What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Alexis tells Nurse Frederica that she’s supposed to see Portia for some test results. Frederica says Portia is with a patient, but she can let her know Alexis is there. Alexis says she can call later, and tries to jet, but runs into Molly. Molly asks, what happened to her arm?

Curtis calls Laura, and says he hopes her business in DC comes to a speedy conclusion. Port Charles needs her

Lulu reaches for her check at the MetroCourt bar, and Cyrus puts his hand on it, saying, allow him. She says, no thanks. She wouldn’t want to compromise her integrity. He says, protecting her journalistic honor, and she says they can call it that. He wonders if she can’t tell him when Laura is coming back. He has some important things to discuss with her. She suggests he discuss them with Laura’s deputy, and he strongly advises she relay his message. Sam comes along, and asks if there’s a problem.

Curtis walks into Jordan’s office, and she says he seems familiar. She thinks she’s married to him. He says, married, but on different schedules. They barely see one another. She says she’s been working non-stop since Neil died, and he says he saw it on social media. He heard it was a heart attack. She says, that’s what the paramedics initially thought, but it was an OD.

Peter asks Maxie what she thinks; boy or girl? She says they agreed wait to find out, but he says she’s the mom. What do her instincts tell her? She says her instincts tell her that they’ll be happy either way. Her mom and Mac might have opinions though. He says, it’s nice to have family support, and she says, most of the family. As much as she loves him, it’s been peaceful since Robert left.

Brando opens the garage door, and finds the garage totally clean. Jason is there, and Brando says he came in to put the place back together, but Jason says, Sonny sent some guys to take care of it. He came early to finish up. Brando says it’s appreciated, but he doesn’t think Jason came just check on the shop. Jason says he’s there to check on him.

Josslyn and Dev play checkers. Josslyn wonders why she thought playing a game that reminds her of Mike was a good idea. Dev says Mike loved checkers, and he’d want them to enjoy playing in his honor. Josslyn says, all she can think about is that she’ll never play with him again.

Carly asks Sonny, what’s in his hand? and he says, his father’s watch. Mike told him to take care of it, and he wanted to get it cleaned, and give it back. He guesses time ran out. The doorbell rings, and it’s Ava and Nikolas with Avery. Carly thanks Ava for bringing Avery, and Ava says, of course (🍷). She asks if she can come in for a minute and talk to Sonny. Carly tells Avery to go play, and Ava says they had so much fun. Avery was an absolute angel, as always. Sonny thanks her for looking out for Avery, and she says she’s so sorry for his loss. Nikolas says, Mike was a good man, and Sonny says, he was. Ava says she hasn’t told Avery about Mike. She thinks Sonny should be the one to tell Avery that her grandfather is gone.

Alexis tells Molly, TJ must be waiting upstairs, but Molly wants to know why Alexis is wearing a cast. Alexis says her wrist was hurting, and Ned insisted. Molly says, Ned? and Alexis says, he was at Kelly’s when she dropped her… It was a fracture, so they put her in a cast and sent her home. Frederica says Portia is free, and Molly says they’ll be waiting in exam one.

Jason says he didn’t expect Brando to be back at work so soon. He took a helluva beating. Brando says the doctors gave him the all clear, and there’s no permanent damage. Jason says he’s glad, and Brando says, him too. Who knows what might have happened if Jason hadn’t shown up when he did? Jason says, one of the benefits of surveillance, and takes down the camera, handing it to Brando. Brando asks if this is where he’s supposed to thank Jason for spying on him, and Jason says, somebody messed with his bike. He and Sonny had to make sure Brando was on the up and up. Brando says they could have asked. Jason says he and Sonny thought Brando was legit, but their skepticism kept him alive. Brando says, trust but verify.

Curtis asks if there’s any chance it’s a mistake, and Jordan says, she wishes. Neil injected himself with a lethal dose of opioids while he was in bed, with Alexis sleeping beside him. Curtis says, it’s the same way her colleagues died who put Cyrus away. That’s some coincidence. She says, that was her first thought, but Cyrus denied he had a hand in it. He asks if she thought Cyrus would confess, and she says she thought he’d give something away, but he didn’t. For all she knows, he didn’t know Neil, and there’s no connection. Cyrus isn’t involved. Curtis tells her, be careful not to push Cyrus too far. She’ll set a bad example for her son. He’s taking after his mother.

Sam asks if Cyrus is bothering Lulu, and he asks if Sam is personal bodyguard or security for the hotel. Sam says she’s just a concerned citizen, and Lulu says, it’s okay. Cyrus was just asking a lot of questions about her mother. He says he’s also a concerned citizen. He has some great ideas for the hospital, and wants to run them by Laura. Lulu says there’s a number of people in the administration that he could talk to, but he says he doesn’t deal with surrogates. Lulu says, just tell her, what’s the fascination he has with her mother?

