What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Alexis meets Finn. He shows her parking tickets. She says, hi, Alexis, how are you? He says, hi, and asks how to fix this. She can’t believe he got so many in three weeks, and parked in a handicapped spot. He tells her about helping an old lady with her groceries in the snow, and being invited in for tea. He was all of fifteen minutes, and when he came out, had the tickets. She asks if he has medical plates, and he says he does. She tells him that she’s expensive, but he says he’d rather pay her than pay the man. She tells him no one says that anymore, and he says he’s bringing it back. She’ll try to make the tickets disappear if he makes their fake relationship go away.

Griff looks over an anonymous letter to Jordan, saying that Peter is Henrik and she should investigate. Anna walks in, and says he’s been keeping secrets.

Lulu goes to Peter’s office. She tells him she’s working on something, and could use his help. She needs assistance in atoning for Nathan’s death.

Nina sees Maxie at the hospital. Since she was late for work, Nina checked Maxie’s calendar, and she had an appointment. She can’t believe she forgot and didn’t put it on her own calendar. Maxie says she didn’t forget; she didn’t tell her.

Spinelli gives Jason a fat manila envelope, telling him everything he needs is in there. He says it’s prudent to prepare for every eventuality, however remote it is. Jason says Spinelli should be with his daughter, but he says she’s already back in Portland. She doesn’t understand the situation, but comprehends the importance of coming through for friends. He tells Jason if he’s successful, Sam won’t feel obligated to be with Drew and can follow her heart. Jason says he’s going to a lot of trouble for something that already happened. Sam and Drew broke up.

Sam drops by Drew’s office. He didn’t think she was coming in when he saw she’s cleared her schedule. She says she came to say goodbye.

Peter asks if Lulu hasn’t made any inroads with Maxie. Lulu tells him that they were both invited to a gathering, and Maxie didn’t even make eye contact. Peter says she’s grieving, and will eventually realize Faison killed Nathan, not her. Lulu says she’s the one who brought him to Port Charles, but Peter says he shares that responsibility for encouraging her. He’ll do what he can to help. She hoped he’d say that, and asks if he can get her an advance copy of The Severed Branch. He asks what she’s going to do with it, and she says, expose Henrik.

Nina tells Maxie that she gets it; hormonal forgetfulness. Maxie asks, what if it didn’t slip her mind? Nina says, an appointment without her birthing coach and sister-in-law? Is Maxie over her or something?

Finn asks which part of their relationship Alexis wants to disappear, and she says, the romantic part. She didn’t think her life was any of Julian’s business, and thought he’d stop dogging her. She’d rather be honest than find herself having to explain how everything isn’t related to her feelings for him.

Anna tells Griff that she was making an appointment, and thought she’d pop into the lounge to see if she could persuade him to stay with her. A little bird told her he’d already moved to better digs. He says, Amy. Anna says Amy told her that he’s living with Ava. He tells Anna that his apartment was condemned. It sped thing things up, but he’s really just a guest. She asks if he’s sleeping in the guest room. He says he sees her hunt for Henrik hasn’t distracted her from her mother hen tendencies. She says apparently, her concern was unwarranted, and Griff says, enough about him; how is the search going? She explains she’s working with Jason, and they both have leads. Griff says from what he’s heard, Jason is a killer. Anna believes he’s selective about his targets. In her profession, he’s considered an asset. He asks if she’s willing to stand aside and let him kill Henrik.

Spinelli asks Jason, what led to this welcome occurrence? Jason tells him that he and Sam were trapped in the earthquake. Spinelli interrupts, asking if when they made it out, they confessed their depthless, passionate, abiding love. Jason says Sam said she loves him, but she also loves Drew. She has to be honest about what’s going on with her, and when she told Drew, he left her.

Drew asks if Sam is really leaving Port Charles. She says for a few days, maybe a week. She needs time to figure things out and clear her head; she’s leaving in a few hours. He asks what about the kids, and she says she’s taking Danny. If it’s okay, she’d like to take Scout, but she doesn’t want to make assumptions. He says he doesn’t know if it’s his place to ask anymore, but is Jason going?

