Tag Archives: Andy Cohen

Dec24

December 23, 2015 — It isn’t Christmas Without a Trip to GH & the Year 2000

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Dante and Valerie (ugh!) are hanging out in the town square or whatever passes as one. They have their uniforms on, so I guess they’re supposed to be on duty. Valerie says they haven’t really had any one on one time, and wonders where things are going.

At The Haunted Star, Lulu wakes Johnny up. She tells him she wants some answers and he tries to flirt. She wants to know the next step in his plan against Valerie. He says he’s waiting for a call from an associate.

Carly brings Sam back to her and Sonny’s place. Sam tells Sonny what went on at the gala.

Elizabeth runs to Nicholas, who’s lying there half conscious. Hayden freaks, and tries to pummel Jason a little, but it’s like a fly batting at an elephant.

Dante says he doesn’t blame Valerie for feeling confused and things are complicated. She asks him if he’s having second thoughts. When he hesitates, she says she thinks she’s got her answer. He says there is no answer and that just because he’s separated doesn’t mean he still doesn’t have feelings for Lulu and that Rocco comes first. He says he knows they can have something special and they kiss. Not sure where those feelings for Lulu went. Now he’s confusing me. Someone is watching them with binoculars.

Lulu tells Johnny that she hates Valerie, but doesn’t want her dead. He says he doesn’t want a murder rap, so he doesn’t either. She says she also doesn’t want Valerie physically hurt, and Johnny is a little insulted. He tells Lulu that he spoke with Valerie when he messed with her car, and that he’s discovered her vulnerabilities. Johnny tells Lulu to trust him and that when he’s done, Dante won’t want anything to do with Valerie. He gets a text and jets.

Laura comes by The Haunted Star to check on Lulu. She sees Lulu making the bed and says she thinks she knows what’s going on and it’s a big mistake.

Carly gets a call about an ambulance being called to the MetroCourt and leaves to go back.

Jordan shows up at the MetroCourt with a policeman. Hayden tells Jordan that Jason threw Nicholas off the balcony. Elizabeth tries to keep Nicholas from passing out.

Johnny meets up with his associate and looks through the binoculars. He says Lulu deserves more than that. Dante asks Valerie what she’s doing on New Year’s and does she want to come over and watch the bowl games? (My favorite being the Bran Flakes Bowl.) Dante gets a text from the commissioner telling him to go to the hospital. He leaves and Johnny says it’s go time. He “runs into” Valerie who is calling him Greg.

Lulu says Laura is jumping to the wrong conclusion and that she’s cleaning up after a friend who stayed over at the last minute. Laura is like, hmmm, and Lulu says she doesn’t want to talk about it. Laura says that she spent too much of her life running from things that hurt her. She says she knows Lulu is angry at Dante and wants to punish him and make him look like a fool. Lulu says she’s not having revenge sex. Laura says okay, but she can see something is bothering Lulu. She says Lulu has to find a way to accept Dante’s infidelity and has to decide whether she wants him back or not. She says Lulu thinks she’s in control, but her emotions are running the show and could lead to something she regrets.

The ambulance comes and gets Nicholas.

Hayden says everything happened fast and Nicholas didn’t have a chance to defend himself. Jordan asks if Jason has anything to add and he says not without a lawyer. Carly shows up and doesn’t believe what Hayden said. She says that Jason should see a doctor since he has a nasty cut on his hand. Jordan suggests they all go to the hospital and tells the policeman to escort Jason there.

Sam asks if there’s been any change in Sonny’s condition. He says no, but just believe in him. So clap if you believe in mob bosses. Sam tells him about the break up with Patrick and he says Jason came by the gym and told him everything. Sam tells him Nicholas was in on it too. Sam is concerned that if something happens to Nicholas, Jason will get blamed. Well, something did and he is to blame.

Carly comes to the hospital with Jason and says he needs to see a doctor. Jordan says he’s a person of interest and needs to be questioned. Dante comes in and Jordan tells him to handle Jason’s interrogation. She tells him Nicholas might not make it.

Lulu says Laura is reading too much into her cleaning the boat. Laura asks why Lulu won’t tell her who was there then. Dante calls Lulu and tells her about Nicholas.

Nicholas is getting defibrillated. (Wow. That’s actually a word. I thought I was making it up.) Jordan asks Hayden to tell her exactly what happened. Carly asks Elizabeth what happened, but Elizabeth says she doesn’t know and for once isn’t lying. Dante questions Jason.

Johnny says Valerie doesn’t look happy to see him. She wonders if his walk in the park is a coincidence. He says she’s right, he wasn’t just going for a walk and he should tell her why he’s really there.

Jason wants a lawyer, and rightly so. Hayden tries to act like Jason just came out of nowhere and pushed Nicholas off the balcony. Carly still isn’t buying it.

Johnny says he was listening to the kids caroling at the church. He says he gets emotional about Christmases past and he didn’t want to tell her. He says he has something to take care of and she asks if she can help.

Lucas says he was able to stabilized Nicholas and that it’s good Elizabeth was there to keep him from bleeding out. He says they won’t know anything for sure until Nicholas wakes up.

Laura shows up and asks how Nicholas fell. Hayden says he didn’t fall, that Jason pushed him.

Sonny says he learned a long time ago that you can’t force Jason to do anything, that he has to learn it for himself. Sam talks about her conversation with him on the balcony. She says they were able to talk and even agree, and they agreed they don’t know what happens next. Sam says she’s going to live in the moment with no expectations. Sonny says they’ve been through a lot and he’s in her corner.

Sam’s phone rings. It’s Carly. She tells Sam not to say anything to Sonny, but Jason needs her and just get to the hospital.

Laura gets in Jason’s face. Carly says Jason was defending himself and if anything, Nicholas wanted to kill Jason. Jordan asks Dante if Jason said anything and Dante says Jason wants a lawyer. Jordan places Jason under arrest and reads him his rights. Carly says Hayden is a liar and Jordan can’t base a case on what she alone says. Jordan acts like it’s unheard of for anyone to ask for a lawyer and that’s a reason to arrest him. Carly says she’ll call Diane and have her meet Jason at the station.

Laura is freaking a little and tells Hayden to start talking.

Lulu thanks Dante for calling her and they hug. Too bad Valerie can’t see that.

Johnny says he wanted to make a donation to the church, but all he had was a 50 dollar bill. Valerie says she thinks she has change and digs in her purse. Johnny makes an okay sign to his accomplice

Laura tells Hayden to look her in the eye and tell her she told the police the complete truth. Hayden says she did. Lucas comes out and Laura begs to see Nicholas. Lucas says okay, and Laura goes into Nicholas’s room. Dante wants to go in too, but Lulu tells him that Lucas said just family and follows Laura. Hayden tries to wiggle in herself, but Jordan wants to talk to her.

Elizabeth asks to have a moment alone with Jason. He says good for her, saving Nicholas’s life, and asks why she’s there. Elizabeth says she knows Hayden must be lying because she knows him.

Johnny sits on a bench with Valerie while she gives him change. Mystery guy takes candid snaps and I get it now. It’s going to look like she’s hanging out with a fugitive. Bye-bye Dante and her job.

Nicholas seems to be coming around and Laura tells him he’s been given a second chance and there’s a reason for that.

Carly tells Sonny what happened. He asks how Nicholas is and Carly says he’ll live. Sonny says that’s good because Jason won’t be charged with murder, but Nicholas will lie through his teeth. Carly says that’s what she’s afraid of.

Elizabeth tells Jason that she’ll always be there for him and hugs him. Sam sees it through the door window.

Tomorrow, Robin comes home.

Happy Holidays

Since most of the shows are in reruns this week, that’s all she wrote for today. Once again though, I recommend the Then and Now with Andy Cohen retrospectives. Tonight is the year 2000 and we know lots happened in that year. Starting with the New Year’s Eve when everyone waited for a Y2K catastrophe that didn’t happen. I really didn’t pay too much attention to all that, and hoarded nothing. I actually forgot all about it until around 2 am, when I turned to my husband and said, “I guess no planes are falling out of the sky.”

