Tag Archives: Bravo

May 27, 2016 – Good-by to the Nurses Ball & the Couches

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital – Thursday

Curtis reminds Nicholas that he tried to kill Hayden once before and says maybe he wants to finish the job. Hayden adds, especially since Nicholas saw her with the police commissioner.

Robin asks if there’s anything Griff can’t do and Anna says she thought he couldn’t dance. That’s right, she gave him a tango lesson. That is totally different from break dancing though.

Sam goes to look for Lucas. Jason asks Carly where Michael is, and tells her about the ELQ assets being frozen. She says he’s out of town with Sonny. Jason wants to try and fix it before it becomes a bigger problem, and asks her not to say anything to Michael. Sonny, Michael and Morgan show up at the ball.

Bobbie sees Lucas on the floor next to her hospital bed.

Lucy says they have time to kill and asks if anyone would like to do an impromptu performance. No. So she asks to play an audience participation game called has anyone seen Lucas? Amy remembers that she was supposed to tell them he was at the hospital with Bobbie.

Finn puts a syringe away. Quick change artist Griff is already back at the hospital and while he’s talking to Finn, they hear Bobbie yell for help.

Lucy wants Epiphany to do something and she says magnificence takes time and her act can’t be rushed. Lucy grabs Kiki and Dillon. Kiki says it was supposed to be later, but Lucy says an empty stage means people who contribute money aren’t being entertained.

Hayden says Jordan shut her down. Nicholas asks her to come home and he’ll give her the diamonds. Curtis tells her not to go. He says she won’t get the diamonds unless she pries them from Nicholas’s cold, dead hand. Nicholas says he’s giving her a one time offer. She says if he’s leaving now, she’s not going.

Lucy introduces Kiki and Dillon. They do Shawn Mendes’s Stitches. Not bad. It looks like they make a connection while they’re singing.

Brad wonders why Lucas didn’t text him. He thinks Lucas got cold feet, but Felix doesn’t think so.

Griff tries to get Lucas’s heart started. Bobbie says he’s diabetic and wonders if that has anything to do with it. Lucas’s phone rings. It’s Brad. Bobbie picks it up and tells him to get to the hospital, but don’t alarm anyone about Lucas. Brad tells Felix that Lucas had a hospital emergency. He says Lucas is on break and he’s going to see him. Nice lying without technically lying. Brad has had a lot of practice at that.

Lucy is wearing the most fabulous outfit ever – a white lace, backless dress with bell sleeves and mermaid hem (lots of those this year) and the earrings are wow. She’s changed about four times already.

Sonny tells Dante about Sabrrrina.

Nina tells Kiki and Dillon they make her believe she can fall in love again. Dillon wonders why everyone thinks they’re a couple. He says Morgan is a fool for letting Kiki go. They kiss. Saw that coming miles away. Morgan walks in. No surprise there either, but dude, you told her to move on.

Michael asks Morgan if everything is okay. Morgan says it’s just hard to adjust. Carly thanks Andre for everything he’s done for Morgan and Andre says Morgan is almost ready to be discharged.

Robin talks to Sonny. Jason joins them. Robin says the Nurses Ball has always been about remembrances, but also being thankful for what they have.

Lucy takes the stage and explains why the ball is named after the nurses, and talks about how they’re the backbone of everything and have to take doctors’ orders. Dante’s phone rings. It’s Lulu on stage. Milo gets a call from Epiphany on stage. The girls sing Doctor’s Orders, with Epiphany leading. Lulu does a bit of a solo dance. They do those Supremes hand moves that I love.

Nicholas photographs the diamonds and texts Hayden saying they can come to an agreement. A storm comes up outside. Thunder and lightening starts happening.

Brad gets to the hospital where Griff is working on Lucas. They use the defibrillator.

Morgan says he feels a little overwhelmed, so he’s going to take off. Sonny says he’ll take him back and Carly says she’d like to come too.

Finally, Lucas has a heartbeat. Bobbie says she has no idea what happened. All of a sudden his heart just stopped beating. Damn. Even I was nervous for a minute.

Nicholas waits for Hayden at Windemere. Curtis asks Hayden where she’s headed. She says if Nicholas hasn’t killed her by now, he’s not going to. Curtis says she hadn’t crossed the line before, but Nicholas knows she talked to Jordan. She says it worked, and Curtis says he’s tired of saving her from herself.

Sam tells Jason she doesn’t want Franco to ruin his night. He says it’s not that, it’s the lawsuit. Michael joins them and Sam excuses herself. Michael says he wants to make Jason proud with his work at ELQ. D’oh!

Carly and Sonny discuss Morgan. Sonny tells her how great she looks and Carly claims she looks younger because of the Aveeno stuff in her gift bag. Nice plug.

Lucy introduces Robin. She’s like the person who explains the Academy Award system every year during the Oscars. She talks about a new medication that can prevent HIV, but there has been a rise in infection among young, gay men of “low means,” meaning poor or homeless. She talks about Stone, who died 21 years ago. She says she expects to live to see the day we conquer HIV/AIDS and the whole thing makes me cry.

Amy wants to do a song with Felix, but Epiphany says Sabrrrina owned the song. She’s like, okay, I’ll go solo and grabs the mic from Lucy to sing. Sabrrrina comes out and sings You’re Not Alone with her. As they sing, Sabrrrina goes down to the audience and hugs her friends. Epiphany joins them on stage. Where’s Obrecht? I need some comic relief here. I also think they could fill the room better. It doesn’t look like a whole lot of people are at the ball. It’s a junior high dance level crowd.

As they sing, we see Lucas, wearing a breathing tube, surrounded by Bobbie, Griff and Brad. Brad tells him to wake up. Finn enters the room. Griff says Lucas is hanging on and it seems like there’s an injection site on his neck. He asks Finn if he injected him with anything.

Jason walks into Windemere looking for Nicholas. He wants to talk.

Lucy plugs Aveeno and thanks everyone. Felix comes out to give her roses. She says it’s a new beginning – no one saw her panties. What?! Do we still have a minute?

Carly and Sonny get romantic.

Anna tells Robin it’s the first time she actually saw her speech. Michael tells Sabrrrina she brought the house down, after which Jordan arrests her.

Finn is like, how dare you? but Griff says he had to ask. Brad brings up the unexplained deaths at GH. Bobbie wonders if there’s a connection and Griff says it’s worth investigating.

Curtis makes Hayden promise she won’t go to Windemere before talking to the police. Sam enters Windemere. She hears a crash. Nicholas lies on the rocks below the window.

Tomorrow, Tracy hears about Sabrrrina, Carly tells Sonny about the video, and Nicholas lies unconscious or dead.

General Hospital – Friday

Tracy tells Baby Edward that she didn’t miss not going to the Nurses Ball. She shows him the pictures of Edward and Lila, and I tell her not to get me crying in the first second of the show. Dillon walks in and tells her she looks happy.

Michael tells Jordan it would be a mistake to arrest Sabrrrina. Sabrrrina tells him not to fight for her; she deserves to be arrested. He says she was a victim of Carrrlos too. Jordan says sorry, she helped Carrrlos out. Michael begs Jordan to let Sabrrrina see her son first.

Anna introduces Robin to Andre. Paul pulls Anna aside. He gives her something in an envelope. The charges against her are officially dropped. Andre and Robin chat. He excuses himself to find Jordan. Anna thanks Paul, but tells him there will never be anything between them. Ava grabs Paul. Robin asks Anna if she heard right, that Anna tried to kill Carrrlos.

Carly tells Sonny about getting Ava to back off. She tells him about the subverted furniture delivery and goes on to explain about the flash drive. Except she lies like a rug, saying she tore the place apart. She did not. She found it on the first shot.

Hayden tells Curtis he was correct in telling her to stay away from Windemere. She’s going to stay at the hotel.

Sam walks into Windemere, and sees Jason by a broken window. She asks where Nicholas is, and he tells her “down there,” where Nicholas lies unconscious (or dead?) on the rocks. Jason says he doesn’t know what happened and to call 911.

Dillon tells Tracy he’s on her side and she deserves some happiness. He says he hopes she isn’t going to be disappointed when she has to give up the baby. Tracy says she has an army of lawyers and no one is taking this poor orphaned child away from her. Dillon tells her that Michael found Sabrrrina.

Curtis says as soon as he turns his back, Hayden is going to be looking for the diamonds. She swears she’s not going back tonight. Curtis says that’s not true and he’ll go with her. Hayden says he’ll ruin any chances of her striking a deal with Nicholas. He says tonight, he’s her shadow.

Jason gets into the water to get to Nicholas. Sam picks up a cuff-link among the rocks, no doubt belonging to Nicholas.

Anna tells Robin the Carrrlos story. She says all her training and principles went out the window, and she shot him, but it was a set-up. Robin asks why she didn’t say something sooner. Anna says it was her mess and she wanted to clean it up herself. Robin tells her there’s such a thing as being too independent and she’s punished herself enough. It’s time to start healing.

Carly and Sonny gloat. Carly talks about losing her iPhone, but this gets me thinking that if Ava kept it, she might be able to delete that video from the cloud.

Ava tells Paul she’s not giving in to Carly’s demands because of him. He says what good is getting Avery back if she goes to prison. He says if the video gets out, he’ll make sure her confession goes public. Apparently, Ava wasn’t smart enough to get that phone, but even so, if Paul outs her for Connie’s murder, isn’t he going to implicate himself in some way? I tell myself not to think too hard here.

Anna tells Robin that Julian got off and there’s never any punishment for him. She says one way or another, she’ll get him to trial, even if it’s for murdering Carrrlos. Robin says nothing will bring Duke back, but Anna says maybe the closure will give her peace. Robin says peace doesn’t come from revenge, but living the best life you can. I refrain from making any jokes about her living in Berkeley.

Andre asks Jordan for a minute, but she asks if it can wait. He says he wants to spend the end of the night with her and she says ditto. Jordan asks Sabrrrina about the baby. Sabrrrina says she was just hoping for one night with the baby and she was going to turn herself in.

Dillon gives Tracy a note that Sabrrrina left earlier that night. It says she’s coming back later.

Jason can’t get to Nicholas. Sam says the police are coming. Hayden and Curtis arrive and see the mess. Hayden looks out the broken window, but doesn’t see anything. Sam and Jason come back to the house. Sam explains what they found and that they think the current took Nicholas away. Sam gives Hayden the cuff-link.

Sam and Jason go to wait for the police. Hayden sniffles over the cuff-link and Curtis asks if the tears are real. She says she did love him, but she needs to look for those diamonds before the cops get there. Ha-ha!

Carly tells Sonny the Avery battle is over and she’s thrilled. She says Avery is always going to be safe and happy. In Port Charles? She’s got to be kidding.

Ava tells Paul there will be an investigation and no doubt he has more secrets that will cause a worse scandal that them in bed together. She says his best bet is to ride it out.

Tracy tells Dillon that Sabrrrina won’t be coming back tonight. She says that it’s a safe bet she’s already in custody since Jordan attended the Nurses Ball.

Jordan says Sabrrrina is a flight risk and she can’t allow it. Michael says he’ll take full responsibility, but Jordan doesn’t want to take the chance. Michael says he knows Jordan was away from TJ for a long time, and he plays the mom card.

Robin says it would have been easy for her to lose hope when she was being held captive, but because of Anna, she didn’t. She tells Anna she’ll get past the anger, hurt and need to be vengeful. She needs to say good-by to all of that and to Duke. Anna tells Robin about the vision she had when she was stuck in the meat locker. She says he vanished before she could say good-by, and Robin says that’s probably because she wasn’t ready to.

Robin leaves, and tango music begins. Duke asks for the pleasure of this dance, but Anna says she has to say good-by. He says he’s glad to hear that and he loves her. He asks for one last dance and she says she’d love to.

Ava says she’ll take Paul down with her. He says he has an impeccable record of beating the odds. He tells her that he has the leverage he needs to keep her in line. He says if she lets the video go public, she’ll wish she had stayed dead.

Sam wonders if the police will think Jason had something to do with it, especially since they had that fistfight not that long ago. He wants to call Diane, but Sam says if he does that right now, he’ll look guilty. Can’t please her. Hayden walks in and Sam stupidly asks her if she and Nicholas had a fight. Hayden tells her not to be ridiculous and accuses Jason of pushing Nicholas out the window.

Sabrrrina and Michael arrive at the Quartermaines. Tracy tells her not to touch the baby.

Jordan tells Andre she’s officially done with work. Not quite. Her phone rings. It’s Curtis. She answers and says she’s on her way.

Anna starts to say what she wishes, but Duke stops her and says to save her wishes for someone else. He tells her to move on with her new life and bids her good-by. She tangos away from him and he’s gone. Anna stands alone on an empty stage. Robin asks if she’s ready to go and she says yes. Nice scene.

Paul texts Ava. She better hang on to that text, since it’s basically blackmail.

Carly tells Sonny she’s going to take a bath and will meet him in bed. The doorbell rings. It’s Ava. she says she’s there for Avery.

On Monday. Sonny tells Ava to get out, Hayden tells the police that Nicholas was pushed, and Tracy tells Sabrrrina that she’s the baby’s legal guardian.

The People’s Couch Quotes of the Week

I feel vindicated, since the Couches had the same reaction I did about the Whitney/Kathryn thing on Southern Charm. It’s obvious by the look on Whitney’s face alone that Craig hit a nerve and hit on the truth.

This is better than a Real Housewives reunion. Scott, referring to the argument between Craig and Whitney on Southern Charm.

God help her if she ever goes to your house. Brandy to Julie, referring to Patricia’s reaction to Whitney’s loft on Southern Charm.

You know she slept with that guy on The Bachelor. She didn’t get to the final holding his hand. Teddi, referring to The Bachelorette.

There’s always somebody who looks like Weird Al Yankovic. Blake, referring to the singing competition, Eurovision.

Everything he sees is the worst thing he’s ever seen. Emerson, referring to Gordon Ramsey on Motel Hell. Truth!

This was the season finale <sob!>. Hope they keep the same Couches next time around.

May 25, 2016 – Nurses Ball Two & Three Times the NYC

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

So cute! Emma and Ned..er…Eddie Maine start off with Don’t Go Breakin’ My Heart. Did they practice over the phone? Lucy gives a speech about the Quartermaines and Scorpios, and how they give their time, talent, and treasure for good. She claims there will be no stage crashing tonight and that problem is solved.

Epiphany finds Obrecht tied up and gagged in a bathroom stall. “Untie me at once…please?” Obrecht says. Hahahaha! Epiphany asks what she’s wearing and Obrecht says it’s a costume. Epiphany tells her she’s not performing this year, but I think that’s up for debate now.

Carly says Ava’s ass is hers.

Laura runs into Doc.She doesn’t have a ticket, but Doc has two. Amazing! She wonders if they missed much and he says whatever’s happened already will most likely not be as crazy as what’s ahead. Undoubtedly.

Lucy plugs Aveeno, who is their sponsor this year, an tells everyone to mingle in between acts, which is totally weird.

Hayden wants to talk to Jordan who tells her to make an appointment. Nicholas whisks her away.

Lucas finds Bobbie passed out backstage. She comes to and he wants to take her to the hospital, but she refuses. He refuses to take her refusal and says, let’s go.

Carly catches Ava in the bathroom. She says Ava is going to give up sole custody of Avery. Ava tells her she’s drunk or delusional. She says she’s going back to the party, and Carly says the party is in her phone. It’s not the confession she wanted, but a video of Paul and Ava in a bondage scene. Although, I’m not sure how this could really be held against Ava, since they’re both single, consenting adults, and it’s not like Avery was in the room. Ava says Carly broke into her home. Carly says she’ll post the video online if Ava doesn’t give her what she wants. Ava tells her to loosen up and leaves. Well, that backfired.

Franco asks Jake how he feels about making his debut. Jake says he has butterflies and Franco tells him to imagine the audience is quacking ducks. Jason isn’t happy about Franco being around Jake. Sam says the more he remembers the more he’ll hate Franco, and Jason says he already does.

Lucy continues to try and talk Griff into being in the show. She asks Epiphany if she’s seen Lucas, but she hasn’t. Lucas grabs Amy and tells her to tell Brad not to worry; he has to take Bobbie to the hospital. Lucy asks Jake to go on early.

Finn sees Obrecht back at the hospital and says he thought she was attending the ball. She says she did too, and I’m surprised she gave up that easy.

Jake goes on and freezes. Elizabeth tells him he can do this. Franco gets on stage and tells him, “Quack,” and they quack back and forth. Franco plays percussion while Jake sings. Franco helps him with the chorus too, and Nina gets verklempt.

Lucas wheels Bobbie into the hospital. Finn tells her she has vertigo. (Me too.) Lucas wants to postpone the wedding, but Bobbie tells him to go.

Carly sends the video to Paul and tells him to make Ava get in line. He grabs Ava and tells her to make it go away. She says a little sex scandal never hurt anyone. He says he could lose his job and he still has the confession. He tells her to do what Carly wants.

It’s Magic Milo and His Magic Wands! Curtis, Griff, Dillon and Felix also participate. For Griff suddenly getting pulled in at the last minute, he knows all the steps. Was he a dancer before he was a priest? I think so, since he can break dance like a pro. I applaud when their butts spell out Nurses Ball.

Ava slaps the phone out of Carly’s hand, but she still has the flash drive. Ava takes her shoes off . She and Carly wrestle. They must have laughed like crazy practicing this scene.

Obrecht asks why Finn was drummed out of his last job. He says he quit. She asks what he’s hiding and he says wouldn’t she like to know.

Nicholas drags Hayden away from Jordan again. Curtis sees it and thinks maybe he should say something. Valerie tells him to go; he can make it up to her later. Curtis finds them out in the hall and tells Nicholas to let Hayden go.

Someone is injecting Bobbie with something in the dark, but Lucas comes back into the room and asks what’s going on.

Jason wants to stop Elizabeth from hanging around Franco. Diane comes in and tells him he’s being sued. She says the money he used to get the ELQ stock came from organized crime. The IRS has frozen ELQ’s assets.

Ava gets the flash drive and flushes it down the toilet. Carly tells her it’s in the cloud and she’s about to lose custody of Avery.

Uh-oh, it’s time for the wedding and Lucas isn’t back yet. And stupid Amy never gave Brad the message. This is going to look like Lucas stood Brad up.

Lucas is unconscious beside Bobbie’s bed.

…to be continued.

Little Women NY

It’s time to clean up the camp, but Jazmin has to get something off her chest. She whips out a video of Katie and Jess having a cigarette. Lila makes mention of Katie taking a long drag. Yeah, that’s because she probably doesn’t have one too often. She also says something about Katie’s belly being tiny and relating that to cigarettes and low birth weight. For the love of all that’s holy, I can’t believe this girl took a video and involved the entire group when she has no idea about anything. If you’re so concerned, how about just taking Katie to the side and asking her about it? I swear, I’d smoke just to spite them. this bunch is nosier than the Housewives.

PJ comes to the city. Jess isn’t thrilled to find him in the apartment when she just wants to unwind after the camping trip. Katie realizes Jess isn’t happy, but says she needs all the help she can get since it’s getting close to baby time. They’re also getting evicted because the landlord found out about Jess’s dog. Nice welcome home.

Dawn is still pissed about the fight she and Lila got into. They meet for tea and Lila apologizes, saying she needs to be mindful that Dawn is a person with feelings. Maybe if Dawn acted like a human more often, she wouldn’t forget. Dawn says she ended up talking with Jazmin at the campsite and thinks they’ve resolved things. She also wants to talk to David, since apparently they have unresolved issues.

The gang is inviting Katie and Jess to Dawn’s place for a barbecue that’s really an intervention. Since Lila has been the object of one herself, she tells everyone several scenarios can happen. They role play. Lila says, as Katie already feels judged, she might not believe it’s coming from a good place. While I realize they are coming from a good place, I’m not down with this for that exact reason. They have picked on this girl mercilessly since day one. They’re probably the reason she’s smoking.

Lila says if it doesn’t seem genuine, and just seems critical, it’s not going to go well. When Jazmin asks what’s the worst hat can happen, Lila says Katie could fire up a cigarette and say f-u, and I laugh. At least she knows what she might be in for. Katie and Jess arrive and Jess tells the gang about how she came home to PJ. I’d be a lot angrier about the dog than him.

Jazmin jumps right in and asks if she’s smoking. Katie says once in a while when she’s stressed, she takes a drag. Katie says her doctor told her not to cut it cold turkey, she weaned herself down, and she’s not a serious smoker anymore. Jazmin says she’s around Jess smoking too. Katie says her mother has lectured her, but it helps with her stress. Lila says she’s an addict and she’s bigger than cigarettes and to not let them control her. It all seems much more dramatic than it should be. Lila tells Katie about her father dying from lung disease. Katie says after the baby is born, she’s going to quit. Dawn chimes in that the baby is inhaling cigarettes now. Jazmin tells Jess she shouldn’t be an enabler. Jess says they shouldn’t attack Katie like that, and they’re not acting in a way that she would feel she could trust them. In her interview, Jess says Jazmin should have just taken them aside. At least she didn’t pull out the video.

Katie says she’s feeling crampy and uncomfortable and decides to leave. Lila asks for her cigarettes, but she doesn’t have any. So how much of a smoker can she be? She actually shows Lila her purse. Lila asks Jess for hers – seriously? – but that’s a no. These idiots just crashed and burned with their own good intentions.

When they get back to the apartment, Katie and Jess tell PJ about the intervention. Katie says the baby has been healthy throughout the pregnancy and she felt judged. Katie says not once did they ask what kind of stress she’s under or how they can help. Good point. In her interview, Jess says she bit her tongue this afternoon, but when she sees them all again, she can’t promise anything.

Jason’s father is a vet and Jess is bringing her dog for a free check-up. Because, free check-up. He asks how Katie is doing and Jess says she wasn’t happy with how things were done and she isn’t happy either. Jason says they were coming from a place of concern, but Jess says it didn’t look that way. Jason intimates that Jess has never said anything to Katie about smoking and Jess says he has no idea what she’s said to Katie and she’s not going to ride her ass.

Pup ChiChi has a cough, so of course Jason has to make a joke about smoking. Jess is like, don’t get too familiar. Jason’s father says ChiChi checks out, so just give it time. Jason says he’s trying to get out of the city a bit and asks if Jess and Katie would like to come pumpkin picking with the group. She’s not committing until she talks to Katie.

David arrives. He’s been working out of town. Jazmin tells him that she and Dawn mended fences, which makes him happy, although he wonders how long it will last. She tells him about the pumpkin picking event. She says she won’t bring up the smoking thing again, but feels like she should have been more aggressive. Geez, I guess it wasn’t enough that they basically drove Katie away.

Jess and Katie find a new apartment. Jess says good thing it’s bigger, since they have to fit three adults, a baby and a dog. She says the gang is feeling good about themselves and they left feeling like crap. She thinks Jason and Jazmin were coming from a good place, but not so much the others. She tells PJ and Katie about the pumpkin thing. She says they should go, so it doesn’t look like “they won.” PJ says just go and have a good time, and if they have something to say, they’ll hear what he has to say. Katie says that’s what she’s afraid of. Ha-ha!

It’s pumpkin festival time! Katie introduces PJ to the group. Jazmin is hoping he puts a ring on it, since he followed Katie all the way to NYC. The last time Dawn saw David, they had a huge fight, so she asks if they’re good. David says she puts him in an awkward position when she fights with Jazmin, but she feels she and Jazmin are in a good place now. She still has some issues with David, and invites him to have family time.

Katie picks up a small pumpkin, and several of the others immediately get on her case. They also think PJ should have stopped her. They do some kind of weird panning for gold thing and Lila asks if PJ might find an engagement ring. The others wonder why Katie looks stressed. Really? Lila wonders if PJ is causing her stress. No, it’s you. She and Dawn want answers. Who the blip do they think they are> Scotland Yard? OMG – Lila asks PJ what makes a eight month pregnant woman leave her baby’s father? How freaking nosy can you get?

