Tag Archives: Bravo

Jan19

January 18, 2016 — GH, SUR in Hawaii & Some Chefs

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Sonny, Alexis and Christina are having lunch at the MetroCourt because no one cooks at home anymore. Alexis and Sonny are commending Christina on her great semester in school. She must want the floor to swallow her up right about now, and she deflects the conversation to Alexis’s wedding.

Sam knocks on Jason’s hotel suite and Elizabeth answers. Elizabeth acts like he’s there, and says they’re getting ready to go to bed. Then Jason comes up behind Sam with Jake and I laugh my head off.

Dante goes through the pictures of Johnny and Valerie, but I don’t think he’s buying what Johnny had wanted them to convey. He tells Jordan that he thinks there’s some connection between Johnny’s sighting and Valerie being MIA.

Valerie struggles against her bonds and knocks over a candle, which starts burning trash on the floor.  Lulu drives up, calling for Johnny. Valerie is still struggling, but apparently that candle is one of those trick ones, because now nothing is burning, and then we see the candle light everything up again. Hello? Editing department?

Sonny brings up Christina and Johnny, which was at a time when I wasn’t watching. Christina promises not to contact him and also promises not to marry Ryan Gosling, since she says there’s about as much chance of that. Sonny says his check for the next semester was returned uncashed.

Jake acts like the bad seed he is, insulting Sam, and Elizabeth acts like the good soul she’s not and tells him that’s rude. Jake goes to bed, and Sam tells Jason and Elizabeth about Dr. Sheinberg, and how he’s going to come forward. Elizabeth acts like she’s grateful that Sam got involved and Jason kills all her hopes by telling Sam he’s staying down the hall. Ah-ha! in Nelson voice.

Dante tells Jordan about the conversation with Dillon and how he saw Johnny. Jordan wonders why Johnny was in Lulu’s company as far back as Christmas. Dante says Johnny wasn’t necessarily in her company. Jordan wants to talk to Lulu, but Dante says he can’t get her on the phone. He shows Jordan the photos.

Lulu keeps beeping the horn, while the flames get closer to Valerie who is yelling her head off. As much as you can with a gag anyway.

Elizabeth asks Jason how Jake was when they were out. Jason says that he’s a kid and he wants things he can’t have. Elizabeth says she can’t stop thinking about what Jake went through with Helena. Jason says thanks to Sam he might be able to avoid jail. Jake pops in and says Sam isn’t as good as Jason thinks she is.

Alexis wonders why the check would be sent back. Christina makes up something about it being an electronic error and that other students got checks back. She tells Sonny to just give her the check and she’ll deliver it personally. She leaves to talk to Sam, and I don’t think Sonny or Alexis are believing her.

Jordan and Dante look at the photos. Dante judges the dates by what Valerie is wearing. Jordan says it looks like Valerie was on the take. Dante says he doesn’t believe that. Jordan says she doesn’t want to either, but he’d better figure out how to prove that’s not the case.

Lulu decides to leave, but sees the fire. She jumps out of the car and runs to the cabin. Don’t call 911 or anything.  No, that would be too easy. She goes inside and sees Valerie unconscious with flames dancing around her. Let her burn and all your troubles will be over. Just turn around now.

Jason and Elizabeth grill Jake about brushing his teeth. I ask again, how old is this kid??? Jason asks what Jake meant about Sam. He says she’s greedy and wants everything for herself. Jason says that’s not true and Jake says she broke the picture of their family.

Christina tells Sam her parents are being intrusive. Sam asks her what’s going on. Christina asks her not to tell her parents, and when Sam promises not to, she tells Sam she’s been suspended.

Alexis tells Sonny his clashes with Christina are probably because they’re so much alike. He seems to think there’s something going on, and suggests maybe she’s embarrassed having a father who didn’t finish school and is a crime lord. I suggest that if this was a problem, they would have known by now.

No progress has been made at the PCPD. Jordan asks Dante how he thinks Lulu might be involved. Bobbi comes in and Dante asks for her help. He tells her about the photos. Bobbi asks if they think Valerie is in cahoots with Johnny. Jordan says not necessarily, but both of them are missing. Bobbi says she knows Valerie wouldn’t throw in with Johnny and that if Valerie is missing, it’s probably foul play.

Lulu runs to Valerie. She puts her jacket over Valerie’s head and gets the ropes untied. Lulu tries to wake up Valerie, but no luck. She pulls her out of the chair and starts doing CPR. Is she not breathing or does Lulu think this is how you wake up an unconscious person? Lulu screams at Valerie to wake up. Finally, she sits up and Lulu gets her outside.

Dante and Jordan ask Bobbi if Valerie has been stressed lately. Bobbi says yes, but she was concentrating on her career. She says that Valerie was used to money being tight, but she was looking for a job and she wouldn’t have taken money from Johnny. Jordan says that’s it for now, but they might have more questions later. Jordan tells Dante this doesn’t explain the pictures

Elizabeth asks Jake if he saw Sam break the picture. He says no, but that doesn’t mean she didn’t do it. Ha-ha! Jason tells him he shouldn’t make up stories and that Sam didn’t break the picture. Jake asks how he knows that. He says he knows Sam and that she knows lies are a mistake and that they never take you where you want to go. Jake says maybe she didn’t break the picture, but she wants to steal his family. I still say that kid broke the picture himself.

Alexis says Christina loves Sonny and that if she’s irritated, it has nothing to do with him. At the bar, Christina says her last break up was bad and she skipped class for a while. By the time she went back, she was failing. She tells Sam that she didn’t tell her parents because she thought she could catch up, but it never happened. Sam says she should talk to her professor. Christina says she tried, but she didn’t ask him “the right way.” When Sam asks what she means, Christina says she asked him if there was anything else she could do to pass the class.

Jason lectures Jake on what a good person Sam is. Jake says that Sam is bad because she took Jason away from them. Elizabeth tells him to go to bed, but he says he can’t sleep. Jake goes wherever, and Jason tells Elizabeth they’re not going to panic, he’s going out to get ginger ale and he’ll be back later.

Christina adds that the professor is hot, and Sam assumes she slept with him. Sam gives her a run down on why this is a bad idea. Christina says she didn’t have sex with him, but she offered it. Instead of taking her up on it, the professor turned her in and she got suspended. This sounds ridiculous, and I seriously doubt it would happen in real life. Christina says she can’t tell her parents. Sam says she’ll ultimately have to.

Alexis and Sonny confer on what’s up with Christina. They rule out love life. Alexis tells Sonny that she has better communication with Christina and she hasn’t heard a peep. She also suggests that Sonny go back to school if he wants to speak Christina’s language and thinks it’s creating a wedge between them.

Dante tells Jordan being on the take isn’t like Valerie and she knows it. He says whoever sent the photos was setting her up. Jordan says if she was being set up, then by whom? Johnny doesn’t make any sense and who else would do it? Think hard, Dante.

Lulu and Valerie are outside. Lulu realizes she left her phone in her jacket inside the cabin. She wants to walk for help, but Valerie says they’re in the middle of nowhere and she’s going to freeze. And if they stay here, they have this huge fire to keep them warm. She really didn’t say that last part, but I thought it was funny.

Sam tells Christina she can’t wish the problem away, and that if she doesn’t tell her parents, Sam will. Christina says she’ll get a crappy apartment and work a crappy job and go back later. She also doesn’t want to burden Sonny with something else. She begs Sam not to tell and Sam relents. She gives Christina the keys to her place and tells her to keep it clean. She makes Christina promise to give her weekly updates and stay away from the professor.

Sonny tells Alexis that Julian is a snake. Alexis says they almost made it through a conversation without arguing about him. Sonny reminds her that Julian had Duke killed. Alexis leaves.

Christina gets a text from Parker. Who?

Jason comes into the bar and sees Sam. Jason explains about why Elizabeth is in his room. Sam says she appreciates it, but he doesn’t have to explain anything to her. He tells her about telling Jake how she searches for the truth. She says she wasn’t always that way; that he taught her to be like that. She leaves.

Jake asks Elizabeth if they’ll ever be together as a family again. She says anything can happen.

Dante keeps trying to get Lulu on the phone. He leaves a message saying he knows she’s in the middle of the Johnny/Valerie mess and wants to know what the blip is going on.

Valerie and Lulu huddle under a towel. I’m assuming the car won’t start? Even if that’s the case, why don’t they get into the car? At least their weather is on point with the real world. It’s freaking freezing out.

Tomorrow, Scotty is back! Valerie wonders how Lulu found her and Paul wonders how long before Ava disrobes.

Vanderpump Rules

After a plane ride I’m glad I wasn’t a passenger on, the gang arrives in Hawaii. It’s absolutely beautiful, and I can just imagine what a waste this trip is going to be on this group. Of course someone says they got laid when presented with a lei upon landing. Sigh.

The rooms are spectacular and the drinking begins immediately. That’s if it ever stopped. Lala tells Faith that James thinks he’s going to get with her, but he’s not. Ariana shows Tom a series of texts between Scheana and Ariana’s mother discussing Tom in a negative way with Scheana as the instigator.

More drinking before dinner. Max is still recovering from his surgery. Tom announces tomorrow’s activity, a hike with him as guide. There are also upcoming surf lessons. Ariana is stressing over the Scheana texts and isn’t fully enjoying herself. I guess I’d be pissed too.

Ariana makes a toast to the birthday boys, Tom and Jax, using the word “awesome” a lot. Lala has said PDA is James’s thing and she’s right. Jax says something stupid about people who aren’t here who should be and people who are there who shouldn’t be. Lala says Britney needs to “control her man” and I wonder what planet she’s from. What is wrong with that woman? An argument starts between James and Jax. A-hole awards all around.

More drinking. James is bending Max’s ear and complaining about Jax. The rest of the crowd joins them at a very NYC looking bar. Scheana says she and Shay are going to have alone time while everyone else is going on the hike. Tom brings up the texts. Scheana tries to act like it was Ariana’s mom who initiated the conversation, but Ariana got the texts straight from her mom. Tom reads them out loud. Scheana acts like she didn’t do anything wrong and says Tom has a superior attitude.

Ariana can’t figure out the motivation, but I’m wondering if it’s because they don’t want to be friends with Kristen. Tom says he’s been a stand up guy with them. Scheana says she sticks by her words, what’s done is done, and she’s going to bed. Tom tells Shay that if it was him, he’d be pretty angry too. If this was me, I’d ignore them for the rest of the trip and have a good time.

Giggy! Lisa is worried about Max. Aww, we see pics of Ken with Max as a baby. Lisa isn’t thrilled that James is on the trip because he’s erratic and unpredictable. I don’t blame her.

Katie has jet lag. Schwartz tells her he recreated Justin Bieber’s nakey pic on their balcony while she was sleeping. Yep, he did. And he Instagrammed it. Lisa sent them flowers and they give her a call. She asks how Max is doing and she tells them how worried she is. Katie says she’s as tough as a mother as she is as a boss. Lisa says she gets concerned when the bunch of them goes somewhere together. Again, I don’t blame her.

Scheana, who is totally disappointing me, is gossiping about Ariana and Tom to Jax.  Britney is tired of Lala flirting with Jax and says she’s going to talk to her.

The group, minus the Shays and Katie, goes on a hike. This is the kind of thing I would love. They go swimming in a place that has a waterfall. We flash back to some of Stassi’s birthdays and her control issues. Tom promises not to act like that. Lala and Faith take their tops off. Jax says he’s going to look, but the trick is looking without Britney seeing. Schwartz has the opposite reaction in that they’ve seen so many, it’s no big deal.

Scheana hopes Shay can master moderation on this trip because she can’t grasp that he should not drink at all. Don’t come whining to me when he disappears for days again.

The hikers stop at a clearing. Schwartz asks what’s up with Ariana and Scheana, and Ariana explains. Schwartz says he doesn’t think Scheana is right, but Tom has been a little snippy lately.

In the meantime, Scheana is telling Katie how she’s her best friend now, and Tom and Ariana act like they’re on a pedestal. Because we’re all 14.

Britney confronts Lala about having no respect for her and Jax’s relationship. Lala says she’s crossed the line flirting and she apologizes. She says she didn’t know they were together. Jax says no way he said that. Lala says at first she thought he was just leaving out details, but now she knows he’s a liar. This is true, but she’s also a sleazebag.

Jax goes humana-humana and Lala tells Britney she does respect relationships. In her individual interview, Lala says she could say a lot that Britney doesn’t want to hear, but sees no point, and Jax says he dodged a bullet.

James asks Max if he supposed to be drinking right now. Max says no, but James justifies it by saying it’s a disinfectant. Okay. Lisa calls Max to check up on him. He thinks he assuages her fears, but probably not. Lala and Faith join them and Lala tells James about Britney’s confrontation.

Schwartz tells Katie about their day and says he saw Lala’s boobs but didn’t look at them. Katie thinks it’s wrong for the girls to be taking off their tops around other people’s boyfriends and I agree. Schwartz tells her about the texts. Katie disagrees about Scheana being in the wrong and says Schwartz isn’t being supportive.

Even more drinking! This time it’s those drinks in pineapples. Ariana brings up Lala’s toplessness and says it wasn’t appropriate. Lala says she encourages every woman to go topless. Scheana says she totally understands Katie’s side, but what did she expect? Lala says what It really means is she doesn’t trust her man. Boys would probably be a more accurate description for the males in this group.

Now that she’s had a few pineapple drinks, Lala decides Britney should hear the truth . She takes Britney aside and tells her about Jax playing a part in their flirting, and that he said he wanted to get with her. Britney says she’s confused, since Jax has acted innocent. Britney tries to pin a little on Lala, but somehow Lala turns it around. Lala says she’s not going down with the ship anymore. Britney says she’s going to talk to Jax. Way to have fun on vacation. I don’t know who’s a bigger d-bag, Jax or Lala. Probably James will trump the both of them.

Britney takes Jax aside. I think he knows what’s coming. Britney tells Jax what Lala said. He repeats her words, which usually tells me that the person is thinking about what answer they’re going to fabricate. Jax says Lala was drunk and is just reaching. Britney calls Lala over. Lala insists she told the truth. Jax repeats that she was drunk and insists he never said it. Scheana sticks her nose into it, but says she didn’t really hear anything. In her individual interview, Scheana says she has her suspicions, but didn’t want to rock the boat. Lala starts getting animated and Jax continues to insist he did nothing. Lala says she’s only been honest and she’s done.

She walks away to be alone.

Next time, more drinking! Stassi and Kristen get together, and Jax gets arrested.

MasterChef Celebrity Showdown

If they rerun this, I highly recommend watching. As well as having celebrities compete, a trio of MasterChef winners compete against the final three from this season of MasterChef Junior, which includes my girl, Addy. Christine, winner of MasterChef’s season three, was also a favorite of mine, as she’s blind. Everyone was surprised that she ended up the winner, but it was logical to me, as I thought her other senses would be more keen. All of the entrants got a donation to their charity of choice, and the big winners get an extra donation.

Best of all, it’s food porn at its finest.

Jan18

January 17, 2016 — A Potomac of Etiquette & Nene’s Return

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

The Real Housewives of Potomac

First up, Gizelle. She tells us Potomac is one of the most exclusive areas in the country and only pedigree or cash can get you in. Her father was big in the civil rights movement. She was married to Jamal Bryant who was a bigwig pastor and also a civil rights leader. Unfortunately, he was also a cheater, so she’s now divorced. She also has three young girls, and so far, everyone looks pretty normal.

Katie is next, meeting her boyfriend, Andrew, for lunch. He orders for her. Enough said. She has three kids under the age of three. Now really enough said. She wants to go to the Preakness, but Andrew wants her doing something to support his career. She mentions that she’d like to get married again. She can’t imagine why Andrew doesn’t want to marry such a great catch. I’m sure it won’t be long before I figure it out.

Robyn comes from a family of doctors and lawyers, but she’s in public relations because she’s not into a suit type job. Gizelle comes over. Robyn says Gizelle has a rocking sense of humor, but a lot of people in Potomac don’t get her. Robyn lives with her ex-husband, Juan, and they’re raising their kids together. While this isn’t unheard of, they also sleep in the same bed, so I’m not so sure how different this Is from being married, since she also says neither one of them is dating. Gizelle says they tried to get rid of Juan, but he only went to the mailbox and back.

Next is Karen. I can already tell from the previews that she’s a piece of work. She says her husband Raymond is the Black Bill Gates. She says money isn’t everything but she’s never met a happy poor man. Really? Has she ever left her yard?

Karen arrives at Gizelle’s house where she has a problem negotiating the steps in those sky high heels all the Wives wear. In her individual interview, Karen talks about her leadership position in the community. Her youngest daughter is getting ready to go to college and the ladies talk kids for a while. Gizelle says that anything you can do, Karen can do better. She says she also feels judged by Karen, but it comes with the territory.

Katie and Gizelle meet at a family restaurant that also has a burlesque show going on, which seems like an oxymoron or something. Robyn and Cherisse show up. Cherisse’s husband is some kind of coach and that’s how Robyn knows her. She’s also a good friend of Karen, in whose honor this luncheon is being thrown. There’s some disagreement about who should get the middle seat. As the honoree, etiquette dictates Karen should have it, but Gizelle isn’t budging, so Karen acts passive aggressive. Let me get this straight. You’re having a lunch at a burlesque house and you’re worried about the seating manners?

