Tag Archives: Bravo

October 24, 2016 – GH’s Valentin has a Long Reach, the OC’s Tamra has a Big Win & I have a Film Recommend

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Sonny asks Carly to come home with him, saying they need each other now more than ever. They almost kiss and the doorbell rings. It’s Dante. He was at the crash site. Carly asks if he found any trace of Morgan. He pulls out an evidence bag.

Finn watches Hayden sleep. He tells her it’s time to wake up; it’s the afternoon. She jumps up in fighting mode.

Anna looks at Valentin’s dossier. Griff asks if she knows him. She says no, but something is familiar. She’s never met him, but she recognizes something about his face. Laura approaches, having overheard them. Anna introduces her to Griff. Charlotte comes over to the table, and Anna explains to Laura that there’s a connection between Valentin and Claudette’s mother. Laura says from her experience, Valentin will stop at nothing to get what he wants.

Claudette insists to Nathan that the room had been ransacked. Nathan picks up a bracelet. It’s Maxie’s. He asks what the hell is going on and where is Maxie?

Maxie talks to herself, saying it’s not her fault The Beard is incompetent and took her by mistake. She says this isn’t the way it’s going to end. She’s the daughter of Frisco and Felicia Jones and there’s got to be a way out.

Dante takes the jade necklace that Carly gave Morgan out of the bag. He tells Carly to keep it since they don’t need it as evidence. She tells them how she’d told him that it promotes peace and wisdom. (Well, that didn’t work.) Sonny asks if Dante has any evidence that might show Morgan is still alive. Carly asks if that’s possible, but Dante says they have nothing, although they’re continuing to canvas the area. He says they’re going to bring whoever did this to justice, and asks if Carly needs any help with the funeral. Carly wonders if there’s going to be enough time for them to get something they can actually bury.

Hayden asks what Finn is doing there. He says technically he lives there. She apologizes, saying when she wakes up in a strange room, her first instinct is to defend herself. He gives her some aspirin and says she should feel better in about a half hour. I dunno about that. She tells Finn that he’s a prince among men and I’m surprised he doesn’t make a joke about Nicholas. She says she’s a little fuzzy about last night and he shows her the check, asking if it rings any bells.

Laura tells Griff that regardless of the situation, they’ve been given the best gift anyone can receive, meaning a child. Doc arrives and she excuses herself. He tells her she looks great, but she thinks she dressed for dinner, not lunch. He says if all goes well, maybe they can have dinner next time. I was thinking if it goes well, lunch could turn into dinner. Lots of missed dialogue opportunities today.

Griff wonders why Valentin seems familiar to Anna. She says there’s something about his eyes, but since he’s been accused of just about everything, she’d remember if she had met him. She says he’s a mercenary, lethal, and smart, since up until Cassadine Island, he flew under the radar. Griff feels badly about Claudette, and blames himself for her turning to Valentin.

Nathan asks Claudette how Maxie’s bracelet ended up there, but she has no clue. She says she’s been busy introducing Charlotte to her father, and Nathan says, which one? BA-DUM-CHH! Nathan puts two and two together, and realizes that someone must have kidnapped Maxie thinking she was Claudette.

Maxie gets out of the duct tape and runs upstairs. The door is locked. She needs to pick the lock and looks for something to use. Did she turn that furnace off? That would be my first move. She finds a cell phone that has power.

Nathan calls the hotel office to get security footage. He explains that Maxie is missing and the hotel was her last known location. Dante shows up and says Maxie’s car is still in the parking lot. Maxie calls Nathan’s phone.

Doc makes up something crazy on the menu to see if Laura is listening. She tells him sorry; she heard Anna talking about Valentin and it’s distracted her.

Griff fills Anna in on what happened between him, Claudette and Nathan. He wonders how their lives would be different if he’d been supportive of her. Anna wonders why Claudette didn’t tell him that she was pregnant.

Nathan asks whose phone she’s using, but she doesn’t know. He says he’ll come and get her, but she doesn’t know where she is either. She says she’s in a basement with no windows, and the door is locked. He asks her if she noticed anything on the drive, and she says she was in the trunk of the car. Nathan tells her they’ll trace the call, but she says she doesn’t think she can wait. The Beard broke something and gas is leaking into the room. I still can’t believe the daughter of Frisco and Felicia Jones can’t figure out something to do there. There’s a lot of stuff on those shelves. She should be MacGyvering this.

Hayden tells Finn that scamming is in her blood…or not. She has to keep reminding herself she’s Jeff Webber’s daughter, not Raymond Berlin’s. She asks what Finn is going to use the money for and how many test tubes it will buy. He says he can’t accept the check.

Sonny tells Carly he was wrong and he knows it, and he’d change it if he could, but it doesn’t mean they can’t honor their son’s memory together. Carly says a burned necklace is all they have to bury, and unless he can go back in time, she can’t help him. She has nothing for him and can’t grieve with him or even look at him.

Kiki enters with what is sure to be bad timing. She’s sorry about Morgan, but also about all the times she hurt him, and every stupid argument they ever had. Most of all she hates that before Morgan died, he was in pain because of her. She wants them to know that she loved him and always will. Carly asks what she meant by causing him pain on his last night. She wants to know her son’s final moments.

Hayden is shocked Finn doesn’t want to accept the check after all she went through to get it. He says it was an impressive feat, but Evan wrote the check because he thought he slept with her. He asks what if Evan comes back for seconds, or worse, realizes she tricked him. She says men are easy to fool, and he’s probably bragging to his buddies right now. She says the last thing she expected was Finn breaking down the door and it was pretty awesome. She remembers accusing Finn of wanting to sleep with her himself.

Laura doesn’t want to think about Valentin. She says he’s in prison and Spencer is safe in school. She wants to concentrate on what really matters, their date. Doc says that works for him.

Charlotte interrupts Anna and Griff, saying she wants her mommy. Griff wonders what’s taking so long.

Nathan tries to get Maxie to remember anything about the drive – how long it was and if they drove over anything like train tracks. She says it was smooth the entire way, but recalls hearing “that annoying song.” She tells Nathan it’s a place they drive past where he always wants to get hot dogs. The phone goes dead.

Sonny asks what Carly is doing, and she says she needs to know. Kiki says Morgan thought there was something going on between her and Dillon. He thought he saw them having sex, and even though she’s never had sex with Dillon, it set him off. Carly says she saw them kiss in the park and asks if Kiki was sneaking around. Kiki admits she was going to break up with Morgan. Carly makes her say it louder. Kiki says she went to their house to do it face to face, but Morgan wasn’t home. Carly says she can’t blame herself for his death, but she can blame herself for not being there for him in his hour of need, and for doing the one thing that Carly asked her not to. I hate to point this out to Carly, but Kiki might have been there for him if he’d bothered answering his phone or was at home instead of the bar. Carly says that Kiki swore she loved Morgan and would stand by him. She insults Kiki and slaps her. She says she wants Kiki out. Sonny gathers Kiki into his arms and hugs her.

Hayden says she can’t believe she suggested that Finn wanted to sleep with her. Finn says alcohol lowers inhibitions, and he can’t count the times he’s woken up and wanted to be put out of his misery. She says go ahead and tell her he’s not interested.

Laura tells Doc that there’s only one thing they can do – schedule another date. They have to keep doing it until they get it right. Aw, I’m glad she’s trying with him again.

Griff wonders where Claudette is and says he’ll go check. Anna plays a game on her phone with Charlotte.

Maxie is passed out, but Nathan arrives in time and brings her upstairs.

Claudette is packing. Griff knocks at the door. She hides the suitcase and answers. She says she thought someone was following her, but it was a false alarm. He wants her to go back downstairs; Charlotte is wondering what happened. She says Charlotte will be fine. Griff is a wonderful father who will take good care of her. He asks if she’ going to leave her daughter and run.

Nathan tells Maxie to come around for Georgie’s sake.

Kiki says everything Carly says is true. Sonny says Carly’s pain is bigger than anything Kiki has done or could do. Kiki says she screwed up, but she loved Morgan. Sonny says she cared for him more than he cared for himself. He’s happy that Morgan experienced that kind of love.

Griff asks how Claudette can abandon her daughter? She says it’s the only way to keep her safe, and that Valentin’s reach is long, even in jail. Griff says he got Anna to help them and asks Claudette to trust him. She says okay, she will. He says let’s go and she goes to get her purse. While he’s looking elsewhere, she smacks Griff over the head with a paperweight and grabs her stuff. She says she’s sorry and take care of Charlotte. She leaves him there unconscious.

Finn says to be clear, Hayden just asked him to confirm he has no romantic interest in her. She says she can take it; she’s the type who likes the band-aid ripped off fast. He says he is interested, very interested, but it doesn’t change that the two of them pursuing a relationship is a bad idea, because he won’t be around. She says she just got him a big check, but he says it doesn’t work that way. (That’s not how any of this works!) Hayden tells him that she knows she’s taking a risk, but in case he didn’t notice, she likes taking risks. They kiss.

Sonny says Morgan wanted the best for Kiki and would want her to move on. She thanks him and leaves. Carly asks Sonny if he thinks she wasn’t being fair. He says he knows she’s grieving, but Kiki did lead Morgan on and quit on him. He adds that she’s a kid though, and it does no good to tear her down. He says they know who she’s really mad at. She says she’s mad at everyone, right down to PCU expelling Morgan without giving him a chance to explain (because the rules don’t apply to him). It changes nothing though – she won’t get to hear him laugh anymore, or get to hold her baby anymore. She says she can’t do this with Sonny, because when she looks at him, she sees the man who killed her son. She tells him to go. Dammit!

Hayden says she had Finn all wrong. He’s willing to take risks too. He says she ain’t seen nuthin’ yet. They get busy.

Griff comes to. He realizes what happened.

Anna asks Charlotte if they should check on Griff.

Nathan cancels the ambulance, but wants Maxie to be checked out. Dante goes to help find the perp. Maxie asks how Nathan found her, and he says via the hot dog place.

Griff calls the hotel office and asks for the surveillance camera to be checked . They’re being kept very busy today. Anna comes to the door, and Griff says he guesses Claudette is skipping town.

Claudette gets on a plane. The seat next to her is empty. You know what’s going to happen, right?

Doc says he’s been thinking about something that Laura said when she got the key. If she pursued it or not, it would haunt her. Laura says Helena is dead, Valentin is in jail, and no one can touch her. After all these years, apparently Laura still lives in a fool’s paradise.

Claudette hears someone singing softly. Valentin sits next to her. He says she has something she stole from him. (Hmm…could Charlotte be his?)

Tomorrow, Nina is surprised Julian is still alive, Alexis apologizes to Sonny, and Ava is concerned about being killed.

The Real Housewives of the OC

I’ve pretty much decided I don’t like anyone on this show. I don’t mind Kelly, but she needs to stay away from alcohol. She’s a big girl and shouldn’t feel pressured by the others to drink. Not that it excuses them from being the d-bags they were last week. Vicki is harmless, but I don’t know what her problem is that she sleepwalks through the drama and pretends it doesn’t exist. The both of them seem like they mean well, even if ultimately they cause a ruckus. I can’t say that about the others.

On the bus to the airport, Heather says, I’m rubber you’re glue. Actually, she declares that nothing Kelly says can hurt her, because Kelly is trash. In her interview, Meghan says she sees how Kelly has become an easy target for the women to prod and see what they can get out of her. OMG – Meghan is suddenly the wise one. She wants to stand up for Kelly, but doesn’t know exactly what happened. Shannon starts screeching at Vicki for not contributing to the conversation, if that’s what we’re calling it. Kelly feels that Vicki abandoned her and Kelly lets fly some things that Vicki told her about Shannon, one of them being that Vicki is afraid of David because he beats his wife.

Heather gets up like the schoolteacher she is, finger wagging, and says that’s enough. Shannon stars bawling and saying he does not. Apparently this is the secret that Vicki was holding onto a couple of episodes ago. Tamra jumps in, saying Vicky has said things about Eddie, and literally screams F-U in Vicki’s face, like two inches away. Tamra claims that Vicki said Eddie is gay. I don’t remember her ever saying that, but now that she mentions it…just kidding. I think. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. In her interview, Heather says Vicki shouldn’t have told Kelly anything, even though Kelly is the one that blurted it out. In her interview, Meghan says she’s disappointed in Heather, who’s deflecting her own role in the situation. I know the feeling.

Back in the OC, Shannon is unpacking. She’s upset that one of the best trips of her life was ruined on the airport bus. I feel sorry for her if that was one of the best trips of her life even before then. Tamra comes by the new house. She has to concentrate on the competition and doesn’t know if she’s ready. She told her mom about what went on during the trip. Shannon asks what her status with Vicki is. Tamra says Eddie just laughed it off, but she feels like Vicki wants to present her as being in a bad marriage. Shannon is like, ditto. She says Vicki wants to “attack their men” because of Brooks.

Vicki tells Briana that it was a great trip and they all got along well (!). I’m not sure if Vicki is on medication or has some ability to be in a different dimension. She tells Briana about Tamra thinking she said Eddie is gay, but doesn’t remember saying anything like that. In her interview, Briana says her mother is a dirty fighter. Briana tells Vicki that when other people are hurting, she only focuses on it for a minute, and then turns things back to herself. Vicki says she wants peace, and Briana says she needs to acknowledge it when she hurts someone’s feelings, but Vicki is tired of apologizing. It’s like they’re having two different conversations.

Tamra says she’s putting Vicki out of her mind. Shannon says she has nothing to say to Vicki. If she sees her, she’s leaving the room. Oooh, there’s a threat.

Kelly talks to Michael about the women provoking her on the way to the airport. She says Heather is the puppet and everyone is the master, but Willy Wonka would tell her to strike that and reverse it. She says she was pushed and repeated what Vicki told her about David beating the crap out of Shannon. Michael is like, whoa, and asks if it’s true, but Kelly says she doesn’t know and it’s none of her business. Good one. She says she stuck by Vicki when the rest of the women put her through crap, but then Vicki was silent when she needed support. Michael says maybe Kelly should take baby steps and mend things with Vicki. He says every relationship is different and she’ll have to have a different plan for each. For once, he actually makes sense. It’s like the bizarro OC.

Tamra gets her competition outfits – a bejeweled turquoise bikini, and a pink and black leather bikini bottom and crop top. She tells Mia about what happened on the trip with Kelly, leaving out a lot of her own part in it. In her interview, she says enough is enough with Vicki. Mia tells her that she has to forgive as many times as it takes. We flash back to Tamra and Vicki apologizing to one another at various times. Tamra says she wants to forgive Vicki about as much as she wants to put on the tiny clothing. Which is not at all.

Kelly meets Meghan, who is wearing an awesome faux fur vest. Meghan asks how she’s been doing since the trip. In her interview, Meghan says Kelly’s behavior wasn’t acceptable, but she’s not going to ditch her. Kelly wonders what she did, and Meghan says she wasn’t exactly tactful. Kelly asks if Meghan thinks what the others said to her was okay. Meghan says no, but the power is in Kelly’s hands to move on. She tells Kelly that she should have just ridden it out. Kelly wants to talk to Tamra first, since she’s reached out before, and is trying to be a better person. Meghan tells Kelly she’ll always be there to support her.

Kelly invites Vicki over. Vicki says she thought they had an amazing trip (sound of cuckoo clock in my head). Kelly says she felt like Vicki wasn’t the same. She’s defended Vicki, but Vicki didn’t return the favor. Vicki says she wanted to stay neutral and let Kelly to fight her own battle. How nice of her. She says if she took Kelly’s side, the other women would turn on her, but if she took their side, she was abandoning Kelly. They talk about Shannon and Tamra encouraging Kelly to drink. Vicki says she told Kelly not to drink, but we flash back and that isn’t the case at all. Quite the opposite. Kelly talks about Heather putting in her two cents and how she was the puppet master. Vicki says not with her, but Kelly isn’t buying it. Kelly says Vicki went through it, so why didn’t she say something when they ganged up on her? She says she was backed into a corner and no one was defending her. Vicki says she was mending fences and she doesn’t want to be excluded or have Kelly excluded. In her interview, Vicki admits she was wrong. She apologizes to Kelly and says she was just recovering from her own hell. In her interview, Kelly says she doesn’t like what Vicki did, but she understands her position.

Vicki calls Tamra. Tamra remarks that the trip ended badly. Vicki thinks alcohol fueled a lot of it, and that Shannon was out of line. Tamra says Shannon was hurt, and Vicki says they all were. Ugh! It’s one of those “we were all drinking” excuses. Vicki asks if it’s okay if she comes to Tamra’s competition and the eating party afterward. In her interview, Tamra says she knows the Christian thing is to forgive, and decides Vicki can come.

Tamra meets Kelly for lunch. A lettuce leaf and a glass of water. In her interview, Tamra wants to move on with Kelly, but needs to know where her heart is. They talk about the competition and Tamra’s preparation. Kelly tells Tamra that she was 100% wrong. Tamra says when Kelly talked about her daughter, it put her in a bad place. Kelly says she didn’t want to hurt Tamra and apologizes. Tamra says she’s disappointed in herself, and had she not been drinking, she wouldn’t have pushed Kelly. They talk about forgiveness. The food comes, looking surprisingly more substantial than a lettuce leaf. Kelly tells Tamra that Vicki really loves her. Tamra says she’s over it. Kelly wonders why Shannon is so upset, and Tamra says Shannon once confided in Vicki, and Vicki needs to keep her mouth shut. Kelly talks about Shannon pressing the alcohol on her, but Tamra thinks she should apologize for repeating what Vicki said. Kelly is torn about Shannon, but says she’s tired of Heather being the puppetmaster and everyone seeming scared of her. Tamra tells Kelly they’re all going to be at the competition and she doesn’t want any drama. Kelly says she doesn’t want to screw anything up for Tamra. She tells Tamra to remember that if you’re not first, you’re last, which is what she tells her daughter. No wonder Kelly is messed up. That’s terrible to say, but she probably heard it herself growing up.

Tamra calls Shannon. She says Vicki called her and wants to go to the competition. She says Vicki told her that alcohol was the only thing that messed up the trip. Shannon says that Vicki needs to stop concocting stories. Even though I don’t think that was the whole problem, alcohol certainly contributed. Tamra says Vicki thinks they’re all hurt, but offered no apologies. She tells Shannon they should confront Vicki at the party. Shannon is down with that. Tamra moves on to telling her about lunch with Kelly. Shannon says if Tamra is working past it and wants Kelly at the party, no problem, but she’s not going to hang out with her.

Tamra reads her good luck texts on the way to the competition. She’s in the bikini division. Mia tells her to ask Jesus for strength and that she’s there to inspire other women. We flash back to the accident and Tamra’s recovery. Tamra says she’s worked so hard, she can’t let anything get in her way. She gets a final spray tan before the event starts. The girls arrive and it’s stupid how they’re all saying hello to Briana, but pretty much ignoring Vicki and Kelly. In her interview, Shannon says she’s keeping it to herself (whatever it is) because it’s Tamra’s night.

Tamra looks amazing. Eddie takes pictures and David’s eyes bug out of his head. We see a few of the other contestants. Shannon says since she’s met Tamra, she’s done a complete transformation. The other girls praise her, but my ears are still ringing from her hollering on the bus. Tamra should apologize to me. It’s down to Tamra and another girl. Tamra prays. We go to a commercial.

Tamra wins! She gets her trophy, and Eddie comes up on stage and hugs her. In her interview, Tamra says with all the things she can’t control in her life, she wanted to do something for herself. Everyone congratulates her and they take pictures. Tamra just wants a hamburger and some pizza. Vicki and Kelly come up for pictures, and Shannon walks away. Kelly says Shannon is ignoring her and Heather is icing her out.

Next time, the finale – Shannon has a party, a pile of donuts falls to the ground and Tamra eats them anyway (I made up the Tamra part), Meghan tries to talk to Heather, and Shannon confronts Vicki.

🎭 Recommended: Hamilton’s America in rotation on PBS. This is like seeing two documentaries in one. Lin-Manuel Miranda captured his musical’s journey from start to Tony Awards, and this is interspersed with historical discussion. There are interviews with everyone from historians to Hamilton cast members. And there are enough scenes from the play, that you won’t even need to see it. This is definitely worth a look, or two, or three. Fastest 82 minutes ever.

October 18, 2016 – GH’s Franco Nails Heather & Below Deck’s Kyle Hopes to Nail Sierra

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Nathan prepares a candlelight dinner to make things up to Maxie. He wants them to have some alone time. He says it will be a while until dinner is ready, so they start to get busy. There’s a knock at the door. It’s Claudette, who apparently has radar. She says she knows they’re in there because she can smell dinner. Huh? How does she know they don’t have a crockpot? She’s brought Charlotte. She asks if she’s interrupting dinner…or something. She’s so annoying, I can’t stand it.

Anna is at the gym using a punching bag. Griff asks if she wants to talk. She says she thought it was over, that she could figure out a way to handle Julian’s release. She says innocent people are dying because of him, and because she didn’t’ do enough to keep him off the streets.

Tracy tells Finn about Lucy saying she should buy the hospital. She says if she had that kind of money, she wouldn’t be dealing with a board. He starts to cough, and she asks how he’s doing. Hayden pops in and seconds that.

Franco tells Elizabeth he thinks he has a way for GH to reopen. Elizabeth asks Franco to meet her at Kelly’s later.

Anna says Morgan is collateral damage in a hit intended for Julian. Sonny was out for blood and is responsible for the death of his own son, and she’s responsible too. She didn’t make anyone aware of what she suspected, and Morgan’s death is on her hands. Griff says no, but she tells him he can’t possibly know what she’s feeling right now.

Claudette tells Nathan that she was at the park and thought of something. She’s sorry for slowing down the process of Nathan and Maxie getting to know Charlotte. She asks if they’d like to look after her.

Finn asks to talk to Hayden alone. Tracy takes her martini to the terrace. Hayden asks what happened to Finn’s research breakthrough, and he says it was a bust. He ran a trial on himself and it didn’t work. She asks if he’s doing it in his hotel room and tells him he’s going to end up killing himself.

Claudette doesn’t want to drag Charlotte around to her meetings and interviews, so she thought Nathan and “his little friend” could spend some time with her. They’re hesitant, but agree. Claudette leaves and the smoke alarm goes off. Nathan runs to the kitchen.

Anna says every corner she comes to, she faces a mistake she’s made. Griff says there’s plenty of blame to dole out, but he hates hearing her say that it’s her burden. She says she owns her responsibility. Robert calls and she asks if Griff wants to have dinner later, but he begs off. She says they’ll talk tomorrow. She leaves and Griff punches the bag.

Finn says running clinical trials on himself is his only shot. Hayden says he looks tired and weak. He says he’s fine. Tracy cut him slack at GH, but he’s not going to find anywhere else where he’ll get the same treatment. Evan, the guy who sent Hayden the champagne, enters the restaurant, and Hayden introduces them. Evan is obviously a poser, and she tells him to get a table. Finn tells Hayden that Evan seems like a real winner. She tells him be careful with himself and joins Evan.

Elizabeth sees Laura and asks how Spencer is. Laura says he’s adjusting well being away from her, but she wishes she could do the same. Elizabeth asks about Dante and Lulu. Laura says they’re doing as well as they can. She tells Elizabeth that she’s made a decision. She’s going to sell Wyndemere.

Franco visits Heather. She wants to know what he’s been creating since GH shut down. He says he’s been distracted. She wants to know if he’s still hung up on Elizabeth. He says he is, but she’s thinking of moving to Rochester. Heather asks why, when Port Charles is so exciting? Ha-ha! Although it’s more exciting than where I live. He tells Heather that Elizabeth needs work since the hospital shut down. Heather says they caught the killer and put the nutjob away. He tells her not the one who attacked Bobbie and Lucas, and she says it’s a major bummer. He tells her that the police have no idea, but she does. She says she only knows what she reads in the papers. He says he has no idea how she did it, but he knows it was her.

Heather tells Franco besides his good looks, she knows they’re related because of their imaginations. He reminds her that she told him she’d done something to protect him when he was a suspect. She says all right, he got her. She injected Bobbie and Lucas, but they lived. She says she knew he’d be at the Nurses Ball and would have an alibi. He says it’s unbelievable. She says what’s unbelievable was Lucas forgetting his keys and coming back in; who does that? Franco says Lucas saved his mother’s life, and Heather says that it messed up hers. Franco knows that she did it out of maternal concern, but he needs her to do one more thing to prove that she loves him.

Elizabeth says she’s supportive of Laura selling. Laura says there’s very little cash on hand and Elizabeth says she’s sorry Laura feels pressured. Laura says if she sold just one property, she could preserve the rest of the Cassadine estate, and that’s what Nicholas would want. She says there’s also no way she’s living in the same house with a woman she can’t stand.

Evan talks…and talks…and talks. Tracy says she’s glad Finn hashed out his personal life. He says it was nothing personal. Tracy says she knows sparks when she sees them – and there are sparks. Finn calls Evan a tool, but not just because Hayden is on a date with him. Evan talks some more. He tells Hayden he looks over grant proposals and peaks her interest. They’re medical research grants.

Anna talks on her cell phone at the bar. Andre comes in. She tells him that Robert is exasperating. Andre says he thought they were the best of exes, and Anna says they are, when they’re not yelling at each other. Robert wants her to go back to work at the WSB.

