What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Sonny asks if Nina has talked to Obrecht, but she says, no, and the MetroCourt is super busy because a convention is in town. He says he knows she’s anxious to hear that Obrecht has done everything she needs to do to be a bone marrow donor for Willow.

Michael wheels Willow out of the hospital elevator, and Obrecht says, she didn’t have to be here for this meeting. Willow says, Obrecht didn’t either, but Obrecht says she sees it differently. She owes it to her dear, departed Britta. She couldn’t save her daughter’s life, but if she can save Willow’s… Willow says she’ll be forever grateful. Obrecht says, remember what she told her; like it or not, she’s one of them now.

Austin sees Mason in a private area of the MetroCourt, and Mason tells him, have a seat, but Austin says he’s meeting someone. Mason says, if Austin is referring to Ava, he’d better make time for both their sakes.

Sonny says, Nina needs a distraction, and Nina sees Ava at the bar sipping a martini. She says, there’s someone who needs distracting just as much as she does, and they walk over. Nina tells Ava, you know what they say about drinking alone, and Ava flashes back to telling Austin that she’s sure Nikolas was dead, and him asking, then where is he? Sonny says, she’s not waiting for Nikolas to show up again, is she?

A nurse tells Spencer that they just need a couple of signatures, and he can take the baby home, but Diane joins them and says, there’s been a change of plans. She’s sorry, but that baby’s not going anywhere. Victor asks if she knows who she’s speaking with, and she laughs and says, her client. Laura says, it will be okay, and give them a chance to reconsider their plan, but Spencer says, there’s nothing to reconsider, as he takes the baby from Victor. His baby brother belongs with him. Diane says, unfortunately, his mother disagrees.

Esme pushes the nurse call button, and Elizabeth comes in. Esme says she’s glad to see Elizabeth, and asks if Elizabeth can bring her baby. Elizabeth says she can, but they have to talk first, and Esme says she hopes Elizabeth is going to walk her through the mommy menu. She can’t think of anyone she’d rather have teach her how to be a good parent. Elizabeth says, Esme may not feel that way after Esme hears what she has to say, but Esme says she can’t imagine that. Elizabeth sits down and says, Esme needs to know how she ended up here.

Alexis thanks Gregory for his input and coming by on such short notice, and Gregory says, any time. Not only does he enjoy the work, she’s a friend. She says, then why is he lying to her? and he asks what he’s lying about. She says, he told her that he couldn’t take the job at The Invader because he was bound to his teaching gig at PCU, and he says, it’s a conflict of interest, but she asks, how it can be if he doesn’t have a job? He asks how she’d know, and she says she offered him the job and he said he wanted it, but PCU had a conflict of interest, which didn’t make any sense to her, so she called Dean Jeffries. She hoped she could convince him that Gregory could do both, since that’s what he said he wanted to do. He admits he said that, and she tells him that she’s asking again, why did he lie to her?

Obrecht says, no doubt they’re wondering if her willingness to participate comes with a price tag, and Michael says, now that she mentions it… but Willow tells him, let’s just be grateful Liesl is a match. Obrecht says, it’s an honest question that deserves an equally honest answer, when Terry comes out and suggests they go to her office to discuss the next steps. They follow her.

Ava says, so Obrecht is a bone marrow match. She’s thrilled for Nina and for Willow. Nina says, it’s not a sure thing yet, but it’s a step in the right direction, and Ava says, after she lost Kiki, she swore she’d never lose Avery. After Nina’s loss, she’s rooting for Nina to have a relationship with Willow. She and Nina hug.

The nurse leaves, and Victor says, if Nikolas were here, Esme wouldn’t make such an outrageous claim, and Laura says, no, she woudn’t, but unfortunately, her son’s not here. Spencer says, but he is. Esme’s going back to Spring Ridge while she awaits trial. When she’s convicted – which she most certainly will be – she’s going back to Pentenville. Diane can’t tell him that the court, even on its cruelest day, would think that’s a good environment for a baby. A woman walks up, and Diane says, this is Janet Kershaw from child services. Laura says, they’ve met before, and she’s relieved Janet is involved with this case. She’s sure they can reach a decision that’s best for this child. Janet says, that’s up for the court to decide. Esme Prince has filed a motion for custody of her baby once she’s transferred back to Spring Ridge.

Esme asks how she wound up here, and Elizabeth says, she’d been missing for a while. Everyone, including the police, thought she was The Hook killer. Elizabeth was on the pier waiting to go to Windymere, when Esme showed up. Of course (🍷) she called 9-1-1, but Esme went for her phone, and they struggled and Elizabeth fell down and hit her head. Esme asks if she pushed Elizabeth, but Elizabeth says, no. They struggled over the phone, and when she fell, she went unconscious. It wasn’t until she saw Esme again that she realized Esme was pregnant. Being a nurse, she felt it was her obligation to protect the baby. Esme asks what she means. Protect her baby how?

