What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Brad brings a food tray over to an outside table, and Britt says, carbs, sugar, and sugar. He says, they need energy, and she asks if it isn’t a bit overboard. He says, it’s not every day he gets to help his bestie find the love of her life. Pull up those matches, and lets pull some in.

Anna thanks Laura for coming by on such short notice, and Laura says she’s happy to do it. It actually gives Jake and Aiden some guy time with Grandpa Kevin. They join Felicia and Robert in the living room, and Anna says, she and Felicia just got back, and they have some information they wanted to share. Felicia says, they have a lead on the Ice Princess, and Laura asks if they found the diamond. Anna says, they did, and they should both know, a suspect has been arrested in regard to Luke’s murder.

At the hospital, Elizabeth calls over to Portia, and says, they have a problem.

Harmony goes to Brendon’s hotel room, and flashes back on him saying that Neil kept her file in a lockbox that he got when Neil died. He had no idea Neil had incriminating information on Harmony, such as her daughter Willow not really being her daughter. A housekeeper comes by, and asks if she can help Harmony. Is she a guest?

As Finn stacks the chairs after an AA meeting, Alexis tells him that she’s sorry she didn’t get to say hi earlier. He says, that’s okay, and she says, his understanding is very moving. She would have been there on time, but she got held up at work. He says, trouble in the Fourth Estate? and she says, pushy freelancer. He asks if she’d care to share.

Curtis sits on the bench at Pier 54, the new hangout, and flips a chip in his hands. He flashes back to telling Selena that his last term is non-negotiable. There will be no games unless she gets him the information he asked for. She tells him, then they have a deal, and they shake hands. He gets up just as Jordan walks through.

Harmony tells the housekeeper, she just checked in and seems to have lost her key. She digs in Brendon’s bag, and says she found it. She shows the housekeeper the keycard, and the housekeeper tells her to enjoy her stay. She lets herself into the room.

Alexis tells Finn that she invited Harmony to live with her, and he asks how Kristina took that. She says, better than Sam, and he says, ow. She says, Harmony was a good friend to her at Spring Ridge, so she wanted to help her out. He says, being a friend is one thing; letting them move in is… She says, temporary. It’s just until Harmony finds a place of her own. It turns out that Harmony has more than a familiarity with her house. She’s apparently been there before, knew her way around… when she was trying to recruit Kristina, that whole Dawn of Day thing. After all the time she spent with Harmony at Spring Ridge, Alexis thought she knew her, and now that Harmony is living in her house, she doesn’t feel like she knows Harmony at all.

Robert asks, so who was it? and Anna says, they arrested Jennifer Smith. He says, Jennifer Smith killed Luke? and she asks him to please hear her out, because it is possible actually. Not only was the diamond found in her safe, the WSB has information connecting her to the cable car inspector who caused the accident that killed Luke. He asks why Jennifer would kill Luke, and Felicia says, it was no secret that Jennifer still carried a torch for Luke. They were thinking she stole the Ice Princess to lure him back to her, but unfortunately, her scheme went south and he was killed in the process. Robert asks if she’s working with Victor, but Anna says, as of now, there’s no evidence that she was. He says, so with all the evidence collected over all these months, do they really believe they’ve found justice for their friend?

Brad says, obviously, the duckpin bowler is out, and Britt says, obviously. Too bad though; he’s pretty. Brad says, yeah, but he’s way too proud of those pins. Swipe. Number two’s got a nice jawline. She says, but her mother says that’s a sign of weakness. He says, she showed these to her mother? and she says, her mother was overjoyed to help. Unfortunately, she has different criteria than Britt does. Brad says, obviously. He supposes one could do worse than Scotty, and she says, given her mother’s history, he’s a step up. He says, number three seems adventurous. Danger’s sexy, right? She says, why? Because he likes to go skydiving and mountain climbing. Those are all outdoor activities. He says, sorry. He thought Jason had opened her up to more adventurous things. She says, yeah, like crossing international borders with falsified documents, not whatever that is. She points to the tablet, and Brad says, it’s called spelunking. She says, it sounds like something private, and he asks if they should keep doing this. Everyone’s boring after a killer for hire. She says, Jason was not a hired killer, and he says, right. That was a steady job. How about if they do it like this. What is her selection criteria? She has six perfectly good matches here, and she isn’t into any of them. Does she even want to meet someone?

Elizabeth says she’s missing Portia’s notes from Mr. Clark’s exam yesterday, and Portia says she’s sorry. She didn’t get to do that before she left. The notes from the physical exam are in there, and everything else is the same as it was the day before. Elizabeth says she needs the notes from yesterday so she can properly fill out the discharge paperwork, and Portia says, she’ll do it later. Just do what she can with what she has. Elizabeth says she can’t, but Portia says, Mr. Clark isn’t critical. Obviously, that’s why he’s being discharged. Elizabeth has everything she needs, so maybe she could help Portia out a little bit here. Elizabeth says she has her own work to take care of, and her own patients she needs to see. It’s not the nurse’s job to make sure the doctors turn in their exam notes.