Nina asks Maxie if she did something wrong. Maybe she’s not good enough. Maxie she’s doing everything. It means world to her that Nina cares. She doesn’t know what she’d do without her. She loves Nina; they’re sisters. She just needs space right now. Nina asks if she’s been smothering Maxie, and Maxie says no, but sometimes when she looks at Nina, all she sees is Nathan.

Lulu tells Peter that she already cleared the story with her editor. He asks what she needs the book for, and she says maybe she can find a lead or research the material. She thought he might be able to snag a review copy. Peter says he has one already, and asks if she’s sure she wants to do this. It could destroy any chance of reconciliation.

Griff asks if Anna leads Jason to Henrik, won’t she feel responsible for his death? She says she won’t let that happen. Griff says their goals are different. Isn’t there anyone else she can trust? She thinks about Finn telling her that she saved his life. She says no one she’d risk getting hurt.

Alexis tells Finn that her sobriety was easier when she lied. Sometimes a fib can be useful. He says she is a lawyer. He’s concerned that taking the high road with Julian will end up dragging her down. He says, when there’s a lie, make it the truth. She tells him she doesn’t speak fortune cookie. He says she told Julian they were serious, so let’s be serious.

Maxie asks if Nina doesn’t feel the same way, seeing Nathan when she looks at her. They’re close, and she’s grateful, but with closeness comes something else. Nina says, sadness. She feels it too; she’s just trying to make her happy and make everything better. Maxie says Bobbie told her, no one person can do that; only time. Nina asks where do they go from here? It feels like she’s getting dumped. She asks if Maxie wants to be left alone, but Maxie says, not at all. Just a little less time. Maybe four nights a week instead of six. Nina says, five, and Maxie says it works for her. They hug. Maxie tells Nina that she couldn’t get through this without her. Nina says Mac and Felicia had better pick up the slack, and Maxie says, they will. She also has Spinelli, Bobbie, and Peter. Nina says Peter is her boss. Maxie says Peter is a friend who happens to be her boss. She tells Nina about him crashing at her place, and explains that it’s important for her to spend time with people who aren’t so connected. Nina says she just wants Maxie and the baby to be happy. Maxie says, one day they will be.

Peter tells Lulu that the last time she tracked down a mystery, it blew up in her face. She says this time it isn’t to catch anyone, but unmask them, so someone else can catch them. She doubts Maxie will forgive her, but it might give her some measure of peace. If it wasn’t for Henrik, Nathan would be alive. Peter says she’s making assumptions. What if he’s only guilty of being Faison’s son? Lulu says, then that’s the story she’ll write. Peter gives her the book, and tells her to keep him in the loop If she finds something, he wants to hear about it.

Alexis asks if Finn wants her to take a lie, and make it the truth by really having a relationship. He’s not suggesting moving in, but they both hate the word dating. She says seeing each other doesn’t work, and going out sounds like high school. He says if they choose to elevate the relationship, they’ll find a new adult word. She says it wouldn’t be horrible, and they don’t mind each other’s company. She’ll check her calendar. He says, in the meantime, and points out the tickets. She asks if he knows it’s the same bade number on all of them. That means they were issued by the same officer. Finn takes the tickets, saying never mind; he’ll deal with it himself. He has free time now that he’s not bringing down drug dealers with Anna. He leaves, and he and Anna literally bump into each other as she’s walking in. Anna goes to the bar, and makes a phone call. Alexis watches her.

Jason tells Spinelli about going to the pier, and getting into a fight with Drew. Spinelli says that’s not like him. He’s normally cool and collected to a fault. He’s never seen Jason fight unless someone else throws the first punch. Jason says he cops arrested both of them. Sam came to the station to pay Drew’s fine. He left, she stayed, and they had a chance to talk. Spinelli says, about? Jason thinks back Sam wanting to find out who she is, and the possible reality of ending up without wither of them. Jason says for the first time since he came back, it feels like Sam is making her own decisions, and following her own instincts. Underneath, she’s starting to trust herself again. Spinelli asks if they talked about future plans, and Jason says she was thinking about taking Danny and Scout on a trip. When she comes back, it’s for her to figure out. Spinelli has to get to the airport. He says if he’s successful, he’ll come back with what they want. If he fails – he pats the envelope – the contingency plan is in Jason’s hands.

