, he waited for him. Victor says if he’d been there, he could have done something, but Thomas says maybe not. He helps Thomas up and they hug. He helps Thomas to his bed.

Alicia watches an old movie. Chris comes in and asks if she’s mad at him. She says she saw what he did. She says he was watching when the zombie was going to kill Madison and he did nothing. He says he froze and she can’t tell anyone something like that. She says what if she does. He says he doesn’t want to hurt anyone.

Nick comes to the kitchen. It’s not dinnertime yet, but Celia says she’ll give him some pizolli if he doesn’t tell the others. He says that Luis was asking for her and he wanted her to know. She says he has a “heavy smile,” and asks him why. He says he’s sick of all the killing. She says they’re just visitors and the dead have always walked among them, but now they can see it. Madison comes in and tells Nick the shower is ready.

Celia says Nick is special. Madison tells her that Nick is fragile and impressionable. Everyone is just being weird. Or weirder than usual.

Madison brings a tray in to Thomas and Victor. Thomas says he’s usually a better host. Thomas makes Madison promise to look after Victor when he’s gone. She says he won’t make it easy and Thomas says that’s why he’s asking her.

Ofelia tells Daniel it’s dinnertime and he says he’s not hungry. She asks if everything is okay and he says yes. He says to tell everyone that he’s tired. Alicia is falling asleep watching TV, which I imagine must seem like quite a novelty right now. Madison says that’s how they used to find her when they’d come home and she was with a babysitter. Alicia says she was afraid they wouldn’t come home.

Madison asks Travis what he talked about with Chris. She tells him about Chris threatening Alicia and what Alicia thinks she saw. Madison thinks that he’s sick. Travis says what if she’s right and she needs to help him help Chris. He adds that he’s noticed she leaves him out of the picture when talking about their kids. She says Alicia needs her tonight and Travis says he’ll stay with Chris. Maybe this whole thing is just getting to everybody.

Victor tends to Thomas. He tells Thomas to go to sleep, but Thomas says he can’t. Victor says the world was never good enough for Thomas and Thomas says he doesn’t want to leave him. Victor says he could go with him and Thomas says that’s very Shakespearean of him. Victor says there’s nothing left for him there once Thomas is gone, and his mother will look after everyone.

Daniel sees a kid put a dog into something that looks like a laundry shoot and is like, wtf?

Ofelia prays at the shrine. Nick joins her. She asks when he was in a church last and he says he doesn’t remember. She talks to her mother and says she’s worried about Daniel. She thinks he’s frail and has lost his way without her. Nick looks up and sees an owl’s face carved in a tree. It makes him remember when he woke up in the church in the first episode. Ofelia finishes praying and thanks him for being there with her.

Daniel sneaks around and sees the kid talking to a closed door. He asks the kid who he’s talking to and the kid says his mother. Daniel asks the kid to introduce him. Yep, as I thought. There’s bunch of zombies in there and this kid has been feeding them dogs.

Daniel goes to Celia and asks if she’s responsible. She says they’re family and she didn’t want to refuse them shelter, that they were being hunted. Daniel says she poisoned the parishioners and she says he’s being outrageous and needs to make peace with the dead. Okay, now what Victor said about Luis makes sense. She’s bringing communion wafers in to Thomas and Victor.

Celia sings a little Spanish ditty while she gives Thomas a sponge bath. She tells Victor that when Thomas was afraid of the dark as a boy, that was the only thing that worked. She says she never thought Victor was good enough for Thomas, but she was wrong. He asks how long it will take and she says not long. She tells him to sleep and leaves.

Nick sees Celia outside. She says Nick’s mother worries about him and he says he’s given her reason. Celia asks what he wants to know and he asks if they’re really dead. She says no and he asks what they are. She says they’re what comes next. Great.

Victor is in bed with Thomas and watching him. Thomas dies in Victor’s arms. Victor looks at the communion wafer, but walks past it. Chris gets out of bed and gets something out of a drawer. A gun? He goes into Alicia’s room where she’s sleeping with Madison. He takes a knife from the neightstand and a gunshot wakes everyone. Alicia screams at him to get out.

Victor has shot Thomas in the head.

Next time, Chris disappears, Nick walks among the dead, and Victor isn’t done

Shahs of Sunset

Reza and GG are at a bathhouse. GG gas to go through some medical treatments. Reza is of a “no man left behind” school of thought, and says people need other people. That’s what differentiates them from snakes. Really. He said that.

