What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

A huge crate comes into the warehouse, and a guy we’ll just call Mr. P tells a guard to bring in the others, but Sonny says, not yet. Last time he did something for Pikeman, he was ambushed at his own warehouse. Let’s talk about that.

Somewhere in Greenland. Obrecht looks at some slides, and Victor comes in, since he won’t let her work in peace. I’m not sure how he expects anyone to get anything done when he’s interrupting them all the time. He asks her to give him some good news, and she says, the antigen is sound. He asks why she doesn’t sound more upbeat about it, and she says, the antidote is uncertain and you won’t stop bugging my ass. Without it, those he has marked for survival may perish. A significant roadblock, no? He says, that’s the thing about roadblocks. You just have to find your way around them, and he has complete faith she can do just that. She says she can find workarounds, but these things take time. He says, that’s the one thing none of them have, especially not her great niece Willow.

Outside, a guard says, let’s go back, and the other says, sounds good to him. As they’re about to leave, the phone Valentin dropped starts to ring, and one guard asks if the other heard that. Valentin pops out from behind the rock, and they tell him, don’t move.

Martin meets Nina at the MetroCourt, and she thanks him for coming straight from the airport. How is his mom? He says, his mom is high-spirited and happy, and thanks her for asking. He just wishes he could say the same thing as for his sister. Nina says, she must be going through it. Nina also has someone she loves trapped on the Haunted Star, and it’s been non-stop fear. Martin says, Laura hasn’t answered any of his calls today. He’s going over to her place after they take care of business. That being said, what was so important that Nina had to see him the minute he landed? She says she asked him to inform the SEC about Carly and Drew’s insider trading, and he says, what of it? She says she needs him to call it off.

Carly goes back to the Quartermaine mansion, and Michael lets her in. She hugs him, and says she feels awful for ruining Willow’s big night. He says he and Willow are married; tonight is far from ruined. Besides, it’s not her fault; it’s Ned’s fault. She asks if Ned actually admitted turning them in, and Michael says, of course (🍷) not, but if it wasn’t Ned, who would have gone to the SEC?

Martin tells Nina that the SEC isn’t Wyndham’s. They don’t have a return policy on criminal behavior. She says, that’s what she figured, but she thought she’d ask, and he says, now it’s his turn. What’s with the second thoughts? She says, there are just some things she hadn’t fully considered with regard to potential fallout. He says, that might be, but he’s sorry. This is a done deal. She says, this could be a lot of worrying for nothing. There’s no guarantee the SEC is going to act on the anonymous tip that he left anytime soon, or at all. He says, actually, he thinks she’ll find the government has exceeded their expectations. He got a call from a friend of his about Carly. She was there at the police station tonight, being interviewed by the SEC.

Mr. P says, Pikeman was alarmed and dismayed to hear about the attempt on Sonny’s life, and they want to assure him, they’d never be party… Sonny says he knows Pikeman wasn’t behind the shooter. He confirmed their lack of involvement. Brick says, the shooter was untraceable. No fingerprints or DNA in any database. Mr. P says, so a professional, and Brick says, of a specific kind. He’s had military training, probably special ops. Sonny says, that’s not the kind of personnel he deals with, which leads him to believe he was just a means to an end. So whoever tried to kill him, did it to screw with Pikeman.

Anna says, Jordan is going to run interference for them long enough to keep the WSB at bay, and Holly says, Robert should be here any minute to help them hammer this out. The WSB absolutely cannot find out that Victor may be about to deploy a biological weapon on the world. Scotty walks in and says, that’s not their decision to make.

A guard asks, who else is here with Valentin? but Valentin says he’s here alone. The guard asks who he is, and he says he’s Valentin Cassadine. He’s here to see his father.

Holly says she doesn’t know what Scotty thinks he heard, and Scotty says, she seems to have made a miraculous recovery for someone who was burned up in a fire. There’s no scars or anything. If the two of them think they’re going to sacrifice his girlfriend, they’ve got another guess coming. Robert comes in, and tells them, keep it down. He could hear them all the way down the hall. Scotty asks if Robert is in cahoots with them as well, and Anna says, Scotty is operating under the misapprehension that they don’t want Liesl rescued. Robert says, as usual, Scotty has it all backward, and Scotty says, does he? He overheard Drew a while ago, talking about how Robert is withholding some information… Anna asks how long he’s been listening in, and Holly says, Jordan just left ten minutes ago. Anna says, he hasn’t done anything, has he? and Robert says, please tell him that Scotty hasn’t made contact with the WSB.

Obrecht tells Victor, don’t dare threaten Willow. Willow is her family, her great niece. She needs Obrecht’s help. Victor says he’s not threatening anyone; he’s just stating facts. The longer it takes her to prove the efficacy of the antidote, the less time her niece has to undergo a lifesaving procedure. She asks if she has his word he’ll release her if she completes the project (like his word means something), and he says, there’s only one way to find out. Do her job. A guard tells Victor that someone claiming to be his son is on the island, and Victor says he wants to speak to them. The guard radios that Victor wants to speak to the intruder, and Valentin says, hello, dad. Victor says, bring him here. Now.