Austin says, whatever Mason has to tell him, say it fast. It’s not polite to keep a lady waiting. Mason says, that’s right. Austin is a gentleman. He can’t resist a damsel in distress. If Ava was alone on that island with no one to help her, Austin would cross the water and make it his business to help her. Austin says he doesn’t know what Mason is talking about, and Mason says, if he’s worried about the ex-Mrs. Cassadine, she’s probably on her second or third martini by now. He’s not judging her, with everything they’ve been through lately. He followed Austin to Spoon Island that night. He saw everything.

Elizabeth says, Nikolas needed someone to care for Esme until she gave birth, and Esme says, when he came to see her at Spring Ridge with those papers that gave him full custody, he never said anything about Elizabeth taking care of her. Elizabeth says, he was keeping it a secret. He kept Esme under lock and key, in a tower in his home. Esme says, Elizabeth is telling her that she was Nikolas’s prisoner, and she helped him? and Elizabeth says, yes.

Austin says he doesn’t know what Mason thinks he saw, but Ava hasn’t done anything wrong; neither has he. Mason tells Austin that he said that with conviction… and he does mean conviction. He’s sure if Austin tells any judge that story, they’ll believe him, and his lady friend. Austin says he still has no idea what Mason is talking about, and Mason says, some stable at Windymere, huh? And that tack room – he whistles – downright luxurious. But he doesn’t have to tell Austin that, does he?

Alexis asks why Gregory felt he couldn’t confide in her. Is he under some sort of gag order? He says, no, and she asks if litigation is involved. If there is, she’ll back off. He says, Alexis Davis backs off; now there’s a headline. She says she wants him to work here, and he wanted to work here. That can never happen if there’s mistrust. And just so he knows, the dean didn’t offer any additional information, so she doesn’t know what to think. Was he suspended? Was he fired? Talk to her. Maybe she can help him. He says, unfortunately, she can’t. No one can.

Spencer says he thought it was bad enough he had to serve time in prison, but he actually committed the crime. Is Janet telling him that now his innocent baby brother has to be there too? Janet says, in certain cases and certain facilities, the State of New York allows a mother to keep her child with her for the first 18 months she’s incarcerated. Spencer says, the baby is Uncle Victor’s family too, and deserves to be home with them, and Victor says, spoken like a true Cassadine. If it’s a matter of proving Spencer has the means to care for a child, they have his personal guarantee. Diane says, here his personal guarantee might do more harm than good, and Laura says, Nikolas’s baby is also her family. Whether they like it or not, they can’t just take Esme out of the equation. She is after all the baby’s mother.

Elizabeth says, at the time, she had reason to believe Esme was a threat, and didn’t know what Nikolas was going to do to her after she had the baby. Esme says she only has Elizabeth’s word for that, and Elizabeth says she knows what it’s like to have gaps in your memory. Esme says, Elizabeth just told her that she was locked in a tower like some princess in a fairytale. What else doesn’t she know? How did she escape? Did she let her hair down and climb down like Rapunzel? Elizabeth says, no, she jumped from the turret into the harbor, and Esme says she could have died, and her baby… Elizabeth says, but she didn’t, and she lost her memory, but she saved her baby. Esme says, no thanks to his father… or Elizabeth, and Elizabeth says she doesn’t blame Esme for feeling the way she does, but if Esme thinks Elizabeth owes her an apology, she couldn’t be more wrong.

Ava, Nina, and Sonny sit at a table in the MetroCourt restaurant, and Ava orders another martini, champagne, and sparkling water. Sonny thinks Ava has as much to celebrate as Nina and Willow. The way he sees it, she hit the trifecta. She helped capture The Hook killer, Ryan Chamberlain is dead, and Nikolas Cassadine is nowhere to be found on this earth. He’d say that’s a lot to celebrate. Nina says she sees his point, and good riddance to Ryan Chamberlain, but she knows how much Ava loved Nikolas. She tells Ava not to give up hope. He’ll realize what he’s missing, come back, and try to make things right, but Ava says she doubts that.

Obrecht says, as a reminder, she’s a doctor too. What kind of hoops does she have to jump through to make this happen? Terry says, being a potential match is a crucial first step, but before they go ahead with the transplant, they need to know it’s safe for Obrecht to donate. They have to run additional tests and weigh those results… Obrecht says, against her age and medical history, and see if something comes up to disqualify her as a donor.

Alexis asks why Gregory thinks he can’t talk to anyone about this; is it that severe? He says, as one friend to another, he’s asking her to let this go and forget about it. She says she’s sorry, but she can’t do that. In friendship, there’s trust, and he says, and if he were to ask her to trust him to know what’s good for him… She asks if it’s good for him to keep something that appears to be this critical from someone who cares about him. If that’s the case, she’ll have to reevaluate their friendship. He asks if she means end it.

Nina says, it’s hard for her to sit there and do nothing when Obrecht might be able to save Willow’s life. Sonny says there’s nothing he can do to stop her, and Michael and Willow don’t want to see him. So go ahead and go. She thanks him for understanding, and gets up to leave, but hostess Ashley intercepts her, and says, there’s a problem with the AC.

