What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Nikolas says, Esme is pregnant? and she says, surprise! He’s going to be a daddy again. He says, no, this isn’t happening. She bought one of those fake baby bumps or something. She says, sorry to disappoint. Feel it. She takes his hand, and puts it on her bare midriff. She says, this isn’t some trick. It’s her get-out-of-jail-free card.

Johann knocks at Victor’s old room, and a staff member opens the door. Johann asks, what’s going on? and the man says, they had to move Mr. Cassadine to another room. Johann says, where?

The phone rings, and Victor tells Lucy, if this is about another change of suite, he will… What is it? Eileen says, he’s got a problem, but he tells her, this is not a good time. He has company. Lucy says, no, take it. She knows how important he is. Of course (🍷) he needs to take it. She’ll go freshen up; she must be a mess. He says, that is not possible, and she says, that’s very sweet, but don’t be rude. She takes her bag, and heads for the bathroom. Victor tell Eileen, be quick about it. What’s the problem? Lucy goes to the bedroom instead, and listens at the wall. In the park, Anna and Valentin continue to listen, and wonder if Lucy can get Victor to tell her more.

Josslyn and Cameron kiss, and she says, life’s been so crazy. It’s nice to get some alone time. A bell dings, and we see they’re at Kelly’s. He says, it’s just you, me, and the BLTs, and she says, BLT making; he’d better get on that. He goes to the cooker, and says he’s sorry he couldn’t make Brando’s reception. She says, that’s okay. She didn’t make it either. He asks what she was doing instead.

Michael walks into Dex’s apartment, and says, Dex lied to protect Sonny. Dex closes the door, and says, he told Detective Falconari that Sonny didn’t abduct or injure him. Michael says, well done. They have Sonny right where they want him. Dante’s convinced Dex lied to protect Sonny. Dex says, that was the plan, right? What was the big entrance all about? Michael says, in case Dex’s neighbors are listening or watching, he wanted to pretend he was having it out with Dex. In reality though, he’s here to commend Dex. Because of his performance, Sonny thinks Dex is still loyal to him, even though he falsely accused Dex. Dex says he tried his best to sell it, and Michael says, it must have been tough. Dex says, it was.

Sonny strides into Pozzulo’s, and Frank asks if he can get Sonny anything. Sonny says, no thanks. He’s going to be in his office, and doesn’t want to be disturbed. Ava runs in before Frank can close the door, and tells Sonny, they need to talk. He says, not now, but she says, yes, now. Before Trina ends up dead.

Jacksonville, Florida. Carly and Drew see a sign on a door that says, Guild Meeting 4:00 PM. Some people are milling around inside, and Drew says, looks like this is the place. She says, her last chance to change minds, and save the cemetery where her mother is buried. He asks if she’s ready, and she says, the better question? Are they ready for me?

Michael says he wants to make something clear. If Dex is having second thoughts, not only does he get it, he encourages Dex to walk away. Sonny will never find out from him that Dex was working against him. Dex says he’s all in. He’d been working as a mercenary; he’s used to risk. It feels good to be doing the right thing for once. Michael says, okay, and Dex says, to be honest, he’s more worried about Michael’s role in all this. He knows it’s important for Michael to bring down Sonny, but is it worth the risk to his relationship with his siblings?

Josslyn tells Cameron, it was really no big deal. She went to check on someone, and it was a waste of time. He says he misses her, and she says, even though they text 3000 times a day? He says, it’s not the same as being with her, and she says she misses him so much too. And the fact their classes didn’t line up isn’t helping. He asks if that’s the reason he can’t remember the last time they were alone together, and she says, what would be the other reason? He says, forget it; it’s too stupid, but she says, no. Talk to her. He says, they haven’t had sex since that first time at the cabin. She asks if that’s a problem, and he says, kind of.

Drew asks if they should make their introductions, and Carly says, let’s do it. They move toward the other people, when Peyton comes in, and says, Caroline. Carly says, there’s only one person in the world she allowed to call her that, and Peyton’s not him. Peyton says, she should have known Carly wouldn’t have the good sense to stay away. It’s too late. Carly says, why? Because of that hatchet job of a story Peyton let the paper run. Peyton says she simply told the truth, and Drew says, in the most misleading way possible. How low do you have to be to bring up a car crash from high school, one that was clearly not Carly’s fault? Peyton asks, who’s Carly’s guard dog? and Carly says, he’s her friend. Peyton says, well, friend, she just wanted the Guild to know who they’re dealing with, and Carly says, they have no idea. Chairman Benoit tells everyone to take their seats. This meeting will come to order. Drew tells Carly, here we go.  

