What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Carly tells Jason that even if Nina doesn’t let Sonny know directly, she’s going to make Sonny aware that she slept with John Cates. But just to be clear, she did not. Jason says, copy that, and she says, that’s new. She doesn’t remember him ever saying, copy that, before. Anyway, she doesn’t know what she’s worried about. Sonny already considers her a traitor. Why would he care who she slept with? Jason says, because he loves her, but she says she doesn’t think he does anymore, and leaves.

Ava goes to Nina’s office and tells Madison that Nina is expecting her. Madison says, unfortunately, Nina’s been called away to guest services, but Ava says she doesn’t mind waiting and goes into Nina’s office and sits down. She takes out her phone and pulls out a plastic bag with some pills in it. She flashes back to taking Sonny’s pills to help her sleep and makes a call. She asks if this is Applied Analytical… Good. She’s hoping they can help her. She thinks there’s been a mistake with her husband’s medication. If they took a look at his pills, would they be able to identify the prescription and the strength?… She can’t ask his pharmacy. They’re online… That’s wonderful. She thanks them and says she’ll messenger them today.

On air at Home & Heart, Lucy says he has every intention of returning as mistress of ceremonies at the Nurses Ball… Backstage, Brook asks Maxie how they’re doing, and Maxie says, see for herself. Lucy says, it’s not the same without her, and Haven says she watches the Nurses Ball every year. Lucy thanks her and says, that’s very kind of her. Sometimes they do have very special guests… Haven says, and the guests always look so fabulous, so tell them what role Deception plays in all that gorgeous hair and makeup. Lucy says, of course (🍷) Deception is so very important, but she has to say, it’s not more important than wardrobe. Especially her wardrobe, because sometimes she’s had more than a dozen gown changes. Of course (🍷), like she mentioned, she was unable to host last year. It was the first time ever, but she was lucky because she was able to run things remotely… Maxie tells Brook not to worry. She called the cavalry, and Brook says she hopes Maxie means a literal legion of soldiers who will distract the viewers from this disaster. Maxie says, only one soldier, the best one for the job, and Brook says, they’d better get here soon, because they’re going down fast. Lucy says she started Deception. It was her little brainchild back in the 90s…

Lois invites Gregory in and asks if there’s something she can get for her favorite in-law to be. He says, no, but thank you. He doesn’t want to take up too much of her time. He was just hoping to get a quick word with Brook. She says, Brook is off doing something with Deception. Is this about the wedding? He says, as a matter of fact, it is, and she says, then he’s come to the right person. As the mother of the bride, it’s her honor and pleasure to make sure this wedding comes off without a hitch.

Anna sits at her desk, making notes about the people connected to Pikeman. There’s a knock at the door, and John asks if he’s interrupting. She says, my God. What happened to you?

Lucy says she’s sure some of the viewers remember, the 90s were a very different time, and Haven says, you know what she remembers most about the 90s? Lucy says, do tell, and Haven says, the hole in the ozone layer. It was an environmental crisis that affected everyone on earth, not just Port Charles. And does Lucy know what layers were affected the most? The epidermis and the dermis. They could have used a face cream like the one Lucy brought them today. Lucy says, they sure could have, and Haven asks her to tell them about it. Lucy says, they didn’t have that, so she’s thinking, maybe subconsciously, that is exactly the idea that made her want to create Deception. Haven says, and she did. And now, Deception and Home & Heart would like to invite the home audience to enjoy Deception’s new face cream at home. Brook tells Maxie that she never thought she’d hear herself say this, but thank God for Haven. She doesn’t know how much more of the Lucy chronicles they can take. Maxie says, don’t worry. The cavalry is here. and Scotty says he got here as quick as he could. Brook says, this is the cavalry? Scotty joins them, and Maxie tells him, this is what they need him to do. Get up on that stage and get Lucy to talk about the product. Brook says, just get her off the damn stage, and Scotty says he’ll take care of it.

Haven says, come on, just a little dab, and tries to put some of the cream on Lucy’s face, and Lucy says, no, but thank you so much. As she mentioned, this cream looks best, starts, and works best on completely washed skin. You do not put it over makeup. Haven says she’s sure they can get someone up here to get that makeup right off Lucy’s face, and Lucy says, on camera. Haven says, oh yes, on camera, and her washed, unmade up face will be in a nice, tight close-up. Lucy says, that will only happen over one of their dead bodies, when Scotty comes onstage and says, good thing he just showed up. Haven says, this is a closed set, but Lucy says, actually, it’s not a closed set to a dear, dear friend. Also, he happens to be the lawyer for Deception. So viewers out there, please welcome noted personal injury and defense attorney, Scott Baldwin. Scotty thanks her for the warm welcome, and says, about this face cream… Lucy says, know what she’s thinking? Memory Lane. The 2013 Nurses Ball, they were on the stage together at one point, and this takes her back to that Nurses Ball. Actually, that was a time twelve years went by when they didn’t have a Nurses Ball, and she knew she couldn’t let that hiatus to go on one more year. Maxie says, oh well. It was worth a shot. Deception was nice while it lasted. Brook tells her, don’t give up yet. She’s got one more Hail Mary. She jets.

