Tag Archives: General Hospital

Dec9

December 8, 2015 — Port Charles & Beverly Hills

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Lulu is putting up Christmas decorations at the Haunted Star while listening to death metal. Maxie comes in and says she’ll untangle the lights. Lulu suggests that when she gets them untangled, she strangle Valerie with them. That gets my vote.

Bobbie asks Valerie what’s up. She’s been sneaking in and out to avoid everyone. Bobbie invites Valerie out to dinner. Hopefully on the docks where someone can push her into the water.

Nathan is meeting Maxie at Kelly’s, but Dante is also meeting Valerie there. Nathan suggests Dante change his venue since he won’t have any peace with Maxie if the two of them are there. Nathan reminds Dante about fraternization. Dante says what’s the big deal about having dinner with a friend? Nathan tries to give him good advice, but Dante is such a jerk, he doesn’t get it.

Nicolas tells Hayden he wants to love her but doesn’t think he can. He says he knows what she’s up to and tries to smother her. Ha-ha! It’s all a dream. They always get me with those.

The ten thousand roses arrive at Patrick’s. Emma makes a joke that the next time her dad buys her flowers, she’d prefer a different kind.

Sam tells Elizabeth to tell Jason how she’s been playing God with his life. Jason tells Sam to accept reality and calm down. She tells Elizabeth to tell the truth and Elizabeth says okay, but not with her there. Oh yeah, I’d totally trust that.

Commercial break. It’s that Ferraro Rocher time of year. Bring it on! My God, I love those candies.

Bobbie says she’s no one to throw stones and she knows Valerie will have a hard time with the first holidays without her mother. I don’t want to feel sorry for Valerie, but I know what that feels like and it’s not pleasant.

Maxie tells Lulu they’re adults and revenge isn’t the solution. She says it will just make things worse. Maybe she should let the rest of Port Charles in on that.

Sam is like yeah, right, you’ll tell the truth as long as I’m not here. She tells Elizabeth she’s no better than Hayden and goes off on her. When she gets to the word “bitch,” Jason gets loud. Please, someone hit this guy on the head and bring his memory back.

Nicholas comes in to the now-awake Hayden’s room. She says she’s afraid of her feelings for him, and he says he’s on to her, just like in the dream. He says she’s been lying about going to ELQ meetings. She says yes, she lied, but he might not like the answer.

Jason tells Sam he’s done with her and “this.” Sam asks what if he’s wrong. He says he doesn’t care and to get out. Sam tells Elizabeth to do the right thing while she can and leaves.

Emma is going to a sleepover so Patrick can get romantic with Sam. She says tomorrow they can start getting ready for the wedding. I don’t know about that…

Valerie says she wanted Dante and Lulu’s marriage to work out, but even though Dante apologized to no end, Lulu gave him separation papers. Bobbie says the distance between separation and divorces is like the distance between Florida and Alaska. She tells Valerie to be careful. She’s concerned that Valerie is taking shelter from her grief with the wrong guy.

Lulu asks how things could get worse and Maxie suggests she think about how things can get better. Lulu says Valerie falling off the face of the earth would make it better. Maxie says Rocco might be affected if Lulu does something stupid. She says Valerie doesn’t matter and Lulu and Dante need to fix things. She leaves to meet Nathan for dinner.

Nathan says he’s going to have to work and has to cancel his plans with Maxie. He begs Dante to stop seeing Valerie until he knows what he really wants.

Alone at the Haunted Star, Lulu hears someone. She has a giant candy cane in her hand and calls out that she’s armed. Who walks in but Johnny, and he says oh, look out, she’s armed with a candy cane.

Hayden says what she told Nicholas about downsizing ELQ is true, but she’s been working with a consultant outside of the office. She shows him a folder with her plans on how ELQ can save money. She says if they lay off a third of the employees, they can increase their profit margin. Ho-ho-ho! Merry Christmas!

Valerie and Dante are at Kelly’s, which has suddenly replaced The Floating Rib as the place to be. Dante says he needs to tell her something, but she wants to go first. She says her feelings for him have grown stronger and she needs to know if he’s going to get back with Lulu.

Maxie comes to the station. She says she needs five minutes of his time. And she brought him some ribs from Kelly’s. Come on now, wouldn’t The Floating Rib be the place to get ribs?

Lulu tells Johnny that he’s a wanted man. He says he doubts he’s very important. He knows she and Dante split up and says he saw it coming.

Elizabeth says thanks for defending her. Jason says he came from an argument with Carly and couldn’t deal with any more. Elizabeth says he knows she doesn’t have anything to hide, right?

Sam comes home to Patrick. She tells him that she was at Elizabeth’s. He says he thought she was past that and she says she did do, but apparently not. She says that she just wants to see it through, but Patrick says she needs to do better than that.

Elizabeth says that Sam is just jealous. Jason asks what it was that Sam says she’s lying about, but she says she doesn’t want to dignify it with an answer. Jason ponders that.

Hayden says she clearly remembers why she broke the vase and it wasn’t because she was jealous of Elizabeth. She knows she was blackmailing Nicholas. She asks why he lied to her.

Dante says that right now he’s being selfish and wants to be with Valerie. He asks if she can handle an uncertain future. Oh I see. He wants to try and work things out with Lulu, but have Valerie just in case it doesn’t work out. Nice guy.

Johnny reminds Lulu of how Dante wanted her to get rid of the Haunted Star when he found out Johnny owned half. He says that their problem has always been that Dante didn’t trust her. Johnny says he’s sorry about what happened. Lulu starts to cry and Johnny hugs her. In a friend way.

Johnny and Lulu have a couple of shots, but Lulu says any more will just make her get sentimental and feel worse. Johnny asks what he can do for her. She says get rid of Valerie. Johnny asks if she wants him to kill Valerie.

I wish he would. Dante is going on and on about not facing up to his responsibilities and just wants to be in the moment with Valerie. She says she’s okay with the uncertainty as long as it means being with him for a while, even if it won’t be forever. These two are ridiculous.

Nicholas says he lied to protect Hayden. She says once she realized, she never said a word to anyone about Jason’s real identity, so why won’t he trust her? He tells her about Britt. Hayden says she had the same problem with her ex-husband, and when she came to town, she just wanted to take it out on everyone. Nicholas wants to get it on, but she says she can’t move forward unless the relationship is based on trust.

Patrick starts wigging out about Sam basing her accusation on what Jake said. He gets a little out of control and does a table flip like he’s on Real Housewives.

Jason says he doesn’t believe Elizabeth is a lying manipulator like Hayden. Man, has he got a lot to learn; she could teach Hayden a thing or two. Elizabeth says she wants to be with the man he is now. They say I love yous and I gag. Elizabeth goes upstairs, but the look on Jason’s face tells me he’s not totally buying that she’s telling the truth.

Hayden tells Nicholas that her dreams are a metaphor for Nicholas getting past her defenses. He says he thinks they’re both in trouble.

Nathan finally finishes work and goes into the interrogation room to find Maxie asleep.

Lulu says she wants Johnny to get rid of Valerie, but not kill her. She says she wants Valerie to go out of their lives and never come back. He says he’ll handle it, but the less she knows the better. I can’t wait to see what he has planned.

The two idiots Valerie and Dante come to the conclusion that maybe they shouldn’t be seen together where everyone else from the station hangs out.

Elizabeth comes downstairs to find Jason gone.

Sam says she’s totally committed to Patrick and is moving forward with the divorce, but Jason still has a right to know the truth. Patrick says it’s over, and goes to leave. Jason is at the door. Patrick leaves and Jason comes in. He apologizes to Sam. He says she’s been nothing but kind and he’s sorry. He says now that he’s more rational, he wants to know what’s going on. Sam tells him that Elizabeth knew for months who he really is.

Tomorrow, more truths from Sam.

Just a note to those who would perpetrate dastardly deeds. I’d rather you didn’t , but if you’re going to, please make it after 4 pm. Kay? Thanks.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Kyle and family are going overseas for a vacation, ending with Nicky Hilton’s wedding at Kensington Palace in Kensington Gardens. Lisa and Ken are coming along for the ride.

Giggy! And Lisa’s closet! Lisa is trying to find something for Kyle to wear at the wedding. I’ve seen Kyle’s closet too, so I’m not getting this.

LisaR is showing off her birthday earrings from Harry. They’re simple round diamond drops set in silver and I love them too. Lisa is having Facetime with her parents. She says she’s able to cope with them getting older and in not such great health by living in the moment. Her mom gives us all TMI about her dad. LisaR signs off by saying she hopes his penis feels better. ♫ La-La-La! ♫

Kyle tells Lisa she’s not going to the wedding anymore. She says she was told it would be better if she didn’t come. She tells Lisa not to bring the dress, but I’ll bet Lisa does anyway. It sounds as if there’s some dispute about Kyle doing the new TV show based on her life, so I guess Kathy is being an idiot. What a shame.

We haven’t seen Yolanda yet, but just for the record, I’m hating on David Foster. What a freaking creep he is to divorce her when she’s so ill and she’s been so supportive of him. Typical though. It’s like when a woman works to put her husband through school, and then when it’s her turn, he books. I hope the next one takes him for everything he’s got and pawns his Grammys.

Eileen and Vince go to Palm Springs where Dick Van Patten has a star on their walk of fame. Eileen had recently lost her sister as well. Her sister had cancer, but had not told anyone she was in the final stage of life, and ended up dying in Eileen’s arms at the hospital. This makes me want to call my sister, who had a stroke last year.

LisaR is meeting LisaV for lunch. LisaR says she likes to be around sparkly things and LisaV sparkles. LisaR talks about going to Dick Van Patten’s memorial. She says he was beloved by everyone and it’s been very difficult for the family.

LisaV says that Ken is going to be 70 soon and she wants to do something special. She’s found the smallest horse in the world in Ohio. The owner is willing to sell it and LisaV wants LisaR to come with her to pick it up. She also wants LisaR and Kyle to help care for it until Ken’s birthday, but the horse likes to sleep in bed with people. It is pretty cute and probably not any bigger than a large dog.

Yolanda is at the oral surgeon. She’s had all her old fillings taken out and replaced with gold crowns, but themetal levels in her blood are still high. So she’s having the crowns tested for what metals are in them and has brought an analysis of her blood work for the surgeon to look at.

I feel so badly for Yolanda. And now I feel even worse because that beast, David, shows up. (The show was taped ages ago, so he’s still pretending to be supportive.)

Yolanda starts to choke and David says it’s the numbing in the back of her throat that’s causing her to think she can’t breathe. When I think about it, it makes sense. David the Cretin jokes about how soon they can have sex.

Boom! We’re in Italy! Kyle and her family have chartered a yacht. It’s not Captain Lee though. As always, the food looks fabulous. Kyle says she never vacationed as a child; she only traveled for work. I’m quite sure this trip alone makes up for it.

Lisa and Ken arrive.  The countryside is absolutely beautiful. Lisa says it’s a different sensibility in Europe. Lisa says she’s glad to be away from the restaurant. I’ll bet.

Kyle and Mauricio have rented a villa. Is there any other way? Mauricio has also rented a Ferrari and is driving to the villa with one of the kids, while Kyle gets there in a van. Mauricio gets lost, so Ken and Lisa arrive before he does. The car keeps telling him to make a U-turn. Of course he doesn’t want to admit that he doesn’t know what he’s doing. What is it with men and not asking for directions? Bible teacher Joyce Meyer says that’s why it took the Israelites 40 years to make an 11 day trip. Ha-ha! Yep. I’ve been a passenger in that car too.

Mauricio tells his daughter that had her mom been in the car, it would have been so not fun for him. They finally get to the villa, and immediately hit the pool. Kyle and Lisa are going to take the car and go exploring. Kyle says it’s nice to be away from all the family drama with Kim.

Back in Beverly Hills, LisaR and Eileen stop by to visit Yolanda. Yolanda’s aide, Daisy, answers the door. They see Yolanda’s medicine cabinet, which is really a linen closet, and there’s a mind-boggling array of stuff. Eileen says it’s like when her sister had cancer. The girls get together with Yolanda in the living room. Yolanda says she can’t remember what it’s like to be normal. She talks about parasites that she had removed and they were quite long. She tells them about having her teeth removed. Eileen says it’s real flashback to her sister trying everything to fight for her life.

After they leave, LisaR says she feels a deep sadness and darkness in seeing a young woman not being able to live her life. She says it seems like she’s succumbed to it and accepted it. Truth be told, she really isn’t looking too good.

Kyle and LisaV are strolling around the grounds with Margaritas, and Kyle says it’s like walking in a painting. Lisa tells Kyle about Yolanda having her teeth taken out. Kyle says she’d asked her doctor about that and he said it can open you up to more problems. Lisa says she believes Yolanda thinks it’s more than Lyme disease and is stabbing in the dark. Kyle says when her mother died of cancer, she suddenly felt like she had weird symptoms and spent a lot of time trying to figure out what it was. Is she intimating that Yolanda is maybe not sick?

Everyone sits down to an enormous dinner at the villa. Ken says he’s getting so old, Lisa should start looking around now for a replacement. She asks why he didn’t tell her that when she was on Dancing with the Stars?

Kyle says she’s going to the wedding now, but Lisa says she didn’t bring the dress because Kyle told her not to. (Okay, I was wrong on that one.) I don’t see why she just can’t buy something new anyway. Mauricio says he’s not going, two of the daughters are in the wedding, and the other kids aren’t going. Huh? Lisa talks about the roller coaster that’s going on with Kathy pulling the strings, but Kyle doesn’t want to talk about it in front of the kids. It just sounds weird. It’s probably not just rich people weird either. Weddings and funerals bring out the worst in people.

Lisa says as her friend, she hates to see Kyle putting her all into relationships only to be manipulated and devastated. In her individual interview, Kyle says there’s been tension in her family and that’s why Mauricio isn’t going. And kids aren’t invited, except for the ones in the wedding party. Lisa says none of it makes sense and she thinks Kyle should detach herself. She says she doesn’t want to overstep her bounds, and one of the daughters says can we please not talk about it now.

Next week, shopping in Europe! And we finally get to meet new housewife Erica – and the tiny horse. Also, a lot of people diving into a pool with their clothes on.

Thought for the day: It must be a lot of responsibility being Joan Collins.

Dec8

December 7, 2015 –GH, Pump & a Little Longoria

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Without wasting any time, ABC breaks in with news that could easily wait until 4 o’clock.

When we finally return, Patrick is talking with Epiphany about Sam. He says, logically, she gets what’s going on and that Jason just doesn’t remember their life together, but in her heart, it’s hard for her to accept. Epiphany says he has to give it time.

Carly is still pressuring Jason about seeking his memory. She says no matter what, she loves him and he says, ditto, but get off his back. She says he keeps having flashes of memories, so he shouldn’t give up. She also says he still has the same instincts. He says she’s still his closest friend, but when he found out he was Jason, nothing happened. He says he wants to move on with Elizabeth, but Carly isn’t receptive to that idea.

Sam tells Elizabeth that Jake told him about the secret between her and Laura. She says Elizabeth saw Jason struggle to find answers, but did nothing. Elizabeth says that’s not true, but Sam says Laura confirmed it. Yep. It’s that old trick of telling them you know already to get them to say what they know.

Anna is at the docks where she lives now. Mac shows up and says that he was able to get Sloane’s computer and phone records. He says the last text was to her and after that, messages were picked up, but not responded to. He asks her to tell him what she knows. She says she thinks Sloan is dead. She tells him about dialing the number on the back of his business card, and that when she dialed, Paul picked up the phone.

Paul is checking out Sloane’s apartment. The super shows up and Paul says that he’s investigating the tenant from the apartment, and that the apartment was recently broken into. He asks if the super saw anyone and he says he thinks so.

Sonny is questioning Ava as to whether she knows gun importer Raj. Sonny says he deals with military weapons and everyone he deals with is on the NSA list. He says she’s jeopardizing Avery’s life. Ava says she would never do that. Sonny tells her she’s headed for prison or death, and he doesn’t want Avery exposed to it.

Jason tells Carly to quit bullying Elizabeth. Carly says Elizabeth is manipulating him and using his gratitude against him. He says he loves Elizabeth. Carly says if he does, that’s fine, but he needs to start trusting his instincts. He tells her again to lay off Elizabeth.

Elizabeth tells Sam she’s full of it. Sam says she can see fear in Elizabeth’s eyes, and she saw it on Cassadine Island too. She says Elizabeth is worse than Helena (which I totally agree with), because Helena never pretended. She says Elizabeth stole Jason’s life from him, Danny and everyone else who loves him. She says Elizabeth knew who he was the entire time and to stop lying. Elizabeth says Sam is lying – to herself.

Ava says Sonny can waste her time with his baloney all he likes, but she’s not putting Avery in harm’s way. She says she used to be afraid of Sonny, but she isn’t anymore. She says he’s weak and no longer a threat to her.  Julian is like, let’s hold on, but Sonny says he’s going to bring Ava down.

Patrick thanks Epiphany for listening. She says listening is easy, but taking action is the hard part. She says all she’s heard from him is how Sam thinks and feels, but what about him? He says he loves Sam. Epiphany says maybe he should remind her and that if he loves Sam, he needs to show her. Yep, lotsa men have a problem with that action part.

Elizabeth says that what Sam really wants is a Jason who doesn’t exist and she lies every time she says she loves Patrick. She says she didn’t take anything from Sam, that her husband is gone. He’s a different person now, and he loves her.

Carly agrees to stop being so pushy. She asks when Jason feels most alive though. She says he loves the rush of putting his life on the line, and Elizabeth will never allow him to be himself. She says she doesn’t want him going through his life half alive. She says it’s his decision, but she thinks marrying Elizabeth is a big mistake. Me too. She says in the old days, he was the one stopping her from being impulsive, but now it’s her turn to tell him to count to ten.

Julian asks if there’s any truth to what Sonny said. Ava says he’s just jealous because she has custody. Julian mentions that Ava said she was seeing someone new and asks if it’s Raj. She says no, but is cagey about whom it really is.

The super says he only saw the guy’s back. Paul says to keep everything on the down low and not to say anything about him being there because the investigation is under wraps. He says maybe he can swing some money the super’s way to pay for the lock and back rent.

Mac says he and Paul got to Port Charles around the same time, but he thought Paul had given up his wicked ways. He asks Anna if she’s sure about his involvement. Anna thinks that Paul killed Sloane and passed the body off as Carrrlos’s. Mac thinks it’s a possibility. Anna says if Carrrlos is alive, Paul has no leverage. Anna is afraid Paul will get to Carrrlos before she does. She wonders why Paul came back to Port Charles in the first place. Mac thinks he knows where to start.

Epiphany tells Sonny he’s missed half his PT session and Carly is annoyed.

Sam says maybe she doesn’t have proof that Elizabeth has been lying to Jason, but she can find it. And when she does, Elizabeth is going to regret every second she kept it to herself. Elizabeth yells at her to get out and when she opens the door, Jason is there. D’oh!

Mac tells Anna they’re going to figure things out together. Anna says they have to investigate Paul without his knowledge.

Paul talks to himself while he’s bagging stuff in Sloane’s apartment, vowing to find out who broke in.

Julian says he’s not going to ask Ava any questions about Raj or guns, because he’s promised Alexis that he’ll have nothing more to do with the mob. He tells her not to underestimate Sonny though. He says Sonny is down but not out.

Sonny says he can’t kidnap Jason for Carly. She says she doesn’t want that, but she wants him to be happy and Elizabeth isn’t putting Jason’s happiness first. Sonny plays devil’s advocate and says maybe he’s happy with Elizabeth. He does add that he wants his old friend back too.

Patrick orders lots and lots of flowers.

Elizabeth says Sam was just leaving. Sam says, no way, either you tell Jason or I will.

Tomorrow, Jason gets really pissed off at Sam.

Vanderpump Rules

Lisa tells the staff that Gay Pride Day is coming up. Jax says last year Lisa focused on PUMP, so he’s hoping that SUR will also get some attention this time around. Lisa says that PUMP was new last year, but she’s also throwing a party at SUR this year.

Jax asks Scheana what she would do if she only had 5 days to live. She says travel, but he says make a hit list. Geez. He says James would be on the list and Scheana asks if that’s because he ended up with Lala instead of Jax. In her individual interview, Scheana says that ever since James started to DJ, the ladies have been loving him, but she couldn’t date someone whose clothes are smaller than hers. Ha-ha!

