Tag Archives: Andy Cohen

Aug3

August 2, 2016 – GH is Off the Island, the Haves are Off the Chain & the Shahs Reunite

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Dante did tackle Sam. And she was right. Jason is back.

Valentin is in Port Charles, sans mustache. He startles Nina, who has dropped her keys. She tells him that her ex-boyfriend has her distracted. Because you always give strangers information like that.

Jordan tells Franco that they have some more questions. She says there was another suspicious death at the hospital and Franco is a person of interest.

Jocelyn gets a text from Jax that he’s back in town. Carly tells Jax she’s dropping the organ donor search, but he doesn’t believe her. She says the conversation is over and he says it’s just getting started. He tells her his mission is to protect their daughter and she’s being misguided.

Jordan wants Franco to come to the station. Elizabeth says she and Franco have been together several hours, so he couldn’t have just killed someone. Jordan mentions the vial he had when he was at the hospital. He says he picked it up off the floor in Miss Prescott’s room. Jordan says she’s dead now and it tested positive for the drug that killed the other patients.

Valentin tells Nina her ex sounds like a real tool and I laugh. Nina says she’s going to call it a night. Valentin, who has somehow wormed his way into her room, apologizes for her lousy night and she thanks him for making the end better. He tells her she’s better off without her ex. Before he leaves, he asks her if she’s with Crimson. She says she’s the editor, and he asks if she’s Nina Reeves. He says he didn’t grow up with the finer things and had to educate himself.

Jason says he managed to turn off the engines, but the plane still caught fire. He ran and the explosion knocked him out. Lulu says everyone is fine considering they don’t know where they are. They tell Jason about the boat and he suggests a plan to make a signal fire. Ava says Valentin could still be looking for them.

Valentin says Crimson keeps him current. A women’s fashion magazine? Really? They somehow get on the subject of Nicholas. Nina says she was going to do an interview with him before his death.

Jocelyn is excited about her father being in town and Sonny suggests they surprise him at the MetroCourt.

Carly says she thinks it’s smart to have the medical history of the donor, but Jocelyn asked her to stop the search, so she did. Jax says he knows her M.O. and she’ll agree to something and then do what she wants behind someone’s back. He says doing a complete 180 isn’t her, but lying about something is.

Valentin introduces himself as Theo Hart. Okay, we’re back to that name. Nina asks him about the cut over his eye. He says someone treated him unkindly, but he’s sure they’re very sorry right now.

Ava says Valentin must have sabotaged the plane, and might have guards around. Jason says they’ll take the chance. Lulu and Laura talk about Nicholas. Lulu says before this, all she and Dante could think about was creating a new life, and now she can only think about death. Laura says they have to stay strong for Spencer.

Spencer calls Nicholas’s cell phone and leaves a message apologizing for letting the cat out of the bag. A camp counselor comes in and asks him what he has under the blanket.

Sonny asks Kristina if she’s okay. She says she’s okay and he tells her that she can always come to him. She says things aren’t perfect, but it’s nothing they can solve in one night. Sonny leaves and she tells Morgan about Sonny finding out Parker was a woman. He’s like, I told you so, and she tells him how Sonny found out.

Jax tells Carly she hasn’t thought things out. She says she just wants to help their daughter. They talk about the transplant and Jax says if they find out a child died for the organ, Jocelyn will be devastated. Carly says she’d never give Jocelyn that information, but Jax says it’s got a way of getting out.

Franco explains how he left a statue for Miss Prescott and Jordan says the vial he was holding had the drug in it. She says they didn’t find a syringe though, and asks if he’d object to a search of the studio. He says it’s a witch hunt and if she wants to search, get a warrant.

Jocelyn and Sonny show up at the MetroCourt. Jocelyn says she was too excited to wait to see him. Jax tells Sonny he knows his visit must be a surprise. Sonny says maybe to Carly, but not to him.

Nina tells Theo that she’s worked hard to turn the magazine around. He asks if she has any juicy details about the piece she was going to do on Nicholas. She tells him to drop the act and says she knows what he’s trying to do.

Jason tells Sam he’s sore, but nothing is broken. Dante tells Jason that he’ll make sure he’s cleared of any charges in Nicholas’s death. Ava says Nicholas made a bad decision he couldn’t outrun. Sam says she helped him frame Jason. Ava asks if that even matters anymore, and everyone agrees they want to get home to their children.

Laura takes Lulu aside. She says if someone sees the signal, they’ll be okay. Laura sees the bracelet on Lulu and says she doesn’t remember her wearing it. Lulu says it was on a skeleton in one of the access tunnels. Laura is like, you don’t think…? and Lulu says she doesn’t want to believe it, but it’s possible Luke is dead.

Spencer’s counselor tells him to go to sleep. As soon as the counselor is gone, Spencer calls Laura and leaves a detailed message about his performance in the camp play.

Ava says she’ll tend to the signal fire, while Sam takes a break. Laura tells Lulu that this could all be a massive set-up by Helena. She says Helena wanted them to find the skeleton. Lulu says Helena wouldn’t have known Nicholas was going to fake his death and Valentin would show up. Laura says Helena sent her on a wild goose chase and wanted her to come there. Lulu says what if they’re wrong and Luke is really dead.

Nina says every time she wants to talk about Theo, he turns the conversation around to her. She says he doesn’t have to work so hard for her to forget her ex-boyfriend. Theo gives her more compliments and she goes all Blanche DuBois about depending on the kindness of strangers. Nina actually is like Blanche in a lot of ways. She says it’s nice to know there are gentlemen in the world and they kiss. Holy! It would be radical if she somehow got pregnant by him.

Kristina tells Morgan about Sonny seeing her and Parker kiss and that her assumption about his reaction was wrong. Morgan says he’s jealous because she’s doubled her dating playing field. She says she wishes she could think about it like that, but it’s about the individual person. She tells him about the letter from Parker. He asks about Aaron. She says he deserved to know the truth, so she told him, and now she’s alone.

Jocelyn asks if Jax can stay with them and Carly says okay. He leaves with Jocelyn, and Sonny asks Carly what the blip Jax is doing in Port Charles.

Elizabeth tells Franco the request is reasonable. He wonders what happened to innocent until proven guilty. He says because the police can’t do their job, they want to pin the murders on him, and tells Jordan to come back with a warrant. She says they have cause to hold him for 24-hours.

Theo and Nina get busy. While I have nothing against a single woman doing what she wants, I wonder if it’s wise to hook up with a stranger you met in the hall of a hotel. A little reckless of Nina.

Laura thanks Jason. She says he wouldn’t have been there in the first place if it hadn’t been for Nicholas. She hopes that for her and Spencer’s sakes, he can remember that Nicholas was a good man for most of his life. They hear another boat. Dante thinks it’s the naval patrol and they all start yelling. Laura ponders the bracelet.

Carly tells Sonny about her discussion with Jax. She’s concerned about what he said, that secrets never stay that way. Sonny says the last thing he wants to do is agree with Jax, but if Jocelyn finds out she didn’t call off the search, it could be a problem. Carly says hell must have frozen over for Sonny and Jax to be on the same page, and Sonny wonders what Jax is really up to.

Jax tells Jocelyn blah-blah-blah father stuff. She goes to the washroom and he picks up his phone. He says he’s calling with an update.

Franco asks what kind of public apology he can expect when this is over. He tells Elziabeth that this is all nonsense. He leaves with Jordan and Elizabeth follows.

Kristina wonders how Morgan would feel if Kiki had slept with a woman who she was possibly in love with. He says it wouldn’t matter whether it was a man or a woman, he doesn’t want to share her and that’s probably how Aaron felt. He asks if she’s in love with Parker. She says it seems fast, but she’d never felt the way she did when they spent the night together. She says she really liked Aaron, but now she has neither one of them. Morgan says but she still has her big, dysfunctional family.

Carly says she and Jax have always gotten along. Sonny says he’s suspicious of Jax and wonders what’s behind his stupid smile.

Jax tells whoever is on the phone that he’s gotten info from Carly and Sonny is a problem.

The rescue in Greece happens, but Laura is bummed. She feels like she’s leaving Nicholas and Luke behind. She starts to cry and Lulu says they have to be there for Spencer.

Theo sees two calls from Spencer on Nicholas’s phone. I see the wheels turning in his head How much you want to bet he’s headed to camp?

Tomorrow, Nathan tells Valerie it’s an order, Griff wonders if Franco could be the murderer, and Franco asks Scotty if he believes in his innocence.

The Haves and the Have Nots

DA Jennifer asks Hannah to get Kathryn. Hannah wants more information first. Jennifer says she gets Hannah doesn’t want to lose her job, but Hannah tells her she doesn’t work there anymore. Jennifer balks at Hannah being friends with the woman who covered up the hit and run of her son. She says she needs to talk to Kathryn about Wyatt. Hannah says Kathryn doesn’t need to hear anything else about that, but agrees to get her. Jennifer asks why there was an ambulance at the Cryer house and Hannah says there was an accident, but if she wants any more information, she’ll have to ask the Cryers.

Hannah tells Kathryn someone wants to talk to her. Kathryn asks who, but Hannah says she needs to see for herself. Hannah finally tells her it’s the DA and Kathryn goes flying down the stairs.

Kathryn asks if Jennifer has lost the little brain she has. She says Jennifer is the reason her son is dead and asks the officer for his gun so he can shoot her. The cop is like, um, you can’t threaten an officer of the court like that and Jennifer says she needs to listen. Kathryn says unless Jennifer is going to tell her that her son is alive, she has nothing to say. Jennifer says he is. Psyche! She says he was unconscious for 32 hours and his breathing was so shallow and his pulse so faint, the officer who found him though he was dead. Kathryn asks what kind of idiots work for her and I concur. Jennifer says Wyatt is in a medically induced coma.

Kathryn tells Jennifer to stick everything where the sun don’t shine. She says she won’t see him that way. She tells Jennifer to return him the way she found him before she pumped 12 million into his veins and up his nose. She says until then, Jennifer is her enemy. Jennifer tells her to be careful what she says in front of witnesses. Kathryn says get out of my house, bitch, and I applaud.

Jennifer and company leave. Kathryn falls to her knees. Hannah asks if she’s really not going to see Wyatt and Kathryn says she ca’t see him that way. She tells Hannah about her last image of Amanda and says she does’t want her last image of Wyatt with all kinds of tubes in him. Hannah understands and asks if Kathryn minds if she goes. Kathryn was hoping she’d say that.

It’s no secret that Tyler Perry is a Christian. Many fundamentalists call him a “Hollywood Christian,” (in other words, a sell out) but I think he’s doin’ it right. Hannah is a great character. She tries to be a good Christian, but she’s flawed as we all are. In the long run though, she does what’s right. She swore she’d have nothing to do with Kathryn, yet she’s the best friend Kathryn’s got.

Candace calls Erica. Erica asks for a picture of Oscar and Candace sends it. Erica tells Candace she’s looking right at him. She’s at a bar in town, waiting for a client named Grayson. Candace tells Erica to keep Oscar there. She says she’ll do the best she can.

Erica approaches the bar. She asks the bartender for a Cosmo and makes small talk with Oscar. She asks if he’d like to go out some time, but Oscar says no. He’s like, I’m with someone, and Erica apologizes, slipping him her number. She goes back to her table. Grayson comes in and sits with her.

Candace calls Erica. Erica talks cryptically and Candace realizes Oscar is leaving. Erica makes something up about her car and excuses herself from the table. She sees Oscar outside. She bribes a valet to put a phone under Oscar’s car seat. She tells Candace she thinks she has a plan and will call her later.

When Candace gets home, there’s a police car out front, which should be no surprise at this point. She finds Jeffrey in the backyard with Justin. She asks what they’re doing. Jeffrey says he told Justin what he did. She tells them to come inside. Jeffrey says he’s going to jail. She tells Justin to leave and he says he can’t. She asks Jeffrey why. He says Justin knows and Candace asks what exactly. Jeffrey says that he stabbed his mother. Justin says there’s no warrant out and Candace asks why they’re out there again. Justin says the phone reception is better. Candace suggests Jeffrey should have stayed at his hotel.

Candace goes inside and calls Benny. He says he couldn’t find out anything and she says they might have a problem since Jeffrey is there with a cop. She says his mother knows about the package and Benny tells her to leave now. She says she’ll call him back and hangs up. Candace tells Jeffrey that she called a contact at the hospital and his mother wasn’t brought in. She asks to talk to Jeffrey inside.

Candace asks Jeffrey why he brought Justin there and if he told Justin about Quincy. Jeffrey says no and he didn’t know what he was thinking. He says Candace is the one who said he should get to know Justin. She says he was supposed to get Justin’s weaknesses, not give out his own. Jeffrey is befuddled and Candace tells him to get Justin’s ass out of there now.

Justin comes in and tells Jeffrey that Veronica isn’t dead. He asks where she is, and Justin says an ambulance. Jeffrey says she’s going to be coming for him. Justin asks what that means and Candace says he can go now. Jeffrey wants him there and says Justin is his friend. Justin says don’t mistake him doing his job for friendship and leaves. He’s a confusing dude.