MJ and Tommy are talking about moving in together. They call the fertility doctor about the tests results. He says Tommy’s sperm count is low and it will be almost impossible to get pregnant. The doctor says it could be a wrong count though because of them having sex too close to the time of the test. MJ makes Tommy swear not to [insert favorite euphemism here] for a minimum of two days.

Jessica and Mike are going to couples counseling. This should be good. The therapist asks for background and Mike says they’re having marital problems. Great start. Jessica has moved out, but Mike didn’t tell anyone. He thought she’d be back in a few days, but it didn’t happen. The therapist asks if they’re in a place where they want to fix things and she’s there to help them work through it.

Jessica says she knocked herself out to show Mike how worthy and capable she was, but then the relationship bombed after marriage. Mike says he’s been working like a dog to be the bread winner and loves Jessica more than anything. She says she needs more than that. More than love and money? Mike says she’s riddled with anger and he feels like he’s failed her. I’m not sure exactly what the problem is. Did he cheat?

Shervin’s mom has come for a visit. She’s trying to cook for him even though he has no utensils. Awww! He has a cute little Pomeranian that he says is a chick magnet. GG is joining them for dinner. They talk about relationships. GG says Shervin has no game, only money. She says he’s looking for the perfect princess who doesn’t exist.

Reza and Asa get together. Asa is having a cat-themed retirement party for her mom. They pick up some fast food and head to Palm Springs. They’re going to pick out a restaurant for the surprise wedding. They check out a room that Asa says is stunning, but I don’t know if I’d go that far. It’s good for Reza though.

Tommy has his sperm count retested. MJ sits in a differnt chair this time for supersticious reasons. She also mentions that they don’t sleep on the same side of the bed every night. That seems weird to me. The test is better this time and the doctor thinks they should be good to go. The doctor says the longer they wait, the less chance of success. MJ isn’t quite ready yet though.

Asa goes to Reza’s Palm Springs place for a drink after they’re done with wedding business. Asa asks Reza what if Adam is caught off guard and Reza doesn’t get the reaction he wants. Reza says he doesn’t have a back up plan, because a back up plan is a plan for a failure.

Shervin is out on a date with Analise, who is Italian, but grew up in Australia. He met her in line at a coffee place. It sounds like Shervin doesn’t work too hard at any kind of relationship stuff. He says all he ever basically does is smile. He asks her something about “cheerio, guv’nor,” and apparently he’s not super bright either since they don’t say that in Australia. She says he must not go on a lot of dates and suggests he switch up his approach.

MJ’s mom, Vida, comes over with her dog Ziggy, who is looking like she’s recovered from MJ taking her to the groomer. Now she just has a purple pom pom on her tail. While they’re cooking, MJ tells Vida that Tommy moved in. Vida is seriously annoyed. MJ says things are moving too fast for her mother. She tells Vida about having her eggs frozen and she feels she only has another year or so to get everything into place. Vida says having a child isn’t like picking out a Louis Vuitton bag. MJ says she’s hoping to marry Tommy and Vida says she’ll get no help from her since he’s the wrong guy. And Vida ought to know.

Asa is preparing for the retirement party. Mr. Barfy makes an appearance for his favorite food, flaming Cheetos. Everyone dresses like a cat except Mike. He makes excuses for Jessica by saying she’s out of town. GG gives Asa’s mother a bottle of wine in a cat-shaped bottle.

Reza says Asa’s mom is also a sorcerer (wouldn’t that be sorceress?) and reads coffee grounds. He tells her about the surprise wedding and she says the grounds tell him to be careful and that the future is unknown. She sees someone who might interfere as well.

Asa makes a toast to her mother’s gangster ways. Reza asks GG what’s up since she looks like she has a glow. She says she’s been communicating better and it’s taken her to good places. MJ asks Mike about Jessica and he says he likes MJ’s shoes. He walks away from the table, but MJ follows. Mike tells her that he realizes Jessica thought he would change when they got married. He says they got in a huge argument, and when he got home from work the next day, she’d gone to her parents. MJ feels hurt because she didn’t realize it was a facade, which I don’t understand at all. Mike starts whining about how hard it is and how he wants Jessica to come home. Reza thinks it’s bizarre after only six months. Oddly enough, GG is the voice of reason, telling MJ it’s none of her business. MJ keeps repeating that Mike’s wife left him and Mike finally tells her to shut up, because he can hear her from halfway across the yard. He wonders who made her a marriage counselor when she has her own issues.

