What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

TJ tells Elizabeth, there’s dedication and martyrdom; she should go home. She says she’s not going until she knows Jason is okay, and he supposes there’s no point in arguing.

In the elevator, Ava says Nikolas is unusually quiet. He says he heard from Spencer, and she asks if they worked things out. Is he planning to work on their marriage, or leave her and his fortune behind? He says, they are, only answering her first question.

Willow tells Michael that she never thought they’d get out, and he asks how many books they read Wiley. She says she lost count, and Michael says, Wiley held out long as he could, but was asleep by the end of Goodnight, Moon. She hopes when this is over, they’re able to read to Wiley every night.

At the MetroCourt, Nelle says Julian knows how to spoil her, and he asks how he can when she’s already rotten. He tells her, whoever is doing the hostage holding, pays the bill. She says, until the judge makes a ruling, they need to make a good impression of the happy, thriving couple they are. Ava and Nikolas come by, and Ava says she thinks Nelle needs to look those words up. She doesn’t think they mean what Nelle thinks they mean. (Ha-ha! A nod to The Princess Bride.) Nelle asks if Ava is there to congratulate her on becoming Ava’s sister-in-law, and Ava asks Nikolas to give them privacy. He leaves, and Nelle says he didn’t have to go; they’re all family. Ava says there’s no need for Nikolas to witness this. She and her big brother have a lot to catch up on.

Lulu sees Ned at the hospital, and asks if she can have a moment. He says, it depends on the subject matter, and she says rumors are circulating that Cyrus has offered to bail the hospital out, but ELQ is going to block him by providing the money instead. Does Ned have a comment? He says, to the reporter who leaked ELQ’s last major acquisition? No. She says, what about off the record? To a family friend who knows Cyrus is bad news and cares as much about the hospital as he does. Information could be helpful. Her mom is still in DC, but one of her contacts on the GH board told her that Cyrus put forth a very attractive proposal, and they’re voting tomorrow night. Ned says, which means they’re running out of time.

On the phone with Martin, Valentin says Sam turned him down, but he’s not overly concerned. She’ll have a change of heart sooner rather than later.

Jordan tells Curtis, she’s working on a case, and doing her job. Curtis says he knows when she’s holding back. Why not not do that this time, and tell him the truth? She says, fine. She had a meeting with Cyrus.

Cyrus toasts to Jason. He imagines Jason would have been a worthy adversary.

Sonny asks Brando to take him through what happened at the garage. Brando says he fixed Jason’s bike… Sam appears, and says he’s lying. Jason would never let anyone touch his bike.

Franco comes to the hospital, and Elizabeth asks Franco how Jake is doing. He puts on a brave face. Franco says he doesn’t know anyone who’s been through such darkness and come out good. She says she does, and he thanks her. She says she should go see how Jake is doing, but he says he knows she wants to hang out until she gets news about Jason; he understands. And she’s probably making overtime. She says she is, and calls him a gold-digger. He says, now she knows. He’s feeling neglected, but she can make it up to him at the unveiling tomorrow. She says, with everything going on… and he says she’s planning on not going, isn’t she?

Sam says, no way in hell did Jason ask Brando to work on his bike. Brando says Jason didn’t. Jason ordered a stabilizer and he thought he was doing Jason a solid. She says, it’s the same thing that failed and caused the crash, but Sonny says they don’t know that. She says, it makes sense. It’s Brando’s fault Jason is fighting for his life.

Curtis asks where Jordan was with Cyrus, and she says, his new apartment. She was perfectly safe. It would take him too much time to break in a new Commissioner if she was dead. He asks if she ever thought of having some backup, but she says she can’t have a witness to her acts of corruption under duress. He says she needs to go to Mac, and make this an official sting operation, but she says she has to figure out how to do this without Curtis and TJ getting hurt. Curtis suggests she keep him in the loop the next time she goes to a private meeting at a known drug trafficker’s lair. She says she should have told him, but she knew he wouldn’t let her go.

Ned tells Lulu that no one wants to see the hospital fall into Cyrus’s hands. Lulu says half the board thinks he’ll save the hospital, and Ned says, the other half don’t care who it is, as long as the check clears. Michael is preoccupied, but Ned is going to hold an emergency family shareholders meeting tomorrow. He’ll make a pitch for ELQ to be the hospital’s chief financial backer, and with any luck, it will be approved. Lulu says, with any luck? She thought it was a done deal.