Cherisse’s husband travels a lot and she says it’s good with her. Sounds like a good way to keep the marriage going to me. They toast to Karen and the compliments flow along with the champagne. I gag because I’m sure these women don’t all love Karen. I certainly don’t.

Charisse is going to have a crab boil as another tribute to Karen, and needs Gizelle’s help with learning how to boil crab. Gizelle brings a stylist friend along, and apparently three or more people are needed for this operation. The second they open the bucket, all the crabs take off running. Can you blame them?

They’re not much better at this when they round up the crabs and get them inside. Why didn’t she just have this catered? When Charisse is getting dressed, Gizelle and friend look through her kitchen. Friend asks about the Coors Light in the fridge, as though rich people might not drink that. The two of them make so much noise, Charisse can hear them and starts to get annoyed.

Gizelle and friend goof around with the housekeeper. Charisse acts all indignant that these two are being playful. They start coming upstairs and she asks them to wait downstairs, threatening to kick them out. Her nose is so far up in the air, she must trip on sidewalk cracks a lot. Oh, wait. She probably travels by a sedan carried by servants.

Because Charisse is taking so long to get ready, Gizelle greets the guests. Karen arrives, annoyed that there’s no valet parking and she has to walk twelve feet. Gizelle talks about bringing her stylist and Karen is aghast that someone dares to hang out with the help. She also has some weird notion that Charisse shouldn’t have brought the help to help.

Karen brings up Charisse sitting in the center at her birthday. Oh brother. Karen says etiquette is everything and gives Charisse a framed set of etiquette rules. These are all rules that apply directly to this birthday lunch, which BTW, Karen was late to. This is possibly one of the stupidest things I’ve ever seen on a Wives show and that’s saying a lot.

Some friend of Charisse’s goes running upstairs to tattle that Gizelle complained about her. Charisse is acting like Gizelle is being ghetto just because she’s acting like a normal person. Gizelle says she has a legacy and a pedigree and Karen comes from a farm. This is said during her interview segment, but I have the feeling she wouldn’t be afraid to say it to Karen’s face. Karen gets ridiculously wound up and offended, and walks away from Gizelle.

Next time, the girls take a vintage photo, try on bathing suits, and surf. It also looks like the drinking guns come out. This season, lots of shade and drama.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Phaedra and her boys are going to Washington DC to support the Million Man March. The boys are helping her pack, which basically means not helping. Phaedra is also meeting with some politicians for support with her organization, Save Our Sons. Porsha , Kim and Sheree are coming too. Does Porsha know what Washington DC is?

Todd and Kandi discuss opening a restaurant. Todd says Kandi has a fabulous book of recipes and they should share them with the world. Wouldn’t it be simpler to publish a cookbook? Todd wants to meet with the relatives about using the recipes.

Kenya continues to have work done on the money pit house. She’s behind her timeline, but now that she’s back from Detroit, she’s determined to get the project finished. Cynthia comes by the construction site and asks about the reunion. Kenya tells her about the better relationship with her father, but also about her mother’s snub. She also talks about her mother calling her Aunt Lori and then Lori leaving the reunion. Cynthia says she would have kicked the door down, but I think she’s being rude in saying that. You never know what you’d do in another person’s shoes. To her credit, Cynthia weeps a little with Kenya.

Kenya says she hasn’t spoken to her Aunt Lori and she hates the tension between them.

Phaedra gets a call from Apollo in prison, which sounds like the name of a band or B-movie. He talks to Aidan and Aidan tells him about their impending trip. Apollo tells him he needs to behave better in school, as he’d gotten a bad report. Phaedra says she tries to get Apollo on the phone with the kids as much as possible.

Congresswoman Wilson is a friend of Phaedra’s and has a program to help send young Black men to college. Phaedra is going to meet with her in DC as well. Phaedra has a team coming with her because it takes a village, but on the other hand, Kim likes to handle her own stuff, so she’s going to be juggling a couple of kids on the trip.

The ladies check out the House of Representatives and meet with the Congresswoman, who is wearing quite an outfit, including a sparkly red cowboy hat. She also has some kind of cool table runner with 3D giraffes on either side in her office. Phaedra asks to pick the Congresswoman’s brain. She’d better look out or she won’t have anything left when Phaedra is done. Porsha makes noises about wanting to learn about her heritage, but I’m guessing this is just a passing thought.

The Congresswoman starts talking about how America hates young Black men and I flash back to Michael Meyers’s face when Kenye West spouted off about President Bush and he looked like he wanted the floor to swallow him up. Kim excuses herself with her boys because she feels the topic is a little mature for her kids. Phaedra says she doesn’t want to “sugar coat” things with her sons, throwing shade at Kim. I toss it back, thinking, I suppose not, with dad in prison and all. Kim explains things to her kids in a more appropriate way in another room.

Aunt Lori comes over to Kenya’s, along with someone else (a cousin?). Lori says they want to talk to Kenya about something. They all sit down with a drink. Lori says she never wanted to be in the middle with Kenya in her mom. She says she loves Kenya, but she also loves her sister. Lori says Kenya’s mom was young when she had Kenya and had every right to give up her child. Kenya says she’s not judging her for that, but objects to her treatment of Kenya in later years.

Lori tells her “enough is enough.” Kenya says she saw her mother at family functions over the years where her mother talked to everyone else, but ignored her as though she didn’t exist. This sounds just incredibly bizarre. No wonder Kenya has issues. Kenya asks why Lori left the reunion. Lori says her sister had been alone when Kenya came by, was frightened by Kenya, and she should have called first. Kenya says it’s her mother. The cousin says something about it being a sensitive situation with the family. Lori says Kenya has no idea what went on behind the scenes and that it doesn’t matter what happened but it’s time to let it go and move on. Kenya says that when she left her mother’s house, it was like a dark cloud blew away. The cousin, who turns out to be Lori’s daughter, says Kenya can share her mother. It’s all good at the end of the meeting and everyone hugs.

Phaedra has put together a luncheon for the members of Congress who have helped her out. I barely know who my Congressman is, but she seems to know all these people personally. One of Kim’s kids starts screeching and she has to go. Sheree suggests that Kim should have brought a team. Kim says these activities are not for kids.

We flash back to Porsha thinking the Underground Railroad was an actual train. She’s come a long way. Maybe. Sheree goes out to the limo and suggests Kim come back in and not be disrespectful. Kim says she’s not; she’s trying to take care of her kids. Sheree is incredibly dense and seems to have forgotten what it’s like to have small children. Well, it was a long time ago. Bloop!

Kandi is having a family dinner to butter the relatives up about the recipe usage. Mama Joyce is loving on Todd who’s wondering who this woman is. Todd compliments all the women on their cooking and says he and Kandi were thinking about opening a restaurant. One of them is like, I’m not doing the cooking, but Kandi explains they would just be consultants. Aunt Bertha seems hesitant, but the others are liking the idea.

Phaedra and Porsha have room service. Phaedra says that Louis Farrakhan called her personally to be on stage during the march. The ladies get in some kind of limo bus and head for the march. Kim is leaving early for an event supporting lymphoma research, and both Phaedra and Sheree have a lot to say about that, just not to her face.

Phaedra introduces some mothers of murdered sons to the ladies. Porsha acts like she understands what’s going on.

Nene is coming to visit Cynthia. Interesting how the very person propelling her reintroduction is the same one she thought should be let go from the show on Watch What Happens Live. Cynthia tells Nene she can unblock her on social media now and everyone acts like nothing happened, although we get reminded with some flashbacks, including Cynthia burning their friendship contract.

Nene says she’s had the time she needed and now she wants to start a friendship again. Ugh! Does Cynthia understand what she’s getting into? It’s not like Nene has changed. When Cynthia says that she’s friends with Kenya, Nene makes a fish face. Cynthia brings Nene up to speed on the group.

Nene says the queen is back. But I don’t see RuPaul anywhere.

Next time, Phaedra makes plans to take the kids to visit Apollo and Kenya calls Kim a pretentious piece of tootie.

Jan16

January 15, 2016 — GH, Little & Big Chefs, & a Couch

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

At the hotel, Elizabeth asks Jason if there’s been any news. He says the police haven’t made any discoveries yet. Elizabeth says she doesn’t want to stay in the hotel any longer.

Tracy is on an island somewhere getting a massage. I wish I was there too.

Nicholas is back home and Hayden is fussing over him. Nicholas says they seem to be working things to their advantage. He tells her about the deal he proposed to Jason and that Jason didn’t take him up on it.

Sam shows up at a hotel room. A large, bald man answers the door. He tells her she must have the wrong room. She asks if he’s a Dr. Sheinberg and says he’s her only hope. Because he’s secretly Obi Wan Kenobi.

Dillon asks for Valerie at the station since they’re supposed to meet there and go out to dinner. The desk cop says she’s not there. Dillon hears him say something about Johnny being on the loose and mentions that Maxie saw him today.

Lulu answers the door to Laura. Laura says she saw Johnny is back in town and Lulu says she’s shocked.

Valerie calls for help, but Johnny says don’t bother.

Jason suggests that Cameron come and stay with them. Elizabeth says having the whole family together will confuse Jake even more. Jason says it doesn’t make sense for her to go back before the case is wrapped up. Jake pops in and is thrilled “daddy is home.”

Dante runs into Dillon and asks what’s going on.

Lulu tells Laura that Dante told her about Johnny and that Johnny had contacted Maxie. Laura says Luke’s daughter should be a better liar and asks if she was hiding Johnny on The Haunted Star.

Johnny ties Valerie up inside a ranger cabin. Valerie asks why Johnny is doing this. He says she should be asking what she can do to get out of it. She thinks it has something to do with Luke, but Johnny tells her to keep her mouth shut and let him think. He’s actually a little scary here, but I don’t like Valerie, so I’m okay with it.

Nicholas wonders why Jason would risk prison and being separated from his sons for ELQ. Hayden says her statement had some inconsistencies and asks if Nicholas thinks their case is iron-clad. He says considering Jason’s background, it shouldn’t be a problem,

Sam says she knows Dr. Sheinberg is meeting someone other than his wife at the hotel. He thinks she’s there to shake him down, but she says he was there the night of the fight and she wants her suspicions confirmed. He says they were at the window checking out the view. He keeps talking about the dark haired man, meaning Nicholas, and the light haired man, meaning Jason, but don’t they have pretty much the same hair color? He says the dark haired man threw the first punch and was the aggressor, and that the dark haired man’s momentum carried him over the balcony. Sam asks if he’ll tell the police. He says he can’t do that. She says then they’ll hear it from the recording she just made.

Elizabeth says the longer they stay, Jake is going to think they’re getting back together. She says being there with Jason is difficult for her as well. She say the nicer he is, the more she regrets what she did and the love they shared doesn’t just go away. Please, Jason, do not fall for this.

Johnny freaks a little when he hears a siren in the distance, but it passes. Valerie says the next one will be for them. Johnny says no one will be around at least until morning. Valerie tells him sooner or later someone is going to find them and Johnny should turn himself in. Johnny says she’s more trouble than he expected, but he has a solution. I don’t think it’s a good one for her, since he used the word “unfortunately.”

Tracy says she can’t relax. The masseuse asks if there’s anything he can do to help. Is he hitting on her?

Nicholas says because of the fall, he sees how much Hayden cares for him and she has a loving, generous heart. The phone rings and Hayden answers. It’s Tracy, telling her it’s the voice of doom calling. Tracy says she probably prefers Hayden to Rachel, and calls her Rachel throughout the rest of the conversation. She asks how Nicholas is doing. Nicholas asks who’s on the phone and Hayden tells him it’s a medical follow-up. He says he’ll handle it.

Johnny sees the text from Lulu and Valerie asks who he’s calling.

Lulu tells Laura that she hasn’t seen Johnny and doesn’t know where he is. Laura asks who she was in the stateroom with. Lulu says she was by herself and when Laura came she was cleaning up. Laura says she’d buy that if Lulu hadn’t tried to keep her away from a duffel bag that was there. The phone rings and Laura asks if it’s Johnny.

Johnny whispers into the phone not to call him back, but bring the bag with his money in it.

Dante and Nathan say Dillon is being “weird” about Johnny. Dillon says okay, he does have something to tell them, but he wants to do it privately and they’re not going to like it.

Dr. Sheinberg is all how dare you and says Sam can’t use the recording. Sam says au contraire, in the state of New York, she can. She says it would be better though if he would back it up. Dr Sheinberg says he’ll say he was lying. His girlfriend walks in.

Dillon says anything he tells them is off the record. He says he wants anyone who was helping Johnny to have immunity. Dante says no way, and Dillon says good-by then. Dante says he’ll charge him with aiding and abetting, and Dillon says fine, his lawyer is the DA.

Laura wants Lulu to show her the phone. She says she’s working too hard to be evasive and no one shows that much righteous indignation who’s an innocent. Lulu says okay, it was Johnny, but he’s gone and it’s over with. Laura asks why she would do this. Lulu says if it wasn’t for Valerie, she wouldn’t have.

Valerie says she had dinner plans, so they’ll be looking for her. Johnny tells her to shut up and wonders where his bag is.

Jason asks when Jake’s appointment with the therapist is and says they should stay in the hotel at least until then. Jake pops in again, asking about the ice cream Jason promised him. Elizabeth tells them to go, even though it’s late, because how know where they’ll be tomorrow. Please, stop with the dramatics.

Dr. Sheinberg  tells his girlfriend, Veronica, it’s nothing and says don’t talk because Sam will record it. Sam tells them Jason is innocent and will go to prison if they don’t tell what they saw. Dr Sheinberg says it will cost them dearly and there must be some other way. Sam says there isn’t and tells them the backstory. Dr Sheinberg asks how fair is it for them to screw themselves to help her. She says it isn’t fair, but she’s asking them to do the right thing.

Hayden says she’ll handle the call. Tracy says she’d better get it together by the time Tracy gets home or she’ll spill the Rachel beans.

Nicholas tells Hayden he needs her and asks if his vulnerability is sexy. They start to kiss.

Veronica says she’ll support whatever the doctor wants to do, but adds he knows what they should do. He says he doesn’t want to lose her, and that maybe it’s time to go public. He says that if a man’s freedom is at stake, they should help him.  Sam shows them a bunch of paperwork, and it turns out the doctor is the one who ran the DNA test for Carly.

Jake asks if they can go out for ice cream every night. Jason says they’ll be doing lots of things for a very long time.

Dillon says he saw Johnny weeks ago before Christmas on The Haunted Star. He says Lulu said it was just for one night, but Dante puts two and two together and realizes that Johnny was hanging around longer than that. Dillon says Lulu told him there was nothing going on.

Laura says she knows how much Lulu has been hurt, but how is Valerie responsible for anything with Johnny? Lulu starts to say if it wasn’t for Valerie, she wouldn’t have…and stops.

Johnny puts a gag in Valerie’s mouth since she won’t shut up. He says he’s leaving and she freaks.

Hayden and Nicholas are going at it. For someone who was in a lot of pain a few minutes ago, he seems to be doing pretty well.

Tracy is back to her massage and feels more relaxed after the phone call.

Dr. Sheinberg and Veronica see Jason at the MetroCourt and the doctor tells him they’re going to the authorities tomorrow to clear his name. Veronica tells Jason not to thank them, but to thank his wife. Dr Sheinberg says he’s a lucky man.

Sam knocks on the door to Jason’s suite and Elizabeth answers. I’d love to wipe the stupid smirk off her face.

The desk cop shows Dante pictures of Valerie taking money from Johnny and also of them in a car together.

Johnny says it’s bad business to leave witnesses. He says luckily there’s gasoline so he can make a clean getaway. Valerie totally freaks.

Lulu says if she and Dante were together, she never would have considered helping Johnny, so it’s all Valerie’s fault. Laura says that’s a bit of a stretch and I have to agree. Laura goes to tend to Rocco, and Lulu gets the message about Johnny’s bag.

Valerie tries desperately to get out of Johnny’s Boy Scout knots and knocks over a candle.

Tomorrow, Elizabeth gives Sam the wrong impression and it looks like Lulu might be the one to save Valerie.

MasterChef Junior

Down to six. The kids have to cater a lunch at Gordon’s place for culinary world luminaries. Whatever that means to you. They’ll be working in two teams of three each. My girl, Addy, is one of the team captains.

Of course Gordon has a fabulous property, but the best thing about it is his little French bulldog, King George. Gordon gets a headache pretty early on. These kids crack me up though. So sophisticated one minute, and the next, claiming they don’t know what to do because they’re only in elementary school. When I was in elementary school, I was lucky I could make peanut butter on toast.

This is great! I finally know how you say gnocchi.

Holy! One of the kids spills a hot pan full of venison and butter onto Gordon’s leg and into his shoe. He handles it a million times better than I would. I didn’t hear one bleep.

The red team wins and Addy is the only one from the blue team who is safe. My money is totally on her. The two going home take it extremely well and they have a lot to be proud of. One is twelve and one is eight, and they’re cooking 3 Michelin star meals. I can’t even imagine how much they’ll accomplish by the time they’re grown-ups.

Hell’s Kitchen

I always love how they do the opening titles. This season, the chefs are trekking through snowy mountains. The show itself is stationed in Las Vegas this time around.

