What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Dr. Navarro finds Brando in the hallway, and he asks how Sasha and the baby are. She tells him to come in and see for himself. He goes into the examining room, and Sasha says both she and the baby are good. She puts his hand on her very large baby bump.

Alexis tells Shawn that she’s sorry she’s not paying attention. She’s worried about Nikolas. He just told her that Spencer is the stalker. Shawn says, that explains how he got past the security at Windymere, and she says, it’s really taken its toll on Nikolas. He says, he can imagine, and she says, no one can blame Spencer for acting out. Nikolas wasn’t always the best roll model, but he’s also good. He went up against Cyrus Renault to keep her safe in Pentenville. He’s got a good heart, which is a real trick when you’re brought up in the reptile cage that is her family. She apologizes for going on about the Cassadines. She’s sure that’s not what he came there for.

Nikolas says he’s sneaking up on Ava, and she asks why he’s announcing it. He says, after months of her being stalked by his son, he figured she didn’t want to be surprised. He took her advice, and tried to find Spencer. He ran into Trina’s mom instead. Ava asks what she had to say, and Nikolas tells her, quite a lot. She’s a tough lady. Ava says, she is indeed, and he says he never found Spencer though. She says, actually, Nikolas just missed him. Spencer was there looking for him.

Phyllis goes to Nina’s office at Crimson, and Nina asks what she’s doing in Port Charles. Phyllis says, she came to see… Nina says, Sonny, and Phyllis says she’s still not used to that name. She returned some of his things, and met his wife. She also wanted to see Nina, but Nina is busy. She’ll come back another time. Nina says, no, and asks her assistant to hold her calls. She says, okay. Let her have it.

Sonny says, a lot has happened since Nixon Falls, and Jax says, it has, but some things never change, like Sonny and Carly. Sonny says, they’re a family, and Jax says, believe it or not, he actually wants Carly to be happy. He wants Nina to be happy too. Sonny says, good luck with that, and Jax says, there seems to be an obstacle in his way. He’s looking at him.

On the phone, Carly says she’d hoped that Jax would be in his office by now, when Jason walks in. What’s the nature of her call? She was hoping to discuss Aurora Media, in particular, Crimson magazine. Can they have Jax call her when he gets to the office? Carly tells Jason that she knows what he’s going to say. That if she targets Nina, she makes Nina the victim. She doesn’t care. Nina’s gonna pay.

Dr. Navarro asks how Sasha and Brando feel about their birthing classes, and Sasha says, they’re great, but Brando asks, why? Does he need to do something over? Sasha says he couldn’t have been better or more supportive, and the doctor says, she’s right. No do-overs for him. All that’s left is a tour of the delivery room and the nursery. Brando says he knows his way around a garage, but a delivery room? The classes were great, but does anything actually prepare you? Dr. Navarro says, it will actually help. Once he sees the delivery room and gets a feel for it, he’ll find it’s not nearly as intimidating as he imagines. Sasha says, plus they get to see all those babies in the nursery, and the doctor says she’ll go arrange it. She leaves, and Brando says, it’s really happening. Sasha says there’s still time for him to bail, but he says, never. They’re in this together. You, me, and baby makes three. Gladys comes to the door and says, make that four.

Shawn tells Alexis, this thing between Nikolas and Spencer has him thinking about him and TJ. She says, he and TJ are in a lot better shape than Spencer and Nikolas. Unless there’s something he’s not telling her. He says, they’re good; great even. He’s sorry Nikolas is having a problem with his son, but Nikolas has time to make it right. He lost a lot of years with TJ that he’ll never get back. She says, the only direction to move is forward. Tell her what’s going on with Hayden. Any new leads?

Nikolas says, so his son finally realized he has to atone for the pain he’s caused, especially the pain he caused Ava, but Ava says she wouldn’t go that far. He says, okay. Spencer is a Cassadine, and has pride, but wants to meet him halfway, right? She says, well… and he says Spencer came back after he kicked him out. He must be genuinely remorseful… A little remorseful? She says, that was her hope as well, especially since Trina was there. No matter what Spencer thinks of her, she knows he admires Trina. She was hoping Trina’s opinion would still matter to Spencer, but… He says, but what? What happened?

