Tag Archives: Bravo

September 5, 2016 – A Lot of Housewives & a Little Z-Nation

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

My excitement can barely be contained – less than two weeks from now, on September 16, Z-Nation returns! If I was forced to pick only one show to feast on, this would be the one. (With maybe a side order of General Hospital.) While I enjoy both Walking Dead programs, Z-Nation has the sense of humor I love with my horror. For lack of a better word, I also think it’s more realistic and feel more investment in the more well-rounded characters. Chances are, the group you’d be running with during the apocalypse wouldn’t all be depressed and/or depressing. There would always be a Murphy or a Doc who didn’t always take everything so seriously. And it’s still just as relentless in excitement. Lots of fun guest stars too, like Anthony Michael Hall and Gina Gershon, both of whom were wonderful. I also have to admit to a TV crush on Citizen Z and Pup. (I recently discovered that DJ Qualls was originally a model for Prada. While I think he’s cute, I was like, whaaat?) The Sy-we-don’t-know-how-to-spell-Fy network had/has a marathon going on today and will probably have another one before the season premiere, so if you have love for the zombie apocalypse and haven’t seen it yet, give it a try.

No GH for us today. Since it’s a holiday, it was also a rerun. Moving on…

The Real Housewives of the OC

Tamra is planning some dune buggy riding during Eddie’s birthday event in Glamis and she’s buying helmets for all the ladies. She calls to see if Meghan is going, but that’s a no due to her pregnancy. Tamra thinks Meghan is being a coward, saying pregnant women run marathons, but I’m with Meghan on this one. Bouncing around in a dune buggy is not the same thing and she’s gone through a lot with the IVF. Tamra says Shannon is acting like she didn’t even get an invite, and she has the feeling Shannon wants to avoid Kelly. She calls Shannon next, telling her about Heather renting an RV. As soon as Tamra tells her who’s coming, suddenly Shannon remembers she has some lung issue where she has to avoid dirt or something. Geez, at least make an effort to create a good story.

Kelly does some shopping for the trip. Her only concern is Heather pointing a judgmental finger at her. She tells her husband about Shannon’s vow renewal and how Vicki wasn’t invited, which she thinks was mean. They look at windbreakers, and Michael makes a typical male joke about breaking wind.

Shannon’s house is finally in escrow, She says it’s been in and out several times, but this time it looks like a go. She’s thinking she won’t be able to pack in the thirteen days before closing. She asks the realtor about more time, but he says that’s not a good idea. I fail to grasp why she hasn’t gotten going on this already. They also have to find a rental, so she gives the realtor her laundry list of wants, which is a lot. Oh no! The rental won’t have crystals buried beneath it like her house does now. How will she survive?

Heather says all she knows about Glamis is that there’s lots of sand and no stores. Horrors! She meets with the RV driver. She was expecting the RV to be like Tom Cruise‘s movie trailer and is disappointed even though it’s got the look of a nice hotel suite. Heather also doesn’t cook, so she’s had her personal chef prepare some dishes. I liked Heather at the beginning, but she’s been working my last nerve this season.

Meghan and Jim have a doctor’s appointment to see if she’s pregnant. She’s glad he’s with her, since he’s been MIA throughout all of the IVF stuff. She says she’s scared to be a mom because she’s Jim’s third wife, and even though he had children with the other two, things didn’t work out. I’m not sure what she’s saying here. That Jim leaves as soon as children are in the picture? I’m laughing because Jim is one of the most emotionless people I’ve ever seen. “Hey, Jim! The house just burned down.” Jim looks at the sky and picks his nose.

The RV picks up Tamra and Kelly. Even though the RV isn’t up to Heather’s expectations, Tamra is impressed, saying she wouldn’t expect anything else from “Fancy Pants.” She’s also concerned about Kelly, who she says is like a rescue dog, who you don’t know whether will lick or bite you. Next, they pick up Vicki.

While on the RV, Kelly suddenly gets nauseous. Vicki has to hold her ears when Kelly throws up, since she’s susceptible to anyone else getting ill. What is wrong with this bunch of wimps? This is the last group who should go camping, or do anything other than stay at a 5-star hotel up to Dubai’s standards. Kelly calls her husband to give him the deets. The driver misses a sign and has to turn around. Tamra thinks Heather should have spent more money on the driver than the vehicle. The ladies sing Kumbaya. This is starting to remind me of the time I took a bus trip through New England with my grandmother and her senior group.

Meghan gets a call from the doctor. Jim yawns and I laugh again. The pregnancy test is positive. He says they’ll do an ultrasound in two weeks. Meghan asks if it could be twins, but the doctor says it’s too early to tell. Jim can barely contain his excitement. Not really.

The camp site is already set up and Eddie is there to greet the ladies. Tamra’s mother is also there and a couple of people I don’t know. Heather introduces her son, Nicky. In her interview, Heather gushes over the place, going on about how beautiful it is and confusing me. While Heather will be staying in the RV, Tamra has rented trailers for everyone else. Vicki goes around showing her grandson, Troy, all the fabulousness via her phone. Sarah, Ryan and their baby also make an appearance. I think Sarah might have another kid there, but at this point, there’s too many kids running around and I can’t keep track of them.

Vicki goes running on the sand dunes. In her interview, Kelly says she’d join Vicki, but Principal Dubrow would probably shake a finger at her. Ha-ha! Oddly enough, it’s Tamra who tells Vicki to get off of the dunes, because there are dune buggies flying around everywhere and they’ll run right over her. Heather scrutinizes Kelly in her interview, saying she seems to be on her best behavior, but it remains to be seen if she keeps her promise. In her interview, Vicki says she’d like to be a princess like Heather, but she’ll probably be working until the day she dies. I find it a little hard to believe that Vicki needs to work until she dies unless she wants to. Or did Brooks took all her savings too?

Meghan and Jim are at their house in a gated country club community. I wonder how many houses they have. I always find the concept of having multiple homes desirable, but it’s probably not as fun as it seems. Shannon and David are meeting up with them to play golf. Because they have so much time on their hands before they move. Shannon says she doesn’t want to pack and is an avoider. An avoider previously lived in my house too. Not only did we have to agree that it not be “broom clean” as stated in the contract and let her park her RV here for two weeks to get her moved out on time, but she was still here when we moved in. You read that right. She was sitting in a folding chair in front of a closet still full of her stuff. My husband’s aunt had a summer home nearby. I told my husband I was going there and having a beer, and when I got back, she’d better be gone. She was. I also have to admit, there were some cool things left here, like a set of Gilbert & Sullivan recordings on 78 rpm albums.

Eddie teaches Nicky how to ride an ATV. Tamra suggests he ask for one for Christmas, along with a personal desert. The ladies get ready for their dune buggy adventure and we see flash backs of Tamra’s terrible driving. Kelly complains about sand in her face and having to pee. You can dress these girls up, but you can’t take them out. Tamra tells her group to hold on and drives like the Tasmanian Devil. And flips the buggy. Nice work.

Heather tells everyoen not to move and calls for the medic. Vicki gets sick and Kelly keeps yelling for the EMT. Both Vicki and Tamra have collars put on them. The dune buggy ambulance arrives. The medics ask both Vicki and Tamra questions, trying to determine their injuries. They both get put on boards and a helicopter lands. Eddie leaves with Tamra for the hospital, but the helicopter is taking Vicki to Palm Springs. She’s feeling numbness somewhere. Heather claims to be in help mode, but I swear, as hurt as I was, I’d deck her one for saying things like “you’re okay” and “you’re strong” ten thousand times. She calls Briana to let her know what’s happening, but Briana is sick and can’t go there. Kelly’s helmet came off and she says she’s lucky she didn’t get hurt. Heather brags to Terry about how helpful she was, while Kelly talks to Tamra’s mother.

Kelly realizes later that she hurt her elbow and Heather gives her some ice. Heather calls Meghan and tells her about the accident. She says that Vicki is in Palm Springs and all alone, but that’s about forty-five minutes away from them, and God forbid Meghan might be inconvenienced. After she hangs up, Meghan gets annoyed because Vicki isn’t her friend and she doesn’t want to go and felt like Heather was pressuring her. Okay, here I’m on Heather’s team. She might not consider Vicki a friend, but she’s a co-worker who is all by herself. Not a good look.

Next time, Meghan tells Shannon about the accident, the girls call Vicki in the hospital, Tamra can’t do the competition, and Meghan and Heather argue, probably politely.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Jacqueline tells Chris about how she and Teresa got along on the girls trip and it seemed like old times. Chris asks if she’s happy that the weekend turned out well. No, she wanted. to fight. Kiddingnotkidding. In his interview, Chris says she’s happy now, but as soon as somebody says something stupid, it will go back again. That ought to take about five minutes. Maybe less.

Siggy visits Dolores. Sadly, Dolores had to have her dog, Boo, euthanized because he had kidney failure. Siggy brings flowers and a present. It’s tough for me to watch because I love my dogs so much. Dolores says she doesn’t cry easily, but this is very hard on her.

Melissa is stumped over an order that comes into the store. Her manager, Derek, thinks he and Jackie placed it. (He doesn’t know?) Melissa calls Jackie and tells her that she wants everything that comes into the store to go by her first. Jackie argues that not everyone is a size zero like her. In her interview, Melissa says it’s not as much fun as she thought it would be. Work never is. She tells Jackie that she’s stressed out and Jackie says welcome to owning a business, and tells her she doesn’t have to be there 24/7. She admits to not being good at delegating and Jackie suggests she take some time off.

Teresa – omg, one of their dogs has a magenta mohawk and stripe running down it’s back – tells Gia that she wishes she could come to the book party, but you have to be twenty-one. I guess it’s in a bar. Joe #1 comes in and Gia argues with him. In her interview, Teresa says Joe is drinking more and unraveling. She asks him how he’s doing and he says fine. She says she was all about making memories before she “went away,” and wishes Joe would calm down.

Siggy picks up her son from school and they discuss his upcoming ski trip with his father. She lets him drive, but kibbutzes the whole time and says once he gets his license, he’ll be lost to her. He tells her she has no limits and is loud, and she asks what he expects since she was born in a bomb shelter. I futilely try to figure that one out.

Teresa tells Joe #1 that he’s just like his father and he tells her to shut up. He’s seriously nasty and she tells him to please leave the kitchen. He says the only thing he’s going to miss is his children. Obviously, he’s not taking this going to prison thing too well. Teresa says that she feels like she has five kids instead of four. In her interview, Dolores says it’s in Teresa’s DNA that you never get divorced. Teresa reminds Dolores about the book party coming up. Dolores says she and Siggy are going together.

Jacqueline and Chris are having a poker night. Chris excited because Rosie is going to be there. She and Joe #1 hung out a lot when Teresa was “away,” but she got the brush off since Teresa’s return. I already figure this isn’t going to go well.

Melissa is dealing with her children when Derek calls her about a deadline. Joe #2 comes home and she asks him to help with dinner, but God forbid. He says he’s going to poker night and she says someone has to pick up their son from wrestling. In his interview, he whines that no one helps him with everything. He cuts out as fast as possible.

Rosie arrives at Jacqueline’s. She fells badly about some things she said about Joe #1 on New Year’s Eve. In her interview, she says something I can’t understand because so many words are bleeped. She’s not sure where she stands with Teresa and doesn’t understand what the wedge between them is about. I dunno. I guess discussing it with them is out of the question.

Joe #2 arrives and Rosie talks to him about the other Joe. He makes up something about everyone being busy. Chris calls Joe #1 who says he’s tired and in bed. He says they don’t need him anyway, since Rosie’s is a good poker player. She says she was hoping to see him. They hang up and Rosie wants to leave. In her interview, she says she wanted to see Joe #1 and doesn’t need this bullsh*t. Jacqueline says she doesn’t think he’s not coming because of her, but she wants to leave anyway. These people are incredibly clueless. Jacqueline explains to the guys that Rosie was counting on seeing Joe #1 and thinks there’s some kind of rift.

Rosie comes back. In her interview, she says Joe #1 claimed to have had too much to drink. She says she doesn’t know if Teresa had anything to do with it, but she feels badly for him. She tells the others about her stupid remarks on New Year’s Eve and that she feels guilty. Joe #2 calls Teresa and asks about Joe #1‘s absence, which she explains by saying it’s getting closer to his time in the pokey and he’s kind of freaked out. Chris says he’s glad that his family isn’t as screwed up as Joe #2’s is.

Siggy helps Dolores go through her paperwork. She’s been giving her bills to Frank, but Siggy thinks she needs to get some independence. Dolores says Frank has always handled the bills and she handled the kids. Teresa joins them, and checks out the renovations. Teresa says that “it’s” starting to get to Joe #1 and she needed to get out for some air. Siggy explains what’s going on with Dolores’s bills and Teresa says Dolores needs to start understanding what everything is about. Dolores says she and Frank have a symbiotic relationship. Teresa says she’s lucky to have Frank in her life, but that could always change. Dolores gets excited when she sees a check for cable over-payment. She’s seriously ignorant of her expenses.

Melissa curls her daughter Antonia’s hair for a father/daughter dance. She tells Antonia  that she’s busy with the boutique right now, but doesn’t want their relationship to suffer. She talks to Antonia about what she wants to be when she grows up. Joe #2 says he’s a handsome devil and Melissa gives him a wrist corsage for Antonia. He and Melissa take pictures.

Gia and Teresa have a girls night and go out for sushi. Teresa says she appreciated Gia’s help when she wasn’t around and wants to do something special. Gia takes pictures of the food and calls her father a butthead. She says prison will be good for him. Teresa asks if she means the drinking, and Gia says partly, but he needs to realize what he has. Astute kid. Teresa says he makes the wrong decisions when he drinks. She says she thinks Gia is going to miss him, and she says she will, but she’s not too worried. Teresa tells Gia how proud she is of her. She does seem mature for her age, but she had to grow up kind of fast.

Chris wonders if Joe #1 is coming to the book launch party. He and Jacqueline hitch a limo ride with Dolores, Siggy and her husband.

Teresa is trying tot get ready, and Melania and Audriana act up. Teresa tells Audriana to get to bed and in her interview says that they’re acting out because they know Joe #1 is leaving soon. In the limo, Joe #1 asks Teresa how she’s feeling and she says she’s happy about the book, but not so happy about other things.

Joe #1 gets a call from one of his friends, but Teresa tells him that the friend can’t bring his 12-year-old son. Another deal breaker is that the friend is a felon. Joe tells his felon father friend that they’ll work it out at the venue, but Teresa says it’s a no.

The bar is pretty crowded and Joe #1 can’t get a drink fast enough. Everyone is introducing everyone, and Joe slips out. Teresa’s lawyer has to explain to Joe why his friend can’t come in. Peter the Felon screams at Joe on the street. I think he’s had a few drinks too.

Joe #1 is paged inside the bar, but he’s too busy outside to know. Lawyer James explains what’s going on to Teresa, while Peter rages on, yelling about the mob and the government. Joe comes back in and Teresa is introduced. Her book is number two on the NY Times best seller list. Teresa thanks everyone for coming. She says she wanted to show her daughters what she went through when they get old enough. She says the book is also a love story about her and Joe. She tells everyone she loves them.

Teresa’s lawyer says she’s number two and the Pope is number four. Joe jokes about coming back skinny as hell. Everyone toasts to everything.

This season, Jacqueline’s daughter gets engaged, Melissa has a fashion show, Joe #2 argues with Melissa, Jacqueline calls Melissa a “fake, phony bitch” (!) and embarrasses herself, Joe #1 tells his daughters he’s not dying just going away, and Joe #1 goes away.

September 4, 2016 – Fear the Dead Stands Alone

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

No Wives tonight because Bravo is always afraid to put on any new shows when it’s even near a holiday, or the Olympics are on, or it’s raining.

Fear the Walking Dead

I’m watching the tail end of last week’s episode again, and now that I take a better look, Alejandro sure got a chunk taken out of him with that zombie bite. I like Alejandro, but I don’t believe for a second that he has the right idea. I wonder if any of these characters will ever do a crossover to The Walking Dead.

We see a wedding celebration going on in the hotel. A little prequel to the prequel. Everyone is having a great time and the bride and groom have their first dance. The guests chit-chat and the waitstaff looks bored. The father of the bride is called up amid applause. The coordinator asks the mother if everything is okay. She says no, they have to leave, as the border might close due to the “sickness” that’s running rampant. The coordinator tells a waiter to get the vehicles.

As the mother and father of the bride dance – the last one, she says – the father drops to the floor. Zombie infection or heart attack? The bride gives him CPR. Zombie gets my vote, since he just bit off half her face as a waltz plays in the background. The music continues over the scene, making it really eerie. The coordinator locks all of the guests in the banquet room. Remind me not to recommend her.

Travis and Chris are walking down a deserted road. Travis thinks they should look for shelter. Me too, since he’s not doing too well, limping along. They see a station wagon and break into it. Chris wants to look for food at a nearby taco place, but Travis is hesitant. He tells Chris that if he sees anything to come right back and tosses him a crowbar.

Chris enters the restaurant. He sees water and a can of beans on the counter, but he also hears voices in the back. As he takes the supplies, several zombies wander in. He dispatches them, and three live guys come out from the back. He jets.

Chris runs to the car and tells Travis to get going. It’s a really cool old wagon, turquoise and white. Must be a decent car too, if it started after all this time. They drive away and Travis tries the radio. Nothing, which should be no surprise to anyone. He tells Chris to check the glove compartment (or glove box, depending on where you’re from). Not much in there, but he finds a woven bracelet and keeps it. I assume this is being noted for some future reason.

Travis stops the car and tells Chris it’s time to learn to drive since there’s no traffic. Really? We’re doing this now? In the dark no less? Chris starts and stalls a few times, and Travis gives him instructions. No Chris, don’t look at Travis, look at the road.

Meanwhile, Alicia looks out of a peephole in one of the hotel rooms and sees zombies strolling past. She counts them by carving marks on the door. One of them gets thisclose to the peephole and makes bitey faces.

Commercial break. The Blair Witch sequel is in theaters September 16. They’re claiming it’s the scariest sequel ever, but that remains to be seen. And it won’t be scary at all if they keep showing me pieces of it.

Chris continues to do the driving. They see someone walking along the road and he slows, but it’s a zombie. Travis tells Chris driving is pretty easy, except for parallel parking. He doesn’t know the half of it if he’s never tried to park in NYC. Travis says he doesn’t believe this is the end. He can’t and he won’t. He says neither should Chris and they’ll get back what they lost, but not everything. You know that song Running on Empty? Well, they are and the car slows to a stop.

They build a fire in the woods and eat out of the humongous can of beans that Chris swiped. Travis asks if he remembers camping. Chris says his mom hated it, but Travis says she endured it for their sakes. They talk about what it might be like in the mountains where they used to go, and Travis thinks a place like that might be safe. Chris asks what they’re doing, and Travis says surviving. He thinks they should go to a place with a vantage point. Chris suggests the border, but Travis says it’s dangerous. There’s water there and predators will be looking for prey. Chris asks what happens once they find somewhere, and Travis tells him they start over.

Uh-oh. Here comes a truck and you know they saw that fire. Chris and Travis hide. No surprise, it’s the guys from the taco place. The leader of the group says they’re not going to hurt anyone over refried beans, but want to camp there and wouldn’t want to pee in them on the dark. Like I believe he’d be concerned about that, but it was funny. Travis and Chris come out and leader says Chris demonstrated his badassness, killing those zombies. They introduce themselves as Brandon, Derek and Baby James (is he a James Taylor fan or something else?) Chris claims he saved their lives, but Brandon says not so much.

Alicia bides her time, watching what’s going on below from a balcony. She quietly leaves the room and sees zombies down a hallway. She runs in the other direction, calling for Ofelia. Yeah, where’d she go? She pries open some elevator doors, but no car and the zombies are getting close. She jumps in and grabs onto the cables. Talk about badass. The zombies jump too, but they’re not very coordinated because they’re dead, and they fall. A woman appears at another floor and Alicia climbs to her. Somehow, the woman manages to pull her into the hallway. She puts a fire ax to Alicia’s throat and asks, “Where is he?” Who? What? The hell? It’s the coordinator from the wedding.

Everone sits around the campfire. Brandon says they’re the first Americans they’ve met since all hell broke loose. He tells them they’ve been trying to get back to San Diego ever since. Travis tells them they came from the north, and that San Diego is gone and so is LA. He says everything is destroyed up to the Continental Divide. Brandon says they’ll come back; they always do.

Brandon tells Chris he showed some skill at taking out the “wasted.” He asks where Chris learned it and Travis says it came naturally. Chris says it gets easier with practice. Travis tells Brandon they appreciate the food, but they’ll be out of there in the morning. Brandon asks if they’d like to join them. Travis says they want to carve a place out for themselves and asks if the guys can spare gas. Brandon says they can’t, but they’ll give them a ride.

Alicia realizes the woman is the one who put the “do not disturb” signs on the doors. The woman wants to know where Hector is. Alicia says she doesn’t know who that is, but her mom and friends are there. The woman says she only saw Alicia. Alicia says her mother needs her and she has to go. The woman tries to stop her. Alicia asks who Hector is. The woman says her nephew, but he went for food and didn’t come back. She introduces herself as Elena. She’s the hotel manager and the remaining live guests want the keys from her. She says whoever has the keys controls the hotel. Alicia asks how many guests are left and she says about a dozen. Alicia says if she helps find her family, they can help in return. Otherwise they’ll die there.

In their tent, Travis and Chris talk. Travis doesn’t trust the new guys, but Chris thinks they can use the help. He says they’re willing to share their supplies and Travis asks how come they have so much? He doesn’t want to be in debt to anyone. Chris thinks Travis just wants to look for Madison, but he says he only wants to take care of Chris, and thinks the guys are dangerous. Chris says maybe that’s what it takes. Travis says they’ll go with them to the next town, but that’s the end of it. They’re going to find their own car and their own place.