Jordan says, she and Curtis have to stop running into each other like this. How is he? He says he’s good, and her? She says she’s still here, so she can’t complain. How are things at home? He says, the damn reporters are hounding Trina, and she asks if they need the police to step in. He says, they’re handling it, and she says, let her know. She just came from Spoon Island. Spencer and Esme gave Officer Lopez their statements regarding Josslyn and Cam’s leaked sex tape. She thought she’d follow up in person. He says, both of them, or just one? and she says, Esme Prince’s name has come up numerous times throughout this investigation, but she’s just gathering more information to fill out the case. He asks how that went, and she says, unfortunately, the staff made it clear neither Esme nor Spencer would speak to her without a lawyer, so she’ll have to try some other time. He says, she’s the Police Commissioner. Couldn’t she get a detective to go out to Spoon Island? She says, he knows her. She likes to get elbow deep in a case now and then. It reminds her of why she became a cop. He says, making sure justice is served, and she says, if she’s learned anything from her past mistakes, it’s that justice can’t be served without the truth. He says, in that case, Port Charles is lucky to have her as their Commissioner.

Britt says she does want to meet someone, and Brad says, that was enthusiastic. She says, it’s very overwhelming. She goes from zero men to six? Why does she need that many matches? He says, she doesn’t have to date all of them at once, and she says, the point is, one man is enough trouble. He says he wishes he had that kind of trouble, and she says, then let’s get you a man. What is he doing tonight? He says, watching Scandinavian crime dramas without subtitles, and seeing if he can still follow the story and crime. Why? She says, they’re going to The Savoy. She’ll be his wingwoman. He says he’s not going out. His chances are better if he had a job. Speaking of which, has she heard from Terry about him working at GH? She says she hasn’t seen Terry much lately, and he says, they’re Co-Chiefs of Staff, and Britt says, she’s seen her, but they just had other matters to discuss. He says, more important than helping her bestie get a job? and she says she put in a good word for him. She got him the meeting. There’s nothing more she can do. He says, he knows. She’s right. She’d done more than he deserves, and he’s grateful. It’s just that he hasn’t heard anything. If the answer’s no, just tell him. She says, no news is no news, and Terry puts a lot of thought into things like this. He says, how complicated is hiring an orderly? and she says, except when the orderly is him. He says, is that really it? Or is there something she’s not telling him?

Finn says, about this Harmony business. Does Alexis want some advice, or does she just want him to listen? She says she really just wants him to listen, and he says he’s here if she needs him. She says, what about him? How are things with him and Elizabeth? He says, complicated. His very presence in her life is causing problems. She says, how so? and he says, speaking of an unwanted presence in one’s home…

Portia tells Elizabeth, very succinctly put. She’ll get on it right now. Is there anything else? Elizabeth asks Portia to go to a more private spot, and says she didn’t mean to come down on her, but Portia says, Elizabeth is right. She’s not doing her job properly. Elizabeth says, Portia’s got a lot going on. It’s not like anyone got hurt. Portia says, and she didn’t run out of time; she forgot. She’s been so preoccupied with everything’s that going on with Trina. It slipped her mind; she’s forgetting things. Elizabeth says she understands. Portia’s going through a lot. Portia says, Elizabeth is too. How is she holding up? Elizabeth says, it’s overwhelming, she’s exhausted, and on top of everything that’s going on at home, she’s working extra shifts. Portia says, when Elizabeth says, what’s going on at home, she means this mess with Joss, Cam, and the video? and Elizabeth says, among other things.

Finn tells Alexis, they’ve been trying to find out who’s stalking Elizabeth, but so far, no luck. Jake and Aiden are staying at Laura’s, PCPD patrol cars are watching the house, and all of this has taken its toll on Elizabeth. She says she can only imagine. How is he dealing with all of this? He says he feels helpless. It’s hard on her, it’s hard on him, and it’s hard on the relationship. He’s not going anywhere; he’s going to be there for her, even though she believes she can handle everything herself. He’s afraid he’s the reason things are getting worse. Feel free to disagree with him or make a suggestion at any time. She says, Kevin… He asks what that means. Collins? She says, psychiatrist. He helped her; he’s good. Maybe he can help Elizabeth clarify her perception of that moment.

Harmony comes out of the room with an accordion file, and looks through it. She closes it back up, holds it to her chest for a moment, and puts it in Brendon’s bag. She looks around, and leaves.

