Tag Archives: Andy Cohen

May25

May 24, 2017 – Don’t Touch the Chimera, NYC Returns to the Berkshires & Two Times the Andy

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Sonny arrives at the Nurses Ball, and Ava wants to jet. He asks why she’s leaving when the party just started.

Lulu asks Josslyn if she’s nervous. She says she is, but keeps reminding herself it’s for a worthy cause. She thought that Carly had said Sonny wasn’t coming, and Carly says he must have changed his mind.

Jason finds the chimera necklace on the floor. Anna accosts Valentin about the Chimera Project. He sees Nina hug Curtis.

Charlotte asks if the Chimera martini shaker is part of the act. and what does it do?  Jake says it’s powerful magic. He tells Charlotte that it’s a surprise, and not to touch it.

In the hospital, Nelle stirs. Kiki asks if she needs anything. Barely conscious, Nelle says, Michael.

Sonny says he has a problem with everything Ava does, and a big one with what she did to Morgan. Scotty comes to her rescue, and escorts her back to the table. Dante asks Sonny what that was about.

Lulu tells Laura that Charlotte is going to be one of Jake’s assistants.

Vaelentin tells Anna that the Chimera is gathering dust where it’s not a threat. Anna, on the other hand, has been one to his marriage and his life. He slides into the seat next to Nina while Lucy talks.

Sam asks Jason what’s wrong, and he shows her the necklace.

Lucy asks if we’re ready for female trouble with a capital T. Emma, Valerie, Amy 2.0 and Kristina perform Brave. Emma is quite a young lady now. I can’t help wondering when they all practiced, especially Emma. It’s a hit. Lucy encourages everyone to bid in the silent auction.

Bobbie sits at Carly’s table. She’s surprised about Sonny showing up, but Carly says the cause is important to him.

Sonny tells Dante that Morgan is gone, and Ava is trading on his name to make herself look good.

Kiki calls Michael. She says she needs to talk to his grandmother. Nelle is doing okay, but could use a friend.

Jason asks Sam if she really thinks it’s a coincidence. Sam wonders if Jake brought it, and Jason says, who else? Who else, indeed. Like any one of five people.

Emma and Charlotte wonder how they can assist, when they can’t even touch the magic trick. Jake says no one else knows how the magic works – only him.

Anna calls Robert, and tells him how proud she is of Emma. She’s not calling about that though. She asks what the Chimera actually does. After he tells her (we don’t hear it), she wonders how it ever got created in the first place.

Valentin asks if Nina is going to ignore him. Curtis thinks he should go back to his own table. Valentin says not without his wife, and begs Nina not to shut him out.

Anna approaches Andre. He says he’s having a good time, and wants to keep it that way. She explains that the person who offended him was her sister.

Nina tells Valentin that she has nothing to say. Valentin says she’s right, the time for talking is over. He gets up.

Valentin goes to Lucy’s dressing room. She says she’s happy about his donation, but it doesn’t cancel out that he shot Doc. He says he wants to up his donation to seven figures. Lucy asks him in exchange for what?

Sonny isn’t going to stop until he finds out how Morgan died. Dante says they know. Sonny says explain the pills then, and tells him about the dosage difference. He says Andre checked with the pharmacy, and Morgan was given the correct dosage. He’s going to find out what happened. Meanwhile, Andre calls the lab.

Valerie forgot her lipstick, and Kristina gives her a commercial for Burt’s Bees. Valerie says it’s perfect, and Kristina says it moisturizes as well. It is nice stuff.

Jason asks Elizabeth where Jake is. He shows her the necklace. Elizabeth wonders if someone gave it to him. No, he bought it himself. Geez. Jake asks what’s going on, and if they’re talking about him.

Valerie asks Jordan and Curtis if they’re enjoying the night, and Jordan compliments her on her performance. When she’s gone, Curtis tells Jordan that’s one way to show you’ve moved on. He tells Nina he hopes she took notes, because she needs to move on from Valentin. She’s not sure she wants to.

Lucy says Obrecht is unable to perform. We hear something that sounds like a bunch of pots and pans clattering backstage. She says they have someone just as rich…er, good. Valentin says this is for his wife, because he loves her. He sits at the piano. She’s mesmerized, and so am I. I can’t tell if it’s really him playing, but if not, they did a nice job with editing that. He sings Billy Joel’s And So It Goes. If Nina doesn’t want him, I’ll take him. Lucy introduces Valentin after the fact, and thanks him. Her dresses are fantastic – kind of nude, with lots of sparkles in strategic places. Now that song is going to be stuck in my head all day.

Anna leaves, and Nina tries to follow. Curtis stops her, and tells her not to do this to herself; it’s not worth it. Anna asks Valentin to tell her what she needs to know.

Lulu (whose dress matches Charlotte’s) asks if Charlotte isn’t going to get ready, but she doesn’t think there’s going to be an act. Jason asks Jake if he’s seen the necklace before. He asks if it’s Jake’s, but Jake doesn’t say anything. He tells Elizabeth that he doesn’t feel good. Elizabeth asks if he just has stage fright, and Franco offers to go on stage with him. Elizabeth tells him that he doesn’t have to do what he doesn’t want to.

Dante tells Sonny that he has to talk to Ava and Lucy again. Sonny asks why Dante didn’t tell him that Ava was at The Floating Rib the night of the robbery. Dante says it could be a coincidence.

Carly wonders where Michael is. Josslyn tells her that Michael said something came up, and left. She jets before Carly can ask what came up.

Michael is at the hospital. Kiki tells him that Nelle asked for him. He pulls a chair next to her bed.

Dante says that when Ava’s name is mentioned, Sonny gets reckless. He suggests that Sonny and Ava stay away from each other. Sonny tells Dante he’ll be fine, and Lulu is probably wondering what happened to him. Dante goes back to his table, and Andre tells Sonny that there’s trace evidence of an inert substance in the pill bottle. It’s possible that the crumbled pill was a placebo. We won’t go over all the reasons that’s not how any of this works.

Valentin tells Anna, don’t. He says she and her sister have jeopardized everything he loves. Even worse, he let her, reverting back to what he was, a stuttering Richard III hunchback. He says the only things that matter are his wife and daughter, and if he ever mattered to her, let him alone.

Jake asks if Elizabeth is sure that he doesn’t have to perform; what I something bad happens? Elizabeth says the worst that can happen is they leave early, and everyone is cool with that. Jake is like, okay, no magic show.

Carly wonders what Sonny is doing there, and what he wanted with Ava. I’m totally distracted by Ava’s earrings; I want them so much.

Sonny says, Morgan was taking a placebo? and Andre says that would explain things. Sonny says someone set him up, tampering with his medication so he’d have a breakdown. And he’s going to find out who.

Ava is worried, but Scotty says he covered her tracks. No way is Sonny finding out.

Lucy says it’s a special thrill to introduce a newcomer.

Michael’s phone rings. He asks if it’s time. Josslyn asks why he thought it was a good idea. He tells her that his little sister is a rock star, and he wants everyone to know. He says he’s with her, and so is Nelle.

Lucy introduces Josslyn. Michael puts the phone on speaker. I don’t know the song (and couldn’t find it on Google), but the crowd goes wild. Sonny and Carly give each other a soap opera stare.

Franco says maybe Jake could perform at home. Elizabeth asks where the magic box is.

Charlotte says perhaps she and Emma can do the magic act. They open the box. She says they’ll start with the Chimera martini shaker.

Jason tells Sam that he didn’t like Jake’s reaction to the necklace. Sam wants to go home, but tells him to stay. Griff comes by, and asks if he’s seen Emma. He asks what Jason is doing with Anna’s necklace.

Anna says she understands that Valentin wants to leave past behind, but they’re jeopardizing the people they love. He tells her that the only person who knows about it, is dead. She asks who it is, and he says he sold it to Helena. Like this is a huge surprise.

Charlotte doesn’t know how to open the Chimera. She presses a button on it, and blue lights start flashing.

Nelle says that Michael missed Josslyn’s performance, but he says he just listened to it. He tells her that Josslyn backed him up in coming there.

Ava tells Scotty that she never meant for anything bad to happen; she just did it to protect Kiki. Scotty says doesn’t matter. Morgan is dead. Case closed.

Carly asks Sonny why he’s there. He tells her that he finally has answers about Morgan.

Tomorrow, more Nurses Ball, Valentin asks Lulu if there’s a problem, Scotty says Ava has to get out, Anna calls Robert, and Jake tries to stop the Chimera. I’m guessing that Obrecht is going to free herself from whatever closet Lucy and Valentin trapped her in, and it’s going to go off during her performance. Along with Lucy’s clothes coming off.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Ramona is downtown. Carole’s kittens hang from the curtains. Dorinda is packing for the Berkshires.

Bethenny meets with her real estate guy, Frederik Eklund. (Million Dollar Listing: New York premieres tomorrow.) He’s checking out the apartment that she’s getting ready to sell, and she says it’s bittersweet. Frederik lusts after her shoe collection. Me too. And the humongous closet the shoes are in. Frederick tells her they need to de-clutter de-personalize.

Ramona drops by Carole’s place. She starts moving things around on the coffee table, and critiquing Carole’s way of placing things. I’d smack her. They talk about Dorinda’s party, and Luann’s upcoming wedding. Carole says Tom acts more like the bride than Luann.

While walking the dog, Tom and Luann discuss a honeymoon. She suggests South Africa. In her interview, Luann says she loves being married. She’s trying to get used to saying “our” again. Tom complains about gaining weight.

Carole tells Ramona that she thinks Luann is having second thoughts. She says that someone told her that all is not as it seems. We revisit the scene where Barbara is telling Carole that she thinks Luann would rather go through with it and get divorced later. Which, btw, Barbara is seriously miffed about, since she claims she didn’t know it would be on the show. Please. Barbara must be a full-blown idiot. Carole says maybe Luann is just having last minute jitters, but thinks the conversation should be had. Ramona says that she got a text from someone who used to date Tom, and he recently tried to be sexually aggressive with her. She called Tom a “dirty dog,” and said she didn’t think she was the only one he’s groping. Carole wonders if Luann cares. Ramona asks if they’re bad friends if they don’t tell her – or if they do tell her. She reminds Carole about what happened in Miami. We flash back to that, and she says it’s not just one kiss. Carole says maybe Luann is confiding in Dorinda, and Ramona thinks they should talk to her.

It’s Christmas in the Berkshires again. Dorinda messes with some giant balls (hush) that light up. We flash back to the last holiday dinner there, when Dorinda made it nice. She’s going to be more strategic this time, and invite the women in different groups over the course of three days. And yes, Sonja is invited this year.

Sonja thinks she’s cool because she’s in the first group and “invited early.” She arrives with Ramona. Tinsley is also coming after meeting her mother for lunch.

Tinsley’s mother asks if she’s happy in NYC. She’s brought Tinsley’s father’s ashes because she’s taking them to Florida, and Tinsley might want to say good-by. I would have hoped Tinsley had done that already, since he’s been gone for two years. Tinsley gets a drink from the mini-bar. She talks about her mother’s hugs being relative to her weight as a child, and in her interview, says that Southern mothers are particularly critical of their children. They talk about Sonja. Tinsley’s mother hopes Tinsley is appreciative, since Tinsley is sponging off of her.

Sonja complains about Tinsley not making coffee and excluding her when she goes out. Dorinda says she knows a lot about Tinsley’s past, but not who she is today. She thinks Tinsley needs to open up, and hopes over time that she trusts them more.

Tinsley’s mom wants her to have a baby, but Tinsley says she’s not just going to pluck some random guy out. They talk about Tinsley’s dating life.

Dorinda wants the girls to help decorate. She takes her tree seriously, and says it’s a religion. She gives detailed instructions on how the lights should be placed.

Adam’s parents, David and Lola, are in town, and Carole is accompanying them to find Christmas presents for Adam. In her interview, Carole says it didn’t take her two minutes to win Lola over, and parents love her. She says they want grandkids, and Adam wants kids, but she’s not going to be the one having them, since she’s 200 years old. She says what it means for the relationship is still to be determined. David acts exhausted, even though he hasn’t done anything except go along for the ride.

Tinsley gets to the Berkshires. In her interview, she says her mother told her you can never have enough Christmas decorations, but she thinks Dorinda is secretly Mrs. Claus. She does have a lot of them. Sonja picks on Tinsley for having lunch elsewhere. Tinsley keeps explaining that it was her mother.

It’s Dorinda’s birthday. She wants to show Tinsley her cake, but even though it says, “open here,” it’s the wrong side, and the cake has toppled. Dorinda says, enough wine, and the cake will be beautiful. Amen, sister!

Bethenny tells the driver no hookers, because they might have to peel out at midnight. She and Carole act like five-year-olds walking in, but Carole says she thinks the third time is the charm. Dennis has sent Bethenny flowers at Dorinda’s because he knows she needs floral therapy in the Berkshires. She’s just hoping Ramona leaves her alone.

Carole talks to Bethenny alone about Luann. Bethenny wonders if there’s any way they can get her out of it. Luann obviously doesn’t care or doesn’t want to know, so I’m not sure why these women keep wanting to get involved. Unless Andy Cohen is standing there with a pitchfork. I used to think Jeff Probst was the antichrist until Andy came along.

Bethenny says it was reliable information last year, and the same source has it that Tom is straying again. Carole says Bethenny is like the cautionary tale for a whirlwind romance. Bethenny agrees, but says hers wasn’t as bad at this point in time. Bethenny wants to be on a group tag team to tell Luann, as she was on her own in Miami.

Omg, Dorinda has a fat little dog named Lucy who is just precious. The ladies mess with the fireplace, and try to burn down Dorinda’s house by not opening the flue. They sit down for drinks, and Dorinda says that Luann is rock solid about getting married. Carole says she’s heard differently. Ramona says she doesn’t want Luann to be the last to know. In her interview, Dorinda wishes they could talk about someone else. Ramona reads the texts she received. Dorinda hopes they’re taking it the wrong way. Bethenny says the cracks become craters. She says her situation didn’t even start the same way, and look how it ended up. In her interview, Dorinda says she doesn’t want to hear it, but now she’s obligated to say something, so Luann can either leave, stay, or shoot someone. She asks the other women to be with her because she’s afraid.

Dorinda thinks all she’ll get is anger, but Carole says she’s being a good friend. Luann arrives while the ladies are setting out the materials for cookie decorating. Bethenny asks about Luann’s dress, and if she’s all set. Luann talks to Tinsley about finding her own place. Tinsley says Sonja talks smack behind her back, and Luann says welcome to the club. Tinsley tells the ladies that she can’t even talk to Sonja’s assistant without it being a problem. Sonja says she can’t have him doing errands, and she has to treat him professionally. Tinsley claims that she only asked him once to take a package for her. Ramona tells her to face it, she can’t do anything right. Sonja makes up stupid scenarios that could have happened if her assistant dared open the door for Tinsley’s delivery. No way would I live with this woman. No wonder Tinsley ditches her.

Bethenny tells Carole that she’s glad Ramona is keeping her distance. She thinks everyone told Ramona how foolish she looked, and she’s trying to make up for it.

In private, Dorinda tells Luann the saga continues. She asks if Luann is happy, and if she believes Tom is done with other women. She tells Luann about the texts, and says she wanted to come to her directly. She asks if Luann trusts Tom. Luann says she trusts him 100%. She says they don’t check each other’s phones, and Dorinda admits to checking John’s phone, as well she should. Luann says she doesn’t care what anyone says. Dorinda tells her that as long as she doesn’t feel like she’s being pressured, it’s all good. In her interview, Dorinda says at the end of the day, it’s Luann that has to handle this. Luann wonders if the women don’t have anything better to do, and thinks they’re talking about her because they’re missing something in their own lives.

Luann tells Dorinda that Ramona has been calling Tom’s friends, trying to dig up dirt, and poof! Ramona appears.

Next time, two weeks until the wedding, Carole wonders why all these women want to kiss Tom, Bethenny refuses to make a toast, and Ramona and Bethenny have it out.

🎉 Tonight, Andy Cohen’s Then & Now covered 1990. George Michael’s Freedom video, supermodels, Vogue! The Fly Girls (whose inspiration was part hip-hop, part Ann Margaret), Nelson Mandela’s release, more realistic family sitcoms, Married with Children and Terry Rakolta, Twin Peaks, the first war live on TV (the Gulf War), Home Alone, and Sinead O’Connor shaving her head. The twist on this retrospective show, is that all of the main topics covered are tied to how they’ve influenced today. I like this show almost as much as CNN’s decades series. The biggest revelation this evening? RuPaul finds Ed O’Neill sexy.

🏖 Watch What Happens Live has been blessed with a few of the Beverly Hills Wives stopping by since they’re filming in LA this week. Lisa Vanderpump stopped by the other night with a batch of puppies and I almost passed out. Erika Jayne  dropped in tonight, and Kyle Richards also did a bit with Andy at the beginning of the show. Guest Bethenny Frankel was a hoot, spilling the tea where she could, and joining her, Eric Stonestreet was just delightful. James Kennedy (Vanderpump Rules) has been the house DJ, and Andy brought along the Gay Shark, who has acquired rainbow swim trunks for his trip to the West Coast. Tomorrow, Chelsea Handler is on. I’ll be watching, but she’s not a favorite of mine. I liked her original show when it first aired, but I saw her change over time, becoming more mean than funny. God forgive me, but I was glad when she cried over Hillary losing the election.

 

May18

May 17, 2017 – Anna Has a Twin, Dorinda Hosts an Event, OUAT News, 1985 & an Opinion

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Carly tells Bobbie no way. She’s not hiring Scotty. She’s not that desperate. She says she’ll go from suing for divorce to death row in no time. Bobbie tells her that he does know his way around a courtroom.

Martina shows up at Sonny’s to say good-by.

Griff tells Michael it’s a good thing he was there to tell them Nelle only had one kidney.

Dante arrives home to find Charlotte playing with Rocco. Lulu says life is full of happy, unexpected surprises. I wonder when I’ll get one of those.

Valentin tells Nina that he promised when they took him away in handcuffs that he’d be back, and he was. Now he promises to put things back together. Nina says, until Anna comes back, and he says she’s not coming back.

Anna begs Sister Caroline for help. Dr. Lancaster asks what’s going on; he heard voices. He wants to know if “Alex” regained consciousness. Caroline says it was only her voice he heard; she was trying to get Alex to relax, since her heart rate was up. The doctor says if she becomes agitated or regains consciousness, call him immediately. Caroline says she always follows his instructions to the letter. As she closes the door, she says, except now. She asks Anna what’s going on.

Nina tells Valentin that Anna is a lying bitch who played on his vulnerabilities, but it doesn’t change that he lied to her. He says he hates himself, and they can’t not fix this. He’ll get her to trust him again. Nina says she can’t. He says maybe it all came too easy after a lifetime of sitting on the sidelines. He was afraid it would get taken away. She says it doesn’t matter any more. He tells her that if she’s worried he and Charlotte are going to leave her, they’re not. They both love her, and he’s going to spend his life convincing her. She tells him not to worry about her; worry about Charlotte.

The kids go to brush their teeth, and Dante asks Lulu how they got a sleepover. Lulu says she’s not sure Valentin knows. Nelle went AWOL, and the school couldn’t reach him, so they contacted her. Dante says Nina was vocal about Lulu not getting extra time, but Lulu says they couldn’t get her either. She tells Dante she isn’t sure Nina is going to be in the picture much longer. She got the impression that the marriage is over.

Michael asks Griff how Nelle is doing, but he doesn’t know much yet.

Andre is on the phone at the bar. He asks when the pharmacist will return from his family emergency. His patient’s family is depending on his cooperation in this matter.

Martina going back to Atlanta. Mission not accomplished, and she sees no point staying. Sonny gives her a drink, and says happy landings. She says bumpy ride so far. She hates leaving it like this, and he asks if she’s going to miss him. She says she’ll miss finishing what she started; she had him. The initial report just scratched the surface of his colorful life. He toasts to her being off the case, and Martina adds, and Carly not being the wiser.

Carly can’t figure it out. She thinks the conflict of interest with Martina is a cover-up. Bobbie says Sonny’s holdings are complex. Carly says they were holding hands. Bobbie tells her to use her time to find a new lawyer. She knows Carly is overwhelmed, but the only way through it is to keep on moving or she’ll get stuck in bitterness and hatred. She tells Carly get off her butt, and stop raging about Sonny. She says to stop beating around bush and get a divorce.

Martina tells Sonny that he has a lovely home, and good luck holding onto it. He says he’s good at holding on to things. She supposes Ava is neutralized. She says both he and Carly seem to despise her equally, and Sonny calls Ava a vicious snake. Martina wonders why Ava wouldn’t still use the information about them against him, but Sonny says she’s found it’s better to work with him than against him. Martina says it’s too bad that he and Carly can’t come to the same understanding.

Bobbie asks Carly why she’s using the tactic of holding on to Sonny’s assets, and Carly brings up Jax getting deported. Bobbie asks if she’s the karma police, and Carly says he has to pay. Bobbie says that she deserves peace and happiness, and she’s not going to get that from hurting Sonny. In the long run, Sonny won’t be the one hurt. Bobbie talks about the kids and how it’s taking a toll on them. Carly says she doesn’t want them going through that pain, and Bobbie tells her to make a clean, quick break, and put it in the rearview mirror.

At the hospital. Michael asks if he can see Nelle. The nurse says she’s not awake. He says maybe she’ll wake up if she sees someone cares about her. The nurse tells him she has to check on lab results – wink-wink. He thanks her, and when she’s gone, goes in to see Nelle, who is all hooked up to tubes and machines.

Nina tells Valentin what happened with Charlotte. He asks why she didn’t take Charlotte back to Windemere, and she says it’s not her home anymore. He asks if she thought making her point was more important than Charlotte, and she says that she thought she shouldn’t get into a fight with Lulu. She says she loves Charlotte, and would never do anything to harm her. Valentin says no matter how long it takes, he’s going to put their lives back together. She tells him to think of his daughter.