Nina says she knows she has no right to say this, but she’s missed Phyllis so much. They sit with some coffee, and Phyllis says she missed Nina too. This is a nice office. Does she love the view? Nina says, when she gets a chance to look at it, and Phyllis says, fashion and excitement; it must be so glamorous. Nina says, it has its moments, and Phyllis says it makes her wonder why Nina ever left. Nina says Phyllis knows why she left, and Phyllis says, because she was hurting. Jax, the man Nina loved and trusted, kept her daughter’s identity from her, siding with the woman Nina blames for her death. Nina says, that betrayal broke her heart, and Phyllis says, to think the little girl she took to her adoptive family all those years ago met such a tragic ending. Nina says, when she met Nelle, it was too late to raise her, but maybe she could have helped her. She’ll never know. Phyllis says, and Nina made Sonny’s wife suffer in return. Nina felt Carly took over her daughter, so she took over Carly’s husband. Nina says, it doesn’t feel great. Revenge isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. It just ends up hurting you more. Phyllis says, if Nina knows that, maybe her time in Nixon Falls wasn’t a waste. Nina says, it wasn’t a waste. She wouldn’t trade her time in Nixon Falls for anything. The chance to get to know Lenny, and her. Phyllis says, not only them. She takes out an envelope, and slides a photo out of it, saying, Nina got to know someone else too. Nina looks at a picture of her and Sonny/Mike wearing a cowboy hat.

Sonny tells Jax, it was Nina’s choice. If she didn’t like the way it turned out, she can only blame herself. Jax says he’s not defending Nina, or trying to justify what she did, but Sonny lived a different kind of life for the better part of a year. No Corinthos organization, no territory to control, no rival families; he was Mike. People cared about him and respected him, not because he was Sonny Corinthos. How can he not be changed by that? Sonny tells him, he never said he wasn’t, and Jax says, his point is, Sonny has the power to be generous here. He can give Nina the chance to come out of this better than she went in. Can’t Sonny find it in his heart to give her that chance? Sonny asks why he would, and Jax says, because he has his memory back. He has his wife and his family again. Sonny says, the family Nina took from him, and Jax says, as he understands it, Nina gave Sonny something too – her heart.

Carly asks what Jason would do if he were her; let Nina get away with it? Let her sit in her office and hide in Carly’s hotel? Jason says he understands her wanting Nina to pay, but it will cost Carly more than it will cost Nina. She says, it won’t, but he says, she doesn’t know that. She says, Nina lied the whole time she was in Nixon Falls, keeping Sonny’s existence a secret, even from Sonny. And what did that crazy bitch do when she came to town? She went to see Carly’s grandson. He says, okay. So why is she involving Jax? She says because she wants Nina to know what it’s like to lose something she loves, the way Nina took Sonny from them.

Brando says, mom, you’re here. Why? and Gladys asks, what kind of greeting is that for the grandmother-to-be? He says, she just happened to be in the hospital when he and Sasha were having an appointment? and she says, as a matter-of-fact, she had a follow-up to make sure everything is okay with her wound from when she took a bullet for him. He says, she didn’t exactly throw herself between him and a hail of gunfire. How did she know where they were? She says he left his phone unlocked on the kitchen table. He should really be more careful with that. He says she’s telling him, and Sasha says, Brando told her that he sent Gladys on a spa day. How was it? Gladys says, a momentary respite from the horrors she experienced at Jason and Carly’s wedding. When she thinks she might have been in that car with Vincent Novak, when he and what’s-his-name were blown to smithereens, she can’t even… Brando says, she wasn’t, and she says, but she could have been. He says, but she wasn’t. Everything’s okay now. She says, if by everything, is he referring to cousin Sonny? Rumor has it he’s alive and well. Is it true? He says, Sonny is alive and well, and she says, wonderful. If only someone had called to tell her. She gets a tissue, and dabs at her eyes, saying, she’s sure everyone is so excited to see Sonny, she was the last person on anyone’s mind. All she can say is, hallelujah. Who says miracles don’t happen anymore? Sasha says, they think their baby is a miracle, and Gladys says, sure, but with Sonny back at the wheel, Brando doesn’t have to stay another minute in that garage. He can write his own ticket and ride it to the top. He says, she hasn’t heard what he’s said, about Sonny or about him.

Shawn says after he and Alexis talked, she got him thinking about her uncle Victor Cassadine, and how he was mixed up in Creighton-Clark. Jordan’s lead was the record keeper. She says, Drew could have also been another victim, since he was held captive at Creighton-Clark. He says, Victor couldn’t have anything to do with Hayden’s shooting, since he was already dead be then, and she says, so the Cassadines couldn’t have been involved. He says, Victor couldn’t, but what if they picked the wrong Cassadine?

