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September 9, 2016 – A Double Helping of GH, a Side of MasterChef & Quotes for Dessert

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital – Thursday

Maxie meets Lulu at The Floating Rib. Lulu asks if all of Maxie’s problems are in the rear view mirror now. Maxie says she and Nathan talked things out, but Claudette hanging on is the problem. Lulu suggests she leave it alone. Maxie tells Lulu they had to push the wedding date up again and Lulu be in her second trimester. Lulu starts to cry.

Robert meets Dante at Perks and tells him that he and Lulu will be interested in what he found.

Hayden’s bail has been denied. Valerie tells her that a cell will be ready soon. Hayden says she’s innocent, but Valerie says that’s up to a jury to decide.

Jason meets Jake in the park. He tells Jake that his mom is in the hospital and that she got hurt.

Griff tells Franco that Elizabeth is still in surgery, but there’s a serious problem. There was more hemorrhaging than expected, and she needs more blood than they have on hand.

Curtis calls Finn, asking him to hurry up with the ID so he can pose as a visiting doctor. He says he’s going to check on Hayden. She needs to know she’s not alone so she doesn’t do something stupid like cut a deal.

Franco asks Griff how it’s possible they don’t have enough blood and Griff tells him that the blackout wiped out some of their supply. Franco suggests a blood drive, but Griff says Elizabeth has a weird blood type and it might be hard to find a match. Yeah, type BTCH.

Jason tells Jake that Elizabeth is in surgery, explaining her injuries. I can’t believe it. That kid already knows what a spleen does and I just found out the other day from a soap opera. Jake asks how she got hurt, and Jason says she fell. Jake asks if it was an accident.

Valerie tells Hayden that she had a public confrontation with Elizabeth before Elizabeth fell down the stairs, and Elizabeth made a statement that Hayden pushed her. Hayden says she found Elizabeth unconscious, so how could she possibly know that, and for all she knows Elizabeth threw herself down the stairs. Valerie says she had the means, motive and opportunity, and her best option is to admit it and take a deal. I have to add an IRL comment here. It’s doubtful that they would have taken Elizabeth’s statement that Hayden pushed her as anything except speculation on Elizabeth’s part, since yeah, she didn’t see who actually pushed her.

Valerie sees Curtis at the station. She thinks he’s there to see her, but he says he’s working on a job. Valerie realizes he’s working for Hayden.

Lulu tells Maxie that she just got a little emotional, and asks if Maxie wants to go over some wedding details. Maxie says if she’s uncomfortable being a pregnant matron of honor, they can change the date. Lulu says she’s not getting pregnant because the remaining embryo was no longer viable. She cries and Maxie says she’s sorry. She says it sounds cliche, but time and love will heal her. Lulu says she believes that, and Maxie says she and Dante are here for her always. Lulu says she’s blessed to have Rocco and not every dream is meant to come true.

Robert gives Dante a folder that contains everything about the explosion, including an inventory of what was found. Dante sees something that might be what they’re looking for

Maxie asks what she can do to help. Lulu says if she starts to wallow, remind her how lucky she is. Maxie thinks Lulu needs retail therapy. They start to leave, and Dante calls needing to see Lulu. He doesn’t want to talk on the phone and asks her to meet him at Perks. She tells Maxie she has to take a raincheck.

Valerie says she thought Curtis respected her position. He says he does, but Hayden is his friend and deserves a defense just like anyone else. Valerie says all Hayden has ever done is pay him for his services. Curtis says if he turned his back, is that the kind of man Valerie would want? Valerie says Hayden has been dodging charges for years and if this doesn’t stick, another one will.

Griff tells Franco that Elizabeth’s doctors are the best and they might be able to pull her through. Franco asks about the blood, and Griff says they have to go to her family to find a match.

Curtis walks into the interrogation room. He asks Hayden how she is and she gives him a laundry list of all her problems, including being sleep deprived. She says she’s never felt more scared and alone. He asks her to walk him through what happened and tells her no detail is insignificant. She thinks he’s wasting his time and she can’t get out of this.

Jason tells Jake that Elizabeth fell down some stairs at the hospital and was hurt, but she’s in surgery and she’ll be fine. He says the other kids are with their grandmother, but he’s going to take care of Jake. Jake asks if they can visit Elizabeth. Jason says he doesn’t know if they can see her right away, but they can go to the hospital and say some prayers. Because the hospital is always where you go to pray.

Naomi stops Finn and introduces herself. She says she was there to see Elizabeth, but she’s not family and the staff isn’t very forthcoming. Finn tells her that Elizabeth is in surgery. He asks how Hayden is. Naomi fills him in and says Haydn didn’t attack Elizabeth. Finn says he knows she’s not a would-be killer and she’ll be exonerated. Naomi says she’s glad to know that there’s someone besides herself who cares.

Griff says his shift is over, but he told the staff to keep Franco apprised of the situation. Franco asks about the kids giving blood, but Griff says they’re too young. Franco asks what if there was another family member no one knows about and Griff tells him to get them in there.

Lulu joins Dante and Robert at Perks. Dante gives her the folder and she asks what she’s looking at. Robert says it’s something no one is allowed to look at, but he’s bending the rules for the daughter of his dearest friend, and it’s an inventory of everything found after the explosion. Dante shows her something in the folder.

Sitting on a bench outside, Maxie talks to herself about wanting a cake that makes a statement. Griff comes along and asks if she wants to bounce any ideas off of him. She wonders how many weddings of his are invalid because of his unpriestly ways? He says he deserved that, but none of his failings invalidated any marriages. He asks if he can sit because it’s not a stellar day, and tells her about Elizabeth.

Franco flashes back to his conversation with Naomi telling him that sometimes a clear conscience only helps the person who’s keeping the secret. The elevator opens. Jake and Jason come out. Jake tells Franco about Elizabeth, but Franco says he already knows. Jake asks if Franco wants to come to the chapel, but Franco says he’d like to talk to Jason, and gives Jake the keys to his studio. Franco tells Jason about the hospital not having enough blood supply, so he has a heads up if he needs to tell Jake.

Naomi says she’s surprised that Hayden has a friend. Finn says that’s a little harsh coming from her mother. Naomi says that Hayden was raised privileged, but has rough edges that have come to the surface lately. She says she’s glad Hayden isn’t as alone as she thought, and leaves.

Hayden tells Curtis what happened. He says just because there was an altercation and she found Elizabeth doesn’t necessarily mean she’s screwed. He says he hasn’t begun to dig yet, but he has to get back to his partner, Finn. He tells Hayden that she has friends, but she needs to trust them. He calls her “cupcake,” and says everything will be okay. I just love Curtis.

Franco stops Naomi, saying they need to have a chat about Hayden and her sister Elizabeth. Franco grabs her arm, steering her around the corner. He says Hayden has to have the same blood type as her sister.

Valerie says they’ll have a cell for Hayden soon. Hayden says she might get out sooner. Valerie says one talk with Curtis and she’s free? She tells Valerie that he’s come through for her before. She lists all of Curtis’s great qualities and says how highly he regards Valerie. Hayden says if he’s right about that, maybe Valerie should consider that he’s right about her too.

Finn gives Curtis the ID and says it should keep people from asking questions, except for the ones who know him. Curtis says he’ll keep a low profile. A nurse comes by and Finn asks about Elizabeth. The nurse says she’s still in surgery, but she has Elizabeth’s personal stuff to deliver. Curtis says she’s probably busy, so he’ll do it. The nurse asks if she knows him.

Maxie tries to leave and Griff asks her not to. She says after asking her to trust him, he was dishonest with her for months, so what would she get out of the conversation? He says an apology and that he should have trusted her and Nathan with the truth. Even worse, he gave Claudette an opening to cause more damage. He says maybe one day he can make it up to them. Maxie says she has an idea about how he can do that now.

Lulu sees a fireproof freezer listed that was still intact. Robert says it was empty, but there was a key in the lock, meaning someone might have taken out what was in it prior to the explosion. Lulu puts two and two together, saying maybe their embryo was inside. Good luck finding that a million years later. Lulu thinks Helena might have taken the embryo.

Jake asks Jason if he’s seen Franco. Jason says he had something to do and he’ll leave the keys at the nurse’s station. Jake shows him some pictures he drew for his mom. He asks what if she doesn’t get better?

Franco says that Naomi wants to help Hayden, and he wants to help Elizabeth. He says maybe they can do both without the secret coming out. He says no matter what, he’ll get Hayden to cooperate.

Curtis shows his ID as Dr. Ashford to the nurse. Finn tells her that he’s been recruited from another hospital to help out during the staff shortage. Finn takes Elizabeth’s things from the nurse and she leaves. Curtis tells Finn he would make a great PI, and wonders who would want Elizabeth dead. He says maybe there’s something in her belongings that will tell them.

Maxie tells Griff that she thinks Claudette has another agenda with Nathan and she wants to know what it is. She suggests Griff seduce it out of her. Griff is like, excuse me? She says it’s not like he hasn’t done it before, and she saw them kiss. She tells him to use it to get information.

Dante tells Lulu they’re getting ahead of themselves. She says no way Helena would allow a potential heir to be destroyed. She can’t believe they were just on Cassadine Island and could have searched. Robert says it’s all speculation. Lulu says if there was any chance of a child from Helena’s beloved Stavros, she wouldn’t have let that go. Robert says Helena is dead. Lulu tells him that there’s an entire lab compound under the house and it could have been stored there. They have to go back.

Griff tells Maxie it’s dishonest and against his vows. Maxie says it’s not like he hasn’t done it before. Griff says there has to be another way. Maxie says fine, she’ll do it herself, but don’t pretend he cares. She says the only one he’s ever protected is himself, and he’s not the pious man he pretends to be; he’s just a man.

Jake says he doesn’t want to leave his brothers. Jason says that won’t happen. He says he doesn’t know what lies ahead, but he loves Jake. They hug.

Valerie calls Curtis, who’s at the hospital going through Elizabeth’s things with Finn. Valerie asks if he’s free, but he says he’s going to be stuck for a while. She tells him if he gets off early, she’ll be at The Floating Rib. Franco walks into the station.

Finn looks through Elizabeth’s phone. Curtis tells him to check the browser history and maybe they can retrace her steps. Finn says even better would be to follow the person who pushed her.

Franco goes in to see Hayden. He tells her the doctors are worried, but she can save Elizabeth’s life.

Tomorrow, Griff talks to Sonny, Dante asks Lulu if it’s worth risking their lives, and Franco tells Hayden there’s something she needs to know.

General Hospital – Friday

Morgan wakes up late. Carly tells him to get going and he calls himself a loser. She says it’s not that big of a deal and asks what’s going on with him, since he’s been sluggish and moody. He says he’s taken all of his doses, but it must be just one of those days.

Griff meets with Sonny at TFR. He wants to know what the chances are of Julian getting convicted. He says with Anna out of town, Sonny is the only one he trusts to be truthful.

Robert tells Lulu that Cassadine Island isn’t a resort. She says if her embryo is there, they have to find it. I’m totally aware of how ridiculous that sounds if you don’t watch the show. Maybe even if you do.

Finn says it looks like Elizabeth’s phone took a picture when she put on the flashlight. He says it’s definitely a man who pushed her down the stairs.

Paul asks Jordan why Hayden isn’t in cell. He gives her some ridiculous reason as to why he cares. He gets snippy with her and tells her to do her job.

Franco tells Hayden that Elizabeth will make it out of surgery with her help. He says there’s something about the two of them she needs to know.

Morgan keeps apologizing, but Carly says she only wants to understand. He says he’s just tired. Nell comes to the door. Morgan answers and gets all excited. He tells her to come on in and give him some relief from the interrogation. He leaves for work. Nell asks Carly about the job leads she mentioned, and Carly says she has the perfect one – working for her.

Sonny tells Griff about Alexis wearing a wire and getting the confession, and how Julian tried to kill her afterward. Griff asks if Sonny thinks it’s enough to sink Julian. Well, I’d hope so.

Lulu says they’ve been to Cassadine Island twice and survived, adding that Helena is dead and Valentin is in prison. Dante thinks it might be a set up and reminds her of the will. Robert asks what he’s talking about and Lulu tells him about the empty envelope that Helena left to her.

Curtis says they don’t have much, but it clears Hayden. Finn suggests they blow up the picture. Curtis snatches the phone from him, so he doesn’t do something stupid like delete it. Curtis calls Jordan and says he’s coming there with something major.

Franco tells Hayden that the hospital is running out of blood and Elizabeth’s body will only accept her blood type. Hayden says she has a rare one and she’s never known anyone else to have it. Franco says, now you do, but she knows he’s not telling her something.

Carly wants to hire Nell as her personal assistant. Carly tells her it’s not a made-up job and the job requires no formal training or education. Nell says thanks and all, but she has to turn Carly down.

Griff says he saw the picture of Alexis and Kristina. Sonny says Alexis is ragged (ha-ha! funny word for Sonny to use) and she’s been drinking a lot. He says her confidence has been shaken because she believed in Julian. He tells Griff that she can’t admit Julian didn’t really love her, and it might affect her testimony.

Curtis and Finn bring the phone to Jordan, who doesn’t even want to know why they have it. They show her a picture of the bottom of a man’s pants legs and his shoes.

Franco insists that Hayden pushed Elizabeth and now she has a chance to save her, so it might look good for her. She says she’ll do it. Franco is like let’s go, and she says she’s still in police custody, showing him she’s cuffed. He starts to mess with her cuffs using a paper clip and Jordan walks in. She wants to know what’s going on, but I think she should understand by now that everyone just comes and goes and does what they want here, like they do at the hospital.

Griff asks if Sonny tried talking to Alexis. Sonny says she thinks he’s just gloating, telling Griff that Julian has been gunning for him since he came to town. In the beginning, he hid behind Sonny’s grandson, Danny, knowing Danny needed his bone marrow to live. Sonny says Alexis thought she was protecting the man she loved. Griff says Alexis seemed fine with everything until she got dragged into it, and wonders how he can trust her to do the right thing. Sonny asks if Griff isn’t the one always preaching forgiveness.

Nell says Carly doesn’t owe her anything .Carly says she wants to help her because of what happened, but she’s not so grateful she’d entrust her business to her if she didn’t think Nell was capable. She says her last assistant ran off to Niagara Falls with a guest and she needs to fill the position immediately. She gives Nell a job description and goes to take a call. Morgan comes downstairs and Nell asks if he knew Carly’s last assistant. Morgan says yes, and he says it’s important to be organized. Nell tells him about Carly’s job offer. He says she just got offered a job and he just got chewed out at his.

Lulu tells Robert about Daphne said she lives at the return address on the envelope. Robert says it sounds like a trap. Dante doesn’t want to risk going back. Lulu says there’s no other way to get answers. Robert says maybe there is.

Franco tells Finn about Hayden having the same blood type as Elizabeth. He wants Finn to check the records to make sure. Finn wonders how he would know this. Franco avoids the question, saying Elizabeth is in the ER and if she runs out of blood, they run out of time. Finn makes a call.

Franco goes back into the interrogation room. Curtis says Hayden won’t be a prisoner much longer. Paul walks in and wonders what’s going on. Jordan says there’s evidence that Hayden didn’t do push Elizabeth and shows him the phone. GET THAT OUT OF HIS HAND! NOW! He sees his own shoes and makes soap opera faces. Paul says he wanted to be kept posted, but didn’t want any tin foil hat theories. Curtis says he used the GO locator to find out the picture was taken on the hospital stairs. Paul says just because it looks like Elizabeth’s phone doesn’t mean it is and the photo changes nothing, because he’s desperately grasping at straws. Very thin paper ones that go flat after a few sips. He says Hayden needs to go to her cell. Franco says she’s going to give blood. Paul starts yelling that she’s not going anywhere and totally overreacting.

Sonny gives Griff a run down on what happened to Alexis and says he’s no one to judge. Griff says him neither and Sonny says Griff’s father made his share of mistakes, even though in the end he wanted out. He was going down a bad road and changed direction because he wanted to be a better man. Sonny thinks Duke would have been compassionate with Alexis.

Nell tells Morgan that bosses can suck. Morgan says if he was his own boss, he’d fire himself, but Aaron isn’t like that. He tells her he hopes she wasn’t put off by him and his mom is tough, but fair. He says the money is good, but she’ll work for every penny. Nell says she wants to be a teacher though, and doesn’t know if she can pursue it at the same time. She doesn’t want it to get in the way of her true goal. Morgan asks when she figured out what she wanted to do, and she says she just always knew. She wonders if she could use the job as a stepping stone to becoming a teacher and end up with the best of both worlds. Morgan says going to school was great, although he didn’t appreciate it at the time. It helped him to focus.

Carly comes in and Morgan says he has to go deal with something. Nell asks Carly again if the job isn’t charity. Carly says if she sucks, she’ll fire Nell’s ass. Nell says okay, she’ll do it.

Robert says there was a complete sweep of the island, including Daphne’s address, which has been abandoned for years. Dante says they never saw the house, Daphne just said she lived there. Robert says there’s no record of her anywhere.

Finn comes bursting into the interrogation room, and despite Paul’s protests, Hayden gets hustled off to the hospital. Jordan talks about getting her released. She says the photo isn’t great, but it obviously wasn’t Hayden. Paul makes a bunch of noise. Jordan says she’s not okay with sending an innocent woman to jail. Curtis says this could lead them to exactly who pushed Elizabeth down the stairs. Geez, they’d better make a print out and several thousand copies so this evidence doesn’t get “lost.”

Griff tells Sonny that he’ll try to follow his fathers example and give a the benefit of the doubt. He wonders if Julian will be convicted and Sonny tells him not to worry about the trial. Griff says it’s not justice if you take the law into your own hands. He’s good with those little pearls of wisdom. He probably took a class in it at priest school. Griff sees Robert walk in and asks for an introduction. Sonny says that Robert hates his guts, but okay, and introduces them. Robert says they saved him a trip, since he wanted to talk to both of them. I’m intrigued.

Nell thanks Carly for the advance so she can get her stuff. They thank each other and hug. Hmm…Nell’s face. Nell leaves and Carly asks Morgan, who’s working on his laptop, if he’s working from home. He says Aaron got someone to cover for him and you can’t sell a latte from home. He tells her that he’s enrolling in school full time.

Curtis says the picture is good for Hayden, but not so good for finding the criminal. Jordan says she found out that the phone is Elizabeth’s and they need to let Hayden go. Paul whines and stomps his foot, but she says they can still consider her a person of interest. If they’re wrong, they can get her back later. She says it doesn’t look good for the department if they don’t look for the real criminal. Paul finally agrees and says they need to talk about how everything is going to proceed from here on out.

Hayden asks how Franco how he knew about the match. She says Finn was saying something that Franco kept interrupting. She asks again how he knew her blood type was a match. Finn walks in.

Carly tells Morgan to back up. She says ten minutes ago he thought he couldn’t do anything, and now he wants to go to full time school? He says he’s majoring in marketing and realized he’s not there to serve coffee, but to get people to buy something. He said he got everyone to think, including Nell. He says he felt a little jealous at the passion she has that he doesn’t have, but then he discovered he did have it, and all his ideas led straight to going back to school. Carly asks if he’s sure. He gets all excited and hugs her. Definitely getting manic.

Robert joins Sonny and Griff at the table, telling Griff that he looks like Duke. He says Anna would have come back for the trial, but got convinced to stay in Berkeley a while. She wanted Griff to know she didn’t abandon him, but Griff says he didn’t think that. The three of them toast to justice for Duke.

Lulu says it doesn’t add up, and Dante says it’s not supposed to. She says there’s no trace of Daphne living at the address and the place is empty. Helena said she owed Lulu the most, and left her the most valuable thing. What would be more valuable than an heir? She wants to go back to Cassadine Island and thinks if the WSB digs deeper, they’ll find something. Maybe the embryo is at the address? That seems awfully simple, but come to think of it, why wasn’t this address investigated earlier? Like five minutes after Helena died.

Paul tells Jordan to keep him apprised. She says he seems awfully invested in a simple assault case. He says he wants justice done. Today’s theme.

Hayden starts to ask Finn about the blood type and he gets a call that the charges against Hayden have been dropped. He says there’s no time for celebration though; he has to check on something. Hayden tells Franco that she told him so. For a moment, she pretends like she’s not going to give her blood now, but then tells him that she will. However, he needs her blood and she needs something from him.

On Monday, Sam needs to check up on something, Julian tells Scotty that he’s doomed as doomed can be, and Hayden says she wants freedom in exchange for Elizabeth’s life.

MasterChef

I don’t usually recap this, although I’ve been known to dabble in MasterChef Junior. But there was something that stood out tonight.

They’re down to the final four and break into teams of two, cooking for a restaurant of food critics. David is on the losing team, which ends up having to do a pork pressure test, using pork belly, chops and tenderloin. I thought it was amazing when he owned up to his mistake in the team effort, saying he was the reason that his teammate and friend had to endure this. But then when they had to critique each others dishes, he didn’t exactly make nice and deflated my balloon. She was also the one who ended up making an exit.

They’re down to the final three, but I don’t really have a favorite. While I’ll watch anything with Gordon Ramsey in it, and love watching a cooking competition and lusting after the food, I can never seem to invest in the competitors much.

Quotes of the Week

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. — Oscar Wilde

I love my body, and I would never change anything about it. I’m not asking you to like my body. I’m just asking you to let me be me. Because I’m going to influence a girl who does look like me, and I want her to feel good about herself. — Serena Williams, Self, September 2016

Listen, I’m engaged to this man and I’m going to marry him, so back off. Just back off.  — The Countess LuAnn de Lesseps, Real Housewives of NYC Reunion Part Two

September 7, 2016 – GH’s Spleen Problem, LA’s Christy Problem & NYC’s Countess Can’t See the Problem

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Sonny says the new baby coming is like a double blessing. Carly says it’s been a perfect day. She better duck.

Elizabeth goes unconscious, probably because Franco is taking so long to make his point.

Tracy sees Dillon in the park. She says she doesn’t see any models, but he says sometimes he actually takes pictures of things that aren’t part of the job. He’s trying to capture the light at the end of summer. Tracy remembers him talking about the dynamics of light as a child and how she knew he had the makings of an artist. He says that what he does at Crimson isn’t exactly visionary. She asks him what’s wrong.

Kiki and Morgan talk outside Perks as Ava watches. A baseball cap delivery comes, but the hats say “Pecks” instead of “Perks,” and Morgan isn’t happy.

Griff comes flying into Elizabeth’s room. He calls code blue. Her spleen just ruptured. Uh-huh. It’s always that damn spleen.

Dillon tells Tracy he’s not lost or drifting into trouble. Tracy says something is bothering him and at some point over the summer, the wind got knocked out of his sails. She wonders if it has to do with the STI, but he says he took the antibiotics and he’s fine. Next she wonders if he’s suffering from a broken heart. He says he knew that Kiki had a previous relationship with Morgan and they got back together. End of story. Tracy asks if he’s hoping Kiki has changed her mind.