The dresses for the SUR party arrive and they’re pretty darn cute. A 50s halter style in a mini, pink with a black and white floral pattern. Lisa asks Katie and Ariana to be supportive of Scheana, because she and Shay are going through a tough time. Scheana says that things have been going well, but she doesn’t want him to go overboard with drinking at the party. Jax says he shouldn’t even come, since it’s like a circus of drunks.

James comes over to Lala’s apartment. She has a cute black lab mix named Lily. This has nothing to do with the story, but I love dogs, so I mentioned it. James says that she bummed him out when she was cold to him after talking to Kristen.  James gives us TMI about what he likes sexually, and in her individual interview, Lala says she doesn’t think they’ll ultimately be compatible.

Lala says she has to lay out boundaries for James or he’ll be overly-aggressive. She just wants to date him and not get too involved. James has brought his keyboard and they practice some tracks together. Lala says that she just wants to see how things go, but James says he doesn’t like to leave things open-ended. Lala says that if he’d just shut up and speak through his music, life would be a lot better.

Sxhwartz and Tom take Shay to the gym. Tom says he thinks Shay can benefit from “Afro Brazilian Dance Fighting.” I’m not sure if he’s being funny or this is a real thing. The instructor says he combines a lot of different techniques. The class looks difficult, but fun. They do that rope climbing thing we had to do in elementary school phys-ed, but with some kind of heavy cloth. I’ll bet that’s easier to climb that that stupid rope that hurts your skin. Shay throws up in the parking lot. Maybe they should stop working out for now. Tom and Schwartz do push-ups, while Shay cheers them on.

Tom says the first day of working out is always the hardest. I agree. Tom asks Schwartz about the engagement ring he’s having designed for Katie. Schwartz says it’s awesome and he’s pretty excited about it. They talk to Shay about his addiction, and he says it’s not so much about alcohol, but he had a hard time with kicking the pills.

Scheana is getting her name changed on her driver’s license. Ariana is along for the ride. Scheana has the best experience anyone ever had having their picture taken at the DMV. She’s dressed to the nines and you’d think the “photographer” actually cared. Ariana says she doesn’t believe in marriage for herself – her parents split up, got back together, had another baby,and split up again – but she’s supportive of Scheana and Shay.

Shay says it sucks because Scheana has something to hold over his head now. Schwartz says Shay is one of his few married friends and Shay makes marriage look scary. He says if Scheana and Shay are having problems, what hope is there for him? Dude, the guy is an addict.

Party planner, Kevin Lee, is helping Lisa decorate at PUMP. Lisa wants them to pink it up and gay it up. James is running late and breezes in. Lisa sees some scratches and bruises on him and asks what happened. We both go la-la-la, but he says it wasn’t Lala. I guess they’re not exclusive. Does Lala know that?

Ken tells Lisa that James is getting it on with another hostess at SUR. Lisa is like, in a world full of women, why at my restaurant?

Man! It’s crowded in the streets for Gay Pride. Lisa says she wears a wide brimmed hat to give herself a little barrier because the crowds can be overwhelming. It probably keeps her from getting everyone’s germs too, since everyone does that double-kiss thing in L.A.

Jax says it’s not a restaurant it’s a smorgasbord of people having fun and doing bad things. Lala asks if she and Jax could have a drink, as she wants to talk to him. He tells one of the customers he’s going to <bleep> her. Tell us how you really feel.

Schwartz says Peter with short hair is like Popeye without his spinach. At least he didn’t use a Samson reference. Schwartz isn’t working and Katie is jealous. I’ll bet it’s worth the tips though.  Jax is drinking while he’s bartending and Katie says he’s like a bull in a china shop on roller skates during an earthquake.

Lala sees the marks on James. She asks where he got them and he tells her he was with someone else. Lala asks if he slept with a cobra. Lala says she told him she wouldn’t be annoyed, but she is. She tells him to get out of her face. Lauren (the cobra) asks James to take a walk with her.

Things are as busy at SUR as they are at PUMP and Lisa is mighty pleased. I don’t know if I’ve ever been in a place this crowded. Jax is basically arguing with the customers, telling them that they want more liquor than they’re ordering. Then he breaks a glass – into the ice chest. Good job!

Shay tells Scheana he’s taking it easy. He’s only having a few beers while watching everyone else do shots and get wasted. He says it’s actually embarrassing to think that was him.

The female staff is having a group picture taken and Kristen tries to get into it. She keeps saying how much she’s glad to be away from SUR, but she never seems to really go away.

Lauren tells Lala to let things with James go and that for all he knows, she’s sleeping with other guys. She says Lala shouldn’t ask him a bunch of questions. Isn’t she the one he slept with??? They hug. Isn’t she the one he slept with???

Gay Pride is wild in the streets and the PUMP and SUR parties are still rocking. Lisa says she’s exhausted. I would be too.

Scheana is counting out her tips and it comes to $748. Not bad for a day’s work. She says she feels like a stripper.

Lala asks Kristen if she can take James back. James comes by and asks why she’s angry. Kristen says he’s disgusting and should go away. Jax says James has a self-destructive pattern which is the pot calling the kettle black. Jax and Lala say they’ll speak later, but I don’t know how much that’s directed at James to make him jealous. Lala insists on knowing who it was James slept with. Yep. It was Lauren. Lala doesn’t know who to beat up first.

She’s gunning for Lauren and hunts her down. Lauren says they’re not talking about this and walks away. Apparently, Lauren is also with Anthony the bartender, so Lala lets him in on it. Now Anthony is gunning for Lauren. Lauren makes the camera go away. Lala says it’s not fair and this isn’t happening. Lala, Anthony and Lauren go behind closed doors.

Jax is waiting like a vulture. Jax asks what Lala expected, and Lala says not this. She says at least Jax was real with her from the jump. She leaves with him. She says she’s over James.

Next week – James is pissed at Jax and spits on Kristen’s apartment door.

Telenovela

I knew I was going to like this show even before I saw it. Eva Longoria playing a Spanish telenovela star who doesn’t speak Spanish? What’s not to like? Eva is very funny and has a flair for physical comedy. I love Devious Maids, and since this comes from the same gene pool, I expect I’ll love it too.

A guy from Santo Domingo that I dated for a while turned me on to telenovelas. I had no clue what they were saying, but they were so broadly acted, it wasn’t hard to understand. In one episode that stands out in my mind, two guys were throwing voodoo at each other in the hospital. It was pretty wild stuff, and I think lends itself to satire.

So far, so good. It’s also very reminiscent of Ugly Betty. The real premiere is on January 4.

Dec5

December 4, 2015 — Two GHs, 16 Chefs & Lots of Mexican Zombies

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital — Thursday

Ewww! Dante and Valerie are flirting at work. Please tell me on what planet they would even allow this at a police station?

Lulu and Maxie discuss the whole Dante/Valerie thing. Lulu says they insisted they weren’t sleeping together the whole time, just on Thanksgiving when she walked in on them. Even though I know this is true, if I was Lulu, I’d be saying, yeah, right.

Tracy and Monica are discussing a Toys for Tots fundraiser. Monica thinks Tracy’s idea of the name “Winter Gala” is too boring. Monica suggests “Nutcracker Gala” and Tracy says it’s not horrible.

Paul and Ava are making out in the gallery. I guess it really is guns that Paul is smuggling because they talk about it. Ava wants to be apprised of everything that’s happening.

Anna is down at the docks and runs into Dr. Andre, who is running. Apparently, Andre told her that the medal isn’t absolute proof of Carrrlos being alive. Anna has stopped going to therapy and gets all defensive. She had the medal tested and it shows positive for Carrrlos’s DNA.

Geez, I missed a lot yesterday. Carrrlos is the father of Sabrrrina’s baby. She doesn’t want Michael to find out, so she wants to talk to the tech about avoiding discussion of the due date. Ha-ha! She goes in to talk to the tech and it’s Carrrlos in scrubs and a mask. Man, I just love this guy. He pops up everywhere.

Tracy tells Monica she’s in charge of the silent auction. Monica challenges Tracy to see who can drum up more bucks.

Ava tells Paul she wants to be more involved in the business. She wants to take Sonny down and tells Paul she wants him to see what she’s capable of. She’s capable of some other things too, but Tracy calls in the middle of it.

Ewww again! Valerie asks Dante if he wants to go on a date. These two are making me sick. They agree to keep things discreet at work. Fat chance in Port Charles. Valerie leaves and Nathan asks if he just heard what he heard.

Sabrrrina tells Carrrlos he’d better get lost since Michael will be there any minute. She also insists it’s not his baby. Felix tries to stall Michael by saying how well-received his green bean casserole was on Thanksgiving. Sabrrrina says she’ll meet Carrrlos in an hour if he goes now. The revolving door twirls, Carrrlos leaves and Michael and the tech walk in.

Andre tells Anna she still needs some therapy. She says their business is concluded, but Andre says if she doesn’t continue therapy, he’ll be forced to go to the police with what he knows.

Sabrrrina has a sonogram. Michael thinks the baby looks bigger than it should be. Because he’s had so much experience with this. I worked for two years at a gyn clinic and still don’t know what’s what with one of those. The tech says sometimes the baby can look bigger on screen. Okay.

Andre tells Anna that the shooting is still tearing her up inside. Anna says Carrrlos isn’t dead, and asks if Andre is trying to build a case against her. Andre says no, but this isn’t helping. She says it’s not going to help even more if he turns her in.

Paul tells Tracy he’ll meet her at the Metrocourt. He tells Ava he’ll call her later and his associate will pick up the guns.

Nathan is like, Dante, you need to calm down because everyone is noticing. He says Dante still loves Lulu, but Dante says Lulu told him it was over and he doesn’t want to drag it out.

Lulu is going on and on about what a witch Valerie is and how she tried to blame Lulu for everything. Maxie isn’t hearing a word though, because she’s working her cell phone like a boss, wheeling and dealing for the magazine. Lulu leaves.

In the hallway, Felix tells Angie (the tech) that he’ll take the sono over to the doctor. He tells Sabrina and Michael that Dr. Lee got called away and asked him to give them the details. He says the baby is about 20 weeks and everything is cool. He gives them a copy of the sono. Michael has a meeting, so he leaves.

Andre says technically he’s still Anna’s therapist, so what’s up? She tells him that she thinks Paul is involved. She says the body was cremated before she got a chance to see it, per Paul’s orders, and that the autopsy report was inaccurate. I’m guessing either Andre is into her or he really wanted to be a detective when he grew up.

Paul meets Tracy at the Metrocourt. Tracy tells him about the gala. She says it will get more attention if the DA is involved and it will give him good publicity. He says she has a point, since the position of DA has been a revolving door. I have news for Paul; there are many revolving doors in Port Charles. He asks what she needs him to do and she says be her date.

Monica goes to the gallery. She tells Ava she needs some art, and Ava asks what her price range is. Monica says “free.” She tells Ava it’s only fair since she’s responsible for the death of her son. (What? What happened?)

Valerie comes into the interrogation room where Nathan and Dante are talking. He leaves and Lulu shows up at the station, saying she wants to make a report of fraternization between Dante and Valerie. Nathan says that’s a pretty big deal. She says she doesn’t care and starts to get louder. Maxie comes running in behind her and says she doesn’t want to do this. Why not? I would. Maxie says she’s there to save Lulu from herself. She says that the result could be the loss of two cops and it’s not fair to the department. She asks Lulu to come to Kelly’s with her to ease her pain. With a BLT?

Michael shows up at the Metrocourt and yaps about the baby. He shows them the sono picture. Please don’t tell me that Tracy will figure out it’s not his baby just from looking at that.

Sabrrrina thanks Felix for his help. He tells her to be careful because her “bambino” is huge and at least 26 weeks. Sabrrrina leaves and Carrrlos emerges from his eavesdropping position.

Ava says she knows what will bring in the most money. Monica says she doesn’t need help, but says she’s not seeing anything that she thinks her donors will be crazy about. Then she points to the gun crate and asks what’s in it. Because we always do stuff like that at a gallery.

Nathan tells Dante he’s a lucky guy and that Lulu almost outed the both of them.

Maxie tells Lulu they’re getting fries because the situation calls for carbs. She says it would be a mistake to get Rocco’s father fired and Valerie would have gotten a slap on the wrist. She says the need to strategize and think of something big.

Andre tells Anna she’d best be careful. She leaves to go do whatever sneaky thing she has in mind.

Ava tells Monica the crate has artwork from a touchy artist, so hands off. Monica says she’ll be expecting two significant pieces of work, which just begs for one of the many sarcastic replies at the tip of my fingers.

Carrrlos meets Sabrrrina at the docks. He tells her he knows she’s carrying his baby and he’s mega excited. She tells him to do the right thing for once and leave Port Charles and not look back. He says, no way he’s going without her.

Tomorrow, Sam and Jason move forward with the divorce – maybe.

General Hospital – Friday

Paul shows up at the station looking for Anna. But Anna’s not at the station. She’s busy breaking into an apartment. Oops! She got caught.

Sabrrrina tells Carrrlos to do the right thing for once and get out of town. He says he’s not going anywhere without her, but she says she’s not going anywhere with him.

Blah-blah-blah, romantic stuff with Jason and Elizabeth. She says she’s worried about Jake. I’d be worried too, since he spent his formative years with Helena. Jason tells Elizabeth he saw Laura at Sam’s, but he doesn’t know what they were talking about. Elizabeth has a voicemail from Nicholas saying they have to talk.

Curtis calls Hayden and asks her to meet him outside of Kelly’s. She makes up some baloney story for Nicholas. For whatever reason, Nicholas tells Laura that Sam must have dropped her suspicions about who knew what. Laura says au contraire.

Sam meets with Alexis. Sam tells her that she has information that can break Elizabeth and Jason up. She wants a divorce pronto, so she’s not tempted to use it. Oh, come on, use it. Make me happy.

OMG – it’s Mac sneaking up behind Anna! I think the last time we saw him was like 2002. He says he’s been tailing her because he and Felicia haven’t been able to get ahold of her. She tells him she’s being accused of a murder she doesn’t think she committed and she’s breaking into Sloan’s apartment to try and find evidence.

All of a sudden, Elizabeth has errands to run and tells Jake she has to go.

Nicholas tells Laura she doesn’t know what Sam is thinking or what she’s going to do and neither does he. He says she might be asking questions, but that means she doesn’t have answers. Laura tells him to be prepared for things to blow up.

Sam says she’s convinced that Elizabeth is lying to Jason and she doesn’t want to put her life on hold because of it, and what difference does it make anyway? Alexis says that it obviously makes a difference to Sam.

Jordan tells Paul she doesn’t keep tabs on people who don’t work for her. Paul tells her they both have the same goal, but their working styles are different. He asks if she sees Anna to let her know he’s looking for her.

Anna explains what’s going on to Mac. He wonders whose body was pulled out of the river. She says that’s why she’s there, to find out. (Oh, duh, it was probably Sloan.) Mac says she’s rusty at breaking and entering, and takes the tools from her.

Carrrlos says no way he’s walking away from Sabrrrina and his child. Not gonna happen.

Sam says she reevaluated the consequences after Patrick pointed them out. Alexis says that eventually Jason is going to find out what’s going on, and when he does, is this going to affect things between her and Patrick?

Carrrlos asks what Sabrrrina has going on besides idiot Michael? She says she doesn’t love Carrrlos anymore and she’s not a kid anymore. She reminds him of the St. Christopher’s medal that she gave him. He says he lost it and she says, good. She says they started off with him being older, but now he’s like the child. She tries to leave but Carrrlos grabs her. Paul is lurking in the shadows.

Elizabeth walks in on Laura and Nicholas. Having heard the tail end of Laura’s conversation with Nicholas, she gets all stupid with Laura, thinking Laura told Sam something. Laura says she didn’t say anything, but Sam suspects everything.

Diane shows up at Elizabeth’s. She says she never met Jason as “Jake Doe,” but she’s pleased to meet him now. She says she’s prepared a statement and that he had a will in place, leaving a huge amount to Sam, but pretty much taking care of everyone else too.  She says his estate is intact and he just needs to sign something saying he’s not dead and he’ll have access to it. I won’t mention that someone seemed to have access of it when he went to Greece, since the trip was paid for out of it.

Diane says she thinks he shouldn’t make any huge decisions until he fully grasps his situation. He says he wants a divorce now. She asks if it will be uncontested and he says he and Sam are on the same page.

Curtis meets with Hayden. He says there are too many familiar people inside Kelly’s for them to go in, so they’ll have to freeze outside. It’s colder in Port Charles than it is here.

Oh for God’s sake! They’ve decided to break in about discoveries in the San Bernadino shooting. Why? Why can’t this wait a whole 25 minutes?

Oh, thank you, great and powerful ABC, for giving me the last ten minutes. I think. We’ll see.

Alexis says Sam needs to make the choice that’s best for her and not anybody else. Sam asks what Alexis would do, and Alexis says Sam already knows the answer. I don’t. What is it?

Jason says he wants to make sure Sam and Danny are taken care of, as well as Elizabeth and the boys.

Elizabeth whines that she’s cursed. What an idiot! Laura says all three of them are victims of their own bad decisions and have to deal with it. Nicholas acts like everything is all cool, and says that Sam can ask all the questions she wants, but the only way things will go wrong is if Elizabeth panics and outs herself. Elizabeth leaves, and Nicholas asks Laura if they can give it a rest now.

Hayden returns. She says the meeting was nothing that couldn’t have been done through an email. She says everything is good, verging on perfect, and he asks why she seems so lost in thought. She says because she’s all wrapped up in how lucky she is.

Jordan sees Curtis at Kelly’s and it’s obvious she knows him.

Paul tells Carrrlos to leave Sabrrrina alone (she must have disappeared during the news break) and stay away from Anna. Carrrlos says he has no intention of bothering Anna again.

Anna calls a number she found at Sloan’s and Paul answers from his cell phone.

Jason goes to Kelly’s and Alexis asks how it’s going. She says she was just going over things with Sam. They both agree that everything should go smoothly, but I see something else in Alexis’s eyes.

Elizabeth gets home, but Jason isn’t there. She finds a love note form him and thinks everything is okay. There’s a knock at the door and it’s Sam.

Monday, Sam tells Elizabeth she knows everything. Whether she does or not.

Master Chef Junior

This week, it’s kids cooking for other kids in a carnival atmosphere.  It’s a birthday party for kids from 8 to 12, the same ages as the contestants. There are two teams of eight, with the winners to be voted on by the guests.  Gordon and Graham’s kids will also be in attendance, but not voting. One kid says they’re probably used to sophisticated food, and I say they’re probably begging for McDonald’s. I feel badly for the last kid picked.

I was hoping for corn dogs and curly fries, but the kids make fish tacos, turkey burgers and chicken wings. One girl is wearing a Ramones shirt and I laugh because most of the Ramones were probably dead before she was born.

The blue team wins and the pressure test is to make a croquembouche.  You’ve probably seen this pastry, it looks like a tree of little balls of cake, which are profiteroles, something like cream puffs.

That’s okay, kids who went home. I can barely pronounce croquembouche and couldn’t make a profiterole to save my life.

My money is on Addie

They’re having auditions for the next season. Go to Fox.com/masterchefjunior

Z Nation

When last we left Operation Bite Mark, Dr. Kurian was about to inject Vasquez with the vaccine. Roberta tells La Reina that she doesn’t trust the doctor. La Reina says that the doctor should have the honor of taking the first dose and he’s like, no, no, you must have the honor. She says if she thought that, she would have said it. He injects himself.

And keels over. I think Murphy is eating popcorn. Yes, I believe he is. La Reina says to kill Kurian, thinking he’s going to turn into a zombie, but he says, no, I’m good (reminding me of, “I’m not dead yet,” from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. ). La Reina says to test him. Escorpion brings out a zombie head and it bites the doctor’s hand. They wait and nothing happens. Dr. Kurian says he can’t believe it actually worked. Me too.

The queen isn’t looking too good. She sort of swoons, but it seems to be out of happiness. She praises Roberta. She says because of Roberta, there is hope because she brought Murphy to them. La Reina says Roberta must be next. Murphy steps in and asks if he can have the honor of saving her life the way she’s saved his many times. I think he’s not buying that the vaccine is good and is going to pull a fast one.