Claudette goes to the gym and says she thought she’d find Griff there. She says it’s like Hell’s Kitchen all over again and goes down Memory Lane. He asks what she wants. She says she wants him. She’s figured out a way for them to be together.

Nathan, Maxie and Charlotte have pizza. There’s a knock at the door. It’s a delivery for Maxie – the DNA test results.

Heather says she’d do anything to prove how much she loves Franco. He says confess, and she tells him anything but that. He talks about GH staying shut and gives all the reasons why it should reopen. Heather says the only reason he wants it open is to date Elizabeth, and she’s upset at him choosing Elizabeth over her. If she confesses, she’s ll lose her privileges and there will be no more sneaking around. He says she gives him no choice and leaves with her calling after him not to go.

Laura tells Elizabeth sorry for leaving her sister with no place to live. Elizabeth says there’s no sibling relationship, and if Hayden ends up on the street, she’ll figure it out like she always does. She’s never met anyone so selfish.

Hayden tells Evan that she has a friend who is in dire need of a grant, and asks if he could expedite one. He says absolutely. She doesn’t know how to thank him and he says sure she does. Ugh! Double tool.

Tracy asks where Hayden met her tool, but Finn doesn’t want to talk about it, and suggests they talk about the hospital. Tracy says they’re not going to reopen unless whoever attacked Bobbie and Lucas is caught, and every day they’re closed, they’re hemorrhaging money. She tells Finn she knows he needs a place for his research, but all is not lost.

Anna says she’s not really entertaining the job offer, but she wanted to hear Robert out. He wants her to train new agents. Andre says that’s up her alley, but she says it’s in Geneva. She’d have to leave Port Charles. He asks if she’s going to take it.

Griff tells Claudette not to reminisce; there was never anything between them except lies. She says everything is out in the open now, and they can start over. He says he’s a priest, but she says his Holy Orders should be just a memory at this point. She tells him about leaving Charlotte at Nathan’s and has no reason to think it won’t work out. He asks if she plans on leaving Charlotte there permanently.

Maxie talks about the wedding, and Nathan asks if she’s okay. She say yes. He tells Charlotte not to touch stuff on Maxie’s desk, and picks up the test result envelope. He asks if she did this without asking him. Well that’s a stupid question.

Laura says it’s good to see Elizabeth out and about. Elizabeth says she dropped off some treats for Franco and he asked her to go to dinner. She thanks Laura for not jumping all over it. Laura says she knows what it’s like to fall for someone with a dark side. Elizabeth says people think she’s crazy, and Laura says her too. Laura tells her that if she feels the good outweighs the bad, then more power to her. Elizabeth hopes that the people closest to her see what she sees one day, or at least accept that she’s happy. Laura asks if she’s falling in love with him. Franco stands around the corner, listening.

Hayden asks Evan if he’s for real. He says he could say the same about her. She calls him disgusting and he says no more than she is. The date was going nowhere until he said he gave away money. She ends up throwing her martini in his face. She tells him that the next time a woman shows interest in his work, not to assume she’ll exchange sex for a favor.

Finn has a coughing jag.

Anna says her first impulse was to say no., but the long answer is more complicated. She says every time she turns a corner in Port Charles, she thinks about how she compromised herself, and doesn’t think that she has a purpose there. Andre says what about door number three? The Anna he knows would come up with another option.

Claudette tells Griff that Nathan can take care of Charlotte better than she can. She says he already loves her, and Charlotte is safer without Claudette drawing attention to her. She’s made mistake after mistake. Nathan is good person and Maxie is annoying, but a good mother. Claudette says the only time she was good was when she was with Griff. Don’t do it, Griff.

Nathan asks how Maxie could do this. She says the longer it drags out, the longer Claudette will manipulate everyone. She’s using Charlotte as a tool – a different kind than Evan. Nathan says she ran the test without his consent and knowledge, and throws it into the trash. He says when he runs one, it will be the right way. Maxie says she’s not letting it go, and opens the envelope, saying that he’ll thank her one day.

Anna tells Robert she’ll rejoin the bureau, but she has something in mind other than the teaching position.

Tracy tells Finn that he’s scaring her, but he says he’s fine.

Hayden tells Evan she’ll go along with it. He asks why he should after what she did. She tells him to take her someplace private and she’ll explain.

Laura asks if Elizabeth is in love with Franco, but they’re interrupted by a phone call. Laura has to go. Franco pretends to suddenly be walking by, and tells Elizabeth he thinks he has what he needs to get the hospital reopened. He shows her his phone. It has a recording on it.

Nathan is not Charlotte’s father.

Claudette says Griff makes her a good person. He says he can’t save her soul and isn’t sure he can save anyone. She says to let her save his then.

Tomorrow, Claudette asks Griff to run away with her, Hayden goes to Evan’s room, Ava says something will remain a mystery.

Below Deck

The crew is relaxing poolside at the resort. In his interview, Ben says that he’s getting older and should probably start taking relationships more seriously. he thinks it’s time to meet someone he can see himself with.

In her interview, Kate says that absence has made the heart grow fonder with her and Ro. Lauren is bummed because everyone is coupling up and she gets a friend in Nico. Emily talks to Sierra about Kelley being hot, but not her type, so it’s awkward. Kelley thinks she believes he’s a musclehead and Kyle tells him she’s very posh because of where she’s from. Emily questions Ben on how he feels about Kate dating a woman because she wouldn’t want to see someone she dated with some dude. Ben says he takes it as a compliment. Ha-ha!

Lots of PDA with Kate and Ro back on the boat.In her interview, Kate talks about how in the first few months of a relationship, you can’t get enough. Truth!

Captain Lee wants to make Kelley more proactive. He says he can’t just sit in the crew mess waiting for the captain to tell him what to do. He’s not impressed with someone who just does what they’re supposed to do; he’s impressed with someone who goes beyond. He tells Kelley that a good idea would be to find out what the guests want and stay a step ahead of them.

Ben tells Emily that Kate and Ro are a noisy couple. It’s time for Ro to leave and she compliments the dishes Ben has lined up and hugs him. In his interview, he says meeting Ro was odd, but he’s happy if Kate’s happy. Really. Lots of good-by kisses. Kate isn’t going to see Ro until the season is over and she calls it a “midpoint check-in.”

The dreaded slide is here. Nobody likes them. They’re big and cumbersome and hard to set up. Every crew curses the slide. Even Captain Lee curses it. He wants them to unfold it on the dock since there’s more room. The captain gives them instructions, and Kelley feels micromanaged.

Sierra talks to Kyle about how he got into yachting. In his interview, he says he falls in love quickly. He tells her about how much he loves fishing and food. She thinks he’s entertaining even if she can’t understand a word he’s saying.

Kate thinks Emily and Ben could be cute together. Kyle is going to MoneyGram and asks Sierra if she wants to come. He needs to send money back home for his daughter. He doesn’t have a relationship with the mother who he’d gotten pregnant on their first date. He says he’ll make sure she’ll never have to work again though. Wow. He doesn’t want to tell Sierra how old his baby momma is, because people think she’s too young for him.

The primary guests are Steve and Rachel, and they’re bringing along several other people. Kate thinks it looks like their photo is from Dancing with the Stars.Steve is in finance and intends to propose to his girlfriend the first night because it’s Valentine’s Day. Ben suggests doing it on the second night in case she says no. Captain Lee says it’s not his call, although they should have a contingency plan. Kate suggests lifeboats. She asks how the captain proposed and he blows the question off.

It’s Valentine’s Day and Kelley hints around to Emily, but she’s not receptive . The captain is disgusted that the crew left their garbage from last night’s dinner on the table. Emily tells Kate that no one has ever given her flowers. Kate tells Ben maybe he should get her some, and gives him suggestions. In her interview, Kate says Emily is perfect for Ben, especially with her English upbringing. The captain calls the crew to clean up their mess in the mess.

The flowers are delivered. They’re beautiful, a blue rose bouquet with one red one, but Ben is getting cold feet. The guests arrive and Ben runs with the flowers to put them on Emily’s bunk. The captain is annoyed that Ben isn’t on deck to greet the guests. He flies in at the last second.

The ladies all get small bouquets along with their champagne. Kate does the usual tour. Emily sees the display on her bunk. She’s very impressed. In her interview, she says it touched her heart and she can’t stop smiling.

Steve talks to Kate about his proposal. Sierra hugs Ben and thanks him. Kate acts surprised. Emily says she’ll be smiling all day, and Ben says that’s what he wanted. In her interview, Emily says a small gesture like that can change the way you feel about someone. Kate gets the ring from Steve’s luggage so she give it to one of the other guests to hold. She tries it on in the galley. It’s okay. It’s big, that’s for sure. Emily tells Sierra about Ben giving her flowers and they get giggly.

The tuna dish Ben makes is to die for. The guests say it tastes good too. Like I doubted that. The deckhands set up all the toys because Kelley is being proactive and thinks the guests will want them – without asking them. Lauren asks the guests if they want to get in the water while the other deckhands do pull-ups on the deck. The guests have decided on snorkeling.

Ben discusses the dinner with Emily. He’s thinking about a red velvet cake. The captain hears the deckhands messing with the pool. They have to pull it in for the guests to go snorkeling. Apparently, Kelley’s proactiveness went to far. Nico says Kelley’s hat is on backwards so that means he’s serious. The captain wonders how they can turn something so simple into a difficulty. He comes down to the deck and Kelley feels micromanaged again. Captain Lee says they don’t look like seasoned professionals and says Kelley needs more lessons in line handling. Finally, the guests get on the small boat to head out.

Sierra tells Emily that Kyle has a daughter. She says she’s not saying it puts her off, but it’s a lot of pressure. The guests snorkel and it’s amazingly beautiful under the water. Kelley says worst. day. ever. and wonders why everything backfires on him. Nico is annoyed that Kelley gets to go on a snorkeling trip while they get stuck finishing the pool job.

Emily chats with Kelley. In her interview, she doesn’t want to hurt him and says it’s a little awkward. Ben has never cooked a proposal dinner and it’s nerve wracking. He says imagine if she said no because he overcooked her steak, and I laugh. Kate says love is everywhere. Emily talks to Sierra about Kyle. She just wants to hang out and get to know each other.

Kate tells Ben he’s been affected by the love bug and he tells her to cut it out. The entree is filet mignon with some kind of corn thing and looks phenomenal. By the time dessert happens, Steve looks like he’s going to pass out. Kate says she’s scared, since this could go really good or really bad. Steve gets up and talks about how it’s been the best day of his life and how fortunate he is. He says he wants to keep the good times going and asks Rachel to marry him. He seems like a really nice guy and obviously loves her. She says yes and everyone cries. Kate says this day in their lives is gong to be talked about for a long time.

Sierra is going fishing with Kyle. She thought maybe Kelly and Emily would like to come along. The other deckhands listen at the door. Kyle is annoyed that Sierra wants to invite everyone since he thought of it as a date. Nico is annoyed that he and Lauren will have to work while the others go fishing.

There are rose petals in the shape of a heart on the bed in Steve and Rachel’s cabin. They profess their love for one another. Sierra thinks Kyle might be expecting too much. She tells him she’s sorry and she thought the more the merrier. Nico thinks they should do it on their own time and gripes to Lauren.

Kate asks Ben what his dwarf mood is, and he tells her it’s Bashful. He says he feels like a young schoolgirl. What? Kate thinks it’s romantic and he should use that line on Emily. No, don’t. In his interview, Ben says it’s been many years since he asked an English rose out, if ever. Kate keeps making suggestions and he says while he appreciates it, he wants to just digest the idea.

Ben digests enough and talks to Kate on the deck. She’s convinced that Emily will say yes to the date, but Ben is doubtful. She gives him a pep talk. In her interview, she says she’s never seen Ben this way around any girl. Ben goes to the galley and asks Emily if she’d like to go to dinner. She says that would be lovely. Kelley and Kate listen in. Ben tells Kate the good news. She thinks it’s cute that he’s nervous and proud.

Nest time, Kate tells Sierra to give peace Kyle a chance, Ben and Emily go to dinner, and Kelley gets angry with Sierra.

October 17, 2016 – GH is a Mob Cesspool & on the OC Mean Girls Rule

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Julian thought Sonny would meet him with guns drawn, but Sonny says he’s never afraid to meet an enemy face to face. He asks if Julian is there to kill him.

Franco talks to himself about Elizabeth getting better and not needing him so much, while he does sketches of feet. There’s a knock at the door. Surprise! It’s Elizabeth.

Tracy confronts Lucy, telling her that GH is on the chopping block and she’s the executioner.

Curtis meets with TJ. He says he’s sorry about Morgan, but he knows TJ was one of the last ones to see him alive. TJ says he was worried about Morgan, but not scared. Curtis asks what he saw exactly.

Carly looks at a little ceramic turtle and cries. The doorbell rings. She says it’s not a good time, but it’s Jason. She lets him in and hugs him.

Tracy wants to know what Alan or her father would say about Lucy selling off GH to the highest bidder. Lucy says it’s the Quartermaines’ fault in the first place, due to Tracy’s deranged ex-husband.

Elizabeth brings Franco some Rice Krispy treats. He says he has no excuse for not tidying up his place, but lacks motivation. She looks through his drawings and finds one of her.

TJ says Morgan drinking was a warning sign. Curtis tells him that he did everything he could and got punched for it, but TJ thinks he should have been more aggressive. Curtis says he had no way of knowing what could happen, and no one could ask more of him than what he did. TJ says it’s not enough that Morgan lost his life, but on top of it, everything he was going to do will never happen. He adds that Sonny might have planted the bomb.Curtis asks if there’s an official investigation.

Carly tells Jason that she couldn’t even take her suitcase upstairs. She doesn’t know how to do this or get Josslyn through it. He asks if Josslyn knows about Sonny, and Carly says Kristina told her. He asks why she’s there, and she says where is she supposed to be? He tells her at home. She and Sonny lost their son and need each other.

Julian tells Sonny that he came to offer his condolences and Sonny laughs. Julian says just because they’re enemies doesn’t mean they can’t behave like human beings. He says he knows Sonny still holds grudge about Morgan working for him. Sonny says the only thing he wants to hear about is why Julian is there. Julian says the bomb that killed Morgan was meant to kill him.

Franco tells Elizabeth that he distracted himself by drawing when he stayed with her at the hospital. She tells him how appreciative she is that he stayed by her bedside and thanks him for making her look good in the drawing. He encourages her to paint again. She says her masterpiece will have to wait since her bank account says go back to work.

Tracy says Paul tried to kill her and Monica too. Lucy says she’s sorry, and of course Tracy isn’t responsible. Tracy wants to reopen the hospital instead of selling it. Lucy suggests she buy it.

TJ thinks Curtis should talk to Jordan. Curtis asks if he saw anything out of the ordinary that night. TJ wonders why he’s asking, and he says he’s just curious. TJ isn’t fooled and knows he must be doing a private investigation, but Curtis says he can’t talk about that.

Carly calls Nell to keep an eye on Avery. Nell overhears Sonny and Julian. Sonny tells Julian to take his best shot about planting the bomb. Julian says the business has already spilled enough blood on both sides, and they need to end the cycle. Sonny asks why he should care what Julian wants. Julian says it works to their mutual advantage. He’s not going to retaliate and neither is Sonny.

Jason tells Carly there’s a simple solution – go home. She says every time she looks at Sonny she thinks about how she won’t see Morgan again. Jason says he called off the hit. She says it doesn’t matter; he ordered it in the first place. Jason says no matter how it happened, Sonny lost his child too, and they need each other. She says all she needs is him. He tells her that he wishes he was enough, but he’s not. He wishes he could make everything all right, but he can’t and Sonny can.

Franco asks if GH is officially open. Elizabeth says she misses being there as a nurse, but she hasn’t heard anything and she needs a paycheck yesterday. The other hospitals in the area are staffed up, so she needs to widen her search. She talks about going to Rochester.

Lucy says Tracy could help future generations the way the hospital has helped her family. She tells Tracy to put her money where her mouth is and save it herself.

Curtis asks how TJ would know who he’s working for. TJ says he’s following the logic. He figures it’s either Julian or Sonny, but Curtis isn’t going to say. TJ is happy that Curtis is out there digging, because he wants to know too.

Sonny says Julian has been gunning for him since he got to Port Charles. He goes through what Julian has done since his arrival, and says he has nerve saying what he did, since he caused it. Julian says if Sonny comes after him, he’s coming after Carly, and who is Sonny willing to sacrifice? Is he willing to lose more children or his wife?

Carly says part of her wants to make Sonny feel better and let sonny do the same for her, but it won’t change anything. Morgan will still be dead. Jason asks if she’s willing to lose the father of her kids. She says Sonny killed her son. Jason says something about Sonny keeping his kids safe, and she says he didn’t keep Morgan safe.

Elizabeth tells Franco that she has no idea if and when the hospital will open again, and she needs an income. He asks if he can take her to lunch.

Carly tells Jason that she thought this time would be different. She says she thought Sonny would control the violence, but she was naive. She wonders why Morgan got in the car. She says Sonny never lied about who he is; she’s lied to herself. She says she’s a mother and her first instinct should be to protect her children, but she married a man who brought violence with him. She even didn’t listen when Michael spent a year in a coma, and she’s never going to forgive herself.

TJ says there’s a reason people think Sonny is responsible, but for a father to kill his own son…he trails off. Curtis says if anything good can come of it, it’s to appreciate what we have. He’s glad TJ is back in his life. They agree on getting together to take in a game. TJ leaves.

Tracy says she has to get back to ELQ. She says business has no respect for grief, and they didn’t fight to get the company back for it to flounder. Lucy says GH has to open soon or die. Tracy says two of the attacks remain unsolved, so they can’t reopen just yet.

Julian says he’s not there for retaliation; he’s asking that they lay down their arms. He tells Sonny to honor Morgan by stopping the war. Sonny asks how can Julian can talk about honor after what he’s done and says it’s offensive to him. Julian in his house, breathing his air is offensive, and the fact that his beautiful boy is dead is a violation of everything right and just. He tells Julian that if he doesn’t get out, He might balance out the scales right now and end Julian’s miserable life, because he can. Julian leaves and Sonny throws the fruit basket at the wall. Nell asks if he’s okay.

Elizabeth asks Tracy about the unsolved murders. She says Paul has an alibi for Bobbie and Lucas. There are no other suspects, so it’s not safe enough for GH to reopen. Tracy excuses herself to commune with her martinis. Elizabeth tells Franco that maybe she should talk to Patrick and Robin and check out what Berkeley has to offer. Franco says he has another solution that might keep her local.

Sonny apologizes. He forgot Nell was there. He tells her to go home and says he’s not good company right now. She thinks she should stay for Avery and he thanks her. She tells him to get some rest. He tells her he will and says he’s glad she’s there.

Carly tells Jason to go home to his own family, but he doesn’t want her to be alone. She says she wants to be a better mother to Josslyn than she was to Morgan. Jason says she’s a great mom and Morgan knew it. She asks why he’s dead then. Jason tells her because something completely unexpected and terrible happened. She says Sonny put a bomb in a car that killed her son. Jason says he called it off. Carly says not in time and he tells her that he’s going to investigate what happened. She says it won’t bring him back, but Jason says maybe if he finds out why it happened, it will give them closure.

Julian checks on Curtis’s progress. Curtis is like, you just hired me five minutes ago. He says he’s working on it. Julian says he wants assurances. Curits tells him that he’s starting with TJ. Julian says as long as he has the truth, he can take sonny down. He says he just saw Sonny and he’s a wreck. Curtis says wouldn’t Julian be? Julian says Sonny’s guard is down, and now the perfect time to investigate. Curtis says unless he’s too far gone and just comes gunning for him. Julian isn’t interested in taking a chance in killing Sonny, but wants to focus on rebuilding his life with Alexis and the kids, and making sure Sonny goes to prison.

Sonny goes to his empty bedroom with a decanter of booze. He looks at a picture of him with Carly. Nell knocks at the door, bringing him tea. She says she’s all set to read Avery her bedtime story. Sonny says Morgan used to read her stories and act out the parts, and she loved it. Nell says she’ll do her best. She tells him the tea is chamomile and supposed to be calming. He asks her to shut the door on her way out. He looks at family photos next to the bed.

Carly says Jason’s heart is in the right place, but she doesn’t care about any of it. In the morning she’s going to wake up, and for a few seconds forget that Morgan is dead. Then it will hit her that her baby is gone and her husband is responsible, and there’s no closure. Jason says he tried to save Morgan. He got him to trust him enough to pull over. He felt relieved that Morgan was suddenly not manic, but calm. It should have been okay, but he got out of the car and Jason should have been able to save him. Carly tells him how happy he was that she named Morgan after him. Jason named Michael after Sonny, so she thought it was perfect to name Morgan after him. He says he’s sorry. She shows him the turtle and says all she has left is a memory. She kissed it and a single tear falls.

Lucy tells Tracy she should consider her idea. Tracy says she had no idea Lucy was a jungle animal, stalking prey. Lucy reminds her of how she stole Alan from Monica. She says it wouldn’t be GH, but GH Quartermaine. Tracy drains her martini and gets up.

Franco tells Elizabeth that he might know someone who knows something about what really happened. Heather?

Tomorrow, Anna argues with Griff, Laura wants to sell Windemere, and Franco accuses Heather of the murders.

The Real Housewives of the OC

I thought it was a bad dream, but we’re still in Dublin. Oddly enough, the best thing about this trip is Meghan looking up her ancestors.

Vicki rings Heather, telling her she’s still in bed. She and Shannon stayed out late drinking. In her interview, Vicki says they reconnected and are on the cusp of being friends again. Heather tells her they’re going to a farm today. Vicki says “wonderful,” but I laugh because it doesn’t sound like she really thinks so.

Kelly and Meghan get room service. Kelly has an emotional hangover. Meghan tells her about what the geneologist said and how she can go to a certain town and will probably be related to everyone. Meghan has arranged for the girls to go to the farm that makes the cream for Bailey’s, but she’s going to the town today and Kelly is going to join her. She’ll have company and keep Tamra from killing Kelly.

Everyone else meets in the lobby. Tamra says they can sleep on the bus. Shannon explains about Kelly and Meghan going to find the O’Tooles. Vicki is moving pretty slow and manages to get her arm caught on the back door of the bus while putting her bag in.

Meghan and Kelly take a taxi to Greystones where Meghan’s ancestors are from. In her interview, Meghan says she can give the gift of her heritage to her baby, so she’s more interested in it than ever. An Irish pug sighting! Meghan stops several people, looking for relatives, but finds no one except people who aren’t from there. She says it’s harder than she thought. Pretty much everything is harder than Meghan thought.

Meanwhile, the rest of the girls get to the farm. Joe, the owner, says he heard they’ve come to help, and it’s time to milk the cows. Tamra asks if they don’t have machines that do that, and they do, but he still wants them to help. Vicki nearly steps in a cow-pie. I’m guessing there are a lot of those at the farm. Joe claims it’s a landmine. In her interview, Tamra says Vicki’s life story is stepping in sh*t.

The ladies put on boots and those one-piece Hazmat suits. Joe leads them to where the action takes place. Vicki says she doesn’t drink milk because it comes out of an animal. Since when is she a vegetarian or vegan or whatever? Heather asks if the cows ever poop while they’re being milked, and Joe says that’s why they’re wearing the suits.

Aww! Here come the cows. They get into position. Fancy Pants volunteers to go first. After leeches, this should be a breeze. She plugs the cow in. Vicki is next, but she’s obviously freaked and refuses to do it. A cow takes a weewee and the girls run. How did any of them have babies?

In Greystones, Meghan finally finds someone from the town. The woman’s mother was an O’Toole, but she has no information. Meghan shows her a picture of her mother and they do look a lot alike. Meghan is excited to meet a cousin, even though she doesn’t know for sure. Mission accomplished. They head to the farm.

Heather suggests they just have a peaceful dinner. Tamra says if anyone can test the limits of her faith, it’s Kelly. Well, you failed the last test, so we’ll see how this one goes. Kelly feels pretty uncomfortable. Meghan has suggested she just apologize and be done with it. She tells everyone about meeting Francis O’Toole. Vicki thinks that beats getting peed on. Joe comes out to tell them there’s a barbecue going.

A lovely table is set in a pretty barn. Joe claims they have the chef that makes the best steak in the world. Heather calls Terry and Vicki flashes him, telling him that her nipple is too high and asking if he can fix that. Geez, they’re not even drunk. Kelly is still uncomfortable and feels excluded.

There’s an aerial shot of the farm and it’s absolutely beautiful. Tamra says she got close to the cows and now she feels like she’s eating someone’s brother. I can understand that. I used to order seafood in a restaurant that had fish tanks for walls and felt weird. Kelly tells Tamra she owes her an apology. She says Tamra is a wonderful mother and she never meant to intentionally hurt her. In her interview, Heather says there’s a pattern of behaving badly, apologizing, and then saying she’s not like that. Kelly says she’s trying to be a better person. Heather brings up that she said it again in the car. Nothing like stirring it a little. Kelly says she’s being sincere and doesn’t want any bad feelings harbored. In her interview, Vicki says she understands, but doesn’t know how much to stick her nose in it.

