Tag Archives: If Loving You is Wrong

Oct7

October 6, 2015 — GH, Wrong Loving, a Couch & a Squall

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

Is it Friday yet? Sleeping Beauty Sonny wakes up, while Ava and Julian take baby Avery out to dinner to celebrate her homecoming. I have the feeling Avery is probably ready for surf ‘n’ turf or at least lo mien.

“Jake” picked up Elizabeth’s phone while she was in the bathroom and knows she got a call from Hayden. Well, it probably has Nicholas’s number, so who knows what he must be thinking.

Kiki whines to Franco that she has nothing to do and no one to do it with. He suggests she move into Silas’s apartment with him and Nina, but Nina’s not too keen on that idea and I don’t blame her. Who wants this millennial whiner around them? Let’s see, she’s gorgeous, has money (I’m sure Silas left her some and she has the apartment) and is halfway intelligent (although not much evidence of that lately). Can’t she find somewhere to go? I’ve found her annoying for a while, but it could just be that I miss Kristen Alderson. A lot. Nina also doesn’t want to live in the “death apartment.” Again, good luck finding one that isn’t in Port Charles.

“Jake” says he wasn’t snooping, but he wanted to know what call upset Elizabeth so much. Patrick and Sam show up announcing their engagement, and Elizabeth is happier than they are. Patrick and Elizabeth get called to the hospital to deal with Sonny. Sam complains a little about significant others who are doctors and nurses, and have to go to work at a moment’s notice. Sounds good to me. Maybe not so much with nurses, but marrying a doctor must be great. They’re never home and they make a lot of money. Whoa. “Jake” has an amazing memory for things other than his identity. He remembered the phone number he saw on Elizabeth’s phone and has Sam look it up on her tablet.

Laura shows up at Windermere, and is wondering what’s up with Hayden being there. Nicholas has given Hayden some baloney about how Helena told her who Jake is, but not him. Okay. Like anyone is stupid enough to believe that. Elizabeth calls Nicholas and he seems to think that Hayden doesn’t remember anything. Does this mean he’s believing Hayden or falling for her? Hayden is hip to the fact that she’s making Laura nervous, and says she’ll find somewhere else to live. Seriously? Doesn’t this house have like 110 rooms? They never even have to see each other. Laura says it’s okay and that Hayden should stay.

Kiki gives a lot of exposition for new viewers as to what’s happened up until now with Nina, under the guise of telling Nina how sorry she is. No one talks like this IRL and it always makes me laugh. I’m not crazy about Nina’s dress. I love the style, but it’s some kind of cherry blossom pattern or something that looks like streaks of blood.

Paul says the same thing that every politician says when they get in office – he got left with a mess. He and Tracy discuss how reliable information from Michael might be. It’s probably about as reliable as information from anyone on this show. Paul says he’s going to talk to Michael. Fat lot of good this will do him.

I got confused for a second when Carly tells Sonny he had a seizure when they were about to get married. I’d totally forgotten they decided to do it in the hospital. Patrick tells Sonny that anxiety is a common side effect of anesthesia. Really? I’ve only had it once and it was the best sleep I ever had. He tests Sonny’s reflexes and I wonder if those are fake feet, because Sonny doesn’t react and I don’t know if anyone is that good of an actor. It’s making me move my feet. I’m still wondering why Sonny thought “Jake” was Jason, since they really look nothing like each other. (I’d also swear “Jake” was shorter, but I’ll let that pass.) Was it something in “Jake’s” eyes, or did Sonny wake up psychic? That would be a fun plotline. He could get together with Olivia and they could start a business.

Nina is like, no way am I moving in with Kiki, but Franco wants to do the right thing, with a side benefit of bugging Ava. I love these two together because they’re more fun than corny. Roger Howarth is aging well and looking handsome. He doesn’t seem to be the type who’d get Botox or something, so good. Kiki shows up at (I guess) The Floating Rib where Julian and Ava are. Ava wants to make peace, but Kiki just wants to drink. I hear you, Kiki. How many earrings is Kiki wearing? It looks like 4 or 5. Kiki throws back the rest of her drink and storms off.

How is it that “Jake” is so damn smart, but can’t figure out even one clue as to who he really is?

Back at the ranch Silas’s apartment, Kiki is back and Nina says they’re all going to be one big happy family there, making Kiki, the audience, and probably Franco, wondering when her change of mind happened.

Nicholas tells Laura he “has feelings for” Hayden. I hate that phrase. It makes me cringe inside. Laura wonders how well it’s going to go, since he tried to have Hayden killed a few months ago. Nicholas says that a guy has the right to change his mind. Not really, but that sounded good.

