Tag Archives: Below Deck Mediterranean

May 24, 2016 – The Nurses Ball, a Model Charter & a Wrong Finale

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

It’s time for the Nurses Ball!

Robin and Emma watch the Nurses Ball on TV because it’s such a huge event, it’s even broadcast on the West Coast. They do the red carpet thing with Nina being one of the hosts. She manages to plug Crimson while she’s at it. The dresses are fabulous and I’m guessing the actresses on the show are glad to be dressing up for a change.

Maxie talks to Griff. She says Amy thinks he’s a priest and he should shut that rumor down. He says it’s no rumor, but he’s not practicing right now. Maxie says she’s brought Nathan a tux, but Griff says he can’t be discharged yet. Maxie suggests Griff escort her then.

I love Ava’s red dress with a mermaid hem, but I think she needs more accessorizing. Ooh! I want Kiki’s earrings desperately. Obviously, today’s show is all about the fashion for me. Kiki tells Ava about her last meeting with Morgan. Ava says they’ll be the bells of the ball and Scotty says he’s proud to be escorting such lovely ladies.

Amy is in the back on her phone talking about how amazing it is that she’ll be on stage where she belongs. Elizabeth takes a tumble, but Franco catches her. Obrecht looks amazing and Carly tells her she’d better not be planning a repeat performance of hijacking the opening number, but Obrecht tells us she has something better in mind. I was really hoping she would sing, since she has a beautiful voice.

Speaking of Franco, I read that they’re holding out on Roger Howarth with his contract negotiations. Give him whatever he wants. He and Michael Easton are the best things on this show. Unpredictable, engaging, and not bad to look at.

Jordan and Andre enter together. Backstage, it doesn’t look good for Elizabeth’s ankle. Lucy tells her to just walk the red carpet and promote the show. When Nicholas is introduced, Nina calls Hayden out as Rachel Berlin. Hayden says she had nothing to do with her father’s business and nothing stashed in her sock drawer. Nicholas suggests that might be otherwise, but says it keeps life interesting.

Lucas is pretty nervous. He and Brad are trying to stay apart until the wedding, but catch a glimpse of each other. Uh-oh, bad luck.

Lucy tells Carly what’s one tiny disaster, but won’t tell her what it was.

Anna and Andre meet at the bar. Jordan joins them and tells Anna they’ll meet tomorrow and talk about getting the charges dropped.

Hayden isn’t too thrilled about what Nicholas said on the red carpet.

Lucy walks the carpet and promotes GH and their fight against AIDS. Carly, with some amazing lowlights, says this year it’s going to be better than ever. Nina introduces “homewrecker” Ava along with her “sleazy lawyer.” Ava asks who gave her a microphone and Lucy rescues the moment. She leaves and Ava tells Carly she’ll be over tomorrow to get Avery. Carly says she’ll be ready.

Griff tells Maxie it wouldn’t be appropriate for him to escort her because she’s engaged, but she says what could be safer than a priest? He says he doesn’t have a tux, but she says she can fix that with a phone call. He relents.

Anna enters the ballroom, remembering Duke. Emma comes out on stage and introduces special visitors – her and Robin. So either they were watching on the East Coast or had one helluva quick plane ride.

Maxie, also sporting great lowlights, arrives with Griff. Nina calls him arm candy and Maxie says she bets he didn’t hear this a lot as a priest. Valerie and Curtis are next.

Hayden tells Nicholas she thought they’re supposed to play the happy couple tonight. He says what happy couple doesn’t tease each other about hidden assets, and she tells him not to push her too far. He won’t like how she pushes back.

Emma asks Griff if he’s really a priest. She doesn’t understand why he never wants to get married.

Elizabeth comes in escorted by Franco. Ha-ha! Elizabeth and Hayden are wearing the same thing and Nina points it out. Maxie grabs Elizabeth to get her a new dress. Jason and Sam arrive and the host asks if that’s his ex wife or his next wife.

Carly sneaks into Ava’s room, looking for the flash-drive Ava’s confession. She picks up a martini shaker and hears something clanking around. Oh come on. Nothing is ever that easy. Carly pulls the flash-drive out of the shaker and says she’s smarter than Ava, but almost not. Ava starts to put her key in the lock, thinking she forgot her checkbook, but finds it in her purse.

Robin makes the rounds. Bobbie makes a little speech to Brad and Lucas and they have a toast.

There’s friction between Franco and Jason, and Jason tells Elizabeth she’d better keep his son away from Franco. Jason apologizes to Sam, but she says he has nothing to apologize for. Robin sees them and Jason tells her he’s starting to remember. He says he’s glad she’s there and she says she’s glad they both are.

Carly takes the drive to a laptop. It would be really funny if it’s not the confession.

Nicholas tells Jason he knows about his stunt with the IRS and if he wants war, he has it. Jason doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Sam tells Nicholas Jason is starting to remember. Nicholas says that’s great, but he doesn’t want Jason destroying his life.

The show starts. Lucy tells herself to keep her clothes on. She makes the opening speech. We start with the staff number, led by Epiphany. It’s a semi-rap number that takes us down Memory Lane, and ends with an explosion of confetti.

Lucy makes a plea for donations and thanks Nicholas for his.

Obrecht says now that the crowd has warmed up, they can savor her medley from The Sound of Music. She has puppets and is dressed in a Heidi outfit, but a bunch of orderlies in masks come in and kidnap her. Boo!

Carly sess what’s on the flash drive and says OMG.

Bobbie faints backstage. Told you something was up with her.

Lucy says she promised a night of surprises and….

…to be continued tomorrow.

Below Deck Mediterranean

Jen asks Danny how the make-out was, and even though we all saw it, he pretends like nothing happened. Katie and the models head back to the yacht for dinner. It’s also Katie’s birthday. Ben is busy filleting a fish and no doubt will be baking, although he says that’s not his forte. Jen has decided to keep what she knows about Danny to herself.

Apparently the guests want sushi served by guys with bow ties and no shirts, and Bryan says you gotta give ‘em what they want. Hannah oils the guys down. She says it’s not necessary, but fun. I dunno about that.

Katie sees the birthday banner and tries not to cry. I don’t know if that’s because she’s overwhelmed with happiness or bummed because she’s getting older. The sushi looks fabulous. No surprise, since Ben is a master. Hannah thanks the guys for being good sports.

Next are some gigantic shrimp that are basically looking back at the guests. One of the models has to leave the table because “she’s very spiritual” and is thinking all the shrimp are a family. She says even flies matter to her. Okay. I’m actually thinking of going vegetarian, but not thinking of going insane. She asks if Ben has any vegetarian sushi. He doesn’t, but he says he’ll whip something else up for her. He says the drunker you get, the more vegetarian you become. Danny goes to cheer her up. Rolling my eyes.

Bryan tells the captain all went well. Danny starts writing a poem for the girl who was upset about the shrimp and Bobby tells him they have actual work to do. Danny gives him a hard time, so he calls Bryan to the break room. Danny explains what he’s doing and the captain has to tell him it’s inappropriate. The captain asks if this is something that’s been building, and Danny says they’ve made a connection, but nothing happened. Captain Mark tells him no more building, connections or anything else. He says they’re here to serve them and make them happy, but not to have relationships with them. Danny says he needs space and broods by his bunk.

Ben has made a crazy-looking cake. Hannah hopes the guests will like it, but thinks they’d probably be satisfied with a cupcake with a candle in it. I’ll bet it tastes fabulous. Cake looks can be deceiving.

Danny can’t seem to help himself and gives the model the poem anyway. He wants to make “a moment” for her and feels it’s the right thing to do. Idiot.