Joe invites the ladies to come for an Irish cream tasting. Kelly apologizes to Tamra again, but Tamra doesn’t want to talk about it. In her interview, Tamra says as a Christian she’s supposed to forgive, but this particular situation is too painful, sensitive and new. Um, I don’t think you’re supposed to pick and choose.

Meghan goes to Tamra’s room. Tamra tells her Heather wants to go bike riding, but she still wants to kill Kelly and needs to stay away from her. She says Kelly is pushing her Christianity. Meghan invites her to go with her to Powerscourt estate and they decide to meet downstairs.

The other girls meet in the lobby. Heather doesn’t want to let the pub crawl color anything, so instead of animosity, she’s just ignoring it. They get picnic baskets from the hotel. Heather says after three days of drinking, riding a bike is tough. Vicki is having a difficult time of it, hitting a curb almost immediately.

Meghan and Tamra take the estate tour. Meghan learns some more about her ancestor who executed people there. She says she can feel that it’s haunted. Okay.

The rest go to Powerscourt Gardens on their bikes. It’s gorgeous and a picnic blanket has been laid out for them. No surprise, Heather pops some champagne. Kelly says no thanks because she wants to give it a rest. Heather has a flask of Fireball and encourages Kelly to drink. Why? Heather feels like she hasn’t seen Meghan the entire trip. She calls and tells Meghan where they are, and suggests she and Tamra join them, but Meghan says they’ll meet later at the hotel. Tamra says she doesn’t really want to see Kelly and is hesitant about dinner.

Vicki is the first to arrive for dinner and Kelly follows. Another beautiful table is set outside. In her room, Tamra calls Sarah. Granddaughter Ava has started walking. Heather and Shannon show up with champagne. Heather gossips about Kelly wearing a low-cut blouse to play croquet.

Kelly talks to Vicki, saying it’s the worst trip of her life. In her interview, she says she feels like Vicki has abandoned her. The other ladies arrive. Everyone is wearing black except for Kelly, who is wearing white. Meghan isn’t feeling well, so she’s opted out of dinner. Kelly doesn’t want to drink because she’s tired. Shannon insists tequila is an “upper,” and orders one for her anyway. WTF? These girls complain about Kelly’s drinking and then foist it on her when she doesn’t want one. Tamra quietly tells the waiter to make it a double.

Shannon and Heather want to have a shindig for Tamra after her competition, with all the food she hasn’t been able to eat. Shannon orders more drinks even before they’ve finished the first one. In her interview, Vicki says Shannon seems like she’s on a mission to get Kelly drunk so she’ll act crazy. She says it smells like Tamra is involved and we flash back to the naked wasted episode with Gretchen. Seriously, what is wrong with these women? I wish Kelly would just not drink.

Kelly says she feels ambushed, but when Shannon asks what she said, she tells Shannon she’s just talking to herself. In her interview, Kelly says she knows they’re trying to get her drunk. Heather calls Meghan and they have a toast to the new baby.

Five hours later. Meghan says she suddenly finds out WWIII is happening. After dinner, Vicki went to Tamra’s room with Kelly and invited her out, but she didn’t want to go. Tamra, Heather and Shannon go for a drink in the pub. Vicki ends up joining them, so nasty Tamra sends Kelly a selfie of her and Vicki, saying Vicki is talking about her. This is so creepy and mean girl, I can’t believe it. Tamra confronts Kelly, saying Vicki told her Kelly was saying things about her. Kelly says she never said anything about Tamra.

On the way to the airport, Kelly tells Shannon she feels ambushed and brings up Shannon pushing the tequila on her and attacking her in the hallway. She attacks Shannon’s appearance. Heather tells Kelly she takes things to a new low. Shannon says Kelly will be lucky to look like her at 52. This whole thing is beyond appalling and makes me embarrassed that Tamra calls herself a Christian. She’s basically a public figure and has set no example by what she just did to Kelly – with Shannon’s help. I’m hating these two right now. Heather tells Tamra that Kelly is insane and she feels sorry for her kid. In her interview, Vicki says Heather has a history of making her friends think they’re crazy and we flash back to a similar incident with Shannon. Vicki doesn’t want to get involved because she doesn’t want to be next. OMG – this is seriously just like junior high. Heather tells Kelly that she can’t hurt her with anything she says because she’s trash. A new low for everyone!

Next time, fingers are wagging all over the place, Tamra screams at Vicki, Briana calls Vicki out on being selfish, Shannon is never speaking to Vicki again, and Tamra competes.

October 16, 2016 – Once’s Jekyll & Hyde Finish Their Story & NJ’s Joe #1 Starts His Sentence

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

Once Upon a Time

I gotta say, Hyde and the Evil Queen make a handsome couple.

Gold fiddles with some kind of magnifying mirror and comes out with a haircut. The Evil Queen is waiting and she’s impressed at how well he’s cleaned up. Hyde has come with her and says Gold can change the outside, but what’s inside is still there. Gold tells Hyde to get lost, but Hyde wants a cameo necklace that’s in Gold’s shop. Hyde isn’t offering anything in return, and Gold strangles him without touching him, but he and the Queen just laugh, the Evil Queen telling him that he can’t kill Hyde. Gold let’s go and Hyde sees the necklace. He says it has meaning to him. He’s going to take it and Gold is going to let him. He says the stories are going to play themselves out, whether Gold likes it or not, and it’s likely not. Gold tells the Evil Queen that she promised not to touch Belle. She says yes, she has a deal with him, but Hyde says he doesn’t.

David cooks a massive breakfast for Emma. He says once Hook moves in with her, they won’t see her as much, but she says she’ll still come for breakfast. Regina comes by with Jekyll. She says Hyde has escaped and when Jekyll woke up, he found a cameo that belonged to someone he cared deeply about.

Back in the day, Jekyll’s friend, Mary, adjusts his tie. She tells him her father is going to be impressed with his research. Jekyll tells her that he’s working on a serum that can separate a man’s personality in two, separating his good nature from the beast inside, so he can be in control. He wants Mary’s father to grant him membership to the science academy, but when her father drops by, he says Jekyll’s work is too dangerous. He and Mary leave and Jekyll smashes stuff.

Rumpelstiltskin pops in and says he’s there to help Jekyll. He has a vested interest in his work. He says that what Jekyll sees as strength might actually be weakness. Jekyll says something about particles that he can’t get to do whatever, and Rumpel tosses some magic around, fixing it. He asks Jekyll how far he’ll go to get what he wants. Jekyll swallows the serum.

Hook gives Belle a conch shell. He tells her it’s mermaid magic. If she needs help, she’s to call into it and he’ll hear her. Gold pops in and says he’s there to protect them both. Belle says they only need protection from him. He tells them that Hyde is on the warpath, but Belle doesn’t understand why he’s interested in them, and wants Gold to go away. Gold says he’ll go, but casts a protection spell on the boat. Belle can’t leave because of it and gets pretty annoyed.

Snow brings Henry to school. Jasmine is wandering the halls, lost. She introduces herself as Shireen, and Snow realizes that she’s her class assistant. Jasmine tells her that she’s from the group of Untold Story people. Snow talks about how she decided to become a teacher again.

Jekyll is at an impasse with the serum. Emma asks Regina if she’ll talk to Hyde. She and David are going to hunt down Hyde and the Evil Queen. Jekyll asks Grumpy to bring back a sandwich which makes Grumpy grumpier, since he’s not an errand boy.

In the past, Hyde looks at himself, not recognizing his reflection. Rumpel tells him he’s parts of a man and comes up with the name Hyde. Hyde goes to a ball at Mary’s house and introduces himself to her father, saying that he’s a friend of Jekyll’s. Mary says Jekyll has never mentioned him and Hyde says Jekyll has definitely mentioned her. Mary’s father speaks to Hyde alone, telling him if he’s there to plead Jekyll’s case, he’s not letting him into the academy. Hyde tells him that he and Jekyll heard all about his new lab assistant, and alludes that she’s more than an assistant.

Grumpy brings Jekyll’s sandwich back. He wants to go back to his real job of being the wall between chaos and calm. Regina comes in and knocks Grumpy out with some magic. Hyde is with her and says they were led to him by the cameo, which has a beckoning spell on it. He tells Jekyll that they’re going to see what the monster he made can really do.

Snow is teaching Newton’s third law of motion, that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. She asks for volunteers to solve the equation on the board, but there are no takers. This seems real.

Regina goes to Gold’s shop He says he’s seen the Evil Queen, but wasn’t interested in what she had to offer. Regina tells him that Jekyll has a serum that can stop Hyde, but they need his help.

In the old days, Jekyll wakes up with a headache, and Rumpel shows him his invite into the academy. Rumpel tells him he has to snag Mary before another suitor does, and tells him to let Hyde do the talking. Jekyll asks what he wants, and Rumpel says he needs the serum. He wants to make sure it works though and tells him to let Mr Hyde out to play.

Regina and Gold go to Jekyll’s lab. Everything is destroyed. Jekyll tells Regina that Gold doesn’t care about their cause, and Gold says Hyde is Jekyll, except smarter and stronger. Jekyll produces a vial of the serum, which he’d hidden. Regina takes it. Gold reaches for it, but she tells him to work his magic from a distance. Suddenly, he grabs Jekyll’s heart. Gold tells Regina that he did make a deal with the Evil Queen because of Belle. He takes out the magic dagger and pours the serum on the blade. He says Regina can no more fight the darkness than he can, and disappears, poof! in a cloud of red smoke. Well, actually it’s sort of magenta.

Snow goes through her student’s papers and says the students don’t remember anything she taught them. Jasmine says she was gone a while. She tells Snow that once her kingdom needed a princess and perished for lack of one. She says that for the students to reach their potential, she needs to embrace who she is, Snow White.

Jekyll visits the Jolly Roger. He tells Hook and Belle that Gold took the serum and has a deal with the Evil Queen. Hook leaves to help. Belle tells Jekyll that she’s sorry about Gold. He says nothing can bring back Mary, the girl he loved until Hyde destroyed the love.

Way back when, Hyde sees Mary walking in the woods at night, which strikes me as really odd. Mary says he left her curious, and asks if he’s known Jekyll long. He says their entire lives, and he’s here on Jekyll’s behalf. Jekyll has feelings for her. She says she likes him, but can’t be with him that way – she needs someone with passion and who can give in to desire. She thinks he understands. She says she saw the way other people looked at him; they were afraid, but she saw a man unencumbered by fear and social obligation. She asks how he does that, and he says he doesn’t know, maybe he was just made that way. They kiss. A few times. A lot.

In the same woods in the present, Emma asks David if he’s okay with her and Hook. He says at first he was against it, but if she’s happy, he’s happy. Hyde approaches them and Emma zaps him, but he ducks. He flattens David and runs. Gold enters the picture and stabs him with the dagger. He asks if this is how Hyde imagined his story playing out. Hyde says yes, and pulls the dagger out. He also pulls out the vial of serum. Gold realizes that Hyde switched the vials. Hyde wants to show Gold the end of his story and watch him suffer. He holds up the dagger and tells Gold he wants to go to Belle. They both disappear, poof! in a two-person capacity cloud of magenta smoke.

Snow takes the kids outside. She nails their assignments to a tree. She tells them that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. She shoots an arrow into the papers to demonstrate. She asks if they’d like to try.

Hyde and Gold go to the Jolly Roger. Gold says Hyde won’t have the vial forever, but Hyde says he’s not harming Belle, and he isn’t the monster Gold needs to worry about.

In old Storybrooke, Jekyll wakes up next to Mary. She asks how he got there and where’s Hyde? He says he sent Hyde to talk to her and she brought him here? She says it’s none of his business and where is he? Jekyll says he is Hyde. She’s like forget it, you’re crazy. He tries to convince her and they struggle, and she falls out the window to her death. He quickly drinks the serum. Way to go. Now Hyde will be in trouble, not him. The people below see Hyde in the window. Mary’s father and another guy enter the room and Hyde runs.

Belle tells Jekyll that she’s sorry about what Hyde did to Mary. He says if she’d been strong enough to resist Hyde, she’d have been his. Belle pretends to get sugar for the tea and picks up the shell. Jekyll grabs her hand, she drops it, and it breaks. She stabs him with a piece of it and he chases her up to the deck. She calls to Gold to lift the spell, but he can’t. Hyde says here comes the real villain.

Jekyll comes up and says it’s he chance he needed to make the Dark One pay. Gold says Belle has nothing to do with this, and Hyde says neither did Mary. Hook appears and struggles with Jekyll, who meets his end by getting impailed on a fishhook. Hyde says the story isn’t over yet, and starts to command Gold to do something, but keels over. He and Jekyll die in tandem. Gold says there was one final twist.

Regina says now they know the serum works Gold says Hyde destroyed it The only way to destroy one’s doppleganger is to kill the original Regina says the way to take out the Evil Queen….and Gold finsihes is to kill her.

Emma sees Regina on the dock and asks if she’s okay. She says to get rid of the Evil Queen, she has to die. They thought Hyde was the evil one, but the capacity for evil was the same in Jekyll. She says Emma trusted her to keep her family safe in Camelot, and she needs to trust her if it comes to this.

Gold approaches Belle. He says he wanted to make a fresh start, but she doesn’t want to hear it. She says he destroyed two lives instead of one, and what could be worth all this destruction?

In olden times, Hyde packs his bags, and Rumpel says things just started to get interesting. He says the news is everywhere. Hyde says he didn’t kill Mary; it was Jekyll. Rumpel asks how he could be so weak, and says it’s all a failure; his experiment has been a waste. Rumpel tells Hyde that he should kill him now, but instead he’ll have to share a life with the weakness inside him. Hyde asks why he did this. and Rumpel says his reasons are just that, his.

Belle asks Gold why he did this. He says it was all about her. He sought Jekyll out when Belle became the maid in his castle. He thought his feelings for her would make him weak.. but the experiment was a failure. He took the necklace and sent Jekyll to the Land of Untold Stories. Belle asks what would have happened if Hook hadn’t come along? She tells Gold that it costs to much to be with him. She says he cut his hair for him, not her, because he’s tired of looking at the man in the mirror. I know that song is now playing in your head too. Belle says she’ll always see him for who he really is. Ouch.

Gold says she doesn’t think she needs him, but she will. The child she’s carrying is his, and if she wants what’s best for him, she’ll come back. He says necessity will convince her.

Snow has something for Jasmine. She gives her an apple, telling her it’s a teacher tradition. It’s a Snow White tradition too, so I’d be careful. She asks if the princess from Jasmine’s kingdom ever fixed things. Jasmine says she came from the Land of Untold Stories, but she doen’s think so. Snow says ir still could happen.

Jasmine walks thorugh the woods and meets the Oracle. Jasmine says they have no idea who she really is and asks the Oracle if there’s evidence he’s there. She says she didn’t come all this way not to find Aladdin. The Oracle promises they’ll find him.

Next time, answers for Emma lie within Aladdin’s story.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

I still say Dolores should keep her nose to herself regarding whether Chris goes to Joe #1‘s going away party. Who would take advice from her anyway? Unless it’s about how to leech off of your ex-husband.

Teresa and Joe #1 take the girls to a cupcake making class. Joe demonstrates how to ice them, since it’s similar to stucco work. Teresa is trying to make memories for him to think back on after he’s gone. Milania gives Joe a cupcake for his next birthday, since they won’t be together. That’s really touching and sweet. In her interview, Teresa says she’s doing everything in her power to make sure he girls aren’t scarred for life. The other girls give Joe cupcakes, and Milania sings happy birthday, smushing a cupcake in his face. He smushes her back and they take selfies. Joe talks to Gia about looking out for the others when he’s in the clink, and not dating anyone. Ever. He says he’ll be home before they can blink. They have a group hug.

Jacqueline goes baby shopping with Ashlee. Ashlee is consulting a mid-wife, and Jacqueline thinks she’s nuts for wanting a natural birth. Jacqueline says her phone is blowing up. Ashlee says she got a text from Melissa. Jacqueline wishes she hadn’t reacted to Teresa the way she did. Ashlee says Teresa has a lot going on, and Jacqueline says they made choices that had consequences. She tells Ashlee that  it’s not easy to be a mom. We flash back to turbulent times with Ashlee. Jacqueline gets weepy in her interview.

Siggy gathers the family together, including her parents. Siggy says she feels like she and the kids are drifting. After the trip to Vermont, she wants to communicate better. In her interview, she talks about moving to Israel in high school and how she ended up coming back to America and living with friends of the family. She doesn’t want her kids to run from her and be separated like she was from her parents.

Her mother says she knows Siggy is busy with her job and kids, but when they come to visit, she doesn’t even give them ten minutes. Siggy apologizes. Josh thinks it’s interesting that Siggy yells at him for the same things her own mother is upset about.

Melissa and Joe #2 get ready to go to Joe #1‘s party. Joe points out that while Teresa is having a bad week, Jacqueline is having a good one with a new baby coming. He wonders what’s going on in Joe #1‘ head. He says it’s almost like a funeral, and wonders what to say. Melissa says you can’t make this sh*t up, which is why we watch reality TV. In the car, Joe tells the kids not to go crazy, and to stay inside the restaurant.

Jacqueline and Chris go bowling with Richie and Kathy. Rosie and her girlfriend, Laura, join them. Even the worst of them is better than I am. Chris talks about Joe #1‘s party and how Dolores discouraged him from going. He says if anyone said something stupid about Jacqueline, there would be a problem, so he just sent a text. Hmm…I guess I can see his point. Why set yourself up for a fight?

Joe #2 asks Melissa if Jacqueline is coming to her fashion show, but she doesn’t know. She talks about not being invited to the popcorn event. Melissa says if Jacqueline wants to be an a-hole, it’s not important; getting through the next few days is important.

Chris asks Rosie if she said good-by to Joe #1. She says no, and he brings up how Joe gave her the cold shoulder at Teresa’s book signing. Rosie says she’s more focused on her new relationship. Chris says watching her bowl, he can tell she’s no good with balls. BA-DUM-CHH!

In her interview, Teresa says she was afraid the party wouldn’t be happy, but once she got there, it was actually fun being with friends and family. There’s a mechanical bull. Joe and Teresa get on together and fall off pretty quickly. Siggy says they’ll get through it. In her interview, she says you’d have to be an empty shell of a person not to be affected by a father leaving his four daughters, whether you think he deserves it or not. Joe says everyone is trying to make him cry. After years of watching these people, I feel like the Giudices are like those annoying cousins you have to invite to Thanksgiving. You love them, but would rather love them from a distance. I think they got made examples of because they’re so-called celebrities, and did something a lot of people skate for. As ridiculous as I find them, it does make me sad that the family is being separated. They really seem to care about one another and the girls are pretty good kids.

Dolores meets Siggy for lunch. She wants to have everyone over to see her new kitchen. Siggy tells her about having the family over. She calls it an intervention. She says she realized that she didn’t see her family for eight years. She talks about how her mother said she’s not spending enough time with her, and how Josh called her on it. She’s thinking of taking a family trip to the Holocaust Museum. In her interview, she says the kids know the names of every popular song and sports stats, but not their history. Siggy says all the unnecessary fighting among the women is sad.

Melissa talks with Derek about social media. She tells him to post more outfits on Instagram. She wants eight to ten posts a day, and their Instagram has to jive with their site. She says a customer should be able to buy everything that’s posted on Instagram immediately. She tells him that every day they lose money, and she wants to make back what they’ve pumped into it. Derek says they’ll get it done. Yeah, after he talks to Radar Online.

Siggy takes the kids to the Holocaust Museum. Her sister, Iris, meets them, along with her parents and Iris’s daughter. Siggy’s father, Malachi, talks about their family fleeing to France and how the French surrendered, so they were stuck there. In her interview, Siggy hopes her kids have a better appreciation for their good lives. Malachi talks about going to Switzerland, but when the war was over, they got kicked out and went back to Belgium. He says he was lucky he didn’t end up on a train or in a camp. Josh says he feels like a nurtured Jappy kid. Malachi says it’s important for him to be able to remember them being close together, because one day they won’t be here. They have a group hug and sing Hava Nageela.

Teresa and Joe #1 sit outside. She wonders if their German Shepherd knows he’s leaving, since he’s been nuzzling Joe, and Joe thinks he does. She doesn’t know how it’s going to hit her. She says in 16 years she was never away from him and he says she just was. Ha-ha! She means being there without him. She says she’ll know how he felt, but thinks it’s going to be harder. They grew up together and we flash back to some old good times from home movies. She tells him how much she’s going to miss him. He just wants to get it over with. He says they made mistakes and they’re paying their debt, and as long as you mind your business and be humble you’ll be fine in jail. He tells Teresa you can either become a criminal or a better person, and he’s opting for the latter. She says she’ll give him rosary beads and suggests he celebrate with the other religions on their holidays. She puts a strawberry in her mouth and passes it to Joe in a kiss. He says they’ll get through this, which seems to be tonight’s running theme.

The paparazzi is everywhere. Joe #1 and Teresa come out, and she hugs him. This is making me sad. The girls are crying and Joe #2 doesn’t know what to say or do. He says it’s like you’re lost. Joe #1 says he’s not scared of too many things, but you can’t predict what’s going to happen, even in the next few minutes. Boy, does he have that one right. He says no one is mentally prepared for this, but it’s really happening. He’s going in

Siggy calls Teresa to let her know she’s there if Teresa needs anything. Teresa says it sucks right now, and probably will until she talks to him, but she’s going to take a nap before the girls get home. She’s emotionally exhausted. She thanks Siggy for reaching out.

Joe #2 is setting up a trampoline. Melissa asks the kids if they had fun riding the bull. She tells them how cute they were giving kisses to Uncle Joe. Melissa says she got a text from Teresa saying “love you,” and Joe asks if she feels better about the relationship. In her interview, Melissa says she couldn’t be happier that she’s the one Teresa is reaching out to. Joe talks about how even though you can fight with family members, you have to be there when they need you.

Dolores and Siggy visit Jacqueline. She’s doing the weirdest thing. She has these baby dolls and she’s smearing their diapers with chocolate. Are these party favors or something to practice with? Dolores asks about Joe #1 and how Jacqueline feels, since she’s been on an emotional roller coaster. Jacqueline says when she saw the pictures of them hugging, she lost it. Siggy says that even though there’s no relationship right now, Teresa and Jacqueline have a long history, and there will always be a bond. Jacqueline says she would be there for Teresa regardless. Siggy says it’s heartbreaking to watch the kids have to go through it a second time. She wonders if Teresa is coming to Dolores’s housewarming party, and Dolores says definitely. I still have no idea what’s up with the diapers.

Teresa talks to Joe #2 and Melissa on the phone. She talks about her father crying and how upsetting it was. Joe asks if she wants to get Chinese food and hang out tomorrow. She says it would be nice and that the girls will be sleeping with her tonight.

Sure enough, they all get in the bed, which is pretty big. Teresa asks if the girls want to say a prayer for daddy. Each of the girls takes a turn except for Gabriela. To be honest, I mix these kids up except for Gia, so I think that’s who opted out. Teresa adds a prayer and Milania tells her not to cry because she’ll cry. Audriana (I think) turns out the lights

Next time, Siggy’s housewarming happens, Melissa has a fashion show, and Dolores tells Jacqueline f-u. Wow.

October 11, 2016 – Morgan is Missing on GH, Randal & the Baby are Still Missing on ILYIW, & Two Guests Almost Go Missing on Below Deck

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Franco is getting some take-out food from The Floating Rib, and tries to con Nell into giving it to him for free. He tells her to put it on his tab and that he’s Jason Morgan. Nell says she knows Jason Morgan. Carly walks in and interjects that Franco is no Jason Morgan.

Sam stops by Elizabeth’s with a text book that Jake forgot. Elizabeth invites her in and asks how she’s doing with the pregnancy. Sam says she’s glad the first trimester is over. She says she’s happy that Elizabeth survived Paul’s attack, and Elizabeth says she’s one of the lucky ones.

Julian asks if anyone has spoken to whoever stole the car, or if they were crispy fried in the crash. An officer tells Dante there are no signs of his brother.

Sam tells Elizabeth she knows they’ll never be friends, but maybe they can try to get along better. Elizabeth says that Sam and Jason have to accept that Franco is part of her life.

Carly suggests that Nell google Franco (why isn’t she telling her to use Spyder-Finder?), but only if she has a strong stomach. She asks Nell what the problem is, and Nell tells her that he’s out of cash. Carly takes the bag out of his hands, but he tells her it’s for Elizabeth. He says once upon a time, Elizabeth gave Carly’s kid a kidney from her kid, and even if it turned out that it didn’t happen, it’s the thought that counts. Carly gives him back the bag and tells him to get out.

Dante says he wants updates every five minutes and tells the officer to get with the Coast Guard. Julian says it must have been Morgan who stole the car, and Dante says it was. Julian says there are no skid marks and that it was no accident; it was meant to happen, just not to Morgan. Dante tells him to shut up.

Jason tells Sonny there was an accident. He tells Sonny about TJ trying to stop Morgan from stealing the car and that Morgan was drunk. He talks about getting Morgan to pull over and how when Morgan got out, the car exploded. What was that Griff said about the sins of the fathers? Although Sonny did call it off. Someone besides Pete is going to get fired.