Geez, Sonny isn’t awake 10 seconds before Carly is pushing for another marriage ceremony. Patrick has told him it’s too early to tell if he’ll be able to walk again, and he doesn’t want to marry her until he finds out. Way to stall.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Major flashback episode from when Alex and Brad moved into the neighborhood. Marcie and Randall welcome them and the couples get together for an evening of drinking.  They do some dancing in Alex and Brad’s living room. I always find this kind of thing a little weird, since nobody does this IRL unless it’s a party. Afterwards, after Marcie & Randall leave, Alex wants to get all lovey dovey, and ditto the other two at their house. They keep showing us the clock and I’m not sure why. Uh-oh, something went wrong at Alex and Brad’s. They’ve finished before they started and she does not look happy. OMG – Alex is looking out the window and sees the other couple. Quick like a bunny, Randall closes the curtains, but not before he sees Alex catching a glimpse. This is another thing I don’t think people do in real life, unless they’re voyeurs. Speaking for myself, I can’t think of one neighbor I’ve ever had that I’d want to catch in flagrante. Nope. Not one. And I’ve had quite a few neighbors.

Randall sees Alex outside the next morning and says, sorry, they’re used to the house being empty. I can actually relate to this. I once lived on the top floor of an apartment building in Queens. When they decided to go co-op, as renters left, they stopped renting out apartments. For over a year, it was just me and a single gay man on my floor, and I got used to doing things like taking the garbage out in my underwear. I had to be really careful to check myself when new people finally started moving in.

We jump to a few years later. Both Marcie and Brad are at work and Randall goes over to see Alex. He says he’s been hugging her a little too long at the end of the night when they double-date, adding that it seems to be reciprocal. I’m actually feeling a little sick to my stomach, since I know what the outcome is going to be. Randall says he’s seen her peeping at them when they’re going at it. Hmm…why are they still leaving the curtains open? When people moved into my apartment building, I stopped taking out the garbage half-naked. Alex wisely tells him to get lost. Obviously, we know this doesn’t last. Then he goes to kiss her good-by. Alex rebuffs him, but he’s still going on about their chemistry. One of the reasons I’ve never liked Randall is that he can’t take a hint.

For whatever reason, Randall is helping Alex paint a room. They’re getting a little too close while opening a stuck window, and her parents show up! They’re from Deliverance, which is a surprise to me. Her father isn’t happy that Brad isn’t American, and then Randall, who is African American, comes bounding down the stairs without his shirt on. OMG, he calls Randall “a darkie.” So her father is a racist from the backwoods and her mother is a doormat. They leave and good riddance. Alex goes to find Randall and I see where this is headed. They had lots of sex in the shed and that’s where Alex finds him.

Alex is mortified. They hug and, Oh my Tyler Perry!

Alex is dreaming all this and wakes up saying Randall’s name. And Brad is sitting there. Brad says he’s going to make her life hell from now on. I swear, Tyler Perry produces the best soaps ever. The episode endings are nothing short of soapticiously fabulous.

The People’s Couch

I am so glad this show is back. And for an hour this time. I honestly think it’s one of the funniest things on TV. Maybe ever. The simple, and cheap for Bravo, premise is several groups of people watching TV in their respective homes, everything from Empire (a show I would love to indulge in, but I can’t watch everything) to The Real Housewive,  and making comments to each other while they watch. That’s pretty much what I do here. Which is why I need to be on this show, even if I talk to myself.

There are a pair of sisters who are also roommates; three gay guys who are best friends; a pair of sisters who aren’t roommates; a couple and their two teenage sons; female best friends and writing partners, one is gay and one is straight (my personal favorites – and they have 3 little dogs); a dad and his three adult daughters; three older retired ladies; and another couple and their teenage son.

Each group is very funny, and are people you’d love to hang out with. I literally laugh out loud every other minute.

Oooh, we get a sneak peek Teresa’s phone call home from The Real Housewives of New Jersey.

Below Deck

Back at the schoolyard…I mean, yacht, Rocky has given Emile a note saying she just wants to be friends. Because they are both huge babies. I would hate to work with these two.

The primary guests are a brother and sister (Tracy and Mark) and their spouses. There’s another girl who I assume is someone’s daughter. Right away, in her individual interview, Connie says something snarky about the girl’s appearance. I don’t like that. Yeah, I know I do it sometimes, but I’m not getting a ten thousand dollar tip. If you’re giving me ten grand, I won’t knock your sweater.

The weather is pretty breezy and a storm is coming. A lobster fishing expedition is cut short and they head back to shore. Chef Leon is a real drag, but the gusts are happy with his dishes. The centerpiece is gorgeous too. I’m sure that’s the fun part of the job for the stews, getting to do the creative stuff. New deckhand, Dane, is on anchor watch. It’s been stressed a few times that falling asleep is a huge no-no, which makes me wonder if that’s what’s going to happen, but it doesn’t.