Sonny asks if Trina has been threatened, and Ava says, not outright. There’s been another attack. On the docks this time. Oz Haggerty is dead. He says, that sounds familiar, and she says, he’s the bartender whose testimony set Trina free. He says, so Ava, Diane, and Haggerty helped Trina out in some sort of way, and she says, a little suspicious. He asks where Brando fits in, and she says she doesn’t know. He’s the only victim who doesn’t have a connection to Trina… Oh God. Brando’s funeral was today, wasn’t it? He says he’s so ready to stop saying goodbye to people, and she says she’s so sorry. She knows he and Brando were quite close. He says, Brando was like a son to him, and he needed that, especially with what’s going on with Michael. She asks if something else happened, and he says he reached out to Michael in an attempt to make peace, and Michael stabbed him in the back.

Lucy listens at the wall, and Victor tells Eileen that he guesses he has to clarify his expectations. He’s paying her for verification and facilitation, not companionship. So unless it’s something of value to tell him, he doesn’t want to hear it. Why is she calling? She says she just walked into DA Scorpio’s office, and saw him conferring with Anna Devane.

Anna tells Valentin, she wishes they could hear the whole conversation. She wonders who he’s talking to. Victor asks if Robert suspects Eileen.

Lucy picks up the phone in the bedroom, and hears Eileen say, Robert doesn’t respect her authority or oversight, and this isn’t the first time they’ve clashed. She doesn’t think he suspects her, but it’s clear Anna and Robert are still investigating Luke Spencer’s death. Victor asks what they know, and she says she’s not sure. She’ll do her best to keep Scorpio from using city resources for his personal agenda, but that’s as far as her reach goes as Deputy Mayor.

Michael tells Dex, his father has to be neutralized. Whether that translates to actual prison time, or being forced to permanently leave the country, he doesn’t know, but something has to give. (Wasn’t Sonny born in Brooklyn? He’s not Joe Giudice.) Michael says, he already told Dex that he’s willing to be the bad guy, and Dex asks if he’s prepared to lose his sisters. Because they’re going to be angry. The younger two, because of what he did to their father… Michael says, and Josslyn because he lied to her, and he should have let her in one this, but he can’t. Like Dex said, this is going to devastate Donna and Avery when this all goes down, and they’re going to need their sister more than ever. Dex says, if they’re mad at Josslyn for keeping the secret, they’ll never accept her support. Michael says he hates all of this. He hates lying to Josslyn, and hurting his little sisters. He even hates what it’s going to do to Dante and Kristina, and they’re full grown adults. Hopefully, they can move past it, but if they can’t… Sonny was willing to torture Dex to get him to confess to something he didn’t do. He has to be stopped, and if it costs Michael his siblings, so be it. Dex says he agrees with and respects everything Michael just said. It won’t be easy to keep all this from Josslyn. For whatever reason, she feels the need to protect him from Michael’s father. Michael says, then Dex needs to show her that he doesn’t deserve her protection.

Josslyn says, Cameron is upset because they haven’t had sex? and he says, no. He wants to, but if she’s not ready yet, he totally understands. He doesn’t mind waiting, but he needs to know. Did he do something wrong? She puts her hands on his shoulders, and says, no. Their first time was everything she hoped it would be; it was better even. But Esme ruined it, and she’s having trouble getting past that. He says he gets it. Being exposed like that doesn’t exactly put you in the mood. There’s no rush. She thanks him for understanding, and wants him to know that she still feels as close to him as ever. They’ve been friends since they were kids. He takes her hands, and says, she knows she’s his favorite person, right? She says. he’s her favorite person too.

Nikolas says, maybe Esme is pregnant, but she says, there’s no maybe about it. He says, it’s not his, and she says, who else’s? Spencer? Fat chance. He was only pretending to love her so he could help Saint Trina. They hadn’t slept together in months. (Well, that answers that question.) He says, someone else’s then, and she says, he’s the only man she’s been with. He remembers, when he seduced her in the sitting room. He says, he seduced her? and she says she hardly forced herself on him, and he was ready, willing, and oh so able. He says he wants a paternity test, and she says she doesn’t have one on her at the moment, but she’s willing to take one, as long as it doesn’t put their baby at risk. He knocks back a drink, and she tells him, take it easy. Their baby deserves better than a drunk for a father. He tells her, stop saying their baby, and considering it has a murderer for a mother, this kid is already doomed. She says she didn’t attack anyone, with a hook or otherwise. What a thing to say about the mother of his child. He says, the police are going to charge her for trying to kill that bartender. Not to mention the sex tape she tried to frame Trina for, that Esme recorded and released. She’s screwed. Even if she’s pregnant, she’s not getting out of prison time. She says, that’s where he’s wrong. She’s not setting foot behind bars. He’s going make sure of it.

There’s a knock at Victor’s door, and he tells Eileen, hold on. It’s Johann, who asks why Victor changed rooms. In the park, Valentin says, he thought Robert was dealing with Johann, and Anna says, something must have gone wrong. Victor tells Johann that something was wrong with the water, and Johann asks where Lucy is. He goes into the bedroom, and sees Lucy putting on makeup. She says, he’s back. Did the flowers make it to Sasha?