Lila says PJ is all talk and no substance. I fail to see how she could deduce that after meeting him for five minutes. Jess asks the group if they feel that they handled the intervention correctly. She grills Jazmin as to whether she asked Katie personally about it first. Of course not. Jess thinks it wasn’t necessary to go to such an extreme. She and Jazmin argue. The whole thing makes Katie want a cigarette. Dawn says she’s sorry they put her on the spot, but they wanted to make sure Katie knew the score. Then they get on PJ’s case for letting Katie pick up the pumpkin. Jess asks why they think their opinion matters. Dawn says they’re arguing whether or not a pregnant woman should smoke, so I guess she’s in a different argument. PJ thinks if atie has half a cigarette, she’s doing well, and that pisses Dawn off more.

Katie goes to sit down and Jess talks to her. The group tries to get in on that, and Jess tells them to go away. Katie is cramping because she’s stressed out. Jason wanted to have a nice day out, but obviously, that’s not happening.

Two minutes from now, strip club time, Dawn and David argue, and Katie has a baby shower.

Little Women NY

I have no clue why they’re having back-to-back episodes tonight and destroying my TV viewing time frame.

PJ and Katie are doing a pregnancy photo shoot. During a break, Jess talks to Katie about a baby shower guest list. Katie is okay with everyone except Lila. Jess agrees that she’s a mean girl, but is also a little person with insecurity issues. Jess is adamant about not wanting her there.

Dawn visits Katie who wonders why she’s there. ChiChi makes a weewee, and Dawn acts like it’s unheard of. Dawn apologizes for the pumpkin patch debacle. Katie says she’s stressed about not being prepared for the baby and Dawn thinks that should be the father’s department. He just got there, for goodness’ sake. Katie invites her to the shower, although I don’t know why. I’d leave that one off the list too.

Jess meets Jazmin and Jason for lunch to plan the shower. Jess says she has no hard feelings, but isn’t feeling it with Dawn and Lila. Black and pink are the colors and butterflies are wanted. She tells them Lila is a no as a guest. Jazmin thinks that’s a bad idea. Too bad. Jess says it’s Katie’s day and that’s what she wants.

Dawn and Lila go shopping. Dawn talks to Lila about Katie. She says Katie’s house is filthy. What? They just moved in and it actually looked pretty together to me. Dawn talks about the shower and says she got an invite. Lila says she wants to be there for Katie, and says she wants to come along. Even though she’s not invited. Again, what is with these people? News flash, don’t ever show up to a party you’re not invited to. It’s that simple. And how dare she stress this poor pregnant woman even more?

Commercial break. Ha-ha! It’s for Nicorette. And then Haagan-Daas. Which you’ll want in place of that cigarette.

Katie has gone to her check-up. She’s been given the option to have the baby in five days or two weeks. She wants to hold out as long as possible and PJ says to let the doctor do his job. She wants to be able to bring the baby straight home, but they weren’t able to get an ultrasound and she doesn’t know the baby’s weight.

David goes to Dawn’s place. They have snacks and make small talk. She says she misses him. He says ditto, but it’s not like they spend so much time together that they’re close. Dawn says part of her holds resentment that their mother was battling cancer for two years and she was by herself dealing with it. She whines that she’s always alone and David asks if she’s ever considered why that is.

He asks where she was when he got thrown out and was living on the street. She says that was their mother’s decision and he says he’d lost a job and was homeless for five years. She acts like an asshat and he says he’s done, have a nice life, and leaves.

Dawn calls Lila to come over. She tells Lila what happened. I guess it was okay for her to criticize him, but he wasn’t allowed to do the same. Lila tries to explain that David was abandoned. She wants Dawn to understand where he’s coming from. Dawn sobs that this is what she gets for showing vulnerability. Lila says she often has trouble seeing someone else’s viewpoint. Ya think? Dawn says he should be understanding of her. She says she feels isolated and Lila says she has to move forward, and that family is everything. Dawn says if family is everything, why did David walk out? Lila has no answer.

Jazmin asks David what happened. David tells her about Dawn saying he wasn’t there when their mother was going through treatment. Jazmin says Dawn plays the pity card a lot, but won’t own up to her own stuff. He says he’s finally at peace with both his parents passing, but Dawn still has issues. IMO, she’s a walking issue. The poster child for issues.

Jess and Jazmin take Jason to a gay bar. Jazmin says he barely goes out since he started dating DJ. Jason asks why he’s there and Jazmin says to have fun. In his interview, he says he’s not married, but not single either, and isn’t sure how to deal with that. It’s not exactly a strip club, but there are guys in underwear running about and dancing with the patrons. They do more shots than my entire neighborhood bar on karaoke night. Someone sends a lemon drop over to Jason. He says he’s never had a stranger buy him a drink before. The guy slips Jason his number.

Jason wakes up with a puppy in his face and a hangover, hoping he didn’t embarrass himself. Jazmin shows him the number he garnered. He wonders if he should tell DJ, since their relationship is already strained with DJ living in another state. Jazmin thinks she should tell him. I’m on the fence. It’s not like he called the number and he didn’t ask for the number either. On the other hand, these girls have big mouths.

Katie’s mom, Kathie, comes to help. Katie starts to cry and says she just wants the baby to be healthy and doesn’t want her to come out too early. Without knowing the baby’s weight, they don’t know when is the best time to deliver. Kathie says Katie’s father would be proud and he’s looking down at her from heaven. She thinks everything will be fine. Yeah, I think Katie is just hormonal. And stressed from the twits she’s been hanging around with.

DJ comes to see Jason. Jason says they’ve always been honest with each other, but he feels guilty about something. He tells DJ about going dancing with the girls at the bar. He says he got a number, and to him it was innocent, but he doesn’t want DJ to find out some other way and be hurt. DJ asks why he went with the girls and not him. Jason says DJ doesn’t really like dancing and he doesn’t want to pressure him. DJ thanks him for being honest, but says he still wishes Jason had asked him to come.

It’s baby shower time! Katie’s doctor is finally back and wants her to come in for an ultrasound, so she’s going to be late to her own party. Jason and Jazmin get there early to help with the decorations. It’s like an explosion of pink. Even ChiChi is wearing a pink butterfly outfit. Jess tells them that it’s possible Katie might have to deliver today, but the shower is on unless she hears otherwise. Jazmin wants to know if PJ is stepping up to the plate, but Jess hasn’t seen him doing much to help. Jazmin asks if he wants the baby, and Jess says she thinks it’s just sinking in.

Guests start to arrive and Jess hopes she gets news soon, since she doesn’t know how long she can entertain everyone. Dawn and Lila arrive, with Lila announcing she’s there for the party and everyone loves a baby shower. I dunno about that. A shower is one of those things that’s great…if it’s yours.

You can hear a pin drop. Jess says who shows up for a party they’re not invited to. Jess asks Lila if she spoke to Katie unbeknownst to her. Lila says Dawn told her about it and she wanted to give the baby a gift. Dawn concurs that she invited her. Jess says it’s not Dawn’s party, it’s Katie’s, and Katie didn’t want Lila there. There’s a bit of an argument and Dawn acts high and mighty in her interview. Like it’s all about the baby. Even the baby wouldn’t want them there. Jason brings up when Lila kicked Terra out of their party, which is exactly what I was thinking about. In her interview, Jazmin says they shouldn’t be arguing in front of everyone, which I agree with. Jess finally takes Lila in another room. Lila says if Katie starts cramping, she’ll leave, and Jess says oh yeah, let it get to that point. I’m pretty stunned. Lila won’t even let Jess talk. Lila tells her to keep the Jameson to a minimum when the baby comes. Jess says not everyone is a drunk like Lila. Lila finally leaves with Jess shouting she doesn’t know how many times she has to tell Lila that Katie doesn’t want her there.

Next time, Jason brings up Terra again to Lila, Lila argues with Jason, Katie argues with Dawn, and Lila and might go into labor.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Dorinda and Jules are shopping. Dorinda has Bethenny in a gift exchange. Ramona is going to be there (Jules has her), and she and Dorinda didn’t exactly leave things on a good note. Jules hates confrontation and stayed out of the way. Dorinda says Ramona needs to grow up and be respectful. She says she’ll be cordial, but she’s done with the apologies. Her mother said have people who warm you, but don’t burn you. Actually I paraphrased, but I think mine is better.

Bethenny is having a holiday cavier party. I cry because I’d love to go to something like that. Carole and Jules are there, along with some other friends of Bethenny’s. Ramona comes waltzing in and wants a margarita, after which she has an unbelievable story.

The Countess is out with Sonja. Sonja says they rarely see each other because The Countess is always out. The talk about that weird guy from the party. OMG, TMI. The Countess says she went out with him a couple of times, but realized something was “off” with him and she’s too old to deal with hot messes. She says he was pissed and that’s why he was aggressive at the party.

Ramona tells the girls about the same weird guy. She acts like nothing was wrong and John just came over to kick him out. She also pretends that John just put his hand in her face for no reason out of the blue. Not that I think he should have done that, but she had a hand in it too, no pun intended. Well, maybe a little. She says Dorinda was freaking out, but suddenly, Jules says she has a different story. Jules says she’s leaving out the part about the guy causing The Countess to be uncomfortable and how weird and drunk he was.

The Countess tells Sonja that Dorinda told her she’s done with Ramona. She says there isn’t one cute guy at the bar, and Sonja says they’ll look better after another drink. Geez.

Dorinda comes to the party. Bethenny meets her at the door and tells her that Ramona is sorry. Dorinda says she’s feeling overwhelmed and trying to pretend everything is good. Bethenny tells her that she should spend some quiet time alone for herself.

Ramona shovels in the caviar. Dorinda enters the party, ignoring Ramona. Ramona tries to engage her. In her interview, Ramona says she’s going to pretend everything is fine. Everyone eats caviar on tiny pancakes. Dorinda invites the girls to the Berkshires where she wants to have a holiday party. She’s not inviting Sonja because she thinks her drinking will lead to drama.

Carole talks to Dorinda on the side. Carole thinks it’s sad that Dorinda and Ramona’s friendship has been disrupted by a guy. Dorinda talks to Ramona, who says she’s not going anywhere, but Dorinda says it’s a one-sided deal now. They open their gifts, a lot of which are funny.

Sonja wonders who The Countess’s mystery man is. The Countess says Dorinda introduced them and he’s special, so she’s keeping him under wraps. She says in her interview that his name is Tom and I guess this is the guy she’s engaged to now. The Countess sees that there’s an article about the weird guy and Ramona at the party in The Post. It says Ramona was thrown out of the party. The Countess thinks Ramona had some nerve talking about her being a bad influence. More TMI with these two. It’s a constant.

Dorinda meets with Sonja, who has a fanny pack that look like a pair of lips. I wish I would have had that in my Rocky Horror days. They hang out on a park bench. I assume Central Park. Sonja says she wanted to talk to Dorinda about Ramona, who she thinks is going psycho. She’s been telling Sonja that no one wants to invite her out because of her drinking when Ramona can kick it back.

First, Dorinda tells Sonja she’s coming from a good place, so you know it’s going to be bad news. She talks about doing the Berkshires thing and she says she doesn’t want to do it now. She says she doesn’t think Sonja needs to be around the ladies right now, so she’s having them up for dinner, but having Sonja separately. She says she’d rather do one-on-one with her. In her interview, Sonja seems to think it has something to do with Bethenny.

The Countess and Tom have dinner with Dorinda, John, Jules and Michael. She thought they would be supportive, while she wasn’t so sure about the others. They talk about Ramona and Tom looks scared. Oh, wait, he actually knows Ramona. The Countess says Ramona went out with him, but nothing romantic went on, which I guess means they didn’t sleep together. He says he’s known Dorinda for years, and when he was on the phone with her, she suddenly handed the phone to The Countess. John makes an inappropriate comment. Everyone ignores it since they’re used to this. He says they’ve been inseparable since their first date. The Countess says she’s protecting their relationship because the girls can be catty. They have a toast.

They show NYC at Christmastime, which is my favorite time of year there. It’s out to the Berkshires though. Ramona gets there first, along with her dog. Dorinda tells Ramona it’s her sanctuary, where she likes to go for the silence she doesn’t get in the city. They talk about Sonja and how The Countess is never at home. Dorinda alludes to who The Countess’s man is, and in her interview, Ramona says she dated him.

Ramona thinks it’s rude that The Countess hasn’t told her about Tom, since for all she knows, Ramona could still be involved. Hardly. It would probably be in The Post. Yikes. Ramona’s dog made poopy all over Dorinda’s carpet. Dorinda tells her own dog to crap all over Ramona’s place in the Hamptons. Ha-ha!

Everyone else arrives. The Countess thinks there will be drama. In her interview, she says she and Carole are “uncool.” Jules says she plays piano and The Countess threatens to sing. Jules’s father is in the hospital with pneumonia. Since the nanny quit last week, things haven’t been peachy. The Countess tells Dorinda that Sonja feels excluded. Dorinda doesn’t think it would be a good combo with Bethenny being there and Sonja drinking. Ramona thinks Sonja should work on herself.

Bethenny arrives. The Countess says Bethenny is copying her hairstyle. Maybe. The Countess says she’s staying with Sonja when she’s not staying with her new guy. Bethenny asks if it’s Ramona’s ex and The Countess is cagey. The Countess says she thinks Sonja needs her right now she’s trying to mentor Sonja, which Bethenny says it’s like the blind leading the deaf [sic] and she finds it hysterically funny. The Countess says Sonja and Bethenny have issues about the Tipsy Girl thing and it was in The Post. Bethenny says she doesn’t care so much about the name, but pick one and go with it – either you’re smart or you’re stupid. She says Sonja used her for free publicity. The Countess says the newspaper claimed Bethenny was suing Sonja, but Bethenny says that’s not true.

Bethenny says a lot of people have copied her and she was the first one to come up with the name. The Countess says that she actually thought it up. Bethenny says she must be right, since that’s what she goes around telling everyone.

Next time, Bethenny and The Countess argue, Ramona and The Countess argue, and Dorinda tells everyone to go home.

May 24, 2016 – The Nurses Ball, a Model Charter & a Wrong Finale

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

It’s time for the Nurses Ball!

Robin and Emma watch the Nurses Ball on TV because it’s such a huge event, it’s even broadcast on the West Coast. They do the red carpet thing with Nina being one of the hosts. She manages to plug Crimson while she’s at it. The dresses are fabulous and I’m guessing the actresses on the show are glad to be dressing up for a change.

Maxie talks to Griff. She says Amy thinks he’s a priest and he should shut that rumor down. He says it’s no rumor, but he’s not practicing right now. Maxie says she’s brought Nathan a tux, but Griff says he can’t be discharged yet. Maxie suggests Griff escort her then.

I love Ava’s red dress with a mermaid hem, but I think she needs more accessorizing. Ooh! I want Kiki’s earrings desperately. Obviously, today’s show is all about the fashion for me. Kiki tells Ava about her last meeting with Morgan. Ava says they’ll be the bells of the ball and Scotty says he’s proud to be escorting such lovely ladies.

Amy is in the back on her phone talking about how amazing it is that she’ll be on stage where she belongs. Elizabeth takes a tumble, but Franco catches her. Obrecht looks amazing and Carly tells her she’d better not be planning a repeat performance of hijacking the opening number, but Obrecht tells us she has something better in mind. I was really hoping she would sing, since she has a beautiful voice.

Speaking of Franco, I read that they’re holding out on Roger Howarth with his contract negotiations. Give him whatever he wants. He and Michael Easton are the best things on this show. Unpredictable, engaging, and not bad to look at.

Jordan and Andre enter together. Backstage, it doesn’t look good for Elizabeth’s ankle. Lucy tells her to just walk the red carpet and promote the show. When Nicholas is introduced, Nina calls Hayden out as Rachel Berlin. Hayden says she had nothing to do with her father’s business and nothing stashed in her sock drawer. Nicholas suggests that might be otherwise, but says it keeps life interesting.

Lucas is pretty nervous. He and Brad are trying to stay apart until the wedding, but catch a glimpse of each other. Uh-oh, bad luck.

Lucy tells Carly what’s one tiny disaster, but won’t tell her what it was.

Anna and Andre meet at the bar. Jordan joins them and tells Anna they’ll meet tomorrow and talk about getting the charges dropped.

Hayden isn’t too thrilled about what Nicholas said on the red carpet.

Lucy walks the carpet and promotes GH and their fight against AIDS. Carly, with some amazing lowlights, says this year it’s going to be better than ever. Nina introduces “homewrecker” Ava along with her “sleazy lawyer.” Ava asks who gave her a microphone and Lucy rescues the moment. She leaves and Ava tells Carly she’ll be over tomorrow to get Avery. Carly says she’ll be ready.

Griff tells Maxie it wouldn’t be appropriate for him to escort her because she’s engaged, but she says what could be safer than a priest? He says he doesn’t have a tux, but she says she can fix that with a phone call. He relents.

Anna enters the ballroom, remembering Duke. Emma comes out on stage and introduces special visitors – her and Robin. So either they were watching on the East Coast or had one helluva quick plane ride.

Maxie, also sporting great lowlights, arrives with Griff. Nina calls him arm candy and Maxie says she bets he didn’t hear this a lot as a priest. Valerie and Curtis are next.

Hayden tells Nicholas she thought they’re supposed to play the happy couple tonight. He says what happy couple doesn’t tease each other about hidden assets, and she tells him not to push her too far. He won’t like how she pushes back.

Emma asks Griff if he’s really a priest. She doesn’t understand why he never wants to get married.

Elizabeth comes in escorted by Franco. Ha-ha! Elizabeth and Hayden are wearing the same thing and Nina points it out. Maxie grabs Elizabeth to get her a new dress. Jason and Sam arrive and the host asks if that’s his ex wife or his next wife.

Carly sneaks into Ava’s room, looking for the flash-drive Ava’s confession. She picks up a martini shaker and hears something clanking around. Oh come on. Nothing is ever that easy. Carly pulls the flash-drive out of the shaker and says she’s smarter than Ava, but almost not. Ava starts to put her key in the lock, thinking she forgot her checkbook, but finds it in her purse.

Robin makes the rounds. Bobbie makes a little speech to Brad and Lucas and they have a toast.

There’s friction between Franco and Jason, and Jason tells Elizabeth she’d better keep his son away from Franco. Jason apologizes to Sam, but she says he has nothing to apologize for. Robin sees them and Jason tells her he’s starting to remember. He says he’s glad she’s there and she says she’s glad they both are.

Carly takes the drive to a laptop. It would be really funny if it’s not the confession.

Nicholas tells Jason he knows about his stunt with the IRS and if he wants war, he has it. Jason doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Sam tells Nicholas Jason is starting to remember. Nicholas says that’s great, but he doesn’t want Jason destroying his life.

The show starts. Lucy tells herself to keep her clothes on. She makes the opening speech. We start with the staff number, led by Epiphany. It’s a semi-rap number that takes us down Memory Lane, and ends with an explosion of confetti.

Lucy makes a plea for donations and thanks Nicholas for his.

Obrecht says now that the crowd has warmed up, they can savor her medley from The Sound of Music. She has puppets and is dressed in a Heidi outfit, but a bunch of orderlies in masks come in and kidnap her. Boo!

Carly sess what’s on the flash drive and says OMG.

Bobbie faints backstage. Told you something was up with her.

Lucy says she promised a night of surprises and….

…to be continued tomorrow.

Below Deck Mediterranean

Jen asks Danny how the make-out was, and even though we all saw it, he pretends like nothing happened. Katie and the models head back to the yacht for dinner. It’s also Katie’s birthday. Ben is busy filleting a fish and no doubt will be baking, although he says that’s not his forte. Jen has decided to keep what she knows about Danny to herself.

Apparently the guests want sushi served by guys with bow ties and no shirts, and Bryan says you gotta give ‘em what they want. Hannah oils the guys down. She says it’s not necessary, but fun. I dunno about that.

Katie sees the birthday banner and tries not to cry. I don’t know if that’s because she’s overwhelmed with happiness or bummed because she’s getting older. The sushi looks fabulous. No surprise, since Ben is a master. Hannah thanks the guys for being good sports.

Next are some gigantic shrimp that are basically looking back at the guests. One of the models has to leave the table because “she’s very spiritual” and is thinking all the shrimp are a family. She says even flies matter to her. Okay. I’m actually thinking of going vegetarian, but not thinking of going insane. She asks if Ben has any vegetarian sushi. He doesn’t, but he says he’ll whip something else up for her. He says the drunker you get, the more vegetarian you become. Danny goes to cheer her up. Rolling my eyes.

Bryan tells the captain all went well. Danny starts writing a poem for the girl who was upset about the shrimp and Bobby tells him they have actual work to do. Danny gives him a hard time, so he calls Bryan to the break room. Danny explains what he’s doing and the captain has to tell him it’s inappropriate. The captain asks if this is something that’s been building, and Danny says they’ve made a connection, but nothing happened. Captain Mark tells him no more building, connections or anything else. He says they’re here to serve them and make them happy, but not to have relationships with them. Danny says he needs space and broods by his bunk.

Ben has made a crazy-looking cake. Hannah hopes the guests will like it, but thinks they’d probably be satisfied with a cupcake with a candle in it. I’ll bet it tastes fabulous. Cake looks can be deceiving.

Danny can’t seem to help himself and gives the model the poem anyway. He wants to make “a moment” for her and feels it’s the right thing to do. Idiot.

Model Morgan reads the poem out loud and it’s the worst. All the girls think it’s sweet though. Danny talks to a couple of the models on deck and Bryan asks to speak with him. He lies and said he wasn’t talking to them, but Bryan says he’s pretty pissed and that he’s acting like a twelve-year-old. Bobby can’t even believe what’s going on. Seriously. It’s like your waiter getting all up in your business or something.

Bryan says they explained it in every possible way, but Danny still did what he wanted to do and he’s going to face the consequences. Hannah says you work on a yacht, the captain gives you orders and you follow them; it’s that simple. Bryan tells Captain Mark what happened. The captain says he’s never had this situation before and Danny isn’t to go on deck tomorrow. Bryan tells Danny. Danny asks if he’s allowed to say good-by to the guests, but Bryan says no and he hopes it was all worth it. Bryan thinks he’s going to get the ax.

Hannah suggests they put Danny under a microscope and study him. Bryan is nervous that he’ll have to rely on Jen more once Danny is gone, but he tells her he’s confident they can handle it.

It’s docking time and the wind is blowing like crazy, which makes it more difficult. The crew chases the breakfast table settings around. Jen says growing up, she was always one of the boys and it’s annoying that they don’t seem to trust her with important tasks. The crew is having a hard time hearing the captain, so he decides to go back out and regroup. They have to anchor outside the dock and the guests have to leave on a tender. I have no idea what that is, but I assume it’s a boat of some kind.

Bobby broods in his bunk. He says he thought he made friendships for life with the models. Highly doubtful. The girls present everyone with towels. I hope this isn’t in lieu of a tip. No one asks where Danny is despite those lifelong friendships. Oops, I spoke too soon, since one of them put a note in his towel. The captain has Bryan bring Danny to the bridge. I wonder if he’s going to make him walk the plank. And yes, a tender is a boat, not a sweet deckhand.

Captain Mark asks Danny what he was thinking. Danny says he thought it was the right thing to do. The captain asks if he still thinks so. Danny says no, because the captain said so, but he likes lifting people up who are down. The captain suggests he be a Walmart greeter. He says the girls are professional flirts and he’s lost the respect of everyone and also his tip. He says he can’t have crew members he can’t trust, and he can’t trust Danny.

Captain Mark says the part that bothers him is that Danny still thinks he’s right and wonders what he can’t trust him with next. The captain says it’s not a question of his honesty, but his integrity. Danny begs and the captain says he can stay, but he has two strikes already; a third and he’s out. He says Danny will have to earn the respect back. He hopes Danny doesn’t prove him wrong.

At tip time, Captain Mark tells everyone Danny started feeling and stopped thinking, but he’s giving Danny another chance. Ben feels badly about Danny, but probably not about the extra tip. Twenty grand, USD. In her interview, Hannah says she would have fired him. Not for the poem per se, but for disobeying the captain’s orders. The wind dies down and Tiffany asks if she can help the deckhands dock. Hannah, who seems a little more chill with Tiffany, gives the okay. Bryan admits she’s pretty good with the lines.