Tracy walks into the stable in riding clothes and calls to Cody. She says she’s ready for her ride, and Cody comes out. He says, she’s running a little late, and she says she hopes that means her horse is saddled up and ready to go. He says, actually… and she says she wanted to tell him that she hasn’t ridden in a while, so she wanted to just take the horse for a walk around the arena. Just until she gets her feet back. He says, okay, so about the saddle… She says she loves that saddle. She rode that saddle for years. It’s a multi-generational saddle. He tells her, like she said, she hasn’t used it in a while and there was a problem with the way it was stored. She says, that’s a dressage saddle. It was custom made. If there’s a problem with it, he’s out on his hind end with no pillion to cushion him.

Gregory tells Lois that he’s sure Chase and Brook’s day will be hitchless, especially with her at the helm. She says, he’s right of course (🍷), but she thanks him for noticing, and he says he calls it like he sees it. She asks him to sit down and says, come on, tell her. What’s worrying him? He says, it’s a small thing really, and she asks if he needs to change his entrée from chicken to fish. Because there’s plenty of time. Speaking of time, does he happen to have a copy of what he’s going to be saying at the altar? It’s not because she needs to approve anything at all. It’s just that she needs to know how long it’s going to take. He looks startled and a bit overwhelmed.

Jason asks when Sonny stopped loving Carly, and she says, people fall out of love all the time. He knows that. He says, but not her and Sonny. They can’t live together – that’s happened before – but they still love each other. She says she tried. Sonny was different after he came back from Nixon Falls. He was infatuated with Nina. Jason agrees he was different, and Carly says, and to Sonny, nothing could ever be Nina’s fault. It was her fault, it was Jason’s fault… He thinks they went behind his back. He thought she was unfaithful to him. When they got word Jason had died, she felt like her heart was ripped out of her chest, but to Sonny, he barely noticed Jason was gone.

Tracy says she wants to see her saddle, and Cody says he thought she’d never ask. He calls to Sasha, who walks in with the saddle. He says, it turns out Sasha has a way with Havana leather, no matter how old or water damaged. Tracy says she can’t believe that’s the same saddle, and Sasha says, it’s a wonder what some balm and a sheepskin glove can do. Tracy says she had no idea that when Sasha chose to leave Deception, it would work out so well for her, and Sasha says she’s welcome. Tracy asks Cody what he’s waiting for. Put the saddle on the horse. He says, yes, ma’am, and Tracy says she’ll be outside. Cody thanks Sasha and says, she just saved his hind end. She says, it’s the least she could do. It’s a nice hind end.

John says, by all appearances, he was the target of a mugging, and Anna asks what he means, by all appearances. He says he was attacked by two guys on the waterfront. They came out of nowhere, laid him out, but they didn’t get around to robbing him. It could have been because the beating was interrupted or… Anna says, or it could have been orchestrated, and he says he’d bet his badge on it. She says, for argument’s sake, the waterfront isn’t the safest part of town, and he says, especially this part of the waterfront, a block from the Corinthos Coffee warehouse. Coincidence? She says, that depends. What was he doing snooping around Corinthos Coffee?

Carly says, Sonny told her that he was in love with Nina. Then he tried to walk it back, telling her that they were leftover feelings from Nixon Falls or something like that, but she told him she wanted a separation. But Sonny decided they were going to reconcile. More than that, he wanted to renew their wedding vows, and he gave her an old tomato ultimatum. If she didn’t show up, he’d know they were over. Jason asks if she showed up, and she says, yeah, she showed up. She was an hour late, and by then, Sonny was in bed with Nina. She literally walked in on them. He says he’s sorry, and she says, it was awful. It was horrible. There was a big fight. Sonny blamed her and that’s when she stopped caring what Sonny thought and she stopped caring how Sonny felt and she asked him for a divorce.

Cody says he’d better get the lady of the manor mounted (excuse me?), and Sasha asks if Tracy knows she can’t fire him. He says, sure, but it doesn’t stop her from trying. Speaking of employment, this would be a great time for Sasha to fill out those applications for all those jobs she doesn’t want. Do it. He leaves, and she says, or she could straighten up the tack room. She walks out, leaving her phone on the table, when Brook calls.

Gregory tells Lois that he hasn’t settled on a final draft of what he’s going to say. He’s been writing for weeks. She says she totally sympathizes. She knows he wants it all to be perfect. She’s just saying, when he knows what it is he’s going to be saying, would he mind sending her a copy? She needs to time out the ceremony so she can let the kitchen at the MetroCourt know when to start firing up the food. He says he hadn’t realized… and she says, it’s crucial. It’s totally crucial. You have to have the food come out to the table when it’s hot, not when it’s overdone. And definitely not when it’s been heated under those heating lamps. Those contraptions need to be outlawed. Her phone rings, and she says, excuse her for one second. She picks up her phone and says, oh, it’s Brook. She answers and says she’s sitting here with Brook’s future father-in-law. Brook says she needs Lois to do something for her. It’s an emergency. Lois asks Gregory to excuse her for one moment, and leaves the room. Gregory now looks startled and confused.

