What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Drew and Carly kiss, while way too LOUD music plays. He asks if they should be doing this, but she says she doesn’t know and doesn’t care. He says, him neither, and they go back to it.

On the phone, Olivia says, this cannot be happening, and Sonny asks, what’s going on? Leo tells him, all the desserts for the picnic have gone missing, and Olivia says, they do understand these are frozen desserts, right? In this heat, she’s going to be serving her guests puddles… No, wait… She says, they put her on hold. Unbelievable. Sonny says, missing desserts? and she says, he’s got people, right? Do something.

At the pool, Obrecht asks if Nina is sure, and Nina says, yes. Scotty says, God knows he has no love for Sonny, and Obrecht says, God and everyone in Port Charles. Scotty says, if Nina wants to chase after him… and Nina says, they both mean well, but she’s not welcome at the Quartermaines. And the truth is, the feeling is mutual, so if they want to go… Obrecht says, not if it means meeting the man who put the dent in her Scotty’s nase, and Scotty says, that Cody Bell is working for the Quartermaines. He’s a stable hand, shoveling manure, but if his schnitz wants to go, he’ll go. Nina says, it’s unanimous; they stay here. She’s sitting back and enjoying her half of this beautiful hotel. A woman comes running in, and says, they have a disaster on their hands.

Ava walks into one of the many Quartermaine living rooms to find Victor shaking martinis. He asks if this is what she’s looking for.

Nikolas looks for Ava at the stable, asking why she took off like that. They were having fun. Spencer is sitting on the steps, and says, maybe that’s the problem. He can’t say he blames her. Nikolas says, that would be a first, and Spencer says, who wants to put their heart out there only to have it crushed? Nikolas asks whose heart they’re talking about.

Elizabeth says, admit it, but Finn says, never. She says, he’s glad she talked him into coming here, and he says he’d go anywhere with her. She asks why he’s so sweet, but he says he’s not. It’s just the truth. He kisses her, when Terry comes along, and says, that’s more like it.

Sonny says he knows people in the trucking business. Does Olivia want him to track down a delivery? Leo says, maybe the truck driver drank some too, and fell in love, and Sonny asks what he’s talking about. Olivia asks if he remembers Nonna’s Sicilian Thunderbolt, and he says he hasn’t thought about that in ages. She said the original recipe came from Cupid himself. Leo says he put it in the lemonade, and Olivia shrugs and laughs.

Drew and Carly kiss their way into the boathouse.

Sonny says, Leo spiked the lemonade? and Leo says, Brook and Chase drank it. Olivia says, they don’t know who drank it actually. Leo meant it for Dante and Sam, but then the whole thing got mixed up. Sonny says, anybody could have had a drink, but don’t worry about it; it’s harmless. Leo says, Olivia told him it was magic, when Yuri walks in, and says, still no delivery truck. On the phone, Olivia says, yes, this is Olivia Quartermaine. She has a picnic and there are people outside waiting for desserts… Yes, she used a vendor she’s used multiple times. Please tell her the delivery is on the way… It’s where now?

Nina asks if the woman needs a paper bag, but she says she’s okay. Nina tells her, inhale… Now exhale slow. Perfect. Now tell her what happened. The woman says, the new chef threatened to quit, and Scotty asks if someone asked for ketchup for the dover sole, but Nina says he’s not helping. The woman says, there was a huge delivery of ready-made desserts, and Nina says, Jamika was offended because she brought over her own pastry chef. The woman says, they’d never get desserts from the outside, and Nina says, of course (🍷) not, but she knows who would on a special occasion like today. She and Obrecht both say, the Quartermaine picnic, and Nina says, Olivia must have gone through their vendor, and they mistakenly delivered it here. This is what she needs the woman to do. Concentrate. Go to Jamika and tell her it was a mistake, and it will never happen again. Go. Run. Faster, faster, faster, faster. She says she’ll have to redirect this delivery, and Obrecht says, these things happen of course (🍷), but why not take advantage? Nina asks, how? and Obrecht says, ride to the rescue herself.

Ava says, he read her mind, and Victor hands her a martini. He says, let’s sit while we reach an understanding, and she says she certainly understands his nephew. Every time she gets close to Nikolas, he proves himself to be… Victor says, human? and she says, a Cassadine. He says, their family is complicated, and she says, that’s one word for it. He asks if the same can’t be said for hers, or has Ava Jerome never fallen from grace? She says she’s fallen all right, more times than she cares to count. She’s never pretended to be a saint. He says, she just wants to be married to one, and she says she just wants to be married to someone who doesn’t have sex with his son’s girlfriend. Is that really too big of an ask? He says he doesn’t condone his nephew’s behavior, but it does take two to tango. They both know Esme is more than capable of seduction, and taking advantage of a weak moment. She’s quite the manipulator that one. Ava says, was, and he says, from her lips. Let’s assume she’s right. Then she’d have nothing left to fear from the late Miss Prince, so she must be afraid of something else. Could she be afraid of being hurt again?