Bobby thinks Danny should have been fired, but respects the captain’s decision. He says he doesn’t hate Danny, but he is pissed off at him. Bryan says it will take a miracle for Danny to regain his trust.

It’s night out time, but Bobby and Danny are doing a safety check, so they can’t go. The crew goes to dinner, which means more drinks than food. Bobby wants to give Danny another chance, since he’s his roommate and he doesn’t want tension. Apparently, whatever schematics they have are outdated by ten years, so they can’t find half the safety stuff listed. Danny wastes some time cutting out dog pictures for Jen who misses her dog. Well, at least we know that has nothing to do with romance.

Jen orders chicken, white rice and green beans and Ben says she likes boring food. She’s the same one who didn’t like the “old buildings” and the food in Greece. After dinner, it’s serious drinking time. They drink some shots in really weird glasses that look like tiny mason jars.

Ben says Bryan’s filter seems to dissolve with alcohol. He likes it and thinks it’s healthy. He also thinks the girls in the crew are hot. Hannah tells Bryan that Ben is a good flirt and says she’s yet to date a chef. I have news for her; he said he’s not interested.

Jen likes the surprise Danny left her. She says he’s redeemed himself and deep down he’s a nice guy. I have no doubt about that, but that doesn’t mean this is the job for him. Hannah tries flirting some more with Ben on the boat, but it’s a no. He actually seems to like Tiffany. Hannah gets offended that Ben doesn’t want to play footsie with her. Ben catches Bryan playing footsie with Tiffany in the bunk and is not too happy.

Next time, Oklahoma millionaires, Hannah is back on Tiffany’s case, and Danny acts like an asshat again.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Alex goes to Rusty and says Randal won’t leave her alone. He asks if Randal raped her and she says no, but Rusty insists he did. He asks if she called the law and she says no. Rusty says good and tells her to stop lying about the rape. She says that’s not what happened and Rusty asks what she’s saying then. Alex says she had an affair and Rusty slaps her. It’s unfathomable to him, and he says he should kill her. He asks if the baby is Randal’s and she says yes. Her mother comes out and asks what’s going on. Rusty says Alex is breaking his heart.

Rusty tells her that Randal won’t leave Alex alone. Her mother is like, oh, so you’re coming here for help now. Rusty tells Alex she disgusts him and he spits on her. As ever, the soul of decorum. Alex is shocked, although I don’t know why, since she grew up with him abusing her. Rusty goes inside and her mother tells her she’d better leave. She says when Rusty gets calm, it’s time to get away.

She must be right because he comes out with a shotgun. Alex says Randal is trying to take her baby and Rusty says good, because “they” should all stay together. Alex says she’s not leaving until they help her and her mother goes nuts, screaming and yelling and smacking her, until Alex finally gets in her car and goes.

Rusty says he needs to get Jessie and Oliver and gas up the truck. I’m sure this can’t be good.

Joey is in Faun’s room, which is decorated by Pottery Barn Teen. She has to make some pick-ups, but Joey isn’t comfortable with her carrying all that money. He says she should carry a gun. She gets one of her father’s guns and gives it to him. She says he can be her security.

Eddie bugs Claudia. He says he wants to apologize for Esperanza. She tells him to get lost, but he’s not having any. He asks where she’s from and she says a place called you’re never gonna get it. Ha-ha! She says she’s never going to go out with him. He asks who she is, since the only thing real about her is her first name. He manhandles her and says whatever she’s doing there had better be in his best interest. She threatens him with some hot coffee. He says he’s watching her and she says ditto. Eddie could probably score if he didn’t behave like such a peabrain.

Andrew says he’s been trying to call Lushion. He says the captain and Steve have been talking all day in the office. He also says Eddie left on Claudia’s heels and it’s not good. Lushion says he has to go sign papers for the house and tells Andrew to keep his eyes open and keep him posted. Andrew asks why he came back, and Lushion says for his pay stubs, but I have the feeling it’s something else and that Andrew thinks it’s something else. Lushion goes out to the hallway and leaves a message for Claudia to call him.

Marcie goes to Brad’s office. She says he hasn’t been answering his phone and wonders if he’s angry. He says no and that he understands. She says she’s sorry and he says that’s one thing he doesn’t need anymore. Marcie asks what he wants and Brad says his life back before Randal. She says he can’t have that, but when they both figure out what they want, they can create it for themselves. He says she put him out of the apartment and she says they need boundaries and barriers.

She asks if he’s seen the baby. Brad says a few times and Marcie asks what he looks like. Brad says like a lie. She says maybe some day they’ll only see a beautiful baby. He tells her it’s wishful thinking. She says if he gets back by nine, she’ll be in her room and they won’t have to see each other.

Commercial break with important information. The Haves and the Have Nots is back on Tuesday, June 21 at 9 pm.

Kelly is watching the baby. Justice calls and he’s spending the night at a friend’s house. She keeps trying Alex’s phone, but there’s no answer and she’s starting to worry. She sees Ramses outside because he does lawn work 24/7. She tells him the leaf blower is going to wake up the baby. She asks if he wants to come inside and he says he’s fine. She says she owes him an apology. He says it’s all good, but he has work to do and blows her off. She apologizes again.

Lushion drives up and Kelly barely says hello. Lushion asks if Ramses has talked to her and Ramses says he’s done with all that. Lushion suggests he give it another try, but Ramses isn’t interested. Lushion gives him the check and the contract for the house. Ramses leaves and Lushion gets a call. It must be Claudia because he says be careful, he thinks Eddie is following her.

Stupid Esperanza asks Natalie if she’s okay and says she’s sorry she had to be the one to tell her. Yeah, tell her something you thought you saw, but didn’t. Natalie goes back to work and Kelly calls Esperanza. Esperanza says Lushion asked Natalie to marry him, and Kelly says what if Esperanza made a mistake and then tells her about the mistake she made with Ramses and how he won’t talk to her now. She says it’s important to be sure and not jump to any conclusions.

Alex knocks on Kelly’s door. Kelly asks her about the phone and Alex says the reception is bad at the hospital. Kelly keeps asking her if she’s okay, but Alex says she’s fine. She thanks Kelly and takes the baby. The poor nameless baby. Is he Brad? Randal? Bozo? What?

Kelly sees Claudia walk into Ramses place. She immediately dials Esperanza. What is wrong with this girl? Didn’t she just say don’t jump to conclusions? Esperanza calls Natalie over and says they have to go.

Marcie walks into Alex’s place. Alex tells her to get out. Marcie says she’s there to help her and that Brad loves her. She says he’s a good guy and Alex is making him into something else, but if she shows some remorse, he might come back. She tells Alex to call him and not just say she’s sorry, but show it. Alex asks why she’s doing this and Marcie says she wants to give Alex a fair shot before she takes him.

Marcie leaves and here comes creepy Randal. Alex won’t answer the door. He says he’ll see her in court.

Alex calls Brad. She tells him about Marcie’s visit. He says loving her and missing her isn’t enough. She says if she has to live without him, she will, but she’ll never love another man because of what she did to him. She says she should have let him know how she was feeling and she loves him and she’s sorry. She tells him if he wants to come home, just do it, and they can try to work through it. He tells her yellow daffodils. We both say, what? and he says she was wearing them in her hair when they first met and describes everything about the moment. Oh come on, man, they’re breaking my heart now. Just get back together and band together against the crazy guy.

Aww, the baby has those little mittens on that they wear so they won’t scratch themselves. Brad says he’s telling her all this because he can’t forget. Can’t forget anything apparently. He says he’s done and not coming back. Brad hears the baby and asks if it’s “his” child. Alex asks if he still loves her and he says yes, but he can’t forget and he’s not coming back. She tells him if he ever feels like he wants to come home, she’ll be waiting. He doesn’t want her to do that, but she says she will. Hey, I think he’s wearing a Loki bracelet.

Uh-oh, here comes Rusty with Bubba and Bubba.

Esperanza takes Natalie to Ramses’s house. Natalie tells Esperanza to leave. Natalie busts into the house acting the fool. The bell rings and Lushion tells Natalie to go in the back with Claudia.

It’s Eddie. Lushion asks what Eddie’s doing there and Eddie says congratulations. Lushion tells him to get lost and he asks if it’s Claudia’s car outside. He asks if Lushion is sleeping with her because nothing is adding up with her. Lushion says he’s buying the house and trying to get some peace and quiet, so Eddie needs to take his ass home. Eddie says he passed the test. He says the captain said he didn’t give them up to internal affairs so he’s good with Eddie. Lushion says Eddie isn’t good with him.

Lushion goes back in and tells Natalie that Claudia is FBI and has been doing an investigation. Lushion tells Claudia she can’t go, but she says she called Larry. Lushion is afraid his cover will be blown, but Claudia says it’s all good and leaves. The whole time Natalie keeps rolling her eyes and acting stupid. She says Claudia isn’t FBI, look at how she’s dressed. Like they all go around in pinstriped suits from the 40s. Lushion says Claudia was supposed to flirt with all the rookies and get whatever info she could. He tells Natalie that he’s FBI too, and they’ve been investigating Eddie. Natalie makes some more faces. It’s annoying me that she’s being so stupid. Lushion says that’s why he left the station in Virginia. Natalie asks why he didn’t tell her and he says the less she knows, the better. He says she can’t let anyone know. She wonders what to tell Kelly and Esperanza.

Natalie asks Lushion if he wants to move in immediately and he says yes. She calls Joey. She says she needs him home by eight to watch the kids because she’s going out with everyone. Faun and Eddie leave the burger place.

Almost creepier than Randal, Travis hops over the back fence at Kelly’s place.

Lushion and Natalie wait for Joey. Natalie wants the kids to see the house and says Joey has five more minutes. Joey comes toward the building with Faun and Quan jumps out with a gun. Joey pulls out his gun and both he and Faun get hit. Lushion comes running downstairs and Natalie dissolves into tears.

Travis sneaks into Kelly’s house. What is up with this weirdo? He watches Kelly sleeping and is totally creeping me out. He touches her and I can’t believe she doesn’t wake up. This is making me totally uncomfortable. He leaves the bedroom. The door makes a sound and Kelly wakes up. He leaves the house like he’s all thug. Kelly hears a dog barking and comes out wondering what the blip? He’s left her front door wide open and she freaks.

She closes and locks it, but he’s still skulking around, now peeking in Ramses house. He breaks in there too, like a pro. I thought this dude was supposed to be a missionary. Did I miss something? He sneaks around Ramses place. He goes into the bathroom. The lights are on and he closes the door.

Alex is sitting with the baby. She hears a car and puts him in his little seat. Ugh! It’s Rusty and the boys. Man, someone better call the cops about something. There’s a bunch of yelling and I’m assuming they’re at Randal’s house. Alex checks on the other kids, telling Paisley it’s nothing when she asks about the noise. Alex goes downstairs.

She goes out the back and it sounds like Rusty and friends are busting up the place. We hear gunshots. For a small town, it’s pretty lively here. Alex goes back inside. The door is open and the baby is gone.

It’s silent during the credits, but they’re changing in exact time with my wall clock ticking.

This was the season finale. Hopefully, the baby will have a name next season.

May 23, 2016 – GH & the Not So Charming South

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Like a good stage manager should, Felix yells at everyone to focus and get everything ready. Brad and Lucas talk about how everything is always a mess before the Nurses Ball, but somehow it comes together at the last minute. Just as Lucas says nothing bad is going to happen, something falls with a loud crash.

Hayden tells Curtis that being broke is no picnic. It isn’t for Nicholas either, who’s calling the bank to make his deposit liquid immediately and staring at the shiny big diamond he’s going to sell. He trips over something of Spencer’s and the diamonds go everywhere. Elizabeth comes in and he asks her not to tell anyone.

Obrecht tells Finn she’s been doing research on him. She says his former employer has some strange privacy protocols. He asks what she’s looking for. She says she wants to make sure the trail of corpses didn’t start at a previous job. He says she’s crazy and she says her only concern is the patients.

Julian gives Alexis a gorgeous necklace, like that’s going to make her forget he’s a murderer. She says he’s trying to buy her silence. He asks if every gesture he makes is going to be picked apart now. Yeah, probably.

Sonny and Michael are on the plane and Michael says he’s going to follow Sonny’s lead. Sonny says the line between business and family has been blurred, but this is the first and last time.

Sabrrrina begs for her life. Marcos says he was crazy to let Carrrlos talk him into hiding her. He says practically the whole world is looking for her, including Sonny. She suggests he turn her over to Sonny. She says she used to date Michael and Marcos says Michael has already been looking for her. She tells him he’ll just make it worse if he kills her. Marcos says he has to cover his tracks so there’s nothing to connect them. Just as he’s about to shoot, Michael comes storming in with Sonny right behind. Michael knocks Marcos down and gets the gun away. Well, Marcos just made a mess for himself.

Elizabeth asks where the diamonds came from. Nicholas tells her it’s a recent acquisition, and even though she’s usually a dimbulb, Elizabeth figures it out right away. She says if he turns them over to the Feds, Hayden will be gone forever. He says too late, he’s already sold one.

Hayden says she hates being poor more than she hates being wronged. She tells Curtis she has something going on the side that might change things. She says she’ll catch up to him later and maybe he’ll change his mind about stealing the diamonds back.

Valerie tries to talk Bobbie into being in her act, but Bobbie says she’s already doing something and she’s not feeling that great. Lucas asks if she’s sick and she says she wouldn’t miss the Nurses Ball; it’s her favorite night of the year. Since they made a point of her not feeling well, I assume this is going to factor in later. Brad and Lucas look like cats who ate canaries and Lucas says this might be her favorite one ever.

Hayden asks to talk to Finn. He says no. She gives him a check for ten grand and says it doesn’t begin to cover his loss, but it’s a start. He says money can’t bring the people back who died because of her father’s greed. I’m kind of surprised he’s being so unreasonable.

Sonny tells Michael to take Sabrrrina back to the plane. Marcos starts to babble and Sonny tells him to shut up. He says if Marcos wants to save his own life, he’ll tell him about Julian Jerome. Ha-ha! Big baby Marcos isn’t so tough anymore.

Julian asks if Alexis is going to second guess everything now, but she says she loves him and she just needs to process things. He says blah-blah-blah their future is entirely in their own hands. He gets a call from Lucas who wants to ask him something in person and asks Julian to meet him at the hospital. Julian asks Alexis if she wants to come, but she says she has a lot of work and a manicure appointment. And she’s washing her hair. I made that last one up. Julian leaves and Alexis breaks out the bloody shirt. She makes a call, asking someone to come over immediately.

Curtis tells Valerie her rehearsal looked good. She says what about his act, and he says it’s top secret.

Bobbie tells Brad she’s happy he’s joining the family. Felix overhears her talking about them getting married at the Nurses Ball. There goes that secret.

Nathan asks Julian to be his best man. Julian says he’ll have to find someone else. He says nothing would make him happier, but he doesn’t want to steal the spotlight since he’s been in the news recently. Lucas says they don’t care, but Julian says he wants something better for them.

Nicholas tells Elizabeth the diamonds are leverage against Hayden and also collateral. He says they can help him maintain his lifestyle until he gets it together. He says because of the diamonds, he was able to contribute to the Nurses Ball. Elizabeth says Lucy would have understood, but she’ll keep his secret.

Sonny grills big baby Marcos about Julian. He says Carrrlos kept him in the dark for the most part. Sonny is like, oh, so you got involved by accident? Marcos says he did and he doesn’t want any trouble with Sonny. Sonny says that’s too bad because now he has no use for Marcos. Marcos swears he didn’t know anything; he was just doing a favor for Carrrlos. Sonny tells him it’s going to be a costly favor.

Diane comes to Alexis’s house. Alexis wants Diane to be her attorney. I love Diane and can’t wait to see how this plays out. Diane asks if something has made her question Julian and Alexis says possibly. Diane asks if it has to do with Carrrlos, and tells her that she doesn’t have to worry about testifying against her husband. Alexis says it’s not Julian she’s worried about; it’s herself.

Sabrrrina thanks Michael and asks why he came after she lied to him and ditched him. She explains how Carrrlos talked her into going with him, but she realized immediately that it was a bad choice. Michael says she should have come to him. She says she picked up the phone a bunch of times, but she was with the man who shot his father and she was afraid. Michael tells her Carrrlos is dead and she says she knew already, and God help her, she was relieved. Michael says he’s the one who found him, but Carrrlos wouldn’t tell her where she was and then died at the hospital.

Nicholas tells Lucy he’ll be at the Nurses Ball with his wife. Hayden comes in and asks where he got money for the donation. He says he re-positioned some of his assets. She says he doesn’t have any and realizes he sold some of her diamonds.

Hayden wrestles Nicholas for the diamonds. They end up in a compromising position and almost kiss. He tells her that she has to play the doting wife at the Nurses Ball. She asks what she’s supposed to wear and he gives her a diamond, saying hock this. She says they both have leverage on the other, but he has more to lose than she does.

Sonny tells Marcos he’s not going to shoot him…today. A cop enters and Sonny says he makes a point of cooperating with law enforcement. He says Marcos’s associates are going to testify against him. Marcos calls him a bastard, but Sonny says don’t blame him, blame Carrrlos.

Curtis suggests he and Valerie do a number together. He says he can just stand there and she can make him look good.

Brad asks Felix to be his best man. Felix says yes, and Lucas says Brad is doing better than him. Lucas calls Sam and she agrees to be his best person.

Diane tells Alexis that if she has evidence, she should come out with it now before the police find it independently. She asks if Julian has been threatening her. She shows Diane the necklace and says she loves Julian, but can barely look at him. Diane says he should know better than to buy her silence. Alexis says she’s not necessarily afraid of him, just afraid. Diane promises to be at her side every step of the way and asks if she thinks she can turn him in. Alexis says she has to be able to sleep at night. Julian walks in. He has the best timing of any character on the show.

Elizabeth tries to talk to Finn and he blows her off, then goes back to apologize. He says Roxie is almost as misunderstood as he is, but she would even be embarrassed at his behavior. He leaves and Obrecht tells Elizabeth to stay away from him and that he’s not who he seems to be. She doesn’t know in what way, but she’s going to find out.

Sonny gets back to the plane and tells Michael about Marcos. He says Marcos was too scared to lie and he has to find another way to get Julian.

Diane tells Julian she’s there to steal Alexis away. Alexis says they’re going for a manicure together for the Nurses Ball. Julian says Lucas wanted him to be his best man, but he said no because of the publicity. Diane tells Alexis they have to move or they’ll be late. Outside, Alexis says that she doesn’t want Julian arrested before the wedding, so they’re really going for a manicure. Julian peeks out in between the blinds.

Tomorrow, the Nurses Ball! Carly tells us that this year it’s going to be better than ever. I always wonder how Lucy will lose her clothes. I love tradition on this show. Like the Quartermaines having pizza every Thanksgiving.

Southern Charm

Who knew Craig was going to be the one to get a clue? He tells Whitney he’s just mad that Kathryn hooked up with his best friend after being with him. He says it’s the only logical explanation for the hate. Cameran isn’t believing it, but he says give him a better explanation then. He says they can’t come up with a reason for hating Kathryn so much. Whitney is aghast that Craig is believing Kathryn over him. Craig says Whitney keeps saying Kathryn offended him, so how? Whitney just keeps calling her a lying psychopath.

Craig reminds Whitney about him calling Craig out at his parents’ for being a lazy bum. Craig doesn’t believe you can be so passionate about hating someone unless it was personal. In his interview, Shep says if he was a shrink, he’d be wondering about Whitney’s passionate protests and brings up the Shakespeare quote about protesting too much. Whitney claims it was a one-night stand and starts getting stupid. Shep finally tells everyone to shut up. Whitney calls Craig names and leaves the deck. In his interview, Craig says Whitney’s being a bully has come back to haunt him.

Cameran tells Craig he should be ashamed and he says he had to get it off his chest. Cameran says Whitney has never been hurt over a girl, and wonders if Craig is just creating drama. Shep says he’s sick of blubbering idiots and goes to get champagne. Dani says it’s not okay to sit around and say how crazy Kathryn is and if they’re going to say something about Kathryn, Thomas should be discussed too, because it takes two. JD says their relationship has affected everyone. Cameran says it’s sick and pathetic to watch.

Craig tells Shep this has been a huge source of animosity among the friends, but Shep says he’s annoyed this all came about at his house. He says it isn’t the time or place for Craig’s theories. Cameran tells Craig he should apologize to Whitney. For what? Cameran calls baby Whitney back in and Craig says he’s sorry he upset Whitney, but he thinks there was more going on between him and Kathryn. Why is this such an outlandish idea? Cameran tells him to care about things that matter , you know, because another human being doesn’t. I don’t get this irrational hate either and figure Craig is right.

Naomie tells Craig he was rude and he ruined everyone’s night. Craig says he’s sorry, but in his interview, he says if you don’t stand up for people, you’re a coward and he believes this is the truth.Whitney gets absolutely insane about someone he claims to care nothing about? Really? And we saw that she was keeping her clothing at his house, so wtf? I liked Whitney at the beginning, but he’s turned out to be one big d-bag. I liked his mother too, but ditto. You’re not all that anymore, honey. If you ever were.

Whitney says he woke up angry. Oh man, he is totally lying about that one-night stand. Otherwise, he would just laugh it off. He says Craig is just harboring resentment about how Whitney behaved at Craig’s parents’, which at least he admits wasn’t quite the right approach. Cameran and Whitney leave. Bye, Felicias!

Thomas calls Kathryn. She tells him her induction date has been moved up. Her blood pressure has been like a roller coaster, so the doctor wants to get the baby born.

At breakfast, Landon tells Shep she had fun except for the Craig thing. Shep says he doesn’t get hangovers from drinking, but he does from stupid stuff. Dani has left too, but because of work. Craig says Whitney can dish it out, but he can’t take it, and ran away like the guilty party he is.

Patricia goes to visit Whitney, who is playing guitar badly. It’s Whitney’s third loft in three years and Patricia says they’ve all looked like Isis prison camps. She asks about the trip. Wait for it….

He doesn’t want to talk about it. Patricia lets it go, since Southern WASPs don’t talk about their feelings. She asks him to bring his girlfriend, Larissa, around some time. Whitney talks about a guy’s trip to LA, but says he only has two bedrooms, so he’s only inviting Thomas and Shep. Patricia says she saw JD at the bank and asked what Craig actually does for him, and JD said Craig is his bitch. These people might be Southern, but not so charming. As a matter-of-fact, they’re pretty rude. Is this what old money does to you?

Thomas can’t get ahold of Kathryn. Nanny Dawn says Kathryn is angry because he’s going to LA with Whitney and if anything happens, he’ll never get back in time. Dawn tells him Kathryn left, but she doesn’t know where she went. She says Kathryn is overwhelmed and this could have been avoided. Cool that the nanny is on Kathryn’s side.

Craig has invited Cameran to lunch to clear the air. Naomie says she’s never seen Whitney so upset. Craig says they seem to be on a mission to ostracize Kathryn and he’s surprised at Cameran. Naomie was shocked at how crazy everyone got and says she’d rather not hear about it anymore. Craig still believes what he believes, but doesn’t think it’s worth losing friendships over.

Whitney gets to his place in LA to clean up a little before the guys’ weekend. Thomas calls and says he’s not coming because of Kathryn. Whitney doesn’t get it, but says he has to do his fatherly duties and maybe another time. Thomas feels it’s better to keep things peaceful.

Cameran meets Craig for lunch. She’s another one I liked at first, but I think has become unreasonable. She tells him Whitney was really hurt about him taking Kathryn’s side. Craig says in his head it was a question, but it came off as an accusation. Cameran says Whitney doesn’t have the hots for Kathryn, he just doesn’t like her. Even if that’s the case, why can’t he at least be polite? Craig asks if they’re good and Cameran says she’s fine, but he has to make it right with Whitney. I also don’t get why this group is so supportive of Thomas, who is like the biggest idiot on earth and should be hanging out with people his own age. For a moment, I wonder why I’m watching this, since apparently, I can’t stand any of these people.

Thomas has flowers sent to Kathryn, who has a beautiful white dog. Wow. The lady delivers them in a vase with water already in it. No muss, no fuss. The note just says, “I’m very sorry – love, Thomas.” To the point.