Robert says, it’s kind of ironic about Luke dying at the hands of a scorned woman, and Laura says, Jennifer had been obsessed with him for decades. Felicia says, not to mention, she had the nerve to show up at Luke’s memorial service, but Laura says, except when she talked to Jennifer that day, she seemed like she was genuinely grieving. Anna says, and she vehemently protested her innocence. She insisted she was framed. She says she never would have done this; she loved Luke. Laura says, it just doesn’t make any sense to her. If Jennifer wanted to get to Luke, why would she need the Ice Princess to do that? And then to rig a cable car accident that would kill a lot of innocent people? That’s just not in Jennifer Smith’s league. If you ask her, that’s a Cassadine move. Anna says, exactly. They had their doubts Jennifer could be behind Luke’s death. Laura says, it has to be Victor, and Anna says, agreed. Unfortunately, they can’t connect him at this time. Meanwhile, the WSB has evidence implicating Jennifer, and their theory, no matter how implausible, is still possible. Laura says, the thing to remember about the Cassadines is, if everything points to them except the evidence… Anna says, they’ve arranged for the evidence to point elsewhere, and Laura says, exactly. There’s something else she wants to tell them about. The other day, Victor gave her the hard sell about combining forces, to protect the family from some ominous threat in the future. Robert tells them not to forget, Victor has been after Drew, hoping to trade on that mind control rubbish of Helena’s, and Felicia says, here’s a thought. Is it possible that whatever Victor’s up to is completely unconnected to the Ice Princess? Anna says, no, because Victor comes to town. He’s planning to use Drew for some nefarious purpose. At the same exact time, Luke dies, and the Ice Princess is stolen. It’s not a coincidence. She doesn’t believe it’s a coincidence no matter what the WSB says. Felicia asks what they can do to prove Victor’s involvement, and Robert says, he can think of a sure fire way to find out if Victor is involved with this.

Alexis walks into her office, and Valentin is in her chair, the back facing her. He turns around to face her, and says, he’s always wanted to do that, but she says she has the feeling it’s not his first swivel. Now hug her. They hug, and he says, it’s always good to see her, and she says, it’s good to see him too. He says he sees the rumors are true, and she says he’ll have to narrow it down. He says, word on the street is, while he was away recovering, she was greatly improving her circumstances. Nice. He loves the quote. He picks up the placard, and she says, so does she, taking it out of his hand and putting it back on the desk. Harmony Miller gave it to her. He says, who? Shiloh’s fixer with the DoD? How did that happen? She thinks Harmony found it online, and asks how he is. He says, he’s fine. He’s back and better than ever. She says she’s sure he’s glad to be reunited with Charlotte, and he says, after the incident with Peter, he sent her away to boarding school. Alexis says, Peter’s dead. She doesn’t think he can kidnap Charlotte again. He says he wishes he had been the one who killed Peter, and she says, he’d have had to take a number. He says, speaking of numbers, hers are impressive. Circulation’s up, and her online presence is spectacular. She says, why is he being nice to her? What does he want? He says he’s had some time to think, and it occurs to him that a media company in the family could be very useful. She says, could it now? and he says, as it happens, his father agrees.

Harmony goes the MetroCourt bar, and asks for whiskey, neat. Make it a double. The bartender says, rough day? and she says he has no idea. She sits at the bar, and flashes back to Brendon threatening to go to the police, and her pushing him off the cliff. The bartender brings her drink, and she remembers telling Willow that she’s the most important thing to her in the world, and she loves her. Then she flashes back to Brendon saying, what if he tells Michael this information? If Nina finds out Willow is her biological daughter, oh boy, will that complicate the visitation case. She takes out the folder with her name on it, and puts it back in the bag. Willow says, mom?  

Portia asks if Elizabeth thinks it’s the same person who put the wedding ring in her locker, and Elizabeth says, it makes sense. Portia says, this is terrifying. She’s sorry Elizabeth is going through this. Elizabeth says she appreciates it, and Portia says she owes Elizabeth an apology. She’s been so preoccupied with Trina, she hasn’t checked in. Elizabeth says he hasn’t checked in with Portia either. They’re just stressed. Portia’s phone beeps, and she says she has to check on a patient. Elizabeth says, go. They’re okay, all right? Portia says, yeah.  

Britt says, the truth is, she did speak to Terry about Brad’s interview, and Brad says, he takes it that it was a hard pass, but Britt says, no. Terry hasn’t made a decision, but she didn’t shut it down either, so that’s a good sign, right? She thinks Terry is actually open to hiring him. He says, that’s amazing. So how can he move the needle? She knows how Terry thinks. How does he get an advantage? He really wants this job. Britt flashes back to Selena saying, imagine she has all the proof she needs to send Britt back to prison for good. She has plans for Brad, and changing bedpans isn’t part of them. Britt is to keep Brad on the right path. The challenge is, while Britt is pulling Brad’s strings, he’ll never know Selena is pulling hers. Britt tells Brad, do nothing, and he asks if she’s afraid he’ll embarrass himself again. She says, no. She’s wondering if he really wants to be an orderly. He says, Terry made it clear she wouldn’t consider him for anything else, and she says, then don’t work at GH. Hold off for something better.

