(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
We see something blinking under one of the limos.
Carly tells the driver, step on it. They can’t wait to celebrate with their family and friends.
A button is pressed and an explosion happens. The chapel doors are blown open.
Chase goes to the Quartermaine mansion, and Brook lets him in while holding the baby. He says he figured she would have been at the wedding, but she says, no. She was invited, but she was closer with Sonny, and decided not to go at the last second. He says a quiet night at home with her daughter doesn’t sound so bad, and she says he must be a detective. She and Bailey hardly get any time together because of all the craziness that goes on in this house. He says he knows what she means. He’s missed Bailey since he moved out. He’s missed… a lot.
At the reception, Bobbie tells Maxie, this is magical, and Monica says she did an amazing job. Maxie thanks them, and Olivia says she’s never seen the garden look more beautiful. Carly is going to love this. Bobbie says, even Jason might, and they laugh. Ned says they might be joking, but Jason was practically gregarious today. Well, gregarious for Jason. Monica says she thinks he’s genuinely happy with Carly, and that’s all she wants for him.
Carly says, Buscema and Novak? and Jason says, it was intended for them. Spinelli and Brick had it redirected. She says, he knew about this? and he says he got a heads up… from a friend.
Spinelli is putting his phone in his pocket, and Diane asks if it was Carly and Jason. What is keeping them? Are they already in jail? He says, no, but recent developments might cause the groom to avail himself of her services. She throws up her hands, and asks if this consultation will take place at the PCPD, and he says, quite possibly. Brando comes by and asks if everything is okay. Spinelli says, there was just an explosion outside of All Saints. A car bomb. Brando asks if it was Carly and Jason’s car, and Diane looks aghast.
Sonny tells Nina, he can’t do this right now. He’s got to go home to his wife and kids. He gets off the examining table, and she says she can’t stop him, but if he leaves there, leave knowing nothing else but she honestly loves him. He says, don’t say that, but she says, it’s true; she loves him. He puts his finger in her face, and says, don’t say that, backing her up against the door. He says she doesn’t love him; she loves Mike. She says he was happy in Nixon Falls, and he says he’s going home to his wife. Does she understand him? He’s not doing this right now. She tells him, the doctors said he can’t leave, but he says, try and stop him. She moves away from the door, crying, and he walks out.
Sonny rips his wristband off and throws it away. Jax says, Sonny? and Sonny says, yeah. Jax tells him, welcome back, but Sonny says Jax doesn’t look happy to see him. Jax says, actually, he is. Can he give Sonny a ride home? Sonny says he’ll actually take one from Jax. Jax says there’s a car waiting outside that can take Sonny to the tarmac, where he can fly home. Sonny thanks him, and Jax says, for what it’s worth (🍷) he’s sorry about what happened to Sonny. Sonny says, he’s not the only one, and walks out.
Jax goes in to find Nina lying on the examining table. He says, Sonny’s on his way home, and she sits up and says, what have I done?
In the limo, Mrs. Woo tells Jason and Carly that she has to make this quick; the fire department’s on its way. Carly says the cops too, she’s sure, and Jason thanks Woo for letting them know what Buscema and Novak were planning. She says, Cyrus Renault was pulling the strings. They tried to rope her in, and she pretended to go along, but she wants no part of Renault’s machinations. Carly says she supported the Corinthos organization after Sonny died. They appreciate her loyalty. Jason says, it won’t go unrewarded, and Woo says, she prefers working with people who aren’t sloppy or reckless. Congratulations on their marriage. Now go dance at their reception. Celebrate the love they have for one another. She hops out of the limo, and walks off. Carly says Jason could have told her, and he says, he wanted her to enjoy the wedding. Besides he knew Brick and Spinelli had it handled. She asks what they do now, and he says, go to the reception. She asks if she heard right, that he wants to go to their wedding reception. What if the cops show up and bring him in for questioning? He says, then he should be where he’s supposed to be, and she says, so it’s an alibi? He says, no. It’s a party for their friends and family to celebrate their wedding. Besides, Maxie said there would be music, and one of them likes to dance.
Spinelli says, Jason and Carly are fine, and Brando asks, whose car blew up? Spinelli says, perhaps the limo of Mr. Novak and Mr. Buscemi, and Diane says, what a coincidence that they meet their demise just after the wedding of their chief rival. Brando asks how it happened? and Spinelli thinks it might have something to do with Cyrus Renault. Diane says, thank goodness Brando’s mother wasn’t in the same car as her date.
Olivia tells Austin, now that they’re outside the house of the Lord, she can tell him exactly what she thinks about his nasty little insinuation about her son. He says, there’s no need. She’s already communicated her opinions perfectly. She says, communicate. That’s the word he throws around so much. Her husband told her that he doesn’t like the way her son communicates. He says, there’s nothing wrong with Leo. He just picked up on something when Leo sought him out at the hospital. She says, that never should have happened in the first place, when Ned joins them. Austin says he thinks this needs to be worked out between the two of them, and leaves.
Cameron finds Josslyn, Trina, and Bobbie laughing, and asks, what’s so funny? Bobbie says, Olivia hired a stripper for Carly’s bachelorette party… Josslyn says, and it ended up being Brando Corbin. Her mom was covering her eyes. Like she’s never seen something like that before. Cameron asks where she’s seen something like that before.
Maxie asks if Spinelli is ready for his MC role, unless Diane wants to do it. Diane says Maxie is cute, but she confines her public speaking these days to the corporate. Besides, she’s sure Spinelli will find the right words. Maxie says, just not too many words, and Spinelli says he shall endeavor for brevity worthy of the groom himself. Maxie says, speaking of the groom, if he talked Carly into ditching this, she’ll never forgive him. Spinelli says she seems so much like her old self before… She says, before Peter’s betrayal? He says, planning the wedding was probably a welcome distraction, and she says she enjoyed it, but she’ll enjoy it even more if the bride and groom show up.
Brook asks if Chase is there for his Bailey fix, and he says, that, and to give Monica this – he puts a gift bag on the table – to thank her for her hospitality. She says he wasn’t exactly a difficult houseguest. Is he feeling any better? He says, almost 100%, but he thinks holding Bailey will help. She hands him Bailey, and he asks if Bailey remembers him. Bailey starts crying, but is obviously not, since she has a binky in her mouth and looks pretty content. (Sloppy, GH!) He says he remembers her. She used to look more like her mama, but not so much anymore. As a matter-of-fact, she doesn’t look like her dad either.
Jax asks how Nina is doing, and she says she’s all right. How’s Phyllis? He says, she’s with the doctor; she’ll be okay. Nina says, thank God, when Anna and Valentin come in. Anna says they went to the Tan-O to find her, but it was destroyed. Valentin says, the fire chief said he could find her there. Is she all right? Is she hurt? She says she’s fine. What’s he doing here? He says, she called him, and said he lived at the MetroCourt, when she knows full well he lives at the Quartermaines. He took it as a sign. She was trying to give him a signal; was he right? He asks if the fire had anything to do with her call, and she says he was always too smart. Peter was with her, forcing her to call him.
Nina tells Valentin, Peter set fire to the Tan-O when she woudn’t help him find Louise. He tried to kill her and her friend Phyllis. Anna asks how Peter found her, and Nina says, he was keeping tabs on Maxie, and she came to visit in Nixon Falls on her way back from Texas. Anna asks if Nina didn’t try to contact the police. She knew they were looking for him, right? Nina says, he had a gun and threatened her, and Valentin asks if he was with her the entire time. She says, no, but he warned her if she tried anything, he’d kidnap James. They both know he’s evil enough to do that, so she called Obrecht, who was going to handle it, but something happened. Something went wrong. Has he heard from Obrecht? Anna says they’re not sure what happened either. Did Nina have another opportunity when she could have alerted them or the police? Nina says she was in a tight spot. He was blackmailing her. Valentin says, blackmailing her with what?
Chase says when Bailey smiles, he can see Brook. Or is it Valentin? What does she think? She says she thinks Bailey is her own little person. He says, she has a mind of her own, like her mama. She says she heard he went camping, and he says, it was actually kind of fun. She says she’ll take his word on that; she’s not into the nature thing. He says, she’s not? and she says she’s a fan of Central Park, her great-grandmother’s rose garden, and anywhere with chaises, cabanas, and cocktails. He says she doesn’t know what she’s missing. Roughing it is one of life’s great joys. She says she’ll take his word on that. She asks if he’s back at the PCPD, and he says, soon. After he gets some personal things in order. She asks if he’s moving forward with the divorce from Willow, but he says he’s seeking an annulment, since they never had a marriage in the first place. She says she’s sorry, but he says, don’t be. He wouldn’t trade that time for anything.
Willow says Michael doesn’t have his speech memorized yet? He’s been practicing it for days. He says he wants to make sure it’s right, and she says, he’ll be great. He truly is the best best man. They kiss.
Brando says he thinks Vincent Novak stood Gladys up, and she says, why? Could his business really be taking him that long? Is it her? She’s sure she couldn’t have been misreading the signals. He says maybe she should make up her mind that Mr. Novak isn’t coming. That his business was all consuming.
Austin says he thought Maxie could use a drink, and hands her one. She says, what she could use is a bride and groom. He says, don’t look at him; he didn’t kidnap them. She asks if he thinks this is funny, and he says, not anymore. She says, because this is definitely not funny. Jason isn’t known for his social flair. She wouldn’t be surprised if he convinced Carly that they didn’t need a wedding reception; a reception she planned down to the very last meticulous detail.
Spinelli asks for everyone’s attention, and asks them to raise their glasses as he presents Carly and Jason Morgan. They all applaud, and Carly and Jason walk in. Music plays, and they dance. She says, it’s no Jake’s, but it’ll do. They look at each other with little hearts popping out of their eyes.
Valentin asks what Peter was blackmailing Nina with. What does he have on her? Jax says, that’s not important right now. What matters is that Peter’s on the loose. Anna asks if Nina can tell her everything she remembers about the last time she saw Peter, and Nina says, he tied her and her friend Phyllis up, and poured kerosene all over the Tan-O. he dropped a lit match, and he left. Valentin asks if he told her where he was going, and Nina says, he didn’t, but she told him that they were probably on their way. She thinks he’s probably headed back to Port Charles… and Maxie. They’ve got to stop him before he gets to Maxie.
Brook asks if Chase just said he was glad he married Willow, and he says, he was dying, fading fast, letting go, when he heard her voice telling him to hang on. He heard the love in her voice, and it gave him the strength to survive. She says, wow, and he says Willow loves him. Not in the way he wants to be loved by her, but the concern in her voice is real. That’s what brought him back, and he can never regret being with someone who brought him so much joy. Brook says he’s a much better person than she can ever hope to be, but he says he doesn’t know about that. He remembers what he was like when he found out Michael and Willow were sleeping together, and she says, bitter and angry?Almost gave Austin the keys to the Quartermaine kingdom? She’s over it. He says he’s not. Giving Monica that gift was just an excuse to stop by. The real reason he’s there is to say he’s sorry. To her and her family.
Michael gets everyone’s attention, and thanks them all for coming. Today has been a day of firsts. It’s the first time he’s seen his mom this happy in a long time, and the first time he realized two people he’s known and loved his whole life, love each other. He thanks Jason for being his mom’s best friend, and loving her the way she needs to be loved. He tells Carly that she’s the most amazing mom in the world, and he’s glad she’s found happiness. After everything they’ve been through, they’re finally being rewarded. He doesn’t know anybody who’s as strong and determined as Carly is, and who has as much love in their heart. He’s lucky to have Carly as a mother, and Jason is lucky to have her as his wife. They wouldn’t be here without them, and without each other. To family. Everybody toasts.
Anna tells Valentin, 9-1-1 got an anonymous tip about a fire across town from the Tan-O, and Valentin says, sending firefighters on a wild goose chase, delaying the response. She says, exactly. So now the police are looking for Peter based on Nina’s accusation. He doesn’t suppose they’re having any luck, and she says, no, but her contact at the WSB managed to get a fast trace on Peter’s 9-1-1 call, and it was pinged off a tower at the intersection of Highway 21 and Route 7. He says, okay. He’ll drive.
Brook picks up a glass, and says she would have gladly thrown this at Chase’s head when he picked up that document with the changes to her great-grandfather’s will. He asks why she didn’t, and she says as mad as she was that he betrayed her family, there was a part of her that understood how angry he was at being betrayed by Michael and Willow. He says, the first thing you learn in school is, two wrongs don’t make a right, and the second Austin asked him to look for papers, he should have shut Austin down. She wishes he had because Michael gave the document to Austin. He says she doesn’t agree, and she says, Michael insists transparency will be their friend; that the document is non-binding, and is just a list of things great-grandfather was just thinking about doing, and the judge will rule in their favor. He says, but she doesn’t buy that, and she’s not the type of person to sit back and hope for the best. She says she has a couple tricks up her sleeve, and he says, such as? She tells him, don’t get your knickers in a twist, detective. Nothing he can arrest her for.