Dante reads Ferdinand to the kids. That was one of my favorites as a child. He realizes that they fell asleep. He’s surprised Lulu still awake, and she says she wouldn’t miss it.

Sonny tells Martina that he’s not looking for a war. Martina says she hopes he doesn’t end up finding one, and that he has the most to lose. He asks if he should he give Carly everything that’s his. He says Martina doesn’t know him, but she says she knows the road he’s headed down. He could lose everything; not just money, but his family, well-being, and sense of self. She says high profile divorce cases can be devastating. He says he already has a lawyer, and she asks if he’s set on friends. He says he’s not into absent friends (a toast!), and she says she’s not gone yet. As her first act of friendship, she says she’s returning this. It’s his wedding ring.

Griff gets Nelle’s test results. Carly walks in, yapping on the phone. He asks if she’s looking for Michael, and she says no, why?

Michael is busy talking to Nelle. He tells her she’s safe and at GH, and he’s going to see that she has the best care. He tells her he’s leaving, but won’t be far.

Anna sits up. Caroline comes in. She says not to get up. Anna doesn’t know where she is. Caroline tells her that she’s at Merrick Clinic, and she’s been there for two months. Anna says she has a blood disease, and Caroline says they know; the doctor has given her phlebotomy treatments. Anna doesn’t understand why she’s being held captive, but Caroline tells her not to exert herself. Anna says that Alex is her twin; they’re not close, and lead separate lives. I guess so. And I also guess I’m wrong about who fake Anna is. Dammit! They sure pulled that rabbit out of a hat. Caroline is confused. Anna asks why she’d need to be sedated all the time, and asks if Alex had a blood disease. When Caroline says no, Anna tells her to look up Anna Devane on the internet, and come back with a phone.

Lulu tells Dante that Charlotte asked for Nina and Valentin, and she told her she’d see them tomorrow. Dante says he’s glad she’s happy, but he’s waiting for the other shoe to fall. Lulu wonders what would keep Valentin from picking up Charlotte. The doorbell rings, and Dante says maybe they’re about to find out. Come on. Everyone had to have laughed when they read that the first time. Yep. Valentin is there for his daughter.

Martina tells Sonny that she found the ring while she was packing. She asks why he didn’t toss it overboard, and suggests he was hoping someone would find it. So if he got it back, he’d have to think twice about the divorce.

Nelle wakes up. Michael says he’ll get the doctor, but Griff is there already, and asks to speak privately with Nelle. Outside the room, Michael sees Carly. She says Griff told her about Nelle. He says she’s in bad shape, but would be worse if he hadn’t found her. Although she wouldn’t even be there if he hadn’t left.

Andre makes Nina a root beer float at the bar. She talks about loving them as a child when her father made them, and how she wasn’t close to him. She says that Valentin is a devoted father, but tells Andre that she can’t talk to him about it, since Anna is at the root of their problems. She asks how Anna bamboozled a smart man like him. How does she get smart, intelligent men to fall all over themselves, when all that’s there is a self-serving bitch who breaks up families? Andre says there’s more to her. Nina says there’s less. Take away the accent and manners, and she’s a cold blooded snake. He says that’s not the Anna he knows, and Nina says maybe he doesn’t know her.

Caroline comes back, but didn’t bring a phone. She says the doctor must have mistaken Anna for her sister. Anna says she was at her sister’s flat and blacked out. She thinks Alex drugged her. She says she doesn’t need to be sedated 24/7. She has to get out, and Caroline has to help her.

Lulu tells Valentin to come in, as long as he can be civil. She explains that she was the only available parent, and Valentin asks why she didn’t take Charlotte home. Lulu says Nelle never showed up, and she wasn’t going to leave her with the servants. Valentin says he doesn’t know what happened, but he just wants his daughter. Lulu says now he knows how she feels.

Michael tells Carly what happened on the docks. She says none of this is his fault. He asks whose fault is it? Everyone was wrong, but the only one who seems to be paying for it is Nelle.

Griff asks Nelle what she remembers. She says she was on the dock waiting for the boat, some guy tried to mug her, and she fought back. It’s the last thing she recalls. He tells her about Michael finding her, and says her kidney was bruised. He asks if she wants to see Michael.

Sonny tells Martina that he didn’t want to wear his ring during a one-night stand; end of story. She says it’s not her job to help him salvage a relationship he doesn’t want to salvage. He says that Carly did the unforgivable, and he just wants it over. Martina suggests he start by getting rid of the ring. She starts to go, but he doesn’t want her to leave.

Andre tells Nina that Anna is a complicated woman with complicated past. Nina says Valentin is part of that past. Anna took advantage of it, and now Andre is defending her. Andre tells Nina that what she has with Valentin is greater than what he imagined he had with Anna. They’ve moved on to real drinks.

Lulu tells Valentin that this was traumatic for Charlotte. They calmed her down, fed her, and she forgot about it. Dante asks if he wants to wake her up after all that. Lulu says she’s informing the social worker if he does, and already told her about everyone disappearing.

Anna tries to get up, and Caroline tells her not to exert herself. Anna says she has to go, and Dr. Lancaster appears. He says, on the contrary, and insists she stay.

Sonny asks Martina to stay. She says that he called her a one-night stand. He says that they have another night, and she tells him that she’s just distraction from mess he’s in. He says they’re good to go. They enjoy each other’s company, and she hasn’t left yet. They have time for one more act of friendship. Martina says maybe more than one. I refrain from the jokes in my head.

Carly tells Michael that she wouldn’t wish this on Nelle ever. She says sometimes it’s easier to be angry than afraid. Griff comes out, and Michael asks to talk to Nelle, but Griff says she doesn’t want to see him. Good.

Nina tells Andre about the first night she met Valentin. He was charming and unexpected, and if she had to do it over again, she would. He says in shrink speak, that’s an important realization. Nina says now she’s sitting here nursing a broken heart, but she’d do it again; she was happy, and saw how full her life could be. She saw herself, and she likes herself. As badly as Valentin screwed up, he got her there, and that’s a good thing. She says she thinks he knows she’s the best thing ever happened. He’ll regret Anna, and so will she

Lulu tells Valentin that she did everything by the book. Valentin says she thought of everything. She says that’s what a responsible parent does; now it’s his turn. He says he’ll be back in the morning, and she says she hopes he likes pancakes. He leaves, and Dante tells Lulu that he’s impressed.

Andre tells Nina that going after Anna isn’t going to serve her. She says Valentin knows she’s been manipulating him, and he’s not going to let her get away with it. She has to go, and Andre leaves Anna a message to call him back; trouble is coming her way.

Dr. Lancaster says he’ll deal with Caroline later, but they need to get “Alex” back to sleep. When he bends toward the bed, Anna stabs him in the neck with a syringe. She says the Sister has to help her to get out.

Tomorrow, Brad talks to Laura, Hayden wonders if she’s ready for a baby, and Valentin asks Lulu what game she’s playing.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Luann makes wedding plans, and Dorinda makes plans for a charity event, as well as Hannah moving out. She wants to spend some time being on her own. Bethenny goes furniture shopping with her. Bethenny has found an enormous apartment in Soho (and enormous is not an exaggeration), but hasn’t decided what she’s doing with it yet. Must be nice.

Ramona is shopping with Avery, who tells her she overdoes her coolness, and it looks like she’s trying too hard. Thank you. She wonders what’s underneath the fight with Bethenny. Ramona tells Avery how she presented the subject, and Avery – who is more mature than her mother – says it sounded like an attack.

Luann has lunch with Sonja. She talks about the awkwardness between Ramona and Bethenny. Sonja says Ramona is confrontational, and two taboo subjects are Bethenny’s kids and her business.

Bethenny tells Dorinda that she’ll be cordial, but she has enough reasons and history to know it’s not working with her and Ramona.

Ramona meets Tinsley for drinks. Sonja joins them. Tinsley is on the prowl, but isn’t sure if they’ll be the best wingwomen. Ramona orders something very complicated that involves as many glasses as ingredients, and gives Tinsley tips about getting the attention of men in bars. Be a woman. There you go. Ramona bothers the workers in the kitchen, then asks for a big straw for her drink. They check out some guys who look like they’re twelve.

Tinsley calls Sonja over. In her interview, Sonja says if Tinsley wants marriage and children, she needs to stick with the plan, and she’s veered off the highway. Ramona chats up a 12-year-old, and promotes Tinsley. He says he’s twenty-something, but I don’t believe it. Tinsley says she’s never seen women move faster in her life. I have news for her. This dude is not interested in Ramona or Sonja. She decides to stay behind, and Sonja tells her that’s a big mistake. His name is Chad, and he tells her he’s twenty-three. She pretends to fall off her chair, and they kiss.

The next morning, Sonja complains that Tinsley killed off a cutting from her plant. Tinsley asks if Sonja has sweetener, and Sonja tells her to steal it from restaurants. She asks when Tinsley came home, and Tinsley says she wasn’t going home with someone she just met. Sonja explains how a girl sometimes has to blow off steam, but not to get involved if they’re not on the list.

Bethenny is doing work for Be Strong’s breakfast at the Rainbow Room. They’ve combined with Dress for Success, and help women in crisis. Dennis joins her. In her interview, she says he was a fan of hers long before there were any others. She never thought about him as a boyfriend, so it was a major surprise and very romantic. Carole arrives. I’m surprised she’s still breathing after the election. Bethenny gets up to speak, and gets choked up. In her interview, Carole talks about how suckerfish Jason Hoppy won’t let go. Bethenny tells the women about her own crisis, and how she’s been inspired by them.

Carole and Adam go inside fake rock climbing, along with their friend Nina. Carole says that she and Adam are similar in a lot of ways, but not this one. He’s very athletic, and she’s not. She says he does get her out and doing stuff she doesn’t normally do, and that’s fine – to a certain extent. She climbs two feet up and says she’s done. Just kidding, she went further than I would have. Heights aren’t exactly my thing.

Nina asks Carole about the apartment situation. She says Adam found a place, but all of a sudden, the woman isn’t moving out. It looks like she’ll be sparing space for a while. She says they love each other and are together, but she doesn’t feel like it’s that relationship, and it’s hard to have the conversation while they’re living together.

Tinsley meets Chad for a date. She says he’s a little young, but she wants to have some fun. They go bowling. I guess their idea of fun is different from mine. She says she does want to get married eventually, but right now she feels like she’s twenty. Chad gets asked for his ID when they order a drink. Ugh. And I’m surprised. The drinking age was 18 when I moved to NYC, and I was only carded once. It was at a liquor store, and even then, the clerk just asked me how old I was. The funny thing was that I’d just had a birthday and gave him the wrong age. Tinsley is an excellent bowler, and they find out they both live on the Upper East Side. In her interview, Tinsley says if she wants to bring him home, she’ll have to sneak him in. Why do they have to go to her place? Does he live with his parents? Or six roommates?

Ramona, and friends Missy and Eileen, go for drinks. Ramona isn’t sure what she wants ultimately, and says that she’s enjoying being single. A secret admirer buys Eileen a drink. Ramona complains that he didn’t buy a round for their table. That would certainly be more impressive, but it’s not a requirement. Especially since drinks are like twenty bucks in Manhattan. Ramona spills the beans on all the women’s dating habits, and talks about Luann’s pending marriage. Eileen says she’s the only one who didn’t date Tom. In her interview, Ramona says Missy knows a lot. Eileen says she admires Luann for going all in, but Ramona thinks she’s putting her head in the sand. Missy says she found out that she and Tom weren’t dating anymore when she walked in on him and Luann in a bar. She’d thought they were exclusive. Bleh. Ramona says they have to support each other as women. I do too, but I can live without Ramona’s kind of support.

Luann discusses her wedding makeup with the friend who’s doing it. The wedding planning is taking up all of her time. She says Ramona had a snarky comment about people taking bets about the wedding happening, but for the most part, everyone has been cool. Not like, uncool.

Dorinda is having a charity event for Women for Freedom, which fights human trafficking. She and Carole have come up with items for an auction, and she’s panicking that people won’t bid. She says if no one else does, she will. The other ladies begin to arrive. Tinsley thinks that Bethenny is hot and cold; sometimes she’s super chatty, but then she doesn’t even get a hello. Bethenny has never met Tom, which is a surprise to all of us.

Dorinda thanks everyone for coming. She says it’s the year of giving back and gratitude, and encourages everyone to bid. Bethenny does an imitation of Ramona for Carole that’s spot on. In her interview, Dorinda says one good thing about the event is that it’s big, so people can avoid each other.

Bethenny meets a guy named Milos who she thinks would be good for Sonja. In her interview, Tinsley wonders what’s up with Sonja. When they’re alone, she’s like a mother figure or mentor, but acts like Tinsley is an annoying little sister out in public. Can you say competition? Bethenny tells Sonja about Milos, but she thinks he’s girlfriended up. Bethenny says that he claims to be unattached. Tinsley thinks she might be interested, but it’s too late, Ramona is already there. Sonja says Ramona is flirting on her potential. Some anonymous guy stares at the camera and looks really stupid. Really stupid.

Bethenny says no matter what, homegirl is going down the aisle, but it’s awkward. Luann thanks Bethenny for sticking up for her with Ramona. She says she doesn’t need anything negative. Tom asks what Bethenny is doing for the holidays. In her interview, Luann tells us that Bethenny apologized to him for what went down in Miami, and Tom was gracious and brushed it off.

No one is bidding. Dorinda says to tell the bartender to cut off the drinks until people make the rounds of the items. Bethenny gets an idea for charity whores. They’re similar to the girls who flirt to get men to buy champagne at strip clubs, but they get them to bid on things. Luann starts with a Givenchy bag. She’s glad there’s Christmas cheer at this Christmas party. Unlike last year when Sonja went bonkers over not being invited to the Berkshires. Carole has a conversation with a woman named Barbara, and they believe that Luann would rather get married and divorced than call it off, even though Tom is still playing around. In her interview, Carole says Luann is the great pretender and doesn’t want to be seen faltering.

Next time, Frederick from Million Dollar Listing: New York looks at a property with Bethenny, Carole and Ramona discuss Tom, Dorinda’s cake falls over, and Dorinda asks Luann if she trusts Tom.

🎢 Tonight, Andy Cohen’s Then & Now covered 1985. While personally that was quite a year for me, it was also a HUGE year for pop culture. Omg. Madonna, Madonna marrying Sean Penn, Blockbuster Video (be kind and rewind!), Wrestlemania (RIP Rowdy Roddy Piper), Howard Stern, Live Aid, Tipper Gore and offensive lyrics, Bernie Goetz, MORGAN FAIRCHILD! I also enjoyed Dee Snyder doing some commentary. He’s a very smart dude. Oddly, they didn’t mention the year being reviewed next time, but it’s when George Michael came out, Married with Children was popular, and Sinead O’Connor shaved her head. This is a fun show, and the hour just flies by.

⛹ If you’re a man and thinking of wearing a RompHim, a term which Andy Cohen actually coined quite some time ago – no. Just no. I’m begging you. I’d rather see a man bun, and I don’t want to see one of those – ever. And if you’re a woman and thinking of wearing a romper, please look in the mirror before you leave the house.

⚔ Both the bad and good news is that Once Upon a Time is moving to Friday nights next season. It’s good because it competes with other shows I like on Sunday, and at 8 pm, it won’t be competing with Z Nation on Friday. At least as far as I know. The bad news is, Friday night is usually a death knell for a big three network show. A few of the cast members are also leaving. You can read about it here:

http://www.eonline.com/news/850516/once-upon-a-time-is-moving-to-a-new-night-after-cast-shake-up-in-abc-s-fall-2017-schedule

OUAT_2

May16

May 15, 2017 – Valentin is a Step Ahead, a Southern Quail Hunt & Some Tidbits

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

The DA tells Julian that he has an offer. If Julian plays his cards right, he can be a free man and be out within the hour.

Scotty sees Alexis at the courthouse, and asks if she’s there for Julian’s arraignment.

Jason gets home. He tells Sam that he was worried about Scout because of her texts, but Sam says it’s all good. She asks what happened on Cassadine Island, and he says Franco followed him.

Franco finds Elizabeth at the park with the kids. She asks where he’s been and what happened to his face. He says it’s the thanks he got for helping Jason. She asks if he went to the island, and he says he was pivotal in the trip’s success. He asks where Jake is. He’s busy playing with the Chimera Project. Don’t touch that, kid! You’ll blow us all up…or something.

“Anna” and Valentin go to her house. She breaks out the liquor. She says she’s glad he changed his mind about seeing her. He opens a bottle of wine. She says he’s a study in contradiction, and he says after all these years, she’s still a mystery, and it’s like he doesn’t know her. I’ll bet he does, and I’ll bet I do too. You know who she really is, right? Think, people!

In London, the real Anna wakes up. The nurse asks if she knows where she is.

Alexis tells Scotty she’s there to meet with the bar association. He says good luck with that; they probably aren’t happy with her going off with Julian of her own volition. She says all she did was tell the truth. Scotty says that Julian is still on the hook for Olivia-J’s crimes, and no one is going to get him off.

The DA tells Julian that he’s looking at quite a few life terms unless he chooses not to prosecute. He has a proposal.

Jason tells Sam tjay Franco is fine, but he had to hire a local to unshackle him – it’s a long story. He says Franco was helpful though. It turned out the scarecrow is Jason.

Franco explains to Elizabeth how he beat on Jason, so Jason could get his memory back. He says Jake witnessed Jason being shackled to a wall and beaten, and must have heard about Jason killing people. He asks how Jake is. Elizabeth says he seems fine, and was excited to get a birthday gift from Spencer. Elizabeth calls to Jake, and he closes the magician’s box quickly. She asks why he doesn’t want to play with his brother, and he says he doesn’t like soccer. Franco wants to take a look at the box, but Jake won’t let him.

“Anna” tells Valentin that there’s no mystery anymore. She knows what she did to him, and regrets it. She wants to reverse the events she set in motion. He says she might have wanted to discuss the Chimera Project, but he wanted to see her for other reasons. Nina left him because of her.

The nurse tells Anna that she’s Sister Caroline, and they’ve been caring for her at the clinic. Anna remembers herself saying that her name isn’t Alex; she’s Anna Devane.

Scotty wonders if Alexis thinks that she can get Julian a better defense than him. She says she doesn’t have time for this. He tells her that the state’s case is very strong. Olivia-J is locked away and can’t testify, so they’ll use the evidence against Julian.

The DA tells Julian that he can secure conviction, but Julian is just an accessory, and Olivia-J isn’t fit to stand trial. He says a conviction against Julian is nothing, but a conviction against Sonny is a feather in his cap. He didn’t actually use that term, but I like it. He says they’ll keep him under surveillance while he goads Sonny. When Sonny comes after him, they arrest Sonny. Everybody wins.

Jake tells Franco that the box is for magician’s eyes only. Franco says he’s right; a magician never reveals is tricks. Elizabeth suggests they get some food, and then Jake can practice his magic. Jake leaves the box behind.

Jason tells Sam about his memory of being beaten. Helena said something about how now he kills for her. Then she was talking to someone outside of his sightline. He thinks it was Jake, and that Jake overheard Helena’s plan for him. Sam thinks he must have been scared. Well, yeah. Jason says he looked so different then, and it must be hard for him to differentiate. Sam says it’s a lot to process, and she can’t imagine Jake doing it. Jason makes a call to Elizabeth. He says he needs to see Jake. She says she heard about his trip, and tells him where they are. She tells Jake that his dad is coming by to see him. Now they can celebrate his birthday and open his presents. Jake asks about Jason being different, and Elizabeth says Jason is still his dad. Jake says that he never wants to talk about it – ever.

Valentin tells “Anna” that he loves Nina, and took his vows seriously. If he thought about Anna at all, it was as an adversary, but now he can’t blame Nina for leaving him.

Real Anna can’t talk, and seems terrified. Caroline says she knows it’s frightening, but she’s in good hands. She explains that a Dr. Lancaster found her in her flat and brought her there.

The DA says Julian’s freedom in exchange for evidence against Sonny. Julian says no deal. The DA says it’s a onetime offer, not to be repeated. Julian says it’s not for him. The DA says suit yourself. Sonny is notoriously hard to convict, and there’s no guarantee of success anyway. Julian’s conviction is a sure thing. Scotty comes in, and on his way out, the DA says the arraignment has been postponed. Scotty asks Julian what happened. Julian says the DA thought he had an offer that Julian couldn’t refuse, but he did.

Caroline asks Anna if she can say something, but Anna passes out before she can form actual words. Caroline runs to get the doctor.

Valentin tells “Anna” that he still feels something for her, just as strong today as years ago. Anna says she does too, but she tried to fight it out of respect for his marriage. She wants things clean between them, and no wreckage left behind, like the Chimera Project. Whoever this is (if I’m not right, I’ll be surprised) must think Valentin is an idiot.

Jason comes to the park. He says he has to talk to Jake about what he remembers. Elizabeth says he was concerned about Jason, and Franco adds that he doesn’t want the conversation. Jason says he needs to talk to him alone. He asks Jake if they can go for a walk. Franco says he hopes that Jason knows what he’s doing. Sam says at least he didn’t lie about his intentions like Franco did. I like Sam, but she frequently annoys me when I think she should be smarter than she’s acting.

Jason tells Jake that they need to have a father/son serious talk. He says before the birthday blast, he needs Jake to understand that he shouldn’t worry about him – or the scarecrow.

Scotty tells Julian that the DA should be dealing with his attorney for a plea deal. Julian says the DA wanted him to provoke Sonny to get evidence against him. He says the DA never mentioned immunity, and there’s no statute of limitations for murder, so the DA could have nailed him again in the future. Scotty says his sister was sloppy, and when they find Julian guilty, to remember that he screwed up Scotty’s winning streak.