Sam tells Drew that she needs time by herself to figure things out. He gets it, and she thanks him for understanding. He says they have a lot to discuss when she gets back. He doesn’t know if it’s too soon or inappropriate, but they have to figure out how to divvy up everything they worked so hard to build.

Anna talks on the phone to Frisco, saying Obrecht told her that Faison raised Henrik. She’s looking for his last known whereabouts, and if Obrecht was with Faison at that time. She hasn’t turned up anything regarding boarding schools. Alexis approaches her, and she tells Frisco to hold on. Alexis says she’d like to have a chat when it’s convenient. Anna asks if it’s quick. Alexis says it doesn’t need to be, and to call her about Finn. Anna tells Frisco that she’ll call back.

Chase finds Finn at the hospital, and says he sees Finn got his messages. Finn says it’s harassment. Chase says he calls, but Finn doesn’t pick up, and there’s no response. Finn tears the tickets up, and says, here’s a response. Chase tells him destroying the tickets doesn’t make them go away. He just wants some of Finn’s time. Why is that objectionable?

Lulu sits at Kelly’s lunch counter. Jason sees her with the book. He says he didn’t know it was ready for publication. Lulu says she borrowed an advance copy from Peter.

Peter plays with a Zippo lighter. He  thinks about Maxie telling him how she got through the night because she wasn’t alone. Maxie asks if she’s interrupting, but Peter says he’s just daydreaming. He tells her that she looks rested. She says she is, and he’s glad to hear it. She asks if he’s glad he doesn’t have to scrunch on her couch again. He asks if she’s feeling smothered. She tells him that Nina tracked her down at the hospital. She’d checked Maxie’s personal calendar and found out she had an appointment. Maxie had to let her know she purposely didn’t tell her, but thinks they had a good talk.

Nina stomps around the hospital, and remembers Peter going to the appointment with Maxie. She flashes back to when Peter and Maxie made up the story about his vasectomy, and when they were picking up food at the MetroCourt. She starts kicking the wall. Griff tells her she’s going to break her foot, and she says she’d rather break Peter’s face instead.

Sam agrees she and Drew have a lot to sort out. There’s also the custody of Scout. He says he doesn’t want to fight, and they both talk at once. He guesses there’s really not a whole lot to discuss. The apartment is hers and everything it. She says what about the company? It’s theirs.

Jason says Henrik finished the book, and Lulu says PK Sinclair did, but if they’re right, he’s Henrik. She hasn’t read it yet, but from the inside flap, she got that the hero was under the thumb of his cruel, repressive father, and is out for revenge. Jason says he had the original, unfinished copy, and Spinelli wrote a program to predict the end of the book, but it would help to see the real ending. She hands him the book, and says, be my guest.

Peter tells Maxie that he isn’t surprised Nina took it so well. She’s a generous, loving person. Maxie says his name was brought up, and Peter gets that Nina is protective. Maxie says she doesn’t need to be, and she tried to convey that. He asks how that went, and she thinks it went well. Nina isn’t thrilled that they’re friends, but is understanding that he’s not a threat. She doesn’t think Nina will get in the way of their friendship.

Griff ices Nina’s foot. He guesses she’s not a fan of Peter’s. She asks what he knows about Peter, and Griff says he helps Drew and Sam run Aurora. Nina wonders how he’s in town this long and all they know is what he does for a living and that he’s a good friend. Griff tells her that she’s saying it like it’s a fault. She says it is when the object of his friendship is an expectant mother and widow leaning on him too hard. She thinks there’s something they don’t know.

Chase says he’s seen more of Finn in the last three days than the past ten years. Finn says he’s spent the bulk of that arresting him, and it’s harassment. Chase says he just wants to know Finn. Why doesn’t Finn show him around? He doesn’t know anyone and gets lonely. Finn hears there’s an app for that. Chase suggests they get a drink, but Finn says he doesn’t drink. Chase says he should know that, but doesn’t. Can’t brothers do better? Finn says they can, but not these two.