Carly hugs Maxie and thanks her. She says, this place is so beautiful. She couldn’t ask for a better wedding reception. Maxie asks if she really loved it, and if the flowers were okay. Did she like the cake and love the music? Carly says, everything is perfect. Now she wants Maxie to have fun. Maxie is their guest, and Carly wants her to relax and enjoy herself. Carly leaves, and Austin tells Maxie that her worry was for nothing; everything turned out great. He hands her a drink, and says, cheers. Now go rest on her laurels. She says she’s not sure she knows how to do that.
Jason says Michael did good, and Willow says, Michael was incredibly nervous, but she told him that he’d be wonderful. Jason says, listen to Willow; she knows what she’s talking about. And don’t let her go.
Diane congratulates Jason, and says when Carly told her they were thinking about getting married, she knew it would work. They’re life partners in every best sense of the word. She wishes them every happiness. He thanks her, and she says, now, he and Mr. Spinelli have matters to discuss that she doesn’t want to hear, so she’s going to see if Cousin Brando wants to dance. She leaves, and Spinelli asks if Jason’s heard any news on the untimely demise of Mr. Novak and Mr. Buscema. Jason says, Brick called on their way over, and the police are on the scene. Spinelli has every confidence that they won’t find what was planted or who was responsible, but he figures they’ll want to question Jason anyway. Jason says, probably, and Spinelli hopes they don’t crash the reception, as it were. It would break Maxie’s heart.
Carly hugs Josslyn and Bobbie, who says she’s never seen a more beautiful bride. Or maid of honor. Josslyn says it’s great to see her this happy, and Carly says, it’s great to be this happy. Bobbie says, after all the years Carly and Jason have known each other, now they’re finally together. Ironic, isn’t it? Josslyn thinks it makes perfect sense. They’ve always been so close, like they could read each other’s minds. Carly says, you know what Jason’s thinking right now? Bobbie says, that he’ll be glad when it’s over? and Josslyn tells Carly to go rescue him.
Ned says, Michael gave a great speech, and Olivia tells him not to change the subject. He shouldn’t be talking about her son to that Quartermaine wannabe. He tells her, all Austin said is that it would be of benefit to Leo, and she says, they’re talking about a specialist. Obviously, the good doctor thinks there’s something very wrong with her son. He says, it wouldn’t hurt to have Leo checked out, when Spinelli asks for everyone’s attention again. Mrs. Morgan would like all the ladies to gather for the traditional throwing of the bouquet. Olivia starts to get up, and Ned says, no. She’s not going to try and catch the bouquet? Last time he checked, they were still married. She says sometimes she wonders why, and sits back down.
Austin asks if Maxie wants in on this bouquet thing, and she says, no way. She’s lucky she didn’t end up marrying Louise’s father. He says, Peter, and she says, yeah. Getting married isn’t on her agenda. Finding her daughter, and seeing Peter brought to justice are her top priorities. He says he supports her on that.
Brando encourages Gladys to catch the bouquet. Maybe the next guy she meets will be Mr. Right. She says, wrong. She’s done with men. If they’re not standing her up, they’re trying to kill her. Too bad Sasha is on bedrest. They could put her to the test, and see if she’s serious about him. Think she’d try for the bouquet? Spinelli asks if the women are ready, and counts to three. Carly throws it, and Willow catches it as Michael walks in. He says, nice catch, and she says, it practically landed in her hands. He says he thinks that means they have his mother’s approval of them deciding to make it official.
Monica tells Jason and Carly, no one is looking. Now’s the time for them to make their escape. Jason asks if she’s sure, and she asks if Jason is happy with Carly. He says he is, and she says, then that’s all that matters. All she wants is for him to be happy, so go. Go now, and start their life. They both hug Monica, and she tells them to get out of there.
Jax tells Nina that the doctor wants to keep her for observation, but she says, no. She has to warn Maxie about Peter. He says he already tried calling, but she didn’t pick up. Nina says, what if Peter has already gotten to her? They have to warn her.
Spinelli asks Maxie to dance, and she says, he remembered. They go onto the dance floor. Olivia asks if she can catch a ride home with Monica, and Monica says, she’s not going with Ned? She thought they were getting along pretty well. She thought… Olivia says, that they were getting back together? Not anymore. Cameron asks Josslyn to dance, and she says she thought he’d never ask. While they’re dancing, Willow tells Michael that she doesn’t believe catching the bouquet is symbolic of anything, and he says, but it proves his mom has really good aim. She wants him to know she’s not saying this because of any silly superstition. The first time they got married, it was to keep Wiley away from Nelle, but the next time she marries him – if they decide to get married again – she wants it to be real. Like this wedding.
Brook tells Chase, confession time, and they sit on the couch. He asks if he wants to know, and she says he does. She was actually glad when he went in with Austin, when he was mad at Michael and Willow. He asks who she is and what she’s done with BLQ, and she says, he was all out for revenge, and it showed he was human. He asks if she thought he was the god of tolerance and compassion, and she laughs, and says, he wishes. He showed he could get down in the mud with the rest of them. He says, thanks, he thinks, and she says, not that he’s any good at being a bad guy. That sneaking around business isn’t in his DNA. He says maybe she could give him some lessons, but she says, no way. She wants him to stay exactly the way he is.
Anna tells Valentin that a car abandoned on the side of the road was rented by Peter Sinclair, and Valentin says, it’s interesting he’s using his father’s pen name. She says, kind of sloppy though, leaving your car behind, and he asks, why it’s sloppy. He knew they were tailing him, and changed to another vehicle. She says, or he was being picked up. Maybe it was a rendezvous. Valentin wonders if they’re nearby, and they decide to go in opposite directions. He tells her to leave her phone on, and be careful. She tells him to be careful too, and he says, don’t worry about him. If he sees Peter, he’ll shoot him on sight.
Carly and Jason go back to her place and up to the bedroom, and she asks what he thought of the reception. He says he had fun, and she says she could tell. He says he really liked Michael’s speech, and she says, it was nice, but he went overboard with how amazing she is. He says that’s why he liked it, and she says, they did it. They’re married. They clink champagne glasses, and he asks how she feels. She says, like this is right, and he says, him too.
Sonny gets back home, and looks at himself in the mirror, admiring his scruffiness.
Austin cuts in on Spinelli’s dance, and Maxie says, it’s okay. She invited him; she should dance with him.
Brando brings Gladys some champagne, and suggest they toast to the new her. The one who doesn’t need a man to prove she’s worthy. They clink glasses, and she says he’s right. She’s better than Vincent Novak, and all those losers out there who think they can toy with her emotions.
Olivia sits with Ned, and says he’s been boring holes in her back all night. Go ahead. He says he knows it’s not his place to tell her how to raise her son, and she says, don’t let that stop him. He says he loves Leo as if Leo were his own son, so at the risk of driving them further apart, won’t she at least consider Austin’s advice, and have that beautiful boy that they both love, checked out?
Austin thanks Maxie for the dance, and for inviting her. This was fun. Her phone rings, and she tells Austin to grab them some cake. It’s from Eckerd’s, the best bakery in Port Charles. Nina says, thank God she picked up, and Maxie asks, what’s wrong? Nina says, it’s Peter. He was in Nixon Falls, and she thinks he’s headed back to Port Charles. He’s headed back to Maxie.
On the phone outside somewhere, Peter says he’s at the rendezvous. Where are they?… He doesn’t have ten minutes to wait. They said they’d get him out of there, now make it happen. Anna says, scheduling problem? and Peter turns around to see her with a gun aimed at him. She says she woudn’t worry. He’s not going anywhere.
Brook says she’ll make sure Monica gets her gift, and Chase thanks her for listening. She says, any conversation they have where it doesn’t end in him arresting her, she considers a win. He tells Bailey that he’ll see her around. She’s going to be a heartbreaker someday. Chase starts to leave, but Brook says, why doesn’t he stay?
Jason puts their glasses on the mantel, and Carly says she knows and trusts him more than anyone. He says, there’s no rush, and takes her hands. He tells her, they have the rest of their lives.
Sonny looks at photographs, and focuses on one of him and Carly.
Carly says, this morning she told him that she was afraid if they got married, she’d fall in love with him. She was wrong. She was in love with him then, and she’s in love with him now. He says he loves her too, and they kiss.
Sonny goes out on the terrace, looks up at the stars, and smiles.
Carly and Jason start to get busy, as Sonny walks up the stairs.
We see the picture of Carly and Sonny.
Tomorrow, Brook thinks Chase might have the answer, Anna tells Peter to give her an excuse, and Sonny walks in on Jason and Carly.
💦 Longest Day…
Sadly, one of my dogs suddenly got very sick. I was able to get her in to see her vet, but long sad story short, she passed away. So we’ll do some Deck tomorrow, and for now, stay safe, stay loving your pets in the time you have with them, and stay knowing that you don’t need a man (or woman) to prove you’re worthy.
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
Today’s GH was the start of the Nurse’s Ball 2014. We were treated to an Obrecht takeover, treating us with KathleenGati singing WIlkommen from Cabaret. It looks like the entire week will be dedicated to episodes from the 2014 and 2015 yearly event.
Below Deck Sailing Yacht
Avlaki, Corfu. Glenn asks to talk to Nicole, and explains that two crew members saw a guest with white powder under their nose. He wanted to speak to Nicole first, but says he’s obligated to get to get to the bottom of it. If there are drugs on board, it will be the end of the charter. He hopes that’s not the case, but says it was confirmed that the crew members definitely saw something. His next step is to talk to Billy; maybe he has a logical explanation. In Glenn’s interview, he says he could easily lose his license, or go to jail. Glenn tells Billy that a couple of crew members saw evidence of white powder under his nose. Billy says his hand to God, on his mother’s grave, he didn’t bring drugs onto the boat. Madison and Jenna listen in, while Georgia sings in the laundry room. Glenn asks if he can see Billy’s cabin, and if Madison will be a witness. In his interview, Glenn says he found a guest smoking a joint once, plucked it out of their mouth, and tossed it into the sea. If the authorities find drugs on board, it’s a big deal.
Glenn looks through Billy’s bags, and asks if there’s anything Billy doesn’t want him to find. Billy says he has nothing to hide. Glenn comes across some Gold Bond powder, and Billy says he’s not snorting that. Nicole tells another guest, this is so uncomfortable. Glenn says he didn’t find anything, and apologizes. In his interview, Glenn says he’s disappointed, but it sent a message. If there’s anything left, hopefully Billy has the sense to get rid of it. It’s not like he tossed the room. He just checked through some semi-packed bags.
Billy tells roommate Nicholas about the search, and wonders who the crew members were. What’s of interest here is, Nicolas immediately asks if Billy had anything. Billy says, no, but why would Nicholas ask if it wasn’t a possibility? Nicole says, it was intense. Jenna tells the other stews to keep them drinking. In Jenna’s interview, she says she made an observation, and was under obligation to tell Glenn. She didn’t relish ruining the guests’ vacation. Nicole says she just wants not to be stressed. In her interview, Jenna says she wanted to go out on a high note, but it’s going to be an awkward note at best. Glenn tells her there’s not much he can do, and she says it puts a damper on the last charter. Glenn tells Chris that he didn’t find anything, so he’s going to leave it there.
Jenna tells Madison there’s a bad vibe after the investigation. Madison brings Nicole a drink, and tells her to just breathe in, breathe out, and enjoy lunch. In Adam’s interview, he says, the guests are pissed, crew morale is in the dumps, and it sucks when the last charter goes sour. He has to kill it. Ooh, ceviche. I’ve never had it, but I’ve been dying to try it since I saw it on Shahs of Sunset (and where is that reunion anyway?) Adam serves the guests. Billy says he’s not hungry, and pouts. Jenna tells the guests, the sailing will be from 3 to 6, and afterwards, they’ll have the Greek party.
In Madison’s interview, she says, it’s an utter disaster. Get them drunk, get them fed, get them off the boat, and get the tip. Glenn asks her how the guests are doing, and she says they’re happy. Not so Billy, who decides to stomp up to the bridge and confront the captain. He says he gets that Glenn is doing his job, and it’s a serious thing, but he’s offended. Glenn apologizes, but says they have a blanket zero-tolerance policy. Just because he didn’t find anything, doesn’t mean it’s not on board. Billy says he was pretty effing drunk last night, but that was it, and his effing luxury vacation is now ruined. Please. First of all, boo-hoo that ten minutes was taken out of his luxury vacation because at best, he was acting stupid. And I don’t believe this guy wasn’t/isn’t on something. I’ve pretty much seen it all, and I’ve never seen anyone act like he does when they’re drunk. That dude was high. Billy says, there’s nothing there, and nothing was. He doesn’t know how to deal with this. In Glenn’s interview, he says he would hate for the season to implode when they’re this close to the finish line. A charter is always remembered by the ending. Billy stomps back to the deck.