Model Morgan reads the poem out loud and it’s the worst. All the girls think it’s sweet though. Danny talks to a couple of the models on deck and Bryan asks to speak with him. He lies and said he wasn’t talking to them, but Bryan says he’s pretty pissed and that he’s acting like a twelve-year-old. Bobby can’t even believe what’s going on. Seriously. It’s like your waiter getting all up in your business or something.

Bryan says they explained it in every possible way, but Danny still did what he wanted to do and he’s going to face the consequences. Hannah says you work on a yacht, the captain gives you orders and you follow them; it’s that simple. Bryan tells Captain Mark what happened. The captain says he’s never had this situation before and Danny isn’t to go on deck tomorrow. Bryan tells Danny. Danny asks if he’s allowed to say good-by to the guests, but Bryan says no and he hopes it was all worth it. Bryan thinks he’s going to get the ax.

Hannah suggests they put Danny under a microscope and study him. Bryan is nervous that he’ll have to rely on Jen more once Danny is gone, but he tells her he’s confident they can handle it.

It’s docking time and the wind is blowing like crazy, which makes it more difficult. The crew chases the breakfast table settings around. Jen says growing up, she was always one of the boys and it’s annoying that they don’t seem to trust her with important tasks. The crew is having a hard time hearing the captain, so he decides to go back out and regroup. They have to anchor outside the dock and the guests have to leave on a tender. I have no idea what that is, but I assume it’s a boat of some kind.

Bobby broods in his bunk. He says he thought he made friendships for life with the models. Highly doubtful. The girls present everyone with towels. I hope this isn’t in lieu of a tip. No one asks where Danny is despite those lifelong friendships. Oops, I spoke too soon, since one of them put a note in his towel. The captain has Bryan bring Danny to the bridge. I wonder if he’s going to make him walk the plank. And yes, a tender is a boat, not a sweet deckhand.

Captain Mark asks Danny what he was thinking. Danny says he thought it was the right thing to do. The captain asks if he still thinks so. Danny says no, because the captain said so, but he likes lifting people up who are down. The captain suggests he be a Walmart greeter. He says the girls are professional flirts and he’s lost the respect of everyone and also his tip. He says he can’t have crew members he can’t trust, and he can’t trust Danny.

Captain Mark says the part that bothers him is that Danny still thinks he’s right and wonders what he can’t trust him with next. The captain says it’s not a question of his honesty, but his integrity. Danny begs and the captain says he can stay, but he has two strikes already; a third and he’s out. He says Danny will have to earn the respect back. He hopes Danny doesn’t prove him wrong.

At tip time, Captain Mark tells everyone Danny started feeling and stopped thinking, but he’s giving Danny another chance. Ben feels badly about Danny, but probably not about the extra tip. Twenty grand, USD. In her interview, Hannah says she would have fired him. Not for the poem per se, but for disobeying the captain’s orders. The wind dies down and Tiffany asks if she can help the deckhands dock. Hannah, who seems a little more chill with Tiffany, gives the okay. Bryan admits she’s pretty good with the lines.

Bobby thinks Danny should have been fired, but respects the captain’s decision. He says he doesn’t hate Danny, but he is pissed off at him. Bryan says it will take a miracle for Danny to regain his trust.

It’s night out time, but Bobby and Danny are doing a safety check, so they can’t go. The crew goes to dinner, which means more drinks than food. Bobby wants to give Danny another chance, since he’s his roommate and he doesn’t want tension. Apparently, whatever schematics they have are outdated by ten years, so they can’t find half the safety stuff listed. Danny wastes some time cutting out dog pictures for Jen who misses her dog. Well, at least we know that has nothing to do with romance.

Jen orders chicken, white rice and green beans and Ben says she likes boring food. She’s the same one who didn’t like the “old buildings” and the food in Greece. After dinner, it’s serious drinking time. They drink some shots in really weird glasses that look like tiny mason jars.

Ben says Bryan’s filter seems to dissolve with alcohol. He likes it and thinks it’s healthy. He also thinks the girls in the crew are hot. Hannah tells Bryan that Ben is a good flirt and says she’s yet to date a chef. I have news for her; he said he’s not interested.

Jen likes the surprise Danny left her. She says he’s redeemed himself and deep down he’s a nice guy. I have no doubt about that, but that doesn’t mean this is the job for him. Hannah tries flirting some more with Ben on the boat, but it’s a no. He actually seems to like Tiffany. Hannah gets offended that Ben doesn’t want to play footsie with her. Ben catches Bryan playing footsie with Tiffany in the bunk and is not too happy.

Next time, Oklahoma millionaires, Hannah is back on Tiffany’s case, and Danny acts like an asshat again.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Alex goes to Rusty and says Randal won’t leave her alone. He asks if Randal raped her and she says no, but Rusty insists he did. He asks if she called the law and she says no. Rusty says good and tells her to stop lying about the rape. She says that’s not what happened and Rusty asks what she’s saying then. Alex says she had an affair and Rusty slaps her. It’s unfathomable to him, and he says he should kill her. He asks if the baby is Randal’s and she says yes. Her mother comes out and asks what’s going on. Rusty says Alex is breaking his heart.

Rusty tells her that Randal won’t leave Alex alone. Her mother is like, oh, so you’re coming here for help now. Rusty tells Alex she disgusts him and he spits on her. As ever, the soul of decorum. Alex is shocked, although I don’t know why, since she grew up with him abusing her. Rusty goes inside and her mother tells her she’d better leave. She says when Rusty gets calm, it’s time to get away.

She must be right because he comes out with a shotgun. Alex says Randal is trying to take her baby and Rusty says good, because “they” should all stay together. Alex says she’s not leaving until they help her and her mother goes nuts, screaming and yelling and smacking her, until Alex finally gets in her car and goes.

Rusty says he needs to get Jessie and Oliver and gas up the truck. I’m sure this can’t be good.

Joey is in Faun’s room, which is decorated by Pottery Barn Teen. She has to make some pick-ups, but Joey isn’t comfortable with her carrying all that money. He says she should carry a gun. She gets one of her father’s guns and gives it to him. She says he can be her security.

Eddie bugs Claudia. He says he wants to apologize for Esperanza. She tells him to get lost, but he’s not having any. He asks where she’s from and she says a place called you’re never gonna get it. Ha-ha! She says she’s never going to go out with him. He asks who she is, since the only thing real about her is her first name. He manhandles her and says whatever she’s doing there had better be in his best interest. She threatens him with some hot coffee. He says he’s watching her and she says ditto. Eddie could probably score if he didn’t behave like such a peabrain.

Andrew says he’s been trying to call Lushion. He says the captain and Steve have been talking all day in the office. He also says Eddie left on Claudia’s heels and it’s not good. Lushion says he has to go sign papers for the house and tells Andrew to keep his eyes open and keep him posted. Andrew asks why he came back, and Lushion says for his pay stubs, but I have the feeling it’s something else and that Andrew thinks it’s something else. Lushion goes out to the hallway and leaves a message for Claudia to call him.

Marcie goes to Brad’s office. She says he hasn’t been answering his phone and wonders if he’s angry. He says no and that he understands. She says she’s sorry and he says that’s one thing he doesn’t need anymore. Marcie asks what he wants and Brad says his life back before Randal. She says he can’t have that, but when they both figure out what they want, they can create it for themselves. He says she put him out of the apartment and she says they need boundaries and barriers.

She asks if he’s seen the baby. Brad says a few times and Marcie asks what he looks like. Brad says like a lie. She says maybe some day they’ll only see a beautiful baby. He tells her it’s wishful thinking. She says if he gets back by nine, she’ll be in her room and they won’t have to see each other.

Commercial break with important information. The Haves and the Have Nots is back on Tuesday, June 21 at 9 pm.

