February 5, 2016 — Double the GH & Triple the Quote

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital — Thursday

A strange man comes up to Hayden, calling her Rachel. He says it’s been a while, but doesn’t she remember him? It’s Baxter Courtland. (Is he related to Palmer from All My Children?) Nicholas is back and says Baxter must be mistaken; his wife’s name isn’t Rachel.

At the bar, Dillon tells Valerie that when it comes to her and Lulu, he’s Switzerland. He says that doesn’t mean he’s a pushover though and wants a pool game rematch, since she trounced him the last time.

Morgan apologizes for kissing Kiki because he thinks he’s moving too fast. Kiki tells him to lighten up, it was no big deal, they got carried away in a romantic moment.

Jason tells Elizabeth that the doctors don’t anticipate any complications and that Jake is going to be fine. Elizabeth mentions that she knows what goes on behind the scenes. He says there’s no point in focusing on the things that can go wrong. Lucas tells them it looks good so far, but there’s still several hours to go, so they should go home to eat and rest. They say they’re not going anywhere.

Sam hears something and calls out that she’s in the basement. She goes back to sleep though and the cord to the heater is starting to smoke. And I don’t mean it decided to have a Marlboro.

Elizabeth tells Jason he doesn’t have to stay. He says they’re both Jake’s parents and he’s not leaving. She hasn’t eaten since yesterday, so Jason says he’ll go get some food.

Hayden says Baxter must have her confused with someone else. He says Vegas can be disconcerting and congratulates them on getting married. Nicholas wonders who the guy was, but Hayden distracts him with newlywed talk. She says he’s done so much for her, that she wants to do something for him.

Kiki and Morgan go back to Kiki’s place. He says they should go ice skating, but she says she’s a wrecking ball on skates. Me too. I spend more time on my butt than on the skates. She sees a note from Franco telling her he’s out with Nina and not to wait up.

Curtis interrupts Dillon and Valerie’s setting up the pool game. He says it’s his table, unless Valerie wants to play him. She says okay and Dillon goes to get drinks.

While Elizabeth peruses pictures on her phone, Cameron shows up at the hospital.

Curtis asks Valerie if he intimidates her. She breaks and Curtis can already tell she’s a pool shark.

Lulu comes into the bar and Dillon comes up to her. He asks if she wants to go somewhere else and she thinks he’s a nut, but he points out Valerie being there. Lulu says it’s a free world and they can both be there, and promises not to start a bar fight. Maxie comes in next and asks Lulu if she wants to go somewhere else. This is getting to be a habit.

Morgan and Kiki decide to just hang out. He asks if she wants to watch a movie, but she says she’s seen everything on cable. She says they’re home alone and what is there to do? They start to make out. That’s one way to pass the time. I guess Morgan is out of the friend zone.

Hayden wants to make it the most spectacular night Nicholas has ever known. Nicholas says they’ve set a high bar already. Hayden says she’s going to look for a special piece of lingerie to rock his world. I’ll bet she’s really going to hunt down Baxter. Yep.

She sees Baxter and tells him they need to talk.

Jason tells Sam to wake up. I think she’s dreaming unless he went all the way back to Elizabeth’s house to get food.

Kiki wants to take a break. She apologizes for making boundaries and then breaking them. Morgan says it might be a good time to renegotiate the boundaries. Kiki says she’s tempted, but doesn’t want to screw up what they have. Morgan agrees they should take it slow and asks if she wants to play a board game.

Hayden tells Baxter her name isn’t Rachel and they’ve never met. He says, see you around not Rachel. She says not likely and adds not to tell anyone he saw her there.

Dante and Nathan come into the bar, which is not the start of a joke. Curtis says he thinks he’s being hustled. Lulu tells Maxie they’re not going anywhere. Maxie says Valerie should have gone somewhere else. Lulu says they’re all grown-ups and they need to move forward. She says the only way to do that is to apologize to Valerie. Dillon suggests writing a letter, but she says she has to do it right now. She tells Valerie they need to talk.

Cameron gives Elizabeth something the kids at school made for Jake. She says it will be a while, but they can visit eventually. Jason is there, so I guess unless he has a doppelganger, Sam is hallucinating.

Dream Jason tells Sam she needs to get out of the basement. She says she can’t, and he says she can, just come to him.

Back with Nicholas, Hayden comes out in some lingerie he calls elegant. She says she wanted something outrageous, but realized they already did the most outrageous thing already, trusting each other enough to get married.

Morgan and Kiki play Scrabble. He asks if she wants to make it more interesting. He said it’s not what she’s thinking, strip Scrabble, but the loser has to tell the winner their most embarrassing moment. Kiki says it’s not that interesting since he’s been with her for her most embarrassing moments. He tells her he used to sleep with a stuffed rabbit when he was little and will tell her its name if she wins. She uses up her tiles with “exquisitely.” She asks what the bunny’s name was and he says he doesn’t like this game anymore. Hey, inquiring minds want to know now. She says she’ll make it up to thim and kisses him. So much for boundaries.

Maxie asks Nathan why he brought Dante to the bar. Because apparently there are no other watering holes in the world. She tries to get him to leave. He says it’s going to be awkward until it isn’t awkward. Very astute.

Valerie says they have nothing to talk about. Lulu says what she did was terrible and that she was thinking irrationally. She says she let everything get out of hand, and she’s extremely sorry. Valerie says it was brave of her to say and she sounds sincere, but Valerie doesn’t accept the apology. She says she carried a lot of guilt about Dante and told Lulu it was a mistake over and over, but it wasn’t enough. Lulu wanted to push Dante away and point fingers at Valerie. She says Lulu didn’t just almost cost her her job, but she almost lost her life. So family or no, she doesn’t forgive Lulu.

Cameron tells Jason that when Jake came back, he didn’t feel like his brother. Jason says it was hard for everyone to adjust, but Cameron did well. Cameron says he doesn’t feel that way any more, that he feels like Jake is his brother now, but what if he dies? Jason tells him everything will be fine.

Jason tells Sam to run to him and that he’s waiting for her. She manages to stand.
Nicholas and Hayden are honeymooning like nobody’s business. Does he really have all those tattoos?

Morgan says what about boundaries. Kiki says she changed her mind and wants to get down and get funky. I’m starting to think she’s bi-polar.

Maxie still wants to leave, but Dante says they’ll have to get used to it. She says they’re all crazy except Nathan, who is perfect.

Curtis tells Valerie she’s fantastic, being cool in the epicenter of drama. She says he deserves to hear the whole story.

Jason is about to call Sam, and Elizabeth comes back with some candy bars.

Dream Jason tells Sam to run to him. She says she does’t think she can, but does and then he disappears. She sees herself lying on the floor. Huh?

Lulu leaves and Dillon asks if she wants a ride home. She says she wants to be alone. He says he doesn’t think being alone is a good idea and she says she doesn’t want to talk. Dillon says he’ll be quiet on the walk then.

Curtis says that was a great story and I’m glad we didn’t have to sit through the whole thing again. Valerie says she wishes it wasn’t all true. He asks what’s up with her and Dante? She says they’re just friends and now she’s goig to beat Curtis at pool. Curtis says he feels badly that there’s no prize for Valerie to win, but he can take her to dinner. She says why not?

Maxie says Nina wants her to come in early, so she’s going to leave, but Dante gets the hint. He tells them to enjoy themselves and leaves.

Morgan stops the action between him and Kiki and says he can’t.

Nicholas and Harden are finished with the action. She says she loves him and he says, “I love you too, Rachel,” startling the crap out of me. He’s just fooling around and she says that Baxter was freaky. Nicholas calls her Princess Cassidine. Cool! And as much as I don’t like him, I want to marry him.

Baxter is calling someone and says they’ll never guess who he ran into in Vegas. I see he really adhered to “Rachel’s” request.

Jason tells Elizabeth that Jake woke up long enough to tell him that he loves his mom. Elizabeth says he deserves better since she’s in pity party mode. Elizabeth says if the positions were reversed, she could never forgive Sam. Lucas comes out and says there are complications with Jake’s surgery.

Tomorrow, Sam struggles to get up and Kiki calls Morgan an SOB.

In Between

I checked out the second half Bernie Madoff movie, as well as Bernie Madoff: After the Fall. I’m sure both are available On Demand and both are worth watching. The film contained eerily accurate portrayals of the real players in this sad-but-true drama. Richard Dreyfuss and Blythe Danner are exceptional as Bernie and his wife, Ruth, but really, everyone is excellent. The documentary that followed the film is important, as it gives the real life victims their say. It was sad to see how many of the people involved have died since then, both those behind the ponzi scheme and those ruined by their greed.

General Hspital — Friday

Franco and Nina are out at the bar (sigh). Franco says all the drama with Elizabeth and Jake is getting to him. Nina is trying to eat healthy for her impending pregnancy.

Christina sees Molly where else? Molly says she’s owed an explanation after Christina’s hysterical phone call asking her to meet Christina there.

Morgan jumps up and says he has to get to work. Kiki says hold on there a minute. She asks how he can do this and he can’t leave until he tells her the real reason he has to go. Yeah, nobody’s that anxious to get to work.

Nathan tells Elizabeth and Jake there’s a complication with Jake’s surgery.

Real Sam is back down on the floor again and the room is getting pretty smoky.

Nathan says Jake is fine. They found a secondary source of internal bleeding, but they were able to take care of it. Nathan tells them that Jake may need another surgery down the road, but for now he’s fine and in stable condition.

Molly and Christina sit down. Molly says she can tell Christina has more problems than just her grades, but she should consider telling Alexis. She says Alexis would do anything for them and is more understanding than Christina thinks. Christina asks Molly if she brought what Christina asked her to bring. It’s her diary. Molly asks who “P” is?

Morgan says nothing is wrong, he just has to go. Kiki calls him an SOB, and says she thought she could trust him, and now he sees he can get anything from her. Morgan says — ohhh, he keeps saying “it’s not working,” and she thinks he’s talking about their relationship, but he means he’s having ED. Aw, I don’t know whether to laugh or feel sorry for him. It could be the meds.

Commercial break. I don’t watch Grey’s Anatomy, but I wish I did. The ads always look really good, but I’ve never been able to squeeze it in. I did see an episode with Seth Green in it on a diner TV, but it was so depressing, it nearly put me off my Reuben sandwich.

Molly reads an excerpt from the diary. Christina says she can’t believe Molly invaded her privacy. She says it was a disaster and it’s over. Molly asks if that’s why she’s in trouble at school. Christina tells her yes, and Molly says it’s always some guy with her. Guess again.

Kiki wants to talk, but Morgan doesn’t. Kiki asks if it’s something she did and Morgan says no, she’s great. He doesn’t want to talk about it and Kiki says if he wants to make things work (this time meaning their relationship), they have to talk. Kiki says he’s probably putting too much pressure on himself, so they should just take a breather.

Nina wants to get the ball rolling with adopting a baby. She says the process takes a long time anyway. Franco says it’s going to take forever because no adoption agency will consider them.

Elizabeth talks to unconscious Jake, telling him she’s going to be a better mother from now on. Jason tells Sonny and Carly what’s going on. Sonny leaves and Carly and Jason talk about Jake’s surgery. Carly says he’ll be fine because he has Elizabeth and Jason to be strong for him. Jason looks skeptical about that.

Nina asks why. Franco says he wouldn’t make it past the door. Nina says she has good lawyers, but Franco says his misdeeds are well-documented. She says it’s also well-documented that he had a brain tumor. He says her background isn’t stellar, but she says that doesn’t mean she’ll be a bad mother. She says it’s obvious he’s making excuses, so she’ll do it on her own.

Molly says whoever “P” is, he’s got her messed up. She mentions how anxious Christina was to get the diary, when Molly could have mailed it. Christina says she doesn’t have an address and makes something up as to why.

Kiki tries to romance Morgan and he says it’s still not working. She says it happens and he says not to him, which is what men always say in a movie when this happens. He says it’s his meds.

Sonny is in the chapel lighting a candle. Another guy is in there, and starts talking to Sonny about how they’re there praying about things they can’t control.

Elizabeth sees Carly, and Carly tells her Sonny is praying in the chapel. Carly says she and Sonny are there for both of them. Jason is sitting next to Jake when he wakes up. Jake says he’s sorry. He says it was an accident and he didn’t mean to do it. When Jason says what, he says he didn’t mean to hurt her.

The smoke alarm goes off in the basement, but Sam doesn’t move.

Christina tells Molly it’s complicated and that there’s a wife in the background. Molly asks if he’s hot, and Christina talks about things like smoldering looks across the room. Molly says it’s too bad it didn’t work out. When Christina’s surprised she would support this kind of relationship, Molly says it’s easy to because it’s over. She tells Christina she can stay with her.

Dude asks if Sonny has always been in a wheelchair and Sonny says no, it’s new to him. Dude asks if Sonny is getting treatment at the hospital. Sonny says if dude is worried about it, that General Hospital is the best. He says that GH is the beating heart of this town and I almost tear up. Dude says thanks that was helpful. He drops a medal of St. Aloysius, the patron saint of youth and also plagues. Dude talks about the plague of AIDS.

Elizabeth blames herself and Carly tells her not to. Carly tells her she’s a great mother, a fantastic nurse and would sacrifice anything for her kids, and I almost get ill. Elizabeth says she’s got a lot to apologize for. Carly says they have a lifetime and she’s going to throw it in Elizabeth’s face every chance she gets, but not today. Nathan comes to get Elizabeth.

Jason is asking who got hurt, when Jake slips into unconsciousness again.

Sam comes to, but can only sit and look at the smoking outlet.

Nathan tells Jason and Elizabeth to go home and rest. He says Elizabeth would advise her patients the same and he needs them to have energy to deal with what’s to come. He says at least eat something. Jason says he’ll go find something and bring it back. I hope he’s going to Elizabeth’s house to find it.

Franco says Nina can’t adopt on her own because her career takes up so much time. Nina says if he won’t go along with it, she’ll set up a daycare at Crimson. He says oh yeah, for the baby she doesn’t have, and adds that her only chance of adopting is if she ditches him. She says she doesn’t want to do that, but she does want a baby. He asks what changed.

Morgan says the meds are ruining his life. Kiki says this is temporary and talk to the doctor about it. Morgan says why? So the doctor can give him more meds? He tells her it’s not the only side-effect and runs down a list. She says his mental health is important. He asks if he seems healthy. He says that his life has sucked since starting the pills and he just wants to get rid of them.

Nina says she’s always wanted a baby and something reawakened in her. Maybe she has more love to give. She says she thinks parenting is easier when not fighting extradition. Franco says he doesn’t want to do it. Nina says she has faith in the two of them, but she guesses he doesn’t.

Kiki says he’s not ditching his pills. Morgan asks if she likes him this way. She says their relationship is more than that and even if they had sex right now, the best part of the day would be cuddling at the skating rink. She tells him this is temporary. He says ah-ha! she does care about it. Kiki says that sex is a bonus, but she cares about all of him and she would be okay without it. He says he wouldn’t and that he can’t handle this right now and leaves.

Sonny tells Dude, whose name I just looked up on google and it’s Griffin, that he lost someone in 1995, before the medical advances. He tells Griffin he doesn’t want to keep him and Griffin says best of luck and leaves, almost running into Carly who’s coming in. She asks Sonny who that was. He says they didn’t exchange names, but he seemed like a friend.

Lucas recognizes Griffin from med school. He tells Nathan thanks for the heads up on the job opening. He’s going to be the new neurosurgeon.

Jason walks into the bar talking to Alice on his phone. Sam never picked up Danny. He sees Christina and Molly and asks if they’ve seen her. They says they haven’t seen her since yesterday, and it’s not like her not to show up. He asks where they saw her, and they tell him she was on her way to Elizabeth’s.

Sam is choking on the smoke now. She tries to reach the plug.

Kiki leaves Morgan a voicemail that she doesn’t like the way they left things. She wants to talk and she wants a second date.

Morgan’s phone alarm goes off to take his meds. He thows them away.

Nina and Franco come home. Franco asks Kiki how the date went. She says it’s complicated and she has to go. Franco says see what a great surrogate parent he is? He tells Nina since they’ve been together, they’ve either been on the run or had some other problem, and maybe they should take a break before responsible for a tiny human being. He says they’ll know it’s time when they know and should enjoy their alone time. They start to get romantic when her phone rings. Then his phone rings and he says rain-check.

Morgan goes to the bar and tells the bartender to set him up. He sees Christina and Molly. Christina says she thought he wasn’t supposed to drink. He says he thought Christina was supposed to be in school. Molly reminds him of the pact they made New Year’s Eve. Morgan says I won’t tell if you don’t.

Nathan tells Griffin that General Hospital is a great place. Nathan gives him some charts. Sonny’s is at the top.

Jake wakes up yelling that he’s sorry. Ekizabeth asks him for what. He says he told his dad, but he didn’t think Jason believed him. Elizabeth asks him again what he did and Jake says, “I killed her.”

Sam tries to pull the plug out. It sparks and she passes out again. Jason comes in the door, hears the smoke alarm.

Tomorrow, Paul is getting suspicious of Anna, Michael is headed for Puerto Rico since he can’t take a hint and Jason calls out to Sam.

Quotes from The People’s Couch

This is a recipe for disaster. Princella, referring to Stassi moving in with Kristen on Vanderpump Rules.

The person who left the dog alive didn’t think the dog was gonna snitch, but he did. Princella, referring to The People Vs. O.J. Simpson.

The fashion here is almost as big a crime. Emerson, referring to The People Vs. O.J. Simpson.

February 3, 2016 — GH & Lotsa Little Women

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Scotty shows up to Franco’s with cheesesteaks. I love these two together! Scotty says since Franco hasn’t caused any problems or been arrested lately, it’s cause for celebration. Franco says he does’t feel like celebratig bcause of Jake. Scotty congratulates him on caring about a kid rather than abducting one. Ha-ha! Nina comes home.

Kiki asks if Ava had a miracle cure and says avery is fine. ava says she didnt ask how she is but where she is. Kiki says she’s with her father.

Sonny is playing with Avery, who looks pretty darn big all of a sudden. Carly comes in and asks if Ava knows Avery is there. Sonny says what Ava doesn’t know won’t hurt her.

Laura is calling Nicholas. She gets voicemail and says she hopes he’s not doig what she thinks he’s doing. Tracy is eavesdropping with a huge smile.

Hayden and Nicholas are in Las Vegas at the Camelot Chapel. They’re going to be the 45,678th wedding there and they’re wearing crowns designed after the Burger King crown. Nicholas says Hayden needs to agree to something before they get married.

Scotty leaves. Nina and Franco are going to have “crazy mind-blowing sex.” Nina says she wishes she could get pregnant.

Carly asks Sonny what he’s going to do when Ava finds out because she will. He says he has a list of things, whatever that means.

Ava asks Kiki if this is a joke. Morgan says it’s no joke and the only reason Ava has custody is because Ava tricked Sonny into threatening her. Kiki asks why Ava faked being sick. Ava asks why Kiki deliberately defied her. Kiki says Sonny is Avery’s father and she needs him, like she needed a father growing up. Ava leaves. Morgan tells Kiki not to worry. Kiki says she likes him so chill and he says its probably the meds.

Laura tells Nicholas to call when he gets the message and not to do anything rash. Tracy comes in looking for Hayden. Laura says she doesn’t know where Hayden is, but if Tracy finds her, she can keep her. Ha-ha! Tracy says Hayden is doing some financial work for her. Laura says she knew Nicholas gave Hayden a job at ELQ, but she didn’t think Hayden actually did anything. Tracy says Hayden is probably full of a lot of surprises.

Arthur, “the wedding purposer,” whose wearing a jester outfit, shows up to give Hayden and Nicholas a ten minute warning. Nicholas apologizes to Hayden that he didn’t talk to her sooner, and gives her a prenup.

Nina says she’d like to have a baby with Franco and says they should try anyway. He says they’ve never really discussed it. Nina says they’re a team and they love each other, and they should consider the possibility of being parents or at least try.

Carly tells Sonny he’s violating the custody agreement. Morgan texts Sonny with a heads up. Carly says I told you so and Sonny says she lives to say that to him. The doorbells rings.

Ava is there in the clutches of one of Sonny’s lackeys. Carly says they’re expecting her. Ava says she’s taking Avery and the only time Sonny will see her from now on is in photos. Sonny tells her not to touch his daughter.

Nicholas says Hayden will get 5 million if the marriage ends. She says, is that all? He says he thinks it’s fair and she says she was kidding. she says is that all he say it fair she was kididng He says nothing kills romance liek legalities. He says he trusts her but his legal team suggested the prenup.

Tracy asks Laura if she seriously thinks Hayden and Nicholas are getting married. Laura says she advised him against it, and now a lying back-stabbing little con-artist is out to take advantage of her son.

Hayden signs the prenup and they’re ready to go in. Arthur tells Hayden to come with him.

Franco is balking at being a parent. Nina tells him he’s almost a parent to Kiki and it would be great to have a child of their own. Franco says let’s stop for a second. Nina asks him if he wants to have a child with her and he says no.

Kiki and Morgan are having coffee outside. All of a sudden, Kiki has a weird look on her face. Morgan asks what’s wrong and she says the more she thinks about her mother, the more she doesn’t trust her.

Sonny says he thought Ava had the flu and she says she’s feeling better. Sonny tells her Avery will be safer with him. Ava asks what he’s talking about and he tells her not to be coy. Ava asks Carly if she talked Kiki into this and Carly says Kiki did it on her own. Ava says she’s glad because now Sonny is going to get even less time. Sonny says parental fitness is in the eye of the beholder. Ava takes Avery and leaves. Carly tells Sonny that Ava is probably calling her lawyer right now. Sonny says let her try; he knows what he’s doing. Sure enough, Ava calls her lawyer as soon as she gets outside.