Julian walks into Ava’s place and he asks if they’re alone. She says they are, and he wants her to double the guard. He says they’re in trouble.

Sam says Elizabeth can’t expect her and Jason to give their blessing after all Franco has done. Elizabeth says she just doesn’t want them interfering. Sam says fine, but Franco will turn on her like he does everyone else. She tells Elizabeth to keep Franco out of her face, and Elizabeth says don’t turn around. Franco is in the doorway.

Carly says Franco’s google is pretty disturbing. Carly says she’s made some bad choices, but he was one of the worst. Nell asks about Elizabeth. Carly tells Nell about how they thought Josslyn had gotten Jake’s kidney. Carly says she’s not exactly welcome in some circles. Nell says there are plenty of awful people in Port Charles, but Carly isn’t one of them.

Ava says she doesn’t need protection. Julian says he does. Someone just tried to kill him.

Sonny comes running to the accident scene. Dante tells him there’s no trace of Morgan. Sonny thinks he got away. Jason says that when the car went over, Morgan did too. Dante says they’re searching for him. Maybe he’s off with Nicholas, sipping umbrella drinks on an island somewhere.

Franco asks if everything is okay, and Elizabeth tells him that Sam was dropping off a book for Jake. He asks if she wants to join them for take-out. Sam tells Franco to stay away from her and her son. Jake comes downstairs and asks why they’re fighting.

Carly tells Nell that when she was Nell’s age, she was a wrecking ball. She says she interfered in her mother’s marriage and hurt people she cared about, and probably others who didn’t deserve to be hurt. Nell says people are probably just jealous of her. They want what she has – respect, a great job, and a strong marriage. Nell says she has it all, and if she could be like Carly, it would be awesome.

Dante explains that when Morgan got out of the car, it went over the cliff. He says that they’re looking for Morgan in the water. Sonny wants to help. He takes his jacket off and goes down the hill. Dante tells Jason it wasn’t a vehicle malfunction or accident, it was a bomb in Julian’s car and Sonny put it there.

Ava asks if Julian is talking about a hit. Julian tells her about the car and says they need protection. Ava says she and Sonny have an understanding, and Julian says then at least he needs protection. Ava doesn’t think Sonny is that stupid. Julian tells her someone they know was driving the car. She says they don’t know any car thieves, do they? He tells her it was Morgan.

Elizabeth asks why Jake isn’t in bed and he says he heard them fighting about Franco. He asks why Sam doesn’t like him.

Ava says it’s not possible and Julian must be mistaken. Julian says Dante was at the scene and had confirmation. Ava says it doesn’t make any sense. She asks if they found his body, but Julian doesn’t think so, and says there’s no body to be found. Ava says Morgan can’t be dead. Julian says the bomb was meant to leave no doubt and incinerate whoever was in the car. He says Sonny killed his own son.

Dante tells Jason that Carrrlos killed Duke, Julian killed Carrrlos and almost killed Alexis, yet he’s walking around free. Sonny can’t look weak, because if you’re weak, you can’t protect your family. Jason doesn’t know what to say. Dante tells him don’t say anything, but wants him to understand what happened. Sonny tried to end the war with Julian and Morgan ended up a casualty.

Carly says she might not have it all, but she’s fought for what she has. She tells Nell that she’s meant for great things. Nell says all she ever wanted was to be a teacher and Carly tells her teachers change the world. Nell tells Carly to go home and she’ll finish up. Oh, I get it, she’s in love with the whole family.

An officer handcuffs Sonny to the car. Sonny begs to be released and Dante says okay. Sonny gets crabby with the officer. Dante tells him that they found something. Sonny asks if Morgan is okay, but Dante says they found remains enough for forensics to run a DNA test. Sonny says Morgan is a good swimmer, and Dante says the test is going to confirm what they already know – Morgan died in the explosion. Sonny looks over the cliff and screams Morgan’s name.

Jordan arrives and asks Dante what they know. He says everything indicates a bomb. She asks if someone was targeting his brother, but Dante says it was Julian’s car and Morgan stole it. Jordan is like ah-ha! Julian was the intended victim. Dante says Julian has a lot of enemies. Jordan asks where Sonny was, and Dante says at home.

At the same home, Carly calls Sonny, asking where he went. He’s with Jason right outside. Sonny says he wants to be alone for a while, and tells Jason to tell his family how much he loves them, and to protect them, because he couldn’t protect his son.

Ava looks sick and Julian asks if she’s okay. She says definitely not. She says she saw Morgan tonight. She wonders why he would steal Julian’s car. Julian says maybe it was a prank, but he doesn’t know what would be going through Morgan’s head, especially being drunk. He says Morgan had a natural chemical imbalance, and you don’t need to be a doctor to know not to mix psych drugs with alcohol. He says Sonny will probably find a way to blame him, and Ava flashes back to switching Morgan’s drugs. She says it was her fault.

Franco tells Jake that he hurt Sam. Jake says Franco is his friend and wouldn’t hurt anyone. Franco explains that they might be friends, but he and Sam won’t be. He says a long time ago, he wasn’t very nice. Jake asks why. Franco says at the time, he had something growing in his head that made him sick. Jake asks if it’s contagious and Franco tells him not to worry. Franco says he did bad things and he hurt Sam bad, because he told her the worst lie ever. Jake asks if he’s sorry and Franco says every minute of every day. He should have told them that, but figured it was useless because they were never going to forgive him. He says he tries to be a good guy now, because he wants everyone to know that he never wants to hurt anyone again. He just wants everyone to get along, because they’re not going anywhere. Sam watches and listens.

Jordan tells Dante she’s sorry and that Sonny isn’t the only one grieving tonight.

Jason stops to see Jake and wonders what Sam is doing there. Jake tells him that he smells and Jake says he needs a shower, but he’s glad to be there.

An officer gives Jordan something in a bag. It’s Morgan’s phone.

Sonny comes in, and Carly asks what happened. He says he was in the river and she needs to sit down. He says this is going to hurt. Again, she asks what happened. He says Morgan.

Julian asks how Morgan’s death could be Ava’s fault. She says she knew what was going on, and Julian says everyone did. He says the way Sonny set things up, it was either going to be him or Morgan, and he’s glad it wasn’t him. He leaves and Ava cries alone.

Jason tells Jake that it’s time for bed. He leaves with Sam. Franco asks if Jason just didn’t notice he was there. Elizabeth says something bad happened. Outside, Jason tells Sam he’ll tell her about it in the car, but he wants to go home and be with their son.

Ava drinks a martini and flashes back to Morgan drinking at the bar and her messing with his meds. She flashes back even further to their affair when he was practically in diapers. She gets raccoon eyes and sobs on the floor, asking what she’s done.

Carly asks if Morgan is okay. Sonny says he’s sorry and Carly says no. She says if something happened to her baby, she would know. She insists he’s okay. She’s going to call and he’s going to answer. Sonny says he’s dead. We see Carly argue with him through the window and they embrace as the phone rings.

Tomorrow, Carly says it’s just a dream, Kiki wants to end things with Morgan (that should be easy), and Sonny asks Jason if he thinks Sonny is the reason Morgan is dead.

If Loving You is Wrong

Alex hits a tree, but her crash isn’t nearly as bad as the one on GH. Although she is out in the middle of nowhere. She can’t find her phone and flames start shooting out of the cars hood. She tells it, “No, no, no, no, no, no,” but it’s not listening.

The cops spend more time at Randal’s house than any crime scene ever. Kelly calls Steve over. Marcie tells him that Brad had mud on his shoes. She says it’s nothing, but Steve says the police will be the judge of that. They spend time discussing Brad’s shoes. Marcie tells Steve about where Brad said he was, but Steve says the place closes earlier than Brad said he was there.

Steve leaves and Esperanza takes his place. She asks Marcie if she’s okay. Marcie says fine and runs inside. Esperanza has something to talk to Kelly about. Steve sees Eddie sitting in a patrol car and says he told Eddie to get to wherever Brad was before forensics gets there. Eddie has a bunch of why questions, but Steve says he’s too close to the people there and tells him to secure the other scene. I honestly don’t think Eddie would be a welcome employee anywhere, much less a police force.

Eddie stops one of the officers who says they have a suspect. Eddie pumps him for information saying their on the same team but the officer laughs, saying he’s heard about Eddie’s team. He tells Eddie that they have an eye witness and Brad is the suspect. Eddie is still annoyed that he actually has to work. Esperanza asks what he’s doing there. He says he’s an officer and she says he’s a disgrace. She asks what he and Brad did. Eddie says he has no idea what she’s talking about. She says Brad didn’t work alone. She tells him that Louise said Brad kidnapped Randal and the baby. Eddie says Brad is his boy. Esperanza says he could go to jail and what about Brad’s kids? She says if something happens to the baby and he has something to do with it… She doesn’t finish, but tells him that she hates him. The only one who doesn’t hate Eddie is Eddie.

No surprise, Eddie calls Brad. Brad says it’s late. Eddie says not too late for Brad, and tells him to get out of there. He tells Brad to meet him at a certain corner. Brad doesn’t understand what’s going on, and Eddie says the cops are coming to arrest him. Eddie asks where Randal and the baby are, but Brad doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Eddie spells it out for him and tells him that he should have conferred with Eddie first. Brad asks if Eddie is high. He says Alex and Marcie have been blowing up his phone, and Marcie hit him in the head with a bottle. All of a sudden, the light bulb comes on and he tells Eddie he didn’t do anything. Eddie tells him that’s very believable and to keep it. He asks where the bodies are and Brad says he really doesn’t know anything and he’s not meeting him. Brad hangs up. Do we still say “hanging up” today? Or is it clicking off?

Brad calls Marcie. Kelly and Esperanza tell her not to answer. Marcie feels sick and runs to the bathroom. Don’t tell me she’s pregnant. Esperanza says this is a nightmare. She notices 39 missed phone calls from Travis on Kelly’s phone. Kelly says he got aggressive with her. He was mad because she slept with him and kicked him out. She says he won’t stop calling and leaving crazy messages, and he’s been circling the house. She plays some of the messages for Esperanza. Yep, they’re crazy. Esperanza says it’s scary, and she didn’t see this coming from Travis. Kelly says neither did she. They agree he sounds possessed. Kelly thinks he’ll calm down.

Esperanza brings up Travis being engaged to someone else. She suggests Kelly call the authorities. She says she’s had enough crazy ass men in her life to know, but Kelly insists it will blow over. Esperanza makes her promise to call the police if it doesn’t. Kelly reminds Esperanza that she wanted to talk to her about something, but Esperanza says they’ll talk about it later.

Joey’s probabtion officer, Hardy, asks Natalie how Joey is doing. Natalie says they don’t know yet and introduces him to Lushion. Lushion takes him aside and asks if it’s necessary that he be there. Hardy says witnesses said Joey had a gun and that’s a probation violation. Lushion says they don’t know if he’s going to make it through the night. Hardy is more like heartless and says he’ll just talk to Natalie, but Lushion says if he’s going to talk, he talks to Lushion. He gives Hardy his card. Hardy tells Natalie he hopes Joey gets better and leaves.

Natalie asks if Hardy wanted to take Joey to jail. Lushion tells her worry about Joey right now. Natalie says Hardy flirts with her all the time and questions if he was really there for Joey. She wonders about the gun, and Lushion says it was registered to Mr. Kim. Quan was going to rob Faun. Natalie is surprised her father let her make the deposits, and wonders how she’s doing. Natalie says she’d told Joey to always comply with cops and instead of protesting the cops, they should protest the ignorant asses who walk among them.

Ben tries to do some actual work and Julius calls. He wonders how Julius got the number and asks what Julius wants. Julius says Ben hasn’t called, and Ben says he’s been busy. Julius asks if he’s too busy for pure Colombian. Ben says he’s not sure if he should be talking to him. Julius says Ben already knows the answer. Ben says he’s intrigued, but Eddie is all over him. Julius says like a boyfriend? and Ben is like, hell no, but Eddie is out of control, freaking out when Ben isn’t at his beck and call. Julius says like a jealous boyfriend and what’s up with Ben? but Ben says he has a girlfriend. Julius asks if Ben wants to change his life and says he’s the man to do it. He says he doesn’t beg, he just moves on and can find someone else. Ben says he can do this. Julius says he wants Ben and Ben is like, what do you mean? and Julius says he wants him on his team. He doesn’t want to have to call Ben again.

Eddie looms over Ben who says it’s his girlfriend on the phone. He calls Julius “honey” and Julius says this is some weird stuff. You’re tellin’ me. Eddie tells him get off the phone and get him some coffee from the coffee shop – the low fat vanilla latte he likes. He says pick up his dry cleaning too, and no whipped cream. When he’s not pissing me off, Eddie cracks me up.

Kelly gets a call from her ex’s mother, Diane. She says if Kelly doesn’t want to talk to her son, she needs to tell him. She says it’s Kelly’s ass that should be in jail. Her son took the fall so Kelly could raise their nappy headed kid. Kelly is like, whoa there, and Diane tells Kelly she’d better talk to her son or she’s going to the police.

Alex tries to flag down more cars than should be on this road. A truck slows down. She asks for help. The driver, who looks like one of the Duck Dynasty guys, tells her to hop in. He’s not going as far as she is, but she asks him to take her as far as he can. He tells her she shouldn’t be out on the road like this. She tells him that she wrecked her car, and he asks if she’s all right. She says she will be, and he asks if she called the law. She says her phone is in the car and he asks if she wants to use his. She says the car is totaled. He introduces himself as Carl and says she’s pretty. Not surprisingly, this makes her nervous, but he tells her that he wouldn’t want his daughter out at night, and talks about how many lowlifes live around there. He wonders who she knows in town and she says she grew up there. He wishes he could take her all the way, but can’t be late with his delivery. He asks if she likes Christian music and puts on the radio.

Marcie cries in the bathroom. Esperanza asks her to come out and talk. Kelly tells Esperanza that Marcie isn’t all right. Esperanza says the worst part of the whole thing is that she’s still in love with Randal. Agreed. She says they can’t get away from it, no matter how hard they try, and I guess she’s referring to herself with Eddie as well. Kelly wants to know what Esperanza had to say. She says Joey got shot and they don’t know if he’s going to be okay. Kelly wonders what’s happening tonight. Esperanza says she doesn’t want to imagine being in Natalie’s position. Kelly wants to call her, but Esperanza says give her a moment. Esperanza asks Marcie to come out again, but she repeats that she’s fine.

Kelly says think about how Alex feels and that Brad has taken it too far this time. Esperanza asks if they’re sure. Kelly reminds her of Brad being stupid at the hospital, but Esperanza thinks something isn’t right. She doesn’t believe Brad would kidnap anyone.

Brad calls Marcie. She asks why he’s calling her. He says Eddie called asking if he’d kidnapped Randal and the baby. He says he’d never do that; it would be insane. He’s put two and two together about her hitting him and says he was trying to kiss her, not attack her. She says explain the mud on his shoes and why it was red. He says there was new construction and he walked across the pavilion. She doesn’t believe him. He says she knows he wouldn’t do anything like that, but she says not really. He can’t think of anything he can do to make he believe otherwise. She says the baby is innocent in all of this. Brad says he believes Marcie thinks he did it. The police knock on Brad’s door. He asks Marcie not to hang up, but she does.

The police ask to come in. Ha-ha! It’s Steve because no one else really works. He tells the officers to search the place and Brad asks if they have a warrant. Steve tells him they’ve been given permission by his roommate. He arrests Brad and suggests Brad tell them everything. Oh sure, go right ahead, without a lawyer.

Next time, Ben gets hospital duty, Eddie threatens Lushion and attacks Ben, and Julius wants Ben on his team. Are we ever going to see Randal again? Are they recasting him?? Did contract negotiations not go well???

Below Deck

New deckhand Kyle has dislocated his shoulder. Lauren resets it. The pool is set up and the guests get in the water. We suddenly see Barry, the first officer, who must be hiding all of the time. Somehow things get out of control, and a couple of guests get thrown off of a water toy, nearly colliding with the boat pulling them. They’re fine. And probably too drunk to care. The crew is a little shaky though.

Captain Lee tries to call just about everyone and no one is answering their radios. He asks if anyone is on service. He tells Sierra to make a batch of painkillers immediately. She thinks he means ibuprofen, but he means the drink. He ends up having to help her.

The captain wants to get into calmer waters and hunts for Kelley. He’s getting more annoyed about no one responding. He finds Kelley’s radio unattended. Kelley claims he was in the bathroom, but Captain Lee says he should bring it with him. Ben jokes to Kate that the captain is worried about his creme brulee, so he’s moving the yacht. Kate wonders what happened while she was on break, and Ben tells her nothing much, just a couple of the guests almost dying. Captain Lee isn’t thrilled with the deckhands not being at the top of their game and looking like Larry, Moe and Curly.

Kate says the guests are drinking at a rate that impresses and scares her. Ben thinks Kate is texting Ro too much, and should be dealing with the job at hand. I don’t know if he’s making a joke or not. The guests are having a white party this evening, and Kate is psyched. She’s turning it into a White Rabbit party. Kelley wonders how long it will take for Kyle to realize that Sierra is nuts.

Kate tells Ben she doesn’t know if the guests will notice or care what time dinner is. Ben thinks it would be interesting if he took an Ambien before dinner. Lauren tells Sierra that Kyle is obsessed with her, and Sierra says she’s kind of into his ruggedness. Captain Lee thinks Kelley should know what he expects and be doing better and bigger things at this point.

The stews make up cute little Alice in Wonderland themed trays with “drink me” and “eat me” stuff on them to lead the guests to dinner. Kate and Ben get into an argument. He says he doesn’t have the luxuries she does and needs to know when dinner is early on. Kate says in Ben’s world he tells the guests when to eat, but she prefers the guests enjoy their very expensive vacation. The stews wear bunny ears and fluffy tails, but it’s White Rabbity, not Playboy.

As usual, dinner is amazing and the creme brulee comes out fine, the guests thinking it’s the best thing ever. Ben checks out Kate’s phone and tells Lauren that he doesn’t know about this Ro character.

Kate wonders when the guests are finally going to pass out, and tells Emily if they ask for more Irish coffee to give them decaf. Kate talks to Ro, telling her that the guests are wasted and in the Jacuzzi. Ro wanted to come visit, but says she won’t be able to make it. The guests barely get themselves to their rooms.

Captain Lee notices the yacht windows are filthy. He’s going to chew on somebody’s ass, and Kelley is the one. He says if Kelley doesn’t start performing the way he should, he’ll have to babysit him the whole season. He asks Kelley why no one is dealing with the windows. Kelley says it’s on the inside and that’s for interior to handle. The Captain isn’t having it and Kelley feels like he gets picked on for Kate’s responsibilities. The captain says Kelley has been wallowing in self-pity for two days. He shows Kelley that it’s not all on the inside and Kelley says okay, he’ll deal with it. In his interview, Kelley says the captain is terrified of Kate, but I find that doubtful. Kelley gets the deckhands together and the windows are cleaned.

Miraculously, the guests are up. OMG THE BREAKFAST! The Captain tells Kelley he has more responsibility now and he wants Kelley to see what he sees. Lauren is selected to bring the anchor up by herself. As with those before her, the captain doesn’t understand her hand signals. The captain says it’s just a learning experience, but Lauren calls it bullshit. She complains to Kelley that she has no experience. She complains that he didn’t have her back, but Kelley says he did everything he could and he’s in the hot seat. He tells her that he’ll always have her back.

It’s time to dock. The guests squeeze in a final cocktail and Captain Lee gets a fat envelope. The captain thanks the crew and says the radios are still a pet peeve and everyone better get it together with that. The tip is $15,000, or $1,350 each. Kate says it was like a really good one-night stand. Captain Lee says he has good news bad news. The bad news is that the hated slide has arrived, but the good news is that the crew has a resort to themselves the next day, thanks to a friend of the captain’s. He asks them to stay on the boat tonight, but they can crawl into a bottle of rum tomorrow if hey want.

The crew gets ready to go to ashore to Scrub Island, and here comes Ro. Nico is disappointed that she’s so good looking. Kate is super surprised. She says she’s happy, but also freaking out. Ben is fascinated watching them kiss. He says Ro knows that he and Kate have a history and it’s making him nervous. Kate gives Ro a tour of the boat and they make out. She introduces Ro to the others. Ben says it looks like Ro just crawled out of a fallout shelter in Moscow because she’s dark on dark on dark. Everyone takes a boat to the mainland.

Ben says it’s funny to finally place a face to the laugh he hears every night on Kate’s phone. The crew hangs around the pool and drinks. Ben blatantly stares at Kate and Ro kissing. Kelley flirts with Emily, but she finds him too touchy feely. In his interview, Kelley says it’s all small signals and he’s going to sweep Emily off he feet before she knows what hit her. Um…you might be the one in for a surprise, Kelley.

Kyle and Sierra argue over the loaves and the fishes. Sierra thinks that Jesus turned loaves into fishes, and Kyle has to correct her. Kyle tells Sierra she’s stunning and Sierra says he’s cool. In his interview, Kelley thinks Sierra is a lunatic. Kate says Ro is a retired professional athlete, but still has the same commitment to physical endurance and excellence.

Next time, it’s Valentine’s Day, Kelley makes Emily feel awkward (it’s not the first time he’s done that to a woman), and Captain Lee wants Kelley to be proactive.

October 10, 2016 – A Fiery Crash on GH & an Overly Heated Argument on the OC

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Morgan and Jason pull over. Jason sounds like somebody’s dad, asking if Morgan can get out of the car or does he have to come over there. Morgan gets out and KABOOM! Jason dashes into the flames.

Molly asks TJ if he got in a fight. He tells her it was Morgan.

Dillon looks at the pictures of the Nurses Ball and flashes back to kissing Kiki two minutes ago.

Kiki calls Morgan. She asks him to call and tell her where he is. She has to talk to him about something important.

Sonny tells Carly that for the first time in a long time, he thinks everything is going to be okay. Carly says she’s not used to him being an optimist and he asks if he’s that much of a downer. Frankly, yes. She says there will be challenging times ahead with Morgan, because we call everything that’s a real pita “challenging” now. He says he knows that’s not all she’s worried about, and Carly says she doesn’t want him seeking his own kind of justice. He says it’s all going to work out.

Julian reams out his crony, Pete, and asks if he saw who stole the car. Julian says the alarm would have gone off. Unless Pete left the keys in the car. D’oh! He tells Julian how he just stepped away to have a smoke. Speaking of which, where did he step away to? China?

Tracy meets with Hayden and Finn. Since Finn is still alive, she figures it’s not all bad news. He tells her that they overheard something about the hospital. Tracy says they hope to open in another month, but Finn says the hospital seems to be for sale.

TJ tells Molly what happened with Morgan. She thinks they should call the police, but TJ says Jason is handling it and Morgan will listen to him before he’ll listen to the cops. They go inside and see Julian. TJ suggests they leave, but Molly says she’s not being chased out by an abusive freak. Dante enters and Julian says it’s about time he showed up. Julian tells him that his car was stolen not 10 feet away from the place.

Sonny gets all esoteric. He says fate finds you unexpectedly sometimes. Carly asks if he’s saying he’s not going after Julian. He says he went to church and ran into Griff. Sonny gave as good as he got, but realized he had to find peace in his heart, in the world, and with Carly. Carly says she can hear what he’s not saying, and tells him not to say anything else. She’s grateful because she knows how hard it was for him, but he’s made her happy.

Jason grabs his phone and calls 911, telling them about the accident. He says he thinks the driver is trapped inside the flaming car.

Carly tells Sonny he’s right and he says he’s always right. Ha-ha! She says everything is going to be okay, with them and their family. He says he knows it because he has faith. They kiss and start to leave the bar. Nell sees them and says she has good news. She got four tickets for Shawn Mendes for Josslyn, and they’re VIP seating.

Tracy says she’d know if the hospital was for sale. Finn says the information came from a guy on the board named Fred Gray. Hayden tells Tracy how they heard him and Lucy discussing it. They tell her about the intention to move the hospital to another building and use the present property for condos. Tracy says her family has poured their heart and soul into the hospital. Finn says the guy was looking at it for an associate, but didn’t say who. I’m thinking Valentin, who has to step back into the picture eventually.

Dante asks Julian if he had an anti-theft device and Pete admits to leaving the keys in the car. Julian says start with Sonny, who’s been harassing him. Dante says he’ll keep it in mind, but he’ll start with asking if anyone at the bar saw anything. He approaches Molly and TJ. TJ says he thinks he knows who took the car – Morgan.

Dillon rehashes his and Kiki’s conversation in his mind, and thinks about how she said she never got over him. He says they’re finally getting their chance.

Kiki sees Carly and says she can’t find Morgan. Carly says she assumed Morgan was with her, but Kiki says she hasn’t seen him since the morning, but she knows he was upset about being expelled. Sonny tells Kiki how much Morgan appreciates her being in his corner, and that he and Carly appreciate her too. No surprise, Kiki looks sick, and Carly asks her if everything is okay

An emergency team comes, and Jason says he can’t get to the driver because the car is half in the water. Morgan is either in the car or in the river.