Glenn calls Ciara, Paget, and Byron to the wheelhouse to talk about the regatta. He says if they want the charter to be a success, put on a big smile and happy faces. They have to sell it, and have the opportunity to finish on a high note. Glenn shows them the game plan, and they get ready to start. The course is set up, and Byron drives one boat, taking Billy (lucky him); and Paget drives the other boat with Nicholas. In Chris’s interview, he says he spent his childhood racing, and it’s heartbreaking. He wants to be out there. In Byron’s interview, he says, of course he’s stuck with the guy who was searched. He hopes Billy doesn’t get pissed off more. A third watch boat goes out, with a few guests, including Nicole. Paget gets a slow start, and the boats race around markers. Byron’s boat goes totally sideways, and into the water. He manages to right the boat, but team Paget wins. In his interview, Byron says he wants to punch Paget. Glenn says, good race, and Billy says, awesome, apparently forgetting his luxury vacation was ruined.
In Adam’s interview, he says, after the awkwardness, the guests’ vibe is getting better. It’s all about the food, and he has no room for mistakes. The guests put on togas and Greek themselves up. Ciara takes what my dad used to call a Navy bath, basically just splashing water on her armpits. Paget tells Byron that he hasn’t gotten Ciara anything for her birthday yet. In the crew mess, Paget tells Ciara, happy birthday, and Georgia looks at them like she hates them. In her interview, Georgia says she has feelings for Paget (don’t we have feelings about everything? that sounds so stupid to me), and the closer they get to the end of the season, she realizes she has to say something. In Ciara’s interview, she says, the season is almost over, and she’s looking for much needed time away from the crew. Madison and Georgia do a happy dance over their last turndown.
A Greek buffet is served. Adam sings, last meal of the season. Billy deigns to eat. Jenna tells Adam that the guests are happy. Nicole says the only thing that could make it better, would be someone rubbing her feet. I’m surprised a crew member doesn’t pop out and do it. In Jenna’s interview, she says she’s trying to do everything she can to make it better, but under the circumstances, she doesn’t know if it’s enough. It’s not a good way to go out.
Glenn tells Ciara, happy birthday. In Glenn’s interview, he says he sees the finish line. They need to keep it going; keep doing their best. The guests toddle out, and Adam makes breakfast. Nicole says she’d definitely charter the boat again, so evidently she couldn’t care less that Billy’s luxury vacation is ruined. Georgia says she’s going to be getting on an airplane so fast, and Madison says she wants to cry. Georgia tells Madison, if Jenna cries, it’s because she threw a rock at her. Paget says they’re all like old men, limping around the boat. The boat is carrying more dead weight than Byron’s jokes.
It’s finally time to say goodbye. Nicole floats off on a cloud of alcohol after giving Glenn the tip envelope. Glenn honks the horn, per tradition. In Paget’s interview, he says, they did it. And if they can do what they just did, the sky’s the limit. Jenna tells the stews that they need to get the boat fresh and ready for whatever she does next. Adam and Jenna talk about going to Venice. Georgia and Madison eat like madwomen in the crew mess. In Madison’s interview, she says she can’t be happier. Jenna joins them, and Georgia says she’s never worked with this big a crew before. Jenna thinks it went well. There were some things that pushed her over the edge more than usual. She says they joked around, but she doesn’t personally mind. Georgia asks if that’s because Jenna is the one doing the bullying. Jenna asks if Georgia thinks she doesn’t get bullied. In her interview, Georgia gives a surreptitious middle finger. Georgia says Jenna makes jokes at other people’s expense, and was having personal jokes with Adam in the galley. Jenna says, to be honest, it was her frustration coming out. She did think there were a lot of stupid questions, so she’d vent to Adam. Georgia says if there were questions, it was because she wasn’t familiar with the field. There wasn’t one day when she didn’t work her ass off. Jenna says she doesn’t disagree, and Madison says, we made it; it’s over. Let’s have one more good night.
Jenna tells Adam that the girls think she can be mean, and they’re afraid of her. Madison and Georgia eavesdrop, and roll their eyes. In Madison’s interview, she says, it’s how you treat people, how you talk to people, and how you manage a team. She’d never want anyone to feel like she was made to feel. She thinks she knows how it should be run, and could handle the job
Jenna tells Byron, when they started in the industry, it was more cutthroat. In Byron’s interview, he says there’s a level of respect that the younger ones need to learn. Georgia tells Madison, if there was a separation, it was because Jenna made it that way. Paget gives Ciara a gift bag in the crew mess, and she takes out a Leatherman. In her interview, Madison says, how romantic, but in Ciara’s interview, she says she loves practical birthday gifts. Paget says she’s park of the deck team now, and they hug. The crew sings Happy Birthday.
Glenn radios the crew for the debriefing. He says, they got through the final charter, and it was definitely challenging. But even though they had a situation, they still finished on a high note. The tip was $15,000, or $1660 each. Jenna is shocked, along with having a sense of relief. Glenn says they got more than $16K each in tips, and made a total of $143K. It’s a testament to how well they work as a team. He tells them he’s set up dinner at a beach bar; their final night out together. He’s coming along, and tells them to do as much as they can before they head out.
In his interview, Adam says he’s serious about the road trip. Even though it was a terribly emotional time, at this point, Jenna is the closest he’s ever gotten to saying I love you. He doesn’t give his heart easily, and it’s hard to believe sometimes. In Georgia’s interview, she says she can’t ignore her feelings for Paget anymore. It’s been weighing on her for a while, and she has to tell Ciara before Ciara finds out. She has to admit it’s a disloyal feeling, and it’s terrifying. She goes up on deck, where Ciara is coiling a gigantic rope, and asks if Ciara wants help. Ciara says, sure, and Georgia says she kind of has to tell Ciara something before they go. She’s having a bit of a thing for Paget. I honestly don’t get why she feels the need to do this. It’s not like she and Paget did anything but joke around. It seems like she’s just making an idiot of herself. I also don’t get how Ciara would find out otherwise. Does Georgia post her diary online?
Ciara says she already knew that, and it was no surprise. In Ciara’s interview, she says, this is super awkward. Georgia says she hasn’t ever wanted to cross the line, and wanted Ciara to know that. In her interview, Ciara says, let her silence speak for itself. She tells Georgia, you’re fine. In her interview, Georgia says to open up, and have Ciara say she knew, and never thought of Georgia as a threat, is twisting the knife; she wants to jump in [the water]. Again, I’m not getting this. On top of this need to tell Ciara, she wanted a jealous reaction? It’s like some weird mean girl backfire. I thought more highly of Georgia than this. Ciara tells Paget that she was washing the bow, and she and Georgia had a conversation about him. Georgia apologized and admitted she had a thing for him. He laughs, and Byron eavesdrops. Paget says, has or had, and Byron laughs. Paget tells Ciara, if it’s any consolation, he fancies Ciara. She says she hopes so, and they hug. Everyone gets ready for dinner.
The crew gets in the van, and they drive to the beach club. There’s a long, candlelit table near a firepit outside, where they sit. Jenna asks Ciara if they ever initiated the threesome, and Ciara says she wishes everyone would stop bringing it up. Paget says, it’s not happening. Glenn asks what everyone’s high point of the season was. Chris says it was sailing; the feeling of the sea, and the power of the wind. For Paget, it was the regatta, and for Adam, meeting Jenna. Everyone aww-groans. Glenn says the crew blew him away. The people knew, as well as those he just met. He congratulates them on a great season, and they clink glasses. In Glenn’s interview, he says, at the beginning of the season, he was with his core family, but the new crew coming in became like family. They don’t always get along, like you don’t always get along with your siblings, but overall, it was a fantastic family. He goes back to the boat, leaving the crew to their own devices.
Georgia says she’s not going to miss an opportunity to play guitar, taking it out of its case. Paget says he has a request from her number one fan. It’s in his head, but he can’t think of the name of it. He tells her, just play. She plays and sings, and he says, that’s it. I’m pretty sure it’s one of her own songs. In Jenna’s interview, she says, nice of Paget to call himself her number one fan. I think Paget feels a little sorry for her. Paget plays air guitar and sings along. In Ciara’s interview, she says if she never had to hear that song again, it would be way too soon. She cuddles with Paget. The song concludes, and everyone applauds. Georgia asks if they want another one, and there’s a moment of crickets before Madison says she wants to dance. They go to the main part of the restaurant; it’s somewhat enclosed, but has no walls. Byron, Jenna, and Adam stay behind, lounging on a long couch. Chris asks Paget if he thinks they’re falling asleep, and Paget says, they are 30 plus. Paget sees Georgia, and says he wants to tell her something. Oh please.
Georgia tells him, make her night. There’s a brief exchange I can’t really hear, and Paget says, forget about it, and walks away. When he gets back to Ciara, she asks if he loves her. He says, of course, and she asks if he’s happy with her birthday. He says, if she’s happy, he’s happy. Paget rounds everyone up. Chris wants to wait one more song, but Paget suggests they get in the effing van. Back on the boat, Chris writes, it’s over, on the whiteboard.
In the morning, Paget says his head is killing him. Chris complains that he had so many clothes he didn’t get to wear. In his interview, he says it’s scary for him. He started well, but now he’s going to head back to the UK and see a specialist to get his back sorted out. Hopefully he’ll come back better and stronger. In Byron’s interview, he says the crew has been mostly capable, but he’d never pass up an opportunity to work with Glenn. They made great tips, but he can’t wait to see his wife and daughter. He leaves, and wife Hayley meets him on the boardwalk, along with baby Saphira.
In Madison’s interview, she says she learned a lot, and is more sensitive than she thought she was. She takes things too personally, and shouldn’t. She’s going to miss Georgia the most, since she felt like she found a sister. She and Jenna high-five. She tells Georgia, you’re coming with me, and walks out on the dock. Georgia follows, saying she’s been waiting to hear that all season. Georgia and Madison say goodbye, and in her interview, Madison says she knows she’ll be friends with Georgia for the rest of her life.
Georgia asks to talk to Paget. She tells him it was great that she formed a strange, crazy connection, even at the expense of her dignity. She’s glad she met him; no one has gotten her like he has for a while. She gets teary, and says, it’s nice to know someone gets her. It means more than he realizes. Paget says Ciara told him at some point that she thought Georgia had feelings for him, but he couldn’t act on that. In his interview, he says Georgia is a good person underneath all the jokes, and she’s just looking for someone to treat her right. She’s talented, funny, good-looking, and available! Please treat her well. Paget reminds me of the nice college guy who’s gently brushing off the middle school girl who has a crush on him. Jenna tosses her clothes on the bed, wondering how she’s going to fit them in her suitcase.
Paget looks around the boat, and says, it’s a lot of work. Jenna tells Georgia, she knows it was complicated, and Georgia says, that’s the nature of the beast. Jenna says she thought she handled it well, but in Georgia’s interview, she says she thought she’d have team members to rely on. Instead, it was three times more complicated. Just saying. Ciara tells Georgia, it was nice, finding a hardcore bitch like herself.
In Jenna’s interview, she says, she fell in love in this hopeless place. How could she not love this season? Adam tells Glenn that he’s a great captain. He’s had his fair share, and Glenn is one of the few he’d work for again. I notice that Glenn is like, thanks, but doesn’t return that sentiment. In Adam’s interview, he says he’s learned a lot, and being vulnerable may not actually kill him. He asks if Jenna is ready for a road trip.
Glenn, Paget, and Ciara sit in the crew mess. Ciara says, it’s just us again. Glenn says it was a great season, and he’s glad they were there. He’s glad it worked out with Ciara being a deckhand. Ciara says she’s glad Glenn pushed her. In her interview, she says, she realized she’s more capable than she gives herself credit for. Being outside her comfort zone was good for her. She thanks Paget for making it happen.
Meanwhile, on the road… Jenna and Adam, living in a van down by the river. Or at least near the beach. Adam cooks over and open flame, and asks what time the primary wants to eat.
🧼 Leave It To LOGO…
A new soap is born. It’s always a roll of the dice, but if Morgan Fairchild is in, so am I.
While it disturbed my comfort level its first season, this time sMothered actually made me feel a little ill. Returning cast members Dawn and Cher, and Kathy and Cristina, who were not in the first episode, seem relatively normal in comparison to the newbies. And even then, mostly Dawn and Cher.
When the man in black became the man in white, I started feeling lost. By the time JessieAaron Paul came on the scene, I was more lost than I was when I was watching Lost. Another disappointment. When will it end?
Sadly, my buddy dog Casey lost his battle with the infection that attacked his kidneys. Run free, little man, run free. And as for you, stay safe, stay sound , and stay passing the open windows.
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)
General Hospital
Violet tells Anna that her daddy got a bouncy castle for the party. Anna says it’s a beautiful day for it, and Finn says he also ordered nice weather. Robert comes in, and says, there’s a delivery that needs a signature. Finn asks if it’s a piñata, but Robert says, it’s a pony, and it sneezed on him. Anna says, a pony? and Finn says, for riding.
