Tag Archives: Bravo

Dec30

December 29, 2015 — PC NYE & the Hills of Beverly

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Sonny tells Dante that he’s grateful to Kiki for getting Avery to him for a Christmas visit. Meanwhile, Morgan, who is at the MetroCourt, asks Kiki to join him. She says since she’s working, that wouldn’t be very professional.

Nicholas tells Hayden that if he shows mercy to Jason, Jason could be in his debt. Hayden says she saw him go over the railing and thought he was dead. Nicholas flirts with her a little. I have news for him, I don’t think Jason would ever feel like he’s in Nicholas’s debt.

Maxie shows up at Patrick’s to see Robin. Patrick says she’s not there, and Maxie tells him he’s nuts for losing sight of her.

Jason tells Robin that even though she’s like a stranger to him, he owes her his life. She says ditto. She gives him the Reader’s Digest Condensed version of what happened to her. She tells him he’s the reason she has a life to come back to.

Hayden says she missed Nicholas, for the obvious reasons, that he takes care of her, but she missed his company as well. Geez, it’s not like he’s been there that long. She says she missed the dance they do with each other. He says maybe they should stop dancing and start trusting. Yeah, that’s the ticket. You do that.

Kiki tells Morgan that hating her mom wasn’t getting her anywhere, so she’s decided to move on. She’s not forgiving or forgetting, but she’s willing to tolerate Ava for Avery’s sake.

Dante is under the impression that Sonny made up with Ava, but Sonny says she’s even more dangerous now. He tells Dante that he needs to decide where he stands with Lulu.

Lulu tells Johnny that she and Dante made an effort to get along on Christmas for Rocco’s sake. She thinks once Valerie is out of the picture, they’ll have a chance. Johnny says he’d be remiss if he didn’t tell her he thinks she’s making a mistake.

Sonny tells Dante if he put half the effort into getting Lulu back that he does in justifying why he shouldn’t, everything would be different. Sonny says that because Dante screwed up, he thinks that’s that and isn’t even trying to fix things. Yep. Lazy. Moving on to the next one is just so much easier.

Jordan tells Valerie that she has a New Year’s date with someone she met at a law enforcement convention. She likes that he understands her job, but they don’t work together. She tells Valerie that she’s lucky her dalliance with Dante didn’t ruin her career.

Dante comes to the hospital to question Nicholas and Hayden. Hayden doesn’t want to leave Nicholas and Dante asks if that’s because she’s afraid their stories won’t match.

Jason says he wanted to get away to think and that he likes the view of the city. Robin says the bridge is important to her because that’s where they fell in love.

Paul is having a drink and texting Raj about the next transaction. Raj says they’ll talk soon. Dillon appears and says he and Paul need to talk and how could he screw over Tracy again. Dillon says he’s spent all this time regaining Tracy’s trust and then caused her to mistrust him all over again. Paul says he wasn’t being unfaithful as he and Tracy had no plans for the future. Dillon says he played the both of them.

Dante questions Nicholas. Hayden watches from the hall wondering what they’re saying. Curtis calls Hayden and says he’s found a match for the bullet.

Sonny tells Max he’s expecting a call that should shed light on some things.

Patrick tells Maxie that Robin was coerced into leaving him and Emma, and he doesn’t want to push anything. Maxie doesn’t understand why they don’t just get back together.

Robin tells Jason about Stone dying from AIDS and how he wanted to bungee jump off the bridge. She says after he passed away, she found out she was HIV positive. Back then it was a death sentence and she would come to the bridge thinking about the future she was never going to have. She says one day Jason showed up, and after he’d had an accident, he was a changed man. Jason says he’s changed again and wishes people would accept it. Robin tells him his friends aren’t the sit and wait type and they just want their old Jason back. He says what she’s telling him is a story, but not a memory. She says he’s back where he started, without a past, but not she has a future because of him.

Robin says she was lucky because her family and friends were so supportive. She says there was a lot of pressure to be positive all the time, but with him it was different. She could tell him everything. Jason asks her to tell him more. Robin says she was offered a meds cocktail. She would have to take 30 pills a day and she wasn’t sure if she wanted that kind of commitment without knowing if it would work. She says Jason told her he would be supportive no matter what, but that her life was important and she should fight for that. She says everything she’s done since then wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t helped her make that decision.

Patrick says he’s already lost Robin twice and doesn’t want to again. Maxie says if Robin gets hit by a bus, he’s going to be sorry he didn’t do everything possible to keep them together. I swear, the men of Port Charles are lazier than the ones IRL.

Curtis makes small talk with a cop while he gives back the gun evidence. He tells him that his gratuity will be at The Floating Rib tonight. Curtis sees Jordan and says his job was a success. She says good, he can leave now, and he says no chance of that.

Dante asks Hayden who threw the first punch. She says everything is a jumble now, but when things become clear, she’ll contact the police. She goes in to see Nicholas.

Lulu says she doesn’t want a lecture on how Dante isn’t good enough for her. Johnny says he just thinks she can do better. She says, with who? You? And he says, why not?

Paul tells Dillon in retrospect it was probably a bad idea to get close to Tracy, but he thought they could be a family again. Dillon says they weren’t a family to begin with. Paul says he really wanted to connect with Dillon. Dillon says he’s done fine without Paul all these years, and he can do fine again. Paul says he hopes Dillon changes his mind.

Morgan hears Sonny talking in Spanish on the phone, and telling Max that Raj has a shipment coming that they’re going to shut down.

Curtis tells Jordan that he can understand what she likes about Port Charles. He says no one would have suspected how well she was going to do, and that Jordan is going to play a big part in his future.

Valerie sees Dante and says she has a present for him and asks if they can meet later. He tells her that he saw Lulu over the holidays and things are better.

Johnny reminds Lulu that they once loved each other. She says it was a long time ago and their lives took different paths. Johnny says look what going for the good, stable guy got her. She says Rocco is her reason for everything.

Robin says Jason was a good guy and she thinks he still is. He says he doesn’t think so, but his friends keep coming back. He asks what happened between them. Robin says his loyalty to Sonny stopped them from being together. Jason says he must have been an idiot, but Robin tells him he was just being true to himself. She says she went to Paris and he wished her well. He says he’s glad his wishes for her came true. She says he was reckless and fearless and no one thought he’d live past 30, except she believed he had a future and she still does. She kisses him on the cheek and leaves.

Dante, being the moron he is, tells Valerie he still has feelings for her. She says she’s ending things for both their sakes. She says it’s only hurting both of them and she doesn’t want to jeopardize her career either.

Lulu says if there was no Rocco, she would throw down with Valerie herself, but she has to make mom choices.

Morgan hears Sonny giving details about the pier Raj is going to be at later.

Maxie tells Dillon he might change his mind in the future. She says he’s changed, so there’s always a possibility. She asks him to come with her to meet Georgie, who is probably in college by now.

Hayden tells Nicholas what she told Dante. He says it took a tragedy for them to get to a better place in their relationship. He asks if it’s New Year’s Eve tonight, and she says yes, but he’s not going anywhere. He says he wants to kiss her at midnight and she says let’s have a preview now.

Jason, still on the bridge, remembers talking to Robin years ago.

Robin gets back to Patrick’s and he tells her she just missed Maxie. He says Maxie also gave him an earful and they talked about the future. Robin says she saw Jason, and they also talked about the future. She and Patrick gaze lovingly at each other.

Tomorrow, some Franco and some New Year’s Eve.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Mauricio told LisaR to go to Kyle’s store, pick out what she wants and send him the bill for her birthday gift. How do I get on that list? Lisa says she had a store at one point, but it became a liability after being robbed three times in six weeks. (!) Kyle says that her store is doing so well, they’re doing a pop-up shop in South Hampton and they discuss a field trip. Lisa picks out a trendy Moto jacket as her gift. Side note: Rich people always have the best sunglasses.

LisaV’s swan, Hanky, has a stomach infection and needs to go to the vet. She’s afraid he’s not going to make it. She has an event, a white party for Bella magazine, to attend and wants to make sure the swan is fine before she leaves. Swans are kind of nasty and Hanky is no exception. Yep. He drew blood on Ken and Lisa.

LisaV says animals are like children because they depend on you and that makes her love them even more. The vet says Hanky isn’t out of the woods yet, but he’s improving.

Yolanda introduces Erika to Kyle. The three ladies are walking in the park. Kyle asks about Yolanda’s trip to Canada. She saw the pictures on Instagram and says it’s a huge difference between those and the sick Yolanda. She’s decided to keep LisaR’s theories to herself. Kyle says she had been diagnosed with fibromyalgia after her mother died, but a lot of it was due to depression. In her individual interview, Yolanda talks about Lyme disease being a whole lot of things at once. She tells Kyle that you can’t judge someone by how they look and that is so true.

Erika tells Kyle she’s a show girl. She also has a son who’s a cop. She says her ex is a great guy, but it just didn’t work out. Yolanda suggests they go for a drink to introduce Erika to the other women. Erika says she only hangs out with gay men, except for a few exceptional women like Yolanda.

The doctors found silicone in Yolanda’s lymph nodes, so she’s going to Ohio to have her breast implants and whatever is floating around in her removed. I’m wondering if this isn’t the basis of her problem. She also says she breast fed and two of her children have Lyme disease and compromised immune systems. Kyle thinks this is odd, but Yolanda says they grew up on a ranch and in the barn and riding horses. Yolanda adds that there are no studies on how Botox affects the brain, so no more for her. Erika and Kyle balk at this, but Yolanda and I are in agreement here. One day they’re going to find out that all these implants and injections shorten life.

Lisa is getting a wax at home, since she’s going to be in a bathing suit soon. There’s a lot of personal talk between her and the…waxist (?) that doesn’t bear repeating here.

LisaV and Kyle are going to tour the studio at The Young and the Restless. I got to go to a taping of One Life to Live once, and it was a blast. Lisa keeps joking about wanting Eileen’s part and Eileen says it’s like All About Eve, one of my favorite movies. They check out wardrobe first and Eileen asks them to help her run lines. They try using the vending machine for a snack and have about as much luck as the rest of us trying to get it to take a dollar.

In Eileen’s very cool private space, Kyle brings up meeting Erika and they talk about going out for drinks. They also talk about Yolanda. LisaV says she didn’t like the conversation LisaR started about Munchausen’s Syndrome. Eileen says LisaR isn’t malicious and Yolanda must know people are talking. She’s of a mind that LisaR should bring it up before someone else does.

Yolanda introduces Erika to LisaV, who’s the first to arrive at this gorgeous outdoor area of some restaurant. The color scheme is amazing greens and blues. In her individual interview, Lisa says Erika looks like a Barbie she used to have. This isn’t a mean remark at all and she’s kind of right. Kyle joins them next. They pass around a Cartier ring of Erika’s that has a price tag of $189k. Kyle says it’s like wearing a Lamborghini on your finger. LisaV asks what Erika did for it, and Erika says what every woman does and she’s good. Wink, wink. Kyle says Erika might give Lisa a run for her money.

They talk about Yolanda’s children having Lyme’s disease. LisaV says this is the first time she’s heard about it. Yolanda says she doesn’t normally talk about it, but she’s made it her life’s mission to find a cure. Kyle says all the talk about Lyme disease is making her think she has it. I know this feeling. I had a hard time watching Quincy without thinking I had every rare disease described on the show.

Eileen arrives next. Kyle tells Eileen that Yolanda is leaving on Monday for her surgery, so she can’t join them in the Hamptons. Erika says she’s going to be performing in Chicago, but she’ll hop on her plane to get there. She says in Beverly Hills everyone has a private something. Eileen says she wants to be a dance disco queen too.

Erika says she’s been married 15 years and they’ve been together almost 17. She mentions that her husband is 76 and she’s 44. Everyone makes weird faces, which is not only rude, but surprising. LisaV asks how he is in the sack. Erika says he doesn’t even need Viagra. LisaV said she was hoping Ken might slow down, but since he had his hip surgery, he’s even randier. She jokes that she loves him madly and won’t ever leave – unless someone better comes along.

They talk about Ken’s birthday party. LisaV says she wanted to slap Taylor. Yolanda says she heard Taylor had some things to say about her illness, but she hasn’t seen Taylor in 3 years, so she has no idea what’s going on.  In her individual interview, Eileen says LisaV felt guilty about repeating what she’d heard. She feels like she betrayed Yolanda in talking about it, and wants to talk to her. Yolanda says she can’t deal with it right now, and makes an exit. Erika thinks that anyone questioning someone’s illness is making a cheap shot. She wonders who would do something like that, so apparently she didn’t watch the last season of The Real Housewives of Orange County.

Hanky is home and he’s put on weight and doing well. LisaV gives him kisses and he tries to bite her. Back in the pond with you, Hanky. Lisa says maybe her animals are filling the void of the grandchild Pandora hasn’t given her yet.

Yolanda is in the kitchen with her mother and kids. Daughter Gigi is making tomato soup and grilled cheese dippers. Yolanda gushes over Gigi and Bella doing so well in modeling. She says it’s not as easy as people might think. Yolanda goes out with her mom to pick lemons. She says she used to spend hours gardening in her lemon orchard. Yolanda and her mom take a break in a picnic area. Yolanda says she just wants to be healthy and alive and see her babies grow. Yolanda says you don’t think about needing your mom as much when you get older, but there’s no one closer and she needs her mom right now.

The kids bring the soup and sandwiches up to the picnic table. Yolanda shows the kids a folder with her will in it, freaking them out. She tells them it will be in her safe. In her individual interview, she talks about her father’s sudden death and she wants her children taken care of. Yolanda tells them to make sure to take care of her mother if anything happens, freaking them out more.

Next week, Isaac Mizrahi meets with LisaR and the Hamptons trip is on. Also, Kim’s arrest for shoplifting.

Dec29

December 28, 2015 — Is Christmas Over Yet in Port Charles?

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Sabrrrina asks Michael if he’s come to any decisions.