Nikolas asks how things are going with Trina, and Spencer says, they don’t. Nikolas says, Spencer hasn’t told her that he was on her side all along? and Nikolas says, why bother? His plan was a fail. He didn’t get the goods on Esme, and hurt Trina in the process. Nikolas says, it’s not Spencer’s fault that Esme vanished, and Spencer says, not that he misses her or anything, but his big chance to be a hero vanished with her. What a complete waste of time. Nikolas says he thinks it was pretty heroic. Spencer got on the stand and testified, knowing he’d be sent back to prison, and he bets Trina thinks so too, even if she doesn’t want to admit it. Spencer says, Trina’s over him; she’s moved on, and he’s happy for her. As for Pentenville, he’s almost looking forward to it. Nikolas asks how he can say that, and Spencer says, because no one is going to miss him. Nikolas says, that’s not true, and Spencer says, grandmother? She’s not even in the country. Nikolas says he was talking about himself.

Elizabeth says she’s sorry she was so hard on them the other day, but Terry says she understands. Elizabeth walked in on them talking about her; that’s never fun. Elizabeth says, it just felt like they thought they knew her better than she knows herself, and Terry says, they were just concerned. Elizabeth says she knows, but it’s all good. She and Finn are in a good place, right? Finn flashes back to calling Dr. Webber, and saying that he needs a consult about someone they have in common, and Elizabeth says, feel free to chime in. He says, right, a great place, and Terry says she’s glad. She heard about the accident – she indicates Elizabeth’s bandaged hand – and Elizabeth says she was careless with a collection tube. She would much rather talk about something else. Or she should say, someone. Terry says, anyone in particular? and Elizabeth says, yeah, Terry.

Drew kicks the door shut, and Carly takes his apron off. He asks if she doesn’t want him to leave it on, and she says, that would be a look. He says she has no idea how many times he’s pictured this, and she says, he has? He says, hasn’t she? and she says, only about every 30 seconds, and he says, he’s thought about it every 5. They get busy, as the flames from the grill burn out of control.

Sonny asks if Olivia has a copy of the order, and she says, she has it on her phone. He can see the address of the house right there. He says he sees what she did. She checked the delivery address the same as billing by mistake. She says, basically she had it sent to herself at the hotel, and Yuri says he can go over and clear things up. He’s happy to help. She says she appreciates it, but he doesn’t work here anymore; he’s a guest in their home. She’ll call and see if someone can bring it. They hear beeping, and Olivia says, it’s her security app. It looks like there’s a fire at the boathouse. Sonny says, don’t panic. He’ll check it out.

Obrecht says, it’s an opportunity, but Nina says, absolutely not. Michael and Willow made her feel like a common criminal, banning her from seeing Wiley, and Olivia has been openly hostile to her since she bought Carly’s half of the hotel. Now they’re at the Quartermaines having this really great picnic for charity when she was pointedly not invited. So why would she go out of her way for them? Obrecht says she’s looking at this from the wrong angle. Nina has the upper hand. Either the picnic is a total bust, as they say, or they have Nina to thank for its success. Scotty says, her aunt’s a genius. Make them beg for those cream puffs. Obrecht says, and when Nina saves the day, they owe her, and Scotty says, yes, they do – big time. Nina says, they’re both evil, and they both say, yes. Scotty says, they work at that, and Nina says, they have a point. Are they coming or not? Obrecht takes Scotty’s arm, and says, let’s roll.

Victor says, while they’ve all been squabbling about who slept with who, he’s been keeping his eye on the prize, and Ava says, which is? He says, keeping this family intact, and she says, he’s always there when they need him, after he makes damn sure they do. That’s not love; that’s control. He laughs, and says he’s always admired her clarity. Though at times cynical, she’s always the pragmatist. She has her priorities in order, which is another reason she’s a good match for his nephew. Nikolas always thinks with his heart… She says, and other organs, and he says he knows she’s been horribly wronged. He’s deeply disappointed in his nephew. What man in his right mind would cheat on her? And with Esme of all people. But anger, no matter how righteous, must be tempered with common sense, which is why he wants to make himself abundantly clear. When you attack one Cassadine, you attack us all. Now they can either be enemies or family. Ask herself, does she really want it to be the former?