Terry asks if Obrecht is on any medications, and Obrecht says she’s taking an anticoagulant. Terry says she’ll have to consult with Obrecht’s physician, and leaves. Obrecht says she’ll give Michael and Willow some privacy, but Michael asks her to stay. She never answered the question. Obrecht says, what’s in it for her? When you lose a child, or in her case two children, it forever shapes your world perspective. Willow says she still grieves for her son Jonah every day. She can’t imagine the pain Obrecht suffered losing two grown children. Obrecht says, that’s why she was so pleased to find out she had a new family member in Willow. Willow was in need of help, and it never occurred to her not to be a donor, so Willow could have the kind of life her Britta can no longer enjoy.

Austin asks what Mason wants, and Mason says, what he’s always wanted; for Austin to remember his responsibilities. Austin says he knows where he comes from, and knows how far he’s come. Nothing and nobody will make him go back. Mason says, Austin is smart. He’ll figure it out on his own, and in the end, he’ll do the right thing.

Esme says, Elizabeth helped Nikolas keep her prisoner, and she was so desperate she jumped off a turret into a harbor, but Elizabeth doesn’t think she deserves an apology? Elizabeth admits she went about it all wrong, but she thought she was protecting the people she loves, as well as keeping Esme and the baby safe. Esme says she thought Elizabeth was on her side, but doesn’t know what to believe now. What if the police find out? Elizabeth says, they know, and Esme asks how she’s walking around free. Elizabeth says, because she voluntarily came forward and made a statement, and Esme asks if that’s why Nikolas disappeared; he knew he’d be a wanted man? Elizabeth assumes so, and says, all of this will become public knowledge soon enough. She just wanted Esme to hear it from her. She owes Esme that much. She starts to leave, but Esme says, there’s one more thing she needs to know. Did she want her baby? Was she trying to get rid of it and that’s why Nikolas locked her away?

Spencer tells Janet, now that Esme’s serial killer father is dead, her remaining family is Heather Webber, who murdered a very dear friend of his, as well as attacked his lawyer. So does she really think it’s in the best interest of the child? Diane suggests he reign back his rhetoric a little; he’s not winning her any points with child services. Laura asks, what happens now? and Janet says, the baby will remain here in the nursery until his mother is transferred to Spring Ridge. The nurse s to take the baby, but Spencer says he’s not giving him up. Laura says, he doesn’t want to upset the baby, does he? and Victor says, for once, he agrees with Laura. Don’t worry. This isn’t over yet. Diane says, this all has to be argued in family court in front of a judge, but until that time, Spencer complies with all the court orders. Spencer says, okay, but he wants to go one record that this goes against everything he wants for his baby brother. Like anyone cares. He gives the baby to the nurse.

Ava asks why she should be fearful about Nikolas returning to Port Charles, and Sonny says, his guess is, Ava still has a thing for him. Their marriage ended badly, but if Nikolas came back, she’d be tempted to get back together with him. Is he close? She says, no. It was hard to learn, but she learned her lesson. He says he’s happy for her, but wonders why Nikolas wouldn’t make contact, especially after everything that’s happened with Ryan Chamberlain. She says, her relationship with Nikolas was always tempestuous. Their marriage didn’t stand a chance after Ryan decided to use Esme to destroy it. Sonny asks if that’s what Ryan told her, and she says, he bragged about it, right up until she shot him. Thankfully, Mac ended his life altogether. Sonny still thinks it’s strange she hasn’t heard from Nikolas. He doesn’t like Nikolas, but between the birth of his new kid and finding out Ryan ended his marriage, he’d think Nikolas would come running back to her. But he hasn’t. So he’s going to ask her, what’s stopping him?

Michael says he’s incredibly grateful for Obrecht’s kindness, but it seems like there’s another reason she’s doing this. Willow asks if Michael is right, and Obrecht says, her fiancé is correct. She appreciates him being so direct, and will return it in kind. It’s no secret how they feel about Nina, but her niece was devastated when she found out she wasn’t a match to be a donor. So she appeals to Willow as a mother. She knows Willow isn’t ready to think of Nina as her mom, and maybe never will be. All she’s asking for is for Willow to imagine a time when maybe Nina isn’t her enemy. If she can open her heart to that possibility, that will be all the thanks she needs.

Austin says, well, this was fun. Mason got his points in, and he’s out of here. Mason tells him to go have a chitchat with his partner in crime Ava. He searched her online; she’s been around the block. She knows when it’s time to fight, and when it’s time to negotiate.

Nina tells Ashley that there shouldn’t be any more problems, but if there’s anything else, let her know; she’ll be at GH. Austin comes in, and Nina says, Ava is right over there if he’s looking for her. He says he was, and she says, he and Ava seem inseparable these days, and it makes her wonder why they’re together.

Diane says she’ll go with Janet to fill out the paperwork, and Janet says, of course (🍷). They leave, and Laura tells Spencer that they’ll do everything in their power to make sure his brother gets the best possible care. Victor says he’s going to do everything within the law, and even outside of it if necessary, to make sure Spencer gets custody of their newest Cassadine. Don’t worry. He leaves, and Laura says she’s so sorry. Spencer says he’s sorry too. His little brother shouldn’t be in a hospital nursery, and shouldn’t be shipped off to prison before he’s a month old. Like Uncle Victor said, this isn’t over.

