What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Kim gets into the freezer. Josslyn and Oscar are passed out. Kim tells Drew they have to get them out of there.

Carly can’t believe she’s stuck with Nelle. Nelle says she needs to know if the father of her baby is okay. Carly asks if she can’t call him Michael. Does she have to keep reminding her? Nelle says, if anything happened – but Carly interrupts, saying everyone is alive and well; they have to be. Because Carly says so.

Griff asks Michael if he lost consciousness. Michael says he’s been in and out. Griff tells him to follow his finger. He wants to do a CT scan. Sonny tells Michael that he knows he has a hard head, but he needs to be checked out. Michael says he needs to find out about Nelle and the baby.

Elizabeth talks to Franco, saying wherever he is, she’s right here. She feels in her heart that he’s doing everything he can to get back.

Franco asks if the weird old guy is still there. He gets silence, and yells for help.

Jason suggests Mike head over to the evacuation center, but he says he promised to help a guy who’s trapped. Jason tells him relax, and asks who and where?

Kim covers the kids. Josslyn comes to. Kim tells Drew to get her moving, while she works on warming up Oscar. Josslyn wonders why Oscar’s not waking up.

Michael says he’s okay, but Amy is like, get in the wheelchair.

Nelle tells Carly that Michael will come looking for her. Carly is sure he’s concerned about the baby, and Nelle says she hates it that he cares about her. Carly says he tolerates her, but does it in a nice way. Nelle says they share a child, and it’s a bond no one can break, not even her. Carly says one time she was trapped in an elevator in a burning building with Alexis, who she hated at the time. It was torture, but she never thought she’d miss those days. Nelle goes to look for bottled water, and doubles over. Carly asks what game she’s playing.

Mike says a guy needed his help. Jason tells Sam to take Mike to the evacuation center, and he’ll look around. Sam asks Mike to help her get back. Mike says he was on Post Street, but it looks different. Jason asks if that’s where he left the man, but Mike isn’t sure. He says he’ll help look, but Jason tells him to help Sam.

Elizabeth looks at the damage, and says, talk about a wedding disaster. Then again, they don’t lead predictable lives.

Franco bangs on the cabinet, and says, this sucks. He says the old man forgot. He hears someone, and asks what took so long, but it’s Jason.

Kim continues to work on Oscar. She asks Drew to get something to elevate his legs. Chase shows up, and tells them to evacuate. Kim says the kids are suffering from hypothermia, and they need an ambulance. Chase says he can call, but doesn’t know how long it will take them to get there. Drew tells him to take Josslyn, even though she doesn’t want to leave. Drew and Kim keep trying to to warm Oscar.

Nelle thinks she felt a contraction, and says it’s too soon. Carly tells her nice try. Nelle thinks something is wrong. Carly tells her sit, and asks how painful they are. Nelle says, painful, and Carly asks if they’re unpredictable. Nelle doesn’t know, she’s only had four. Carly says, irregular or regular, and Nelle tells her, irregular. She asks if she’s going into labor.

Mike and Sam stop at the church. Mike needs to stop and think. They see Elizabeth, and Sam asks if she’s okay. She says she’s waiting for Franco. Sam asks if he left her at the altar, but she doesn’t know where he is. She asks if it’s bad, and Sam tells her between there and Post Street is pretty bad. Mike remembers Elizabeth. Sam says they should get to the evacuation center, and Mike calls her sweet for looking after him when she should be with Jason. Elizabeth says she’ll watch out for Mike, and Sam leaves. Mike asks Elizabeth how Lucky is, and if he still plays guitar.

Jason acts like an a-hole, and just looks at Franco. Jason thought he was getting married, and Franco says he was on the way, but thought he should let a file cabinet fall on him first. He asks why Jason is there, and where’s the old man? He knows Jason hates him, and Jason says hate doesn’t begin to cover it. Franco says he needs to be somewhere. Jason is a man of honor. He’s trapped and helpless, and Jason can’t leave him. It’s against his code. Jason thinks this over.

Kim loses Oscar’s pulse.

At the hospital, Josslyn is annoyed with Chase, saying he didn’t need to walk her. He says they’ll send the earliest available ambulance for Oscar, but she says that could be hours. She sees Sonny, who asks if she’s okay. She explains what happened, and tells him this jerk dragged her away. Chase says she needs to be checked for hypothermia. Sonny tells Josslyn that Oscar is in good hands, but she says she wanted to be with him. It sounds dumb, but maybe he could sense it if she was there. Sonny says it’s not dumb, and asks Amy to check her for hypothermia. Josslyn tells Amy she was locked in a freezer; long story. Sonny asks Griff how Michael is doing, and Griff says he won’t stop asking about Nelle and the baby. Josslyn tells them that Nelle was working late at the gallery. Sonny says he’ll go, and if the doctor says it’s okay, Josslyn can sit with Michael.