Nikolas says he can’t speak for everyone, but he’ll miss Spencer terribly. Spencer says, really? and Nikolas says, they’ve come a long way since Spencer first came home. Spencer says, translation: when he came home, he was on a mission to make Ava miserable. If only he’d known how skilled they were at doing that for themselves. Nikolas says, it could have saved Spencer some time. He won’t give up on Ava… or Spencer. He thinks he knows why Spencer picked this place to hide out at. Spencer says, he’s not hiding… Okay, maybe he’s hiding. He comes down the stairs, and Nikolas says, horseback riding. It’s where Spencer feels free, without a care in the world. Spencer says he’d really love to have that feeling right now, and Nikolas says, when Spencer gets out of Pentenville, they’re going to fly to Greece, and ride on the beach. They’re going to feast on moussaka and souvlaki, and all the seafood they both can handle. Spencer says, that’s a nice picture. Definitely something to frame and hang on the wall. He’s sorry, but he just can’t see it. He walks out.

Terry says, her love life? and Elizabeth asks why it’s a surprise. Terry says, because it’s essentially non-existent. Elizabeth says, no word from Chet, but Terry says, they spoke this morning actually. He’s doing well. The new job is everything he hoped for and more. She’s happy for him. Finn says, but it’s not easy letting go, is it? and she says, it’s a little easier when you know it’s the right thing to do. Anyway, enjoy the picnic. Elizabeth says, her too, and Terry leaves. Finn says, oy, and Elizabeth says, Terry puts on a brave front, but she really wanted things to work out with Chet. The next time she forgets how lucky they are, please remind her. He says he won’t let her forget in the first place.

Carly and Drew are busy making out on the boathouse couch, when Olivia and Sonny arrive. Olivia asks what they do. Should she grab some water from the lake? Sonny says, the water will make it worse; he’ll get some dirt. He grabs a convenient shovel, and dumps dirt on the grill. Carly says, what’s that? and Drew says, the grill. She says, oh my God, and he pulls her up. They run outside, and Carly asks, what the hell happened? Olivia says, they had a situation here. Who was on grill duty? Drew says, that would be him.

Nina calls for Olivia, but Leo says, his mom’s not here. She asks if he knows where she can find Olivia, and he says, she used to be Wiley’s grandmother. She says she still is, but she knows who he is. She heard about that play he’s doing; it sounds like so much fun. She’s sure he’ll steal the show. He tells her, his mom said she stole Aunt Carly’s business, and she asks if he knows where his mom is. She has something for her. Yuri comes in, and says, she’s at the boathouse. Leo says, she’s putting out a fire with Uncle Sonny, and Nina says, fire? Yuri says he can take her, but she says she knows where it is, and runs out.

Finn tells Elizabeth, it’s like what he and Violet talk about sometimes at bedtime. Happy endings are hard to come by. They take work, and sometimes you take a wrong turn on the way to grandma’s house, and you run into the Big Bad Wolf… What is he talking about? Elizabeth laughs and says she doesn’t know, but whatever it is, good thing those obstacles are behind them. Scotty and Obrecht come along, and Scotty asks, why the long faces? Obrecht says, don’t they know love is in the air?

Ava says she’d love to get on Victor’s good side, if only he had one, and he says, don’t be misled by his helping hand the other day. It was not a vow of loyalty. She says, sounds like a threat. If she doesn’t play along, he’ll reveal her little secret? He says, so murder is a little secret now, is it? and she says, it was an accident. He says, of course (🍷) it was, and no threat. He’s merely trying to point out secrets have a way of being revealed, and should that happen, who would she turn to? Julian is gone. Sonny may be Avery’s father, but that’s as far as their relationship goes. She says, he’s certainly done his research, and he says, face it, there’s no one. She says, except him? and he says he was thinking more of his nephew. Nikolas would take a bullet for her and she knows it. She says, that ship has sailed, but he says, then she’d better get back on board. Nikolas comes in, and says, there she is. He’s been looking for her everywhere. What’s going on?

Olivia says, thank God Sonny was here, and Sonny says, that grill’s going to need some serious cleaning. Olivia says, people don’t want dirt burgers for dinner? and Carly says, probably not. Drew apologizes, and says he got a little distracted and left the grill unattended. It’s completely and totally his fault. Carly says she was there too, but Olivia says, all that matters is everyone is safe. Nina runs to Sonny, throwing her arms around him, and he says he’s fine. Nina tells him, Yuri said there was a fire, and she kept thinking about the Tan-O, but there’s no fire here. What was burning? Drew says, just the grill, and Carly says, they were in the boathouse and didn’t realize things got out of control. Nina says, so this is a whole overreaction. For the record, she’s not crashing their party; she brought desserts. Olivia says, the truck is here? but Nina says she had them load the desserts in her car because they had another delivery to make. Carly says, her timing couldn’t be more perfect, and Nina says she sees that. Sonny says he’ll help unload, and Olivia says, no more grilling for Drew. Carly and Drew are left alone, and they smile at one another.  