Paul tells Tracy they need to talk, and sees his packed bags. Tracy says that Alice packed his things, so she wouldn’t embarrass herself by throwing them out the window.

Mac joins the reunion with Robin at Patrick’s house. She asks if Felicia knows that he’s moonlighting as a P.I., and he says she does and it’s cool with her.

Nicholas comes to. Hayden tells him he’s in the hospital and asks if he remembers what happened. She says Jason tried to kill him, and Elizabeth pops in out of nowhere with, “Are you sure about that?”
Jason and Spinelli meet in the park. Spinelli is pretty happy to see him, and Jason seems to have a twinkle in his eye. I missed a lot of the shows with the old Jason during the Sam/Elizabeth/Spinelli period, but I wasn’t that crazy about Steve Burton. Nothing personal. I just didn’t see him as that character, but I know I’m going to enjoy Billy Miller playing him.

Michael tells Sabrrrina he thought she was different from lying Kiki. She says she’s sorry, and he says she should have told him the truth to begin with and he would have accepted things. She says she was only with Carrrlos the one time before she and Michael got together, and when she found out she was pregnant, she wanted to believe Michael was the father. He asks if she knew when he asked her to marry him. She says she wasn’t certain because she hadn’t had a sonogram, but reasonably sure.

Paul tells Tracy they’d never made any firm plans and he made a mistake. She says she’d have to care to be hurt and she doesn’t. Oh yes she does.

Elizabeth tells Nicholas that she rode with him in the ambulance and helped keep him alive. She says she doesn’t know what happened. Hayden pipes in that she does. Elizabeth tells her she should make something up for the police. Hayden is like, I can’t believe you’re doing this after all Nicholas has done for you.

Jason tells Spinelli not to call him “Stone Cold” again because he’s on edge as it is. He says he’s angry that Elizabeth kept his identity a secret from him. Spinelli is sympathetic, but Jason says talking about it will just piss him off all over again and because he and Elizabeth share a son, he has to deal with her. Spinelli asks if he and Sam might rekindle things.

Sam shows up at Patrick’s and sees the reunion with Robin. She says had she known, she wouldn’t have come over and asks if Patrick and Robin are getting back together. Geez, it might be nice if she asked how Robin is doing first. Robin says it’s a convoluted story that Patrick should probably tell her, and she’s got a doctor’s appointment anyway. Robin thanks Sam for taking such good care of Emma while she was gone and Sam says it was a pleasure. After Robin leaves, Patrick tells Sam that he didn’t want to hold her up from hope with Jason, and now there’s hope for him and Robin too.

Mac jokingly suggests to Anna that they lock Robin and Patrick in an interrogation room until they get it together. Anna says if she needs help she’ll ask. Mac gets a call from the assistant medical examiner. He ran a DNA check on Sloane and Carrrlos. Mac says they can prove Sloane is dead.

Hayden chastises Elizabeth because Nicolas kept her secret and how he nearly died for it.

Jason tells Spinelli about how he didn’t believe Sam and how unfair he was to her because he thought Elizabeth was honest. Spinelli says he’s sure Sam has forgiven him. Jason says that he could see how Sam grieved for him. Spinelli says that doesn’t apply anymore because he’s back, but Jason says not really since he doesn’t remember squat.

Michael says that Sabrrrina told him that they didn’t know each other well enough to get married and she was right, he didn’t know her. She tells him he’s right that family is about love and asks if he could love her child.

Paul asks for another chance. He says he and Tracy have been doing pretty well up until now. He says they’ve spent the better part of the last 20 years ignoring each other, and he doesn’t want to return to that. He asks for her forgiveness.

Patrick admits that he should have done more to find Robin. Sam says she should have seen that Jake was Jason. Patrick says he isn’t proud of how he handled things, but Robin’s rescue was actually due to Sam still having feelings for Jason.

Jason says Jason Morgan isn’t someone he can hide form because he is he. Spinelli tells him that’s an astute observation, but Jason says it was Carly who told him that. He tells Spinelli about the altercation with Nicholas at The Floating Rib and what happened with Nicholas at the gala. He asks what such an angry guy has done to deserve Spinelli’s loyalty and Spinelli says he’s his best friend.

Elizabeth begs Nicholas to tell the police he fell by accident. Hayden says that Jason almost killed Nicholas and now Elizabeth is trying to protect him. Elizabeth tells Nicholas that she’s sorry she didn’t listen to him, but please make the right decision and to lie. Hayden says she doesn’t care how much history she and Nicholas have, she won’t let Elizabeth get away with this.

Elizabeth sees Robin. Robin says she’s sorry that Helena took Jake for all those years, but Elizabeth says she’s just glad to have him back. Robin also mentions the engagement, and Elizabeth tells her what happened. Robin is a little astonished that Elizabeth could have kept Jason’s identity from him.

Sabrrrina tells Michael she loves him. He says he thought this was what he wanted and they could be a happy family. Sabrrrina says they can do that now, and he says he’s not sure of anything except that she lied and she should have wanted better for the baby.

Anna and Mac go over all the Sloane/Carrrlos stuff. Mac asks what the common denominator is and Anna says the DA.

Tracy talks about the bad year she had with Luke and that she was looking for some entertainment and Paul was there, and she thought he was sincere about reconnecting with Dillon. Paul says he was, but he’d also wanted to reconnect with her. Tracy says he’s trying to get around that he would lose his job if anyone finds out he’s sleeping with Ava and might even go to prison. She asks why she shouldn’t make a announcement to the general public.

Patrick and Sam talk blah-blah-blah about their true loves. Patrick asks if she’s going to try to get back together with Jason.

Jason says the two things he knows are that he was married to Sam and he killed people for Sonny. He reflects on how he killed those goons and it didn’t faze him. Spinelli says he was still a noble guy and that he became friends with Sonny because Sonny was there when Jason really needed him. Spinelli says he’s the fairest person he’s ever met and also a generous guy. He says those who call him killer don’t know him, and those who call him friend do. And that even if he never remembers, he’s still Jason’s friend.

Nicholas asks Hayden how they can play Jason’s arrest to their advantage. Methinks he’s been awake for a while.

Elizabeth tries to justify why she lied. She says she didn’t know Jake Doe was Jason at first, but when she found out, she lied to keep the family together. She says she knows it was selfish and unfair, but she’d do it again. Robin says she’s not there to judge and Elizabeth is punishing herself enough. Well, I don’t mind judging her and I don’t think it’s been nearly enough punishment.

Michael says he understands Sabrrina wasn’t being malicious, she was just scared. Sabrrrina says she’s moving back in with Felix and Michael offers financial help. She says she never wanted his money, she wanted him, and things haven’t changed. She starts to leave and he gives her Christmas presents for the baby. Good riddance to him. Next to Carrrlos, he’s incredibly borrring.

Patrick says they both had miracles. Sam says not every miracle has great timing. (Really? What kind of miracle is that?)

Nicholas says he used his injury to his advantage in calculating his next move. He says thanks to Hayden, his options are wide open in regard to Jason.

Jason says Diane is as good as everyone says she is, getting him out on bail with his record. He tells Spinelli thanks for believing in him and Spinelli says he looks forward to the day Jason believes in himself. Jason says he sees why he valued Spinelli’s friendship and that he still does.

Anna tells Mac that “Sloan” had said he had her gun and Carrrlos’s ID. Mac says Paul killed Sloane, dumped his body in the river with Carrrlos’s ID and both got rid of Sloane and got leverage over Anna. He thinks they have enough evidence to open an investigation.

Tracy says she’s opting to protect her own privacy, and therefore protect Paul’s, but she’s going to find a way to repay him. He says he’d like to part amicably, and she says too bad, get out. Good for her.

Sam says she has no expectations where Jason is concerned. She says the last time she saw him, he was in handcuffs with Elizabeth hugging him. She says whatever happened, probably Nicholas started it and Patrick agrees. He says that he loves Robin, but he’s still grateful for the time he spent with Sam. She says just because it didn’t work out doesn’t mean it wasn’t real. Sam leaves. Jason is probably on her porch. Or a porch somewhere. That’s always where he seems to show up.

Nicholas says he wants to hold off talking to the police until they decide what story to go with and that a freed Jason might be worth more to them than a Jason in prison. Elizabeth is eavesdropping or at least peeping through the room window.

Jason sees Robin on the bridge. Even though they don’t recognize each other’s faces, he asks if she’s Robin, and she says, “Jason?”

Tomorrow, more Robin and Jason and maybe will get to see which story Nicholas concocts. And what about a New Year’s Eve kiss with Sam and Jason?

Brief Note

Most of Bravo is on hiatus, and they’re gearing up for the new season of Untying the Knot. Knot a whole lot to say about that one. Sorry. Just had to. Basically, it’s the divvying up of a divorced couple’s items without going to court. While there have been a few interesting items – and often some duds like on Pawn Stars – and some half-hearted disagreements, I didn’t find this one too interesting.

I’m longing for the Shahs of Sunset myself.

Dec28

December 27, 2015 –Atlanta Wives & Vegas Aftermath in L.A.

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Worst. Taglines. Ever. Aside from Kandi and Kim.

Cynthia gets flowers from Peter. Ho-hum. I am glad to hear her say  sweet notes and flowers aren’t going to make her forget about their problems though.

Kandi goes to see producer, Roger Bobb (whose name we haven’t heard for a while). Kandi has made a single with friend Demetria, and Roger wants to do a video. Kandi’s assistant (DonJuan) and Roger act like it’s unheard of that a pregnant woman should be working.

One of Apollo’s friends is checking in on the boys, bringing them some guy stuff. When the boys go off to play, the friend asks how things are going. Phaedra says Aidan knows what’s going on and how to contact his father. Apollo has apparently been saying that he has no contact with the kids. The friend says Apollo is remorseful that things didn’t work out. Phaedra is like, hindsight is 20/20, and says they need to just focus on being good parents. Why is there even any pretense? She was done with that guy before he left for prison.

Kandi says it’s been a while since she’s done a video and is having a hard time letting people tell her what to do. Todd shows up on a hoverboard. Look out! I heard those things catch fire spontaneously. Kandi says it’s a lot of work to conceal the pregnancy. Porsha and Phaedra stop by to lend support. And get more camera time.

Kenya and Marlo are working out. Kenya says as a workout partner, Marlo is good at looking pretty and being funny. Her friend, Matt, also shows up. She says there’s been some flirtation but there’s a large age gap. They make plans to get together anyway and I see no reason why not. He’s good looking and seems cool. Ooh, he’s younger than her. I thought it was the other way around. She says she doesn’t mind someone younger, but they have to be old enough “to enjoy this ride.” Not sure what she means by that, but I understand her reluctance. I wasn’t interested in the young ones when I was young.

Kandi says she appreciates DonJuan’s protectiveness, but all right already. They have Kandi in amazing jeweled boots and a flowing poncho and it actually seems to hide that she’s pregnant when the wind machine is going. She says she forgot how hard it was to sing and dance at the same time, and to be having a baby along with it makes it even more difficult. Well, yeah.

Cynthia and Peter are having a romantic lunch by the water. Cynthia says that they used to do a lot together, like taking long drives and just talking, but since they’ve gotten so busy with various projects, they barely see one another. Peter toasts to better days while a local artist sketches their portrait.

Matt and Kenya decide to play basketball for their first date. Kenya wins, but I’m not sure how much he let her win. Kenya says that Matt is sweet, and she’s not saying no to a second date, but she’s reluctant. I think she’s saying he’s too nice for her and I kind of get that, but I also think she should give him a chance. I’m not suggesting she give him a chance to be mean, but to show that he’s multi-dimensional.

Aidan is starting kindergarten. Phaedra says Apollo’s incarceration doesn’t only affect him, but affects the whole family. Aidan is so cute and Phaedra gets teary-eyed about him saying he wants to be with her always. It reminds me of the time I was babysitting a four-year-old boy. We were watching Tarzan and he asked if I would go off in the jungle with him on a motorcycle. (Today, he’s in college and just got into trouble for buying a motorcycle without mom’s permission. At least he’s consistent with something.) We flash back to some  of Aidan’s cutest moments over the past five years. Phaedra tells him that he and Dillon will always be her little babies. They say a prayer thanking God for the day and to make Aiden strong and courageous for the day. Phaedra is having a hard time controlling her emotions.

Porsha is having Facetime or whatever with Oliver. Man, I just don’t like her. She’s like, oh no, all you can see my boobs from this angle – tee-hee-hee. Gag. She asks him if he’s ever had a Black girlfriend before and he hasn’t. She talks about working out and says she’s lost 7 pounds. He says he hopes it’s not from her butt. We flash back to her twerking in a thong the night she met him in Miami. (Ugh!) She asks if he’s ready for a relationship and the connection starts to break up. Ha-ha! What? I can’t hear you!

Kim is giving herself a manicure. She says she’s going out on a school night and is for real grown now.

I guess they’re all going to Kandi’s video release because Kandi is looking for something to wear. Todd jokes that he told Phaedra to bring a check. Kandi says don’t bring it up tonight and to be cordial.

No offense to Kim, but Kenya says that she looks like a confused prostitute from DisneyWorld and I tend to agree. She has on some sparkly black swing top with leather hotpants and thigh-high boots. It’s not that she can’t rock them, but um…her outfit really stands out. Peter tells Todd he can’t believe Phaedra hasn’t paid him yet. I can. I’ve been waiting three years for some money that my husband talked me into lending some acquaintances who turned out to be real jerks. Wish me luck. I’m hoping to get on People’s Court.

Kandi makes a speech about the video. Everyone is thanked for coming and the video gets its premiere. Kandi says everyone seems to like it and she thinks it will be a hit. And I guess Kandi ought to know since she’s had a few. Porsha makes some comments that I ignore because she knows nothing about anything.