Kelly is watching the baby. Justice calls and he’s spending the night at a friend’s house. She keeps trying Alex’s phone, but there’s no answer and she’s starting to worry. She sees Ramses outside because he does lawn work 24/7. She tells him the leaf blower is going to wake up the baby. She asks if he wants to come inside and he says he’s fine. She says she owes him an apology. He says it’s all good, but he has work to do and blows her off. She apologizes again.

Lushion drives up and Kelly barely says hello. Lushion asks if Ramses has talked to her and Ramses says he’s done with all that. Lushion suggests he give it another try, but Ramses isn’t interested. Lushion gives him the check and the contract for the house. Ramses leaves and Lushion gets a call. It must be Claudia because he says be careful, he thinks Eddie is following her.

Stupid Esperanza asks Natalie if she’s okay and says she’s sorry she had to be the one to tell her. Yeah, tell her something you thought you saw, but didn’t. Natalie goes back to work and Kelly calls Esperanza. Esperanza says Lushion asked Natalie to marry him, and Kelly says what if Esperanza made a mistake and then tells her about the mistake she made with Ramses and how he won’t talk to her now. She says it’s important to be sure and not jump to any conclusions.

Alex knocks on Kelly’s door. Kelly asks her about the phone and Alex says the reception is bad at the hospital. Kelly keeps asking her if she’s okay, but Alex says she’s fine. She thanks Kelly and takes the baby. The poor nameless baby. Is he Brad? Randal? Bozo? What?

Kelly sees Claudia walk into Ramses place. She immediately dials Esperanza. What is wrong with this girl? Didn’t she just say don’t jump to conclusions? Esperanza calls Natalie over and says they have to go.

Marcie walks into Alex’s place. Alex tells her to get out. Marcie says she’s there to help her and that Brad loves her. She says he’s a good guy and Alex is making him into something else, but if she shows some remorse, he might come back. She tells Alex to call him and not just say she’s sorry, but show it. Alex asks why she’s doing this and Marcie says she wants to give Alex a fair shot before she takes him.

Marcie leaves and here comes creepy Randal. Alex won’t answer the door. He says he’ll see her in court.

Alex calls Brad. She tells him about Marcie’s visit. He says loving her and missing her isn’t enough. She says if she has to live without him, she will, but she’ll never love another man because of what she did to him. She says she should have let him know how she was feeling and she loves him and she’s sorry. She tells him if he wants to come home, just do it, and they can try to work through it. He tells her yellow daffodils. We both say, what? and he says she was wearing them in her hair when they first met and describes everything about the moment. Oh come on, man, they’re breaking my heart now. Just get back together and band together against the crazy guy.

Aww, the baby has those little mittens on that they wear so they won’t scratch themselves. Brad says he’s telling her all this because he can’t forget. Can’t forget anything apparently. He says he’s done and not coming back. Brad hears the baby and asks if it’s “his” child. Alex asks if he still loves her and he says yes, but he can’t forget and he’s not coming back. She tells him if he ever feels like he wants to come home, she’ll be waiting. He doesn’t want her to do that, but she says she will. Hey, I think he’s wearing a Loki bracelet.

Uh-oh, here comes Rusty with Bubba and Bubba.

Esperanza takes Natalie to Ramses’s house. Natalie tells Esperanza to leave. Natalie busts into the house acting the fool. The bell rings and Lushion tells Natalie to go in the back with Claudia.

It’s Eddie. Lushion asks what Eddie’s doing there and Eddie says congratulations. Lushion tells him to get lost and he asks if it’s Claudia’s car outside. He asks if Lushion is sleeping with her because nothing is adding up with her. Lushion says he’s buying the house and trying to get some peace and quiet, so Eddie needs to take his ass home. Eddie says he passed the test. He says the captain said he didn’t give them up to internal affairs so he’s good with Eddie. Lushion says Eddie isn’t good with him.

Lushion goes back in and tells Natalie that Claudia is FBI and has been doing an investigation. Lushion tells Claudia she can’t go, but she says she called Larry. Lushion is afraid his cover will be blown, but Claudia says it’s all good and leaves. The whole time Natalie keeps rolling her eyes and acting stupid. She says Claudia isn’t FBI, look at how she’s dressed. Like they all go around in pinstriped suits from the 40s. Lushion says Claudia was supposed to flirt with all the rookies and get whatever info she could. He tells Natalie that he’s FBI too, and they’ve been investigating Eddie. Natalie makes some more faces. It’s annoying me that she’s being so stupid. Lushion says that’s why he left the station in Virginia. Natalie asks why he didn’t tell her and he says the less she knows, the better. He says she can’t let anyone know. She wonders what to tell Kelly and Esperanza.

Natalie asks Lushion if he wants to move in immediately and he says yes. She calls Joey. She says she needs him home by eight to watch the kids because she’s going out with everyone. Faun and Eddie leave the burger place.

Almost creepier than Randal, Travis hops over the back fence at Kelly’s place.

Lushion and Natalie wait for Joey. Natalie wants the kids to see the house and says Joey has five more minutes. Joey comes toward the building with Faun and Quan jumps out with a gun. Joey pulls out his gun and both he and Faun get hit. Lushion comes running downstairs and Natalie dissolves into tears.

Travis sneaks into Kelly’s house. What is up with this weirdo? He watches Kelly sleeping and is totally creeping me out. He touches her and I can’t believe she doesn’t wake up. This is making me totally uncomfortable. He leaves the bedroom. The door makes a sound and Kelly wakes up. He leaves the house like he’s all thug. Kelly hears a dog barking and comes out wondering what the blip? He’s left her front door wide open and she freaks.

She closes and locks it, but he’s still skulking around, now peeking in Ramses house. He breaks in there too, like a pro. I thought this dude was supposed to be a missionary. Did I miss something? He sneaks around Ramses place. He goes into the bathroom. The lights are on and he closes the door.

Alex is sitting with the baby. She hears a car and puts him in his little seat. Ugh! It’s Rusty and the boys. Man, someone better call the cops about something. There’s a bunch of yelling and I’m assuming they’re at Randal’s house. Alex checks on the other kids, telling Paisley it’s nothing when she asks about the noise. Alex goes downstairs.

She goes out the back and it sounds like Rusty and friends are busting up the place. We hear gunshots. For a small town, it’s pretty lively here. Alex goes back inside. The door is open and the baby is gone.

It’s silent during the credits, but they’re changing in exact time with my wall clock ticking.

This was the season finale. Hopefully, the baby will have a name next season.

May 17, 2016 — GH, Loving Wrong & Models on Deck

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

I came in late, but skimmed through the beginning online and am sincerely sorry I missed seeing Sonny bust up Julian’s place and tell Alexis their friendship is over.

Franco let Elizabeth know that Jake is with him, so at least he didn’t go over the edge again and kidnap Jake. I want Franco to stay somewhat sane to ensure his longevity on the show.

Laura thinks Heartbreak Hotel might be linked to the Campus Disco where she met Luke, although why this wasn’t the first thing that came to mind is beyond me. Laura wants to investigate, and Doc says he’ll go with her. I assume it’s no longer a disco.

And Tracy has found a baby on the Quartermaine doorstep.

Here’s where I came in.

Sam tells Michael they don’t have to miss the old Jason anymore.

Lucy overhears Doc and Laura discussing their plans and assumes they’re a couple. Doc steps away and she tells Laura that she gives her and Doc her blessing. She says she’s thrilled he’s moving on with someone so wonderful. Laura starts to tell her she has the wrong idea, when Doc joins them. Lucy babbles about how they should do a number at the Nurses Ball, gives them tickets, and leaves.

