Tag Archives: Lisa Vanderpump

March 28, 2017 – Anna’s Truth is Revealed, Alex is Back in Maxine, the Wives Return from Hong Kong & Thoughts

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Obrecht gives Anna a folder containing everything she wanted to know about Valentin, but was afraid to ask.

Ned asks if Tracy is okay. He just told her that Michael might be costing her money, and she didn’t react. She says everything is fine, but she has to go. He wonders why she’s being purposely vague. He asks if she’s hiding something, and says don’t tell him she’s meeting with Larry.

Alexis hears something and thinks it’s Julian. She opens the door, but there’s nothing and no one there. She definitely dipped into that vodka. About three fourths is gone. She says if Julian is still alive, here’s his chance to stop her from drinking. She pours another, and says that’s what she thought. There’s a knock at the door.

Sonny asks if Lucy can wait. She says she doesn’t mean to interrupt, but she has to speak with both of them. It’s about their son. She says she’s gone back and forth about it, but has finally decided. Ava comes dashing in, saying that she wants to talk to Sonny about Avery’s education, even though she’s like two years old. Lucy says they were discussing their son. Ava goes on about Michael, and how she knows he hasn’t been able to contribute as much to the Nurses Ball. She says the Jerome Gallery is willing to make up the difference. Sonny tells Lucy she can count on him anytime, just not right now. (Well, that isn’t any time then, is it Sonny?) Ava tells Sonny that they can talk another day, and she’ll use this time to talk to Lucy. Ava and Lucy leave, and Carly is like, what was that?

Ned tells Tracy that the last time she met Larry, she ended up with worms in her brain. She reminds Ned that Larry said what he has to talk about is connected to her father, but Ned says that Larry knows that’s her Achilles’s heel, and he’s planning another con. She says on the outside chance it’s not a con, she has to find out. He says he hopes she’s prepared to be taken for a ride.

At least Alexis is smart enough to put the bottle in the cupboard this time. It’s Valentin. He asks if he can come in, and she wonders what happens if she says no. He tells her that would be rude, and she says they can’t have that. He asks for a drink, but she says that would indicate that she wants him to stay. He asks if she prefers to drink alone.

Obrecht tells Anna about Valetin sending messages to an encrypted account, and makes her swear not to use the information to hunt down Britt. She gives Anna the folder, saying she’s glad that Anna is as flawed and imperfect as the rest of them. Anna tells her that she can go now, and Obrecht says, you’re welcome. Yeah, really.

Tracy goes to Larry’s room, but decides Ned is right. Larry answers and she tells him she’s leaving. He says that he swiped her company credit card by mistake, and she’s paying for the room. He tells her if she’s not interested, he’ll go, but it’s a matter of the utmost importance to her family.

Ned is picking Olivia-F up for the movies, but she’s running late. He asks if she’s okay, and she says no. She tells him she has a proposal, but not that kind. He’s been more a father to Leo than Julian, and she thinks he should make it official and legally become Leo’s father. Ned says he can’t do that.

Alexis asks why Valentin is there. He gives her his condolences for her husband’s death. He says he had personal matters to deal with, but now he wants to make good on a promise – the keys to the Cassadine estate.

Anna shows Andre an email to her from Faison. She doesn’t understand why it the order to kill Valentin was issued in her name, but gets why it happened. He was to be taken out because of classified information falling into the wrong hands. The bureau was compromised, and agents were killed. Andre asks if Valentin was a double-agent. Anna says she doesn’t know, but the information wasn’t turned over by him – it was her.

Tracy tells Larry to start talking, and how is this connected to her family? He says Turkey, referring to the country. He’d been hopping across Europe, and his companion wanted to visit auction house in Turkey. One particular painting caught his eye. Another piece of the artist’s work had been appraised at $20 million, but he found out the painting belonged to someone else, and the house had no right to broker it. Imagine his surprise when he found out the owner was J.L. Holt, an alias of her father’s.

Ava says she’ll donate whatever Lucy needs. Lucy says they need money for everything, since one of their regular donors isn’t liquid. Ava says okay, and also wants Lucy’s silence. She writes a figure down, and Lucy says, wow, so cute, but they need another zero. She says it is for a worthy cause, showing Ava the bottle in her purse.

Sonny asks if Carly really wants to do this now with all the interruptions. She says he told her they haven’t had a real marriage in a long time. She doesn’t know when, or if, she can move past Nelle. He says he can’t keep doing the back and forth. She asks what he’s saying, and he tells her that if she’s not going to give them a chance, they’re done.

Laura tells Lulu that the Corrinthos family has no use for Nelle, but she thinks that Nelle has feelings for Michael. Nelle could be their way to outmaneuver Valentin.

Anna tells Andre that Valentin was questioned, and claimed he was tasked with a special assignment, and that Anna had requested the information that was leaked. He disappeared soon afterward, and the bureau thought it was his attempt to shift blame. Andre says everyone knows she wouldn’t sell out the bureau, but Anna says she would.

Valentin says Charlotte could use some relatives, and is about Danny’s age. Alexis thinks he’s trying to show he’s a good daddy, and maybe get some shared custody strategy from Diane. He says he had no siblings growing up, and wants things to be different for Charlotte. Alexis says that Charlotte has a sibling, Rocco, and he should start there. He takes out the vodka, opens the bottle, and tosses the cap to her, putting the bottle down. He leaves, and she takes her glass back out. There’s another knock at the door. Alexis doesn’t bother hiding anything, thinking it’s Valentin again, but it’s Julian.

Tracy tells Larry that she remembers her father running off to lead a different life for a couple of years. Larry says he had exquisite taste in art and always knew the value ahead of time. He informed the house that he knew the owner. They had been trying to track him down, and assumed he was dead. Larry says that the painting belongs to Edward’s heirs, and it could be returned for quid pro quo. He says the painting is worth $20 million, and they could split it. Tracy balks at paying $10 million for a painting her family already owns. He says without his knowledge, she has little to go on. Tracy says Ned told her he’d try to con her again, and she’s not playing. As she’s walking away, he tells her to think about what her father would want.

Ned asks Olivia-F what they’re doing. They’ve been dating off and on for three years, and he helped raise Leo. He’s not good enough to marry, but she wants him to be Leo’s father. Olivia tells him to look around. Everyone’s marriages are falling apart. It’s like a marriage license is a guarantee of breaking up.

Andre says that Anna’s record speaks for itself, and Anna tells him that it’s been strategically edited. She graduated with high marks got a plum assignment. She was immature and arrogant, and thought she was smarter than the system. If the DVX would pay for information, why not accept it? If she was going to risk her life, she deserved compensation. She thought she was worldly, but she was naïve. That’s how she talked herself into being a double-agent. People died, and she had to go underground, and couldn’t even raise her own child. Andre says that doesn’t sound like her, but she says that he’s wrong. It’s not who she is today, but it was then. Andre says she judges herself too harshly, and wonders if Valentin is lying. She says maybe they were both lied to.

Julian says he had the feeling Alexis might be drinking again, and came to stop her from making a mistake. She says no, and closes the door, but now he’s inside. Everywhere she turns, she sees him. She says too late, she’s been drinking all day, but he says it’s never too late to stop. She tells him that he has no right telling her what to do. She says that she read his letter, and he says protecting her. Alexis says had Julian told her the truth, maybe she wouldn’t be drinking in the first place.

Ava tells Lucy that she doesn’t have that kind of money. Lucy says maybe Sonny and Carly will come forward. Ava asks for a couple of days, but Lucy says her budget has to be ready in the morning, so she needs the cash by tonight. If not, they have a problem.

Sonny says that he and Carly are in a strange limbo. She asks who put them there? He says she keeps dangling forgiveness in front of him and taking it away, and asks if their marriage is worth fighting for. She says he’s doing it again. He lied, and now he’s giving her an ultimatum because she’s not forgiving him. If he wants to end the marriage, fine with her.

Tracy says she’s going to find the painting herself. She sees Ava and Lucy talking. Lucy tells Ava that as soon as the funds are confirmed, the pills are hers. Lucy leaves, and Ava wonders where she’s getting that kind of money on such short notice. Tracy joins her at the bar, saying she needs help about a painting.

Carly tells Sonny that if they’d had a marriage, he would have warned her about Nelle. He demands honesty, but his first instinct is to lie, and she refuses to be shut out again. He says she’s always known his business is about secrets. She says that she tried to trust him, but he lets things come to boiling point and it explodes. He tells her that he’s let her in more than anyone, and wonders why she focuses on what he can’t do.

Lulu tells Laura that Dante talked to Michael about Nelle, and he seemed furious with her. Really? I didn’t take him as being “furious.” Laura says it didn’t seem that way to her, and if Nelle wants to be back in his good graces, she should endear herself to Lulu and Dante. Lulu asks if Laura thinks that Nelle wouldn’t alienate her.

Anna goes to Valentin and says that he had the information that the DVX wanted, and he tells her that he was interrogated about it. She thinks they’ve both been played

Alexis tells Julian that she spent months trying to understand who he’d become, and she couldn’t process it because he kept her in the dark.  She lost her husband, her law license, and her self-respect because he didn’t give her the facts. Julian says he did what he did to keep her safe. She says he’s not really there and she’s just imagining it; what he’s saying is what she wants to hear. He says she’s right. He’s in her mind, which means it’s not him, but her, telling herself to put the bottle down.

Julian says he’s a manifestation of what she already knows. She needs to get back to AA. What would her daughters say, and what about getting her license back? She has too much to live for. She says not with him, and he tells her a little piece of him will always be in her heart. She’s about to kiss him, when he disappears. She pours out the rest of Rolo’s vodka. Is Rolo’s really a thing, or are they making that up? It sounds like something that’s $4.99 a gallon.

Ned tells Olivia-F that they’re going to The Floating Rib tonight, and he’s proposing again. However she responds is what he’ll accept as her final answer.

Ava asks Tracy what she needs. Tracy says painting by Renaissance master that was owned by her family, but left in Turkey. If anyone can help find it, it’s Ava. Ava says she can, for a price.

Carly says she has to forgive Sonny and accept his lies, and he gets to decide what she can know; it’s marriage on his terms. He says she’s twisting it. He’d give his life for her, but he’s never pretending to be what he isn’t, and if who he is doesn’t work for her, there’s the door. Cold Sonny. Can’t blame him though. She says this is her walking out, and she’s not coming back. She leaves, and Sonny smashes a glass against the wall.

Laura doesn’t think they can use Nelle to get visitation, and Lulu asks how is she an advantage then? Laura isn’t sure yet, but tells Lulu to make friends with her. When Valentin tries to do something to sabotage them (like he has to; they do well enough on their own), Nelle will be a witness. Lulu wonders if she’ll have an ally or a spy.

Valentin says one of them got played, but it wasn’t Anna. He says he was a rising star, and she dragged him down. She persuaded him to give her information for what she said was a special assignment. She says there must have been a third party, but Valentin says she asked him herself – after they slept together. DUN-DUN-DUNN!

Tomorrow, Amy 2.0 gets a chance to shine, Nina talks to Griff, and Ava tells Tracy she’s got it.

If Loving You is Wrong

Since my internet connection is down, I’m just capsulizing this. Long sad story and day. Maybe you’ll like it better. Maybe I will. I just want my internet back. <SOB!>

Kelly is questioned about Ramsey at the station. The questions seem a bit intrusive and I’m wondering about the officer. Okay, seriously now, he just asked why she wasn’t dating him. That doesn’t sound like the kind of question they’d be asking. It would be great if they’d tell us how he died. He also gives her the report on Travis to give to her lawyer.

Kelly sees Travis at the station and acts ignorant. He asks her a bunch of ridiculous questions, and after acting like he doesn’t know why he was called there, says that they want to talk to him about Ramsey. He’s so stupid, he grabs Kelly, and then tells the officer that she’s a liar. Some girl joins him, and claims that Kelly sends text messages to him, and he shows them his phone. He makes up a bunch of other lies, saying that Kelly is a jealous, scorned ex. The supposed new girlfriend says they’ve been praying for her, and Kelly suggests they pray for Travis. I don’t think the officer is buying all this, but he tells them to stay away from each other. Kelly talks to Esperanza while she’s there. Essie is concerned that Kelly will be a suspect.

Andrew is nowhere to be found, and Steven questions Eddie. Steven acts like he’s all down with Eddie. Eddie tells him about Lushion being FBI, but Steven gives him a file saying Lushion is too much of an idiot to be FBI. Eddie insists that Steven knows nothing, and says he’ll call the FBI himself. Like the FBI will just give up this information to a stranger.

Steven tells Lushion that they just need one more piece – I assume he means evidence—and everything will be cleared up.

The hospital is keeping Alex and Randal’s baby for the night. He had water in his lungs, and they want to make sure it doesn’t turn into pneumonia. Someone from child welfare asks them what happened. Randal tells her that Alex’s mother dropped him in the lake, and Alex tries to explain. Randal keeps putting in his two cents, and Alex keeps telling him to shut up. He says that right about now, her parents should be burning in hell, which is enough for the child welfare woman to say they’re keeping him. When she’s gone, Alex tells Randal that she wishes they’d killed him. He says unfortunately for her, they didn’t.

The officer questions Travis, and asks if he’ll do a DNA test. He agrees, but then prattles on about how Kelly won’t leave him alone, and even tells her son that Travis is his father. I have the feeling the officer isn’t picking up what Travis is putting down. He asks more questions about Ramsey, and tells Travis not to leave town and to stay away from Kelly. Before he leaves, Travis asks to pray for the officer. As he’s praying, the officer looks skeptical, even though he claims he was feelin’ it afterward. Travis invites him to the church, and he says he’ll be by. When Travis is gone, he says he’ll be by with some handcuffs. Yep, I’m right.

Lushion visits Pete. He gives Pete a gun, saying that Pete didn’t get it from him. They talk about Joey. He tells Pete to trust him; they’re all going down.