Scotty sees Alexis in the hallway, and asks if her meeting was postponed too. She says it was brief, and Scotty says he has an idiot for client, and Julian is going to prison. Alexis says maybe she can talk sense into him. She goes in to see Julian.

Caroline tells the doctor that Anna was responsive, and then passed out. She says that Anna was trying to speak.

Valentin tells “Anna” that it’s been decades since he sold the Chimera Project. She says it’s her fault it’s out there, and it should be locked in a WSB lab. Valentin says they can’t be trusted, since they created it. He tells Anna again that the buyer is dead, and all the years it was in their possession, it was never deployed. He says there’s nothing to worry about, and asks if it’s the only reason she wanted to see him. She tells him that she tried to respect his marriage, but now that Nina is gone, they can talk about what they can be together.

Franco tells Sam that in a perfect world, they wouldn’t have to see each other. Sam is pissed off because he got involved, but he says he recreated the activity to spark Jason’s sense memory, and it worked. Elizabeth says what matters is Jake.

Jake doesn’t want to talk about when Jason looked different. Jason says he’s Jake’s dad, and it’s his job to help him get through difficulties; sometimes it’s best to face it straight on and talk about it. He says there’s nothing Jake can’t discuss with him because he loves him so much. If there’s a problem, there’s a fix. Jake says it’s not about what he did, but what he didn’t do. Jason asks if that’s what he’s been drawing. Jake says, if you see something bad, you tell someone, but there was no one to tell – just “her” and the guard. They were beating Jason up, and Jake couldn’t stop them. Jason says nothing that happened was his fault; he was stuck in a very bad situation. Jake says he knew he liked Jason right away, and calls him the guy with the motorcycle. Jason says the fact that he wanted to help him means everything, and he’s very brave. Jake tells Jason that he didn’t feel brave. Jason says it was one of the worst things anyone could go through, and he survived. He wants Jake to know he loves him, and that woman is gone and can never hurt any of them again. He’ll always be there to protect Jake. Jake looks at the box, and says there’s something else; something he doesn’t know.

Alexis says Julian should think it over, but he says that he doesn’t want to perpetuate the cycle of violence that he started. She asks if that’s the only reason, and he says no.

Jason repeats that Jake can tell him everything, and there’s always a fix for a problem. Jake says he loves Jason and doesn’t care what he looks like; he’s the best dad ever. Jake tells him about the magic set, and says he’s working on his first trick and needs to practice. Jason says Jake can stay and practice, and he’ll keep Aiden busy. They hug. Jason goes back to the picnic.

Jason tells them that Jake is practicing his magic trick. He says Jake told him what he saw on the island, and was mostly upset that he couldn’t do anything about it. He explained to Jake that Helena is gone, and that he was brave for his situation survival. Elizabeth thinks Jake still needs to see Andre, but he’s turned a corner. Jason doesn’t remember any more yet, but tells them about the tree with chimera carved in it, and thinks that’s where Jake got the image.

Jake fingers the Chimera Project. Aiden approaches, and Jake tells him to stay away. He says Aiden can’t tell anyone.

Anna moans. The doctor asks for sedative. The nurse thinks it’s too soon, but he says she’s his patient.

Valentin tells “Anna” to be careful. She talks about how beautiful he is inside. She says he’s strong and handsome and her equal in every way. She doesn’t think they should have any secrets. They kiss.

Julian tells Alexis that the only way he can start over is immunity, and it wasn’t part of the offer. He says he’ll have to pay for what Olivia-J forced him to do. Alexis tells him not to worry yet. He asks about his chances. He gets silence, and says that’s what he thought. Alexis says despite everything that’s happened, she doesn’t want him to go to prison, but has no idea how to stop it

Elizabeth says now they can deal with what Jake saw and experienced. Franco says he owes Jason an apology. Sam asks if he’s talking about the shackles and whacking him around, but Franco says that helped. He’s sorry that he assumed Jake was afraid of Jason instead of afraid for him. Jason says he thought the same thing. He says that he never would have known what was going on without Franco, and thanks him. Elizabeth says they all agree to be careful moving forward, but thinks worst is over.

Jake says, if you see something bad, tell someone, but he can’t tell anyone about this.

Anna mumbles unintelligibly. She sees the doctor and grabs his arm.

“Anna” asks Valentin to make love to her. He asks if it’s really what she wants. His hand hovers around her throat as he caresses her face. He suddenly yanks the chimera necklace off of her, and says for once, he’s a step ahead.

Tomorrow, real Anna says it’s a mistake, Griff wants to join Charlotte for dinner, and Michael finds Nelle unconscious.

Also, the Nurses Ball begins on Monday, with Mario Lopez working the red carpet.

Southern Charm

Omg, Craig’s cat is too cute! Kathryn visits JD (bleh) and Elizabeth. Why? Elizabeth says they’ve missed her. Kathryn wonders why she wasn’t invited to some event, and JD says until they know she’s settled, it’s iffy because they don’t want to go back to the same old with her and Thomas creating drama. Kathryn says she got a text message from Thomas asking if she wants a conversation. She’s concerned he has another motive, since it’s the first time he’s communicated with her in nine months. JD says that he told Thomas there needs to be a resolution. In his interview, JD says it’s complicated, since their dynamic keeps changing. JD tells Kathryn they have to learn to be in the same room. Kathryn says she doesn’t know how to navigate the relationship. Elizabeth says to remove the emotions, and Kathryn says like a business deal. In her interview, Kathryn says she’s worked hard, and maybe it is time for them to communicate. JD thinks she shouldn’t leave things up to the courts.

Shep jogs to Whitney’s place. Whitney wonders if there’s frost in hell. In his interview, Shep says he hasn’t had a drink in five days and thinks he’s proved to himself that he can live without alcohol. No comment. Whitney tells him he should replace alcohol with smoking. Ha-ha!  Although I’m not crazy about Whitney, I do like his sense of humor. Shep thinks they should go on a quail hunt at a private club near Savannah. We see pictures of Shep hunting as he was growing up. He wonders if Craig and Naomie have resolved things. Whitney thinks Naomie is getting tired of Craig’s shtick.

Craig tells the cat that Naomie is going to be late. He wonders if they’re going to be okay, and says it’s scaring him. Naomie arrives home, and Craig concentrates on some paperwork. She asks if he wants to discuss last weekend, and he says he has work to do. She wants him to apologize, but he doesn’t think he was in the wrong. She was out of control, and complained about him being late when she left without him. She tells him to stop making excuses. He says she chose to air their dirty laundry, and she says she was embarrassed about the way he talked to her. She says she doesn’t disrespect him, but he begs to differ, saying she contributes to the problem. Naomie decides that she only wants to discuss the topic further if it’s with a counselor who will tell him he’s wrong. Um… that’s not how any of that works. In his interview, Craig is willing to do whatever it takes. Naomie says on a brighter note, she’s trying to get out of whatever she does on Friday, so she can go on the hunting trip with them. “Brighter” being a matter of perspective. Craig says he doesn’t want anyone getting in their business, and wants them to be on the same team.

Whitney goes shopping for hunting clothes, or what he calls an ensemble. Shep and Austen tag along. Shep explains how it works to Austen, who’s never gone hunting before, and isn’t even sure what quail is. Really? I’ve never gone hunting once, and I know what a quail is. Craig calls Shep from DSG, and asks if he should get snake proof boots. Shep tells him to treat himself, but that a snake is going to get him no matter what. They talk about who’s coming. He thinks Austen is getting cold feet about Chelsea, but in his interview, Austen says he just doesn’t want to discuss her with Shep. Shep has ideas about fixing Austen up with Landon, because he must hate Austen. Whitney picks out some fancy duds, and Shep tells him that it’s not a catwalk, it’s about catching supper. I can’t help thinking the irony is that many cats do catch their supper.

Landon visits Patricia. They sit by the pool, and ask Michael for bourbon slushies. No. Just no. And I like bourbon. Patricia says she called Landon because of how they were talking about love the other night. She thinks Landon and Thomas would make a good match. Michael brings a chewy stick for Chauncey the Pug, and serves it to him with tongs off of a silver plate. Landon says Thomas has a world of problems she can’t even fathom. Patricia says grown-ups do, and you need a mate who’s your equal or better, and that it takes money, honey. She always found older men attractive because they’re established. She has a soft spot for Thomas, who she thinks is an exemplary father.

Thomas gets the kids ready to go to Kathryn’s for the weekend. He says it’s emotional for all of them, and just tough.

Landon tells Patricia that she’ll be nervous until things are settled with Kathryn and Thomas. She says it was crazy when she wasn’t involved, so she can imagine if she was really dating him. Patricia says you have to take risks or you’ll end up leading a life of quiet desperation. That’s a good one.

Everyone gets ready for the hunting trip, double-checking their guns and wardrobes. Shep tells Cameran that he doesn’t think things are working out between Chelsea and Austen, because he wants to stir the pot. Funny, doesn’t sound like it in their car. Cameran asks if Shep gets a “tingle in his britches” over Chelsea. When he says yes, she thinks he’s jealous. Yep. They arrive at the hunting park or whatever it is. Whitney invites Thomas to come for dinner after the hunt, since guns won’t be involved. He’s not allowed around them, being a felon and all.

Cameran asks the manager about other activities, and finds out there’s fishing. She says fishing is safer for her. The last time she tried shooting a gun, she ended up with a scar from dinging herself in the forehead with the scope. They divvy up the rooms, and Austen and Chelsea take a two-bedroom cabin. Whitney looks ridiculous. JD (bleh) and Elizabeth arrive. The manager says the chef will prepare their quail for dinner. Please be an appetizer.

They drive to the hunting spot by a lake. The dogs get ready, and the guide explains how it works. I’m hoping none of the dogs get hurt. Doubly so when Craig shoots too low. Shep gets the first quail. Surprisingly, Austen does very well. In his interview, he says he was born for this. Chelsea is impressed.

Cameran goes fishing with Elizabeth. She prefers the leisurely pace. She catches something, but it’s gone when she lifts the line out of the water, and somehow, her line becomes a tangled, unusable mess. Naomie joins them.

JD (bleh) says Whitney is ready for a photo shoot. Yeah, for a British hunting magazine in the 1940s. Shep asks Craig if he patched things up with Naomie, and he says they did. He tells Shep that he’s a private person, and was annoyed about her opening her mouth.

Naomie tells the girls that she wasn’t okay with what Craig said. She doesn’t want it to turn into a Thomas and Kathryn situation. Well, unless she’s having his children, that’s highly unlikely.

The gang gathers for appetizers. Beef tartare is involved, and it looks awesome. Shep tries to call Austen, but gets voicemail. He leaves a message that dinner is fast approaching. Landon is an idiot who wears blinders, and asks if Austen and Chelsea are together. She talks about taking a picture of them, and when she suggested it for an engagement photo, neither one said no. Shep ends his personal prohibition, and has a drink. In her interview, Cameran doesn’t think a week is sufficient to get rid of the liver enzyme, but the heart wants what it wants.

They move to the main dining area for dinner. Chelsea and Austen finally show up. Chelsea calls Austen a badass, and he talks about his hunting success. In his interview, Shep says he thinks Austen is taking notes on what Chelsea likes because he wants to get laid. Cameran asks what they were doing, and Austen says “things.” She asks if they’re sharing a bed and Chelsea says that’s to be determined. In her interview, she thinks Shep has lost out with Chelsea. Ya think?

Thomas arrives. Landon wants to keep her distance, since Patricia is playing matchmaker, and she doesn’t want to give him the wrong idea. Shep tells Cameran that he thinks something is going on between Austen and Landon, because he just can’t stand losing. Landon’s website is discussed. She says she thinks if she keeps trying, she’ll turn into a diamond. No comment. Cameran wonders why Shep would even care if he didn’t have a thing for Chelsea.

Dinner arrives, and it’s another gorgeous presentation. Naomie asks Thomas about the kids, and he talks about making funny faces at them. Everyone wants to see because they’re also children. Thomas says he’d never thought about being a father, because he’s another child. Whitney asks if things are amicable with custody, and Thomas says he wants their mom to be happy and participate. JD and Elizabeth actually stick up for Kathryn, and say she should be given a second chance. Cameran wonders why anyone would believe Kathryn has changed. Thomas says he reached out to her. In her interview, Landon says Kathryn will never be out of the picture, and she’ll always be hesitant to be involved with Thomas. The group moves on to serious drinking. Shep falls on the floor, and Austen and Chelsea call it a night.

The next morning, it’s time to go, and Shep says he’s back on the wagon. Chelsea and Austen are still in bed. Chelsea says he should be a real man, and make breakfast. Shep says he was a real man, and hunted dinner. He wonders if they should let people know their relationship is on another level. She says they both like their independence, and she likes it the way it is. He talks about puppy love, and they declare their like for one another, but Chelsea says she’s weary of relationships. She says neither one of them want anything serious. In his interview, Austen is like, this is backward.

Next time, Landon rides some kind of motor scooter, Craig and Naomie go to counseling, and a stranger declares Thomas and Landon are soulmates. That word makes me cringe, but in this case it might be applicable, since neither of them have souls.

🍹 I’ve been half-watching Southern Charm: Savannah, but the jury is still out. This bunch comes from older money, and is possibly a bit more mature, although it’s really too early to tell. The city is definitely interesting to look at. I wouldn’t mind living there, or Charleston, if it wasn’t for the heat and humidity. Oh, and that I can’t afford it. Two of the cast members are getting married, the twist being that they’re an Episcopalian & Muslim. Needless to say, not all family members are on board. There was a game of strip golf, where the only female player insisted she was doing it for feminism and equality. She also said she wanted to “own” her body, stretch marks and all. We should all look so good. In our lace teddy. Best quote from next week’s preview: Ashley don’t play fair.

🎭 I had just been thinking recently that it would be cool for Andy Cohen to have Laura Linney and Cynthia Nixon on Watch What Happens Live. Mostly because a dear friend took me to see them in The Little Foxes on Broadway, and WWHL is filmed in NYC. The actresses alternate playing the lead roles of Regina and Birdie, and the night we saw it, Linney was playing Regina, and Nixon, Birdie. They’ve also just received Tony nominations for those same roles. Anyway, they were on the show tonight, and it was very engaging. We learned that the reason those particular roles were chosen for the Tonys, was because they were the roles played on opening night. They talked a lot about how interesting and challenging it is to be playing both roles, and called them savory (Regina) and sweet (Birdie). Both actresses were a class act and had great senses of humor.

savannah-georgia

May11

May 10, 2017 – Nina Has Enough, Ramona Doesn’t Get It, Andy & Abbey

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 General Hospital

Valentin tells Anna that he sold the Chimera Project for a spectacular amount of money. Anna says he doesn’t seem concerned, and he says everyone involved is dead. She tells him that just because the buyer is dead, doesn’t mean the Chimera Project isn’t waiting for someone to unleash it.

Curtis and Jordan are having drinks. She tells him it’s okay to be scared. He pours champagne in her athletic shoe, but she stops him from drinking it; she’s impressed enough that he’d do it. He says they have an audience. Andre lurks at the bar.

Nathan is perplexed about Maxie. Nina tells him to call her. He says he will. She asks if he wants to escort her to Windemere. He says it’s nice to feel needed, and she says she’ll always need him. Valentin is still on his run anyway.

Valentin tells Anna that it’s possible the chimera is disabled, but still usable. The buyer died before using it. Anna says that doesn’t mean it wasn’t passed on. All right. What the blip does it do already? Do they even know?

Valentin flashes back to giving Helena (woohoo!) the Chimera Project. It’s in a silver container that looks like a martini shaker with chimera on it. He tells Anna that the buyer was no good at sharing.

Jake is shaking his birthday gifts. He tells Elizabeth what his guesses are. She says hands off until his party. He says it’s not fair, since his birthday is technically over. Elizabeth says he wanted his dad there, and Jake says he should be there now. She says that he went away on an emergency, and will be home soon.

Jason tells Franco that he was Jake’s scarecrow all along. Franco says Jason is what Jake has been afraid of all this time.

Jordan asks if Curtis wants to leave, but he says he’s good. She says she is too. He asks if she’d be good if Andre took up with one of her co-workers, even if it was Valerie. She turns around, and Valerie sits next to Andre. Valerie tells him that this is awkward, and asks if his ears are burning.

Nathan wonders why airline tickets to Portland are so expensive. Tell me about it. Nina offers to get him one, but he says no. She asks if he wants a beer and goes to get one. He looks at his phone, and can’t believe the prices went up again in three minutes time. I feel his pain. Nina comes back in. She says Valentin hasn’t come back from his run yet. Nathan tells her to call him, but she says she knows where he is.

Anna asks Valentin for the name of the buyer, and he says it wouldn’t do her any good. He tells her that if the project still existed, he’d find it and destroy it. She says he doesn’t trust her, and he says for good reason She tells him that she’s been honest since her memories were recalled, but he asks how he would know the difference. He says she’s always had an agenda, and wonders if he ever knew her. She says there’s only one way to find out, or she can disappear from his life for good. I wish.

Jake wants to cancel the party. Elizabeth says if he doesn’t drop the attitude, he’s losing screen time for a week; it’s time for him to exercise patience. He apologizes, and she tells him to forget about the presents and get his homework done. Kiki rings the bell. She says she has a package for Jake from Franco. Elizabeth tells him, homework, and he goes upstairs. Kiki says sorry, she didn’t know it was an issue. Franco had left a note, but she doesn’t know why he didn’t bring it himself. Elizabeth says she got a text that he’s on a mystery errand.

Franco asks what Jason did to Jake. Jason says he didn’t hurt his son. Franco asks what did happen. Jason talks about being in the restraints. He flashes back to a guy beating on him, and saying that rule number one is don’t talk about fight club your life is not your own. Franco can understand why someone would want to shackle and beat hell out of Jason, but if Jake saw it, wouldn’t he have been afraid for him? Jason remembers rule number two is never talk about fight club follow orders. He says someone else there, calling the shots. The guy beating him says he’ll pass out soon. Helena says Jason has survived worse than this. Jason tells Franco that it’s Helena. Like this is some huge shock.

Nina says Valentin is with Anna. Nathan gives her other reasons Valentin could be late. She says he went out to find her or she went out to find him. Nathan had thought they figured it out, but Nina says every time she turns around, she sees Anna, and Valentin acts sketchy, like he has something to hide.

Curtis wants something stronger that doesn’t taste like feet. He tells Jordan that he’s happy Valerie has moved on, and Andre is a lucky man, but not as lucky as he is. Jordan says keep talking.

Valerie flirts with Andre, and asks if he’s uncomfortable. He says no, but Jordan and Curtis might be. He says Curtis was always the third wheel in his relationship with Jordan. Valerie says Jordan is her new boss, confusing me, since I thought Jordan was always her boss. Andre says his advice is, if you don’t like a situation, change it. He leaves, and Valerie says maybe she will.

Curtis’s phone rings. Jordan says she’ll get their drinks. He tells her anything that doesn’t come in a shoe, and answers the phone. She orders the drinks, and says hey to Valerie. Valerie doesn’t look up from her phone. She asks if Valerie is dating Andre, and Valerie asks if she’s going to warn her off Andre too.

Nathan tells Nina that her problem is losing faith and trust, and Valentin is doing nothing to get it back. He asks if she can live that way, and she says no. He tells her to demand more, and she says what if he can’t give it?

Anna says every time she sees Valentin, she’s reminded of the ills she committed against him. He should have been a friend. She says her guilt means nothing to him. He says that means something, but she says not enough. She starts to leave, and he stops her. He says maybe they should get to know each other – who they are now. She says, a fresh start, and Andre pops out of nowhere. He says he didn’t mean to interrupt, and Valentin says he was just leaving. I hate that he’s being snowed by this crap. Has he learned nothing from his Richard III days?

Franco tells Jason that it makes sense, but what they don’t know is what Jake saw. We see the guard beating the living hell out of Jason, and Jason tells Franco that it wasn’t enough. The guard tells Helena that he’ll be no good if he’s dead. She says she always has assets in reserve.

Elizabeth gets a special delivery package.

Franco says she could have meant Jake or any one of her crazy relatives, and asks Jason if Helena gave him any hints. Jason remembers her saying she was pleased with his work. Helena tells Jason that the target was eliminated, but he missed the rendezvous, and it’s unacceptable. After all she’s done for him. The only reason he’s alive is because she met Faison’s price; don’t make her regret it. Jason tells Franco that the guy keeps hitting, and Helena orders more. There’s nothing he can do. He says the rest of the memory is out of reach.

Jason is in the shackles. Franco says, perfect fit.

Elizabeth says the package is from Spencer. Jake asks if he can open it now, since Spencer isn’t going to be at the party. Elizabeth thinks that would be okay. The UPS guy says, happy birthday, little man, which is creepy, and Jake stops for a split second.

Jordan says Valerie’s business has nothing to do with her. Valerie says until she’s done with Curtis. Then she’ll tell Valerie why dating Andre isn’t a good idea. She says she nearly got fired for dating Curtis, but look at Jordan now. Jordan says, sorry she’s hurt. Valerie says she’s grateful that she got out of a bad situation. She hopes it doesn’t cost Jordan’s career like it almost cost hers. Valerie leaves, and Curtis joins Jordan at the bar. He asks what happened, and she says nothing, just talking shop.

Anna asks if Andre is keeping tabs on her. He says it’s public park, and he asks what would have happened if he hadn’t shown up? She says that she planned on uncovering secrets up close that she couldn’t get from surveillance. He asks how close she’s planning on getting.

Nina doesn’t want to give up on her husband. Nathan says he admits that he hates Valentin. He’s making Nina feel lost, lonely, and insecure. She says she loves him and has to decide if it’s worth it. Nathan says sometimes it gets harder before it gets easier. She should start by being truthful with herself, and figure out from there. Valentin walks in, and asks why Nathan is at Windemere. Nina says he took her home, and Valentin senses something is wrong. Nina asks him to tell her if he was with Anna.