It’s time to cut the cake. It’s a huge white cat. MJ decides to go home and toddles off before Asa smears icing all over her mom’s face. Asa follows MJ outside. MJ says she’s done with Mike’s shennanigans and Reza says she’s had over a fifth of tequila. Yikes! GG says and everyone keeps calling her crazy.

Next time, the Shahs dress up in monkey suits (and I don’t mean tuxedos, I mean monkey suits), Tommy tells MJ to quit bothering Mike, and the surprise wedding happens…or does it?

Game of Thrones

Edd picks up his sword. He asks Jon where he’s going and Jon says south. He asks what Jon is going to do and Jon says get warm. Edd asks how Jon can leave them now when he knows what’s coming? Jon says his own brothers killed him, so how can Edd expect him to stay?.

Brienne, Pod and Sansa come to the gate. Yay! They finally made it somewhere. Jon comes out. He and Sansa hug.

Sansa has some soup and she and Jon make small talk. He says they should never have left Winterfell. Sansa says she was awful as a kid, and wishes she could change everything. She makes him forgive her. Sansa asks where Jon is going and he says she’s coming too; if he doesn’t look after her, their father’s ghost will haunt him. Sansa thinks they should take back Winterfell. Jon is tired of fighting. He says it’s all he’s done since he left home. She says if they don’t take back the north, they’ll never be safe. She wants him to help, but is willing to do it herself.

Davos approaches the Red Woman. She says Jon is the prince who was promised and she’s going to do what he commands. Davos mentions that she’d thought Stannis was the promised prince. The Red Woman tells him about the battle. When Davos asks about Princess Shireen, Brienne joins the, saying she saw what happened. I’ll bet that made the Red Woman sweat, but Davos doesn’t pursue it. Brienne also tells them she’s the one who executed Stannis.

Robin is doing target practice and Petyr drives up. He’s brought Robin a falcon. Lord Royce asks about Sansa and Petyr tells him what happened, but wonders how his secrets about Sansa got out. Royce says he’s always been faithful and Robin asks Petyr if they can trust him. Petyr says he would make a capable commander and deserves another chance. Robin agrees.

Petyr tells Robin that Sansa escaped, and was headed for Castle Black, but she won’t be safe with the Boltons after her. Robin says they should help her. Petyr says to get everyone ready for battle.

Tyrion talks to Grey Worm and Missandei about negotiations. Missandei says he hasn’t been there long enough to understand how it works.

One of the men tells Tyrion they came to meet the queen, and instead they get a eunich and a dwarf. He says Dany was offered ships and she refused them. Missandei says it’s because of the slavery situation. Tyrion says they don’t need slaves to make money. He says he grew up richer than any of them and there haven’t been slaves in Westeros for hundreds of years. Tyrion says Dany will compromise, giving them seven years to end the practice, and they’ll be compensated. They’re also to cut off support of the Sons of the Harpy. The man says they don’t support them, and Tyrion says all the same, they’re to stop their support. He gives them some girls to seal the deal.

Tyrion talks to the head guys who are pissed at him meeting with the slavers. He says the queen chose him as her adviser and as soon as she returns — but he’s interrupted as there’s concern she won’t return. Grey Worm says if there’s a chance for peace, they should go for it. Missandei says we make peace with our enemies not our friends.

Afterwards, Grey Worm tells Tyrion that he’s loyal to Dany, not Tyrion, and he’d better be right. Tyrion says he does’t trust them, but trusts their self-interest. He says their contempt is their weakness and they can use it to their advantage. Grey Worm says it will end up the other way around the way it does every time.

Jorah and Daario are hiking the hills. Daario tells Jorah that he’s getting old for all this stuff, and that it’s hard for him to keep up with Dany and he’s a young man. They observe the Dothraki camp. Jorah tells Daario that they’ve taken Dany to the temple. Jorah takes his sword off, telling Daario there are no weapons allowed. Daario suggests sneaking in to cart off Dany isn’t allowed either, but Jorah says if they get caught, it’s better if they’re unarmed.

At nightfall, they sneak into the camp, which is really rocking and rolling with Dothraki eating, drinking and being merry. Jorah sees some men and pretends he’s a wineseller who got lost. The guy says they’re not merchants and a fight ensues. Jorah nearly gets killed, but apparently Daario decided to keep one of his weapons. Jorah says if anyone finds the body, the whole city will be looking for them. Daario covers up the stab wound by beating the crap out of the body with a rock.