Whitney calls Shep and tells him Thomas can’t make it. Shep asks about bringing Craig and tells Whitney he should be the better person and in his interview, says that grudges are for losers. Whitney makes some lowbrow comments, but says he’ll think about it. Anyone who dates this jerk has to be in it for the money. He has zero personality and even less of a sense of humor. He also uses words that make him sound educated, but seem inappropriate.

Craig visits Kathryn, who says she thinks Kensie has a crush on him. Aww! I’ll bet he’s cute with kids. Craig tells her about the fight at Shep’s house and how panicked Whitney got when he brought up that Whitney might have feelings for Kathryn. Craig says he was just trying to mend the friend circle, but thinks there’s no going back. He tells Kathryn she shouldn’t care though. Kathryn says ultimately the truth will come out and she only wants positivity for the new baby.

Larissa comes to LA. Whitney gives her a heart-shaped mylar balloon that says “I love you.” Bleh. He couldn’t do better than that? He’s written her a song. I put in earplugs. Yep, it’s bad.

Shep meets Craig at his bar. Craig asks if he’s talked to Whitney. Shep says it wasn’t a lose friends situation, but it was a dent. He says he’s been working behind the scenes for an invite to LA for Craig. Craig swears he won’t bug Whitney anymore about the Kathryn thing. Shep tells him he put his rep on the line because he cares about him.

Commercial break. Nine Lives looks really funny, and you can’t beat a Kevin Spacey/ Christopher Walken combo. Seriously, what could be any better?

Thomas visits Kathryn. Dawn takes Kelsie to the park. Thomas is putting together a piece of baby furniture. Kathryn tells Thomas her feelings are hurt because Whitney is always trying to put a wedge between them. She thinks that Thomas has made progress in co-parenting and she’s annoyed that Whitney wanted Thomas to go away so close to when she’ll need him. She tells him he should be around people who want him to be a better person and the best father he can be.

Next time, The LA trip, Craig apologizes to Whitney, Landon thinks she has a chance with Shep (please, no), JD can’t find Craig, JD suggests a paternity test to Thomas.

The Real Housewives of Dallas

Leeanne and Tiffany meet for lunch, along with Leeanne’s friend, Heidi Dillon. Apparently, I’m supposed to know who she is, but she looks like someone who shouldn’t be wearing what she’s wearing – some kind of outfit Kanye West might show up in. Leeanne says Heidi is her mentor. Tiffany’s husband is doing a charity event at the House of Blues and she invites Heidi.

Heidi is having a dinner party so she can meet the other girls. She’s going to be making a Frito chili pie, whatever that is. It doesn’t look like something that goes with this woman’s lifestyle. Tiffany suggests inviting Stephanie and Brandi. Leeanne says she probably won’t like Brandi, but Heidi says she’ll keep an open mind. I already don’t like Heidi, since she alludes that Cary got her rich husband by doing something nasty under his desk. I don’t know what was up with how they got together, but Cary doesn’t seem like someone who would sleep her way to the top.

Mark and Cary’s practice is going crazy busy after they updated the website. It’s their six-year anniversary. Mark tells Cary she knows what he wants for his present. They kiss through their surgical masks. Bluebirds fly around with ribbons in their mouths. Well, they would if this was a Disney cartoon.

Brandi talks to her mom, Jana. Her brother, Michael, has PTSD from serving in Afghanistan and she says he’s not sleeping or eating. He tried to take his own life and they’re both worried for him. Brandi visits Stephanie, who took the kids to school before realizing one of them wasn’t wearing shoes. Brandi tells her about Michael. She says she was angry with him for saying things like there’s no God, but she didn’t realize how bad it was. Brandi says she doesn’t know what she’d do without Stephanie. Yeah, especially with that cold fish of a husband she has. Go back to work, Bryan, and stay there. Just send the check.

Leeanne and Tiffany go shopping for House of Blues dresses. Tiffany is a little concerned because it’s the first time all the girls are getting together since Marie’s cocktail party. Leeanne says she wants to apologize to Stephanie, but doesn’t think she owes Brandi an apology. Really? She said some very nasty things about her. Tiffany tells her about Brandi’s brother and Leeanne feels marginally like an ass. Tiffany just wants to put the whole mess behind them.

Cary and Mark have a drink at home after work. She says there are a lot of haters who think Mark just wanted to sleep with her for a while, but they’re best friends. Mark’s personal shopper brings something from Roberto Cavalli for her. No surprise it’s amazing and he says it should be since it cost more than his first car. She gives him a lovey-dovey card and will be giving him a private present. In her interview, Cary says haters gonna hate, but they love each other, the end. Good on ya!

Brandi meets Bryan for lunch. She feels anxious and nervous because she doesn’t know what to expect. She thinks their lack of communication needs to be addressed. They talk about Michael. She says she feels alone and surprise! Bryan apologizes for being a jerk. Brandi says it hurt her feelings when he barely showed up to meet her grandfather. I’m totally shocked and amazed when he apologizes again and says they need to find couple time. She says he rarely apologizes and she’s thrilled. Okay, he’s back on my good side.

Commercial break. Is it wrong for me to be thinking about tomorrow’s breakfast already?

Stephanie meets Leeanne for lunch. It’s so hard to look at Leeanne because all I see is blush. Leeanne apologizes and Stephanie says Leeanne really hurt her feelings. Leeanne says she was coming from a place of pain, but that’s not really her. I hate when people say that. Who was it then? She says she was really hurt as a child and when anyone tries to hurt her, she gets loud. I think Brandi is absolutely right; she needs therapy. She’s too old to be using this as an excuse to be mean. Stephanie thinks the apology is more for Leeanne than her, but she just wants to get past it. Leeanne moves on to talking more about herself and how she’s a motivational speaker. In her interview, Stephanie says Leeanne is the most self-absorbed, narcissistic person she’s ever met and it’s beyond exhausting. Leeanne invites her to whatever conference she’s speaking at.

It’s time for the House of Blues event. The girls arrive and Leeanne introduces Heidi, who is wielding a fan. Cary thinks she should tone it down and I agree. Heidi says she’s having a dinner party and the theme is goth state fair. Okay. Keith Urban Aaron takes the stage. He’s not bad. He dedicates a song to Brandi’s brother and says his life means a great deal and to keep the faith. What a nice guy. Leeanne feels guilty and wants to move beyond the drama. We’ll see how long that lasts.

Leeanne is getting ready for Heidi’s party. She says the only person she’s hesitant to see is Cary, but boyfriend Rich says she’s great and Leeanne is just passing along gossip. She says she’ll work on being a better Christian and a better human. I see we have a long road to travel.

Cary is also getting ready for Heidi’s party. She’s bringing her friend Courtney. They talk about Leeanne and Cary’s makeup artist says something about her blush. Thank you. See? I wasn’t just picking on her.

The guests arrive and some of the outfits are pretty interesting. I think Brandi might have gotten her dress at Spirit Halloween. Cary arrives and says she feels negative energy. She focuses on Ralph the dog, which is exactly what I would do. Heidi complains to Leeanne that Cary didn’t say hello right away, but um, she’s the hostess. Shouldn’t she be making the guest feel welcome? Especially one that doesn’t know her?

Apparently a Frito pie isn’t really a pie. It’s basically a pile of Fritos with chili on it. Tiffany thinks Cary is being a snob because it’s her defense mechanism. Heidi says Cary is going to do a demonstration with a corn dog. What?! She’s a disgusting old crone.

Heidi wonders why people aren’t mingling and Cary says she thinks there’s some tension. For a goth state fair party, this is pretty freakin’ dull. Leeanne says Heidi’s parties are like powwows, but it’s obviously not working. Ooh, Heidi is friends with Mark’s ex-wife. That explains a lot. Yep, I was just going to say I’d leave if I was her and she heard me.

Stephanie says she feels like she’s the only one who doesn’t know what’s going on. Leeanne just stares at Cary as she makes her exit. More Southerners who are not so charming tonight.

Next time, Travis has a birthday, Leeanne makes a speech, and Brandi and Leeanne talk.

May 22, 2016 – Sunset Shahs, Fearing the Dead & the Throne Game

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

Shahs of Sunset

Aww! Mike has a bulldog and he’s giving it kisses. Reza comes by Mike’s place and Mike asks him if he’s excited about his upcoming nuptials. Mike tells him that Jessica left. He came home from work and she was gone, calling him later and telling him she feels neglected. Reza tells him he sucks at being a husband and he needs to stop going out to clubs with his friends instead of paying attention to his wife.

GG is out with her cousin, Nima. She says she’s feeling much better about things since the camping trip and is getting back to her silly roots. They go to a bouncy house and jump around wearing monkey suits. And I don’t mean tuxedos, I mean onsies that are monkey costumes.

Asa and Reza go to the tailor, whose name is also Reza. He says it’s like John in Persian world. He’s getting fitted for wedding attire. MJ joins them. Reza is going for a pink and grey color combo, which is one of my favorites. MJ gets teary-eyed over the wedding plans. She’s not in favor of Reza springing a wedding on Adam, and in her interview wonders what happens if he doesn’t say yes.

Asa, who is wearing an absolutely gorgeous turban in her interview, says she and Reza are running on Persian time and late as usual getting to Palm Springs. They talk about Mike while they’re in the car. Reza says as he was writing his vows, he felt guilty for thinking better them than him. I guess everyone is running on Persian time because they get there first.

Mike meets Jessica at a restaurant. He says they’ve been going to therapy since she moved out. They’ve been taking things a day at a time, and he hopes everything eventually falls back into place. They order drinks and Jessica says she’s disappointed in life. Please. We flash back to when she and Mike were first dating. She tells him all he cares about is money. Well, maybe if she’d stop spending so much, he wouldn’t have to. Mike drinks a shot of Patron and I gag. I do not like tequila.

Jessica says Mike thinks being a good husband is only being a good provider. She says she doesn’t need all that, which is a surprise to me, since she just bought a three thousand dollar tea set. She starts whining that he had nothing in the beginning, yet she stuck by him. Mike agrees that he’s been neglectful and disrespectful of her feelings. He says he wants her to come home. She makes a stupid analogy about water torture and says she’s over it. Mike says pain tells you how much in love you are and that you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. What a poet.

Back at the “housewarming party,” Reza is wondering if Mike is going to get there. GG doesn’t want to get involved with Mike’s problems without being asked, and Adam is tired of hearing about it. Mike arrives. He wants to decompress and not think about his home life, and MJ keeps trying to bring it up. Reza has rented a party house for them to actually party in, since he doesn’t want to mess up his own place.

The group parties by the pool. MJ tells everyone about Tommy moving in and going to the fertility clinic. Mike tells her he thinks Tommy is moving too fast, as he’s the perfect person to be giving relationship advice. MJ basically tells him to mind his own business.

Asa says that this could be the best day of Reza’s life, or the worst, depending on what Adam’s answer is. She and MJ go jewelry shopping. MJ can’t believe he’s waited until the last minute to get a ring. Back at the house, Mike finds the tickle spot on MJ’s dog and makes her leg start going crazy. Reza picks out a platinum ring. Mike is having a hard time not saying anything to Adam, and is concerned that one of the others will get drunk and spill the beans.

Tommy makes it to Palm Springs and MJ is elated. Asa is practicing her part the wedding, and Reza is doing a facial mask. It’s two hours to wedding time and everyone starts getting ready. Mike is tired of MJ getting on his case. Reza starts to freak because his new suit fits tight even though it fit the day before.

Everyone gets to the venue and GG is having a hard time not saying anything to Adam. Reza is feeling sick and Mike says he felt the same way before his wedding. The group sits down for dinner. Reza says he wrote a tribute to Adam that he wants to read. He talks about Adam being the love of his life and Asa dons a special turban. She asks Adam to stand up and starts the ceremony. Even I’m nervous when they get to the I do’s. Adam thinks for a long minute and we go to commercial break.

It’s a yes! Asa pronounces them partners in life and everyone applauds. Reza gives Adam the ring and Tommy tells MJ they’re next. Mike is bummed because he screwed his marriage up so badly.

Next time, Mike and MJ argue, Reza does stand up comedy, and Jessica goes out with Mike.

Fear the Walking Dead

A gunshot is heard. Daniel wakes from a nightmare.

Celia tells Victor that Thomas died believing his lies. Madison tells her to knock it off. Celia says Madison isn’t Victor’s friend, she’s his fool. Victor wants to bury Thomas. Celia says he doesn’t deserve to bury her son and Victor says he wasn’t her son. She tells them all to be out by nightfall tomorrow.

Daniel finds Ofelia walking around outside. Travis is looking for Chris and Alicia says she woke up to him holding a knife over her. Delusional Travis refuses to believe it. He continues to look for Chris and finds a zombie with a knife in his head. He takes the knife. Meanwhile, Chris is wandering around with a gun tucked into his waistband.

Madison tells Alicia and Nick that Celia is dangerous and they need to get out of there. Nick says he can talk to Celia, but that’s a no.

Travis comes across another dead zombie. He hears noises inside an abandoned building and goes inside. A living guy pops out and Travis says he’s just looking for his son. He’s having a problem with his feet, so the guy gives him a glass of water, which makes total sense only if you know the guy doesn’t speak English. Holy! No wonder Travis is having foot trouble. He takes off his sock and his foot is a bloody mess.

Nick brings a zombified Luis back to the house. Celia says he’s changed, but he’s no less her son and tells two guys to put him with the others. She tells Nick that he understands and belongs here with them. He says what about his family and she says they’re not like him. He says they’re not bad people. She says they look at the zombies like monsters, but who’s the real monster? She says they can stay if Nick will be responsible for their actions. They can all stay except Victor.

Commerical break. Did I just hear them say this is the mid-season finale? Who came up with that concept?

Daniel tells Victor not to bury Thomas there. He says the place is infected, even the dirt, and Thomas won’t rest. He says Thomas will return and hate him for it. Victor asks what’s wrong with Daniel. Daniel leaves and gets Ofelia. He says her mother is at the gate waiting for them. A group of guys grab Ofelia and Daniel fights with them.

Madison says Nick has been different since they left Los Angeles. She says he’s obsessed with the dead and Nick replies that they’re not dead. She asks if he’s been talking to Celia. Nick says that she wanted her son back and that’s what he gave her. He says he can move among them like he’s invisible.

Victor continues to dig the hole. Madison tells him she knows what he’s going through and he gives her a speech about how Nick is an addict who needs something to be addicted to, and now Celia has influenced him. Madison asks where he’s going to go, and he says the boat, if there still is one. He asks if she wants to come with him, but she says not without Travis.

Travis is getting some better shoes from the stranger. He’s able to communicate enough for the man to tell him that Chris went thataway. When he gets close, it turns out that he does speak English and he tells Travis that Chris is in the bedroom, but will hurt his son if he doesn’t get Travis to leave. Travis opens the door and Chris has the little boy hostage and tells Travis to leave him alone.

Celia makes a speech at Thomas’s gravesite about how the world is being reborn. She’s a serious whackjob. She tells Victor it’s time for him to leave and he says he’s not done. She tells him it’s a long way back in the dark and he should hurry. Ofelia tells Celia she wants to see her father. Celia says he’s resting and he’s a danger to everyone.

Chris tells Travis everyone looks at him like a monster. Travis says he’s not, but he’s scaring the kid. Chris gets distracted enough for Travis to get the gun. Chris runs outside and Travis runs after him. They tussle and Chris almost cuts Travis with his own knife. Chris tells Travis he’s no good. Where is Carol when you need her?

Daniel is resting all right; he’s tied to a chair. Celia tries to feed him, but he won’t eat. He tells her the creatures she’s keeping are an abomination. She tells him to confess his sins and ask their forgiveness. He’s also hearing another voice and I’m finding that confusing. He tells Celia he has nothing to say. Celia says not to worry. She’ll take care of him and there’s a place for him there. She leaves and he sees his dead wife standing in front of him. I assume it’s a vision since she doesn’t look zombified. I also assume that’s whose voice he was hearing.

Nick finds Travis and tells him Madison needs him. Travis says so does Chris and tells Nick that he never saw them. He says Chris can’t come back now and neither can he.

Madison tells Celia she’s making a mistake and that she and her children are alive because of Victor. Celia says he killed her son and she’s surprised Madison doesn’t understand. Madison asks what about her son. Celia says he’s open-hearted and fearless, and the only reason Madison is there is because of that. She says the zombies are their responsibility to take care of. She says it’s a new world and wants Madison to see it with open eyes. Madison says she wants to understand.

Daniel has a conversation with Griselda. She says he told her his stories and unburdened his sins on her. She asks if he told her everything and he says there are so many, he doesn’t remember. She asks about the first one and Daniel flashes back to when he was a boy and shot someone. He says that was his first victim and she says the first victim was him.

Celia takes Madison to visit the zombies. She talks about them like they’re children. Ha-ha-ha! Madison locks her in with them. Good luck with that, Celia.

A guy comes in and unties one of Daniel’s arms so he can eat and he manages to knock the guy out and untie himself. Griselda says she’s waiting for him.

Victor gets walked to the gate and says don’t worry, he’ll hail a cab.

Daniel goes to the zombie den with a can of gasoline and spreads it around. The zombies just kind of stand there and he sees Griselda. He lights the gas. It’s so cool – you can see the flames reflected in his eyes. Madison sees the fire and calls to Daniel, but it’s too late. Victor comes by with a car and tells Madison, Alicia and Ofelia to get in. Madison sees Nick and walks toward him, even though the others are urging her to hurry it up. Nick says he couldn’t find Travis and asks where Celia is. Nick says she was right; they destroy everything.

Victor grabs Madison and Nick goes to join his new people. I guess this is one way to give Madison a new love interest.

FWD is returning in August.

Game of Thrones

Sansa gets a message. It’s from Littlefinger. Brienne takes her to meet him. He says he’s glad to see her unharmed. She says that’s hardly what she’d call it and tells him what an inhumane bastard Ramsay is. Littlefinger says he made a horrible mistake. Sansa says that ladies don’t talk about most of the things he did, except maybe in a brothel. Littlefinger says he’s sorry. She tells him that he was no protector. He saved her from monsters only to give her to other monsters. She says she doesn’t need him anymore; she and Jon are taking back Winterfell. Littlefinger tells her that her uncle, the Blackfish, is still alive and how she might need him to help her.

Arya does battle with the Waif. The Waif knocks her down and tells her she’s not ready and she should go home before it’s too late. Arya gets up and the Waif drops her fighting stick, but Arya still can’t beat her. The Waif tells her she’ll never be one of them and calls her Lady Stark. Jaqen enters and says she has a point.

Jaqen walks with Arya and gives her some history about the Faceless Man. He shows her the first faces of men and says the girl is one of them if she decides. He gives her a vial, says she’s been given a second chance, and tells her about an actress she is to poison, Lady Crane.

Arya goes to see a satyric performance about the Lannisters. She’s not too thrilled when they get to the part where the Lannisters behead her father, followed by an unfair portrayal of Tyrion and Sansa. Arya goes backstage and watches Lady Crane, deciding to poison her run. She reports back to Jaqen. She says Lady Crane seemed like a decent person, but Jaqen tells her death comes for both the decent and not-so-decent.

Bran and the Three-Eyed-Raven are having a vision where the Children of the Forest turn a man into a Whitewalker. When Bran awakes, he sees one of the Forest Children and says they’re the ones who made the Whitewalkers. She says that they were at war with the humans and made them in self-defense.

Yara comes forth to claim the Salt Throne. She makes a speech, but old dude stops her, saying that the male heir has returned, so she’s wasting her breath. Theon steps forward and says that Yara is the rightful ruler and revs up the crowd. Euron gets into the act and also claims the throne, making nasty comments about Theon’s manhood or lack thereof. Yara says her first act as queen will be to execute the man who killed her father. Euron says, yep, that was him, but Balon led them into two wars they couldn’t win and apologizes for not killing him years ago. Theon says Eulon wasn’t there because he was out gallivanting, but Yara was. Yara says she’s going to build the largest fleet ever and Euron says no, he will. He says he wasn’t born to be king, but he paid the Iron price.

The old dude puts Eulon in the water so he can drown and emerge anew. His body is brought to the shore and it looks like he’s done for good when suddenly he coughs up a bunch of water, and the group chants, “what is dead will never die.” He gets a driftwood crown for his trouble and says let’s go murder Yara and Theon. Too late though, they took the best ships and are headed out to sea. Eulon tells the crowd to build a thousand ships.

Dany meets with Jorah and Daario. She tells Jorah she banished him twice, he came back twice, and now he saved her life. She says she can’t live with him and can’t live without him. He shows her the greyscale on his hand and says he has to go away, but he’s going to end it before it gets really bad. She says she’s sorry, but he says he’s not because he loves her and always will. He starts to exit like Elvis in Flaming Star, but Dany stops him, saying that she’s still his queen and she commands him to find a cure and then return to her. She says she’ll need him by her side when she takes the Seven Kingdoms. Dany rides off with her troops and Jorah rides in the other direction.

Varys says it appears that a fragile peace has taken place in Meereen. Tyrion says they have to play up that Dany is responsible for that. Tyrion asks a Red Priestess for help. She says she supports Dany, and goes on about the Lord of Light and how Dany will defeat the darkness. Varys brings up how the Red Woman thought Stannis was the chosen one and look what happened. She says even honest servants of the Lord make mistakes. She says that everything happens for a reason and talks about Varys’s castration and how he heard a voice that night. She says if he is a true friend of Dany’s, he has nothing to fear.

Bran sneaks in a vision when the Raven is asleep. He’s on the other side of the Wall and sees an ancient graveyard. There’s an army of zombie-looking men that are frozen. He sees Whitewalkers on their horses and one of them sees him. The army starts to move and the Whitewalker grabs his arm. Bran wakes and the Raven says the Whitewalker touched him and now he can get in because his mark is on Bran. He says they all have to leave and it’s time for Bran to become him.

Jon says they need more men to take Winterfell. Davos says it doesn’t look good and Sansa suggests the Karstarks. She says that her father always said the North was more loyal. Davos says they still don’t want to get skinned alive. Sansa thinks that people will remember the Stark name and rally. She tells them about the Blackfish and Davos is encouraged.

Brienne wants to send a raven to the Blackfish, but Sansa is afraid it will be intercepted and wants to go personally. Brienne says Jon seems trustworthy, even if a little brooding (ha-ha!), but she’s not sure about Davos. Sansa says that he’s cool, and Brienne asks why she lied to him about how she knew about the Blackfish.

The group, including Jon, leaves on their quest with Tormund making eyes at Brienne. Edd realizes he’s now the Lord Commander.

Meera is talking to Hodor, when she gets a bad feeling. Rightly so. There’s an army of Whitewalkers outside the cave. The leader touches the ground and it makes a beeline into the cave. Meera tries to wake Bran, but he’s busy visioning with the Raven. The Forest Children throw their version of Molotov cocktails at the Whitewalkers, but all it does is start a fire that the Whitewalkers walk right through.

Yikes! The Whitewalkers are in. Meera tells Bran he has to wake up because they need Hodor. He hears her voice in his vision. The Whitewalkers are right there and bumping off the Forest Children like they’re swatting gnats. Meera manages to kill the head walker. NOOOO! The Whitewalkers get Bran’s direwolf. Bran enters Hodor’s mind and they all manage to get out. The Night’s King goes up to the Raven. In his vision, the Raven tells Bran it’s time and he must leave.

Oh man, these Whitewalkers are some kind of creepy. The Forest Child throws a fireball at the Whitewalkers and buys time for Hodor to get the door open and get Bran and Meera out. In Bran’s vision, young Hodor is having a seizure. He starts saying “hold the door” until the words merge into “Hodor.”

This absolutely sucks. While Hodor keeps the door closed so Bran and Meera can get away, the Whitewalkers attack him.

Next time, Bran on the run, Margaery stands accused, and Daario and Dany team up.

May 20, 2016 – GH Plus GH Plus Couch Quotes

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital – Thursday

Ava comes to the MetroCourt and sees Kiki. She’s happy Kiki is back out in the world. Ava tells her that everything has worked itself out and she’s ready to re-embrace the things that really matter, like bringing Avery home. Kiki isn’t too thrilled. Ava says Franco is a certified lunatic and that she’s not even exaggerating. She wants to start fresh with Kiki and Avery, and wants to leave Port Charles with them tonight.