Franco says he doesn’t want to pass his genes to a child, that the child will become a ticking time bomb. Nina says Franco isn’t who he used to be and he does well with Kiki. Franco tells her about working with Jake and that when he looks at him, he sees something he recognizes. He sees an angry, confused, troubled kid and he can’t imagine bringing a child into the world, looking into its eyes and seeing himself.

Tracy says Nicholas stole ELQ and is now marrying a con-artist, and it must be karma. Laura says she loves Nicholas, but doesn’t love his recent decisions. Tracy asks if she thinks he really loves Hayden and Laura says yes.

Hayden comes out carrying a beautiful bouquet, and is in a gorgeous white dress with black flowers that fits her perfectly. Good job, Arthur! Nicholas tells her that she takes his breath away. He gives her an amazing engagement ring with a huge round cubic zirconia diamond. She says she doesn’t know what to say, and he says the next thing she has to say is “I do.”

Ava meets Scotty at the bar. She tells him about how Kiki dropped Avery off with Sonny. Hmm…Avery is talking now? Scotty asks if Kiki was coerced. She says Kiki did it on her own out of a skewed sense of fairness and she wants Sonny’s visitation obliterated. Scotty tells her that if she pushes it, it will backfire.

Kiki tells Morgan this is a date, not a support group, so she’s dropping the subject of her mother. He tells her she looks cold and gets close to put his scarf on her.

Scotty asks Ava if Kiki was upset that she was called in to babysit under false pretenses. Ava reminds him of attorney/client privilege, and tells him she’s being forced into some business she doesn’t want to do. She says she can’t allow herself to be incriminated. Scotty tells her she should just lay low and should perhaps give Avery to Sonny until everything blows over. Ava says over her dead body. Scotty says let’s hope that doesn’t happen.

Carly says she saw how Sonny was looking at Ava and that he’s being very calm. She asks what he has on Ava.

Laura says Nicholas has a very romantic view of love and she knows that Hayden is going to end up hurting him. Tracy says believe it or not, she and Laura have a lot more in common than Luke. Tracy starts yawning and says she’s going home to catch up on some sleep. She asks Laura to tell Hayden she was looking for her.

Justice of the Peace Windsor, comes out in full king regalia. Nicholas offers him $500 for a few extra minutes. He has some vows he wants to read. Hayden says she didn’t prepare anything and he says she didn’t have to. They exchange rings and Windsor marries them at lightening speed. They kiss, confetti is thrown and Windsor is on to the next couple.

Nina tells Franco that she knows he’s not a bad person and neither is she. She says they make each other better and what he did had to do with the brain tumor. He says he’s not ready to make a baby with her. Nina says they can adopt. Franco says that conversation is going to take longer than the time they have, and they’ll talk about it later.

Kiki and Morgan kiss.

Ava tells Avery that Kiki can be a pain in the behind, but she loves her. Avery says, “Purple!” Ava says she’s going to make sure Sonny never harms her.

Sonny tells Carly about Ava doing some business that’s not gallery business. Carly says as long as he knows what he’s doing. Sonny says if the court won’t help, he has other means.

Scotty shows up at Nicholas’s castle. He tells Laura he wants to give her something. He has an invitation from Helena. Laura says she’s dead and I get excited for a second. Scotty says it’s an invite to the reading of the will.

Nicholas and Hayden are all lovey-dovey. Nicolas says he has to go pay Windsor and he leaves. Someone we don’t see says, “Rachel?” to Hayden.

Tomorrow, Lulu tells Dillon they can’t go on like this and Sam is found.

Little Women: Atlanta

Emily tells Bri and her boo about her pregnancy and how her boyfriend, Lontel, couldn’t have cared less. He sounds like a real charmer. Bri’s baby daddy isn’t supportive of Emily’s relationship and says she brought it on herself. What’s up with that guy’s eyebrows?

Minnie is doing Monie’s hair. Minnie says her boyfriend hasn’t been answering her texts. Monie is thinking about a career change as a voice over artist and has quit her office job. Her boyfriend will have to support her in the meantime and she’s hesitant to approach him about it. Minnie offers her a job at the salon, doing shampooing and such.

The twins brought their boyfriends along in the move. They’re the breadwinners and the boyfriends are househusbands. Minnie comes over. She says she didn’t have kids, so she “adopted” the twins. Minnie suggests a housewarming party, but they don’t know what that is, so she has to explain. How stupid and/or sheltered are they? Minnie asks if they’ll invite Bri and Emily. She says Atlanta is really a small town, so if they don’t, word will get out, so they agree.

Emily is going to her first prenatal appointment and Bri is along for support. Dr. Rogers asks her about the previous baby she had. The doctor seems to have a good knowledge of little people. They do an ultrasound. Emily would prefer to have a little baby because they’re cuter and easier to handle, but she says she also knows the health risks.

Dr. Rogers says the baby’s heart rate is normal and shows them the baby on the sono screen. Emily feels badly because Lontel isn’t there when she’s seeing the baby for the first time, and doesn’t know what the future will hold. She’s tired of his behavior and says he’d better show up for the next appointment. Or what? She’s already kicked him out.

Minnie and Bri go shopping for a housewarming gift. Minnie talks about their spa day and how it backfired, although I thought it went pretty well. We flash back to the Cheeks (Bri and Emily) telling her they’d heard she’s not really dating Troy. She says Troy has been MIA and she’s moving on.

Monie tells her boyfriend, Morlin (these all sound like names from Harry Potter), that she quit her job. He’s upset she didn’t confer with him first. She says she has a job at the salon. Morlin gets annoyed, but Monie says it’s not like she’ll be sitting on the couch eating bon-bons. Morlin says she should have come to him first, and says he doesn’t know if their relationship should continue.

Emily’s daughter, Ava, and her father are coming to visit. Ava hadn’t moved with her because she’s still in school. It’s obvious her father doesn’t like Lontel. Emily says at least he’s got a job and kept it. Wow. What an accomplishment. Her dad says he doesn’t think Lontel is ready for kids and it’s hard for a single mother. Emily still thinks it will work out.

It’s Monie’s first day at the salon. She tells Minnie about Morlin’s reaction to her quitting her job. Minnie says she’ll be fine. Minnie says having her at the salon will distract her from her problems with Troy. Minnie tells her how to prep the customer and Monie isn’t thrilled. She hands Monie a broom and she’s not thrilled with that either. Monie says she wasn’t expecting this labor. Geez. Did she expect to be eating bon-bons there?

Emily and Bri are exercising and Bri brings up the housewarming party. Bri thinks they can be friends again, but Emily thinks not. Bri asks if Emily is going to tell them about the pregnancy. Emily says she has no choice. They’ll know sooner or later anyway. Emily brings up Minnie’s relationship with Troy and asks Bri if she thinks it’s a real thing. They both think it’s sketchy.

Morlin tells Monie he wants to talk to her and apologizes for being so against her decision. He thinks it would be a good idea if he moved in. Monie is hesitant, but he says it will be easier for him to cover things with her career change. Otherwise, he has two households to take care of. She says she finds compromise difficult. He says he’s there all the time anyway. Monie says there will be rules and Morlin says they’ll adjust.

The twins are getting ready for their party. Monie and Minnie arrive first. In her individual interview, Emily hopes everyone is on their best behavior. She says she’s got enough drama with Lontel. Everyone immediately wonders why she’s not drinking. Minnie says she and Troy are going their separate ways. In her interview, Emily thinks it’s perfect timing since Juicy just exposed that she didn’t have a real relationship with him. Minnie asks if Bri is going to bring Juicy into their circle. Minnie says she’s a treachorous bitch. Emily says that Juicy practically runs the Atlanta social scene, so Minnie needs to back off.

In her interview, Minnie says she used to be friends with Juicy until she started spreading rumors that she wasn’t really dating Troy. She says the Cheeks claim they’re just doig business with her, but she thinks there’s more going on. Bri and Emily go outside for air. Bri asks Emily when she’s going to tell everyone about the pending baby.

Emily goes back in and says if she’s had an attitude problem lately, it’s probably because she’s pregnant. In their interview, one of the twins says she’s always been a bitch. Minnie says she’s going to leave the cheeks out of her beef with Juicy. Everyone is very supportive, which surprises Emily.

Monie and Minnie get together. Monie says she knows Minnie is putting on a brave face, but she’s bummed out about Troy. Minnie says she feels betrayed, and she had to cut things off with him because he wasn’t giving her the respect she deserves. Minnie wants to meet with Juicy to nip the rumors in the bud. She says she was sad about it at first, but now she’s pissed. Monie wonders why Juicy would make stuff up and says something must have triggered it.

Monie drops Minnie off to meet Juicy at some kind of restaurant. She tells her to keep it gangster. Minnie tells Monie about what the Cheeks said. Juicy says she explained to them how things had changed, that she discovered Minnie was a liar and using her. She says that Minnie wants to be her. In her interview, Minnie says that’s a laugh because Juicy looks like somebody’s grandma. Yeah, somebody’s grandma with magenta hair. Juicy says Minnie went from calling her every day to disappearing totally. Juicy says she knows Troy isn’t Minnie’s boyfriend and she’s just being a stalker. Minnie says she can’t be a stalker when she’s invited. Minnie walks out.

Minnie tells Monie what happened and says Juicy is just jealous. Say that three times real fast. They say screw Juicy and decide to go for drinks.

Next time, the twins don’t think Emily is pregnant and start rumors.

Little Women LA

Elena is getting her tattoos removed and Terra is tagging along. The technician says it’s not a lengthy procedure, but it takes a long time to achieve the end result. Like three years. Elena is having a preview party for her palette and hasn’t invited Jasmine. Terra says since Elena doesn’t have any kids, she didn’t think Elena would react so badly about not being invited to Jasmine’s mom party.

Briana is in the park with Matt. They talk about how Christy fought below the belt when they were at the couples retreat. Briana knows she has to see her since they travel in the same friend circle. Briana wants to plan a proper wedding. She tells Matt all he has to do is show up looking good.

Jasmine treats Tonya to a spa day. Tonya wants her and Elena to get along because she’s friends with both of them. She asks if Jasmine got an invite to Elena’s preview party. That’s a no. Jasmine says that Elena will have to get used to competition in the beauty world and Elena thinks Jasmine is encroaching on her territory because she wants to do an eyelash line. Tonya says once she had a baby, all the superficial baloney faded away. Jasmine says she was made fun of growing up because she was a little person and also something about her hair, which looks okay to me. I guess it’s thin, but no more than mine.

Terra meets Christy for lunch. Terra asks Christy about Briana and says Briana’s sister wanted to talk to her, so she’s invited her to lunch too. Christy doesn’t really want to get involved which is why Terra didn’t tell her beforehand. Terra thinks Christy should hear what Briana’s family has to say.

Briana’s sister Tiana arrives. She tells them she’s met Matt, but her parents haven’t. She thinks he’s a sociopath. Terra calls him Sociomatt. Ha-ha! Tiana says that if Briana hid her marriage for so long, she must be protecting Matt. Terra talks about their own investigation and finding out Matt had domestic violence charges under his belt. Speaking of belting, Tiana tells them that Briana said she didn’t understand why a man couldn’t hit a woman. Christy tells them she was in an abusive relationship and this is making her relive it. Christy feels the need to step in so Briana doesn’t go through what she did.

Terra asks what the family wants to do. Tiana says they want an apology before moving forward. Terra hopes with Christy’s help they can get Briana back with her family. She says she’ll talk to Briana.

The furniture store that Jasmine’s husband, Chris, owned closed and Jasmine has had the full breadwinner pressure. Chris passes a test to be a railroad engineer. He says they’re going to be furloughed, which means he does temp work somewhere else while he waits for a job in the area. The thought of moving to another state is devestating to Jasmine, who also wants another baby. Chris doesn’t want to not be able to afford anything, and wants to wait.

Todd and Christy are going to an adoption agency. They’ve always wanted to adopt even if they had a natural child. They’re doing foster to adoption rather than independent adoption, since someone might reject them for being little people. Their case worker, Jennifer, says they’ll do a home inspection first.

Todd asks if they’re being little people will be a hindrance. Jennifer says if the doctor determines there are limitations, they take it into consideration. She says the most important thing is that they’re safe, stable and loving parents. Jennifer leaves them alone to talk. Christy says this is their last chance to have a family and the last year has been heartbreaking. Todd asks Christy if she has any fears and she’s concerned about his weight and how that might interfere with him caring properly for a baby.

Joe and Terra are house hunting. She says that being little people makes it difficult to maneuver around in a house and it has to be modified. The view in this one is fabulous, but Terra is unhappy with the size. She wants more kids, so the house isn’t big enough. Joe says they should stay put until they get their loan situation together. Terra says that means putting a baby on hold. Joe says she’s correct, and he’s buying condoms tonight. Terra isn’t too happy about having to put off having more kids.

Christy and her mother are out shopping. Christy is also looking for a bigger place because her parents are moving in. Christy tells her mom about the meeting with Tiana. She talks about how Briana has changed and everything points to an abusive relationship. Christy is planning on approaching Briana at Elena’s party.

The palette party is being held in a makeup store. Terra and Christy tell Tonya and Elena about the lunch meeting. Christy’s idea is to throw Briana the reception she wants and invite her family. Tonya says Briana is grown and should take care of her own business, and goes off to get a drink.

Terra is nervous about approaching Briana, and there she is! Terra wants to get it over with asap. Elena thanks everyone for coming and says her palette is very her, a compact girl on the go. Elena is very proud of herelf and she should be. Elena does Briana’s makeup while the other girls talk about Christy’s parents moving in.

Terra and Christy ask to talk to Briana. Terra says she doesn’t want to poke the hornet’s nest again, but if they don’t do it now and Briana finds out elsewhere, she’ll be even more mad. Matt sudeenly appears like a stalker. Christy tells them that Tiana wants to get together with them. Briana asks why her sister didn’t approach her directly. Christy says she tried. Terra asks Matt if he wants to be accepted by Briana’s family. He says that he already has a family and they accepted Briana. He says he’s never seen such evil as Briana’s family has against them and it literally makes him sick. Then he throws up. Not really.

Christy says there are two sides to every story. Terra says it’s still family and their future child’s grandparents. Matt says they’ll never see their grandchild. Terra says she’s screaming inside. Matt says Briana’s family has called her a fetish. In her interview, Briana says it’s like her family thinks she can’t get anyone else. Matt says they’ve gotten texts in the middle of the night for hours, disparaging them. Terra says she tried to do the best thing, but it seems like it’s all for nothing.

Matt says they wanted to meet with Briana’s parents, but they didn’t want anything to do with them. In her interview, Christy says they should have had this conversation without Matt and I agree. Briana claims she’s tried to meet her parents halfway, but she’s throwing in the towel now.

Next time, Chris can only find out-of-state work and Briana feels ganged up on.

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s TV watching)

General Hospital

Robert and Anna are in a Halifax jail without knowing why. Anna is all what would have happened, but Robert is looking on the bright side — he gets to sleep with Anna again.

Ava is sick with some kind of virus. Kiki comes over to babysit. Ava says she knows Kiki is upset about her not allowing Sonny more time with Avery, but she hopes Kiki will adhere to her wishes.

Sonny asks Max if there’s any news about Ava’s shipment. It’s coming in today. His plans are to shut Ava down and bring Avery home. Michael arrives (is he still on this show?).

Carly is at the hospital and runs into Morgan. She says she’s there about Sonny, but Morgan thinks she’s checking up on him.

Jake is sedated in the hospital. What did I miss? Oh, okay, they fill me in by Jason saying that he was hit by a car. Elizabeth flashes back to when Jake was hit with a car by Luke (?).

Sam, still lying in the basement, calls out for Jake to help her.

Kiki tells Ava to just concentrate on getting better. She’s brought a load of supplies like soup and juice. Kiki goes to get Avery ready when Ava gets a text from Paul saying he’s coming over. She texts something back we don’t see.

Michael says it sounded like Sonny was talking about the business when he walked in and Sonny tells him to mind his own business. Michael says that they’ve at least been able to spend more time together with Sonny in the wheelchair staying put. He tells Sonny that Anna is looking for Sabrrrina.

Felicia and Mac show up to spring Anna and Robert. Felicia says they had to go through a lot of red tape. Anna asks if they explained what the blip happened to get them arrested.

Carly says she got the message when Morgan told her to butt out at the warehouse. She said he has a valid point and she’s backing off. Morgan asks if she means it or she’s just being patronizing. She says she means it.

Jason thinks Jake ran away because they realized he was behind the break-ins at the house. Elizabeth says he deserves a happy, safe childhood and she feels responsible for what’s happened. Monica comes in and says the prognosis is good. Monica says there’s the possibility of internal bleeding, so he’s going to need surgery. She says whatever it takes, Jake will be fine.

Sam tries to get up and falls over again. She realizes she has a concussion. She sees her phone nearby, but can’t reach it.

Ava is all dressed up when Paul rings the doorbell. He wants her to go to the gallery and meet Raj’s boss, Dixon. Ava says Sonny is just waiting for her to make a false move. Paul tells her that the police aren’t on to anything and Anna is indisposed.

Felicia tells Anna and Robert that they were mistaken for a wanted couple.

Michael tells Sonny that Anna was investigating Carrrlos and thinks Sabrrrina might be with him. Sonny tells him not to give up hope on Sabrrrina.

Morgan tells Carly he appreciates Carly’s trust. Carly asks about Kiki. Morgan says that she wants him to stay in the friend zone, but did agree to a date. Carly says they bring out both the best and worst in each other and they’ve both been hurt, so he should take it slow.

Jason asks Monica about Danny, who spent the night at her house. Monica says he’s doing great and has a birthday party after school, and will be ready for Sam afterward. So I guess they won’t be figuring out that Sam is in Elizabeth’s basement for a while.

Sam reaches her phone, but it’s smashed.

Kiki arrives at Sonny’s with Avery. We are just flying through the scenes today.

Michael meets Felix at the hospital. Felix has a postcard from Sabrrrina in San Juan. She says she made the right decision in leaving Port Charles. Michael says he’ll fly to San Juan. Felix says he shouldn’t do it. He says she knows about Michael’s change of heart already because she told him.

Robert asks if the couple has accents. Anna thinks the police were possibly looking for Carrrlos and Sabrrrina. Mac says no.

Ava says she’s not at the gallery because she wants as little contact as possible with the gun runners. She says she lied to Kiki to get Avery out of the apartment. She says that they used to be just business partners, but they’re involved now, so can’t Paul cut her some slack on the murder charge?

Sonny tells Kiki what she already knows about Ava not wanting to give him more time with Avery. She says what Ava doesn’t know won’t hurt her. She says she doesn’t want Avery’s heart to ache like hers did wishing for a father when she was growing up.

Jason sees Carly at the hospital and tells her about Jake being hit by the car. Elizabeth tells Monica she can’t believe this happened a second time because of her. Monica says parents always blame themselves if something happens to their child. Elizabeth says this is her punishment for what she did to Jason. I’ll vote for that.

Sam’s vision is gettig blurry. She starts crawling accross the floor, trying to make it to…the laundry basket?

Elizabeth says Jake is suffering because she’s selfish. She wanted to keep Jason to herself and ignored everyone else’s pain. Monica says that’s not the case, and the best you can do is to be there for your children since you can’t totally prevent them from being hurt.

Carly asks how the accident happened. Jason tells her Jake ran away and explains how he came to the conclusion that Jake was behind the break-ins. He says he shouldn’t have left Jake with a sitter. Carly says his job as a father is to help Jake get better, not blame himself. Monica comes by and says Jake is waking up.

Elizabeth is telling Jake everything will be fine and she loves him. Jason enters and says he loves him too. Jake asks if they’re mad at him. Jason says he didn’t have to run away because he messed up. Jake says that’s not why he ran away. Elizabeth asks why he did then.

Sam gets to the washing machine and leans against it. She pulls the laundry basket down and puts a towel around herself to get warm.

Kiki suggests she and Morgan go to the zoo and Kelly’s with Avery. He asks if she’s asking him on a date and she says it’s more like she wants to get to know the new Morgan.

Paul says destroying the recording of Ava’s confession doesn’t mean she’s not responsible for killing Connie. Paul says she’s too valuable and he needs her as a front. He wants to keep the recording for leverage. He says as long as she cooperates he won’t need to use it. He says since Avery is out and the shipment is going smoothly, they should make good use of their time. Ava says she might be forced to work with him, but she doesn’t have to sleep with him. She tells Paul it’s over and to get out.

Jake starts to talk, but Elizabeth tells him to rest for now. Monica comes in and says they need to prep Jake for surgery. Elizabeth says when he wakes up, she and Jason will be there. Jake says something about Sam.

Sam sees a space heater across the room and crawls toward it.

Michael asks when Felix talked to Sabrrrina. Felix says he called her after she disappeared. He tells Michael that she does’t want to come back to Port Charles. Michael asks if he’s supposed to just forget about her then. Um, that would be a yes.

Anna says Paul might be behind their arrest.

Paul tells Ava he thought she was having fun with him. She says she was, but because he’s blackmailing her, it’s a turnoff. Paul says he enjoyed it as much as she did, but he knows that she did it because partially because he has her confession on a flash-drive. He says let’s do it one more time and Ava says no. He says he thought they were good together, but it’s her choice. She says she’ll let him know if she changes her mind, but don’t hold his breath.

Sonny suggests he take care of Avery so that Morgan and Kiki can have a real date. They agree, so I’m sure somehow Ava is going to find out.