Valentin tells Martin to focus keeping the shares he’s already acquire under wraps. He’ll take care of the details. Nikolas comes by, and wonders if someone needs to watch their back, their wallet, or both.

Ava says she would have offered to buy the newlyweds a set of knives, but she didn’t think it would end well. Nelle says, cash is acceptable. After all, she and Julian are starting a life together. Ava wonders if she should leave it on the dresser. Tell her how this blissful union came to be? Nelle says it was after she saw how close Julian was with Wiley. There’s nothing sexier than a good daddy. Ava says, or a good-looking grandpa. Go on with the love story. Nelle says she spent some evenings at Charlie’s, and she and Julian got to know on another. Ava asks, when and with what did Nelle blackmail her brother? She hates to hijack Nelle’s story, but she’s taking forever. Nelle says Ava has had an unlucky time in the romance department, but Ava says those days are over. She’s a legitimate princess, and her marriage isn’t just a sham. Julian says she’s right. The bloodthirsty manipulative little bitch blackmailed him.

Michael tells Willow that he has confidence in Diane. The best they can do is stay positive, and hope for the best. Willow hopes he’s right. The doorbell rings, and she says until the ruling is made in their favor, she’s not taking anything for granted.

Elizabeth tells Franco that Jason is having exploratory surgery. He says he hopes it goes well, and she says she wants to stay close – for Jake’s sake. He says he was selfish to ask, and she says, it wasn’t; it’s just bad timing. Felix calls to her, and she tells Franco to let Jake know that she’ll call if there’s any news.

Valentin wonders if no one ever told Nikolas that it’s impolite to eavesdrop. Nikolas asks if no one ever told Valentin not to make clandestine phone calls in public places. Valentin says that’s where the best clandestine phone calls are made. Nikolas says the unveiling is tomorrow, and Valentin says he can’t make it. Nikolas says he wouldn’t put it past Valentin to sabotage the night, since he probably still misses Windymere. Valentin says his business is no longer Nikolas’s concern, and turns his back.

Ned tells Lulu, someone is making a play for ELQ, and she says, again? He says, this is different. It’s off the record? She says, of course (🍷), and he says someone is using an intermediary to buy up the voting shares. She asks how bad the situation is, and he says he’s reasonably confident it’s under control. She hopes he’s right, because if there’s any delay, Cyrus will swoop right in. Cyrus walks up, and says, that’s why his ears are burning. He’s always at the top of someone’s mind around there. How flattering.

Nelle tells Julian, it’s one thing to make a joke with his sister, but she’s his wife. Surely he wouldn’t want anyone to think their marriage is anything but legitimate. Julian misses the opportunity to say, don’t call me Shirley, and says, Ava already knows. Ava says, even if she didn’t, Nelle just gave it away with her poorly veiled threats. She’s aided and abetted Nelle, and knows how Nelle works. Nelle says she’s a changed person; she’s learning and growing. Ava says Nelle may get over on her brother, but why did she go to all this trouble, when she has all the money she needs? Julian says Nelle thought she’d have a better chance at custody, and Ava laughs, saying Julian isn’t the best character witness, and shouldn’t be trifled with. Nelle hopes Ava’s not threatening her. After what they’ve been through together, and done for one another, Ava should trust her as much as she trusts Ava. She wouldn’t want Sonny to find out what Julian did. Neither would she want something to happen to her brother. Nelle says she’ll have this put on Julian’s tab, and goes to the bar. Julian tells Ava, go on. Tell him what an idiot he is, getting mixed up with Nelle. Ava asks what on earth he was thinking, and why hasn’t he killed Nelle yet? 

Willow opens the door to Harmony, who congratulates Willow and Michael on their wedding. She read about it in The Invader. Willow says, it was spur of the moment, and Michael says they were committed to make it happen. Harmony says, when she read about the custody suit, she figured that’s why they expedited things. Michael says, it was a small ceremony, and Harmony says she doesn’t want to jeopardize anything, since she’s associated with the criminal element. Willow says, that’s in the past, but what about her associations in the present?   