Carly visits Morgan. Morgan asks what’s up because he can tells something is. She tells him about Jason getting his memory back. Carly says Jason has proved things can turn around in a moment, and she’s happy to see Morgan improving too. He apologizes for hurting her and the family.

Obrecht asks to talk to Monica. She tells Monica her management is a disaster and there are terrible things happening under Finn’s watch. She wants an investigation. Monica says she’s reviewed the patients in question and finds everything satisfactory. Obrecht says that it’s policy to investigate if there are two deaths of patients under a newbie’s care.

Ned and Dillon tell Tracy they heard about her antics in trying to keep the baby for herself. Tracy says she’s sure the baby is Sabrrrina’s and was left there on purpose. She talks about how she was friends with Sabrrrina and the guys balk at that. They think it’s more likely she left the baby for Michael. Tracy is like, what difference does it make when they live in the same house?

The baby is doing well and Michael speaks with the social services rep. Dante brings the results of the DNA test in and the baby is Sabrrrina’s. Dante is trying to grow a beard and ‘stache, and I’m thinking, not a good look. They discuss where Sabrrrina might be. Michael tells Dante about the visit to Sabrrrina’s tante and thinks they should contact her.

Finn talks to Roxie, who is wearing a little harness. He tells her he has to be careful about everything he does.

Carly asks Morgan for a Kiki update and he says they’re keeping in touch. He wants to make up for all the bad stuff that happened between them.

Ava wants to have a bonding weekend with the girls. She suggests Kiki can find a way for her to see Sonny’s side of things. She wants to be a family, but Kiki says something happens every time she says that. Kiki agrees to the trip. Her phone rings an it’s Morgan. She tells him she’s on the visitor list for today and she’ll see him after work. Kiki tells Ava she can’t go after all. She doesn’t want to leave Morgan right now.

No luck with Sabrrrina’s tante. The social worker says that they’ve found a long-term foster family for the baby. Another baby with no name. Michael promises No Name he’ll find his mom.

Dillon leaves and Ned wants to talk to Tracy. He can’t believe she wanted to keep a baby that wasn’t hers and Tracy brings up Olivia’s baby and how Ned pretended it was his. He says it’s a tough road when you become attached to a baby you’ll become separated from. She thanks him for the life lesson. When he leaves, Tracy gets on the phone and tells whoever is on the other end, “let’s move.”

Obrecht tells Finn his lab time has been canceled. Monica says he has to appear before a review board. The meeting commences. He and Obrecht go back and forth a little until Monica tells them to knock it off. Monica says the death reports are consistent with what Finn has said. Obrecht says one of the patients is still on ice and they need to wait for the autopsy. Finn accuses Obrecht of causing an upheaval because she’s mad at him for losing her job. Monica says she’s made a decision.

Dante found out that someone from San Juan did come to Port Charles and returned immediately. Michael tells him about the foster care. Oddly enough, the long-term foster caregiver is Tracy. She thanks the social worker for cutting through the red tape. She asks if Michael knows where the baby is, and she says for now he doesn’t, and Tracy says she’ll deal with giving him the news.

Dillon talks to Kiki, who thanks him for helping her get it together. He asks her how she feels about loud music and large crowds. He says he has a photography assignment to shoot a band called Glamour Boys and would like her to come along. Kiki says she was their biggest fan when she was in high school, but she never got to see them. She says she has to make sure her shifts are covered.

Ava visits Morgan. He’s surprised and she says she just wants to see how he’s doing. He asks why she’s really there. Me too, since don’t you have to be on the visitor list? She says at one time, they were everything to each other and she was hoping they wouldn’t have to cross paths again, but Kiki loves him. He says he’s hoping to get out soon and Ava says she’s glad he’s feeling better because she’s needed to tell him something for a while.

Monica sees nothing wrong and doesn’t think an autopsy should be performed. When she takes a vote, only Obrecht objects. Monica tells Finn her confidence in him was and is unwavering. Afterward, Finn says he’s glad Obrecht called the meeting because it cements her reputation as a lunatic, and to stay away from him. She says she watches everything and knows he’s hiding something.

Dante tells Michael whoever came to Port Charles can’t be found. The social worker says it’s not her place, but she’s wondering why Tracy went to such trouble for a temporary situation. Tracy says she’s right, it’s not her place, thanks her and tells her good-by. Tracy calls the baby Edward, saying it’s the perfect name. Any name would be perfect. Just name him already.

Ava tells Morgan that Kiki is in a fragile place. She says things between him and Kiki always seem to take a negative turn, and she’s concerned about it happening again. She says she knows they love one another, but he should do the right thing and break things off. Morgan compares her request to wiping prints off of a murder weapon. She asks if he can promise never to hurt Kiki again and although he says yes, she’s doubtful. She says he can prove how much he loves her by doing the best thing for her.

Finn talks into a tape recorder about the patients that died. Obrecht makes a call to find out the patient deaths during Finn’s tenure at the last hospital he worked in.

Ned comes in to Tracy giving baby Edward a lesson on stocks and commodities. Michael calls Sonny and asks for a favor.

Tomorrow, Nicholas tells Hayden the games are over, Sonny knows where Sabrrrina is, and Ava comes for Avery.

General Hospital – Friday

Hayden and Curtis are having lunch. Nicholas approaches, tells Hayden, “game over,” and places some documents on the table. One of them is a court order. He says if he finds anything else missing from his home, they’re both going to jail.

Lucy discusses the Nurses Ball with Dillon. She suggests his stunningly beautiful girlfriend be in his act, meaning Kiki. Lucy gives him flyers to put everywhere and runs. Dillon tells Kiki it would be fun to see her make a fool of herself along with him, so she should consider being in the show.

Meanwhile, in Puerto Rico, Sabrrrina’s tante tells her that her son is safe in Port Charles. She also tells her that Carrrlos is dead. Sabrrrina is bummed because their child will never know his father. She talks about what a huge mistake it was to run away with him. She wants to go back to Port Charles, but her tante says that’s impossible.

Sonny tells Michael that his associates in San Juan are setting things up. Carly tells him he doesn’t have to look for Sabrrrina himself, but Michael says he does. Carly says he’s putting himself in danger and Sabrrrina has done nothing but cause trouble for him. He says she’s in trouble and he has to help her. Carly tells him to be careful. Sonny enters and asks who won. Carly says, who do you think? Sonny says the plane is ready.

Ava tells Morgan that Kiki has been through a lot and he should let her go so she can live in peace. Morgan says if Kiki wants that, she’ll say so. Ava says he’s dangerous, but Morgan says Ava is more dangerous than he is. Ava brings up some past incidents and says Kiki has been hurt because of him and his love isn’t healthy for her. She hopes he does the right thing.

Brad and Lucas are planning their wedding. Lucas suggest they get married at the Nurses Ball. They need to budget and the food, flowers and venue is included for free. He says it will be coming full circle for them. Brad agrees.

Lucy wants a word with Nicholas. Curtis leaves, but not before Lucy tells him no carbs before his performance. She’s looking for a check from Nicholas, since he’s their most generous donor. He says he doesn’t have his checkbook. She suggests a wire transfer and gives him a guilt trip. He says he’ll get it to her asap. When she leaves, Hayden says he doesn’t have the money, does he?

Carly says she disagrees with what Michael is doing, but respects why he’s doing it. Sonny finagles a kiss good-by from a miffed Carly who calls him a shameless manipulator. He tells her not to worry. I’m sure that phrase is on constant rotation at their house. Outside, Sonny tells Michael he thinks he knows where Sabrrrina is.

Sabrrrina’s tante tells her that her son Marcos has guards all around. She was able to sneak the baby out, but Sabrrrina is a little bigger. Marcos comes in. He knows the baby is gone and wonders how he can get out of this. The police are questioning everyone about Sabrrrina’s whereabouts. Maybe I missed something, but why does this guy even care?

Kiki visits Morgan. They make small talk. She tells him she might be in the Nurses Ball show and asks if he’ll be out in time to see it. He’s hoping the doctors let him out soon. Kiki wonders why he seems withdrawn and asks if it’s the meds. He says no.

Ava goes to Sonny’s place and tells Carly she’s come to take Avery home. Carly protests, but Ava reminds her that she’s the custodial parent. Carly says Kristina took her to play group. Ava says she’ll wait. She tells Calry that after today, they won’t see Avery again, and goes up to pack Avery’s things. Carly calls Max and tells him to circumvent a delivery of baby furniture going to Ava’s penthouse.

Hayden asks Nicholas if money is tight and he tells her it’s none of her business. She says she was willing to walk away with the prenup money and they could have avoided this whole mess. She tells him none of the ELQ money was his to begin with and asks if this is why he smashed the antique teapot. He tells her again to mind he own business and leaves. Curtis brings Hayden a drink.

Lucas asks Lucy if they can add something to the show. She starts to freak, and he explains that they want to get married on stage with her officiating. Of course she says yes. Lucy gets super excited and Lucas tells her to keep things under wraps. I’m already wondering how Lucy will end up out of her wraps.

Sonny says his guys are doing them a favor, so Michael has to let him take the lead. He says he’s confident they can find Sabrrrina, but in the end, Michael might not get what he wants.

Marcos says that now he has nothing but problems. Sabrrrina says to let her leave and she’ll never tell anyone he was hiding her and the baby. Sabrrrina’s tante tells him he’s known her since she was a baby and knows he can trust her. He says he has to pave the way, she can’t just walk out. Sabrrrina thanks her tante, who says she’ll be reunited with her son soon. She leaves and Marcos locks the door. He has a gun.

Nicholas also dropped off an inventory of everything in the house. Curtis can’t believe it, but Hayden says they have meticulous records down to the butter knives. He asks what she wants to do now. She says she’d be gone if she still had the diamonds. Which, as they speak, Nicholas is trying to sell. The dealer says he’s required to report any stolen gems and Nicholas says he can do that, but he’d lose out on a fabulous diamond.

Kiki tells Morgan that they’ve been through a lot, but they’ve both changed. She wants to know if something happened between the phone call and her visit. He says part of being in there is dealing with the truth, even if it sucks. He says they’re not good for each other and he doesn’t think she should visit again. He says they want to help each other, but they can’t have a relationship built on chaos. She says she didn’t see that coming, but fine, she’s done with worrying about him.

Ava tells Carly that Avery is never setting foot in Sonny’s house again. Her phone rings. Ava says the delivery people had an accident and if she didn’t know any better, she’d think Carly and Sonny had something to do with it. She says she’ll be back with social services. She leaves and Carly says she’s just started.

Marcos tells Sabrrrina that he told his mother what she wanted to hear. He says the cops will pick her up immediately if she leaves. They’ll trace her movements and that will be bad for business. Is he in business with Sonny? Sabrrrina says his mother will know, and he says maybe, but she’ll never ask about it.

Hayden tells Curtis that Nicholas’s financial issues must be more serious than she thought. She might actually be poor.

The dealer tells Nicholas they can do business.

Sonny tells Michael that he doesn’t approve of a relationship with Sabrrrina after she ran off with Carrrlos. He does admire Michael’s compassion though.

On Monday, Nicholas tells Elizabeth to keep something to herself, Sabrrrina begs for her life, and Bobbie and Valerie pump Lucas for information.

The People’s Couch Quotes of the Week

The blonde one with the fake boobs. Joe when asked which Housewife is his favorite.

I just choked on that shade. Scott, referring to Bethenny’s take on Erika Jayne.

This is like tilapia to me. Princella, referring to the Potomac area of Maryland.

We know where Potomac is now. Shadesville. Scott after watching The Real Housewives of Potomac.

May 18, 2016 – GH, Big Apple Little Women & Wives

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

I had a late lunch with a friend and missed it. I tried watching it On Demand, but for some reason, the picture and sound kept breaking up. Thanks, Verizon! Finally, I caught it on Hulu, so here are the highlights I grasped while I was doing three other things.

Laura returns to the disco – she and Doc pretend like they’re going to buy it. As if the realtor would still have the disco ball hanging there. And the sparkly crepe paper, which hasn’t aged.

Tracy insists the baby is just some random child who was left there, but Michael asks her what would be the odds of anyone leaving a baby on their doorstep? He has a good point, and that baby looks very Spanish, which narrows the odds even more.

Felix wants Finn to participate in the Nurses Ball. I can’t say enough good things about Michael Easton in this role. He’s been far too serious for far too long on One Life to Live and then GH. He hasn’t had any fun since vamping it up in Port Charles.

Hayden tries to get Nicholas to help her take photos of the stuff she wants to sell online. She says New York is a community property state, so it’s their stuff. I like seeing these two back together again. They have a lot of chemistry, and Hayden brings out a side of Nicholas that Elizabeth certainly doesn’t.

Laura tells Doc about Luke raping her at the disco, and tries to justify it somewhat. Will we never get away from this? To his credit, Doc tells her not to blame herself. GH dug a hole for itself with this one years ago and they keep reopening it. Laura says she has no regrets and nothing Helena can do will change that. Doc says Helena is just playing mind games. Laura says Helena is probably looking up at her – hahahaha! – instead of looking down on her.

Jason visits Sonny and tells him he remembers everything now. We trip down Memory Lane. Jason apologizes for being a jerk, and Sonny says fuggedaboutit. Jason doesn’t exactly want to work for Sonny again, but tells him that he has Sonny’s back when it comes to Julian. Sonny says he’ll only ask if he has to and welcomes Jason home. Awww!

Finn gets into the drug cabinet via a clueless Felix, but we don’t see what, if anything, he takes. Tracy has him come to the Quartermaine mansion to check the baby and he suggests getting blood work done. Hayden pops in and asks for a job, since Nicholas shamed her into using her brain to make money. Tracy tells her to get lost. Tracy also has baby fever and names the baby Edward.

Diane brings the happy news to Nicholas that he owes back business taxes. I’m guessing he might not be responsible since he no longer owns the company, but I’m sure a lawsuit or prison is of concern if he doesn’t pony up. Nicholas acts like it’s a personal affront that Jason brought down on him. Diane suggests he sell some of his stuff on eBay if he can’t scratch up the cash.

The realtor says the disco is owned by Lloyd and Lucy Johnson, psudonyms of Luke and Laura at one time. Doc tells Laura that maybe they should be Lloyd and Lucy Johnson 2.0.

Michael takes the baby to the hospital when Tracy isn’t looking.

No preview.

The Real Housewives of NYC

I have the answer to Sonja’s question, if being Sonja is so wrong, why does it feel so right? Because you’re tipsy, girl. BA-DUM-CHH!

Sonja gets ready for The Countess’s arrival. She shows The Countess to the guest suite, which is pretty impressive. It’s a nice townhouse. The Countess says she thinks Sonja feels more stable with her around. She tells Sonja she wasn’t expecting the unveiling of the wine at Sonja’s birthday party. She asks if Sonja talked to Bethenny about the name of her product being thisclose to SkinnyGirl. Sonja claims that someone else came up with the name. Someone who must never have heard of Bethenny or the liquor line she manufactures.

Bethenny says she’s been dragged into the press with Sonja’s product. Ramona and Carole meet her for dinner. Apparently, Sonja has been saying Bethenny is her mentor and has set up a meeting with her. Bethenny says she saw the rip-off name on Page Six of the Post. She says her partners are seriously annoyed, especially after she brought Sonja into a business meeting to help her. They discuss Sonja’s narcissism, and Carole says this could cost Sonja a friendship.

Commercial break. I love The Real Housewives in Wonderland ads. I’m also wonder(land)ing what that’s about.

Ramona and Dorinda meet for breakfast. Ramona says she can’t quite accept John for Dorinda, but if she wants a relationship with Dorinda, she’s going to have to. Um…that’s right and wtf business is it of yours to accept anyone for anyone? Dorinda asks Ramona what she thinks about Tipsy Girl. Ramona says she’s disenchanted with her friendship with Sonja and doesn’t think tipsy anything is a good idea for her. Dorinda tries some cryptic talk about Ramona’s relationship with Sonja when she’s really talking about the both of them.

Somehow she changes the topic to her and John, and tells Ramona she has to respect that John is a part of her life. She doesn’t want to feel awkward any more. Ramona says she’s trying, but her mouth gets in the way. Dorinda tells her that if she can’t act like a normal adult, to pretend.

Bethenny was out until 4 am on her date. She says it’s someone she’s known for a while and it was a surprise to see potential. She’s at her office and Sonja comes by for the meeting. Sonja is thinking how wonderful it’s going to be to see each other. How can any human being possibly be this clueless?

Sonja tells Bethenny that her personal website has the same colors as Bethenny’s office. Funny you should say that. Bethenny brings up Tipsy Girl. She thinks Sonja’s partner, Peter, is shady. Sonja says he owns the rights to the name Tipsy Girl. Bethenny asks about Sonja’s distributors and Sonja can’t name one of them. This should come as a surprise to absolutely no one.

Sonja claims she was just testing out the product at her party. Bethenny says a similar brand name is called a cheater brand because it rides on the coattails of another brand. Bethenny says she’s personally hurt since she brought Sonja into her brand summit, and she wants nothing to do with her. She says Sonja never even contacted her until the Page Six article. She says that Sonja is a fraud who only talks a lot. Sonja yaps about her chapter 11 bankruptcy again and starts crying. She should cry. She says wah-wah-wah, she wasn’t going to do anything big, she just wanted something fun she could serve at her parties. Bethenny says she feels badly for her, but she’s tired of Sonja playing stupid and she can’t have it both ways. Sonja says she just wants to get back to where she was. Bethenny says she has compassion, but Sonja says she’s not feeling it. Bethenny says she has to get back to work, wishes her well, and says she’s not going to have any more conversation on the subject. Sonja acts innocent, but makes a snide remark in the elevator, and the interns roll their eyes.

Jules’s nanny has quit. She took her Christmas bonus and never came back, even though she’s been with them for two years. What are we missing? Jules is going to do some interviews. Jules go over responsibilities with the first one. Jules shows her around and asks her to pick out an outfit for one of the girls. It’s a thumbs up for the outfit, but a thumbs down on her Spanish skills, because they want the kids to be fluent. What I didn’t like about this process was that the first thing they did was have Michael check out her Spanish, which sounded pretty good to me, but she said she wasn’t fluent. If this was a make or break issue, why did Jules continue with the interview? Again, I feel like I missed something, but maybe these people just don’t communicate well.

Carole is fostering a kitten named Vinny. Adam is back and putting on his chef’s apron. She says when he was away she “cheated,” eating all kinds of junk food. Carole’s dog, Baby, really loves the kitten, but Carole is refusing to get attached.

She and Adam are working on a cookbook called The Reluctant Vegan – with her being reluctant and Adam being the vegan. This sounds like something I would enjoy. I’d like to be a vegan, but I’m reluctant to give up burgers and sushi. I think if Adam was cooking for me, I’d be a lot less reluctant. Carole says she’s been warned not to mix business with pleasure, but they’re doing it anyway.

The Countess meets Sonja and Ramona at Sushi Roxx. They talk about the Countess’s many dates. She claims to have gone through a dry spell and Ramona says she’d hate to see what a not-so-dry spell is like. Then comes the TMI and I go ♫ la-la-la! ♫

John and Dorinda are at an event to honor one of the designers John does business with. Jules and Michael are also attending.

The Countess asks what happened at Sonja’s meeting with Bethenny. Sonja tells her that she was surprised Bethenny was so critical. The Countess suggests Bethenny needs a boyfriend. The girls move on to John’s event. Dorinda didn’t give Ramona an invite and wonders why she’s there. The Countess sees a former flame who didn’t end well. The guy comes over and acts like a total asshat. The Countess freaks and decides to leave. The dude keeps talking to Sonja and Ramona, and he’ obviously three sheets to the wind. He has no concept of personal space either and John asks him to leave.

Ramona makes a stink and says everything is cool, so John says she can leave too. Asshat is catching and Ramona acts ridiculous. John actually keeps his cool pretty well, but then has enough and puts his hand in Ramona’s face. Ramona leaves with Mr. Personality.

Dorinda says Ramona isn’t even supposed to be there and wonders how she dare make a scene. She goes outside and tells Ramona she needs to respect her when she’s at John’s event. No surprise, Ramona acts like an idiot and Dorinda tells her to get lost. Ramona continues to act stupid and says she doesn’t know what happened and tries to blame John, who for once had very little to do with it. Ramona leaves and Dorinda hails a taxi. John tries to get her to stay. She says his actions are correct, but his reactions negate them, and he didn’t act like a gentleman.

Next time, Ramona’s idiocy makes the Post, another trip to the Bershires is planned, and Dorinda excludes Sonja.

Little Women: NYC

Oh no. I’m seeing the tale end of Briana and Matt: Part Two, and apparently they’re staying together. Good luck with that. For those who don’t know me, when I say that, the translation is, all the luck in the world isn’t going to help you.

Jazmin meets up with Jason at the park. They’re going on a walk so Jazmin can vent about Dawn. She says Dawn is making it impossible to have a relationship and wonders if it’s time to be done with her. Jason says there isn’t enough love behind Dawn’s tough love. He tells Jazmin that she’s not Dawn the second, she’s Jazmin the first. Jasmin says she’s damned if she does, and damned if she doesn’t; Dawn nags at her no matter what. Jason thinks there might be some resentment because Jazmin is married to Dawn’s only brother. He wants to invite Dawn to his family home for dinner, so she can see a different family dynamic.

Lila wants to play Switzerland and visits Dawn. Dawn thinks there’s too much pressure for her and Jazmin to be friends just because they’re outlaws inlaws. Since Dawn has the tact of a rock being thrown at someone’s head, she tells Lila how she couldn’t understand why Jazmin was upset when Dawn publicly criticized her lipstick color. Lila says she lacks charm and manners, and she should be nice for it’s own sake.

Dawn says that she and David were adopted. Their parents were little people and they had to fend for themselves often, so she thinks everyone should do the same.

Jason has Jazmin and Dawn over to his parents’ house for dinner. When Jazmin comes in, Dawn makes a face like she smelled something bad. She’s annoyed that Jason didn’t tell her that Jazmin was coming. Dawn talks blah-blah-blah about independence. Jason says it’s good to know friends are there if you need them, but Dawn says you don’t have to live with people to know that they’re there. She feels there’s a high expectation when it comes to family and talks more nonsense. Jazmin says family is family no matter what and Jason says relationships take work. Dawn says she feels like she’s being talked at. Since she’s constantly talking at people, it’s about time the tables turned. She can’t deal, so she leaves before dessert, claiming she has to work. Jason is concerned he made things worse.

Dawn keeps babbling how she and Jazmin don’t have to be best friends just because they’re related, but fails to understand that no one is asking them to. They would just like Dawn to act halfway friendly. She seems to have no concept that there’s a huge spectrum between strangers and BFFs.

Commercial break with important information. The UnReal season premiere is June 6.

Jason asks to stop by Dawn’s place. She says okay, but isn’t sure he has her best interest at heart. He asks why she left so abruptly and she makes up excuses. She says she felt ambushed and Jason says he doesn’t get it. She says she’s sick of everyone jumping into her and Jazmin’s relationship and asks why he didn’t tell her Jazmin was going to be there. He says because he knows Dawn and didn’t think she would come. Dawn says everyone should mind their own business.

Jason invites everyone to go camping. He seems to think a peaceful weekend outside of the city will refresh them. I’ve decided Dawn always looks like she smelled something bad.

Lila and Katie get together. Lila feels that Katie wasn’t given the warmest reception to the group, so she’s treating her to a pedicure. Tiny, cute toes! Katie asks if Lila remembers her from a convention years ago and that Lila wasn’t too nice. Lila tells her if it happens in the future, just let her know. Lila was probably drinking back then. She says they’re both going through stressful, emotional changes.

Lila talks about losing her dad and how he was her hero. Katie says she loved her dad too, and it’s hard knowing he won’t see his grandchild. Lila says she’s dreading the big life moments to come without her dad. I identify, since my father passed away shortly before I got married. Katie says she’s surprised by Lila’s support and understanding.