Sonny tells Ava, Dante showed up, and he found out that Michael tried to have him arrested. She says, for what? and he says, for kidnapping and threatening to kill Dex. She says, he did that though, right? and he says, but he let Dex go as soon as he found out Diane said the attacker was a woman. She says, so it’s over, but his own son still went to the cops. She can’t help notice Sonny’s not under arrest right now, and he says, Dex denied it, and said Michael was lying. She says she told him Dex was a keeper, and he says he’s grateful Dex had his back in spite of what he did, but he can’t help think that he doesn’t want everybody to think Michael is a liar. He made his bed and lost his son, but if he could just figure out a way make right. Ava says, there’s nothing he can do. So stop trying.  

Michael comes into Kelly’s, and says, fancy meeting Josslyn here. She says, her boyfriend works here. What’s his excuse? Michael says, pregnant girlfriend. She’s craving some sweet potato pie. Cameron says, they have some in the back; he’ll go grab it. Michael thanks him, and Cameron leaves. Josslyn tells Michael, she went to see Dex, and he asks if she can please just stay away from that guy. She says, he’s walking around like what happened is no big deal. The man is covered in bruises, especially on his wrists; he can barely move his hands. Michael says, let it go; he’s begging her, please. She says, Sonny just can’t kidnap and terrorize people when he feels like it, and Michael says, he agrees, but she can’t change how Dex deals with it. She asks if Dex was questioned, and he says, by Dante. She says, and? and he says, Dex says nothing happened. She wonders if Dante asked him if it was Sonny, and Michael says, Dex denied everything. She says, he can’t do that, and Michael says, he already did. His phone rings, and he says, the pie is being secured as they speak, and steps away. Cameron comes back, and Josslyn says she’s got to run. She’ll call him.

Nikolas says, Esme is out of her mind if she thinks he would lift a finger to help her, but she says, prison is no place for a baby, or a woman in her condition. He says, she’s deranged, and she sits on the sofa. She says, anything could happen to them. Speaking of, how is Spencer enjoying Pentenville? He tells her not to mention his son’s name, and she says, he must have a real target on his back, being a spoiled rich kid. He says, Spencer’s being looked out for, and she says, of course (🍷) he is. Which is how she knows they can count on him. He asks what she thinks he can do for her, and she says, use some of that Cassadine money. He says, right, because Commissioner Ashford and DA Scorpio are easily bribed. She says, take the money to hire the best defense attorney out there, a real shark. One that will make the PCPD think twice about even attempting to prosecute her. He says he can’t help her, and she says she guesses she’ll just have to talk to Ava.

Sonny tells Ava, when he and Carly got divorced, Michael thought he was choosing Nina over Carly and his family. Ava says, people divorce all the time. Michael is grown, and needs to get over it. Her guess is, he will. He asks if she’s talking about forgiveness; her? She tells him, she’s just saying. People hurt the ones they love; they just do. It’s inevitable. But if the love is real, and the person is truly sorry, she thinks they deserve a second chance. Or at the very least, they deserve to be left in peace; Michael is affording him neither option. He’s choosing to wallow in his hurt, obsess over it, instead of getting on with his own life. Sonny says, as long as Michael is stuck on revenge, nothing is going to change his mind.

Benoit says, that concludes new business. Now, public commentary on the Beach Parkway Project. Drew says, that’s her cue, and Carly gets up. She introduces herself, and says, her mother was born and raised in Jacksonville, and she’s buried at Sandy Shores Cemetery. She’s here hoping the Guild will reconsider their decision, and let her mother and hundreds of others rest in peace. Peyton says, this is a waste of the Guild’s time. They’ve already approved the Parkway construction. Carly says, without consulting the many families who would be affected by this. She contacted a few, and they told her they had no idea about the Guild’s grand plan, until someone showed up on their doorstep offering them money to relocate their loved ones. These people are part of their community. Peyton says, as if Carly cared about this community. She ran away from Jacksonville the second she could; hasn’t been back in years. Don’t waste their time listening to this woman. She’s sure they all read the story in the news. This is the type of woman who flies in to disrupt decent people’s lives, and then hopes the next flight out. Carly says, decent people? She hopes Peyton isn’t referring to herself.

Victor tells Eileen, they’ll speak later. In the bedroom, Lucy thanks Johann for taking the flowers. She appreciates it. She goes back to the living area, and Johann follows. We see the phone isn’t quite in place.

Anna tells Valentin, Lucy needs to get out now, and Lucy tells Victor, there he is, her emotional support buddy. Johann practically stands between them, and I’m surprised Victor isn’t telling him to buzz off. Lucy says she couldn’t have made it through the day without Victor, and he says he’s happy to have been of service. Johann asks if Victor swept the room, and Victor asks if that isn’t Johann’s job. Lucy says she’ll leave them to it, and starts to leave, but Johann blocks her. He says, she’s not leaving until he’s done.