Dec17

December 16, 2015 — GH & 1989

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Jerry Jax is hassling Robin. He wants a definitive yes or no on whether her work has been successful. How is she supposed to get anything done with him bugging her all the time?

Anna tells Mac he’s done enough, but he wants to follow through with getting the goods on Paul. He tells her the information he has about Paul, none of which is very helpful, and says he’s talked to everyone, so he doesn’t know where to go from here. Not everyone, says Anna, and I already know she must mean Tracy.

Yep. Paul and Tracy are walking through a winter wonderland and I’m wondering where they are since it’s not snowing in New York where Port Charles is supposed to be.

Ava runs into Kiki while she’s delivering paintings for the auction. Ava tells her there’s someone who needs her, but it’s not Ava.

In the Corrinthos  household, Sonny is exercising and Carly thinks that Morgan is still sleeping, but he walks through the front door. Sonny asks if he’s been out all night. Morgan says yes and so what? He says he slept on the couch at a friend’s house. Friends they don’t know. He gets kind of testy and Carly asks if he’s taking his meds. He shakes his pill bottle at them and says yes, like showing them the bottle makes it so. He goes upstairs.

Ava says she’s clear on Kiki’s feeling toward her, but she wants Avery to know her big sister. She wants Kiki to come over on Christmas. Kiki says Avery is too young to know what’s going on. Ava says she will one day and asks Kiki to put their differences aside and give Avery a merry Christmas.

Tracy flatters Paul, saying he’s a genius at his job and has really come through for Dillon. Paul says they set the bar low at his job, but Dillon is doing well. He got a job at Crimson and he’s going to stay in Port Charles. Tracy says they’re a family again for the first time in a long time, and she thinks that’s part of why Dillon is shaping up. Carrrlos is eavesdropping.

Sabrrrina asks Dr. Lee if she can speak with her. The doctor says sure, but Michael pops out of nowhere and says let’s go over the sonogram. Sabrrrina must want to punch him in the nose by now, since he doesn’t give her a moment’s peace.  Dr. Lee says the sono looks great and the development is right on track. Sabrrina is like, cool, let’s go, but Michael says hold on there, I have a few questions. He says according to the internet, the baby is big. Dr. Lee says stay off of google and the baby is in the range it’s supposed to be.

Mac says Dillon probably doesn’t know much and Tracy isn’t going to help. Anna agrees that she’d probably just tip Paul off. She has a call in to someone who might be able to help with the autopsy report.  Mac says it’s good to see her back to her old self. Anna says she feels like she has a way forward now and needs to find out what happened and why.

Emma and Patrick are in Paris and go to the address they think they have for Robin – where they send letters from Emma – but it’s an antique shop. Patrick tells Emma that he must have put the wrong address into his phone.

Jerry says that Robin’s 48 hours are up, and she says she’s had a breakthrough. She’s found the secret to immortality.

Carly says it’s too soon for Morgan to be out all night. Sonny says as a father, he agrees, but as someone who is bi-polar, he gets where Morgan is coming from and how much he hates people watching him all the time. Carly wants to count his pills, but Sonny says don’t do it. Just as she’s about to, Morgan comes downstairs. He gets livid, but counts out the pills and proves he’s been taking them. (Well, not really, he could have thrown them out.) He stalks out and Sonny tells Carly they need to make a plan so they know what to do when Morgan has another episode.

Ava and Kiki go down Christmas Memory Lane and talk about seeing the Rockefeller Center tree. Kiki almost starts laughing, but then shuts down and says she doesn’t want to discuss it. Ava asks her to please just think about Avery, and Kiki says okay. Ava texts Paul, saying she’s had a victory and to meet her at her place later.

Tracy asks what’s up with the text and Paul says he can handle it later. They kiss. Well, Tracy really kisses Paul, but he’s okay with it too.

Anna says if she can find Carrrlos, she can get him to turn state’s evidence. She says if she’s correct, Paul also killed Sloane. She gets a call and says they might be able to prove something after all.

Robin says that she thinks someone’s personality can be preserved digitally. Jerry says that’s sci/fi stuff, but can she really do that? She says she needs more time and he heaves a huge sigh, but asks how much.

There’s a knock at Patrick’s door. It’s the lady from the antique shop who got a note from him. He says that’s the address he had for his wife. The lady asks if that’s Robin Scorpio, and Patrick asks if she knows where Robin is. The lady says no, but she might be able to tell him what happened. He invites her in. She says that her address is similar to one on the other side of town, and often people get them confused. The lady is getting ready to leave when Emma says she likes her necklace. Patrick gives the necklace a weird look. After the lady leaves, Emma tells Patrick that Spencer has same necklace

Jerry asks what the timeline is, five or ten years? Robin says it could be longer. Jerry says he needs something that he can sell to the highest bidder now and her time is up.

Tracy is like, I don’t know where that came from, but says it’s nice having Paul around. She jets out of there like a bat out of hell. Carrrlos pops out and Paul hands him an envelope. Paul says he took a huge chance coming back and to get lost until Paul needs him for something else. Paul says he’ll be lucky if Sabrrrina doesn’t turn him in and Carrrlos says she wouldn’t turn in the father of her child.

Dr. Lee says Sabrrrina and baby are progressing right on schedule. Sabrrrina says she has to refill her prenatal vitamins and is going to meet Felix after, so Michael should run along. After he leaves, Dr. Lee says Sabrrina has enough vitamins and she knows the baby is further along than it should be. She assumes Michael isn’t the father. Sabrrina thanks her for not saying anything in front of Michael and the doctor says she’s bound by doctor/patient confidentiality.

Carly asks Ava if Avery can spend some unsupervised time on Christmas with Sonny. For Avery’s sake. Ha-ha! That’s the same argument Ava used with Kiki.

Morgan goes to the MetroCourt and Kiki asks how he’s doing. He says he’d be better if everyone would get off his back. She says she relates and tells him about Ava trying to get her to come over. Morgan tells her about counting out his pills for Carly to prove he’s taking his meds, and Kiki says but he isn’t. When they were bussing the table the last time Morgan was there, they found his pills. Told you.

Morgan says he can’t catch a break anywhere. He says he told the doctor he lost them and the doctor issued replacements. I don’t think that’s how that works. He asks why Kiki even cares since she just wants to be friends. She says she cares because she is a friend. He makes a big deal about asking her for water so he can take his pills.

Ava says she has plans. Carly says how about before her plans? Ava says to be clear, Carly is asking her to give Sonny an unsupervised visit on Christmas with Avery? When Carly says yes, Ava says absolutely not.

Michael tells Sonny he’s worried about him, but Sonny says there’s nothing to worry about. He says PT is going well and Epiphany is a real drill sergeant. He asks how the baby is. Michael says he just came from an appointment and they’re fine. Sonny says he can tell something’s wrong and Michael says he thinks Sabrrrina is hiding something.

Paul tells Carrrlos the baby means everything to the Quartermaines. Carrrlos tells Paul he might have abandoned his son as a baby, but he doesn’t roll like that. Paul says he needs to get out of the country until Paul needs him again. Carrrlos says he’s in no hurry because, thanks to Paul, everyone thinks he’s dead. Carrrlos had better watch it or he’s going to really be dead.

Anna says there’s a blood sample on file from Carrrlos, and it can be compared to the DNA on the necklace. She says they have nothing for Sloane though, and Mac tells her that while he was in Sloane’s apartment, he took Sloane’s toothbrush. Anna is ecstatic. She gets a call from Patrick who tells her he’s in Paris, but Robin isn’t there, and he doesn’t think she ever was.