The next day is nicer, so the jet skis are put in the water. Immediately, the first guest out runs over a line and sucks it into the propeller, thus taking more precious time away from outdoor activities. Squalls are coming through. Dane is supposed to get the line un-entangled and is just making more of a mess. Captain Lee is losing patience with this guy quickly. At first, he seemed like a hard worker, but he’s acting more and more like Spicoli from Fast Times At Ridgemont High.

Mark has brought his own wine and wants a tasting menu to go with it. Chef Leon has ordered food from the mainland – groceries, not McDonald’s – and more time is wasted going to pick up his order. The meat is frozen solid. I guess Leon should have been more specific or planned better. Because Kate didn’t have the menu info, everything else got hung up. I understand her frustration with this. I hate when I have to wait for someone to finish their part before I can do my part and they lollygag. Even worse, as Kate has explained earlier, it’s the domino effect – if one person flounders, it goes on down the line and affects everyone.

Captain Lee is dining with the guests. He’s not impressed with Leon’s food, but hopefully, the guests are. Mark seems to have a pretty sophisticated palette. Amy and Kate are super pissed off about Leon taking his sweet time with the whole thing and not caring about them or the guests. Chef Leon makes an appearance and the guests seem happy with his work. Apparently, he should be wearing a jacket to do this and says he doesn’t give a flying. Kate finally calls him out for being the jerk that he is. He says he’ll try to let her know sooner next time, but not to hold her breath. Then he just goes on and on and on about how he doesn’t like Kate and making veiled threats. This guy is the worst. I wouldn’t want to work with him either. Rocky thinks it’s all very funny and I want to slap her.

16 large this week! And because the yacht owners have gotten good feedback about the crew, they’ve been given a freebie night at a resort. Captain Lee gives Dane a mini lecture on responsibility, but he knows it’s going in one ear and out the other. Good job whoever used the words “tax free” in regard to the tip. Shut up.

Dane gets seriously hammered while on the boat on their night off. Ugh! He’s a messy drunk too. I hate that.

Next week looks pretty good. Dane makes more of an idiot of himself and the guests aren’t happy with Chef Leon. And Eddie and Rocky hook up? I’m hoping that one is a dream.

Sep30

September 29, 2015 — GH, Some Soap, Renewing Vows & Sorority Sisters

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

No matter how many years these people live, they’re never going to understand that when doctors are working on an emergency, you really shouldn’t get in their way.

Poor Carrrlos. He lives on in scapegoat spirit anyway. Ha-ha! Anna is walking around like a zombie, because she knows the truth, and Sloane just used her pic on his phone as a coaster. Nicholas continues to amaze me in that I kind of like him now, after years of thinking of him as wallpaper. Hayden has brought a lot out in him, like sleaziness and cunning, but also his fun side. I really hope they stay together and wreak havoc on Port Charles.

Paul makes a “Hmmm…” face when Michael tells him that Ava said Carrrlos was the shooter. I don’t know if it’s “Hmmm…why didn’t I think of that?” or “Hmmm…I’m going to kill her for not doing what I said.” And why did Paul act surprised when the charges against Julian for conspiracy were brought up? As DA and the new crime boss, he should be up-to-date on that, especially since he wants to blame Julian for everything.

I start getting anxious whenever I see the words, “breaking news” now.

Is Ava going to change her clothes today? When was the last time she had a shower? Julian isn’t buying that Ava is replacing him at the mob table out of the goodness of her heart.  Now Sloane is drunkenly harassing Hayden and Nicholas while they’re eating dinner at The Floating Rib. He’s looking a little better now that they fixed his hair.

Back at the Asian restaurant (Noodle Buddha?), “Jake” and Sam have renewed their vows. Sam says she’s ready to leave Jason behind. Oh boy, does she have a surprise coming. Although I wouldn’t want to hang as long as it’s taking to come.  Sam does a whole riff on the figurines and decides to leave them at the restaurant.

The blood clot traveled to Sonny’s brain. Maurice Benard’s contract is up and he hasn’t signed a new one yet, so we’ll see how the next surgery goes.

Paul is going blah-blah-blah at Anna when Sloane calls and insists on speaking with him. Looks like he’s going to spill Anna’s beans about Carrrlos. I was almost liking him, but unless he’s going to say he did it, that’s pretty low. Nope, he’s not. Now Paul is staring at Anna with laser beam eyes. I’ll bet he’s not going to have her arrested though. He’s probably going to use this info to his advantage. And didn’t Sloane’s name/number pop up on the precinct’s caller ID? Although it does look like they have a phone from the 70s. Times is tough everywhere.