With way too many contestants and it being too early to care about any of them, the first challenge is making a signature dish. There’s an audience, which is weird and I’m not so sure I like it. We learn a little about the contestants as Gordon tastes the dishes. Nope. Don’t like the audience. Whether it’s enhanced or natural, their reactions to Gordon’s critiques are too loud. He gives each dish 1-5 points.

The men get slightly more points, so they get to have fun, while the women get to peel 50 pounds of shrimp and 1000 pounds of potatoes for a buffet. Woohoo. Welcome to Vegas.

During the first Hell’s Kitchen dinner presentation, some chick named Vanessa is wigging out. She says she’s on the app station where most people die. I’m not sure if she means die as in fail, or a lot of accidents happen there. She can’t seem to make the pizza appetizer without burning it. My first job was making pizzas, so this is something I can actually do. It’s probably the first time I’m saying that in the history of my watching chef competitions. The men can’t cook a pizza either, so I’m extra stoked.

Uh-oh. Risotto is involved. That never goes well. You can tell who’s going to be leaving quickly by the way they react to the first scolding from Gordon.

The men’s blue team totally screws up and Gordon kicks their sorry asses out of the kitchen completely. I guess that means they lost this round. Deer-caught-in-the-headlights guy goes home.

Next week, the chefs drink too much and are hung over. There are also Sumo wrestlers.

The People’s Couch

I don’t really recap this, but it’s one of my favorite shows. This season they’ve added The Haves and the Have Nots to the mix, and I’m excited about that. I’m really glad this show has done well. What makes it so much fun is that they’re having fun.

I can’t say I ever thought I’d be watching a show about watching people watching TV.

It also gives me the quotes of the week:

Oh my God, I wanna drive through a house. Julie referring to a scene in The Haves and the Have Nots.

There’s always one drunk on every show. Teddi while watching The Bachelor.

Jan15

January 14, 2016 — Crimson Success & Oscar Snubs

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Nina keeps bugging Julian on his cell phone. He thinks the magazine is going to tank, but I think he has another think coming. Especially since everyone is walking around the MetroCourt with a copy and he’s like, wha…?

Robert and Mac are having drinks. Mac asks Robert to stick around for a while. Robert is hesitant.

Jordan and Anna check out Sabrrrina’s place. They don’t see anything disturbed. Anna thinks maybe Sabrrrina booked with Carrrlos. Now this makes total sense why she didn’t take a bag. The doorknob starts jiggling, and they draw their guns. Um…Felix lives there too, yo.

Maxie tells Nathan he’s right, that Johnny contacted her and she saw him.

Dante calls Olivia and tells her Rocco is sick, so he won’t be visiting.

Johnny gets into Valerie’s car. She tells him he can pay her back for the ride by helping her go through her exam questions. He texts his “friends” to tell them he’ll be late, but he’s really texting Lulu to say Operation V is a go and Valerie will be out of Lulu’s life tomorrow.

Michael comes into Sabrrrina’s apartment and he’s like, whoa, don’t shoot. Anna and Jordan explain why they’re there. Anna says Sabrrrina told her about the baby. Michael says he came there earlier to tell her he made a mistake, but she’s gone.

Robert says he has too much responsibility to the WSB to stay put, and now that Robin is gone, he has no ties to Port Charles. Mac says he should make it his home turf. He says Robert still has ties there, Anna being one. Robert scoffs at that, saying Anna would like to see him gone, but Mac says he’s not so sure about that.

Julian tells Alexis it looks like the magazine is going to make money. Told ya.

Nathan brings Dante into the conversation with Maxie. She says Johnny showed up at the apartment. Dante asks if Lulu was there and she says no, and she got rid of Johnny immediately.

Olivia shows up at Maxie’s where Lulu is staying. Olivia says Dante told her Rocco was sick and Lulu asks if she was checking to see if it’s the truth. Olivia says only a little bit. They talk about Valerie. Olivia tells Lulu about their conversation. She says Valerie isn’t the only one who’s made mistakes and maybe it’s time to stop putting all the blame there and start working on her and Dante.

Johnny gives Valerie directions to the restaurant he’s supposed to meet his friends at. Valerie says she loves to cook and Johnny gives her a million compliments. Her police scanner says something about a heist at a liquor store. Johnny says he thought she was just a cadet, and Valerie says she likes being prepared.

Maxie says she didn’t help Johnny or tell him anything. Dante asks if he knew Lulu was living there, and Maxie says she didn’t tell him. Nathan asks if Lulu would have said something if she’d seen him, since she was just there.

Valerie says she likes to keep up to speed with what’s going on and tells Johnny she’s totally focused on her career. She also tells him a little about the fling with Dante without naming names.

Lulu says she thought Olivia was on her side. She says everything was fine until Valerie came along. Olivia says Valerie just wanted to know her family. Lulu says Valerie skipped all the family members and just went straight for Dante and also became a police cadet to be close to him. Olivia says it’s Dante’s fault too and adds that Lulu shouldn’t have lied about being with Dillon. She says Valerie took advantage, but if there was nothing wrong to begin with, it wouldn’t have happened.

Michael says he checked with Sabrrrina’s family in Puerto Rico, but no one has heard from her. He says he came back to shake Felix down some more. With soap opera timing, Felix walks in. Jordan and Anna tell him why they came over. Felix says he knows where Sabrrrina is.

Anna says she isn’t in any trouble, but she wants to talk to Sabrrrina. Felix says that she’s at a cousin’s house in Puerto Rico. Anna says that might just be a cover story.

Mac tells Robert the world needs heroes who will drop everything at a moment’s notice to fight the bad guys, but that heroes come in all shapes and sizes. He says dads are heroes too. Robert asks if Mac wants him to stay as punishment for being a deadbeat dad. Mac tells him he’s being thick, and that there are other people who need him. He says Anna is struggling right now and needs his help.

Julian says that if the IRS sees that his legitimate business is making money, they’ll look closer at him. He says the government was never able to nail him for other reasons, and he might go the way of Al Capone.

Lulu tells Olivia she’s wrong. Olivia says if Valerie was gone, it wouldn’t make everything all right again. Lulu says it would give them a chance, especially since Valerie is related to half the town, which puts Lulu at a disadvantage. Olivia says their problems are bigger than just Valerie, and she and Dante need to sit down and talk. She says if Lulu could take the focus off of Valerie, they could work on the real problems.

Maxie says that Johnny told her he just needed a breather from running. Nathan and Dante seem to believe her, but they need an official statement. They also want to put out an APB on Johnny.

Valerie asks if Johnny is single. He says he’s flying solo, and she asks if their chance meetings were really coincidental. He says yes, and that after she drops him off, she’ll probably never see him again because Port Charles isn’t for him. With more soap opera timing, the scanner says the police are looking for Johnny.

Alexis says that as Julian’s attorney, she’s not going to let anyone put him away. He says he thought putting Nina in charge of Crimson would give him a huge write off, but she seems to be making it work. Alexis says it’s probably a fluke.

The scanner describes Johnny, who sounds like – yep, Valerie said it – half the population of Port Charles. She asks if Johnny is really leaving town. He says he’s also involved with someone who’s emotionally unavailable.

Maxie calls Lulu and tells her what happened. She says she didn’t tell them anything about Lulu’s involvement and that she told them Johnny showed up at her apartment when Lulu wasn’t there. She says she’s sorry, but Lulu tells her she’s not mad. There’s a knock at the door. Lulu thinks it must be Dante and Maxie asks her to please tell Dante the truth.

Sure enough, it’s Dante at the door. Lulu asks if he’s there to check out if Rocco is really sick. He tells her Johnny is back in town.

Jordan gets off the phone and tells Felix that Sabrrrina’s family hasn’t heard from her. Felix says if she’s not with her family, where is she? Michael says she shouldn’t be alone so close to her due date.

Mac tells Robert about the Carrrlos situation and how Paul is trying to manipulate Anna. Robert asks how much danger Mac thinks she’s in. Mac says as long as it stays as it is, not much, but he’s concerned that Anna isn’t thinking clearly.

Olivia brings a bottle of champagne to Julian and Alexis’s table at the MetroCourt. She says she wants to congratulate them properly. She says she appreciates that Alexis being gracious about her being part of the family and she wants to throw them an engagement party.

Johnny goes through the exam questions with Valerie. She asks where the restaurant is, since this seems to be out in the middle of nowhere. He says it’s not too much further and that it’s off the beaten path.

Dante asks Lulu if she’s seen or heard from Johnny, and to please tell the truth. Lulu asks if she should tell him the truth the way he told her the truth? Oh, snap! He says Johnny is a murderer, and Lulu counters with Johnny would never hurt her. Dante asks her to think about it and if she comes up with anything to let him know.

Mac has to leave. Robert is staying for another drink. Mac asks him to think about staying. And leaves him with the check.

Julian thanks Olivia. When Alexis says thanks, Olivia says she’s the only person who can make a thank you sound like a dismissal. Apparently she never met Helena. Olivia flounces off.

Anna sees Robert at the bar. She tells him she needs someone with international connections and says he should stick around. Robert says he’s all hers.

Michael tells Felix he should have realized that Sabrrrina was just scared and now it’s too late. Felix says not to worry, that Anna and Jordan will handle it.

Maxie tells Nathan she’s done giving her statement. Nathan says he appreciates her telling him the truth.

Dante says he doesn’t like that Lulu is there alone with Rocco, especially since Johnny stopped by. She says she appreciates that, but he shouldn’t worry and she’ll let him know if anything happens. After he leaves, Lulu texts Johnny to call off the plans and tells him to leave town immediately. Johnny tells Valerie to drop him off and he’ll walk the rest of the way. They wish each other good luck. Johnny says maybe they’ll run into each other sometime.

He gets out of the car, but suddenly appears at the driver’s side. He yanks open the door, telling Valerie she’s made a huge mistake. Then he howls at the moon.

Tomorrow, Tracy is the voice of doom, Johnny has Valerie all tied up (literally) and Sam tells someone they’re her only hope. Is it Obi Wan Kenobi?

Oscar Thoughts

I just heard there’s some big backlash over the Oscar nominations. Believe it or not, I rarely pay attention to the Academy Awards. I used to watch them every year, but now I rarely do. In 1985, both Bill Hickey (Prizzi’s Honor) and Bill Hurt (Kiss of the Spider Woman) were up for awards. I’d known Bill Hickey as a teacher for many years and had worked at a theatre where Bill Hurt was appearing in a play and was acquainted with him.

Bill Hickey lost out to Don Ameche in Cocoon, but Bill Hurt won. It was all downhill for me from there. I’m not likely to have even seen all the films nominated, much less know anyone in them. Face it; it’s like a wedding shower. It’s not that exciting if it’s not you. And that’s the closest I’ll ever get to it being me. Or to it actually being exciting.

BTW, Bill Hickey said he wasn’t going to the awards ceremony unless he could bring his dog. I didn’t see the dog in the audience, so I guess Bill relented. I’ll bet he wasn’t wearing socks though.

Anyway, the newspeople were saying something about Oscar snubs and I thought,  there are probably hundreds of performances that will never see the Oscar light of day and are a million times better than any of the nominations. So to those who were “snubbed,” just be grateful you made a movie that people saw.

** Important information: The People’s Couch begins this Friday, January 15 at 10 pm.

Jan13

January 12, 2016 — GH, BH, Havings & Nots

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Sonny has a bad dream and wakes up to Morgan, another bad dream.

Paul gets a cash delivery at the docks.

Ava is at the MetroCourt and since Kiki is the only waitress there, she has to wait on her.

Dr. Andre gives Jordan a carved jaguar which he says is a symbol of power.

Michael runs into Sabrrrina at Kelly’s. He asks how she is and tells her to let him know if she needs anything. She says it isn’t right for them to act like they’re strangers. Although no stranger has ever offered to provide anything I needed.

Michael says he’ll keep his distance since he doesn’t want to cause Sabrrrina stress. Because that’s the only other alternative. She says that’s not what she means, that she hates the wall between them. He says he wishes he felt differently, but he doesn’t. Ugh! Get rid of this guy already. Michael leaves and Sabrrrina sits down with Anna.

In his dream, Sonny was able to save people and he interprets this to mean that he can handle whatever comes his way. Morgan wants to help with the business. Sonny says if he wants to help to stay on his meds and see his shrink.

Paul says since the first shipment went smoothly, should he expect more? Dude says he’ll keep in touch.

Kiki sits with Ava. Kiki says she can’t sit and chat every time Ava comes in and ignore the other customers. Kiki says she’s grateful that Ava let her take Avery to Sonny’s on Christmas, but it doesn’t wipe the slate clean of all the bad stuff between them. Ava says she doesn’t see the point in rehashing everything. Kiki doesn’t respond well, but then says she’ll set up boundaries so they can have some sort of relationship.

Jordan says she’s suitably impressed. She and Andre make cute small talk and Andre asks her out on a date. She says yes, and he says he’ll call her later.

Morgan says he wants to make sure Sonny is protected, because Sonny was born yesterday and just started in the “coffee” business. Sonny asks how it’s going with the meds, and Morgan says it’s become more manageable, but he doesn’t really like the way they make him feel. Sonny says his doctor will help him find the right balance. Morgan asks how Sonny feels about taking his meds and Sonny says most of the time it’s okay.

Michael comes in and Morgan acts a little snotty and leaves. Sonny asks how Sabrrrina is, and Michael says she misses how they used to be. He says he misses what he imagined things were going to be, but it wasn’t based on anything real. Sonny asks if he’s sure about that.

Sabrrrina says she’s happy everything worked out for Patrick, Anna and Robin. Anna says she noticed the tension between Sabrrrina and Michael. Sabrrrina explains they broke up because Michael isn’t the baby’s father. Anna asks if the father is going to be in her life. She probably has a pretty good idea that it’s Carrrlos.

Ava asks what kind of boundaries Kiki wants. Kiki says if she wants to see her and Avery, she’ll text her, and it should be vice versa. She adds that if it’s a no on Ava’s part, she won’t take it personally, but Ava has to do the same. Ava asks if she wants to go shopping. Kiki gets a text from Morgan and says no. Ava asks what’s up and Kiki says another boundary is not discussing Morgan.

Paul, who’s been having a drink at the bar, sits at Ava’s table. He says she’s going to be happy when she sees what he brought and sets down the briefcase with the money.

Dr. Andre says if Morgan doesn’t take the pills on time, they can’t tell what works properly. He asks if Morgan has been drinking and Morgan says he had like half a beer on New Year’s Eve. Andre chastises him and Morgan says he has a good friend he can turn to. He adds that he doesn’t know where he fits in with his family.

Michael says he can’t get over Sabrrrina lying. Sonny says he knows how Sabrrrina feels because he loves Michael and lied to him as well.  He says Michael shouldn’t be angry with Sabrrrina, and Michael says it’s more like he’s angry with Carrrlos. Sonny tells him Carrrlos is dead and he should bury his anger with him.

Sabrrrina says the baby’s father doesn’t factor in to her situation. She says she loved Michael and wanted to raise the baby with him, so she lied. She says that Michael would have loved the baby regardless, but she couldn’t trust him enough to be honest, so things went sour. Anna prods a little and Sabrrrina admits Carrrlos is the father.

Anna asks if Carrrlos assaulted her. Sabrrrina says no, that he was her first love, and she knows another side to him. She says they spent the night together and she realized her mistake. Later, after she got together with Michael and realized she was pregnant, she hoped it was Michael’s and fooled herself until she had the sonogram. Anna says she understands knowing another side of Carrrlos, and it’s too bad he died before he knew he was a father. Sabrrrina nearly knocks over some tea.

Sonny asks Michael if he can’t understand why Sabrrrina lied when she knew how much he hated Carrrlos.

Andre tells Morgan that there are plenty of bi-polar people who are successful and creative. He says stability is everything, and Morgan has to remind himself to stay away from alcohol and take his meds. Morgan says he wanted to do more with his life than just stay stable. Just wait until you’re a little older, Morgan. You’ll be happy if you can just accomplish stability.

Ava says Paul just gave her a suitcase full of dirty money in a very public place when they’re supposed to be on the down low. Paul says they can pretend it’s an art transaction. Paul tells her about Tracy giving him the heave-ho and he’s living in the hotel now. Ava asks if she gets a key to his room.

Michael says that Sabrrrina doesn’t know him well if she thought he wouldn’t love the baby because of Carrrlos. Sonny says she made a mistake, but Michael has another chance to correct it now.

Anna says something about Duke and Sabrrrina says she’s sorry Carrrlos took Duke away. Anna says Carrrlos paid for it in a roundabout way, but now Sabrrrina has to bear the brunt of everything. She tells Sabrrrina If she ever needs anything, to let her know. She says the best advice she can give is to do what’s right for the baby.

Outside Kelly’s Anna calls Jordan and says she’s coming over because there might be a break in the Carrrlos case.

Michael says he wanted to do something special for his family. Andre says if he could do anything for Sonny, what would it be? Morgan says to run the business, but Sonny says he doesn’t want the kids involved even if he needs him. Andre asks how Morgan can be the person his family can count on? Morgan has to admit that staying stable would be the answer. Morgan says Sonny wants to walk more for his family than himself, and Andre says Morgan should look to Sonny as an example.