Tracy shows up at Crimson, figuring she’d find Dillon there trying to forget his father. He says it’s semi-working, but he’s fine. In the middle of the nightmare, something happened that he’s wanted to happen for a long time. He tells her that Kiki makes him happy and they’ve decided to be together.

Kiki tells Carly that she and Morgan had a misunderstanding and she wanted to talk it out. Sonny is concerned about him not calling either one of them, but they agree that Morgan always forgets to charge his phone.

Nell tells Kiki she saw Morgan at The Floating Rib and he was in bad shape.

Julian tells Pete that Molly is probably giving Dante an earful about how the thief should get a medal. He still believes Sonny is behind it. Pete says maybe they’re lucky that he just took the car and not Julian’s life.

Firefighters pull Jason away from the accident.

Dante calls in the information that TJ and Molly gave him. Molly says Morgan was drunk and she’s really worried. Dante says alcohol isn’t the best mix with Morgan’s medication. Molly frets and Dante’s phone rings. It’s Jason. Jason gives him the location of the accident and tells him to get there quickly – it’s about Morgan.

Hayden asks what Finn is going to do if he can’t go back to work. Finn says now that he has the equipment he needs, he can finish his research. He tells her that he’s made a breakthrough. She asks how much of one, and he says he likes his chances. She says they should celebrate, but he tells her to slow down. She tells him to admit he’s feeling happy.

Nell says Morgan seemed like he was in a bad mood. Kiki insists on her being more specific. Nell flashes back on their conversation. She tells Kiki that Morgan seemed to think that the two of them were breaking up. Kiki asks if Morgan mentioned Dillon. Nell says she’s not sure. Kiki tells Nell that Morgan overheard her leaving a message for Dillon and lost it, even though she told him it was nothing to worry about. Nell says she can listen if Kiki wants to talk, but Kiki says she needs to talk to Morgan. It will just make things worse if she talks to someone else first. When she leaves, Nell says it’s a lot harder on Morgan and calls Kiki a princess. I guess they haven’t decided quite what to do with Nell, since she was all up in Michael’s business like yesterday.

Sonny and Carly kick back with some wine. He apologizes for making her worry about what he was going to do regarding Julian. She says she was just scared. She kept thinking about their wedding day, and he asks which one. Sonny is a real comedian today. Carly says she’d been waiting for him, and Jason came in, telling her Sonny had been shot. Sonny says all he could think about was seeing her face one last time. He let his hatred blind him to what was important – his family and his beautiful wife. While they’re talking, this music is on in the background that sounds like 60s easy listening – like The Girl from Ipanema.

Dante gets to the accident scene. He asks where Morgan and the car are. Jason says he was here. and then he wasn’t, which sounds like a line from a Dr. Seuss book.

Sonny asks Carly what her favorite part of being married to him is. She asks what he thinks. He suggests his dimples or eyes, and she says that’s partly it. They get busy and it becomes a song part. I run out for a smoke and someone steals my car. Just kidding.

Julian consults his GPS, but there’s no signal from the car. Pete suggests the guy was a pro and disabled it, and Julian says he must have been a pro, since he stole a car with keys in it. Julian says he’ll have to deal with it himself, since the PCPD is no help. He fires Pete. Just when I’ve learned his name. Cronies – easy come, easy go. Kiki runs up and asks if Julian has seen Morgan. He tells her that he’d seen her over-medicated boyfriend drinking in the bar earlier, and to do herself a favor and dump him

Dillon tells Tracy that because Kiki has Ava for a mother, she gets what he’s going through. Tracy asks if Kiki isn’t taken, but he says she’s breaking up with Morgan. Tracy thinks it’s asking for trouble. Dillon says he hopes Tracy will appreciate Kiki as much as he does one day. She says if Kiki makes him happy, she’ll welcome her with open arms. She says clearly she’s not a good judge of character, and because of Paul the hospital might close permanently.

Hayden says she sees Tracy successfully getting GH back, and Finn being successful with his work and getting his life back. Finn says he can’t look that far ahead. His phone reminder sounds for his shot, and she asks what he’s going to do when his illness doesn’t give him an excuse to be distant. He says he’ll be right back and asks her to wait there.

Nell brings a glass of champagne to Hayden. There’s a card along with it from an Even Lloyd.

Carly tells Sonny she’s the happiest woman on the planet and she loves him. Her phone rings and he tells her to leave it, but she picks it up. She says a sprinkler went off in a room at the hotel while the guests were in bed. Sonny says they were hot, but not as hot as he and Carly just were. Sonny is on a roll. What’s next? Stand up?

Jason tells Dante about how Morgan was talking about Kiki and he got him to pull over. He says when Morgan opened the car door, the car exploded. When Jason got out, he saw the car had gone over a cliff. Dante wonders if Morgan went with it. Jason said he couldn’t get close enough to see for sure. Dante looks over the cliff and calls to Morgan, but not very loudly.

Finn returns to the table. He notices the champagne and Hayden says a man at the bar sent it along with this, and gives him the card. She says he’s the president of an investment firm. Finn asks if she’s going to respond, and she says she might give him a call. Not for a job, a date. That’s right, Finn. Hayden wants action, not just talk.

Dillon can’t believe someone wants to turn GH into condos, but Tracy says not if she has anything to say about it. Dillon says he feels like he’s drowning whenever he thinks about Paul too long or too hard. He says GH might be closing for good because of Paul’s actions, and wonders if it’s the final straw.

Kiki leaves another message for Morgan, saying she needs to talk to him in person. She says she knows she hurt him, but doesn’t know how to get him to reach out to her. She apologizes and says they need to talk.

TJ is upset that he didn’t prevent Morgan from taking the car. Molly says Morgan was acting on impulse. She asks why it had to be Julian’s car and says he’ll never let it go until he completely ruins Morgan’s life.

Julian sees Dante. He looks over the cliff and sees his car. He asks what happened. Dante says he doesn’t have all the details, but the witness says it exploded.

Carly calls home and asks if Sonny heard from Morgan. He says it will take time, but he’ll keep her posted. He’s going to wait up for her. Jason walks in looking like a mess, and Sonny asks what the hell happened. Jason says it’s Morgan.

Tomorrow, Sam tells Franco to stay away, Julian tells Ava they’re in trouble, and Jason tells Sonny about the accident.

The Real Housewives of the OC

It’s time to head to Dublin and the ladies are packing. Since becoming pregnant, Meghan wants to dive deeper into her heritage. Kelly is at a crossroads in her marriage, and says the trip is coming at a good time. She talks to Michael about controlling his alcohol intake. He got pretty hammered at Heather’s party.

Briana sees a pair of men’s shoes in Vicki’s bedroom. Vicki says Steve just came over for coffee and Briana wonders what kind of coffee dates Vicki is having.

Tamra has been instructed not to drink at all because of her upcoming competition. She says the more sober she is, the more crazy she realizes the rest of the women are.

Everyone meets at the airport. After a flight that takes absolutely no time, we’re in Ireland. The ladies are met by their driver, Sean. Boy, is he going to be sorry he signed up for this job. Everything is rainy and green. On the way to the hotel, Heather tries to teach everyone words and phrases they might need and it’s a lost cause. The hotel is impressive, and they’re greeted with a signature Black Velvet cocktail of champagne and Guinness. Vicki is also presented with some flowers from Steve. The card says, “I love you,” and the girls get all giggly. Tamra wants to know where the gym is and Shannon wants to know where the bar is. The rooms are beautiful, filled with antiques and lovely details. No surprise, the first stop is the bar. Meghan has plans to visit with a genealogist the next day. Shannon wants to see a leprechaun. Probably Dr. Moon told her they’re real. Maybe he told her to steal one’s hat for a treatment.

Meghan plans a pub crawl for the girls while she does her genealogy thing. Heather reminds Tamra that she promised one fun day. Tamra asks what a pub crawl is, saying she doesn’t like beer, and I’m wondering why such an expert at drinking doesn’t find it self-explanatory. Shannon tries an Irish accent and it comes out sounding like she’s either Spanish or from Brooklyn. Meghan joins them at the first bar (no alcohol of course). Shannon reveals a green glitter top that no one should ever wear. Meghan leaves and they couldn’t care less. I’m not sure they even notice. Vicki encourages Tamra to drink because a drunk Tamra is a fun Tamra. Sometimes. In her interview, Tamra says it’s hard not to be on the fun bus while Vicki is driving.

Shots happen. Vicki whoohoos. It’s on to the next pub.

Meghan has the genealogist over for tea. There are a bunch of dishes with little sandwiches and such, and I wish I could reach into the TV and take one. Dude tells Meghan she’s related to the majority of the town. Throw a rock, hit one of Meghan’s relatives. He goes over her family tree with him. Her great grandfather a million times removed was a rebel who was executed. Good times…

Shannon yells for alcohol and Vicki wants another shot of whatever. Shannon complains about Kelly doing some kind of juvenile “nose flick” joke, that thing The Three Stooges do. Tamra is glad everyone is in a good place. Vicki asks for instruction on pouring a pint and gets behind the bar, flirting with the bartender. Wow, from the mini preview before the commercial, this is going to take a downturn quickly.

Shannon is pretty loud and it sounds like she just made a pass at Kelly. Vicki complains to Tamra about Kelly doing that nose flick thing. Tamra tries to make it a bigger deal than it is, and Kelly tells her to keep walking. Tamra is like, are you talkin’ to me? and tells Kelly she takes things to another level. In her interview, Heather says Kelly has an amazing ability to take a good time and knock it on its ass. Kelly says it was only a joke. She was just kidding with Vicki, but Tamra says Vicki doesn’t like it. Kelly says she can’t believe a child’s joke is freaking everyone out. Tamra is frustrated with defending Kelly. Kelly says she’s sorry they’re sensitive and she won’t do it again. Obviously, a non-apology apology, and it doesn’t fly. Kelly tells Heather that usually people who are of Jewish descent get a joke, and they’re sarcastic and funny. Heather points out that she’s being racist, and Kelly says she’s Mexican. In her interview, Vicki says she’s trying to stay neutral, having just gotten back in good graces with everyone, and I can’t say as I blame her. Kelly says Tamra repeats what everyone says. Truth! but she should have known that by now. Tamra says she didn’t even tell Heather about how Kelly looked into how much Heather owes on her property. Kelly says Tamra is out of her mind and a liar. There goes Tamra’s finger. In her interview, Vicki says Tamra should just let it go. Tamra talks some more about Kelly looking into Heather’s financial situation and Kelly says, are you kidding me? over and over. Kelly says a realtor friend mentioned something to her about it, but it’s not like she personally dug around for the information. Other patrons are starting to look at them and they leave. Kelly calls Tamra an f-ing liar all he way down the street and tells Shannon no wonder Tamra’s daughter won’t talk to her. Uh-oh.

Heather steers everyone toward a store for retail therapy. Shannon can’t repeat what Kelly said fast enough and Tamra goes after Kelly. We only hear them since they’re in the store, but Tamra goes ballistic and Kelly accuses Tamra of hitting her. Shannon finds Tamra weeping in the car and says she’s sorry she said anything. Yeah, sure. Should have thought about that before. Tamra is hyperventilating, and Shannon tells her to breathe slower. I start to question whether any of these women could function in the real world.

Shannon tells Tamra she’s an amazing mom and Kelly is a moron. Tamra says Kelly knows how painful the subject of her daughter is and how dare she? Um, she’s drunk and you kept prodding her? Shannon tells Tamra that she said it herself, Kelly wants to hurt people because she’s miserable. Tamra calls Kelly as evil as Satan. Oh for Pete’s sake.

Kelly asks Shannon what her intent was. She says if she’d wanted to hurt Tamra, she would have said it to her face. Shannon tells her to back off. In her interview, Vicki says she feels sorry for both of them. Heather says she’s never been asked to leave a store in her life, and because of the altercation, they were asked to leave. Ha-ha! on Fancy Pants, but I’d be pissed too. And no, I’ve never been asked to leave a store either. Kelly says Tamra hit her, but Heather says she doesn’t care; Kelly shouldn’t have said what she did. Wow. Fancy Pants endorsing corporal punishment. Heather says she was in the bathroom and they (I assume security) banged on the stall, asking for the American woman and requesting that they leave. Tamra says Kelly crossed the line. Kelly says she said something in private because she was angry that Tamra lied. In her interview, Kelly says she feels like she’s with the mean girls in grade school. I think Kelly has a drinking problem, but these women need to put things in perspective.

They go back to the hotel. Vicki wonders if they’re a bunch of hillbillies, no offense to the hillbillies. Ha-ha! She and Kelly go to their rooms. Tamra, Shannon and Heather sit down for tea. Shannon says she was given the menu already open to where the vodka is.

Kelly tells Meghan that Tamra lied about her looking into Heather’s business. She repeats to Meghan what she said to Shannon. In her interview, Meghan says some things you just leave alone, and she can’t believe Kelly went there. Kelly tells Meghan what happened at the store.

Tamra says she feels horrible because she’s been supportive of Kelly and made excuses for her. In her interview, Tamra says she saw Kelly as damaged, but realizes that no amount of compassion she has for her is going to change anything. Let me just put in my Christian 2¢ here. Tamra was all fine with her compassion as long as Kelly was focused on someone else. If she’s serious about her faith, she needs to back up what she’s been saying, and not have a double-standard. I’m not faulting her – I’m not perfect in this area, but I’m not on TV either, so I’m just sayin’.

Kelly tells Meghan that she said it out of anger. Meghan says if Tamra lied, that’s messed up, but that doesn’t make what Kelly said right. Meghan says there’s a lot of talking among the women and she should get that by now. What I said. Kelly adds that altough she’d been supportive of Vicki, Vicki didn’t speak up for her either. She says she’s tired of defending herself and doesn’t want to go to dinner with the rest of them. Meghan says she’s sorry that this happened. Kelly claims she’s never met girls like this. Meghan tries to get her to relent about dinner, but it ‘s a no. Well that pub crawl was a bust.

In the car, Tamra says Kelly did it to herself. Meghan tells the group about what Kelly said and how she responded. She hopes they can all work it out. Back at the hotel, Kelly calls Michael, telling him the women ganged up on her. Michael tells her to stay calm and get in a good place. Kelly finds it ironic that she wanted to get away from him, and now he’s the only one who has her back. Yeah, since he also has an alcohol problem, why shouldn’t he be encouraging of her drunken rants? She tells him she doesn’t want to be around them because they’re mean.

The girls go to a restaurant and Meghan tells them about what the genealogist told her and how she’s related to everyone in town. She’s excited to be learning about her heritage in the place her ancestors are from. Tamra and Heather refuse to eat potatoes. This is Ireland, people!

Some musicians start to play. Vicki dances with a short guy. Tamra says grandma’s a tramp. The other women find this hysterical and Vicki jokes that she just got pregnant. A dude does some Riverdancing on the bar. Vicki and Shannon both dance and Meghan says it’s an Irish miracle that the two of them are having fun together. I’m sure it won’t last long

Next time, Meghan tries to find her people, Vicki almost steps in a cow-pie, Shannon forces tequila on Kelly (!), and Kelly feels ambushed.

October 9, 2016 – A Wicked Stepmother in Storybrooke Ain’t Got Nuthin’ on Kim D in New Jersey

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

Once Upon a Time

Who’d have thought this show was going to be a hit? Certainly not me, especially since I like it. I figured it would last about 5 minutes.

Regina, Snow and David go to the hospital. David asks if Regina is sure. A nurse gives her something on a tray. It’s a lasagna. They enter a room that’s more like a cell. Hyde is there having just polished off a feast. Regina asks what the Evil Queen wanted and he says the same thing she does – information. Since he’s full now, his price has gone up. I guess the lasagna isn’t going to cut it. He tells Regina it’s hard to stay a step ahead of herself.

Henry goes to Granny’s and meets Emma and Hook. He’s had the Untold Story people write down who they were traveling with to help figure out their stories. Ashley wants to see Henry’s list to find out who has children and might need her day care services. Hook amuses Ashley’s daughter while she goes through the names. Emma watches him from across the restaurant. Ashley asks Hook if there’s a chance of a fairy tale ending and he says not yet. She says if she can get a happy ending, anyone can.

Back in the day, Ashley/Ella is sweeping a walkway. Her wicked stepmother complains about her father not having left enough money for good help, only her. The prince’s footman, Jacob, comes with an invitation to the royal ball. It’s obvious the stepmother and her daughters are snobs, as they make fun of Jacob being lower class.

Ella asks if she might go to the ball. The stepsisters wonder what she would wear. Ella says she does have a dress. She opens a trunk and brings out a ballgown of her mother’s. One of the stepsisters promptly throws it into the furnace. Ella pulls it out and the stepsisters talk about Ella wearing cinders and come up with the name Cinderella. Because they’re creative geniuses. The stepmother says they have a ball to attend and they leave. Ella cries.

A tiny mouse in a tiny sweater gives her a key. Ella says she remembers stories about magic keys that – omg, he’s wearing a tiny hat too! – her mother told her could unlock stories. She throws the key in a box and says there’s no such thing as magic.

Dwarf Grumpy wants to form a union. Actually, I’m making that up because there was a distraction, but he’s leaving Archie’s office grumbling about work. Emma comes in next. She says she’s not a jealous person, but seeing Ella all happy with her family makes her think of how her own happiness is going to disappear. She says her magic is failing. Archie asks if that’s a reason to stop striving for what she wants. He could get hit by a bus, but that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t walk out the door. She tells him that Hook wants to move in together and she’s on the fence. They’ve fought for everyone else’s happy endings and she won’t have hers. Archie says maybe it’s not about the ending, but how you live.

Ella’s husband tells Emma his rifle is missing. He thinks Ella is going to kill her wicked stepsister. Emma says they’ll have to find her the same way she’s been found before, and conjures up a Keds.

Jekyll tries to recreate the syrum that split Regina and the Evil Queen. He’s got a makeshift lab going on near the crash in the forest. Snow suggests Regina try thinking like her sister. Regina says when you want to tear families apart you look for the cracks that are already there. She needs to talk to Zelena.

Snow tells David she’d like to be normal some day. She asks why a princess can’t be a teacher and says she’d like to go back to teaching like she did as Mary Margaret. David thinks that’s noble and kisses her. She looks at Jekyll’s equipment and comes up with an idea.

Henry and Hook are sword fighting with sticks. Emma comes by with the shoe and says it will take them to Ella.

Ella tells her mouse turned escort that whatever Rumpelstiltskin wanted, it’s worth it. She enters the ball in a beautiful gown, saying she owes everything to him. She tells the footman to have fun and then literally runs into Snow White. Ella apologizes profusely, and Snow tells her she’s not an ordinary princess, so don’t worry about it. She doesn’t think Ella is an ordinary princess either, and Ella says she’s just a girl playing dress-up for a night. Snow points out that a prince is checking her out. Ella wonders if he’s charming, but Snow says that name’s taken.

Ella approaches the prince and they dance. He asks her name, but she wants to remain a mystery. He calls her the girl with the glass slippers. Because he’s also a creative genius. He tells her that she’s not from this world. He has something to attend to, but tells her don’t go anywhere. Very pretty scene with the dancing and the gowns.

Ella sees the prince give her stepsister, Clorinda, a rose. Ella’s stepmother suddenly appears behind her and says they’re laughing at her. Ella says the prince danced with her, but her stepmother says he made her into a joke and everyone knew it except her. Ella runs out leaving a you-know-what.

David walks into Gold’s shop and asks him where he got the coin. He wants to know if his father’s death was an accident, and he wants to cut right to a deal. Gold says he likes candor almost as much as a deal. He looks up the coin’s records and says the more desperate the man, the higher the price. He asks how badly David wants to deal.

The mouse bugs Ella, poking at the box where the key is. Ella opens a door with the key and magic stuff is happening on the other side of it. She’s about to go through, and Clorinda runs in and stops her. She tells Ella that the prince loves her and he’s looking for her. Ella thinks Clorinda is making fun of her because she saw the prince give Clorinda a rose. Clorinda says she’s getting married, but not to the prince, to his footman Jacob – the prince had been giving her a message. Ella points out that Clorinda was mean to Jacob, but she says she was putting on an act like she’s done most of her life. She apologizes for everything and says they’ve both been prisoners, but tonight, she’s out of there. She’s meeting Jacob, they’re headed to a little farm, and she’s never coming back. Ella says her mother will hunt her down, but she has an idea. She takes the key.

In Storybrooke, Emma, Hook and Henry find Ella. Ella says she has to find her stepsister. She says doesn’t want to kill her. She says Corinda wasn’t the wicked one, she was. She tells Emma she can’t do it for her this time and that her happiness was a lie. Emma says she understands and her hand shakes. Ella runs. Hook tells Emma to use magic, but she can’t.

Regina goes to Zelena and asks if the Evil Queen was there. She sees the rattle and has her answer. Regina says Zelena should give it. Zelena says it’s a family heirloom, but Regina says there are strings attached. She tells Zelena that she just wants to help, but Zelena says she’s the one who ripped herself in half and she’s the one who needs help.

The Evil Queen approaches Emma’s group. She tells Henry that she’s as much his mother as Regina is. Emma tells him not to listen, and that the Evil Queen is the worst part of Regina. The Evil Queen suggests it might be the most honest. She says Regina never got her happy ending because she won’t let her story play out. Emma says if the Evil Queen goes after Ashley, she’ll save her again. The Evil Queen says all of the happy endings are going to turn to dust and uses a lot of words to say that Emma is a big loser in the end. She says everything is going to fall apart, and the three of them disappear, poof! in a cloud of purple smoke.

Henry, Hook and Emma are on a dirt road. Emma says the Evil Queen took them off the chessboard.

David visits Belle. He has something for her from her husband. He gives her a cassette tape. Belle asks what David needed from him. David says Rumpel has information about his father and Belle says he can tell Rumpel he’s held up his end of the bargain. They talk about David’s father. She says it’s hard for fathers and sons. No matter what the damage, they still need each other.

Emma makes a mini speech about Ashley being her first save and says they have to find her. Hook suggests she go back to her education as a bail bondsperson. Henry says they should check the book. Checking the ending is all they need.

The stepmother tells Ella that Clorinda ran off with the footman. Ella says the prince is looking for her, and if she marries him, Clorinda can do what she wants. The stepmother says Ella looks like garbage and has the education of her cat. She says maybe if Ella had proof, and looks in the trashcan, finding the shoe. She lifts it out of the can. Ella says it’s nothing. The stepmother asks where Clorinda is, and Ella spills the beans (not to be confused with the Jack and the Beanstalk beans), I guess in the hope that her shoe will be spared. The stepmother “drops” the shoe, and it smashes to smithereens.

Storybrooke Ella finds Clorinda in the barn. She sees Clorinda has been hurt and runs to her. Ella says it’s all her fault, but if she fixes their story, maybe Clorinda can forgive her. She realizes that Clorinda isn’t hurt at all, and Clorinda says it’s too late. She can’t forgive Ella and neither can her mother. The stepmother reveals herself. She has a rifle and cocks it.

In the old days, Snow takes the prince to where Ella is. Ella is locked in and they can’t hear her calling. The tiny mouse gets Snow’s attention and gives her the key. They enter the house. The prince asks Ella why she ran away. She says the shoe is broken and there’s no proof now, and if he wants someone else, she understands. He says why would he want to do that and asks her name. When she says Ella, he says he’d like to change that to Princess Ella. They kiss and she thanks Snow. The prince says he’ll get the royal glass blower to make her new shoes.

She says there’s something she has to do first.

Clorinda is about to take Jacob to the Land of Untold Stories through the magic door, when the stepmother kills him. Ella runs to them, announcing her engagement and showing off her ring. Clorinda can’t believe Ella is so ignorant, and the stepmother makes it all about her, saying that when it’s finally her turn to catch a break, Ella gets everything and she gets nothing. She says that’s not going to happen. She’s going to pause her life and maybe she’ll come back when people are more appreciative of her. She jumps through the magic door.

Ella tells Clorinda that Jacob is in Storybrooke. On the other side, the stepmother drags Jacob into the barn. She wants to shoot Jacob. Ella says she knows her stepmother is in pain, but she doesn’t get to take it out on Jacob. She stands between them. The stepmother says it’s a coward’s weapon anyway, and not personal enough. She produces a knife and stabs Ella.

Emma arrives. She goes to Ella, but her hand starts to shake. Henry tells her she can do it. She concentrates and zaps Ella, whose wound magically disappears. Ella apologizes to Clorinda, Hook and Emma embrace, everyone is happy, probably not for long.

Regina and Snow take Jekyll to a garage with a lab in it. A guy who looks like Sting tells them ti’s his. They can use it, but don’t touch anything in the fridge – it’s not food. He introduces himself as Dr. Frankenstein. Snow is hoping to get the town back to normal. I’m not quite sure what she means by that.

Everyone else gathers at a picnic area where Grumpy is giving the stepmother golf lessons. Emma asks Hook to move in with her. She says live is uncertain, but she could make space in her closet for some black leather. They kiss.

David ponders a piece of paper. He tells Snow that Gold gave it to him. It’s an article about a shepherd found in the wreckage of a cart. He’d been stabbed. David says it’s his father, and this means he wasn’t drunk and killed in an accident. Snow says his father kept his word, but David says the killer is still out there. Snow tells him that what he’s contemplating is vengeance, not justice, and to leave it along. She says raising a family is the most important thing they’ll ever do, and if he’s off on some crusade, they can’t do it. David says bring Neil up is epic enough for him. He tells her to go to bed and that he’s burning the paper.