Out of the loop Randal can’t find his mother. Alex comes home and he grabs her. Marcie pops out, and Alex says Randal is just leaving, and so is Marcie. Marcie asks what happened, and Alex tells her to get out. Marcie says she’s not leaving until her man gets there with her car. Alex asks who her man is, and Marcie tells her that it’s Brad. Alex says she’s not in the mood, and Marcie antagonizes her. They tussle, and Brad walks in and separates them, taking Marcie out. Marcie says he’s hers now. Like any guy except Lushion is a prize on this show.

Kelly makes an appointment with her lawyer. Her boss tells her to call her son’s school. He left his science project in the car and Kelly asks if she can drop it off. Her boss says that’s fine, and tells Kelly what a great employee she is.

Not a big shock. Travis is waiting in Kelly’s car.

Next time, Kelly struggles with Travis, Lushion accuses Eddie of killing Andrew, and Louise tells Randal to let it go.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

LisaR questions Dorit as to whether her dinner party guests were crammed in the bathroom doing coke. Dorit is appalled. Lisa says she was sitting at the table by herself, and we flash back to her sitting at a table for maybe eight, empty, except for her and PK talking. I can think of several reasons why they might have left her sitting alone, not one of them involving drugs. Dorit says, yes, her home is a coke den, and Lisa says she alluded to her being a Xanax addict, and all this time she’d kept her thoughts to herself. Lisa says some more stupid stuff, and gets up from the table.

LisaV thinks it’s time to leave, and Eileen agrees this isn’t getting anywhere. On the way home, Dorit gets upset because she has small children at home. LisaV says she’s been there, and we flash back to – OH GOD NO – the Munchhausen conversation. We will never be rid of that. Never.

The next morning, LisaR calls LisaV to say thanks for the trip. She wishes she could stay for the shopping, but she has to get to Chicago. LisaV isn’t too happy about how she attacked Dorit, but invites her to an upcoming get together. LisaR has no regrets. She says she “goes there” with people who aren’t listening or say untruths. Says the person who didn’t remember telling Eden that Kim was not sober and close to death.

Eileen frets about the altercation with Erika, but it’s time for shopping, so she has to set that aside. Dorit says shopping will always take away the pain. They go to rich people stores that sell beautiful stuff. Erika points out that she’s a size six at home, but an extra-large in Hong Kong. Erika’s sunglasses are everything. Rich people wear the best sunglasses.

Eden buys Erika a friendship ring. OMG, ERIKA’S EARRINGS!!! They’re hoops, but they’re unusual and the color is a metallic rose gold.

LisaV takes the ladies to the ASPCA, where they’ve brought some dogs that were rescued from the meat trade. The whole thing is just so sad. But on the happy end, they visit the saved pups. Lisa talks about the cause in her interview. Eileen has a moment with one of the dogs. She asks about adoption, but it’s complicated and lengthy. They go to a room where some of the dogs can wander around and mingle. The dogs play bitey-face with each other. In her interview, Lisa says if you’re a dog lover, you can’t ignore this situation. I agree. She says that this is what the trip was for, and hopes the women understand.

Erika meets Eileen for lunch. She wants to apologize. Eileen explains that The Young and the Restless has been running late, but Erika will be getting a script soon. In her interview, Eileen says it’s awkward, since both of them are pretending nothing happened. Kyle joins them. They talk about the Hong Kong dinner, and Erika doesn’t think Dorit is sincere. She keeps making it seem like Dorit and PK said she flashed him on purpose, but that’s not what happened. She’s hoping for an apology at LisaV’s. Suddenly, she apologizes to Eileen for her meltdown. Eileen is cool about it. Erika says she was exhausted from taking the high road, and for the first time, I can identify with her.

Boy George is starting his tour, and Dorit is glad she’s not the one traveling. She talks to PK about what happened in Hong Kong. She doesn’t know where to go with LisaR. PK says LisaR is schizophrenic and dangerous. Dorit tells him about Erika’s “dramatic hoo-ha,” referring to her dinner dramatics, not Pantygate. He wonders about seeing them at LisaV’s gathering.

Commercial break with important information. Below Deck: Mediterranean begins again on Tuesday, May 2nd. They’ll be traveling to Croatia.

Erika comes to the Y&R studio. Eileen meets her in the dressing room. She’s excited and nervous. Eileen tells her that it used to be her dressing room, and her son practically grew up there.

Kyle works on the show she’s producing. Another producer goes over the upcoming scene with her. She’s liking being on the other side of the camera, and wants to earn her title. Mauricio visits Kyle on the set. In her interview, she talks about their crazy schedule, but they’re navigating it together.

Erika is playing Farrah Dubois, a real estate agent. She and Eileen’s character, Ashley, literally run into each other and have an exchange. They meet later and Farrah tries to talk Ashley into buying a house. Eileen thinks Erika should be on the show again.

Kevin Lee sets up Lisa’s party. She talks about the fist fights arguments in Hong Kong. In her interview, she says that she thought LisaR’s intentions were good at first, but now she’s not so sure. She doesn’t want to backtrack, but feels the need to point out that some of the things LisaR says are not acceptable. Ponies! LisaV introduces Kevin to the pony guy, and Kevin asks if he’s straight. Yes, he is. Oh well. Lisa leaves to get ready while the ponies get their hair done.

The rules are to wear pink, diamonds, and wedges. Kyle has tried to hem her jumpsuit on the fly, and thinks it’s crooked. That sounds like something I would do. Take the scissors to a pair of pants five minutes before I’m wearing them.

Erika’s glam squad is shocked at the wedges rule (frankly, so am I), and Erika says they don’t do wedges. So instead they come up with a pink wig for her to wear.

LisaV tends to the last-minute details. She says Kevin always interprets what she wants, and then some, even though she never understands a word he says. The tent is gorgeous, all pink and flowing, with a dreamlike room underneath it. Lots of crystal and pink happening.

Dorit tells PK she thinks it’s going to be awkward. LisaR tells Eileen that she’s an easy target. Eileen thinks there will be spirited conversation this evening. Is that what we’re calling it now?

Harrison! Everything is even more beautiful all lit up, and everyone is wearing something fabulous. Dorit questions LisaV as to whether she’s ever said that LisaR has a drug problem. LisaV says of course not, and PK seconds that. Dorit finds LisaR unpredictable, and doesn’t know what she’s capable of.

Next time, lots of glitter, some dancing, PK insults Erika, and Dorit tells LisaR to take a step back.

🔫 Imposters is so good! Tonight, Maddie let Tim know that she knows he’s working for the FBI. (There’s a lot of that going around.) But, she propositioned him gave him a proposition. I love this show because it’s full of surprises.

👠 Not so much Little Women: LA. This week, we’re back to the Briana/Matt question. Briana insists she’s moving forward, yet she never seems to. We also find out that after she attended the Dancing with the Stars episode where Terra was eliminated (jinx!), she put the moves on Terra’s manager or publicist or whatever. Christy has had her neck surgery, so nothing new in the infirmary that is her household.

 

March 27, 2017 – Julian Won’t Go Away & a Vanderpump Wedding with a Side of Divorce

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

At the MetroCourt, Scotty tells Ava that he’s going to save her ass.

Laura interrupts Sonny and Carly’s argument at Perks, but Carly says they’re done. It doesn’t matter. Laura stopped respecting boundaries ages ago.

Elizabeth shows Jason the timeline of Jake’s life in the drawings. She tells him that she and Franco wanted to see how he perceived himself. Jason thinks it looks normal.

Sam calls Alexis about helping with Scout so she can take a nap. Alexis says she doesn’t know if she can make it today. She says she keeps playing the Julian stuff over in her head. Sam suggests coming over to talk; she doesn’t want Alexis to be alone. Alexis tells her not to worry, and hints that she’s going to a meeting, as she opens a bottle of vodka. Probably Joe’s Vodka. Sam says the other girls told her that Alexis wasn’t doing very well, but she was handling it – one day at a time. There’s a knock at Sam’s door, and Sam tells Alexis to come by after her meeting. Alexis’s meeting is with a drink and Julian’s letter.

Elizabeth shows Jason the scarecrow in the book, and asks if he doesn’t think it’s worth exploring. He says he talked to the psychologist at the school, and Jake is doing fine. Why reopen an old wound? Franco says it’s just below the surface, waiting for the right trigger.

It’s Carly at Sam’s door. She was looking for Jason, but Sam invites her in to talk. Carly thinks her marriage is over.

Laura apologizes to Sonny. She asks if he wants to talk about it, but he says no thanks. He says he spoke to Dante about what happened at the custody hearing, and Diane is usually better than that. Laura says that Valentin outmaneuvered them. Sonny says he offered Dante help, but Dante turned him down. Laura says well, he is a cop, but he’s also proud, and she jokingly wonders where he gets it. Laura says she might take Sonny up on the offer though.

Scotty tells Ava to finish her drink before Lucy shows up. She asks if Lucy agreed to give him the pill bottle, and he says that’s the plan. Ava doesn’t want Sonny to be more suspicious than he already is. Scotty tells Ava that he has a radical plan to blindside Lucy. As he hustles Ava out of the restaurant, Lucy steps out of the elevator.

Franco says that Jason might not want to talk, but they have to. Jake has something he’s hiding. Elizabeth tells Jason to look at the drawings. She explains about the blank space that the scarecrow now resides in, and says that Jake claims he didn’t draw it. Franco says he knows it’s Jake’s drawing, and Jason asks if this was Franco’s idea. Elizabeth tells him about Jake saying that Sam is cursed. Jason wonders what he knows, and Elizabeth says that’s what she’s trying to find out. She thinks what happened to Sam triggered him, but Jason thinks that Franco is behind it.

Sonny tells Laura to name it. Laura tells him about the six months of limited visitation, after which Lulu can pursue custody. Sonny doesn’t think she’ll have a problem, but Laura says that Valentin is a master manipulator, and she needs to find his vulnerabilities. Sonny says he’ll get someone on it. Laura tells him about Nelle being Valentin’s new nanny.

Carly asks if Sam thinks she’s wrong to still feel betrayed. She says she can’t just forget because Sonny wants her to. Sam says no, and hers is the only opinion that counts. She asks what Carly wants. Carly says that she wants Morgan to be alive, and her life the way it used to be. She says her life was shattered, but she doesn’t think Sonny wants to put it back together.

Scotty tells Ava good-by, and she tells him to enjoy his lunch. Scotty sits down with Lucy, and tells her that she and Ava have a lot in common; they’re both protective of their children. Lucy points out that she doesn’t date her daughter’s boyfriends. She accuses Scotty of doing Ava’s dirty work.

Alexis kicks back with the letter and some booze. We hear Julian’s voice saying she’s better off without him and how much he loves her. Julian appears, and says he’d do it all over again. He’d do anything for her.

Lucy says there’s always an agenda with Scotty. He wants her to hear him out. She says Ava has him wrapped around her little finger, and Lucy knows he wants the pills. He says he’s not denying anything, and she’s shocked. He says he doesn’t like the little finger business, but she’s right on the money with everything else.

Alexis reaches for Julian. There’s’ a knock at the door, and he disappears. Alexis stupidly hides the bottle behind a throw pillow. It’s Ava. She says it’s about Julian. She asks if Alexis knows that Jordan called off the search, and Alexis says it feels like he’s still there. Ava says for her too; he comes to her in her dreams and she can’t accept he’s gone. She says they haven’t found his body because it’s not there to find. She wants to pool their resources to try and find him, and in the meantime, she finds the bottle. Worst. Hiding. Place. Ever.

Sonny is surprised that Valentin hired Nelle. He didn’t think she’d stay in Port Charles. Laura says they don’t know Nelle like he and Carly do. He says Nelle is bad news, and Laura shouldn’t have anything to do with her.

Carly tells Sam that it takes a lot for Sonny to apologize, and he expects it to be accepted because he’s arrogant as hell. Sam says none of the other women Sonny has ever been with are the answer. She’s right; he’s arrogant and Sam doesn’t get it. She says women see the dimples, but underneath, he’s complicated, even scary. She doesn’t think there’s another woman strong enough for him. Carly asks what if she’s not strong enough anymore?

Jason says Franco is using their son to play Elizabeth. Elizabeth is like, thanks a lot for thinking I’m an idiot, and tells him that her eyes are open. She realizes that he has reasons to mistrust Franco. Jason says he despises Franco. He tortured Sam, and Jason doesn’t care about the tumor that was removed; he is who he is. Elizabeth tells him that he’s ignoring medical fact, and Franco is there because she trusts him. Jason says the boys will pay the price, but Elizabeth says Franco has no reason to hurt them. Jason says that Franco wants to play the hero. Franco says that Jake has a problem that needs to be confronted, but Jason says not by Franco. Elizabeth says Franco is a part of their lives and household, and get used to it; he’s not going anywhere. Jason says maybe Jake should then. If Franco is going to be spending so much time there, maybe Jake shouldn’t.

Elizabeth asks if Jason is going to try to take her son if she doesn’t fall in line. He says if she chooses to have a relationship with Franco, that’s her business, but Jake was doing fine until Franco came along. If he’s the cause of Jake’s problems, Jason is going to handle it.

Scotty tells Lucy that it’s time to give the pills back. Lucy asks why she should, and he tells her think of the children. Lucy says she was trying to shield Kiki, but maybe she should know the truth. She says that Kiki and Ava have a relationship based on deception. Scotty asks if Serena would see it that way. She doesn’t like drama, and that’s probably why she hasn’t visited. She asks if he’s threatening to tell on her, and he says if she doesn’t like the prospect, maybe she should reconsider.

Ava says she’ll take Alexis to a meeting, and Alexis tells her to mind her own business. Ava says that Julian tried to help her, and this is how she repays him, with a bottle of vodka. Alexis tells Ava to deal with Julian’s death in her own way and so will she.

Sonny says Nelle’s interest always come first – to hurt Carly and her family. Laura asks if that includes Michael. She saw them talking, and when she asked Michael about Nelle, he said they used to be friends. She had the feeling something was left unfinished. Sonny says Michael gives Nelle more compassion than she deserves, but his family always comes first. Nelle used Morgan’s death to get at them, and Michael will never forgive her for that.