Phaedra acts like she’s the big person and tells Todd they need to talk at some point. She then talks smack about him to Porsha and some other chick outside. She acts like just because she never released the video, she doesn’t owe him the money. She keeps talking about how Todd got paid for production, but she still owes him a balance. Because you know, if I buy a car and don’t drive it, I don’t have to make the payments any more. Idiots. They start talking about how the friendship between Phaedra and Kandi got messed up, and Porsha puts in some kind of two cents about how it must be Todd’s fault. DonJuan hears them and pops in out of nowhere.

DonJuan says he thinks a lot more than money broke up the friendship. Porsha says he shouldn’t be sticking his nose in. DonJuan tells them that they shouldn’t be gossiping outside of the event when Kandi was nice enough to invite them. He does a perfect impression of these nasty witches, even though they try to deny what they were doing. The group breaks up and DonJuan throws shade at them as they leave. Phaedra says she owes him no explanations because she doesn’t fraternize with her friends’ workers. Okay, Miss Daisy.

Hmm… No Sheree this week?

Next week, DonJuan lets fly to Kandi about Phaedra’s smack talk and Kenya meets with her father.

Vanderpump Rules

It’s the morning after the night before in Las Vegas. Tom has a beer in his hand already. I drank a few days ago and can’t even look at it. Tom and Schwartz got tattoos – Tom’s got an “A” made out of bacon and Schwartz got “Bubba,” both on their rear ends. Huh? I have nothing against tattoos, but…why? I guess I can see Tom’s A for Ariana, but in bacon? And is Katie’s nickname Bubba?

The girls are getting ready for another night at SUR. Katie says the guys will be chasing the clock, coming to SUR straight from Vegas, and Ariana says they’re going to be smelly and tired. Ariana is going to do some show where she and Tom are going to read from old diaries. This actually sounds kind of cool.

The guys are trying to get it together in the car. Ha-ha! Just wait until you’re older and those hangovers last for-ev-er. Lisa calls to see if they’re on their way and Jax says she’s not going to like the way they smell. Lisa meets them at the door and the Toms show her their tattoos. She says they always take stupidity to a whole new level and I concur.

Ariana shakes Tom down for Vegas winnings. Katie can’t believe Schwartz got Bubba tattooed on his ass. I’m hoping this is some kind of joke between them. She says she thinks she likes it, but she hopes he never goes to prison. Ariana asks if Tom and Schwarta got married too. Ha-ha! Ariana, who is not into tattoos, isn’t impressed.

Scheana says out of all the terrible decisions they could have made, getting tattoos is the best of them. Good point. Jax says that Britney is coming to live with him and he can’t escape the girlfriend question anymore. He adds that Kristen is the only single one now. He wants to plan a dual birthday trip with Tom and ask Kristen to join them. Scheana says Kristen is a lot of fun, but they agree to keep it on the down low for now. Kristen is batsh*t crazy and Scheana is delusional.

Tom’s mother is coming for a visit and Ariana puts her bong in the closet. Ariana’s bong, not Tom’s mom’s bong. They have dinner at SUR (where else?) and Terri (Tom’s mother) talks about the first time Tom was in a talent show, with all the other entrants being girls, and won first place. Tom says he takes after his mother. He introduces her to Lisa. Terri is a firefighter and Tom says that’s where he gets his tough side. Tom talks about Terri getting locked out of the house and says it was like Jurassic Park when she kicked down the door. Ariana tells Terri he also brought home a souvenir from Vegas and he confesses about his tattoo.

Kristen is out for drinks with Jax to ask him for dating advice. She claims not to be a crazy bitch any more, but this remains to be seen. She says she has legit things to talk to Ariana about and she already sounds kind of manic. She says she’s been in therapy for a whole 9 months and she’s’ all better now. I’m thinking she needs a few more years on that couch. Maybe forever.

Kristen says she’s been dating broke musicians and is ready for something new. She and Jax mingle in between shots. Kristen kisses some guy and Jax makes a “woo!” sound, but I didn’t think it was a “woo!” moment at all.

Lisa calls Katie “Bubba,” so it must be a joke between her and Schwartz. Ariana says at least he’s making a commitment. Lisa asks if she’d rather have a tattoo on the ass or a ring on string, and she says the tattoo, so Lisa says there’s been progress.

Lala asks James how he’s doing. Apparently they’ve been making out here and there, but they haven’t “sealed the deal.” It sounds like Lala just wants to be friends with make out benefits. James asks her to stop hanging out with Jax, but she says she’ll hang out with who she wants to. James tells her about the Tom tattoos and she tells him about the girls’ slumber party and make out session. She says when she has tequila, she’ll make out with anyone and that Scheana is the best kisser. James suggests the go out for Margaritas.

Katie is on a break, and she and Kristen are chatting. Katie says she’s okay with Kristen now. Kristen says she’d like to apologize to Ariana and SUR is the only place she knows she’ll see her. Kristen says she doesn’t expect them to be friends, but she hangs out with Ariana’s friends so it might make things less awkward.

Kristen goes into SUR and asks Ariana for a drink. Ariana says she doesn’t feel comfortable serving Kristen alcohol. Kristen apologizes and says she was immature and selfish. Ariana says it doesn’t excuse anything. They go back and forth, and in the end Kristen says her actions will speak louder than her words. She says she doesn’t expect to be friends with Ariana. Ariana says her friends are intelligent, wonderful and funny and Kristen is none of those things. She says she doesn’t trust Kristen and would like her to keep her distance. Kristen apologizes again and leaves. In her individual interview, Ariana says Kristen is not that smart, but she’s calculating and Ariana doesn’t trust her in the least. I feel the same way.

Tom says Ariana reminds him of his mom since they’re both straight-up, no bs people. Ariana says she wishes they could hang out some more, but Terri says she’ll come back again. Ariana talks about the diary show she and Tom are doing, and we flash back to some old pictures of Tom doing modeling. Terri asks to see Tom’s tattoo. Everyone hates it, including Tom. Terri says how good Ariana and Tom are together. Tom says Kristen had been his biggest hater even though she was his girlfriend. Ariana tells them about Kristen’s apology and Terri says it’s been good of them to take the high road.

Schwartz goes to a modeling gig, which he says is better than bartending. I’ll take his word for it, since I’ve done neither. Schwartz is a little flabby, so he suggests they spray some abs on him. I guess he’s good at this. I really don’t know. Katie comes to the shoot and sits with Tom while he’s on break. Katie talks about Jax’s upcoming party and says she’s been getting along with Kristen and would like to see her invited. She talks about Tom and Ariana acting like Stassi in regard to Kristen, but I don’t see how you can compare the two.

Tom and Ariana go to the diary show. I didn’t realize it was on stage. Tom jokes that his readings will be like the Dead Sea Scrolls, affecting the world years from now when they’re discovered. This reminds me of the way off Broadway stuff I did when I was first in NYC.  Ariana starts to read and some of it is pretty funny. Jax doesn’t get it. No surprise there. I don’t think his IQ is incredibly high. When it’s Tom’s turn, he says he didn’t keep a diary, but brings a journal of old song lyrics he wrote. This is actually a pretty good idea and I could see being involved with this. Except for this part. Tom shows everyone his tattoo.

Al l the peeps have shown up for support. Afterwards, they’re hanging out at the bar. Lala is talking to Jax and James comes in, giving her a million kisses. James brings her a drink. There’s a bunch of stupid stuff between the three of them that isn’t even worth typing.

They all go to someone’s apartment and eat pizza. Tom talks about the joint birthday party he and Jax want to throw. Jax says something about inviting Kristen and Tom practically freaks just thinking about it. Someone mentions that enough time has passed, but Ariana says that’s no one else’s call. Truth. Katie calls Tom “Stassi,” but that’s not fair. Stassu was an a-hole who tried to dictate who Katie’s friends were. And she did have a point with Kristen, who slept with Jax (Stassi’s then boyfriend) and lied about it, all the while pretending to be Stassi’s best friend. Tom wonders why he’s being questioned when Kristen is an emotional and mental liability. Katie seems to think he should be over it.

Tom gets loud and everyone calls him a nut.

Next time, Britney arrives and Schwartz gets a ring for Katie.

Hope everyone’s Christmas wishes came true! Ho-ho-ho!

Dec24

December 23, 2015 — It isn’t Christmas Without a Trip to GH & the Year 2000

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Dante and Valerie (ugh!) are hanging out in the town square or whatever passes as one. They have their uniforms on, so I guess they’re supposed to be on duty. Valerie says they haven’t really had any one on one time, and wonders where things are going.

At The Haunted Star, Lulu wakes Johnny up. She tells him she wants some answers and he tries to flirt. She wants to know the next step in his plan against Valerie. He says he’s waiting for a call from an associate.

Carly brings Sam back to her and Sonny’s place. Sam tells Sonny what went on at the gala.

Elizabeth runs to Nicholas, who’s lying there half conscious. Hayden freaks, and tries to pummel Jason a little, but it’s like a fly batting at an elephant.

Dante says he doesn’t blame Valerie for feeling confused and things are complicated. She asks him if he’s having second thoughts. When he hesitates, she says she thinks she’s got her answer. He says there is no answer and that just because he’s separated doesn’t mean he still doesn’t have feelings for Lulu and that Rocco comes first. He says he knows they can have something special and they kiss. Not sure where those feelings for Lulu went. Now he’s confusing me. Someone is watching them with binoculars.

Lulu tells Johnny that she hates Valerie, but doesn’t want her dead. He says he doesn’t want a murder rap, so he doesn’t either. She says she also doesn’t want Valerie physically hurt, and Johnny is a little insulted. He tells Lulu that he spoke with Valerie when he messed with her car, and that he’s discovered her vulnerabilities. Johnny tells Lulu to trust him and that when he’s done, Dante won’t want anything to do with Valerie. He gets a text and jets.

Laura comes by The Haunted Star to check on Lulu. She sees Lulu making the bed and says she thinks she knows what’s going on and it’s a big mistake.

Carly gets a call about an ambulance being called to the MetroCourt and leaves to go back.

Jordan shows up at the MetroCourt with a policeman. Hayden tells Jordan that Jason threw Nicholas off the balcony. Elizabeth tries to keep Nicholas from passing out.

Johnny meets up with his associate and looks through the binoculars. He says Lulu deserves more than that. Dante asks Valerie what she’s doing on New Year’s and does she want to come over and watch the bowl games? (My favorite being the Bran Flakes Bowl.) Dante gets a text from the commissioner telling him to go to the hospital. He leaves and Johnny says it’s go time. He “runs into” Valerie who is calling him Greg.

Lulu says Laura is jumping to the wrong conclusion and that she’s cleaning up after a friend who stayed over at the last minute. Laura is like, hmmm, and Lulu says she doesn’t want to talk about it. Laura says that she spent too much of her life running from things that hurt her. She says she knows Lulu is angry at Dante and wants to punish him and make him look like a fool. Lulu says she’s not having revenge sex. Laura says okay, but she can see something is bothering Lulu. She says Lulu has to find a way to accept Dante’s infidelity and has to decide whether she wants him back or not. She says Lulu thinks she’s in control, but her emotions are running the show and could lead to something she regrets.

The ambulance comes and gets Nicholas.

Hayden says everything happened fast and Nicholas didn’t have a chance to defend himself. Jordan asks if Jason has anything to add and he says not without a lawyer. Carly shows up and doesn’t believe what Hayden said. She says that Jason should see a doctor since he has a nasty cut on his hand. Jordan suggests they all go to the hospital and tells the policeman to escort Jason there.

Sam asks if there’s been any change in Sonny’s condition. He says no, but just believe in him. So clap if you believe in mob bosses. Sam tells him about the break up with Patrick and he says Jason came by the gym and told him everything. Sam tells him Nicholas was in on it too. Sam is concerned that if something happens to Nicholas, Jason will get blamed. Well, something did and he is to blame.

Carly comes to the hospital with Jason and says he needs to see a doctor. Jordan says he’s a person of interest and needs to be questioned. Dante comes in and Jordan tells him to handle Jason’s interrogation. She tells him Nicholas might not make it.

Lulu says Laura is reading too much into her cleaning the boat. Laura asks why Lulu won’t tell her who was there then. Dante calls Lulu and tells her about Nicholas.

Nicholas is getting defibrillated. (Wow. That’s actually a word. I thought I was making it up.) Jordan asks Hayden to tell her exactly what happened. Carly asks Elizabeth what happened, but Elizabeth says she doesn’t know and for once isn’t lying. Dante questions Jason.

Johnny says Valerie doesn’t look happy to see him. She wonders if his walk in the park is a coincidence. He says she’s right, he wasn’t just going for a walk and he should tell her why he’s really there.

Jason wants a lawyer, and rightly so. Hayden tries to act like Jason just came out of nowhere and pushed Nicholas off the balcony. Carly still isn’t buying it.

Johnny says he was listening to the kids caroling at the church. He says he gets emotional about Christmases past and he didn’t want to tell her. He says he has something to take care of and she asks if she can help.

Lucas says he was able to stabilized Nicholas and that it’s good Elizabeth was there to keep him from bleeding out. He says they won’t know anything for sure until Nicholas wakes up.

Laura shows up and asks how Nicholas fell. Hayden says he didn’t fall, that Jason pushed him.

Sonny says he learned a long time ago that you can’t force Jason to do anything, that he has to learn it for himself. Sam talks about her conversation with him on the balcony. She says they were able to talk and even agree, and they agreed they don’t know what happens next. Sam says she’s going to live in the moment with no expectations. Sonny says they’ve been through a lot and he’s in her corner.

Sam’s phone rings. It’s Carly. She tells Sam not to say anything to Sonny, but Jason needs her and just get to the hospital.

Laura gets in Jason’s face. Carly says Jason was defending himself and if anything, Nicholas wanted to kill Jason. Jordan asks Dante if Jason said anything and Dante says Jason wants a lawyer. Jordan places Jason under arrest and reads him his rights. Carly says Hayden is a liar and Jordan can’t base a case on what she alone says. Jordan acts like it’s unheard of for anyone to ask for a lawyer and that’s a reason to arrest him. Carly says she’ll call Diane and have her meet Jason at the station.