Outside, Nikolas asks where Ava is going in such a hurry. She says, breakfast, with a friend. Why? Is he keeping tabs on her? He says, curiosity, and she says she won’t ask where he’s going then. He tells her, have fun at breakfast, but don’t drown herself bloody Marys. She says she’ll see him back at the castle.

Cyrus asks if Lulu isn’t breaking a cardinal rule of journalism; a reporter making themselves and their family part of the story. Lulu asks, is there a story? Is this on the record? He tells her to let Laura know he was asking for her, and tells Sam he’s so happy her significant other is better. He leaves, and Lulu says, wow. Interesting how he went out of his way to mention Jason. Maxie and Peter join them, and Maxie asks if they’re okay. Peter says, they saw Cyrus, and Lulu tells them, she’d like to say his bark is worse than his bite, but they know that’s not true. Maxie says she knows Sam’s mother was with Neil when he died, and asks if Alexis is okay. Sam says, she’s still in shock, and Lulu says it seems possible that Cyrus was involved. Maxie asks if she’s trying to say the hospital’s new benefactor is tied to Neil’s death, and Peter says, that’s a serious allegation. Lulu says, who else would have the resources to bring those kinds of drugs into Port Charles? Sam agrees, and Maxie says, anyone who lives in Port Charles knows Sonny runs the town. Cyrus must know that, and who in their right mind would want to upset Sonny? I think the operative phrase is right mind.

Jordan asks if Cyrus is threatening TJ again, but Curtis says, more like the other way around. Jordan says, TJ threatened Cyrus? and he says, not to his face, but TJ is rallying the staff against what Cyrus is planning. He’s proud that TJ is standing up, but Cyrus isn’t an enemy who can be threatened by a march or a strike. Jordan wishes Cyrus had killed Neil, so she could bring him in, but Curtis says Cyrus would cry entrapment. She says she can’t put Cyrus away until there’s a deterrent, and she knows Curtis has something. Stella comes in and says she hopes she’s not interrupting, and Curtis asks what she’s doing there. She asks if that’s any way to say hello, and he hugs her. She says, much better.

Nina asks if Jax talked to Josslyn. Nina is sure her grandfather’s death is hitting her hard. He says, not yet; he’s heading over there now. He looks at Nina and says she’s remarkable, and she says she knows that, but why is he saying that today? He says she postponed her search, so she could be with him, and he wants her to know how much he appreciates it.

Carly asks what Ava wanted, and Sonny says she wanted him to be the one to tell Avery about her grandfather. She offered to help, but he said no. For once he agrees with Ava; he should do it alone. Carly says he can help Avery understand what happened in a way that makes sense to her. He says he doesn’t want to cause Avery more pain, and Carly says she understands. Sonny says, she’s not prepared, and Carly says, of course (🍷) not. There’s no way to prepare for something like this. He wonders how he’s going to tell his little girl that the grandfather she loves so much is never coming back.

Nina says she’s not upset or disappointed that she had to postpone her search. As far as she knows, Phyllis Caulfield isn’t going anywhere, and Josslyn needs her dad now. He says he should head over there; he’ll call her later. She tells him to give Carly her best. She hasn’t heard anything about Nelle, and hopes the police track her down soon. He says he’ll pass that along.

Dev looks at his phone, and tells Josslyn, it sounds like Trina is getting into homecoming. She says it sounds like he is too, and he says he is. He wants to know if it’s like the teen movies he watched in Turkey. She says, where? and he says, Bridgeport. She doesn’t know if it will live up to the films, and says she doesn’t think she’s going. Mike just died. Party planning isn’t where she is right now. He says he gets it, and he’s sorry. She says, there’s nothing to be sorry about. She just feels weird today. She’s supposed to be excited homecoming, but what’s a dance without her best friend?

Alexis says Molly is making her nervous, but Molly says she can’t help it. She finds Alexis with her arm in a cast, waiting for mysterious test results that she obviously doesn’t want to get. What is she avoiding? Alexis says she was prioritizing, and Molly asks, what’s more of a priority than her health? Portia comes in, and says she sees Alexis brought her daughter. Molly says she didn’t give Alexis much of a choice, and Alexis says she appreciates the moral support, and she’s ready to hear the results.

Sonny says, maybe he’ll tell Avery tomorrow, but Carly says, she’s not a baby anymore. She can see how sad everybody is, and needs him to tell her the truth. The doorbell rings, and it’s Jax. Carly asks what brings him by, and he says he’s there to see Josslyn. She told him about Mike, and he’s sorry for their loss. He asks Sonny if there’s anything he can do, and Sonny says take care of his daughter. That’s what’s important. Carly says Josslyn is on the patio, and Jax goes to find her.

