Tag Archives: Ladies of London

Dec7

December 6, 2016 – Secrets Abound on GH, Below Deck Ends, Beverly Hills Begins & Ladies of London Gets an Honorable Mention

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Sonny tells Carly he couldn’t find the gifts. She tells him he was looking on the wrong side of the bed.

Michael asks Nell if they’re still on for the gala, which he just asked her to five minutes ago. Kiki walks into the office.

In the parking garage, Jason peels the name off the side of the van. Underneath, it says Derek Wells Media, which is Julian’s company. The light bulb comes on over Jason’s head.

Alexis tells Julian that he’s blackmailing her, but he calls it tough love. She sarcastically tells him his concern for the greater good is one of his finest qualities. He tells her that the ethics committee is the least of her concerns. Jordan has been nosing around about the hit and run. Alexis finds it ironic that he’s threatening to involve police. Sam sees Alexis in Julian’s room and asks her what she’s doing there.

Charlotte tells Santa that she wants her mommy for Christmas. She and Lulu lock eyes. Laura asks if Lulu found Rocco’s Christmas list. She asks who the little girl is, and Dante tells her. He asks if Lulu has met her. She says no, she hasn’t.

Carly digs the gifts out from under the bed and goes back downstairs. Sonny looks at the photo of them together and then at the necklace.

Michael tells Kiki that Nell agreed to come to the Toys for Tots benefit with him. Kiki says she’s there to pick up her final paycheck. Michael wonders what happened, and Kiki tells him that she and Carly came to an understanding. Michael tells her good luck with whatever’s next, and tells Nell he’ll text her with the details. When he leaves, Kiki is like, you and Michael?

Carly is on her phone, and tells Sonny that for a season of love and good cheer, people can be very demanding. This is a surprise? Sonny suggests Olivia take some of the load. Carly says she’ll be sure to tell Olivia that it was his idea.

Curtis tells Jason that this could mean a few things, and they kick around a few scenarios. They decide to damage the van and then pretend to be concerned, responsible citizens who want to pay for the damage. Jason bashes the van with a crowbar.

Julian tells Sam that he asked Alexis to come. Sam asks what reason Alexis could have for seeing the man who tried to kill her.

Valentin introduces Charlotte to Rocco and they go off for cookies. He tells Dante and Lulu that their children have taken a shine to each other. Lulu doesn’t look pleased.

Michael stops by Sonny’s and they talk about celebrating Christmas early with Josslyn. Carly thanks Sonny for helping her, and he thanks her for coming by. Michael asks Carly if she can spare Nell on the 12th.

Nell tells Kiki that there’s nothing going on between her and Michael. She thinks he just took pity on her and wanted her to have a night out. Kiki says he’s thoughtful and starts to say something else, but stops. She tells Nell that they had a brief relationship, but they broke up because she hurt him and she went back to Morgan. She says she was keeping a huge secret from him.

Dante tells Valentin to back off, but Nina says this is for the kids. Laura thinks that Nina should ask Valentin to leave, but Doc suggests radical acceptance. He says that you can’t control the situation, but you can control your attitude and where you put your focus. Lulu talks to Charlotte. She starts asking Charlotte questions, but Nina says the only question Charlotte should be answering is what she wants for Christmas.

Alexis tells Sam that she thought it might be her last chance to tell Julian to go to hell. Sam says now that she knows Julian is going to live, can they go? Alexis says they’re done, and she and Sam leave. In the hallway, Sam asks Alexis if she’s all right. Alexis says she’s somewhere between yay he’s out of her life, and at least he didn’t hold a knife to her throat. Sam says she has the feeling there’s something else. Alexis says she doesn’t know what she’s doing half the time, but she’s done with Julian. Sam goes down in the elevator.

Laura steers Santa to the kids. Nina says if Lulu and Dante have a problem with Valentin, fine, but it doesn’t give them the right to interrogate his daughter. Valentin says he loves Charlotte the same way they love their children. He suggests a playdate and Dante is like, no. Nina wants to get Valentin and Charlotte some hot chocolate, and they leave together. Dante asks Lulu what’s up with that?

The driver shows up and asks Jason and Curtis if they’re the idiots who messed up the van. They claim they were arguing over a Bill’s game and it got out of control. The driver says his boss is going to be mad, and they’re going to have to pay for it. Curtis says they want to talk to him about his boss, and asks if it’s Julian.

Michael explains about taking Nell to the gala, and Carly thinks it’s a fine idea. She leaves, and Michael asks Sonny about her visit. Sonny says he doesn’t know what she’s feeling, and Michael says it looks like a start of the thaw. Sonny asks if Michael is interested in Nell.

Nell asks what secret Kiki kept from Michael. Kiki says it had to do with their parents, but Michael deserves someone who treats him better than she did. Nell gives her the check, and says that Kiki is taking it well. Kiki says it was time to leave. Nell says it would be understandable if there were hard feelings.

Kiki says she has no hard feelings. She asks Nell if she told Carly about their conversation regarding her breaking up with Morgan. Nell says she didn’t say anything, and Kiki tells her that both Carly and Michael knew about her plans and were furious at first, but now they’re being kind. They’ll never forget though, and she doesn’t blame them. She says the loss and hurt stay with you. Nell agrees.

Michael tells Sonny that he and Nell are just friends. He says he’s sorry that he didn’t take better care of Sonny, but Nell pinch-hit and he wants to return the favor.

The driver thinks Curtis and Jason are cops because they’re asking about Julian. Curtis says his partner is crazy and took his anger out on the van with a tire iron. Jason says he used to do what he was told. but one morning woke up with a chip in his brain, and now gets urges to hit something or someone until the voices go away. He suggests the driver tell them what he knows about Julian.

Julian says, back so soon? to Alexis and she tells him drop dead. He says had she hit someone else, they might not be so understanding. He says he’s not trying to extort anything from her (no, just her time and emotion) or have her do criminal acts; he just wants her to help him.

Laura tells Santa he has a five-minute break and closes the door. He asks what she’d like for Christmas. She wonders if it’s cliche to say world peace. He says that’s out of his league. She says peace of mind then, and he says he can work with that. She asks what’s going on with Charlotte. He tells Laura that she’s well-adjusted considering the upheaval. Laura says she also adores her father, and has no idea what Valentin is capable of.

Valentin and Nina have taken Charlotte to Kelly’s. Nina has Charlotte go to pick out a cookie, and Valentin thanks Nina for her interception. She says he could have held his own with Lulu. He says when someone puts that much energy into not liking you, you have to walk on egg shells. Nina wonders why Lulu wants to get so involved, and says they have to protect Charlotte.

Sam and Molly enter Kelly’s. Sam sees Valentin and stops short. She tells Molly who Valentin is.

Lulu tells Dante that when she saw Charlotte, something came over her. She was immediately drawn to her and can’t explain it. Dante says he thinks he can.

Carly tells Nell sorry she’s late and that it’s been a stressful day. She says she went to see Sonny. Nell asks how he seemed, and Carly says distracted. She tells Nell that she gave her the night off for the gala, and she’s glad Michael has a friend like her.

Michael thinks Sonny and Carly’s relationship is getting better, and that Carly came there to see him, no matter what excuse she gave. He says it’s only a matter of time before they’re back together, and she doesn’t want to punish him for something he didn’t do.

Dante tells Lulu that Charlotte has been bounced around like a pinball. Lulu says that she also recently found out they lost their chance to have another child. Dante tells her that she’s a caring person and Charlotte has been through a lot, so her instincts kicked in; she wants to protect Charlotte. Lulu says she’s sure he must be right, but I’m not buying that she believes it.

Valentin tells Nina how lovely she looks. He mentions that she said “we” need to take care of Charlotte. She apologizes for the presumption, but he says it means the world to him. Nina tells him that she’s completely taken with Charlotte and her adorableness. She says it’s no secret that she wants a child, but this has nothing to do with that; she wants what’s best for her. Valentin says he’s thanking his lucky stars. He could have easily walked past Nina the night they met in the hotel. There was something about her though. She’s charming and beautiful, but it’s more than that. Most people have an agenda, but she’s honest about who she is and what she wants, and he likes her.

Outside Kelly’s, Molly tells Sam that she wants to give Valentin a piece of her mind. Sam says he’ll just say it’s a misunderstanding and besides, they have their own family issues to deal with. She tells Molly that Alexis was visiting Julian, and she’s not believing the reason. She thinks Alexis still has a soft spot for him.

Alexis asks Julian what he wants help with. He says he’ll need it when he gets home from the hospital, and she says they have nurses for that. He says he’ll need help with things like shaving, brushing his teeth, and showering. Um…I think they do that too. Alexis asks if this is his ultimate form of punishment, for her to spend every waking hour with him. He says she didn’t used to feel like that, and she says holding a knife to someone’s throat ruins a relationship. He tells her that if anyone finds out she’s the one who hit him, she won’t only lose her license, she’ll lose her freedom.

Jason wants to know what happened the night of the bomb. The driver says it was his assignment to park there. His boss Julian told him to do it.

Nell asks if Carly is worried about Sonny. Carly says there’s something on his mind, and now that she knows he’s not responsible for Morgan’s death… Nell says she thinks they belong together. Nell’s phone rings. It’s Sonny. He tells Nell they need to talk.

Doc tells Laura that Valentin might have been right in saying they’ll always be connected. He says Charlotte is Nicholas’s cousin. Laura says Nicholas is gone, and there’s no more connection. She adds that as much as she hates being involved with Valentin, part of her feels compelled to look out for Charlotte because she is Nicholas’s family, making her part of Laura’s family as well. Doc says she has amazing generosity of spirit and it’s one of the reasons he loves her. A kid bangs on the door saying Santa’s break is over.

Dante asks if Lulu is okay. She says it’s something about Charlotte, and then says never mind.

Nina tells Valentin that she was thinking about Charlotte’s Christmas wish. She says not even a purple unicorn can make up for missing your mother. He says between them, they can make a fine Christmas for her. I’d love to see some kind of A Christmas Carol story with this bunch.

Molly thinks maybe Alexis can get some closure in seeing Julian. Sam says Julian is a narcissist who is encouraged by any attention. Molly says it’s better than Alexis starting to thaw (theme for today). Sam hopes that Alexis knows what she’s doing.

Julian asks Alexis if they have a deal. Alexis says fine. She says no one will believe it though, since everyone knows how much she hates his guts, but he says she can make something up. She says she’s figured it out and they have a deal. That was fast.

Curtis tells Jason that the psycho act was great. The driver is most likely in Canada by now. Jason says he’s probably more worried about Julian than him. Jason says it won’t take long for Julian to figure things out, and Curtis says Julian planted the bomb in his own car. Just in case we haven’t been paying attention.

Tomorrow, Anna asks Andre for help, Lulu wants to know why she feels so strongly about Charlotte, and a gathering happens on Spoon Island.

Below Deck

I’ve decided Ben is kind of an a-hole, which is too bad because I liked him up until now. Anyone who blames someone else for how they act is just, no.

Kate complains to Ben about the stews taking breaks before their work is done. Sierra gets offended because anyone born after 1985 gets offended by just about anything. Kate says it isn’t that they don’t have an amazing team, she just wants them to hit it out of the park for the last charter. When the guests leave, the boat has to look perfect. Ben thinks Kate should be more respectful of people’s breaks. By that I assume he means Emily’s breaks.

Dawn and her guests are doing the snorkeling thing. Nico and Kyle just want to get finished. Kyle says Sierra is an idiot, and Nico points out that he thought she was cool before he found out that she wasn’t into him. Lauren and Kyle talk about hating the job until it’s over; then they love it. In her interview, Lauren says no matter how much they bicker, the crew really loves each other. Um…I dunno about that. Nico says Sierra and Kyle’s fight has nothing to do with him, the same way his altercations with Kate have nothing to do with Kyle, who thinks Kate is awesome.

Sierra has to get a hug from Emily because, see above. She thinks Kate is just looking for things to criticize them about. Emily and Ben chat about finally getting sprung. In her interview, Emily says they’ll see how it goes, as far as having a relationship on the outside. Ha-ha! I’m making it sound like they’re in jail.

Kate encourages Ben to have the food ready when the guests get back. He disagrees, saying they usually want to have a shower and cocktail first. He asks Emily what she thinks because she has so much experience. Emily doesn’t really want to get involved. Ben tells Kate that he’s the chef and calling the shots. He claims he has a valid reason. Kate tries to talk, but he says he’s going to do what he wants anyway. See what I mean?

The guests get back. They’re hungry. Kate tells Ben they’re starving. Captain Lee announces only 16 more hours left. Kate brings out the food and Dawn asks if the captain would like to join them for dinner. Kate tells Ben to keep the food coming. In his interview, Ben says Kate used to be a pleasure to work with. Kate tells the captain about the guests requesting his presence.

Kelley says they’ve grown as a team and now it’s over. He says they’re a highly dysfunctional family, but they’re a family. They promise to all keep in touch. Yeah, we all know how that goes.

Sierra asks Kate if she thinks they’re not working hard enough. Kate tells her about the lack of toilet paper in the guest bathrooms, which I agree is a huge no-no. She says she’s always given them compliments and doesn’t want to finish on a negative note. She mentions that she isn’t taking a break either. She thinks maybe Sierra needs to talk about something, but Sierra says no. Had your chance.

OMG – dinner! Clams or something. It looks amazing. And shrimp! The captain joins the guests. The guests fire questions at him. I find out that he has five children and is from Michigan. Kate compliments Ben on the calamari. She says she never knows which Ben she’s going to get and he says he’s 50 shades of Ben. Ha-ha! Everyone is happy for the moment. Dessert! Kyle says Ben and Kate either hate or love each other and it’s confusing. Kate tells Ben the worst day with him is better than the best day with some of the other chefs.

Kyle asks if Sierra had a mental breakdown. Kate says she tried to be nice, but felt disrespected. Kyle says he prefers to talk face to face, and doesn’t understand why the stews are so defensive with her. In his interview, Kyle says Kate had his back from day one. Kate says she’s done nothing to Nico and Lauren to warrant them talking behind her back, and they have no business questioning her decisions. She tells Kyle she doesn’t need to hear what the one stripe people think. Oh, snap.

Two hours and twenty-six minutes. Ben says he’s mentally moved on and is already in his apartment. The guests are the only ones who don’t want to leave. The captain thinks the Kelley/Nico team has done well.

The final meal! The blue water! The Jacuzzi! Sierra and Lauren gossip about Kate. Zzzzz….

Anchor is dropped and the ship docks. The guests are ready to go. Good-bys are said. Dawn gets emo with the captain who just wants it to be over. He tells everyone to head for the crew mess. This charter’s tip is 16K. The crew has made a total of $13,500 in tips all season. Captain Lee tells the crew to get the boat in better shape than when they got it.

Kate talks to Lauren and Nico. She says she’s heard what they said about how she’d tattled on them to the captain, but the captain found their mess all on his own. She says she had their back and doesn’t rat out the crew. However, she doesn’t appreciate giving them permission to use the boat and them turning the tables. Nico gets pissed and leaves. Lauren apologizes. In her interview, Kate says she’s disappointed. She says at least talk to her face. Nico complains to Kelley who’s staying out of it.

Ashley shows up, and everyone gets ready to go out. The girls all look super cute. Ben wants to make amends with Kate, since she’s a great friend of his and they’re not working together anymore.

The crew goes to a restaurant and begins to drink. The food looks excellent, and I eat vicariously. Ben and Kate step aside to talk. Emily wonders wtf? She tells Sierra it’s confusing. She doesn’t know where they stand or where she stands with Ben. Sierra suggests she give him a chance and get to know him. She also thinks that Emily should say something.

Sierra asks Ben about his relationship with Kate. He says there’s no need to diagnose it. In his interview, he says now Emily is in the middle of all the emotion, and he doesn’t know how to deal with it. He asks Emily if she wants him to hate Kate forever, and says he’ll be mean to Kate just for her. He says that he and Kate are better off as friends than colleagues, and she brings out a person he doesn’t want to be. He was hoping that Emily had a better grasp of the situation. What I think is that Ben is in love with Kate, and his attraction to Emily has become a problem. Not to mention, Kate is in a relationship.

Kyle comes thisclose to telling Ashley that she completes him. He wants to take things up a notch. He asks Kate for a ring. She’s wearing one that she says is worth two thousand bucks and he says he’ll give her a thousand. Deal. He says he’s proposed once before, but she threw the ring at him the same night. He takes Ashley aside and gets down on one knee. She says yes. Everyone cheers.

Ben acts rude to Kate. She asks if he’s okay. He’s obviously angry. She gives him a drink and he guzzles it. He tells her he doesn’t like working with her anymore. What a jerk he’s become. I hope Emily dumps him, but she’s kind of stupid, so maybe he deserves her. He tells Kate that they’re better off as friends. She says she doesn’t like working with him that much either. She thinks the booze is talking, and she’s tired of hearing it. He says Emily just grilled him about their relationship. Kate tells him that he’s rude, and in her interview, she says that he’s so self-destructive, it’s embarrassing.

Back at the boat, Ashley and Kyle get the guest cabin. Ben gossips with Nico and Lauren. Idiots.

In the morning Ben approaches Kate and apologizes. He says he’s sorry if he ruined her evening. She says it’s typical. He tells her that they’ve come a long way together and he values their friendship. He says he loves her and he’ll always have her back. He asks for a hug, but in her interview, she says the friendship isn’t salvageable.

Lauren tells Nico what great friends they are. Hugs. I think she thinks they’ll still get together one day. Kate says you need a thick skin to work on a boat, and she doesn’t think Sierra has it. Sierra is proud of herself, but thinks she does need to toughen up. Nico and Kelley do the bro thing. Kyle pays Kate for the ring. She expects an invite to the wedding. Kyle can’t wait to have a proper bacon sandwich with HP sauce, which is a brown sauce kind of like Worcestershire.

Kelley tells Kate that he tried to emulate her. In her interview, she thinks he did an amazing job. Kelley talks to the captain, saying he tried to redeem himself, and thinks he did better. I’m not sure by Captain Lee’s face if he’s in agreement, but he says Kelley has progressed incredibly. Kelley is shocked and so am I, and he thanks the captain for his help. Captain Lee says he’d love to work with him again, and Kelley thanks him for the second chance.

Ben apologizes to Emily. He says he felt like a bit of a d*ck. That’s because he was, and more than a bit of. He says she’s the last person he’d want to insult, and he thinks she’s special. In her interview, she says that she’ll give him another chance, but be wary. They kiss. Ben leaves with the flowers and leaves them on the deck so that everyone can trip over them.

In his interview, Ben says that Emily probably hates him, but he’s going to try to make a go of it. She takes a rose out of the flowers. Ben says being in a relationship and doing his job was probably more than he could chew, but he did it, and was a solid seven. By my estimation, he was more like a shaky three.

Kate says good by to the captain. As she leaves, he tells her that she still looks like a guest more than the chief stew.

Captain Lee says this season was tough. We flash back to some of the highlights. He says the bottom line is that the guests left happy and they made a ton of money. Without a doubt, he has the best damn job in the world.

This was the finale. They usually have a reunion, but as of the last one, hadn’t been elevated out of the clubhouse yet.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Kyle’s closet is everything. LisaV calls. They’re planning on meeting at PUMP, and Kyle jokes as to whether they allow the wearing of Birkenstocks (at least I think she’s joking), and asks who’s going to be there. She doesn’t know the couple, but says Boy George loves them. Kyle is friendly with him and says everybody knows everybody in Beverly Hills.

Erika discusses her new song with husband Tom. It’s at number eight, and she says her career is growing. He says he wants to give her a birthday present early. She’s have a big blowout for her 45th. In her interview, she jokes (again, I’m not positive) that it’s all downhill from here. I have news for her. That’s 55 when the slide starts. Tom says she has things for her fingers and ears, but he’s giving her something for her eyes. A Chagall. Eh. It’s okay. She asks if it’s hers or theirs since Chagall is one of his favorites. To be on the safe side, he gives her something else. He gives her an envelope. She asks if it’s a legal doc, but inside there’s a picture of a Cartier panther ring that he has on order.

Harrison! With LisaV, but where’s my Giggy? Giggy! Ken has him. Harrison is a rescue that Lisa is having a passionate affair with. New Housewife Dorit and her husband PK join them at PUMP, along with Kyle and Mauricio. Dorit’s husband is a talent manager who manages Boy George. Dorit says he’s been living with them for a while and is like her gay husband. She tells the group about how she met her husband.