And I’m right. He just pretends to inject her. Escorpion (who only La Reina seems to call “Hector”) says these are outsiders and not to be trusted. He asks to “question” Vasquez some more. While pummeling Vasquez, who is hanging from the ceiling, Escorpion asks him why he was trying to kill La Reina. He says he wasn’t.

Everyone is getting injections. Murphy has kept OBM from actually getting the vaccine. La Reina says she’s feeling strong and calls Roberta to come drink with her. I love Gina Gershon in this role. You can tell she’s having fun.

Murphy is in Kurian’s office and says it’s a priceless turn of events. “Not if I can help it,” the doctor tells him.

Vasquez says he was trying to kill Escorpion, and reveals who he is and says that Escorpion killed his wife and daughter. Escorpion actually seems to be having the feels when Vasquez describes how his daughter died. Escorpion says he should have killed Vasquez too. He says that explains Vasquez, but what about the others. He wants to know what Roberta wants with the queen. He orders Vasquez to be put into “the maiden.”

La Reina and Roberta are bonding over drinks. La Reina has been saving some $2000 wine for a special occasion and this is it. La Reina toasts to new beginnings and also to her true love, because if he hadn’t died during the apocalypse, she wouldn’t be where she is today.

Kurian mixes up something to reverse the effects of the serum. Too late. Murphy does his mind meld thing on the doctor and makes him drop the antidote. Murphy says, “Oops! Did I do that?” a la Urkel.

Roberta walks in. Murphy demonstrates his control over Kurian. Roberta realizes that what was in the needles wasn’t a vaccine. Murphy tells her that Kurian is building him an army of zombie blends. She asks if he’s still going to California and he says maybe, but it will be with his army that he can control. Roberta reminds him that he didn’t control Cassandra very well. Murphy tells her the bright side is, she didn’t get injected because he likes her just the way she is.

Vasquez is put into a box with a chained zombie. Escorpion says they’re more alike than he realizes.

Roberta tells Doc, Addy and 10K that the vaccine is really just turning people into zombie slaves for Murphy. She says they’re going to California regardless, even if they have to take Murphy by force. She says that there’s an incubation period, but they need to move fast.

Escorpion tells a story about his son being shot in a drive-by and dying in his arms. He says Vasquez thinks the apocalypse gave him a reason to kill, but they all have their own apocalypse going on. The queen asks for his presence and he leaves Vasquez with the zombie two inches from his face.

Escorpion tells La Reina that Roberta is head of an assassination team that wants to take over their operation. Everybody just stares at everybody for a second, and then Roberta says he’s lying. She says all she wanted to do was bring Murphy to California so they could make a vaccine and that Vasquez wanted revenge on Escorpion. Escorpion draws a gun on Roberta.

Murphy has control over La Reina and suddenly she’s saying Escorpion is a trash bag and to take him away. He’s about to be dragged away and vows to kill Roberta. La Reina tells Roberta to kill Escorpion. Roberta tells Murphy it’s done and to knock it off. La Reina then tells them to do with Escorpion what they will. Roberta tells Murphy she doesn’t want any part of it, and he tells her if she isn’t part of the solution, she’s part of the problem. She tells Escorpion to take her to Vasquez.

Kurian comes in and Murphy asks what’s up. Kurian tries to attack him, but La Reina pushes him away. The court starts to circle Murphy. Murphy takes a knife and slices his own hand so that blood drips on the floor. The zombie blends start lapping it up. Murphy grabs the doctor and backs out of the room.

Roberta finds that the rest of OBM is trying to free Vasquez. Addy holds Escorpion at knife point and they get Vasquez out of the box – and put Escorpion in.

Murphy throws Kurian into an examining room, where he tries to bite at Murphy. Murphy calls him a zombie quack and Roberta comes up behind Kurian and takes his head off. She asks Murphy if he’s ready to go to California. Murphy puts on his spiffy traveling outfit and they leave, with Kurian’s head calling after them.

La Reina finds the doctor’s head and asks where Murphy is. She and her court start to follow OBM. Doc says they’re going to need something to slow them down. He says what better idea to fight half zombies than full zombies. They start to look for where Escorpion was keeping zombies for compost. They decide to let the zombies loose. Roberta tells Murphy to let his people go.

Murphy does magic trick hands, and bibbidy bobbidy boo the doors open and zombies pour out. Murphy sends them in the direction of La Reina while OBM goes the other way. It’s quick and unmerciful.

Roberta tells the others to keep going, but she’s going to wait for Murphy. Addy waits at the door while the others go out into the sunlight.

Murphy has some angst about leaving, but Roberta says they were given a chance and there’s nothing more he can do. They run to join the others. OBM just makes it up the stairs before the mass of zombies gets there.

When OBM gets outside, they see a real mess. Dead bodies, burned up cars, rubble where buildings were. And freaking Escorpion! He says no one disrespects him and lives. Roberta is about to shoot him, but Vasquez stops her. He’s going mano a mano with Escorpion.

Vasquez must be pretty tough because Escorpion is beating the crap out of him and it takes him a while to fall. He gets his memories going about his family and rises up. Now it’s his turn to beat the crap out of Escorpion. He ends it with throwing him down the stairs and into the zombie crowd at the bottom. Escorpion goes down cursing them out.

Doc and 10K see an El Camino dealership and are ready to rock and roll and get a new car. And you get a car! And you get a car! Everyone drives off in their own vehicle. 10K sees a drone following them, which is how they got into this mess, and shoots it with a slingshot.

At the border, where it says “Welcome to the United States,” someone has crossed out “United States” and written “Z Nation.”

The doctor’s head says, “It’s you. You’re alive,” and someone picks the head up. It looks like La Reina to me.

Only two more episodes left. ☹ Next week, Citizen Z is back!

Dec2

December 1, 2015 — GH, a Good-by & a Welcome Back

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Alexis is skeptical as to whether Helena is dead. Nicholas says he buried her himself, which is another reason I’m skeptical. Alexis starts singing about the wicked witch being dead. Geez, control yourself.

Elizabeth tells Carly to get lost. Carly says she’s concerned about Jason. Elizabeth says Jason is his own man, but Carly says Jason doesn’t know who that is. Check and mate. Carly tells Elizabeth she doesn’t care about him and just wants to trap him.

Laura asks Sam what’s up. Sam says that when she and Jake were talking, he said that she and Elizabeth were keeping a secret. Way to make Laura nervous.

Commercial break. This is a first. General Hospital is being brought to us today by the US Army.

Julian tells Maxie and Nina that if they don’t bring the magazine’s numbers up, he’ll have to shut it down. Maxie tells him that headhunters are already after Nina,but with their budget, there’s not a lot they can do.

Nicholas tells Alexis that Helena taunted Jason with her last breath and then keeled over. Alexis is concerned that Nicholas is picking up where Helena left off. I have news for her, he picked that up long before she left it off.

Laura says she can’t imagine what Sam is talking about. Sam tells her it involves Jason.

Patrick continues to act like an idiot. He’s annoyed that Jason has a son with Sam, and intends to stay in their lives.

Elizabeth says Carly just wants the old Jason back because she’s selfish. Carly says she wants him back because she’s his friend and he still has the old Jason instincts and wants danger and excitement. She says he’s going to end up seeking it out. Elizabeth says a bunch of nasty stuff, adding that if she has her way, Carly is not getting the old Jason back.

Laura plays it cool. She says Jake has an active imagination, and she’ll let his parents know he’s telling stories. Sam says she doesn’t think it’s his imagination and comes out and asks if they knew Jason’s identity before he did.

Jason tells Patrick that if he loses Sam, it won’t be because of him.

Carly tells Elizabeth that she always tried to make Jason feel small so he’d fit in with her. Snap! She reminds her of all the lies involving Danny. She says the only reason Jason is with her is because he doesn’t remember Sam or pretty much anything else, including what a manipulator Elizabeth is. Elizabeth says they’re together now and there’s nothing she can do about it. Carly says one day Jason might wake up to what’s going on.

Maxie says they need to give Nina a makeover and make every woman want to look like her and every straight man want to be with her. She’s bringing in a stylist. She tells Nina,”Change your clothes, change your life.” Preach it, sister.

Franco corrals Julian. He says Nina is brilliant, but can’t figure out why he would hire her with no experience. He tells Julian that if he hurts Nina, he’s going to clean up the floor with him. He says Nina has been through enough. Julian says that he only gave her a break because of her rough life. Please.

Nina gets a makeover! The stylist says Nina is her masterpiece. Nina says the shoes are pinching her feet, and Maxie says that’s okay because her feet will be numb soon. Ha-ha! They reveal Nina, and honestly, she doesn’t look much different than she did before. Just more dressed up. And in all black as a fashion editor should be. At least in New York.

Nicholas tells Alexis about the whole trip to Greece.

Carly says the second Jason remembers who he is, he’s going to leave Elizabeth. Elizabeth whines that Jason loves her. Carly says if that’s the truth, then she should give him a chance to remember. Well played!

Jason comes by Sam’s to pick up Jake. Laura is still there and Jason is like, hmm…what up?

Since Nina has mother issues, she says her sole purpose when she came out of her coma was to have a baby and seek revenge. Maxie points out that’s two purposes. The bottom line is that Nina always felt inferior, but she’s really happy right now. She vows to make something out of the magazine and her life. They fist bump to proving Julian wrong. Julian is at the office door and Nina says they know exactly what to do, but need his money to do it.

Alexis and Nicholas discuss Sam and Patrick. They agree that Patrick is a better match for keeping her safe, but Alexis says ultimately, it’s not their decision.

Elizabeth tells Carly “nice try,” and goes back to work. Patrick tells her about asking Jason to leave Sam alone.

Laura, who now has a perpetual worried face, tells Jason she’s sorry the whole Greece thing wasn’t more fruitful, but he got a couple of answers, so she hopes they can move on. She leaves and Jake is ready to go. He tells Sam he promises to keep her secret. Too bad that plan didn’t work.

Franco sees Carly and says he’s working there again. She says Obrecht must hire people who make her look sane. Ha-ha! She tells him to stay away from Morgan. He says he owes her one for dropping the charges against Kiki. Carly says shedid it for Kiki and enjoy feeling comfortable right now, because everything is going to come crashing down. I’m perplexed as to why she’s so angry with him.

Julian says if they need money, they have to draw up a proposal. Nina hands him a folder that she’s already put together. Julian leaves and Nina wants to show Maxie her brilliant idea.

Jason asks Jake if he wants to talk about anything, but stupid Elizabeth walks in. Jake goes off to watch TV, and Jason tells Elizabeth sorry he didn’t stick around for the lunch they were supposed to have. He calls the argument with Patrick “fallout,” saying that he thought things would normalize when he found out who he was, but that hasn’t happened.

Patrick has invited Alexis to Sam’s house to be her divorce lawyer. That’s kind of presumptuous of him. He’s really getting on my nerves. Sam tells her that when she’s ready to get a divorce, she’ll call Alexis, not Patrick. Good. Alexis leaves and Sam is not too happy with Patrick. I wouldn’t be either.

Julian tells Alexis that Nina has an idea that will put Crimson where he wants it, which is in the dumpster. I’m not sure what she told him, but Maxie seems pretty psyched. However, the money is still the issue (no pun intended). Nina says she’ll pay for it herself. She’s going to put in everything she has to make sure Crimson rises from the dead.

Carly continues being nasty to Franco. She says when Jason remembers how much he hates Franco, he’s going to make sure he’s dead.

Laura comes flying into Wyndemere. She tells Nicholas that Sam is thisclose to figuring out the truth.

Patrick says he wasn’t forcing Sam to do anything she didn’t say she wanted. Jason is divorcing her, and he wanted to make sure she had representation. Sam says yeah, right, he’s trying to manipulate her.

OMG – don’t tell me Elizabeth is actually going to do the right thing for once. She tells Jason she’s hanging on so tight to him, neither one of them can breathe. She says she’s letting him go and takes her ring off. This has to be a trick.

Tomorrow, Laura freaks out.

Below Deck – Reunion Part 2

We start off still discussing the oven fire debacle and whether Kate had been drinking or not. This is coming from Rocky to deflect from the fact the fire started because the oven was dirty. I’m sure that if Kate really did have a cup of wine around, it wasn’t affecting her job performance.

Andy says Captain Lee is a “man of mystery,” but I think it’s more like he wants to keep his distance from the drama. Andy asks if he’s a celebrity in the yachting community and he balks, but the other crew members say he is. We learn his first name is Harold. All this time, I thought it was Lee.

Andy asks Rocky what she thinks of him as a captain. Why her opinion should mean anything, is beyond me. She says he’s supportive of his main people, Eddie and Kate, but the others disagree. They say he’s supportive of everyone, but doesn’t put up with nonsense. Captain Lee says his main deal is that he needs it to be real and honest. No wonder I like him so much.

Andy asks Connie what her goal is and if she aspires to be a captain. She says not necessarily, but she’ll always want to work on boats. We flash back to when Connie’s father passed away. She says she was also on charter when her grandmother died (who she was close to, unlike her father) and that it’s difficult to get news like that through a text message, and she often doesn’t react until she gets home.

Eddie says together, Emile and Connie make the perfect deckhand. Andy reads a tweet that talks about how Connie and Rocky started off fine, but didn’t end on a good note. Connie says every time the cameras pointed at Rocky, she acted like a theatrical lunatic. Connie says you can still have friends that annoy you.

Rocky brings up when Connie put the whipped cream bikini on. Kate says that was different because it was off time, while Rocky took her clothes off during charter and dove off the side of the boat. Rocky says she had to take her clothes off because she was wearing an expensive mic. Okay. Captain Lee says her problem is, she doesn’t own her stuff. She always makes excuses for her mistakes. I’m with him on this. I hate that.

Rocky says she’s learned a lot since then and apologizes. She says that she thinks she was just overwhelmed with the whole thing. Kate and Rocky hug and I actually think it’s sincere. Kate says she’s ready for “the list,” a term she uses for people who have their job down and you don’t have to show them how any more.

They talk about the night Chef Leon quit. Andy says Chef Ben flew in like a yachtee superhero. Enter Ben. He says as a yacht chef, your job is to follow the guests’ preferences rather than just doing whatever. He says the galley was a disgrace and the health department would have shut it down.

They talk about Chef Ben’s accident and how Rocky literally had to be his left hand. Ben says she has the potential to work in the galley.

A tweet asks if Kate gets along with anybody and we flash back to an argument between her and Ben. Not really a fair example. Kate and Ben say that it’s more like banter between them. Andy asks about their “fling,” and they make jokes about how it didn’t last all that long. Andy asked if Kate had thought to rekindle the flame when Ben returned, but she says it was more like she was just grateful for a friendly face. Andy keeps pushing for them to get together again and it’s kind of annoying.

Dave, the final replacement deckhand, joins the group. Emile has all good things to say about his bunkmate. All of a sudden, Andy switches gears and starts talking about Eddie and Rocky’s hook-ups in the laundry room. Andy asks who made the first move, and Eddie says it was Rocky even though he texted first. Rocky acts like being on a yacht is a prison sentence where you have no other choice but to get together with your co-worker. Eddie says he doesn’t deny what happened, but it wasn’t exactly a relationship. More like friends with benefits. Rocky says usually friends with benefits act like friends.

Andy asks if Eddie thought it could really be kept secret and he says yes. Huh? He does know this is on TV, right? Rocky says she thought she could trust Emile because they were friends. Emile wants to deny that he had a crush on Rocky. Please. Especially after he wanted to fight for her honor. Amy calls Rocky out that she should have known better since Emile worked closely with Eddie.

Ben jokes about tipping his hat to Eddie for his sneaking skills. He says yachting is a concentrated environment and stuff is going to happen. Andy asks Rocky if she thought it was going to continue after charter. She says not after he went around talking trash about her. Connie hadn’t believed it at first and she says that’s because all anyone ever talked about Rocky was smack, and she didn’t think her boss would be “banging a cuckoo bird.”

The big denial is discussed. Like seriously, did Eddie think that was going to fly? He says he was ashamed of himself for his unprofessionalism. Rocky says she was surprised he didn’t feel something more for her. Eddie said he’d liked her, but when she went crazy and dove off the boat, things changed.  Eddie says that was the end, but Rocky interjects there were two more times after the show. What is wrong with Eddie? I hope his girlfriend gets a clue and dumps him.

They interject a scene where each of the crew members reads what their Real Housewives tagline would be. My favorite was Leon (read by Andy): Tonight, I’m serving beef cheeks.

Seriously, what is wrong with Eddie that he thinks this wouldn’t come out? He continues to deny it, but Rocky says she has no reason to lie. Stir-the-Pot Andy says Eddie does, since he’s back together with his girlfriend. Rocky says that they had been broken up at that time. I never get why people pretend something didn’t happen when they have it on film, but this dude just continues. Captain Lee says he was extremely disappointed in Eddie and it feels like when your father says something like that.

Andy reads a tweet that asks why Rocky seems to be solely to blame for the male reaction to her. I do kind of feel sorry for her here because she says she thought Eddie was at least a friend. Eddie says he told his girlfriend before he even got home. Andy asks if he hadn’t been caught, would he have told his girlfriend and he says yes, but come on. Eddie is like, can we just move forward, and Rocky says she forgives him. 1…2…3…awww!

Commercial break. I don’t recognize one couple on the new season of Marriage Boot Camp, except for Mama June and Sugar Bear. Maybe I’ll be skipping that one.

Andy asks if everyone sees themselves working on yachts in the future. Eddie says he’s going to concentrate on his career in tugboats. A spin-off series, Below Deck: Mediterranean will be coming up, with Chef Ben in the galley. I’ll definitely be watching this, but some of the scenes where the guests are treating the crew members like trick ponies are a little disturbing.

I’ll miss these guys, especially Captain Lee. I hope they come back for another season some time.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Giggy! A dude from the LA Dodgers comes to Lisa’s house because she’s going to throw out the first pitch for LGBT Night, and he’s going to teach her how to do it. The dogs go crazy as soon as they see a ball. Ken tells Lisa to pretend the guy is Brandi. Ha-ha! Lisa says she doesn’t have anything to do with Brandi anymore and I don’t blame her. That girl (and I use the term loosely) is a menace.

LisaR is doing an Oprah: Where Are They Now? show and the producer is there to go over things. LisaR says to actually get Oprah, you have to be at the next evolutionary level, which she’s working toward, but isn’t there yet. She says the longest she’s worked at a job is three years, so she has me beat by one. Except for my six year stint as a mother’s helper.

Eileen says her latest soap storyline is a complicated one, including a love triangle between her, her daughter and her daughter’s boyfriend. She says the last time she did that, she was the daughter, and wonders if she’ll be in the business long enough to do one being the grandmother.

LisaR says she hopes the rest of her career eclipses her Depends commercial, so it doesn’t say “she wore diapers” on her tombstone.

Kyle gets ready to meet Lisa at Villa Blanca. I’m glad those two made up.

Yolanda is not doing too well physically. Her daughter, Gigi Hadid, calls and Yolanda says Gigi had to leave school because the modeling contracts are plentiful right now.

Lisa wonders why Yolanda is doing so many different treatments. Yolanda was diagnosed with neurological Lyme disease a few years back, and is at a loss as to what to do, so she’s doing it all. She says it’s like trying to uncover a murder mystery.  She hasn’t even driven a car in three years. Kyle tells Lisa it’s weird how Yolanda never leaves the house anymore. Lisa says she wasn’t thrilled with how Yolanda treated Ken last season, but she’s letting it go under the circumstances.

Kyle says she’s in talks for a scripted show about her life in the 70s. Her sister Kathy is skeptical, but Kyle says the show isn’t about her. She says she hasn’t even been speaking to Kim. Kyle talks about Kim being arrested for drunk and disorderly at the Beverly Hills Hotel. Kyle says at least it’s easier now that everything is out in the open, and we flash back to several scenes where Kim was obviously out-of-her-mind drunk.

LisaR is having a dinner for her birthday. She invites Yolanda, who says husband David is away working, but maybe she’ll bring her friend, Angie. After she hangs up, she gets down about not being able to go places. She says if it wasn’t for her kids, she would have jumped off the balcony. In her individual interview, she talks about how she used to be so in control of everything and making it perfect, which she can’t do anymore. It’s really kind of sad. I’ve since read that she and her husband are divorcing, which makes it even sadder.

