Category Archives: soap opera

Jun14

June 13, 2017 – Sessions Replaces Soaps, Kenny WILL Eat Onions & a Wild Quote

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Funny. That doesn’t look like GH. It looks like the Sessions testimony. Wake me when it’s over.

3:22 (the time, not a Bible verse) and it looks like it’s not going to be over.

Thank you, FOX, for not bothering with this drivel. At least I got to see my favorite judge, Marilyn Milian, on People’s Court. I suppose this screws up the entire GH rhythm for the week though.

Below Deck Mediterranean

When last we left, Chef Adam was doing his best to make sure the tip is as low as possible. Primary guest Kenny is going to eat onions whether he wants to or not, and no matter how much money he’s spent not to eat them.

The ferry has been delayed, and Adam gripes that the food is going to spoil. Hannah says she can’t look after both the inside and his food, so he should take the initiative. He suggests maybe Bugs should be chief stew, and Hannah suggests they get a chef that can read preference sheets. Bugs is annoyed at being put in the middle, but I’m not sure why she didn’t speak up for Hannah here. The ferry arrives, and champagne corks are popped.

Hannah says she doesn’t need Adam diminishing her rank in front of her first stew. Adam is thrilled to be on the ferry with Malia. He has a burning feeling inside that he wants to pursue. I think that’s called something else, but we’ll leave it there. Hannah tells us that the waterfalls there are the most beautiful in Europe. Seeing them, I’m sure she’s right, although the picnic spot is crowded, and reminiscent of an NYC park in summertime.

Adam says he’s met Kennys before on charters, and they’re his rivals. He thinks Kenny should be appreciative and like onions. Hannah tells Wes about Adam’s attitude. In his interview, Wes says people come out of their shells on charters. You see who they really are, and Adam is an ogre on the inside. Man, is he being polite.

Adam and Malia sneak off to the waterfall. Although it’s not that sneaky, since the rest of the crew notices. Bobby is miffed that he’ll never get his chance. The guests have more shots than I would before going into the water. Adam talks to Malia, who says she likes being on the outside, like the yacht is a prison. He answers that he likes being on the outside with her. Bleh. They talk about what they’re doing after charter season. In her interview, Malia says part of her is thinking that Wes didn’t get the opportunity to come, and yaps about how she’s getting to know two very different guys. Zzzzz…

The guests come back to the boat, more liquor, and the Jacuzzi. Bugs alerts Adam that they’re asking about dinner already. In his interview, Adam says Kenny rubbed him the wrong way, saying that people hire him because they like his food, and “this redneck isn’t going to pull him through the mud.” Honestly, what is wrong with him? Because the guest was given a preference sheet and filled it out with his preferences, this makes him an awful human? Adam is dragging himself through the mud. He puts onions in the soup. A guy, who has paid tens of thousands for his yacht vacation, has one freaking request, and not only can Adam not comply with it, he has to call him nasty names. I swear, if I ever see Adam on the street, we’re having it out. He annoys me more than Puck from The Real World. And that is saying a lot.

The dinner table is decorated in gold, silver and pearls. Love the pearls! Hannah tells the guests they’re doing an obstacle course in the morning, with the crew competing against the guests. Hannah and Lauren serve the soup, and I hold my breath. Kenny asks if it’s onion soup, even though it was presented as lentil. The worst part of the whole thing is how Adam watches them again on the monitor like some creepy voyeur.

Out on deck, Max asks Malia if Adam is her cup of tea, and what about Wes. In his interview, he says he’s glad he’s taken, so he’s out of this. The entrée is lamb and some kind of local vegetables. I’m not a fan of lamb, but it looks fabulous, and I’m intrigued by the vegetable plate. Hopefully, it’s not laden with onions. Wes and Malia go for a walk. Hannah serves the lamb, and the guests joke that they’re vegetarian. Kenny is sure there were onions in the soup. What if he was allergic or it caused some other health problem? He seems like a nice guy too. If I’d paid that much not to eat onions, Adam would be wearing them.

Max tells Bobby that Malia was put off by the Lauren thing, but Bobby thinks he could win her over and is still going to try.  Wes says he and Adam used to be buddy-buddy, but it’s not happening now because of Malia. One of the guests falls asleep on the toilet. Apparently, it’s not the first time, and he has a reputation for it.

Bobby asks Malia if she’s up for a chat. He asks her if she’d be interested if it was a different situation. I guess they must all be after her because pickin’s are slim on charter. She’s cute, but it’s not like she belongs on a runway. Malia doesn’t think that Bobby is a bad guy, and he’s her type of guy, but the baggage with Lauren is a blockade. She’s willing to hang out and see if a friendship develops, and he thinks he still has a chance. Actually, he looks pretty good next to Adam.

Breakfast is followed by cocktails. Kenny thinks maybe they’ve set the bar too high for Adam. Hannah doesn’t feel anything is resolved, and becomes all business with Adam. The obstacle course is set up. One of the challenges is carrying an egg on a spoon while wearing a diving suit, which is pretty amusing. Bobby says he feels like Gumby (dammit!). By the time they get to the hotdog eating challenge, it’s more goofing around than anything else. Lauren says the crew really won, but they’re calling it a tie. Captain Sandy arrives with shots. Kenny says it’s been great except for the onions in his food. In her interview, the captain is like, what?

Bugs says everything was perfect between her and Hannah, until Adam said something. My advice is that Bugs should have countered what he said, instead of acquiescing. Kenny talks to Bugs about the onion issue. He thinks they were clear after the first time, and he’s sure there were onions in the soup. Hannah asks if Adam can make chips instead of French fries, but that’s also too hard for him. I’m starting to wonder about his credentials. Maybe he really handed out samples at Costco. The captain asks Adam if he’s putting onions in the food. On deck, Bobby says when he gets his own boat, he’s naming it “See You Next Tuesday,” because he’s really a fourteen-year-old boy, and negates all the good feelings I had for him a few paragraphs ago.

Adam admits to cooking with onions, but claims he didn’t do it after the first time. Captain Sandy asks if he can cook without them. In her interview, she says guests pay top dollar and make out preference sheets for a reason. Thank you. Kenny talks to Hannah about the soup. She asks Bugs about it, but Bugs isn’t sure. Max is concerned that Adam is going to cost them. Hannah approaches Adam about the soup, and he admits to putting onions in it. She asks why he would do that, and he claims you can’t make a good soup without them, and he thought it was funny. Hannah thinks he’s psychotic. She wonders if she should tell Kenny he’s right, and Adam says if she wants to ruin the tip. She calls him a wanker. Ha-ha! He claims he can’t make these people happy, and he didn’t like the way Kenny was talking. Huh? Hannah says she just does her job, and gives the guests what’s on their preference sheets. He asks if that’s a resting bitch face, and the captain overhears. She tells him not to put onions in the food.

Bobby complains that he’s being strategically placed where Malia isn’t. Hannah tells Captain Sandy that her issue isn’t with the onions on the first night, but Adam went out of his way to put them in the food on the second night because he thought it was funny. In her interview, the captain also uses the word “psychotic.” Hannah tells her about how Adam said that Bugs should be chief stew, and thinks he’s directly affecting the guests. Lauren asks Hannah how it’s going, and Hannah tells her about Adam. She wants the rest of the crew to know how he sabotaged them. Bugs and Malia talk. Malia thinks this side of Adam isn’t a good one, and didn’t know it existed.

Time for the guests to depart. It should be interesting. I’d give the rest of them Adam’s part of the tip, purposely cutting him out, like it was a will and I was Joan Crawford. Kenny says the interior and the crew nailed it. He tells Adam that he doesn’t like onions, and Adam breached that. His only suggestion is in the chef area, explaining that they had the same breakfast every day, and feels that if they hadn’t specifically asked for eggs, they wouldn’t have gotten them. Of course not, he would have given them onions. Kenny gives special kudos to Hannah, who he says has extraordinary patience. I don’t think these people were bad at all, and there were plenty of guests who would have totally flipped out over the onion thing.

The crew meets in the main salon. Captain Sandy says that no one was carried off on a stretcher and there were no breakdowns (not sure if she’s referring to the boat, the people, or both), but it wasn’t necessarily a success. She addresses Adam specifically, saying the guests obviously weren’t happy. In her interview, she says she’s pissed off, and if he did it out of spite, she’ll want to meet with him. Shockingly, the tip is the best they’ve had. $20K, or $1,818 each. In his interview, Adam says reality is starting to kick in. Idiot.

Bobby says if he was the captain, Adam would be gone. Wes is getting mixed signals from Malia. The captain asks Adam why. He claims that it was the only way the soup could have any flavor, since he’s never heard of celery, bay leaf, or beef stock. Captain Sandy says next charter, she’s watching him. In her interview, she says that she wants to fire him, but can’t find chef mid-season in Croatia. Where. Is. Ben?

Drama, onions, ego. Hannah is ready to let loose. Lauren pours vodka into her Coke bottle. Adam doesn’t want to go out, but feels like he should show he’s part of the team. Hannah says it’s been awkward with Bugs, but Adam is the only one who should feel awkward. Agreed. At dinner, everyone talks about the guests and how cool they were. Adam says if they hadn’t gotten a tip, he’d be feeling horrible, and offers them his share. Malia respects him for that, but they say no, which he probably figured would happen, so I call bullsh*t. I’d take it. In his interview, Wes alludes that Adam made the gesture for Malia, but money can’t solve being a d*ck. Never a truer word has been spoken.

The crew moves on to a club. Hannah talks to Lauren about what Adam said. She thinks it made Bugs’s head get big. In her interview, Bugs thinks Hannah has something against her. Adam feels emotionally attached, and isn’t sure what’s happening with Wes and Malia, so he runs back to the boat like a middle schooler to the bathroom at a dance. Bugs says he wasn’t feeling the vibe, and Malia says she’ll be right back, because she’s an idiot too. Bobby says that just killed the vibe, and Wes is no longer interested. He says one day she’ll wish she chose the good guy.

Next charter, sparks fly between Hannah and a guest, a guest makes a pass at Bobby, Bugs confronts Hannah, and Captain Sandy says one more screw up and Adam is gone.

A Quote & Meme to Make Up for GH

I don’t give two hoots about civilization. I want to wander in the wild. – Jane Goodall 

TheOffice

Jun13

June 12, 2017 – Ava Speaks, Shep Oversteps Friend Boundaries & a Little Savannah

Posted on by
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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Jordan is like, wow, Aunt Stella. She tells Curtis that she put Stella in the back of her mind, and now she’s front and center. Curtis asks if she’s thinking of backing out of their relationship, and she says not to put words in her mouth. She tells him that maybe Stella has a point, and he should turn away from her.

Stella is at Kelly’s and asks the waiter what’s good, not realizing it’s TJ because he has his back to her. He says the BLT’s are the best in the world. She says hers are the best in Baltimore, and he realizes who she is.

Spencer tells Laura that he was just defending Emma’s good name. She asks If Hayden deserved that kind of disrespect. He says he’ll write her a note, and Laura says he will – after he washes her car. He says he doesn’t do chores, but she tells him that he does now. Scotty comes by and tells Spencer nice haircut. Laura sends Spencer into Kelly’s, and asks Scotty what’s going on. He asks if she heard about Ava, and she asks if he was involved in helping her to hide what she did to Morgan.

Kiki says she knows she told Ava that she’d lose her forever if she played a part in Morgan’s death, but she still loves her and wants her to come back. She always told Kiki that she could do anything she set her mind to, and Ava can too. Kiki needs her to make up her mind. Ava opens her eyes.

Carly tells Sonny that it was all grief and they were helpless; they didn’t know how to deal with the pain or accept the loss. If Ava dies, maybe they’ll have justice and some peace. Sonny says peace for their son and for them. She says maybe they can really heal, and kisses him. Josslyn walks in, and makes a soap opera face at them.

TJ asks when Stella came to town, and how did she know he was at Kelly’s? She says she just got here, and she didn’t. She can’t believe how grown up he is. She says he looks tired and should pace himself. As a doctor, he should know that. He says he’s not even a med student yet, but she says it’s only a matter of time. She says his father had drive and focus, but Curtis is stubborn, and has always been his own worst enemy, focused on himself.

Curtis tells Jordan that they finally got to a place where they shut out the noise. He says Stella will get there or not. He doesn’t care about the challenges, because he’s where he wants to be – with her. Jordan says Stella is in pain because of her, but Curtis says he doesn’t care. She says what if it comes down to her or Stella?

Laura says she’s known Scotty a long time, and he’s capable. He says if he helped Ava – and he’s not saying he did – it’s because of attorney/client privilege. She says that doesn’t excuse a crime, and he says maybe he was saving Ava from Sonny. Laura says she would have been better off being arrested, and Scotty says it haunts him every day.

Ava tells Kiki they need to talk, but Kiki wants to get the doctor. Kiki tells Dillon that Ava is conscious and talking. He says she brought Ava back, and they hug. Yes, let’s waste time when you should be getting a medical professional. And she’s a Nurses Aid. I’ll say it again, if this was the only hospital in the world, I will never, ever check In here.

Josslyn asks Carly what Sonny is doing at their house. Carly says they were talking. Sonny says they’ll pick it up another time, and it’s good to see Josslyn. Josslyn says nothing, and he says he’ll see himself out. Carly asks how movie night was. Josslyn gives her a look, and goes upstairs.

Commercial break with maybe interesting information. After a nearly thirty year hiatus, Battle of the Network Stars is back on July 29th. I’m intrigued, but have we learned nothing from whoever wore a Speedo the first time around? I’ve mercifully blocked it from my memory.

Curtis asks if Jordan wants him to choose. She says no, and he says they’ll go about it carefully, but together. If they’re patient and respectful of her feelings, maybe Stella will come around. Jordan says they have to tell her that TJ isn’t Tommy’s son. Curtis says they will, but when the time is right.

TJ asks if Stella is here for Curtis’s birthday. Stella says just ask what he wants to know. He asks if she knows about Curtis and his mom. She says she does, but quickly changes the subject to his schooling. He says it’s been so long since they’ve seen each other, he wondered if she stopped caring. She asks why she’d stop caring about her sister’s grandson.

Josslyn says she wants to go to bed, but Carly says they need to talk. Josslyn says she’s welcome, since she just saved Carly from Sonny – and herself.

Laura says if Scotty feels guilty, then she’s relieved. That means the Scotty she knows is still in there. Scotty says, still is. Spencer comes back, and Laura says they have another stop to make, and have to go. Scotty asks if he’s still worth rooting for, and she says she wishes he’d make it easier.

Still dawdling, Kiki tells Dillon that she’s fine; no more falling apart; her mom needs her. She has plenty more hell to come. Finally, the doctor is summoned, and he tells Ava that she’s doing well, but she’s still critical. She went into cardiac arrest. She asks why they didn’t let her die. The doctor says their job is to keep her alive; she didn’t have a DNR. He asks if she wants one, and if she wants them to let her die if her heart stops again.

Dillon tells Kiki that Ava has a big fight ahead, but she has Kiki. and Kiki has him. She says Ava will go through hell just to face criminal charges, but Sonny and Carly have every right. She asks the doctor if Ava is out of danger. He says she’s stable, and they can start treatment on her wounds, removing dead tissue and replacing it with grafts. He tells Kiki that her mother would like to see her. Kiki tells Dillon to go home and recharge. She’ll call if anything happens. She thanks him for being there, and he says where else would he be?

Stella asks why TJ would think she didn’t want to see him. He says it’s been a while, and he figured after what Jordan told him about her and his father, she might not. Stella asks what she said. Before he can answer, Curtis and Jordan walk in. Curtis says he thought Stella was going to a hotel. She says she did, but didn’t want to pay twenty bucks for a hamburger. She tells them that Jordan has been feeding TJ lies about her not wanting to see him. She says he was led to believe that she chose to stay away from him, and asks Jordan what she’s been putting in his head.

Carly tells Josslyn that she didn’t need saving, and things aren’t always what they seem. Josslyn asks if she wasn’t kissing Sonny. Carly says she doesn’t have to explain herself, and it’s not a crime. Josslyn says that It should be. He’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to Carly.

Laura visits Sonny. She says she has someone who wants to see him, and Spencer says, surprise!

Stella asks Joran if she told TJ that she didn’t want to see him, and Jordan says she didn’t mean for that to happen. Curtis says they still kept in touch, and tells Stella to take a deep breath. Stella says she doesn’t want to breathe, and she missed out on everything. Jordan says that if she had it to do over, she would have done things differently. She would have never taken the DEA job, and stayed home with TJ. She can’t change the past, but she can take responsibility for her mistakes, and make sure it doesn’t happen again. She wants to make it better, and to move forward. She hopes Stella will give it a chance.

Spencer gives Sonny a cookie. Sonny says it’s good, but as an adult, he doesn’t like sweet stuff as much. Spencer is astonished at anyone not liking sweets, and Sonny explains that as you get older, you get more tolerant, and the more you enjoy life. Wise Sonny. He asks how long Spencer is staying, and Spencer says that Laura has him for life. Laura says they’re working out the details. Sonny wants to take Spencer to Brooklyn before the old homestead changes. Spencer asks if they can bring Emma.

Carly says Josslyn isn’t an expert in her relationship with Sonny, and the good outweighs the bad. Josslyn asks who she’s trying to convince, Josslyn or herself? Josslyn says Sonny does something bad, apologizes, and Carly eventually accepts it; it’s a cycle. Carly says they really love each other, and wanted to do right by the kids. Josslyn says deep down the only real reason she goes back, is that she doesn’t believe she deserves better. She deserves more, and this is her chance to find it.

Kiki tells Ava that she’s doing well. Ava moans, and Kiki asks one of the nurses about pain management. As she’s looking at Ava’s chart, she sees the DNR. She questions Ava about it, and Ava says, no extraordinary measures – she has to let her go.

Curtis asks Stella to take it down a notch; TJ works there. He says Jordan admitted her mistakes and apologized; what else does she want? Stella says she intends to be a part of TJ’s life, whether Curtis likes it or not. Like he’s been stopping her. TJ realizes that Jordan hasn’t told her. Jordan tells him that they’re still his family, and be kind to Stella; help break it to her gently. He says he missed Stella, and hates to keep lying. Jordan says they need time to ease her into the truth. TJ says it seems tense between them. Jordan tells him not to worry about her, but think of Stella’s feelings right now. She’s with him no matter what he decides.

Sonny has given Laura and Spencer lunch, and Spencer says it’s the best sandwich ever. Sonny says it’s nothing in comparison to a Bensonhurst deli he knows. Laura says they ate dinner in reverse. She asks Spencer to take his plate in the kitchen. He sighs, saying more chores, and she says it looks good on him. She calls him sassy, but Sonny says he’s a good kid. Laura isn’t sure what’s going on, but it’s suddenly important for Spencer to be with family. She says he’s not easy to read. Sonny says any time he wants to come around he’s welcome. Laura says he’s a handful, and there’s no Carly. Sonny tells her that things change when you least expect it.

Carly tells Josslyn that she knows it’s complicated, but it’s never been black and white; she’s hurt Sonny too. Josslyn says that’s not the sign of a good relationship. She’s like, omg, you’re taking him back, and Carly says she doesn’t know. She says it’s easy for Josslyn to have opinions when she doesn’t have a clue. Josslyn says she understands enough not to want a relationship like that, and asks if that’s what Carly wants for her. When Carly doesn’t answer, Josslyn says she didn’t think so, and it’s sad she wants more for Josslyn, but not for herself.