Laura is freaking a little and tells Hayden to start talking.

Lulu thanks Dante for calling her and they hug. Too bad Valerie can’t see that.

Johnny says he wanted to make a donation to the church, but all he had was a 50 dollar bill. Valerie says she thinks she has change and digs in her purse. Johnny makes an okay sign to his accomplice

Laura tells Hayden to look her in the eye and tell her she told the police the complete truth. Hayden says she did. Lucas comes out and Laura begs to see Nicholas. Lucas says okay, and Laura goes into Nicholas’s room. Dante wants to go in too, but Lulu tells him that Lucas said just family and follows Laura. Hayden tries to wiggle in herself, but Jordan wants to talk to her.

Elizabeth asks to have a moment alone with Jason. He says good for her, saving Nicholas’s life, and asks why she’s there. Elizabeth says she knows Hayden must be lying because she knows him.

Johnny sits on a bench with Valerie while she gives him change. Mystery guy takes candid snaps and I get it now. It’s going to look like she’s hanging out with a fugitive. Bye-bye Dante and her job.

Nicholas seems to be coming around and Laura tells him he’s been given a second chance and there’s a reason for that.

Carly tells Sonny what happened. He asks how Nicholas is and Carly says he’ll live. Sonny says that’s good because Jason won’t be charged with murder, but Nicholas will lie through his teeth. Carly says that’s what she’s afraid of.

Elizabeth tells Jason that she’ll always be there for him and hugs him. Sam sees it through the door window.

Tomorrow, Robin comes home.

Happy Holidays

Since most of the shows are in reruns this week, that’s all she wrote for today. Once again though, I recommend the Then and Now with Andy Cohen retrospectives. Tonight is the year 2000 and we know lots happened in that year. Starting with the New Year’s Eve when everyone waited for a Y2K catastrophe that didn’t happen. I really didn’t pay too much attention to all that, and hoarded nothing. I actually forgot all about it until around 2 am, when I turned to my husband and said, “I guess no planes are falling out of the sky.”

Dec23

December 22, 2015 — Port Charles & Beverly Hills

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

We come in a little late because ABC news can’t wait.

Hayden and Nicholas arrive at the gala. I’m confused since it seemed like it was wrapping up at the end of yesterday’s episode.

Sam is sorry she told Jason that she doesn’t love Patrick the same as she loves him. He’s like, no worries, because he’s dense and doesn’t understand how she’s feeling.

Idiot Elizabeth wonders where Jason and Sam are. Can’t this witch give it a rest? I hope someone dumps the punchbowl over her head. She also sobered up the quickest I’ve ever seen anyone do it.

Julian gives Alexis a gorgeous ring in the middle of the basically empty gala. Why he didn’t give it to her when he actually proposed is a mystery to me.

Jordan arrives late. She tells Maxie she heard that Paul was the keynote speaker and says the DA has a talent for keeping people happy.

He’s about to make Ava happy, that’s for sure. And where does she find these amazing earrings? (She’s not wearing much else, so they really stand out.)

Michael tells Sabrrrina they need to talk about the baby. He says everyone keeps saying how big the baby is and he wants to know if there’s a reason why. Is there something in the Port Charles water system that makes people thick in the head? Duh. Why does he think that might be?

Patrick sees Robins body on a slab in a mausoleum (that just happens to be on the grounds). I don’t think she’s really dead though because I can see her breathing. Geez. Patrick kisses her and this is reminding me of the end of Romeo and Juliet, so I’m thinking maybe she took something to make herself appear dead.

Robert and Anna have their guns on Jerry. I guess his lackeys flew the coop without him.

Robin opens her eyes. Surprise! Maybe she can go home now. Or at least have a bathroom break.

OMG THEY’RE STARTING TO RUN OUT OF CHAMPAGNE AT THE GALA    ! Get with it, Carly.

Alexis and Julian make googly eyes at each other and Julian gets the last two glasses of champagne for a toast. Very thoughtful of him to take the last two.

Elizabeth asks Molly if she’s seen Sam. What’s wrong with her? Never mind. It’s too long a list. Molly says she thinks Sam left.

Jason says he wishes he could love Sam the way she needs him to. She says she’s made peace with it and when she says she loves him, she means she loves the life they once had together. He asks what now, and she says they can start off being friends and take it from there.

Paul says there’s so much going on at the gala, he won’t be missed. That’s funny, since there are so few people wandering around, it looks like the end of a high school dance. Ava asks if he’s going to be seen with a known criminal now or is he going to arrest her? He says he’s going to make sure she stays right where she is.

Sabrrrina tells Michael that he was there when Dr. Lee said the baby is fine. He says that’s not what he’s talking about and Monica said the baby is due in a few weeks. He asks if he’s the baby’s father and she says no. Good for her. And good for him, finally figuring it out.

Robin asks what Patrick is doing there. He says Jerry told them she was dead and she explains she took a drug to fool Jerry and that one of the guards helped her. She suggests they get the blip out of there.

Hayden tells Nicholas that a man who knows what he wants and won’t back down is incredibly sexy. She adds they’re in enemy territory, but she wants everyone to know she’s here to stay.

Jason asks if he and Sam could really be friends, since technically they’re past that. He says he wouldn’t call it just friendship. She asks what he wants to do. He says he doesn’t know, but do they have to call it anything and can’t they just be there together. Did they run out of dialogue?

Carly rsees Elizabeth. She tells Elizabeth that Jason and Sam are being all close and to leave them alone. She notices Elizabeth is still wearing the engagement ring and tells her to take it off.

Ava is all tied up. Literally. Looks like we’re going 50 Shades of Grey here.

Jerry says his problem is he’s too generous and he should have shot them on sight. He starts babbling about some restaurant in Rome and Anna asks Robert to get someone to take him away before she shoots him. Robert calls for reinforcements.

Patrick explains how he, Anna and Robert got there. Robin asks about Emma and he says she’s fine. Robin says she’s sorry for lying and she never stopped loving him. She says she understands he’s with Sam now and she doesn’t want to interfere with his new life. Anna is looking for Patrick and he calls to her. She sees Robin and is pretty startled. Lots of hugs.

Anna says she thought she’d lost Robin again and Robin says she can’t get rid of her that easy. Robin explains how the guard helped her to fake her death. Anna says they’ll make sure the guy who helped gets amnesty, but they’re going to put Jerry away forever. Robin says she’s been dreaming of this day.

Michael asks Sabrrrina if she was cheating on him. She says it was just a onetime thing. Then idiot Michael asks if she picked someone up at a bar because that must be the only answer. She says no and he finally gets a clue that it’s Carrrlos’s baby.

Elizabeth says she’ll take the ring off when she’s good and ready, and that Carly has no idea who Jason is now. Carly tells her how stupid she is and she’d best not drag Jason back into her delusional world.

Tracy tells Monica that Paul has a surprise for her. I think she’s going to be surprised, but I don’t think Paul is the one who set it up.

Dillon makes a speech about Toys for Tots and introduces India Arie. She sings Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, which is one of my favorites. If you’ve never seen Judy Garland sing it in Meet Me in St. Louis, it’s actually a sad song. India also looks smashing in a glittery gold number with a feathered turban.

During the song, we get snippets of what everyone is doing and Elizabeth goes up on the roof, where I can only hope she’s going to throw herself off.

Apparently, the surprise is a key to the same hotel room where Paul and Ava are going at it and Tracy walks in. Surprise all around and I wonder if it’s Ava who sent her the key.

Jerry is arrested. The inspector, or whatever he is, tells Robert that the local police will be there soon. Jerry says Robin could have made millions with her research, but she was too altruistic. Save it, Jerry. Anna comes in and says nothing about Robin being alive. After Jerry is taken away, she tells Robert to come with her.

Emma is probably going to need therapy for the rest of her life.

Sabrrrina admits it’s Carrrlos’s baby. Michael asks why she lied. She says it’s because she loves him and she wanted him to be the baby’s father. He says, but he’s not and that if Carrrlos wasn’t dead already, he’d kill him.

Paul tries to present Tracy with a gift of a pin commemorating their hard work on the gala. It’s not going over too well.

Sam asks what they’re going to do now. She says she and Danny are busy until after Christmas and after that who knows. Sam gets a call from her mom and Jason says they’ll pick this up later. She leaves. The revolving door happens and Nicholas and Hayden come out on the balcony.

Robert reunites with Robin. Anna suggests they get out of “this hellish place.”

Tracy says she should have realized that Paul was the same selfish bastard he always was. She wonders what his constituents are going to think about him being in bed with a criminal.

Michael says that Sabrrrina must not think much of him, since he would have loved the baby as his own. Uh-oh. Sabrrrina slips and says she thought Carrrlos was dead. She corrects herself and dum-dum Michael just shrugs it off. He says if he hadn’t shown the sono to Monica, he might never have known. She asks if there’s any way they can put this behind them and still be a family. Oh what a tangled web we weave and all that.

Carly asks Sam how things went. Sam says she and Jason managed to connect, but things are different. Carly says Jason is still the same inside and Sam has to fight for him. Sam says they’re going to figure things out together.

Nicholas tells Jason he should thank him. He says that Elizabeth loved him and now that he knows the truth, what has he gained? He says his grip on ELQ is iron clad and asks if Jason is going back to his old life working for Sonny. Nicholas pretty much sucker punches Jason.

Robin tells Patrick how much she’s missed Emma and that she’s spent every waking moment wishing she could get back home. She tells him she wants him to be happy with Sam and he tells her they broke up. He says they have a lot of catching up, but there’s plenty of time to do it. He says they have the rest of their lives.

Sabrrina says she lied because she wanted the baby to have the best possible father and she loves him. She says they can still be a family, but it looks like Michael isn’t having any.

Tracy calls Paul a lying, selfish, pathetic shell of a man. She tells him they might share a son, but she never wants to see him again and storms out. Ava tells Paul he’d better hope Tracy doesn’t tell anyone.

Maxie, Dillon, Nina and Franco toast to Crimson’s coverage of the gala. Nina says let’s go the office now and check out the photos.

Wah-wah-wah. Elizabeth takes off her ring.

Jason clocks Nicholas. Whoops! The next punch sends Nicholas off the roof.

Tomorrow, repercussions from that punch.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Giggy! LisaV was pretty upset about the mini horse having leg problems, so some friends of hers (Frank, Tina and Houston) have gotten her another mini horse. It arrives with its companion, a baby mini horse, and they’re both the most adorable things on earth. Lisa now officially has 8 swans, 7 dogs and 2 mini horses. I guarantee, these horses are going to have the best lives ever. I’m still trying to figure out how to get Lisa and Ken to adopt me.

Erika is on the phone with her husband, Tom. She says they talk briefly four or five times a day, but he’s a pretty busy guy. They make plans to meet for dinner. Erika says Tom has always been supportive of her career as Erika Jayne and never told her what to do, but she doesn’t tell him how to practice law either.

She’s trying on some costumes – mostly netting with sparkly things to cover her lady parts. She’s having a hard time squeezing into one of them. She says every woman has a bit of Erika Jayne inside of her dying to get out. Yeah, if I could squeeze into that costume myself, she’d get out.

Eileen and husband Vince meet for lunch. All of these people work so much, it seems to be the norm. Meet you for a meal somewhere. Eileen talks about how Vince’s dad, Dick Van Patten, went to the track all of the time with his friends. His motto was: tennis in the morning, poker in the evening, racing in the afternoon. Vince has been to the races and swears Dick was with him, since he won $600.

Eileen apologizes to Vince for being bitchy. She says sometimes it seems like he has all this freedom, while she’s running around handling everything. He says she shouldn’t attack him first thing in the morning. She says women see it as expressing themselves, but men see it as an attack. Eileen is pretty astute about male/female relationships. He says they shouldn’t talk about anything until 9ish. She says it would be hard to hold it in until then. Eileen says she’s a lot more accommodating than Vince is. She didn’t say those words, but I’m translating the wife language.

LisaR is out for lunch with her daughters. Everyone gets salads. Sigh. The family takes a trip to Canada every summer where Harry used to vacation as a boy. She says instead of sending the kids to camp, they have their own camp. She says raising teenagers ain’t for sissies. I believe her. Lisa says she doesn’t even listen to them anymore and it’s like ♫ la-la-la ♫.

Kyle and daughters go to get ear piercing. The eldest daughter is getting an extra piercing and the littlest is getting hers done. I didn’t pierce my ears until I moved away from home. Kyle says teenage daughters are experts at manipulation. The older one getting the extra hole is being a total baby. Geez, I used self-piercers and pushed them through early because I got impatient. Way to freak out the little one too. Oh, I see, the little one (Portia) only has one ear done and is getting the other one. This probably happened the last time. Looks like she’s sticking with just one this time too.

LisaV calls Ken to the back yard and tells him happy birthday. Lisa’s friends are waiting with the little horses. Ken tries to act happy, but in his individual interview, he says he knows he’s going to be picking up a lot of poop. You’d think they’d hire someone for that, but they are pretty down-to-earth. Lisa says Ken is speechless. Yep.

Yolanda says she hasn’t done anything and she’s exhausted. Erika and Tom come over for a visit. Yolanda says they’ve really been there for her. David is joining them (schmuck). Erika says it’s good to see Yolanda smiling. David says he has to go to Europe soon for some kind of Andre Bocelli thing with the Pope. Yolanda suggests Erika perform with David, but Erika says she’d probably burst into flames. Erika explains that Erika Jayne isn’t exactly Pope material.

Kyle comes to pick up Portia from her acting coach. Kyle says Portia is the only one who’s expressed an interest In acting and she wants to be supportive. She says she got into acting by default, because when her parents divorced, they needed the income. (Way to take care of the family, dad.) She says it will be better for Portia since it will be something fun and not a job. Kyle says for her it was a positive experience, but it’s not for everyone. No kidding. She talks about Kim feeling more pressure, and that people point at her being a child actress as the reason for her addictive behavior, but she thinks either you are or you aren’t, and I agree.