Morgan apologizes. Kiki accepts. He says he needs all the friends he can get, and she says please just take your pills. Carly shows up and apologizes to Morgan. She says she just did it out of love, and Morgan says okay. Carly tells Kiki she appreciates her standing by Morgan. Kiki says she just wants to see him get better. Carly says if he listens to the doctor, he’ll get on track, but left untreated, his illness can get worse.

Tracy and Ava literally bump into each other.

Paul says there’s dead and there’s dead, and which one would Carrrlos prefer? Carrlos says don’t worry, he’s leaving. He doesn’t want to end up in Pentenville or worse. He adds that someday, somehow though, he will be with Sabrrrina.

Dr. Lee says the stress of keeping her secret isn’t helping Sabrrrina. Sabrrrina says if she tells Michael, she’ll break his heart. The doctor says he’s already asking questions, she’s going to deliver way early, and at least she would be taking control of the situation if she told him.

Sonny tells Michael that all women act weird when they’re pregnant and not to worry about it. Michael asks if he misses Avery. Sonny says yes, and he can’t wait to see her, but he wishes he’d be standing when he does. Michael asks Sonny if it bothers him that Sabrrina was involved with the man who shot him. Sonny says he’s just glad Sabrrrina ditched Carrrlos.

Anna is like, what the blip do you mean Robin isn’t there? She says maybe Patrick wrote the address down wrong. Patrick says that he thinks the Cassadines are involved because their family crest was on the antique store lady’s necklace. Anna says wait right there. She tells Mac she has to head to Paris.

Robin tells Jerry this will be a tremendous achievement for him. He says he needs something that will turn a profit like yesterday. I guess everyone is hurting economically, even Jerry Jax. He says her time has run out and tells the lackey in the hall to kill her. (Said lackey was being nice to her earlier, so I’m guessing she’s going to use that and escape.) Geez, I’d say Jerry owes Robin at least another year for all the time he took up asking her the same questions repeatedly and saying “time’s up” over and over.

Tomorrow – Robert is here! And more repercussions for Elizabeth.

Then and Now With Andy Cohen

This episode covered 1989. I know a lot happened with me in that year, but apparently the rest of the world was busy too. The Berlin Wall came down, Rob Lowe embarrassed himself with a sex tape, Madonna scandalized with Like a Prayer and The Simpsons ruled television.

I highly recommend this retrospective mini-series, which I’m sure will be rerun a thousand times on Bravo.  I could watch this stuff all day long. Unfortunately, there’s only one more episode. I’m wondering why just a few episodes, and who picked the arbitrary years?

Dec14

December 13, 2015 — Ash, Andy & Atlanta

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

For the next couple of weeks, much of the regular programming will be trumped by holiday cheer. Like the annual showing of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, where poor Rudolph gets abused by mean Santa. Tonight, Once Upon a Time was eclipsed by a special on the original Disney animated classic, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and The Walking Dead was replaced by an Into the Badlands marathon, another show well worth watching.

So I was left with a couple of bits and pieces and the usual nonsense from Atlanta.

 Ash Vs. Evil Dead

Now that Bruce Campbell has finally succumbed to the will of the fans, he has realized that he is Ash and will be forever more. Gory slapstick mixed with the shaky camera we’ve all come to know and love, this show will never win an Emmy, but as Bill Murray once so beautifully put it, it just doesn’t matter. Starz has thrown us a gruesome bone in the wasteland that is weekend programming, and I’m grateful.

Then & Now with Andy Cohen

If you can catch this show, do. I love the retrospectives. One of my favorite parts of New Year’s Eve is always what I’ve christened, the roll call of the celebrity dead. I also enjoy any trip down Memory Lane involving a year or decade I remember. Andy Cohen is a good choice to host one of these programs because he’s a lover of pop culture who has made himself part of pop culture.

This particular show is about 1994, “the year pop culture pushed back.” That actually sounds like a nonsense statement, and I at first I wondered what was so special about 1994. Actually, a lot. It’s the year that gave us Tonya and Nancy, OJ’s slow speed chase, the suicide of Kurt Cobain, and so much more.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Phaedra, Porsha and a wannabe are going shopping. Porsha talks about working on a Miami trip for the ladies with Kenya. Meanwhile, Sheree, Kandi and Kenya are exploring the still unfinished “Moore Manor,” Kenya tells Kandi it’s a Cynthia re-do, since the boat trip went so horribly wrong. Kim is coming along, which is surprising, for the same reason.

Another Wife Wannabe, Tammy, is joining them on the trip. Kenya uses her phone cam when they board the plane, and we get to see them trying to cram things into the overhead that won’t fit unless Willy Wonka comes by with his shrinking machine.

After the fastest flight in history, they take a limo to the house Kenya rented. Estate really. They’ve decided that since Kandi is pregnant, she can have the master bedroom. Surprisingly thoughtful of them. The house has an infinity pool that I would be spending all my time in. Porsha’s wannabe friend, Shemia (who Kenya keeps calling things like “Shimmy Shimmy Koko Bop” and “Sheneneh”), has met them at the house. Lots of wannabes in this episode. There are two living rooms, and Kim decides she’s sleeping in one of them. I’ll bet the TV has a lot to do with that decision. The others are like, why would you want to sleep in the living room? but hey, it’s her vacation too. And I’m guessing, like me, she hasn’t had one since 1987, so let her set up camp in the living room if she wants to.

I have no doubt that, as usual, this gorgeous luxury spot will be wasted on this bunch.

Tammy sits down to talk to Kim in her living room space, while Kenya entertain the others with imitations of Kim. Apparently, Tammy is an acquired taste, but Cynthia says she’ll take quirky and weird over mean nasty and shade throwing any day. Kenya says that Tammy (who’s friends with Sheree’s ex-husband) intimated that Sheree was a gold-digger. Sheree seems to think she also slept with him.

The ladies gather for dinner at a fancy restaurant where they have a private back room. The servers start bringing weird things to the table, like a Viking helmet for Kenya to wear, a toaster and what looks like fondue. Kim makes an announcement that she might not make it through the whole trip because she might get homesick. Huh? In her individual interview Kim says she’s out of her element and needs to rise above her feelings. What?

Cynthia says Neanderthal Peter is making an effort to win her back. They’re talking about their significant others and Tammy says she’s been married 13 years and everything is still great. Sheree makes noises about being unhappy with her presence. Tammy says yes, she’s friends with Bob (the ex), and she feels he was treated unfairly during the divorce as far as seeing his kids went. Sheree asks if she slept with Bob. Tammy is like, are you joking? She says she’s not even attracted to him. Sheree says Bob told her differently and Tammy says that’s news to her. Sheree says she was told Tammy didn’t like her and had told Bob not to marry her. Kim can’t believe “grown ass women” are talking like this. Get used to it if you’re going to be on this show. Kim says there’s a difference between information and instigation. Kenya says sometimes people just need to clear the air of old stuff.

Porsha has set up another boat trip. Really? Kim and Phaedra are talking and Kim says it’s hard to tell if Kenya is being genuine or not, and that people can air their grievances without being messy. Kenya doesn’t understand why Kim is sticking her nose into it.

Kim breaks down at lunch because she’s homesick. She says that everyone is having a good time, but all she’s thinking about is she’d rather be sharing it with her husband. That’s a really nice thought, but she seems to be getting weird about it, like a kid who’s away at camp for the first time. She starts to cry about how she’s lost herself and she can’t find herself here. I hate to tell her, but it’s highly doubtful you’d be finding much of anything on a long weekend in Miami except a Margarita.

Whoa. She’s weeping and wailing to Phaedra outside, while the women flirt with some dude named Oliver inside at the table. Phaedra says she’s sensitive to Kim missing her husband, and if her husband treated her well, she’d be missing him too. Shade of the night. Somehow, Phaedra turns the conversation around to her own problems, but Kim seems to think she’s a great friend. They go back inside.