Giggy! Lisa is honored to be throwing out the first pitch, but is wishing she had a shot of vodka first. Giggy is with Lisa and Ken, looking as handsome as ever. He makes a big yawn and I squee. Lisa can’t pitch her way out of a paper bag, but everyone cheers anyway.

LisaR goes shopping with her daughters. It’s a cool store called Dungarees, not like those rich people stores that only have three items in them. LisaR sounds like a great parent. One of the kids wanted a car, so she told them to get a job. That’s what my father said when I was old enough to work and wanted a big ticket item.

Eileen is getting rid of some things in her house. While she’d thought it was eclectic, Brandi had said it was more like American Psycho.Eileen said it was hurtful, but it gave her a different perspective of her clutter. And actually that comparison is wrong, since the guy in that story was a minimalist. Eileen’s FIL, Dick van Patton, has also passed away recently, and left a void in the family.

I can assure you, LisaR’s birthday dinner venue is nothing like mine was. While I sat in front of the computer eating Arby’s, this restaurant looks like a fantasy villa with twinkling lights, flowers and columns. Yolanda shows up sans makeup and really doesn’t look too well. She still looks better than me on my best day, but in comparison to what she normally looks like.

Lisa and Ken have plans to join Kyle and her family on a vacation in Tuscany. Yolanda feels akin to a “car overheating” from pushing herself to go out and has to leave. LisaR’s husband, Harry Hamlin, arrives. She says he has a lot going on and hasn’t stopped since Mad Men. The food looks fantastic and LisaR gets a surprise gift from Eileen and Vinnie, who couldn’t be there because of Dick’s death. Harry gives LisaR a gorgeous pair of earrings. I have a similar pair, but I can guarantee mine were cheaper. Harry makes a joke about them being cubic zirconia, but that’s highly doubtful.

LisaR says Yolanda was brave to come out without any “protection,” meaning the façade of makeup. She’s very touched that Yolanda showed up.

Back at home, Mauricio and Kyle discuss Kim. Kyle says that when she was younger, you kept things like alcoholism private and this was part of the problem, and at least everyone is being honest about it now. She says there was never a chance to have an open and honest conversation. She says she feels selfish not swooping in to save Kim, but Mauricio says the only way to help is by tough love. Kyle says it’s not like Kim is banging on her door to apologize either.

Next week – Tuscany!

Although I’m not adding it, I highly recommend The Girlfriend’s Guide to Divorce. It gave me my quote of the week.

You know the last time I had a night out? Never.

Dec1

November 30, 2015 –Keeping Secrets in PC; Not So Much in LA

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Jason wants to see Diane to get his financial stuff together. Elizabeth suggests he seek a divorce from Sam while he’s at it. No surprise there.

Morgan is getting reevaluated at the hospital. Sonny is fretting about Dante and Lulu. Carly tells him to give Dante some space. They talk about mystery child Christina, who is apparently getting over a broken heart.

Ugh! Valerie wakes up next to Dante and I want to throw up. These two disgust me to no end.

Laura (who is looking really good) calls Lulu to tell her good luck with Dante. Laura has no idea how much Lulu is going to need, especially when she walks in and Valerie is in her shower. Nicholas is back with the news that Helena is dead, but I don’t believe it. She’ll be back. They always are. Laura says she’s sorry for Nicholas’s loss. He’s like, really? After everything Helena put her through? She says Helena was still his grandmother. He says it’s hard for him to grasp that she won’t be around to wreak havoc anymore, but in a way it’s a relief. Laura says at least he and Elizabeth are in the clear. Hardly.

Hayden goes to the bar at the only favorite restaurant of Port Charles. She meets a guy named Curtis, who Sean sent to help her expose who really shot her.

Patrick has to go to work (at least somebody does) and Sam wants to plan a romantic evening. I get the feeling her heart isn’t entirely in it though.

Ava asks about Morgan and Carly tells her to just hand over Avery for visitation time. She says she agreed to supervised visits and behold! the supervisor.

Sam calls Jason and asks if he can arrange a play date for Jake and Danny. Elizabeth of course volunteers to drop Jake off. Jason tells her to stay at work, he’ll handle it. I wonder if anyone ever puts in a full day at the hospital and how anything even gets done in Port Charles. You’d think these people all work for the government.

Dante answers the door to find Lulu. She starts to talk about fixing things, but here comes that witch Valerie, wrapped in a sheet. Seriously, does anyone ever really walk around wrapped in a sheet like they do on TV or in the movies? I’ve never once done that. Valerie says she’ll get dressed in the bathroom. Lulu asks Dante if he’s going to say it’s not what it looks like, but he says it’s exactly what it looks like.

Carly tries to argue with Yvonne, the child visitation supervisor, saying that Avery is Sonny’s daughter. Why is she bothering with that, since she knows they have to go according to the court order?

Laura says that with Helena gone, the truth about Jason is gone. She tells Nicholas the only one he has to worry about now is Hayden.

Hayden tells Curtis she knows who shot her, but she needs evidence.

Elizabeth tells Patrick that Jason is going to talk to Diane about a divorce, even though that’s not exact;u what he said he was doing. Although why should Elizabeth tell the truth about anything at this point?

Jason drops off Danny at Sam’s. They say blah-blah-blah about how they want the best for each other. He tells her he’s going to see Diane and Sam says it’s time for them to get a divorce and he won’t have any problem with her about it.

Patrick says he’s not surprised about Jason getting a divorce. Jason told him Sam is just a friend and he belongs with Elizabeth, who gloats like the cat who ate the canary.

Jake spills something and asks Sam not to be angry. She tells him that she once spilled a whole carton of milk and blamed it on the cat, and that this is the first time she’s ever told anyone. Since she shared this secret with him, she asks if he would like to return the favor.

Nicholas says he can trust Hayden. Laura says she doesn’t want to see him get hurt like what happened with Britt.

Curtis says if Hayden knows who shot her, why not just call the cops? She says she doesn’t want to involve them. Curtis is hesitant, as he doesn’t want to end up in prison with Sean.

Some guy is in the gallery when Ava walks in and she says she’s going to get the police if he doesn’t leave. Paul pops in and introduces her to “Raj.” He also tells her that he’s brought a new piece of artwork, which we know isn’t really artwork, but will probably never find out what it really is.

Carly asks Yvonne if she can give Sonny some space and just hang around outside. Surprisingly, she agrees, which I seriously doubt would happen in real life. Oh sure, I’ll just go get coffee when I’m supposed to be supervising the visit.

Lulu is like, I can’t believe it. Dante says she gave him separation papers, ignorant of the fact that the body isn’t even cold yet. She says he couldn’t even wait one day? and that she had come to tell him she’d made a mistake. She should really get rid of him. He’s just way too impulsive and has proved this over and over. Since that’s still her house, she should also drag Valerie’s ass out, dressed or not. And burn that sheet she was wearing. Maybe with her in it.

Jason is back at the hospital and tells Carly he wasted the trip to Greece. She says maybe he has to look inside himself for the answer. (More Wizard of Oz wisdom.) He says he has what he needs with Elizabeth and the kids. Carly says, what about Sam? and Jason acts like he’s never met her. Patrick tells Elizabeth he’s not so sure Sam doesn’t still love Jason.

Sam tells Jake to think of a secret and she’ll try to guess what it is. When she asks if it’s about his mommy, he practically spills every bean, except the actual secret.

Laura tells Nicholas that Spencer got attached to Britt and now he’s getting attached to Hayden. Nicholas says he knows what he’s doing and Laura says she hopes so.

Hayden tells Curtis that she thinks there’s a bullet in the wall at the garage. He says it might not provide the information she wants, but she says just get it and she’ll do the rest.

Ava asks my eternal question – what the blip is our business? Paul says they’re in international shipping and what difference does it make? Well, for one it makes a difference to customs.

Sonny teaches Avery Beautiful Dreamer. Ok, this is pretty cute and he actually knows words to the second verse.

Dante says Lulu said they were over and he believed her. Oh, I see. This he believes, even though he’s constantly double-checked everything she has to say up until now. Valerie, instead of keeping her stupid nose to herself, has to put in her two cents as she walks by, that it’s Lulu’s fault because she gave Dante the separation papers. Lulu is like, well, you were right there to jump in, and Valerie acts all high and mighty like the blippity-blip she is.

Lulu goes off like a rocket. Valerie says she wanted to play the victim and make Dante grovel. What’s wrong with that? I ask before screaming, “Smack her!” at the TV. Valerie says she was sorry for sleeping with Dante, but she didn’t destroy Lulu’s marriage, Lulu did. She leaves before I’m able to find something to throw at the TV.

Laura goes out for a glass of champagne and does a whole thinking out loud monologue that they rarely use on the soaps anymore. I love it! She makes a silent toast to Helena’s death, vowing to fix things with Nicholas that Helena messed up.

Jason tells Carly he wants to move on with Elizabeth and if it doesn’t fit her expectations, too bad. Carly says Elizabeth has tried to put him into a cookie cutter life and that he’s running from who he really is. She says Jason isn’t a stranger, Jason is him. Jason says get used to the new him.

Sam digs deeper to find out what Danny knows. When he seems uncomfortable, Sam tells him his secret with mommy is his secret with mommy and he doesn’t have to tell her. Sam makes a phone call to someone saying she needs to talk to them right away.

Sonny wants more time with Avery. Yvonne tells him she has to go by the rules and doesn’t want t o tattle to the judge, but Paul intervenes and says it’s cool if Sonny wants more time. What up wit dat?

Lulu asks Dante if Valerie is speaking for him and if he agrees with her. He says he speaks for himself and shows her the signed separation papers. Even though I detest him, I was hoping he’d rip them up for her sake. But nooooo.

Sonny thanks Paul for the extra time. Paul says he had the same experience with Tracy a million years ago. Paul says they also share a love for Port Charles and he wants to put an end to the kind of criminal activity that put Sonny in the wheelchair. Sonny says a lot of DAs have come and gone, and Paul says he isn’t like the rest.

Ava is trying to get into the crate that’s been delivered. She gets it open and there are weapons inside. I’m pretty shocked that this has been revealed, and wonder if the weapons are a front for something else.

Hayden tells Nicholas it’s been too quiet without him. He says he’s glad Spencer didn’t create chaos. She says that’s not the kind of excitement she’s looking for and they kiss.

Carly grabs Elizabeth and says she wants her to let Jason go. Jake leaves a message for Diane.

Patrick tells Jason thanks for divorcing Sam & it’s about time.

Sam opens the door to Laura.

Tomorrow – Franco! And more of Carly getting on Elizabeth’s case.

Vanderpump Rules

I gotta say, Lisa is an incredibly gorgeous woman. Lisa asks Scheana how it’s going with Shay. She says they’re going to hit the gym five times a week and eat healthy. Lisa says addiction isn’t cured by scrambling some egg whites. Amen.

Jax is pretending to stock the bar and probably slipping several bottles of wine into his car as he does it. He’s one of those people who can’t comprehend that cheating, lying and thievery is wrong. He says he has milk with a longer shelf life than Scheana and Shay’s marriage and generally throws them shade. Lisa chides him and tells him to keep his new nose out of it. It’s amazing how her beauty and her accent allow her to totally insult people and they don’t mind.

Lala is hung over and apparently made out with James at whatever party/bar/get together they were last at. James told her he and Kristen had broken up. He says in his individual interview that they have, they just haven’t broken up yet.

Kristen shows up at SUR and asks Lala (who she doesn’t know) to tell James that she’s waiting for him. Lala says it’s like a horror movie. Just wait. James is like, you’ve got to be kidding, and steps out to see Kristen. She’s a psychopath, but she knows how to pick an outfit. Her dress is amazing. Kristen is just back from a modeling shoot and there are two different stories according to the both of him. In James’s version, she went on a bender, probably had sex with some guy and never called the whole time; and in Kristen’s, she went out with friends and her phone died.

James tells her she will never see his gorgeousness again. He says that the only time that will happen is if she stalks him like she did Tom. In the meantime, Lala is telling Jax and Tom that she’s freaking because she made out with James and crazy Kristen is outside. Jax tells her that on a one to ten scale of crazy, Kristen is probably around 457. I’m making that up. He actually did a crazy scale with hand gestures, but I know he’d agree with my numbers.

Kristen brings up stuff that she’s done for James. He tells her that she’s crazy and a joke. She says she’s sorry her past has affected him, that she’s worked hard on herself and that it’s obvious he’s just trying to hurt her. She tells him he’s gorgeous (debatable) and talented (also debatable) and he’s throwing it away (still debatable because he’s only like 12). James says the only thing screwing up his life is her and tells her it’s over. He can’t help tossing back more insults as he walks away, saying he has a date tomorrow and it’s going to be a better time than he ever had with her. I can’t stand Kristen, and maybe James has a reason to be saying all this, but I’m liking him even less than her in this moment.

Scheana and Shay are having morning coffee. She has on these phenomenal blue framed glasses on that I’m sure weren’t cheap. She says they shouldn’t be as out of shape as they are at their age, and Tom is going to give them cooking and nutrition lessons.

Tom and Ariana arrive. Tom is going to cook them some omelets. As it turns out, he’s quite the omelet whiz and was once a professional omelet maker who cooked rich peoples’ breakfasts. The breakfast looks awesome, but there’s no way I’d do all that first thing in the morning. With the exception of Kristen, I think these kids are all good hearted, but misguided if they think babysitting Shay is going to keep him sober.

Peter is getting a haircut! I’ll bet this will make him look 10 years younger. When men wear long hair after a certain age, it just ages them. Maybe because it seems like they’re trying to hard to look younger. Jax tries to tell on James dating Lala (I guess she’s his tomorrow date?) and misuses the word “fraternization,” but Lisa isn’t having it. She says he’s just jealous. He says he doesn’t want to date Lala; he just wants to sleep with her. At least he’s honest. Although sleep is not what he means.

Rachel is the friend Kristen inflicts with her problems. Or in her words, when she’s having difficulties with her life, Rachel is the person she has a drink with. Or five. Her “girl power” friend. You go, Psycho Spice. Up until now, James has been telling Kristen that Lala is a whore, but she’s put two and two together that Lala must be his date. She barely slept and threw up all day. Have another drink.

Peter goes to the salon and brings his posse with him (Jax and Tom). The hairdresser is rocking some sort of natural style with a shocking pink blaze in the front. Peter’s ponytail gets cut and his head must feel lighter. He asks what was up with James the other night.

For whatever bizarre reason, Jax says the SUR bunch have invited both Kristen and Lala out for drinks at a club. Are they insane? Yes. Tom says he doesn’t think Jax will ever have a real relationship because he loves to stir the pot. He and Ariana are distancing themselves from the drama.

The girls go for pedicures. Scheana says that Kristen has been blowing up her phone. Scheana wants to call Lala out for being the type that goes after other people’s boyfriends. She thinks everything is okay with her and Shay, ignoring the fact that he’s been addicted for many years. They’ve decided to pretend the last week never happened, and she’s threatened him with divorce if he ever takes another pill. She seems to think this can replace rehab or meetings. Ariana is concerned that they will continue to sweep things under the rug.

Lala and James go to some burger place. Yay! They’re in time for happy hour. Lala says she was nervous all day. I would be too. Kristen is probably in the next booth. In her individual interview, she says he’s not her usual type, and that she usually goes for the steak, but she’s enjoying the string beans. James says it’s obvious Jax told Kristen what’s up with them. Lala doesn’t seem too concerned though, and I’m guessing she can hold her own against Alex Forrest Kristen Doute.

Lisa has brought in Jesse and Jen to teach the staff about wine and wine pairings. They hate being schooled, but at least Jax keeps his remarks to himself this time. Scheana stays behind and Lisa asks her for an update. Lisa says it’s not a good idea for Shay not to be working. Scheana says it’s more important that they work on their marriage, but Lisa tells her she’s going to end up resenting it. And she has on a fabulous pink sparkly ring! Frankly, I think that dude needs to start doing something with his time other than working the remote. Scheana says he’s trying, and Lisa says maybe not hard enough. If I was married to him, his behind would be out looking for a job, even if our last name was Rockefeller.

It’s time to go to the club for the interrogation drinks. Shay took a pass on the event for obvious reasons. Scheana starts off by saying she’d like to get to know Lala better, but dives right in to how James was still going out with – and there she is. Lala wonders why Kristen is there when everyone says how much they hate her. That is a really good point.

James tries to put his arm around Lala, and she tells him to have some respect. He says she’s no fun anymore. Really. It sounds like I made that up, but I didn’t. He said that. James follows Kristen, Jax and Tom outside, but sits separately. Kristen gives Jax some BS about how she’s so chill now. Lala bravely steps in and introduces herself and Jax runs like hell. Lala  tells Kristen that James said they were broken up. Kristen says James has called Lala a slut and a whore. In her individual interview, she says James was no doubt covering in case Kristen caught him texting her, which he’d been doing for a while.

James sits down, Lala says she’s offended, and the girls leave him sitting there by himself. Everyone reconvenes in the club. Lala tells James she didn’t like what he’d said about her. James acts like Kristen must have lied to her. Scheana says it really wasn’t cool and Jax is laughing his head off. Of course nobody has actually told James what they’re even talking about. James says it was before he really knew Lala and he was only talking about her outfit.

Next week – Gay Pride Day and Shay at the gym. Lala also gives James the brush off.

Tidbit from the After Show

Kristen says she smacked her face on the bumper of an Uber, which is why she has a black eye. Hmm…

I was okay with the bitch until he attached the basic to it. Lala, referring to James’s insults.

 

Nov26

November 25, 2015 –Loving & Thanksgiving Pizza

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

If Loving You Is Wrong

Stalker Randal won’t leave Alex’s hospital room. He goes on and on with declarations of love, and is totally freaking her out. He makes these pleading faces that I can’t stand. Alex rings for the nurse. Randal is borderline hysterical. How he even got in here is beyond me.

The nurse tells Randal he has to leave. Randal says he’s not leaving without holding his son. The nurse threatens to get security. Brad walks in and tells Alex to let him hold the baby. This is all so sickening, I’m feeling the pit of Alex’s stomach.

The nurse threatens Randal with security again, and Brad insists Alex let Randal hold his son. The nurse asks Alex if she should get help, but Alex says no. Randal tells Brad he should leave, and they start going back and forth about Brad having sex with Marcie. Brad says Randal sounds crazy, and Randal says Brad has no idea how crazy he is. I think I have a pretty good idea. I’ve thought he was weird from the first episode. Brad wants to take it outside, but Randal says he wants to spend quality time with his son. We should have a drinking game where we take a shot whenever they say “son.” We’ll be three sheets to the wind in no time.

Brad accesses the video of him and Marcie on his cell phone. We don’t see it, but there are a lot of noises. Brad is like, I’m going to do it again when I’m not so drunk. Randal tries punching him and misses. Brad locks the door and proceeds to kick the bejesus out of Randal. I don’t think you’re allowed to do this in the hospital. Well, maybe General Hospital.

Eddie introduces himself to Claudia. Eddie is seriously getting on my nerves. He asks her if she saw the video of the shooting. She says something about the poor cop who got shot and Eddie says he thought the dude shot himself. She says she’s unclear about what she saw. She needs some creamer and Eddie gives her some from his desk. She introduces herself to Lushion. This business with the creamer seemed unnecessary. Maybe I’ll think differently later.

Faun brings Joey to her house when her father is out of town. I don’t think these two have any idea of how much trouble they’re probably going to get in eventually. Joey is impressed with all the cool stuff, but her room looks like it was furnished from PBTeen. Faun brings out a joint.

Faun wants Joey to do a striptease and takes the bank bag out of her purse. She starts throwing the money around, and thinks this is a real hoot. I’m guessing her father thought she was more responsible than this. They start making out on top of the money, which looks like Monopoly money, but maybe it’s the lighting.

Ramsey asks Kelly, who is sitting in her car, how she’s doing and she says fine. He says she’s been sitting there a while, but she’s like everything is cool, go away. He insists on knowing what’s wrong, and she says she had a bad blowup with a friend and is trying to get herself together before her son comes home. Ramsey asks if she’d like to come in. She suggests they go to her house.

Ramsey says he can’t wait to sell the house and get out. It’s depressing living at his mother’s house now that she’s gone. He starts singing some song his mother sang, and Kelly knows it and sings. He says she has a beautiful voice, and she says he doesn’t. Ha-ha! She gets them some wine and he says he hasn’t been able to track Marcie down. Kelly says Marcie has a lot going on right now, which is an understatement, but to not give up.