Monica asks if Tracy has called the authorites and says for all they know, the baby could have been kidnapped. She tells Tracy about Jason regaining his memory.

Franco tells Elizabeth she’s in over her head and should accept any and all help.

Julian tells Alexis they need to talk. He says he’d rather die than let Sonny harm her. He says Carrrlos is gone and the evidence has been destroyed, so they’re both covered and he’s going to protect her from Sonny. He says there’s no going back and they’re in this together. I’m sure she’s thrilled.

Carly is all excited about Jason regaining his memory. She calls Michael in. Jason tells him about a time when he was a baby, and says he’s a man now. Michael says Jason taught him how to be one.

Laura says she soesn’t want to draw Doc in any more with the Helena business, but he says he’s already drawn in.

Franco asks Elizabeth to let him look at Helena’s book with Jake. He says he knows the answer is in there. She tells Jake to come on and Jake asks when he’ll see Franco again. Franco says that’s up to his mother.

Alexis asks if Julian needs help, but he says he can deal with it. He has the shirt he was wearing in a plastic bag and she says she’ll burn it. Wait a second, why did he tell her the evidence was gone when he still had some? He tells her it’s gong to be okay, which obviously no one should believe.

Julian leaves and Alexis ponders the bag. Um…I wouldn’t throw plastic into the fireplace unless you want a real smelly mess. She takes the shirt out of the bag because she heard me.

Carly and Sam are all happy. Sam walks Michael out. Carly tells Jason that Sonny will be home soon if he wants to wait. She says they get to be friends forever now and she hugs him.

Alexis burns the shirt. Oh wait, she doesn’t. She puts it back in the bag and hides it. She looks all panicky.

Sonny comes home and asks what Jason is doing there.

Michael talks to Monica who says it’s a miracle. He sees Tracy with the baby and Monica says it’s their new house guest. Tracy says she couldn’t leave him on the doorstep. Michael asks if there was a note and Tracy says just a rattle, Michael says that’s Sabrrrina’s son.

Sonny says if it wasn’t for Jason, Dante would be dead. Jason says it the least he can do after all Sonny’s done for him.

Tomorrow, Felix needs to talk to Finn, Diane tells Nicholas he owes back taxes, and Jason has a request of Sonny.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Eddie brings some chick home. He wants her to lose the dress immediately and she’s like, you are moving way too fast. He asks her if she’s stupid and she said she was under the misguided impression that he liked her. He says he does and let’s get to it. The light bulb comes on and he suggests foreplay, which means giving him…never mind. While Eddie has his eyes closed, the girl opens the door to Julius and company.

Julius calls Eddie “copper,” a term which hasn’t been used since the 40s. Eddie tells him to go ahead and shoot, just don’t mess up his pretty face. I’m always torn between wanting Eddie gone and keeping him around for entertainment purposes.

Julius goofs around for a while, pretending he’s going to shoot Eddie and then the gun doesn’t go off. I laugh when Eddie asks if Julius wants to torture him and Julius says yes. He says that he actually wants a favor. He shows Eddie a picture of Claudia and says he wants her dead — no drive-bys or suicides, but an accident with witnesses. Eddie wants to know why, but Julius says no questions. Eddie says okay, but asks about Quan who is nowhere. Eddie asks that Quan be delivered to him as part of the deal. Julius says it’s like poker, he’ll see his Quan for Quan’s mother, Tilda. Julius says he’ll deliver both of them and Eddie has to take care of them. Eddie says done.

Eddie almost messes things up by asking Julius to “leave the whore.” The “whore” is Julius’s cousin. Eddie apologizes and suggests they stick to killing. These two were actually kind of funny together.They’re like cartoon characters.

Esperanza calls Claudia into the office. She asks if Claudia is sleeping with Lushion. She says she saw Claudia kissing him in the locker room. Claudia says that’s not what was happening and Esperanza suggests she put Claudia in for a transfer. Claudia says if she does, she’s going to complain that Esperanza is jealous about Eddie. Esperanza says Claudia is a liar, since she obviously hasn’t worked this job before. Claudia tells her to do what she wants, but says “be careful” in a weird tone of voice. I have no investment in Claudia, but I’m hoping she doesn’t get killed just because she’s one of the good guys.

Alex calls a lawyer, but she doesn’t have enough money for a retainer. There’s a knock at the door and she gets served. She calls Creepy Randal who calls her sweetheart. He tells her that the new subpoena is a lawsuit against Brad. She asks why he’s doing this, and Randal says Brad is with his wife. Alex counters with Randal having been with Brad’s wife. Randal says that wasn’t on purpose, but what Brad did was. Alex says they don’t have much money and asks him to stop. He says to come over and make love to him and he will. Gag. In lieu of that, he’ll take his son. Alex begs him to stop and he says he’ll see her in court.

Kelly paces while talking to herself. There’s a knock at the door. It’s the girl from Ramses’s apartment. She asks if Kelly has a “wine opener.” Kelly tells her to tell Ramses to go buy one his own damn self among a few other choice things.

Esperanza calls Kelly. Kelly tells her about the girl at Ramses’s house and how she came over to borrow a corkscrew. She kind of makes it up as she’s going along. She says she was stupid for liking him.

Esperanza tells Kelly about walking in on Lushion and Claudia. She says she’s positive she saw them kissing. Kelly says it was probably innocent, and Esperanza says what if the girl that Kelly saw was Ramses sister? Kelly blows this off and Esperanza says she doesn’t know if she should tell Natalie. This is an interesting scene, because they’re both making up scenarios and future scenarios that don’t exist, and it’s feeding on itself.

The captain calls Eddie and Steve into his office. He asks who was using his computer and Eddie confesses. Steve leaves and Eddie tells the captain he was running Claudia. He also tells him about the visit from Julius. The captain says when Eddie ran Claudia, all hell broke loose and now he’s getting calls from the Feds. He says something isn’t right about her.

Lushion comes to Ramses’s house and the girl introduces herself as Grace. She calls Ramses and he and Lushion discuss the house. Ramses says Grace is his cousin’s wife and helping him with the legal stuff, and that he can be out today. He’s going to stay in a hotel because he doesn’t want to be with the memories of his mother. Lushion asks if there’s anything else, and Ramses says Kelly. He says they’ve been flirting and now she’s cold. Lushion asks when it started and tells him to think back.

Ramses goes through the last time Kelly came by. He hits the nail on the head about her seeing Grace. Lushion asks if he told Kelly who Grace is, and Ramses says no, and even worse, he sent Grace over to borrow the corkscrew. Lushion says Ramses should know that Kelly was bothered. Ramses wants to go right over, but Lushion says give her an hour or two to cool off. He takes the paperwork for the house and leaves.

There’s a knock at Kelly’s door. It’s Alex. Alex asks her if she can watch the baby while she goes to an unscheduled doctor’s appointment. Kelly says sure. Kelly makes googly sounds at the baby. Alex leaves.

Esperanza goes to talk to Natalie because she can’t keep her big, fat nose out of things. She tells Natalie that she saw Claudia and Lushion “separating from something” in the locker room. Natalie says Lushion just asked her to marry him. Natalie says maybe she should have kept her mouth shut and I wholeheartedly agree. Of course Natalie immediately jumps to thinking the worst and says she’ll deal with it after work.

Ramses goes over to Kelly’s place. He has Grace with him and says Kelly owes her an apology. Kelly acts snotty and Ramses asks Grace to give them a few minutes. Grace tells him it’s not going to work for him and goes. Kelly says some woman is in his house who dresses like a whore, and he says he’s not like that and she’s here for business. He tells her not to insult him and gives her the documents that his cousin’s wife helped him with. He tells Kelly not to be so judgmental until she knows the whole story. He leaves and hopefully, she feels like an ass now.