Ava tells Julian she’s always dreamed about running the organization, which is news to me and probably everyone else. “Every little girl’s dream,” Julian says. Hey, it beats pushing a baby carriage. Julian says he should probably find a new place to live. He should have found a new place ages ago. Aren’t these two in their 40s? Why are they living together anyway?

Paul meets with Sloan who gives him a key to the safe deposit box where Carrrlos’s ID and wallet are, along with the gun that shot him. I could have sworn they just pushed him into the river, but okay. Paul then shoots Sloane. That was quick. I don’t know what a great mob boss he’s going to make. He probably should have verified that first. What if the only thing in the box is Sloane’s dirty underwear?

As Sonny is prepped for surgery, the burning question in all of our minds is, how much of a raise did he ask for?

If Loving You Is Wrong

If you love old school soap opera, this one’s for you. While The Haves & The Have Nots is more reminiscent of Dallas or Dynasty, If Loving You Is Wrong is more the Ryan’s Hope of the Tyler Perry dramas. The opening credits hearken back to the soaps of the 70s, with romantic shots of the main characters. They all live on the same street, which makes it easy for them to get into each other’s business. The street set is wonderful. The houses look almost cartoonish, all painted in bright colors with gingerbread trim. It also reminds me of the old lonely hearts comic books that I used to sneak into the house when I was a kid.

The new season just started, so it’s easy to catch up. It’s not like this is rocket science.

Alex is married to Brad, but had an affair with Randal. Randal is married to Marcie. There was a big whoop-de-do when the affair was revealed by Marcie at Brad’s surprise birthday party. It was a surprise all right. At the end of last season Brad was furious, Alex just had a baby, Marcie became a drunk and Randal was still trying to get into Alex’s pants. Not in the delivery room, but I wouldn’t have been surprised. I’m not sure what she sees in him, since he’s annoying and a bit intimidating, but he does have a rockin’ bod. In today’s episode, we finally saw the baby, and yep, it’s Randal’s. I forgot to mention that Randal is African American; Alex and Brad are both Caucasian.

Kelly lives next door to Alex and Brad. She’s a single mother, but bought the house in anticipation of getting married to Travis. He was on some mission in a foreign country, but when he came back, he was engaged to someone else. He says he still loves Kelly and wants to be with her, so obviously there’s a piece missing to this puzzle. His mother appears to wield some power over him as well. He also seems a little off, but I don’t know if there’s something to that or it’s just me. Kelly is playing with him, trying to hurt him, but I think she really still loves him.

Edward is a dirty cop who used to be with Esperanza, but he’s also a bully and needs to know what she’s doing every waking moment, which is why they broke up. They can’t seem to leave each other alone though.

Lushion is a good cop who was partners with Edward. Edward had also been in Afghanastan, and Lushion suggested PTSD is Edward’s problem, but Edward shrugged it off, acted like an a-hole, and is now being investigated by the department. Lushion is also in love with Natalie, and the two of them are the voices of reason on the show. Joey is Natalie’s son, who works at a burger place (Natalie is the manager), but has dabbled with gangs who are now after him. The burger place was totally shot up last season.

That should bring you up to speed.

My Fab 40th

The party planner is making 15 grand? I missed my calling. This show is all about rich people’s problems. I guess a lot of them are, but it would be nice to see some people who can’t afford to drop 100k on a birthday party. Where’s the Loud family when you need them?

The couple in this episode (it’s her birthday) are New Yorkers, but if I didn’t know that, I’d swear they were from Los Angeles. They don’t act like any New Yorkers I know. Maybe they got gentrified along with the neighborhood they live in. This party is basically a re-do of their wedding because the original happened when they weren’t so flush. Both of them are lawyers, but threw their degrees in the air to start an urban celebrity gossip website. Obviously it did well.

Al Sharpton officiates at the vow renewal ceremony. Every time I see him, I worry about his health. He really looks like he lost too much weight and now his head is too huge for his body.

Below Deck

Eww! Emile “has feelings for” Rocky. Because he’s 12. Eddie wonders what’s wrong with Emile. For one thing, he can’t hold his liquor. (It’s the crew’s night off.)

Eddie’s having problems with his long distance relationship, and his girlfriend keeps contacting her ex. Connie and Rocky get weird with some whipped cream and leave a mess. Eddie leaves a note that the yacht isn’t a frat house. Oddly enough, the next charter’s two primary guests, Bryn and Stacy, are sorority sisters. It’s some kind of reunion.

The guests decide on finger food for lunch, and like Kate says, “We all know how Leon likes change.” Leon has already made a load of hot food, and despite Kate’s really good suggestions on how to turn it into hors d’oeuvres, he starts grumbling and won’t shut up.

The deck hands are making stupid mistakes, and Captain Lee says he has a low tolerance for stupid. Me too. He calls them all to the wheelhouse and pretty much tells them to shape up or ship out.