Elizabeth says, give them a break. She and Finn have catching up to do in the romance department. Obrecht says she sees Finn insists on wearing black, even to a picnic, and Finn says, he tries to avoid grass stains, and Scotty says he could wear mustard yellow as long as he puts a smile on Elizabeth’s face. Finn says he’s doing his best, but Elizabeth says, better than that. She tells them to have fun, and leaves with Finn. Scotty asks, what’s the verdict? Is she sorry she came? Obrecht says she’s only there are so many people in attendance. She wants her man all to herself. He says he thinks that can be arranged, and tells her, come on.

Victor says, he and Ava were just having a friendly drink, and Ava says, so friendly. She’ll leave them to talk. Victor says, please stay; both of them. He was just headed out anyway. He takes out a cigar, and says, such a lovely night. And a remember, on an evening like this, anything is possible, even new beginnings. He leaves, and Ava says, that uncle of Nikolas’s is a real peach. Nikolas asks what Victor did, and she says, he threatened her. Not that he’d ever admit it. He says, threatened her how? and she says, short version. She’s to stay in this sham of a marriage or else. He says, it doesn’t have to be a sham; not if they don’t want it to be. They enjoy each other’s company. They were having so much fun. Don’t say she didn’t feel it. She asks if he really thinks lawn games make up for what he did to her, and he tells her, he’s just saying he thinks still work. He loves her, and deep down, he thinks she loves him too. She says, he’s delusional. Unlike his uncle. Victor did say one thing that made sense. She can count on no one but herself. Nikolas says she can count on him.

Carly says, Drew left his apron inside, but he says he doesn’t feel like much of a chef for torching those burgers. She says she thinks he’ll get another chance to show off his skills, and he says he hopes so. That was… She says, unexpected? and he says, was it? She says she doesn’t think a grill fire was on the itinerary, and he says, it’s his mess, he’ll clean it up, but she says, it’s our mess. She’ll help. He says, if she insists, and she says she does.

Sonny says, Nina  saved the day, and Nina says, her and her carload of desserts. He asks if she saw Olivia; she was losing her mind. She says she thinks he saved the day putting out that fire, but he says, it’s not like the estate burned down. She says, you never know. A spark could turn into something much bigger. Speaking of which, did he notice what was happening over there? He says, at the boathouse? and she says she could be wrong, but there’s definitely something going on between Carly and Drew.

Carly and Drew clean up, and Carly says, fires are scary, so wild and unpredictable. He says, yeah, but he gets why people are drawn to them; the heat, the movement, the color. When they’re not hurting people, they can be beautiful. She says, in a fireplace, where they’re lit and contained. It’s the ones that get away that are dangerous; lethal even. They can cause damage to things you didn’t even think about. He asks if she’s talking fire safety or them, and I don’t know if I can take much more innuendo.  

Finn and Elizabeth walk into the stable. He’s looking at his phone, and she says, he’s not on call. He says, he’s not on call, and she takes his phone, putting it on a table. She says, no phones, and he says, now that they’re here, what would she like to… She pulls him to her, and they kiss. He lifts her onto the dining table, and they kiss some more, with the door wide open behind them. She says, wow, and he says, that was wow. She says, it’s been a while since he kissed her like that, and he says, shame on him, but she says she likes to be taken by surprise. If every kiss was a knee buckler, their knees woudn’t buckle anymore. He says he wishes he had the words to tell her what she means to him. All he wants is for her to feel safe and happy. She says, then he’s in luck,  because she does. And it’s all because of him. They kiss again.

Outside, Victor sees Spencer, and says he was worried Spencer wouldn’t make an appearance. Spencer says, he might as well have stayed home. Everyone’s already looking at him like he’s behind bars. Victor says, nonsense, and Spencer says, either they’re looking at him like they feel sorry for him, or avoiding him altogether. Victor says, everybody? and Spencer says, not his father. He said all the right things. victor says, let him guess. And Spencer pushed him away, and Spencer says, he’s sorry, but there’s nothing his father can do. Victor says, that may be, but did Spencer ever wonder if there was something he could do for his father? His father loves him, and is going to be losing him soon. He has no idea what the next few months are going to look like. So maybe in the time Spencer has before he goes, he might stop feeling sorry for himself, and think about Nikolas.