Paul calls Anna and asks how Robin and Emma are. She says they’re having a wonderful time, last night was memorable, and thanks him. When he asks why she’s thanking him, she says for calling. He says he can’t wait for her to get back and hopes to see lots of pictures.

Oh, this is good. Ava is at the bar ordering champagne when Morgan and Kiki walk in. She sees them and asks where Avery is.

Carly tells Michael she’s sorry about Sabrrrina. She didn’t want him to rush things, but says she knows he would have made a great father.

Everyone tells Jake it’s going to be okay and he’s wheeled to the operating room.
Maybe not so okay for Sam. She gets to the heater and plugs it in. Oops! The plug starts to spark, but she’s already half asleep.

Tomorrow, Ava confronts Kiki and Hayden wants to know what could possibly stop her wedding to Nicholas.

The Haves and The Have Nots

Benny says what the hell and Candace tells him Quincy found her and so did Warlock. Benny asks if War called the police. Candace doesn’t think so and Benny says they have to find Jeffrey. Candace says she has a nosy neighbor, and Benny tells her to go find Jeffrey and he’ll handle things. She says she broke Jeffrey’s phone when he tried to call the cops. Benny tells her to make sure Jeffrey isn’t at the police station. Well, he is, but not for what they think.

The guard comes to get Jeffrey. Veronica tells him not to say anything and David tells him to be careful. Jim thinks he’s going to make a statement against them. Kathryn suggests they all collect themselves and just get through it. Veronica says they wouldn’t be in it in the first place if her son hadn’t ratted them out. Jim makes snide remarks about Veronica and David starts fighting with him. The guards break it up.
DA Jennifer arrives and agrees with Jim that Veronica is a cold bitch and Veronica asks her to come closer. Kathryn says she warned Jennifer. Jennifer asks if she’s the boogie man and Kathryn says worse, she’s a woman, and anything a man can think up, boogie or otherwise, wouldn’t hold a candle to what she can do.

David is taken out and Jim thinks David made a deal. David says he has to look out for Jeffrey first. Veronica wants him to try and get her out first, but he says as long as she’s in there, Jeffrey is safe.

In the hallway, David says that leaving them the newspaper wasn’t a good idea. Jennifer says Veronica made a fool out of him, since he’d been faithful to her, making that assumption since he didn’t sleep with Jennifer. Jennifer says she didn’t get him out, Maggie did, and she intimates that David must be sleeping with her because this is all she thinks about. David wants to see his son. Jennifer says no, he’s safer without seeing David or Veronica. She tries to pump him for information about Maggie, but he’s not talking. She tells him he’s free to go.

David comes out to where Maggie is waiting. He asks her why she would put an article like that in the newspaper. She’s like you’re welcome for getting you out. He asks to borrow her phone. He goes into the hallway to make a call. He calls someone named Mama Rose. He wants to know if anyone put a hit on his wife. She says she can’t talk about those things. He asks if Jim put out a hit and she says not with them. Is there a lot of competition in this area? He thanks her and hangs up.

David asks Maggie why she didn’t get Jim out. She says he’s done and the only thing that matters is David. She says he has the potential to be governor or maybe president. He’s pissed about the photo of Veronica and wants to know who the guy is. She claims she doesn’t know. David wants her to put out a statement that the photo was doctored. Maggie says she won’t do it. He then asks how long Veronica has been having an affair. She says she doesn’t know. David gets his belongings and leaves.

The DA meets with Jeffrey. She tells him he won’t be charged with the DUI or obstruction regarding the car that they were all hiding if he testifies. He asks if Wyatt is being charged, and she says no, he’s getting immunity and wanted the same for Jeffrey. She says if he takes the same deal, he has to testify against his parents and the Cryers. He says he won’t and she says he’ll be charged then and she’ll make sure he goes to jail. He still says no. He says he’ll testify against his mother, but that’s it. Jennifer says it might be difficult because they’re all being tried together. He says he won’t do it, that all he knows is what his mother did, and as far as the others go, it’s only hearsay.

Jeffrey says he loves his mother. Jennifer is perplexed. Jeffrey says she’s evil and tried to blackmail him about the car. He says he’s gay and she hates him for it. Jennifer asks if he’ll testify if she has Veronica’s trial separated. Jeffrey says gladly. She tells him he can go, but to answer his phone. She asks if there’s blood on his shirt and he says he hit a deer and had to move it. She asks what’s going on with his mother and father, that David seems unhappy. Jeffrey says he doesn’t want to discuss his parents, but Jennifer says it’s for court. Jeffrey says Veronica treats David terribly. Jennifer then asks about Maggie and if she’s having an affair with David. Jeffrey says he really doesn’t know, but David says he isn’t.

Queen sees one of Quincy’s homies and asks how to track someone on a phone. She gives him a hot laptop and he demonstrates. He brings up the address where Quincy’s phone is. Queen asks him to take her there.

Hanna wakes up Quincy Jr. who says he doesn’t feel well. She feels his forehead and says he’s burning up. He says his stomach doesn’t feel right either, so she tells him to get dressed and she’ll take him to the doctor. She calls for a cab. She asks how much it will be, but she doesn’t have enough. She tells them to send the cab anyway.

Jeffrey goes to Wyatt’s house. Jeffrey says it’s been a long night and his parents are in jail. Wyatt says he knows because he did it. Jeffrey asks why and Wyatt says it was the only way to get away from them. Jeffrey says he’s seen his mother get murderers off and she’s going to figure a way out. Wyatt says he got Jeffrey immunity. Jeffrey says he didn’t want to be a part of this and Jim is going to be pissed when he gets out. Wyatt says Jeffrey should be thanking him, and Jeffrey says he wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place if it wasn’t for him. Good point.

Wyatt ignores that and starts talking about how he’s going to get his inheritance and get out. Jeffrey comes close to telling him what happened with Quincy. Jeffrey says he has to go and there’s a knock at the door. It’s Candace.

Candace asks Jeffrey why he left. Jeffrey says he needed some air. Candace tells him to come with her. Wyatt says something about the police station and Jeffrey getting immunity. Candace thinks he’s talking about Quincy and she says she thought they were in this together. Wyatt asks what she’s talking about and says that he drove the car that hit her brother and Jeffrey and the rest covered for him. Candace asks Jeffrey if he knew this whole time and didn’t say anything to her. She says she can’t believe it. Jeffrey says he can’t believe how screwed up his life has been since he met her. She says he never would have stood up to Veronica or come out of the closet if it wasn’t for her. She says he’s not an innocent bystander, he’s an active participant. I assume she’s alluding to Quincy’s murder, especially since she keeps repeating it and hitting him in the chest and back. Jeffrey says he doesn’t want to talk to her again. She says when hes’s done being used by Wyatt, to let her know. Wyatt, who’s been interjecting snarky remarks, asks her what her rate is. She says he doesn’t have enough.

Quincy Jr. tells Hanna he needs his medicine, but he can’t seem to tell her more than that. She says she’s getting him to the hospital. The cab pulls up. They’re halfway there and she tells the cabbie she only has nine dollars. He says he’ll have to let her out. She tells him that Quincy is very sick, but he’s a bastard and makes her get out anyway and takes her nine bucks. I hate him and hope she sues if anything happens to the kid. Although she probably could call 911.

Quincy Jr. passes out when they sit on a bench. Hanna scoops him up and runs.

Next week, Quincy Jr. finally gets to the hospital, David investigates the hit on Veronica and maybe sleeps with Maggie. Maybe.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Kyle says every time she washes her car, it rains. LisaV says maybe it’s karma and she has a bone to pick with Kyle. She didn’t appreciate Kyle not telling her that Faye Resnick was going to be at her party. Faye was seriously rude to Lisa some time back and Kyle says life is too short to hold a grudge. Lisa asks how Kyle would feel if she invited witch Carlton to a party. Lisa and Kyle are celebrating their 33rd and 20th anniversaries (respectively) together and Kyle says she’s invited Faye to that too. I would have been more annoyed that Kyle called that last one a barbecue when it was a dinner party.

Yolanda, who is feeling a lot better since her surgery, and Erika go for a walk to the beach. Erika tells Yolanda about the altercation between Faye and Kathryn. She also tells her about LisaV saying that Mohammed claimed Bella and Anwar don’t have Lyme disease. Yolanda says she wishes people would use their energy more positively. She says she heard from LisaR, who’d been discussing Yolanda’s illness behind her back. Yolanda says who has time to spend three years being ill who really isn’t ill. Um…Brooks Ayers?

LisaV starts checking out Kyle’s phone in the car and Kyle snatches it back. Hmm… what’s in there? They’re checking out the venue for their Moulin Rouge themed party. Lisa thinks it’s kind of small and tells Kyle she knows one person Kyle could de-invite.

LisaR visits Erika, who has the most unbelievable house ever. Erika gives Lisa the tour. Lisa says the house is exquisite and makes LisaV’s house look small. Erika shows her the chapel where her religious art collection is displayed. Lisa says she’s seen a lot of things in her day, but this is a first.

She’s there to ask for advice on how to approach Yolanda. They sit on the patio and have some wine. There’s also a really nice spread of snacks on the table.

Kathryn and husband Donnie go to the gym. She says since she’s nine years older, she doesn’t want to ever show him she’s going downhill, so she does everything he does as far as working out goes. She tells him about the upcoming anniversary party and that Faye has been invited and it didn’t go the way she thought at Kyle’s party when she’d expected a big blowout. She says knowing someone who was brutally murdered is second only to her father’s death in being painful, and that she and her ex-husband were never brought into it until Faye’s book. She says she can barely look at Faye, but she’ll see how it goes.

Erika brings up the talk of Yolanda’s illness at Kyle’s party. LisaR says if Yolanda wasn’t dealing with her illness in such a public way, people wouldn’t be saying anything. She says unfortunately she’s engaged in it and now she feels it’s necessary to tell Yolanda. Erika says Yolanda will be more understanding than Lisa thinks.

Erika is taking a voice lesson. She says performing is so much fun, it doesn’t feel like work. She’s going to be having a show in San Diego, and all of the ladies are coming.

Eileen and Vince are back from Italy. She’s picking out an outfit for the Moulin Rouge party and the feathers from it our going everywhere from her boa. Vince asks how she’s doing after scattering her sister’s ashes and she says she’s hanging in there.

LisaR comes to Yolanda’s house. She says Yolanda isn’t the easiest person for her to talk to and this is very difficult. They sit down for coffee. Lisa tells Yolanda that she engaged in some negative talk about Yolanda and that the pictures she posts of opposite ends of the spectrum — both happy and ill — tend to confuse people. Yolanda asks Lisa why she thinks she posts the pictures, and Lisa says “awareness.” Yolanda says she got it right, and it’s hard when people you know start talking like that behind your back. Lisa apologizes and says she’s really a decent human being. In her individual interview Yolanda says Lisa is deflecting and she needs to deal with her own issues. Lisa says she didn’t know what Munchhausen’s Syndrome was but someone approached her and said maybe that’s what Yolanda has, and she explains the illness. Oddly enough, Yolanda has never heard of it either. How is it that both of these women of the world have never heard of this?

Kyle’s daughter, Portia, is trying a hat on her dog, Khloe (please tell me she’s not named after a Kardashian). Khloe is no Giggy, but she looks pretty cute. Kyle models her party outfit for Mauricio. Ken and LisaV pick them up and their dresses (or whatever you call them) are difficult to deal with in the limo.

Kathryn and Donnie pick up Erika, whose husband is with a client. Erika tells them about how LisaR came over to ask her for advice. At least this group knows what Munchhausen’s is.

The party begins! All of the costumes are fabulous, lots of feathers and sparkles. LisaR says if Harry (who is also not attending) had seen her leave the house that way, he’d just shake his head and wonder what she was up to now. Camille (who I think Andy Cohen is wooing to come back) is also there. Erika uses the c-word in front of Kathryn who tells her she’s too beautiful to talk like that and Erika says she won’t say it in front of her anymore. In her individual interview though, she says she’ll use it every chance she gets. While I don’t think someone’s looks have anything to do with how they should talk, I’m in agreement with Kathryn that it’s a degrading word and it lessens my opinion of Erika. It actually makes me want to call her one.

LisaV says hello to Faye. If there’s anyone on this show who deserves Erika’s favorite word, it’s that one. Faye tells Kyle that she thinks it’s all good between her and Lisa, but she needs to rethink that. The ladies discuss LisaR’s visit with Yolanda and Kyle does her famous splits. In her individual interview (where she is sporting some dynamite magenta highlights), LisaV says that must be the secret to Kyle’s happy marriage and that she can barely put her socks on. Ha-ha, Lisa! I’ll bet you’re just fine at putting on your socks.

Kathryn, LisaV and Kyle talk about Faye. Lisa says she was nice to Faye. Kathryn says she doesn’t really know her, but she doesn’t trust her. Kyle defends Faye, but Kathryn says she feels Faye capitalized on a tragedy by writing about it and had no businss involving her. Kyle says it was 21 years ago and it’s a new chapter today. Kyle is annoyed that Kathryn is bad-mouthing Faye at her party, but I think she has good reason for her dislike. Apparently, Faye is bucking for a spot on this show and I don’t like her very much either. There’s an air of superiority about her that’s very annoying.

Kyle tries to complain to LisaV about Kathryn’s remarks. Lisa says she can’t change the way Kathryn feels. Hey, it’s Taylor! Kyle is annoyed that Lisa isn’t being supportive she says the last time she sided with the new girl, it didn’t go very well. We flash back to Brandi slapping Lisa.

Next week, we get to see Erika’s show and LisaV finds out that LisaR told Yolanda what she said about the kids.

February 1, 2016 — Jake Disappears & Stassi Returns

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s TV watching)

General Hospital

Christina asks Parker why she’s there and Parker says she knows what Christina is doing and it has to stop. Christina acts clueless and Parker barges into the house.

Olivia is trying to deal with the mayor’s cancellation of events at the hotel. Julian tells her he persuaded the mayor to drop the charges, so maybe he can help with that. Nina comes by and puts in her 2¢ about breastfeeding in public, which really wasn’t what they were talking about.

Franco tells Jason and Elizabeth that Jake needs some serious help.

Sam falls down the stairs again, just like she did on Friday. Jake comes out of the shadows and asks Sam if she’s okay. Obviously, he isn’t connecting her closed eyes and limp body to being not okay.

Julian tells Nina that he and Olivia are having a private conversation. Nina says he made it public when he published Olivia’s picture in the paper. Julian says he’s smoothing things over with the mayor. Nina uses a Footloose analogy, ending with Port Charles isn’t holding out for a hero, they have Olivia. Nina says she’s going to use her resources to get the message out to the world.

Dante tells Lulu she should have given him a heads up. She says he wouldn’t have agreed to meet if she had. She asks him for an hour to try and save their marriage, and he says okay.

Elizabeth tells Franco she’ll call him later and he says Jake is a great kid. Well, that’s a matter of opinion. I happen to think he’s a tad creepy. When Franco leaves, Jason and Elizabeth discuss Jake. Jason says they’ll get him the best help available.

The babysitter comes downstairs. How long does it take to remove Silly String and didn’t she hear Sam fall? She sees the basement door open and asks Jake why he’s in the basement.

Parker is apparently the professor who turned in Christina. She says Christina shouldn’t have said she’d call Parker’s wife. She adds something about Christina posting bad professor reviews. Do they have those on Yelp? Christina is obviously nervous that Parker is there and Parker says she’s already been suspended, so what is she worried about? Maybe she’s worried about Alexis who is coming downstairs.

Jake’s therapist joins Jason and Elizabeth. Jason shows her the drawing of Sam and gives her the backstory. Elizabeth tells her about the “break-ins.” and Jason says he thinks it’s Jake. The therapist says that’s very likely. She says they’ll deal with it in their next session. Elizabeth asks, why not now, and the therapist says disrupting his routine isn’t a good idea, that he needs to feel safe and secure.

Parker introduces herself to Alexis. Christina says she took one of Parker’s classes and they became friends. Alexis asks if Christina needs a ride to the train station. Christina makes it up as she goes along and says Parker is giving her a ride, which is good since she’s taking independent study with her. Alexis asks what the subject is and Parker tells her sex and power, but Christina adds in Shakespeare’s plays. Alexis tells Christina to text her when she gets back and tells Parker to take care of her daughter. Parker says she intends to.

Julian says motherhood isn’t exactly Nina’s forte. Nina says she’s a woman, so it is. Julian mentions that Nina can’t have children and Olivia jumps to her defense. Nina says that doesn’t mean she can’t understand a woman’s pain. Julian says he doesn’t want to see her disappointed if change doesn’t happen. Nina blows him off and says they could win the trial before it happens. Olivia says the picture in the paper didn’t help and Nina says that’s because the audience wasn’t wide enough and she needs a national publication.

Lulu and Dante crack a couple of beers. Dante says he hasn’t seen that dress on Lulu in a while. She says it’s special to her, and he says to him too, and remembers she was wearing it when she told him she was pregnant. She tells him she got the beer special because that’s what he bought her the night they first met. They go down Memory Lane about that and their first kiss. They talk about how they fell in love. Dante says he remembers when he realized she was “the one,” and Lulu asks if she’s still the one.

Nina wants Olivia to pose nude for the magazine. She says it will be tasteful. She wants her to be breastfeeding Leo for the “real woman” issue. Olivia gets annoyed because she thinks Nina is just using her to sell magazines, although I’m sure Nina could find someone else if she wanted to.

Parker says Alexis didn’t seem upset. Christina says that’s because she’s cool that way, but Parker realizes Christina never told her parents about the suspension. Parker says that people will go to great lengths to keep a secret that threatens their identity. Christina says that Parker has, and Parker says it’s true, she has a great life that she doesn’t want to lose. “But you’re here,” Christina tells her.

Lulu says she can’t pretend nothing has changed, but it’s not like everything changed. She says Dante is still kind brave generous & funny. Dante says she beautiful stubborn and smart. He says she takes his breath away. Lulu says they’re still the same people in their hearts and if they can shut out the world from distractions, they can find out what’s sitll there. Dante says they’re still in love and they kiss.

Jason and Elizabeth see the broken window. They ask the babysitter where Jake is, and she says he’s gone. Elizabeth starts to freak. Jason asks how long Jake has been gone. The sitter says she went upstairs to clean up and when she came back down, she saw the broken window and found a note. The note says I’m sorry. I have to go. It would have been good of him to add that Sam is in the basement.

Nina tells Olivia they might have slightly different motivations, but want the same end result. Olivia says she doesn’t want to be exploited. Nina says Crimson is more than a magazine, it’s a vehicle for change. Julian, who should really be keeping out of this conversation, says Olivia has too much respect for herself to do something so undignified. Nina says motherhood is chic and they’re just taking it to the next level. She says they want to show a beautiful story between mother and son. Julian suggests that Leo will be embarrassed later when the picture is all over the internet (doubtful). Olivia says to sign her up.

Parker says she agreed not to talk to Christina’s parents and Christina agreed not to tell Parker’s wife about what happened. She says Christina needs to take down the professor reviews, but Christina still says she didn’t post them. Parker says it’s obvious she’s the child of an attorney because all she does is deny. She says her wife also caught wind of this. Christina says first Parker accused her of trying to seduce her, and now she’s accusing her of the reviews. Parker says Christina was the one who propositioned her, but Christina says that’s what Parker wanted.

Lulu and Dante get busy like the old days. Lulu stops mid-grope though. She says it’s been a while and she needs to take a minute. She says she was sure if she got them back to where they were before, they could work things out. Dante says him too, but it’s not working. Lulu agrees. Funny. It looked like it was working.

Parker claims she wanted her gifted student to reach full potential. Christina says yeah, with scotch at her apartment when her wife was working. Parker tells her to remove her comments or she’s going to the dean and next is expulsion.

Nina says she has to go over things with Dillon and Maxie. All Olivia needs to do is make sure Leo is hungry before the shoot. Nina leaves and Olivia tells Julian that he started all this. Julian says again that Leo might feel embarrassed later, but Olivia says breastfeeding isn’t an embarrassment . Alexis joins them and thinks the photo shoot is a great idea. Julian tries to get her to side with him, but it’s not happening.

Nina tells Franco about the upcoming magazine issue, but he’s not paying attention. She asks him why he’s not excited. He says one of his patients is distracting him, but he can’t talk about it. Nina says if he changes his mind, he can tell her anything. He says it’s bothering him because the patient is just a kid and he’s worried the kid might be in real trouble.

Sam starts to regain consciousness. Jason questions the babysitter who says the last time she saw Jake was an hour ago. Jason decides to go out looking.

Lulu says tonight wasn’t supposed to go like this. I’m not really sure what went wrong. She says she thought all she needed to do was remind them of how they loved wach other but their bed reminds her of how they came apart. Oh, that’s what went wrong. That was probably a bad idea to do this at the loft. Lulu says it’s not their bed anymore. Dante says she was right, that they lost a lot and hurt each other badly, but it will stay with them for a while. Lulu wonders if it will ever go away. She says she still loves him and he says he still loves her too. He says maybe it’s not enough. I say, maybe you could have offered to get rid of that bed and get a new one. This guy is so lazy when it comes to relationships, he’s worse than a real man.

Christina tells Parker not to push her. Parker says she’s the one pushing. Christina says if her parents find out, they won’t be happy, especially her father, making a veiled threat. Parker says it would be a shame to waste her future on youthful folly and not to squander her potential. Christina says Parker saw a lot of potential in her for a lot of things. Parker says Christina needs to figure out who she wants to be, but her parents might figure it out first. Is she talking about Christina being gay or something else? And why didn’t she just call?

Olivia goes to get some celebration drinks. Julian asks Alexis why she’s being supportive of the photo shoot. Alexis tells him to get out of his comfort zone and get with the program. She adds that breastfeeding moms don’t exactly sell clothes (not necessarily; it depends on the clothes) and he might get his wish for the magazine to fail. Ha! This issue will probably do better than the green issue.