Chef Leon is “taking a breather” (where? he’s on a boat), and Rocky is going to cook dinner for the crew. This might turn out to be one of those too many cooks situations. The kitchen isn’t that big. Ha-ha! Kate says gazpacho is another word for laziness. Maybe I should try making some, since I’m admittedly a lazy cook. Holy! Rocky just served the crew raw chicken. She must have taken cooking lessons from my maternal grandmother.

The guests want mini cheeseburger sliders and cream cheese brownies for late night snacking. No surprise, this pisses Leon off. Because he has to cook. I have finally found someone lazier than I am in the kitchen. When I’m being paid, I can be quite industrious. Man, I’m even more creative than this guy.

My second eww! of the show – primary guest Stacy is washing down a brownie with a beer. No. Just no.

My second no surprise too. She’s severely hungover the next morning.

It’s time to dock. This is probably the most difficult thing to accomplish, worse than parallel parking in NYC. The crew manages to do it without anyone getting fired. Even though Stacy is still nursing her hangover, she manages to give the captain the tip. BTW, the tip is always split evenly, which seems kind of unfair, but it is what it is. Twelve large this week.

Emile continues to embarrass himself with Rocky. Because he’s 12. Rocky passes him a note. Because she’s 14.

Wow. It looks like it’s going to be a real sh*tstorm next week.

Sep23

September 22, 2015 — GH, Queens, Tyler Perry & Tequila

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

You’d think after all she’s been though, on top of being a Cassadine, Alexis could control her freak out when hearing a gunshot better. Too bad it was Julian who got shot instead of Morgan, although both of them could disappear and I’d be okay with that. Julian is down, but not out yet.

I need some kind of chart or graph to keep what kids are whose straight. Hey, you watch the same show for literally 50 years and let’s see how well you do.

Is Sonny hallucinating or does he know something about Jake being Jason? That would be a real twist, giving Sonny the reveal. Oh, why not? I’d actually hoped for Laura to return and get that job, but since it doesn’t look like it’s going to happen, they can draw straws at this point for all I care. Just, please, let’s get to it already.

Commercial break. Oh crap. Once Upon a Time is premiering this weekend. While right now it won’t throw a wrench into Sundays, it will eventually. There always seems to be one day in the week where I have to stay up half the night to catch everything. I still have the finale from last season’s Once in the black hole that is my DVR. Pope Francis is also headed this way, which should make for some stellar traffic jams in the city.

Ha-ha! Elizabeth looks like she’s about to pass out. Good. And seriously, “Jake” doesn’t seem like an idiot. Has it never once crossed his mind that he might be Jason? Or even anyone else from Port Charles?

What the blip is Michael doing, showing up there with no weapon? Even wounded, Julian could probably get away, since Michael and Morgan are so busy blabbing. Michael thinks logic is going to work here. Really? He tells Morgan that Sonny sent him to stop Morgan throwing his life away. We’ll see if Morgan buys it.

Ric (whose name I’ve been spelling wrong) is trying to talk his way back into the good graces of the PC court system. (That would be Port Charles. These days, I realize that might need clarification.) While I don’t like his character all that much, I love the acting skills of Rick Lansing. (Rick playing Ric!) He does a great annoyed and flustered. Paul has replaced Ric as District Attorney. That was quick! My favorite soap character job switch was when Bo from One Life to Live went from being a radio DJ to being Police Commissioner overnight. At least Paul was a lawyer already.

Dillon…Maxie…Dillon’s movie… These are the kinds of storylines I used to fast forward through in the old days, when we taped things on the VCR.

This is pretty good, with Carly playing along with Sonny that “Jake” is Jason. I’m rooting for Elizabeth to have a heart attack. At least she’s already at the hospital.

Holy! Michael’s blathering worked! I want Alexis to stop making those cartoonish soap faces though. Her hair always reminds me of Cruella de Vil as it is. Even though Morgan has packed up his pistol, Michael tells Julian it’s not over because he agrees that Julian had Sonny shot. Boy, would he be surprised to know the truth.

Paul should have been a salesman. I’m ready to throw in with him. “Jake” wants to help out in stopping Morgan (a day late and a dollar short), and Elizabeth is trying to boss him around. Go away already.

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FREAKIN’ KIDDING ME. They just broke in to the last 2 minutes of the show to report on the Pope’s plane landing in Washington DC. I mean we’re looking at the plane sitting there and that’s it. He’s probably still sitting in his seat, iPad in hand, not believing that they just cut in to the end of General Hospital. This is almost, but not quite, as bad as when they broke in the day we were finally seeing what happened in Luke’s past. ABC had to make all kinds of apologies that time. Did they learn nothing?