Franco says that maybe he should finish what Helena started, and punches Jason. Jason remembers Helena saying that it’s hard to find good help, while the guard keeps punching him. I have to add that Helena is full-on dressed up, complete with several strands of pearls. It’s one of the things I love about her. She never dresses down. She tels Jason that now he’s at her disposal; now he kills for her. She says they’re not alone, and says, hello little man. Jason says he was here; he saw him. Franco asks who, and Jason answers, Jake.

Nina tells Valentin that it’s a simple question. He says he bumped into Anna, and Nina is like, omg. She asks what Anna wanted, but doesn’t let him answer. She says she can’t do this anymore. Every time he says she’s wrong, she puts her faith in him, only to be a loser again. She asks if he’s having affair with Anna, or does he want to.

Anna tells Andre that she’s in a position to acquire information using Valentin’s interest in her. Andre says that Valentin is dangerous, but her condition makes her less so. He tells her that he’s heard about her missing appointments. Anna says she’s fine, and she’s taken procedures elsewhere to avoid prying eyes. Andre tells her not to make him the enemy. She says her illness doesn’t make her infirm, and she can get by without his unique form of condescension. She asks why he foists his opinion on her, and wonders if she’s a distraction from the mess he made with Jordan.

Curtis tells Jordan that she needs a game plan; something to look forward to. He suggests they take a walk, then go back to his place, listen to slow jams and chill. She says, raincheck.

Jake opens the package. It’s a magic set that has all kinds of cool stuff like a top hat and a wand. There’s a box inside the box that says top secret – for magician’s eyes only.

Helena is talking to child that Jason can’t see. Jason tells Franco that Jake must have hidden behind the tree, and watched. Helena tells Jason that he does a clean kill every time, and now he kills for her. Franco says he can see how it would be traumatizing. He wonders how Jake is afraid of Jason though. He undoes the cuffs, and says, it worked, so they’re good. Jason punches him.

Curtis asks Jordan if it’s about Andre and Valerie, or is it about him. She says maybe it’s about her. She tells him that she’ll see him soon, and jets.

Anna apologizes to Andre. Andre says he cares what happens, and she reminds him of boundaries. He says that he won’t tell her how to live her life or do her job, but he won’t stand idly by and let her jeopardize her life. She’s stuck with him.

Kiki asks Jake about the box inside the box, and he says it says it says for magician’s eyes only. She says that’s right, a magician never tells his secrets. She leaves, and Jake sees a note that says, look underneath and you’ll recognize what you find.

Franco is out cold, and Jason sends Elizabeth a text from Franco’s phone saying that he’s all tied up. Jason puts Franco in the shackles and asks how it feels to be in his shoes.

Valentin begs Nina not to leave. She says they’re done with the conversation. Nathan tells Valentin that he lost the best thing that ever happened to him. I agree, and I’m very disappointed.

Anna’s phone rings. She says making progress, and it shouldn’t be long until she gets what they need.

Franco says this is the thanks he gets for helping Jason. Jason says he’s going to leave Franco there to think about his actions. He’ll send someone to get him, but until then, he’s going to his son’s birthday party. We see the chimera carved into the tree.

Jake opens the box within the box. It’s the cocktail shaker with the Chimera Project in it.

Tomorrow, Andre talks to Monica about Morgan, Griff hopes the plan works, and Nina leaves Valentin.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Everyone is tending to their dogs. Tinsley picks a poopie up off the carpet. Rich people – they’re just like us! At least their dogs are.

At a restaurant, Bethenny is meeting Sonja, who is late even though she lives around the corner. Sonja says she’s going forward with purging both her house and her mind. Bethenny asks about Ramona’s surprise party. Sonja tells her about Dorinda’s insanity, and how Ramona can’t have an emotionally mature conversation. She gets why Bethenny feels the way she does. Bethenny says Ramona wanted to make her feel shameful. They talk about dating, and Bethenny suggests that Sonja find a new place, since they’re all looking in the same places for men. We flash back to how incestuous dating is in their circle.

Meanwhile in the Berkshires, Dorinda visits her late husband’s grave. It’s the fifth year he’s been gone, and she feels that she can finally let him go. She meets her parents and her daughter at the cemetery. John isn’t there because it’s the family that was. Hannah looks gorgeous. Dorinda lights candles, and they look at the photos in front of the headstone. Carole arrives. She looks smashing, with an entirely black outfit – pants, jacket and blouse – except for a white collar and white gloves. Dorinda says that Richard’s other two children couldn’t be there, but even though Hannah was his stepdaughter, he treated her like one of his own and they had a special relationship. Hannah talks about how his death devastated her, and how she is who she is because of him. She tells them not to cry because it’s over, but smile because it happened. Dorinda is impressed with how Hannah is able to express her feelings. Dorinda speaks, saying that Richard is always in her thoughts, and jokes that sometimes she’s still mad at him. She says she wears her ring on this day every year. In her interview, she tells us about how when someone is sick, a new world is given to you in a split second.

Bethenny is sorting Brynn’s American Doll stuff. At least their accessories aren’t as small as Barbie’s. She says life is different. She’s gotten the real estate bug and finds it therapeutic. She thinks Brynn might be a budding hoarder, but she has to let her fly like a little hoarding bird.

Everyone gathers at Dorinda’s house. Carole talks to her parents, who have been married a looong time. Dorinda says Hannah is ready to move out, and she’s ready to start a new chapter of her life. They talk about Richard and what a great guy he was. Carole tells them about hearing that the homeless people he helped came to his funeral. In her interview, Carole says Richard was a fascinating character, and she’s weirdly obsessed with him. She wishes she’d known him. Dorinda says he had childlike sensibility with an intense mind.

Sonja instructs Tinsley on how to load a dishwasher. Tinsley says she doesn’t know what the rules are, and she’s trying to figure them out. Sonja doesn’t have interns anymore, so she’s blaming Tinsley for everything. Tinsley forgets that Sonja isn’t drinking, and puts vodka in her orange juice. In her interview, Tinsley tells us that she doesn’t want to overstay her welcome. I don’t know what’s in Sonja’s ice tray, but it’s brown. Maybe I don’t want to know.

Luann, Dorinda, and Luann’s other bridesmaids go with Luann to see her wedding dress. She says she feels like she’s living the fairytale. She’s never worn a wedding dress, because she eloped the first time. It’s pretty, sleeveless and simple, with a lace overlay. Dorinda marvels at being 51 and a bridesmaid. The dress isn’t bad. Pink, sleeveless, with a high-low hem. You could probably wear it again, but the chances of Dorinda doing that are zero to none.

Tinsley walks with her friend, Anisha, who has two dogs in a small remote controlled car. She claims it’s cooler than a stroller, and I have to agree, but hope it doesn’t become the norm. It’s hard enough walking in NYC. She asks Tinsley where she’s moving to, but Tinsley doesn’t know yet. She says the Upper East Side isn’t cool any more, but it’s what she knows. Anisha says that Tinsley should live in her building, and hands her the remote. Poor dogs.

Bethenny visits Carole. Carole’s couch is a wreck, but Bethenny says it looks intentional. They talk about Thanksgiving, and the turkey that Adam cooked. Carole says they both like their space, pointing out that it’s really her apartment. Bethenny says she thinks Carole has mixed feelings about Adam living there. Carole is encouraging him to move, since it’s not good for their relationship being together 24/7. She tells Bethenny there’s something about a two-year mark. Neither one of them want to get married, so they wonder what they’re doing. In her interview, Bethenny says at two years you shouldn’t be moving out.

Carole asks about suckerfish Jason Hoppy. Bethenny says it’s like an extermination problem; if you don’t get to the root, it won’t go away. In her interview, Carole says she’s witnessed behavior from Bethenny’s ex that’s beyond bizarre, and hopes it ends soon. Carole is having a get-together with the women to clear the air. Bethenny tells Carole that she doesn’t care about Ramona, and hopes that Ramona leaves her alone.

Ramona calls Dorinda and thanks her for the surprise party. Dorinda talks about being worried that Ramona wasn’t going to show. They discuss Bethenny not coming. Dorinda tells Ramona to use going out for drinks as a way to reconnect.

The girls go to the old Limelight, now called Jue Lan. If Bethenny has the right demeanor, Ramona is going to try and approach her without being confrontational. Bridesmaids dresses are discussed. Ramona says she bought her ticket to Palm Beach, and asks Luann if she gets an invitation. Luann tells her that they were sent out a while ago, but not to her. She says no offense, but she wants her day drama free. In her interview, Luann says Ramona wouldn’t come if she did send her an invite. Ramona says she doesn’t care, but there’s no reason not to invite her, and her feelings are hurt. Omg, they go back and forth, with Ramona feeling insulted and Luann saying sorrynotsorry. Bethenny equates Ramona not wanting to go, but wanting to be invited, to a sex act.

Somehow Bethenny gets reeled in to the argument. Ramona claims people are calling her, and asking if the wedding is on. Luann brings up Ramona saying that people are taking bets. Ramona says it was just a joke. In her interview, Luann says the truth always comes out first, then people say they were just kidding. YES!!!! Bethenny sums it up perfectly by saying that Ramona is being an a-hole.

Luann says cheers, and everyone gladly drinks. She tells Ramona not to say stupid things, and Ramona says it happens from time to time. All of the time. Sonja and Tinsley arrive late. Carole tells Tinsley about two apartments in her building, where she’s on the board. Tinsley says she’d like to check it out. Food comes out, and the girls sit down. Tinsley tells everyone her life story. She married Topper when they were both eighteen, after seeing Andrea do it on 90210.

Ramona corrals Luann, and they discuss Bethenny. Ramona feels awkward. Luann thinks Bethenny didn’t like how Ramona brought up her B-movie past in front of everyone, and suggests Ramona talk to her. In her interview, she says if Ramona wants to poke the bear, have at it.

Ramona approaches Bethenny. She starts talking about friends talking about difficult things they’re going through. Bethenny says she isn’t into being schooled by Ramona, and Ramona calls her strange. She says she spoke to her out of concern, and Bethenny acted hostile. Bethenny says she doesn’t like how Ramona is speaking to her, and Ramona says she can dish it out, but not take it. She can’t answer a simple question. Ramona insists that she’s speaking normally, and Bethenny suggests she’s not very self-aware. Ramona says she was there when Bethenny was sick, and Bethenny says she was there through Ramona’s divorce, which Ramona denies. Bethenny wants to end the conversation, and tells everyone good night.

Ramona squawks that Bethenny doesn’t like the way she talks to her. In her interview, Ramona says it’s all on Bethenny. Ramona tells the women that Bethenny is like a rabid dog sometimes, and Tinsley says that Ramona is too. Carole has no sympathy, and Dorinda thinks Ramona is emotionally heightened, whatever that is.

Next time, Ramona wants to know why it always has to be her, we meet Bethenny’s boyfriend, Dorinda has a charity auction, and Bethenny tells Tom sorry for the drama.

🔬 If you haven’t caught Andy Cohen’s Then & Now, give it a looksee. It’s nicely put together, and a must if you like retrospectives. Like Andy, I enjoy pop culture, so it’s right up my alley. They seem to be randomly hopping around, and this week, 2003 was examined. Starting with Martin Bashir’s documentary on Michael Jackson, a lot of it was concentrated on celebrity-driven reality programs. Newlyweds, WMDs, The Apprentice, Beyonce – a lot happened in 2003. One of the really fun things is remembering the shows you used to watch and the stuff you were once interested in. There’s a lot of, oh yeah, that! Next time, 1985 is inspected. I’m partial to the 80s, and that’s the year I got married. Apparently other things happened too. I can’t wait to find out what.

💃 Abbey Lee Miller is going to just pretend she’s on a movie set when she’s in prison. I’m not even sure what to say, since it’s actually not a bad idea. She’s also going to learn Spanish and write a book. Sounds like a plan.

May4

May 3, 2017 – Tracy Bids Farewell to PC, Carole’s Head Explodes & a Few TV Thoughts

Posted on by
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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Tracy tells someone on the phone to get it done by tomorrow. Dillon asks what’s up tomorrow, and Tracy says she’ll tell him tomorrow. He says she’s focused and energized. She’s made her mind up about something and won’t stop until she gets it. Tracy says her life is off course. Dillon tells her that Larry conned all of them, but Tracy says something happened to her. She fell for Larry’s con and went to the crypt to say good-by to Lila. She tells him about her courtroom hallucination, with Scotty being her attorney and Sonny being the judge. She says that if her bad deeds outweighed the good, she was coming back as the baby Skye Chandler is about to adopt. He asks if doing the right thing gave her a nervous breakdown, but she says she’s finally at peace with herself.

Carly tells Kiki she thought that she and Sonny would find closure about Morgan’s death, but instead they’re getting divorced. Kiki says they clearly love each other, but Carly says sometimes that’s not enough. Kiki tells her that a wise person once said she never hated a man so much that she gave him back his diamonds. Zsa Zsa Gabor?

Sonny gets busy with the strange woman. I get busy with my lunch.

Tracy gets a brunch ready. She tells Monica their guests are about to arrive. Monica is like, nice of you to throw a party in my house, which is a little mean, since Tracy lives there and it’s not like a one-bedroom apartment. The doorbell rings, and it’s Kiki. She asks Dillon if Tracy is okay, since she was nice. Ned says it’s a long story. Tracy says it’s hers to tell when the rest of the guests arrive.

Olivia-F discusses the Nurses Ball with Lucy. Lucy says they have a lot to set up, and thanks Olivia for helping. She says the Nurses Ball sneaks up on her every year. Me too. Olivia says she has to go kiss her mother-in-law’s ring, and leaves for the brunch. Nathan tells Dante that Maxie is on her way home. He says in her absence, he may or may not have created a mess in the house. He hired someone to clean while he splurged on a romantic MetroCourt evening. He says the way she sounded, Port Charles is the last place she wants to be.

Carly and Lulu had planned on discussing a pending convention on The Haunted Star, but Lulu says she just got an SOS from Tracy, and asks if they can reschedule their meeting. Carly says for Tracy, no; for Lulu, yes. Lulu asks how Carly wants the divorce to play out.

It’s morning, and Sonny tells the strange woman that it was unexpected. They introduce themselves. Her name is Martina. Sonny asks if she has any regrets. Martina says she’s a big girl, but does he have any regrets?

Hayden asks Finn why they’re at brunch. He thinks it has something to do with the painting. They discuss the artist. Tracy calls for attention, and says she has an announcement she’ll make when everyone gets there. Olivia-F arrives, but says there’s no food and nearly freaks out. Tracy says there will be after she makes her announcement. Olivia tells her the guests are starving, but Tracy says, my party, my rules. Ned says in the meantime, he has his own announcement, as long as he’s not violating the rules.

Tracy tells him to go ahead. He says they’ll never have to hear Larry Ashton’s name again.

Martina thinks Sonny is getting over something, and hopes it helped. He says it was a welcome distraction from what he has to do today. She says she has a meeting in an hour. They start kissing.

Lulu tells Carly that Dante mentioned she’s planning on keeping Sonny’s assets. She asks if Carly really wants to bleed Sonny dry. Carly says he has all kinds of assets offshore. Lulu says their illegal, and he can’t bring anything into the US. Carly says Jax can’t come into the US either, and if Sonny has to spend time laundering money on some island, he deserves it. He’ll live in the lap of luxury, and gets to take Avery, who she loves, with him. She says that it will force him to rethink his priorities. Lulu says that once Carly goes down this road, she might not be able to come back. Carly doesn’t think there’s anything to come back to.

Lulu goes in the back to get something, and Carly hears a noise. She goes to investigate. It’s Sonny in the stateroom, knocking the phone off the table while in the throes of passion. Carly tries the door. Lulu asks what she’s doing; there are guests in the stateroom. Carly apologizes, and they move on. Carly asks if she should take her rings off, and Lulu tells her not to do it until she’s ready. Carly says Sonny was still wearing his, which surprised her. Lulu says maybe there’s hope after all.

Martina is pressed for time. Sonny asks if she’d like to meet again, but she says she’s just there for a week, and her work will probably take up all the time. Sonny says if they bump into each other again, they’ll see how it goes. She says it’s a deal.

Ned tells everyone he was named after Edward, and he was close to his grandparents growing up. He always had to explain why his last name wasn’t Quartermaine, but Quartermaine is how his mother raised him, and how he thinks of himself; it’s intrinsic to his identity. It falls to him and Dillon to carry on the Quartermaine name, and he’s proud to do so. He shows them a petition that he’s filed to change his name to Edward Lawrence Quartermaine, assuming Tracy approves. She says with all her heart, and hugs him.

Nathan says Portland is the land of opportunity for Maxie, whereas Port Charles isn’t exactly a fashion hub. He leaves to pick her up. Lucy comes back, and tells Dante to hustle. She’s afraid Nathan wants his mother to perform. Lucy says she’s been calling non-stop – although she is talented, but Lucy would never tell her that. Nathan comes back in, and says Maxie isn’t coming home.

Lulu arrives, and Tracy says they can get started. She tells Lulu about Ned’s decision, and then tells the room that she’s now going to attempt to set the record straight. She talks about Edward faking his own death. She tells them about the painting, and how Edward was traveling under the alias of J.L. Holt when he bought it. Tracy explains that he left the painting at a monastery in Turkey, and that the monks were going to sell it, until Larry concocted an elaborate hoax, but Ned stopped him.

Nathan says Maxie was offered something more at the magazine, and it doesn’t sound like she’s coming back any time soon. Lucy gets upset, because Maxie was supposed to help with the costumes. Dante says they can work it out, but Nathan says she’d made the decision without him. He can’t blame her, since she likes the work and is closer to Georgie. Dante says people deal with long-distance relationships all the time. Lucy says she and Doc did it when they were married.

Diane and Carly show up at the divorce hearing first. Diane tells her that Sonny needs his business interests, but Carly says the documents are air-tight. She says when Jax is allowed back in the US, she’ll turn the assets back over. In the meantime, Sonny will be just fine. Diane says he’ll be without his children or her. Carly tells Diane he’s not going to miss her, but Diane says he’ll miss her like a drowning man misses oxygen. She says Sonny is his own worst enemy, and Carly is the only one who’s been able to save him from himself. Every time he falls apart, she’s the only one who can put him back together. Diane says it’s easy to dissolve a marriage, but they’ll never dissolve the relationship. She thinks they should just go into their separate corners for a while. Sonny arrives, and Diane says she thinks they had a breakthrough, but Carly sees that he’s no longer wearing his ring.

Laura is shocked that Samira was working for Larry. Monica absolves Finn from doing the paternity test, but tells him don’t do it again. Laura thanks Ned, and also complements Tracy for wanting to make the sacrifice. Tracy tells everyone about how Laura came with her to Turkey, and about the letter. She says Edward told her he loved her, which may sound simple; however, he was anything but. The letter set her free.

Lucy tells Nathan, on second thought, never mind her and Doc; they’re just one couple, and there are lots of couples who have long-distance relationships. Their break-up was her fault. She realizes she’s not making Nathan feel any better, so she leaves to extract her foot from her mouth. Dante tells Nathan they’re nothing like them. He’s sure Maxie feels the same way, but Nathan says she was quick to stay. Dante says it’s a great opportunity, and she probably feels the marriage can handle it.

Sonny asks if there was a reason why he shouldn’t take his ring off. Carly says no. Guess who her lawyer is. And it’s not Nora. That’s right – Martina.

Tracy tells the group that she’s spent her adult life in and out of Port Charles, and in and out of their lives, but she always came back. She wanted a place there, so she fought, maneuvered, and schemed, but the thing she was chasing was the love expressed in the letter. She tells them that she loves all of them, the people in the room and the people in her heart, but it’s time for her to step out of her father’s shadow and make a life for herself. She can’t do it there. She starts to cry, and says she’s leaving.

Tomorrow, Ned doesn’t believe it, Nathan wonders if there’s room in Maxie’s life for him, and Sonny asks Martina what kind of game she’s playing.

The Real Housewives of New York City

I can’t wait to watch Carole’s head explode.

Carole and her mother are going to Pennsylvania to manipulate get out the vote. Carole says she and her mother have more of a bickering sister relationship. Aww, poor Carole just had a visceral reaction to Trump becoming POTUS. He stands for everything she’s against. Carole has developed such a know-it-all, annoying attitude, people like her are exactly why Trump won.

Ramona goes to the plastic surgeon. She’s getting a laser treatment on her face, since she has a big birthday coming up. She’s in disbelief of her age, since when she looks in the mirror, she sees someone fifteen years younger. Apparently, she avoids looking at her neck.

Carole talks about subsidized housing being a dirty word when she was younger, and how her mother protested the protestors. She discusses her and Adam “shacking up” with her mother. She says she doesn’t regret not having kids, and her mother says that’s okay, she has enough grandchildren. Good woman. My mother-in-law never pressured us, and I think she felt the same way. Carole doesn’t feel the need to introduce her parents to Adam, which I think is kind of odd. Carole gets weirder as this show goes on.

Sonja goes out to dinner with Rocco, a restaurateur she’s known for a long time. She’s torn between him and Frenchie. Rocco is more interested in settling down, whereas Frenchie lives in the moment. She says there’s guys you sleep with and guys you marry, and at present, she’s only sleeping with Frenchie, even though it seems unfair. Rocco asks how many people live at her house, since there are always different people there when he comes over. She tells him how Tinsley didn’t even give her a birthday card. In her interview, Sonja says it’s not the mannered Tinsley she knows. Geez, maybe she just forgot.

Dorinda and Luann meet for shopping. Luann has gotten Tom a Rolex for his birthday, but wants to get him something extra, like a nice tie. They talk about Carole’s election party, and Luann says she’s only involved in the politics of love right now. Dorinda tells her how she’s planning the invitations to Ramona’s surprise party, with Ramona thinking she’s been invited to a different party.

Carole is excited, but wants to throw up. She’s hoping her party will turn into a celebration of the first woman president. She says the election has taken its toll on some friendships, and she’ll be glad to move on. Too bad so many people haven’t moved on, and I’d hazard a guess that Carole is one of them.