Candace tells Jeffrey that if Veronica was going to call the cops, she would have already. Jeffrey asks why she wouldn’t, and Candace says the same reason a snake waits to strike – timing. He tells her it’s too much.

Hannah goes to the hospital and finds David with Wyatt. She says Katherine isn’t coming because she can’t handle it and she’s there to find out what’s going on. David says the test results are coming and asks how she is. Hannah asks how his wife is and suggests he check on that. The doctor comes in and says that Wyatt is doing well, considering. Hannah asks why he’s so out of it and the doctor says they put him in a medically induced coma because he was having seizures. She asks about brain damage and the doctor says there isn’t any, but they need to watch the brain activity. The next 48 hours is crucial.

David tells Hannah to let Kathryn know what’s going on and she tells him to let Jim know. She calls Kathryn.

Veronica insists she doesn’t have implants. The doctor says okay then, her breast has ruptured. Veronica goes on about malpractice and how she doesn’t want a scar. David walks in and asks what happened. Veronica tells the doctor to leave. He says they’re in the middle of stitching and when the anesthesia wears off, she’s going to be in pain. She tells him to get out.

David asks what happened. Veronica says Jeffrey happened; he stabbed her. He says Bobby Safeman and she’s like what? He talks about Jeffrey being bullied and how the teachers told them, but Jeffrey never said anything and let it fester. He says one day Bobby said one thing too many and Jeffrey beat him into a coma. He says she defended them against the lawsuit that his parents filed and she should be grateful that Jeffrey didn’t have a baseball bat. He suggests she admit she has implants so that her sorry life can be saved.

Benny shows up at Candace’s. Jeffrey is resting and Benny wants to talk to him. Erica arrives next. She tells Candace they need to take a ride right now. Candace tells Benny good-by and he leaves. Candace leaves with Erica.

Erica tells Candace about slipping the phone in Oscar’s car. They take off. Benny comes back as soon as they’re gone. He tells Jeffrey to open the door. Jeffrey lets Benny in, telling him Candace isn’t there. Benny says he wants to talk to Jeffrey. Jeffrey says he has nothing to tell him. Benny says he has something to tell Jeffrey’s daddy. Jeffrey says David already knows about him and Veronica. Benny says Jeffrey needs to tell his daddy to leave him and his phones alone, and that there’s nothing going on between him and Veronica, or he’ll tell David Jeffrey’s secret. Jeffrey says he’ll tell David. But doesn’t David know he’s gay?

The phone rings. It’s David. That’s pretty convenient. David tells Jeffrey he just saw Veronica in the hospital and they need to talk. He says Veronica is fine, but they need to talk about Jeffrey’s rage. He asks why Jeffrey did it and Jeffrey says it just happened. David asks what Veronica has on him and says he’ll help him. Benny keeps bugging Jeffrey in the background. Jeffrey tells David that if he doesn’t stop interfering in Benny’s business, Benny will tell him Jeffrey is gay. Ha-ha! David tells Jeffrey to put Benny on the phone and says he’ll meet Benny at the tow yard in three hours. Back to Jeffery – he asks if Jeffrey is okay and says he’ll do whatever he needs to do to protect him. Jeffrey asks if Veronica killed Maggie. David says nothing and Jeffrey asks if he saw Wyatt. He says he’s about to call Jim with the good news that Wyatt is going to be fine and explains what happened. This perks Jeffrey up some.

Candace and Erica find Oscar’s car. Candace says it’s Jim’s house and they wonder why Oscar would be there. Mitch suddenly pops up and asks what Candace is doing there. Mitch tells her about David messing with Benny’s phones and then asks if she knows what happened to War. He tells her about War getting popped for drugs. Candace asks him to please tell her that he didn’t do it for her because War will kill her.

War gets put into a cell next to Jim because no one ever leaves a holding cell in this town. War says they meet again.

Next time, Benny tells David to leave him alone, Jim tells War that he’s stupid, and Veronica threatens Jeffrey.

The Shahs of Sunset – Reunion Part One

Andy makes his usual attempt at greeting everyone in Persian. All of the Shahs look fabulous and I’m loving Asa’s bling. The table is piled high with amazing snacks and we flash back to all the wonderful eating moments throughout the season.

We start with Shervin and flash back to his first disastrous date with Annalise. Surprisingly, she’s still in the picture. She lives in Australia, so it’s a bit of a long distance thing. Shervin is teased about his fear of bats. We get a little of Shervin’s history – he was born in Iran, but grew up in Alabama.

GG talks about her friendship with Shervin and how loyalty is everything to her. Reza interjects that GG is a horrible person and before we know it, we’re on to GG saying she has a sex tape of him. She denies saying she actually had it, but that’s not what the video says. Already, the insults and arguments start.

Andy cuts that short and moves on to Reza and Adam’s wedding. Everyone marvels at how views have changed, since Reza is Persian, gay and got married on national TV. They talk about the surprise wedding. Reza says he had to make a grand gesture to make up for leaving Adam at the altar in the previous season. He says his mother is anxious for grandchildren and is telling him to buy some on the internet.

They discuss MJ involving herself in Reza’s wedding plans. Mike says he thinks she was jealous that he discussed it with Asa first. Andy asks Reza how he felt about MJ talking to Adam about standing up for himself behind Reza’s back. Reza says MJ means well, but tends to stick her nose where it doesn’t belong. Somehow this goes to a story about a buffet where MJ was late, where MJ makes a point about feeling left out. Asa says a lot of MJ’s decisions are based on jealousy and she’s not a loyal friend. She says she’s always rooting for MJ’s happiness, but MJ isn’t happy for Asa’s success.

MJ talks about Vida offending Asa and Asa taking it out on her, saying MJ was behind it. MJ can’t understand how Asa could think MJ could put ideas in Vida’s head. Asa calls her jealous again. MJ says Asa is thin-skinned and they’ll never be friends again. She adds an FU to emphasize her irritation.

Reza says he hates where the two of them are at, but he understands and feels for the both of them. Andy asks Mike if he thinks the friendship can be repaired. He says they’ve insulted each other in every possible way and always bounce back.

Andy goes over the various trips the Shahs took this season. We revisit Reza’s practical joke of spraying “liquid ass” in the RV. MJ says they can never go through the airport without going through an extra search line. We flash back to the GGvention during the camping trip. Mike says he hates camping and hopes she appreciates that they did it for her. Andy says GG was trashed for most of the trip and she says her drinking was out of hand, but she’s doing better now. MJ says no one got a thank you, and GG says she was in a bad place. Mike agrees that she’s gotten better.

Reza says GG is mentally unstable and he’s afraid of her and worried for her.

To lighten the mood, Andy moves on to Mike’s marriage or lack thereof. Mike says he misses Jessica very much, but he was irresponsible. They’re not legally divorced yet, as Mike says it takes a while in California. He goes down Memory Lane about how he and Jessica met and he knew she was the one. We flash back to various scenes in their relationship, including the wedding. I’m sure Mike must feel just peachy right now.

Commercial break with important information: The reunion concludes Wednesday, August 3, at 10 pm. More good news – Below Deck with the original cast, including Chef Ben, is coming back.

Mike says he screwed up and if he had a chance to do it over, he wouldn’t make the same mistakes. Now we flash back to the crappy stuff. Andy asks why Mike hid Jessica’s leaving from the group. He says some things you don’t share. Andy asks if he thought he could repair things and he says he did. The topic of Jessica having been seen with new guys comes up. Mike says the break-up wasn’t as hard as seeing her move on. We see tweets between MJ and Jessica. MJ says Jessica thought Mike was a gravy train. Mike disagrees. Andy reads some tweets between Jessica and Reza. He tends to agree that Jessica is a gold digger. He says the whole time Mike was trying to get her back, another guy was in the picture. Mike thinks she was just getting back at him. He says he gets where his friends are coming from, but he’ll always protect her.

Mike has been dating, but he’s not ready for anything serious. His friends and family have been his saving grace. He says it took months and a lot of Justin Bieber to get past it. He definitely wants to get married again and have a family.

We move to MJ. She talks about meeting Tommy for the first time. Andy asks Reza about his take on the relationship. He says MJ needs a gritty guy from Queens like Tommy. Andy asks if Vida has come around yet and MJ says no.

Vida and Tommy join the group. This ought to be good. We flash back to Vida’s disapproval of the relationship. Andy is hoping she’s changed her mind by now and I laugh my head off. Tommy could save Vida and her dog from a burning building and she won’t change her mind. She says the more she gets to know Tommy, the more convinced she is that he’s wrong for MJ. Tommy says it doesn’t matter, MJ’s is the only opinion that counts. Vida brings up the nakey pictures that Asa took of Tommy and MJ, like they were Tommy’s idea. She says she’d have to see a big change for her to bless their union.

Andy asks if she’s excited to be a grandma and Vida tells him not to encourage them. MJ says she’s going to be an amazing grandmother. MJ says that her number one reason for wanting a baby is to keep her line going since her father is so cool. They talk about MJ’s father, who basically raised her because of Vida’s work schedule, which I didn’t know. MJ says she was the son her father never had and I totally relate. I always say that about my father. MJ gets emotional. Mike says Tommy might not be the perfect match in Vida’s eyes, but they’ll make it work.

Reza says he’ll always be indebted to MJ’s mom and dad, because he came out to them before his own parents. Andy points out the obvious, how Reza got love and acceptance from MJ’s parents, while MJ longs for it from Vida.

We see clips of Vida on Watch What Happens Live, making comments about each of the Shahs. Mike says her perception of people is way off base. Vida tells Mike he’s more beautiful than Jessica, but Mike doesn’t like her talking that way. Asa says she respects Vida, but she’s hypercritical.

Andy asks Vida if MJ had fed her ideas as to what to say on the show and Vida says no. Asa tries some kumbaya talk, but MJ isn’t having any, saying the friendship is over after what Asa said. Mike tells her not to say things she’ll regret, and MJ says she won’t regret it.

Next time, the topic of adoption comes up, Mike is accused of not respecting women, GG goes off like a rocket, making Reza run off the stage, crying about his credibility. My question is this – assuming there’s no truth to there being a sex tape, why would GG saying there was one ruin anybody’s credibility? It’s not like she’s known for truth telling.

May10

May 9, 2016 — GH, the Charm of the South & the Wives of Dallas

Posted on by
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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Jason comes to and asks if anyone is hurt. He sees the police van driver is out cold, but his phone is broken. He checks for a pulse, but the driver is dead. He keeps yelling if there’s anybody there. He sees Dante unconscious and pinned under the van. All of a sudden Robin is there and says Jason has to save him. I had to think for a second, wondering if she had died, but she only moved to Berkeley (I’m sitting on myself not to make a joke here), so I guess Jason is imagining this.

Jason asks Robin what she’s doing there and she says she’s not really there. He says he must be hallucinating, but she says she’s there to tell him what he already knows.

Danny is off visiting the Quartermaine’s new puppy, Annabelle II. Sam tells Michael that Monica said they were only going to be ten minutes, but it’s been a while. She wants Danny to enjoy himself though.

Jason asks if he’s unconscious and Robin tells him don’t be stupid. Not really, but close. He says the driver is dead and the motorcycle isn’t operational. Even if it was, since he’s talking to someone who’s not there, he says it’s highly doubtful he can drive. He asks Robin what to do and she says she could never tell him what to do, but he should do what he thinks is right. So what good is she?

He’s afraid to move Dante, but if he doesn’t, the flipped van could come down on him. Robin asks what he would want were he in Dante’s position. Jason says he’d want to get out of there. He adds he has a family now and doesn’t want to risk getting hurt himself. Robin tells him that sometimes it’s okay to take a risk. He examines Dante and decides he needs to get him out.

Jason tries to wake Dante, but nothing happens. He checks out the logistics of the van. Carly pops into the picture. She says a few more inches, and he wouldn’t be able to get Dante out at all and to be grateful for what he has. He says she must be there to tell him about all the near misses he’s had.

Sam and Michael talk about Jason. Michael says he seemed the way he used to be, but they’re not connecting. Sam says she understands. She tried telling Jason stories about the past, but he doesn’t connect with them.

Carly tells Jason he has to move the van without crushing Dante. He tells Carly that his head is pounding so badly he can’t see straight. She says quitting is a bad habit you can get addicted to. He says she’s never quit anything and she says that’s because she has him. He says he must have hit his head and Carly says if he says so. She adds that’s what she says when she’s lying to herself. (Huh?)

Sam asks Michael why he was talking to Carrrlos. Michael says it doesn’t matter because Jason talked him out of it. She says she realizes the memories she had with Jason are her memories now, but not his.

Jason takes the driver out of the van. Carly wonders what happened and Jason says it looks like a prisoner transport van, but the prisoner is probably running. Jason gets in the van. Carly asks what he’s waiting for and he says he has to check the fuel line first. No good. It’s leaking.

Sam says Jason is alive and well, and she’s being ridiculous. Michael says you can be grateful for what’s happening now and still miss the past things. She says since Helena cursed Sam on her death bed, she’s felt weird. She remembers Helena cursed her parents as well and they’ve had nothing but misery lately.