Michael asks where Josslyn is, and Cameron says, she had to leave. Michael asks if he knows where, but Cameron says, she left pretty abruptly. Michael says, he told her to let it go, and Cameron says, let what go? Michael says, she’s mad that Dex Heller isn’t pressing charges against Sonny. Dex denied everything when Dante questioned him about being abducted. Cameron asks what he’s talking about, and what does it have to do with Josslyn?

Dex answers the repeated knocking at his door, and Josslyn walks in. He says she’s back, and she tells him, stop smiling. She stood up to that Carver guy and saved his life, and he’s throwing it all away to cover for Sonny.

Sonny says, until the attacker gets caught, he’ll have his people look after Trina, and Ava thanks him. She gets up, and says she’ll be seeing him around. She’s staying with Nina for now. He says she’s sure Nina’s place is big enough for them to avoid getting in each other’s way, and she says she won’t be there much longer. She’s moving soon. He asks where she’s headed… Don’t. She’s going back to Windymere?

Esme asks Nikolas, where is Ava anyway? Don’t tell her love didn’t conquer all. He tells her to leave Ava out of this, and she says, it still amazes her that Ava shoved her off a parapet and didn’t even check to see if she survived. It’s a miracle they’re still here. He says, there’s no reason to tell Ava, and she says she disagrees. He asks, what’s the point? Ava knows already that they slept together. Esme says, and she took it so well. What does he think this little update is going to do to her? It’s one thing know he cheated on her conceptually, and quite another to see physical proof. He says, Ava’s a grown woman; she knows things like this happen. She says, aww. He’s still holding out hope for the two of them. That’s sweet. Delusional, but sweet. When Ava finds out Esme is having his baby, she will never forgive him. He says, she’s right.

Victor says, Lucy smells divine. He might even say edible. She says, it’s her lipstick. It smells and tastes like strawberries. (Is she 14?) He tells her, you don’t say, when Johann comes out and says, they’re clean. Victor says, excellent, and Lucy kisses him on the cheek. She says, ta! He asks when he’ll see her again, and she says, call her. She leaves, and outside, she clutches her stomach and leans on the wall.

Carly says, she has no shame about her roots, or either of her mothers, both of whom were born and raised in Jacksonville. Were they perfect? No, but is anyone in this room? They’re just as much a part of this city as the Guild is, whether they belong to the almighty country club or not. The story about her? The facts are true; the spin, not so much. She admits she was young, and made mistakes. At the time, she tried to pretend they didn’t happen and pave over who she’d been; present herself as someone shiny and new, much like their proposed access road. But she quickly learned ignoring her past wouldn’t work. That her history isn’t just part of who she is, it’s a vital part of her story. And Sandy Shores is a vital part of Jacksonville’s. Her mother loved this city; she loved being close to the beach. She always said, there’s not a problem that can’t be solved by a few hours at the beach. Don’t move her mother to God knows where for a road; a road that divides Jacksonville no less, putting the burden on the working class neighborhood that they know is the heart of Jacksonville. Don’t pave over Jacksonville’s heart. I still can’t get over how good Linda Purl looks. She legit looks better than she did when she was younger, which is rare when someone has work done.

Lucy runs over to Anna and Valentin, and Anna asks if she’s all right. Lucy says she doesn’t think Victor suspects anything. But she doesn’t get it. Why didn’t Johann find the bug? Valentin says, they deactivated it when they found out he was going to do a sweep, and Anna says, without a signal, it can’t be detected. Lucy says, that’s good news, but Valentin says, the bad news is, the bug is dead, along with their chances of finding out who Victor is working with. (They can’t reactivate it? A WSB and ex-DVX agent?) Lucy says, never fear. She knows who it is. Anna says, how? and Lucy says she listened in on Victor’s phone call from the bedroom. Anna asks why she’d take such a risk, and Lucy says, it was a risk, but it worked. Guess who Victor was talking to? Deputy Mayor Ashby.

Benoit thanks Carly for her input, and says, the floor is open if anyone has anything else to add. No one does, and he says, Carly has given them a lot to think about. The public portion of this meeting is over. The people get up to leave, and Carly asks if there isn’t going to be a vote.

Cameron tells Michael, so Joss thought Sonny did something to Dex, and went to confront him at Pozzulo’s alone? Michael says, at first, but then she found him, and Cameron says, thank God. He knows Sonny wouldn’t hurt Joss, but his employees might not have gotten the memo. And all this for a guy like Dex? Michael asks if Cameron knows Dex, but Cameron says, not really. What he’s heard has been less than flattering. Michael says he thinks it’s best for everyone involved if they keep Josslyn as far away from Dex as possible.  