Alexis says she and Anna have to talk, since she and Finn have gotten closer. Anna says she’s been deep into an investigation, and isn’t on top of the social calendar. Alexis says she and Finn are good friends, and she’s fine with keeping it there if it would be getting in the way of something he and Anna have. Anna thinks if she and Finn have something, they wouldn’t be having this conversation. They agree they respect each other, and Alexis asks if Finn is available. Anna tells her to ask him, but Alexis thinks she should ask Anna, and repeats the question.

Peter tells Maxie that their friendship could be construed as a conflict of interest, since he’s her boss. In the hallway, Griff listens in. He’s getting good at that. She says he’s Nina’s boss, and Nina is her boss. He says she’s also Maxie’s sister-in-law. Maxie says she’s known for speaking her mind, and doesn’t hold things back. She doesn’t think their friendship is a problem, and told Nina it’s valuable and she has to respect that. Maxie leaves, and Griff looks worried. His main talent.

Nina calls Curtis. She tells him she wants to hire him for a priority investigation.

Anna tells Alexis that she doesn’t need to ask for permission. Alexis thinks she does. They’re not dating, just getting to know each other better. Anna says, by dating. Alexis asks if it’s a problem for her, and Anna says it would only be a problem if she didn’t make him happy. Alexis says that’s a tall order; he’s not exactly bubbling with joy. Anna says, it’s fine; have at it, and good luck. She leaves, and Alexis puzzles over this.

Chase says Finn doesn’t make it easy. They have the same father; it must count for something. Finn says he was gone before Chase was in the picture. They had no relationship then, and there’s no reason to have one now. he gets in the elevator, and the door closes.

Drew asks if Sam thinks they can work together and not be together. She says they don’t have to figure it out now. She doesn’t trust making a giant life decision after another one; she needs time to think. He says it’s fine. She tells him that she has a plane to catch. He tells her to be safe, and she says, him too.

Lulu tells Jason she already inquired, and PK Sinclair has little or no contact with the publishing company. Everything was finalized by email. He has to get paid, so maybe they should follow the money. She asks if the ending matches, and Jason says there are some variations. In the epilogue, he says all that’s left of his father is him. That, and a memento he took before their final goodbye; a lighter. He knew the day might come when he’d burn his own life down, as he brought his father’s to ashes.

Peter plays with the lighter. Griff knocks at the door. Peter asks if there’s a problem, and Griff says, you could say that. Peter wonders if there was a mistake on his test results, and Griff says there was a problem with the paperwork – his name. He wrote Peter August, but that’s a lie. His name is Henrik Faison.

Tomorrow, Franco knows what to do, Griff wants Peter to turn himself in, and Nina wants Curtis to investigate Peter.

Vanderpump Rules

The girls head to the beach early. Stassi says life is better today. She actually got some sleep after taking a sleeping pill. Kristen says she came in at 8:30, and Stassi didn’t even wake up. Katie tells Kristen that the guys said she and James hooked up.

Twelve hours earlier…

At a club, Jax is angry with Scheana for showing Brittany there are guys other than him. James invades the DJ booth and tries to explain house music. In his interview, he says he’s never without a thumb drive with music on it. He says, it’s a See You Next Tuesday Mexican edition. Or as I would call it, a James takeover. In his interview, Jax admits James is good at getting the party started and turning it up. In her interview, Kristen says James has the potential to be really talented, and does a great job as DJ. Lala says he slays life. Apparently, these people don’t get out as much as they claim to. Kristen tells James that she’s fun, and that they’ve dated. He’s confused, since he knows she’s fun, because they dated. Stassi thinks it’s freaking weird seeing them drinking and laughing together, and we flash back to some hateful moments between them. Kristen says their time together reminds her of a bad mushroom trip, and James drinks some more. The group heads out. Jax has a bottle of vodka in his pants. Some things never change. Jax is one of them.

In the morning, both Kristen and James’s beds are empty. Jax tells Brittany that Scheana is bullsh*t, trying to set her up on a date. He doesn’t go to Rob and tell him to explore other options. He says Kristen has to be kept at arm’s reach, because she’ll talk sh*t behind your back. He tells Brittany about seeing Kristen and James drinking in the pool at 7 am. She’s not believing they hooked up, but he tells her to look at the pillows. In his interview, he presents the evidence of the case. He tells Brittany about James grabbing a bottle of tequila and finding the pillows – the smoking gun – oddly arranged later. He knows what he saw. Brittany says if he’d put half the effort of this reenactment into their relationship, they’d be fine.

