What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

At Kelly’s, Josslyn tells Michael that Oscar is going nuts at home. He thinks it’s great how much Josslyn cares about Oscar, and she thinks Michael should follow her example. He should stop being stubborn, and get back together with Nelle.

Nelle calls someone, and asks if they want to grab a bite to eat. She knows it’s late, but she worked up an appetite today.

Carly finds a picture of Morgan in a smashed frame. She hears footsteps, and calls his name. She grabs the bat and gets ready.

Elizabeth talks to a cop, telling him to call for backup and search for Franco. Jordan shows up at the hospital, and at first thinks Franco took someone. Elizabeth says it’s the opposite. Jim took Franco.

Jim pulls the car in somewhere, and takes out the gun.

Carly stands behind the door. A real person is coming up the stairs. The door opens, and she raises the bat.

Michael asks what it will take for Josslyn to abandon her quest? She tells him to make an honest effort to fix things with Nelle. He says funny that she used the word honest. She says they’re having a baby; he should try to make things better. He tells Josslyn they’ve come to an understanding, and are working together for the baby. She says, not for each other, and he insists they’re over. She doesn’t get why he can’t try, since they seem made for each other. He disagrees, and since it’s his life, his vote counts more than hers. They’re never getting back together.

Elizabeth explains what happened, and tells Jordan that Jim had a gun, and he’s wearing scrubs. Jordan says he knows they’re searching for him, so he must have been desperate, sneaking around the hospital. Drew says he was trying to get to Betsy. He was with her and thought she had an episode, but she must have really seen him. Jordan asks how she is, and Drew says heavily sedated. Elizabeth says Jim tried to take off with her and Jake, and Franco showed up. He got in between them, and she and Jake ran. By the time she got back with Drew, they were gone. She tells Jordan that she can’t ignore this just because it’s Franco. Jordan says she’s not. They’re canvassing the area. Elizabeth says Jim tried to kill Franco once before, and won’t hesitate again.

We see the parent of an honor roll student bumper sticker on Elizabeth’s car. Franco is in the trunk. No, he’s not – it’s Jim! Franco says, let’s go; we’re here, and holds the gun on Jim. Jim gets out, and Franco tells him to get up if he wants to live. Boy, am I smiling.

Josslyn sees Nelle, and tells her to sit, leaving to order something. Nelle tells Michael that Josslyn is the most romantic person she’s ever met. He says wait until her first heartbreak, and she says to hell with love. Nelle thinks she’s too optimistic for that. She asks if Michael is still at the MetroCourt. She picked up some gifts, and got him a baby monitor. It covers any place within city range, so he can speak into it on the nights when he won’t be there in person. He says it’s thoughtful of her, and asks if she wants to join them, but Nelle says she’s meeting someone. Brad walks in, and she says, here he is now. Michael looks puzzled.

Carly nearly whacks Sonny in the head. She says she thought he was an intruder, and he tells her that he didn’t want her to be alone with the inspector, since she’s been jumpy. He was calling to her; didn’t she hear him? She says she was caught up in this, and shows him the picture.

Jordan says they got the footage from the security cameras. Elizabeth asks if Franco is hurt, but Jordan says they couldn’t tell from the angle. They can see them struggling, but next usable image is them driving away. Scotty shows up, and asks what’s with the cops. Elizabeth tells him that Jim was there, and tried to take her and Jake hostage. Franco intervened, and Jim took him. Drew adds that he took Elizabeth’s car, and Scotty says it careened by him, going toward Beecher’s Corners. Jordan leaves, and Elizabeth asks Scotty if he saw that Franco is okay. He says he doesn’t know about okay, but he was in control. He was definitely driving, and there was no sign of Jim.

Franco throws Jim into the studio. He asks Jim if he remembers how he was so keen to buy the place that brought them together after all these years. Jim asks if it wasn’t condemned, and Franco says, yep; it’s just them. Jim’s favorite painting survived the earthquake without a scratch. Jim says they shouldn’t be there. Franco says he likes it there. In his life, it’s been hard to feel safe, but he feels safe there. He’s done his best work there, and they have work to do. Jim asks Franco, please don’t hurt him again, and Franco promises he won’t, calling him Uncle Jim. He says Jim used to like it when he called him Uncle Jim. Jim says that had some good times; he was a special kid. Franco says Jim has a very dark sense of humor. Jim doesn’t know what he’s talking about, but Franco thinks he does. Jim says he’s sorry it’s come to this. It wouldn’t have happened if he’d protected Franco. Franco asks him to clarify. Jim says when they were in his hotel room, and Franco freaked out. Drew busted in, and Jim got scared, letting his guys take them. He didn’t know what they were going to do, and would have put stop to it. Franco says, that’s enough. That’s not what happened, and not why they’re at the studio. They’re there to talk about what happened on the stairs, when he pushed Andy down and hurt him. He finally remembers what happened. He pushed Andy because of Jim. He tells Jim to talk about what happened before the stairs. Jim says it’s ancient history; why talk about it? Franco says because they’re going to, and when he’s satisfied he’s heard every word Jim has to say, he’ll put him out of his misery. He’s going to keep his promise not to hurt him, but he’s going to kill him.

Franco says, let’s talk what really went on, but Jim says he has nothing to say. Franco says that’s a first; Jim is never at a loss for words. Jim says they’ve already talked about what he did to Andy, but Franco says, not all of it. We see young Franco push Andy. He says, yes, he did it, but why? Jim says Franco knows why, and Franco tells him to pretend he forgot, and explain it. Jim says it’s in his DNA; he was born to hurt people. He terrorized Andy. Betsy needed him there to keep Franco away from him. He asks if Franco remembers what Andy looked like at the bottom of the stairs. We see Betsy finding him. Franco says he remembers better than Jim. Jim whines about seeing Andy so small in the hospital bed. We see Betsy in a bad wig next to Andy at the hospital, and Jim telling her that he’ll take care of Bobby tonight. Franco says he remembers going to bed that night, closing his eyes, and trying to disappear, but he couldn’t. We see Jim coming into his room, and says he knows Bobby is playing possum. He knows Bobby is upset about what happened, so he got him something. He gives him a stuffed toy. Franco says he was in there so many times – when his mom was at work, late at night when his mom was sleeping. He was in the bed, sitting next to him, and would pat the bed spread two times; always two times. One time he even came in broad daylight when his mom was downstairs. Jim calls him crazy. Franco says Jim told him they had to be quiet, so no one would know. Jim says it’s not true. Franco says, it is. The thing that troubles him the most, is that Jim somehow made him think he deserved it. We see Jim telling Bobby not to make trouble for his mom; it’s their secret. Jim says his mom was weak, and he needed a strong hand. Franco says they wouldn’t be there if Jim had just smacked him around. He pushed Andy to save him. He couldn’t let Jim molest Andy the way he molested him. He did that to him, and was going to do it to Andy. That is the truth. Jim calls him nuts, saying it’s a bizarre fantasy concocted to let him off the hook. Franco cries, saying he was just a little kid. Jim used him; fouled him. Now he’s going to say it. He points the gun at Jim. Jim says he’s not a bad man. Franco needed him, and he was there for him. All he ever did was love him.

