Tag Archives: Jackson Brown

April 28, 2023 – Anna Gets Some Familiar Help, It’s Crazy, Weird Reunion, Probable Return, Two Awfuls, Binge Wives, Pets (!), 8 Concise Quotes & Doctor

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Somewhere in Greenland. Curtis asks if Valentin thinks they were seen, and Anna adds, or heard. Valentin says, the Haunted Star is docked. Let’s hope their radar’s off. Drew says, If it’s not, radar is usually used to detect debris, other ships, icebergs, things like that. They came in low, beneath the hills, and landed on the opposite side of the island. Curtis says, they took the scenic route, and Valentin says, it’s the safest way to approach the island undetected. Curtis says, and for bringing home Trina and Liesl, and Laura’s grandsons.

Holly goes to Anna’s hospital room, and says, Robert’s busy lobbying the Bureau about stepping up the rescue. Anna says, whatever it takes. The island is in international waters, so not any government can claim it. Holly says, no sovereignty to answer to; you’d think that would make it easier. Anna asks if he said anything else, and Holly says she was hoping on reflection he’d decide they were crazy to think Victor’s in possession of a biological weapon, but he does think that is the likely scenario. Anna says, he’s going to have to convince them of that, and give them airtight evidence to convince them to take any action. Holly asks how they find airtight proof, and Anna says she called in a favor. There’s a knock at the door, and Holly opens it. Andre says, Anna Devane, what have you gotten yourself into this time. I love Andre!

Jordan calls Curtis, but gets voicemail. She says, it’s a long time to have his phone off. Call her.

Josslyn walks into the squad room, and asks Dante where her mom is. He says, she’s in the interrogation room with the SEC, and Josslyn asks if they said what it was about. He says, all he can tell her is, her mom’s in a bit of trouble.

In the interrogation room, Diane says her client is absolutely willing to cooperate, even though they dragged her out of her son’s wedding to bring her down here. SEC guy 1 says, they apologize, but it’s a very serious matter. They have reason to believe Carly colluded with Drew Cain to raise the stock price of Aurora Media. SEC guy 2 says, and it could send her and Drew to prison.

Michael says, how are you feeling, Mrs. Corinthos? and Willow says, happily married, Mr. Corinthos. How about him? He says, same. He’s just sorry this business with his mother interrupted their night. She says, interrupted, but didn’t derail. They got married; that’s what matters. She is worried about his mom though. He says he’s sure this will all get sorted out, when Sonny comes in, and asks if they spoke to Diane. The SEC got a tip that Carly colluded with Drew during the ELQ/Aurora merger last year. Michael says, that merger didn’t even happen. What’s the big deal? Willow wonders what it means for Michael. He had a division at Aurora, and he’s a major shareholder at ELQ. Will they bring charges against him too?

Frank tells Dex, sweep’s done. There are no bugs in the warehouse. Dex says, great. Boss wants him to check the perimeter while he gets everything set up. Frank leaves, and Dex takes out a tiny camera. Brick walks in and says, got you now, kid.

Portia looks at a photo of her and Trina from the wedding on her phone, and flashes back to Trina saying I love you on the phone call from the Haunted Star. Scotty says, Dr. Robinson, or is it Dr. Ashford? and Portia says, it’s still Dr. Robinson. She asks how she can help him, and he says, she’s here by herself. He thought she could use a little company, since they’re kind of in the same boat. She thanks him, and says, that would be lovely, and she’s told him before, please, it’s Portia. He must be so worried about Liesl. He says he is, but she’s a tough cookie, and if you cross her, she’s kind of dangerous. He finds that comforting right now. Not to make things worse… She says she doesn’t think he can, but he says he can. Just ask anybody. Trina’s not a mad scientist like Liesl. Those Cassadines… Portia must be scared about what they have up their sleeves. Portia says she is, and Scotty says, she must be worried sick, which brings him to his million dollar question. Why is she here at the hospital and not at home? She says, simply put, work is the only thing keeping her from losing her mind right now.

Anna introduces Andre to Holly, and Holly wonders why she knows that name… Oh, right. He was involved in the Anamnesis Project. He says, and he’s been trying to right that wrong ever since, and Holly says, he has her empathy. A short time ago, she got mixed up in something deplorable, and ever since, she’s been trying to help the Bureau in any way she can. Anna says, Andre’s been doing the same. Thankfully, he’s been backchanneling into the Bureau’s records without raising any alarm. Andre takes out his tablet, and says, unfortunately, he doesn’t have access to any files directly related to Project Demeter, but he’s hoping he got them the next best thing. Back when he was doing psyche evals for the Bureau, he had access to the complete dossier of the original operation against the Cassadines. Holly says, the crazy weather machine? That was… He says, forty years ago. Holly says she’s amazed they didn’t delete all those files with Victor in charge, and Andre says he’s sure they did. Fortunately, the WSB is an institution of many failsafes and redundancies. So he just downloaded it off the server. Holly asks if that isn’t traceable, and he says, oh yes. When they realize he did it, they’re going to come looking for him, and he’ll have a lot of questions to answer. Anna says, they’d better find something quick.

Jordan leaves a message for Laura, saying, she just called Laura’s office, and they said she was taking personal time. Give her a call back please.

Josslyn says, insider trading? and Dante says, in the Aurora/ELQ merger. She says, but her mom lost money; she lost her hotel. He says, the SEC doesn’t care whether her mom lost money or not. They care about the timing of the stock mergers. Jordan comes by, and Josslyn says, her mom didn’t do anything wrong. Jordan says she hopes that proves to be true, but at the moment there are far more pressing matters going on in Port Charles than some business deal. Josslyn says, exactly. Like finding Trina and Spencer and Ace, and nobody is sure how much longer Willow can wait for Liesl Obrecht. Jordan says, she’s right there with Josslyn, and hopes their colleagues at the SEC treat her mom fairly. Josslyn says, she does have Diane, and Jordan says, with any luck, and Ms. Miller’s skill, they’ll release her mother as soon as they’re done questioning her. Dante says, they’re looking for Drew as well. Carly’s not going to give him up. Jordan says, Drew went radio silent too? and Dante asks if someone else went off grid. Jordan tells him to hold down the fort here. She needs to go check in on somebody.

Dex says he thought Brick was overseeing things on the west coast, but Brick says, it wasn’t a problem to fly out. The deal’s important, and it’s a good thing he came; Sonny’s been delayed. Family matters. Sonny shouldn’t be too long, but he’s here just in case.

Sonny says, the tip that the SEC got only concerns Carly and Drew. They’re working under the assumption that Michael was in the dark about any conversation as far as the merger. He asks Michael if that’s true, and Michael says, of course (🍷). Willow says, maybe Michael should go to the station and be with his mother and Joss, but Michael says, there’s no way he’s leaving her side. She says she’ll still be here when he gets back, and Sonny tells them to have fun on their wedding night. Eat cake, do whatever they have to do. He’s going to see if Carly and Josslyn are okay. He leaves, and Michael looks guilty, as he should.

SEC1 says, Carly and Drew have a close relationship, and Carly says, they’re members of the same extended family, and Drew is her son’s uncle. SEC2 says, they look pretty friendly right here, handing her a picture. Diane laughs, and we see it’s a picture of them hugging. She says, as her client stated, they’re members of the same extended family, and another member of that extended family, namely her client’s daughter-in-law, was recently diagnosed with Stage IV leukemia. When did it become a violation of SEC standards for family members to comfort each other? SEC1 says, they’re not unreasonable – Diane says, yes they are – and they don’t want to make an example out of her. She’s a public citizen, and it will go easy for her if she cooperates, and tells them where they can find Drew Cain.