Scotty says, news flash for Robert. After Ashford left, what he did or didn’t do is none of Robert’s business. Anna says, whether Scotty believes them or not, they’re all working toward the same outcome. So he needs to tell them if he relayed any information he heard to the WSB. Scotty says he doesn’t think they’re all working for the same outcome, but just to be on the level with them, he hasn’t said anything to anybody… yet. Anna says, he does understand people’s lives are at stake, and he says, how dare she say that to him? Liesl’s being held by a madman who wants to burn down the world. Robert says, they’re all working hard… Scotty says, at what? They have information that they could pass along to the WSB, and they can take out Victor. Now they’ve got the Commissioner working for them. None of this makes any sense to him. Holly slips out of the room, and Scotty says, Liesl’s done some pretty horrible things in her day, but he won’t let her be collateral damage for Anna and Robert. Anna tells him, just listen… but he says, save it. Because you know what? If they don’t tell the WSB, he sure as hell will.

Nina asks if Martin is telling her that Carly was officially questioned. She’s kind of shocked that the SEC acts so quickly. Martin says, so is he (me too!). Turns out the government is flat-footed and backlogged in everything but insider trading. That, and alimony payments. Just miss a couple of those suckers, and see what happens. Then again, it probably has more to do with his herd of ex-wives than it does with the government. Nina asks, what’s next with Carly and Drew? and Martin says, doubtless, Carly will face some sort of investigation, as will Drew. He’s sorry. At this point, it’s in the attorney’s hands. Now if there’s nothing else he can do for her, he’d like to go visit his sister. She thanks him, and he says he understands she’s worried, but there’s no point in second-guessing anything. She didn’t incite Drew or Carly to do anything. If there was insider trading, they did it themselves. All she did was report it. He says, goodnight, and leaves.

Michael brings Carly into the living room, and Willow says, they were so worried about her. Carly says she’s sorry the whole situation with the SEC overshadowed Willow’s wedding, but Willow says, the wedding was over. She’s just glad the police didn’t hold Carly longer, and that Drew is safe. Carly says, Sonny showed up and told the SEC that Drew was on a plane to Maui, and it did buy them some time. She’s no fan of Sonny’s, but she’s grateful he showed up when he did. Willow says, as far as she’s concerned, that’s proof they’re still important to him, and Carly looks at Michael. That’s right, Michael. Put Sonny away, and there will be no more stepping in to help when you need a weird favor.

Sonny tells Mr. P, seems to him, someone had a vested interest in preventing the shipment. So he has to wonder if that has something to do with what’s in the cargo. Mr. P says, that was a third party trying to stop them. He doesn’t see why the contents of the shipment is relevant. Sonny says, somebody tried to take his life. Mr. P doesn’t think that’s relevant? He had the assumption they were shipping weapons. Now he’s beginning to think they’re moving something bigger than guns. Mr. P says, they were under the impression Sonny wanted to minimize his involvement. Provide storage and facilitate shipping only. Sonny says, his impression’s wrong, and Mr. P signals to his man who picks up a crowbar, and opens the crate. Lousy spy Dex looks at the camera he hid. Brick moves some of the packing material around, and says, what the…? He tells Sonny, these are some of the world’s most powerful explosives, and Sonny asks, how powerful? Brick says, one brick could take out an entire city block. He steps aside with Sonny, and tells him, that stuff is in high demand. It’s very hard to get. People like it because it’s malleable and waterproof, and a little goes a long, long way. The US military keeps it under tight control; real tight. Sonny tells Mr. P, if this is the cargo they’re sending through his docks, he’s surprised more people didn’t take shots at it, and Mr. P tells Sonny, what can he say? Great rewards come with high risks. Sonny asks what fortune cookie he got that from says, this is something he’s not understanding. He feels like he’s taking all the risks.

Carly says, putting aside her situation with Sonny, she knows he’s worried about both of them, and Michael says he thinks the most important thing right now is to bring Liesl home safe and sound so she can be a bone marrow donor for Willow. And Drew is the one making that happen; not his dad. Willow says, Sonny decoyed the SEC to give Drew time to go after Liesl, you moron. Doesn’t that count for something?

Mr. P says, in regard to what’s in the crates, that information is tightly controlled. Leaks are very rare, and when they occur, those involved are dealt with swiftly. Are they going forward or not? Sonny adjusts his tie and says, Pikeman can use his docks this time, but not again. Not until they renegotiate the deal. By renegotiating the deal, he means he wants information on who’s behind the ambush. Mr. P says, understood, and tells his men to close the crate. Sonny thanks Brick for taking care of the Drew situation, and Brick says, his pleasure. Sonny asks if Brick can take care of the rest here. Nina’s waiting for him, and Obrecht’s missing. Brick says he’s got Sonny, and Sonny says he appreciates it. He tells Mr. P that his associate will take charge of the shipment from here, and calls Dex over. He says, Dex just needs to make sure the cash exchange goes smoothly. We see the camera recording them.

Victor snatches the walkie from his guard, and says, once they’ve brought him his son, check on their guests they left aboard the Haunted Star. Obrecht says, what an intriguing turn of events. But of course (🍷) he’s the man who thinks of everything. She’s sure he thought of his son showing up. He tells a guard to conduct a thorough search. There’s no way his son came here alone.

The guards move Valentin along, and behind the rock, Curtis says, there’s only one way to tell if it’s safe for them to move. He draws his gun, and comes out, Drew motioning for Laura to stay put.

Robert says, they can’t have Scotty rushing off to the WSB with what he just heard, but Scotty says, he doesn’t need their permission. Anna says, he has to understand, they have their reasons, and he says he’s all ears. She says, first of all, they don’t have incontrovertible proof, and he says he thinks he’ll just give the WSB a little call, taking out his phone. Anna says, if he makes that call… when Holly suddenly puts a cloth over Scotty’s mouth and nose, and he passes out. Holly smiles.