Ava tells Nikolas, before she spoke to Spencer, she left him alone with Trina. She was hoping Trina could talk some sense into him. He says, clearly, she didn’t, and Ava says, Spencer doesn’t feel any remorse. According to him, nobody got hurt. As if he didn’t cause sheer terror, or use Kiki’s memory against her, or watch, as she planned to leave the country without Avery. They were all just harmless pranks to him. Nikolas says, unfortunately, he thinks he knows where Spencer gets that attitude, and she says she wasn’t having any of it of course (🍷). She told him that his plan to break them up failed miserably; they’re back together. He says, they’re still together. Nothing Spencer, or anyone else can do, will ever come between them. He asks, how did Spencer take it? and she says, not well.

Phyllis tells Nina that Lenny never kept photos in his camera. He put together photo albums as a hobby, the old fashioned way. Nina can keep those if she wants to. Nina says, no. She has to find a way to forget about Mike, like he never existed. She guesses he didn’t. Phyllis says, except they both know he did. Mike was real. She doesn’t care what anyone says, even Sonny. It was Mike, not Sonny, who made Lenny’s last days better, and all the days before that while he was with them at the Tan-O. Nina says she knew who he really was the whole time, and kept quiet. Initially, it was because she wanted to hurt Carly, but then it was because she fell… Phyllis says, there was a time between wanting to hurt Sonny’s wife, and falling in love with Mike; why not speak up then? Nina says, because Sonny was so happy. Phyllis was so kind, and she repaid that kindness by lying. She’s so sorry. It cost Phyllis the Tan-O, the place Phyllis and Lenny loved. They shared so much of their lives there. She’s so sorry. Phyllis says, she told Nina after the fire, a building is just stuff; it’s people who matter. Nina wishes she could see the world the way Phyllis does, but it’s too late for her now. Phyllis says, it’s never too late. Isn’t Mike’s life – Sonny’s life – proof of that?

Sonny tells Jax, he can’t help Nina. He has to focus on his life and his family. Jax says he’s honestly happy for Sonny and Carly. If for no other reason than Josslyn is happy. Josslyn actually led him back to Nixon Falls to find Sonny. Sonny asks how that happened, and Jax says, Sonny’s pasta sauce is quite memorable. Trina picked some up at the Tan-O, passed it to Josslyn, and Josslyn said it tasted exactly like Sonny’s. That’s what got him thinking. When he was shot, when he stopped the robbery in Nixon Falls, he thought he saw before they loaded him into the ambulance. Of course (🍷) he told himself that he was probably hallucinating. Sonny asks if Jax told himself, or did Nina tell him, and Jax says, the point is, when Josslyn recognized the sauce, he thought it must have been Sonny he saw, and Sonny knows the rest. Sonny says, remind him to give Jax a case, but Jax says he doesn’t need to. Sonny says Jax did find him, and he owes Jax. And he always pays his debts. Hmm… A case of pasta sauce for getting his life back? It must be good sauce.

Jason says, if Carly punishes Nina, it’s not going to give her back the time with Sonny that she lost. Carly asks if he doesn’t think she knows that, and he says, it’s not going to make Nina lose someone she cares about. She says, that’s impossible, since Nina doesn’t care about anyone but herself, and Wiley. He asks if she thinks Michael and Willow are still going to allow Nina to see Wiley, but she says, even they can’t be that forgiving. Sonny doesn’t want her to start a war with Nina. Jason says, she has more important things to do, and she says, she knows. They need to sit down with Sonny, and tell him what they were feeling on their wedding day. She’s afraid because she doesn’t want things to change between the three of them. This, I don’t get at all. Why does she want to fill Sonny in on their private thoughts? It’s not like anything happened they can’t take back.

Brando says he’s told Gladys a million times. He helped Sonny with Cyrus, and it’s over. He’s out. Gladys says, forgive her for only wanting what’s best him and his new family, and he says, if she wants what’s best for him and his family, why would she want him anywhere near Sonny’s world? She asks, what so wrong with Sonny’s world? and he says, she was just complaining about how, in that world, you go to weddings in limos, and come back in little pieces. She tells Sasha to please let her son know that she’s come home from the spa refreshed and with a new attitude. Sasha says, if getting held at gunpoint by Cyrus didn’t change her attitude, why would a massage and facial? Gladys says, fine. Believe whatever they want, but she’s glad her son is no longer part of that violent world. Brando asks, then why does she keep pressing him to be part of that world? and she says, because Sonny has legitimate businesses, lucrative ones. Everybody drinks coffee, and there’s that island resort. Brando can do better than the garage. Like more; like better. And remember, Sonny owes him for helping keep his family together at risk of his own life. Has his dear, undeparted cousin even bothered to say thank you? Brando asks Sasha to excuse them, and they go into the hallway. Brando tells Gladys, now he’s going to talk, and she’s going to listen.