Lushion asks the guy at the deli if there’s another copy of the tape. Deli guy says no, and asks if should he be worried since Lushion is the third cop who’s asked about it. Lushion shows him Eddie’s picture and he says that was one of them. Ben isn’t the other, so I’m guessing it might be Steve. Lushion asks to look at the tape from when the other cop came in.

The captain tells Eddie that they have an undercover in the precinct who’s investigating all the rookies who have died. The two morons conclude it must be Claudia and Eddie says he’s got it. The captain says be careful, since she could topple them all.

Lushion takes Andrew aside. He shows Andrew a picture of himself in the deli and asks what’s up and what’s on the tape. Andrew says he doesn’t know and Lushion asks why he was trying to get it. Andrew says they shouldn’t even be talking about this. Lushion says either tell him what he wants to know or he’s going to internal affairs. He tells Andrew he has no choice but to trust him.

Andrew tells Lushion about Ben’s drug problem and that Ben picks up drugs for Eddie. He says they tried to kill Pete. He says Pete would be dead if it hadn’t been for his girlfriend who put the camera in the room. He says the wall of rookie pictures is Eddie’s wall of fame. Lushion tells him to be careful. He says they’ll report to each other and no one else will know about their conversations.

Andrew says Pete has the tape because he’s the one in the hospital. Lushion says he’s working on something. Andrew says work fast or the three of them will be up on the wall next. Lushion leaves and calls Larry Lamont. He leaves a message saying he has two problems that need to be addressed right away.

Alex goes to visit Backwoods Rusty, aka her father. She tells him her neighbor won’t leave her alone.

Next time, Marcie visits Alex, Rusty goes after Randal, and Lushion meets with Claudia and Ramses.

Below Deck: Mediterranean

Bryan tells Hannah it’s not the time or place to be dressing down an employee, adding that she’s drunk. Hannah is offended and appalled by this, but she is drunk. As he said last episode, she doesn’t seem to get that he’s her boss.

Danny brings some girls back to the boat. This is a huge no-no, but all Hannah tells them is to stay out of the guest cabins. Danny breaks out some Patron. In the galley, Ben is cooking octopus. I stopped eating octopus after I saw one that was capable of using a camera.

Hannah tells Danny and group they have five minutes. Bobby is with them and says his career is important to him, so the girls have to leave. Bye, Felicias! Bryan hears them discussing the girls, and says he’s been put in an awkward position.

It’s 24-hours until charter and everyone is hung over. Jen isn’t sure if things are resolved with Hannah, but she doesn’t care. Bryan goes to the captain and asks to confirm the policy for guests on the boat. Captain Mark says the yacht is their work place, not their home, and it’s not cool unless he knows about it. Bryan tells him what happened. He wants to be transparent with the captain and doesn’t want to risk his own job to save the other guys’ asses. The captain says Bobby, who’s also a firefighter, wouldn’t bring girls back to the firehouse, which is a good analogy.

Hannah claims she’s not trying to be a bitch, just trying to do her job, and sometimes being a bitch is part of it. Tiffany is glad she doesn’t want to rehash the lecture at the bar.

The captain calls the guys to the wheelhouse. He says apparently his instruction on no partying on the boat didn’t sink in. Bryan says he’s partly responsible and the captain agrees. He’s not too happy to hear about Danny giving out the boat’s liquor either. He gives them extra work, and tells them it’s their first strike, and with three, they’re out. Captain Mark speaks to Bryan afterward and asks if he knew about the liquor. Bryan says no.

A sports-bar called The Tilted Kilt has chartered the yacht for a photo shoot. Captain Mark emphasizes no fraternization with the guests. The primary is Katie, who is kind of like their den-mother. Right away Hannah looks down her nose at the guests, and says they won’t be expecting as top-notch work. The deckhands are especially happy that they will have a boat full of models and Jen says they’re acting like they’ve never seen girls before. Bryan tells them do not cross the line, especially after what just happened.

Danny video chats with his mom. His father is an alcoholic and he had to be the family’s main support at a young age, which might explain his emotional immaturity.

Julia says they’re not lowering their standards, just simplifying. Bryan tells Jen she seems disconnected and she says she woke up late. Jen thinks Bryan overcompensates for his lack of abilities. It’s time to greet the guests, so the crew gets into their dress whites.

The girls board the boat and the guys get stupid. Hannah shows them around the yacht. Lots of squealing and giggling. The girls seem sweet, but Hannah makes a lot of snide comments in her interview segments.

Lunch is served and of course it’s phenomenal. Compliments to the chief, who says it’s a happy bunch. They drop anchor and the girls get into their bikinis and park on the sun deck. Danny is smiling so hard, my face hurts. The photographer arrives. The girls ask Hannah if they can have a special surprise cake for Katie’s birthday. Chef Ben says he’s not a pastry chef, but it will be good practice.

The photographer makes the girls giggle. They oil up and pose on the deck. Danny inserts himself into their conversations. One of the girls is really amazing with the hula hoop. Danny thinks so too, and Bryan gets pissed because he’s not where he’s supposed to be. He flirts with one of the models, which Bryan likes even less. The photographer leaves and is meeting them on shore the next day.

The table is set for dinner and it’s beautiful, with gold place settings. In stark contrast, the guest cabins look like suitcases exploded in them. Uh-oh, one of the girls asks another one about her and Danny while Hannah is serving. I’m pretty sure that’s not good. Danny is on late watch.

The girls want a late night snack and Ben gets up to deal with it. They’re seriously impressed, because they would have been fine with a Tupperware container full of leftovers, and he’s made them a mini feast.

One of the girls is hanging out on the couch and Danny is flirting. Bobby comes in and tells him they have to do yada, yada, yada, and Danny hugs the girl good-night. Bobby is like, this is so not cool after what just happened and the captain lecturing them.

Damn. Danny pops back in after he’s done with whatever, and chats up the girls. Hannah says the reason the girls are still up is because of him, and she wants to go to bed. Hannah takes him aside and asks him to knock it off.

The photographer is there bright and early. Danny is still sleeping, which is not going over well with Bryan. When he finally gets up, he makes a beeline for the girls who are getting ready for the shoot. He takes a selfie with one of them. Bryan tells him he doesn’t want to see his phone again and it’s not middle-school summer camp.

Small boats are taken to transport the models, crew and lunch to an island. The photos are taken and lunch is eaten. Tiffany is happy because she’s getting along better with Hannah. Bobby organizes a touch football game on the beach while Danny flirts with one of the girls. She wants to sneak off. He says he knows he shouldn’t, but he has butterflies. Oh please.

Next time, Julia finds the guys distracting, Bryan calls out Danny, and the captain lectures Danny. Week two of Danny.

May 10, 2016 — GH, Below the Grecian Deck & Lots of Wrong Loving

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

Hope you get a chance to check out The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: Secrets Revealed. The Secrets episode used to be subtitled Lost Footage, but I’m glad they changed it. It was just a bit of an insult to our intelligence (even though we are watching Real Housewives). I mean, really, did anyone think they just suddenly found this stuff? Sometimes, the scenes in Secrets Revealed are better than what we’ve seen throughout the season, and certainly more pleasant, and this one was a really fun show.

General Hospital

Alexis ponders a sleeping Julian. She goes downstairs and calls a guy named Oscar. She wants a post-mortem on Hale. She wants to know if it’s confirmed that it was an accidental overdose. Sam pops out of the dark in the living room.

Sonny makes a nice dinner for Carly. She wonders when he had the time and he says he sometimes cooks something up in the restaurant kitchen to relieve stress. Who knew? Carly tells him to let the legal system to take care of Carrrlos and he says it hasn’t done too well so far.