Jordan says she told Curtis why she’s here; his turn. He says he’s just clearing his head, getting some fresh air, and she asks if there’s any chance he’s going all the way to Spoon Island to clear his head. He says, she knows him, and she says she’ll leave him to it. Are they good? He says, yeah. Why wouldn’t they be? She says she didn’t get Marshall’s sealed arrest records for him, but he says, no. He’s past that. They’re good. She says, in that case, if his thoughts do take him to Windymere, don’t let Esme and Spencer get under his skin. He has a new family now, and they need him. He thanks her for the advice, and she walks off. Selena comes out, and says she thought Jordan would never leave.

Robert says, all he’s suggesting is that Anna use her closeness with Valentin for the greater good. Laura says, it’s a lot to ask, and Robert says, if Valentin is on the side of the good guys, as he claims to be… Anna tells him, stop it. Don’t push it. Even if she did get Valentin to tell them something, he wouldn’t trust it. He says, maybe not, but all he’s suggesting is that she uses her relationship with Valentin for something bigger, and Felicia says, what relationship?  

Alexis asks, since when does Valentin care what Victor thinks? and Valentin says, he’s had some time to think, and despite his many faults, he thinks there’s something to said about Victor’s notion of family unity. She says, Cassadines take to family like sharks take to chum. If Victor wants to get close to Valentin, he’s not being paternal; he’s hungry. Valentin says, we have a rare opportunity; it’s unprecedented. She says, you tell Uncle Victor that we don’t have a family paper. It doesn’t belong to her, and even if it did, she’d never allow the Cassadines to use it as a mouthpiece. What does Valentin think he wants it for anyway? Valentin says, the greater good, and she tells him, said no Cassadine ever. He tells her not to turn her back on what’s left of the Cassadine family, but she says she has daughters – and him. He says she’ll always have him, and she says, not if Victor’s attached. He tells her, think about it, because he has. You can’t pick your family. She says, on the contrary, you have to, and he leaves.

Willow asks what brings Harmony back here, and Harmony says, just to unwind. Please join her. Unless Willow is here with Michael. She knows she’s just a third person. Willow says, Michael went to the gym. She was planning on going to GH to study, but she’s a little under the weather, so she decided to have some soup while she studies. Harmony asks if she needs to see a doctor, but Willow says, it’s probably a stress headache from Nina. She’s sorry. Harmony said she needed to unwind. She doesn’t need Willow dumping her stress on her. Harmony says, Willow can tell her anything anytime. She’ll be here for her as long as she can. Willow says, as long as she can? Is she going somewhere?

Finn comes out of the hospital elevator and sees Elizabeth. She says she’s glad to see him. Dante called. They couldn’t find any fingerprints on the defaced painting other than hers and Jake’s, and they couldn’t trace where the paint came from. It looks like they hit another dead end. He says, for now. Chase is a good detective. He’s at her place right now, and Finn knows he’s going to turn something up. She says she wishes she hadn’t taken that stupid sleeping pill that night. Maybe she could remember what the figure looked like. He says, there’s a way she could remember.  

Britt says, this is the perfect opportunity for Brad to start over. He can do anything he wants with his life. He says he wants the life he had before prison, but since that’s not possible… She says, that’s right; it’s not. So why settle for crumbs of what he used to have. Don’t limit yourself. Has he even considered other options? He asks if she doesn’t want him working at GH, and she says she wants him to have everything he’s dreamed of, and this is not that. This is a crappy version of it – literally. Don’t limit yourself. He says he’s not qualified to do much else outside of medical fields, and with his background, no hospital will hire him without someone there to vouch for him. Working at GH is best thing for him, even as an orderly. She tells him that she’s saying, just keep his options open. He says, his only other option he has is working for his aunt, and they both know, no good can come from that.

Curtis says, Selena’s messenger said she wanted to meet him there. He’s guessing she has information for him. She says, they had a deal. She gets him information on Marshall Ashford, and he lets her host poker games at his club. He asks if she was able to get the police report, and she says, yes and no. He says, either she’s got it or she doesn’t, and she says, her people were able to access Witness Protection files, but they came up empty handed on Marshall Ashford. Her people don’t fail; there is no file. Marshall Ashford was never in Witness Protection.

Felicia says she knew Anna was spending a lot of time with Valentin, but a relationship? Anna says, they’re getting off topic now. She agrees with Laura that there are too many loose ends, and that’s because all the missing pieces are being concealed by Victor. Felicia says, they still have one bit of evidence, and Anna says, Jennifer insists she had a man in her room, a French naval captain, and that he planted the diamond in her safe. Laura asks if this French captain has a name, and Felicia says, Françoise Olivier. Anna says, but they couldn’t locate him before they had to leave, and Robert says, maybe Jennifer invented him to save her own skin. Felicia says, no. She spoke with the bartender and he confirmed there was a man Jennifer was friendly with. Robert says, maybe she lured him to her room as a patsy, and Laura says, it wouldn’t be the first time. Anna says she doesn’t want to rule anything out; Jennifer’s guilt or Victor’s potential involvement.