Outside Jax hugs Josslyn, and says he’s so sorry. He gives his condolences to Dev too; he knows Dev and Mike became close. Dev says he and Mike got along pretty well. He’ll let them talk, and meet up with Josslyn later. Josslyn tells Jax, she cried a lot last night, but now it feels like there’s a void, but she’s all cried out, and recharging. He says, grief comes in waves, and you have to roll with it. She says, good thing he taught her those lessons, but she’s not sure what to do next. She’s supposed to meet Cameron and Trina about homecoming. He asks if she doesn’t think Mike would want her to be happy. Mike lived a great life, and would want her to live her life to the fullest even though he’s not around.

Portia says Alexis’s scan shows bone loss related to osteoporosis, and Molly asks why she’s just finding out about this now. Alexis says she had no reason to think it was serious. She’s had a lot on her mind. It’s her life, and she cherishes her privacy. Molly says, as her daughter, she has a vested interest in Alexis’s well-being. Portia says the score shows a negative 2.6, and Molly asks if it’s bone cancer.

Curtis tells Stella they’re beyond thrilled to have her, but why didn’t she let them know she was flying in? Stella says, so they could tell her there’s no room at the inn? and Jordan says, of course (🍷) she’s welcome at their house. Stella says she’s booking a room at the MetroCourt, and Curtis says they’d love to have her stay with them, but tell them ahead of time. She says the trip caught her off-guard, and he asks, what brings her from London on such short notice? She says she came to say goodbye to a dear friend.

Lulu suggests maybe Cyrus is testing the waters to see if Sonny is paying attention, and Sam says she has to go check in. Lulu asks Peter if she overstepped, but Peter thinks it’s because Sam doesn’t like him and Maxie together. Maxie thinks there seems to be tension about Cyrus, and Lulu says he’s a known drug trafficker, and Neil died from an OD. Maybe not enough people are asking the right questions. Peter asks Maxie to excuse them, and Maxie says she feels a work conversation about to start. She leaves, and Peter says he knows that look. Lulu is cooking up a plan, isn’t she?

Brando says he sees why Jason and Sonny would think he’d take Cyrus’s offer, but he still doesn’t like what they did. Jason asks if he sees why they did it, and Brando says he does. That’s why he can’t get mad. They saved his life by invading his privacy, but next time, just ask. Jason says that’s the main reason he came. Sonny wanted Brando to keep his distance from the business, but the way the Cyrus situation keeps evolving, that’s not possible. Brando says he has a problem with that, but Jason says, hear him out. He has plan, but it’s going to take both of them.

Stella explains that when Sonny made peace with Mike’s death, Mike was able to let go. Curtis says she sure helped the family, and Jordan asks if there’s anything they can do. Stella says she’s not going to tell Jordan how to do her job, but she imagines Sonny would appreciate privacy from the PCPD. Jordan says, as long as he doesn’t make trouble, and Curtis asks how long Stella is in town. She says she’s staying for Mike’s funeral, and plans to lay eyes on TJ come hell or high water. His correspondence has been lackluster. Curtis says, TJ is living in the hospital these days, and Stella says, after being abducted and beat up? Curtis says, he’s made a full recovery, but she says she’ll believe it when she sees it for herself. And she’ll breathe a sigh of relief when Jordan catches the devil who attacked him.

Lulu tells Peter, it’s hard to believe Cyrus is walking around unchecked. He’s sticking to his story of being innocent, and the national media loved it. The Invader is local, but the national media ate up his story about being exonerated after he was framed, and then just moved on to the next thing. If they can get the story in the hands of an A-list reporter or a national news anchor, it would be a game changer. Cyrus is dirty; she’s sure of it. And sunlight is the best disinfectant.

Portia tells Molly, it’s not cancer, but it does indicate osteoporosis. Molly says she has general knowledge about it, but needs a better understanding. Portia says it occurs when the body loses too much bone mass, makes too little, or both. It can cause a break from a fall, a minor bump, or even a sneeze. Alexis says she was hoping to prove Portia wrong, and Molly asks if it doesn’t occur in older women. Portia says, many women experience bone loss after menopause, and there’s more risk after that. One in two women will experience a break in their lifetime, and many are potentially at risk. Calcium and vitamin D deficiency, lifestyle, hormone changes, and alcohol consumption can affect bone density. Alexis says she mentioned she was a recovering alcoholic. Why did she think it couldn’t happen to her?