Paul tells Jordan if they don’t come up with some physical evidence to support the case, Carrrlos is going to walk.

Griff sees Anna’s gun box. She says she didn’t get a chance to put it away after securing her firearm when she got back. Griff gets nervous around guns and Anna asks if it’s because of Duke. He says partly, but one was also used against him.

Lulu and Maxie discuss wedding dresses. Maxie wants to go look at wedding dresses in NYC and take a side trip to Claudette’s address. She says once she knows why everything is such a secret, she can live happily ever after with Nathan.

Jason tells Dante he’s going to get him out of there. How? In the blown up van or the motorcycle?

Jordan asks Paul if it isn’t his job to compensate the lack of evidence by making a good argument. He thinks back to when he left the pen and paperclip for Carrrlos.

Carrrlos hides in the woods. Nathan calls for an ambulance and back up.

Carly brings up Sabrrrina’s statement, but Sonny says it can be thrown out of court since she’s not present and there’s no physical evidence. He says Alexis will do anything to protect Julian. Carly says that’s only because she can’t have Sonny, the mobster she really wanted and had to settle.

Alexis asks why Sam is sitting there in the dark and if she and Danny are okay. Sam says Danny is at the Quartermaines’ and she came to check on Alexis. Alexis says Anna was unhinged and practically twisted arms to put her in lock-up. She tells Sam that Anna was relentless in bringing up the past. Sam asks why Alexis would order an autopsy in the middle of the night and Alexis says she’s just being thorough. Sam tells her she wants her to stop with the defense of Carrrlos.

Nathan asks what the ETA is, since there are three injured people. Jason tends to Dante who asks what happened and where Nathan and Carrrlos are. I guess he doesn’t care about the poor nameless dead driver. Oddly enough, the only one who was apparently wearing a seat belt.

Anna asks if Griff was shot and he says yes. She asks if it was a robbery. He says he wasn’t a victim and the truth is, he asked for it because he was doing something he shouldn’t have been doing. He says he was committing an act that had no justification, but he’s asked forgiveness for it. Okay, he has me intrigued. The phone rings. It’s Jordan and Anna has to go to the station. Griff also has to go to the ER and Anna asks if they can continue later.

Alexis asks for some consideration and Sam thinks she’s being coerced in some way. Sam says not to lecture her about how Carrrlos deserves a defense; it’s Julian’s mess to clean up, not hers. She says Julian ordered Carrrlos to kill Duke and he hasn’t changed or redeemed what he’s done in the past. She reminds Alexis there’s a reason for no statute of limitations on murder. Alexis says Jason is no better, but Sam say she’s not going to get sidetracked by listing how they’re different. Sam asks if she wanted the autopsy report because she wants to know if Julian killed Hale. Julian appears and says Sam should ask him that.

Lulu tells Maxie that bringing up the past doesn’t change it or make it better. Maxie says she doesn’t doubt Nathan loves her, but she doesn’t want Claudette being the unseen third person in their marriage. Lulu says she’s made peace with the Valerie and Dante thing and Maxie should just let it go.

Jason tells Dante what happened. He says the driver didn’t make it, but didn’t see anyone else except Dante. Dante asks how he got out from under the van and Jason says that’s a long story. A long story with a bunch of people who weren’t really there.

Anna blows into the station, yelling at Jordan about Carrrlos escaping. Jordan says she didn’t even have to tell Anna and Anna calms down. Jordan gives her the preliminary details. She says Carrrlos fled on foot with Nathan pursuing. Paul joins them and says it might be a random accident. Anna asks if he orchestrated it.

Julian says he refuses to let Sam accuse Alexis of anything and she tells him to butt out. The phone rings and Alexis finds out about Carrrlos’s escape from a transfer she wasn’t advised about. She has to leave but tells Sam and Julian to mind their manners with each other. Julian says he supposes Sam thinks he had something to do with Carrrlos’s escape.

Carly says Alexis wanted to reform Sonny into a house husband. He says he only cooks on special occasions. She says Alexis couldn’t move on and turned it into a moral crusade until she finally got a mobster of her own. Sonny says he agrees, but he’s more worried about her getting Carrrlos off. Carly says what if that happens? Sonny says she sounds like Jason asking a question he doesn’t want the answer to. Sonny says Jason is conflicted and thinks Sonny wants him to do his dirty work. Carly says they have to give him time to trust his instincts and let his memory bring him back.

Max calls. Sonny asks if he’s sure and who’s involved.

Lulu gets a call from the station about Dante and has to go to the ER. She asks Maxie to call Olivia to look after Rocco and explains about Dante.

Jason tells Dante about how he moved the van and how it blew up afterward. Dante says Jason saved his life. Well, yeah.

Sam says she doesn’t know if Julian had anything to do with Hale’s death, but she doesn’t like what it’s doing to Alexis. Julian says as soon as Carrrlos gets off, everything will be over. Sam is like, I see you don’t care much about the witness dying. She says she was supportive until the wedding turned into a hostage situation and she realized Julian hadn’t changed. She says Alexis seems less like an attorney than a desperate woman trying to hang on to the man she loves and she blames him for that.

Paul says how could he have caused an accident from the station?

Maxie and Lulu run into the hospital and Griff brings him up to speed. Maxie says Nathan isn’t answering her texts and is worried that he was in the accident too.

The paramedics arrive. Dante asks if Nathan is okay. One of the EMTs says Nathan could have a possible skull fracture and Nathan passes out.

Carrrlos somehow finds himself back at the docks like a homing pigeon.

Sonny and Carly get to the hospital. Lulu tells them what happened. Carly says the only thing they know is that there was an explosion. Dante is brought in. He tells Griff he’s fine, even though he has a knife sticking out of him and probably squashed legs. He tells them how Jason got him out from under the van. Nathan is brought in next. Griff says he’ll do everything in his power to save him; he owes him that much. More intrigue.

There’s a knock at Julian’s door. It’s Jason looking for Sam. She asks if he’s okay and he says better than he’s been in a long time.

Alexis asks Paul where Anna is. He says she slipped out and that can only mean she’s going after Carrrlos on her own.

Like the buzzards returning to Hinckley, Anna goes to the docks. She finds Carrrlos hiding. He says they meet again in the same place. He says she shot him four times and he’s not wearing a vest this time. He says she has a second chance because he’s not going back to prison. He tells her to pull the trigger and make it count. Nooo! Not my Carrrlos!

Anna tells him he deserves it, but there’s enough evidence to get a guilty verdict. She says a cop died tonight because of him. He says the accident wasn’t part of his plan; he was just trying to save his own life. She says that’s all that matters to him. He says she’s just like him and asks if she would be chasing him that hard if it hadn’t been Duke. Uh-oh, it doesn’t look like he’s going to make it. Oh wait, he was just fooling and gets the best of Anna. The gun goes into the water and they fight. Nice. She kicks his ass, but he ends up the victor. Anna is down for the count.

Paul tells Alexis he’s been watching her calculate what works out best for Julian and she tells him to go to hell.

Carrrlos takes Anna into a freeezer of some kind and leaves her there. What the blip do they do on the docks? Why is there a humongous freezer there?

Dante tells everyone what he remembers. Sonny says he should have killed Carrrlos when he had the chance. Dante apologizes for the screw up even though it’s not his fault. Jordan comes running in and says Nathan just went into surgery. Sonny says if she wants to find Carrrlos to check with Julian.

Jason wants to talk to Sam, who says she and Julian will talk later

Carrrlos calls Julian and says he needs Julian’s help – now

Sam tells Jason he should go to the hospital. He says he’s not hurt, but he remembers. He remembers everything, and I can’t believe I start to tear up. They kiss

Tomorrow, Anna is found, Carrrlos is surrounded, and Kiki says Franco is losing his mind.