Josslyn asks Dex if it’s landing how lucky he is. How lucky he is that she realized what was going on, and had Michael to go to. And that Michael could stop this man from cutting Dex up into a million pieces? He says he’s grateful; he never said he wasn’t. She says, what about the guys who weren’t so lucky? All the guys who didn’t have somebody realize they were in danger and save them? What about all the guys who are buried somewhere in the marsh, under Sonny’s orders? And this is the man Dex is supporting? He says he gets why she feels that way, but she says she doesn’t think he does. He says, when he was discharged from the army, he started working for a security firm; that’s a fancy way of saying he was a mercenary, a soldier for hire. He would go to whatever combat zone they sent him to, no questions asked, and he did what needed to be done. She says, and this is like that? but he says, no. That’s his point. He’s better off not risking his life for some corporation. She says, so he’d rather risk his life for Sonny. Please tell her he’s not that naïve. He says, think about it. He proved himself, both by surviving and not giving Sonny up. This is an opportunity for him. She says, opportunity for what? and he says, advancement, power. It might sound awful, but they haven’t lived the same lives. She’s been given much more choices than he has. She says, that’s the biggest cop-out she’s ever heard.

Sonny says, Ava is going to take Nikolas back, even though she thinks he stabbed her? but she says she never believed… He says, she banned Nikolas from her hospital room. If she wasn’t scared, why’d she do that? She flashes back to Nikolas admitting he had sex with Esme, and she tells Sonny, she’s not going to say she and Nikolas don’t have their issues, because they do. But they’re beginning to move past them. He says, so she wants him to give up on Michael – she says, temporarily – but she won’t give up on Nikolas. She says, the situations are very different, and he asks, how? She says, Michael seems hellbent on revenge, and Nikolas actually wants to work things out. When things are good with Nikolas, they’re very, very good. Who knows? Maybe they’ve weathered the worst of it, and now it’s just smooth sailing ahead. He says, good luck with that, and she thanks him, even though we all know that means, all the luck in the world won’t help you. At the door, she says, if she could leave him with one last bit of advice. She knows she’s biased; this kid saved her life. He says, so now they’re back to Dex, and she tells him, she just wants to say that having Trina to mentor, and talk to, and teach about her business, has been so wonderful for her, in ways she didn’t realize at first. She thinks it will be good for him to have Dex around. And what’s good for him, and keeps him in power and safe, is good for their daughter, so she’s all for it. She leaves, and Sonny closes the door.

Nikolas asks, who else knows Esme is in Port Charles? and she says, plenty of people saw her. Windymere wasn’t her first stop. He says, she’s lying. She wouldn’t risk it. She’s been skulking around in this get-up, remaining hidden. That’s smart… until now. She asks if he’s threatening to kill her, but he says he’s offering to help her. If she wants to stay out of jail, she has to stay out of sight. She says, the lawyer he gets will see to that, but he says, it’ll take time. She asks, how much time? and he says, a couple of days; maybe a week. Now would she like to stay in a cell, or somewhere more comfortable? She says she supposes he has a point. She’ll hide out here. Is her old room made up? He says, no one can know she’s at Windymere, even the staff. She says, they wouldn’t dare turn her in, and he asks if she’s sure about that. She didn’t exactly endear herself to them when she lived here. She says, so what are her options? Hide out in the stables? She and the baby will need a proper bed. He says, and she’ll have one. He knows just the place.

Benoit says, the vote is private. They’ll take everything she said under advisement. She says, what about the results? and he says, they’ll be posted on the Guild’s website, and she thanks them for their time. She and Drew leave, Peyton staring daggers at Carly. In the hall, Drew says she was amazing; really, truly amazing. She says, thanks, but she’s not sure it was enough.

Josslyn says, now that Dex is done explaining himself to her, can she tell him what she sees? He says, go for it, and she says she sees a guy who’s tough, and smart, and strong, and can do whatever he wants with his life, and he’s choosing this. Sonny will turn on him again. Know how she knows? Because her mom stood beside him more than anybody else over the years, and he left her. So it’s inevitable Sonny will turn against Dex. And when he’s hanging from a meat hook again, please do not ask her to come save him. She leaves, and in the hallway, her phone dings. It’s a text from Cameron, saying: Meet me after my shift? Important. Dex’s phone rings, and Sonny tells Dex to come to his office. They need to talk about Dex’s future.

Nikolas brings Esme to a suite of rooms upstairs, where all the furniture is covered. He says, it has everything she needs, including an en suite bathroom. He lifts a covering, and shakes it, dust flying everywhere. Esme coughs, and says, it’s a little dusty. He says he’ll make sure to bring up a vacuum. It’s used for storage, so the staff won’t find her, and dust is preferable to a jail cell, yes? She tells him, make sure he works fast. She doesn’t want to be stuck up here for long. He says he’ll take care of everything, and she says she’ll need a computer. He says, there’s no Wi-Fi in this wing, and she says, no internet? What’s she supposed to do? Nikolas and I both say, read, together, and he says he’s sure she’ll find something to her liking. Have fun. She hears the lock click, and runs over to try the door. It’s definitely locked, and she yells for Nikolas to let her out. What the hell is going on? From the hallway, he says he refuses to let her hurt anyone else, and she says she didn’t attack those people. He says, maybe not, but she’s still dangerous. Enjoy the books. She bangs on the door, and screams, come back!