Kyle brings up Erika’s birthday party. Lisa talks about how she and Dorit first met. They talk about Dubai. Ken says he felt like he was there from all the weepy phone calls he got from Lisa. In her interview, Lisa talks about how miserable she was during the trip, being grilled by LisaR. She says that LisaR was unusually aggressive, and Eileen backed her up. In her interview, Kyle says LisaV hangs on to things a long time, but doesn’t think she’s losing any sleep over it.

Harry brings LisaR a new car. It has one of those bows on it. She says this year is about having a good time. Last year was kind of negative. Her father passed away recently and it changed her outlook on everything. She says that she doesn’t have time to worry about old stuff and wants to concentrate on raising her daughters. She doesn’t have time for bullsh*t anymore. I’ll bet she lasts a whole five minutes.

Eileen meets Erika at a bar. Eileen says that Erika might have a flashy persona, but she’s a girl’s girl. Eileen lost her mother just prior to the reunion, but hasn’t really said anything about it. She tells Erika that it’s affected everything that happened last season, making it trivial. Kyle joins them. They discuss Yolanda, who says that she’s 75% better, but taking time to rest, recover, and look after herself. Kyle is working on her new TV show, and they’re deep into casting right now.

Kyle wonders if the two Lisas are going to be okay eventually. Erika says everything can be worked out if everybody wants to work it out. I guess that’s pretty much true for any conflict. Kyle says she never wants to hear bi-polar, manipulative, Munchhausen, own it, or sniper again. I agree, especially Munchhausen.

Dorit is getting her makeup done, while PK’s assistant discusses their schedule. Dorit wants to make sure there’s time for the kids. Boy George comes in. She says in their house he’s more like Uncle George, but diva does come out occasionally. They’re getting ready to do Jimmy Kimmel‘s show.

Erika is having a Studio 54 party for her birthday. Disco balls are everywhere, and there’s going to be a velvet rope with Pussy Control manning the door. We flash back to LisaV’s Poison Arrow video. Lisa says the end of the 80’s marked the end of her single life. In her interview, LisaR talks about Iman being at Studio 54, and everyone goes down 80’s Memory Lane.

LisaV and Kyle meet for a kiki at Dorit’s house. Giggy! Kyle talks about hanging out with Andy Warhol and Rick James as a kid, because her mother didn’t follow the rules.

I want to have a fabulous 80’s party just like this one, but I don’t think Tom will fund the bill for me. Erika gets crazy over everyone’s outfits. She opens her gift from Eileen. It’s a part on Eileen’s show, The Young and the Restless. Coolest. Present. Ever. Erika is worried that they’ll fire Eileen if she sucks. They talk about the soaps.

LisaV introduces Dorit. Lisa asks Tom if he’s wearing something Studio 54 under his suit. I gotta say, Tom seems like a really nice guy, and he and Erika are obviously in love. Eileen and LisaR discuss LisaV. LisaR says she’d rather be better than bitter. Yeah, we’ll see. Dorit says she considers herself a New Yorker, but she’s lived all over the place. In her interview, she says Beverly Hills is a little too much carrot juice and Botox. Agreed. She invites Erika to her upcoming birthday party.

The two Lisas meet, and the conversation is stilted. In her interview, LisaV says that LisaR changed the dynamic of their relationship, and they’d have to do a lot of work to get it back to where it was. Eileen says anything is possible. Look what happened after the Viet Nam war, everyone goes there for vacation now.

The guests mingle and dance. Mauricio talks to Tom about the plane he just bought. Tom brings out another present for Erika – her mother. Erika introduces her mom around. In her interview, Erika talks about her mother having her at 18, and her father leaving before she was one-year-old.

Eileen thinks LisaV is giving her the cold shoulder. Dorit invites Eileen and her husband to her party. Dorit is trying to figure out how Eileen is the same woman that Lisa has talked about. Everyone is starving and glad to see the cake come out. It’s cute, layered stars. LisaV says she thinks she saw a deviled egg and should have grabbed it. Erika is thrilled with the evening.

The girls dance. LisaV says that Eileen and LisaR would be happier if she wasn’t in their friend circle, but she’s coming back, stronger than ever.

Next time, Erika hires dancers, LisaV gets a horse, and Dorit’s birthday party happens.

✈ Ladies of London honorable mention. Marissa had the smallest baby ever, but all is well. Caroline #1 seems to be at odds with everyone. I think she has too much time on her hands since Gift Library closed. She needs a job or something else to occupy her. Julie is overwhelmed with running the Mapperton estate. The place is like a small village, and I don’t envy her dealing with the gift shop employees who have worked there since the earth cooled, and are less than helpful. And Caroline #2’s father is very sick with cancer. Since she’s a huge celebrity in Denmark, the press is very interested in her, and while on a trip there with Juliet, she makes the mistake of telling them about his illness when the family is quite private. We also see her OCDness in regard to beds being made correctly.

Nov30

November 29, 2016 – Bad Timing on GH, Some Good-Bys on ILYIW, a Good Final Charter for Below Deck & Hello to the London Ladies

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Julian has a visitor. He thinks it’s Alexis, but it’s Jordan. She tells him he had internal bleeding and some bone breakage, and just got out of surgery. Isn’t it the doctor’s job to update him on his condition? And why is she allowed to go in there alone when he just had surgery five minutes ago? She asks if he remembers what happened and he says he was hit by a car. She wants to know details, like who hit him.

Molly shows up at Alexis’s house early. She wonders what happened on Thanksgiving. She tells Alexis that she texted five times and there was no response. She wants to know what Alexis was doing out all night.

Finn is looking for Hayden and tells Tracy that it looks like she was out all night. Hayden comes in from the kitchen and wonders what the emergency is.

Obrecht and Franco are having breakfast. His face is in his phone and she tells him that he’s fallen into the mindless obsession of screens. Ha-ha! She wants to know what’s more important than her scintillating conversation. He says Tom Baker.

At the hospital, Bobbie gets flowers from Carly.

Sonny wakes up with Nell next to him. He’s like oh, geez. She says good morning, but it’s not like she’s smiling. Please, please, please don’t tell me she’s going to say he forced himself on her. I won’t be able to take it.

Finn chastises Tracy for telling him Hayden was upstairs. Tracy suggests installing a GPS chip in Hayden. Finn says Hayden’s bed looks like it hasn’t been slept in. Hayden tells him what a shock, since she made her bed after she got up. She says she’s feeling better and wants to go to work, but Finn says her test results came back.

Obrecht confuses Tom Baker with the actor from Dr. Who, and then realizes who Franco is talking about. Franco wonders if he should be judging Tom, but Obrecht says he doesn’t have an illness like Franco did. She says she’s glad he hasn’t risked his freedom by killing Tom, and asks why he’s watching him. The hospital tech has set it up so he can track Tom on his phone.

Alexis tells Molly that she underestimated how hard Thanksgiving would be. She wanted to clear her head and went for drive. She starts to clean things up and drops something. Molly asks if she’s okay, and she says no.

Julian tells Jordan that he remembers going to the bar, but after that, nothing. Jordan says the more details he can give her, the faster she can solve the case. She thinks there might be a connection to the bomb. She says it’s her duty to protect the citizens of Port Charles. even him.

Sonny asks Nell what happened, saying that he doesn’t remember anything. He says he’s been drinking since Morgan died and never blacked out before. He remembers Nell coming over and talking about Morgan. He says he remembers her getting the scotch, and wonders how they wound up sleeping together. Oh-ho! I guess she slipped him something. Maybe that’s why she was messing around with the photos; she was hiding it.

Carly congratulates Bobbie on returning to GH, and says the flowers are also a peace offering for their altercation about Nell. Bobbie says maybe she’s just being judgemental, but she has a bad feeling about Nell. Carly understands about something being too good to be true, but says just because they were lying schemers when they were young, doesn’t mean Nell is. Bobbie promises to wait until something actually happens before reacting.

Sonny is trying to figure it out. He says Nell is lovely and sweet, and no disrespect, but how did they wind up sleeping together? I guess that’s his way of saying she’s not his type. She says she helped him upstairs and put him to bed. She says they were both lonely, and one thing led to another. She starts to cry, and says she’s sorry, she never should have let it happen. He tells her no worries, but she wonders how she can look Carly in the face again.

Obrecht tells Franco to give up his fool’s errand. She says she isn’t Elizabeth’s greatest fan, but reminds him that Elizabeth is already upset about him going after Tom the first time. She takes his phone. She says Tom is a lump and not moving. He’s no threat, and Elizabeth doesn’t need to be rescued.

Elizabeth checks Julian’s vitals. She remembers being in the hospital herself, and he says he’s sorry about what happened with Paul. She says she had friends and family to help her, and he says he does’t have that luxury.

Finn tells Hayden that he’d hoped the antibiotics would help. She says maybe they did, since she’s feeling better. He says she tested positve for the same disease he has.

Nell says Carly is going to be angry and disappointed. She asks Sonny not to tell her. He says Carly will be angry with him, not her, but Nell says she doesn’t want Carly looking at her differently. She starts to cry again, and begs Sonny not to say anything. He tells her not to worry, he won’t. He might not have to. Carly calls to him from downstairs. Sonny says he’ll be right down. He tells Nell to stay put.

Hayden thanks Finn, but she still wants to go to work. He says they need to figure out what happens next. She says he does; she still has to earn a living. Tracy suggests that Hayden take the day off, but she says she’s not dying today, and she’ll see them when she gets back. Tracy asks Finn, now what?

Obrecht says Tom is most likely contemplating the futility of his own existence. Franco says, or his next move. Obrecht insists he’s no threat, but Franco says this guy is practically vibrating that he thinks he’s invincible. She thinks he should wait until Tom makes the first move, but he doesn’t want to take that chance. If he can’t protect Elizabeth within the confines of the law, he’ll do it another way. He says he can’t let anything happen to her and won’t.

Julian asks if he’s going to live, and Elizabeth says it appears so. He asks when he can leave. She tells him that he just got done with surgery and has broken bones. He’s going to need significant care, plus someone to look after him when he gets home. Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

Molly asks Alexis if something else happened. Alexis says the holidays are getting to her and it’s going to be a long month. Molly says it’s the worst month of Alexis’s life, and Alexis is impressed that Molly’s response is both hyperbole and an understatement. Molly says after the new year, Alexis has a chance to get her law life back.

There’s a knock at the door and Alexis says it must be opportunity. Nope, it’s Jordan. She says they need to talk about Julian.

Sonny comes downstairs. Carly says she wanted to check on him and see how he’s doing, since he was stuck by himself on Thanksgiving. He says he’s fine, and she says she also has to ask him a question.

Alexis asks Jordan what Julian has done now. Jordan says he’s in the hospital. She asks if it’s serious, and Jordan says he was hit by a car. Molly hopes he’s dead, I laugh, and Alexis chastises her. Alexis asks if they know who it was, but Jordan says not yet. Molly says if they find out, she’ll help raise money for his defense. She’s a real card today. Jordan says he was having a drink in a bar outside of Port Charles, but has no recollection of the accident. She’s concerned it was another attempt on his life, and wonders if there’s a connection to the car bomb. Alexis says you can never be too careful.

Obrecht tells Franco that he’s actually an honorable man, but until Tom makes a move, he can’t do anything. As if he heard her, Tom makes a move.

Elizabeth sees Hayden banging on the vending machine. She asks if everything is all right.

Sonny asks Carly what’s on her mind, and she asks if Jason has come up with anything in his investigation. Sonny says no leads, but he’s working on it. Carly asks to be kept posted. Sonny repeats what Carly had told him, that whether it was him or not, their son is still dead. Carly says it doesn’t honor him for her to punish Sonny, so she’s going to stop. Great timing, Carly.

Carly apologizes and says Morgan would want them to do better and be kind to each other. She says she spent the day thinking about previous holidays, and they go down Morgan Memory Lane. Carly says she kept staring at the door on Thanksgiving, hoping he would come in. Sonny says he’s the same way. She says Christmas is around the corner. She knows they have to keep up appearances for the kids, but she’ll be going through the same thing he is, so maybe they can look out for each other and make each other feel better.

Tracy tells Finn that could have gone better, but at least Hayden is feeling positive. He says she needs to come back to reality, and that she’s in a state of denial. Tracy says there’s nothing she can do, and too bad he quit GH when he did. Finn says he had no choice. He says what Brad found is keeping him alive, and now it will have to keep Hayden alive too. Tracy asks if he has enough, and he says not even close.

Elizabeth approaches Hayden. She starts to cry, and Elizabeth hugs her.

Alexis thanks Jordan, but doesn’t know how she can help. Jordan says Sonny is a person of interest. She says Alexis and Julian are divorced, but Julian keeps declaring his love, which makes her a target. Jordan tells her to live her life, but be careful. Alexis says she’ll do her best. Jordan leaves, and Molly asks if Alexis is okay, suggesting she needs retail therapy. Alexis keen on crowded stores and bumping up against strangers, but tells Molly to have a good time. As soon as Molly is gone,  Alexis says she isn’t sure if she believes in God, but if He’s up there, thank you. Julian calls, and I wonder if she silently takes back her thanks.

Julian says she didn’t expect to hear from him, did she? She says she heard he’s in the hospital, and asks how he’s feeling. He says he’ll live, but he’s had better days. He wants her to visit him. She says she can’t, but he says she owes him that much.

Tracy wants to check her contacts. She tells Finn that she’ll find the drug he needs in a country where it’s legal, and have it sent. Finn doesn’t want her risking it. She says he’s not in this alone. Finn says he appreciates it, but it’s a problem he needs to solve. He doesn’t want to lose anyone else. Tracy says she doesn’t want to lose him, and he doesn’t want to lose Hayden. He says he’s not resting until he finds a cure.

Franco is agitated, and Obrecht tells him to calm down. He says a predator is on the loose, and wonders if this is how people felt about him. Obrecht says that she imagines some still might. He sees Tom is headed for the hospital.

Hayden says Elizabeth is the last person she wants to be with right now and walks away.

Carly tells Sonny that she can’t imagine how lonely he must be, and he says it’s better than being in a cell. She tells him to call her. She sees the two glasses on the table, and asks who was there with him.

Tomorrow, Carly wants to be honest, Valentin meets with Nina, and Griff asks Nathan about Claudette.

If Loving You is Wrong

We go back to last week’s ending – Randal pleading with Rusty, and Rusty telling him shut up, boy. One of Rusty’s boys smacks Randal with a shovel. Rusty tells them to hurry up and they tell him to keep his pants on. Randal isn’t down for long, and says he can give Rusty money. Rusty asks where he’d get money, and Randal says he’s a doctor. Rusty says there are no Black doctors and no one watching even knows what to say. He insists Randal must be a drug dealer. Randal begs again for Rusty not to hurt his son.

Rusty tells his boys they’re good for nothing, and tells Randal to shut up again. Okay, can we move on? For whatever reason, Rusty’s boys can’t deal with some chain. We hear the baby cry. He’s lying on the front lawn, and Randal moves toward him. Virginia comes onto the porch and tells him that he’d better not. She says he’s going to die. She lights up a cigarette to emphasize how bad she is.

She says she knows he didn’t rape Alex, but he’d better not tell Rusty she said it, and no way is she going to help him. She tells him he should have stuck to his own kind. Randal says they’re in love, and Virginia says Alex doesn’t love him. He says in her heart she does, and Virginia asks why Alex would have come to them for help then. Alex told them he was trying to take the baby from her. She asks him why they would have gone through all this trouble except for her. Randal can’t believe Alex would do something like that.

The baby is crying, and Randal asks if she can at least pick him up. Virginia says she wouldn’t dare; Rusty would knock her sideways. He says he knows she’s not this person, and she asks how he would know who she is. He asks if Rusty was her first love, and then asks if she had to settle for him. Oh, that’s right, he’s a shrink. He says she had big dreams and ended up there. He starts talking about her parents which is always the root of the problem. She asks if Alex told him or is he a witch. He says he just knows people. She calls him a witch in black and says good thing Rusty is going to hang him. She says they’re going to hang him and take him to Alligator Alley and drop his body in, and the boy too. Randal starts to beg agina, but she goes inside.

Rusty tells Randal to back away from the baby like he’s a baby alarm. You are too close to the baby! Step away from the baby!

Meanwhile, back at the station, Steven gets a message from Andrew. He’s out of area, so Steven tells the operator to call Andrew’s cell. She says he’s in good hands; Eddie is with him. She says Eddie went to back him up, but said not to tell Steven. Steven asks if Andrew has Alex with him, and she says she thinks so. She makes calls to both Eddie and Andrew, but they go to voicemail.

At Alex’s house, Kelly paces, and Marcie asks what’s wrong. Kelly returns the question and Marcie says she’s just tired. Kelly says she’s worried about Alex, and wishes someone would get back. Marcie asks who’s on her porch. It’s Travis. Marcie is about to invite him in, but Kelly says no. Kelly makes sure the door is locked, and tells Marcie that Travis is acting strange. She says he broke into her house and he’s been stalking her. Marcie wants her to call the police, but she says she’ll be okay. She wonders if she led him on, and Marcie tells her not to be one of those women who blame themselves, and to call the police. Now. Kelly takes out her phone.

Lushion’s phone rings, and Natalie tells him to answer it. She says Joey has been stable and his phone has been blowing up. He goes into the hallway. It’s Kelly. She asks about Joey, and then says she might need a restraining order. She asks him to keep it between them, and tells him what Travis has been up to and that he’s been acting crazy. He asks if she’s safe, and she says she thinks so. He says he can’t come right now, but he’ll send someone he trusts. She asks if Ramses said anything about leaving, and Lushion says no. She tells him that Travis told her that Ramses was gone for good, like he knew something. Kelly says there was a sign on Ramses’s door saying he went back to Utah, but it seemed weird to her. She asks him to check. Lushion says he has the key and he’ll send it with Officer Rick. Kelly says she’ll pray for Joey, and they hang up. Marcie tells her she did the right thing, and what Travis is doing isn’t okay. Kelly knows Marcie is holding something back and says she’ll spill it eventually.

Lushion calls Steven. He asks Steven to send Rick to Kelly’s, and do a sweep of both of their houses. He can pick up the keys at the hospital. Steven tells Lushion about Andrew, and how he thinks Eddie got involved. Now he can’t get either one on the phone. Lushion says they need to take him down now. They have more than enough to take the whole department down. Steven says he almost has the cartel and they can’t risk it. Lushion says Eddie is running amok, and they don’t even know where Pete is. He says to make sure Michael finds him. Steven asks about Joey, and says they’re going out to Alex’s parents’. Lushion tells him to call it in to FBI headquarters; it’s a kidnapping. Steven says Eddie is already on to him, but Lushion insists. He can’t believe the way his night is going.

Natalie asks what’s going on, and Lushion says nothing. Ha-ha! She says she knows him, and he needs to go take care of whatever. He refuses to leave, and she wants to know what’s up. He tells her about Alex’s parents kidnapping Randal and the baby. He says he’s sending some guys from the FBI. She asks if Eddie is there, and when Lushion says yes, she insists he go. He tells her to call him if there’s any change.

The police arrive. Kelly sees that they’re going to her house, and she peeks out the door. No Travis. Rick introduces himself and asks what the deal is. She says it’s her ex, and explains about Travis breaking into her house. She asks if she’s over-reacting, and Rick says not if he broke in. Duh. She says he’s just a kid and she doesn’t know this side of him. Rick says he’ll make a report, and to call if anything else happens. He’s going to Ramses’s house and Kelly wants to come, but he tells her to stay there.

Rick shines his flashlight in the windows and knocks on the door. He asks if anyone is home and goes inside. He comes back out pretty quickly. Kelly asks if everything is okay and he tells her to get inside immediately. He radios for back-up. Kelly tells Marcie that something happened to Ramses.

Commercial break with important information. The Haves and the Have Nots is back on Tuesday, January 3 at 9 pm.

Rusty’s boys can’t get the boat off the hitch. Rusty goes to get the saw. I guess Rusty’s hitch is rusty.

Randal asks Virginia to pick up the baby, and she says she’s not picking “that thing” up. He says the baby is cold, and she tells him being cold is the least of its worries. She says she’s not touching him or Randal. He says he’ll pay her. She’s another one who can’t fathom that he has money. She asks how much. He says 100 grand. She thinks this over. He asks if she can’t use the money, and she acts like it’s an insult and tells him he has nothing they want.

