Tag Archives: January Thaw

January 24, 2022 – Luke’s Past Comes Back To Haunt Laura, No Cooked Fish On Deck, Summer Highlights, Kwame’s 4-1-1, Memorial Guest, Million Dollar Goodbye & Thaw

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

At The Savoy, Portia says, there he is. She stopped by to say hi, and no Curtis. Curtis gives her a kiss, and says he was at Luke’s memorial. It gave him some food for thought. She says, care to share? and he says he was thinking about Marshall’s cardiac incident, and what it would have meant if he had died. If Curtis had thrown away the only chance he got to know him.

Ned and Olivia are at the MetroCourt with Leo, and Ned says, now? She says, no time like the present, and Ned tells Leo, now that they’re done eating, he and Leo’s mother would like to talk to him about something. Leo asks if he’s in trouble, but Ned says, no, and Olivia asks why he would think that. He says, they’re wearing nice clothes, which means it’s an important day, and Ned says he’s right about that. They just wanted to tell him that they’re having a wedding ceremony at the house in a few days. Leo asks, why? and Olivia says, she and Ned are already married, but they want to have another wedding for their family and friends. Ned says, to show their commitment to their family, and there’s another very important reason. Olivia says, Ned would like to officially adopt Leo, so Ned can be his father. Leo says, but Ned’s not his real father.

At the bar, Austin leaves a voicemail for Maxie. He knows he’s said it before, but he’s saying it again; he’d do just about anything to get Louise back to her. To that end, could she give him a call, so they can coordinate their trip to Pawtuck tomorrow? That’d be great; thanks. Britt walks in, and sits next to Austin. She says she didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but oops, she guesses she did. She asks if he’d like to join her for a drink, and tell her about him and Maxie.

Brook tells Chase, Bailey finally went down. Fingers crossed that she sleeps the night. He says, if she does wake up, he’ll be happy to rock her back to sleep. Brook’s always telling him that Bailey like his singing. Brook says, she does. It’s really… She flashes back on Chase saying he could never be with her, and he asks if she was going to say it’s really a good idea. She says, no, she was going to say it’s unnecessary. She can handle Bailey fine on her own. The doorbell rings, and Brook opens the door to Maxie, who says she’s there for her daughter.

Valentin sees Victor at Charlie’s bar, and says he’s glad Victor has the time to meet with him. He sits down, and Victor says he was going to settle his tab, but he’s more than happy to stick around and spend some time with his son. What is Valentin drinking? Valentin tells the bartender, vodka on the rocks, and Victor orders the same, saying, Valentin does their Russian heritage proud, but Valentin says, he enjoyed vodka when he didn’t know he had a drop of Cassadine blood in him. Victor gives a toast in Russian, and they clink glasses. Valentin says he got an interesting phone call from Dr. Gatlin-Holt today. He said Victor stopped by his office. Victor says he went there to see Valentin. He’s glad to hear Valentin and the good doctor are working together to retaliate against Brook. Of course (🍷) that does make his offer of assistance a little redundant. Valentin says, he likes to keep his options open, and he does value Victor’s expertise. Victor laughs, and tells him, feel free to drop the act. He knows exactly why Valentin is spending time with him.

On the Haunted Star, Laura looks at Luke’s portrait, and says, goodbye, my love. She blows the portrait a kiss, when a woman, dressed entirely in black, including a veil, walks in. She stands in front of Laura, and removes her veil. Laura says, Jennifer Smith, and Jennifer says, fate has been so cruel to take Luke away from them, and even crueler in delaying her to say goodbye. She can’t even tell Laura how much she hated missing the memorial service of their dear ex-husband. Spencer asks if Jennifer was once married to Luke, and Laura says, for five minutes. What is she doing here? What does she want?

On deck, Carly looks up at the sky, and says, Luke, are you out there? Sonny puts his hand on hers, and says he knows they’re feeling a lot tonight. There’s a lot they need to say to each other, but he just wants her to know, the only thing that’s important… Come home.

Oliva says, Ned loves Leo very much, and Ned says, remember, they discussed this last year, that there are many different ways to parent. Some kids have a mom and a dad, some have two moms or two dads, some have stepparents, and sometimes, only one parent. Julian will always be Leo’s biological father. Does he know what that means? Leo nods, and Ned says, he’d like very much to be the father who raises Leo, who makes Leo a part of his family too.