Elizabeth says she can’t tell Esme what was in her heart. There was a time she thought Esme was incapable of loving anyone but herself. Esme says, if what Elizabeth told her is true, and she jumped off the turret at Windymere, she must have been pretty desperate, and not thinking about the baby by doing something so dangerous. Elizabeth says, they may never know, but when she surfaced, she seemed to have left the old Esme behind her. In a way, she’s been given a blank slate – Spencer walks in – a fresh start. It’s up to Esme what she does with it. Spencer tells her that he couldn’t have said that better himself, and Esme asks what he wants; to keep playing her so he can take her baby away from her? He says she has a lot on her plate now that she’ll be returning to Spring Ridge, but she says, the difference is, now she knows what he didn’t tell her. Spencer asks Elizabeth what she’s talking about, and Elizabeth says she’s going to let them work it out. She hopes they can both put aside their own needs for the sake of the baby. She leaves, and Spencer sits down. He says he doesn’t know what Elizabeth told her, but he thinks she’d be making a huge mistake if she takes the baby to prison with her. She says he needs to correct his word choice. It’s not the baby; it’s her baby. Hers, not his, and definitely not his father’s now that she knows he locked her up as his prisoner and threw away the key.

Alexis apologizes, and says, Gregory is right; it is his business. But doesn’t he think he’d feel better if he could talk to someone who cares about him? That’s what friends are for. He says he appreciates what she’s trying to do, but he’s asking her to respect his privacy. She says, if he can’t talk to her, she hopes there’s someone he can talk to, and he says, if she’s thinking about telling Chase or Finn about this… She says, they don’t know? and he says, nobody knows, and it’s going to stay that way.

Austin says, nothing like a near-death experience at the hands of two psychopaths to jumpstart a friendship. Does Nina not approve? Nina says, no, on the contrary. She thinks it’s great. Ava has been very lonely since her marriage with Nikolas blew up. She could use another good, trusted friend. Austin thanks her for the vote of confidence, and says he’ll do the best he can. She says she has to go to GH, but a word to the wise. Ava acts like she’s really tough, but she’s vulnerable inside. He says, good to know, and Nina leaves. Austin watches Ava talking to Sonny, then turns to see Austin behind him.

Willow says she’s incredibly grateful for Obrecht volunteering, and if it turns out she can be the donor, she’ll be forever in Obrecht’s debt, but it’s impossible for her to put aside everything Nina has done to her, Michael, and Wiley. She knows how much Obrecht loves Nina and would never tell her not to… Obrecht says, just as she can’t expect Willow to love her; she understands that. But ift Willow does get a second chance at life, she asks Willow to ask herself if she wants to spend it denying someone who’s been waiting their whole life to love her. Willow says she doesn’t think Nina loves her personally; she loves having a daughter. In fact, before Nina found out she was Willow’s mother, she couldn’t stand her. So this about-face seems more like it’s about Nina than about her. Obrecht says, that could describe her. Britta’s childhood was about her; her desperate need to impress Britt’s father, and to mold Britt into the daughter she desired. It wasn’t until the last few years of Britta’s life when she realized how wrong she’d been. She apologized to her daughter, and Britt mercifully forgave her. In those last years, she and Britt not only became mother and daughter, but friends. She can only wish the same for Willow and Nina, despite Nina’s shortcomings. Wow. Who knew Obrecht was one day going to turn into the voice of reason? Terry comes in, and says, the last round of tests are ready. She asks Obrecht to come with her, and promises she’ll give Michael and Willow an update as soon as she can. Obrecht leaves with her, and Michael tells Willow, let’s go home.

Ava tells Sonny that she knows she’s said it before, but she’s through with Nikolas; she means it this time. She hopes she’s seen the last of him. Austin sits at another table, and watches. Sonny says, he doesn’t like Nikolas, but it’s amazing she’s come to the same conclusion. It seemed to him that she was more afraid of Nikolas returning than staring down Ryan Chamberlain. Did Nikolas threaten her? Ava says, Nikolas didn’t threaten her. He threatened Avery.

Alexis says she thought Gregory was closer than ever to his sons, and he says he is, but his boys have enough going on in their lives without worrying about him. She says, that’s what families do. That’s what friends do. If Chase and Finn… He says, if she’s the friend she says she is, she’ll do as he asks. He heads for the door, and she says she is his friend. She’s very sorry for whatever’s going on with him, and sorry she’s upset him, but she’s not sorry for being concerned. He gives her a nod, and leaves.

Diane wonders where everyone went, and Laura says, to their separate corners. Diane says she did some checking, and there’s nothing to prevent Esme from taking the baby to Spring Ridge, for the short term. Laura says she understands Esme’s desire to keep her baby close to her, but given her history, this is very complicated. What are Spencer’s chances of gaining custody of his little brother? Diane says she’s spoken to Spencer about this. Michael Corinthos was able to gain custody of his little sister Avery, and Spencer and Michael are very similar in terms of resources, so there is precedent. However, it would be so much better if Spencer could get Esme to cooperate.