He says he doesn’t want to be the guy who cries every time he thinks about his mother and wants to leave. Kelly says it’s cool and don’t go. He says he’s a military man and is used to being the strong one. Kelly says she’s pretty stressed and Ramsey asks if it has to do with Alex. Kelly is like, how the blip did you know about that? And he says his mother had heard them in the shed. Ramsey says Kelly has no idea how much he misses his mom.

He tells Kelly she’s beautiful and now he’s got to go. He says a friend once told him in moments like this, you should only be around people you trust. She’s like, what? and he says he doesn’t trust himself. They have some pre-romantic banter and Ramsey leaves.

They start to kiss on the porch and that idiot Travis shows up. He’s all what is this? like he owns Kelly. He follows Kelly into the house and asks if she’s seeing someone behind his back. What is wrong with this guy? He’s the one who just wanted to be friends and was engaged to someone else. I’m totally not getting this. She tells him to get out, which seems to be a regular thing now.

Esperanza interrupts Eddie trying to chat up Claudia. She says Eddie is the father of her son and tells Claudia to get back to work. Eddie thinks she’s jealous, but I think she’s just running interference because of what Natalie told her.

Faun asks Joey if they’re dating. Since they’re naked in bed among bills of various denominations, is that what they call this kind of thing now? Too late for an answer. Faun’s father walks in with a shotgun. He tells Joey to get dressed and wait in his car. I’m guessing it’s not to give his blessing to this union.

Marcie is ready for work and Louise says she’d like to stay a little longer. She says she wants to make sure Marcie and Randal are okay. Marcie says she’ll be staying a long time then. Louise apologizes for Randal’s actions and says he knows better. She says she’s talked to him and thinks he feels sorry.

Randal walks in. Louise asks what happened and he says he kicked Brad’s ass. Marcie says it looks like Brad kicked Randal’s ass. Louise tells them to knock it off. Randal sits down and lights up a cigar, and sings some song as he goes upstairs. Louise and Marcie are as puzzled as I am.

Lushion asks Ben why he does everything Eddie tells him to. Eddie tells him to mind his own business. Lushion finds Pete in the locker room. Pete isn’t thrilled with patrolling a good neighborhood on a bicycle. He says he’s working on something that’s going to shake up the whole department. Lushion tells him whatever he’s doing, he should drop it. Lushion says he has no idea what’s going on there and you can’t trust anybody. Pete thinks he’s special and Lushion tells him his ego is going to get him in trouble. Yep.

Mr. Kym takes Joey home and tells Natalie what he found. He tells her to keep an eye on her child and fires them both. He tells them not to come back to the burger place.

Natalie is like thanks a lot to Joey and what is she supposed to do for money now? She says he can’t listen and that she told him to leave Faun alone. Natalie throws his stuff at him and tells him to get out. It’s not a good day in whatever the name of this town is.

Ben asks Pete why he doesn’t want to talk to him anymore. Pete says he has stuff with his girlfriend going on. He really says that. Ben continues to be pushy and wants to hang out. Ben says riding together all day was enough and Ben finally leaves.

Pete the rookie jerk goes in to see the captain. He’s going to spill the beans about the video, I just know it. He says he has some information about Eddie. The captain says he has a meeting, but to talk to his immediate boss and leaves. Pete says he’ll wait for the captain. His boss isn’t happy about him jumping the chain of command.

Ramsey goes to see Marcie. Ramsey says she looks great for having just had a baby. She’s like what the what? She goes outside and there’s a giant stork that says It’s a Boy for Randal & Alex!

Next week, Alex comes home and Brad acts like a normal person.

General Hospital

As always, I’m wondering how pizza will end up being the Quartermaines’ Thanksgiving dinner.

Paul is going to prepare the dinner, with Dillon as sous chef. That might explain how it’s going to happen.  I just can’t imagine Paul cooks that often.

Ava goes out to eat with Avery. I’m sure it’s at The Floating Rib. The waitress asks if she can take the order without Ava looking at a menu. Although everyone eats there so often, maybe they have it memorized.

Julian, Olivia and Leo join Molly and Christina (who?) at Alexis’s house.

Michael and Sabrrrina arrive at the Quartermaines. Jason was invited, but has yet to arrive.

Sam and Patrick are getting the table ready. Anna is there and Dr. Andre shows up. Patrick invited him. Dr. Andre is from Chicago (chicken in the car and the car won’t go – sorry, but that always pops into my head when I hear Chicago) and can’t get home for Thanksgiving. I’m wondering if he and Anna are going to end up together. He’s pretty fine looking.

Lulu and Rocco (I still laugh over a baby being named “Rocco”) get together with Laura at the restaurant.

Dante is watching football at home, which is probably what everyone else wishes they were doing. He’s about to sign the separation papers (I almost typed “commitment papers” – ha-ha!) and what a surprise, Valerie is at the door. Does that woman have no shame?

I’m hoping they’re not going to make me cry. Monica mentioned Ed, Lila and Alan, and I already feel on the edge. I miss them terribly. And while we’re on the subject, I miss the reading of the Christmas story. Once Alan died, they changed everything. Bah, humbug.

Ava shows up at Alexis’s and gets the door slammed in her face by Olivia. Nice, since she has the baby with her.

Paul goes to tend to the turkey. Dillon asks Tracy how she’d feel if Paul was seeing someone else. She says they’re just friends and he says he wishes he could feel the same about Lulu.

Valerie brings Dante a plate from the PCPD. Oh Lord, she notices the football game and is apparently a fan. Of course Dante asks her to stay.

Jason arrives at the Quartermaine mansion.

Commercial break. It’s that one for Clorox where the woman in the designer dress pours the bleach. I want to know if that’s an Oscar de la Renta dress, because it sure looks like one.

Julian lets Ava in. Olivia has a lot to say, but she’s overridden. Christina (who?) starts off by introducing herself and insulting Ava. So far, I’m not impressed with her.

Emma tells the story of A Christmas Carol, and how ghosts made Scrooge into a better person. Anna mulls this over, except Carrrlos ain’t no ghost.

Monica is the only one without an agenda in regard to Jason. She says she realizes his joining them doesn’t mean that he’s accepted them as his family, but she’s glad he’s there. Michael tells him about the baby, like no one has noticed Sabrrrina is pregnant. Jason talks about his visit to Helena (who is suddenly being called He-lain-a) and Elizabeth (who invited her?) says she’s dead and not coming back (I still don’t believe it). Young Jake drops a glass when he hears this. Did anyone ever bother deprogramming that kid?

Commercial break. A news blurb says that Frank Gifford’s brain is being donated to science research and I refrain from the many sarcastic comments in my head.

After dinner, Dr. Andre says he’s feeling like a turkey himself, and tells Anna he had no idea he was going to be having dinner with a patient.

Julian makes nice with Molly, who’s feeling generous because of the baby. Ava brings in some baked goods.

Valerie and Dante continue to watch the game. These are two of the stupidest people ever, since if history is any indication, Lulu will be coming by.

Lulu tells Laura she dropped off the separation papers, but hoped Dante would tear them up. She says she doesn’t feel like she can trust him, but she still loves him. Uh-huh. She’s going over there after dinner and you know it.

Elizabeth, who should have her children taken away from her by CPS, asks Jake if he’s okay. She asks if there’s anything he wants to talk about, and Michael interrupts, asking if Jake wants to go to the kitchen for cookies. I see what kind of father he’s going to be. The ignore it and it will go away kind.

Jason answers the door at the Quartermaines’ (because he lives there and they have no butler) and it’s Sam. From the look on his face, I don’t care what he’s saying, he still loves her. I actually like this actor a whole lot more than I ever did the original Jason (which I’m sure is an unpopular opinion).

Sam has brought Patrick and Danny with her. She says she didn’t know Jason would be there. (No inkling? Really? He’s Monica’s son, for Pete’s sake.) Sam goes with Danny to give Monica some flowers. Jason says to Patrick, “I take it you’re not a member of the Jason Morgan fan club?” And Patrick says, “Far from it.” We’re off to a great start. Although it’s probably not much different from many family gatherings at Thanksgiving.

Carrrlos texts Sabrrrina and I faint dead away because he is so smooth. Dr. Andre and Anna are having coffee. Anna says, “You know I killed someone and I know you’re single and from the Midwest.” Ha-ha! Dr. Andre says they’ll have to rely on each other’s discretion.  He asks if she’s free from the ghost of Carrrlos now. Anna just happens to have the pendant with her in a plastic bag and gives it to him, saying that ghosts don’t drop keepsakes. Oh, okay, so she’s not so jazzed she didn’t come to that conclusion. Hide, Carrrlos! Hide!

Laura asks Lulu what she’d do in an ideal world. She says she would fix it. Laura says maybe she can’t trust Dante, but she can trust in their love for one another. And she ought to know, since she’s certainly put in her time with Luke.

Valerie asks Dante if the papers came about because of her email thanking him. He says he can’t continue to be questioned about his every move. I’d agree with this if more time had passed, but it was five minutes ago and he continues to work with Valerie.

Lulu says she’s hurt and angry, but she doesn’t want to lose everything she loves. Laura says she should go and tell Dante how she really feels. Lulu says she’s going right now. Can I call them or what? Back at the apartment, Valerie’s team has a last minute win. They hug. And then they kiss. 3…2…1…

Ha-ha! Alexis says she cooked everything herself and Ava produces a receipt. Alexis says she didn’t lie; it was home cooked, just not by her.

Patrick says it’s unlikely Jason will regain his memory after all this time, which I know is true and he’s not saying it maliciously. Jason says he just hates disappointing the people who love him. Patrick says, “Like Sam?” because he can’t act like a grown-up at this moment, and Jason replies, “Like Sam,” because he is a grown-up.

Elizabeth has corralled Sam. She says they should find a way to get along for the boys’ sake. Sam’s like, sure, since you got what you wanted. Elizabeth takes that as a no and takes her marbles and goes to the other side of the room

Suddenly, the lights go out. So I guess it won’t be Paul’s fault.

HA! HA! HA! The rest of the neighborhood has power. It is Paul’s fault. They blew a fuse with the deep fryer. The side dishes hadn’t been heated up either. The oven is electric and the deep fryer is fried, so a generator is out. And the electrician is at his own Thanksgiving meal. Pizza is officially suggested. By Jason. A hush falls over the room.

Anna says either someone is messing with her or Carrrlos is alive. She says if he is, it gives her leverage with her blackmailer. Dr. Andre says she needs to be careful, but since they’ve already blurred the lines, to call him any time. And it doesn’t have to be for a session. Hmm…

Paul gets a text that a shipment is coming in and he calls Ava to be ready. I expect to never know what’s in that shipment, since I still don’t know what Sonny imports after all these years.

The pizza arrives. Monica asks Jason if he remembers the yearly pizza incidents, but he says no, he just thought it would be fast and easy. Monica is like okay…. Michael gives a toast that’s as boring as he is, and gives thanks for Jason’s return. He quotes Jason as having said, “The secret to living well is not to stay down.” Whether he remembers or not, Michael says, Jason is surrounded by people who love him and welcome home.

They sing We Gather Together and I tear up, getting serious nostalgia feels. Thanks for keeping the Thanksgiving traditions alive, GH!

Laura suggests Lulu wait. Dante pushes Valerie away, but she dives right back in. Witch! They start getting naked. Double witch! I hate them both.

Everyone in Port Charles says what they’re grateful for. Mostly jobs in a world where most soap operas are but a distant memory and they’re still going after 50 years.

Next week – tomorrow is a rerun and it’s college football on Friday (pfft!)  — things come to a head between Dante and Lulu.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! See you after Z-Nation on Friday.

 

Nov25

November 23, 2015 — GH, a Yachtee Reunion & Quotes

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Carrrlos makes tea and toast for Sabrrrina – to settle her stomach after the shock of seeing him.

Paul tells Ava that Kiki has been arrested.

Nathan asks Kiki if she’s hungry because they have donuts. Hahahahaha! Imagine that. Donuts in a police station.

Lulu brings Maxie back to the apartment to get some things. She says it’s officially over with Dante.

Sam comes home to Patrick. He asks how the trip was. How much time does he have? He asks if she found what she was looking for and she says she did. What? A dead Helena? Not that I believe it. Sam says the way Nicholas reacted, she “thinks” Helena is dead. Since he had virtually no reaction, I’m wondering what she’s talking about. She says when she was with Jason, it felt like she was with a buddy, not her husband.

Dante whines to Michael that he should have seen what was going on with Morgan. Then he whines about Lulu accusing him of something he didn’t do.

Lulu says she wants to tear the place apart for signs of Valerie cheating with Dante. Maxie tells her don’t go down that road, and then Lulu finds a renegade lipstick tube in the bathroom.

Ava asks Paul to do something to help Kiki. He acts like he never heard of such a thing before. He says if he starts cleaning up her messes, it will be a red flag that they’re working together. Okay…

Jordan tells Nathan he has a personal connection to the case, and she’ll be handling Kiki’s case from now on. Like this has ever been an issue before.

Carrrlos says circumstances allowed him to fake his own death, then asks Sabrrrina if it’s his baby she’s having.

Dr, Andre comes to visit Morgan at the hospital. (Maddox, his name is Andre Maddox.) Dr. Andre asks if anything has been stressing him out, and Morgan says pretty much his whole life. I can identify. Dr. Andre says he wouldn’t be a good doctor if he went by someone else’s diagnosis, so he wants to run some tests to see what’s up with Morgan.

Christina – the mystery kid who shows up once in a while – is there for Thanksgiving. Dr. Andre tells Sonny it’s too early for a diagnosis and he wants to observe Morgan for a while.

Sabrrrina tells Carlos it’s not his baby and she’s with Michael now. He’s not buying it and neither am I. What’s she going to do when that baby comes out with a moustache and beard?

Paul asks Jordon what’s up with arresting Kiki like he doesn’t know it all already. Jordan fills him in, but says they probably won’t be able to get the DUI to stick, since there were no tests taken. Ava arrives and tells Kiki not to say anything until she gets a lawyer and Kiki tells her to piss off.

Maxie tells Lulu that the lipstick was a Christmas gift from her, which apparently she wasn’t too crazy about. Lulu says she can never trust Dante again, and Dante walks in. He asks what they’re doing there. Is he a total idiot? Don’t answer that. I already know.

Morgan, Sonny and Carly have a conversation so boring, I tune out.

Lulu says she’s there to pick up some stuff. Dante sees the separation papers and Lulu says he was the one who said they’re done. Dante starts getting stupid, making up things that haven’t happened yet. Lulu tells Maxie to hit the road. She and Dante need to talk.

Sam says she had to go halfway around the world to find out her answers were inside her all the time. Then she clicks her ruby slippers and tells Patrick she realizes how much she loves him.

Carrrlos says since everyone thinks he’s dead, they’re free to leave the country. Sabrrrina says her life is there with her baby’s father. If she doesn’t want to go, I will totally volunteer for this mission. Idiot Michael knocks at the door and interrupts my fantasy.

Michael is banging at the door and Carrrlos isn’t budging. Sabrrina says if he knows what’s good for him, he’ll hide in her bedroom while she answers the door. He makes a smart remark about her bedroom, but gets off the couch. Sabrrrina asks Michael to bring the car around while “she looks for her scarf.”

Lulu says she doesn’t see any other way. Dante says they need to work it out. Lulu says she doesn’t want to even look at the bed he and Valerie slept in. Dante suggests they move and asks how he can regain her trust.

Maxie (and Nathan?) are going to spend the holiday in Portland, but Maxie is doing some last minute work in the interrogation room because it’s quieter than the office.

Carly says she wants to drop the charges against Kiki. Jordan says it’s Paul’s call. Paul says it’s Thanksgiving and he’s in a good mood, so okay! Jordan lets Kiki go. Ava tries to get her to go to her place, but Kiki totally ignores her and leaves with Carly to see Morgan.

Since it’s Thanksgiving in Port Charles, I’m guessing we’re getting a rerun on the actual day.

Boring Sonny talks to boring Morgan, who says he should have gone to the doctor when they first told him to. He says he’s scared. Can we get back to Carrrlos?

Sam acts all ridiculous over how much she loves Patrick.

Sabrrina tells Carrrlos he can’t stay. He says he’ll go, but what happens next? She doesn’t answer him.

Lulu says Dante can’t glue things back together and ignore the cracks. I guess what she means by that is they can’t pretend nothing happened and need to get to the root of the problem.

Ava thanks Paul. He says he did it for Carly. Ava asks him if he’s falling for her trailer park allure. He says that’s not it, that it’s to deflect the attention from himself. Paul tells her to keep her eye on the prize – bringing down Sonny.

More boring stuff with Sonny and Morgan. Carly brings in Kiki. Morgan apologizes and Kiki says she’s just glad he’s all right. Carly asks her to join them for Thanksgiving dinner in the cafeteria.  Bobbie shows up with some huge bags of food. They have everything set up by the time the commercial break is over.

Maxie says that she’s putting work aside until Monday and her attention is now totally on Nathan and Georgie. I guess he is going.

Carrrlos is not believing that Sabrrrina’s baby isn’t his, and says he’s not going anywhere. He says this to himself, since she left with Michael.

Sonny runs down all the problems everyone has and what they should be grateful for. Zzzzzzz….

Lulu leaves Dante alone in the apartment. How long before Valerie shows up?

Paul has to go to the Quartermaines’. Ava asks if he’d like to stay for dinner, but he says his son is expecting him.

I am going to pass out if Sonny doesn’t stop talking. Honestly, I can’t take it.

Tomorrow, I’m right about Valerie, and a Quartermaine Thanksgiving. Pizza for everyone!

Below Deck – Reunion Part 1

This time, the yachtees get out of the clubhouse and get a real reunion room.

We start off with TMI from Emile. Moving on immediately. They talk about their favorite charter guests this season, and I’m with Eddie that it was Steve with his foam party.

We get to see a little behind-the-scenes, and wow! it’s close quarters with the film crew there. It’s pretty amazing that we never even see them by accident. Andy asks who the blip Rocky is looking at during her individual interviews, because she  tends to look up at the sky. She says sparkling butterflies and I wouldn’t be surprised. Eddie says something innocuous, and Rocky asks if his girlfriend is there, like the nasty brat she is.

Amy gets it right in saying that Kate is no-nonsense, wants to get the job done, and on a charter there’s no time for fooling around. Rocky whines about how underappreciated she was, but Captain Lee says she’s not giving an accurate depiction of how she was treated. He says she didn’t set her personal sh*t aside. Even Andy says she was a big complainer. Kate says she had no experience when she said she did. Kate says she’d prefer not having her professional and personal character slandered when all she wants is to get her job done.

Andy says Connie flourished while Rocky floundered. Eddie says he and Kate’s styles are different, but I say it’s more like Connie has a work ethic. Rocky acts offended because although Amy sympathized with her, she was still friendly to Kate. Because she’s in middle school. Rocky says she felt bullied by Kate and Kate should get a medal for hurting people’s feelings.

Andy pulls out the tweets. Kate had a lot to say about Rocky, and Rocky says she’s straight-up evil. Why is it so many people don’t understand that it’s called work for a reason?

Andy talks about Eddie’s full plate: losing two deckhands while training a new one, and dealing with his girlfriend. And of course there’s the whole Rocky debacle. He admits to letting his personal business get in the way of his work business. Connie says Eddie was a fantastic teacher and never made her feel inferior. Maybe that’s because she actually paid attention.

Andy asks Emile if it’s hard to be “pretty.” He says that he often has to work against type. I guess we’re leaving his emotional IQ out of this conversation. Andy brings up Emile calling Connie a “whore” for absolutely no reason. He says he can’t and won’t even try to justify it. Connie is a good sport though, saying she has brothers and is used to having her buttons pushed. Emile talks about coming from South Africa and the conflict there. Captain Lee pats Emile on the back for picking himself back up even when he made errors.

Andy brings up the undercooked (dare we say “raw?”) chicken that Rocky cooked for the crew. Amy says the salad was great, and the parts that were cooked were healthy and good. Andy reads a tweet from someone who says no culinary school would suggest grenadine on oysters. Rocky says she just did it to add color. Amy says she has a hard time taking instruction. Rocky says when she cooked the guests’ dinner, they loved it. We flash back to that and, no.