Curtis says, Jordan is right, and she says she knew he’d try to stop her. He says, not try; he would have. Jordan says, maybe she would have been a no show. Then TJ might have been jumped on his way home, or Stella would have received a disturbing text message all the way in London, or Curtis would have been in a concrete foundation at a new construction site, and she would have never known what happened to him. That’s why she didn’t tell him things were getting out of control. He says, it’s worse, keeping him in the dark, and she says, sorry she can’t practice full disclosure all the time. He says maybe she’ll practice it now. Look him in the eyes, and tell him there’s nothing else she’s keeping from him. She flashes back to calling (we assume) Harmony on the burner phone, and saying she has to do something. She’s not sure she can go through with it, and needs to be told it’s okay.

Sonny tells Sam to get back, and she says they all know what caused the accident, but Sonny says, it could have been anything. It could been another vehicle or road conditions. He knows it’s hard to believe that Jason’s not perfect, but he misses things. They need to keep it together until Jason pulls through. She says, if he pulls through, and Brando says he knows his way around a bike blindfolded; he never makes a mistake. She says, then explain, but he says he can’t. She says, unless it’s not a mistake.

Julian tells Ava, the second the judge gives a decision, his part in this is over. She tells him, stop making this sound like it’s under control. He wouldn’t be there if Nelle didn’t have him over a barrel. If he thinks Nelle will release him when this is over, he’s a damn fool.

Jordan says, the secrets she’s kept were to protect Curtis and the people they care about. He says, so that’s a no? and she says she’s sorry. It’s tearing her up. He says, then let him in. Unburden herself. She asks what he’ll do then? Sit on it, or take it to Sonny? She knows he’s met with Sonny and Jason at least once. What did they talk about, coffee? Curtis says there was a target on Cyrus’s back as soon as he held TJ captive; now he’s holding the whole city captive. Jordan says she can’t speak out, or people will get hurt, and she can’t quit. Compromise or not, she can’t sit back while a mob war breaks out. She has to figure a way out. He says, and in the meantime, she’ll jump when Cyrus says jump, and do his bidding, while she makes compromise after compromise.

Michael tells Harmony that they know she’s mixed up with a crime boss who’s new in town, and it has to be Cyrus. She says, the man who set up a charitable foundation… Willow says they know she’s a go-between. Jason has been on to her since she approached Sonny’s cousin at the garage.

Brando asks what Sam is saying; he’d never make a mistake like that. She says, then it must have been deliberate. He can’t believe she’s accusing him of trying to kill Jason. Why would he do that? She says, tell her. When things go to hell with her family, he’s always there. The shooting, then her sister. Sonny asks what with her sister, and she says, it was a misunderstanding. Brando says when Cyrus came to town, Sonny became a target, and she says, that’s why it’s no coincidence. He says he knows she’s worried about Jason, so he’s not taking it personally, but she doesn’t know a damn thing about him. She says she doesn’t, and it’s time to do something about that. Elizabeth comes out, and Sam asks if Jason is okay.  

Julian says he appreciates Ava’s concern and creative solutions, but the thing with Nelle is under control. She says, it doesn’t look that way, but if he says so. He says he does, and she wonders where Nikolas ran off to. Julian says they both got themselves stuck in marriages of convenience, but she says she didn’t get herself into anything. He says, they’re damned if they do, and damned if they don’t.

Willow asks Harmony why she’s really there; no stories or excuses, the truth. Harmony says she’s honestly there to congratulate them on their marriage. She can see how much they love each other. The love may be friendship, and may never be more than that, but it’s still a kind of love. Willow thanks her; it was kind of her to say that. Michael’s phone rings, and he steps away to take it. Harmony tells Willow, Michael is a good man, and she deserves what he has to offer. She doesn’t mean the house – although that doesn’t hurt – but his strength and kindness. She’s going to… Willow says, what? and Harmony says, forget she said anything. Forget she was there. Please promise to listen to Jason, and do what he tells her to. He understands the situation, and can protect her. Willow says, from who? Cyrus? Michael comes back in, and Willow asks if he’s okay. He says, Jason was in an accident.

Elizabeth tells Sam that Jason is stable, but still unconscious. Sam asks if she can see him, and Elizabeth says she’ll take Sam to ICU. They leave, and Sonny tells Brando, hold on. Now that Sam is gone, he has questions of his own.   

Cyrus tells Ned and Lulu that he thought he’d pop in, visit the board, and find out how the deliberation of his offer is going. Ned says the hospital has been pushed into a corner, but who knows? Another proposal might come across to save them, and Cyrus can save his money. Then they won’t have to consider a man with a tarnished reputation. Cyrus says they’ve been given the wrong impression, and assures them he’s an innocent man. Lulu says, legally exonerated doesn’t equal innocence, and he says, doesn’t he know it. Fortunately, he has the feeling his damaged reputation is about to be rejuvenated.