Spencer asks if Elizabeth told Esme that she was his father’s prisoner, and she says, as if he didn’t know. He swears it’s all new information to him. It would explain why she was missing for so long, but he wonders, if it’s true, how would Elizabeth know? She says, never mind. He’ll find out soon enough. And so will the judge, and there will be no way they’ll take her baby away from her. He says, if she truly cares about her son the way he thinks she does, she doesn’t want her baby raised in a prison. She wants him to be with a family that loves him very dearly. She says, her son’s name is Ace, and she doesn’t need lessons in love from him. He talks a good game just like Nikolas did, but he’s no better than his father. (Ouch!) It’s because she loves her son that she won’t let Spencer anywhere near him.

Elizabeth walks toward the hospital exit, and Victor says, she can run, but she can’t hide. She says she doesn’t have time for this. She has to go home to her boys. He says he does admire her maternal instinct. Is that what prompted her to throw in with his nephew to keep Esme prisoner? He has plenty of evidence proving she helped Nikolas keep Esme captive, and he’ll send it to the authorities unless she tells him where he might find Nikolas. She asks, what makes him think she knows? and he says, that’s the way she wants to play it? Don’t say he didn’t warn her. He starts to walk away, and she says, no, she’s warning him. In a short time, his so-called evidence will be worthless, and he’ll have no power over her. But good luck with finding Nikolas. She walks out, the doors making a satisfying swishing sound. Not. Victor’s. Day.

Sonny asks what Ava means about Nikolas threatening their daughter, and she says she means he said he’d try to take Avery away from her, which is ridiculous, right? He has zero chance in court. It’s an empty threat meant to wound her, and it did, but don’t give it a second thought. Nikolas is gone. He’s left Port Charles, and probably left the country. Sonny says, it’s one thing to threaten him or Ava, but if Nikolas threatens their daughter in any way, he’ll find Nikolas; he doesn’t care where he’s hiding. Ava tells him to please let it go, but Sonny says, if Nikolas has anything over her, he can help.

Michael wheels Willow to the elevator, and he asks if she’s okay. She says she’s just thinking about what Aunt Liesl said. If she’s lucky enough to get a second chance at life, she needs to start thinking about how she wants to spend it… and if Nina has any part in it. Nina comes out of the elevator, and she and Willow look at each other.

Tomorrow, TJ asks Molly if they’re having a baby; Willow wants to talk to Nina about something; Sonny needs Olivia’s help; and Dex tells Michael that Sonny might be on to him.

Below Deck

Rodney Bay, St. Lucia. Captain Lee says, it feels goddam good to be back. He feels better than a dog having its belly rubbed. In Ben tells Ross that it’s been an emotional roller coaster with the captain gone and then coming back, while Camille is pulling at his heartstrings. Ross thinks they should get a discount on end of the season counseling. Rachel hugs Captain Lee, and in her interview, she says she likes Captain Sandy and has mad respect for her, but she loves Captain Lee. He means a lot to her as a person. She says she’s glad he’s back, and he says he’s glad to be back. The captain radios Fraser to come to his quarters. They hug, and Captain Lee asks, how are things? Fraser says, good, and tells the captain that a new crew member arrived about an hour ago; she was a chief stew on her last boat. Rachel explains to Leigh-Ann that the guests want tropical cocktails. Leigh-Ann tells Hayley that she knows Ben, and in Hayley’s interview, she says, the plot thickens. It’s going to be horrific. She laughs and says, poor Ben. Fraser says, the steel drummer is coming at two, and they have a cocktail pairing tonight. In his interview, he says he’s never done a pairing before, but they have to cater to all the guests’ needs. Rachel says, they’re having a Caribbean lunch, and Hayley tells Leigh-Ann about Camille. In Leigh-Ann’s interview, she says she’s disappointed. She’s never been in a situation where there was another girl before. But they’re in yachting; how serious can it be? Fraser asks how long Leigh-Ann was on her last boat, and she says, four years; she was chief stew at the end. In Fraser’s interview, he says he’s concerned about how much experience his new crew member has. She’s was a chief stew longer than he’s been, but it’s his boat now. If she jumps in and does what she’s told, they’ll have no issues. The captain radios for everyone to come to the Sky Lounge.