Paul says for now they have to keep things strictly business because Tracy is vindictive. He tells Ava there will be another shipment coming in. He leaves and Kiki asks what Paul wanted.

Michael says it’s different now and he doesn’t know if it can work. Sonny says he should think with his heart and not his head, and ask himself what’s going to make him happy.

Sabrrrina leaves Kelly’s and calls Carrrlos, leaving a message for him to call her right away.

Anna tells Jordan about what Sabrrrina told her. She says when she mentioned Carrrlos’s death, Sabrrrina practically freaked out. She thinks that Sabrrrina knows Carrrlos isn’t dead. Anna suggests they monitor her phone calls.

Ava tells Kiki that Paul is an art collector, but to keep it under wraps because that’s how art collectors are. Really? Morgan butts in, asking if Ava is bothering Kiki. Ava says no. Morgan says thanks for bringing Avery by on Christmas. Ava says maybe they can all act civilized for once and Morgan says anything can happen.

Morgan and Kiki talk on the side and he says he’s feeling better.

Some guy (Raj?) comes up to Ava and says that he saw Morgan on the pier on New Year’s and he seemed too interested in what’s going on.

Tomorrow, Carrrlos is still in Port Charles, Valerie acts like an ass to Olivia, and someone (Johnny?) sneaks up on Lulu.

The Haves and The Have Nots

Candace and Jeffrey have the police knocking at their door, while Quincy’s dead body is still lying there. Candace says she’ll handle things. Jeffrey wants to get the body off the floor first, but Candace answers the door. Luckily, she’s in a towel, which is pretty distracting for the officer, who asks her to put some clothes on.

She puts on her robe and asks what the problem is. The officer says they got a call from a neighbor. He says frankly she calls them a lot, but they have to come when she does. He says the car across the street (Quincy’s car) needs to be parked in front of her place due to homeowner association rules. He asks her to move the car asap, or the neighbor will be calling them all night.

Candace tells Jeffrey they need to find Quincy’s keys. He says he can’t do it. What a wimp this dude turned out to be. Candace says if she doesn’t move the car, the officer is going to come in. Jeffrey starts to cy and I want to slap him silly. Candace says she’ll get the keys, but then he has to move the car. He says he can handle that much. Candace rifles through Quincy’s pockets. She finds the keys and useless Jeffrey is freaking out. She tells him he has to be cool and The Jets Song from West Side Story plays in my head.

Jeffrey takes the keys and barely shuffles to the door. Come on, dude, grow a pair. Jeffrey heads to the car. The officer asks if Jeffrey is her boyfriend and she says he’s just a friend. A friend who is obviously having a problem. The officer asks Candace way too many questions and seems to know way too much about Candace. It turns out the nosey neighbor has clued him in and she’s also the officer’s mother.

Jeffrey seems to have a problem starting the car and barely gets it across the street, but then drives away. The officer asks if he’s okay and if he’s been drinking. Candace says he’s just tired. When the officer offers to help, she says he’s been having problems with his mother because he’s gay, and it’s better if he doesn’t. Candace distracts him with a bunch of nonsense and flirting. It doesn’t seem like he’s buying it though. And I have no clue where Jeffrey went with the car.

Nosey mom comes out and asks where the “other guy” is and tells the officer that Candace has had four guys visiting since she moved in. What a scandal! Since the officer is probably used to this, he just leaves.

Quincy’s sister, the woman who was trying to call him, is looking for him. She asks a group of guys hanging out on the street if they’ve seen him, but no one has. The group hears about the arrests regarding the car cover up. One of the guys talks about killing the lawyer, although I don’t know how this bunch of strangers suddenly got involved, and I don’t know if he means Jennifer the DA, Veronica, Candace or what.

Benny comes over to the hotel to see Hanna. He says she can’t stay there forever and asks her to come home. She says her home burned down and she doesn’t want to talk about it. She tells Benny to go home, but he says he has something to say. He says no one loves her like he does, and he didn’t tell her the truth because he wanted to protect her. Hanna says he can’t protect her with a lie. He says she didn’t tell him who his father was to protect him. That’s right. It’s always different when it’s you.

He tries to talk about Candace, but Hanna doesn’t want to hear it. He says he never wanted Hanna in harm’s way. Hanna says she’s not going back to the house until she knows where Candace got the money. Benny says he’ll find out, but Hanna says Candace will just tell him another lie, so she wants to be there. She asks him to leave and he says he’ll come back later to talk. She says she loves him, but she’s still mad at him.

Kathryn tells Veronica she’s never been locked up before. She says Jim was sure he could scare their son straight, but instead it backfired. She doesn’t know what happened to make him this angry. Veronica says prison is pretty rough. Kathryn asks if there’s rape by other inmates. When Veronica says yes, she says she thought the guards are supposed to prevent that, and wonders if that’s what happened to Wyatt. She talks about a time at camp when he came home angry and she knew something was wrong. She says she’s going to discuss it with Jim, who let their daughter die, and if she finds out anything happened to Wyatt, God help Jim.

Kathryn says her father was a ruthless man and she takes after him. She says that if she finds out anything happened, there will be no escaping her wrath, just like she handled the camp incident. Veronica suggests she just let it go, that Jim is going through enough rightnow. Kathryn wonders why she cares all of a sudden.

Back at the Cryer house, Wyatt is having one helluva party all by his lonesome. Guzzling alcohol, playing loud music and air guitar in his underwear. Jeffrey calls. Wyatt says he and the DA have been trying to reach him. When Jeffrey asks what he’s talking about, Wyatt reminds him about the immunity deal. Jeffrey wants to come over, but Wyatt says he’s expecting company. Wyatt asks if Jeffrey’s been drinking and he says he has, and he’s coming over. I don’t see any company, and if somebody’s coming, Wyatt is going to be passed out by the time they get there.

The DA visits Jim and David’s cell. Jim gripes about not being allowed a phone call. Jennifer asks to see David and David says he doesn’t want to cut a deal. Jennifer says he doesn’t even know what it is and he says, yes he does. David has to choice but to go with her.

David and Jennifer sit in the interrogation room. Jennifer says Jim is going down, and asks if David is willing to crash and burn with him. She says she misses him and I go, what? Jennifer offers him immunity for testifying against Jim. David wants immunity for Veronica too. Jennifer says she hates Veronica and was tempted to tell her. Tell her what?! David says too bad, and Jennifer says okay, Veronica can walk too. Jennifer says David is loyal to a fault. She talks about the night of the fire and how she knows Veronica tried to kill him. And she says that she still loves him. Holy Christmas! She’s suddenly all over him like an animal. (He’s in handcuffs BTW.) Man, this show never ceases to startle me. He’s like, woman, get a grip and she finally gets off of him. She tells him to take the deal. David says no and she says she has no choice then. She calls an officer to bring David back to his cell. Wow.

David goes back to the cell and Jim asks what the deal was. David tells him and he asks why David didn’t take the deal. David says that’s not what friends do. Jim says Veronica tried to destroy Kathryn, although I’m not sure what he means by that unless it’s because of what she had done to Wyatt in prison. David says he’s done a lot for Jim and Jim calms down a little, realizing that David is his friend. David asks if he’s going to try to get even. Jim says not this time because David stood by him. He asks David to promise him that he’ll punish Veronica in some way. He says it would be better coming from David because he loves Veronica and it will be fair and if he does it, there will be no love. He says sometimes you have to punish people you love and I think he’s confusing this word with discipline or maybe he’s just nuts. David says he won’t do it and Jim says he’ll extend the olive branch one more time.

The same officer who was at Candace’s pulls Jeffrey over and asks  for the license and registration. Jeffrey says he doesn’t have it and that it’s a friend’s car. The officer asks him to step out of the car and asks if he’s been drinking. Jeffrey says no, but the cop can smell it. He says he can also smell a burned out clutch. He makes Jeffrey do the finger to nose test and he fails miserably. Then, because it’s not bad enough, the officer notices blood on Jeffrey’s shirt. He puts Jeffrey in the back of the squad car.

But Candace’s evening is no better. She has Quincy’s body to deal with by herself. Not that Jeffrey was any help. Note to self: Do not commit a crime with Jeffrey as an accomplice.

When Candace turns her back, Quincy grabs her ankle.

A lot happens next week too. I need to recover from this week now.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Giggy! Okay, it was the intro reel from last week’s episode, but it’s still a gratuitous Giggy shot and I love him.

It’s dinner hour at the Bella Magazine party. LisaV says she’s very flattered about being on the cover of a magazine at her age. LisaV and LisaR discuss a couple they knew for a long time who suddenly divorced. Prophetic of Yolanda and David. LisaV asks Eileen a bunch of questions about how she met her third (and hopefully final) husband, Vince. It sounds like an interview for Soap Opera Digest, and it’s making Eileen uncomfortable. I can understand both sides. In her individual interview, LisaR says that whether she knows it or not, LisaV is being insensitive. I have to side with her on that, but Eileen should just say something. Kyle toasts the magazine cover.

Bethenny calls Kyle; they’ve been friends for a long time. They make plans to meet.

The ladies have a wine tasting scheduled. Giggy! Ken looks hung over.

Giggy is coming to the wine tasting and I’m thrilled. Eileen says she still feels uncomfortable, which is too bad because they’re all in the same limo and it’s not that big. The vineyard is gorgeous and they go to an outside, covered table.

LisaR is curious to meet Erika after googling a video she made. LisaV says she’s being a prude. LisaR says she doesn’t want to meet Erika and think of her behind up in the air. Everyone watches the video on LisaR’s phone. Even though LisaR hit the nail on the head by saying it’s just a performance, it still makes her uncomfortable somehow. Geez. It could be a lot worse. A lot. Bees join the party, and some of the girls take off running.

Kyle is going to Bethenny’s early and the others are meeting her there. Erika arrives. She says she’s tired (she just flew in from performing in Chicago at Gay Pride – we get a glimpse), but she’s ready to rock and roll. Eileen says they watched her Painkillr video, and she explains it’s a character. She has to explain this to adults? And BTW, LisaR has posed for Playboy, even though she’s all weird about this. Kyle leaves for Bethenny’s. Erika says being with the Beverly Hills wives is a lot different than being amongst the gays. Is this something else you have to explain to adults?

Erika says she spoke to Yolanda, and tells the ladies about Yolanda’s surgery. She says this might be the key to Yolanda’s illness and I agree 100%.

David is playing nurse and pretends to care. LisaV calls. She’s on speaker and Yolanda tells her how things went.  David jokes that Ken’s breasts are bigger and I don’t laugh even a little bit. Lisa wishes her well and says she hopes that this is the answer. Yolanda says she’s not coughing for the first time in years, so her immune system has improved. How healthy can you be with silicone floating around in you?

Kyle gets to Bethenny’s place, which is of course fabulous. There’s even a separate beach house with a bar that she redesigned with reclaimed wood. It’s amazing how Bethenny took herself from nothing to a skabillionaire. She asks Kyle about Kim, and Kyle says people can pry too much and be judgmental. Kyle starts to tear up, saying that her mom wanted them to stick together, but it’s not always easy. Kyle says she doesn’t feel weird about Bethenny asking her questions because she’s known her and Kim for so long. They go over some old times.

Kyle tells her about Erika and her husband. Then shows her the video. Ha-ha! Bethenny’s reaction is priceless. Bethenny says that’s a lot of upkeep. Kyle says it’s Erica’s alter-ego.

The ladies pick up LisaV and Ken on their way to Bethenny’s. Giggy! Both Lisas have met Bethenny before. Bethenny has cocktails ready. Bethenny says she’s jealous of Erika’s alter-ego and Erika says not many people get to live two lives. Ken makes himself scarce and I don’t blame him.

Erika goes to the bathroom and Bethenny says she likes Erika, but makes rude jokes while she’s gone, which Eileen isn’t thrilled about. The ladies sit down to lunch and go over more old times. They’re amazed at time flying. Welcome to the club.

They talk about Erika’s video like she’s not there. Bethenny starts talking branding. Suddenly LisaR isn’t feeling well, like seriously nauseous, and says she’s calling it a day. It sounds like she might have food poisoning. They play the video for Bethenny. She says she doesn’t like the production value and goes on about every detail. Erika says everyone’s entitled to their opinion, but she doesn’t agree. LisaV says Bethenny has good advice but needs to sweeten her delivery. They discuss the whole alter-ego thing. In her individual interview, Kyle says Bethenny often gives unsolicited advice. I like Bethenny, but both ladies are sooo right. Erika says she doesn’t know anything about margaritas or being skinny, and doesn’t tell Bethenny how to do her Skinny Girl gig.

Erika gives Bethenny a dance lesson. Okay. Bethenny rips her pants and Erika says it’s not as easy as it looks and that’s what Bethenny gets. Ah-ha! in Nelson voice.

The next day LisaR and Eileen get together. Eileen talks about how LisaV grilled her and how uncomfortable it made her. Giggy! The other ladies and Ken are on their way to meet them. Eileen says LisaV isn’t stupid and she can’t figure out why she would do that. I do think she was just genuinely interested, and Eileen should have said something. But in lieu of that, I agree with LisaR saying Eileen needs to talk to her.

In her individual interview, Erika says LisaV is the self-appointed leader and enjoys making people feel uncomfortable. I think she’s just nosy and if you assert yourself, she’ll back off.  They get to the house and Erika talks about Bethenny’s comments. She wonders if Bethenny is being a bitch or being jealous.

Eileen asks LisaV for an aside talk. She says maybe she’s being over-sensitive, but when Lisa asked her about Vince, it made her uneasy. She brings up when Brandi called her a home wrecker. Lisa says she’s nothing like Brandi and Eileen should have said something. (What did I say?) Lisa says she apologizes if she asked too many questions, but Eileen should never answer what she doesn’t want to. Eileen says she’ll do that next time, but she feels like Lisa turned things around on her.

Next time, Bethenny apologizes to Erika, Eileen tells a sad story, and Yolanda comes home.

Jan12

January 11, 2016 — GH, 10 Little Chefs & the Scent of a Stassi

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Elizabeth says someone must have broken in, since the picture was fine when she went upstairs.

Maxie freaks after seeing Johnny. She says she’s going to get the police, but Johnny stops her.

Sonny sees Lucas at the hospital and asks if he can be Sonny’s new doctor, but Lucas says no can do.

Nicholas says the lawsuit is going to be a real pita. Hayden says she’s got an idea to prevent that, and asks him to marry her. She says it will protect ELQ. I can’t wait to hear the logic for this.

Sam is moving back to the apartment and tells Alexis that she and Julian will finally get some privacy. Kristina looks at a letter saying she’s on academic suspension because her grades totally blow. Alexis startles her, so she eats the letter. Not really. Just seeing if you’re paying attention.

Kristina stashes the letter and talks nonsense about how great Alexis and Julian’s privacy will be when everyone leaves. Kristina makes up some story about why her classes aren’t starting next Monday. When Alexis asks just when they’re going to start, Sam saves the day by walking in and diverting attention. Kristina asks Sam what’s going on and Sam says Jason remembered kissing her.

Jake pops downstairs and asks if “the bad man” broke the picture frame. How old is he supposed to be? He certainly looks older than a kid who would use the phrase “the bad man.” And he spent his formative years with Helena. You’d think he’d be reciting Shakespeare. Jason tells him everything is going to be okay and he says he agrees because his dad is here now.

Nicholas says the court case will hurt the Quartermaines as much as it will hurt him. Hayden says she saw it happen all the time when she worked in finance, that most of the time, companies were hit the hardest in a lawsuit among the individuals in them. She says the Qs might pull a Medea and destroy ELQ entirely. Her bright idea is to get married and put some of the shares in her name. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! She’s good.

Lucas recommends Dr. Maze, who is highly skilled, but doesn’t have e a great bedside manner. How convenient – here he comes! Nathan introduces Dr Maze to Sonny and Carly, but he says he just needs to meet the patient. Sonny isn’t too happy about that.

Johnny has Maxie’s phone. Lulu reminds Maxie of the time she helped Johnny out, and they go down Memory Lane to get everyone up to speed. Maxie asks where he’s been all this time. Johnny says no one has really been looking for him and that it’s a cold case. While Maxie distracts him with this question, she grabs her phone back and says she owes it to Nathan to call him.

Johnny asks Maxie to give him the phone. She says Nathan has been working a super secret case and maybe it’s him. He says hardly, and I tend to think he’s telling the truth. Lulu interjects that she would be in trouble too. Maxie says she can lie and Lulu says she won’t.  Maxie sees some flowers and asks where they came from. When Johnny says from him, she jumps to the conclusion that Lulu and Johnny are sleeping together because that’s a sure sign of it.

Dr. Maze is certainly abrupt. He says he’s not a family doctor so he doesn’t have to be nice. He reminds me of some doctors I’ve worked with. Sonny says he’s had movement in his legs and Carly says how great that is, but already obviously a wet blanket Dr. Maze says he’ll decide if it’s great after he examines Sonny.

Kristina suggests maybe his environment helped jog Jason’s memory. Sam says they were in his apartment, and Alexis asks if they’re moving in together and looks like she’s about to panic. Sam says no, Jason just said she and Danny could live there. Sam says something about Kristina studying law, and Alexis gets all excited. When she has to answer the phone, Kristina tells Sam to let her tell Alexis about her plans.