Maxie closes her laptop, and Peter gives her a cup of coffee. He says he’s heading to Anna’s to help set up for Violet’s birthday party. Maxie says, Finn went all out, and Peter says, it’s the first party Finn has been able to celebrate with his daughter. Plus, her mom won’t be there. Maxie says, a distraction. She’ll meet him there after. He says, after what? and she says, the eruption of Mount Lulu.
Willow reads to a child in the hospital, and he falls asleep. She says he must be tired; they were just getting to the good part. A woman looks through the window, and Willow tells him, sleep well. She comes out, and his mother thanks her for reading to him. It’s always the highlight of his day. Willow says, hers too. They didn’t finish, so she’d be happy to come back tomorrow. His mother says they’re moving him to hospice tomorrow. It’s time. Willow hugs her.
On the phone with Diane, Michael says, next week? What are the chances he gets what he wants?… Is there a way to increase the numbers?… Besides that. He says he’ll think it over. Sasha brings him coffee, and asks if he can fill her in the other side of the conversation. He says the hearing date was moved up to next week, and his chances of full custody are slightly better than 50%. She says, unless he marries Willow, and he says, then it goes up. I have to say it. Wouldn’t the court find it odd and suspicious if he suddenly married someone he doesn’t have that kind of relationship with? I’m not so sure that would go in his favor.
Anna tells Robert, maybe Finn went a little overboard. Violet and Finn come back in, and Violet says the pony’s name is Fletcher. Robert asks if he sneezed on her too. She says, no, and asks if they can keep him. Anna says, can they? and Finn says she’s not helping. She says she’s just getting in the mood with some excitement, and Finn suggests Roxie might get jealous. Violet says, Roxie has to put on her party hat, but Finn isn’t sure if Roxie likes hats. They go upstairs, and Robert asks why Anna asked him there early. She says she thought he’d want extra time with Fletcher. She heard Obrecht was extradited, and she was hoping the whole thing was over now. Let Peter move on in peace.
Maxie tells Peter, she has to tell Lulu that she’s working for Deception, and Valentin is bankrolling it. Peter says, there’s nothing wrong with her working there, and she says they know that, but Lulu, not so much. Valentin is still Charlotte’s father, and Charlotte loves and needs her dad. Lulu is so blinded with rage, she can’t see that. Peter says, it’s crazy. Valentin is more reasonable with gritting his teeth and co-existing. Maxie says, he’d do anything for Charlotte, even play nice, and Peter asks if she’s thought of just saying that to Lulu. She asks if he’s insane.
In the hallway at the MetroCourt, Nelle asks if Valentin’s got a minute. He thinks it’s best they’re not seen together, and she says, the Quartermaines have no idea he’s moving in on their family money. He suggests they keep their voices down, and she says, it’s because of her generosity, and he asks what she wants. She says he’s acting like they’re not in the same position. He’s fighting for his daughter, and she’s fighting for her son.
Chase tells Willow that he saw her outside with the boy’s mother. Is she okay? She says, she’s fine, but Steven is terminal. His mother told her that they’re moving him to hospice. He says, he’s so sorry, and she says, it’s a mom thing. Steven’s mother is wired to comfort and take care of him. All the time she has with her son, every moment is precious. She was wondering what she would do if Wiley’s life was on the line and she didn’t have a say. She doesn’t think she could stand it.
Sasha tells Michael, it seems straightforward to her. He has to marry Willow. He says before they go further with the conversation, she needs to know he loves her, and whatever decision he makes moving forward doesn’t take away from that. It’s a strategy. She says she knows. He loves Wiley, and Willow does too. Sasha couldn’t love him if he was willing to jeopardize Wiley’s life to hang on to her. She couldn’t look at herself in the mirror either. It has nothing to do with how they feel, and everything to do with Wiley. He’s all that matters. He says she has no idea how much that means to him that she understands. She says he’d do anything for Wiley; so would she. And so would Willow. He says, if Chase wasn’t in the picture, he’d promise he and Sasha would be together one day, and ask Willow to marry him, but Chase is in the picture, so it can’t happen. Sasha says, there’s got to be a way.
Willow tells Chase, she’s being ridiculous. Why would she have a say? Michael is Wiley’s dad, and he makes the decisions. He can handle anything, assuming Nelle doesn’t get in the way. Chase says, that’s assuming a lot. Since Willow is there, why not see Wiley? She asks if he doesn’t think she’s obsessive and hovering, but he thinks she’s incredible. He knows Wiley would love to see her; he always does. She says he’s amazing. She loves him so much. He says he loves her too, and she asks if he wants to come. He says he’s got work to do, and to give Wiley a fist bump for him. When she’s gone, Chase gets on the phone.
Michael tells Sasha, Willow’s not available. She’s in love with Chase, and he’s in love with her. They’re amazing, and have been incredibly supportive, but they have a life together. He can’t ask them to put it on hold because of his custody fight. Nelle isn’t going anywhere, and it’s not like they could be married for two months and get a quiet annulment. Sasha says, Nelle would be all over that, and he says, she’d drag him back to court. It wouldn’t have to be forever, but it would be a while. Sasha has been amazing, being down with that. She has no idea how grateful he is, but that’s them, not Willow and Chase. She says she understands, but thinks he has to give Willow the choice. He can’t make the decision for her. Sasha’s phone dings, and she sees a text from chase. I need to see you. The MetroCourt restaurant. Don’t tell Michael. She tells Michael, it’s a minor crisis, but Lucy is freaking out. He tells her, go, and she says she’ll be back as soon as she can.
Valentin tells Nelle, he thinks they’re done, but she says, they’re just getting started. She says, they don’t have to be enemies. She can be a friend; more than that. She could be surprisingly good for him. He says he passes, and she says she may be forced to make trouble for him then.
On the phone with Charlotte, Lulu says she has to meet Maxie before she picks Charlotte up, but watch her phone. She’ll text Charlotte before she leaves. Charlotte has to get dressed for Violet’s party… She’s going. It’s not up for debate…Who’s going to be there? Georgie, Aiden, Avery… Yes, and Avery’s mother. She’d appreciate it if Charlotte would be polite. Enjoy her ride, and watch her phone.
Maxie tells Peter, when Nina and Valentin imploded, she was relieved not to be involved in their family disfunction, gritting her teeth and placating Nina. Lulu was sitting in judgement, but it all went away when Nina kicked Valentin to the curb. Yay. But now she’s working for him. He’s a silent partner, but their paths are bound to cross. She thinks Lulu makes things more difficult than they need be. What’s weird is, no one is more obsessed with their father than Lulu. She hero worships him. When Lulu was a kid, she was willing to travel the world, or jump off a cliff for him, but there were plenty of people who disapproved of him. Peter says, so he’s not that different from Valentin, and she says, you’d think Lulu would realize that Valentin’s daughter feels the same way as Lulu does about her own dad. She thanks him for letting her get it all out. She doesn’t want to vent to Lulu. There will be a huge, pointless fight that’s no good for anyone. She says she’ll see him later, and he tells her, good luck. She says she’s going to need it.
Anna tells Robert, she and Finn almost broke up over his mistrust of Peter. Then hard evidence surfaced that it was Obrecht, and Finn was reassured. He’s happy; let them be happy. He asks if she thinks he wants her unhappy, and she says she thinks he’s like a dog with a bone when it comes to Peter. Let Violet have her birthday, and let Finn be content. Don’t go digging around to fire things up again. It was Obrecht. She believes it, the WSB believes it, and soon, the Hague will believe it. Let the whole thing be over. He says he’s not saying another word. He’ll be the vison of politeness, but mutual co-existence is the best he can manage. Finn asks if he’s interrupting, and Robert says they were just remembering a party where they got Robin a pony, and she loved it. Somehow it got in the house. She says Robert left the door open. He says, it messed on the rug, but Robin loved it. Anna says, like Violet will. Finn asks if the clown arrived, and Robert says, he got there fifteen minutes ago.
Anna answers the door to Peter, and says she’s glad he could make it. He asks if Violet is excited, and she says, that’s an understatement. Violet runs in, and asks them to come outside and watch her ride the pony. Peter too. Robert says he has to double-check the balloons; could Peter help him? Anna asks if they’re sure they can play nice. When the rest go outside, Peter says Robert called him Peter. Is that a sign?
Maxie meets Lulu at the MetroCourt, and Lulu says she’s in a hurry. She has to pick Charlotte up, and get her home and dressed before Violet’s party. Maxie asks if Charlotte is still into riding, and Lulu says she had to put her foot down; Charlotte was spending so much time with Butterscotch. Valentin got the horse for her. Maxie says, funny Lulu should mention Valentin. As it turns out, she’s going to be working with him.
Valentin tells Nelle, he’s been thinking about the documents he forged to help her escape with Michael’s son. She says, her son, and he says, if the results of her machinations come to light, he’ll side with the father who’s trying to protect his son. She suggests he not piss her off, and he tells her not to jeopardize the child, or he’ll be forced to choose sides, and he doesn’t like her much to begin with.
Willow tells Michael, she hit the jackpot. She got to kiss Wiley as he was drifting off to sleep. He asks if Wiley did the cute ear tug thing, and she says, who needs a pacifier when you’ve got cute lobes? Sorry. He says, for what? She says she feels like she snuck in and stole the moment from him. He says he spends tons of time with Wiley; it’s all good. Since she agreed to testify, he thinks he should tell her, the hearing date was moved up to next week. She says, wow. What did Diane say? He says she thinks his chances would be better if he was married to her.
Robert tells Peter, that he would have loved to have found proof that Peter was a murderer and his father’s son, but frankly, it’s not there. He was wrong, and he’s admitting it. Peter appreciates that, and Robert says, everything points to Obrecht. It’s her modus operandi. She held Robert’s daughter captive; she held him captive. It had be her. He wasn’t convinced before because he didn’t want it to be true, but now he knows it is. Obrecht is on her way to the Hague, and he’s on board with that. Peter isn’t sure what to say, and Robert says, they’ll never be best buds, but he feels a mutual co-existence is manageable. Peter says it sounds good to him. Anna comes in, and asks if everything is all right. Robert says, peachy. He’s going out to see Violet in action. He leaves, and Peter says Robert claims to accept he’s innocent. Should he believe him?
Lulu says, sorry; what? and Maxie says she quit her job at Crimson, and landed at Deception with Sasha and Lucy. She’s excited. It’s more money, and even better, she’s on an equal footing with Lucy, and they’ll make executive decisions together. Lulu says, first, congratulations, but what does it have to do with Valentin? Maxie says, he’s a silent partner; it’s an angel investor thing. Lulu says, how? In what universe would Valentin team up with Lucy? Maxie says, this universe. She’s not sure how it went down, but Lucy said without Valentin, Deception would have been a non-starter. Lulu says Maxie can’t get involved with Valentin. He’ll do something terrible; double-cross her or worse. No one is less trustworthy. Where did the money come from? It was probably stolen. Maxie needs to walk away while she still can. Maxie says she’s not asking permission. She’s letting Lulu know, as a courtesy, what’s happening with her.
Valentin wants Nelle to get it straight. He forged the documents because it was beneficial to him to get her ELQ shares. Don’t think it didn’t bother him that Nelle wanted to escape with Michael’s son. She says, her son, and he says he could have given them her location, but it wasn’t necessary. Now he has the shares and the documents. Stay out of his way, and don’t make trouble, or he’ll end her dog and pony show. She says, so he’s going the enemy route, and he says, there’s no other option. She says, there could have been. He’s going to regret it. He tells her, don’t bet on it. Have a nice day.
Chase tells Sasha, so the best chance for Michael to keep Wiley would be to marry Willow, and she says, that’s where they’re at. He asks how she feels about it, and she says, notawesome. She loves Michael. She thinks there’s a chance he could be the one, under other circumstances. But under these circumstances, Michael has a kid with a psycho mother. Chase says, and she wants Michael to get Wiley away from his psycho mother, more than she wants him for herself. She says she does.
Michael hopes he didn’t put Willow on the spot, but she says, no. She asked, and Diane is insanely smart. If she thinks marrying her is the tipping point… He says he’s looking at it like a strategy, which is hard, since they’re human beings with feelings. It’s a little easier for him, since Sasha is on board, and supports whatever he feels is best for Wiley. Willow asks if he thinks marrying her would be best, and he says, Nelle has as much right as he does to Wiley. He can’t walk into court, and just say what a horrible person she is. It would be her legal right to do the same to him. It can’t be about proving how bad Nelle is, but what’s best for Wiley. If they’re talking strategy, and not feelings, she’s what’s best for Wiley.