Katie is struggling to put together a crib. Jess comes in with a dog she adopted (GiGi), and Katie wonders if Jess is expecting her to take care of it when she isn’t there. Jess says funny you should say that, and tells her about the camping trip.

Let the camping commence! The gang loads up the car and Dawn pretends to be excited. She immediately tries to start an argument with Jazmin. Jason says it’s going to be a long trip. Jazmin says something has been weighing on her that involves Jess and she’s hoping to get a chance to discuss it with the others. Because God forbid she should actually discuss it with the person involved.

Dawn is a backseat driver, which is no surprise. Jason sees a possible bear food sacrifice in the future.

They get to a farmstead where they’ll be camping. It’s mega-cool and Jess says she can’t imagine anyone complaining about this place, even Dawn. They fight over who gets what bunk. It looks to me like whoever owns the farm built a bunkhouse to make some extra bucks. The owner explains they won’t be attacked by wild animals, which everyone seems concerned about. On a farm. Lookout for that chicken stampede!

Katie video chats with her baby daddy, PJ. She says she needs support and help, and that she loves him and wants them to be a family. PJ says it’s time for him to stop being a kid and understand that his own kid is coming. He says he’s here for her and the baby and is getting plane tickets immediately. Gee, that was easy.

Jess says that she knows Katie is going to be a great mom. She feels guilty for leaving Katie behind, but figures it will be crazy when the baby comes, so she’s getting in some relaxation. Jason has one last plan to make the bickering go away. He calls everyone outside. They’re going to light and release some lanterns and let go of the bad stuff and bring in the good times. Dawn asks if the lanterns are biodegradable.

Glad you asked, Dawn. Let me tell you about those lanterns. One of these landed in my backyard once. Still on fire. I can’t tell you how much I appreciated it. And how thankful I was that I happened to be there when it landed. So sorry to rain on Jason’s lantern parade, but I hate these things and think they’re a fire hazard. I’ll bet they’re bad for the dolphins too.

Lila wants to prank Jason, who is easily scared. She asks Jess to be her partner in crime. Lila dons a wolf mask; Jess is going to distract Jason. Lila sneaks up on his chair and he dumps hot tea on himself, but takes it like a champ. Everyone laughs except wet blanket Dawn. Lila says you can take the girl out of the city, but you can’t take the stick out of the girl’s ass. Ha-ha! She tells Dawn she has zero sense of humor which is probably true.

It’s time for s’mores and Debbie Downer Dawn says she can’t imagine putting a marshmallow on a stick and eating it. Jess makes fun of her and Dawn gets pissed at Lila for not defending her. She pulls Lila aside, which Jason says is never good, and proceeds to get totally out of control. Lila says she’s not always going to back Dawn, especially when she acts stupid. Whattsamatta, Dawn? Can’t be as independent as you would like your family members to be? I dub this poetic justice. Dawn says a friend to all is a friend to none (did she get that from Brownies or Blue’s Clues or something?). Then she adds that there’s no “i” in team, but there’s a “u” in see-you-next-Tuesday, which is what Lila is. Lila reacts mildly IMO, and says Dawn ostracizes herself all the time and calls her an a-hole. I’d say Lila showed some restraint there.

The next day, the Slip ‘N Slide is brought out. Everyone except Dawn plays around on it. Afterward, Jazmin thinks it might be a good time to talk to Dawn about their relationship, since Dawn is feeling alone. She apologizes for yelling at Dawn. She says that they don’t have to be best friends, but she’d like some support. Dawn says she loves Jazmin and David, and she doesn’t want to fight. They hug. In her interview, Jazmin says Dawn makes it hard to love her, but she’s family, and time will tell if she makes good on keeping the peace.

Jess goes to make a call and Jazmin wants to talk to everyone. She tells them she saw Jess and Katie smoking after belly dancing. She took a video and shows it to them. Oh. Horrors. Now, I’m not advocating smoking while pregnant, but it’s not like she was chain-smoking and taking a video? And then showing it to other people without even discussing it with her?? Really???

Next time, Lila plans and intervention, PJ comes to NYC, and Katie and Jess feel attacked.

May 17, 2016 — GH, Loving Wrong & Models on Deck

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

I came in late, but skimmed through the beginning online and am sincerely sorry I missed seeing Sonny bust up Julian’s place and tell Alexis their friendship is over.

Franco let Elizabeth know that Jake is with him, so at least he didn’t go over the edge again and kidnap Jake. I want Franco to stay somewhat sane to ensure his longevity on the show.

Laura thinks Heartbreak Hotel might be linked to the Campus Disco where she met Luke, although why this wasn’t the first thing that came to mind is beyond me. Laura wants to investigate, and Doc says he’ll go with her. I assume it’s no longer a disco.

And Tracy has found a baby on the Quartermaine doorstep.

Here’s where I came in.

Sam tells Michael they don’t have to miss the old Jason anymore.

Lucy overhears Doc and Laura discussing their plans and assumes they’re a couple. Doc steps away and she tells Laura that she gives her and Doc her blessing. She says she’s thrilled he’s moving on with someone so wonderful. Laura starts to tell her she has the wrong idea, when Doc joins them. Lucy babbles about how they should do a number at the Nurses Ball, gives them tickets, and leaves.

Monica asks if Tracy has called the authorites and says for all they know, the baby could have been kidnapped. She tells Tracy about Jason regaining his memory.

Franco tells Elizabeth she’s in over her head and should accept any and all help.

Julian tells Alexis they need to talk. He says he’d rather die than let Sonny harm her. He says Carrrlos is gone and the evidence has been destroyed, so they’re both covered and he’s going to protect her from Sonny. He says there’s no going back and they’re in this together. I’m sure she’s thrilled.

Carly is all excited about Jason regaining his memory. She calls Michael in. Jason tells him about a time when he was a baby, and says he’s a man now. Michael says Jason taught him how to be one.

Laura says she soesn’t want to draw Doc in any more with the Helena business, but he says he’s already drawn in.

Franco asks Elizabeth to let him look at Helena’s book with Jake. He says he knows the answer is in there. She tells Jake to come on and Jake asks when he’ll see Franco again. Franco says that’s up to his mother.

Alexis asks if Julian needs help, but he says he can deal with it. He has the shirt he was wearing in a plastic bag and she says she’ll burn it. Wait a second, why did he tell her the evidence was gone when he still had some? He tells her it’s gong to be okay, which obviously no one should believe.

Julian leaves and Alexis ponders the bag. Um…I wouldn’t throw plastic into the fireplace unless you want a real smelly mess. She takes the shirt out of the bag because she heard me.

Carly and Sam are all happy. Sam walks Michael out. Carly tells Jason that Sonny will be home soon if he wants to wait. She says they get to be friends forever now and she hugs him.

Alexis burns the shirt. Oh wait, she doesn’t. She puts it back in the bag and hides it. She looks all panicky.

Sonny comes home and asks what Jason is doing there.

Michael talks to Monica who says it’s a miracle. He sees Tracy with the baby and Monica says it’s their new house guest. Tracy says she couldn’t leave him on the doorstep. Michael asks if there was a note and Tracy says just a rattle, Michael says that’s Sabrrrina’s son.

Sonny says if it wasn’t for Jason, Dante would be dead. Jason says it the least he can do after all Sonny’s done for him.

Tomorrow, Felix needs to talk to Finn, Diane tells Nicholas he owes back taxes, and Jason has a request of Sonny.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Eddie brings some chick home. He wants her to lose the dress immediately and she’s like, you are moving way too fast. He asks her if she’s stupid and she said she was under the misguided impression that he liked her. He says he does and let’s get to it. The light bulb comes on and he suggests foreplay, which means giving him…never mind. While Eddie has his eyes closed, the girl opens the door to Julius and company.

Julius calls Eddie “copper,” a term which hasn’t been used since the 40s. Eddie tells him to go ahead and shoot, just don’t mess up his pretty face. I’m always torn between wanting Eddie gone and keeping him around for entertainment purposes.

Julius goofs around for a while, pretending he’s going to shoot Eddie and then the gun doesn’t go off. I laugh when Eddie asks if Julius wants to torture him and Julius says yes. He says that he actually wants a favor. He shows Eddie a picture of Claudia and says he wants her dead — no drive-bys or suicides, but an accident with witnesses. Eddie wants to know why, but Julius says no questions. Eddie says okay, but asks about Quan who is nowhere. Eddie asks that Quan be delivered to him as part of the deal. Julius says it’s like poker, he’ll see his Quan for Quan’s mother, Tilda. Julius says he’ll deliver both of them and Eddie has to take care of them. Eddie says done.

Eddie almost messes things up by asking Julius to “leave the whore.” The “whore” is Julius’s cousin. Eddie apologizes and suggests they stick to killing. These two were actually kind of funny together.They’re like cartoon characters.

Esperanza calls Claudia into the office. She asks if Claudia is sleeping with Lushion. She says she saw Claudia kissing him in the locker room. Claudia says that’s not what was happening and Esperanza suggests she put Claudia in for a transfer. Claudia says if she does, she’s going to complain that Esperanza is jealous about Eddie. Esperanza says Claudia is a liar, since she obviously hasn’t worked this job before. Claudia tells her to do what she wants, but says “be careful” in a weird tone of voice. I have no investment in Claudia, but I’m hoping she doesn’t get killed just because she’s one of the good guys.

Alex calls a lawyer, but she doesn’t have enough money for a retainer. There’s a knock at the door and she gets served. She calls Creepy Randal who calls her sweetheart. He tells her that the new subpoena is a lawsuit against Brad. She asks why he’s doing this, and Randal says Brad is with his wife. Alex counters with Randal having been with Brad’s wife. Randal says that wasn’t on purpose, but what Brad did was. Alex says they don’t have much money and asks him to stop. He says to come over and make love to him and he will. Gag. In lieu of that, he’ll take his son. Alex begs him to stop and he says he’ll see her in court.

Kelly paces while talking to herself. There’s a knock at the door. It’s the girl from Ramses’s apartment. She asks if Kelly has a “wine opener.” Kelly tells her to tell Ramses to go buy one his own damn self among a few other choice things.

Esperanza calls Kelly. Kelly tells her about the girl at Ramses’s house and how she came over to borrow a corkscrew. She kind of makes it up as she’s going along. She says she was stupid for liking him.

Esperanza tells Kelly about walking in on Lushion and Claudia. She says she’s positive she saw them kissing. Kelly says it was probably innocent, and Esperanza says what if the girl that Kelly saw was Ramses sister? Kelly blows this off and Esperanza says she doesn’t know if she should tell Natalie. This is an interesting scene, because they’re both making up scenarios and future scenarios that don’t exist, and it’s feeding on itself.

The captain calls Eddie and Steve into his office. He asks who was using his computer and Eddie confesses. Steve leaves and Eddie tells the captain he was running Claudia. He also tells him about the visit from Julius. The captain says when Eddie ran Claudia, all hell broke loose and now he’s getting calls from the Feds. He says something isn’t right about her.

Lushion comes to Ramses’s house and the girl introduces herself as Grace. She calls Ramses and he and Lushion discuss the house. Ramses says Grace is his cousin’s wife and helping him with the legal stuff, and that he can be out today. He’s going to stay in a hotel because he doesn’t want to be with the memories of his mother. Lushion asks if there’s anything else, and Ramses says Kelly. He says they’ve been flirting and now she’s cold. Lushion asks when it started and tells him to think back.

Ramses goes through the last time Kelly came by. He hits the nail on the head about her seeing Grace. Lushion asks if he told Kelly who Grace is, and Ramses says no, and even worse, he sent Grace over to borrow the corkscrew. Lushion says Ramses should know that Kelly was bothered. Ramses wants to go right over, but Lushion says give her an hour or two to cool off. He takes the paperwork for the house and leaves.

There’s a knock at Kelly’s door. It’s Alex. Alex asks her if she can watch the baby while she goes to an unscheduled doctor’s appointment. Kelly says sure. Kelly makes googly sounds at the baby. Alex leaves.

Esperanza goes to talk to Natalie because she can’t keep her big, fat nose out of things. She tells Natalie that she saw Claudia and Lushion “separating from something” in the locker room. Natalie says Lushion just asked her to marry him. Natalie says maybe she should have kept her mouth shut and I wholeheartedly agree. Of course Natalie immediately jumps to thinking the worst and says she’ll deal with it after work.

Ramses goes over to Kelly’s place. He has Grace with him and says Kelly owes her an apology. Kelly acts snotty and Ramses asks Grace to give them a few minutes. Grace tells him it’s not going to work for him and goes. Kelly says some woman is in his house who dresses like a whore, and he says he’s not like that and she’s here for business. He tells her not to insult him and gives her the documents that his cousin’s wife helped him with. He tells Kelly not to be so judgmental until she knows the whole story. He leaves and hopefully, she feels like an ass now.

Lushion asks the guy at the deli if there’s another copy of the tape. Deli guy says no, and asks if should he be worried since Lushion is the third cop who’s asked about it. Lushion shows him Eddie’s picture and he says that was one of them. Ben isn’t the other, so I’m guessing it might be Steve. Lushion asks to look at the tape from when the other cop came in.

The captain tells Eddie that they have an undercover in the precinct who’s investigating all the rookies who have died. The two morons conclude it must be Claudia and Eddie says he’s got it. The captain says be careful, since she could topple them all.

Lushion takes Andrew aside. He shows Andrew a picture of himself in the deli and asks what’s up and what’s on the tape. Andrew says he doesn’t know and Lushion asks why he was trying to get it. Andrew says they shouldn’t even be talking about this. Lushion says either tell him what he wants to know or he’s going to internal affairs. He tells Andrew he has no choice but to trust him.

Andrew tells Lushion about Ben’s drug problem and that Ben picks up drugs for Eddie. He says they tried to kill Pete. He says Pete would be dead if it hadn’t been for his girlfriend who put the camera in the room. He says the wall of rookie pictures is Eddie’s wall of fame. Lushion tells him to be careful. He says they’ll report to each other and no one else will know about their conversations.

Andrew says Pete has the tape because he’s the one in the hospital. Lushion says he’s working on something. Andrew says work fast or the three of them will be up on the wall next. Lushion leaves and calls Larry Lamont. He leaves a message saying he has two problems that need to be addressed right away.

Alex goes to visit Backwoods Rusty, aka her father. She tells him her neighbor won’t leave her alone.

Next time, Marcie visits Alex, Rusty goes after Randal, and Lushion meets with Claudia and Ramses.

Below Deck: Mediterranean

Bryan tells Hannah it’s not the time or place to be dressing down an employee, adding that she’s drunk. Hannah is offended and appalled by this, but she is drunk. As he said last episode, she doesn’t seem to get that he’s her boss.

Danny brings some girls back to the boat. This is a huge no-no, but all Hannah tells them is to stay out of the guest cabins. Danny breaks out some Patron. In the galley, Ben is cooking octopus. I stopped eating octopus after I saw one that was capable of using a camera.

Hannah tells Danny and group they have five minutes. Bobby is with them and says his career is important to him, so the girls have to leave. Bye, Felicias! Bryan hears them discussing the girls, and says he’s been put in an awkward position.

It’s 24-hours until charter and everyone is hung over. Jen isn’t sure if things are resolved with Hannah, but she doesn’t care. Bryan goes to the captain and asks to confirm the policy for guests on the boat. Captain Mark says the yacht is their work place, not their home, and it’s not cool unless he knows about it. Bryan tells him what happened. He wants to be transparent with the captain and doesn’t want to risk his own job to save the other guys’ asses. The captain says Bobby, who’s also a firefighter, wouldn’t bring girls back to the firehouse, which is a good analogy.

Hannah claims she’s not trying to be a bitch, just trying to do her job, and sometimes being a bitch is part of it. Tiffany is glad she doesn’t want to rehash the lecture at the bar.

The captain calls the guys to the wheelhouse. He says apparently his instruction on no partying on the boat didn’t sink in. Bryan says he’s partly responsible and the captain agrees. He’s not too happy to hear about Danny giving out the boat’s liquor either. He gives them extra work, and tells them it’s their first strike, and with three, they’re out. Captain Mark speaks to Bryan afterward and asks if he knew about the liquor. Bryan says no.

A sports-bar called The Tilted Kilt has chartered the yacht for a photo shoot. Captain Mark emphasizes no fraternization with the guests. The primary is Katie, who is kind of like their den-mother. Right away Hannah looks down her nose at the guests, and says they won’t be expecting as top-notch work. The deckhands are especially happy that they will have a boat full of models and Jen says they’re acting like they’ve never seen girls before. Bryan tells them do not cross the line, especially after what just happened.

Danny video chats with his mom. His father is an alcoholic and he had to be the family’s main support at a young age, which might explain his emotional immaturity.

Julia says they’re not lowering their standards, just simplifying. Bryan tells Jen she seems disconnected and she says she woke up late. Jen thinks Bryan overcompensates for his lack of abilities. It’s time to greet the guests, so the crew gets into their dress whites.

The girls board the boat and the guys get stupid. Hannah shows them around the yacht. Lots of squealing and giggling. The girls seem sweet, but Hannah makes a lot of snide comments in her interview segments.

Lunch is served and of course it’s phenomenal. Compliments to the chief, who says it’s a happy bunch. They drop anchor and the girls get into their bikinis and park on the sun deck. Danny is smiling so hard, my face hurts. The photographer arrives. The girls ask Hannah if they can have a special surprise cake for Katie’s birthday. Chef Ben says he’s not a pastry chef, but it will be good practice.

The photographer makes the girls giggle. They oil up and pose on the deck. Danny inserts himself into their conversations. One of the girls is really amazing with the hula hoop. Danny thinks so too, and Bryan gets pissed because he’s not where he’s supposed to be. He flirts with one of the models, which Bryan likes even less. The photographer leaves and is meeting them on shore the next day.

The table is set for dinner and it’s beautiful, with gold place settings. In stark contrast, the guest cabins look like suitcases exploded in them. Uh-oh, one of the girls asks another one about her and Danny while Hannah is serving. I’m pretty sure that’s not good. Danny is on late watch.

The girls want a late night snack and Ben gets up to deal with it. They’re seriously impressed, because they would have been fine with a Tupperware container full of leftovers, and he’s made them a mini feast.

One of the girls is hanging out on the couch and Danny is flirting. Bobby comes in and tells him they have to do yada, yada, yada, and Danny hugs the girl good-night. Bobby is like, this is so not cool after what just happened and the captain lecturing them.

Damn. Danny pops back in after he’s done with whatever, and chats up the girls. Hannah says the reason the girls are still up is because of him, and she wants to go to bed. Hannah takes him aside and asks him to knock it off.

The photographer is there bright and early. Danny is still sleeping, which is not going over well with Bryan. When he finally gets up, he makes a beeline for the girls who are getting ready for the shoot. He takes a selfie with one of them. Bryan tells him he doesn’t want to see his phone again and it’s not middle-school summer camp.

Small boats are taken to transport the models, crew and lunch to an island. The photos are taken and lunch is eaten. Tiffany is happy because she’s getting along better with Hannah. Bobby organizes a touch football game on the beach while Danny flirts with one of the girls. She wants to sneak off. He says he knows he shouldn’t, but he has butterflies. Oh please.

Next time, Julia finds the guys distracting, Bryan calls out Danny, and the captain lectures Danny. Week two of Danny.

May 16, 2016 — GH, Charms of the South & Wives of Dallas

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Julian wonders why Alexis keeps the dagger in the china cupboard to begin with, and she says isn’t he glad she did, since it was within reach. He swears he didn’t touch it.

Sonny tells Carly what happened. She asks if the police think he had anything to do with Carrrlos getting stabbed, but he says he doesn’t think so.

Finn orders several space heaters for Roxie. Monica says Danny would love to meet her and Finn says he’ll arrange a play date. They talk about bringing Roxie to the hospital for the kids. Finn asks how Tracy is. Monica says you’d never know anything had happeend, but there’s controversy about Mr. Ellis’s death

Elizabeth talks to Jake while nuAmy eavesdrops. She tells him he’s not going to be seeing Franco anymore. When he asks why, Franco hears him and tells him to ask his father.

Jason remembers everything now, so I guess we can put that storyline to rest…somewhat.

Commercial break. Does Flonase really need to tell me that 6 > 1?

Carly says she knows Sonny didn’t kill Carrrlos, but still wonders where he was. Sonny tells her about going to Crimson with Alexis and how Michael ended up pulling Carrrlos out of the water. She’s like, thanks for calling and letting me know.

Julian tells Alexis he was exactly where he said he was. Alexis questions Nina being in a bathrobe at a meeting, and he fills her in on the Franco/Nina situation.

Finn says Mr. Ellis’s death was unexpected and he was stable when Finn left him. He says that all the tests that had been run were negative. Monica concurs, since she double-checked everything. She tells him Obrecht asked the peer review group to open up a case.

Elizabeth tells Jake that sometimes adults have to make decisions that kids don’t understand. She says that Jason doesn’t think Franco is the best person to treat him. NuAmy says that his mother must have agreed, since she’s the one who canceled all of the appointments. I applaud her audacity.

Jason tells Sam about the accident. He says he was trying to figure how to get Dante out from under the van, when Robin spoke to him.

Monica says Obrecht feels Mr. Ellis’s death was preventable.

NuAmy fills another nuNurse in on last year’s Nurses Ball. Amy is giving her all the gossip and Monica interrupts. She suggests Amy get back to work, and if she hears more trash talk, Amy will be backstage at the Ball.

Monica tells Finn it wouldn’t be an issue if the family had ordered an autopsy.

Elizabeth tells Jake that they’re enrolling him in an art class, but he says he wants to work with Franco. She tells him he needs to get to his appointment and he shakes her off, saying he’ll walk over by himself. Franco asks if Elizabeth is a doormat or does she really think he’s a danger to her son?

Jason explains that seeing Robin was probably his way of fighting his conditioning. He says the memories were intact, he just couldn’t reach them. Sam says she doesn’t understand, and he says neither does he, and tries to come up with theories.

Carly says next time Sonny feels the need to step out in the middle of the night, to please tell her first. She was worried and concerned that the police were going to be looking for him. Sonny says Julian is the one who would gain the most from Carrrlos’s death.

Julian says Alexis had to know the witness was a set-up. She says she didn’t get a chance to question him and how convenient that he died from an overdose after years of being clean. She says the look on Julian’s face was sheer panic when she said Carrrlos was still alive. Julian still tries to pretend that Carrrlos was his friend and Alexis says Carrrlos was a man who was going to put Julian away for the rest of his life. Julian says she saw him at Crimson. Alexis says that was later and he asks why he would have done it himself. Wouldn’t he have one of his lackeys kill Carrrlos? Alexis starts weeping and says it’s unthinkable he would use the dagger that killed her mother. He says check it; it’s clean, and she says because he cleaned it.

Alexis starts going nuts, looking for any proof. Success! She finds the towel he used to clean the dagger with. It only took her about two seconds, so Julian didn’t hide that very well. I gotta say, I wonder too, why he would use the dagger, since it has a unique blade. A carving knife would have been less traceable. It seems like a really stupid move for a guy who’s a mob boss.

Finn says Obrecht resents him in general. Monica says she especially didn’t like how he put Dr. Mays in his place. He says she seems to be holding him personally responsible for her being let go. She says he saved Tracy’s life, and Tracy had a big say in it.

Elizabeth says Franco crossed the line and was acting like his old self. She thought he’d changed, but she was wrong. He says he just lashed out because of the Nina situation, but he’s working his way out of the hole he’s in. He says even Obrecht has pushed him away. He says Elizabeth is pretty much the closest thing he has to a friend.

Jason tells Sam that as soon as he got Dante free, the memories flooded in, from the color of Sonny’s old office drapes to their first kiss. He says he’d been trying to convince himself the memories didn’t matter, but he was wrong.

Sonny says after the accident, Carrrlos would have certainly taken the deal. Carly says Julian was at Crimson. Sonny says even if Alexis was telling the truth, Julian might have done the dirty deed and then jetted to Crimson. Carly asks what he’s planning.