Brad says, don’t work at GH? Why the change… Britt’s phone dings, and he says, something urgent? She says, yes, that, and takes the tablet. She got a notification from Society Set-Ups that she has matches to review. As if she forgot. He asks why she’s dragging her feet. She has a perfect selection of guys there. She says, so great they need a matchmaker? and he gives her a look. She says, she’s different. She’s using a matchmaker because she has a pushy mother. He hopes she didn’t put that in her profile, and she says, maybe this is hopeless. What kind of future can she hope for with any of these guys? He asks what she means by that.

Finn suggests making an appointment to see Doc, and Elizabeth says, she’s all for therapy, but she doesn’t see how talking about it will solve this particular problem. She doesn’t even know where she’d find the time, but he says, nothing long term. Doc specializes in therapies that recover memories, right? Perhaps if she worked with him to clarify what she saw, it could lead them to whoever’s harassing her. She says she doesn’t know, and he says, it would be up to her of course (🍷), but it’s worth a shot. She says, let her thinks about it, and he says, of course (🍷). Is she sure she’s okay? She says she was going to ask Epiphany for a personal day, and he says, good. Go home and rest. He’ll check on her later. She says, he’d better.

Jordan sees Portia at the hospital, and tells Portia that she ran into Curtis. He told her that reporters are giving Trina a hard time. She came to offer her help. Portia says, if she really wants to help, she can get the DA to dismiss the charges. Jordan says she wishes she could, and Portia says she wishes Jordan meant it. If she did, she wouldn’t have arrested Trina in the first place.

Curtis says, he’ll just take a copy of the sealed arrest records, assuming they exist, and Selena says, they’re in her possession, where they’ll remain for now. Curtis says, they had a deal, and she says she has every intention of upholding her end, but first, he has to uphold his. He asks how he knows she has the records, and she shows him the title page on her phone. She says, safely stored away. She’ll gladly give them to him, after he does what she asks. Have his club ready for her.

Harmony tells Willow, she just meant that soon Willow will be graduating nursing school, which is amazing. She’s so proud of Willow. Then Willow is going to be working full time, and her free time will be with Wiley and Michael, her family. Willow says, Harmony is her family too. She appreciates the effort Harmony has been making over the last few months to rebuild their relationship. She knows she hasn’t exactly made it easy. Harmony says, that’s understandable, all things considered, and Willow says she’s happy to keep working on it. Harmony chokes up, and says, that means so much. All the mistakes she made with Willow growing up, getting her involved in Dawn of Day.  There was a time she didn’t even hold out hope of a relationship or forgiveness. Willow says she was angry with Harmony for a long time. She didn’t know if she could trust Harmony again, but look at her now. Every time she sees Harmony, she’s bending over backwards to make up for her past. Harmony says, unfortunately, the past keeps hanging over us, but Willow says, it doesn’t have to. She’s forgiven Harmony. Harmony says, she has? It’s so much more than she deserves. No matter how hard she tries to do the right thing, trouble keeps following her, right up to Willow’s doorstep even. Willow asks if this has anything to do with that man who approached them yesterday. What was his name? Brendon Byrne.

Jordan tells Portia, this is her job; she had no choice. Portia says, of course (🍷) she has a choice. She’s seen Jordan go outside the law for her family time and time again. Jordan says, and it’s brought nothing but  trouble, which is why she has to play everything by the book. Portia says, of course (🍷) Jordan does, because it’s her daughter, which begs the question… Never mind. Jordan says, no. Clearly Portia has something to say, so say it. Portia says she wonders if Jordan is making this personal, and Curtis walks by, seeing them. He stops.

As Robert is leaving Anna’s, Valentin is about to knock, and Robert says, if it’s not the devil incarnate. He leaves, and Valentin asks Anna if that means they were speaking about him. She says, they were, and he says, okay, because he hasn’t stopped thinking about her. She smiles.

Britt says, with her job, where would a relationship even fit in? and Brad says, evenings and weekends? She says, she works those. The only reason she had time for her last relationship was because they were on the run from the law and assassins, and she couldn’t work remotely. He says, so she’s been burned a few times. That doesn’t mean she should give up. Mr. Right is out there. She says, no he isn’t, and Brad says, Mr. Sufficient might be. Go find him. She deserves to be happy. She thanks him, and says, you know who also deserves happiness? Him. He says, no, and she says, yes. He says, who is he to argue? Here’s the plan. Step one, she gets a man. Step two, he gets the job at GH, then he gets his own man. She asks if that isn’t steps two and three, but he says, step three is them living their best lives. It’s as simple as that. She says, Brad… and he says, she doesn’t like the plan? She says she loves the plan. There’s something she needs to tell him. Selena comes by, and tells them, good afternoon. She’s sure Brad has enjoyed his time with his friend. Now he must listen to her good news. She has a job for him. He says, she does? and she says, starting immediately. Come. They have much to discuss. Brad reluctantly goes with her.