Carly tells Sam that she and Sonny always come back to each other, but maybe they can’t find their way this time. She says that Bobbie thinks she and Sonny have reached tipping point. She likes Sonny, just not with Carly. Sam can’t blame her. Carly wishes things would go back to the way they used to be. but it feels wrong.  As many times as they say they’ll never do it again, they do. Sam says it’s the marriage they have, but it doesn’t have to be the marriage she’s stuck with. A marriage is done when you’re done growing. Carly says maybe they’ve reached that point. Sam tells her that she’s admired them for years because their love is so strong. Carly needs to ask herself if she’s sure that they don’t have it in them to grow some more.

Elizabeth wonders why Jason thinks Franco is the problem. Franco tells her to look at the bright side; they didn’t get in a fist fight, and that represents progress. Elizabeth says it was disastrous, and thinks that Jason is on the verge of threatening war. Franco says that Jason loves Jake more than he hates Franco. He knows something is wrong. He’s never going to be their cheerleader, but so what? Elizabeth says for Jake’s sake, she needs him on board.

Scotty says that Sonny and Carly should go on with their lives. Lucy doesn’t believe he’s being moved by compassion. He says he knows her, and she always does the right thing so Serena will be proud of her. Lucy thinks there’s more than meets the eye. She says she’s a stand-up friend, and one friend who’s never hurt her is Sonny. She grabs a piece of bread, says “Ta!” and leaves.

Laura appreciates Sonny being candid and will take it to heart. She’ll do whatever it takes to protect her family. Sonny suggests a backup plan, since Nelle is a disaster waiting to happen. Laura says he’s still standing. Sonny says he doesn’t know if he has it in him to try again with Carly He loves her, but it’s like what they had isn’t there anymore. Laura tells him to dig deeper to find it, and make sure there’s nothing left before walking away.

Ava says she’s not going to let Alexis use Julian to start boozing it up again. Alexis says what she does with her life is none of Ava’s business. Ava asks her what life? and Alexis tells her to get out. Ava says she’s glad Julian’s not there to see what happened with his sacrifice; she’s not longer worth saving. Alexis guzzles some vodka, and Ava walks out.

Laura makes a phone call. She says that she thinks she knows how Nelle might prove useful.

Carly walks into Sonny’s house. He says he doesn’t like the way they left things, and she says she didn’t either. Sonny’s phone rings. It’s a real landline with a curly phone cord. He says he didn’t want to be interrupted, and then says send her up. I guess it’s literally the house phone.

Jason goes back home, and Sam tells him that he just missed Carly. Sam is worried about her. Jason says he was dropping Jake’s glove off. Something is wrong with Jake, and he doesn’t know what to do.

Franco tells Elizabeth that Jason will have to deal with Jake’s problem, whether he likes it or not. She’s afraid he’ll demand a new custody arrangement. She feels like she has to play along, and Franco asks what that means. Is she breaking up with him? She says no, but maybe they should hold off on him moving in for the time being. Franco says she’s gotta do what she’s gotta do, and she says that sorting things out with Jake is important. This isn’t what she wants, and Franco says, but it’s for the best. He tells her that if they’re doing this, they’d better get started, and leaves.

Alexis is passed out. Someone jiggles the door knob. She stumbles around and opens the door, thinking it’s Julian, but there’s no one there.

Ava comes back to the MetroCourt and sees Scotty sitting by himself. He says their business concluded early, and Lucy left, probably hungry. Ava asks if he got the pills, and he tells her to save the applause. There’s a problem.

Lucy is at Sonny’s door. He says that Max told him it’s something important. Lucy says she’s waited long enough and can’t wait another minute. She has the pill bottle in her hand.

Tomorrow, Tracy asks Ava for help, Valentin says he’s ready to make good on his promise to Alexis, and  Laura tells Lulu that Nelle could be the answer.

Vanderpump Rules

It’s wedding time! Harrison! Dog whose name I don’t know! Lisa takes her place at the podium, and the attendants begin to walk down the aisle. Butter and Gordo! Where’s Giggy? Omg, I love Katie’s vintage brooch bouquet so much. I’m coming very close to buying one for myself. They’re not as expensive as you might think on Etsy. In his interview, Tom says he knew Katie would look good, but didn’t know she’d look this good.

Lisa starts by saying she’s been married over thirty years, so she has some advice – run. She gives the couple a list of do’s and don’ts, including not texting while on tequila. Schwartz says his vows, at first pretending that he forgot them. He says he was resigned to being LA’s most ineligible bachelor until Katie came along. In her interview, Kristen talks about how obsessed he was with Katie. Schwartz says he can’t imagine not waking up next to her in the morning. He talks about having to tear the relationship down to rebuild it, and says he’s never loved her more. He gets all teary, and no surprise, Tom does too, wiping his eyes on poor Butter’s head. Or maybe it’s Gordo.

Katie talks about the love, laughter, and tears, and how they persevered. She can’t wait to spend her life with Schwartz. Jax insists he’s not crying, but he is. The rings are exchanged, and we flash back to the ring on a string. In her interview, Katie says this is the real deal – her happy ending. Lisa asks if they take each other for richer or richer. (Not a typo.) They say their “I do’s,” and Lisa pronounces them husband and wife. Katie says they’re married AF.

The reception begins. In her interview, Lisa says this group has a way of working things out that makes no sense to her, but makes sense to them. The Schwartzes arrive. In her interview, Stassi says everyone thought that she and Jax were the glue that held the group together, but it’s really Katie and Schwartz; she and Jax were just the glue everybody sniffed. Ha-ha! She cracks me up. Carter tells Kristen that he likes when she’s drunk and has wedding fever. In her interview, Kristen asks who doesn’t think about getting married when they’re at someone else’s wedding. That would be me. Dinner is served, and Stassi makes Lisa a plate, since she’s used to serving her. Giggy!

Lisa asks Tom about marrying Ariana. He wants to, but says he’s never made an attempt at proposing. Lisa says she was like Ariana when she was younger, not wanting to get married or have kids, but things change, and it was the best thing that she ever did. She talks to Tom about partnering up for a new restaurant. In his interview, Tom’s head explodes over Lisa thinking of him as a potential business partner.

Schwartz’s brother Billy takes the mic. Nothing to see here. Brother Bert thanks Jax and Tom for getting them to the wedding. Billy takes the mic again. Still nothing to see here. Tom talks about Schwartz rubbing him the wrong way – said no one ever. He goes on about how wonderful Schwartz is. Stassi talks about them taking care of her a million times, and reminds me of a couple I was friends with in my single days, who talked me down many a time. In her interview, Katie says the wedding wouldn’t have felt complete without Stassi.

Time to drink and dance. Jax and Brittany step away from the crowd. Jax says he doesn’t think things are going well for them anymore. Because he’s the biggest idiot on the planet. Next to Lulu on GH. He says he loves her as a person, and then tells her that he’s kidding, . Because he’s still the biggest idiot on the planet. In her interview, Brittany says he was thisclose to having his weenie fed to the chickens. He says a wedding is going to happen; he just doesn’t know when. In his interview, he says she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to him, and when the times comes, she’ll be the one. He wants her to know there’s light at the end of the tunnel, but IMO that’s debatable.

Lisa asks Katie when she’s having children. Good Lord, give her a minute. Scheana suggests that Ariana have a reception without actually getting married. At the bar, various guests toast to Katie and Schwartz. Tom tells Ariana about Lisa’s proposition. He says he’s been a bartender for ten years, and has always wanted to open his own place. He points out how happy and supportive Ken and Lisa are as a couple, and says he looks at Ariana the same way. In his interview, he says he’d love to be a dad someday. He tells Ariana not to worry, he’s not going to propose, but wonders if someday they’ll get married. In her interview, she says she loves him, but doesn’t know if marriage is something she wants. She’s not going to shoot him down yet though.

The cake is cut. Schwartz puts icing on Katie’s nose. Thank God they didn’t do that smushing the cake in each other’s faces thing. I hate that, and once saw a bride run to the bathroom in tears after the jackass she married did that to her. Although overall, it was the worst wedding I ever attended. Her father officiated, and forgot what state the wedding was in during his speech. That wouldn’t have been so bad, but looking back, I was sure it was a sign. The room was adjacent to a bar where there was a football game on TV, so every time the people at the bar made noise, we heard it. Because there was no music to drown it out. And it was a cash bar. Not even one “free” drink. And the wine was served in what I would call a juice glass, aka tiny. It was also the day after Christmas. I’ll stop now, since I’m getting the shakes just thinking about it. Scheana has barely seen Shay since the ceremony, and wonders what’s up. Lisa talks to Tom about Schwartz being “the face” of the new bar. She says he’d do a great job as a front man, and Tom could deal with what she does. She thinks they should call it Tom Tom, but doesn’t know if that will be a good idea when she’s sober. Schwartz joins them, and Lisa tells him about the new property, and how she and Ken want Tom to be involved, as well as for him to be the face.

Commercial break with important information. Southern Charm starts again next Monday, April 3.

Schwartz asks if Lisa is serious. He’s concerned that if it fails, it will be on them. In his interview, Tom says one whiff of responsibility and Schwartz runs. Lisa says almost the same thing, that he’s allergic to commitment. Since he already made a big one today, she says she’ll talk to him on Monday. Tom asks if Schwartz is busy in three months, and if not, why not open up a new bar with Lisa Vanderpump? Schwartz says he realizes that he’s over-thinking it, and Tom agrees.

Stassi asks if Ariana still thinks she’s annoying. In her interview, Stassi says she likes Ariana (why, I’m not sure), and it hurts her feelings when Ariana is mean to her. She asks Ariana if she’s closing herself off. In her interview, Ariana says she doesn’t have to be friends with Stassi. She tells Stassi that she’s doing the best that she can. She suddenly starts crying, saying she’s trying not to be a 30 year old bartender who’s doing nothing. Stassi says that’s not who she is, and that she shouldn’t feel sad about feeling sad. It’s okay to have emotions. Stassi tells her that nobody is great all the time, and you’re not a human being if you’re not sad sometimes. They manage to connect somewhat, and in her interview, Ariana has to admit that Stassi isn’t a monster.

More dancing! And Tom has another surprise. He’s brought his trumpet. Oh, yay, drunk trumpet playing. The sax player asks Tom not to play in his ear. Everyone is all happy and buzzed, and Shay finally shows up. Schwartz says that Jax and Tom are like family. He’d take a bullet for them. Maybe in the leg. Stassi wonders what it’s like to have someone love you that much. Katie says it’s amazing, and there’s someone out there for her. The Three Stooges Jax, Tom, and Schwartz talk about what great friends they are. Geez, without Kristen putting the boxing gloves on, weddings are pretty boring in La La Land. Kristen does announce that she’s not ovulating though.

Giggy and Harrison! Lisa signs the marriage certificate. Schwartz says it’s official now, and Lisa tells them, off you go. Katie says they’re very committed, and it would be way too easy to make a joke here. Lisa says thank God it’s over, and Ken gives her props for her officiating.

Three months later. Scheana gets together with Lisa at Villa Rosa. Scheana tells her that she’s found out some things about Shay recently. He goes MIA and doesn’t answer her calls. She says he hasn’t been at the apartment once in two weeks. Everything is not rainbows and sunshine like she’s been telling people. He’s with his parents, and Lisa says it’s been bullsh*t since she found out about Shay taking pills. In her interview, Lisa says she thinks Scheana knew in her gut that there was a problem, but didn’t want to admit it. Scheana tells Lisa that Shay has been taking Adderall for months. One of her friends had pulled her aside and let her know he’d been scoring pills, but saying he was just the middleman. She started checking his emails, and discovered that the bank account had been cleaned out. She says she can’t picture her life without him, but can’t picture it moving forward. Lisa asks if they connect at all, even in bed, and Scheana shakes her head. Lisa tells her that she’s young enough to start again. Scheana says they were talking about starting a family, but Lisa says you can’t start a family with someone who isn’t there. Scheana is going to meet with a lawyer because she’s done. She wants Shay to be able to look her in the eye and say he’s not doing drugs.

Scheana waits for Shay at the apartment. He asks what’s up, and she notices he’s gotten his ears pierced. She wants to know why he didn’t come home. He says that he wanted to figure some things out, not involving anyone else. He says he loves her, but she doesn’t listen, and now he got her attention. He wants to be happy, but can’t do it without her. She says the relationship isn’t good, and he says he’s been labeled a druggie, and no one treats him with respect. She asks if he’s on drugs, and he tells her no. He complains that she doesn’t treat him with respect either. She tells him that she talked to Lisa, and he says he has his own mother, and that Lisa should talk to her own kids. He says Scheana isn’t taking care of him the way she should, but she says he’s never home. He talks about the studio, and how productive things are there, and she wonders how they’re up all night without drugs. She asks about the bank account, and he insists he’s just buying music stuff. In her interview, she says she may never know the truth, but this isn’t the man she married. She tells him this really needs to be done, and she’s meeting with a lawyer. She says divorce isn’t easy, and wasn’t what she wanted. They both start crying, and she says he knows she’s right. He nods, and she tells him to get his stuff. In her interview, she says she’d planned on spending the rest of her life with him, growing old and having kids with him, and all she knows is that they’re done. Shay packs. The door closes behind him. This is really kind of sad.

Next time, the reunion, and the return of Lala. Godzilla with a cat eye.

🎉 And at another wedding on New Year’s Eve, 2010…

Giggy&amp;GrandmaWrinkles

March 21, 2017 – Finn Makes a Decision, Wrong Loving is Back & More Hong Kong Hijinks

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Obrecht complains about Finn’s leave of absence. She asks Hayden what the reason is.

Tracy calls out for Finn. No answer. She starts to call security, and then says never min. Finn walks in with a bottle of wine, and asks what she’s doing there. She says she has a better question – how much Zen Zen did he shoot tonight?