Jordan tells Curtis that Cyrus wants her to clear his name. He says she got his conviction expunged, but she says, it’s not enough. Even though his record is clean, he’s still perceived as bad. Curtis asks how she’s going to do this, and she says she’s holding a press conference. He says she’s holding a random press conference to tell everyone how Cyrus loves children and rescues kittens, and she says as Commissioner, she’s going to vouch for Cyrus. He says, then Cyrus gets what he wants, but she says she doesn’t see another option. She knows what happened to Jason, and doesn’t want to invite more trouble. She needs to treat it as a warning, and can’t let anyone interfere, including him.

Sam goes in to see Jason, and asks Elizabeth what the doctors said. Elizabeth tells her, the surgery went well, and there’s no immediate cause for alarm. They’ll know more when he wakes up. Sam says she’d like to be alone with him, and Elizabeth leaves. Sam tells Jason not to quit on her now, and takes his hand.

Brando asks if Sonny thinks he wrecked Jason’s bike, but Sonny says, if he did, they wouldn’t be having this conversation. He needs Brando to tell him if there’s any information out there. Does he think there’s a chance he might have done something? Could a mistake, an oversight, a faulty part have caused the accident? Brando says, absolutely not. He checked the part before and after; it was perfect. Sonny asks if there’s something else Brando needs to tell him, and Brando flashes back to Cyrus coming to the garage, saying his car is fine, but he’s there to discuss another matter. He tells Sonny, nothing that he can think of.

Lulu asks how Cyrus plans on rejuvenating his well-deserved reputation, and he says, the good old-fashioned American way – philanthropy. Ned says, so he’s going to buy himself a good reputation, but Cyrus says he’s going to let his devotion to social justice speak for itself. He has to run, and when he’s gone, Ned says he talks a good game for a known drug lord. Lulu says, Jordan told her mom that Cyrus is the most dangerous man she ever met. They have to stop him, for the sake of the hospital and Port Charles.  

Jordan says, the reporters are there, and Curtis says she doesn’t have to do this. If she talks to them, and gives Cyrus his reputation back, he’ll be one step closer to rebuilding his drug empire. He has a foot everywhere in Port Charles. She says, that ship has sailed, and she doesn’t have much luck in getting it back to shore. She just has to plug the holes. She won’t ask him to stay. She walks out, and he watches as she goes down the hallway.

Sam tells Jason, he’s an expert rider. Someone did this; either Peter or Cyrus. Felix comes in, and tells her that her parole officer is there to see Jason, and Sam asks him to tell her to lay off. Say Jason can’t have visitors. He says, she’s flashing her badge, and acting like there’s a crime in progress. Sam says just tell Delores that she needs twenty minutes, and Felix tells her that she knows what Delores will say. Sam says, that she has ten. He leaves, and she picks up her phone. She calls Valentin, who asks if she’s considered his offer. She says she’s at the hospital; the 10^th floor. Get here fast, please.

Willow tells Michael that she’ll look after Wiley if he wants to go to the hospital, but Michael says, Jason is unconscious. He knows from experience that all they’ll be doing is waiting. Besides, Wiley needs him.

Nikolas finds Elizabeth, and says he heard about Jason. He asks if Jason is going to be okay, and she asks if he’s actually concerned. He says he and Jason were friends long ago, but admits he’s more concerned about her. She and Jason have a lot of history, and share a child. He gets the sense Franco is the jealous type. She says, he’s getting better, and Nikolas says she might want to talk to someone with more distance. He mostly wants to make sure she’s okay. She says, it’s not fair, and he says, accidents happen. She says, not that; him. She wants to be angry at him, then he acts like her friend. He suggests they call a time out. Then she can go back to being angry, but for that one minute, they can be old friends again. He takes her hand, and Franco sees them. Nikolas says, how about it? A time out.

Ava comes by, and says Nikolas is sneaky, turning his GPS off. She had to work extra hard to find him. Elizabeth leaves, and Ava says she felt stood up. Nikolas says, perhaps because she was. She says she loves what passes for Cassadine wit these days. He’s such a good friend. He tells her, go to hell, but she says she means it. Franco is so troubled, he lacks the emotional maturity, but Nikolas is exactly the type of warm, understanding, affectionate friend that Elizabeth needs. Nikolas walks down the hallway, and texts Spencer, saying he’s looking forward to discussing their future together.