Virginia goes over to Rusty. It would be really funny if she got the boat unhitched. She tells Rusty that Randal says he has money, 100K. Rusty says Randal is going to die and he doesn’t want anything from him. He sees Randal moving toward the baby and kicks him. A police car drives in. It’s Alex.

Virginia gives Rusty his gun and Alex tells them to give her the child. Randal calls to Alex and Rusty fires a shot near him. Alex says she’s not going without her baby. Virginia says that Alex laid with that trash and now she’s saying please. She says it’s a sin before God and she can’t love the baby. They have to let him die so she can get forgiveness and go to heaven. Alex tells Rusty she’s sorry. Rusty tells her to put a bullet in Randal’s head. Virginia tells Rusty not to trust her, but he says she’s his daughter. Alex says she can’t, and he says she’s not sorry then. He says she brought this to them. She says she’s sorry, and he asks what she’s sorry for. She says she’s sorry she slept with Randal. Rusty is like, what? and she says she’s sorry she let him rape her.

Randal protests, and Alex pops him one in the head. Virginia tells Rusty not to trust her, but he gives her the gun. Randal begs – a lazy acting week for him, since he had hardly any lines to learn – and Alex says it’s for her son. He keeps telling her please don’t. She can’t. Rusty says she’s always been soft-hearted like her mom, but he’s going to teach her different. Another police car pulls up. It’s Eddie. Great. Just what this party needs.

Rusty asks what he’s doing there, and he says he came to watch. He says Alex’s husband is his best friend and Randal raped her. Randal is like, Eddie, please, and Eddie says go ahead and beg. He asks if he can have the pleasure, and Rusty says sure, but they have to get the boat in the water first. Because – he says it – it’s rusty. Eddie shoots the chain and the boat is free. Boy, they are stupid. Everybody has a gun and no one thought of that.

They put the noose around Randal’s neck. He’s all noooo! and they drag him off, Eddie in the lead. Eddie throws the rope over a tree branch and they hoist Randal up. Police sirens are heard, and they all take off, and I laugh. Randal drops to the ground, and there’s a shoot out.

I hope someone picked up the baby. Everyone runs everywhere and everyone is shooting. Steven and Lushion are there too. It’s a total free-for-all. Eddie shoots Rusty in the back (good riddance), and then acts like he was after them the whole time. He starts yapping about Andrew being missing like he’s concerned. Man, I hope Randal spills the beans on that a-hole. Brad drives up. Why not?

Someone did pick up the baby. Virginia is in the boat, out on the lake, holding the baby over the water by one of his feet. Alex cries and screams. Lushion says take the shot, and an officer shoots.

Season finale.

Below Deck

Kate video chats with Ro. She thinks the other stews are being lackadaisical because it’s the end of the season, but if they want the last tip, she says they have to do the last few days of work.

Kelly is upset about Captain Lee feeling he’s not up to the task of his job.

Ben says it was nice to become more comfortable with Emily, so I guess their friend date went well.

Kyle and Nico talk about Ashley coming to visit. Nico asks if Kyle told her about asking Sierra out. Kyle says he did, but Ashley took it well and just thought Sierra was an idiot. Hmm… I think there was more to the conversation than that.

Time for hearing about the next guests. Dawn is the primary, with a group of former models who all have a lifestyle blog together. Their only requirements are a photo shoot and a thank you dinner for Dawn. Kate says there’s a lot of potential for Kelley. In his interview, he says he has experience with older women and knows what the ladies like and it’s him. He talks about being 26 and dating a 42-year-old. Oh yeah? When I was 19, I dated a 40-year-old.

The crew gets the boat ready,and Captain Lee asks Kelley to assemble the deck crew. He wants to end things on a positive note. He says this charter should be a piece of cake. He tells Kelley to give the guests guidance – away from using the pool, which has been troublesome all season. He tells them to use Kate’s playbook. If Ben doesn’t have something, she steers the guests away from it. Nico translates that to causing someone to believe something when they don’t actually believe it.

Kate compares the crews’ radios to egg babies. She says Sierra and Emily have been great all season, but they suddenly have senior-itis. In her interview, Sierra wonders where this is coming from. Emily seems puzzled too, but I’m not. I don’t blame Kate when she couldn’t even take a break last charter because the captain had to hunt down indoor help.

Ben rubs Emily’s shoulders as Kate radios for her. See? They kis,s and Kate radios that they’re all fired, hoping to get someone’s attention. It’s not just Emily though. Everyone is leaving their radios everywhere. The crew gets ready to greet the guests. Kelley asks Kate for advice about the pool, and she suggests he say it’s more for babies and older people. Good one. The captain tells them to act like they’ve done this before.

Kate does the boat tour. Ben gets lunch ready. The guests are dressed beautifully. Lots of paisley in bright colors. The Valor shoves off. The guests consult their photographer. Kate says the guests are so happy, it’s annoying, but with every beverage served, she’s that much closer to freedom.

Kelley and Nico talk to the guests about the toys. Kelley goes through the list, and downplays the pool. The ladies say definitely on the slide, and after that, he can choose. Ben is doing a quinoa dish “because models love that sh*t.” I do too, and I’m not a model. Now where’s that brownie chaser?

Ben tells Kate they should see if they can avoid having any arguments this charter. Kate suggests avoiding to keep from being annoyed. Yep. The Valor drops anchor. Kate finds Sierra’s radio in one of the guest bedrooms. She attaches the girls’ radios to them. In her interview, Kate says they say brains and beauty are a hard combination to find, and Sierra is very pretty, so pretty…

Lunchtime! Next to seeing how much the tip is, my favorite part of the show is to eat vicariously. Emily and Ben flirt in the galley. In his interview, he’s not sure if they’re “an item,” but he knows he likes her. In her interview, Kate says she appreciates the budding romance that is Bemily, but they still have to focus on work.

Dawn makes a toast about women inspiring women. Kate says she feels like she’s in a Lifetime movie. In her interview, she says being an independent woman isn’t sitting on a yacht talking about independence, but I dunno. It can be. The guests talk about giving back.

Emily and Sierra tidy the rooms. Kelley talks to Ben, who thinks it’s been a great season. Kelley does some weird dance and says he’s letting loose. Kate looks on skeptically, and slightly disapproving.

Captain Lee is happy with the team of Nico and Kelley. The guests use the slide, and it looks like a load of fun. Sierra tells Emily that she feels disrespected, but she doesn’t want to make a big deal since it’s the last charter.

A glorious sunset happens, and Ben gets dinner ready. Kyle doesn’t like the way Sierra eats dinner. More radio hyjinks. Kyle gets sulky when Sierra touches his radio and he thinks she’s accusing him of taking hers. She calls him a child, and he calls her an f-ing idiot. Nice. She complains to Emily that he’s petty. In her interview, she says he’s still holding a grudge because she wasn’t into him. They start to argue and Nico tells them to knock it off, reminding them that it’s the last charter.

Kelley tells Kyle to be a man and fix it. Big baby Kyle doesn’t want to apologize, saying Sierra is a psychopath, and that she probably has an ex-boyfriend’s body parts stashed away. I’m speechless yet again tonight.

The photographer leaves, and the ladies sit down to dinner. Kyle complains to Kelley about Sierra, but Kelley tells him that in confined places, they have to get along. Kelley tells Sierra that it was her delivery that was wrong. She says every time she deals with him, it’s an unpleasant encounter and she doesn’t want to talk to him anymore. Kelley says she’s being rude right now. She says she only has a problem with him and Kyle, and Kelley says just let it go. He and Kyle complain about her as soon as she leaves.

Sierra tells Kate about Kyle’s reaction to her picking up his radio. In her interview, Kate says the only thing she has time for is the job they’re supposed to be doing. Sierra says Kelley will probably apologize now. Kelley overhears and says not this time. He tells her that he was actually trying to get Kyle to apologize to her when she went off on him.

Dinner is served. Chilean sea bass. I’m in. The women cheer Ben’s food. Kate tells Ben they want to meet him, so he comes up along with the dessert. More applause and accolades. And hugs. The way to a woman’s heart is through her stomach. Truth.

Lauren and Nico talk about yachting. Kyle talks about Sierra being mental. Lauren thinks Kate is a sh*t stirrer. Ben can’t sleep. He tells Kate that he doesn’t have much anxiety though. He says Kate’s been nicer to him, and she says it’s because she’s been avoiding him. Ha-ha! In his interview, Ben says Kate is an easy person to work with. Like Attila the Hun.

The guests have breakfast and the stews are supposed to be tidying the cabins, but Sierra is busy scarfing down some toast. Kelley thinks the deckhands are just getting into stride and the stews are falling apart. One of the guests bothers Captain Lee and wants to see the anchor come up, so he palms her off on Kelley.

Kate tells Ben how much time they have left down to the second. She says oddly enough, she’s least annoyed with him out of everyone. Sierra complains about the deckhands asking her to do their chores. Kelley gets notified and relays a complaint from Kate. Kate says that just because these guests aren’t Dean, doesn’t mean they shouldn’t get Dean service. Ben jokes that he’d planned on giving them bad service tonight. In his interview, he says Kate is there to spoil everyone’s day again.

The guests are going to the Baths on the mainland. I don’t know what that is, but it sounds great. The deckhands put snorkeling gear in the small boat, and Kate makes a cocktail for the guests before departure. She loves when they go to the Baths because they’re gone for a solid three hours. Kate finds two of the guest bathrooms have no toilet paper, and I’d be livid if I was her. That’s a huge no-no when you’re paying that much money. I wouldn’t expect that from a Day’s Inn. She discusses the situation with Sierra and Emily, and tells them to shiny up the rooms. After they leave, Kate complains to Ben.

In her interview, Sierra thinks she’s worked hard all season, and this is bullsh*t.

Next time, the season finale (sniff), Ben wants to be naughty, Kyle proposes to Ashley, and Ben doesn’t want to work with Kate anymore.

✈  Ladies of London is back. Joan Collins Sophie is now a full cast member. Julie has the tremendous task of taking over her husband’s family’s estate. She’s feeling the pressure of eventually becoming the Countess of Sandwich. I’m not making that up. She’s concerned that if she fails at this task, it will be a black mark against all Americans. Marissa is pregnant. It’s a girl with a side of complications, and has to come into the world two months early. Caroline #1 has turned 40, and since losing her business last season, is basically a housewife. She and her husband are moving to Dubai. Sister-in-law Alexis Carrington Sophie and Caroline’s brother are getting divorced, although that hasn’t interfered with their friendship. Caroline #2‘s father has cancer, causing her to divide her time between Denmark and England. In the first episode, there’s already an altercation between Caroline #1 and Julie, with kibitzing from Juliet, probably because Caroline is jealous of Julie’s friendship with her almost ex-SIL. I’ll keep you mini-posted.

Nov10

November 9, 2015 — GH, London & Gratuitous Pups

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Paul and Ava are grappling on the desk, but since they know how desperately I want to get back to that wedding, they cut things short. Anna is at Paul’s office door. Exit Ava.

Sonny complains about the wheelchair access at the courthouse. Rick has his Clark Kent look going on.

Heeeere we go! Jason enters the church with Carly. Elizabeth babbles like an idiot about getting on with the wedding, since Carly is okay. Jason says, so sorry, he’s got bigger news. He thinks he knows who he is. Thinks. Come on man, accept it now.

Commercial break that I can barely sit through.

Ava arrives at the courthouse and wonders why Carly isn’t there, suggesting maybe Carly doesn’t want the baby. Ric tells Sonny not to lose his cool. Neither Sonny nor Julian have been able to get Kiki to come. Julian suggests that Ava work something out with Sonny, but she says that if she doesn’t get full custody, he’ll make sure she never sees Avery again.

Paul tells Anna that he has a strategy for dealing with Ava. Is that what they’re calling it now? A strategy?  Anna says she might as well confess to killing Carrrlos. Paul is like, go ahead, and shows her a picture of Emma on his phone.

Just as the hearing is about to start, Kiki walks in. Ava thinks Kiki came for her, but I’m thinking probably not. Her real name is Lauren? How did they get Kiki out of that?

Elizabeth continues to babble. Sam sees that Carly has Spinelli’s wonderful laptop, and Carly says the program finished. Sam asks who “Jake” is and he says it. He finally says he’s Jason Morgan, but it’s through clenched teeth. He really does not want to be Jason. The sad part is, this is probably going to be the highlight of my week and it’s only Monday.

At the hearing, Morgan is up first. Scotty says that Sonny sent Morgan away to boarding school and Morgan says that was his idea. I’m surprised the judge doesn’t burst out laughing.

Elizabeth is like, you’re Jason? How? Carly shows them the facial reconstruction and everyone is looking all around like they did on The Haunted Star when they showed the sizzle reel. Carly says they were all so convinced Jason was dead, they didn’t see the signs. Carly pulls out the DNA test. Nicholas looks like he has indigestion, and Elizabeth tries to be swallowed up by the earth. Sam is like, no way, but she’s forgetting the “vow renewal” at the Lucky Buddha or wherever it was, when the old blind lady insisted he was Jason. I’m hoping Hayden gets to have some kind of input here, although I like her with Nicholas, and that would probably put the kibosh on their relationship. I don’t want this episode to end. Ever.

Commercial break. Apparently having curly hair has something to do with whether you get on the cheerleading squad or not. What?

Anna says how dare Paul wave Emma’s photograph in her face? He says he’s trying to get her to see reason, but she says he knows if she confesses, he’ll be incriminated because he’s covering up something besides switching the bodies. She suggests he might arm Emma, but he gets indignant at the mere suggestion. He says he admires her bond with Emma and doesn’t want to see her go to prison for what was justifiable homicide. She says he’d better be telling the truth, and if he goes near Emma, he’s a dead man.

Morgan talks about Ave killing Connie. Scotty counters with Sonny having killed Michael’s biological father, AJ. Sonny says he did his time, and Ric tells the judge they’re going to be filing charges against Ava. The judge says the court can’t be concerned with kinda, sorta, and we’ll be filing charges some other time. In my head is Judge Judy saying, “I don’t care!” with her hands cupped around her mouth. Michael gets on the stand, and Scotty brings up how Michael originally tried to get custody of Avery because he thought Sonny was unfit. Truth!

All the unnecessary guests leave the church. Hayden wants to go, but Nicholas says he’s not leaving Elizabeth. (Bleh.) Sam is totally freaking out. She remembers how every time Danny saw “Jake,” he was drawn to him. Oh ho! Elizabeth tries to act like, oh yeah, you’re right and “Jake” was drawn to you, and blah-blah-blah, trying to cover for her dishonest self. I hope she trips on her wedding dress train on the way back to her going nowhere life. And does she really think that young Jake isn’t going to say, told you so?

Michael says that he was reacting to AJ’s death when he fought Sonny for custody. Ava shouts something out about Sonny being a murderer. Scotty says Sonny has a dark and complicated relationship with all of his children. He asks Michael if he didn’t change his name legally from Corinthos to Quartermaine. Michaels says again that he was reacting to AJ’s death, and he wanted to hurt Sonny by taking Avery from him. He also goes on about how Sonny taught him to fish, and play baseball, and built him a stage in the barn.

Kiki takes the stand. Scotty thanks her for testifying on behalf of Ava. She says au contraire. She’s there to tell the court what a lying, stinking mother Ava is.

Paul acts like he’s all on Anna’s side. He says he would have done the same thing in her place. He says the good she can accomplish outweighs her crime.

Sam asks Jason if he remembers anything about their life together, but he says he doesn’t remember any more than he did when he woke up in the hospital. Jason says she deserves to have the Jason she loved back, but he looks at her as a friend, not his wife. Ouch! That’s the worst I-just-want-to-be-friends excuse I’ve ever heard. Sam runs out crying. I feel a little badly for Patrick in all this, but not that much. It’s a sort of divine retribution, since he did the same thing to Sabrrrina . Elizabeth tries tell Jason he has a new life as Jake now, but he’s not having that either. He says he had a life and someone stole it from him. He practically runs Elizabeth over to get to Nicholas. Is this where Hayden comes in?

Commercial break. It’s all about the LEGOS, but it looks like they’re geared to adults. Admit it. You know you play with your kids’ toys.

Jason gets Nicholas in a chokehold. Why doesn’t he realize that Elizabeth was part of this? He lets go, but says he’s not done with Nicholas. Nicholas says that his grandmother is to blame and he doesn’t know anything. Carly says if Jason is right, Nicholas is going to pay. Nicholas and Hayden start to go, and Sam says that if he was hiding Jason’s identity, she’ll never forgive him. Like he cares.

Elizabeth babbles some more. Carly interjects that she needs to knock it off because he’s still married to Sam. That shuts her up. Jason wants to go figure things out. Carly tries to follow, but Elizabeth stops her with some egocentric words about how Jason loves her and needs her right now. Me, me, me, as usual. Lucas tells Carly that Sonny needs her right now.

Paul keeps trying to talk Anna into keeping her mouth shut. He shows her the pic again, and says that Emma doesn’t have her mother and needs Anna. He says when he saw Anna and Emma picking out the Halloween costumes, it was the first time he saw her smile. She asks what he really wants, and he says he wants them to work together. I like Paul, even though he’s a bad guy.

Kiki talks back and forth with Ava, which they would never allow in a real court. In Port Charles, it’s like anyone can speak up whenever they want to. The judge says it’s time for a break and I agree. Let’s get back to Jason. Kiki tells Sonny he’s always been good to her and moons over him for saving TJ. I guess she’s forgotten that TJ never would have been kidnapped in the first place if it hadn’t been for Sonny. It’s his own fault that he’s in that wheelchair. BTW, everyone is wearing funeral black at this hearing. Ava and Sonny are alone in the courtroom. Ava tells Sonny that if he gets custody, Avery will have to grow up taking care of him instead of the other way around. I see she’s going to play the wheelchair bound card.

Commercial break. Every day this storyline continues, I worry that ABC News will break in on the last 2 seconds.

Anna wants to know what kind of job Paul has in mind. He says her experience with the WSB is invaluable and he wants to hire her as a consultant. He says they both understand that you sometimes need to step outside the lines when it comes to justice.

Ava tells Sonny that she sees pity in everyone’s eyes when they look at him. She says they feel sorry for him, but glad they’re not the ones in the chair. She wonders how long Carly will be happy with an invalid who can’t satisfy her. He grabs her wrist and threatens her with serious bodily harm, just as Carly walks in. Not the best timing.

Hayden tells Nicholas that she’s totally turned on by his chivalry, but he should be concerned that Jason will find out what he and Elizabeth knew.

Sam is still freaked that Jason is alive and her husband.

Jason is on the bridge when Elizabeth approaches. He talks about remembering the bridge and asks if he came here a lot. She tells him to look at her and when he does, she tells him she’s sorry. Is she going to out herself on her part in the deception? I wanted that to be Hayden’s job.

Great show!

Ladies of London

We’re back from the Denmark debacle. Annabelle is visiting with The Baroness (Caroline #2). She says everyone was having “their own personal drama” on the trip. Maybe so, but I’d pretty much give her the Personal Drama Award for Passive Aggressive. Julie joins them. She says she loved Denmark and Annabelle rolls her personally dramatic eyes.

The Baroness brings up Julie having said she’s scared of Caroline #1 a million years ago. Annabelle starts going on about people talking behind your back. She’s obviously referring to Julie and says she’s changed. I think her problem is actually that Julie is branching out and doing her own thing and is busier than Annabelle. I don’t think Julie has a mean bone in her body. Ah-ha! (In Nelson voice.) Julie brings up a text on her phone when she apologized to Annabelle. Annabelle goes on about losing Alexander McQueen – 5 years ago – and how everyone is supposed to fall at her feet because she lost a friend and Julie didn’t give her a “cuddle and kiss” at his funeral when there was a line a mile long. What is up with this chick that she needs people to acknowledge her every second? Julie starts crying – probably what Annabelle wanted – and says sometimes she has to text because her plate is pretty damn full. I used to like Annabelle. Now I think she’s an a-hole.

Juliet steps in, saying she does feel love from Julie and understands how sometimes you can’t be there 24/7 for everyone. I wonder when she got added to this lunch, since she just kind of appeared.