Nina tells Franco about the new issue and says she wants Olivia on the cover. Franco asks if Olivia knows and Nina says there are still details to discuss. Yeah, like Olivia being on the cover. She says she thinks a mother breastfeeding is the most beautiful thing ever and it gives her hope. When Franco asks hope about what, she says having her own child.

Dante and Lulu sit with the divorce papers in front of them. Lulu signs first. I don’t like Dante, but this is depressing. Lulu tells Dante to be happy because she can’t think of him any other way. She tells him good-bye and leaves. Don’t sign them, Dante! Lulu cries in the hallway. Dammit! He signed them. I hate him more than ever now.

Jason can’t find Jake and says they should call 911. A car pulls up and Elizabeth and Jason go out on the porch. It’s Jake. Sam’s sparkly shadowed eyes open and she (barely) calls for help.

Tomorrow, Anna and Robert are in a mess and Sam is unconscious again.

Vanderpump Rules

Stassi is back. DUN-DUN-DUNNN!

Jax and Brittany have just gotten back from Hawaii and even he’s appalled at his own behavior. He can’t even explain why he stole the sunglasses and says the worst thing is seeing Brittany’s disappointed face, as well as the reactions of the rest of his friends.

Ariana brings Jax’s suitcase to his apartment. He says he feels like he ruined their last day, but Ariana says they had fun despite his best efforts.

Everyone at SUR is talking about Jax’s arrest. James is thrilled, especially since Lala thinks Jax is extremely lame for stealing something as insignificant as sunglasses.
Tom says the best case scenario is a lifetime of probation, but Jax isn’t good at being good. Ariana says Jax had better be nice to her forever.

Ariana and Scheana visit Kristen, who immediately wants the skinny on Jax. Scheana says it’s one thing to borrow a bottle of vodka from SUR, but another to steal a pair of designer sunglasses. What’s wrong with this picture? I guess it’s okay to steal from Lisa. Kristen says she woke up to a text saying Jax had been arrested. Kristen moves on to Jax’s friend Kevin who she’s been seeing. He’s been hanging out at her place and he sent her a mushy text saying he loves her. She’s weirded out by that and has to tell him to slow his roll. Scheana tells Kristen about having to apologize about the texts between her and Ariana’s mother. Kristen somehow turns this around to Tom being controlling. Scheana says Ariana used to be the fun chick and Kristen was the bitter, grudge holder, but now it’s reversed.

Kristen says she’s met with Stassi, but Scheana doesn’t want anything to do with her. Isn’t this the pot calling the kettle black? It’s okay for Scheana, but not for Ariana.
Brittany got a job at Hooters. She has a career now! Jax says Brittany is being a tremendously good sport about his idiocy. He has to meet with Lisa later, which won’t be good. Jax gets a call from the Hawaii police department. He tells them his lawyers are taking care of it, whatever “it” is. The guys discuss Kevin.

Kevin seems to have taken up residence on Kristen’s couch. Stassi knocks at the door. They have some wine which Stassi says is fitting after a break up. In her individual interview, she says that she’s dated a million a-holes and finally found a good guy and can’t make it work, so maybe she’s the a-hole. You think? She says she lost herself in the realationship. Then Stassi talks about how Jax was always a thief and even stole the clutch she has with her. She justifies keeping it in her individual interview by saying she didn’t steal it.

The guys are still talking about Kevin and how Kristen knew he had a girlfriend. Schwartz wonders if Jax and Kristen are soulmates.

Kevin goes to get take-out. Stassi says she liked him until he became a stage five clinger. Ha-ha! She talks about how her life is up in the air. Kristen says she’ll get Kevin’s key back and Stassi can have it. We flash back to their tumultuous relationship over the seasons. Kristen says they can sleep in her bed and Kevin can have the couch. Yikes!

Jax meets with Lisa. He says she usually finds his screw-ups humorous. I think this is a huge part of Jax’s problem. He’s gotten out of things his entire life by being cute and funny. The older he gets, the older that gets, and it’s not working anymore. Besides that, the muttonchop sideburns he’s wearing are not a good look. It’s like Dark Shadows from the 70s.

Lisa is livid. She tells Jax she’s not even offering him a drink. He starts off by saying he was drunk. She says he’s either a drunk, a thief or a liar. I say all three. She asks how many times he has stolen from people. He acts clueless and Lisa says he’s always taking what doesn’t belong to him. Lisa asks how she can trust him now. He says he’s not a bad person, and she says if it walks like a duck. She says he’ll have to make her understand why she should keep him on. He says it’s more than just a job, it’s his home, which is actually kind of sad. She says she’s suspending him for a couple of weeks. She tells him to go and think carefully about his future. In his interview, he seems pretty embarrassed to be 36 and making this kind of a mistake.

Ariana and Tom are painting his apartment, now their apartment. Tom says it’s Scheana and Shay’s first anniversary, but he wants to keep his distance. Ariana says she does too. She and Scheana haven’t exactly been on the same page lately.

Jax is out with Brittany and Kristen is tagging along. He tells them he was suspended for two weeks which is better than being fired. Jax tells Kristen that Kevin has a girlfriend. Kristen is surprised and he says he thought she knew. In his interview, Jax says she did know, but just didn’t want Stassi to think she was still a homewrecker. What? Kevin is there at the table. They were talking about him like he wasn’t there. Maybe he was in the bathroom or just got there. Jax asks him if he has a girlfriend. He mumbles a bunch of crap that boils down to yes, and I wonder how he’s been able to hang around with Kristen so much. Kristen tells him to piss off. He apologizes and Jax says he’ll walk him out. I love how Jax pretends to have integrity sometimes.

Kristen can’t understand, since she’s 5’9″ and beautiful (her words), why she can’t find an awesome guy and an awesome job. How much time does she have?

Stassi says she’s cursed about apartments since Jax ruined her credit. She says every time she thinks she hit rock bottom, there’s still further to go, and now she’s staying with someone who slept with her boyfried…twice. An old boyfriend (not Jax) was also trying to blackmail her with a sex tape. He wanted $900 (how did he come up with that figure? it’s not even a thousand), and Lisa ended up paying it. Since Stassi is on her apology tour, she knows she has to talk to Lisa.

Jax comes by Schwartz and Katie’s place. He never says thank you for bailing him out, but he does pay Schwartz back. He asks them if they’ve had sex since they got engaged, and Schwartz says this is getting to be a thing now. Katie says Stassi texted her again, but she’s ignoring it, since Stassi so unceremoniously blew her off.

Scheana and Shay are out for their anniversary. Schaena thinks it’s fine for Shay to drink as long as she controls it. She says he needs to find a happy medium between being shayfaced and a bore. He says it’s frustrating with her controlling his drinking, but because she’s hot, it’s an okay trade-off.

James and Lala are doing a modeling shoot. He says he’s going to take every opportunity to grab her ass and he does. These two are such lowlifes, it boggles my mind. Lala makes it clear that she doesn’t want to sleep with James and he says that’s cool, but doesn’t mean it and is going to keep trying.

Stassi goes to SUR early when Lisa is there before they open. She’s wearing green because it’s an “apologetic” color. Okay. She didn’t tell Lisa she was coming so Lisa couldn’t think up things to say beforehand. Lisa says she’s heard Stassi had said a lot of nasty things about her, SUR and the staff. Stassi starts to apologize and Lisa lists things she’s done for Stasst and says she really had Stassi’s back. In her individual interview, Stassi makes light of it, saying Lisa gave her a waitress job, how grateful does she need to be? Well, there is that tape. She keeps apologizing though. Lisa brings up the sex tape guy who apparently worked at SUR.

Stassi tries to give Lisa the money back, but Lisa says don’t be insulting. Stassi says Lisa hates her and gets up to leave. Lisa says she’s not important enough to hate and to sit back down. Lisa asks her what she wants. Stassi starts bawling. In her interview, Stassi says she wasn’t going to cry, but Lisa is making her feel badly about every decision she’s ever made. Stassi says she just wanted to apologize to the people she really cared about. Lisa says Stassi gave up a lot of great friends and that she’s been really stupid. Stassi says she’ll just have to prove herself to everyone.

Next week, Katie is having a launch party for her beauty blog and an uninvited James shows up.

January 31, 2016– Potomac, Atlanta & a Galavanting Thought

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & receps from today’s TV watching)

 

It was really good of ABC to show the finale of Galavant! during the live performance of Grease on FOX. While it’s not one of my favorite musicals, I’m loving the recent promotion of live theatre and enjoy watching just about anything. I’m sure this one is going to draw a large audience, so it’s a shame ABC didn’t care enough about their own program to give the last episode of the season a better chance at bigger ratings. I’m hoping this doesn’t affect their renewal possibilities.

Obviously, I chose Galavant! If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have found out his first name is Gary.

The Real Housewives of Potomac

Some of these women have some weird relationships going on. One is divorced, but still sleeps in the same bed as her husband, and another one isn’t really engaged, but likes to “keep it muddy” when discussing it with friends. Either you’re engaged or not, or you’re divorced or not.

Katie is meeting with an editor from Washington Life. Ten years ago, she graced the cover and now they want to revisit her life. She’s promoting a charity called the Rost Foundation. Katie talks about her old money background and muddies the waters as best she can when asked about her love life. In her individual interview, she says everyone will know Andrew belongs to her when they magazine come out. Isn’t Andrew’s opinion at least somewhat important?

Karen asks to meet with Gizelle. Karen tells Gizelle her intentions were good, but her delivery was wrong with adding Charrisse and talking in a public place, even though they’re in one now. Karen says when she’s wrong she owns it, but she’s rarely wrong. Karen suggests Gizelle speak with Charrisse, but Gizelle says she already apologized and she’s done.

Ashley and her husband are having dinner with Katie and Andrew. Katie asks Ashley how she and Michael met. Katie says she could learn something from Ashley on how to lock it down. Katie asks how Ashley liked the other girls, and she wasn’t too impressed. Andrew makes some snarky remarks about Karen which aren’t unwarranted.

Robyn’s ex-husband, Juan, didn’t grow up with a good father figure, so he wants to be there for his kids. He used to be in the NBA, now coaches for the University of Maryland and wants to eventually coach in the NBA. Robyn says that Juan wants their relationship to work out and I’m wondering why they’re divorced in the first place, since they seem to function well as a couple. They hit hard times financially and Juan might get a job out of state. Robyn is deciding whether she and the kids are coming along or if they’re going to part ways.

Karen’s daughter is getting ready for her senior prom. Of course she looks amazing and so does her date. Karen says she’s a helicopter mom and I’m not surprised. She says she’ll have to put some of that passion into her own life now. Look out, Potomac!
Robyn is with her mother at a consignment bridal shop where they’re leaving Robyn’s wedding dress. They talk about when Robyn got married and Robyn says she thinks she was too young. They take a last photo of Robyn and the dress (not in the dress).

Karen is out shopping with Charrisse. She says she and Gizelle buried the hatchett. Karen says she suggested Gizelle meet with Charrisse as well and Charrisse snorts, because she is a barnyard animal. Ashley and Katie join them. Karen is getting her daughter a bathing suit and wants the girls to try them on. Ashley is having a whiskey tasting and invites Karen. Karen gives her the advice that respect of the hierarchy is everything if she wants to get ahead socially. In her individual interview, Ashley says she can learn a lot from Karen. Yeah, like how to be a ridiculous hypocrite.

Gizelle is going to the whiskey tasting and her elementary school daughters are helping her pick her outfit. Why not? Everyone on this show acts like they’re ten.

Katie and Andrew are going to a networking event to promote the foundation and she asks how she should introduce him. As finance maybe? She’s really obsessed with needing to be engaged.

Karen is aghast to see that the whiskey tasting is in a rustic bar. Ashley suggests she open her mind. Good luck with that. Robyn is surprised about the whiskey part since it “seems like a grown-up man thing.” Sigh. Maybe she should take advice from Gizelle’s kids too. Gizelle is also dressed up and complains that she has to walk down a whole flight of stairs. Charrisse claims she likes to make the best of every situation as she adjusts her tiara. I’d believe that from Karen first.

This looks like a lot of fun, with some light appetizers in between, but these ladies clearly are not whiskey drinkers. Uh-oh. Gizelle must be getting drunk because she tells Karen how much she appreciated their talk and then turns to Charrisse. Charrisse says she feels like Karen disrespected her in her home. Whatever. Gizelle says she already apologized. Double whatever. Karen jumps in and decides to tell them how it’s done in the hood…I mean, in Potomac.

Katie and Andrew get a cocktail and work the room. Katie says there’s a lot of pressure on her to make the foundation a philanthropic force. They’re having a casino night and are basically drumming up supporters. Someone asks if they’re engaged and Andrew says not yet. Katie says you have to be married to be taken seriously in Philanthropy World because she lives in a land of veils and bouquets.

Ashley says Gizelle and Charrisse are acting like five-year-olds, but then proceeds to pick on Gizelle. I look away for a second and Gixelle and Charrisse are hugging. What? Ashley says, see what a little whiskey can do? and that explains it.

Andrew and Katie rehash the event at home. She wants Andrew to braid her hair like the guy did in 50 Shades of Grey. It fails miserably. They talk children and she doesn’t like the way he’s joking around. She says she’s a woman with three children and needs to know if he’s taking things seriously. He tells her that if she wouldn’t have brought up getting engaged for the past six months, they would have been engaged already. Katie doesn’t seem to understand this.

Well, I understand and he seems very controlling. I get that he’s tired of hearing it, but if his love is based on her behavior, he doesn’t really love her and she should run in the other direction. If this is how he’s dealing with her needs now, I highly doubt he’s going to be on board with for better or worse.

Next week, Charrisse questions her marriage and someone is declaring bankruptcy — I think Robyn.

Honestly, Bravo scraped the bottom of the barrel with this one. Cleveland, anyone? Portland maybe?

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

The girls are going to Jamaica, so Porsha hired a stylist. Because she can’t possibly do something as difficult as picking out a swimsuit on her own.

Cynthia is psyched for shooting the commercial. Peter is coming too (ugh!). Nene is also coming, but the others don’t know it. This ought to go over really big. Cynthia has decided to go with Kim as director for the commercial, but hasn’t told Kenya yet. She’s counting on Kenya being understanding, which is not too likely. Cynthia is not going to win a popularity contest on this trip.

Kenya’s boyfriend, Matt, is coming along. Since they were together on Watch What Happens Live tonight, I assume things went well. Kim is hauling all her kids along. At least Cynthia got a surprise too. Sheree’s ex-husband, Bob, is also joining them. Are they getting back together?

Porsha and Phaedra make a lot of sexual remarks on the bus going to the hotel, and I wonder if Kim brought ear plugs for her kids. Somehow Cynthia starts talkig to Kenya about Kim directing the commercial, which is something that should be discussed privately. Kim says they need to work it out betwixt themselves and points out that she used that word.

Cynthia and Peter have arrived a day early and great everyone in the hotel lobby. This is Peter’s native land, so he seems to actually have some energy. Everyone has a gorgeous suite and they’re all pretty excited. Bob is obviously trying to get with Sheree, but she isn’t having any…yet.

Back in Atlanta, Kandi asks Todd if he thinks they’re missing out. Todd says the trip is probably extra cool because Peter can show everyone off the beaten path stuff.
Kim meets Cynthia outside and tells her that she’s shaved more off the budget. Kenya joins them. Cynthia tells Kenya she was pressed for time and liked Kim’s idea, but she’d still like Kenya to be involved. Kenya says it was disrespectful not to at least hear her pitch. Cynthia says Kenya didn’t show at the pitch meeting. Kenya says if the shoe had been on the other foot, she still would have listened to Cynthia’s ideas. She says Kim is also wrong about the producer and director always being the same.

Kenya tells Kim she feels like Kim is alienating her from Cynthia. Kenya asks how many commercials Kim has done. Kim says it doesn’t matter as Kenya isn’t the client. Kenya says Kim is just saying that because she hasn’t done any. Kenya says if Kim wants to discuss her experience, to put it on the table. They start to talk over each other about growing up, which is kind of ironic. Kenya starts to make Facts of Life references and says Kim is tired. Kenya gets a little weird and pulls Kim’s chair out with her in it. Kim decides to disengage and Kenya applauds her for best exit.

Kenya tells Cynthia she was willing to work with Kim and what happened was unfair. Cynthia tells Kenya that what she did was not cool.

Phaedra doesn’t get why Kim brought her kids along with her sitter, and wonders why the sitter couldn’t sit with the kids at home. Me too.

Kim tells her husband about what happened with Kenya. Kim gets pretty worked up over the whole thing. She says had Kenya touched her, they would have seen another side of her. Her husband tells her to slow her roll, and that she took the bait. He says to let Kenya be wrong. He seems very smart and supportive.

Cynthia and Peter meet with Nene and Greg. They all have a cocktail and Cynthia tells them about what happened with Kenya and Kim. Nene tells her to just move on.
Kenya is bummed out about going to dinner. She thinks Cynthia’s decision was based on Kim’s dislike of her. Matt says they said they’d go, so they should go.

The girls are already at the table when Cynthia and Peter make a grand entrance with Nene and Greg. Some are glad; some, not so much. Oddly enough, only Porsha has the smarts to remember that Nene and Cynthia were not on good terms like yesterday.
Peter thanks everyone for coming. Porsha says that Nene kept the secret very well. Nene says Cynthia wants her to be involved with the commercial. They all joke about wanting to be in the “mercial,” but Kenya isn’t having any. Peter wants to know what’s up and Kenya says she’d rather die in several different ways than talk about it.

Kim talks about how she’s tried to be nice about everything and while she’s talking, Kenya and Matt leave the table and walk away. A few of the ladies talk about Kenya and Cynthia being BFFs, but Nene says that’s not possible and asks Cynthia if that’s the case. Cynthia says not really and again Porsha is the voice of reason, saying Cynthia is a flip-flopper.

Peter says to move the BFF along because they have plans for the morning.

This place is so awesome, I’d be glad not to be involved in the commercial and just sit in a lounge chair being served umbrella drinks by cabana boys.

Sheree comes to Nene’s room. We flash back to some good and bad times with them over the seasons. Sheree says they’ve always had mutual respect, and Nene says she’s glad they moved past the past. Nene asks Sheree how everyone took her arrival. Sheree says they were all surprised.

Cynthia, who lives her life with blinders on and so would I if I was married to Peter, still thinks everything is cool with Kenya. Nene tells Sheree that with Kenya, it’s a BFFN, best friends for now. She says had it been her, she would have been understanding, but I wonder about that. By the pool, Porsha tells Phaedra that Oliver (from a few episodes ago) called her and they talk dirty about them for a while.

At home, Kandi is having a family dinner. She says that she’s not really sorry she missed the trip, since whenever they go somewhere, there’s drama. Kandi and Todd talk about a nanny. She says her mom will be able to babysit, it’s the least she can do since Kandi bought her a house. Todd says she’s not going to want to deal with a baby all the time at her age.

Someone is banging on Cynthia’s door. It’s her sister, Malorie. Peter arranged it, so maybe he has changed. Sheree, who must be traveling room to room, visits Kenya. Kenya says Kim’s boring voice droning on compelled her to leave dinner early. She also says she’s glad she didn’t know Nene was showing up or she might not have come.

Sheree asks Kenya if she considers Cynthia a best friend. When Kenya says yes, Sheree stirs the pot by telling her about the conversation when she left. She says Cynthia is throwing Kenya shade because she’s friends with Nene again.

Kenya goes to Cynthia’s room and after saying hello to Mal, asks to speak to Cynthia alone. Kenya says she was flabbergasted to hear Cynthia said they weren’t friends. Cynthia says she considers Kenya a close friend but not a best friend. Kenya says she’s hurt and that after she was replaced on the commercial, she was replaced in Cynthia’s friend circle

Next week, the commercial moves forward and Sheree tells Kim there are rumors that her husband is gay.

January 29, 2016 — GH x 2 + Chefs x 2 + 1 Unfriend + 3 Quotes

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital – Thursday

Sam comes into the hospital. Franco is at the desk and asks her if she’d like to go for coffee.

Elizabeth is trying to get Jake to do something normal, but since he’s gone to the darkside, he doesn’t want to. Jason stops by. Elizabeth says it was an uneventful night.

Morgan wants to move out of the friend zone with Kiki, but she says she’s working and doesn’t want to talk about it right now.

The hospital commissioner tells Anna and Robert she’s never met the couple who was scheduled. She tells them the fake names that Carrrlos and Sabrrrina gave the hospital. Since they weren’t too creative, the last name is Rivera and Anna and Robert know it’s them immediately. They ask for any information the commissioner has.

Sabrrrina says that after what happened to Gabriel, she’s not getting in a car. Carrrlos has to take a call. It’s Paul, who tells him that he’d best not call, write or send smoke signals, because if Anna doesn’t catch him, Sonny will.

The commissioner says she can’t give out patient information or the clinic can get into trouble. Anna and Robert tell her that Carrrlos is a murdering fugitive who has Sabrrrina as a hostage.

Paul says Carrrlos needs to disappear now. Carrrlos says Sabrrrina can’t travel and he’s not going without her. He says that Paul had better hope Anna doesn’t catch him, or he won’t be the only one going to prison.

Sonny’s steps weren’t exactly legit. He was just holding himself up. He gets all stupid and feeling sorry for himself. Carly says she knows he’s impatient, but it’s still fantastic that he can stand. Sonny tells Carly not to tell anyone, especially the kids.