Anna tells Peter, Robert will always be skeptical; that’s a fact. Peter did nothing wrong, and he’s not going to. That’s also a fact. Peter says, much to Robert’s chagrin, and she says, maybe. For all his faults, Robert is an honorable man. He’d never make anything up. She hopes, maybe in a couple of years, it will get easier. They might even like each other. He tells her, don’t hold her breath, and she says Robert is sucking it up because she asked him to. All the tension was making Finn worry, and contributed to their separation. He asks if she and Finn are good again, and she says, very good. Peter and Robert should be able to have a relationship that has nothing to do with her. They can loathe each other if they want, but they’re family, and that’s not how family acts. At least not this one. Peter says, family… and she says, he’s part of it.
Maxie tells Lulu, business is business. Is she going to Valentin’s for dinner? No. Will they be friends and bond? Lulu says, she certainly hopes not, and Maxie says, no, but Deception needed his involvement. He made Lucy an offer, and she took the deal, and Maxie can’t argue with that. Lucy did her a huge favor by hiring her. Lulu says she thought Lucy said she wanted Maxie, and Maxie says, she did; then she didn’t. Long story. The point is, she’s there now, and so is Valentin. That’s just the way it is. Lulu says she doesn’t like it, but Maxie says, she’s not asking Lulu to like it, and doesn’t expect her to, but be real. Valentin is smart. Cassadine Industries was run into the ground when he took over. He’s the only reason the company is in the black. Lulu says, yay, and Maxie says, Valentin is a smart businessman. If he does for Deception what he did for his own company, than jackpot. Lulu says, if Maxie is honest, Valentin is the man who made Claudette disappear. Disappeardisappear. Maxie says, that’s unconfirmed, and Lulu says Valentin shot her brother. Maxie says, he survived, and Lulu says, Valentin kidnapped Charlotte. Maxie says, it’s not kidnapping when you have custody, and Lulu says, he threw Ava off of a balcony. Maxie says, no one saw it, and Ava was drunk as a skunk. They can fight about it, but Lulu needs to ask herself, is it worth it to her? Because it’s definitely not worth it to Maxie. Valentin sees Lulu and Maxie talking.
Sasha tells Chase, she moved in with Michael to ward off Nelle. She loves being close to him, but it was more a necessity. Before this happened, marriage and kids weren’t even on her radar. Chase and Willow though… Chase remembers telling Willow that he has an agenda. He wants to spend more time with her as a couple, and see where things go. Is that something she wants? She says, very much, and he tells her, it’s the sort of conversation two people have when they love each other, and he loves her. She says she loves him too. He tells Sasha, Willow is the love of his life.
Michael tells Willow, it’s not just how she looks on paper; it’s how she is in person. Nelle is great at faking it, at being honest and altruistic, but Willow is all that and more. It’s like saccharine versus sugar. One tastes fine until you have the real thing. She’s the real thing, and so is her love for Wiley. He can’t say he wouldn’t love the chance to show that to the judge.
Anna says, popcorn before the party? and Finn says, Violet had to test it to make sure it’s okay. Anna says, quality control; she gets it. Violet wants her to come see the face painting and the photo booth, and drags her outside. Robert says, Violet is on cloud nine, and the party hasn’t even started. Finn did good. Finn thanks him, and tells him, come on. Finn asks if Peter is coming, but Peter says he has to make a quick call. Finn asks if Robert is going to get his face painted, and Robert says he could be persuaded. Finn says, princess or unicorn? They leave, and Peter makes a call. He says, it’s him. Robert may still be a problem. He wants to move for the distraction.
Lulu tells Maxie, she hates this, but gets it. She promises that Valentin’s involvement is for the same reason he bought Charlotte a horse. He wants to make himself look good to Maxie, the way the horse makes him look good to Charlotte. He’s always trying to show her up. My, she is self-focused. Maxie says, so much of it is in Lulu’s head, and Lulu says Valentin gave Charlotte unlimited access to his credit card. Maxie says, wow, and Lulu says, no wow. Charlotte could go to a jewelry store, and get a $10K necklace, and not bat an eye. Maxie tells her not to give Valentin more power by letting him come between them. She’s not resigning from her job. Lulu says, fine. Obviously, she doesn’t want to give Valentin more power or fight with Maxie. For the record, she’s happy for Maxie; she deserves it and she’s going to crush it. She loves Maxie. Maxie says she loves Lulu too, and Lulu says she has to pick up Charlotte. Maxie says, perfect timing; she has to get Georgie and James. They leave as Valentin watches.
Chase tells Sasha, you know something crazy? He was thinking about forever with Willow, only a month and a half in. When he’s with her, he’s home. Sasha says it’s not like they had it easy, and he says, no, but through all the struggle and hardship, watching Willow navigate it, made him love her more. Sasha says they have a right to be happy. As messed up and complicated as the custody situation is, it’s not his problem to solve.
Michael says he’s sorry for putting it on Willow; it’s not fair. If not for Chase, he’d marry her in a heartbeat. Willow thinks Chase loves her enough, that for Wiley’s sake, he would understand, but it’s not about Chase; it’s about her. Does that make her selfish? He says, not at all, and she says, if this is the only way, she’ll do it. Michael says, it’s not the only way. If it was, he’d throw himself on her mercy, offer her a million dollars, whatever it took; but he’s got the best lawyer in the state, and more assets at his disposal than Nelle. He can beat her. Willow asks if he promises that he’s not looking at her feelings instead of Wiley’s. He says he promises.
Chase asks where Michael’s head is at, and Sasha says, they talked about it, and she thinks he’s willing to marry Willow. He’s a good strategist, and knows how to put his feelings aside to get the outcome he wants. Willow isn’t like that. She’s not calculating like Michael, and she doesn’t mean that in a negative way. Chase says, Michael’s sole focus is on his son as it should be, and Sasha says, Willow can’t compartmentalize like that; she can only follow her heart. Chase says, so Michael would want to marry Willow? and Sasha says, she thinks the only reason he wouldn’t is out of respect for Chase and Willow. He knows how much they love each other. Chase says, he doesn’t know how Willow could be happy for the rest of her life if Nelle got custody of Wiley, and she knew she could have stopped it, but didn’t.
Tomorrow, Olivia says she hasn’t given up, Lulu tells Ava that she doesn’t want her daughter in the middle of this feud, and Sonny says somebody else needs a heads up.
Vanderpump Rules
Stassi looks for ranch dressing, and Tom says he’s never gotten into ranch on pizza. This has never been more relevant to be, when I got fried mushrooms over the weekend from the local pizza place, and it came with ranch. I was like, WTF? Where’s the marinara sauce? In Katie’s interview, she says their wedding in the woods was everything, but now they have all their friends there for a fun weekend. When life hands you lemons, get married in Vegas. Both Tom and Stassi want to officiate, and they decide to do it together. Stassi asks if Tom is pissed, but he says no. In her interview, she says, it’s simple algebra. Her love for Katie and Schwartz outweighs her distain for Tom. Schwartz says, it’s going to be a fun, gimmicky Vegas wedding. He wants to give Katie another ring, and Stassi says she can’t even get one.
Scheana, Charli, and Danica go out for drinks. Danica says she woke up with red velvet cake all over her, and Charli says she did too. Scheana says, the only people allowed to touch her face are her makeup artist and Botox tech. She can’t go to the wedding, since she’s having surgery. She’s been hormonal, emotional, and sick. In her interview, she says tomorrow is her egg retrieval. It’s an emotional process. We flash back to her whining to Lala about doing it alone. Danica says she saw Scheana talking to Dayna, and wonders what’s up. Scheana says, it was a misunderstanding. The only thing that bothered her was that Dayna thought she liked Brett, but went out on a date with him, and told her afterward. She’d talked to Max, and he was cool about the Brett and Dayna thing, telling her it was just a casual lunch. Charli asks if Brett and Max aren’t best buddies.
At TomTom, Max shows Brett how to make some cocktails. In Brett’s interview, he says he’s not cut out to be a server, but he’s a great bartender, since he’s good at talking to people. Max says, Dayna loves espresso, and Brett can make it for her. Brett says he and Dayna made out at the party, but they didn’t plan it. He asks if it’s cool with Max, since he likes hanging out with Dayna. Max says, whatever, which usually means it’s not so cool. He says, if there’s a connection there, he can’t take that away. Brett says, if Max said he was overstepping, it would be a done deal.
Charli wonders if Brett is going around the restaurant, dating everyone. In her interview, she says she’s learned two things since moving to L.A. Everyone bangs everyone else, and they don’t care, and for men, a vagina has no face. She asks, who’s next? Lisa?
While shoe shopping, Lisa tells Ken about Brett saying he’d rather make out with her, and we flash back to that. Puffy! She asks if Ken is jealous, but he says, is she joking? He’s not going to be jealous of a whippersnapper. She says, for that, he’s buying her shoes, and she asks for the most expensive pair. The clerk shows her a pair of Vuittons, but she already has them in black, and tells him, keep going. She tells Ken that Tom and Katie are coming with them on the plane. They went through a lot to get them married, and when she found out it was null and void, she wants to see them do the paperwork this time. Now they’ve invited a bunch of others. In her interview, In her interview, she says, if she has to yank Schwartz down the aisle, they’re getting it done. She tells Ken Nick Alain is coming to Vegas, and they’re going over the plans for the Vanderpump Suite. In Lisa’s interview, she says the Vanderpump Cocktail Garden is a roaring success, so Caesar’s asked her to create a Vanderpump Suite. She’s loving the shoes, and tells Ken to get her out of there asap.
On the private plane, Tom says, this is legit, and Schwartz says, it’s too much. He asks if Lisa and Ken do this all the time, and Lisa wants to reiterate they’re to just have fun and seal the deal. He dropped the ball the last time, and Katie says Schwartz is just barely out of the doghouse. Lisa says at her house, the doghouse is a good place to be. Puffy! In Schwartz’s interview, he says, Puffy’s got it made.
In Vegas, Lisa and Ken check into the suite they’ve stayed in before, which will be the one they’re redesigning. The key has Lisa’s picture on it. The others arrive, and Lala is wearing a sheer duster. I love those.
At SUR, Dayna polishes the glasses, and Scheana says, it’s like déjà vu. Dayna asks if she’s working, but Scheana says she has her egg retrieval surgery tomorrow, and wants to get her pay in case she’s out for a few days. Dayna says they talked about the Brett situation, but Scheana went to Max and riled him up. He was fine before he talked to Scheana. Scheana says Brett thought it was just a casual lunch, but she’s sorry for commiserating with Max instead of having an adult conversation with Dayna. She owed that to her. Dayna says all she wants is for them to be real about what they’re thinking and feeling. She accepts Scheana’s apology, and wants to move on. In Dayna’s interview, she says Scheana is a goddam space cadet, but she appreciates the apology. She asks if Scheana is okay now, and Scheana says, 100%. She had a crush on Brett in the beginning, but they’re better as friends. She asks if Dayna is going hang out with Brett again, and Dayna says they’re having dinner with James and Raquel tomorrow. She tells Scheana, good luck with her egg retrieval.
Randall says, legally, this is a real wedding, and Lala says she’s excited. He asks if she thinks it’s going to trigger Stassi, and says Lala and Stassi have a lot in common. Lala says she’s tired of being a girlfriend; the girlfriend of a 47 year old man. In her interview, she says, when a man is in the 40 something range, he’s too old be a boyfriend. Leo DiCaprio should be a husband. She tells Randall, he’s too old to be a boyfriend.
Stassi and Tom work on the ceremony. Stassi says, they’re gathered here today, and Tom says, once again. Stassi suggests Tom and Ariana could get married there. In Ariana’s interview, she says, in this summer of weddings, it’s been nice to not constantly have to talk about if they’re getting married. She thanks Stassi for bringing it back up. Tom says Ariana still has to be convinced.
Brittany wants to get married again, and Jax says, absolutely not. In her interview, Brittany says, marrying Jax was special because it made them family. She wants that for Schwartz and Katie. Without that paper, they could easily part ways. Brittany questions Jax wearing a white jacket, but he says, it’s a bizarre situation. He doesn’t think there are any rules.
Schwartz loves his fringed jacket, and tells Katie, you know what else he loves? She says, her? and he pulls a bra out of his suitcase, saying, this bra. She says, it’s not hers. In his interview, Schwartz says he has no idea how it got in his suitcase. He tells Katie, she took the suitcase last time, but Katie says, WTF? This is not hers. She takes the bra, and ponders it.
Beau has a beer, and calls Stassi’s father Mark. He drinks more beer, and tells Mark that they’re in Vegas. In Beau’s interview, he says he definitely knows Mark speaks his mind. We flash back to them meeting, and Stassi saying she’s afraid Mark is going to scare Beau off. Mark says, it’s a father’s job to scare boyfriends off. Beau says, he’s intimidating. He tells Mark that he’s asking permission to propose to Stassi, and Mark says he was apprehensive when they first started going out. You don’t always know if it’s a perfect fit. He tells Beau, of course he can propose. He thinks they balance each other out, and make a great couple. He’s pleased. Beau says it means a lot, and he’ll make a good son-in-law when it happens. Mark says he can’t promise Stassi will make a good wife. Beau says, burn. He’s going to let her know Mark said that. He thanks Mark, and drinks some more.