Giggy! Ken brings a dog to Lisa. Her name is Monroe, and someone dumped her at the rescue center; they didn’t want her anymore. I can’t even imagine that. Lisa says she can’t have another dog, and he suggests just a few days. She says some of their strays are doing well. Look at James, and how well he’s doing. There’s hope for lost causes. Her personal rule is not falling in love with every stray and bringing it home. She thinks Monroe should meet other people. She doesn’t like the name Monroe, but Ken says she can’t change it unless she’s going to keep her. She thinks she might be in trouble.

Tom drinks I-don’t-know-what the second he gets up. Ariana says he has the most on point golf outfit of all time. He says he might suck at golf, but he’ll look good doing it. Schwartz tells Katie he’s going golfing. In his interview, he says last night is a blur. He remembers tequila shots, James shirtless, penis flutes, dancing, and kissing Katie. From there, he doesn’t know what happened, and he’s not feeling too good.

Lala receives roses from her boyfriend with a note saying he loves and misses her. She asks if Rob gives Scheana flowers, but Scheana says she’s not a flower person. Lala asks what kind of gifts he gives, and she says she doesn’t like gifts; she prefers affection to presents. In her interview, Lala says Scheana still feels the need to pretend when they all know it. She’s not getting affection or gifts. Lala says her man loves giving gifts. Scheana says she doesn’t need all that; she’s simple. Lala sucks on her baby bottle, and we both refrain from making jokes.

Jax says he’ll be happy just to get the ball on the tee. James says he and Schwartz are wasted. They were drinking until sunrise, and still are. These guys golf worse than I do, and I suck. Tom says he’s golfed on many courses, but they’ve all been the miniature kind. Schwartz and James stay in the carts, while the other three drive holes into the lawn. James drives off the road, and Peter tells him that he can’t do that. In response, James gives him the finger and crashes into another cart. Jax says they’re a motley crew. James couldn’t find the hole if a shiny arrow pointed to it. Jax tells the guys about his theory on Kristen and James, saying they weren’t braiding each other’s hair at that hour in the hot tub. Tom asks James if he knows how Kristen is today.

He asks if James hooked up with Kristen, but in his drunken state, James interprets it as hanging out, and says, maybe a little bit, but not really. Jax says they were destined to be friends. Tom asks if they brought cushions to the hot tub. James says no, but Jax has pictures. James accuses Jax of focusing on him because his own relationship is in turmoil. Peter says they have two deflectors, deflecting against each other. Jax shows James a cushion picture, and James says he took a nap. In his interview, James defines hanging out versus hooking up, and says the latter didn’t happen. James tells them his girlfriend is sexy AF, and about to be Miss USA. I try to figure this out, since she’s from Australia. He claims he’s never cheated on her. He says Jax hurt his feelings, and everyone laughs. Jax says no one will narc on him, and just be honest. James says Jax is bringing him back to an old place, and he doesn’t like the bullying. Jax calls him hungover and emotional. In his interview, James says he woke up in a Mexico in a hellhole of lies. He’s upset Jax would do this to him, after he outed Scheana trying to get Brittany interested in another guy. He gets all weepy.

Brittany and Scheana get massages. Scheana tells Brittany that Tom was pissed about her trying to set up Brittany with Adam. Brittany says Jax wouldn’t leave her alone, but she’s glad he feels insecure. In her interview, Scheana says after what Jax did, she’s glad to set Brittany up with someone else. Brittany tells her about Jax claiming James and Kristen hooked up. Scheana says Carter will be pissed if he finds out.

Kristen doesn’t remember last night totally, but viva la Mexico.

Ariana and Lala join Scheana and Brittany at the spa. Ariana didn’t get to bed until 7 am. Brittany says she passed out while everyone was still in her suite. Lala says Kristen and James seemed to be connecting. Brittany says it was only them and a pillow left at the end. Lala wonders if there was kissy-kissy. Scheana is sure Carter must have been happy about the shirtless James Snapchat. In her interview, Lala believes something happened, instructing us that once a hole has been entered, it’s easy to have reentry. She said this, not me.

