What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

I swear I had extra time, but this is what I missed. Trina, Portia, and Jordan went to the courthouse. When the guard brought Taggert out, Trina ran to him. Carly told Jason that she’d talked to Cyrus, and Cyrus invited himself to sit at Laura and Martin’s table, saying he had something to celebrate himself. Cameron went to Curtis’s club, where TJ was helping Curtis move furniture around. Obrecht showed up at Anna’s house, and Peter showed up at the hospital. He told Elizabeth that he wanted to take responsibility for her husband’s death. That’s when I sat down…

The guard tells Trina, keep away from the prisoner, and she asks if he’s telling her that she can’t hug her father. Taggert says he didn’t expect her to be there, and she says, where else would she be? She asks Taggert to please tell her that he’s changing his plea. Before he does something he regrets, she needs her father with her, not in prison. She tells the guard, you may go, and he takes Taggert into the courtroom. At the door, Taggert turns and tells Trina that he loves her. She says, then change his plea. He goes inside, and Trina tells Josslyn and Portia, he’s not going to do it, is he? Josslyn says they’ll do what they can to save his life, and Portia says, it might not be up to him. The judge could deny the change of plea. Trina says, her dad could still go to prison anyway.

Jordan asks Taggert what he’s going to do, when the judge comes in. The bailiff says, all rise.

Cameron asks Curtis what he’s done with the social media for the club, and Curtis says he hasn’t even picked out a name yet. It’s a little early to set that up. Cameron says, it’s never too early. It needs to be done as soon as possible, and as soon as Curtis figures out a name, the content will be ready to go. Curtis gets that the account is crucial, and Cameron says they want to get the word out. Doesn’t he want as many people lining up around the block as possible? Curtis says, it makes sense, but he hasn’t even hired any employees yet. Cameron knows he doesn’t work for him, right? Cameron says he knows, but wants to help. He wants to thank Curtis for what Curtis did for him.  

Elizabeth says, Peter wants to take responsibility for her husband’s death? Why? Did Peter kill him? Peter says, all he’s saying is, if the Invader article announcing the return of Franco’s tumor contributed to his death in any way, he deeply regrets it. He’d like to make amends. She asks, how? and he says, by telling her story. They can convict Jason in the court of public opinion together. She tells him, shut up. She doesn’t want to hear another word out of his lying mouth.

Carly tells Jason, if they return Cyrus’s mother to him, the witness will recant. All they have is one person who saw Jason with a weapon, and they’ll have to let him go. He says he’s not going anywhere. They’re not taking the deal.

Laura tells Cyrus, she’s not afraid of making a scene. She could call security and have him removed. He says, his brother rates a place in the family celebration, and he doesn’t? He doesn’t understand how Martin got the reputation as the good brother. She says she’s sure Martin isn’t perfect, and Cyrus says, the stories he could tell. She says, the fact that Martin isn’t a homicidal drug lord – sorry, alleged homicidal drug lord – counts. Cyrus says, if Martin is so kind and warmhearted, why is he so aloof about their mother’s well-being? He doesn’t seem the least bothered. Who knows what terror their mother is in? Martin says, their mother is fine, and Cyrus says Martin is telling him that as if he knows something. Martin wouldn’t be foolish enough keep information from him, would he?   

Obrecht tells Anna that she doesn’t appreciated being summoned. Least of all by those who defended her persecutors. Anna says she called Obrecht because something horrible happened. Dante attacked Peter. Obrecht says, how wonderful! But Anna said horrible. Does that mean Peter survived? Anna says, he did. Dante was stopped before he even hurt Peter. Obrecht says, oh well, and Anna says she doesn’t seem surprised. Obrecht says she reads The Invader for three things; natural disasters, medical miracles, and the obituaries, especially for Peter’s which has not yet appeared. The news is no more surprising than someone finishing Faison off. Anna says Obrecht didn’t ask why Dante went after Peter, and Obrecht says, everyone knows Dante has suffered from PTSD ever since his ordeal in the middle-east. The WSB let him go prematurely, and Peter has never been Dante’s favorite person. Match, fuse, boom. Anna says, interesting theory, and Obrecht says she answered Anna’s questions, now she wants to ask one. What does this have to do with her? Anna says, it’s obvious, isn’t it? Obrecht’s relationship with the late Dr. Kirk.