Alexis says the stain on Julian’s shirt wasn’t wine, it was blood, and he killed Carrrlos to save himself. Julian says she needs to trust that he did everything because he loved her and so their life together wouldn’t end. She asks him who he is. He says he’s still her husband and she pushes him away. She starts to call the police and Julian takes the phone. He says she needs to ask herself who she is. She chose to stay with him even though she knew he ordered the hit on Duke and that makes her complicit.

Franco says he’s not a danger to Jake and Elizabeth needs to stand up to Jason. Amy comes over and says Jake didn’t show up for the appointment.

Sam tells Jason so much for getting to know each other again. He says they have been apart for two years, but he knows how they started now. He trips down Sam Memory Lane. She says he has his life back, and he says that depends on her.

Sonny says he has to figure out a way to use Carrrlos’s death against Julian. Carly says he should let the police handle it, but Sonny says Julian has Alexis in his corner, which Carly finds ironic considering Alexis’s high horse attitude.

Julian tells Alexis she made her choice to accept him. She says he swore he was out of the mob. He says he changed his life for her, but she should have known his past would come back to haunt him. He says when push came to shove, he did what he had to. He says she chose to defend Carrrlos and protect the both of them and blah-blah-blah about how they love each other. He says the important thing is that it’s over and they can live their life together with their kids and grandson. He says otherwise, two men died for nothing. And what is with Julian’s hair? I vote no.

Franco says no one saw Jake leave the hospital and security is out front. Elizabeth says how do they know someone didn’t take him? The police come and Amy points out Elizabeth, who tells them Jake was supposed to be going to his appointment.

Sam says the worst thing was trying to convince Jason he was a good guy. He says maybe not so much, and she says they’ve both made their share of mistakes, and now they have a chance to find their way back together again. She says she loves him.

Finn startles Carly, who is looking at some reports at a table in the MetroCourt. She tells him that his space heaters came in. She asks him to look at a printout regarding her daughter’s kidney. He says it’s against the rules and she says since when did he care about that? Finn says never.

Julian makes up some nonsense about how they’re the only two people who matter. Alexis says he’s a killer. He says he did what he could to weather the storm, but they can fix this. She starts laughing and says how? He says what’s done is done. Carrrlos can’t be brought back, but they can survive this together.

Julian takes the bloody towel to the fireplace. Alexis says she’s not letting him throw the evidence away. He says it has to be done and this is for them. It doesn’t get much more spineless than Alexis here.

Elizabeth says it’s all her fault and she should have walked Jake to the office. She wonders where Franco went and Amy says maybe he’s out searching. Yeah, searching his apartment where Jake is eating some sugary cereal.

Sam tells Jason he should be checked out by a doctor. She wants to know that he’s okay with no concussion or complications. He says he hates hospitals but he’ll go.

Finn looks over the reports. He makes noises and Carly asks if he found something. He says maybe. He points out an administrator’s number and that they did overtime that day. He says the employee hasn’t worked at GH since the transplant and they probably know something.

Julian tells Jellyfish Alexis that this is about damage control and throws the towel in the fire. There’s a knock at the door and Alexis says it’s Sonny. She answers. Yep, it’s Sonny and he asks if Julian told her who killed Carrrlos. He says by the look on her face, she knows.

Tomorrow, Franco tells Elizabeth he has Jake, Lucy is back for the Nurses Ball (yay!), and Julian threatens Sonny.

Southern Charm

Shep and Craig meet for lunch. Shep asks what happened after the bourbon tasting. Craig tells him about JD saying he’s not ready to head a division and Naomie getting sad about it. Geez, it wasn’t like he lost his job. Shep says Craig should work on taking the bar, but in the meantime wants him to come on the Appalachian trip.

Craig asks if he’s inviting Kathryn. Shep tells him that several others won’t come if he does. Craig wonders why Whitney is so against her, and says they should be inclusive, and that Kathryn would probably be more chill if she felt warm and fuzzy. He says she probably won’t come because of her pregnancy anyway. Shep relents and calls her, but she’s on modified bed-rest and doesn’t think it would be a good idea to travel. Shep thanks the cosmos.

Thomas (bleh) visits Kathryn’s new house. She asks if Thomas is going on the trip with Shep and company. She tells him that Shep called her, but she can’t go. Thomas says he doesn’t want to go if she’s not going, but Kathryn encourages him. In his interview, he says he doesn’t want to rock the boat. He might be T-Rav, but she’s T-Rex. He tells her maybe he’ll go and just stay one night.

Cameran visits a therapist. She’s struggling with the baby thing. Her husband is ready for one and she’s not. She wants to figure out if she’s just not maternal or her decision is rooted in anxiety. She says her own mom is her role model and she can’t say enough good things about her, but she wasn’t the cookie-baking typical Southern woman type. The therapist asks if when she thinks of having a child, does she think of getting something or giving up something? Good question! Cameran says everyone tells her that her life will change and she doesn’t even like being a passenger in a car. The therapist seems to think that her parents’ divorce is a factor. Even though Cameran thinks she’s too old to be affected by it, the therapist says childhood events drive our lives. This woman seems to actually know what she’s talking about, unlike some therapists I’ve seen on the reality shows.

Craig talks to his mom about the house in the mountains and whatever is needed for the trip. He thinks the house is even going to impress Whitney.

Landon (ugh!) gets together with her sister, Bam, about whose name I could make a million jokes. She tells Bam about her online magazine idea. Landon is the oldest of three girls and says she’s trailing behind both of them. No big shock. We flash back to her visit with the NYC mogul and how it kind of bombed. Landon says how much she likes Craig’s girlfriend, Naomie, but I think it’s just so she can talk smack about Kathryn.

Craig comes by Kathryn’s place. He says for once in her life, she’s not the one causing the drama. They talk houses. Craig wonders about Whitney. He asks Kathryn if they used to be friends, and she says they were more than friends. She says it was more than just a physical thing and she spent a lot of time with him and his mother. We see a clip where she was keeping a lot of stuff at his house. Wow. Here’s to a secret very well kept.

We see a few more flashbacks where Whitney was very complimentary to Kathryn. Craig says Whitney makes it out to be like a one-night stand, when a one-night stand doesn’t keep clothes at your house. Kathryn tells him that she’d hooked up with Thomas prior to Whitney, but it went nowhere. Then she and Thomas met at a party and she left with him because she had liked him better. She says Whitney put her stuff on the curb after that. She says he’s one of those people you think has no feelings for anyone else, and Craig says this explains why they’re still dealing with this three years later. They show another scene that didn’t make sense in the first season, but does when it’s put together with what she’s saying now.

Shep has organized a party bus and Cameran is hoping it doesn’t have a stripper pole. Everyone meets at the bus and they head for Asheville (NC). Thomas and JD will be joining them separately. Thomas gets to the hotel first. Craig thinks they’re in Nashville, which Shep tells us is another four hours west.

The hotel is cute. The group checks in and meets in the lobby. Hanger-on Dani is there too. I’m not sure why, but she rubs me the wrong way. Thomas is glad for a night out where he can be himself. An immature a-hole? He tries to chat up some teenagers on the street and I get embarrassed even though I’m just watching it on TV.

They go to a beer garden where Whitney and Thomas make fun of the bluegrass music. There’s a large size Jenga game on the outside tables that they periodically play. Moving on. To the next bar, owned by a college buddy of Shep’s who gave him his first fake ID. Moving on again, but just next door. They have dinner and Shep makes a toast. Someone says things are going swimmingly, and Shep says that’s probably what they said before the Titanic went down.

Cameran thinks that Landon hearts Shep. Me too. Thomas says he’s just staying one night and acts like it’s because of Kathryn. Ha! He’s just getting old. I still don’t get why he has no friends in his own age group. Whitney says Kathryn is the curse of Moncks Corner he can’t escape. Craig thinks Whitney is irrational when it comes to Kathryn and that Thomas is actually being responsible. Moving on. Next bar.

This one is more a dance club. Thomas immediately starts chatting up a girl with tatts and piercings, saying, it’s awesome, man, or something like that. Bleh. Thomas. He acts stupid and puts the moves on girls who don’t want them. One dances away with Shep.

Thomas goes to Shep’s room in the morning. He says that he thought Kathryn was being irrational about Landon, but now he realizes Kathryn is right. Landon confessed that she didn’t really invite Kathryn to Shep’s birthday. Shep is a little miffed too. He says Landon has a catty side where she takes things too far.

Cameran and Whitney decide to rent a car. Shep wonders if he should be offended. Thomas leaves and it’s back to the bus with the others.

They go through where Shep grew up and he points out his grandparents’ house. They get to their destination and the house is amazing. It has a phenomenal view and Shep says it’s the happiest place of all. I can see why. JD and Elizabeth join them. Cameran says Shep never even mentioned this house, but he isn’t the type to brag about what his family has. Even though I wouldn’t want to date him, I like Shep.

JD wants to talk to Craig who does not want to talk about work. Craig says Naomie was sad about the bourbon thing, but JD says just because something doesn’t work out immediately doesn’t mean it won’t in the future and that he wants Craig to succeed. He also wants Craig to make Dani feel comfortable about taking the position Craig wanted.

Jennifer visits Kathryn, who is bored out of her mind. She can move around, but not leave the house. Kathryn tells Jennifer about the trip and that Thomas called, telling her how Landon admitted not inviting her to Shep’s birthday. She says Thomas has been surprisingly helpful with the move. She says their past is tumultuous and crazy, but he’s making an effort.

I cry because I will never, ever have a kitchen like the one in Shep’s mountain house. Shep confronts Landon about not inviting Kathryn to his party. He says in the future, tell him the truth. I’m not surprised someone has to tell her something this simple, but then I remember she can barely form a sentence.

Whitney argues with Craig over grilling the steak. The food looks incredible, steaks, corn on the cob and grilled vegetables. The topic of Kathryn comes up. Whitney says she’s a lying psychopath, and Craig says he’s just mad because she slept with his best friend after staying with him.

Next time, Whitney calls Kathryn a liar, poor Whitney is upset, Kathryn’s inducement date gets moved up, and Kathryn disappears. Lots of Kathryn.

The Real Housewives of Dallas

Stephanie has a decorator coming in for son Chance’s room. She says that Travis’s mother is a decorator and he thinks that the apple didn’t fall far from the tree, but that’s not the case. Travis wants to be all involved, which annoys Stephanie. She says once a plan is in place, Travis always wants to change it. She says the one gift she wishes he’d give her is to trust her judgment.

Brandi is still ticked off about how Bryan acted at the barbecue for her father, late and drunk. She says he’s not giving her or the family the attention they deserve and she doesn’t know how to deal with it. She tries calling him and gets voicemail.

Marie is apparently inching her way into Wives status. Brandi goes to Marie’s house. She’s been working with Marie’s daughter, Sofia, on cheerleading. She says it’s a real favor, since she taught cheerleading and dance to high schoolers and it wasn’t fun. Marie is also close to Leeanne, so Brandi is hoping to get some insight. Brandi says the lessons make her miss being a Cowboys cheerleader.

Rich asks Leeanne what’s bothering her about Marie. She says she wants to trust Marie, but Tiffany has told her that Marie has been texting her smack talk about Leeanne.

Brandi tells Marie that despite Leeanne being batsh*t crazy, she had fun at Marie’s party. Marie says Leeanne could benefit from therapy. She says Leeanne is going to have to apologize for her nutty behavior.

Cary and Mark go shopping. They’re updating their website photos and looking for new outfits. Cary says the website needs to draw in the upscale clients they want, so the pictures need a refresh. Mark gets excited over a few of the dresses and picks out some things for her.

Brandi goes to Stephanie’s house. Stephanie is putting everything back into her son’s newly decorated Cowboys-themed room. Brandi tells us the nasty habits her husband has, as though we need to like him any less. She says it’s funny how you don’t notice a lot of things during the honeymoon phase. They talk about the barbecue and Brandi says how hurt she was about Travis acting stupid. Stephanie thinks Brandi should talk to him and reconnect with a date night. Brandi says Bryan isn’t good with confrontation, so she’s afraid to deal.

Tiffany visits Leeanne. They’re going to Marie’s house “to seek answers.” As a true Housewife should, Tiffany has printed out the texts. Leeanne wants to know why the texts happened and if her reputation is in jeopardy. I dunno. Maybe Marie is ticked off about Leeanne’s idiotic behavior at her party.

Leeanne and Tiffany say a prayer before going into Marie’s. Marie asks how they’ve been since the party and Leeanne says it was a bad scene, daddio. (Okay, I added the daddio.) Tiffany says she doesn’t like engaging in the kind of texts Marie has been sending. She pulls the texts out, handing them to Leeanne, and Marie looks like a deer in headlights. Marie says she would never talk behind Leeanne’s back. Leeanne says if Marie has something to say about her, she hold say it to her face. Marie says she was seriously concerned about Marie’s welfare. Leeanne drags Brandi into it, saying the issue is between them. Marie says Leeanne made it everybody’s issue. Leeanne says she walked out of the party because she was going to get violent. Leeanne gets loud and says stupid stuff. Once again, in her interview, Leeanne says she doesn’t do hurt. Seriously, get therapy and stop acting out when you have the feels. You’re too old for this. She tells Marie she’s been putting negative bugs in Tiffany’s ear and asks what she’s told Brandi. Marie says they never discuss Leeanne, but we flash to Brandi saying Leeanne is nuts. The girls say blah-blah-blah about being open. Leeanne says Marie might have originated from a good place, but she’s forgotten what loyalty is. She’s glad Tiffany held her hand through this.

Cary and Mark are using friend Carrie’s apartment for the photo shoot. Carrie gives direction with Mark working the camera. They take a lot of great pictures with and without great clothes.

Brandi talks about how hard it is, raising the girls basically with no Bryan and no other help. She says when Bryan is gone, one of the girls (Brooklyn) is especially bratty. Brandi does the throwing the spaghetti on the wall thing to see if it’s done. I do that too, but not near an electrical outlet. She calls Bryan, who is about to board a flight, and suggests a date night next time he’s home.

Gayle and Oprah are the names Stephanie gave the oversize warrior garden statues that Travis won’t let her get rid of. Brandi has brought outfits for them. This reminds me of a guy not far from me who has a manatee statue next to his mailbox that he dresses up seasonally.

Mark and Cary look at the pictures. Cary is very critical of herself, but Mark says she’s perfect. She wants them photoshopped, but he’s not on board with that. I’m not sure what she has to be concerned about. They get all mushy. I like these two. They seem like the only normal ones.

Stephanie loves her son’s new room, but is nervous at the unvailing, since it’s not what Travis wanted. Chance is really too young to be impressed by something like this. Travis says they did a great job and compliments Stephanie.

Brandi and Bryan are getting ready for date night. He’s exhausted from traveling, but she feels they need to get in some time together. They leave the kids with a sitter and go out to eat. They order martinis. Bryan looks tired. Brandi thinks he’s checked out as far as feelings go. They toast to a good summer.

Brandi says she’d like more time with him, but expects him to be a mind reader about it. It’s painful watching her try to get her thoughts out, with him looking like he’s not even there. She says with all his traveling, sometimes she feels like she doesn’t get the attention she needs from him. He’s like, seriously?

Bryan feels like she gets all the attention. She says she wants them to have more family activities with the girls. Again, she’s not expressing herself well. She says she feels unloved and unappreciated. She asks if she did something wrong and he says yes. She asks what. Bryan doesn’t answer and she says she doesn’t understand him. He just sits there like a cold lump and she starts to tear up, saying somehow it’s always her fault. He says he didn’t see that one coming What? He says he’s had enough and leaves her sitting there.

Next time, a charity event at the House of Blues, gossip about Cary, and Brandi’s brother attempts suicide.

May 15, 2016 — Storybrooke Finale, Dead in Mexico, Shahs Plan & Dany Rises

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

Once Upon A Time

Snow tells Regina that she doesn’t need to go through this alone. Zelena says she’s not going to, and Zelena can empathize, having been through it. David tells Zelena how sorry he is about Hades.

Violet approaches Henry. She says she’s sorry about Robin and that she was afraid she was never going to see Henry again. He says him too.

Emma tells Hook maybe he should wait outside when she goes to the diner, since Regina might be bitter over Robin’s death.

Gold tells Belle in the Box that her father was uncooperative about waking her and he’ll have to find another way. He says he needs power and messes with the Olympian crystal.

Emma sees Regina. The diner rocks (and by that I mean like there’s an earthquake, not that it’s a cool place to be) and Hook runs in asking if everyone is okay. Everybody is surprised to see him, since they didn’t think he could get back from the Underworld. Regina says only one person is powerful enough to rock the diner like that — Gold.

Regina says he’s done a tethering spell. Gold is trying to harness all the magic in Storybrooke. They surmise it’s to wake Belle. Emma says maybe Regina should sit this one out and Regina is annoyed that Emma thinks she’ll go all evil queen. Regina says fine, she’ll deal with things herself. She disappears, poof! in a cloud of purple smoke.

Henry tells Violet about Gold and how magic screws everything up. He says he used to think there was light and dark, but now he believes it’s all one. Violet says her mother died from magic. Henry asks her to come on a quest with him and she says yes. He calls it Operation Mix-Tape and says there’s one more thing they need, the pen. He writes that the crystal appeared in his hand. He tells Violet all the magic is tethered there and they’re going to destroy it.

The group is looking for Gold, and Regina is looking for Henry. Gold shows up and says Henry has the crystal and Henry has outsmarted all of them. Regina asks what happens if Henry succeeds in destroying magic, and Gold tells her that Storybrooke was created with magic, so what does she think? He disappears, poof! in cloud of grey smoke.

Emma follows Regina to look for Henry. All of the other characters in Storybrooke approach Snow with their worries. Zelena creates a doorway for them to go back from whence they came. Emma says they have to find Henry before Gold does.

Meanwhile, Violet and Henry are in New York City. Everyone goes through the door except our heros. Zelena is about to close it and something prevents her, something that looks like it’s trying to get in. Suddenly, the gang is transported to…somewhere. Zelena says they’re not in Storybrooke anymore.

In Boston, Regina and Emma get in a Volkswagen Beetle. Regina pricks Emma’s finger and the blood leaves a trail on their map, showing them where Henry is. Gold drives through the Queens-Midtown Tunnel into NYC. Violet tells Henry the city is overwhelming and he says he thought the same thing about Camelot at first. They discuss Gold and Henry tells her that his father had also been looking for a way to destroy magic and kept a journal in his apartment. He tells her she’s the only one he’s told about it.

In the beautiful forest that the Storybrooke-ites have landed in, they come across an estate. They ask a gardener where they are. The gardener says if he helps them, he’ll be punished. When David asks by who, a sorcerer pops out and says by him, and blows them all back with purple lightening bolts.

The gang wakes up in a dungeon. Although, geez, it looks like they could squeeze between the bars. A warden comes in and asks why they’re on his property. Snow says they just want to leave. The warden asks what the Dark One wants and grabs Hook by the throat. Snow says Gold is their enemy too, and explains what Gold is looking for. The warden doesn’t believe them.

Emma and Regina go to the apartment. Emma can tell that Henry and Violet have been there. Regina finds one of Robin’s books and gets all sentimental. There’s a letter from Robin to her inside. He says how proud he is of her and that no matter what separates them, he knows she’ll always do the right thing. Emma tells Regina sorry about before. Regina says she’s right, the evil queen is always trying to get out. Emma says she understands having fought the darkness, but Regina says while Emma was just at the precipice, she was consumed.

Regina says her first instinct is to rip Hook’s throat out because Robin didn’t survive, but she knows it’s wrong, so she keeps it in check. She says good always leads to loss for her, but she has to keep doing it. She talks about the horrible things she did when Snow was little. She says being a hero doesn’t matter because there’s no redemption for her. She has the curse of knowing good and evil and has to fight with it every day. Emma says she believes in Regina, and Regina says that’s because Emma is good. She says her fate is to be trapped.

Emma sees on the computer that Henry and Violet are at the midtown library. Gold waits outside the door of the apartment.

A librarian takes Henry and Violet to the rare reading room. His father was looking for something there, but never found it. Violet is skeptical that they can. A slew of Henry’s Once Upon A Time books are there, each containing different stories.

Back at the dungeon, the gardener, Albert, comes in. He says he wants to help them. He can’t let them out, but he might be able to get the magic they need. He asks to come with them when they leave. He says he’s a prisoner and wants to get away from the warden as much as they do. Zelena needs her wand fixed and Albert says he can take the pieces and put it back together in the lab. David is unsure about trusting him, but they have no other choice.

Henry thinks they came there for nothing. Violet says he’ll figure it out. She sees a chalice in a glass case and says Henry’s father never figured things out because he never visited Camelot, where the Holy Grail is the source of all magic. Henry busts the chalice out and it twirls a book around. Henry starts to leave. Gold stops him, but Henry says he’s not getting the crystal without a fight. Gold says too bad Henry is going to lose and puts both Henry and Violet to sleep, taking the crystal.

Albert goes to the laboratory. He puts the wand into a machine that looks like a Mousetrap game. He’s able to fix it, but the sorcerer comes in. Albert claims the warden wanted him to fix it, but the sorcerer says they’ll talk to the warden then. There’s a struggle and Albert turns into Mr. Hyde, who is also the warden, and starts talking about his other personality in the third person. He says Storybrooke could be the answer to what they’re looking for, and they’ve been stuck where they are for too long. He says the doctor isn’t the only one who will be going to Storybrooke; they all will.

Emma finds Henry and Violet, and the color turns to sepia tones. Henry tells Regina that magic has taken everything away from them. Every time it seems like they’ll be happy, magic wrecks things. He doesn’t want magic to take away Regina or Emma. He tells them he couldn’t find any answers. They agree they have to find Gold and they do the map/blood thing again. It doesn’t work though, because the magic is all in the crystal.

Hyde is twirling the wand around. He says he’s taking something that will give them the power they need. Gold talks to Belle in the Box in the hotel room. The room starts to shake and when Gold grabs the crystal, Belle in the Box disappears and reappears in Hyde’s hands. He says if the Dark One wants to see his wife again, he’ll have to do what Hyde says.

Albert, who is also Dr. Jekyll, wakes up in a straitjacket. There’s a note from Hyde saying he almost got free. Albert says that Hyde isn’t as smart as he thinks. He goes to the dungeon, says the warden has the wand, and unlocks the door, letting the Storybrooke gang out.

They go to what looks like a Moroccan flea market. Albert says it’s called the Land of Untold Stories.

Back in NYC, Violet tells Henry she hopes he has a good plan since they have no magic. They see lightening bolts hitting the top of a building. A room service waiter comes toward the hotel room. Gold answers the door and invites him in. There’s a pentagram and candles on the table. Gold doesn’t care about the food, only the sterling silver charger. Gold gives the waiter a hundred dollar bill and says things might get messy. The waiter leaves and Gold puts a “do not disturb” sign on the door.

Regina feels the vibes from the hotel. She says she might not have magic, but she still has a fist and Gold still has a nose. Ha-ha! She knocks on the door and tells Gold they need to talk alone. She says Emma doesn’t know she’s there. She says she knows he hasn’t been able to wake Belle in the Box yet and needs help from his best student. She says she’s ready to let the evil queen back out and makes up some story. She says he needs the evil queen and she doesn’t want to lose Zelena. He says maybe they can help one another.

Albert brings everybody to his apartment. He picks up some serum that separates the good and evil from someone. He’s going to use it on Hyde. The sorcerer comes in. Albert tells everyone to run as he turns into Hyde.

While Regina and Gold toast, Emma slips in. Gold tells Regina about how Belle in the Box was taken. Emma gets the crystal, but it disappears, poof! in a cloud of magenta smoke. Gold knew all along. He says Regina is who she’ll always be, guilt-ridden and weak. He takes something of Zelena’s from Regina that he needs for his spell, and plans on getting rid of Emma and Regina, since he doesn’t need them anymore.

Henry stops everything and works some magic on the pentagram table. Purple clouds happen outside the building and it seems like something has been sucked out of the room. Henry says he’s destroyed magic.

Hyde tells the sorcerer to go into the other room and injects himself. He separates into two people. Hyde tells the doctor it’s nice to finally meet him. He says the irony of being separate is that it’s going to destroy him. He tries to strangle the doctor and Hook comes to the rescue. David says the doctor risked everything to save them, so it was the least they could do.