Carly gives Nelle a bottle of water, and tells her to take small sips. She asks when was the last time Nelle had any, and tells her that she could be dehydrated. What she’s experiencing could be Braxton Hicks contractions, which are basically practice contractions. Nelle asks what if it’s real labor, and Carly tells her to stop stressing; it’s not good for the baby. Nelle says Michael is a good person, and wonders how he can possibly be hers. Carly says she asks herself that question every day; she’s just lucky. She tells Nelle to drink the water and try to breathe. Nelle asks if she means like in the childbirth classes she takes with Michael. Carly says yes, and tells her to stop talking, and just breathe.

Mike tells Elizabeth that she probably heard gossip about him having memory issues. He forgets things now and then, but he sure remembers her and Lucky. Elizabeth says they’re not married anymore. Mike asks, since when, and she says a long time. Before the earthquake, today was supposed to be her wedding day. Mike asks where the groom is, but Elizabeth doesn’t know. She says probably caught up in what’s happening. She asks Mike if he’s okay, and he says ever since the doctor said the name of what’s wrong, he’s been scared. Elizabeth asks what he’s scared of, and he says not just the forgetting. That’s bad enough, but it’s his son. He doesn’t want him looking at him the way he’s starting to. Elizabeth says Sonny loves him. He knows that, but tonight all he wanted was to go to a place he’d known before, where he felt safe, but it’s not there anymore. Dude, I feel your pain. A lot of my old NYC haunts are gone.

Franco asks if this is how it ends? Jason is just going to leave him. Jason says like he left Michael and Sam. Franco says he was different then, and Jason says so were they. Michael was seventeen, and trapped in prison when Franco sent someone to rape him. Franco says it wasn’t supposed to go that way, and Jason asks if it was supposed to go that way with Sam, how he made her think he’d raped her. Franco tells Jason that he sick. He literally had no control over what he was doing; the tumor was eating his brain. Jason says he’ll never forget what Franco did to them. He told Franco that he would pay. Now’s the time. Sam yells for Jason. She steps into the office, and sees Franco.

Jason says he’ll meet Sam outside. Franco tells her that Jason is going to be her hero and avenge her. She says she doesn’t want to be there. She doesn’t care about him – never did and never will – but she doesn’t need Jason to avenge her, and neither does Michael. They’ve made peace with it, and she doesn’t want to go backward and relive the hate. She doesn’t want that for him either. She’d rather see Franco live than keep the secret of how he died.

Mike tells Elizabeth that whatever the thing is he has, he sees faces he’s known like they’re old friends, then others he used to care about seem like strangers. Elizabeth can’t imagine how hard it is. Mike can’t either, and it’s happening to him. She says he’s lucky to have family that are happy to help him remember things. He says she was always a sweetheart, and impossible to forget. She says he’s still a charmer. He says, for now, but probably in time, he’ll forget her; at least that’s what they tell him. It’s a damn shame. He takes Elizabeth’s hand, and tells her not to go feeling sorry. He knows the score, and that’s half the battle. She guesses it is. I am so impressed with Max Gail. He brings tears to my eyes.

Carly asks Nelle about the contractions, and Nelle says they’ve stopped – for now. Maybe she was right. Carly explains that Braxton Hicks contractions were named after the doctor who first diagnosed them. Nelle says she still has a lot to learn about babies. Sonny calls out for Nelle, and Carly says they’re in there, but the door is stuck. He says he’ll find way in, and Carly says, they’re saved.

Chase sees Dante at the hospital. Josslyn comes out in what Amy calls “hospital couture,” since her clothes were damp from the freezer. She tells Josslyn that she can go home now, but she doesn’t want to go anywhere until she knows her brother and Oscar are okay. Amy explains to Dante that Michael is being treated for a concussion. Chase says that he found Josslyn and her boyfriend in a freezer, and Josslyn asks why he didn’t help Oscar. Chase says he’s on another assignment, and adds that Oscar’s mother is a doctor, and said he shouldn’t be moved. Dante says he’ll be back in an hour, and Josslyn tells him to make sure Oscar is okay.

Kim does CPR, saying she might need Drew’s help. Oscar begins to breathe, and has a pulse. They warm him up some more, and he opens his eyes. Kim tells him to stay with them.

Michael comes out. Josslyn hugs him, and asks how he’s feeling. He says he’ll live. Nelle and Carly come in with Sonny. Carly says they were stuck in the gallery; the earthquake messed up the security system, and they couldn’t open the door. Michael says he got a concussion, but he’s fine. Josslyn tells Carly about being trapped in the freezer, and how a cop came and dragged her out. She start to cry, saying she’s worried about Oscar. Carly holds her.