Below Deck: Mediterranean

When we last left, Hannah was running around like a nut trying to find a way for the primary’s husband, boyfriend or whatever he is, to watch the Steelers game, lest the crew be penalized. Whiny Bob complains that he’s never missed a game and he was too stupid to plan the vacay around this one. I added that last part because I hate him with a passion.

Captain Mark messes with the cable on the yacht. The guys are all helping and they finally get an internet connection.

Ben is cooking scorpion fish and prays the guests like it, since Bob was a d-bag about the moussaka. He says it’s the filet mignon of fish. Hannah comes back and says there’s not one bar she can find that has anything but a local channel. Fear not though, the captain has come to the rescue. Tiffany is also a big Steelers fan and is jazzed.

Aw, Bob is all happy now like I give a flying. Ben is concerned that the kitchen is going to turn into a social hub. Hannah serves dinner and King Bob is pleased. Let’s all bow down, shall we? Do these people realize they’re on camera or do they just not care? After I saw a re-run of a Below Deck episode where there was an even more insufferable primary, he got on Twitter and claimed it wasn’t like that. He’d made a display of withholding part of the tip for a reason so petty, I’ve forgotten what it was. I didn’t fault him for tipping less, but it was appalling that he made a show of it, presenting the wad of cash to Captain Lee, and then removing some of it. I rarely tweet, but I told him that it was like that and maybe he should buy himself a personality with all his money. I just couldn’t help it.

Julia and Bobby seem to be getting along pretty well. She asks how well he holds his liquor and he says he can maintain, which means something totally different where she comes from.

Cranky Bob tells the captain his life story, like the captain cares. There’s difficulty with the buffering in streaming the game. The crew is exhausted already and the game will be on until 6 am their time.

They’re getting snippets of the game and it keeps going to freeze frame. Get these people drunk and show them cartoons, I say. Hannah goes to bed while Bob uses the f-word a couple of thousand times. He sniffles that the audio is bad. Tiffany hears me and says she’s gong to get him drunk. Aw, Bob is finally happy and jumping up and down like the 3-year-old he is. The Steelers loose. Good. I don’t really care, I just hate Bob.

Bob tells Danny he’s thinking of stealing one of the small boats. Let him, I say. Bryan tells Danny his radio is out and he shouldn’t be so casual with the guests. Danny thinks if he makes a connection, they might get a better tip. Duh, yeah.

Everyone is up and working. Julia says you always have to be doing something. It’s kind of like working at the Gap. I worked there for a back-to-school season when I first moved to NYC and you had to be moving all the time just in case the regional manager came in. We unfolded and refolded clothes a lot. Hannah asks Stupid Bob if he’s happy and he says yes, but she’s not happy with Tiffany. Tiffany watched some of the game with Bob at his request, since no one else was willing to keep him company all night, and Hannah thinks she should be working harder. I guess she was supposed to clone herself.

Jen hates everything about Greece, specifically the old buildings (what you call ancient architecture) and the food. Add another moron to the list. Ben tells Hannah to chill about Tiffany. He says she’s a third stew and not expected to be amazing yet. Hannah sends Tiffany to help Julia. Tiffany is upset about how Hannah is treating her and since Julia’s been in the same position, she tells her everything will be fine.

Hannah says she wants Tiffany to succeed and be happy, but doesn’t want to lower her standards. Ben tells her again to chill.

Captain Mark has been giving specific instructions on how to dock in this particular place because it’s really tight. I know from the previous seasons that docking is extremely difficult and has to be done perfectly. Bryan tells Jen what she needs to do. She claims she can do it with one hand tied behind her back, but she hasn’t seemed very capable up until now.

Big discussion among the male guests about the game. I’m hoping Village Idiot Bob had money on it. Deckhand Bobby says it’s nerve-wracking trying to dock. Captain Mark says it’s tough with a group of people who have never done this together before. Ben is impressed with the captain. The crew gets into their formal-wear for the departure.
Impossible-To-Please Bob says despite the game debacle, it’s the best trip he’s ever had. I wouldn’t have guessed that. I’d hate to be with him when he’s having a bad time.

Jen and Tiffany bond because neither one of them are “girly.” Bob tells Hannah he took an “objective test” and he’s clinically depressed. Did he get it off the internet?

It’s good-by or aloha or whatever. Primary Guest Christine thanks the captain and crew. She says everything was great, but there were a couple of “hiccups.” God, I promise if you make me rich, I won’t be an a-hole. Please-oh-please-oh-please. As fabulous as I think working on a yacht would be, I seriously doubt I could handle some of these people. They bitch about the game and how Bob wasn’t pleased. This comes from another one of the female guests since Cowardly Bob isn’t in sight and Christine just stands there and smiles. Now, my favorite part — tip time!

Captain Mark says they did quite well considering some of the obstacles they had. 15,000 Euros or $1388 each. For a three day trip. The captain says they deserve a night out and no drinking too much on the boat.

Julia has been with her boyfriend for two years and she says he’s a keeper. They show a few pics of him and I have to agree, he looks good. She says she used to be an idiot where men are concerned. Jen is pissed because she feels like she’s not being given important tasks. Well, maybe one of the reasons is her attitude. Bryan FaceTimes with his dad and tells him about his promotion to chief officer.

The crew gets gussied up and has a kiki before going to shore. Tiffany says she’s going to marry Ben so her name can be Mrs. Robinson. Hannah is embarrassed because Tiffany is drinking wine out of a bottle. Who cares? I can tell Hannah is going to be a barrel of laughs on night’s out.

The crew goes to a restaurant and makes small talk. Hannah acts all flirty with Ben. My advice to Ben is, don’t. While they’re having wine and deciding what to order, Tiffany calls Hannah “mom,” so Hannah calls her a trashbag. I’m not kidding. What a horrible human being. Tiffany is either too nice or drunk to say anything equally disgusting back. After dinner, they move on to a bar. They sit outside and Hannah keeps calling Tiffany a trashbag until Danny tells her to knock it off. Thank you. Tiffany says something about being tired and Hannah gets on her case because you shouldn’t complain about your job during off hours while you’re drinking. Hannah says Tiffany needs to take responsibility for what she signed up for. Both Ben and Bryan think Hannah is wasting her time trying to lecture someone who is drunk. Bryan tries to get in the middle and Hannah tells him to piss off. Hannah makes Tiffany cry, so I guess she feels successful now.

Danny is hitting on some girls and gets some numbers. Like he’s ever going to get together with anyone he met in Greece. Ben tells Tiffany he’s sorry she had to deal with Hannah’s crap on her night off. Ben thinks that stuff shouldn’t be done during off hours and especially not while you’re drinking. Another thank you. Ben likes Tiffany because she’s weird and smart. Hannah discusses Tiffany with Bryan. He tells her it’s the time to let loose, not the time for criticism. She tells him to stay in his lane and in his interview, he says she seems to have forgotten he’s the boss as first officer. Hannah gives him the finger and says he’s not going to get away with speaking to her like that. She tells him to do his managing the way he wants to and she’ll do hers the way she wants to. But you’re not managing, Blanche!

Next week, Danny brings girls on the boat, the yacht is chartered for a photo shoot, Danny hits on the models, and Danny cries. Lots of Danny.

If Loving You Is Wrong

When we left, Brad had just walked in, wanting to talk to Alex, but discovered Randal there. Alex didn’t want Randal there, but that’s Brad’s usual bad timing. Randal says he was just there to see his son and he was just leaving. Randal says he’ll see Alex tomorrow in court and she tells him to get out. He says, see you, little Randal, to the baby with that stupid, sick smile on his face.