Morgan says he and Kiki share a bond. She says they do, but it’s better as friends. He says he’s dug deep in therapy and he knows what he wants and it’s her. That’s right. What it takes most people years to do, he’s done in only two sessions. Now I want to ask him if he’s taking his meds.

Sam says the courts might have given Franco a free pass, but she never will. She says she has bigger problems than him, and he says yeah, like Elizabeth.

Jake gives Jason a picture he drew and says Jason should hang it above where he and mom sleep. Jason is like, we’ve been over this already, and Jake asks him if he’s moving back in.

Sonny makes Carly promise not to tell what she thinks she saw. He says she takes something she wants to happen and makes it a reality in her head. He says a whole bunch of ridiculous things about people encouraging him because he’s weak. He tells Carly she has to respect his choice.

Jason once again tells Jake that he loves him, but he and Elizabeth aren’t getting married and he’s not moving in. Jake wants to know the details, but Elizabeth says it’s a grown-up thing.

Franco says Sam should be more gracious in her victory and cut Elizabeth some slack. He also tells her that she doesn’t have a monopoly on redemption. He says he’s trying to help Elizabeth. Sam suggests he’s the one breaking in.

The commissioner says all they have is the couple’s name. She says the appointment was made through their online booking system. Anna says she needs the IP address and Robert wants to talk to the clinic’s IT guy. Anna’s phone rings and it’s Paul asking if she misses him.

Carrrlos says Sabrrrina is his hero. He admires how she left everything to go with him and says they’re going to have an amazing life. He says he’s put away some money over the years in a Grand Keys account. He says they can go there and make a personal withdrawal. He says it’s warm, tropical and beautiful and they can stay there as long as she wants. I’m totally ready to go.

Anna asks if everything is ok. Paul says, you tell me. He asks if she’s in Berkeley right now and she says yes.

Sabrrrina says she realizes love is all that matters.

Carly says she won’t tell anyone on one condition. She wants to know if his pride is keeping him from accepting help. She doesn’t want his progress impeded because he wants to do it himself. He says Epiphany is up to speed.

Morgan says he’s just poured his heart out and deserves an explanation as to why Kiki is blowing him off. She says she doesn’t know him anymore. She says whenever she sees him, she has to wonder which Morgan she’s getting that day.  She says she has enough uncertainty in her life and can’t be with a stranger. Is he going to get stupid now? He takes disappointment about as well as Sonny does.

Jason asks Elizabeth if therapy is helping Jake at all. She says it seems to be and he asks if he should come in for the next session. Elizabeth says not until the doctor thinks it’s time. Jason says he’ll just concentrate on his own therapy right now then.  He says he’s about to start hypnosis. Elizabeth asks why, and Jason tells her he had another memory. She’s pretty disappointed to find out it was about him and Sam.

Franco doesn’t know what Sam is talking about. Sam tells him about Jake’s New Year’s Eve scare and the break-in. He says that kind of stuff is beneath him and Sam says maybe Elizabeth was behind him doing it.

Franco asks exactly what she’s accusing him of. He says he likes his life and doesn’t want Jason or anyone else to screw with it. He adds that Elizabeth wouldn’t terrorize her own children and Jake has enough problems.

Elizabeth gets nosy about Jason’s memory. He tells her about it and she says it sounds like he’s making progress. He says he hopes the hypnosis will push him through. She says even though she didn’t want him to remember before, but she does now. Not for his sake of course, but she wants him to know that she’s not all bad. She says despite what’s happened, she’s his friend. With friends like that, etc.

Sonny says he has to do things on his own terms. Carly says she won’t tell anyone. She says that he’s too arrogant for her to pity him. He says thanks for believing in him and Carly says she always has. Max has to talk to Sonny, so Carly leaves. Sonny tells Max he lied to Carly about not getting his legs back, when he is.

Paul tells Anna that they need to talk about her future. She says she realizes she took some personal time, but is she doing that badly at her job? He says it doesn’t seem to be working for either one of them, but he wants to arrange it so it does. When Anna hangs up, she tells Robert that Paul is on to her.

Sabrrrina says Carrrlos must want a boy, but he says wrong, he’s just hoping for a healthy baby, but if he had his wish it would be a daughter. He could love and spoil her and she’d never have to be lonely or afraid and would never know the mistakes he made. Sabrrrina says it will be fine until she’s a teenager and they make some silly things up about the boys she’d date. Carrrlos says maybe when she’s in her 30s, she’ll meet someone who’s almost good enough for her. Sabrrrina asks what if it’s a boy? Carrrlos says he’ll learn that character is the most important thing and his life will mean something. Sabrrrina says she thinks it’s time to push.

Morgan says Kiki is right and that he doesn’t even know himself. He says he’s learning to live with his illness day by day and is starting to feel like a normal person. He says they can be friends, but he thinks they’re just hiding their true feelings.

Sam asks Franco what’s up with Jake. He says if Jakes parents want to tell her, that’s one thing, but he’s not telling her anything. He says she has issues to work out but making a scapegoat of Elizabeth isn’t going to help

Elizabeth says she’s really not a terrible person and she doesn’t want Jason to hate her. He says he doesn’t; she’s the mother of his son and that’s who they need to focus on right now. Elizabeth has to go to work, but the sitter is late. Jake says he’ll stay until she gets there.

Boom! The baby’s here. Sabrrrina asks if it’s a boy or a girl, and Carrrlos doesn’t say anything. She asks for the baby and when he still doesn’t respond, she knows something is wrong.

Anna says she knows what Paul is implying and she has to go back and do damage control. Robert says the phone was traced to a hotel and they’re getting Carrrlos once and for all.

Sonny says the only ones who know are Max and Epiphany. Max says that’s not fair to Carly. Sonny says he doesn’t want his enemies to know he’s improving. He says he doesn’t want Carly involved in the business, even in keeping secrets. Max asks what the plan is. Sonny says when he’s on his feet, he’s taking back the city and getting rid of the unsavory elements, which sounds funny coming from him. He says to let them think he’s helpless, weak and trapped in the chair, and one day they’ll be in for a surprise.

Kiki says she’s proud of Morgan and can’t wait to see which Morgan he becomes. She says she’s not ready for a relationship, but she’ll go on a date with him. No expectations.

Max tells Sonny about that the guns Raj is moving are high grade military weapons.  Sonny wonders why Ava is involved. He says she’s putting Avery in danger and he’s not letting his baby girl get hurt.

Anna and Robert bust into the hotel room, but Sabrrrina and Carrrlos are gone.  As they’re about to leave, two cops barrel in with their guns drawn.

Jason looks at Jake’s drawings. They all seem normal until he gets to the last one, which is the drawing of Sam. Franco is also looking through Jakes drawings in his medical folder. They’re all weird. Jason trips down Memory Lane in his head and realizes the drawing is of Sam. Jake asks if he likes the pictures.

Tomorrow, Jason questions Jake about the picture and Lulu asks for help getting Dante back.

Random Thought

I don’t know what it is, but I’m just not into American Idol this time around. Did it start happening when we lost Simon? Randy? Stephen Tyler? Did it happen when they stopped showing us the worst of the worst? That was actually the best. Was it that they just couldn’t top season 10? Scotty McCreery for the win, Haley Reinhart who I loved to hate, and Lady Gaga playing at the part where they bring in the celebrities. Maybe it was all downhill from there. Or maybe since I know it’s the final go around, I just don’t want to invest any more time.

Regardless, although I’m only half-watching, it’s always hard to say good-bye to an institution. Idols, we salute you.

Unfriended

Occasionally, I’ll write about a movie I’ve seen that’s exceptional. This is one of them.

The title is somewhat unfortunate. When I first heard it, I figured the movie would be some kind of cheap stalker film like Swimfan. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but it couldn’t be further from the truth. I’d previously read that it was better than its title, and had been shown at Sundance under the title Cybernatural.

This is a real ghost story in every sense of the word. What makes the film unique is that It all takes place on a computer screen, there’s no action outside of that. For some reason, this makes it even more frightening. Maybe because I spend so much time on here.

A group of friends is video chatting and a stranger joins them. A stranger with only an icon for a face. Our POV is that of the main character, Blaire, and we go through her discovery that the stranger is a dead friend, one that committed suicide because of cyber-bullying.  It’s eventually revealed that this ghost is going to pick them off one by one.

What I really loved about this film was how real the computer screen seemed. It’s totally plausible how Blaire is going through her social media — Facebook, video chat, YouTube and text chat – as well as clicking on links she receives through them. No Twitter is used. I’m guessing because that’s such a public forum, and we’re made to feel that the characters are trapped in their private world. Even the way Blaire’s cursor moves around is incredibly real, and the way she writes messages, changing her mind about what she’s going to say and hesitating to hit send.

There’s a minimal amount of gore, again seen only on the computer screen. It’s made all the more creepy because we rarely see anything clearly with pixels breaking up.

So much better than I thought it would be, Unfriended captured and held my attention all the way through. The premise is unique, the story is intense and the acting is superb. It’s on HBO rotation now, and I highly recommend giving it a look. Although you might not want to get online for a while afterwards.

 General Hospital – Friday

Dante is about to sign the divorce papers, when Mayor Lomax knocks on the door. She wants to have a conversation away from the public. She insists on Dante getting Olivia to drop the lawsuit.

Alexis is going over the case with Olivia. She says she expects a lot of supporters, and she hopes the mayor doesn’t fill the audience with her lackeys. Olivia is surprised that people watch a trial because she lives at the MetroCourt and has no clue as to how the outside world works.

Lulu asks Maxie to help her get Dante back.

Christina is packing her suitcase to fake going back to school. Sam tells her she should tell Alexis she’s been suspended and that she isn’t going to be able to keep it up forever. Christina says she’ll get an apartment and a job and go back next semester. Sam tells Christina she had a distressing conversation with Franco. Christina asks why she’s even speaking to Franco, and Sam says she had to talk to him because of Jake.

Franco tells Elizabeth that art therapy might help Jake with his feelings. He suggests they start today. Elizabeth asks why it’s so urgent.

Jason asks Jake who the woman in his drawing is supposed to be, although he has a pretty good idea already that it’s Sam.

Dante tells the mayor he knows all about what happened and he supports Olivia 100%. She says that she’s had her mind on budget cuts. He asks if she’s threatening him with his job. She says that would be unethical, but she was looking over his folder and sees that he’s involved with the Big Brother program. The one for kids, not the reality show. She says a lot of the funding comes from the city, and that protecting the program would be quid pro quo. He says she can’t buy him and to get out before he reports her. She wonders how his wife stays with him. How is she totally out of that loop?

Lulu says Dante thinks there’s no way back because of what they’ve discovered about themselves – he cheated and she sought revenge – and doesn’t want it spilling over on Rocco. Lulu tells Maxie about how Valerie called it quits before the whole Johnny debacle happened. She says she came to realize that one act doesn’t define their marriage. Lulu tells Maxie she has a plan to surprise Dante at the loft, but she stupidly threw away her key when she got mad.  Maxie says she’s on thin ice with Nathan , but she would still borrow the key if she knew where it was. She says she knows someone else with a key though.

Olivia says everyone is staring at her and they are. She says they’re not looking at her face either. She says when she gets a cancelation, she wonders if it’s because of the lawsuit. She thinks maybe she didn’t think things through and that she s not sure if she wants to be the poster child for public breastfeeding.

A woman, who obviously recognizes Olivia, approaches their table. Alexis tries to stop her from speaking, but she says Olivia needs to know something from her.

Franco tells Elizabeth that someone else was concerned about Jake’s artwork. She asks who and if he spoke to the therapist.  After hemming & hawing, Franco tells Elizabeth he talked to Sam about the drawings.

Christina asks why Sam was discussing Jake with Franco. She says she thought maybe Franco was in cahoots with Elizabeth, but they ended up talking about Jake. Franco let slip Jake is in therapy, but wouldn’t tell her why. Christina tells Sam to mind her own business and not get involved with Elizabeth’s kid drama.

Jake waffles on who the woman in the drawing is and settles on it’s just a bad woman he made up. Jason says Jake can always tell him anything and asks again who it is.

The stranger says what Olivia is doing is wonderful. She says she would have liked to do the same in her day and thanks Olivia for standing up for a basic right for all mothers. The entire place applauds, and we see where Dante got his jumping to conclusions from. Alexis says they’ll get support, but there will also be antagonists. Olivia realizes the lawsuit isn’t just for her, because she lives in the same bubble that Glinda the Good Witch of the North lives in. Alexis says they’ll win, assuming Olivia is still on board and Olivia says hell yes.

Alexis leaves and Lulu sits down. She tells Olivia she needs help in saving her marriage. Olivia says she’s disappointed in her.

Dante says he knows what the mayor is doing and that she’d like him to do something stupid, but his mother’s lawsuit is going to take care of everything. He tells her again to get out and she’s says he’s a lousy husband and a rotten son, because she doesn’t know he’s really a cheating, waffling loser.

Jason asks again about the picture. Jake now insists it’s a bad woman from a video game. Jason asks to see the game and Jake says he doesn’t remember which one it is. Jason says again that Jake can tell him anything and asks if he can take the picture. Jake asks if he’s mad. Jason says no, the picture is just interesting and if Jake remembers more, to tell him. Someone is at the door. It’s the sitter, and of course Jake whines for Jason to stay.

Elizabeth asks if Sam told him she suspects that Elizabeth broke into her own house. Franco tells her she suspected him too. Franco keeps trying to tell her something about Jake, but she won’t hear it. She says she’s not discussing Jake with him and he’d better not discuss her son with anyone else.

Christina says Sam is just going to make trouble for herself. Sam asks if Christina thought she was treated unfairly with being suspended and is there something she’s not talking about. Christina says Sam knows everything , and repeats what happened to catch everyone up. Sam isn’t buying it that’s all there is to the story.

Olivia says she tried to tell Dante that they should work things out. Lulu tells her about the key. She says if Olivia wants to help save their marriage, she needs the loft key.

Sam tells Christina to call her if she needs anything and that Sam has her back. She adds she’s going to take Christina’s advice. She says Elizabeth is so manipulative, it will backfire; she’ll hold it against Sam and try to get Jason to do the same. Christina says Elizabeth is the type of woman who acts all helpless when they’re really yanking the guy’s chain. Sam says she’s going to talk to Elizabeth. Like that’s ever helped before.

The sitter is covered with silly string. She goes to the bathroom to clean up and Jake examines a marble coaster carefully.

Jason comes to the hospital and says he needs to talk to Elizabeth. He shows her the drawing. He says Jake told him at first it was a real person, and then said it was a video game character. He thinks Jake lying to him is cause for concern and they need to get him help right away. Franco hears him and seconds the motion.

Dante tells Olivia that she and Alexis must be doing a good job, because the mayor tried to get him to talk her out of the lawsuit. He also wants to know if she’s been bothering Olivia. Olivia says no, and asks what else is up. Dante asks if she’s seen Lulu.

Lulu and Maxie go to the loft. Lulu asks Maxie to set a romantic stage. Maxie says she could do that herself, so why is she really there? Lulu wants her opinion about a red slip dress she has on under her coat. Maxie says it’s beautiful even if it isn’t this season. Lulu says it’s the dress she was wearing when she told Dante she was pregnant. She says they went through a lot of heartache trying to have a baby, but finally got Rocco. She wants to remind him of the good in their lives and how they achieved something when they worked together. Maxie says Lulu definitely has a chance. They start getting the candles out.

Maxie opens a drawer and the divorce papers are there.

Alexis gets home before Christina leaves. She says it makes her sad when Christina to see her go. She says she wishes it was like when Christina was little and they were close. Alexis tells Christina she can always tell her anything

Jason asks Franco if he’s been eavesdropping. Franco says he knows Jake needs help. Jason tells him to butt out and he says fine, he tried. Elizabeth stops him from leaving and the three of them go into a private room. She asks Franco what he was trying to tell her. Franco shows them the folder with the morbid drawings.

Jake is looking out a broken window. I assume he used the coaster. He deliberately (?) cuts himself on the jagged glass. Or maybe he’s just stupid and wanted to check how sharp it was. There’s a knock at the door and it’s Sam. She asks him what happened to his hand.

Olivia tells Dante that Lulu was there with Maxie earlier. She asks if he has any thoughts on what they’d discussed earlier. He says he had the divorce papers drawn up. Olivia says she meant for him to think about it for more than 10 minutes. He says he didn’t do anything with them yet and Olivia says give it time.

Lulu says Dante hasn’t signed the papers, so there’s still a chance for him to change his mind. She tells Maxie to work her magic on the atmosphere.

Christina tells Alexis some baloney about how she supports Alexis’s marriage to Julian and she’s happy for her even if her dad isn’t. Alexis says she knows something else is going on. Christina says no, that’s it, and she hopes Alexis’s good luck rubs off on her in the love department. Alexis tells her she can bring a date to the wedding.

Jake says someone threw a rock through the window. Sam asks if he saw someone throw the rock. He says yes, but Sam says there’s no rock and there’s no glass on the floor, so it came from inside the house.

Franco says it doesn’t take an expert to see Jake is upset about something. Jason says he’s not a doctor. Franco says no, but he’s an artist and he knows that Jake is in distress. He says pictures that show this much anxiety and rage mean he’s already acting out.

Sam tries to talk to Jake and he runs downstairs to the basement.

The mayor approaches Olivia and Olivia asks how she dare shake Dante down. The mayor says she was merely visiting a city employee, and by the way, all city functions in the hotel are canceled until the lawsuit is settled. Olivia is like, you can’t do that, and the mayor says, you want a war, you got one.

Dante comes in to the loft. Lulu, standing there in her red dress, asks him if he remembers that night in August. He says yes, he does, and what is she doing there. She tells him trying to save their marriage.

Alexis says good-bye to Christina and leaves. As Christina opens the door, a woman is standing there. She addresses the woman as Parker and I go, oooh.

Jason says there’s never been an intruder; it’s Jake. He says Franco is right and that Jake needs a lot of help. I’m impressed that he got it this quickly. He’s no dummy.

Sam follows Jake, saying that no one will be mad at him. She falls down the stairs and lies unconscious at the bottom.

On Monday, Nina wants to help Olivia and Jake looms over Sam’s unconscious body. As much as a kid can loom anyway.

MasterChef Junior

It’s the finale and we’re down to 9-year-old Addison (Addy, who’s won more challenges than anyone else) and 9-year-old Avery. Family and friends are there to cheer the girls on. Brava, young ladies!

The first challenge is to make a 3-course dinner. I take a last, longing look at the pantry. Addy is going the pan Asian seafood route and Avery has chosen a Creole creation. They have 90 minutes. The heartland versus the bayou.

Uh-oh, Addy gets cut. I mean cut with a knife, not cut from the competition. She’s cool though. She falls a little behind, but sucks it up and soldiers on. When the girls get to creating their desserts, I almost go out of my mind because everything looks so fresh and delicious. OMG – Avery is “elevating” a strawberry rhubarb shortcake. I wouldn’t even know what to do with the rhubarb. These kids are just amazing, especially since the people in the gallery cheering them on are really boisterous.

Of course all the dishes are fabulous – even more so for 9-year-olds – and Gordon says it’s the closest it’s ever been.  Once again, it’s down to details I wouldn’t have a clue about. The judges switch places with the girls so that they can get some well deserved applause. I love how they never talk down to the kids and treat them with respect. They made the show fun for the junior contestants, but the challenges were just as tough as with the adult MasterChef.

MY GIRL ADDY WINS!!! I feel so proud. She gives props to Avery and says that either one of them would have deserved it today. I hope Avery takes that to heart. I’m sure she’s disappointed, but she’s already further ahead in her culinary skills than most of us could ever hope to be, even if we lived forever.

Well played, junior chefs!

Quotes of the Week from The People’s Couch

This whole thing is a nerdgasm. Blake referring to the return of The X-Files.

It’s never good when a guy’s holding his junk walking in. Joe Resnick, referring to an episode of Sex Sent Me to the ER.

Think of every great person on the planet. If they didn’t get yelled at they’d be average as hell. Lamont Zeno, referring to a contestant on Pitch Slapped.

 

January 27, 2016 — Port Charles & a Little Atlanta & L.A.

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Anna and Robert arrive in Canada.

Sabrrrina is going stir crazy in the hotel room and tells Carrrlos she’s not staying there another minute.

Morgan starts working at Corrinthos Coffee. Max asks how he’s doing. He says it’s not the job he wanted, but it’s a job. Darby shows up at the warehouse.

Kiki waits on Paul who gives her a huge tip. She asks if he’s giving it to her because of her mother.

Ava tells Carly she may not like it, but Avery is as much a part of Sonny’s family as hers and she wants to do what’s best for Avery.

Julian says he was foolish to think he could have a truce with Sonny. He says Sonny can hold a grudge if he wants, but he’s just going to live his life. Sonny tells him he has one more thing to tell him if he wants to live longer.

Darby tells Morgan he’s all sweaty and worked too hard on his first day. He asks why she’s really there. She says she brought pictures of the party he missed. He looks at her phone and says he really missed something, and she says maybe she can rectify that and kisses him.

Kiki says she assumed because she had seen Paul and Ava together, they were friends. Paul says Ava walked away from a murder charge because a piece of evidence disappeared, and if it ever reappears, he would be the one to have to prosecute, so they can’t be friends. He says they only see each other on a business level and he’s just a generous tipper.

Ava says Sonny will never see more of Avery than he does now. Ava says Carly manipulated Kiki into backing her up. Carly says Kiki made up her own mind and Ava doesn’t have a selfless bone in her body. Ava asks if the positions were reversed, would Sonny allowed her to see Avery? Carly says eventually the positions will be reversed and they’ll do what’s best for Avery. She says Ava sees Avery as a weapon. She says Ava doesn’t care about Avery’s happiness any more than she did with Kiki, but Avery won’t have to put up with it for as long.