Captain Lee says, it’s a little different, but it’s great to be back. He thanks them for cooperating with Captain Sandy. She did him a solid by filling in. In his interview, the captain says, he was madder than a pissed on chicken, and he’d be goddamned if didn’t finish what started. Everyone welcomes him back, and he says, let’s get after it. Last minute touches are done to the boat, and the guests arrive. In Katie’s interview, she says she’s met a lot of frat boys in Miami. They’re loud and obnoxious. It’s like she’s back in south Florida. The captain says, Fraser will give them the tour, and they’ll get underway. In Captain Lee’s interview, he says, being behind the wheel again is great; it’s where he belongs. It’s like riding a bike, but a big bike. One of the guests says his Wi-Fi password is s*ckmyd*ck. I understand this, since I have some questionable passwords involving eBay. Fraser tells Leigh-Ann that she’s going to be on bar, and in Rachel’s interview, she says, the guests have requested a seafood extravaganza paired with beverages. They’re going to be hammered. Guests don’t pair well with pairing menus. The guests say, blah-blah- blah mortgage business, and in Leigh-Ann’s interview, she says, she’s stressing her t*ts off. She’s just jumped on, and doesn’t know Rachel’s cooking enough to do a cocktail match. She and Fraser come up with drinks together, and in her interview, she says, fake it til you make it. That’s what she’ll be doing until she knows where everything is. She’s taking it by the balls and winging it.

The drummer arrives, and plays as the guests sit down to lunch. I’m not sure why anyone would want to have a steel drummer playing as they sit down to eat; it sounds like it would be annoying. Primary Jake says, they’re off to a good start. Everyone had better be the happiest they’ve ever been. Fraser says, it’s going to be a heavily fueled meal, and Rachel introduces first course – some kind of heirloom tomato soup that sounds wonderful, until I hear it’s being paired with a gin/elderflower tonic and my stomach turns. In Hayley’s interview, she says, cocktail after cocktail; things are going to be broken later. She hopes not her or her soul. The captain sees nothing but wind, and sighs. In Ben’s interview, he says he has a connection with Camille, and they’re going to see each other in the Dominican Republic after the season ends. He’s also developed a connection with Leigh-Ann online, and needs to tell them about each other. He fake cries. Ross tells the captain that he’s going to follow the guests when they use the jet skis, and Captain Lee says, if it gets too crazy, let him know. He thinks the guests will be fun, but it’s going to be a long night. Leigh-Ann tells Ben that she’s on nights, and he says, so is he. She tells him that he’ll have to fill her in on the juicy parts. He admits he hooked up with one of the stews, and he’s sad she left, and in Tony’s interview, he says, the ghost of Camille, plus the sexual tension between Ben and Leigh-Ann has been going on a long time. It’s going to be just boom. He hopes not in the cabin.

Captain Lee joins the guests for dinner, and in Rachel’s interview, she says, it’s time to celebrate. She can’t wait to knock Captain Lee’s socks off. The pièce de resistance is salt encrusted branzino. At the table, the captain explains how you’re not allowed to bring a banana on a fishing boat. It’s bad luck, and you won’t catch any fish. Too bad he doesn’t explain what the logic, or lack thereof, is. Rachel brings out the entire fish, takes it out of the salt, and the guests are served at the table. One of the guests says she’s Jake’s sister-in-law, and within one year, Jake and her sister dated, moved in together, got engaged, and were expecting a baby. In Fraser’s interview, he says, it’s strange that the primary is sharing a cabin with his sister-in-law. He has no idea who these people are, and what their situations are after dark, but something doesn’t add up. The captain says, his wife claims they met through friends, but he doesn’t remember the first time they met. That’s what it’s going to say on his tombstone: you should have remembered me the first time. In Katie’s interview, she says, Ben doesn’t know what to do, and laughs. Her connection to Ross is getting stronger, and more serious. In Ross’s interview, he says, he’s happier when he’s having sex, but it hasn’t been regular enough recently. By that, I’m guessing he means ten times a day. The guests get in the hot tub, and Leigh-Ann and Ben talk about the first messages they sent. Drinks and sandwiches are served, and in her interview, Leigh-Ann says she’s never seen anyone drink so much. She loves margaritas, but this is next level. In Ben’s interview, he says, it’s time to get them to bed; they’re a pain in the bum. Guest Angel slips and falls, but he’s good. Ben texts Leigh-Ann that he’s so glad he met her, and she says, her too. Guess he’s not that head over heels for Camille.

In Fraser’s interview, he says he didn’t finish university, and felt like a failure. He still gets incredibly insecure, even though he knows what he’s doing is working. He’s still the baddest bitch on board. Ross tells the captain that the guests are keen to do a beach set-up, and in the captain’s interview, he says he wanted to be back. Now he’s back to the same goddam wind. They don’t call it the Windward Islands for nothing. Ross says he thinks wherever they put the gazebos, they’re going to disappear, and Fraser suggests having games at the beach with drinks and snacks, then lunch back on the boat. In his interview, Fraser says, he’s learned the hard way that his responsibility is to lead and delegate. Angel says he woke up covered in bruises, and the others tell him that he fell, but he doesn’t remember. Katie, Ross, and Ben leave to set up on the beach, and breakfast is served. Angel asks if Hayley is a ninja; she’s way too quiet. In Leigh-Ann’s interview, she says she thinks Fraser is challenging her. She’s had to learn everything the hard way. Her parents divorced when she was 8, and she eventually dropped out of school to lead the beach bum life, but she couldn’t do the surfer bum lifestyle. In Fraser’s interview, he says, Jake’s wife is in Chicago with the babies. Interesting. Ben radios the boat, and says they need gazebos because of the heat. In Ross’s interview, he says, since Leigh-Ann has joined the crew, he’s noticing a slight power struggle and the slightest tension. Fraser tells Ross that someone (i.e. Leigh-Ann) has been getting their chief stew boots on. People shouldn’t be getting creative; that’s his job.