Alexis asks what Shawn means by the wrong Cassadine, and he says, they both agree her family fingerprints are all over this. She says, as much as she’d like it to be Victor, he was blown to bits. The Cassadines are resilient, but an explosion like that, even for a Cassadine, might be hard to resurrect from. He says, Victor isn’t the only Cassadine who’s made a return trip from the great beyond. So has Nikolas.   

Nikolas tells Ava that he’ll talk to Nikolas. Maybe even ask him to come home. If he can be the father Spencer needs, maybe Spencer can be the man he was meant to be. Ava tells him not to forget about the little pyromaniac who torched her car, allegedly at Spencer’s behest. He says he’s not buying that, but she says, whether it was Spencer’s idea or not, Esme still went through with it. And she left Kiki’s ID badge, which is just sadistic. He says he won’t argue with her there, and she says, Spencer’s under her spell. He says, it’s Spencer’s first love, first lust. He’ll outgrow it. When he grows up a little, and sees what real love is, what they have, maybe he’ll stop fighting them. She says, she hopes so… someday, and he says, the way he sees it, if Spencer can’t make the effort to see him, he can go to Spencer. He’ll meet Spencer halfway. She says, he might want to talk to a lawyer first, and he asks why he would need a lawyer. She says, he doesn’t; Spencer does.

Nina tells Phyllis that she always knew it would blow up in her face. How could it not? And now, despite her many machinations, he’s back with Carly. Like this never happened. Like Nina never happened. Maybe it’s her penance. Sonny gets to move on, and leave what they had in Nixon Falls behind, and she gets stand in her beautiful office with the beautiful view, and remember everything. Phyllis says, nobody is asking Nina to forget. If her time with Mike really meant something, if it helped heal the wounds that took her to Nixon Falls in the first place, doesn’t she owe it to him to honor that? To leave Sonny to enjoy the life he’s chosen? When she saw Mike/Sonny today, she didn’t give him everything. She shows Nina Sonny’s shattered watch, and says, she has something else that belongs to him.

Sonny tells Jax, before the fire and before he got his memory back, he threw his father’s watch in the river because he wanted to forget his past. Jax says, he tried to warn Sonny about the past; you can run from it, and maybe hide from it for a while, but eventually it always catches up with you. Sonny says, for once, he should have listened, and Jax says, maybe, but he figured Sonny needed to find out in his own way. Sonny says, now he knows Jax was just looking out for Nina, and Jax says, that’s exactly what he’s doing now. If Sonny ever had feelings for Nina, recognize the good in her, despite the wrong she did. Let go of his anger, and just walk away.

Carly asks Jason if he thinks Sonny will understand, and he says, Sonny is her husband, and his best friend. She says, they were getting married to save the business, but by the time they said their vows, it was more. He says, Sonny knows they thought he was dead. He thinks Sonny will understand. She says, they were without him for nine months, and he was without them. He didn’t even remember them. So what if the person he became, what if this man, this bartender, this Mike… What if it’s changed Sonny? Jason says, it doesn’t seem like he’s changed, and she says, maybe changed is the wrong word. Sonny has these experiences she didn’t share or know about. It’s one more thing Nina took from her, the certainty of who her husband is. He says, nine months is a long time. It will pass. She’s going to feel awkward sometimes, but the only way past it is through it. She has to face it and deal with it. Start new memories together. She says, okay. She and Sonny were talking a lot last night, and she asked him, why didn’t he tell her that Nina knew he was in Nixon Falls? Sonny said he just didn’t want her going after Nina, and she has to say, when she woke up this morning, revenge was the furthest thing from her mind. He says, was it? and she says, yes, because Sonny’s alive. He’s her husband and she loves him.