Julian says he’s not interested in that life anymore. Sonny tells him he doesn’t buy it. Julian says he’s finally out and Sonny laughs. He says he can’t stop Alexis from marrying him, but he can bide his time.

The hospital commissioner in Halifax says they haven’t heard about anyone seeing Carrrlos and Sabrrrina. Anna tells her that Sabrrrina will be seeking medical attention soon, so please let the hospital staff know. Anna tells Robert that she thinks Sabrrrina would have wanted to be checked out after coming there on a freighter.

Sabrrrina says she’s done everything Carrrlos told her to so far, but she’s not putting her child in jeopardy. She says they can’t wait until the last minute to find a doctor and she’s not running any more. She tells him if he wants to continue on, go ahead, she’ll find her way back to Port Charles. She says after losing Gabriel she’s going to do whatever she needs to in order to make sure her baby is safe.

Paul and Ava enter the same elevator. He wants to know what she’s told Kiki about them.

Kiki texts Morgan, who is getting busy in the warehouse with Darby. He stops, telling Darby it’s not a good idea. He says his life is complicated enough right now. She says if he changes his mind, he knows where to find her. Sonny and Carly come in and Darby introduces herself on the way out. They wonder who the blip she is and when Morgan comes out, Carly gets a clue.

Ava says Kiki doesn’t know anything, but she saw them when Paul decided to stupidly give her the briefcase of money in public.  She says she told Kiki he had bought some art. Paul says she questioned his generous tip (how much was it?). He adds he’s recently had a problem with someone. Ava asks who, and he says it doesn’t matter, they’re gone now, and I’m wondering why he even brought it up.

Carrrlos shows Sabrrrina something on the phone, saying look what he did while she was sleeping. She gets super excited, thanks him and puts on her coat.

Anna goes over shooting Carrrlos with Robert. She says she thought she was getting justice for Duke. She says she still wants it and wants Carrrlos to testify against Julian, and put them both in prison.

Morgan says he didn’t invite Darby there, she just showed up. Carly asks what they were doing. He says the aroma of coffee beans took over and they had sex on the floor. Ha-ha! He really said that; I didn’t make that one up. Sonny is like, quit being ridiculous. Morgan says he stopped anything before it happened. Carly says she’s concerned. Morgan says there’s nothing to be concerned about. She starts giving him the meds third degree and he gets pretty pissed. I don’t blame him. At this point, she’s really getting overbearing with that. Sonny says Carly just loves him and wants what’s best for him.

Morgan says he’s obviously bi-polar, but he’s dealing with it. He says he’s trying to be a man about it, but to do that, they need to treat him like an adult and can’t be jumping to the worst conclusion all the time. Both Carly and Sonny say they can do that. Morgan says he wants their support, but ultimately he has to do this on his own. He goes to clean up, and Sonny tells Carly they can’t be the thing Morgan is fighting against and he has to make mistakes on his own. Carly says Morgan is just a kid and she wants to fix it for him.

Julian comes into the bar and tells Kiki about the church wedding he and Alexis are going to have. He says it’s important for them to have family there and asks if she’ll come. She says of course. He says he’s come to realize that family is everything and he wants her, Ava and Avery to share in their joy. He asks how it’s going with her and Ava. Kiki says Ava seemed to actually listen to her, but her mom always manages to disappoint her.

Ava asks what’s up with Paul because he seems “off.” He asks how well she knows Anna. Ava asks if Anna is going to be a problem. He says no, and gets out of the elevator. I dunno about that.

Robert says once they get Carrrlos, it’s the beginning of the end for Paul. Anna says Julian is more of a priority. The commissioner comes in with some information for them, and my mouth falls open when Carrrlos and Sabrrrina walk in the door behind them. I guess he’d made an appointment for her and that’s what was on the phone.

While Anna and Robert are busy with the commissioner, Carrrlos and Sabrrrina back away and out into the hallway. The commissioner says no one has seen them. Anna reminds her to spread the picture around and thanks Robert for helping her.  They do a little Memory Lane stuff.

Ava sees Kiki and asks how it’s going. She says fine and that Julian is waiting for Ava. Ava tells her that she thought about letting Sonny and Carly have extended time with Avery, but she’s not going to do it. She says their animosity makes her not able to trust them. Kiki says the supervised visits have gone well, and Ava says these won’t be supervised. Kiki says she’s disappointed, but respects Ava’s choice.

Ava sits down with Julian. Julian tells her about his conversation with Sonny. Morgan walks in and Julian is like, uh-oh, but Ava says she feels nothing for him anymore, but she doesn’t want him hurting Kiki.

Morgan tells Kiki how his first day at work went, leaving out the Darby part. He says he’s come to a decision.

Carly tells Sonny about her discussion with Ava and how Kiki backed her up. Then she tells him how Ava made it seem like she was going to let Avery visit and then pulled the rug out from under her. That was pretty mean. Sonny says they’ll get Avery back. Carly ask how long it’s going to take. Sonny says they have an airtight case. Carly asks why they’re not hiring a private investigator and Sonny says that could backfire. Carly has an emergency at the hotel and has to leave. Sonny tells her to stay cool like John Travolta.

When she leaves, Sonny practices his standing moves.

Sabrrrina and Carrrlos return to the room and she asks him why they left because he’s said nothing since then. Carrrlos says they can’t go back; he saw someone. She says they need to find another hospital then.

Morgan says when he got Kiki’s text, even though he’d taken his meds, he felt good and like he was thinking clearly. He says she’s not only his friend, but she’s his best friend and that she’s always there for him. He says he wants them to go back to being more than friends.

Julian says Sonny thinks he’s still in the business. He says the past year with Alexis has been the best in his life and whatever Ava is doing, stop doing it, because he thinks she’s somehow tied up in Sonny’s reasoning.

Carly comes in as Sonny is taking a step.

The commissioner says a couple that was supposed to come in missed their apt and it was for prenatal care.

Carrrlos says they have to go, but Sabrrrina says they can’t. The baby is coming.

Tomorrow, Sam accuses Franco of being behind the break-ins, Sonny is still standing and Sabrrrina gets ready to push.

Random Thought

My girls are back! Little Women: LA begins their new season tonight and I’m excited. I’ll be watching the new franchise effort, Little Women: Atlanta, first, since I don’t want to miss Hell’s Kitchen, but I’ll catch the later airing of LA. Do you think Atlanta will have a little Nene?

Little Women: Atlanta

We start with Emily and Bri, best friends, aka Right and Left Cheek, respectively. Don’t ask. Emily has a daughter, Ava, who is of average height. Bri has a son, Malik, and a baby daddy she lives with (but doesn’t have a relationship with – what?) who doesn’t want to commit.

Amanda and Andrea, the tiny twins, are in Atlanta and apparently they’re a big deal. Bri and Emily were friends with them until the twins tried to take over their territory. The girls are concerned that the twins will be at the same club they are tonight.

Hey, it’s Tonya from LA! She’s helping Ms. Juicy to judge a twerking contest. Lots of twerk talk follows.

Ms. Juicy introduces Bri and Emily to Tonya. Minnie, aka Momma Bear, joins them. She’s a hairdresser, so she has all the gossip. Monie is her best client and best friend. Minnie says there’s been drama between her and Ms. Juicy, but she’s there to support her girls.

Bri and Emily tell Ms. Juicy about how the twins were rude to them. There’s discussion about the twins and Ms. Juicy says they must be some bad bitches. Here they come now. Everyone braces for drama.

The twins have moved to Atlanta from Dallas because they heard the club scene was popping. They dance in clubs for big bucks. One of the twins has a little person son that she can’t bring with her for some reason. Probably because she’s busy dancing at clubs and promoting her career.

Monie says Bri and Emily have been trash talking the twins. Ms. Juicy tries to stop everything in its tracks. Good luck with that. Ms. Juicy announces the twerking contest. I’m afraid to look. The twerking commences. The tiny twins are the winners, which pisses off Bri and Emily, who says it isn’t over. Now I’m really scared.

The twins chat outside with Monie and Minnie. They’re proud at how quickly they’ve made good in Atlanta. Emily and Bri join them. They trade some little person insults. Then they start getting into family insults. Emily says her mother is dead and Andrea says she doesn’t give a flying. Minnie says enough and the cheeks say deuces.

The twins hate being away from their family and call home. Their mom misses them too and everyone tears up. They say they didn’t want to leave, but the club opportunities weren’t happening in Texas. Andrea or the other one, whoever has the kid, says she has a lot of medical bills to cover. My sympathies are totally with her there. Andrea says she feels badly about what she said about Emily’s mom.

Bri is chilling with her baby daddy, her son and Emily. She tells baby daddy about the twins. She says she can’t argue with stupid and that Minnie stuck up for the twins. She says little people should stick together and she doesn’t think the twins should be excluded, but Minnie didn’t need to jump ship. She says the twins probably won’t last long in Atlanta.

Minnie says being both little and Black is a tough road. She’s cooking dinner when her mom gets home. Her mom pumps her for information about Minnie’s secret boyfriend, Michael “Pastor” Troy, a rap artist. She’s been dating him for months, but hasn’t said anything. Her mom barrages her with questions and says she’s going to google him. After flattering her, Minnie asks her mom for the car.

Ms. Juicy meets the cheeks for lunch. They fill her in on their altercation with the twins and Emily says Andrea made remarks about her dead mother. Ms. Juicy says the twins shouldn’t get leadership from Minnie because she lies all the time. She says supposedly Pastor Troy has been her boyfriend for eight months, but that’s not the case. She says she knows a rat when she smells one and Minnie is a bear maybe, but she’s no mama. She says she’s not throwing shade, but that’s debatable.

Minnie and Monie go to the sauna, which I guess is like a spa. The twins come in behind them. Minnie has also invited Emily and Bri. This is Minnie’s plan to get everyone together and be kumbaya. Emily is seriously not thrilled, especially when Andrea wants to talk to her.

Andrea apologizes. She says she didn’t know Emily’s mother had died. Emily asks what kind of person says they don’t give a flying. She says her mother died on her 16th birthday. Andrea apologizes again. Emily accepts and says they’re cool. In her individual interview, Emily says they’re cool right now, but eventually all little people are competition. Geez, I thought they all stuck together. It’s both difficult and contrary in little world.

They all reconvene in a room that looks lodgelike. Minnie talks about her boyfriend and Emily says Ms. Juicy said they weren’t really together. Bri says she told them Minnie is really just a fangirl who’s crushing and dreaming.  Minnie is hurt and says Juicy is jealous. Emily is like, well, we’ve never met him and Juicy seemed pretty sure. Minnie says Juicy doesn’t know what she’s talking about.

Lontel is Emily’s boyfriend of three years. She tells him her pregnancy test was positive. She says he doesn’t look happy, and he says that’s because he’s not. Emily says they’ve been trying for a while, but he says he doesn’t care and none of this makes sense. He talks about them both cheating on each other. She asks what if it’s a little person. He says he wouldn’t like it, but whatever happens, happens. In her individual interview, Emily says she can’t imagine life without him and I don’t have a clue as to why. He basically tells her that he doesn’t care about her.

Emily cries in the bathroom and then tells Lontel to get out. He doesn’t want to leave and she asks if she has to “call the laws” on him again. Obviously this is a great relationship. Finally he leaves and Emily is alone and crying.

This season, Emily’s pregnancy marches on, Minnie feels empty because of her father and accuses Monie of changing, Juicy confronts Minnie and gets a drink thrown on her and there are lots of catfights.

Little Women: LA

Jasmine is having a mommy cocktail party. She says she’s glad Briana introduced her to the girls. Tonya has been putting her concentration into her businesses, as she broke up with her boyfriend last season. Christy’s daughter just had leg stretching surgery, so she and Todd have put off having another baby. She’s not getting along with Briana, but she says she’s going to grin and bear it. Terra has been busy with baby Penny’s medical issues.

Christy asks if Terra has heard from Elena. Terra wonders if she was invited. Even though she isn’t a mom, none of their kids are there and she’s a close friend. Christy says she hasn’t talked to Briana since Hawaii. The final straw was Briana saying Todd had been texting her when it was the other way around.

Christy talks about Autumn’s leg surgery and they discuss surgery a little. Jasmine says she’s never had anything except elective surgery, but with her type of dwarfism, she lacks hair and needs to wear false eyelashes and wants to help other women who have that issue.

Tonya suggests that they do something daring and go motocross riding on dirt bikes. Briana says she can’t drive one and Jasmine says they’ll put her in bubble wrap.

Elena has been working on a makeup line. Today she’s seeing the sample.  She wants to have a preview party with her friends and family. She’s doing Terra’s makeup, and Terra tells her about Jasmine wanting to do an eyelash line. Elena says she didn’t even know about Jasmine’s party. Terra tries to defend Jasmine, saying that it was just a gathering for moms. Elena thinks that Jasmine is being a single white female and thinks it’s weird that her eyelashes are coming out at the same time as Elena’s palettes.

Christy is cleaning out her closet. Christy’s mom is staying with them to help out with Autumn’s recovery. Todd had a child with his ex-wife, but the baby died and they keep the ashes in a pink basket in the closet. He said he wouldn’t scatter the ashes until he had his own child with Christy. Contrary to last season, Christy’s mom says that if Christy has or adopts a child, she’s behind her 100%.

Briana is tired of everyone attacking her because Matt doesn’t have a job, when he moved out to L.A. to be with her and left the job he had. Nonetheless, she’d like it if he had a job. Jasmine asks if she feels like she rushed into the marriage. Briana says no. Jasmine asks about the frustration level with Matt not working. She thinks Briana should discuss it with him.

Todd and Christy sneak out to a frozen yogurt place. Their house is feeling crowded. Todd wonders if they should try artificial insemination again, but Christy says it wreaked havoc on her health. She says they tried for a year with no success, and the only way she wants a child is to adopt now. Todd says he wants to raise a child with her and any one they have will be loved. They decide to give adoption a try.

Matt and Briana are out for lunch. Briana wants to talk to him about looking for work without hurting his feelings. She blurts out that she needs him to be looking for a job. She says she needs a break from him sometimes, and she needs to miss him.

Tonya says nothing bonds people better than sharing an adventure. She says she had to get gear made special for the dirt biking due to their size. Elena shows up with contacts that change her eye color. Terra thinks she’s trying to not look like Jasmine. Christy says every time she sees Briana, she thinks about what a liar she is and it’s hard to keep a lid on her feelings. Briana gets a bike with some kind of training wheels.

Elena doesn’t know what to say to Jasmine because of not being invited to the party. She says she doesn’t trust Jasmine. Christy is afraid it’s going to turn into some kind of competition. The girls get ready and motocross is on. Tonya wipes out immediately.

They practice for a while, getting the hang of it, and then do some racing. There are a couple of minor bumps, but then Terra has a bad fall down a hill. She says she’s okay, but she needs to take a break. The track guy says it’s one of the worst falls he’s seen, so she’s pretty tough.

The girls gather at the picnic area afterward. Elena thanks Tonya for inviting all of them, emphasis on the all. Jasmine says if Elena has a problem with her, she should say so. Elena says ditto, rather than not inviting her to something and covering it up by calling it a mommy event. Jasmine says she has no problem with Elena.

Somehow this triggers Christy to jump Briana’s ass about her lies regarding Todd. Briana says she tried to talk to Christy about it privately. Christy says she’s sick of looking at Briana’s ugly face, because she’s five. They go back and forth so loud and fast, I have no idea what they’re even saying.

Jasmine says she’s always invited Elena to everything. Elena says she did too, even her wedding. Jasmine says you do different things with different friends and Elena’s being ridiculous. Elena says Jasmine is trying to take her friends away. Jasmine says she’s just being insecure. Terra interjects, but that goes over like a lead balloon. Jasmine says she’s had enough and leaves.

Elena invites the others to her makeup launch. Terra suggests she be the bigger person and invite Jasmine. Elena says not this time.

No preview for next week, so just make one up.

 

January 26, 2016 — GH, BH, Haves & Nots

Standard

What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts & recaps on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

The front page of the paper talks about the altercation between Olivia and the mayor over public breastfeeding. Sonny and Epiphany are checking it out. Epiphany asks if Sonny got a new doctor and he tells her she’s enough for him.

Lucas asks Julian if the story in the paper is true. Julian says yes, but Alexis has Olivia’s back. Julian asks if Lucas and Brad have set a wedding date.

Maxie and Dillon are checking out a shoot location. Maxie says Nina wants them to look at The Haunted Star as well, and Dillon brings up Johnny. He tells Maxie she did the right thing by telling Nathan right away. She says just telling a partial truth meant she also told a bunch of little lies and she doesn’t know what to do about that. Hmm…keep your mouth shut? Nathan comes by with some hot chocolate.

A reporter is asking Olivia why she didn’t just breastfeed in a room. She says she has a five-year-old son and she wouldn’t want him to see that. Apparently a lot of people are living in the dark ages in Port Charles. Dante tells Olivia he wishes he’d been here for her, but she says he had his hands full with Johnny. She says she doesn’t know why Johnny would have forced Lulu to help him since he once loved her.

Lulu asks for time alone with Johnny. It makes no sense, but because she’s Dante’s wife and was supposedly an injured party, she gets this privilege. Johnny asks her if she wants to make a run for it.

Lucas says they’re not planning on making it official any time soon. Julian tells him that he and Alexis are going to be married in a few weeks.

Sonny tells Epiphany she knows exactly how to push him. He says he’s done everything she told him and it’s time to take it to the next level. She says she’ll be the judge of that and what is he even talking about? He tells her to watch. He struggles, but finally stands on his own. Epiphany is thrilled and gives him a hug.

Olivia asks how Lulu and Valerie are and Dante says they’re both fine. Olivia says it was lucky Lulu found Valerie and she imagines it brought him and Lulu closer together. He says not so, they’re filing for divorce.

Johnny suggests he and Lulu go to Canada and start over. He says they should have done it a long time ago. He says he looks back and realizes that he made a mistake back then. Lulu says he sacrificed his freedom for her for nothing. She says that Dante figured out that Lulu helped him of her own free will and told her he hates Johnny, but Johnny has integrity which is more than Dante could say for her.

Nathan passes out the hot chocolate. Nathan says for Lulu and Maxie’s sake, he wants to make peace with Dillon. Nathan tells him he’ll need a permit for shooting, and tells him he should go to the station now. Dillon gets the hint that Nathan wants to talk to Maxie alone. When Dillon leaves, Nathan tells Maxie he knows she lied about Johnny.

Maxie says he’s right, she lied about some details, but she was trying to do the right thing and still protect Lulu. Nathan asks if she thinks it’s true that Lulu wasn’t a willing accomplice. When she doesn’t answer, he says he thinks Lulu went along with it too, but she’s his sister and Johnny is in jail, so he’ll leave it alone.

Olivia suggests Dante and Lulu work things out and stop letting it be all about Valerie. Olivia asks why Lulu would suddenly decide she wanted a divorce, and Dante says it’s him that does.

Lulu says she made a gigantic mistake that cost Johnny his freedom and Dante to want a divorce. Johnny says it’s probably for the better, that Dante betrayed her. She says Valerie helped her to see that the trouble with them started before she came along, and that they should have worked out a solution together, and now it’s too late. Johnny asks if there’s anything he can do to help and Lulu says maybe.

Epiphany asks how it happened. Sonny says he had a dream about someone who needed his help and when he woke up he felt focused, strong and hopeful. He says that’s what his people need him to be, and he said it was time to get his legs back. Epiphany says she’s not going to ease up on him and that she’s going to make it harder. Sonny tells her to bring it on. He also asks her not to tell anyone yet. She asks if he wants to hide his recovery because of business reasons.

Lucas is thrilled about Julian’s impending nuptials. He says Alexis has been good for him and he’s glad Julian is out of the mob business. He says he’s glad Julian won’t be a shooting statistic and Julian says he hopes Lucas is right about that.

Olivia thinks Dante is leaving Lulu for Valerie, but he says that’s not the case. She asks why he’s divorcing Lulu and he explains what really happened with Johnny.

Johnny says if it’s in his power, he’ll do it. Lulu thanks him for taking the fall for her. She says if he hadn’t lied, she could be going to prison too, and the thought of being away from Rocco for years would have killed her. She says now she has to figure out what happened to get her to such a low place. She wants her son to be proud of her and she wants that for Johnny too. She says there’s always been a tug of war inside of him between good and evil. He says the bad side won. She says he has a good heart and is capable of incredible generosity and kindness. She begs him not to join a gang in prison and to do something productive to get himself out and become a good guy who no longer has to hide. Lulu says he gave her a second chance and she wants that for him too. He asks if there’s a chance for them to be together too.

Nathan forgives Maxie. He says despite her covering for Lulu, he can trust her. She says she’s not so sure about that.

Epiphany says that it makes sense regarding his business, but what about Carly and the kids? Doesn’t he want to them to know he’s making progress? He says he knows what he’s doing. Epiphany says she does too, and she has patients who aren’t giving her nonsense and leaves.

Julian tells Lucas that some people aren’t willing to let bygones be bygones. He says being a father again, makes him want to stay on the straight and narrow. He asks Lucas to be his best man. Nathan says he’d love to.

Sonny stares at the door in an ominous way, although maybe this is just his thoughtful look. It’s hard to tell.

Nathan asks why he can’t trust Maxie. She says she told Lulu to go big or go home in fighting for her marriage and look what happened. Nathan says she didn’t make Lulu conspire with Johnny. Maxie says if she was in Lulu’s shoes, she would have done the same thing.