Amy says that Rocky was difficult, and Rocky runs down a list of complaints, including how much of an a-hole Eddie was. Kate says nobody wants to hear it and she’s talked enough. Rocky says, “You’re not my chief stew right now, baby,” and I want to smack her. I hate when people say “baby” or “honey” or whatever in a derogatory way. It’s worse when it’s a man, but I don’t like when a woman does it either.

Kate says she got tips she didn’t earn. Even though Rocky says she hated being a stew, it turns out she’s working for Captain Alex from season one (he was Captain Lee’s second in command). We’ll see how that goes. He didn’t seem like an idiot.

We move on to how Emile eats like a Neanderthal. Andy says he’s a lesson on how not to get a date – drink excessively, say mildly creepy things, creep out your date so much she has to dive overboard. Ha-ha! Rocky says she was never serious about him. Andy asks if Rocky led him on, and Emile says yes. Of course it’s yes. We all saw it. Rocky apologizes and says she’s glad they can still be friends, adding insult to injury. They talk about the kiss off letter Rocky publicly left for Emile because she couldn’t end things like an adult, and she acts like it was the only option. Captain Lee interjects that she led Emile on and needs to own it. He says, “When you get caught with your tit in the wringer, guess what? You put it there,” and I fall off my chair. I love the captain’s witticisms and this one is a classic.

Don the Engineer comes out. He says usually how it works is that you’re an engineer first and deckhand second. Connie says no matter how specific the instructions, he wanted to do it his way, and that’s not how it works on charter. Even Emile sounds more mature than Don. Andy asks why he would jeopardize his job by following Rocky into the water, and he has no sensible answer. They move on to his leaving mid-charter.

Andy says Don’s replacement, Dane, was invited, but has cut off all communication. I guess his 15 minutes wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. Andy asks when Captain Lee realized Dane was a problem. The captain recalls him driving the jet ski into side of boat, drinking half a bottle of Jack on his break, and says there was an endless list. Andy asks how close Eddie and Dane were to coming to blows. Eddie says that the night of the beach party, it was late and the owners were leaving. They were gracious enough to tell them to continue to drink, but write it down on the bill. Dane took it as free reign to go crazy.

To his credit, Don apologizes to the captain and the entire crew for leaving them in the lurch. Exit Don.

Emile looks like he’s going to fall asleep. A stagehand brings him something in a can. Probably either Red Bull or or one of those cheap vodka drinks.

They talk about the battle between Kate and Chef Leon. We get some flashbacks of his idiocy. Kate says she’s never had such a toxic relationship with a co-worker. Andy says she can be a snob about being a yachtee. I don’t think she started out that way with him though and it is a certain way of working. Chef Leon also declined to come to the reunion. Rocky is still in contact with him, and says that when he left, he was done. She starts tearing up for some stupid reason and acts like he was treated unfairly because he was criticized behind his back. Amy says Rocky did her share and we see that. They forget all this stuff is on film, and think we have short term memory loss. Kate says his cooking was repetitive and he was a one-trick pony wit hthe beef cheeks, but the real problem is that he couldn’t go with the flow and he lacked skill. Emile says he talks to him too. He’s working on a yacht and it was just the wrong boat for him. This could be true. I had a musical comedy class like that. I took it nearly three times before I realized it just wasn’t a good fit. Eddie says he didn’t seem to care and could have been more passionate and respectful. He did not come off well in some of his individual interviews either. In one, he said he liked to make the girls working for him in the kitchen cry. Rocky acts like he never sad that and it was completely due to editing. Captain Lee says no one told him what to say. He points out a few other nasty things Leon did and said, and calls Rocky out. Go, Captain Lee!

They discuss the fire. Rocky again says it was the fault of the empty pans being in the oven. Once again, Captain Lee interjects, saying it was the skuzzy oven, and that Rocky had even mentioned how filthy it was the day before. He says it was also Leon’s responsibility not to be napping when the guests wanted food. Rocky says she saw a mug nearby with wine in it. I know where she’s going with this and she is such a freaking snot rag.

Rocky says she told Eddie that Kate had been drinking from the mug and Eddie poured it out saying, we take care of our own. Andy asks Kate if she was drinking. Kate says she’d been making popcorn for the guests, and when she went back downstairs, the place was on fire. She also says it

Next : Eddie did it again with Rocky after the show???! What is wrong with him?

Quotes of the Week from The People’s Couch

Because I can’t pick just one.

I’m getting dumber just witnessing it. Brandy, referring to Eddie and Rocky from Below Deck, talking about who initiated their hook up.

I wanna be with them when the damn zombie apocalypse jump off. That’s who you want to be with. Mr. Zeno referring the The Alaskan Bush People.

I’m not going to limit my life to this little rectangle. Teddi, referring to her tablet.

Nov24

November 23, 2015 — GH,SUR & Vicki

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Anna makes an appointment with Dr. Andre, but says she has nothing to say. Well, there’s a waste of everyone’s time and money. Dr. Andre says he thinks it all has something to do with Duke. I finally had to look up Dr. Andre’s name, since no one will say it. I can’t believe I can’t get it to stick in my head when I used to go to a Dr. Andre.

Michael asks Sabrina why she canceled the sono.

Carly tells Sonny she thinks Morgan is in trouble. To back this up, Morgan acts like he’s out of his mind at the cabin. He runs outside and Kiki hears a gunshot.

Jason asks Helena how he can get his memory back.

Carly says Morgan has been more reckless than usual and she thinks he’s building to a manic episode. Building? He’s there. Morgan tells Kiki he just shot at a branch, but he’s sure there’s something out there and to stay inside and get down. Great.

Anna says peace isn’t an option for her at this point and she has a flashback of shooting Carrrlos. She tells Dr. Andre she was thinking about Duke.

Sabrrrina says the more she invests in the baby, the greater she’ll feel the loss if she doesn’t go to term. Michael asks if she’s not afraid he won’t stick around, and that he won’t be like that; he can’t wait for the baby to come. Until it comes out with an accent. Michael’s phone rings. It’s Kiki who tells him Morgan needs him.

Sam asks if there isn’t an antidote. Helena says Sam has an overactive imagination. She says she had nothing to do with Jason’s memory loss and there’s no such thing as an amnesia drug. (Ok, but I guess you can freeze someone for years and they wake up good as new.) Jason realizes that he lost his memory when he was in the car accident and Helena wasn’t involved with that. Jason asks who else knew his real identity. I doubt Helena is going to out Nicholas, but who knows with her.

Kiki explains what’s going on and Michael rushes out. Felix comes in and scolds Sabrrrina for not telling Michael about her concern that it’s Carrrlos’s baby.

Anna talks about her relationship with Duke, the ups and downs, and how they still loved each other no matter what. She said they became agonizingly close to making it, but then he was gunned down, collapsed when he got to her, and died in the hospital. Check Cassadine Island. Maybe he’s in the freeze tank. She tells the doctor that Julian was the man behind the murder, but Carrrlos carried it out. Instead of going after Carrrlos to turn state’s evidence, she killed him.

Carly and Sonny argue over who’s responsible for Morgan not seeing a shrink. I guess it couldn’t possibly be Morgan, since he’s 12. Michael pops into the gym and tells them that he heard from Kiki and thinks he knows where they are.

Kiki can’t find Morgan and picks up the phone to call Carly. Morgan comes in behind her and asks who she’s calling.

Helena likes how Jason gets to the point. She says she’s a connoisseur of irony and the room is filled with it. Boy, did she get that right. She calls out all the idiots as always. She reminds Elizabeth of her baby charade, and says she (meaning herself) has done worse, but never claimed to be an innocent flower. Sam tells her to quit stalling and Nicholas says she’s not, she doesn’t know the answer. Au contraire, Helena says, she’s going to make their trip worthwhile. I love her so much!

Anna says according to criminal justice, she murdered Carrrlos, even though she tried to kid herself that she did the world a good deed. Dr. Andre says he’s choosing to keep her confidence, and she needs to process what she did and how it’s affected her view of herself. Anna tells him someone else knows and is holding it over her head.

Carly and Michael leave for the cabin. Epiphany tells Sonny he has to stay. I’m sure she’ll be sitting at the mob boss table in no time, since she has the personality for it.

Morgan wants to know why Kiki was trying to call Carly, since they’re in this together. She tells him he’s making her nervous with the gun and to put it down. Surprisingly, he does. Then he tries to put the moves on her.

Helena tells Jason that the life he had is over, and he should figure out how to work with what he has now. Jason asks again who knew he was Jason. Helena starts to tell him and – you’ve got to be kidding me – she goes unconscious. With no warning? This is just not fair and I am not amused.

Anna says she can’t risk exposing her blackmailer. She says she’s going to comply until she’s in a position to turn the tables. Time’s up! Dr. Andre says it was a positive step and Anna thanks him.

Elizabeth tries CPR. The doctor comes in and pronounces Helena dead. I refuse to believe it. Nicholas tells the doctor to fix it and he says he can’t. I still refuse to believe it. Nicholas says he wants “a moment,” and the others leave. He tells Helena that he assumes she didn’t want it to end like this. And I still refuse to believe it. We thought Glenn from The Walking Dead was dead too, until last night. Get that woman into the freezer stat!

Carly shows up at the cabin with Michael and Max. Michael gives the gun to Max. Morgan whines that no one is taking Kiki away from him. Has he confused her with the gun? Carly says they’re there to help him.

Felix wants to cancel his Thanksgiving plans, but Sabrrrina says she can handle things and that she finally sees a way forward.

Anna thought she saw a way forward, but then sees Carrrlos. I guess that session didn’t exactly set everything right. I swear, Carrrlos is getting more play on this show dead than he did alive.

Epiphany says Carly is very capable and a great mom, so Sonny has nothing to worry about. She tells him that he’s no angel, but he’s always done right by his children. Sonny frets that Morgan got his mental illness from him.

Morgan insists Kiki doesn’t want to leave. Kiki says she’s the one who called Michael. Carly tells Morgan that she’s sure he’s feeling awesome right now, but it’s going to change when he comes down. He says he’s changed his mind about seeing a shrink and doesn’t want to. Carly says she loves him and won’t give up on him. She says if he gets evaluated at the hospital, and they say there’s nothing wrong, she’ll back off. Morgan tries to leave, but Max grabs him

Elizabeth tries to say everything’s cool and let’s go home. Jason says too bad about Helena, he wants to know the truth now. Nicholas tells him the Jason he knew wouldn’t be wallowing in self-pity, so apparently his face isn’t the only thing that changed. I’m not sure where he’s getting the self-pity thing from though. Why shouldn’t he want to know?

Anna chases Carrrlos’s ghost and finds a pendant on the ground. It’s engraved with Carrrlos and Sabrrrina. Just as I’m about to say that ghosts don’t wear jewelry, Carrrlos shows up at Sabrrrina’s door. YEEESSS! Although it’s probably not good to startle a pregnant woman like that.

Jason attacks Nicholas. He tells him to go ahead and grieve, but he’ll see him later. The doctor says Helena’s passing was unexpected, that he thought she had at least a few months. Well, I think she still does because I don’t believe it. Elizabeth takes Jason by the hand like he’s one of her kids and they leave with Sam in the rear.

Nicholas tells Helena that he hated her as much as he respected her, that she was elegant, fearless and didn’t give a rat’s ass what anyone thought about her. He says he’ll find a way to grieve and I fully expect her to sit up and slap him upside the head.

Sonny tells Epiphany how he hid his illness so no one would think he was weak, and he gave Morgan the same attitude. He says Morgan doesn’t want to take the medication and give up the highs, and admits he feels the same way, but still takes his meds.

Morgan tells Carly and Kiki he hates them as Max and Michael drag him out the door.

Tomorrow, more Carrrlos!

Vanderpump Rules

Katie has a fashion blog, and is discussing her vision with Scheana. Scheana fills in Katie and Schwartz on her talk with Lisa about Shay. Schwartz has been knocked for a loop that Shay is having addiction problems. Well, Scheana was good at keeping it a secret and then let everyone know at once.

Scheana is doing a photo shoot for Katie’s blog, but she’s having a hard time putting on her happy face.

Lala is at the SUR register and Jax comes over to bother her. Jax is just so undesirable, I don’t get why all the ladies are attracted to him. I guess Lala is from Utah, and Jax asks some obscene TMI questions about Mormons. We all know Jax has a foot fetish and it makes me think about that too. Lisa breaks up the conversation because, you know, you’re supposed to work at work.

Lisa basically says don’t crap in your own backyard, and doesn’t like that out of all the women in L.A., Jax has to bug her hostess. Jax’s not-a-girlfriend-yet is going to be moving to L.A. and Lisa says she’s in for some disappointment since Jax doesn’t know what the word “commitment” means.

The guys all go for a night out. James talks about how often he and Kristen break up. He says all they do is fight until they find something new to fight about. They’re going for counseling, and Tom says the therapist is going to end up needing a therapist. Schwarz is acting all mature and talking about getting a real job.

Jax asks what they think about Lala. James is obviously getting quite intoxicated and a lot of animation goes along with it. He says something that barely makes sense; so much so, that I can’t even put it together in my head to type out.

James wakes up with a hangover – and Kristen in his face. Who needs this kind of life? She talks to him like she’s his mom. He says he’s been away for 38 seconds, and it’s already the worst day of his life.

They go to couples therapy. Kristen says she’s been going to therapy for 9 months (!) already and it’s done a world of good. I think she’s wasting her money. The therapist says it sounds like there’s some unhealthy things happening. This is an understatement. She says they have to stop the retaliation thing. James lists the lies that Kristen has told in the past, and says she tries to parent him. (What did I say?) Kristen claims he has a lack of responsibility. She talks about him cheating with her ex-friend, Jenna. James lied and told her that he only made out with Jenna, so I’m not sure if she considers that cheating or if she knows he really did have sex with Jenna. The therapist asks if they want to work it out or do they just want to stay angry and keep hurting each other? Kristen says what they’re doing isn’t working (another understatement) and James heaves a huge sigh.

Swartz, Ariana, Tom and Katie are triple dating with Peter and his girlfriend, Sara. Sara has a 4 year old, and Schwartz says they’ve never met a grown-up before. Ha-ha! They all discuss their views on marriage. Tom says he could see getting married, but Ariana isn’t so sure that’s what she wants. Everyone looks at Schwartz because it’s down to the wire with Katie’s proposal ultimatum.

Tom brings up Shay. Schwartz says it’s obvious he and Scheana aren’t communicating. Well, yeah, he hasn’t been home in days. Ariana says they’re both good at putting up a happy front. They talk about Shay’s drinking and how it’s just depressing him more. Tom says because Shay isn’t bringing in the bucks right now, he feels inferior. He thinks they should have a couple’s intervention.

James flirts with Lala at the first opportunity.

Tom and Schwartz want to approach Lisa about an idea. Schwartz says that he’s been on enough auditions to know you have to dress the part, so they wear their business attire. Or what passes for that in L.A. They go to Lisa’s phenomenal house, Villa Rosa. First, Tom talks about Shay. They agree that he’s feeling emasculated. Tom asks if Lisa could give him a job at PUMP. She says he needs to get clean and sober before he can execute a work plan, and she doesn’t think working in a bar will help. She does say that she’s impressed with their concern for their friend. So am I.

Pandora and her husband, Jason, are also there, looking gorgeous as ever. Tom talks about how he goes back to St. Louis once a year and he’s well-known there and wants to promote Lisa’s sangria. Pandora says she gets it, but she thinks it should be a global endeavor. Lisa says the guys probably don’t quite understand how big this could be. Pandora says they constantly get resumés, but of course they’d rather go with local people they know. She says they’d have to take it seriously, not like they do their jobs at SUR. Lisa tells them to think about it. Schwartz says walking out with a homework assignment wasn’t ideal, but it was better than a no.

Schwartz and Katie come to visit Scheana, who’s waiting for Shay to come home. Tom and Ariana follow. Scheana says Shay is more comfortable talking in a group setting, so she’s invited them there for…what? I guess to discuss their issues. Shay comes in. Hugs all around.  Shay and Scheana both start crying.

Shay says he’s been going through a lot of personal stuff and he’s been staying with his parents. He says he got everyone’s messages, but needed space. Tom asks if he feels like he’s addicted to the. Shay says he’s been taking five a day and at max, ten. I’m pretty sure no doctor is prescribing ten a day unless you’re dying. He says he’s been on them since he’s known them, which is definitely news. He says he was afraid of being judged, so he never said anything. Scheana says she didn’t realize she’d married an addict and she feels like he’s miserable with her. She says she’s been unhappy and lonely, and why did he marry her? Tom tells her to pull back. Shay says he’s intimidated by her, that when he expresses himself, she interrupts him and controls the conversation. He says he’d rather just stay in the background. Ariana says Shay needs to be more assertive and Scheana needs to give it a rest.

Shay apologizes and says he’s back to stay. He says he has to work on some things and Scheana says he needs to be more forward and cut her off. He needs to tell her to stop and let him finish. I like the both of them and hope they’re able to work things out. I don’t think either one of them is the brightest bulb in the box, but that’s less important than their good hearts.

Jax brings not-quite-a-girlfriend, Britney, in for an interview at PUMP. Once again, she shows up underdressed. Lisa asks for her resumé, and once again, she doesn’t have it. Has she ever had a job before? Lisa asks where she’s worked. Hooters. I’m not making that up either. Yes, I know it’s a job, but she might as well have said McDonald’s. Lisa says it’s good she didn’t bring her resumé, because it gives her a reason to say it’s not going to work out. She tells Britney that it’s a problem because she’s dating Jax. Jax says they don’t have to work at the same restaurant, but she tells them inter-company dating isn’t encouraged. Bye, Felicia.

Shay and Scheana are having dinner on tray tables. She says she can’t wait until they eat like humans at a real dining table. He feels he hasn’t been able to get a word in edgewise, and she says she’s working on it. Shay says he wants to leave the person he was behind. Apparently, Scheana doesn’t understand addiction, because she says in her individual interview that she doesn’t think a completely sober person would be fun to be married to, and thinks it’s okay for him to just get a buzz on once in a while. Then she presents him with a drug test, and says she’ll give him a pass on weed. If I was him, I’d be stocking up on those loose joints from the park right now. She says she wants to be able to trust him again, and I get where she’s coming from, but geez. Overwhelm him why don’t you?

Cool! Julie and Brandy from The People’s Couch are doing commercials for Bravo now – and hosting the Vanderpump Rules after show.

Scheana sits down with Lisa. She says that they had a good conversation and thinks they’re on the right track. Lisa says that he’s been on drugs for 8 years, so it’s not going to happen overnight. Lisa says how does she know he’s not lying? Scheana says because she’s giving him urine tests. Lisa says that’s not the foundation for a healthy marriage.

Next week, Kristen and James call it quits, and Kristen confronts Lala about James. Scheana continues to be delusional.

Watch What Happens Live – One on One with Vicki Gunvalson

Andy starts off with discussing City of Hope having issued a statement that they’d never treated Brooks. Vicki talks about how she actually met him there, supposedly after a chemo treatment, and they were all over the place. I gotta hand it to him. If this was a ruse, it was certainly a complicated one. Seriously.

Andy asks if she was vulnerable because her love tank was empty. She says she definitely had blinders on about a lot of things. She says he was so attentive, it was like she had a wife. He sounds like he was a decent boyfriend. It’s just all so bizarre.

They go through a lot of the medical stuff, how it didn’t make sense, and how Brooks had an answer for everything. She says that once the women started “circling,” she was arguing with him every night. She was obviously questioning the whole thing too, but what? Didn’t want it to blow up on TV? None of this makes me dislike Meghan any less though. I’ve said it before that I think the death of Vicki’s mother caused her to have a breakdown or a disconnect (word of the day) or whatever, and that the women’s approach to her was all wrong, especially Meghan, who she didn’t know from a hole in the ground.

Brooks did really show symptoms of being sick, and someone suggested to Vicki that he was ingesting eye drops (!) to get violently ill. Andy asks if she thinks he has cancer and she says no. Vicki says that she thinks because no one liked Brooks to begin with, he concocted this whole thing to get sympathy and be relatable. Again, my hat’s off to him for being so detailed and dedicated.