Maxie says, if anyone asks, she had to give Brook some very important Deception research. Chase wonders why anyone would ask, and Maxie says, because Peter followed her to Texas, and then to Nixon Falls. She doesn’t care if he’s in jail awaiting trial; he could have a henchman following her. Brook says, if someone is following her, the last thing she wants is for them to see her leaving the house with Bailey, and Maxie says, she didn’t mean she was going to take Bailey; she just wants to see her. Is she upstairs? Brook says, Maxie doesn’t want to wake her. She’s been having trouble at bedtime, adjusting to a new place. Maxie says, don’t tell her what her daughter needs.

Jennifer says, and who is this handsome young man? and Spencer says, Spencer Cassadine. She says, ooh, a Cassadine, and he asks why she’s there bothering his grandmother. Jennifer says, that’s so lovely; he’s protecting Laura. She must be so proud. Laura says, she is, and Jennifer says, but clearly, she neglected to tell young Spencer about a very substantial part of her history. Laura says, here we go with the histrionics, and Spencer asks how Jennifer is part of Laura’s history. Laura says, Jennifer is Frank Smith’s daughter, and Jennifer says, before his death, her father – may he rest – was a major figure in organized crime. Major. Laura says, Luke worked for Frank Smith, and Frank ordered Luke to marry Jennifer, and on their wedding day, she and Luke ran off together. Jennifer says, please, let’s choose to remember the good times. Now why did no one tell her about the memorial service for her incredible Luke? Laura says, because she wasn’t invited. Now please, return to whatever rock she crawled out from under.

Carly says she and Sonny both know it’s not as simple as just coming home. He says he lost too much time with her already. He doesn’t want to waste another second, but she says, so much hasn’t been addressed. He admitted that he fell in love with Nina. She accepts that it was through no fault of his own. She gets it, but she’s so angry and hurt that he didn’t think she was strong enough to handle the truth after Jason died. He should have told her before. He says, but there was always a crisis, and he wanted things to settle. She says, the anger, the hurt, the betrayal, that’s all stuff she could get past and get over, but the difficult part, the part they’re not saying out loud, is that deep down, she knows he can’t just fall out of love with Nina. His head knows Nina lied to him and hurt his family, but his heart doesn’t. She doesn’t expect him to be able to turn off his feelings at the drop of a hat, but if he needs time to get over Nina, she can’t be around him. She can’t watch him nurse a broken heart for someone else. She was furious not getting the full story, but anger isn’t new to them. What’s impossible is her trying to share a bed with him while he’s trying to get over another woman. He says, it’s the same as her trying to get over falling in love with Jason, and she says, it’s not the same thing. She told him everything after a couple of days. It wasn’t weeks and it wasn’t months. Let’s talk about how she found out about him and Nina. At least when she didn’t tell Sonny, she was trying to protect him. Sonny says, he was trying to protect her, and she says, and Nina. He was trying to protect them both, and that’s heartbreaking because she’s his wife. She thinks they were so happy that he’d come home, they eased back in their old life, and maybe they shouldn’t have. He says he still loves her. Nothing has changed, unless it has for her.

Jennifer makes a drink behind the bar, and Laura says she’s sure Jennifer has heard about her half-brother Cyrus Renault, and his lucrative business in the northwest. It’s actually her territory, isn’t it? Jennifer says, the business was always her father’s domain, and Laura takes the drink from Jennifer, saying, excuse you. The last time they met, Jennifer kidnapped her son, so forgive her if she doesn’t take Jennifer at her word. She takes a sip of the drink, and Jennifer says, fine. She did not come all this way just to pay her respects to Luke. Laura is right. She did have an ulterior motive for coming to Port Charles.

Victor says, Valentin’s sudden enthusiasm for destroying Brook and spending time with him rather came out of the blue. Valentin asks if he’s been enthusiastic, and Victor says, Anna has been looking at him rather crossly lately; curious as to his future plans, no doubt. Since Valentin will do anything for her, Victor is sure Valentin would ingratiate himself to Victor on her behalf. Valentin says, Victor assumes everyone is as calculating as he is, but Victor says, not everyone. In fact, he finds most people reckless, random, and sloppy. All the more reason to appreciate Valentin’s considerable skills at strategy. Besides, Valentin needs to understand that Victor isn’t the least bit bothered by Valentin’s ulterior motives. He’s just happy to spend time with his son any way he can.