Jason wonders where the jack is. Helena appears and says it would be unwise to have one in a prisoner transport van. Helena says he doesn’t remember anything and never will, and he’ll never remember what happened to Jake on Cassadine Island. She says lifting the van is outside of his skill set. She says he’s on a deserted road with nothing to improvise with. Guess again, Helena. Jason grabs a street sign and he says he can lift the van with that. Helena says or cause Dante to get crushed. She tells him he can’t succeed, but conditioning won’t allow him to give up.

Sam goes through the stuff that’s happened since Helena died — like it’s any different from any other time on GH. They talk about Julian. She says she loves her father, but knows the score, and Alexis seems to be going along with it. Michael says he thinks Alexis is about to snap.

Helena tells Jason his head hurts because he’s trying to remember. She says she oversaw his conditioning and knows him better than he knows himself. She tells him to ride away and forget Port Charles and go back to his original mission. Sam is there and says he can beat Helena; she doesn’t control him anymore.

Helena says bravo, he’s conjured up a last memory of Sam before he loses the memories forever. She says he’s telling himself it can’t get worse, but it can and it will.

Michael asks Sam if she thinks she’s going to lose Jason. She says no, and he’s not interested in working for Sonny anymore. She says the only reason Julian stood a chance is because of her, Alexis and Danny. Michael says his father will avoid collateral damage, but he can’t let this go on forever. Sam says maybe Carrrlos will flip on Julian.

Helena says that Jason will sleep and when he wakes up, his memory will be wiped clean. He promises that he’ll fight to the last second and she tells him to suit himself. He tells Sam he wants to spend the time he has left with her.

Sam believes that Julian is a better man with Alexis and Michael says Jason is a better man with Sam.

Sam tells Jason he broke Helena’s conditioning before and he can do it again. He tells Sam he loves her, and says how strong and fearless she is. He says he’s glad their son has her for a mother. He says he can’t believe he’s going to lose his memories of her.

Michael says even when Jason was with Elizabeth, it was like he was fighting himself because he didn’t belong there. Sam wonders if it’s that simple, that two people just belong together. Michael says not so simple, some people never find that person, but she and Jason did.

Jason goes back to Dante. The bleeding is getting worse and Sam tells him to move the van. He uses the street sign as a lever and passes out. Now the fuel line is leaking like crazy. What the blip happened to Nathan? If the driver is dead and Dante is half-dead, how did Nathan and Carrrlos both get out and get away so quickly? For a moment, I actually got this show mixed up with Once Upon A Time, since I watch way too much TV.

Sonny appears, telling Jason to help his son. Jason goes to the bike. He says he’s leaving and Sonny asks if it’s because Helena told him to. Jason says Helena doesn’t control him, he makes his own choices. Sonny says Jason is there because he’s fighting Helena and he’s there to help Jason take his life back. Jason says his life was never his own, it was Helena’s, Elizabeth’s, Sam’s, and mostly Sonny’s. Sonny asks if he’s just a puppet. Jason says they were friends.

Danny comes back. He says don’t tell Aunt Tracy that Annabelle II peed in her closet. Michael suggests they do their exploring outside until the puppy is housebroken. Michael leaves to run puppy interference. Sam asks where his daddy is.

Jason remembers how he and Sonny met. He says Sonny never talked down to him, always treated him with respect, and never pressured him. He says Sonny taught him that everything has consequences and you’re responsible for your own life. If you don’t own it, you become a victim of your own life. He talks about how Sonny was never a victim even in his darkest time. Jason makes another try at moving the van.

Danny asks why daddy doesn’t live with them. Sam says they’re not there yet, but they’re getting there. She says just be grateful daddy is with them and nothing will take him away again.

Jason finally gets the van to move a little, but sparks start happening from undeneath. I can’t even figure out how Dante ended up there. Was the driver the only one wearing a seat belt? And how come he died? This isn’t a very good promotion for wearing them.

Sam tucks Danny in. He asks her to sing for him and she says he’s the only person in the world who likes hearing her sing. Okay, let’s have it. Sam sings a lullaby and it’s not that bad.

As she sings, Jason pulls Dante away from the van and it explodes.

This was a really good episode. It took place in only two settings and was very nicely edited. It was great to see Helena and Robin again too. I’m telling you, Helena will never die.

Tomorrow, Nathan calls for help, Carrrlos is on the run, and Anna asks Griff if he was shot.

Southern Charm

Ew! Landon! I spent all week forgetting about her.

Craig and Naomie are snug in their new home. Craig says he doesn’t want the one thing he messes up to be Naomie. He’s gotten her a ring, so she can have a piece of jewelry that “connects” them. He pretends he wants her to help him pick out a watch and brings out a watch jewelry box with the ring in the middle. Cute. He’s expecting to be made head of the bourbon division by JD. He thinks if you work hard, everything else will fall into place. Well, sometimes.

Cameran is picking Shep up for their first listing appointment. He’s just making breakfast at one o’clock and even though his birthday party the night before was a dry night, she’s worried he went out drinking afterward. Please tell me why she picked the day after his birthday to make this appointment?

Shep asks Cameran if Kathryn called her and he practically has to drag the information out of her. He says it’s easy to take the high road, but Cameran says her life is busy enough without adding Kathryn to it.

Kathryn feels discouraged because everyone is rebuffing her, and she thinks she should reconsider who she’s reaching out to. She calls Elizabeth who I’m not sure is the next best choice. She says they were close at one time and when she broke up with Thomas (bleh), she distanced herself because Elizabeth’s husband, JD, is Thomas’s best friend. She tells Elizabeth that she misses talking to her and wants to get together.

Cameran isn’t sure that Shep understands that being her “apprentice” is actual work. They look at the house, a “quintessential historical Southern mansion.” It’s absolutely beautiful. Shep thinks real estate isn’t brain surgery and is more personality driven, which he has down. I think he’s right. They discuss the house while sitting on the elliptical porch. Cameran gets annoyed because Shep is getting too involved. If it wasn’t for the heat, I’d probably love Charleston. At least the architecture.

Landon’s dad calls her. She says that she’s taking his advice and concentrating on one idea. We’ll see if this lasts more than five minutes. She has a friend in New York who’s an Internet entrepreneur and he’s agreed to meet with her.

JD asks Craig for a hotel update. He says the demolition work is completed. In his interview, Craig says work on the hotel isn’t exactly stimulating. JD says he wants to do a bourbon tasting and needs Craig to come up with a list of invitees and send out emails. He says he’s also bringing Dani in, since she has 15 years experience in the liquor business. Craig says he wants their bourbon to be something that non-bourbon drinkers will drink but bourbon drinkers will respect. JD says he doesn’t need him to invent the wheel (isn’t that reinvent?), just put air in the tires.

Kathryn visits Elizabeth. Elizabeth tells the kids that Kathryn is pregnant and one them asks Kathryn how she got a baby in there. Elizabeth says they’ll talk about that later. Ha-ha! Elizabeth asks Kathryn if something is going on she’s not aware of, since Kathryn hasn’t answered any of her calls or texts for months. She also brings up the polo match debacle. Kathryn says she was going through a phase where she cut everyone out, but she didn’t know who she could be safe around. Elizabeth says as Kensie’s godmother, she would never turn her back on Kathryn, and that’s a promise. Touching moment. Kathryn apologizes and starts to cry. Elizabeth says she wants their kids to grow up together.

Commercial break with important information, Odd Mom Out starts Monday, June 20 @ 10 pm. Since I don’t have kids (not two-legged ones anyway), I didn’t think I’d relate to this show, but it’s hysterically funny and very New York-ish. I was pleasantly surprised.

Thomas (bleh) shows Shep around his new house. Shep says Thomas is interesting because you never know what you’re going to get, but when he’s in a good mood, he’s a barrel of laughs. I have yet to see this. Shep asks what’s been up since the Flamingo Party.

Thomas tells him about talking to Kathryn and getting a barrage of anger about Shep’s birthday party. Shep says Landon claims she invited Kathryn, but he doesn’t really know. Thomas wants Kathryn to be calm for the baby’s sake, but Shep thinks he’s being melodramatic.

Landon goes to the meeting with Lockhart in the city. She says he’s head of a media conglomerate and they cover a lot of things except for travel. It’s too bad she doesn’t focus on that when she pitches her idea. He wants the idea in a couple of sentences, however, she can’t even give him two complete sentences. He says it sounds like stuff that’s already out there. He asks what kind of a voice she wants it to have and tells her to create a prototype that he could give her feedback about. In her interview she says that she’s always seen herself as very successful, and thinks her enthusiasm alone will propel her ahead, but she doesn’t even know what a prototype is. Did this girl graduate high school?

Cameran, Whitney and Shep meet for drinks. Shep just got a text from Craig, who’s concerned that they won’t show for the bourbon tasting. Shep invites them on an Appalachian Mountain excursion. His parents have a house there. Cameran asks what they would do, but she and Whitney reject anything outdoorsy. Shep wants to invite Kathryn, but Cameran thinks it’s asking for trouble. She says if Landon is going to be there, there’s going to be tension. Whitney says he wishes Kathryn the best, but doesn’t want to be around her. Whitney mentions that Shep said he wants to be nice to Kathryn because he doesn’t want any grief and Shep adds that he also slept with her. So did Whitney, although he just laughs.

JD and Craig check out the bourbon place. JD says Gentry bourbon is in his family’s blood. They’re shown mock-ups of bottles and the barrels. Craig is excited about being on the ground floor of what he thinks is going to be a successful company. He’s impressed with the bourbon warehouse or whatever you call it. Distillery? JD is kind of annoyed at all the questions Craig is asksing.

Everyone shows up for bourbon tasting. Craig goes on about running a bourbon company and Shep thinks he’s getting ahead of himself and that the “new” Craig is alarmingly strange. JD tells Elizabeth that Craig already wants to run everything which is typical.

The tasting commences. They have four different sample batches and are looking for input. The woman telling them about the bourbon tells them not to swill it down, but sip at it and actually taste it. JD puts Dani in charge, which is kind of mean to Craig. Dani instructs them to smell it first. Whitney says the first one has the bouquet of napalm.

Craig asks Dani what the difference between bourbons is and Whitney thinks that’s probably one of the basics he should know. Dani acts like a snotrag, and like she can’t be bothered to teach him anything. Craig steps away and Shep says he’s proud of him. Craig says he thought he was more a part of it than he is and feels slighted. Shep tells him to find a way he can contribute and go with it.

JD asks Dani to be his VP, and she says she just got out of the business. For a reason, whatever that means. JD says someone is going to do it and it’s not going to be Craig. In his interview, JD says that if Craig thinks he’s going to be running the bourbon division, they have an issue.

Craig talks to Dani who makes stupid faces at him. JD tells her to let him speak to Craig alone. JD tells Craig he’s just getting into the business himself and it’s his family’s name on the bottle. He doesn’t feel Craig has enough knowledge to lead a bourbon division and asks if he led anyone to believe that.

Pictures are taken, everyone departs and everything is packed up. JD tells Craig not to let things get to him. Craig tells Naomie that JD told him he’s not ready yet to be a part of the bourbon division. She says she’s about to cry and feels confused. Geez, just a bit of an overreaction. He says they’ll talk later.

This season, more polo, a disco night, a bromance, a baby, Craig finds out more about Kathryn and Whitney, another dinner party from hell, and Landon and Kathryn have it out.

The Real Housewives of Dallas

BTW, when Leeanne was on Watch What Happens Live, Andy Cohen did ask her about all that blush she has going on, and she had no answer, but had obviously toned it down since filming.

We go back to Leeanne throwing her drink and calling Brandi trash. She stomps off and Stephanie says she’s crazy.

Tiffany follows her, as well as the camera crew. Tiffany calls her to come back and Leeanne gives her the finger. She tells Tiffany she’s done and Tiffany tells her not to talk to her like that. Leeanne insists Tiffany coordinated the brawl that she had all on her own. Tiffany shoves her and says she has her back and she always takes up for her. She says she’s constantly telling people they just don’t know Leeanne and that she has a big heart.

Meanwhile, inside Stephanie is crying and worried about her charities and that Leeanne will trash her husband’s business. I honestly think that Stephanie believes Leeanne has more power than she does. Brandi tells her Leeanne is just pissed that someone called her out. Cary gives an analogy of Stephanie being a wounded baby gazelle that Leeanne pounced on.

Leeanne goes apesh*t on the camera and nearly gets run over by a trolly car that she smacks. Then she takes her shoes off and walks into traffic. Tiffany says she’s known Leeanne for 25 years and Leeanne was the reason she came back to Dallas, but she can’t continue to live her life like this.

She goes back in and tells Marie about what happened outside. Cary says the best thing to do is take the high road and that was the low road. She compares Leeanne to her two-year-old and says maybe she needs a time out. Tiffany gives a blanket apology to everyone for starting the mess.

It’s Stephanie’s anniversary and her husband, Travis, is taking her out for a surprise. She talks about how she cried all night and tells him about how she never felt attacked like that. If I had been her, I would have smacked Leeanne in the face. She feels like she’s let her family down, but Travis just laughs and says not to let Leeanne get to her.