Heather from another season has been invited, since she’s a friend of Carole’s. Carole insists that Hillary is going to win. Shock starts to come over her. Dorinda’s late husband worked with Hillary, so she kinda sorta knows her. Omg, Carole is friends with a gay Republican. How did that happen? Bethenny and friends arrive. She says Carole will short circuit if Hillary doesn’t win. I’m laughing already.

Dorinda talks about Ramona’s surprise party, and tries to talk Bethenny into going. Bethenny wishes Ramona a happy birthday, but doesn’t want to go. Carole is getting nervous, but not panicking…yet. <snort> Dorinda is going to cry. Bethenny asks if Carole is all right. Dorinda leaves, wanting to go to bed and have it be a bad dream in the morning. Carole can’t believe what’s happening, and I can barely contain my laughter.

Weepy Carole calls her mother in the morning. She’s stunned, and can’t put words to how she feels. She reads the speech she was going to give. Her mother asks what they do now. Move to Canada? Shoot yourself? Act like a normal person and let life go on? Carole is a dumbass dumbfounded.

Ramona shops for a sexy birthday dress. She tries on something red with zipper detailing. I like it, but think the neckline is too high. Carole joins her. Ramona isn’t holding a grudge, but she’s also not talking to Carole about politics anymore. In her interview, Carole says the two of them shopping in an expensive, exclusive store is why people who live outside of the city think they’re out of touch, so the irony isn’t lost on her. I lived in the city for over 20 years, and I still think they’re out of touch.

They talk about Ramona’s argument with Bethenny. Ramona still tries to justify what she said, and in her interview, Carole thinks she’s off-base. Ramona believes Bethenny is the reason she wasn’t invited to the election party, and Carole tells her that’s not it. Ramona talks about Dorinda’s party invite, and Carole says something about it being a surprise because she’s an idiot. Since Ramona is an even bigger idiot, she doesn’t realize that Carole just let the cat out of the bag.

Tinsley is ready for Ramona’s party. She has on a fabulous beige dress with tiny white flowers appliqued on it, but the invite says LBD, so she goes to change. This just goes to show that people don’t really read things.

The party looks fantastic. Dorinda is picking Ramona up, but she’s running late. Since Ramona has a date after the party she thinks she’s going to, and Dorinda is running late, she calls a cab. Dorinda is afraid she’s not going to show up. Sonja arrives with Tinsley in the proper attire.

Dorinda tells everyone to get ready. The guest of honor arrives, and everyone yells surprise. Ramona starts to cry and falls on the floor in a fit of drama. Dorinda can’t believe she pulled it off. Carole thinks it’s a good thing Ramona doesn’t listen to her. Does anyone? The infamous Harry is there. We flash back to him giving Sonja a ring at some party, and then leaving the party with Luann. In her interview, Sonja says Harry is like the itch she can’t scratch; everywhere she goes, there he is. Ramona calls her date, whose first name she’s forgotten (we find out it’s George), and invites him to the party.

George is incredibly underdressed. Ramona tells him it’s her surprise party, and he asks if he should chill or what? Bleh. And he’s no Brad Pitt. Or even Brad Paisley. Either make the best of it, or go home, George. Luann talks to John. In her interview, she tells us about the Irish good-by, where you leave a party and no one notices. She slips out. Dorinda thinks Bethenny should have done a drive-by. The drinks flow and the food looks incredible.

Ramona and Sonja talk outside on the observation deck. Ramona says she likes that Sonja doesn’t sweat the small stuff. She brings up Bethenny, saying she has no time for superficial crap. She says all she did was ask something out of concern. In her interview, Sonja says it’s amazing how Ramona can spin something. Sonja changes the subject, saying it’s a momentous occasion, after struggling to say the word momentous. In her interview, Ramona says Bethenny is holding a grudge.

The cake comes out. According to the candles, Ramona is a tall one-year-old. She thanks everyone for coming, and says she’s totally shocked.

Next time, Carole complains about not having space, a dog drives a car, Luann tries on her wedding dress, and Ramona continues the argument with Bethenny.

👠 Tonight, on Watch What Happens Live, the guests were Ramona Singer and Alex McCord. It was fun to see Alex again – I miss her and Simon. They’re living in Australia now, and it must agree with her, because she looks great. We also got a fun flashback from when Ramona walked off the first reunion because Alex had dared to have nude art photos taken. They’ve made up since then.

🕶 Another fun show that aired tonight was Andy Cohen’s Then and Now. It’s a pop-culture retrospective, and the first episode covered 1997. From Princess Diana‘s death to my beloved Spice Girls, using clips and celebrity interviews. Like with the death of John Kennedy before her, people tend to remember where they were when they heard the news about Diana. Oddly enough, I was watching the Spice Girls, who were on Saturday Night Live that night.

🍑 Just a note about The Real Housewives of Atlanta. It looks like there’s going to be a lot of crying and screaming and walking off stage in part four of the reunion. The lie about Kandi wanting to drug Porsha and have sex with her comes to a head, with Phaedra admitting that she initiated it. It’s my understanding that Phaedra has gotten the boot from Bravo for this move, and good riddance. That was beyond uncalled for.

 

Apr25

April 24, 2017 – Tracy has an Idea, Shep has a Birthday & Patricia has a Pet Caftan Line

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Alexis asks Julian to wait. Like he has a choice, since he’s being moved out in shackles.

Ned doesn’t want Olivia to go it alone, but she says he’ll be there in spirit.

Samira stares at the painting. Ned tells her they can only cover for her for so long. She wants to leave immediately, with the painting, but Ned thinks Tracy might object to that. No offense to this girl, but unless she’s leaving something out of her story (which no doubt she is), why on earth would she think Tracy owes her a $20 million painting?

On the phone at the hospital, Tracy says she needs the result of the DNA test now. Laura pops out of nowhere, and asks what DNA test?

Jason asks if Jake recognizes a picture in the photo album. Jake looks disturbed, and Jason says that it’s a picture of him before his accident. He asks if Jake remembers what he looked like then, and Jake says he does.

Jax wants Carly and Josslyn to move to Australia where they can be a family.

Jordan tells them to take Julian back to his cell. She asks Alexis what’s going on, and Alexis says they were just surprised to see each other. Diane arrives, and Jordan says she just missed Julian. She asks if Alexis is ready to make her statement. Diane wants to confer with Alexis in private first, but Alexis just wants to get it over with. Jordan wonders why Diane is there, since it’s just a statement. She wants to know what happened while the details are fresh. Diane’s suit is to die for. Black and white with zipper detailing. All suits should look like this.

In the interrogation room, Jordan starts the recording. Jordan asks Alexis if she recognizes her own scarf, and if it was found at the location where Julian kidnapped her. Alexis says she wasn’t kidnapped, giving Diane apoplexy.

Samira wonders where Tracy is, and asks Ned if he thinks Tracy is avoiding her.

Laura tells Tracy that she was there for a board meeting that Tracy missed, and Tracy says she can’t be everywhere at once. Laura asks if the test has something to do with Samira. Tracy drags her by her elbow into a more private area, and makes her swear she won’t say anything. She explains about Samira giving her the journal and signet ring, and how Samira said that Edward had given them to her mother. She says that along with Samira’s blue eyes, and Laura finishes that she thinks Edward might be Samira’s father. Laura asks what Samira thinks, and Tracy tells Laura how she got the DNA and gave it to Finn. Laura says she shouldn’t be going behind Samira’s back. Tracy says she doesn’t want to get Samira’s hopes up, since it’s a remote idea. She says Finn will confirm it, and she can put her ridiculous speculations behind her. Laura says she seems nervous.

Elizabeth tells Jason that it never bothered Jake before. Jason asks why it bothers him now. Jake says it doesn’t, and they both say that he can tell him anything. He says it bothers him because of the witch.

Carly tells Jax that she can’t go. Jax asks why not. He tells her to pack for a few days, and they’ll send for the rest later. She says it’s sudden. Jax says Sonny pushing the issue has done them a favor. Maybe it’s fate’s way of saying it’s their time to be together for keeps. He still loves her. She says she loves him too. He asks if it’s like she used to, and maybe it’s closer to the surface than she thinks. She says it’s complicated. She knows who’s to blame for all this mess. Jax says they’ve been through a lot of messes, and they still end up in each other’s orbit. They’re connected, and bring out the best in each other. They make more sense when they’re together. He thinks their lives can be greater together than being apart.

Jax thinks that after everything that happened with Morgan, the best thing is for Carly to leave Port Charles. She says It’s tempting, but Josslyn isn’t her only family. He says Michael can visit, but she says she feels close to Morgan in Port Charles. His grave marker helps her talk to him. Jax says she’ll take his memories wherever she goes; she can never break their connection. She says it’s not the same.

Laura says that Tracy just found out her father loves her, and then Samira shows up wanting the painting. Tracy tells Laura that just because she’s dating a psychiatrist, doesn’t mean she can shrink Tracy’s head. They decide to go back to the estate. Laura says until Tracy finds out if it’s positive, she can make peace with the fact that she might have a sister. Tracy corrects that to half-sister.

Samira asks Ned if Tracy will still refuse her. Ned thinks she’s made up her mind. Samira asks how she can convince her, and shows Ned a picture of her daughter, Sadika. She says her daughter needs her.

Olivia-F visits Julian. He asks if she’s there to gloat. She tells him about the engagement, and he says he’s happy for them, but wonders what else she has to say. She says what they’ve decided affects him as well.

Diane says Julian admitted it, but Jordan says they’re getting the victim’s point-of-view. Diane wants a moment alone with her client, but Jordan says she hasn’t not committed a crime. She asks if Alexis made an arrangement to meet Julian, and when Alexis says no, Diane thanks God for small favors. Alexis says Julian surprised her, but she went with him of her own free will. Jordan asks if Julian didn’t try to kill her at the docks, and why would she go voluntarily? Alexis says she was trying to convince him to turn himself in, but hadn’t made much headway before the police arrived. Jordan figures they were there an hour, and I’ll refrain from any jokes. Jordan thinks there’s something Alexis isn’t telling her. Alexis thinks about getting busy with Julian, and says there is.

Alexis tells Jordan that there was some confusion as to why she was there, and one officer thought she was an accomplice. Julian was worried, so he said he’d taken her hostage. She says it was his idea at the spur of the moment. Jordan asks why she waited to say anything, and Alexis says everything happened fast. She repeats that Julian didn’t take her hostage. She asks Jordan since he charges will be dropped, is the case against him still as strong?

Julian asks Olivia how their getting married affects him. She says he’s probably going to prison for a long time, and Leo isn’t going to know him. She’s not bringing him to visit. She says she wants Ned to adopt Leo, and Julian says, absolutely not.

Ned tells Samira that her daughter has the same blue eyes that she does. Samira tells him about a song she used to sing to her daughter in English, and starts to sing We Gather Together, possibly because they want me to cry. Tracy and Laura walk in. Tracy is stunned.

Carly tells Jax that the only reason Nelle is still in Port Charles is to get her claws into Michael. She doesn’t know how he became so trusting, considering how he was raised, and Jax suggests that it’s his form of rebellion. Carly says that if she stays, she can get in his face about it. Jax says that her staying isn’t going to influence him. Michael is either going to forgive Nelle or not, but it’s up to him; she can’t dictate his life. He thinks what’s stopping her is Sonny.

Elizabeth changes the subject, but then asks if Jake wants to talk about the witch. He says he doesn’t. Jason tells him that’s fine, but no witch is going to hurt him; he’s safe with them. He asks to go to his room. When he goes upstairs, Elizabeth asks what made Jason think of the picture? Jason says that’s how he looked when he worked for Helena.

Jordan says she can’t comment on the case. Diane asks if Alexis is done and free to go, and Jordan hopes she’s not obstructing justice. Jordan says Alexis should listen – Diane is trying to save her from herself.

Olivia-F says no one needs to make Leo forget; Julian is doing fine on his own. Why does he want to remind Leo of what he’s done? She tells Julian to do what’s best for Leo, and let him be raised so he’s proud of himself, not ashamed of where he comes from. She says that Julian says he loves Leo, and letting Ned adopt him would be the greatest gift he could give to him.

Ned talks about how his family sings the hymn every year at Thanksgiving. Tracy says it’s a very popular hymn, but Samira says not in Turkey, and I laugh. She tells them that her mother taught it to her. Tracy says they have things to talk about. Samira asks if she reconsidered, and Tracy says she’s keeping the painting. Ned takes her outside the room to talk. Ned tells Tracy that they have another problem, and it has nothing to do with the painting.

Jason tells Elizabeth that he doesn’t remember his years with Helena. He did anything Helena ordered him to do. He thinks he lived on the island too, and Jake saw him with Helena, and that’s why he’s afraid.

Carly tells Jax that Sonny doesn’t control her. She says she just declared war, and she’s not running now. Jax says that will only feed Sonny’s ego, but she can prove he no longer matters, and that’s victory. She says Sonny is not getting away with it. Jax says that instead of giving herself a shot at happiness, she wants to fight Sonny because he’s still in her blood and always will be.

Laura tells Samira they’ll find a way to save her daughter. She gives Samira a dress she bought for her. Samira says she won’t be there along enough to wear it.

Ned tells Tracy that immigration will be back with a warrant. She says she knows how to help Samira.

Diana asks wth is the matter with Alexis? Alexis says she told the truth, and Diane says a selective version. For once she doesn’t want to hear the details, but reminds Alexis of the consequences. She painted Julian as a saint. The bar committee might interpret her actions as harboring a criminal, and she could permanently lose her license. Diane asks if he’s worth it.

Jason says Helena was able to force him to put a bomb on The Haunted Star, and could have ordered him to do anything, and he’d have done it. Elizabeth suggests Jake could have seen something.

Jax tells Carly to prove he’s wrong. She says it’s not the right time, and she’s sorry. He says he loves her, and he knows she loves him in her own way, but it’s not enough. He has to go, and she has to stay and get back together with Sonny. She says that’s not happening. Jax says Sonny is at the epicenter of everything, and he’s going to end up destroying her because he can’t help himself.

Olivia-F says that it’s not her intention to hurt Julian; she just wants what’s best for their son. He says that he does too, and she asks him to think it over. He’s going to prison for a long time, and even if he gets out, who will be waiting?

Alexis says she’ll have to cross those bridges when they come to her, and Diane tells her to just make sure not to burn them as she scampers across. Alexis says the charges won’t stick. She asks if they can’t get him on Olivia-J’s crimes, if the kidnapping charge is on failsafe. Diane asks how it would change anything if he walks away.

Tracy tells Ned that there’s only one thing they can do. Ned asks if it will help get Samira’s daughter back. Tracy says in the long run, but she needs to get Samira out of the country now.

Jason says maybe Jake is afraid because back then, Jason did something terrible to him.

Carly tells Jax that she’ll never let Sonny destroy her, but she needs time to process everything. Jax says they’ll always be friends, and he’ll always help as much as he can. She says she doesn’t think she’s being unreasonable, and he tells her to take her time, but he doesn’t know if he’ll be waiting. He says it’s not an ultimatum, but sometimes if you pass on an offer, it doesn’t come back. She says she’ll take her chances; it wouldn’t be fair with so much unresolved, especially with Josslyn. She thanks him for the needed clarity and something to think about. She tells him to fly safe, and he says he’s an expert pilot. They say good-by, and you know what I’m thinking.

Tomorrow, Nelle thinks Michael is never going to forgive her, Samira collapses, and Griff asks Anna if she knows how dangerous what she’s doing is.

😞 Jane Elliot is going to be leaving the show on May 4th, so there will be a special episode on Friday, highlighting Tracy’s exploits.

Southern Charm

Landon unloads stuff from the trunk of her car – or rather, has someone else do it – for the polo match at Thomas’s plantation. Thomas says she knows how to entertain and is good in the kitchen, unlike some other women who have been in his life. We flash back to Kathryn trying to cook dinner, a totally unfair comparison, since she’s also tending to a child. He wants a woman who will reflect positively on his legacy, and thinks maybe she’s the whole package. Oh, the jokes I could make, both about Thomas’s legacy and Landon being a package.

Everyone is getting ready. The horses are getting hosed down. The bar is set up. Guests start to arrive, and Landon plays Lady of the Manor. Or plantation, as it were.

Austen picks up Chelsea and I love, love, love her dress. The backless sundress style is flattering, and the orange and purple retro colors are fantastic. She says all she knows about polo is from Pretty Woman. I don’t even remember that. She says she made out with Shep once, but thinks he acts like an idiot.

Whitney tries to interact with Thomas’s baby. In her interview, Cameran says Whitney holding a baby is like Whitney holding a mop – he’s never done it before, so it’s awkward.

Landon tells Craig there’s hooch out back, and in his interview, he thinks she fits right in with this life. Chelsea eats like a heathen, and Austen wonders if it’s supposed to gross him out or turn him on. She tells Cameran and Whitney that it’s their first date, and Cameran questions if it’s breaking bro code, since Shep kind of had his eye on her. Well, maybe Shep needs to move faster.

Thomas explains polo rules to Austen. Craig wants to give it a go. Thomas’s kids are wheeled past in a giant stroller by the babysitter. Kelsey cries for daddy, but Thomas doesn’t even go over to them, since he wants to concentrate on the game. When Craig suggests he might want to give the child crying for him a hug, Thomas whines that he can’t please everyone. Craig is bothered, but Landon says Thomas is Thomas. Craig wonders how everyone would feel if Kathryn did the same thing. Good point, Craig. Landon thinks Craig doesn’t understand Southern social protocol. Craig tells Cameran about the kids calling for their dad, and him ignoring it, but she thinks it’s a healthy, stable environment. Craig decides to take a breather. In her interview, Cameran thinks he should re-focus his energy on helping himself.

Austen tells Chelsea that Thomas’s team won the match, and she says it’s rigged. Craig talks to Naomie about Thomas’s kids. In her interview, she says nobody likes a meddler. Yeah, unless that meddler is you. All of these people are meddlers.

Shep visits Whitney at his mommy’s house, while still drunk from the reception. He talks about turning 37 soon, and wonders where the years went. He thinks 40 is a good age to take stock, and says he has three years to go before he needs to panic. They make grilled cheese, and Shep asks what he missed. Whitney tells him about Austen and Chelsea being cozy at the polo match, and that he has competition.

Austen tells his roommate Dan about the possible breaking of bro code, but thinks it’s all good.

Shep asks if Austen and Chelsea were doing more than just talking. He wants to be in the know if someone is sitting in his chair. Whitney thinks he’s jealous because he’s been usurped by his protegee.

Kathryn meets Craig for dinner. He welcomes her back. She says she feels great, and asks about the charity event. She says it’s not that she didn’t want to see Thomas, but it didn’t seem like the right time. In his interview, he says he’s proud of her. He tells her about the polo match and Landon co-hosting. He says he thinks it makes Landon feel like she’s living her old life. In her interview, Kathryn says she’s been saying that Landon was pursuing Thomas, and when she reads people, she’s right. Craig tells her about Thomas ignoring the kids, and how he said he can’t please everyone. Kathryn says she has supervised visitation every other weekend. We see a clip of her picking the kids up. Craig wonders if they’ll get to the point where it’s joint custody. She says it’s complicated with all of the rules, and she’s dealing one day at a time.

Chelsea and Austen meet for drinks. They find out they’re both Geminis. She asks if he wants kids, and he tells her yes, but he’s not in a rush. She asks how many one-night stands he’s had. He tells her two or three, but in his interview, it’s a different story. He invites her over for a nightcap.

Shep calls Chelsea, who says she’s dying. She thought it was a good idea to drink Painkillers, and now she’s paying the price. He suggests that next time she goes out drinking, she let him know. We flash back to when they went out with Cameran, and Shep suggests she give him a haircut the next day and then have some fun. In his interview, he says he hates to lose.

Shep calls Landon. She doesn’t pick up, even though she’s looking at the phone. He invites her to his birthday boat cruise. It’s the next day, and I’m puzzled at how invitations always seem to be last-minute with this group. At most, they’re a week ahead of time. And these aren’t casual gettogethers. Either none of these people have anything to do, or they’re incredibly rude. Or both. We flash back to Shep giving Landon advice, and she says she’s not interested in being around him right now. She calls Craig, and asks if he’s going. He says they’ll just give Shep fuel if they don’t show up. He wonders if Shep is being an a-hole or a friend. Landon wishes it wasn’t on a boat, because it makes her feel trapped. Craig wonders if it’s on purpose, and she says she’s a good swimmer.

Naomie and Cameran go for mani/pedis. They talk about Shep’s birthday. Cameran says as the night gets older, he has the mental equivalent of a nine-year-old. They discuss Craig, and Cameran says he told her that he wants to build a real estate portfolio. She just wants him to find his niche. Cameran suggests that Naomie call him on not really wanting to be a lawyer. Naomie says it’s her fault for giving him a “safe space” at home. Cameran tells her that she can’t avoid discussing things because they’re uncomfortable. In her interview, she thinks Naomie is the best thing that’s happened to him, and if he doesn’t change, she’s going out the door. She tells Naomie not to be afraid to talk to him about it.

Shep goes to Chelsea’s salon to get a haircut. He’s taking this as a challenge. Not the haircut, getting together with her. She asks if he has a birthday date, and he says no. She asks if he met anyone at the wedding, and he says he’s weird and picky. He asks who she was with when she got drunk, and she says Austen. He asks if they’re romantically involved, and she says they’re hanging out and getting to know one another. She asks if he cares who she’s smooching, and he says he wants to be kept in the know. She asks about the reverse, and he says that he’s not with a different woman every night, but she says that’s the Shep she knows.

Austen picks out a checked shirt and says “righteous!” No. Just no.