Elizabeth acts all weird, saying it’s her fault that Jake is a loony toon. Jason tells her to get a grip and the police knock on the door. He suggests maybe they can figure it out.

Hayden says that when it’s all over, she’ll give Nicolas back the shares. Nicholas says it’s his and Spencer’s future and he’s not letting it go. Hayden says he won’t have to if he marries her. He counters with what if she’s up to no good?

Sonny says the doctor doesn’t get to tell him whether his wife can be involved with his treatment. He says he wouldn’t be where he was today if it wasn’t for Carly. That probably wasn’t the best way to put it, considering where he is today. Dr. Maze says he’s the only doctor on staff who can treat him. And there are no other hospitals anywhere in the world.

Alexis says it was Diane on the phone and she’s going to take a trip with Max. Sonny’s Max? Are they an item? Alexis says Diane wants her to take over Jason’s case while she’s gone. Alexis says it’s going to be rough because both Nicholas and Hayden are saying the same thing, that Jason deliberately pushed Nicholas over the balcony.

The police tell Elizabeth that since it’s the second incident, they’ll send in CSI to take fingerprints. Jason has to tell them that he has a record and he’s out on bail now. He says he had nothing to do with what’s going on here, and the way Elizabeth jumps to second that, if I didn’t know better, I’d think he did. The police ask if he has any enemies. How much time do they have?

Hayden says trust is trust, but Nicholas says trusting emotionally and financially are two different things. He says that she was a shark once before, and he’s not willing to take the risk. She suggests a pre-nup.

Sam says it was an accident. Alexis says Sam wasn’t there, but Hayden was . Alexis says she’s surprised Jason even got out on bail. Sam says someone else must be in their corner and she’s going to find out who else might have seen the fight. Isn’t that something Alexis should be pursuing? Like right now?

Dr. Maze says he wants to focus on the patient, not field questions and feelings from their loved ones. Sonny says too bad. Carly takes him aside and says it’s fine with her that she wants Sonny to concentrate on getting better and she has work to do anyway. Dr. Maze tells Sonny it’s really the best way and let’s get going.

Nicholas says Hayden lied to him for a long time, saying she’d lost her memory. Hayden says she thought they were past that. Nicholas says she does enjoy his money. Hayden says of course she does, but that she’s made money for other people and for herself and she’s seen it destroy families and love, and she doesn’t want to be part of that.

Jason says he didn’t see anything weird in the neighborhood. The officer asks him if he thinks there’s any connection to what he’s out on bail for. Jason says he doesn’t think the incidents are related. He asks if they can keep a patrol car outside, but the officer says they can’t exactly waste a man on that. Jason is like, oh come on, and the officer says he can’t promise anything, but he’ll see what he can do. When the police leave, Jason tells Elizabeth to pack up the boys and they’re spending the night somewhere else. Ah-ha! in Nelson voice. Elizabeth thought he was going to move in there. I’ll bet she gets around this somehow though.

Maxie says Johnny is who Lulu was with on New Year’s Eve, and how can she do this? Lulu says, to Dante? And Maxie says no, to her. How could she do this and not let her in on it? Lulu says she’s not sleeping with Johnny, but she was in the stateroom with him when Dante came by and Dante assumed she was sleeping with Dillon. Maxie says that things with Dante will be over if he finds out Johnny is there for whatever reason and he has to go.

Maxie says she’s not keeping another secret from Nathan. Johnny says she wasn’t directly involved, so it’s no big deal. Maxie says she and Lulu have to think about their children. Johnny asks how Georgie is and she tells him how Spinelli brought her to Port Charles for Christmas. Johnny says Spinelli is one of the good ones. Somehow, Johnny gets the phone again. They’re going to go back and forth like this until someone else, probably Dillon, walks in.

Dr. Maze says he’s the best doctor on earth. Sonny says he doesn’t care because he’s also an a-hole and to move along to his next patient. Lucas comes by and Sonny asks if he has a plan B. Because, even though they’re not far from NYC, they can’t travel to see any other doctor. Maybe Port Charles is like Brigadoon and they’re not allowed to leave.

Sam meets Carly at the MetroCourt and they discuss who might have been able to see the fight. Carly goes to get the guest list from that night.

Jake asks if it’s safe now and if the bad man is coming back. How come the police didn’t talk to him? Jason says they’re going to sleep somewhere else tonight and Jake asks if he’s coming. Elizabeth says no, and that he doesn’t have to because she’s a fake witch.

Nicholas says he believes Hayden, but he has a team of fabulous attorneys who will get him off the hook, so she doesn’t have to enter into a charade. Hayden says she really loves him and she thought her feelings mattered to him. Nicholas says they do. Hayden says they’re happier together than apart and isn’t’ that a good enough reason to get married.

Johnny says he wasn’t planning on staying long and he’ll be gone before Maxie knows it. She gets her phone back again and runs off. Johnny says she’s bluffing, but Lulu says she’s right about Dante. Johnny says she doesn’t deserve the way Dante treats her. Lulu says getting rid of Valerie is her only hope, but after they’re finished with that, Johnny has to leave.

Lucas phones another doctor for Sonny. Because no one has a car.

Alexis says she can’t believe Kristina is taking pre-law and didn’t tell her. She says she must have had a really tough semester. Alexis tells her that when she’s arguing in front of the Supreme Court, she’ll come and watch. Kristina looks guilty as all hell.

Nicholas says he thinks marriage would be a huge burden so early, and he doesn’t want to sacrifice what they have for ELQ. Hayden says she can’t believe he’s putting them before the business. He says that they should explore their relationship more and Hayden says cool.

Jason says he wants to set Elizabeth and the boys up at the MetroCourt. Elizabeth says thanks for looking out for them.

Carly asks Sam about Jason. She says it has to be hard on him because he doesn’t understand why they love him so much and he must feel pressured. Carly checks to see what guests had a view of the terrace that night. I guess we’re assuming these people were all at a window or balcony at just the right moment. Carly recognizes a name and says they would have had a perfect view, but they’re someone she knows would not want to get involved. Elvis is alive!

Tomorrow, Michael wants to get back with Sabrrrina, Anna thinks there’s a break in the Carrrlos case, and Morgan sees a shrink. That guy is going to have a field day.

MasterChef Junior

We’re down to ten contestants. Immediately starting with a Nickolodeon moment, Graham is dressed like a chicken and the kids have to crack eggs on his head to find out which team they’re on. I want to know how they got the coloring inside the eggs because these sure seem like real eggs. It’s a deviled egg challenge and Graham and Gordon are the third team. I would think they’d be automatic winners, but maybe not.

Graham and Gordon end up being the big losers, but needless to say, every single deviled egg made is better than any I would make.

The elimination challenge has the kids making their signature dish from their future cookbook. One kid says he’s been working on his signature dish since he was four. Another one talks about taking a cupcake to “the next level,” when I haven’t taken one to the first level. . I throw out everything in my kitchen except the microwave.

Uh-oh. The cupcake idea did not go over well as a signature dish. Because it’s a cupcake. At least she doesn’t cry. I would. The next mistake is infinitely worse. Raw chicken. Now that’s one thing I’ve never had a problem with. I cook the crap out of chicken because I’m so afraid it will come out raw.

My favorite and my pick for the win, Addy, barely squeaks by. The cupcake and the chicken go home. Raw chicken aside, these kids have every reason to be proud of themselves. The top ten in what’s essentially an adult competition is extraordinary.

The next challenge involves a mystery box put together by Christina’s mother. It’s a box of Christina’s favorite childhood foods. What these kids are going to do with Fruit Loops and chicken breasts is definitely a mystery to me. The kids also get to make a Skype call to their best friend for inspiration. I wonder who they pal around with? Guy Fiery?

Another team challenge, this time in teams of two. The winner of the last challenge pairs up the teams. The kids have to make international street food. This is not to be confused with a dirty water dog on the street in NYC. They’re making three different dishes at once and switch team leaders every couple of minutes. This seems confusing to me, I can’t imagine how pressured these kids are feeling.

Gordon says pressure is good, and when we’re at our weakest, we find our strongest parts. Thanks, Kahill Gibran.  I don’t know what this is on a bun with a pickle, but I’d like one right now. Especially since my dinner is kale and quinoa soup due to too much holiday food cheer. When Gordon examines something that looks like lamb on a stick, he says the only thing missing is the wool, it’s so raw. Ouch! I’m glad the judges make it fun for the kids, but aren’t patronizing. Might as well learn about the world now.

Good-by little girl with the braids and kid with the mowhawk. Just remember, even if we lived to be 100, most of us won’t cook as well as you on your worst day. You put us all to shame.

Vanderpump Rules

Katie and Schwartz are having a picnic in a gorgeous park. They’re all happy and in love and just engaged. I hope it lasts for them. Katie reads a text from Stassi. Stassi says she’s thrilled with the engagement. Schwartz says Katie has been more relaxed with Stassi out of her life (no surprise), and Katie says she’s not really interested in that friendship anymore (understandable).

The girls fawn over Katie’s ring at work. Lisa says she’s almost as excited for Katie as she was for Pandora. I think Lisa just likes a diamond ring and a good party.

Jax has this huge quandary about who’s coming to the Hawaii trip, because thought processes are hard for him. He says James is definitely out, and although Kristen is out too, he’s inviting her to his birthday lunch. He invites Ariana to the lunch, but warns tells her Kristen will be there. Ariana says maybe she should take a pass. Scheana says she’s creating something where there isn’t anything. Ariana says Scheana is always talking over her and putting words in her mouth and that’s not a real friend. Scheana says that she’s not having this conversation and walks away. Because rainbows and butterflies.

Katie and Scheana are taking a break outside. Scheana tells Katie that Ariana doesn’t think they’re true friends because they keep throwing Kristen in her face. Scheana says Ariana is being like Stassi, although I disagree. Geez, let Ariana have some space from Kristen.

These guys steal so much liquor from the bar, it’s disgusting. Lisa comes in and says Stassi is back in town, and she doesn’t want her being “enabled” hanging out there again. Lisa says Stassi was seriously disrespectful and she doesn’t need to be giving her free drinks when she’s done enough for her and it wasn’t appreciated. Jax concurs that they’ve been getting along just fine without Stassi.

Max and James discuss James not being invited to Hawaii. Max seems to think it’s some passive aggressive thing about Kristen. And maybe James’s drinking has a little to do with it. Yeah. Maybe it has a lot to do with it. James says he’s just going to kiss Jax’s ass, and because Jax is so stupid, he’ll invite him.

Jax tells James he’s a liability. He brings up James acting like a d-bag when Jax was talking to Lala. (I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, who names their kid Lala? It’s a lot easier to type than Scheana though.) He says if he wanted to sleep with Lala, he would. James begs like a dog (not to insult dogs) and Jax says he doesn’t want to be sorry about it. Jax says if he didn’t forgive James, he’d be a hypocrite and tells James he can go. James calls him a dumb ass in his individual interview. That says it all about James. I like him even less than I do Jax.

Katie says Kristen did some f-ed up things, but she’s apologized and is doing better now, so she thinks they can be friends again. Katie tells Kristen about Stassi’s text. Kristen is still friends with her, and she says that Stassi is heartbroken over the loss of Katie’s friendship. That’s funny, since she’s the one who didn’t want to be friends anymore.

James tells Lisa that Jax told him he can come to Hawaii. James says that Lala is going to be there too, and his tongue hangs out, which ticks Lisa off. She says Lala is a human being, not a trophy. Lisa isn’t thrilled about Max coming along either. Lisa astutely points out that if Max is with Faith, that opens up the door for James with Lala. Lisa tells him not to do anything stupid, which she knows are futile words.

The girls go bikini shopping. Faith and Lala are going to be rooming together on the trip. Scheana says she wants to renew her vows in Hawaii. Didn’t they just get married? Lala comes out modeling pasties and a thong, and Scheana thinks this might be a bad idea, since there are a lot of other girls coming along. Scheana predicts Lala will sleep with James on the trip, but Lala says she can’t stop flirting with Jax. Ugh! I’m starting to really not like her. She acts like this is okay on days when he’s not with Britney. Of course he thinks it’s okay too, but I already can’t stand him.

Britney is moving in and Jax says they’ve hit a good stride, whatever that means. Jax asks if she’s okay with Lala going on the trip, even though he’d originally said he wasn’t inviting her. Britney tells him Scheana told her what Lala said when they were out shopping. Britney adds that he doesn’t help any. Jax asks if Britney is going to make things awkward and Britney says she’s going to have to speak with Lala. This makes Jax cringe, but this is his own damn fault.

It’s time for Jax’s birthday lunch! He’s 29 for the 7th time, which means he shouldn’t be hanging out with this crowd. Ariana and Tom show up, and Kristen says she’s not going to waste any more of her time trying to be friends with them. She makes a toast starting off with “since I’m not going to Hawaii” and in his individual interview, Tom says Kristen can’t help but be passive aggressive.

Lala, Faith and James visit Max at Lisa’s house. Max was in an accident and has a mess of dental work that needs to be done, so he doesn’t know if he’s making the Hawaii trip. James was some kind of hero in this because he’s the one who got him to the dentist. He’s probably the cause of it in the first place. Or Lisa arranged it rather than seeing Max vacation with these cretins. James goes on about how selfish Max is, since this blows his plan of hooking Max up with Faith so he can get to Lala.

At the birthday lunch, they discuss James’s…size. Why? Then they move on to Lala being man hungry.

Back at Lisa’s, Lala and Faith are topless in the pool and cavorting with James. What is this? The Playboy mansion? BTW, it’s up for sale, but you have to take Hugh Hefner with it. I’m not kidding. Google it.

When Tom gets up to have a smoke, Kristen follows. For God’s sake, leave that guy alone. Kristen asks for a light and Tom sets her on fire. Not really, but I wish he did. Kristen tells him she’s not going to Hawaii and wants to know what it’s going to take for him to stop being so hard on her friends. Using like about 12 times in a sentence, he says she makes him and Ariana uncomfortable. He says this is about her and not her friends.

The others notice they’re gone and Ariana says Kristen is on her Apology Tour 2015. Ha! She says it’s really about Kristen wanting to go to Hawaii. Kristen tells Tom she’s tired of the tension because she’s not going anywhere. She says she’s going to be helping out with Katie’s wedding too. Tom says she has to understand how truly horrible she was and sometimes actions have consequences. She says she respects his feelings but she’s going to be around. Thanks for the warning.

Scheana asks Ariana to meet her at the bar. Katie comes along. Schwartz says they keep losing people from the lunch. Scheana says that Ariana is being mean and unreasonable, and Katie days she feels like she’s being backed into a corner. Scheana says that Ariana and Tom act like Kristen holds a grudge, when really it’s the other way around. In her individual interview, Ariana says that they’ve all hated Kristen at one time or another, and that she’s never been friends with Kristen for a reason. Scheana says she spoke to Ariana’s mom, who thinks Ariana has been in a bad mood, so it’s not just them. Ariana finds it hard to believe her mom would prompt something like that. She says she’s not going to put herself in a situation where she feels uncomfortable and I don’t blame her. She says she’s now going to have to get on a plane with a bunch of a-holes who look like people who used to be her friends. Man, I’d keep my distance from Kristen too. This bunch is living in unicorn-bunnyville.

At the airport. Jax isn’t thrilled with James being there. James is thrilled because he wants to get with Lala. Scheana says it’s too bad Kristen isn’t there, but Tom and Ariana got their way. All these people claim to be such good friends, yet they all seem to have forgotten it’s Tom’s birthday too, and this is supposed to be a joint effort.

The plane takes off.

Next week, we’re in Hawaii and Jax gets arrested. Looks like lots of Stassi crying this season too.

Jan11

January 10, 2016 — Atlanta & Some New Wives

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

Note:  We have new Wives coming onboard the franchise. The Real Housewives of Potomac premieres January 17. I hate to say it, and maybe I’ll change my mind, but from the previews, it looks like Andy Cohen might be slumming here. Perhaps they were just showing the “choice” bits, but these ladies didn’t look even remotely classy. We’re also supposed to get The Real Housewives of Dallas, but there’s no air date yet, nor has there been a preview.

Also, the new (and last…sniff…) season of Mob Wives premieres January 13 on VH1.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Every time I hear Phaedra say that God is impressed with her, I just shake my head. Not too presumptuous.

Kandi and Mama Joyce are checking out nursery colors and furniture. Kandi says the situation with her mother and the others around her has changed for the better. I hope so, because at one point, Mama Joyce sure looked like she was losing it.

Mama Joyce suggests a crib that the baby can grow into. Kandi says she thinks Mama Joyce sees her previous mistakes and wants to have a better relationship with the new baby. The saleswoman gives Kandi a catalog to check out cribs. Kandi talks about her conversation with Phaedra and how she thought things were cool, but then Phaedra turned around and complained that they weren’t close anymore because Phaedra owes Todd money. Mama Joyce suggests that she talk to Phaedra, but that’s a no as far as Kandi is concerned. She says Mama Joyce doesn’t need to talk to anyone about anything because she can go from 0 to 100 pretty quickly. Yep.