Michael says he’s sorry this went down on their wedding day, and Willow asks if he called in the tip. He says, no, and she says, then it’s not his fault. She kisses him and seems a little dizzy for a moment. He asks if she’s okay, and she says, he’s never made a woman swoon before? He suggests she go upstairs, and get comfortable. There’s still plenty of food and champagne. No reason they can’t still celebrate. She says she likes the way he thinks. Let’s do it. He helps her up, and she leaves. Ned says he’s sorry. He really hates that things went down like this today. Michael asks what he means. This is exactly what Ned wanted.

Carly asks if they’ve checked Drew’s office, and SEC1 says, they know where he isn’t. Tell them where he is. Carly says, go to hell, and SEC2 asks Diane if she has any advice for her client at this juncture. Diane says she thinks they all just heard her client make her position abundantly clear, and as for this tender moment caught by the GH security cameras, they could have footage of her client and Mr. Cain making out like hormonal teenagers, and they still have no indication of the actual substance of their conversation. So they’ll have to do a hell of a lot better than that. She slides the picture back across the table, and SEC1 says, her client, who had no previous investments in Aurora Media, made a seven figure stock purchase immediately prior to the proposed merger between Aurora and ELQ. The timing alone presents a strong enough argument of collusion and insider trading. Although they are within their rights to hold Miss Spencer for 24 hours without charging her. Diane asks, can her client at least get some coffee if this is going to turn into a staycation for her, or is that an upcharge? SEC1 throws up his hands, and Diane goes into the squad room with Carly.

Josslyn hugs Carly, and says she’s worried about her. Sonny walks in, and says, they all are.

Drew asks if Valentin has anything, but Valentin says he’s still trying to get a satellite signal; give him a second. Drew says, keep at it, but in the meantime – he unfolds a map – the plan remains the same. The Haunted Star docked here – he points – on the west side of the island about 14 hours ago. Curtis asks how far they are from the boat, and Drew tells them, he’d say less than an hour. The island is small; less than one square mile. They just have to cross the land mass without getting caught. Valentin says, good thing they’re dressed warmly, and Curtis says, just so they’re on the same page, they’re not here to take down Victor Cassadine. Whatever he has planned is between him and the Bureau. They have to stick to their original plan of rescuing Trina, Spencer, Obrecht, and the baby. This is no time for anyone’s personal vendetta. Are they clear? Valentin says, crystal.

Anna says, some of this is redacted, when there’s a knock at the door. Jordan walks in, saying, she needs to talk to Anna about… She stops short, and says, Andre. He says, it’s been a long time, and she says, years in fact. What is he doing in Port Charles? Anna says, he heard about her ordeal, and wanted to check on her. Jordan says, of course (🍷) he did. She’s sure this has nothing to do with the fact no one can reach Laura, Curtis, or Drew. And since Valentin isn’t here by Anna’s bedside, and Andre is, that means something’s going down. Please tell her that they haven’t gone off on some half-baked rescue mission of their own. Holly says, they can neither confirm nor deny a rescue mission, half-baked or otherwise, and Jordan says she was afraid of that. Anna says she should have looped Jordan in. Her bad. Sorry. Jordan says, so Valentin, Curtis, Laura, and Drew all went out to rescue Trina and the others, and cause an international incident in the process? Holly asks if it would help to know where they’re going doesn’t technically belong to a sovereign nation, and Jordan says, just tell her how she can reach them. Holly says, so she can wish them luck? and Jordan says, so she can tell them to stand down. Anna says, Valentin does have a sat phone, but the reception is dodgy at best, and Jordan says, give her the number. Anna says she will, but she thinks it’s important to let them at least try to bring the hostages back. Jordan says, convince her. Why is this their only option? Anna says, because while a world government is sitting around debating what they’re going to do and what action to take, they can run out of time saving them. Jordan asks what she means, run out of time, and Andre closes the door. Anna says, they believe that Victor has been searching for a weapon of mass destruction. Holly says, and she thinks she knows what kind of weapon… the end of civilization.

Michael ask if Ned remembers what he said to him and Drew last fall, and Ned flashes back to saying, Michael’s mother knew about the potential merger; that’s why she bought the stock. That’s called insider trading, and it’s illegal. Martha Stewart went to prison for much less. Luckily for them, no one’s looked into it. It’s something they need to consider. Michael says, Ned threatened Drew that he could tip off the SEC. Now he has. Ned says, if Michael really thinks so little of him that he would send Michael’s mother to prison while his wife is dying, then Michael doesn’t know him at all. Michael says he guesses Ned is right. He really doesn’t.

Diane asks if Dante has any idea where Drew is, and he says, Drew was supposed to be at the wedding, walking Willow down the aisle. He guesses Drew’s plans changed. She asks if he thinks Drew got wind of the SEC’s interest and bolted, but he says, Drew doesn’t strike him as the type. She says, at least Carly isn’t antagonizing two federal agents for someone who ran off and left her holding the bag.

Carly says, the SEC knows about her and Drew; does Sonny know who might have said something? He says, the only people he knows who know about this are Brick and Olivia, and they would not say anything. Josslyn asks if they’re still holding Carly, and Carly says, yes. They think she knows where Drew is. Sonny says, does she? and lowering her voice, she says, he went after Victor to find Liesl, so he can bring her home to save Willow. And if the authorities find him, and get in his way… Sonny says, excuse him for a second, and leaves.

Brick says, Dex was with Sonny when he was ambushed. What was his take on the shooter? Dex says, he was a pro. He only missed the first shot because Dex saw movement out of the corner of his eye. Once he had them pinned, he was methodical. Brick says, so ex-military, and Dex says, almost certainly. Brick says, but a ghost. No fingerprints, DNA, nothing showed up on the database. Someone invested a whole lot of money to make this guy invisible. Dex wonders why he was after Sonny, and Brick says, that’s what Sonny wants to know. Brick’s phone rings, and he says, speaking of the devil. He asks Sonny, what’s up? and Sonny says, Carly and Drew are in a jam. He needs a favor. Brick says, name it, and while he’s talking, Dex sets the tiny camera up. Brick says he’ll get his people on it asap. No problem. Brick tells Dex that he has to take care of something for Sonny. Is he good here? Dex says, all good, and Brick leaves. A guard or whatever comes in, and Dex looks around nervously. Remind me not to send him to spy for me.

Scotty tells Portia that he knows what it’s like trying to distract yourself so your mind doesn’t go to bad places. Hell, he hasn’t been able to sleep in a while. He also knows what it’s like not to be able to help your child. Not that this is the same thing. She says, he doesn’t have to justify his fear. He loves Liesl, and they’re both here because the fear for their loved ones right now. He says, it’s the helplessness he can’t stand. Ever since Trina and Liesl were kidnapped, he has the sneaking suspicion he’s been kept in the dark. Robert, Anna, Felicia, and Laura. He thinks they know exactly when Victor has his martinis, and this whole Holly coming back to town… He thinks it’s all connected to Luke Spencer’s death. She asks why he says that, and he tells her, because Luke ended them in ’81, and they’re sore losers. So Victor got rid of Luke, and now Luke’s family wants to get rid of Victor, but who’s their collateral damage? Her and him… Trina, Liesl. God forbid you cross the Cassadines or the Spencers. Portia says she wishes she didn’t agree with him, but she’ll tell him one thing. She’s going to do everything in her power to make sure Spencer Cassadine does not come near her daughter ever again. And when Curtis brings Trina home… He asks what she means. Does she know something?