Julie meets with Marissa, who she says has the best relationship with Annabelle. No surprise since they’re both insensitive, self-centered twits. Julie says texting for her is like letter writing and doesn’t always have time for calls or visits. Marissa does get one thing right. Annabelle has no husband and kids, and therefore doesn’t understand the time suck a family can be. Julie says she’s going to have to have a word with Caroline #1 as well, and Marissa says the new balls she’s grown look good on her.

I do feel badly for Caroline #1 losing her business. She says she understands that she’s blessed with a wonderful home life, but she misses the office. She says that in England, women are expected to be all about home and family. I’m not sure how different that is from the US, no matter what anyone says. Here, you’re just supposed to juggle an outside job too.

Marissa gets together with Annabelle. She brings up the Julie thing. Annabelle says with Julie, it’s not just one tear, the floodgates open. I want to make fun of her until she cries. Honestly, in the beginning, I thought she was the mature one, but as time has gone on, I see she’s a pot stirrer.

Now Annabelle is out to tea with Caroline #1. Caroline says she feels like she’s been brought in to fix it. Whatever “it” is. She tells Annabelle she invited her out to see where she is with everyone. Annabelle says something about being British and moving on, but that’s not what I see from her at all. She hangs onto things for dear life. Caroline says Annabelle keeps things to herself and she wants others to ask what’s going on. Annabelle says she knows she comes across as a “cold cow,” but that’s’ not the case. Stop acting like one then. Caroline says she doesn’t want her to leave the friend group, but she needs to get with the program if she wants to stay. In other words, you have to be a friend to have one. Maybe the problem is they don’t have Girl Scouts there.

Caroline says Annabelle needs to make a decision. Annabelle says she’s a vulnerable person, but doesn’t come off like that. No kidding. Caroline says she knows that Annabelle suffers from anxiety, but no one else knows that. I guess she’s one of those people who wants everyone to be a mind reader. I hate that. Caroline says she’s throwing a party and would like Annabelle to attend.

Caroline meets with her party planners. It’s going to be some kind of tropical theme. Apparently renting cabana stripper boys is expensive, starting at £650. We get a gratuitous shot of Caroline’s French bulldog puppy and I squee.

Annabelle is hosting some kind of children’s party for the launch of her new book. She has a grandma that looks like someone out of an old movie – the old lady who plays the maiden aunt who’s full of wisdom part – and she’s wearing a gigantic fur hat. Joan Collins Sophie shows up and I wonder if she has kids. She strikes me as someone who should be kept away from kids. Annabelle reads the new book Angry Me. It’s too bad she doesn’t take her own damn advice and deal with her feelings instead of taking them out on everyone else.

Man, I love the music on this show. I wonder if they have a soundtrack.

Caroline #1 is getting ready for her party, and like everyone else hosting a party, she hides all her kids’ toys and junk in the closets, so she can pretend she doesn’t live in her house. Julie is riding over with Marissa and says she doesn’t know what to expect from Annabelle anymore. Juliet and Annabelle are getting ready together, and Annabelle is wearing a romper so short I can see her butt cheeks. (BTW, don’t use the word “fanny” for butt in England. It’s bad. Also don’t use the word “butt.” It’s not bad, but “butty” means a sandwich, so you will be very confusing.)

Annabelle tells Juliet she needs to have something out with Julie. Yep. She moves on just fine. To be honest, while she is rocking the outfit, Annabelle looks totally out of place next to the other guests. She and Julie hug. Annabelle says that when they were in Denmark, Julie seemed like she wasn’t really there for her. Because that trip was all about her. I get what’s happening. Julie probably was at her beck and call at some point and now can’t be. Or maybe doesn’t want to be. What Annabelle needs are some single friends with no life. I don’t have kids either, but I certainly don’t expect my friends who do have them to be asking me what I need every single moment. It’s also not like Annabelle seems reciprocal on that front either.

Annabelle says Julie wasn’t there when she was going through a bad time, although she was there for Julie. Julie apologizes for the thousandth time and they hug it out. How long this will last, who knows? Lots of selfies and shots happen. Caroline #1 makes a big announcement that she’s moving on to a new phase and she wants everyone to come along. She says put the music on and let the naughtiness begin and everyone jumps in the pool

This is the finale, so everyone says their little thing at the end. None of it very interesting.

Vanderpump Rules

I can’t wait for Scheana to get pissed at Kristen.

New girl Lala (who names their kid “Lala?”) is working the register. She says so far she’s doing well; no one has punched her in the face or called her a bitch yet.  At least she has a sense of humor. I think. Maybe she was being serious.

Katie is training a new server and says it’s more complicated than you might think. They have to memorize several menus, as well as all the tables (the place is huge) and says Lisa is the most intimidating person in the world next to Beyoncé. I don’t think of either one of them as being intimidating.

Scheana is reliving her birthday party where James got drunk and acted ridiculous. James started chatting up some other girl and they left together in an Uber. Apparently, the car only went to James’s address, and the next morning, another Uber was called to go to the girl’s house at 6 am. The smoking gun Uber. In checking James’s email, Kristen found out.

Lala is already asking for time off because she’s an actress/model and doesn’t take the job seriously. Really. That’s pretty close to what she said.

Kristen is mad texting Scheana because the girl James left with is a friend of hers, so it’s her fault. Scheana says that when Kristen has problems, she takes them out on her friends. Why is she still friends with someone who’s saying she’s a bitch and her friend is a whore?

Jax has brought his new squeeze, Britney, for a job interview. Lisa asks her if she has a resumé, but she doesn’t have it with her since this was a spontaneous move. Katie tells Jax he needs to stop juggling women. He then asks Lala to some party and Katie says he takes out of sight out of mind to a whole new level. Lala is staying with Stassi on top of it. What’s wrong with him??? Lisa tells Britney she’ll think about it and to drop off a resumé. She says to her manager that this girl needs to put some “trousers” on the next time she comes for an interview. What she was wearing was comparable to Annabelle’s party outfit. Why didn’t Jax take her home to change and get a resumé?

Katie and Schwartz have a dog baby (Gordo) who’s having a birthday. They’re nine months into the six month old tomato she gave him (Schwartz, not the dog). He says the more she backs off, the more interested in following through he becomes. Sigh. So predictable. Katie talks about Kristen finding the Uber receipt. Ha-ha! Schwartz says it’s a waste for Kristen to date anyone not cheating on her since she has such great hacking skills.

Down to business. Kristen and James are sitting at a restaurant table and she tells him how embarrassing his behavior was at Scheana’s party. Kristen says that people call her crazy for checking boyfriend’s emals, but she always finds something. Maybe that says something about you, Kristen. James says nothing happened (another sigh). He asks if she’s ever cheated on him, she says she’s done and leaves. Kristen whines in her individual interview about how hurt she is. Please. After what she put that guy through last season, he deserves a hall pass, and I don’t say something like that lightly.

Katie, Schwartz, Ariana and Tom are out together and are discussing how they can’t take anybody seriously that Jax is dating. Ariana says he’s the SUR welcoming committee for anyone with boobies. The new girls join them, along with Britney and Jax. Interesting.  Jax has a foot fetish, slightly dirty please. He apparently Instagrams about this. Glad I’m not following him. Tom says Britney is on the Jax Express, and Jax says he is psyched about dating someone who is clueless about SUR and himself. Ariana says there’s something about Lala she doesn’t trust, and wonders why she was chosen to go to Venice when there are more than enough models around.

Kristen goes down Memory Lane, looking at pictures of her and James. James comes in, and he apologizes. She says he’s angry when he drinks, and he says he gets angry at her when he drinks, but he’s not sure why. I know why. Because she treated him like dirt and dated him while still stalking Tom and making his life miserable. James comes clean that he might have tried taking the other girl’s clothes off but nothing happened. In his individual interview, he says they totally had sex and he was lying to Kristen for her own good. His own good maybe. I know they’ve broken up by now, but didn’t he think she’d see this at the time? Kristen believes him and says he obviously wants to work on the relationship.

Tom and Ariana go furniture shopping. He wants some new amazing things to go with his new amazing girlfriend. I have to admit, they do seem to work well together. They both seem like decent people and it always boggles my mind that he was with Kristen for as long as he was. He says when buying a couch, it’s not about knowing your budget, but about knowing yourself. Whatever that means. I know myself well enough to know I’m not spending three grand on a couch. I guess they’ve never heard of Wayfair.

In pondering her friendship with Scheana, Ariana says sometimes the only requirement Scheana has for a friend is that they haven’t screwed her over in two months. Ariana says she’s not going to give any old tomatoes, but if Scheana is going to be friends with Kristen, she’s not going to be around as much. What kind of friend blames you for her boyfriend cheating and calls you a bitch? Providing you’re not the one he cheated with.

Jax pumps (no pun intended) Lisa for whether she’s going to hire Britney or not. Lisa is like, I want to see a resumé first. Lisa says she’s tired of Jax’s revolving girlfriend door where there’s weeks of “secret snogging behind the bar” and then he won’t return the girl’s phone calls and she’s left to pick up the pieces. I have some advice. Don’t hire Jax’s girlfriends and don’t get involved if you do. There. That’s done.

Commercial break. Lisa is introducing the new season of The Royals and we get a gratuitous Giggy moment.

Ariana and Scheana discuss the new girls, Lala and Faith. Ariana says that when you’re profile pic is your naked behind, modeling probably isn’t what you’re doing. It’s a great shot, but yep, it’s not exactly a Vogue shot. They grill Lala on her upcoming job. Ariana finally comes out and says she thinks Lala is lying and Lala admits she is. She says it’s a “fun” trip. They ask what she has to do for the trip. Whoa. Schaena says lying isn’t the way to make friends. I think Scheana is actually very good-hearted and I believe her when she says she didn’t like this girl coming in and lying to Lisa right off the bat.

Schaena bitches to Ariana about Kristen repeatedly texting her. She called Scheana a rude bitch because she didn’t know ahead of time that James was going to boink that girl. Kristen is more mental than Ed Grimley. Ariana runs down the Kristen crazy train list, which includes Kristen punching people at Scheana’s birthday party last season and creating a scene at her wedding. Scheana says she’s been friends with Kristen longer, but is closer to Ariana. I forgot to mention that, although good-hearted, I think Scheana doesn’t have a brain in her head. If anyone had put my close friend through what that nut did to Ariana last season, there’s no way I’d keep them in my life, no matter how long I’ve known them. If nothing else, you have to realize that at some point, you will be the target.

Yikes! The walls in Scheana’s apartment are covered with HUGE pictures from the wedding. Scheana says she’s had enough of the texting business and being called a bitch. Scheana says Kristen is the common denominator in all the problems and we flash back to every problem she’s caused at a party. Kristen can’t “wrap her head around” (ugh!) that it could possibly be her fault. Scheana says everyone is getting to the point where she can’t be friends with both them and Kristen. So then Kristen says it’s their fault. You know, because she could never, ever be the cause of any difficulties.

Next week looks good. Schwartz is ready to pop the question, and Shay walks out.

Après Ski

Just a quick note on this show. This group needs to take a lesson from Below Deck. If they want to provide a five star experience for the guest, they need to find out the guest’s needs ahead of time. Last week, they planned a surprise lunch in a gondola – not the kind like in Venice, but those things that go way up high on a cable – and one of the guests was not only vegan, but they were afraid of heights and had an anxiety attack. Obviously, the guests did not leave happy, but that could have been easily prevented. They also don’t seem to be able to retain the things they are told. Having it written down would make everything a million times easier. My two cents.

Nov3

November 2, 2015 — Big Reveals, London in Denmark & Back at SUR

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

“Jake” tells Sam that a year ago he had no family, no identity, no nothing, and tomorrow he’s getting them all. You know, November 6, the day after Halloween.

Patrick thinks Elizabeth is getting cold feet. She says Audrey’s letter just made her emotional, but he says if she really feels she shouldn’t get married, she should go with her gut feelings.

The sizzle reel sizzles on at The Haunted Star. Everyone stands frozen and Valerie looks like she wants the earth to swallow her up. Dillon is like, oops! wrong thing, let me turn this off, but Lulu tells him not to. Pay off! Pay off!

Olivia, who’s gotten some nice highlights, chats with Carly. Carly says she has something to do and will meet Olivia in Sonny’s room (don’t ask him first or anything). She goes to the laptop and looks at the screen to see Jason’s face looking back. More pay off! I feel like I’ve been waiting so long, I can’t take it all at once. Especially since I got my heart broken during last night’s Walking Dead episode.

Patrick asks Elizabeth if there’s something she wants to tell him. She says that she’s never been happier and she just has pre-wedding jitters. Patrick has never been the most observant guy, but even he knows there’s more to it than that. She says she has a really good feeling about the marriage. Really? No one is this stupid. She has to know the truth is eventually going to come out. Like today I hope. She says maybe her other marriages didn’t work out because she needed to get to the one that’s for keeps.

“Jake” tells Hayden that she’s not welcome at his wedding. She says she and “Jake” should have a clean slate since she lost her memory. Hayden is like, too bad, I’m coming anyway. “Jake” says if she and/or Nicholas upset Elizabeth on her wedding day, they’ll regret it.

Carly calls Spinelli and tells him to call her back immediately when he gets the message.

Sonny, who is looking kind of scruffy good since he hasn’t shaved in a while, is back from PT and Olivia apologizes for lying about Leo. Sonny says he gets that she was just protecting Leo. She had also kept Dante’s paternity from Sonny, and apologizes for Sonny missing out on Dante’s childhood. Sonny is uncharacteristically understanding.

Lulu insists that Dillon put the sizzle reel that isn’t the sizzle reel back on. It gets to the part where Valerie tells Dillon that she slept with Dante, and everyone is like whoa, and looks are being shot everywhere.

Hayden says she admires “Jake” because of how he’s reinvented himself. She says she wants to follow his example. She says she knows she wasn’t the greatest person and wants to have a fresh start. This girl is good because I’m never sure whether to believe her or not.

Patrick and Elizabeth come into the waiting room and Carly shuts the laptop like she’s putting out a fire. “Jake” and Sam are right behind them, and “Jake” immediately knows something’s wrong. Carly says she just has something on her mind and practically runs out of the room. Snot rag Elizabeth says Carly can take care of herself and who cares what her problem is.

Lulu is so delusional, she thinks Valerie made up sleeping with Dante. She says it’s because Valerie still “has feelings” for Dante and insists that Dante correct this misconception, because he would never do such a thing. To his credit, he says he did. I hate that expression “has/have feelings for.” What kind of “feelings?” What does that mean? It’s so vague, it’s annoying.

Hayden says she doesn’t really know where she stands with anyone, and even if they’re being nice, she doesn’t know if it’s genuine or they’re just waiting to pay her back for one of her misdeeds.

Sam tells Elizabeth that she’s marrying a man of many hidden talents, that he blew the roof off at karaoke. Thanks. I would have liked to see that.

Carly calls some lab about running a discreet DNA test on “Jake.” I guess she has connections. She pops into Sonny’s room and says she has to go and deal with something important.

Morgan and Darby are basking in the afterglow and I take a nap. Wake me when Kiki inevitably shows up.

Maxie is totally freaking out. Nathan puts his police hat on (symbolically) and kicks everyone out of the party. Valerie tries to follow the crowd, but Lulu is like, no way, bitch.

Dante keeps trying to get Lulu to go, but she wants answers and rightly so. She asks how long the affair has been going on and Valerie says it was just one night, like that makes it okay. Lulu says she welcomed Valerie into her family and this is how she gets repaid.

I’m thinking maybe Nicholas needs to lay off those Floating Rib dinners, since he’s looking a little chunky. Hayden asks if they’re just “castle mates” or are they moving forward with the relationship?

Oh I get it. Carly wants “Jake” to be hydrated and insists he have some of her water to get a DNA sample. She also says they need to have a long talk before the wedding about best person and groom stuff. Yeah, like maybe he shouldn’t be getting married right now since he’s Jason.

Lulu asks if Dante took Valerie to their home and their bed. She thinks it was the night that Dante admitted to kissing Valerie, but he just edited out the juicy parts. Valerie says no, that it was the night Lulu spent with Dillon in Canada. Lulu is appalled at Valerie’s suggestion she might be at fault here. Me too, really. She’s not being contrite enough for my taste. Valerie says she’s not blaming Lulu, but everyone screwed up, even her. Dante is still trying to get Lulu to leave and Lulu tells him to never come near her again.

Everyone in the hospital waiting room remembers they have homes and cuts out. Carly heads to the lab with the empty water bottle.

The kids are still hanging around The Haunted Star and TJ tells Kiki she should consider forgiving Morgan. Morgan walks in, and Kiki fills him on what happened. When she asks where he was, Darby walks in and says he was with her.

Valerie gets mad at Dillon. She thinks Dillon should fire Andy for being either a perv or a complete incompetent. Maxie thinks they should go after Lulu, but Nathan takes her phone. Maxie realizes Nathan knew the whole time. Dante follows Lulu down to the docks that we can’t seem to get enough of lately.

These are the episodes I live for. And Vanderpump Rules starts its new season tonight. It doesn’t get much better than this.

Ladies of London

Caroline #1 says that Annabelle has been “Poe faced” lately. I like this new term. I don’t know if the guy that woke her up is a friend or her husband, but he’s pretty cute.

They’re on their way somewhere and Caroline #1 is saying Julie is basically subservient to Annabelle. Since Annabelle is in the same limo, doesn’t Caroline know she can hear? Or does she not care?

For winning some battle, Caroline #2’s (The Baroness) 10th great grandfather won a castle. Some of the furniture is awesome and it goes without saying that the castle itself is. Hmm… If that isn’t Caroline #1’s husband, this guy is inappropriately touching her butt. The Baroness says she realizes she’s privileged and is grateful, but when she was little, she thought everyone lived like that. I can understand somewhat. My father built our house, and since he was living with 3 women (my mother, my sister and I), our bathroom was huge. I was shocked when I saw other people’s bathrooms because I thought everyone’s bathroom was like ours. The castle has a huge room with every kind of taxidermied animal and even a shrunken head. Julie is somewhat appalled, but I think I’d be okay with it. It’s not like that giraffe got felled yesterday. I flash back to the Niagara Falls Museum in Canada, where they have the oldest taxidermied lion ever. The fur is practically falling off of it. I love that place. Nothing much changes there.

Commercial break. I can’t take all this election stuff. Between the TV ads and the robocalls, it makes me never want to vote again because I hate them all.

Ok, that’s Caroline #1’s makeup artist, who no doubt is gay, so touching her butt was okay. Is he single? I might know a guy for him.

It’s time for dinner and it’s one of those really long tables. Annabelle still has a stick up her ass and continues to be Poe faced. I’m going to use that all the time now. Everyone says how great everything is, and it’s obvious Annabelle is not happy. I can’t even remember what it is she’s unhappy about. Geez, she’s having a cigarette and no one is treating her like a pariah. She should at least be happy about that. Julie, Caroline #1 and Annabelle start talking about how Caroline said Julie is Annabelle’s bitch. The Baroness is like, thanks a lot for starting this stuff at my lovely family home.

Caroline #1 says she thinks Julie has more confidence now, that somehow this group of dysfunctional women has given her strength. Probably in self-defense. They’re fun to watch, but I don’t think I’d want to hang out with this crowd. Maybe Juliet and The Baroness, but Julie is scatter-brained and the rest of them will roll over you like a bulldozer.

Caroline #1 goes on about how Julie has gone through an evolution and has her own balls now (no pun intended about the product she sells). Annabelle tells her to talk to the hand. Really. She does.

The Baroness is pissed that breakfast has been on the table since 10 and it’s 10:30. I don’t blame her. Caroline #1 starts stammering that she doesn’t usually go… and The Baroness finishes her sentence with “any place [she] needs manners.” Annabelle lets out a huge laugh. Caroline #1 says she usually doesn’t stay at other people’s homes and The Baroness says at least she’s honest.

Julie says when you hold a yoga pose, you need equal amounts of energy coming from every area of your body and it’s the same in a friendship. Whatever that means. I’m not very good at holding yoga poses, although I do just fine with friendships.

Annabelle gets a call while she’s chatting with Joan Collins Sophie. Whatever it is, it’s not good news. She’s going “oh no” and “don’t talk about that stuff.” Now she’s crying.