Alicia and Elena leave the room and Elena leads the zombies away. Elena goes down another hallway and Alicia leads the zombies to one of the rooms. Good thing they’re slow moving. She stabs the closest one in the head and goes onto the balcony. Elena closes the room door because she’s good at that. She goes to the next room and tosses a sheet to Alicia who uses it to climb sideways and nearly falls in the process.

Alicia asks what took her so long and Elena says she needed to make sure they were all in there. Alicia asks her to come downstairs with her. She says her mother would die for her, and now she needs her. Elena agrees to go with her.

They reach the banquet room. Elena remembers the wedding. She tells Alicia about how the father of the bride had a heart attack, became a zombie and attacked his daughter. Alicia asks what she did, and she says she contained the situation. The hotel was at capacity and she had the other guests to consider. She couldn’t let the sickness spread, so she locked them in. She starts crying as well she should, since obviously this plan didn’t work very well. She says it was supposed to only be until help came, but it never did. She says they died and now they hate her. Alicia says she’s seen worse and she promises not to let them touch Elena. They leave the banquet room.

Travis and Chris hitch a ride with the new guys. Travis sits in the bed of the truck with Brandon, while Chris talks women with the guys up front. Brandon tells Travis this is awesome – no traffic, no cops, no bills – the end times has made them gods. They see a farm up ahead and stop there.

Finding nothing but dust, they decide to check the barn. Travis tells Chris that they should stay there and make it home. Chris is not into that idea and says they need other people. He leaves Travis to check out the barn with the other guys.

They hear noises from the barn and it turns out to be a flock of chickens. They get excited because it’s protein. So are beans, but I’ll let it pass. (No pun intended.) Travis sees a makeshift graveyard. Most of the Suaraz family died in 2010.

Alicia and Elena walk through the downstairs. The doors to the bar are locked, but Alicia sees a bunch of zombies inside. She calls for her mother. The group of living hotel guests, including the mother of the bride (how’d that happen?) come out with Hector. They want the keys, but Alicia says not to hand them over yet. She asks about her mother, but Elena says she’s not with them so she must be gone.

Alicia says she doesn’t believe her mother is gone. One of the guests tells Elena to give him the keys and she can have Hector. Elena is afraid they’re going to kill her anyway and the bride’s mother thinks that’s a swell idea. Alicia tells her to hand over the keys like she knows what she’s doing. Elena tosses them and grabs Hector. Alicia busts the door open, releasing the zombies.

Travis joins the others in the barn. Brandon wants Chris’s help, but Travis wants Chris to leave with him. He thinks someone might still be on the farm. He’s right, because a guy comes in with a gun and starts speaking in Spanish. Brandon and Bro’s don’t speak Spanish, but Travis says this is the guy’s house and they have no right to be intruding.

Alicia sees someone from behind in the bar who looks like Madison. She starts to turn and Alicia thinks it’s her mom the zombie (and we do too, but not really). It’s not, and she stabs the lookalike in the head.

Speaking Spanish, Travis tells Mr. Suaraz to drop the gun, that he’s outnumbered. When that doesn’t work, he says they’ll go, but instead, Mr. Suaraz shoots Baby James. Great. He was the only one I could tell apart from the other two.

Elena, Hector and Alicia make a run for it. Elena opens a trapdoor that leads to underground hallways beneath the hotel, and the go down. While they run through the corridors, zombies pop out at them and it’s pretty tense, especially since it’s dark and kind of narrow.

Travis pleads with the bro’s, but it’s Chris who shoots Mr. Suaraz. Oh yeah, didn’t he stab that other guy on the boat and acted sort of creepy in general?

Alicia is in the lead and comes up to a door. The zombies aren’t far behind and she can’t get it open. She starts pulling at it and banging on it. It opens from the other side and it’s Madison, who grabs Alicia in. Elena and Hector follow. Victor slides something in front of the door to block it.

Travis is on his knees, watching Mr. Suaraz die. He’s obviously devastated. Chris holds out his hand and we see the bracelet. Travis only looks at him with the saddest expression I’ve ever seen.

Next time, we find out what happened to Madison and Victor, Alejandro explains how he got bitten, and it looks like Nick snorts cocaine, or at least that’s what it looks like. Hmm…did he make a deal with that gang?

On a side note, a little trivia about the hotel. On Talking Dead, I learned that the hotel scenes were filmed in a real hotel, while it was in operation. That must have been quite a feat, with falling zombies and all. Production had to stop when guests needed to go through, and there was one particularly troublesome older gentleman. Maybe he was bucking to get in a scene. They should have slapped some zombie makeup on him and pushed him off a balcony. That’s show biz.

The other interesting thing is that, while doing research on the character of Elena, Karen Bethzabe discovered that the children of the workers who built the hotel later became the employees of the hotel. It wasn’t just a job to them, it was their life. This helped her to justify why Elena wouldn’t have wanted to leave and protected the place so fiercely.

Another bit of info about tonight’s episode is that the bride was played by Sissy Spacek‘s daughter, Schuyler Fisk, and the mother-of-the-bride played by Desperate HousewivesBrenda Strong (Mary Alice Young). I thought I’d recognized the latter from somewhere.

 

September 2, 2016 – A GH Wedding, a Flipping Out Promise & Quotes to Live By

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital – Thursday

Jason and Sam kick back in Jason’s hotel room. Sam says she’s starving, so Jason checks the room service menu. He’s not thrilled about the gourmet choices, but Sam tells him he can order the burger without the fig jam

Carly is busy making wedding plans. Nell comes downstairs and Carly babbles about the wedding. Bobbie stops by and asks who Nell is, and Carly introduces them. Nell can see Carly is dying to tell her mother their secret and says she can go ahead. Carly explains that Nell is Josslyn’s kidney donor, but they don’t want it made public. Bobbie says she’s more than grateful. Nell goes upstairs to read to Avery.

Sonny tells Oz that he doesn’t want to leave anything to chance when it comes to Julian.

Michael and Sabrrrina have finally gotten Teddy to sleep, so they take him to The Floating Rib, which makes perfect sense. They see Sonny and Oz talking. Sonny wants to stop Julian from communicating with Alexis.

Finn tells Hayden murder isn’t her style. She says she’s getting the impression he actually cares about her. He says if she tells anyone, he’ll deny it. She says now that she finds out he cares, she has to leave. I really like these two together. I liked Hayden with (the old) Nicholas, but Finn is a better match for her sense of humor.

Elizabeth tells Franco that Hayden tried to kill her. Jordan overhears them talking and asks if Elizabeth feels up to giving a statement.

Hayden tells Finn if she sticks around, it’s a risk. Finn tells her if she leaves, she’ll be a fugitive. The lights come back on and she says she’s out of there. Nurse Eileen comes in, and Finn asks about Elizabeth. Eileen says she’s doing well and they don’t expect any permanent damage. When she’s gone, Hayden comes back and says she knows what Finn is trying to do. Okay, tell me, because I’m not sure.

Elizabeth tells Jordan about feeling someone push her. Franco tries to interject, but Jordan tells him to back off and let Elizabeth talk. She asks if Elizabeth knows who pushed her and Elizabeth says Hayden.

Oz leaves and Michael goes over to Sonny, saying Teddy requires noise to sleep. I guess putting the television on wasn’t an option. Finn walks into the bar (I so want to make a joke – sorry, we don’t serve aquatic creatures, or something like that) and Joe is right behind him. Joe smiles at Sabrrrina. Come on, can Michael even hold a candle to this guy? He is so Rico Suave. Joe approaches Sabrrrina and Michael. He says it looks like trip to The Floating Rib was just what Teddy needed. Sabrrrina introduces Sonny, and Joe says he knows who Sonny is. He’s the guy who brought Carrrlos back to the states so he could be killed. We’re off to a great start.

Carly tells Bobbie the nanny story and says what a great nanny Nell is, but Bobbie says she knows exactly who could look after Avery. Oh, nice. Nell loses her job and you take her potential new one away.

Jason tells Sam they have a big day ahead of them. Sam says Molly told her it’s bad luck to spend the night before the wedding together, but she’s not big on superstition. She thinks it’s actually good luck. They kiss.

Hayden says Finn was trying to get information to find out when Elizabeth is going to squeal, but she’s not going to be a sitting duck. He asks where she’s going to go. She says she’s going to meet up with her mother in NYC, and she needs to go pack her bags. Finn says he’ll take her.

Jordan asks if Elizabeth saw Hayden before she was pushed, but Elizabeth says it was after she fell. Jordan says if she pushed Elizabeth, wouldn’t it have made more sense for Hayden to disappear? Franco says Hayden wanted to make sure she’d done the job right, and/or to send a message that she can do damage. He says Hayden seemed expressionless, which was kind of creepy, a big deal coming from him. Jordan says no one witnessed the actual assault. Elizabeth says Hayden slapped her during an argument earlier. Jordan asks if anyone saw, and Nurse Eileen appears and says she did. Really? I don’t remember her being there.

Sam is thrilled with the cold sesame noodles Jason brings back. He says they’re going to have two anniversaries, since they’re getting married around their old fifth anniversary. He wonders what the traditional present is for year five. She looks it up on her phone. It’s wood. Lots of jokes floating around everyone’s head, but he hands her the take-out chopsticks and they separate them like a wishbone.

Bobbie suggests that she babysit Avery. Carly says it’s a thankless, day in, day out job. Bobbie says she regrets not having a chance to bring Carly up, but Carly says she doesn’t owe her anything. Bobbie says it’s not out of obligation, but love.

Sonny says he didn’t really want Carrrlos dead; he wanted him to face justice for his crimes. Joe says he understands. He loved his brother, but he needed to pay for what he did. He apologizes for any pain Carrrlos caused. Joe asks to speak to Sabrrrina privately, and then asks her if he can spend more time with Teddy. She says just give her a call. He was afraid she’d say no, but she says Teddy is his family. He asks if they can finish the conversation they started and she says she’s ready to deal with their past.

Eileen tells Jordan that Hayden said something about shutting Elizabeth up. Jordan tells them it’s solid enough to merit further investigation and she’ll keep them posted. After she leaves. Elizabeth says it surprises her that she’s surprised. She didn’t really think Hayden would try to kill her. Griff comes in with her test results.

Elizabeth thought Griff had handed over the case to another doctor. He says the doctor got called out on an emergency, so he’ll go over the results with her. He says she has a mild concussion, some kind of contusion and something with her spleen. Why is it always the spleen? What is the spleen? Franco doesn’t like Griff’s cavalier attitude and wants another doctor. Griff ignores him and says if things keep going well, Elizabeth can be released soon, but they want to keep an eye on her for now. Franco doesn’t like Elizabeth staying in the hospital with the murders going on.

Finn and Hayden drink liquor out of coffee cups outside Perks. She says she guesses this is good-by and he asks her where she’s going.

Nell asks if Carly wants her to stay a few days to help, but Carly says Bobbie just volunteered her services. Nell says who better to watch Avery than her own family. Carly says Nell should be able to get a good job with her references, but Nell says with everyone having gone off to college, all the decent positions are filled already.

Sabrrrina says the past is the past, and she and Joe are just two people who care about her son. He asks if she’s committed to Michael.

Sonny asks Michael what’s on his mind. He says he doesn’t like seeing Sabrrrina with Joe because they have a past. Sonny says Michael is really jealous of her relationship with Carrrlos, and she’ll always have one because he’s her baby daddy. Sonny tells Michael not to let resentment build and he needs to talk to someone or talk to Sabrrrina. Michael says he’s right and Sonny says he always is.

Before Sonny leaves, he tells Joe he doesn’t know why he’s in Port Charles, but his brother caused a lot of trouble for Sonny’s family. Joe says he’s not his brother, but Sonny says he’s a different kind of trouble. He says don’t make the same mistakes Carrrlos did.

Elizabeth asks Franco to leave for a minute while she calls her grandmother to watch the kids. Franco approaches Griff. He asks if Elizabeth is going to be okay. Griff says he should really talk to Elizabeth’s doctor, but with the injuries she has, it’s wait and see.

Jason and Sam start fooling around and the phone rings. It’s Franco. Franco leaves a message for Jason to call him back about Elizabeth.

Sabrrrina explains to Michael that she and Joe were over a long time ago, and there’s nothing between them. Michael asks if Joe knows that, and she says yes. He says seeing them together brought back a lot of his old feelings about Carrrlos. Sabrrrina says she regrets what she did and will for the rest of her life, but she loves Michael and wants a future with him. If he feels like he can’t forgive her, he needs to tell her now.

Sonny gets home and says he didn’t think he’d see Nell there. She says Avery had a hard time getting to sleep and she wants him to know he has an amazing daughter. She says she’ll check in before she leaves and thanks Carly for the ride home. Carly tells Sonny that Bobbie will be the new nanny. He thinks it’s fantastic.

Jason tells Sam the last time he talked to Elizabeth, she said she wasn’t seeing Franco anymore, so he’s ignoring the call. They start to fool around again.

Hayden says if she talks to Finn, he’ll be aiding and abetting. He says that’s what he does for a living. She tells him that she doesn’t want to get him in trouble, and he reminds her that she brought drugs to him in jail. She tells him to take care of himself. He says he’ll try, and she says a wise man once said, there is no trying, just doing, and he realizes she’s quoting Yoda. Hayden asks Finn to spend time with Tracy because she needs someone. Finn talks about their friendship and Hayden says how was she supposed to know they were friends when he kept pushing her away? He says he wishes she wouldn’t leave. They kiss. Lots of that going around today.

Sam and Jason bask in the afterglow and open a fortune cookie. It’s one of those ones I hate that says, “With great work comes great success.” The next one is no better. Jason claims it says they’ll live happily ever after.

Carly tells Sonny the florist is going to be there early. Sonny thinks something is wrong and Carly says she feels badly about sending Nell back to Atlanta when there’s nothing there for her. Sonny says she can be grateful, but not be responsible for Nell’s life. He goes upstairs and Carly calls Nell. She says she wants to discuss Nell’s job hunt, and has a few ideas.

Michael asks if Sabrrrina wants a future with him. She says yes, and he says he wants one with her and Teddy. He says the past is behind them and they need to rebuild the trust they lost. He’s willing to make the effort if she is. They kiss. What’d I say?

Elizabeth tells her grandmother not to tell the kids what happened and she’ll be there as soon as she’s able. Franco overhears and says she’s missing the opportunity for handmade get well cards. She tells him to get some rest. He says he will and lies in the chair next to her. They hold hands. Her face is pretty bruised up, so they can’t participate in today’s kissing theme.

Jordan comes with an officer to arrest Hayden, who says she expected it, but wonders why it isn’t the Feds. Jordan says it’s not their jurisdiction. She’s being arrested for the attempted murder of Elizabeth.

Tomorrow, Finn talks to someone about a mutual friend, Curtis arranges something for Nina, and Jason has a surprise for Sam.

General Hospital – Friday

Nina and Curtis walk in the park. It sounds like Curtis has found a baby momma for Nina.

Franco talks to Elizabeth while she sleeps. He tells her even though the hospital lighting isn’t the best, she’s beautiful. He says whoever did this to her is going to pay, even if it is her sister. Elizabeth stirs and asks him what he said.

In the interrogation room, Hayden nods out and relives the kiss with Finn and her subsequent arrest. She wakes up realizing it’s all real.

Finn gives Hayden’s medical records to a nurse for delivery to the PCPD.

Paul gets a call from Ava, but he says “not today” to his phone. She leaves a message that she hopes he’s not ignoring her, and they need to discuss a game plan if he wants her to keep quiet. The jury selection for Julian’s trial is beginning.

Sabrrrina isn’t looking forward to testifying. Michael tells her to relax and just tell the truth. Monica tells them she’s going to have to miss the big day. What big day?

Oh, she must mean Jason and Sam’s wedding. Sam wants breakfast in bed, but there isn’t time. She suggests they elope, but Jason says as great as it sounds, they’ll disappoint their family.

Carly attends to the last minute details and gives instructions to the photographer. Sonny asks her if she’s overdoing things and didn’t they want it simple, but she says it is simple. I’m with her on this. It’s understated and elegant. She wants it to be about Jason and Sam, and wants them to be as happy as she and Sonny are.

Monica tells Michael not to mention anything to Jason or the kids about what happened to Elizabeth, and then has to explain what happened to Elizabeth. Sabrrrina suggests she stay behind in case Elizabeth needs anything.

Elizabeth asks about the boys and Franco tells her all is fine. He says Monica is going to gather them together later and hr grandmother will explain what happened. Elizabeth says she can’t believe that Hayden tried to kill her. Franco tells her to get some rest and he’ll be back before she wakes up. She thanks him. Wonder how that spleen is doing.

Finn calls Curis, leaving a message that he wants to talk about their mutual friend. Curtis ignores the call. Curtis explains to Nina how to talk to the potential mother. He tells her not to call anything a payment for services, but a payment for expenses. A humongously pregnant girl comes along and introduces herself as Bridget.

Michael and Jake are the first to show up for the wedding. Alexis and her girls are right behind. Alexis heads directly for the champagne, which makes me a little worried about her. Although I would relish seeing Alexis as a raging alcoholic. Sam and Jason show up, hardly dressed in summer casual. He’s wearing a tux and she has on a formal gown with a sparkly bodice.

Sabrrrina brings Elizabeth some magazines. She wonders why Hayden would push Elizabeth down the stairs. Elizabeth says it’s a long, complicated story and she’s just glad Hayden is locked up.

Franco goes to the station to see Hayden. The officer says family and lawyer only. At first Franco says he’s her lawyer (like that was going to work) and then he says he’s there for the family. Finn comes in asking if there’s a problem.

Curtis tells Nina he has faith in her and leaves. She thanks Bridget for coming and they both say how nervous they are. Bridget says she wants her little girl to grow up the best way possible and have a loving home. Nina tells her a little about herself, saying the child will never lack for anything material and she’ll love the baby with all her heart. Bridget lets Nina feel the baby kicking, which blows my theory that maybe Bridget isn’t really pregnant. Ava comes out of nowhere and tells Nina to get her hands off that girl. Ava has a lot of time on her hands. Doesn’t she go to work? Who takes care of the gallery?

Carly says she thought Sam and Jason wanted it casual. Sam says she thought Carly wanted them dressed up and says they’ll change. It just so happens that Jason has clothes in the car and Kristina has another outfit for Sam. If this was you or me, nobody would have anything except an old pair of shorts.

Ava tells Bridget to call the police. Ava says Kiki told her that Nina was drifting back into her baby obsession and wonders what kind of court would allow her to adopt. She realizes that Nina is going to get a baby “off the books.” Nina tries to get Bridget to go somewhere else with her (where’s Curtis?), but Ava says Bridget better keep Nina away from her baby.

Franco calls Finn “Dr. Buddinsky” and tells him to butt out. He tries to give a message to Finn from Hayden’s “family,” but Finn blows him off. The guard tells Hayden her doctor is here. Finn gives her something that looks like ibuprofen, saying it’s medication she needs because she got shot, and lucky her, he’s required to administer it personally.

Paul and Nathan visit Elizabeth. She goes over the timeline for them, remembering that she saw Paul in Monica’s office before she went to the stairs.

Alexis continues to work on the champagne. Sonny asks if she’s made up with Kristina and she says it’s a fragile peace. He mentions that jury selection starts today. She says it hadn’t crossed her mind and picks up another glass.

Ava tells Bridget that Nina is dangerously unstable and tells her about how Nina kidnapped her baby. She calls Nina a lunatic in sheep’s clothing. Nina says it’s not as bad as it sounds. Ava says it is, and Bridget should run away and never let Nina near her baby.

Finn feels responsible, saying if it wasn’t for him, Hayden would have been long gone. She says it’s ironic she’s been arrested for the one crime she didn’t commit. She wonders who would believe it wasn’t her.

Paul suggests Elizabeth’s time frame is off. Elizabeth says she remembers seeing Paul searching through Monica’s desk and he insists he was looking for a pen. Nathan thinks they’re just digressing and asks about the stairs. Monica interrupts, saying Elizabeth has had enough questions for one day. Paul says he hopes she feels better soon and Sabrrrina gives Paul the mother of all soap opera faces as he walks out. I hope Nathan thinks about this real hard, because Paul basically gave himself away by first saying that Elizabeth was mistaken about seeing him and then saying he was in there looking for a pen. Hello? Did no one notice this? Maybe Sabrrrina did and that’s why the face.

Naomi comes to the station. Franco tells her that Hayden has been detained because she tried to murder her sister.

The photographer takes pictures of Sam with her mother and sisters. They all talk about Julian’s trial through clenched teeth smiles and in between the song part. Photos of the guys are taken, and Jason wishes Monica could be there. Just sayin’, but Sam’s new outfit, a chiffon-y white halter number, isn’t that much less dressy than the one she walked in with. Molly insists that Jason and Sam do a kiss photo.

Nina says she has references and Bridget can talk to her therapist. Bridget says she’d rather leave and jets. Ava tells Nina that actions have consequences, and Nina asks when Ava is going to pay for her actions, including Connie’s murder. She tells Ava that she’s a hypocritical, lying bitch. Suddenly, Nathan steps in.

Finn insists Elizabeth will remember that Hayden didn’t push her once her mind clears. He tells Hayden that he can’t pretend to understand their grudge, but he doesn’t think Elizabeth would blame her for something she didn’t do. The cynic in him is working on a contingency plan just in case though. Before he leaves, he tells Hayden to stay positive because it’s better for her immune system. He adds that it might be inappropriate considering the circumstances, but she looks pretty. Aww! Michael Easton is just precious in this role. Much better than the brooding poet he usually is plays. If I want to see Heathcliff, I’ll watch Wuthering Heights. Now he’s a brooding poet with a sense of humor and a bearded dragon.