Andy says that the women, as well as many viewers, think she was in on it. I don’t. I think she was delusional and had the love blinders on, but I don’t think she was in on some kind of plot. Vicki makes individual public apologies to everyone. Vicki says she messed up by not believing the girls, but she wasn’t being malicious. She said she had to come to the truth in her own time. Andy reads a tweet (ugh!) from Gretchen, who is surprisingly sympathetic, especially since she lost her fiancé to cancer.

Vicki says if she had it to do over, she wouldn’t have divorced Don. She’s going to see him over Thanksgiving. Oddly enough the psychic who started the whole Brooks thing had said they would get back together. Vicki says that would be great from her end, but she doesn’t think Don has gotten over the hurt.

Andy asks if she’s afraid of Brooks. It doesn’t seem so, and really, there isn’t much he can do to her. Send mean tweets? Please.

Vicki talks about the position she was in. Her mother dying, Brooks having been diagnosed (as far as she knew), her family being far away, and being all alone filming a reality show. She said it was easier to fix what she had than to start over. Andy asks if she’s in denial over the severity of the situation. She says she hopes Brooks loved her, doubts he did, but she’s not in denial.

Vicki looks good. The whole thing is just sad, and I hope she’s able to move on. I think she is. It’s those others I’m concerned about.

Nov21

November 20, 2015 — Cassadines, Mini Chefs & Corporate Zombies

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital — Thursday

Nina tells Franco she called every lawyer except Ric, but everyone is unavailable. Franco says that’s okay, he’s been in jail so often, he has a rewards card. Nathan says everything points to Franco’s car having run Carly off the road. Wouldn’t they have interviewed him before arresting him? Or at least asked him where he was?

Morgan tells Kiki about Franco’s arrest.

All righty then! I guess Nicholas and Hayden must have sealed the deal because they’re waking up together. Good. They’re one of the few couples I like. Lots of I love you stuff. Oh, thanks, GH. All of a sudden, Nicholas is trying to choke her and it’s all a dream.

Ha-ha! Jason drops down into the Cassadine mansion on a Mission Impossible rope, while the theme plays in my head. When a guard sees the rope and investigates, Jason jumps him.

Sam and Elizabeth are on the plane to Greece. Sam says Elizabeth is just trying to do damage control. She says Elizabeth is afraid that Helena will bring back memories, and that Jason will remember that Elizabeth could never accept him as he is. I wasn’t watching a lot during the whole Sam/Jason/Elizabeth storylines, so I really don’t know what went on. Probably when Jason remembers, I’ll get the lowdown.

No matter what Nathan says, Franco tells him it wasn’t me (meaning Franco, not me). Nathan says given Franco’s history with Carly, it might not have even been an accident. Franco says his car was in the garage all night, while he and Nina gave crappy candy to kids in crappy plastic costumes. He says the next day, he saw his car had been scratched. Nathan says it’s irrefutable that it was his car, so he must have gone out. Suddenly, Franco says it was his car.

Kiki tells Morgan that it was her, not Franco who had the car out, and she wants to turn herself in. Morgan asks her why. She says basic human decency. Wow. She actually knows what that is.

Hayden visits Sean in prison. He says that he didn’t mean to shoot her and was aiming for Jake Doe, and that he’s prayed she would be okay.

Jason steals the guard’s key card and let’s himself into…where?

Sam says she wants Jason to have his life back so he can make his own choices. Elizabeth says a bunch of really nasty stuff and Sam throws a drink at her. She should have aimed a little higher though. It mostly hit Elizabeth in the chest and not face. I assume this was a directional choice. It takes too much time to reapply makeup maybe?

Franco says that after Nina went to bed, he was restless and went out. It’s pretty obvious he’s making this up as he goes along. Nathan just sits there and watches Roger Howarth work. Nathan wants Franco to write out a statement.

Since everyone can just come and go in jail, Kiki and Morgan come in where Franco is being held.

The stewardess has to tell these two grown women to settle down. They should have had Obrecht play that part, since she’s playing a stewardess in the Fear: 462 web series. Elizabeth asks questions that are none of her business. Sam says Elizabeth isn’t Jason’s equal, she’s a damsel in distress and was his cross to bear. This time Elizabeth throws a drink.

Hayden tells Sean that Jake is Jason.

Oh man, this is good. Jason enters a room where a closed door opens to – Nicholas, who beat him there. I have to get one of those Star Trek transporters like these people have.

Commercial break. What is this “winter finale” business? Why don’t the networks just admit that there are no TV seasons anymore and they’ll put their shows on any time they damn well please.

Nathan asks if Nina is covering for Franco. She says no, he was with her all night.

Franco says he’s taking the blame for Kiki and Morgan thinks this is okay, since her life is getting better now. Yeah, let’s teach her about lack of responsibility while we’re at it.

Hayden tells Sean she’s 99.9% sure the bullet that hit her wasn’t from his gun.

The stewardess threatens Sam and Elizabeth, but gives them another chance. She says whoever Jason might be, God help him. Sam asks Elizabeth to agree that right now they’re in this for Jason. Elizabeth says it’s one of the rare times she’s glad Sam is with her because Jason needs them both.

Nicholas says he assumed Jason was going to pay a visit to his grandmother. Jason asks what he’s afraid of Helena saying. Nicholas says not everything’s about him, and that Helena has taken a turn for the worse and he’s there to say good-by. Ha! Helena took a turn for the worse decades ago, but that didn’t keep her from being pretty feisty.

Franco says that a DUI would be the cherry on Kiki’s lack of a future cake. He says he’ll just get off with a fine. He says there was no loss of life, so why ruin hers? Um…she doesn’t have to say she was drunk. I can’t believe she’s going along with this. What a couple of lowlifes she and Morgan are being. Morgan goes blah-blah-blah what a nice guy Franco is.

Nina grabs Kiki on her way out. Kiki asks how Nina’s job is going, and Nina asks how the drinking is going. Kiki says she hasn’t touched a drop in two whole days. I don’t think Nina is buying this. Yep, I’m right. She busts In on Franco and asks why he’s confessing to a crime he didn’t commit.

Sam thinks Nicholas is involved. Elizabeth says she doesn’t think Nicholas did anything but nose around.

Hayden asks Sean if he saw anyone else, but he says no. He asks if she told the police, but she says no, because the guy who’s the real shooter might get wise and finish the job.

Nicholas says he asked Helena about Jason, but she refuses to answer. He asks why Jason continues to pursue a life of misery when he has a new one waiting for him. Jason tells him he doesn’t want to shoot him, but he will, and pushes him back into Helena’s boudoir.

There she is! Helena on oxygen, but other than that, she looks pretty spry. She’s certainly not on her last legs. I think this is a set up.

Hayden says she can’t go to the crime scene to look for the bullet, and asks Sean what to do. He says he knows someone who can help her.

Helena says she can’t leave her bed. Jason says, gee, I guess no one would think she might be faking. She says it hurts when she laughs and he says good and I laugh. Helena says she’s ready to cross her last bridge and Mikos will be waiting for her, but only if she can right some wrongs. Ha! She called Elizabeth insidious. I love her. Suddenly, Elizabeth and Sam’s asses are dragged into the room by the guards.

Nina says she knows Franco is covering for Kiki. Nina says she understands, but he’s enabling her. Franco says he hates psychobabble. Nina says it’s the truth. She says as a parental figure, he has to teach her there are consequences for actions and she has to take responsibility. Nina says they’re both contributing to society now, and they’re good together, but how can they continue if he goes to prison? She’s concerned that Nathan will pursue specific charges because it was Carly. I can’t believe Nathan doesn’t see what’s going on. Are all the detectives here stupid?

Oddly enough, Kiki is the only one making sense. She doesn’t think Franco should take the rap and she needs to own up to her responsibility. Morgan is like, you deserve a break after all you’ve been through. She says how is she supposed to be a better person and live with herself if Franco ends up in prison. Morgan says she needs a big change and she should leave Port Charles with him. What? Are there some stupidity enhancers in the water?

Franco says as soon as Scotty is back, he’ll get him off the hook. Nina is skeptical that Nathan won’t throw the book at him. Nina tells Nathan that it was Kiki driving the car.

Morgan – who apparently has no job either – tells Kiki let’s just go without any timeline. He talks about going to some cabin and putting Port Charles in the rear view mirror, and he’s going to sing a Meat Loaf song any second. Is he in another manic phase? This is just a bad freakin’ idea and Kiki should know better when he says I don’t want to see a shrink. Continuing to be a moron, she agrees.

Sean tells Hayden to make whoever did this to her pay.

For a sick lady, Helena doesn’t seem to have slowed down much. She says it’s a fascinating conundrum for Jason, since his wife is there and brought his fiancé. She calls them “Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumber and I die laughing. She says she can rest when she’s dead.

Helena says in order to have redemption and see her beloved Mikos again, she has to tell Jason everything he needs to know.

Tomorrow, Helena talks, Morgan wears a weird hat and Epiphany smacks Sonny around.

General Hospital – Friday

Nina tells Nathan to let Franco go and arrest Kiki. Meanwhile, Kiki and Morgan arrive at his family’s cabin.

Sonny goes to the gym and after two seconds becomes a big baby and wants to go home. Too late, Epiphany blocks his exit.

Patrick clues Carly in on Jason and Sam going to Greece.

Helena says that returning little Jake is not the only contrition she has to make. She says there are some things that Jason might not want to know, but he says he wants to hear it all. So do I, so start talking, Helena.

Franco says he’s already signed a confession, so justice has won. Franco tells Nathan that Nina is just trying to cover for him, but he’s talking so fast and so much, I’m sure Nathan isn’t buying it. Yep. Nathan says he can’t believe he’s doing this, but calls to have the pictures pulled up from the car so he can get an ID on the driver.

Morgan finds fishing gear while Kiki tries to get a connection on her phone. She wants to call Franco, but Morgan says that it will just be a traffic violation for him and he’ll be out in no time. Morgan encourages her to go fishing, even though the cabin has everything. He’s definitely in a manic phase.

Epiphany (who I’m so glad is getting some screen time) tells Sonny he’s going to have to do his PT. He says it’s a gym for boxers and she counters with it’s a gym for fighters, and that’s what he is.

Carly argues with Patrick about the progress Jason has made. He complains about Sam going after Jason, and Carly says it doesn’t mean she loves him any less.

Helena says it’s tedious being in bed and she feels rejuvenated by having visitors. She gets all sarcastic with Elizabeth and I love it. She tells Jason his taste runs to insipid even without memories.   She says she’ll take as long as it amuses her. Sam asks what she did to Jason, and she says she saved his life. When Jason got shot, Helena’s associates scooped him out of the water and brought him to her. I’m being concise because she’s so full of funny, smart remarks, I can’t type it all that fast and I’m also trying to enjoy it.

Franco says he did the same thing for Nina, that he loves both her and Kiki in different ways. He says if she doesn’t understand that, maybe they should reevaluate their relationship. When Nathan produces the photo, Franco says it was Halloween and he was in a khaleesi costume. ROFL! Nina tells Nathan that the last time she saw Kiki, she was with Morgan.

Carly argues with Patrick who just isn’t having any because he’s almost a bigger baby than Sonny. Carly asks how he left things. Patrick says he was supportive and Sam said she’d come back to him, but he’s wondering if they’re kidding themselves. Carly gets a call from Nathan, who is looking for Morgan.

Kiki says she doesn’t want to stay that long at the cabin. Morgan says they’re wiping the slate clean and he wants to start over with her. He says that no one will ever find them there. Okay… Kiki tells him there isn’t “the two of us.” He says he’s not asking for anything but an adventure. Kiki says his family will miss him, but he says he’s just a drag to them. I concur. He says whatever she wants to do is fine, but he needs this. He asks if she wants to play cards and she says she wants to make it interesting.

Epiphany screeches at Sonny. She asks what he wants and he says to bash someone’s face in. She produces his boxing gloves. He says there’s no such thing as wheelchair boxing and she says he needs to get out more and to google it when he gets home. I guess there is such a thing then.

Carly storms into the police station and demands to know why Franco isn’t in handcuffs. Nathan tells her it was Kiki and she doesn’t believe it because she’s really ,really stupid, and can’t get a clue that Kiki was drunk. She insists that Franco is framing Kiki, but Nina says it was just the opposite and he’s noble as hell. Franco tries to call Kiki on the sly.

Morgan has apparently lost the card game and has to go jump in the water outside in his underwear. Franco gets through on the phone.

Patrick shows up at the gym. Sonny wants to school Patrick in boxing, because he doesn’t know enough to even wrap his hands.

Sam says she could have saved Jason. Helena says she would have retrieved a corpse if it hadn’t been for her. Sam says Helena has no clue what love is and that Mikos went off with her grandmother because Helena is unlovable. Oooh! Helena curses Sam and everyone close to her. She says Sam and her people will never know happiness. Could she please curse Elizabeth too, while she’s at it?

Carly can’t get through to Morgan. Franco tells Kiki that the police know what happened and tells her to run. Nathan grabs the phone, but it’s too late, they were cut off. Morgan comes back into the cabin after freezing his butt off in the water. Kiki says she feels sick. Morgan sees a message on his phone from Carly saying the police are looking for Kiki.

Sam says pfft! to Helena’s curse. Helena says just ask Luke and Laura about her curses. (That’s right! When she was Elizabeth Taylor, Helena cursed them at the wedding.) Elizabeth says let’s get out of here because she’s a wimp. Helena is like, why go before you get what you came for, and says her story has the power to change all of their lives. Oh boy! Oh boy! This new storyline could definitely take us through the new year.

Nathan asks Franco where Kiki is, and Franco acts cagey. Nathan says he’d be doing her a favor if he tells her to turn herself in. Franco is pissed at Nina for interfering. He says Nina needs some consequences, but stops short of saying he’s breaking up with her.

Kiki says they have to go back to Port Charles. She says Franco told her the police are looking for her. All the more reason not to go back, Morgan tells her. Morgan says he’ll tell Carly not to press charges, but Kiki says it’s probably not up to her. Morgan suggests they go to Canada. Kiki says he’s nuts (truth!) and then Morgan hears someone outside.

Sonny tells Patrick things might not turn out the way he thinks, and gives him boxing instruction.

Nicholas says Helena is getting tired and it’s time to take a break. Elizabeth says she probably doesn’t know anything and that Helena is weak and frail and should rest. Helena says how nice she’s concerned, but doesn’t she think Jason might want some answers. Sam says, are you saying you did this to Jason? Um…if that wasn’t the case, why would we even be here in the first place? For a smart woman, Sam often has trouble with the obvious.

Aww, Franco doesn’t really want to break up. He says he’s going to hide the remote so she’ll have to get up to change channels and when they get a dog, she’ll have to walk it. They say I love yous, and Nina says she’s sorry, but Kiki has to deal with her drinking.

Epiphany says Sonny did good today. Not just with the PT, but with encouraging Patrick. Carly comes in and asks Sonny if he’s seen Morgan, and explains what’s going on with the accident.

Uh-oh, Morgan thinks the cops are there and gets a gun. No good is going to come of this. Kiki says there’s no one there, but he loads the gun and says he’s going to protect her.

Sam says Helena must have wiped out Jason’s memory. Elizabeth says she did it to Lucky. Sam says Lucky was able to come back from it. Helena says anything is possible and Sam asks if she can do it.

Monday, Hleena plays more with her guests and Kiki hears a gunshot.

Master Chef Junior

In a nutshell. 8-year-olds cook better than I do, but are less realistic. They bring out astronaut Tracy Dyson, and one of the contestants says she would like to be a chef, a spy and an astronaut. Hmm…maybe kids are just more ambitious than I am.

Graham filets the most giant flat fish I have ever seen and it creeps me out a little.

I’m bucking for Avery to win.

Z Nation

We start with that piece of music from that commercial, you know what it is. Everything is in slo-mo, OBM fighting zombies in the woods. It also has an orange filter. So I’m assuming this is a dream. No, they’re apparently fighting in a way I’m unaccustomed to.

OBM find an abandoned hotel. It’s crawling with zombies outside, and Murphy works his magic. There are people inside. One says they can’t leave people outside and it’s been a year since they’ve seen anyone new. He slides open the door and all guns are on OBM.

The leader (Anthony Michael Hall) tells them to turn around. He introduces himself as Gideon Gould, saying he is a facilitator, but not leader – everyone participates in decision making. Gould tells them to put their weapons away. Someone suggests a “popcorn circle process.” Oh no, it’s the talking stick thing – whoever has the stick has the floor, and they pass it like a bowl of popcorn.  Gould was a corporate expert in corporate conflict resolution and they were all at his seminar when the apocalypse happened. Gould does an “honest inventory,” giving his honest impressions of them with no filter. Boy, he has them all down to a T. He gives Doc a hug. He tells Murphy he don’t get no respect. OMG – he is one of those corporate guys.

Murphy says now that they’re all friends and stuff, could they get some food. Roberta tells Gould that Murphy has a vitamin deficiency. Murphy says the corporate doublespeak is making him hungry. Gould takes Roberta and Addy aside, and  tells them they can stay as long as they like as long as they go by the system. Roberta says they won’t stay long because they have to be somewhere.

The guy who let them in, Iggy, takes 10K and Doc to the kitchen. He says he wants to leave but is always voted down. He was sent to the seminar to hone his people skills and has been there 4 years. Addy and Roberta go with popcorn woman (Dana) to the roof to try and get the satellite dish going. Dana says some people left and some were banished and they always came back zombies, so they stopped trying.

Dana says Gould is controlling and she’d like some open space. Addy says it ain’t what it’s cracked up to be. I think Dana is bucking to come along with OBM and also flirting with Addy.

A gunshot is heard. A group busts down a locked door and finds Murphy shot, along with another guy (Greg).

Commercial break. Holy! In the Heart of the Sea looks fantastic! Definitely worth seeing on the big screen. Even if you have to take out a second mortgage to buy a ticket and popcorn. Thank God for that dollar store at the mall. They have Boston Baked Beans and gummi bears too. The good gummi bears.

I’d totally tweet with Z Nation if I liked tweeting.

Vasquez says they have to mercy Greg before he turns. Doc says Murphy has a concussion or worse. Murphy is dreaming of being back at the canyon with the zombies going over the edge and he falls. Vasquez says he only heard one shot but there are 2 victims. He thinks the bullet passed through Murphy and hit the other guy in the heart. Doc says that’s why he’s not turning. The bullet had Murphy’s blood on it, so he’s going to be like Cassandra.

Roberta tells Gould she’s concerned about one of them having done this. Gould says violence begets violence. Another woman suggests maybe a member of OBM shot Murphy, since Vazquez let slip he’s their prisoner. They do the stick thing and point fingers at 10K. Dana gives the stick to Addy and she says 10K doesn’t miss. She says he might kick Murphy in the nuts, but would never try to kill him. 10K says Murphy isn’t his friend and he has reason to kill him. When the time comes, he will, but that time isn’t now.

Vasquez says he found a duffel bag of food and one of them was packing for a getaway. Murphy must have caught them. Gould says the punishment for stealing food is banishment. Gould points a finger at Iggy and says he ‘s the only one with a key and he wants to leave. Iggy says the place is a death trap and he wants everyone to leave. Gould yells at him and says tell the truth, and Iggy he attacks Gould. Gould says he’s out and Roberta says it’s a death sentence and at least give him a weapon. They boot iggy’s ass out with a Thor type hammer.

We don’t see what happens to him, but his yell tells me it’s probably not good.

Doc says Murphy isn’t doing so well, the bleeding has stopped, but he’s still unconscious. Roberta wants to get moving, but Doc says they could kill Murphy if they don’t wait. Doc has been soaking a rag in Murphy’s blood and letting Greg suck on it. He’s turning blue like Murphy. Roberta says to keep Murphy alive while she goes and climbs the corporate ladder.

10K listens in on a conversation between a man and a woman. The woman doesn’t want OBM there because it’s costing them food. Gould talks to Roberta and tries to explain the rules. He says at first, it was a real horror show with people trying to leave and they made it work by applying a system. There are zombies ensconced in some off limits rooms. Gould apologizes for the shooting.

Murphy is still having the zombie fantasies in his head.

Gould is looking for someone named Washington and a zombie pops out. 10K shoots it and the woman he saves turns into a zombie in like a second. She’s dispatched by Vasquez. Dana and Addy go down the hall toward some sounds. Dana thinks it’s zombies, but Addy says they’re human since they got quiet when the two approached.