Leeanne is loving on her dogs, but even Hitler did that. Mark asks how she’s doing and if she called Tiffany. Leeanne says neither one of them are ready to talk yet. He says that when they fight, Leeanne avoids things, but Leeanne says they both have to process what happened.

Tiffany says she’s carrying around her phone and doesn’t know whether to call or not. Aaron tells her to give it a few days and let the dust settle, but Tiffany says they have a clothing drive coming up.

Leeanne says Tiffany should have intervened between her and Brandi. She says she has huge insecurities from her childhood. Please. Like we all don’t.

Brandi’s grandfather is coming for a visit. She says she couldn’t care less about Leeanne. She’s never met him because her mother had to choose sides in her parents’ divorce. Her mother is pretty excited as well.

Leeanne goes to the clothing drive, although she’d rather be home in bed nursing her wounds. She knows if Tiffany shows up, they’ll be respectful because it’s a Southern thing. (Landon didn’t get the memo.) Leeanne acts overly attentive to the other people. Tiffany arrives and is surprised that Leeanne is doesn’t talk to her at all. Cary arrives next with some clothing. She wants to just drop and go. Leeanne says she was hurt and she doesn’t do hurt because of being abandoned in her childhood. How old is this chick? There comes a time when you have to stop using your childhood as an excuse to be an a-hole. Get some therapy, kay?

Travis and Stephanie go out in the gold Rolls Royce that they rode in at their wedding. When it came up for sale, Travis bought it. I’m liking Travis more each time I see him.

Tiffany says when she moved to LA, she and Leeanne didn’t speak for two years because Leeanne felt abandoned. Holy. That is too ridiculous for words. Tiffany calls her and leaves a message. If I was in her position, I’d join the ranks of those who abandoned Leeanne. Seriously, she is way too old for this kind of behavior.

Travis drives to an upscale jewelry store and tells her to pick something out. She tries on a diamond bracelet. Stephanie says Travis spoils her and will buy her anything to make her happy. Go, Travis! She picks a diamond cuff out and Stephanie says she’s forgotten all about Leeanne. Travis swears she had the instinct to pick out the most expensive one. The bracelet is $55K, and they save the $2.5 million ring she tries on for another time. I wonder if they go out to dinner afterward or just go home and get busy.

Cary tells Mark about how Leeanne and Tiffany didn’t talk to one another at the clothing drive. Mark can’t wait to get away for vacation. Tiffany says they want to eventually get a house in Switzerland that they can spend summers at.

Brandi’s grandfather, John, arrives with his wife, Carol. Brandi introduces the kids and one tries to escape. They sit down for lunch and Brandi says the blessing. She gets all emotional.

To make up for the champagne Cary got on her dress when Leeanne threw the glass, Mark gets her a fabulous Roberto Cavalli dress. She says she’ll stand by Leeanne at all the parties now.

Brandi and John sit on the patio. She says she had a misconception of him growing up and she’s sorry for that. He says that’s all behind them. There are bobcats milling about and we hear them.

Cary gives Mark some Botox so he doesn’t look so mad at her when he’s mad at her. Yikes! So this is what it’s like to be super rich. Summers in Switzerland and Botox in your fridge.

Brandi comes over to Stephanie’s place. Stephanie tells her about the bracelet. Brandi feels like Bryan missed out in the romantic department. Stephanie asks how the visit with her grandfather is going. Brandi says Bryan is flying in between whatever it is he does so they can meet. Brandi’s grandfather was a pro football player back in the day and she thinks they’d get along really well.

Tiffany is meeting with Leeanne. Aaron asks what she’s going to say, but she doesn’t have a plan other than an apology for screaming at her. Aaron wonders why everyone can’t just get along, because he’s a guy, and tells her it will be fine.

Leeanne apologizes before she even sits down. She says she shouldn’t have questioned Tiffany having her back and Tiffany apologizes for yelling. To her credit, Leeanne says she deserved it. She says she got angry like that because she was going to start crying. In her interview, Leeanne says for a long time, she and Tiffany were all they had. I still think she needs therapy.

The entire family has come to Brandi’s for a barbecue. Stephanie arrives with her kids saying Travis will be there shortly. Brandi says growing up, they didn’t have family parties. Stephanie calls Travis who is having a drink with Bryan and says they’ll be there in five minutes. Brandi is a little pissed because she thinks Travis should have made the barbecue a priority.

Bryan and Travis arrive. Brandi is annoyed because she planned the party around his business trips and he’s late and drunk. He’s also acting like he can’t be bothered. Brandi says he puts up a wall a lot of the time and it’s disappointing. He goes to push one of the kids on the swing. Stepahanie says it was abig moment in Brandi’s life and Bryan ignored it

Next time, Travis hires a decorator, Mark takes photos of Cary, Leeanne confronts Marie, and Brandi confronts Bryan (who, no surprise, acts like a d-bag)

Jan11

January 10, 2016 — Atlanta & Some New Wives

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

Note:  We have new Wives coming onboard the franchise. The Real Housewives of Potomac premieres January 17. I hate to say it, and maybe I’ll change my mind, but from the previews, it looks like Andy Cohen might be slumming here. Perhaps they were just showing the “choice” bits, but these ladies didn’t look even remotely classy. We’re also supposed to get The Real Housewives of Dallas, but there’s no air date yet, nor has there been a preview.

Also, the new (and last…sniff…) season of Mob Wives premieres January 13 on VH1.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Every time I hear Phaedra say that God is impressed with her, I just shake my head. Not too presumptuous.

Kandi and Mama Joyce are checking out nursery colors and furniture. Kandi says the situation with her mother and the others around her has changed for the better. I hope so, because at one point, Mama Joyce sure looked like she was losing it.

Mama Joyce suggests a crib that the baby can grow into. Kandi says she thinks Mama Joyce sees her previous mistakes and wants to have a better relationship with the new baby. The saleswoman gives Kandi a catalog to check out cribs. Kandi talks about her conversation with Phaedra and how she thought things were cool, but then Phaedra turned around and complained that they weren’t close anymore because Phaedra owes Todd money. Mama Joyce suggests that she talk to Phaedra, but that’s a no as far as Kandi is concerned. She says Mama Joyce doesn’t need to talk to anyone about anything because she can go from 0 to 100 pretty quickly. Yep.

Kenya meets her Aunt Lori and friend Brandon at the Detroit airport. Her mother and father were 15 and 16 when she was born. Her mother wanted to give her up for adoption, but her fraternal grandmother begged to keep her. She was raised by her grandmother and says her mother has ignored her ever since. She wanted to invite her to the family reunion she’s organizing, but has no way to get in touch with her. She says the rest of the family wants her to leave her mother alone, and she can’t even get a phone number from her aunt. Kenya doesn’t want to leave Detroit without at least talking to her.

The airport limo goes by Kenya’s mother’s house, and she gets out.

Since Peter is in romance mode, he’s told Cynthia to pack a lot of sexy stuff and to be ready to go on a trip. Cynthia and her daughter, Noel, discuss relationships. Cynthia says it’s a lot easier when you have a boyfriend and can just tell him to hit the road, but marriage is a whole other animal. She says she and Peter need time to reconnect alone.

Kenya says she’s spent years not speaking to her father and they have a decent relationship now, so she sees no reason why she can’t have one with her mother. Her father tells her that her mother’s father didn’t want any more “illegal” (he means illegitimate) children in the family, and Kenya’s mother ignoring her was the result. He doesn’t want her to go to her mother’s house because he thinks it will be a futile effort.

Kenya goes to the door by herself, knocks, and only hears it lock. After a while she gives up and tells the other family members that she heard her mother say “Don’t answer the door.” In her individual interview, Kenya says she’ll never treat her children that way, no matter who they are. She also says this is her last time trying with her mother.

Kenya’s father and stepmother, Kathy (along with a younger brother?), come to the hotel room. When Kenya ran away from her father’s house as a teenager, there was a lot of friction between her and Kathy. Kenya is thrilled that they’re both here to support her now. She says they can’t relive the past, but they can move forward and make new memories. My hat’s off to her for her maturity.

Porsha is working out with her trainer, DP. Her sister, Lauren, comes by and makes annoying comments. After Porsha is done working out, she has a talk with Lauren. Lauren missed a package that came to the office, but Lauren says she was sick and couldn’t be there and has no help. Lauren says since she’s pregnant, she’s going to work from wherever. Porsha gets stupid, yelling about how Lauren isn’t doing her job. Lauren says that her world has revolved around Porsha for a long time and her own life hasn’t mattered. Then Porsha tells the joke of the century, saying she’s not a selfish person and she’s worked hard to get where she is.

Phaedra, who becomes more ridiculous with every episode, is at the office when Mama Joyce, against Kandi’s advice, pays a visit. The last time Mama Joyce was there, she wanted to choke Phaedra out for introducing Todd to Kandi. In her estimation, two people with big heads shouldn’t procreate. (She said it, not me.) Phaedra asks what’s up, and Mama Joyce wants to know what happened between her and Kandi. Phaedra says they had a misunderstanding, but they’re cool now. Mama Joyce brings up the incident where Phaedra was caught talking about Todd. She says that Kandi is having a high risk pregnancy, and she doesn’t want anything to go wrong and she doesn’t want Kandi to get upset anymore over this. Phaedra says Mama Joyce is in the “pot stirring business,” which is true, but Phaedra is no one to talk. Mama Joyce also asks for help with Kandi’s shower.

Phaedra says she likes an element of surprise in a party. She suggests a theme of “Coming to Atlanta” in the vein of Coming to America. Why is Phaedra dressed like Heidi going to a funeral?

Lauren comes over to Porsha’s apartment. Porsha says she was pretty angry with Lauren, but Phaedra talked her down, explaining that a lot of hormones are probably raging. Yeah, it must be that. It couldn’t possibly be that she’s tired of Porsha being an insensitive idiot. Porsha says they’ve always been close, but Lauren didn’t tell her about the pregnancy right away. Lauren said she was hesitant because she was afraid it would bum Porsha out, considering she’s divorced and childless. She didn’t put it exactly that way, but that’s what she meant. Lauren talks about how Porsha went through all kinds of treatments to get pregnant and then her marriage fell apart. Porsha says things are going well, that she’s not mad and she’s happy for Lauren. Still, she would give all the other good stuff up for a family. I’ll bet not.

Phaedra goes to Todd’s office and they look at the workout video. Phaedra was pregnant in the video, and a lot has happened since then. She says the video doesn’t look like she wants it to, even though the assistant explained that it’s not at full resolution, and she’s not going to release it, but since this is Todd’s only job and he must need the money, she’ll pay him. This woman acts like butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth, but she’s the nastiest one of the bunch. I highly doubt God is impressed. In his individual interview, Todd says Mama Joyce must have made this happen and he’ll probably owe her a percentage. Phaedra and Todd talk babies.

The family reunion is happening. Even though her mother isn’t there, Kenya says she feels blessed. She says if you can survive someone trying to destroy you in the first years of your life, you can survive anything. She says this is her family in the present and future. Some of her mother’s relatives are there, but there are four generations of her father’s side of the family attending. It’s time to eat, and they stand holding hands to bless the food. Kenya’s father says the blessing and thanks the Lord for his family. Kenya thanks everyone for coming, but notices her Aunt Lori has left. She can’t understand why she would travel so far to just stay 10 minutes. Hmm… I wonder if she went to her sister’s house.

It turns out Aunt Lori left because she’s a huge bummer who couldn’t handle Kenya trying to see her mother. What a jerk. The only pleasure I get in this, is knowing she spent money on the plane ticket. Kenya’s father says it’s all good though and they have all the family they need.

Next week, the ladies go to Congress, Todd wants to open a restaurant, Aunt Lori and Kenya get into it, and Nene drags her sorry tail back to Atlanta.

Dec24

December 23, 2015 — It isn’t Christmas Without a Trip to GH & the Year 2000

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Dante and Valerie (ugh!) are hanging out in the town square or whatever passes as one. They have their uniforms on, so I guess they’re supposed to be on duty. Valerie says they haven’t really had any one on one time, and wonders where things are going.

At The Haunted Star, Lulu wakes Johnny up. She tells him she wants some answers and he tries to flirt. She wants to know the next step in his plan against Valerie. He says he’s waiting for a call from an associate.

Carly brings Sam back to her and Sonny’s place. Sam tells Sonny what went on at the gala.

Elizabeth runs to Nicholas, who’s lying there half conscious. Hayden freaks, and tries to pummel Jason a little, but it’s like a fly batting at an elephant.

Dante says he doesn’t blame Valerie for feeling confused and things are complicated. She asks him if he’s having second thoughts. When he hesitates, she says she thinks she’s got her answer. He says there is no answer and that just because he’s separated doesn’t mean he still doesn’t have feelings for Lulu and that Rocco comes first. He says he knows they can have something special and they kiss. Not sure where those feelings for Lulu went. Now he’s confusing me. Someone is watching them with binoculars.

Lulu tells Johnny that she hates Valerie, but doesn’t want her dead. He says he doesn’t want a murder rap, so he doesn’t either. She says she also doesn’t want Valerie physically hurt, and Johnny is a little insulted. He tells Lulu that he spoke with Valerie when he messed with her car, and that he’s discovered her vulnerabilities. Johnny tells Lulu to trust him and that when he’s done, Dante won’t want anything to do with Valerie. He gets a text and jets.