Kim tells Oscar that he gave her a scare. He says it was his stupid idea, and thanks her and Drew for finding them. Kim says they’re his parents, and they’ll always come for him.

Carly asks Amy to check Nelle. Nelle thinks she’s fine, but she’s concerned about Michael. Griff says Michael needs some quiet and rest. Michael says now that he knows Nelle and the baby are okay, he’s good. Carly suggests that Nelle go with Amy to be checked out. Sonny says everyone is accounted for except for Mike. The police are doing everything they can, but have a lot on their plate.

Mike asks Elizabeth who the lucky guy is, and she says the last person she expected to fall in love with, but he’s perfect for her. Mike says if he’s worthy of her love, he must be someone special. Chase shows up, and Mike tells him to go away. Mike says he knows him, and to leave him alone – he hasn’t done anything wrong. Chase says he’s trying to make sure everyone is safe. He’s not there to arrest him, but help him. He’s been instructed to find everyone and get them to safety. Mike says he guesses his grandson told Chase not to mess with him, and Chase says Dante gave him a real earful and Sonny is a very powerful man. Mike tells him not to forget it. He tells Mike his family is waiting at the hospital, but Mike will only go if Elizabeth can come. She tells him to go; she’s waiting for someone. Chase says he doesn’t think they’re coming, but she says she’ll take her chances; she insists on staying. Mike gives Chase a word of advice; never mess with a bride on her wedding day. Chase says it’s the wisest advice anyone has ever given him. He tells Elizabeth to be careful, and don’t stay too long.

Sam and Jason lift the cabinet, and Franco slides out. I guess nothing is broken? He thanks them, and limps out the door. Jason doesn’t know how Sam can just let him go like that. She says you can get stuck in the past, or accept what happened and choose to move on, living your best life. That’s what he taught her. Maybe she can teach him something. His hate for Franco can’t exist, and the pain can’t be there. If something happened, what would Jake say? When Jake is old enough to understand, it will be his choice, and how he chooses to deal is up to him. In the meantime… Jason says, gotta move on. Sam asks if he thinks he can, and he says he’ll try for her. She tells him she has to get to The Floating Rib. She looks around for a dog tag Danny gave her for Annabelle that must have fallen out of her pocket.

Elizabeth says, he’s not coming, but there he is. They embrace.

Mike sees Sonny at the hospital, and they hug. Mike tells Sonny that this time Sherlock Holmes here managed to respect his elders. Sonny says he owes Chase another one, and Chase suggests he keep an eye on Mike. Carly asks if she can take Michael home, but he has to be admitted for observation. He insists he just has a headache, but Griff says concussions are serious, and he needs to be monitored. They’re also keeping Nelle overnight as a precaution. Michael wants to check on her, but Carly says he needs to rest. Griff asks Amy to take him upstairs. Josslyn wants to wait for Oscar, and Carly tells her not to leave the ER.

Drew hears someone coming, and calls for help. Dante comes in, and says good, Oscar is awake. His girlfriend will be happy. Oscar asks if she’s okay, and Dante tells him that she is. Kim asks if he’s ready to get out, and Oscar says he wants to see Josslyn.

Jason finds the dog tag, Sam tells him to hang on to it; he has more pockets. Suddenly, everything starts to shake again.

Tomorrow, Ned says the city is in chaos, Molly is admitted to the hospital, and Jason and Sam slide around Jim’s office. Speaking of which, whatever happened to Jim? Hopefully, a brick knocked some sense into him.

The Haves and the Have Nots

When last we left, David told Hanna that he knows Benny buried Quincy in Candace’s backyard. If he doesn’t turn himself in, David is having him prosecuted for murder.

Hanna says she doesn’t know what he’s talking about, but David thinks she does. She tells him to talk to her son. He says he tried, but he was busy having sex with Veronica. He thinks Hanna is smarter than her son. Hanna tells him not to be insulting, and he says it’s just an observation. She says he needs to observe his ass elsewhere. David says Benny needs to do what’s right. She’s a good Christian woman and should convince him. He says Candace is at the root of this mess; she got both of their sons involved. He doesn’t understand how she can still claim Candace as her child, and she says the same way he stood by wicked-ass Veronica all those years.