Lois runs into the stable and tells Sasha that Brook has been trying to reach her. Sasha says she’s sorry and picks up her phone. Lois says, there is a Deception disaster. Lucy is crashing and burning on Home & Heart. Sasha says, Lucy? and Lois says, she decided to do the spot herself, which is a complete disaster. She doesn’t watch H&H herself, but her ma does, and you know who else watches it? All of her ma’s friends, and they all know that Deception is Brook’s company. So Lucy’s failure is Deception’s failure is Brook’s failure, and they can’t let that happen. So come on. Lois needs her to go. Sasha says she’ll have to change, but Lois says, there’s no time. She snagged the fastest ride in the garage. Can Sasha drive a stick? It doesn’t matter. She can drive one. Let’s go. She grabs Sasha’s hand and drags her out the door.

Lucy says, what she remembers in particular about that year is all the obstacles she had to overcome. She had to get all these good people together for such a good cause and raise so much money for those very good people. Haven says, just like their viewers at home, and Scotty says, hello, viewers, and suggests they tell the viewers how this face cream can take a mug like this and turn it into a matinee idol. Lucy says she’s so delighted to see him and have him here with them, but it’s kind of rude to interrupt. Where was she? Oh, right. There was a ball for nurses and the year was 2014… Haven says, yes, and her dear, dear friend Scott showed up right at the end and kissed her… in her underwear… again. Lucy thanks her and says, it’s so kind of Haven to remember that. Haven says she never forgets a Nurses Ball. Isn’t Lucy unforgettable? Doesn’t she look great? And you know what? You can look great too. She holds up the cream.

Nina says she’s so sorry to keep Ava waiting, but Ava says, it’s no problem. She had some business to take care of anyway. Nina kisses her on the cheek, and Ava says, what about her? Did she have a hotel emergency? Nina says, Ava knows how it is. One guest’s crisis is a hotelier’s whole day. Ava says she’s not familiar with that expression, and Nina says she hopes it never becomes one. Madison comes in and gives Nina a list of things she needs to deal with, and Nina thanks her. Madison leaves, and Ava says, Nina’s assistant is very diligent. In the fifteen minutes she was waiting, Madison must have come in and out of here three times. Nina says she thinks she was checking up on Ava, and Ava agrees. Nina says, she might be overcompensating, and Ava says, for what? Nina says she’s had a few unexpected visitors lately. Drew has gotten in the habit of just barging in unannounced whenever he wants to. He feels like he’s entitled to everything and has to wait for nothing, and when it comes to her… Ava says, the woman who sent him to prison where he almost died, and Nina thanks her for sharing that. Ava says she thinks somebody had to, and Nina says, which brings her to why she wanted to see Ava. Ava says, and here she thought Nina just missed her, and Nina says, of course (🍷) she does. She needs a progress report on her reconciliation with Sonny.

Carly tells Jason that Sonny did offer her a huge settlement, but all she wanted was the house. She thought she could take care of herself with her half of the hotel. He says, Diane told him how she lost it, and she says, her big investment with Aurora. She didn’t know it at the time, but it was 100% insider trading, but the only reason the SEC even paid attention was because Nina turned her and Drew in. He says, Diane told him that too, and she asks if Diane also told him that she could have saved herself and Drew by flipping on Sonny. He says, no, and she says, there wasn’t a formal offer, but Diane thinks the Feds would have made a deal because she had evidence against Sonny. He asks, what kind of evidence? and she says, proof that Sonny violated the National Security Act. He says, how did she get that? and she says, Michael.

John asks if he’s the bad guy here, but Anna tells him that she never said he was. He says, she just insinuated that he had it coming because he was in the vicinity of Sonny’s coffee warehouse, but she says she’s just suggesting the possibility that Sonny’s guards handled him because he violated their security perimeter. He says he didn’t violate anything; he was a block away. He was jumped by professionals. She says, he most likely was, and he says, if she agrees with him, why did she just… She says, a crime has been committed and she’s just trying to rule out possibilities. It’s part of a process called police work. He says, oh really? Could she spell that out for him? She says she’ll text him. Does he want some water? He says, yes, and she pours some for him. She asks what he was doing skulking around Sonny’s warehouse, and he says he was tailing Jason Morgan’s lawyer, Diane Miller. Does Anna think she’s clean? Anna says she doesn’t know. How many lawyers are clean? He says, touché, and she tells him, that being said, while most of her clients are disreputable, the woman herself is quite a professional. She’s a paragon of ethics, or at least skilled enough to make it appear so. He says, then what was she doing heading to Corinthos Coffee at that dangerous time of the night? and Anna says, Jason is part owner of the coffee company. He says, which makes it all the more likely an alliance is brewing between Jason and Sonny Corinthos.

Carly tells Jason, Michael and Josslyn were devastated over everything that happened with Sonny and Nina. Michael decided they were all better off if Sonny was in prison, and Jason knows Michael. He’s like Jason. When he sets his mind on something, he just doesn’t stop. Jason asks how Michael got evidence against Sonny, and she says, he hired a professional, and ex-soldier named Dex Heller. And Dex was able to record Sonny getting illegal weapons from a company called Pikeman. Dex gave Michael the footage and Michael gave it to her. He asks what she did with it, and she says she destroyed it. By then, Michael’s feelings toward his father had changed and Michael realized Sonny going to prison would tear the whole family apart. So they came up with a new plan. She and Michael were paying Dex to keep an eye on Sonny and report back to them if Sonny found himself in any kind of trouble. He says, so she was paying this guy to spy on Sonny, and she says, it was for his own good. He says he doesn’t think Sonny would see it that way, and she says, he did not when he found out.