Maxie bends over the crib, and says, okay, Louise; mommy’s here. Louise/Bailey starts to cry, and Maxie tells her, don’t cry; it’s okay. Don’t be upset. She cries louder, and Brook comes in. Maxie tells Louise not to cry, and Brook tells Louise, it’s okay. Bailey’s here in her crib, her mobile is here, and her nightlight is here, and I’m here; she’s okay. Bailey/Louise quiets down, and Brook tells her that she’s okay to drift off to dreamland. That’s her girl. Maxie leaves the room.

Britt and Austin sit at a table, and he says, please, whatever ideas she has about him and Maxie, could she just let them go? His focus right now is helping Maxie get her baby back. Britt says, the baby he delivered. If she hadn’t been on the run with Jason, she would have been there to help Maxie. He says, she would have delivered Louise? and she says, Maxie was so worried about what would happen to Louise if Peter got his hands on her, she was prepared to give her baby up for adoption, and let Peter believe she was dead. But she wasn’t there to deliver the baby, and the rest is terrible history. Her brother and his crazy nurse had their own plans for the baby.

Marshall comes into The Savoy, and Portia asks if he shouldn’t be home resting. He says he’s glad he ran into her. He wanted to thank her for helping with his episode last night. She supposes he’s really there to see Curtis, and says, she knows it’s not her place to get involved, but it seems to her, the way Marshall goes about things could be perceived as forward. Curtis asked him for space. Curtis joins them, and tells her, it’s okay. He asked Marshall to stop by.

Olivia says, when Ned adopts Leo, Brook will officially be his sister, and Tracy will really be his grandmother. Leo says, and his name will be Quartermaine, like Olivia. She says, if that’s what he’d like, and Ned says, if Leo still wants him to be his father. Leo nods, and Ned tells Olivia that he’s going to give the lawyers a call, and make sure everything is all set. She says she loves him, and he says he loves her too. He kisses the tops of both their heads, and leaves.

Victor says he could only protect Valentin from a distance when Helena was alive, and Mikkos. Now, finally, he can be a father to Valentin face-to-face. Valentin asks if this means Victor will be at his Little League games and parent/teacher conferences, and Victor says he won’t rest until their family is intact again. They’re going to need each other for what’s coming next. Valentin says, the details of which Victor doesn’t want to share with him, and Victor says, all in due time. Valentin says then he guesses they don’t have anything else to say to one another, but he will get the tab. He takes out his money, and there’s a piece of paper with it. Valentin looks at it, and Victor asks what it is.

Maxie says she feels like such an idiot, but Chase says she’s not, handing her a box of tissues. Maxie says her daughter is old enough to recognize her name, but her name is not Bailey; it’s Louise. And it’s not Maxie’s voice that’s comforting her or helping her fall asleep; it’s Brook’s. That’s how long she’s been away from her mother. Chase says, this is all going to be over soon. Peter will be found guilty of the crimes he’s committed, and be locked away for the rest of his life. Then Maxie’s baby can return home to her. Maxie asks, how soon is soon? A trial could take months. In the meantime, she’s missing every major milestone of Louise’s life. She doesn’t even know who Maxie is. He says, but she will know who Maxie is. Until then, Maxie’s just got to carry a piece of Louise in her heart. She says he has no idea how true that is.

Valentin tells Victor, he knows Bailey isn’t his daughter, but he can’t seem to let go of this. He unfolds the paper, and it’s Bailey/Louise’s sonogram.

Maxie says, ever since she had to give up her daughter, she’s carried Louise’s sonogram in her purse. She puts it on the table, and we see it next to Valentin’s copy.

Carly says, has her love for Sonny changed? How can he ask her that? The only thing she asked for is space and time, and he owes her that. He says, there’s no need. They’ve got to be together. They’ve got to go on an adventure. They’ve got to recommit. Whatever she wants, just say it. He’s going to tell her everyday that he loves her, and everything is going to be fine; it’s going to go back the way it was. She asks if he’s okay, and he says, he’s not okay. He just got back, and his wife isn’t home. He’s going to show her how much he loves her. He leaves, and she says, she only asked for time.

Jennifer tells Laura that she has something to say to her, and Laura says she’s listening. Jennifer says she’s sorry. She’s sorry for all the terrible things she did, and the pain she caused Laura and her family over the years. Laura asks where this is coming from, and Jennifer says she’s had a lot of time to look at herself over the last few years, and her obsession about Luke wasn’t even about Luke at all; it was about herself and her thinking she deserved everything she wanted. She treated Laura horribly because of her sense of entitlement. Sonny walks in, and Jennifer says, look what the cat dragged in. Hello, Sonny.