Hanna tells David that she won’t talk to Benny, and is through talking to him. He needs to talk to Benny. David says, for God’s sake, and she says for Him and David’s trifling wife. She doesn’t trust or like him. He lied when he knew her son was innocent. She thought he cared when she saw him cry, but it was only the Holy Spirit convicting him of lying. He’s asking that her son tell the truth, and she says she wanted David to tell the truth, but he didn’t. He asks if it’s biblical, and she says, an eye for an eye. He says that’s rather Old Testament, and she says it’s the one she’s leaning on right now.

Benny walks up, and asks what the hell David is doing there. Hanna says telling her about his ass sleeping with Veronica. David tells Benny to turn his ass in to the police, or he will. He tells Benny the police are looking for him. Benny says the body is inadmissible. David says he sees Veronica is training him well. Benny tells David to get out before he pisses him off. David says he can make it difficult. He tells Hanna that Benny is hanging out with Mitch, who comes from a mob family. Benny tells him again to get out. It dawns on Hanna that David wants to get her son into jail to get Jeffrey out, and tells him to get his trifling ass out; it’s about to get ugly. He says it’s already ugly. He tells Benny that Veronica isn’t to be trusted. Benny says he can’t trust David either. David finally leaves.

While flying in a tiny plane, Landon tells Charles that they’re looking good, but they’re behind in the red states. They have to turn the tide. He asks why they’re out here, and Charles says, they’re trying to turn the tide. Landon noticed Georgia on the list, and Charles says he’s trying to get more support there. Landon thinks Atlanta might be better than Savannah. He asks if Charles wants to see Candace, and Charles says he thought he made that clear. Landon says he’ll set it up.

Hanna tells Benny that he lied to her again. When she saw him at the hospital holding Veronica’s hand, she knew it. Benny says she called and wanted to talk about a case. He went to her house, and one thing led to another. Hanna says he’s talking like a stupid-ass man who doesn’t know how to keep it in his pants. She wishes his father had taught him morals and values. She thought she put sense into him when he was young. Benny insists he told Veronica it can’t happen again, and Hanna says he told her that last time. She asks what is it with the mob, and Benny says Mitch’s family is in the mob, but he’s not. Hanna wonders why David knows, and Benny says they had a run-in with each other. Hanna has one more question; what about the truck? Benny says he’s getting it on a lease. She says he’s spending time with Veronica, and now he’s talking about a truck. What credit does he have? She says he’s lying to her like about everything else. She has enough with Candace, and can’t take it from him. She says when she prays, she always finds out the truth, so he might as well tell her. Benny says he can’t do this. He’s just trying to get enough to get out of this woman’s house; it’s not theirs. Hanna says he’s following his sister’s path; she’s a liar, and whatever she has to in order to get ahead. It ain’t right; she can feel it in her spirit. He asks her to drop it, and she says it’s done.

Candace finds Landon waiting in her room. She asks what he’s doing there. He asks if that’s any way to talk to the man who got her out of jail. She says she doesn’t need him or Charles, and Landon says Charles doesn’t like to lose. She says she’s not an election or a prize. Landon says he’s going to win. Candace says she doesn’t care. Landon does; it’s his job. Charles likes her, and he’s not doing well personally. His debates have been off since he met her. (Really? It didn’t seem that way.) Landon doesn’t know what she does to men, but it messes them up. Charles is happy with her, but Candace says she won’t be used as a tool to prop him up. Landon has no problem with that, but has a problem with her not seeing it. She tells him get out. He thinks she should show some gratitude, and stop robbing old senators. It’s stupid and beneath her. Candace says this is who she is. She grew up in a tough place; it’s what they do. He needs to stop trying to help her and change things; this is her. He says it’s her pathetic way of dealing with her son’s death. She wants everyone to feel her pain. He tells her to cut the bullsh*t. There’s a better life waiting if she just changes a little. She wonders what she’d look like in the White House, and Landon says politics is the same thing. They screw people over, but are just dressed better. She tells Landon that she won’t see Charles. Landon says he’ll tell him, but don’t’ be surprised if he shows up.

Veronica yells for Melissa, finding her in the kitchen. She asks where her alcohol went, and Melissa says Veronica drank it all. Veronica asks if she’s drunk, and Melissa says she’s been drinking, but she’s not drunk. Veronica says she’s pregnant, and Melissa says she’s sure Veronica’s mother must have been drinking, and see how she turned out? Veronica grabs her, and drags her across he kitchen. Melissa throws up in the sink. Veronica tells her not to do it again, and Melissa says Veronica thinks she can keep her there to incubate her grandchild. Veronica says she won’t let Melissa harm the baby. Melissa says if Veronica thinks she’s going to let her do to the child what she did to her and Jeffrey, she’s sadly mistaken. Veronica tells her don’t do it again, and clean the sink. Melissa says she’s not cleaning anything, and Veronica smacks her. Melissa says Veronica thinks she can control her. Veronica says Melissa had one thing to do – have sex with Jeffrey – and she couldn’t do it. Melissa says he’s gay, and Veronica insists Melissa is the problem. Melissa screams, he’s gay, and says she can’t change it. Veronica says, watch her. Melissa is the problem. She’s trying to be nice, but Melissa is making it difficult. It could be much worse. Right now, she has creature comforts, space, and freedom, but she could lose all of that. Keep it up, and she will. Melissa says Veronica will never see baby, but Veronica says, quite the contrary. She will. Melissa wishes Veronica had died in the accident. Veronica says Melissa better be glad she’s not bruised or burned. She never forgets.