Brad talks to Nelle about how he and Lucas can’t wait to take home their baby. She asks if the adoption is confirmed, and Brad says he’s worried it will fall through. She tells him to relax; it won’t make the baby come any faster. She says she hasn’t seen Lucas much lately, and Brad says he’s been working a lot, so he can take time later when the baby comes. Lucas calls, and Brad steps away. Michael sits at the table. He tells Nelle that if she’s going to make friends, she can’t do much worse than Brad. I guess he didn’t get the memo that Brad changed his ways.

Scotty tells Elizabeth that the car was going downtown, even though he told the cops it was going in the opposite direction. If Franco was the hostage taker and not the hostage, he didn’t want to alert them. Elizabeth wonders why he wouldn’t get help. Scotty has no idea why Franco does what he does. He probably got upset when Jim manhandled her and Jake. He can’t find Franco, but knows who can – Mac Scorpio.

Jim tells Franco he’s sorry he hurt him. He was a special kid, and they had a bond. Franco asks how many children did Jim abuse? Franco tried hard to stop Jim from doing to Andy what he did to him. One day, he showed up with a baseball mitt for Andy, and he knew Jim wasn’t going to stop. He says don’t tell him it was only one, and Jim says he doesn’t know how many. Franco doesn’t believe him, and Jim says he doesn’t remember. Franco thinks he does. He thinks Jim remembers everything; every little detail like what their favorite cartoons were, and breakfast cereal, and the colors of paint in their bedrooms. He bets Jim remembers every gift he gave every one of them. Jim says he was so special, and Franco says he’s not getting out alive without a full confession. He hands Jim a pen.

Carly tells Sonny she doesn’t know what caused the lights to go out or the noise. She just found the picture. Someone broke it. The same someone who left it there for her to find, but she didn’t see anyone. She could feel someone was in there. Sonny says the earthquake could have broken it, but Carly insists it didn’t. It’s not the first time she’s gotten a message about Morgan.

Sonny says he’ll check the circuit box. Carly says she did that already, and tells him it started with the phone calls. She thought they were thought pranks. At first, they were just hang-ups, then a young guy said, I’m here, and in the last call, she heard an explosion. Dante traced the calls to a pay phone near where Morgan died. She explains that she and Jason went to the police. They talked to a homeless man who said a young guy used the phone a couple of times, but after that, the calls stopped. She tells Sonny about the scarf she found on her desk, and how it was like Morgan used to wear. Sonny wants to see it, but she says he can’t. The fire alarm went off, and when she came back, it was gone. Now this photo. The common thread is their son. Sonny understands why she’d ask Jason, but wonders why she never told him.

Nelle asks Michael what’s wrong with Brad. Michael says he has a questionable past, and Nelle wonders if he knows who he’s talking too. She says he’s been nice to her, and Michael says he’s not telling her not to be friends, just giving her the facts. She appreciates him looking out for her, but says Brad has been nothing but cool. She doesn’t think Lucas would have married him or want to raise a child with him if he wasn’t. And if he’s good enough for Lucas, he’s good enough for her. Michael says it’s her call; he just wanted her to be aware.

Scotty tells Drew that Franco was driving downtown. Drew wonders where Franco would take Jim, and can’t understand why he wouldn’t call the police. Elizabeth thinks there are missing pieces to the story. Drew says if Franco didn’t tell her, he can’t fully remember or can’t share it. She says he’s been bothered by Jim since the beginning. He couldn’t shake it, like the painting of him and Drew when they were kids. Drew says he’s only seen a picture of it. She says for whatever reason, it rattled Franco, and got him thinking about his childhood. Drew asks if the painting is at her house, but she says he didn’t want to look at it. He asks where it is.

Franco makes Jim write a confession. Franco wants to know where Jim took all the kids. He thinks Jim has a spot, so they’re going there. Jim asks what about his confession. Doesn’t he want Jim to go to prison? Franco says the statute of limitations is long expired. Jim asks if Franco is going to let him go, and Franco shakes his head, saying he’s going to kill him. Jim says Franco promised he wouldn’t hurt him, and Franco says he’ll kill him quickly. Jim tells him not to do this. He knows he failed Franco. Franco points the gun at him, saying he deserves to die. Jim tells him to think about the other kids, and if they don’t deserve the same chance to hear him admit what did and see him punished. The only thing Franco cares about is stopping it. Jim says he’ll be in prison, and never be near a kid again. Franco says it’s too risky. The only way to know he’ll never hurt anyone again is to kill him. Jim says Franco will only make him a victim; he’s sick and needs help. Who will he be to the people love him? The guy they love is a cold-blooded executioner. Franco remembers Jim telling him to be a good boy, and points the gun at him, saying, never again. Jim jumps up, and pushes him.

Sonny understands why Carly tells Jason everything, but why not tell him? She says he was already dealing with Mike. She’d thought it would be handled by now. She doesn’t understand any of it, but Sonny says they’ll get through it together, and hugs her.

Nelle tells Brad she’s starving, and he says it’s on him; a token of his gratitude for what she said. He made a bad mistake, and bad choices. Even now, he feels like he doesn’t measure up with Lucas’s family. Nelle says she’s over it. She doesn’t care what people think anymore. He says for what it’s worth, he thinks highly of her, and expects to think even higher when she becomes a mother. She says, back atcha, dad-to-be.

Josslyn heard Michael putting in his two cents about Brad. It shows he cares. Michael says that’s not the same as loving someone. He should have figured that out sooner.

Scotty tells Elizabeth that he’s out of there before Jordan realizes he gave her the wrong information. He’s meeting Mac at Kelly’s. He wonders where Drew went, and Elizabeth says he had someplace to be.

Jim and Franco struggle. The gun flies out of Franco’s hands. They fall to the floor, and Franco grabs for it, but Jim gets him in a headlock. Franco sees Betsy, who’s saying she’s sorry. He sees Elizabeth reaching for him, and Andy giving him the rabbit’s foot. He starts to black out. Jim calls him Bobby, and tells him to go to sleep. He couldn’t leave it alone. It’s his fault. He made Jim do it. He promised not to tell, and he’s a bad boy. A gun goes off, and Jim falls. Drew stands there with a literal smoking gun.

Tomorrow, Lulu wants to take Valentin up on his offer, Sonny says there’s no proof of a scarf, and Drew tries to wake up Franco.

Vanderpump Rules

James calls Kristen an attention seeker, and tells her to shut up. She throws a drink at him, and half of it lands on Lala. James and Lala walk out. James tells Stassi that he hopes she’s happy. If he said something, it was meant as a joke. Scheana says he was apologizing. In her interview, Katie thinks it’s all a waste of energy. Lala asks, who throws a drink? (apparently, Kristen), and Stassi says, who makes things like this up? Lala says, he didn’t, and way to have a civilized conversation. Now she has a drink all over her.