Andre asks what Holly found, and she hands him the tablet. He looks at it with Anna, and Holly says, the original dossier on the Cassadines from 1981. It’s got conversations between senior directors at the Bureau that even Robert wasn’t privy to back then. Anna says, so what they’re looking at are the psyche profiles of the three Cassadine brothers; Mikkos, Victor, and Tony. Ha-ha-ha! Tony? Which one of these things is not like the others? Anna says, Tony was more interested in living his playboy lifestyle than pulling off any kind of grand scheme. Jordan says, so no mastermind, and Holly says, unlike Mikkos, who was a megalomaniac, entirely fueled by greed and power. Jordan asks how this is different from Victor, and Anna says, while their actions might be very similar, their motivations were very different. Victor has always been an idealist, and evil certainly. Where Mikkos wanted to control the world, Victor was always determined to fix it. He really believed that these weapons they were developing would curtail the developing population that he believed was draining the resources of the world. Jordan asks if this is what Victor is trying to do now, and Anna says, Project Demeter. Demeter, the goddess of the harvest, who was so brokenhearted over her daughter Persephone; that’s what gave us the seasons. Holly says, in Greek mythology, one prayed and worshiped Demeter because she was responsible for the weather, and Andre says, is that the threat they’re dealing with? Could Victor be trying to reverse the climate crisis, and if so, why would he need hostages? Anna tells them, it says here that weather related tech was only one of the brother’s endeavors… Could Project Demeter be the Bureau’s attempt at retrieving all those weapons forty years ago? Holly says, scroll down.  There’s another weapon that hasn’t been accounted for yet. Anna scrolls down, and Jordan asks what it is. Anna says, an engineered virus, one that only a small portion of the population would be immune to. Jordan asks, how many wouldn’t be immune? and Anna says, according to this, the pathogen would be lethal to 80% of the population. Holly asks if this is what Victor’s idealism has led him to; saving the planet at the expense of 80% of the population? They have to get the WSB. She takes out her phone, but Andre puts his hand over it, and says, no. They can’t.

Ned says, Michael is dangerously close to saying things he can’t take back. Things that will make him look very bad when the truth comes out. Willow and Brook walk in as Michael says, the truth is, Ned is the one who pitched coming together to force Valentin out. Then when Drew put his company on the line, Ned double-crossed him. But Ned still thought he was a threat, so he turned Drew over to the SEC, and Michael’s mom was collateral damage. They all know Ned has no qualms about selling any of them out if it keeps him in power at ELQ. He even threw his own daughter out. Brook says, that’s enough, and Ned says, she’s right, it is, and walks out. Brook follows him, and Willow looks at Michael.

SEC1 tells Carly, good news. She’s free to go. Diane wonders what’s prompted this sudden change of heart, and he says, they found Drew Cain. He boarded a flight from San Diego to Maui fifteen minutes ago. In the meantime, the investigation is still ongoing, and charges could be pending. Diane says, understood, and she leaves with the SEC guys to finalize details. Carly tells Josslyn, the hell? Why does the SEC think Drew’s on his way to Maui? Sonny walks back in.

Valentin says he’s going to scope the area to see if he can find a satellite signal, and Drew says he’ll go to, to keep an eye out for Victor’s men. They leave, and Curtis asks how Laura is holding up. She says she’s cold, but also sort of energized. He asks if it takes her back to a more adventurous time, and she says, something like that. She’s trying to remember a time before all this madness began. Before the Cassadines infiltrated her life and tried to take it over. The first time she crossed paths with Victor and his brother, she was Trina’s age, and now Trina is on the Haunted Star. That’s the ship Helena gave to her and Luke for a wedding gift and then she cursed it, and she liked her curses. He says he’s not sure he much believes in curses, and she says she didn’t think that she did either, but Helena’s words have been looming over her for decades, and every time she thinks she’s gotten past it, it comes right back to haunt her again. He says, okay, so Helena’s dead. Hasn’t she won? Laura laughs and says, has she? The Cassadines keep finding ways to hurt her and her family, and now it’s her grandsons. It’s got to stop. Curtis says, then they stop it. If she says it’s a curse, it’s a curse. Then they break it, once and for all. She says she likes the sound of that.

Andre says, they can’t share their theory with the Bureau. Not now. Anna says she thinks they have more than just a theory, and Holly says, there’s a biological agent that could wipe out most of the world’s population. If not now, when? Andre says, let him put it like this. If she were the WSB and received this intel, what would she do? How would the Bureau react and respond to this information? Jordan says, clue her in, and Anna tells her that she thinks what Andre is saying is, if the Bureau finds out there’s a large scale weapon on the island, they’ll do everything in their power to neutralize it. Jordan asks if that’s not what they want, and Andre says, not if they send an aerial assault team to contain the virus. Anna says, they have to make a choice between saving eight people – Jordan says, including a babyand saving eight billion. They’ll just bomb it. They’ll just wipe that island off the map, killing everyone. But might that not release the weapon? Just saying.

Carly asks what Sonny did, and he asks what she means. She says, the SEC found evidence that Drew’s heading west? Sonny says he hopes Drew can stay ahead of them, and she says, Drew wasn’t in San Diego, and he definitely wasn’t headed to Maui. He says, as long as it keeps the SEC busy, that’s all that matters, and she says, he didn’t have to do this. He says, do what? He knows things haven’t been great between them, but they’re still family; all of them. He tells her to keep him posted, and leaves.

Michael says he’s sorry he lost his cool like that, and Willow says, he’s worried about his mom, for good reason. He says, she’d be the first one to tell him not to waste this precious time, and Willow says, she’d be right. Willow wants to get back to the gatehouse, and spend some time with Wiley and Amelia. Let’s celebrate the start of our marriage with them. His phone rings, and he says, it’s his mom. Carly asks, how’s Willow? and he says, she’s fine. She’s just anxious for Carly. Carly says, it was dicey for a while, when they asked her where Drew was off to, and he asks what she said. She says she didn’t have to say anything. They’re under the impression Drew is headed to Hawaii. He asks, how? and she says, Michael’s father.

Jordan says, they couldn’t possibly, but Holly says, the Bureau’s focus is the greater good; protecting the many over the few. And as heartless as it may sound, they’d consider Trina, Spencer, and the baby expendable. Anna says, they must remember though, that Victor did take Obrecht to that island, presumably to make the pathogen viable. If she knows anything about Liesl, she won’t make it easy for him. Andre says, which means they have some time, and Jordan says, time for what? Holly says, time for Laura and the rest to bring the hostages home before they alert the Bureau to the situation. Andre says, it’s a calculated risk; Victor could still release the pathogen. Jordan says, well what’s the point in saving the world if they can’t save the people they care about?

Portia tells Scotty that she doesn’t actually know much. She just knows Curtis left town because he left her a note. Scotty says he doesn’t think Curtis would leave town by himself. Who went with him? She thinks he should speak to Anna, and he says he will. He thanks her, and leaves.

Valentin and Drew come back, and Valentin says, good news. He got a sat signal. They’re about half a mile from the Haunted Star. Curtis says, that’s good. Let’s go. They start to walk, when Drew says, whoa, and they all stop. He says, footprints. Would Victor have his guards patrolling this far? They hear voices, and hide behind a huge rock. A man says, so far no timetable on how long this thing is going to last. Two men come by, and one says, it’s deserted. The other says, we’re getting paid a lot more than a standard fee. We see Valentin’s phone in the snow.