Yolanda is looking forward to being with David so they can “reconnect their souls.” I feel sick because I know they’re divorcing now. She has a whole slate of supplements she takes and says that if someone told her to eat bark, she would because if she goes down, she wants to go down fighting.

LisaR is trying to do Facetime or something with Harry. She’s juggling the phone and the iPad, and I can’t really figure out what she’s doing. She says that technology isn’t her friend. Apparently so. Harry and the girls are already in Canada, but Lisa’s going back and forth because she’s working. She has a QVC clothing line and is very proactive. She’s not one of those celebrities that just stick their name on something.

Commercial break and important information – Vanderpump Rules will be on Sunday.

Yolanda enjoys being out in the country with David. (Oddly enough, they’re also in Canada.) They’re in a beautiful lake area surrounded by mountains, and I’m thinking he doesn’t deserve this – or her. She says her illness has been very taxing on the relationship. She says he gets impatient, but she understands because they used to do everything together. They go out on a speedboat.

LisaV is having a coming out party for the mini horses. LisaR shows up first. She says if anyone should be first, it’s her, and she feels a sense of entitlement here. Giggy! Ken says it’s been a long birthday and LisaR says I’ll bet. Kyle arrives next and Ken leaves with my precious Giggy. Kyle gets kind of annoyed because the girls always bring up Kim. LisaV says something about Kim trashing her on Twitter and calling her a phony. She says she tweeted back that she’s always been supportive of Kim. I’m wondering why all these adults are on Twitter so much. LisaR flashes back to the reunion where Kim said she wouldn’t do anything for a buck, then they show a clip from Sharknado 3.

LisaR says she was looking at Instagram pictures of Yolanda in Vancouver and Yolanda was looking good. She says she’s wondering what Yolanda is trying to accomplish with confusing pictures, that one minute she’s got needles in her arm and looking sick, and the next she’s on a yacht having the time of her life. She says people are questioning it and it’s awkward. In her individual interview, Kyle suggests LisaR should probably keep it to herself.

Lisa brings up Munchausen’s Syndrome and reads the definition. LisaR says that it’s something people can create themselves, making themselves sick even though they’re not. Kyle says Yolanda’s symptoms match a lot of things. Eileen arrives and LisaV suggests they change the subject.

Eileen says she can tell something’s up, so what is it. She asks LisaR for an abridged version. Lisa explains how she was telling them about people questioning Yolanda and the Instagram photos. Is this turning into a Brooks thing? LisaV says they’re probably people who don’t know her and LisaR feels guilty for not having Yolanda’s back. She thinks she should say something to Yolanda, but LisaV thinks that’s a bad idea. So do I.

The ladies see the horses and there’s a lot of squeeing. Kyle says it was built up so much, she expected them to be about Barbie sized. They’re making the poor horses nervous and the horses ditch them. LisaR tells Kyle that she feels badly about saying something regarding Yolanda.

Next week, a swan bites Ken and Eileen approaches Yolanda. Erika also says her husband is 76, but I honestly wouldn’t have guessed he was that old.

I dunno. Is it possible some of these reality stars could be manufacturing illnesses because of a need for attention? I don’t think I’d ever question it, since there are illnesses where people have good days and bad days, and don’t necessarily look sick. That’s actually a pet peeve of mine when someone says, “Well, you don’t look sick.” Well, you don’t look like a sick person just gave you a black eye.

Dec22

December 21, 2015 — GH and a Ruling Vanderpump

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Jason and Elizabeth see each other at the gala. Elizabeth says she’ll leave, but Franco comes along and says if anyone should leave, it’s Jason. Elizabeth tells Franco he must have wanted to see her humiliated, but he says he’s probably the only one who doesn’t want to see that. Obrecht is delighted to see Franco, and tells Elizabeth it’s mandatory to attend the gala or she’ll be working a double-shift on Christmas.

Sam shows up in a Moto jacket and jeans. Maxie asks if she’s making a statement, and she says no, she just wants to get the check to Alexis and get out. Christina and Molly make stupid poses as Dillon takes pics.

Ava is looking at the stuff for the silent auction. Paul comes up behind her and says he wants to place a winning bid, but I don’t think he’s talking about the auction. She asks if he’ll escort her to the gala.

Sonny is on the phone talking about a guy at Ava’s art gallery. Carly comes downstairs in a magnificent navy blue sparkly dress and chandelier earrings. She tells Sonny he best get ready for their first event as newlyweds, but he says something came up.

Jerry tells Patrick that Robin was shot before he got there and he has the picture to prove it. I’m not buying this in the least. I think Henrico and Robin faked the photo. It looks awfully staged.

Paul says that escorting a known criminal isn’t good for the DA’s image, so he and Ava will have to keep things “under the covers” for now. They make a date to meet later.

Tracy tells Nina you have to watch out for the Jeromes, since they always have a hidden agenda.

Alexis tries to get Sam to stay, but she says the first people she saw were Jason and Elizabeth, so no thanks.

This is probably needless to say, but everyone looks fabulous in their formalwear.

Sam tries to cut out. Alexis tells Julian she’s going through a rough time and they have to be supportive. Laura sees Sam and says she wants to apologize.

Jerry says not his fault. It was all Helena’s doing. Patrick says Robin knew she was going to die from what she said during their last phone call. Jerry is such a tool, he tries to blame the Scorpios for not looking for Robin hard enough. Anna and Patrick are basically chatting and I’m wondering why someone isn’t pummeling Jerry.

Sam tells Laura no worries; she knows Laura had her reasons.

Michael tells Sabrrrina that he’s concerned about something Sonny said regarding Carrrlos.

Jason tells Monica he wants to give Carly back her phone (what’s he doing with her phone?), but he thinks she’s hiding from him so he’ll stay longer.

Julian asks Sam to stick around because he wants to talk to her and her sisters.

Tracy makes a little speech about Toys for Tots and introduces Paul. Paul is waiting in the wings and gets an envelope with panties and a hotel key in it. He shoves the panties into his pocket, so I’m sure this will cause an embarrassing moment later.

Sonny says he’s having Ava checked out and he’s waiting for his calls to be returned. Carly says she knows why he’s not going and it has nothing to do with work.

Paul talks about the gun amnesty program and how Monica has offered a thousand dollars per gun turned in. He says he hopes Monica has her checkbook ready since 99 guns have already been turned in. Paul thanks Tracy for welcoming him back into her life again. Rico Suave!

Sonny says if he can nail Ava, he can turn around the custody case. Carly thinks he just doesn’t want to go because he’s in a wheelchair. He says when he can dance with her, he’ll go out with her. She says they’ve had a few turns at first man and wife dances, but the fifth one will be the best.

Julian tells the girls that he wants to propose to Alexis, and asks their permission.

Sabrrrina is with Felix and the toys. She’s pretending she’s been recruited to help, but she’s really hiding from Michael.

Monica asks Michael if he has a sonogram picture. He just happens to be carrying it in the pocket of his tux. She looks at it and says there’s something wrong.

Laura tries to apologize to Jason, but a drunk Elizabeth interrupts. She says she hopes Laura has more luck with forgiveness than she did and tells him Laura was in on the deception.

Robert wants to know where Robin’s body is. Anna says they’ll kill Jerry slowly if he doesn’t comply. Two guys with guns come in and Jerry tells them to show them Robin’s body and then kill them. Um…Anna and Robert have guns too.

Sam tells Julian he has her vote. Christina says she’s in too. Alexis comes by and Christina says Molly was arguing with him. Alexis is like, oh come on now. Molly says Julian needs to come clean and works her “yes” into the conversation. She tells Alexis she hopes Alexis loves Julian enough to accept what he’s going to tell her.

The girls say “hi” to Carly and Sam sees Jason across the room with Elizabeth and Laura. Christina says Sam looks a little sad and Sam says it will take time to get over everything and she’s got to go.

Elizabeth tells Laura to take some of the burden of Jason’s rage. Laura apologizes to Jason for not telling him who he really was and he says she can make it up to him by not letting Elizabeth drive home.

Carly tells Jason he’s clearly not having a good time and she releases him from his duty as a guest.

Monica wonders why Sabrrrina hasn’t said she’s further along.

Sabrrrina tells Felix her worries about Michael. Felix says there’s no way he could know about Carrrlos being the baby’s father and he must have wanted to talk about Sonny getting shot. A Santa comes into the room with more toys and Felix leaves. I’ll bet I know who that Santa is. And I’m right. It’s Carrrlos!

I can’t believe the Scorpios just put down the guns without an argument. Anna causes a little disruption as the gunmen are leading them out and Robert gets his gun back. Jerry curses them out and basically runs.

Carrrlos tells Sabrrrina he’s leaving the country with a new identity and that he wanted to see her one more time. He gives her the information to find him. Michael knocks at the door.

Christina visits Sonny (that was a quick party!). He’s looking at photos and she asks if he’d like company going down Memory Lane.

Paul tells Tracy he has something to give her after the gala. Dillon takes their picture and Paul gets a phone call. It’s Ava asking if he got her gift and asks him if he’d like to know the room number that goes with the key. Of course he does, and she tells him not to be too long.

Obrecht tells Nina she’s her only niece and she wants to make peace. Nina is okay with that and tells her Merry Christmas.

Alexis is going buggy, wondering what Julian wants to tell her. He suggests they go somewhere else.

Ever understanding Laura tells Elizabeth that she recognizes that Elizabeth was hurting and wanted to hurt others. Save it for Dr. Phil, Laura.

Sam is having a drink somewhere private and Jason sees her. She says she wanted to be alone, but he doesn’t go anywhere.

Paul goes to Ava’s hotel room where she has a romantic atmosphere with candles going on.

Tracy toasts to the gala’s success. Monica thanks Carly for getting Jason to come. Carly congratulates her on becoming a great grandmother.

Carrrlos says ho-ho-ho to Michael and Michael says he’ll take it from there and gives Santa Carrrlos a tip. Not sure what that was about. Michael tells Sabrrrina they have to talk about the baby.

Julian says he wants to talk to Alexis privately and she asks if it’s that bad. Julian says a bunch of romantic stuff. He says that when she asked him to get his life together, he realized she wanted him to be the man he was when they first met. He gives her a bunch of compliments and says he changed for her because he couldn’t imagine life without her. He says he wants to spend the rest of his life making things up to her and asks her to marry him. She says no. Just kidding. She says yes. More romantic stuff and they kiss.

Christina tells Sonny there are no pictures of the two of them. He tries to sound hip and says some stuff about her putting them on Facebook and the pics going viral. She takes a picture of them with her phone.

Elizabeth thanks Laura for not giving up on her. My, she sobered up quickly. Laura says she wants to find Sam so she can properly apologize. Elizabeth says she doesn’t see Jason either. Geez, give it a rest.

Jason apologizes to Sam for not believing her. He says he should have shown her the same faith and respect that she showed him. Sam asks if he feels he would have been better off not knowing and he says no chance.  He says he doesn’t see her ring and she says she and Patrick called it quits. She says she loves Patrick, but not the way she loves him.

Tomorrow, India Arie will be performing and Carly and Elizabeth tangle.

Vanderpump Rules

I just love that slo-mo stuff in the intro. Not the song so much though.

Ariana tells Katie and Scheana that Peter is planning a guys’ trip to Vegas the day after her birthday. She thinks that the trip “reeks of Jax and Peter,” since they’re both freaking out over having serious girlfriends.

Peter asks Lisa for time off to go to Vegas. Lisa reminds them of the trouble they’ve had every time they go there, including Jax getting a girl pregnant. Lisa wonders why the two of them would want to test themselves, since they’re both in serious relationships. She forbids them from inviting Shay.

James tries to talk to Lala, who hasn’t spoken to him since he rolled in the hay with Lauren.  He tells her about the girls getting something together for Ariana’s birthday and it looks like she wasn’t invited.

Ariana tells Tom that she didn’t invite Lala, Kristen or James to the party. Tom says it seems like she’s not too keen on the guys going to Vegas. In the meantime, Schwartz is trying to convince Katie it’s not a guys’ trip; it’s just a birthday celebration for Peter. Neither Ariana nor Katie want the Toms going to Vegas. Tom tells Ariana he loves her smile and Ariana asks for “macaroni with that cheese.” Ha-ha!

While they’re setting up for Ariana’s birthday party, Peter is telling Tom about how they’re going to be playing with real bulldozers in Vegas. Huh? Tom suggests he keep the plans on the down low and not take attention away from Ariana today. Katie tells Peter’s girlfriend that she’s not appreciating the Vegas trip.

For the party, Ariana is dressed like a Japanese Anime unicorn. Okay. Jax is wearing a seriously stupid giant cowboy hat. The guys are in the kitchen discussing the trip. Tom says he wants to talk to Ariana about the trip, but Schwartz says maybe now is not the best time since she’s having fun on some kind of acrobatic equipment.

The party has a carnival flavor. Ariana says she’s reaching back to her childhood and brining in all the cool stuff she remembers from parties and adding “performance enhancing drugs.” By that, I think she means tequila.

Schaena tells Faith she’s sorry she couldn’t pay much attention when Faith was hired, but she was going through a lot of stuff. She says she feels badly that Lala wasn’t invited, and that she likes Lala, but is having a hard time convincing Katie and Ariana to like her.

Schwartz tells Katie he’s going to Vegas and she starts to cry. Katie says their relationship is the biggest thing in her life, but it seems like it’s not a priority to Schwartz. She says she’s tired of being the one who has to bend in the relationship. Schwartz says after this trip, there will be minimal bending.  I tell her to get used to it.

Ariana and Katie discuss the guys going away. Ariana says she’s trying to make a fun day, but she misses her father who passed away a couple of years ago. I can totally understand where she’s coming from. She says she doesn’t want Tom going away right now because she doesn’t want to be alone. She starts to cry and Scheana comes over. Katie says it’s okay to cry and that she cries during The Price is Right.  I’d be crying because I was desperate enough to watch The Price is Right.