Dante says Johnny came back to town on his own, but Lulu put the Valerie plan in motion. He says she didn’t want it to get out of hand like it did, but she wanted Valerie out of the way. Olivia says her intention wasn’t to harm Valerie, but to help her marriage. Dante says she lied and Olivia brings up his own lies. He says one doesn’t cancel the other out and he wants to stay angry about it, proving once again what a moron he is. Olivia says when he’s angry he doesn’t have to feel the pain.

Johnny says he needs something to look forward to when he gets out. Lulu says she’ll always love him, but to take the mess she made for him and make something good for himself and not to change for anyone else. He says their New Year’s Eve kiss was a new and bright start to the year. Time’s up and the officer takes Johnny back to this cell. Orange is not a bad color on him. Lulu sits by herself crying and Dillon walks in.

Julian sees Sonny and asks if they can talk. He says Alexis told him what Sonny had said and he’s not interested in the mob life anymore. He says he’s starting over and he wants to make peace with Sonny. Sonny brings up some past stuff and Julian says they’re equally responsible for the animosity between them, but he’s asking man to man if they can let the past go.

Maxie says she couldn’t make Lulu see how much she had to risk. Nathan says ditto for Dante. Maxie says she’d never want to risk their relationship. Nathan says he doesn’t either and they hug.

Olivia says she’s not happy about it, but she understands and there are no easy answers. She says he’s her son and she’ll always be supportive, but she urges him to take some time before making any big decisions or signing any divorce papers. She leaves and Valerie walks in. Valerie asks how Lulu is. Dante says between Valerie leaving Lulu out of the equation (score one for her) and Johnny not saying anything, Lulu is in the clear. He tells her that they’re splitting up for real.

Dillon apologizes again for revealing Dante and Valerie’s affair. He says he also should have said something when he saw Johnny. Lulu says her problems are of her own making and asks if he’s there for further questioning. He says he’s there for a permit and that he hopes one day she can forgive him and he can really help her. She says he already started.

Sonny asks if Julian wants to be forgiven for putting a hit out on him. Julian says forgetting is more accurate, but he had nothing to do with Sonny getting shot. He says like it or not, their lives are connected. He says he doesn’t want his children to grow up without a father. Sonny says he might have Alexis fooled but they both know once you get in there’s no getting out. I guess mob business is like a roach motel.

Nathan suggests that he and Maxie trade their cold hot chocolate for a warm bed. Woo woo!

Dillon tells Lulu not to be so hard on herself and that everyone makes mistakes. He says they learn from them and try to do better. Lulu starts to cry and they hug.

Valerie says Lulu took her problems out on her, and that she’s not the cause of their problems, but she was a contributor. She wants to move on and says she doesn’t want anything to do with Dante anymore, not in a mean way, but she just can’t. She says good-by.

Julian asks Sonny if he ever wanted to escape and just have a life with his family. Sonny says of course, but he has a past and so does Julian. He says they can’t just wake up one morning and it’s gone, that everything can’t just be wiped away. Julian asks once more for Sonny to forgive him and for them to move on. Sonny totally steals a line from Machete and says maybe God can forgive Julian, but he can’t and he’s going to take Julian down for killing Duke. I don’t particularly like Julian, but Sonny is being an a-hole and had better watch his karma.

Tomorrow, Sonny tells Julian he’s going to pay and Anna is hot on the Sabrrrina/Carrrlos trail.

The Haves and The Have Nots

After Warlock and Candace trip over Quincy’s dead body, Warlock asks her how she thought she could get away with it. He says he doesn’t care about anybody, but Candace is his girl. Her mother used to look after him. He tells her not to say she’s sorry and then asks for money. She says she doesn’t have any. He insists she does and she insists she doesn’t.

Warlock tells her she has a nice place. She says he can have it, but he says no thanks, he just wants money. I don’t know why she’s not telling him why she doesn’t have it. He gets out his gun and tells her she won’t feel anything. She begs him not to shoot her. He shoots.

He shoots past her and says he told her not to move. He says he’s gotta do what he’s gotta do, and she made him look like a fool. He says she has four million dollars and he wants one and a half. She says okay, but says she doesn’t have it right now. He asks why and she finally tells him it was taken from her. He thinks she’s lying and he pulls off another shot. He says she’s a traitor and a liar and broke the code along with his heart. Quite poetic for a thug.

She tells him about Oscar and how he marked her. Warlock says she’s lying. Candace says she’s not, but she needs a week. He says on the eighth day, her ass is dead. She asks if he’ll help her move Quincy’s body and he says sure. She says the neighbor is watching everything she does. He then asks which favor she wants, to live for seven days or get help with the body. She wisely chooses the former. Warlock says he loves her. She says she loves him too. He wants another favor before he leaves and we’ll just leave it at that.

Wayatt doctors his pee test and gives it to the technician in the DA’s office. Jennifer tells him he can go home and she’ll call with the results. He asks about his parents and she says they’re okay. He asks if they’re getting out soon. She says she’s trying to keep them in until he gets out of the house. She suggests he stay in a hotel. He asks about the Harringtons and Jennifer asks if Jeffrey has a drinking problem since he was arrested for a DUI. Wyatt says no. She tells him she’ll let him know when his trust fund is released and he leaves after calling her an angel in his life. He is so clueless, it’s sad.

After Wyatt leaves, Jennifer’s assistant comes in with the paper. She’s not happy about the front page.

Jennifer asks the desk clerk where the paper came from. Maggie is there and tells Jennifer that David has been sprung. She asks why the judge would release David alone. Maggie says David had nothing to do with it. Jennifer says that David can’t be released. Maggie says if she doesn’t release David immediately, she’ll call the attorney general. Jennifer asks if she’d like to use her phone. Maggie asks how long it will be and Jennifer says as long as it takes.

The guard asks for Kathryn, saying the DA wants to see her. Veronica tells her not to say anything. She says Jennifer will try to entrap her. Kathryn says she’s not stupid. Veronica gripes about her phone call and the guard says they’re working on it.

Mitch and Benny are wrapping up the day at the tow yard. Benny says they cleared $1800. Mitch says if they keep doing well, they’ll need more employees. Benny says he wants Warlock to come in. Mitch says Warlock will bury them. Benny says he doesn’t understand, that Warlock had their backs when he and Candace were younger. His mother took care of Warlock as a child, and Warlock took care of them later financially. Mitch says Warlock doesn’t do anything for nothing.

Mitch says he doesn’t trust Warlock. He asks Benny why Warlock was looking for Candace and that he needs to keep an eye on things. Benny says funny, Warlock said the same thing about Mitch, but he trusts them both. Mitch says he’s going to be watching Warlock.

Kathryn tells the DA she’s represented by counsel and has nothing to say to her. Jennifer says she just wanted to talk to Kathryn and there’s a difference between a conversation and questioning. She says it’s off the books and Kathryn says she doubts it. Jennifer says she knew Kathryn’s father and that if it hadn’t been for his scholarship, she wouldn’t be the DA. Kathryn says he was a good man and helped a lot of people. Jennifer says that she was lucky, but about 45 of her colleagues had to sleep with him for their school money. She says up until now, a class-action suit against his estate was just talked about at parties. Kathryn says she’s trying to blackmail her. Jennifer says she’s trying to tell her to distance herself from Jim. They both talk about how being blindsided has its privileges and I don’t understand it. Kathryn says that a legacy has tentacles. She says a lot of people knew what was going on and that the town of Savannah is worth more than gold. She tells Jennifer that to take on the task she would have to divide air and she’ll wipe out everyone who needs that air to breathe. She says she wants her phone call and wants it now. Jennifer says they’re working on it and sends her back to her cell. Kathryn says maybe Veronica was right and Jennifer is a dumb bitch.

The officer gets Kathryn and Jennifer throws stuff around the room. Foiled! Ha-ha!

The guard tells Veronica to come now. They’re changing cells. Veronica insists on her phone call.  The guard says not right now and handcuffs Veronica. She says she’s taking them one at a time.

The guard deposits Veronica in her new cell. Jim and David are in the next cell and Veronica says it’s a set up. The guard acts ignorant. Veronica tells them not to say anything. Jim gets snarky. They make snide comments back and forth, ending with Jim making a comment about her hair.

Veronica asks David how he is. He says they all need to be quiet and quit giving the DA ammunition. Jim says, oh look, Veronica can take orders after all, and he and Veronica go back and forth again. Jim brings up the picture in the paper of Veronica and Benny. Veronica says she’s still angry at Jim putting his hands on her. Jim says, oh sorry, and David tells them to knock it off. Veronica gets pissed that he’s not defending her. Oh, here comes Jeffrey!

Veronica and David are pretty surprised to see him. David asks what they’re doing there and they ask him what he’s doing there. David asks what the charge was and he tells them a DUI and asks again why they’re there. Veronica asks Jeffrey what’s up with the DUI and Jeffrey says he’s guilty. Veronica says when they get out he’ll regret talking to her the way he is and he says she’ll regret everything she’s ever done to him. He says something about her and Benny and Jim is like, wow. Jeffrey asks if he should tell David or should she. Veronica says she’s having an affair and the picture was in the paper. She tells Jeffrey to go ahead and hurt David. He says she’s the one who hurt David. She says all he wants to do is Wyatt or any other guy. He says he wishes one was right here and he’d do it in her face. I literally lol.

David asks him who it is with Veronica in the picture. Jeffrey says he doesn’t know. Veronica says is he sure? Why isn’t David says maybe he’ll sleep with Maggie after all. Veronica says they’ll be even. He says they’ll be over. Jim asks David if he’s sure he wants him to call it off. Jim asks Jeffrey if he’s still gay. Jim says everyone knows it except his mother and she can’t control him out of it. Veronica says she’s seen what happens what happens when you try to control children – they get raped in prison or kill themselves. I go oooh! out loud. Jim says he knows she had Wyatt raped and David says just like how she got Quincy out of jail. Jim is like, what? David tells Veronica she’s sick. She says Jeffrey is still in love with Wyatt. Jeffrey says he’s going to do all he can to keep her in there and she’s an evil soul who doesn’t deserve to see the light of day – ever.

Wow. Wow, wow, wow. That was a very intense scene in a small space with no props. I’m exhausted. My mouth was hanging open through the whole thing. Well played, Tyler Perry.

Benny goes to Candace’s house. The neighbor waves from across the street. Candace comes out and says she doesn’t feel good. Benny insists on talking to her and she says let’s talk outside she needs the air. Benny says their mother is mad at him and she’s staying in a hotel and won’t come to his house unless Candace can tell him how she got the money for it. Candace says she’s tired and doesn’t want to do this right now. Benny says she used to tell him the truth. She says he has to go and he pushes his way inside.

He sees Quincy’s body.

Next time, Benny suggests they go to the police and David and Jim have a fistfight in the cell.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Giggy! Ken and LisaV are looking for a restaurant space and go to a sex shop where Ken has taken a lease. Lisa says that even though she’s a supporter of many lifestyles, some of the stuff is weird even to her. She plays with some pink duck and can’t turn it off. Ken tells her they’re looking at the space, not the merchandise. They bicker about who is going to design it and Lisa says Pump was a huge endeavor that she doesn’t want to do again right now.

Lisa says she thought Ken wanted to wind down, but he says winding down is dying. He suggests Max as manager. Lisa wants to start enjoying life more in 10 years time and isn’t overjoyed with this venture.

Kathryn says she’s from Milwaukee and a Midwesterner through and through. She and her husband talk about a previous vacation and he calls Westminster “Westminister.” They go to a jewelry store. Her husband, Donnie, played in the NFL and invested wisely, so they can afford a lot of cool stuff. The jewelry is in the millions, and he tells her to get what she wants, but remember they’re also renovating a kitchen. She decides the kitchen is more important, but says eventually she’ll get the jewelry.

Kyle calls LisaV. She wants to have a barbeque. Faye is going to be there, but Kyle also likes Kathryn and hopes there isn’t a conflict.

Eileen and family are going to Italy where she’s going to sprinkle her sister’s ashes. Vince plays a joke on her, putting one of the kids in a suitcase. Her sister was a single mom and she helped raise her niece who is like a daughter to her. She will also be coming on the trip.

LisaR is meeting Kathryn for lunch. They’ve known each other for a while. They talk plastic surgery, Kathryn’s old modeling days and how they palled around. They agree to have lunch again.

Kyle meets Faye at a furniture store. Faye is redecorating Kyle’s closet. Kyle says Faye is like a family member. Kyle tells Faye that she invited Kathryn to the barbeque. Faye says she doesn’t want to discuss any O.J. business with anyone. She says she’s never going to get into a conversation about Nicole and the past. I’m shocked when Kyle mentions that it was over 20 years ago. My heart.

Eileen and the gang are in Italy. She and Vince are going over plans for the trip. Eileen says her sister’s ashes are a priority. Her sister hadn’t let anyone know she was terminally ill and it’s still very difficult for Eileen. She feels guilty that they didn’t do anything for her even though it was her decision not to tell them. She says it’s a way of honoring her sister and getting rid of the guilt. She goes to some gorgeous place on the water, says good bye and scatters the ashes. She says that her sister helped raise her since she was 12 years older. I can identify since my sister is 10 years older.

Kyle is getting ready for the barbeque which looks pretty fancy for a barbeque. She’s having it catered because she’s tired of being in the kitchen all the time instead of with her guests. I can identify here too.

Kathryn visits LisaV. She says the house is fabulous, but there’s a lot of swan poopy around. They have tea, and Lisa grills Kathryn on her home life. I love Lisa, but she sure is nosy.

Yolanda arrives at the barbeque and also thinks it’s fancy for a barbeque. Erika says she shows up in barbeque-wear and Kyle is in an evening gown. Kyle also isn’t barbequing any food, so I agree when she says she should stop using that word. Everyone says the same thing when they come in, so I won’t belabor the point.

LisaR is a little uncomfortable with Yolanda because of her questioning Yolanda’s illness. Yolanda isn’t into being negative and ignores any friction between them. Yolanda schools the ladies about toxins in everything. LisaV and Kathryn are the last to arrive. Kathryn says she knew it was inevitable that she run into Faye at some point because she’s close with Kyle. She’s not too happy because Faye portrayed her as a doormat in her book when she’d never met her. She doesn’t strike me as the doormat type. She says she doesn’t want to start a fight, but she’s not going to roll over and play dead either.

Kyle is in the unenviable position of introducing Kathryn and Faye. LisaV says Faye was a bitch to her at her 30th anniversary and she hasn’t spoken to her since. She wishes she’d gotten a heads up. Kathryn and Yolanda talk about their old modeling days. LisaV and LisaR confer inside at the bar. And here comes Faye.

LisaR brings up the altercation between Faye and LisaV. For what reason, I don’t know. Just because she has no filter I guess. Faye says she has no hard feelings and wants to move on. In her individual interview LisaV says she loves women who have a pop at you and then want to move on. I hear her. LisaV says fine. Yolanda has to jet early and LisaR is glad they didn’t have to talk about anything heavy.

They sit down to lunch and Kyle’s Golden Retriever jumps all over LisaV with his ball in his mouth. Of course Lisa doesn’t mind and everyone is like, awww. Kathryn is seated across from Faye which is not so awww.

They talk about Yolanda and how much better she seems. LisaR starts talking about the confusion with her posting the sick and happy Instagram pics and they get into that conversation again. Erika says Yolanda would be pissed to hear it. LisaR says she intends to discuss it with Yolanda, which we’ve heard a few times now. Stop it, Lisa! Kyle asks about Yolanda’s kids who have Lyme disease. LisaV says that Mohammad clams he doesn’t think they have it, but she doesn’t want to get in the middle of all of it. Kyle keeps pumping (no pun intended) LisaV for information. Erika looks more and more annoyed, and finally they move on.

They talk about LisaR posing for Playboy and we flash back to the dinner party from hell and Camille calling Faye “the morally corrupt Faye Resnick.” Kathryn talks about Faye writing the book and posing for Playboy and having her fifteen minutes. Kathryn says she was in the book and don’t talk about her if you don’t know her. She says she never read it though. Erika says if she was going to confront someone about writing about her, she’d read what they wrote.

Kathryn says she’s been thinking about confronting Faye for 20 years. Suddenly, Erika tells Faye she wants to address the elephant in the room. DUN-DUN-DUNNN!

Kathryn says she never met Faye before, but she’d be a phony if she didn’t say anything. She associates herself being brought into the O.J. stuff with Faye and says that Faye is the only one who dragged her into it. Faye says she has nothing to say about something that happened over 20 years ago. She says there isn’t much to discuss. Kathryn says she wants to address it. Faye says it was nothing pejorative and asks if Kathryn feels better. Faye says it was an uncomfortable time in all of their lives and it should be discussed in private, if at all. She says that if she offended anyone she’s sorry. Kyle pipes up about what a good girlfriend Faye is. Kathryn says obviously Faye wants to move on and she didn’t get the satisfaction she wanted.

Next time, some weird party where the women are wearing top hats and LisaR finally talks to Yolanda. Faye also seems to be bucking to be a permanent addition.

Recommendation: The Girlfriend’s Guide to Divorce

This is a clever and genuine look at divorced life. A kind of Sex and the City for a slightly older crowd. The characters are diverse and believable, and while the plots are somewhat exaggerated (as with any drama), they’re both touching and fun.

I’m glad Bravo has branched out into some scripted shows. I also love Odd Mom Out. That surprised me since I thought I wouldn’t relate, but there’s someone for everyone to identify with and the show is very New York-ish.

Bravo, Bravo!

January 25, 2016 — GH & Waikiki Pump

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Jordan sees Curtis you-know-where. That’s right, he’s eating at the MetroCourt.

Tracy is one the phone with Ned. I don’t know where she is, but it looks pretty good to me. She says she’s luxuriating and I believe it. She smells some weed (!) and gets off the phone. She doesn’t call it weed, but that’s what it is. The dude smoking is Larry Ashton in the next room.

Hayden says getting married is a huge step and she’s not sure she’s ready. Nicholas says she asked first, albeit to protect the company, and he’s not sure what’s changed.

Alexis is going over the lawsuit against the mayor. Julian asks why she’s going through with it, since Olivia is off the hook, and Alexis says she doesn’t want anyone else going through the same thing. She if he’ll address public breastfeeding in the magazine. He says sure, and somehow jumps from that to the conclusion that they should get married asap.

TJ is dropping Molly off at her mom’s and Christina interrupts their good-by kiss.

We see the last scene from Friday where Jason remembers Sam with him on a rooftop in the rain. She tells him it’s a real memory.

Commercial break. It’s that British woman asking if we’ll “go commando.” Please. I don’t want to think about those people sans underwear, k? Thanx.

Jordan asks Curtis if he’s following her and he asks how that’s possible since he was there first. She says she can’t enjoy her meal if they’re in the same room. She says she’d be happy to remove him from Port Charles altogether, but doesn’t have enough evidence…yet. He says what if he was following her?

Sam tells Jason that the colored lights he remembers were Chinese lanterns that she had set up for a romantic evening. She thought it was ruined by the rain, but that wasn’t the case.

Larry suggests he and Tracy catch up. He asks if she’s there on a second honeymoon with Luke. She says hardly; she’s there to get away from the trials and tribulations of Port Charles. She says he was part of them because he was in cahoots with Jerry Jax to take over ELQ.

Christina says that Molly might seem romantic on the porch, but Tj is never going to get any. TJ says it’s none of her business anyway and leaves. Christina tells Molly it was payback for telling their parents her business.

Alexis would like a church wedding. Julian asks who would marry them if he’s the groom? Alexis says she’ll figure it out.

Hayden says that Nicholas didn’t want to get married before, so she’s hesitant. He says he knows it would protect his shares, but he wants to for other reasons. He loves her and so does Spencer. He says they have something real between them even though they don’t know each other that well. He says he’s fascinated by the way she thinks and can’t wait to see what she does next, so he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. He says he’s offering more than a business proposal; he’s offering a marriage of equals. He talks about the island and I’m ready to marry him. She says she can’t, but then says she will. Laura walks in while they’re hugging.

Jordan asks Curtis what he’s after. She says he told her his job is finished, so why is he still there? TJ comes by, does a double-take and says, “Hi, Uncle Curtis.”

Larry says he’s seen the error of his ways and he’s a changed man. Tracy says he’s probably trying to swindle rich widows. He says he’s there to clear his head and try to figure out why he keeps doing the same wrong things over and over. He says he’s found a new life there. He says a return to nature heals both mind and body.

Laura asks if congratulations are in order and Nicholas tells her they’re getting married. Hayden goes to get some champagne to celebrate. Laura asks Nicholas what he thinks he’s doing.

Alexis says she wants all the wedding bells and whistles because this is going to be the last time. Julian says they’ll grow old and grey together. She says old maybe, but not grey. Ha-ha! Yeah, I don’t even know what my natural color is anymore. She says a bunch of romantic stuff, and that she wants everyone to see he’s a changed man. He says if it means that much to her, he’s in.

Sam takes Jason to the rooftop of the penthouse. He asks why they were having dinner up there. She says he was struggling with a difficult situation and she wanted to do something nice for him. She says it was pretty much a disaster, but he says it wasn’t. He says without the rain, he wouldn’t have had the memory and wouldn’t be with her up there now.

TJ asks if Jordan wanted to have their dinner there so they could all have dinner together. Jordan starts to talk but Curtis interrupts.

Apparently, Larry has shared his stash with Tracy and they’re having a rollicking good time. This is pretty funny. He asks what’s wrong with just having a fun time with someone, that it doesn’t have to be that deep, and she says maybe that’s what she’s been doing wrong.

Laura asks why Nicholas wants to marry a woman who’s been dishonest with him. She asks how he’s going to forget what he did to Hayden.

Christina and Molly argue and Alexis comes out to see what’s going on. She says they need to come in and help plan the wedding.