At the crone camp, the girls sit in a circle and the head crone tells Dany she hopes Dany is allowed to stay with them. Dany says she needs some water and the crone tells her there’s no running from the Dothraki. Dany says she’d never do that and one of the girls escorts her to the well. Halfway there, Daario and Jorah pop out. Dany tells the girl to have faith in her.

The sisters come to Margaery’s cell and bring her to see the High Sparrow. He asks her where she’d go if she could leave. She says to her brother, her family, her husband. He says that would be seeking materialism and materialism is sin. He tells her his own story. He says he sought a taste of the high life and had an epiphany and how his life was a collection of lies. He left his life and never went back, not even stopping for his shoes.

The High Sparrow takes Margaery to her brother. Loras starts to weep and she tells him he has to stay strong and that he’s the future of their family. He says he’s not strong and begs for help. She says they want her to help tear him down; that’s the only reason the High Sparrow is letting her see him. He dissolves into a puddle of tears and isn’t much help.

The Grand Maester is speaking with Tommen and Cersei kicks him out. Tommen says they need to be careful in dealing with the High Sparrow. He’s concerned about Margaery. Cersei is only concerned about herself, but says Margaery’s safety is paramount. Tommen says Cersei doesn’t like Margaery, but Cersei says it doesn’t matter, a queen should command respect.

Tommen tells Cersei that the High Sparrow told him something in confidence and Cersei says he can trust her. Hahahahahahaha!

Cersei cancels the small councel meeting. She tells Olenna that the High Sparrow has their fate in his grubby, little hands. She says her trial is coming up, but before that, Queen Margaery is supposed to have an atonement walk. Olenna is like, no way, and Cersei says that’s right. Jaime says they’re going to fight the High Sparrow. Cersei tells the King’s Hand to stand aside and his son will be avenged. Olenna says people will die no matter what route is taken, so better them than us. Amen, sista!

Theon finally makes it home. His sister says she didn’t believe it when she was told. Yara says good men died trying to rescue him. She says he was her brother, so she risked everything for him and he betrayed her. Theon says Ramsay broke him into a thousand pieces. She says they got one of the pieces and that’s why they tried to free him. Yara thinks he’s just there to claim the throne. He says he doesn’t want to be king. She asks what he wants. He says that she should rule. Damn straight.

Creepy Ramsay peels an apple. The guard shoves Osha into his room. He asks if she knows his banner. She says yes, the flayed man, and asks if they eat them afterward. Ha-ha! He says no, and she says she’s seen worse. She makes like the Starks had turned her into a slave and she thought she could ransom Rickon. He says Rickon is no longer hers, and why should he keep her around? She puts the moves on him, and he says she’s a good talker. He tells her he knows all about her past with the Starks and who helped the boys escape. Then he slits her throat. Bye, Osha.

Brienne watches Tormund eat. Edd says sorry about the food; it’s not what they’re known for. Somene come in with a message for the Lord Commander. Jon says that’s not him anymore, but takes it anyway. It’s from Ramsay, telling him to come and try to take Winterfell. He has Rickon and the skin of his direwolf is on the floor. He wants his wife back. He goes on to say how he’s going to torture everyone in graphic detail. Jon can’t read any more and Sansa reads the rest. It’s signed the Lord of Winterfell, so they know Roose is dead.

Sansa says a monster has taken their home and their brother, and they have to fight to save them both. She tells Jon people will fight for him if he only asks.

At the Dothraki camp, the Khal and his guys discuss the dead guy they found. Dany is brought in. The Khals buddy says she’s a midget. He says someone is offering 10,000 horses for her and he’s not sure if they should let her stay with the crones or use her as a whore. Dany asks if they’d like her opinion. The Khal says she has no voice unless she is Dosh Kahleen. They talk about Khal Drogo and the plans he had. She says his plans were bigger and better than any of the piddling stuff they’re doing. She says none of them are fit to lead the Dothraki, but she is.

The Khal says fine, they’ll take turns with her and then give their horses a turn. He calls her crazy. She tells him he’s gong to die and knocks over the fire pit. The whole places starts burning. The men are all running around like crazy. It’s like Carrie — the doors are locked and everything is going up in flames, with Dany in the middle of it, cool as a cucumber.

A crowd gathers outside and Dany emerges just like she did the first time, nakey and untouched in the middle of a massive blaze. The crowd bows down to her. Jorah and Daario come forward, amazed. They too bow down. Very impressive. A beautiful and emotional scene.

Next time, Petyr and Sansa meet, Yara claims the iron throne, and Bran has a helluva vision.