Laura comes by The Haunted Star to check on Lulu. She sees Lulu making the bed and says she thinks she knows what’s going on and it’s a big mistake.

Carly gets a call about an ambulance being called to the MetroCourt and leaves to go back.

Jordan shows up at the MetroCourt with a policeman. Hayden tells Jordan that Jason threw Nicholas off the balcony. Elizabeth tries to keep Nicholas from passing out.

Johnny meets up with his associate and looks through the binoculars. He says Lulu deserves more than that. Dante asks Valerie what she’s doing on New Year’s and does she want to come over and watch the bowl games? (My favorite being the Bran Flakes Bowl.) Dante gets a text from the commissioner telling him to go to the hospital. He leaves and Johnny says it’s go time. He “runs into” Valerie who is calling him Greg.

Lulu says Laura is jumping to the wrong conclusion and that she’s cleaning up after a friend who stayed over at the last minute. Laura is like, hmmm, and Lulu says she doesn’t want to talk about it. Laura says that she spent too much of her life running from things that hurt her. She says she knows Lulu is angry at Dante and wants to punish him and make him look like a fool. Lulu says she’s not having revenge sex. Laura says okay, but she can see something is bothering Lulu. She says Lulu has to find a way to accept Dante’s infidelity and has to decide whether she wants him back or not. She says Lulu thinks she’s in control, but her emotions are running the show and could lead to something she regrets.

The ambulance comes and gets Nicholas.

Hayden says everything happened fast and Nicholas didn’t have a chance to defend himself. Jordan asks if Jason has anything to add and he says not without a lawyer. Carly shows up and doesn’t believe what Hayden said. She says that Jason should see a doctor since he has a nasty cut on his hand. Jordan suggests they all go to the hospital and tells the policeman to escort Jason there.

Sam asks if there’s been any change in Sonny’s condition. He says no, but just believe in him. So clap if you believe in mob bosses. Sam tells him about the break up with Patrick and he says Jason came by the gym and told him everything. Sam tells him Nicholas was in on it too. Sam is concerned that if something happens to Nicholas, Jason will get blamed. Well, something did and he is to blame.

Carly comes to the hospital with Jason and says he needs to see a doctor. Jordan says he’s a person of interest and needs to be questioned. Dante comes in and Jordan tells him to handle Jason’s interrogation. She tells him Nicholas might not make it.

Lulu says Laura is reading too much into her cleaning the boat. Laura asks why Lulu won’t tell her who was there then. Dante calls Lulu and tells her about Nicholas.

Nicholas is getting defibrillated. (Wow. That’s actually a word. I thought I was making it up.) Jordan asks Hayden to tell her exactly what happened. Carly asks Elizabeth what happened, but Elizabeth says she doesn’t know and for once isn’t lying. Dante questions Jason.

Johnny says Valerie doesn’t look happy to see him. She wonders if his walk in the park is a coincidence. He says she’s right, he wasn’t just going for a walk and he should tell her why he’s really there.

Jason wants a lawyer, and rightly so. Hayden tries to act like Jason just came out of nowhere and pushed Nicholas off the balcony. Carly still isn’t buying it.

Johnny says he was listening to the kids caroling at the church. He says he gets emotional about Christmases past and he didn’t want to tell her. He says he has something to take care of and she asks if she can help.

Lucas says he was able to stabilized Nicholas and that it’s good Elizabeth was there to keep him from bleeding out. He says they won’t know anything for sure until Nicholas wakes up.

Laura shows up and asks how Nicholas fell. Hayden says he didn’t fall, that Jason pushed him.

Sonny says he learned a long time ago that you can’t force Jason to do anything, that he has to learn it for himself. Sam talks about her conversation with him on the balcony. She says they were able to talk and even agree, and they agreed they don’t know what happens next. Sam says she’s going to live in the moment with no expectations. Sonny says they’ve been through a lot and he’s in her corner.

Sam’s phone rings. It’s Carly. She tells Sam not to say anything to Sonny, but Jason needs her and just get to the hospital.

Laura gets in Jason’s face. Carly says Jason was defending himself and if anything, Nicholas wanted to kill Jason. Jordan asks Dante if Jason said anything and Dante says Jason wants a lawyer. Jordan places Jason under arrest and reads him his rights. Carly says Hayden is a liar and Jordan can’t base a case on what she alone says. Jordan acts like it’s unheard of for anyone to ask for a lawyer and that’s a reason to arrest him. Carly says she’ll call Diane and have her meet Jason at the station.

Laura is freaking a little and tells Hayden to start talking.

Lulu thanks Dante for calling her and they hug. Too bad Valerie can’t see that.

Johnny says he wanted to make a donation to the church, but all he had was a 50 dollar bill. Valerie says she thinks she has change and digs in her purse. Johnny makes an okay sign to his accomplice

Laura tells Hayden to look her in the eye and tell her she told the police the complete truth. Hayden says she did. Lucas comes out and Laura begs to see Nicholas. Lucas says okay, and Laura goes into Nicholas’s room. Dante wants to go in too, but Lulu tells him that Lucas said just family and follows Laura. Hayden tries to wiggle in herself, but Jordan wants to talk to her.

Elizabeth asks to have a moment alone with Jason. He says good for her, saving Nicholas’s life, and asks why she’s there. Elizabeth says she knows Hayden must be lying because she knows him.

Johnny sits on a bench with Valerie while she gives him change. Mystery guy takes candid snaps and I get it now. It’s going to look like she’s hanging out with a fugitive. Bye-bye Dante and her job.

Nicholas seems to be coming around and Laura tells him he’s been given a second chance and there’s a reason for that.

Carly tells Sonny what happened. He asks how Nicholas is and Carly says he’ll live. Sonny says that’s good because Jason won’t be charged with murder, but Nicholas will lie through his teeth. Carly says that’s what she’s afraid of.

Elizabeth tells Jason that she’ll always be there for him and hugs him. Sam sees it through the door window.

Tomorrow, Robin comes home.

Happy Holidays

Since most of the shows are in reruns this week, that’s all she wrote for today. Once again though, I recommend the Then and Now with Andy Cohen retrospectives. Tonight is the year 2000 and we know lots happened in that year. Starting with the New Year’s Eve when everyone waited for a Y2K catastrophe that didn’t happen. I really didn’t pay too much attention to all that, and hoarded nothing. I actually forgot all about it until around 2 am, when I turned to my husband and said, “I guess no planes are falling out of the sky.”

Dec17

December 16, 2015 — GH & 1989

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Jerry Jax is hassling Robin. He wants a definitive yes or no on whether her work has been successful. How is she supposed to get anything done with him bugging her all the time?

Anna tells Mac he’s done enough, but he wants to follow through with getting the goods on Paul. He tells her the information he has about Paul, none of which is very helpful, and says he’s talked to everyone, so he doesn’t know where to go from here. Not everyone, says Anna, and I already know she must mean Tracy.

Yep. Paul and Tracy are walking through a winter wonderland and I’m wondering where they are since it’s not snowing in New York where Port Charles is supposed to be.

Ava runs into Kiki while she’s delivering paintings for the auction. Ava tells her there’s someone who needs her, but it’s not Ava.

In the Corrinthos  household, Sonny is exercising and Carly thinks that Morgan is still sleeping, but he walks through the front door. Sonny asks if he’s been out all night. Morgan says yes and so what? He says he slept on the couch at a friend’s house. Friends they don’t know. He gets kind of testy and Carly asks if he’s taking his meds. He shakes his pill bottle at them and says yes, like showing them the bottle makes it so. He goes upstairs.

Ava says she’s clear on Kiki’s feeling toward her, but she wants Avery to know her big sister. She wants Kiki to come over on Christmas. Kiki says Avery is too young to know what’s going on. Ava says she will one day and asks Kiki to put their differences aside and give Avery a merry Christmas.

Tracy flatters Paul, saying he’s a genius at his job and has really come through for Dillon. Paul says they set the bar low at his job, but Dillon is doing well. He got a job at Crimson and he’s going to stay in Port Charles. Tracy says they’re a family again for the first time in a long time, and she thinks that’s part of why Dillon is shaping up. Carrrlos is eavesdropping.

Sabrrrina asks Dr. Lee if she can speak with her. The doctor says sure, but Michael pops out of nowhere and says let’s go over the sonogram. Sabrrrina must want to punch him in the nose by now, since he doesn’t give her a moment’s peace.  Dr. Lee says the sono looks great and the development is right on track. Sabrrina is like, cool, let’s go, but Michael says hold on there, I have a few questions. He says according to the internet, the baby is big. Dr. Lee says stay off of google and the baby is in the range it’s supposed to be.

Mac says Dillon probably doesn’t know much and Tracy isn’t going to help. Anna agrees that she’d probably just tip Paul off. She has a call in to someone who might be able to help with the autopsy report.  Mac says it’s good to see her back to her old self. Anna says she feels like she has a way forward now and needs to find out what happened and why.

Emma and Patrick are in Paris and go to the address they think they have for Robin – where they send letters from Emma – but it’s an antique shop. Patrick tells Emma that he must have put the wrong address into his phone.

Jerry says that Robin’s 48 hours are up, and she says she’s had a breakthrough. She’s found the secret to immortality.

Carly says it’s too soon for Morgan to be out all night. Sonny says as a father, he agrees, but as someone who is bi-polar, he gets where Morgan is coming from and how much he hates people watching him all the time. Carly wants to count his pills, but Sonny says don’t do it. Just as she’s about to, Morgan comes downstairs. He gets livid, but counts out the pills and proves he’s been taking them. (Well, not really, he could have thrown them out.) He stalks out and Sonny tells Carly they need to make a plan so they know what to do when Morgan has another episode.

Ava and Kiki go down Christmas Memory Lane and talk about seeing the Rockefeller Center tree. Kiki almost starts laughing, but then shuts down and says she doesn’t want to discuss it. Ava asks her to please just think about Avery, and Kiki says okay. Ava texts Paul, saying she’s had a victory and to meet her at her place later.

Tracy asks what’s up with the text and Paul says he can handle it later. They kiss. Well, Tracy really kisses Paul, but he’s okay with it too.

Anna says if she can find Carrrlos, she can get him to turn state’s evidence. She says if she’s correct, Paul also killed Sloane. She gets a call and says they might be able to prove something after all.

Robin says that she thinks someone’s personality can be preserved digitally. Jerry says that’s sci/fi stuff, but can she really do that? She says she needs more time and he heaves a huge sigh, but asks how much.

There’s a knock at Patrick’s door. It’s the lady from the antique shop who got a note from him. He says that’s the address he had for his wife. The lady asks if that’s Robin Scorpio, and Patrick asks if she knows where Robin is. The lady says no, but she might be able to tell him what happened. He invites her in. She says that her address is similar to one on the other side of town, and often people get them confused. The lady is getting ready to leave when Emma says she likes her necklace. Patrick gives the necklace a weird look. After the lady leaves, Emma tells Patrick that Spencer has same necklace

Jerry asks what the timeline is, five or ten years? Robin says it could be longer. Jerry says he needs something that he can sell to the highest bidder now and her time is up.

Tracy is like, I don’t know where that came from, but says it’s nice having Paul around. She jets out of there like a bat out of hell. Carrrlos pops out and Paul hands him an envelope. Paul says he took a huge chance coming back and to get lost until Paul needs him for something else. Paul says he’ll be lucky if Sabrrrina doesn’t turn him in and Carrrlos says she wouldn’t turn in the father of her child.

Dr. Lee says Sabrrrina and baby are progressing right on schedule. Sabrrrina says she has to refill her prenatal vitamins and is going to meet Felix after, so Michael should run along. After he leaves, Dr. Lee says Sabrrina has enough vitamins and she knows the baby is further along than it should be. She assumes Michael isn’t the father. Sabrrina thanks her for not saying anything in front of Michael and the doctor says she’s bound by doctor/patient confidentiality.

Carly asks Ava if Avery can spend some unsupervised time on Christmas with Sonny. For Avery’s sake. Ha-ha! That’s the same argument Ava used with Kiki.

Morgan goes to the MetroCourt and Kiki asks how he’s doing. He says he’d be better if everyone would get off his back. She says she relates and tells him about Ava trying to get her to come over. Morgan tells her about counting out his pills for Carly to prove he’s taking his meds, and Kiki says but he isn’t. When they were bussing the table the last time Morgan was there, they found his pills. Told you.

Morgan says he can’t catch a break anywhere. He says he told the doctor he lost them and the doctor issued replacements. I don’t think that’s how that works. He asks why Kiki even cares since she just wants to be friends. She says she cares because she is a friend. He makes a big deal about asking her for water so he can take his pills.

Ava says she has plans. Carly says how about before her plans? Ava says to be clear, Carly is asking her to give Sonny an unsupervised visit on Christmas with Avery? When Carly says yes, Ava says absolutely not.