Tracy comes into the solarium and says she didn’t know Gregory was here. He says he was talking to Lois. She excused herself and said she’d be back in a moment, but that was a while ago. Tracy says, she operates in a different time zone. Why was he talking to Lois anyway? He says, happenstance. He actually stopped by to talk to Brook. She says, in the afternoon? She’s working. He says he supposes when you have your afternoons free, you forget other people don’t. Anyway, it’s not urgent. He can call her later. She says, or he can give her the message and she’ll pass it along, and he says, very well. He just wanted to let Brook know that he won’t be bringing a plus one after all. She asks, what happened to Alexis? and he says, something came up. She had to cancel. She says she doesn’t think it’s much of a tragedy. Alexis and weddings don’t mix. Of course (🍷) she’s prejudiced ever since Alexis went runaway bride and left Ned at the altar. He says, if she doesn’t like Alexis, isn’t that a good thing that Alexis didn’t marry her son? She says, it’s not that she didn’t marry Ned. It’s how she didn’t marry Ned. But she had her reasons then and Tracy supposes she has her reasons now. He says, as a matter of fact, she does. He shouldn’t say anything. Tracy says, then he must, and he says, she has to promise not to… She says she won’t say a word, and he says, Alexis has to appear in Manhattan the morning after the wedding. She’s hoping to get her disbarment overturned. Tracy says, good for her, and he asks if she means that. She laughs and says she’s sure some part of her must, and he says, anyway, that’s why she can’t make the wedding, which means that he’ll be going stag.

Ava says, a progress report, huh? Should that be single or double spaced? Nina says, sorry, and Ava says, maybe she could email it to Nina. Her assistant can flag it in her inbox. Nina says, all right. She apologizes. Ava isn’t her assistant and doesn’t need to report to her, but she did say she would act as her advocate. Ava says, and she is, and Nina asks how things stand. Does Sonny miss her? Ava says, of course (🍷) Sonny misses her, and Nina asks if he said that. Ava says, he doesn’t have to. Whenever Nina’s name comes up, his mood gets dark, and he might fix himself a drink. Nina says, Sonny’s drinking again? and Ava says, not to excess. It’s just gone back to him fixing a scotch or two in the evenings. Nina says she feels so bad for him. He’s been so volatile. Ava says she doesn’t recommend lecturing him on the subject, and Nina says she didn’t mean to interrupt. Ava said Sonny doesn’t like hearing her name. Ava says, he asked her not to mention Nina at all unless it’s absolutely necessary. That proves he misses her, right? She’s still under his skin. That’s obvious. It’s progress. She’s sure of it. Nina says, Ava is a lot more sure than she is.

Lois brings Sasha to Home & Heart, and asks Brook and Maxie, how hard did the iceberg hit and is the ship still afloat? Brook says, see for herself, and they walk closer to the set. Lucy says she really thinks all her years as president and CEO of Coco Cosmetics… Haven asks if they can get a camera on the product, and Lucy says, it made her really be the driving, creative force that made Deception. Lois tells Sasha that she needs to get in there, and Brook says, it’s trending like crazy. Lois says, in a good way? and Brook says, Haven, yes. Scott, yes. Deception, meh. Lucy, you don’t want to know. Maxie says, sales are still really low, and Sasha undoes her ponytail and says she’s on it. Haven asks how Lucy would describe the cream, and Lucy says, on their Deception website. That’s how. She bets the viewers don’t remember, she wrote not just one tell-all book, but two. They probably all purchased A Travel Guide to Port Charles, but who remembers Left for Dead? Sasha says she remembers Left for Dead, and Haven says, look who it is, viewers. Sasha Corbin, the former Face of Deception. Sasha waves at the camera, and Lucy says, now she’s really not the face of anything. By the way, what is she wearing? Sasha says, these are her work clothes now. She’s a stable hand and she loves it, but it’s a lot of hard work and it doesn’t really afford an opportunity to feel pretty. Haven says, this is her not pretty? Look at her. Isn’t she gorgeous? Sasha thanks her and says, that’s so sweet. She thanks Lucy and says she’s got it, but Lucy says, no, she doesn’t. She’s not quite done. Scotty says he thinks she’s got it, but Lucy says she’s not. She has so many more things to say. Scotty says he thinks Sasha could handle it, and Haven says, it’s always such an experience with Lucy. Scotty steers Lucy offstage, and Haven says, if she may ask, Sasha’s makeup… Sasha says she’s not really wearing any, and Haven says she hates her. Sasha says, it does make it a lot easier for her to show Haven, and the audience at home, what Deception’s Deceptor Nourishing Moisturizer can do. Haven says, take it away, honey.

Anna says, the last thing Sonny wants is anything to do with Jason, and John asks where she’s getting that information. She says, Sonny. He came here to her office, trying to persuade her to file charges against Jason. John says, for what? and Anna says, for whatever part he played in the attack on the docks. Sonny conveniently forgot, Jason’s the reason his son is alive. So John said these attackers of his were surprised. What happened? He says, the two guys who jumped him ran off when Carly Spencer pulled up in her car.