New guy Oliver and his friend have invited themselves over to party. The girls get googly eyed when Kim says she misses her husband, but on the side Kenya says that most of the women would pay get away from their husbands and kids. Houdini Tammy, who had disappeared, comes back draped with another strange man. It’s her nephew, Glen, who Kenya immediately turns her high beams on.

It’s time for the ladies to get back on the boat and the guys go with them. Things go a little sour when Glen doesn’t respond positively to Kenya’s aggressive attempt to get his attention.

Next week, it looks like things go so far south, they hit the equator.

Nov13

November 12, 2015 — GH, the OC & Brooks

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

Elizabeth comes downstairs to find Jason (I almost called him “Jake”) on the laptop. He tells her about visiting Sonny and says he was looking up bad stuff about himself online.

Sam is once again mooning over her old wedding ring. Patrick comes in and she drops it like it’s hot. She tells Patrick about giving Jason the motorcycle. Patrick says they need to tell Emma asap. Sam says that oddly enough, Emma had asked what would happen if Danny’s father came back, and she had said that was impossible. (Impossible earworm now.) Patrick notices she’s still wearing her engagement ring, so he’s hopeful that everything will work out. Good thing he didn’t catch her a few moments earlier.

Paul is all dapper and bouncy, telling Anna he’s glad she took the special investigator job. She says he didn’t give her much choice.

Jordon tells Dante she heard what happened at The Haunted Star.

Lulu and Dillon are getting jiggy with it.

Alexis shows up at Sam’s and asks how she’s holding up. Alexis says she can’t even imagine the emotional roller coaster Sam must be on, and Sam thanks her. I’m not sure why. Alexis tells her that the first thing they have to do is rescind the claim that Jason is dead, and then asks Sam if she wants to divorce Jason, since obviously she has to do that if she wants to marry Patrick.

Jason tells little Jake who he is. Jake is like, I knew it, because he did. I noticed he didn’t say anything to his mother about how she’d said it first. Monica is at the door. I’d forgotten that Jason is her son.

Paul tells Jordan about hiring Anna. She says that’s cool, but the timing is weird, since there’s not much in the way of organized crime going on right now. Unless there’s something Paul isn’t telling her. Yeah, like everything.

Dillon and Lulu are still getting it on, and I thought one of their phones was ringing, but it was really the background music being too loud. She stops things before they get totally nakey. She says she’s doing the same thing Dante did, and Dillon asks if she’s going to forgive Dante. Please don’t let it be this easy.

Dante tells Valerie (why is he even talking to her?) that he’s not sure how much space to give Lulu. If she sees them talking, he’s going to have to give her a whole lot of space. Like forever space. Valerie says to give Lulu a little time and she’ll come around. And blah-blah-blah about what a great guy he is.

Lulu tells Dillon they aren’t such great friends anymore, and he gets kind of offended. He insults Dante and deservedly so, but she says she still loves Dante, even though she wishes she didn’t.

Sam tells Alexis that she and Jason might be married, but he doesn’t remember and started a new life. When Alexis asks what she wants, Sam says to go back in time before Jason disappeared. Nobody asked me, but I’d like to go back to the 80s.

Monica says grandma stuff to Jake and Elizabeth takes him to school. Jason says he hopes Monica doesn’t expect him to call her mom. He says he doesn’t want one more person telling him what he was like or what he should feel. She says she has no intention of doing that, but if he wants any truths, to let her know. Monica says she learned to let go of the man he was and love the one he is now. She just wants a conversation about who he’s become. She asks for a hug and he gives her one. She invites him to the annual Thanksgiving pizza dinner. He promises to think about it and she promises that, per tradition, it will be a disaster. I love Thanksgiving at the Q’s! Waaah! I miss Alan, and Lila, and Edward.

Elizabeth whines to Patrick about how the man she was going to marry is married to his fiancé. Patrick has an astute moment, and says something about how Elizabeth acted like something might go wrong just before the wedding was supposed to happen. She says if he just keeps Sam away from Jason, everything will be okay.

Dante wishes Valerie the best of luck (really, that’s what he says) and they have an awkward hug.

Lulu apologizes to Dillon. This time, her phone really does ring and she says it’s a reminder that she has to be somewhere and dashes off. Paul arrives. Dillon apologizes for taking Paul’s half a million, but Paul is like, it’s cool, I’ll write it off. I wish Paul was my dad. Dillon says he’s pulling the plug on the film. Paul says he feels partially responsible for encouraging him go after what he wanted. Paul and Dillon do some exposition dialogue to catch people up who missed the last few episodes.

Jordan isn’t totally buying that Paul hired Anna to keep everything going well. Anna says she’s got too much time on her hands and just sits around thinking about Duke. Jordan tells Anna to keep an eye on Paul because she doesn’t quite trust him. Anna says she has every intention of doing that.

Elizabeth tells Patrick that Sam will want Jason back. He says, “Ouch!” and I agree. That was freakin’ rude, but no surprise since she is soooo self-centered. Patrick says to give him some credit.

Sam says she understands that she and Jason might have taken different paths, but it freaks her out that he remembers nothing of their life together. She said she always had the feeling he was alive, even when everyone told her to shut-up and move on. She’s says Spinelli felt it spiritually, but she felt it physically in her heart. She can’t believe Jason didn’t feel it too. And – no surprise – there he is at the door!

Patrick tells Elizabeth que sera sera, and if what they have is real, it will work out. Like Elizabeth is going to let things alone. Monica arrives at the hospital and tells Elizabeth that Jason told her he feels like he’s being pulled in all directions, and she needs to back off. Go, Monica!

Alexis “introduces” herself to Jason, and leaves. Sam calls Danny and if those two don’t say something about the Lucky Buddha (which I think is actually not the right name) vow renewal, I am going to go out of my mind.

Paul tells Dillon not to give up on his dreams. I wouldn’t have expected him to be so cliché.

Dante and Lulu both show up for the doctor’s appointment they had to prepare for the embryo transfer. Very awkward. The Nurse Practitioner (I don’t really know what she is, but that’s what I decided) says the doctor is in surgery and gives Lulu some prescriptions. She says, “So. Are you ready to make a baby?” and I almost lose it.

Lulu says they’ve decided not to move forward and please tell the doctor they’re canceling. The NP asks what they should do with the embryo and she says don’t do anything and runs out. Dante follows, and asks what her plans are. She asks what shade of lipstick Valerie wears since it’s on his collar. D’oh! Then she tells him she might want to give Rocco siblings one day, and she doesn’t need him to do it. Oh, snap! Quadruple snap.

Valerie gets a call that she’s going to be working with Dante. No way, no how, would that ever happen IRL.

Monica tells Elizabeth to give Jason some time to remember. Another unbelievable scenario.

Jason tells Sam he has questions. She says if she can help him, she will, whenever he’s ready. She says he’s welcome to see Danny any time, and since Danny really doesn’t know what’s going on, there’s no drama or pressure. They almost hug, but it’s too awkward, so they shake hands, which is even more awkward. Lots of awkward in this episode. He starts to leave and Sam asks him not to go.

The Real Housewives of the OC – Brooks Tells All & Secrets Revealed

We’ve already seen the main point – Brooks telling Meghan to f-off.  This is basically a one-on-one interview with Andy Cohen to follow up the whole does-he-or-does-he-not have cancer debacle this season. There isn’t a lot to say about the show, since we’ve pretty much heard it all. Brooks has admitted to throwing around false documents for the show’s sake, but still insists that he did/does have cancer. He is not, however, going to make anyone privy to his real medical records. While we haven’t heard great things about him, my jury is still out on this. He seems like a real schmuck, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t sick.

My main gripe with the whole thing though, is how Vicki was treated. Maybe she knew, maybe she didn’t, but I’m sure she believed him up to a point. Things changed though, when her mother died. Vicki was tremendously affected by this and no one took that into account or even seemed to care. Meghan actually said, like the insensitive, unempathetic brainless twit that she is, that a death doesn’t affect other areas of her life. I don’t wish ill on her, but one day she will be sorry for those words. Oh, unless she is really heartless and once someone dies, they’re out of sight out of mind for her.

