What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Oscar and Josslyn go to the freezer so they can be alone. Everything starts to shake. The party is rocking, and not in a good way. The Quartermaine mansion is shaking, Jim’s office is shaking, the church is shaking, and Sonny’s place is shaking. Everyone ducks and runs for cover.

Sonny finds Michael knocked out. Things are flying and falling everywhere. What did Jim hit during his excavation?

Elizabeth asks if everyone is all right at the church. Ava calls for Kiki. She’s fine, but Ava is bleeding. Griff looks for a portable radio.

The lights go on at Jim’s site. He’s like, omg. Franco has been knocked out by a metal cabinet, and is trapped beneath it.

Funny, the station looks just fine, except for the lights being out. The phones are down, and an officer says Charles Street was the hardest hit. Curtis looks grim.

Sonny asks if Michael can hear him. Michael starts to come to, but fades.

Jason and Sam look around. She runs upstairs to check on the kids.

At the party, Drew asks if everyone is okay. Kim can’t find Josslyn and Oscar, and wonders where they can be. Check the freezer, which is where all of us go to make out.

Oscar and Josslyn come out from under the table. Josslyn thinks it was an earthquake. She was in one once, but it wasn’t this big. Oscar tries to open the door, but it’s jammed.

Sam says the kids slept through the whole thing. I identify, having slept through the worst of Hurricane Sandy right in the middle of it. Jason says there’s no cell phone service. Ned and Olivia come in. Ned says they’re lucky. Jason says the mansion was built on bedrock, rather than the sediment landfill closer to town.

Lulu calls for help. Transgender kid Dakota has been hurt. Trina says Dakota saved her by running interference. Kim says she’s a doctor, and they have to pop Dakota’s dislocated shoulder back. I cringe, and Dakota screams.

Josslyn and Oscar yell for help. Oscar doesn’t think anyone can hear. Josslyn says they can’t do nothing, but Oscar tells her his parents will notice they’re gone. Josslyn says, unless they’re hurt. Oscar is sure someone will find them.

Jordan gives everyone instructions. Curtis starts to leave, but she says he’s still in custody. Just because it’s an emergency, it doesn’t mean the charges were dropped. She tells him to sit down and let her deal with this.

Jim asks if Franco can hear him, but Franco is out cold. Don’t move the cabinet or anything, Jim. Jim runs out. Hopefully to get help, but who knows; he’s such a jerk.

On the radio, there’s an announcement of a massive earthquake. Residents are told to stay indoors. Griff looks at Ava’s wound, and says it should be fine. Ava asks if anyone was hurt, but he doesn’t think so. The radio says the epicenter is where the main damage is, and it’s minimal in the outside neighborhoods. Residents are advised to stay off the roads. Doc sees Scotty knocked out.

Ned says he needs to be downtown. Olivia-Q says she owns a hotel, and should be checking on the guests. Jason tells them the roads need to be kept clear for first responders to get through. Sam asks if Jason can take her to town on his bike.

Kim makes a sling for Dakota. Drew can’t find Oscar and Josslyn. He says it’s bad out there. Two buildings have collapsed, and the construction across the street is a sinkhole. He asks if the kids have any idea where Josslyn and Oscar might have been before the earthquake. Trina says she saw them headed to the back room, probably to be alone. Kim and Drew go to look for them.

Oscar says there’s still no phone service, like this would change in two minutes. It’s still freezing, and he says there must be a backup generator to keep it cool even if the power goes out. Josslyn says it’s working, and Oscar gives her his coat, saying her goosebumps have goosebumps. She says they wanted to be alone; they got their wish. He asks if she’s played Never Have I Ever, and explains if you’ve done something, you take a sip. They both have cans of… soda? I can’t imagine it would be anything else, since Oscar has the fear of Sonny and Carly in him. He says never have I ever broken curfew, and they both drink. Josslyn says, never have I ever cheated on a test, and neither drink. Oscar says never have I ever fallen in love, and they both drink again, making googly eyes at each other.

Jordan sends out units to evacuate the area. There’s a broken gas main, and a fire spreading. She wants a mandatory evacuation. Curtis says he’s going to check on TJ, Molly, and Stella, but Jordan calls Officer Tucker over. She tells him to go to the 300 block and look for them. She describes Stella, but Tucker remembers her from almost being arrested. Curtis says if he finds her, be polite. His auntie has no patience for bad manners. Jordan asks Curtis to show his gratitude by not trying to escape custody.