Jason says maybe he’ll remember more if Sam hangs out with him. She says he needs to find someone else to help because she can’t be the one who goes through this with him. What? She says she can’t be objective because it’s her life too.  She says it brings up a lot of emotions for her and it might lead to expectations on her part. He says maybe she’s right.

TJ talks about school. Curtis asks if he has a girlfriend and TJ says yes. He says she’s a year behind him at PCU, and they started dating in high school. Curtis tells TJ he’s sorry he wasn’t there when TJ’s father died.

Alexis tells the girls she wants them to be part of the ceremony and be maids of honor along with Sam. Julian seconds that and the girls agree. Alexis asks Christina if she’ll be able to get out of classes.

Hayden calls Tracy and tells her about Nicholas proposing. Tracy finds this probably more amusing than she normally would and tells Hayden good work. She says Hayden doesn’t have to stay married to him long, that she’ll get ELQ and Hayden will get her freedom. She rejoins Larry and tells him she got good news.

Laura asks Nicholas id he’s sure it’s not his guilt talking. He says no, that’s not the reason he proposed and that he loves Hayden. Laura says an engagement doesn’t have to be short and he needs to think about what he’s doing. Hayden comes back and asks what they were talking about.

Larry asks where he and Tracy were before they were interrupted. Tracy comes back to reality, saying she took this trip to get away from con artists and that she’s regained her equilibrium and wants to get as far away from him as possible. Oh well.

Laura says she has to go, but the two of them should enjoy a celebration. She tells Nicholas to think about what they discussed and leaves. Hayden tells Nicholas they should set a date for the wedding.

Molly makes a smart remark about Christina being able to come and go as she pleases. She says she, on the other hand, has to go back to the dorm and study. Christina makes a snide comment about how she won’t be having sex at the dorm.

Sam says there’s a difference between making peace with who you are and chasing a life you don’t remember. She says his old life is her old life too, and this has to be about him. He says he’s been avoiding his past and it’s time for him to face it. Sam tells him to trust himself.

TJ says he understands why Curtis couldn’t be there when his father died, because he was helping people. TJ excuses himself and Curtis tells Jordan she raised a fine young man. She says she can’t control what Curtis does, but if he hurts TJ, he’ll have to answer to her.

Larry tells Tracy to relax and breathe the tropic air. She tells him to get lost, that she’s got her priorities straight and the only thing that’s going to help her is to get back what’s hers.

Hayden suggests she and Nicholas get married right away.

Jordan tells Curtis to let TJ believe his lies and tells him to promise he won’t break TJ’s heart by telling him the truth.

Christina takes a call outside, and Julian asks Alexis to explain sister drama to him. She says this was minor so she considers it a win. Julian says they should go upstairs and give their bed a blessing. Is that what we’re calling it now?

Christina is on the phone, obviously with a man, and says if he doesn’t say anything to her parents, she won’t say anything to his wife. The professor perhaps? Or maybe it’s Gilligan.

Jason says he’s recovering not just the memory but the feeling and emotion. He says he doesn’t want to stop until he’s finished now. Sam suggests hypnosis.

Tomorrow, Dante talks divorce and Lulu asks if Johnny wants her to help him break out of prison.

Vanderpump Rules

Jax tells Britney that if he wanted to have sex with Lala, he would have. Britney tells him to always be honest with her and he says he will…as he fiddles with his phone.

Drinking time! A couple of the guys are drinking from a beer bong. No good can come of this.

Lala has taken to her bed because she’s an a-hole who thought Jax would out himself. James, Max and Faith go to her room. She says she’s hit her breaking point. Um…she put herself there.  Everyone warned her about this jerk too, so what is the deal? James starts taking off his pants and gets into bed with her.  She tells him to beat it and everyone except Faith leaves.

Scheana asks to talk to Adriana. She apologizes for any inappropriate conversation, since she’s decided to make nice and apologize whether she means it or not. Sensing this, Ariana says it’s a backhanded apology. Scheana says that she believes Tom’s attitude has rubbed off on Ariana. Ariana tries to explain that their feelings were hurt. Scheana says that’s why she’s apologizing. Giving up at making her point, Ariana says okay and leaves. I honestly don’t get what Scheana’s problem is. Tom and Ariana seem like the most normal ones of the bunch.

Shay is getting shayfaced and Scheana isn’t too happy. She wants to talk to him about Ariana, so she’s not pissed that he’s drunk, just pissed that she can’t gossip.

Schwartz is disturbed that he and Katie haven’t had “fiancé sex” yet. Tom says that Scheana has put herself in the same realm as Kristen, trying to interfere with him and Ariana’s relationship. First thing in the morning, Scheana bugs Shay about the drinking. She says the first day was supposed to be about moderation. Didn’t happen. She moves quickly on to the latest on Ariana because it’s all about her.

Lisa calls Max who just woke up. It’s 10 am and Lisa is shocked he’s sleeping all day on vacation. She asks if he’s behaving and if he’s taking his medication. She tells him he can’t drink with it and don’t kiss anybody because he can’t get an infection either. Good morning, mum!

Everyone gathers for a surfing lesson. Jax wears his sunglasses. Don’t do it, bro! I lost a decent pair in a wave once. Lala is barely wearing a bathing suit and the other girls aren’t thrilled. Scheana asks her why she was upset the evening before. She says the way everyone was talking to her was not okay. Scheana says she was once that girl, the new girl at SUR, the one who everyone thought was a slut, and she brings up her dalliance with Eddie Cibrian. She says she’s now redeemed herself. Lala acts all hurt because she says she’s been “genuine” with everyone. She’s the kind of woman who disrespects other women and calls it honesty. She’ll work her way up to The Real Housewives of the OC in no time.

Back in Kristen’s Hollywood apartment, Stassi visits. We flash back to when Kristen slept with Jax (then with Stassi) and it wasn’t pretty. Looks like they’ve made up. They talk about Kristen’s break up with James and Stassi suggests she play the field. Stassi says she and her boyfriend went from zero to old married couple. She’s on a mission to rectify things with the friends she blew off.

Some dude was showing a sex tape she made to everybody, and she’s annoyed that Scheana helped pass it along and thought it was funny. She says if Scheana can take ownership of her inappropriateness (good luck with that), maybe they can be friends.

Ken and Lisa are hanging out at the infinity pool, which has one of those cool pink flamingo floats in it. She’s worried about Max. She wants to call him again, but Ken tells her – Giggy! – it might not be a good idea. She gets on the float and says it’s bliss. It looks like bliss and I wonder if they’d like to adopt and older child.

Schwartz is afraid of sharks eating him, but goes snorkeling with anyway. Jax gets a text from Kristen who says Stassi has come out of the woodwork. Katie says she wants to stay as far away from Stassi as possible.

Jax is trying to iron some outlandishly red pants. Jax tells Britney he saw her hanging out with Lala. She says they’ll never be best friends, but she’ll deal with Lala being around.

Drinking time! The group goes to whatever bar is convenient. The waiter suggests a spiked watermelon bowl that makes me want to throw up just thinking about it. It even looks disgusting. The talk turns to sex. Tom asks how James is doing in that area. In her individual interview, Lala says they attempted it once, but he was too drunk and on top of it, blamed her. No surprise since he’s a total d-bag. Whoa. Lala is wearing hoop earrings bigger than any I’ve ever owned, even all of them put together. James and Lala exchange some words about the unpleasant event and make it even more unpleasant. Not to put my shawl on, but I don’t remember everything being so unhappy when I was their age. And I never got a free trip to Waikiki.

The gang has decided to “get crazy” tonight. How this is different from any other night, I’m not sure. Tom takes Scheana aside. She tells him that he and Ariana have a better than everybody attitude. Tom says Scheana backstabbed them. Scheana says she’s apologizing. Tom says it’s a false apology and she sort of agrees. He asks her where she got her opinion that he’s manipulative at. He says funny too, that Shay says she’s manipulative. She says Shay is the king of not expressing himself and Tom says she intimidates Shay. In her individual interview, she says Tom should mind his own business and in his, Tom says he realizes that it’s getting nowhere so he’ll just try to be surface friends. Tom accepts her apology and they go back to the drinking.

Jax makes a toast to him and Tom’s birthday.  (I meant that to be singular; it’s their birthday on the same day.)

Drinking in Hollywood! Stassi and Kristen meet at a bar. Did I mention they were drinking when Stassi visited? She brought two bottles of wine. Kristen tells her about Tom’s fight with Scheana. Kristen claims she’s over not being invited to Hawaii, but I don’t believe her for a second.

Kristen is calling new guy Kevin an Uber and Stassi chastises her for paying for boys. We’re on the same page there. It’s probably the only page we’ll ever be on together. Stassi says she was going to wait until after they were “a little drunky,” (are we five?) but she thinks Kevin has a serious live-in girlfriend. She stalked him on social media.

Kevin shows up, so too late to elaborate about that. Either that was a fast Uber or he was across the street. More drinks! Stassi brings up the girlfriend right away. Good for her. He says she’s an ex and he doesn’t live with her. He says it’s been on and off. He says he’d rather be on with Kristen, then contradicts himself by saying they shouldn’t rush things. Kristen says as long as they’re not on right now it’s cool. In her individual interview, Stassi says today’s appetizer is her tongue because she’s biting it.

Drinking in Hawaii! The gang is at a club to let loose, which is pretty much all they’re been doing on this trip. Britney makes it clear to Lala that she’s here to stay, it’s over for her with Jax and they should just be chill. In her interview, Lala says one day Britney will wake up. Meanwhile, Jax is telling everyone how in love he is with Britney. We’ll see. They party on.

Everyone wakes up with hangovers. My advice: have another drink. It’s nearly time to leave and Schwartz is still bummed about not having sex. Britney’s phone rings. Jax got arrested. It’s a felony and they’re supposed to keep him 48 hours. He stole a pair of sunglasses. Scheana wonders how much of an idiot he has to be. I wonder why she’s wondering since it’s Jax. Britney wonders what she’s going to do.

Scheana is like, this is a real trial by Jax fire for Britney. They call Jax’s mom to let her know what’s going on. They need eleven grand to bail him out and it starts to sound like a Brady Bunch adventure. Somehow Schwartz gets the bail money, they get him out and they’re on their way to the airport. Jax meets them there.

He tells Britney he got really drunk, walked into the store, said “I’m taking these,” and walked out with the sunglasses. He’s pretty embarrassed and cries in his individual interview, saying this isn’t who he is. I’m not going to make a joke, since it’s not even remotely funny.

Next week, Jax has repercussions and Stassi hits rock bottom. Maybe.

January 24, 2016 — On the Potomac & Atlanta

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

The Real Housewives of Potomac

Karen is going blah-blah-blah to Gizelle about how Gizelle is etiquette challenged. Since Karen hasn’t shown a shred of practicing what she preaches, this is pretty amusing. Karen totters off on her heels. Charrisse is also bummed because Gizelle dared bring a friend she wasn’t acquainted with into her domain.

Gizelle takes Charrisse aside and asks what the blip is up. Charrisse claims to be mad because said friend wanted to help her with her hair, when she’d said she needed help with her hair. Gizelle says they were just joking around, but Charrisse can’t seem to get the stick out of her butt and says she doesn’t joke like that. Gizelle decides to leave. Karen gets re-offended by the hairdressing guy talking to her like she’s a commoner. What is wrong with these women? I’d never heard of Potomac before and as soon as this season is done, I’m going to try and forget it exists again.

Katie’s rabbi is stopping by because she’s going to have a Hebrew naming ceremony for her daughters. He asks her some questions about her Judaism, but I have the feeling she’s similar to what we’d call and A&P Catholic – ashes on Wednesday, palms on Sunday and not much else.

Karen tells her husband she doesn’t think they have any Lipton tea, but he says he’ll check the other kitchen. Her husband Ray’s Aunt Dot is coming over and she’ll have nothing else. Apparently, Karen learned etiquette at Aunt Dot’s knee. Does this mean we have her to blame for this idiocy? The Lipton is found, but unfortunately the tea is not piping hot and Aunt Dot sends it back to be reheated. I don’t think I could take even five minutes with any of these people. Maybe Gizelle.

Gizelle is at some kind of event called “Sip with Socialites.” Maybe I wouldn’t want to be around her either. She is rocking a fabulously casual black and white outfit, complete with hat, so I give her props for that. Katie and Robyn arrive. One of the hosts (Ashley, a wife we haven’t met yet) talks to them about volunteering in schools. Gizelle grills Ashley about her married life and asks if her husband needs Viagra since he’s in his 50s. For the love of God, what planet did these women drop in from? They start to dance and Ashley wants to “booty pop,” prompting Gizelle to comment that she must not have been born in Potomac. At this point, I want to stay as far away from Potomac as possible.

Charrisse takes daughter Skylar to gymnastics practice. She’s glad she doesn’t have to focus on Gizelle and the crab boil. No wonder her husband lives somewhere else. She says she needs friends around her who are supportive. Translation: Friends who think and act exactly like her sorry self.

Gizelle decides to send an invite to Charrisse and Karen for a luncheon to talk over the crab boil incident (Guns N Roses next CD). She says she comes from an affluent African American family and knows all about etiquette. She’s having the letters delivered by chariot, so that should put the kibosh on any question about how well she was brought up.

Ashley was in the running for Miss America and ended up marrying a prominent real estate developer instead. She and husband Michael, who’s Australian, are opening a restaurant geared to Australian cuisine. She did not grow up privileged and this is a new world for her. Both she and her husband seem pretty normal, so maybe I’ve found a cast member I can somewhat relate to in this group. She tells Michael about the idiots women she met at the event and says they did well with whatever charity got the proceeds.

Katie is getting ready for the naming ceremony. Robyn says she grew up with Jewish people and none of them looked like Katie. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. (Man, these girls are ignorant.) Gizelle says she thought Jewish people “ran” like Black people and she had a 45 minute leeway in getting there on time, which is actually pretty funny.

The rabbi is apparently a folk rabbi and brought his guitar. Katie says Andrew tries to make it clear they’re not engaged, but she likes to muddy those waters to avoid competition. What? The ceremony flies by (we really didn’t get to see it at all) and we’re on to refreshments. Robyn asks Katie about being Black and Jewish. Katie says she also grew up bi-racial, so it was a similar deal.  Gizelle makes stupid comments about being the only Black person in a synagogue and being looked at like, “you don’t belong here; this isn’t a fish fry.” Both Gizelle and Robyn talk about being mistaken for white because they’re light skinned, but say when they open their mouths, it removes all doubt. I’m not sure if this is a dig at their own race, since when they open their mouths, that’s not my first thought.

Gizelle arrives at lunch with flowers for the girls. Why didn’t we get to see the chariot? Karen and Charrisse read their letters to each other in the limo. They sound like those Valentines that kids exchange, and of course they have to get snarky about it.

The ladies (using the term more and more loosely) sit down with sour faces. Gizelle brings up the “gift” Karen gave her. Karen says it was a joke and we all know that’s not true. Gizelle doesn’t get why Charrisse is even mad. Charrisse says Gizelle’s friend was rude and inappropriate, and invaded her space. Gizelle points out that Charrisse had asked him to do her hair. True to Housewives form, Charrisse thinks we have short term memory loss and says she never said that, even though we see the clip of her saying it again. Gizelle says not only is the dude a sought after stylist, but he’s a friend of hers.  Karen says the friend practically assaulted her, which borders on insane, and that she’ll be paying for her own lunch rather than be indebted to Gizelle in any way. In her individual interview, Karen says Gizelle hasn’t learned a thing and has no respect for either her or Charrisse. I know I don’t. Charrisse tells Gizelle that the sight of her face repulses her and leaves. The Real Housewives of the OC are more mature than these two.

Gizelle says this is a waste of time and Karen might as well go too. Karen says that Gizelle won’t acknowledge her mistakes. Gizelle says she apologized. They get into a discussion about how Gizelle’s daughters helped her write the letter, and Karen makes nasty comments. Gizelle says she even brought flowers for the ladies and Karen suggests she give them to her daughters since she “pimped them out” to write the letter. I don’t even know what she means by that and how is such a lady of the manor using such a lowbrow phrase? In her individual interview, Karen might as well say that Gizelle will never eat lunch in this town again. Karen strikes me as the type of person who has to talk about how wonderful and influential they are because they’re not. More trash comes out of her mouth and she makes her exit. And what is she wearing??? Not a good look from the back.

Next week, Karen says she’s rarely wrong (what a surprise) and Gizelle calls Ashley a thug. And I never want to hear the word “etiquette” again.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Kandi is getting close to baby time and she doesn’t feel prepared. She’s excited, but they don’t even have a name picked out. Todd wants to set up a schedule for baby duty. There’s some discrepancy as to when Todd’s shift should be. Todd wasn’t there for his daughter’s baby years, so his diapering skills need to be honed.

Kim’s stylist, Victoria, comes by. They make chit-chat about the kids for a while. Kim tells Victoria she wants to do a brunch with the ladies. She wants to have a “beatless” brunch, celebrating their natural beauty. She wants help with the space and Victoria says she’ll be back later with a list.

Phaedra and the boys are making a birthday card for Apollo. They’re looking at pictures and come across a Christmas picture where Dillon apparently freaked out during the shooting. At this point, it’s been a year since Apollo went to the pokey.

Kim sends a robocall to everyone as an invite to her brunch.

Kandi says she doesn’t even remember how to give a baby a bath. Carmen suggests she use a nanny. Todd says he’s been googling stuff and knows how to change a Pamper. They’re waiting for a lady from some kind of baby instruction place. When she gets there, the first thing she asks is to see the nursery, which isn’t finished yet.

Kandi says she’s going to try to breastfeed for a few months. The woman says babies nurse until 3 or 4 years and hers is 19 months and asks for it. Both Kandi and Todd are a little taken aback. They do diaper practice. Kandi says that Todd isn’t really having a true experience with a baby that doesn’t move around and pee on you. Yep.  They move on to swaddling.

Cynthia is doing business stuff for the eyewear line. They look over photos from the last event. Cynthia wants to do a commercial and spoke with Kim and Kenya about being involved. Cynthia says their collaboration is perfect, but they just don’t know it yet. She wants to use a beach setting.

Phaedra sees her lawyer. She’s ready to move ahead with the divorce. Apollo’s lawyer has been invited as well. While they’re waiting, they discuss the children, as they need to draft a parenting plan. Phaedra says it’s harder on Aidan because he’s older.

They discuss taking the kids to prison for a visit. Phaedra says that when their doctors think it’s okay for them, she’ll agree, but right now they’re too young. Apollo’s lawyer arrives. Phaedra’s lawyer says they’re ready for the divorce, but they’d like it uncontested and would like to get everything settled as smoothly and quickly as possible.

Porsha, who I totally forgot about, is visiting her makeup artist for a touch up. Porsha is having problems with her phone as she doesn’t know how to work it and can’t be bothered learning. The numbers are good for The Dish, but the production manager says with great numbers comes great responsibility. I literally lol.

Kim is nervous before the brunch, since everyone has such high standards. Cough, cough. Kandi picks up Kenya, who’s wearing makeup. Kandi is wearing concealer because she says her husband and kids are the only ones who see her under eye circles. Phaedra is asked if she’d like to check her lashes at the door, but she declines. And of course Porsha has her usual circus clown look.

Kenya is finding this beatless brunch insulting, something about this being a passive aggressive way to say they wear too much makeup, but I don’t see it that way at all. It ain’t that deep, Kenya.

Sheree and Cynthia are good sports and come au natural. They talk about the trip to Washington DC and joke that Phaedra is going to be Kanye’s running mate. Kenya tells everyone about her non-communication with her mother and how her father and she got closer. The breakfast food looks amazing.

Cynthia talks about the commercial, which is kind of an odd topic for the entire table. She says she’d like to have a creative meeting with Kim and Kenya, and would like to do it in Jamaica. Girls’ trip! Kandi is too close to term to go though.

Kim gives mirror compacts to everyone to remind them of their natural beauty. She also gives them a little notebook and pen and wants them to write a poem about natural beauty. There’s discussion about makeup versus the natural look. Kenya says what about things like wigs and boob jobs? Kenya asks Kim if she really thinks they wear too much makeup. Kim says not at all, but Kenya thought the tone of the invite sounded like she did. Kenya states some kind of reasoning, but it sounds ridiculous. Kim can’t figure out why this should seem like she’s throwing shade. I’m surprised at Kenya. I’ve liked her this season and this is out of left field.

The brunch breaks up. Kenya suggests that she and Kim pitch their ideas for the commercial and Cynthia can decide what their roles will be.

They have a meeting in a cute coffee shop. Kim gets there first. Cynthia calls Kenya, who says she can meet later, but right now, there’s something she has to attend to at the house. Cynthia is a little miffed. Kenya is at the house with some dude named Matt who she’s been dating for a couple of months. They flirt while working on the house.

Kim gives Cynthia her idea for the ad. A couple walking on the beach sans sunglasses, but as soon as they put them on, they’re walking the red carpet. It sounds similar to that ad for Diet Coke with the girl on the airplane. Cynthia loves the idea. She still wants to meet with Kenya and she asks Kim if she sees herself as director or producer. Kim says she usually does both and doesn’t co-direct, which didn’t answer the question, but I have the feeling she doesn’t want Kenya on board at all. I kind of don’t blame her and with Kenya not showing up, she doesn’t seem all that interested anyway.

Cynthia asks if Kim can work with Kenya. Kim says if it’s necessary, she can work with anyone, but she doesn’t want to work in a negative atmosphere. Cynthia says she’s willing to take a risk on both of them because she thinks they both have something to bring to the table. She tells Kim she loved her idea.

Next time, Jamaica! And Nene.