Kenya meets her Aunt Lori and friend Brandon at the Detroit airport. Her mother and father were 15 and 16 when she was born. Her mother wanted to give her up for adoption, but her fraternal grandmother begged to keep her. She was raised by her grandmother and says her mother has ignored her ever since. She wanted to invite her to the family reunion she’s organizing, but has no way to get in touch with her. She says the rest of the family wants her to leave her mother alone, and she can’t even get a phone number from her aunt. Kenya doesn’t want to leave Detroit without at least talking to her.

The airport limo goes by Kenya’s mother’s house, and she gets out.

Since Peter is in romance mode, he’s told Cynthia to pack a lot of sexy stuff and to be ready to go on a trip. Cynthia and her daughter, Noel, discuss relationships. Cynthia says it’s a lot easier when you have a boyfriend and can just tell him to hit the road, but marriage is a whole other animal. She says she and Peter need time to reconnect alone.

Kenya says she’s spent years not speaking to her father and they have a decent relationship now, so she sees no reason why she can’t have one with her mother. Her father tells her that her mother’s father didn’t want any more “illegal” (he means illegitimate) children in the family, and Kenya’s mother ignoring her was the result. He doesn’t want her to go to her mother’s house because he thinks it will be a futile effort.

Kenya goes to the door by herself, knocks, and only hears it lock. After a while she gives up and tells the other family members that she heard her mother say “Don’t answer the door.” In her individual interview, Kenya says she’ll never treat her children that way, no matter who they are. She also says this is her last time trying with her mother.

Kenya’s father and stepmother, Kathy (along with a younger brother?), come to the hotel room. When Kenya ran away from her father’s house as a teenager, there was a lot of friction between her and Kathy. Kenya is thrilled that they’re both here to support her now. She says they can’t relive the past, but they can move forward and make new memories. My hat’s off to her for her maturity.

Porsha is working out with her trainer, DP. Her sister, Lauren, comes by and makes annoying comments. After Porsha is done working out, she has a talk with Lauren. Lauren missed a package that came to the office, but Lauren says she was sick and couldn’t be there and has no help. Lauren says since she’s pregnant, she’s going to work from wherever. Porsha gets stupid, yelling about how Lauren isn’t doing her job. Lauren says that her world has revolved around Porsha for a long time and her own life hasn’t mattered. Then Porsha tells the joke of the century, saying she’s not a selfish person and she’s worked hard to get where she is.

Phaedra, who becomes more ridiculous with every episode, is at the office when Mama Joyce, against Kandi’s advice, pays a visit. The last time Mama Joyce was there, she wanted to choke Phaedra out for introducing Todd to Kandi. In her estimation, two people with big heads shouldn’t procreate. (She said it, not me.) Phaedra asks what’s up, and Mama Joyce wants to know what happened between her and Kandi. Phaedra says they had a misunderstanding, but they’re cool now. Mama Joyce brings up the incident where Phaedra was caught talking about Todd. She says that Kandi is having a high risk pregnancy, and she doesn’t want anything to go wrong and she doesn’t want Kandi to get upset anymore over this. Phaedra says Mama Joyce is in the “pot stirring business,” which is true, but Phaedra is no one to talk. Mama Joyce also asks for help with Kandi’s shower.

Phaedra says she likes an element of surprise in a party. She suggests a theme of “Coming to Atlanta” in the vein of Coming to America. Why is Phaedra dressed like Heidi going to a funeral?

Lauren comes over to Porsha’s apartment. Porsha says she was pretty angry with Lauren, but Phaedra talked her down, explaining that a lot of hormones are probably raging. Yeah, it must be that. It couldn’t possibly be that she’s tired of Porsha being an insensitive idiot. Porsha says they’ve always been close, but Lauren didn’t tell her about the pregnancy right away. Lauren said she was hesitant because she was afraid it would bum Porsha out, considering she’s divorced and childless. She didn’t put it exactly that way, but that’s what she meant. Lauren talks about how Porsha went through all kinds of treatments to get pregnant and then her marriage fell apart. Porsha says things are going well, that she’s not mad and she’s happy for Lauren. Still, she would give all the other good stuff up for a family. I’ll bet not.

Phaedra goes to Todd’s office and they look at the workout video. Phaedra was pregnant in the video, and a lot has happened since then. She says the video doesn’t look like she wants it to, even though the assistant explained that it’s not at full resolution, and she’s not going to release it, but since this is Todd’s only job and he must need the money, she’ll pay him. This woman acts like butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth, but she’s the nastiest one of the bunch. I highly doubt God is impressed. In his individual interview, Todd says Mama Joyce must have made this happen and he’ll probably owe her a percentage. Phaedra and Todd talk babies.

The family reunion is happening. Even though her mother isn’t there, Kenya says she feels blessed. She says if you can survive someone trying to destroy you in the first years of your life, you can survive anything. She says this is her family in the present and future. Some of her mother’s relatives are there, but there are four generations of her father’s side of the family attending. It’s time to eat, and they stand holding hands to bless the food. Kenya’s father says the blessing and thanks the Lord for his family. Kenya thanks everyone for coming, but notices her Aunt Lori has left. She can’t understand why she would travel so far to just stay 10 minutes. Hmm… I wonder if she went to her sister’s house.

It turns out Aunt Lori left because she’s a huge bummer who couldn’t handle Kenya trying to see her mother. What a jerk. The only pleasure I get in this, is knowing she spent money on the plane ticket. Kenya’s father says it’s all good though and they have all the family they need.

Next week, the ladies go to Congress, Todd wants to open a restaurant, Aunt Lori and Kenya get into it, and Nene drags her sorry tail back to Atlanta.

Jan6

January 5, 2016 — GH’s Endless New Year, New Haves & Nots & Beverly Hills

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Anna has a meeting with someone named Gallagher who she thinks can help her prove Paul killed Sloane. Jordan tells her he’s on a leave of absence.

Paul asks Jordan if she’s seen Anna because she hasn’t checked in. Jordan says Anna has a lot on her mind and tells Paul about Robin.

Michael and Sonny are at the hospital. Since Sonny is feeling sensation in his legs, they’re both pretty cheerful. For once. Oh wait, Sonny just asked Michael what’s wrong because something has to be.

Felix and Sabrrrina are having hot chocolate outside. She says she misses Michael. Why?

Patrick brings in “Sonny’s favorite doctor,” Robin. Hugs and hellos.

Julian, Alexis and the girls are out for breakfast. Christina tells them that Sam and Jason are getting back together, but Sam says she’s exaggerating, that it was only a game of pool and then Jason left.

Jason is having an animated dream. Elizabeth is about to wake him, and he roughly grabs her arm.

Christina says she’s cheering on Jason and Sam. Sam says there’s nothing to cheer on. Anna stops by the table and asks Alexis if congratulations are in order. She asks when the big day is, and Alexis says they haven’t decided. Anna says she has the perfect present, arresting Julian, and Julian says for the thousandth time, he’s no longer involved in importing coffee organized crime. Anna is certainly snarky today.

Robin congratulates Sonny on his new grandchild and marrying Carly…again. She and Patrick make googly eyes at each other.

Jason apologizes and Elizabeth says she shouldn’t have startled him. He asks what he was saying in his sleep and she says it was just gibberish. He can’t remember what he was dreaming about. Elizabeth says he should go back to whatever he was doing when she so rudely interrupted him. Well, it’s a little too late to go back to midnight on New Year’s Eve.

Sonny asks about Robin’s health and she says she’s doing well, and that Helena had taken good care of her in that way. She says when Jerry took over, it was a different story, but he’s in prison now. Sonny wants to totally get rid of him, but Robin says that as a doctor, she has to go by the Hippocratic Oath and do no harm. She has an appointment, but promises to catch up with him later. Patrick asks Sonny what’s up, and Sonny tells him that he moved his leg.

Robin enters Obrecht’s office. She asks if it’s a good time, and Obrecht gives her a laundry list of why nothing is ever a good time, but says we do what we must. Robin explains what had happened to her on Cassadine Island and says she’s there to get her job back.

Jordan tells Paul she’s the commissioner not his secretary. Paul compliments her on getting rid of Julian and how organized crime seems to be at a standstill in Port Charles. He leaves and Anna comes in. Didn’t he see her?

Julian says Anna is projecting her problems onto him. Sam says Carrrlos was named as Sonny’s shooter, so Julian should be off the hook. Alexis has had so much going on, she forgot to cancel the open house for Sam’s apartment, which she needs back now. Julian volunteers to go.

Sabrrrina says she messed up and owns it, but she still wants Michael and that Carrrlos is in no position to be a father. Felix agrees, since Carrrlos is supposed to be dead. Suddenly, Sabrrrina feels contractions.

Jason asks how Jake is doing. Elizabeth says he seems fine and she’s sorry for bugging him. Jason says he’s Jake’s father and he’ll be there if Jake needs him. He says he thinks there might be an easier way though and that he’d like to draw up some kind of agreement regarding Jake.

Julian goes to Sam’s apartment and blows off the prospective buyers. Paul comes through the door and is startled that Julian is there. Julian says the apartment isn’t for sale anymore, but Paul says he’ll pay above asking price. Julian says he could put in a good word for Paul, but he wants a favor – call off Anna.

Jordan says apparently Anna is running her own investigation and that she thinks Anna believes Carrrlos didn’t shoot Sonny. Anna says it’s more complex than Jordan realizes and tells her she thinks Carrrlos is still alive.

Sonny wants to discuss Sabrrrina with Michael. Michael says he was going to wait until after the holidays (is it still New Year’s Day there?) to tell him, but he and Sabrrrina broke up. He starts to tell Sonny that Carrrlos is the baby’s father, but is interrupted by noise in the hallway. It’s Sabrrrina coming through in a wheelchair with a small entourage.

Molly says she’s moving into the dorm, and Sam turns it around to make it sound like she’s punishing Alexis. Alexis says if Molly wants to live in the dorm she’s behind her maybe not 100%, but at least 99%.

Julian says that Anna still thinks he had something to do with Duke’s death. He says she made it sound like he’s still being investigated. Paul says the case on him was closed a while ago, and Julian says Anna didn’t get the memo.

Anna tells Jordan that she saw Carrrlos. She says the first two times, she thought it was a hallucination, but then she found the St. Christopher medal with Carrrlos’s DNA on it. Jordan says maybe he lost it before he died and that there was a body. Anna says yes, there was a body, but not necessarily Carrrlos’s.

Michael tells Sonny about Sabrrrina. Sonny tells him to go to her. He says he can’t and doesn’t want to give Sabrrrina hope. He says the baby isn’t the problem between them, it’s the lies.

Patrick comes to Obrecht’s office. Obrecht says they’d love to have Robin back, but she’d have to take a cut in pay. She says the board can also no longer afford research, and that Robin would have to get her own funding for that. GoFundMe, anyone? Patrick is all aghast at this information, but doesn’t he work there? Wouldn’t he know this already?

Outside in the hall, Patrick asks Robin what she thinks. He says she should do what she thinks is right. Robin says go big or go home, but I’m not sure what she means by that.

Michael asks Felix how Sabrrrina and the baby are, and Felix says Michael should go check for himself.

Jordan says assuming she believes Anna, whose body was it? Anna says she doesn’t know, but the body has been cremated, so there’s no chance for an autopsy redo. She also gives Jordan some other particulars. Jordan says Julian didn’t have the means to manipulate test results. Anna says he could pay someone who does. Jordan says that means there must be a mole at the PCPD and Anna says, yep.

Paul tells Julian not to worry, that the case is closed and he’ll tell Anna to leave him alone.

Sam wants to jet because it’s her apartment and Julian shouldn’t have to field the buyers. Molly follows her outside and Sam apologizes. Molly says she’s with Christina in believing that Sam and Jason will get back together.

Jason tells Elizabeth he’s not trying to take Jake away, but he wants an arrangement where he has actual legal responsibility. He says a formal agreement that will keep misunderstandings from happening and show Jake that he wants to be part of his life. Elizabeth says she’ll speak to Alexis. She says she didn’t want Jake to be shuttled between two homes and Jason says that’s not what he wants either. He says he’ll call her after he talks to Diane. Elizabeth asks him to stay for breakfast, but he says he has a lot to do and he’ll talk to her later.

Anna says Gallagher was concerned enough to collect his own evidence, and she finds it suspicious that he’s suddenly away on leave. Jordan wants to know who she thinks the mole is. Anna says all she knows is that Carrrlos is alive and he must have had help. Jordan says it could have come from outside the PCPD and suggests Sabrrrina.

Michael asks Sabrrrina if she needs anything, but she says that he doesn’t need to worry about her or the baby.

Anna says Sabrrrina won’t cooperate anyway, so there’s no point in focusing on her. She and Jordan begin to hatch a plan.

Sam relieves Julian of apartment duty, and Jason shows up.

Molly says she felt bad about asking TJ to wait, but now that she sees what sex does to people, she never wants it. Alexis says it’s fine when you’re responsible. Molly says what if the person you trusted isn’t trustworthy and hurts you? What are you supposed to do, start over? She asks what if something happens to the person. She says if you take sex out of the relationship, it’s easier. Alexis says she shouldn’t shut herself off from it and she feels like Molly’s thoughts have been colored by her mistakes. Alexis says, without it, they wouldn’t have been born so in the long run, it was worth it.

Michael tells Sonny that Sabrrrina told him not to worry and he can’t force her to take his help. Patrick comes in and says he ordered some tests but Sonny will have to find a new doctor, because he and Robin are moving.

Tomorrow, Jason has a memory about Sam and Maxie is shocked by…something.

The Haves and The Have Nots

When we last left, Candice’s bank account had been cleaned out; Hanna’s house had burned down; Oscar wasn’t who he seemed to be; Wyatt and Jeffrey were at the tow yard to get the infamous car, but saw Benny making it with Veronica in the office; Jim wanted everyone dead and was still running for governor; David also wanted to run for governor; and the most of the cast was arrested. Oh, and Jeffrey killed Quincy. Maybe.

Yep, he’s dead. Jeffrey starts to leave and Candace pulls him back. There’s blood everywhere. Now what? Although since Quincy was a violent maniac, I’m not sure this will be a total problem. Candace shoves a drink down Jeffrey’s throat to get him to calm down. Man, that’s going to be some clean-up job. Candace tells Jeffrey to sit down and drink while she thinks. Instead, Jeffrey sits down and dials the police.

Candace snatches the phone away. It starts to ring and Candace puts it into the garbage disposal. She says the police could trace the signal. She says if they call the police, they’ll l get arrested. Jeffrey says it was self defense, but Candace says it won’t be seen that way. She says she knows how prosecutors work and it will be considered overkill because they stabbed him multiple times, and the charge will be murder.

Jeffrey wants to call his father, but Candace says they can’t tell anyone. She says Jim will make sure the DA screws them big time, and even if he doesn’t, Veronica will. Jeffrey has to agree with that one. Candace tells Jeffrey to sit down and drink again. This time he complies.

Veronica has to hand over her wig while being processed, and reveals cornrows. She and Kathryn have to hand over their jewelry, shoes and “anything that can be used as a weapon,” including Kathryn’s girdle. I can’t believe she still wears a girdle and not Spanx. Veronica says they may have to stay all weekend, since all the judges are gone.

Jim and David are getting the same treatment, except it’s belts and shoestrings, and neither one of them is wearing a girdle.

The DA wants them to be in the same cells, separating the men and women, and tells the guard to delay their phone calls as long as possible. She calls Jeffrey and leaves a message that she’s meeting with Wyatt, who has worked out a deal for him.

Maggie’s assistant, Landon, asks if she knew about everything. She says she knew about the car and Wyatt’s hit and run. Landon tells her it’s over, but she doesn’t think so for David. She gives Landon a spin for the press from “an inside source,” pointing the finger at Jim totally. She gives a little of the finger to Veronica, and tells Landon to say she was in on it with Jim. She has a photo of Veronica with Benny and tells him to send it with the story. Landon says they’ll come after her, but Maggie says she’s not afraid. He asks if she’s sleeping with David. She says no, she just believes in him. She says she’s attracted to him, but she’s not doing anything with him. She says he’s a good man who deserves a good woman and it’s her. Landon says ahem, what about this story you’re leaking? She tells him not to judge her and she’s saving David. Landon asks if it’s from the situation or his marriage. Maggie says both. Landon says they covered up a murder for their son, and now the Cryers are going to come after her. She tells him just plant the story.

She makes a call to the Attorney General, leaving a message that she needs a favor.

Jennifer, the DA, meets with Wyatt. He tries to get Jeffrey on the phone, but no luck. He asks when his parents will be sprung and Jennifer says after the weekend. Wyatt says his parents are going to kill him and that he’s always been just an inconvenience. Jennfer wants to get him to a safe house, but he doesn’t want to go. He says he has an inheritance from his grandfather, but because of his substance abuse, it’s in a trust. Jennifer says if she can have backup paperwork that he’s clean, she thinks she can get his money for him. She says she’ll work as fast as she can and asks Wyatt to stay calm and keep trying to track Jeffrey down.

David is pissed at Jim for what Wyatt has done. Jim says he had it handled until Veronica had Wyatt hurt in prison. He adds David must have known since he warned him. David says he just had a feeling and he knows who he married. Jim runs down a list of things Veronica has done, like burning down the house with David in it, and says she’s crazy as a loon. David says he loves Veronica, and if anything happens to her, his rage will be felt. Jim says he’s like a 5-year-old who’s still breastfeeding. David says Jim can’t comprehend loving a woman from the heart. Jim says he’s right, he’s only felt love from a lower place.