Scream Queens

I’m taking a chance on DVR’ing this, but it’s the finale of The Haves & the Have Nots, so I’m only watching the first hour.

It revolves around a sorority, Kappa something (KKT), and a stalker/killer in a devil outfit. One that looks hot and uncomfortable. Jamie Lee Curtis (always worth watching) is Dean Munch, which leads to jokes that I’m sure shouldn’t be aired before 10 pm. Jamie Lee reminds me of Dean Wormer in Animal House. She hates sororities. Somebody has to put their foot down, and that foot is her. She makes some rule that the sorority has to open its membership to everyone, and brings in a bunch of “misfits,” again reminding me of Animal House.

I’d kill for main (evil) character Chanel #1’s closet. The main (good) character, Liz, wants to join KKT because it’s her dead mother’s legacy. Her dad tells her sororities are like Game of Thrones. Since I had the brilliant idea to go to acting school instead of college, I have no clue about them, but my sister and her peers decided to rebel by ignoring pledge week and sororities. This was in the hippie days when being a non-conformist meant something.

Commercial break. The 5th Wave looks like an incredible movie, but if it’s not even rated yet, this means I could be watching this commercial for the next year. I like Good Day New York, but there’s really nothing they can do to make my mornings “fun.” Just give me coffee.

At the end of the first hour, Chanel #1 has killed Miss Bean, the house maid whom she calls “White Mammy.” The first of Chanel’s “minons” (all named “Chanel” and called by number) is killed by the devil stalker. The dialogue is done by texts between the murderer and the victim, culminating with the victim calling for help via Facebook, rather than calling 911. I’m not sure if this is a comment on the stupidity of people today or their dependence on social media or something else.

This looks like a fun show, although a little risqué to be on at 8. I’m not a prude by any stretch of the imagination, but I am appropriate. And nobody wants to answer kids’ questions before their time.

Tyler Perry’s Temptation Tuesday

This is comprised of his nighttime dramas, The Haves & the Have Nots, and If Loving You is Wrong. Both shows are over-the-top old school style of soap. The main difference being that the latter is totally focused on middle-class families. Most of the characters are doing all right, but there are no real “haves.”

Obviously, I’m not alone in feeling that Tyler Perry has fulfilled a need left by the departure of shows such as Dallas and Dynasty, and given them a fresh spin. They might not be up for any Emmys, but people are tuning in and enjoying these updates on the classics.

Tonight was unusual in that both shows were on back to back. While The Haves & the Have Nots was having its finale, If Loving You is Wrong was starting its new season. Even the beginning credits are reminiscent of the daytime soaps in the 80s and I love it!  It starts the way it ended last season, with a scene that was the height of pure soapiness.

Alex has just had her baby. It’s hanging in the balance whether the father is her Caucasian husband, Brad, or her married African American neighbor, Randall, with whom she was having an affair. (This was all exposed prior to her going into labor.) All of her girlfriends are at the window where you stare at the newborns. They gasp and stare in silence. One of them says the baby is black. Another says, “How are we going to tell Brad”?

“Tell me what?” Brad says, having just walked in behind them.

DUN-DUN-DUNNN!

Below Deck

Leon turns out to be kind of a lazy cook, which I can totally identify with, but I don’t work on a yacht.

It’s not starting off well. Some kind of tequila, that most of the guests have put on their preference sheets, isn’t in stock. Kate explains that a lot of the time, guests list things they never ask for and when something is particularly hard to get, it’s not a priority. She realizes now that it is a priority.

On top of it, the weather is not cooperating, so the guests’ requested water activities won’t be happening. I think I would be just fine, lazing around the yacht, top-of-the-line alcohol, food and service at my beck and call, but apparently some people get bored with that. This makes me take note that I’ve never once seen anyone reading while on these charters. I’ve always taken reading material on vacation.

Does it bother anyone else when, while watching an episode of a show, they air a commercial for next week’s episode of the same show? And add that it’s an “all new episode” when it’s only the third one of the season?

A new deckhand is coming to replace dickweed Don. (Ha-ha! Spell check tried to change that to duckweed. Fie on you, spell check, and I trump your correction.) Rocky is still insane, crying one minute and making up Broadway tunes about laundry the next. I don’t think this girl belongs at this job. Or maybe any job. Hope she can find a rich guy to marry. New guy Dane is too young, surfer dude looking for me, but the girls all think he’s hot.

Kate says it’s not a good sign when the guests go to bed early and would rather sleep than hang out on the boat. A couple of the lady guests try to entice Dane and Emile into the hot tub. Emile plays by the rules of no fraternization, but Dane almost gets in the tub and needs a mini-lecture on how to draw the line between having fun with the guests and having too much fun with the guests.