Kiki asks Morgan why he thinks it’s him that screwed up. She looks at the manifest and says he’s not at fault. She says the company screwed up, not him, and he should mail the hats back right now. He wants to congratulate Sam and Jason, so Kiki says she’ll take them. Morgan is annoyed that he told Aaron the hats would be there today, but Kiki says that’s not in his control. She suggests they keep a hat as a memento for when Perks takes over Starbucks, but he doesn’t find it funny, and says he’s feeling off today. Ava has been watching and she flashes back to when she switched his lithium with whatever looks like lithium, but isn’t.

Griff says they have to stop the internal bleeding and Elizabeth is taken to the ER. Franco asks what he can do, and Griff says pray. Franco balks at the idea. Griff says he doesn’t have time to explain God, faith and the universe right now, but Franco could also notify the family.

Carly asks Sam what’s up. Sam says she hadn’t expected to make the baby announcement, but she’s glad it came out. Considering everything they’ve been though, she’s happy how everything is coming together and the baby not knowing anything except true love and them all being true friends. Spinelli is thrilled and bluebirds fly around with ribbons in their mouths. Carly asks Spinelli for pictures of his baby and he says they don’t know what they’re asking, since he has a PowerPoint presentation.

Franco calls Jason asking where Jake is. Jason tells him to get lost, but Franco says Jake needs to know his mother might be dying. Jason tells everyone that Elizabeth’s spleen just burst. Carly thinks it’s a set-up, but Jason says he’s going to the hospital. He tells Sam to stay and spend time with Spinelli, since he came all this way.

Jason leaves and Sam has an official craving for ribs. She thanks Carly and Sonny, who says no thanks are needed because they’re family. Sam and Spinelli leave to get ribs. Carly says she hopes Jason isn’t going to break Franco’s neck, which wouldn’t be a good end for the day. Sonny pretends that he wants to help clean up, but Carly tells him that’s okay, since his help is no help. I identify. He wants to go to Perks and see how things are going. He says it’s the first time in a long time he’s seen Morgan this together.

Ava tells one of the employees at Perks that Morgan seems like a downer. The guy says he’s been down in the dumps all day. Ava twirls her mustache.

Dillon says Kiki is none of Tracy’s business, and she says as his mother, everything is her business. He says he’s not ten and doesn’t need coaching. She says he’s hung up on an unobtainable girl and he has a couple of choices, to go off on an adventure or fight for her. She says she speaks from experience, and he should decide what he wants and go for it. The worst choice he could make is to do nothing. She leaves and he talks to himself about not being able to have what he wants.

Kiki pops out with the box and asks what’s up. Dillon says he’s annoyed at his mother, but it’s not worth talking about. She says his head looks like it’s going to explode, and no one’s more sympathetic than she is. He says Tracy was lecturing him about her.

Jason shows up at the hosptial. Franco fills him in on what happened. He says one minute he was talking to Elizabeth and the next she was unconscious. Jason is surprised about the fall down the stairs. Franco says he tried to call him and Jason ignored it, and she didn’t just fall, she was pushed by Hayden. Griff comes out.

Spinelli and Sam go to The Floating Rib for what else? Sam wonders about Elizabeth and Spinelli suggests taking a look at the hospital records. Sam says she’ll wait for Jason and that she and Elizabeth have called a truce. She says Elizabeth and Jason are always going to be in each others lives because of Jake.

Griff confirms that Elizabeth’s spleen ruptured. Franco says you can live without one, but Griff says it’s not the ideal situation. Then he actually explains what the spleen does, and it’s important. He says they’re giving Elizabeth blood transfusions until they can figure out how to deal with it.

Kiki asks why Tracy was lecturing Dillon about her. He says she’s stuck on when she walked in on them. He tells her that she’s with someone else, he accepts it, and as long as she’s happy, he’s happy. He asks what’s in the box, and she explains about the baseball caps. Dillon mentions she doesn’t even work at Perks. Kiki says she’s not babying Morgan, if that’s what he thinks. He thinks she needs to hear something about Morgan.

Morgan gets home and wonders where everyone is. Carly says they’ll be back and he’ll have time to wish everyone well, but wonders why he’s home. He tells her Perks wasn’t busy. Carly says Sonny just went over there and will be disappointed not to see him.

Sonny sees Ava and accuses her of spying on Morgan, telling her that she’s not going to mess with his life. Ava says she hasn’t seen Morgan or Kiki and says sometimes a latte is just a latte. He says she seems pleased with herself. She says she is and Sonny asks why.

Spinelli wonders what Sam meant by Elizabeth being supportive in her own way when Sam found out she was pregnant. Sam tells him about Jason contracting malaria and how scared she was about the baby having it, adding that the baby is fine. Spinelli tells her to never hesitate to call if she and the baby need help. He says he wants to reciprocate all the help she’s given him with support and childcare tips.

Griff says Elizabeth needs more blood than they have on hand. Jason and Franco volunteer and he tells them what room they have to go to. Jason asks Franco about Hayden and Franco explains that she’d just argued with Elizabeth. He asks if anyone saw Hayden push her. Franco says no, but he saw her standing over Elizabeth. Jason says he’ll tell Jake and tells Franco not to give him any advice.

Dillon says he thought Kiki was enabling Morgan because she felt obligated or guilty, but when he saw her in the garage, he accepted that they have a real connection and a true bond. He says there’s obviously a lot of love between them and he wants all good things for her. Oh come on, Kiki, dump Morgan. She kisses Dillon on the cheek and continues on her way.

Carly tells Morgan that he seems quiet, and he tells her about the hats, saying that it’s not a big deal. She tells him that Sonny said he seems to have a handle on his personal and professional life, but he seems low. She asks if everything is okay.

Ava says Julian’s trial is starting and she has faith that justice will be served. Sonny says he didn’t realize she wanted Julian locked up, but she says she has a different outcome in mind. She mentions Alexis’s fight with Kristina and says Alexis is an unreliable witness. He asks if that’s the only reason she’s smirking and when she tells him yes, he says she’s lying.

Franco pressures Jason to tell Jake. Jason says he wants to tell him in person. Franco wants to make suggestions, but Jason isn’t having any. Jason makes arrangements for the kids, saying there’s something important he has to take care of. Franco moons over Elizabeth’s empty hospital bed and flashes back to their kiss.

Morgan tells Carly he’s fine and he’s just having an off day. She says everyone has one. She doesn’t want to be a helicopter mom, but tells him he can make an appointment if he needs to. He says he knows that and the alarm on his phone goes off to take his meds. He says he needs to realize every day isn’t going to be perfect (tell me about it) and he has to stay on schedule with his medication. He tells Carly he appreciates that she always has his back

Sonny says he agreed to a truce for Avery’s sake, but he hasn’t forgotten who Ava is. He says if she interferes with Morgan’s life, he’ll have to retaliate and don’t push him because she won’t like how he pushes back. Kiki comes back and asks if there’s a problem. Sonny says he was wondering the same thing.

Kiki asks what Ava is doing there. Sonny says he hopes she can get more truth out of Ava than he did and leaves. Ava tells Kiki that Sonny thinks she wants to cause trouble, but she just wanted a cup of cofee. She says as much as she hates to admit it, Kiki is an adult and can make her own choices. No more interfering. Kiki says Morgan is doing great. Ava says if they’re meant to be together, let nature take it’s course. We see Morgan take his pills.

Sam thanks Spinelli for coming and he says it’s his pleasure. He says he’s never seen her so content. She says as far back as she can remember happiness has made her nervous because it could always be taken away from her. She says she doesn’t feel that way this time. She has faith that good things can happen, joy can actually last, and she and Jason have a future.

Jason calls to find out how Jake is and says he’ll see them when they get there, wherever there is.

Franco asks how much longer. Griff tells him they have a serious problem.

Tomorrow, Lulu realizes all of her dreams might not come true, Valerie finds out about Curtis working to free Hayden, and Robert has news for Dante and Lulu.

Little Women: LA

Elena and Terra go to the spa. While getting a mud mask, Terra asks if Elena has heard from Briana, who has spent most of her pregnancy in the hospital. She was in so much pain, she had to leave her own party, and no one has heard from her. Elena says since the party didn’t go as joyfully as planned, she wants to plan something else. Terra suggests a murder mystery party. Elena wants all the friends invited, but Terra says Christy is no one’s friend. We flash back to some of Christy’s recent shadiness. Terra is surprised that Elena wants to give her another chance, and tells her that some of the girls think Christy might be self-medicating. Elena thinks she’s just being desperate in trying to get Briana’s friendship back. Terra agrees to invite her. It being a murder mystery party, you don’t know who the invite is from.

Briana is in the hospital. Maverick Jack is here. Even though he’s premature, his only issue is fluid on the lungs. Matt is a little freaked, but says Briana was tough as nails in handling it. He says he’s going to be scared until they take their baby home. He has to be breathing and gaining weight on his own before he’s allowed out. Matt says he’s proud of Briana.

Elena is busy. Now she’s shopping with Tonya. Everyone except Briana has RSVP’d for the party. Christy meets them at the store. It’s a vintage clothing shop and my eyes dart everywhere. Elena brings up Julie knowing where Briana was going to be and sending a process server there. Christy says she had nothing to do with it, telling them that Briana was going to get served anyway because Julie told her it was going to happen. Hmm… Tonya says if she’s going to lie, pick one and stick with it. Tonya says Christy was the only one who knew where Briana was going to be. Christy says she didn’t do it, but even if she did, who cares? since Briana deserved it. Wow. Not too obvious.

This does not go over too well with Tonya and Elena. Christy says she’s sick of everyone asking her about it. In her interview, Christy complains about Briana not inviting her to anything and Briana not being appreciative of her marital advice. She says Briana needs to pay her bills or expect to be served. Christy starts crying, saying she didn’t hire Julie to piss off Briana. In her interview, Elena says that Christy seems desperate to be liked and have friends, and she wants to help out. I’d like to help her out the door.

Jasmine visits Briana in the hospital. Since she’s been so supportive, Briana wants her to be the first to meet the baby. Briana tells her she also had her tubes tied while she was there. In her interview, Jasmine says when she and Chris make the decision not to have any more kids, he’s going to be the one who gets snipped. Poor baby Maverick has a million tubes going in and out of him. This hits home to Jasmine, who wonders what if that happens with her baby?

Kerwin and Tonya play table tennis. Tonya says his height gives him an advantage and even a friendly game of ping pong can turn into a war with them since they’re both competitive. Tonya is still upset about Angelique not being happy about her father moving in and wants to get all of them on the same page. She tells Kerwin about Angelique being upset that her opinion wasn’t sought. Kerwin says he thought he had a father and daughter bond, and thought his moving in would make everyone happy, but that’s not the case.

Tonya, Kerwin and Angelique get together for an afternoon of riding water bikes. I’ve never seen these before and they look like bicycles on thin parallel surfboards. Afterward, Tonya says she wanted them to come together as a family and wants Angelique to express herself. Angelique said she felt badly because she wasn’t involved in the decision. Kerwin says he thought she’d be happy. Tonya asks what they can do to make the situation better. Angelique says better communication and Tonya suggests it’s needed on both ends.

Terra tells Joe she got some news and he asks if the baby isn’t his. She says bigger than that – she’s been chosen for the next season of Dancing with the Stars. Joe says he’s proud of her. Lots of that going around today. Terra is concerned about being a little person dancing with an average sized guy and doesn’t want his “package” in her face. The plan is for her to start three weeks after she has the baby. She wonders if she should still do it if the doctor says no. Joe is like, of course not, but Terra wants to do it more than anything and be an example for little people.

Terra gets an ultrasound. Afterward, she talks to the doctor about doing the show. She tells him they want to start three weeks after her c-section. The doctor says sometimes there’s postpartum bleeding with a c-section. In her interview, Terra says she’s okay with pushing through and she’s going to do it anyway. The doctor says if she gets anything more than a little sore, she should stop.

Briana’s daughter, Lieana, wants to see her baby brother, so Matt brings her to the hospital. In her interview, Briana talks about how happy she is now and how everything sucked five minutes ago. Lieana says it’s feels great to be a big sister and can’t wait to take “her” baby home.

The murder mystery party commences. Joe asks if they get to really murder someone. He and Terra have agreed not to announce her Dancing with the Stars gig yet, because she doesn’t want her buzz harshed by Christy. In her interview, Christy says she thought Terra might have invited her, but nixed that idea when Terra didn’t want to hug her.

Everyone is given envelopes with the details of their character. One person is secretly the killer and it’s up to the others to figure out who it is. There are also some party professionals playing roles. The set up is that they’re all actors and actresses at a film premiere for a movie about the Black Dahlia, but the star has been murdered. There are envelopes that hold clues for each of the participants. Everyone asks questions of everyone else in trying to figure out who the killer is.

“Ruth” (Tonya) has been slipped poison and the antidote is in the clues. Tonya pretends to fade and “Greta” (Christy) finds the antidote. Joe’s envelope says that Ruth was never poisoned and the antidote was really poison. Tonya hams it up in her death scene. Jasmine turns out to be the murderer. She likes how Christy was almost framed.

Afterwards, they talk outside. Elena is glad they’re being friends like they used to be. Jasmine says she’s surprised Christy cares and brings up how she gave Julie information about Briana. Christy says that’s not the case and gets snarky. She says nothing happened behind Briana’s back. Julie just asked if Christy needed a publicist. She says others have shared a publicist, but the girls say they discussed it among themselves first. Elena brings up what Christy said when they were shopping.

Christy tries to interrupt her, but Elena tells her to let her finish. Both she and Terra talk about how Christy’s story keeps changing. Jasmine says it doesn’t matter who her PR person is, but it matters that her story changes. Jasmine says she cries about wanting to be Briana’s friend yet does things behind her back. Christy brings up how they disliked Matt five minutes ago and now everyone is okay with him. Terra says they’re not okay, but they’ve decided to move forward and none of them did things behind Briana’s back. She asks if Briana ever called Christy’s son and tried to drag him back into her life? Apparently, there’s some bad blood there. Terra wonders if Christy is popping pills. In her interview, Christy says that’s between her and her doctor and her drinking is between her and God. Does this mean God is her drinking buddy? Terra tells her to tell the truth for once, and that her lies are the reason she loses friends. Joe says she’s lucky to have Todd since he can deal with her lies. In her interview, Elena says it’s hard to watch Christy being nasty and everyone fighting. Terra says she’s not interested in Christy’s personal life the way Christy has dug into Briana’s. Christy and Todd leave. Jasmine says she’s proved she can’t be trusted.

Next time, an archery tournament (I shudder at the thought), Jasmine confronts Christy, and Christy drags in the mystery transgender (no pun intended). I have to add how much it makes me laugh when Matt calls Christy “Crusty.”

The Real Housewives of NYC – Reunion Part Three

I enter late and Bethenny is talking about her illness and how Ramona was very nurturing, since she doesn’t have a mother figure in her life. Andy asks if that’s why she recently reached out to her mom, but Bethenny says no, it was because her daughter asked about having grandparents. She says they hadn’t talked in years. Andy asks if she felt better afterward, but Bethenny isn’t sure. She says she and Brinn are going to Florida to visit her mother. Andy brings up Bethenny going to her old apartment after finally getting suckerfish Jason Hoppy out. Bethenny says she’s the type that just barrels through, but when she got there, seeing everything so empty, it all washed over her. She says she thought it would feel good, but it wasn’t like that. We see her wailing over the empty walk-in closet.

Andy asks about Bethenny getting married again. She says it hadn’t been important to get married again, but now she’s not sure. He asks about her new boyfriend seeing her lose her sh*t on the show, but she says he’s amused by it. The Countess is annoyed that he finds the name calling funny because she has a stick up her behind.

We go over Jules’s Jewish Asianness, and relive Bethenny’s reactions to Jules’s eating disorder. We flash back to when Jules baked the measuring cup into her calzone. This slides into scenes of Jules’s husband, Michael, being absent in the relationship. Jules says they’d always worked out their problems, but this year was different. Andy asks about cheating on his part and spousal abuse on hers, and she says you can’t believe everything you read. Bethenny says that mutual frineds told her Jules had a prenup and came on the show to get divorced. Dorinda tells Bethenny she should stay out of it and there’s arguing among the ladies.

Andy congratulates Jules on being the first housewife to share an eating disorder. Jules talks about being comfortable enough to share things with Bethenny first, and how that didn’t work out too well. She says she’s doing better than ever and will continue to do so. She says years ago, she wouldn’t have admitted anything and someone in denial wouldn’t do that. She adds that it goes in stages. Carole brings up the calzone thing and Jules says she was just goofing around. I’m starting to get uncomfortable because I feel like Carole and Bethenny are ganging up on her. Carole says she was seeing something that new friends sometimes do. Jules says unless Carole knew the depths she came from, she can’t know the progress that’s been made.

Andy asks about Bethenny’s mother having an eating disorder. Bethenny says some of the things Jules claims she said, she didn’t say. Jules says that’s not the case, and Bethenny says she’s allowed to have her own perspective. In an astute moment, The Countess says perhaps Bethenny is projecting because of her mother. A viewer suggests Bethenny is turning Carole into a mean girl. We flash back to the two of them acting like idiots when visiting Jules. Again we hear about how they have a right to their opinion.

A viewer brings up Jules talking about the women’s ages. Dorinda says there’s a big difference between Jules’s age and theirs. Jules says she was just joking and another viewer suggests Bethenny can dish it out and not take it. Bethenny compares joking about age and weight, but Jules says her weight is connected with her eating disorder (i.e. mental illness, so not a cool thing to joke about). Dorinda says Jules came to her saying how hurt she was and she told her to stand up for herself.

Bethenny tells Jules she didn’t represent being Jewish well. Whatever that means. It’s not like she was dancing naked on a bar with a lampshade on her head. She asks if Bethenny can’t lighten up. Bethenny says she’ll say whatever she wants. She’s not looking good here at all.

Dorinda’s pot stirring is up next. We flash back to her working that spoon and talking about everyone behind their backs. To their credit, everyone laughs about it. Dorinda says when she saw the show, she thought, don’t tell Dorinda anything, and her brother called her Gladys Kravitz. She says she does try to come from a good place, but sometimes she gets it wrong. Bethenny says she jacked Jules up, but Dorinda says she thought Bethenny and Carole were being mean to her. Carole acts like it’s okay because it wasn’t behind her back. Dorinda brings up how Carole talked about Dorinda’s house being ghostly because she has her late husband’s stuff there. We see a flashback and they are pretty mean. Dorinda says that hurt her feelings and tells Bethenny to stop explaining it away. She says she wouldn’t have brought up Carole’s late husband.

The girls say it hasn’t gone unnoticed that Carole and Bethenny only pal around with each other. Carole says some of them are closer than others, but it’s true. A viewer asks why none of the ladies held Dorinda’s feet to the fire about her pot stirring. Sonja gives a mini tirade and Dorinda says she’s going to stay out of it from now on, but she will stick up for Jules. She thinks the intent wasn’t positive toward her.

On to The Countess’s engagement. We flash back to The Countess being uncool in her interaction with Sonja and Ramona, who had both dated her fiance. While we’re watching, The Countess calls Sonja delusional. Seriously, for what reason would Sonja have to lie about this? We also get to watch that snake, Tom, being uncomfortable when they’re all in the same room together. The Countess also did not have a good look this season. The Countess claims she knew the first week that Tom would be her next husband. They talk about her losing her title when she gets married and discuss the debate over the number of dates Ramona went on with Tom. Ramona gives us a detailed run down of all of their dates. Andy has to explain to The Countess why this might be an issue that Tom is contradicting Ramona. Bethenny says he lied. Tom said they’d only been out in a group setting and she saw them out together.

Wait for it…

Ramona brings out her evidence. A drawing Tom did of a heart on her hand with their initials. Ramona says he was trying to woo her. Ha-ha! Who uses that word? Bethenny asks if The Countess knows what a lie is and The Countess says he wasn’t lying. Andy interjects that he said he never went out with her when they were on the boat. The Countess tells everyone to back off. A viewer asks about Sonja’s relationship with Tom. Sonja says she never expected more and she thought Tom was a perennial bachelor. Sonja says she cares about The Countess more than Tom, but she was upset about the dear john text. The Countess claims to know he only slept with Sonja once. Andy asks how she can believe that when he lied about Ramona. The Countess says it’s not a big deal and she trusts and loves him. Andy asks how long she’s been friends with Sonja and she says eight years Bethenny asks how she can think Sonja is lying. The Countess says Sonja doesn’t remember how she gets home, how can she remember how many times she slept with Tom? Nasty. Ramona says she sees a lot of red flags and is concerned about The Countess. The Countess says it, and I cringe – they’re soulmates. She says it’s a big deal because Tom hasn’t been married before. That should be a HUGE red flag right there. I f a man his age hasn’t been married before, there’s a reason. Sonja gives The Countess a hug and The Countess says she hopes Sonja finds someone to marry. Why is this a necessity?

Andy asks why The Countess didn’t say anything to Ramona and Sonja when she started dating Tom. She says she wanted to be sure about Tom first. Carole calls girl code breach. More evidence! Ramona pulls out an article that she thinks Tom planted. The Countess says it was before they met. Ramona tells her if she’s going to lie, at least be consistent.

Andy brings up the awkwardness on the boat, but The Countess refuses to believe there was any. Sonja says she tried to break the ice with Tom by saying how cute he and The Countess were together. She says when she subsequently saw Tom, he basically told her that if she didn’t agree they were only together once, she wouldn’t be invited to the wedding. Dorinda wonders why The Countess wants to marry Tom at this point. Andy asks if everyone thinks she’ll go through with it.

Next time – Reunion Part Three – Bethenny calls Dorinda “the village idiot,” Ramona knows something else about Tom, and Sonja walks out.

Just sayin’ – I love Michael Rapaport. On Watch What Happens Live, he said Jacqueline (Real Housewives of New Jersey) is vicious and shouldn’t have been attacking Teresa, who was fresh out of the clink.

September 6, 2016 – GH’s Wedding Concludes, HAHN Finales & the Original Below Deck Returns

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Sam and Jason’s wedding continues. Out of all the lovely outfits, I’m drawn to Danny’s blue ombre shirt.

Ava tracks down Paul. She thinks he’s avoiding her. She wants to discuss the strategy for Julian’s trial now, or she’s going to the cops.

Curtis asks Finn how much trouble Hayden is in. Finn says for one thing, she’s been arrested for murder. He says it’s complicated and Curtis says it always is. Finn says Hayden is innocent and they have to get her out.

Naomi tells Franco that Elizabeth is in the hospital and now is not a good time to tell her she shares a father with Hayden.

Monica tells Elizabeth that Sam and Jason are getting married. She says it’s just a small wedding, like this makes it better news. Monica gets a call and has to step outside. Elizabeth asks Sabrrrina if she was invited. Sabrrrina says yes, but she wanted to stay with Elizabeth and didn’t say anything about it for obvious reasons.

Spinelli begins to officiate. No surprise, he uses a lot of big words. He asks Jason and Sam if they’re ready to be married. He tells the guests that the size of the wedding shows them how important they are to the couple. He says they helped Jason and Sam become who they are today, and they’re here to join their lives for the rest of their lives. He talks about them being separated and how nothing could keep them apart. Dammit! He blew it by using that word I hate – soulmates – but I let it pass. He says the couple has prepared their own vows and Sam is like, really? we did?

Elizabeth tells Sabrrrina she’ll probably always love Jason, but she’s glad he’s moving on with his life and she is too. Sabrrrina wants to know who she’s dating and Elizabeth tells her it’s Franco.