She leaves and he hesitates. He blows out the candle instead.

Belle plays the tape. We hear Rumpel reading poetry. We see him walking along the dock.

The Evil Queen says it’s not fair; the Savior wins. Hyde says but for how long? She says his pathetic other half is working on something to destroy her. Hyde tells her that if she wants his help, it’s a tall order to fill from inside a cell. The Evil Queen frees him and says let’s take a walk. They leave arm in arm.

Next time, Hyde is free to wreak havoc, Jekyll and Hyde come together, and Aladdin takes the stage in two weeks.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Siggy comes to see Dolores’s kitchen. They talk about Vermont. Siggy says she saw a side of Jacqueline she never did before, but Dolores says she just thought, here we go again. Siggy says she thinks Jacqueline believes they didn’t have her back because she’s getting the silent treatment. We flash back to how Siggy stood up for her at the dinner. Siggy says she didn’t leave her family and kids to go to a sh*tshow, and then have one of her best friends get mad at her when she didn’t do anything wrong. She wants to confront Jacqueline. In her interview, Dolores says Siggy wasn’t trained for this and wandered into the “do not feed” part of the zoo. Dolores says somebody has to admit they’re wrong and it ain’t gonna happen. She wonders what’s going on between Melissa and Jacqueline, but wants to keep her distance.

Melissa is at the boutique with Jackie and Derek, dressing the mannequins. Jackie feels that sales are dragging. Melissa thought they were doing well, but Jackie says the internet sales have been disappointing. Melissa thinks they have to move forward on social media. She’s having a fashion show, but Jackie is going to be in the Bahamas. We see where Jackie’s priorities are.

Melissa asks Derek what Kim D has against him. He seems taken aback, and she says Jacqueline was down her throat about him spreading stories. She says she went back and found some of his old videos and if he’s been talking trash about Teresa, they’ll have a problem. She talks about Kim D being a sh*t stirrer. No argument from me there.

Jacqueline tells Chris she’s disappointed in the girls. Siggy and Dolores come by. They do squats on the porch before ringing the bell. Jacqueline does have a super cute dog. I think it’s a Cocker Spaniel. Right away, Siggy wants clarity. She wants to know why Jacqueline is mad at her and points out that she’d backed her up in Vermont. Dolores says Siggy wants to know if her loyalty is being questioned. Sometimes I laugh as I type this stuff; it’s so stupid sounding.

Jacqueline pretends like she didn’t even know what was going on around her. She needed to go into her “cocoon.” Siggy says she was angry and hurt, and Dolores interjects that Jacqueline talks about how hurt she was. Chris compares Jacqueline to an abused dog and I go, come on now. Isn’t this the woman with the semi-violent tagline? Jacqueline says Melissa tried to rewrite history and she was disappointed. Dolores asks if she’s done with the friendships and Jacqueline says yes, both Teresa an Melissa. Siggy doesn’t want to go to Melissa’s fashion show now. Because we’re seven years old. Chris – why is he here? – says they’re both amazing people and talks about seeing inside their souls, making me uncomfortable. Siggy just does not want to accept all of this. She cries and hugs Jacqueline.

Is it me, or is Siggy way over-involved emotionally with other people’s problems?

Joe #2 visits Teresa. The kids are in school and Joe #1 is off somewhere. They talk about him taking his turn in prison. Joe #2 asks if Teresa was bitter at Joe #1 when she first went to prison. She says at first she was mad at him for getting her involved and was mad at herself for not reading everything, but knew that nothing was intentional. We see a home movie of her and brother Joe as teenagers. She says it was easy for them to mesh back together. Joe #2 tells her if she needs anything while her husband is away, just ask. Her main concern is the garbage, which I find funny, since it’s the one thing I don’t like to do when my husband is away.

Siggy meets Melissa for coffee. She’s thankful that Vermont is over. She says she hates the rift. Melissa says it got ugly. They talk about Jacqueline saying everyone thought of Melissa as a stuck-up bitch. Siggy says maybe her first impressions of Melissa were phony and self-absorbed. She thought Melissa wasn’t very invested in relationships and wondered why she held back. Melissa says she didn’t know Siggy and Siggy says she gets that now. Yes, Siggy, that’s how normal people are. Melissa says they all got thrown under the bus in Vermont. I think we might be able to get the lyrics of a country song out of this.

Siggy tells Melissa she can’t go to Melissa’s fashion show, or Kim D’s, because she wants to stay home with her blankie doesn’t want to be in the middle of this. She feels that if she goes, it will hurt Jacqueline. Melissa says if she’s going to Jacqueline’s events, she is picking sides. In her interview, Melissa wonders if Siggy is being persuaded or she just thinks Melissa is wrong. nose job Siggy says Jacqueline felt that Melissa didn’t have her back. Melissa says obviously Jacqueline isn’t okay with the good place she and Teresa are in and wanted to cause trouble. Siggy says Jacqueline was hurt that Melissa didn’t answer her question and Melissa doesn’t know how she was supposed to. She says Jacqueline was in her face like a Screaming Mimi, all over the place, yelling about everything from Melissa’s nose job (her “worst kept secret”) to Strippergate. Melissa says it’s fine if Jacqueline doesn’t want to be friends, but her approach was all wrong. She explains Strippergate to Siggy and tells her it wasn’t like Jacqueline had warned her specifically. She’d said that something was going to come out about someone. Yep. That narrows it down. Siggy asks if Melissa thinks Jacqueline had anything to do with it and Melissa says she doesn’t care. Melissa says the news is so old, it might be true, and calls out for a dollar. In her interview, Siggy says Melissa makes some valid points. What is wrong with this woman that she can’t see that Jacqueline is basically pissed because Teresa and her sister-in-law aren’t giving her enough attention? Siggy thanks Melissa for being level-headed and classy.

Dolores is out shopping with her mother, looking for Easter stuff. She talks about how she had to forget about the Italian/American dream, and how men looked down on her because she didn’t have an education. Her mother says it took her fifty years to stand up for herself, It was always about Siggy’s father. Her mother didn’t even have a clue about their finances. She says he was reluctant to show her, but he showed her anyway. (Seriously, whoever you are with, you should both have knowledge of things like that. I have a friend whose father’s death left a real mess because nobody knew anything except him.) Dolores says its in the DNA, and her mom was so dependent, it mentally and physically crippled her. Her mom says that’s the way her mom was too. Dolores says they grew up at the same time.

Ewww! It’s Kim D. Dolores and Jacqueline arrive for dinner before the fashion show. They talk about cleavage, but Jacqueline wastes no time in telling Kim D that Melissa thought that Jacqueline was behind Strippergate. She did not! Dolores tells them about Siggy not going to Kim or Melissa’s fashion show. Kim’s eager facial expression for any and all dirt is disgusting.

Kim D talks about how Teresa should get a move on a divorce, since Joe #1 can get 50% of what she’s worth. Dolores says that isn’t going to happen, and Kim D asks if Teresa is delusional or doesn’t know. She alludes that Joe #1 was cheating on Teresa while she was in jail and we see some tabloid headlines. She thinks Teresa should dump him. Both Jacqueline and Dolores aren’t taking the bait with this one and do not want to discuss Teresa’s marital business. In her interview, Dolores says Kim D can’t help who she is and can’t fight the DNA. Again with the DNA.

Siggy, Dolores, Teresa and Melissa meet for lunch. Teresa orders everything on the menu and Melissa says when they go out, Teresa and Joe #2 order fifteen appetizers each. Siggy says although she believes Jacqueline is coming from a good place, her talk with Melissa has changed her mind about going to Melissa’s fashion show. Teresa asks about Kim D’s show and if there was any drama. We flash back to all the previous Kim D events where there was much hair pulling and loud cursing.

Teresa says they need to look at the big picture – Jacqueline is the one who brought Kim D in. Teresa makes the proclamation that Jacqueline is crazy and Dolores says no more taling about anyone anymore. Siggy talks about Joe #1 going away and they all agree that it will be positive for him in several ways. Like laying off the sauce.

It’s time for Jacqueline’s Little Kernal popcorn event. Siggy tells Jacqueline about the lunch. She acts like she’d beat the pants off of anyone who talks about Jacqueline, but fails to mention that she’s going to Melissa’s show. Dolores announces that she’s having a future ladies night. Jacqueline says that Joe is having a going away party. While the entire family was invited, Chris is going, but she isn’t.

Chris makes a speech. They give a portion of their profits to an organization that helped them with Nicholas after he was diagnosed with autism. Chris also announces Ashlee’s pregnancy. Lots of smiles and congrats. Dolores tells Chris that if Jacqueline doesn’t go to Joe’s party, he shouldn’t. Chris says he was going to make an early entrance and exit, but Dolores discourages him. She thinks he should make a statement in standing by his wife, since these are people she just had an argument with. Oh brother. Not only do I think she’s sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong, I think she’s wrong. Jacqueline’s fight isn’t with Joe, nor is her frenemy-ship. On top of it, this isn’t a normal party on a Saturday night. Joe is going to be gone for quite a while. To deny his friend to be at his going away party is kind of cruel. And Chris has it right to make it early and brief. He’s saying good-by to his friend, but not dancing the night away with the friends of her enemy friend enemy.

Teresa and Dolores meet at church. It’s done up for Easter and absolutely beautiful. Teresa says she thought she had the perfect life. Dolores talks about how they thought it would be, the white picket fence deal, and how it’s never really like that. Teresa says this generation would have said good-by at the first sign of trouble,.but she’s old school. Dolores says yeah, kids today don’t take that sh*t, then realizes where she is and says, sorry, Jesus, which is pretty funny. Teresa say she would never stand for infidelity and Dolores makes a half soap opera face. The two women say a prayer.

Next time, Siggy admits to plastic surgery – a lot of plastic surgery, Joe #1 tells Gia to never date, Teresa isn’t ready for Joe to leave, and Jacqueline gets emo again.

 

October 4, 2016 – GH’s Paul has a Plan, ILYIW’s Lushion is the Man & Below Deck Gets a New Deckhand

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Carly asks Sonny if he’s sure the call he took is from the warehouse. He says she’s been giving him the cold shoulder, so what’s up? She wants to know if he’s lying to her. He says he already told her that if anything happens to Julian, it won’t have anything to do with him.

Ava finds Scotty in a dive bar. She says he was supposed to pick her up on the way to court. She wonders if he’s going back on his promise to represent Paul. Scotty says it’s not like Paul is going anywhere.

Jordan visits Paul in his cell. She wanted to see him in custody with her own eyes. She says when she’s done with him, he’s going to wish he’d spent the morning alone.

Claudette sees Griff at the diner. He wants to know about the man she’s been trying to get away from.

Nathan confirms that Valentin is still in prison. He tells Maxie that he can see his daughter now.

Curtis tells Nina he’s not having much luck finding a baby for her. She says she has another great idea. She’s not just thinking outside the box, but outside the country, and wants to make a child’s life better. Curtis says she can’t just swoop in like Angelina Jolie. Nina says she’s not trying to, but their motives are the same. She tells Curtis that kids are dying in camps and she wants him to broker a deal.

Nell works her cell phone at the bar, trying to score Shawn Mendes tickets for Carly to surprise Josslyn with on her birthday. She finally has success and Kiki says no wonder Carly hired her. Kiki sees Michael and calls him over to tell him the good news, but he’s bummed about Paul being the one who murdered Sabrrrina.

Carly tells Sonny there’s a difference between telling the literal truth and being honest. Are we talking about a sin of omission here? Morgan comes downstairs and Sonny asks what happened to him.

Jordan says Paul was so annoyed at his own incompetence and inability to protect someone he loved, he took it out on innocent people. She tells him that he’s the worst kind of bully. Jordan leaves, and Scotty and Ava come in through the revolving guest door at the jail.

Griff says there have already been too many secrets and Claudette tells him the man is Valentin Cassadine. He asks how she got mixed up with him.

Maxie says Nathan might be jumping the gun. She says they only have Claudette’s word that the hair was from her daughter. Nathan says he can double-check once Charlotte gets there.

Morgan says he was cramming with some guys. Carly asks why he smells like smoke and he says one of the other guys smokes. Yeah, that’s what I used to tell my father too. He goes to take a shower and Carly asks Sonny how much studying he thinks they did. Sonny says none. Sonny gets a call and it’s the dean telling him that Morgan was expelled. Sonny tells the dean that if Morgan did something to break the rules, he has to face the consequences, but thanks him for his help. Sonny tells Carly about Morgan getting caught cheating. Morgan comes back downstairs and Sonny yells at him, asking when he was going to tell them he was expelled.

Curtis says Nina can’t buy a foreign baby. Nina says he knows the baby will be the most precious thing to her. He says he has a sliding scale when it comes to right and wrong, but this is wrong. Nina says she turned Crimson around with her ideas and she’ll handle this too.

Michael says he can’t wrap his head around this right now, using an incredibly dated expression for one so young. Kiki goes into the hallway to call Dillon. Nell asks Michael what he’s going to do.

Ava tells Paul that Scotty is his representation, and Scotty says he’ll represent anyone for a price. He’ll do everything in his power to get Paul a not guilty verdict. He says he did get Julian off. Paul doesn’t question his legal prowess, but doesn’t need his skills. He already has a a lawyer.

Nathan tells Maxie that he’s definitely going to double-check the paternity, but he doesn’t want Charlotte to get hurt. He remembers all the changes he went through when he found out that Madelyn wasn’t his mother. He says if Charlotte is his daughter, he wants her to know she’s loved and wanted. Maxie says he’s so good with Georgie, he’s going to make a great dad. Nathan tells her he loves and appreciates her. They kiss. She suggests they take it to the bedroom, but Nina comes in saying they need to talk.

Claudette tells Griff that when Charlotte was born, she was completely overwhelmed. She got a neighbor to babysit and put on her high heels and slinkiest dress and went out to a nightclub. She felt like her old self again, walking past the velvet rope and right into the club. She tripped going in and suddenly a handsome man was carrying her. He didn’t leave her side all night, and the champagne kept flowing. The next day, there were photos of them in the paper, calling him her knight in shining armor. She says they weren’t wrong, but Valentin changed. Okay, let me stop here. No one even knew Valentin existed until five minutes ago, yet he was on the society pages of a New York City paper? Okay.

Maxie tells Nathan to remind her to get her spare key back. Nina wants Maxie’s wedding planner so they can get a move on. Nina suggest they get a helicopter to fly overhead, so it’s like a celebrity wedding with paparazzi. Maxie says they haven’t done too much planning, since they have other things on their minds. Nina wants to know what.

Charlotte says Valentin went from attentive to suffocating to controlling. He wasn’t physically abusive, but could intimidate her with a look or a gesture. When she tried to leave he told her he’d kill her and her daughter. And her little dog too.

Curtis sees Jordan at the station. He gives her a lottery ticket. He reminds her of when they were partners, and when one of them had a victory or win, the other bought them a lottery ticket. Jordan says he was the one who made the original observation that it was probably someone right under their noses, and it was good police work. He asks if that will get him back on the force.

Paul wants the best lawyer he knows – himself. We know what they say about that. Ava tells Scotty he can leave. Scotty tells Paul he’ll be having his stuff moved into Paul’s old office today, and to enjoy the prison cuisine. He leaves and Paul says he knows a bribe when he sees one. He asks Ava what she really wants.

Morgan asks how Sonny found out. Sonny says the dean called, apologizing that he couldn’t do anything. Morgan says he had a paper due and couldn’t concentrate. He knew how much trouble they went through to get him into school, and didn’t want them to know he screwed up. He says the meds and sessions aren’t working. Sonny says it takes time, but Morgan explodes, saying he’s never going to get better and they might as well accept the fact that he’s always going to be like this. He storms out and Sonny tells Carly to let him go.

Claudette tells Griff that she had to find Nathan because their daughter was in danger. She says Valentin said if she told anyone, he’d kill them. She says she knew deep down that Nathan was Charlotte’s father, but she wishes Charlotte was their daughter.

Nathan tells Nina about Charlotte. Nina says she can’t believe it, and he’d be the best father ever. Nathan says Claudette got involved with a criminal and had reason to hide her. He says he found out the guy is in prison, so he can see Charlotte now. Nina says, then what?

Michael tells Nell that Teddy’s life was flipped upside down because of Paul. Nell says she can’t imagine why he did it, but tells Michael to take comfort in that Paul was caught and he’ll pay for what he did

Ava wants the flash drive. She says she’s offering Paul his freedom in exchange for hers. Paul says what if he didn’t get acquitted; how fair would that be? Ava says he did things to protect his daughter and she’s done questionable things to protect hers. If she goes to jail, who’s going to protect them? What I’m wondering is why does he even need the flash drive at this point?

Jordan tells Curtis that it’s the details that are important. During a sting, he took off to score. A case was blown because he was using. He says it was only surveillance and nothing was supposed to go down, and he screwed up. They were supposed to be partners, but she turned him in.

Carly says Andre told her Morgan has been showing up for all his sessions and he’s been scheduled for blood work. Sonny thinks a piece is missing. He says maybe Morgan wasn’t ready for school. Carly says what if he’s never ready? Sonny tells her that just because Morgan’s bipolar is taking longer to deal with than his, doesn’t mean it can’t be fixed; he just needs more time. Carly says she thought things were going better, but he’s not even out of the woods yet.

Kiki leaves a message for Dillon. Morgan hears her and says she has time for Dillon, but didn’t for him last night. Kiki asks what his problem is. He says his girlfriend is calling another guy, but couldn’t be bothered with him. She asks if he knows that Dillon’s father is the hospital killer. She says she called Morgan back after her shift but he didn’t call her. He tells her he was kicked out of school.

Sonny tells Carly there’s nothing worse than watching your kid be in pain, but he knows from experience that Morgan has to do the work himself. He says Morgan will get through it, because they’ll be beside him every step of the way. It will just take time. Carly knows he’s right, but it’s killing her to watch him struggle. He promises that Morgan will have a healthy happy life.

Nathan says now that he knows Charlotte is his daughter, he’s never taking his eyes off of her. Nina asks if Charlotte is going to live with them, and Nathan says yes. Maxie says Claudette might have something to say about that, and Nathan says joint custody then Nina tells him a child can put a strain on the relationship, and he should think about it, but she has a perfect solution. Yep. Smelled this coming.

Claudette says the love she had for Griff wasn’t a sin and she isn’t a terrible person. He doesn’t think she’s a terrible person, but he makes terrible decisions.

Jordan doesn’t regret turning Curtis in. He says for one mistake, and asks if her career couldn’t absorb one mess up. She says she tried everything to get him to quit and nothing worked  She wasn’t worried about her career, but his life, and the lives of those around him. She says all they were gong to do was put him on suspension while he went to rehab, but he wouldn’t play ball. He says she did it for his own good then?

Paul says he lost himself in trying to make things right for Susan. Ava doesn’t condone his actions, but she understands his motives. He says he was a bully, nothing more, and deserves to be punished. He says it’s almost a relief, and he thinks the same might be true for her.

Michael talks to Nell about Julian getting acquitted. She says but he was prosecuted by Paul, another criminal. Michael says what’s to stop the next DA from letting Paul go? He says everyone was pursuing their own interests, and now it’s his turn.

Jordan says all she wanted was for Curtis to get straight and get back on the job. He says he’s been clean for years, but she says she doesn’t trust him. He tells her that he’s not the same man. She asks how he knows that. He tells her apparently she can’t see it, so play the lottery ticket before her luck runs out.

Claudette tells Griff that it’s time for Nathan to meet Charlotte.

Nina says she’ll take Charlotte.

Kiki asks Morgan what happened. He says he was going to tell her last night, but she didn’t have time. He adds that she’s looking at him like his mom does. He tells her to save her sympathy for someone who needs it.

Michael tells Nell that he’s going to get justice for Sabrrrina and leaves. Nell calls Sonny. She tells him that Michael was upset about Paul, and she’s afraid of what he might do.

Ava says Paul’s mission is accomplished; his daughter is safe, but hers are vulnerable. He says they’re convenient for her. She plays the mommy card to justify murder. She says if he ever cared about her, don’t do this; don’t send her to prison. Jordan comes in and says his arraignment is scheduled. Paul says he has to tell her something.

At the end, there’s a tribute to Agnes Nixon, the creator of One Life to Live, All My Children and Loving, who recently passed away. When I was a little girl and learning soap life at my Aunt Mary’s knee, I wrote to Ms. Nixon. One Life to Live had a plotline about drug addiction where they were using actual recovering addicts. I was impressed by it, and thought it would also help others, and I told her so. This kind lady wrote me back, thanking me and saying a little something. Alas, I no longer have the letter, but the fact that she took the time to write back to me has always stayed with me, and gives you a glimpse into her character.

Tomorrow, Sonny tells Michael not to throw everything away for Paul, Ned comes back, and Andre asks Morgan if there’s a good reason he’s risking his life.

If Loving You is Wrong

Marcie cracks a bottle over Brad’s head. His ear is bleeding and he asks why she did this. She grabs a big kitchen knife and he asks what he did. She asks him what he did. She tells him to back up, grabs her bag, and leaves. Brad keeps yelling, what’s happening? and holds a paper towel to his head.

Lushion is still at the hospital with Natalie. Esperanza dashes in and Lushion tells her Joey was in a shootout with some thug. He’s going to get something to calm Natalie down. Natalie tells Esperanza the hospital isn’t telling her anything. She says they’re trying to stabilize Joey so they can ship him somewhere else. She says she told him to stay away from the corner. She says Joey had a gun and violated his probation, so if he recovers, he’s going to jail. Esperanza tells her it’s going to be okay. Natalie says it’s not, and Joey’s father should be helping her. Joey is a man-child whose been raised in the ghetto. She says she tried, but she couldn’t do it. She starts to freak out and Lushion comes running over. He gives her something from the nurse, but she says she doesn’t want to be numb, she wants to be angry. Pulling herself together, she says she was so young when she got pregnant and made so many mistakes. Things she would never do with the other kids, and she wishes she knew then what she knows now. You and me both, sista.

She goes on about the things she tried to teach Joey. She says she was worried about him being shot by a policeman like Eddie, but he was shot by a thug on the block. She tells Lushion she’s tired. He says he’s there and gives her the medication. He says he knows she’s tired and angry, but he’s there, so lean on him. Natalie tells him to promise Joey will pull through. Lushion says he promises they love him and that they’ll pray for him. He promises that Joey has a fight in him that he got from her, and he loves the both of them. He promises no matter what happens, he’ll be there for them. Lushion is the best. Natalie takes the medication. He wipes the tears from her face. Esperanza thanks him for being the man that he is. She has to leave, but says she’ll be back. She tells Lushion she’ll text him about some other stuff later. Damn. They almost had me crying.

Scumbag Eddie goes to Ben’s desk and asks him if he went through the database. Ben says if Eddie doesn’t think he did a good job, go look for himself. Eddie says Ben f-ed up and I go, wait a second, can you say that on this station? Or did someone just f-up? Eddie grabs Ben’s injured hand and tells him to look again. Ben says Andrew is watching everything. Eddie says he’s got this and tells Andrew to get over here. He says Andrew has a call. Andrew says no he doesn’t. Eddie tells him to look at his monitor. He points out some bogus thing on Ben’s monitor. He asks if Andrew is cut out for this job, since he didn’t notice it.

Andrew leaves and Eddie tells Ben to get back in there. Eddie tells him to watch his mouth and Ben gets snarky, saluting him and calling him the boss. I laugh.

Kelly lingers on the sidewalk outside her house. Marcie runs up and asks what’s happening. Kelly says Louise was hurt, the baby is missing, and Louise said it was Brad. Marcie can’t believe it and Kelly tells her to talk to the police. Kelly calls Steven over and introduces them. Marcie asks where Randal is, but Steven says they don’t know. He shows her a picture of Alex and Randal and he asks if it’s a recent photo. Marcie says yes, and he talks about the “it’s a boy” sign and the light bulb comes on over his head. He starts asking Marcie where she was, and she says she wants to know what’s going on. Kelly asks what he’s trying to pull and he says he was just asking questions. He tells Marcie that according to her mother-in-law, Brad beat Louise up and kidnapped the baby. He asks Marcie if this is something Brad could do and she says she doesn’t know. He asks if she knows where Brad is and she hesitates, but tells Steven he’s at the apartment that they share together and gives him the address. He asks for permission to search and she gives it. She says Brad came in about an hour ago and she hasn’t seen him all day. She asks if Randal is going to be all right and Steven says he doesn’t know.

Kelly asks Marcie if she thinks Brad could have done this, but she doesn’t know what to think. Kelly needs to go back to Alex’s house because the kids are there. Marcie doesn’t want to because she blames Alex for all this

The nurse wheels Pete past Lushion and he asks where they’re taking him. She says they’re going to a more secure part of the hospital. Lushion asks if Pete remembers anything and tells him he got shot. Pete asks by who, but Lushion was hoping Pete could tell him. Pete says he can’t remember. Lushion asks if he remembers anything, but the nurse tells him to back off a little. Pete starts to cry and Lushion says he’s looking good and he’ll see him later. Hmm…moving him. That could be good or bad. Natalie remembers Pete giving her the bag and asks if he’s going to be okay, but Lushion says Joey is their main focus.