Naomi tells Franco that Hayden doesn’t have a sister. Franco says he knows Hayden and Elizabeth are half-sisters, sharing Jeff Webber as a father. He tells her he found out from Heather. Naomi says Heather is a lunatic who no one will believe. Franco says maybe, but everyone will believe him and the money can be traced. He tells her everyone is going to know. Naomi says no one is going to know, especially Elizabeth.

Monica complains about being short-staffed. Sabrrrina says her nursing license is still current and offers her services. Monica accepts.

Sam asks where the officiant is and Jason says he has a surprise. He leads everyone to the stairs and Spinelli comes down. Just yesterday, Spinelli became a minister online through the Church of Illuminating Wonders. I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s a real thing.

Ava tells Nathan that his deluded sister was about to buy a baby, and she’s not about to let her get her hands on another one. Nina says she’s changed, but Ava hasn’t, and one day it’s coming back to bite her. Ava says no one has ever proven anything about her, but Nina can’t say the same. She leaves.

Curtis calls Finn back. Finn tells him that Hayden needs their help.

Naomi tells Franco it would destroy her relationship with Hayden (like he cares) and be bad for Elizabeth (okay, she has him there). She says Elizabeth idolizes her father and he’ll be pushed off the pedestal. This is news to me, since we never even hear her talk about Jeff.

Monica looks over Elizabeth’s chart. She says Elizabeth isn’t out of the woods – most likely it’s that spleen thing – but making progress. She says the kids will be told what’s going on after the wedding. Elizabeth is like, what wedding? and Monica tells her Jason and Sam are getting married.

Sam walks down the aisle as invisible violinists play.

Wait, what? Did GH just end on a good note? On a Friday? What happened to my show?

On Monday, Hayden asks if Nina believes her, Ava asks Paul how Julian is going free, and Spinelli tries out his new job, joining Sam and Jason in marriage.

Flipping Out

I also wanted to give a shout out to Flipping Out. I’ve always liked Jeff Lewis, despite his quirky (read pain-in-the-ass) personality. I’m pretty sure I’d even enjoy working for him. He pulls no punches and expects 100% out of his employees, but he works extremely hard, and doesn’t ask anything from anyone that he wouldn’t do himself.

It’s been interesting to watch him grow through life experience as well as therapy. Soon to be a dad with partner Gage, I have no doubt that child is going to lead a charmed life. While his sense of humor is sometimes a little dark for kids, he reminds me of my own father somewhat in that regard, and I’m sure he’s going to make a wonderful parent.

Thursday night’s episode was particularly touching. While he and his housekeeper Zoyla have often butted heads, it seemed like their relationship might have come to an end when Zoyla walked out after an argument. She was scheduled to take care of the house and pets while Jeff and Gage were away on business, and it looked like she wasn’t going to show up, causing everyone to scramble to rearrange plans. Jeff was ready to fire her, leaving her a message that she’d best think carefully about what she’s doing, when returned.

What was beautiful about this episode was the therapy session they had together afterward. Seeing two adults talk out their differences in a reasonable way was amazing enough, but Jeff went on to say how much he cared about Zoyla, something that snarky Jeff rarely does. He told her that it was her choice whether she wanted to continue working for him or retire, but either way he promised he would take care of her for the rest of her life. It was so kind and so loving, I nearly burst into tears. Not something Flipping Out usually does to me. She chose to continue working part time and expressed interest in being involved with the new baby, which he said he definitely wanted. He told her that he loved her and she said she loved him too. It was one of the truly great moments in reality TV that didn’t involve a fight.

Jeff is going to make an awesome daddy!

😟 I also just read that Devious Maids has been canceled and I’m so disappointed. It was a delightful show – smart and funny, intriguing and fun. I’d also liked Eva Longoria ‘s other effort, Telenovela, which unfortunately disappeared after a few episodes. Here’s hoping she continues to toss her hat into the ring until something sticks.

Quotes of the Week

Always remember: If you’re alone in the kitchen and you drop the lamb, you can always just pick it up. Who’s going to know?Julia Child

There is no magic to achievement. It’s really about hard work, choices, and persistence.Michelle Obama

For God’s sake even Superman was Clark Kent. Go to work.Gene Simmons on Dr. Phil, addressing a 44-year-old man who continues to pursue his dream of being a rock star by sponging off of his loved ones.

August 31, 2016 – GH’s Killer Gets Blackmailed, LA’s Briana is About to Pop & NYC’s Reunion Ordeal Begins

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Finn asks Franco what he’s implying about Hayden. He asks why Franco would accuse her of wanting Elizabeth dead. Hayden tells Finn not to pay attention to him, but Franco says Elizabeth has something on Hayden that could put her away. Hayden says Franco is just making things up, but he says he’s not making up a pouch of diamonds that are proof of fraud. I guess telling them that they’re sisters is now out of the question.

Franco leaves and Finn asks Hayden what’s going on. Hayden tells him not to get involved. Finn says he took some things out on her and he was wrong. He says she took a risk for him and he doesn’t want her to leave town. Gee, maybe if you’d said that a week ago, you wouldn’t be having this conversation now. Hayden says she doesn’t know what to do and he tells her to stop doing it on her own and let him help her.

Alexis is at the bar. OMG – so is Julian!

Ava realizes Paul is the hospital killer. Ava wonders why he’d do something like that and says nothing makes sense.

Meanwhile, Paul continues to be the hospital killer, stalking Monica. Luckily her phone rings while she’s in the locker room, but he’s lurking right behind her.

Griff tells Franco they’ve ruled some things out, but Elizabeth isn’t out of the woods. Franco asks what he’s talking about. Griff says they need to run more tests and they take as long as they take. Doctor talk. He says she’s under excellent care and constant attention.

Julian tells Alexis that the powers that be know they belong together. She argues with him and he grabs her arm. Then we see Tracy has her arm. I can’t believe they fooled me again. Alexis asks where Julian went. Tracy says he’s in jail. Alexis swears she saw him, so Tracy calls the PCPD.

Oh! Paul’s phone goes off and startles Monica. Hiding the syringe, he makes something up about why he’s there. She thanks him for all his hard work and leaves. He sees a picture on his phone of him and Ava – he’s putting on cufflinks in the picture. He calls her, thinking that she’s trying to hold their affair over his head, but she says she has something more and to meet her at Perks. He asks where she is now and she says closer than he thinks. She talks to herself, saying now it’s his turn to have his sins come back and haunt him. This is a good one today.

Jordan comes to the hospital. Monica tells her Paul is there already. She’d asked him to come because of the patient that did and he was there in a heartbeat. Yep. He certainly was. Monica says she thought that’s why Jordan was there, but Jordan says she’s there because Elizabeth was supposed to come to the station and never showed up.

Griff tells Franco to talk to Elizabeth when she gets settled in. He believes in second chances and thinks Franco is sincere.

Hayden tells Finn about the diamonds. She says Elizabeth made her so angry, she slapped her, but that’s all. He says he believes her. She says the diamonds were all that was left after the Feds confiscated all the assets, but she never sold them because they were the last thing left from her father. Finn says help him understand how she could be so clueless.

Tracy confirms that Julian is still in jail. She asks how long Alexis has been hallucinating. Alexis says it’s more like a waking nightmare that she’s had since Julian tried to kill her. Tracy brings up the fight she had with Kristina, but Alexis says it was no big deal. Still, she’s terrified Julian will be acquitted because of her.

Paul tells Ava she’d better have a good reason for the meeting. Ava acts silly and tells him they’re in a public place, so don’t try to kill her. She tells him about Jordan calling her in regard to a murder. He tells her the flash drive is safe as long as she testifies against Julian. She says she’s not going to do that and he’s not going to give the flash drive to anyone. He thinks she’s calling his bluff, but she tells him about the cufflink and how she remembered it was his.

Monica tells Jordan how Elizabeth had a nasty fall. She starts to tell Jordan about the power outage, but Franco butts in, saying something about Hayden being responsible.

Hayden tells Finn that she has nothing left. She lied to the Feds, and if Elizabeth turns her in, she’ll go to prison. Finn says Franco is right, if Elizabeth dies, her problems go away. Hayden is aghast that he’d believe she’d kill Elizabeth.

Griff sees a needle in with the dirty scrubs. He carefully removes it.

Franco talks to an unconscious Elizabeth. He says they have a lot to talk about and there’s more to life than just toast. She regains consciousness and asks what happened. She asks about the boys and he says they’re fine. She says she’s sore and he tells her she took a big fall. He asks if she remembers anything.

Tracy says Alexis knows what the jury wants to hear to convict Julian and she has to give it to them. Alexis tells Tracy about how Jordan thought she was still trying to protect Julian and trying to discredit herself.

Paul laughs – ha-ha! – at Ava. He says she can’t prove he ever owned anything like that. She says she does have their video though. In addition to the graphic footage, there’s a clear image of him putting on his cufflinks.

Griff tells Monica about the syringe. He’s given it to the lab for analyzing. He asks about Elizabeth and they both go to check on her. Franco is telling Elizabeth to just concentrate on getting better because he’s not okay with this and thought he almost lost her. She says she’s still here and he says he’s glad. (His characters are so often brooding, it’s nice to see Roger Howarth smile. Although I’d rather see Franco and Nina together.) Griff and Monica come in. Griff says tests are being run and Monica says everyone is rooting for her and to rest. When they’re gone, Franco says everyone in the hospital loves her. Elizabeth starts to remember what happened. She starts to talk about going into Monica’s office, but Franco interrupts, so she skips to the power outage on the stairs. She tells him she felt hands on her back.

Hayden asks if Finn thinks she pushed Elizabeth. He says he didn’t say that, but the argument happened just before Elizabeth fell down the stairs, so what is he supposed to think?

Alexis says if nothing else, Scotty is going to have a field day with how long she waited to say something about Julian. Tracy says that’s okay, he’ll probably make a procedural error, and besides, they have the confession on tape. She says after all Alexis has been through, she’ll blow the jury away just by telling the truth.

Paul balks at the idea a grainy video will bury him. Um…it’s not very grainy. He asks why Ava thinks he’d be behind the killings. She says she spent time in his hotel room tonight and not to be concerned with the how and the why, but what she found. She shows him the pouch with the syringes in it and he makes a great soap opera face. 😨

Hayden tells Finn she wanted to shut Elizabeth up, but not kill her. She says she had something on Elizabeth too. She tells him she was shot last year and the official story was wrong. She says Nicholas hired sometone to kill her and Elizbeth knew about it. Finn’s mind boggles that Hayden still married Nicholas. Hayden says Elizabeth was an accessory after the fact and she was going to make a bargain with her. She says she’s not a murderer. Jordan interrupts saying she’s been looking for Hayden. She tells her that Elizabeth had called saying she had information about Hayden. Hayden says she doesn’t know anything about it and Elizabeth doesn’t clue her in on her plans. Jordan says Franco told her that he found Elizabeth with her in the stairwell. She asks what Hayden was doing before the outage and Finn says she was with him.

Elizabeth realizes she was pushed and wonders who would try to kill her. She says she was going home to get the diamonds and she’d just had a fight with Hayden. Finn got in the middle and told her to go see Monica. Franco says its not a stretch to think Hayden was involved, since when he got there, she was standing over Elizabeth.

Alexis asks Tracy what she’s even doing at The Floating Rib, since its not her usual haunt. Tracy tells her about the disastrous lunch with Dillon and how she saw Alexis talking to herself. She says she knows Alexis is angry and that anger can be motivating. She tells Alexis that it will get better and eventually she’ll have her life back, but testifying is the first step. Tracy leaves to take a call and Julian is back again, telling Alexis that she won’t be able to do it.

Paul says not that it’s Ava’s business, but he has a prescription. She says not for this he doesn’t and it’s something used for surgery. She says she was originally there out of curiosity and found the mother lode. She asks what he’s trying to cover up, who he’s trying to frame, or is he just a psycho? She says he’s done if she decides to go to Jordan. He asks what she wants. This reminds me of the time that Home Depot tried to get over on me, but then realized I had the upper hand. Long roofing story.

Griff tells Monica that the syringe tested positive for whatever that drug is that’s been killing the patients. She wonders if the power outage stopped the killer and Griff says maybe they’re the one who caused it.

Ava says Paul probably made copies of the flash drive anyway, but his silence is a condition of the agreement. She says she knows he’s angry and homicidal, but there’s no reason not to be civilized. And I swear to you, just now Paul called Ava “Anna” and no one caught it or they thought the audience wouldn’t. Ava tells Paul that she also wants Julian to go free.

Alexis says she’ll bury Julian, but he says she can’t, and they’ll be together because they were meant to be. She tells him he’s not really there. Tracy sees her talking to herself again, and Alexis asks what’s happening to her. Tracy says she’s been drinking on an empty stomach. She tells Alexis she’s calling her a cab and she’s to go home, drink some water, take some aspirin and go to bed. If she ends up a whimpering mess, Julian wins, and don’t let him win anything.

Finn tells Jordan that he and Hayden had argued and he was trying to make things right. Jordan says she might need to contact him for more formal questioning and Hayden should expect to be contacted as well. She leaves and Hayden asks why Finn didn’t say anything. He says he doesn’t think she pushed Elizabeth.

Elizabeth tells Franco that Hayden did this to her. Franco says they don’t know that and Elizabeth tells him about the slap. She adds that Finn saw it and says Hayden tried to kill her.

Tomorrow, Jason tells Sam to make a wish, Sonny tells Joe not to make the same mistakes Carrrlos did, and Nell asks Carly if she threatened someone.

Little Women: LA

Briana says she’s about to burst and she’s now as big around as she is tall. She and Matt go out to lunch and discuss having a housewarming or “pre-pop” party. She says if Christy shows up, she’ll call the cops. She’s furious about Christy setting her up at Tonya’s party. Briana says Christy is delusional and she thinks she must be doing something like day drinking or taking drugs. She says Christy has completely changed, and she vacillates between being zen and wired. Matt thinks they should also reveal their baby’s name at the party.

Joe and Terra are doing fun activities with Penny before she has a new brother or sister to torment for the rest of her life. They’re making some kind of craft that involves hand prints, and Penny is not pleased at having her hand dipped in paint. Joe tells her not to worry because she only has 18 more years to live with them.

Since Penny will be behind in physical development, Terra is trying to teach her more words. In her interview, Terra says there’s no scale to measure a little person’s development; everyone is different.

Preston and Elena, who looks stunning in a yellow and black maxi sun dress, sit on the patio while the babies are napping. They discuss their sex life, or lack thereof, since they have to wait six weeks. Elena says she feels like cobwebs are growing on her and she’s counting down the hours. One of the babies starts to cry. There goes relaxation time.

Tonya comes over Terra’s place. Terra wants to wrap up the feud they’ve been having. In her interview, Terra says they’ve been best friends for most of their lives. She tells Tonya that she’s sorry for putting her nose where it didn’t belong and that Tonya is like a sister to her. She starts to tear up and Tonya tells her to stop because she doesn’t want to cry. She says the activewear line is like her baby and there’s a difference between critiques and throwing shade. She’s also annoyed that Terra drug Elena into it.

Terra says she hadn’t expected Elena to make things worse. She tells Tonya that it upset her to see Tonya talking to Christy about it. Terra switches topics by saying she gets the feeling there’s been a disconnect between Tonya and Angelique since Kerwin moved in. She tells Tonya that Angelique feels like she settled. In her interview, Tonya is bothered that Angelique would tell Terra something like that before she came to her. Tonya accepts Terra’s apology, but insists she hasn’t settled.

Autumn and Christy are taking a yoga class. In her interview, Christy says yoga ain’t easy for a dyslexic dwarf, and that you’re not going to be a good parent unless you’re embarrassing your kid. My father would probably concur about the latter. After class, Christy tells Autumn that her grandfather could have colon cancer. They say they’re each other’s best friend.

The girls go to an ice cream parlor where you ride a bike to churn your own ice cream. Cool! Both literally and figuratively. Tonya tells everyone that she and Terra have reconciled. Elena says she was hurt by Tonya blowing her off at the party and feels like she can’t speak her mind. Tonya thinks once Elena actually sees her activewear, she’ll be impressed.

Tonya asks how everyone is feeling about Briana and Matt, since their party is coming up. Jasmine says that Matt makes her uncomfortable, but she doesn’t want it to cause another rift.

Jasmine and Chris walk on the beach. She says they won’t be able to have much alone time after the baby comes. She’s worried about Briana and Matt. Chris suggests she stay out of their business. Jasmine thinks that Matt needs to understand how she feels so they can move on. She says he has a hot temper and doesn’t mince words, so she’s concerned about approaching him.

Tonya and Angelique take a flying class. Not that kind of flying, but those circles and fabric swatches people twirl around on. During a break, Tonya tells Angelique that she and Terra made up. She mentions what Terra told her in regard to Angelique’s feelings about Kerwin. Angelique says it’s a big change and she feels like she got no warning. She loves them, but feels like her opinions and feelings have been disregarded. She starts to cry and Tonya apologizes. Tonya figured since Angelique was grown, it wouldn’t be a big deal and didn’t realize she needed to adjust. Tonya asks why Angelique feels like she’s settling. Angelique says that Kerwin moving in seemed to come out of the blue. Tonya says every love story is different and their timing hadn’t been good up until then. She says she’ll never put a man before her child though. They hug it out.

Todd and Christy look at outdoor plants for their new house. Todd wonders if getting Christy’s dad involved in gardening might be a good idea. She says her dad has pre-cancerous cells in his esophagus and they need to do more testing on his colon. It’s upsetting to hear her mother talk about chemo and radiation. Todd suggests putting off his search for his birth parents so they can concentrate on her father. Christy thinks all the more reason not to wait, since there could be health issues in Todd’s family that he should know about.

The pre-pop/housewarming party begins. Briana is having mild contractions, but says she’s had them before and isn’t too concerned. Elena looks fabulous for someone who just had twins, but these girls always look well put together. Jasmine is anxious about talking to Matt, since she doesn’t know what his reaction will be, but feels like she can’t hold back any longer.

Jasmine asks Matt if she can have a word. She says she was there for him and fought for him, and the things he did with other women were disgusting. She wants to be supportive of Briana, but doesn’t want things to be awkward with Matt. Matt tells her that he hopes with time he can show everyone that someone can change. He tears up and says he wants to set a good example for his children. Jasmine says that if he’s who Briana chooses, she has to accept that. He thanks Jasmine for being a good friend to Briana throughout.

Jasmine tells the girls about the conversation. In her interview, Terra thinks Jasmine is taking it all too much to heart and Briana is the one who has to sleep with him.

Time to eat. Jasmine asks Briana about Christy setting her up for the process server to find her at the party. Briana says she’s disgusted with Christy and she’ll never be friends with her again. She thinks Christy is trying to take attention away from something going on in her own life. Elena wonders if it was just a coincidence. Terra brings up how Christy almost got her arrested and Jasmine says it’s been a chain of events. Terra thinks Christy is trying to get back at Briana for cutting her out of the loop.

Briana wonders if Christy is on something. Terra says that she and Tonya had discussed if Christy was on drugs. Briana says she doesn’t seem like the same Christy. In her interview, Terra talks about Christy repeatedly taking what she said was ibuprofen a year ago, although she doesn’t think it was ibuprofen. Elena is distressed that the allegations are so big.

Game time. The guests pick a cupcake with a letter of the alphabet on it. All together they will form the name. Maverick Jax. Okay, I’m good with that. All of a sudden, Briana says her pain is at a 10 and it’s close to how she felt the last time she went to the hospital. She’s not supposed to have her c-section for another two weeks. Terra says she could die if she tries to deliver naturally. Briana decides to go to the hospital. She’s more worried about the baby than the pain, not knowing if these are contractions or the baby is in distress. Matt gets her into the car.

Tonya says the baby is about to come. Everyone watches as the car drives away.

This season is chock full o’ fun – an amusement park, archery, bowling, Penny poops, Briana delivers, Christy is confronted and Terra is hospitalized.

The Real Housewives of NYC – Reunion Part One

Andy says hello to the ladies and they answer back like it’s an AA meeting. No shock, everyone looks fabulous. I especially love Dorinda’s white and silver dress that looks like a snowflake. Bethenny’s divorce is finally coming to a close after five years, but she’s not discussing her latest boyfriend. Jules, who is in the process of a divorce, isn’t talking about that either.

We start with Dorinda and flash back to the stupidity of John. Dorinda wears those humongous chain earrings a lot. She’s like, thanks a lot for making me relive that again. Bethenny says her hat’s off to Dorinda for putting her life out there. The Countess asks if John watched the show. Dorinda says he tried to justify his behavior at first, but she told him he was an a-hole and he accepted the mantle.

A fan asks what Dorinda thinks rubs people the wrong way about John. She says her husband was very different, visually as well as intellectually, and she traveled in a different circle, so people aren’t used to it. Sonja says a bunch of stuff that boils down to John not having social skills. The bra party is brought up. Andy asks Bethenny if she was referring to coke when she sarcastically asked if John wanted to “blow some lines.” She says she was, and Dorinda says Bethenny doesn’t know their life. Bethenny doesn’t want the question to go any further. Dorinda asks why Bethenny would insinuate that she does drugs and Sonja says everyone knows she does. What? Andy just moves on and I’m like, hey, go back.

They talk about Bethenny’s birthday party and how she ran from John. Bethenny says her problem is that she can’t pretend, and it makes social situations awkward. Ramona gets a turn on the John bandwagon and we flash back to that drunk guy that John tried to kick out of the party. Then we move to The Countess because she dated that guy. Ramona is asked why she wanted him to stay, and she acts clueless. Andy asks Dorinda about where she thinks her relationship is going and she says they’re both happy the way things are. I’m very distracted by the decor – silver pillows on a plum velvety couch, winter berries in vases and some beautiful pink martini and wine glasses stacked in the background. Andy said they were at The Diamond Horseshoe in Times Square, which I assume is a chic bar.