Nelle asks if Julian and Ava finished bonding, and he says he hopes she didn’t feel left out. He’s sure a cutting edge new money debutante like her can keep busy at the bar. She says, someone is in a sour mood. She wants to make sure they’re on the same page. The second the verdict is handed down, they’ll go their separate ways. If he can’t trust his wife, who can he trust?

Michael tells Willow, he’s trying not to obsess over the worst case scenario, and she says, but he’s obsessing over the worst case scenario. He says they’re in it for the long haul, and hopes they convinced the court. They’ve done everything they can, and he has to hope it’s enough. His phone dings, and he says, it’s a text from Diane. The judge made a ruling, and wants them to convene first thing tomorrow.

Sonny tells Brando that he wants to check in with Carly, but just so they’re clear, he’s not done yet. He goes into the elevator, and stares straight ahead as the doors close. As Brando walks away, he sees Harmony walking toward him. She says, Mr. Corbin, and keeps walking.

Valentin meets Sam in Jason’s room, and says he’s sorry to hear about Jason. She says she bets, and he says she wanted to see him. She says the police are circling; they don’t want to let her stay in ICU. He says, he’s sorry to hear it, and she asks what the deal is again. He says he gets Danny and Scout’s voting proxy until they’re 18, and he’ll pull strings so she can see Jason whenever she wants. She says, deal.

Lulu tells Ned that Jordan is holding a press conference. Jordan stands at the podium, and says she’s asked to speak publicly, and address head on the rumors about Cyrus. As Commissioner, she holds a firm belief that the law is only as good as how well law enforcement holds its own accountable. She found out that evidence was planted by her former colleagues to frame Cyrus for a crime he didn’t commit. Any implication otherwise is false. Cyrus Renault was and is innocent. They can’t give him back the year he spent behind bars, but as Commissioner, she’ll do what she can to protect his reputation as an upstanding member of the community, as she would for any of them.

Watching from his new home, Cyrus says, there’s his girl. He knew she had potential.

Tomorrow, TJ wonders if Jordan will get fired, Michael asks what the hell is going on? and Curtis tells Cyrus that they’re going to play by his rules from here on out.

Below Deck Mediterranean

Port Adriano, Spain. Kiko leaves, and Hannah tells Rob, there goes her best friend on the boat. It shouldn’t have gone down like that; he’s a good person. Rob says she is too, but she says, not like that. Bugs asks Malia how she thought charter went, and Malia says, it was a lot of smoke and mirrors. Bugs thinks they work well together. Malia says if her boyfriend becomes the chef, he won’t be okay with the messy galley. She and Bugs are used to a certain standard, but some people aren’t. Hopefully Tom will be able to sleep on board tonight. Captain Sandy calls the crew for the tip meeting.

The captain says, obviously, everyone knows about Kiko, but charter is a business. It’s never easy, but in spite of what’s going on, it never effected the client professionalism. She thanks them for that. The tip is $20K, or 1500 euros each. In Hannah’s interview, she says, it’s a great tip, but they need to address the elephant in the room; who the chef is. Captain Sandy says the owner had arranged for them to have a day off together. The crew clinks champagne glasses. Alex talks to Bugs, showing her a picture of his waxed chest. He says he’s due for another waxing, and she can do it. She says, sweet.

Malia calls Tom, and asks if he can stay on the boat tonight. The captain said she wants to meet him. The chef leaving wasn’t planned, and they need a chef. He says he’s not fully prepared to cook, but all right. In Malia’s interview, she says the reason Tom is on his way to the UK is to see a sick family member. He has some personal things weighing in at the moment. The captain calls wherever you call for crew members, and says she knows everyone is looking for a chef. She gets it. In her interview, Hannah says, how convenient. She asks Alex how it’s going with Bugs, and he says they joke around and have a good time, but it’s hard in a work environment. Hannah says, Bugs is good at table décor, but I have no idea how that applies here. Malia asks Captain Sandy if it’s okay if Tom stays on the boat tonight. She can see if eventually he wants to do the rest of the season. The captain says she wants to talk to him about that.