Mr. P hands Brick a briefcase, and says, it’s all in there. Brick says, they’re going to count it to be sure, and passes it to Dex. Dex opens the case, and Mr. P says, the last thing Pikeman would do is cheat Mr. Corinthos. They’re hoping this is the beginning of what will be a profitable relationship. Brick says, that will be up to Mr. Corinthos, and Mr. P says, deals this profitable aren’t easy to come by. Mr. Corinthos will find his affiliation with Pikeman will be life changing.

Michael says he sees Sonny is making an effort, but that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be held accountable for his actions in the past. Carly asks if they can’t just focus on the future, or try to, and Michael asks, what happened at the police station? Carly says she knows the government has frozen Aurora’s accounts and assets, and Michael says, damn it, Ned. Although he shouldn’t be surprised Ned’s games impacted the family business. What he can never forgive is Ned hurting Carly and Drew in the process. Willow asks if he really believes Ned would hurt them this way. He’s always been so kind. Michael says, Ned is a Quartermaine. He always puts ELQ ahead of everything else. He gets that it’s hard for Willow to see that; she always sees the best in everybody. She says, not always.

Nina walks into Pizzulo’s, and tells Kevin that Sonny’s expecting her.  He opens Sonny’s office door, and she goes in. She and Sonny kiss, and Sonny says, sorry to call her down here, but he needed to talk to someone. She says, tell her about the wedding, but he says he’s not going to. He doesn’t want her to be sad, but she says she wants to hear about it. How was Willow? He says, she looked beautiful, a vision, and Nina says she knew Willow would be. Everything wasn’t too much for her? He says, she did great. Nina should have seen the kids. She says she’s sure Wiley was very handsome. How did Donna and Avery do as flower girls? He says, terrible… Just kidding. She should have seen Baby Amelia; she had this pretty little dress on. He took pictures like she wanted. She thanks him, and says she’s glad Willow had a perfect day. He says, it wasn’t quite perfect, and she says, it was too much for Willow, wasn’t it? What happened? He says, no. Some agent from the SEC hauled Carly into the PCPD for colluding with Drew on insider trading. Nina flashes back to being on the phone with Martin, and saying she hasn’t changed her mind; just the opposite. She wants him to go all out and expose Drew and Carly for insider trading. She says, it happened at the wedding? and Sonny says, the good news is, they only held her a few hours. She asks if he thinks that’s the end of it, but he says, no, not for Carly or for Drew. The SEC is trying to find him now. She asks if Drew wasn’t at the wedding, and Sonny says, she hasn’t heard yet?

Curtis comes back, and says, the coast is clear. There’s no sign of any other guards. He thinks the best plan is to head to the Haunted Star. Laura says, but they don’t know how many guards Victor has on that ship, or scouring the rest of the island. They have to assume Victor knows Valentin didn’t come to the island by himself. Drew says he can go with Curtis to get everyone off that boat, and Curtis says he thinks the two-man approach is probably best. Drew asks if Curtis wants him to get Victor’s attention, and keep it off the Haunted Star, and Curtis says, exactly. Does he have any idea how to gain entry into the bunker? Laura says she knows how. (Of course <🍷> she does.) They give Victor exactly what he’s looking for – Valentin’s accomplice.

Robert gently settles Scotty into a chair, and asks Holly, sweetie pie, what have you done? She says she neutralized the threat; temporarily anyway. Anna says she thought she was getting through to him, but Holly says, he was literally dialing the phone to the WSB. They couldn’t take that chance. He’s got tunnel vison. He would literally do anything to save Obrecht. And doesn’t the Bureau strongly recommend against forming attachments? He says, that’s a rather cold calculation, and she thanks him. Anna asks how long he’ll be out, and Holly says, for a few hours. Then he’ll come around with a devil of a migraine. Anna says she’s concerned that Laura and the rest of the crew have no idea what Victor is actually planning, and Robert says, along with everyone else on that island. Holly says, which is why they have to get on the next flight to Greenland. Robert says he’s ready within the hour, and Anna says she’s ready now, hopping out of bed.

Laura says, Drew captures her and holds her prisoner, and gains entry by delivering her to Victor. Drew says, she’s here to rescue her grandsons. He can’t put her at Victor’s mercy, especially when he doesn’t have any. She says, he’s right, and she’s not going to rest until her grandsons are safe, and he’s not getting past those guards without her. Curtis says, he and Laura have been friends a long time; they’ve trusted each other with their lives. Trusting him with her life is one thing; trusting he can rescue her grandkids is another. He promises her, he won’t leave the Haunted Star without them. He’d rather die before he’d let anything happen to Trina or her boys. She says she believes that. So she’ll go with Drew, and keep Victor busy. They hear radio static coming toward them.

Robert asks what Anna is doing, and she says, taking care of business. It’s what she does. He says, it’s what they all do, what they’re best at, but she’s recuperating and has nothing to prove. She says she believes she has a score to settle with Victor, and he says, she’s one stubborn woman. Holly tells him, she would say brave, but she does have to ask. Is Anna sure she’s up for this? Anna says she has to see it through, and Robert asks if this is because of Valentin. Is this guy really worth the risk? Anna tells him, stop talking, and looks around for her clothes. She finds the bag with her stuff, and Robert asks, what about Scotty? Holly says, he’ll be unconscious for some time. He says, then he’ll just go home, pack a bag, and… Don’t even think it. Anna says, he has to stay here, and not just because there’s an unconscious man in her room, and Holly says she’s with Anna. If the WSB gets wind of what they’re doing, he can buy some time. And he can keep them posted on what’s happening in Port Charles. He says, it’s not that he doesn’t have faith in them – he does – but this is probably the most dangerous mission they’ve ever embarked on. Anna and Holly go on either side of him, each taking an arm, and walk him to the door. Holly says, she and Anna were both married to him, and they’ll survive. She gently pushes him into the hallway, and closes the door. She and Anna fist bump.