The cake comes out covered in sparklers. Ariana says she’s always wanted an epic birthday party and today it’s happening. Tom asks her if she had fun and she says it’s possibly the best birthday ever.  She says that every year her father would give her Lou Gehrig’s speech on her birthday, and tell her that the day she was born was the best day of his life. She says it’s hard to talk about and she feels like a wimp crying. Tom says he’s always going to be there for her. He tells her that Peter has set up a construction yard with bulldozers for the guys in Vegas. Ariana says there’s no point in continuing the discussion because he’s never going to get it.

The guys leave for Vegas with Peter driving. Tom says he’s gone back and forth, but he hasn’t given Ariana a reason not to trust him. In his individual interview, Jax mentions Miami Girl and we flash back, but I always thought that smelled of a set up. Someone farts. I missed who it was, but it was probably Jax.

Lala asks Faith how the party was. Faith says it was great, but she missed Lala. Ariana and Katie join them, and Ariana gripes about the extra work with the guys gone. Lisa comes in and asks about the birthday party. It’s obvious that Lala wasn’t invited, and Ariana says she only wanted to invite close friends because it was her 30th. Ariana shows a video on her phone to prove other people weren’t invited. In her individual interview, Lala talks about feeling left out and doesn’t get why people treat her mean, even though she knows she’s hot. I could think of a few reasons.

Lisa suggests the girls go out and have fun to teach the guys a lesson. She says she wouldn’t come home until the morning and wouldn’t answer her phone. She tells them don’t get mad, get even.

The construction place is called “Dig This.” The manager gives them a breathalyzer first. Peter is concerned that there might still be alcohol in their systems from the party, but they all pass. Jax says it’s the first time he’s passed a breathalyzer. How many DUIs does he have and why does he still have a license? Yep. It’s a fake construction site where everyone puts on hard hats and bulldozes things.

OMG – coming up is Jax showing his plumber’s crack. Really his whole nakey behind. No thanks.

The guys go to the casino for some gambling and drinking. Tom says he loves the energy of Vegas. I’ve never been there, but I don’t think it would be my scene. I went to Atlantic City once to see Barry Manilow (quit laughing) and I had the feeling Barry didn’t want to be there either.

Oh Lord, we have to see Tom’s bare behind too? And there goes Jax, dancing half nakey in the window. Now he’s pretending to pee on the electrical outlet. We should be so lucky. Tom calls Ariana, who tells him the girls are having a pajama party. He says he misses her. In her individual interview, she says she misses him, but realizes she has some good friends she can talk to. Another one who needs to get used to it.

James tells Ariana that he’s pissed about Jax hanging out with Kristen and now chatting up Lala. Lisa asks Ariana how she’s holding up and she tells Lisa bout her dad’s death and how she misses him during milestone events. Lisa asks why she doesn’t talk to Tom about it and she says she doesn’t want to come off as needy. Lisa says honesty is necessary in a relationship.

The girls get together at Scheana’s place. They play some question game that has to do with sex. Are there any question games that don’t have to do with sex? Ariana and Katie talk about how awkward it was talking about the party with Lisa and Lala not being invited. Scheana calls Lala and asks her if she wants to come over. Lala says she’s just about to turn in, but Scheana says she lives close by and they’re all in pajamas anyway.

The guys are drinking at the disco. Or what looks like a disco. Peter says he’s at the point in his relationship where not cheating is meaningful. Bleh.

Lala gets to Scheana’s. They take videos of the girls kissing and sends them to the guys. Lala makes noises about being bi-sexual. I think. She’s talking in riddles. The guys get the videos and send back a pic of Schwartz and Tom giving each other a peck on the lips, and afterward wiping it off. Jax says they’ve passed every test and now if they just go to bed alone, they’ll be fine.

Somehow, they all end up back at the suite, bringing only take-out back with them. Schwartz gets on Facetime with Katie. Katie says there wasn’t any time she didn’t trust him, but she’s not so sure about strange girls. Ariana seems cool with everything now too.

Tom suggests they go back to the casino and ruin everything. He says that everyone knows there’s that time in Vegas when you need to put your winnings in your pocket and walk away, but now is not that time.

Next week, Scwartz talks about doing something stupid and Kristen claims to not be a crazy bitch any more. I’m sure the latter is up for debate.

This Week’s Quote from the Vanderpump Rules After Show

That never happened…It might have happened. Jax, referring to getting nakey on the Vegas trip.

Dec21

December 20, 2015 — Lonely Atlanta

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

No Once Upon A Time tonight due to The Sound of Music singalong version of the film. I shudder at the thought of this and I like The Sound of Music. Oh the irony of the movie title in this case. No Walking Dead either; another Into the Badlands marathon. And speaking of marathons, I hope those of you who get the Chiller channel have been enjoying Z Nation this weekend.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

The ladies invite Glen, Jaron and Oliver back to the ranch rental place. While they’re on the boat, Porsha gets the bright idea to play “Never Have I Ever” which sounds like a game she just made up so they can have sex talk with strangers. Never have I ever heard of it before. Cynthia says she’s learned her lesson about drinking on boats and is going to quit while she’s ahead. In her individual interview, Kandi says something about Porsha having thrown her boyfriend Duke a big party five minutes ago, and now she’s inviting dudes back to the house.

They hang out at the pool. Glen says something to Kandi about having attitude. I have no idea what he’s talking about and Kandi is obviously pregnant, so keep it to yourself. Porsha has on a barely there bikini and is shaking her booty and twerking all over the place. She has her eye on Oliver. She tells him how she doesn’t need a man for support and I laugh since her quick move on to the next guy is because Duke hasn’t paid enough attention to her lately since he’s on the road.

Glen is a bit of a d-bag. Kenya puts it out there, saying he’s erratic and crazy. His aunt, Tammy, is pretty drunk, and Kenya asks her to have him leave, but she doesn’t seem capable of that. Porsha, who started this whole thing, says she sees it’s getting messy, so she’s going to escort Oliver out and call it a night. Nice.

Kenya tells Glen he’s being weird and is making people uncomfortable so he has to leave. He advances on her and security comes out. When Tammy tries to talk to him, he knocks her to the floor. Geez, what up wit dat? Security takes Glen down. I mean they wrestle him down; they didn’t shoot him or anything.

Tammy comes to and asks where Glen is. Cynthia feels badly because she brought Tammy on the trip. Kenya says only the person behaving badly is responsible for their own behavior. The police escort Glen out and Tammy goes to the hospital. Somehow this all becomes Kenya’s fault with Porsha, Sheree and Phaedra. They claim the reason Kenya wanted Glen to leave was because he wasn’t interested in her. Sheree says she added fuel to the fire, and Kim says that if you shake a hornet’s nest, hornets are going to attack you, but this is a guy, not an insect nest. I don’t see as Kenya did anything wrong. She was being a little silly at first, but she had every reason to want those guys gone. They were getting drunk, unpredictable and insulting.

Kim’s had enough and decides to go to a hotel. When the girls start picking on Kenya, Kandi sticks up for her saying that Glen was weirding her out. When Kandi talks to Todd on the phone, he isn’t happy that she put herself in that position. She tells Kenya that Tammy came back to the house later and she can’t believe Kenya slept through it. Kenya says Tammy must have jumped the gate, and it’s like something out of a horror movie. “Girl, this is not Children of the Corn Rows,” she adds.

Someone has this reappearance filmed on their phone. Tammy comes to the door in a robe and hospital socks. Security ended up taking her to a hotel because they didn’t want the guys back on the property. In her individual interview, Cynthia objects to the video, but when she sees it, she’s laughing along with everyone else. Kandi goes home and Kenya says pretty soon it’s going to be just her and Porsha there.

Phaedra is still blaming Kenya for that idiot Glen. Sheree says that it’s wrong to label people and she and Phaedra get in a conversation about labeling African American men as aggressive and how this can make people afraid and unnecessary deaths happen. They say that the men are already an endangered species and Kenya was like any white suburbanite acting afraid. Huh?  That sure sounds like a label to me. And I don’t even know how they got there from this incident because Glen was wrong and deserved to get kicked out.

Cynthia calls Tammy and asks how things at the hospital went. She has a concussion, but other than that she’s peachy keen. Phaedra invites her for dinner. I’m assuming sans Glen.

Porsha has rented a couple of mini Hummers for the girls to get around the city. They look something like golf carts without roofs.

Kim is back home where she belongs and is strolling in the park with her husband and kids. For someone who works in show business, she certainly can’t handle much outside of the house. Husband Chris (who is really quite funny) talks about not liking her being in a dangerous environment. Kim says Kenya tried to stir the pot again, and wonders if she’s going to be removed next. Not too much overreaction and paranoia. Kim says Kenya wanted to work with her, but she’s not so sure she wants to now and that she’s starting to like Kenya’s friends more than Kenya. What is wrong with these women? Did they see the same thing I did?

Porsha has a date with Oliver and Phaedra suggests she spray fragrance around her private area. I don’t suggest that anyone do this.

Cynthia says ever since she brought up her marriage issues with Peter, that’s all anyone wants to talk about. She calls Peter and says she’ll be home tomorrow and they can go out to dinner. Zzzzz…

Oliver and Porsha go to a fancy restaurant. There’s some flirtatious talk, but when Oliver moves in for a kiss, Porsha acts like she’s never heard of it. She does give him a kiss at the end of the meal for dessert. I don’t get her roll, but Oliver seems to like it. Everyone is sleeping when she gets home, so she wakes them up. She says the date was amazing and Oliver likes to talk. Cynthia says their own evening of cooking at home was blessedly uneventful.

Phaedra says if they could forget about almost everything, it was a great trip.

Todd’s daughter, Kaela, has moved back to Atlanta and Todd teases her about having a boyfriend that she’s been “making googly eyes at” on Instagram. Kandi tells Todd about the trip and says the communication between her and Phaedra seems better. She says that Phaedra has a split personality – one prim and proper, and one that has a good time – and she picked the latter to stick with on the trip.

Kim and Kenya go out to lunch. Kim says Kenya should be proud because she’s done a girl’s night out and a trip with them. Kenya says it was only a half trip to Miami though. Kenya thinks Kim really just wanted to get home to her family, but Kim continues to blame Kenya for the situation with Glen, saying that she was manufacturing drama. Did Kim have blinders on? It wasn’t like Kenya forced him to be an aggressive moron. Kim says that she didn’t want to take part in Kenya provoking someone. We flash back to Glen acting like an a-hole. Kenya says he was acting in a threatening way and that Kim wasn’t in the Jacuzzi with them. She says that she could see that if he kept drinking, it would have escalated. Kim says maybe that’s her truth, but at the end o the day she didn’t feel safe. Kenya says she appreciates the honesty. Kim says as long as there’s mutual respect and they can agree to disagree “like grown folk,” she’s okay with that.

Next week, Mr. President starts kindergarten and Phaedra is called out for her workout video that wasn’t.

Dec17

December 16, 2015 — GH & 1989

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Jerry Jax is hassling Robin. He wants a definitive yes or no on whether her work has been successful. How is she supposed to get anything done with him bugging her all the time?

Anna tells Mac he’s done enough, but he wants to follow through with getting the goods on Paul. He tells her the information he has about Paul, none of which is very helpful, and says he’s talked to everyone, so he doesn’t know where to go from here. Not everyone, says Anna, and I already know she must mean Tracy.

Yep. Paul and Tracy are walking through a winter wonderland and I’m wondering where they are since it’s not snowing in New York where Port Charles is supposed to be.

Ava runs into Kiki while she’s delivering paintings for the auction. Ava tells her there’s someone who needs her, but it’s not Ava.

In the Corrinthos  household, Sonny is exercising and Carly thinks that Morgan is still sleeping, but he walks through the front door. Sonny asks if he’s been out all night. Morgan says yes and so what? He says he slept on the couch at a friend’s house. Friends they don’t know. He gets kind of testy and Carly asks if he’s taking his meds. He shakes his pill bottle at them and says yes, like showing them the bottle makes it so. He goes upstairs.

Ava says she’s clear on Kiki’s feeling toward her, but she wants Avery to know her big sister. She wants Kiki to come over on Christmas. Kiki says Avery is too young to know what’s going on. Ava says she will one day and asks Kiki to put their differences aside and give Avery a merry Christmas.

Tracy flatters Paul, saying he’s a genius at his job and has really come through for Dillon. Paul says they set the bar low at his job, but Dillon is doing well. He got a job at Crimson and he’s going to stay in Port Charles. Tracy says they’re a family again for the first time in a long time, and she thinks that’s part of why Dillon is shaping up. Carrrlos is eavesdropping.

Sabrrrina asks Dr. Lee if she can speak with her. The doctor says sure, but Michael pops out of nowhere and says let’s go over the sonogram. Sabrrrina must want to punch him in the nose by now, since he doesn’t give her a moment’s peace.  Dr. Lee says the sono looks great and the development is right on track. Sabrrina is like, cool, let’s go, but Michael says hold on there, I have a few questions. He says according to the internet, the baby is big. Dr. Lee says stay off of google and the baby is in the range it’s supposed to be.

Mac says Dillon probably doesn’t know much and Tracy isn’t going to help. Anna agrees that she’d probably just tip Paul off. She has a call in to someone who might be able to help with the autopsy report.  Mac says it’s good to see her back to her old self. Anna says she feels like she has a way forward now and needs to find out what happened and why.

Emma and Patrick are in Paris and go to the address they think they have for Robin – where they send letters from Emma – but it’s an antique shop. Patrick tells Emma that he must have put the wrong address into his phone.

Jerry says that Robin’s 48 hours are up, and she says she’s had a breakthrough. She’s found the secret to immortality.