Ramona’s turn. She’s single and ready to mingle. We flash back to her many moments of flirtatiousness. In one of them, I notice a lady in the background at a restaurant noticing the cameras. My favorite part is when Ramona mispronounces reggae as ra-gay, emphasis on the gay. Andy asks if there’s anyone special, but she says she’s just dating a lot. Dorinda says she went from trapping to hunting. Andy says viewers have seen her as “lighter” this season. She talks about her and Mario going back and forth for a while before they finally divorced. She had always been the caregiver when no one took care of her. I will say, she didn’t really scream and yell at anyone this time around. It’s Groundhog Day when we go back to the pronunciation of reggae and then we move on to The Countess’s way of pronouncing things that’s totally her own.

Dorinda is asked for a review of the guys that Ramona’s been dating, but she’s not talking. She and Sonja get in an argument about how Dorinda feels about Ramona’s dating life. Andy asks how Ramona’s daughter feels about her newly single mother. They all talk about Ramona’s new ta-tas and how great she looks.

We revisit Dorinda’s holiday weekend in the Berkshires. The Countess and Bethenny bicker in those little corner squares while we watch Bethenny rip The Countess a new one during dinner. It culminates with Dorinda’s “I did it nice” speech. Andy asks if there’s a curse on her parties with the women. We go over The Countess’s claim that Bethenny copied her hairstyle. Andy asks for a show of hands, but there are no takers. They discuss Dorinda’s birthday cake. Andy says her kitchen monologue was gripping. Dorinda says at that point she just wanted to be a mother and stop the arguing and I agree – she did sound like someone’s mother. Or that guy in West Side Story who says “You kids! Why do you live like there’s a war on?” Apparently, her tirades have their own Twitter name – dornadoes.

Andy mentions that The Countess acted self-centered when Jules tried to tell her about her father being sick. The Countess says she apologized and Jules says she wasn’t offended since they talk all the time. Bethenny is called out about slut-shaming The Countess. We flash back to the married man thing in Turks and Caicos. The Countess claims he was getting divorced. Pfft! That’s what they all say. She says Bethenny is a hypocrite because Bethenny is dating a married man right at this very minute. She didn’t really say that last part, but I thought it sounded more dramatic.

The Countess says when Bethenny started dating him, he had been married and living at home. I assume she means with his wife and not his parents. The Countess asks what married man she’s slept with, and Bethenny asks who hasn’t she slept with, and Carole adds if The Countess doesn’t know, how would she know? Bethenny jokes that she’s going to come out with a Slutty Girl line.

Andy asks if Bethenny’s boyfriend left his wife for her and she says no. She actually called his wife, who she’d gone to high school with, to make sure everything was cool. The Countess keeps whispering to the others on the other couch. Andy moves back on topic and Bethenny says she called his wife while she was still only friends with him to get a time stamp. Bethenny says if slut-shaming is noticing that The Countess writes etiquette books, but then acts like a whore when she’s out, that’s what she’s doing. Alrighty then!

Andy points out that Bethenny said she liked the new, freewheeling Countess during the last reunion. Bethenny says she got a little too free, swiping men out from under their women’s noses. A fan says that Bethenny is disrespectful to her co-stars and then acts repentant. The Countess says the remorse isn’t genuine and we go back to Bethenny dating a married man because no one can ever let anything go.

Bethenny whips out her phone to call her boyfriend’s daughter. Someone always whips out something. Bethenny asks the daughter if anyone in the family believes she was dating her father while he was married. The daughter confirms that’s a no. She actually talks for a while, but you can’t hear it above the bickering going on.The Countess says the daughter is just defending her father and there’s a mini-debate about whether daughters are more defending of their mothers or fathers. The Countess calls Bethenny a horrible, evil person and Bethenny calls her a liar.

Next time – part two – The Countess loses her title, Bethenny accuses Jules of using the show as a vehicle for her divorce, Tom and Sonja are discussed and Ramona whips out evidence. Told you.

I’m also watching The Real Housewives of Melbourne, although I started late because they snuck it in on me. I like this one because the women are all loud and literally larger than life, reminding me of transvestites, and I mean that in a good way. They wear lavish outfits, throw lavish parties, argue incessantly, and go to places like Dubai, a city I’m fascinated with, but would be scared to actually travel to. I love seeing Australia as well. That’s another place I’d love to visit, but can’t imagine a plane ride that long. This season, we were also treated to a the wedding of Gamble Breaux (yes, that’s her name) on a beach in New South Wales. I recommend this one – if you can keep track of it.

August 29, 2016 – GH’s Killer is Revealed & in the OC, Rifts are Healed

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Lulu is on the phone with someone in regard to the compound explosion. At the end of the conversation, she says she doesn’t believe they really wish they could help her at all and she sounds just like me. I hate when I hear that stuff, or even worse, the old “I understand.” No, you don’t.

Ava gives Hayden a heads up about the diamonds. She doesn’t know what Elizabeth’s plans were, but she thinks the Feds might have them.

Heather digresses, but Franco wants the Jeff Webber story. She says she can tell him the source of the money, but not the why or where, since she made a promise. She says she needs her leverage back to scare Naomi into making payments again. Franco thinks there’s a way for her to keep her promise and still tell him.

Elizabeth tells Finn what’s going on with the diamonds, but he’s disappointed because he’d thought she had a lead on the murders when he heard her say she was calling the cops. She says she wishes, since everyone is on edge, looking over their shoulders, and filing complaints against everything. Finn says that has to stop and then goes over to Monica, telling her that he wants to file a complaint.

Andre visits Jordan at work, bringing her a collectible currency book, thinking it might help her with the cuff-link. She thinks it’s a touching gesture, but also thinks they’ve exhausted the internet. He says what’s important to her is important to him. She asks why he’d have a book like that, and he says he’s a secret nerd. She wonders if he has a Star Wars man cave, but he can’t confirm or deny.

Robert visits Lulu. He tells her that Luke is definitely alive and said he hadn’t been on Cassadine Island “since before the witch breathed her last breath.” Lulu says she thought as much, but it’s a huge relief to have that confirmed. Lulu talks about how Luke went through a lot of changes and needed to go find out who he is now. She doesn’t like it, but accepts it and loves him for who he is. Robert says she and Robin should form a club, since he got the same speech from her. Lulu asks if there was any further message from Luke, and Robert says Luke wanted to warn her about Valentin.

Dante says the warning came late. Robert says he heard about what happened and he’s sorry about Nicholas. He says he’d never heard of Valentin, but now he’s on Interpol’s radar and his files with the WSB have been pulled. Lulu says he’s supposedly the Cassadine all other Cassadines fear. Dante says Valentin’s beef is with his own family and he said he has nothing against the Spencers. Robert says maybe, but Luke thinks he’s dangerous. He and Dante are both going to investigate. Lulu asks if Robert thinks something could have survived the compound explosion.

Franco tells Heather that they can play a getting warmer type game; she can tell him if what he says is possible or not. The result: She was obsessed with Jeff and stalked him after he left Port Charles (or as she puts it, just checking up on him without him knowing). She says he was cheating on his second wife and had a secret relationship with Naomi.

Hayden tells Ava she has to leave town. Ava says to take a bus since there’s less scrutiny. Hayden wonders why the authorities haven’t come for her, and deduces that Elizabeth hasn’t turned the diamonds over. When Ava adds “yet,” Hayden says yet is good and that means there’s still time. She leaves to convince Elizabeth not to do it or stop her.

Monica tells Finn that Dr. Obrecht demanded he be fired. She told Obrecht that where her staff goes and how they get there is none of the hospital’s business, and that she’s bordering on harassment. She suggests Finn drop it though, because it’s not exactly like he’s been forthcoming. She’s going to let it slide for now. She tells Finn that Obrecht has a personal vendetta against him (like he doesn’t know) and is disappointed he’s not the killer.

A code blue alarm sounds. It’s a patient Andre came to see. By the time the other staff members get there, Andre is doing CPR.

Robert says Lulu would know more than him about the explosion, since she was there. She says they didn’t stick around to go through the rubble and she might have left something behind. She explains how Stavros took her embryo for his own purposes, and wonders if it could have survived.

Ava gets called into the police department. Jordan wants to talk to her about a murder and she flashes back to Paul threatening her with the flash drive. Ava says the DA is always coming up with ways to harass her. Jordan says she’s not a person of interest, but her expertise might help with a case, since she’s an art dealer. She shows Ava the coin picture and asks if it looks familiar. Ava says actually, it does.

The patient flatlines. Monica asks what happened. Andre says he was talking with the patient and he seemed fine, but suddenly grabbed his chest, said it hurt, and that was it. Monica sends Elizabeth to get the police. Andre says no one came in and killed him, and asks if she’s implying he had something to do with it. Geez, it’s not like she accused him of anything. Way to make yourself look guilty.

Heather tells Franco that she felt obligated to step in. She went through Naomi’s place and found a positive pregnancy test in the trash can. Naomi was pregnant with Jeff’s baby. Franco asks if Naomi is Elizabeth’s mother. She says Jeff had three girls and doesn’t know about the third. Hayden is Elizabeth’s sister. I KNEW IT!

Lulu explains what happened with the embryo to Robert. She says it’s a long shot, but if the embryo is viable, it’s her last chance at a child that’s biologically her and Dante’s.

Paul comes to the hospital. Andre says a patient had a heart attack and he’s being blamed. Paul asks Monica if he should rule out natural causes. Well, I don’t think she’d get him involved if that wasn’t the case. Monica asks permission to draw blood for testing and Paul asks Andre to stick around .Andre says not without a lawyer, and he’s calling Jordan.

Ava tells Jordan that the coins were really popular a while back. She says a man who wears them likes to show off and present himself as having power. And she’s sure she’s seen someone wearing them.

Hayden approaches Elizabeth and asks if there’s anything she has to tell her. Elizabeth says no, and Hayden tells her that she knows about the diamonds and to hand them over.

Franco is like wha-a-at, Elizabeth and Hayden are sisters? Heather says she waited for Naomi and told her she knew all about the affair. Naomi begged her not to say anything, so she kept her silence for a large amount of money. Naomi was never to see Jeff again and to pay Heather every month. Heather adds that she met someone who told her how to invest it, which is a story for another time. Franco wants to tell Elizabeth immediately and Heather says, no you don’t.

Finn tells Andre that if he doesn’t protect his own rights, no one will. Paul tells Finn to move along and tells Andre that if he’s really innocent, he should cooperate.

Elizabeth tells Hayden that the diamonds don’t belong to her. Hayden says Elizabeth is a hypocrite, who lied to Jason, keeping his family from him, and who conspired with Nicholas, culminating in Hayden getting shot. She adds that Nicholas would be alive if it wasn’t for her. Elizabeth says that she’s not the one who stole the diamonds and hid them. She says too bad they don’t have family cells so Hayden could be locked up with her father. Hayden slaps her and Finn makes an oooh face.

Heather says Franco should think twice, especially since he squandered the last bunch of money she gave him. He says he has to be honest with Elizabeth. Heather keeps saying, “Don’t,” as he walks out.

Finn steps in. Elizabeth wants to tell him what happened and he says he doesn’t care; he just wants it to stop. Finn tells Elizabeth that Monica needs to see her. When she leaves, Hayden tells Finn he made it clear there’s no friendship between them, so leave her alone.

Both Ava and Jordan have the same feeling of recognition. Jordan wonders if the killer is close by.

Elizabeth sees Paul alone in Monica’s office, messing around her desk. He says he was looking for a pen and will tell Monica that she stopped by. When she leaves, it’s revealed that Paul is wearing a surgical glove on one of his hands and is holding a syringe. I think we all knew the second she saw him, but now my mind is trying to go back over where he was when each person was killed. It actually crossed my mind that it was him when he showed up at the hospital so fast, but all of them seem to have Star Trek transporters, so I discarded that as evidence.

Lulu asks Robert if the WSB inventoried the wreckage and if he could check for a thermos or other cold storage container. He says he’ll pull the records. He gets up to leave, saying he’s sorry about Nicholas, but despite all Lulu and Dante have been through, they seem to have it together. Lulu says even if they never have another baby, they have a lot to be grateful for. Robert leaves and Dante says no matter what, he’s with her all the way, but he looks like something is disturbing him.

Franco gets to the hospital, but just misses Elizabeth.

Finn apologizes to Hayden, saying he was going through some stuff when he’d last talked to her. She says she has to catch Elizabeth to make sure she keeps her mouth shut.

Elizabeth skips the elevator and takes the stairs.

Jordan gives a copy of the picture to Ava and says to give her a call if Ava thinks of anything. In the hallway, Ava realizes it’s Paul’s cuff-link and says OMG.

Uh-oh. Paul is sure Elizabeth saw something and goes after her.

Monica says there was no murderous drug in the patient’s system. Andre says he doesn’t appreciate being a suspect and Finn says he understands that. Monica says the last thing they need is another murder at the hospital.

Suddenly, the power goes out in the hospital. In the stairwell, Elizabeth uses the flashlight on her phone. Two hands come from behind and push her down the stairs. No doubt Hayden will be a suspect, but I vote for Paul since he had a head start.

Tomorrow, Nina asks Nathan if he still loves Claudette, Franco looks for Elizabeth, and the source of the power outage is found.

The Real Housewives of the OC

Shannon is still “in a cloud” over the birthday party/vow renewal. The family is having breakfast at the hotel, and then Shannon and David are going to Cabo for a second honeymoon.

Vicki has rented the Merv Griffin estate in Palm Springs for her birthday weekend. Tamra is unsure as to who Merv is. Kelly has no clue who he is, but hopes he’s single. Well, that’s up for debate since he’s dead.

Meghan and Jimmy are going to be in the vicinity of Vicki’s party and Meghan has decided to make an appearance. Meghan tells Jimmy it’s time to move on from the feud. Thank God. Heather is doing something with her kids and isn’t coming, but I think she’s not coming because Kelly will be there.

Vicki talks about dating, and in her interview, Tamra suggests she find someone who has a job, good teeth and doesn’t lie about having cancer. Sounds reasonable. Tamra discusses Vicki’s dating life with Briana. Briana is glad her mom is playing the field because she’s never been single. She says everyone should have their “slutty years,” but she just doesn’t want to hear about it. In the kitchen, Vicki tells Kelly that she’s surprising Briana with Ryan tonight.

Vicki tells Kelly that Meghan wasn’t sure if she could make it, but Shannon is going to Cabo. Vicki says Shannon wouldn’t have come anyway and she’s disappointed that Shannon wants to throw away their friendship. Me too. Vicki isn’t stupid and I honestly think she knew in her heart that Brooks was a liar, but talked herself into believing him. And really, she hurt herself more than anyone else, so what’s the big deal? Tamra tells Kelly and Vicki about Shannon’s surprise party. In her interview, Vicki says she wishes them the best, but it didn’t work for her and Don. We flash back to their vow renewal. She thinks David is going to pay for the affair for the rest of his life. I dunno. If anyone can make a second go of it, it’s those two.

Heather and Terry are having a date night. She says they’ve been doing a lot of work projects together, but it’s nice to have some personal time. Terry says their daughter, Max, has been sending him photos of empty chairs since he hasn’t been able to make her events. It’s the empty dad chair. Terry admits she’s right that he’s been absent. Heather says they’re going in the wrong direction, but the next direction is up to him. He claims that he’s in a situation now where he can be free on weekends and have dinner at home. Heather says she’ll believe it when she sees it.

Kelly asks if Heather is okay with her or hates her. Vicki says hate is a strong word and Tamra says she wouldn’t call Heather mad. So what’s the deal if it’s neither? Kelly thinks Heather acts like she’s better than everyone else. She talks about Heather asking her to leave the party when it wasn’t her party. In her interview, Tamra says she wants to like Kelly, and she is likable, but sometimes she doesn’t think before she speaks.
Heather tells Terry about the apology text that Kelly sent and he rolls his eyes. Heather says she appreciates it, but Tamra said Kelly made fun of her after she left the party. Let me touch on a few points here. Nice of Tamra to do that, but no surprise. When Kelly made fun of Heather, it was directly after their altercation, so no doubt her emotions (and drunkenness) were still high. I’m not making excuses for her – and no woman should ever call another woman the c-word – but I’m just sayin’.

Kelly tells Tamra that she got no reply to her text. Tamra says it has to be more than a text and maybe they should go to lunch. Good luck with that. We know how the lunch with Shannon went. Tamra is having an event for Eddie’s birthday, but is hesitant to invite Kelly, especially since there will be kids around.

The ladies sit down to dinner. Vicki says they’re celebrating Briana’s birthday too. Briana talks about how much she misses Ryan and how he has to get written permission to leave the state, since he’s in the military. Kelly gives both Vicki and Meghan gifts. Tamra has something for Vicki, and she’s like thanks a lot for not telling me it was also Briana’s birthday. The gifts are opened and Vicki tells everyone how much she loves celebrating her birthday. Her son, Mike, shows up and they discuss real estate. She takes him on a tour of the place. Briana’s kids beat him with a pool noodle.

Ryan arrives and Briana starts crying. She’s thrilled that Vicki was able to make it happen. Vicki says the gift of family is the best gift anyone can give. Let me add that cash is good too.

Meanwhile in Cabo, Shannon and David are keeping a video diary of their second honeymoon. We flash back to the last time they were in Mexico. It wasn’t good. In her interview, Shannon says fighting for her marriage was the best thing she ever did. I don’t always agree with Shannon’s choices, but my hat’s off to her with this one. I’m really rooting for them.

Tamra talks to Vicki about inviting Kelly to Eddie’s birthday. She says every time Kelly is around, there’s a scene, and Heather is concerned about bringing her children. In her interview, Vicki wonders how Heather made this about herself. She says Kelly is a mother and understands how to act around children. Kelly comes in and Vicki repeats what Tamra told her.

Commercial break. The original Below Deck is back Tuesday, September 6 at 9 p.m. I have to admit to a TV crush on Captain Lee and couldn’t be more pleased. I must not be the only one, since one of the ads focuses totally on him.

Tamra calls Heather from one of the bedrooms. She tells Heather that Kelly said her beef was with Shannon, not Heather, and was annoyed that Heather told her to leave the party. Heather tells her about the text and Tamra asks why she didn’t respond. Heather mentions Kelly making fun of her and in her interview, Tamra says she still needs to work on her big mouth. Yep. She suggests the three of them go to lunch, but Heather is hesitant. Heather finally tells Tamra she’ll go, but it’s on her, since she doesn’t think she did anything wrong. In her interview, Tamra says being a peacemaker blows and it’s a hard job. Often being the diplomat of the group myself, I agree.

Outside, Kelly talks about what happened at Meghan’s party and how she thinks Heather is overreacting. Tamra joins them and they decide to hang out by the pool. Vicki brings up a time when she and Tamra did too many fireballs and ended up in the pool with their shoes on. They decide to initiate Kelly by pulling her in fully clothed. Then they join her.
Meghan arrives. She comes bearing gifts for Vicki and asks why the three of them are in the pool with their clothes on. Meghan thinks she’s pregnant, and shows them her bump. Since I can see her hip bones framing it, it’s pretty easy to tell. She thanks Vicki for inviting her and Vicki thanks her for letting bygones be bygones.

Back in Cabo, Shannon says the vow renewal and second honeymoon have made her ecstatic, because David did something she didn’t think was possible. They talk about getting naked and I go ♫ la-la-la ♫!

Heather, Tamra and Kelly meet at a Laguna Beach restaurant for dinner. Heather doesn’t really want to be there, but is doing it out of respect for Tamra. Kelly arrives after the other two. Tamra is concerned about being blamed if the dinner goes horribly wrong. Heather breaks the ice by saying she and Kelly had been getting along really well, but the sushi dinner was full of anger and vulgarity. Kelly says she’s ashamed of herself. In her interview, Heather says Kelly has acted unacceptably on a couple of occasions and she has no guarantee that it won’t happen again. Heather brings up Kelly making fun of her after she left, and Kelly says she did it because Heather told her to leave. Heather says she told everyone to leave, but that didn’t happen. Heather says once the c-word is called out, all bets are off. Kelly apologizes again, but adds that Vicki told her that Heather didn’t want her around her children. Heather says she didn’t say that, but that did happen. We flash back to prove both these points. Hmm…seems like Heather has a tendency to make it up as she goes along.

Tamra says the last thing they want is another freak out to happen around children. Kelly says that’s not the way she acts around kids, and that she’d had too much to drink and was emotional. She says her integrity was being attacked, and it hit a nerve. Tamra says both times they’ve seen her in a group setting, it wasn’t good, but does understand how she felt set up at Shannon’s 70s party. Kelly starts to cry. In her interview, she says she feels like she’s treading water and drowning. In her interview, Heather says she believes Kelly’s tears are real, but she can’t forget what happened. For Tamra and the party’s sake she hopes Kelly is telling the truth.

Next time, the pregnancy test results are in, Shannon’s house goes into escrow for real. Eddie’s birthday happens, and so does a dune buggy accident on the beach.

Suggestion: If you’re not watching Too Close to Home, you’re missing out. This latest Tyler Perry venture into nighttime drama isn’t on the OWN network this time, but he’s branching out to TLC. It’s got everything an after dark soap should have, with a compelling storyline and characters you can invest in. And Heather Locklear. I got reeled in immediately.

August 28, 2016 – NJ Wives Go to the Spa & the Feared Dead Go to a Hotel

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Everyone is getting ready for the Crystal Springs spa trip. Dolores wonders why Melissa needs 47 bags for a weekend. So do I. Teresa asks Melissa and Dolores if they’ve talked to Jacqueline. Melissa says she has, but kind of blows off the question. In another car, Jacqueline says they should all be able to play in the same sandbox. In her interview, she says if Teresa doesn’t play nice, she’ll bury her. Not too defensive. Siggy thinks it all comes from insecurity and that Jacqueline is upset because Teresa isn’t as invested in the friendship as she is.