Brad throws away the bloody paper towels. His phone is ringing. He doesn’t answer and puts it in his pocket.

Eddie arrives at Brad’s house. The officer says it’s pretty bad and Eddie asks if there are any bodies. The officer says they took an old lady to the hospital. Steven asks what he’s doing there and Eddie says checking out the crime scene and enjoying it, which Steven finds really weird. Eddie says the guy who once tried to sue the department lives here, and Steven tells him all the more reason to get out. He tells Eddie not to touch anything and Eddie touches stuff deliberately because he’s five. Steven says outranks Eddie and Eddie says think about how he got his rank. They go back and forth for a while. Steven makes a crack about ladies underwear and tells Eddie not to test his patience. He finally gives Eddie the bum’s rush out the door. How this guy doesn’t get a smack across the face every five minutes is beyond me.

Esperanza asks Eddie what he’s doing there. He says the primary care giver of his child isn’t home and his daughter is in a house next to a crime scene. Esperanza is like, oh, now Eddie wants to be a father. She tells Steven he’s Eddie’s boss and tell him to get out. Steven asks if she can identify some photos for him. She tells Eddie to wipe the stupid smile off his face and he asks if she’s leaving him for Steven because he has the IQ of a rock.

Marcie acts like a two-year-old, getting loud and flinging herself around in Alex’s house. Kelly tells her to knock it off. Marcie says she needs someone to blame. Kelly says give it time and Marcie says she has, but it’s still there and blah-blah-blah Alex slept with her husband. Yeah? Well, your husband is a raging lunatic who deserves to be in the box he’s in right now, so you should thank her. Kelly tells her the kids are there and Marcie says she doesn’t care about Alex’s kids. Kelly tells her that her son is there too, and to calm down or leave.

Travis calls Kelly. He leaves a voicemail saying she’s ignoring him and he doesn’t like being made a fool of. He doesn’t like the position she’s put him in. Being a stalker?

Kelly ignores the call. Marcie asks who it is and Kelly says nothing important. Travis calls again and says she thinks he’s some kind of kid that she can ignore. He says he’s going to keep calling and calling and calling until she picks up. He calls her a selfish and inconsiderate bitch. He immediately calls back, saying he doesn’t know why he did that, he’s sorry, and please call him back. Then he calls again and says he hates her. He keeps calling like he’s two different people. He asks if he can come by and see Justice. He asks if she’s with the guy next door. He crys, he yells, he has fantasies about being with her, he apologizes.

Marcie says someone is really trying to get in touch with Kelly. She says she doesn’t want to talk to them. Marcie asks if it’s Alex and she says no. Marcie says Alex had everything and had to come looking in her backyard. Kelly says it takes two and Marcie says it takes four, because she and Brad didn’t know. Kelly says now you know, and Marcie gets pissed, asking how she can be so nonchalant. Kelly says she’s not going to be in the middle anymore and she just wants to make sure the baby is safe.

Marcie asks what about Randal, and Kelly says him too. Marcie says Kelly doesn’t care. Kelly says she does, but what’s obvious is that Marcie cares more than she’s letting on. Marcie says she still loves Randal and starts to cry. Kelly says he’s her husband and of course she loves him. Marcie says she hopes he’s somewhere getting his ass kicked for what he did, but part of her hopes he’s okay. Seriously, he’s full-blown batsh*t crazy. Just move on. And not with Brad either.

Kelly says she noticed the look on Marcie’s face when Steven was asking her questions, and asks if she thinks Brad did this. Marcie says she doesn’t see it. Kelly says he was in the military and almost ripped Randal to shreds. Marcie wonders how she can be sure about any man. Randal made her doubt everything. Kelly asks her again and she says she doesn’t know. Kelly asks why she has that look then. Marcie says she saw mud on Brad’s shoes and what he told her didn’t sound true. She says the mud was red and there isn’t any red dirt where he said he was. Kelly says they have to tell the police. Marcie says what if she’s wrong, or worse, what if she’s right? Kelly insists, taking Marcie by the hand and bringing her outside.

Alex is driving while trying to use her phone and crying. She gets through to Brad. She says she needs him. He asks if the kids are okay. She says yes. He says don’t call him for anything else and hangs up. She calls again, but gets voicemail. She’s crying hysterically and continues to call. Suddenly, a deer is in front of the car. She swerves and crashes into a tree. To add insult to injury, a tree branch falls on the car.

Next time, Joey is in surgery, Brad talks to Eddie, Julius tempts Ben, and Kelly tells Esperanza about Travis.

Below Deck

Everyone has recovered from the 12-course tasting menu. Nico says Sierra broke down last night and is thinking of leaving. Kelley says she has to realize that Ben in the kitchen is brutal. Ben admits he was intense. Kate suggests he take Sierra aside and tell her she did a great job.

Sierra calls her mother, telling her how she flipped out because she was overwhelmed. In her interview, she claims to be thick-skinned, but needs positivity, which really isn’t even a word. And I think she folded pretty easily, besides not being totally on top of things.

Ben catches Sierra in the laundry room and asks if they’re cool. She says they are, but doesn’t really look at him and concentrates on ironing. Lauren says she has a crush on Nico and thinks they’re flirting, but we know he’s in competition with Kelley for Emily’s attention. Kate is thrilled to have two stews that actually work, and gives them swimming time while the guests are ashore.

Two of the guests, the bald guy and the less bald guy, want to have a push up contest and they ask for bikini wax. I guess the loser gets waxed? The less bald guy wins and agrees to get some of his back waxed too. Kate gives instructions on how to do it and one of their companions does the honors. It looks pretty painful. Holy! Less bald guy is like a gorilla, he has so much hair. Drunk old guy asks to see Emily’s “V” and he doesn’t mean the 1980’s show. That’s so disgusting, I can’t even, but she takes it in stride.

Another amazing meal is produced by Chef Ben. When Kate serves the wine, she tells the guests they can try other options and even more drunk old guy says he’ll try her too. WTF? She can’t wait for them to leave. Ben thinks it’s an easy evening. No 12-course dinner and no tears in the galley.

The girls laugh about the wax strips of hair. Kate irons it (?) and they’re going to present it to the guests (??). Ben tells her to do it after the tip. It’s time to dock and Nico says the guy on the dock is moving like a turtle. Captain Lee swears the docks are getting smaller.

Kate presents bald guy with the wax art. It’s been made into a poster on dowel rods. Asian guy gives Captain Lee the tip. It looks like a brown bag lunch and I hope there’s money in it and not back hair.

Captain Lee asks if the interior is doing better. He says everyone must have done well, because it’s $20,000, split ten ways, thanks to Trevor. Captain Lee says everyone can go out tonight. In her interview, Kate says she doesn’t know what’s going on between Lauren and Nico, but she believes Nico is thinking friend zone and Lauren didn’t get the memo.

The next primaries are Mark and Heidi, with two daughters each from previous marriages. Nothing to see here, no weirdos. There’s also a new deckhand coming. The captain says he’s kind of green.

Kate and Ben discuss the difference between “love you” and “I love you.” Everyone gets ready to go out. Lauren seems miffed that Nico is flirting with Emily on the boat to the mainland. The crew goes to a really nice cafe and piano bar. The drinking commences. Nico notices that something is up with Lauren, but he’s too stupid to know what, so she ignores him. After dinner Kate suggests they go make bad decisions.

Nico asks Ben about Lauren and Ben says obviously she likes him, but it will blow over. Lauren talks to Kelley on the way to the club or whatever it is. Emily thinks Nico is an interesting character and attractive. Lauren is stumbling around the beach and Kelley sends Nico out to look after her. She blows him off. Kelley claims sake gives you a clean hangover, whatever that means. Lauren tells Nico she can’t talk to him right now. Kelley takes the opportunity to tell Emily that Nico has a girlfriend, whether he does or not.

Back at the Valor, everyone heads to bed. Nico tries to hit on Sierra, but it’s a no, and I think she has hiccups. She tells Kate he tried to kiss her, which she finds hysterically funny. Nico moves on to Emily and tells her he thinks she’s attractive. Emily says he has a girlfriend and she’s not like that. He says it was months ago and she says not according to Kelley, and she’s going to bed, but not with him.

Nico wakes up alone and with his clothes still on. Emily and Sierra compare notes on Nico. Sierra says she thought he was getting on with Lauren. Nico tells Kelley he cares about Lauren, but not that way. In his interview, Kelley says no matter how much you think a girl is “a bro,” she’s not. Girls catch feelings. Very astute of him.

New deckhand Kyle arrives. We need subtitles because his British accent is so thick. Captain Lee has Kelley get him settled in. In his interview, Kyle says yachting is a better choice than the fishing trawlers he was on – there’s women on the boat and it’s not deadly. Ben says he can barely understand Kyle and he’s from England. Kyle meets everyone. Nico apologizes to Emily, saying he was a little drunk. She tells him it wasn’t cool to try to get with the easiest girl, but asks how his head is.

Nico thinks things are weird between him and Lauren and they need to fix it. Kate thinks no matter what, these guests will be better than the last group. Kelley wants Lauren to make a list of all the water toys with Nico, and the girls tell her how he tried to kiss both of them. Lauren says he’s not the guy she thought he was.

Nico asks if everything is all right between him and Lauren. He says he was super drunk and says the “we were all drunk” thing that I hate. No, it was you that was insensitive in the first place. He says she was ignoring him, but she says they’re cool and she’ll get over it. Everyone gets ready for the next guests.

Kate does the tour. I love this boat. Kyle is working out well and Kelley is happy. The guests are easy-going and not very demanding. Kyle says Sierra has the Alaskan face and he’s a Viking. What?

Ben is going to truffle-ize the hell out of the potato salad, which sounds scary. Lunch is served and it’s time to set up the water toys. Kate is surprised the parents are letting their daughters drink so much. She’d like them to remember their vacation, and decides to lighten the drinks.

Kyle has been helping with the water toys and suddenly dislocates his shoulder. That was quick.

Next time, Kate’s girlfriend Ro arrives, Kyle hits on Emily, Kate’s concerned about the guests’ alcohol consumption (and rightly so), and Captain Lee has it out with Kelley over some dirty windows.

September 27, 2016 – GH’s Morgan is a Cheat, ILYIW’s Julius is Back on the Street & a Below Deck Guest Doesn’t Like to Eat

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Tracy tells Dillon it might help Paul if he could see his daughter. Dillon can’t believe after all Paul has done, Tracy wants to help him. Paul strolls into the house, uninvited, saying he comes in peace. Does no one lock their doors in Port Charles? He thanks Tracy for being understanding, and she says she realizes it’s about Susan.

Morgan tries to work on his paper, but he can’t think. He reminds me of Jefferson in 1776, trying to write the Declaration while his mind is on his wife. Kiki comes by and asks if he’s almost done.

Franco has to meet with his accountant and tells Elizabeth he’ll see her later. He’s really visiting Heather.

Elizabeth’s doorbell rings. It’s her sister, aka Hayden. She asks if Elizabeth is disappointed that she’s not in prison.

Julian tells Alexis he’s surprised she didn’t change the locks. She says she didn’t think he’d have the audacity to just walk in. Why not? He tries to talk to her, but she tells him the law is on her side. She says he tried to kill her once before and she won’t think twice about killing him now. Okay, I just have to say this. The least he could have done after letting himself in, is not leave the door wide open.

Morgan says he got lucky. The professor had a personal issue and gave an extension.

Elizabeth invites Hayden in, saying she’s glad she’s free. She says she didn’t know all the facts and once she found out everything, it was too late. Does she even realize how bad that makes her sound? Hayden explains about her mother taking the rap for her. Elizabeth apologizes and says she didn’t mean to make all this trouble. She hopes they can move forward. She tells Hayden about her other sister, Sarah, and that she lives in CA, and how she hardly gets to see her. She says maybe she and Hayden could figure out a way to be sisters. Hayden says she’s not there for a reunion, but to give her something. She hands Elizabeth a paper.

Heather talks about Franco forcing her to tell him that Hayden and Elizabeth are sisters, and now her income stream is destroyed. She says the Bank of Heather is closed. Franco says he had to tell them because of the GH killer.

Tracy says it’s only natural after what happened that Paul would think of his own child and how easy it is to lose someone you love. Paul makes up stuff about why Sabrrrina’s death hit him hard and says the best way to handle it is to stay on top of the case. He wonders about Dante’s lead and wants to interview Monica himself.

Alexis tells Julian to get out. He says he understands why she feels the way she does, and says he never would have killed her because he loves her. He says no matter how much she betrayed him, he never wanted to scare her like that. But you are, Blanche! You are in that chair. Sorry. Alexis isn’t having any, so Julian says he’ll be going now. He wants to give her something before he leaves. It must be gifting day.

Elizabeth opens Hayden’s attorney bill. Hayden says she’s a widow with no spousal support and her only back-up was the diamonds. She says she needs to save her mother and the least Elizabeth can do is provide the funds.

Franco explains to Heather about the blood transfusion and how he was forced to tell the secret. He says he’s going through a financial crisis himself and he needs her to go back to her nest egg. For some reason, Heather thinks Franco pushed Elizabeth down the stairs.

Tracy says Monica’s doctors were specific and Monica needs rest. Tracy says the only thing Monica remembers is the killer’s cologne, and that she’s smelled it in the house. Paul says he’ll be going now, and Tracy asks him to consider talking to Susan. He says he’ll think about it. As soon as Paul is gone, Tracy tells Dillon they have to find Susan.

Kiki wants to read Morgan’s paper. He asks if she doesn’t trust him. She says she just wants to help, and he asks her if she thinks he’s going to fail.

Julian gives Alexis the signed divorce papers. She says to put them on the table. He asks what exactly happened at the trial and why she blew her testimony. He says she knew what the jury wanted to hear, but she couldn’t get a coherent word out. He asks if it was because of him, and she tells him it was because of having to look at his stupid face. He asks if she did it on purpose to save him.

Elizabeth tells Hayden that she lives paycheck to paycheck. Hayden suggests they call Jeff together, and maybe he can help her.

Franco tells Heather he’d never hurt Elizabeth and wonders how she could think that. She tells him to admit that removing the tumor didn’t change anything. He says he didn’t kill anyone.

Kiki says she’s concerned that Morgan is putting too much pressure on himself. He says everyone has stress and it’s how you manage it that counts. She apologizes for hovering and he says don’t apologize for caring. He wants her to be proud of him. She says she is.

Dillon thinks calling Susan is a bad idea, but Tracy tells him to just encourage her to call. He says maybe she’s right and that after the trial, Paul was pretty dejected. Tracy has the number for Susan’s store in the phone and tells him to push call. He gets voicemail.

Paul goes to a hospital bearing flowers and a gift. He gives the nurse some candy and she tells him that Susan is waiting. He goes into her room. Susan seems pretty out of it. He tells her hello.

Morgan tells Kiki he’s on the last paragraph. She says they’ll celebrate later by eating something fried and delicious. She leaves and Morgan checks the spyder-finder search engine for where to buy a paper. He takes out his credit card.

Heather says she understands everything about Franco and he tells her she’s way off base. She says you need conflict to create and he should let the darkness inside of him out. He says he was exonerated and he’s completely innocent. She says she was so sure he did it.

Hayden says it’s time to let Jeff know she’s his daughter. Elizabeth says he does humanitarian work and doesn’t have money. She says Hayden chose to chase money more than anything else, and it’s time for her to get a job. Hayden says she had a job at ELQ, but Tracy got rid of her, and since she was raised by Raymond Berlin, no one will ever hire her again.

Tracy answers Dillon’s phone thinking it might be Susan. She finds out Susan sold the shop and she asks if there’s a forwarding address. She writes something down. She says she knows that place and wonders how Susan ended up there.

Paul puts the flowers in water and takes a trip down Memory Lane. There’s no response from Susan who just hugs her pillow. He says he got her something else. He tells her that he didn’t succeed in getting her all the presents he wanted to, but managed to get most of them. Susan runs to her bed and hugs her knees.

Alexis tells Julian what a twit he is. He says her subconscious wouldn’t let her help convict him. She says she hates him with every fiber in her being, and there was nothing in her subconscious that was otherwise. Julian says she wants to believe she hates him, but he believes what happened in the courtroom was fate. He says the way they loved each other doesn’t just stop. He says in order for him to keep going, he needs to trust they’ll be together again. She tells him to do what he has to and she’ll do what she has to. She calls the police. She wants the paperwork for a restraining order and wants Julian to never be near her.

Kiki returns. Morgan says he’s done with his paper. She tells him that she got them tickets to see Hypothermia. He says the tickets are sold out and expensive, and that he doesn’t deserve her. She says it’s for both of them because she loves the band and they need a night of fun. He says she doesn’t understand, but then Dillon interrupts. Kiki tells Dillon about Morgan going back to school and just having done his first paper. Dillon asks if the college is still using a website called TurnInYourWork.com. When Morgan says they are, he says it’s to find out if the students are cheating.

Hayden sees that Elizabeth has a private nurse and says she thought Elizabeth was destitute. Elizabeth tells her that Franco paid for it and if Hayden ever needs a blood transfusion, she’ll give blood and they’ll be even. She suggests that Hayden find a rich man like her mother did, and sister or not, she has nothing but contempt for people like her. Hayden walks out. That was pretty nasty. This is why I don’t like Elizabeth. She’s no saint from like, five minutes ago, yet she looks down her nose at her sister, who is obviously desperate.

Franco tells Heather it hurts his feeling that she’d think he was the killer. She asks if he blames her, considering his past. She says she loves him and wants the best for him and he needs to be his own man. She says he can paint full time now and take the setback as an opporunity to make her feel proud of everything she’s sacrificed.

Paul says he didn’t mean to scare Susan. It breaks his heart that he can’t hold her hand or touch her. He says he doesn’t know why shes like this, but when she sees what he’s given her, it might help her find her way back. He made a lsit of the people who hurt her, starting with Kyle Sloane, Dr. Mays who mishandled her rape kit, and the rest. (Here on Gilligan’s Isle!) He lists the people he’s killed and says they’re all gone. He got rid of them and the world is safe, so she can come back. It’s time.

Alexis finishes her call and asks Julian why he’s still there. He says no matter how much distance she puts between them, they’ll always have Paris be connected. He tells her good-by – for now. Moron. He leaves and Alexis can’t drink her wine fast enough.

Franco asks Elizabeth how her alone time was. She tells him Hayden came by, but all she wanted was a hand out. She says she doesn’t know what she’d do without him. She wants to take a nap, so he helps her up. She asks why he’s going so far out of his way for her. He says he’d do anything for her, even being a better person who deserves to be with her. Bleh.

Kiki tells Dillon she never heard of the website. He says once paper is turned it, it goes through databases to see if anything was copied or if the student bought the paper. Uh-oh, Morgan.

Hayden looks for jobs.

Franco tries to get his credit card limit raised.

Paul lights the candles on Susan’s cake. He says whatever she desires, blow out candles and he’ll make it happen. He asks her to come back, saying he got rid of them all for her, that justice has been served, and no one will come after her again. She sits and just stares ahead. He begs her to come back and starts to cry. He blows out the candles himself.

Tracy is outside the door and she’s overheard.

That was a really nice scene. That’s what soap opera is all about.

Tomorrow, Claudette needs to talk to Griff (what else is new?), Anna is back, and Maxie tells Nathan that Claudette has been lying the whole time (that’s not new either).

If Loving You is Wrong

No doubt Louise is dead, since everyone keeps wandering around instead of helping her, and the police are taking their sweet time getting there.

Kelly sees a body that’s not moving in Randal’s house. Esperanza tells her to check for a pulse. Kelly wonders if the person is still in the house, but Esperanza says Alex was already there and said they’d left. Kelly is like, how does she know that? and I’m with her. It’s not like she checked upstairs. I can’t believe a 911 operator would try to get a civilian involved like this.

Kelly checks on the kids. She tells Esperanza she feels sick and wonders what’s taking the police so long. She hears sirens, but only sees that idiot, Travis, outside. Don’t tell me he’s going to get arrested for this. I’d laugh my head off. The police finally pull up. They approach the house, which is dark all of a sudden. Um…the lights were on two minutes ago. Continuity, people! Yep, looks like Louise is dead. No, wait, there’s a pulse. The EMTs get her into the ambulance.

Steven goes next door to talk to Kelly. He asks what she saw. She says she didn’t see anything, and that Esperanza had called her to check on things. She asks if Louise is going to be okay and Steven says, hopefully. He asks if she went into the house or stepped in the blood. She says no, but he asks to take a photo of her shoe just in case. He acts all concerned about her welfare, but Kelly says she’s just shaken up. He asks if she heard anything, but she says no. He asks how she knew Louise, and Kelly says they just met once or twice and asks again if she’s going to be okay.

Steven asks if she knows Brad. She says yes and tells him which house is Brad’s. He says he has reason to believe Brad is involved and Kelly is like, no way. Steven says way; Louise whispered that he did this. She tells him that Brad moved, and he asks if she would call him. Right now. She dials the phone. Do we still call it dialing?

Joey is wheeled into the ER. Natalie is right behind him and a nurse steers her to paperwork. They ask if he has insurance and she says no. The clerk tells her she’ll be right back. Lushion comes in and tells Natalie it’s going to be okay. She says they won’t give Joey good care, and tells him about the insurance question. Lushion goes with her to talk to the nurse, who says they’ll know something shortly. Natalie asks why the clerk stopped taking her information. The nurse says Joey can’t leave until he’s stabilized. Lushion asks if he’s going to be taken to a county hospital and she says it’s been known to happen. Lushion tells her that they can pay. Natalie is beside herself, but he tells her again that it will be okay.

Julius asks Ben about his hand. He asks if it hurts. He wants more information, which puzzles me. Ben says he hates Andrew. Julius asks if he wants to kill him or at least shoot his fingers off. Julius says he thinks he should and he can. Ben asks how, and Julius says they should hang out; he could use a man in blue. Ben says if Eddie finds out… but Julius stops him. He says Eddie is a street dog, but Ben can be prime and work for him. He says they’ll talk later, but for now he needs to prove his loyalty. He tells Ben to give him his phone and he’ll put his number in for Ben to call later. He tells Ben to keep under the radar.

Eddie comes into the station and asks Esperanza what she’s doing there. She says working. He asks about his daughter and she says she’s the primary care giver, so don’t worry about it. He tells her to get her primary ass home. Esperanza says she’s at Kelly’s and Eddie makes a racist comment. She says he doesn’t get to talk to her about night shift or anything else anymore. She tells him his days are numbered and she needs to make sure she’s good when he goes down. He asks if that’s an invitation. Ew! She tells him he disgusts her. He says maybe, but she always comes back. She gets up and he grabs her arm. She tells him not to touch her and smacks him. She asks where his girlfriend, Claudia, is. She asks him to leave. He says he knows what she’s worried about and Joey will be fine. She says first Alex now this. He asks what happened and she tells him to look at the board.

Kelly’s ex calls. Um…he’s calling from prison. The call doesn’t just connect. Oh, his mother has set up a three-way call. He asks how Kelly is doing. His mother says Kelly doesn’t want to talk to him and he says she will if his mother lets her. Kelly says she’s there and his mother berates her for not visiting. The ex says she’s been raising his son and his mother gripes about not seeing him. His mother says Kelly is fine because he’s locked up for something she did. He tells Kelly he’ll call her back and his mother says he’s a damn fool because she’s not going to answer.

She answers. But then she hangs up.

Eddie asks Ben how things are going. Julius asks Eddie wazzup. Eddie asks what he’s doing there. Julius says one of his rookies arrested him for drunk driving and points out Andrew. Eddie lets him out of the cell because they’re as lax as they are on GH. Andrew says Julius needs to take a breathalyzer. Ben tells him to get lost and Andrew says he’s reporting this to the captain. Ben says he’s signing his death warrant. Julius asks what happened to Ben’s hand and says the job has many hazards. What the blip is with Julius’s obsession with Ben’s hand?

Julius asks Eddie about his plan. He says, one down, two to go. He tells Julius that Quan is down, but Julius says he wasn’t on the list. Eddie says he got caught in a drive-by. Julius asks about Claudia. Eddie says he’s working on it. Julius says he had some Cubans in the car when he was arrested. Feel free to make your own joke here. Eddie asks Andrew about it and Andrew says it’s contraband. Eddie says go get them. When he returns, Julius says he doesn’t like Andrew and gives Eddie a cigar. He tells Andrew to keep doing things by the book and leaves. Andrew stares at Eddie who asks Ben where his damn coffee is.

It’s Randal in a box! He says he can’t breath. Something gets poured on him and he starts yelling no, no, no, no, no. Is it gasoline?