Franco talks to himself or God or something. He says the one time he tried to do the right thing, it was the wrong thing, and he’ll just wait until he hears from the universe.

Naomi visits Hayden, who is still in the interrogation room, and tells her everything is going to be fine.

Curtis wonders why Hayden got arrested, and Finn says Franco found her standing over Elizabeth when she got pushed down the stairs. Curtis says sometimes the cops build a case too soon, and then need to prove themselves right. He says he wants to prove Hayden innocent. Valerie suddenly appears at the bar and asks if that’s so. I hate to be picky – even though I always am and think I deserve it after a 50 year investment in this show – but Valerie is pretty far away to have heard that. It’s not like Curtis was shouting.

Commercial break. Great. I’m confused as to what day of the week it is, because, holiday on a Monday. I’m also trying to shake my Z-Nation longing after watching it for nearly 24 hours.

Valerie is picking up lunch, on her break from “railroading innocent people.” Finn suddenly discovers the jukebox and gets away form the conversation. Curtis apologizes but says he knows Hayden and she’s not a killer. Valerie disagrees.

Naomi tells Hayden their lawyers are on it. Hayden says she hopes they believe she’s innocent. Hope they do better than they did for her father too.

Elizabeth tells Sabrrrina about getting to know Franco and how he’s not what people think. She says she tried to fight it and couldn’t. Sabrrrina says she understand more than Elizabeth might think, but other people might not see him the same way. Elizabeth says if they want to be stupid, so be it, but Sabrrrina says she won’t. She hopes things turn out better than they did for her and Carrrlos.

Paul tells Ava he can’t just drop the charges. Ava asks him what the plan is then.

Spinelli says he just assumed Jason and Sam wrote their own vows and looks for vows on his phone. Sam says never mind, there is something she’d like to say. She talks about how Jason is a partner, but doesn’t take away from her independence; he makes her more, not less. He taught her that the greatest risk of all was letting another person into her heart, and he made her want to take that risk. She promises to love him unconditionally, cherish all their moments together, and honor him and their family until death do them part and beyond. Buzz Lightyear pops into my head. Jason says he promised himself if he ever found Sam again, he’d never let her go. He lists all the things he loves about her and says he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. He says he’s not one for tradition, but recites the traditional vows. They exchange rings and Spinelli pronounces them husband and wife. They kiss. Very nice!

There’s dancing, and Alexis hits the champagne some more. Jake and Danny poke at the cake, so Sam and Jason decide to cut into it early. It’s really pretty. White with a small bouquet of flowers on top, and a lacy contrasting border at the bottom of each tier. It’s traditional white cake and Danny says he prefers chocolate. I understand and actually had a chocolate cake with chocolate icing at my reception. When I told everyone what it was going to be, my maid of honor said, “You can’t do that!” and I said, “Watch me!” Carly takes the kids into the kitchen to find chocolate. Sam feeds Jason a piece of cake and he puts icing on her nose. They goof around and kiss.

Sabrrrina says one of the things that makes Elizabeth a good nurse and friend is her perception, and if Elizabeth says Franco is recovered, she believes it. Sabrrrina takes a look at Elizabeth’s vitals and thinks they’re odd. She leaves to get someone else to check.

Paul tells Ava that every step is a chance for him to undermine the process. He says Julian will get off unless she opens her mouth and screws things up. She says she’ll be watching him. Sabrrrina overhears.

Alexis talks to her daughters, telling Sam that she’s happy for her; she has a man who loves her and that she can trust. Molly asks if she’s okay and Alexis says she’s allowed to be emotional as the mother of the bride. It’s obvious she’s starting to get drunk.

Jason thanks Spinelli for officiating. He says it’s his pleasure, but he was surprised because Jason isn’t one for a party. Jason says it’s all about family and their kids can also say they were there. Spinelli asks if they’re going to try for another child and Jason says maybe someday. Yeah, like 8.75 months from now.

Curtis tells Valerie he knows Hayden better than she does and she’s not a murderer. Valerie says there’s evidence. Curtis says not enough to make a case, but she Valerie says they’re working on it. He tells her to make sure she works to solve the case, not prove herself right. Valerie says she was trained to be impartial and examine evidence, and asks if Curtis trusts her.

Naomi tells Hayden that they have to make sure justice is served, with a nudge from their legal team. Hayden is worried about Elizabeth squealing about the diamonds and going to prison anyway.

Paul asks if he can help Sabrrrina. She says she couldn’t help noticing him talking to Ava and asks if he should be consorting with her. He claims he was telling her not to intervene on her brother’s behalf, now that she’s on the straight and narrow. Paul is going to end up having to kill everyone in the hospital pretty soon.

Sabrrrina runs into Monica. She tells her that Elizabeth’s vitals seem kind of off and Monica says she’ll have someone look in on her. She asks Sabrrrina about rejoining the staff.

Alexis tells Sam to throw the bouquet to her and she’ll hold it in reserve until after the divorce. Molly suggests she get some water and leads her away. Kristina asks Sam if she’d like champagne, but Sam says no. Kristina says all the more for her.

Carly takes pictures. She and Sonny go off to get cake. Jason and Michael talk. Jason tells Michael what a fine man he’s grown to be and that he’s proud of him. Michael says he was lucky to grow up with good people around him, including Jason and Sam. He’s glad they found their way back to one another.

Carly makes a toast. She tells Jason he deserves happiness more than anyone she knows. She tells Sam it took her a while ti admit it, but she’s a perfect match for Jason and welcomes her to the family. Sonny wishes them joy and happiness, and Spinelli uses some more big words. He tells Sam it’s bad luck not to drink after a toast. Carly says maybe there’s a reason and does she want to share with the class? Sam says she and Jason are having another baby.

Monica tells Sabrrrina they’re short staffed. She can’t promise anything but she’ll present the case to the board. Sabrrrina says she’d like nothing better

Curtis says he has mad respect for Valerie. She tells him to stay out of it then, and he asks if that’s a warning. She says she fights hard enough to be taken seriously and doesn’t want to fight him too. He says she doesn’t have to worry. She gets a call and has to go to the hospital. He rejoins Finn at the pool table. Finn asks if Curtis is backing out, but Curtis says he’s all in.

Franco visits Elizabeth. He tells her that he went to the station and confronted Hayden/ Elizabeth says she hopes he didn’t create a scene. He says he didn’t see her, but got clarity. He says he has something to tell her, but she might not like it. I’m guessing the universe spoke to him.

Spinelli makes a toast to the baby, hoping that he or she knows nothing but bliss, like he’s one of the Fairy Godmothers in Sleeping Beauty.

Finn wonders how Valerie will take it when she finds out Curtis is helping Hayden. Curtis says he knows Hayden is innocent.

Hayden thanks her mother for having her back. Naomi says it’s long overdue. Hayden says her support and honesty means everything. I’m sure she’s in for a disappointment.

Franco tells Elizabeth it’s not that he’s opposed to the truth, but if a lie gets him something, historically, he’s on board. Elizabeth says he’s stalling and he says she’s right. Elizabeth says whatever it is, she can handle it.

Valerie tells Monica that the syringe had no prints, which shows the killer is no amateur.

Paul revisits the stairwell and gets a text from Ava telling him not to go back on their deal. He flashes back to pushing Elizabeth down the stairs and looks ominously at the stairwell door.

Franco tells Elizabeth that it’s complicated, and realizes he’s stalling again. As he’s about to tell her what I’m assuming is that Hayden is her sister, Elizabeth goes unconscious.

Tomorrow, Morgan screws up again, Tracy tells Dillon to go for it, and Carly says it’s the best day ever, which is a sure sign that something horrible is about to happen.

The Haves and the Have Nots

The doorbell (they have one! I started to think no one did on this show) at the Cryers rings and Hannah answers it. It’s Lloyd. She lets Kathryn know and Kathryn says she just spoke to him. Lloyd tells her they have an issue; they can’t get Wyatt’s money back. DA Jennifer has gotten a judge to rule against them. Kathryn wonders if Jennifer is trying to kill Wyatt. She says if the courts won’t protect her son, she’ll have to. Lloyd apologizes for ruining her day. When he leaves, Kathryn says he’s going to ruin someone’s day, but not hers.

Hannah has to leave. Kathryn gives her the keys to Amanda’s car. Hannah says she’ll bring it back, but Kathryn says to keep it and hands her the title. Her name is on it and the gift tax is paid already. Kathryn was planning on giving it to her before she quit. Hannah says she appreciates it. Kathryn asks Hannah to come visit her. Hannah thinks that sounds weird, but says she’ll see Kathryn later.

Jeffrey gets a call from Justin while he’s visiting Wyatt. Justin says Jeffrey needs to talk to him before it’s too late, and asks where he can search. Jeffrey tells him the backyard by the garden. Jeffrey tells Justin that he needs to find the keys.

The cops are crawling all around Candace’s place. A crowd has formed, including Quita, who Pearl tells to quit leaning on the fence. A bunch of the cops bust into the townhouse.

Jeffrey gets a call and thinks it’s Candace. It’s Melissa, who wants to know where he is. He says he’s not there and Melissa hands the phone to Veronica. He tells Veronica he’s picking up a suit for tonight. She asks Melissa for privacy and tells Jeffrey to get his ass home now. She says they have a dinner party and Jeffrey needs to ask Melissa’s father for her hand in marriage. He says he’s not coming and says she has no more cards to play. She says she’ll call the DA and he says she already did. She doesn’t know what he’s talking about, so he tells her they’re searching Candace’s place. She’s surprised, and tells him he’s her only hope of getting out of this, but he tells her to go to hell.

Benny won’t talk to Candace. She tells him she’ll get the money back. Jeffrey tries to call her, but she says she can’t talk.

David picks up Erika, who finally tells him her name. He says he’s David, but she already knows that. He asks where she’d like to go. She says there’s a dive of diner around the corner that cooks Southern food like his mama. She tells him they’re walking and to lose the tie. He goes around to open her door and she says gotcha! to herself.

Jeffrey talks to the still unconscious Wyatt about Veronica making him get engaged. He says he might be away when Wyatt gets out, but he’s always loved him and always will. He says he’s sorry about not having Wyatt’s back and talks about how Veronica set him up in jail. Kathryn is at the door and wants to know what he just said. Jeffrey explains that Veronica arranged for a violent inmate to share Wyatt’s cell and Wyatt was raped. Kathryn sprints back out the door, no doubt headed for Veronica.

David is impressed with the diner food. He almost talks about his wife, but Erika stops him and says he must have really loved her. David says he still does, but it’s over. It’s too toxic and there’s no going back. He asks how old Erica is, and even though she says this is mistake number 5000-something, tells him she’s 28. He says she’s mature, but she says that’s because he hasn’t seen the kid in her. She puts a song on the jukebox and he says the blues isn’t for kids. She asks him to dance with her and he says it’s the middle of the day. I guess he lives in Colonial America. She says he has too many rules, so he gets up to dance.

She asks him if he kisses on the first date. David says he hasn’t had a first date in a long time. Erica says she guesses making love is out of the question and suggests they leave. Alrighty then.

Kathryn hightails it to the jail to see Jim, who is still in a holding cell, which seems kind of strange after all this time. He asks if it’s his lucky day. Kathryn says it depends on how he answers her question, and asks if Wyatt was raped in prison. He tries to be evasive and Kathryn says he’s going to tell her everything that happened. He says there was a mix-up and the wrong guy got in the cell. She asks why he’s protecting Veronica, and Jim asks how she knows all this. He says to let him handle the clean-up on this one, because she has a tendency to leave a mess while he tidier. Kathryn says Jim let Wyatt be abused as a kid when he was out with his whores and then let him be abused as a man. She says she hopes he rots in there and storms out with him yelling don’t do anything stupid. Fat chance of that.

In the hallway, Kathryn makes a call to Veronica, acting all friendly. Veronica asks how Wyatt is, and Kathryn says better, but her face says revenge. Kathryn wants Veronica to make an appointment for her with the DA. She wants Jennifer at her house now. Veronica says she has a dinner party and can she do it tomorrow. Kathryn wonders why she wasn’t invited and Veronica says it’s small because Jeffrey is getting engaged and she thought Kathryn was busy with Wyatt. Kathryn insists on meeting with both Veronica and the DA at her house immediately, and tells her it won’t take long. They arrange to meet in an hour.

Veronica stops by the stoop and grabs Quita, telling her that she means what she says. She says if her plan is ruined by anything Quita’s dumb country ass did, she’d better run. Veronica gets back in her car and peels out. Quita berates the guys for not having her back.

Benny asks Mitch if he put drugs in War’s car. Mitch laughs an says what? and Benny says that’s what Candace told him and she lies all the time. Mitch says she’s not lying. Mitch says he saw War taking advantage of Candace right out front, so he set War up. Benny says he’ll kill War, but Mitch says he’ll take care of it. Benny asks who the hell he is. Mitch says it’s not who he is, but where he came from – he’s a Malone. Benny doesn’t understand and Mitch shows him a picture on his phone. Benny realizes that mob boss Michael Malone is Mitch’s father. Mitch says he doesn’t want to be in that life. He tells Benny that War was going to kill him. Benny tells him about Candace mortgaging the tow yard and his house unless he comes up with $2 million. Mitch says he can get it, but it would have to be paid back, and Benny says no way. Mitch says he’s seen the way his family doesn’t play and that’s why he wants nothing to do with them.

Benny breaks out some champagne and Mitch gets paper cups. Benny says at least they were in business for a minute and pops the cork. They toast to the future.

Oscar sneaks around David’s empty campaign office. Then he gets a clonk in the head with a metal pole. It’s Candace, who beats the crap out of him while asking where her money is.

Veronica calls Jennifer, telling her that Kathryn wants to meet with her regarding Wyatt’s inheritance. She wonders if maybe Jennifer could give Kathryn partial access to the estate. Jennifer says maybe, and Veronica sets up the meeting. Jennifer says Kathryn had better not threaten her again.

Benny goes home and flops into a chair. Hannah and Quincy Jr. come downstairs. Quincy asks if he can stay there as long as he wants to and Benny says yes. Benny asks Hannah whose car is out there, and Hannah tells him Kathryn gave it to him. He’s obviously dejected and Hannah tells Quincy Jr to go upstairs and finish his book. Benny tells Hannah about Candace mortgaging the house and tow yard, and forging his signature. He says if the bank doesn’t get the money by tomorrow, they’re out.

Hannah says okay. Benny says, so that’s it? Hannah says she cooked a good meal, adding one day he’ll listen to his momma, but until then she can’t say anything and they’ll just enjoy tonight. We hear an old spiritual playing over the scene as Benny cries. Poor Benny. This really sux for him.

Meanwhile, At the Cryer household, Kathryn thanks Veronica and Jennifer for coming. Jennifer says let’s get going. Kathryn tells Jennifer that if Wyatt has access to his inheritance it will kill him. She tells Jennifer to go back to the judge. Veronica asks if she can at least reduce it. Jennifer says she can talk to Wyatt when he wakes up. Kathryn says she’s willing to take a chance on Wyatt’s life because she and Jim had an affair. Jennifer says they never slept together and that’s not just a lie, it’s a stretch. Veronica asks if it’s David she’s after, and calls her a vulgar piece of trash. Jennifer says aren’t they getting divorced and Kathryn claps her hands, saying she’s getting off track. Jennifer says she’ll talk to Wyatt. Kathryn says he’ll never do it and Jennifer says that’s all they have to say then.

Kathryn says that Veronica doesn’t fully know why she’s there, and she let a rapist in with her son. Veronica acts ignorant, and Kathryn says she’s here for two reasons, reminding me of the scene in Kill Bill Vol. 1 where The Bride explains to Sophie why she’s allowed to live. Kathryn tells Veronica that one, she’s the greatest attorney in the country. No one is better and she gets the worst of the worst off. Kathryn says Jim didn’t trust her, but she does because Veronica fears nothing. She tells Veronica that today she’s going to teach her who to fear and how, and she promises Veronica will fear her forever. Kathryn says the other reason is for her to witness the fury that runs cold in her veins. Unlike Veronica and Jim, she does her own dirty work, and doesn’t take the easy way out.

Kathryn asks Jennifer one last time to save her son. Jennifer says no. Kathryn pulls a gun out from under a pillow and shoots Jennifer several times. The force knocks Jennifer and the chair backward.

Nice.

Kathryn points the gun at a terrified Veronica and says her job is to get Kathryn off. Kathryn walks past Jennifer’s body, adjusts a vase of flowers, and goes upstairs, leaving Veronica totally freaked. The credits roll in silence.

This was the finale, which makes me bummed, but If Loving You is Wrong will be back, so that’s the upside. I can’t wait to find out what’s up with Randall being trapped in that box.

Below Deck

Captain Lee is ready for a whole new set of challenges. I’ll bet he gets them. Ben is back and ready to roll, as are Kate and Kelley. Trevor is the senior deckhand; deckhand Nico, also called Freako (we’re off to a great start); Lauren, another deckhand; Emily, the second stew, who says she’s not normal; and Sierra, stew #3. Looking ahead, I see lots of drunken revelry.

It’s going to be the British Virgin Islands this time. Kate gets to the yacht first. The Valor has gotten a total interior makeover and looks gorgeous and much better than the garish decor of Mediterranean‘s Ionian Princess. Kate is concerned about breaking in two new stews, but says anything is better than Rocky from last season. Never say something like that, Kate. Kelly is next and Captain Lee tells him not to screw the pooch. We see flash backs from the last time he was a cast member, which wasn’t a good look for him. The captain says if his crew is screwing up, Kelley is the one he’ll be looking for.

Kate is friends with Kelley’s sister, Amy, and is willing to give him a second chance. The rest of the staff trickles in. Everyone introduces themselves. I’m smelling pita all over Trevor already. Ben! He’s glad to work another season with Kate after doing the Mediterranean gig. He and Kate are friends, sometimes more than that, which can complicate things. Kate is in sexual limbo, and at present has a girlfriend. More complication!

Kelley tells the crew no fraternizing with the enemy guests. OMG – the stew’s shirts are adorable! White short sleeve v-necks with a yacht on the back and sparkly anchors on the sleeves. Sierra hasn’t arrived yet, which concerns Kate.

Trevor introduces his egotistical self. Emily is from London, and she and Ben chat about life in the UK. Captain Lee calls everyone to the lounge. The captain tells Kate that her remaining stew missed the flight, so they’ll be short handed for a day. He says he always walks around with cash and plane tickets in case he needs to kick anyone home. Kate is happy with Emily. For now.

The deckhands talk about their love lives or lack thereof. Captain Lee goes over the guests and their preferences. The primary, Allison, is bringing some Instagram friends she’s never met. Ben says none of the guests like the same foods, so it’s going to be a bit of a nightmare. Isn’t that what we call “a challenge” now? Kate fills Emily in on what needs to be done before the guests get there. Kate tells Emily about her girlfriend. She says she was never in the closet, she just walked in, got a new outfit, and came back out. Ha-ha! Everyone bunks for the night. Trevor choosing his like he’s Ramona on The Real Housewives of NYC.

Kate is impressed that Emily isn’t freaking out over there not being a third stew. Ben says he’s missing four pounds of spinach and can’t deal with provisions coming just before the guests’ arrival.

And here they are. Kate says the guests go from complete strangers to being the center of your universe in about three seconds. She shows them around the boat. It’s unbelievably beautiful and the guests are appropriately dazzled. Trevor is sure there are bodies in all the suitcases because they’re so heavy. This is the part where I desperately want to be on this boat. Not with these people though. Right away, all the guests are on their phones.

They shove off and Trevor sort of reminds me of  Martin Short‘s Ed Grimly. Ben is doing family style platters. He says if you screw up the first meal, it’s usually hard to recover. It looks amazing and the guests concur. The Valor drops anchor.

Sierra calls Captain Lee and he asks what happened. She says she missed her flight. The captain offers to send someone to pick her up. Kate says she won’t hold it against Sierra, but she’ll be working double time to make up for it.

Kate suggests a place called Willy T’s to the guests – it’s a floating shipwreck where you can go topless. Is there a bar at least? They take a small boat over and fling their tops away. Kelley is already acting stupid over one of the guests. Sierra and Ben discuss Kate’s new girlfriend. Ben doesn’t think there’s a switch you can flip, but says whatever makes her happy. In his interview, he muses over the fact that Kate has a girlfriend and he’s still single.

Sierra finally gets to The Valor. In her interview, she says she doesn’t know what happened that she missed her plane and seems like a real ditz. She ought to get along great with Kate. Not really. Trevor has the mistaken impression that they’re going to be “besties.” Kate quickly shows her around.

The guests return. Captain Lee asks Kelley how the crew is doing. He says fine so far and the captain tells him not to make any knee-jerk decisions. Ben wants every dish to have a social media title and enlists Trevor’s help with the beef. He suggests InstaHam. Because ham is beef. Finally he comes up with Social Meatia. Not awful, but not very specific.
Kate gives the guests thumbs up signs like Facebook has and tells them to make comments on what they like. She says it’s too bad the guests won’t look up from their phones long enough to see the #hardwork they’ve done to plan the evening.

The captain joins the guests for dinner. Everything the crew says is now preceded by “hashtag.” Dinner is served. Ha-ha! – hashtag browns and chicken tinders! Kate is pleased that Kelley is ignoring the flirtation from the table. Trevor thinks he made the dinner happen. Oh brother. Captain Lee says #getmeouttahere and turns in. Kate and Ben soak their feet in the galley sink after the guests go to bed. Lauren and Kelley discuss Trevor.

The guests are loving breakfast. Nico tells Kelley he thinks they’re a good team, but Trevor needs to cool his jets. Kelley has to explain to Trevor that he’s not supposed to take his shirt off in front of the guests. Only Kelley is allowed to do that. Kelley tells Captain Lee that Trevor is a little brash and not treating the deckhands well. The captain tells him to sit Trevor down and tell him to ease up on the gas and that he’s not indispensable.

This season – Lots of water, lots of tips, lots of drinking, Kate’s girlfriend visits, Emily and Ben get together, a guest poodle is accommodated, a psychic tells Captain Lee that his mother is talking from the other side even though she’s not dead, Captain Lee has a problems with the deckhands, and Trevor and Emily get lectures.

** The Real Housewives of NYC’s Reunion Part Two airs on Wednesday, September 7 at 9 pm. Don’t miss Ramona whipping out some evidence!

A new nighttime drama on OWN, Queen Sugar, looks promising as well. It airs after The Haves and the Have Nots on Tuesdays.

September 5, 2016 – A Lot of Housewives & a Little Z-Nation

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

My excitement can barely be contained – less than two weeks from now, on September 16, Z-Nation returns! If I was forced to pick only one show to feast on, this would be the one. (With maybe a side order of General Hospital.) While I enjoy both Walking Dead programs, Z-Nation has the sense of humor I love with my horror. For lack of a better word, I also think it’s more realistic and feel more investment in the more well-rounded characters. Chances are, the group you’d be running with during the apocalypse wouldn’t all be depressed and/or depressing. There would always be a Murphy or a Doc who didn’t always take everything so seriously. And it’s still just as relentless in excitement. Lots of fun guest stars too, like Anthony Michael Hall and Gina Gershon, both of whom were wonderful. I also have to admit to a TV crush on Citizen Z and Pup. (I recently discovered that DJ Qualls was originally a model for Prada. While I think he’s cute, I was like, whaaat?) The Sy-we-don’t-know-how-to-spell-Fy network had/has a marathon going on today and will probably have another one before the season premiere, so if you have love for the zombie apocalypse and haven’t seen it yet, give it a try.