My father raised me and passed away just before I got married. It’s been 30 years now, and it still affects me in some ways. Time doesn’t heal all wounds; it just makes them easier to live with. When this was fresh, it affected me greatly. It’s like your world stops and you wonder how everything else can still be going on. I could see the tremendous pain that Vicki was, and still is, in. Perhaps Brooks was someone she could cling to in that time, and she didn’t want to see that there was anything wrong. If her friends really loved her, they would have backed off for a minute. Instead, they were absolutely relentless in their quest to prove Brooks was a liar and hammer opinions and questions at her. Meghan really does seem like there’s something wrong with her thinking, and she didn’t know Vicki, so that (almost) makes sense. But I’m disappointed in the other ladies. They should know better. Shame on them. And I see they’re still bitching about it. I hope they come around, but regardless, I hope Vicki is able to pull herself out of this funk she’s in. I haven’t always liked her behavior, but I think she has a good heart, and I’m rooting for her.

On to some revealed secrets. I’m glad they stopped using the term “lost footage.” Did they expect me to think Andy dropped it behind his desk and then forgot about it? Don’t insult my intelligence. I feel stupid enough already just watching this stuff.

I like these shows, because they often save the best for last, and there will be scenes that have me wondering why they weren’t included in the regular season. It’s also the time we get to see the women getting along, just having fun

Tamra says she hasn’t had a potato in 10 years. Ha-ha! Shannon says a Michigan diet is potato, potato, potato. I say an Oklahoma diet is beef, beef, beef.

We get to see some more of Heather shopping for the house. It has 70 doors! She says her closet, which I’m sure is also a dressing room, needs a combination to get in to. Is it a panic room too? Terry must be freaking loaded. I don’t think it came from Heather’s TV movie income. I’m not criticizing, just making an observation.

There wasn’t much Meghan in this show. I’m wondering if she left a bad taste in fans’ mouths or if she just didn’t contribute anything except negativity. She was even excluded from the additional footage of the cancer argument, which I somewhat tuned out since I’ve had enough now.

I’m glad to see The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is coming back on December 1 (Giggy!), but it makes me think of how close Christmas is, and how unprepared I always am. Maybe I should get out the decorations tomorrow. Yeah, right.

Sep24

September 23, 2015 – GH, LA Women & Listings

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Morgan has his own logic going on about going to a shrink. Yes, he promised he would go, but he promised he would go after the wedding, and the wedding didn’t happen, so now he doesn’t have to keep his promise.  I guess he’s not going to get in trouble for shooting Julian? Now Julian and Alexis are relaxing, while Julian nurses his wound with…an ice bag. Giving him the Tough Guy of the Year Award.

Sam is weeping over her old wedding ring and boxing up her Jason memories as Patrick serenades us on his new guitar. This is giving me a headache. The other thing hurting my head is Elizabeth and Jake. Although I appreciated Jason in a nostalgic kind of way (as he was one of the Quartermaine clan), he was never one of my favorites, but I do like “Jake,” and desperately want to see his real identity revealed. You’d think Elizabeth would have even half a clue. The longer she stretches this out, the worse it’s going to be for her when he eventually finds out from someone else. Actually, that’s the only thing making it all worth it for me. She’s pushing him for a wedding date, like that might save this situation instead of piling more karma on.

What’s all this lady mob boss talk about Ava? I don’t remember her really having much to do with that other than being Julian’s sister. Paul is telling Dillon all about how he scored the DA job and how he’s going to put her away along with all the other mobsters. In the meantime, Ava has told Scotty he can earn a cool million by getting Avery back for her. Yes, I’m aware they call him “Scott” now, but he’ll always be Scotty to me. We grew up together. Love Ava’s earrings and how they match her dress. Maybe orange is the new black. Ha-ha! Dillon is talking about how noble Paul is. I’m guessing it will be another year before his real intentions are revealed.

Morgan has a moment of clarity when Carly says Ric will be helping them with Avery’s custody case, and says they shouldn’t trust him. Carly says they have no choice (huh?) and that he’s a very talented attorney. Talented at getting himself in trouble maybe, but I haven’t seen much evidence of that (no pun intended). It’s bothering me that Morgan is the voice of reason about anything.

Holy crap! Ava just showed up at the hospital and Avery looked at her and said, “Mom.” Sign that kid up for life. It’s unusual for an infant to even look at one of the actors, much less respond to them appropriately.

Survivor Cambodia: Second Chance

I haven’t watched Survivor in a long time, but I’m thinking of going back in this season. I’ve dabbled in it here and there, but I kind of stopped watching seriously after Pearl Islands. Jonny Fairplay lying about his grandmother’s death was such a brilliant move, I didn’t think it could ever be topped. It’s like how, when you read a really good book, you don’t want to read another one for a while.

This time they’re in Cambodia, and the cast is made up of players who have already been in the game before. It’s also entirely made up of players that fans have voted for. For some, it’s been as long as 15 years. And it looks like it. I’m thinking that any body fat these people have will be gone by the end of the game.

As usual, the playing field is gorgeous, and I’d totally love to be there if I was staying in a hotel. I readily admit, I wouldn’t last five minutes in this game. I’d be crying for my tablet and hair dryer. I would have made a lousy pioneer too.

At the beginning of the game, I don’t even try to remember everyone’s names. That won’t happen until it’s narrowed down to like six of them. This time, the first challenge is the same as the first one on the very first Survivor. The challenges always cause my brain to freeze. Even if I made it to the first one, I’d never make it through the first one. I wouldn’t even remember the list of instructions.

Until Andy Cohen came along, I was convinced Jeff Probst was the antichrist of reality TV.  The website says Jeff has a “spunky” attitude. Is that what we’re calling “antagonistic” now?

It figures this has to be on for 2 hours tonight. I’ll be back, but for now I’m switching over to…

Little Women LA

The ladies are going to the racetrack, so Terra and Tonya are making fancy hats. I went to the Belmont Stakes once, but I didn’t wear a hat at all. I’d never been to a horse race before, and I was pretty surprised at how quick a race is. I don’t know what it was I’d expected – maybe more of a marathon than a sprint. I placed a small bet, but didn’t win anything except a drunk trying to pick me up near the ladies room.

Brianna never showed for the second day of the video shoot, feeling she gave Tonya enough time. She’s bitching to Matt about the girls. I still don’t have a handle on him yet. He seems okay, but I respect Terra’s judgment. Even the rest of the ladies, with the exception of Jasmine, don’t like him much either.

Huge surprise. Christy had once been the victim of domestic violence, which resulted in her needing neck surgery and contributed to her subsequent alcoholism (which we did know about). She’s meeting with a doctor to see if there’s something that can be done about the pain she’s still suffering from. She has two bulging disks and will need surgery before she can try to get pregnant again.

I’m just going to say it. I don’t think Brianna can sing all that well. This kind of means nothing, since Kim Zolciak had a hit single and they can make anyone sound good, but she has the opportunity to work with Berry Gordy’s son, Kerry, so she needs to get it together. She doesn’t seem to take criticism well either, which will make it tough for her in the music biz. She says she “wasn’t prepared” for it. Brianna, people pay big money for that criticism. It’s called instruction. I studied musical comedy with the guy who originally directed The Fantasticks. Two weeks out of the year, the woman who’d first played the lead in that show would sub for him when he went to Texas to direct it fresh there. It was the worst. She loved everything we did, which gave us all nothing to work on. Time and dollars wasted.

Tonya’s cousins are grilling her boyfriend, which seems a little late in the game, since they’ve been seeing each other for a while. Tonya says she would like him to take the lead more. Good luck with that, Lil Boss.