Ava says she doesn’t understand where this skepticism is coming from. Nina trusts her, doesn’t she? Nina says, of course (🍷) she trusts Ava. Ava is her best friend. It’s just that if Ava can’t even mention her name to Sonny, how does Ava know he’s even open to the idea of saving their relationship? Ava says, Nina is still his wife for one thing, but Nina says, only because she hasn’t signed a sheet of paper. Ava says, right. And is Sonny pressuring her? Nina knows how insistent he can be; how he hates loose ends. Is Sonny standing over her with a pen, demanding she sign the divorce papers? Nina says, no, and Ava says, exactly. This is going to take time and she knows it’s agonizing for Nina. Nina says, an understatement, and Ava says, Nina’s got to be patient. She can’t rush this. She has to wait for just the right moment, when Sonny realizes how much he wants Nina back, and then she strikes. Nina says, so what, if any, difference does Ava think it would make if she sells her half of the hotel to Jason Morgan? and Ava asks where this is coming from. Nina says she had a little visit from Diane Miller, and she proposed the sale, and Ava says she thought Nina liked owning the hotel. Nina says she does. It’s just that the novelty has worn off. Ava says, more fun running it as a prize she took from Carly than a day job, and Nina says, so does Ava think if she sold her half of the hotel to Sonny’s best friend, she’d win some points.

Carly tells Jason, it was crazy. Sonny was going to kill Dex, so she had to tell him everything. He was furious. And betrayed. He disowned Michael the same way he disowned the two of them. She’s a traitor. Jason’s a traitor. None of it matters. Nothing they’ve done, none of the sacrifices they made. They don’t count for anything? Jason says, they count with him. Everything Carly has been through, everything she’s done, Sonny might not be grateful, but he is. She hugs him.

Tracy tells Gregory not to worry about a thing. She’ll pass along to Brook that he’s no longer bringing a plus one. He says he hopes it doesn’t mess up the seating too badly. He knows how much care and planning… She says, stop. He’s the father of the groom. He’s officiating the wedding. He’ll take his rightful place at the family table next to her. He thanks her and says he’d like that very much.

Lucy asks Maxie, what is Sasha doing here? She’s not with the company anymore. She’s not even spokes-modeling anymore. Why, pray tell, is she dressed like an escapee from Mayberry? Maxie thanks her for stepping in until reinforcements got here, and Lucy says, don’t do that to her. Don’t handle her. Maxie says she’s not handling Lucy. She was put in an impossible situation and handled it the way only Lucy Coe would. Lucy says, thanks a lot. Since she put it that way. Her phone starts to ding, and she says she’s blowing up. This phone is blowing up. She’s blowing up!

Brook says, Lois is a superhero, and Lois says she knows. Brook says she doesn’t know what they would have done if she hadn’t gotten Sasha here, and Lois says she did, so they’ll never have to find out. It’s a really nice set-up they’ve got here. She’s used to concert lighting, which is fabulous of course (🍷), but this is elegant in its own way, like Brook.

Haven says, that’s all they have time for today. She thanks Sasha and says, it’s great having her back. Sasha thanks her and says, it was great being here. The producer says, and we’re out, and Haven tells Sasha that she saved the show. She just wants to say thank you. Sasha says, her friends needed her, and Haven says, they’re very lucky to have her. And if she may say so, for whatever it’s worth (🍷), she wishes she’d been kinder. Sasha asks if that’s an apology, and Haven says, her attorneys advised her not to apologize in case Sasha sues them, but yes. She apologizes and hopes Sasha will come back.

Brook says, socials look great. People have never loved Sasha more. Maxie says, Deception has had a roller coaster of a day. All time low to almost all time high. They didn’t sell out, but she thinks they will by the time they leave the building. Brook says, not a bad day, and Lois says, not bad at all, and hugs her.

Lucy tells Scotty that she’s actually trending. Her public has never loved her more.

Nina says she’ll admit to Ava, but not anyone else, that running the hotel is a lot more work than she wanted, and it’s not really work she enjoys. So she’s pretty sure Jason is going to buy the hotel and turn around and give it to Carly. At the very least, that will annoy Drew, and at the very best, humiliate him. Ava says, payback for firing her, and Nina says, among other things. If she can sell the hotel to Sonny’s best friend, it might earn her half a point with him. Ava says, Sonny and Jason were closer than brothers. From what she’s seen, Sonny would be deeply moved if Nina made a deal with him. Nina says, she thinks so, but Ava says she knows so.

John says he has no idea what Carly was doing there. He was too distracted by the beating to ask. Anna says, she was probably going to visit Jason, and John says, it seems like he hasn’t had any trouble settling back into his old life. She says she distinctly remembers him telling Jason to do exactly that, to stay in Port Charles and wait for Pikeman to take him out. There’s a term for that – bait. He says, she sounds disapproving, but she says, it’s just a reminder of why Jason originally came back to town. It was as half of a sniper team, and his partner had a handgun that fired armor piercing rounds. So Jason knows firsthand what Pikeman is capable of. Every day he’s walking the streets, knowing they’re coming for him, and when they do, it’s going to be a hell of a lot worse than being jumped by a couple of thugs. So she’s just saying, why doesn’t he back off and give the man a little credit?