Nick arrives, and Lisa says they’re going to meet with general manager Sean. Their ambition is to make the suite look more Vanderpumpian. She says Sean is the most handsome man she’s ever seen. He joins them, and he’s handsome, but I don’t know if he’s the most handsome. She shows him some photos, and says Nick is going to create a chandelier; his forte is lighting. In Lisa’s interview, she says it’s going to be top-of-the-line. Dignitaries, royalty, and movie stars will be staying there, but most important, she and Ken will stay there. Sean tells them that the restaurant surpassed expectation. Pretty soon, they’ll have 4000 Vanderpump rooms.
Charli asks Raquel how she and James are doing, and Raquel says, well. James is doing well on the path of sobriety, and it turns her on. In her interview, she says she doesn’t want to say the sex is better, because it wasn’t bad, but it’s not sloppy drunk sex, and wondering if it’s going to work or not. Raquel asks Charli if things are cool with Brett, and Charli says, as a friend. She thought she’d have a guy friend who didn’t want to bang her, but Raquel says, if you have guy friend, he’s 100% going to want to bang you. It doesn’t work any other way.
In Vegas, everyone goes to Lisa’s restaurant. Katie says, it’s Schwartz’s last night of freedom. Their waitress could be Scheana’s double, and Jax says he thought it was Scheana. In Stassi’s interview, she says, it’s definitely a Black Mirror episode. She feels like the waitress is going to jump on the bar, and sing Sweet As Silver. It is an uncanny resemblance.
Kristen visits Scheana, and asks how the surgery went. Scheana says she doesn’t know. The first time, she had nine good eggs, but even if there’s only one, she’s never doing this again. In her interview, Scheana says they do the retrieval in under five minutes, but she has to wait to find out if any of them are viable. She tells Kristen that Katie texted, saying she wished Scheana was there, and Kristen says she doesn’t want to accidentally hit any of their stories. In Kristen’s interview, she says, it’s effing devastating. It was ride or die with her two best friends, but now they keep going through huge life moments without each other. She tells Scheana that her feelings are hurt, but she can’t take the fighting. Happy wedding. Good Lord, find some new friends already.
Schwartz tells Jax about the bra. In his interview, he says he’s definitely innocent. He has a clear conscience and nothing to hide. Lisa tells Katie that she put some of her underwear in Schwartz’s suitcase. He didn’t file the paperwork, and everyone always says he’s never held accountable for anything. Now he’ll be held accountable for something he didn’t do (a scathingly brilliant idea). In Katie’s interview, she says she wants to see Schwartz sweat and be uncomfortable. She’s going to see how long she can keep it going. Lisa tells the Scheana clone to keep away from Max. She laughs, and Lisa says, she even laughs like Scheana. Max says, she’s like a mini Scheana, and Lisa asks about Dayna. He says she and Brett made out, and Lisa asks if Brett is stepping on any toes. Max says, he’s frustrated, but it is what it is. In Max’s interview, he says he supported Brett and Dayna’s friendship, but told Brett that he had feelings for Dayna. Tom suddenly announces they’re going ziplining, and tries to get Lisa to go. She says she’s already had a couple of drinks.
We see Lisa being hooked up to the zipline. She says she hasn’t done this since her honeymoon. Everyone ziplines, and it looks like a lot of fun. Lisa says she survived.
Katie tells Schwartz the bra isn’t hers, and she doesn’t know if she can marry him now. He flops face down on the bed and moans. She says she’s just screwing with him. He says they have to figure out whose bra it is, and she asks whose bra he wishes it was. He says, Lisa’s, and she laughs. She says, Lisa put it in his suitcase yesterday. In Katie’s interview, she says Lisa is Schwartz’s hall pass. Go for it, and good luck. He tells her that he smelled it, and doesn’t want to give it back. In his interview, he says Katie had him for a second. It was the best prank. He tells Katie he wants to keep it, but not in a weird way. She says, there is no other way.
Danica visits Dayna, who’s going through some new clothes she bought online. In Dayna’s interview, she says, it’s hard to be a sexy girl in L.A. on a budget. She goes for cheap, slutty clothes, so it’s a win-win. Danica asks, what’s going on with Brett? and Dayna says they kissed during the cake fight. She doesn’t know what’s going on, but he makes her vagina tingle. The other issue is Max. Danica thinks he’s immature, but doesn’t think Brett is the person for Dayna either. She deserves better. In Danica’s interview, she says Dayna is a Leo and Brett is a Pisces, and they don’t mix. She slathers on some lip gloss, and says she’s dated two Pisces. She’s a Leo, and that’s why she has restraining orders against her. It’s not her fault; they were too sensitive. Dayna says she appreciates Danica’s concern, and Danica says she knows Dayna has good sense and judgment, and she wants her to use it.
Tom goes to Schwartz’s suite, dressed like a poor man’s Elvis. Schwartz asks for a quarter shot. He says, Lisa’s bra smells like opulence; diamonds, rosé, and tangerines. In his interview, Tom says, the theme is bizarro character Vegas. Schwartz is cowboy glam, marrying his glam rocker bride. Ariana is an enthusiastic middle-aged tourist, Lala is a glitter babe, Stassi is a nun, and he’s the king of extra. It’s the perfect Vegas wedding.
Lisa tells Stassi that the nun outfit suits her. Ariana comes in wearing her tourist garb, and Lisa says everyone who works for her is batsh*t crazy. Katie walks down the aisle, and Tom tells everyone, be seated. They’re gathered here once again. He shows that they have the proper documents, and everyone applauds. Stassi says, it’s a twice in a lifetime event, and feels it’s all Schwartz’s fault. Stassi says, now Schwartz gets his dream wedding of all of them getting sh*tfaced in Vegas. In Jax’s interview, he says there’s nothing more on brand for Schwartz and Katie, but his and Brittany’s wedding was better. Schwartz and Katie vow to be each other’s ride or die all their lives, and in the afterlife. They’re pronounced husband and wife, and Tom says, let’s sign this sh*t right now. Katie throws the bouquet, and Stassi catches it.
Dayna and Brett go on their double-date with Raquel and James. Brett asks, what’s going on? He saw James talking to Lala. James says, Lala has had a lot of patience with him. We flash back to them hugging it out, and James says he feels like they’re coming to a real place. Raquel says Lala has been where James is, making the decision not to drink, and has been encouraging. In his interview, James says he’s been sober for two weeks, and has had no fights with anyone. It’s been an amazing two weeks. Brett reminds Dayna that he licked her face at the party, and Dayna says Danica has been messing in her business since Max, and Brett says, she overdramatizes every situation. In Brett’s interview, he says Danica has been poisoning his garden, and he only wants non-GMO things growing in there. He mentions flirting with Lisa, and James says Lisa has been like his mom, and he’s never flirted with her. In his interview, Brett says, working at SUR, he’s seen beautiful women, but there’s nothing like when Lisa walks through the room. If she wasn’t married, he’d definitely slide into her DMs. Hard. I’ll bet she’d slide him right out. Hard. In Dayna’s interview, she says, Lisa is hot.
Back in Vegas, after the ceremony, everyone applauds when Schwartz and Katie come in. Jax says he’s going to keep his speech short. He’s happy they got married a second time, and speaks for Brittany as well when he says, welcome to married life. He thanks Schwartz for effing up, so they could go to Vegas. Lisa says Schwartz owes her big time. We find out Scheana’s twin’s name is Karrah, and Max says he slipped her his number. Stassi says he’s hooking up with Scheana’s doppelganger? They toast with shots, and Beau tells Lisa that he’s proposing soon to Stassi. He’s got the rings, and she has no idea. It’s epic. In his interview, Beau says most people are nervous about the girl’s father, but he has her group of friends to make him nervous, and he has to ask Lisa. He tells Lisa that he’s going to propose in the Hollywood Forever Cemetery. Lisa is happy, and knows Stassi loves him. She says she knew Ken was the one because she didn’t want to spend life without him. Puffy! She knows Beau feels that way about Stassi, and promises to keep it a secret. Stassi gazes at Beau.
The next morning, Beau tells Stassi, it’s hard be a normal human. She orders a Bloody Mary from room service, using a British accent, and Beau adds an English muffin. She tells Beau that she caught the bouquet, and don’t forget it. They pack.
Lisa tells Ken, there are some liquor distributor bills that need to be sorted out, and gets Max on a video call. She asks if he paid them, and he says he did. He tells her that the other guys left the place a mess, and she tells him not to leave the room looking like a brewery; it will reflect badly on her. She asks to see the room, and says, it looks terrible; clean it up. She tells him to show her the bed again, and sees a hand peeking out. She asks, what’s with that? and he says he brought a friend home. It’s Karrah, and Max says, she’s very tired. Karrah says, she’s not tired from him; she promises. Lisa says, he’s got to be effing kidding. In her interview, she says why is she not surprised? Max didn’t waste any time getting in trouble. She tells Karrah, get out of bed and clean the room. Max says they’ll talk later, and she says, don’t worry; they will. In Max’s interview, he says he hates Vegas. Lisa tells Ken, Max is already banging the staff, as if he hasn’t banged enough people already.
Katie asks Schwartz where the paper is, and he knows he has it, but can’t find it. In her interview, she says she married an imbecile, but it’s okay. He insists there’s no chance he lost it, and she says, it’s literally the whole reason they’re there, and he couldn’t hold on to it for an hour. She’s going to tell Lisa. In his interview, Schwartz says he didn’t lose what matters most… Lisa’s bra. Katie hopes it turns up, but Schwartz says, they’re still legally married. She asks if he’s sure about that.
Next time, Dayna flirts with Brett, James and Lala record some new music, and Beau wants to remain friends with Kristen, which makes Stassi mad.
If Loving You Is Wrong
Lushion sees Ian and Alex having sex through the window, and blocks Brad’s view, telling him she’s not there. Brad says he didn’t knock, but Lushion says he remembered Ian left. Brad asks if his car isn’t there, and Lushion says, he had somebody pick him up; let’s go. Brad says Alex left the kids home with a babysitter who has to go to school tomorrow. Lushion doesn’t know what came over her, and Brad thinks she’s lost her mind. He says he’ll be at the house, and if Alex calls, let him know. He tells Lushion, Marcie thinks something happened to Alex, and Lushion says, it’s a legit question. Brad thinks nothing happened, and Alex is just mad about the divorce papers. She knew the babysitter would call him. Lushion says, these things are difficult. Wait at the house until Alex gets home. He can call, and see if Alex picks up; the kids shouldn’t be home alone. Brad says, Marcie is there. He’s sorry he got Lushion out of bed, but Lushion says, no problem.
At home, Natalie wants to know what’s going on, and Lushion says she reminds him of Miss Ross. She asks, who’s that? and he says, she was an amazing woman. He thinks she liked her scotch, and she’d sit on the porch, saying, see you don’t come on the grass. Leave the cats alone. Natalie wonders what he’s talking about, and he asks why she’s always in somebody’s business. Why does she have to know everything? She says, it’s the middle of the night, there’s a knock at their door, and she’s not supposed to ask questions? He tells her, it was Brad, and she asks what Brad wanted. She knows this is Lushion’s way of trying to ignore her. She knows him, and he does this when there’s something she should know, and he doesn’t want her to. Like with the money in his account. What’s the situation with Brad? Or does she have to ask him herself? Lushion says, he was looking for Alex, and Natalie says, she’s not home? He says, if she was home, Brad wouldn’t be looking for her. She asks if he thinks something happened, but he says, no. She asks how he knows, and suggests calling Alex, but he says, it’s not necessary. She thinks they should ask Ian, but he says, it’s none of their business. She says, something could have happened, but he says Alex isn’t missing. She’s at Ian’s house. Natalie asks why she’d be there this late, and he says, they’re having sex. Natalie says, just tell her, without the condescending bullsh*t. He says he and Brad walked over to Ian’s, and he saw them through the window having sex. Natalie says, with each other? and I wonder who else she thought they’d be having sex with. She asks if Brad saw, but he says, no. She starts to leave, but he says, no; she’s not going over there. It’s none of their business. She wants to tell Alex to take her ass home, and he says he thought about that, or talking to Ian, but it’s not their business. He’s going to sleep. She says, okay, but Alex has lost her damn mind.