Okay. Apparently, this has something to do with a book someone is writing about Alexander McQueen and some article that’s coming out about it in the tabloids. She’s pissed because there’s no way to defend yourself when you’re dead and everyone is coming out of the woodwork with nasty stories. I shrug and think this is part of being a skabillionaire celebrity. The Baroness says thanks for sharing, but Julie thinks there’s more to it than that.

The two Caroline’s go to Svendborg Church where The Baroness’s family members are buried or interred or whatever. It’s absolutely beautiful. Her mother died from cancer and The Baroness mostly grew up without her. Caroline #1 says she feels stupid for even griping about her business.

The Baroness’s parents (I guess she has a stepmother?) are coming for dinner and everyone gets super dressed up. The Baroness says her relationship with her father has always been rocky because he doesn’t understand her life choices. I’m guessing this means she didn’t marry some lord and churn out grandkid heirs. Annabelle banters with The Baron about how favors and affairs are the ways titles are received. My husband is a Marquis, which I guess makes me a Marquise, but I have no idea what favors or affairs happened there. A title and $3.50 will get me on the subway.

The Baroness makes a toast. In her individual interview segment, Marissa says blah-blah-blah about how she has a new respect for The Baroness, and I couldn’t care less. She gives a toast about being in love with all people and things Denmark, which comes off to me as just a bunch of empty flattery.

Commercial break. I read an article about Kurt Russell trick-or-treating with his grandkids, and think he’s one hot granddad.

They go to the ballroom and dance around crazy drunk. The Baroness suggests a nightcap, which believe me, no one needs. There is a group hug.

Next week, the season finale. Marissa’s restaurant opening is delayed and there’s more Annabelle drama. I see Caroline #1’s husband, think ok yeah that’s him, I remember now, and that he can’t hold a candle to the makeup artist.

Vanderpump Rules

Lisa looks like she’s lost weight. Does that mean there’s still hope for me? It looks like Kristen is still a psychotic a-hole and Stassi has had some work done. Although why either one of them is still on this show, I’m not sure. Oh yeah, drama.

Lisa says that last year was all about opening PUMP, but now she’s back to concentrating on SUR. She has a sit down with the staff. Jax has also had another nose job. I can’t stand him, but he really did have nasal problems and it’s not just a cosmetic thing, so I give him a pass.

James has been DJ-ing at PUMP, and says Kristen has been coming in and day drinking. She is so insane. You can just see it in her eyes. Lisa says Kristen isn’t allowed in PUMP or SUR when James is working. How about not letting her in period? Lisa complains that Tom hasn’t been on the ball and he says he’s not the only one.

It’s almost Scheana’s 30th birthday and she wants to have a “decades” party. I have no clue what that is. Kate goes down Memory Lane when she gave Schwartz the ultimatum to put a ring on it within 6 months. She says she has the feeling it’s coming. So is the apocalypse.

Jax tells James he doesn’t need grief from Kristen and that she’s a ticking time bomb. Yep. Jax’s ex-girlfriend, Carmen, is friends with Kristen and this boggles my mind, since she seemed sane. Kristen and James have an argument on the phone before the first commercial.

Commercial break. Those Hunger Games books and movies look good, but I don’t want to get wrapped up in another series. True Blood and Game of Thrones have been bad enough. I’m not even sure if I’m up for adding Après Ski.

Jax and James have an argument because Jax is a total gossip. James says Jax’s bro code is “F-U, bros.”

Ken shows up at SUR. He looks amazing for being 110 and just having had a hip replacement.

Scheana says Kristen isn’t invited to her birthday party. Tom says you actually have to ban her from a place for her not to show up anyway. I know someone like that too.

Here she comes! Jax asks what Kristen is doing in the parking lot. She’s pissed because James told Jax her business and he in turn told Carmen. Kristen says that being fired from SUR freed her to work on her T-shirt line and I choke on my seltzer. James is pretty angry about Kristen showing up just before he’s about to DJ and hopes Lisa doesn’t find out. This girl is so freakin’ out there, I don’t get why anyone has anything to do with her. Although I do know she and James called it quits a couple of months ago.

Jax’s real name is Jason. His mom is visiting and he’s asked his friends not to call him Jax in front of her. I didn’t know he had a mom. I figured he was raised by wolves. This guy is just too old even to be hanging out with these kids, let alone floundering along with nothing really going on in his life.

Commercial break. It’s one of those ads where Matthew McConaughey is in the car, making fun of his esoteric self. No. Just no.

James brings Kristen flowers and apologizes because he’s a total idiot. I don’t mean he’s apologizing for being an idiot; I mean he’s an idiot for apologizing. Kristen says she never knows what she’ll get with him, and I choke again, since she’s about as bi-polar as they come. James says he doesn’t want to bring her to Scheana’s party and she says fine, but it’s not fine.

Scheana has a birthday lunch at Villa Blanca with Jax and his mother in attendance. Jax’s mother says he’s been a handful from the day he was born. Lisa asks what’s the worst thing he ever did. Mom talks about how when he was 12, Jax hit on his bus driver. Maybe it’s me, but I don’t think his looks are all that and certainly not enough to make up for the rest of him.

Schwartz wants to get a permanent. Tom says they call it a perm for a reason and this might be a mistake. Schwartz says he’s ready to propose to Katie. After the hair process, Schwartz says his hair isn’t as “permy” as he thought it would be, but he likes it. Actually, it’s not bad. I was afraid he’d end up looking like Carrot Top.

Commercial break. Yep, Christmas is here now, since we’re done with Halloween. How much do you think I’ll hate The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies by December 25? Living in the area, we also get local ads for Broadway shows and King Charles III looks amazing, but I’d really love to see Bruce Willis in Misery.

On to the party. Katie says something about someone looking like they’re from Andy Warhol’s Factory and I’m shocked she even knows what that is. Carmen didn’t want to go, and Jax says he went one down in his contacts and brought Carter. Bleh. Scheana is dressed as Madonna in her boy toy phase and I love it. I wish we still dressed like that.

Ha! Kristen says that she knows technically she wasn’t invited, but she knows Scheana wants her there anyway because she’s psychotic psychic. The costumes are pretty fabulous overall, outfits mostly portraying the 60s, 70s and 80s.. James is DJ-ing and the place is rocking out. Of course Kristen starts bugging him immediately that he’s drinking too much, which makes him want to drink more. Kristen says he’s on his way to being a drunken a-hole. While he does like to get his drink on, the only time I’ve seen him really be an a-hole is when she starts something. I’m not crazy about him, but he seems to go out of his way to treat her well and she doesn’t appreciate it at all.

Tom does some kind of roller skating routine on the dance floor. Ken tells Tom not to disrespect his wife (this has something to do with the staff meeting), and Tom says the British gangster is coming through.  I love Ken. He’s the most perfect husband I’ve ever seen. He’d do anything for Lisa. Apparently, there was some kind of altercation with Kristen and James at PUMP, and Lisa tries to discuss it with Kristen. Lisa says she’s asking for the impossible in expecting Kristen to take any responsibility for anything. I concur. She also says that at 54 years old, she wants respect. To which I say, good luck with that. They keep cutting to Ariana who’s making a lot of faces.

Scheana says that Kristen has been more pleasant lately and that she has a soft spot for her. Not me and I think she’s batsh*t crazy. Ariana is annoyed that Scheana, who is supposed to be her best friend, says Kristen has never given her a direct reason not to like her. In other words, wishing for Ariana’s death wasn’t enough. I’m trying to figure out what Ariana’s costume is supposed to be. Something from the 70s, but she looks like she’s dressed like a guy and the whole getup is kind of monochromatic and boring.

Where is my Giggy?

Everyone is getting drunker. Scheana’s husband is doing some two-fisted drinking, and Tom is pouring liquor straight into his mouth from the bottle of Fireball. I like Fireball — and it has the extra benefit of clearing out your sinuses — but only one shot. I can’t even fathom chugging it. Kristen tells James to slow his drinking roll and he says she drives him to drink. Now he’s telling Tom how much he loves him and Tom jumps into the pool with his roller skates on.

Next week, it looks like we’re getting some new people.

Just a note on Après Ski. After watching the first episode, it looks like it’s a mo’ money, mo’ problems for the staff show, revolving around a ski resort. A keeper unless something better comes along.

Oct27

October 26, 2015 — GH, the OC Reunites & Ladies Go To Denmark

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Diane! I’ve missed her! It should be interesting too, since she’s going to be Spinelli’s attorney. I can’t believe they have him handcuffed to a chair in the police station though. Not too much overkill. Are they afraid he might break out an iPhone or something?

Sabrrrina and Michael tell Sonny that they’re having a baby. Sonny says fatherhood changed his life. Apparently, not enough to get him to change careers. They discuss whether they want to know the gender of the baby before it’s born, and I have this vision of a sonogram picture and the baby has Carrrlos’s face. Sabrrrina and Carly leave the room, and Sonny tells Michael he has to make an honest woman of Sabrrrina. I guess she doesn’t get a say in that.

Dante says he wants to leave the police force if he and Lulu are going to have another child. Their doctor says not all embryos are viable after thawing, so they should slow their enthusiasm roll.

Jordan is telling Diane about how Spinelli could be facing federal charges. She says he can meet with Diane after he’s processed. Diana asks Sam what Spinelli was looking for when they’re alone.

“Jake” is arguing with young Jake about what his father position is. Jake keeps insisting that “Jake” is his real father. When “Jake” goes to the kitchen, Elizabeth tells young Jake that when they get married, “Jake” will be his step-dad, but he says that’s not what she told Laura. Take that, Elizabeth. With the worst timing ever, “Jake” returns with a plate of cookies and some milk. Is milk still considered good for kids? I thought there was some argument about that. Cow’s milk anyway.

Sam tells Diane that she knows what it is not to have family to lean on, and that’s why she wants to help “Jake.” Diane notices her engagement ring and asks if Sam thinks it’s a good idea. Hmm… Is Patrick still legally married to Robin? Nope, that’s not what Diane is thinking anyway. She says she had a front row seat for Sam’s relationship with Jason, and that she thinks Sam loves the excitement and Patrick is about the most boring guy on earth.

Elizabeth tells “Jake” that young Jake’s perception has been skewed, and that he needs to see a therapist. Jake calls Sam and she says she’ll meet him at the docks.

The doctor tells Dante and Lulu that with only one embryo, they only have a 16% chance of success, and if that part is successful, they’ll have a one in five chance of getting a baby out of it.

Carly tells Sabrrrina she should take her time with things. Not if Sonny has anything to say about it. He’s probably making up wedding favors in his hospital bed. Sonny tells Carly that he told Michael he should marry Sabrrrina, and she says, “No. Hell no,” which is my usual reaction whenever I see Michael. Carly insists that Michael doesn’t love Sabrrrina and I have no idea where this is coming from. She claims she can tell that neither one of them love each other. She says they were only consoling each other and it’s no basis for a marriage. Thank goodness they both have Carly to tell them how they really feel.

Dante Is having second thoughts about Lulu getting pregnant. He’s afraid it will be a long, hard road for her and it might not result in a baby and she’ll feel like she failed. Maybe he should get together with Carly, and they can tell everyone how they’re supposed to be feeling.

Diane meets with The Jackal. Diane tells Jordan that she should be getting a call from Judge Cole soon. As soon as Jordan leaves, Diane lambasts Spinelli. Not for what he did, but for getting caught. I love her and wish she could be my lawyer if I ever need one.

Elizabeth tells young Jake that “it’s complicated.” That’s mom code for I’m not telling you anything.

“Jake” apologizes to Sam for his outburst after finding out about the deleted file. Jake tells Sam that Elizabeth had told him to make like Elsa and let it go, but he doesn’t want to do that because of what young Jake said. It’s not because he believes what Jake said, but that Jake is invested in him now and he doesn’t want something from his past to come along later to screw that up. He seems like a smart guy, so why can’t he put 2 and 2 together? He seems very aware that he knew what he was doing when he killed some guys, and he wants to make sure Elizabeth and her boys are safe around him. Sam tells him they “hit a little snag,” and lets him know about Spinelli’s arrest. She still believes that when Spinelli gets sprung, he can finish the quest.

Lulu wants to try the in vitro anyway, and says that if it doesn’t work out, she’ll be happy the way things are. She wants the chance of them to create a life together. Man, if Valerie turns out pregnant, there is going to be one load of grief.

Carly tells Sonny that Michael should have passion in his relationship. I guess she’s been in the bedroom with them too. She says Sabrrrina is fine for Michael to date, but not marry. Huh?

Sabrrrina (who IRL must be at least 5 months along, considering what she’s wearing) is impressed with how well Michael took the news. We’ll see how he feels when the baby comes out speaking Spanish. He says that he wants the three of them (meaning him, Sabrrrina and the baby) to be a family, and asks her to marry him. She says he’s great and all, but that would be a no.

Lulu tells Dante that no one ever got what they wanted by being afraid to try. They agree to start the procedure the day after Halloween.

Jordan tells Spinelli that he’s free to go, but there had better not be a next time. She says if she catches him messing around with the hospital records again, that even his well-connected attorney won’t be able to help him. Diana tells him his skills aren’t what they once were, and he should stay away from hacking.

Elizabeth says blah-blah-blah to young Jake and that “Jake’s” past doesn’t matter.

“Jake” thinks differently though, and wants to make sure he hasn’t committed any crimes he doesn’t know about. Sam is up for the challenge, but she believes that if he wasn’t a good guy to begin with, he wouldn’t be as concerned as he is. She says that by the time he marries Elizabeth, he’ll know who he is.

Does that mean we’ll know by November 6?

The Real Housewives of the OC – Reunion Part 2

We revisit some weird stuff like Heather’s foray into leech territory and Shannon’s colonic mishap. Then we discuss Heather’s massive house. Heather also says she has frozen embryos, but I’m not sure where they’re being stored. That house is so big, they could have a lab in the basement for all I know. Heather says she’s 87 now (ha-ha, Heather – you would be saying that if you didn’t look so good at 46), so she won’t be using them and Andy offers to buy them. Hey, Lulu and Dante could use a spare egg.

Ugh! It’s Meghan’s husband Jim, joining them on the couch. It is funny though, that people are starting to recognize him as Meghan’s husband instead of a famous ballplayer. We go back to some of the nastier moments when Meghan behaved like twit and Jim behaved like a tool. Andy points out that he often treats Meghan like a child, and they both say she doesn’t let him get away with that. Okay. I believe it if you believe it. He says he wasn’t ready for the bright lights of reality TV, and that’s why he acts so condescending. He makes more excuses and my hearing turns off. Heather says “Jimmy is the coolest guy ever.” I doubt it.

Vicki says that she misunderstood what Brooks had told her when she said Jim had told Brooks that two months out of four had been “challenging,” when he’d actually said it was a couple of situations. Two is two to Vicki. Meghan climbs onto her high horse and declares Vicki a liar. This leads to a flashback of an offhand comment Vicki made at Tamra’s “sex party.” Tamra was dressed entirely in black lace, gyrating around  with a…device strapped onto her, when Vicki told Heather that Tamra’s kids weren’t going to like it and she’s already had one taken away. Yep, that was kind of mean, except I do think she might have a point without even knowing it. Tamra seems like a good mother, but the daughter is not happy about her airing information about them on TV. We move to Vicki saying that Jim and Meghan’s marriage wouldn’t last 5 years. I still think so.

Meghan signed a pre-nup and claims it was her idea. It was out of the goodness of her heart, so that the children would never feel that something can be taken away from them, and it would ease Jim’s mind about her intentions. I don’t know if I believe that, but he says her family was all on board with it too. He probably paid them off.

On to David’s affair. God bless these two for being able to move past it, and being able to move past it on television. I didn’t like David very much at first, but now I understand what was going on, and why he was so irritated and distant. When they were on Watch What Happens Live, he was criticized by some viewers for being “emotionless” and “wooden.” Hello? He’s not an actor. I’d like to see them have cameras up their ass 24/7 and act even halfway normal. When Andy asks Shannon if she has any insight into why he had the affair, she starts saying that he was unavailable because of work and she was being a nag thinking she could get what she wanted that way. All of the ladies start freaking, telling her not to make excuses for him. Heather says you fix it or leave, you don’t cheat, and on this I agree.

We get one of those short bits in between commercials where Andy questions Vicki’s perception of what a mammal is, since she thought a shark was one. That’s not too far-fetched though, since they don’t lay eggs, but give birth. That isn’t always the criteria though. Our mammalogy lesson for today.

Shannon says she’s not making excuses for David, that she blames him plenty. Heather tells us about how she was at a lunch and the topic came up. She tried to squash it, but she caught one of the other women texting the mistress. Andy reads a viewer text that asks if Shannon thinks it was a good idea for the kids to see what happened on TV. She said the kids had already known. Not that she told them, but they’d seen something on his phone, and if they hadn’t, she wouldn’t have put it out there. She says though, that since it did happen, it’s good for the kids to see that it’s possible to put things back together. And they seem well-adjusted to me. Andy makes a joke like he’s going to bring the mistress out. Ha-ha-ha, Andy! I’ve said it before, he has replaced Jeff Probst as the reality TV antichrist.

Another ugh! Briana joins the group. Not only do I not like her, she always looks like a slob. Is she wearing black eye shadow? Does she think this is The Rocky Horror Picture Show? And why can’t she ever comb her hair? As we already know, Vicki and Brooks aren’t together anymore. Brooks technically broke up with her, but she says the main reason was the conflict with Briana. Briana says he would do terrible things when Vicki was on the other side of the room. For example, he hit on her while she was pregnant. The only thing I can think is he must have been drunk as a skunk. I do actually have some experience in that vein. When I got married my (now ex) brother-in-law hit on every girl at the reception, including the bride.

Meghan says Brooks’s lawyer had contacted her, telling her to leave him alone. At this point, I don’t care if Brooks is an ax murderer, I still like him more than Meghan. We get a clip of Andy’s interview with Brooks, who says Briana seems to be the only relative that has a problem with him. He says that Briana was leaning on Vicki for financial help and Briana goes apesh*t. She says she makes 6 figures and doesn’t need help. Please tell me why Vicki did things like buy her a car this season if she makes so much money? She then gives a laundry list of all the bad stuff Brooks has done and says the whole family hates him.

Part 3 looks like a doozie! I do feel sorry for Vicki though. Nobody’s ever given her a moment to breathe and I can identify with that.

VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION: Part 3 of The Real Housewives of the OC’s reunion is going to be on Sunday night – not Monday. Thanks Bravo! I live for this stuff and now you have to create conflict.

Ladies of London

More great pop music! Geez, maybe Caroline #1 should sell off a few of her purses and get some money to keep the business going. I think she has about 5000 of them. And I’m pretty sure they’re more expensive than mine.

London Fashion Week is starting with a “Fashion for Relief” show that benefits Ebola. That makes it sound like it’s promoting Ebola, but you know what I mean. It seems to be a problem over there. It’s not the first time it’s been mentioned. Annabelle is on the runway. We flash back to her riding accident, and I have to give her props. She had a broken pelvis, among other injuries, and you would never know it. She’s working the runway like a boss and wearing an amazing black gown.

It looks like Caroline #1’s business is tanking. She says her several million pounds investment ran out 6 months before she thought it would. Seven years down the drain. She says there’s no shame in failure (didn’t someone say it’s a lesson in what not to do?), but she’s incredibly sad.

Naomi Campbell is visiting with Annabelle. They’ve known each other for a while. The funny part is how Annabelle says Naomi is such a great friend because she doesn’t create drama. I choke on my Cup O’Noodles.

Marissa (bleh) is meeting The Baroness (Caroline #2)for tea. The Baroness says she hasn’t slept in days and looks like it. Even though she says she never wanted to talk about it again, The Baroness brings up the crappy thing that Marissa did by talking smack about The Baroness’s boyfriend to her sister. She wants a promise from Marissa that it won’t happen again. Marissa says that she can only apologize so many times, but in her individual interview, The Baroness says she doesn’t feel it’s been sincere. I can totally understand this. I don’t think Marissa grasps that what she did was actually a big deal.

Julie is doing a body-painted shot, an ad campaign for her JUGS. No not those kind. It’s Julia’s Unbelievable Balls. No not those kind. They’re similar to energy bars. She does a shot where the back of her is painted and she’s up against a painting where she’s the middle panel. Her body is freakin’ fabulous, although she’s nervous about the whole thing.