Teresa brings up Jacqueline’s remark about her federal offense. I don’t blame her for thinking that it was a low blow. I think that’s about all Jacqueline is capable of.

Crystal Springs looks amazing and we haven’t even gotten in the door. A butler greets them on the porch with champagne. Everyone claims their rooms. At least Ramona isn’t here. Jacqueline and Siggy arrive after the others and Jacqueline ignores Teresa. Because she’s such a grown up like she said she was. Siggy won’t let this happen and makes Jacqueline say hello to Teresa. Time stops.

In the meantime, Joe #2 is perplexed as to how to feed his kids. He struggles to make some chicken nuggets, wondering how they cook so fast. He’s appreciating Melissa to no end right now. Chris calls as Joe attempts to make some fish. Chris suggests they get together later. At least the popcorn is a success.

It’s dinner time at Crystal Springs. Everyone toasts to friendship and new beginnings. Good luck with that.

The girls discuss different trips they’ve been on. Jacqueline warms up a little when Teresa talks about the trip they went on to Italy. Dolores thinks maybe they just needed to get out of their environment. Jacqueline talks about the new company Chris is starting and how much it costs to raise a child with autism. Siggy says everyone has gone through hardships and talks about living with her parents after her divorce. She says when you’re down, you find out who your true friends are. Melissa talks about not even being able to afford diapers at one point. Teresa tell the group about how so many people thought she should leave Joe #1, but she loves him. Siggy says they’re all survivors at the end of the day, and they toast to that.

Next they go to the fire and water deck, whatever that is. They sit around a fire pit, drinking wine and making s’mores. They discuss when they had their first children, and Jacqueline brings up going ring shopping with her future son-in-law, Pete. Melissa is bummed about missing things with the kids while she’s dealing with her new business. She says when her father passed away, it was devastating for her mother because she’d never worked, and you never know what’s going to happen. Teresa talks about missing the kids when she was in prison camp. Jacqueline gets weepy about it and Teresa invites her and Chris to her book party.

The ladies don their pajamas. Teresa FaceTimes with Joe #1, and she and Jacqueline pretend there’s a big fight going on and Teresa tells him to come and pick her up. Then Jacqueline gives him a cleavage shot. What a couple of comediennes! In her interview, Dolores thinks if they can stay away from discussing the past issues, they’ll be okay. They move on to play wine pong. Tipsy silliness ensues.

Chris plays with his kids. Zzzzz…..

Melissa is the only one who wakes up in full makeup. A chef has arrived to cook a fabulous breakfast. The ladies talk about their kids again. Jacqueline leaves the table and is crying in the bathroom. OMG – they’ve run out of coffee. I’d cry too. Siggy talks to Jacqueline, who is upset because her proud mommy moments are very different from the other women’s. Siggy tells her that Nicholas doesn’t know any different, so it’s not like he’s comparing himself to the other kids. The girls gather around to give support. Melissa says you can’t always be a rock.

Teresa privately tells Dolores that maybe when Jacqueline snapped at her, she was just reacting to how much she has on her plate. Jacqueline is happy about Teresa being supportive. The ladies hang out by the pool on lounge chairs. Melissa talks to Dolores about her relationship with Teresa. In her interview, she says Joe #2 is happy with how things are, so she’s picking her battles. Jacqueline is aware that she and Teresa are being talked about and asks if they’d like to share it with the rest of the class. Dolores asks what they’re talking about, and Jacqueline says they’re talking about what she and Melissa are talking about.

Jacqueline and Teresa go for some spa treatments. Jacqueline talks about getting Nicholas involved with more children. Teresa says Milania loves him and to call her whenever she’s having a bad day. Jacqueline apologizes for saying stupid stuff. Outside, Siggy says she wishes that Jacqueline could see how much Teresa has changed, but Melissa says Jacqueline needs more proof.

The girls are making dinner. Melissa asks Teresa how things are going with Jacqueline. Teresa tells her about Jacqueline’s apology. They grill some steaks and everyone pitches in with the meal.

Chris and Joe #1 go out to eat at Reno’s restaurant. Reno sits with them and Joe talks about how Teresa’s lost weight and has a smaller behind now. He says once he leaves, it will probably be emotional, but there’s nothing he can do about anything, and his main concern is his family’s safety. He’s gotten a German Shepherd that he’s having trained.

The meal the girls have made looks freaking amazing. Everyone is thrilled about how well Jacqueline and Teresa are getting along. Jacqueline talks about how when she gets mad, she says ugly things. Siggy explains that sometimes the two of them just aren’t coming from the same place and it creates a communication problem. Everyone gets goofy during dessert. Teresa sits on some chocolate and much fun is made of the brown mess on the back of her pants.

Jacqueline calls out Melissa and Dolores for talking about her and Teresa at the pool. In her interview, Melissa says Jacqueline’s paranoia is coming into play, because she and Dolores weren’t discussing them. But they were. Teresa says Jacqueline needs to relax and Jacqueline agrees that she thinks too much.

Teresa teaches the girls some yoga. Teresa talks about yoga stimulating going to the bathroom and how you’re encouraged to pass gas. Then she has to explain what queve is. I’m not going to. Look it up. She ends the class with, “Namaste, bitches,” Dina’s old tagline.

Next time, it looks like Dolores might have had to put Boo to sleep 😟, Rosie misses everyone, and Teresa has a book party.

Fear the Walking Dead

Nick wakes up in the La Colonia infirmary. He walks out into the street and wanders around the town. There isn’t another soul to be seen. He sees a little girl crying. He goes to her and looks out to the townspeople saying good-by to one of the men who is about to walk out into a group of zombies. It’s the girl’s father.

The people chant some nonsense in Spanish as the guy walks through a bus to the zombies outside. (I find out later that they’re saying, “From death we come, and to death we deliver ourselves.”) Um…that chanting isn’t going to help anything. Nick moves the girl so she can’t see. No big shock, the man is attacked and eaten. Good job, folks. What did you think was gong to happen? Nick is appalled.

Madison and the others are out driving around looking for Nick and Travis. It’s been two days since they left. Alicia wants to go back. Victor says they’re riding on fumes and should go back to the boat. Madison goes back to the truck.

Nick wanders through the now active marketplace. A lady calls him over. Alejandro tends to one of the men who believes he’s not long for this world.

Uh-oh. The boat’s gone. Victor thinks the military was waiting for them to land and took it. Ofelia suggests they walk into the sea, but Alicia thinks finding shelter in a nearby hotel is a better idea. Alicia tells Madison that it’s the two of them now, whether she likes it or not. A message is left on the beach: Abigail Lost Head North.

The group checks out the hotel. They don’t see anything moving. Even though there might be something unsavory awaiting them inside, they figure better inside than outside. They approach, Victor breaks the front door lock, and they go inside. Alicia wonders where the person who locked up is now. Victor hits the desk bell and Madison asks if he’s out of his mind. He tells her the service stinks there.

Luci tells Nick they have work to do. He follows her. She brings Nick through the bus, fights off some zombies and pins one to a wall. She tells Nick to stay quiet. They put zombie blood on themselves. Nick asks why him and she says no one will miss him.

The group wanders through the hotel. The banquet room has been set up for a wedding. Ofelia says she almost got married once and he was a good man. Victor says not that good, since it was almost. She says he was leaving for New Mexico and she needed to stay with her parents. Victor tells her not to dwell on the past.

Nick asks what was up with the thing that morning. Luci explains that they keep a wall of zombies outside the fence for protection and when one of them gets infected, they volunteer to be one of the wall to protect their people. He asks what if the guy just became lunch for no reason. She tells him he has no faith. She compares it to the ocean cleansing itself and says the dead are returning, and when they go, the world will be new. She tells him that Alejandro was bitten and she saw it happen, but he didn’t turn.

Victor and company continue through the hotel. Alicia wants to split up, but Madison doesn’t like it. Too bad, she goes off with Ofelia anyway. Victor tells Madison she needs and drink and so does he.

Luci takes Nick to see a gang from East Tijuana who deal with supplies. She tells him to keep his mouth shut, that they’ll hang you for looking at them wrong. She gives the guy at the door pharmaceuticals. They give her a cart and tell her to fill it. She says it used to be two, but the guy says it isn’t anymore. Just like the EpiPen!

Victor makes martinis and calls Madison a Southern belle. She tells him his martini is bullsh*t and to bring her the tequila. Ofelia and Alicia go through the rooms. They hear zombie noises from some of them. Alicia notices that someone put “do not disturb” signs on the rooms with the zombies in them. They go inside a safe room and grab some supplies. They find a zombie in a shower who tried to commit suicide, but just got hung up on the shower-head. Alicia puts a do not disturb sign on the door as they leave.

Luci tells Nick to get whatever they can use for the infirmary. He wants to add a package of snack cakes, but that’s a no. No cakes for you. They get quite a few jugs of water as well.

Ofelia tells Alicia there’s still hot water. Alicia empties the mini-bar and asks Ofelia why the guy in the shower gave up. Ofelia says maybe he was tired of surviving. Alicia says you just push on. Ofelia says they’re not going to make it. She talks about her father being one step beyond hope. Alicia says it’s all they have and if they lose that, they’re dead. She tells Ofelia she’s family now.

Luci and Nick leave with the cart. One of the gang members knocks Nick to the ground. Nick has the cookies in his pocket. The guy hits Nick in the head with what looks like a billy club. Why on earth did Nick think he was slick enough to get away with that? On the other hand, technically, the crackers would have fit in the cart, so…

Commercial break. Please, spare me the car ads with Matthew McConaughey.

Gang dude says rats who steal get their paws cut off and prepares to chop off Nick’s hand. Luci translates as Nick threatens them with no more Oxy. He saw gang dude tending to his sick sister, and tells him if she’s without it for a week, he’ll hope she turns, because he’ll want to kill her. He says the gang needs Oxy and La Colonia has it. And if they want it, not only will he let Nick go, but the gang will give them another cart of water. Dude throws him down, but agrees. Nice negotiating, Nick! They could use you on The Walking Dead right about now.

When they leave the area, Luci is concerned about being followed. She says she’s never been followed, but she also never had a stupid gringo threaten them. Nick says sorry.

Madison and Victor talk over drinks. Victor talks about what might have happened had they met at another time. He says he’s a seducer of people who would have it on her and it would have been fun. He says now there’s no world to talk about; there’s not even a bar. Madison says Alicia is right. they’re never going to see Nick again. Victor says Nick is bullet proof and he’s alive. Madison says Nick was born lost, like his daddy. If you leave him alone, he heads toward death.

Victor asks how Nick’s father died. Madison says he was late coming home and went into oncoming traffic. Victor asks if he fell asleep at the wheel and she says that’s what she told the kids. She says she keeps trying to save the kids and they keep dying over and over. Travis stopped it for a while, but now he’s gone. Victor says we can only live with things, we can’t choose. Madison says she didn’t have to be a mother, but she chose to be. She’s getting a little drunk and throws her glass. Then she gets another glass and pours them another shot. They drink to false hope and she throws that glass too.

Victor goes over to the piano, but it’s all out of tune, which is totally appropriate. As he plays, we see zombies locked inside a shop trying to get out. All this noise is attracting their attention.

Alicia takes a shower. She calls to Ofelia that it’s her turn, but then can’t find her. She sees something fall from the roof. She looks over the side of the balcony and sees a couple of zombies take nose-dives off the balconies on the other side of the hotel. Zombies start falling from everywhere and Alicia runs calling for Ofelia. She opens a door to a stairwell and it’s crawling with zombies. I want to see more of the zombies taking headers. That was kind of cool. I do have to lodge a complaint here though. I realize I’m working with a huge suspension of disbelief, even accepting that there has been a zombie apocalypse at all. Cool as it was, these zombies were falling several stories and just getting up. Even if  they’re the undead, they would still have broken bones and not be able to walk away. Okay. I feel better now.

Nick and Luci make it back to La Colonia. Nick sees the little girl whose father went to the wall and gives her the cakes. Luci sees and realizes Nick isn’t the selfish dumbass she thought he was. Nick goes to see Alejandro. He says he heard Nick almost started a war. Nick says he thought the little girl needed something, some comfort, and there should be some things that are not about death. Alejandro says when they run out of cake and drugs, where will they turn? Nick says what good is faith when the water runs out? Alejandro says when the world is washed of death, the faithful will remain. He says they are the chosen who will outlast death. Nick sees the healed bite mark, and Alejandro tells him that he’s welcome to stay, but if he puts the people in danger again they’ll feed him to the wall.

Victor and Madison are getting really sloshed. Victor is banging on the out-of-tune piano and Madison is flinging glasses around. Victor looks out the floor to ceiling window and sees the zombies falling outside the widow and says they have to go now. Too late. Zombies are getting in everywhere.

Alejandro makes a speech to the people about the Lord and how life is a sigh between two deaths. He tells them the migration of the dead has begun. He says that the world is for them, the faithful, and death will not take them. The people start their chant and Nick joins them. Alejandro says as long as he lives, they’ll never leave.

This is interspersed with Victor and Madison fighting the zombies without conventional weapons, using liquor bottles and chairs. Holy! They’re surrounded.

Next time, Alicia shows what she’s made of, and Travis and Chris get involved with a new group of people who look pretty militant.

August 24, 2016 – GH’s Franco Gets the Girl, Little LA’s Briana Gets Served & The Countess Gets the Truth

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Lulu talks to Dante about missing Nicholas. They discuss the upcoming baby making.

Franco tells Elizabeth this is a change, usually he’s chasing her. She says she really needed someone to talk to and she shows him the diamonds.

Naomi tells Hayden she needs to get out of Windemere and Port Charles, and away from Elizabeth. Hayden sees the box from Greece.

Finn talks to his dead wife. He thinks he’s close to an answer. He leaves his office and leaves the small recorder he’s been using on the desk. Obrecht comes in and starts looking over his paperwork.

Kristina can’t find her phone and Molly apologizes for tossing it into the bushes. They’re having dinner at the MetroCourt and Alexis enters. Molly set things up because she wants Kristina to make her peace with Alexis.

Elizabeth explains how she got the diamonds. She thinks everything washed ashore after Nicholas died. She also tells Franco about Ava, and how she said that she and Nicholas bonded. She says Ava claimed to want the boot for something to remember him by. Franco says Ava doesn’t have a sympathetic bone in her body and a boot is hardly a memento. Elizabeth says she doesn’t know what to do with the diamonds. Franco suggests giving them to Laura or Spencer (really? although Spencer might actually be the most mature of the bunch), but Elizabeth says Nicholas stole them from Hayden. Here’s what I think. Nicholas is still alive and sent those diamonds back to Windemere or had someone else do it. First of all, that boot didn’t look like it had been soaked and secondly, I doubt the pouch of diamonds would have never stayed inside of it.

Hayden realizes that it’s Nicholas’s stuff in the box. Naomi suggests searching through it for the diamonds.

Finn asks Obrecht what she’s doing. She asks what he’s doing. He grabs his research and she says she’s already seen it and it explains why he was sneaking around on Sonny’s plane, because he’s dealing with dangerous drugs. She thinks he and Sonny are in cahoots to sell something on the black market and she’s going to report it to the authorities.

Lulu tells Dante about the IVF procedure. They figure she’ll be pregnant in October. Dr. Lee calls and Lulu asks if her ears were burning. Dr. Lee has bad news.

Molly says she tricked Alexis too. Alexis says she’d love Kristina to stay, but if not, she’ll leave. A reporter comes up to Alexis asking her about her suspension. Thanks, dooood.

Elizabeth tells Franco that the diamonds had been a necklace and when the government seized Raymond Berlin’s assets, it shoud have been with them, but Hayden had it broken down and hid it. Franco says those diamonds could pay for all of her kids’ college educations.

Alexis tells the reporter that if he doesn’t get lost, she’s calling security. He backs off and Molly asks if what he said was true. Alexis tells her yes, she’s suspended for a year, but she was waiting to tell them. She says it’s a cautionary tale on how not to define yourself by your career. Kristina says it’s her fault for wishing it.

Finn tells Obrecht to start with the FDA, who he’s working with on infectious diseases. Obrecht says she should talk to Valerie about it.

Naomi says there are no diamonds in the box. Hayden is hugging Nicholas’s blazer and Naomi apologizes for being insensitive. Hayden says Nicholas could have hidden the diamonds anywhere, but most likely they were on him and are gone forever. Naomi says all the more reason to start her life somewhere else, since there’s nothing there for her. Hayden says she’s starting to think there might be.

Elizabeth says as much as she hates Hayden, she doesn’t want to make a decision based on bad motivation . Franco says whatever happens to Hayden is her fault. Elizabeth says she’ll turn them in then, and let the chips fall where they may. Franco asks why she would come to him with a moral dilemma.

Finn asks what happened with Valerie. Obrecht says he must know, since he was the perpetrator. Finn tells her to do her worst. Oooh! She swipes his recorder as she leaves.

Naomi tells Hayden that Finn is an addict and she shouldn’t feel badly just because her father squandered his research money. Hayden says that Finn has a disease. Naomi thinks Hayden is gullible when it comes to men because of her father. Hayden says she couldn’t pick her father, but Naomi picked her husband. She walks out and Naomi’s phone rings. It’s Heather.

Elizabeth says she wanted to talk things out with someone who wouldn’t judge her. Franco says he can’t do this anymore. He says she knows how he feels about her and it’s time she either like him back or don’t. He wants her to decide now.

Kristina says she was just mad about Parker. Alexis says she knows Kristina didn’t mean it and the only one at fault for the suspension is her. She says she let her judgement get clouded and she’s sorry. Molly and Kristina tell her they love her.

Dante gets off the phone. Lulu asks how this could have happened. I don’t even get what happened, but the outcome is that Lulu can’t have another baby. She cries in Dante’s arms. Lulu says the embryo tested viable when Obrecht (red flag) returned it and she can’t figure out what went wrong. Dante says it could have been anything and they’re closer than ever.

Alexis says she wasn’t thinking clearly and shouldn’t have interfered with Kristina and Parker, and apologizes. Kristina says that’s all she wanted and ultimately Alexis was right. Alexis gives Kristina her phone. She says Aaron found it and returned it to her. Kristina tells Alexis how the phone got lost and sees that Parker called her back.

Heather wants to see Naomi right away. Naomi isn’t happy, but says she’ll be there.

Hayden comes to Finn’s office, saying that the cactus is still alive and well. She tells him what her mother said about her having nothing in Port Charles and wonders if she’s wrong. Finn says she’s right; Hayden should get away from there and him. He says this is about her and her pinning her future on another man.

Elizabeth tells Franco she was raped. He tells her he’s sorry and she says it was a long time ago. She says even though she recovered, it changed her forever. Franco says she’s endured too much, and he realizes no matter how he’s changed, she’ll believe that he’s someone who’s capable of hurting her. He says he can’t do the back and forth dance anymore and asks her to leave.

Hayden asks why Finn is talking to her this way. He says she wanted him to beg her to stay. She says, no, but it would be nice if he said he’d miss her if she left. He says she doesn’t need justification from a man. He says he’s no prince and has no interest in being the next man she uses to define herself. She’s surprised that’s what he thinks of her. He says she’s beautiful, smart and funny, and if she stays, she should stay for a better reason, but if she leaves, go find someone who isn’t going to die on her. She tells him she wants nothing from him and to go to hell.

Alone, Finn tells his dead wife he did it for Hayden’s own good, so why does he feel badly? He can’t find his recorder because Obrecht is listening to it.

Franco says it’s too painful for this to continue. Elizabeth says she can’t shake Jake telling her that Franco makes her happy. He says he’s perceptive, but it has to be something she wants and he can’t keep going back and forth. Elizabeth says it’s on her and she came to him with an ethical dilemma because she knew he wouldn’t hurt her. Franco says she’s right. He’s probably always going to say or do inappropriate things, but he’d never intentionally hurt her. She says she believes him and they kiss. I get a little teary. Even though I’m no fan of Elizabeth’s, it’s nice to see Franco get what he wants.

Lulu asks Dante what if they still have a chance. She says there’s still an embryo that Stavros stole and what if it’s still out there? Dante says no way it survived the explosion.

Molly tells Kristina not to read too much into it because Parker didn’t leave a message. What if it was a butt dial? The girls go back and forth. Alexis says it appears nothing has changed. She says it didn’t take much persuasion for Parker to walk away. Kristina asks if Alexis would have preferred Parker try to kill her like what happened with her and Julian. We see the reporter recording everything as they argue. Kristina leaves the table and Alexis grabs her and tells her to stop being so self-involved and grow up.

Dante tells Lulu to remember what they have and stay positive. He adds that Spencer lost his father and there are lots of kids around for them to love.

Obrecht listens to Finn’s recording. He walks into her office and catches her. He asks how much she heard and she says more than enough. He tells her if she makes a move against him he’ll kill her with his bare hands.

Hayden asks Naomi to make her a drink. Naomi asks if it’s a celebration. Hayden says she’s starting over whether its there or someone else and she’ll teach the doubters how wrong they are. They drink to the future.

Franco asks Elizabeth if she’s sure this is what she wants. They start to get busy and there’s a bugle call. It’s a phone reminder for Elizabeth to pick up the boys. She tells Franco maybe he wants to think it over. She’s a single mom with three boys and this is what her life is like. He says maybe she wants to get a babysitter again and they can have a real date. She says she wants to take her time, but she is going to see him again. They kiss.

Kristina yells at Alexis to let go of her. Alexis says she’s sorry and Kristina says every time Alexis says it, she believes it less. She walks out. Molly tells Alexis that Kristina is an adult and she can’t control her the same way she couldn’t control Julian, and look what that got her. Molly asks if she can afford to lose anything else.