Peter says Elizabeth can’t believe he killed Franco. She should thank him for saving Franco. She says, from the gunman in the OR, and Peter says he’s glad he was there. She says, Peter hired him; he tried to have Franco killed. He says she’s been listening to Obrecht’s accusations, and she says, Sam told her. He says, Sam hates him too, and she says, because he sabotaged Drew’s plane. He says, it was a tragedy, but Sam is blind to the truth. She wants to believe accusations from unreliable sources, and turn the blame on Faison’s son. Finn tells Peter to go somewhere else. Peter says he’s being persecuted the same way as Franco was, and Elizabeth lunges for him, Finn holding her back.

Cameron tells TJ, he’s been broken up over Franco’s murder, and Curtis gave him some great advice; turn his anger into something positive. Curtis tricked him doing exactly that. Curtis says he didn’t trick Cameron, and Cameron says, Curtis just happened to have a guitar. Curtis says he found it in the back, and brought it out, but Cameron says, seems like a set up. then Trina got him to sing. TJ asks how Cameron felt afterward, and Cameron says, better. He’s still sad, still missing Franco, and still wants justice, but he’s less twisted up about it. TJ says, sounds like Curtis did do something good, and Curtis says he appreciates that Cameron wants to help, but he’s surprised Cameron isn’t at the courthouse. Cameron asks what he missed, and Curtis says, Taggert’s hearing is today. Cameron says, then he’s got to go, but Curtis won’t get rid of him that easily. He leaves.

The judge says the defendant has previously pleaded guilty. Does he understand the consequences, and is he prepared for sentencing? Taggert gets up, and says, after much consideration, he’s decided to change his plea to not guilty. The prosecuting lawyer says, the people object, and the judge asks to see them in his chambers. Jordan tells Taggert, he made the right choice, and Taggert says Trina would never forgive him if he hadn’t. he just hopes it works.

Laura tells Cyrus to stop twisting what Martin is saying, and he asks if she’s assuming to tell him about his own brother, who he’s literally known his whole life. She says, why shouldn’t she? He’s got it wrong. They both know Jason wouldn’t hurt their mother. Cyrus says he knows his baby brother is lying. When their mother was first taken, he was just as upset as Cyrus, and now he’s fine with it. Tell him where she is. Martin says he doesn’t know, but he saw her a month ago.  

Carly asks Jason what he means, they’re not taking the deal. He was mad when she took Florence to begin with. He says, because it was a dishonorable move, but it worked. Cyrus’s hands are tied, and he’s not giving up the leverage. Carly says she can’t stand Jason being in there, and he says, then prove his innocence. Talk to Elizabeth. She says she did, but Elizabeth is so grief stricken, she wouldn’t listen. He says Elizabeth can only testify that she saw him kneeling near Franco, and it’s circumstantial evidence. What about the witness? Cyrus thinks they can be bought. Carly says, she can. It’s Gladys.

Obrecht says she had no relationship with Kirk, and Anna asks how that’s possible. When Obrecht was in the WSB facility in Geneva, both she and Dante were his patients. Obrecht admits she was his patient, but says, so? Anna says she must be familiar with Kirk’s methods. Did he ever hypnotize her? Obrecht says, never. She knew about it from Franco after he consulted with Kirk, and if Kirk is dead, what does it matter? Wait. Is Anna saying Kirk’s treatment led Dante to attack Peter? Anna tells her, what she’s saying is, Obrecht had more than a doctor/patient relationship with Kirk. He transferred her from Steinmaur to his cushy clinic. Obrecht says Kirk believed in her innocence, despite the efforts to frame her. Anna says, it’s not about Obrecht’s innocence. It’s about what Kirk could do for her. So maybe she made a deal… maybe she seduced him…? Obrecht says, never. It’s always her fault, but she’s not the guilty party. She did not seduce Kirk; she was his prisoner. He had her life and freedom in his hands, and she was at his mercy. She did what she had to, like Anna did with Faison.

Taggert and Jordan come out, and Trina asks, what happened? Are they letting him go? Taggert says, not as yet, but Trina did convince him to change his plea to not guilty. Trina thanks him, and asks what the hold-up is, and Jordan says, it’s just a recess, so the judge can talk to them. Taggert says, he told her that he might not be able to change his plea, but Trina reminded him not to quit. She asks if by remind he means badger.

Cameron arrives at the courthouse, and Josslyn says he’s there. He tells her that she should have said something. Why didn’t she text him? Trina says they didn’t want stress him out, but he says he’s not stressed to be standing by his friends. They have to stick together. Josslyn says, damn right they do.