Ava says, don’t, and Nikolas says, don’t what? Does she want him to lie and say he’s fine with them sleeping in separate bedrooms, because he’s not. She says, that’s her best offer, and he says, then he rejects her offer. They were having fun together; laughing and joking. She says, because they were pretending, but he says he wasn’t. He thinks if she dared to be honest with herself, she wasn’t either. It was them at their best, husband and wife, working together, not against each other. She says, she’s not the one who cheated. He’s the one who cheated, and not with just anybody. With someone she detests. He says he’s not trying to erase what he did. He made a terrible mistake. One that he has to own, and does. Can they move forward at the same time? They can remember what they had when it was good, and build on that. It’s their choice. They can wake up tomorrow and start over. It just requires a huge leap of faith. He’s willing to take that step. Is she?

Nina tells Sonny, she’s not the only one who sees it. There’s a vibe between Drew and Carly. Sonny says, okay, and she mimics him, saying, okay. He asks what she wants him to say. Whatever they’re doing is their business. He’d much rather discuss her. She says, what about her? and he says, the fact that she’s here, and he likes it. She says she likes him… a lot, and they kiss.

Drew says he didn’t meant to put Carly on the spot, but she says, he’s right. She was absolutely talking them. Can she be honest? He says, always, and she says she’s 50/50 about the fire breaking out. Part of her of course (🍷) didn’t want it to happen, but what was going on in the boathouse was incredible, and she didn’t want it to stop. He says, agreed, and she says, but another part of herself says, it was a gift; a chance to step back and breathe. See what they have now, and figure out if they’re willing to risk it. That being said, he’s one hell of a kisser. He says, back atcha, and she leaves.

Olivia pops pieces of marshmallow in her mouth, and tells Leo, she can’t think of a better way to end the day than with s’mores, can he? He asks if he can have two, and she says, that depends. Did he have any other desserts today? He says, no, and she says, okay, then he can have two. He’s still wondering who drank his Sicilian Thunderbolt, and she asks if he thinks there are any lovestruck picnic goers wandering around the grounds. He says, does she? and she says, that depends. Did he make it exactly the way Nonna made it? He says he thinks he did, and she says, well, then there just might be.

Yuri sees Terry, and they smile at one another. We see the tray of cups and hands taking them. Two of those hands belong to Yuri and Terry, who sip from their cups. Back to the present, he says he doesn’t even know her name, and she says she’s Terry. He says, nice to meet her. He’s Yuri. He holds out his arm, she takes it, and they walk together.

Elizabeth says, there’s got to be a blanket in here somewhere, and Finn says, it’s 82… Oh, a blanket. Don’t move, not even an inch. She says, Scout’s honor, and he goes in the back. She breaks her promise and closes the door, because somebody had to. Finn’s phone rings, and she looks at it, seeing a call coming in from Sarah Webber. Rut-roh.

As they walk into a clearing, Scotty says, see what he sees? and Obrecht says, nothing. He says, hear what he hears? and she says, nothing. He says, they now have the privacy they wanted, and she says, what, pray tell, is he going to do with it? He tells her, close those beautiful blue eyes first, and he’ll show her. He takes her face in his hands, but she looks behind him, and sees Victor. Victor says he hopes he’s not interrupting, and Obrecht says she hopes he plunders into a patch of poison ivy. She tells Scotty, come, and he asks where they’re going. She says, anywhere but here, and drags him off.

Nikolas says he knows Ava needs more than marginal proof. He’ll start with this. He kisses her, and she can’t resist for a moment, but then she says, no. It’s too late for words. It’s too late for kisses. It’s too late. He broke them the moment he had sex with Esme. They hear footsteps, and Spencer comes in from the doorway.

Tomorrow, Terry says it looks like she and Yuri have something in common; Victor says he’s got to get them in line, and needs Valentin’s help; and Finn tells Elizabeth not to turn away from the burden she’s carrying.

Southern Charm

At Auldbrass, after Shep and Craig get done screaming at one another, the dinner bell rings. Taylor suggests Shep apologize to Craig, but gets a hard no. The table is gorgeous – all autumn flowers and colors – and it goes without saying, is wasted on this group. In Olivia’s interview, she says she’s hella uncomfortable. She dealt with the bullsh*t with Austen and Madison, and now he and Ciara hung out. Define hung out. Whitney says they’re going to have some amazing wine and soul food. He has friends there who make the most amazing soul food they’ve ever had. He tells Craig that they don’t hate him, and they toast to positive vibes. Shep doesn’t like cucumbers, and tosses them out of his plate onto the ground, like the spoiled brat he is. In Leva’s interview, she wonders if they could stop fighting. She just wants to have fun. Whitney says, let them eat, drink… and Olivia says, remarry, as his mom says. Taylor tells Shep that at one point he doubted Craig with the pillows, and he’s obviously succeeding. Shep says, it’s not about that, but she thinks it is. He says he’ll never say he’s sorry, but she tells him that he has to rise above his ego. Marcie tells Naomie, Shep should say he’s sorry he made Craig feel that way, even if he doesn’t mean it, and Naomie says, Shep just can’t help it. Shep and Craig step aside, and Shep tells Craig that he’s sorry for all the sh*t he said. Craig wonders why they just can’t acknowledge that they don’t see eye to eye and have differing opinions on almost everything. They have to be okay with that. Craig says he loves Shep, and they bro hug.