Kiki tells Ava that she can’t do it, and wants to tear it up. Ava says It’s her choice. Kiki says what about her and Avery, and Ava says they’ll be better off. She begs, and Kiki closes chart. Ava says there are arrangements to make, just in case, but Kiki says the doctor is coming up with treatment plan; she’ll be fine. Ava says she needs to say something. She talks about Morgan, and cries.

Scotty asks Dillon what’s going on with Ava. Dillon says she regained consciousness, and the doctor is talking about moving forward. Scotty calls her a fighter, and asks about visitors, but it’s just family. Scotty asks what about cops? He says she’s on goofballs, and as her lawyer, he doesn’t want her to say anything while she’s delirious. Dillon punches him in the mouth.

TJ asks if they can celebrate Curtis’s birthday without killing each other. He asks Stella about making a pineapple cake, and asks how long she’s staying. She says she was only going to stay for a few days, but they have so much catching up to do, she’s extending her stay to be open-ended.

Scotty is like wth? Dillon says that Ava is fighting for her life, and he’s worried she’ll implicate him in the cover-up. Scotty says that he has nothing but sympathy, however, as her lawyer… Dillon tells him get out. He doesn’t know how Scotty lives with himself. Scotty says he doesn’t either.

Ava tells Kiki that she never wanted to hurt Morgan; she was trying to protect Kiki. She should have left it alone, and she’s so sorry. Kiki says that she can’t right now. She needs Ava to focus on getting better.

Laura thought that Sonny and Carly were divorcing. He says that was the plan, but plans change. Laura says she was hoping they could work things out. Sonny tells her that it’s not a done deal, but things are looking up.

Carly says she thought money and success and love would make her happy when she hit the magic number. But life is just life, and she realized there’s always someone with more and someone with less. The secret is to love the life you have, and the people you’ve been blessed with. She says Sonny hasn’t always been a blessing, but neither her she. Josslyn says she’s talking herself into forgiving him. Carly says there’s as much strength in forgiveness as walking away. Walking away always her strong suit; she didn’t realize that there were other options. Josslyn says it’s not strength when it’s over, it’s hopelessness, like their conversation. She tells Carly to go ahead; it’s her life, and she’s going to do what she wants anyway. She always does.

Tomorrow, Carly wants to talk to Sonny, Amy 2.0 needs a favor, and Nina wonders if there’s a chance for Valentin to go free.

Southern Charm

Cameran calls Chelsea from the car, saying she’s bored. Chelsea asks if she wants to come help pick out outfits for Kathryn’s photo shoot. Cameran wants to be in Kathryn’s corner, now that she’s taking steps to better herself. Oh boy! The Cameran seal of approval.

Thomas visits JD (bleh) at the bar. JD asks how it’s going with Kathryn, and Thomas tells him about Kathryn’s photo shoot, and how she’s bringing the kids. He says he wants her to have a relationship with them, and JD says it’s a tough balance, dealing with her as a mom, but also as a person. Seriously? It’s that hard? I feel sorry for the both of them. Well, not really. JD asks if Thomas and Landon are going on dates. He’s not sure Kathryn would be real excited about that. We flash back to Kathryn calling Landon f-ing crazy.

Landon’s father comes with her to see a property. She tells him about working on her website, and how there are technical difficulties in that they need to find a new name. Someone needs to explain to her that the name problem is because they didn’t do enough any research; it’s not a technical difficulty. In her interview, she says real estate is tangible, but it’s hard to talk to her father about the website. When they get to the lot, Landon’s father asks her about managing the sale for him. The commission would be 100K. I’m in if she doesn’t want to. He thinks she could make a living in real estate, but she was hoping to make a living with the website. HAHAHAHAHA! They sit on the dock. Landon says the website is the first thing she’s done on her own that’s just hers. She starts crying, saying she doesn’t want to be handed something. Her father says that he encourages her to dream, but she has to pay her bills. Yes, it’s called a day job. Ask any waiter in Hollywood or NYC. What Landon doesn’t realize, and those waiters do, is that it takes a while to see revenue from something like that.

Shep is reading, and Cameran thinks it’s weird. His place is clean, it’s noon, he’s alone, up, and dressed. She mentions him missing the appointment, and he says it perfectly illustrates why he wants to move. Cameran wonders if he’ll miss the downtown life. In his interview, he says he wants a buffer for when someone texts him to go out. Unless it’s a good offer, like a cheerleading squad.

Cameran says she saw Chelsea, and she looks good and she’s cool. Shep says she’s with Austen, but Cameran thinks if he’s vulnerable to her, she’d never look at Austen again. She says they both have issues with being vulnerable – with Cameran, it’s with having a baby, and with him, it’s a relationship. She says they’re both happy, but Shep says he isn’t. Cameran insists he is. He says he’s not scared of being hurt; he’s afraid of hurting someone else, since he basically has no feelings.

Kathryn and Chelsea look for an outfit. Kathryn says she’s changed age brackets, and she’s between party girl and mom now. Cameran joins them. Chelsea says they’ll tackle it together. Cameran gets a drink, even though Chelsea doesn’t think they should drink in front of Kathryn. Chelsea tells Cameran that she should do a sexy photo shoot before she has a baby and there’s no going back. Ha-ha! Cameran’s face. Kathryn comes out in a romper that’s adorable. Cameran invites them on a trip for her 33rd birthday. She asks if Kathryn is okay with her inviting Thomas and Landon. She is.

While Kathryn is changing, Cameran tells Chelsea about having to rouse Shep when he missed their appointment. Chelsea wonders if there’s any hope. Kathryn comes out in a cute dress and amazing shoes that I could never wear.

Austen picks Chelsea up after work. He says he’s doing his best to not work. His parents are coming to town, and he asks if she wants to go for drinks with them. She asks what he’s doing tonight, and he says having drinks with the guys. She wonders if she should tell him something, and decides that if roles were reversed, she’d want to know. She says when they were all at the bar, Shep grabbed her arm, steered her outside, and went in to kiss her and she was like what are you doing? She says he did it two or three times, and since Austen was in the bar, it took some nerve. He told her they have chemistry, but she and Austen are a joke. Shep thinks Austen is better off with Landon, and Chelsea thinks that he believes she’s naïve. She asks Austen about Landon, and he says it’s ridiculous. In his interview, he wants to believe Shep wouldn’t do this, but knows he would.

Commercial break with great news! New episodes of Sweet Home Oklahoma start on Monday, July 10th at 10 pm. I love that show. It’s so upbeat. Pumps! Tubbers! Girl power! I can’t wait!

The guys meet for drinks. Austen tells Craig about Shep trying to kiss Chelsea before Shep gets there. He says Shep has zero reverence for their friendship, and Craig says he’s a sh*tty person. Whitney and Shep arrive. Austen can’t believe Shep can act like nothing happened, and calls Shep the king of compartmentalization. Shep says that Austen is highbrow since he’s in a relationship. He says he’s happy for them, and Austen asks if there’s anything Shep needs to say. When Shep has nothing, Austen tells the guys about what Chelsea told him. Shep asks if it was wrong, and says it was a test; he was thinking about Austen. Please. Craig talks about Shep hitting on Naomie, and says that no matter who he marries, Shep will try to have sex with her. Shep brings up Austen facetiming with Landon, and says everyone wants to have their cake and eat it too. Whitney thinks it wasn’t Shep’s finest moment, but Austen is overreacting. Shep says he thought it was just casual. We flash back to the initial conversation where Austen said he was “hanging out” with Chelsea, and Shep said he should have told him first. Shep says if he doesn’t know, how is he supposed to know, and apologizes, saying sometimes his maleness gets the better of him. Then he says maybe Chelsea likes him, basically negating the apology. In his interview, Craig says that Austen is forcing a mirror in Shep’s face, and it’s hard to see someone you don’t like. Ouch. They move on to the next bar.

Craig and Austen talk to some wannabe named Beau, who asks if Shep thinks he made a mistake. Craig says that Shep is Shep. He always tries to screw the girls you like, and it is what it is. Austen says he thinks he’s better than everyone else. We flash back to Shep saying Chelsea is slumming with Austen. Austen says he laughed it off at the time. Craig says he should live his life and be happy with himself. Shep sits down, and asks what’s going on. In his interview, Whitney says they didn’t kiss; let’s move on. Shep tells Beau he was drink and she said no. Beau tells him that Austen claims Shep thinks he doesn’t have enough money for someone like Chelsea. Shep gets irritated, and Austen says he let it go when it happened. Shep says Austen is on thin ice with him, and Austen says that’s just mind-blowing. I guess it doesn’t take much. Shep gets more ridiculous and irate. He finally gets up, and Austen says he’s walking away when they should resolve it. Shep says that he has a million friends, and leaves. Whitney says let it go, and Craig says he guesses it’s okay for Shep to go after their girlfriends. Austen says he’s had about enough.

Kathryn meets with the photographer. Chelsea is there for support. They lay out the kids’ clothing. In her interview, Kathryn says it’s weird and awesome at the same time that Thomas is agreeing to this. She thinks maybe he’s made some progress, and loves him for this. Thomas arrives with the kids. Chelsea tells them it’s a dress up game. Thomas decides to stay for the duration. He and Kathryn talk about the kids while she gets her hair done.

Kathryn and Kelsie come out in their first outfits. Kelsie is a natural, and I mean that. Kathryn is pretty good, and I think the pictures are going to be fantastic. Kathryn is thrilled with them being together as a family. Thomas and Kathryn agree that Kelsie is a ham. She doesn’t want to leave either when it’s time to go home, and wants to get in Kathryn’s car. Kelsie pitches a fit, and Thomas says she’ll see mommy soon. She pitches more of a fit. Thomas tells Kathryn she did a great job, and Kathryn gets weepy going back in.

Chelsea asks what’s wrong, and Kathryn tells her that Kelsie wanted to go home with her, and she hates this. It’s hard. It’s been a long time now, and she’s paid the price for what she did already. In her interview, Kathryn says Kelsie misses her mommy, and the only way she can express it is through crying. Chelsea says she’s sorry Kathryn is going through this.

Commercial break with repeat information. I know I said this already, but it’s one of my favorites. Shah’s of Sunset begins on Sunday, July 16th at 8 pm. Are Jessica and Mike getting back together???

Cameran visits Chelsea. They sit outside and have a beer. Cameran says she’s started packing for the trip. So far, it sounds like everyone except Landon is going. Chelsea tells Cameran about Shep steering her outside when Austen was at the bar, and swooping in for a kiss. He told her that she and Austen were a joke, and he wants her to get over it. Then he tried again. Cameran says he liked her, and didn’t have the balls to pursue her. Chelsea says he should man up and say something, instead of blaming other people. She says that Shep told her Cameran encouraged him. Cameran says she did, but had expected him to be a grown ass man, not a middle schooler. Chelsea says she should know bette,r but Cameran says she felt sorry for him. Chelsea tells Cameran that she knows guys who feel entitled and never faced any consequences because they have money, but eventually, it has to end. Cameran says that she’s going to snatch a knot in Shep’s head. I have to remember that one.

Naomie and Craig go to counselling (sounds like a new children’s book). Craig says they had a few good days, but it’s back to how it was. Naomie says they had a conversation that was heated, and Craig says she told a lie about him to get laughs. We see a clip of Naomie telling everyone that Craig confused vegetarian with Presbyterian. Craig says he feels like he’s living with someone who’s on everyone’s side but his. Naomie thinks he’s overly sensitive, but he says all of their arguments are based on her trying to change him. We flash back to her going wah-wah-wah, like Charlie Brown’s teacher. He tells her to let him live his life. She says he can’t do it with her; it affects her to watch someone sleep all day. She says they don’t understand each other, and Craig thinks he’s perfect. He says that’s not true, and if that’s how she perceives it, maybe that’s the problem. He says he can’t take it anymore. He doesn’t like being put down, and told how wrong, bad, and stupid he is, and what a loser all the time. Naomie says if that’s who he is, go he himself, just not with her. She doesn’t like who he is. Geez. Didn’t she know him before they moved in together? This show isn’t Married at First Sight.

Cameran meets Shep, and tells him she’s saving the love doll for someone else. She says she talked to Chelsea, who said he tried to kiss her twice. Shep claims not to remember, and Cameran thinks he should control his primal urges or stop drinking. She says there’s a proper way to do it, not grabbing her at a bar when she‘s with his friend. He says he saw a bright, shiny object, and now I want to snatch a knot in his head. Cameran tells him that he’s not entitled to just kiss anyone he thinks is hot. In her interview, Cameran talks about peeling back the layers with Shep, and that he’s a kind, smart human being. She hates to see him be at bad point because of decisions he’s making. She asks if he’s jealous of Austen and Chelsea. He says he doesn’t care and she calls bullsh*t. He says that’s crazy.

Next time, Shep apologizes to Chelsea, Craig thinks he and Naomie should separate, Landon insists there’s no girl code (excuse me? she’s clearly not a girl), and Cameran and Kathryn talk.

🍹 At least the group in Charleston keeps busy, even if it isn’t with what a friend of mine calls “square jobs.” I still can’t figure out what any of the cast on Southern Charm Savannah do, except play games, drink, and gossip. A main focus of the show, Ashley, claims to be a stylist, who also works for Delta ten hours a week. Doing I’m not sure what. She’s one of those people who stirs the pot and runs. I hate that. Her mannequin-like look is freaking me out a little too, but I can’t stop staring. Hannah said dealing with her is like playing mental Ping-Pong, and I’m wondering why Hannah sometimes sounds like a Valley girl. Does she watch too much of the Kardashians? There seems to be a lot of sweeping feelings under the rug in Savannah, like when Hannah found out her father was engaged through a customer. Not even through a Tweet. The subplot of the show is Ashley confronting Hannah about something, tonight being Hannah starting a clothing line without consulting Ashley first. It got to the point of being nonsensical. The other highlight was a white guy apologizing to another white guy about using a Jewish slang word that’s apparently a racist term. Rich white people problems.

southern-charm-savannah-recap

Happy (yes, that’s her name) and boyfriend, from Southern Charm Savannah, and how I look watching the show.

Jun10

June 9, 2017 – Ava Comes Back from the Brink, Some Ramblings, a Quote Quint & Flowers for You

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Opening the door to Jordan, Aunt Stella says, speak of the devil. Curtis takes the bag from Jordan, and tells Stella that they’re seeing each other.

Hayden comes to Finn’s room. He says she smells like she was hit by a coffee tsunami, and asks what happened. She says she had children.

Julian tells Scotty that he’s not paying him to waste time on a pipe dream. Scotty isn’t so sure about that.

Dante calls Lucy into the interrogation room. He wants to know why she had Morgan’s pills. Sonny and Carly deserve answers.

Just as the doctors are working on Ava, my best freaking friend, George Stephanopoulos, interrupts my viewing pleasure. I hate him. Even more, it’s not like it’s even anything real – they’re discussing one of the President’s tweets. For the love of all that’s holy, go away. I hate all of them. And I’m a bi-partisan hater. What really bites my butt is that the actual message is usually less than five minutes, but then the so-called experts have to weigh in, like I give a flying about what they think. Is insurance actually affordable yet? Let me know when it is.

Rant over. Back to GH. Thanks, ABC, for wasting 25 minutes of my life.

Jordan tells Stella that her husband had the right to know his wife slept with his best friend. She hates herself for it, and says Stella has a right to hate her too.

Dante asks if Lucy switched the pills. She says no, and he asks why she had them. She flashes back to putting them in the safe, away from Scotty. Dante wonders if Ava knew she had them. He says that Lucy knew something was up, but kept quiet. She says she had no idea what was going to happen. Dante says either start talking or he’ll arrest her as an accessory.

Scotty suggests that Julian tell the truth. Olivia-J threatened his family, and made him do the dirty work. Julian says he has to go, and Scotty asks if it’s something with Ava. Julian tells Scotty that she might be dying.

Dante asks Scotty to have a chat with him and Lucy. Scotty asks what Lucy is doing there, and Lucy tells him not to act like he doesn’t know.

As the doctors work on Ava, Griff tells her to fight, saying that her daughter is outside. Her heartbeat comes back. Kiki hugs Dillon. Carly says she’s happy for Kiki, and Sonny says he is too. Griff tells Kiki that Ava is at risk for another cardiac episode. Kiki asks if she’s going to live, and Griff says that they’re doing everything they can. He asks if she needs support, but she says no. Sonny tells her that if she wants to see Avery, just come by, or if she needs anything, ask. Carly says they’re here for her, and Sonny tells Dillon to take care of her. Kiki tells Dillon that she has to go in to see Ava. Dillon says no matter what she did, Ava is still her mom. He says to tell Ava how she feels while she has the chance.

Scotty asks to confer with his client. Lucy says she’s not his client. Dante wants to ask questions, but Scotty points out that he doesn’t have a subpoena. Lucy talks about everything Scotty did to get the pills from her, eventually breaking into her safe. She says he was trying to get Ava off the hook. Dante tells Scotty that he knows the pills were switched, and nice try, but wrong dose.

Curtis tells Jordan not to beat herself up. She goes into the other room, and he asks Stella what good that did for anyone. Stella says losing Thomas broke his mother’s heart, and put her in the grave. Curtis says they’re all just trying to heal, and maybe she should do the same. Stella says she’ll leave that to the two of them; they have no time for remorse or decency. He says he didn’t know she was coming, and didn’t mean for her to find out this way. He loves her, but no one is trying to hurt her. Jordan comes back, saying that they were family. Stella tells her that she destroyed her sister and their family, and she should leave Curtis alone before she destroys him too.

Jordan understands why Stella would think that, but she’s changed, and would never make that mistake again. Curtis says all they’re doing is trying to find happiness, and Stella says nothing about it makes her happy, like she’s a third person in their relationship. She says she’ll get her stuff and be on her way. She’ll reach out to TJ when she calms down. She tells Curtis she’d made her peace with Thomas’s death – until now. Mark her words, until this is over, there will be no peace. Not too dramatic.

Hayden comes out of the shower. Finn has the backgammon board set up. He says it helps him think. She asks if he’s thinking about who’s destroying his career. She says she knows, and tells him to think harder. It’s so obvious, she’s the last person he’d suspect.

Dante tells Scotty about Ava switching the pills. Dante says then Lucy found them, and Ava went to Scotty, but he got the dose wrong. Scotty says he has nothing to say. He’s Ava’s lawyer, and has attorney/client privilege. He tells Lucy that she should be quiet, but she doesn’t care. She says what if this happened to Serina, and she spiraled out of control and they had no idea why. She knows he doesn’t like Sonny and Carly, but it’s wrong. She asks if he’s that heartless.

Julian asks Dillon what happened, and if Ava got to see Kiki while she was conscious. Dillon says no, and Julian says if she comes back for anyone, it will be Kiki. Kiki stands by Ava’s bed. She apologizes for not coming sooner, when Ava was awake and could hear her. She hopes she’s not too late. She doesn’t want Ava to die.

Carly tells Sonny that was rough. He believes that Ava is getting what she deserves, but to see Kiki suffer is awful. Carly says that Kiki is Ava’s victim too, and she can’t stand seeing her go through this. Sonny asks where Ava’s heart was when Morgan spiraled. Carly says part of her wants Ava to go to trial, and Sonny finishes that if she dies it’s okay. Carly says maybe then they could heal.