Victor tells Obrecht to get back to work, and she says, what’s the point? Valentin found him. It’s only a matter of time before others do too. He says, all the more reason to expedite her work, and she says, time is not the only impediment here. The stabilizers and some stuff I don’t understand are all insufficient. He says, in layman’s terms, what’s going on? and she says, in order to make this work, she needs preservatives, single dose vials. Otherwise, the antidote could be easily contaminated. He says, precisely why he has her here. He knows she can get past these problems. She says, even if she could solve the preservative problem, this endeavor of his is reckless, futile, doomed. He says he seems to recall her saying this could be a crowning scientific achievement, and she says, scientifically speaking, she still does, but it’s time to retreat, regroup. He says, if he stops the process now, who knows how long this will set him back. She says, he’s made a valiant effort. His brilliant plan just can’t come to fruition under these circumstances. He says he supposes she’s right. He just has to reevaluate part of his plan. She says, good, and thanks him for listening to her, but he says he hasn’t been bested. Not by his son or by any doubt. He still holds all the cards, including her.

Sonny says, there’s a possible location on Nina’s Aunt Liesl, and she asks where Victor took Obrecht. He says he can’t say, because he doesn’t know, but what he does know is, Drew went out to find her. That’s why he was missing from the wedding. He went out to find Nina’s aunt. He’s going to bring her home and save Willow’s life. Don’t worry about it. He threw the SEC off the scent. He got Brick to make Drew’s name appear on a manifest for a flight going from San Diego to Maui. They won’t know he’s not there until he doesn’t get off the plane. She says, but that’s just a temporary dodge. Eventually, the SEC will find out it’s a false lead, and be back on Drew’s trail. What if the SEC finds Drew before he can bring Aunt Liesl home? What does that mean for Willow? I’d say, there’s no way they’re going to Greenland, but since they show up on an anonymous tip before you hang up the phone, who knows?

Carly tells Willow, it’s all her fault. Drew did everything he could to discourage her from investing in Aurora, but she wouldn’t listen. Michael did too, but she was so determined to support them. Now look. It all came back to bite her. She lost her hotel, there’s an SEC investigation, Aurora’s assets have been frozen… Michael says, let’s forget about that. It can be dealt with later. He thinks they should call it a night. Carly says, of course (🍷). She agrees. She suggests she walk Willow to the gatehouse while Michael wraps things up here, and Willow asks Michael to find her bouquet. She wants to put it in water, and make it last a few more days. Carly tells him to make sure he gets the top of the wedding cake. They have to put it the freezer at the gatehouse, so they can eat it on their first wedding anniversary. True story. We did that, but since our freezer was so small, my in-laws kept it in theirs. The day before our anniversary, my husband went to pick it up, and his brother had eaten it the previous day, not knowing what it was. FYI, frozen cake does not taste that great after a year.

The guards come around to the rock again, when Laura comes limping out, wailing for help. They ask what she’s doing here, and she thanks them, saying, she needs help. She limps to them, and before they realize it, locks arms with the both of them, and says, now boys. Curtis and Drew rush the guards.

Brick takes the briefcase, and tells Dex that he can find his own way back. He goes to the door, turns around, and says, words of advice if Dex wants to stay in this business. Outside of Sonny, trust nobody. Dex says, not even him? and Brick says, especially not him, and leaves. Dex flashes back to hiding the camera when Brick was talking to Sonny on the phone.

Sonny tells Nina, Drew’s a smart guy. He’s sure Drew’s taken every precaution in covering his tracks. She says, but the government is resourceful. Drew is missing. Won’t that intensify everything? He says, probably so, and she says, this could interrupt the rescue mission; make it impossible for Drew to bring Aunt Liesl home. And Aunt Liesl is Willow’s last chance. Again I ask, why aren’t they actively looking for another donor? Sonny tells her, take it easy. He’s going to do everything he can to make sure Drew’s mission is successful. She thanks him, and says, surely the SEC has bigger fish to fry than Carly and Drew. He says he doesn’t know about that, and don’t call him Shirley. From his experience, the government prioritizes its money. He doesn’t know who tipped off the SEC, but they’re not only hurting Carly and Drew, they’re hurting Willow.

Carly brings in the wheelchair, and Willow says she never thought she’d get to the point she couldn’t walk to the gatehouse. Carly says, it’s been a long day for Willow, helping her into the chair, and Willow says, for Carly too, and not in a good way. Carly says, Diane’s an amazing lawyer. She’ll get it all figured out. Willow asks how she can be so sure, and Carly says she knows if they stick together as a family, they can make it through anything. They join hands.

Dex gets the camera, turns it off, and says, gotcha. He takes out his phone, and leaves the warehouse.

Michael’s phone dings, and he says, Dex. He sees a money and camera emoji, and flashes back to telling Dex, so Sonny draws the line at drugs, but is willing to ship weapons of war. Dex says, there’s only two reasons people want to ship under the cloak of darkness. Either what they’re shipping is dirty, or what they’re moving is being supplied to dirty people. This deal is extremely lucrative for Sonny, but extremely dicey. Michael says, this is how they bring Sonny down.