Michael comes to again. Sonny helps him sit up. He wants to check on Avery, but Sonny says Ava took her for a sleepover. The generator kicks in, and Max asks if everyone is okay. He checks Michael, and asks him questions about things like what month it is. Michael says the one after February, and Max thinks Michael has a concussion. He has to be kept awake until they get some help. Michael insists he’s fine. He asks about his mom, but Max says there’s no sign of Carly or Mike.

Scotty starts to get up, and Elizabeth sees that his leg has been impaled by something. She calls Griff over, and he tells Scotty not to mess with it. Scotty wonders if he’s going to have to live with something sticking out of his leg, but Griff tells him that he doesn’t want to bleed out; right now, it’s keeping that from happening. Scotty says, no, he doesn’t. He tells Elizabeth that Franco loves her, and mumbles something about a secret. Elizabeth asks, what secret? 

Franco opens his eyes, and tries to get the cabinet off of himself. It won’t budge, and he yells for help. Someone comes in. It’s Mike. Wth? Was he wandering around and is totally unhurt? Franco asks for a hand. Mike asks if he’s all right, and Franco says, does he look all right? Mike asks if this is Post Street, and wonders where the apartments went. Franco says they were demolished for construction, since they didn’t know an earthquake was going to get them out of the way. He says if Mike doesn’t mind, he has somewhere to be, and could he give him a hand? Mike tries to lift the cabinet.

Scotty passes out. Griff says the longer he’s there, the more opportunity there is for infection. Ava says the radio is out, but they’d said there was minimal damage west of Broadway. They decide to take Scotty to the hospital. Kiki says she’s coming too, but Ava thinks they should stay together. Kiki says she’s needed at the hospital, and Ava tells her to be careful. Griff asks for help with the tourniquet.

Jordan wonders how she’s supposed to manage the crisis and Curtis at the same time. She tells him if he leaves, he’s a fugitive, and if she lets him leave, it’s corruption. He tells her that he can do work she can’t. There hasn’t been an earthquake since 1991. Then Jim arrived. What if his excavation caused the condition for the quake? She says he can investigate when she’s legally able to release him. Curtis says if Jim is involved, his ass should be in a jail cell. Suddenly, his leg gives out from under him.

Sonny asks Max to check the grounds. Max tells Michael not to fall asleep. Michael tells them to find Mike and his mom. He’s not going anywhere until he knows they’re safe.

Sam needs to know Drew is okay, but Jason says he can take care of himself. Ned agrees, like he gets a vote (no pun intended). Sam begs, and Jason says he’ll take her.

Oscar starts to kiss Josslyn, but she seems really groggy, and loses her balance. Drew and Kim call out, asking if they’re back there. Oscar yells, telling them they’re in the freezer and need help. Josslyn says they’re not hurt, but really cold. Drew can’t get the door open, and looks around for something to pry it with. Kim tells the kids to hang on.

Elizabeth tells Doc she’s going to stay and wait for Franco. Doc asks if she’s sure. Elizabeth says unless Doc knows something she doesn’t, he’s coming. She doesn’t know why he’s not there, but her instinct says he loves her and will come for her. The cheese Elizabeth stands alone in the church.

Mike tells Franco the cabinet is too heavy. Franco tells him to find a board or something for a lever, or find someone else to help. Mike says, can do, and leaves. Great. He’ll forget two seconds out the door.

Jordan takes Curtis to the hospital, telling Amy that his leg went out from under him. Amy asks Dr. Park to check him. The doctor asks if he was hit by any debris. Curtis says nothing terrible, but Jordan adds that he was thrown to the ground and something fell on him, so there’s that. Jordan’s phone rings. It’s Ned. Jordan asks how everybody is, and says she’s waiting for a unit update. She finds out that Ned has talked to the governor, and she says they can use all the resources state can provide. She shows Amy a picture of TJ and Molly, but Amy hasn’t seen them.

Lulu finishes up Dakota’s sling. Trina thanks Dakota for saving her life. Dakota thinks that’s a slight exaggeration, but Trina says either way, Dakota was brave. She wishes bigoted Troy would stop being an idiot. Besides being the paintball dude, Troy must be the bully Oscar fought with. Dakota says Troy thinks freaks like him are sinful, and should be punished. Troy probably thinks the earthquake was the wrath of God. Lulu says Dakota is a hero, and as a mom, she’d be proud if her kids showed the same courage. Everyone smiles.

Josslyn starts to feel tired. She takes off Oscar’s coat, but he’s afraid she’ll get frostbite, and insists she wear his shirt. They sit, and get under the coat. Josslyn is glad she’s with him, and he says, him too.

Jason tells Sam the roads are blocked, and they’ll have to walk from where they are. Mike sees Jason. He’s confused. Wonderful.