Angel doesn’t even look at Fraser as he barks an order, and in the pantry, Fraser says, Angel is a bleepity-bleep. Hayley says, he just noticed? Gazebos are brought to the beach, and in Katie’s interview, she says she thinks it’s weird how Leigh-Ann and Ben have been flirting. Ben isn’t being truthful. He’s obsessed with Camille – we flash back – and needs to come clean. He’s creating feelings, and Leigh-Ann is going to be crushed. He can’t have his cake and eat it too. Fraser tells Hayley that Angel, aka Satan, is a horrible man who didn’t even look him in the face when he placed a drink order. Rachel tells Fraser that the food is packed and ready to go, and the guests head for the beach. Hayley tells Tyler that boyfriend Joss is going back to work by the time she gets home; he’s a drill operator offshore. In Tyler’s interview, he says, his dad is an emotionless man with traditional values. Every time he sees Tyler, he asks if he has a girlfriend. Ben tells the guests that they have cornhole, and there’s going to be a sack race and a three-legged race. Angel says he hates sand. Captain Lee tells Rachel that he likes the new crew. There’s not one scintilla of animosity, and he’s loving it. It feels great coming back. In his interview, he says he’s impressed with the cohesiveness of the crew. Captain Sandy did something right. He tells Rachel that it’s not like it normally is at this point in the season. Usually, everyone’s d*cks are in the dirt dragging down. Katie asks Leigh-Ann if it’s awkward with Ben, but Leigh-Ann says she doesn’t know how Ben is feeling. In Leigh-Ann’s interview, she asks why Ben is so f***ing hot.

Fraser says he has a horrible feeling the guests are hating the beach because he’s not there to make it amazing. The beach is sh*t, and the weather is sh*t. Tony says, they’ll get so wasted, they won’t know where they are, and yep, it looks that way. Fraser sets the lunch table, and makes jazz hands since he’s wearing white gloves. Camille texts Ben, and he says he misses her, but he’s working. The guests come back, and Leigh-Ann tells Ben that he’s a cool guy; she’s stoked. He fixes her collar, and in his interview, he says, they were talking every other day, and have unfinished business. In Leigh-Ann’s interview, she says, they’ve been chatting for over a year, and the chemistry was there. Now being with him, the chemistry is there. She’s the type of girl who goes for what she wants. Ben tells her that she’s a good flirt, and in Ben’s interview, he says he’s between a rock and a hard place. There’s going to be trouble. She’s going to be trouble. In her interview, Leigh-Ann says, she’s all in or nothing. He’d better be ready.

Next time, Angel passes out on the trampoline; Ben tells Leigh-Ann about Camille, but she decides to go for it anyway; the new primaries are bodybuilders, and Fraser says, they look intimidating.

🏖  When the awful people on Summer House aren’t being awful, they’re being boring. Danielle told Kyle that he needed to have another hard conversation with Carl, and they hugged it out. We saw everyone’s day jobs, and zzzzz… Carl met with Kyle at the newly acquired Loverboy office, and Kyle said first and foremost was their friendship. He felt bad, but it had been a slow build. Carl said he understand Kyle had to vent. but it was hard to hear from Danielle. He’d been the face of the brand and did public appearances. He felt he was wearing different hats, but not getting compensated for them. Kyle said, Carl claimed to be working 90 hour weeks, but he had a hard time figuring out if Carl was working 40 hours. Carl admitted to getting distracted, and Kyle suggested they reevaluate how Carl was spending his time. They should also rethink his title, and make sure he felt appreciated and liked what he was doing. He never wanted to let tension come between them again. In Kyle’s interview, he said their friendship came first, and he was going to do his best to support Carl as a friend and CEO. Yeah, until the next time he’s drunk.

It was a fast week, and we were back in the Hamptons in no time. Andrea was going to join them, and promised to cook dinner. The girls reminisced about the last time Andrea cooked dinner and a wine glass was thrown. We flashed back to that, and Ciara said it was not going to happen this year. The drinking commenced, and in Lindsay’s interview, she said she couldn’t be sure that Kyle was making Carl’s happiness a priority. There was no friendship in business. I kind of feel the same way. When I worked 9 to 5, I was always careful who I hung out with from work. At some jobs, it was no one. Paige wasn’t coming, since it was her brother’s birthday, and the housemates agreed their goal was to make it to the tiramisu. The girls sat outside and drank, while the guys cooked inside and drank. Danielle told Lindsay about bonding with Gabby over their mutual ex, and Lindsay told them that Carl and Kyle had talked. Carl appreciated it, and it cleared the air, but there still seemed to be no clear solution. Gabby asked if it affected Lindsay and Amanda’s relationship, and Lindsay told them that Amanda said Carl worked for her. She’d been supporting Loverboy more than Amanda, and had stayed sober – although not right now – to support Carl. Yet Amanda said she was manipulating her boyfriend. Inside, Andrea told the guys, when you taste food, you should taste passion.