Brando tells Gladys, when he saw Sonny today, Sonny thanked him for looking out for his family, and offered him a job. Gladys laughs, and tells him, why didn’t he say so? When does he start? He says, he doesn’t. He’s glad Sonny’s back with Carly and his family, but he has a family of his own now, and he made it clear to Sonny, and made it clear to Sasha, that he wants to find his own way, without Sonny. She says, in the garage Sonny gave him, but he says, that was payment for keeping Dev’s secret; a secret she blew when she told Cyrus. She wonders when he’s going to stop throwing that in her face. Dev was like a grandson to her. He says he knows. She has a new grandchild on the way. She asks if she’s even going to be part of that child’s life. He keeps pushing her away. Is there a place for her in his new family’s life or not? He says, knock it off. He loves her and always will, but he knows who she is, and knows how she operates. If she wants to keep picking on Sonny, and pissing him off, be his guest, but he’s not going to have any part of that. Are they clear? Dr. Navarro comes out, and asks if Brando and Sasha are ready for the tour, and he says, more than ready. He and Gladys are finished there, right?

Shawn says, Alexis thinks he’s wrong about Nikolas, and she says, she doesn’t like that he thinks Nikolas had anything to do with it at all. What she likes even less, is that she’s not dismissing the possibility. Why does he suspect Nikolas? He says he spoke with Jax yesterday. She may recall that when Jax and Hayden came to town, they were working for Nikolas. She says she does, and he says, then she recalls that years prior, Hayden and Nikolas were married. She says, yes, she knows, and everyone knows they didn’t get along, but they were working together to bring down Valentin. You know, enemies of my enemies. He says, they were, until she disappeared without a trace. She asks why he thinks Nikolas is involved with Hayden’s disappearance, and he says he didn’t say that. Nikolas did.  

Nikolas says, Ava had Spencer arrested? and she says, he left her no other choice. Spencer made it clear he woudn’t stop until they were broken up. She can’t take any chances when Avery is involved. He tells her, she was the one who said they could find a way to forgive, and says, Spencer and him. She didn’t say anything about her. He says, they’re the adults, and can be the bigger people, and she says she tried. She wanted to forgive Spencer, but there was another side to that coin – repentance. He didn’t just terrorize her; he brought her little girl into it. He says, Spencer never would have hurt Avery, and she says, maybe not intentionally, but he could have pulled some stunt and Avery could have ended up collateral damage. Spencer has to learn that there are consequences for his actions. He says she’s right, and she says, now is the time to do something about it. He says, by putting him behind bars, and she says, to be blunt, she needed Spencer to learn not to mess with her. He says he can respect that, and she says, he can? He’s not mad? He says he doesn’t love it, but he gets it, and Ava thanks him. He says, at the same time, Alexis convinced him to be a better father to his son, and make a difference in his life. How is he supposed to do that, when his son his behind bars?

Phyllis says she found Sonny’s watch on the river walk, near Lenny’s favorite fishing spot. Nina says, Sonny’s one link to his past, and Phyllis says, that’s why he tossed it away. He was saying goodbye to whoever he was and wherever he came from. All that mattered was his future with Nina. Nina says, for what it’s worth (🍷), at least in that moment, he chose her, even if she didn’t deserve it.

Sonny tells Jax, Nina is the one who should let go. She shouldn’t have come to Port Charles. She should have stayed in Nixon Falls, and started a new life. Jax says, like Sonny did? and Sonny says, like he did, but his life’s here; the life Nina tried to take from him. Jax says he’s not asking Sonny to forget what Nina did, but he has his life back now. Whatever happened between Sonny and Nina, the good and the bad, leave it in Nixon Falls where it belongs. Sonny says he appreciates it, and leaves.

Jason says he’s happy for Carly, and for Sonny. She and Sonny should be together, and now that they are, all the more reason to put Nina behind her. She says she doesn’t know how to do this. She keeps watching Sonny, and she keeps thinking, is the Sonny that came back the Sonny who left home? Is it her Sonny? He says, it’s Sonny. For nine months, they thought he was dead. She thought she was going to spend the rest of her life without him, and now he’s home. Whatever happened in Nixon Falls doesn’t matter. Carly’s phone rings, and it’s Jax. She says she’s been waiting to hear from him, and he says, his assistant said she wanted to talk to him about Crimson.  

Brando and Sasha look at the babies, and Brando says, Dr. Navarro was right. After seeing the delivery room, he does think they can do this. She says,  famous last words from the father, and he laughs. He says he honors and respects her for doing all the hard work, and wants her to know he’ll be there to support her. And on the bright side, after it’s all over, they’ll get one of those. They look at the babies, and she says, makes it all worthwhile, doesn’t it? and he says, sure does.