Valentin tells Victor, he carried this with him the whole time Brook was expecting, after Bailey was born, and he’s still carrying it. Victor says, may I? and looks at it, noting the patient ID on the back. Valentin says he probably should throw it away, but he can’t shake the feeling that one day, he and Bailey are going to have a relationship of some kind. When that day comes, he wants to have that, but if he doesn’t let it go, he doesn’t know how he’s supposed to heal. Victor suggests he hold onto it for Valentin.  

Brook says, Bailey is out like a light, and Maxie says she has to get going. She has to meet her mom. Her mom and Anna are insisting on getting a lead on Louise. They kept pushing her, so she finally agreed to go to Pawtuck with Austin to remember anything that happened when Louise – air quote – went missing – end air quote. She says she can cancel, but Chase says he doesn’t think that’s a good idea. It’ll raise more questions if she bails on her mom and Anna. Brook says, plus, if Austin goes alone, there’s the X factor. Maxie has to go and control the questions and spin the narrative. Maxie asks, what choice does she have, other than telling Austin the truth?

Austin asks if Maxie told Britt who she wanted to adopt Louise, but Ned approaches their table, and says, sorry to interrupt. He just wanted to give them an update on Leo. He’s seeing the specialist Austin recommended. Austin says, great; Olivia mentioned something about that. How does Leo feel about the sessions? Ned says, so far, so good, and Austin says, he thinks, in the long run Leo will be grateful for what they’re doing. Ned says he’s the one who’s grateful, and he wanted to thank Austin. Austin put Ned’s son first, knowing what it could cost him, and he knows his family didn’t do right by Austin. He’s hoping to rectify that.

Marshall says, by the look on Portia’s face, she’s as surprised as he is that Curtis asked him to come. Surprised and grateful. Curtis says he has to admit, he thought it would take a couple of days, given Marshall might need some time to recover. Either way, he’s glad Marshall is there. He’s been doing some thinking since Marshall was in the hospital, and confided to a friend what Marshall told him about being in hiding. Marshall says, he warned Curtis… but Curtis says he trusts them.  They got to talking, and his friend made him realize he was demanding answers from Marshall could put their family in jeopardy. Marshall says he can see why Curtis would think that, and Curtis says he doesn’t like it, but he’s willing not to push it, for now.

Jennifer says, she was hoping she and Sonny would reconnect when she was in town, and he says, they met once or twice, when he was working for her dad. That was a long time ago. She says, and look how far he’s come. The Five Families zabaglione are down to two. Laura asks Spencer to do her a favor; go out on the deck, and give Doc a call. Tell him they’ve been delayed, but they’ll be home soon. He starts to protest, but she says, from the deck. Now. He leaves, and Jennifer says, the Corinthos as Wu families now run the entire east coast. Her father would be so proud. Sonny says, her father’s dead, and she says, still, his empire could grow if that’s Sonny wanted. He says, what he wants is to take care of his family, not have this conversation, and she says she was just trying to be nice. She has an early flight in the morning, and it’s not like they’ll be able to catch up over breakfast. He says she can go back on his private jet because there’s no use for her here. He doesn’t need any distractions when he’s concentrating on Carly and his family. Laura suggests Jennifer get that drink she wanted, and Jennifer goes back to the bar. Sonny fiddles with his phone, and says, come on, and Laura asks if he’s okay. Sonny turns to look at her, and looks like Jack Nicolson in The Shining.

Carly finds Josslyn in her room, and they hug. Carly says, she’s so happy to see Josslyn, and Josslyn says, she dropped Donna and Avery off at Grandma Bobbie’s, and thought she’d come say hi. Carly says she’s glad, and Josslyn asks how Carly is doing. Grandma Bobbie told her that Sonny was at Luke’s memorial. Carly says, he was, and Josslyn asks if she wants to talk about it, but Carly says she doesn’t, because it’s not appropriate. Josslyn says, who cares? Talk to her about it anyway. Not talking isn’t going to make her any less upset about Sonny, and actually saying how she feels about Sonny out loud may be helpful. Carly says she’s sad, and she’s confused, and she keeps waiting for the Sonny she knows to show up. The one who would be furious that Nina kept Sonny from his family for months. The one who would want her to suffer the way they suffered. But this Sonny is just making excuses, saying he wants to protect Carly, when really, it’s Nina he’s protecting.