Lucy says, admit it. She makes a pretty damn fine spy. Anna says, this it for her now, but Lucy says, she has Victor exactly where they want him. They can’t kick her off the team now. Anna says, that’s exactly what she’s doing, because it’s becoming too dangerous. Lucy says, no. She has so many interesting questions. The most obvious one is, pray tell why is the Deputy Mayor working with Valentin’s father? Valentin says, they’ll take it from here, but Lucy says, they can’t just dismiss her like this. He says she’s served an extremely useful purpose, but for her own safety, it’s time for them to part ways. Lucy says, wow. Fine. If they’re ever in a jam… Anna says, they know where she lives. Anna thanks her, and Lucy says, you’re not welcome, and stomps off. Valentin says, she’s not going to leave Victor alone, and Anna says she knows, but thinks she has an idea that might stop her. Deputy Mayor? Right after Luke died, Laura told Ashby that they suspected Victor. Could she have been working with him all this time? He says he thinks it’s likely. The question is, did his father just want to keep an eye on Laura, or is there something more to their partnership? Anna says she hopes the Deputy Mayor can help them find out.

Victor sees the phone askew, and picks it up. His fingers come away with red smears on them, and he sniffs it. He says, strawberry? Oh Lucy.

Tomorrow, Maxie tells Spinelli that he’s making a mistake; Lucy has no idea how to thank Victor; and Carly asks Peyton, how did the Guild vote?

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – Part 1

They do that time jump thing where we go backward through the Reunion. Time filler, since this is going to be three parts. Then we see what’s basically the trailer, and now I feel like I saw this show already.

The set is done like the Beverly Hills Hotel. Everyone gets ready. Garcelle and Sutton clink bacon strips. All the dresses are gorgeous, and Andy says it’s the chicest Reunion he’s ever seen. They’re one Housewife short because Diana’s not feeling well, but Andy says, they’ll check in from home later. Blah-blah-blah, the introductions, and how everyone looks exquisite. Andy says, Kyle went blond, and I don’t think we have the same definition of blond. LisaR brings out her ceramic bird, says, Lois is here with her, and the angels are protecting her. Bleh.

We go back to the Homeless Not Toothless episode, and Jamie Lee Curtis showing the merchandise sold by her charity, My Hand In Yours. Andy says, The Daily Beast deemed the Homeless Not Toothless discussion, the best 8 minutes of TV. They might actually be right; it was pretty funny. Andy makes them say it together, then tells them, Jamie Lee is here. Then says he’s kidding, and then she comes out. I love her, and wish she’d associate with a better group of people, but her new movie Halloween Ends is coming out this weekend, so I get it. Andy tells her that she’s an honorary Housewife, and she says, being on the show had an unexpected benefit. When the show aired, it was the single best day for her charity. She’s rebranded it the Chicest Children’s Charity, and renamed the windchime, the Dorit Chic Windchime. She says Dorit’s genuine enthusiasm changed her company. She gifts everyone with pumpkins that have their likenesses carved in them, and they’re amazingly accurate. Andy says, Jamie Lee is the original Scream Queen, which is debatable, since there were plenty of them in the 50s and 60s, and asks how it feels to know she’s an OG after 45 years. She says she feels the love from the horror fans, and he asks Kyle how it was working with her. Kyle says, they have a rare and unique relationship. Kyle knew Jamie Lee when she was a child, and Jamie Lee a teenager. Now they’re friends, mothers, and wives, and it’s an amazing relationship that’s grown stronger. They laugh about Jamie Lee looking at the camera when she was on the show, and she says, when she showed up, the first person she talked to was a camera person. We see a clip of Jamie Lee looking into the camera, and saying that she’s going to break every rule they’ve had. She says she thinks they’re fabulous because they’re unseen, but not unseen. She makes her exit, and Andy wonders if he can ask a dumb question. Erika says, when hasn’t he? He says, and they’re just getting started.

Andy asks Garcelle about son Jax being attacked on Instagram, and says, it was racist and unsettling. Garcelle says, it was the most cruel thing anybody could do to a child. It was Jax’s first week of high school, and somebody sent him her Playboy pictures. It hurt a lot, but the one that really affected all of them said, if it weren’t for Jax’s white daddy, he’d have a knee on his neck. Garcelle chokes up, and Andy says, there seems to have been trauma out social media for everybody this season. It was heavy and it sucks. Erika says she doesn’t like death threats, and Andy says, a lot of it was from bots, and not real people, but someone was behind it. Garcelle says, absolutely, and he asks if she thinks it’s someone in the group. She says she doesn’t know if any of them would have personally said things like that, but someone purchased the bots. She felt like she wasn’t wanted on the show, and a way to get her to leave was to attack her children. She has an investigation going on. Andy says, he’s appalled. Viewers can love the cast or love to hate them, but only in the spirit of entertainment. Bravo condemns any kind of reaction like this.  