Elizabeth answers the phone at the nurse’s station, and a man’s voice says, don’t forget me. She says, what? and he says, don’t forget me. I’m in room 1011, and I asked for a blanket. She tells him to hold on a minute, and quietly freaks out.

Harmony asks, what makes Willow think this about the guy from yesterday? and Willow says, the guy said something to Harmony when he was leaving, and it wasn’t excuse me. Harmony swears it was nothing. He knows Alexis, and she met him at Alexis’s office. Willow asks why she didn’t say anything, and Harmony says she didn’t think it mattered. There she goes again, making the wrong decision. Willow asks, what’s going on? Does she need help? Harmony says, no. That’s so sweet, but don’t worry about her, ever. She can look after herself, and she’s going to be here to look after Willow too. Willow thanks her, and Harmony says she knows she’s said this before, but she truly means it. No matter what she’s done, she’s done for Willow. Willow asks, what does Harmony mean, she did it for her? What has she done?

Alexis stands at Pier 54, and sees Brendon floating face down in the water. 

Tomorrow, Portia asks if Jordan can honestly be impartial; Josslyn asks Cameron whose side he’s on; and Britt asks if Spencer believes Trina filmed that video.

Below Deck Sailing Yacht

What’s interesting is, Bravo has paired Summer House, a house of the most horrible people in reality TV – including Jersey Shore – with this show that’s fast breeding horrible people.

Gary smashes his finger in the door goes to the galley. Marcos asks if he wants ice, and Gary plunges his hand into some. He goes to his cabin, while Colin and Daisy secure the doors. Gary holds his hand and yells a lot of MF words, and guest Marni is a little freaked, hearing him. Daisy asks if Gary is okay, and Gary sings, Hey-O. Daisy looks at his finger, and in her interview, she says, you haven’t worked a sailboat unless you’ve smashed a finger or toe. It’s a common injury. Glenn asks, what’s going on? and Kelsie says, Gary hurt his finger. Glenn asks her to check on him, and Gary says he didn’t want to scream outside. Glenn asks Colin if everything’s okay, and Colin says, the belt on the doors snapped, but they’ve been secured. In Gabriela’s interview, she says she feels off her game, and we flash back to her dropping the tray of champagne. She says she’s been in hospitality for 15 years. Dropping a tray is not something that happens. She’s been distracted by her thoughts and problems, and needs to focus on her work and being a better team member. It’s bothering me to no end that Gabriela thinks she’s at fault in any way. Both Ashley and Marcos are narcissists with a nasty streak. Luckily, she’s not involved with Gary, who’s a narcissist with a stupid and thoughtless streak.

Gary asks Kelsie for help with a tangled captive wench, and gets really irritated that Kelsie can’t read his thoughts, and insists she’s not doing what she’s doing. On the brighter side, the guests see a dolphin with her baby, and primary Dawn says, they’re actually aliens… Ashley tries to set the table, and the centerpiece keeps falling over. If Gabriela does have a fault, it’s being nice to those two a-holes, and she foolishly confides in Marcos that she’s disappointed in her own behavior. She doesn’t want it to affect her job or send her home. Marcos says she has to sit down and think about who she wants to be. Advice he’s clearly gotten from Sesame Street or his second grade teacher. She says she wants to start fresh, and he says, take time, which I think translates to, it will take time. She tells him, good chat, and in her interview, she says, at this point, she feels like no one likes her. She wants to crawl in a hole and disappear. Why, Gabriela? Why?

The guests take selfies, and Glenn checks out Gary’s hand. He says, there’s blood under the nail, and suggests Gary poke it with a hot needle to let the blood out. It will relieve the pressure and pain. In Glenn’s interview, he says, he had a crew member reach into a locker, when the door came down, crushing his skull. He was in the hospital for weeks, and thatclose to dying. He tells Gary, it could have been way worse. Ashley serves lunch, and the guests tell Marcos that he’s the best, making his enormous head even bigger. A guest wonders how much weight has ever been gained on charter. In the galley, Ashley tells Marcos, Gary and Daisy need to f*** already and get it over with. Gary grabs Daisy from behind, and she says, that’s the closest he’s going to get to having sex with her. Gary pretend sobs, and Glenn comes downstairs. He tells Gary that he needs to use the needle to relieve the pressure, and just the thought of it makes me uncomfortable. Even though Quentin Tarantino and Korean horror are two of my favorite things in the world, I can’t watch. Glenn says, gently, and Gary yells.