Elena is getting her dresses together for her vow renewal – a white one for the ceremony and a red one for the reception. She’s wearing this neon violet lipstick in her interview segments that I’m not so sure I like, but she’s so gorgeous, it really doesn’t matter. She asks Terra to be her matron of honor.  I hate that title. I also had a matron of honor and understand it’s the distinction between an attendant who is married and one who isn’t, but since it’s a variant of the word “matronly,” it doesn’t come off as sounding very attractive.

Off to the races! Everyone gets a hat, they watch one race up close and then head to the box where there’s booze and food. They discuss throwing a bachelorette party for Elena. She says that since she’s been married for 4 years, it’s a little late for penises other than her husband’s, so they decide on a spa day. Now they’re eating some giant ice cream concoction that I wish I had a spoon in. Brianna is being a stick in the mud because no one is talking about throwing a party for her. Maybe I missed something, but as far as I know, she doesn’t even have a date set yet. Tonya brings up Brianna not showing up for day two of the video shoot and how things like that cost money.(Are those Van Cleef & Arpels earrings on Brianna’s ears?) This quickly degenerates into a conversation about Matt – right in front of him like he’s not there. Jasmine, who is literally sitting in the middle of the argument, with hand gestures happening in front of her face, decides to leave.

Tonya uses one of my favorite phrases, telling Brianna that she’s “the common denominator” in the problems. Tonya’s boyfriend looks like he’s zoning out. Brianna claims she isn’t jealous of Elena’s upcoming vow renewal event, but she just got done whining “what about me,” and she’s not fooling anyone. Terra suggests she and Matt leave. Ouch!

It looks like a secret will be revealed next week involving Brianna and Matt. Could they be married already?

Million Dollar Listing LA

We start off with Josh F. sending Josh A. a glitter bomb. He hates glitter. So do I. It gets in places it was never even near and won’t go away. I hate Play-Doh too. It gets in the treads of your shoes and you will never, ever get it out.

I’m starting to think that maybe these brokers do earn those high commissions, since a lot of the sellers are d-bags who think they can sell their properties for more than they’re worth. I can understand this somewhat from the broker’s point of view. I occasionally sell things for other people on eBay. They’ll see that someone else has the same pair of sunglasses they own, and it’s being listed for $7000, and they want me to do the same. But in their eagerness for cash, they don’t research it thoroughly enough. What they failed to discover is that those sunglasses have been sitting there for years, there’s been one offer, and the seller didn’t take it because he still thinks he can make that much. I can list everything for a million dollars, but it doesn’t mean anyone will buy it at the price. Like I always say, it’s worth what it’s worth to the person who wants it.

Josh A. is having the same problem with his client and even pointing out comps isn’t helping. It’s worse than trying to convince a woman she has to eat to lose weight. While anything is possible (especially with the magicians on this show), he also wants a done deal in 48 hours. Okay.

Josh F.’s grandmother, Edith,recently passed away. She was a feisty old broad, who lived a colorful life, and I’m going to miss her appearances on the show. She helped save quite a few Jewish lives during WWII and even had some notches in her belt for shooting Nazis. They don’t make them like that anymore. Oscar Schindler’s great nephew has sent a condolence letter, and Josh’s husband has had it framed. Very impressive.

David and James are two guys who look like brothers (they’re best friends since the beginning of time) and, like Simon McCord from The Real Housewives of NYC, would be great candidates for Graham Norton’s Gay or Eurotrash? game (Eurotrash). They’re having an open house designed after Burning Man. Although that’s another reason these guys deserve the bucks they get. The expense of staging houses and having parties to show them comes out of their pockets, and it can get very pricey.

Commercial break. Crimson Peak looks like an absolutely incredible film, but now that the price of movie tickets is close to that of a small car (thank goodness for the dollar store, or I’d have to take out a second mortgage to get snacks), I’ve gotten really picky. I hate when you see the best part of the film in the trailer and you spend the rest of the film wondering why you just threw your money in the toilet. This one looks promising though. And I can’t wait for Quentin Tarantino’s Hateful Eight to open on Christmas. I saw Django Unchained on Christmas, thinking there would be no one at the theatre. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! I was lucky I got a seat.

Houdini Josh A. has worked some miracle and sold the loathsome client’s house at the price he wanted. He outmaneuvered the slick investor he was working with. It is kind of fun watching the way these guys work.

James David (seriously, they look alike) is showing another broker a house for their client. The seller is supposed to be away, but the locks have been changed, there are cars in the driveway, and there’s a Rottweiler barking on the other side of the fence. Nice.

Sep18

September 17, 2015 — GH & 100 New York Wives

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

I had an appointment – ok, I went to lunch with a karaoke friend – so I DVR’d it. Glad to see the hospital machines attached to Sonny are in working order now.  Carly was getting dangerously close to one of those tubes though, when she was petting his face.

Morgan is going apesh*t on TJ, grilling him about who Charlie’s boss is, and generally acting crazy. He doesn’t know. Accept it.

Lots of tension at the police station with the Dante/Valerie tryst, but no real moving forward with the storyline. I can’t wait!

Sonny’s daughter, Kristina, arrives on the scene at Alexis’s place. I’ve given up trying to keep whose kids are whose at this point. There are so many baby daddies and mamas, I need a scorecard.

Scotty has blackmailed Ava out of 5 million, in exchange for the flash drive that holds her confession to Connie Falconeri’s murder. Since this evidence has “disappeared,” Ava is a free woman. For now.

Julian is still swearing he’s innocent and more mushy stuff with Carly and Sonny, and Kristina and Sonny in the hospital.

The ending wasn’t bad though. Just when I thought it was nearly a total loss and I shouldn’t have bothered, Scotty and Ava arrive at his place to find it tossed. And no doubt the flash drive is gone. Morgan is also on his way to Julian’s with a gun.

The Real Housewives of NYC: 100th Episode Special

Eight years? Has it really been eight years? Only the OC Wives had been aired when NYC began, making them the beginning of the franchise. It was originally going to be called Manhattan Moms, but they don’t really explain why it was changed. I just can’t imagine it being called that.

In the first minute, this is already fun because they’re showing some clips from the Wives’ audition tapes, interspersed with individual interviews with Andy at the clubhouse. Right away, I miss Alex and Simon. And I don’t miss Jill Zarin, who declined to take part in this show. Because, you know, she is the be all and end all, and can’t believe it’s continued without her. You got fired. Get over it.

Ramona goes on once again about how weird she thought Alex and Simon were, especially since they never wanted to go out apart. Um…who’s still married? I know, I know, I’m being mean, but I’m not too fond of Ramona, who, despite her “new beginnings,” needs to get her nose out of the air. Ramona admits to not being welcoming to Alex and Simon because she felt they were co-dependent and didn’t like it. How mature of her. Simon always reminded me of someone they’d pick to be a contestant on Graham Norton’s made-up game, Gay or Eurotrash? Ramona had a lot of tense moments involving those two. And I think she’s weirder than the both of them put together.

There are some clips from the various trips they’ve taken, and I’m with the Countess, my favorite being their trip to Morocco. The markets look fabulous, and of course there was that bucking camel who almost threw the Countess. It’s interesting to see how the Countess has changed over the years. We’ve gone from “introduce me as Mrs. de Lesseps” to “don’t be all uncool.” In her underwear. Bethenny says she didn’t even know what a countess was before meeting the Countess.  To be honest, I don’t know all the particulars either, but my husband is a marquis and I can tell you that the title and three bucks will get you on the subway in NYC.

Interesting how some watched the OC show prior to being on the NYC one, but others didn’t. I’m not sure if I would or not. It’s almost like deciding if you should read the book before you do the movie. Almost.

Ha-ha! Bethenny says Jill can smell D-list fame like a dog smelling steak. I’ll bet Aviva can too.

Alex and Simon were nothing compared to Kelly, who didn’t even seem to exist on the same planet as the rest of us. Confusing Al Sharpton with Jack Nicholson is pretty out there. And today she blames the other women for an unmarketable time period after the show was aired. Like her behavior had nothing to do with it.