Michael and Dante talk about Olivia-J, and Michael thanks him for hunting her down. Dante says Carly and Sonny had her at gunpoint when he got there, but must have realized killing her would only make things worse for their family. Michael says they got justice for Morgan, and now have to face what’s left of their lives.

Bobbie asks Carly if she ever returns texts. Carly apologizes for forgetting they were supposed to meet. She went to see Jason and the baby, and also saw Sonny. She tells Bobbie they kissed, and Bobbie asks if they’re reconciling. Carly says they’re the only ones who understand one another, but that doesn’t mean they should be together. Bobbie brings up Nelle sleeping with Sonny, but Carly is more concerned about the lies and that he left them wide open to Nelle’s machinations.

Nelle explains to Nina that she had to put her teaching degree on hold due to finances, but she was working as a teacher’s aide.

Valentin tells Anna that she’s interfering with the happiness and future of his family, and if she doesn’t back off he’ll remove her. She takes this as a threat, and he says he means he’ll remove her presence from his life. He says if warring nations can call a truce, they can too. She says he sounds reasonable, but that’s one of his talents, presenting something outrageous and making it sound rational. She says peace and ignorance are two different things. She wants the truth and won’t stop until she gets it.

Nina is amazed at Nelle’s experience, but says being a nanny is different. Nelle says it is, but you still need the same skills, and she can also provide tutorial help. Nina asks why she quit so abruptly. Nelle says she didn’t exactly quit, and Nina asks why she was fired.

Michael tells Dante about Sonny’s lying. Dante asks what’s up with Michael. Michael says he’s focused on getting Josslyn through it, but Dante is talking about Nelle. Michael tells him that a lot of people got hurt, but he’s the least of the damage.

Bobbie tells Carly that they always end up together again. Maybe there’s a reason, or maybe it’s the tipping point; time will tell. Carly thinks maybe she deserves it, but Bobbie says it’s Nelle’s fault. Carly says she keeps trying to make sense of everything and find something real, and all she can come up with Is that she’s a hypocrite. She wonders if it’s karma and payback for what she did to Bobbie.

Valentin calls Anna’s memory loss a pretense and a mind game. Anna says why she would do that. She says they have a past, but he goes out of his way not to talk about it. Just tell her what she needs to know and they’ll be done with it. He says he almost believes her, and to ask him anything. She asks why she put out a kill order against him.

Tracy asks if Finn is ignoring the question. He says she ignored his, and asks again why she’s there. She asks if he took Zen Zen, and he asks if it looks like it. She asks about the mess, and he tells her that it was the last of his supply and he fumbled it away. She says maybe he saved his own life. She asks for drink, and he shoves one at her. She asks when he’s checking into rehab, and he says no room at the inn. Tracy offers to pull some strings, but he says he’s changed his mind. He’s not a group therapy kind of guy, and needs to do it alone on his terms. Tracy calls him asinine.

Elizabeth tells Obrecht that Finn is working on an article about his cure a prestigious medical journal. Obrecht says it didn’t take long for his ego to kick in. Elizabeth says when he comes back, maybe he’ll be a better doctor, and Obrecht says that by this time next year he’ll probably be on a book tour. Obrecht leaves, and Hayden thanks Elizabeth. Elizabeth says she’s there if Hayden needs her.

Anna tells Valentin that a kill order was issued in her name, and he owes her the truth. Valentin gets angry, saying he owes her nothing. He could have pressed charges or left her for dead, but didn’t. He just wants to forget her. She says she would never have done something like that unless he flipped, and asks if he was working for the DVX.

Nina says Nelle seems capable, but she doesn’t want to get in the middle of a disagreement between Nelle and Carly. Nelle understands. Charlotte shows them her puzzle and thanks Nelle for helping her. Nelle starts to leave and thanks Nina for the dress. Nina tells her wait. She says obviously Charlotte loves her, and she would be an asset for her starting school, so let’s do an interview. She’ll need to know whoever takes care of Charlotte on a personal level, and Nelle asks what she has in mind.

Bobbie tells Carly they put all that to rest years ago. Carly says she never understood how Bobbie must have felt until now. She and Tony were trying to rebuild their marriage, and never got back together. Bobbie says they separated because of what happened, but other things came up and they made wrong choices. He lashed out at the world, and she was trying to make peace. Carly asks if Bobbie is saying that she should forgive Nelle, but Bobbie says that’s different. Nelle isn’t her flesh and blood, and the sooner Carly puts Nelle out of her mind, the better. She tells Carly about Nelle having been at the MetroCourt earlier, and how she told her to get out before she called security to put her out. Carly says looks like security might get a second chance, as Nelle steps out of the elevator.

Elizabeth finds Hayden in her office. She wants to explain why she intervened. She didn’t want Hayden to be blindsided. She says that she knows it not easy, and Hayden knows where to find her if she needs anything. Hayden asks her to stay.

Tracy asks Finn why he thinks he can just quit. He says since he’s been cured of the disease, he’s better able to quit. She says it doesn’t look like it, since it’s been weeks already. Finn says he doesn’t want to be in a program that will box him in; he’ll lose his mind and be back where he started. Tracy asks if the plan is to drink himself into a stupor for 28 days, and he thinks that sounds good. He asks her to leave him alone and says she can’t help him. Tracy says Hayden can. Finn doesn’t want her to see him like this, but Tracy says she loves him, and to let her in or let somebody in. He says she’s the last person who should be giving relationship advice.

Michael tells Dante that he can sidestep a hostile takeover, but didn’t see Nelle coming. He should have known better and was too trusting. Dante says what’s the solution, being a cynic and building walls? Michael says he doesn’t know how to feel. Nelle said she wanted a fresh start, and for a moment, he wanted to believe her. Dante asks if he does, and Michael says it doesn’t matter. She did what she did, and everyone is hurting

Bobbie tells Carly that she’s going to take out the trash. Nelle says she doesn’t want any trouble. Nina pops out with Charlotte, saying there’s a child present. Carly says she’ll be glad to tell her why Nelle was terminated, but it’s not for little ears. Nelle takes Charlotte aside. Nina says she doesn’t know what’s going on, but she needs a nanny. Carly says hiring Nelle will be the worst mistake she’s ever made.

Valentin asks if Anna’s selective memory allows her to remember that she was a double agent. She can project that he’s responsible, but it’s really on her. She asks if something as insignificant as a rebuffed kiss made him sell out, and he says she’s either lying about the cruelest thing she ever did, or she’s blocking it out. She says he’s the liar with a charming exterior. He tells her that she’s bleeding.

Carly tells Nina that she fired Nelle because she slept with her husband. Her real name is Benson, and all the time she spent making herself indispensable, she was setting Carly up because of a grudge. Nina says sorry, but Charlotte loves her. Carly says so did Josslyn. Bobbie says Lulu isn’t going to have it, and Nina says she doesn’t care about Lulu’s opinion. Bobbie says Lulu is Charlotte’s mother, and if Nina doesn’t care enough to protect Charlotte from Nelle, she will. Nelle tells Nina to forget about the interview, and Nina says she’s hired.

Hayden tells Elizabeth that she knows Finn has challenges ahead and she’s been a classic enabler. Elizabeth says she loves him, and Hayden says she even used that, but no matter what she said or did, he refused to get help and pushed her away. She says he didn’t want her support, and said he had to deal with it alone, so she let him go, but hasn’t seen him since. Elizabeth says she thought it was up to her to get Lucky to see the light, but it wasn’t; his father got through to him. Hayden says Finn has no one else, and Elizabeth says you never know who will get through. She has to make peace with the fact that person may not be her.

Finn asks what Tracy’s marriage track record is. She doesn’t see what that has to do with it. He says she has a family business that she keeps chasing, although they keep firing her. He lists her faults, concluding with there’s no mark like rich lonely woman who didn’t get over daddy issues. She throws her wine in his face.

Finn apologizes for going too far, and says that he was just trying to push her away. He didn’t mean what he said. Tracy says he did, and most of it is true. She says her circle is limited. She never took much stock in friendships, and thought going it alone was the way to go, but alone is alone. Stephen Sondheim also pointed this out in Being Alive. Tracy says that most of her family is gone. The number of Christmas cards has diminished, and when she lies in bed at night, she wonders what her life would have been like had she let more people in. She asks if that’s what he wants.

Michael asks Dante how he could ever trust Nelle. She succeeded in breaking up their home. Dante says in playing devil’s advocate, he’s seen Michael sacrifice his own needs for the needs of his family over and over. If he decides to kick Nelle to the curb, do it for himself and no one else.

Bobbie is like, wait until Lulu hears. Nina tells Nelle that she’s Charlotte’s nanny provisionally. One lie or slip-up, and she’s out. She suggests taking Charlotte for hot chocolate, and of course she’ll have to meet Valentin. Nelle takes Charlotte out, and Bobbie says if Nina did this to spite her, the joke is on her. If Nelle ends up in bed with Valentin, she only has herself to blame. Carly tells Nina that when you lose your temper, it doesn’t make for the best decisions. Nina says she hired Nelle because she has an applicable background, and Charlotte loves her. Given the chance, people can change. Nina points out that hit happened with her and Carly. Carly says she was able to rebuild her life because someone gave her the benefit of the doubt. Nina says maybe someone should do the same for Nelle. Carly tells her that maybe she’s right, but maybe not, and to watch her back. What bugs me about Bobbie is that she’s so self-righteous and has no reason to be. She seemed gleeful coming at Nina, and I’m not liking that.At least Carly thinks about things.

Anna tells Valentin it’s just a cut, and Valentin says just a cut doesn’t bleed like that. Anna says it does if you’re on blood thinners, and tells him that she has cancer. She says it’s treatable, but not curable, and he asks if she’s up for challenge. She begs him to just tell her the truth. He says no, and starts to leave. She stops him, and he tells her that if she wants peace of mind, to forget they were ever in each other’s lives. On the porch, he’s obviously disturbed by the news.

Anna makes a phone call, saying she knows this is the last person they expected to hear from, but she has something important to talk about. For a moment, I wonder if she’s talking to Faison, but then I remember he’s on the lam and no one knows where he is.

Finn tells Tracy that he’d ask forgiveness, but he doesn’t deserve it. Tracy says being alone seems like a good idea, but it’s really sad. He has a woman who loves him and wants to share his struggles as well as his victories. The choice is his. She leaves ,and he picks up the phone.

Hayden thanks Elizabeth for listening and for the advice. She doesn’t want to hug though. Ha-ha! Elizabeth leaves, and Hayden’s phone rings. It’s Finn. He says he was wrong, and can’t do it alone. He needs her help.

Nina tells Valentin about Mrs. Evans’ sister, and says she quit abruptly. She says perfect candidate walked in, but if she catches her near his bed, she’ll strangle her.

Bobbie moans that first Lulu loses Charlotte to Valentin, and now Nelle is her nanny. Carly says the bright side is that with Nelle holed up on Spoon Island, she’ll be far away from their family.

Nelle and Charlotte go into Kelly’s. Nelle locks eyes with Michael.

Valentin asks Nina what he should know, and Nina says she’ll explain it later. She asks where he was, and he tells her that he was with Anna. He went to tell her that he wants to put history to rest, and offered a truce for the sake of his family. He meant what he said; she and Charlotte are all that matters, and the past where it belongs – in the past.

Obrecht comes into Anna’s house, saying she doesn’t really do house calls. Anna says she doesn’t need treatment; she needs answers.

Tomorrow, Laura wonders if Doc agrees with Andre, Obrecht thinks Anna must be hard up to ask her for help, and Nelle asks if Michael forgives her.

If Loving You is Wrong

When we left, there was a shootout at Rusty’s place, and Virginia was dangling the baby over the water where the gators live. She drops him into the water, and one of the cops shoots her. Lushion grabs Alex, and a bunch of guys go in to save the baby. As usual, Eddie acts like an a-hole, and Steven tells him to back off. Randal gets in his face, and he says Randal would be swinging from a tree if it wasn’t for him. Randal runs to the water.

Steven calls for an ambulance while Alex freaks out. Brad brings the baby to shore, and Lushion does baby CPR. The baby starts to cry, and even Steven looks happy. He has Alex warm the baby in a jacket. She thanks him.

Eddie grabs Brad and asks what’s wrong with him. He could have gotten rid of that thing. He says it’s no time to get soft, but Brad walks away from him. Alex goes with Steven to take the baby to the ambulance, while Randal harasses her the whole way. She gives the baby to an EMT. She says only one of them can go along, but they both want to go. Lushion is about to take Randal away, when the EMT tells them it’s okay.

Lushion says the FBI guys have the clean-up; it’s out of his jurisdiction. Eddie accuses him of being undercover FBI. Lushion tells him the drugs are making him paranoid. Eddie says that every time Lushion is around, the FBI shows up. He wants to know how that happens. He says he smells undercover all over him. Lushion says he thought the same thing about Eddie, but knows Eddie isn’t FBI material. Lushion tells him get out of his face. Eddie questions him about Claudia. Lusion asks how he got there, and Eddie says Steven asked him to back up Andrew, but he hasn’t seen him. He says he showed up at the crime scene, but there was no Andrew, and if he hadn’t shown up there, there would have been two more victims. Lushion gets loud, saying if he was FBI, he’d be checking the woods and lake for a missing officer. Eddie says that Lushion thinks he’s slick. Lushion says Eddie isn’t good enough to be FBI, but if he was Eddie he’d watch himself and make sure his tracks are covered. Eddie says he’s watching everything. Lesion says he’s always been right behind Eddie, watching. And I’m watching these two watching.

Lushion calls Steven over, saying they’ve already lost two officers, Pete and Andrew. Steven says he’s working on a whole cartel. Lushion wants to take Eddie down, but Steven says he’s getting a lot of heat about the cartel. He wants Eddie too, but they can’t blow this now. Lushion has to trust him.