The weather still sucks, and Kate creates a party for the guests where they play a slightly rude, seafaring version of Twister. Lo and behold, here comes a boat bearing the liquor the guests could so desperately not live without. (The bottle cost $350, but there’s no mention of what the delivery must have cost.) I think these guests are bored because they’re boring. All is well once the booze gets on board. I hate tequila, so I’m failing to see how this was a make or break factor on the charter. I can’t wait to see what the tip is.

Whoa — 25 large! Having to entertain bored, boring people is totally worth it. Captain Lee gives Eddie some advice while they lounge in the hot tub. Eddie needs to get it together with his girlfriend because his mind isn’t totally on his work. The main thing I hear is that Captain Lee is married. Yep. All the good ones are married or gay.

Aug27

August 26, 2015 — GH, LA & Too Many Cooks Spoiling the Pasta

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

The Haves & the Have Nots

For some reason, I thought yesterday was Monday and forgot to watch it. Once again, those reruns came in handy.

I love me some Tyler Perry drama! I’ve always been a fan of him as a person, but sitcoms and Medea just aren’t my thing. When he created this show, I could tell by the previews it was up my alley. If you like the old nighttime dramas like Dallas and Dynasty, and you’re not watching this (and its counterpart, If Loving You is Wrong) you’re missing out. It’s basically about a rich guy named Jim Cryer (John Schneider, a long way from Dukes of Hazzard) who is running for governor, and trying to run away from his problems. The show hit the ground running, with married Jim being blackmailed by escort Candace, who is also the daughter of one of his maids, Hanna, and friends with his own daughter. Hilarity intense drama ensues.

My favorite character is Veronica, the wife of Jim’s business partner, David, who’s also involved in Jim’s campaign. And she ain’t like Archie’s Veronica. She’s probably about the most evil character in a soap ever. And Angela Robinson plays the hell out of the part. Veronica is under the misconceived impression that she can force her gay son to be straight, but since ruining his life isn’t enough, she ends up burning down the house with David in it. I told you this was a fun show!

This week, while Jim is being interviewed live on television, he’s hit with the bombshell that one of the other maids, Celine, has had two sons by him. DUN-DUN-DUUUN!!!

General Hospital

Oooh, first commercial is for Oreo Thins. I seriously want to try those.

Morgan needs to confess to something soon before he gives himself a heart attack. Besides, going to jail isn’t too bad in Port Charles. Pretty soon, the guards will be taking McDonald’s orders from the prisoners. And here comes Sonny – known mob boss – allowed to visit whoever he pleases, unattended. While I’ve never been in jail, I don’t think it works that way. I am so glad that it’s finally dawning on Nina that she only hears that baby crying when Rick the weasel or Madelyn are around. That’s been bugging me for a while. Where’s that cry coming from? Oh, your phone. Case closed.

I understand that it’s just a show, but they could try just a little bit to make it believable. I can’t wait for them to drag Rick and Madelyn off to the country club jail.

I’m not sure what Kiki (or Ava) see in that cranky Morgan anyway, especially since he got that haircut. That’s when I remember who Kiki is. Why they had to make her so blond after Kristen Alderson left is beyond me. Like that whole character switcheroo thing wasn’t difficult enough. I’d just finally stopped thinking Kiki was Starr. I did love her final scene with Roger Howarth though. She pretty much grew up with him as her second father, so it must have been heart-wrenching for both of them. It was sweet how the dialogue wasn’t just about Franco and Kiki, but about the real actors.

Nathan, I don’t think Dante is the best guy to be helping you solve anything. His decision making skills have been pretty poor lately.

Oh, that’s a good one Sonny. You always put your children first? When did that happen?

MasterChef

Let me confess now. I hate to cook, but I love watching cooking shows. It’s not that I’m a bad cook – ask anyone who’s had my lasagna – and it’s not that I can’t be creative in the kitchen – ditto – but I’m an impatient cook (when I want to eat, I want to eat now, not 2 hours from now) who’s always had a kitchen the size of a postage stamp. Other than a one semester home ec class in 8th grade, I’m fairly uneducated in this department as well. When Gordon Ramsey says, “You tell me,” I have no clue. As we always say, my husband didn’t marry me for my cooking in the kitchen. For some reason though, I like to watch other people cook. And of course there’s the food porn aspect.

I’m not sure what’s up with risotto, but it seems to be very telling as far as cooking goes. I can’t count the times I’ve heard Gordon go insane about it.

I stink with names, so I’m glad the contestants have theirs on their aprons. I wish Survivor would do the same. As a matter-of-fact, I wish everyone would go around wearing name tags. It would make life far less embarrassing for me.

If tuna tartar is involved, I’m in. I never said my palate was uneducated.