James talks to Raquel, weeping on the phone that he doesn’t know what to do. Tom comes over to talk to him. He asks if there’s something James doesn’t remember, but James says, no. He has nothing to lie about. In his interview, he says they kept poking and prodding.

Stassi orders room service, with balsamic vinaigrette to go with the pizza. In her interview, she explains the five condiments for pizza are: sriracha/ranch, ranch, balsamic, hot sauce, and one time when she was drunk, she used ketchup. I have never once wanted to dip my pizza in any kind of dressing.

Jax says it’s the last night, so they’re turning it up, as the kids say. Then he gets confused, not being sure if it should be turnt. The drinking commences.

James says Jax is running with a sarcastic, bad joke. Lala tells him she’s proud of how he handled himself. She wondered if that really happened, and James calls Kristen stupid. He says she’ll be coming for him now, with a diabolical plan. Lala says Kristen will have to go through her first, and that the two of them are like Eminem (who she calls Em) and Dr. Dre. No one is gangster like them. I feel like I should comment here, but I don’t even know what to say.

Katie says Kristen is making it worse for herself; it’s like Jerry Springer. Kristen complains about what she went through, and in her interview, Katie says it was like a psychotic mental crazy tirade. She says she told Kristen to take a breath. Nip it in the bed, bury it, and move on, but she didn’t listen. Kristen says at least she used a drink and not her fist. Katie tells her it’s pointless. She’s not going to lie and say Kristen did the right thing. She’s making it worse. In her interview, Kristen says Katie is being an a-hole to her, and wonders why this is her fault.

At TomTom, the walls are up, as well as the framing for the office. Ken and Lisa discuss the plans, and Ken says the kitchen won’t be happening for a month. Lisa remembers opening a place in Piccadilly Circus, saying it was a lot of pressure, but wonderful. Tom calls, and tells her that he’s been trying different cocktails, and has his eye on different mescals. She says he can show her when he gets back. He says that the others are interested in checking the place out, and he wants them to see the progress, Lisa says it looks like bomb went off. In his interview, Tom thinks if his friends see the progress as it’s happening, they can have more of a connection to the finished product. Lisa tells him okay, and asks how they’re doing. He says everyone is getting along, and James and Kristen might or might not have hooked up. She says nothing surprises her, and the only recipe Kristen knows, is one for disaster.

Jax wants to call Kelsey and give her an update. His anxiety is high from the trip. Uh-huh. I don’t think I’ve mentioned it for a while, but I hate Jax. With a passion.

Brittany tells Stassi that Jax wants privacy, so he can FaceTime with Kelsey, his Reiki instructor. In her interview, Stassi says if Jax kicked her out for some stupid sh*t called Reiki, she’d hit him with a rake. Brittany says she can only imagine what they talk about. All she knows Is that Kelsey taps on him, and it calms him down, but weed does the same thing.

Jax tells Kelsey that he’s in Mexico. She asks if he’s taking time for himself, like he ever takes any other kind of time. He says it’s utter chaos, and there’s a lot of drinking. He’s trying to steer clear of the drama, but feels attacked by everyone. He has no patience when he’s being attacked. She tells him when that’s happening, to sit for a moment and breathe. When we react to things people say about up, that means a part of us believes it’s true. Jax says he snaps easily, but he’s learning not to. Kelsey tells him to focus on the good stuff. She says Nelson Mandela could have chosen to see the bad happening to him, or what he did, seeing what he’d do afterward. In his interview, Jax says he knows who Nelson Mandela is. He went to jail because he fought for the rights of the providence, or whatever. One of the producers asks what country he’s from, and Jax answers, Africa? His question mark. He does know Nelson is in Oprah’s book club though. Kelsey tells him that he has the power to manifest what he wants. His decision should be to make no decision for the next two weeks. Jax says she always makes him happy. Jax always makes me ill.

Scheana is excited to see Rob. The four days felt like four months. I’ll bet it felt like four minutes for him. Kristen says it’s taking all of her will power not to strangle James. She can’t leave the rumor in Mexico, and has to take it home. Stassi says, adios, Mexico.

Kristen and Carter go to lunch. Carter says he worked and took care of the dogs while she was away. Kristen wishes he’d been there, but is glad she went. She says everything was fine, but James created a rumor. She says she’d walked with him on the beach, and something was said when the guys were at golf. Tom asked James if they’d messed around, and James’s response was, a little bit. Carter says this is pissing him off. When they were first hanging out there was an issue with James. In her interview, Kristen says she’ll never live it down, and it will always be in the back of Carter’s mind. We flash back to when she claimed to have made out with James, and he said they had sex, just after she met Carter. She says she has no credibility, but she would never jeopardize her position with him. He tells her not to put herself in these positions; her track record doesn’t speak highly of her. He says he’s going to have a chat with Tom, and Kristen insists there’s no cheating going on.

Everyone is back at SUR, and I love Lisa’s blouse so much. It’s a white, button-down in a pirate/price style, and the sleeves are poufy on the bottom half. She asks Lala what happened to her lips, and if it’s permanent. Lala says, no. She sucks on a bottle cap to get the effect, but she did it for too long. She shows Lisa a picture of what she looked like before the swelling went down, and her lips are cartoonishly huge. It’s like when all the kids were trying to look like whatever Jenner/Kardasian that was. Lisa tells her it’s ridiculous. She asks how the trip was, and Lala says she had the best time. She tells Lisa that they went in on Jax at dinner because he’s an effing idiot. He wants to move Brittany to Florida to do social media for a hockey team. In her interview, Lisa says Jax talks a lot, and she doesn’t pay much attention. He also said he wanted to be a bartender, and he couldn’t do that either. Lala promises not to look like a duck when they open.

James sets up to DJ, and tells Raquel it feels good to be back. He’s nervous about tonight, wondering who’s coming to mess him up, considering what happened in Mexico. Now that he’s sobered up, he wouldn’t go near Kristen with a ten-foot pole. He got drunk, but he didn’t cheat. He does a sound check.

While driving to work, Brittany tells Jax she misses Mexico. He says they just have to pay for the trip now. She asks if he’s put any more thought into the Florida job. He says Kelsey told him not to think for two weeks. You’d think it wouldn’t be that hard for him not to think period, but he says it’s hard not to think about his dream job. Brittany hopes he’s including her in the thinking. He says it would be good for both of them. They’ll make more money, and the cost of living is lower. Brittany wants to make sure he’s thinking it through, and he says it’s a good opportunity. In her interview, Brittany says her close friends are there, and she has a great job. She’s comfortable there, and it’s unfair, considering the things she’s given up for him so far. He asks if Adam, her boyfriend, will be there tonight. Brittany laughs his remark off, saying Adam is a nice guy. Jax tells her there’s no such thing. In his interview, Jax says no matter how innocent, he doesn’t know what Adam is thinking, and he needs to know his role is twenty steps behind Jax. Brittany is like, Jax, please, but likes that he’s jealous.