At the hotel, Jim is enjoying his time in bed with Gia, when Kathryn walks in. She says just as she thought, another whore. Gia asks who she is, and Kathryn says his wife. Gia didn’t know he was married, and Kathryn asks if the ring didn’t give it away. She tells Gia to get her clothes on and get out, unless she wants to get shot. Gia grabs her stuff she grabs her stuff and jets. Jim yells that Gia owes him. Kathryn says she owes him too; she should shoot him and put him out of his misery.

Kathryn tells Jim that they have a problem. He says they always do. She tells him it’s serious. The DA came to visit. They have the bullets, and there’s a match between Amanda and Jennifer. Jim says he should have known. He tries to call Sarah, but gets voicemail. Kathryn asks what they’re going to do. Jim doesn’t know, since it’s hard to think from a hotel room. He says the first thing is to testify against her. Maybe it’s not the right time for her to want a divorce; should he sign papers now? She repeats that it’s serious, and he says her cutting off his credit isn’t? He tells her to reinstate the money back into his account, then they’ll have something to talk about. She needs him more than she ever did in her life. Kathryn picks up the phone.

Gia goes to Candace’s hotel room, and tells her that the john’s wife was talking about shooting her. Candace tells her to calm down and breathe. Gia says she almost died, and Candace says, stop being dramatic, and save it for the johns. Gia says his wife jut came right in. Candace gives her a bottle of something from the minibar, and asks what happened. Gia says she just came in and said she was going to shoot her. Candace asks if she had a gun, and Gia says, no. Candace says she needs to toughen up. Gia isn’t sure she wants to be in this business, but Candace says, it’s her. She tells Gia to take a shower and find another john. Gia says she can’t do this, but Candace tells her that she can and will. She asks questions about the john, and realizes it was Jim. She asks if liked her, and how much he paid. Gia says he didn’t; she ran. Candace tells her never leave money behind. Even if his wife has an Uzi, always get the money. She tells Gia that Jim doesn’t like weak; he’s a dog eat dog kind of guy. She has to go back and get the money, and Gia asks what about his wife. Candace says she’s a joke. She can, and will, walk past that bitch. Gia says, okay; she’s got this.

Kathryn talks to Lloyd, and has him transfer $10 million to Jim’s account. Kathryn asks what they’re going to do, and he says he likes having obedient Kathryn back. No more nonsense about a divorce. There’s a knock at the door, and Gia comes in. Kathryn asks what part of get the hell out, bitch, she didn’t understand. Does she want to get shot? Gia just wants what’s hers; her money. Jim says he’ll meet at the bar, but she insists he give it to her now. Kathryn tells Jim to just let her shoot Gia. Jim gives Gia the money and she leaves. Kathryn says now that he’s done paying bills and whores, and he interrupts, saying he earned the money as a lawyer and on the bench. Kathryn laughs. He says they need to take a field trip. They’re going to talk to Wyatt about testifying. Jim will worry about the DA. They have to talk to their son. He tells her that she can go now or stay, but she’s not staying in that nasty-ass room. He says, thank you for small favors.

Wyatt is at the police station filing a report, and sees David. David says he’s there to see his son. Wyatt asks what’s going on, and David tells Wyatt to come with him.

Landon’s nameless friend tells him, welcome to Chicago. She’s working on Candace. Landon doesn’t get it, but she says they’re there to serve for the pleasure of the future president. She asks what’s going on with him, and he tells her not to say she told him so, but she does. She asks if he’s in love with Charles, and he tells her that he is. He doesn’t want to be, and she says she didn’t want to be involved with a nameless senator. I think it’s very appropriate, since she’s a nameless friend. Landon doesn’t know what to do, and she tells him, do nothing. Charles is a straight man, and if he did something it wouldn’t be good, so don’t do anything. Landon says Charles likes to drink, and they meet late at night when he’s wearing his PJ’s with no shirt. She tells him if anything happens, it will end badly. If Charles drinks, Landon has to drink less. She’s fallen into this trap. They part company.