Court resumes, and they’re reminded it’s a closed hearing. Trina tells Taggert, good luck, and tells Cameron that she’s sorry she didn’t tell him about it, but she’s glad he’s there. Cameron says, always.   

Martin tells Cyrus that he saw their mother last month. Cyrus says, and Martin didn’t tell him? Laura says, the important thing is that she’s fine, and Cyrus says, how could he? Martin knew he was sick with worry, and Martin says, only because he’s not in control. Cyrus says because their mother wasn’t there, where she needed to be. Martin says he concerned about their mother’s health, and Cyrus says he has to give Martin credit. He didn’t think Martin had a spine. Martin says, surprise, and Cyrus says he hopes Martin enjoyed his bout of fortitude; it’s over now. Where is she? Martin says he told Cyrus that he doesn’t know. After he and Jackie saw her… Cyrus says, Jackie Templeton, of course (🍷). Martin says, after they saw Florence, she was moved to a new location. He truly has no idea where she is now, but he knows she’s safe. Cyrus says, she belongs with him, and Laura says he thinks of his mother as a possession. Martin says he wants what’s best for their mama. That’s why he kept silent. Cyrus asks if that’s the story Martin has been telling Laura. He has news for her.

Elizabeth says, how dare Peter compare himself to Franco? How dare he speak Franco’s name? Peter says, all he was saying… and she says, Peter is nothing like Franco. Franco was hated for the terrible things he did, but he wasn’t in control when he did them, and did everything in his power to stop. Peter chose not to stop, and no one is buying his wronged man act. Finn says, Maxie turned inside out defending Peter, but now she knows the truth. Peter isn’t evil by birth; he chose to be. Peter says, none of it is true. There’s no proof, no evidence. That’s why he’s a free man. Elizabeth says, everybody knows he did it, and Finn says, sooner or later, Peter is going to get what he deserves. It will be a glorious day, but until then, get the hell out.

Jason says, Gladys said she saw him put the gun down the garbage shoot? and Carly says, it makes sense. Of course (🍷) Cyrus paid her to lie; her story is bogus. Jason says, it makes no sense. Why would Cyrus use Gladys? He’d probably be better off using a person from the neighborhood. She says, Gladys probably volunteered. What better way to get back at their family? He says, it’s all the more reason not to take what Gladys says seriously; she’s a lousy witness. What was she doing at Franco’s art studio? She’s also the mother of one of Cyrus’s employees. Getting a random person would have been smarter, but Cyrus didn’t. That can only mean one thing. Gladys was there, and really saw something.

Anna says Faison was obsessed with her and terrorized her. Obrecht says her skin crawled at his advances. Sometimes she can still feel his hands on her even though he’s gone. Good riddance to that schwein. Anna asks if Kirk assaulted Obrecht. She’s sorry if that happened. Obrecht says, now he’s dead, and Anna says, yes, he is.   

Trina tells Cameron and Josslyn that she wishes she was in the courtroom, when she gets a text from Jordan. She tells them, the judge accepted Taggert’s plea. There’s happiness all around.

The defense lawyer says, now that the not guilty plea has been accepted, they’ll move on to bail. The prosecutor says Taggert already faked his death once, and the defense says Taggert is willing to wear an ankle monitor. The prosecutor says, an ankle monitor can be tampered with, and the judge says, Taggert is clearly a flight risk. Jordan gets up, and asks if she can address the court. 

TJ tells Curtis, nice work. Cameron made it sound like Curtis helped him. Curtis says, sounds like it, and TJ says, he can tell Curtis is less stressed. He’s embraced his new gig; it looks good on him. Curtis says, thanks. Does this mean TJ is ready to talk about what he’s been sitting on since he got there?

Martin says, at least he cares about doing the right thing, and Cyrus says, is that so? Did he do the right thing when he helped Julian get out of town after Julian blew The Floating Rib to kingdom come? Laura asks if that’s true, and Martin says he found Julian in his office the morning after. Julian had discovered a photo of him and Cyrus when they were children, and threatened to make it public. Cyrus says, and Martin turned yellow. He was Martin’s dirty little secret. Laura says she can’t believe Martin helped the man who planted the bomb to escape, but Martin says he didn’t know any of that. All he knew was that Julian said Sonny was going to kill him, and  the way it worked out, that seems right. Cyrus laughs, and says, lovely story. Now tell him, if Martin cares so much about the sanctity of life, why did Martin call him when Julian left his office? Laura looks at Martin quizzically.  