At the station, Esperanza asks if the 911 operator has heard from the officers who went out, but she hasn’t. Kelly calls about Ramses. She says something happened at his house. She asks if Esperanza knows an officer named Rick, and tells her that he’s there now. She explains that he came after Travis harassed her, and Travis said something about Ramsey not coming back. She called Lushion about a restraining order, and he sent Rick. Rick went into Ramsey’s house and hasn’t told her what’s going on. Esperanza wonders why Kelly keeps involving herself in crazy stuff. Well, that’s because she’s a character in a Tyler Perry show. Esperanza can’t make any promises, but she’s on her way. Marcie is with Kelly, but Esperanza has no information on Brad either.

The EMT asks what happened. Alex says Virginia got what was coming to her, and Randal says yeah, a bullet between the eyes. The crazy bitch who did this burns in hell now. Randal tries to talk to Alex, but she isn’t having it. He wants to go to the hospital in Maxine, but the EMT says it’s three hours. He asks if it’s safe enough to go that far, and that he’ll be cutting it close. He has a court date and it’s important. What an a-hole! I hate Randal so much.

Alex can’t believe it. Randal says if his mother isn’t up and walking around, he promises her she doesn’t know what hell is. Alex says that she heard something and went to check the house, and Louise was unconscious. He asks if that’s the story she’s practicing, and Alex says that’s what she saw. He asks if she even called the cops. She doesn’t say anything, and he says he guesses that’s fair. He goes on about Alex letting everything bad in the world happen.

Joey opens his eyes. He tells his mother she should go home. Natalie asks how he feels, and he says not good. She tells him that he got shot, and he asks what happened to Quan. She says he’s dead, and Joey asks if he killed him. She says yes, and he tells her that he just wanted Quan to leave him alone. Natalie says he would have killed Joey. Joey starts to cry, and Natalie tells him not to stress himself; he’s alive. The doctors said he might not make it and wanted her to donate his organs. He says he doesn’t want to die, and she says he won’t. He says he’s in a lot of pain, but she tells him that’s to be expected. He tells her how sorry he is, and she says that when he gets out, she’ll kick his ass.

Joey asks about Faun, but Natalie doesn’t know. He asks if she got shot, and Natalie tells him that she did. He cries some more, and asks if she’s all right. Natalie says she’s been with him and doesn’t know. He says he needs to know how she is, and asks Natalie to find out.

In the hallway, Tilda asks Natalie if Joey killed her son. She says Quan didn’t shoot Joey, and she had to identify his body. Natalie says sorry, but Tilda says she doesn’t know what sorry is. She says Joey won’t live long – if he makes it. Natalie says if harm comes to Joey, she’ll die defending his ass. She says Tilda forgot who she is and to get out of her face. Tilda says that Natalie’s broke ass can’t say anything. Natalie asks how much she has, and Tilda says millions. Natalie says she earned it on her back and knees better than on feet in burger joint. Natalie tells her that her mother would be disgusted. Tilda says that Natalie thinks she knows her, and Natalie says she doesn’t, but she clearly doesn’t know herself. Tilda tells Natalie that she’ll be back, and Natalie tells Tilda not to threaten her. Tilda says if she has to identify her son’s body, so will Natalie. An eye for an eye. They almost tussle, but Lushion steps in.

Lushion asks what the hell that was about. Natalie says nothing she can’t handle. Lushion says he can’t leave her for a second, and asks about Joey. Natalie says he’s awake, and she was about to call Jackie because he wanted to know what happened to Faun. Natalie asks about Alex, Randal and the baby. Lushion tells her that they’re all fine, and goes into Joey’s room.

Lushion asks how Joey is feeling, and Joey says not good. Lushion says he knows the feeling. Joey says he killed Quan, and Lushion says he knows. Joey says he killed his best friend and didn’t mean to, and starts to cry. Lushion says it’s okay. Joey asks about Faun, and Lushion says Natalie is checking on her. Joey can’t believe any of this, and Lushion says what happened, happened, but the most important thing is that he’s okay. Joey asks why him. Lushion says sometimes things just happen; you have enemies you don’t even know about. He says Joey is a good kid, and he wouldn’t have shot Quan if he hadn’t come at him. Joey says he was just trying to protect Faun. He knew she should have had all that money with her, and explains that she made the deposits for the restaurant. Lushion asks if he knew they were trying to rob her, and says that if Joey hadn’t had the gun, things could have turned out differently. Quan was waiting for her. He tells Joey not to beat himself up about it. Joey says he keeps seeing Quan’s face, and Lushion says it will get better. Joey says he violated probation, and he’s going to jail now, but Lushion says they’ll take care of it later. Just rest.

The doctor tells Randal and Alex that the baby is okay. Randal wants to see his son, but Alex wants him to go home. The doctor says it’s not a good time, but she’ll keep them updated. Alex tells Randal that her parents are dead. He says they ruined her ass. He asks if she really doesn’t love him anymore, and I laugh. Boy, talk about not being able to get a hint. Alex says he really doesn’t get it? and he says he does. He says she played the only card she had, and now it’s his turn. He’s calling his lawyer right now, and taking “RJ.” He gets loud, saying that she set this up, and she can’t be a good mother from prison. She gets in his face and says she’ll never give him her child. He says that’s okay, the courts will, once she’s in jail. If looks could kill the both of them would be dead. They wait. Randal gets all smug looking. I always want to wipe that look off of his face.

Back in Maxine, Esperanza sees Officer Rick. She asks what’s going on, and he says he can’t talk about it. She asks if he always does everything by the book, and just tell her, but he’s not budging. She asks where Steven is, and says she can’t get ahold of anybody. She asks if he can tell her anything, but he says sorry. She wants to take a look at the scene and he says as long as it’s behind the tape. She goes inside Alex’s house

She tells Kelly she doesn’t know what’s going on. Marcie asks about Brad, but all she knows is that there are officers at the scene. Marcie wants to go there, saying that it’s taking too long. Esperanza says she should be resting – they all should be resting. Esperanza says she’ll wake the kids for school, and promises that someone will call her when there’s news.

Kelly looks out the window and gets upset. She says the coroner is out there. She starts crying, and says she can’t do this. Marcie goes outside. Kelly follows.

Marcie introduces herself to Officer Rick, and Kelly asks him what’s going on. He says there’s been a homicide. She asks if it’s Ramsey, and he tells her that they haven’t identified the body. He suggests she come to the station, but Kelly says she has to deal with getting the kids to school and her work day. Rick asks her to come after work. She’s verging on hysteria, saying no, no, no. He shows her a picture, and asks if that’s him. She says yes, and Rick tells her that he’s sorry, Ramsey is dead. Kelly weeps, saying too bad she liked him.

Next time, Travis confronts Kelly at the station, Randal looks for his mother, and Steven asks Eddie where Andrew is.

🙉 I swear to you, they claimed there would be a new episode of Too Close to Home afterward, but it was an old episode of Greenleaf. A show I’d love to watch, but don’t have the time for. This was just as well, as I love Imposters, and was able to catch this week’s episode on the first airing. Every week, it’s like a new layer to the intrigue gets added.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Erika wonders why Dorit would even bring up the pill thing if she didn’t think it was part of LisaR’s behavior. Dorit says that Erika is interrupting, and Erika says she talks too much. Dorit says Erika doesn’t talk enough, and Erika says she talks important sh*t, while Dorit talks boring sh*t, and too much of it. Dorit asks what Erika’s problem is with her, and at first, Erika lies and says she doesn’t have one. Then she says her problem is that Dorit is full of it, and she has no tolerance for BS. Dorit asks why Erika didn’t just say so, and Erika says she just did.

Erika says Dorit needs validation and is desperate for her attention. Dorit says that Erika isn’t even nice, so why would she want her attention? Erika says that Dorit doesn’t know her, and Dorit says she’s just giving her opinion. Erika asks if Dorit thinks she’s going to like her after everything that happened with the underwear. In her interview, Dorit says she thought they were past that, and we flash back to the both of them saying they’re done with Pantygate. Erika says she took something innocent and made it seem like Erika did it on purpose to get PK’s attention. In her interview, Dorit says she’s done nothing to Erika. Dorit says she never claimed that Erika did it on purpose, and LisaR – who can’t stand not putting in her two cents anymore – says that she did. Dorit says giving Erika the underwear was for a laugh, and she laughed. In her interview, LisaV says that Dorit wanted to bring levity to the situation. Dorit says she’s sorry, and Erika says it did hurt her feelings. She has them whether Dorit believes it or not. Erika says there’s truth in joking, and although Dorit thinks she’s cold, she agrees. She says she certainly doesn’t vie for Erika’s attention, and Erika says don’t talk to her at all then. Because we’re in middle school. LisaR says that Dorit should apologize for her husband looking, and Dorit says he’s a male. In her interview, Eileen says she wouldn’t expect Vincent to ever stare. Who knows unless confronted with the situation? Dorit tells LisaR to get out of her face, and Lisa says f-u. Dorit says she’s sorry everyone made such a big deal, and those participating in the argument throw up their hands. Dorit is like what do you want? LisaV interjects that she thought it was a joke. In her interview, Lisa says it’s a bit of a pile on, and if they felt that way should have said so at the time. LVP, always the voice of reason. Dorit says she wasn’t out to hurt Erika’s feelings, and Erika says, but you did Blanche! In her interview, Erika says what she doesn’t like is BS, and that’s what this is. She says Dorit is out to defame her. Honestly, I wouldn’t go that far.

They dock and Erika has a moment. She tells LisaV that she’s okay, and Lisa tells her that she doesn’t have to be. In her interview, LisaV says she doesn’t quite understand It, but the ice queen seems to be melting. Erika dries her tears. Kyle says there’s a lot going on because Erika doesn’t take crying lightly and doesn’t do it often. Erika takes a car back with LisaR, Eileen and Eden. The girls tell Erika how pretty she looks when she cries. Eileen seems to think acknowledgement of hurt feelings would have helped, ubt Erika says she’d have to mean it. Well, yeah.

Dorit says Erika has a glam squad who follows her and it’s gone to her head. She, LisaV, and Kyle are walking back. Lisa doesn’t get what the wall is for, and Kyle says it’s the way Erika was raised. Kyle sees Chanel and angels sing.

Back at the hotel. Erika apologizes, and the others are like, don’t do that. I agree, even though I’m not totally on her side. No one should every apologize for crying. Erika thanks Eileen for being supportive. She makes a joke about crying. Then they joke about being on vacation.

Dorit calls PK and asks about the kids. She says she’s dying, being away from them and PK. She tells PK that Hong Kong has proven to be a confessional, and tells him about the boat trip. She says that Erika thinks she’s desperate for her friendship, and PK laughs. He thinks Erika must be delusional. Dorit says that Erika has been holding resentment since Pantygate.

The girls meet for breakfast. Erika makes a point of ignoring Dorit. They’re going to see the giant Buddha. Erika says it’s 245 steps, and they’ll get in their cardio. In her interview, LisaR says Dorit is being a downer…like this one, and holds up a pill. BA-DUM-CHH! LisaV is hoping it will be a calming, spiritual experience. Fat chance with this group. Splitting into two groups again, they get in some sky cars that have clear bottoms. Cool! Kyle won’t look, Dorit keeps picking her feet up and squeaking. LisaV wants to rock the car, reminding me of my trip to Roosevelt Island with an old boyfriend, who also thought that would be amusing to do on the tram. The other car is totally calm. They see the Buddha on top of the mountain, and it’s breathtaking.

That is a lot of steps. It’s raining, and I’m guessing they were given ponchos and umbrellas, because they all look the same. Erika is depressed that her shoes are ruined. They spy a cow, and of course LisaV has to check him out. Kyle takes pictures.

At the Buddha place, there’s a fire where you light these long, thin tapers and say a prayer. Eileen says that her expectations have grown smaller. Where once she would have prayed for world peace, not she’s just wants Hong Kong peace among the chicks. Kyle checks in on Mauricio, who is having his eyebrows brushed by Portia. The trek is made up the steps. Kyle thinks it has to have some impact on these women. It’s huge. What a beautiful place.

Dorit has brought her makeup artist, which is funny considering what she said about Erika. She’s rocking a Madonna Blond Ambition ponytail. She talks about how Erika and lisaR weren’t talking to her at the Buddha, and feeling like she was among mean girls. Erika says she’s channeling Samurai Barbie, and Eileen looks like a glamourous babe from an old vampire movie. All in black,  form-fitting black cocktail dress with a black choker, red lipstick, pale, and hair like Veronica Lake. LisaR says it’s bad luck to toast with water, and it’s downhill from here.

Eden feels like there’s an elephant at the table, and LisaR asks if Dorit apologized. LisaV says that’s between them, and Erika says she hasn’t apologized. She tells LisaV not to minimize her feelings. In her interview, Lisa says if she laughed it off to begin with, none of this would have happened. Dorit asks what she was supposed to do, and Erika says shut her mouth or bring it to her privately. Dorit says she doesn’t remember insinuating anything. In her interview, LisaR doesn’t believe her, although she makes sure to tell us that when it’s herself, she really doesn’t remember. LisaR asks if Dorit trusts her husband. Dorit says implicitly, but Lisa insists she was threatened by Erika. Kyle is shocked. She can’t believe Lisa is talking about Dorit’s husband when they just got through how mistaken she was about Kim. She also mentions how crazy Lisa got when Kim suggested they talk about Lisa’s husband when they were in Holland.

Commercial break. The jury is in for Sweet Home Oklahoma. I like it.

LisaR tells Kyle to shut up, and says Dorit was threatened by Erika flashing. Erika wonders why there’s no deference to her, since she’s married too, and she doesn’t need a reputation. LisaR says it’s deeper than this, because she’s a clinical psychologist. She asks what was really going on; she wants to know what happened. Erika says she was made out to be a whore, or whatever adjective you want to use, but she’s the one who has to live with it. Dorit says that wasn’t her intention, but Erika says that’s the result. In her interview, Erika says she’ll have to explain it to Tom, and people would rather go for the sensationalism. Erika says it’s only funny when it dies in the moment. Maybe it’s me, but I don’t think Dorit is the one who kept it going.