Gia tells Candace that she got the money; the wife was bluffing. Candace says they usually are 99% of the time. Gia is excited about the money, but Candace takes it, and gives her one bill out of the pile. Candace says that’s her cut; now shower while she thinks of a plan for him. He’s a huge score. Gia says Candace took most of money, and Candace tells her, welcome to having a pimp. She wouldn’t make any money if her face was cut up. Candace tears the bill she gave Gia in half, and says complain again. She tells Gia to get her ass in the shower. She counts the money, and says, that’s all he paid? They have to talk.

David sees Jeffrey in the interrogation room. He tells Jeffrey that he’s working on getting him out. He knows it’s hard, but it will be okay. Jeffrey says David has no idea. David tells him that he’s brought someone in as his legal assistant. Wyatt walks in, and says, what the hell? Jeffrey says he didn’t do anything, and Wyatt asks why he’s there. David tells them nothing is supposed to be recorded there, but be careful what they talk about. He says he’ll be back.

Jeffrey tells Wyatt that Veronica had him arrested for Quincy’s murder. Wyatt wonders how she did that, and Jeffrey says he can’t say too much. He asks how Wyatt is, saying he seems fidgety. Why is he worried? Jeffrey is the one locked up. Wyatt asks if his dad will be able to get him out, and Jeffrey hopes so. Wyatt thinks it’s crazy that Jeffrey’s mom would do that, and tells him it will be all right. Jeffrey will testify against his mom, and he’ll testify against his parents, and they’ll be free. Wyatt has $9 million, and Jeffrey can come and live with him. Jeffrey has always been there for him, and he’ll do the same. Jeffrey says he’s tired, and Wyatt says, don’t be. Jeffrey can’t believe his mom did this to him, but Wyatt says he’ll give him money; they can move to Cali if he wants. they’re in the same boat. Jeffrey says she won’t accept him for who he is, and Wyatt says it will be okay Jeffrey thanks him. Wyatt gives him a hug, and… wait for it… Yep. Justin walks in.

Next time, the finale – Jeffrey says he doesn’t belong to Justin, Justin says he’s in love with Jeffrey, Veronica looks amazing with a new hairstyle, Candace tells Veronica she’s unstable, and Veronica asks Candace for David’s address.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

LisaR meets Camille for shopping. Camille is nervous. It’s been hard for her. She’s had several cancer surgeries, and her body has changed. It takes a while to recover from chemo and radiation. She says her boyfriend is very supportive, but she’s still had vaginal rejuvenation. LisaR thinks Camille needs to see how beautiful she really is; she’s a stripper at heart. They try on some lingerie costumes. Camille says LisaR has sexy down, and is helping her feel comfortable in her new body. In her interview, LisaR says the way to a man’s heart isn’t through his heart. She tells Camille she’s going to have a good time this weekend.

Kyle meets Erika for lunch. Kyle says her show proposal, Glass Houses, was bought by ABC, and she’s trilled seeing it in print. She asks Erika how Tom is doing and confuses the bar association with an actual bar. Erika asks if she’s worked things out with LVP, and Kyle says absolutely. Erika wonders how blown out of proportion it is. Other people get involved, and it gets out of hand. They wonder what they should get LVP for her birthday, and discuss getting her a flamingo.

Dorit is going over her line-sheets for the swimwear, and tells PK that she came home to a host of email. PK says he met with the swimwear team, and she has a couture range of swimwear, but he thinks it should be available to everyone. In her interview, she says he’s not a fashion designer, and doesn’t know what’s needed. For her, it’s creation and a part of her soul. He doesn’t like the name Nova he thinks it should be more general, like Beverly Beach, an imaginary place where they’d like to go and make out. Dorit didn’t expect him to turn everything upside down. She says it’s like if she changed Boy George’s tour schedule without checking with PK.

She tells PK about Kyle thinking she’d badmouthed LVP, and coming to her rescue. Dorit says she had no bad intention, and thinks they should get over it. PK wants her to make sure things are smoothed over, since LVP’s birthday is coming up.

Erika, Teddi and Kyle ride together to Camille’s charity event. Teddi hates driving. Kyle says it’s when she does most of her thinking. LVP calls, saying she’s on her way, and asks if they are too. She wonders if LisaR is coming, but she’s sick. They discuss what they’re wearing.

Camille welcomes everyone to her event. She shows the ladies her fragrance line. The profits from the new fragrance go to the women’s cancer foundation. LVP arrives, and says she loves the fragrances. They’re also in gorgeous containers Like Jay Strongwater trinket boxes. She wonders if they have something for insecure women. Dorit arrives last – no surprise. She wants to repair the relationship with LVP, and says she’ll inject LVP with so much Dorit love, she’ll explode. LVP needs space and time to make it work again. Erika asks what LVP is doing for her birthday. LVP says she’s going for a ride on her horse, having lunch with her husband, and getting ready for the party.