Katie is waiting for Stassi, who’s planning a party for her. She took a break from her beauty blog to plan the wedding. She’s throwing a party to impress those seriously networked in beauty industry. Stassi arrives, and they make a list. Stassi asks if Katie has talked to Kristen. Schwartz forgot about that, and Stassi says it was made into a bigger deal than it should have been. Katie says it might not be true, but at the end of the day, who cares? Stassi says Kristen is trying so hard to disprove it, it’s looking true. In her interview, Stassi says if she caught Patrick with an ex in Mexico, she’d plan a murder for two years from now, so she didn’t get caught. She’d make an ice pick out of actual ice, stab them, and let it melt. No one would know how they were murdered, because there would be no weapon. That’s ingenious.

Scheana tells Lisa her divorce is final. Lisa asks if she’s marrying Rob, and Scheana says she hopes so. They’ve talked about it, and he likes Madison as a name for a girl. She says they’ve been looking at houses. Lisa tells her to take her time: she’s been divorced less than a week. In her interview, Lisa says Scheana should wait for the ink to be dry before picking out baby names. Maybe she should wait for Rob to be interested in getting married. Scheana tells her about the sort of set-up with Brittany and Adam, and how Jax is pissed. She admits she did it partly because he’d been talking about her and Rob. The one time Jax actually told the truth. It figures. In her interview, Lisa says Scheana is treading a dangerous line. Jax has no morals, but has a huge ego. This could go horribly wrong. Scheana says, mission accomplished.

SUR is packed. James spins his music. Lala says she got out early just for this. Jax says he had great time. Ariana says, her too. Jax wants to talk to Adam, and says he’ll be right back. In his interview, Tom says if someone was aggressively pursuing Ariana, he would confront them. Yeah, well, the key word there is aggressively. This guy doesn’t even seem like he’s pursuing her at all. Jax asks Adam how he is. In his interview, Jax wonders why he’s even there, since he’s not scheduled to work. Adam asks how the trip was, and Jax says, amazing. He says, so, he hears Adam has a crush on his girlfriend.

Adam says, not at all, and Jax doesn’t know what to do. He messes with the chair, trying to make it higher, and then decides to stand, no doubt psychologically making himself bigger. This is too funny. He says he’s not against Adam; he’s a nice guy. Scheana came in, thinking he and Brittany had broken up, and said Adam had a crush on her. That’s fine; he’s not mad, but wants Adam to understand they’re together. Adam says, that’s understood. Adam explains that one night when they were having a drink at Jax’s place, Scheana texted him about going out with them as a group. This gets Jax really steamed. In his interview, he says he had no idea Scheana was trying to hook Brittany up in his own house. He says he wishes Adam had pulled him aside. He tells Adam that he has a home; he has a family. He has dogs. I’m dying here. Not that I don’t think of my dogs as family – I’m the worst – but Jax. Omg. He says this isn’t a candy cane relationship. What? What does that mean? Is that what you have on winter break? He’s more mad at Scheana than Adam, and says Scheana is a shady-ass with no leg to stand on. It’s like the madder Jax gets, the less coherent he gets. He says Scheana is tailgating Rob. He wants to put a nail in his head when hears about him. Well, that we agree on. He says he’ll deal with it; it’s not Adam’s problem.

Things are rocking at SUR. Ariana gets on the bar and pours shots. She’s going to make a lot of money tonight, and plans on diving into a bed of it like Scrooge McDuck. Tom talks about how hot she is. Some of the girls are off the clock, and go to the bar. Jax tells Brittany that she needs to talk to Scheana, and tells her what Adam said. Brittany says she didn’t know about it, but Scheana was just trying to make her feel better. Jax asks if he’s supposed to be okay with that, and she says noting came from it. Brittany tells him to calm down. In her interview, she says Jax is spiraling out of control. Get out of the way. The Jax train coming. She tells him to talk to Scheana.

Ariana asks James where the pillows came from by the hot tub in Mexico. He says he was so drunk, he asked to sleep out there. We flash back to Jax telling Brittany to look at the pillow. James says he was the only on in the hot tub. Schwartz was talking, and Kristen was listening to music. In his interview, he says Jax knows this will take the weight from him. He says Jax threw him under bus, and took it too far.

Jax comes over, babbling to Scheana about Adam. He says she brought him into his home for a set-up. She says it wasn’t a set-up. He says she can’t keep a husband, and she’s going to tell him how to run his life. Scheana says she just wanted Brittany to get a confidence boost after it got knocked down. In her interview, she says she’s Brittany’s friend and has the right to set her up to have a good time, flirt, or whatever. Jax effed up. Britanny did not. Karma’s a bitch. Katie says Kristen isn’t the only person who needs to grow up, and tells him to shrug it off.

James accuses Jax of spreading the rumor about him and Kristen, and he did it about Faith. He says he didn’t, but Lala insists he did. Lisa and Ken come in. Jax calls Tom over. Lala suggests he not do this in front of Ken and Lisa. Lisa says it would be nice if he acknowledged her. In his interview, he says he’s sorry he didn’t roll out the red carpet. He tells Lisa that he’s tired of them flipping the effing script on him. He starts getting louder and weird, saying, eff you, all you lying sh*ts. Lala tells him that he puts his peepee in anything that walks, and he whines it’s not fair. In her interview, Lisa wonders why choose to have a meltdown in the place that’s paid your bills for so long? Jax starts giving the finger, calling everyone lying sacks of sh*t. Now he’s giving the finger with both hands. Lisa can’t believe it, and tells him she’s never had an employee speak to her the way he does, and this is her place of business. She says he’s being arrogant, obnoxious, and acting like a baby. She’s not listening to him, and tells him leave.

Tom tries to calm Jax down. Lisa has nothing more to say, and Brittany says you can’t be screaming at your job. Jax gets pissed at Tom, saying that he’s being buddy-buddy with James. He goes nuts, pulling his mic off, and saying he’s out of there, and that everyone is delusional. Tom asks if he’s not supposed to be James’s friend. Jax stalks off, banging the side of a phone booth as he stomps down the street. Wow. I hate Jax, but that was fun.

Next time, Katie’s blog party, Carter confronts Tom, and Jax tells Brittany that she deserves better. YOU DO! RUN! NOW!

🎭 Wow…

Well, those were two ends of the TV spectrum.

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Anna sees Valentin at the MetroCourt and sits down. He says it’s a nice surprise, but he’s expecting someone for an important business dinner, and will need the chair back. She tells him that she went to Brussels with Andre; she decided to track down the midwife. He asks if she had success. She says the midwife passed away, but her daughter supplied some information. Why the hell did he lie to her?

Griff finds Peter in the examining room. He says he’s there for genetic testing. Griff says the hospital is backed up, but if it’s pressing, he’ll do it. Peter says he recently learned his father had Huntington’s disease.