He tells us, in an instant, Dorit’s life was turned upside down, but as much trauma as the home invasion was, it was just the beginning. We see the video, and there’s a lot of reaction from everyone. It’s still upsetting to me, so I can’t imagine what it’s like for poor Dorit to relive it. I notice LisaR looks like the merman from Cabin in the Woods, and if you haven’t seen the film, that’s not a compliment. Andy asks how Dorit’s life has changed, and she says, there’s no aspect of her life it hasn’t touched. She had issues in her marriage, and she has a wonderful marriage. It does something to your confidence as a mother, and there are days it’s hard for her to get out of bed. You’re grieving the loss of who you were. Kyle says she lives right down the street, and to think they were sleeping while Dorit was going through this is upsetting. Andy says he’s impressed at how she kept her cool, and Dorit says, her mama instinct kicked in. She thought if she made them feel she was helpful and not a threat, she could save her babies. Andy says, Dorit got a lot of support, but there were naysayers. One viewer wondered what thief would leave Dorit’s phone by the gate, and another theorized it was PK running an insurance scam. Dorit says she doesn’t pay attention to that stuff, and it’s not something you can orchestrate. She was lucky, and not a day goes by that she doesn’t remind herself of that. Andy asks why she thinks they let her have her phone back, and she says, she was calm, and showed them where everything was. She said she’d have to call her husband once they were gone, and could they please leave her phone. One of the guys said he’d leave it by the gate, and he did. Andy asks if they were caught, but she says, it’s still an open investigation. He asks if she’s replaced anything, and she says she’s not making repeat purchases, but please. Everyone laughs, and Andy stifles a yawn. She asks if she’s boring him again; that’s two years in a row. We flash back to the exact same thing at the last Reunion, and he insists he’s just a yawner. Dorit says she takes it day by day, and some days are better than others. She has diagnosed PTSD. Kyle asks if she told them that the person who burglarized their house reached out to her sister-in-law. He said he was the person who burglarized them, and he went to jail, but her stuff is at his grandmother’s house. He sent pictures, and they sent him money, but not much. Erika wonders why she sent a f***ing dime, and says, it was a shakedown. It’s unclear as to whether she actually got her stuff back, but way to eclipse someone else’s story. Andy says, they’ll leave it there, and wishes Dorit continued recovery.

Andy wonders if the generation gap can be bridged, and we flash back over Crystal’s season. He asks why she’s sharing about her eating disorder on social media, and she says, she felt it was important to say it out loud. Culturally, Asians are quiet, and it helps people understand everyone’s experience is different. One viewer remarked that the biggest fear is that someone will walk in while they’re binging or purging, and asks if that was what was behind Crystal freaking out over Sutton walking in on her. Crystal says, no, but it was attached to her body dysmorphia because she was naked. Andy says, a viewer wondered why it was okay for Kyle to talk about her eating disorder when Crystal brought up hers, but not okay for Sutton to bring up her miscarriages when Diane talked about hers. Isn’t it the same thing? Kyle says, her behavior at Garcelle’s party was terrible, and blah-blah-blah too many tequilas. We flash back to Kyle’s behavior, and I want to smack her all over again. Another viewer asks why the blip Erika told Crystal that she’d take laxatives, and Erika says she thought she was empathizing. She grew up in a dance studio. Andy says, she followed up by telling Crystal not to eat the chicken tenders, and Erika says, it was the wrong thing to do. Crystal says, they talked about it, and they’re good. Yet one more viewer asks how Crystal feels about Dorit sharing the info that Crystal was vomiting every day. Crystal says, that was not okay, and Dorit looks totally surprised. Crystal tells her, when she shares, she tends not to be graphic because it’s shameful. When she saw Dorit talking about what she’d shared privately, it was not okay. She gets teary, and says, it felt gossipy and so personal, but Dorit says, Crystal had been talking to the entire table. She never mentioned it until Crystal raised the issue. It’s not like she shared a secret. We flash back to that, and she kinda did. Crystal tells her, when they speak privately, they’ll talk about it, but it was terrible. Dorit says, she’s truly sorry.