Tomorrow, Sonny thinks Jason isn’t telling him something, Kristina visits Parker, and Jordan shows Alexis the reporter’s video.

Little Women: LA

Kerwin and Tonya go bike riding. Tonya is trying to whip him back into shape. She’s having a Western style barbecue to welcome Kerwin to LA. She’s unsure about inviting Terra since they haven’t been getting along. She brings up how Terra won’t let the lotus flower logo discussion die. She doesn’t want to argue while Terra is pregnant. Kerwin thinks they should resolve things right away.

Christy and Todd are walking in the park. They sit at a picnic table and Todd says he’s been considering looking for his birth parents. He was adopted as a baby and now that he’s older, wants to know more about his medical history. It was a closed adoption, which throws a wrench into things.

Joe and Terra go vegetable picking, along with Jasmine and Chris. Since both of the girls are pregnant, they’re trying to eat more healthfully. Terra asks Jasmine if she’d prefer an average sized child or a little one. Jasmine says because of her own health issues, and average sized child might be preferable. She talks about her hair loss problem and how she was made fun of for that as well. She says it took her a long time to accept herself as a little person. Terra says she thinks every little person goes through a time of wishing they were otherwise.

While they’re paying for the vegetables, Jasmine talks to Terra about her meeting with Tonya. She says Tonya was really hurt by Terra’s comments about her logo. Terra thinks she’s the only one being honest and she doesn’t want Tonya to fail. She says that Tonya clearly talked about this with Christy and she’s not too happy about that either. Jasmine asks if she’s going to Tonya’s party, but so far, she hasn’t been invited.

Briana tells Matt that the doctor has said her fluid is too high, and it can cause premature birth. She says she had no problem with having her daughter, but with this pregnancy, she’s been in and out of the hospital. Matt asks who he should call when the baby comes. Briana says a group text is fine, but leave out Christy. She’s done with the friendship. She’s trying to build a relationship with Matt and doesn’t want Christy getting in the way.

Todd is going to talk to his adoptive father about finding his birth father. Christy hopes he’ll be supportive. His father is understanding. Todd tells him that Christy was nervous that he’d be upset, but he just laughs. Todd says he also wants to thank his birth parents for giving him great adoptive parents. His father says Todd was a lot of fun to raise.

Terra meets with Tonya’s daughter, Angelique. She tells Angelique that she and Tonya have been on the outs and she wants to make things right. Angelique says Tonya thinks Terra is crapping on her, but Terra says that’s not her intention. Terra asks for an invite to the party and Angelique tells her that she’s inviting her. Terra asks what Kerwin thinks, but Angelique hasn’t discussed it with him and thinks Tonya is settling as far as her relationship with him goes.

Tonya needs to let out some frustration, so she goes to the gym and does a boxing class. Angelique is with her and she asks if Tonya invited Terra to the party. Tonya says they haven’t been talking. Angelique doesn’t think that’s right and Tonya says, you invite her then. Angelique says she already did and tells Tonya about the meeting, which annoys her. Angelique says Terra wasn’t trying to hurt her, but Tonya won’t listen to any more.

Briana and Terra go baby shopping and discuss their pregnancies and surgeries. Briana talks about being unable to thrive when she was a baby and being underdeveloped. Terra says she didn’t walk until 14 months, but at 15 months, Penny still isn’t. Briana thinks once Penny has a little brother or sister, she’ll move ahead because she’ll want to keep up.

Briana asks about the rift with Tonya and Terra tells her about the meeting with Angelique, and how Angelique invited her to the party. She says Tonya won’t even answer her texts. In her interview, Terra talks about Tonya being her family when she moved to LA and she can’t believe she wasn’t even invited to the party. She tells Briana that she’s going and she’s not leaving until Tonya talks to her. Well, we all know how uninvited guests go on a reality show and it’s never pretty.

Tonya is getting ready for the party. She’s miffed about Angelique inviting Terra. The party venue is a pseudo ranch, with picnic tables and various animals in open stalls. In her interview, Jasmine says the last time they wore cowboy hats, the night ended with police reports. Christy shows up and Briana barely acknowledges her. Tonya is nearly as rude when Terra shows up.

Tonya thanks everyone for coming and says she planned this for the love of her life, Kerwin. Jasmine asks how Terra is feeling and she says awkward. She tells Elena and Jasmine that Tonya didn’t invite her, even though she knows Kerwin well. She thinks Tonya is purposely sharing things with Christy to get under her skin. Elena says she’s just making an assumption. Terra says regardless, she doesn’t want Christy knowing her business. She says she’s not leaving until they talk it out.

It’s time for the mechanical bull. Kerwin lasts about ten seconds, although none of the other guys do much better. Tonya does pretty well, but it wasn’t too speedy for her. The food is next and it looks damn good. Wise to do the eating after the bull riding. Terra and Joe are sitting by themselves and discuss Christy and Todd. Joe says he wants to talk to Tonya. When Terra says if she talks to him, she’ll be upset since Tonya isn’t talking to her, Joe asks if she gets along with anybody.

Christy gets weepy about Briana. Um…this is not the place. Uh-oh, here’s comes a guy who looks like a process server. He’s the attorney for Julie, Briana’s ex-publicist. He says she’s in default of a signed agreement and she has thirty days to rectify it. Matt is sure Christy told him where Briana was going to be. He says it shows how classy they both are. In her interview, Briana says that’s the only way Julie could have known where she was.

Terra asks what’s up and Briana tells her, and says that Christy must have been involved. In her interview, Terra says she never thought she’d say this, but Christy is making Matt look good. Joe asks Terra what’s going on, but Terra says until the news is out, she’s not saying anything.

A guy comes out to give lasso lessons. Terra manages to rope the guy instead of the fake cow. Terra asks to talk to Tonya. She doesn’t want the fight over the activewear to destroy their friendship. Tonya says some of what Terra told her was constructive criticism, but she said she doesn’t see Tonya as a face of fitness. She says it’s her vision, not Terra’s. Terra moves to Tonya inviting Christy and Tonya counters with Terra meeting with Angelique to get an invite. Elena comes over and asks if everything is okay. She tells Tonya that Terra was hurt about not being invited and that she doesn’t see a future for the activewear line either. Tonya says Jasmine hasn’t even seen it and she doesn’t care what either one of them thinks anyway. Party over.

Next time, more fitness, Briana discusses Christy with Matt who accuses Christy of being on drugs, Tonya confronts Angelique about what she said about Kerwin.

The Real Housewives of NYC

Dorinda goes to The Countess’s room. The Countess tells her the bad news about Tom. Jules joins them and The Countess goes to Bethenny’s room and asks to see the picture. Bethenny gives The Countess her phone. Yep, that’s Tom making out with someone at The Regency bar. Bethenny tells her that he was making out with this girl for an hour and he was very drunk, even leaving her with the tab. The Countess runs to the bathroom.

The Countess tells Dorinda and Jules. Dorinda is shocked that it happened and also that Bethenny chose to tell The Countess just before they’re leaving Miami. Dorinda asks if she’s sure about the date and tells her to get all the facts first. I totally get why Bethenny did this just before they left. She didn’t want to ruin the trip, but she wanted The Countess to know before she went back to the city.

Sonja, Carole and Ramona go to Bethenny’s room where she’s hiding under the blanket. Ramona tells her not to blame herself and that it’s already all over NYC and this wasn’t the first time. Ramona says she wishes someone had prepared her before she found out about Mario on Page Six of the Post. Bethenny says she and The Countess aren’t that close and she hated to be the one to tell her. Ramona says better her than The Countess finding out through the press. Bethenny orders Sonja to get her some alcohol, stat.

Dorinda encourages The Countess to call Tom. She says The Countess will get through it one way or another.

Bethenny says she didn’t want things to be gossipy. The Countess knocks on her door and she asks the others to leave. The Countess claims she was with Tom on the day in question, so this isn’t possible. Bethenny, between a million apologies, tells her she talked to the manager there, trying to do a CSI before anything was said. In her interview, Bethenny says if you’re going to drop a bomb, you have to be ready to answer follow-up questions. Bethenny suggests The Countess needs to have her info lined up before she talks to Tom. The Countess asks if Bethenny knew when they got there and she says she did. The Countess gets a text from Tom saying he’ll call her later.

Bethenny says she knows The Countess loves Tom, but she’s not so sure she’d trust him. The Countess says she knows Tom loves her, but he was probably drunk. In her interview, Bethenny says The Countess should run and that the whole thing happened too fast. The Countess asks how Bethenny could keep it to herself. She says she spoke to Carole, but only because she had to tell someone.

The rest of the girls discuss. Sonja wonders why everyone is so surprised.

The Countess says she’s not going to let this ruin her marriage. Bethenny gives her the time frame and the phone rings. Bethenny tells The Countess to use her bathroom. Apparently, Tom says he has no recollection of anything. The Countess keeps telling him she saw the picture and asking how he could do this, especially in public. She finds out that after he left her, he went out. He tries to make it sound like it was just a kiss, but The Countess says it was going on for over an hour. He claims it will never happen again, but she says how can she know that? Bethenny wishes she could disappear and not hear all this. The Countess says she can’t do this right now and walks back to her room.

The Countess tells the other girls that she needs to handle things. She doesn’t want to talk about it anymore. Ramona is crying and tells her they’ll work it out. In her interview, Sonja says The Countess doesn’t want to deal with reality because she just wants ot get married. Yep. The Countess tells Dorinda she doesn’t want to talk about it and proceeds to talk about it. Dorinda says she didn’t know this side of Tom. She says he has to make it right because they’re all too old for this. The Countess demands a Bloody Mary and calls for Bethenny. She’s pretty distressed that everyone and their mother knows.

Bethenny – oh, I got distracted by The Countess’s ultra cool sunglasses – tells The Countess this is why she asked her if they were monogamous. She thought maybe they had an arrangement. She gives The Countess some straight vodka. The Countess agrees that she would rather know now. Carole says saying he doesn’t remember is the oldest line in the book. The Countess goes to pack.

Carole tells Bethenny that The Countess is in total shock. Ramona says if he’s doing this now, it’s not going to stop.

Back in the city, The Countess checks into a hotel. She says she needs to wrap her head around this. She and Tom are meeting the next day and she needs to make a conscious decision about things. She calls Jules, since she can’t get ahold of Dorinda. She asks if it’s too early to start drinking. In her interview, The Countess begins to justify Tom’s actions.

Dorinda is sick and Ramona comes over bearing chicken soup. Ramona says The Countess doesn’t want to deal with pain, so she sweeps things under the rug. That’s an understatement.

Carole visits Bethenny. Bethenny says she’s reached out to The Countess several times, but she’s not texting back. She wonders if she’s the bad guy now. She tells Carole about The Countess telling Tom how dare he do this publicly, and focusing on what things looked like, rather than the actual problem.

Dorinda tells Ramona that The Countess called her from The Regency and handed the phone over to Tom. She says Tom wants to bring waiters to Dorinda’s to “explain” things and have Dorinda be the messenger to the other girls. When she said no, he told her if she didn’t do it, she’s not invited to the wedding and not allowed to be friends with The Countess anymore and hung up on her. Are we five? Is he Dorinda’s father? What’s up with that? Tell you what, if someone I was engaged to said something like that, we’d be done. What a d-bag, tool, and whatever other crappy word comes to mind.

Ramona calls Tom an a-hole, saying he should just admit what he did and apologize. Dorinda says there’s no getting away from the pictures. Ramona says this isn’t the first time and it’s not going to be the last. She says they haven’t even gotten to know one another and you can’t base a relationship on lies.

Bethenny tells Carole that Tom wanted Dorinda to “take a bullet” for him. Bethenny is also having a party and wonders if Tom is going to be there and how awkward that might be.

The Countess tells us that she and Tom talked and he’s devastated. She says the kiss meant nothing. They’d had an argument and Tom went to The Regency and “fell into the girl’s clutches.” Please, please and please. And why didn’t we hear about this argument earlier? She says she’s not going to let a silly kiss ruin her life. She calls Jules and asks if she can go to the party with her. All of a sudden she wants to confront Bethenny about her detective work and why she’s so curious about Tom. Um…somebody else sent her the picture and brought this into her life.

The venue where Bethenny is having her fiesta looks awesome. There’s a photo booth with props and a Margarita pinata with 10K worth of both fine and good costume jewelry in it. I want to go to one of Bethenny’s parties. Adam has a new short haircut that’s a hit with the ladies. Bethenny says Carole and Adam are the only ones who really seem like their relationship is a good one. When The Countess arrives, she says she’s working on things. In her interview, Bethenny says The Countess and Tom are already out and about partying and The Countess has low self-esteem. She says you have to love yourself in order to not get taken advantage of.

Sonja has been set up with Rocco. She says he has good qualifications, but she doesn’t know if he’s the boyfriend for her yet. She says The Countess has been keeping her distance, since she doesn’t even want to deal with the first issue of Sonja having dated Tom.

Here comes John with Dorinda. We haven’t seen him in a while. He and Bethenny have come to a truce. I don’t even hear what Bethenny says because I’m concentrating on the pinata, but The Countess comes flying over, saying if Bethenny doesn’t stop talking about her, she’s leaving. Okay, I know she didn’t say anything about The Countess. Bethenny says if she wants to leave, fine, but they were talking about the pinata. In her interview, Carole says Tom should have been the pinata. The Countess says don’t talk about Tom, but Bethenny says they weren’t talking about him either.

Ramona says she couldn’t sleep and The Countess tells her to shut up about Tom. Ramona says she was thinking about Mario. The Countess says she and Tom are in therapy and in her interview, Ramona wonders if they’re doing therapy at the bar. She doesn’t understand why The Countess wants to “succumb” to this kind of relationship.

Jules has an eighth anniversary coming up. She says the number eight is lucky in the Asian culture and is hoping that it brings them good fortune. D’oh!

Dorinda wants an apology fir being dragged into the Countess/Tom thing, but says the party isn’t he place to discuss it. Thank you. The Countess talks to Adam and Carole and manages not to breath fire. Jules tells Bethenny that Dorinda told her she should stand up for herself and that Bethenny said she’s like a sick patient. Bethenny calls over Dorinda, who says she doesn’t remember what she said and Bethenny says she’d better remember something. Geez. Dorinda says Bethenny said Jules reminds her of her mother and can’t be around her. Bethenny says she’s allowed to have a perspective and feelings.

Dorinda tells Ramona she’s sweating bullets and Ramona blots her pit with a bar napkin. Eww! Bethenny tells Jules she loves her, but doesn’t apologize. Everyone does the photo booth thing and Jules puts a giant cardboard watermelon slice on her head. Personally, I like Carole’s choice of teeny tiny sombrero.

Bethenny tells The Countess she heard The Countess was angry with her. The Countess wonders why Bethenny had so many details. She tells Bethenny to stay out of her life with Tom and what happened means nothing. Bethenny says she shouldn’t have told her and if she sees him screwing someone on the street, she’ll keep her mouth shut. The Countess says she and Tom love each other and Bethenny says she could tell by the way he acted two weeks into the engagement. The Countess says Tom made a mistake, she’s a grown woman and will make her own decisions. She leaves. In her interview she says she just wants to be with Tom and be in her own bubble. Exactly. Finally, a word of truth from this woman.

It’s pinata time! The only rule is that no one can get two pieces of the fine jewelry. The girls rip the pinata apart. Dorinda gets a diamond martini glass. Ramona loses her shoe in the frey.

Since it’s the finale, we get some parting words about each of the women. Sonja has had three dates with Rocco; Jules is in the process of divorce; John and Dorinda are still dating, but not living together; Carole and Adam are still together, but the cookbook is on the back burner; Ramona is still dating, but making sure none of them have dated her friends: The Countess’s wedding is still on; Bethenny is finally done with her divorce – no more bleeding financially or otherwise.

Bethenny makes a toast to the empowerment of women and says they’re all still standing.

Next time – The Reunion part one.

My favorite exchange this season – The Countess: Don’t let it be about Tom. Bethenny: It’s about Tom.

August 22, 2016 – Let’s Go to GH for Coffee & the OC for a Birthday Party

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Jordan talks shop on the phone as she enters her apartment. She hears someone moving around and says to freeze, she has a gun. Put that gun away. It’s Andre. Um…you did give him the key.

Kiki meets Morgan at the coffee kiosk and Ava sees them kiss. I want a shirt like Morgan is wearing with the kiosk logo on it.

Carly asks Sonny if everything is cool, since he’s late. He says he had something to take care of. Yeah, Julian. Nell visits bearing flowers.

Lucy sees Doc in the hospital elevator. He’s being released. She says he looks pretty spiffy and wonders if he has a date with Laura.

Laura, looking pretty spiffy herself, talks to Elizabeth, who feels badly about not coming to the funeral. Laura tells her it’s fine and she’s going to dinner with Doc. Elizabeth asks about Spencer. Laura says Spencer slept in her room last night. She thinks it makes him miss Nicholas not saying good-night less. She says they had an interesting conversation, and he wants to go to boarding school in France, something Nicholas had promised him. Laura asks if she should let him go away and Hayden appears, saying over her dead body.

Andre reminds Jordan that she gave him the key and they were supposed to meet after work. He tells her that he was setting up something special. She apologizes for forgetting. He’s made some Pad Thai that he says puts take-out to shame and she says clearly she has a lot to learn about him. He says he’ll get dressed so they can eat, because apparently he cooks shirtless, and she says she has a better idea. My idea is that cooking with any kind of oil while not wearing a shirt is a bad idea.

Carly tells Nell that Josslyn is out, and dinner’s not quite ready yet. Nell says sorry she’s early, but that’s the way the buses roll. Carly says she could have sent a car and also suggests she put Nell up at the MetroCourt. Nell says paying her own way is important to her and Sonny says he was the same way.

Kiki asks Ava what she’ doing there, and Ava says getting coffee. Kiki asks if there’s anything Ava wouldn’t do to drive her and Morgan apart, and we flash back to Ava messing with Morgan’s meds. Ava says that Kiki will understand when she’s a mother, and that she had a private conversation with Dillon that she thought would remain private. Morgan wonders why Kiki didn’t tell him about it.

Elizabeth tells Hayden that decisions about Spencer are Laura’s to make. Laura says it breaks her heart to send him away, but she has to consider his wishes. Hayden and Elizabeth start to argue, but Laura stops it. She says that elite families attend the boarding school that Spencer wants to go to, and it has very tight security. She’s concerned about Valentin still possibly being a threat. Hayden says if she sends Spencer away, she’ll lose him forever.

Lucy walks Doc to the MetroCourt. She wants to give him dating advice, but he’s not receptive to it. He tells her he’s glad they’re friends again, but it’s none of her business. His phone rings and she grabs it, reading the message from Laura that she’s going to be late.

Hayden tells them about her own relationship with her father. They had been very close and he got got distant when she was in high school. To protect her from the infighting between them, her parents sent her to boarding school and she hated it. Her mother walks in behind her and says, “Really?” I hate that woman. She pops up at the worst times.

Nanny Deirdre brings Avery home and Carly introduces her and Avery to Nell. Deirdre points out how “fire” Carly’s earrings are, and how she could never afford a pair like that. Carly says no matter what they cost, Avery will be after them, and takes them off. Deirdre goes upstairs to get Avery’s things ready for a visit with Ava. Carly explains to Nell how Avery has a different mother, but Sonny wants Avery to have a relationship with her. Nell says she’s seen a toll taken on children because of their parents. She says Avery is a lucky girl.

Morgan tells Ava to back off. She says sooner or later, he’ll hurt Kiki again and she won’t just be standing by.

Some dude demands service at the kiosk. Kiki tells him Morgan will be back in a minute. He suggests Kiki whip something up for him and tries to make a pass at her. He touches her and she backs away. He tells Kiki to relax and she tells him to drop dead. He says he pulls in six figures and can pay for more than a coffee. Kiki says she’s not for sale and walks away, but when dude tries to follow her, Morgan steps in.

Afterglow and Pad Thai at Jordan’s. She orders Andre to quit his job and just cook. She says maybe she can make an exception for some things – like cooking in the bedroom. I added that last part. They get busy and her evidence folders get knocked over. Andre sees the picture of the coin and says he’s seen it before.

Naomi claims to have come to give support. Hayden suggests they have dinner somewhere else. Laura makes a soap opera face at Elizabeth.

Doc tells Lucy he’s having dinner with Laura. She brings up how well he’s dressed and he says she must be meeting someone too, considering what she’s wearing. Like we’ve ever seen Lucy not dressed well, even in her underwear. She tells him she’s meeting Scotty.

Morgan steps on dude’s earpiece and dude punches him. A fight starts and Kiki calls Sonny. She tells him that Morgan is in trouble and to get to the kiosk.

Sonny apologizes for leaving dinner before dessert. Deirdre says Avery’s stuff is ready for her overnight. Nell starts to clear the table and bumps Deirdre. Deirdre drops her bag and Carly’s earrings fall out.

Kiki tries to stop the fight and dude calls her a stuck up bitch. Morgan brings his fist back for a good punch in the face. Kiki tells Morgan to stop. Ava shows up, asking if Kiki really wants to live her life like this. Finally Morgan lets dude go, telling him to get lost, but dude says he’s calling the cops.

Deirdre says she has no idea how the earrings got in there. Carly wants her key back. She tells Deirdre she’ll pay her for the week, but she’s fired. Nell is playing with Avery and tells Carly maybe Deirdre was telling the truth. Carly says she has to be particular about security measures and can’t take chances. She says her search for a nanny is back on. You see where this is going and how it got there, right?

The cops show up at the coffee kiosk..

Andre says it’s a Roman coin from whatever A.D. Because Andre has already been consulted on the murders, Jordan explains about Valerie and the cuff-link. Andre asks if she thinks the murderer was trying to get the cuff-link back. Jordan says she thinks it’s a good lead, but she also thinks she knows who it belongs to. She believes that the killer is right under her nose, but she can’t see it.