Ava teaches Avery about minimalism. Kiki fawns over her, saying she’ll never study with this munchkin around. Ava suggests she take a break, and says maybe this time together will lead to a more permanent arrangement.

Carly tells Sonny that Mike is calmer, but he keeps asking if Morgan needs his room back. Sonny say she shouldn’t have to deal with this. She says his father is terrified, and unsure of losing himself to Alzheimer’s. Sonny doesn’t want it disrupting her and the kids’ lives, but she says they’re tough. Sonny asks what about Avery, and Carly says she’ll see that family sticks together. They need to be present for him, so he can be present with them. Sonny puts on his Captain Obvious hat, and says it’s going to be hard. Carly knows, and says Mike will have to make some decisions while he still can.

Drew goes to the art therapy room, and tells Franco that he had a chat with Jim. Franco has been hiding things from him, and it’s going to stop right now.

Jason tells Sam that Elizabeth sees Franco one way, and he sees Franco another. He told her the truth that he was going to leave Franco, but Sam wouldn’t let him. Sam tells him not to make her sound noble. She didn’t want to keep the secret; it’s not worth it. She says she still hasn’t told Drew that she loves him. Elizabeth hears them. Jason tells her they’ve said how they feel; that’s enough. She doesn’t have to do anything. Sam says, yes, she does. She needs to tell Drew that she’s been lying to him and herself.

Sonny asks Carly, what decisions? She asks if Mike has a will, and Sonny says it’s not like he’s at death’s door. She says he’s already having trouble with rational thought. Soon, he won’t be of sound mind, and won’t be able to make decisions, like about his end of life care. Sonny doesn’t want to do this right now, but she says they need to have the conversation while Mike is still lucid. He tells her, not right now, then apologizes for snapping. She says she doesn’t mean to push, but it’s scary; Mike is slipping already. Sonny says he isn’t up to it today, and he has to pick up Avery. They’ll talk about it tomorrow. They exchange I love yous, he leaves, and she sighs. She probably caught that from Jason.

Ava tells Kiki that Avery looks like an angel. Kiki wonders if she misunderstood. She thought last night was the sleepover. Ava says it was originally, but in all the confusion over the earthquake, she thought it would be better if Avery stayed another night. Kiki asks if Sonny agreed, and Ava says she’ll explain that Avery is already asleep. Kiki can’t believe it. He just gave her a major concession. Ava says he gave her nothing, and Kiki says, that’s right; she blackmailed him. Ava asks if they really need to do this, and Kiki says she can’t face the uncomfortable reality of what she’s doing. If she pushes it, she might destroy the little progress she’s made. Ava thinks things could change. Who thought six months ago, she’d be back at the gallery and be having Avery sleep over? Kiki adds that Ava and Griff are also a couple, but that could change if she’s not honest with him and herself. She gathers up her stuff, and leaves.

Griff asks if Peter’s father has shown any symptoms, but Peter says he passed away. He didn’t know the diagnosis until after his death. They didn’t have the best relationship. Griff tells him there’s a 50% chance of him inheriting the gene, and the disease usually presents itself between ages thirty and forty. He says there’s not much that can be done medically, except treat the symptoms. He asks if Peter has had any problems, but Peter says he’s been healthy his whole life. Griff says there are two schools of thought about it; to know or not. Finding out could lead to stress and depression. Peter says he needs to know, and Griff tells him that he’ll arrange tor a test today. He needs Peter’s medical history, and asks about Peter’s mother. Peter says he doesn’t know who she is.

Anna tells Valentin that the midwife kept detailed records, and she gave birth to a boy. Valentin says he saw a baby girl, but Anna says the document listed her alias, the date of birth, and said it was a boy. Valentin knows what he saw, or what he thought he saw. Anna asks what that was.

Drew tells Franco that Jim told him everything, and Franco calls Jim sleazy, saying he doesn’t believe a word Jim says. Drew says that Jim told him about Franco pushing him down the stairs, but Franco says he’s hiding something else. Drew tells him that Jim also claimed Franco told him to keep his mouth shut. He knows something else is going on, and Franco says, yeah, Jim is a liar.

Jason tells Sam that she doesn’t owe anyone any explanations. She says she’s confused; she loves Drew too. She doesn’t want to hurt either of them, and dragging it out just makes it worse. If she’d been honest from the start, they wouldn’t be having this problem. He tells her to do what she thinks is right, even if that means doing nothing. He says not to worry about him; take care of herself and the kids. If she needs him for anything, just call. Sam walks away and sees Elizabeth. They look at each other.

Anna wonders how Valentin could be confused. Her superiors never even suspected she’d been with Faison, but he did, and followed her to Brussels. He kept the secret all these years. How does such an excellent spy make a mistake like that? Valentin says the midwife handed the baby to the adoptive parents wrapped in a pink blanket, and he made the assumption. It might have been her intention, so there would be no trail. He asks if the records said anything else. She tells him to have good dinner, and leaves.

Peter explains to Griff that his mother abandoned him at birth. She was a working girl, but he doesn’t have much to go on, even if he cared to look. Griff says even if she didn’t have the gene, there’s still a 50% chance that he has it. Peter says he’s a top executive, and is concerned about his bosses finding out. Griff says it’s confidential, and no one can divulge the results without his legal permission. Peter says, let’s get started.

Elizabeth tells Sam that she startled her, but she’s glad she’s there. She thanks Sam for saving Franco’s life. Sam says, given what she just learned, she wonders if they should have left him.

Drew says he’s not going anywhere until Franco tells him. Franco says Jim is a liar, and Drew says so is he. He’s clearly hiding something. Franco says he’s been trying to piece it together. They were at the top of the stairs together; then Drew wasn’t there. Drew says Franco pushed him, but Franco’s not sure about that. He doesn’t remember, but what he is sure of, is that Jim was there. Drew was next to him, playing with a dragon he always carried around. Franco wanted him to go downstairs, but Drew wanted Franco to go with him. Then he was at the bottom. It’s fuzzy, but what knows for sure is that it didn’t go down the way Jim said. Drew says, he believes him.

Sonny asks Ava where Avery is, and Ava says she was so tired, she couldn’t keep her eyes open, so she tucked her in. He says it’s the agreed-on time, but she says Avery had other plans. He says he’ll bundle her up and carry her to the car. Ava asks him to let her stay, and she’ll bring her over in the morning. Would it be so terrible, since she’s already asleep? Sonny says that’s because Ava put her down, and Ava says they had a wonderful time. Avery is taken with art. Maybe she’ll turn out like her mom.

Kiki stops by David’s office. She wanted to take out a pharmacology book, but he’d already swiped it. He tells her that he was brushing up, and the book is on his shelf. She picks it up, and remarks that he has a first edition of Gray’s Anatomy. He says it’s the first US edition, so it’s not as prized. Collecting old books is a hobby. She thanks him. He says pharmacology class is rough, and asks how she’s holding up. She says she’s keeping her head above water – barely. He says he has some time, and can help her study.