Dorit talks about when she was pregnant and not drinking. She would listen to other people, and wonder if she talked the same sh*t when she had a drink. Erika is like, yep. Erika asks if she and LVP have resolved things, and Dorit says they’re family. She tells Erika that she and LVP had a conversation in the park, and the next time she saw her, LVP was mad at her. She tells the group if anyone else wants to chime in, now’s the time. Teddi says she would be hurt if it was her. The way Dorit spoke about the situation would have hurt her feelings. Dorit acts ignorant, but Teddi says they’ve already discussed it multiple times. She shared the information with Kyle about how it would make her feel, and Kyle told LVP, and that’s all. She’s done talking.

Dorit doesn’t understand how Teddi can be done with something. She involved herself in the chain of events, and made it sound worse than it was. In her interview, Erika tells us that you can’t get in the fight, and then back up when sh*t hits the fan. Dorit says Kyle was made to believe she’d been bashing LVP. Erika thinks the word bashing is strong. In her interview, Erika says everything would be resolved if cards were on the table. Teddi needs to take ownership. In her interview, Teddi says it’s easy to blame other people for your sh*t, but you have to take ownership. If it bothers you, don’t say sh*t you regret.

The ladies have dinner, and Camille makes a speech. She talks about having cancer, and how it runs in her family. Her mother is in the hospital. This is for her mom, and all the women battling the disease. She thanks them for coming. LVP says it’s her pre-birthday night, and Ken wants to be romantic. Dorit walks her out, and asks to talk. They sit on a sofa, and LVP tells Dorit that she’s being overly dramatic. Dorit wants to make sure they’re in a good place. LVP says she’s a little hurt, but okay. Dorit wonders what Teddi said, but LVP says Teddi isn’t a guilty party; she wans to make that clear. Dorit says she’s been bearing the brunt of what Teddi said to Kyle. LVP says what Dorit said about her being a needy friend wasn’t exactly a compliment.

LVP has to go, but Dorit gets stupid, pinning LVP down on the sofa, and saying she loves her. LVP says straddling her does nothing, and Dorit says she wants to make sure their friendship is secure. LVP says she’s the one who’s sounding needy. Dorit says she loves LVP, and their friendship means the world to her. LVP says it’s fine, and she’s going, escaping Dorit’s grasp. Dorit repeats that she loves LVP, and LVP says, just not enough, before disappearing out the door. In her interview, Dorit hopes forcing herself on LVP makes her realize she didn’t mean to do anything to hurt her.

Teddi arrives at work, and meets with client Dani. In her interview, she swears that accountability coach isn’t a made up job. Every one of her clients is a success story. She motivates them, and makes sure they work out and eat healthy; she’s on their ass. She and Dani get into some sweat-intensifying suits, and slip into things that look like sleeping bags. Teddi asks Dani why she reached out, and Dani says she was working out, but knew she needed something different. In her interview, Teddi says accountability isn’t just her job; it’s who she is. She’s direct to a fault, but doesn’t make excuses for her actions. She thinks Dorit isn’t taking ownership. Dani asks if this counts as a workout. Teddi laughs, but says no.

Erika meets with assistant Mikey, and some game developers. Erika Jayne is digital. She’s going to be a character in the Kim Kardashian: Hollywood game. In her interview, she explains that you arrive in Hollywood with nothing – her old life when she first came. She worked at a mall and a struggled to pay rent. It wasn’t easy, especially being a single mom. She came up the hard way like Joan Crawford; it wasn’t a joke. She gets teary when she sees her character. It is really cute. The developers are excited. Erika says it’s a great marker of success, and apologizes for having an emotional moment.

Kevin Lee sets up what will probably be an amazing party at Villa Rosa. LVP asks him if it’s Vanderpump ready; she’s going to have a very scrutinizing audience. In her interview, she says some people think she’s a control freak because she plans her own birthday parties, but they’re really more for her friends; something gorgeous they can come to. O.M.G. The shrimp cocktails are massive and a work of art. LVP tells the head bartender, or whatever he is, about Dorit’s distress over the wrong glass at Teddi’s house. They settle on a green tumbler to serve her wine in. The bartender says, sorry, everything else was dirty.

Teddi says the swans aren’t digging her. Everything looks unbelievable and totally English garden. Flowers everywhere, flowing gazebo curtains, greenery hanging all over the place. Teddi sips champagne as LVP tells her about the tumbler. Dorit arrives, and Teddi is dying laughing when she comes out with the tumbler. Dorit plays along, screeching that she won’t drink rosé out of this glass. In her interview, she says, very funny, and drinks wine out of a short glass. This was pretty good, and more lighthearted than usual.