Shawn says, Jax confirmed Nikolas forced Hayden to leave town, but Alexis says, that doesn’t mean he’s responsible for Hayden’s shooting years before. He says, true, and the fact they were together afterward means either she didn’t know or found a way to forgive him. She says, playing devil’s advocate, how does this connect Nikolas to the insanity that happened at Creighton-Clark? He says, maybe it doesn’t, or maybe he was just involved in Hayden’s shooting, or maybe none of it. All he has are pieces that may or may not fit together. Jax said she’d want to hear the truth. Now he’s told her. She asks who else he’s going to share his suspicion’s with, and he says, that depends on her. She’s been an incredible friend to him. She and her family are the reason he’s walking around. She says, it was their pleasure, and he says he cares about her, and owes her big time. So just say the word, and he’ll drop this whole thing.

Ava says, how does Nikolas guide Spencer while he’s in jail. Nikolas visits him; it’s not like he can go anywhere. He says, and once he gets there? and she says, he needs to show Spencer that he can’t escape what he’s done. So please, under no circumstances… He says he won’t bail Spencer out, and she says, and don’t let Esme bail him out either. He needs to sit there. He needs to hit rock bottom. That’s the only way Nikolas can put a meaningful hand out to help him. He says, tough love, and she says, yeah. Spencer needs to realize he needs Nikolas. He needs Nikolas’s love; he needs his father. Until he realizes that, the cycle will just keep going, and Nikolas can’t let it. It cannot happen, for Spencer’s sake and theirs. It’s got to stop now.

Carly says she did want to talk to Jax about Crimson, but never mind. He can run his business without her two cents. He says he’s open to input, in the spirit of mutual cooperation, but she says, she just had an idea, but it was a bad idea. He asks if she just admitted to having a bad idea, and she says she did. Goodbye. She tells Jason, Nina is off limits – for now.

Nina asks why Phyllis didn’t give Sonny his watch back when she saw him, and Phyllis says she thought it might bring back too many painful memories. Maybe she should have left it where he dropped it. Nina says, Phyllis always makes the right decisions. It’s frustrating. Nina says she’ll make sure he gets it, and puts the watch on her desk. Sonny walks in.

Sasha asks what Brando said to his mother, and he says he just established some ground rules. He thinks this time, she got the message. Gladys puts her arms around both of them, and says, look at that one. He’s as bald as a basketball. She laughs.

Alexis asks, how likely does Shawn think it is that Nikolas had Hayden shot? and he just looks at her. She says, that likely, huh? and he says, if he’s right, is that something she thinks she can live with knowing? She says, she’s spent her whole life and career seeking justice. A terrible injustice has been done to Shawn, and he deserves justice. It would be hypocritical of her not to let him get that. He says, no matter where it leads? and she says, no matter where it leads.

Nikolas tells Ava that she’s right. Spencer has to own his mistakes. Otherwise, he’ll never learn. He’ll never change, and he has to change. She says, if Spencer learns his lesson, no matter how painful it is, he has the chance to walk out of that jail a better man; more like his father. Nikolas flashes back to Alexis saying she believes in him, and looking at Shawn on his way out of Spring Ridge. He hugs Ava.

Jason says, Carly made the right decision, but Carly says, it doesn’t feel like it. He says, because she’s not used to it, and she says, she’s not used to making the right decision? and he says, she’s not used to letting things go. She says, that’s because it goes against every instinct she has. What kind of message is she sending Nina by letting her get away with this, what Nina did to her family? He says, he thinks Nina knows Carly isn’t okay with this, and she says, if Nina stays the hell away from her and her family, maybe they can avoid a war.

Phyllis says she’ll leave Nina and Sonny to talk. As she passes Sonny, she tells him to remember the Mike in him. Be kind.

Tomorrow, Jason says, whatever Austin wants from him, he’s not getting it; Carly says she can’t begin to tell someone what she’d like to do to Nina; Sonny says the ground rules need to be understood; and Nina asks if Sonny is telling her to get out of town. I think she’s asking Sonny, but they’ve fooled me before.

Vanderpump Rules

Charli whined to her boyfriend on the phone about pickleball, and in Lala’s interview, she called it old man’s tennis. She said she was used to dating legit athletes, but Randall had become obsessed with pickleball, so she knew she was whipped. He wanted to nail Schwartz, but Lala didn’t want Katie on her case. James said, after the pickleball tournament, they’d come back to the house for pool party vibes. Katie told Schwartz that he let Sandoval steamroll him, and she wasn’t the only one who noticed. We flashed back to Sandoval doing some steamrolling, and Schwartz said, what did he care? He was making moves. Katie said, Sandoval made moves, and Schwartz just agreed. In Schwartz’s interview, he said Katie was steamrolling him about being steamrolled. He told her that he cared more about what was happening than what people thought, but she said, he needed to care about that too. There was talk about a pickleball court. Is that really a thing? Seriously, it sounds like a kid’s game.