Kiki says she’s here and won’t let Ava go. She holds Ava’s hand.

Finn tells Hayden that once they pinpointed Brad, he dismissed Obrecht. Hayden says she’s jealous, and had the opportunity and expertise, but Finn says that they don’t know if she was working with Brad or alone. He tells Hayden that he has a better idea than playing detective. I don’t think it’s playing backgammon either.

Curtis asks if Jordan is okay. He says she was harder on herself than Stella was, and she says she says she was thrown off guard in every way. She’d put Stella in the back of her mind, and now she’s been read the laundry list of her life so loud, she can’t ignore it. Curtis hopes she’s not thinking of backing out.

Scotty tells Lucy that nothing they say or do will change anything. They set nothing in motion, and it’s all hearsay and speculation. Dante says he’ll find out where Scotty got the lithium, and that it’s far from not setting anything in motion. He switched the pills back for Ava, and his hands are dirty. Dante says that he’ll build a case against Ava, and Scotty too.

Julian wonders if it’s divine justice. Dillon asks if he’s saying that Ava deserves it. Julian says he thought there was a chance to turn his life around. His lawyer told him to blame his sister, and what if he gets acquitted? Is that the tradeoff; he’s free and his sister dies?

Kiki says that she hates what Ava did to Morgan. She says she told Ava that she’d lose her forever, but she doesn’t want that. She still loves her mother, and doesn’t want her to die.

Carly tells Sonny that through all the chaos, she had one quiet thought – this is where it ends. All the hurt, hostility, and wounds they’ve inflicted will vanish when Ava does. It was all grief, and they didn’t know how to deal with the pain and loss. She feels like if Ava dies, they’ll have justice for Morgan. Maybe not comfort, but peace. Sonny asks if she means peace for them. She says maybe they can start to heal, and kisses him.

On Monday, Stella talks to TJ, Kiki tells Ava to make up her mind, and Dillon punches out Scotty.

Pondering…

🍑 Real Housewives of Atlanta revelation. I finally realize why Porsha’s parents spelled her name the way they did, rather than the traditional Portia. The only way they could get her to spell it correctly was to spell it phonetically.

🐙 Driving me crazy – or is it just a short putt? Gordon Ramsay is the king of this, but I’ve heard it on other shows too. This is the worst <insert main theme of program here> in the history of <insert program title>. For example, this is the worst meal I’ve ever eaten in the history of MasterChef. Gordon has also had way too many worst meals of his “entire life.” It becomes somewhat amusing though, when the show has only had one season under its belt, making a pretty short “history.”

Quotes of the Week

You can start late. Look different. Be uncertain. And still succeed.  – Misty Copeland (Thank God. I was worried about that.)

I think we’re slow to change…There is a racism that exists and will always exist. If it’s not Black people, it’s another so-called minority. I think human beings have to feel that there’s someone beneath them and they don’t realize it’s because they have such little regard for themselves they feel that way. – Dustin Hoffman, Yorkshire Evening Post

You remember the Imitation says, ‘Bear your cross, for if you try to get rid of it you will probably find another and worse one.’ – C. S. Lewis referring to The Imitation of Christ by Thomas à Kempis

God didn’t save your ass from drowning just to leave you die on the beach. ** I dunno. He was pretty tough on his own kid.  – Marjorie (Mimi Kennedy) & Christy (Anna Faris), respectively, on Mom

You live by the meme, you die by the meme. – NY Post referring to Kathy Griffin

🌷 To send you on your weekend…

PsychedelicFlowers

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jun9

June 8, 2017 – Valentin Promises to Return & the Fresh Prince’s Mom Joins GH

Posted on by
Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Sonny asks one of the staff for an update on Ava, saying she’s the mother of his child. The doctor says she sustained 2nd and 3rd degree burns over most of her body, and she’s critical, but stable. Nothing Sonny wouldn’t have known in the first place. Sonny acts concerned. Carly shows up, and asks why they’re meeting at the hospital. She says she doesn’t want to see any human being suffer, but it doesn’t make her hate Ava any less. Sonny tells her that one of her least favorite people is getting out of the hospital today – Nelle.

Michael offers to give Nelle a ride, but she doesn’t want him pitying her.

Dillon tells Kiki that this is what he was afraid of – she feels guilty about something that Ava did, then pushes him away. That’s what I was afraid of too. He says she’s not thinking straight. There’s no excuse for what Ava did, but her mother is fighting for her life, and no matter what, Ava is her mom. Kiki was there for him through the problems with his dad, and he wants to be there because he cares and wants to help. He’s not letting go when she needs him, and tells her that he needs her too.

TJ meets Jordan at Perks. She wants to talk to him about Curtis.

Aunt Stella tells Curtis that the day Thomas laid eyes on Jordan was the end for their family. Curtis reminds her that Jordan is TJ’s mother. She says let’s get it over with; what’s going on with Jordan?

Valentin tells his visitor she must be pleased with herself. Only one of them is in handcuffs, and it’s not her. Alex locks the door and smiles.

Sonny asks Carly if Diane called, and says she really cared about Morgan. Carly says she volunteered to be a special prosecutor, but she’s on retainer with Sonny, which is a conflict of interest. She thinks they have enough evidence though, including Lucy’s testimony. Sonny says they’ll need more than that to bring Ava to justice.

Nelle tells Michael that maybe pity is the wrong word. Michael asks if his mother was there. She says no, and he thinks maybe it was Bobbie who said something to Nelle. He says he’s sympathetic, but it’s not the same as pity. Nelle asks why Michael is there. He wants to make sure she’s okay, but he also likes her, and she wonders how that could be true. He says she did damage to his family, but there’s another side to her. He wants to spend more time with the Nelle he knew at the cabin. She says when she told him that she was leaving, he said it was the right decision. He tells her that he’s allowed to change his mind, and he’s going to do everything to convince her to stay.

Stella asks if Jordan tried to keep Curtis away from TJ. He says at first, and she asks if Jordan will try to keep her away. Curtis tells her that TJ is grown; call him. She says Jordan has a way of twisting things, and she’s a born liar. She can just imagine what Jordan has told TJ about her. She says she doesn’t regret what she said at the funeral, but regrets where she said it. She says Jordan doesn’t like being confronted with her failings. She’ll make Stella the bad guy, and poison TJ against her. Curtis says she’d never do that.

Valentin thinks the WSB has offered Alex something to get him to confess. She says they don’t even know she’s there; she escaped. To assure him it’s not recorded, she confesses to everything she’s done. She says he didn’t mind her when she was her sister, but she can assure he gets freed.

Curtis tells Stella that Jordan’s mistakes are in the past. She asks if that’s what they’re calling blatant infidelity now. He says that Jordan would never poison TJ against her; she values family and wouldn’t want to disrupt the connection between them. She’s TJ’s favorite aunt. Curtis takes her down Memory Lane, and says that kind of love sticks with a person – TJ remembers, loves, and misses her. He tells her to just call him.

Jordan tells TJ that she and Curtis aren’t just dating; they’re a couple now. TJ says cool. She asks if he’s really cool with this.

Carly tells Sonny that Diane thinks the DA will subpoena Scotty, but he’ll claim attorney/client privilege. She says they still have Andre’s testimony and Morgan’s journal. Sonny hates turning the journal over. He brings up Nelle seeing Ava in Morgan’s room, and says Nelle can establish that Ava used Avery as a cover. Carly asks why Nelle would help them.

Michael explains to Nelle what happened with Ava switching Morgan’s pills. He says the whole family is reeling. He tells her that Morgan got the help he needed and started to believe in himself, but Ava took it away. First she took his sanity, then his life. Nelle wonders if the fire is karma. Michael says he doesn’t want Ava to suffer; he wants her to pay.

Valentin asks Alex what she’s waiting for; he has places to go and people to see. She says they only have so much time, so listen. There’s no way the WSB can prove that he stole the Chimera or sold it; she’s the only witness. He asks about Anna, and Alex says she has no firsthand knowledge. If Alex is gone and he says nothing, they can’t build a case. He asks what’s in it for her, and she says her freedom. Without his testimony, they have nothing against her. She knows he’s vulnerable to Anna, and a confession might have a righteous appeal for him to redeem himself in her eyes. She says they share more of a connection than he ever had with Anna. She’s had feelings for him, but he never saw them. He says she’s there because she wants to stay free. She says she’s not exactly altruistic, but she did save him before, and now she’s giving him a way out. They’ll have to drop the charges, and when they do, he should find her. He asks why; they’ll be following him, and why should he want to? She says all this time it wasn’t Anna he wanted – it was her. She leaves, and Valentin is like, hmm… as he looks at the divorce papers. It’s been quite a day for Valentin.

Carly tells Sonny that they can’t count on Nelle’s testimony. Nelle knows that Carly will do everything in her power to keep her away from Michael. She gets nothing out of it, so why would she do it? Sonny says she owes them, and will feel she’s making amends. He suggests that they talk to her; it’s worth a shot for Morgan. Maura West (Ava) has an easy job right now, just lying there. Ava moans, and a hand covers hers. It’s Ava’s pre-fire self, who tells her it’s not a nightmare. She’s been badly burned, she set the fire on her own, and now she’s trapped, but it’s what she deserves. She played a part in taking a life, and now this is her life. What did she expect?

Michael tells Nelle that he pities Ava. He’d like her healthy and whole and charged for her crimes. He doesn’t want her injuries to cancel out what she did to Morgan. Nelle says she wishes she’d understood justice before. If she’d been more perceptive, or wiser, she wouldn’t have done what she did. Michael says he understands regret. They get each other, and he hopes she stays. He takes her hand, and she says she’s not going anywhere. They almost kiss, but there’s a knock at the door. No surprise, it’s Sonny and Carly. Sonny asks if he can talk to her about something.

The real Anna comes to see Valentin. She says he’s being transported to the Netherlands to stand trial. He asks if she’s transporting him, saying she’s always been passionate about justice.

Stella tells Curtis that she doesn’t want to put TJ in the middle. It’s best to avoid the confrontation. He tells Stella not to worry about Jordan; they came to an understanding about him seeing TJ. Stella says seeing her around town can’t be easy. He made some poor choices, but they can’t compare to what she did. She was unfaithful and got Tommy killed.

TJ wonders why Jordan is so worried. Jordan says he made it clear that it’s a little weird, and it is; Curtis is his uncle. TJ says as long as they’re happy, it’s all good.

Illusion Ava says Kiki has finally turned her back, Julian will end up in prison, and it will frighten Avery to look at her. Sonny did her a favor in letting her live, but it’s no favor.

Michael says that Nelle is about to be released; they’re just waiting on the paperwork. Sonny asks if she knows about Ava, and Michael says that he filled her in. Nelle says she’s glad they weren’t hurt in the fire. Sonny asks what she remembers about seeing Ava in Morgan’s room. She says that it was right before the funeral. Sonny wants to know exactly what happened.

Valentin tells Anna that they can’t prove he was in possession of the Chimera, or selling it. Anna says he told her, and he says it’s her word against his, unless she recorded him. He tells her that the Chimera is no more, Helena is dead, and there’s no wrong to be righted. It’s a show trial for the WSB to save face; he’ll just be saving their wounded vanity. He asks if there’s a time table, and Anna says ten/fifteen minutes. Valentin says he thought he was going to see Charlotte first.

He tells Anna they’d agreed. Anna asks what he’s going to tell her, and he says he was going to be vague, but reassure her. Anna says the agents will be here any minute. He asks if she’ll make a video message; she’ll be right there, and there won’t be any secret message. Anna says she’ll do it; she doesn’t want Charlotte worried either. She sets up the phone. Valentin calls Charlotte “mon petite,” and tells her how much she means to him, and to never doubt it. He has to go on a trip far away, and doesn’t know for how long. He tells her not to worry; he’s always with her, in her heart and in her dreams. He says if she ever needs him, to find the star Polaris. He’ll be looking at it too, and they’ll be together. He tells Charlotte to be happy, because he couldn’t bear it if she wasn’t enjoying her life with Dante, Lulu, and Rocco. He looks forward to hearing about her adventures, and promises he’ll see her again. He blows her a kiss, and we all tear up. Anna asks why he said that about the star.

Curtis tells Stella that he’ll text Jordan. He’s sure she wants TJ to have a relationship with his aunt, and asks Stella to give her a chance. They’ve talked a lot, and Jordan has made a lot of changes too. Stella asks what man she has her hooks in now. Curtis says that’s enough, and she needs to listen. There’s something she needs to know about Jordan.

Nelle tells Sonny and Carly that Ava pretended to be looking for her phone under the bed. Sonny says she must have dropped the pills. Nelle says that she had time to pocket them while Nelle and Sonny were talking. Then, she suddenly didn’t want to see Avery any more, and left. Nelle thought it was weird at the time. She says she’ll give a deposition, and Sonny says they’ll contact her soon. Outside, Carly says the good news is that she’s helping them; the bad news is that Michael hasn’t given up on her. She and Sonny agree that Nelle is doing it for Michael’s benefit. Carly says they’ll have to tolerate it.

Hallucination Ava tells real Ava that all that’s left of her life is pain. She doesn’t have to endure it. Just let go and rest. Ava flatlines.

Sonny and Carly stare, while everyone runs around. Kiki dashes in, wondering what’s going on. The doctors try to get Ava’s heart going.

Michael brings Nelle the release papers, and thanks her for helping. He says he’s not here because of it though. Nelle says that she knows he wouldn’t use her. She says Carly hates her for good reason, but it impressed her how Carly put it aside to get justice for Morgan. She knows Carly’s opinion isn’t going to change, especially if they’re going to be friends, but Michael says he thinks they’re more than that.

Stella tells Curtis that Jordan has them fighting already. Curtis asks to change the subject. He wonders if Stella is taking him out for his birthday or cooking. She says she knows he wants her to cook, and starts to look for recipes on her phone, so they can make a list.  There’s a knock at the door and Stella answers. It’s Jordan, saying, happy birthday, baby, and dangling a gift bag in her hand. Probably from the lingerie store.

Handcuffs are put on Valentin, and Anna signs something. He tells her not to back out. She says he’s setting Charlotte up for disappointment, but he says he’ll have to figure out a way to keep his promise. As he’s led away, Anna ponders.

Tomorrow, Aunt Stella isn’t forgiving or forgetting, Julian tells Scotty that he can beat the odds, and Kiki blames herself.

📯 BTW, you might recognize Curtis’s Aunt Stella from about a billion other things:

http://abc.soapsindepth.com/posts/general-hospital-curtis-aunt-stella-vernee-watson-134193

☎ James DePaiva (Max from One Life to Live) will also be joining the cast soon.

🗽 Signing off, but definitely watching Million Dollar Listing New York, where Frederik will be showing Bethenny a new property.

FreshPrinceKiss

Vernee Watson & Will Smith – Fresh Prince of Bel Air

 

Jun8

June 7, 2017 – Nina Says Good-by, Ramona Spontaneously Combusts, 1981 & Lotsa Food

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Jordan visits Curtis with a cupcake that has a candle in it. She remembered it was his birthday, and brought his favorite, red velvet. She tells him make a wish, and he says it already came true.

Finn and Hayden talk about the upcoming baby and his drug test. Obrecht overhears.

Elizabeth’s house is being fumigated from the class guinea pig’s visit. Cameran is miffed that he has to go to work with her.

Spencer says he’s still on French time, but Laura tells him to get his intercontinental butt in gear. He says now that Valentin is in custody, he can be in Port Charles permanently, instead of in exile.

Valentin asks Dante and Lulu how Charlotte is. Lulu told her that he’s away on business and there’s a time difference, so they couldn’t call right now, and it seemed to satisfy her. She says she wants what best for Charlotte, and Dante says that’s why they’re here. Valentin is going to prison, and they have to figure out what’s going to happen with her.

Anna thinks about what Valentin said about her own transgressions.

Finn tells Hayden that he’s not taking a backseat to prenatal visits just because he might be reinstated. She wonders why he seems skeptical about reinstatement. He says someone is tampering with his drug screens, but what if it’s not Brad? Hayden tells him good things are coming. She makes him say it, and they kiss.

Elizabeth tells Cameran he needs to do his summer reading. He takes out a comic book, and she’s like, no. Hayden comes to the desk. Elizabeth fills her in as to why Cameran is there, and Hayden says she has the day off, and can take Cameran for the day. She says it will be good practice. Elizabeth asks for what, and Hayden gets vague, talking about someday.

Spencer tells Laura that he knows his father isn’t coming back, but Laura is there, and Alexis. She says they’ve all missed him, but she put him in the school for his safety. Valentin being arrested is a good start, but she wants to know the charges will stick. Spencer talks about Anna being fearless and resourceful.

Mac sees Anna in the park. He says Robert thinks Valentin’s extradition will be hard on her. She says that Robert should mind his own business. It’s her job, but she thinks it has little to do with justice.

Nathan asks Nina how she is, and she says how do you think? To him Valentin is a fugitive; to her he’s her husband and he loves Charlotte. She says they could have gotten away if it wasn’t for her.

Lulu says Charlotte needs to be with her mother. He says she’ll be fine with Nina. Lulu tells him that Nina is the one who turned him in. Because she’s a selfish twit.

Jordan says she has to go to work. Curtis says he only gets one birthday, but she says it will still be his birthday when she gets off. He says it sounds like she has something planned, but he’d be happy to just be with her. She says he already has her, he doesn’t need to game her. He says it’s how he feels, and that every day with her is a gift. She says maybe she could push back some things to the afternoon. They get busy, and Curtis says, happy birthday to me.

Elizabeth agrees to Hayden taking Cameran for the afternoon. Laura arrives with Spencer. He says he moved back home, but Laura says they’re discussing it. He bluffed his way out of boarding school and turned up on her doorstep. Hayden tells him she’s sorry his dad is gone, and makes him promise that they’ll catch up. Elizabeth says that she doesn’t have to take Cameran. Cameran tells Spencer that he just missed Emma, and that they hung out. Laura says that today, Spencer is going to wait quietly while she goes to her meeting. He asks Hayden to save him, and she suggests he come with her and Cameran.

Anna says that Valentin isn’t innocent, but not as guilty as the bureau maintains. Max says she blames Alex. She says so far, Alex is refusing to cooperate, but it will change now that Valentin has been apprehended. She wonders if Alex will pin it all on him.

Nathan tells Nina that Valentin has committed so many crimes, they can’t even try him in the US. It has to go to the ICC. She tells him to stop acting like it’s black and white for her. Years ago, he had a weapon that he sold to Helena and it was horrible, but he also saved her life and got shot because of it. He fell in love with her and made her happier than she’s ever been. He made her part of a family, and it was real. She says she doesn’t know if she can turn her back on him.

Valentin tells Lulu that Nina was acting in Charlotte’s best interest, and will continue to do so as her stepmother. Lulu says she should have been in court this morning then, and he says they didn’t waste time. She asks him to help work through the transition to minimize Charlotte’s confusion and fear. Like it or not, they both have to be her parents right now.

Griff talks to Finn about Ava. He says his real concern is infection, and he needs Finn’s expertise. Obrecht says unless he can’t provide it.

Elizabeth calls Hayden. She’s at Perks with the boys, and she says she’s got this. They order drinks, and she asks if they’re allowed all that caffeine and sugar.