Joan Collins Sophie, The Baroness and Caroline #1 are having lunch. Caroline #1 wonders what she’s going to do on Monday now. The Baroness says she’ll rise like a phoenix and invites everyone to her family home in Denmark for a holiday. Ivana Trump Sophie says there will probably be drama because the American girls are not as tough as the British ones. Like these British girls don’t stir the pot.

One look at Caroline #1’s closet makes me wonder if she really had to close the business. Her closet is about as big as my house and it’s not empty. I seriously doubt it’s filled with items from K-Mart either. The girls are all getting ready for the Denmark trip. Everyone is wearing either black or navy blue. Annabelle is late, but manages to make it in time. And she’s wearing a while coat. Congrats on bucking the system!

They’re flying economy class and I have no clue why. Maybe it’s a novelty for them. I can assure you that if I could afford first class, there would be no going back. In Denmark, The Baroness is very famous, so there’s a photographer at the airport. She says once the news gets out, they probably won’t be left alone. Mo’ money, mo’ paparazzi.

Back in the old days, The Baroness’s family did the king of Denmark a favor, and since he didn’t have enough gold for a reward, he gave them several castles. Nice. For some reason, Annabelle thinks it’s “rude and childish” of Julie to want to go to a coffee shop while the others shop at a furrier. I don’t get it. I also don’t get why she even cares, since she had nothing to do with the trip. Julie is a vegan, so it should be no surprise that she doesn’t want to buy a fur. Alexis Carrington Sophie says the coat she’s picked is 69,000 Euros, but I have no idea how much that really is. Judging by Juliet’s reaction, I assume it’s a lot.

Annabelle tells Julie that she’s annoyed with chatter behind the scenes. I’m not sure what’s up with her, but she seems kind of unreasonable right now. The Baroness wants them to get everything out in the open at dinner. Good luck with that not turning into a screaming match. They all go to some fancy restaurant called Geist. It’s really beautiful and reminds me of some restaurants in Manhattan. The Baroness tells an amusing story about how the restaurant went out of their way for her, getting a dish they didn’t have from somewhere else, and Marissa acts incredibly rude in her individual interview by making snoring noises. This is the second time she’s done this in regard to The Baroness.

Uh-oh. The Baroness makes an announcement that if anyone has anything to say, say it now. Juliet says that she’s very happy because she’s learned her lesson about creating drama. Oh good. Annabelle is going to say a couple of things. Maybe now we’ll find out who put that stick up her ass. She says Juliet should listen more instead of going directly to drama. Nice after what Juiet just said. She tells Caroline #1 to basically quit being so rude. Julie gets bestowed with the information that she should hold some things in rather than letting them fly. Caroline #1 counters with that sometimes Annabelle seems absent, and that she comes in with “a face,” rather than letting everyone know what’s up. That’s it? What about the others?

Next week, we go to the castle, there’s another dinner where everyone gets a lecture, and Annabelle gets an ominous phone call.

Oct20

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

Hey! It’s Ned! He’s been off touring with his daughter, Brooklyn. Yo! Eddie Maine! When Alexis says something about “Olivia and Leo,” Ned says Leo is the baby that passed away and Mateo is the adopted baby. Alexis asks him if he was there for the adoption, and he says he was aware of everything, so I’m thinking he knows the truth. It’s like when you say you “have experience” with something on a resume and what you really mean is you walked past it once. Alexis is definitely suspicious, and when she leaves, calls somewhere regarding a DNA test. That lab makes a lot of money from Port Charles residents.

If Sabrrrina doesn’t stop “thinking about” Carrrlos, everyone is going to get a clue. She tells Michael she’s pregnant and when he starts singing “You’re Having My Baby,” she gives a soap opera face. Okay, I’m making up the singing part, but he did say it and she did make a face. And she stared at the picture of Carrrlos on the front page of the paper. He asks why she waited so long to tell him, and she says it was fear of losing another baby. This might actually be believable, if she’d lost baby Gabriel from a miscarriage, but it was a car accident. But that’s okay, no one has noticed this.

Kiki is still busy drinking. Morgan questions her drinking alone, and she says it’s better company. Hear, hear!

Whiney voice, I mean, Molly, isn’t happy about Julian moving in. Julian says she’s entitled to her opinion, but he’s entitled to try and change it. She’s like, good luck with that. She seems to think that whatever phone call he was on when she came in has something to do with a kidnapping. She tells Alexis that the next time Julian gets a mysterious phone call, that she should dig a hole and stick her head in it. She storms out while Alexis looks all shocked at the remark. Really? It’s not like Whiney Molly hasn’t been outspoken before. At least Julian has his shirt on today.

Spinelli tells Sam that Jason is still with them, just not in the conventional way. Boy, he has no idea how close he is to the truth. She says she sees Jason in Danny, and is feeling guilty for moving on. “Jake” goes to Windermere to shake Nicholas down about who he really is. Hayden steps in to stop him from strangling Nicholas. Nicholas tells him his life is better without knowing, and he did the DNA test to protect the innocent. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! That’s a good one! He accuses “Jake” of stealing his files and says he must have had help from Sam.”Jake” says to go ahead and press charges, but good luck getting them to stick. Nicholas admits comparing his DNA to an international database, but says there was no result. Like any of us believe that.

A strange (meaning a stranger, not weird) girl approaches Morgan. She says she noticed he got shot down by Kiki, but in lieu of that, he can flirt with her. She introduces herself as Darby Collette, which sounds like a romance writer pseudonym.

Ned goes to see Olivia and tells her he’s been doing a lot of thinking (never a good sign), and that he believes they should go their separate ways. Both Olivia and I make a sad face because Ned has aged really well. Ned says he can’t go along with the charade about Leo. He says that one lie leads to another until instead of living your life, you’re living a lie. Good one. As I’ve mentioned, I’m in this for the action stuff, not the couples, but even I feel badly about this. Ned doesn’t want to break up, but he tells her she has to tell Julian the truth.

It’s the anniversary of Jason’s loss, and Spinelli thinks they should do something special. Sam says Jason never liked a big deal about anything and suggest they just stand there as friends and meditate on the stars. A shooting star goes by and voila! here comes “Jake” to join them. Honestly, this is killing me.

Ned says he wants to stay with Olivia and be a family with Leo, but not under false pretenses. Olivia says she was going to tell Julian the truth, but Julian got arrested before she could say anything. The charges were dropped, but she doesn’t believe he’s out of the mob. Ned tells her good-by, and says that if she needs him for anything, just call.

Darby invites Morgan to a party, and Molly comes by, having used her fake ID to get in the bar. Darby knows Molly from school, and invites her along too. Morgan is on the fence about going, and Darby prods Molly for info on him when he steps away from the table.

Michael tells Sabrrrina that he loves her and wants the baby. He asks her what she wants, and she makes another soap opera face. No one asked me what I want, but I’d like Carrrlos back. Sabrrrina says she loves Michael too. What’s going to happen when that baby comes out with a beard and moustache?

Spinelli leaves Sam and “Jake” on the docks. “Jake” clues Sam in on what happened with Nicholas. He says that Nicholas will probably be running around, tying up loose ends, and that’s when he might slip up.

Nicholas asks Hayden if it might have occurred to her that he’s telling the truth about not knowing “Jake’s” identity, and she laughs her head off. Me too. Young Spencer comes in and it’s time for Hayden to toddle off so he and Nicholas can have a scene together. Spencer asks Nicholas what his intentions are toward Hayden. I love this kid and think he has a huge future in show biz. Spencer says he doesn’t want to like Hayden too much because he doesn’t want things to end up like they did with Britt. Nicholas says he feels the same way, and Spencer asks who he’s kidding, he’s in love with Hayden.

Morgan hassles Kiki some more. She tells him he hurts her just be being around and to leave her alone. She’s not even being that loud, but everyone in the bar seems to be listening in.

The most boring couple in the world, Alexis and Julian, discuss Molly, and I fall asleep.  Oddly enough, Julian gets another mystery call, but instead of taking Molly’s advice, Alexis listens from the hallway. He ends the call with saying if anything goes wrong, they’ll be consequences.

Kiki is done drinking, but has forgotten her wallet. The bartender, who has taken her car keys, tells her to walk home, which is highly unlikely, since he could be held responsible if anything happens. Why isn’t he just calling her a cab (you’re a cab!) and letting her deal with it from there?

Spencer says he sees the mating dance, the smolder and the skip in Nicholas’s step. ROFL! Nicholas steers him to bed.

We end with “Jake” and Sam parting company, while we see another shooting star. Come on already.

The Real Housewives of the OC – Reunion Part One

We start off behind-the-scenes with Meghan saying that she doesn’t know what to expect, and “I’ll just go out and be myself, I guess.” No, Meghan. Go out and be Fred Flintstone. I’d actually prefer Fred.

The ladies (and I use the term loosely) are dressed surprisingly understated. No ball gowns or ballerina outfits, although Shannon has an amazing pair of earrings that I desperately want.

Sadly, Jim’s ex-wife passed away, but on the upside, Hayley actually managed to graduate high school.

Meghan starts off picking on Vicki, because she’s of the opinion that the love for one’s own child is different than that toward a step-child.

I’m shocked when Heather, who is friends with another ex-wife of Jim’s, says that Meghan shouldn’t have criticized the ex on the show because she couldn’t answer for herself.  I agree. I also agree with her that being a stay-at-home mom is sometimes a harder job than working outside the home, and if you do, why can’t you have a nice purse. This was brought up because of Vicki’s comment about a stay-at-home wife spending the husband’s money.

We go down Memory Lane with Vicki and her mom. When Vicki’s mom died, that was one episode I could not watch a second time. My father passed away just before I got married, and I can so identify with how she feels. She says she feels like she doesn’t have anyone “watching out for” her now and I totally understand. She talks about how she still sometimes wants to pick up the phone when something happens and I get that too. When I went to my 20th high school reunion, I found out a childhood friend of mine had died, and my first thought was to call my father, and then I realized he was no longer here. Even after 30 years, it’s a feeling that’s hard to shake. Vicki tells a funny story about her mom getting arrested and it lightens the mood.

Commercial break. Oh, good! The Girlfriend’s Guide to Divorce is coming back for another season. Great show! I also love Odd Mom Out and hope it returns. I was surprised I liked the latter, because I thought I wouldn’t be able to relate, but it’s funny as hell, and more about being a New Yorker than anything else.

They have a funny segment about how particular the women are when they order food in a restaurant. Heather tells Shannon that she’s doing too many colonics. This, coming from the person who duct taped leeches to their stomach. Vicki also got some criticism for telling the naked sushi girl that she should get a real job. In all fairness, she also got a lot of resumes.

Meghan can’t cook Minute Rice? Really? She also doesn’t know who Heather Locklear is. One of the things that’s really bothered me about her is that she’s an ageist. I can’t count the times she’s referenced the ages of the other women in comparison to her 30 years on the earth. When I was in my 30s, one of my closest friends was in her 80s.

Tamra says that she and Meghan “speak the truth,” and I throw up in my mouth.  Andy asks Meghan what “judgy eyes” look like and she makes a cartoon face. I guess they look like Mr. Magoo when he puts on his glasses.

We flash back to Tamra telling us she’s been saved, “and if you don’t like it, you can suck it.” Why? Why does she always have to be so profane? Now, I’m no prude by any stretch of the imagination, but that doesn’t mean I don’t think some things are inappropriate. For instance, I was raised by a sailor and can certainly curse like one, but I don’t do that in front of someone’s aging parents. It was like when Tamra called Alexis “Jesus Jugs.” I was just like WTF? It made me cringe.

Tamra has had a lot of difficulties with her eldest daughter and there have been a lot of conflicts. Apparently, this child needs therapy, and her ex, who fought and won custody, didn’t think it was necessary. The court said because she was 17, she could make the decision of who she wants to live with. After a wonderful vacation together, where afterward her daughter texted “I love you” to her, Tamra’s daughter exited her life and hasn’t returned. Simon, her ex, is a controlling bastard, so it’s not surprising that he would use a child’s health to get back at Tamra. The kids also read the tabloid stuff, which has been less than kind to her. While I don’t think she’s the soul of tact, I don’t think she’s a bad mother and it’s unfortunate that she’s had to go through this. The upside is, it led her to the Lord, and I’m hoping she continues to grow.

Yep, we see the Alexis clip. Alexis sends an email to Andy to pass along to Tamra. Whoa. She totally calls Tamra out. I might have been a little more diplomatic, but she’s right on the money. She says that just because Jesus takes us as we are and we continue to make mistakes, it doesn’t give Tamra a hall pass to act like the same old bitch. I translated that last part. Tamra says Alexis is the kind of Christian that gives Christians a bad name, and that she shouldn’t be sitting in judgment. While I agree with the latter, isn’t Tamra doing the same thing with that statement? And sorry, Tamra is more likely to give Christians a bad name.

The previews show them talking about Brooks. I didn’t think we were going to get any of that tonight.

Ladies of London

They always have great music on this show. I love foreign pop!

Julie says she’s creating a new mold for being a Lady. Alexis Carrington Sophie says British aristocracy is a “civilized pursuit” (what?) and you need to dress the part.

The Baroness has gotten a humongous bouquet from her boyfriend, and I wonder if we’ll ever get to see him. Oooh. The card says “you kiss my soul.” Do you think he made that up himself? There’s more mushy stuff, but that was the best part. Caroline #1 has come by for a visit.

Marissa is telling her husband about the crater-sized faux pas she made at bowling, giving the Baroness a shirt that said “cougar” on it, and proceeding to make some really disgusting comments about dating children. The Baroness was not too happy about it, and the boyfriend pushed Marissa out of the taxi and left her in the street when she was supposed to get a ride home with them. I laugh so hard, I think I’ll bust a gut. Why didn’t Bravo film this???!

Annabelle says that it’s ironic that Julie is a yoga teacher and she’s always in a panic. The group is going on a shooting weekend, an aristocratic and expensive thing to do. The weekend part looks great, but you can leave me out of the shooting. Juliet is hosting it, which is kind of weird. Isn’t she a vegetarian? Marissa is a babbling idiot at dinner. Ha-ha! Juliet doesn’t have to do a thing to get back at her. Just let her be her stupid self. They get on the topic of is cougar a bad thing, and have to explain what MILF means to Julie like she’s a two-year-old. Caroline #1 is on edge because of her business going down the tubes. Everyone is meeting at 8 a.m., but she’s booked a spa day. I’d go with her.

There are elaborate outfits to shoot in. There are a lot of layers and it looks like it’s pretty chilly out. They’re shooting pheasants and partridges (♫ Come on, get happy! ♫), and the meat gets sold to pubs and given to the local people. I would never want to hunt, but I’m okay with others doing it if it gets eaten.

Oh, it’s Julie that’s the vegetarian. Why do their names have to be so similar, and why do we have 2 Carolines? Juliet says Marissa wants to be Victoria Beckham. Not bloody likely. Ever. Yay! It’s time to go to the pub.

Joan Collins Sophie says a shot of vodka in your soup can get you through the day or something like that. She also says that on these shooting weekends, they basically drink their faces off.

Julie and Marissa are having champagne and a bubble bath together. I don’t really like bubble baths much to begin with, but this is really weird IMO. The other girls have gone to the bar to have champagne. Everyone reconvenes for dinner. Caroline #1 needs to eat immediately, and I understand this. My husband has learned to understand that if we’re in the car and I say I need to eat now, I mean now, not 30 minutes from now. Oooh. The Baroness says Marissa makes her insides crawl. Me too! Caroline #1 tells Marissa that even if she apologized, she also blabbed to everyone within hearing distance about the cab thing, and it got back to the Baroness’s family. Marissa is also best friends with the Baroness’s sister.

Commercial break. Why is Samuel L. Jackson stumping for Capital One? He can’t possibly need the money.

Caroline #1 has to explain things to Marissa. Marissa hunts down the Baroness in the bathroom. The Baroness says she tried to climb out the window, but it was locked. Marissa is so freaking dense. She says she didn’t tell the whole world. Doesn’t matter. She told the wrong person. She has no business discussing the Baroness’s boyfriend with anyone. The Baroness says that her boyfriend did not “push” her out of the car, that she was dawdling, so they took off. I tend to believe her. The Baroness has had enough though, and accepts Marissa’s apology. Too bad. I liked the Evil Baroness, staring daggers at Marissa. The girls come back in with their arms around each other and everyone applauds. More dinking and parlor games.

This includes funneling some tequila into Juliet’s mouth. Yuk!

Next week, it’s London Fashion Week!

Oct13

October 12, 2015 — From PC to the OC to the UK

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

Dillon lays a kiss on Lulu, but she’s not having it. Nicholas lays a kiss on Hayden and she’s totally having it, and more, but just as they’re getting into it, she says she remembers something. Unless she’s remembering how good he is in bed, this might not go well.  Love Hayden’s highlights! So much better than the way too light ones she had as Greenlee on AMC that made her look like she had grey hair.

Sam and “Jake” are still teetering outside the window, but they’ve moved to a balcony. Hayden thinks Nicholas might have been threatening her in the memory that’s coming through. Nicholas says that yes, he was upset with her at some point and was going to throw her off the island (Island location confirmed! Now just tell me how they get there so fast.), but they “got past it” as they always did. Apparently getting past it means getting busy, which they’re just about to do, when the two stooges outside make some noise.

Dillon says he’s trying to protect Lulu from what Dante did with Valerie, but stops short of telling her everything. Speaking of which, how many people know about that? It seems like wherever Valerie goes, she’s discussing it with someone. Now she’s talking to Jordan about it.

Morgan is playing pool at The Floating Rib (which seems to be getting a lot of play these days), when Ava drops by. As usual, he’s acting like a jerk. Ava wants Avery to know her siblings and asks Morgan to put a lid on his animosity.

Nina wants to redecorate and Kiki gets weird about that, saying Nina is erasing all the memories of Silas. Maybe she shouldn’t live with them or keep her opinions to herself. Who wants to move into a dead guy’s place and not redecorate? This isn’t The Tenant. Kiki is also acting like a jerk, but she’s a lot more amusing. She wants to move out and take all of Silas’s stuff with her. I think that’s a great idea and so does Nina, but Franco doesn’t agree with us.

Lulu thinks Dillon is just making stuff up and gets really p.o.’d. She says she’s happy and he needs to back off.

Jordan has a talk with Dante. She points out that Dante is Valerie’s superior, which I hadn’t thought of before. If Valerie wanted to, she could create a problem for him at work. Valerie breaks into the conference and says after what happened with the pregnancy test, she’s sure there’s nothing between them anymore. Yeah, right.

Lulu tells Dante that Dillon kissed her. Valerie shows up at Dillon’s studio or wherever it is they’re filming, and wants a buddy to talk to, but when she doesn’t want a drink, Dillon thinks she is pregnant. Because that’s the only reason a woman wouldn’t want a drink.

Ava asks Morgan for help with Kiki. She sees that Kiki’s hate is eating her alive and she’s only harming herself. Ava thinks that maybe Morgan can get through to her. Why?

Nina tells Franco that she’s only been with one man, Silas. When he asks about Ric, she says she never even kissed him.

Sam thinks she has a sprained ankle, so “Jake” carries her down the castle wall like King Kong. Not really, but that would have been cool. He carries her inside and at this point, I have no idea what their proximity is to Nicholas and Hayden. Nicholas checks out on the balcony and says “Goliath,” Spencer’s favorite gargoyle, has fallen. Hayden suggests the prince’s castle is crumbling around him. Good job, “Jake” and Sam.

Commerical break. Why does the Little People Musical Dancing Palace only have one prince to three princesses?

Dante gets steamed about the Dillon/Lulu kiss, even though she says she didn’t really participate. I think he’s more concerned about what Dillon might have said about him and Valerie. Lulu says she told Dillon that the “just one kiss” was no big deal and she shouldn’t have gone so crazy over it. This just gets worse every second and I love it.

Kiki shows up at the bar, half tells off Morgan and Ava, and starts to get her drink on. She ends up throwing a drink in Ava’s face and the bartender cuts her off. She reaches over the bar for the vodka bottle and after a quick wrestle with the bartender, it drops and breaks. Kiki looks horrified at herself. The cops show up and arrest her. She’s doing pretty well playing a drunk, but once again the director went to the bathroom during the scene. No one tosses back a large vodka shot like it’s really water, even if it is.

Franco and Nina are about to put another man on her list when the phone rings. It’s Kiki’s phone, but it’s Morgan calling to tell Franco what’s happened.