Marshall thanks Curtis for his understanding, and they shake hands. He’s going to leave them alone now. He doesn’t want to get in the way of their date night. Portia says, he wasn’t; she was actually just leaving. Curtis says, she was? and she suggests Curtis have a great night with his father. She tells them both, goodnight, gives Curtis a kiss, and leaves. Marshall looks at a bottle on the bar, and Curtis says, a tequila man, is he? Marshall says, yes, sir. He was just noticing the brand; top of the line. Curtis has good taste. Curtis gestures to a table, and Marshall sits down. Curtis brings the bottle over, and sits with him. He says he can’t tell Marshall how many times he was warned organized crime would try to muscle him out of his nightclub, and Marshall asks what he’s trying to say. Curtis tells him, he’s saying he knows there are a lot of grey areas about Marshall’s past. If Marshall got mixed up with some not-so-good people, Curtis knows it might not have been willingly. He’s not saying he gets it, but he’s trying to. Does that make sense? Marshall says, it does.

Laura says, Sonny seems out of sorts; is he okay? He says he’s fine, but starts breathing hard, and leaves. Jennifer says, Laura looks like she needs this more than she does, and hands her the drink. What has Sonny Corinthos so hot and bothered? Laura puts the drink down, and says she doesn’t know, but he’s right about one thing. Jennifer being there isn’t helping anyone; Jennifer least of all. Jennifer says, Luke was cruel to both of them. Laura at least got out from all of that. She needs to know how Laura did it. How did she get the catharsis she needed to reclaim her life? Laura says, don’t look for a catharsis. Life doesn’t always wrap itself up cleanly and neatly and completely; it just doesn’t.  The only way any of us gets any closure, is by closing a chapter and opening the next one. Jennifer thanks Laura, and says she’ll take it to heart. Take care. She leaves, and Laura takes a sip of the drink.

Josslyn says, Carly just wants Sonny to admit he messed up, not tell her all the reasons he kept quiet about his feelings for Nina. Carly says, but in Sonny’s mind, those reasons make sense. He didn’t want to inflict more pain after Jason died, or after Brando and Sasha had to take their baby off life support. Josslyn says, his intentions were good, so Carly’s not allowed to be mad? but Carly says, she’s mad, and she feels justified in her anger. Josslyn says, her too, and Carly says, but justifiable anger’s not going to fix things. Josslyn asks if Carly thinks there is any way to fix things.

Olivia tells Leo that she’s going to say something that may not make sense to him for a while. She had blinders on for a long time. She let her own fears and anxieties get in the way. She wasn’t seeing him for who he really is, every last beautiful side of him. But she sees him now; she really does, every bit. She wants him to know, she’ll never let her fears come first ever again. She loves her little man so much. They hug.

Ned tells Austin that he and Olivia are having a family gathering in a few days at the house, to renew their wedding vows. He’d like Austin to be there, but Austin says he has other plans. Ned says, okay. There will be other family occasions, and he’s hoping maybe Austin changes his mind, and joins them. He leaves, and Austin and Britt look at each other.

Chase and Brook both say, bad idea, and Maxie says, think about it first. Austin already thinks Brook is hiding something from him, even more than lying to Valentin about being Bailey’s father. And this way, they could keep him from asking any more inconvenient questions. Brook says, Maxie… and Maxie says, fine. Brook is right as usual. She’s got to get going. Her mom wants to go over details of their Pawtuck outing. Brook says she’s sorry about what happened before with Bailey; she was just cranky. Maxie says, it’s fine. It’s good for her to see her daughter is in good hands. Brook and Chase make a great team. She leaves, and Chase says he agrees with Maxie. He and Brook make a good team. She says, really? She gets the sense she’s just a burden to him.

Carly and Josslyn get in the bed with their coffee, and Carly says she does hope to put the pieces back together. Josslyn tells her not to stay with Sonny if it means she’s unhappy, and Carly says, in the end, that depends on Sonny. He needs to understand that she needs space, or they’ll never be able to make things right.  

Curtis and Marshall clink glasses, and Curtis says, to Marshall’s health. Marshall says, and Curtis’s, and the continued health of The Savoy. They drink, and Marshall says, that’s good. Curtis says, another? and pours Marshall another shot. Marshall says, Curtis is right on the money. Shady characters always try to muscle their way into venues like this. Speaking of the devil, Sonny walks over to the table, and Curtis asks, what’s up? Sonny says, he wants Curtis’s club.