Jason and Brando shake hands. Jason says he’ll be in touch, and Brando says if Jason needs more work on his bike, he promises never to let it out of his sight. Jason passes Dev on his way out, and Dev says, nice place. Brando asks if he can do something for Dev, and Dev says he was just in the neighborhood. He needs advice. Brando says, about what? and Dev says, about a girl.

Sonny tells Avery, he’s afraid he has bad news. She knows her granddaddy loves her very much. He was sick, and that’s why he was in Turning Woods. When they would visit him, he would sometimes call her different names, like Courtney. Avery asks if they’re going see him tonight, but Sonny says, her grandpa died.

Carly gives Jax some coffee, and asks how Josslyn is. He says, she’s doing okay. She’s spending some time with her friends. Carly says, life keeps throwing Josslyn punches but she rolls with them. She gets knocked down, but gets back up again. Jax says, as far as resilience goes, she has an excellent role model. No one would know what Carly has been through in the past few weeks. Carly says she plans to fall apart as soon as she has time, and I totally identify. Jax asks if she’s told Sonny about Nelle.

Alexis supposes it’s going to take more than six weeks in a cast now, and Portia says, she should consult with the orthopedist, and discuss treatment options. There are medications she can take to stop bone loss, and do weight bearing exercises, as well as taking calcium and vitamin D. Molly says, at least it’s treatable. She was so scared when she thought it was cancer, but it sounds manageable. Portia says, it’s a wake-up call. The fracture is life-changing, and Alexis needs to make lifestyle changes to prevent more fractures, but Portia doesn’t think she’ll find it too difficult, and she can keep doing the things she enjoys.

Brando asks Dev to tell him about the girl. Dev says, she’s funny, gorgeous, and athletic. She made a move on him months ago, but he blew it. He told her it was a bad idea, and made it seem like he wasn’t interested. Brando says, that’s not a great start, but it’s not a tragedy. Dev says he was going to homecoming with her and a group as friends, but… Brando says, he doesn’t want to go as friends, but a date. Dev said she was athletic, and jocks hang out together. Why doesn’t he ask Josslyn to put in a good word? Dev says, that’s the thing. The girl he likes is Josslyn.

Stella asks if Jordan has any ideas about a motive, and Jordan says she can’t discuss an ongoing investigation. Stella says, at this rate, it will be ongoing for the next 20 years. Curtis says, enough. If she’s implying Jordan isn’t doing enough, she couldn’t be more wrong. Jordan doesn’t need sarcasm and second guessing; she needs support. And if Stella can’t muster that, then she should have skipped the visit. He storms out.

Sonny tells Avery that her grandpa loved when they’d see the horses, and go to the stables. He loved her drawing, and loved when she would laugh, but just because he’s not with them, doesn’t mean that all goes away. Avery says, it doesn’t? and Sonny says, no. Because when someone dies, you may not see them anymore, but they’re always with them, right there. He touches his own heart, then hers. She asks if her grandpa is in Sonny’s heart too, and Sonny says they couldn’t get rid of him even if they tried. He asks her for a hug.

Carly tells Jax, she didn’t tell Sonny. He was preoccupied with Mike, and now Mike’s gone. Jax says, if she remembers, he didn’t think it was a good idea anyway. The fewer people who know the better. She says Jax, herself, Sonny, and Jason are experts at keeping secrets, and he suggests they leave Nelle in the past. The truth is better left by the river where she fell.

Molly tells Alexis, she almost fainted with relief when she heard it was osteoporosis. Obviously, it’s serious, and Alexis has to make lifestyle changes, but in the end, it’s manageable. It’s important that she reduce the risk of another fracture. Alexis says, one can only hope, and Molly suggests she take the rest of the day off. They can hang out. Alexis says she has no license, and has nothing but days off, but TJ is expecting Molly. She knows Molly cares, and she appreciates that, but she could use some time alone. Molly says, okay, but Alexis knows she’s always a text pr phone call away. Alexis says she does know that, so stop worrying. She’s fine.

Dev tells Brando, he’s pretty sure Josslyn likes Cameron. It’s unfair, since all the other girls are crushing on him. Brando says Dev can’t control how Josslyn feels, but he can control his own actions. If she made a move on him, she must like him, and probably still does. Dev says, it’s been a while, and Brando says he came there for advice, and here it is. Be himself. Remind Josslyn of how great he is. If it’s meant to be, the rest will follow.

Curtis comes back, and apologizes to Stella from the bottom of his heart. He was rude. Stella says, maybe so, but she was thoughtless. Jordan is handling the investigation, and running the department, and doesn’t need Stella telling her how to do her job. Curtis says, it’s still no excuse for his behavior. He loves her. Jordan says, so does she, and Stella thanks them. Jordan says since Stella has been doing so much for other people, she wants to do something to help Stella. Stella says she’s already doing it; keeping the family safe and whole. Curtis hugs her.