Holly lets Robert back in the room, and he says, Anna is in no shape to go charging off to Greenland. She says, perhaps he’s right, but she feels that they’re all in for a world of hurt if Victor’s plan is successful. Holly says, sorry to leave him with this mess, and he says he’s been cleaning up messes for the both of them for years now. He’s highly experienced at it. Anna says, and they love him for it. She and Holly kiss Robert on the cheek, and he smiles. They leave, and Scotty mumbles in his sleep.

Laura waits behind the rock, when Curtis and Drew come back dressed in the guards’ uniforms. Laura says, very convincing, and Curtis says he is going to bring them home safely. All of them. She says she knows he will. Good luck. He jets, and Drew asks if Laura is absolutely sure she wants to do this. She can still wait by the seaplane until he gives the all-clear. She says she knows he wants to protect her, but he can’t get past those guards without her. And once they get inside… they’ll think of something. He has to trust that she knows what she’s doing. He says, okay. Let’s do this. She says, from this point on, she’s his prisoner, and he ties her wrists in front. They head for the bunker, Drew following Laura with his gun drawn.

Victor says he’s sure it fits with Obrecht’s agenda for him to give up now, but his plan is moving ahead. He just has to speed up the timetable. She says, there’s no way to know if the antidote is viable without testing it on a human subject, and he says, that’s the plan. She says she refuses to use Spencer or Trina as her test subjects. She won’t risk cutting short a young, innocent life. He asks if she’d have qualms about using a more mature subject. Someone who’s decidedly less innocent. Valentin is brought in, and Victor says, perfect timing, son.

The text says, In Loving Memory of Nneka Garland, and we see photos.

Tomorrow, Dex asks Josslyn how Drew managed to avoid the SEC; Robert asks Elizabeth to trust him; and Valentin tells Victor to end this madness.

Below Deck Sailing Yacht

2^nd day of charter. In Colin’s interview, he says, Chase has a good work ethic, but in Gary’s interview, he says, Chase thinks he knows more than he does. There’s no way in hell he’d talk back to a superior that way. He’s been working on boats for 12 years. Shut it and listen to him. He tells Chase, the boat looks good, and asks Glenn if they’ll be sailing, but Glenn says, there’s not much breeze in the forecast. Glenn tells primary Kim that they’re not getting any wind, so there won’t be much sailing, and she says she understands. He suggests taking them out in the tender, and setting up the rope swing. Breakfast is served, and there’s smoked salmon eggs benedict that makes me want to cry. In Daisy’s interview, she says, the negative feedback makes her feel like she’s sh*t at her job. So she’s taking the opportunity to train the stews as much as she can, and make sure Glenn stays the f*** off her back. Ileisha ordered eel for making sushi, and realizes she’s received a live one. In her interview, she says, they’re like the snakes of the ocean, and freak her out. Growing up in the bush, a python once came through the window, and wrapped itself around the bath. She screamed for help, and her dad had to chop its head off. She was traumatized. Colin cuts the head off, and Lucy screams. She says, it’s horrible, and in the meantime on deck, Kim is saying, this is the most incredible experience.  

The guests go swimming, and Daisy tells the stews to do the cabins. Gary finds that the eFoils (kind of like surfboards) haven’t been charged, and whines about things not being done. Chase asks if one of the stews can come on the tender to pour drinks for the guests, but Gary says he’s sure Chase can go by himself. Lucy tells Glenn that Daisy is sleeping, and she’s not making the call, so Glenn says he’ll make the call. He’s sending her with Chase. In Chase’s interview, he says, thank God he’s self-. The guests are expecting a certain standard. If this was his first time working on a boat and he needed to be taught, considering Gary’s leadership style, he’d be f***ed. When Daisy wakes up, Mads tells her that Lucy went on the tender, but fails to mention Glenn is the one who sent her. Colin and Gary get the eFoils going and ride them out to the tender, and when Daisy sees them, she gets doubly pissed off. In her interview, she says, the boys can f*** around, but the girls have to be with the guests at all times. She’s fuming.

The guests come back, and Lucy explains that Glenn told her to go. Glenn curses the fact there’s no wind, and Chase tells Mads that he’d like to get with Mads. Gary tells the guests that they’ll set up the rope swing for after lunch, and Lucy tells Mads about Chase. Mads says, that’s literally not happening, and in her interview, she says, it was one kiss bro; relax. It’s not that she’s not interested, but there are a lot of other guys on the boat, and she’s sure there are other options. She loves samples. In Alex’s interview, he says he typically dates models with daddy issues, and it hasn’t gone extremely well. Mads is new for him. She’s not high maintenance. Maybe it’s time to break the mold. Ileisha is running late, and in Daisy’s interview, she says, Ileisha is feeling the pressure, since she’s a little late with service, but the guests are so lovely, she doesn’t think they really care… which she’s grateful for. When I see the lunch chef has prepared, I’d willingly wait for it too. Anchor is home, and Daisy tells Ileisha that the guests very happy. The boat moves along, and Glenn asks Colin how the engine is doing. Colin says, it’s purring, and Gary tells Chase to take a break, but Chase says he’s got to set up the rope swing. Gary thinks it’s going to be a long season, and in his interview, he says, it doesn’t seem like anything he tells Chase matters. Daisy complains to Gary about Lucy leaving the boat, and in Gary’s interview, he says, it’s easier licking Daisy’s ass than disagreeing with her. He’s just going to tell her what she wants to hear.  They anchor at Grande Pervero, and Chase falls asleep in the crew mess. In Ileisha’s interview, she says she’s doing a bourbon tasting menu, and it’s best to serve something soft, smoky, salty with a heavy liquor. She’s making southern comfort food, and plans on knocking it out of the park with her presentation. Guest Justin (Guarini) tells the others to tell his children that he loves them before going on the rope swing. I have to say, he looks good; a lot better than when he was on American Idol. Guest Kelly lets go too early, and wails that she hurt her right boob.