No GH for us today. Since it’s a holiday, it was also a rerun. Moving on…

The Real Housewives of the OC

Tamra is planning some dune buggy riding during Eddie’s birthday event in Glamis and she’s buying helmets for all the ladies. She calls to see if Meghan is going, but that’s a no due to her pregnancy. Tamra thinks Meghan is being a coward, saying pregnant women run marathons, but I’m with Meghan on this one. Bouncing around in a dune buggy is not the same thing and she’s gone through a lot with the IVF. Tamra says Shannon is acting like she didn’t even get an invite, and she has the feeling Shannon wants to avoid Kelly. She calls Shannon next, telling her about Heather renting an RV. As soon as Tamra tells her who’s coming, suddenly Shannon remembers she has some lung issue where she has to avoid dirt or something. Geez, at least make an effort to create a good story.

Kelly does some shopping for the trip. Her only concern is Heather pointing a judgmental finger at her. She tells her husband about Shannon’s vow renewal and how Vicki wasn’t invited, which she thinks was mean. They look at windbreakers, and Michael makes a typical male joke about breaking wind.

Shannon’s house is finally in escrow, She says it’s been in and out several times, but this time it looks like a go. She’s thinking she won’t be able to pack in the thirteen days before closing. She asks the realtor about more time, but he says that’s not a good idea. I fail to grasp why she hasn’t gotten going on this already. They also have to find a rental, so she gives the realtor her laundry list of wants, which is a lot. Oh no! The rental won’t have crystals buried beneath it like her house does now. How will she survive?

Heather says all she knows about Glamis is that there’s lots of sand and no stores. Horrors! She meets with the RV driver. She was expecting the RV to be like Tom Cruise‘s movie trailer and is disappointed even though it’s got the look of a nice hotel suite. Heather also doesn’t cook, so she’s had her personal chef prepare some dishes. I liked Heather at the beginning, but she’s been working my last nerve this season.

Meghan and Jim have a doctor’s appointment to see if she’s pregnant. She’s glad he’s with her, since he’s been MIA throughout all of the IVF stuff. She says she’s scared to be a mom because she’s Jim’s third wife, and even though he had children with the other two, things didn’t work out. I’m not sure what she’s saying here. That Jim leaves as soon as children are in the picture? I’m laughing because Jim is one of the most emotionless people I’ve ever seen. “Hey, Jim! The house just burned down.” Jim looks at the sky and picks his nose.

The RV picks up Tamra and Kelly. Even though the RV isn’t up to Heather’s expectations, Tamra is impressed, saying she wouldn’t expect anything else from “Fancy Pants.” She’s also concerned about Kelly, who she says is like a rescue dog, who you don’t know whether will lick or bite you. Next, they pick up Vicki.

While on the RV, Kelly suddenly gets nauseous. Vicki has to hold her ears when Kelly throws up, since she’s susceptible to anyone else getting ill. What is wrong with this bunch of wimps? This is the last group who should go camping, or do anything other than stay at a 5-star hotel up to Dubai’s standards. Kelly calls her husband to give him the deets. The driver misses a sign and has to turn around. Tamra thinks Heather should have spent more money on the driver than the vehicle. The ladies sing Kumbaya. This is starting to remind me of the time I took a bus trip through New England with my grandmother and her senior group.

Meghan gets a call from the doctor. Jim yawns and I laugh again. The pregnancy test is positive. He says they’ll do an ultrasound in two weeks. Meghan asks if it could be twins, but the doctor says it’s too early to tell. Jim can barely contain his excitement. Not really.

The camp site is already set up and Eddie is there to greet the ladies. Tamra’s mother is also there and a couple of people I don’t know. Heather introduces her son, Nicky. In her interview, Heather gushes over the place, going on about how beautiful it is and confusing me. While Heather will be staying in the RV, Tamra has rented trailers for everyone else. Vicki goes around showing her grandson, Troy, all the fabulousness via her phone. Sarah, Ryan and their baby also make an appearance. I think Sarah might have another kid there, but at this point, there’s too many kids running around and I can’t keep track of them.

Vicki goes running on the sand dunes. In her interview, Kelly says she’d join Vicki, but Principal Dubrow would probably shake a finger at her. Ha-ha! Oddly enough, it’s Tamra who tells Vicki to get off of the dunes, because there are dune buggies flying around everywhere and they’ll run right over her. Heather scrutinizes Kelly in her interview, saying she seems to be on her best behavior, but it remains to be seen if she keeps her promise. In her interview, Vicki says she’d like to be a princess like Heather, but she’ll probably be working until the day she dies. I find it a little hard to believe that Vicki needs to work until she dies unless she wants to. Or did Brooks took all her savings too?

Meghan and Jim are at their house in a gated country club community. I wonder how many houses they have. I always find the concept of having multiple homes desirable, but it’s probably not as fun as it seems. Shannon and David are meeting up with them to play golf. Because they have so much time on their hands before they move. Shannon says she doesn’t want to pack and is an avoider. An avoider previously lived in my house too. Not only did we have to agree that it not be “broom clean” as stated in the contract and let her park her RV here for two weeks to get her moved out on time, but she was still here when we moved in. You read that right. She was sitting in a folding chair in front of a closet still full of her stuff. My husband’s aunt had a summer home nearby. I told my husband I was going there and having a beer, and when I got back, she’d better be gone. She was. I also have to admit, there were some cool things left here, like a set of Gilbert & Sullivan recordings on 78 rpm albums.

Eddie teaches Nicky how to ride an ATV. Tamra suggests he ask for one for Christmas, along with a personal desert. The ladies get ready for their dune buggy adventure and we see flash backs of Tamra’s terrible driving. Kelly complains about sand in her face and having to pee. You can dress these girls up, but you can’t take them out. Tamra tells her group to hold on and drives like the Tasmanian Devil. And flips the buggy. Nice work.

Heather tells everyoen not to move and calls for the medic. Vicki gets sick and Kelly keeps yelling for the EMT. Both Vicki and Tamra have collars put on them. The dune buggy ambulance arrives. The medics ask both Vicki and Tamra questions, trying to determine their injuries. They both get put on boards and a helicopter lands. Eddie leaves with Tamra for the hospital, but the helicopter is taking Vicki to Palm Springs. She’s feeling numbness somewhere. Heather claims to be in help mode, but I swear, as hurt as I was, I’d deck her one for saying things like “you’re okay” and “you’re strong” ten thousand times. She calls Briana to let her know what’s happening, but Briana is sick and can’t go there. Kelly’s helmet came off and she says she’s lucky she didn’t get hurt. Heather brags to Terry about how helpful she was, while Kelly talks to Tamra’s mother.

Kelly realizes later that she hurt her elbow and Heather gives her some ice. Heather calls Meghan and tells her about the accident. She says that Vicki is in Palm Springs and all alone, but that’s about forty-five minutes away from them, and God forbid Meghan might be inconvenienced. After she hangs up, Meghan gets annoyed because Vicki isn’t her friend and she doesn’t want to go and felt like Heather was pressuring her. Okay, here I’m on Heather’s team. She might not consider Vicki a friend, but she’s a co-worker who is all by herself. Not a good look.

Next time, Meghan tells Shannon about the accident, the girls call Vicki in the hospital, Tamra can’t do the competition, and Meghan and Heather argue, probably politely.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Jacqueline tells Chris about how she and Teresa got along on the girls trip and it seemed like old times. Chris asks if she’s happy that the weekend turned out well. No, she wanted. to fight. Kiddingnotkidding. In his interview, Chris says she’s happy now, but as soon as somebody says something stupid, it will go back again. That ought to take about five minutes. Maybe less.

Siggy visits Dolores. Sadly, Dolores had to have her dog, Boo, euthanized because he had kidney failure. Siggy brings flowers and a present. It’s tough for me to watch because I love my dogs so much. Dolores says she doesn’t cry easily, but this is very hard on her.

Melissa is stumped over an order that comes into the store. Her manager, Derek, thinks he and Jackie placed it. (He doesn’t know?) Melissa calls Jackie and tells her that she wants everything that comes into the store to go by her first. Jackie argues that not everyone is a size zero like her. In her interview, Melissa says it’s not as much fun as she thought it would be. Work never is. She tells Jackie that she’s stressed out and Jackie says welcome to owning a business, and tells her she doesn’t have to be there 24/7. She admits to not being good at delegating and Jackie suggests she take some time off.

Teresa – omg, one of their dogs has a magenta mohawk and stripe running down it’s back – tells Gia that she wishes she could come to the book party, but you have to be twenty-one. I guess it’s in a bar. Joe #1 comes in and Gia argues with him. In her interview, Teresa says Joe is drinking more and unraveling. She asks him how he’s doing and he says fine. She says she was all about making memories before she “went away,” and wishes Joe would calm down.

Siggy picks up her son from school and they discuss his upcoming ski trip with his father. She lets him drive, but kibbutzes the whole time and says once he gets his license, he’ll be lost to her. He tells her she has no limits and is loud, and she asks what he expects since she was born in a bomb shelter. I futilely try to figure that one out.

Teresa tells Joe #1 that he’s just like his father and he tells her to shut up. He’s seriously nasty and she tells him to please leave the kitchen. He says the only thing he’s going to miss is his children. Obviously, he’s not taking this going to prison thing too well. Teresa says that she feels like she has five kids instead of four. In her interview, Dolores says it’s in Teresa’s DNA that you never get divorced. Teresa reminds Dolores about the book party coming up. Dolores says she and Siggy are going together.

Jacqueline and Chris are having a poker night. Chris excited because Rosie is going to be there. She and Joe #1 hung out a lot when Teresa was “away,” but she got the brush off since Teresa’s return. I already figure this isn’t going to go well.

Melissa is dealing with her children when Derek calls her about a deadline. Joe #2 comes home and she asks him to help with dinner, but God forbid. He says he’s going to poker night and she says someone has to pick up their son from wrestling. In his interview, he whines that no one helps him with everything. He cuts out as fast as possible.

Rosie arrives at Jacqueline’s. She fells badly about some things she said about Joe #1 on New Year’s Eve. In her interview, she says something I can’t understand because so many words are bleeped. She’s not sure where she stands with Teresa and doesn’t understand what the wedge between them is about. I dunno. I guess discussing it with them is out of the question.

Joe #2 arrives and Rosie talks to him about the other Joe. He makes up something about everyone being busy. Chris calls Joe #1 who says he’s tired and in bed. He says they don’t need him anyway, since Rosie’s is a good poker player. She says she was hoping to see him. They hang up and Rosie wants to leave. In her interview, she says she wanted to see Joe #1 and doesn’t need this bullsh*t. Jacqueline says she doesn’t think he’s not coming because of her, but she wants to leave anyway. These people are incredibly clueless. Jacqueline explains to the guys that Rosie was counting on seeing Joe #1 and thinks there’s some kind of rift.

Rosie comes back. In her interview, she says Joe #1 claimed to have had too much to drink. She says she doesn’t know if Teresa had anything to do with it, but she feels badly for him. She tells the others about her stupid remarks on New Year’s Eve and that she feels guilty. Joe #2 calls Teresa and asks about Joe #1‘s absence, which she explains by saying it’s getting closer to his time in the pokey and he’s kind of freaked out. Chris says he’s glad that his family isn’t as screwed up as Joe #2’s is.

Siggy helps Dolores go through her paperwork. She’s been giving her bills to Frank, but Siggy thinks she needs to get some independence. Dolores says Frank has always handled the bills and she handled the kids. Teresa joins them, and checks out the renovations. Teresa says that “it’s” starting to get to Joe #1 and she needed to get out for some air. Siggy explains what’s going on with Dolores’s bills and Teresa says Dolores needs to start understanding what everything is about. Dolores says she and Frank have a symbiotic relationship. Teresa says she’s lucky to have Frank in her life, but that could always change. Dolores gets excited when she sees a check for cable over-payment. She’s seriously ignorant of her expenses.

Melissa curls her daughter Antonia’s hair for a father/daughter dance. She tells Antonia  that she’s busy with the boutique right now, but doesn’t want their relationship to suffer. She talks to Antonia about what she wants to be when she grows up. Joe #2 says he’s a handsome devil and Melissa gives him a wrist corsage for Antonia. He and Melissa take pictures.

Gia and Teresa have a girls night and go out for sushi. Teresa says she appreciated Gia’s help when she wasn’t around and wants to do something special. Gia takes pictures of the food and calls her father a butthead. She says prison will be good for him. Teresa asks if she means the drinking, and Gia says partly, but he needs to realize what he has. Astute kid. Teresa says he makes the wrong decisions when he drinks. She says she thinks Gia is going to miss him, and she says she will, but she’s not too worried. Teresa tells Gia how proud she is of her. She does seem mature for her age, but she had to grow up kind of fast.

Chris wonders if Joe #1 is coming to the book launch party. He and Jacqueline hitch a limo ride with Dolores, Siggy and her husband.

Teresa is trying tot get ready, and Melania and Audriana act up. Teresa tells Audriana to get to bed and in her interview says that they’re acting out because they know Joe #1 is leaving soon. In the limo, Joe #1 asks Teresa how she’s feeling and she says she’s happy about the book, but not so happy about other things.

Joe #1 gets a call from one of his friends, but Teresa tells him that the friend can’t bring his 12-year-old son. Another deal breaker is that the friend is a felon. Joe tells his felon father friend that they’ll work it out at the venue, but Teresa says it’s a no.

The bar is pretty crowded and Joe #1 can’t get a drink fast enough. Everyone is introducing everyone, and Joe slips out. Teresa’s lawyer has to explain to Joe why his friend can’t come in. Peter the Felon screams at Joe on the street. I think he’s had a few drinks too.

Joe #1 is paged inside the bar, but he’s too busy outside to know. Lawyer James explains what’s going on to Teresa, while Peter rages on, yelling about the mob and the government. Joe comes back in and Teresa is introduced. Her book is number two on the NY Times best seller list. Teresa thanks everyone for coming. She says she wanted to show her daughters what she went through when they get old enough. She says the book is also a love story about her and Joe. She tells everyone she loves them.

Teresa’s lawyer says she’s number two and the Pope is number four. Joe jokes about coming back skinny as hell. Everyone toasts to everything.

This season, Jacqueline’s daughter gets engaged, Melissa has a fashion show, Joe #2 argues with Melissa, Jacqueline calls Melissa a “fake, phony bitch” (!) and embarrasses herself, Joe #1 tells his daughters he’s not dying just going away, and Joe #1 goes away.

September 4, 2016 – Fear the Dead Stands Alone

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

No Wives tonight because Bravo is always afraid to put on any new shows when it’s even near a holiday, or the Olympics are on, or it’s raining.

Fear the Walking Dead

I’m watching the tail end of last week’s episode again, and now that I take a better look, Alejandro sure got a chunk taken out of him with that zombie bite. I like Alejandro, but I don’t believe for a second that he has the right idea. I wonder if any of these characters will ever do a crossover to The Walking Dead.

We see a wedding celebration going on in the hotel. A little prequel to the prequel. Everyone is having a great time and the bride and groom have their first dance. The guests chit-chat and the waitstaff looks bored. The father of the bride is called up amid applause. The coordinator asks the mother if everything is okay. She says no, they have to leave, as the border might close due to the “sickness” that’s running rampant. The coordinator tells a waiter to get the vehicles.

As the mother and father of the bride dance – the last one, she says – the father drops to the floor. Zombie infection or heart attack? The bride gives him CPR. Zombie gets my vote, since he just bit off half her face as a waltz plays in the background. The music continues over the scene, making it really eerie. The coordinator locks all of the guests in the banquet room. Remind me not to recommend her.

Travis and Chris are walking down a deserted road. Travis thinks they should look for shelter. Me too, since he’s not doing too well, limping along. They see a station wagon and break into it. Chris wants to look for food at a nearby taco place, but Travis is hesitant. He tells Chris that if he sees anything to come right back and tosses him a crowbar.

Chris enters the restaurant. He sees water and a can of beans on the counter, but he also hears voices in the back. As he takes the supplies, several zombies wander in. He dispatches them, and three live guys come out from the back. He jets.

Chris runs to the car and tells Travis to get going. It’s a really cool old wagon, turquoise and white. Must be a decent car too, if it started after all this time. They drive away and Travis tries the radio. Nothing, which should be no surprise to anyone. He tells Chris to check the glove compartment (or glove box, depending on where you’re from). Not much in there, but he finds a woven bracelet and keeps it. I assume this is being noted for some future reason.

Travis stops the car and tells Chris it’s time to learn to drive since there’s no traffic. Really? We’re doing this now? In the dark no less? Chris starts and stalls a few times, and Travis gives him instructions. No Chris, don’t look at Travis, look at the road.

Meanwhile, Alicia looks out of a peephole in one of the hotel rooms and sees zombies strolling past. She counts them by carving marks on the door. One of them gets thisclose to the peephole and makes bitey faces.

Commercial break. The Blair Witch sequel is in theaters September 16. They’re claiming it’s the scariest sequel ever, but that remains to be seen. And it won’t be scary at all if they keep showing me pieces of it.

Chris continues to do the driving. They see someone walking along the road and he slows, but it’s a zombie. Travis tells Chris driving is pretty easy, except for parallel parking. He doesn’t know the half of it if he’s never tried to park in NYC. Travis says he doesn’t believe this is the end. He can’t and he won’t. He says neither should Chris and they’ll get back what they lost, but not everything. You know that song Running on Empty? Well, they are and the car slows to a stop.

They build a fire in the woods and eat out of the humongous can of beans that Chris swiped. Travis asks if he remembers camping. Chris says his mom hated it, but Travis says she endured it for their sakes. They talk about what it might be like in the mountains where they used to go, and Travis thinks a place like that might be safe. Chris asks what they’re doing, and Travis says surviving. He thinks they should go to a place with a vantage point. Chris suggests the border, but Travis says it’s dangerous. There’s water there and predators will be looking for prey. Chris asks what happens once they find somewhere, and Travis tells him they start over.

Uh-oh. Here comes a truck and you know they saw that fire. Chris and Travis hide. No surprise, it’s the guys from the taco place. The leader of the group says they’re not going to hurt anyone over refried beans, but want to camp there and wouldn’t want to pee in them on the dark. Like I believe he’d be concerned about that, but it was funny. Travis and Chris come out and leader says Chris demonstrated his badassness, killing those zombies. They introduce themselves as Brandon, Derek and Baby James (is he a James Taylor fan or something else?) Chris claims he saved their lives, but Brandon says not so much.

Alicia bides her time, watching what’s going on below from a balcony. She quietly leaves the room and sees zombies down a hallway. She runs in the other direction, calling for Ofelia. Yeah, where’d she go? She pries open some elevator doors, but no car and the zombies are getting close. She jumps in and grabs onto the cables. Talk about badass. The zombies jump too, but they’re not very coordinated because they’re dead, and they fall. A woman appears at another floor and Alicia climbs to her. Somehow, the woman manages to pull her into the hallway. She puts a fire ax to Alicia’s throat and asks, “Where is he?” Who? What? The hell? It’s the coordinator from the wedding.

Everone sits around the campfire. Brandon says they’re the first Americans they’ve met since all hell broke loose. He tells them they’ve been trying to get back to San Diego ever since. Travis tells them they came from the north, and that San Diego is gone and so is LA. He says everything is destroyed up to the Continental Divide. Brandon says they’ll come back; they always do.

Brandon tells Chris he showed some skill at taking out the “wasted.” He asks where Chris learned it and Travis says it came naturally. Chris says it gets easier with practice. Travis tells Brandon they appreciate the food, but they’ll be out of there in the morning. Brandon asks if they’d like to join them. Travis says they want to carve a place out for themselves and asks if the guys can spare gas. Brandon says they can’t, but they’ll give them a ride.

Alicia realizes the woman is the one who put the “do not disturb” signs on the doors. The woman wants to know where Hector is. Alicia says she doesn’t know who that is, but her mom and friends are there. The woman says she only saw Alicia. Alicia says her mother needs her and she has to go. The woman tries to stop her. Alicia asks who Hector is. The woman says her nephew, but he went for food and didn’t come back. She introduces herself as Elena. She’s the hotel manager and the remaining live guests want the keys from her. She says whoever has the keys controls the hotel. Alicia asks how many guests are left and she says about a dozen. Alicia says if she helps find her family, they can help in return. Otherwise they’ll die there.

In their tent, Travis and Chris talk. Travis doesn’t trust the new guys, but Chris thinks they can use the help. He says they’re willing to share their supplies and Travis asks how come they have so much? He doesn’t want to be in debt to anyone. Chris thinks Travis just wants to look for Madison, but he says he only wants to take care of Chris, and thinks the guys are dangerous. Chris says maybe that’s what it takes. Travis says they’ll go with them to the next town, but that’s the end of it. They’re going to find their own car and their own place.

Alicia and Elena leave the room and Elena leads the zombies away. Elena goes down another hallway and Alicia leads the zombies to one of the rooms. Good thing they’re slow moving. She stabs the closest one in the head and goes onto the balcony. Elena closes the room door because she’s good at that. She goes to the next room and tosses a sheet to Alicia who uses it to climb sideways and nearly falls in the process.

Alicia asks what took her so long and Elena says she needed to make sure they were all in there. Alicia asks her to come downstairs with her. She says her mother would die for her, and now she needs her. Elena agrees to go with her.

They reach the banquet room. Elena remembers the wedding. She tells Alicia about how the father of the bride had a heart attack, became a zombie and attacked his daughter. Alicia asks what she did, and she says she contained the situation. The hotel was at capacity and she had the other guests to consider. She couldn’t let the sickness spread, so she locked them in. She starts crying as well she should, since obviously this plan didn’t work very well. She says it was supposed to only be until help came, but it never did. She says they died and now they hate her. Alicia says she’s seen worse and she promises not to let them touch Elena. They leave the banquet room.

Travis and Chris hitch a ride with the new guys. Travis sits in the bed of the truck with Brandon, while Chris talks women with the guys up front. Brandon tells Travis this is awesome – no traffic, no cops, no bills – the end times has made them gods. They see a farm up ahead and stop there.

Finding nothing but dust, they decide to check the barn. Travis tells Chris that they should stay there and make it home. Chris is not into that idea and says they need other people. He leaves Travis to check out the barn with the other guys.

They hear noises from the barn and it turns out to be a flock of chickens. They get excited because it’s protein. So are beans, but I’ll let it pass. (No pun intended.) Travis sees a makeshift graveyard. Most of the Suaraz family died in 2010.

Alicia and Elena walk through the downstairs. The doors to the bar are locked, but Alicia sees a bunch of zombies inside. She calls for her mother. The group of living hotel guests, including the mother of the bride (how’d that happen?) come out with Hector. They want the keys, but Alicia says not to hand them over yet. She asks about her mother, but Elena says she’s not with them so she must be gone.