Michael tells Sonny he’s worried about him, but Sonny says there’s nothing to worry about. He says PT is going well and Epiphany is a real drill sergeant. He asks how the baby is. Michael says he just came from an appointment and they’re fine. Sonny says he can tell something’s wrong and Michael says he thinks Sabrrrina is hiding something.

Paul tells Carrrlos the baby means everything to the Quartermaines. Carrrlos tells Paul he might have abandoned his son as a baby, but he doesn’t roll like that. Paul says he needs to get out of the country until Paul needs him again. Carrrlos says he’s in no hurry because, thanks to Paul, everyone thinks he’s dead. Carrrlos had better watch it or he’s going to really be dead.

Anna says there’s a blood sample on file from Carrrlos, and it can be compared to the DNA on the necklace. She says they have nothing for Sloane though, and Mac tells her that while he was in Sloane’s apartment, he took Sloane’s toothbrush. Anna is ecstatic. She gets a call from Patrick who tells her he’s in Paris, but Robin isn’t there, and he doesn’t think she ever was.

Morgan apologizes. Kiki accepts. He says he needs all the friends he can get, and she says please just take your pills. Carly shows up and apologizes to Morgan. She says she just did it out of love, and Morgan says okay. Carly tells Kiki she appreciates her standing by Morgan. Kiki says she just wants to see him get better. Carly says if he listens to the doctor, he’ll get on track, but left untreated, his illness can get worse.

Tracy and Ava literally bump into each other.

Paul says there’s dead and there’s dead, and which one would Carrrlos prefer? Carrlos says don’t worry, he’s leaving. He doesn’t want to end up in Pentenville or worse. He adds that someday, somehow though, he will be with Sabrrrina.

Dr. Lee says the stress of keeping her secret isn’t helping Sabrrrina. Sabrrrina says if she tells Michael, she’ll break his heart. The doctor says he’s already asking questions, she’s going to deliver way early, and at least she would be taking control of the situation if she told him.

Sonny tells Michael that all women act weird when they’re pregnant and not to worry about it. Michael asks if he misses Avery. Sonny says yes, and he can’t wait to see her, but he wishes he’d be standing when he does. Michael asks Sonny if it bothers him that Sabrrina was involved with the man who shot him. Sonny says he’s just glad Sabrrrina ditched Carrrlos.

Anna is like, what the blip do you mean Robin isn’t there? She says maybe Patrick wrote the address down wrong. Patrick says that he thinks the Cassadines are involved because their family crest was on the antique store lady’s necklace. Anna says wait right there. She tells Mac she has to head to Paris.

Robin tells Jerry this will be a tremendous achievement for him. He says he needs something that will turn a profit like yesterday. I guess everyone is hurting economically, even Jerry Jax. He says her time has run out and tells the lackey in the hall to kill her. (Said lackey was being nice to her earlier, so I’m guessing she’s going to use that and escape.) Geez, I’d say Jerry owes Robin at least another year for all the time he took up asking her the same questions repeatedly and saying “time’s up” over and over.

Tomorrow – Robert is here! And more repercussions for Elizabeth.

Then and Now With Andy Cohen

This episode covered 1989. I know a lot happened with me in that year, but apparently the rest of the world was busy too. The Berlin Wall came down, Rob Lowe embarrassed himself with a sex tape, Madonna scandalized with Like a Prayer and The Simpsons ruled television.

I highly recommend this retrospective mini-series, which I’m sure will be rerun a thousand times on Bravo.  I could watch this stuff all day long. Unfortunately, there’s only one more episode. I’m wondering why just a few episodes, and who picked the arbitrary years?

Dec14

December 13, 2015 — Ash, Andy & Atlanta

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

For the next couple of weeks, much of the regular programming will be trumped by holiday cheer. Like the annual showing of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, where poor Rudolph gets abused by mean Santa. Tonight, Once Upon a Time was eclipsed by a special on the original Disney animated classic, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and The Walking Dead was replaced by an Into the Badlands marathon, another show well worth watching.

So I was left with a couple of bits and pieces and the usual nonsense from Atlanta.

 Ash Vs. Evil Dead

Now that Bruce Campbell has finally succumbed to the will of the fans, he has realized that he is Ash and will be forever more. Gory slapstick mixed with the shaky camera we’ve all come to know and love, this show will never win an Emmy, but as Bill Murray once so beautifully put it, it just doesn’t matter. Starz has thrown us a gruesome bone in the wasteland that is weekend programming, and I’m grateful.

Then & Now with Andy Cohen

If you can catch this show, do. I love the retrospectives. One of my favorite parts of New Year’s Eve is always what I’ve christened, the roll call of the celebrity dead. I also enjoy any trip down Memory Lane involving a year or decade I remember. Andy Cohen is a good choice to host one of these programs because he’s a lover of pop culture who has made himself part of pop culture.

This particular show is about 1994, “the year pop culture pushed back.” That actually sounds like a nonsense statement, and I at first I wondered what was so special about 1994. Actually, a lot. It’s the year that gave us Tonya and Nancy, OJ’s slow speed chase, the suicide of Kurt Cobain, and so much more.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Phaedra, Porsha and a wannabe are going shopping. Porsha talks about working on a Miami trip for the ladies with Kenya. Meanwhile, Sheree, Kandi and Kenya are exploring the still unfinished “Moore Manor,” Kenya tells Kandi it’s a Cynthia re-do, since the boat trip went so horribly wrong. Kim is coming along, which is surprising, for the same reason.

Another Wife Wannabe, Tammy, is joining them on the trip. Kenya uses her phone cam when they board the plane, and we get to see them trying to cram things into the overhead that won’t fit unless Willy Wonka comes by with his shrinking machine.

After the fastest flight in history, they take a limo to the house Kenya rented. Estate really. They’ve decided that since Kandi is pregnant, she can have the master bedroom. Surprisingly thoughtful of them. The house has an infinity pool that I would be spending all my time in. Porsha’s wannabe friend, Shemia (who Kenya keeps calling things like “Shimmy Shimmy Koko Bop” and “Sheneneh”), has met them at the house. Lots of wannabes in this episode. There are two living rooms, and Kim decides she’s sleeping in one of them. I’ll bet the TV has a lot to do with that decision. The others are like, why would you want to sleep in the living room? but hey, it’s her vacation too. And I’m guessing, like me, she hasn’t had one since 1987, so let her set up camp in the living room if she wants to.

I have no doubt that, as usual, this gorgeous luxury spot will be wasted on this bunch.

Tammy sits down to talk to Kim in her living room space, while Kenya entertain the others with imitations of Kim. Apparently, Tammy is an acquired taste, but Cynthia says she’ll take quirky and weird over mean nasty and shade throwing any day. Kenya says that Tammy (who’s friends with Sheree’s ex-husband) intimated that Sheree was a gold-digger. Sheree seems to think she also slept with him.

The ladies gather for dinner at a fancy restaurant where they have a private back room. The servers start bringing weird things to the table, like a Viking helmet for Kenya to wear, a toaster and what looks like fondue. Kim makes an announcement that she might not make it through the whole trip because she might get homesick. Huh? In her individual interview Kim says she’s out of her element and needs to rise above her feelings. What?

Cynthia says Neanderthal Peter is making an effort to win her back. They’re talking about their significant others and Tammy says she’s been married 13 years and everything is still great. Sheree makes noises about being unhappy with her presence. Tammy says yes, she’s friends with Bob (the ex), and she feels he was treated unfairly during the divorce as far as seeing his kids went. Sheree asks if she slept with Bob. Tammy is like, are you joking? She says she’s not even attracted to him. Sheree says Bob told her differently and Tammy says that’s news to her. Sheree says she was told Tammy didn’t like her and had told Bob not to marry her. Kim can’t believe “grown ass women” are talking like this. Get used to it if you’re going to be on this show. Kim says there’s a difference between information and instigation. Kenya says sometimes people just need to clear the air of old stuff.

Porsha has set up another boat trip. Really? Kim and Phaedra are talking and Kim says it’s hard to tell if Kenya is being genuine or not, and that people can air their grievances without being messy. Kenya doesn’t understand why Kim is sticking her nose into it.

Kim breaks down at lunch because she’s homesick. She says that everyone is having a good time, but all she’s thinking about is she’d rather be sharing it with her husband. That’s a really nice thought, but she seems to be getting weird about it, like a kid who’s away at camp for the first time. She starts to cry about how she’s lost herself and she can’t find herself here. I hate to tell her, but it’s highly doubtful you’d be finding much of anything on a long weekend in Miami except a Margarita.

Whoa. She’s weeping and wailing to Phaedra outside, while the women flirt with some dude named Oliver inside at the table. Phaedra says she’s sensitive to Kim missing her husband, and if her husband treated her well, she’d be missing him too. Shade of the night. Somehow, Phaedra turns the conversation around to her own problems, but Kim seems to think she’s a great friend. They go back inside.

New guy Oliver and his friend have invited themselves over to party. The girls get googly eyed when Kim says she misses her husband, but on the side Kenya says that most of the women would pay get away from their husbands and kids. Houdini Tammy, who had disappeared, comes back draped with another strange man. It’s her nephew, Glen, who Kenya immediately turns her high beams on.

It’s time for the ladies to get back on the boat and the guys go with them. Things go a little sour when Glen doesn’t respond positively to Kenya’s aggressive attempt to get his attention.

Next week, it looks like things go so far south, they hit the equator.

Nov13

November 12, 2015 — GH, the OC & Brooks

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

Elizabeth comes downstairs to find Jason (I almost called him “Jake”) on the laptop. He tells her about visiting Sonny and says he was looking up bad stuff about himself online.

Sam is once again mooning over her old wedding ring. Patrick comes in and she drops it like it’s hot. She tells Patrick about giving Jason the motorcycle. Patrick says they need to tell Emma asap. Sam says that oddly enough, Emma had asked what would happen if Danny’s father came back, and she had said that was impossible. (Impossible earworm now.) Patrick notices she’s still wearing her engagement ring, so he’s hopeful that everything will work out. Good thing he didn’t catch her a few moments earlier.

Paul is all dapper and bouncy, telling Anna he’s glad she took the special investigator job. She says he didn’t give her much choice.

Jordon tells Dante she heard what happened at The Haunted Star.

Lulu and Dillon are getting jiggy with it.

Alexis shows up at Sam’s and asks how she’s holding up. Alexis says she can’t even imagine the emotional roller coaster Sam must be on, and Sam thanks her. I’m not sure why. Alexis tells her that the first thing they have to do is rescind the claim that Jason is dead, and then asks Sam if she wants to divorce Jason, since obviously she has to do that if she wants to marry Patrick.

Jason tells little Jake who he is. Jake is like, I knew it, because he did. I noticed he didn’t say anything to his mother about how she’d said it first. Monica is at the door. I’d forgotten that Jason is her son.

Paul tells Jordan about hiring Anna. She says that’s cool, but the timing is weird, since there’s not much in the way of organized crime going on right now. Unless there’s something Paul isn’t telling her. Yeah, like everything.

Dillon and Lulu are still getting it on, and I thought one of their phones was ringing, but it was really the background music being too loud. She stops things before they get totally nakey. She says she’s doing the same thing Dante did, and Dillon asks if she’s going to forgive Dante. Please don’t let it be this easy.

Dante tells Valerie (why is he even talking to her?) that he’s not sure how much space to give Lulu. If she sees them talking, he’s going to have to give her a whole lot of space. Like forever space. Valerie says to give Lulu a little time and she’ll come around. And blah-blah-blah about what a great guy he is.

Lulu tells Dillon they aren’t such great friends anymore, and he gets kind of offended. He insults Dante and deservedly so, but she says she still loves Dante, even though she wishes she didn’t.

Sam tells Alexis that she and Jason might be married, but he doesn’t remember and started a new life. When Alexis asks what she wants, Sam says to go back in time before Jason disappeared. Nobody asked me, but I’d like to go back to the 80s.

Monica says grandma stuff to Jake and Elizabeth takes him to school. Jason says he hopes Monica doesn’t expect him to call her mom. He says he doesn’t want one more person telling him what he was like or what he should feel. She says she has no intention of doing that, but if he wants any truths, to let her know. Monica says she learned to let go of the man he was and love the one he is now. She just wants a conversation about who he’s become. She asks for a hug and he gives her one. She invites him to the annual Thanksgiving pizza dinner. He promises to think about it and she promises that, per tradition, it will be a disaster. I love Thanksgiving at the Q’s! Waaah! I miss Alan, and Lila, and Edward.

Elizabeth whines to Patrick about how the man she was going to marry is married to his fiancé. Patrick has an astute moment, and says something about how Elizabeth acted like something might go wrong just before the wedding was supposed to happen. She says if he just keeps Sam away from Jason, everything will be okay.

Dante wishes Valerie the best of luck (really, that’s what he says) and they have an awkward hug.

Lulu apologizes to Dillon. This time, her phone really does ring and she says it’s a reminder that she has to be somewhere and dashes off. Paul arrives. Dillon apologizes for taking Paul’s half a million, but Paul is like, it’s cool, I’ll write it off. I wish Paul was my dad. Dillon says he’s pulling the plug on the film. Paul says he feels partially responsible for encouraging him go after what he wanted. Paul and Dillon do some exposition dialogue to catch people up who missed the last few episodes.