At the TomTom site, Lisa discusses logistics with handyman Santi, who says it looks good. Wearing a pink hardhat, Lisa goes up on a lift. Ken arrives, and isn’t thrilled about her being up there. Lisa says the bar isn’t sexy yet, but will be. It’s starting to feel like a bar. It will be an unusual combo; romantic industrial. She talks about having velvet booths juxtaposed with steel. Ken says she’s stuck on the building site, and Lisa says she’s having fun. They talk about the kids being in Mexico. Lisa is waiting for Brittany to see the light. Ken says she’s a girl from the country and he’s a man of the world, although that wouldn’t be my term for him. Lisa feels an analogy coming on, and says she wouldn’t have put up with that kind of bullsh*t. In her interview, she says Ken owned clothing shops where women came to get dressed, and wine bars where women came to get undressed. She tells Ken she would never have put up with him stealing or shagging one of her friends.

We’re back to the beginning on the beach. Katie tells Kristen that when Schwartz came back from golfing, he said James told him they hooked up. Stassi tells Kristen that she can’t put herself in these situations. She asks Kristen if she blacked out, and Kristen says, don’t you dare, but Stassi says it’s happened before. Kristen says she’d never, ever, ever, ever cheat on Carter. Stassi reminds her that she lied for an entire summer about hooking up with Jax. We flash back to that, and I shudder. Kristen says she won’t have sh*t made up about her. In her interview, Stassi says she’d be an idiot not to ask questions. She tells Kristen that they’re not the bad guys. In her interview, Kristen says she’s grown since then. She tells them she’s about to knock someone’s ass out. Yep. Totally grown.

The rest of the group arrives, minus James, who’s sleeping it off. Kristen says, let’s effing talk, and asks if James said they hooked up. Jax tells her that’s what he said. Tom says James told them maybe a little bit. Tom says that Schwartz did a disappearing act. Schwartz says he ended up in a different resort, but he’s not sure how he got there. The workers brought him back. Katie says his not knowing where he was concerns her. In her interview, she says he’s still going to the point of blacking out, and has a lot at stake – his marriage and TomTom. She doesn’t want him to jeopardize that. He says he almost remembers everything. Katie tells him that he’s not drinking for the rest of the day. Stassi suggests he act like a bar owner.

James is still lying in bed, and Peter asks how it’s going. He says he’s feeling better, and Peter notices the open bottle of vodka next to the bed. James asks where Peter went, and Peter tells him, the beach, where James and Kristen were the topic. He tells James about what Jax said, and James says Jax is obviously insecure, and gets joy out of other people’s relationships crumbling. If he’s spreading rumors, Kristen must be livid. Peter says she was.

It’s suit night, but Jax is passing on polyester; it’s 110 degrees outside. James texts Kristen not to listen to that nutcase saying he’s done anything; it’s a lie. She thinks it’s a lame attempt James fitting in with the guys at her expense. Stassi tells her not to be impulsive.

Tom is pissed off, since he went to the effort of getting short suits for the guys. Now Jax and Schwartz won’t wear them. I have news for him. I don’t know anyone who would wear them, and if I was a guy, I wouldn’t wear them. Tom is wearing a leopard print pair of knee-length shorts and a leopard short-sleeved jacket, with a matching tie and white shirt. Jax says it’s so awful, it’s awesome, but its 800 degrees. I’d say it’s just awful, and he’s probably exaggerating about the heat. James compares Kristen to a Venus fly trap. You get caught and stuck, and have to pretend you’re dead, then slowly leave. They sit down at a restaurant for dinner, and Schwartz tells Brittany he wants food from Chili’s. He’s been drinking all day, he’s barely alive, and needs hangover food. He’s not craving ceviche, but the unlimited breadsticks sound good.

In her interview, Stassi tells us that she and Patrick are in a text fight. She forgot to text him when she got there, but doesn’t want to be on the phone fighting in Mexico. She says she hasn’t FaceTimed with him since he got mad at her. Why FaceTime with someone who’s just going to yell at her? Brittany tells Kristen that James said it, and everyone heard it. Kristen says he’s going down.