Eddie has a large Black cellmate, and Eddie says, keep looking at him. His cellmate says, don’t worry, he is. Eddie calls for the guard, and dude says, they come and go every fifteen minutes. Eddie says, oh, he can count to fifteen. He talks stupid, and Eddie is tired of hearing his mouth. Black people talk stupid. Dude comes up on him, and Eddie asks why he’s waiting, all gangster. Dude says, he’ll be patient, and Eddie says he’s going to sleep, and gets in the top bunk. Dude grabs him off of the bunk, and Eddie says he’s not scared of him. Dude punches him, and Eddie laughs. Dude calls Eddie a crazy MF’er, and Eddie says, it’s what he lives for. Dude keeps punching him, and a guard comes by. He asks what the hell dude is doing, and yanks him out of the cell. Kelly asks if dude hit Eddie for her. She hopes he beats Eddie’s ass. Eddie says, he’s alive and well, and she says, it’s a shame. He says, it’s the same thing she was saying about Travis, and she tells him, go to hell. He says he’s going to sleep. If she shut the hell up, it would be great. She starts to sing Amazing Grace, and Eddie says, He ain’t coming to save her. She says, when anything happens with God, it stirs the devil. Something bad is going to happen to him. He thanks her for the revelation, and she says it’s going to be the person he least expects. He calls her Harriet, and tells her to fire up the Underground Railroad, and get her ass to sleep. She says, mark her words, and he says, goodnight. She says she feels sorry for him, and he says her ass is going to burn in the electric chair.
Marcie looks on the laptop, and tells Brad, she can’t believe all these guys. He says don’t remind him. She says they need to chat. She thinks they both need to be tested. With Alex doing all that, how could he know? She’s never had anything. Brad says, neither has he, but she thinks they should be on the safe side. Brad agrees, and she says he should take Alex back to court. She’s getting half of his income, and she’s not even taking care of the kids. She’s taking advantage of him. He says this is making him angry, and she says, he’s about be more angry. He says, don’t tell him anything else, and she gets up. She says, the baby is crying. She’ll get him. They can’t let him cry. She goes upstairs.
Marcie holds the baby, and says she’s sorry he was born into this. He doesn’t deserve this. Here he is though. No matter what anyone says to him, remember he’s special. Brad comes in, and she hands him the baby, saying, sorry. She wipes her tears away, and says, he’s so innocent and helpless. Alex is like a factory, and has a good man in her life, but she’s whoring around. Brad tells her, try to calm down, and she says she hopes the bitch is trapped in a ditch, and dead. She’s ruined every life she touches, and her marriage. Brad says, she was unhappy, and he can’t blame her for everything. What they can do is try to get through this, and move on. She says she thought they had it figured out, but… She leans on him, and he puts his arm around her. She says, he’s a beautiful baby, and Brad agrees he is.
At the bar, Nurse Pat (I finally found out her name) tells Rick, the sun is coming up. Take her home, but don’t think he’s sleeping with her. He’s not coming near her. He says he’s not ready to go, and she says, they’re closing. She’s going to call an Uber, and he says, she’s just leaving him? She says, he’s too drunk to drive, and he says they live on the same street, but she says she’s not walking. He says, it’s three blocks, and she says she’s been on her feet all day. He says they were dancing, and she says that was more on her feet. He wants one for the road, but she says he doesn’t need anything else. He says he needs her, and she says he needs a flea bath. He says, now he’s a dog too? and she says, a ho is more like it. He asks if she’s not giving him any information, and she takes an envelope out of her purse. She hands it to him, saying it’s a typed letter; it’s all she knows. He opens it, and looks at it. He says, she signed it, and thanks her. He says she had this all the time? and she says she doesn’t like Kelly, but she feels sorry for her. It’s a sworn affidavit. He says, damn, and she made him do all this? She says she wanted to see how long he would go on. He thanks her again, and she asks if he’s ready to take her home. He says, no, but he’ll walk her to the Uber. She says he was just trying to sleep with her to get information, and he says he was going to take one for the team. She says he’s an ass, and he says, she’s sexy, and they leave.
Steven stops by Kelly’s cell, and she thanks him for calling Lushion. He asks how she’s holding up, and she says, okay, except for the ass next door. He says, sorry about that, and Eddie says, come on. He’s had his fun, putting that dude in there. He’s done with this game, and still pays Esperanza’s mortgage. He’ll stop by when he wants. He says, open the damn cell door, but Steven says, not yet. He still has to process the paperwork. Eddie tells him, do what he needs to, and get him out. Steven says, get comfortable, but Eddie says he’s not playing. When he gets out, it’s going to beat Steven’s ass. Kelly and I laugh, and Eddie calls her the wicked witch. Steven says, it looks like Eddie will be there a while.
Esperanza sees Steven at the copy machine. He says, it’s a great day, and she says she loves how incredibly optimistic he is. She’s thought about what he told her, and she’s going to see someone. She’s not using the insurance, since she doesn’t want anyone to think she’s crazy. He says, asking for help isn’t crazy, but do it her way. She says she’s also going to subpoena Eddie. She’s serving him now. Steven says, it’s about time. Stand her ground; he has her back. She says he’s really patient, and thanks him.
Larry is sleeping next to his partner in leather. His wife says, good morning. He knows the rules. He says he does, and apologizes. He tells leather guy to wake up and go home. He should have been gone. She says Larry knows their agreement, and he asks how her weekend was. She says, good, and he asks who she was with. She says, Allison, and he says, she’s fun. His wife says, she’s become too needy. They have to get her off the list; she’s more trouble than she’s worth. He tells her, if she says so. She asks if leather guy can get dressed slower, and Larry says, boss lady is here; go in the other room. He leaves, and she tells Larry, Allison told her something interesting. Something happened with the church, and he should talk to Ian. Something suspicious is going on, and he should look into it. He says he’ll check it out at the office. He says leather guy was pretty good, but not as good as her. Does she want to have some fun before he leaves? She says, it would be breaking another rule, and he says, her loss. She asks if leather guy needs to be paid, and Larry says, leather guy paid him. She says, maybe they should keep him around.
Rick is sleeping on the couch, and Pat tells him, get his ass up. Why is he at her place? Did they…? He says, yeah, and she says, damn. She looks around for a condom, and says if she doesn’t find a wrapper, she’ll shoot his ass. He says they didn’t use one, and tells her, he’s joking. They didn’t have sex. She tells him, quiet. She’s communicating with her vagina. He asks what it said, and she says, okay. Her vagina said they didn’t do anything. He’d better not tell anybody. Get his sh*t and go.
Natalie tells Lushion, he needs to pick the kids up; she has to go into work. He says he thinks it’s time she quit to be a stay-at-home mom. She says she’s been working all her life, and he says, maybe it’s time for her to stop. She says then she’d have to depend on him for everything. He asks if she doesn’t trust him, and she says, it’s not that. She doesn’t want to be waiting for him to bring home a check; it doesn’t feel right. He says, it needs to start feeling right. He thinks he wants another baby. She says they have three kids, plus another kid, Justice. Is he serious? He says he is, and she says she’ll think about it. He says, so that’s a no? but she says she didn’t say that. She needs to think about it. She promises she will, and says she loves him.
Rick is waiting outside for Lushion, who says he really needs to call first. Rick says he has to bring him this, and gives him the affidavit. He says, it’s from Pat, the nurse in the jail infirmary. Lushion looks at it, and says, good. She gave him up. With what Kelly has, it’s all going to come together. They’ve got him now, and have to make sure the DA gets him.
Eddie tells the guard to bring his rookie bald ass over there. Kelly hopes he rots in there. He says, screw her, and she calls him stupid. He says she killed a man in cold blood, and they have it on camera. He says she’s a fake-ass Christian, and she says he’s not getting under her skin. He says she’s a dumb bitch, and Steven appears, and says, leave her alone. Eddie says, let him out, but Steven says he’s been charged with driving under the influence. Wait until Eddie sees what he blew. Eddie laughs, and Steven says, not that. His blood alcohol level. And there were drugs in his system. Eddie says, Steven thinks he gives a damn? Steven says he doesn’t think the DEA is going to be happy to find out. Eddie says Steven set him up, and Steven says he set himself up. Eddie is sure this is Steven and Lushion’s grand plan; it’s gang up on Eddie day. Steven says, it’s going to be gang raped when Eddie goes to prison day, and Eddie says he’s got it all figured out. Steven tells Eddie, think what he wants, and Kelly asks if Lushion is in yet. Steven says Lushion is on his way, and Kelly asks him to have Lushion come and see her right away. Steven says he will, and leaves.
Larry sees Randal digging in the trash, and laughs. Randal asks if Larry thinks it’s funny, and Larry says, not at all. Randal says, that bastard knocked him off a ladder, and destroyed his house. Larry says, sorry. Is he okay? Randal says, he wants them, and Larry asks if he has proof. Randal says he knows in his gut, and Larry says he can’t take Randal’s gut to court. Randal says he has a hard drive, but his camera is busted. Larry says he can take it to a friend who can pull what’s on it. Randal thanks him, and Larry asks where the cameras are. Randal says, hidden, and Larry says he didn’t see them. Randal says, that’s the point, and Larry says, touché. He wonders if Randal has what they did to Eddie on video; he wouldn’t be opposed to seeing it again, but Randal says he doesn’t have cameras in the house. Larry says, a hard drive can even show things Randal thinks he erased, and Randal says, maybe he shouldn’t give it to Larry. Larry asks what he’s hiding, and Randal says, nothing. Larry says, he can’t sue without evidence, and Randal tells him, go to hell. He’ll give some kid the hard drive. Larry says Randal needs all the control, and starts to walk away. Randal says, when he gets the evidence, he wants Larry to sue them, and Larry says, Randal’s wish is his command.
Eddie sings Nobody Knows the Trouble I’ve Seen, and I nearly die laughing. Esperanza goes to Kelly’s cell, and asks how she is. Kelly says, girl, and Esperanza says she knows. Kelly asks if Esperanza has seen her son, and Esperanza says she hasn’t. Kelly asks if she can go see him, and Esperanza says she will. Kelly asks if Esperanza knows who’s next door, and Esperanza says that’s why she’s there; to serve him. Kelly says, it’s going be fun, but Esperanza says, no; it’s not, but she’s finally ready. Kelly says, when she gets out, she’s going to fight like hell to take control of her life. It’s going to be a new day. Travis did this to a lot of other women, and she’s getting out. She got weak, and wondered what the hell was wrong with her, feeling sorry for herself. She didn’t do anything wrong. Travis came after her, and taunted her. All she did was defend herself. Esperanza suggests she stop talking about it in there. There’s about to be hell. She moves on to Eddie’s cell, and he says speak of the trouble he’s seen, here’s the bitch at his cell door. How did she know he was there? She says, the whole station knows. She didn’t come to talk. He asks why she’s there, and she hands him the subpoena. She says she sent a registered copy to his boss, and filed it at the courthouse. Eddie says she and Steven did this; they set him up. She says, how? and he says they got him a DUI. She says, really? Did they make him drink or do drugs? He did this sh*t all by himself. It’s done. He says, it isn’t done, and she says, this conversation is done. He says, no; she’s done. He’s going to kill this bitch. He doesn’t care how many cameras are filming him. If she takes his little girl, the only thing he loves, he’s going to kill her. She says she thinks his performance is on tape, but he says he doesn’t care. Her blood is going to be on the street. She walks away, and she and Kelly grab hands as she walks past. Eddie says Kelly’s ass is going to the electric chair, and she says, after him. He says he’s got a DUI; she’s a murderer, and they’re going to fry her ass. He tries to reach into her cell, but can’t. He says he’s only there for three days; her ass is going to be in the electric chair. He tosses the subpoena out of the cell, and yells for someone to open the damn door.
Esperanza says, Steven was listening. He says maybe he overheard. She asks if he heard Eddie say he’s going to kill her, but he tells her not to worry. She asks how long they can keep him, and he says, not long enough, but it’s okay. She’ll be fine. They can go out later, and have some fun on the range. He’ll turn her into a sharpshooter.
Ian wakes up on the kitchen island next to Alex. He tells her to wake up. She sits up, and says, what the hell? Where is she? He says, in his house, and she looks around. She asks, what the hell is going on? and he says she overslept. She asks how she got there, and what is she doing there? He says, she doesn’t remember? She came over last night. She says, no; what’s going on? She didn’t want that. Ian says, she came over, and she was drinking a lot. She says, did he just… He says, hold on, and she says he drugged and raped her. He says, no; he didn’t.
Next time, Alex tells Brad she never wanted this, Larry says they have to talk to the DA about Travis, Ian asks what Alex last remembers, Eddie grabs the Bible from Kelly, and Ian tells Randal to watch himself.
💸 A Reprieve…
At least this year, I don’t have that stomach clutch that comes just before April 15th. Even though there are a whole group of new clutches to replace it. Stay safe, and be cool, honey bunny.
When we last left, Captain Lee told the crew he didn’t want to hear loud voices and slamming doors, and to get to bed, emphasizing his point by slamming the door. In his interview, he said they were acting like a-holes, and there was going to be hell to pay in the morning.