Alicia says she doesn’t believe her mother is gone. One of the guests tells Elena to give him the keys and she can have Hector. Elena is afraid they’re going to kill her anyway and the bride’s mother thinks that’s a swell idea. Alicia tells her to hand over the keys like she knows what she’s doing. Elena tosses them and grabs Hector. Alicia busts the door open, releasing the zombies.

Travis joins the others in the barn. Brandon wants Chris’s help, but Travis wants Chris to leave with him. He thinks someone might still be on the farm. He’s right, because a guy comes in with a gun and starts speaking in Spanish. Brandon and Bro’s don’t speak Spanish, but Travis says this is the guy’s house and they have no right to be intruding.

Alicia sees someone from behind in the bar who looks like Madison. She starts to turn and Alicia thinks it’s her mom the zombie (and we do too, but not really). It’s not, and she stabs the lookalike in the head.

Speaking Spanish, Travis tells Mr. Suaraz to drop the gun, that he’s outnumbered. When that doesn’t work, he says they’ll go, but instead, Mr. Suaraz shoots Baby James. Great. He was the only one I could tell apart from the other two.

Elena, Hector and Alicia make a run for it. Elena opens a trapdoor that leads to underground hallways beneath the hotel, and the go down. While they run through the corridors, zombies pop out at them and it’s pretty tense, especially since it’s dark and kind of narrow.

Travis pleads with the bro’s, but it’s Chris who shoots Mr. Suaraz. Oh yeah, didn’t he stab that other guy on the boat and acted sort of creepy in general?

Alicia is in the lead and comes up to a door. The zombies aren’t far behind and she can’t get it open. She starts pulling at it and banging on it. It opens from the other side and it’s Madison, who grabs Alicia in. Elena and Hector follow. Victor slides something in front of the door to block it.

Travis is on his knees, watching Mr. Suaraz die. He’s obviously devastated. Chris holds out his hand and we see the bracelet. Travis only looks at him with the saddest expression I’ve ever seen.

Next time, we find out what happened to Madison and Victor, Alejandro explains how he got bitten, and it looks like Nick snorts cocaine, or at least that’s what it looks like. Hmm…did he make a deal with that gang?

On a side note, a little trivia about the hotel. On Talking Dead, I learned that the hotel scenes were filmed in a real hotel, while it was in operation. That must have been quite a feat, with falling zombies and all. Production had to stop when guests needed to go through, and there was one particularly troublesome older gentleman. Maybe he was bucking to get in a scene. They should have slapped some zombie makeup on him and pushed him off a balcony. That’s show biz.

The other interesting thing is that, while doing research on the character of Elena, Karen Bethzabe discovered that the children of the workers who built the hotel later became the employees of the hotel. It wasn’t just a job to them, it was their life. This helped her to justify why Elena wouldn’t have wanted to leave and protected the place so fiercely.

Another bit of info about tonight’s episode is that the bride was played by Sissy Spacek‘s daughter, Schuyler Fisk, and the mother-of-the-bride played by Desperate HousewivesBrenda Strong (Mary Alice Young). I thought I’d recognized the latter from somewhere.

 

September 2, 2016 – A GH Wedding, a Flipping Out Promise & Quotes to Live By

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital – Thursday

Jason and Sam kick back in Jason’s hotel room. Sam says she’s starving, so Jason checks the room service menu. He’s not thrilled about the gourmet choices, but Sam tells him he can order the burger without the fig jam

Carly is busy making wedding plans. Nell comes downstairs and Carly babbles about the wedding. Bobbie stops by and asks who Nell is, and Carly introduces them. Nell can see Carly is dying to tell her mother their secret and says she can go ahead. Carly explains that Nell is Josslyn’s kidney donor, but they don’t want it made public. Bobbie says she’s more than grateful. Nell goes upstairs to read to Avery.

Sonny tells Oz that he doesn’t want to leave anything to chance when it comes to Julian.

Michael and Sabrrrina have finally gotten Teddy to sleep, so they take him to The Floating Rib, which makes perfect sense. They see Sonny and Oz talking. Sonny wants to stop Julian from communicating with Alexis.

Finn tells Hayden murder isn’t her style. She says she’s getting the impression he actually cares about her. He says if she tells anyone, he’ll deny it. She says now that she finds out he cares, she has to leave. I really like these two together. I liked Hayden with (the old) Nicholas, but Finn is a better match for her sense of humor.

Elizabeth tells Franco that Hayden tried to kill her. Jordan overhears them talking and asks if Elizabeth feels up to giving a statement.

Hayden tells Finn if she sticks around, it’s a risk. Finn tells her if she leaves, she’ll be a fugitive. The lights come back on and she says she’s out of there. Nurse Eileen comes in, and Finn asks about Elizabeth. Eileen says she’s doing well and they don’t expect any permanent damage. When she’s gone, Hayden comes back and says she knows what Finn is trying to do. Okay, tell me, because I’m not sure.

Elizabeth tells Jordan about feeling someone push her. Franco tries to interject, but Jordan tells him to back off and let Elizabeth talk. She asks if Elizabeth knows who pushed her and Elizabeth says Hayden.

Oz leaves and Michael goes over to Sonny, saying Teddy requires noise to sleep. I guess putting the television on wasn’t an option. Finn walks into the bar (I so want to make a joke – sorry, we don’t serve aquatic creatures, or something like that) and Joe is right behind him. Joe smiles at Sabrrrina. Come on, can Michael even hold a candle to this guy? He is so Rico Suave. Joe approaches Sabrrrina and Michael. He says it looks like trip to The Floating Rib was just what Teddy needed. Sabrrrina introduces Sonny, and Joe says he knows who Sonny is. He’s the guy who brought Carrrlos back to the states so he could be killed. We’re off to a great start.

Carly tells Bobbie the nanny story and says what a great nanny Nell is, but Bobbie says she knows exactly who could look after Avery. Oh, nice. Nell loses her job and you take her potential new one away.

Jason tells Sam they have a big day ahead of them. Sam says Molly told her it’s bad luck to spend the night before the wedding together, but she’s not big on superstition. She thinks it’s actually good luck. They kiss.

Hayden says Finn was trying to get information to find out when Elizabeth is going to squeal, but she’s not going to be a sitting duck. He asks where she’s going to go. She says she’s going to meet up with her mother in NYC, and she needs to go pack her bags. Finn says he’ll take her.

Jordan asks if Elizabeth saw Hayden before she was pushed, but Elizabeth says it was after she fell. Jordan says if she pushed Elizabeth, wouldn’t it have made more sense for Hayden to disappear? Franco says Hayden wanted to make sure she’d done the job right, and/or to send a message that she can do damage. He says Hayden seemed expressionless, which was kind of creepy, a big deal coming from him. Jordan says no one witnessed the actual assault. Elizabeth says Hayden slapped her during an argument earlier. Jordan asks if anyone saw, and Nurse Eileen appears and says she did. Really? I don’t remember her being there.

Sam is thrilled with the cold sesame noodles Jason brings back. He says they’re going to have two anniversaries, since they’re getting married around their old fifth anniversary. He wonders what the traditional present is for year five. She looks it up on her phone. It’s wood. Lots of jokes floating around everyone’s head, but he hands her the take-out chopsticks and they separate them like a wishbone.

Bobbie suggests that she babysit Avery. Carly says it’s a thankless, day in, day out job. Bobbie says she regrets not having a chance to bring Carly up, but Carly says she doesn’t owe her anything. Bobbie says it’s not out of obligation, but love.

Sonny says he didn’t really want Carrrlos dead; he wanted him to face justice for his crimes. Joe says he understands. He loved his brother, but he needed to pay for what he did. He apologizes for any pain Carrrlos caused. Joe asks to speak to Sabrrrina privately, and then asks her if he can spend more time with Teddy. She says just give her a call. He was afraid she’d say no, but she says Teddy is his family. He asks if they can finish the conversation they started and she says she’s ready to deal with their past.

Eileen tells Jordan that Hayden said something about shutting Elizabeth up. Jordan tells them it’s solid enough to merit further investigation and she’ll keep them posted. After she leaves. Elizabeth says it surprises her that she’s surprised. She didn’t really think Hayden would try to kill her. Griff comes in with her test results.

Elizabeth thought Griff had handed over the case to another doctor. He says the doctor got called out on an emergency, so he’ll go over the results with her. He says she has a mild concussion, some kind of contusion and something with her spleen. Why is it always the spleen? What is the spleen? Franco doesn’t like Griff’s cavalier attitude and wants another doctor. Griff ignores him and says if things keep going well, Elizabeth can be released soon, but they want to keep an eye on her for now. Franco doesn’t like Elizabeth staying in the hospital with the murders going on.

Finn and Hayden drink liquor out of coffee cups outside Perks. She says she guesses this is good-by and he asks her where she’s going.

Nell asks if Carly wants her to stay a few days to help, but Carly says Bobbie just volunteered her services. Nell says who better to watch Avery than her own family. Carly says Nell should be able to get a good job with her references, but Nell says with everyone having gone off to college, all the decent positions are filled already.

Sabrrrina says the past is the past, and she and Joe are just two people who care about her son. He asks if she’s committed to Michael.

Sonny asks Michael what’s on his mind. He says he doesn’t like seeing Sabrrrina with Joe because they have a past. Sonny says Michael is really jealous of her relationship with Carrrlos, and she’ll always have one because he’s her baby daddy. Sonny tells Michael not to let resentment build and he needs to talk to someone or talk to Sabrrrina. Michael says he’s right and Sonny says he always is.

Before Sonny leaves, he tells Joe he doesn’t know why he’s in Port Charles, but his brother caused a lot of trouble for Sonny’s family. Joe says he’s not his brother, but Sonny says he’s a different kind of trouble. He says don’t make the same mistakes Carrrlos did.

Elizabeth asks Franco to leave for a minute while she calls her grandmother to watch the kids. Franco approaches Griff. He asks if Elizabeth is going to be okay. Griff says he should really talk to Elizabeth’s doctor, but with the injuries she has, it’s wait and see.

Jason and Sam start fooling around and the phone rings. It’s Franco. Franco leaves a message for Jason to call him back about Elizabeth.

Sabrrrina explains to Michael that she and Joe were over a long time ago, and there’s nothing between them. Michael asks if Joe knows that, and she says yes. He says seeing them together brought back a lot of his old feelings about Carrrlos. Sabrrrina says she regrets what she did and will for the rest of her life, but she loves Michael and wants a future with him. If he feels like he can’t forgive her, he needs to tell her now.

Sonny gets home and says he didn’t think he’d see Nell there. She says Avery had a hard time getting to sleep and she wants him to know he has an amazing daughter. She says she’ll check in before she leaves and thanks Carly for the ride home. Carly tells Sonny that Bobbie will be the new nanny. He thinks it’s fantastic.

Jason tells Sam the last time he talked to Elizabeth, she said she wasn’t seeing Franco anymore, so he’s ignoring the call. They start to fool around again.

Hayden says if she talks to Finn, he’ll be aiding and abetting. He says that’s what he does for a living. She tells him that she doesn’t want to get him in trouble, and he reminds her that she brought drugs to him in jail. She tells him to take care of himself. He says he’ll try, and she says a wise man once said, there is no trying, just doing, and he realizes she’s quoting Yoda. Hayden asks Finn to spend time with Tracy because she needs someone. Finn talks about their friendship and Hayden says how was she supposed to know they were friends when he kept pushing her away? He says he wishes she wouldn’t leave. They kiss. Lots of that going around today.

Sam and Jason bask in the afterglow and open a fortune cookie. It’s one of those ones I hate that says, “With great work comes great success.” The next one is no better. Jason claims it says they’ll live happily ever after.

Carly tells Sonny the florist is going to be there early. Sonny thinks something is wrong and Carly says she feels badly about sending Nell back to Atlanta when there’s nothing there for her. Sonny says she can be grateful, but not be responsible for Nell’s life. He goes upstairs and Carly calls Nell. She says she wants to discuss Nell’s job hunt, and has a few ideas.

Michael asks if Sabrrrina wants a future with him. She says yes, and he says he wants one with her and Teddy. He says the past is behind them and they need to rebuild the trust they lost. He’s willing to make the effort if she is. They kiss. What’d I say?

Elizabeth tells her grandmother not to tell the kids what happened and she’ll be there as soon as she’s able. Franco overhears and says she’s missing the opportunity for handmade get well cards. She tells him to get some rest. He says he will and lies in the chair next to her. They hold hands. Her face is pretty bruised up, so they can’t participate in today’s kissing theme.

Jordan comes with an officer to arrest Hayden, who says she expected it, but wonders why it isn’t the Feds. Jordan says it’s not their jurisdiction. She’s being arrested for the attempted murder of Elizabeth.

Tomorrow, Finn talks to someone about a mutual friend, Curtis arranges something for Nina, and Jason has a surprise for Sam.

General Hospital – Friday

Nina and Curtis walk in the park. It sounds like Curtis has found a baby momma for Nina.

Franco talks to Elizabeth while she sleeps. He tells her even though the hospital lighting isn’t the best, she’s beautiful. He says whoever did this to her is going to pay, even if it is her sister. Elizabeth stirs and asks him what he said.

In the interrogation room, Hayden nods out and relives the kiss with Finn and her subsequent arrest. She wakes up realizing it’s all real.

Finn gives Hayden’s medical records to a nurse for delivery to the PCPD.

Paul gets a call from Ava, but he says “not today” to his phone. She leaves a message that she hopes he’s not ignoring her, and they need to discuss a game plan if he wants her to keep quiet. The jury selection for Julian’s trial is beginning.

Sabrrrina isn’t looking forward to testifying. Michael tells her to relax and just tell the truth. Monica tells them she’s going to have to miss the big day. What big day?

Oh, she must mean Jason and Sam’s wedding. Sam wants breakfast in bed, but there isn’t time. She suggests they elope, but Jason says as great as it sounds, they’ll disappoint their family.

Carly attends to the last minute details and gives instructions to the photographer. Sonny asks her if she’s overdoing things and didn’t they want it simple, but she says it is simple. I’m with her on this. It’s understated and elegant. She wants it to be about Jason and Sam, and wants them to be as happy as she and Sonny are.

Monica tells Michael not to mention anything to Jason or the kids about what happened to Elizabeth, and then has to explain what happened to Elizabeth. Sabrrrina suggests she stay behind in case Elizabeth needs anything.

Elizabeth asks about the boys and Franco tells her all is fine. He says Monica is going to gather them together later and hr grandmother will explain what happened. Elizabeth says she can’t believe that Hayden tried to kill her. Franco tells her to get some rest and he’ll be back before she wakes up. She thanks him. Wonder how that spleen is doing.

Finn calls Curis, leaving a message that he wants to talk about their mutual friend. Curtis ignores the call. Curtis explains to Nina how to talk to the potential mother. He tells her not to call anything a payment for services, but a payment for expenses. A humongously pregnant girl comes along and introduces herself as Bridget.

Michael and Jake are the first to show up for the wedding. Alexis and her girls are right behind. Alexis heads directly for the champagne, which makes me a little worried about her. Although I would relish seeing Alexis as a raging alcoholic. Sam and Jason show up, hardly dressed in summer casual. He’s wearing a tux and she has on a formal gown with a sparkly bodice.

Sabrrrina brings Elizabeth some magazines. She wonders why Hayden would push Elizabeth down the stairs. Elizabeth says it’s a long, complicated story and she’s just glad Hayden is locked up.

Franco goes to the station to see Hayden. The officer says family and lawyer only. At first Franco says he’s her lawyer (like that was going to work) and then he says he’s there for the family. Finn comes in asking if there’s a problem.

Curtis tells Nina he has faith in her and leaves. She thanks Bridget for coming and they both say how nervous they are. Bridget says she wants her little girl to grow up the best way possible and have a loving home. Nina tells her a little about herself, saying the child will never lack for anything material and she’ll love the baby with all her heart. Bridget lets Nina feel the baby kicking, which blows my theory that maybe Bridget isn’t really pregnant. Ava comes out of nowhere and tells Nina to get her hands off that girl. Ava has a lot of time on her hands. Doesn’t she go to work? Who takes care of the gallery?

Carly says she thought Sam and Jason wanted it casual. Sam says she thought Carly wanted them dressed up and says they’ll change. It just so happens that Jason has clothes in the car and Kristina has another outfit for Sam. If this was you or me, nobody would have anything except an old pair of shorts.

Ava tells Bridget to call the police. Ava says Kiki told her that Nina was drifting back into her baby obsession and wonders what kind of court would allow her to adopt. She realizes that Nina is going to get a baby “off the books.” Nina tries to get Bridget to go somewhere else with her (where’s Curtis?), but Ava says Bridget better keep Nina away from her baby.

Franco calls Finn “Dr. Buddinsky” and tells him to butt out. He tries to give a message to Finn from Hayden’s “family,” but Finn blows him off. The guard tells Hayden her doctor is here. Finn gives her something that looks like ibuprofen, saying it’s medication she needs because she got shot, and lucky her, he’s required to administer it personally.

Paul and Nathan visit Elizabeth. She goes over the timeline for them, remembering that she saw Paul in Monica’s office before she went to the stairs.

Alexis continues to work on the champagne. Sonny asks if she’s made up with Kristina and she says it’s a fragile peace. He mentions that jury selection starts today. She says it hadn’t crossed her mind and picks up another glass.

Ava tells Bridget that Nina is dangerously unstable and tells her about how Nina kidnapped her baby. She calls Nina a lunatic in sheep’s clothing. Nina says it’s not as bad as it sounds. Ava says it is, and Bridget should run away and never let Nina near her baby.

Finn feels responsible, saying if it wasn’t for him, Hayden would have been long gone. She says it’s ironic she’s been arrested for the one crime she didn’t commit. She wonders who would believe it wasn’t her.

Paul suggests Elizabeth’s time frame is off. Elizabeth says she remembers seeing Paul searching through Monica’s desk and he insists he was looking for a pen. Nathan thinks they’re just digressing and asks about the stairs. Monica interrupts, saying Elizabeth has had enough questions for one day. Paul says he hopes she feels better soon and Sabrrrina gives Paul the mother of all soap opera faces as he walks out. I hope Nathan thinks about this real hard, because Paul basically gave himself away by first saying that Elizabeth was mistaken about seeing him and then saying he was in there looking for a pen. Hello? Did no one notice this? Maybe Sabrrrina did and that’s why the face.

Naomi comes to the station. Franco tells her that Hayden has been detained because she tried to murder her sister.

The photographer takes pictures of Sam with her mother and sisters. They all talk about Julian’s trial through clenched teeth smiles and in between the song part. Photos of the guys are taken, and Jason wishes Monica could be there. Just sayin’, but Sam’s new outfit, a chiffon-y white halter number, isn’t that much less dressy than the one she walked in with. Molly insists that Jason and Sam do a kiss photo.

Nina says she has references and Bridget can talk to her therapist. Bridget says she’d rather leave and jets. Ava tells Nina that actions have consequences, and Nina asks when Ava is going to pay for her actions, including Connie’s murder. She tells Ava that she’s a hypocritical, lying bitch. Suddenly, Nathan steps in.

Finn insists Elizabeth will remember that Hayden didn’t push her once her mind clears. He tells Hayden that he can’t pretend to understand their grudge, but he doesn’t think Elizabeth would blame her for something she didn’t do. The cynic in him is working on a contingency plan just in case though. Before he leaves, he tells Hayden to stay positive because it’s better for her immune system. He adds that it might be inappropriate considering the circumstances, but she looks pretty. Aww! Michael Easton is just precious in this role. Much better than the brooding poet he usually is plays. If I want to see Heathcliff, I’ll watch Wuthering Heights. Now he’s a brooding poet with a sense of humor and a bearded dragon.

Naomi tells Franco that Hayden doesn’t have a sister. Franco says he knows Hayden and Elizabeth are half-sisters, sharing Jeff Webber as a father. He tells her he found out from Heather. Naomi says Heather is a lunatic who no one will believe. Franco says maybe, but everyone will believe him and the money can be traced. He tells her everyone is going to know. Naomi says no one is going to know, especially Elizabeth.

Monica complains about being short-staffed. Sabrrrina says her nursing license is still current and offers her services. Monica accepts.

Sam asks where the officiant is and Jason says he has a surprise. He leads everyone to the stairs and Spinelli comes down. Just yesterday, Spinelli became a minister online through the Church of Illuminating Wonders. I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s a real thing.

Ava tells Nathan that his deluded sister was about to buy a baby, and she’s not about to let her get her hands on another one. Nina says she’s changed, but Ava hasn’t, and one day it’s coming back to bite her. Ava says no one has ever proven anything about her, but Nina can’t say the same. She leaves.

Curtis calls Finn back. Finn tells him that Hayden needs their help.

Naomi tells Franco it would destroy her relationship with Hayden (like he cares) and be bad for Elizabeth (okay, she has him there). She says Elizabeth idolizes her father and he’ll be pushed off the pedestal. This is news to me, since we never even hear her talk about Jeff.

Monica looks over Elizabeth’s chart. She says Elizabeth isn’t out of the woods – most likely it’s that spleen thing – but making progress. She says the kids will be told what’s going on after the wedding. Elizabeth is like, what wedding? and Monica tells her Jason and Sam are getting married.

Sam walks down the aisle as invisible violinists play.

Wait, what? Did GH just end on a good note? On a Friday? What happened to my show?

On Monday, Hayden asks if Nina believes her, Ava asks Paul how Julian is going free, and Spinelli tries out his new job, joining Sam and Jason in marriage.

Flipping Out

I also wanted to give a shout out to Flipping Out. I’ve always liked Jeff Lewis, despite his quirky (read pain-in-the-ass) personality. I’m pretty sure I’d even enjoy working for him. He pulls no punches and expects 100% out of his employees, but he works extremely hard, and doesn’t ask anything from anyone that he wouldn’t do himself.

It’s been interesting to watch him grow through life experience as well as therapy. Soon to be a dad with partner Gage, I have no doubt that child is going to lead a charmed life. While his sense of humor is sometimes a little dark for kids, he reminds me of my own father somewhat in that regard, and I’m sure he’s going to make a wonderful parent.

Thursday night’s episode was particularly touching. While he and his housekeeper Zoyla have often butted heads, it seemed like their relationship might have come to an end when Zoyla walked out after an argument. She was scheduled to take care of the house and pets while Jeff and Gage were away on business, and it looked like she wasn’t going to show up, causing everyone to scramble to rearrange plans. Jeff was ready to fire her, leaving her a message that she’d best think carefully about what she’s doing, when returned.

What was beautiful about this episode was the therapy session they had together afterward. Seeing two adults talk out their differences in a reasonable way was amazing enough, but Jeff went on to say how much he cared about Zoyla, something that snarky Jeff rarely does. He told her that it was her choice whether she wanted to continue working for him or retire, but either way he promised he would take care of her for the rest of her life. It was so kind and so loving, I nearly burst into tears. Not something Flipping Out usually does to me. She chose to continue working part time and expressed interest in being involved with the new baby, which he said he definitely wanted. He told her that he loved her and she said she loved him too. It was one of the truly great moments in reality TV that didn’t involve a fight.

Jeff is going to make an awesome daddy!