Valerie ends up having a drink (thank you for making it look like a drink) with Dillon and they toast to their friendship and the people who they love who will never love them back. Even though Valerie feels nothing for Dante.

Hayden and Nicholas’s romantic moment has been interrupted by the gargoyle fall, and she says they’ve been moving too fast. She wants to recover mentally before they rekindle their relationship. She makes a few faces when she’s alone in the hallway that make me wonder if she remembers more than she’s saying.

“Jake” and Sam leave the room they’re in without even checking around. Maybe these two need new professions.

The Real Housewives of the OC

The show hasn’t even started yet, and Meghan is whining about husband Jim only being in the OC 50% of the time. She knew that when she married him. Did she forget? I wouldn’t be surprised. She says it’s a lot harder than she thought it would be and she doesn’t like it. Wah-wah.

Tamra is getting baptized. Good thing God accepts us as we are. Heather says she thinks Tamra is ready for a fresh start. Me too, but I don’t see much evidence of it. Tamra is talking about change and how everyone is going to see a new side of her. I’ll believe this when I see her walking the walk; talk is cheap. Cool. The mini choir is singing a song I know about the blood of Jesus (I sang in a Christian band for a couple of years) and they’re totally rocking it. Tamra says she found the Lord when she was going through her difficulties with her ex (who was a controlling creep), and now her mess is her message. I hope Tamra’s serious about this. After she gets dunked, the choir sings “Amazing Grace,” and everyone is all happy. This won’t last long.

I hate it with a passion when  someone changes what I’ve said to suit themselves. As much as I love Shannon, I think she has a listening problem. She’s afraid to see Vicki because she doesn’t want Vicki to call her “disgusting” again. Except Vicki never said that. She said Shannon’s remarks were disgusting. That’s two different things. Heaving huge sigh.

Commerical break. This is really weird. It’s an ad for the new Bradley Cooper movie, Burnt (which looks excellent), and they’re interspersing it with clips from the OC Wives. Why? Are they in it? Worst. Co-branding. Ever.

The food looks amazing! Geez, at my baptism, we just had cookies and coffee. Ha-ha! There’s a devil’s food and angel food cake. Vicki is avoiding the other women because she wants the day to be about Tamra and not have conflict. How long do you think this could possibly last? Some of the Wives from past seasons are there too. I agree with Vicki that she’s been more than a good friend to Shannon, and Shannon hasn’t exactly returned the favor.

These women just can’t seem to stop themselves from blabbing about Brooks. The latest story is that he claimed to call Heather’s husband, Terry, after his first chemo treatment, and Terry called a colleague to go help him. Terry says not so. Heather wonders how they could lie about something “so traceable,” and I do too. That’s the part I never get. You’d think if Brooks is a con man, he’d be better at it.

Commerical break. More coolness. Tootie from The Facts of Life is going to be on the next season of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Move over, Nene. Oh, that’s right, you’re not there anymore. Are you doing anything now?

Vicki’s brother, Billy, is discussing Brooks with the women sans Vicki. Vicki claims she has another party to go to and wants to leave. Of course Heather is trying to stop her and brings up the Terry story. Vicki tells her she doesn’t have a clue about it. Shannon is going on and on about how Vicki asked her for help, but then didn’t take it. Shannon doesn’t seem to get it. When a friend tells you to stop talking about something, you should stop talking about it. I have a friend who is very sweet, but has the emotional level of a 10-year-old. When you ask him not to bring something up, it’s all he can talk about, and it reminds me of this bunch. Oooh, snap! Billy’s girlfriend, Ronda, says something about how Vicki didn’t ask Shannon for records about her husband cheating. Shannon claims Vicki must have put her up to it. Highly doubtful. She’s just defending her boyfriend’s sister.

Shannon goes apesh*t on Vicki. Maybe Ronda shouldn’t have said anything, but I don’t think it’s out of line for Vicki to have told her brother and Ronda, especially since by then, everyone else knew. Vicki says Shannon was pushing and pushing, and got what she deserved. Poor Vicki just wants to get out of there, but Tamra and the pastor hunt her down like a dog and want her to talk it out with Shannon. Everyone seems to have forgotten too, that Vicki’s mother recently passed away and she’s still depressed about it. IMO, these aren’t friends. Shannon confronts Vicki, and Vicki reminds her about the first season, when Shannon was somewhat ostracized and Vicki stuck by her.

Heather just said you can’t talk about someone’s business without their permission; it’s not cool. Um….

Tamra follows Vicki to the limo and tells her about Meghan calling the imaging place about the PET scan and they claimed not to do those there. It’s funny how these women claim they don’t want drama, yet they’re the ones who bring it on all the time. Funny too, how Heather says Shannon’s accident with the colonic wouldn’t happen to her. Maybe not, but she is the one who bled all over the place at Tamra’s last party because she had leeches duct taped to her stomach. At that point, she lost about 50% of her credibility with me.

This was the finale, so they had the little blurbs at the end about what everyone is doing now. Brooks and Vicki broke up (again), but I already knew that. Meghan went on and on about living by the truth and I gagged. Shannon lost 15 pounds and Brooks wants to see the records, which is pretty funny. The rest was just mundane stuff, but Heather, who was last, talked about how they really love Vicki and all this forgive and move on stuff. Here’s how I’ve felt about this season. I don’t know if Brooks is lying, although I can think of legitimate reasons for everything they’ve questioned. I took a look at the imaging place online too, and it says they do PET scans. (I’m not the only one who did this either, so at least I don’t feel alone in my ridiculousness.) If they really did tell Meghan (we never see any “records” of the snooping she’s done either) that they’d send you to the hospital, it’s possible they do the imaging, but use the hospital’s facility. But I don’t think whether he’s lying or not really matters. What matters is that, for caring friends, they didn’t handle this well. Maybe none of them have lost a parent they were close to, but I have and I know what Vicki is going through. I highly doubt she’d participate in a lie, and if she’s just being delusional, maybe she needs that right now, so leave her the blip alone. They should have been supportive and understanding and just stopped talking about it. Instead, they were relentless in their quest to prove Brooks a liar and overwhelmed her even more than she was already.

The reunion ought to be a good one.

Ladies of London

Marissa is meeting Annabelle. She’s brought some hats with her restaurant logo and wants Annabelle’s advice. I just don’t like Marissa. Something about her doesn’t sit well with me. She seems kind of phony. Like how she just went on about how their friendship is “organic,” and in the next breath, gushes about how Annabelle is a super famous fashion model. I wouldn’t know. I get the feeling she’s a sycophant.

Caroline #1’s business is not doing well. She’s got a balloon payment coming up on her store loan, due on the 31st, less than a month away. It sounds like she might have to fire people, which, unless you’re a really nasty human being, nobody wants to do. For all her stoicism and sarcasm, I think she’s a softy underneath in a lot of ways. She also has friends coming in from America. A famous gay football player, but I didn’t catch his name (Michael something or other) and I know nothing about football, only vaguely remembering when he came out. His partner and kids are with him. The last thing Caroline #1 wants to do is entertain, but it’s their first time in the UK and she feels obligated.

Annabelle is writing her fourth children’s book. Each one is about a different characteristic – Angry Me, Messy Me, and Dreamy Me. They look very cute and beneficial to kids.

Julie is going to her husband’s cousin’s estate because she wants to learn how to run her husband’s family home, Mapperton. He’s the Earl of Sandwich (I’m not kidding) and like billionth in line for the throne. The upkeep for an estate is very expensive, and some people have tours or rent the place out for weddings and such to get capital.

Caroline #1 takes her guests on a field trip – a bus tour of London. The bus looks like a ship. That’s different.  Oh wow! It really goes on the water. I’ve never seen anything like it. I want one.

The Baroness (Caroline #2) meets with Julie and Annabelle for lunch, where they discuss Juliet. The Baroness wants to help Juliet connect with her feelings or something, and Julie says good luck with that. The Baroness invites Juliet over to cook dinner together. It turns out she’s written a few cookbooks. Juliet gets the Baroness’s point that if she talked less and reacted less, people would have less to talk about.

The ladies are going bowling. Juliet says the Midwest and bowling go hand in hand. I dunno. I was never very good at bowling and thought it was kind of boring. I think my high score was a 68. Juliet has gotten them all bowling shirts – I do love a bowling shirt – with their nicknames on them. She also passes out wigs, but I don’t know what’s up with that. Joan Collins Sophie thinks bowling is fun. I feel out of this loop. Okay, they bring out the champagne and that I’m down with.

Uh-oh, Marissa makes a stupid remark about “lock up your children” in regard to the Baroness, who is dating a 30-year-old. Marissa also says he’s a bit of a d-bag in her individual interview. Oh man, she said the Baroness likes little boys. Is she drunk? Caroline #1 says that it’s really uncool to cross the Baroness. Good. Because I like the Baroness and I don’t like Marissa.

Julie and Juliet make up. Caroline #1 says Juliet is like an annoying sister and Julie says that there’s something weird about her that she likes. I like her too. She’s emotional, but fun.

Looks like there will be a sit down with Marissa and the Baroness next week.

Oct6

October 5, 2015 — GH, the OC, London & a Stink

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Franco and Nina are out to celebrate their conscious coupling, and see Kiki doing shots at the bar. Nina says it’s a funny place for an investment job. I might agree, but I worked in investments in the 80s.The dude she’s doing shots with apparently wants payment for those shots with some nookie, and Kiki fights off his advances until Franco steps in, saying she’s his daughter. After the guy backs off, half-in-the-bag Kiki tells Franco he’s not her father, that her father was killed by Nina’s lunatic of a mother (like that’s his fault), and to get lost. Instead, he drags her sorry ass out of the bar.

Anna and Emma are having an after school snack at a table outside a restaurat. Emma says she wants to write about her grandma for a school assignment because she’s the best person in the world. Ouch! Knife to Anna’s heart. Anna tries to talk Emma into writing about her dad, but Emma basically says he’s a real bore and she’d rather write about Anna, who’s a hero and can do no wrong. Another stab. Sabrrrina shows up  and tells Emma to go in and buy some cookies, which I already know must be a ploy to talk to Anna alone.

Laura’s back! I’ve been hoping against hope that she’ll be the one who reveal’s “Jake’s” true identity. Maybe I’ll get my wish. She shows up at Patrick’s house and has flashbacks of talking to Elizabeth before she left. She notices Sam’s engagement ring. DUN-DUN-DUNNN!

Hayden is looking up old news on the laptop to try and put the pieces of her life together. Nicholas tells her that she’s looking at tabloid crap and he’s already told her everything. Nicholas thinks Hayden is up to something, but she says she’s honestly just trying to figure her past out, while she’s rocking a great new haircut. Nicholas gets kind of pissed off and leaves. I still can’t decide whether I believe her or not.

Elizabeth is out with “Jake.” It must be date night or something. These two are so unexciting as a couple, I can’t wait until this is over. “Jake” is still unnerved about Sonny calling him “Jason.” Elizabeth gets a call from Hayden, who is wondering why she broke a vase in anger at Nicholas’s castle or mansion or fiefdom or whatever it is he lives in. It’s one of the few memories that she has and Elizabeth was there. Before Elizabeth can say anything, Nicholas takes the phone from Hayden.

Paul says blah-blah-blah to Michael about getting justice for Sonny, which Tracy isn’t too thrilled about, since Sonny shot AJ. She apologizes to Michael for her outburst, but when he leaves, she tells Paul that she’s not really sorry because Sonny is a lowlife.

No surprise, Sabrrrina wants to talk to Anna about Carrrlos. While she doesn’t know he’s dead, she’s not buying that he would have shot Sonny. She thinks she would have heard from him by now, and thinks she should tell the police, but Anna says that would be a bad idea because she would have to admit to aiding and abetting after Duke’s murder. Nice save.

Laura says the reason she came to Patrick’s first is that she has a condition that needs to be monitored and asks Patrick to be her neurologist. It’s highly doubtful that’s why it was her first stop, but when she saw how cozy Patrick and Sam were, I think she hesitated to tell them about “Jake.” Dammit!

Michael has boomeranged back, and Tracy gives him a mini lecture on how he’s never been a Corinthos and should behave like the Quartermaine he is.

Kiki tells Franco that she lied so he wouldn’t feel sorry for her, and that since Silas died, she has no direction. Franco says that when he thought she was his daughter, it was some of the best time of his life, and I wonder if he’s thinking about Todd and Starr and the good old One Life To Live days.

Uh-oh, Tracy just said she’s going off to pray for patience. Don’t do it. Your patience will only get tested as a result. Sabrrrina has shown up and tells Michael she doesn’t think it’s Carrrlos who shot Sonny.

When Anna and Emma get back to Patrick’s, he and Sam tell them about the engagement. Sam says she feels like the luckiest woman in the world. Just wait, Sam.

Hayden wants to know whose secret she’s keeping, hers or Nicholas’s. She says he’s trying to control her and that every time she’s making any headway, he either gets all control freakish or flirty, which she tells him is “enjoyable and effective,” but she’s not someone who can be controlled. To prove this point, she gives in to his amorous advances as Laura walks in.

It stinks that Dr. Phil is on at the same time. Today’s show said it was about a homeless guy who thinks he’s a famous songwriter, which sounds totally delusional, but interesting.

The Real Housewives of the OC

All right, here we go. I’m already hating on Meghan when they show scenes from the previous episodes. She said she thought all children were raised the same. That’s a huge part of her problem. She thinks everything should be the way it is/was for her.

Of course when the show starts, because I stupidly watched First Look again, I had that moment where I thought I saw it before and wonder how that can be.

Brianna starts off with saying idiotic things. Brooks is away, and she, Ryan and children are staying with Vicki. Brianna and Ryan are whispering in the kitchen about how the house feels weird and smells strange. WTF is wrong with these people? Brianna is a married woman with her own family and I just don’t get how she feels she can dictate what her mother does. I still say there’s a reason why they’ve been in Oklahoma a year and have no friends.

Tamra is getting baptized. Look out for lightning storms in the OC.

Shannon and David are seeing their counselor who makes house calls. I have to admit, I wasn’t that crazy about either one of them, especially him, when they first joined the cast, but Shannon has grown to be one of my favorite wives. I have to give David props too, for getting his act together and letting us in on it. And it makes sense now why he was such a creep last season. It’s good of them to air their counseling sessions as well.

Heather, Tamra and Shannon meet for lunch. Tamra wastes no time in pointing out that Heather’s new skin products “also cure cancer.” She says this because one of the ingredients is the same as what Brooks is using to combat his cancer. But aren’t antioxidants used for more than one thing? Again, continuing from last week, there’s a big whoop-de-do about why they chose Tamra to look at Brook’s medical report. Vicki was clear that her reason for doing it was because Tamra started this whole thing with the psychotic…I mean, psychic. I recently read that the so-called psychic is sorry he ever met them, and how much do you want a bet it was a set up by Andy Cohen anyway? Maybe not Andy personally, but he is the pitchfork that prods these shows. Shannon tells them about David’s affair and to her credit, Heather had already known, but has kept her mouth shut this whole time. In Orange County, there’s a 72% divorce rate. Holy! I honestly think these two are going to make it and I’m proud of them.

Brianna says that Vicki works to make something work that shouldn’t work, because she doesn’t want to be alone. Isn’t that her business? I’ve said this before. I don’t care for Brooks, but I never see him treat Vicki like anything but a queen, so who cares if he’s lying his ass off? Brianna has had it out for him ever since (a billion seasons ago) when he was drunk and told Brianna’s husband he should smack her one. Not so nice, but I’ve wanted to smack her one several times, so I get where he was coming from. To top it off, Brianna’s husband, Ryan, doesn’t seem like much of a prize to me. He seems to have calmed down some, but he was a nasty piece of work for a while. Geez, and I thought I could hold a grudge.

Tamra is now meeting Brianna for lunch. No good is going to come from this. Brianna needs to comb her hair. She says she likes Tamra because she’s so honest. Puh-leeze. She’s nasty and uses the word “honest” to justify it. I’m hoping to God (literally) that her finding Jesus changes her personality. In her individual interview segment, Brianna says there’s nothing Brooks can do to get her to like him. Of course Tamra has to tell her about the PET scan business. Because I have no life, I’d Googled he place myself and it said they do them, so….?

Brianna talks about how Vicki has suffered because of her relationship with Brooks. Well, yeah, but that’s not because of Brooks. It’s because of you. I’m heaving huge sighs through this whole episode so far. I don’t get why everyone just doesn’t drop it.

Oh ho! Tamra says Vicki is using her to do her dirty work and “spread the news.” No comment. No, I take that back. Why is it okay for her to spread all kinds of other news – Meghan’s “research” news, the psychic’s news, any nasty news that comes into her stupid head? There was a point where I’d thought she changed and I was starting to like her, but no. Apparently, she thinks being baptized is also a beauty contest and buys an expensive dress and has her makeup done. She’s an idiot.

Holy! Shannon was doing an at home colonic and got a piece of plastic stuck inside her. She’s going to use an enema to fix this? Damn, woman, go to the ER. It turns out that nothing was there and it must have…um…come out in another way.

Whenever I see Heather and Terry, I think it must be nice to be absolutely loaded.

Everyone keeps talking about how much Tamra has changed. Are we just skipping over the bad parts? Is it me? Both Vicki and Shannon are taking separate limos to the baptism, and something doesn’t seem right about that.

In the preview, Tamra says Vicki could be going to hell for lying. Apparently, she hasn’t been paying attention in Jesus class.

Ladies of London

I love the Baroness’s (otherwise known as Caroline #2) relationship with her two Dachshunds. Her decorating skills are awesome too. She’s got a new relationship going on and she’s pretty excited about it. Her counselor also makes house calls.

Juliet stops by to see Caroline #1 and explains that she told Julie about Caroline’s mini tirade against her, and Julie had to run to Annabelle with it. Caroline #1 says Juliet must be a moron if she thinks anything she says to any of them isn’t going to be broadcast. I agree.

Marissa, who hasn’t taken the gigantic stick out of her butt yet, is discussing her new business venture with her husband. She’s whining about how it’s taking her away from her family. It’s not like she has no concept of working outside the home; what did she think was going to happen?

Annabelle and Julie go to a juice bar. Julie says that Juliet had a “look of horror,” when she passed along the info to Annabelle about Caroline #1. I don’t know what Brits consider a look of horror (even though Julie is American), but that wasn’t it IMO. I think Julie is a little unhinged actually. Everything seems to make her nervous and she’s afraid of making Caroline #1 angry. Caroline #1 has her own set of problems right now with her business (Gift Library) and I highly doubt she gives a flying about any of this. Julie claims to have some gene that makes her extra sensitive. I think maybe she reads too much. I had to take the medical dictionary away from my husband once, since he thought he had every single issue he was reading about. Annabelle tells Julie that she needs to own her feelings and confront Caroline #1, but Julie is askard of her.

Caroline and her sister-in-law, Alexis Carrington Sophie, are having a confab about the New Year’s Eve party. If all this stuff is as unimportant as they say it is, why are they still talking about it?

Marissa is meeting with some brand expert. She’s all startled that things are more expensive than she thought they would be. Welcome to the world. Julie is also trying to get some funding for her JUG balls, which are similar to energy bars. She’s sweating bullets over it, which is no surprise, since she seems to get nervous over just about everything. She’s so nervous, she makes me nervous just watching her. She’s been distributing her Scweddy JUG balls herself, but it’s time to branch out. More ball jokes, but she gets the investors on board.

It’s Joan Collins’s Sophie’s birthday, so all the girls are paying tribute. Julie is “petrified” over seeing Caroline #1 for the first time since the New Year’s Eve debacle. What a shock. Where’s Ramona when you need her to scream, “Take a Xanax!”  What do they call not being able to leave high school in the UK? OMG. Julie looks like such a suck up. Annabelle isn’t impressed and says the only way to deal with Caroline #1 is to stand up to her, but instead, Julie gives her a present. And seriously, she looks like a panting puppy while waiting for Caroline #1’s approval.  It seems like more of a bachelorette party than a birthday. They stab at piñatas that have sex toys in them.  Because she’s really mad at Caroline #1, Julie picks a fight with Juliet. I’m starting not to like Julie. Why am I fighting with Juliet about fighting with Caroline when I’m not fighting about Caroline? says Juliet. Why indeed.

And I don’t think Caroline #1 is scary at all. I quite like her. She’s says after an issue with someone, she moves on and gets over it, because life is too short to do otherwise. She, Victoria Gotti Sophie and Juliet have a nice talk and hugs all around.