Carly says it’s too soon for Morgan to be out all night. Sonny says as a father, he agrees, but as someone who is bi-polar, he gets where Morgan is coming from and how much he hates people watching him all the time. Carly wants to count his pills, but Sonny says don’t do it. Just as she’s about to, Morgan comes downstairs. He gets livid, but counts out the pills and proves he’s been taking them. (Well, not really, he could have thrown them out.) He stalks out and Sonny tells Carly they need to make a plan so they know what to do when Morgan has another episode.

Ava and Kiki go down Christmas Memory Lane and talk about seeing the Rockefeller Center tree. Kiki almost starts laughing, but then shuts down and says she doesn’t want to discuss it. Ava asks her to please just think about Avery, and Kiki says okay. Ava texts Paul, saying she’s had a victory and to meet her at her place later.

Tracy asks what’s up with the text and Paul says he can handle it later. They kiss. Well, Tracy really kisses Paul, but he’s okay with it too.

Anna says if she can find Carrrlos, she can get him to turn state’s evidence. She says if she’s correct, Paul also killed Sloane. She gets a call and says they might be able to prove something after all.

Robin says that she thinks someone’s personality can be preserved digitally. Jerry says that’s sci/fi stuff, but can she really do that? She says she needs more time and he heaves a huge sigh, but asks how much.

There’s a knock at Patrick’s door. It’s the lady from the antique shop who got a note from him. He says that’s the address he had for his wife. The lady asks if that’s Robin Scorpio, and Patrick asks if she knows where Robin is. The lady says no, but she might be able to tell him what happened. He invites her in. She says that her address is similar to one on the other side of town, and often people get them confused. The lady is getting ready to leave when Emma says she likes her necklace. Patrick gives the necklace a weird look. After the lady leaves, Emma tells Patrick that Spencer has same necklace

Jerry asks what the timeline is, five or ten years? Robin says it could be longer. Jerry says he needs something that he can sell to the highest bidder now and her time is up.

Tracy is like, I don’t know where that came from, but says it’s nice having Paul around. She jets out of there like a bat out of hell. Carrrlos pops out and Paul hands him an envelope. Paul says he took a huge chance coming back and to get lost until Paul needs him for something else. Paul says he’ll be lucky if Sabrrrina doesn’t turn him in and Carrrlos says she wouldn’t turn in the father of her child.

Dr. Lee says Sabrrrina and baby are progressing right on schedule. Sabrrrina says she has to refill her prenatal vitamins and is going to meet Felix after, so Michael should run along. After he leaves, Dr. Lee says Sabrrina has enough vitamins and she knows the baby is further along than it should be. She assumes Michael isn’t the father. Sabrrina thanks her for not saying anything in front of Michael and the doctor says she’s bound by doctor/patient confidentiality.

Carly asks Ava if Avery can spend some unsupervised time on Christmas with Sonny. For Avery’s sake. Ha-ha! That’s the same argument Ava used with Kiki.

Morgan goes to the MetroCourt and Kiki asks how he’s doing. He says he’d be better if everyone would get off his back. She says she relates and tells him about Ava trying to get her to come over. Morgan tells her about counting out his pills for Carly to prove he’s taking his meds, and Kiki says but he isn’t. When they were bussing the table the last time Morgan was there, they found his pills. Told you.

Morgan says he can’t catch a break anywhere. He says he told the doctor he lost them and the doctor issued replacements. I don’t think that’s how that works. He asks why Kiki even cares since she just wants to be friends. She says she cares because she is a friend. He makes a big deal about asking her for water so he can take his pills.

Ava says she has plans. Carly says how about before her plans? Ava says to be clear, Carly is asking her to give Sonny an unsupervised visit on Christmas with Avery? When Carly says yes, Ava says absolutely not.

Michael tells Sonny he’s worried about him, but Sonny says there’s nothing to worry about. He says PT is going well and Epiphany is a real drill sergeant. He asks how the baby is. Michael says he just came from an appointment and they’re fine. Sonny says he can tell something’s wrong and Michael says he thinks Sabrrrina is hiding something.

Paul tells Carrrlos the baby means everything to the Quartermaines. Carrrlos tells Paul he might have abandoned his son as a baby, but he doesn’t roll like that. Paul says he needs to get out of the country until Paul needs him again. Carrrlos says he’s in no hurry because, thanks to Paul, everyone thinks he’s dead. Carrrlos had better watch it or he’s going to really be dead.

Anna says there’s a blood sample on file from Carrrlos, and it can be compared to the DNA on the necklace. She says they have nothing for Sloane though, and Mac tells her that while he was in Sloane’s apartment, he took Sloane’s toothbrush. Anna is ecstatic. She gets a call from Patrick who tells her he’s in Paris, but Robin isn’t there, and he doesn’t think she ever was.

Morgan apologizes. Kiki accepts. He says he needs all the friends he can get, and she says please just take your pills. Carly shows up and apologizes to Morgan. She says she just did it out of love, and Morgan says okay. Carly tells Kiki she appreciates her standing by Morgan. Kiki says she just wants to see him get better. Carly says if he listens to the doctor, he’ll get on track, but left untreated, his illness can get worse.

Tracy and Ava literally bump into each other.

Paul says there’s dead and there’s dead, and which one would Carrrlos prefer? Carrlos says don’t worry, he’s leaving. He doesn’t want to end up in Pentenville or worse. He adds that someday, somehow though, he will be with Sabrrrina.

Dr. Lee says the stress of keeping her secret isn’t helping Sabrrrina. Sabrrrina says if she tells Michael, she’ll break his heart. The doctor says he’s already asking questions, she’s going to deliver way early, and at least she would be taking control of the situation if she told him.

Sonny tells Michael that all women act weird when they’re pregnant and not to worry about it. Michael asks if he misses Avery. Sonny says yes, and he can’t wait to see her, but he wishes he’d be standing when he does. Michael asks Sonny if it bothers him that Sabrrina was involved with the man who shot him. Sonny says he’s just glad Sabrrrina ditched Carrrlos.

Anna is like, what the blip do you mean Robin isn’t there? She says maybe Patrick wrote the address down wrong. Patrick says that he thinks the Cassadines are involved because their family crest was on the antique store lady’s necklace. Anna says wait right there. She tells Mac she has to head to Paris.

Robin tells Jerry this will be a tremendous achievement for him. He says he needs something that will turn a profit like yesterday. I guess everyone is hurting economically, even Jerry Jax. He says her time has run out and tells the lackey in the hall to kill her. (Said lackey was being nice to her earlier, so I’m guessing she’s going to use that and escape.) Geez, I’d say Jerry owes Robin at least another year for all the time he took up asking her the same questions repeatedly and saying “time’s up” over and over.

Tomorrow – Robert is here! And more repercussions for Elizabeth.

Then and Now With Andy Cohen

This episode covered 1989. I know a lot happened with me in that year, but apparently the rest of the world was busy too. The Berlin Wall came down, Rob Lowe embarrassed himself with a sex tape, Madonna scandalized with Like a Prayer and The Simpsons ruled television.

I highly recommend this retrospective mini-series, which I’m sure will be rerun a thousand times on Bravo.  I could watch this stuff all day long. Unfortunately, there’s only one more episode. I’m wondering why just a few episodes, and who picked the arbitrary years?

Dec15

December 14, 2015 — GH, a party at SUR & a Quote

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Paul, Tracy and Monica get together to plan the Nutcracker Gala. Monica wants to get going to push ticket sales, but Tracy wants to decide who’s making the keynote speech. She suggests Paul.

Lulu asks Johnny if he came up with a plan to get rid of Valerie. He says first he needs to know more about her. Lulu gets a text from Dante, but she says it’s nothing important and ignores it.

Dante tells Jordan he signed the final separation papers. He’s surprised Jordan doesn’t give him a lecture, but she says sometimes when things are over, they’re over.

Hayden tells Curtis that to get the gun, he’ll need to bribe someone. Nicholas comes by and asks who her friend is. I’m sure she’ll have a good answer. She’s no slouch in the lying department.

Elizabeth finds Jason on the porch. He’s getting a call from Sam, but he doesn’t answer. Elizabeth gets way too obviously excited. I hope he douses all her hopes with some really cold water because I hate her so much.

Paul balks at making the speech. He says he needs to check with his assistant and steps away.

Johnny asks if that was a text from Dante, and Lulu repeats it was nothing important. She says since he’s a fugitive, they have to use their time wisely, and wants to get going on the plan. She says as long as Valerie is around, she and Dante won’t have a chance at getting back together. Lulu gives Johnny Valerie’s particulars. When Johnny finds out she’s at the police academy, he goes to the website.

Jordan tells Dante that moving on and letting go is part of life. She says if things are really over, then they should be over, and that a lot of people have trouble accepting when good things go bad. She makes a little speech that sounds like she’s talking about herself.

Hayden introduces Curtis as an interior designer that she’s hired to redesign ELQ’s offices, and says that she wanted to surprise him. Curtis is amazing at playing along and has an answer for everything. Curtis is a fine looking man too, so I’m hoping when things finally go south with Nicholas, Hayden will pair up with him. Curtis leaves. Nicholas says yesterday Hayden told him she was going to reduce the work force and today she’s redecorating. He asks what up wit dat?

Too bad Elizabeth. Jason is there to figure out what they’re going to tell Jake about his moving out. Ah-ha! in Nelson voice.

Monica tells Tracy her brain went on vacation and her libido took over. Tracy says the only connection she and Paul have is that he’s Dillon’s father. Monica tells her to be careful and remember what a lout Paul was when they were married. She says the last time Tracy followed her heart, they almost lost ELQ.

Dante says just when he thinks he has a hold on everything, something else pops up. He says walking away from the mess he created isn’t the answer.

Johnny asks for Dante’s password which happens to be Dante and Lulu’s wedding day. Lulu goes down Memory Lane about the wedding. Johnny puts in the password and finds the cadets’ schedule. He says he has to get going and Lulu says hold on, you’re a wanted man. He says it’s not like he’s Public Enemy #1.

Hayden says she’ll be cutting dead wood and insignificant jobs. She says she can tell Curtis forget it though, if he wants. Nicholas says it’s fine, but he needs a drink. He tells her Elizabeth’s fears have been realized.

Elizabeth tells Jason he should take some time to think things out. Nice try. She says maybe she can make up for what she did. Jason says he’s going upstairs to pack. Good. Don’t let her suck you in.

Paul says his schedule is clear and he’ll be happy to make the keynote speech. He tells Monica that he already has someone working on selling tickets and making sizable donations even if they can’t make it. Monica asks if they have any more ideas for raising money and suggests a gun amnesty program attached to the gala. Because that makes total sense…not.

Jordan tells Valerie she’s one of their most promising cadets. She tells her that it’s a critical time and she needs to focus if she’s going to get through training. She says she’s noticed Valerie checking out Dante and just because he and Lulu are separated, that doesn’t mean they won’t get back together.

Lulu wants to know what Johnny’s plans are, but he says the less she knows, the better.

Curtis calls in a favor from a cop he knows and gets into the evidence room.

Nicholas tells Hayden about what happened with Elizabeth and Jason. Nicholas says Jason already knows he was involved and has probably figured out that Hayden is involved too. Hayden asks if any charges can be brought against them. Nicholas says he’s not sure, but Jason will be providing his own repercussions. Hayden says she doesn’t need any legal trouble right now. Although I don’t think there’s ever a time when anybody needs it.

Elizabeth says that if Jason still loves her, it’s wrong of him to leave. Jason says forget about making it up to him, what about making it up to Jake, Sam and Danny? He says she doesn’t really love him because love takes other people’s feelings into consideration. Elizabeth says Sam and Danny didn’t need him like she and Jake did. She begs his forgiveness. He says he did love her, but the love was built on a lie, and that lie is over. Wild applause from me.

Paul says it’s an interesting and unexpected idea, but how is a gun amnesty going to help Toys for Tots? She says it will both reduce crime and spit shine Paul’s profile. He asks how they would make money on it though. Monica says she’ll donate a thousand bucks for every gun turned in.

Dante shows up at the Haunted Star. He says she didn’t respond to his text. Lulu says the less time they spend in the same room the better. He says she’s going to hate him for what he has to say.

Jordan sees Curtis and obviously knows him. She asks what he’s doing there.

Diane shows up at Elizabeth’s with the papers Jason requested. She says it’s a confidential matter and puts them in an envelope and tells Elizabeth to give them to Jason. Elizabeth asks what would stop her from opening it when Diane leaves. “Right you are,” says Diane, and puts them in her pocketbook.

Hayden says Jason can easily make trouble for them, between ELQ and his best friend, Sonny. She and Nicholas are about to embrace, but boo! there’s Jason right next to them.

Dante says they need to talk to each other for Rocco’s sake. He tells Lulu that when he went out for baby aspirin, he left Rocco with Valerie. Lulu barely reacts, so he knows Olivia told her already. He says he thought she’d be furious. She says she thought about making a scene, but decided he’s not worth it. She says she refuses to believe that the family they built was meaningless, but his priorities have changed and it hurts. Still, overreacting isn’t going to solve the problem.

Jordan tells Curtis that if he came to Port Charles for her to give him a job, don’t hold his breath. He says he already has a job and he figured since he was in town, he’d congratulate her on her success. He asks how TJ is and reveals that he’s Jordan’s brother.

Diane says on second thought, she’ll just leave Jason a voicemail rather than relying on Elizabeth to give him a message. Elizabeth says Diane doesn’t approve of Jason divorcing Sam. Diane says her approval doesn’t enter into it. Elizabeth tries to be insulting, but Diane just says, sorry, I’ll be going. Elizabeth then starts to act like the pathetic shrew she is and tells Diane to get out.

Jason wants to know how long Nicholas knew and what it was worth. Nicholas says as far as he’s concerned, everyone is better off without him. Jason punches Nicholas in the face.

Paul excuses himself from the meeting, saying he has to get to court. Monica tells Tracy she’s shameless and Tracy says she was more fun when she was a slut. I love these two together.