Jason says he doesn’t know what’s wrong with Sonny, but Carly says, maybe nothing’s wrong with Sonny. Maybe this is who he really is. Sonny doesn’t give a damn about anybody else. Why should they give a damn about him? Don’t tell her it’s because of the kids. She’s not going to set a bad example for Donna by letting Sonny walk all over her. He says, good, and she says, he’s not going to ask her to forgive Sonny? but he says, it’s up to her. She asks if Jason is going to forgive him, and Jason says, for now, but it’s possible Sonny could push him too far. Considering how he’s treating Carly, he’s getting pretty close. She says she misses who Sonny used to be, and she misses how they all were together. She misses the Sonny she used to love and just wishes there was a way they could reach him. He says, they can’t force Sonny to trust them or accept their help. All they can do is live their lives right now and be there if he needs him. She says, or they could turn their backs on him and let him drown… Jason would never do that, and she wouldn’t do that either. He thanks her, and she says, sometimes she thinks about how it would have been so much better if she never would have loved Sonny and stayed in love with Jason. He says he likes them the way they are, and she says she does too.

Tomorrow, Maxie tells Felicia, if she lets him in again, how does she know nothing bad will happen; Brick asks if Jordan can come out and play; Gregory asks if there’s a problem; and Laura says, it’s not her call to make, but she does know whose call it is.

Below Deck

Barbie wails to her mom that she ruined the day for everyone, and her mom says she understands, but Barbie needs to change her attitude. She’s not a quitter. She’s a good employee who does her job. Fraser tells Max that he’s done, and Max says, Barbie is in the bathroom crying on the phone. Xandi says, God bless, which I assume is a variation of bless your heart. In her interview, Xandi says, there’s been a lot of drama and Barbie had her hand in most of it since she got on the boat. We flash back to some of that, and Xandi says, if she doesn’t want to be here, no one is forcing her. Barbie whines to Kyle that she’s not herself anymore, and he tells her to stop being someone she’s not. Barbie says she’s a bad bitch and never quit in her life.

The crew gets ready for dinner and Ben gets handsy with Paris. In Sunny’s interview, she says she feels like she’s been dating Ben since their first crew night out. He’s playing into temptation and it’s disrespectful to her. It’s not cool and he just looks like an a-hole. She tells Dylan, it’s disgusting behavior, and there isn’t even tequila (yet). They sit down for dinner, and Anthony raises his glass to the family, to the crew. Barbie says she apologizes for the sh*t that was going on today. There’s been a lot of drama with her and Fraser, and they have to figure it out. She’s sorry it affected everyone. Xandi says, that’s the worst toast ever, and in Ben’s interview, he says, it should have been a private conversation. In Kyle’s interview, he thinks it’s passive/aggressive, and in Paris’s interview, she says, this is a sh*t show. Ben asks for Paris’s IG and Sunny switches seats to get away from Ben. In Ben’s interview, he says he has no idea what’s going on. Why is he in a situation like this again? Maybe he’s really stupid and some kind of yacht savant. Fraser tells Xandi, tomorrow they’re going to be three stews again. Sunny talks to Ben on the side, and he says he wants to spend more time with her, but she says she feels disrespected in many ways. When someone else touches someone’s waist and ass in front of her and everyone, it’s not okay. Ben asks what she wants. What are they? She says, it doesn’t have to be titled for him to respect the fact they’re sleeping together. He says he likes her, and she asks if they’re an item. He says, they’re not dating, but becoming an item. I have no idea what that means, and Sunny asks if he’s saying their like for each other is going down the drain and they’re just sleeping together, and Ben says, maybe by the end of the season they’ll be dating. For reasons I can’t fathom, Sunny says she can live with that, but in her interview, she says, the conversation was so full of sh*t. Ben was all over Paris, and she’s not the only one seeing it. They get back to the boat and head straight to bed. Fraser says, 10 o’clock. Are we this fun? Good for us, actually. In Sunny’s interview, she says she doesn’t want to get hurt, and in Paris’s interview, she says, flirting usually goes over her head and she doesn’t want to be that girl. She keeps forgetting boys just want to f*** 24/7. Barbie says she’s totally getting fired.

The next morning, Fraser meets the captain on the bridge. In Fraser’s interview, he says he’s been honest with the captain and wants to continue that. He tells Captain Kerry that his gut feeling is that Barbie needs to be gone. She’s causing that much aggravation for the team. She lacks respect and has done everything to undermine his authority. Her behavior is past its sell-by date. Insubordination is a fire-able offense.

Fraser tells Captain Kerry that Barbie made a speech at the table yesterday, airing their dirty laundry, and the captain says, they’ll need to find someone first. They’re mixing business with personal issues, and for Barbie to bring it up on their day off, he took it as being insulting. Fraser took it personally, but he has to separate that from business. Three days ago, Fraser said she was doing a good job, now she’s impossible to work with. Being chief stew isn’t just about hiring and firing. Fraser says, what the captain sees isn’t what they’re getting, but Captain Kerry says, strength is not always acting on the power we have. Fraser says, good point (it is!), and the captain tells him to have a talk with Barbie. Try his best to remove the emotions. In the captain’s interview, he says he gets the feeling that Fraser is pushing his own agenda. That’s the problem with a leadership role when you let emotions take over. He can help Fraser to be a good stew, but he’s got to let go of the emotions. Paris tells Xandi that she loves being in laundry. She feels like she’s ironing out the issues in her life. In Xandi’s interview, she says, Paris is living proof prayers work. She’s an actual stew and she’s funny. Sunny tells Ben that she’s confused by their conversation. She’s not asking for a ring, but she’s not open to f***ing around with other people. Ben says, they’re on the same page (highly doubtful), and she says, if they are, it sets the tone better. Captain Kerry calls Barbie to meet near the aft deck and tells the crew that he’s heading off the boat. Paris says, if pillows could talk, and Fraser says he doesn’t want to know. I’m in total agreement.