Ava shows up at Sonny’s and asks why she saw the nanny being escorted from the property. Carly says something about her being a thief and Ava is like, I don’t want that around my daughter. She asks if Nell is the new nanny and Carly says it’s none of her business. Ava goes upstairs to get Avery. Carly tells Nell that in the beginning, they were just like the parents Nell described, but Sonny realized that he had to change that for Avery’s sake. She tells Nell that Ava is more copacetic, but still can’t be trusted. Upstairs, Ava sneaks into Morgan’s room, confirming what Carly just said.

Morgan tells the cops that dude bothered Kiki. One of the officers asks if Kiki is okay and if Morgan wants to press charges. He says he just wants dude gone and the cops escort dude out. Sonny arrives, but Kiki says Morgan had it under control.

Doc says he didn’t know Lucy was seeing Scotty. She says it’s just casual, and Doc says he gets it. She apologizes for rubbing it in his face. He says when she cheated with Scotty, it hurt him, but he’s past that. He does think Scotty isn’t good enough for her though. She brings up that they’re two formerly married couples switching partners. Please, don’t suggest a double-date.

Laura wants to cancel her dinner plans. She says going out after losing Nicholas doesn’t seem right. Elizabeth says Nicholas wouldn’t want her to stop living, and Doc is probably the only man he’d deem worthy of her attention.

Hayden and Naomi sit down to dinner. Naomi says she didn’t realize how much Hayden hated school. Hayden says Elizabeth just got under her skin and thanks Naomi for being supportive. Naomi says she had her lawyers go over the financials, and it’s not good – Laura has been put in charge of everything. Naomi tells her to come back to the city. She says Hayden doesn’t need to be around Elizabeth and Hayden asks what she’s talking about.

Andre says serial killers feel like they’re bringing order to the chaos in their lives because of some real or imagined slight. He says they’re usually arrogant micro-managers who are also charismatic. She says he just described half the doctors at GH and it could even be him. I hope she’s kidding around, although he’d be one of the few men who might wear cuff-links. I have to add that at the beginning of the scene, Jordan gave him some coffee while he was talking and he threw a thank you her way in the middle of the sentence, which made it seem like a real conversation. Bravo, Anthony Montgomery!

Laura meets Doc and thanks him for encouraging her to get out. Lucy sends over champagne.

Elizabeth talks to Nicholas’s picture. The old Nicholas’s picture. Hmm… This makes me think he’s not dead, because if he was, wouldn’t we see the last guy’s picture? She starts to go out the door and almost trips over a box that’s been delivered. It’s from Nicholas.

Naomi says it’s not just Elizabeth, it’s the entire situation. She says no one has given Hayden anything but grief since she got there and she should get away. Hayden brings up Spencer and Naomi says no way anyone is going to let her get involved. She tells Hayden she’s not walking away with anything and she should close the book on Port Charles.

Carly looks for someone to babysit temporarily, but can’t find anyone except Max and Milo. Carly wonder what about Nell? Big shock.

Kiki apologizes for calling Sonny. Morgan says he understands, but he finally felt like he could think before he acted. Sonny says as long as he sticks to therapy and medication, he can handle anything. We see Ava picking up Morgan’s bottle of lithium.

Tomorrow, Sonny can’t wait to see what Morgan does, Doc asks Laura to come up for a nightcap, and Nina tells Franco that she met a tall, handsome stranger.

The Real Housewives of the OC

When we last left, Heather was sobbing in the limo to Terry about Kelly’s behavior at Tamra and Meghan’s party. After she tried to throw Kelly out of a party that she wasn’t hosting. I actually thought that was pretty funny.

Meghan sends a wish-you-were-here text to Jim while she’s at the doctor’s office. Meghan rehashes the party with her mother, telling her that Kelly called Shannon a see-you-next-Tuesday name. The doctor comes out and gives Meghan the lowdown. There are four viable embryos. She gets Jim on the phone. It’s three girls and a boy, and Jim already has three boys. The doctor says the best embryo is one of the girls with a 90% chance and the least viable is one of the boys, with a 60% chance. Jim wants to talk to Meghan alone. They’d wanted a boy, but since the girl has the better chance, she suggests they do both. Jim agrees. Meghan says she never imagined her husband wouldn’t be in the same room with her when she got pregnant, yet here we are. The implant is done pretty quickly.

Tamra meets Heather at a place called The Writing Studio, where Heather’s daughter is taking a class. Heather tells Tamra she’s exhausted and damaged. I have the feeling she doesn’t even know what damaged is if she thinks seeing someone behave badly at a party can be filed under that. Tamra thinks there’s something seriously wrong with Kelly, and that she lashes out against other people because she’s been hurt. Heather says she’s proud of Tamra for being so reasonable and not reacting like a heathen at the party. Heather wonders how they’ll be able to invite Kelly to anything again. Tamra has a trip planned and is on the fence about what to do. Heather is bringing her kids, so she’s concerned Kelly might flip out in front of them.

Kelly visits Meghan, who is back from the implanting. She shows Kelly the first ultrasound. Kelly has been through the same procedure, so she can identify. Meghan says she’s going to be blunt, she’s on Shannon’s side this time and Kelly was wrong to name call. Kelly says she went from 0 to 10 immediately and she’s sorry. Meghan says she was hypocritical as well, since the whole thing started with Kelly being upset at being called a prostitute. She says even though she loves Kelly, she was embarrassed to be her friend when she was acting psychotic. I never thought I’d say this, and I’m still not crazy about her, but I’m with Meghan here. I totally get why Kelly is pissed about Shannon inviting those girls to the party, and I’m even not so sure it wasn’t done on purpose, but she has got to get herself under control.

Kelly says she felt ganged up on and got defensive, and nothing like that had ever happened to her before. She should have stopped there. She goes on to tell Meghan that it wasn’t about herself and that Meghan will understand when she’s a mother. In her interview, Meghan says that Kelly is way out of line here and isn’t considering what affect her behavior might have on her own daughter. Meghan suggests Kelly can move beyond this by stopping and considering logic next time. I think Kelly knows how badly she screwed up and now she’s scared. Kelly says she’s lucky to have Meghan as a friend.

David calls Shannon and sings Happy Birthday. He says he has some special things planned and to pack a suitcase and be ready in twenty minutes. They’re going on an overnight. In her interview, Shannon says it’s hard for David to surprise her. Even when he was going to propose, the jewelry store called and left a message that he ring was ready.

David arrives and Shannon is gathering up the million things she needs, trying to pack. We flash back to last year’s birthday, which was not the best. Just packing all her potions, lotions and holistic treatments takes Shannon forever.

The gang has all been invited to a surprise party in Santa Fe. On the party bus, we find out that David has also planned a vow renewal. Heather has been helping him on the sly.

Shannon is pretty excited. David tells her that it’s something they’ll remember for the rest of their lives. Shannon has gotten a lot of birthday texts, as well as a phone call from Vicki inviting her to Vicki’s birthday celebration that is coming up. She says she forgives Vicki, but doesn’t want to be her friend anymore and thinks Kelly is a nutcase. Hey, at least she didn’t get an enema doohickey stuck in herself.

They arrive at the inn where Shannon and David got married. They’re in the Honeysuckle Suite. Shannon is thrilled at David’s thoughtfulness. I have to admit, he’s recovered well from the cheating thing.

Vicki meets Kelly for lunch. Kelly says they’re the odd men out, since everyone else is at Shannon’s party. Vicki says a lot has changed in a year, since at this same time last year, she and Shannon were very close. Kelly tries to justify what she did at the party, although she admits she shouldn’t have called Shannon the c-word. Vicki says her mother was a screamer and she’s the same way. We flash back to the 80s party from God only knows how many seasons ago. Yep. She’s a screamer.

Kelly wants Vicki to teach her how to be a better person. Vicki suggests poise. Good luck with that. I don’t think poise is Kelly’s strong suit. Vicki adds that they’ll make fools of the other women. Highly unlikely. Kelly says they’re hated because the others want to be them. Nope.

Jeff, Jenni and Gage from Flipping Out are at the party. David tells Shannon they’re going to dinner. Heather coordinates with David and has everyone stand at the ready. Shannon is totally shocked at seeing all the guests. Lots of applause and happy birthdays. How long before someone brings up Kelly and Vicki?

Vicki and Kelly discuss going to Greece. Vicki asks if Kelly is okay with going without her husband. Kelly says of course, and the reason they’d separated was because he was too controlling. They talk about Kelly’s marriage and how one minute she’s madly in love and the next she wants to jet.

David takes Shannon outside and she gets all emotional. Inside, Jeff talks to Tamra about the rift between Shannon and Vicki. Heather tells the others that David has another surprise and took Shannon back to their room. The hostess comes in to escort them to the next venue. It’s a gorgeous outdoor space with lots of candles and twinkles, where it looks like a fairy wedding is about to take place.

At the Honeysuckle Suite, David tells Shannon he’s nervous and she wonders what he has to be nervous about. He walks her to where the others are. Shannon is totally freaked and asks why the kids are there. She tells David she’s blown away and that she would have worn a different dress. Yep, that’s the downside to surprises. You have to go with whatever you’re wearing at the time.

In her interview, Shannon says she wouldn’t be with David today if it hadn’t been for the pastor who’s officiating. She says this reinforces that the choices she made in staying together were the right ones. David tells Shannon how much he loves her and can’t wait to spend the next 50 years growing old with her. In her interview, Shannon says it’s a gift that her children are able to witness this. Heather says blah-blah-blah because I’m annoyed with her. The pastor re-pronounces them husband and wife. Shannon says it would have been easier to give up, but their children were all worth it. Meghan says it’s spectacular to make this kind of rebound from an affair less than two years later. I agree. Oh Lord, that’s the second time I’ve agreed with Meghan tonight.

Shannon thanks everyone for coming. The hostess comes out and points everyone to the diner table. Shannon tells David everything is surreal. He tells her there’s another surprise. The next day they’re going on a second honeymoon in Cabo. He’s even arranged for someone to take care of the kids.

David stands up to make a toast, saying he’s proud of where they’ve been and where they’re going. Holy! Someone makes a joke about the cake having a bonfire on it, but it’s true. Shannon blows out the candles.

Next time, it’s Vicki’s turn for a birthday celebration, Meghan might be pregnant, Ryan comes home to the OC and Heather confronts Kelly.

August 21, 2016 – NJ Wife Teresa Loses the Bracelet & Fear the Walking Dead Finds My TV

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Dolores is getting a “facelift” for her house. Frank has sent a crew (where can you get an ex-husband like him?), but she wants things done a certain way and is trying to get ahold of him. She wanted to gut the kitchen and he’s only refacing it. Siggy says she’s a hustler and a survivor who’s basically living off of Frank.

Siggy and Delores visit Jacqueline (bleh) who they think looks “adorable” shoveling snow. It doesn’t take Jacqueline long to bring up Teresa, make fun of her accent, and say that she’s passive/aggressive. Siggy says the two of them are fencing by hitting each other’s trigger points.

Melissa says when Joe #2 and Teresa have tension, it trickles down. She’s miffed that Jacqueline called him, and Joe says the girls constantly twist his words around. Melissa says he shouldn’t have gotten pulled into a chick fight.

Teresa is looking forward to getting her ankle bracelet taken off. You don’t even have to go somewhere for this – Joe #1 is cutting it off with a pair of scissors. The kids are having a snow day, which Joe says is good for them, not so much for him. Teresa is thrilled that she can now pick up her kids at school and do whatever she needs to. Joe roughhouses with Milania and Teresa reminds him that he doesn’t have boys and says he’s too rough with the kids. Joe thinks yelling at them is a better idea.

Melissa meets Jacqueline <sigh and eye roll> for lunch. She asks what happened with Teresa. She’s not happy with Jacqueline calling Joe #2. She says she wishes Jacqueline wouldn’t have put him in that position. Because she has no empathy for anyone else, Jacqueline starts waving her finger in Melissa’s face, saying how much she’s done for their family. Melissa thinks something’s “off” with her and tells her that she’s creating problems. Jacqueline tells her that Teresa brought Joe up first. In her interview, Jacqueline says that the new namaste Teresa is a con artist. Jacqueline suggests that she and Melissa just never bring Teresa up again, which is beyond ridiculous. Melissa is like, why does this have to be complicated? I’ll tell you why. Because Jacqueline is a self-centered moron who wants to dictate other people’s behavior.

Siggy’s parents visit her. She tells them how her kids are growing up in a different generation and talks to her parents about getting them interested in family and tradition. Siggy grew up in Israel. Her father was a Holocaust survivor and she says she comes from a family of survivors. Her father talks about how Fridays were always family nights and they made sure to have dinner together. Siggy says after her divorce, she let things with the kids slide and wants to change that.

Ashlee tells her parents that they’re young and cool. Okay. It’s her one-year anniversary with her boyfriend, Pete, and he’s coming over for dinner. They’re talking about moving in together and Chris says it’s a big commitment and makes it known that marriage is preferable. Chris says Pete reminds him of himself. In the kitchen, Pete confides in Jacqueline that he wants to look at rings, but he’d like her help. She gets so excited, she drops the silverware.

The Gorgas go to the Giudices for dinner. Melissa asks Teresa if her leg feels lighter. They talk about health topics and Teresa confuses an enema with edamame. I literally LOL. Melissa tells her about the lunch with Jacqueline. Teresa says she’s evil and tells Melissa about Jacqueline baiting her. Melissa thinks the problem is they’re both Tauruses, but says since she’s the ram, she’s going to butt them in a minute. Teresa says she’s done with Jacqueline and her innocent act. I agree with her on that. Jacqueline loves to act like she wears a halo, but she’s always spoiling for a fight or some kind of drama.

Siggy tells her son that they’ll be doing Kiddish (a Jewish celebratory meal) on Fridays from now on. She says she doesn’t want the kids to be “super Jews,” but she does want to start some traditions. Her parents are joining them. She announces no phones at the table. She says family and tradition bring you together.

Frank goes to Dolores’s house. She tells him she wants to knock one of the kitchen walls down. Frank agrees. She moves next to wanting a tile floor, but compromises when he says he’ll do a darker finish. She suggests he just give her the money, but that’s a no.

Teresa is holding a family meeting. She says she grew up not talking about feelings, and she wants her daughters to be able to express their opinions. She tells everyone to write down what improvements they’d like and Milania suggests no sisters. Her next best suggestion is for her sisters and dad to stop calling her fat, and tells Joe #1 he’s no one to talk because he looks pregnant. I guess he deserved that one. Teresa makes a promise not to answer the phone when she’s engaging with the girls. Am I seeing this right? Does their dog have a magenta mohawk?

Sophie says she has no social life without her phone. Siggy tells her that being connected to the phone is a disconnect with the real world. She wants her son to hand over his phone as well, but Siggy’s father says he’s a good kid and to get off his back.

Teresa feels the family meeting was a success. Tomorrow is Milania’s 10th birthday and she wants to do something special.

When Milania gets home from school, a pink limo is waiting. The family goes to something called iFly, where you get in a chamber and float around like you’re skydiving. It reminds me of that scene in Willy Wonka when they steal the Fizzy Lifting Drinks. It looks like a lot of fun.

Pete and Jacqueline go ring shopping. Neither one of them believe it’s happening. Jacqueline says although Ashlee is 25, she still thinks of her as a little kid. We flash back to Ashlee being a jerkface in the past and getting kicked out of the house.

Milania says for her 11th birthday, she wants to go real sky diving. In her interview, Teresa talks about Joe not being there for Milania’s next birthday. She says when they got married, she never dreamed she’d even be having these conversations, but somehow they’ll get through it.

Dolores’s dog, Boo, is having kidney failure and I can’t bear hearing her talk about it. Jacqueline shows up with her own sledge hammer to help demo the kitchen. I’m sure she’s good at wrecking walls. Dolores’s business partner, Maz, calls her up, annoyed that she’s busy with her kitchen and not at work. She wonders if she’s sabotaging herself. She’s been divorced 18 years, and in her interview, Siggy suggests that Dolores start standing on her own.

Melissa suggests a girls trip to Crystal Springs over the weekend. Teresa wants to know who’s invited, and when Melissa hesitates, Teresa asks if Melissa really expects her to spend her first free weekend with Jacqueline. Melissa says it’s just to put things in a peaceful place and her girlfriends will be there with her.

Meanwhile, back at the kitchen, Dolores and Siggy talk to Jacqueline, and Jacqueline asks if this is a Teresa/Jacqueline intervention. Dolores says letting time go by will just create more animosity. Jacqueline acts like she’s on board with that, but no way I would trust her.

Teresa’s book, Turning the Tables, arrives in the mail. She reads the dedication to her daughters out loud and starts tearing up. She’s been on the NY Times Best Seller List three times and Joe tells her it’s a great accomplishment. Teresa tells him about going to Crystal Springs to celebrate her newfound freedom.

Next time, the girls trip happens, Teresa calls Joe to come pick her up, and Jacqueline gets stupid.

Fear the Walking Dead

Great, I have to remember all these people’s names again.

Nick wakes up next to a dead body. Sophia is in the doorway and tells him that things changed quickly. She says there’s a group headed south and he should come. He asks if there’s a place to go for someone like Celia. She says there are places that embrace the dead, but it’s dangerous on the road. He decides to head north. She gives him supplies and tells him it won’t be an easy trip.

Nick begins his journey and there’s a song part. It’s pretty desolate, no other people or zombies. He sees a couple of cars that look like they were in an accident. He flashes back to a thumb wrestling match with a girl when he was in rehab. She tells him he needs to make nice with his parents to get out more quickly and suggests they role play with her being his dad. Nick tells his “father” about how he used to be there, but isn’t any more. He gets a little emotional and the girl hugs him.

Back in the present, Nick comes across a town. He enters a house. It’s totally empty, without even any furniture. He makes a fire and has some food. His back is to an open door, which I don’t advise during a zombie apocalypse. Or maybe at any time.

Someone enters the house and wakes a sleeping Nick. It’s a woman and a little girl. The woman screeches at him in Spanish while hitting him with a baseball bat as the girl cowers in the corner. Nick quickly gathers up his stuff and gets out.

Further down the road, there are more cars, some with zombies in them. Since zombies can’t figure out seat belts, he reaches into one of the cars for supplies. He finds a radio. As he fiddles with it, a Jeep comes up the road and he ducks down behind a car. The Jeep stops and some guys with weapons get out..

They see a nearly dead man in a car, moaning, and spear him through the eye. They find it amusing and Nick starts to get concerned. Right then, the radio makes a noise and the guys know Nick is there. He runs and they chase him, shooting at him. He serpentines through a wooded area. Great, now he’s lost his backpack and the radio.

Nick stops to catch his breath and comes to an open field. We get a crane shot and it looks like he’s in the middle of nowhere. I’m assuming this is an all Nick episode? Nick examines a cactus, kicking a piece of it off to get to the inside. He tries to squeeze some liquid into his mouth and is unsuccessful. Dude, just, okay, he’s opening it up and chewing on the pieces. But they don’t stay down. Bummer. He takes a pee and drinks that. (Sorry.)

Nick hunkers down next to an abandoned truck. We flash back to rehab again. He and the girl are waiting for their parents. Madison shows up and Nick tells the girl good luck. The social worker tells Nick that he’s meeting with his mom in private for a moment.

Madison tells Nick his father isn’t coming. He was in an accident coming home. It was a head-on collision and he didn’t make it. Nick doesn’t take it well. His friend hears him yell and looks through the room window as his mother tries to comfort him.

Nick awakens to a pack of dogs that think he’s food. He beats them off and climbs to the top of the truck. Good thing they aren’t cats. Nick is seriously having the worst luck. The dogs suddenly stop and Nick sees a load of zombies coming toward them. The dogs attack the zombies who don’t really seem to react. Okay, the zombies eat the dogs. I guess they’re just slow.

Nick is baking on the top of this truck and the zombies are still hanging around. They suddenly notice him and head in his direction. He hears a horn and then gunshots. I guess the zombies do too, and go toward the noise. Nick jumps down from the truck and grabs a belt off of a zombie to use as a tourniquet. He’s able to walk among them since he’s covered in zombie blood. He imagines a female zombie is the girl from rehab and she’s talking to him.

40 miles to Tijuana. Nick continues to shuffle along and here come those guys in the Jeep again. Talk about a rock and a hard place. The guys start shooting at the zombies. WTF, Nick? The zombies get shot around him, but he’s totally focused on the front most guy. They lock eyes. When the dude realizes it’s Nick, he gets distracted, dtops his weapon and ammunition and the zombies attack. The guy who is driving the Jeep takes off like a rocket. Can’t say as I blame him. The zombies move on after eating their fill.

A group of three people see Nick through binoculars. One of them wants to help Nick, But Luci, who seems to be in charge, doesn’t want to. Nick falls to his knees as the zombies continue on. He again thinks about the girl in rehab. They’re in bed together and he’s reading a book his dad gave him. They do some heroin, so apparently their parents wasted the money on rehab. In the present, it begins to rain. Nick wakes up and opens his mouth, thirsty for water.

Nick limps into a town where there are normal dog sounds, but no people. It’s pretty big, so I’m thinking maybe this is Tijuana. He makes his way to a drug store. Nick throws things around, looking through the shelves, finding nothing of use. He goes into a barber shop where he wraps his wound. The three people who’d been watching him come in. He explains in broken Spanish that the bite is from a dog and asks for water. Luci says she knows someone who can help him. She tells Nick, “Vamos!” and even I know what that means.