Austen says, why blah-blah-blah? and Olivia asks if they’re doing this now. Craig comes back to the table, and Austen asks if Shep apologized. Craig says he did, and makes the observation that people act out because they’re not happy. Austen says, Craig did it too; he was lashing out. Craig asks why Austen is defending Shep when he’s always had Austen’s back. He thought they were good. Austen says, this is first level delusion, and in his interview, he says, Craig is on a trip with his ex, who’s hooking up with Whitney, and Craig turned his anger to him. Craig needs to look in the mirror and see he’s a-hole number one. Craig says, they’re all crazy, and he doesn’t want to be around this negative behavior. Craig tells Austen that he’s a crazy person, but Craig is the one with an insane look on his face. He says, for the record, he and Austen aren’t friends anymore, and Venita says, that’s a lot. Craig says, these people are crazy; it’s nuts. He walks toward the house, saying, what’s wrong with these people? More food comes, and Craig comes back. He says, there’s one person who needs to apologize, and he knows who he is. Olivia says, well? and Austen says, wow. Crickets chirp, and finally Naomie says, how about them Metsthe food is incredible. Whitney says, they have the rec center set up especially for Craig. He’s looking despondent… pissy. Naomie tells Craig, stop being mad, and Taylor says, leave his bullsh*t. Nobody hates him. Craig says, there’s a person who needs to apologize, and Whitney says, Craig is being a Debbie Downer. Craig says, classic projection, and Olivia suggests Austen apologize so they can enjoy night, but Austen says she’s not putting that on him. Craig screamed like a crazy person, and Olivia is taking his side. He’s not even. He’s out of here.

Austin wakes up saying, f*** you, Craig. Olivia calls Leva, and says, their cabin looks like spring break. Leva asks what she missed, and we see a clip of Leva saying she’s going to bed and Venita saying she’s not about to do this all night. The two of them leave, and in Leva’s interview, she says, is she going to sit and listen to them scream or go home and cuddle with one of her Lemars? She’s going home. In Venita’s interview, she says, they can have their fighting. She’s going to need more than a spa day to get over Auldbrass. Olivia tells Leva that she sat next to Austen at dinner, but she didn’t even get to talk to him about Ciara. He can’t have girlfriend expectations of her when he’s going out with someone else. There’s an amazing breakfast spread – food porn! – and Leva asks if Austen and Olivia are going to talk today. Olivia says she wasn’t chasing after anyone in these woods last night. Austen disappeared, and they went to a magical rec room. We see a clip of Whitney taking them to a well-equipped game room, and telling them, they have snacks, liquor, bowling… Olivia says, they bowled and played basketball. It was so much fun. Naomie and Whitney kept disappearing. We see a clip of Craig carrying a sword. He bangs on Whitney’s bedroom door and yells, and Naomie’s voice says he sounds like a crackhead. Craig says he’s the guard of the house, and hopes they find happiness. He’ll protect the gates. Craig calls Paige, and says, apparently everyone knew Whitney and Naomie were hooking up. He guesses they’re a thing now, so why keep it a secret? He found an antique sword, and he was banging on Whitney’s door, telling him to come party with his friend, and Naomie’s voice told him to go to f***ing bed. Paige says, can you imagine talking to your ex while the guy you’re doing it with is next to you? Whitney sees Naomie walking toward the house, and tells Austen that her gait has elegance. When she comes in, Whitney tells her what he just said, and she doesn’t understand, thinking he’s talking about a gate. He says, the way she walks, and she asks if it’s weird, but he says, she has elegance. He tells her that they have an incredible chef, and she goes to the kitchen. Austen winks at Whitney, and asks what they did last night. Whitney says, they drove around the property; the moonlight was beautiful. Then they had a glass of wine, but Craig interrupted them. Whitney sits with Naomie, and thanks her for being a loyal and good friend. She’s a good shoulder to cry on; a naked shoulder. She face palms. Craig comes in, and goes to get food. Austen wonders what kind of person acts normal after a psychotic break. Whitney says, he knows it’s not normal, but doesn’t care.