😟 I also just read that Devious Maids has been canceled and I’m so disappointed. It was a delightful show – smart and funny, intriguing and fun. I’d also liked Eva Longoria ‘s other effort, Telenovela, which unfortunately disappeared after a few episodes. Here’s hoping she continues to toss her hat into the ring until something sticks.

Quotes of the Week

Always remember: If you’re alone in the kitchen and you drop the lamb, you can always just pick it up. Who’s going to know?Julia Child

There is no magic to achievement. It’s really about hard work, choices, and persistence.Michelle Obama

For God’s sake even Superman was Clark Kent. Go to work.Gene Simmons on Dr. Phil, addressing a 44-year-old man who continues to pursue his dream of being a rock star by sponging off of his loved ones.

August 31, 2016 – GH’s Killer Gets Blackmailed, LA’s Briana is About to Pop & NYC’s Reunion Ordeal Begins

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Finn asks Franco what he’s implying about Hayden. He asks why Franco would accuse her of wanting Elizabeth dead. Hayden tells Finn not to pay attention to him, but Franco says Elizabeth has something on Hayden that could put her away. Hayden says Franco is just making things up, but he says he’s not making up a pouch of diamonds that are proof of fraud. I guess telling them that they’re sisters is now out of the question.

Franco leaves and Finn asks Hayden what’s going on. Hayden tells him not to get involved. Finn says he took some things out on her and he was wrong. He says she took a risk for him and he doesn’t want her to leave town. Gee, maybe if you’d said that a week ago, you wouldn’t be having this conversation now. Hayden says she doesn’t know what to do and he tells her to stop doing it on her own and let him help her.

Alexis is at the bar. OMG – so is Julian!

Ava realizes Paul is the hospital killer. Ava wonders why he’d do something like that and says nothing makes sense.

Meanwhile, Paul continues to be the hospital killer, stalking Monica. Luckily her phone rings while she’s in the locker room, but he’s lurking right behind her.

Griff tells Franco they’ve ruled some things out, but Elizabeth isn’t out of the woods. Franco asks what he’s talking about. Griff says they need to run more tests and they take as long as they take. Doctor talk. He says she’s under excellent care and constant attention.

Julian tells Alexis that the powers that be know they belong together. She argues with him and he grabs her arm. Then we see Tracy has her arm. I can’t believe they fooled me again. Alexis asks where Julian went. Tracy says he’s in jail. Alexis swears she saw him, so Tracy calls the PCPD.

Oh! Paul’s phone goes off and startles Monica. Hiding the syringe, he makes something up about why he’s there. She thanks him for all his hard work and leaves. He sees a picture on his phone of him and Ava – he’s putting on cufflinks in the picture. He calls her, thinking that she’s trying to hold their affair over his head, but she says she has something more and to meet her at Perks. He asks where she is now and she says closer than he thinks. She talks to herself, saying now it’s his turn to have his sins come back and haunt him. This is a good one today.

Jordan comes to the hospital. Monica tells her Paul is there already. She’d asked him to come because of the patient that did and he was there in a heartbeat. Yep. He certainly was. Monica says she thought that’s why Jordan was there, but Jordan says she’s there because Elizabeth was supposed to come to the station and never showed up.

Griff tells Franco to talk to Elizabeth when she gets settled in. He believes in second chances and thinks Franco is sincere.

Hayden tells Finn about the diamonds. She says Elizabeth made her so angry, she slapped her, but that’s all. He says he believes her. She says the diamonds were all that was left after the Feds confiscated all the assets, but she never sold them because they were the last thing left from her father. Finn says help him understand how she could be so clueless.

Tracy confirms that Julian is still in jail. She asks how long Alexis has been hallucinating. Alexis says it’s more like a waking nightmare that she’s had since Julian tried to kill her. Tracy brings up the fight she had with Kristina, but Alexis says it was no big deal. Still, she’s terrified Julian will be acquitted because of her.

Paul tells Ava she’d better have a good reason for the meeting. Ava acts silly and tells him they’re in a public place, so don’t try to kill her. She tells him about Jordan calling her in regard to a murder. He tells her the flash drive is safe as long as she testifies against Julian. She says she’s not going to do that and he’s not going to give the flash drive to anyone. He thinks she’s calling his bluff, but she tells him about the cufflink and how she remembered it was his.

Monica tells Jordan how Elizabeth had a nasty fall. She starts to tell Jordan about the power outage, but Franco butts in, saying something about Hayden being responsible.

Hayden tells Finn that she has nothing left. She lied to the Feds, and if Elizabeth turns her in, she’ll go to prison. Finn says Franco is right, if Elizabeth dies, her problems go away. Hayden is aghast that he’d believe she’d kill Elizabeth.

Griff sees a needle in with the dirty scrubs. He carefully removes it.

Franco talks to an unconscious Elizabeth. He says they have a lot to talk about and there’s more to life than just toast. She regains consciousness and asks what happened. She asks about the boys and he says they’re fine. She says she’s sore and he tells her she took a big fall. He asks if she remembers anything.

Tracy says Alexis knows what the jury wants to hear to convict Julian and she has to give it to them. Alexis tells Tracy about how Jordan thought she was still trying to protect Julian and trying to discredit herself.

Paul laughs – ha-ha! – at Ava. He says she can’t prove he ever owned anything like that. She says she does have their video though. In addition to the graphic footage, there’s a clear image of him putting on his cufflinks.

Griff tells Monica about the syringe. He’s given it to the lab for analyzing. He asks about Elizabeth and they both go to check on her. Franco is telling Elizabeth to just concentrate on getting better because he’s not okay with this and thought he almost lost her. She says she’s still here and he says he’s glad. (His characters are so often brooding, it’s nice to see Roger Howarth smile. Although I’d rather see Franco and Nina together.) Griff and Monica come in. Griff says tests are being run and Monica says everyone is rooting for her and to rest. When they’re gone, Franco says everyone in the hospital loves her. Elizabeth starts to remember what happened. She starts to talk about going into Monica’s office, but Franco interrupts, so she skips to the power outage on the stairs. She tells him she felt hands on her back.

Hayden asks if Finn thinks she pushed Elizabeth. He says he didn’t say that, but the argument happened just before Elizabeth fell down the stairs, so what is he supposed to think?

Alexis says if nothing else, Scotty is going to have a field day with how long she waited to say something about Julian. Tracy says that’s okay, he’ll probably make a procedural error, and besides, they have the confession on tape. She says after all Alexis has been through, she’ll blow the jury away just by telling the truth.

Paul balks at the idea a grainy video will bury him. Um…it’s not very grainy. He asks why Ava thinks he’d be behind the killings. She says she spent time in his hotel room tonight and not to be concerned with the how and the why, but what she found. She shows him the pouch with the syringes in it and he makes a great soap opera face. 😨

Hayden tells Finn she wanted to shut Elizabeth up, but not kill her. She says she had something on Elizabeth too. She tells him she was shot last year and the official story was wrong. She says Nicholas hired sometone to kill her and Elizbeth knew about it. Finn’s mind boggles that Hayden still married Nicholas. Hayden says Elizabeth was an accessory after the fact and she was going to make a bargain with her. She says she’s not a murderer. Jordan interrupts saying she’s been looking for Hayden. She tells her that Elizabeth had called saying she had information about Hayden. Hayden says she doesn’t know anything about it and Elizabeth doesn’t clue her in on her plans. Jordan says Franco told her that he found Elizabeth with her in the stairwell. She asks what Hayden was doing before the outage and Finn says she was with him.

Elizabeth realizes she was pushed and wonders who would try to kill her. She says she was going home to get the diamonds and she’d just had a fight with Hayden. Finn got in the middle and told her to go see Monica. Franco says its not a stretch to think Hayden was involved, since when he got there, she was standing over Elizabeth.

Alexis asks Tracy what she’s even doing at The Floating Rib, since its not her usual haunt. Tracy tells her about the disastrous lunch with Dillon and how she saw Alexis talking to herself. She says she knows Alexis is angry and that anger can be motivating. She tells Alexis that it will get better and eventually she’ll have her life back, but testifying is the first step. Tracy leaves to take a call and Julian is back again, telling Alexis that she won’t be able to do it.

Paul says not that it’s Ava’s business, but he has a prescription. She says not for this he doesn’t and it’s something used for surgery. She says she was originally there out of curiosity and found the mother lode. She asks what he’s trying to cover up, who he’s trying to frame, or is he just a psycho? She says he’s done if she decides to go to Jordan. He asks what she wants. This reminds me of the time that Home Depot tried to get over on me, but then realized I had the upper hand. Long roofing story.

Griff tells Monica that the syringe tested positive for whatever that drug is that’s been killing the patients. She wonders if the power outage stopped the killer and Griff says maybe they’re the one who caused it.

Ava says Paul probably made copies of the flash drive anyway, but his silence is a condition of the agreement. She says she knows he’s angry and homicidal, but there’s no reason not to be civilized. And I swear to you, just now Paul called Ava “Anna” and no one caught it or they thought the audience wouldn’t. Ava tells Paul that she also wants Julian to go free.

Alexis says she’ll bury Julian, but he says she can’t, and they’ll be together because they were meant to be. She tells him he’s not really there. Tracy sees her talking to herself again, and Alexis asks what’s happening to her. Tracy says she’s been drinking on an empty stomach. She tells Alexis she’s calling her a cab and she’s to go home, drink some water, take some aspirin and go to bed. If she ends up a whimpering mess, Julian wins, and don’t let him win anything.

Finn tells Jordan that he and Hayden had argued and he was trying to make things right. Jordan says she might need to contact him for more formal questioning and Hayden should expect to be contacted as well. She leaves and Hayden asks why Finn didn’t say anything. He says he doesn’t think she pushed Elizabeth.

Elizabeth tells Franco that Hayden did this to her. Franco says they don’t know that and Elizabeth tells him about the slap. She adds that Finn saw it and says Hayden tried to kill her.

Tomorrow, Jason tells Sam to make a wish, Sonny tells Joe not to make the same mistakes Carrrlos did, and Nell asks Carly if she threatened someone.

Little Women: LA

Briana says she’s about to burst and she’s now as big around as she is tall. She and Matt go out to lunch and discuss having a housewarming or “pre-pop” party. She says if Christy shows up, she’ll call the cops. She’s furious about Christy setting her up at Tonya’s party. Briana says Christy is delusional and she thinks she must be doing something like day drinking or taking drugs. She says Christy has completely changed, and she vacillates between being zen and wired. Matt thinks they should also reveal their baby’s name at the party.

Joe and Terra are doing fun activities with Penny before she has a new brother or sister to torment for the rest of her life. They’re making some kind of craft that involves hand prints, and Penny is not pleased at having her hand dipped in paint. Joe tells her not to worry because she only has 18 more years to live with them.

Since Penny will be behind in physical development, Terra is trying to teach her more words. In her interview, Terra says there’s no scale to measure a little person’s development; everyone is different.

Preston and Elena, who looks stunning in a yellow and black maxi sun dress, sit on the patio while the babies are napping. They discuss their sex life, or lack thereof, since they have to wait six weeks. Elena says she feels like cobwebs are growing on her and she’s counting down the hours. One of the babies starts to cry. There goes relaxation time.

Tonya comes over Terra’s place. Terra wants to wrap up the feud they’ve been having. In her interview, Terra says they’ve been best friends for most of their lives. She tells Tonya that she’s sorry for putting her nose where it didn’t belong and that Tonya is like a sister to her. She starts to tear up and Tonya tells her to stop because she doesn’t want to cry. She says the activewear line is like her baby and there’s a difference between critiques and throwing shade. She’s also annoyed that Terra drug Elena into it.

Terra says she hadn’t expected Elena to make things worse. She tells Tonya that it upset her to see Tonya talking to Christy about it. Terra switches topics by saying she gets the feeling there’s been a disconnect between Tonya and Angelique since Kerwin moved in. She tells Tonya that Angelique feels like she settled. In her interview, Tonya is bothered that Angelique would tell Terra something like that before she came to her. Tonya accepts Terra’s apology, but insists she hasn’t settled.

Autumn and Christy are taking a yoga class. In her interview, Christy says yoga ain’t easy for a dyslexic dwarf, and that you’re not going to be a good parent unless you’re embarrassing your kid. My father would probably concur about the latter. After class, Christy tells Autumn that her grandfather could have colon cancer. They say they’re each other’s best friend.

The girls go to an ice cream parlor where you ride a bike to churn your own ice cream. Cool! Both literally and figuratively. Tonya tells everyone that she and Terra have reconciled. Elena says she was hurt by Tonya blowing her off at the party and feels like she can’t speak her mind. Tonya thinks once Elena actually sees her activewear, she’ll be impressed.

Tonya asks how everyone is feeling about Briana and Matt, since their party is coming up. Jasmine says that Matt makes her uncomfortable, but she doesn’t want it to cause another rift.

Jasmine and Chris walk on the beach. She says they won’t be able to have much alone time after the baby comes. She’s worried about Briana and Matt. Chris suggests she stay out of their business. Jasmine thinks that Matt needs to understand how she feels so they can move on. She says he has a hot temper and doesn’t mince words, so she’s concerned about approaching him.

Tonya and Angelique take a flying class. Not that kind of flying, but those circles and fabric swatches people twirl around on. During a break, Tonya tells Angelique that she and Terra made up. She mentions what Terra told her in regard to Angelique’s feelings about Kerwin. Angelique says it’s a big change and she feels like she got no warning. She loves them, but feels like her opinions and feelings have been disregarded. She starts to cry and Tonya apologizes. Tonya figured since Angelique was grown, it wouldn’t be a big deal and didn’t realize she needed to adjust. Tonya asks why Angelique feels like she’s settling. Angelique says that Kerwin moving in seemed to come out of the blue. Tonya says every love story is different and their timing hadn’t been good up until then. She says she’ll never put a man before her child though. They hug it out.

Todd and Christy look at outdoor plants for their new house. Todd wonders if getting Christy’s dad involved in gardening might be a good idea. She says her dad has pre-cancerous cells in his esophagus and they need to do more testing on his colon. It’s upsetting to hear her mother talk about chemo and radiation. Todd suggests putting off his search for his birth parents so they can concentrate on her father. Christy thinks all the more reason not to wait, since there could be health issues in Todd’s family that he should know about.

The pre-pop/housewarming party begins. Briana is having mild contractions, but says she’s had them before and isn’t too concerned. Elena looks fabulous for someone who just had twins, but these girls always look well put together. Jasmine is anxious about talking to Matt, since she doesn’t know what his reaction will be, but feels like she can’t hold back any longer.

Jasmine asks Matt if she can have a word. She says she was there for him and fought for him, and the things he did with other women were disgusting. She wants to be supportive of Briana, but doesn’t want things to be awkward with Matt. Matt tells her that he hopes with time he can show everyone that someone can change. He tears up and says he wants to set a good example for his children. Jasmine says that if he’s who Briana chooses, she has to accept that. He thanks Jasmine for being a good friend to Briana throughout.

Jasmine tells the girls about the conversation. In her interview, Terra thinks Jasmine is taking it all too much to heart and Briana is the one who has to sleep with him.

Time to eat. Jasmine asks Briana about Christy setting her up for the process server to find her at the party. Briana says she’s disgusted with Christy and she’ll never be friends with her again. She thinks Christy is trying to take attention away from something going on in her own life. Elena wonders if it was just a coincidence. Terra brings up how Christy almost got her arrested and Jasmine says it’s been a chain of events. Terra thinks Christy is trying to get back at Briana for cutting her out of the loop.

Briana wonders if Christy is on something. Terra says that she and Tonya had discussed if Christy was on drugs. Briana says she doesn’t seem like the same Christy. In her interview, Terra talks about Christy repeatedly taking what she said was ibuprofen a year ago, although she doesn’t think it was ibuprofen. Elena is distressed that the allegations are so big.

Game time. The guests pick a cupcake with a letter of the alphabet on it. All together they will form the name. Maverick Jax. Okay, I’m good with that. All of a sudden, Briana says her pain is at a 10 and it’s close to how she felt the last time she went to the hospital. She’s not supposed to have her c-section for another two weeks. Terra says she could die if she tries to deliver naturally. Briana decides to go to the hospital. She’s more worried about the baby than the pain, not knowing if these are contractions or the baby is in distress. Matt gets her into the car.

Tonya says the baby is about to come. Everyone watches as the car drives away.

This season is chock full o’ fun – an amusement park, archery, bowling, Penny poops, Briana delivers, Christy is confronted and Terra is hospitalized.

The Real Housewives of NYC – Reunion Part One

Andy says hello to the ladies and they answer back like it’s an AA meeting. No shock, everyone looks fabulous. I especially love Dorinda’s white and silver dress that looks like a snowflake. Bethenny’s divorce is finally coming to a close after five years, but she’s not discussing her latest boyfriend. Jules, who is in the process of a divorce, isn’t talking about that either.

We start with Dorinda and flash back to the stupidity of John. Dorinda wears those humongous chain earrings a lot. She’s like, thanks a lot for making me relive that again. Bethenny says her hat’s off to Dorinda for putting her life out there. The Countess asks if John watched the show. Dorinda says he tried to justify his behavior at first, but she told him he was an a-hole and he accepted the mantle.

A fan asks what Dorinda thinks rubs people the wrong way about John. She says her husband was very different, visually as well as intellectually, and she traveled in a different circle, so people aren’t used to it. Sonja says a bunch of stuff that boils down to John not having social skills. The bra party is brought up. Andy asks Bethenny if she was referring to coke when she sarcastically asked if John wanted to “blow some lines.” She says she was, and Dorinda says Bethenny doesn’t know their life. Bethenny doesn’t want the question to go any further. Dorinda asks why Bethenny would insinuate that she does drugs and Sonja says everyone knows she does. What? Andy just moves on and I’m like, hey, go back.

They talk about Bethenny’s birthday party and how she ran from John. Bethenny says her problem is that she can’t pretend, and it makes social situations awkward. Ramona gets a turn on the John bandwagon and we flash back to that drunk guy that John tried to kick out of the party. Then we move to The Countess because she dated that guy. Ramona is asked why she wanted him to stay, and she acts clueless. Andy asks Dorinda about where she thinks her relationship is going and she says they’re both happy the way things are. I’m very distracted by the decor – silver pillows on a plum velvety couch, winter berries in vases and some beautiful pink martini and wine glasses stacked in the background. Andy said they were at The Diamond Horseshoe in Times Square, which I assume is a chic bar.

Ramona’s turn. She’s single and ready to mingle. We flash back to her many moments of flirtatiousness. In one of them, I notice a lady in the background at a restaurant noticing the cameras. My favorite part is when Ramona mispronounces reggae as ra-gay, emphasis on the gay. Andy asks if there’s anyone special, but she says she’s just dating a lot. Dorinda says she went from trapping to hunting. Andy says viewers have seen her as “lighter” this season. She talks about her and Mario going back and forth for a while before they finally divorced. She had always been the caregiver when no one took care of her. I will say, she didn’t really scream and yell at anyone this time around. It’s Groundhog Day when we go back to the pronunciation of reggae and then we move on to The Countess’s way of pronouncing things that’s totally her own.

Dorinda is asked for a review of the guys that Ramona’s been dating, but she’s not talking. She and Sonja get in an argument about how Dorinda feels about Ramona’s dating life. Andy asks how Ramona’s daughter feels about her newly single mother. They all talk about Ramona’s new ta-tas and how great she looks.

We revisit Dorinda’s holiday weekend in the Berkshires. The Countess and Bethenny bicker in those little corner squares while we watch Bethenny rip The Countess a new one during dinner. It culminates with Dorinda’s “I did it nice” speech. Andy asks if there’s a curse on her parties with the women. We go over The Countess’s claim that Bethenny copied her hairstyle. Andy asks for a show of hands, but there are no takers. They discuss Dorinda’s birthday cake. Andy says her kitchen monologue was gripping. Dorinda says at that point she just wanted to be a mother and stop the arguing and I agree – she did sound like someone’s mother. Or that guy in West Side Story who says “You kids! Why do you live like there’s a war on?” Apparently, her tirades have their own Twitter name – dornadoes.

Andy mentions that The Countess acted self-centered when Jules tried to tell her about her father being sick. The Countess says she apologized and Jules says she wasn’t offended since they talk all the time. Bethenny is called out about slut-shaming The Countess. We flash back to the married man thing in Turks and Caicos. The Countess claims he was getting divorced. Pfft! That’s what they all say. She says Bethenny is a hypocrite because Bethenny is dating a married man right at this very minute. She didn’t really say that last part, but I thought it sounded more dramatic.

The Countess says when Bethenny started dating him, he had been married and living at home. I assume she means with his wife and not his parents. The Countess asks what married man she’s slept with, and Bethenny asks who hasn’t she slept with, and Carole adds if The Countess doesn’t know, how would she know? Bethenny jokes that she’s going to come out with a Slutty Girl line.

Andy asks if Bethenny’s boyfriend left his wife for her and she says no. She actually called his wife, who she’d gone to high school with, to make sure everything was cool. The Countess keeps whispering to the others on the other couch. Andy moves back on topic and Bethenny says she called his wife while she was still only friends with him to get a time stamp. Bethenny says if slut-shaming is noticing that The Countess writes etiquette books, but then acts like a whore when she’s out, that’s what she’s doing. Alrighty then!

Andy points out that Bethenny said she liked the new, freewheeling Countess during the last reunion. Bethenny says she got a little too free, swiping men out from under their women’s noses. A fan says that Bethenny is disrespectful to her co-stars and then acts repentant. The Countess says the remorse isn’t genuine and we go back to Bethenny dating a married man because no one can ever let anything go.

Bethenny whips out her phone to call her boyfriend’s daughter. Someone always whips out something. Bethenny asks the daughter if anyone in the family believes she was dating her father while he was married. The daughter confirms that’s a no. She actually talks for a while, but you can’t hear it above the bickering going on.The Countess says the daughter is just defending her father and there’s a mini-debate about whether daughters are more defending of their mothers or fathers. The Countess calls Bethenny a horrible, evil person and Bethenny calls her a liar.

Next time – part two – The Countess loses her title, Bethenny accuses Jules of using the show as a vehicle for her divorce, Tom and Sonja are discussed and Ramona whips out evidence. Told you.

I’m also watching The Real Housewives of Melbourne, although I started late because they snuck it in on me. I like this one because the women are all loud and literally larger than life, reminding me of transvestites, and I mean that in a good way. They wear lavish outfits, throw lavish parties, argue incessantly, and go to places like Dubai, a city I’m fascinated with, but would be scared to actually travel to. I love seeing Australia as well. That’s another place I’d love to visit, but can’t imagine a plane ride that long. This season, we were also treated to a the wedding of Gamble Breaux (yes, that’s her name) on a beach in New South Wales. I recommend this one – if you can keep track of it.

August 30, 2016 – GH’s Ava Knows All & So Does HAHN’s Benny

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Felicia and Maxie are in a booth at the bar. Maxie takes apart a wedding collage she’s made and is going to burn the pieces. Felicia tells her to hold off. Maxie says that Nathan wants these things with Claudette and she has to destroy her false hope. Maxie gives Felicia a condensed version of the Claudette/Nathan/Griff story. She tells Felicia about how Nathan was ready to tear Griff apart when he saw Griff kissing Claudette. Felicia says but he listened to Maxie when she told him to stop. Maxie says Claudette still has a hold on him, and Felicia says, break it then.