In Bugs’s interview, she says her sister worked with Tom, and was matchmaker for Tom and Malia. She was Malia’s cabin mate, and Tom said he liked her, so she hooked them up. Yachting is an incestuous, small world. Alex radios for Bugs to meet him on deck. He asks her to wax his back, saying he feels like a spotted cow. In her interview, Bugs says, like Wolverine. In Rob’s interview, he says he told Jess he loves her, but she didn’t say it back. He wants to go at a pace she’s comfortable with. A producer asks how many women he’s said that too, and he says, not a lot. Bugs works on Alex’s back, and says they could make a carpet. He’s one hairy lug.

Tom arrives, and Malia runs to meet him. He sweeps her into his arms. Bugs continues waxing as Pete looks on. Malia brings Tom on board, and introduces him around. She shows him the boat, and says it’s a shame about the chef, but it was one pretty bad dinner. I’m so sure she cares. Hannah introduces herself to Tom. Malia and Tom go to the guest cabin, and there are rose petals everywhere with a sign that says, Malia and Tom: Reunited and it feels so good. In Malia’s interview, she says, in their business, it’s extremely hard to maintain a relationship. She and Tom knew each other four weeks, when they were separated all over the globe. When they get time together, it’s amazing. It’s worth fighting for. She doesn’t want say he’s the one, but…

Everyone gets ready to go out. They head for a restaurant, and Rob says he’s feeling sassy. Hannah tells Rob and Jess, she feels jealous; she misses Josh. My bad. I thought her boyfriend’s name was also Tom. Bugs keeps asking for one more shot at the bar, and Alex says he has no Bugs spray, so she kept coming around. Rob tells Tom that he respects how Malia’s defined her position in a masculine dominated industry. Hannah says she’s going back to the boat; she’s not feeling that great. She tells Tom that he has an angel on his hands. I’ll bet she doesn’t think so now. Rob says, there’s a cheers in South Africa that says, never above them, never below them, always beside them. He asks why Jess is so sexy, and they kiss. Hannah eats dinner alone, and talks to Josh on the phone. The others leave to go back by 1:30.   

Rob says, elleshwallsweitbgfbi (not a typo) to Jess as they go to her cabin. In the guest cabin, Tom and Malia get busy. Rob tells Jess that he loves her, like a lot, and she says she loves him too. In her interview, she says she’s in love with him, and laughs. She says she’s had enough hurt in the past, and it’s hard to say, but none of her past relationships understood her, and he does, naturally.

Alex yells for everyone to wake up at 10 am for the beach club. Malia tells Tom the captain is excited to meet him, and introduces them. Captain Sandy asks if they had fun last night, and they tell her they did. Tom says he’s flying to the UK, and Captain Sandy says Malia has told her about his mad skills in the galley. She’s been reading about him, and would like to have a chat with him. She promises Malia that she won’t steal him. Um… I doubt Malia thought she would. She says his resume is what she’s always wanted. He worked his way up. He was a sous chef, he was formally trained, and worked in Michelin star restaurants. He was the head chef on an 80 meter vessel, and the sole chef on a 50 meter boat, serving 12 guests. She says she’s asking if he could help her with this season, and he looks like a deer caught in the headlights. The captain says, their maximum is 8 guests, and they have 11 crew members. He says if he can spend more time with Malia, he’d be happy to help. She says she’s so grateful. She can’t wait to see what he can do. She hugs him, and says, thank you. He explains that he was on his way to the UK because his uncle is quite unwell. If something happens, he’ll have to go. Captain Sandy says, the galley is his.    

Malia asks how Hannah is doing, and Hannah says her stomach is sick. She lies down while the others get ready for the beach club. Tom tells Malia about being offered the job, and she’s excited. In his interview, Tom says he knew she’d get him into trouble one day. Captain Sandy calls everyone to the main salon for an announcement. The captain tells the crew that Tom has agreed to be chef. Everyone is like, yay! except for Hannah. Captain Sandy says she’s grateful; the timing couldn’t have been better. No effing comment. She welcomes him, and tells the crew to have a great day. Hannah says she’ll be joining them in a few hours. She’s not well, and can’t leave the bathroom. In her interview, she says she sees trouble on the horizon. If she has an issue with Malia, she’ll have on with Tom, and vice versa. The crew gets in a taxi, and heads out.