In Brock’s interview, he said he was good at all athletics. Come at him. In Sandoval’s interview, he said, the theme of the tournament was 1980s Wimbledon, and they were dressing accordingly, including headbands and awesome hair. James welcomed everyone to the 1^st Annual Pickleball Open, and Lala and James were the first up. Lala got pissed off pretty fast, and in James’s interview, he said Lala was being ridiculous. Raquel played with grace and elegance, while Lala was throwing rackets in the air like an effing nutter. Sandoval said his technique was distraction, whether it was the hair or his whistle. Psychological warfare. In Katie’s interview, she said opponents were a random draw, and she randomly drew the most annoying player – Sandoval. In Randall against Brock, surprisingly, Randall won. I guess Brock isn’t as good as he thinks at all things athletic. And he’d been practicing all morning.  The final match was Schwartz versus Randall, and in Katie’s interview, she hoped it gave Schwartz the boost of confidence he needed. Lala acted like one of those Little League parents, cheering Randall on and hurling insults at Schwartz. Randall won.

Sandoval made a million phone calls, and in his interview, James said, Sandoval was helping him plan. They were the only ones who knew about it, and they were having performers, vendors, margaritas, tacos, and fireworks. He wouldn’t have been able to do it without Sandoval. Sandoval wondered if it was real life. They had DJ James Kennedy on an acre in Palm Springs. They played a round of Jenga, their own version, where tasks were written on the pieces, like compose a rap song, or make a toast. In news you didn’t need to know, Sandoval had taken a pee on his faux fur jacket when he was drunk the night before. I have to say, I’ve tied a few on in my time, but I have never, ever mistaken my coat for a toilet. Or anything else, for that matter. In Raquel’s interview, she said, normally she tried to forget James and Lala slept together. (God knows I did until this reminder.) It made her feel insecure, since Lala’s self-esteem was through the roof. Raquel should take a psychology course because, oh no Lala isn’t. Methinks she compensates. Raquel said she’d competed in pageants to build confidence. She wasn’t mean to others, but she was mean to herself. Lala got the task of putting on Sandoval’s coat. In her interview, Lala said she’d never heard of someone turning a faux fur coat into a peacoat. BA-DUM-CHH!

Scheana brought mom Ericka along to Palm Springs. They had their own house, and Ericka was staying with the baby so they could join in the festivities. In Brock’s interview, he said the friction between him and Scheana’s mom was heated; you could feel it. Ericka was opinionated AF. In Scheana’s interview, she said, Brock and her mother butted heads over pretty much everything. She told Brock that it hurt her soul when they butted heads. She added that she was still hormonal, and he wondered how long she was going to play that card. She figured she had at least another year.

Back at Airbnb, Raquel’s Jenga task had been to give a toast, and Sandoval gave her the floor, saying he was leaving it to the professional. In Raquel’s interview, she said, once she started anticipating a speech, she went even more brain dead. She said she was grateful for this man, and indicated James. Cheers to that. Well, at least she was concise. In Sandoval’s interview, he said, everyone thought tomorrow was Ourchella, but it was really R Chella, which stood for Rachella. Raquel and James sat outside, and she wondered why she had to pull the piece that said make a toast. She’d never gotten to the point where she was super confident in talking in front of people, even people she felt comfortable around. James said making a toast was different than just talking to people, and Raquel said she flashed back to being quiet in school, and never raising her hand. James told her not to dwell on the past. Just work on it, and it would get better. Raquel said being around someone like Lala was super intimidating, and in her interview, she said, James and Lala had a lot in common. We flashed back to them both insulting people about being fat on separate occasions. Raquel said they both spoke their minds, and didn’t give a f*** what anyone thought. James said she didn’t want to be loud obnoxious, and it scared him that she would say that. She just needed to step out of her box to see the box. Huh? She said she’d been pushing outside her comfort zone her whole life. She couldn’t understand – wait for it – how he wasn’t embarrassed by her. He said he didn’t care if she wasn’t good at public speaking, and in his interview, he said it was these kind of moments when he stepped in. He thought that’s what would make him a good husband in the future; knowing how she was feeling, and making her feel better. He told her that he was there to tell her she could do everything.