Maxie sees Sam, and says she and Peter have a decision to make before the next round of tests. They wanted to go old school, and wait to find out if the baby is a boy or girl, but she’s starting to waver. She hesitates, and Sam says, just say it. Maxie says Sam hasn’t congratulated her on the baby. Are they still friends? Sam says, sorry. She’s been distracted. Of course (🍷) they’re friends. Maxie says they haven’t hung out in a while, and she can’t help feel Sam doesn’t approve of her and Peter being together. Sam is one of her best friends. Sam says she’s sorry, but she knows who Peter is. Maxie says, it’s horrible that Faison forced him to help with his evil plans, but Faison is dead, and Peter has moved on. The darkness is in the past. Sam says she hopes so.

Lulu tells Peter, she’s a good reporter, and The Invader is a good paper, but they need national exposure. Then other reporters can share what they know with them, and vice versa. The best case scenario, they find another witness. He says it sounds like she has someone in mind, and she says she has a short list. She asks if she has his blessing, and he says she does. She thanks him, saying he won’t regret it. He says, she might. If a national reporter is on the story, her byline will be a footnote. She says she’s not looking for a byline. She’s looking to protect Port Charles from him. She looks over at Cyrus, who’s sitting at another table.

A man sits with Cyrus, and says, Walker just got word on the source. Neil OD’d on their product.

Carly tells Jax, she hasn’t heard from the police since she gave her statement. He says, if they haven’t found the body, they never will. As long as Nelle stays gone, there’s no evidence linking her death to Carly, and Carly can be free. Apparently Jax has never seen a soap opera.

Sonny asks if Avery feels okay, and Avery says she’s hungry. He tells her, go get a snack. She starts to go inside, and he sees the half-heart necklace on the ground. He asks if the necklace is hers.

Jax tells Carly, let’s hope anything incriminating stays gone along with Nelle. Jason walks in looking more serious than usual.

Tomorrow, Valentin tells Alexis he’ll return the favor, Ava tells Nina there’s been an unexpected complication, Franco wants to talk to Elizabeth, and Dante yells something I can’t hear at Dr. Kirk.

Below Deck Mediterranean

We backtrack a little. When we last left, a guest wanted cucumbers, and Captain Sandy had the audacity to get Tom. Aesha asks Tom why he’s giving her attitude. She had nothing to do with it, and doesn’t even know what going on. Tom tells her to calm down with the waterworks, and says she feels the need to apologize, but she says she feels sorry for him; she’s not apologizing. Jess is still Jiu Jitsu-ing on the matt, while one of the guests films it. Bugs is eating in the crew mess, when Aesha blows through. Bugs follows her to her cabin, and Aesha starts crying. She says Tom is so grumpy, and acting like she did it. She heard the captain say cucumbers, and by the time she got there, he was complaining about how she can’t do it herself, and telling her to stop the waterworks. Bugs says she’s sorry, and hugs Aesha. Aesha says, it’s fine. Tom just got caught up in the moment, and was angry. Bugs tells her to go on break. In Aesha’s interview, she says she’s always had good relationships with her chief stews. It’s important to be able to go to them, and Bugs is approachable. It’s nice to have someone to talk to about it. Conniving and underhanded Malia waves to whiney asshat Tom. Bugs tells Jess, since they lost ultimate frisbee, they have to wear Speedos to dinner. Thank God over their uniforms. Malia asks Tom why he’s pissed off, and he complains that there was no adult on board to slice cucumbers for the guests. In his interview, he says, since he wasn’t in the galley, Captain Sandy should have known he was on a break. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t take a break effing ever, she assumed he wasn’t taking one. He’d be embarrassed to knock on the chef’s door and ask them to slice a cucumber. He tells Malia, Aesha started crying, but he didn’t mean to come across as rude. He has to apologize. Rude? That was way past rude. Bugs tells Tom that she’ll chat with guests about their concept for dinner. In her interview, she says, it’s a fine line protecting her stews from the chef, and at the same time, keeping the chef happy.