Shep tells us that he loves kooky cocktail attire. When he dresses up, he doesn’t want to be conspicuous, but does want to be noticed. Everyone arrives at the boat. Shep tells Cameran about his haircut, and wonders if Chelsea has seen Austen since they went out drinking. Cameran says maybe they’re just friends, and points out that she and Shep go out together. In his interview, Shep says the definition of hanging out is different for everyone. So is hooking up. There’s awkwardness at the bar, with Shep, Austen, and Chelsea all there. In his interview, Whitney says Shep would do the same thing. Shep and Austen greet each other, and Chelsea looks super uncomfortable.

Craig got stuck in traffic, but manages to get there before launch time. The Caroline Girl shoves off, and Shep’s birthday is announced. Cameran tells Chelsea that the first thing Shep talked about was her going out with Austen. Chelsea says she had a blast with Austen, and felt chemistry. Cameran asks who’s the better kisser, and don’t lie. Chelsea thinks Austen has emotion, whereas Shep was like, you’re a girl and you’re here; there was no connection. Cameran says his reputation precedes him, and Chelsea says he’d have to do a lot to get her to stop thinking of him in that way. In her interview, Cameran says this screws up her grand plan, but maybe it’s a good thing, and will make Shep get it together. She hasn’t lost hope.

Cameran tells Shep about Chelsea and Austen making out. She says he needs to grow a pair. He says it’s easier for him to fool around with someone he doesn’t care about. Cameran says it’s not about that, and asks if he wants to be like Thomas – a fifty-year-old man with no shoelaces. We see Thomas, and sure enough, he’s wearing sneakers with no shoelaces. In his interview, Shep thinks Chelsea looks at him as never being serious.

Shep talks to Landon and Thomas. Landon wants to talk to him privately. Yep, she’s such an idiot, that she’s going to bother him with her feelings at his birthday party. He apologizes for being hard on her, but says he’d feel worse if he hadn’t said something. In her interview, Landon says it wasn’t exactly an apology, but if he wants to think they’re cool, fine.

Thomas tells Whitney that he doesn’t like pear-shaped girls, and he likes Landon’s body. He says that he’s never had “sexual relations with that woman,” but she’s the type he’d like. How repulsive is he? Let me count the ways. Landon sits down, and Thomas asks why he turns her off. She says that he doesn’t totally; they like a lot of the same things. She says a part of her wants to like Thomas, but there’s too much drama. She knows his reputation and current situation, and she was already married to that. Whitney suggests they get it over with, and see if they like it or they don’t, subtlety not being his strong suit.

Shep is getting that weird artist girl to do another painting of him. Chelsea and Austen go out on the deck. Shep acts stupid with the girls. In her interview, Cameran says that, instead of going after Chelsea, in typical Shep fashion, Shep is acting like a horny St. Bernard. He tells Cameran that he’s walking away, and she wonders why he’s even talking about it. He says he doesn’t want to ruin friendships.

Chelsea asks Austen how he feels about their relationship; she’s all about seeing where it goes. She says she likes him, and he says that’s great news.

Cameran says that Shep has a hard time showing his feelings, and he’s going to end up alone with a fridge full of beer. Shep says this is him; he isn’t hiding any inner feelings. Cameran thinks he’s lying, and Shep tells her that she’s wrong.

Next time, an altercation between Jennifer and Kathryn, Thomas thinks he’s lost his judgement skills (if he ever had them), Shep talks to Austen about Chelsea, Shep confronts Austen, and Craig tells Naomie that she’s acting dumb. Again I say, unless he’s not paying back borrowed money, or not paying his share of the bills, who cares what career path, or not, he decides to take?

🍹 Andy had promised all hell would break loose on Watch What Happens Live tonight. It wasn’t quite that, but it was a lot of fun. The guests were Patricia Altschul from Southern Charm and Kelly Osbourne. The best part was Patricia wearing a caftan with a sparkly collar and Pug Chauncy’s face all over it. And she has a line of things she can make for you too! She even presented Andy with Wacha PJs. I did want to yell at the TV a couple of times though. One being when Patricia agreed with Thomas ignoring the kids at the polo match, claiming that polo is a dangerous game, and he really needed to concentrate. I would actually buy that, if it weren’t for Thomas whining that he couldn’t please everyone. Andy also let Kelly plead the fifth twice, which just isn’t right. You can check out Patricia’s pet line at: http://patriciascouture.com/?gclid=CI_Y8dvqvtMCFc9MDQodXoYIhg

😯 In what could possibly be a future unfortunate identity crisis, there is a person named Patricia Couture, who made headlines with some scandal, so if you google it, make sure you put in Patricia‘s Couture or add Altschul.

PatriciaAltschulPetCaftans

 

Jan5

January 4, 2017 – Memories Light the Corners of GH & a Few Random Observations

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Andre is going to hypnotize Anna and explains the process to her. He’s going to guide her to where she feels safe enough to remember what her subconscious is holding back, but can’t make her do anything she doesn’t want to. He tells her everything is under her control, and she can stop it at any time.

Valentin talks to Charlotte on the phone, telling her that he has a wonderful surprise. Nina lounges in the bed next to him, caressing the red roses that are strewn about. I don’t care how bad he is, I’m in.

Finn brings Hayden some real food at the hospital (i.e. a hamburger). She’s desperate to go home.

Franco sees Elizabeth. She says hi, and he keeps walking, but runs into a cart. She tells him he doesn’t have to physically stay away from her, but he says he does.

Alexis meets with Diane at the MetroCourt. Diane has already ordered morning Bloody Marys for both of them. It’s 5 o’clock somewhere, right? Alexis sees the headline about Tom Baker’s murder on Diane’s tablet. She flashes back to seeing him in the dive bar. Diane asks if she’s okay, and she says she’s not.

Alexis points out that Tom was killed on the 21st, and Diane tells her that it doesn’t sound like a great loss. Alexis changes the topic to concentrating on getting her license back. Diane says 2016 was bad for a lot of people, but it’s in the rear-view mirror now. She has great faith in Alexis’s power of persuasion, second only to her own. She says it will all seem like a bad dream soon.

Valentin tells Charlotte he’ll tell her when he gets back, that’s why it’s a surprise. Nina is excited about being with Charlotte, and hopes it will be permanent. She wonders if Charlotte will be as happy as she is about it.

Nathan apologizes to Maxie for the postponement of the wedding. Maxie says no worries, she was a mess. He says he thought she looked beautiful anyway, but she tells him that he’s biased. He tells her that he loves her, and thanks her for being understanding about him still being married to Claudette. He says he’s going to fix it, but Maxie wonders how you can divorce someone who’s vanished into thin air.

Finn says it’s possible Hayden might be released today. She asks if he’s free and clear now too.

Elizabeth tells Franco that he doesn’t have to avoid her. He talks about how it’s obvious she’s unhappy with what he did, but says that she doesn’t want the past hanging over them. Seth storms in, asking why Franco is walking around free when he killed Tom.

Diane tells Alexis to focus on her community involvement and how she’s tried to get her life back on track. Alexis keeps looking at the tablet, and Diane asks her why some miscreant is so important. She tells Diane she has a confession to make, and says she was with Tom the night he was murdered.

Seth asks if Elizabeth is so blinded by her feelings, she doesn’t see who Franco is. Seth gets loud, and Obrecht comes out, asking him what he thinks he’s doing.

Finn tells Hayden his blood work still has to come back. Elizabeth walks in with the test results. Hayden says, speak of the devil, but adds that it’s just an expression.

Maxie looks online, and says Nathan can put something in the paper about divorcing Claudette, and if Claudette doesn’t protest, he can get an automatic divorce. It takes three weeks, which doesn’t thrill Maxie. She says it’s like Claudette exists to ruin their lives. He tells her one way or another, it’s going to happen. She tells him that it would be easier if they could find Claudette.

Valentin tells Nina that Charlotte loves her, but Nina says that’s as a friend. Claudette is the only mother she’s known. Nina says she’s going to support Valentin no matter what, but wonders what will happen when Claudette comes back. Valentin says she won’t.

Andre asks Anna where she is. She’s in the corridor at the WSB. She hears whistling coming from behind a door that has a light coming from under it. She walks toward the door. She opens it. She’s about to step in, and sits up, saying she can’t do it.

Nina asks how Valentin can be sure Claudette isn’t coming back. He says she hasn’t reached out in all this time, and Charlotte isn’t really her daughter; she’s Lulu’s, and Claudette knows that. Nina tells him they’ll present a united front at the hearing, and show that Charlotte will have a stable home. She’s concerned that their spontaneous wedding won’t present the picture of stability they’d like though. She says they don’t even have any pictures. Valentin says he’s a bit of a traditionalist, but they take a selfie showing their ribbon rings. She asks if he found the picture he lost, and he says no, but he’ll always have the memory.

Andre asks if Anna is okay and what she remembered. She says she opened the door, but doesn’t remember anything after that. She asks to be put under again. Andre thinks they should stop for today, but Anna is insistent. He says some part of her isn’t ready, but she says there’s nothing worse than not knowing. She says she’s about to find out the truth, and he has to help her.

Alexis tells Diane that she was at the bar when she ran into Tom. Diane asks what happened after that, but Alexis doesn’t remember. Theme for today: I don’t remember.

Obrecht asks if Seth has any proof that Franco was involved with Tom’s death. He says not yet, but he told the police everything he knows, and there were plenty of witnesses when Franco threatened Tom’s life. He leaves, and Obrecht asks what that was all about. She says she knows he was tracking Tom, but how did Seth know that? And even if he did, why go to the police? Franco says he did more than just stalk Tom.

Finn tells Hayden that her numbers are down. She asks about Finn’s numbers and he won’t say. Elizabeth says his are down too, but I’m guessing that’s only because he’s taking the injections. I’m wondering what the blip happened to Brad making up another dose of the cure.

Maxie suggests to Nathan that they go to Canada and try to track Claudette down. Nina comes in, and tells Maxie that she should be home since she’s sick. A delivery guy brings in some gorgeous white flowers. The card says “to my beautiful bride,” and Maxie says Nathan is sweet, but he tells her that he didn’t send them. Nina says she thinks they’re for her.

Maxie asks whose beautiful bride she is, and Nina says it’s complicated. She tells them about how she and Valentin ended up getting married, using the priest and the chapel when Maxie and Nathan postponed their wedding. Nathan says he’s going to call Diane and get her out of it. Nina says she doesn’t want to get out of it. Nathan insists that Valentin must have coerced her.

Andre hypnotizes Anna again. He wants her to go back to before she noticed the door. She says she was winding her watch.

Elizabeth looks at the test results, and says the drug that Finn is taking is illegal and not widely available. She asks how long he’s been taking it. Hayden explains that he’s not taking it recreationally, but to control the symptoms of the disease, and now he won’t need to take it anymore.

Franco tells Obrecht what he did wasn’t nice, but he didn’t murder Tom. She says there’s only one way to save himself – find out who really killed Tom.

Diane is concerned that Tom might have drugged Alexis or assaulted her, but Alexis says she woke up in her own bed. Diane asks if she remembers anything, and Alexis suggests that maybe nothing memorable happened. Diane tells her that it seems like she’s hiding something, and that has her worried. Alexis says when she saw the article, she remembered seeing Tom. She tells Diane about breaking her promise not to drink, and explains why she ended up at the bar. Diane says not to beat herself up about that, and Alexis thanks her for understanding. Diane thinks the only thing that will make her feel better is to get reinstated. Alexis says she’s been busy dealing with Julian, and amends that to dealing with the Julian fallout when Diane reminds her that she’s not supposed to be around him. Diane tells Alexis not to give the bar association any reason not to reinstate her.

Anna tells Andre that she’s holding the watch when she hears the whistling. Andre tells her to take it slow, remember he’s there, and that nothing can hurt her. She goes toward the door again and opens it.

Nina tells Nathan that she asked Valentin to marry her. Maxie asks if she’s out of her mind, and Nina says it’s the sanest thing she’s done in a long time. She says they’re good together, and it will be good for Charlotte. Maxie says she’s calling Lulu,and Nina tells her that Lulu already knows. Nathan compares it to Nina’s marriage to Ric, and Nina says she’s a different person now, and asks why he can’t respect her decisions. He says she’s only doing this to be a mother to Valentin’s daughter. She says yes, but she wants to be a wife to Valentin too, and wants a family of her own. Nathan asks if they love each other, and she says love is overrated, and they’ll grow to love each other. She wonders what’s so great about love anyway, since her experience with it hasn’t been very good. She says don’t tell her it was a mistake when it’s the smartest thing she’s ever done. Seriously, this might not end well, but Nina is a grown woman who runs a magazine. Nathan needs to quit treating her like she’s infirm and starts respecting her decisions.

Finn says he’ll take Hayden back to Tracy’s, but she thinks they should celebrate along with Roxie. She says they could swing by the pet store for crickets, order room service, and toast to their good fortune. He tells her to get dressed and he’ll be right back. In the hallway, he almost collapses and sits on the floor.

Nina blows Nathan off and takes the flowers into her office. Maxie tells him she left a message for Lulu, and points out what a mess this is. Nathan says he’ll be waiting with a team of lawyers when Nina comes to her senses. He thinks there’s no way it won’t end badly, and they agree to be there for her. Nathan decides to go to Canada and visit Claudette’s mom. Maxie says she’s coming with him.

Nina talks to herself about building a family with Charlotte and Valentin. She’s going to stop dreaming about the child she might have someday, and concentrate on the one she has now.

Valentin whistles as he gets dressed. He deletes Claudette as a contact on his phone.

His whistling turns into the whistling in Anna’s memory. She sees her watch smashed, and sits up. Andre tells her she’s safe. She says she remembered more. She thinks she dropped her watch because it was broken, and the face was stopped 11:05 on October 29, her birthday.

Hayden puts her cactus next to her suitcase. Finn finds some privacy for his injection. He hesitates.

Obrecht says she hopes Elizabeth is happy that Franco wants to prove himself worthy. Elizabeth asks Obrecht if she thinks he won’t do crazy things anymore, and Obrecht asks if she does.

Franco goes to the dive bar. He asks the bartender for a double shot of the truth. He shows the bartender Tom’s picture and asks who he talked to when he was there on the 21st.

Tomorrow, Carly tells Sonny that they should talk, Curtis tells someone to confess, and the bartender tells Alexis that they both know more than they’re saying about the night Tom was murdered.

👒 Little Women: Atlanta premieres tonight. While I give it a look-see once in a while, it’s not on my must see list anymore. Besides the pretty consistent fighting, throwing things, fighting, dumping things on each other, and fighting, I find it hard to take anyone named “Juicy” seriously. It’s bad enough I have to deal with “Plastic” on Little Women: LA.

🎤 Nothing new on Bravo tonight, but Andy Cohen premiered his new clubhouse on Watch What Happens Live last night. Surprise! It looks just like the old one, except a little bigger with double the audience capacity, which is now about 32 people.

🌟 I highly recommend Star, now in its regular time slot on Wednesday nights at 9 pm on FOX. The story is great (three girls trying to make it big in the Atlanta music industry), the casting is fabulous (Queen Latifah, Lenny Kravitz, Benjamin Bratt, et al), and the music – much of it original, with a few old favorites thrown in, like tonight’s Deee-Lite number – rocks. Naomi Campbell just called someone an “insolent hussy,” and it was everything. It makes me desperately want to vogue.

Aug3

August 2, 2016 – GH is Off the Island, the Haves are Off the Chain & the Shahs Reunite

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Dante did tackle Sam. And she was right. Jason is back.

Valentin is in Port Charles, sans mustache. He startles Nina, who has dropped her keys. She tells him that her ex-boyfriend has her distracted. Because you always give strangers information like that.

Jordan tells Franco that they have some more questions. She says there was another suspicious death at the hospital and Franco is a person of interest.

Jocelyn gets a text from Jax that he’s back in town. Carly tells Jax she’s dropping the organ donor search, but he doesn’t believe her. She says the conversation is over and he says it’s just getting started. He tells her his mission is to protect their daughter and she’s being misguided.

Jordan wants Franco to come to the station. Elizabeth says she and Franco have been together several hours, so he couldn’t have just killed someone. Jordan mentions the vial he had when he was at the hospital. He says he picked it up off the floor in Miss Prescott’s room. Jordan says she’s dead now and it tested positive for the drug that killed the other patients.

Valentin tells Nina her ex sounds like a real tool and I laugh. Nina says she’s going to call it a night. Valentin, who has somehow wormed his way into her room, apologizes for her lousy night and she thanks him for making the end better. He tells her she’s better off without her ex. Before he leaves, he asks her if she’s with Crimson. She says she’s the editor, and he asks if she’s Nina Reeves. He says he didn’t grow up with the finer things and had to educate himself.

Jason says he managed to turn off the engines, but the plane still caught fire. He ran and the explosion knocked him out. Lulu says everyone is fine considering they don’t know where they are. They tell Jason about the boat and he suggests a plan to make a signal fire. Ava says Valentin could still be looking for them.

Valentin says Crimson keeps him current. A women’s fashion magazine? Really? They somehow get on the subject of Nicholas. Nina says she was going to do an interview with him before his death.

Jocelyn is excited about her father being in town and Sonny suggests they surprise him at the MetroCourt.

Carly says she thinks it’s smart to have the medical history of the donor, but Jocelyn asked her to stop the search, so she did. Jax says he knows her M.O. and she’ll agree to something and then do what she wants behind someone’s back. He says doing a complete 180 isn’t her, but lying about something is.

Valentin introduces himself as Theo Hart. Okay, we’re back to that name. Nina asks him about the cut over his eye. He says someone treated him unkindly, but he’s sure they’re very sorry right now.

Ava says Valentin must have sabotaged the plane, and might have guards around. Jason says they’ll take the chance. Lulu and Laura talk about Nicholas. Lulu says before this, all she and Dante could think about was creating a new life, and now she can only think about death. Laura says they have to stay strong for Spencer.

Spencer calls Nicholas’s cell phone and leaves a message apologizing for letting the cat out of the bag. A camp counselor comes in and asks him what he has under the blanket.

Sonny asks Kristina if she’s okay. She says she’s okay and he tells her that she can always come to him. She says things aren’t perfect, but it’s nothing they can solve in one night. Sonny leaves and she tells Morgan about Sonny finding out Parker was a woman. He’s like, I told you so, and she tells him how Sonny found out.

Jax tells Carly she hasn’t thought things out. She says she just wants to help their daughter. They talk about the transplant and Jax says if they find out a child died for the organ, Jocelyn will be devastated. Carly says she’d never give Jocelyn that information, but Jax says it’s got a way of getting out.

Franco explains how he left a statue for Miss Prescott and Jordan says the vial he was holding had the drug in it. She says they didn’t find a syringe though, and asks if he’d object to a search of the studio. He says it’s a witch hunt and if she wants to search, get a warrant.

Jocelyn and Sonny show up at the MetroCourt. Jocelyn says she was too excited to wait to see him. Jax tells Sonny he knows his visit must be a surprise. Sonny says maybe to Carly, but not to him.

Nina tells Theo that she’s worked hard to turn the magazine around. He asks if she has any juicy details about the piece she was going to do on Nicholas. She tells him to drop the act and says she knows what he’s trying to do.

Jason tells Sam he’s sore, but nothing is broken. Dante tells Jason that he’ll make sure he’s cleared of any charges in Nicholas’s death. Ava says Nicholas made a bad decision he couldn’t outrun. Sam says she helped him frame Jason. Ava asks if that even matters anymore, and everyone agrees they want to get home to their children.

Laura takes Lulu aside. She says if someone sees the signal, they’ll be okay. Laura sees the bracelet on Lulu and says she doesn’t remember her wearing it. Lulu says it was on a skeleton in one of the access tunnels. Laura is like, you don’t think…? and Lulu says she doesn’t want to believe it, but it’s possible Luke is dead.

Spencer’s counselor tells him to go to sleep. As soon as the counselor is gone, Spencer calls Laura and leaves a detailed message about his performance in the camp play.

Ava says she’ll tend to the signal fire, while Sam takes a break. Laura tells Lulu that this could all be a massive set-up by Helena. She says Helena wanted them to find the skeleton. Lulu says Helena wouldn’t have known Nicholas was going to fake his death and Valentin would show up. Laura says Helena sent her on a wild goose chase and wanted her to come there. Lulu says what if they’re wrong and Luke is really dead.

Nina says every time she wants to talk about Theo, he turns the conversation around to her. She says he doesn’t have to work so hard for her to forget her ex-boyfriend. Theo gives her more compliments and she goes all Blanche DuBois about depending on the kindness of strangers. Nina actually is like Blanche in a lot of ways. She says it’s nice to know there are gentlemen in the world and they kiss. Holy! It would be radical if she somehow got pregnant by him.

Kristina tells Morgan about Sonny seeing her and Parker kiss and that her assumption about his reaction was wrong. Morgan says he’s jealous because she’s doubled her dating playing field. She says she wishes she could think about it like that, but it’s about the individual person. She tells him about the letter from Parker. He asks about Aaron. She says he deserved to know the truth, so she told him, and now she’s alone.

Jocelyn asks if Jax can stay with them and Carly says okay. He leaves with Jocelyn, and Sonny asks Carly what the blip Jax is doing in Port Charles.

Elizabeth tells Franco the request is reasonable. He wonders what happened to innocent until proven guilty. He says because the police can’t do their job, they want to pin the murders on him, and tells Jordan to come back with a warrant. She says they have cause to hold him for 24-hours.

Theo and Nina get busy. While I have nothing against a single woman doing what she wants, I wonder if it’s wise to hook up with a stranger you met in the hall of a hotel. A little reckless of Nina.

Laura thanks Jason. She says he wouldn’t have been there in the first place if it hadn’t been for Nicholas. She hopes that for her and Spencer’s sakes, he can remember that Nicholas was a good man for most of his life. They hear another boat. Dante thinks it’s the naval patrol and they all start yelling. Laura ponders the bracelet.

Carly tells Sonny about her discussion with Jax. She’s concerned about what he said, that secrets never stay that way. Sonny says the last thing he wants to do is agree with Jax, but if Jocelyn finds out she didn’t call off the search, it could be a problem. Carly says hell must have frozen over for Sonny and Jax to be on the same page, and Sonny wonders what Jax is really up to.