Jordan isn’t totally buying that Paul hired Anna to keep everything going well. Anna says she’s got too much time on her hands and just sits around thinking about Duke. Jordan tells Anna to keep an eye on Paul because she doesn’t quite trust him. Anna says she has every intention of doing that.

Elizabeth tells Patrick that Sam will want Jason back. He says, “Ouch!” and I agree. That was freakin’ rude, but no surprise since she is soooo self-centered. Patrick says to give him some credit.

Sam says she understands that she and Jason might have taken different paths, but it freaks her out that he remembers nothing of their life together. She said she always had the feeling he was alive, even when everyone told her to shut-up and move on. She’s says Spinelli felt it spiritually, but she felt it physically in her heart. She can’t believe Jason didn’t feel it too. And – no surprise – there he is at the door!

Patrick tells Elizabeth que sera sera, and if what they have is real, it will work out. Like Elizabeth is going to let things alone. Monica arrives at the hospital and tells Elizabeth that Jason told her he feels like he’s being pulled in all directions, and she needs to back off. Go, Monica!

Alexis “introduces” herself to Jason, and leaves. Sam calls Danny and if those two don’t say something about the Lucky Buddha (which I think is actually not the right name) vow renewal, I am going to go out of my mind.

Paul tells Dillon not to give up on his dreams. I wouldn’t have expected him to be so cliché.

Dante and Lulu both show up for the doctor’s appointment they had to prepare for the embryo transfer. Very awkward. The Nurse Practitioner (I don’t really know what she is, but that’s what I decided) says the doctor is in surgery and gives Lulu some prescriptions. She says, “So. Are you ready to make a baby?” and I almost lose it.

Lulu says they’ve decided not to move forward and please tell the doctor they’re canceling. The NP asks what they should do with the embryo and she says don’t do anything and runs out. Dante follows, and asks what her plans are. She asks what shade of lipstick Valerie wears since it’s on his collar. D’oh! Then she tells him she might want to give Rocco siblings one day, and she doesn’t need him to do it. Oh, snap! Quadruple snap.

Valerie gets a call that she’s going to be working with Dante. No way, no how, would that ever happen IRL.

Monica tells Elizabeth to give Jason some time to remember. Another unbelievable scenario.

Jason tells Sam he has questions. She says if she can help him, she will, whenever he’s ready. She says he’s welcome to see Danny any time, and since Danny really doesn’t know what’s going on, there’s no drama or pressure. They almost hug, but it’s too awkward, so they shake hands, which is even more awkward. Lots of awkward in this episode. He starts to leave and Sam asks him not to go.

The Real Housewives of the OC – Brooks Tells All & Secrets Revealed

We’ve already seen the main point – Brooks telling Meghan to f-off.  This is basically a one-on-one interview with Andy Cohen to follow up the whole does-he-or-does-he-not have cancer debacle this season. There isn’t a lot to say about the show, since we’ve pretty much heard it all. Brooks has admitted to throwing around false documents for the show’s sake, but still insists that he did/does have cancer. He is not, however, going to make anyone privy to his real medical records. While we haven’t heard great things about him, my jury is still out on this. He seems like a real schmuck, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t sick.

My main gripe with the whole thing though, is how Vicki was treated. Maybe she knew, maybe she didn’t, but I’m sure she believed him up to a point. Things changed though, when her mother died. Vicki was tremendously affected by this and no one took that into account or even seemed to care. Meghan actually said, like the insensitive, unempathetic brainless twit that she is, that a death doesn’t affect other areas of her life. I don’t wish ill on her, but one day she will be sorry for those words. Oh, unless she is really heartless and once someone dies, they’re out of sight out of mind for her.

My father raised me and passed away just before I got married. It’s been 30 years now, and it still affects me in some ways. Time doesn’t heal all wounds; it just makes them easier to live with. When this was fresh, it affected me greatly. It’s like your world stops and you wonder how everything else can still be going on. I could see the tremendous pain that Vicki was, and still is, in. Perhaps Brooks was someone she could cling to in that time, and she didn’t want to see that there was anything wrong. If her friends really loved her, they would have backed off for a minute. Instead, they were absolutely relentless in their quest to prove Brooks was a liar and hammer opinions and questions at her. Meghan really does seem like there’s something wrong with her thinking, and she didn’t know Vicki, so that (almost) makes sense. But I’m disappointed in the other ladies. They should know better. Shame on them. And I see they’re still bitching about it. I hope they come around, but regardless, I hope Vicki is able to pull herself out of this funk she’s in. I haven’t always liked her behavior, but I think she has a good heart, and I’m rooting for her.

On to some revealed secrets. I’m glad they stopped using the term “lost footage.” Did they expect me to think Andy dropped it behind his desk and then forgot about it? Don’t insult my intelligence. I feel stupid enough already just watching this stuff.

I like these shows, because they often save the best for last, and there will be scenes that have me wondering why they weren’t included in the regular season. It’s also the time we get to see the women getting along, just having fun

Tamra says she hasn’t had a potato in 10 years. Ha-ha! Shannon says a Michigan diet is potato, potato, potato. I say an Oklahoma diet is beef, beef, beef.

We get to see some more of Heather shopping for the house. It has 70 doors! She says her closet, which I’m sure is also a dressing room, needs a combination to get in to. Is it a panic room too? Terry must be freaking loaded. I don’t think it came from Heather’s TV movie income. I’m not criticizing, just making an observation.

There wasn’t much Meghan in this show. I’m wondering if she left a bad taste in fans’ mouths or if she just didn’t contribute anything except negativity. She was even excluded from the additional footage of the cancer argument, which I somewhat tuned out since I’ve had enough now.

I’m glad to see The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is coming back on December 1 (Giggy!), but it makes me think of how close Christmas is, and how unprepared I always am. Maybe I should get out the decorations tomorrow. Yeah, right.

Sep24

September 23, 2015 – GH, LA Women & Listings

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Morgan has his own logic going on about going to a shrink. Yes, he promised he would go, but he promised he would go after the wedding, and the wedding didn’t happen, so now he doesn’t have to keep his promise.  I guess he’s not going to get in trouble for shooting Julian? Now Julian and Alexis are relaxing, while Julian nurses his wound with…an ice bag. Giving him the Tough Guy of the Year Award.

Sam is weeping over her old wedding ring and boxing up her Jason memories as Patrick serenades us on his new guitar. This is giving me a headache. The other thing hurting my head is Elizabeth and Jake. Although I appreciated Jason in a nostalgic kind of way (as he was one of the Quartermaine clan), he was never one of my favorites, but I do like “Jake,” and desperately want to see his real identity revealed. You’d think Elizabeth would have even half a clue. The longer she stretches this out, the worse it’s going to be for her when he eventually finds out from someone else. Actually, that’s the only thing making it all worth it for me. She’s pushing him for a wedding date, like that might save this situation instead of piling more karma on.

What’s all this lady mob boss talk about Ava? I don’t remember her really having much to do with that other than being Julian’s sister. Paul is telling Dillon all about how he scored the DA job and how he’s going to put her away along with all the other mobsters. In the meantime, Ava has told Scotty he can earn a cool million by getting Avery back for her. Yes, I’m aware they call him “Scott” now, but he’ll always be Scotty to me. We grew up together. Love Ava’s earrings and how they match her dress. Maybe orange is the new black. Ha-ha! Dillon is talking about how noble Paul is. I’m guessing it will be another year before his real intentions are revealed.

Morgan has a moment of clarity when Carly says Ric will be helping them with Avery’s custody case, and says they shouldn’t trust him. Carly says they have no choice (huh?) and that he’s a very talented attorney. Talented at getting himself in trouble maybe, but I haven’t seen much evidence of that (no pun intended). It’s bothering me that Morgan is the voice of reason about anything.

Holy crap! Ava just showed up at the hospital and Avery looked at her and said, “Mom.” Sign that kid up for life. It’s unusual for an infant to even look at one of the actors, much less respond to them appropriately.

Survivor Cambodia: Second Chance

I haven’t watched Survivor in a long time, but I’m thinking of going back in this season. I’ve dabbled in it here and there, but I kind of stopped watching seriously after Pearl Islands. Jonny Fairplay lying about his grandmother’s death was such a brilliant move, I didn’t think it could ever be topped. It’s like how, when you read a really good book, you don’t want to read another one for a while.

This time they’re in Cambodia, and the cast is made up of players who have already been in the game before. It’s also entirely made up of players that fans have voted for. For some, it’s been as long as 15 years. And it looks like it. I’m thinking that any body fat these people have will be gone by the end of the game.

As usual, the playing field is gorgeous, and I’d totally love to be there if I was staying in a hotel. I readily admit, I wouldn’t last five minutes in this game. I’d be crying for my tablet and hair dryer. I would have made a lousy pioneer too.

At the beginning of the game, I don’t even try to remember everyone’s names. That won’t happen until it’s narrowed down to like six of them. This time, the first challenge is the same as the first one on the very first Survivor. The challenges always cause my brain to freeze. Even if I made it to the first one, I’d never make it through the first one. I wouldn’t even remember the list of instructions.

Until Andy Cohen came along, I was convinced Jeff Probst was the antichrist of reality TV.  The website says Jeff has a “spunky” attitude. Is that what we’re calling “antagonistic” now?

It figures this has to be on for 2 hours tonight. I’ll be back, but for now I’m switching over to…

Little Women LA

The ladies are going to the racetrack, so Terra and Tonya are making fancy hats. I went to the Belmont Stakes once, but I didn’t wear a hat at all. I’d never been to a horse race before, and I was pretty surprised at how quick a race is. I don’t know what it was I’d expected – maybe more of a marathon than a sprint. I placed a small bet, but didn’t win anything except a drunk trying to pick me up near the ladies room.

Brianna never showed for the second day of the video shoot, feeling she gave Tonya enough time. She’s bitching to Matt about the girls. I still don’t have a handle on him yet. He seems okay, but I respect Terra’s judgment. Even the rest of the ladies, with the exception of Jasmine, don’t like him much either.

Huge surprise. Christy had once been the victim of domestic violence, which resulted in her needing neck surgery and contributed to her subsequent alcoholism (which we did know about). She’s meeting with a doctor to see if there’s something that can be done about the pain she’s still suffering from. She has two bulging disks and will need surgery before she can try to get pregnant again.

I’m just going to say it. I don’t think Brianna can sing all that well. This kind of means nothing, since Kim Zolciak had a hit single and they can make anyone sound good, but she has the opportunity to work with Berry Gordy’s son, Kerry, so she needs to get it together. She doesn’t seem to take criticism well either, which will make it tough for her in the music biz. She says she “wasn’t prepared” for it. Brianna, people pay big money for that criticism. It’s called instruction. I studied musical comedy with the guy who originally directed The Fantasticks. Two weeks out of the year, the woman who’d first played the lead in that show would sub for him when he went to Texas to direct it fresh there. It was the worst. She loved everything we did, which gave us all nothing to work on. Time and dollars wasted.

Tonya’s cousins are grilling her boyfriend, which seems a little late in the game, since they’ve been seeing each other for a while. Tonya says she would like him to take the lead more. Good luck with that, Lil Boss.

Elena is getting her dresses together for her vow renewal – a white one for the ceremony and a red one for the reception. She’s wearing this neon violet lipstick in her interview segments that I’m not so sure I like, but she’s so gorgeous, it really doesn’t matter. She asks Terra to be her matron of honor.  I hate that title. I also had a matron of honor and understand it’s the distinction between an attendant who is married and one who isn’t, but since it’s a variant of the word “matronly,” it doesn’t come off as sounding very attractive.

Off to the races! Everyone gets a hat, they watch one race up close and then head to the box where there’s booze and food. They discuss throwing a bachelorette party for Elena. She says that since she’s been married for 4 years, it’s a little late for penises other than her husband’s, so they decide on a spa day. Now they’re eating some giant ice cream concoction that I wish I had a spoon in. Brianna is being a stick in the mud because no one is talking about throwing a party for her. Maybe I missed something, but as far as I know, she doesn’t even have a date set yet. Tonya brings up Brianna not showing up for day two of the video shoot and how things like that cost money.(Are those Van Cleef & Arpels earrings on Brianna’s ears?) This quickly degenerates into a conversation about Matt – right in front of him like he’s not there. Jasmine, who is literally sitting in the middle of the argument, with hand gestures happening in front of her face, decides to leave.

Tonya uses one of my favorite phrases, telling Brianna that she’s “the common denominator” in the problems. Tonya’s boyfriend looks like he’s zoning out. Brianna claims she isn’t jealous of Elena’s upcoming vow renewal event, but she just got done whining “what about me,” and she’s not fooling anyone. Terra suggests she and Matt leave. Ouch!

It looks like a secret will be revealed next week involving Brianna and Matt. Could they be married already?

Million Dollar Listing LA

We start off with Josh F. sending Josh A. a glitter bomb. He hates glitter. So do I. It gets in places it was never even near and won’t go away. I hate Play-Doh too. It gets in the treads of your shoes and you will never, ever get it out.