Alex asks Brad why he’s there and he says it’s obvious she wasn’t expecting him. She says he was supposed to call when he was coming to see the kids. He says he lied, but she wouldn’t know anything about lying. She says if he wants a fight, he’s going to fight by himself and Randal was just there to see his son. Brad says, so you admit it now, like it wasn’t obvious. I mean, really. Brad acts high and mighty, and Alex says she’s apologized a million times, but the only time Brad is happy is when he’s punishing her. Brad says he doesn’t know her anymore and she says that makes two of them. He says he’s been consistent and Alex is like, really? Moving in with Marcie is consistent? They spar a little more and she asks why he’s there. Brad says hearing her say that makes him realize he shouldn’t be and Alex is like, bye then.

Julius Sr.’s sidekick throws Julius up against the wall and says all he had to do was wait a day and his father would have died with dignity. Instead, he killed him. Julius says he’s the boss now and the sidekick works for him. Sidekick says Julius’s father wanted the will read immediately after his death and he’ll see him at the lawyer’s office.

Lushion goes to Kelly’s office. She apologizes for letting Natalie put his name on the loan papers, but he says it’s cool. She asks if he’s there on business or social and he says both. He can tell something is wrong and Kelly tells him about seeing a girl at Ramses’s house. Lushion asks if she asked who the girl was, and Kelly says no, she just left. Lushion says she shouldn’t play games and just ask if she has a question. Lushion asks how long before he and Natalie can move in and Kelly tells him 30-45 days. He says he’s anxious to move Natalie and their kids into the new place and Kelly is impressed with him calling the kids theirs when only one is really his. He asks if Ramses would rent to them until the sale. Kelly is annoyed that she has to go back and talk to Ramses so soon, but Lushion begs a little and she relents. He asks her not to tell Natalie.

Marcie comes home to Brad staring out the window. She says she told him to go home. Brad tells Marcie that Alex was there with Randal who was visiting his son. Brad says he’d never hurt the baby, but every day it would be a reminder. Marcie says the baby is innocent, but Brad says the baby would just trigger bad memories and on top of it, they’d have to share custody. Marcie tells him that he can do it if he tries. He says if moving in together was a mistake, just tell him and he’ll go. She says it’s a mistake and she wants him to leave. She says ever since they made love she’s regretted it because she craves him now, and she doesn’t want to be involved with him because it would mean Randal and Alex pushed them together. She doesn’t want them to have that power. Interesting.

Lushion gazes lovingly at Natalie while she’s working. She tells him she’s sorry about the disk and asks if he found it. He says no, but that’s not why he’s there. He says a friend at the hospital gave him some perspective. He tells her she’s beautiful and she asks if he wants lunch. He says no, he just came there to stare at her. He says he’s going to wear the kids out at the park so they can have an uninterrupted evening. They talk about the house and he says he never liked the idea of shacking up and asks her to marry him.

Lushion asks for everyone’s attention. He tells the entire room that he loves Natalie and wants to marry her. Then he asks her again and shows her a ring, while everyone stares at them. After he asks like seven times, she says yes. Everyone applauds.

It’s time for the reading of the will. Both Tilda and Julius’s mother are there and start to argue when Julius comes in. He asks why Tilda is there and the lawyer says his father wanted her there. He starts to read the will. It begins by him saying if anyone objects or contests to anything, they’ll be cut out. He puts on the video.

Julius Sr. says he’s of sound mind and all that. He leaves Tilda, the love of his life, the house and $25 million; his daughter with her gets the rest of his fortune. He says Julius tried to put a pillow over his face and killed him (oooh, he’s like Helena), and says his wife is no better and always coddled Julius. He says she’s the most selfish, vindictive bitch he’s ever met and Julius needs to go his own way. Julius smashes the TV screen. Dammit! I wanted to hear more. He gets in the lawyer’s face and the lawyer says he’s sorry. Julius is like, fine, and leaves with mommy. The lawyer tells Tilda, congratulations. She says thank you, but she’s crying.

Esperanza gets a call about Claudia at the station. She says she’s confused because when she called, she was told Claudia never worked there. Esperanza asks if Lushion checked on Claudia. He says she did and she’s clean. Esperanza says a supervisor from a previous job just called and says she did work there, after Esperanza was told she didn’t. Esperanza says something is wrong, and that Claudia doesn’t know anything about the system. Eddie rolls up and Esperanza explains the Claudia situation. Eddie says he’ll run her too.

Lushion makes a phone call so quiet, I have no idea what he said.

Marcie goes to a house where they’re doing some construction work. She asks the crew to make themselves scarce because she has a client coming. Randal walks in and she tells him to leave. Randal says he wants to talk to her and she screams for help. She says she doesn’t want to talk to him. Nice of those guys not to come back when she yelled. They couldn’t have possibly gotten that far. Randal says he’s going to make her life a living hell and she says he already has. He says she slept with that bastard and she says just like he did. Randal asks if it made her feel better and she says yes. He says she’s living with Brad now, and Marcie lies, saying they’re doing it every night. He suggests visiting and bringing Alex. He is so sickening. He goes on to say that he tried having a baby with Marcie and nothing happened, but it did with Alex. Marcie says she has a client coming and, no surprise, Randal says he’s the one who set up the appointment. He says he hasn’t begun to fight and she tells him to watch out because she has a serious mean streak. She smacks his face with the back of her hand and walks out. He says he can’t wait.

Travis is on Kelly’s porch, like I haven’t had enough of sickening men tonight. He says she lured him into her house and had sex with him, she didn’t return his calls, and now he caught her with someone else. She says he can’t “catch” her because there’s nothing between them. She tells him to go home. She says he’s the one who left her to get engaged to someone else, and sometimes the one who gets hurt deserves it. She tells him to get lost and he grabs her. She says he’s hurting her and he gets all nasty and way too close and weird. Where is Ramses when she needs him? Finally, he lets her go and leaves. I thought he was just odd before, now I think he’s seriously disturbed.

Steve asks Eddie what he’s doing and says he’ll be in trouble if the captain catches him in the files. Eddie says his name is Edward, “which stands for I don’t give a damn.” Okay… Steve tells him Julius Sr. died.

Lushion motions to Claudia to meet him in the locker room. He tells her Eddie is running her file and he talked to Larry. She thanks him and gives him a hug. In the timing only a soap opera can have, Esperanza walks in. Claudia jets and Esperanza insists they were kissing. Lushion says they were talking, and he was giving Claudia some advice. (Like they always say, the truth lies somewhere in the middle.) She asks if Eddie is rubbing off on him and says to stay away from Claudia or she’ll talk to Natalie. Lushion says he’s not Eddie, and he doesn’t lie and cheat. She says he sneaks around and she’s watching him.

Julius is back at the lawyer’s office. The lawyer says he’s sorry again, but there’s nothing he can do. Julius says he wants to know who his sister is and where she is. Julius, who is another creep, says what happens if she dies. The lawyer says everything goes to him, although I would think it’s Tilda. The lawyer says if there’s anything suspicious about the sister’s death, he doesn’t get anything. The only way he gets anything is if she dies from natural causes.

Julius stabs the lawyer through both hands, pinning his hands to his desk. The lawyer spills and says the sister’s name is Claudia. Julius makes him talk to Tilda on the phone (obviously, Julius dials) and says Claudia needs to come in to sign something. Tilda says she doesn’t deal with her daughter, but she works at the police station. I swear. Julius and Randal must be related. They have the same crazy look. Let me revise that. Julius, Randal, Eddie and now Travis must be related.

Anyway, DUN-DUN-DUNNN!

Next week, Eddie hears there’s an undercover cop at the station, Alex begs Randal to stop (good luck with that), and Lushion wants info from Oliver.