Carly asks if they’re done here, but Diane says, not quite. There’s another matter Carly needs to be made aware of. Pending the SEC investigation, all of Drew’s accounts and assets have been frozen. Carly says, that’s ridiculous, and Diane says, so have Carly’s.

Ned says, can Brook believe it? For Michael to accuse him like that? Insinuate that he would… She says, double-cross Drew? Secure his own position as CEO and make sure Drew isn’t a threat? Sounds like his standard tactics to her. She walks off.

Willow says, Sonny sent the SEC down the wrong trail to buy Drew time, and Michael says, he really stepped up for her. Willow says, not just for her; for Michael too.

Dante says he’s got the feeling Sonny had something to do with this hit on Drew’s location, and Josslyn says, no comment. He asks why she’s not celebrating then… because it was Sonny. She says, no comment, and he says he knows she thinks Sonny did wrong by her mother and Michael, but maybe this is a sign that one day he’ll make things right.

Brick says, they’ve got company, and Pikeman’s guards come in. In a low voice, Brick tells Dex that their boss is fashionably late. Dex says, we’re ready. Where’s their boss? A guard asks, where’s his? and Sonny says he’s here. Are they going to get this started, or what? Dex glances at the camera. Again, he is no spy.

Anna says, so they’re in agreement. They’re going to wait for Valentin and  the crew to bring everyone back. Jordan asks, how much time? but Anna says she doesn’t know. They’ll have to figure it out. They can’t stall forever obviously. Andre says he has some contacts in the Canadian military; people he trusts. He’ll get word that they might want to get within striking distance. Anna thanks him, and Holly says she’ll try to reach Valentin. He needs to know about this. They leave, and Jordan asks if Anna needs something else. The worst she can say is no, so ask. Anna says, the Bureau is probably going to run its investigation through Jordan’s department, and if they find out the location of the island or what Victor’s really up to… Jordan says she’ll run interference for as long as she can, and Anna thanks her.

Anna’s room door is open a crack, and Scotty listens outside. Jordan says, they have to keep this under wraps. People would panic if they knew Victor had a biological weapon.

Jordan looks at the picture of her and Trina from the wedding, and says, come home, baby girl. Please, please come home.

On the phone, Holly says, come on Valentin. Please pick up.

One of the Greenland guards suggests they go back, and the other says, sounds good to him. They start to move on, when Valentin’s phone rings. A guard says, hear that?

On Monday, Laura says, they give Victor exactly what he’s looking for; Anna says, Scotty does understand people’s lives are at stake; Martin asks, what was so important Nina needed to see him the moment he landed; and Victor has complete faith that Obrecht can do just that.

🥳 Like a Bad Penny…

I don’t blame her. I wouldn’t want to run against Betty White for anything either.

👠 Bursting the Bubble…

Of course it would be weird. Most people don’t act like total lunatics when it comes to their brother, especially after they’ve served a prison term.

💎 All Hail the Queen…

Actually, I think she’s too good for RHOBH, but whatever she wants.

🍸 Can’t Look Away…

When the worst human being on earth has something to say about his competition, even I have to listen. I disagree though. I don’t think Katie would have stood for Schwartz’s wishy-washiness forever. At least I hope not. He was a terrible husband.

🦘 Coming Soon To an Australia Near You…

I remember being surprised this even existed the first time around. Secret Housewives.

🐕 Let’s All Squee Together…

There’s some serious adorableness going on here.

https://www.rover.com/blog/favorite-celebrity-pets/

🐳 Quotes of the Week

Quitting can be a hard choice to make, but it’s also a brave one as well.Susan David

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.Kin Hubbard

The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress. – Frederick Douglass

I have always found that mercy bears richer fruits than strict justice.Abraham Lincoln

You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist. – Indira Gandhi

Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest. – Mark Twain

When you change your thoughts, remember to also change your world. – Norman Vincent Peale

He’s a Libra moon. That says a lot. – Alice (Rachel Sennott), Bodies, Bodies, Bodies

🎋 Seeing If the Grass Is Really Greener…

Circle back on Monday really Tuesday for soap, Sailing, and the never-ending reality of the House that shall not be named. Until then, stay safe, stay giving more than receiving, and stay never hiring Dex to be your spy. His face is a dead giveaway.

September 14, 2020 – The Britch Is Back, Tom Pitches a Fit Over Cucumbers & Empty Already

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

New York City. Jax and Nina sit down in a bar, and Jax says he’s always amazed at the amount of walking New Yorkers do. He outpaced himself. Nina says, most people think you need to spend money in New York to be entertained, but you really don’t. He says, it was a perfect Manhattan day. I heave a sigh, since I remember those. He says he’s glad she showed him her New York. He wanted something good to come out of the trip, no matter what. She says, something amazing came out of it. She has a new lead. In 1991, a woman named Phyllis Caulfield paid to have the heart charm divided. She just wishes she could remember where she heard the name from. Me too, since I swear I’ve heard it before.

Ava says she knows Sonny has his hands full. She’d be happy to have Avery stay with her while he takes care of things. He asks if she’s sure she’s not taking advantage to change their custody situation.

Jason goes in to see Mike, and says he’s there with him.

Elizabeth tells Brook that the doctors advise another 24 hours of bedrest. She’s glad Brook is feeling better, but she shouldn’t push herself. Talking now, Brook says, she’s pushing herself to leave, and Elizabeth tells her, unless she pushes herself to a relapse. Nikolas comes to the door with a huge bouquet of flowers, and asks if it’s a good time. Brook says, it’s perfect.

Franco comes out of the elevator at the hospital, and sees Doc. He says he hopes he’s not late; he wouldn’t want get fired. Doc says he must be referring to their new Chief of Staff, and Franco says, everyone is running around like chicken little. The new boss must rule with an iron fist. Felix hopes that’s the worst of it. The Chief was appointed by Cyrus, and they’ve all heard those rumors. Doc says he’d be wary of anyone Cyrus deemed worthy of the job. Felix says, it’s not going to be good; he guarantees it. Britt says she was hoping she and Felix would be besties. No welcome back for his new boss?

Sasha meets Lucy at the MetroCourt, and apologizes for making her wait. She says she’s sluggish, and lost track of time. Lucy says, that sounds like a bad excuse for a blind date. Sasha has to do better and focus. They’re going to be talking to a large cosmetics retailer tomorrow, and need purchase orders and a fat contract. Sasha needs to be there, and be aware of everything. Sasha thinks back to her first baggie of coke, and says, yes; absolutely.

Ned calls Olivia, and gets voicemail. He says her last couple of messages were vague, and he’s getting worried. Call him back; they need to touch base in person. He misses her.

Monte Carlo, Monaco. Robert says, welcome to the honeymoon suite. Olivia says, it certainly is luxurious. He says it was the only place available, and sorry, but he had to put it on her credit card. She says she owns a hotel; she’ll write it off as a business expense. She can check out the competition and pick up some pointers. He admires her positive spin, but she says she doesn’t have to spin too hard. She asks if he’s heard back from his contact, and he says they figured out the call was made about a mile from there. He just needs to pin down the location, but it’s a solid lead on Holly. He knows it’s a long shot, but feels in his gut, Holly is alive.