Peter tells Elizabeth, he’ll go. It wasn’t his intention to cause a scene. She asks how it was an accident. He knows what buttons to push. He says she should really think about telling her story. Jason has been arrested, like, 100 times, and every time he’s walked. Does she want him to get away with Franco’s murder? Finn suggests Peter leave before he gets thrown out, and Peter says Jason will be tried in the court of public opinion, and Robert will have no choice but to send him to prison for life. Elizabeth starts to call security, and Peter says, don’t let Jason get away with murder. He goes into the elevator, and Elizabeth says, never mind. It’s been taken care of. Finn asks if she’s okay.

Carly tells Jason that Gladys says she saw him drop the gun in the garbage shoot at Franco’s art studio. The PCPD searched for the gun and found it. She’s an easy witness to discredit. He says, she’s only useful if she’s telling the truth. That means she saw the real killer ditch the gun. She saw Peter.

Obrecht asks what Anna is going to do now; harass the Swiss police into looking into Kirk’s death again? Anna says, it doesn’t sound like anyone will miss him. The important thing is, Kirk is dead. Any influence he had over Dante is obsolete. Obrecht supposes it is, and Anna says, however, were Dante triggered again, it would clue her in that Kirk had a partner, and she’d go after that person, and bring them down hard. Obrecht says, naturally, and Anna says, the other thing she wanted Obrecht to be aware of is, it’s time Peter paid for his crimes. Obrecht laughs, and says, after all Anna did to cover for Peter, and Anna says, he’s an immediate and ongoing threat. Obrecht asks, what convinced her? and Anna says, Peter murdered Franco.

Jordan and Taggert come out, and Trina asks, what happened? Jordan says, the judge granted bail; Taggert will wear an ankle monitor. Trina hugs him.  

TJ says he’s good, but Curtis says he can tell something is on TJ’s mind. TJ says, it’s nothing; it’s graduation. Curtis says, graduating from medical school is a huge accomplishment. He’s proud of TJ. TJ thanks him, and says he needs to order tickets, but they’re assigned seats. Will Curtis and his mom sit together, or does he have to seat them separately? Curtis says he’s pretty sure they can manage to sit together on TJ’s big day, and he’s pretty sure that TJ already knows that. As to what TJ really wants to know… TJ asks if Curtis and Jordan are over. Are they getting a divorce?

Laura asks why Martin called Cyrus after Julian left in his car, and Martin suggests Cyrus field this. Cyrus says, because Martin knew he could use the information to get to Julian before Sonny did. Great guy, huh? A truly upstanding citizen. Martin says he’s so sorry. He hasn’t led a blameless life, but he didn’t lie. He just left it out. Cyrus says, a lie by omission. What is Laura so upset about? He told her they were cut from the same cloth. There’s a little bit of darkness in each of them. He’s just more honest about it. He leaves, and I think, he does have a point.

Elizabeth tells Finn that Peter actually believed he could manipulate her by comparing himself to Franco, when he put the target on Franco’s back in the first place. Finn says he should have let her hit him, and she asks why he didn’t. He says, knowing Peter, he’d have her arrested for assault, and Elizabeth says, everyone would probably throw her a parade.

Carly says, Gladys saw Peter ditch the gun? All the more reason to take the deal. Cyrus will tell Gladys to recant, and they can persuade her to implicate Peter. Jason says, once Florence is back, Cyrus will put her where no one can find her and come after them. They’ll be back where they were before they took Florence in the first place. That’s why it’s a bad idea. It only works if they keep Florence. She says, he can’t leave, and she can’t take Cyrus on by herself. He says she doesn’t have to. She has an ally on the outside, who she can rely on. She asks, who?

Anna says Jason was seen after Franco was killed, and Obrecht says she heard about it in The Invader. Anna tells her, Jason says he’s innocent, and makes a compelling case. Peter killed Franco because Franco was hearing Peter’s voice. Obrecht says, a leftover memory from Drew. She knew about that, but it never occurred to her that Franco was in danger. She tears up, and says she should have realized Drew’s memories could incriminate Peter, and Peter would kill to silence them. She should have warned Franco or confronted Peter sooner. Anna says, or they could have joined forces and stopped Peter. Obrecht says, she’s partly responsible for the death of her lieben Franco, but Anna says, there’s only one person responsible. Obrecht says, he must pay, and Anna says, he must be brought to justice, not killed. She means it. Peter needs to pay with his freedom, not his life. Through her tears, Obrecht says, she wants Franco to be alive and well, but we can’t always get what we want, and she leaves.