Schwartz said Katie thought Sandoval was steamrolling him – to Sandoval. Katie told him not to Yoko Ono her, and in Sandoval’s interview, he said Schwartz was no John Lennon. More like Ringo Starr. Except he said it in Pig Latin, which was incredibly stupid. Schwartz said he had felt steamrolled about the new bar’s name, but Sandoval insisted he’d done no steamrolling, and Schwartz said, okay, and took the blame for not asserting his feelings. In Katie’s interview, she said we just saw it in real time. Sandoval steamrolling Schwartz, and Schwartz claiming he was not steamrolled. Charli saged the house because of the dumb bitches, and then saged herself, saying she was a dumb bitch too. I actually like her better now that she revealed her food issues. Her behavior and reactions to things make more sense. Sandoval and James pretended to be going food shopping, but were making sure everything was in place for R Chella. In James’s interview, he said it was going to be mind blowing, and in Sandoval’s interview, he said, most people wouldn’t spend on their friend’s engagement, especially when they were getting a home equity loan, but an engagement was a once in a lifetime opportunity. You could always borrow more money. He and James skipped through the balloon archway.

Scheana and Brock, and Lala and Randall, got together with their respective babies. In Lala’s interview, she thought it was strange that her baby was having a playdate with Scheana’s baby. They were moms. This was real. Although I don’t know how much of a playdate it was, with the babies sleeping through it and all. Brock said he had two children from a previous relationship, his first being born when he was twenty. In his interview, he said when they split up, he felt like he was abandoning them by moving to the US, but their stepdad fulfilled his role. His daughter with Scheana was named Summer, and – wait for it again – his other daughter was named Winter, and – keep waiting – they had the same birthday. Scheana claimed she’d wanted to name a daughter Summer since she was 16, even though we flashed back to her giving some other name several seasons ago. (To be fair, on Watch What Happens Live, she said it was Rob who wanted the other name, and she was just going along with it, which is believable.) Brock said he hadn’t seen his kids in four years, which freaked Lala out, although they are on different continents. In Scheana’s interview, she said it sounded bad, but there was more to it. It wasn’t for lack of trying. Brock had moved to the US to provide a better life for his family. Brock said his ex had cut his whole family out. In Lala’s interview, she said, it was a big deal. What world was Brock living in? In Brock’s interview, he got choked up about the last time he saw them, so I tend to believe Scheana that this is a problem with the ex.

Sandoval said, all his hard work had come to this moment. Everyone got ready for R Chella that they thought was Our Chella. They had a shot outside, and James said they were taking a van to a magical place. In his interview, he said he wanted it over with, but wanted to enjoy it. He didn’t know how to feel. They went to the literal Coachella grounds in the city of Coachella, and Ariana thought she was going to cry, but everyone was a little confused over the sign saying, R Chella. There were acrobats on silks, fire dancers, a photo booth, tacos, and margaritas. In James’s interview, he said, seeing Raquel’s face made all the planning, running around, anxiety, sweating, and spending worth it. They toasted to R Chella, and James got in the DJ booth and welcomed them. In Raquel’s interview, she said Coachella was something she and James looked forward to, and she loved seeing James DJ’ing and living his best life. IMO, it seemed weird, all this stuff going on for just a few people dancing around. Raquel said it was one of the coolest surprises ever. In his interview, James said he believed everything happened for a reason, and all things guided you. All his drinking issues and other problems had led to this moment. He was nervous AF.

Raquel and James went for a walk. James said it had been a helluva year, and Raquel had stuck with him. They got to the beach, where there was a sign done in gold mylar letter balloons that said, Rachella. He told her, since the day he laid his eyes on her, he knew she was the girl of his dreams. It was the best five years of his life, and he was excited to wake up every day. He got down on one knee, and said he loved her more than anything. It would be an honor if she would marry him. She cried, and said, yes, and fireworks went off. Okay. I have to admit Sandoval is good at party planning. It was impressive. Sandoval passed out posters, and said, James just proposed.

Next time, Schwartz and Katie try to make a baby; Katie says, when everyone else is pregnant and you’re not, it’s added stress; Raquel’s older sister isn’t supportive of her relationship with James; Lala questions Scheana about Brock’s kids; and Sandoval says Katie acts entitled.  

🐎 The Legend Continues…

Keeping it simple, so see you tomorrow for Erika versus the world, or at least Andy Cohen, and the usual soap. Until then, stay safe, stay indomitable, and stay remembering the Mike in you, and be kind.