David talks about Jim’s daughter, Amanda. Jim says love is even stronger in death. David says again that if he hurts Veronica, he’ll be Jim’s worst nightmare. David tells Jim to call it off, and Jim says, call what off? David says he’s been warned.

Benny calls Hanna, who is staying in a hotel with her grandson, Quincy Jr. He says he’s sorry, but she says she can’t even hear it right now. Hanna says Candace lies when the truth will do and Benny kept trusting her. Benny asks where she is and tells her he talked to a lawyer. She says what lawyer and when he tells her it’s Veronica, she gets pretty angry. Benny says the deeds to the house and tow yard are legit. Hanna says that still doesn’t tell them where Candace got the money from. Benny says he can make the tow yard work, and no matter how it was paid for, it can be a good thing. Hanna says the foundation of a thing determines how well it will hold up. She says Candace keeps getting dragged back into the darkness and as long as Benny believes in her, he can’t believe in anything higher. Benny says regardless, he can make enough to pay the bills. Hanna says she’s staying in a hotel, and she can survive. He says she’s struggled for so long, she rejects not struggling. She says if she hasn’t earned something, she doesn’t want it. Benny says what about her grandson and that the social worker will have him put into foster care if she can’t provide for him. Hanna says the house is evil, but Benny says they can turn things around. Hanna says good-by.

Candace starts to clean up the mess. Where is The Wolf when you need him?  She needs to wrap the body in garbage bags and tries to enlist Jeffrey’s help. He won’t do it, but she can’t even budge Quincy by herself. Jeffrey almost helps, but instead walks away and starts to strip down for a shower. He is totally freaking and Candace tells him it’s okay, she’ll handle things. He is totally useless here. Candace helps him into the shower.

Under the couch, Quincy’s phone lights up as some girl is trying to call him. She seems annoyed that he’s not picking up.

Veronica asks Kathryn if she has anything of value on her that wasn’t taken. Kathryn says no, so Veronica says to shake her hand so that she’ll be her attorney and they can talk in confidence. Kathryn then tells her about Wyatt to confessing to the accident. Kathryn says Veronica will be in trouble for hiding the car. Veronica says no, because she’s Jeffrey’s attorney too.

Candace is all cleaned up. Jeffrey comes out of the shower. He sees police lights outside. Candace tells him to chill. There’s a knock at the door.

Next time, everyone is still in jail and Quincy’s body is still lying on the floor.

Major News

The People’s Couch is moving to Fridays, starting January 15. I love that show so much. Hopefully, it never becomes a conflict with Z Nation.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Kyle is packing for a trip. Kyle asks Portia if she can get away with a light pink dress at a white party. While Portia says yes, I vote no. I can see that it’s pink. Kyle says LisaV’s closet could eat her closet for breakfast. Ha-ha! She’s not very organized, that’s for sure.

LisaR travels once a month for QVC. She wipes down the hotel room with alcohol wipes. After seeing Gordon Ramsey’s Hotel Hell show, I can understand this.

Erika is walking the grounds with an assistant who is making notes. The property is five acres, and I agree, it’s a lot. Our property is a fraction of that and I wish I had an assistant. Erika is packing for two trips – to Chicago as Erika Jayne and the Hamptons as Erika Girardi.

Erika talks to her designer about how Yolanda’s illness had come up. Erika isn’t happy about the less than supportive remarks. She says friends should show more compassion. I agree. I think most of the time, this group comes from a good place, but sometimes there’s no tact whatsoever. Lots of fashion talk follows.

Giggy! And other cute Pom! LisaV is getting ready for the party in the Hamptons. She and Ken talk about Kim’s arrest for shoplifting. Lisa is mystified as to why things weren’t handled differently since Kim is clearly disturbed. Lisa calls Kyle, who is distraught. She asks if Kyle has talked to Kim, and Kyle isn’t up to talking about it. Lisa wonders if Kim was on medication, and Kyle says she’ll talk to her later. Afterwards, Lisa says she feels depressed just thinking about it, and I think that’s the first time I’ve heard her say something like that.

Vince wants to know how much one of Eileen’s dresses is ($500), and he criticizes her spending, but she says she buys her own clothes and makes her own money. She also doesn’t stick her nose in his spending. Fair enough. When he asks about the shoes, she says don’t even.

Ten years ago, Yolanda ruptured a breast implant, and the replacements leaked ten years after. She says they haven’t defined her as a woman, which is good to hear, but why get them in the first place then? She’s going to Ohio for the surgery, as this surgeon is particularly experienced with this operation. David acts supportive in the car on the way to the airport.

Erika and her husband are at a fancy restaurant. Tom was going to join her in Chicago, but he has a meeting when she’s going to the Hamptons. They have two planes, a small one for regional travel and a large one for longer flights. Tom has to leave, but Erika gets a humongous piece of chocolate cake. Erika says she wants to eat like the other women in Beverly Hills, but she can’t. I don’t see as this has hurt her any though.

Erika calls LisaV. She says she was invited to the Hamptons, but doesn’t want to horn in on the Bella party. Lisa says don’t be silly and they verbally spar a little. Erika calls Lisa “Diva,” and Lisa says she’s right.

LisaR is in Philly. QVC had come to her late store,“gotten the vibe” and wanted to carry her line. She says she can make as much in an hour as she did in a year with the store. A guy named Dennis, who designed the gowns for Nicky Hilton’s wedding, comes in to the makeup room and talks for a while with Lisa. And here comes Isaac Mizrahi. It’s like Old Home Week. Isaac and Lisa chat.

Yolanda is in Cleveland. It does make sense that she’s having surgery done there. It’s the home of many great doctors. Yolanda says she feels like a soldier going into battle. Yolanda calls Gigi, who’s in Australia and was sleeping. David says he’ll text her later. Yolanda says this won’t cure her Lyme disease, but it will boost her immune system. Well, of course. This has to be a huge contributor to her problem. She and David say good-by and she’s wheeled into surgery.

LisaR says she loves being a saleswoman and she thinks her honesty comes across. Her stuff is pretty nice. Lisa’s sweaters sell out and she says she must have been a hustler in another life.

Yolanda has surgery. From the discussion among the medical staff, it sounds like there’s a mess of silicone in there.

Giggy! LisaV, Ken and the sweetest pup in the world, except for my own, get in a helicopter and head for South Hampton. Bella magazine has arranged for everyone to stay in the same hotel. Kyle says she’s moving to a quieter place though. There’s a party outside the door and base sounds were happening at 9 a.m. Mauricio finds her a house to rent and Eileen comes along. They both wonder how LisaV is going to take it.

Giggy is on the cover of the magazine too. Lisa talks sweet talk to him in the limo.

The surgeon tells David things went well. She says that it was pretty bad and Yolanda was riddled with silicone. Yolanda is barely awake and wants to see David. He tells her everything is going to be fine. Yeah, until he files for divorce.

Giggy! LisaV and Ken check in to the hotel. The desk clerk gives her a note from Kyle. Aww! The tiny Gigster goes up one stop on his own. Lisa also gets a nice welcome basket. Ken wastes no time digging into some chocolates. Lisa reads the note that says they’ve moved to the rental house. Lisa calls Eileen, who explains why they had to leave and tells Lisa to join them. Lisa tells her she can’t leave, since it’s been set up for her. They agree to talk later at the party. Lisa is a little pissed off, and I can see why. They really could have waited an hour or whatever.

LisaR goes to the rental house. She’s come straight from the QVC gig, so she’s pretty wiped out. She agrees that the hotel would have been a bad deal sleepwise.

The cocktail party is fabulous and LisaV’s face is even on the cupcakes. Lisa mingles among the guests and takes pictures. The rest of the ladies are on their way in a limo. LisaR says when she heard too loud and no food (there was also no room service), she was in on the house rather than the hotel.

LisaV is a little upset about the ladies leaving before she even got there. She said she’d wanted to party with them. Eileen says they all flew on the red eye and were exhausted, and Kyle says she’s probably jealous since they can sleep. LisaV brings up Kim’s arrest and Kyle gets extremely bristly.

Next week, Bethenny makes an appearance, and LisaR and Eileen meet Erika.

Jan5

January 4, 2016 — The Endless New Year’s Eve & a Proposal

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Franco is showing Nina how real things can be. I’ve decided that’s my new euphemism now.

Dante sees Morgan on the docks. He claims he’s looking for some solitude. Morgan asks if Dante is up to police business, but he says he’s going to The Haunted Star party. Morgan thinks showing up unannounced might be a bad idea.

Johnny is trying to show Lulu how real things are. Lulu stops mid-clinch and says she’s still married, and this would be cheating. Johnny asks if Dante would feel the same way.

Spinelli and Ellie show up at The Floating Rib and see Sam and Jason almost being real. But of course that witch Elizabeth has to call right at that moment. Okay, maybe she does have a reason, since there are flashing red lights outside of her house.

Elizabeth says Jake had a scare, the police are there and she’ll explain everything when Jason gets there.. Wah-wah-wah. Jason says he has to go. Spinelli, Ellie and Sam have a shot. The alcoholic kind.

Franco and Nina suddenly notice Kiki is home. Kiki says she got home early and was going out to party with her friends, but decided to spend a quiet evening at home. Suddenly, she changes her mind (good move) and wants to go to The Haunted Star. She leaves. Franco wants to pick up where he and Nina left off, but Nina decides to make a sandwich.

Lulu says revenge sex isn’t the answer. Johnny says why not, but Lulu says even if she was going to do that, she’d do it with someone Dante could find out about. Good point.

Dante tells Morgan he’s kind of a train wreck when it comes to relationships. Morgan says that’s why he can give advice on what not to do. Dante says he thinks he should be spontaneous with Lulu.

Johnny talks Lulu back into being real. How come those pics of him and Valerie haven’t hit the internet yet?

Nina says that she’s never felt so loved, and Franco asks what she’s afraid of. She says she’s terrified that they’re going to ruin everything with sex. Seriously? Are we 15? Or even 25?

Spinelli says it was clear that Sam and Jason’s attraction for each other is back. Sam balks at the idea and says it was nothing. Spinelli says no way., but then kind of goes, well….

Jason gets to Elizabeth’s. Jake runs to him and he asks Jake what happened.

Lulu stops the realness again and says that Johnny dredging up old memories is confusing and not helpful. Dante knocks at the door. Lulu shoves Johnny somewhere and straightens up a little. She asks Dante why he’s there. He says he was lonely and needed to see her. This ought to be interesting.

Nina says what if it isn’t that great or she’s bad at it? She doesn’t want to risk the disappointment. She suggests maybe their time came and went, and she messed up by not taking it. Franco says what if the world ended and they were never together in a meaningful way and they would always regret it? He says he was waiting because he wanted it to be the right time, and he feels it’s the right time now. He says if she really thinks about it, she’ll agree. She says she doesn’t know what to do and he says do nothing, just be loved. Too bad things aren’t like this IRL.

Morgan is talking to himself and decides to have another beer. Kiki startles him and she asks if he’s been drinking. He says no, but she says she can smell it. He says he only had one beer. While I can vouch for this, it reminds me of the court shows when a litigant says they only had “a few beers.” This translates into they were drinking their face off and it never, ever fools the judge. I remember back in the day, Judge Wapner looking at Rusty, winking, and saying, “Yeah. A few beers.” Kiki asks if Morgan took his meds. He says not today and she tells him he can’t keep skipping them, and reminds him of his craziness at the cabin.

Eliie says she loves football because it’s the opposite of science and completely irrational. She says that although things like physics are involved in the game, it runs on emotions. Spinelli reminds Sam of when they looked at the stars and talked about Jason, and how things have come full circle. Sam says he’s imagining things. Spinelli says since Jason has discovered who he is, he and Sam have gotten closer, and as Jason discovers more of himself, he’ll discover his love for her.

Elizabeth says she was putting Cameron and Aiden to bed, when Jake started hollering that there was a man looking in the window. She says by the time she got there, he was gone and she called the cops. Yeah, right. I’m not sure Jason is totally buying this and I certainly don’t. Jake asks Jason not to leave.

Dante asks Lulu what’s going on. She says nothing; she just wants some privacy. She asks why he didn’t call first and he says he was afraid she’d hang up. He says he has some things he wants to talk about and she asks if it can wait. He says no, and she says go ahead, talk. Dante starts to talk, and then walks past Lulu into the room like he’s the boss. I would so be saying something if I was Lulu, but she just stands there looking startled. He asks what she’s been doing and I assume he sees the champagne glasses. How about none of your business, buddy? Oh, wait, he can’t hear me and wasn’t talking to me in the first place.

Franco and Nina are keepin’ it real.

Dante says he thought he heard Lulu talking to someone. She says she was talking to herself. She says she was taking a break from the party to have a cry. Dante says, so you weren’t with anyone? She tells him she owes him no explanations and I totally agree. He says he thought there was still something between them, and she says he thought wrong. He asks, who is it? Because the only other option for her other than being with him is to be with another guy.  Man, I hate those assumptions.

Sam admits there might have been a moment or spark, but Jason doesn’t remember their life together. Spinelli asks if the attraction is “fortuitous” or not. I love Spinelli. He reminds me of Citizen Z on Z Nation. Or really vice versa, since Spinelli was here first.

Elizabeth acts her little heart out and tells Jake that Jason has to leave. Jake is all like, what if the bad man comes back and hurts us? and Jason says he’ll stay. I trust Jake about as much as I trust Elizabeth, which is not at all. That kid has looked suspicious since he came back from Cassadine Island or wherever the blip Helena was keeping him. He reminds me of The Bad Seed. He’s incredibly precocious and all of a sudden he’s acting like he’s an innocent toddler? No way.

Nina tells Franco how much she loves him and they get more real. Song part. I hate song parts. I hate them in movies too, unless they’re part of the plot. It’s one thing if the characters put a song on or are singing themselves, but this stuff is like, where is that music coming from and why? Their realness goes into the commercial break.

Commercial break. I don’t watch the dating reality shows – I can’t take the desperation – but the new guy on The Bachelor reminds me of Rob Kardashian when he’s thin.

Morgan says he still cares a lot about Kiki. She says she doesn’t want to lose him as a friend. He says she’s not, but she tells him if he keeps going the way he’s going, she will. She tells him she knows he doesn’t want to take his meds, but if he doesn’t, things will get scary. He says the meds make him feel dead inside and at least a beer makes him feel something. She says his condition is real and it’s not going away and it affects, not just him, but everyone around him.

Jason puts Jake to bed and Elizabeth says he can sneak out now. Jason says that he’ll stay so he’ll be there when Jake wakes up. Elizabeth says she wishes she had put what was best for everyone first while she had the chance. She tells him that she’s sorry. He says thanks and what’s done is done. She goes to get bedding for the couch.

Lulu tells Dante to get out before she calls the police. He says he is the police and she says it’s going to be pretty embarrassing then. Ha-ha! Dante picks up a pair of New Year’s Eve glasses from the bed, which is I guess what he saw. First of all, who does he think he is, snooping around her place? Secondly, how dare he be snooping around her place? I’m with Johnny. She deserves better than Dante.

The song is over and Nina and Franco are done with being real. Looks like things went well, because Nina wants to get real again.

Morgan tells Kiki she’s right, that he has to deal with his illness. Kiki says it will suck for a while, but eventually his doctor will find the right balance for him. His phone alarm goes off to tell him it’s time for his pill. He says he’s taking Kiki to a diner where she’s going to drink her coffee like a lady and he’s going to man up and take his meds. This is one of the rare moments when I like him. (The character, not the actor – Bryan Craig is great.)

Dante got a lot out of finding those glasses, since he gets pissed off and leaves. Lulu tells Johnny that Dante looked at her like he hated her and she wants Valerie out of the picture now. He says Valerie is going to get what she deserves. Good.

Sam, Spinelli and Eliie are having a beer now. Ellie suggests that Sam might end up not feeling the same way about Jason. Sam says maybe, maybe not. Sam says the same qualities she fell in love with must still be there.

Elizabeth tells Jason “happy new year” and tucks him into the couch. Not really, she gives him blankets and goes back upstairs.

Tomorrow, Robin wants her job back at the hospital, and it looks like Sabrrrina might be having her baby.

Vanderpump Rules

Schwartz visits Lisa for a mini meeting about the Sangria. She asks if he would like some water and he says he could use a Xanax. Lisa intimidates him, but I think it doesn’t take much. Lisa says Tom should also be there, but Schwartz is really there to show her Katie’s engagement ring. It’s beautiful. A pear shaped diamond. Schwartz tells Lisa to keep it a secret.

Tom and Ariana go to a tattoo removal place where Tom knows the manager. Kristen also knows someone there, so Tom is worried she’ll find out about it. Ariana says that this is the most grudge-bearing group she knows, except when it comes to Kristen and I agree.

The doctor says they have to wait because of some complication he has with the red ink. It’s going to cost a thousand bucks and, take 7 to 12 treatments over a year and a half’s time. The doctor also says he can’t go sunbathing or use a tanning bed in the meantime. I might add her first reaction to Tom asking about the tanning bed is, “Who does that anymore?”