Guest Michelle golfs from the boat, and I wonder how many fish have swallowed golf balls. Vegetarian guest Melissa tells Bugs that Tom’s food is great, and she wants to try the beef. Bugs relays the message to Tom, who acts like it’s another pain in his ass, rather than a compliment. Bugs gets the Speedos ready. Captain Sandy gets coffee and Tom acts like she’s not there. In her interview, she tells us, Tom says nothing, and won’t even look at her. She says she feels bad for him, but if a client is looking for food from the chef, she’s going to find out where he is. Whatever it takes. She wants him to do his job. He can stay mad, or choose to let it go. Bugs decorates with Speedos and… whistles that look like butts? In her interview, Aesha says she can’t believe how rude and inappropriate Tom was. He owes her an apology. He’s lucky she didn’t make Jiu Jitsu moves on him. In Jess’s interview, she says, Aesha’s personality is enjoyable, but it makes her skeptical. She thinks Rob likes Aesha’s easy free spirit. She puts a banana in her Speedo. Aesha jokes with Rob. Rob goes to the refrigerator to get… that’s right, a cucumber. In Tom’s interview, he says, another bloody cucumber. Rob puts it in his Speedo. Primary Eric takes his sweet time getting ready, and everyone has to wait. Tom mumbles to Malia that he’s only really there for her. If he’s pissed when he’s around her, what’s the point? In Malia’s interview, she says, it’s a nightmare. She feels like it’s all her fault. Tom doesn’t have to be there, and she feels guilty putting him in the situation in the first place. (I play the world’s smallest violin to accompany her thoughts.) She says, it’s tough being on the same boat. She wants to help him, but also keep it professional. Everyone is still waiting, and Tom says, this is effing mental.

Eric does his not really much hair, and Tom gets even more impatient. Eric says, it’s showtime, and makes his entrance. It was not worth waiting for. Rob watches Jess do cabins. Bugs joins the guests wearing her stuffed Speedo, and says yo, yo, yo. Eric takes a picture. She calls them her naughty friends, and leads them upstairs for their naughty-cal dinner. Michelle says, it feels like a bachelorette party. Aesha says, it must be annoying having nuts. Tom grumbles that he’s tired. Malia says, when he’s done, they’ll take care of the dishes. Those are whistles that look like butts. Melissa says, being vegetarian, she was nervous about the food situation, but it’s been phenomenal. Jess and Aesha straighten the cabins.

Eric asks where Malia’s Speedo is, and she says she didn’t lose. He says, she’s shown pure leadership to this point, but when the team loses, she loses. He doesn’t know the half of it. A guest says Tom’s food looks fabulous. Rob tells Jess that he’s going for a smoke, and they sit on the bow kissing and saying, I love you. Pretty soon it turns into a heavy make-out sesh. It’s almost midnight, and Tom jets to bed. Malia sees Jess and Rob, who at least aren’t on top of each other at this point. In her interview, Malia says, what the hell? It’s not a Sandel’s couples retreat. If the captain saw them, their asses would be off the boat. She tells them that neither one of them is in uniform, and the guests are right there. The rule – which God forbid they should break – is that when guests are around, they’re to be in uniform when on deck. In Rob’s interview, he says, Rob Jr. has a mind of his own. The guests go downstairs, and Bugs takes down the décor.

Final day of charter. Jess suggests she and Rob relax tonight; Netflix and chill. In Rob’s interview, he says he’d love to go roll around as you do. Malia’s mom texts her saying she’ll see Malia soon. She’ll be on the dock. Captain Sandy says hi to Tom, and gets crickets in return. She looks at some rice or something and asks if he’s been to India. He says he has, and Napal. She asks if he did any training there, but he says, no. Desperately trying to make conversation, she says she’s heard a lot of people go there to learn. Captain Obvious Sandy says he’s not in a good mood, but he says he’s just tired, and she says she gets it. Alex tells Malia that he’s nervous to meet her mom, but I’m not sure why. Jess asks if Bugs cares if she and Rob chilled tonight in the guest cabin. In her interview, Bugs just laughs, and she tells Jess that she just woke up.

Malia tells the deckhands that they have a quick turnaround, and her mom will be watching them come in. Tom tells Aesha that he’s sorry for how he spoke to her. She thanks him, and he says he wasn’t pissed at her, but pissed off because it didn’t make sense that an adult couldn’t cut a cucumber. In her interview, Aesha says that he’s still trying to justify it. Just apologize. She doesn’t care about his backstory. Bugs tells Jess that she and Rob can stay in the guest cabin, as long as everything is done. She wants to see the super stew come out in Jess as much as she’s ever seen it before. Jess asks how Bugs likes her table setting, and Bugs says, it’s beautiful. Agreed. It’s Indian looking with elephants and such.

Malia calls her mom. In Malia’s interview, she says her mom has been traveling in Spain and France for the last few weeks, and wants to watch them dock before she flies home. She was an airline stewardess, and it’s cool for her to see kind of the same work, but on a boat. Eric steals a captain’s hat. Malia and Captain Sandy go out to greet Malia’s mom Mary, along with Tom, who hugs her. Mary says the captain did a great job; she doesn’t know how they do it. Captain Sandy says Malia did it, and in Malia’s interview, she says Her mom encouraged her to push boundaries. Mary told her to do what she wanted, but be true to that.