We move on to the dark comments Sutton supposedly made, and Andy says, Crystal alluded to them being racist comments, but refused to say what they were. Crystal says she didn’t know Sutton then. Knowing her now, she wouldn’t have the same feeling today. It wasn’t something specific, but the overall conversation made her feel a certain way. It was the tone of the conversation. Kyle says, she’s telling them the opposite of what she said then, and she and Crystal go around in circles, Sutton not saying one word. Andy wonders why Sutton’s comment about her pool full of kids of different races was offensive, and Crystal says, just because she found it offensive, doesn’t mean they have to. Andy asks what Sutton’s reaction is, and Sutton diplomatically says she understands where Crystal was coming from last year, and she didn’t use the right words to communicate. LisaR and Erika are bored and want a fight, so they wonder why it’s suddenly okay with Crystal and Sutton. Crystal wonders why they can’t be allowed to be okay, which is a damn good question. Andy says he thinks it’s great they’re okay, but for three episodes, he wondered what the dark comment was. Dorit thinks Crystal was trying to make herself look good, and Crystal says, one of her biggest regrets  is bringing it up. Andy asks what Kyle meant by calling Crystal a dramatic millennial, and Kyle says, one thing was the words she used, like violated. Crystal says, Kyle said she felt violated when someone broke into her house, and Kyle says, they didn’t bring her a jacket. Crystal wonders why they’re harping on a word instead of asking what her experience was. LisaR makes faces, and cocks her head back and forth, looking like a pigeon. Andy brings up Crystal saying, it was no surprise the women didn’t understand why requesting Michael Jackson was problematic, and Erika asks why it was. He says, because of the accusations, and she says, he beat the case. Ha-ha! Beat it. A viewer asks what Crystal did to get 14 friends mad at her, and Crystal says, it was because she was doing the show. After going around and around this, saying Crystal was contradicting herself again, Kyle says she heard different, but she’s not saying anything. Um… She just kinda did.

Diana beams in from home, and Andy says he knows she’s sick, but she looks good. She says, he should have seen what she looked like this morning. He says, her lawyers have been busy with cease and desist letters. There were rumors online that Diana was some sort of madam, and her book was a catalog of call girls. I think Diana is a lot of things, but that’s so stupid, even I don’t believe it. She says, the book has done good for a lot of people, and it broke her heart to have to defend it. Andy asks if there’s any truth that she’s linked to Jeffrey Epstein, and she says she’s never met him. The photo was from 1997 in NYC, when she was a refugee in London. It would be a physical impossibility. He says she’s been linked to everyone from Justin Timberlake to Guy Ritchie, and she says, they’re friends. Isn’t she allowed to have friends?   He brings up some brouhaha that ensued when Diana said something about Black content creators. Apparently, she had this confused with people creating content for the dark web. Crystal says, she saw it, and was going to call Diana out. Then Diana said she couldn’t believe black content creators were writing mean things about them to troll them with, and Crystal realized she didn’t understand what the phrase meant. Diana says she can’t apologize enough, and I think a big part of her problem is, she doesn’t do her homework. Andy says, Diane claimed if your passionate about widows and orphans, put your money where your mouth is, and she did. She says, Erika’s hands were tied, so she thought the rest of them could join efforts. Andy asks if Erika is pissed, but she says, not at all; she thinks it’s wonderful. Andy asks if Garcelle thought Diana was behind the bots, and Garcelle says, if she’s being honest, yeah, she did. Diana says, Garcelle must have a low opinion of her if she thinks Diana would bully a fourteen-year-old, and Garcelle says, yeah. I love Garcelle.

Diana says she doesn’t know how evil she must appear, if Garcelle would consider she’d do that. Garcelle starts to talk, and Diana interrupts her, which doesn’t sit well. Garcelle says, Diana sent her a threatening text, and Diana says she asked Garcelle to pencil her name What I just said. She means edit, and needs to understand what she’s saying before she says it. Diana says she was getting death threats, and Garcelle says, Jax was at his dad’s house when he saw the post. We see the rest of the nasty white daddy post, and it says, tell your mom to leave Diana alone or deal with us. Garcelle says, Jax wrote, you’ve gone too far, and reposted it because he was fearful. He wasn’t thinking about taking out Diana’s name. He wasn’t thinking about protecting anyone but himself, then everyone picked it up. Diana sent a text to Garcelle that said if anything happened, Garcelle would be responsible. A threat is a threat. Diana says, her family has been murdered, and I assume she’s talking about in Bosnia. She tells Garcelle, it’s not a cease and exist [sic], and Garcelle says she’s not talking to Diana anymore. Diana says she can help protect Garcelle’s family; her team will find out who did this. Garcelle says she has an investigation of her own going, and Andy asks, what’s the number one thing Garcelle would say to Diana if she was here? Garcelle asks, why is Diane so obsessed with her? Diana says, because she’s gorgeous, and Andy says, Garcelle didn’t mean it that way, right? Garcelle says, Diana has been targeting her on social media every day; sometimes twice a day. We see a few posts that shade Garcelle, and Garcelle says, please leave her alone. She doesn’t hate Diane; she just wants to be left alone.

Next time, LisaR says she’s a work in progress (ugh); Diana wonders what’s worse, the c-word or evil, and Andy says, the c-word (agreed – no contest); Sutton doesn’t consider LisaR a friend; and Kathy arrives in her robe and slippers.

👨🏻 Altogether Ooky…

Inviting your back tomorrow, for soap and more Charm than you can stand. The new season of the God awful Winter House premiers tomorrow, but no recap, just complaining. Until then, stay safe, stay not taking everything too personally, and stay giving someone a second chance if the love is real and they’re truly sorry. People hurt the ones they love; they just do.