In Naomie’s interview, she says, of course she should have known Craig and Austen’s lovers quarrel would continue. Austen says he hates Craig, and with a German accent, Whitney says he wants to do American pedestrian games. Craig gets in a hammock with Shep, and Shep dumps him out. Whitney says he’s too old for this sh*t. Agreed.  Shep asks if Olivia is still mad at Austen, and she says she is. In Olivia’s interview, she wonders why she should be upset when she doing something Austen encouraged, and he was just going to play naked Twister with his ex. The group decides to do an egg toss, and Shep says he’s going to win. They called him Old Egg Toss in college. They argue, and Whitney says he’s not playing. He wonders why they’re not on the tennis court. Marcie is the referee, and John is paired with Austen. They’re out first, then Shep drops the egg that Naomie tossed to him, so they’re out. The egg doesn’t break though, and Taylor steps on it, causing Shep to have a hissy fit. She says, it fell, but he says, that’s not the name of the game, and calls her a f***ing idiot. Olivia throws an egg at him, telling him not to call Taylor names. Shep says, Taylor is his opponent, but Olivia says, Taylor is his girlfriend. They argue, and Craig wonders, what the f*** is going on? Olivia says, Shep is a f***ing idiot, and Shep says, he should have called Taylor something worse. In Austen’s interview, he says he’s seen Shep be rude to Taylor before. It doesn’t sit well, and it shouldn’t sit well with Taylor either. Naomie walks back to the house with Olivia, and tells her that Shep is being abusive. Shep says, the wussification of America continues.

Craig tells Whitney that the girls are getting pissed off, and in Craig’s interview, he says he’s never seen Shep talk to Taylor like that. He’s talked to other people that way, but not his girlfriend. This is bad. In Marcie’s interview, she says she’s known Shep his whole life. He’s like that; he throws tantrums. He curses out his mother, and he was raised better. He had good parents, but he’s just hard to tame. Naomie and Taylor sit inside, and Naomie says, that was insane. She can tell Taylor is used to it. Taylor says, it happens often, and Naomie tells her, Shep said it was lucky he didn’t call her something worse in front of all their friends. That’s abuse. Taylor says she didn’t even hear him call her a f***ing idiot; she’s so accustomed to it. Whitney joins them, and says, Shep is a feral animal who doesn’t think. Naomie tells Taylor, what Whitney said. If Shep loved her, he woudn’t put her in this situation. Taylor says she loves and cares about him. She knows she can’t fix him, but she cares about him, and she’s exhausted. Naomie asks, how much is Taylor going to take before… Taylor says, she absolutely breaks. Marcie tells Shep that Taylor is upset, and he says, she stomped his egg; it was the proper response. Marcie suggests he say he’s sorry that he was heated in the moment, but Shep says, he’ll never say he’s sorry. Maybe Taylor should date Craig, and they can say they’re sorry all day. How are you feeling? I’m sorry. Whitney says, as Shep’s counsel and attorney, he wants to talk to him. Taylor is upset. Shep says, Naomie made her upset. Everybody sucks. Whitney says, trust him on this. Talk to her. In Shep’s interview, he says he talks to Taylor like she’s one of the family. They roasted his dad at the dinner table. It’s how he was raised. He tells Whitney, it’s never her fault. It couldn’t possibly be.

Craig says, Austen is doing it again; acting like nothing happened. He says he has no problem with Austen, and Austen says, you could have fooled him. Craig says he wondered why Austen was defending Shep. Austen is supposed to be his best friend, and didn’t have his back. He’d do anything for Austen. Austen says, friends tell you when you do something stupid, and Craig says, Austen’s timing was off. He should have said he’s just trying to help, and Craig shouldn’t act that way. He loves Austen, and doesn’t like battling him. He doesn’t like waking up being mad at Austen. They were saying stuff to hurt each other. In Craig’s interview, he says, every relationship has faults, and he has his. Austen needs to accept him so when he’s drunk, he doesn’t blow up. Austen says he has Craig’s back, and Craig is wrong if he thinks he doesn’t. They hug, and Craig tells Austen not to act like everything is okay. He can’t keep doing that cycle. In Austen’s interview, he says, no way hell he’s in the wrong, and he’s not apologizing. They go to find out what Shep did. Naomie tells Taylor that she’ll literally fight Shep if Taylor wants, when Shep comes in, and Taylor walks outside. Shep says, lay it on him, and Naomie asks, what attitude is that? Taylor is crying because of the way he spoke to her, and how he’s treating her. Shep tells her that he doesn’t say everything right all the time. If she has a problem with that, she can look elsewhere. He’s sure there’s a boring accountant who will worship the ground she walks on. Go get him. Because there’s no middle ground, I guess. Naomie tells him, just acknowledge he made a mistake. It’s not weakness to say you’re sorry; it doesn’t change who he is. Shep says he means what he says, and says what he means.  