Sonny asks if Michael is seeing double, and Michael says he’s better. Max tells them there’s no sign of Mike. Sonny wants all of his guys looking. He needs to get Michael to the hospital.

Jordan visits Curtis, who’s lying in a hospital bed. She tells him there’s still no word on TJ, Stella, or Molly, and he hopes no news is good news, Jordan asks if he’s going to live. He says he’s got a bandaged leg, a saline drip, and the hottest law enforcement official with him. Who could be luckier? She cuffs him to the bed, and says he’s still under arrest.

Elizabeth hears the sirens. She picks up a bouquet of flowers, and goes down Memory Lane about Franco. We flash back to them becoming friends, their first kiss, and their developing relationship. She remembers him telling her that he’d never intentionally hurt her, and her telling him that they’ll face things together or not at all. We flash back to them deciding to get married, and Franco’s proposal. She says Franco will be there. She knows it.

Kim tells Oscar and Josslyn to hang in there. Drew tries a crowbar, but has no luck. How about taking the hinges off the door?

Franco says he’s got to get to Elizabeth.

Mike asks who Sam is. When she reintroduces herself, he says she’s Jason’s wife. Sam asks if he hit his head, and Jason asks if he needs to rest. Mike thinks he’s okay, but tells them he was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Jason asks why he’s there, and he says he came for a reason. He just can’t remember it.

Drew gets the door partway open, but something is blocking it. He and Kim see Josslyn and Oscar, who look like they’re sleeping.

Tomorrow, Jason asks Mike who is trapped and where, Michael needs to find out about Nelle and the baby, Nelle feels a contraction, and Oscar and Josslyn aren’t okay.

Vanderpump Rules

The SUR staff is back at work. Scheana thinks it’s amazing how fast Lisa gets things done. She says all SUR needed was a little Botox, just like everyone else in West Hollywood. Lisa talks to Tom about the designs for TomTom. He asks how early the appointments are, and she says he’s going to learn what it’s like to have a day in the life of the Vanderpump regime. Jax tells Lisa that he’s coming to supervise the girls. She asks if they had fun in Big Bear, and Jax thinks James still likes Lala. Tom says it was awkward. Lisa says she’ll see Tom in Vegas, and will be avoiding Jax.

Lala brings Scheana to the recording studio. Scheana says she used to bring Shay there when she recorded, but thinks this will be a better experience. Lala wants to start taking music seriously, since it’s therapeutic for her. She wrote the song For You for her man. She put her own money in, because she doesn’t want her man coming to collect when she hits the Billboard number one spot. I advise her not to hold her breath.

Scheana tells Lala that Jax has been talking about Rob. She says maybe she is more in love than Rob, but Lala says even if he said that, why is it a big deal? He’s a man. She says this is called dating, and welcome to adult life. In her interview, Lala thinks Scheana needs to slow it down, and wait on the marriage and baby talk. Men get spooked. You need to ease them in.

Katie and Schwartz pack. Schwartz feels like he has a lot to prove. It’s his first real business trip.

Brittany tells Jax he’d better behave. He says they’ll probably party the whole time. The priorities are drinking, then business.

Tom says he and Schwartz are walking toward their future and can’t screw it up.

They check into Planet Hollywood. The Toms get VIP treatment. Jax claims not to be jealous, but…

Ariana says the suite is insanity, and if this is what it’s like working with Lisa, sign her up. The couch suspended from the ceiling is pretty cool. Schwartz says he’s been known to walk the line between business and pleasure. Sometimes it gets blurred, but they’re going to be on their best behavior. They toast to business, and move on to the pool where there’s an amazing water slide.

Back home, Lala, Scheana, and Billie order drinks. Billie says she’s an emotional mess. Her ex can’t commit. He can’t get over that she once had a penis, and she wishes he could look at her soul and spirit instead. Scheana says she used to feel lousy with Shay, and now that she’s with walking-on-water Rob, she knows he’s the right person. Lala tells them that she has a meeting with Stassi to help plan her showcase. In her interview, she says she wouldn’t have believed it a year ago, but Stassi’s events have been stellar. She’s nervous about working with James. Scheana thinks he should be as good of a friend to Lala as she is to him. Lala says he is, until he has one sip too many. She says she’d take a bullet for him, and gets emotional. Billie suggests he might have feelings for her or a crush on her. Isn’t that the same thing?

Ariana and Katie get ready to go out. In her interview, Ariana says Katie is different when she’s not with Stassi and Kristen, creating the three-headed monster.

The guys do some gambling and have shots. They toast again to business.