In the taxi, Malia asks Alex how he feels about Tom joining the crew. She says, every chef is a little psychotic, but he’s a good one. They arrive at a gorgeous beach club set in a cliff. In Alex’s interview, he says he never thought he’d see something like this. In Jess’s interview, she says, there are a lot of good selfie spots. They have someone take a group shot. On the boat, Hannah eats toast. Jess takes photos of her and Rob. Jess gets on top of Rob, and Bugs wonders what’s going on over there. In her interview, Jess doesn’t know what level they’re on; PG or R. Tom joins them, but Hannah is a no show. Malia and Bugs sarcastically say, Hannah is sick and unable to make it. In Rob’s interview, he thinks Hannah doesn’t want to be around Bugs. Jess says, it’s definitely bullsh*t. Rob tells Jess that he doesn’t belong in America, and she says, same. She’s flying to Bali after this. He says, maybe he’ll come. Everyone does some paddle boarding and swimming.

The captain checks on Hannah, and asks how she’s feeling. In Captain Sandy’s interview, she says Hannah is on her own, and she’s sad for her. She has to see how Hannah shifts this. She asks if Hannah wants some water or toast, and says she’s there for Hannah; whatever she needs. At the beach club, the crew changes for dinner. Jess takes a picture of Tom and Malia, and they move on to the restaurant. They toast to charter six with a new chef. Alex says Malia told him that Tom did some things with Gordon Ramsay, and Tom says he worked under him in London; it was cool. In his interview, he says he had classical training. His mom cooked for the Queen Mother, and hated it. His dad is a chef, and was a raging alcoholic, who he hasn’t seen since he was young. He thinks his mom saw that in his future, and said if he was going to be a chef, he had to do it properly. The food comes, and Malia thinks Hannah is in bed, watching movies and drinking rosé. Not quite. She’s sitting on her bed, using the computer, and drinking ginger ale. In Jess’s interview, she says her and Rob’s relationship is on steroids. It’s scary, but fun. He’s moving in with her. Malia says she doesn’t know if the cabin change has been approved yet, and Tom says, Plan B is that they share a bunk. In Malia’s interview, she says, grow up. They have to work together and live together; it’s part of yachting. Steam starts to come out of my ears. They leave, and Tom massages Malia’s feet in the taxi. Back on the boat, Jess tells Hannah that she picked the wrong day to get sick, and hopes she feels better. Hannah thanks her.

Bugs tells Malia that she hopes Hannah is all right. She started making beds. Malia says, at least someone is taking the initiative. I hate Malia now, as do many of the fans. She fake asks Hannah, what happened? and Hannah says she thinks it’s something she ate. She feels like she’s been through a washing machine. Malia asks if she has a minute. She’d like to share a cabin with Tom, and Jess and Rob would like to share. Hannah says she needs to have a chat with Bugs. They’ve had friction in the past, and she doesn’t know if it will help the situation. In Hannah’s interview, she says, it’s not going to happen. Malia says she needs to know by today, and hopes they can be professional. Captain Sandy radios the crew that she’s going for a walk, and will be off the boat. Malia tells Alex he’s late. He says, three minutes, and she says, that’s ten minutes in deck life. She gives the deckhands a to-do list.

Hannah tells Bugs that Malia came to her about the cabin situation. She understands that Malia wants to be with her boyfriend, but does she think it’s what’s best for the work environment? Bugs says, ideally, Malia would share a cabin with Tom, and Jess and Rob would share a cabin. Hannah says she and Bugs are probably both apprehensive, since they’ve managed to have a good work relationship. It seems like an unnecessary risk. Bugs agrees, and thinks it’s awkward for them, since they’re in a good state. Bugs says, what’s the plan otherwise? They’ll have to find a way to work it out. In Bug’s interview, she says it’s obvious Malia would want to share a cabin with Tom. Do they suck it up? She’s a mature person, and can live whoever she has to live with. Alex asks Rob when the wedding is, and if he can come. Rob says he’s best man. Hannah tells Malia that Bugs isn’t keen on the idea. Their working relationship is going well, and she doesn’t want to risk it. Malia asks how fair that is to her and Tom? They can find a way to make it work, and put their differences aside. Hannah says she’ll have to talk to Bugs, and Malia says, it’s not Bugs’s decision. Hannah says, just because they’re a couple, doesn’t mean it should be Malia’s way. Malia says Jess and Rob are already sneaking around to be together, and Hannah says, just because a Jess and Rob hooked up two weeks ago, doesn’t mean they should go out of their way to cater to them. Malia says she’s in an actual relationship, and Hannah says, so everyone should change things around? Malia says, if a couple is hired, they bunk together, but Hannah says, they didn’t hire a couple. Malia tells her, why don’t you just man up and share a cabin?