The captain sits with Barbie at a picnic table, and he says, she and Fraser have a personality conflict, like nobody knew. Barbie says, it’s an honor to work under Fraser, but they clash. She’s never had a chief stew and was always a solo stew, so that’s another struggle. Captain Kerry says, it’s the emotions. Fraser respects her work. She can’t fix what he does, but she can fix the way she sees things. Explain that she’s struggling and doing her best. If that doesn’t work, talk to him. She says she thinks she and Fraser have to sit down and talk. Fraser tells Xandi that the captain doesn’t want to get rid of Barbie, and Captain Kerry asks Fraser for a talk. Lots of talking and talking about talk going on. They sit at the picnic table, and the captain says, Barbie wants to stay and do a great job. She respects Fraser, but understands her delivery is not great. Listen to what she says, and process before he responds. Fraser sits with Barbie, and she says she’s sad that yesterday ended the way it did. She actually admires him and knows she’s been a nightmare. Fraser says, they had harmony after Cat left. Barbie is the person he needed and needs. He wants her to be there. If she puts the effort in, he thinks there’s good stuff ahead. Barbie suggests they start over. Don’t fire her. He says he’ll try not to. Ben tells Kyle that he needs someone he can trust to be his eyes ears when he’s not here. Dylan is knowledgeable, but doesn’t know the boat well. Sunny doesn’t have as much experience, but she wants to improve and has initiative. However, if he makes Sunny lead deckhand, the crew is going to think it’s because they’re sleeping together. In his interview, Ben says he’s going to make either Dylan or Sunny will be pissed. He’s between a rock and a hard place again. This guy is so full of sh*t.

It’s time for the preference sheet meeting. The primary is Carmen who owns a PR management company in Washington DC that caters to athletes. She and her husband Ray wish to be called Queen and King while on the yacht. Carmen dislikes pork and guest Tiphanie is not a fan of seafood. Anthony reads that they want a beach picnic and a movie premiere night where they walk the red carpet. Ugh. This screams nouveau riche. The only red carpet I’d want to walk would be an actual red carpet that I was entitled to walk, not some made up nonsense. They read that guest Brandon is not allergic to anything. Just gay and picky. Fraser calls him a loser. Captain Kerry predicts they’ll be high maintenance, so make sure their departments are impeccable. In Anthony’s interview, he says he feels like he’s constantly failing. We flash back to Anthony floundering and being disorganized, and he says, it’s hard to come back when he feels not good enough.

The boat is readied, and provisions come in. Ben tells Captain Kerry that he’s ready to appoint a lead deckhand. He based his choice on character and knowledge of the boat. He’s appointing Sunny. The captain says, excellent. He’s very happy and agrees she’s the right person. She’s already doing it. In Ben’s interview, he says he and Sunny are good at separating work and pleasure, and he thinks the job comes first. Captain Kerry tells him to be kind with Dylan and give him a moment to process. Paris makes towel swans, and in her interview, she says she used to make turkeys. People are weird. Maybe they like bestiality in the bedroom. Yacht service calls Captain Kerry and says, guest Brandon missed his flight and will arrive at 3. He says, give him a yell when Brandon gets there, and they’ll meet him at the closest dock. Ben tells the deckhands that he’s decided to give one of them more responsibility. We flash back to Ben being dubbed lead deckhand with the golden deck brush, and he says he’s going to continue the tradition. The next lead deckhand is Sunny. In Sunny’s interview, she says, wow. It’s gratifying to know she’s doing a good job. She pats her own shoulder and says, kudos. Ben dubs her with the golden brush and in Dylan’s interview, he says he thought it was a joke, but it’s not April 1^st. He realized Ben is serious and doesn’t want to be an a-hole. He doesn’t want to say it right on deck, because everyone is going to think he’s a d*ck. He has a d*ck, but he’s not being a d*ck. In Sunny’s interview, she says she doesn’t want people to think she slept with her boss. I think it’s kind of too late for that.

The guests arrive and the primaries receive crowns. In Fraser’s interview, he says, calling them king and queen is kind of an insult to the monarchy. But the monarchy isn’t paying him, so he’ll do it. He gives them the tour, and in his interview, Dylan says he’s going to do his best regardless of the situation with Sunny. Sunny asks him advice. How is she supposed to lead when she’s asking the lower deckhands for advice? Does he need to have sex with the bosun? If he had a vagina, he wouldn’t be in this situation, and it bothers him. This guy is a d*ck. He also just got here, so why would he be given the promotion?

Dylan congratulates Sunny, no doubt while gritting his teeth, and the yacht pulls out of the slip. Primary Ray says, land, hoe, which is actually kind of funny. Another guest says, when the drinks start flowing, we start hoeing. The yacht anchors, and Anthony tells Fraser that lunch is going to be Mexican. Ben rubs Sunny’s neck as Dylan watches, his blood boiling. Captain Kerry gets a message for guest Brandon to be picked up, and Kyle tells Ben that Dylan isn’t happy. Ben says he’s giving Dylan space, and Kyle says he thinks Ben made the right decision. Lunch is served, but it’s mahi-mahi, and guest Tiphanie doesn’t eat fish. In his interview, Anthony says, f***, and makes her a Ceasar salad. In Captain Kerry’s interview, he wonders how many times he told Anthony to look at the preference sheets and make sure he doesn’t do what he did last time. If Anthony keeps f***ing up, he’ll have to make a change.