Jason visits Carly, who is glad he’s okay. He says he’s fine, but she tells him that he says that even when he’s been shot; she needed to make sure. He notices she’s been crying, and she says things are tough with Mike; he keeps forgetting Morgan is dead. He’s losing his memory faster than they thought. Sonny understands, but he’s fighting it. Jason says it’s easier to be angry than sad. She says it breaks her heart; she can see in Mike’s face. He knows, and it’s killing Sonny. Jason tells her that she can get Sonny through this; she’s strong enough to get through anything. She tells him to keep reminding her. She needs a distraction, and asks what happened to him during the earthquake.

Franco is astonished that Drew believes him, but Drew says that doesn’t mean he trusts him. He just trusts Jim less. Franco says Drew is more rational than he thought he was capable of being. Drew asks why Franco thinks Jim is lying. Franco says when Jim first came to town, he told him Drew died, but Betsy only told him that after he’d confronted her about his imaginary friend. Which means Jim is in contact with his mother.

Elizabeth asks why Sam is so angry. Sam says she’s only saying this because if she was in Elizabeth’s position, she would want to be told. Jim told Drew the truth about why he was sent to an orphanage. Franco tried to kill him when they were children.

Anna sees Griff, and they talk about the earthquake. She says she was lucky with her home, and was in Brussels with Andre when it happened. He asks if she’s still obsessed with tracking down Faison’s son. She says he could have been an ally or a pawn. Griff thinks she’s not telling him something, and she says there’s more to the story.

Peter meets Valentin at the MetroCourt. Valentin trusts he’s fine, and Peter says he’s perfectly healthy for now. He just scheduled the test, and Valentin says he made the right call. He doesn’t want to second guess himself every time his mind wanders, or he loses his balance. Peter says attack the problem; no second guessing. He only has half of his medical history, since his mother is a blank. He wonders if she ever thinks about him. You’d think he’d come to mind, but on the other hand, she turned him over to his father without a backward glance. Well, he doesn’t really know that.

Jason tells Carly that he was at the Quartermaine’s, so it wasn’t so bad. Carly says she was stuck in the gallery with Nelle. She tells him about Nelle giving Josslyn the dress as a gift, and how it was really stolen from Crimson. She’s using Josslyn to get to Michael, and she wanted to tell her to her face. Jason says Michael told him about her helping Nelle, but Carly says she still despises her. He knows what she means. He and Sam saved Franco’s life, but that doesn’t mean he hates Franco any less.

Elizabeth tells Sam it must be a mistake, but Sam says Franco resented Drew, and pushed him down the stairs. It makes sense that Betsy put Drew in an orphanage. She wanted to protect him from Franco. He insisted he didn’t remember, but he lied. Elizabeth says the Franco she knows would have told her. Sam says instead of going to his own wedding, he went to Jim and told him to keep his mouth shut. He can’t be honest. Elizabeth tells Sam that she has no room to talk about honesty.

Franco tells Drew that the only person who can confirm or deny it is his mom, and she was gone before Christmas. Drew says it takes money and resources to disappear like that, and Franco says like the money and resources of a real estate mogul. He thinks Jim paid his mom to disappear. Drew says they can use him to find her. Franco asks if he just said “we?”

Sonny tells Ava the sleepover was the price for her dropping the charges against his father. She asks how Mike is doing, but she’s the last person he wants to discuss his father with. She says he is her daughter’s grandfather, and Sonny says he’s fine. He’s getting treatment, and will be staying in Port Charles. He can spend time with Avery, which is more than he can say for her. Ava says she’s Avery’s mother, and he asks if they’re going down that road. His son Morgan is dead because of her. She might want to forget, but he’s not going to. He goes into the bedroom to get Avery.

David goes over some things with Kiki, but she says there are too many terms; it’s not sticking. He tells her that she needs to relax; step away for an hour and have another try. She thinks she might never be calm and collected again. David says that’s where he comes in, and asks her if she’d like to go get a bite or a drink.

Jason tells Carly about Franco being pinned under the cabinet. He was going to leave, and if he had, Franco would be dead. The wall collapsed, and the trailer fell in and exploded, but he was long gone. Carly can see Jason saving almost anyone, but Franco. Jason says Sam talked him into it. Carly says, so Sam was there, and smiles.

Sam tells Elizabeth that she’s told her fair share of lies, and has her share of secrets, but it doesn’t compare to what Franco has done. Elizabeth says he had a brain tumor. Sam asks in her experience as a nurse if that’s how tumors work, or is it an excuse? What if that has nothing to do with who he really is? Elizabeth says she knows him; he’s a better man. Sam tells her that no one lies more than Elizabeth has to herself, and Elizabeth walks away.

Drew wants to make it clear, Franco is the last person on earth he wants to work with, but he has no choice. Franco says Drew has to admit, he’s more fun than Jason. Drew says no one more to lose than they do, and he can trust Franco will serve his own self-interest. Reluctantly, he’ll work with him to find out what happened when they were kids. If Jim is right, and he was a little psychopath, Drew will personally make sure he never sees Elizabeth again or comes near her family. Do they have a deal?

Anna tells Griff that her search is relevant to his specialty. Faison was suffering from a genetic disease; any child of his could inherit the defective gene. Felicia explained it to Maxie, and Obrecht told her that Britt’s test was negative. She’s trying to find Henrik and tell him. Griff doesn’t think she should, but she says it could affect his future decisions. Griff says it’s compassionate and admirable, and asks what he could have inherited. She says, Huntington’s disease.

Peter wonders if Faison thought his mother could be paid off, since he paid to sleep with her in the first place. She went on her merry way, and he grew up with a psycho. Valentin thinks he should put it in the past where it belongs. No matter what the results, he’ll work through it and Valentin will have his back, like always. Nothing has changed that.

David tells Kiki that he heard Charlie’s is up and running, and she deserves downtime. She says she doesn’t have time; she’ll have to clear her mind with a podcast in the car. He says he has something for her, and picks up the copy of Gray’s Anatomy. She tells him she can’t accept it, but he says he never gave her a gift for her acceptance to medical school. He writes something in it, and tells her now it’s inscribed; it’s too late to refuse. She reads, to Kiki, who knows more than she thinks she knows. Oddly enough, she doesn’t know what to say. He tells her to go with thank you, and she does. I’m not sure if he’s hitting on her or not, but she could do a lot worse.

Sonny brings out Avery, telling her daddy is taking her home and mama Carly misses her. Bleh. He’s annoying me. Ava is no saint, but he’s being way too mean. Ava says she heard how he rescued Nelle and Carly, and calls him heroic. She adds that the lock was expensive, and she’ll send him a bill. He tells Avery that daddy can fix anything, and tells Ava to do what she has to do.