Oh yeah, here comes One Season Cindy. Remember her? Me neither. Heather says her first day of shooting was like the first day of summer camp. What kind of camp did she go to? Was this in the Berkshires?

The whole Jill/Bethenny feud – if that’s what you want to call it – was kind of sad. It seems that Jill thought of them as some kind of team, and when Bethenny’s career took off without her, she got mean. (Ooh, that almost rhymed.) Bethenny tells Andy that it’s not like she was in a girl band. Apparently, after that season ended, Bethenny thought all was well, but Jill waited until the cameras were rolling again to create a scene. She wanted to make Bethenny look bad, but it backfired, and she got fired. Bethenny says that Jill did indeed help to get her on the show, she became the most successful of the Wives, and Jill could have been along for the ride with her, but “pigs get fat; hogs get slaughtered.” In other words, she wanted it all, but ended up with nothing.

One of the greatest moments in Housewives history was when Aviva threw her artificial leg on the table at La Cirque, stating that it was the only fake thing about her. She tells Andy he’s welcome, and admits to having planned it. Um, we figured that out pretty quickly, since one of those isn’t removed in 5 seconds. Let’s hope not anyway. She says “somebody had to put their foot down.” What a card! When asked for her reaction to the leg incident, the Countess says her first thought was that there’s a dirty shoe near the silverware. I can’t say that I wouldn’t have thought the same. Bethenny also talks about how Aviva was concerned she might not make it onto the show, but Bethenny reassured her that anyone who’d slept with two of the Wives exes and had one leg would be a shoo-in. I’m a card too.

Another great shining Aviva moment. When she declared that Truman Capote was the ghostwriter for To Kill a Mockingbird. Enough said about Aviva.

Oh yeah, I’d forgotten about how, during the first reunion, it was brought up that Alex had posed nude and Ramona left the stage. (BTW, nice crotch shot as she was getting up – what a lady! I hadn’t noticed that before.) This was a seriously ridiculous moment. And it wasn’t even like she posed for Hustler or something. They were art photos. Ramona is bizarrely hypocritical.

Aww! Bethenny is getting all weepy and thanking Andy for the opportunity to influence other women.

Watch What Happens Live Special: Top 10 NYC Moments

Andy shows a “Housewives Playhouse” clip with Bill Hader, Amy Schumer & Judd Apatow reenacting the scene in Turks and Caicos where the Countess offers eggs a la Francaise as a cure all for everything. Judd is playing the Countess like she’s Al Bundy. I have the feeling he’s never seen the show. Bill Hader says he doesn’t even know who his character is, but is still better than Judd. Amy, of course, is admittedly the biggest Wives fan on the planet.

We’re treated to Sonja’s first caberlesque. She really is in amazing shape. We’re also shown clips of the Ramonacoaster and Sonja’s advice. There’s a Halloweave special that I don’t remember. How could I not remember this? Simon sings I’m Real, one of the many Housewives musical efforts, except he’s not a housewife and can’t carry a tune in a bushel basket. Not that it’s ever stopped anyone else.

The Countess singing is the number one moment? Really? Okay, maybe. It was certainly the most lively moment out of what we were given. I guess Andy picked these?

I wish Andy would have another New Year’s Eve party. Like the one and only he had where Giggy married Grandma Wrinkles. It was one of the best New Year’s Eves I ever had. And yes, I know how sad that sounds.

And, as always, we’re left with the eternal question…

WHAT’RE YOU DOIN’ HERE WITHOUT DORINDA?

Sep4

September 3, 2015 — GH & Some Lost Secrets

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

Adding “the shipments” to the list of generic terms the PC mob uses. I’ll bet they’re secretly selling Amway. For the love of God, someone please say the name of the kid-whose-name-I-can-never-remember. I finally got the names down on MasterChef though Major points for me!

WHAT HAPPENED TO SLOANE??? That’s not Sloan. Who is that guy and what happened to the handsome one? All right, I’ll take the buzzcut, just bring him back. This guy reminds me of Beau Bridges. (No offense to Beau, but he just ain’t the other Sloane.) Seeing Sloane’s lovesickness over Anna has given me the earworm of Meatloaf’s “I Would Do Anything For Love,” except Sloan would do that too.

Somebody Morgan’s age (TJ! It’s TJ! That’s his name!) shouldn’t have that bad of a hangover. Geez, where are the days when young people went straight to brunch? If he keeps going the way he’s going, I might actually start liking Sonny. I even stopped watching GH for a while when it became The Sonny Show. While I love the spy stuff – ah, the days of the Ice Princess, the Wellington Dog, and Casey the alien (yeah, I know, I’m the only one who liked that storyline, but, Brad Lockerman) – I’ve always felt that if I want to watch mob doings, I’ll watch Goodfellas.

Is it me, or did Hayden’s hair color change when she was unconscious for so long in the hospital? Those crazy nurses!

Question. If Jublia is so great, how come the foot playing tennis still has fungus on its toes at the end of the match? The ridiculous things that bother me…

The Real Housewives of New York: Secrets Revealed

I love how they come up with new ways to milk the season. Secrets Revealed is the new Lost Footage. I’m glad they changed the title because “lost footage” seriously insults my intelligence. I have this mental picture of Andy Cohen hiding film clips in his desk until the season is over. Oddly enough, we often get some of the best footage out of the extra episodes. New earworm: “Save the Best for Last.”

Maybe there is hope. Bethenny is talking about how she was practically living on the street 6 or 7 years ago, and now she’s a skabillionaire. Although I don’t exactly have her energy.  Dorinda found an old love letter email from her late husband, Richard, that he wrote while she was sleeping. He talks about wanting to wake her, but they have plenty of years for that. Tears in everyone’s eyes, including mine.

OMG. Heather actually stopped in the middle of what she was saying and said she didn’t really care, it was basically too stupid a topic to continue with. That reminded me of the time when I was taking a musical comedy class. (You could really sing anything; it didn’t have to be from a musical.) This girl stopped in the middle of her song and said she never realized how idiotic the lyrics were, and sat down.

Sonja was defensive and needy? Has there been a time when she wasn’t? BTW, for all Sonja’s yapping about how the ladies talk about her, she sure had a lot to say about Kristen’s husband being caught up in that Ashley Madison business. My love for Sonja has waned this season. I don’t know if it’s too much drinking or what, but she seemed more unhinged than eccentric. Ow! That was my reaction to the knife in my heart when Kristen talked about breaking out her wedding dress for her 10th anniversary. Kristen seems surprised her wedding dress still fits. Really? She doesn’t look like she has an ounce of body fat. She couldn’t possibly have been thinner 10 years ago. Carole tries on the dress too. That seems kind of weird to me. I understand wanting to try them on at a store, even if you’re not the one getting married, but not somebody’s already-been-worn dress.

Ha-ha! Ramona just called Heather and Carole “Harold.” Ugh! I hate when Ramona gets all huggy/clingy. It usually happens after she’s done something awful and wants forgiveness. She makes me think of a sloth clinging to a tree. Or worse, a spider wrapping web material around a fly.

WHAT’RE YA DOIN’ HERE WITHOUT DORINDA?!

Aug27

August 26, 2015 — GH, LA & Too Many Cooks Spoiling the Pasta

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

The Haves & the Have Nots

For some reason, I thought yesterday was Monday and forgot to watch it. Once again, those reruns came in handy.

I love me some Tyler Perry drama! I’ve always been a fan of him as a person, but sitcoms and Medea just aren’t my thing. When he created this show, I could tell by the previews it was up my alley. If you like the old nighttime dramas like Dallas and Dynasty, and you’re not watching this (and its counterpart, If Loving You is Wrong) you’re missing out. It’s basically about a rich guy named Jim Cryer (John Schneider, a long way from Dukes of Hazzard) who is running for governor, and trying to run away from his problems. The show hit the ground running, with married Jim being blackmailed by escort Candace, who is also the daughter of one of his maids, Hanna, and friends with his own daughter. Hilarity intense drama ensues.