Brittany meets the girls, wearing almost nothing, and carrying a pregnancy test. She’s been throwing up, and doesn’t think there’s any way, but wants to know for sure. She’s not on birth control. Katie asks if they “pray and spray,” and Brittany says that’s best way to say it. In her interview, Katie doesn’t think they should be rolling the dice. I can barely understand a word, since my mind clouded over when she said they don’t use birth control. Are they insane??? And aren’t you supposed to do the test in the morning? Brittany goes to the bathroom. Ariana says she’s not ready for this. Neither am I. Brittany comes out, they wait for the results.

Tom declares the curfew to be one thirty-ish. The girls join them. Brittany tells Jax that she keeps getting sick, and he asks if she’s pregnant. In his interview, he says she can’t be. He’s very careful, and pulls out every time. Well, not every time, but a solid 75% of the time. I don’t even know what to say; I’m so stunned. Brittany takes out the test, and he says, are you really? She tells him to read it, and laughs. Schwartz is like, omg, and Brittany says Jax is lucky. If they lived in Kentucky, they’d have at least two kids by now. He’s living in Neverland. She’s not pregnant, and in his interview, Jax says he’s 10% disappointed. He thinks be a good father, and he’s almost forty. I’m sure he’d make a great father. Except for that leading by example part. I’m going to assume this was done for the show, since no one seemed to be having much of a reaction, except for laughing at the end, but I can only pray that they’re lying about not using birth control. Please. People can’t be this stupid and breed on top of it.

Stassi meets Lala at the bar. She hates sake, but Lala is a client, so she’s drinking it. I love sake, but it’s sneaky. It goes down smooth, and you think you’re good, then you get up to go home. Lala says even though they had issues, she’s always kind of liked Stassi. We flash back to earlier times when they were at each other’s throats. Stassi relates to Lala because she gets over-emotional and defensive, and reminds her of herself. Lala admires that Stassi is loyal, and stands up for what she believes in. Stassi thinks the venue should be somewhere that already has a bar. Lala says James is performing one song, but it’s her showcase. She’s been connected musically with him in the past, but this time, the showcase is all about Lala. In her interview, Lala says it’s time she spread her legs [sic], and be the person she’s meant to be musically. The producer points out that she said, “spread her legs.” She laughs, and says she meant, spread her wings. That was a good one, and seemed genuine.

Lala tells Stassi about James coming for her when they were at Big Bear. She wonders how they can make it so he has no alcohol until he’s done with his job. Stassi says she needs to decide if she’s okay with having him around in a professional manner.

The group goes to a robot bar. Jax says he would think it’s cool if he wasn’t a bartender. He thought it was a safe zone. They move on to gambling, which I know nothing about, so have no idea what game they’re playing. Schwartz says the rules are no shots after 6 a.m., water with each drink, and no going to the ATM. He also puts the vampire law into effect. Once the sun comes up, you run to your room.

The couples tumble into bed. Schwartz says he has a big day coming. Tom thinks they must be the only people up in Vegas, but Ariana says Jax is wide awake. A few hours later, Schwartz is impressed that he and Tom are ready on time. They’re not sitting at the kiddie table anymore.

Jax says Brittany freaked him out. Brittany thought he’d be mad, and at least he has the decency to ask why. In her interview, Brittany thinks Jax would be a good dad. He’d have fun playing with the kids, but it would be like the dog situation, and she’d have to take care of everything. I hear you, sister.

The Toms go to a showroom with Lisa and Ken to look at restaurant stuff. Lisa tells us that each restaurant has its own personality, And TomTom will be different than the others; she has a vision. It’s not going to be pretty, but industrial romantic. She wants wrought iron, chandeliers, Edison bulbs, and to be more architectural. Sounds kind of like Steampunk to me. She and Schwartz look at dishware. Lisa tells him that his opinion matters. She’ll never use it, but it matters. In her interview, she says she wants the restaurant to have a masculine edge – unlike Tom and Tom. The sales VP gives Lisa a BOGO deal. In his interview, Schwartz says shopping with Lisa is like playing one on one with LeBron James. Lisa says they were actually on time and looked pretty good. It’s nice to know they can listen and learn, and maybe it will work out after all. She tells them there’s a meeting at 10 a.m. tomorrow. Schwartz feels professional. He takes portable Jell-O shots out of his pocket at the store.

The group gathers around the suspended sofa. Jax gives Tom a guitar for his birthday, and everyone sings Happy Birthday. Tom says Jax does sh*tty things, but can also be a nice guy. There’s a kind heart buried underneath somewhere. Tom plays, and the girls get a birthday cake together. It has a penis drawn on it because Tom just turned fourteen.