In her car on the phone, Jennifer says, the memorial just ended… No. She did not get the closure she needed, but she did get them what they wanted. Sonny is in no rush to expand to the west coast, which gives them plenty of time to grow strong before they make their move one day… So are they finished here?

Spencer tells Laura that he left the message on Doc’s voicemail, and she thanks him. He asks why she wanted him to leave. It’s not like he doesn’t know his Uncle Sonny is a kingpin. She says, all the more reason for Spencer not to listen in on Sonny’s conversations, especially the ones with Jennifer Smith. He says, she was a lot, and Laura says, that’s one way of putting it. He asks if Laura is worried about Jennifer showing up, and Laura says, it’s a concern, but she has other things to focus on. He says, like running the city, but she says, no. Actually, she was thinking about her family. She knows she’s been hard on him recently, but hopes he knows that she’ll always love him. He says he loves her too, and they hug.

Victor suggests he hold on to the sonogram for Valentin. He can return it when Bailey’s absence from Valentin’s heart is a little less painful. Valentin thanks him, and tells him to take it. Someone has to pull the plug on his attachment to that kid. Like he said, he’s got the tab. Victor says, don’t you dare. Please allow him. It’s the least he can do for the chance of getting to know Valentin better. Valentin says, and him getting to know Victor, and finishes his drink. Valentin says something in French, and leaves, and Victor says, au bien teau, mon fils (good luck, my son).

Austin tells Britt, let’s celebrate. He’s on the A-list of Quartermaine invitees. It makes him want to dance with joy. She says, at least things worked out with Leo. Austin was willing to risk his career when he suspected Leo was on the autism spectrum. He says, that’s just him, Saint Austin, but she says she thinks it’s more than him just being a good doctor. Is there a reason why Leo’s case was so personal to him?

Chase says, Brook is a burden to him? Where’s this coming from? She tells him, forget she said anything; she’s tired. He says, it came from somewhere. Don’t shut him out. She says, she’s not; she swears. She’s going to check on Bailey one more time, and go to bed. She’ll see him in the morning.

Victor finishes his drink, and is about to leave, when he literally runs into Maxie. She drops her stuff, and he sees the sonogram with her patient ID on it.

Tomorrow, Trina asks if Spencer would care to make it interesting, Josslyn asks why Carly was the one to leave when Sonny messed up, Nina says it’s either her or Carly, and Sonny tells Curtis that he’s not leaving until he gets it.

Below Deck

Christophe Harbour, St. Kitts. Everyone is a bit hung over. In Eddie’s interview, he says, the season has been difficult. It kills him that Rayna didn’t think of him as a friend or supporter. He felt like he’d let someone down. He tells Rayna that the thing with Heather isn’t sitting well with him; both that it upset Rayna and that she didn’t feel he’d backed her up. That was the last thing he wanted, and wants to do what he can to support her. He asks if she wants him to grab Heather, so they can kill this, but Rayna says she’s tired of talking to Heather about it. He tells her that she doesn’t express it when she’s upset, and she agrees. He tells her to talk to him next time.

It’s time for the preference sheet meeting, and Captain Lee says the primaries are Jennifer, a real estate entrepreneur from Utah, and husband Darin, who want the charter of a lifetime with their friends. Jennifer has requested no cooked fish, and they want a white party with a curated meal, featuring their dishes from their favorite cuisines. They also want a jungle safari beach party, and a formal dinner party. The captain says, they’re leaving at 11. Until then, he’s leaving them to their own devices. As he walks away, he says, that’s a frightening thought in itself. In Eddie’s interview, he says, they’re all exhausted. One more push. Macho man Eddie is coming out. He tells the deckhands, let’s get her done. Captain Lee asks Eddie to take them out of the dock, and Eddie says he’d like Jake to be on watch. Provisions come in.

Captain Lee tells the crew, 30 minutes. It’s the last one, and he wants to hit it out of the park, because we can’t get through the season without a baseball reference. The guests come on board, and are given champagne. The captain says, Heather will give them the tour; then they’ll get this party started. Rachel says she’s in let’s kill it mode, and makes a charcuterie plate, while Heather shows the guests around. The marina manager yells at them to stop. Wes sees something in the water, and Eddie runs down. The captain says, that’s a big effing no-no. Leaving the engines running, and walking off from the wheelhouse is never acceptable.