Gold tells Henry he stopped him from rescuing Belle in the Box and everyone in the other realm with them. Henry says he did what he had to and it’s on Gold. Regina wonders what happened to Storybrooke, and Gold says it will be fine, he was just made that up to motivate her. He says they’ll have to work together to find who has magic.

Emma finds Henry in Bryant Park. Henry says before they knew magic existed, they were happy. Emma says it was just them then. Henry says because of what he did, they might not see their family again. Emma says Regina and Gold are working on it now.

Gold tells Regina he’s always failed to separate the parts of himself because he likes the darkness. Regina says she doesn’t, but Gold tells her she’s kidding herself an the more she keeps it inside, the more she’ll suffer.

They go to an herbal shop. Gold introduces the shopkeeper as “The Dragon.” The Dragon says he’s not in the business of helping hearts with such darkness as Rumpelstiltskin’s, but he will help Regina. He says it’s imperative she win for all of them.

The Dragon does a thing with a lotus blossom and they’re able to see Snow and the others in the parallel world. Regina says they’re in trouble. The Dragon says opening a portal is beyond his power. He says just because Henry thinks he destroyed magic, doesn’t mean there isn’t any; it’s everywhere. Emma says they have to believe and Gold says just saying it doesn’t make it so.

Henry is going to throw a coin in the fountain. He asks if Emma remembers the last time they were there and he made a wish. A few days later, the wish came true. He throws the coin in, saying he wishes his family was reunited. Each of them tosses in a coin and wishes. The crystal starts to pulse with light. Gold tosses in his coin, but Henry says they need more.

In the Untold Stories World, the Storybrooke gang meets face to face with Hyde.

Henry makes a speech about magic being real, standing on the pedestal of one of the lions on the library steps. He gathers a small crowd and asks everyone to make a wish and help them return magic to the world. Everyone starts throwing coins in the fountain. (Hmm…this might be a good way to make some extra cash.) The crystal gets stronger and Henry says, told ya so.

Coins start dropping in on Snow and the others. Snow tells David they’re not pennies, they’re wishes. All of a sudden, they’re in the fountain and immediately get arrested. Just kidding about the arrest part. Everyone applauds. Henry says they think it was an act and none of it is real. Emma says it doesn’t matter. For a moment, he did the impossible and made everyone believe.

Hyde is going crazy, smashing things. Gold appears. Hyde says now that he’s finally here, if Gold wants to see his wife and child again, he’ll do as Hyde says. Gold strangles him without touching him and Hyde says he can help him wake Belle in the Box. Gold lets go and Hyde says he’s learned a lot being the warden. He thinks it’s time they talk about a deal.

David says they can’t find Gold. Zelena says Regina wanted to be alone, but won’t say why. Snow finds Regina on the rooftop and brings her hot chocolate and spikes it from a flask. Regina says if she wants to keep the evil queen at bay she has to open herself to a lifetime of suffering. She says she wished the evil queen away at the fountain. Regina says the karma will always be there and it’s just another useless wish. Snow says maybe not.

Snow and Emma bring the syringe with Albert’s serum up to the roof. There’s enough for one more injection. Regina asks to be alone, but they won’t leave. Regina says the evil queen didn’t like Snow on a good day, so be careful. Snow injects Regina who goes through some changes, eventually splitting in two.

Regina faces herself. The evil queen tries to throw a lightening bolt at Regina, but Emma chains her. Emma tells Regina to destroy the evil queen and the queen laughs, saying Regina doesn’t have what it takes. She says Regina needs her. Regina says no she doesn’t and rips out the queen’s black heart. She says sorry and crushes it to dust. The queen disappears and only the chains are left.

Violet says she has to go. She tells Henry that her father is really from Connecticut and just ended up in Camelot. He said he’s glad she was born there though, since being a Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s court was no great shakes. She kisses Henry good-by.

Everyone else joins them. David says he’ll show Albert around. Emma tells Hook that she loves him and they kiss.

Henry tells Regina she destroyed the evil queen and asks how she feels. She says free. They take the crystal ad Regina works some mojo over it. It disappears. Uh-oh. Hyde appears and is like, thanks, trapped in a town without magic would be a bummer. He says he provided Gold with some information in exchange for Storybrooke. And he’s brought some friends.

He says he’s been looking for a place where all the lost and forgotten stories can play out. Regina says the story ends with him losing. He says darkness isn’t as easy to snuff out as she believes.

In Chinatown, The Dragon hears a bell. A trail of smoke comes into his establishment. It’s the evil queen. She says he was right about one thing, there was a battle raging inside Regina and she might have won the battle, but the war has just begun. She takes his heart and says the queen is back.

I’m guessing that next season, the Storybrooke characters will get involved with different stories from the books Henry found. Kind of like Sliders.

Fear the Walking Dead

In a chapel, some choirboys sing. The padre takes the podium. He talks about their faith being tested. He says that the evil that has befallen them wants them to turn away from God and to not to give into it. He says they’ll defeat it. They take communion.

Everyone goes out and gets guns. Thomas comes up and tells the padre they’ll be dead by the time they get to the gate. The people of the congregation start bleeding from their eyes. The padre says this was her, the one Thomas is trying to protect.

On the boat. Chris tells Travis he didn’t do anything wrong. Travis says they’re saying the guy Chris shot wasn’t sick and Madison is worried about him. Even if he wasn’t sick, Reed was a menace.

In the wheelhouse, Victor says they’ll be in Baha soon. Victor sees a boat coming toward them. Luis says the guy driving is Miguel, but he doesn’t know the other one. Madison has everyone hide. Daniel translates the conversation they can overhear. A negotiation is being made and Luis makes a payment. The guy wants to make sure there are no infected on board. There’s an argument and gunshots.

It gets quiet, and the group goes back up. Luis is dead, but Victor is fine. Daniel tells the others to stay and Daniel makes sure the people involved are dead. Luis is still alive and Ofelia wants to help him. Luis gives her a coin and says to give it to his mother. Daniel takes the coin from her. He says it’s nothing, even though he obviously knows what it is, and tosses it overboard.

The group goes to shore. The place is littered with piles of bodies. Victor calls Thomas’s name and runs into the chapel, looking for him. A bunch of zombies attack and the group fights them off. Lots of eye stabbing. Daniel has to stab an altar boy and can’t do it. Ofelia runs interference. A zombie grabs Madison and Chris freezes. Or maybe not. Is he pissed because she thought Reed might not have been sick? Alicia dispatches the zombie.

They take a truck to the gated estate. There are workers tilling the soil and such. Victor leads the way to the main house. Thomas’s mother, Celia, meets them. She asks about Luis and Victor says something about the military and she says he’ll find his way back. I don’t know if Victor is talking in code or giving her a story. A lady takes their weapons.

Thomas isn’t well. He tells Victor better late than never. Victor sees a wound on his arm and tells Thomas he’s sorry. Thomas says it’s okay, he waited for him. Victor says if he’d been there, he could have done something, but Thomas says maybe not. He helps Thomas up and they hug. He helps Thomas to his bed.

Alicia watches an old movie. Chris comes in and asks if she’s mad at him. She says she saw what he did. She says he was watching when the zombie was going to kill Madison and he did nothing. He says he froze and she can’t tell anyone something like that. She says what if she does. He says he doesn’t want to hurt anyone.

Nick comes to the kitchen. It’s not dinnertime yet, but Celia says she’ll give him some pizolli if he doesn’t tell the others. He says that Luis was asking for her and he wanted her to know. She says he has a “heavy smile,” and asks him why. He says he’s sick of all the killing. She says they’re just visitors and the dead have always walked among them, but now they can see it. Madison comes in and tells Nick the shower is ready.

Celia says Nick is special. Madison tells her that Nick is fragile and impressionable. Everyone is just being weird. Or weirder than usual.

Madison brings a tray in to Thomas and Victor. Thomas says he’s usually a better host. Thomas makes Madison promise to look after Victor when he’s gone. She says he won’t make it easy and Thomas says that’s why he’s asking her.

Ofelia tells Daniel it’s dinnertime and he says he’s not hungry. She asks if everything is okay and he says yes. He says to tell everyone that he’s tired. Alicia is falling asleep watching TV, which I imagine must seem like quite a novelty right now. Madison says that’s how they used to find her when they’d come home and she was with a babysitter. Alicia says she was afraid they wouldn’t come home.

Madison asks Travis what he talked about with Chris. She tells him about Chris threatening Alicia and what Alicia thinks she saw. Madison thinks that he’s sick. Travis says what if she’s right and she needs to help him help Chris. He adds that he’s noticed she leaves him out of the picture when talking about their kids. She says Alicia needs her tonight and Travis says he’ll stay with Chris. Maybe this whole thing is just getting to everybody.

Victor tends to Thomas. He tells Thomas to go to sleep, but Thomas says he can’t. Victor says the world was never good enough for Thomas and Thomas says he doesn’t want to leave him. Victor says he could go with him and Thomas says that’s very Shakespearean of him. Victor says there’s nothing left for him there once Thomas is gone, and his mother will look after everyone.

Daniel sees a kid put a dog into something that looks like a laundry shoot and is like, wtf?

Ofelia prays at the shrine. Nick joins her. She asks when he was in a church last and he says he doesn’t remember. She talks to her mother and says she’s worried about Daniel. She thinks he’s frail and has lost his way without her. Nick looks up and sees an owl’s face carved in a tree. It makes him remember when he woke up in the church in the first episode. Ofelia finishes praying and thanks him for being there with her.

Daniel sneaks around and sees the kid talking to a closed door. He asks the kid who he’s talking to and the kid says his mother. Daniel asks the kid to introduce him. Yep, as I thought. There’s bunch of zombies in there and this kid has been feeding them dogs.

Daniel goes to Celia and asks if she’s responsible. She says they’re family and she didn’t want to refuse them shelter, that they were being hunted. Daniel says she poisoned the parishioners and she says he’s being outrageous and needs to make peace with the dead. Okay, now what Victor said about Luis makes sense. She’s bringing communion wafers in to Thomas and Victor.

Celia sings a little Spanish ditty while she gives Thomas a sponge bath. She tells Victor that when Thomas was afraid of the dark as a boy, that was the only thing that worked. She says she never thought Victor was good enough for Thomas, but she was wrong. He asks how long it will take and she says not long. She tells him to sleep and leaves.

Nick sees Celia outside. She says Nick’s mother worries about him and he says he’s given her reason. Celia asks what he wants to know and he asks if they’re really dead. She says no and he asks what they are. She says they’re what comes next. Great.

Victor is in bed with Thomas and watching him. Thomas dies in Victor’s arms. Victor looks at the communion wafer, but walks past it. Chris gets out of bed and gets something out of a drawer. A gun? He goes into Alicia’s room where she’s sleeping with Madison. He takes a knife from the neightstand and a gunshot wakes everyone. Alicia screams at him to get out.

Victor has shot Thomas in the head.

Next time, Chris disappears, Nick walks among the dead, and Victor isn’t done

Shahs of Sunset

Reza and GG are at a bathhouse. GG gas to go through some medical treatments. Reza is of a “no man left behind” school of thought, and says people need other people. That’s what differentiates them from snakes. Really. He said that.

MJ and Tommy are talking about moving in together. They call the fertility doctor about the tests results. He says Tommy’s sperm count is low and it will  be almost impossible to get pregnant. The doctor says it could be a wrong count though because of them having sex too close to the time of the test. MJ makes Tommy swear not to [insert favorite euphemism here] for a minimum of two days.

Jessica and Mike are going to couples counseling. This should be good. The therapist asks for background and Mike says they’re having marital problems. Great start. Jessica has moved out, but Mike didn’t tell anyone. He thought she’d be back in a few days, but it didn’t happen. The therapist asks if they’re in a place where they want to fix things and she’s there to help them work through it.

Jessica says she knocked herself out to show Mike how worthy and capable she was, but then the relationship bombed after marriage. Mike says he’s been working like a dog to be the bread winner and loves Jessica more than anything. She says she needs more than that. More than love and money? Mike says she’s riddled with anger and he feels like he’s failed her. I’m not sure exactly what the problem is. Did he cheat?

Shervin’s mom has come for a visit. She’s trying to cook for him even though he has no utensils. Awww! He has a cute little Pomeranian that he says is a chick magnet. GG is joining them for dinner. They talk about relationships. GG says Shervin has no game, only money. She says he’s looking for the perfect princess who doesn’t exist.

Reza and Asa get together. Asa is having a cat-themed retirement party for her mom. They pick up some fast food and head to Palm Springs. They’re going to pick out a restaurant for the surprise wedding. They check out a room that Asa says is stunning, but I don’t know if I’d go that far. It’s good for Reza though.

Tommy has his sperm count retested. MJ sits in a differnt chair this time for supersticious reasons. She also mentions that they don’t sleep on the same side of the bed every night. That seems weird to me. The test is better this time and the doctor thinks they should be good to go. The doctor says the longer they wait, the less chance of success. MJ isn’t quite ready yet though.

Asa goes to Reza’s Palm Springs place for a drink after they’re done with wedding business. Asa asks Reza what if Adam is caught off guard and Reza doesn’t get the reaction he wants. Reza says he doesn’t have a back up plan, because a back up plan is a plan for a failure.

Shervin is out on a date with Analise, who is Italian, but grew up in Australia. He met her in line at a coffee place. It sounds like Shervin doesn’t work too hard at any kind of relationship stuff. He says all he ever basically does is smile. He asks her something about “cheerio, guv’nor,” and apparently he’s not super bright either since they don’t say that in Australia. She says he must not go on a lot of dates and suggests he switch up his approach.

MJ’s mom, Vida, comes over with her dog Ziggy, who is looking like she’s recovered from MJ taking her to the groomer. Now she just has a purple pom pom on her tail. While they’re cooking, MJ tells Vida that Tommy moved in. Vida is seriously annoyed. MJ says things are moving too fast for her mother. She tells Vida about having her eggs frozen and she feels she only has another year or so to get everything into place. Vida says having a child isn’t like picking out a Louis Vuitton bag. MJ says she’s hoping to marry Tommy and Vida says she’ll get no help from her since he’s the wrong guy. And Vida ought to know.

Asa is preparing for the retirement party. Mr. Barfy makes an appearance for his favorite food, flaming Cheetos. Everyone dresses like a cat except Mike. He makes excuses for Jessica by saying she’s out of town. GG gives Asa’s mother a bottle of wine in a cat-shaped bottle.

Reza says Asa’s mom is also a sorcerer (wouldn’t that be sorceress?) and reads coffee grounds. He tells her about the surprise wedding and she says the grounds tell him to be careful and that the future is unknown. She sees someone who might interfere as well.

Asa makes a toast to her mother’s gangster ways. Reza asks GG what’s up since she looks like she has a glow. She says she’s been communicating better and it’s taken her to good places. MJ asks Mike about Jessica and he says he likes MJ’s shoes. He walks away from the table, but MJ follows. Mike tells her that he realizes Jessica thought he would change when they got married. He says they got in a huge argument, and when he got home from work the next day, she’d gone to her parents. MJ feels hurt because she didn’t realize it was a facade, which I don’t understand at all. Mike starts whining about how hard it is and how he wants Jessica to come home. Reza thinks it’s bizarre after only six months. Oddly enough, GG is the voice of reason, telling MJ it’s none of her business. MJ keeps repeating that Mike’s wife left him and Mike finally tells her to shut up, because he can hear her from halfway across the yard. He wonders who made her a marriage counselor when she has her own issues.

It’s time to cut the cake. It’s a huge white cat. MJ decides to go home and toddles off before Asa smears icing all over her mom’s face. Asa follows MJ outside. MJ says she’s done with Mike’s shennanigans and Reza says she’s had over a fifth of tequila. Yikes! GG says and everyone keeps calling her crazy.

Next time, the Shahs dress up in monkey suits (and I don’t mean tuxedos, I mean monkey suits), Tommy tells MJ to quit bothering Mike, and the surprise wedding happens…or does it?

Game of Thrones

Edd picks up his sword. He asks Jon where he’s going and Jon says south. He asks what Jon is going to do and Jon says get warm. Edd asks how Jon can leave them now when he knows what’s coming? Jon says his own brothers killed him, so how can Edd expect him to stay?.

Brienne, Pod and Sansa come to the gate. Yay! They finally made it somewhere. Jon comes out. He and Sansa hug.

Sansa has some soup and she and Jon make small talk. He says they should never have left Winterfell. Sansa says she was awful as a kid, and wishes she could change everything. She makes him forgive her. Sansa asks where Jon is going and he says she’s coming too; if he doesn’t look after her, their father’s ghost will haunt him. Sansa thinks they should take back Winterfell. Jon is tired of fighting. He says it’s all he’s done since he left home. She says if they don’t take back the north, they’ll never be safe. She wants him to help, but is willing to do it herself.

Davos approaches the Red Woman. She says Jon is the prince who was promised and she’s going to do what he commands. Davos mentions that she’d thought Stannis was the promised prince. The Red Woman tells him about the battle. When Davos asks about Princess Shireen, Brienne joins the, saying she saw what happened. I’ll bet that made the Red Woman sweat, but Davos doesn’t pursue it. Brienne also tells them she’s the one who executed Stannis.

Robin is doing target practice and Petyr drives up. He’s brought Robin a falcon. Lord Royce asks about Sansa and Petyr tells him what happened, but wonders how his secrets about Sansa got out. Royce says he’s always been faithful and Robin asks Petyr if they can trust him. Petyr says he would make a capable commander and deserves another chance. Robin agrees.

Petyr tells Robin that Sansa escaped, and was headed for Castle Black, but she won’t be safe with the Boltons after her. Robin says they should help her. Petyr says to get everyone ready for battle.

Tyrion talks to Grey Worm and Missandei about negotiations. Missandei says he hasn’t been there long enough to understand how it works.

One of the men tells Tyrion they came to meet the queen, and instead they get a eunich and a dwarf. He says Dany was offered ships and she refused them. Missandei says it’s because of the slavery situation. Tyrion says they don’t need slaves to make money. He says he grew up richer than any of them and there haven’t been slaves in Westeros for hundreds of years. Tyrion says Dany will compromise, giving them seven years to end the practice, and they’ll be compensated. They’re also to cut off support of the Sons of the Harpy. The man says they don’t support them, and Tyrion says all the same, they’re to stop their support. He gives them some girls to seal the deal.

Tyrion talks to the head guys who are pissed at him meeting with the slavers. He says the queen chose him as her adviser and as soon as she returns — but he’s interrupted as there’s concern she won’t return. Grey Worm says if there’s a chance for peace, they should go for it. Missandei says we make peace with our enemies not our friends.

Afterwards, Grey Worm tells Tyrion that he’s loyal to Dany, not Tyrion, and he’d better be right. Tyrion says he does’t trust them, but trusts their self-interest. He says their contempt is their weakness and they can use it to their advantage. Grey Worm says it will end up the other way around the way it does every time.

Jorah and Daario are hiking the hills. Daario tells Jorah that he’s getting old for all this stuff, and that it’s hard for him to keep up with Dany and he’s a young man. They observe the Dothraki camp. Jorah tells Daario that they’ve taken Dany to the temple. Jorah takes his sword off, telling Daario there are no weapons allowed. Daario suggests sneaking in to cart off Dany isn’t allowed either, but Jorah says if they get caught, it’s better if they’re unarmed.

At nightfall, they sneak into the camp, which is really rocking and rolling with Dothraki eating, drinking and being merry. Jorah sees some men and pretends he’s a wineseller who got lost. The guy says they’re not merchants and a fight ensues. Jorah nearly gets killed, but apparently Daario decided to keep one of his weapons. Jorah says if anyone finds the body, the whole city will be looking for them. Daario covers up the stab wound by beating the crap out of the body with a rock.

At the crone camp, the girls sit in a circle and the head crone tells Dany she hopes Dany is allowed to stay with them. Dany says she needs some water and the crone tells her there’s no running from the Dothraki. Dany says she’d never do that and one of the girls escorts her to the well. Halfway there, Daario and Jorah pop out. Dany tells the girl to have faith in her.

The sisters come to Margaery’s cell and bring her to see the High Sparrow. He asks her where she’d go if she could leave. She says to her brother, her family, her husband. He says that would be seeking materialism and materialism is sin. He tells her his own story. He says he sought a taste of the high life and had an epiphany and how his life was a collection of lies. He left his life and never went back, not even stopping for his shoes.

The High Sparrow takes Margaery to her brother. Loras starts to weep and she tells him he has to stay strong and that he’s the future of their family. He says he’s not strong and begs for help. She says they want her to help tear him down; that’s the only reason the High Sparrow is letting her see him. He dissolves into a puddle of tears and isn’t much help.

The Grand Maester is speaking with Tommen and Cersei kicks him out. Tommen says they need to be careful in dealing with the High Sparrow. He’s concerned about Margaery. Cersei is only concerned about herself, but says Margaery’s safety is paramount. Tommen says Cersei doesn’t like Margaery, but Cersei says it doesn’t matter, a queen should command respect.

Tommen tells Cersei that the High Sparrow told him something in confidence and Cersei says he can trust her. Hahahahahahaha!

Cersei cancels the small councel meeting. She tells Olenna that the High Sparrow has their fate in his grubby, little hands. She says her trial is coming up, but before that, Queen Margaery is supposed to have an atonement walk. Olenna is like, no way, and Cersei says that’s right. Jaime says they’re going to fight the High Sparrow. Cersei tells the King’s Hand to stand aside and his son will be avenged. Olenna says people will die no matter what route is taken, so better them than us. Amen, sista!

Theon finally makes it home. His sister says she didn’t believe it when she was told. Yara says good men died trying to rescue him. She says he was her brother, so she risked everything for him and he betrayed her. Theon says Ramsay broke him into a thousand pieces. She says they got one of the pieces and that’s why they tried to free him. Yara thinks he’s just there to claim the throne. He says he doesn’t want to be king. She asks what he wants. He says that she should rule. Damn straight.

Creepy Ramsay peels an apple. The guard shoves Osha into his room. He asks if she knows his banner. She says yes, the flayed man, and asks if they eat them afterward. Ha-ha! He says no, and she says she’s seen worse. She makes like the Starks had turned her into a slave and she thought she could ransom Rickon. He says Rickon is no longer hers, and why should he keep her around? She puts the moves on him, and he says she’s a good talker. He tells her he knows all about her past with the Starks and who helped the boys escape. Then he slits her throat. Bye, Osha.

Brienne watches Tormund eat. Edd says sorry about the food; it’s not what they’re known for. Somene come in with a message for the Lord Commander. Jon says that’s not him anymore, but takes it anyway. It’s from Ramsay, telling him to come and try to take Winterfell. He has Rickon and the skin of his direwolf is on the floor. He wants his wife back. He goes on to say how he’s going to torture everyone in graphic detail. Jon can’t read any more and Sansa reads the rest. It’s signed the Lord of Winterfell, so they know Roose is dead.

Sansa says a monster has taken their home and their brother, and they have to fight to save them both. She tells Jon people will fight for him if he only asks.

At the Dothraki camp, the Khal and his guys discuss the dead guy they found. Dany is brought in. The Khals buddy says she’s a midget. He says someone is offering 10,000 horses for her and he’s not sure if they should let her stay with the crones or use her as a whore. Dany asks if they’d like her opinion. The Khal says she has no voice unless she is Dosh Kahleen. They talk about Khal Drogo and the plans he had. She says his plans were bigger and better than any of the  piddling stuff they’re doing. She says none of them are fit to lead the Dothraki, but she is.

The Khal says fine, they’ll take turns with her and then give their horses a turn. He calls her crazy. She tells him he’s gong to die and knocks over the fire pit. The whole places starts burning. The men are all running around like crazy. It’s like Carrie — the doors are locked and everything is going up in flames, with Dany in the middle of it, cool as a cucumber.

A crowd gathers outside and Dany emerges just like she did the first time, nakey and untouched in the middle of a massive blaze. The crowd bows down to her. Jorah and Daario come forward, amazed. They too bow down. Very impressive. A beautiful and emotional scene.

Next time, Petyr and Sansa meet, Yara claims the iron throne, and Bran has a helluva vision.