Jax tells Jocelyn blah-blah-blah father stuff. She goes to the washroom and he picks up his phone. He says he’s calling with an update.

Franco asks what kind of public apology he can expect when this is over. He tells Elziabeth that this is all nonsense. He leaves with Jordan and Elizabeth follows.

Kristina wonders how Morgan would feel if Kiki had slept with a woman who she was possibly in love with. He says it wouldn’t matter whether it was a man or a woman, he doesn’t want to share her and that’s probably how Aaron felt. He asks if she’s in love with Parker. She says it seems fast, but she’d never felt the way she did when they spent the night together. She says she really liked Aaron, but now she has neither one of them. Morgan says but she still has her big, dysfunctional family.

Carly says she and Jax have always gotten along. Sonny says he’s suspicious of Jax and wonders what’s behind his stupid smile.

Jax tells whoever is on the phone that he’s gotten info from Carly and Sonny is a problem.

The rescue in Greece happens, but Laura is bummed. She feels like she’s leaving Nicholas and Luke behind. She starts to cry and Lulu says they have to be there for Spencer.

Theo sees two calls from Spencer on Nicholas’s phone. I see the wheels turning in his head How much you want to bet he’s headed to camp?

Tomorrow, Nathan tells Valerie it’s an order, Griff wonders if Franco could be the murderer, and Franco asks Scotty if he believes in his innocence.

The Haves and the Have Nots

DA Jennifer asks Hannah to get Kathryn. Hannah wants more information first. Jennifer says she gets Hannah doesn’t want to lose her job, but Hannah tells her she doesn’t work there anymore. Jennifer balks at Hannah being friends with the woman who covered up the hit and run of her son. She says she needs to talk to Kathryn about Wyatt. Hannah says Kathryn doesn’t need to hear anything else about that, but agrees to get her. Jennifer asks why there was an ambulance at the Cryer house and Hannah says there was an accident, but if she wants any more information, she’ll have to ask the Cryers.

Hannah tells Kathryn someone wants to talk to her. Kathryn asks who, but Hannah says she needs to see for herself. Hannah finally tells her it’s the DA and Kathryn goes flying down the stairs.

Kathryn asks if Jennifer has lost the little brain she has. She says Jennifer is the reason her son is dead and asks the officer for his gun so he can shoot her. The cop is like, um, you can’t threaten an officer of the court like that and Jennifer says she needs to listen. Kathryn says unless Jennifer is going to tell her that her son is alive, she has nothing to say. Jennifer says he is. Psyche! She says he was unconscious for 32 hours and his breathing was so shallow and his pulse so faint, the officer who found him though he was dead. Kathryn asks what kind of idiots work for her and I concur. Jennifer says Wyatt is in a medically induced coma.

Kathryn tells Jennifer to stick everything where the sun don’t shine. She says she won’t see him that way. She tells Jennifer to return him the way she found him before she pumped 12 million into his veins and up his nose. She says until then, Jennifer is her enemy. Jennifer tells her to be careful what she says in front of witnesses. Kathryn says get out of my house, bitch, and I applaud.

Jennifer and company leave. Kathryn falls to her knees. Hannah asks if she’s really not going to see Wyatt and Kathryn says she ca’t see him that way. She tells Hannah about her last image of Amanda and says she does’t want her last image of Wyatt with all kinds of tubes in him. Hannah understands and asks if Kathryn minds if she goes. Kathryn was hoping she’d say that.

It’s no secret that Tyler Perry is a Christian. Many fundamentalists call him a “Hollywood Christian,” (in other words, a sell out) but I think he’s doin’ it right. Hannah is a great character. She tries to be a good Christian, but she’s flawed as we all are. In the long run though, she does what’s right. She swore she’d have nothing to do with Kathryn, yet she’s the best friend Kathryn’s got.

Candace calls Erica. Erica asks for a picture of Oscar and Candace sends it. Erica tells Candace she’s looking right at him. She’s at a bar in town, waiting for a client named Grayson. Candace tells Erica to keep Oscar there. She says she’ll do the best she can.

Erica approaches the bar. She asks the bartender for a Cosmo and makes small talk with Oscar. She asks if he’d like to go out some time, but Oscar says no. He’s like, I’m with someone, and Erica apologizes, slipping him her number. She goes back to her table. Grayson comes in and sits with her.

Candace calls Erica. Erica talks cryptically and Candace realizes Oscar is leaving. Erica makes something up about her car and excuses herself from the table. She sees Oscar outside. She bribes a valet to put a phone under Oscar’s car seat. She tells Candace she thinks she has a plan and will call her later.

When Candace gets home, there’s a police car out front, which should be no surprise at this point. She finds Jeffrey in the backyard with Justin. She asks what they’re doing. Jeffrey says he told Justin what he did. She tells them to come inside. Jeffrey says he’s going to jail. She tells Justin to leave and he says he can’t. She asks Jeffrey why. He says Justin knows and Candace asks what exactly. Jeffrey says that he stabbed his mother. Justin says there’s no warrant out and Candace asks why they’re out there again. Justin says the phone reception is better. Candace suggests Jeffrey should have stayed at his hotel.

Candace goes inside and calls Benny. He says he couldn’t find out anything and she says they might have a problem since Jeffrey is there with a cop. She says his mother knows about the package and Benny tells her to leave now. She says she’ll call him back and hangs up. Candace tells Jeffrey that she called a contact at the hospital and his mother wasn’t brought in. She asks to talk to Jeffrey inside.

Candace asks Jeffrey why he brought Justin there and if he told Justin about Quincy. Jeffrey says no and he didn’t know what he was thinking. He says Candace is the one who said he should get to know Justin. She says he was supposed to get Justin’s weaknesses, not give out his own. Jeffrey is befuddled and Candace tells him to get Justin’s ass out of there now.

Justin comes in and tells Jeffrey that Veronica isn’t dead. He asks where she is, and Justin says an ambulance. Jeffrey says she’s going to be coming for him. Justin asks what that means and Candace says he can go now. Jeffrey wants him there and says Justin is his friend. Justin says don’t mistake him doing his job for friendship and leaves. He’s a confusing dude.

Candace tells Jeffrey that if Veronica was going to call the cops, she would have already. Jeffrey asks why she wouldn’t, and Candace says the same reason a snake waits to strike – timing. He tells her it’s too much.

Hannah goes to the hospital and finds David with Wyatt. She says Katherine isn’t coming because she can’t handle it and she’s there to find out what’s going on. David says the test results are coming and asks how she is. Hannah asks how his wife is and suggests he check on that. The doctor comes in and says that Wyatt is doing well, considering. Hannah asks why he’s so out of it and the doctor says they put him in a medically induced coma because he was having seizures. She asks about brain damage and the doctor says there isn’t any, but they need to watch the brain activity. The next 48 hours is crucial.

David tells Hannah to let Kathryn know what’s going on and she tells him to let Jim know. She calls Kathryn.

Veronica insists she doesn’t have implants. The doctor says okay then, her breast has ruptured. Veronica goes on about malpractice and how she doesn’t want a scar. David walks in and asks what happened. Veronica tells the doctor to leave. He says they’re in the middle of stitching and when the anesthesia wears off, she’s going to be in pain. She tells him to get out.

David asks what happened. Veronica says Jeffrey happened; he stabbed her. He says Bobby Safeman and she’s like what? He talks about Jeffrey being bullied and how the teachers told them, but Jeffrey never said anything and let it fester. He says one day Bobby said one thing too many and Jeffrey beat him into a coma. He says she defended them against the lawsuit that his parents filed and she should be grateful that Jeffrey didn’t have a baseball bat. He suggests she admit she has implants so that her sorry life can be saved.

Benny shows up at Candace’s. Jeffrey is resting and Benny wants to talk to him. Erica arrives next. She tells Candace they need to take a ride right now. Candace tells Benny good-by and he leaves. Candace leaves with Erica.

Erica tells Candace about slipping the phone in Oscar’s car. They take off. Benny comes back as soon as they’re gone. He tells Jeffrey to open the door. Jeffrey lets Benny in, telling him Candace isn’t there. Benny says he wants to talk to Jeffrey. Jeffrey says he has nothing to tell him. Benny says he has something to tell Jeffrey’s daddy. Jeffrey says David already knows about him and Veronica. Benny says Jeffrey needs to tell his daddy to leave him and his phones alone, and that there’s nothing going on between him and Veronica, or he’ll tell David Jeffrey’s secret. Jeffrey says he’ll tell David. But doesn’t David know he’s gay?

The phone rings. It’s David. That’s pretty convenient. David tells Jeffrey he just saw Veronica in the hospital and they need to talk. He says Veronica is fine, but they need to talk about Jeffrey’s rage. He asks why Jeffrey did it and Jeffrey says it just happened. David asks what Veronica has on him and says he’ll help him. Benny keeps bugging Jeffrey in the background. Jeffrey tells David that if he doesn’t stop interfering in Benny’s business, Benny will tell him Jeffrey is gay. Ha-ha! David tells Jeffrey to put Benny on the phone and says he’ll meet Benny at the tow yard in three hours. Back to Jeffery – he asks if Jeffrey is okay and says he’ll do whatever he needs to do to protect him. Jeffrey asks if Veronica killed Maggie. David says nothing and Jeffrey asks if he saw Wyatt. He says he’s about to call Jim with the good news that Wyatt is going to be fine and explains what happened. This perks Jeffrey up some.

Candace and Erica find Oscar’s car. Candace says it’s Jim’s house and they wonder why Oscar would be there. Mitch suddenly pops up and asks what Candace is doing there. Mitch tells her about David messing with Benny’s phones and then asks if she knows what happened to War. He tells her about War getting popped for drugs. Candace asks him to please tell her that he didn’t do it for her because War will kill her.

War gets put into a cell next to Jim because no one ever leaves a holding cell in this town. War says they meet again.

Next time, Benny tells David to leave him alone, Jim tells War that he’s stupid, and Veronica threatens Jeffrey.

The Shahs of Sunset – Reunion Part One

Andy makes his usual attempt at greeting everyone in Persian. All of the Shahs look fabulous and I’m loving Asa’s bling. The table is piled high with amazing snacks and we flash back to all the wonderful eating moments throughout the season.

We start with Shervin and flash back to his first disastrous date with Annalise. Surprisingly, she’s still in the picture. She lives in Australia, so it’s a bit of a long distance thing. Shervin is teased about his fear of bats. We get a little of Shervin’s history – he was born in Iran, but grew up in Alabama.

GG talks about her friendship with Shervin and how loyalty is everything to her. Reza interjects that GG is a horrible person and before we know it, we’re on to GG saying she has a sex tape of him. She denies saying she actually had it, but that’s not what the video says. Already, the insults and arguments start.

Andy cuts that short and moves on to Reza and Adam’s wedding. Everyone marvels at how views have changed, since Reza is Persian, gay and got married on national TV. They talk about the surprise wedding. Reza says he had to make a grand gesture to make up for leaving Adam at the altar in the previous season. He says his mother is anxious for grandchildren and is telling him to buy some on the internet.

They discuss MJ involving herself in Reza’s wedding plans. Mike says he thinks she was jealous that he discussed it with Asa first. Andy asks Reza how he felt about MJ talking to Adam about standing up for himself behind Reza’s back. Reza says MJ means well, but tends to stick her nose where it doesn’t belong. Somehow this goes to a story about a buffet where MJ was late, where MJ makes a point about feeling left out. Asa says a lot of MJ’s decisions are based on jealousy and she’s not a loyal friend. She says she’s always rooting for MJ’s happiness, but MJ isn’t happy for Asa’s success.

MJ talks about Vida offending Asa and Asa taking it out on her, saying MJ was behind it. MJ can’t understand how Asa could think MJ could put ideas in Vida’s head. Asa calls her jealous again. MJ says Asa is thin-skinned and they’ll never be friends again. She adds an FU to emphasize her irritation.

Reza says he hates where the two of them are at, but he understands and feels for the both of them. Andy asks Mike if he thinks the friendship can be repaired. He says they’ve insulted each other in every possible way and always bounce back.

Andy goes over the various trips the Shahs took this season. We revisit Reza’s practical joke of spraying “liquid ass” in the RV. MJ says they can never go through the airport without going through an extra search line. We flash back to the GGvention during the camping trip. Mike says he hates camping and hopes she appreciates that they did it for her. Andy says GG was trashed for most of the trip and she says her drinking was out of hand, but she’s doing better now. MJ says no one got a thank you, and GG says she was in a bad place. Mike agrees that she’s gotten better.

Reza says GG is mentally unstable and he’s afraid of her and worried for her.

To lighten the mood, Andy moves on to Mike’s marriage or lack thereof. Mike says he misses Jessica very much, but he was irresponsible. They’re not legally divorced yet, as Mike says it takes a while in California. He goes down Memory Lane about how he and Jessica met and he knew she was the one. We flash back to various scenes in their relationship, including the wedding. I’m sure Mike must feel just peachy right now.

Commercial break with important information: The reunion concludes Wednesday, August 3, at 10 pm. More good news – Below Deck with the original cast, including Chef Ben, is coming back.

Mike says he screwed up and if he had a chance to do it over, he wouldn’t make the same mistakes. Now we flash back to the crappy stuff. Andy asks why Mike hid Jessica’s leaving from the group. He says some things you don’t share. Andy asks if he thought he could repair things and he says he did. The topic of Jessica having been seen with new guys comes up. Mike says the break-up wasn’t as hard as seeing her move on. We see tweets between MJ and Jessica. MJ says Jessica thought Mike was a gravy train. Mike disagrees. Andy reads some tweets between Jessica and Reza. He tends to agree that Jessica is a gold digger. He says the whole time Mike was trying to get her back, another guy was in the picture. Mike thinks she was just getting back at him. He says he gets where his friends are coming from, but he’ll always protect her.

Mike has been dating, but he’s not ready for anything serious. His friends and family have been his saving grace. He says it took months and a lot of Justin Bieber to get past it. He definitely wants to get married again and have a family.

We move to MJ. She talks about meeting Tommy for the first time. Andy asks Reza about his take on the relationship. He says MJ needs a gritty guy from Queens like Tommy. Andy asks if Vida has come around yet and MJ says no.

Vida and Tommy join the group. This ought to be good. We flash back to Vida’s disapproval of the relationship. Andy is hoping she’s changed her mind by now and I laugh my head off. Tommy could save Vida and her dog from a burning building and she won’t change her mind. She says the more she gets to know Tommy, the more convinced she is that he’s wrong for MJ. Tommy says it doesn’t matter, MJ’s is the only opinion that counts. Vida brings up the nakey pictures that Asa took of Tommy and MJ, like they were Tommy’s idea. She says she’d have to see a big change for her to bless their union.

Andy asks if she’s excited to be a grandma and Vida tells him not to encourage them. MJ says she’s going to be an amazing grandmother. MJ says that her number one reason for wanting a baby is to keep her line going since her father is so cool. They talk about MJ’s father, who basically raised her because of Vida’s work schedule, which I didn’t know. MJ says she was the son her father never had and I totally relate. I always say that about my father. MJ gets emotional. Mike says Tommy might not be the perfect match in Vida’s eyes, but they’ll make it work.

Reza says he’ll always be indebted to MJ’s mom and dad, because he came out to them before his own parents. Andy points out the obvious, how Reza got love and acceptance from MJ’s parents, while MJ longs for it from Vida.

We see clips of Vida on Watch What Happens Live, making comments about each of the Shahs. Mike says her perception of people is way off base. Vida tells Mike he’s more beautiful than Jessica, but Mike doesn’t like her talking that way. Asa says she respects Vida, but she’s hypercritical.

Andy asks Vida if MJ had fed her ideas as to what to say on the show and Vida says no. Asa tries some kumbaya talk, but MJ isn’t having any, saying the friendship is over after what Asa said. Mike tells her not to say things she’ll regret, and MJ says she won’t regret it.

Next time, the topic of adoption comes up, Mike is accused of not respecting women, GG goes off like a rocket, making Reza run off the stage, crying about his credibility. My question is this – assuming there’s no truth to there being a sex tape, why would GG saying there was one ruin anybody’s credibility? It’s not like she’s known for truth telling.

May10

May 9, 2016 — GH, the Charm of the South & the Wives of Dallas

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Jason comes to and asks if anyone is hurt. He sees the police van driver is out cold, but his phone is broken. He checks for a pulse, but the driver is dead. He keeps yelling if there’s anybody there. He sees Dante unconscious and pinned under the van. All of a sudden Robin is there and says Jason has to save him. I had to think for a second, wondering if she had died, but she only moved to Berkeley (I’m sitting on myself not to make a joke here), so I guess Jason is imagining this.

Jason asks Robin what she’s doing there and she says she’s not really there. He says he must be hallucinating, but she says she’s there to tell him what he already knows.

Danny is off visiting the Quartermaine’s new puppy, Annabelle II. Sam tells Michael that Monica said they were only going to be ten minutes, but it’s been a while. She wants Danny to enjoy himself though.

Jason asks if he’s unconscious and Robin tells him don’t be stupid. Not really, but close. He says the driver is dead and the motorcycle isn’t operational. Even if it was, since he’s talking to someone who’s not there, he says it’s highly doubtful he can drive. He asks Robin what to do and she says she could never tell him what to do, but he should do what he thinks is right. So what good is she?

He’s afraid to move Dante, but if he doesn’t, the flipped van could come down on him. Robin asks what he would want were he in Dante’s position. Jason says he’d want to get out of there. He adds he has a family now and doesn’t want to risk getting hurt himself. Robin tells him that sometimes it’s okay to take a risk. He examines Dante and decides he needs to get him out.

Jason tries to wake Dante, but nothing happens. He checks out the logistics of the van. Carly pops into the picture. She says a few more inches, and he wouldn’t be able to get Dante out at all and to be grateful for what he has. He says she must be there to tell him about all the near misses he’s had.

Sam and Michael talk about Jason. Michael says he seemed the way he used to be, but they’re not connecting. Sam says she understands. She tried telling Jason stories about the past, but he doesn’t connect with them.

Carly tells Jason he has to move the van without crushing Dante. He tells Carly that his head is pounding so badly he can’t see straight. She says quitting is a bad habit you can get addicted to. He says she’s never quit anything and she says that’s because she has him. He says he must have hit his head and Carly says if he says so. She adds that’s what she says when she’s lying to herself. (Huh?)

Sam asks Michael why he was talking to Carrrlos. Michael says it doesn’t matter because Jason talked him out of it. She says she realizes the memories she had with Jason are her memories now, but not his.

Jason takes the driver out of the van. Carly wonders what happened and Jason says it looks like a prisoner transport van, but the prisoner is probably running. Jason gets in the van. Carly asks what he’s waiting for and he says he has to check the fuel line first. No good. It’s leaking.

Sam says Jason is alive and well, and she’s being ridiculous. Michael says you can be grateful for what’s happening now and still miss the past things. She says since Helena cursed Sam on her death bed, she’s felt weird. She remembers Helena cursed her parents as well and they’ve had nothing but misery lately.

Jason wonders where the jack is. Helena appears and says it would be unwise to have one in a prisoner transport van. Helena says he doesn’t remember anything and never will, and he’ll never remember what happened to Jake on Cassadine Island. She says lifting the van is outside of his skill set. She says he’s on a deserted road with nothing to improvise with. Guess again, Helena. Jason grabs a street sign and he says he can lift the van with that. Helena says or cause Dante to get crushed. She tells him he can’t succeed, but conditioning won’t allow him to give up.

Sam goes through the stuff that’s happened since Helena died — like it’s any different from any other time on GH. They talk about Julian. She says she loves her father, but knows the score, and Alexis seems to be going along with it. Michael says he thinks Alexis is about to snap.

Helena tells Jason his head hurts because he’s trying to remember. She says she oversaw his conditioning and knows him better than he knows himself. She tells him to ride away and forget Port Charles and go back to his original mission. Sam is there and says he can beat Helena; she doesn’t control him anymore.

Helena says bravo, he’s conjured up a last memory of Sam before he loses the memories forever. She says he’s telling himself it can’t get worse, but it can and it will.

Michael asks Sam if she thinks she’s going to lose Jason. She says no, and he’s not interested in working for Sonny anymore. She says the only reason Julian stood a chance is because of her, Alexis and Danny. Michael says his father will avoid collateral damage, but he can’t let this go on forever. Sam says maybe Carrrlos will flip on Julian.

Helena says that Jason will sleep and when he wakes up, his memory will be wiped clean. He promises that he’ll fight to the last second and she tells him to suit himself. He tells Sam he wants to spend the time he has left with her.

Sam believes that Julian is a better man with Alexis and Michael says Jason is a better man with Sam.

Sam tells Jason he broke Helena’s conditioning before and he can do it again. He tells Sam he loves her, and says how strong and fearless she is. He says he’s glad their son has her for a mother. He says he can’t believe he’s going to lose his memories of her.

Michael says even when Jason was with Elizabeth, it was like he was fighting himself because he didn’t belong there. Sam wonders if it’s that simple, that two people just belong together. Michael says not so simple, some people never find that person, but she and Jason did.

Jason goes back to Dante. The bleeding is getting worse and Sam tells him to move the van. He uses the street sign as a lever and passes out. Now the fuel line is leaking like crazy. What the blip happened to Nathan? If the driver is dead and Dante is half-dead, how did Nathan and Carrrlos both get out and get away so quickly? For a moment, I actually got this show mixed up with Once Upon A Time, since I watch way too much TV.

Sonny appears, telling Jason to help his son. Jason goes to the bike. He says he’s leaving and Sonny asks if it’s because Helena told him to. Jason says Helena doesn’t control him, he makes his own choices. Sonny says Jason is there because he’s fighting Helena and he’s there to help Jason take his life back. Jason says his life was never his own, it was Helena’s, Elizabeth’s, Sam’s, and mostly Sonny’s. Sonny asks if he’s just a puppet. Jason says they were friends.