They sit in an enclosed porch for cocktails. The table is exquisite, with a silver bowl of lemons and limes. I want to cry, and wonder how I can get LVP to adopt me. Erika gives LVP a scarf. Maybe Hermes, definitely expensive. Teddi gives her a bareback pack so she can ride without a saddle. It’s saddle shaped, but like a shag rug. LVP calls Teddi her new best friend. Giggy! Teddi says Dorit had better bring her A-game. Dorit gives LVP a bracelet with an eclipse on it. LVP asks if it represents the eclipse in their relationship. In her interview, Erika says every insult is sheathed in a joke. Camille gives her a headpiece from the lingerie store. Black mesh bunny ears with a lace veil. It looks like something Lady Gaga might wear. Camille also gives Dorit a gift – a ball-gag. Giggy! Erika says she loves it, and Dorit says she doesn’t think she can use it. Since she’s either pretending not to get it, or not getting it, Camille tells her she opens her mouth too much. In her interview, Camille says she considered a muzzle, but the gag was sexier. Maybe Dorit will learn to shut up.

They sit down to eat. Kyle arrives late, coming from an event she’d previously committed to. I get impressed by the shrimp cocktails all over again. LVP says it’s been an amazing year. She calls Teddi, Teddi Bear, and Dorit doesn’t look happy. PK says she can go from Teddi Bear to Teddi Bitch in an instant, and Kyle wonders what LVP calls the rest of them. Camille tells Kyle about the ball-gag, saying it’s not offensive; not like a strap-on. Dorit can’t believe she’s still harping on that joke, and Camille asks why this isn’t a joke? In her interview, Erika says if Dorit doesn’t laugh this off, she’ll crucify her. We flash back to the beginning of Pantygate. Camille tells Dorit not to take it seriously, and PK tells Dorit to move on. I can’t believe Dorit is being such a brat and pouting.

GIGGY! LVP tells everyone that she got Giggy eight years ago today. Giggy gives her Cartier earrings to the tune of seventy-five grand. Dorit tells her to hand them over, and LVP says she might have done that two weeks ago, but now she’ll have to wait. In her interview, Kyle says she told Dorit it was only a matter of time. LVP has finally found a way of punishing Dorit. The guests toast to the birthday girl, and LVP says she’s going to PUMP later if they want to join her. Dorit says she’s not in; not today. She thinks they’ve celebrated well enough. In her interview, she says she didn’t expect to be a punching bag. She’s never seen this side of LVP. Oh, grow up. She can certainly dish it out.

Kevin brings out the cake, decorated with pink icing roses. tall pink candles, and a ballerina. In her interview, Dorit says she was poked at nonstop, and she’s done. She tells LVP it was beautiful, thanks her, gets up, and heads for the door. Camille tells her not to forget this, holding up the ball-gag. PK goes after her, and LVP follows. She asks Dorit if she’s okay, and Dorit says, great, wonderful. LVP asks if it was the ball-gag, telling her it was a joke. Dorit says it was funny, and it’s all good, but keeps walking. In her interview, LVP says she will give a dig in jest, but she was sending a message that the relationship has taken a different turn.

LVP attends a photo shoot at Bella magazine for her jewelry. She says clearly, they got it wrong last time. We flash back Dorit complaining about the pictures taken of her. Pandora says she looked amazing. LVP says she made such a big deal about not looking great, the photographer pulled shots, and it’s a shame.

This season, Edwin drives like a madman, the girls step in mud, Erika talks about being kidnapped, a trip to Berlin. LisaR in underwear, Erika does a show at a sex club, one of LVP’s pets dies (not Giggy, thank God), lots of fights, and Erika calls Teddi a crybaby.

🗽 Bethenny & Fredrick is worth watching. As with Million Dollar Listing New York, the properties are lustworthy, and their personalities larger-than-life. Tonight, Bethenny went nuts on Fredrick, spewing venom like when she called Luann a slut in the Berkshires. What it boiled down to was her not being used to partnering in this sort of business. She kept getting surprised by figures that were not included in the budget, and called Fredrick a snake oil salesman. Who says that unless they’re in an old movie? Anyway, poor Fredrick was taken aback, and got very emotional during a subsequent talk with her. He told her that he might have confused her, but never lied to her. She thanked him for understanding where her viciousness was coming from.

👃 I wanted to show you the beautiful fragrance line from Camille’s event, but when I put Camille Grammer Fragrance into Google images, I got this. You figure it out.