Elizabeth tells Brook that the doctors are advising her to stay an addition 24 hours, and Brook says she’s choosing not to take their advice. Nikolas says, if it’s a financial issue, he can cover the bill if she doesn’t want her family involved. Brook says, it’s not a question of money; it’s about her. She can’t stay cooped up much longer. Michael comes by, and Elizabeth asks if everything is okay. He says his mom called about Mike. He doesn’t have much longer.

Jason tells Mike, Sonny tells him that Mike is almost ready to let go. He just wants Mike to know that his family will be taken care of. Whatever they need, it doesn’t matter. He’ll keep Sonny, Carly, and the kids safe. Mike has his word.

Nina asks Jax, what if it works, and she finds the other part of the necklace belonging to her child? He says, whatever the outcome, she can say she did everything to find out the truth. She says, the next step is to find Phillis Caulfield, and find out what she knows. Jax opens the menu, and suggests they find out what Ryan’s Bar has to order. She says, Ryan’s Bar? She knows this place.

Olivia says, if Robert believes Holly is alive, she trusts his instincts. He thanks her, and she says, but – he says, here we go; the appeal to reason – she wants to make sure he’s facing all possibilities. He says he’d know Holly’s voice anywhere. She says she knows her son better than anybody. She was convinced if he heard her, he’d let her help him, but she was wrong. She was trusting her instincts, but maybe it was magical thinking. Ned tried to warn her that things might not turn out how she wanted, but refused to listen. Robert says, on the subject of Ned, what did he say when she told him that she was extending the trip to be with him?

Ned approaches Lucy’s table, and she asks how Brook is. She felt horrible about what happened, and in her dressing room. She was horrified, and sent a beautiful, big bouquet. She wanted to stop by, but thought Brook needed space to be with her family. Tell her all of Deception is wishing her a speedy recovery. Ned says he’ll do his best to relay her well wishes. Brook is getting better every day. Lucy says that’s truly wonderful, and if there’s anything any of them can do, let them know. He asks if she really means that, and she says, uh, yeah. He says, then pledge her ELQ vote to him.

Felix says, after he thought they were mercifully done with her, here comes the Bri – Britt says, she thinks the title he’s looking for is Chief, or Dr. Westbourne. Doc says, she’s the new Chief of Staff? She says, that’s correct, and Franco says, when her mother was arrested, she hightailed it out of Port Charles, and they thought they’d never see her again. What brings her back?

Ava says she knows Sonny is used to thinking the worst of her, but she’s sincere. They agreed to do the best for their daughter no matter what they think of each other. She wants to help, and believes it’s best for Avery. Please trust her. He says he’s not a mind reader. He doesn’t know if she’s hustling him. She says she’s not, and he says, her taking Avery would help. She says, please, and he says, on one condition.

Jax asks if the bar was Nina’s favorite hang out in the city back in the day, but she says she’s never been there, yet she knows it well. Did he notice the hospital across the street? Her first husband Silas worked there. He worked long hours, or at least claimed to. When he got off work, he’d come to the bar to meet up with his mistress, Ava Jerome.   

Sonny wants Avery nowhere near Windymere or whatever game Ava is playing with Nikolas. Ava agrees it would be confusing for Avery, and Sonny says she can take Avery to the cabin he rented for the summer. She asks where it is, and he says, 746 Brookview. He took Michael and Morgan there, and thought he’d create memories for Donna and Avery. It’s free at the moment. She asks if that isn’t where Nelle took Wiley, and if there’s any chance she’ll show up there. He says, the police searched the area for days. She won’t be there. Ava says she accepts. A few days in the mountains with Avery is idyllic. He says he’ll have Tony open the cabin, and get it ready. She thanks him, and he says he’ll walk her out.

Jason says he admires Mike. He and Sonny had a rough go of things, but he fought back, and they made peace. Jason knows it’s not easy, and knows this hasn’t been easy on Sonny, but he’s accepted Mike slipping away. Mike let Sonny take care of him, and gave Sonny what he needed. He gave Sonny a chance to forgive him, and make things right. He thanks Mike, saying he’s a good father, and should be proud. He touches Mike’s shoulder, and is the closest I’ve ever seen him to crying.

Nikolas says, Brook is generate a lot of paperwork for Elizabeth, but she says, it’s for a worthy cause. He asks if she thinks Brook will come back after visiting Mike. She says, not if left to her own devices, but she thinks Michael will bring her back. He asks if she doesn’t want to talk about the kiss that happened. She can’t tell anyone. She says, no problem. She wants to forget it happened.

Britt tells Franco, her mother hurt a lot of people, the two of them included. She needed to put distance between herself and her mother and her crimes. Franco says Britt had a good instinct, and Doc says, too bad she didn’t stick to it. Britt says Cyrus made her an offer she couldn’t pass up. Doc says he bets, and walks off. Franco says the last time Britt was in town, they bonded over her mother’s arrest. He thought they got on well, and is all for keeping that going, as long as Britt doesn’t cause trouble for Elizabeth or Felix or anybody else who works there. Julian gets off the elevator, and Britt says she came back for two reasons. To do a job and to reconnect with old friends.

Lucy tells Ned, she pledged her vote to Valentin because he backed Deception. Ned says, things can change, and suggests she go with him, and ELQ will back her in case Valentin pulls out. She says, it’s tempting, but where was he when she was running all over town, desperate? He was nowhere to be found, but Valentin was, and came up with the bucks. She feels it necessary to keep her word and honor her commitment. He says, while turning her back on his family. Edward always supported her, even when her reputation was in the gutter. His grandfather was fond of her, and that’s the thanks he gets. She’s a traitor to the family and Edward’s memory. Sasha tells Ned, enough. Leave her alone.

Olivia tells Robert, she might have glossed over a few details, and Robert says, Ned doesn’t know she’s in Monte Carlo. She says, if she tries to explain about Holly’s memorial, Ned will think she’s lost her mind. They had a huge fight, and haven’t even made up from that one yet. Robert says he hasn’t called Anna because he doesn’t want to deal with the endless lectures on acceptance, closure, and other flotsam. He gets a call, and says, bloody hell. Olivia asks where it’s from, and he says, nowhere good.

Britt tells Franco, as much as it pains her to agree with her mother on anything, people in this hospital, in this town – she flashes back to sleeping with Julian, and letting him know she’s aware of him working with Brad to hide Sonny’s grandson from him – feel justified to throw every possible transgression into the faces of anyone they consider an outsider. Franco says he’s had every transgression thrown in his face; that doesn’t give him the right to be a bully to people he works with. It doesn’t give her the right either. Elizabeth and Nikolas join them, and Elizabeth asks, what’s going on? Franco says he was just laying down the law for the new Chief of Staff. Nikolas says, Chief of Staff. Really? Britt says, Prince Cassadine, the guy who faked his own death – twice. She asks Franco where they were. She was trying to remember what he did at the hospital. He says he runs the art therapy program, and she says, right. She was just reviewing their operational budget, and the board gave her the go-ahead to downsize or discontinue any non-essential programs. Art therapy might just fill the bill. She suggests they discuss it to see if GH still needs his services.

Britt follows Julian, and says she was wondering how long it would take for them to run into each other.