They go to a medical clinic, where Alejandro, a pharmacist who speaks English, tells Nick he’s working on an infection and tends to the bite. Alejandro tells him he’s foolish; death is not to be feared, but it shouldn’t be pursued either. Nick tells Alejandro that it was safer walking with the zombies than dealing with the gunmen. Alejandro asks why he came all this way. Nick says he wants to be where the dead aren’t monstrous and Alejandro opens the double doors. Nick follows him to the street.

It’s like a normal place, with people walking around and kids playing. Nick is mesmerized. A soccer ball comes toward him. He kicks it and smiles.

Next time, Alejandro tells Nick it’s not his place, Travis and Madison deal with a lot of violence, and Madison tells Travis he has false hope.

August 17, 2016 – GH’s Test Results, Little LA’s Friendships Tested & NYC Wives Test Miami’s Waters

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Lulu presents various nursery lamps for Dylan’s approval – in the interrogation room. He suggests maybe she’s getting a little ahead of things.

Laura and Tracy wait for the DNA test result on the bracelet. Tracy says Monica put a rush on it, but obviously not as much of one as Nell’s kidney test.

Franco startles Elizabeth, popping up from the back seat of her car.

Kristina leaves a message for Parker, telling her she’s rude for ignoring her calls, wondering if her mother dictated Parker’s letter, and babbling in general. Actually, she seems drunk. Molly hears her, grabs her phone, and throws it over the railing.

It’s time for Alexis to face the bar. And I don’t mean in a good way. Diane thinks she has a shot at redemption.

Tracy tells Laura that she’s sorry about Nicholas. She says they worked together on a project once, and he was very good. Laura is worried about the DNA results. Tracy says Luke has almost met his end a million times and he wouldn’t allow it to happen on Cassadine Island.

Lulu tells Dante she doesn’t want to believe her father is dead. She hasn’t heard back from Lucky either. She says Dante and Rocco are getting her through, as well as the plans for the new baby.

Okay, Kristina is drunk dialing. She claims she was going to call an Uber and tries to go after her phone, but Molly stops her. Kristina tells Molly about Alexis driving Parker away. She says their mom has interfered in her life for the last time and she hopes they throw the book at her.

The moderator reviews what happened with Carrrlos and Alexis refusing to consider the DA’s offer. He asks if she disputes any of it. Diane says no, and the judge says all that’s left is the closing statement. Geez, everything moves so fast in Port Charles, you’d think it was some huge cosmopolitan city. Olivia bursts in asking if she’s too late.

Elizabeth jumps out of the car. Franco says he needs to talk to her and it seemed like the only place he could do it. He tells her he’s sorry.

Olivia says she’d like to make a statement. The moderator says they have it on paper, but she wants to make it in person. She says meaning no disrespect, they’re all being played for fools. The moderator says by who, and Olivia brings up Mayor Lomax, saying the mayor wants revenge and they can’t let her get away with it. The moderator says even though unorthodox, they thank her for her statement. Alexis asks to speak on her own behalf.

Kristina says she wants Alexis to lose something she cares about and to have consequences for her actions. Molly says she’s mad at Julian, but doesn’t want Alexis to lose her license. Molly says they need to have the kind of love where you let someone hate you so they don’t hurt themselves. I have no idea what she means.

Tracy says it would be just like Luke to be relaxing half a world away while they worry about him being dead. Laura apologizes for being against Luke and Tracy getting married. Tracy says it was all for the best in the long run, but Laura asks if she’s still in love with Luke.

Alexis starts from when she was born, and tells the bar how her mother’s murderer was never prosecuted. She says she became a lawyer because she grew up with no justice. She tells them that Carrrlos killed Duke under Julian’s orders, but chose not to give Julian up, and her desire to protect Julian had nothing to do with it. She says honoring the client’s wishes sometimes is at odds with what’s best for them, and legal counsel can only improve by learning from mistakes. She says she will do better, but can’t if they won’t let her try.

Molly says it never occurred to Kristina that Parker might be using her. Kristina accuses her of getting off on it because it makes Molly look better. She says she can’t wait for the day that Molly realizes that she’s never really lived. Molly calls her a mean drunk. She says every time Kristina has a choice, she picks the wrong one, always leaning toward chaos.

Franco says he didn’t know that Elizabeth was the one who got him off the hook and he’s sorry. He adds that she let him go on a tirade and could have clued him in. He says he thought she doubted his innocence and doubted getting involved with him. He asks if that’s no longer the case.

Lulu talks about furnishing the nursery with flea market finds and Dante says he knows nothing about refinishing furniture. She says she does because she looked it up on the internet. Lulu gets a call from Dr. Lee telling her that her malaria test is negative. She can start hormone treatments now.

Tracy says she’s tried not to be in love with Luke, but hasn’t been able to shake him. Laura talks about falling in love with Luke when she was just a girl and going on an adventure with him. She says they got married and had kids, but she never grew up because he was always there to save her. She says Scotty always treated her like a child too, and when people treat you like a child, you continue to be one. She says she finally started to grow up when there were no more kids to raise and no husband to please or define her. She’s finally started to define herself.

The DNA samples don’t match the bracelet.

Elizabeth tells Franco she was uncomfortable on their date. She could have fooled me. She says for a while she could see him as an eccentric artist, but his past is violent and unstable. She says sometimes he triggers memories of who he used to be. She gives him the it’s me, not you speech, and says she doesn’t think she can make peace with his past and doesn’t think they should see one another any more.

Out in the hall, Alexis thanks Olivia. She says Olivia was right to worry about Julian and protect Leo, and apologizes for getting Leo’s DNA behind her back. Olivia says she was fooled too, and actually believed Julian could be a good father. She leaves and Alexis and Diane are called back in.

Kristina tells Molly to get lost, and that she doesn’t need her judgments. She screams in Molly’s face and Molly leaves. Kristina sits down and cries. Molly comes back and hugs her.

The moderator gives Alexis all kinds of props, but says she acted negligently in Carrrlos’s case. He says for that reason, they can’t allow her to continue practicing law in New York state. Diane says she’s going to appeal, but he says they didn’t rule to disbar, just suspend. Indefinitely. They’ll reconvene in a year and review Alexis’s conduct. If it sucks, she’ll be disbarred.

Lulu finds out about Luke and hugs Dante. Olivia comes in and wonders why Lulu is crying, but seems happy. Lulu tells her that her dad is still alive and also that she’s getting an embryo implant. Olivia is thrilled.

Tracy says they still don’t know where Luke is. Laura says that’s not unusual and that he frequently falls off the grid. Tracy thinks Laura is gearing up to track Luke down and says she can help, but Laura says she’s not going to do it this time.

Olivia’s intuition tells her that Lulu is going to have a girl. Dylan says he doesn’t doubt Olivia’s psychic powers, but he’s skeptical. Olivia says fine, but they’re having a girl. She leaves and Lulu and Dante say they don’t really care which it is.

Franco says he thinks there’s something special between him and Elizabeth. She thinks they should end it before it ends badly and they hurt each other. Franco says he lied a little about the painting of her. He says it’s true that he sees her as beautiful in an ugly world, but she’s an angel who gives him hope. He thought she might be his salvation, someone who looks past the evil in his life that he’s tried to distance himself from, and sees there’s still good in him. She says he has to find salvation in himself.

Diane orders martinis for her and Alexis at the MetroCourt. She tells Alexis to take some classes or something and the year will fly by. Alexis says it won’t and she’s made spectacular errors in judgment, but she was good at her job. She says she doesn’t know what she’ll tell her kids. Diane says the kids will be fine and she’ll find a reason to get up in the morning besides work.

Laura tells Tracy it’s not her place to go after Luke anymore and she has people who need her. Tracy asks if Doc is one of them. Laura says she was thinking about Lulu and Spencer, but she does want to see Doc. She tells Tracy if she loves Luke, she should go find him. Tracy leaves another message for Luke, saying it’s time for him to call. She doesn’t want to know where he is, but only that he’s okay.

Franco says Elizabeth is right and it’s not her job to save him, He says he’ll find salvation on his own. Elizabeth tells him he has a gift and should use it, and to keep painting salvation in art. He kisses her on the cheek and says he’ll see her around.

I count five martini glasses, but don’t know who drank what. Diane says she has to get up early and has to go. She tells Alexis she’s sorry this is happening. Alexis says it’s not that she wasn’t warned and next time stop her before she self destructs. Diane tells her she’ll get through this and she’ll call her tomorrow. Alexis orders another martini and says keep the tab open.

Kristina asks Molly why she’s still there. Molly says she’s still her sister and she doesn’t judge her, she looks up to her. Kristina says she doesn’t deserve Molly’s niceness. Molly says she does, and if Parker didn’t make her feel that way, it’s time to move on. She suggests getting a pizza and watching a movie. They leave for home.

Kristina’s forgotten phone rings. It’s parker

Tomorrow, Laura argues with Hayden, Finn is close to an answer, andClaudette isn’t going anywhere.

Little Woman: LA

Kerwin is highly pissed because Tonya still has to get some of her stuff from Jaa’s place. Kerwin says she’s wasting his time. Tonya says it’s not her fault and she thinks Kerwin is being unreasonable. Tonya is hurt that Kerwin doesn’t believe or trust her. In her interview, Tonya says she wants to make this work and will do whatever it takes. Kerwin says he’s out of there. Tonya says she’ll take care of it, but he says seeing is believing.

Elena’s twins have been released from the hospital after only two weeks. Both Kairo and Xavier are just over four pounds each and so precious, like little baby dolls. They still have to do a genetic test to see if either one is a little person, but for now, Elena just wants to enjoy them.

Briana and Terra have an appointment with a photographer to do pregnancy photos. In her interview, Terra says she’s glad to let the Matt issues go and is ready to have fun with Briana again. Briana’s photos are beautiful, but Terra’s are more “out there.” She wants her baby to think she was cray.

Terra discusses Tonya’s comment about it being good that Briana is having a little baby rather than average sized, because she just can’t understand the comment had nothing to do with her and wants to continue to take it personally. Briana says whatever stature her children are, she’s still large and in charge. She wonders who Tonya is to judge her. Terra says she hasn’t spoken to Tonya since she critiqued Tonya’s active-wear, except they all went to that henna thing together – did that not count or did she forget? In her interview, Terra says she wants to make amends with Tonya because they’ve been friends for 15 years, but she doesn’t want Tonya looking like a fool with her clothing line. She’s also afraid that at some point, Tonya is going to explode.

Jasmine has been doing some extra hours at the salon. She’s not ready to tell her boss she’s pregnant and wonders if there’s anything else she could do to get some extra income. Welcome to my world. She asks her boss about picking up even more work, and her boss suggests sending her to classes so she can expand her hairdressing horizons. Jasmine is excited to be furthering her career.

Matt and Briana go shopping. She tells him about the photo shoot and how well it went with Terra. Matt says he needs to learn how to accept people for who they are and move forward. Briana repeats Tonya’s comment that Terra repeated to her. It’s become a game of telephone and Briana says Tonya claimed she couldn’t handle an average sized child. Matt suggests they just focus on the coming baby.

Tonya is dealing with a thinning spot on her scalp and goes to the hair salon. She discusses it with Jasmine, who also has a thinning hair problem. Jasmine tells Tonya that her salon deals with that a lot. Jasmine says it’s a huge step for Tonya to confide in her, and lets Tonya know she’s pregnant in return. Tonya says Christy is going to be pissed.

Jasmine asks if she missed anything after she left henna day. Tonya tells her about Terra criticizing her clothing line, but says she didn’t receive it as constructive and didn’t think Terra was coming from a good place. Jasmine suggests she tell Terra that this is her dream and either support her or not.

Commercial break. It’s a preview of Little Women: Atlanta. I just can’t anymore. Monie, Money, Minnie, twins whose names I can never remember, whatever. I can’t deal with those girls who are basically going nowhere. At least nowhere there isn’t twerking.

Tonya meets Christy, who has a terrific new haircut and color, at the gym. They work on the Pilates machines. Christy talks about how difficult exercise classes can be for little people. Tonya says she could only invite Christy, since she’s the only one who isn’t pregnant. I’m sure Jasmine will really appreciate her scooping that news.

Once again, Tonya relays what Terra said about her active-wear. She tells Christy about the Habitat for Humanity – Power Women/Power Tool volunteer day she’s invited everyone to. Christy says she’s missed everyone and Tonya says they’ve missed her too. I think Tonya might be exaggerating just a little.

Terra comes to see Elena’s twins. I’m not much of a baby person, but even I want to squish them. She asks how it is caring for both of them. Elena says it’s a lot of work, but better than having them in the hospital. Terra shares a Penny poop story. She asks Elena if she knows if the babies are little or not. Elena says she doesn’t really care as long as they’re healthy. In her interview, Terra says she’s going to get the test right away, so she can be prepared, but she thinks Elena doesn’t want to know because she’s scared. Now who has opinions about someone else’s baby? They talk about Habitat LA, but Terra says she was invited before her fallout with Tonya, so she isn’t sure how that is going to go.

Christy was supposed to go to a jewelry making class with Autumn, but Autumn still isn’t well, so her mom comes instead. Her mom immediately tells the clerk she hates crafts and he’s like, alrighty then. They discuss Autumn and Habitat LA. Christy says she’s been so involved with her own family, she hasn’t had time to think about hanging out with the girls. She says she won’t be happy to see Terra, but she’s glad Tonya reached out to her with the invite. Christy makes a face at her mom’s bracelet making skills, but I think it looks cool.

Jaa brings the rest of Tonya’s stuff to her house. Jaa tries to make peace with Kerwin and Tonya says she just wants to disappear. He says he wishes Kerwin would reconsider his and Tonya’s working relationship. Tonya says she just wants Kerwin to be happy. Kerwin says it’s nothing personal, but he’s not comfortable with Jaa being Tonya’s ex. Jaa accepts that and it’s peace out.

Tonya and Jasmine meet for lunch. Because no one can leave it alone, Jasmine brings up what Tonya said about Briana having a little baby. Tonya says Terra didn’t understand her point. She says Briana doesn’t have a strong personality and even her daughter runs over her. Jasmine says it’s upsetting to other little people moms and Tonya says she’s not talking about them, she’s talking about Briana specifically. In her interview, Tonya is seriously annoyed. She tells Jasmine that Matt is also who he is, and with Briana’s situation, that’s how she feels. Jasmine says she’ll drop it then and Tonya steals some of her cake.

It’s Habitat LA day. While the director is getting Tonya set up with a ladder, Christy arrives. She plans on steering clear of Terra and hopes they keep Terra away from the chainsaws. She tells Tonya that when Terra is pregnant, she turns into an alien. And by that she means from another planet, not another country.

Terra shows up. In her interview, Tonya says she hopes “that heifer” stays focused and keeps her mouth shut. Terra isn’t thrilled to see Christy, but is glad Christy is wearing a hard hat, so she doesn’t get any more “contusions.” Christy tries to be nice, but Terra isn’t having any. Terra tells Tonya she’s been ignoring her calls and says that her inviting Christy would be like if she invited Jaa, which makes no sense. Tonya suggests she just concentrate on volunteerism.

Christy, Tonya and Terra do some spackling. Terra want to talk it out with Tonya, who doesn’t want to discuss it there, but Terra presses the issue. Tonya tells Terra that she hurt her feelings. She says the workout line is her vision and when she’s ready to talk about it, she will. Terra wants to know why they can’t have an adult conversation and Tonya says they will, but not here. Christy tries to interject that it’s not the place because this is for charity and Terra tells her to STFU. Tonya says maybe Terra shouldn’t be there then, and she stomps out.

Next time, vegetable picking, Kerwin is having a party and doesn’t want to invite Terra, Terra comes anyway and starts a fight.

The Real Housewives of NYC

Oh, that’s right. Bethenny is going to tell The Countess what a jerk Tom is. This should be good. Especially since I’m sure The Countess will try to justify it.

Bethenny tells Carole and Ramona that Tom has been unfaithful to The Countess. Ramona tells her not to say that and Carole thinks maybe it’s not him, but Bethenny has a photo. Ramona totally freaks out because everything is all about her. Apparently Tom was drunkenly making out with an ex-Playboy centerfold at a bar for quite a while – after his engagement to The Countess. Ramona wants to see the picture so they can “take a vote” if it’s really him. Yeah, right. Bethenny says it’s him.

Ramona is getting a manicure and can barely keep her sh*t together when The Countess comes in to talk to her. Ramona just gives her bug eyes and a smile while she prattles on. Bethenny shows Carole the picture and she confirms. In her interview, Bethenny says it’s not a question of if, but of when and how. She thinks that The Countess is really in love with the whole atmosphere of getting married though, rather than her upcoming groom.

Bethenny, Sonja and Ramona are waiting for Dorinda and the rest to arrive for dinner. Ramona has told Sonja about Tom, and Bethenny gets pissed. Ramona acts like she didn’t know any better. Sonja talks about having slept with Tom and almost meeting his mother not too long before he became engaged to The Countess. Bethenny wonders if The Countess knows the timeline. Wow. This restaurant is right on the water and I want to be there. At another table. The girls order appetizers.

Dorinda finally arrives with the rest of the women. Sonja and Ramona tun to the table, taking seats to block Bethenny from The Countess. Bethenny bitches at them for being late. Carole is the perpetrator and says she told them to leave without her. A gigantic bowl of iced shrimp comes out and it makes everything better.

The Countess talks about not knowing where Tom is tonight, but not being the jealous type. Dorinda has planned some kind of sandbar trip and Ramona is worried about not getting food if she goes. Dorinda explains that there’s food there. Geez, if you’re that worried, pack a snack. Ramona doesn’t want to come and Dorinda thinks she’s rude.

The ladies change venues, sans Bethenny and Sonja. It’s a really cool Spanish bar where Jules gets up on stage and tries to play the trombone. Now she’s wearing what looks like a vase on her head. That Jules, what a card! Ramona touches up her makeup, telling them she’s going out. Aren’t they out already?

Bethenny tells Sonja that once she gets moody, it’s hard to shake. She says there’s a part of her that feels bad for The Countess, but another that feels like The Countess should have known better. Sonja thinks she should talk to Tom. No. Bethenny asks for his phone number. No. Bethenny dials and says she feels like throwing up. There’s no answer and she says he’s out banging somebody else. She gets voicemail and hangs up. She tells Sonja she’s going to sleep on it.

The next day, Bethenny doesn’t think she can be around The Countess and doesn’t want to ruin her weekend. Carole says that Tom is now saying that Sonja was only a one night stand. He sounds like a real d-bag.

The rest of the girls join them. Ramona tells everyone she’s tired and she’s not going to the sandbar. I don’t know if it’s a place named Sandbar or a sandbar. Ramona isn’t fooling anyone as they know she’s really going shopping. When she changes, Dorinda says she doesn’t look like someone who’s going back to sleep.

Bethenny decides to go shopping with Ramona. She tells Dorinda that Sonja seems to be processing the Tom stuff. Dorinda didn’t realize that Sonja was that involved, but Bethenny says Sonja was going to meet his mom around Thanksgiving. Carole joins them and they discuss whether or not there will be a wedding. Dorinda seems surprised they would even wonder about that, and Bethenny says Dorinda has no understanding about The Countess. In her interview, Dorinda thinks there’s too much focus on the negative.

Dorinda resigns herself to the fact that the girls are going to do what they want. Minus Bethenny, Sonja and Ramona, they get in a small, but very comfortable boat. Drinks and appetizers are served. It looks like the sandbar is really a sandbar. Some guy in a passing boat yells C’est le vie to The Countess and she goes out of her mind with joy because they’ve recognized her and know her “music.”

The other three go to a restaurant. Bethenny has decided to talk to The Countess before they leave Miami. In her interview, Ramona wonders if Tom thinks he’s invisible.

Carole gets into a canoe to go on a food run. She comes back with ice cream and everyone wonders why she didn’t bring hot dogs. She says she ate one on the way, but didn’t think they’d want any. Carole. The Countess talks about Bethenny questioning her and asking if she and Tom are monogamous. Carole tries to defend Bethenny, saying that Bethenny is just concerned because of her own experiences.

Bethenny tells Ramona about trying to call Tom. She says the right thing to do is to tell her friend.

The Countess wants to correct Bethenny’s misconceptions. She says she had an open marriage with The Count, but it wasn’t what she wanted; she just put up with it.

Dorinda tells Jules that Ramona is a dog that bites and the girls who wouldn’t come along to the sandbar were rude. Bethenny has heard that The Countess isn’t happy with her, so she’s invited her friend, Romero, a famous artist, to dinner. The better to deflect things. The Countess doesn’t know who he is and thinks it’s bizarre that she would bring him.

The Countess asks why Ramona and friends didn’t want to go to the sandbar. Dorinda says Ramona was ill-mannered by pretending she wanted to relax, but Ramona says she relaxed at Bagatelle. She and Ramona hug it out. Honestly, it’s not like Dorinda had to go by herself.

The Countess says blah-blah-blah about Tom and Sonja claims to have been a one night stand for ten years. I have to add that Sonja is wearing a tiara.

It’s the end of the trip. They’re getting ready to leave and The Countess goes to Bethenny’s room. She says something has been bothering her. She says she was hurt by the way Bethenny talked about her and The Count cheating on one another, and felt she cheapened the beauty of their marriage. She asks why Bethenny would ask if she was monogamous with Tom.

Bethenny says she apologizes for what she said about The Countess’s marriage. The Countess again asks why Bethenny asked about she and Tom being monogamous. Bethenny says she has something that was dumped in her lap, and she doesn’t want it to be happening, but she has to show and tell The Countess something. The Countess says please don’t let it be about Tom, and Bethenny says it’s about Tom. She says it’s something true, and she has pictures, and she doesn’t want to be doing this.

The countess says she can’t and leaves. Then she can’t get into her room and tells the cameraman to stop filming. She talks to herself about Tom, saying please don’t let him be stupid.

Next time, The Countess calls Tom, Jules wears a watermelon on her head, Dorinda argues with Bethenny, and Ramona makes it about her.