My favorite character is Veronica, the wife of Jim’s business partner, David, who’s also involved in Jim’s campaign. And she ain’t like Archie’s Veronica. She’s probably about the most evil character in a soap ever. And Angela Robinson plays the hell out of the part. Veronica is under the misconceived impression that she can force her gay son to be straight, but since ruining his life isn’t enough, she ends up burning down the house with David in it. I told you this was a fun show!

This week, while Jim is being interviewed live on television, he’s hit with the bombshell that one of the other maids, Celine, has had two sons by him. DUN-DUN-DUUUN!!!

General Hospital

Oooh, first commercial is for Oreo Thins. I seriously want to try those.

Morgan needs to confess to something soon before he gives himself a heart attack. Besides, going to jail isn’t too bad in Port Charles. Pretty soon, the guards will be taking McDonald’s orders from the prisoners. And here comes Sonny – known mob boss – allowed to visit whoever he pleases, unattended. While I’ve never been in jail, I don’t think it works that way. I am so glad that it’s finally dawning on Nina that she only hears that baby crying when Rick the weasel or Madelyn are around. That’s been bugging me for a while. Where’s that cry coming from? Oh, your phone. Case closed.

I understand that it’s just a show, but they could try just a little bit to make it believable. I can’t wait for them to drag Rick and Madelyn off to the country club jail.

I’m not sure what Kiki (or Ava) see in that cranky Morgan anyway, especially since he got that haircut. That’s when I remember who Kiki is. Why they had to make her so blond after Kristen Alderson left is beyond me. Like that whole character switcheroo thing wasn’t difficult enough. I’d just finally stopped thinking Kiki was Starr. I did love her final scene with Roger Howarth though. She pretty much grew up with him as her second father, so it must have been heart-wrenching for both of them. It was sweet how the dialogue wasn’t just about Franco and Kiki, but about the real actors.

Nathan, I don’t think Dante is the best guy to be helping you solve anything. His decision making skills have been pretty poor lately.

Oh, that’s a good one Sonny. You always put your children first? When did that happen?

MasterChef

Let me confess now. I hate to cook, but I love watching cooking shows. It’s not that I’m a bad cook – ask anyone who’s had my lasagna – and it’s not that I can’t be creative in the kitchen – ditto – but I’m an impatient cook (when I want to eat, I want to eat now, not 2 hours from now) who’s always had a kitchen the size of a postage stamp. Other than a one semester home ec class in 8th grade, I’m fairly uneducated in this department as well. When Gordon Ramsey says, “You tell me,” I have no clue. As we always say, my husband didn’t marry me for my cooking in the kitchen. For some reason though, I like to watch other people cook. And of course there’s the food porn aspect.

I’m not sure what’s up with risotto, but it seems to be very telling as far as cooking goes. I can’t count the times I’ve heard Gordon go insane about it.

I stink with names, so I’m glad the contestants have theirs on their aprons. I wish Survivor would do the same. As a matter-of-fact, I wish everyone would go around wearing name tags. It would make life far less embarrassing for me.

If tuna tartar is involved, I’m in. I never said my palate was uneducated.

It’s a blue team (Derrick)/red team (Stephen) thing tonight. The red team wins, so Derrick, Katrina and Hetel have to face tonight’s pressure test – 3 pasta dishes in one hour. “Impossible,” says Nick. The dishes are manicotti, scallops and clams with pasta, and egg yolk ravioli, which I’ve never heard of, but sounds really good.

OMG – one of the clams just moved! I’ve cooked them several times, but thank God they’ve stayed still. I admit to being squeamish about certain food items. One time, I bought what I thought was a nice square of frozen fish. The instructions said to soak it in water before cooking. When I did, the tail that had been heretofore stuck hidden to the underside, unfurled. I had to throw it out.

Katrina is “sweating biscuits?” Did I hear that right? At least she lost the hair bow this week. Today she has some sparkly thing on her head.

Why is the guy on the Bud Lite commercial trying to channel Will Ferrell? Was Will not available?

I love how Graham Elliot holds the scallop up like it’s a diamond.  Ooh, Gordon just said Derrick’s garnish was like eating an air freshener. Not exactly a compliment. Katrina put ricotta in the ravioli and apparently this is a really bad thing. Hetel’s ravioli looks good to me, and ground pepper always gets my vote, but Gordon said it was “heresy.” No one is looking good here. Hetel’s out. She kind of flew under the radar anyway. Being a vegetarian, it was rough for her. I don’t know how you can cook something without tasting it at some point either. Although it’s to her credit that she’s gotten this far.

Geez, could they spare the vegetables in the spring onion rice noodle soup bowl I’m having for dinner?

Little Women LA

Brittney has a new boyfriend and Tonya’s talking about moving in with her boyfriend, John, and is also wearing some amazing earrings. Too bad John doesn’t exactly feel the same way. He’s obviously not the husband material you want, Tonya. Move on. Ha-ha! Terra is talking about how nice it would be if everyone got along. This is reality TV, so not bloody likely. Lots of goings on in the romance department tonight. Briana’s boyfriend, Matt, is moving in with her. This dude has been a bone of contention since he came on the scene – with both her family and her friends. My jury is out about him. I’m hearing the same stories they are, but so far he’s been on good behavior.

Ugh! What a shame that Christy allowed her mother to influence her decision about the IVF. I’m not saying she should or shouldn’t do it, but it’s obvious that mean old woman was huge factor here. The ending is happy though. Christy and Todd make the decision to go for artificial insemination while picking strawberries next to a field of sunflowers. Nice!

Beach party! Elena is so gorgeous, I can never take my eyes off of her when she’s on screen. She’s also insecure about her appearance, so what hope is there for the rest of us? The last time they had a bonfire on the beach, the outcome was not positive. Already there’s tension between Elena and Brittney, and Tonya and Jasmine, and Matt and everyone. Same sh*t, different day. Time to roast marshmallows.

“Short arms, short sticks, someone’s weave is definitely going up in flames tonight. I’m glad I’m no longer packing.” Terra cracks me up!

Brittney’s sparkly purple eye shadow is really distracting!

Ha! For a moment there, I thought we were ending on a good note. Brittney confessed to being an idiot and Elena was okay with it. But Jasmine brings up the “other elephant in the room,” Tonya. Wait, that didn’t sound right. She wants to know what the blip Tonya’s annoyed about (and so do I), but instead it ends up being a rehash of the last argument about the same vague thing. That didn’t even make sense to me and I wrote it.

Terra’s Little Family

Someone please explain why, instead of an hour long episode, Lifetime decided to show two back-to-back half hour episodes? Anybody? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

I would laugh uncontrollably at Terra’s hair the morning after her bachelorette party, but I’m sure mine looks no better the morning after the night before.  Terra is going to check out the bridesmaids’ dresses for the first time, their only instructions having been to get beige dresses and cobalt blue shoes, which looks better than it sounds. Not an easy task to critique their choices with a hangover though. Elena says it will be like “50 shades of beige.”

Joe had to jet the day before for a gig (he’s a drummer) and missed the rehearsal, but swore he’d be back in time for the pre-wedding dinner. No surprise his plane is late. If this was Bravo, I’d say Andy Cohen probably threw his body in front of the plane.  Her mom still hasn’t gotten there either.

Whew! They both make it and the yacht sets sail for the dinner. Interesting note: Terra’s mom is one of those crazy cat ladies that you always hear about. She’s like an old hippie and really cool. Unlike Christy’s mom.

The earrings on this show are just fabulous!

Terra says Joe is like her missing puzzle piece. So much better than “you complete me” or “my soulmate.” These two are just precious!  We’re on shaky ground by the end of the episode, with Terra being a bit of a Bridezilla to Joe, but I have no doubt they’ll make up since they’re both at the wedding in the previews.