Sasha says Ned is getting angry and losing control, but he has no one to blame but his own family, who sold their stock in the first place. Lucy tells Sasha, she couldn’t have said it better. She loved being a Quartermaine, and loved Edward, but he was tough, shrewd, and absurdly practical. He would have understood why she did what she did. Ned agrees he would have. He’s sorry for lashing out. Her 1% only mattered because the family members who held the other 50% sold out. She says, apology accepted. She’s sorry for the setback, but it’s temporary; they always bounce back. They’ve lost the company before, and the Quartermaines have always gotten it back. Speaking of companies, she’s got to go to an important meeting. She tells Sasha that she’ll see her tomorrow. Ta! She leaves, and Ned says he’s sorry for unloading like that. Sasha says he needed to vent; it’s understandable. He can’t be mad at Brook, and Lucy was the next best thing. Ned says he was furious that Brook sold her stock, and deeply hurt, but he doesn’t care now. He just wants his daughter back.

Brook says Mike looks like he’s sleeping, and Jason says, his breathing is slower. She says Mike treated her like gold. Even when she was scared that her career was stuck in reverse, he offered her nothing but encouragement. She thanks him, and says, she’ll always be his biggest fan.

Robert tells Olivia, the call Holly made was from a casino in Monte Carlo, and she asks if he has something more specific, or do they just throw a rock? He says it’s a casino owned by Cassandra Pearce, and she says she thought Cassandra was dead. He says, the casino lives on, and she asks if the clientele is nouveau riche, Eurotrash, or smugglers and thieves. He says, all of the above. She says, if Holly is there, she could be in danger. He says he’s going to get her out, but Olivia says the Bureau denied him back up. He can’t run in all by his lonesome. He says he’s not going to run in guns blazing; they don’t like that kind of thing. He’s going in cold. She says, alone and unarmed? and he says, that’s the plan. She says he has a new plan. She’s going with him.

Nina tells Jax that Ava and Silas met there; that’s how Kiki came to be. He says they don’t have to stay, and she says she was angry for a long time, but Silas and Kiki are gone now. She and Ava made their peace, so the only person she blames is her mother. She’s the one who paid Ava to have the affair in the first place. He asks why her mother would do that, and Nina says she hated Silas, and hated the fact Nina was having a child who would be next in line for an inheritance. When Nina found out about the affair, she became hysterical about Silas cheating on her. Her mother said she was giving her an injection to calm her down, but it caused a miscarriage. Her mother botched the dosage, and she lost 20 years of her life. Jax says he’s sorry, and she says the only link she has to her child is a receipt for a woman named Phyllis Caulfield.

Robert tells Olivia, that’s so not happening, and she wonders if she has to ask his permission. He says he can’t have her there; she’s a civilian. She says, last she checked, he was too. If he shows up at the blackjack table with no date, he’ll be made as WSB, and it will be the end of him and Holly. She can create a diversion, and he can scope all he wants. He says, okay. She can be sweet, sexy, and divert everybody, but when he tells her to get out, she has to go, no questions asked. Is that clear? She says, crystal. She says she’ll meet him back there. She’s got to get a dress, so she can mix in with the high rollers. He should probably get a tux.

Ned tells Sasha, his wife wanted to visit her son, and he argued with her. Even worse, he accused Brook of selling out the family, and kicked her out. Then she was viciously attacked. Sasha thinks he needs to discuss that with Brook, and asks if he wants her to put in a good word for him, and broker peace.

Michael says he told Mike about Wiley; he’s home safe. He took all the craziness with Nelle in stride, and was smiling this morning. He’s an amazing kid, and it wouldn’t have ended so good without Mike. Michael flashes back to thanking Mike for helping with Wiley’s lunch. Mike says he had experience. At Wiley’s age, Michael was no picnic. Wiley is a little less stubborn. Michael says he still has a lot to learn, and Mike says, they all do. He wasn’t a great dad back in the day, but he’s learning to be one now. Michael’s got a head start on him. He’s seen how Wiley loosened Michael up, putting him in touch with happiness and joy in the world. Michael has as big a heart as anyone Mike has known. It will make him the best dad any kid could ask for. At the hospital, Michael tells Mike, he’s a better man for having known him.

Franco asks, what just happened? and Elizabeth says, it was nothing he did. Her hours were cut, and Epiphany was demoted to administration. Felix says they’re vital to the hospital, and she says it was the Chairman’s decision. He says, the Chairman will be sorry. He’s going to find Amy and Deanna and raise hell. He jets, and Doc says, they’re marginalizing and firing all the people who know the history of the hospital; the people who know how things work. So he’ll have free reign to make changes that benefit him. Britt is just a hatchet woman.

Britt asks if Julian is sick; he’s not on the staff. He says he was checking to see if Alexis was at an AA meeting. Neil just passed away. She says she did hear that, and he says, Alexis is taking it hard. He tells her to excuse him, but she grabs his arm, and asks if he’s avoiding her because she left him high and dry after their more than one night stand. Or is it because she knows he was in on the baby switch that cost Sonny more than a year with his grandson?

Sasha goes to Brook’s room, but sees an empty bed. Ned follows her in, and asks, where’s his daughter?

Jason tells Michael, stay with Mike. He’ll take Brook back. Brook says, bye, Mike. I love you. Michael sits next to Mike’s bed.

Elizabeth tells Franco, he’s just collateral damage, but he says, it’s partly on him. He wasn’t exactly receptive to Britt extending an olive branch. She says they should go home, and figure out how to run their household with their paychecks cut. Franco’s phone dings, and he says, it could be a possible commission. He needs to check it out. He leaves, and Nikolas walks over to Elizabeth. He says, maybe he should offer the board more money, and she says she appreciates it, but it’s too late. And doesn’t he think Ava might object? He says, Ava thought the hospital was worth saving, but she doesn’t matter; this is more important. She asks if this isn’t what got them into trouble the last time. Ava calls Nikolas, and he says, what? She says, hello to him too. Don’t worry; she’ll be brief. She wanted him to know she’s not coming home.

Julian asks if Britt is trying to get him killed, and she says, relax. She sees no reason to give him up to the wrath of Sonny. She’s just an interested observer. He says he doesn’t like snakes, even appealing ones, and she says, too bad he’s now living with someone in town who knows his deepest, darkest secrets. Felix listens from around the corner.

Brook comes back, and Ned says, there she is. He doesn’t have to get the Commissioner on the line. Sasha asks where she’s been, and Brook says she was visiting Mike. He’s not doing too well. Sasha says she’s so sorry. She can come back. Brook wonders why Sasha and Ned are together, and Sasha says, it’s obviously not a good time. Feel better. She leaves, and Brook says, clearly Ned wanted Brook to act as a go-between to clear the way and make peace. He says Sasha mentioned they had a meeting, and graciously let him tag along. Brook laughs, and says, did she? Ned says he wants Brook to know how sorry he is for what happened, and he’s there for her. She says she doesn’t want his sympathy. He was clear that he had no time for her problems. Maybe he should focus on his own.

Olivia fixes Robert’s tie, and he says, thanks. She’s a good friend. He tells her that he’ll get the car, and they can meet downstairs. She tells him that she’s going to put some essentials in her new clutch, and he says she might want to give old Neddy a call. When he leaves, she calls Ned, but gets voicemail. She says she and Robert will be staying a couple more days. She’ll explain when she sees him face to face. She loves him. She grabs her purse and runs out, leaving her phone behind.

Ned tells Brook, he didn’t come to fight. He came to ask her to come home; come back to the family. She says he slammed the door in her face because of some stupid ELQ shares. He just wants her back because she got hurt, but she’s getting better all the time. Now go. He leaves, but forgets his phone. It rings, and Brook picks it up. She laughs, saying, he was dorky enough to use her birthday. Brook listens to Olivia’s message, that it will be a few more days before she and Robert are home.