Nathan tells Nina that Maxie won’t talk to him. Nina thinks he’s still harboring feelings for Claudette. She wants to know how he really feels before she goes to bat for him. He says he wouldn’t have proposed to Maxie if he didn’t want to spend the rest of his life with her. He says he harbors feelings of anger toward Claudette, but he’s not in love with her. Nina says he has to make that clear to Maxie, especially since he attacked Griff. Nathan says he wasn’t jealous, he was angry. Nina says it must have been a horrible flash back and he says it was like reliving the whole thing in a couple of minutes, and he lost it. Nina wonders how Maxie might have viewed his reaction.

Monica is stumped as to why the back up generator didn’t kick in immediately. Everyone starts using their phone flashlights.

They rerun Elizabeth getting pushed down the stairs and I take a better look at the hands. Still think it’s Paul.

Claudette and Griff are also stuck in the dark in the locker room. She thinks it’s some kind of sign that he’s been in the dark since she left him, but he says maybe it’s a sign of how dark she is. He wants her to leave, but she says they have things to talk about. They have unfinished business that started when he kissed her.

The generator comes on and everyone scrambles to check on patients. Monica calls the chief engineer, asking him to execute emergency protocol.

Elizabeth is a mess, but she’s alive. Hayden finds her and she regains consciousness for a millisecond. This is not a good look.

Felicia says walking away from the situation would be the easy way out. Maxie says Nathan should be fighting for her. Felicia says maybe he is, but she’s been ignoring his calls and texts. Maxie says she’s not ready to talk to him yet and Felicia says she needs to decide what she wants. Maxie says to go back in time and tells her how Claudette refuses to go away. Felicia says she didn’t ask about Claudette.

Nathan says that Maxie must have thought he still cared about Claudette since he basically ignored her being there. Nina says Maxie felt insecure and inconsequential, and it’s awful to be odd man out. She says he’d better convince Maxie that he loves her before it can’t be fixed.

Griff tells Claudette that he didn’t kiss her (I dunno about that – if nothing else, he sure kissed back), and he’s either repentant or he’s not. Claudette insists he’s still in love with her. He puts her hand on his scar and says that’s what he feels when he sees her – a bullet tearing through his flesh.

Ava calls one of her cronies for a favor. She needs a passkey for the MetroCourt.

Monica has all ambulances diverted until things get straightened out. Finn and Andre tell her everything is fine with the patients.

Franco calls out for Elizabeth. Hayden tells him she’s on the landing. He asks Elizabeth what happened and she passes out before she can say anything, but we already know what the deduction is going to be. Another reason I think it’s Paul.

Nathan goes to the bar and sees Maxie. Felicia suddenly has to go. He sits down. He says Mac told him where she was, and Maxie calls him a traitor. She says she’s surprised he could think about her with all the space in his brain being taken up with Claudette. He says he does have feelings for Claudette.

Claudette says the bullet wound healed, but Griff hasn’t. She says he has to decide what he wants, the running theme today. She asks if he’s ever wondered why his superiors didn’t give him more of an argument about leaving the priesthood. She thinks they see what he doesn’t want to face, that he belongs with her, not the church. She says he’s not a failure, he’s human. He says when Claudette is given the choice, she consistently chooses selfishly without any consideration for anyone else. She says she could be better with him. He asks about Nathan and says she came there because she wanted something from him. She says she had trouble, but she can get through it with Griff. He tells her she needs to come clean and asks what trouble she’s in.

Andre tells Monica that the power whatever malfunctioned. It wasn’t an accident and was tampered with.

Um…it might behoove someone to get help for Elizabeth. Franco tells Hayden to get going and she sees Paul at the top of the stairs. I still say it’s him. Hayden might be a conniver, but she’s not a murderer.

Maxie tries to leave, but Nathan stops her. She asks Nathan if he loves Claudette and not her. He says he had to see himself through her eyes to understand what was going on. He says he blamed himself for what happened, wondering what he did to push Claudette away. He says he knows now that Claudette never loved him and there’s nothing he could have done. When he got angry it was just his demolished ego getting revenge and Maxie was right to stop him, since it’s all in the past. He’s free to move on with her.

Franco yells that Elizabeth needs a doctor and Hayden blows past Paul. Paul says he’s calling for help, but just stands there.

Andre says a bunch of wires were yanked loose. Hayden comes bursting in and tells Finn that she found Elizabeth on the stairwell and she needs help. Monica makes a call.

Griff asks what Claudette wants from him and what she needs from Nathan. Andre comes in and tells Griff about Elizabeth and says they need him.

Franco tells Elizabeth that her boys need her and so does he. He asks her to squeeze his hand if she can hear him, but nothing happens. He tells God that if she ends up okay, he’ll stop being an idiot. Instead of pretending to be the guy she needs, he’ll be that guy. Paul comes running down and asks Franco if Elizabeth and Hayden were together. Finn is right behind and checks Elizabeth out. Paul says he has questions for Hayden, but Finn calls for a neck brace and they both go up the stairs.

Ava lets herself into Paul’s room. She sees one of his ties and remembers seeing the cufflinks when he put the tie on. She flashes back to a liaison between the two of them where he said she didn’t know the first thing about him. In the present, she says she’s beginning to get an idea and looks for the cufflinks.

Griff checks Elizabeth’s vitals. He asks if Elizabeth can hear him. Finn runs back upstairs since the elevators may be out. Andre tells Franco they’re doing all they can

Paul asks Hayden if she found Elizabeth and she says yes, explaining that the elevators went out, so she took the stairs. He asks normal questions, but I read more into them. Monica tells Paul about the power junction being intentionally disabled. He tells Hayden not to leave the hospital. Hayden asks Finn if Elizabeth is going to be okay and Finn says it’s too early to tell, He asks what happened and what she’s holding back.

Felicia runs into Nina and introduces herself. They talk about Claudette showing up out of the blue. Felicia says she just wishes Nathan had been more forthcoming about his ex. Nina thinks he and Maxie will work things out, but Felicia says it remains to be seen.

Nathan asks Maxie if they still have a chance or has he ruined it. She says it sounds good, but she’s believed him before. He pulls out his old wedding ring. He kept it as a reminder of his stupidity and naivety, and hoped to get rid of it one day with no regrets or second thoughts. He throws it in the trash at the bar. I think. He threw it somewhere. He tells Maxie there’s no going back and she’s the only one for him.

Nina and Felicia have coffee. Nina tells Felicia that Nathan loves Maxie more than life itself, but Felicia wonders if he loves Claudette too. Nina says it’s a misunderstanding and he made a mistake, but Maxie has made mistakes too, and she thinks they’re good for each other. Felicia agrees. Nina says that selfishly she wants to believe they can make it work.

Maxie tells Nathan what his new ring should look like and says she loves him. She says they can make it work as long as Claudette is out of the picture. He swears she is. Claudette would be great on one of the reality shows, since she loves to show up where she’s not invited.

Felicia says she has faith they’ll work things out. Nina says Nathan never gave up on her, so he has tenacity. Both of their phones ring and they know it’s worked out. Nina says they’re going to in-laws. Claudette watches them.

Finn says Hayden was livid when she left and she says she’s always livid. Finn reminds her of what she said. Hayden says she was angry, but she wouldn’t really hurt Elizabeth. Elizabeth comes through on a gurney. Hayden asks Franco if she’s going to be okay and he says they both know Hayden would be better off if she was dead.

Ava can’t find anything. She checks behind the nightstand and find the drugs and syringes. I wonder how Paul is going to wiggle out of this one.

Monica is looking for one of the doctors in an isolated area. Paul comes up behind her with a syringe. At least he’s predictable.

Tomorrow, Elizabeth isn’t out of the woods, Hayden is in trouble, Ava gets a clue, and Julian is on the loose.

The Haves and The Have Nots

Benny is shocked that Candace mortgaged the house and tow yard. Lloyd shows him the paperwork and asks if it’s his signature. He says no. Lloyd says he didn’t think so, and they have a problem. Candace wants to talk about it later, but Lloyd won’t leave. Benny asks how much the loan was and Lloyd says $2 million. Lloyd says Candace has thrown the loan into default and could face prison time. He says she needs to have $2 million in their office by tomorrow, or he’s calling the Feds.

Lloyd says he’s sorry, but they need the money back. Candace asks for more time and he says she has until tomorrow. He says he gave her the loan in good faith and she forged a signature. Benny offers to sign the papers. Lloyd says too late, but Benny can sign over everything in his and Candace’s life and vacate immediately. They have until 5 pm the next day to decide. This is way past a rock and a hard place, although Benny could say he never told Lloyd it wasn’t his signature. Benny goes outside. Lloyd leaves. What a bastard that dude is.

Candace joins Benny outside. She tells him about meeting Jim as an escort, adding she was an escort to pay for school. She says she didn’t know he was Amanda’s father at first, but when she found out, she decided to blackmail him. Benny looks like he might cry. She tells him about Jim kidnapping her and threatening to kill her, and how once she got out, she returned the favor with War’s help and took compromising pictures. Then she extorted $7.5 million from him and used it to pay for everything. She probably should have stopped there. She says she told War she got $400k from Jim and gave him $150k. When Benny told him about the $4 million, he threatened to kill her if she didn’t give him half, so she did what she had to do. She says Mitch saw War force himself on her and set him up. She says War is in jail now and probably thinks it was her. He’ll come after her soon and might come after Benny.

She tells him about how Oscar marked her and once Benny leaves, she’s going to get the money back. She promises to make it right. Benny says she’s lying and that she always does. He says Hannah claims she lies when the truth will do. He tells her that War had their backs and that Mitch couldn’t possibly do something like that, since he ain’t from the streets. Geez, Benny must live in a serious bubble. He knows nothing about anybody and is very unobservant.

Hannah calls Benny and says she has a car. He tells her that Candace is going to let her have Quincy Jr. Hannah asks what he had to promise and he says, nothing. She asks him what’s wrong. he says he’s fine and to stay with the baby. He’ll give her a call when it’s clear. Candace asks him to move his car and Benny says she’s not going anywhere but the child welfare office to give Hannah custody. She goes inside to get her keys and purse. Man, and I thought I had a bad day.

Kathryn visits Jim in jail. She asks how he is and he says fine considering. She says her too, and he asks if she’s in jail somewhere. Well, in a way, yes. She says she went to see Wyatt and he’s going to be okay. She says they need to get his inheritance money back and asks if he knows a judge who can help them get control again. He tells her to try Margaret Preston. She says she did and no go. He says do it again and tells her to mention something about Christmas in the Hamptons in 2013. Kathryn says they’ll put Wyatt in rehab when he’s better. Jim says the DA would eat her young to get to him, and she’ll stand in the way of getting Wyatt help. Kathryn says okay, but Jim says he’s seen that look in her eye and asks what she’s going to do. She tells him she’s not like him and gets her hands dirty.

Erika pretends to have car trouble. David comes along and says he’d help, but doesn’t want to be cussed out again. He starts to walk away and she says she can’t believe he’s walking. She pretends that she doesn’t know where they met before and David reminds her. She says never mind, she can deal with the car herself, but David insists on helping. She tells him she’s a country girl from Raleigh. What a coincidence! That’s where he’s from. And they went to the same school! They flirt a little.

David says the lug nuts are rusty and thinks Erika needs to call a tow truck. Erika says let her try. He says if she forces it, she could break it off. He asks if she wants him to call a tow, but she has a meeting. He offers her a ride and she pretends like she doesn’t want to take a ride from a stranger. He talks her into it. I’m a little sad about David getting taken. I don’t like how he set up Candace, but he’s a good guy who’s in a bad situation.

Blake tells Jennifer that Benny and Candace are there and there’s a warrant out for Hannah kidnapping Quincy Jr. Jennifer calls to find out how Wyatt is doing. She asks when she can come and see him, and asks how his memory might be. She’s told it’s too early to tell. Benny and Candace come in to the office.

Jennifer introduces herself to Benny and she tells him about being called to testify in the hit and run case. Benny tells her about how the case against Hannah was a misunderstanding and they want Hannah to get custody. Jennifer asks Candace who the father is. When she finds out it’s Quincy, she says his sister is there. She’s said that Candace killed Quincy and she can’t find him. Candace says that’s something a crackhead would say. Jennifer checks Candace’s ID and says she’ll be right back.

Candace tells Benny they have to leave. Too late. Jennifer brings in Quita. Quita has a picture of Candace’s floor with the stuff Veronica put on it that shows where blood has been. Candace says it’s a pet stain from the previous owner. Benny interjects that they need the warrant taken off Hannah. Jennifer says she’ll help and takes Quita back out, despite her protests. Candace tells Benny again that they need to leave, but he says they’re not going anywhere.

In the car, Erika says she can tell David is married. He tells her he’s going through a divorce. She asks why every man who meets a pretty girl is going through a divorce. He says she’s beautiful and he really is going through a divorce. She says it’s just a ride anyway. He asks what she does and she asks what she does. He says he’s a judge and she says she’s a glorified accountant who usually works out of Atlanta. She laughs and tells him he’s not very good at flirting. He says he’s just helping a lady in distress get to a meeting. Erika says he should probably start thinking like a free man. She asks how long he was married and when he tells her 27 years, she says almost as long as Mandela was locked up. She suggests he not be so rigid and have some fun.

They get to Erika’s destination. David thanks her for the advice and she thanks him for the ride. He asks if she needs a ride back after the meeting. She tells him she’s out at three. He says he’ll be right there and if she accepts the ride, he’ll see her then. He asks for her name and she tells him how rusty he is and leaves the car without giving him her name. She’s good.

Jennifer gets the warrant lifted. Benny thanks her and Candace asks if they can go. Jennifer says sure. When they’re gone, she tells Blane to talk to the neighbors and when he gets something, she’ll get a warrant out for Candace’s arrest.

At the office, Oscar tells David he’s leaving and he knows where to find him. David tells him there’s a young lady he’d like Oscar to check out. Then he waffles, saying he’s just paranoid. Oscar says being paranoid is his gut telling him something is wrong. He tells him about overhearing the argument Erika had in the bar. Oscar wonders if they wanted him to hear it. David doesn’t think so, and tells Oscar about their exchange in the bar. Oscar says sounds good so far, and David tells him about the flat tire. Oscar says that’s a red flag. David tells him about the ride and gives him the name of the company, but says he doesn’t know her name. Oscar says it’s interesting, it sounds legit, but he doubts it. He says he can’t run anything without a name. David tells Oscar to let him know if he leaves town and they part company.

Blake knocks on Pearl’s door and she asks him if he’s there about the odor from Candace’s backyard. She says her son thinks she’s crazy, but she saw a man go into the house and he never came out. She says she has it on camera and Candace is a “tawdry young thing.” She asks if he’d like to see it, and tells him that Candace’s mother told her the guy is Quincy Maxwell. The other detective goes inside and Blake calls Jennifer, telling her what Pearl said and to get the search warrant ready.

Hannah gives Quincy Jr. ice cream at Kathryn’s house. She introduces him to Kathryn who says he’s a cute little thing and Quincy Jr. tells her she’s not so bad herself. Hannah tells Kathryn about the warrant being called off and that Candace is going to let her keep Quincy Jr. Kathryn says seeing Wyatt in the hospital, and then she can’t finish. The phone rings.

It’s Lloyd. Kathryn says she just left Judge Preston’s office and she’s sending him a document to release the rest of Wyatt’s inferitance to them. After she hangs up, she takes out a little safe and opens it with a combination. There’s a gun inside.

Justin calls Jeffrey. He asks if there’s something Jeffrey needs to tell him and that they’re about to search Candace’s house. He says tell him now if there’s anything he needs to know. Jeffrey acts ignorant, but Justin says if Jeffrey isn’t honest with him, he won’t be able to help him.

Next time, the grand finale, Veronica attacks Quita, Jim tells Kathryn to let him handle the clean up, David goes on a date with Erika, and Kathryn threatens Veronica.

August 29, 2016 – GH’s Killer is Revealed & in the OC, Rifts are Healed

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Lulu is on the phone with someone in regard to the compound explosion. At the end of the conversation, she says she doesn’t believe they really wish they could help her at all and she sounds just like me. I hate when I hear that stuff, or even worse, the old “I understand.” No, you don’t.

Ava gives Hayden a heads up about the diamonds. She doesn’t know what Elizabeth’s plans were, but she thinks the Feds might have them.

Heather digresses, but Franco wants the Jeff Webber story. She says she can tell him the source of the money, but not the why or where, since she made a promise. She says she needs her leverage back to scare Naomi into making payments again. Franco thinks there’s a way for her to keep her promise and still tell him.

Elizabeth tells Finn what’s going on with the diamonds, but he’s disappointed because he’d thought she had a lead on the murders when he heard her say she was calling the cops. She says she wishes, since everyone is on edge, looking over their shoulders, and filing complaints against everything. Finn says that has to stop and then goes over to Monica, telling her that he wants to file a complaint.

Andre visits Jordan at work, bringing her a collectible currency book, thinking it might help her with the cuff-link. She thinks it’s a touching gesture, but also thinks they’ve exhausted the internet. He says what’s important to her is important to him. She asks why he’d have a book like that, and he says he’s a secret nerd. She wonders if he has a Star Wars man cave, but he can’t confirm or deny.

Robert visits Lulu. He tells her that Luke is definitely alive and said he hadn’t been on Cassadine Island “since before the witch breathed her last breath.” Lulu says she thought as much, but it’s a huge relief to have that confirmed. Lulu talks about how Luke went through a lot of changes and needed to go find out who he is now. She doesn’t like it, but accepts it and loves him for who he is. Robert says she and Robin should form a club, since he got the same speech from her. Lulu asks if there was any further message from Luke, and Robert says Luke wanted to warn her about Valentin.

Dante says the warning came late. Robert says he heard about what happened and he’s sorry about Nicholas. He says he’d never heard of Valentin, but now he’s on Interpol’s radar and his files with the WSB have been pulled. Lulu says he’s supposedly the Cassadine all other Cassadines fear. Dante says Valentin’s beef is with his own family and he said he has nothing against the Spencers. Robert says maybe, but Luke thinks he’s dangerous. He and Dante are both going to investigate. Lulu asks if Robert thinks something could have survived the compound explosion.

Franco tells Heather that they can play a getting warmer type game; she can tell him if what he says is possible or not. The result: She was obsessed with Jeff and stalked him after he left Port Charles (or as she puts it, just checking up on him without him knowing). She says he was cheating on his second wife and had a secret relationship with Naomi.

Hayden tells Ava she has to leave town. Ava says to take a bus since there’s less scrutiny. Hayden wonders why the authorities haven’t come for her, and deduces that Elizabeth hasn’t turned the diamonds over. When Ava adds “yet,” Hayden says yet is good and that means there’s still time. She leaves to convince Elizabeth not to do it or stop her.

Monica tells Finn that Dr. Obrecht demanded he be fired. She told Obrecht that where her staff goes and how they get there is none of the hospital’s business, and that she’s bordering on harassment. She suggests Finn drop it though, because it’s not exactly like he’s been forthcoming. She’s going to let it slide for now. She tells Finn that Obrecht has a personal vendetta against him (like he doesn’t know) and is disappointed he’s not the killer.

A code blue alarm sounds. It’s a patient Andre came to see. By the time the other staff members get there, Andre is doing CPR.

Robert says Lulu would know more than him about the explosion, since she was there. She says they didn’t stick around to go through the rubble and she might have left something behind. She explains how Stavros took her embryo for his own purposes, and wonders if it could have survived.

Ava gets called into the police department. Jordan wants to talk to her about a murder and she flashes back to Paul threatening her with the flash drive. Ava says the DA is always coming up with ways to harass her. Jordan says she’s not a person of interest, but her expertise might help with a case, since she’s an art dealer. She shows Ava the coin picture and asks if it looks familiar. Ava says actually, it does.

The patient flatlines. Monica asks what happened. Andre says he was talking with the patient and he seemed fine, but suddenly grabbed his chest, said it hurt, and that was it. Monica sends Elizabeth to get the police. Andre says no one came in and killed him, and asks if she’s implying he had something to do with it. Geez, it’s not like she accused him of anything. Way to make yourself look guilty.

Heather tells Franco that she felt obligated to step in. She went through Naomi’s place and found a positive pregnancy test in the trash can. Naomi was pregnant with Jeff’s baby. Franco asks if Naomi is Elizabeth’s mother. She says Jeff had three girls and doesn’t know about the third. Hayden is Elizabeth’s sister. I KNEW IT!

Lulu explains what happened with the embryo to Robert. She says it’s a long shot, but if the embryo is viable, it’s her last chance at a child that’s biologically her and Dante’s.

Paul comes to the hospital. Andre says a patient had a heart attack and he’s being blamed. Paul asks Monica if he should rule out natural causes. Well, I don’t think she’d get him involved if that wasn’t the case. Monica asks permission to draw blood for testing and Paul asks Andre to stick around .Andre says not without a lawyer, and he’s calling Jordan.

Ava tells Jordan that the coins were really popular a while back. She says a man who wears them likes to show off and present himself as having power. And she’s sure she’s seen someone wearing them.

Hayden approaches Elizabeth and asks if there’s anything she has to tell her. Elizabeth says no, and Hayden tells her that she knows about the diamonds and to hand them over.

Franco is like wha-a-at, Elizabeth and Hayden are sisters? Heather says she waited for Naomi and told her she knew all about the affair. Naomi begged her not to say anything, so she kept her silence for a large amount of money. Naomi was never to see Jeff again and to pay Heather every month. Heather adds that she met someone who told her how to invest it, which is a story for another time. Franco wants to tell Elizabeth immediately and Heather says, no you don’t.

Finn tells Andre that if he doesn’t protect his own rights, no one will. Paul tells Finn to move along and tells Andre that if he’s really innocent, he should cooperate.

Elizabeth tells Hayden that the diamonds don’t belong to her. Hayden says Elizabeth is a hypocrite, who lied to Jason, keeping his family from him, and who conspired with Nicholas, culminating in Hayden getting shot. She adds that Nicholas would be alive if it wasn’t for her. Elizabeth says that she’s not the one who stole the diamonds and hid them. She says too bad they don’t have family cells so Hayden could be locked up with her father. Hayden slaps her and Finn makes an oooh face.

Heather says Franco should think twice, especially since he squandered the last bunch of money she gave him. He says he has to be honest with Elizabeth. Heather keeps saying, “Don’t,” as he walks out.

Finn steps in. Elizabeth wants to tell him what happened and he says he doesn’t care; he just wants it to stop. Finn tells Elizabeth that Monica needs to see her. When she leaves, Hayden tells Finn he made it clear there’s no friendship between them, so leave her alone.

Both Ava and Jordan have the same feeling of recognition. Jordan wonders if the killer is close by.

Elizabeth sees Paul alone in Monica’s office, messing around her desk. He says he was looking for a pen and will tell Monica that she stopped by. When she leaves, it’s revealed that Paul is wearing a surgical glove on one of his hands and is holding a syringe. I think we all knew the second she saw him, but now my mind is trying to go back over where he was when each person was killed. It actually crossed my mind that it was him when he showed up at the hospital so fast, but all of them seem to have Star Trek transporters, so I discarded that as evidence.