Lulu tells Valentin that Charlotte needs continuity. They need him to tell Charlotte that he wants her to stay with them. They need to make her understand, and it will be hard, but worse if he’s not in their corner. Valentin says he’ll do it on one condition – no one tells her why he’s there. He’ll choose the reason and tell her himself, and they’ll back him up. Lulu agrees. She says it’s really what’s best. Dante says they’ll be in touch.

Max asks if Anna is okay with testifying. She says Alex had no problem keeping her in a drug induced coma and impersonating her. He says what about Valentin? Is she going to be able to take the stand against him?

Valentin has a visitor. It’s Nina. He smiles at her.

Curtis says thanks for his dessert. Jordan says he barely touched it, and he says that he was satisfied with other desert. She leaves for work and there’s a knock at the door. It’s Curtis’s Aunt Stella. She asks if he always answers the door in his altogether, and when was the last time he cleaned. He asks if she’s okay. She says she came to surprise him on his birthday, and asks if it’s a problem. He says no, and tells her to have a seat. He asks if she wants anything, and she says to know what’s going on in his life.

Nathan tells Jordan that Valentin is behaving himself. Nina asks Valentin about his wound, and he says it’s healing. She says he must know they wouldn’t have found him if not for her. He asks if she’s apologizing. She says she didn’t think it would be good for Charlotte to be a fugitive. She thinks he knows that oo, and panicked, which isn’t his style. He says it wasn’t his best plan, but for the record, he was going to send for her. Nina says she’d be a fugitive too. He says they could have continued as a family, and would have been happy. Nina says now they’ll never know.

Anna tells Mac that she doesn’t have much to offer. It would just be her word against his. She can say he took the Chimera from the ballroom with the intention to destroy it, but surrendered it to her. She says she’ll be 100% honest, but any case they have rests with Alex.

Obrecht tells Griff that Finn is suspended and can’t do a consultation, but Griff says no one else is as experienced. Obrecht suggests that Finn’s judgement might be clouded by drugs. Griff asks Finn if he’s under the influence, and when Finn says no, he says it’s good enough for him. Obrecht asks if it will be good enough for Ava if Finn’s faculties are impaired. Griff says it’s just a consult; he’s not treating anyone. As they leave, Obrecht says nor will he be.

Hayden suggests the museum. Spencer likes it, but Cameran would rather go to the park and play soccer. Spencer says he knew it would be too intellectually challenging for Cameran, but they can go and Cameran can find a soccer game. Maybe someone will pick him up like the stray that he is. Cameran tells Spencer that no one missed him, adding that he kissed Emma and she loved it. Spencer throws whipped cream at him.

Laura tells Elizabeth that the meeting canceled. She says she could get Spencer, but Elizabeth tells her to do something for herself. Laura likes the sound of that, but her phone rings. It’s Hayden asking for help. Spencer and Cameran are going wild, throwing things, especially frothy things, all over the place.

Laura arrives at Perks she says that’s enough in her angry grandma voice. She tells the boys that they both know better than this. Cameran says Spencer started it, and Spencer says he was trying to protect himself. Laura tells them to clean up everything. She asks Hayden what happened. Hayden says they had caffeine and sugar and went crazy. She’s pregnant and what kind of mother is she going to be? She starts crying, and Laura hugs her

Finn asks to talk to Obrecht. He says he accepts she doesn’t like him, but doesn’t know why she’d want Ava to suffer. They don’t have to be friends, but just good doctors. He asks her to put her hate for him aside for long enough to do right by the patient.

Curtis tells Stella he’s still doing PI stuff, and really likes Port Charles. He offers to show her around, but she says she doesn’t want to be any trouble. She asks if he’s seeing anyone. He says he’s always seeing someone, and she asks if it’s someone she should meet. He starts talking about the hotel, and she says she can stay with him.

Robert calls Anna. She asks if his ears were burning, and then says, what? when?

Dante wonders if they should pull Charlotte and Rocco out of school for the day. Lulu says she’s worried about how Charlotte is going to handle the news. Dante says she has an extensive support system. Lulu says none of them are her father, and she’s going to find out the truth. She asks when it comes out, what if she blames Lulu? Because all Lulu ever thinks about is herself.

Valentin talks about how Nina turned him in once before, and that she made the right decision, but her eyes betrayed her. He knew he’d see her again. Now he loves her, and can’t imagine life without her. She says it was different last time, and part of her knew he’d come back. This time, he won’t. Even if he beats the charges, he won’t come back to her. He says he loves her. He has a past, and it’s over. Nina says so is the part with her and gives him divorce papers. Argh! My heart!

Stella asks Curtis if she’ll be in his way, and he says no; he’ll crash on the couch. She says she’ll cook, but he says his cupboards are bare. She says they’ll go shopping. He asks how long she’s staying, and she tells him long enough to celebrate his birthday and see TJ. As long as she doesn’t cross paths with his mother, she’ll be fine. Gulp.

Jordan is having something delivered for Curtis’s birthday. Nathan has the transfer information for Valentin, and they go to her office.

Nina tells Valentin that she’s not asking for anything except her freedom. Valentin says what if he doesn’t want to be free from her?

Laura tells Hayden that they don’t pop out like this. By the time they’re at this stage, you’ve learned to wrangle them. She says congratulations, and tells Hayden that she can do this. Hayden asks her not to tell Elizabeth, and Laura agrees to keep it between them.

Griff asks for a word with Finn. Finn asks how soon he can see patients. Griff tells him that the test was positive for opioids, and they have no reason to question the results, since he hasn’t noticed the venomous hate pulsating from Obrecht. Finn says, so he’s suspended.

Nina tells Valentin that she can’t be married to a man in prison, and can’t be step mother to a girl she loves who lives with another family. She says it was gorgeous and beautiful, but it’s over. He asks her not to do this. She says it’s one less thing for him to worry about and leaves. Outside, she leans on the door.

Mac asks Anna if it’s bad news, and she says it depends on your point of view. Alex escaped, and the WSB doesn’t know where she is.

Another visitor comes for Valentin. He says, of course it’s you.

Curtis argues with Stella about Jordan, Michael wants Ava to pay, and Carly asks why Nelle would do anything to help them.

The Real Housewives of New York City

When we last left the Wives, Ramona kept repeating, “Are you kidding me?” twenty-thousand times, after Bethenny told her she hadn’t been a good friend.

Ramona says, “wow,” a few times too. She talks about when Bethenny was sick and she visited. Bethenny informs her that those are crisis moments, and most people rise to the occasion. Ramona says Bethenny has never been there for her the same way. Bethenny brings up some of the idiotic, nasty things Ramona has done, including stealing dresses from her. In a major deflective move, Ramona says Bethenny was topless, had sex in a water bed, and kissed another woman in a film. Bethenny tells her to mention it all, and Ramona says she went out with men for the money. In her interview, Bethenny says she can’t even screw her way to the middle, let alone to the top. Ramona says that Bethenny pretends to be a successful woman, but her brand is done, and Ramona is on top. Bethenny suggests she look at the numbers. In her interview, Ramona says she wants to hurt Bethenny because Bethenny is hurting her. She says Bethenny has always been paid for, while she is a self-made woman. I wonder how much alimony she’s getting. Ramona starts crying about her marriage. Bethenny tells her that she doesn’t see herself, and Ramona calls her an opportunist and user. She says Bethenny is broken, and she feels sorry for her. Ramona says that she loves people, but Bethenny attacked her, so she’s attacking back. Bethenny says she did nothing of the sort, but the truth came out, and Ramona calls her Bethenny the bitchy witch because Ramona has the insult capability of a five-year-old. Bethenny says it figures nobody else was there, and no one will understand what just happened.

Ramona complains to Dorinda about Bethenny. Sonja says she told Ramona to leave Bethenny alone. Ramona tells her own version of the story, which is very different from what we just saw. Bethenny talks to Carole, saying that it defies description, and every jealous thing Ramona has been storing up, came out. In her interview, Sonja says she’s not giving what Ramona says much credence. Ramona claims that Bethenny had sex for money. Dorinda comes to Bethenny’s room, and Bethenny says she’s leaving. Ramona continues to spin everything that Bethenny has ever done. Dorinda says every time Bethenny comes there, it’s a nightmare for her, and she wishes Ramona was the one leaving. Carole says she’ll go back to the city with her. Ramona calls her a loser, saying that Bethenny is just using her. As Bethenny is leaving, Ramona says, you started it (omg, she really is five), and Bethenny says as long as she’s happy with herself. Bethenny tells Ramona that she got her way, and they’ll never speak again. Ramona asks why she’s such a vicious bitch, and Bethenny tells her, that’s why. Ramona insists she was just trying to apologize, doesn’t get what’s wrong with Bethenny, and babbles about how they’ll get over it. Bethenny says she’s never coming back here again.

Feeling better, Tinsley comes downstairs, and is like, wow. Dorinda asks if she was there for the whole thing, but she says she couldn’t, and asks what happened. Dorinda says she didn’t expect such a tremendous argument, but there’s always next year. She talks about coming down to get water at 2 am, and finding Sonja sleeping sitting up at the dining room table. She nearly freaked out, thinking Sonja had died from a heart attack. We all start laughing, as Dorinda paints a picture of her waking Sonja in a panic.

Ramona’s phone rings. In her interview, she says she knows she drank too much and had a loose tongue, but doesn’t remember what she said. However, when she talks to the other women, Ramona makes something else up, including that she’d been defending Dorinda. We flash back to when Ramona criticized Dorinda about John. In her interview, Dorinda says Ramona is trying to backtrack. The Countess LuAnn appears, and says she’s there to make eggs a la Française, which is the cure-all for everything. In her interview, Dorinda tells us that Sonja decided to wear a beautiful pair of pajamas her late husband had given her – that were in a zipped bag in the closet. Doesn’t Sonja have her own loungewear? They are really nice.

Ramona talks to herself about Bethenny as she packs. Seriously, there is something wrong with this woman. Dorinda bids good-by to Luann, and says another one down. Sonja jumps on Tinsley’s bed, and tells her that she’s decided to invade Tinsley’s space. Tinsley says she knows she’s living at Sonja’s, but it’s unfair to make her uncomfortable. She thinks Sonja blew the Conner thing out of proportion. Sonja thinks she’s been easy-going, yet reminds Tinsley again that she can’t use Conner. Tinsley says she’s got it. In her interview, Dorinda says she loves to see them coming, and loves to see the going. Finally, everyone is out.

Back at Dorinda’s apartment on the UES, Dorinda unpacks. She says Ramona trashed her room in the Berkshires, pulling light fixtures off the wall. We see a picture, and I think, who does that? I’m sure I’ve been as drunk as you can get, and I have never once pulled anyone’s light fixtures off the wall. Dorinda says the house in the Berkshires is her home and a legacy, and enough has been taken from her. I’d have Ramona freaking arrested. Dorinda says that Ramona never even said a word. She wonders if Ramona treats all of her friends like this. I’d change Ramona’s tagline to, If you like me, you must have no taste. I also have to mention that her pupils are HUGE. Just sayin’.

Tinsley visits Carole. Carole wonders how Tinsley can still be living at Sonja’s, and is going to show her an apartment in the building. In her interview, Carole says she wants to take Tinsley under her wing a bit. Tinsley says she doesn’t want to overstay her welcome. Carole shows her the apartment along with the owner. It’s gorgeous, no surprise, and also huge. And $7,100 a month. They go back to Carole’s, where Adam is creating a salad for lunch. Carole talks about an art gallery opening, and they discuss the building and the area. Tinsley is concerned about being too far from where she gets her blow-out. Carole wonders if she really wants a change, or does she want to repeat her past life? Adam takes blog pics of them eating the salad. If I could afford it, I’d move in there in a heartbeat. Or a New York minute as it were.

Bethenny and her assistant go over her schedule. Bethenny is feeling overloaded. She finds a dead moth in the closet that she spent ten grand to de-mothify. Her assistant looks up the moth on the internet.

Dorinda meets Jill Zarin and her husband, Bobby, at a restaurant. Dorinda and her late husband had been friends with them. Jill talks about having a luncheon way back when, and we see an old clip with Dorinda in it. Luann arrives with Tom in tow.  The Zarins have been invited to the wedding. Dorinda talks about the fight in the Berkshires. Luann adds that Ramona had been swilling pinot, and brings up Ramona’s interest in Tom’s behavior. Tom says Ramona has made it her mission to dig up dirt on him. Luann says that they don’t let gossip interfere with their relationship. Jill talks about when Ramona blew off her party to do something else, and we see some old clips of altercations between the two of them. Tom says he doesn’t care so much, but feels badly for Luann. Jill says that Ramona’s life is such a mess, she wants everyone else’s to be a mess. She’s lonely, so she wants everyone else to be. Dorinda thinks Ramona isn’t unhappy, but going through something. Like what? Menopause? Jill gets nosy about who was invited to the wedding.

Carole arrives at the gallery opening. She is the subject of many a painting, being the nude muse for the artist. Carole greets Dorinda. They discuss the fight, and Carole thinks both Ramona and Bethenny are coming. Dorinda is about to say something important, when Tinsley interrupts. Dorinda tells them that her house was destroyed, and Ramona’s room was a disaster area. Bethenny joins them, wondering if the topless paintings will bother anyone. Dorinda says the room was trashed. She thinks that somehow Ramona feels betrayed. Bethenny says unless she the one who had sex with Mario, she shouldn’t be treated that way.

Ramona makes a grand entrance. Bethenny heads in the other direction. Dorinda talks about how lovely Carole’s natural boobs are. Ramona acts like an over-enthused jerk about her own anatomy, and I’d be embarrassed to be seen with her. Dorinda tells her that her room was a disaster, and it made her feel depressed. Ramona ignores her, and goes on about something else. Dorinda says if she was a bitch, she’d sue Ramona. Do it! Carole’s dentist arrives, and she introduces him to Tinsley because he’s single.

Sonja blows in. Bethenny greets her, and she asks if Bethenny has put the Berkshires behind her. Bethenny says everything Ramona ever did flashed before her eyes, and now she gets how Ramona feels about her. She says she hit the jack pot, and she never saw someone so jealous about it. She tells Sonja that you can’t be a friend with someone who has a rifle pointed at you. Ramona horns into the conversation, saying hello to Sonja, and Bethenny says ttyl. Sonja starts to reprimand Ramona, but Ramona interrupts, reminding her of last season when Bethenny said she was never talking to Sonja again. She calls Bethenny judgmental, and says she has two sets of rules, and she’s sick of it. I know people who are like that, but I don’t think Bethenny is one of them. Sonja says Ramona messed up, but in typical fashion, can never admit she’s wrong.

Dorinda and Carole discuss the paintings.

Tom and Luann head out to Palm Beach. In her interview, Luann says she’s happy, excited, and nervous; it’s overwhelming and fabulous at the same time. She says they’ve been through hell, but they got through it. They discuss some details in the car. She thinks they shouldn’t be together the night before. Ooh, it’s a private helicopter. Luann says she got the glass slipper and that’s why they’re all pissed off.

This season, sun and fun, snow and fun, Carole sets up Tinsley, Harry makes an appearance, suckerfish Jason Hoppy gets arrested for stalking, a party in Mexico, Bethenny and Ramona tangle some more, and Tinsley and Sonja rumble. Sonja says, welcome to her friend group, like they’re toddlers, which is appropriate.

🎉 Tonight, Andy Cohen’s Then & Now covered 1981 – one of my favorite years! Morgan Fairchild was on the cover of every magazine; Tori Spelling got her first job on Vegas – her one line being “Hi, Uncle Dan.” Dynasty was the big TV show, and also bred shoulder pads. They were in every garment too. Since I’m built like a small football player, I was constantly removing them. The connection to today’s obsession with rich reality TV families, like the Kardashians and the Real Housewives was discussed. Ronald Reagan became POTUS, and was also shot, telling Nancy that he forgot to duck. MTV was born, with Video Killed the Radio Star being its first effort. Bevy Smith commented that it looked like something from a puppet theater, which made me laugh. Truth! The B52s were also interviewed. Fred Schneider is friends with someone I know, and we’ve crossed paths occasionally. Unfortunately, I’ve yet to get a chance to sing Love Shack with him at karaoke.

The Royal Wedding happened, and even I got up before the crack of dawn to watch. It was commented that, although beautiful, Diana’s dress looked heavy and miserable, and that the marriage went much the same way. Lisa Vanderpump also married Ken Todd that year, and used the same dress designer. I think I actually like her dress better. Less poufy. We also now know where Andy keeps his stash – in a Charles and Diana commemorative tea tin. General Hospital‘s Luke and Laura were also wed. I was there too, albeit through my VCR. It was talked about how today, protests would be had and tweets would be sent over the storyline of a rapist marrying their victim. Mommie Dearest was a top film, and also the basis for RuPaul’s Drag Race persona. We also met the first child conceived by IVF, who talked about being trotted out at every life milestone to prove she was still “normal.”

Next time, 2008, Britney Spear’s downfall, Bernie Madoff, and the Octomom.

🍳 MasterChef was still passing out white aprons, the last one going to a cowboy cook. The loser said he was going home proud, as he should be, and that he lost fair and square to a guy with a good cupcake.

🍴 On The f Word, James Corden, funny as usual, competed with Gordon in a cookoff and lost. He commented on how different Gordon was on this show, saying he thought he was always grumpy in the kitchen. The Cooking Cubans faced School Pride in the restaurant challenge, School Pride winning with the most succulent Southern-style pork chop ever. Gordon also fed some NASCAR drivers, and did a spin around the track of his own. Next time, Katy Perry is up against Gordon, and there’s scuba diving for dinner.

 

Jun7

June 6, 2017 – Spencer Returns & Chef Adam Loves Onions

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Laura tells Lulu that Valentin won’t let anything happen to Charlotte. Lulu says it’s her fault for warning him. She wanted to spare Charlotte the pain of seeing her father taken away. Anna arrives, and says she thinks she knows where Valentin is.

Charlotte tells Valentin that something is wrong and someone is in big trouble.

At the hospital, Julian tries to talk to Lucas, but Lucas isn’t having it. He asks if Lucas has any compassion left for his father.

Sam brings Scout to meet Alexis at Perks. Alexis says she’s going to focus on her girls. Sam calls Scout by the wrong name, and Alexis asks if she’s okay.

Sonny pours drinks for Jason and himself. He wants to drink to justice – the kind of karma that bites someone in the ass. He says he let Ava live so she can suffer. She loses everything, and it’s the hell she deserves.

Sam tells Alexis that it’s the first time she’s raised a kid from scratch; she’s exhausted and thrown off her game. Alexis suggests she take some time for herself.

Jason asks what Sonny would have done if there hadn’t been a fire. Sonny says he would have let Ava run, and when people stopped missing her, he would have dealt with her on his terms. He says she’s in constant pain now, and will have surgeries for many years to come. He tells Jason that Ava tried to turn it around, saying that he and Carly had failed their son, and it’s a parent’s worst nightmare to think they failed when they were needed most.

Julian tells Lucas that he wishes things were different, and he’s sorry. Lucas asks what he’s sorry for – his crimes or that he has to pay for them. Julian says both. At least he’s honest.

Charlotte tells Valentin that people come and look for you when you skip school. Valentin promises her she’s not in trouble, and he’ll call it a field trip, so she’ll get extra credit. He tells her that he wants to play a game. It’s like Halloween, but they make up new names and life stories. If anyone asks anything, they’ll have the answers. To win, they have to play all the time, even when they’re by themselves. He gives her a passport with a new name, Geneviève. Valentin is Gaspar, and they hail from Montreal.