Jax says, what Nina’s mother did was unbelievably cruel, but Nina says she should be grateful it backfired. She didn’t miscarry, and her mother hired a private staff, and ran interference with Silas. She says, oh my God. She just remembered why she knows that name.

Nikolas asks if Ava is going to bother telling him where she’s going. She says she’s borrowing Sonny’s cabin in the woods for a couple of days. He says, she’s staying there alone? Isn’t she afraid of bears or something? She says she’ll be perfectly safe, and he says, be careful. She says he almost sounds jealous, and Nikolas remembers Franco telling Elizabeth, it could be a possible commission.

Jason tells Elizabeth, he just dropped Brook off, and she thanks him. He asks if everything is all right, and she says, not really. The new Chief of Staff is Britt Westbourne. He says, Faison’s daughter? and she says, job courtesy of Cyrus. They’ve cut her hours, demoted Epiphany, and are canceling art therapy. Doc thinks they’re getting rid of the old guard; anyone who knows how the hospital is run. He says, it makes sense. It’s no secret that she and Epiphany are close to him and Sonny. Cyrus is trying to keep them away from what he’s planning.

Britt asks if Julian feels like taking a former friend with benefits out for a drink, but he says, some other time. She says, his loss. She leaves, and Doc sees Felix. He asks how it went with Amy and Deanna, but Felix says he hasn’t talked to them. Something came up. He heard Britt and Julian talking. Apparently, they’re bed buddies. Doc says,  he had no idea, and Felix says, it’s always good to know more about the Britch than she knows about him. Doc asks if Felix and Elizabeth don’t have a loaded history with Britt, and Felix says, that’s an understatement. He understands Britt was always a schemer, petty, and vindictive, but working with Cyrus is a whole other level. Doc says Britt may just be willing to look the other way, but it’s Cyrus’s intentions that are less than noble.

Sonny asks how Mike is, and Michael says, Mike’s breathing is slower. Sonny says, it won’t be much longer.

Tomorrow, Ned wants the woman who attacked Brook to be brought to justice, Brook asks Portia if she’ll be able to sing again, and Dr. Kirk has bad news for Dante.

Below Deck Mediterranean

At the bar, Bugs dances with Alex, Aesha flirts with Rob, and snakeface Malia raises the roof. Jess tells Rob to get out of her face. In her interview, Jess says she’s not a jealous person. She’s a product of divorce. She’s not the best in relationships. She ends up being cheated on or taken advantage of. Bugs and Alex kiss, Aesha goes outside, and Rob is bummed. Bugs tells Aesha not to be sad, and Aesha says she’s homesick. The crew gets in a couple of taxis, Bugs covers the camera, and Jess tries to drink a beer. Everyone stumbles out. Rob asks for Malia’s help with Jess, and Bugs falls on her face, but recovers quickly. Tom links arms with the girls, and calls it a chain gang. Rob wonders, WTF? Tom says, Jess is a powerful woman, and Rob says he changed his flight for her, like going to Bali is a hardship. In Rob’s interview, he says he and Aesha are like brother and sister. They have banter and playfulness, but nothing more. It takes him back to the times he had to prove he loved someone, and triggers him. They stumble onto the boat.

Rob ignores Jess, and she says he wants to play games, and she’s not playing this sh*t with him. He says, maybe they’re not meant to be. Jess walks silently through the crew mess, and Bugs and Alex wonder what happened. Malia and Tom try to get busy, while Bugs raids the fridge. Rob sees Jess, and she says, hello? He doesn’t respond, and she says, really? Jess goes back to the cabin, slams the door shut, and cries. Alex tells Bugs that he’s going to bed, and asks if she wants to come with? but that’s a no.

It’s 7 am, and my head hurts just watching them. Jess tells Rob that he ignored her, and he says he’d like to take time to breathe. She says he doesn’t care what she’s saying, and he says he wants to take space where he can breathe. Jess thinks they should talk, and says he keeps walking away. He says his intention is clear, and she says hers is too. She says maybe she’s not enough for him, and he says maybe he’s not enough for her. He showed her his intentions. In Aesha’s interview, she says, on a scale of one to ten, she’s twenty hung over. She’s like a beautiful crystal glass. She shatters easily.

Captain Sandy tells Bugs, they’re going to Palma, and asks how she feels. Bugs says she fell on her face last night. She was wearing high shoes on cobblestone; it was bad. The captain radios, all crew ready for departure, and in her interview, says she wants to give them a break. She’s going to let the deck team just get off the dock, and then get some rest. They have a quick turnaround, and she needs the crew rested. They head out, and she tells them, good job. Now relax.

Tom asks Malia what she thinks about Rob and Jess, but she doesn’t understand what’s going on. She says she and Tom are jiggy with it. Captain Sandy calls Bugs, Tom, and Malia for the preference sheet meeting. She tells them, it’s charter 8, and the primary is Eric, who retired at 59, after developing a college prep company. He likes to vacation with his friends. Malia reads that he likes his coffee and women hot. On day one, they want a game of ultimate frisbee with the crew. Bugs reads that they want a Spanish lunch, and a naughty game night. In Bugs’s interview, she says she likes the fact that Aesha rolled up her sleeves, and got going. Along with Jess’s new and improved attitude, she has a sense of realization that they can breathe. Alex asks Rob, what happened? Rob isn’t sure, and Alex thinks Rob and Jess are feeling each other out; getting to know the real person. Rob says, maybe he was wrong. Alex says he’s got to figure out if it’s real or it was just a moment. If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. Bugs hugs Jess, and she cries.

Bugs asks Jess, what’s wrong? and asks her to come sit in the salon. Jess says Rob doesn’t want to talk about it, and she’s frustrated. She wants to figure sh*t out right now. In her interview, Bugs says, boat romances that turn bad affect the entire crew. She’s dated guys on boats before, and it’s never gone down well. She tells Jess, it’s only a few hours before charter, and she wants to get this resolved asap. She tells Rob that he and Jess need to talk it out. She leads him to the salon, and says they’re not coming out until it’s resolved. Rob wonders how they got to this point, and Jess say she feels like a piece of him shut down and detached. He says, it’s hasn’t, and he thinks she’s steamed from him having a conversation with Aesha, and she’s holding on to it. Jess insists she’s not, and says the energy is off, and he’s away from her. He tells her go ahead and feel that way, but he’s telling her the truth. She says she wants to be in the space they were a few days ago, and he agrees. He says they have to be mindful, and she says she’s trying. He says, him too. In Rob’s interview, he says he wants to be open, and experience things. He wants the fairytale thing to work, and for Jess to reciprocate. He wants to believe she loves him. Jess tells him that she does. Omg. They’re making this so much more difficult than it should be or needs to be.

Aesha thanks Malia for helping her onto the boat. Malia asks why Aesha was crying. Was it just a drunk cry? Aesha says she’s homesick, and when she gets drunk, she gets there. Malia says when she thinks of her brother, she feels the same way. In Aesha’s interview, she says she wants to go home and live a normal life for a while. Have a car, and a bedroom, and to hang her clothes up. She tells Malia, they’re all a mess.

Captain Sandy says, it’s time to shake it off, and get to work. Malia says they play hard and work hard. In her interview, she says she wants to prove herself to Captain Sandy. She probably feels as much pressure having Tom on as Tom does. Tom tells her the spatula is his arch nemesis. He hands it to Malia, explaining the handle comes off. The crew gets the boat ready. Aesha tells Jess that she doesn’t know why she’s so hung over. Jess says Rob thought she was jealous, even though she tried to tell him otherwise. In Aesha’s interview, she feels like if they’re having fights this early on, there’s no way it’s going to last. It’s no way to have a relationship. Jess is scared it’s downhill from there. Bugs the quicker they move, the quicker they finish. She says she’s putting Jess on the bridge, and helps her up.