Malia tells Hannah, now that they have a team on board, they have to make room. Hannah says, there is room; with Rob. Malia says, you hired Tom, and Hannah says she didn’t hire him. Malia says, you don’t have couples who are a team not room together, and Hannah says it’s how she and Bugs feel. Malia says they didn’t always get along, and they shared cabin fine. Man up, and share the cabin. Hannah says, man up, and live without her boyfriend for two weeks. In Malia’s interview, she says Tom wouldn’t have joined the crew if they couldn’t be a team. It’s either share a cabin or find a new chef. Bugs gives Tom some chef’s jackets to try out. Hannah radios that she’ll be on the dock, and off the radio for ten minutes, and leaves to have a smoke. Malia tells Captain Sandy that she’s done, and the captain says, talk to her. Malia says Hannah doesn’t want to room with Bugs. Instead of realizing the boat is run a certain way, she’s told why can’t she live two weeks without her boyfriend. Tom is head chef, and you don’t tell the chef that his girlfriend – who is also bosun – can’t room with him because someone can’t get along. The captain radios the crew, saying she’s grateful there’s a chef on board. He’s going to stay in the cabin the other chef (who is now apparently nameless) was staying in. In the captain’s interview, she says Tom did them a favor. The chef gets his pick of cabin, because his rank is over everybody. She tells Malia, stay professional, not emotional. They have enough emotion on board. If she wants to be a captain, she can’t act like that. Malia stomps her foot and sucks her thumb. Not really, but she might as well.

It’s time for the preference sheet meeting. The primaries are Isaac and wife Ashely. Isaac is the CEO of a tech company his father started, and he’s also bringing his father and brother. The company is celebrating getting to 100,000 users. It’s a three-day charter, and a beach picnic lunch has been requested, along with an Arabian Nights themed party, with two belly dancers. They also want Michelin star food, and Captain Sandy appreciates that Tom is on board. She says, let’s do it, her new catchphrase. In the galley, Bugs tells Hannah that she’s looking at her new cabin buddy. Malia and Tom want to share a cabin, and Tom outranks them. The chef can have his pick of cabins. In Hannah’s interview, she says it’s become a power struggle, and she doesn’t want to play that game. Just do your job, and thank your boyfriend at the end of the season like normal people. She tells Bugs, it’s only two weeks.

Malia explains to Rob and Jess how they’re switching cabins. Hannah packs. In Alex’s interview, he says, it makes sense. Rob wonders why he has so many sweaters. In Malia’s interview, she says she doesn’t get it. The crew is scared of Hannah, but she’s not. Maybe the crew is supportive of Hannah, but I guess that’s not a possibility to Malia’s tiny mind. Malia says she’s learned not be intimidated by people who shouldn’t intimidate you. Her brothers taught her that. Bugs packs, and Alex sweeps the deck. Rob tells Jess the bottom bunk is too small to cuddle, so they move to the top bunk. In Jess’s interview, she says, it’s amusing that they’re a brand new couple, and technically living together. She doesn’t know about when she needs to use the bathroom. Tell him, get the hell out of the bedroom? She doesn’t like the pressure. She tells him the top will be the cuddle bed.

Tom cleans the galley. Hannah asks how he’s doing, and tells him if she can do anything, let her know. The crew goes to bed. Captain Sandy gets a text from Malia, saying she’s sorry she has to report this. Attached is a photo of a box that says Valium 5 mg.    

5 hours before charter. Captain Sandy asks first mate David to come to her office. She says she found this, showing him the text, and needs to know the protocol. She wants him be there. To be honest, it’s not perfect timing. She calls Hannah in, and says it’s been brought to her attention that Hannah has drugs on board.

There was no preview, because they probably didn’t want Malia to give the plot away – like she did with this one. Apparently, her Instagram post trying to justify her actions didn’t go as well as she thought it would on several levels.

🥕 What’s Up, Bugs…?

Looks like Alex is never going to get anywhere.

Below Deck’s Christine ‘Bugsy’ Drake Is ‘Anti-Boatmance’ but Likes Flirting With Alex Radcliffe

🐊 After a While, Crocodile…

My new weekly venture –  https://mupoentertainment.com/theresa-krakauskas/ – is due on Tuesday at noon, and I’m still editing. See you next time, and don’t forget to stay safe, stay easy-going, and stay out of other people’s business, especially when you don’t know the details.