It’s time for goodbyes, and Eric tells the crew, as a businessman, he appreciates it when people don’t look at their job as a narrow definition, but the end goal – making the customer happy. It exemplifies not only them but the person who assembled them. He knows they would normally get a tip, but instead, he’s giving them – wait for it – dinner invites to his Malibu beach house, where he has dinner every Tuesday. In Aesha’s interview, she says, WTF? That’s insane. As we all would say. I’d better see him turn around after the commercial, or I’m tracking him down on Twitter and calling him a cheap-ass bastard. Seriously, is he kidding???

Eric turns around, and takes the tip envelope out of his waistband. No need for Twitter. Everyone laughs, the crew applauds and waves. Bugs says they have one charter left; it’s a nice team. Malia asks Captain Sandy if her mom can come on board, and the captain says, sure. Malia tells Mary, welcome to the Wellington, and Mary says she thinks it’s beautiful. Rob says, this is where Malia bosses them around. Malia shows Mary the water toys, and says they have every toy you can possibly imagine. They stop by the galley, and Mary asks Tom if this is his kitchen. He corrects her, saying, it’s called a galley, and I’m surprised he didn’t yell at her. Malia asks her mom what she thinks, and Mary says, it’s wonderful. In Malia’s interview, she say that it was nice to have her mom on board. Her mom puts a smile on her face no matter what. She shows Mary the bridge, and in her interview, she says families don’t always understand the yachting lifestyle. It was cool to get to show Mary her world. Her mom was selfless, and put up with a lot. She raised six boys – really five, five boys and Malia. They basically put her through hell, and this was a real treat for her.

Captain Sandy radios the crew to meet in the salon for the tip meeting. Champagne is poured, and the captain says they have one charter left. She knows they’re all tired, including her. She’s been losing her temper; they all are. Tom did over a cucumber when a client was in the galley asking for one. He might want to write what time he’s getting a break on the board, so they don’t wake him up. In Tom’s interview, he says he can’t fault the captain for waking him up to do his job. He didn’t let anyone know he went on a break. Captain Sandy says the client never felt it, and they did their job. The tip is $20K or 1500 euros each. She says, well-deserved. Keep it together for the next charter. Tom wants a nap, and Bugs tells the stews, the faster they do it, the faster they can relax.

Everyone works to ready the boat. Aesha asks Jess if there are going to be stains on the sheets (geesh), and if she and Rob are sealing the deal. Or are they waiting for Bali? In Jess’s interview, she says she feels awkward talking about sex with Aesha. She hasn’t had it in two years. She’s scared and intrigued at the same time. Thanks for sharing. Malia says they’re done for the day, and Captain Sandy radios Malia, Tom, and Bugs for their final preference sheet meeting in the crew mess. It’s an all-girls trip, with co-primaries Erin, Hanna, and I miss the third one. The captain says, all three are single moms, and the others are from their mom crew. Malia reads that they’re out for fun, and want to do a land excursion to a small town. She reads the rest really fast, and there’s a lot of no, no, no, no, no. Captain Sandy says, it’s the last charter. Let’s kill it.

Malia asks if Tom is okay, and he says he doesn’t know what the problem is. He was scolded in the meeting, and wonders wtf he’s done. Is this guy have dissociative disorder? Or maybe short term memory loss? He was pissed and wouldn’t talk to the captain or even look at her, then he said he understood that she had to make him to his job, and now he doesn’t get why what he did was wrong. I can’t keep up. He says, it’s crazy, and Malia says she knows. In her interview, she says her heart is on her shoulder (huh?), and she’s right in the middle. Aesha asks Tom if he’s getting effed up tonight, and they all head for the taxis to town. Jess and Rob stay behind. Jess gets take-out delivered to the dock, while the rest of the crew goes to a restaurant. They clink glasses, and Alex can’t believe Jess is the OG of the group.

Aesha asks what’s up with Bugs and Alex, and if it’s on a day to day basis. Alex says he’ll let Bugs answer, but there’s silence. He says, that’s awkward, and she says, there’s no sexual tension. Can anyone in this group hold a coherent conversation? In Bugs’s interview, she says she feels awkward when in a confrontation about a relationship. She’s having fun, and would be happy to continue with that, being light and fun.

Alex says he likes Bugs, and in Malia’s interview, she says she thinks it’s harder on Bugs. It’s like your brother going after one of your friends. They wonder if Rob and Jess are having fun. On the boat, Rob says he needs to return to the states with Jess. He wants to something for her birthday, just the two of them. She says on her actual birthday, it was going to be just her mom, and now it will be him too. He says, it’s cute. They should bake a cake. In her interview, Jess says she told her mom about him, and her mom has only met one of her boyfriends when she was 19. They toast and kiss.