Curtis tells TJ that he and Jordan are separated. That’s their status; nothing has changed one way or the other. TJ says, they’re not divorced, so they can still get back together. Is there any chance? Curtis says he respects TJ’s concern, but this is between TJ’s mother and him; no one else. TJ says, okay, he gets it, except he has the feeling his mother is in limbo. Does Curtis have any idea if moving forward will lead them back together? How is Curtis going to figure out what comes next, if he hasn’t resolved his marriage? Curtis says, look around. He’s making changes in his life that he needs to make. TJ says, great, but he wants to know if there’s room in Curtis’s new life for Jordan.

Trina says, now that Taggert is there, is he coming home? Taggert says, the judge granted bail. Jordan stepped up. Cameron guesses a character reference from the Commissioner goes a long way, and Trina says she should thank Jordan. Portia thanks Jordan for speaking on Taggert’s behalf, and Taggert says, she did more than that. Jordan says, she’s taking personal responsibility for Taggert. He’s going to be staying with her.

Martin tells Laura not to let Cyrus poison what’s between them. She says she’s not, but he says he’s watching her pull up the drawbridge. Cyrus’s twisted account looks bad, but they can talk through it, and it will be fine. She says, they can, but not right now. One thing he said in their conversation was that they don’t know each other. He says he was hoping to change that. It was the point tonight’s celebration, right? She says, it was, and he says, fine. Maybe they can get back to it on Easter. She says, about that. She’s sorry, but she thinks the invitation to celebrate Easter with her family was premature. They’re just not there yet. He says, of course (🍷). He understands. I don’t, and I’m very disappointed in Laura. It’s a holiday for God’s sake.

Cyrus goes to Jason’s cell, and tells him, good afternoon. He wanted to see the rare spectacle of Jason behind bars himself before Jason’s pending release. Jason says he’s not being released, but Cyrus says, of course (🍷) he is. Carly just left there. She must have explained. Jason says they’re not taking the deal. He’ll tell Cyrus’s mother that Cyrus said hello.  

Anna goes to the door, and opens it to find Carly. Carly says, they need to talk about Peter.

Peter sees Obrecht at the hospital, and as she’s looking at her phone, he comes up behind her. He says, she and Franco were close. He’s so sorry for her loss. She says he should be; he killed Franco. He laughs, and says, sure. He killed Franco, Drew, Jimmy Hoffa, and the Romanovs. So many accusations, so little proof. Go ahead and point the finger at him. He wants her to. Then she can sit back and watch him and Maxie live a long, happy life, and raising their children, who will never know what oma even means. She says, Maxie despises him, and Anna and Valentin, the only people who tried to love him, have turned their backs on him. Drew is dead, Franco is dead, and her beloved Nathan. They cry out for justice, and justice is coming, Henrik. Coming for you at last.

Tomorrow, Taggert asks Jordan how they’re going to nail Cyrus, Diane asks if Alexis will let her fight for her, and Cyrus asks if Jason is ready to turn it around.

Below Deck Sailing Yacht

Primary Barrie tells Dani that he wants everyone eating at the same time. In Natasha’s interview, she says she’s not a Hindu god with eight arms. She’s dealing with nine different guests, who want nine different steaks, cooked at nine different temperatures, and they want mashed potatoes and fries. She’s an effing chef, not a clown. She doesn’t do magic. Glenn asks Daisy how it’s going, and she says, they’re all ordering different things, and Barrie wants it all to come out at the same time. Tony gripes that his food is cold, and Glenn tells Daisy they’ll think about it for tomorrow, and see what they can do to get the guests served all at once. Barrie tells one of the kids, enjoy it now, because when they go home, he’s going to fat camp. Do they even still have such a thing?

Jean Luc tells Dani that American girls are boring. He needs something fresh, new, and southern. Glenn asks the guests how they’re doing, and Barrie says, everything is good. He asks if they’ve enjoyed the sailing, and Barrie says, it’s absolutely fantastic. Glenn says he hopes do more tomorrow, and Barrie asks what else they can do. Glenn says they have dinghies and paddleboards, and planned a beach picnic. Jean Luc helps Dani with the dishes and flirts. In Gary’s interview, he says he’s never seen three of the deck crew helping the interior. He’d never get that kind of help from them.  