Lulu asks Robert if the WSB inventoried the wreckage and if he could check for a thermos or other cold storage container. He says he’ll pull the records. He gets up to leave, saying he’s sorry about Nicholas, but despite all Lulu and Dante have been through, they seem to have it together. Lulu says even if they never have another baby, they have a lot to be grateful for. Robert leaves and Dante says no matter what, he’s with her all the way, but he looks like something is disturbing him.

Franco gets to the hospital, but just misses Elizabeth.

Finn apologizes to Hayden, saying he was going through some stuff when he’d last talked to her. She says she has to catch Elizabeth to make sure she keeps her mouth shut.

Elizabeth skips the elevator and takes the stairs.

Jordan gives a copy of the picture to Ava and says to give her a call if Ava thinks of anything. In the hallway, Ava realizes it’s Paul’s cuff-link and says OMG.

Uh-oh. Paul is sure Elizabeth saw something and goes after her.

Monica says there was no murderous drug in the patient’s system. Andre says he doesn’t appreciate being a suspect and Finn says he understands that. Monica says the last thing they need is another murder at the hospital.

Suddenly, the power goes out in the hospital. In the stairwell, Elizabeth uses the flashlight on her phone. Two hands come from behind and push her down the stairs. No doubt Hayden will be a suspect, but I vote for Paul since he had a head start.

Tomorrow, Nina asks Nathan if he still loves Claudette, Franco looks for Elizabeth, and the source of the power outage is found.

The Real Housewives of the OC

Shannon is still “in a cloud” over the birthday party/vow renewal. The family is having breakfast at the hotel, and then Shannon and David are going to Cabo for a second honeymoon.

Vicki has rented the Merv Griffin estate in Palm Springs for her birthday weekend. Tamra is unsure as to who Merv is. Kelly has no clue who he is, but hopes he’s single. Well, that’s up for debate since he’s dead.

Meghan and Jimmy are going to be in the vicinity of Vicki’s party and Meghan has decided to make an appearance. Meghan tells Jimmy it’s time to move on from the feud. Thank God. Heather is doing something with her kids and isn’t coming, but I think she’s not coming because Kelly will be there.

Vicki talks about dating, and in her interview, Tamra suggests she find someone who has a job, good teeth and doesn’t lie about having cancer. Sounds reasonable. Tamra discusses Vicki’s dating life with Briana. Briana is glad her mom is playing the field because she’s never been single. She says everyone should have their “slutty years,” but she just doesn’t want to hear about it. In the kitchen, Vicki tells Kelly that she’s surprising Briana with Ryan tonight.

Vicki tells Kelly that Meghan wasn’t sure if she could make it, but Shannon is going to Cabo. Vicki says Shannon wouldn’t have come anyway and she’s disappointed that Shannon wants to throw away their friendship. Me too. Vicki isn’t stupid and I honestly think she knew in her heart that Brooks was a liar, but talked herself into believing him. And really, she hurt herself more than anyone else, so what’s the big deal? Tamra tells Kelly and Vicki about Shannon’s surprise party. In her interview, Vicki says she wishes them the best, but it didn’t work for her and Don. We flash back to their vow renewal. She thinks David is going to pay for the affair for the rest of his life. I dunno. If anyone can make a second go of it, it’s those two.

Heather and Terry are having a date night. She says they’ve been doing a lot of work projects together, but it’s nice to have some personal time. Terry says their daughter, Max, has been sending him photos of empty chairs since he hasn’t been able to make her events. It’s the empty dad chair. Terry admits she’s right that he’s been absent. Heather says they’re going in the wrong direction, but the next direction is up to him. He claims that he’s in a situation now where he can be free on weekends and have dinner at home. Heather says she’ll believe it when she sees it.

Kelly asks if Heather is okay with her or hates her. Vicki says hate is a strong word and Tamra says she wouldn’t call Heather mad. So what’s the deal if it’s neither? Kelly thinks Heather acts like she’s better than everyone else. She talks about Heather asking her to leave the party when it wasn’t her party. In her interview, Tamra says she wants to like Kelly, and she is likable, but sometimes she doesn’t think before she speaks.
Heather tells Terry about the apology text that Kelly sent and he rolls his eyes. Heather says she appreciates it, but Tamra said Kelly made fun of her after she left the party. Let me touch on a few points here. Nice of Tamra to do that, but no surprise. When Kelly made fun of Heather, it was directly after their altercation, so no doubt her emotions (and drunkenness) were still high. I’m not making excuses for her – and no woman should ever call another woman the c-word – but I’m just sayin’.

Kelly tells Tamra that she got no reply to her text. Tamra says it has to be more than a text and maybe they should go to lunch. Good luck with that. We know how the lunch with Shannon went. Tamra is having an event for Eddie’s birthday, but is hesitant to invite Kelly, especially since there will be kids around.

The ladies sit down to dinner. Vicki says they’re celebrating Briana’s birthday too. Briana talks about how much she misses Ryan and how he has to get written permission to leave the state, since he’s in the military. Kelly gives both Vicki and Meghan gifts. Tamra has something for Vicki, and she’s like thanks a lot for not telling me it was also Briana’s birthday. The gifts are opened and Vicki tells everyone how much she loves celebrating her birthday. Her son, Mike, shows up and they discuss real estate. She takes him on a tour of the place. Briana’s kids beat him with a pool noodle.

Ryan arrives and Briana starts crying. She’s thrilled that Vicki was able to make it happen. Vicki says the gift of family is the best gift anyone can give. Let me add that cash is good too.

Meanwhile in Cabo, Shannon and David are keeping a video diary of their second honeymoon. We flash back to the last time they were in Mexico. It wasn’t good. In her interview, Shannon says fighting for her marriage was the best thing she ever did. I don’t always agree with Shannon’s choices, but my hat’s off to her with this one. I’m really rooting for them.

Tamra talks to Vicki about inviting Kelly to Eddie’s birthday. She says every time Kelly is around, there’s a scene, and Heather is concerned about bringing her children. In her interview, Vicki wonders how Heather made this about herself. She says Kelly is a mother and understands how to act around children. Kelly comes in and Vicki repeats what Tamra told her.

Commercial break. The original Below Deck is back Tuesday, September 6 at 9 p.m. I have to admit to a TV crush on Captain Lee and couldn’t be more pleased. I must not be the only one, since one of the ads focuses totally on him.

Tamra calls Heather from one of the bedrooms. She tells Heather that Kelly said her beef was with Shannon, not Heather, and was annoyed that Heather told her to leave the party. Heather tells her about the text and Tamra asks why she didn’t respond. Heather mentions Kelly making fun of her and in her interview, Tamra says she still needs to work on her big mouth. Yep. She suggests the three of them go to lunch, but Heather is hesitant. Heather finally tells Tamra she’ll go, but it’s on her, since she doesn’t think she did anything wrong. In her interview, Tamra says being a peacemaker blows and it’s a hard job. Often being the diplomat of the group myself, I agree.

Outside, Kelly talks about what happened at Meghan’s party and how she thinks Heather is overreacting. Tamra joins them and they decide to hang out by the pool. Vicki brings up a time when she and Tamra did too many fireballs and ended up in the pool with their shoes on. They decide to initiate Kelly by pulling her in fully clothed. Then they join her.
Meghan arrives. She comes bearing gifts for Vicki and asks why the three of them are in the pool with their clothes on. Meghan thinks she’s pregnant, and shows them her bump. Since I can see her hip bones framing it, it’s pretty easy to tell. She thanks Vicki for inviting her and Vicki thanks her for letting bygones be bygones.

Back in Cabo, Shannon says the vow renewal and second honeymoon have made her ecstatic, because David did something she didn’t think was possible. They talk about getting naked and I go ♫ la-la-la ♫!

Heather, Tamra and Kelly meet at a Laguna Beach restaurant for dinner. Heather doesn’t really want to be there, but is doing it out of respect for Tamra. Kelly arrives after the other two. Tamra is concerned about being blamed if the dinner goes horribly wrong. Heather breaks the ice by saying she and Kelly had been getting along really well, but the sushi dinner was full of anger and vulgarity. Kelly says she’s ashamed of herself. In her interview, Heather says Kelly has acted unacceptably on a couple of occasions and she has no guarantee that it won’t happen again. Heather brings up Kelly making fun of her after she left, and Kelly says she did it because Heather told her to leave. Heather says she told everyone to leave, but that didn’t happen. Heather says once the c-word is called out, all bets are off. Kelly apologizes again, but adds that Vicki told her that Heather didn’t want her around her children. Heather says she didn’t say that, but that did happen. We flash back to prove both these points. Hmm…seems like Heather has a tendency to make it up as she goes along.

Tamra says the last thing they want is another freak out to happen around children. Kelly says that’s not the way she acts around kids, and that she’d had too much to drink and was emotional. She says her integrity was being attacked, and it hit a nerve. Tamra says both times they’ve seen her in a group setting, it wasn’t good, but does understand how she felt set up at Shannon’s 70s party. Kelly starts to cry. In her interview, she says she feels like she’s treading water and drowning. In her interview, Heather says she believes Kelly’s tears are real, but she can’t forget what happened. For Tamra and the party’s sake she hopes Kelly is telling the truth.

Next time, the pregnancy test results are in, Shannon’s house goes into escrow for real. Eddie’s birthday happens, and so does a dune buggy accident on the beach.

Suggestion: If you’re not watching Too Close to Home, you’re missing out. This latest Tyler Perry venture into nighttime drama isn’t on the OWN network this time, but he’s branching out to TLC. It’s got everything an after dark soap should have, with a compelling storyline and characters you can invest in. And Heather Locklear. I got reeled in immediately.

August 28, 2016 – NJ Wives Go to the Spa & the Feared Dead Go to a Hotel

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Everyone is getting ready for the Crystal Springs spa trip. Dolores wonders why Melissa needs 47 bags for a weekend. So do I. Teresa asks Melissa and Dolores if they’ve talked to Jacqueline. Melissa says she has, but kind of blows off the question. In another car, Jacqueline says they should all be able to play in the same sandbox. In her interview, she says if Teresa doesn’t play nice, she’ll bury her. Not too defensive. Siggy thinks it all comes from insecurity and that Jacqueline is upset because Teresa isn’t as invested in the friendship as she is.

Teresa brings up Jacqueline’s remark about her federal offense. I don’t blame her for thinking that it was a low blow. I think that’s about all Jacqueline is capable of.

Crystal Springs looks amazing and we haven’t even gotten in the door. A butler greets them on the porch with champagne. Everyone claims their rooms. At least Ramona isn’t here. Jacqueline and Siggy arrive after the others and Jacqueline ignores Teresa. Because she’s such a grown up like she said she was. Siggy won’t let this happen and makes Jacqueline say hello to Teresa. Time stops.

In the meantime, Joe #2 is perplexed as to how to feed his kids. He struggles to make some chicken nuggets, wondering how they cook so fast. He’s appreciating Melissa to no end right now. Chris calls as Joe attempts to make some fish. Chris suggests they get together later. At least the popcorn is a success.

It’s dinner time at Crystal Springs. Everyone toasts to friendship and new beginnings. Good luck with that.

The girls discuss different trips they’ve been on. Jacqueline warms up a little when Teresa talks about the trip they went on to Italy. Dolores thinks maybe they just needed to get out of their environment. Jacqueline talks about the new company Chris is starting and how much it costs to raise a child with autism. Siggy says everyone has gone through hardships and talks about living with her parents after her divorce. She says when you’re down, you find out who your true friends are. Melissa talks about not even being able to afford diapers at one point. Teresa tell the group about how so many people thought she should leave Joe #1, but she loves him. Siggy says they’re all survivors at the end of the day, and they toast to that.

Next they go to the fire and water deck, whatever that is. They sit around a fire pit, drinking wine and making s’mores. They discuss when they had their first children, and Jacqueline brings up going ring shopping with her future son-in-law, Pete. Melissa is bummed about missing things with the kids while she’s dealing with her new business. She says when her father passed away, it was devastating for her mother because she’d never worked, and you never know what’s going to happen. Teresa talks about missing the kids when she was in prison camp. Jacqueline gets weepy about it and Teresa invites her and Chris to her book party.

The ladies don their pajamas. Teresa FaceTimes with Joe #1, and she and Jacqueline pretend there’s a big fight going on and Teresa tells him to come and pick her up. Then Jacqueline gives him a cleavage shot. What a couple of comediennes! In her interview, Dolores thinks if they can stay away from discussing the past issues, they’ll be okay. They move on to play wine pong. Tipsy silliness ensues.

Chris plays with his kids. Zzzzz…..

Melissa is the only one who wakes up in full makeup. A chef has arrived to cook a fabulous breakfast. The ladies talk about their kids again. Jacqueline leaves the table and is crying in the bathroom. OMG – they’ve run out of coffee. I’d cry too. Siggy talks to Jacqueline, who is upset because her proud mommy moments are very different from the other women’s. Siggy tells her that Nicholas doesn’t know any different, so it’s not like he’s comparing himself to the other kids. The girls gather around to give support. Melissa says you can’t always be a rock.

Teresa privately tells Dolores that maybe when Jacqueline snapped at her, she was just reacting to how much she has on her plate. Jacqueline is happy about Teresa being supportive. The ladies hang out by the pool on lounge chairs. Melissa talks to Dolores about her relationship with Teresa. In her interview, she says Joe #2 is happy with how things are, so she’s picking her battles. Jacqueline is aware that she and Teresa are being talked about and asks if they’d like to share it with the rest of the class. Dolores asks what they’re talking about, and Jacqueline says they’re talking about what she and Melissa are talking about.

Jacqueline and Teresa go for some spa treatments. Jacqueline talks about getting Nicholas involved with more children. Teresa says Milania loves him and to call her whenever she’s having a bad day. Jacqueline apologizes for saying stupid stuff. Outside, Siggy says she wishes that Jacqueline could see how much Teresa has changed, but Melissa says Jacqueline needs more proof.

The girls are making dinner. Melissa asks Teresa how things are going with Jacqueline. Teresa tells her about Jacqueline’s apology. They grill some steaks and everyone pitches in with the meal.

Chris and Joe #1 go out to eat at Reno’s restaurant. Reno sits with them and Joe talks about how Teresa’s lost weight and has a smaller behind now. He says once he leaves, it will probably be emotional, but there’s nothing he can do about anything, and his main concern is his family’s safety. He’s gotten a German Shepherd that he’s having trained.

The meal the girls have made looks freaking amazing. Everyone is thrilled about how well Jacqueline and Teresa are getting along. Jacqueline talks about how when she gets mad, she says ugly things. Siggy explains that sometimes the two of them just aren’t coming from the same place and it creates a communication problem. Everyone gets goofy during dessert. Teresa sits on some chocolate and much fun is made of the brown mess on the back of her pants.

Jacqueline calls out Melissa and Dolores for talking about her and Teresa at the pool. In her interview, Melissa says Jacqueline’s paranoia is coming into play, because she and Dolores weren’t discussing them. But they were. Teresa says Jacqueline needs to relax and Jacqueline agrees that she thinks too much.

Teresa teaches the girls some yoga. Teresa talks about yoga stimulating going to the bathroom and how you’re encouraged to pass gas. Then she has to explain what queve is. I’m not going to. Look it up. She ends the class with, “Namaste, bitches,” Dina’s old tagline.

Next time, it looks like Dolores might have had to put Boo to sleep 😟, Rosie misses everyone, and Teresa has a book party.

Fear the Walking Dead

Nick wakes up in the La Colonia infirmary. He walks out into the street and wanders around the town. There isn’t another soul to be seen. He sees a little girl crying. He goes to her and looks out to the townspeople saying good-by to one of the men who is about to walk out into a group of zombies. It’s the girl’s father.

The people chant some nonsense in Spanish as the guy walks through a bus to the zombies outside. (I find out later that they’re saying, “From death we come, and to death we deliver ourselves.”) Um…that chanting isn’t going to help anything. Nick moves the girl so she can’t see. No big shock, the man is attacked and eaten. Good job, folks. What did you think was gong to happen? Nick is appalled.

Madison and the others are out driving around looking for Nick and Travis. It’s been two days since they left. Alicia wants to go back. Victor says they’re riding on fumes and should go back to the boat. Madison goes back to the truck.

Nick wanders through the now active marketplace. A lady calls him over. Alejandro tends to one of the men who believes he’s not long for this world.

Uh-oh. The boat’s gone. Victor thinks the military was waiting for them to land and took it. Ofelia suggests they walk into the sea, but Alicia thinks finding shelter in a nearby hotel is a better idea. Alicia tells Madison that it’s the two of them now, whether she likes it or not. A message is left on the beach: Abigail Lost Head North.

The group checks out the hotel. They don’t see anything moving. Even though there might be something unsavory awaiting them inside, they figure better inside than outside. They approach, Victor breaks the front door lock, and they go inside. Alicia wonders where the person who locked up is now. Victor hits the desk bell and Madison asks if he’s out of his mind. He tells her the service stinks there.

Luci tells Nick they have work to do. He follows her. She brings Nick through the bus, fights off some zombies and pins one to a wall. She tells Nick to stay quiet. They put zombie blood on themselves. Nick asks why him and she says no one will miss him.

The group wanders through the hotel. The banquet room has been set up for a wedding. Ofelia says she almost got married once and he was a good man. Victor says not that good, since it was almost. She says he was leaving for New Mexico and she needed to stay with her parents. Victor tells her not to dwell on the past.

Nick asks what was up with the thing that morning. Luci explains that they keep a wall of zombies outside the fence for protection and when one of them gets infected, they volunteer to be one of the wall to protect their people. He asks what if the guy just became lunch for no reason. She tells him he has no faith. She compares it to the ocean cleansing itself and says the dead are returning, and when they go, the world will be new. She tells him that Alejandro was bitten and she saw it happen, but he didn’t turn.

Victor and company continue through the hotel. Alicia wants to split up, but Madison doesn’t like it. Too bad, she goes off with Ofelia anyway. Victor tells Madison she needs and drink and so does he.

Luci takes Nick to see a gang from East Tijuana who deal with supplies. She tells him to keep his mouth shut, that they’ll hang you for looking at them wrong. She gives the guy at the door pharmaceuticals. They give her a cart and tell her to fill it. She says it used to be two, but the guy says it isn’t anymore. Just like the EpiPen!

Victor makes martinis and calls Madison a Southern belle. She tells him his martini is bullsh*t and to bring her the tequila. Ofelia and Alicia go through the rooms. They hear zombie noises from some of them. Alicia notices that someone put “do not disturb” signs on the rooms with the zombies in them. They go inside a safe room and grab some supplies. They find a zombie in a shower who tried to commit suicide, but just got hung up on the shower-head. Alicia puts a do not disturb sign on the door as they leave.

Luci tells Nick to get whatever they can use for the infirmary. He wants to add a package of snack cakes, but that’s a no. No cakes for you. They get quite a few jugs of water as well.

Ofelia tells Alicia there’s still hot water. Alicia empties the mini-bar and asks Ofelia why the guy in the shower gave up. Ofelia says maybe he was tired of surviving. Alicia says you just push on. Ofelia says they’re not going to make it. She talks about her father being one step beyond hope. Alicia says it’s all they have and if they lose that, they’re dead. She tells Ofelia she’s family now.

Luci and Nick leave with the cart. One of the gang members knocks Nick to the ground. Nick has the cookies in his pocket. The guy hits Nick in the head with what looks like a billy club. Why on earth did Nick think he was slick enough to get away with that? On the other hand, technically, the crackers would have fit in the cart, so…

Commercial break. Please, spare me the car ads with Matthew McConaughey.

Gang dude says rats who steal get their paws cut off and prepares to chop off Nick’s hand. Luci translates as Nick threatens them with no more Oxy. He saw gang dude tending to his sick sister, and tells him if she’s without it for a week, he’ll hope she turns, because he’ll want to kill her. He says the gang needs Oxy and La Colonia has it. And if they want it, not only will he let Nick go, but the gang will give them another cart of water. Dude throws him down, but agrees. Nice negotiating, Nick! They could use you on The Walking Dead right about now.

When they leave the area, Luci is concerned about being followed. She says she’s never been followed, but she also never had a stupid gringo threaten them. Nick says sorry.

Madison and Victor talk over drinks. Victor talks about what might have happened had they met at another time. He says he’s a seducer of people who would have it on her and it would have been fun. He says now there’s no world to talk about; there’s not even a bar. Madison says Alicia is right. they’re never going to see Nick again. Victor says Nick is bullet proof and he’s alive. Madison says Nick was born lost, like his daddy. If you leave him alone, he heads toward death.

Victor asks how Nick’s father died. Madison says he was late coming home and went into oncoming traffic. Victor asks if he fell asleep at the wheel and she says that’s what she told the kids. She says she keeps trying to save the kids and they keep dying over and over. Travis stopped it for a while, but now he’s gone. Victor says we can only live with things, we can’t choose. Madison says she didn’t have to be a mother, but she chose to be. She’s getting a little drunk and throws her glass. Then she gets another glass and pours them another shot. They drink to false hope and she throws that glass too.

Victor goes over to the piano, but it’s all out of tune, which is totally appropriate. As he plays, we see zombies locked inside a shop trying to get out. All this noise is attracting their attention.

Alicia takes a shower. She calls to Ofelia that it’s her turn, but then can’t find her. She sees something fall from the roof. She looks over the side of the balcony and sees a couple of zombies take nose-dives off the balconies on the other side of the hotel. Zombies start falling from everywhere and Alicia runs calling for Ofelia. She opens a door to a stairwell and it’s crawling with zombies. I want to see more of the zombies taking headers. That was kind of cool. I do have to lodge a complaint here though. I realize I’m working with a huge suspension of disbelief, even accepting that there has been a zombie apocalypse at all. Cool as it was, these zombies were falling several stories and just getting up. Even if  they’re the undead, they would still have broken bones and not be able to walk away. Okay. I feel better now.

Nick and Luci make it back to La Colonia. Nick sees the little girl whose father went to the wall and gives her the cakes. Luci sees and realizes Nick isn’t the selfish dumbass she thought he was. Nick goes to see Alejandro. He says he heard Nick almost started a war. Nick says he thought the little girl needed something, some comfort, and there should be some things that are not about death. Alejandro says when they run out of cake and drugs, where will they turn? Nick says what good is faith when the water runs out? Alejandro says when the world is washed of death, the faithful will remain. He says they are the chosen who will outlast death. Nick sees the healed bite mark, and Alejandro tells him that he’s welcome to stay, but if he puts the people in danger again they’ll feed him to the wall.

Victor and Madison are getting really sloshed. Victor is banging on the out-of-tune piano and Madison is flinging glasses around. Victor looks out the floor to ceiling window and sees the zombies falling outside the widow and says they have to go now. Too late. Zombies are getting in everywhere.

Alejandro makes a speech to the people about the Lord and how life is a sigh between two deaths. He tells them the migration of the dead has begun. He says that the world is for them, the faithful, and death will not take them. The people start their chant and Nick joins them. Alejandro says as long as he lives, they’ll never leave.

This is interspersed with Victor and Madison fighting the zombies without conventional weapons, using liquor bottles and chairs. Holy! They’re surrounded.

Next time, Alicia shows what she’s made of, and Travis and Chris get involved with a new group of people who look pretty militant.