Ben sees Julius outside. He’s waiting for his car to come out of impound. Julius offers Ben a cigar. Julius tells him to enjoy it and says he works too hard. Ben says he admires Julius and that his father is a legend. Ben offers his condolences. Julius says thanks, but it’s his turn now, and he’s doing things differently. Ben asks why here in Maxine? He says it’s such a small town; he’d be in Miami. Julius says maybe they should go. Ben says he’ll do anything for Julius. Julius says when his car gets there, they should go for a ride. Ben says he’s still on duty, but Julius offers him some pure Colombian. I wonder if they’re talking about weed or coke, but Ben is so excited, I assume the latter. Julius says he owes him one. Ben says he can’t leave though, because Eddie is watching. Julius says Ben has his number. Yeah, me too.

Alex drives around crying and trying to use her phone. She calls her mother. She asks where her baby is. She says she knows that her mother took him. She  saw her in the truck and her mother acts ignorant, saying she doesn’t know what Alex is talking about. Alex says she’ll call the police, and her mother asks if she’s drunk. Alex begs her mother not to do this. Her mother says if someone took her bastard maybe it’s for the best. Her mother acts like the phone is going out and hangs up.

Brad tells Marcie she’s playing hard-to-get. She asks if his phone was ringing, but he says it’s no one he wants to talk to. She asks if he’s been drinking, and he says not as much as he’d like. He tries to kiss her and she tells him to back up. He asks her to sit and talk. He asks if you can love someone too much, and she says it depends on the person. You can’t love someone too much who loves you the same way. He says every day he feels fine and then something reminds him of Alex and he feels the pain. He wants it to be done. It makes him feel stupid and sad. He says usually he can detach emotion from the relationship. Marcie asks what changed, and he says a girl named Alex. He says they have two kids together and he’ll have to see her. Marcie says to give it time. Her phone rings, but she doesn’t answer. She says a phone ringing late at night is never good news.

Marcie tells Brad that it’s Kelly and he says she’s been calling him too. Marcie answers and Kelly asks if she knows where Brad is. Marcie says no. Kelly tells her the police are there. She says that the baby is missing, Randal is gone, and Louise is hurt and told the police Brad did it. The police want to talk to him. Marcie says she doesn’t know where he is. Steven wants to talk to Marcie.

Steven asks Marcie if she knows where Brad is. He says he’s heard they share an apartment. She wants to get off the phone and he tells her her life could be in danger. She says she’ll call him back. He asks if Brad is there and that’s why she can’t talk. She says thank you and hangs up. Steven asks Kelly if she knows where they live. She doesn’t say anything, so he asks for a trace on the cell phone. He thanks Kelly and goes back to the car. Kelly has a headache.

Marcie says the mud on Brad’s boots is red and does he want to tell her what’s going on. He grabs her by the throat and I gasp out loud. I was not expecting that.

Next time, Lushion tells Esperanza about the shootout, Eddie threatens Ben, Travis screeches at Kelly, and Alex gets in an accident.

Below Deck

Ben tells Trevor he’s sh*tfaced. Trevor calls him a jackass and insults everyone. The crew heads back to the bus or trolley car or whatever it is, and Trevor continues to act idiotic. Kelley tells him to settle down and Trevor says he has a PTSD Marine for a bosun. Trevor jumps out of the car, wanting to fight Nico, and everyone tries to get him to calm down. Kelley says he can stay at a hotel room tonight, but Trevor says he doesn’t give a flying and continues to insult the Marine Corps. Ben tells Kelley that Trevor is a wanker and it has nothing to do with him.

The next morning, everyone either has a headache or is still half-drunk. Captain Lee is looking for his radio and Kate suggests he use Trevor’s since he’s not on the boat. Kate invites the captain to have cereal and talk. She fills him in a little, but says it’s best if Kelley tells him how things ended. He radios Kelley to come to the wheelhouse.

The captain asks for a synopsis. Kelley says Trevor got wasted, hassled Ben, and on the way back, spoiled for a fight. The captain wants to get everyone’s take on it. Lauren is next. He asks about her eventful evening. We see everyone talking to the captain and they all say the same thing. Trevor was a drunken idiot. The captain says he’ll deal with it in one way or another.

Ben asks Kate if Trevor should be fired. She says yes, because he doesn’t learn, but Ben thinks he should have another chance.

Trevor gets back and Kelley tells him to talk to the captain. He tells Captain Lee that everything was fine until the bus, and then the crew made fun of him for being a hair model. The look on the captain’s face is priceless. Trevor says he’s still in the learning process and he needs guidance in how to talk to people without coming off brash. Um… stop talking altogether? The captain calls Kelley in. In his interview, the captain says once is an accident, twice is a pattern, and he believes there will be a third time. He can’t afford to babysit, and thinks this isn’t the place for Trevor. He says says Trevor can leave nice and make apologies if he needs to. In his interview, Trevor asks where his apology is. Ben says it’s tough to be forgiven twice in the yachting profession. Nico thanks God. Trevor says it will be tough to replace him. Kate says we all have to hit rock bottom before we can make good life changes. Well, some of us apparently.

Trevor apologizes to Kelley and Ben, but not to Nico. Nico says he doesn’t know whether Trevor was embarrassed or just being a d*ck. I vote for the latter. Kelley tells the captain he feels like he failed a little, but it will be smoother without Trevor. Nico is happy to get the top bunk back. Sierra says Trevor never did anything to her, but there was definitely a negative vibe on the boat.

It’s time to go over the new charter guests. A group of entrepreneurs and something about an internet company. They want to explore and have a beach bar. The captain points out that one of the guests likes to eat nothing but air. No meat, dairy, gluten, fat, wheat, seafood (except for fish – I don’t know what that means) and no food whatsoever. The guests want a formal dinner on the first night with a 12-course tasting menu. Ben is thrilled. Nico says he’s already looking forward to them leaving.

Kate video chats with her girlfriend, Ro. The wifi is so inferior, she’s thinking of wrapping a coat hanger in tin foil. Google it if you’re too young to understand the reference.

Sierra tells Kate that she used to have a juicing business, but she ran out of money and turned to yachting. She wants to go back to it eventually though. She offers to help Ben with the menu. He says she and the guest are a match made in gluten-free heaven. She does a tricep workout with some cans.

Trevor gives instructions to the deckhands and tells Nico the hot tub has to be drained.

Sierra has a problem with the juicer. Kelley points out that it’s not plugged in. I think there was a reason she couldn’t make money with her juicing business.

The guests arrive. Kate gives the boat tour. She says she’s getting a strange vibe, and they’re like something from a D-list Tarantino picture. The captain says the boat is under-powered, the wind is going in one direction, and the tide in another. Not the best conditions. Somehow, they still manage to get away from the dock.

Uh-oh. The hot tub is awfully full. Bald guy guest says they’re making more money just sitting around than most people make in a year, and I hope it overflows onto his bald head. Ben gets lunch ready so he can prepare for dinner. Bald guy suggests he’ll hook up with Emily if his wife dies. Kate thinks she’ll probably commit suicide being married to him. There goes the hot tub.

Nico sees water coming from everywhere. Sierra makes lemonade that Ben thinks is awful. He hopes her culinary skills are better than her juicing skills. Only if she turns the appliances on. Nico calls Kelley to help with the hot tub. He says if it had to happen, it’s the best time since the guests are eating.

The captain tells Kelley to break out every toy they have. The deckhands pull out the inflatable stuff and the pool. I don’t get the pool thing. It’s basically a huge fish net that you swim in. The idea is that no sea life touches you. I would think part of it would be swimming with the fishes. Captain Lee jokes about how much hair bald guy has on his back. Sierra asks what to expect from a 12-course meal and Ben says, chaos. Kate says it might cause her to cry. Ben suggests a salad for the gluten free Carolina. Kate is concerned that Sierra helping Ben is like sending a bunny into a lion’s den.

Dinner time. They do the table setting with those glass stones again and I love it. Ben says he needs someone who can distinguish clear thoughts in a short amount of time. I predict Sierra is going to have a problem with that. These people seem a like a bunch of weirdos. Ben looks like the Karate Kid in his black outfit and headband.

Nico and Kelley talk about the girls. They think Sierra is pretty, but perhaps has a screw loose. Back in the kitchen Sierra still needs to get the salad together. OMG – the caviar whatever-it-is looks fabulous. Sierra says she’s thick-skinned, but needs positivity. The primary’s daughter is with them and he talks inappropriately in front of her. Gluten Free is still waiting for her salad and Ben wonders wtf? He says Sierra has two courses and all she’s doing is making the world’s biggest salad. Gluten Free doesn’t like that since she doesn’t eat anything, she’s missing out on the courses. Sierra goes back to the kitchen and tells Ben to make a conch course for Gluten Free. Oh Lord, they’re only on the third course.

Sierra sears (ha-ha!) the tuna. Ben says it has to be as aesthetically pleasing as the raw tuna and he’s about to give up. Ben tells Sierra the tuna is f*cked and he doesn’t want to serve it. She gets all bummed. Gluten Free doesn’t like raw fish. There is nothing not to like about this tuna. Fat dude is sleepy. Sierra starts to get clumsy in the kitchen. Ben tells Kate she’s making Sierra nervous. Gluten Free claims to not be picky and tries the calamari. Isn’t that seafood??? No one knows what course they’re on at this point. Bald guy picks his nose. I don’t like lamb, but I would eat the dish Ben made anyway.

Trevor says he’s thrown off some hints to Emily that he’s interested, but is getting weird signals back.

The final course is some kind of dessert that I’m sure tastes wonderful. Mmmm…I love spun sugar. By midnight, it’s over. Sierra is all weepy and wants to go home. Kate takes a picture of whatever guests are left with Ben. She thinks it’s genius to have such a long meal, since the guests are ready to go to bed afterward. Kate and Ben tell Sierra that nothing was her fault and not to stress. In his interview, Ben says in the old days you got dishes thrown at you or saucepan to the back of the head, but now he can’t even yell at someone. He says if you’re sensitive, you should stay out of the kitchen. Has Gordon Ramsey taught us nothing?

Next time, Sierra breaks down, a new deckhand arrives, and Nico comes on to Emily.

September 26, 2016 – GH’s Paul Confesses & the OC’s Kelly Stresses

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Sam startles Alexis. They were supposed to meet for lunch, but Alexis didn’t show. She also didn’t go to Sabrrrina’s funeral. Sam says she looks like hell and wonders what’s going on.

Morgan tells Kiki he decided not to go to the funeral. He didn’t trust himself not to lose it again if Joe showed up.

Sonny and Jason talk over coffee. Sonny says whoever took Sabrrrina’s life needs to pay. Jason tells him it’s not his world. This is a serial killer and a different realm. Sonny says Julian will never pay for ordering the hit on Duke and tells Jason that Julian is coming after him.

Paul tells Tracy he killed her. He’s the reason Sabrrrina is dead. Well, I guess I might as well turn this off now. Tracy thinks he’s acting selfishly. She says he feels responsible so he’s making it all about him. No! I should have known this wasn’t going to get wrapped up in a neat little bow so quickly.

Michael comes home to Nell holding a box of family photos. She’s set up a memorial page online for Sabrrrina. She shows Michael that people have already started to post. She knows it doesn’t do anything to assuage the actual grief though, because she’s been there.

Julian acts like a complete a-hole, sitting in Nina’s chair when she comes in. He wants permission to take back what’s his, including the magazine. Nina says she was running things long before he tried to kill his wife – allegedly. She says their agreement hasn’t changed and he says he’s not there to break it. He wants her to clear his name.

Sam says Alexis is in the same clothes as yesterday and she obviously just woke up. She says it’s not the first time she’s seen Alexis like that. She’s hungover and it’s becoming a pattern. Alexis says she’s fine, but Sam counts the wine bottles and says no she isn’t.

Morgan says he doesn’t want to add to Michael’s stress. Kiki says he made a good decision, especially because of Teddy bringing back the old custody issues. Morgan says he has a paper due. Kiki suggests an extension, but he says he’s got this. He leaves and Kiki literally runs into Dillon again.

Paul says Sabrrrina wasn’t’ supposed to be hurt this way. Tracy says she blames the police department and everyone blamed themselves, but the only person to blame is the killer.

Sam is concerned about Alexis’s pattern. Alexis says she’s right, this isn’t her, it’s the new her. She needs Sam to back off so she can figure out how to cope. She tells Sam that it’s temporary. She’s about to start work again.

Nina says Julian was exonerated. He says not guilty does’t change the court of public opinion. He wants to be on the cover of the magazine and give an exclusive with his side of the story. He says she’ll boost circulation and he can defend himself. She says she passes.

Jason says Julian just got acquitted yesterday. Sonny says he was celebrating with Ava already. He tells Jason about meeting Julian, and that Julian told him to watch Morgan because he’s getting into trouble he can’t handle. When Sonny asked if Julian was threatening Morgan, Julian said he’s coming after him. He’s going down, but his death won’t be tied to Julian. Jason asks if Carly knows and Sonny says she was there, but she wants him to leave it alone.

Kiki tells Dillon at least she wasn’t carrying coffee this time. Dillon asks about Morgan and Kiki explains why he didn’t go to the funeral. Dillon says there was a little altercation at the house.

Nell tells Michael that she lost her best friend in high school. She was killed because she got in a car with a drunk driver. One minute they were hanging out, and the next she was gone. Nell says she knows how much the page helped her friend’s parents, but they eventually took the page down. With it went all the memories they’d shared, and she felt the loss all over again. She knew the last thing on Michael’s mind would be old photos. Nell tells him that one day he’ll want to look at the memories and she wanted him to have what she didn’t get.

Tracy says Paul isn’t helping anyone. He says she’s right, and Sabrrrina was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Tracy says she’s never seen him like this. He’s usually emotionless, focused and unflappable. He says it’s hitting close to home and asks to be alone.

Alexis shows Sam a list of law firms. She says she can do consults until she gets her license back. She swears she won’t get drunk again. She says since Sam can’t drink because she’s pregnant, she won’t drink with her.

Nina says Julian isn’t going to be the next Crimson cover girl. She says he wants to use her magazine as a PR outreach and to get back his wife and children. In the meantime, her magazine loses credibility and advertisers. Julian says he was asking out of politeness and now he’s demanding. He owns the magazine and he’s telling her to run the piece. She tells him to have his lawyers give him the definition of autonomy. Nina refuses to run a puff piece on a man who crossed the line with domestic abuse. He urges her to play ball or regret it. She asks if he’s threatening her, and he says he sure is. Julian is the worst.

Jason says he can’t get involved and Sonny should just wait and see what happens. Jason says Julian talks a lot, but doesn’t carry out anything. He had Carrrlos carry out his dirty work and then killed him. He says Julian is a coward and too afraid to make a move against Sonny. Sonny asks if Jason would bet his life, and Jason says he thinks Julian will make a mistake that backfires.

Sonny says he can’t promise how he’ll handle things, and Jason says sorry he can’t help. Sonny sees Morgan working on his laptop. He asks why Morgan didn’t go to the funeral. Morgan says he ran it past Michael and he was fine with it. He says he’s working on a paper right now. Sonny says he has a lot going on, and he doesn’t want Morgan to burn himself out. Morgan says he appreciates Sonny worrying about him, but there are others who need his worrying more.

Kiki tells Dillon that she and Michael have some old stuff, so she thought it best to stay away. She tells Dillon about how she and Morgan tried to make Michael seem incompetent to he’d lose custody of Avery, and Sabrrrina saved the day. She says the perfect Kiki doesn’t exist. Dillon says perfect is boring and he thinks Michael might appreciate her reaching out to him.

Michael thanks Nell for telling him about her friend. She says as someone who’s experienced loss, it helps to share it. He asks if she went into the nursery when she was collecting photos. She says no, and Michael tells her there are pictures that Teddy might want to see one day. She leaves to get them. The doorbell rings. It’s Sonny.

Alexis tells Sam not to worry and just take care of the baby. She asks to reschedule lunch, because she wants to clean herself up and look for a job. Sam leaves and Alexis immediately chugs a bottle of wine. Not really, but she thinks about it.

Alexis stares at the wine glass and then looks at a picture of her and Sam. She makes a bunch of phone calls, but none of them pan out. When she’s done she says the hell with the shower, she feels like a bath, and brings the wine with her.

Julian says Nina has skeletons in her closet too. He says she wants to move on with her life and certain people are preventing that. He threatens her with budget cuts. She says she has proof he tried to sabotage the magazine. If he wants to reach out to Alexis or the other people he’s destroyed, he’ll do it without her and the magazine’s help. He says working with her again will be interesting.

Sam meets Jason. She says she can tell he’s worried. Jason says her father threatened Sonny and threatening him usually doesn’t end well. Sam doesn’t care what happens to Julian, but asks if Jason is getting involved.

Sonny tells Michael that they always take for granted that he doesn’t need any help, but he knows Michael is hurting and wants him to know he’s not alone. He says sometimes the best thing you can do for someone you care about is to just show up. They hug.

Paul talks to Sabrrrina’s picture. He apologizes and says he hopes it brings her spirit peace that she didn’t die in vain. This is after a couple of people talked to Steve Hardy’s picture last week. Pretty soon, in an effort to save money, they can cut the cast in half and use pictures f0r the other half.

Tracy tells Dillon that as much as funerals are a celebration of life, they’re really a downer for everyone. She tells him that Paul is devastated by Sabrrrina’s death. She says she’s never seen Paul like that and he’s in a bad place. Dillon tells her about how shaken up Paul was when he told him about her murder, like it was personal even though they didn’t know each other that well. Tracy says, OMG, she knows what it is. I’ll bet not. I’ll bet this is just another carrot on a stick.

Morgan peruses his phone. Morgan stares at his laptop. Morgan takes a break.

Kiki sends a message to Michael, thanking him for taking care of her sister.

Tracy thinks Paul feels guilty about the distance between him and Susan, and that Sabrrrina’s death exacerbated that guilt. She suggests that Dillon reach out to her. Dillon says he’ll try. Tracy tells him to ask her to come to Port Charles. She says maybe Paul seeing his daughter is just what he needs.

Paul calls Susan. He leaves a message that her father called, that it will be okay and he’s handling everything. Not too well though.

Nell walks in on Sonny and Michael’s hug. Michael says he’ll be right back and Nell apologizes to Sonny for her bad timing. She compliments him on what good dad he is, and says his kids are lucky to ahve him in their lives. I’d agree with that.

Sam asks Jason if Sonny is going to take action. She says she sees what Julian has done, but doesn’t want his blood on either of their hands. Jason says if Julian keeps pushing, Sonny will have to defend himself.

Drunk Alexis comes downstairs. Her front door is open. Julian is in the living room.

Tomorrow, Alexis complains to Julian, Hayden thinks she and Elizabeth should call Jff together, and Tracy wants to find Susan.

The Real Housewives of the OC

The Beadors find a rental property. Shannon complains about the stove, the floors, and the horrible feng shui. Kelly also lives within walking distance. Shannon says she knows where to go for a cup of tequila. In her interview, Shannon says that David’s mother and sister wanted him to leave her for the woman he had the affair with. Shannon definitely has some issues, but considering the mother complained to total strangers about the whole thing, I’m guessing she must be a real pita.

Eddie and Tamra go out to lunch at a sushi place. It’s five weeks until her competition and Tamra is concerned about the carbs in the sake. Tamra says Eddie and Simon are like night and day. Eddie is supportive no matter what, while Simon was a controlling twit. They talk about how Shannon can go off like a rocket.

Kelly’s husband opens a beer bottle with his teeth. He’s doing some renovation work on the house, but in her interview, she says he does it half-assed. She asks him if their relationship is any better now that he’s retired. She says they’re both control freaks, but Michael insists he isn’t. In her interview, she explains that she’d filed for divorce because she felt like she was being suffocated. Michael says they’re dealing with trying to repair things while dealing with the baggage of the divorce where they were separated for 2½ years. Kelly says she can’t talk to him because he gets upset with everything. She tells him if he just says yes to everything, it will all go a lot more smoothly.

Vicki and son Michael are building an insurance policy behind a charity called Kill All Cancer. It’s a policy so that if someone should get cancer, they can get back on their feet again. It sounds kind of like Aflac. Vicki is going to do some TV ads. We see one she’s done for her insurance company and it makes me think of a funeral home ad. In her interview, Vicki talks about how she got dragged through the mud last year, with Brooks lying about having cancer, and explains the whole Brooks thing to the guys in charge of the charity. The publicity guy says she can have haters, but if she continuously does the next right thing, she should come out on top. I’m not sure if this is actually a charitable act or Vicki is trying to save her reputation.

Meghan checks out the space she and Jim got for their candle making business. Since it’s relatively big, they’re also including other products. She says opening the store is a perfect distraction for her until her next pre-natal appointment where she’ll find out if she’s having twins. I always like to buy a store when I need a distraction.

Kelly and her mother, Bobbi, talk. Her mother talks about how she stuck her marriage out for the kids. Kelly says the two years she and Michael were separated, it was hard for her daughter to bounce back and forth. She tells her mother about what happened with Tamra and how she’s estranged from her daughter now. She wonders what’s better, to stay married and see your kids every day, or end up like Tamra. I’m assuming by the conversation, things aren’t going well with the marriage.

Shannon whines about packing and unpacking. They have to be out in 30 minutes and she’s still getting it together. She says she can’t open another cupboard and find something else. In her interview, she says there have been amazing memories in the house, and we flash back to some of them. And some bad ones. She says there’s a huge piece of her in the house and it’s sad. She’s giving her fourth baby up for adoption. Everyone says good-by to the house.

Tamra has set up a spa day for some of the girls. Vicki arrives first. She just wants to whoop it up and forget about last year. Heather is next. She’s happy for no helmets and safety equipment, only champagne. Kelly rounds out the quartet. They all get in a mud bath and Tamra talks about how David’s mom acted at the kids’ gig. Vicki tells them about how his mother wanted him to stay with his mistress and would invite her to family dinners. Heather adds that the mistress was friends with his sister. No wonder Shannon is a mess. Tamra brings up the mother saying that Shannon pushed him to have an affair. In her interview, Vicki says you don’t have an affair if you’re happily married and it reminds her of what happened with her and Don.

Jim and Meghan go to her doctor’s appointment. The doctor asks if she’s been having any problems, but she says it’s all good except for being a little emotional. A little? They do a sonogram and listen to the baby’s heart. It looks like just one baby. Meghan starts to cry because you can’t please her. Jim tells her it’s okay like ten thousand times. In her interview she says it’s a happy moment, but she feels a huge sense of loss. What is she wearing on her index finger? It looks like a spring. Jim actually acts like a human being and comforts her.

The Beadors arrive at their rental house. There are about ten million boxes in there. I’ve never had to move a 13,000+ square foot house, but I did move into a new apartment when my office was moving at the same time. I dreamed about boxes. David wants a drink immediately. Shannon looks like she’s going to be sick. She takes a selfie out by the water. She’s both stressed and excited to move on.

Meanwhile, back at the spa, the girls get massages. Kelly and Vicki are in the same room and Vicki asks about Kelly’s marriage. Kelly says Michael ignored their anniversary, so she bought a purse and he thought some dude bought it for her. Vicki says she and Don were married almost twenty years and had everything. She says Kelly has to fix it and has to talk to Michael. In her interview, Vicki says she did the wrong thing by bailing. Kelly tells Vicki about Michael telling her to shut up. In the next room, Tamra and Heather can hear her and Tamra says she doesn’t think Kelly is happy in her marriage.

Vicki says it’s never just one person who causes a relationship to fall apart, it’s always two. Tamra talks about Michael being evaluated as a narcissist and how he tried to take her daughter away from her while they were separated. Vicki tells Kelly she’s going down a slippery slope.

The spa girls have lunch and cocktails. Tamra and Heather get to the table first and talk about Meghan’s store opening. Tamra jokes about getting her a candle as a gift. Ha-ha! Vicki and Kelly join them. Tamra asks who was yelling, and Kelly says she was crying and Vicki was giving her advice. I’d cry if I was getting advice from Vicki too. Kelly reveals her marriage isn’t going too well, and talks about Michael ignoring their anniversary. I can totally understand the guy leaving it up to the wife to plan – some guys just aren’t good with that kind of stuff – but to not even get a card is inexcusable. In her interview, Tamra says Kelly’s lashing out makes sense now. Tamra says it will get really bad before it gets better. She says you can’t win with a narcissist. Kelly says her mother thinks they should get a divorce, but she’s not sure what to do.

Shannon and David go out for dinner. David says he understands how difficult it is right now, but ultimately it will be a good move for them. He brings up his mother’s outburst and says Shannon didn’t deserve it. He thinks his mother blames herself for his father’s affairs and tells her she had nothing to do with his mistake. I hate when they use that word “mistake.” It sounds like, oops! I just ended up in bed with someone else for eight months. Shannon says it was the most hurtful thing his mother could have said. She wonders why his mother hasn’t liked her from the jump.

Shannon tells David she wasn’t mad at him, just his mother. David says he texted her that if she’s going to be disrespectful to Shannon, he can’t have her around. Wow. He must love Shannon. In her interview, Shannon says it shows his commitment. Holy! The plate of ribs Shannon ordered is humongous.

This season, Tamra farts on Eddie and loses her nipple cover (not at the same time), Michael gets drunk, Tamra’s competition happens, the ladies take a trip to Dublin (hide the liquor!) and go all Riverdance, there’s a trip to a dairy farm, Kelly calls Tamra a liar, Shannon and Tamra argue with Vicki, and Tamra gets hysterical.

Looks like a great season. 😨