In the crew mess, Gary tells Alli that Sydney doesn’t get up until 2. Alli is getting some food, and says she eats a kilo of spinach a week. She has an addictive personality. They talk horror films, and Alli says her favorite is The Hills Have Eyes, but doesn’t specify if it’s the original (which was great) or the remake (which stunk the place up). Sydney’s antennae go up, and she gets out of bed, stumbling into the crew mess. Gary and Dani both ask why she’s awake, and she says her headphones fell off, and she heard them. She might as well get back to work. In Sydney’s interview, she says she hates nights. She feels like she’s missing out on things. Now she has to sit in her feelings, scrubbing teak.

In the morning, Colin takes up the anchor, and Glenn says they’ll be there in 20. The guests are up, and Natasha says, effing great. Glenn tells Gary to claim the beach for the guests’ picnic, and give the stink eye to anyone who might be there; act like it’s a private beach. In her interview, Natasha says she’s a perfectionist, and the last service was a disaster. Her ego is bruised, but she didn’t train in the best restaurants in the world to be taken down by Barrie. Barrie asks how daughter Saffron feels about having her ex-boyfriend Scott as a stepdad, and she says he’ll never be her dad. Scott says she loves him, and she says, in his wildest dreams. Breakfast is served, and Daisy wonders about Natasha serving a poached egg in hollandaise sauce. In her interview, Natasha says, bitch, I don’t question how you make a bed; don’t question how I poach an egg. Barrie says, it’s drowning in sauce; it’s like soup. He sends it back, saying he just wants the egg, and I have to agree with him this time. Alli brings it to the galley, and in Natasha’s interview, she says she’s never had a poached egg without hollandaise sauce. It’s a normal thing. I don’t know how they do it in other countries, but in the US, that’s eggs benedict, and I’ve never seen it with that much sauce. Barrie wonders how hard it is to poach an egg. He can do it, and he’s not a chef. He adds that he hasn’t worked in the best restaurants, using air quotes. Daisy complains to Alli about the egg situation.  

In Gary’s interview, he says Jean Luc is doing some work. A little sleep makes all the difference. Jean Luc loads the tender for the beach picnic. Daisy whines to Glenn that Barrie wanted a poached egg, and Natasha thought it should be eggs benedict, but he didn’t want it. Natasha comes up to the bridge, and Daisy says she was just letting the captain know about the egg situation. In Natasha’s interview, she says, Daisy is such a bitch, running to Glenn about hollandaise sauce. Go dust a lamp. She says Daisy just wants to kiss Glenn’s ass, but she sees who Daisy is.   

Daisy wants to speak to the guests about today’s plan, and says they can go to the beach, do some swimming, and have lunch. Glenn suggests getting in some sailing, and Daisy says, sounds like a plan. The guests agree. At the beach, Gary sees some people, but they tell him that they’re only staying an hour. Daisy asks if Barrie wants lunch on the boat or the beach, and he says, after the crap he was served this morning, he wants to make the chef’s job harder. They should have brought their own chef. Daisy suggests having lunch on the boat, since it’s fresher, and they have more liquor. In Daisy’s interview, she says they haven’t pulled off a smooth service on the boat, let alone on the beach. Barrie orders sushi and teriyaki chicken for lunch. No sauces except for the teriyaki. He threatens to cook the next meal himself, and Daisy radios Gary, saying the guests are going to have lunch on the boat.  

Daisy gives Natasha the lunch order, and tells her, no sauce; the guests are still traumatized by the hollandaise. She says if Natasha needs help, let her know. Some of the kids want to swim to the beach, and Barrie tells them to race for a pair of Louis Vuitton shoes. As they swim, he says they’re not his kids; his kids would do anything for Louis Vuitton shoes. He doesn’t like losers in this family. He tells them if they make it to shore, he’ll buy all three of them a pair of shoes. In Gary’s interview, he says he’s speechless. It’s a bit overboard. I think he’s so shocked, he doesn’t even realize he made a pun. Daisy tells Alli that the guests are off the boat; they can breathe. Alli asks what time dinner is, and Daisy says they’re aiming for 8. The guests relax on the beach, and Barrie asks if they could get some simple sandwiches for a snack, and have lunch pushed up to 2:30. Gary radios Glenn, and says the guests want light sandwiches, and they’re moving lunch to 2:30. They also want cocktails on the beach. Daisy says, effing a-hole, and in Natasha’s interview, she thinks she’d be better off perfecting the sushi than making sandwiches.