Lisa has reserved a private dining room for the Toms and their ladies. They sip rosé, and Tom wonders if this is what it’s going to be like working with Lisa. Ariana says it feels like being a trophy wife. In her interview, Katie says it’s all she’s wanted for Schwartz. He’s finally excited about and committed to something. They agree that James would order a pizza.

James does a photo shoot with Lala and Raquel as an audience. His DJ gig is doing well, and he wants bigger and better things. Next, he’s throwing a party under a blimp. Lala tells them about going to the studio with Scheana. She says since Scheana had recorded before, she put her ass in a booth. We see a clip, and she stinks to high heaven. Lala says she loves Scheana with all her heart, but she’s tone deaf, and that part is getting cut. Lala’s boyfriend isn’t coming to the showcase because he has to work. James thinks if her man can’t take a night off to support his girl, it’s sad. Lala says it’s not James’s showcase, and he’s not allowed to drink until after the performance. He claims to be professional when comes to music, and they toast to no drinking.

Tom won’t stop making jokes involving the word quack, because they’re having duck. Schwartz asks what the curfew is, and Tom says 3 a.m. at the latest. In his interview, Tom says they’ve matured now, and are climbing the mountain to success. Nothing is getting in his way.

At eleven o’clock, they take a limo to Tao, and the others meet them there. In his interview, Tom says he only has so much restraint. A line of women come out with neon signs spelling out Tom’s name, and a giant cupcake with a candle in it. Many, many shots happen. Jax stops Schwartz from drinking directly out of the bottle. Schwartz says he’s letting Tom take the lead, and Tom says the same thing about Schwartz. Tom tells Schwartz another hour, but somehow, they get back in the limo shortly after three.

Lisa meets with the Caesar’s entertainment guy. Her rosé is going to be served there. Pandora is also at the meeting, and wonders where the Toms are. Lisa is getting concerned.

At 10:20, Ariana and Katie tell their significant others they’re late for the meeting. Schwartz says he’ll have to take an Adderall to focus. No judgement, but that makes two cast members openly using that not for its intended purpose. Lisa wonders where those two little twits are.

Lisa is getting worried, and only has so much patience. Schwartz says he’s sweating Fireball, and his hair smells like cigarettes. Lisa says it’s not looking so good. It’s the antithesis of what happened yesterday. She’s not impressed by their actions, or their odor; they smell like a brewery. Lisa doesn’t want them lagging behind. They go to the designer’s showroom.

Lisa calls him a genius, and says he’s more than a designer; he’s a craftsman. They look at some pieces, and I’m thinking definitely Steampunk. I love it. Lisa picks some things out. She says there’s a lot to think about in putting a restaurant together. It has an image. It’s not just about food, but a whole experience. She sketches some things for the designer, and he gives her some ideas. Lisa tells the Toms to settle down or do something else; they’re making her nervous. They tell her they’re just excited, but it’s that point in the hangover when you’re still a little drunk, and God knows what they took in the morning to wake up. In her interview, Lisa says that when someone knows more than you do, you have to understand when to zip it. This could be that time. Lisa talks to Ken in the other room, saying they’re driving her crazy. Tom interrupts, wanting to show them something, but Lisa tells him to wait. In his interview, Tom thinks he said too much because he drank too much. He hopes Lisa isn’t questioning their partnership. Schwartz tells Tom that his liver is pickled.

Next time, Jax wears a man romper, James’s dad comes to his gig, and Billie is going on a date with someone Stassi thinks is creepy.

🏊 The parents came for a visit on Summer House. The only thing sadder than people still being prepubescent in their thirties, are the parents encouraging that behavior. After they left, Kyle had a birthday party, with the theme being a protest to growing up. I can’t imagine someone like him being in my circle of friends when I was thirty-five. Or even twenty-five. The party was filled with guests in Colonial costume – an ode to the Boston Tea Party – and Stephen dressed like the queen. Stephen seems to be the voice of reason on this show. Probably because, being gay, he isn’t distracted and brain-addled by so many boobies living in the house.

🌌 I’d love to see A Wrinkle in Time. It was one of my favorite books as a kid. I must have read it at least ten times. However, I’ve vowed to avoid anything under an R rating after seeing Secret Window with Johnny Depp. He was in the movie; he wasn’t my date. I felt like I was in the middle of a field trip, surrounded by lit-up phone screens. Unfortunately, my peripheral vision is really good, and it was totally distracting.

😩 The latest in TV advertisement stupidity are the commercials for medicine, both prescription and OTC, warning us not to take it if we’re allergic to it. And while you’re at it, let me remind you, that plastic bag is not a toy.

🎩 A Little Steampunk…