Wes fishes garbage, and whatever else that fell, out of the water. Captain Lee tells Eddie, the number one rule; never leave the bridge unattended when everything is fired up. Eddie asks what the captain would have done (WWCLD?), and the captain says, shut everything down. You have no idea what could happen with the electronic controls. He learned the hard way. We flash back to 7 seasons ago, when the boat ripped a pilon off. Eddie gets the boat out into the water, and Captain Lee says, good job. Rayna drops anchor.

Island of Nevis. Kaylee says she’s banging the laundry out, and lunch is served. The guests inform Heather that Nevis is Alexander Hamilton’s birthplace, and express interest in visiting his old house. The slide is put up without incident, and Heather tells Kaylee, tonight is white chic, and puts her on balloon blowing. She gives Kaylee some pearls for the white party, and the guests want champagne for watching the sunset. The captain hears them wondering where someone is to serve the champagne. One suggests asking the captain, but Darin says he is not asking the captain for effing champagne. In Captain Lee’s interview, he says, the guests are paying how much money? They’re not even close to the finish line. The crew needs to get their heads out of their asses, or he’ll eat their asses. He goes to the crew mess, where everyone seems to be, and says, at no time is he ever to see everybody sitting at this table at the same time. The guests are wandering around, looking for drinks. Heather jets, and the captain says, if he sees this again, there will be hell to pay.

Heather says, group champagne flute coming up, and I get a mental picture of a champagne bong. In Fraser’s interview, he says he doesn’t think they’re providing the highest quality of hospitality, but it’s not his job… yet. He puts white feathers on his epaulets. Rayna helps in the galley, and in her interview, she says Rachel is a dragon lady. Rachel’s like Shrek, and Rayna is the donkey. The guests rave about the décor, and the table does look beautiful; pearls and white doilies with tiny white trees on them. Heather serves the salsa and guacamole, but fails to take the bowl of chips. In Rachel’s interview, she says, it’s the last leg of the race. Everyone is tired, but they need to keep communication open. Fraser tells Kaylee to do the cabins, and Heather tells Rachel that the guests are loving the soup, but Rachel says, she’s too tired, and doesn’t give a f***. I’m wondering why on earth the guests would opt for Mexican food at a white party. That’s like asking for a laundry disaster. Lobster ravioli is served, and primary Jennifer says she put it a million times in bold letters on her preference sheet; no cooked fish. From what she’s mumbling, it sounds like she doesn’t like the texture. In Heather’s interview, she says, Rachel had completely forgotten. Clearly, they were all exhausted. She tells Rachel about the mistake, and Rachel says, bloody effing hell.

We flash back to the prior charters where Rachel neglected one guest’s aversion to cheese, and didn’t quite meet the needs of the guest whose jaw was wired shut. In her interview, Rachel says, she’s so tired, it becomes a compilation. She comes upstairs with the next course, and apologizes to Jennifer for the lobster, saying, she’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again. Fraser and Jake chat as Fraser pops the balloons, and in Fraser’s interview, he says, he and Jake are different, but complete each other in weird, wonderful ways. They love each other. Jake calls pseudo-fiancé Paris, and says he’s taking an 8 day holiday after the season. She tells him that if there’s a strew position on the boat he’ll be on, she’ll come along, but the phone dies.

The next morning, Jennifer and Darin have coffee on the top deck. Heather says Rachel looks like she’s going to cry or kill someone. No surprise, Rachel opts for the latter. Fraser calls friend Kamille, and in his interview, he says, his aspiration is to be a chief stew. He tells Kamille that he’s too comfortable where he is, and couldn’t live a comfortable life. The guests are seated for breakfast, and I wonder why everyone isn’t clutching coffee cups. Mine doesn’t leave my hand in the morning until noon. Heather tells Fraser that she’s grumpy and over people being grumpy and over it. She’s effing exhausted. In her interview, she says, the boat sucks, and the best way to fix it is with imagination. They need a serious bounce back, and to take it to the next level. She tells Eddie that the guests love Hamilton. Maybe he could think of a cool way to incorporate it. Eddie says he thinks Heather already has an idea, and asks, what’s on her mind? She says, this is how we get $30K…

Heather tells Eddie that she’ll put him in a Hamilton outfit, and he can pull up in a boat. He suggests he ask directions to NYC, so he can better his education, and then leave. Heather produces a grey wig from who-knows-where, along with a bunch of costume pieces. In Eddie’s interview, he says he was into musical theater when he was younger. The first part he played was in The Wizard of Oz. He played Toto, and stole the show. He’s playing it cool, but can’t wait to get his Hamilton on. Heather tells Fraser that she’s going to set up on the beach, and she wants him to stay for the final packing. Rayna and Jake are already there, setting up the tents, and in Rayna’s interview, she says, she sees the light at the end of the tunnel, but she’s going to miss Jake. They love each other, but the boat is too small for their big personalities. Regardless, she loves him.