Gary takes the tender back from the beach, and in his interview, he says, for some reason the thingamajig (my word – a technical term) isn’t coming down in the back, but he can hear the clutch, clicking in and out of gear. He radios Colin to meet him and look at the tender. Daisy asks Dani for help, while Colin checks out the tender. He says, holy sh*t, and in his interview, explains that a hydraulic line has burst, and there’s oil everywhere inside the tender. Barrie bitches that the sandwiches are taking a long time. He feels like he’s wasting away. As if. He’s worried about complaining to the chef, since she might spit in his food. Glenn asks if Colin thinks a hose snapped, and in Colin’s interview, he says, the charter can’t operate without a tender. The guests are stuck on the beach, and they need to figure out a solution asap.

Gary, Colin, and Glenn check out the tender. The sandwiches are ready, and Daisy comes out. Glenn says the boat probably hit the tender, and in his interview, he wonders, what else could go wrong? He calls Bruno, the marina manager, and asks if there’s a tender he could rent. Barrie texts Glenn, and says he reckons Jean Luc looks amazing in fishnets. In Jean Luc’s interview, he says, if that’s what they want. Where TF is Gary? Glenn says, hopefully, the tender will be there in a half hour. Daisy suggests someone paddleboard over with the drinks and sandwiches. Glenn says, that’s not a bad idea, and radios the deck crew, asking who would like to take some frozen umbrella drinks and sandwiches to the beach on a paddleboard. Gary says he can do that, and Jean Luc tells the guests that the tender is malfunctioning, so someone is bringing the drinks and sandwiches on a paddleboard. Barrie says he thought the chef was slaughtering a cow for beef. Sydney paddles off, and Jean Luc radios that the guests are getting a bit irritated. Barrie wonders if he’s being punked, and Jean Luc tells him that Sydney is paddling their drinks and sandwiches to the beach. Barrie asks if they’ve met Sydney, and Jean Luc says she’s short and very pretty. Barrie asks if that’s Jean Luc’s personal assessment, and who he thinks is the prettiest. I will never understand why guests consistently try to match up crew members. You don’t screw the crew. Jean Luc says he thinks Dani would be the prettiest in his opinion. Sydney appears in the distance, and they all cheer her on. Daisy tells Dani that she can hear them. At least they’re happy. Dani says, for two seconds. Barrie bitches about the sandwich – wait for it – being too simple. The guests get ready to go back.

A tender comes from the marina, and in Gary’s interview, he says the last thing he wants to do is paddle 9 guests back. Sydney radios Glenn, and he says the tender is ready to go; they got back up. Glenn freaks out about the tender scratching the boat’s new paint job, and in his interview, he says, f*** me. What else can go wrong? I think he needs to stop saying that. Natasha says she can’t make sushi for 9 people while she’s making sandwiches. In her interview, she says she wants to do it right. The guests are so needy. She can’t make just sushi. It has to be important sushi. She wants to impress them with one thing. The guests return, and Gary compliments Jean Luc on entertaining them nicely. Everyone sits down for lunch. A half hour early.

Barrie says he has high expectations of this meal. In Natasha’s interview, she says they just ate sandwiches, and want lunch already. It’s 35 minutes early. Barrie asks if a chef who claims to have worked in five-star restaurants can’t rustle up something for 9 people. Is this dude daft? For one thing, it’s not a diner. She isn’t rustling up the food. And secondly, in a five-star restaurant, she has help. Daisy consults Glenn, telling him that the guests already sat down. In her interview, Daisy says she’s going to throw herself overboard. Daisy reminds Barrie that they wanted lunch at 2:30, but they can start bringing it out. Barrie says, that would be wonderful.

Alli asks Gary, what happened? and he says, the hoses in the tender broke. They have some banter, and he says, it’s good to see her smile. She looked upset. She needs a goodnight hug. Ugh. He’s such a d*ck. Barrie asks if Dani had to repopulate the earth after the apocalypse, who would she find attractive on the boat? In Dani’s interview, she says they have guests who either want nothing to do with the crew, or guests like Barrie. She can play along. Barrie asks who Dani thinks brought her up, and she says, JL. Barrie sings the them from The Love Boat, and in her interview, Dani says, hashtag embarrassed.   