Alex asks Aesha if it was hard to jump in at the end of the season, and Aesha says she does freelance, but it was hard. Since she didn’t know them, she couldn’t fully be herself. In Aesha’s interview, she says, it was a new crew, she was homesick, and it wasn’t the same as last time. We flash back to the craziness that was Jack. Alex says, no one knows everyone right away. Bugs suggests they head home. In the taxi, Alex asks Bugs if she’s coming to Boston, but she hasn’t decided. Malia licks Tom’s face, and Alex asks them to please stop having sex in the taxi. I wonder who the stranger is sitting next to Tom, and realize it must be Pete. Wow. They iced him out so well, I forgot he was on the show.

Jess and Rob make up the bed, and in Rob’s interview, he says he wants to have sex. He explains super sexual tantric sex, and how you release energy out of your emotional love tank first before the physical act. He says Sting and his wife had sex for three days straight that way. It sounds exhausting.

The crew returns to the boat, and Aesha wonders if they should pop in on Jess and Rob. Bugs says she’s tired, and in Alex’s interview, he thinks Bugs is afraid, and when they have a real conversation, she shuts down. Maybe she’s had rocky relationships before – he doesn’t know – but he’s not a regular guy. We hear loud sex sounds outside the guest cabin. TMI a million times over.

Port Adriano. Rob and Jess go back to regular life. Tom asks how their evening was, and Rob says, good. He caught up on sleep. Malia goes over stuff with Rob, and Bugs wants to get laundry squared away. She says they’ll do a quick wipe down, vacuum, and get the provisions on. Jess and Aesha finish up with the cabins. Malia tells Captain Sandy that she wants to give Eric the title of lead deckhand before the season ends. We flash back to her getting the same title, and she says it meant a lot to her. It’s a great way to reward his efforts, and end on a high note. The captain loves the idea.

Primary Erin texts Captain Sandy, asking if they can come early. The captain says, sure, and tells the crew. In Tom’s interview, he says, it’s not cool. Not at all. The provisions come, and Tom asks Malia to meet him in the galley. He shows her that the temperature of the fish is around 12 degrees Celsius, and says, if it’s over 5, they’re supposed to refuse it. It’s effing insane. Malia tells Captain Sandy, who says she wants Tom to come tell her, but Malia says he’s calling the provisioner, and said to get her. In the captain’s interview, she says, she’d like Tom to speak with her himself. The captain goes to the galley, and Tom wails that the fish is really warm. What can they do? Captain Obvious Sandy says, get more fish. The provisioner will have to bring it at their expense. He says it should be delivered in a refrigerated container, but it was just in carrier bags. The guests are coming in an hour. The captain says she gets it, and calls the provisioner, saying, their fish order came in carrier bags, and not on ice. She gives the phone to Tom, who gripes that they have clients coming in one hour, and the fish is 12 degrees Celsius. It’s just room temperature, and he can’t serve it to guests; they need fresh halibut and cod for lunch. The provisioner says, absolutely, and she’ll sort it out for him asap. Tom says, everything is f***ed up, and it looks bad on him again. He radios Malia, and says he’s done. She goes to the galley, and he says he can’t do it. How fair is this? Cooking lobster takes 20 minutes. We see the place is covered with boxes and bags of food, and he asks how he’s going to put all this away. Malia says she’ll help him, and the captain says he’s getting fresh fish. He says fish isn’t his problem at the moment. The bread is burned. The captain says it looks good to her, and he says, it’s burned. He’s going to throw it in the bin. Captain Sandy tells Malia to come with her.

She tells Malia, stop saving him. Stay out of the galley. Tom didn’t come to her, and Malia isn’t the captain. Stay out of the galley, stay away, and let Tom do his job. The reality is, when it’s filtered through Malia, she doesn’t get the information she needs to help. Malia says, Tom needs help in the galley, and Captain Sandy says, anybody but her. Malia moans, Tom will walk off the boat, and the captain says, let him walk. Tom dumps a batch of perfectly fine bread into the garbage because he’s a d-bag.

Next time, Tom is an a-hole, Tom is an a-hole again, Jess feels the conversation between Aesha and Rob is inappropriate, and Jess says, yay, all women; her favorite. (Hint: She’s being facetious.)

🌇 Another Night Into Morning…

One day I’ll schedule my time better. When I have time to do it. Whatever you’re doing with your time, make sure you stay safe, stay helpful, and stay making sure your fish is the right temperature.