Dorit says she didn’t realize and feels badly. Erika is like, now you thought about it, and tells her to apologize to Tom and then they’ll be square. Dorit says okay, but that’s not good enough, and Erika says she wants Dorit’s husband to apologize to Tom. I’m thinking Tom would either laugh about how ridiculous this is, or not care. Dorit says she can only speak for herself. She’s not going to tell PK what to do. Erika says she would go to her husband and say she did something wrong and needs help fixing it. LisaR tries to insert herself into the dialog, and Dorit tells her she’s trying to have a conversation with Erika. Eileen is practically holding Lisa back and Lisa keeps shouting for them to listen. Dorit tells her please, and Lisa just won’t shut up. Erika says this sucks. Dorit says she’s extremely sorry, and she didn’t mean to hurt Erika’s feelings, she swears on her mother’s life. Eileen says she didn’t mean it maliciously (exactly), and asks what she wants; Dorit didn’t kill her child. Erika gets all crazy about this remark and says to never bring up her kid again. Eileen says it’s just a figure of speech. Erika says Eileen’s kid doesn’t put on a uniform, and to shut the f up. Well.

Erika gets unreasonable and says no one knows what she goes through every night. Her kid isn’t out there, and f-u. Eileen keeps apologizing, and Kyle says it’s like someone took over Erika’s body. Erika keeps repeating don’t talk about her kid, and cries into her napkin. She says never criticize his choice, and bangs on the table. LisaR asks if she wants to leave, but Erika says no. Eileen tries to take a moment to honor Erika’s son, and Erika says she doesn’t want that, and neither does her son. She doesn’t want to talk about it. In her interview, she says Eileen struck a nerve. Apparently so, but Eileen should stop trying to fix it. Everyone tells her that Eileen didn’t mean it, and Erika says no one understands. Eileen says she has the utmost respect for Erika’s son. Quick analysis. Erika is one of those people who expects you to be a mind reader. She doesn’t reveal how she feels about anything, so you’re just supposed to figure it out. And Dorit is just a scatterbrain.

LisaR wants to change the subject, since she’s feeling left out. It’s her last night in Hong Kong, so her last chance to get things out. Because the world is also ending as soon as she leaves. She asks Dorit why she got left alone at the end of some dinner party at Dorit’s house. We see a quick clip of her talking to some guy at an empty table after dinner. Kyle asks what she’s insinuating, and Lisa asks if people were doing coke in Dorit’s bathroom. In her interview, Kyle thinks it doesn’t get much more offensive than this. LisaR seems drunk to me. Just sayin’. I’m also laughing because I doubt an entire table of people got up and crammed into the bathroom to do coke in 2017.

To be continued…

Next time, Dorit refers to her house a coke den, Dorit thinks LisaR acts like two different people, Erika does Young and Restless, and there’s a huge party.

March 20, 2017 – Charlotte Needs a Nanny, the VanderWedding Begins & a Couple of Other Things

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Anna gets a paper cut, which is a big deal if you’re on blood thinners. Andre drops by. He tells her about doing Charlotte’s evaluation.

Valentin, Nina, and Charlotte are having a celebratory meal at the MetroCourt. Valentin tells Charlotte that no one is ever going to take her away from him and Nina. Lulu and Laura walk in.

Tracy tells Hayden that she has good news for once. They got their first payment, and the hospital is on its way to financial solvency. She asks where Finn is, and Hayden says that he’s taken a leave of absence to deal with his addiction.

Finn is on hold with a rehab. He’s looking for an immediate opening. He tells Roxie it’s a wonder anyone gets clean. I can totally agree with this and identify. Several years ago, my alcoholic neighbor, who’d been drinking since he was in fourth grade, finally decided to get sober. I took on the job of calling rehabs, and it took at least a week to find him a spot in one. At the time, I said pretty much the same thing that Finn just did.

Sonny tells Carly that she’s always welcome at his house. She’s kind of testy, and says she’s there to figure out what’s going on between them and what they do next. She says losing Morgan and thinking Sonny killed him was the worst thing that ever happened to her. Finding out Sonny was innocent eased the anger, but the pain of Morgan’s death is still there. She says Nelle is like an ordinary pain – it hurts, but it’s not going to kill you – but losing Morgan was like a bottomless pit, a pain threatening to swallow her. She gets that Nelle used it to get Sonny into bed. Sonny asks if she sees it clearly, why can’t she get past it?

Anna tells Andre about talking to Olivia-J. He asks why put herself through that, and she says maybe she’s looking for closure. She and Duke only got pregnant once, and losing the baby changed the direction of their lives. She says seeing Olivia’s insanity only opened up old wounds, things she thought healed years ago. Andre asks if she got what she was looking for, but Anna says not really. She tells him that Duke never loved Olivia, but she tried to force it, and it doesn’t work that way. Andre agrees, probably thinking about Jordan. Anna asks about the evaluation. Andre explains that Lulu was granted six months of supervised visits and Valentin got full custody.

Nina suggests that she bring Charlotte to the office. She has a basket of treats she hasn’t tested yet. Charlotte gets all excited because she loves Nina’s office.

Lulu points out to Laura that Charlotte is there. Laura tries to focus on the menu. She says they all have to find a way to be in the same room. If Lulu shows anger, it’s going to go against her. On their way out, Valentin and family stop by the table. Laura asks Charlotte how she enjoyed her lunch, and Charlotte can barely respond. Valentin wants to talk to Lulu, but she tells him to leave her the hell alone. Honestly, either she is the stupidest human on the planet, or has absolutely no control whatsoever. Or maybe it’s PMS.

Finn thinks compared to the bureaucracy of getting into rehab, getting clean should be a piece of cake. He tells the rehab that he’s calling on behalf of one of his patients.

Hayden explains to Tracy about Finn going through withdrawal. She realizes she’s never known him when he’s been clean. Every decision that he’s made, including being with her, was when he was under the influence. Tracy asks why she’s not with him, and Hayden tells her that he wanted to do it alone.

Finn explains his own situation, but calls himself “his patient.” He hopes they can find an opening.

Valentin says they can arrange for Lulu to see Charlotte before the court appointed document is filed, so Charlotte can get used to being with her. Lulu balks at the weekly hour that Valentin offers. He says she scared Charlotte the two times they interacted, and he wants to ease her into it. Lulu acts like an idiot, so Laura steps in.

Tracy tells Hayden that of course he wants to do it by himself, but that doesn’t mean she should let him. Wherever he is, she needs to be with him.

Finn packs pretty much like I do, just tossing stuff into a suitcase. He tells Roxie that it’s only temporary, and Josslyn will take good care of her while he’s away. He says he wants to be someone better, and realizes how much time he’s spending chasing the drug. He finds a vial in the suitcase.

Nelle comes to the MetroCourt with a garment bag. Bobbie gets snotty with her, and Nelle says she gets it; she’s not welcome. Bobbie wants to know how she lives with herself, and calls her a bitch.

Sonny tells Carly that he should have caught on. Carly says he was skeptical at the beginning, and he says if something is too good to be true, it is. Don’t we all know it. She says someone with her life experience should have seen Nelle coming a mile away. She asks if Sonny ever really trusted Nelle, or was just going along with it for her? He says he saw how happy Carly was with her, and when Morgan died, the first couple of days he needed help, and she was there. She helped with Avery, and he let his guard down. She showed up on Thanksgiving, and he was alone, drinking. The weird thing is, that he remembers nothing – not kissing Nelle or even wanting to. He just woke up the next morning and she was in his bed. Carly asks how long after that did he decide to keep it a secret? Um…immediately?

Nina gives Charlotte a giant cookie and says they’ll bring the rest back to the house. She gives Charlotte some coloring/puzzle books. Valentin says that Mrs. Evans can help her later, because Nina has to work. After Nina settles Charlotte in, Valentin asks if she’s coming home tonight. She thinks they should be honest with Charlotte. She makes sure he’s not interested in Anna anymore, and says she’ll see him at home. I’d thought they’d settled that.

Anna tells Andre that if Valentin had just told Lulu she had a child, he could have avoided all this. I dunno about that. She realizes she’s a hypocrite, because she did the same thing, hiding Robin from Robert. Andre says maybe it was a complex situation, and Anna says maybe Valentin’s is too. She thought she knew him, but he wasn’t evil in the past and seems to love his daughter, yet at the same time he keeps hinting at knowing something. He knows why she put him on the kill list, but won’t tell her. Andre tells her she needs to focus on her health, but Anna tells him not to tell her how to live.

Mrs. Evans calls Nina. Nina says she’s sorry to hear it, they’ll miss her, and thanks for everything she’s done. She tells Charlotte that Mrs. Evans has to take care of her sick sister, but doesn’t know when she’s coming back. In the meantime, they’ll have to find another nanny.

Nelle says if Bobbie wants someone to blame, look in the mirror. Michael made her see she didn’t need revenge to be happy, and it would have stopped if Bobbie hadn’t interfered. Bobbie says Michael dodged a bullet, and would never be happy with her lying ass. She tells Nelle to get out before she throws her in the gutter where she belongs.

Carly tells Sonny that the worst betrayal is lying and covering it up. He says he didn’t want her hurt more than she was already. She says she could buy that, if Nelle was as innocent as she seemed. Sonny says he had to figure it out. Carly says she bought his explanation because she trusted him. He kept quiet and played into Nelle’s hands.

Anna apologizes. Andre asks if he can say something as a friend, who also happens to have a degree in psychology. She asks if she can stop him, and he says she’s not used to being afraid. Her condition is treatable, but makes her vulnerable. On top of it, she re-encounters someone from the past. It’s natural to want to tie up the loose ends. Anna says life isn’t that simple; it’s messy and full of contradictions. She says she glosses over her own mistakes – no, crimes – and she pushes them away, but when she sees Valentin, she’s reminded of how she was, and she doesn’t like herself very much. Andre says to be kind to her past self – she’s not the first to take a wrong turn, and give herself credit for choosing a better path. Allow her body and spirit to heal, and she can go back to kicking ass and taking names.  He asks if they’re still friends, and she says of course. They hug good-by. Andre has one last piece of advice for now – steer clear of Valentin.

Laura tells Lulu that the next six months require a staggering amount of self-control. Lulu says when she saw Charlotte, she wanted to run across the room. Laura says she has to play the long game and have patience. Lulu asks what the long game is and how she gets her daughter back. My deduction is going toward she’s the stupidest human on the planet.

Nelle comes in while Nina is on the phone. Nelle asks Charlotte if she can help, and explains the puzzle to her. Nina watches Nelle working with Charlotte and smiles. Nina tells Nelle that Charlotte’s nanny just resigned. (How convenient!) Nelle says that she’s bringing back the dress that Nina gave her for work. Nina tells her to keep it, but she says that she’s no longer working for Carly.

Carly brings up Michael, and how much he cared about Nelle. She asks how could Sonny let her take advantage of their son? He should have said something as soon as he saw she had an agenda. Sonny says that he didn’t want to lose her again.

Tracy says if Hayden loves Finn, she’ll be there whether he wants her there or not. Hayden says she has to trust him enough to let him try. Tracy tells her that hopefully, he’ll be back on staff by the time the next check comes, and telling them how to spend it.

Finn doesn’t remember stashing the vial. The phone rings. A bed is available. They ask for the patient’s name and Finn hesitates.

Nina tells Nelle that she’s surprised, since Carly said she was the best assistant ever. Nelle says it was time they parted ways. Nina gets another call, and Nelle introduces herself to Charlotte.

Lulu asks if it doesn’t drive Laura crazy to watch Valentin trample her. Laura says she’s not in the same position as Lulu. If Valentin commits another crime, she’s in a position to take action.

Valentin rings Anna’s doorbell. He asks if he can come in, and she says what if she says no. he says he could break in like she did, but it would just perpetuate the dance between them, and he wants to end it.

Finn says his patient decided on alternative therapy, but thanks anyway. He apologizes to Roxie, and starts to prepare a shot, but he drops the vial and it breaks.

Sonny says he didn’t want to drive Carly away when she needed him most. He says if it wasn’t for him, she would have pulled the trigger on Olivia-J. She would have done the same for him. He says that’s what they do for each other. She’s told lies too, but she’s still the one he trusts the most. She knows him deep down in his soul, like he knows her. They kiss. He has a silver wedding ring. I never noticed that

Hayden tells herself that she trusts Finn. Tracy doesn’t. Tracy goes to Finn’s room and sees the door open. She goes inside and sees the broken vial on the floor. She wonders what Finn has done.

Laura says if the court believed Valentin was up to no good, it would tip things in Lulu’s favor. She’s suitably placed to get her hands dirty. If things fall out the way she thinks they might, Valentin will get what’s coming to him. Sounds like she’s setting him up. I hope it backfires.

Valentin says no more break-ins, hints, or public disagreements; he wants peace. His wife and daughter are the most important things to him. If she persists, he’ll remove her – for good.

Nina apologizes to Nelle, but Nelle says she’s happy to help. She wonders if she can apply for the nanny position.

Carly tells Sonny that she has to go. She says he was right. They screw up the day to day things. They’re great at the big stuff, and would give their lives for each other, but when it comes to creating a life, they always end up at the same spot. She thinks they should just let it go. Sonny tells her that it’s not going to change, and she says she loves him, and if she hasn’t stopped now, she’s never going to. She leaves.

Tomorrow, Obrecht wonders where Finn is, Anna wants to know the truth, and Nina asks Nelle why she’s not working for Carly anymore.

Vanderpump Rules

Taco Tuesday; Wedding Wednesday. Schwartz and Katie go over things with the wedding planner. They want everything to be casual and fun. Katie claims she feels very calm. She’s marrying her Bubba. Oh, they also had edibles this morning. Schwartz’s mother arrives, and he gives her a Fireball shot. He suggests a wine chaser.

Jax is freaking out because Schwartz’s brothers missed their flight. He spends his interview time trying to figure out which tense of “worse” to use, and ends up saying it just sucks. They had one job, to show up on time. Brittany says her one job is getting everyone to party.