Anna tells Lulu about how Nina said Charlotte always wanted to visit Niagara Falls. She says if Valentin gets her across the border, they can disappear. Dante says one thing they have going for them is that he’s traveling with his daughter. Lulu asks what she can do. Anna says she’s Charlotte’s mother, and Valentin is a realist; he’d prefer Charlotte be with her than be a ward of the state. Laura says she’ll watch Rocco and man the phone. Anna tells Lulu, let’s go get your daughter. Like it’s going to be that simple.

Valentin quizzes Charlotte in French. There’s a knock at the door, and he tells her to practice her French in the bedroom. The hotel manager tells Valentin that someone was asking about them, but since Valentin was so generous at check-in, he knew nothing. Valentin slips him more money to be discreet. He tells Charlotte they have to go, and now the real game begins. He makes a call, saying there’s a change of plans, and he needs a car now.

Alexis tells Sam to go to the spa; she needs some time to recharge. Sam says she can’t ditch Scout, but Alexis says that’s what grandmas do – take the kids, corrupt them, and then give them back. Sam agrees to go. Alexis tells Scout that she thought Sam would never leave.

Lucas says he has no compassion for Julian. He tells Julian keep walking if he sees him outside of the hospital, and good luck in prison. Julian says that Lucas owes him nothing, but it still hurts.

Sonny tells Jason that when Morgan started to spiral, they couldn’t find the answer, but it was right in front of them. Why didn’t they just look?

Spencer is back! Laura opens the door, and there he is.

Charlotte tells Valentin that he promised they could see the Falls. He says sometimes plans change, but they’ll see them. He tells her that sometimes things don’t go your way, but they’ll be fine if they’re together. There’s a knock at the door. Valentin thinks it’s the car, but it’s Anna, Dante, and Lulu, who must have gotten there in a Star Trek transporter. I guess it was that simple.

Jason talks to Sonny about losing Jake, and wondering how he was going to get past it. Sonny says you can’t. The only knowledge he gained is that nothing is permanent. Jason doesn’t think Sonny and Carly are done just yet. He thinks they might have been brought closer by facing Ava down.

Julian sees Alexis at Perks. He tells her that she doesn’t have to leave. He looks at Scout. Alexis tells him to say hello to his granddaughter.

Laura asks Spencer how he got there. He’s like, um… She asks if he left school and flew by himself. He says there’s an app for everything. She asks how the school let him leave. He tells her that there’s also an app that can create a text from one’s grandmother saying there’s a family emergency. She says for shame, but he says shame never got anyone anywhere. She says she’s angry, but still glad he’s there because she can emotionally multitask. He brings up Valentin, and she says he’ll get what’s coming to him. Spencer says that’s why he’s here – he’s going to avenge his father and reclaim Windemere. He says Valentin would have kidnapped him if not for Sonny.

Charlotte comes out, and Lulu says, surprise! Valentin talks to Charlotte in French. She asks if she’s in trouble. He says no, but he wants her to go with her mother. He and Charlotte look sadly at each other.

Valentin asks if Charlotte feels at home with Lulu and their family. She says she does, and he tells her to go with them, and make him proud. She asks when he’s getting her. He says he has business to take care of, but it will be soon. She says he can take her to the Falls after school is over. He tells her good-by, and Dante and Lulu leave with her. He cries, and he’s making me want to cry.

Spencer says it sounds like Laura is going to try and talk sense into him. Laura tells him to stay away from Valentin. Spencer says he’ll make her mistress of Windemere again. She says that Windemere is big and cold, and it’s more comfortable here. He asks if they can get a pizza; he’s missed the local cuisine. She says she’s missed him, but has to send him back to France for his own good.

Sam gets a massage, but she’s not feeling it. The masseuse tells her to relax.

Alexis introduces Julian and Scout to each other. She asks if Julian wants to hold Scout, and he says more than almost anything. She’s very cute, and looks like a teeny tiny Hawaiian. Julian talks baby-talk to her. Alexis says she wishes Sam would take better care of herself; she practically had to force Sam to let her babysit. She asks about Ava, and Julian says there’s no change. He says if he goes to prison, there will be no going away party. and if he ends up alone, it’s on him. Alexis looks sad. God almighty, today is all about children and sad faces.

Valentin wants Anna’s word that Charlotte will want for nothing, saying that she’s extraordinary. Anna says he shouldn’t have run with her. What would have happened if there was a high-speed chase or SWAT team? She says that’s the man she knows, the one who made the good gesture. He says courts don’t recognize a gesture. He pulls out a gun, and tells Anna not to take it personally.

She asks if he’s going to kill her, and if that’s the legacy he wants to leave. He says he’ll never see Charlotte again. He’ll be shipped to a super max for the rest of his life by the ICC. Anna struggles with him, and the gun goes off.

Laura reminds Spencer about how great he thought the school was. He says he has a new perspective; any place that keeps him from his grandmother and pizza is a prison. She says he’s laying it on pretty thick. He asks how he can save the family while he’s conjugating French verbs.

Sonny tells Jason that he and Carly didn’t die; it must count for something. He asks about Sam and the kids. Jason says they’re great. Sonny says Olivia-J and Ava, one is as bad as the other. Jason thinks it’s not possible to love anything more than he loves his family.

Sam is still having a hard time. She apologizes, and the masseuse tells her to try and let go. She says sorry, she can’t do this. She’s just not big on massages.

Alexis tells Julian that at least he’s acknowledging the pain and damage that he caused. She says she did the same when she was drinking. She tells him that people don’t change overnight; some don’t change at all. Some can’t change who they are, but they can either change what they do, or make excuses and go back to hurting people. Julian says he’s not going to do that. He wants to prove himself worthy of her love. He reminds her about the hotel room, and says he loves her too. She says sometimes love isn’t enough, which is almost as bad as “love means never having to say you’re sorry.”

Sonny tells Jason that all he wanted is for his family to be safe and secure, but even if you plan for the future, the past is there to breathe down your neck

Julian tells Scout that if he gets paroled, he’ll come to her wedding. He’s sure that since he turned down the DA’s deal, they’re going to come after him full force. Alexis says that maybe Scotty is better than they think. Alexis leaves. Julian calls Scotty, and says there’s something important he has to talk about.

Sam gets home. Jason asks if she forgot the baby, but Sam says she’s with Alexis. She tells him about the massage, and how it had the opposite affect – she’s more tense now.

On the phone, Laura says that she’s glad everyone is all right. Spencer chows down on pizza. She tells him that she has a surprise of her own. He asks if he’s the surprise she’s talking about, ergo he’s staying. She says ergo nothing; she might send him home on a red eye. He says people bring their livestock on those. Is he talking about Snakes on a Plane? She tells him he can stay for now, and hugs him. We could all use some Spencer in our lives.

Anna and Valentin look into the mirror that was shot. Anna says that’s not him he’s looking at. She takes the gun, saying she remembers him; he’s a good man, and she liked and admired him. He says she didn’t want him kissing her. She says she was young, stupid, and naïve, and regrets it; she’s not the enemy. She didn’t manipulate him; it was Alex who betrayed him. He says but now she’s arresting him – it’s ironic. He tells her that she has transgressions of her own. He hopes there as good as gone, or someone will come for her one day. She asks if it will it make him happy, and he says no. She had her reasons. She’s changed and made a good life, and he hopes she keeps it; one of them should. He asks what she’s waiting for, and she reads him his rights, tears running down her face. He’s going to be extradited. If found guilty, he’ll go to a super max facility.

Tomorrow, Griff talks to Finn, Jordan and Curtis celebrate, and Lulu tells Valentin that Nina turned him in. Because she’s really an evil human being.

Below Deck Mediterranean

Adam tells Malia to forget about Wes. He kisses her, and she comes out with her lipstick all smeared like it’s a walk of shame. Max says it looks like a crime scene, and she didn’t even try to hide it. As usual, only thinking of himself, Bobby says he guesses any shot he had with her is gone. Who knows? Lauren and Hannah whisper, wondering who it was she was kissing, and Malia says say it to her face. Lauren says she just wants to know which one, but Malia says a lady never tells, the word “lady” being debatable. She tells Lauren that if she has anything to say, say it to her face and not to Hannah. Lauren suggests that next time, Malia take her makeup off first, before parading around.

Lauren sees Adam with his face full of lipstick, and says it’s him. Malia tells her that she kissed Wes too, and repeats that if she wants to know something, ask her. Lauren says she has to pick one, or there will be drama. In her interview, Malia says it’s no one else’s business. She tells Wes that he and Adam both kissed her tonight, and bugs Lauren again. In his interview, Wes says he broke his own rule because it felt natural, but now it hurts. Hey dude, at least you found out what she’s like early on.

Lauren tells Malia she’s worked on yachts before, and suggests it’s not a good look to make out with two guys that share a room. Hannah says they need to call it a night.

Wes asks Adam how he’s feeling, and tells him they both kissed Malia, which is apparently the theme tonight. Lauren says she didn’t do anything wrong, but now her roommate hates her. She tells Bugs what happened. Bugs asks if Wes knows, and now wishes she hadn’t told him to go for it.

Max says a storm is coming up, but Malia thinks it came last night. The crew gets ready for the new charter. Adam insists on a group hug with Malia and Wes. Ew! This is too creepy for me, but Malia is glad they’re not making it difficult for her. She hopes nothing happens with Bobby now. Like she has no control over this

Amber and Ken are the primaries, and Hannah remembers them from last season. We flash back to a bunch of unsettling drunks in the hot tub. Hannah hopes they step up their game and have an orgy. Their two main requests are make sure they never run out of vodka and Ken wants nothing to do with onions. They also want a water toy obstacle course, and to see some waterfalls. A ferry will have to be taken to the falls, since they don’t allow yachts that close.

A slide and a trampoline arrive. Wes says slides are his kryptonite. I know that everyone hates them. They’re difficult to handle and take up a lot of space. Malia finds Lauren doing laundry, and they hug it out. Lauren says she’s sorry if she hurt Malia’s feelings. Malia says she was feeling defensive, and she’s not that kind of girl, which I find doubtful. Lauren says everyone has one of those nights, and she’ll just forget it happened.

Hannah and Wes go over the schedule. Bugs apologizes to Wes, who says Malia doesn’t come across as that kind of person, but he’s cool with Adam. Adam tells Hannah it’s all good, but she wonders about that. He asks if he should find Wes another chick, since Malia is his. In his interview, he says typically, you don’t date your boss, so Wes should back off. Bugs asks Wes if he’s going to talk to Malia, and he says there are rules for reasons.

The guests arrive. Bobby is stoked to have Kenny and Amber back. Hannah gives the tour, and asks how they’ve been. Probably drunk. She introduces them to the hot tub, and wonders if there will be an eightsome. Captain Sandy tells Wes that he’s going to be doing everything.

Hannah tells Ken that the chef is good, and he asks if she’s sweet on him. She tells him that homie don’t play that. Bobby thinks they should get a student driver sign for the yacht with Wes in charge. Malia thinks it’s sexy the way Wes steers them off the dock. Okay.

Lauren would rather do laundry than have lunch. She wants to prove herself to Hannah. Bobby tells the new crew members about the last charter with Ken. Why is Adam preparing leeks? He says if the recipe calls for onions, he’s putting them in. Idiot. He watches as Ken picks them out, totally ignoring that and acting like he’s triumphed over onion dislike.

The nemesis slide is set up. Max tests it out. It does look like fun. They set up the trampoline, which doesn’t look like as much fun. The vodka flows. Hannah thinks Lauren is improving, and she hopes it stays that way. The guests change into their beachwear and play. Malia and Wes take the trampoline out on the Jet ski.

Hannah tells Lauren that she’s sending her to the waterfalls with the guests. Lauren is excited, and says it’s just what she needed to hear. Wes and Hannah discuss the trip. Malia will be going too, and Hannah says they’ll be taking the same ferry as the guests. The slide is brought back up with much grunting and groaning.

Adam is having trouble with the whole no onion thing. In his interview, he says that the heart of Southern cooking (which I’m assuming was their preference) is peppers, garlic and onions. Since when? He thinks the food will taste like sh*t without the onions. I don’t even cook that much, and I know there are recipes with no onions. I’m starting to think this guy is more of a cook than a chef. If he can’t figure out an alternative recipe, he certainly isn’t very talented. I’m sort of not liking him all around at this point.

Max calls his girlfriend, and says he misses her all the time, which is very sweet. Adam gets dinner prepared. Another gorgeous table, this time done in purple and gold. One of the guests makes a toast to nipples, saying that without them, breasts would be pointless. Sigh. Ken isn’t thrilled with his dinner. Hannah apologizes, and tells him that she’ll talk to Adam. In her interview, she’s like, why? Adam says it’s the first plate that’s ever come back. Well, then maybe he should listen to the preferences. Hannah doesn’t know what his problem is. Omg, the new dish still has chives in it. Ken can’t believe it – neither can I – and Amber tells Hannah it’s the only thing he doesn’t like. Hannah asks Adam to make something without anything from the onion family in it. Adam claims that people with new money always try to hold it over your head, and just send food back because they can, which makes no sense whatsoever. Even if they’re a little sloppy drunk, these guests seem fairly easy-going, and Adam is making a huge mistake here. Hannah tells Adam not to take it out on her. She doesn’t know where the attitude is coming from, but he’d better drop it. Where’s Ben when you need him? If the tip is lacking, this will totally be Adam’s fault. This also reminds me of something that happened to my father when he was dating my mother. The first time he had dinner at my grandparents’, it was misunderstood that he didn’t like mushrooms, and they were in everything – for example, not just in the gravy for the mashed potatoes, but in the potatoes themselves. At least, I think it was a misunderstanding. Now I’m wondering.

Hannah takes the third plate out. Dessert is banana bread pudding which sounds unappetizing, but looks wonderful. Adam promises a better dinner service tomorrow.

It’s hot tub time! One of the guests cuts their foot and bleeds into the water. Blech. Lauren says they’re drinking champions, and Hannah is concerned that they’re going to run out of vodka already. They only brought twenty bottles. Bugs talks to Adam about Malia. One of the guests wanders around with no pants. And no underwear either. Just a bunch of pixilated squares.

It’s morning, and the guests start off with Bloody Marys. Lauren wishes Bugs could come on the waterfall trip; she doesn’t want the guests to be let down. The river is absolutely beautiful. The captain gives Wes instructions for docking. Wes gives the directions, and she tells him nicely done. Bugs tells Hannah that Lauren is stressing out, and suggests they send another stew with her. Hannah is miffed about Bugs telling her how to do her job, but tells Lauren that Bugs can go with her.

Hannah says it’s like a beach picnic on steroids. They have to make sure everything is packed, since it’s not like they can just jet back to the yacht. Hannah asks Wes how he’s doing with his love interest, but he has no clue what’s going on. Adam is concerned about the food being out for too long already. He thinks it’s unprofessional of Hannah to be running late. I’m stunned. She tells him that he’s welcome to take the initiative with the food; she can’t do everything. He suggests that Bugs should be the chief stew, and Hannah suggests they get a chef who can read preference sheets. Exactly.

Next time, Adam and Malia take selfies at the waterfalls, obstacle course day happens, Bobby asks Malia if she’s interested, and Adam serves onion soup to be funny. Hint: The guests don’t think it is.

Welcome Back, Spencer!

GHSpencer

Jun6

June 5, 2017 – A Niagara Falls Vacation, a Walk in the Park, Savannah Goes to Charlotte & Upcoming Shows

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Anna tells Lulu that technically, Valentin has full custody of Charlotte, and has done nothing wrong. Dante comes home, and Lulu tells him about Valentin taking Charlotte.

Omg, Valentin has taken Charlotte to one of my favorite places in the world – Niagara Falls. He tells Charlotte they’re on vacation. She asks where Nina is.

Having coffee at Perks, and thinking about Valentin saying no matter what, he loves her.

Jason calls Elizabeth who fills him in on Jake. Carly walks in just as he’s leaving. He tells her that what happened started with Helena and ended at the Nurses Ball. Wasn’t she there? She tells him she knows why Morgan spiraled out of control. It was Ava; she sabotaged him.

Sonny tells Ava that she deserves what she’s getting. She asks him to kill her.

Lulu tells Dante that it’s all her fault. She went upstairs for a minute, and now she’ll probably never see her daughter again. She says Valentin is a master of vanishing in plain sight. Anna says he’s not going to make it easy. They don’t even know where to start looking.

Nina calls the hospital and asks about Valentin. She’s told that he checked out. I find this hard to believe, since they won’t give you any information about anyone these days.

Valentin tells Charlotte he’ll get situated, and she can pick out cool stuff to do. He has to meet a friend. He says Nina is a little angry with him. Charlotte asks if it’s because of Jake.

Laura stops by Elizabeth’s place to see how Jake is, but he’s sleeping. She tells Elizabeth how worried Charlotte was, but she and Emma woke up in good spirits, and Jake will get over it too. She shows Laura the shipping label from the magic kit. She thought it was odd how obsessed Jake was with it, but she was glad he was interested in something. She asks if she’s a bad mom.

Carly explains to Jason how Morgan’s pills were switched. He asks why Ava did it, and Carly says she thought he was bad for Kiki and wanted him committed. He asks where she is, and Carly tells him about how she and Sonny confronted Ava at the warehouse, and Ava started the fire. She says they got out, but she was trapped. He asks if it was anything they did, and Carly says they’ve been cleared of any wrongdoing. He tells her to steer clear of Ava, but Carly says Sonny wants her dead, and she’s not stopping him this time.

Ava tells Sonny to do what he came to do. He says he should have done it a long time ago. He talks about wanting payback after Connie’s murder, but he let her live because she was pregnant. He doesn’t regret Avery, but regrets every breath Ava has taken since. She could have ended up killing Carly like she did their son. Ava asks him to put her out of her misery. That was probably the wrong thing to say. Now he’ll never do it.

Sonny says no. He says the fire did a number on her, like it did on Morgan. He talks about the weeks before Morgan’s death, and how his mind was on fire, and he didn’t understand why he was spiraling. He suggests that he switch her morphine to sugar water. He says he has plenty of time, and she’ll be trapped in agony. Death is too merciful.

Nathan meets Nina at Perks. She tells him Valentin checked himself out of the hospital, and she can’t get ahold of him. Popping in out of nowhere, Anna says he’s a fugitive, and Nina has to help them find him.

Charlotte tells Valentin that when she brings him up, Lulu changes the subject. He says it’s a misunderstanding, like when you play telephone, and it’s better that they go away for a while. Charlotte says she never said good-by, and it’s rude. He tells her they can send Lulu a postcard. She goes off with the tourist maps, and Valentin calls someone. He needs to meet them right now.

Dante tells Lulu that they’ll find Valentin, and to let them do their job. She says she shouldn’t have told him, and never thought he’d run, but Dante says he had to have known. Dante tells her that Charlotte would have become a ward of the state, and Lulu says she can’t even blame Valentin, she’d do the same thing in his position. She says that she needs to be searching, but Dante says there’s a reason families aren’t involved in searches, and they have to do it by the book. He suggests Charlotte might call her, and Lulu says she knows how to find her.