I’m starting to think that maybe these brokers do earn those high commissions, since a lot of the sellers are d-bags who think they can sell their properties for more than they’re worth. I can understand this somewhat from the broker’s point of view. I occasionally sell things for other people on eBay. They’ll see that someone else has the same pair of sunglasses they own, and it’s being listed for $7000, and they want me to do the same. But in their eagerness for cash, they don’t research it thoroughly enough. What they failed to discover is that those sunglasses have been sitting there for years, there’s been one offer, and the seller didn’t take it because he still thinks he can make that much. I can list everything for a million dollars, but it doesn’t mean anyone will buy it at the price. Like I always say, it’s worth what it’s worth to the person who wants it.

Josh A. is having the same problem with his client and even pointing out comps isn’t helping. It’s worse than trying to convince a woman she has to eat to lose weight. While anything is possible (especially with the magicians on this show), he also wants a done deal in 48 hours. Okay.

Josh F.’s grandmother, Edith,recently passed away. She was a feisty old broad, who lived a colorful life, and I’m going to miss her appearances on the show. She helped save quite a few Jewish lives during WWII and even had some notches in her belt for shooting Nazis. They don’t make them like that anymore. Oscar Schindler’s great nephew has sent a condolence letter, and Josh’s husband has had it framed. Very impressive.

David and James are two guys who look like brothers (they’re best friends since the beginning of time) and, like Simon McCord from The Real Housewives of NYC, would be great candidates for Graham Norton’s Gay or Eurotrash? game (Eurotrash). They’re having an open house designed after Burning Man. Although that’s another reason these guys deserve the bucks they get. The expense of staging houses and having parties to show them comes out of their pockets, and it can get very pricey.

Commercial break. Crimson Peak looks like an absolutely incredible film, but now that the price of movie tickets is close to that of a small car (thank goodness for the dollar store, or I’d have to take out a second mortgage to get snacks), I’ve gotten really picky. I hate when you see the best part of the film in the trailer and you spend the rest of the film wondering why you just threw your money in the toilet. This one looks promising though. And I can’t wait for Quentin Tarantino’s Hateful Eight to open on Christmas. I saw Django Unchained on Christmas, thinking there would be no one at the theatre. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! I was lucky I got a seat.

Houdini Josh A. has worked some miracle and sold the loathsome client’s house at the price he wanted. He outmaneuvered the slick investor he was working with. It is kind of fun watching the way these guys work.

James David (seriously, they look alike) is showing another broker a house for their client. The seller is supposed to be away, but the locks have been changed, there are cars in the driveway, and there’s a Rottweiler barking on the other side of the fence. Nice.

Sep18

September 17, 2015 — GH & 100 New York Wives

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

I had an appointment – ok, I went to lunch with a karaoke friend – so I DVR’d it. Glad to see the hospital machines attached to Sonny are in working order now.  Carly was getting dangerously close to one of those tubes though, when she was petting his face.

Morgan is going apesh*t on TJ, grilling him about who Charlie’s boss is, and generally acting crazy. He doesn’t know. Accept it.

Lots of tension at the police station with the Dante/Valerie tryst, but no real moving forward with the storyline. I can’t wait!

Sonny’s daughter, Kristina, arrives on the scene at Alexis’s place. I’ve given up trying to keep whose kids are whose at this point. There are so many baby daddies and mamas, I need a scorecard.

Scotty has blackmailed Ava out of 5 million, in exchange for the flash drive that holds her confession to Connie Falconeri’s murder. Since this evidence has “disappeared,” Ava is a free woman. For now.

Julian is still swearing he’s innocent and more mushy stuff with Carly and Sonny, and Kristina and Sonny in the hospital.

The ending wasn’t bad though. Just when I thought it was nearly a total loss and I shouldn’t have bothered, Scotty and Ava arrive at his place to find it tossed. And no doubt the flash drive is gone. Morgan is also on his way to Julian’s with a gun.

The Real Housewives of NYC: 100th Episode Special

Eight years? Has it really been eight years? Only the OC Wives had been aired when NYC began, making them the beginning of the franchise. It was originally going to be called Manhattan Moms, but they don’t really explain why it was changed. I just can’t imagine it being called that.

In the first minute, this is already fun because they’re showing some clips from the Wives’ audition tapes, interspersed with individual interviews with Andy at the clubhouse. Right away, I miss Alex and Simon. And I don’t miss Jill Zarin, who declined to take part in this show. Because, you know, she is the be all and end all, and can’t believe it’s continued without her. You got fired. Get over it.

Ramona goes on once again about how weird she thought Alex and Simon were, especially since they never wanted to go out apart. Um…who’s still married? I know, I know, I’m being mean, but I’m not too fond of Ramona, who, despite her “new beginnings,” needs to get her nose out of the air. Ramona admits to not being welcoming to Alex and Simon because she felt they were co-dependent and didn’t like it. How mature of her. Simon always reminded me of someone they’d pick to be a contestant on Graham Norton’s made-up game, Gay or Eurotrash? Ramona had a lot of tense moments involving those two. And I think she’s weirder than the both of them put together.

There are some clips from the various trips they’ve taken, and I’m with the Countess, my favorite being their trip to Morocco. The markets look fabulous, and of course there was that bucking camel who almost threw the Countess. It’s interesting to see how the Countess has changed over the years. We’ve gone from “introduce me as Mrs. de Lesseps” to “don’t be all uncool.” In her underwear. Bethenny says she didn’t even know what a countess was before meeting the Countess.  To be honest, I don’t know all the particulars either, but my husband is a marquis and I can tell you that the title and three bucks will get you on the subway in NYC.

Interesting how some watched the OC show prior to being on the NYC one, but others didn’t. I’m not sure if I would or not. It’s almost like deciding if you should read the book before you do the movie. Almost.

Ha-ha! Bethenny says Jill can smell D-list fame like a dog smelling steak. I’ll bet Aviva can too.

Alex and Simon were nothing compared to Kelly, who didn’t even seem to exist on the same planet as the rest of us. Confusing Al Sharpton with Jack Nicholson is pretty out there. And today she blames the other women for an unmarketable time period after the show was aired. Like her behavior had nothing to do with it.

Oh yeah, here comes One Season Cindy. Remember her? Me neither. Heather says her first day of shooting was like the first day of summer camp. What kind of camp did she go to? Was this in the Berkshires?

The whole Jill/Bethenny feud – if that’s what you want to call it – was kind of sad. It seems that Jill thought of them as some kind of team, and when Bethenny’s career took off without her, she got mean. (Ooh, that almost rhymed.) Bethenny tells Andy that it’s not like she was in a girl band. Apparently, after that season ended, Bethenny thought all was well, but Jill waited until the cameras were rolling again to create a scene. She wanted to make Bethenny look bad, but it backfired, and she got fired. Bethenny says that Jill did indeed help to get her on the show, she became the most successful of the Wives, and Jill could have been along for the ride with her, but “pigs get fat; hogs get slaughtered.” In other words, she wanted it all, but ended up with nothing.

One of the greatest moments in Housewives history was when Aviva threw her artificial leg on the table at La Cirque, stating that it was the only fake thing about her. She tells Andy he’s welcome, and admits to having planned it. Um, we figured that out pretty quickly, since one of those isn’t removed in 5 seconds. Let’s hope not anyway. She says “somebody had to put their foot down.” What a card! When asked for her reaction to the leg incident, the Countess says her first thought was that there’s a dirty shoe near the silverware. I can’t say that I wouldn’t have thought the same. Bethenny also talks about how Aviva was concerned she might not make it onto the show, but Bethenny reassured her that anyone who’d slept with two of the Wives exes and had one leg would be a shoo-in. I’m a card too.

Another great shining Aviva moment. When she declared that Truman Capote was the ghostwriter for To Kill a Mockingbird. Enough said about Aviva.

Oh yeah, I’d forgotten about how, during the first reunion, it was brought up that Alex had posed nude and Ramona left the stage. (BTW, nice crotch shot as she was getting up – what a lady! I hadn’t noticed that before.) This was a seriously ridiculous moment. And it wasn’t even like she posed for Hustler or something. They were art photos. Ramona is bizarrely hypocritical.

Aww! Bethenny is getting all weepy and thanking Andy for the opportunity to influence other women.

Watch What Happens Live Special: Top 10 NYC Moments

Andy shows a “Housewives Playhouse” clip with Bill Hader, Amy Schumer & Judd Apatow reenacting the scene in Turks and Caicos where the Countess offers eggs a la Francaise as a cure all for everything. Judd is playing the Countess like she’s Al Bundy. I have the feeling he’s never seen the show. Bill Hader says he doesn’t even know who his character is, but is still better than Judd. Amy, of course, is admittedly the biggest Wives fan on the planet.

We’re treated to Sonja’s first caberlesque. She really is in amazing shape. We’re also shown clips of the Ramonacoaster and Sonja’s advice. There’s a Halloweave special that I don’t remember. How could I not remember this? Simon sings I’m Real, one of the many Housewives musical efforts, except he’s not a housewife and can’t carry a tune in a bushel basket. Not that it’s ever stopped anyone else.

The Countess singing is the number one moment? Really? Okay, maybe. It was certainly the most lively moment out of what we were given. I guess Andy picked these?

I wish Andy would have another New Year’s Eve party. Like the one and only he had where Giggy married Grandma Wrinkles. It was one of the best New Year’s Eves I ever had. And yes, I know how sad that sounds.

And, as always, we’re left with the eternal question…

WHAT’RE YOU DOIN’ HERE WITHOUT DORINDA?

Sep4

September 3, 2015 — GH & Some Lost Secrets

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

Adding “the shipments” to the list of generic terms the PC mob uses. I’ll bet they’re secretly selling Amway. For the love of God, someone please say the name of the kid-whose-name-I-can-never-remember. I finally got the names down on MasterChef though Major points for me!

WHAT HAPPENED TO SLOANE??? That’s not Sloan. Who is that guy and what happened to the handsome one? All right, I’ll take the buzzcut, just bring him back. This guy reminds me of Beau Bridges. (No offense to Beau, but he just ain’t the other Sloane.) Seeing Sloane’s lovesickness over Anna has given me the earworm of Meatloaf’s “I Would Do Anything For Love,” except Sloan would do that too.

Somebody Morgan’s age (TJ! It’s TJ! That’s his name!) shouldn’t have that bad of a hangover. Geez, where are the days when young people went straight to brunch? If he keeps going the way he’s going, I might actually start liking Sonny. I even stopped watching GH for a while when it became The Sonny Show. While I love the spy stuff – ah, the days of the Ice Princess, the Wellington Dog, and Casey the alien (yeah, I know, I’m the only one who liked that storyline, but, Brad Lockerman) – I’ve always felt that if I want to watch mob doings, I’ll watch Goodfellas.

Is it me, or did Hayden’s hair color change when she was unconscious for so long in the hospital? Those crazy nurses!

Question. If Jublia is so great, how come the foot playing tennis still has fungus on its toes at the end of the match? The ridiculous things that bother me…

The Real Housewives of New York: Secrets Revealed

I love how they come up with new ways to milk the season. Secrets Revealed is the new Lost Footage. I’m glad they changed the title because “lost footage” seriously insults my intelligence. I have this mental picture of Andy Cohen hiding film clips in his desk until the season is over. Oddly enough, we often get some of the best footage out of the extra episodes. New earworm: “Save the Best for Last.”

Maybe there is hope. Bethenny is talking about how she was practically living on the street 6 or 7 years ago, and now she’s a skabillionaire. Although I don’t exactly have her energy.  Dorinda found an old love letter email from her late husband, Richard, that he wrote while she was sleeping. He talks about wanting to wake her, but they have plenty of years for that. Tears in everyone’s eyes, including mine.

OMG. Heather actually stopped in the middle of what she was saying and said she didn’t really care, it was basically too stupid a topic to continue with. That reminded me of the time when I was taking a musical comedy class. (You could really sing anything; it didn’t have to be from a musical.) This girl stopped in the middle of her song and said she never realized how idiotic the lyrics were, and sat down.

Sonja was defensive and needy? Has there been a time when she wasn’t? BTW, for all Sonja’s yapping about how the ladies talk about her, she sure had a lot to say about Kristen’s husband being caught up in that Ashley Madison business. My love for Sonja has waned this season. I don’t know if it’s too much drinking or what, but she seemed more unhinged than eccentric. Ow! That was my reaction to the knife in my heart when Kristen talked about breaking out her wedding dress for her 10th anniversary. Kristen seems surprised her wedding dress still fits. Really? She doesn’t look like she has an ounce of body fat. She couldn’t possibly have been thinner 10 years ago. Carole tries on the dress too. That seems kind of weird to me. I understand wanting to try them on at a store, even if you’re not the one getting married, but not somebody’s already-been-worn dress.

Ha-ha! Ramona just called Heather and Carole “Harold.” Ugh! I hate when Ramona gets all huggy/clingy. It usually happens after she’s done something awful and wants forgiveness. She makes me think of a sloth clinging to a tree. Or worse, a spider wrapping web material around a fly.

WHAT’RE YA DOIN’ HERE WITHOUT DORINDA?!