Kate cries, and Tanner gives Ashton a goodnight kiss. Kate tells Rhylee, they’re all so awful, and Rhylee says, everyone has a breaking point. In Rhylee’s interview, she says Kate has a hard exterior, but she’s still vulnerable. She knows how Kate feels. She’d rather have explosive diarrhea than work with these guys. Kate says, everybody hates everybody. In Kate’s interview, she says if this kind of behavior had been allowed when she started in yachting, she wouldn’t still be there. She’s over these misogynist a-holes. If they want to make her the bad guy, she can play that game.
Ashton says, there was drama last night. In his interview, Captain Lee says, it’s been an extremely tough season. They’ve had injuries, people quitting, and personality issues. The crew are acting like children. He’s pissed, and he’s not putting up with it. He calls everyone to the main salon. Kate tells Courtney that it was a nightmare hearing four males saying her name and laughing. She asked what they were talking about, and it was a delightful conversation.
The captain tells the crew, what happened last night is past. He doesn’t give a flying about that. All he cares about going forward, is the next charter. If anyone feels they can’t get along, they can pack their effing bags and leave. If anyone thinks they’re safe because it’s charter nine, and he won’t fire someone mid-charter, they don’t know him. Even the crickets are quiet. He tells them, that being said, he doesn’t see anyone getting up to leave, so go to work. He says, it’s only two and a half days. He can eat a sh*t sandwich every second for two and a half days. And if he can do it, they can.
Ashton has meeting with Tanner and Brian, not waiting for Rhylee. In Ashton’s interview, he says his first season as bosun wasn’t easy. He got dumped with Rhylee’s sh*t, and wants to stay as far away as possible. Kate calls to schedule massage therapists for the guests. Provisions arrive, including flower crowns. Jemele Hill is the primary, and the stews discuss her working for ESPN. Kate thinks it’s going to be fun; the best charter ever. Kate sits on the dock having a smoke, and messing with her phone. Tanner asks if she wants to make a sex tape, and she tells him to let it happen organically. In her interview, she tells us, he said it, so it can’t happen today.
Rhylee tells Brian that she’s happy to see that he and Courtney are good, but he says they’re not good again. In her interview, Courtney says Brian isn’t ready emotionally. He looks at everything like she’s being disloyal. She’s more than willing to have a constructive conversation, but calling her out on everything she doesn’t agree with him on isn’t acceptable. Kevin asks Kate if she remembers when he wasn’t allowed in the pantry, and she says he is now. In his interview, he says, one more charter. He can do this. Just hold it together.
Courtney asks Brian if he’d like a chat, since he was mad at her again. He says she was sticking up for Kate, and stormed off, affecting everything. Both Courtney and I are wondering if he’s on the same boat. She says that didn’t happen. She was crying, and he walked past her to the van. He says it’s his fault again. In his interview, he says, loyalty is a big thing in his life. He and his friends all came from broken homes, and all they had was friendship. It’s disappointing that Courtney doesn’t have his back. He tells her, it’s the last charter, and he’s effing done. He can’t be a nice guy all the time. He calls her bru, and I want to smack him. She starts crying in the galley, and Kevin hugs her. Brian tells Tanner, he hates this boat. Courtney was upset and crying last night. Now she’s crying again, and he feels like an idiot. Kate hugs Courtney as she cries some more.
Brian complains to Tanner and Ashton about Courtney pointing her finger at him all the time. It’s always about what he did, and never anything she did. In Courtney’s interview, she says she doesn’t want to be in a relationship where she has to walk on eggshells to accommodate the other person. She doesn’t want to waste time on people who aren’t worthy. The captain says the guests are arriving in five minutes. Kate says, everyone in the crew is cracking. She asks Captain Lee if he ever wants to throw up and smile at the same time. The guests arrive, Kate distributes the flower crowns, and Simone passes out champagne. The captain welcomes everyone, Kate gives the tour, and the luggage is brought on board. The Valor heads out for the last time.
One of Jemele’s friends tells Kate that Jemele just got engaged, and gives her a big sign and balloons to hang. In Kate’s interview, she says the guests requested a 90s bachelorette party, and she loves the 90s. She went to a lot of ska shows and smoked a lot of pot. She loves these guests so much. In Kevin’s interview, he says, it’s the last charter, and he’s super excited. He wants to give the guests top level service, and knock their socks off with something special. While Brian and Ashton eat in the galley, Rhylee takes her food to her cabin. Brian says, it’s a shame, Ashton smiles, and I want to smack them both. In Simone’s interview, she says Jemele is an inspiration, and the guests are kick ass. Thank you, charter gods. Kevin sings, and Courtney opens more champagne. Jemele tells Simone to blink twice if the chef’s not that good. The guests make a toast, and lunch is served. Jemele wants to feel the love in the food when she tastes it. The guests agree the lunch is everything.
Kate tells Kevin that regardless of whether she’s on service, she still wants to know all the elements of the meal. Kevin says she’s never around, and calls her an effing weirdo. The boat coasts into Koh Nok, and Jemele says lunch was perfect, and they’d like dinner at 9. The jet skis are put out, and Tanner and Ashton help take the guests out. Jemele tells her friends that she has a stern observation about Kate’s coolness. She thinks they’re getting on Kate’s nerves. Another guest says Kate is just doing her job. When Kate asks if they need anything, Jemele tells Kate to promise not to cuss her out, and asks if they annoyed her. It seems like they’re getting on her nerves. Kate says she’s sorry they feel that way. In Kate’s interview, she says she feels like she’s in the Twilight Zone. Jemele is acting like Dean. We flash back to primary Dean basically calling Kate a bitch a million seasons ago. She says they’re in Thailand on a yacht. Look elsewhere for satisfaction besides her face. Kate insists they didn’t get on her nerves, and Jemele says they will. Kate says, challenge accepted.
Jemele says she’s never had a dude buy hair for her, and another guest says, just ask for the money, and wherever it lands, it lands. Kate tells Rhylee what Jemele said to her, and Rhylee asks if she’s sure Jemele just didn’t wonder if they’re being too demanding. Kate says, there hasn’t been enough interaction for them to make a judgement. Jemele tells Simone that she’s the first girl of color they’ve seen in a yacht crew, and says some encouraging words. Simone tells Kevin, the guests are amazing. Kate tells Rhylee, the guests are a-holes. As he cooks, Kevin sings, it smells like heaven, or should I say Kevin? In his interview, Kevin says he’s wrapping snapper in banana leaves with some local mango for the finale, and making a banging chocolate/peanut butter tart. Kate tells Courtney that the guests weren’t getting on her nerves, but they are now. In Simone’s interview, she says now that Jemele is putting Kate on the spot, she loves her. The guests play Never Have I Ever, which I think is the Dumbest Game Ever.
Kate calls the deckhands to help set up the bachelorette party. In Kate’s interview, she says she’s normally not super enthusiastic to throw a party for guests who are annoying, but since they’ll be getting d*cks shoved in their faces, she is. She is that cocky. (BA-DUM-CHH!) Rhylee blows up balloons, and one blows back at her. The guests get ready for the party. In Courtney’s interview, she says she loves the 90s; The Spice Girls, Tamagotchi. She was five, but she loved it.
The guests dance and drink. Jemele says she’s going through an awkward transition, and calls Kate over. In Kate’s interview, she says Jemele is looking for reasons to get mad at her, but surprise! Jemele apologizes, saying, early on, she got the wrong impression, and judged Kate prematurely. Kate asks if she’s having a great time. Jemele says she is, and Kate says that’s all she wants to know. In her interview, Kate says she loves an apology. She’s been called bitch this season more times than she’s been called Kate, but a bitch recognizes another bitch, and she thinks respect is happening. The guests go to bed, and Courtney cleans up the decorations.
I hate the dudes’ alarm clock because it sounds exactly like mine, and always startles me. The boat moves on, and hungover guests toddle out the next morning. One of Jemele’s friends says when Jemele is drunk, she gets turnt up. Tanner tells Brian, it feels like the last day of school, senior year. He’s still hopeful about Kate, and wants to see if she comes to him. Ashton tells Rhylee to drop the hook, and ready the anchor. Jemele tells the others that she woke up naked, but alone. They agree it was a great night, and Jemele asks for a shot of bourbon for breakfast. Kevin says he’s nervous about the d*ck tonight. The guests requested an erotic cake, and he’s never made a freestanding c*ck.
Kate tells the guests that they’ll be getting massages on the beach, and lunch at 12:30. Kevin wants the food served in Pyrex dishes, and Kate tries to explain they have a lot of sh*t to carry, and she has to lift and serve it. He calls her a d*ck, and in her interview, she says she’s sick and tired of every word out of his mouth. We flash back to some of the many times Kevin was an a-hole throughout the season. She says she’s being called a d*ck over casserole dishes. She has a gift for creative revenge that she only uses when she’s really angry. Congratulations. He’s made her really angry.
Rhylee feels like she’s being paid to take a break all season. In his interview, Ashton says he’s been doing things on Rhylee’s terms. Up to this point, he’s made an effort to do things differently to suit her, but he feels defeated. He wonders what he has to do to satisfy her. She’s a junior deckhand with so much to say. Kevin tells Simone there’s a lot of drama with the crew, so he’s happy the guests aren’t a-holes. Simone says Kate is the worst human she’s had to work with. Kevin likes how Simone stays out of it, and Simone says, it pisses Kate off when she doesn’t react, so that’s why she doesn’t. In Kevin’s interview, he says on the other boats he’s worked, the chef and chief stew try to get along, making an effort for both of them to shine, but there’s no trust between him and Kate. She doesn’t have his back, and it’s sad.
Tanner and Ashton set up the canopies on the beach, while Kate decorates. Simone and Brian bring the guests over. In Ashton’s interview, he says beach picnics are normally a pita, but they found an incredible gem of a beach. He can’t think of a better way to finish the season. It is really beautiful; a little cove shaded by trees. Kate greets the guests with welcome shots. The masseuses are there, and the guests take turns getting massages. Lunch is served, and one of them says it’s their favorite meal so far. In the galley, Tanner tells Kevin, eggs are gross. Kevin says, they are, but they’re cool. Huh? Kevin designs his cake, and Tanner suggests putting Betty Cocker on it. Ha-ha-ha! In Kevin’s interview, he says, this is harder than he expected, and we both laugh at his pun. On the beach, the guests are finishing with lunch. A lantern blows away, and Simone chases it.
The guests go back to the boat, and the beach stuff is taken back down. Rhylee meets the guests with towels, while Courtney has popsicles. Simone tells Kevin that the food was great. Kevin ices his cake, and Kate says his d*ck cake is amazing. She wonders if it takes one to make one. Brian and Courtney eat lunch in silence. In his interview, Brian wishes things were back to normal with Courtney. He hates drama and awkwardness, and wants to sort it out.
Kate tells the captain that it’s windy, and asks if there’s any chance of it dying down, but he says, it doesn’t appear so. In Kevin’s interview, he says the guests are lovely people, and he wants to go the extra mile for them. Captain Lee joins the guests for dinner. In Kate’s interview, she says, primaries who have a shot of whiskey for breakfast usually don’t make it to dinner and dessert. Kevin makes balls, and says he’s getting more and more into it. He’s going to make the best goddam c*ck cake he can. He wants to finish on a high note. The stews take pictures of the cake. Jemele says she needs a nap. In Kate’s interview, she says, it’s perfect. Kevin put a lot of effort into the cake, and Jemele went to bed. He’s been a d*ck this whole season. She’s acted like a bitch, but she is a bitch. She’s been hiding it, but now the bitch is woke, and there’s no going back. The captain says he’s never going to retire. If he does, he might as well lay down and have someone shovel dirt on him. He wants to do something for kids who need it, and he’s been doing a lot of charity work.
Kate puts a sparkler on top of the cake. Kevin is excited to show the cake to Jemele, and wants the guests to be super happy. He put in a lot of love into it. Captain Lee says, doing something useful with your life keeps you alive a lot longer. Kevin comes in with the cake, and one of the guests says, here they were having such a grown-up conversation, and then a penis came into the room. In Kate’s interview, she says her spirit animal is karma, and she’s a bitch. She always comes to people who deserve it. Who’s the d*ck now? Kevin asks where Jemele is, and he’s told she went to bed. The captain says he’s not taking a bite of that.
Next time – the season finale – Kevin says Kate made an evil bitch move, Ashton tells Rhylee they’re different people and that’s okay (gag), the odds look like they’re in Tanner’s favor, Brian doesn’t want to end on a bad note with Courtney, and Captain Lee says, no sailor ever learned anything in calm seas.
📺 AMC’s The Walking Dead will return on February 23rd, along with 90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days on TLC.
💍 Well, roll me up and call me curly. I’d thought the relationship between Anna and Mursel was over on 90 Day Fiancé (TO), which I wrote about on Friday. To my surprise, on Sunday’s episode, he owned up to lying to his parents, and they relented, saying he could marry Anna. To top it off, the government allowed him to return to the US again on the same visa. The wrench in the works is, he’ll only have six hours left on the visa by the time he gets to the US, and they have to get married in that time. Good luck with that.
What I Watched - TV With Theresa 