Taylor calls Craig, who’s with Marcie on the tennis court. She tells them that she’s going back. She wants to get out. Marcie asks her to talk to them, and Taylor says she’s packing. Marcie says she didn’t know Taylor was that upset, and Craig says, clearly, it didn’t go well with Shep. They go to find Taylor. Shep tells Naomie that he doesn’t care about this trivial bullsh*t. He just wants to shoot hoops, throw eggs, and laugh, You know, the non-trivial bullsh*t. Naomie says, maybe he and Taylor don’t need to talk today, and Shep rants about being in love with Taylor. He sarcastically thanks Naomie for the great advice.  Taylor tells Marcie and Craig that Shep is out of his mind, and Marcie says, they don’t want Taylor to leave.

Austen looks for Olivia , and they walk to the lake. She says, they haven’t talked since the dog wedding, which in itself is weird. She got word from Leva and Naomie that Austen was unhappy with her date situation. Austen says he’s been bummed, but it’s his own fault for saying they should have fun and take it slow, She did exactly what he told her to do. Everything dumb that happens in his life is a product of his own decision making. He wants to date her. She says she knows he was hanging out with Ciara, and he starts to stammer. She asks if he went home with her, and Austen says, it was a great time to reconnect, totally avoiding the question. Olivia asks how he could be so bothered by her blind date that he went out with someone he has a history with. He asks if it bothers her, and she says she wishes he had told her. He says he’s been thinking about her, and doesn’t want to date other people. He likes her a lot. Olivia says she doesn’t want to date other people either, and she genuinely cares about him. They need to be honest, and go from there. If he’d told her what was bothering him, this could have all been avoided. From now on, they need to talk to each other. You’d think this wouldn’t be a problem, since none of these guys seem to have issues with airing their feelings.

Shep asks to talk to Taylor, and Craig asks if he can see Shep for a second first. They sit outside, and Craig says, Shep has met one girl who loves him for who he is. He told her who he was, and she appreciates and loves him anyway. Being considerate and nice isn’t asking him to change. He needs to say he didn’t mean to upset her; not that she shouldn’t have gotten upset. Shep says he treats every relationship the same, and Craig says, if Shep loves her, he’ll say he’s sorry. It’s a choice he has to make. Apologizing doesn’t change him. Shep says, he’ll apologize because he loves her, and in Shep’s interview, he says, Craig knows him best. Craig is the only one qualified to talk about his and Taylor’s relationship. Craig says, sometimes you’ve got to do things you think are stupid for the people you love. Shep goes back in, and asks to talk to Taylor. She says she doesn’t know, but he says he’s begging her.

Taylor finally relents, and she and Shep go to thier room. She says, this sucks – all of it. The others pack, and Craig says he hates packing. Austen tells Craig that he’s a disease. Marcie tells John that she’s glad to get out of Chaotic Creek; so much drama. She’s ready to go home. Taylor cries, and Shep says, they’re okay, right? He’s sorry. He loves her, and doesn’t love anybody except her. He’s stubborn, opinionated, loud, and hard to deal with, and he appreciates her dealing with him. He’s a better person with her. He’s not a fool though, so if he’s not good enough, that’s okay. He’ll be sad and brokenhearted, but he’ll understand. He knows he’s an idiot. She says, she didn’t even hear him call her an idiot. She didn’t realize until Olivia threw the egg, and told him not to talk to her like that. Then he said he should have said worse, in front of their friends. When he’s angry, this inner being comes out. She doesn’t know what it is, and it scares her. She loves him so much. Her family loves him, but she’s exhausted. Sometimes she wants to quit, but she doesn’t think they’re totally lost. Shep says, that’s why he’s with her. He needs someone like her. He wants to see her happy, and make plans for the future. What does she want him to do? He’ll do anything. It’s not easy finding someone like her, he knows that. She says, the one thing she wants him to work on is being vulnerable. He needs to put his ego aside, and be kind to people. He says, that’s completely fair. Every now and then, he’s a jerk. He’ll work on being better. He never wants to be a jerk to her. In his interview, he says, it’s awful seeing her upset. He reacted in the worst way. She tells him how she really feels, and even if it’s not what he wants to hear, he respects it. He tells her that he wants her to be happy, and kisses her.

Next time, Austen throws a Friendsgiving; Naomie says she stayed an extra night with Whitney; a deep friend turkey; and Naomie asks to talk to Paige, who asks if Naomie still has feelings for Craig. Hard to believe these people are in their 30s, eh? I’m just glad Taylor finally came to her senses.

🏝 A Three Hour Tour…

Cruise by tomorrow for some soap, tea, quotes, and a diverse pick from the music collection in my mind. Until then, stay safe, stay never losing hope or your sense of humor, and stay sometimes doing things you think are stupid for the people you love.