The housemates gathered to eat, and Andrea said, everyone was beautiful, and he toasted to life and love in Italian. He said, last year, they’d talked about love and cried. This year, he wanted to know how they keep it sexy in the bedroom. Lindsay said, Carl loved zebras and she had these zebra boy shorts… but no one wanted to hear it. Then there was a bunch of TMI that I didn’t want to hear. After dinner was finished, Andrea jumped up, and said they were going to South Hamptons Social for dancing. Apparently, Sam is a talker, and Mya said she wasn’t telling Sam to be quiet and wasn’t coming for her, but enough already. Sam said, it’s a me thing. She couldn’t shut up, and no one wanted more of her. She cried, and Mya said there was more to her than that. Zzzzz…

They go out, but apparently it was so boring, we barely saw the club, and they were back at the house. They did the same boring dancing and drinking there, except for Lindsay and Carl, who turned in early. In Lindsay’s interview, she said, this summer was different from the last one where she was drunk every weekend. Now she had what she needed at the end of the night; it was right here in the room. Drunk Kyle made a solo trip to the kitchen looking for the goddam cookies. Then he toddled into Danielle’s room. As much as they could, they talked about their argument, and Kyle said he’d been puzzled at Carl’s behavior. Carl was caught up in his relationship, but Kyle swore he loved that. In Danielle’s interview, she said she knew being a couple made things different, but she wasn’t sure how different. She and Lindsay had been inseparable. We flashed back to that, and she said, when Carl came along, they were the tres amigos. Now it was just Lindsay and Carl. it was hard to figure out where she fit in.

Sam called her mom Kristine, and said she was in a house full of big personalities, and felt like she loved the sound of her own voice. One of the girls said she needed to pull it back, and she was too much for everyone. In Sam’s interview, she said, when she was in college, she dated an older man who drummed it into her that she was too much, and she was insecure about that. Kristine said, Sam was used to filling the space. She had to think balance, but be who she was. Kyle told some of the guys that he thought they could have had more fun last night, and he’d come to the conclusion that Carl… had a voice in his ear. I swear, I’m going to scream if I hear him say that one more time.

Ciara talked to Kyle about Amanda, and said she’d given an amazing tea party. She’d talked about her fertility journey, and that she hadn’t had a period for nine months, but was apprehensive about going to the doctor. Ciara was concerned. Women’s health wasn’t her specialty, but as a nurse, she didn’t want someone to take a chance when they wanted to be a mom. Kyle said it would be soul crushing if they found out they couldn’t have kids. Although a possible relief to the rest of the world.

The housemates had a slumber party, and Amanda pulled down Kyle’s pants showing his bare ass. This I can never unsee and I’m scarred for life. The guys were gifted with matching PJs, and Kyle talked to Amanda, who said she was scared. She didn’t want to know. Kyle said she needed to communicate, and she said she didn’t want to talk about her reproductive system anymore. I didn’t want to hear about it either. Danielle said they were going to play a game called Stir the Pot. You picked a card, and the question on it had to be answered. No surprise, it was mostly sex questions. Lindsay’s card read, who would you be most afraid to break up with, and everyone said, her. We flashed back to Lindsay screeching at various boyfriends, including Carl. Danielle’s card asked who she trusted the least, and she said, in a curveball, you can’t see what’s coming sense, she’d go with Amanda. Amanda started crying and walked out, saying, that felt personal.

Danielle said that it felt like Amanda was only her friend sometimes, and Ciara asked if something specific had happened. Lindsay said Amanda claimed she’d been manipulating Carl, and Danielle said there had been undertones of tension, but she didn’t understand why. Ciara said not every battle had to be Danielle’s. Lindsay whined that Amanda said she’d tainted Carl, who worked for her. Everything she did was wrong. Kyle said he was over this sh*t, and looked for Amanda. Amanda wandered past mumbling, and said she was going to bed. She told Kyle that she was done, and he said he was tired of this bullsh*t. Like a sabretooth tiger, he was going to go lose his mind. Whatever that meant. Danielle said she didn’t mean to stir the pot, and Lindsay pointed out that was literally the name of the game. Kyle came back, and said, Amanda had apologized to Danielle, who never responded. She was a master manipulator, and his wife deserved better. Danielle didn’t think they should do this here and now, and in Kyle’s interview, he said they didn’t know the real side of that evil conniving bitch. Kyle told them that his wife was the nicest person, but they were bitches who got in the way, and it made him sick. He stomped out, which he’s made into a lifestyle brand, and Danielle told Carl to say something. Kyle was being an a-hole. Like this was something new. Kyle stood in front of the house, and yelled, f*** everybody for giving Lindsay Hubbard so much power!

To be continued…

… aren’t you glad?

💃🏽 In Appreciation Of All Women…

Come on down tomorrow for some soap and the latest in New Jersey. Until then, stay safe, stay lifting each other up, and stay making sure honest questions get honest answers.