Daisy says, they’re doing the table in orange and brown, and eww! Gary with his hair out of the man bun is worse than in the man bun. As far as I’m concerned, there are only two men in the world allowed to have man buns; Sensei Guillermo Gomez and Roger Howarth. Daisy tells Gary that he smells of tea tree and his fly is open. He asks why she’s looking. Primary Ian says, the attention to detail is amazing, and in the galley, Ileisha frets over the lamb being overcooked. She says, there’s always something. She can never do everything right. Glenn tells her not to let it get to her; she’s doing great, and he thinks it will be fine. Ian realizes they left a mess of clothes on the floor, and jets to the cabin to pick everything up, but Mads and Lucy already have it done. He says he came down to clean up their mess, and Lucy says, that’s their job. He says, it wasn’t intended, and reminds me of another true story. Someone broke a glass at my wedding reception, so I went back into the kitchen to get a broom to sweep it up. The caterers were like, um… that’s not your job. Kim says she’s warm, fuzzy, and happy inside, and Glenn tells Ileisha that it’s okay to be a perfectionist, but don’t let it break her flow. In Ileisha’s interview, she says she’s a people pleaser, and thinks it comes from her upbringing. She has survivor’s guilt because her mom lost two kids. It was ingrained in her to be the best version of herself, and puts pressure on herself to make sure people are really full and happy. Alex goes on anchor watch, and it starts to thunder. The wind picks up around 1 am, and Alex says, sh*t’s about to get weird. The wind is up to 15 knots by 2 am, there’s lightning, and things are rocking.

Glenn comes out to check what’s happening, and Alex says, there was no wind. He went out to put on the covers, and it suddenly came up. In Gary’s interview, he says, Alex has done everything right so far, but Glenn is quick to react after last season’s anchor drag. He thinks if Colin farted, Glenn would jump out of bed and run to the bridge. Glenn tells Alex to keep a close eye on it, and call him if there’s anything over 20 knots. Another amazing breakfast is served, and I think about the leftover Chinese food I had for dinner. the guests don’t want to leave, and Ian says he saw some cupboards they could hide in. Gary gets picky about something else with Chase, and says, it’s all about being prepared. In Chase’s interview, he says he can’t catch a break with Gary, who’s just looking for a reason to be upset, and in Gary’s interview, he says, Chase is trying to piss him off. The boat is docked, and Glenn radios the crew to say goodbye to the guests. Ian says, he can’t even express what an amazing adventure they’ve been given, and Kim says, they were blown away about the kindness they lead with. She gives Glenn the tip envelope, and says, it’s an honor to give them this. As they leave, Glenn blows the horn and everyone waves. Glenn tells the crew, well done. Daisy tells the stews, the more we get done today, the more we do tomorrow [sic]. I think she might be a little off, and the drinking hasn’t even started. Gary says, he came late, so he’s just being a fly on the wall when they go out. He asks who Colin has his eye on now that he’s single, and in Colin’s interview, he says, Gary’s had it easy for the last two seasons. The girls were fighting over him. For the first time, he has a little competition. Gary says he doesn’t cause drama; drama tends to find him. Ugh. He’s such an a-hole.

At the tip meeting, Glenn says, what a charter. A complete 180 from the first one. He tells Daisy that she did a good job; service was on point. It seems her team found their groove. She says she’s happy with the teamwork and communication, and in her interview, she says she’s elevated by the positive feedback. It’s what they needed, and she’s one step closer to a margarita. Glenn says, they’re good attitude makes a difference, and commends Colin on getting the engine running. He tells Ileisha that it’s not easy doing a meal like the bourbon tasting. Her food has been delicious, and she’s doing a great job. He’s glad Gary is back; it made a big difference. Gary says he’s happy with his team, Alex says he learned a lot, and Glenn says, there’s a reason they have a first officer. The tip is $23K, or 2250 euros each. In Ileisha’s interview, she says, yes and yes. She’ll take that sh*t. You’re welcome. They work for a hot minute, and Gary gets on the radio, saying, this is your captain speaking. It’s time to get f***ed up. The crew changes, and goes to an Italian restaurant. A few of them step away for a smoke, and Ileisha asks who Gary is crushing on. He says, everyone, and Ileisha asks who Chase’s type is – say it. After some poking and prodding, he admits it’s Mads. At the table, Alex says he spent 45 minutes getting ready, and Lucy says, he spends more time on his hair than she does. Gary comes back, and tells Lucy that red is her color. She tells him, f*** off, but Chase senses crying himself to sleep. In his interview, he says, f***ing Gary. He just admitted he liked Mads. He knows a snake when he sees a snake, and Gary is kind of an a-hole. Kind of?

Gary tries to kiss Daisy, but she’s not having it. In her interview, she says, she can’t read Gary. She sees how he behaves with her, and he does the same thing with every single girl. We flash back to Gary putting the moves on pretty much every stew he’s worked with, and Daisy says, it’s hard to take him seriously. Gary says, they can’t have that conversation when alcohol is involved, and the crew goes back to the boat. They get in the hot tub, and Mads tells Gary, touch her, and she’ll  knock his man bun out. Chase sits by himself for a while, then gets out of the jacuzzi and goes to bed. Mads and Gary are left with a falling asleep Alex, and Gary tells him that he’s going to drown. Somehow, Alex manages to get out of the tub, and toddles off. Gary says he thinks Mads is gorgeous. He tells her that both Chase and Alex said they liked her, but at the end of the day, they’re just deckhands, like he’s a huge step up. They kiss, Alex falls asleep as he’s eating in the crew mess, and everyone else is snoring.  