Malia tells Rob to focus on the line, and explains how to deal with it. In her interview, she says he knows how to get a line across, but she thinks he’s distracted and not focusing. She has no time to supervise him. A woman in the industry who fails or comes up short, gets it harder. They arrive at Port Adriano, and begin to dock, but Captain Sandy says she’s lost the bow pressure, and the engines are gone. An alarm goes off, and in the captain’s interview, she says they’ve lost all power, and without the bow thruster, she can’t control the boat. They’re going to hit or run over something. The engineer says he’s sorting it out. In her interview, the captain says when they swing into the slip, the bow swings, and she can’t control it. The engineer has to reset the breaker. If he can’t, their chances of hitting something are greater than not. The engineer says, the bow thruster is back online. Malia says, that’s one scary feeling for a captain. They dock, and all is well again. Rob gets the line thrown right, and Malia says they’re in a great position.

Everyone gets ready for the guests. Aesha calls brother Jared, and says she feels horrible. She cries, and in her interview, she says in her five years working in yachting, she’s lived a super fast-paced lifestyle. At home, people are getting married, and she has two nieces she doesn’t know. She’s struggling to enjoy it, but wants to see them. Rob and Alex chest bump, and Rob says he farted. Jess and Rob hug and kiss, and I wonder… Bugs tells Aesha to do beds with Jess, and realizes no provisions have arrived yet. Tom wonders where they are, and the delivery van pulls up. Tom says he ordered two dozen muscles, and digs through the coolers for them. In his interview, he says he ordered two kilos of fresh muscles, and got one kilo of frozen muscles already cooked. Between fresh and frozen, one is for people who have to taste buds. Bugs talks to the delivery person, who talks to the supplier, who insists they got the right order. Tom says, bleepity bleep, bleep, and Rob complains not about people not flushing the toilet. Tom weighs the muscles, and tells Malia that they’re making him out to be a liar. He sends a photo, and the fish company apologizes, bringing more muscles free of charge. Malia gives them to Tom, who grumbles, they should have gotten it right the first time. Effing morons. What good is an apology; he doesn’t care. In his interview, he says, the shipment is time sensitive, and you don’t get second chances. He can’t afford this again.

Primary Eric arrives wearing a shirt that says Almost Single on the front, and Almost Married on the back. Alex says that’s Rob and Jessica’s relationship in a nutshell. The crew welcomes the guests, and Captain Sandy says she’s excited. They have a great crew. Bugs will show them inside, and then they’ll take off. The guests have a champagne toast to being almost single and almost married. Bugs gives the tour, and Alex wonders if there’s a body in one of the suitcases. Tom makes a fruit plate. Eric wonders why there’s no mirror over the bed, and Bugs says, they sound like a good time. She can tell. Aesha says the color of Jess’s hair is like a cat, and in Jess’s interview, she wonders, WTF? as we all do. She asks what that even means.

Alex tells Rob to be mindful to loosen the cross line because of the tension on the other one. They move out, and Captain Sandy says, well done. Eric wonders if they should wave to the people on the dock, because it’s good luck. Or it used to be on The Love Boat. Taking a cue from Captain Lee, the captain blows horn to startle them. Eric asks if they’re doing ultimate frisbee, and Bugs says they are, and when they come back, they’ll have a tapas lunch. Aesha shows the guests her foot tattoo, and Bugs serves more champagne. Eric says, it’s the best charter ever. Bugs radios Malia, telling her there’s ultimate frisbee before lunch, which is at 3 pm. Aesha reads a preference sheet, saying, brownie, female, no nuts. She thinks for a minute, then says she gets the joke. Jess and Rob are told they’re going to shore with the guests, as well as Alex and Aesha. In Malia’s interview, she says she wants to help Tom. Being in her position, she’s put pressure on herself to make everything go at the same time. It’s a hard juggle. Bugs suggests they make the game interesting, and says, if the guests lose they have to wear Speedos. Eric says, if they win, the stews have to serve in bikinis. Bugs says, they’re not losing, but in the interview, she says, did she just do that?

Malia says they’re ready to go, and Bugs tells them, good luck. Malia makes two trips, bringing the guests and crew to shore. Aesha walks with Rob and Jess, and says this is them in Bali soon. Can she come and visit? In her interview, Jess says, no. Just no. Bugs sets up decorations of giant fans and Spanish hats. Captain Sandy tells Malia, nice work docking. In Aesha’s interview, she says, they just play normal frisbee in New Zealand. In America, everything is ultimate. The score is Guests 2; Crew 0. In Bugs’s interview, she says, yachting is an intimate environment, and gives you a warped in perception of people. She takes some selfies of herself and Alex wearing hats. In Tom’s interview, he says, the first few days he was nervous. We flash back to that, and he says he wants to be the best he can be, and puts pressure on himself. He knows he can do it. If he doesn’t, why be a chef?

The final score is Guests 4; Crew 1. In Jess’s interview, she says, lost the bet; pay off the debt. Alex radios Malia, telling her, ready for pick up. Back on the boat, he apologizes for disappointing the crew. The guests are served tapas, and put on moustaches and hats. Tom says he’s too tired for this.

Aesha tells Tom, the guests are loving it. A guest asks if the crew wants to learn jiu-jitsu, saying he’s a master teacher. He lifts Aesha, then tells her to try, and she flips him over. I’m not sure how much he was helping her with that though. Aesha says, it’s so fun, and he asks if Jess wants to try. A guest goes to the galley looking for cucumbers, and Captain Sandy radios Bugs. There’s no response, so she tries Jess, who’s busy in jiu-jitsu land. She goes to get Tom in his cabin, saying, the client wants cucumbers with olive oil and salt. In his interview, Tom says he takes a 15 minute break, and if something simple can’t be achieved without waking the chef, they have a bigger problem. Just figure it out. He tells Malia, this is a joke. Aesha says, sorry, and he asks if she has no ability to slice a cucumber. Tom bitches, and tells Aesha to quit apologizing. She says, it’s not her fault. She promises she had nothing to do with it. In his interview, he says he’s not pissed at her; he’s pissed at the situation. Aesha serves the guests, who ask for an avocado. She goes into the refrigerator to get one, and tells Tom that she can do it. He says, give him the effing avocado, and asks what her effing problem is. She says she has nothing to do with it. She doesn’t know what’s going on, but calm down. She asks why he’s giving her attitude when she has nothing to do with it? Tom complains about her feeling the need to apologize. She says she’s sorry for him; she’s not apologizing. In her interview, she says, WTF is going on? She literally went from the best time to having an Englishman being a right effing a-hole. She’s over it.

Tom slices salmon. Aesha asks to talk to Bugs, and says she had an argument with Tom.

Next time, a naughty evening; Malia tells Jess and Rob, the boat isn’t a couples retreat; Eric gives dinner invites instead of a tip; and Captain Sandy tells Malia, stay out of the galley, stay away from Tom, let him do his job, and if he wants to walk off, then let him

🛣 And It’s Only Monday…

It’s been a long week already, and I have to jet to edit my weekly article for https://mupoentertainment.com/theresa-krakauskas/. So until Tyler Perry tells us who has and who doesn’t, stay safe, stay well, and stay away from unstable chefs. They have knives.