Scheana thinks Shay’s behavior is “off,” and wonders what’s up with him. Everyone goes to the lake with gigantic floaties. Kristen says as many problems as they have with each other, they all love Schwartz and Katie. A bug flies by and Stassi flips out. She doesn’t like bugs or dirt. Tom, who also missed his flight, manages to get there. He apologizes, and says he realized that he forgot his suit when he got to the airport. He’s rented a truck for the fifty cases of Coors Light he picked up. Eww!

Ariana asks what’s going on with Schwartz’s brothers, and Tom tells her that they missed the original flight, and then missed the connecting flight. Ariana thinks it’s possible that they still might get there in time for the rehearsal dinner.

Lisa checks out the ceremony space. A train comes by just a few yards away, and she hopes that doesn’t happen during the service. I would guess the venue knows the train schedule and plans accordingly. She has no direction yet, and needs to talk to Katie and Schwartz. The two of them join Ken and Lisa. Katie goes over the ceremony plans with Lisa while Ken grills Schwartz on how the first night is going to be. Katie gets all teary when Lisa reads what she has so far. We flash back on some of the events leading up to the wedding. Katie says the words Lisa is reading are exactly why they wanted her to officiate.

The others come by to check out the space. In her interview, Brittany tells us about her future wedding plans at a castle in Kentucky. Kristen takes pictures. The planner instructs everyone for the rehearsal. Tom talks about when he, Jax, and Schwartz lived together, and remembers when Schwartz first brought Katie home. Lunch is served. Giggy! Everyone drinks, and Jax says he has a huge crush on Schwartz’s mother. He wants to marry her just so Schwartz has to call him dad.

We flash back on Stassi’s relationship with Katie. Schwartz gives his mom an expensive ring as something to remember the moment by. Stassi’s mother pressures her about the guy she’s seeing. Stassi gives her mother TMI to get her off her back.

The triplets have arrived! Bert, Billy and Brandon. Tom had to dress them, since they basically have no clothing. Tom tells Schwartz that he and Jax want to give him an early wedding gift. The brothers come out one at a time, and Schwartz starts to cry. He says his brain isn’t even processing the moment. Somehow, Katie was able to keep the secret. Tom is thrilled about how happy Schwartz is. Lisa marvels at the identicalness of the triplets. In her interview, she says that it’s buried deep, but she knew there was some good in Jax. Well, Brittany likes him. Jax says his mission was to get Schwartz to cry – mission accomplished.

Shay is fast asleep. More dogs! Lisa tells Stassi how much hope she had for her, and felt she walked away from it. Stassi apologizes for letting Lisa down, and Lisa says maybe she needed to grow up and figure it out for herself. Lisa thinks it takes a big person to admit they’re wrong, and Stassi is glad for the compliment.

Katie goes down Memory Lane with her father. Both of her parents are there, even though they split up years ago. She says they haven’t been together as a family for a while. In her interview, she talks about doing things differently than her parents. Scheana tells Lisa about how she had a Little Mermaid party as a kid and didn’t want to mess up the piñata. They talk about Shay, and Scheana says he’s in a good place and they’ve gotten their couple mojo back. In her interview, Lisa seems a little skeptical, because she never sees Shay.

Piñata time! I’m waiting for the condoms and Ninja Turtle action figures to fall out. The girls work on the piñata, while the guys drink inside. The guys join in on the piñata festivities, It finally breaks, but I can’t tell what was inside, and Schwartz feels that everyone getting along is a good omen of the future. Lisa talks to Katie about the vows. Katie still needs to finish hers. Schwartz joins them. They talk about age, and Lisa is glad for her life experience. Katie says she’s been married thirty years and they should listen to any advice she has. Omg though, Ken is the best! Schwartz says he has no doubts about marrying Katie, and then ruins it by saying she fulfills him. That’s like, you complete me. No, just no. Everyone says good-night.

It’s the morning of the wedding. Ah, to be young and not hungover so much after a night of drinking. The groomsmen go fishing. Schwartz says he’s not ready with his vows yet. Ariana tells him to write it out and not wing it.

Lisa is ironing and Ken watches. She tells him that she hasn’t used an iron since 1986. He wants a picture, and harasses her with his phone. She tells him to bugger off. The bridesmaids get their makeup done. Katie says she’s heard that the wedding day flies by (truth!), and she’s tried to make sure all the bases are covered so she can enjoy herself. Kristen has taken on the job of attending to any last-minute details.

Jax wonders why he has to dress 30-year-old men, and tends to Schwartz’s brothers. Katie’s mother gives her a ring box with a corny sentiment on it. Tom practices tying his bow tie on his leg. He’s brought all kinds of back-up clothing and offers it around, including socks for Schwartz. Jax says two weeks ago, it wasn’t looking good, but now it’s finally happening. Ariana says if they’re still together after all the arguing in Vegas, they should be together for life.

Two hours and counting. Rose petals are scattered. Lisa thinks everything looks lovely, but she’s nervous because it’s somebody else’s day and she doesn’t want to screw it up. Giggy! Lisa instructs the helpers on how to decorate the podium.

Schwartz writes his vows. He says he’s a master procrastinator, but he’s got this. We’ll see. Ohh! Katie has one of those bouquets made out of vintage brooches. I love those! She says everything is perfect…almost. The boning in her dress is painful. She thinks maybe tacos and margaritas the night before wasn’t the best idea.

Ariana has been a bridesmaid a few times, and is enjoying wearing a suit. Tom says love is in the air. Jax says this is it, one vagina for life, but all joking aside, he’s excited for Schwartz.

And now, the dress reveal. No big shock, it’s beautiful. Lace with nude material underneath, and a mermaidish hem. Katie is wearing a sparkly headband that the veil will be attached to.

Fifteen minutes to go time. Giggy! Harrison! Another tiny Pomeranian! Schwartz talks to his dad on the phone, and tells him how much he loves him. Last minute adjustments are done on Katie’s dress, and the veil is attached. Tom thinks Ariana looks great in her suit and he’s right. Lisa takes her place at the podium. Katie’s veil is about a million miles long. The attendants walk down the aisle. The last two carry Schwartz and Katie’s dogs. Dogs! Schwartz wishes he could freeze frame the moment. It’s perfect.

Next time, the season finale, Schwartz and Katie are pronounced husband and wife, the reception happens, Lisa acquires a new bar, and Scheana wants a divorce.

🐮 Okay, going to give Sweet Home Oklahoma a try. It revolves around three women who are close friends. Years ago, I visited a friend in a small town outside of Tulsa and had the best time! I had to laugh about the restaurants – I swear everything was beef with a side of beef. I also got my first taste of Sonic, since we didn’t have them here at that point. One very interesting place I visited was a segregated cemetery. (And yes, that’s the one time I forgot my camera.) I suggested my friend buck the system and get a plot in the non-white section, but she told me that if she did, she might be using it earlier than she wanted to.

Afternote: I wasn’t totally paying attention, but the show might have promise. There’s a French bulldog in it.

👻 Once in a while, I mention a film, and I have to mention Lights Out. As soon as I saw the trailer, I wanted to see this movie. Although not much actually scares me – maybe the morgage payment – I enjoy those creepfests where things pop out at you. This one delivered, although I wasn’t crazy about the end, suddenly presenting me with lofty ideals and self-sacrifice. It was the same way I felt about Mama. Loved it up until the last few minutes. If you want to mix nobility with horror, it had better be damn good. Thirteen Ghosts (2001) worked for me in that department. I have to admit, I’ll probably watch it again, since a large percentage of it gave good scare.

March 14, 2017 – Olivia-J Meets Her Match, Jim is Cleaned Out While Wyatt is Cleaned Up, Beverly Hills Meets Hong Kong & a Little on Little LA

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Lulu tells Laura that she’s terrified. She thinks the judge might grant custody to Valentin. She thanks Laura for trying to get through to Nina. Laura says she hasn’t given up, and is just getting started.

Franco and Elizabeth get back home. She wants to check on the boys, even though the babysitter said they were sleeping. Franco says that he thought he lost her, but she says he didn’t. He tells her that the only time he feels like the world is okay is when he’s with her. They kiss. Jake has quietly come downstairs and sees them.

Jordan calls for a warrant. Andre walks in. He says he heard about the bomb scare and what happened to her.

Sonny asks Curtis for help.

While cleaning up the glass, Ava tells Carly if she’s done smashing things, she might take note that they have a mutual enemy. But she’s talking to herself; Carly is gone.

Carly goes to Morgan’s grave. She says she finally found out who did this to him, and the mystery is solved. It was Ava’s crazy sister. She tells him that her name is Olivia Jerome, and she’s the reason that Carly lost him forever

Olivia-J says, good-by little brother; you deserved that. Winston hasn’t found Alexis, but Olivia lets it go. She says the poor thing is wearing heels, and it will take her forever to get help. They’ll be long gone by then. She wasn’t able to bring Duke back, but she avenged his death; her work there is done. She tells Winston to have the boat standing by. There’s one last wrong she needs to right and correct her past.

Jake asks Franco and Elizabeth if something happened. He says the babysitter would only let them watch DVDs, and they weren’t allowed to use the internet or watch TV. Elizabeth says something did happen, but everyone is fine. Elizabeth shows him a picture of his new baby sister. Jake says he doesn’t think she’s cursed.

Andre asks Jordan how her head is, and she says hard. She tells him she’ll be fine. He says she just came through a hazardous time. Jordan is surprised when he calls Olivia-J crazy, since he’s a psychiatrist, but he says that he could call her worse.

Sonny asks Curtis if Olivia-J is the one. Curtis says that everything he’s heard is all true and then some. Sonny needs answers. Curtis says he’d be happy to provide all the information he has, but it looks like Sonny is up to speed. Sonny needs to know where to find Olivia, but Curtis can’t help him with that. Sonny asks what he knows about Winston.

Carly tells Morgan that they’ll never be over his death. The choices she’s made since then have been a disaster, and Michael and Josslyn got caught up in the fallout. She could handle it if Morgan was there, but he’s gone. Gone because of Julian and Ava’s crazy sister. She wants justice for him. She says that’s a lie, she wants revenge, and realizes she sounds like Sonny. She says after all this time, she understands him. She tells Morgan that she loves and misses him every second of every day. Olivia-J walks by and says she didn’t mean to intrude. Carly is like, wha….?

Doc joins Laura and Lulu. He says evacuating a psyche ward isn’t easy under the best of circumstances. Laura tells him about Charlotte’s evaluation, and he says it’s standard procedure. Lulu asks if he can make the evaluation, since she’s a complete idiot.

Franco asks Jake what he meant about a curse. Jake says Helena hated Sam, and put a curse on her. He thought she might have cursed the baby too, but maybe she was just saying that and the baby is okay. Elizabeth says curses aren’t real. Franco says Helena was a whack-job, and Elizabeth says she liked to scare people. Jake asks if she was like a witch, and Franco says he’s a letter off. I literally LOL. Franco says maybe Helena believed it, but there’s no such thing. Elizabeth says if Jake remembers anything, he should tell her. He says he only remembers her talking about the curse. All of a sudden, he glazes over a little and says, “Never forget, Jake. Never tell.”

Jordan has to go. Andre says he knows she needs to get back to work, and she says thanks for checking on her. He tells her that they’ve been through too much to be polite.

Curtis tells Sonny that he has no clue as to Winston’s whereabouts, but to let him know if he needs anything. Sonny gets on the phone to Max. He asks if there’s any word, and tells him to stay on it. He can bring in Spinelli if he needs to. If they find Winston, they find Olivia-J.

Olivia-J tells Carly that grief is a private thing, and starts to leave. Carly asks what she’s doing there at this time of night. She has a plaque in her hands, and says she was picking up some artifacts. Carly says she’s not going anywhere; she knows who Olivia is.

Franco asks why Jake said that, but Jake says he didn’t say anything. Franco repeats it, but Jake doesn’t know what it means. Elizabeth asks if he might have overheard Helena. Jake isn’t sure, and says he’s tired. Elizabeth asks if they can talk in the morning, and Jake says if she wants to. Franco takes Jake upstairs, and Elizabeth takes out the book that Helena left her, Jake’s Adventure.

When Franco comes back downstairs, he asks if Elizabeth thinks Jake might have seen the book, but she says no. She thought it was best not to throw it away, but kept it hidden in her locker until after her house blew up, and then she hid it in the new house. Franco suggests maybe there’s a curse on her too, but she says her luck is her own doing. She put it away and out of her mind. She says she knows it hasn’t been touched, which makes the situation more disturbing. Franco reads the end – Never forget, Jake. Never tell. Elizabeth wonders what it means and what Helena did to Jake.

Andre tells Jordan that he knows it was his idea to break up, but he’s missed her. She says she had to face things, and he says he’ll only be a phone call away – as a friend. Curtis comes in with coffee.

Sonny asks Max what he has on Winston

Olivia-J tells Carly that the only thing she knows about Carly is that she should mind her own business. If she keeps pushing, she won’t like the outcome. Carly asks what’s up with the plaque, and Olivia says that Olivia St. John used to be her name. Carly calls her a monster, and Olivia says she makes it sound like she rose from the sea to terrorize Tokyo. She tells Carly that the things on TV are just sensationalism. She knew nothing about a bomb, and the things about Anna were exaggerated. Carly tells her to shut up. She says she only cares about one thing – that Olivia killed her son.

Doc tells Lulu that it’s a conflict of interest, and Valentin’s lawyer would never allow it. Lulu thinks they should use the shooting to their advantage. Doc can say either he does the evaluation or he’ll testify about the shooting. Doc says sorry, not happening. Lulu says she’s desperate. Laura asks if he knows most of the therapists in Port Charles, and if he can ask around to find out who it will be. He says he doesn’t have that kind of access, but it still wouldn’t be right. The therapist has to be impartial. Lulu says nothing about this is impartial. She begs him to find out who it is, and tell them that Charlotte was poisoned against Lulu.