James claims that’s not what he said. Kristen tells him that Brittany claims he definitely did. Tom stands up, thanks Brittany, and wishes another happy birthday to Jax. He hopes they can all come and see where he and Schwartz are at with TomTom. They all toast. Kristen wants to make a toast next. She says, cheers to TomTom, thanks Brittany, and wishes Jax a happy birthday for the fourteen-millionth time. She adds that James said she hooked up with him, and James tells her that he never said that. She says four people here say he did. Tom says he told them, maybe a little. James is adamant that he didn’t say that. Jax tells him to own it. Schwartz chimes in, and James is annoyed that he’s getting ganged up on by the old men. In his interview, a lot is bleeped, but he calls both Jax and Brittany fat, which makes me scowl at the TV. I don’t care what he says about Jax, but he has no business commenting on Brittany at all. Kristen wants to throw him across the room. Katie is like, no, you can’t do that. In her interview, Katie says she’s not sympathetic to people who act like children. I hear you, Katie. Kristen says James is exactly who she thought he was. He says he doesn’t give a flying what she thinks. Stassi says he should, and he doesn’t give one about her opinion either. He calls Kristen an attention seeker, and tells her to shut up. Kristen throws a drink at him. Lala is like, wtf?, since half the drink went on her, and jumps up. James calls Kristen white trash, and walks out; Lala following. In her interview, Lala says it’s the lowest of low to throw a drink. She’s pushed people down, but never throws a margarita with salt, because she’s not a bitch. I don’t even know what to say, except I guess that makes sense to her. James insists if he said anything, it was a joke. These people need to stop drinking to blackout level. Or just stop drinking.

Next time, Lala gets an injury from her baby bottle, Kristen tells Carter about the James rumor, Jax confronts Adam, and Lisa tells Jax to leave.

🍑 A Halloween/Eva’s birthday party happened on The Real Housewives of Atlanta. I love a costume party, and the ladies did not disappoint. The venue was impressive – a decommissioned church, and all of the costumes were fabulous. I gave the award for Most Amusing to NeNe and Gregg, who went as an exterminator and roach, respectively. If you’re out of the Atlanta loop, this was in answer to Kim’s posting a video of several water bugs in NeNe’s newly renovated bathroom. They keep calling them roaches, but after twenty years in New York, I know what a roach is, and we call the gargantuan ones from the South, water bugs. In Florida, they’re palmetto bugs. We did occasionally get them in NYC, but they’re about 65,000 times bigger than the average roach there. And they fly. Sorry. I didn’t mean to get off on a roach tangent, but it’s irritated me that Kim is intimating NeNe does not keep a clean house, when that has nothing to do with these mammoth mofos. Anyway, Kim was not down with this humor, once again hanging a question mark over my head. How is this nasty, petty, humorless woman the same one joking around with chef Tracey, and running from possums, on Don’t Be Tardy? It’s like she’s two different people. She and Kroy came as a Playboy bunny and Hef, btw. I loved Kandi’s costume as well. She was the clown from It, but in a white lacey confection. Holding a red balloon, she looked both pretty and pretty scary. Next time, the reunion. Porsha wearing a tiara ought to be worth the price of admission.

🏨 No pun intended, but I highly recommend Abandoned on Viceland. Professional skateboarder, Rick McCrank, finds abandoned places to display his talents, but the show is much more than that. It’s rich in history of the local areas, and the places themselves. All of the episodes are constantly in rotation, but my favorite is the first one, Ghost Mall, where Rick tours northeastern Ohio, mecca of abandoned shopping malls. An area where I’m originally from, the closest mall to my hometown wasn’t featured (I have no idea if it’s dead or not), but there was one mall I was familiar with. The show was a heartstring-tugger, interviews with locals who spent time there when the malls were alive, contributing to the melancholy. I’m very drawn to abandoned places, and if you are too, this is the show for you.

🚤 Summer House mercifully had it’s finale. Kyle said they’ve come a long way since last year. Not really. The reunion might be interesting.

😐 Something to ponder…

Petulant is a great word, especially when said with a British accent.

😢 Randall Park Mall