Next week looks interesting. They’re going bowling in wigs. And Caroline #1 is going to have to deal with New Yorkers. Ha-ha!

Reeker

Because Halloween is coming up and this is one of my favorite horror films and it’s on Showtime rotation.

The title of this film is somewhat off-putting and I almost didn’t watch it the first time because of that. When I saw Michael Ironside was in it though, I decided to give it a look. He’s a wonderful actor (loved him in V) and also a lovely human being.

I don’t want to say too much about this film, since it has a surprise ending. It’s actually one of those films you might want to watch more than once to catch the clues. It’s no The Usual Suspects, but it’s pretty clever.

A group of kids (not kid kids, but young people) are lost and stumble upon what looks like the Halfway Tourist Oasis, a deserted motel, diner and gas station. It looks like it was inhabited not long before, as all the lights are still on and it looks like everyone left in a hurry. It also stinks to high heaven, hence the film title. When one of them tries to go down the road to find help, he runs into Michael Ironside, who’s driving around in circles in an RV, looking for his missing wife.

Throughout the film, strange characters show up, like a dude whose bottom half is chopped off, along with a hooded figure that keeps making a periodic appearance. Bad things start happening and that’s all I’m going to say.

While this isn’t exactly a classic, it’s well worth taking the time to watch. The pace is good, the story is intelligent and a little different, the gore is nicely done, and the ending is satisfying.

Sep29

September 28, 2015 — GH, the OC & London

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

General Hospital

It was good of them to go back to Friday’s last minute with the first minute today, since ABC broke in with non-breaking news on Friday.  Ava picks up where she left off, saying she knows who shot Sonny.

Oh, hi, Anna! Are you still on this show?

I’m not sure if I’m going to make it to November 6 (I.e. the “Jake”/Elizabeth wedding when they’ll probably wrap this up). Now Sam says she feels like Jason is right beside her, and he is. Please, I can’t take this anymore. They’re in the garden of some Asian restaurant and it just so happens that the owners’ son is the one who married Jason and Sam. The dude’s grandmother comes out. She’s blind, but her other senses are super keen. She tells Jake that he’s Jason.

Oh ho! Blame the dead guy! Ava says it was Carrrlos who shot Sonny. I wish he had shot Sonny, since that means he’d still be on the show. Good logic though. She says he was “working his way up,” starting with Duke. Since very few people know he’s dead, this might work.

Anna, Julian and Alexis are going around and around about who killed Duke. Wasn’t this like last year? Oh snap! Julian suggests Anna deal with Carrrlos, unless she already did.  Either Julian knows more than he’s letting on or he’s a really good guesser.

Sonny wants to marry Carly in the hospital.

The old Asian lady is convinced that Jake is Jason. She thinks they’re there to celebrate their anniversary.

At the mob sit down, everyone, including the one other woman who’s at the table, is wearing either black or navy blue, so Ava totally stands out in her orange get-up and blonde hair. I really do love her outfit, but she’s been wearing it for days. Everyone votes for an “immediate cease fire,” even though there hasn’t been any shooting since Sonny got shot.

Commercial break. The Soaps in Depth magazine has a big article on how Morgan and Michael will be fighting for Sonny’s territory. I’m not so sure either one of them could get a fast food order right.

Anna sees Paul and it’s like old home week. Michael agrees to mob peace. He looks incredibly out of place with all of the adults. It reminds me of that scene in Fast Times at Ridgemont High when Mark and Stacy go on a date, and he forgets his wallet. All of a sudden, everyone wants to look for Carrrlos.

Back at the restaurant, this is the most sighted-looking blind person I’ve ever seen. Do the directors on this show walk off the set periodically throughout the day? The grandmother wants Sam and “Jason” (I don’t even know where to use quote marks now) to renew their vows and it looks like they’re going to humor her. Who does that? By God, someone is going to get married today.

And it’s Sonny.

Jake says the vow renewal might help Sam get over Jason. What? Did you know a bride and groom are a dragon and phoenix? Me neither. We get the vow renewal interspersed with Sonny’s wedding. Lots of hearts and flowers and birds flying around with ribbons in their mouths.

And in the timing that soaps are famous for, just as the rings are about to be exchanged, Sonny goes into cardiac arrest.

The Real Housewives of the OC

I’m so glad Shannon and her husband, David, are putting their marriage back together. Shannon seems weirded out by the pretty much everything, from the restaurant menu to Brooks and Vicki.

Tamra is getting baptized. Someone needs to help her out. Where is that pastor? She says that someone should make a blonde version of the bible since it’s not an easy read. Has no one told her that there are about a million different translations and they probably have that one? Is she reading the King James? No wonder she’s having a problem. Pastor Mike seems like a nice guy and I like his thought that Jesus is the GPS system for our lives, but he isn’t really teaching her very well. I knew a Pastor Mike, but this isn’t him. At least Tamra isn’t calling him a “pasture” any more. That joke was getting old.

Vicki and Brooks are visiting a doctor that practices both Eastern and Western medicine. His intern, or whatever she is, talks about organic coffee enemas. Um…no thanks. I’m all for holistic treatment, but not coffee in my butt.

I’m seriously not understanding the whole Brooks is faking cancer thing. This dude is a doctor, he’s looking at medical records and Brooks is getting some kind of IV oxygenation treatment. If he’s faking, he’s certainly doing a good job, but wouldn’t some doctor along the way have noticed?

Heather and Terry are getting ready to hawk their skincare line on a home shopping channel. Terry is freaking somewhat because it’s live TV. Heather is hoping he can “rise to the challenge,” which means she hopes he doesn’t make a fool of both of them. After the leech incident, I’m not sure I would trust them with my skin care. It doesn’t have slug spit or something in it, does it? Terry is stumbling all over the place at rehearsal, but I like him anyway. Heather is mystified that he’s having a problem with this, but it’s totally understandable. Seriously, I’d be more concerned about having credibility after duct taping leeches to my stomach. Heather says bad dress rehearsal, good show. We used to say that when I worked in theatre too, but that doesn’t make it true.

Tamra is helping Ryan to move in to his new home. The one she forked over the 8 grand for him to buy. She goes over to Vicki’s and gives Brooks a hug like nothing ever happened. Did we miss something? In the last episode, Tamra was screaming at him. Brooks shows Tamra some paper about the results of his PET scan. Now I already know that Meghan is going to challenge this by calling the facility and finding out they don’t do PET scans there. If this is the case though, what’s up with the doctor they just visited? Unless Brooks is honestly convinced he has it and doesn’t, and has also managed to convince the medical people he’s seeing, I don’t know what to make of this.

Interesting. In talking about raising her stepdaughter, Meghan thought all kids were raised the same. This explains a lot, since she doesn’t seem to understand anything outside her narrow realm of experience. They have an amazing kitchen. I’m apparently doomed to having a kitchen the size of a postage stamp. When I moved from an apartment to an 8-room house, the kitchen was actually smaller than the one in my last apartment.

Terry is doing well on the actual show. Since no one has anything better to do, the rest of the ladies get together to watch – without Vicki, since it’s at Meghan’s house. Apparently, one of the ingredients in the product is the same as the antioxidant Brooks claimed to be using to fight his cancer, so Lizzie makes a stupid comment that their product must cure cancer. 1) It didn’t look like the same spelling or sound like the exact same thing, 2) antioxidants can be used for more than one thing, 3) wouldn’t Heather have mentioned that when they talked about it before? and 4) what an freaking stupid thing to say. Tamra makes a prank phone call to the show which is pretty funny, but Heather and Terry are only fooled for 5 seconds. Aww, Terry and Heather are all in love again after the show.

Here comes the part where Meghan called the facility. Twice. Tamra wonders why she was the chosen one to see the report and of course Meghan thinks it’s because Tamra is the idiot of the group. She asks why they weren’t shown to her since she has a “medical background” – because she’s seen medical records before. Um….  Shannon’s feelings are hurt because Vicki didn’t include her and she’s been their biggest advocate. It seems that she forgot  that twice she made Vicki extremely upset because she couldn’t stop talking when Vicki asked her to shut up. Tamra and Vicki also used to be besties and she’s known Tamra a helluva lot longer than the others.

In playing devil’s advocate, I can totally come up with reasons for every piece of information about Brook’s cancer that is cropping up. And how can he be such a smooth con man that he fools doctors, yet makes these huge mistakes? On the other hand, WTF? ??

Ladies of London

We’re back at the New Year’s Eve party, which at this point is going on way too long. Caroline #1’s SIL is way drunk and totally supportive of Caroline making humping gestures over Juliet’s prone husband while in a unicorn costume. I’m not sure why this is okay. Will someone please support me here?  Yes, it wasn’t exactly sexy, but it was still out of line. Juliet decides to apologize for overreacting (which she really didn’t) and it doesn’t go well because the SIL, Joan Collins Sophie, keeps instigating. I get revenge the next morning because they all have serious hangovers.

What I don’t get about some of these women is that they act like all kinds of propriety should be followed, but then act like inappropriate idiots themselves. They keep pointing the finger at the “emotional” Americans, yet act like teenagers being given alcohol for the first time. I guess it’s one of those things where it’s a different set of rules for everyone. I hate that. HA-HA! Marissa’s mascara is all over her face. Go wash up, you cow.

The next morning everyone comes down to the chaotic confetti-laden room for breakfast. Caroline #1 is annoyed because Juliet is acting like nothing happened. Isn’t that what she wanted? Caroline had also been bitching about Julie getting weepy when she was drunk and now takes back her apology. Annabelle says it’s a “truly ungracious moment” and I agree. It’s sad. I liked Caroline #1, but now she’s acting like a complete a-hole. I think some of these ladies – and I use the term loosely – probably shouldn’t drink.

The two Carolines meet for a walk. Caroline #1 says Juliet was “looking for a fight.” Sorry. Don’t see it that way. She sees an online article from the Sunday Times business section via her phone. It’s Marissa promoting her new restaurant venture, and the picture shows her showing off a hot dog. (This is not a euphemism for anything. She has a literal hot dog in her hands. It looks pretty good too.) Caroline #1 of course has something snarky to say and I can’t wait for it to get back to Marissa, who also thinks her poopy doesn’t stink and whose feelings will be hurt no matter how she shrugs it off. I want to see these  two with the biggest egos go at it. That is if both of their heads can fit in one room.

Caroline #1 (is the whole show about her tonight?) has to pay some note (a loan to us Yanks) in regard to her store and the Christmas sales were not what they’d hoped for. I do feel for her on this front. Its date night for her and her husband, who travels an awful lot for work. I believe her shoe closet is entirely worth it though. In discussing her latest phone call with Juliet, she sounds like a middle-schooler. I don’t know why, but it still surprises me when people who seem so sophisticated are reduced to total morons once the cameras are rolling. Lisa Vanderpump, we salute you. You’re the only one with any dignity left.

The Baroness (Caroline #2) is taking a trip to her homeland of Denmark. She lands in Copenhagen, which makes me remember signing a petition about them unnecessarily euthanizing zoo animals. Wanting to visit and crossing it off the list in the same second. I kind of like this Caroline, although my jury’s still out due to the other Caroline. She lost her mother at a young age and is very close to her grandmother.  OMG – her grandmother has the most fabulous teapot ever! It sort of looks like a cabbage head. I love that type of ceramic serving piece and have some of them myself. I once worked for Lord & Taylor’s corporate office across from the Fifth Avenue store, where they occasionally had sample sales for the employees. I was thrilled to snag a few for about 8 bucks each, since normally they were way out of my price league. That also tells you something about the markup.

Julie, Annabelle and Juliet are having lunch. I want to eat at every restaurant they show on here. Julie is talking about Caroline #1’s anti-apology.  Julie has told Annabelle about Caroline #1 getting nasty on the phone with Juliet, and Juliet isn’t happy about that. The other two think she’s afraid of Caroline. Yep, we’re still in high school.

Next week’s coming attraction shows them being at another event where they’re drinking. I just can’t imagine what the outcome will be. I just hope it doesn’t involve animal costumes.

Sep22

September 21, 2015 — GH, OC & NYE in London

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What I Watched Today

(random, rambling thoughts on today’s TV)

 

General Hospital

Blah-blah-blah, romantic stuff with Sam and Patrick. The only thing that will make this worthwhile for me is if Robin shows up. Or if nuJason does, since the reason Sam tells Patrick “not yet” is because it’s around this time she married Jason.

What up with TJ that he thinks Morgan is just going to “rough up” Julian? How much more obvious can it be that Morgan is psychotic?  Nice save on Alexis’s part. She tells Morgan that if he pulls the trigger, he’ll kill Sonny. Bet that is screwing with Morgan’s thought process.

Instead of chatting up Mayor Lomax, Paul is chatting up Ava. It turns out he has the confession recording and he wants something “complicated” in return. Oh goodie. I can’t wait.

Maxie is wearing the cutest romper!

Oooh, it’s Paul who had Sonny shot. Nothing like throwing in a ringer. Is this the first we’re hearing about his organized crime ties? At least they said “organized crime” and not “the business.”  Apparently, he wants to run Julian’s territory with Ava. This is rather a weird proposition, since Ava hasn’t had anything to do with that, except for gossiping with Julian. Is her new job going to be shaking people down? I want to smack Paul when he says he likes her hair. Blue-eyed blondes are a dime a dozen on these shows. Although I do like the idea of a lady mob boss. I thought The Sopranos missed a golden opportunity with that.

Sonny says he’s fine now. Okay. Sonny tells Elizabeth how glad he is she got her son back, and too bad Jason isn’t around to see it. Ah-ha! (in Nelson voice) Rub it in good, Sonny.

Maxie just asked Tracy why a lawyer (meaning Paul) would want to get involved with a bunch of criminals. She does live in this world, right? I think maybe Tracy needs to find some friends closer to her own age. Not that I’m opposed to having friends of all ages, but does she really want to take love life advice from 20-year-olds?  I’m with Maxie, clothes are wearable art and an extension of self. She’s really pushing this Tracy/Paul thing.

Did Paul just ask if he could “top [Ava’s] wine?” She’s drinking a martini. The director must have fallen asleep during the Sam/Patrick scenes.

Man, is TJ a dumbass. Morgan could have shot Julian ten times in the amount of time it’s taking for Michael to convince TJ that Morgan is dangerous in his manic state.

Commercial break. Yes, I understand Blue Buffalo is a wonderful pet food, but you try to get my dogs to eat it. I spent a fortune on a bag of it and they looked at me like I had two heads and refused to take one bite. OMG – it’s a guy in his work cube on the toilet. Has it come to that?

No surprise we end with an offstage bang

The Real Housewives of the OC

Why does Tamra keep adding to what Brooks said about considering the source? First of all, he said it in conjunction with saying he’d never talked to her – which he hadn’t. And she keeps adding all these nasty nuances that just weren’t there.

How can Heather say that this is a group of people who love Vicki? Meghan has made it very clear that she does not love Vicki and nothing could be further from the truth.

Can you tell these girls are all getting on my nerves? Let me make it clear that I don’t care for Brooks and never have, but I like what’s going on even less. The bottom line is that this is none of their business. I can’t even believe they spend this much time discussing it. Heather has told Vicki that they should produce the medical documents to prove everyone wrong, but Vicki doesn’t want to because 1) it’s none of their business and 2) she shouldn’t have to do that with people who know her. I’m not even saying Brooks isn’t lying and he’s fooling Vicki, but to bombard her with crap she doesn’t need right now is wrong. And I know from what I speak. I’ve personally had a situation where someone didn’t believe me. I totally have the proof in print to show them that what I’ve said is true, but I’m not going to show it to them. This person has known me for almost 30 years and has no business doubting me. So believe what you want, but you’ll be believing it from somewhere else because we are no longer friends.

Everyone is sooo stressed over this. Hey, here’s my prescription for that – stop talking about it.

Vicki says that Tamra went apesh*t for no reason, since her track record for passing along info isn’t exactly great. Telephone, teleTamra – ha-ha-ha! That reminds me of how my grandfather used to say (about my grandmother), “Telegraph, telephone, tell Marie.” Vicki also says that Tamra had no business running to Meghan with what Jim had told Brooks. It’s like these women are a bunch of 14-year-olds who can’t wait to pass along any gossip. While I do know a couple of adults who are like this, I certainly don’t make them privy to any information I’m given about anyone. Vicki leaves the Aries party early and the women say she ran away from the issue. It seems to be all anyone can talk about and sometimes you do have to just walk away. Shannon and Vicki subsequently have a lunch, but once again, it’s the only topic. Seriously, at this point, even if Brooks is lying, I’m taking his side.

Twitter, Google, et al must go nuts after these shows air.

Terry isn’t crazy about Heather’s sketch of some window she wants to put in at the new house that involves a tree and some birds that symbolize the kids. I’m with him – if you don’t want my honest opinion, don’t ask for it. Heather claims it’s not his honest opinion about the window she cares about, but she wants acknowledgement of her hard work. Well, then ask for that instead of his opinion about the window. I hate when someone expects me to be a mind reader.

I don’t blame Eddie for not wanting to support Tamra’s adult son. Tamra says that Ryan (her son) is still figuring his life’s plan out and he always does it the hard way. How hard is getting 8000 bucks from your mom?

Cool! Lisa Rinna is having dinner with Heather. I love her so much! She and Eileen Davidson were the best thing to happen to the Beverly Hills Wives since Kyle called out Kim for being an alcoholic. She’s with me on the mind reading thing too.

OMG-OMG-OMG! Next week it shows Brooks producing some document, but then Meghan saying they don’t do that test at wherever it was he went. I have a couple of thoughts here. I worked in a women’s clinic for a couple of years, so I know they don’t always give everyone all the information. I don’t know how Meghan approached them, so this Devil’s Advocate theory is on hold. The other thought is that everyone keeps saying Brooks is such a smooth con man. Why would he go through all the trouble of cooking up a fake document and make a mistake like that?

Discuss.

** Author’s note: A few episodes ago, in writing about Brook’s treatment, I should have said it was “reservatrol” that was being used.

Ladies of London

Annabelle writes children’s books, using the alienation she felt as a child, growing up in privileged society. I want to say something sarcastic about her having it so tough, but everyone has their own set of problems, and everyone’s problems are just as important to them as mine are to me. The angel shoulder won out this time.

Marissa, who I’m growing not too fond of, runs restaurants with her husband, but she wants her own gig. She’s going to open a place that sells organic hot dogs, fries and shakes, what she calls American street food. Maybe in California, where she’s from, but that don’t sound like no Sabrett.

Julie and Juliet (thank God there’s no Julia…yet) are planning a get together to watch the fireworks on New Year’s Eve. This startles me and I think I’ve lost time, until I realize this is not in sync with the real calendar.

The Christmas numbers for Caroline’s store are not good. Her assistant, or manager, or whatever she is wants her to be all emotional, but that’s not the way Caroline #1 rolls. Julie is meeting her for lunch. Julie makes some kind of energy “balls” (similar to energy bars), and is marketing them to gyms and studios, but is ready for the big league. They verge on making jokes akin to the Schweddy Balls sketch on SNL, and discuss her business plan.

The New Year’s Eve party, in Juliet’s penthouse, looks fabulous. And Marissa looks like she has a stick up her butt. Things start off well, but after swilling a lot of champagne, Julie and Caroline #2 (the baroness) do a headstand trying to make some yoga point. Caroline #1 says something that Julie takes as “a massive dig” at her and she’s crying, but I don’t see it and blame it on the booze champagne. Or maybe this is something only yoga people understand. What really doesn’t make sense is that Caroline was all kinds of insulting at their lunch and Julie just laughed it off. Caroline apologizes, but Julie doesn’t want to let it go. More champagne, please!

This is so freaking cool! They go up to the roof to watch the Londoners partying in the street below. It reminds me of the New Year’s Eve scene in The Spice Girls‘ One Hour of Girl Power. They go back in and drink some more. Caroline #1 brings in a bunch of animal costume onesies for adults. I’m really not sure what to make of this. No more for Caroline. Juliet’s husband is lying on a couch pre-nursing a hangover, and Caroline #1 straddles him and makes rude movements.  She just got done saying that someone with a title shouldn’t be standing on their head. I’m losing respect quickly.

So is Juliet and it says “to be continued.”

Congrats to Game of Thrones on their Emmy sweep!