Gary asks if the guests want the water toys. They have a sausage he can put out. Barrie says if he falls off, he’ll sink, Tony says he just wants to drink, and one of the kids runs to Barrie, saying, a creature could be in the water. I think he looks a little old for that nonsense, but whatever. The sushi is served, and Barrie declares it amazing. Natalie comes up, and he tells her, the sushi is delicious. She says she’s glad they’re enjoying it, and he says he didn’t say that, but it’s quite nice. If he was a normal person, I’d think he was kidding around, but in this case, I’m not sure. One of the kids wants fries, and in Natasha’s interview, she asks if he wants a bib with that.   

Glenn tells Gary that he doesn’t think the new hoses will be happening for a day or two. Until it gets sorted out, he guesses they’ll be toting two tenders. In his interview, he says, too many things going wrong at once. They’ve got to turn it around, and the department heads need to take it up a notch. If they can’t work together, that’s a problem. Barrie tells Tony that he’s going to ask Scott to marry him, and Tony gives Barrie a hug. Barrie says he was going to do it tonight, but they’re having a drag theme, and he doesn’t want his other persona to come out and ask. He wonders if it’s weird for Tony that he’s proposing on Tony’s birthday, but Tony says, it’s poetic in a way. The captain begins to put up the sails, and the kids look at the video Barrie took of them swimming.

The interior gets ready for the drag party, as the boat sails into the sunset. Dani asks Jean Luc who he picked, and he says, of course he picked her. He’s not going to lie. Dani tells Alli that she’s liking Jean Luc, and Alli says she thought Dani was just playing around, like she does with Gary. In Dani’s interview, she says she’s curious as to how that would work. She’s 5’3”, and her tallest boyfriend was 6’. Jean Luc has six inches on that. I’ll just leave that alone, since it’s way too easy. Daisy tells Glenn that they’re doing drag tonight. She’d love it if Gary dressed up. He doesn’t have to go full-on. Just put on a bit of makeup. She gets a hard no.  

Barrie helps the kids with their outfits, and takes pictures. Natasha gets the starters ready, and tells Daisy that one of the kids is having chicken nuggets. Daisy talks Colin into dressing up for a quick catwalk thing. Tony asks for fries, and Daisy relays that to Natasha. Natasha says she thought they wanted fries with their entrée, but Daisy says they want fries now. In Natasha’s interview, she says, WTF? They’re trying to f*** with her. She’s trying to please Barrie, and after all this, they ask for French fries. She just wants this charter to be over with. I don’t blame her. I really don’t like Barrie or Tony. Might as well lump Scott in with the kids, and it’s not their fault how they were raised. It’s like Barrie wants to come off sophisticated, but he’s really just a nouveau-riche snob. Like the Countess says, money can’t buy you class.

Barrie grumbles that he was expecting the chef to come out with each dish and tell him about it. She’s embarrassed; that’s why. Um… I’d say it’s probably because she’s too busy cooking fifty different things. The kid who can’t stay away from the vodka says he’ll take his wig off and kick her ass if the lobster isn’t any good. Barrie doesn’t even correct this notion, so what I said about class. Daisy radios Dani, and asks her to help the guys get ready. The guys are busy having a smoke on the uppermost deck, and Daisy wonders where they went. She wishes they’d stop running away. She tells Dani that she can’t find them.

The guys steel themselves for getting in drag, and Gary says they should all crack wood. Jean Luc is like, omg, and so am I. Alli helps Jean Luc into his frock, and Gary says people tell him that he has a nice ass. Might as well strut it. Daisy says she’s stressed out, as she puts Gary’s wig on him. Barrie asks for more beer, and Natasha hustles the guys out with one of the dishes. They dance around, vodka kid twerking, while Barrie films. They dance off, and Barrie fans himself, saying, it was brilliant. Scott says he didn’t expect it, and in Daisy’s interview, she says, at least Gary is showing effort. She’s sick of repeating herself. They should strive to give the guests the best experience, no matter what the situation is. If everyone did their part, she wouldn’t come across like such a bitch, and have to be a mom. It’s getting old fast. The guys take off their dresses.

Next time, Barrie says it will be a night to remember, Natalie makes a birthday cake, Daisy is incredibly angry and lectures the deck crew.

🎙 Over and Out…

Tomorrow, I promise to have enough tea for the party in New Jersey, but for now, I have to jet to another job. It’s online, so it’s not a far commute. Whether you’re being virtual or the real thing, stay safe, stay doing random acts of kindness, and stay sending back your egg if it’s not what you want, but not being a jerk about it.