“Think before you get ink,” Tom says. Um, yeah. How about just thinking period.

Jax, Scheana and Kristen are out for drinks. Lala is joining them later. They discuss the problem Tom has with Kristen coming to the joint birthday party for Jax and Tom. Kristen keeps asking if she’s invited and Jax can’t tell her no. Instead he says he’ll fight for her. Scheana says Kristen will show up whether invited or not, and he has to tell her not to even come near the event. What is up with that? Lala joins them and Kristen says if Lala wants to be friends with her, she shouldn’t’ be hooking up with her ex. Lala hugs Jax and Kristen almost has apoplexy. Jax invites Lala to the party in Wakiki. I’d hide the knives at this point. Why does this cuckoo bird want to go to a party where she’s not wanted? Lala and Jax flirt openly and steam comes out of Kristen’s ears. Obviously, even with her whole nine months of therapy, Kristen is as crazy as ever.

During prep time at SUR, Tom spills some Sambuca and he says it’s the worst liquor ever to clean up, sticky and pungent. Katie asks Lisa if Schwartz came up with any good ideas about the sangria and Lisa says not at all. Lisa makes a big show of scolding Tom. When Katie leaves the room, Lisa finds out that Tom knows about Schwartz proposing, and they talk about it.

Britney is in the parking lot, with her car full of her belongings. Jax says whether he wants it or not anymore, it’s too late. Britney is moving in. He says he’s excited about it, but it’s still kind of fast. Yeah, especially since he was out with Lala last night. Jax invites her inside SUR. In his individual interview, James predicts Britney will be gone by this time next year. Jax gives her the keys and tells her they’ll celebrate when he gets home.

Jax informs Lala that Britney is moving in. She says she thought they were just casually dating. Okay, I guess she’s really stupid. Lala tells James she was flirting with Jax, which doesn’t make him too happy, since he thinks she should be with him. Lala says she was invited to Jax’s birthday and James acts like he’s coming too. Another one who wants to be somewhere he’s not wanted. Is this a millennial thing?

Jax comes to the office for his paycheck. He tells Lisa about the Hawaii plans. Lisa says they never tell her as far in advance when they plan these trips. She heaves a sigh and asks who’s going. Jax says he wants to invite Lisa’s son, Max. Lisa isn’t too keen on it and says to just make sure everyone has their shifts covered. Jax says James will be there, since he’s not invited. Jax tells her about Britney and Lisa says it won’t take long for Britney to see through him.

Faith is at Lala’s place for drinks and pizza. Lala tells her she touched James’s peepee. I’m not kidding. That’s what she said. Faith asks what she even sees in him. That’s my question. Lala also says that she’d texted Jax at 3 a.m. and doesn’t remember. Faith says she likes Britney, but at the same time, she knows who she’s dating. What is wrong with people?

Katie and Scheana come over to Kristen’s place for a carbless, meatless lasagna. It’s not lasagna then. Kristen is hoping they’re on their way to being friends again. Kristen asks about Schwartz and Katie tells her about the tattoo. Scheana knows about the ring too and is having a hard time keeping it to herself. Katie and Scheana put words in Ariana’s mouth, saying she told them they can’t be friends with both her and Kristen. That’s not what she said. Another bunch with short term memory loss or who think that I have it.

Schwartz comes over to Tom and Ariana’s place with take-out. He and Tom talk about the surprise engagement ring presentation.  He’s also brought his clothing over for Tom’s approval. They talk about when Schwartz first moved to L.A. and Tom found him under roommates on Craigslist. Tom has a little dog (a Pomeranian?) named Charlotte. Nothing to do with what’s going on; just giving cute dog alert.

James checks the schedule. James asks Lisa if he can have off too because of the Hawaii trip. Lisa asks him if he knows whether he’s invited or not, and reminds him of the fight he and Jax had. James keeps acting like he’s been invited without answering the question and takes a picture of the schedule. Meanwhile, Lisa keeps trying to get him to go back to work. James and Kristen are so freaking weird, I can’t stand it.

Tom creates a birthday dinner and drinks with the group to cover for Schwartz proposing. Schwartz says no one else knows because he didn’t want them anticipating the moment, but now he finds himself doing it. They talk about Britney coming out to L.A. all by herself and wonder where all her stuff is going to go in Jax’s studio. They also talk about the upcoming trip to Hawaii. Schwartz is downing beers like a maniac. The cue is when the entrees are cleared. Here it comes. I’m laughing at how nervous he is.

Schwartz looks like he’s about to pass out or throw up. He asks for another beer. OMG, some other guy is proposing to his girlfriend at another table. Talk about having your thunder stolen. Or is this part of the set up? Okay, it is. Schwartz goes over to the guy, interrupts things, and takes the ring. He brings it over to Katie and gets down on one knee, asking her to marry him. I have to admit, this is pretty clever. If I were her, I’d tell him no just for making me wait so long.

She says yes, and everyone applauds. Tom looks like a proud father. Some violinists pop out of nowhere to play background music. Katie calls her mom from the restaurant and sends an Instagram pic. They have a toast. Schwartz is ecstatic that nothing went wrong and says it’s a fairytale ending. Just wait, pal.

Next week, the guest list for Hawaii is firmed up and Britney tries to tame Jax.

Jan4

January 3, 2016 — More GH NYE & Some Atlanta

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season. Now back to business. I am so glad to see Galavant! is back. I honestly thought I was the only one watching it. While this is too insane of a show to recap (Once Upon A Time is hard enough), it should appeal to anyone who likes a little satire with their 5th Century, or perhaps Game of Thrones as a musical. A bit Spamalot, a bit Camelot and a big risk as a Sunday night show, I highly recommend this silly, yet clever whatever-it-is. And perhaps now I know what they did with the woodland settings from the late Clifton’s Cafeteria in Los Angeles.

General Hospital – New Year’s Eve in Port Charles

Patrick comes home after dropping Emma off for a sleepover. He’s also brought snacks for him and Robin’s New Year’s Eve. Chocolate covered popcorn is in order.

Sonny tells Dante he and Carly are having a quiet evening in. They don’t know what Morgan is up to, and Carly says she’s worried, but Sonny says they’ll just have to trust him. Michael shows up. Sonny asks what he and Sabrrrina have planned. Apparently, he’s out of the loop.

Morgan is at The Floating Rib. He starts to order a club soda and changes it to a beer. No good is going to come from this. The Floating Rib is floating all right. It doesn’t know if it’s an upscale restaurant or a sports bar.

Nina introduces herself to Curtis.

Franco meets some guy on the docks and gives him a bunch of money. The guy hands him an envelope.

Robin gives Patrick a gift. It’s a perpetual calendar. Robin says she wants him to see the infinite number of days they can spend together.

Christina (who I guess is a permanent fixture on the show now) runs into Sam. She wants Sam to join her at the bar and watch “the game.”

Valerie and Dillon are also at the bar.

^$@!&@#&!_!  (Insert your favorite curse words.) ABC just broke in to tell us about Bill Cosby’s indictment. Thank you sooo much because we know that just couldn’t wait for forty-five minutes. @!)#^$&_! again!

Carly asks Jason (who I guess stopped by while I was forced to watch Bill Cosby getting into his car for 10 minutes) if he’d like to stay for New Year’s Eve. He says no thanks. He wants Carly and Sonny to enjoy their newlywed time together.

Michael tells Jason that he and Dante are going to watch college football and asks if he wants to join them. Dante promises that he’s off duty and won’t bug Jason. Jason says okay. I already know this entire thing is just a set up to get Sam and Jason in the same room on New Year’s Eve.

At this point, pretty much the whole under-30 cast is at The Floating Rib. Morgan asks Christina what’s up. She says she’ll fill him in if he won’t tell anyone. She also adds that she won’t tell anyone he’s been drinking.

Valerie tells Dillon that she and Dante barely had a relationship, but it’s over now. He says she deserves better anyway. She asks him to send positive vibes for her team to win. Dillon tells her his father didn’t live up to his expectations. Valerie says she’s sorry, but he says it’s a fresh start and he doesn’t want to mull over the crummy things that happened in 2015. Me neither.

Johnny, in the big disguise of 2016 glasses, is at The Haunted Star. So are Nina and Franco, and I guess I’ll never know what Nina wanted to ask Curtis. Does she want him to model for the magazine? I could totally see him doing that. Franco gives Nina a present. It’s an absolutely gorgeous necklace.

Robin says now that they have a calendar that goes to the end of time, they can fill it with new memories. Patrick tells her she’s the only person he wants to spend every day with and asks her to marry him. Um….aren’t they already married?

Franco has excellent taste, although he is an artist. Nina loves the necklace and has him put it on her. He says if she’s wondering how he paid for it, he sold a painting. She says he shouldn’t have, but I say why not? Isn’t that the usual goal? They kiss.

Curtis approaches Franco and says he knows who he is.

Darby joins Christina and Morgan. Christina excuses herself to get back to Sam at the pool table. Darby asks if Morgan would like to have a good time, but he says he might have to help his dad out. Michael shows up to mess up everyone’s party mind-set.

Dante says hello to Valerie and she makes herself scarce.

Jason sees Sam at the pool table. They talk football and Jason asks if Sam would like to play a game of pool. She asks if he knows how good he is at pool.

Carly says Jason made a good point that last year at this time, she was missing Sonny, and now they’re married. Sonny says by all rights he should be dead or in prison, but instead he’s with her. They both say how lucky they are. Sonny says he’s always going to need her, and that they’re equals, but he was hoping he would be walking by now. More kissing.

Robin and Patrick “accept” each other’s proposals. Even more kissing. Robin says she’s been praying to be back home for so long, it’s hard to believe it’s real. Patrick says he’ll show her how real it is and they go upstairs. I don’t want to know.

Curtis says he was on the Baltimore PD for years, and Franco was on the most wanted list for most of them. He says a bunch of nasty stuff ending with calling Franco “Robert.” Nina comes back and Curtis tells her if she ever wants to shake Franco, to let him know.

Dillon says he’s going to The Haunted Star and stupidly asks if Valerie would like to come. Oh sure! Not too insensitive. She says she’s going home and he says he’ll drive her.

Michael decides to try and police Morgan. Morgan says he has something to take care of and leaves.

Sam beats Jason at pool and they rack up another game. Christina introduces herself to Jason. He asks if they know one another, and she says she can’t count the times he rescued her. She says there’s something to be said for starting over with a clean slate. She also suggests that he should get back together with Sam. Sam is like, cut it out, and Christina goes to mingle elsewhere. Sam and Jason smile and make googly eyes at each other. Yeah, yeah, we all know where this is headed.

Johnny and Lulu (who checked out The Floating Rib for less than 2 seconds) go back to The Haunted Star for a nightcap.

Morgan sees Raj down at the docks, leaving from a meeting with an associate.

Back at the bar, Sam trips and falls into Jason’s arms. Come on now.

Patrick is showing Robin how real things are. Song part.

Sonny and Carly are being real too. Carly interrupts things to get a new bottle of champagne to toast the new year. She says it’s bad luck to toast at midnight from an open bottle. This is a new one to me, although I’m not much of a champagne drinker.

Valerie’s team wins and is in the running for the national championship. It’s so exciting, I can barely keep from yawning. She and Dillon kiss. Valerie says she can’t deal with romance right now and Dillon says bad timing. She says he can stay in the friend zone and he agrees. I’m sure he’s thrilled. I know how much guys like to be there.

Counting down. Sonny is either having a heart attack or feels movement in his legs. Okay, it’s his legs. Morgan sees the fireworks from the docks and Dante happens upon him. Franco says he wants to take Nina home and make love to her. Johnny kisses Lulu and she totally responds. Go lulu. Carly rushes to Sonny’s side and he says it’s going to be a great year. Robin and Patrick bask in the afterglow and say, “Happy new year” to each other.

Everyone else at the bar is jumping around. Jason and Sam wish each other a happy new year and their faces are pretty close, but no kiss yet.

GH can certainly drag things out, but I have high hopes for Monday.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

DonJuan, Kandi and another assistant are discussing Phaedra’s public powwow about the money issue between her and Todd. Kandi isn’t thrilled with Porsha having been involved in her business. The assistant (Carmen?) says something about how you shouldn’t come around with new shoes when you owe someone money and I’m  totally with her on this. There is a couple who owes me a large sum of money who likes to post their vacation pictures on Facebook, while I haven’t had a vacation since 1987.

Phaedra and Todd meet. Phaedra acts like she doesn’t know why on earth he has an issue with her. Phaedra says some baloney in her individual interview about how Todd must be scrounging around for change because some project of his didn’t get off the ground. Pay him his money, you tight-fisted witch. Phaedra makes noises about having had the baby and how it was a priority. Phaedra also says she hasn’t seen the video, but we flash back to her saying how good it looks as she’s watching it. He tells her that they also need a photo from her and shows her the cancelled checks so she gets it through her head that she still owes him a third.

Porsha is hosting an Emmy red carpet event for Dish Nation. I’ve seen Dish Nation. Once. Please don’t tell me they’re up for an Emmy. Porsha’s sister, Lauren, is also pregnant and since she’s Porsha’s right hand, Porsha doesn’t know what she’ll do when Lauren goes on maternity leave. I can just imagine.

Kenya’s dad has come to visit. Kenya talks about the remodel of her new house and how it’s a money pit. Another great leveler. All houses are money pits. Kenya also says she’s dating. Her dad talks about men keeping scorecards. Maybe at a frat house. Kenya says some of her issues with men are the result of a dysfunctional family. Kenya says she has to deal with family stuff first before finding the right guy.

Cynthia is working on an event for her eyewear. Marlo (apparently bucking for the next Wives cast) is helping.

I have to admit, Porsha’s dress is phenomenal. Sometimes she’s got too much going on or her wardrobe is way too revealing, but this is perfect. Somebody coaches her in the limo about doing interviews. She interviews Gary Cole, one of my favorites. She’s pretty excited, takes lots of selfies, and as far as I can tell, doesn’t embarrass herself.

I go get another piece of pie, my waistline becoming a casualty of the holiday season.

Phaedra’s son, Aiden, is taking golf lessons. I wish him better luck than I had.

Kenya shows her dad her new house in progress. He makes grumbling noises because it’s a wreck, but that’s just the stage the house is in now.

Kandi and Todd meet Peter and Kandi for dinner. Peter compliments Kandi on the video release. Kandi tells them about what DonJuan heard outside the event. She thinks that Porsha should have kept her nose out of it. Kandi is annoyed since she’s been supportive of Porsha in the past. They talk about the money Phaedra owes Todd and all her excuses.

Peter asks about Kandi opening a restaurant. Cynthia says be prepared to put in a lot of time and how she thought things never worked well unless Peter was on site. She and Peter get in a small argument about it.

Cynthia is having her glasses event and Kim helps with some of the camera work. Cynthia talks to Kim and Kenya about producing and directing a commercial for her. Porsha deigns to grace them with her presence after the Emmys. Kandi wonders who the real Porsha is.

Porsha approaches Kandi and asks for a side conversation. Kenya says she hopes Kandi’s crew has their health insurance paid up since she knows what Porsha’s capable of. Ha-ha! DonJuan interrupts and kinda, sorta apologizes about butting in to the ladies’ business at the video release. Kandi doesn’t really want to go outside to talk and Porsha says she’s done and walks outside.

Phaedra isn’t there which Kenya thinks is convenient. Kandi’s friend (Carmen?) tries to run interference and talk to Porsha outside, but Porsha literally runs away from the situation.

Kenya’s dad is obviously a negative guy. They sit in the park to talk. In Kenya’s individual interview she says it’s hard to have a conversation with him because she ran away when she was 12 and her dad didn’t talk to her for five years. They’d moved to Texas and she ran back to where she used to live in Detroit. He says he had pain too, because he thought he had failed. That when she decided Texas wasn’t good enough, he felt she thought he wasn’t good enough. Kenya says she didn’t realize how hurt her dad was and her dad says they need to put everything in the past. It sounds like Kenya’s mother was never too supportive either, but he says forget about it.

Kenya wants to have a family reunion in Detroit, but her dad isn’t too receptive. Kenya thinks if she can reconnect with her dad, maybe there’s hope for her mother. They hug.

Kandi and idiot Porsha meet for lunch. Porsha says she invited Kandi to lunch so she can be “the bigger person,” and I gag. Porsha says Kandi’s team caused problems at the event. Kandi says her team knew that Porsha wanted to talk about the Todd gossip, so they should have been included. She also says private conversations usually lead to the person retracting what they said later. Porsha acts like she contributed nothing to the gossip and DonJuan got it all wrong. Porsha says she wasn’t taking sides and it’s all Phaedra. Kandi says Porsha goes whatever way the wind is blowing. Porsha says that she’s choosing a side because maybe Phaedra needs her more. Nice try. I don’t think Phaedra needs anybody’s support.

Now it’s Kandi’s turn to gag. Porsha tries to act like Phaedra is a poor single mother whose husband has left her in the lurch. Porsha asks if there’s anything she can do to get Phaedra and Kandi’s friendship back on track. Kandi says it will probably never be the same and then the two of them act like nothing ever happened. WTF?

Next time, Kenya goes to Detroit and OMG it’s Kandi’s mom.