Next time, charter three; high school d-bag vibes; in Daisy’s interview, she says she thinks Gary is f***ing with her; and a guest has an accident.

Summer House

Help. I’m watching this nonsense and I can’t turn away.

During the week, Lindsay meets with Gabby, and in Gabby’s interview, she says, when it comes to her type, it’s better for her to show than tell. She’s made a pdf of men who are possibilities, men she’s slept with, men she wants to sleep with, the ones she’s dated and matched with, and men she’s thought about. Boys for Gabby. Lindsay says, they’re all male models, but Gabby says, some of them have jobs. Ciara meets Rachel at a restaurant, and in her interview, she says she’s throwing a party for herself. She’s been in NYC a year, and thinks this Georgia peach is trying hard to become an apple. NYC has helped her come into adulthood, whether she wanted to or not. She tells Rachel that now when she leaves the city, she can’t wait to get back. I know this feeling. It’s like, ah, the not-so-sweet smell of the subway; I’m home. In her interview, Ciara says, it was hard to leave her friends in Atlanta. Her friends have been the light in her situation, and continue to shine. She needs quality friendships, and in NYC, you can have surface level bullsh*t. Ciara tells Rachel that Chris met Cassidy at a party, and fell off the face of the earth, but he’s supposed to come. I’m guessing Ciara must do okay with being on this show, since I don’t think her nursing salary paid to rent this space. The housemates trickle in, and in Lindsay’s interview, she says, it sucks being in a bad place with Danielle. There’s no reasoning with her. Their versions of being a friend are very different. Carl says he invited Cassidy, and Chris says he did too, but she’s ghosting him. He asked her to text him when she got home, but she didn’t, and he’s not playing that game. Carl says he can run interference, and Kyle says, what he lacks in height, he makes up for in volume. Paige tells Ciara that not everyone can move to NYC, and Craig asks how the dating is going, and she says she’s figuring it out. He says he would never leave his house. People in NYC go on dates with people they don’t know. Ciara says, that’s how dating works, and in Paige’s interview, she says, in South Carolina, everyone knows each other, and they’ve all dated. In NYC, a random man could be the love of your life. She doesn’t know if Craig can vibe in NYC; he might be scared. Yeah he might. Once when I went to a family party in Ohio, one of my young cousins pointed at me and said, she takes the subway at night. Carl tells Kyle and Chris that he picked up the ring; it’s exciting and surreal. Ciara asks everyone to gather around, and says she hates giving speeches. She thanks them for coming, and says, it means so much. She gets teary, and says she loves them. They’ve changed her life, and made NYC feel like home. She can’t wait for the next years. This committed bitch ain’t leaving. In her interview, she says, she’s also committing to herself and her journey. She’s figuring out who she is and fixing what needs to be fixed. She’s down for whatever ride God put her on. She opens a bottle of champagne.

On the way to the Hamptons, Kyle tells Andrea that there’s no Ciara or Amanda this weekend. Andrea says his girlfriend Lexi is coming, but he’s sad Amanda won’t be there. Kyle says, she was very torn, but the dogs got spayed two days ago. Andrea says, she’s doing her mommy job, and getting ready for the real thing. Kyle says he got a call from Lindsay that Carl was in the hospital last night. He calls her, and she says, they went to a concert, and he had his arms around her from behind. He suddenly said he needed to sit, and grabbed her. His legs were wobbling, and he said he couldn’t feel them. She got him to the infirmary, and they said his blood pressure and heart rate were so low, they were sending him the ER. He was discharged two hours ago, and now he’s napping. In Kyle’s interview, he says, Carl texted him from the hospital, and thought it was too much caffeine and Red Bull, but he thinks there are other things going on. Been there, done that. We flash back to Kyle sweating it out before he proposed to Amanda, and he says, Carl knows the proposal is upon them, he fainted, and now he’s in the hospital  freaking out. Lindsay says, they’ll either be there later tonight or first thing in the morning. Kyle tells her, no pressure, and in his interview, he says, only he and Chris know. He’s trying bottle this secret as best he can.

In Danielle’s interview, she says, tonight was inspired by Chris. They’re having Latino night. She’s making empanadas like her mom does, and when you make food close to home, it’s like offering a piece of yourself. In Paige’s interview, she says, no one on the planet doesn’t get excited when Andrea shows up. You don’t know what he’s saying, but he smiles and he’s good looking. She’s glad he’s in love; she hates seeing him cry. It’s against their religion for him to cry. Kyle relays the message about Carl going to the hospital and the drinking commences. Chris is now seeing Lauran, who Mya says she’s been trying to introduce him to since Kyle’s party. Mya demands to know the rating of their sexual encounter, and does a drumroll. Chris says, it was an eight, and everyone cheers.  Sam says, it’s a good number for a first time. Chris says, Danielle is making badass empanadas, and then they’re going to teach everyone to salsa. In Sam’s interview, she says, she and Kory have officially gone below the neck. She didn’t get the ick (I assume this is some immature way of saying she didn’t get laid), but she wants to do it again. Kyle calls Carl, and asks how much he thinks nerves, anxiety, and stress had to do with him ending up in the hospital. Carl says, it was a big part. He’s trying to pull off the surprise of the century. Then he’s bringing in Lindsay’s parents and friends. Kyle says, tomorrow is the big day, and Carl says he thinks some rest will make it better. He had to get it out of his system before getting down on one knee.