It’s a blue team (Derrick)/red team (Stephen) thing tonight. The red team wins, so Derrick, Katrina and Hetel have to face tonight’s pressure test – 3 pasta dishes in one hour. “Impossible,” says Nick. The dishes are manicotti, scallops and clams with pasta, and egg yolk ravioli, which I’ve never heard of, but sounds really good.

OMG – one of the clams just moved! I’ve cooked them several times, but thank God they’ve stayed still. I admit to being squeamish about certain food items. One time, I bought what I thought was a nice square of frozen fish. The instructions said to soak it in water before cooking. When I did, the tail that had been heretofore stuck hidden to the underside, unfurled. I had to throw it out.

Katrina is “sweating biscuits?” Did I hear that right? At least she lost the hair bow this week. Today she has some sparkly thing on her head.

Why is the guy on the Bud Lite commercial trying to channel Will Ferrell? Was Will not available?

I love how Graham Elliot holds the scallop up like it’s a diamond.  Ooh, Gordon just said Derrick’s garnish was like eating an air freshener. Not exactly a compliment. Katrina put ricotta in the ravioli and apparently this is a really bad thing. Hetel’s ravioli looks good to me, and ground pepper always gets my vote, but Gordon said it was “heresy.” No one is looking good here. Hetel’s out. She kind of flew under the radar anyway. Being a vegetarian, it was rough for her. I don’t know how you can cook something without tasting it at some point either. Although it’s to her credit that she’s gotten this far.

Geez, could they spare the vegetables in the spring onion rice noodle soup bowl I’m having for dinner?

Little Women LA

Brittney has a new boyfriend and Tonya’s talking about moving in with her boyfriend, John, and is also wearing some amazing earrings. Too bad John doesn’t exactly feel the same way. He’s obviously not the husband material you want, Tonya. Move on. Ha-ha! Terra is talking about how nice it would be if everyone got along. This is reality TV, so not bloody likely. Lots of goings on in the romance department tonight. Briana’s boyfriend, Matt, is moving in with her. This dude has been a bone of contention since he came on the scene – with both her family and her friends. My jury is out about him. I’m hearing the same stories they are, but so far he’s been on good behavior.

Ugh! What a shame that Christy allowed her mother to influence her decision about the IVF. I’m not saying she should or shouldn’t do it, but it’s obvious that mean old woman was huge factor here. The ending is happy though. Christy and Todd make the decision to go for artificial insemination while picking strawberries next to a field of sunflowers. Nice!

Beach party! Elena is so gorgeous, I can never take my eyes off of her when she’s on screen. She’s also insecure about her appearance, so what hope is there for the rest of us? The last time they had a bonfire on the beach, the outcome was not positive. Already there’s tension between Elena and Brittney, and Tonya and Jasmine, and Matt and everyone. Same sh*t, different day. Time to roast marshmallows.

“Short arms, short sticks, someone’s weave is definitely going up in flames tonight. I’m glad I’m no longer packing.” Terra cracks me up!

Brittney’s sparkly purple eye shadow is really distracting!

Ha! For a moment there, I thought we were ending on a good note. Brittney confessed to being an idiot and Elena was okay with it. But Jasmine brings up the “other elephant in the room,” Tonya. Wait, that didn’t sound right. She wants to know what the blip Tonya’s annoyed about (and so do I), but instead it ends up being a rehash of the last argument about the same vague thing. That didn’t even make sense to me and I wrote it.

Terra’s Little Family

Someone please explain why, instead of an hour long episode, Lifetime decided to show two back-to-back half hour episodes? Anybody? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

I would laugh uncontrollably at Terra’s hair the morning after her bachelorette party, but I’m sure mine looks no better the morning after the night before.  Terra is going to check out the bridesmaids’ dresses for the first time, their only instructions having been to get beige dresses and cobalt blue shoes, which looks better than it sounds. Not an easy task to critique their choices with a hangover though. Elena says it will be like “50 shades of beige.”

Joe had to jet the day before for a gig (he’s a drummer) and missed the rehearsal, but swore he’d be back in time for the pre-wedding dinner. No surprise his plane is late. If this was Bravo, I’d say Andy Cohen probably threw his body in front of the plane.  Her mom still hasn’t gotten there either.

Whew! They both make it and the yacht sets sail for the dinner. Interesting note: Terra’s mom is one of those crazy cat ladies that you always hear about. She’s like an old hippie and really cool. Unlike Christy’s mom.

The earrings on this show are just fabulous!

Terra says Joe is like her missing puzzle piece. So much better than “you complete me” or “my soulmate.” These two are just precious!  We’re on shaky ground by the end of the episode, with Terra being a bit of a Bridezilla to Joe, but I have no doubt they’ll make up since they’re both at the wedding in the previews.