Curtis tells Jordan to have a nice day and splits. Outside, he takes the gun out of his pocket and puts it in his bag.

A brawl nearly starts in The Floating Rib between Nicholas and Jason, but a couple of guys step in and break it up.

Elizabeth is all weepy and finds a shirt she gave Jason as a present on the floor. She sniffs at it – what is it with her? – and she folds up like a cheap suit.

Lulu says she’s planning on cutting Dante out of her life as much as possible. He says he won’t let Valerie look after Rocco again without her knowing. She tells him to get lost because she has a lot to do. She looks at Valerie’s website pic and says pay back is a bitch.

Valerie’s car breaks down and who is there to help? That’s right. Johnny.

Tomorrow, Franco and Nina! And we’ll see how Johnny is going to “help” Valerie.

Vanderpump Rules

Giggy! (And another cute little dog in an outfit.) Lisa and Ken are meeting with Arielle, who works with homeless teens. Lisa says she’d love to help out. The kids have never been to a restaurant, so she’s going to host a dinner for them.

Tom and Schwartz are going to have another meeting about promoting Lisa’s sangria. Schwartz says he has a problem with the word commitment. Katie says to avoid the term “non-committal” when she’s around. She says she’s allergic to it and it gives her a tingling sensation around her ring finger. Tom says Schwartz should let him do the talking. He says that Schwartz makes him nervous because he’s nervous. Katie says apparently their plan is to not have a plan.

Lala tells Jax that James keeps texting her, but she’s ignoring him. Jax says that’s probably the best idea. Lala says James is like a sad puppy, begging and apologizing. Even though Britney is moving to L.A., Jax is still avoiding any commitment (I’m going to hate that word soon) because she’s not there yet, so he and Lala make plans for drinks.

James’s mother joins him for dinner at SUR. His mother was an Elite model for many years and still looks pretty good. His mother asks about Kristen, but he says it’s way over. His mom says he’s young and should just enjoy himself and avoid drama, as there will be enough later in life. James tears up and I’m wondering why. Because he got rid of that crazy maniac? Oh, never mind, his parents are getting a divorce. I guess that’s hard on a kid no matter how old they are.

He admits to using alcohol to self-medicate. His mother says that it’s no way to deal with things when you’re in a dark place, and she knows of what she speaks having been in the modeling business. She says she loves him and that she’s proud of him. They hug. 1…2…3…awww!

Kristen tells Jax she has a date with some guy named Alex. They’re at the gym, working out with the punching bags and Kristen pretends it’s James’s face. Afterwards, Kristen says she heard a rumor that Jax has broken up with Britney. Jax says they’re just trying to see where things are at and she’s still moving to L.A. Kristen says no way would she ever get back together with James again. Jax suggests she get a dog.

Lisa calls a meeting of the SUR staff. They wonder if they’re in trouble, but Lisa says for once, they’re not. She tells them about Arielle and the dinner they’re going to have for the kids. Good-hearted Scheana says if Lisa can find the time to help, they can too.

Lisa asks Tom how it’s going with the sangria pitch. He seems vague and she tells him he has to do his research. She says she has the feeling they’re not going to be any better prepared than they were at the last meeting. I have the feeling she’s right.

Scheana says she and Shay are going to start therapy and she hopes it’s the start of him turning over a new leaf. Scheana thinks she and Katie should give Lala another chance at being friends, but Katie doesn’t want to because of Lala lying to them.

Jax tells James he was at boxing class with Kristen. James asks if Jax doesn’t think it’s weird to be hanging out with Kristen. In his individual interview, James says maybe Jax and Kristen were made for each other, and I think that’s a possibility since they’re both d-bags. James wonders why Jax was waiting right there when he and Kristen broke up. Tom, Jax and James all start talking at once and I have no idea what they’re saying.

James goes over to Kristen’s apartment. He mentions that Jax told him about her going out with Alex. He says he thought he’d miss Kristen after they broke up, but he’s thinking about Lala more than her. Kristen says he has a lot of nerve, since a few days ago he was telling her he loved her. She also talks about how he paraded his bite marks from Lauren all around. They start to argue. She tells him that he’s going to drink himself into oblivion, lose his job and lose all his friends. He counters with all she has is Jax, that she’ll never get married and if she does, she’ll be divorced In three years. He leaves, spitting on her door on the way out. That pretty much sums up the maturity level of these two.

Jason tells Lisa that he’d like to say his expectations for Tom and Schwartz are high, but they’re really not. Tom and Schwartz show up for the meeting. Schwartz says after a lot of deliberation, they thought the best course of action would be for the two of them to be brand ambassadors. Lisa wonders what he means by that and tells him it’s not a modeling job. Schwartz doesn’t seem to have a solid idea and Tom says he wishes Schwartz would have let him speak first. But when Tom starts talking, it’s even worse. In his individual interview, Tom says, “What is a career anyway? Except the beginning of the march to death.” Avoidance of responsibility, anyone?

Jason says he wonders what they’ve been doing since the last time they met. He says they seemed excited at the last meeting, but seem to have lost their drive. Pandora says they seemed like they wanted to change careers, but now it’s like they want to be the guy with the tray passing out shots. Lisa says if they started on Monday, what would they do? Once again, they’re unclear. They leave the meeting in a cloud of vagueness and I have no idea if they’re going to continue working on this project or what.

Britney arrives for a visit. Jax says when she’s there, she’s the only one he wants to be with, but it gets fuzzy when she’s not around. He also makes it sound like Lala was hitting on him, but being such a great guy, he only had a few drinks with her during the day time. He says he likes Britney a lot and doesn’t want to screw things up. He says she should stay with him, even though we flash back to where he said a thousand times he wasn’t going to let that happen. This girl must be an idiot if she believes anything he says.

Schaena and Katie are getting ready for the teens to come. Giggy! Tom tells Ariana that he should have never let Schwartz speak first. He thinks he was able to rescue things…a little bit. He says they’re taking baby steps, but he’s taking steps. In her individual interview, Ariana suggests they’re fetus steps.

Lala says she feels a little uncomfortable working with James. Kristen told Jax about the door spitting and he says he needs to have a talk with him, changing her story to say that James spit on her. Lala says she really doesn’t want to be a part of it. It’s funny how they all keep talking about how young and immature James is when none of them are much older and not much more mature. Kristen is the exception to everything because she’s batsh*t crazy.

Tom has the idea to have lemonade mocktails on a platter for when the guests first come in. Ariana is annoyed because he didn’t confer with her first.

Lisa wants the kids to feel welcome and have an experience they haven’t had before. Lisa introduces them to Ken and Giggy. Lisa asks the kids questions about their lives. Scheana says that seeing how grateful the kids are, she realizes there are bigger problems in the world than hers. Gee, really? Lisa says life is about give and take, but giving is more important.

Ariana’s 30th birthday is coming up (“six times cooler than your average five-year-old”) and she’s planning a major party. Peter’s also having a birthday soon, and he’s inviting all the guys to Las Vegas. Ariana is annoyed again because she’s feeling left out. She says it’s nice to know that the day after her birthday, Tom is going on a trip where she’s not invited.

Jax confronts James about his craziness at Kristen’s. He says he didn’t spit on her, just on the door. Which makes it okay. Jax is like, you didn’t have to do that, and James says he’ll apologize the next time he sees her. Jax asks if he’s getting tired of saying I’m sorry, and the two of them get into a shouting match. Lisa breaks it up and tells them to go in different directions, but neither of them will shut up. Lisa tells James to go home and adds that if he raises his voice in her restaurant, it will be the last thing he does. She doesn’t mean she’s going to kill him, but that he’ll be fired. At least I think so.

Lisa tells James to calm down, put a smile on his face, and realize how bloody lucky he is. Lisa tells Jax he needs to lower the volume too. Peter asks James what the blip is going on. Lisa tells him if he doesn’t change his attitude immediately, he’s seriously going home. Some days, she must want to bang her head against a wall when she gets home.

Next week – Ariana’s birthday party and Vegas!

Vanderpump Rules After Show – Quote of the Week

I’m just amazed that somebody used the term heteronormative. I thought it was groundbreaking.  Brandy referring to Ariana on Vanderpump Rules.

Dec14

December 13, 2015 — Ash, Andy & Atlanta

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

For the next couple of weeks, much of the regular programming will be trumped by holiday cheer. Like the annual showing of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, where poor Rudolph gets abused by mean Santa. Tonight, Once Upon a Time was eclipsed by a special on the original Disney animated classic, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and The Walking Dead was replaced by an Into the Badlands marathon, another show well worth watching.

So I was left with a couple of bits and pieces and the usual nonsense from Atlanta.

 Ash Vs. Evil Dead

Now that Bruce Campbell has finally succumbed to the will of the fans, he has realized that he is Ash and will be forever more. Gory slapstick mixed with the shaky camera we’ve all come to know and love, this show will never win an Emmy, but as Bill Murray once so beautifully put it, it just doesn’t matter. Starz has thrown us a gruesome bone in the wasteland that is weekend programming, and I’m grateful.

Then & Now with Andy Cohen

If you can catch this show, do. I love the retrospectives. One of my favorite parts of New Year’s Eve is always what I’ve christened, the roll call of the celebrity dead. I also enjoy any trip down Memory Lane involving a year or decade I remember. Andy Cohen is a good choice to host one of these programs because he’s a lover of pop culture who has made himself part of pop culture.

This particular show is about 1994, “the year pop culture pushed back.” That actually sounds like a nonsense statement, and I at first I wondered what was so special about 1994. Actually, a lot. It’s the year that gave us Tonya and Nancy, OJ’s slow speed chase, the suicide of Kurt Cobain, and so much more.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta

Phaedra, Porsha and a wannabe are going shopping. Porsha talks about working on a Miami trip for the ladies with Kenya. Meanwhile, Sheree, Kandi and Kenya are exploring the still unfinished “Moore Manor,” Kenya tells Kandi it’s a Cynthia re-do, since the boat trip went so horribly wrong. Kim is coming along, which is surprising, for the same reason.

Another Wife Wannabe, Tammy, is joining them on the trip. Kenya uses her phone cam when they board the plane, and we get to see them trying to cram things into the overhead that won’t fit unless Willy Wonka comes by with his shrinking machine.

After the fastest flight in history, they take a limo to the house Kenya rented. Estate really. They’ve decided that since Kandi is pregnant, she can have the master bedroom. Surprisingly thoughtful of them. The house has an infinity pool that I would be spending all my time in. Porsha’s wannabe friend, Shemia (who Kenya keeps calling things like “Shimmy Shimmy Koko Bop” and “Sheneneh”), has met them at the house. Lots of wannabes in this episode. There are two living rooms, and Kim decides she’s sleeping in one of them. I’ll bet the TV has a lot to do with that decision. The others are like, why would you want to sleep in the living room? but hey, it’s her vacation too. And I’m guessing, like me, she hasn’t had one since 1987, so let her set up camp in the living room if she wants to.

I have no doubt that, as usual, this gorgeous luxury spot will be wasted on this bunch.

Tammy sits down to talk to Kim in her living room space, while Kenya entertain the others with imitations of Kim. Apparently, Tammy is an acquired taste, but Cynthia says she’ll take quirky and weird over mean nasty and shade throwing any day. Kenya says that Tammy (who’s friends with Sheree’s ex-husband) intimated that Sheree was a gold-digger. Sheree seems to think she also slept with him.

The ladies gather for dinner at a fancy restaurant where they have a private back room. The servers start bringing weird things to the table, like a Viking helmet for Kenya to wear, a toaster and what looks like fondue. Kim makes an announcement that she might not make it through the whole trip because she might get homesick. Huh? In her individual interview Kim says she’s out of her element and needs to rise above her feelings. What?

Cynthia says Neanderthal Peter is making an effort to win her back. They’re talking about their significant others and Tammy says she’s been married 13 years and everything is still great. Sheree makes noises about being unhappy with her presence. Tammy says yes, she’s friends with Bob (the ex), and she feels he was treated unfairly during the divorce as far as seeing his kids went. Sheree asks if she slept with Bob. Tammy is like, are you joking? She says she’s not even attracted to him. Sheree says Bob told her differently and Tammy says that’s news to her. Sheree says she was told Tammy didn’t like her and had told Bob not to marry her. Kim can’t believe “grown ass women” are talking like this. Get used to it if you’re going to be on this show. Kim says there’s a difference between information and instigation. Kenya says sometimes people just need to clear the air of old stuff.

Porsha has set up another boat trip. Really? Kim and Phaedra are talking and Kim says it’s hard to tell if Kenya is being genuine or not, and that people can air their grievances without being messy. Kenya doesn’t understand why Kim is sticking her nose into it.

Kim breaks down at lunch because she’s homesick. She says that everyone is having a good time, but all she’s thinking about is she’d rather be sharing it with her husband. That’s a really nice thought, but she seems to be getting weird about it, like a kid who’s away at camp for the first time. She starts to cry about how she’s lost herself and she can’t find herself here. I hate to tell her, but it’s highly doubtful you’d be finding much of anything on a long weekend in Miami except a Margarita.

Whoa. She’s weeping and wailing to Phaedra outside, while the women flirt with some dude named Oliver inside at the table. Phaedra says she’s sensitive to Kim missing her husband, and if her husband treated her well, she’d be missing him too. Shade of the night. Somehow, Phaedra turns the conversation around to her own problems, but Kim seems to think she’s a great friend. They go back inside.

New guy Oliver and his friend have invited themselves over to party. The girls get googly eyed when Kim says she misses her husband, but on the side Kenya says that most of the women would pay get away from their husbands and kids. Houdini Tammy, who had disappeared, comes back draped with another strange man. It’s her nephew, Glen, who Kenya immediately turns her high beams on.

It’s time for the ladies to get back on the boat and the guys go with them. Things go a little sour when Glen doesn’t respond positively to Kenya’s aggressive attempt to get his attention.

Next week, it looks like things go so far south, they hit the equator.