Gary’s nail bleeds like crazy, and Glenn says, it will take a lot of the pain away. Gary jokes that he’s got to go back to work, and Glenn tells him, get his ass out there. The guests get in the hot tub, and guest Tim wants to get in the real water, but Glenn says, they can’t open the door with the swell. He suggests they take the tender out and he can jump in from there. In Glenn’s interview, he says, his first mate is his right arm, and we see Gary sleeping in the crew mess. Glenn says he’ll see what he can do. The guests are paying for an experience and don’t care how they get it. Some of the guests jump into the water from the deck, and Glenn takes the tender out with Tim.  

Ashley sets the table, and Gary dances around, singing, be positive. The guests get ready for dinner, even though it seems like they just had lunch. The table looks beautiful, laden with flowers and brightly-colored  tchotchkes. Marcos tells Gary, most people don’t know sh*t about making vegan food. No surprise, he knows everything, and shows Gary the squash he’s grilling. Gary says, Marcos has a few tricks up his sleeve. Dinner is served, and Dawn says, it’s the vegan food she’s always dreamed of. Marcos and Gary bark like dogs in the galley, and Daisy tells Ashley that if she’s finished early, ask if Gabriela needs help. Ashley groans, but when Daisy asks, what’s wrong? she says, nothing. Gabriela walks through, and tells Ashley, if she needs help, let her know. In Gabriela’s interview, she says, she’s not dumb. She can read a room. She doesn’t want to make it worse, so she’ll just suck it up. Ashley tells Daisy that it’s like Gabriela is trying to exert her authority, and it’s frustrating. I’m sure Daisy can read a room too, and is reading what a delusional bitch Ashley is. Daisy tells Gabriela that Ashley can turn in early, but if Gabriela needs her, keep her. Gary tells Kelsie that he’s sorry he got mad. He was just frustrated with himself. She says she knows, and she’s sorry she can’t read his mind. The guests go to bed, and in their cabin, Colin says, the guests are crazy for Gary. Marcos says, after three weeks, all the girls are in love with Gary, and Gary says, Daisy would be a good shag. As much as she denies it, she’s been flirting with him. Gabriela radios Ashley, who’s washing glasses. Gabriela comes down, and thanks her, saying, she was going to ask Ashley to do that. Ashley says, she didn’t have to, and you can hear the eyeroll in her voice. In Ashley’s interview, she says, you’ll know if she doesn’t like you. She won’t acknowledge you, and just shut you out. Very mature, our Ashley. I can’t wait to see how she does at a real job in the real world.

Glenn tells the guests that he’s thinking of going toward Port Mahon, where they’ll have protected water for paddleboarding and kayaking. Daisy tells Marcos, there are three people up who want breakfast. Anchor is hauled and home, and the guests pronounce breakfast delicious, fabulous, and insane. Glenn re-anchors in Port Mahon, and Daisy tells Gabriela that she’s in charge while Daisy is on break. Guest Marni asks if they can go somewhere for swimming, and Glenn asks if Gary can take them in the tender to the cove. Gabriela asks Marcos for a fruit platter to take to the beach, and drinks are packed. In Marcos’s interview, he says, in yachting, you should treat your co-workers the same when you party and drink as you do at work. We flash back to his conflict with Gabriela that the rest of us have forgotten about, but he apparently holds a grudge about. He says, when he has a situation, cooking is his therapy. He becomes a freaking animal. Gabriela asks Daisy if she can go to the beach with the guests, and Daisy says, fine. She gets up, and tells Ashley to go on break. The guests get into the tender, and head for the beach. Ashley texts Daisy that she wants to talk about Gabriela.

The guests go swimming, and on the boat, Daisy asks Ashley, what’s going on? Ashley says, the other day, Gabriela was whining about wanting to quit. She said she didn’t trust any of them, and didn’t want to drink with them. We flash back to Ashley promising she won’t tell Daisy, and Daisy tells Ashley that she thinks a lot goes on behind her back, and she gets that, but she doesn’t feel right talking to Ashley without talking to Gabriela. (Kudos to Daisy for that.) She hopes Ashley is telling her the truth. In Daisy’s interview, she says, she doesn’t understand Ashley’s competitiveness; with boys, the job, everything. We flash back to Ashley being an a-hole, and Daisy says, she’s not stupid. It’s about being number one. She tells Ashley, thanks for the chat. Gary radios that the guests are coming back. Gabriela tries to make small talk with Ashley in the laundry, but Ashley claims she’s tired. In Gabriela’s interview, she says, she’s really trying with Ashley, but she just can’t. She tells Ashley to let her know if she needs help, and Ashley makes fun of her as soon as she’s gone. Marcos is making tofu that looks like fried chicken, something he learned in West Hollywood. Colin tastes it, and approves, and Marcos says, tofu is good if you know how to make it. I’ve never made it myself, but I think it’s really weird how it can be made to taste like other things. In Colin’s interview, he says, Marcos is a magician. He doesn’t know how to describe it.