Nurse Deanna asks Griff to do an assessment of Ava. Ava asks if Sonny is just going to watch her suffer, and he says it’s his pleasure. She’ll wish every day that he’d ended things. If there’s a minute she isn’t suffering, he’ll kill her. Griff walks in and asks what’s going on.

Carly tells Jason that Morgan is dead, Ava is alive, where the justice? Jason says she’s not going to honor her son this way, and she says easy for him to say. His children are alive.

Laura makes coffee. Elizabeth says Jake is still asleep. Laura tells her she’s not a bad mother. She had no way of knowing that Spencer didn’t send the package, and she would have had to be a psychic to know what was in the box. Elizabeth says she felt powerless, but Laura says that she wasn’t. Anna told her about how she talked Jake down. She says there’s something that goes deeper to the core of his soul than Helena’s programming – Elizabeth’s love for him; that’s what saved him. She brought her son back from the brink of disaster, and saved a lot of other people.

Lulu says Charlotte has a cellphone that can only call Valentin, but can receive calls. She finds a Post-It with the number, and calls it.

In Niagara Falls, Charlotte’s phone rings, and she answers it. Charlotte tells Lulu that she sounds scared. Lulu says she is; when she came back downstairs, Charlotte was gone. Charlotte asks if she was mad, but Lulu says just concerned. She asks where Valentin is, and Charlotte tells her that papa is in the other room. Lulu says she can pick her up, but Charlotte says they’re finally going on a trip that she wanted to go on. Lulu asks where she is. Valentin takes the phone and asks who Charlotte is talking to.

Nina tells Anna it’s not her problem they set her up. She says she just found out Valentin isn’t in the hospital. Anna asks if she wants Charlotte to be a fugitive for the rest of her life. She says Valentin isn’t thinking clearly. Nina says she doesn’t know where Charlotte is. Anna asks if she’d tell if she did.

Valentin takes the phone. Lulu asks where they are. He tells her that calling is a violation of their agreement. She says when Anna finds them, it won’t be good for Charlotte. Valentin says if she wants what’s best for Charlotte, not to contact them again, and hangs up. It wasn’t enough time for Dante to trace the call.

Elizabeth wonders how Helena had the Chimera, and Laura brings her up to speed. Elizabeth asks if there’s anyone’s life Valentin hasn’t turned upside down. Laura tells her that even so, Valentin wouldn’t turn over the Chimera, and got shot saving Nina’s life. He’s alive and wounded, but expected to survive. Elizabeth says it sounds heroic, but Laura says it doesn’t redeem him in her eyes. She can’t dismiss him as being an unfeeling monster anymore though. He raised her granddaughter and Charlotte loves him. She doesn’t know how Lulu is going to reconcile this. Elizabeth says she loved Nicholas and hated his dad, but Laura says by the time Nicholas came back, Stavros was gone. Elizabeth says that people who you believed are past redemption can find the strength to do better. Laura says Valentin is facing criminal charges, and will be sent to prison. It won’t erase the problems, but it should make them simpler, and they could all use a little bit of simple.

Sonny says he didn’t know Griff was the attending physician. Griff says it’s on the chart that Sonny isn’t supposed to be holding. He tells Sonny that he should have him arrested. Sonny says he was just checking on Ava’s condition, like Griff is stupid. He tells Griff about how Ava’s machinations killed Morgan. Griff says it’s a matter for the police. Sonny says he hopes that Ava lives a long life, and leaves. Dammit, Griff! I wish he would call the police. It’s annoying to me that Sonny and Carly have both done horrible things, yet act all sanctimonious when the shoe is on the other foot. And okay, I didn’t really like Morgan all that much and miss him not at all.

Carly apologizes to Jason. She never wants to make light of what happened with Jake. He says he’s there for her. There’s a knock at the door. It’s too-creepy-for-my-taste-right-now Sonny. Jason says he’s sorry. Sonny says there’s no way he could have known. Carly says Sonny put all the pieces together. He says he thought if he got answers, they could get closure and peace, but he’s not feeling the peace. He tells Carly he went to the hospital, but thinks the best punishment is for Ava to live.

Griff tells Ava they don’t think there’s any permanent nerve damage, which is good news. She says not good news to her. She can’t live like this. He says she’ll be assessed for skin grafts, but it will be a while before they can start. He talks about the complications. Ava says there’s no hope.

Charlotte asks if she did something wrong. Valentin says it’s his fault. She asks if they can see some sights, and he says they’re going to see her nana too. There’s a knock at the door, and he asks her to go in the bedroom while he discusses boring stuff with his friend. When Charlotte is gone, the friend gives him two passports.

Nina asks Anna if Valentin deserves to be arrested. She goes over what Alex did, and says it wasn’t Valentin’s idea; he did it to help her. He went on the run with a life-threatening condition; the scoliosis would have killed him. She says he had no choice and didn’t know what he was doing, being so young. He didn’t do any of it, and saved the day. Nathan says it’s not that simple, but Nina says what if it is? Valentin changed his life. She asks if he believes people can change, then asks Anna if she doesn’t think people deserve a second chance.

Lulu calls Anna, telling her about the phone call, and says all she and Dante know is that Charlotte is taking a trip she wanted to go on. Anna says thanks, and she’s working on it. Anna tells Nathan and Nina what happened, and asks Nina if she knows where they might be. Nathan says she really needs to tell them if she knows anything. Don’t do it, Nina.

Elizabeth straightens up. She looks at the shipping label again.

Carly asks how it’s punishment for Ava to move on with her life. Sonny says she’ll be in recovery a long time, and if she does recover, she’ll be tried. Carly asks when he started trusting the legal system. She says that there are ways it wouldn’t be traced back to them, but Sonny says that Ava will suffer for life. Carly says that at least she has a life, unlike their son, and walks out

Griff tells Ava that he didn’t say there was no hope. In medical school, they’re trained to speak clinically, but he can speak with her as a priest. In difficult times, he’s found his faith to be a comfort. He says it might be breaking regulations, but he can pray with her. She thanks him. He takes her hand and prays the Hail Mary. She prays with him.

Laura asks Lulu why there are squad cars outside. Lulu tells her that Valentin went on the run, and took Charlotte. They hug. Dante promises they’ll find her.

Anna asks Nina where Valentin might take Charlotte. Nina says maybe Bulgaria. Nathan thinks there must be somewhere closer to home. Anna insists she has to tells them, and Nina is like, are you kidding? Nathan says life on the road is no life for Charlotte or Valentin. Anna says the WSB will never stop looking, and it won’t be old friends who find them. Nina balks at Anna being an old friend, but Nathan asks what if he gets shot, and says that they should take him peacefully while they have the chance. Nina says Niagara Falls is where Valentin would have taken Charlotte for a vacation. Dammit!

Valentin says that once they cross border, they’re disappearing.

Tomorrow, Jason and Sonny talk, Lucas is alive (I sometimes wonder, when he disappears for so long) and talking to Julian, Anna thinks she knows where Valentin is, and Valentin needs a car now.

Southern Charm

A petting zoo with kittens and bunnies is set up for Saint’s birthday party. I guess it’s better than the kids poking at llamas and donkeys. Thomas says the days are long, but the years are short. Everyone is getting ready, but Landon cancels. Elizabeth is riding with Kathryn. Kathryn tells us it’s a huge deal for her. She’s in a completely different place, and she’s anxious to show that.

On the way there, Cameran and Patricia talk about the party. Patricia thinks it must be embarrassing to come as a guest to your own son’s party, and they bemoan that there probably won’t be booze.

Kathryn arrives. Kelsie is drinking sweet tea, which is just what children need to consume – caffeine and lots of sugar. Kathryn thanks Thomas for his letter, and he apologizes for his penmanship. I’d be impressed that penmanship was involved at all. He watches as Kathryn holds Saint. She compliments him on the party. Some little kids arrive, and JD (bleh) calls it a perfect family gathering.

Thomas tells JD (bleh) that it’s a baby step with Kathryn. Patricia immediately wants to know where the pseudo petting zoo is. If she can’t have liquor, she can at least pet a kitten. Chelsea shows up with Austen, and the cheese Shep arrives alone. Kathryn waves to Jennifer, but keeps walking. In her interview, Jennifer says you would think she’d want to see the baby. She says she knows all she needs to know. Whatever that means.

Chelsea asks Kathryn if she’s done her headshots yet, but she’s still waiting on that. In her interview, Patricia says she has no intention of having a conversation with Kathryn, since she’s not a hurricane or tornado tracker. The cake comes out, and everyone sings Happy Birthday. Saint gets a little cake of his own. Because he needs more sugar than everyone else. In her interview, Kathryn says if things could be this way forever, she’d be happy. No, you’d still have to deal with Thomas.

Kathryn gives Thomas a picture of Saint from when he was just born. In his interview, Thomas feels sad that the kids can’t have both parents all the time. The Great Philosopher JD (bleh) says that kids do better with both parents. Thomas and Kathryn take a family photo.

Landon meets Jennifer at a restaurant, bearing a baby gift. A pillow with Ascher’s name on it, which I assume is more for Jennifer, since baby’s aren’t supposed to have pillows now. Sitting out on the deck, they order champagne and fancy food. Landon asks about the party. Jennifer says there were no altercations, and in her interview, Landon says two-hours of good behavior doesn’t impress her. She tells Jennifer about going to dinner with Thomas. She says just as she was telling Thomas that she didn’t want a relationship, a drunk stranger said they were soulmates. They actually keep leaving out the drunk part. This woman was practically falling out of her chair, and I wondered if Bravo paid her to say that. Landon is concerned that people will say she’s only after Thomas’s money. In her interview, Jennifer thinks there would be an explosion if Kathryn found out they were dating. She tells Landon that she thinks Thomas has done an about-face. He isn’t perfect, but neither are they. Landon thinks she might have a point. Jennifer says it’s cliché, but you only have regrets about what you don’t do. Landon says it’s the best advice she’s heard. Apparently, she’s not on the internet.

Thomas visits Patricia. She talks about taking seven years of French and only being able to order clothes and food. I took two years, and can only tell you how to pack a suitcase and curse you out. She asks about the birthday party, and Thomas says he thinks Saint was oblivious. Of course he was – he’s a one-year-old. She says he and Kathryn seemed amicable, and asks if he’s over Kathryn. He says no way they’re getting back together. She asks if he’s met anyone, and he tells her about his date with Landon, and how she’s giving him mixed messages. Patricia says there’s something to be said for friendship first, and you can’t find lasting romance at the bar. She tells him that when men really knew how to court women, they called on them, took them places, gave them flowers, and it built into a relationship. She suggests he and Landon go for a walk. She tells Thomas that if he doesn’t take chances in life, he’ll never get anywhere. He says faint heart never won fair lady, quoting Gilbert and Sullivan, who were probably quoting someone else.

Cameran, who’s wearing an awesome black crocheted top with bell sleeves, goes to see her therapist, Myra. She tells her about the psychic proclaiming that she’ll have three children. Myra tells her to reflect on it. Cameran wonders what if she’s putting off her greatest purpose, and thinks she’s too self-involved, which is gross to her. In her interview, she says there has to be more. She talks about her husband wanting children, and how it breaks her heart because he’d be the best dad. She thinks she’s robbing a child of the opportunity of having him as a father. Myra says she knows her answer, and it will be okay. Cameran whines that she’s going to get fat.

Chelsea and Austen go crabbing. He says when he caught crabs before, he went to a doctor to clear it up. BA-DUM-CHH! In his interview, Austen says he’s not the type to jump into a relationship, but when he meets someone he likes, he’s into it. He keeps calling the beginnings of a relationship “puppy love,” and it’s incredibly annoying, since that’s not what the term means. Chelsea says they’re going to crab the way the “Indians” did, and puts some sticks in the ground. I guess she didn’t get the memo about it being Native American now. Frankly, I’m not a stickler for labels, since they change monthly, but that’s one I appreciate, since it makes sense to differentiate our own indigenous people from those of Indian descent. Austen doesn’t think he’s Mr. Relationship, but his parents are like partners in crime, and that’s what he’s looking for. Crabbing doesn’t work out so well, and Chelsea says they’ll be stopping at Chick-Fil-A on the way home.

Landon’s business partner, Anna, calls her. Thomas puts on eye cream. Landon tells Anna they have to figure out the name situation, and lists some names that even I know they can’t use. Thomas arrives in a suit, bearing a rose like he’s a Bachelor contestant. He says he was in the neighborhood. Ugh. I hate that. An ex-boyfriend once called me saying that, and I asked why he was in my neighborhood. Landon tells Thomas that for the future, orchids are her favorite. She ends the call with Anna, and Thomas asks her to go for a walk. As they leave, Landon says that her house is for sale, and she’s just renting. Because he’s clueless, Thomas tells her to just buy it, but she doesn’t have a million dollars.

They sit on a bench by the lake. Landon has brought Charlotte, and says it’s nice to have Thomas along, since she usually does the walk alone. He tells her to just call him, since he doesn’t live far. Well, she got what she wanted – someone to walk the dog with. She says she couldn’t believe the (drunk) woman at dinner. He asks if it rang true to her, and she says she’s happy when she’s with him. He suggests they take a chance. She wonders what they do from here, and he says get some wine.

On their way to a drive through with Gizmo, Craig tells Naomie that he has a surprise for her. She tells him that she’s a worrier, and he says it’s a slippery slope to paranoia. In his interview, he says he’s working on a better relationship. They talk about Shep, and Naomie says he’s a kind person, but not to Craig. She wonders if Shep is jealous of Austen, but Craig thinks he’s just unhappy. In his interview, Craig says Shep can’t stand seeing other people happy, and covers it up. Craig pulls up to a house. Cameran is there, and they’re doing a final walk-through.

Naomie approves of the neighborhood. Good. I was so worried. Naomie says she wasn’t sure Craig was actually going to do it. She thinks the house is bigger on the inside than it looks from the outside, and I know exactly what she means. It’s so weird when a house is like that. She tells Craig that she’s excited for him. Cameran says he’ll have the keys in ten days. In his interview, Craig thinks that he’s adulting well. They talk about Saint’s party. Cameran says she’s planning something for her own birthday, and is thinking of inviting the whole circus. Naomie thinks the sh*t is going to hit the fan, because Thomas showed up at Landon’s proclaiming his love. Not quite, but okay. Cameran wonders why Landon out of everyone in the world, and if they really did get together before.

Commercial break with important information. The Real Housewives of the OC starts a new season on Monday July 10th at 9 pm.

Shep goes to Chelsea’s house. Another one who was “in the neighborhood.” He asks for a beer, saying he’s in a major shift with his lifestyle. He thinks he wants to move, and Cameran is showing him a house tomorrow. Chelsea says it will just be another frat house, but he says it’s a recalibration, and he might even become a one-woman guy. He asks if she and Austen are happy. She says they’re just hanging out, no pressure, and Shep thinks that’s very adult. He asks if they see other people. Chelsea says she’s not out with anyone else, but doesn’t like checking in. Shep says he’s an idiot for not cultivating their relationship because she’s like a unicorn. He says they smooched, and then he took off. She says she felt like just another late-night rendezvous. She doesn’t want to feel like “that girl.” Shep wonders what he was thinking.

Cameron checks out the house she’s supposed to show Shep, and says there’s potential. There are also two big dogs on the enclosed back porch. She calls Shep, and gets voicemail. She leaves a message saying that she’s waiting for him. A half-hour later, she calls again, and gets voicemail again. She’s not happy. We see a snail. She thinks Shep must be in jail or still in bed. She calls Chelsea from the car, telling her that she can’t find him, and she’s pissed, but also worried. She’s headed to his house. Chelsea tells Cameran they were hanging out for a while, but he left to meet his cousins. Cameran says his whole idea of getting the house was to get a new lifestyle, and he can’t even show up.

Cameran drives to Shep’s place. She knocks. No answer. She opens the door. Again, who does that??? She looks around. No Shep, just a messy table with empties. She goes upstairs. What if he was with someone? Geez. He’s still in bed, alone, and she tells him it’s one in the afternoon and his door was unlocked. She waited at the house for an hour. He says he feels bad about that, and she says that he should. Definitely agreed. She thinks it’s one of the lowest points she’s seen him. She asks what happened, and he says what happened is why he wants to leave. There’s a frat party every night. She tells him that he needs self-control. He says he’s usually punctual, and she says she knows that, so she was making sure he wasn’t robbed or dead.

Next time, Kelsie has a photo shoot, Cameran talks to an unhappy Shep, Chelsea tells Austen that Shep tried to kiss her, and Austen confronts Shep. Lotsa Shep.

🌟 More good news! The Shahs of Sunset (one of my favorites!) begins again on Sunday, July 16th at 8 pm. Thank you, Bravo, for that time slot. For once, it won’t interfere with something else.

🍸 I still can’t decide if I like Southern Charm Savannah or not. I don’t think I like the cast members as much as the original show. Other people might be feeling the same way, since there was a crossover this week with both Shep and Thomas making appearances (with some Austen on the side) when the cast evacuated to Charlotte because of Hurricane Matthew. Not to downplay anyone’s angst, but it must be nice to get mani/pedis while worrying about your home being okay. I slept upstairs during Hurricane Sandy and hoped I woke up. I had to laugh when one of them suggested it would take a month for the town to get back to normal. It took at least three years here, and some places still aren’t back to normal. Shep, whose brother and sister live in Charlotte, partied hardy and Thomas gave life advice to Catherine. It was odd to see them out of context. The best quote of the night was Shep saying that “Bad decisions are on the horizon.” I have no doubt.

👸 Yet something else to look forward to – Odd Mom Out premieres on Wednesday, July 12th at 10 pm. My head might explode with all this joy!

🌱 Another nugget of wisdom…

Eat, drink and remarry. – Patricia Altchul, Southern Charm

Jun3

June 2, 2017 – Ava’s Aftermath, Gordon Does It Again & a Tetrad of Quotes

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Anna thanks Lulu for keeping Emma overnight. She also wants to find out what Charlotte understands and what Lulu knows. Lulu says she gave Charlotte minimal details, telling her that her father is in the hospital. Anna says it was a bad injury, but not life-threatening. Lulu asks what happens to Valentin next.

Valentin asks Nurse Deanna, who does he talk to about getting out of the hospital?

Carly asks Kristina if she’s talked to her dad, but Kristina says Michael filled her in. She says Ava is getting what she deserves, and Carly agrees.

Ava opens her eyes. Griff tells her that she’s in the hospital and to relax. She’s been in a pretty severe accident.

Julian asks Alexis what she’s doing at the hospital. She says she heard about Ava. He says it’s not good. He starts to tear up, and Alexis hugs him.

Kiki visits Sonny, who lies, saying he’s sorry. She asks what her mother did to Morgan.

Nathan sees Amy at Kelly’s. He wants to talk. He shows her an article about Man Landers being poised for a book deal.

Carly thanks Kristina for hiring Morgan; it gave him a sense of stability and purpose. Kristina jokes that she wanted someone to boss around, and Carly calls her a good sister. Carly sees Andre, and goes to talk to him. She tells him that she’s not great, but thanks him for everything he did to help them.

Sonny explains to Kiki that Ava tried to cause a breakdown by replacing Morgan’s lithium with a placebo. She admitted it, but they’d also found placebo dust in the bottle. Kiki says she used Avery as her way into the house. She doesn’t understand why Ava would do this to Morgan, and Sonny tells her that if Morgan was in the hospital, Kiki would have been free of him.