Danny comes back. He says don’t tell Aunt Tracy that Annabelle II peed in her closet. Michael suggests they do their exploring outside until the puppy is housebroken. Michael leaves to run puppy interference. Sam asks where his daddy is.

Jason remembers how he and Sonny met. He says Sonny never talked down to him, always treated him with respect, and never pressured him. He says Sonny taught him that everything has consequences and you’re responsible for your own life. If you don’t own it, you become a victim of your own life. He talks about how Sonny was never a victim even in his darkest time. Jason makes another try at moving the van.

Danny asks why daddy doesn’t live with them. Sam says they’re not there yet, but they’re getting there. She says just be grateful daddy is with them and nothing will take him away again.

Jason finally gets the van to move a little, but sparks start happening from undeneath. I can’t even figure out how Dante ended up there. Was the driver the only one wearing a seat belt? And how come he died? This isn’t a very good promotion for wearing them.

Sam tucks Danny in. He asks her to sing for him and she says he’s the only person in the world who likes hearing her sing. Okay, let’s have it. Sam sings a lullaby and it’s not that bad.

As she sings, Jason pulls Dante away from the van and it explodes.

This was a really good episode. It took place in only two settings and was very nicely edited. It was great to see Helena and Robin again too. I’m telling you, Helena will never die.

Tomorrow, Nathan calls for help, Carrrlos is on the run, and Anna asks Griff if he was shot.

Southern Charm

Ew! Landon! I spent all week forgetting about her.

Craig and Naomie are snug in their new home. Craig says he doesn’t want the one thing he messes up to be Naomie. He’s gotten her a ring, so she can have a piece of jewelry that “connects” them. He pretends he wants her to help him pick out a watch and brings out a watch jewelry box with the ring in the middle. Cute. He’s expecting to be made head of the bourbon division by JD. He thinks if you work hard, everything else will fall into place. Well, sometimes.

Cameran is picking Shep up for their first listing appointment. He’s just making breakfast at one o’clock and even though his birthday party the night before was a dry night, she’s worried he went out drinking afterward. Please tell me why she picked the day after his birthday to make this appointment?

Shep asks Cameran if Kathryn called her and he practically has to drag the information out of her. He says it’s easy to take the high road, but Cameran says her life is busy enough without adding Kathryn to it.

Kathryn feels discouraged because everyone is rebuffing her, and she thinks she should reconsider who she’s reaching out to. She calls Elizabeth who I’m not sure is the next best choice. She says they were close at one time and when she broke up with Thomas (bleh), she distanced herself because Elizabeth’s husband, JD, is Thomas’s best friend. She tells Elizabeth that she misses talking to her and wants to get together.

Cameran isn’t sure that Shep understands that being her “apprentice” is actual work. They look at the house, a “quintessential historical Southern mansion.” It’s absolutely beautiful. Shep thinks real estate isn’t brain surgery and is more personality driven, which he has down. I think he’s right. They discuss the house while sitting on the elliptical porch. Cameran gets annoyed because Shep is getting too involved. If it wasn’t for the heat, I’d probably love Charleston. At least the architecture.

Landon’s dad calls her. She says that she’s taking his advice and concentrating on one idea. We’ll see if this lasts more than five minutes. She has a friend in New York who’s an Internet entrepreneur and he’s agreed to meet with her.

JD asks Craig for a hotel update. He says the demolition work is completed. In his interview, Craig says work on the hotel isn’t exactly stimulating. JD says he wants to do a bourbon tasting and needs Craig to come up with a list of invitees and send out emails. He says he’s also bringing Dani in, since she has 15 years experience in the liquor business. Craig says he wants their bourbon to be something that non-bourbon drinkers will drink but bourbon drinkers will respect. JD says he doesn’t need him to invent the wheel (isn’t that reinvent?), just put air in the tires.

Kathryn visits Elizabeth. Elizabeth tells the kids that Kathryn is pregnant and one them asks Kathryn how she got a baby in there. Elizabeth says they’ll talk about that later. Ha-ha! Elizabeth asks Kathryn if something is going on she’s not aware of, since Kathryn hasn’t answered any of her calls or texts for months. She also brings up the polo match debacle. Kathryn says she was going through a phase where she cut everyone out, but she didn’t know who she could be safe around. Elizabeth says as Kensie’s godmother, she would never turn her back on Kathryn, and that’s a promise. Touching moment. Kathryn apologizes and starts to cry. Elizabeth says she wants their kids to grow up together.

Commercial break with important information, Odd Mom Out starts Monday, June 20 @ 10 pm. Since I don’t have kids (not two-legged ones anyway), I didn’t think I’d relate to this show, but it’s hysterically funny and very New York-ish. I was pleasantly surprised.

Thomas (bleh) shows Shep around his new house. Shep says Thomas is interesting because you never know what you’re going to get, but when he’s in a good mood, he’s a barrel of laughs. I have yet to see this. Shep asks what’s been up since the Flamingo Party.

Thomas tells him about talking to Kathryn and getting a barrage of anger about Shep’s birthday party. Shep says Landon claims she invited Kathryn, but he doesn’t really know. Thomas wants Kathryn to be calm for the baby’s sake, but Shep thinks he’s being melodramatic.

Landon goes to the meeting with Lockhart in the city. She says he’s head of a media conglomerate and they cover a lot of things except for travel. It’s too bad she doesn’t focus on that when she pitches her idea. He wants the idea in a couple of sentences, however, she can’t even give him two complete sentences. He says it sounds like stuff that’s already out there. He asks what kind of a voice she wants it to have and tells her to create a prototype that he could give her feedback about. In her interview she says that she’s always seen herself as very successful, and thinks her enthusiasm alone will propel her ahead, but she doesn’t even know what a prototype is. Did this girl graduate high school?

Cameran, Whitney and Shep meet for drinks. Shep just got a text from Craig, who’s concerned that they won’t show for the bourbon tasting. Shep invites them on an Appalachian Mountain excursion. His parents have a house there. Cameran asks what they would do, but she and Whitney reject anything outdoorsy. Shep wants to invite Kathryn, but Cameran thinks it’s asking for trouble. She says if Landon is going to be there, there’s going to be tension. Whitney says he wishes Kathryn the best, but doesn’t want to be around her. Whitney mentions that Shep said he wants to be nice to Kathryn because he doesn’t want any grief and Shep adds that he also slept with her. So did Whitney, although he just laughs.

JD and Craig check out the bourbon place. JD says Gentry bourbon is in his family’s blood. They’re shown mock-ups of bottles and the barrels. Craig is excited about being on the ground floor of what he thinks is going to be a successful company. He’s impressed with the bourbon warehouse or whatever you call it. Distillery? JD is kind of annoyed at all the questions Craig is asksing.

Everyone shows up for bourbon tasting. Craig goes on about running a bourbon company and Shep thinks he’s getting ahead of himself and that the “new” Craig is alarmingly strange. JD tells Elizabeth that Craig already wants to run everything which is typical.

The tasting commences. They have four different sample batches and are looking for input. The woman telling them about the bourbon tells them not to swill it down, but sip at it and actually taste it. JD puts Dani in charge, which is kind of mean to Craig. Dani instructs them to smell it first. Whitney says the first one has the bouquet of napalm.

Craig asks Dani what the difference between bourbons is and Whitney thinks that’s probably one of the basics he should know. Dani acts like a snotrag, and like she can’t be bothered to teach him anything. Craig steps away and Shep says he’s proud of him. Craig says he thought he was more a part of it than he is and feels slighted. Shep tells him to find a way he can contribute and go with it.

JD asks Dani to be his VP, and she says she just got out of the business. For a reason, whatever that means. JD says someone is going to do it and it’s not going to be Craig. In his interview, JD says that if Craig thinks he’s going to be running the bourbon division, they have an issue.

Craig talks to Dani who makes stupid faces at him. JD tells her to let him speak to Craig alone. JD tells Craig he’s just getting into the business himself and it’s his family’s name on the bottle. He doesn’t feel Craig has enough knowledge to lead a bourbon division and asks if he led anyone to believe that.

Pictures are taken, everyone departs and everything is packed up. JD tells Craig not to let things get to him. Craig tells Naomie that JD told him he’s not ready yet to be a part of the bourbon division. She says she’s about to cry and feels confused. Geez, just a bit of an overreaction. He says they’ll talk later.

This season, more polo, a disco night, a bromance, a baby, Craig finds out more about Kathryn and Whitney, another dinner party from hell, and Landon and Kathryn have it out.

The Real Housewives of Dallas

BTW, when Leeanne was on Watch What Happens Live, Andy Cohen did ask her about all that blush she has going on, and she had no answer, but had obviously toned it down since filming.

We go back to Leeanne throwing her drink and calling Brandi trash. She stomps off and Stephanie says she’s crazy.

Tiffany follows her, as well as the camera crew. Tiffany calls her to come back and Leeanne gives her the finger. She tells Tiffany she’s done and Tiffany tells her not to talk to her like that. Leeanne insists Tiffany coordinated the brawl that she had all on her own. Tiffany shoves her and says she has her back and she always takes up for her. She says she’s constantly telling people they just don’t know Leeanne and that she has a big heart.

Meanwhile, inside Stephanie is crying and worried about her charities and that Leeanne will trash her husband’s business. I honestly think that Stephanie believes Leeanne has more power than she does. Brandi tells her Leeanne is just pissed that someone called her out. Cary gives an analogy of Stephanie being a wounded baby gazelle that Leeanne pounced on.

Leeanne goes apesh*t on the camera and nearly gets run over by a trolly car that she smacks. Then she takes her shoes off and walks into traffic. Tiffany says she’s known Leeanne for 25 years and Leeanne was the reason she came back to Dallas, but she can’t continue to live her life like this.

She goes back in and tells Marie about what happened outside. Cary says the best thing to do is take the high road and that was the low road. She compares Leeanne to her two-year-old and says maybe she needs a time out. Tiffany gives a blanket apology to everyone for starting the mess.

It’s Stephanie’s anniversary and her husband, Travis, is taking her out for a surprise. She talks about how she cried all night and tells him about how she never felt attacked like that. If I had been her, I would have smacked Leeanne in the face. She feels like she’s let her family down, but Travis just laughs and says not to let Leeanne get to her.

Leeanne is loving on her dogs, but even Hitler did that. Mark asks how she’s doing and if she called Tiffany. Leeanne says neither one of them are ready to talk yet. He says that when they fight, Leeanne avoids things, but Leeanne says they both have to process what happened.

Tiffany says she’s carrying around her phone and doesn’t know whether to call or not. Aaron tells her to give it a few days and let the dust settle, but Tiffany says they have a clothing drive coming up.

Leeanne says Tiffany should have intervened between her and Brandi. She says she has huge insecurities from her childhood. Please. Like we all don’t.

Brandi’s grandfather is coming for a visit. She says she couldn’t care less about Leeanne. She’s never met him because her mother had to choose sides in her parents’ divorce. Her mother is pretty excited as well.

Leeanne goes to the clothing drive, although she’d rather be home in bed nursing her wounds. She knows if Tiffany shows up, they’ll be respectful because it’s a Southern thing. (Landon didn’t get the memo.) Leeanne acts overly attentive to the other people. Tiffany arrives and is surprised that Leeanne is doesn’t talk to her at all. Cary arrives next with some clothing. She wants to just drop and go. Leeanne says she was hurt and she doesn’t do hurt because of being abandoned in her childhood. How old is this chick? There comes a time when you have to stop using your childhood as an excuse to be an a-hole. Get some therapy, kay?

Travis and Stephanie go out in the gold Rolls Royce that they rode in at their wedding. When it came up for sale, Travis bought it. I’m liking Travis more each time I see him.

Tiffany says when she moved to LA, she and Leeanne didn’t speak for two years because Leeanne felt abandoned. Holy. That is too ridiculous for words. Tiffany calls her and leaves a message. If I was in her position, I’d join the ranks of those who abandoned Leeanne. Seriously, she is way too old for this kind of behavior.

Travis drives to an upscale jewelry store and tells her to pick something out. She tries on a diamond bracelet. Stephanie says Travis spoils her and will buy her anything to make her happy. Go, Travis! She picks a diamond cuff out and Stephanie says she’s forgotten all about Leeanne. Travis swears she had the instinct to pick out the most expensive one. The bracelet is $55K, and they save the $2.5 million ring she tries on for another time. I wonder if they go out to dinner afterward or just go home and get busy.

Cary tells Mark about how Leeanne and Tiffany didn’t talk to one another at the clothing drive. Mark can’t wait to get away for vacation. Tiffany says they want to eventually get a house in Switzerland that they can spend summers at.

Brandi’s grandfather, John, arrives with his wife, Carol. Brandi introduces the kids and one tries to escape. They sit down for lunch and Brandi says the blessing. She gets all emotional.

To make up for the champagne Cary got on her dress when Leeanne threw the glass, Mark gets her a fabulous Roberto Cavalli dress. She says she’ll stand by Leeanne at all the parties now.

Brandi and John sit on the patio. She says she had a misconception of him growing up and she’s sorry for that. He says that’s all behind them. There are bobcats milling about and we hear them.

Cary gives Mark some Botox so he doesn’t look so mad at her when he’s mad at her. Yikes! So this is what it’s like to be super rich. Summers in Switzerland and Botox in your fridge.

Brandi comes over to Stephanie’s place. Stephanie tells her about the bracelet. Brandi feels like Bryan missed out in the romantic department. Stephanie asks how the visit with her grandfather is going. Brandi says Bryan is flying in between whatever it is he does so they can meet. Brandi’s grandfather was a pro football player back in the day and she thinks they’d get along really well.

Tiffany is meeting with Leeanne. Aaron asks what she’s going to say, but she doesn’t have a plan other than an apology for screaming at her. Aaron wonders why everyone can’t just get along, because he’s a guy, and tells her it will be fine.

Leeanne apologizes before she even sits down. She says she shouldn’t have questioned Tiffany having her back and Tiffany apologizes for yelling. To her credit, Leeanne says she deserved it. She says she got angry like that because she was going to start crying. In her interview, Leeanne says for a long time, she and Tiffany were all they had. I still think she needs therapy.

The entire family has come to Brandi’s for a barbecue. Stephanie arrives with her kids saying Travis will be there shortly. Brandi says growing up, they didn’t have family parties. Stephanie calls Travis who is having a drink with Bryan and says they’ll be there in five minutes. Brandi is a little pissed because she thinks Travis should have made the barbecue a priority.

Bryan and Travis arrive. Brandi is annoyed because she planned the party around his business trips and he’s late and drunk. He’s also acting like he can’t be bothered. Brandi says he puts up a wall a lot of the time and it’s disappointing. He goes to push one of the kids on the swing. Stepahanie says it was abig moment in Brandi’s life and Bryan ignored it

Next time, Travis hires a decorator, Mark takes photos of Cary, Leeanne confronts Marie, and Brandi confronts Bryan (who, no surprise, acts like a d-bag)

Jan11

January 10, 2016 — Atlanta & Some New Wives

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

Note:  We have new Wives coming onboard the franchise. The Real Housewives of Potomac premieres January 17. I hate to say it, and maybe I’ll change my mind, but from the previews, it looks like Andy Cohen might be slumming here. Perhaps they were just showing the “choice” bits, but these ladies didn’t look even remotely classy. We’re also supposed to get The Real Housewives of Dallas, but there’s no air date yet, nor has there been a preview.

Also, the new (and last…sniff…) season of Mob Wives premieres January 13 on VH1.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Every time I hear Phaedra say that God is impressed with her, I just shake my head. Not too presumptuous.

Kandi and Mama Joyce are checking out nursery colors and furniture. Kandi says the situation with her mother and the others around her has changed for the better. I hope so, because at one point, Mama Joyce sure looked like she was losing it.

Mama Joyce suggests a crib that the baby can grow into. Kandi says she thinks Mama Joyce sees her previous mistakes and wants to have a better relationship with the new baby. The saleswoman gives Kandi a catalog to check out cribs. Kandi talks about her conversation with Phaedra and how she thought things were cool, but then Phaedra turned around and complained that they weren’t close anymore because Phaedra owes Todd money. Mama Joyce suggests that she talk to Phaedra, but that’s a no as far as Kandi is concerned. She says Mama Joyce doesn’t need to talk to anyone about anything because she can go from 0 to 100 pretty quickly. Yep.

Kenya meets her Aunt Lori and friend Brandon at the Detroit airport. Her mother and father were 15 and 16 when she was born. Her mother wanted to give her up for adoption, but her fraternal grandmother begged to keep her. She was raised by her grandmother and says her mother has ignored her ever since. She wanted to invite her to the family reunion she’s organizing, but has no way to get in touch with her. She says the rest of the family wants her to leave her mother alone, and she can’t even get a phone number from her aunt. Kenya doesn’t want to leave Detroit without at least talking to her.

The airport limo goes by Kenya’s mother’s house, and she gets out.

Since Peter is in romance mode, he’s told Cynthia to pack a lot of sexy stuff and to be ready to go on a trip. Cynthia and her daughter, Noel, discuss relationships. Cynthia says it’s a lot easier when you have a boyfriend and can just tell him to hit the road, but marriage is a whole other animal. She says she and Peter need time to reconnect alone.

Kenya says she’s spent years not speaking to her father and they have a decent relationship now, so she sees no reason why she can’t have one with her mother. Her father tells her that her mother’s father didn’t want any more “illegal” (he means illegitimate) children in the family, and Kenya’s mother ignoring her was the result. He doesn’t want her to go to her mother’s house because he thinks it will be a futile effort.

Kenya goes to the door by herself, knocks, and only hears it lock. After a while she gives up and tells the other family members that she heard her mother say “Don’t answer the door.” In her individual interview, Kenya says she’ll never treat her children that way, no matter who they are. She also says this is her last time trying with her mother.

Kenya’s father and stepmother, Kathy (along with a younger brother?), come to the hotel room. When Kenya ran away from her father’s house as a teenager, there was a lot of friction between her and Kathy. Kenya is thrilled that they’re both here to support her now. She says they can’t relive the past, but they can move forward and make new memories. My hat’s off to her for her maturity.

Porsha is working out with her trainer, DP. Her sister, Lauren, comes by and makes annoying comments. After Porsha is done working out, she has a talk with Lauren. Lauren missed a package that came to the office, but Lauren says she was sick and couldn’t be there and has no help. Lauren says since she’s pregnant, she’s going to work from wherever. Porsha gets stupid, yelling about how Lauren isn’t doing her job. Lauren says that her world has revolved around Porsha for a long time and her own life hasn’t mattered. Then Porsha tells the joke of the century, saying she’s not a selfish person and she’s worked hard to get where she is.

Phaedra, who becomes more ridiculous with every episode, is at the office when Mama Joyce, against Kandi’s advice, pays a visit. The last time Mama Joyce was there, she wanted to choke Phaedra out for introducing Todd to Kandi. In her estimation, two people with big heads shouldn’t procreate. (She said it, not me.) Phaedra asks what’s up, and Mama Joyce wants to know what happened between her and Kandi. Phaedra says they had a misunderstanding, but they’re cool now. Mama Joyce brings up the incident where Phaedra was caught talking about Todd. She says that Kandi is having a high risk pregnancy, and she doesn’t want anything to go wrong and she doesn’t want Kandi to get upset anymore over this. Phaedra says Mama Joyce is in the “pot stirring business,” which is true, but Phaedra is no one to talk. Mama Joyce also asks for help with Kandi’s shower.

Phaedra says she likes an element of surprise in a party. She suggests a theme of “Coming to Atlanta” in the vein of Coming to America. Why is Phaedra dressed like Heidi going to a funeral?

Lauren comes over to Porsha’s apartment. Porsha says she was pretty angry with Lauren, but Phaedra talked her down, explaining that a lot of hormones are probably raging. Yeah, it must be that. It couldn’t possibly be that she’s tired of Porsha being an insensitive idiot. Porsha says they’ve always been close, but Lauren didn’t tell her about the pregnancy right away. Lauren said she was hesitant because she was afraid it would bum Porsha out, considering she’s divorced and childless. She didn’t put it exactly that way, but that’s what she meant. Lauren talks about how Porsha went through all kinds of treatments to get pregnant and then her marriage fell apart. Porsha says things are going well, that she’s not mad and she’s happy for Lauren. Still, she would give all the other good stuff up for a family. I’ll bet not.

Phaedra goes to Todd’s office and they look at the workout video. Phaedra was pregnant in the video, and a lot has happened since then. She says the video doesn’t look like she wants it to, even though the assistant explained that it’s not at full resolution, and she’s not going to release it, but since this is Todd’s only job and he must need the money, she’ll pay him. This woman acts like butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth, but she’s the nastiest one of the bunch. I highly doubt God is impressed. In his individual interview, Todd says Mama Joyce must have made this happen and he’ll probably owe her a percentage. Phaedra and Todd talk babies.

The family reunion is happening. Even though her mother isn’t there, Kenya says she feels blessed. She says if you can survive someone trying to destroy you in the first years of your life, you can survive anything. She says this is her family in the present and future. Some of her mother’s relatives are there, but there are four generations of her father’s side of the family attending. It’s time to eat, and they stand holding hands to bless the food. Kenya’s father says the blessing and thanks the Lord for his family. Kenya thanks everyone for coming, but notices her Aunt Lori has left. She can’t understand why she would travel so far to just stay 10 minutes. Hmm… I wonder if she went to her sister’s house.

It turns out Aunt Lori left because she’s a huge bummer who couldn’t handle Kenya trying to see her mother. What a jerk. The only pleasure I get in this, is knowing she spent money on the plane ticket. Kenya’s father says it’s all good though and they have all the family they need.

Next week, the ladies go to Congress, Todd wants to open a restaurant, Aunt Lori and Kenya get into it, and Nene drags her sorry tail back to Atlanta.