Kelsie hopes the new deckhand has a good personality, is a hard worker, and makes her laugh. And is hot, but that’s third on the list. Actually fourth, but who’s counting? Dawn says, this is the best food she’s had in her entire life, and Ashley tells Colin the exact same thing she told Daisy about Gabriela. The guests finish dinner, declare they’re boring, and go to bed. Gabriela radios Ashley that if she’s finished, she can go to bed. When everyone has turned in, Gabriela finds Kelsie, who’s the only crew member she’s comfortable with. She tells Kelsie that she’s tired and had a bad day. She had a couple of chats with Ashley, but there was something weird about it. She’s not respected in the way she respects other people. She doesn’t feel like she’s part of the team. She thinks when they got loose, it had a negative effect. She knows Ashley and Marcos don’t like her, but she can’t get a read on Daisy. Kelsie says, Gabriela knew they’d have to be coexisting before they got here, but it’s tough because they wear a lot of hats. She doesn’t think Gabriela is in the gutter, and tells her, don’t dwell on the negative. They hug, and Kelsie tells Gabriela not to cry. Gabriela says, Kelsie is a good sister.

Last day of charter. Gabriela says, she’s fine, everything’s fine, she can do this. Glenn says he’s thinking about sailing, and asks Daisy about breakfast. Daisy says she can’t give him a definitive answer about time; it depends on the guests. He wants to give the guests a sail, and Daisy tells Marcos, they’re going to keel hard. The guests want breakfast and she’s in a bad mood. In the cabins, the stews put everything on the floor. The guests say they’d prefer to sail, and in Daisy’s interview, she says, it’s a disaster waiting to happen. Everyone eats fast, and Glenn bugs Daisy until she finally says, go ahead.  The boat tilts, and the guests hang onto the table. Dawn films, and things crash. Glenn tells Gary to help inside, and Daisy says, everything is going to f***ing break.

Marcos sings in Spanish, and Daisy says she wants to put herself in a better mood. Ashley suggests she needs a hug from Gary, but Daisy says, Gary gets enough hugs from her. Glenn says he’s seen steeper. but that was pretty steep. Good sailing. Dawn says she learned what not to pack for next time, and I think, yep, like shoes. Gabriela helps with the fenders. Kelsie tells her, they’re not heavy, but they’re awkward, and Glenn doesn’t want them dragged. They dock, but it’s nothing special. Dawn thanks them from the bottom of her heart. They had fun water with the water sports, and the morning sail was spectacular. She hands Glenn the tip envelope, and Marcos pouts because he didn’t get a mention. Glenn blows the horn, and everyone waves. Marcos pouts some more, and Glenn calls everyone to the saloon for the tip meeting.

He says, it was charter six; they’re more than halfway there. The crew’s done a great job, and they’ve been keeping the guests happy, despite being short some hands and a finger. The new deckhand should be coming before the next charter. The tip is $20K, or $2500 each. Everyone is thrilled, and I think, these were classy guests. They had fun, had reasonable requests, caused no trouble, and left a big tip. Glenn suggests the crew have a nice dinner, but make it low key. Tomorrow, they have the day off, and he’s rented a local villa for them to use for their deserved downtime and fun. Daisy thanks him for organizing it, and in Gabriela’s interview, she says, she needs to recharge and reset. She needs to get out of her head, and this is the way to do it.

Daisy asks to talk to Gabriela, and they sit in one of the guest cabins. Gabriela says she wants to start over. She wants to be an extension of Daisy, someone Daisy can trust and rely on. She feels like she’s lost some of that trust, and feels defeated. Daisy says, Gabriela is a great stew. The guests love her, and she’s excellent at service and décor. Daisy wants her here, and Glenn wants her here. She has incredible potential, but she has to want it. Gabriela says she feels dismissed with Ashley, and she didn’t come to Daisy initially with her concerns. She’s been trying to pull herself out of a spiral. Daisy says, Gabriela can talk to her anytime. Don’t let it consume her because… Gabriela says, this is the result. In Gabriela’s interview, she says, she’s just going to work on herself. She feels like a complete sh*t. She’s emotionally drained, and so burned out.

Next time, the crew goes to the villa, Gary smells trouble, Kelsie toasts to a fresh start, Marcos whines that Gabriela is picking on him, and Gabriela asks to talk to Glenn.

⚰️ Forgotten Dead…

Some articles I might have missed posting.

On Madison 2.0.

https://ew.com/tv/fear-the-walking-dead-kim-dickens-madison-return-showrunners/

Lauren’s take on Maggie.

https://ew.com/tv/walking-dead-lauren-cohan-maggie-negan-acts-of-god/

Lance’s coin flip.

🧙🏾‍♀️ Festival Vibe…

The performances.

https://people.com/music/coachella-2022-weekend-one-celebrity-photos/

The fashion.

https://people.com/style/coachella-2022-best-fashion-outfit-photos/

🤖 Hasta la Vista, Baby…

Come join me tomorrow for soap and New Jersey drama. Until then, stay safe, stay adventuresome, and stay knowing justice can’t be served without the truth.