Jason tells Carly how Sam convinced him, and they worked together get Franco free. They were still there when the aftershock happened, and they were hanging over the edge. It was close, and they barely got out before the trailer exploded. Carly asks if Sam said she loved him, and he asks why she would. Carly says, why wouldn’t she? He saved her life. There’s no better time to admit it. He says she did, and Carly says, well? He admits he told Sam that he loves her too. Carly asks him to tell her the words she wants to hear, and Jason says she was right. She says she’s so happy for them, but he says just because they said it, doesn’t mean they’ll be together. She says, who cares? They can figure the rest out later.

Sam remembers Jason telling her that no matter what, they know they love each other, and if that’s all it is, it’s enough. She gets in the elevator.

Franco says, deal. They’ll work together to find out the truth. He holds out his hand, but Drew doesn’t shake it. He tells Drew to understand one thing. He’d never hurt Elizabeth or her kids. Drew says the issue here is Jim, and Franco calls Jim a liar who lies. He’s not telling everything he knows, and they need a plan. Drew says he’s working on something. Franco asks if Drew wants to tell him, and Drew says he’ll be in touch. Franco says so this is their working relationship; Drew does stuff, and Franco waits by the phone.

Elizabeth comes to the art therapy room, and says Sam told her about Franco’s conversation with Jim.

Tomorrow, Josslyn asks if Michael is there to see Nelle, Elizabeth asks Franco if he tried to kill Drew, and Nelle wonders if something tragic can turn to something wonderful.

Vanderpump Rules

Ariana dreads going to laser hair removal. Tom asks if it smells like burning hair, and she says only if you don’t shave close enough. Great question, but I don’t want to know. They talk about how awesome Vegas was. Tom is happy, since he actually did something more productive than just drinking. He thinks he might have annoyed Ken and Lisa a little, but can’t help his enthusiasm. He hopes they don’t think he’s overstepping.

James puts his jacket on, since his dad is coming to see him DJ. It’s his first visit since the divorce, and James is happy to see him. His dad managed George Michael, and was also a DJ. It was a musical environment growing up, so James wants to make him proud. He asks what James is drinking, and Raquel reminds him that he’s not drinking anything tonight. He says his dad doesn’t understand about him getting crazy when he drinks, and doesn’t get why he’s not drinking while he works. Lisa arrives at SUR, and says hello to James’s dad. She knew him back in the day, but Ken was more his friend.

Brittany, Lala, and Scheana set up for Jax’s birthday at the Hooters where Brittany used to work. Brittany knows everyone wonders why she’s throwing Jax a party, but her mom said if she’s going to continue with the relationship, she has to leave the past in the past. In her interview, Stassi says when she found out Jax had cheated on her, she threw all of his sh*t out, moved out of the apartment, and drank all of his Cristal. She’s not getting why Brittany is throwing him a massive party. Jax says there’s nothing better than turning 38 and going to Hooters. It appeals to his inner child. Inner?

Scheana asks to talk to Jax. She tells him about Kristen repeating that Rob said he loves her, but isn’t in love with her. Jax asks if he’s said it, and she claims he has. He says Rob told him something different then. We flash back to that. She asks if he said he wasn’t in love with her, and Jax says from what he remembers. She says eventually they’re getting married, but maybe it’s slower than she wants. He says that’s what he means. In his interview, he says life isn’t a perfect Instagram story the way Scheana would like it to be.

Everybody chows down on wings and meatballs. Schwartz and Tom give Jax a gift box, and say he has to wear it. It’s a romper. They’ve gotten rompers for themselves, so he won’t feel alone. Brittany thinks it looks like he works for UPS, and he unoriginally tells her he has a package to deliver.

Billie and Stassi visit Kristen. Stassi is enjoying getting to know Billie; she’s never known someone with her story. There’s nothing bad she can say about her – at this moment in time. Billie tells them that Ariana’s brother, Jeremy, asked her on a date. Kristen asks if they’re going to a public place, and Billie asks, why? Stassi thinks he’s a little creepy. She was freaked out at Katie’s wedding. He wouldn’t leave her alone, and it gave her a sick feeling. We see a clip, and he seems overly enthusiastic at best. Kristen is hoping he’s not just looking for sex, and Billie asks them not to scare her.

Brittany and Scheana go to brunch. Brittany asks if she and Jax cleared things up. Scheana says they’re cool, and asks how it’s going with them. She thinks they seem happier, but wishes they were as happy as she is. She tells Brittany there are options. In her interview, Brittany wants Jax to be the fun person he can be, not the a-hole personality. He needs to buck up or sit down. Scheana gets a text from bartender Adam. He’s been asking about Brittany. In her interview, Scheana thinks he’d be the perfect guy for Brittany. She wants Brittany away from Jax and around anybody else.

The Toms work at the new restaurant site. Ken and Lisa supervise. Tom questions the logistics of the bar, and Lisa says they’ve built more bars than the two Toms have had hot dinners. She wants something that’s never been seen before. She wants him to check out other places, and their specialty cocktails, and think about a new twist they can put on them. In his interview, Tom says he got a little excited. He’s going to work on the best cocktails anyone has experienced. He suggests something with dry ice.

Billie and Lala visit Scheana. Before she makes drinks, she has some options for Billie to wear on her date. Jeremy and Billie both smoke weed, so she thinks they’ll be perfect for one another. If that’s the only criteria, I can see where Scheana makes her mistakes. I think there needs to be a little more than that. Billie tells them about what Stassi said, and how she and Kristen told her that Jeremy tries to date everyone. Lala says they tend to say things that ultimately affect someone’s life, and she’s not okay with them squashing Billie’s excitement. Billie tries on some outfits, and settles on – a romper.

Lala and Billie go to the bar to have a drink before her date. Lala says first dates give you the jitters and butterflies. Man bunned Jeremy arrives, and Lala jets. Say no to the man bun. Unless you’re Josh from Sweet Home Oklahoma. Billie says she’s nervous because she’s trans. Jeremy says she’s a woman now, and deserves to be acknowledged as one, which is actually the perfect thing to say. She asks why he’s so dope. Oh how I want to make a weed joke here, but it’s too easy.

James meets his dad for a drink at a weird tiny bar. They talk about James’s DJ gig, and James says it’s nice having people looking at him for once. His dad tells him that it’s his heritage; he’s given James his skills. James claims he’ll be on the Grammy stage with Lala one day. In his interview, James says George Michael being his godfather is the reason he’s into music. He says once things with George Michael went south, they lost a lot. He thinks it’s partly the reason his parents broke up. James thanks dad for being supportive, and we see a picture of James wearing headphones when he was three. In his interview, he says his dad is still pursuing music and finding new talent. He gets all weepy, saying he misses him.

Lisa asks Ariana if everything is okay. Ariana says they’re having a girls’ night, and Lisa wonders why she looks stressed. Ariana tells her that Stassi was saying mean things about her brother. Is it me, or does this sound like something someone would say in middle school? In her interview, Ariana finds it annoying that Stassi and Kristen spoke with authority, since they don’t know Jeremy. They don’t have to. The man bun says it all. That, and the clip of him at the wedding. Lisa thinks it’s ironic, since he saved the restaurant from burning down, and Stassi had once threatened to burn it down.