Halifax Harbour. Barbie and Ben pick up Brandon, while the other guests ride around on the jet skis. Brandon arrives and one of the guests says, the party has arrived. Fraser mumbles, he seems insufferable, and in his interview, he says, Barbie says she wants to turn over a new leaf and be better. He’s going to put her on housekeeping. He wants her to be well-rounded and wants to see Paris on service. He should be able to count on his stews to do anything. The primaries are getting busy and leave the cabin blinds open. I’m not sure how they’re watching without being seen, but the deckhands watch them going at it. In Sunny’s interview, she wonders if they’re into voyeurism. Why keep the blinds open? The guests get ready for dinner, and Dylan whines to Barbie that he’s had two years commercial experience, and she tells him, be a man about it. In Barbie’s interview, she says, Sunny is her girl, but personally, she’s Team Dylan. She’s in a weirder position being second stew when Xandi is second stew. So she’s more on Dylan’s side because she feels Dylan’s pain. Tuna ceviche is served, with Tiphanie getting mac and cheese, the others coveting her dish. Fraser tells Paris, these guests like Burger King and McDonald’s. They’re not going to like ceviche. In his interview, Fraser says, Anthony’s food is brilliant. Anthony’s got it, but he doesn’t know if Anthony can pull it out at this stage. He tells Anthony that the guests have no adventure. The next course is basically fancy chicken salad, which you’d think they’d like, but guest Clifton says, this is bullsh*t.  Dylan tells Paris that he’s pissed and feels like he got a slap in the face. She tells him to hug the banana downstairs. I assume she means the floatie, but it’s unclear. Dylan pretty much tells anyone who will listen how Ben did him dirty. Brandon and Ray start to argue, and from what I can grasp it’s about Brandon inviting Ray to a drag show without preparing him in advance that it was a gay thing. Apparently, Ray needs a heads up about what he’s walking into. Was it a mine field drag show? In Fraser’s interview, he says, Brandon is upset because… He doesn’t know and doesn’t care. In Barbie’s interview, she says she lives for guest drama, but this is dark, and in Paris’s interview, she says, this is comedy gold. Carmen says, bon appetitty, and I’m thinking maybe this group should have gone to that place in Florida where the circus people live or something.  

Brandon leaves the table, and loudly explains why Ray is wrong to a couple of guests who follow him. Anthony says, this is the probably the worst tasting of his life, and at the table, Ray says he’s got to feel safe. Xandi tells Fraser that Barbie has a different mindset, and Fraser says that’s what he wants from her. He thanks Xandi for her coaching and they high-five. Paris tells Ben that Dylan thinks he gave Sunny lead deckhand because they’re banging. He’s got his panties 100% wrapped around his ball sack. In Ben’s interview, he says, if Dylan is upset, Dylan should talk to him. It’s not okay for him to talk to the crew. We flash back to Ben doing the exact same thing on several occasions, and he says he feels dumber when he’s around Dylan and it’s pissing him the f*** off. Fraser and Kyle hug, and Barbie tells Kyle to stop hugging her man.

Meanwhile, Tiphanie tells Brandon it’s good to get a different perspective, and Brandon says, it’s not a different perspective. Ben tells Dylan that it wasn’t cool of him to gripe to the crew, and they’ll chat tomorrow. In Dylan’s interview, he says, for f***’s sake. Ben is offended that he’s offended by Ben’s sh*t decision. He guesses he can’t tell anyone anything. Hmm… Maybe he’s just really stupid, since what Ben is not offended by, but annoyed by, is him talking to the crew instead of putting on his big boy pants and talking to Ben. Brandon continues his tirade in the hallway, and Tiphanie says, the only way to change is to inform and educate. Paris tells Fraser, lava cake is a great Band-Aid and will help everyone. Agreed. In his interview, Fraser says he’s beyond ready for this sh*tshow to be over. The chef doesn’t know where he is or where anything is. He thinks Anthony realizes it’s too much. It seems as though he’s giving up. Anthony digs around for a scooper and says, it’s really not good. Brandon goes back to the table and Ray says he understands where Brandon is coming from. Fraser says, something needs to change or they won’t make it until the end of the trip. Paris says, they need dessert, and Fraser says, he needs Anthony to focus, and Anthony says, it’s a hot mess.

Next time, Ben talks to Dylan; primary Carmen wants to know why there’s only regular bacon; and Captain Kerry has a talk with Anthony.

💭 I just remembered, Anthony is dyslexic and never told anyone. At least as far as we’ve seen. I would never blame anyone for any condition they have, but if he keeps it a secret when it’s causing a problem, that’s on him. The captain and crew would totally work with him. It’s actually very sad, since he’s such a nice guy and not moody, which isn’t always the case with the chefs.

🪢 At the End Of My Silly String…

Come back if you dare tomorrow for soap and VanderFolly. Until then, stay safe, stay not taking up the entire sidewalk if you’re with a group, and stay remembering, in a crisis, lava cake is a great Band-Aid and will help everyone.