Captain Lee tells Heather, the wheelhouse looks like a costume shop. It’s got to go. Heather thinks the captain is tired and cranky too, and Rachel says, or just pissed because he wants to wear the wig. In Rachel’s interview, she says she’s glad the captain didn’t talk to her like that. She would have cried. Heather tells Kaylee that she’s getting it from all angles. It started with Rachel in the morning; then Rayna was giving her attitude. Now it was Captain Lee. In Kaylee’s interview, she said she and Heather were like sisters. They love each other, but they can also want to rip each other’s heads off. She feels it’s her responsibility to pick Heather back up, because that’s what sisters do. Kaylee fixes Heather’s hair in the crew mess, and the captain asks if Heather is chewing gum. Heather promises she’ll spit it out before she waits on the guests, and in her interview, she says, more knives, but she’s still standing. Fraser comes in, and asks Heather something about the dish he’s holding. She tells him to drop it off in the galley, then tend to the guests, but he keeps talking. Afterwards, she tells him that Captain Lee didn’t want to see all three stews in the galley, and when she told him to go, he did the opposite. He made it seem like her word didn’t stand. In Fraser’s interview, he says he’s sorry Heather’s not feeling great, but right now, it’s not cute. Chill the f*** out.

Rachel asks Wes to help put aluminum foil on the food trays going to the beach. In Rachel’s interview, she says, screwing up is not an option. She’s made it a la carte, so there’s an option for everyone. Heather and Kaylee go over to the beach, and in Heather’s interview, she says, the picnic has to be seamless. She needs to have her head in the game, and stop worrying about how everyone feels. The guests are brought over, and Kaylee and Wes go back to the boat. Cornhole is played, as it is at every jungle safari beach picnic. Heather takes a group photo of the guests, and Rachel grills. Heather calls Eddie to come with the ice cream, and Eddie gets into his costume.

Looking like an aging minuteman, Eddie tells us, I’m Alexander Hamilton, bitch. He approaches the beach, and upon landing, says he’s on his way to King’s College, but brought them ice cream. In his interview, he says, Lin Manuel, I’m available. Rachel tells Heather that Eddie wasn’t supposed to come until the very end of the meal, and in her interview, Rachel asks why this is happening. If it melts, she’ll look like a dumbass. She tells Heather that she wanted it when the guests were done eating. In Heather’s interview, she asks if she’s in the Twilight Zone. Don’t hate her. She was doing what Rachel wanted. She suggests putting it in the cooler, but Rachel says she doesn’t care anymore.

Next time, the finale, a duel on deck, Rachel tells Heather to STFU, and Heather begs for Rayna’s forgiveness on her knees. It’s a no.

🏖 On the God awful Summer House, the takeaway points were as follows. We found out newcomer Mya had once been engaged to Kwame from Top Chef. Danielle’s boyfriend was also a chef, and getting more successful, so he wasn’t around much, but she seemed okay with that. Ciara said, Austen wasn’t ready to date or be in a relationship, and Carl looked like an entrée. Really? Et tu, Ciara? Some woman cursed Andrea out and called him an a-hole for pushing her in the pool at a pool party. Paige asked the woman and her friend to leave the pool party, but they were like, you can’t fire me, I quit, and said they were on their way out anyway. Andrea got all dramatic about it, and took to his bed. Amanda did weird things with a floatie, and I have no idea why. No surprise, Andrea wanted what he could no longer have, which was Paige, and that confused her, but we know she’s with Craig now, so it really doesn’t matter. I finally looked it up. This cast is mostly between 30 and 40. I have no words.

👨🏾‍🍳 Crossing Over…

If things had worked out, would Kwame have been a Summer Chef?

👠 Blast From the Past…

All about Jennifer Smith’s return.

💰 It Was a Good Run…

He should have stayed in New York. I’ll bet we see him in a reality show down the road.

https://people.com/home/fredrik-eklund-is-leaving-the-million-dollar-listing-franchise/

🌬 Dreaming On…

Please feel free to join me tomorrow for soap and a VanderReunion where I’m sure sparks will be flying. Until then, stay safe, stay seeking answers, and stay not going to memorials you’re not invited to. No good can come of it.