Lisa asks what Jeremy is up to, and thanks him for saving the restaurant. She says lots of people would have walked away. Either I don’t remember, or haven’t been following totally. Did he pull the fire alarm? Throw a blanket on something? Lisa gives him some cash to make his week easier, since he helped hers. Please adopt me, Lisa. I will pull all the fire alarms. Lala and Ariana leave to get dressed. Lala says they’re going to have fun, but also make a statement.

At the restaurant, Brittany is thrilled with her entourage. She says the girls don’t even like each other, but they’re at the same table supporting her. Lala says there’s an elephant in the room, and if she doesn’t address it, no one will. She likes Stassi a lot, but asks her why she told Billie that she hopes her date is in public. Stassi asks what she said (and actually, she didn’t say that; Kristen did). She wasn’t talking about him like he was a murderer, and doesn’t want to hurt anyone. Scheana has to leave. Katie says that numerous women have said Jeremy was creepy and acting predatory at her wedding. In her interview, Ariana says if her eyes could melt skin off Stassi’s face, she would. Ariana claims she was hanging out with him all night at the reception. Katie says she’s just being an advocate for those who can’t advocate for themselves. Ariana is insulted, as though Katie accused her of never being supportive of women. Lala comforts Ariana, who says they’re about to get to a place they won’t come back from, and decides to leave. In her interview, Stassi says Ariana is hypocritical. If Ariana says something about her, it’s a hard truth she needs to hear, but if anyone talks about her brother, it crosses the line. Katie asks if she wasn’t clear about what she was saying, and everyone looks like they have headaches.

At his apartment, Jax messes around on a set of electronic drums. Tom says it’s awesome, and Jax tells him that Brittany gave them to him, and set them up. In his interview, Tom says Jax must be thinking maybe he should cheat on Brittany before his next birthday, and see what he gets then. They jam a little, and Tom says he has to talk to Katie. She said stuff to Billie about Jeremy. We see a clip of Ariana telling Tom that Katie said Jeremy was a creeper at her wedding, and she was advocating for women who couldn’t be there. Tom tells her that’s complete and total bullsh*t.

Stassi and Kristen visit Katie, who has a project for the evening. There all kinds of bottles and jars on the table. Tom knocks on the door, and Schwartz tells him to proceed with caution. The girls are drinking and casting spells. Katie says they’re making perfume. Tom asks what’s up with them talking about Jeremy? He says Jeremy has had to deal with a lot of things, but the girls agree that he’s creepy. Schwartz says they can’t know him from one night. Stassi says she knows how he acts, and why would she make it up? Tom says because it’s convenient, which makes no sense whatsoever. In his interview, Stassi says he wasn’t there when Jeremy was hitting on her. He was busy playing his sh*tty trumpet solo. Stassi says she’s sick of men protecting men, and Tom says that’s not true, and she’d better watch herself; they all better watch themselves. To Katie’s credit, she remains serene, and doesn’t launch herself over the table to grab his throat. As I would have done, telling him that he’s the one who’d better watch it. Instead, she asks if he has any business there, other than telling people to watch themselves in her home. He tells her that she’d better get her effing facts straight. In his interview, Schwartz says he can see where Tom is coming from; these are serious accusations. On the other hand, Tom can’t be yelling at his wife. Tom says if they make up lies, he’ll start telling truths. Okay. Like everything isn’t on film.

Brittany’s dad calls. They’re making blackberry cobbler in Kentucky. In her interview, she says she hasn’t told her dad. He’s scary to talk to about things like that, and not as forgiving as her mother. She tells him something bad happened. She’s scared to tell him, and asks him not to be mad. Her dad tells her not to leave him dangling, and she says she found out Jax cheated on her with someone she knew. Her dad says it doesn’t surprise him. That’s his type; he has no control. Brittany tells him that’s exactly what he said when they were in Kentucky. We flash back to the Kentucky visit, when Brittany’s dad told her that he wasn’t 100% on board with Jax. She tells him that’s why she hasn’t talked to him on the phone. He says when it comes to hurting his kids, he takes it personally. Brittany says Jax is almost forty, and her dad says once someone gets to that age, he’s not sure they can grow up. She says that’s what worries her. She doesn’t know if it’s possible for him to change. Her dad tells her Prince Charming might still be out there.

Jax comes in, saying he heard fragments of her conversation. Brittany tells him her dad wasn’t surprised; he has no self-control. She’s worried her memaw will find out. In his interview, Jax says he’s not saying Brittany shouldn’t talk to anyone, but he doesn’t like her airing their dirty laundry. Here’s a hint: don’t cheat then. Brittany says he has to promise never to do it again. He says of course, immediately followed by telling her that she’s not perfect either. She says don’t turn it around, and he says there’s a reason she was called Brattany when she was a kid. I’m not sure I can take much more without flying to LA and hunting him down. In her interview, Brittany says her imperfections are things like not taking the dog out, or having too many tequila shots, not screwing one of Jax’s friends. She tells him she knows it’s hard, and he tells her if she’s not happy, maybe she should move on. Another hint: if he says something like that, go. And any guy who tells you he’s not good enough for you, probably isn’t.

Lala, Scheana, and Billie meet at a restaurant. Scheana wants Brittany to know there are other hot guys out there, and she doesn’t need Jax. In her interview, Scheana says she’s known Jax for a long time, and he’s not a tortured soul who needs a good woman to take care of him. He’s a super sh*t who does sh*tty things, and doesn’t deserve to be in a relationship with Brittany. Jeremy and Billie join them, along with Adam. They order shots. Adam is definitely into Brittany. In her interview, Brittany says Jax is really jealous. It kills him if he thinks she’s flirting or if someone flirts with her. She says if he saw this, he would crap his pants. Lala brings up what Stassi said about Jeremy, and says she doesn’t think he’s out to get people. In her interview Ariana says she’s never known Stassi not being out to get people, and now Jeremy is her victim. Jeremy says imagine how you would feel, and thanks them for sticking up for him. Scheana says it’s his SUR initiation.

Scheana pulls Brittany aside, telling her that she deserves the world. Jax hasn’t given it to her, and never will. Brittany says she loves him, and can’t just throw it away. She wishes she had answers. In her interview, she says no one sees the good in Jax. Obviously, he doesn’t always deserve the best, but she wants to stay with him because she’s still madly in love with him. This makes me just want to cry. Scheana asks if Brittany wants to be her. Divorced, no kids, no progress, thirty-two and starting over. In her interview, Scheana says she knows what it’s like to lie to yourself every day, saying everything is fine, and it will work out. She doesn’t want Brittany doing the same thing. Brittany says her brain and heart fight all the time. Scheana tells her that she’s better than that, and deserves better.

Next time, Lisa tries to talk sense into Brittany, the group goes to Mexico, and Lala calls Jax out during dinner.

☁ Pondering…

👍 Nailed It…