Griff tells Ava she’s on a morphine drip, and she has to rest. He doesn’t know where they’re going with treatment until they assess the nerve damage.

Alexis says she’s there for Julian, and she also has good news. She tells him that her law license has been reinstated. Julian congratulates her, and moves in for a hug. She says one hug is plenty. Ha-ha! He says that he should fire Scotty and hire her, but he wouldn’t drag her back into his mess. Griff comes out, and tells them that Ava is awake.

Deanna tells Valentin to give himself time to recover. He says he has things he has to get back to, and asks if she can speed things along, acting all charming.

Anna tells Lulu that Valentin will stand trial, and most likely go to prison. Lulu wonders about Charlotte. Anna says she has to fight for custody, or Charlotte will end up a ward of the state. Anna gets a message that it’s time to arrest Valentin.

Amy tells Nathan not to believe everything he reads online. Kristina arrives, and Amy says that she has perfect timing. Nathan explains to Kristina that Amy has been writing advice columns and using his picture. He asked her to take it down, and now he has a book deal. He tells Amy that he can’t be a cop by day and an advice columnist by night. He asks for one reason he shouldn’t arrest her for identity theft.

Sonny brings Avery downstairs. Kiki comments on how big she is because of soap super-speed child aging. Just wait, Kiki. By next year, she’ll be in high school.

Julian talks to Ava. He tells her that she had him worried. They might fight like cats and dogs, but that’s how they express their love. He tells her that Kiki was there all night.

Kiki thanks Sonny, and he says Avery is her sister; she can see her any time. He says that Kiki is as much of a victim as Morgan was. Sonny tells her not to take Ava’s guilt on herself. Kiki says she can hear it already – Ava was doing it to protect her. She flashes back to Ava saying that whatever she did, she did for Kiki’s well-being. Kiki realizes that Ava practically told her. She says she must have been talking about switching Morgan’s pills. Sonny says that Ava is a master of excuses, but Kiki doesn’t have to buy into it; it’s on Ava. Kiki tells him to protect Avery from her mother.

Andre tells Carly what Ava did was the worst kind of sabotage. Carly says Ava doesn’t have a conscience. He says had Morgan lived, they never would have gotten an accurate read on his condition. He would have been hurting Morgan while trying to help him, a nightmare scenario for a doctor. Carly says at least they know the truth, but when Andre asks if she’s gotten closure, she says no.

Anna goes to Valentin’s room, but he’s gone. Deanna tells her that Valentin signed himself out against medical advice.

Lulu tries to get the kids moving for school. The doorbell rings. It’s Valentin.

Amy begs Nathan not to arrest her. He says he’s a detective and has to interact with people. He can’t perform those duties if people are asking him relationship questions. Amy says she took the picture down. Nathan has to go to work, and tells her that he won’t say anything, but it had better not come back to him. He leaves, and Amy says that was close, and thanks Kristina for the assist. Kristina asks why she used Nathan’s picture, and Amy says everyone wondered what Man Landers looked like. She wishes Nathan understood how important it is.

Carly says she still feels the same hopeless ache, and Andre says grief isn’t that simple to get over. She says that she thought there would be comfort in justice, but there is no justice; it won’t bring Morgan back. Sonny appears.

Ava moans. Griff says they can’t completely neutralize the pain. Julian asks if she’s going to be fine after surgery. Griff says it’s too soon to speculate, and tells him to wait outside.

Sonny thanks Andre, who was glad to help. Andre goes back to not working, and Carly says that Sonny must be there for the same reason she is. He says he feels close to Morgan there, and Carly says that she does too. Morgan had hope for the future there, but it’s gone because of Ava. Sonny says that Ava isn’t done suffering.

Lulu asks why Valentin is there, and he says to pick up Charlotte. Charlotte comes out, thrilled to see him. She tells him that she was scared. Lulu says she’ll take the kids to school. When Charlotte goes to get her lunchbox, Lulu tells Valentin that she doesn’t think it’s a good idea for him to have Charlotte with him right now. He’s about to be arrested.

Alexis opens the door to find Julian on the porch. He gives her some flowers to celebrate her law license. She says she thought it was a retainer. He’s going to need a defense attorney, since Scotty has his hands tied. She asks if Port Charles should be bracing itself for more bloodshed.

Sonny tells Carly that it’s best if Ava doesn’t see Avery at all, and talks about Kiki’s visit. Carly says as much as she hates Ava, she didn’t wish this on her. She wants Ava tried, and asks what if she just walks away again? They have no way to be sure she’ll pay for what she did. Sonny says she will.

Lulu tells Valentin that the WSB is going to have him tried by the ICC. She tells him to spare Charlotte seeing it happen, and asks him to give her secondary custody, so he can leave the country. She tells him to do what’s best for Charlotte. Charlotte comes out, and Lulu leaves to help Rocco find his shoe or something.

Anna tells Nathan that they have to check the airports. She also has an officer at Charlotte’s school. Griff asks if Valentin is gone. Anna says he checked himself out. When he asks why Valentin hadn’t been handcuffed, she says he hadn’t been under arrest yet. Griff asks why Anna isn’t more upset. She says Valentin was running for his life when he sold the Chimera, and wasn’t responsible for what happened at the Nurses Ball. It was like Helena set him up to take the fall. He asks if Anna feels sorry for Valentin, but he says it more like, you don’t feel sorry for him, do you? The same way that when I want to finish the cookies, I say, no one wants anymore cookies, do they?

Lulu comes out to find Valentin and Charlotte gone. Charlotte’s lunchbox has been left on the table.

Kristina tells Amy that Nathan is a nice guy, but he has a point. Amy says she took the picture down. She says guys like taking advice from other guys, and women like to take advice from good-looking men. Kristina suggests she take credit for her own creation.

Griff tells Anna that Valentin needs to pay for what he did to Nicholas and Claudette. Anna says those are separate issues, but he’ll be convicted on Alex’s word for this. She says they were friends, and she reacted badly when he wanted more. It made him vulnerable, and Alex took advantage of it. He’s not innocent, but not completely guilty. Lulu calls, and tells Anna that Valentin took off with Charlotte.

Julian tells Alexis that he’d like Sonny to feel the same pain. Alexis says Sonny and Carly probably felt the same way after Morgan’s death. Ava started the fire, and he can’t blame Sonny. Alexis asks if he doesn’t want revenge, and Julian says he’s not starting another cycle of violence. Alexis says that he’s said that before. He says he meant it, but she says he still went back. Julian says that he thought it was the only way to protect the people he loved. Now, there’s no one to protect. Alexis isn’t sure that’s true. He says she didn’t turn him away, and asks if there’s hope for them.

Sonny comes into Ava’s room. She asks if it’s Kiki, and he says, guess again. Really? Really? He’d be allowed in there under what circumstances? Plus, because of the possibility of infection, whoever comes in has to wear all kinds of gear. Did no one notice him putting all that on? Sometimes the suspension of belief is hard, even for me. And I would never, ever agree to be put in this hospital. I don’t care if the next closest one is in Albuquerque.

Kristina insists that Amy can do it on her own, but Amy says content is only half the battle. She wonders if she can change Nathan’s mind. Her phone rings. She’s got an unofficial offer for the book. Kristina congratulates her, but Amy says they want to meet Man Landers.

Nathan and Anna go to Lulu’s place. She tells them what happened, and says it’s all her fault. She wanted to do what was best for Charlotte, and told Valentin about the arrest. She wanted him to sign over secondary custody, but instead he ran. What if she never sees Charlotte again? Well, yeah, Lulu, it is all your fault, because you were really just thinking about what’s best for you, as usual.

Valentin tells Charlotte that they’re going someplace special, where no one will bother them again.

Julian apologizes for hurting Alexis. He says he made mistakes, but loving her wasn’t one of them. It made him a better man. With everything that’s happened, he thinks he could get it right this time. She wishes she could believe him, but she can’t. Not today. She thanks him for the flowers, and goes inside. Julian says it wasn’t a no.

Kiki sees Carly at Perks. She says she heard what happened, and she’s sorry. Carly says she’s not responsible, and Kiki says that’s what Sonny said, but Ava did it because of her. She went after Morgan, and did the worst thing she possibly could. If it wasn’t for her, he would still be alive. Carly says that none of it is her fault, and Kiki says she really loved him. Carly says she believes her, and he loved her too. Kiki says it got him killed. They hug. Carly says Ava is responsible, and repeats that none of this is Kiki’s fault. They hug some more.

Sonny looks very scary. He messes with one of the plugs that hooks Ava to a machine. He says that Kiki wants nothing to do with her. He calls her a twisted, selfish monster, and asks how she feels about everyone knowing what she did and who she is. She sealed her own fate, and deserves what she’s getting. Ava asks him to kill her. This is freaking me out a little.

On Monday, Laura tells Elizabeth there’s something she doesn’t know, Anna asks Nina for help, and Carly isn’t stopping Sonny this time.

The f Word with Gordon Ramsay

It was everything I’d hoped it would be.

This is a different Gordon than we’re used to seeing; kinder, gentler, and more fun-loving. We get a bit of it on MasterChef Junior, but this is more adult fare. This time, The f Word stands for food, fun and family. I’ve always liked Gordon. Even with all his screaming, yelling, and real f-words, my gut feeling has been that he’s one of the good guys; he really seems to care about people. On both Kitchen Nightmares and Hotel Nightmares, he’s not only had to turn around businesses, but people’s lives. I’ve seen him wear many hats, being a marriage counselor and a psychologist, helping families build something better, even if he has to smash what exists to do it.

The challenge part of the show was between The Spice Boys (blue team) and The Sexy Paesans (red team). They cooked dinner for a restaurant full of people, who filled out cards saying whether they would pay actual money for the meal. The team with the highest percentage was the winner. The ladies won, but it was close. I don’t know what the prize was, since I spaced out. Maybe just being in Gordon’s presence was enough.

The show didn’t disappoint with celebrity appearances by Jamie Fox, Snoop Dogg, and Kevin Spacey. Gordon discussed philanthropy with Jamie, who has his own Beat Shazam going on. There was also a nice interview with Snoop and his kids, where he told us that you can’t go wrong with a bowl of cereal and milk. I assume he consumes a bowl of something else first. Kevin and Gordon played some tennis and did some grilling, with Kevin choosing the ingredients – swordfish, couscous, and asparagus – and Gordon making the dish. Kevin also talked about playing Clarence Darrow on Broadway.

The home audience wasn’t left out, with Gordon encouraging Instagrams of food. He told us that if it looks good, they might show it, but if it doesn’t look good, they definitely will. Gordon put his acting skills to the test, playing a prank on his former head chef, by disguising himself and attending a class she was giving. He was surprisingly convincing, and her reaction was everything.

There was also schmoozing with the restaurant guests, including a couple who was on their first date. Dude, you will never be able to top this. Your dating life is downhill from here.

Quotes of the Week

Never miss a chance to shut up. – Dr. Phil’s dad

Those who hate you don’t win. unless you hate them, and then you destroy yourself. – Richard M. Nixon

Do I go to an animal shelter, or do the cats just appear? – Bonnie (Allison Janney) giving up on love, Mom

Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less. – Marie Curie

Weekend-Loading

 

 

Jun2

June 1, 2017 – GH Interruptus, Some Real Estate, Some Little Women & a Quote

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Finn caters to Hayden. She’s not feeling so great, and finding out that morning sickness isn’t just for the morning. Finn insists she’ll get to the radiant glow phase in no time. She tells him she doesn’t want him going out of his way, but he says, what if he wants to?

In the hospital, Nelle wakes up. She sees Michael sleeping in a chair. He asks how she slept. When she says wonderfully, he says it must be the company.

Diane calls Alexis. She asks if Alexis has time to see her. Alexis says she’ll squeeze her in between doing nothing and doing nothing. Diane gives Jordan a cease and desist order. She suggests instead of harassing Sonny, they bring Ava to justice. Julian – who just happens to be walking by – asks, for what?

Dante visits Sonny. He says the Fire Marshal’s report came in, and it backs Sonny up.

Bobbie tells Kiki that her mother’s condition is critical. It’s a near catastrophic injury, and the next few hours will be crucial. Bobbie explains various procedures, and says once Ava is stable, they can decide on a course of action. Kiki looks through the window at Ava, all bandaged up and using a breathing tube.

Hayden is feeling better – for now. Finn suggests that she leave some clothes at his place. She says he doesn’t have enough room, and he tells her that he will soon. He’s about to close on the house, and will have enough room for the both of them, and the baby.

Bobbie tells Kiki it’s a lot to process. Dillon says she hasn’t eaten or slept. Bobbie wants to know if there’s someone she can contact to take the pressure off, but Kiki says she doesn’t want to deal with her grandmother right now.

Diane is shocked that Julian has made bail. She tells Jordan he’s still a threat, and suggests that his passport be confiscated. He asks Jordan what’s happening with his sister.

Dante tells Sonny that Ava is critical, but Sonny says he’s not interested. Dante says what about Avery? He says that he hates what Ava did, and she deserves to be punished, but no one deserves to be burned alive. Sonny doesn’t care; it could have been Carly. Cold Sonny.

Michael tells Nelle that she looks better. He thinks he should get her an actual doctor, but she says it only hurts when she laughs. She tells him that he’s already gone above and beyond, and he’s off the hook now.

Diane asks if Alexis wants the good news or bad news first. Alexis says, whatever. Diane says the good news will fortify her for the bad. Alexis is officially a lawyer again.

Jordan tells Julian that he has to stay in the county, and if there are any infractions of the law, he’ll find himself incarcerated again. He asks about Ava, and Jordan says she’s in critical condition at the hospital.

Sonny gives Dante the pill bottle, and tells him who he can call about back-up information regarding the switch. He also thinks Scotty was helping Ava cover it up, and he’ll sing like a canary with a little pressure. Dante tells him to be realistic. Ava is in critical condition. No one is in a hurry to prosecute a dead woman.

Dillon tells Bobbie that Kiki isn’t alone; she has him. Bobbie tells her about patient advocates who can help her make decisions. She says with no family available, Ava’s care will be left to Kiki. She makes Dillon promise to make Kiki eat something, and goes to get a social worker. Kiki cries on Dillon’s shoulder.

Michael tells Nelle that if it’s too much, he’ll clear out. Nelle says she isn’t saying that. He wonders what hook he got let off of, and she says he’s taking care of her like he does everyone else. He says he wants to, because he cares about her. He tells her about knowing that she wouldn’t ditch Charlotte, and how he found her on the pier and it scared him. She thanks him, saying it could have been a lot worse. Michael says he waited a long time because she didn’t want to see him. He says if caring about her and liking her is a hook, he doesn’t want to be off. I expect him to break into song any moment. Bobbie sees them through the room window.

Hayden asks Finn if he’s saying they should move in together, and he says it makes sense. She says it’s a huge question, and she has to consider the ramifications. They might be getting ahead of themselves, and haven’t even discussed their future. Finn adds, and whether she thinks they’ll have one.

Alexis tells Diane that she was about to downsize and get a job at Kelly’s. Diane wonders why she didn’t keep the letter of reinstatement to herself, since she’ll have to face Alexis in a courtroom again now. Alexis thanks her, and says she won’t mess up again. Diane says time for the bad news now. Julian made bail and is out.

Bobbie goes into Nelle’s room, saying she hopes she’s not interrupting. Right. If you believe that, I have some land in Florida for you, and a couple of bridges. Michael says he was about to find a doctor, and Bobbie says she’ll do that. She asks to talk to Michael outside.

Once again, thanks to George Stephanopoulos, our programming is interrupted. Like we’re all not surrounded by news on the internet 24/7. He also gives us a weather report that we don’t need.

They never go back to the show, and I hate all politicians everywhere. Oh well, at least it’s not Friday.

🏰 On Million Dollar Listing New York, Frederik had a showing for the most fabulous townhouse ever – there was a cut-out in the middle where you could look into other parts of it. Shades of Roman Polanski’s The Tenant. It was over 6000 square feet, and the living room was 100 feet long. There was also a less equally fabulous penthouse above, but that’s only because it was in the middle of construction. Bethenny Frankel also made a brief appearance, albeit by phone, but we’ll see her next week when Frederik shows her a place. I like new guy Steve a lot. That he owns a rescue pup endears him to my heart, but his assistant is also an old high school friend. As much as I like Ryan, I am not feeling the beard. He’s still trying to unload a property that the owner’s son wants to list too high. This show is basically: look at amazing homes you will never be able to afford, even if you win Publishers Clearing House, watch Frederik do high kicks when he closes yet another multi-million-dollar deal, rinse, and repeat.

💃 I glanced at Little Women LA, and the highlight was Terra telling Briana that she has body odor. She has no sense of smell, and has a tendency to exhibit hippie-ish behavior, like not showering. Jasmine got seriously miffed about this, but it wasn’t like Terra just mentioned it out of the blue. Briana had asked her for advice regarding her modeling “career.” Apparently, when she’d previously modeled a piece from Tonya’s athleticwear line, it came back with such a pungent aroma, Tonya said never again. But I digress. She asked. Terra answered. That should have been the end of it. Instead, the outcome was Jasmine stirring the pot about Terra’s book that’s being published, Fierce at Four Foot Two. Briana uses #LittleFierceMama on Twitter, and Jasmine decided that Terra was purposely infringing on her territory with the book title. When Jasmine confronted Terra, Terra seemed sincerely blindsided, saying she didn’t have time to know what hashtag Briana is using, and why wasn’t Briana the one asking her about it? Elena hit the nail on the head when she said they have enough problems in the group without Jasmine making it worse.

🍑 As for Little Women Atlanta, I don’t know what it is about the ATL that makes women want to have knock-down, drag out fights, but I can’t watch these people. It’s like Porsha from the Wives times however many there are. This week was their reunion, with Terra from LA refereeing hosting, and security was on stand-by. How much of this is done for the camera, I don’t know, but it’s not a good look regardless.

👴 While it doesn’t make up for no GH ending, here’s one of my favorite quotes:

When I said I wanted peace and quiet, did you hear “talk more and disappoint me?” – Flo’s grandfather (Stephanie Courtney), Progressive commercial

Flo

Jun1

May 31, 2017 – Nina Has a Realization, Bethenny Breaks Down, a Little Scandal & Gordon is Everywhere

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Jordan and Curtis bask in the afterglow. He tells her that he never thought it would happen, and she says she had to make him work for it a little. She adds that she had a fear of “us.”

Nathan talks to Anna. She tells him the Chimera canister has been destroyed under her personal supervision.

Nina stands by Valentin’s hospital bed. She tells him he’s going in for surgery. He saved her life, and got shot for it. Valentin asks her to promise to remember that no matter what, he loves her. She asks what he means by “no matter what.”

Anna tells Laura that it’s a complex situation. Lulu asks if anyone was hurt, and Anna tells them that Valentin was shot and is in surgery.

Kiki leaves a voicemail for Ava, because she has no clue what’s going on yet. Dillon brings fresh coffee to the hospital for her. She thanks him, saying tonight is going to be a long one. There’s a patient in the burn unit who needs extra staff, so she has to help pick up the slack elsewhere.

At the station, Dante tells Sonny and Carly that Ava is in critical condition. Sonny says they gave their statement, and Carly says they have nothing to hide. Dante asks why they were in the warehouse. Sonny says they were confronting Ava about what she did to Morgan. Carly tells Dante that Ava drove him to his death by replacing his lithium with placebos.