Sam says Danielle has outdone herself; everything looks beautiful. Danielle thanks Chris for helping, and has everyone hold up their empanadas for her mom. They do, and Danielle takes a photo. She says she’s enjoyed the summer with Chris there. He brought her Hispanic side out. She hasn’t really shared that, and pushed down that part of her persona because she wanted to succeed. Being in finance, she was around white people, and Gabby says she can identify. She grew up around white people and people of color who weren’t interested in Black girls. She thought she could only be attractive to someone who had a predilection for Black girls. Mya says she always claimed she was an acquired taste, and Danielle says, it’s taken a while to celebrate that side of her and not repress it. Chris says he feels her, and when they met, he felt she was his hermana, his sister. They had a connection. Danielle says she’s happy when the group has these moments, when they do stuff together. Family is about sharing. In Danielle’s interview, she says she feels for the first time in a long time she’s been heard. She’s being her true self, not her Hamptons self; Danielle Rivera, Puerto Rican. They move to another room, and Chris teaches them to salsa. Kyle tells Chris that he talked to Carl, and he looks good. The day before he proposed to Amanda, he was feverish, and recognizes this. Chris asks if he thinks Carl is having second thoughts, but Kyle says he doesn’t think so. Although he thinks Carl would love for Lindsay to be on good terms with her best friend. It’s weighing on him.

In the morning, despite everyone looking like they’re hella hung over, Kory and Kyle go to the gym. Mya says she wants to make the house an all-inclusive resort. She wants to do a boozy brunch. Carl and Lindsay arrive, and there are lots of hugs for Carl. He says he feels rested and better. It was a combination of dehydration, exhaustion, and stress. Lindsay tells the story again, and in Carl’s interview, he says he panic attacked himself into the hospital. Another reminder of how beautiful Lindsay is, is that she slept with him the entire time. And she doesn’t know what’s about to happen. On a whiteboard, Mya writes, Myadani Bottomless Brunch, and in Paige’s interview, she says, if there’s a whiteboard around, Mya will use it. Andrea’s girlfriend Lexi comes in next, and Kyle says, they have a bonfire planned for later, and the attire is elevated chic. For whatever stupid reason, Andrea says he wants to be roasted, and they ask a bunch of inappropriate sex questions. Chris asks what it’s like having Lexi here with Paige at the table.

Lexi says, it’s not like she doesn’t know they slept together, and Paige says, it was a fling, and she never wants Lexi to feel uncomfortable. Have brunch manners. Sam says she’s going to make out with Kory, and Gabby says she loves new love. Lexi talks with Lindsay and Carl, and asks how long they’ve known each other, and Lindsay says, since summer 2017. Lexi asks if there was always an attraction, and Carl says, for sure, and we flash back to Carl saying, she’s like a sister. Lindsay asks how Lexi felt when Andrea was trying win her back, and Lexi says she blocked him, but literally every weekend, she would run into him. He’d pour his heart out, so she decided to give him a chance. She starts to get weepy, and says, it was harsh of her to do to someone she loved so much. Andrea says, it was intense, and Lexi says she’s happy they found their way back to each other. Andrea says, it was his fault, and I hope these two are a good influence on the babies in the house. I know. It’s asking a lot. Mya asks, what’s going on with Sam and Kory? and Sam says, they’ve talked about liking each other in a cute way, but they haven’t talked about what happens after the summer. Have they considered passing notes in the hallway? Mya says, in the grand scheme is where it gets complicated. Carl and Lindsay are going to get firewood, but not really. In Carl’s interview, he says, his plan is perfect. Lindsay thinks they’re getting firewood, but she’s going to realize quickly they’re not doing a fire. He can’t wait for this to be over; it’s stressful. Kyle tells him to knock it out of the park.

Lindsay and Carl head for the beach, and at the house, Mya asks Sam if she wants to be exclusive, and Sam says she’d be so in it. Mya says she thinks Carl is going to propose next weekend, and Danielle asks if she’s talking out of her ass. Mya says she listens to every conversation, and infers things. She saw him talking to Kyle and Chris at Ciara’s party, and thinks he’s planning the engagement for next weekend. Danielle says, then she’d rather not come next weekend, and they can live f***ing happily ever after. Alrighty then.

Carl leads Lindsay to a spot on the beach where there’s a blanket spread out for an upscale picnic. Carl says, they haven’t had a chance to break away from the group and do something special. She asks if she should sit, but he tells her to stand for now, and gets down on one knee. He says, since the day they met seven years ago, he knew she’d be someone special in his life. She’s his person, his best friend, and his lover. He’s excited to build a future with her. She says she loves him so much, and he asks her to marry him. She says, a thousand times yes, and there are kisses and I love yous. He puts the ring on her finger, and I wonder if they keep forgetting each other’s name, since they only seem to call each other babe.

Next time, Paige feels that she gets notoriously the most drunk on Labor Day weekend; Sam asks Kory what he’d like the plan to be; Gabby goes on a date; Danielle gets upset about Carl not telling her about the pending proposal; and Carl doesn’t want a camera following him.

🤸🏾 Tra-La It’s May…

Stop by tomorrow for soap and those awful New Jersey Housewives. Until then, stay safe, stay never forgetting where you came from, and stay remembering your brunch manners.