We see the shadow of someone taking things outside and Dana just nods her head and let’s them pass. Addy doesn’t see this. Addy and Dana are in a closet hiding, and Dana asks Addy to take her along. She says she’s always afraid. She’s crying and she hugs Addy. Just in time Addy sees that Vaxquez and Roberta are aiming at the zombies and they duck to avoid getting shot.

They all return to Gould who asks to speak with Dana. Hmm…is he the guy with the suitcase?

Murphy’s visions are still going on, and suddenly they become real with a zombie breaking its head through the wall. Roberta cuts its head off, but others are banging to get in. Doc continues to feed Greg blood. Is he nuts or that bored? Roberta is like, maybe you should stop that, and Doc tells her the guy is getting better, but Murphy is still in dreamland.

10K says the hotel zombies are out and the gate isn’t going to hold. Zombies come busting in.

Gould asks Doc what’s going on. He says a blood transfusion with alternative medicine. Everyone starts to argue and they’re all talking at once with no stick. Roberta tells them to shut up and do their stick thing. Gould says the rules are more important than ever, so that they can find out who shot Greg. Greg is awake so Doc suggests the ask him. He points.

Commercial break. Krampus looks awesome too! Except I’ll save that one for the small screen, since it’s rated PG-13. The last time I saw a PG-13 movie, I felt like I was in the middle of a bus on a field trip. I have great peripheral vision too, and I could see phone screens for miles. Sometimes, I’d like to take one of those cell phones and – oops! show’s back on.

Greg poins at Guy Whose Name I Don’t Know. He says he’s not surprised a zombie figured it out before the corporate morons. He tells Dana to come with him. Dana tells Gould she’d rather take her chances out there than die listening to him in there. Her companion is shot, turns into a zombie and is given mercy. Dana tells Addy this isn’t what she wanted. Gould says it’s time for OBM to go. Vasquez draws his gun and Roberta says that unless the stick shoots something, they’ll be staying

There’s a knock at the door. It’s iggy. Alive. He says no thanks to any of them. Gould says he has the right to be angry because the process failed him and he’s sorry. Iggy laughs. Gould tells him to work through his feelings. Iggy takes the stick and beats Gould with it (it’s pretty big).

Murphy regains consciousness. He asks Doc what he missed. Suddenly, all the zombies outside leave. Murphy says he had the craziest dreams. I guess when he was unconscious, he couldn’t control them?

OBM is ready to leave. Roberta thanks them for the food and Iggy thanks her for the freedom. Iggy says they’ll be hitting the road too. One woman says she’s always wanted to see the Grand Canyon. Doc says it ain’t what it used to be.

Dana apologizes to Addy. Dana asks if there’s anything she can do to stay with Addy, but Addy says no. Doc & 10K banter about the corporate mentality. The truck pulls away with Addy looking wistfully out the back window.

Next week, Gina Gershon guests stars and is starting a new world order.

Nov19

November 18, 2015 — Loving, PC & LA

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

If Loving You Is Wrong

Randal tries to choke out Marcie. He’s gone absolutely crazy. He says he never threw his affair in her face and always protected her from knowing about it. This isn’t a very good argument. He says it just happened; he didn’t do it on purpose. Ugh! Even worse. Louise tries to intervene, but Marcie says she’ll sleep with Brad again. She’s going to find Alex’s calendar and she’s doing to do it for every time they did. Both of them refuse to leave. Randal says they’ll see who leaves first. Marcie says if he touches her again, his mother is going to be in a black dress watching Marcie piss on his grave. Holy! Tyler Perry can write them. I don’t think Louise should leave these two alone.

Marcie flounces out, saying come watch, and I assume she’s hunting down Brad, since no one has jobs anymore. I can’t believe Randal is supposed to be a psychologist when he’s the weirdest guy on the show. I’d take one look at him and say, no thanks, another doctor please.

Marcie traipses over to Brad’s and lays a big kiss on him. She goes into the house and Brad tells her to go upstairs, that he’s been waiting for her. Louise protests, but it’s useless. Randal drives off. Marcie tells Brad about how Randal tried to choke her. Marcie asks him for the calendar. Brad says she doesn’t want to see it, but she insists. This is all pretty sad.

Brad brings her the calendar. Oooh, she put grades on them too. Marcie says she wants to screw on every date in the book. Brad says there’s something she should know when there’s a knock at the door. It’s Louise, and she takes Marcie out the door. Oops! Here come Kelly and Ramsey. Marcie says it’s not a good time for her to think about real estate and she’ll call him.

Kelly follows her in, asking what happened. Marcie tells her about Randal. Kelly is like, you have to knock it off, and Louise introduces herself. Kelly says Marcie doesn’t even want Brad; she just wants to hurt Randal. Louise says that’s because she’s hurting. Kelly says Marcie needs to brace herself for what might be coming. Marcie says Randal started it and Louise asks if she’s mature enough to finish it.

Eddie is back at work. Pete and Ben are on bike patrol. Pete says something isn’t right about it to Lushion. Eddie tells Pete to be careful in a veiled threat kind of way. Eddie – who has a job, but never does any work – asks Lushion how it’s going and makes small talk. Lushion asks what’s up with Eddie and Ben. Eddie makes a disgusting remark. Lushion tells him he’d better have straightened up. This was kind of a veiled threat too.

Ben points out Claudia to Eddie, and tells him she’s the one who saw the video. Eddie calls over a female detective and asks about Claudia, but the detective runs interference and won’t let him hassle her. A body has been found and Lushion and Eddie have to leave. Natalie blocks Lushion’s way out and says they need to talk. Obviously, now is not a good time. Lushion says he’ll call her.

Natalie pulls Esperenza to the side. She asks what’s up with her and Eddie. Esperanza says blah-blah-blah about how Eddie says he’s changed. Natalie asks if Lushion is in trouble. She tells Esperanza that Eddie robbed a drug dealer. Oh, she thinks Lushion is in on it because his bank account shows a lot of money. Esperanza says Eddie does have a lot of cash. Natalie says so does Lushion. Esperanza wants to confront Eddie. Natalie thinks Esperanza should just shake loose from Eddie and thinks if Lushion got away from Eddie, he’d be better off. Natalie makes her promise not to tell where she got the information from.

We’re at the cartel guy’s compound. I always think it looks weird when people have what looks exactly like living room furniture outside. Where’s the aluminum and webbed chaise lounges? Julius’s father tells him he has vengeance on the brain, and he needs to stop because he’ll end up in jail or worse and that will kill his father. He says it will be the end of their cartel.

His father says the reason he employs small time dealers is that they have street cred and can get information. He says don’t make enemies of people who can be your friends, or something like that. His father is afraid that when the cartel gets passed down, Julius will make a mess of things.

Eddie lets himself in to Esperanza’s house. She tells him give her the key and get out. He says he just wants to talk and she says they have nothing to talk about. She says go talk to the whore he had there last week. Eddie says she didn’t mean anything, which just makes it worse. She says the whore used her perfume and stole Eddie’s daughter’s earrings from the bathroom. He says said whore is dead. Which makes it worse again. She lets it slip about him robbing the drug dealer. He asks if Lushion told her. Esperanza says too bad, it doesn’t matter, and get out. He refuses.

Juan and Julius are casing the burger place and Faun again. Juan says she picks up the money every day. I’m surprised her father didn’t tell her to do it at different times. Julius says his dad likes Juan but he doesn’t. Julius wanted him to shoot a cop, but he shot up the whole place to make it look random. Julius says now his money is gone and the cop is still alive. Julius wants Eddie to kill Joey to send a message that he’s tough.

Natalie and Esperanza are visiting Alex in the hospital. She says she’s being sprung tomorrow. Kelly joins the crowd, but Alex is kind of cold. Kelly tells Natalie has been approved for the loan. Alex isn’t excited at all about going home and she says Kelly knows why. Kelly is like, huh? and Alex says she knew Brad and Marcie had sex in the shed. She saw the video. Then she brings up how Kelly told Marcie to look closer for Peppa (her code name in the affair with Randal). Kelly is like, oh, I see, you’re mad at me for what you did. She says she can’t even look at Marcie right now. Alex says Kelly should have told her and tells Kelly to get out. The other girls protest, but Alex says Marcie is not her friend.  Alex wants everyone to leave.

Lushion calls Natalie and she says she needs to talk in person. He says he needs to talk too, but he’ll wait until he gets home. She says he means “her place.” Ouch!

Brad drives to whatever backwater place Alex is from. Her father asks if Brad is lost. He says he’s there to announce the new baby’s arrival. Brad says he tried to call, but I don’t think they have phones there. Brad asks if Alex’s mother is there and her father says she’s lying down. Brad asks if they don’t want to see the baby. Alex’s mother comes to the door. I hate to say this, but her haircut alone tells me she doesn’t live there. Brad asks if she wants to see the baby. Obviously, he’s trying to get these racist a-holes to come and see that the baby is Black. Brad doesn’t seem to be getting anywhere, so he finally leaves.

The nurse brings the baby to Alex to nurse. Ha-ha! She says Alex’s blood pressure is good. I’ll bet not for long. The nurse says if it stays that way, she’ll be able to go home tomorrow. When Alex barely responds, she asks if Alex is okay. Alex says yes, and the nurse leaves.

Stalker Randal arrives.

General Hospital

Anna is a mess, dropping things everywhere. NuShrink helps her pick stuff up and asks her if the St. John’s Wort is working. He suggests melatonin as well, but says only honesty will get to the root of her problem. He says whatever’s bothering her will continue until she gets to the root cause.

Maxie is getting things going. She’s at (where else?) The Floating Rib, working with her laptop and phone. Lulu comes in and says she’d left a message that Valerie and Dante were together last night.

Michael and Sabrrrina have scheduled an appointment for a sonogram. Elizabeth comes in looking for Jason and mistakenly calls him Jake. I’ve done that too. Michael leaves and Sabrrrina says that Elizabeth is afraid Jason won’t come back to her when he’s done with his mission.

Jason shows up at Spinelli’s house in Portland. Georgie and Ellie aren’t there. Spinelli says it’s gratifying to see his old friend and he missed him. Jason says he’s sorry he doesn’t remember, but Spinelli says he’s just grateful that Jason is alive. Jason says it’s all due to Spinelli and Spinelli says that fate brought him back together with the people who love him. Jason says Helena is the one who brought him back and he’s out to get answers.

Sam tells Patrick that Jason is going after the Cassadines and that he’ll need back up. Patrick asks when she’s leaving. At least he knows her pretty well. Sam says he hasn’t answered her messages. She says what he’s doing is dangerous and she’ll need him. Patrick says she’s doing it for herself, not Jason.

The two stooges, Valerie and Dante, pat themselves on the back because they caught the perp or whatever. Valerie says it was exciting, but she made a rookie move by falling asleep.

Lulu tells Maxie about how she called Dante, but he couldn’t talk. She thought nothing of it, but then saw Dante in the car with Valerie’s head on his shoulder. Maxie says she shouldn’t jump to conclusions. Good point. That seems to be what’s gotten everyone into trouble lately. Maxie suggests they check Dante’s email. They see one from Valerie, but it’s like that joke where it turns out to be a dentist. It sounds like she’s talking about sleeping with him, but she’s really talking about the stakeout.

Michael comes by the police station and says Jason has given him proxy to use his ELQ shares against Nicholas. He wants to press charge against Nicholas for corporate espionage.

Sabrrrina says she knows what it’s like when an old love comes back. Elizabeth continues with her pipedream of how Jason is going to come back and be crazy about her.

Sam says Patrick loves her because of what Jason changed in her. She’d come to town as a con artist (I’d forgotten that!) and after she met him, things changed. She says he needs her and Patrick gets pissed.

Spinelli accesses the Cassadines mainframe. Jason apologizes for laying all this on him. Spinelli says Jason befriended him when he was anti-social and ostracized. He says that Jason helped him get offline and live life for real, and he can never repay him. Jason says he wishes he could be the guy so many people love but he doesn’t know how. Spinelli says he doesn’t have to do anything, just be himself.

Maxie is working her phone and laptop again. Valerie comes in and orders a lot of food, saying she needs it after the night she had. Maxie stomps over to her table to confront her.

Patrick talks to Anna about what happened with Emma. The description of the strange woman fits no one they recognize. He tells her that Jason took off and Sam wants to help. Anna says that’s what she should do, startling me.

Sam is daydreaming about early times with Jason. Elizabeth shows up and Sam says she hasn’t heard from him. Elizabeth says she’s glad Sam’s not chasing after him. Too bad, so sad, says Sam, because she’s planning on it. Ah-ha! in Nelson voice.

Jason tells Spinelli that no matter what he does, a good woman who loves him will get hurt. Spinelli should know all about that, since he went through it with Maxie and Ellie, but the difference is that Elizabeth is not a good woman. She’s a scheming shrew.

Commercial break. It’s the candy kisses that play “We Wish You a Merry Christmas.” For the love of all that’s holy, it’s not even Thanksgiving yet. I once heard Christmas music being played in Macy’s at the end of September. I asked the cashier if it started to bug her by December. She said, “It’s bugging me now.”

Jason says that in all his struggles with memory loss, it never once crossed his mind that he was Jason. Spinelli says that he still came back anyway, and that his instincts seem to be intact and he should trust them.

Elizabeth says Sam needs to have some respect and get out of the way when Jason comes back to her. Sam tells her that her using the word respect is a joke and that Jason needs her. She’s going after him and Elizabeth needs to get out of her house. Bye, Felicia!

Anna says Sam is taking a risk, but Patrick can’t save her by being controlling. He has to trust that she loves him.

Sabrrrina cancels the sono. Question mark over my head. Is she afraid the baby looks like Carrrlos already and Michael will notice?

Lulu shows up at the police station. She tells Dante she saw him with her slut cousin. She saw them cuddled up and he’s a liar. She says he’s been sleeping with Valerie all along and mentions the email.

Valerie changes her order to a sandwich to go. Maxie confronts her about being in the car with Dante. She says if she’s so concerned, she should stop sending Dante love emails. Valerie is like what the what, how did you see it? Maxie says it wasn’t that hard.

Sabrrrina asks Anna If there’s been any progress in finding Carrrlos’s killer. Anna says it’s a cold case. Sabrrina says she realizes she’s not family, but that she was close to him and despite what he’d done, he deserves justice. Anna gets all weird and has to go.

Sam calls Patrick and says she has to find Jason, but it has nothing to do with the two of them, meaning her and Patrick.

Spinelli locates Helena on a private island. Jason asks him to find a vantage point with a cover and an access point. Jason rattles off a few things he needs. Spinelli says they’re finding their old rhythm.

Maxie says instead of pulling Valerie and Lulu’s sorry excuse for a husband out of the car, Lulu came to her. Valerie says it’s against the law to hack into an email account. Maxie says Lulu had the password, and Valerie must have known that she would see the email that thanked him for “last night.”

A-hole Dante makes noises about it being a federal offense to hack in email. Nice try and good way to get Lulu even more pissed. Dante tells her Valerie was talking about the stakeout. What’s wrong with those two morons (Dante and Valerie) that they think they can get on their high horses and point fingers at Lulu and Maxie? Arggh! I can’t stand either one of them.

Anna goes to see nuShrink. What the blip is his name and why won’t someone say it? Anna says he’s right. She has serious issues and needs help. She wants to schedule an appointment.

Valerie says she’s not after Dante, but if she was, Lulu is giving her all the help she needs. She says if Maxie wants to be Lulu’s friend, she should not encourage her anger and tell her to take Dante back before she loses him. Maxie tries to text Lulu not to confront Dante. A little late.

Lulu and Dante talk in private. He says if she can no longer trust him, maybe they are done. What a twonk.

Michael asks where Sabrrrina is at the hospital desk. The nurse tells him she cancelled the sono. Patrick tells Sabrrrina that he’s sorry for what he put her through because he’s now in the same position. Another idiot with a too late apology.

Spinelli has fixed up Jason’s phone for cyber support, and has gotten a private jet to take him to Greece and then Cassadine Island. Jason asks who’s paying. Sam says him. Surprise! He has a lot of money in offshore accounts. Maybe it’s not so bad being Jason.

Oh for Pete’s sake. Elizabeth wants to come with Sam. Sam gets a call from Spinelli telling her what’s going on. He says Jason will need back up and who better than her.

Ha-ha! Tomorrow Sam is going to throw a drink in Elizabeth’s face on the plane.

Million Dollar Listing: LA

Heather tells JoshA they have a mother/daughter developer team looking for agents to sell a 12-unit property. Heather says that they called her and she thinks they want a female agent, but she would like his back-up. Josh wants to split it three ways (his brother being the third). Heather is hesitant, but says okay.

JoshF is still looking for a property for his hard-to-please client, Julie. I thought they’d found something, and so did he, but the deal fell apart. I am so loving Josh’s denim jacket. I’m betting it’s crazy expensive, since I don’t think these guys shop at Old Navy. He contacts Madison about the possibility of doing a deal together.

Is that a Rottweiler Madison has? Whatever it is, it’s cute. Madison, who seems to have slipped back into this show even though he’s not on the credits (what do the Wives call it? A friend of the show?), is having an open house. Whenever I see these open houses, I always wish I could go to one on a lark and scarf down free food, drinks and views. The property has been on the market for a while, which is somewhat of a drawback. I got my house for less because of that.

James is having a birthday party for one of his daughters, and of course it’s fabulous, filled with fairies (the winged kind), bubbles and face painting. I think I just saw a unicorn. It must be nice to have mega bucks. Or have a father that does. Forget the open house, I want to go to this party.

James has a developer guest that has a property he wants James and David to handle. They toast with tacos to the future deal.

Heather’s excited because she and Josh haven’t done a listing together in a while. JoshA say’s it’s like date night with commission. Heather tells him he’s just there for eye candy and to remember that the clients are looking for the female facet.

The house Madison is showing is gorgeous. It has parking on the property, which is unusual for the area. It’s a beachfront property and one broker is concerned about high tide. Madison says to get a “dry beach” property costs a huge amount of money, but the house is 60 years old and still standing.

Heather and JoshA check out the 12-unit property. The penthouse is amazing and you can see the Hollywood sign from the balcony. They talk price and Josh has a hard time not taking the lead. There are no comps for the building, so Heather suggests they go to pre-sale with the higher price the developer wants and see what happens. Josh interjects that they’ll need to stage the penthouse and another unit, but the developer balks at footing the bill, so Heather says they’ll do it.

James and David have an old Hollywood property that I love. James says that unless it’s some kind of historical property, it’s all about location and most likely a tear down.  I want to cry because no one cares about old, cool homes anymore. James suggests they call both Joshes to help get as many potential buyers in as they can.

Madison is showing the beachfront house again. Oooh, it has built in cupboards I didn’t notice before. While he’s dealing with one client, another shows up with an offer that’s $312K over asking price. The broker’s client doesn’t want a bidding war and wants to wrap it up in 24 hours. The broker he’d been working with wants to give him an offer as well, and he tells her she’d better move fast.

Heather and JoshA are setting up the open house. Heather is worried about no shows because it’s raining and apparently no one leaves their house in L.A. when it rains. The staging looks fantastic and so does the food. Rain or not, a lot of brokers show up. Josh says today is about testing the prices the developers want. They get two full price offers right off the bat. The developer is pretty excited. They have 6 other interested people as well.

Whenever I see a brand name like Bulgari, I think of those two used-to-be porn star girls on Saturday Night Live.

James and David have generated interest in the old Hollywood property. JoshF shows up with a client. Waaah! I love this house and can’t believe someone is probably going to flatten it. Okay, this guy is speaking my language and is more interested in it as a family home. James and David want to present all offers to their client at the same time on Friday.

Madison can’t get ahold of his client, and is concerned that the phenomenal offer they’ve gotten is going to disappear.

JoshA shows up at James and David’s showing. James says he’s been looking for a project to include JoshA in. Josh says he wants to make some calls. When Josh calls his client, the client has already seen the property with JoshF. It’s the same guy who just made an offer.

JoshF pulls up with the offer. JoshA asks JoshF what his problem is. JoshF says that JoshA tells lies to steal his clients. JoshA says he doesn’t steal JoshF’s listings; the clients come to him after they’ve fired JoshF. JoshF says it’s time to settle things. And if you could follow that, God bless you.

Next week, Heather says she’s “late” while in the ladies room. Either she’s pregnant or they want us to think she is.