Nina tells Valentin he’s going to be okay. She says he loved her enough to sing to her in front of everyone. She tells him that he needs to be okay; she and Charlotte are depending on him. He wants her to check on Charlotte, and she says when she comes back, he’s going to be awake and fine, or he’ll never hear the end of it.

Anna explains everything to Laura and Lulu about how Valentin sold the Chimera to Helena. Laura says the only thing she ever believed about Valentin was that he loathed Helena. Anna says he needed the money, and Valentin thought Helena died without using it, but she’d programmed Jake. She asks if she can leave Emma for the night; she has some things to finish. Lulu asks what she should tell Charlotte. Anna says she’ll check at the hospital and text her. Laura asks what about Valentin’s involvement? Anna says to tell Charlotte that her father was very brave; it’s too soon to say anything else.

Nina runs into Nathan and thanks him. He says he has to talk to her about Valentin. There’s a lot she doesn’t know about his involvement in the Chimera Project. She says they’ll have to talk later; she has to check on Charlotte. In all the excitement, I forgot to mention that Nina is wearing the most beautiful purple sequined ballgown with a mermaid hem. It’s like something out of an Estée Lauder or Lancôme commercial.

Jordan tells Curtis that he exceeded her expectations. He’s a bedroom god and has ruined her for all other men. She says she feels blessed and grateful. Curtis says just wait. He’s going to render her speechless.

Kiki asks if Dillon thought her mother was acting strangely, and he says yes. If it was anyone else, he would have thought she was just being a mom. Kiki says she seemed intense, but distracted.

Dante asks if Sonny and Carly have proof of Ava’s involvement in Morgan’s death. Carly says Ava admitted it. Dante asks what they found at the warehouse. Carly says it was dark, but they eventually came across Ava with a kerosene lamp. Dante asks if that’s how the fire started, and Sonny says it started when she threw the lamp at Carly. Well, that’s not exactly what she did, or she has seriously bad aim.

Curtis asks what Jordan wants to do about dinner, and she can’t believe he’s thinking about food. Not for long. They start getting busy again.

Nathan says he guesses this is the classified business Anna had with Alex at the airport. Anna explains about their falling out, and how her sister impersonated her. She says in Helena’s last act, she was almost successful in programming Jake, but in the end, it was Valentin who got the Chimera back to her.

Laura tells Lulu not to judge herself. If Valentin drops off the face of the earth, it would solve her problems, and her brother’s murderer would get what’s coming to him. If he doesn’t pull through, she has nothing to feel guilty about. Lulu says Charlotte adores him, and she doesn’t want her to go through that kind of pain. The doorbell rings. It’s Nina.

Carly repeats that Ava admitted she switched the pills to keep Morgan away from Kiki. Dante is skeptical. Carly says if her plan had worked, Morgan would be over-medicated in Freedman, but still alive. Sonny says Ava’s miserable life wouldn’t have been worth the trouble of him killing her. Dante is still doubtful of them going there just to discuss things. Carly calls Ava a coward, telling Dante that Ava threw the lamp after she called Ava out.

Kiki tells Dillon that Ava thinks she’ll have more access to Avery if Carly is divorced from Sonny. She says she can’t get drawn in again. Epiphany comes out, and tells Kiki that she has bad news.

Nina asks about Charlotte, and Lulu says she’s sleeping like an angel, inviting Nina in. Laura says they heard Valentin was shot. Nina says she knows he’s not her favorite person, but he was a hero. Lulu says she doesn’t know. Laura says everything that happened was set into motion by Valentin.

Anna tells Nathan what happened, and how she and Valentin argued over the Chimera. She says in the midst of it, they got a call from Nina. While Valentin went to outwit, outplay and outlast Nina’s abductors, she went to get the Chimera annihilated. Now, it’s no longer a threat to anyone.

Curtis tells Jordan to never stop challenging him, and Jordan says he’s worth the trouble. They’re about to kiss, and Jordan’s phone rings. She says it’s Anna. He says what has Anna done except get her in trouble, but Jordan says that Anna is the one who told her to go for it with him. She has to go to work, and tells him that it’s a classified event. Curtis says he hates letting her go, but knows it can’t wait. She promises to make it up to him.

Sonny tells Dante that Ava used the distraction of Carly falling to pull out her gun and accuse him of Morgan’s death. Carly says by the time the fire spread, they were on opposite sides of it. Sonny says there was a back door, and Dante asks why she didn’t use it. Carly says they were trying to find their own way out, and weren’t thinking about Ava’s escape route.

Epiphany tells Kiki that the burn patient is her mother.

Curtis puts the empty room service tray in the hallway. Grace walks by. She’s there for an interview, and asks what he’s doing in a hotel, and if the room service is that good. He says he didn’t dine alone. Grace asks if he wants to grab a drink.

Anna tells Jordan that the weapon has been neutralized. Jordan asks how it got there, and Anna explains about Helena programming Jake. She says that Jordan needs to know that Valentin sold it to Helena after her sister got him to steal it for her.

Laura tells Nina that Valentin stole the biotoxin years ago and sold it to Helena. Nina says he hated Helena, but Laura says he was a fugitive and needed the money for surgeries. Nina says it was decades ago. Lulu tells her that Helena literally programmed Jake to use it. Since Charlotte and Emma were next to him, they would have been the first to be exposed.

Kiki asks Epiphany how bad Ava is, but she’s still being evaluated. Kiki wants to see her, but Epiphany says she can’t. Dillon asks if they know anything, and Epiphany says she has burns over 50% of her body. Kiki asks if she’s saying Ava could die

Carly tells Dante that the warehouse is like a maze, and it’s amazing (I don’t think pun intended, but she used that word) that they found their way out. She says they called 911 immediately when they got outside. Sonny says that Ava started the fire and trapped herself.

Curtis tells Grace he’ll take a pass. He doesn’t want to mess things up. Grace says she must be something else, and she’s happy for him. He says no, she’s not, and she says to wish her luck; they might end up being neighbors.

Jordan asks about Anna’s health, and Anna says Alex arranged for her to be treated. She’s back now, and the Chimera is destroyed. Other than Valentin, no one was hurt. Nathan tells them that the surgery is over. I can’t help thinking there’s still something up with this Chimera business. The fact that it’s not a threat anymore has been repeated a million times. Usually, that means something is still a threat.

Nina tells Laura and Lulu that Anna’s version of the truth isn’t the truth, because they know how it is where Valentin is concerned. Lulu says that Anna did claim there were mitigating circumstances, but Laura says that if Valentin hadn’t sold it in the first place, this wouldn’t have happened. Nina remembers Valentin telling her that she transformed him, and he had been a bad man. She says omg, it was him. I’m saying, omg, how about Anna’s involvement and being a double-agent? I guess we’re bypassing that.

Dante tells Sonny and Carly they’re free to go. After he’s out of the room, Carly tells Sonny that maybe they shouldn’t have talked without Diane. Sonny says the evidence backs them up. They’ll figure out that Ava did it to herself. He tells Carly not to waste her compassion. I guess like most husbands, he wasn’t really listening, since she was only being concerned about the two of them.

Epiphany tells Kiki that Ava is getting the best care. Kiki asks her to tell Ava that she loves her. Kiki asks Dillon how this could have happened. Dante comes by, and Dillon asks him how this happened. Dante explains that Ava had a confrontation with Sonny and Carly. Kiki asks if it was about Avery, but Dante says it was about her involvement in Morgan’s death.

Carly says last thing she feels is compassion. Sonny talks about Morgan thinking his own mind had turned against him. He says Ava doesn’t have a clue, and he doesn’t care that she’s going through this hell. Carly says she doesn’t want to let this go, and what do they do if she lives? Sonny says hope she gets caught, tried, and put away. Carly says it won’t bring Morgan back, but Sonny tells her that they have no more questions. They finally know why he died. Carly thought it would lessen the grief, and says she needs to go. She has to figure out what to tell Josslyn. Sonny says at least Avery is too young. Carly tells him to give her a hug and take care of himself.

Kiki says Ava had nothing to do with the bomb. Dante says he’s sure she must have noticed Morgan’s behavior, and it was because he wasn’t getting his lithium. He explains about Ava replacing the pills. Kiki doesn’t want to believe it, but Dante says she admitted it to Carly and Sonny. Kiki says omg, and starts crying. Dillon comforts her. I hope she doesn’t get stupid again, and let this come between them.

Nina says that Valentin never told her about the Chimera, but there was something about his past that he regretted. Lulu says not enough to warn somebody. He left it out there like a ticking bomb for it to be used against their children. Nina asks her not to tell Charlotte. Lulu says she didn’t want it to go down like this. Nina gathers up the bottom of her fabulous dress, and says she’ll talk to them later.

Anna enters Valentin’s room. He asks about Charlotte, and Anna says she’s fine and at Lulu’s. He asks about Nina, but she doesn’t know. She says the bullet passed his vital organs, and he’s lucky. He says he doesn’t feel lucky, and asks about the Chimera. Anna tells him that she personally supervised its destruction. She says the WSB has Alex in custody. She’s going to tell them that he stole it, and he’ll be charged with treason, among other crimes, and will probably be put away for rest of his life. She takes his hand and he makes the Saddest. Face. Ever.

Tomorrow, Diane tells Alexis she’s a lawyer again, Michael wants to take care of Nelle, And Julian gets the news about Ava.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Idiot, and/or liar, Luann tells Dorinda that she trusts Tom 100%. She says Ramona has been calling Tom’s friends to get dirt on him. Ramona appears, and Dorinda tries to tell her what they were talking about, but Luann talks over her about happiness with Tom and blah-blah-blah. Ramona says if she was getting married in two weeks, she’d want to know if he hasn’t changed. Luann says she still texts with Jacques, and she’s not changing a guy of that age. Ramona says he’s still kissing other women, but Luann insists he’s with her 24/7. Ramona asks why she’s lying.

Magically, Bethenny and Carole have joined them. Bethenny says they just want to make sure it’s all good. Ramona wants Luann to admit that Tom’s philandering hasn’t stopped. Luann says he has female friends, but Ramona says he takes them out to dinner, and pushes himself on them. Bethenny says cracks become craters, and brings up how he was making out with someone before the engagement party. Luann says it was a year ago, but it’s only been six months. Ramona says they just want to make sure she doesn’t find something out later that will devastate her. She says she was the last to know, and it was terrible. She adds that it is what it is.

Bethenny says Carole was concerned that Luann was having second thoughts. We flash back to Carole’s conversation with Barbara. In her interview, Carole says she thinks Luann knows what she’s doing and what she’s getting. Luann tells the women that they’re confident in who they are and what they’re doing. She says they’re happy, and talks about their lifestyle. Bethenny quietly tells Tinsley that she thinks Luann is looking at Palm Beach and parties rather than marriage. Luann says there’s no question in her mind, and there shouldn’t be in anyone else’s. Dorinda says it’s time to put it to bed now. Somehow, all of the women have ended up in the conversation circle at this point.

Sonja tells Luann that there’s always someone who’s jealous and wants to ruin it for you. In her interview, Sonja says she’s already on thin ice with Luann and Tom, so she’s not saying anything. Carole says they’ve said all they can say. Bethenny tells a few of the women that it’s the trick guy syndrome – he wasn’t hot or popular in high school, then gets money and goes crazy; they’re like sleeper cells.

Bethenny has doubts that Luann doesn’t have doubts. She says they could say he murdered someone, and she’d be okay with it. Carole asks Tinsley if she listened to anyone, and she says no. In her interview, she says it took a great fall for her to realize. Sonja feels badly, but says they need to stay out of it. Carole wonders why all these women want him, and Bethenny says his d*ck shoots diamonds. Must be, because I can’t figure it out either.

Ramona insists to Sonja that Bethenny is engaging with her, but Sonja thinks Bethenny is ignoring her. Ramona tells Sonja that she and Bethenny have always had a shallow great relationship, and she understands what topics are off-limits now. She made a mistake, but it wasn’t out of maliciousness, and she wants to address it at some point. Sonja approves.

Dorinda has little stockings with candy canes in them at each place setting. Bethenny asks Tinsley how she’s liking this crew. Tinsley says that she and Sonja have had differences lately, but Bethenny says that will happen when you live together. Tinsley tells her that Sonja has a tendency to talk down to her.

The ladies decide to start up one of the fireplaces. Carole claims to know what she’s doing. In her interview, she says her fire was on point, but she thinks she burned some doorstoppers. Luann joins them. Bethenny congratulates her, and she sends a congrats back for the divorce. Bethenny says it’s almost over, and apologizes for the altercation she and Luann had same place last year. Dorinda comes in, and tells them the fireplace doesn’t work. Yep. The room is full of smoke. So much for Carole’s Girl Scouting abilities, although she claims no responsibility for a broken flue. Well, she might have asked if it was okay first. In her interview, Dorinda says it’s like taking care of toddlers.

Tinsley talks about wanting a relationship with someone older than thirty. Luann says you have to go with your gut. Bethenny says that’s what got her in the toilet bowl, but Luann says she does have her daughter. Bethenny says she never would have imagined what was going to happen. She’s in a negative torturous situation, and holding on by a thread. Dorinda thinks Bethenny is emotionally heightened because of what’s going on in her own life. Luann says you just move on to the next phase; there’s a reason the rearview mirror is smaller than the windshield. Bethenny says she’s still in the same phase, and feels like she’ll never be done. She says she’s in hell, and it will never end.

While she’s talking, Ramona and Sonja literally skip in holding hands. I can’t even. Dorinda says she loves John, but she’s finding it hard to jump to the next level of commitment. Bethenny goes into the other room and cries. In her interview, she says she feels hopeless sometimes, like her ex is untouchable and she’ll never get out of this. Luann finds Bethenny, and says she didn’t mean to upset her; she didn’t realize it wasn’t over. Bethenny says she didn’t know, and not her fault. She starts to cry again, and tells Luann she thinks she’s making a big mistake and that Tom is cheating on her.

Dorinda asks why Bethenny is crying, and Carole explains how things have gotten worse with suckerfish Jason Hoppy. Bethenny tells Luann that if she has any doubts, she doesn’t have to go through with it. Luann says she’s good. Bethenny says she’s not a big sharer, but she’s not okay. She and Luann hug. Bethenny says if someone’s life is to torture you, you’re not okay. Carole tells the other women about Bethenny’s creepy cling-on cross-to-bear, and says he tells Bethenny that she’s a bad mother, calling her by her own mother’s name, who was a bad mother. I’m hoping any visits with the kid are supervised. Bethenny tells Luann that she doesn’t think Tom is a good guy, but Luann says she does. Bethenny wishes someone had pulled her out at the last minute, and she didn’t mean to intrude. Luann says she feels like they’re always being watched, and it’s been nerve-wracking. Bethenny asks if Tom was caught making out with someone tomorrow, if Luann would react the same way, but Luann says it won’t happen again.

Dorinda is talking about how her late husband introduced her to John. Luann returns, and Ramona asks how Bethenny is. Carole goes upstairs to check on her. Ramona and Sonja talk about how they’re always laughing and having fun. That’s because there isn’t a full brain between them, and ignorance is bliss.

Bethenny tells Carole that Luann is sitting up Deepak Chopra’s a-hole with her zen attitude, and she’s living in a fortune cookie. She’s concerned that Ramona is going to make it about her.

Dorinda is serving canned cranberry sauce. Not even the one with berries in it; the solid kind. Really? Everyone gathers in the kitchen to watch her put the meal together. Everybody except me – and maybe Bethenny – is thrilled with the cranberry sauce. For once, Carole is first at the table. Bethenny is hoping Ramona steers clear of her. Ramona spills sauce on one of the upholstered chairs, but Dorinda says not to worry about it, and she’ll deal with it tomorrow. In her interview, Dorinda says there’s something strange about Ramona, and it seems to be intensifying.

A toast to Dorinda! The chicken is served, which compels Carole to bring up how terribly their raised, and that she can show them a video. Dorinda says that on birthdays you should give a gift, and one of them is winning a handmade chocolate Santa. Ramona wins, and says Avery will love it. Carole thinks Ramona is drunk. In her interview, Bethenny says Ramona’s daughter is twenty-two. Is she sending her a chocolate Santa to go with her beer? Ramona toasts to Luann, wishing her a happy life that’s everything she wants it to be.

It’s cake time. Bethenny talks to Luann about Ramona laying it on. Ramona is the only one who doesn’t take her dishes to the kitchen, leaving a mess at her dining table spot. In her interview, Dorinda doesn’t understand where Ramona gets her sense of entitlement. The ladies sing Happy Birthday, and Dorinda blows out the candles.

Suddenly, Ramona is talking in Bethenny’s ear. In her interview, Bethenny says she was like a bat crawling onto her shoulder. Ramona says knows what she did hit Bethenny wrong. She doesn’t want to say she’s sorry, and risk being called The Apologizer, but she’s sorry. Bethenny tells us that Ramona gets the creepiest apology of the year award, adding, is that an apology or are you happy to see me?

At the table, Bethenny talks about all the awkward situations that have happened between them. Ramona says stupid things, and Carole calls her schmaltzy. Ramona tells them how much she loves them – except Tinsley, who’s new and she doesn’t love her that much yet. She proposes a toast to friendship, and Dorinda and Luann say they’re toasted out.

Ramona thinks she and Bethenny made up, but Dorinda says no, she doesn’t think so, and I laugh. Ramona says that Bethenny is making it difficult. Ramona tells Sonja that Bethenny makes her nervous. The girls goof around in the kitchen, saying that Tinsley’s voice makes everything she says sound like a proposition.

Ramona follows Bethenny to the living room. In her interview, she wonders how to fix things if Bethenny won’t let her. Bethenny says she doesn’t want Ramona walking on eggshells. Ramona apologizes again, and says there’s nothing malicious in her. Bethenny asks what she’s done, and Ramona says she doesn’t want to go in the past, but move forward. Bethenny tells Ramona that she hasn’t been a good friend. Ramona says, are you kidding me, like a dozen times.

Next time, Ramona gives Bethenny a list of her faults, Tinsley is uncomfortable at Sonja’s place, and Jill Zarin makes an appearance.

🎉 Tonight, Andy Cohen’s Then & Now presented a look back at scandals and how they’ve impacted us. Lorena Bobbitt, Hugh Grant, Bill Clinton, Rob Lowe, Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee, more sex tapes, Jim Baker and other Evangelical scandals, Amy Fisher, Mary Kay Letourneau and how she and her one-time student squeeze are still together, Hulk Hogan, Tiger Woods, et al. One of the highlights was a lengthy interview with Mary Jo Buttafuoco, who, for the first time, displayed the Members Only jacket that she was wearing when Amy Fisher shot her, albeit torn and pretty bloody. It’s dried since then. I like Mary Jo. She’s a cool person and quite the pragmatist. She also informed us that to this day, ex-husband Joey has never admitted to having an affair with Amy. Next time, 1981 – the Royal Wedding, MTV, and shoulder pads, here we come!

🍰 Master Chef (the one with big people) started its new season tonight, and looks promising. The f Word also premiered, and even though I haven’t seen it yet, thanks to Bravo screwing me over, from the previews, it looks awesome. I’d previously watched the BBC series, and loved it. FOX is rerunning it on Friday at 9 pm. I’ll be there.