Elizabeth wonders if it’s code for something else. Franco says just because it seems innocuous doesn’t mean it is. They both decide to reread the book. Elizabeth asks Franco if he remembers when Jake first came home; he was insecure and terrified of abandonment. Everything came to a head after Sam fell down the stairs, and now he seems like a normal boy. On the surface, nothing is wrong, but he hasn’t seen the book and he’s reciting from it. Franco says maybe it’s some kind of sign, and Elizabeth says she’s scared that Jake is holding on to a terrible trauma, so bad he blocked it. She doesn’t know where to start. Franco thinks there’s another way.

Jordan has to take a call from Dante. Andre tells Curtis that he heard that he diffused the bomb, and thanks him. Curtis says, but he still doesn’t like him. Andre says he and Jordan had something special, and Curtis blew it apart just because he could, and that’s right, he doesn’t like him.

Winston looks for Olivia-J on the footbridge, but finds Sonny instead.

Olivia-J says, you’re his mother. Carly says his name was Morgan, and she’s standing on the grave of the boy she murdered. Olivia pulls a gun, and Carly calls her crazy. Morgan had his life ahead of him. She stole that and stole Morgan from her, and now Carly is going to make her pay. Olivia says not today. They struggle over the gun, and Olivia gets shot. Carly draws the gun on her and says now we’re going to talk about how you killed my son.

Lulu tells Doc about her horrible mistake in telling Charlotte that she’s her mother. He says it was bad timing, but she told the truth. She says then there was the whole Crimson debacle, and tells Doc about it. She says she hasn’t had a chance to show Charlotte how much she loves her, so no way is Charlotte going to say something good; she hates Lulu. Doc says Charlotte’s feelings will change, but a good therapist will be able to talk to her and see beyond her words. They’ll interpret her actions and emotions, and get at the root of why she feels the way she does, which could work in Lulu’s favor. The therapist is going to know she was kept from Lulu, and she has to trust the system. Lulu says she’s been too focused on what Charlotte will say, rather than what the therapist and the court hears. She thanks Doc for his advice, and leaves for Olivia-F’s place to pick up Rocco.

Laura says she shouldn’t have put Doc on the spot, but she had to ask. He says of course, and she says she has another favor. She needs him to be straight with her.

Curtis tells Andre that he and Jordan aren’t together, and have no romantic intentions, so if he wants to romance her, knock his socks off. Andre says to spare him the attempt of bowing out gracefully. He should have done that at the beginning.  If he bows out now, she’ll think he’s a coward or a player, and Curtis will lose her too.

Ava leaves another message for Sonny, telling him the charges have been dropped and she wants to see Avery. She tells him about Carly storming over. She says she had nothing to do with Morgan’s death, and it’s harmful for Avery not to see her. While she’s wrapping up her tirade, there’s a knock at the door. It’s Jordan. Ava asks if it’s a formal apology. Jordan says no apology, but she needs to speak with her. Ava asks if something happened to Julian, since he’s always getting in trouble, but Jordan is there about Olivia-J. Ava says she may have noticed that Olivia is insane and might go after Julian. She wanted to see him, and was insistent. Jordan asks how Ava knows that, and Ava says she was there.

Sonny asks Winston what his son’s name is. Winston says Morgan. Sonny asks where Olivia-J is. Winston doesn’t know. Sonny tells Winston that he’s useless to him then. It makes him someone who helped Olivia kill Morgan, and what does he think Sonny is going to do with that?

Olivia tells Carly that it was an accident; she was after Julian and she’s sorry. It was Julian’s fault. Carly says she’s blamed him and everyone else, but only one person is responsible – her. Olivia asks what good will it do, but Carly says she doesn’t care about doing good. Nothing she does will bring Morgan back, but she can balance the scales a little by making sure Olivia’s not alive to hurt anyone else.

Laura asks in Doc’s heart of hearts, knowing everything he does, what’s his honest opinion about what will happen. He thinks it can go either way.

Franco tells Elizabeth that they could use art therapy without directly asking questions. Elizabeth says then Jake won’t have the need to evade them. He says Jake won’t know what’s going on, but they might find out what they’re dealing with. He says Jason is the only problem. If he finds out, he might stop it. Elizabeth says that unless there’s something concrete to report, he doesn’t have to know. She needs to know what Helena did to Jake.

Ava tells Jordan that Olivia-J held her at gunpoint and forced her to call Julian. When he got there, Olivia ordered him to go somewhere else. Jordan asks why she didn’t call the police, and  both Ava and I roll our eyes. Ava says they’re biased against her, and she was just released for a crime she had nothing to do with. Jordan asks where Julian and Olivia were meeting, but Ava has no idea.

Sonny tells Winston that he has a lot of influence on the waterfront. When they made arrangements for the boat, he got a call. Winston says he has no idea where she is, but she told him that she had to right one last wrong and correct the past.

Carly asks Olivia-J if she would have listened if she or Morgan begged. Olivia says Morgan was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Carly says now it’s Olivia’s turn. What are the odds she visits Morgan’s grave and finds his killer? She says that some higher power heard her prayer, and she’s not missing out on answered prayer. Olivia says she doesn’t want to do this, but Carly says, yes she does. She really does. We hear a shot.

Tomorrow, Alexis thinks Julian might be dead, Sonny tells Winston that it’s going to get ugly, and Tracy and Monica make a toast.

The Haves and the Have Nots

War backs out of Erica’s room. She asks David to stop, and he asks if she’s all right. She says yes, but he doesn’t think so. He talks about how amazing it feels and that he got carried away. She says he did nothing wrong; it’s just too soon. He asks if there’s something more, like his situation or age. She tells him no. He asks if she wants him to leave, and she thinks that’s best. She just thinks it’s too soon, and they were both drunk. He asks to see her tomorrow and she agrees, thanking him for understanding. This hotel has the Worst. Security. Ever.

David leaves and War pops out of the closet, making me laugh. I’ll bet he’s a funny guy IRL. Usually those super nasty characters are.

War says he hates to see that, and Erica says that David is nothing but a mark. She says she doesn’t get involved in his business, and he repeats that he doesn’t like it. He says she wasn’t answering her phone, and she says she was working. It was Candace’s idea, and they’re going to get four million, not just two. She tells him that Candace didn’t set him up; Mitch did. War says he’s going to kill Mitch. She asks if he wants her to call Candace, but she gets voicemail. Erica leaves a message to call her back. She tells War they’ll get Candace for everything she’s got. War’s phone rings. He says Candace is at the Fountain Drop Hotel, and Erica guesses that’s the best she can do. War says he doesn’t want to see that dude in Erica’s room again, but Erica insists she’s just working.

Candace tells Charles he’s quiet. He asks how much she taped. She says all of it, and she videoed everything too. He asks who is doing this, and she says just her. He says he was warned that his opponent would try something like this, and asks what she wants. She says she’ll let him know. He says it’s sad; it was the one time he let his guard down. She tells him that’s bs; he’s done this before. He’s like most men in power. They take what they like and walk away. Candace says he just messed with the wrong female, and Charles says she just messed up the best situation of her life. He’s a good guy, and didn’t lie, cheat, or deceive to get what he wanted. She applauds, and says he’s going to be fine. He says he won’t be blackmailed. She says that’s not what she wants. She wants him to come back later and wait for her in bed, naked. He says it’s not going to happen, but she says it will. He doesn’t really want power. He wants it in public, but in private, he wants to be submissive. She says he sobered up, and now he’s afraid, so be drunk when he comes back. Before he leaves, Candace tosses the recording to him. He asks if there are copies, and she says maybe. She tells Charles that she’s going to give his boring ass some excitement. He comes to the bed and kisses her.

Commercial break with important information. Too Close to Home will be returning directly after If Loving You is Wrong’s season debut (March 15). Tyler Perry back to back? My head might explode.

Jeffrey messes with his phone, texting, while Melissa lies in bed. He gets a message from the rehab people saying that Wyatt finally called, and one from Justin, apologizing and begging him to talk. Melissa gets up and takes his phone. She asks who Justin is, and why he’s sorry, and wonders why there are no pictures on his phone. She asks what Justin did and why Jeffrey is so angry. She tells him about a guy who treated her like crap, and then texted apologies all night. She says if Justin is like that, dump him. Or is he the jealous type and saw the text about Wyatt? Jeffrey reacts, and she says it’s not going to work. She says if he wants to go, to use her car, since it’s not parked there, and Veronica won’t hear it start. She goes back to bed.

There’s a knock at Wyatt’s door. It’s the people from the rehab. Anna, Joan, and some guy who asks how long he’s been trying to kick it. Joan explains the expense end of it, as Wyatt’s vitals are taken. Anna says he made the right call. She asks if he knows a Jeffrey. He says yes, and she says he’s been calling every two hours. Nameless guy says that Wyatt’s blood pressure is through the roof. He asks when was the last time Wyatt took something, and Wyatt thinks yesterday. Dude asks him to pee in a cup. Anna says he did the right thing, and is in good hands.

Hannah comes back to the room. Benny is sleeping in front of the door to make sure Candace didn’t leave, but she’s gone, so he’s not very good at that. He calls her phone, but Hannah says wherever Candace is, let her stay there. She has to think about Quincy Jr. Benny wants the car keys, and Hannah asks if he killed Quincy. Benny tells her no. She says the cops said two people killed him. He asks why she was talking to them, and she says to tell them where Candace is, to protect her. He asks how that’s protecting her, and Hannah tells him that War is after Candace, and she’s better off in jail. Benny says that War can get to her locked up. Hannah says the police said that a man helped with the murder, and she insists Benny must have done it. She asks why his bracelet was there. Benny asks for the keys again, but Hannah wants answers first. He says he didn’t do anything, but she thinks he’s lying.

Benny calls Mitch. He needs help and a ride. He asks Mitch to pick him up. Mitch says he’s on his way. Hannah tells him not to ask again about the car.

Candace listens to her messages. Jim calls. She says Jim who, and how much did she get from him? He plays along, and she says, oh, hi Jim, and what a surprise. He says he misses her, and she says too bad she doesn’t miss him. She tells him that the money is gone because the bank foreclosed. He asks who told her that he was behind it, and she says it doesn’t matter. He wants to see her. She laughs, and says he must be kidding; she’s not coming anywhere near him. He tells her to name her price. She says ten million. He says escort rate, not blackmail rate. She says she knows he’s trying to set her up. He was a job, and now the job is done. He’s not going to see her. She hangs up.

Mitch comes to the Fountain Drop. Benny tells Mitch that Candace isn’t answering, and to try calling from his phone. Hannah asks if he’s in on it, and if he killed that boy. Mitch says he saw it on the news. He asks Benny what he did, and Hannah says that’s what she’s trying to find out. Hannah slaps Benny around, and he tells her to calm down. She keeps asking what he did. He says he’ll be back, and everything is fine. He and Mitch leave.

Mitch tells Benny he needs some help. He thinks it’s a waste of time looking for Candace, and that Benny should lawyer up. Benny says it’s 3 am, and Mitch says do it anyway. Benny calls Veronica. She says whoever this is must not know the time, which is more polite than I’d be. He says he has a legal situation and needs advice. She acts cagey, and he says if she’s going to help him, fine, but if not, don’t waste his time. She tells him to come over. He tells Mitch this isn’t a good idea. Mitch repeats that he needs help.

Jim wanders around his empty mansion. There’s no furniture or anything else in it. He calls for Kathryn, and she comes downstairs. He asks if they were robbed, and she says she took everything. He says he was right in his office and didn’t hear anything, and she says he wasn’t supposed to. She asked him to leave, he wouldn’t, so she is (and I guess the furniture too). She’s going to sell the house out from under him. He says they need to stick together and this isn’t the answer. She tells him he’s not the answer. She’s done and he needs to leave. If she has to donate the house to charity, she will. She tells him that she’s getting a divorce, and walks out.

Jim calls David. He’s at the bar having a drink (when is last call?), and Jim asks where. Jim tells him Kathryn just walked out with everything. She had one of the quietest moving crews ever, and took it all while he was in his office. He says he’s on his way – if he still has a car. They can celebrate his divorce.

Jeffrey sees a car outside. Melissa asks who it is, and he tells her to mind her business. She tells him she’s a person too, and has feelings. Melissa’s mother calls and the doorbell rings. Veronica answers the door. It’s Benny. She tells him he needs to apologize before anything else, and he says he’s sorry. She says it must be something for him to call in the middle of the night. He says he has a friend who didn’t murder anyone, but buried the body. She asks where. He says the backyard, but he forgot something when he buried it. She asks if they’re talking about Quincy, and Benny says yes. Veronica asks if the friend murdered him, and he says no, just buried him. She says the first thing he needs to do is take off his clothes. Benny says he’s not doing this. She says he can help himself by having his way with her. He tells her never mind; he doesn’t know why he came here. She asks if he’s sure, and keeps asking as he leaves.

This is one busy town at 3 am.

Benny tells Mitch they shouldn’t have come and let’s get out now. He says he asked for help and she wanted sex. I think Mitch is a little flabbergasted that Benny doesn’t think this is a good idea.

Veronica goes back upstairs. She sees Jeffrey and asks if he shouldn’t be asleep. He asks if she shouldn’t be ashamed, and she says no; she’s heterosexual. She tells him to go to bed with Melissa. She tells him that Benny just gave himself and Candace up; he might go free after all. Jeffrey says his keys were there, and Veronica calls it a minor detail.

Jeffrey goes back in the bedroom. He says he’s not sleeping in the chair, and don’t touch him in the bed. Melissa comes out of the bathroom and gets back in bed. She tells him that her father died. He says too bad; he wants to go to sleep. She starts to cry. He asks if she wet the bed, but when he pulls the covers back, there’s blood all over the place. She’s slit her wrists.

Benny and Mitch come back to the hotel. Mitch tells Hannah that they can’t find Candace. Hannah says they won’t, unless she wants to be found. She says she asked her boss to find them a lawyer, and Kathryn is calling in the morning. Hannah wants to know what Benny did. Mitch says he buried the body. She asks if Benny killed Quincy, and Mitch tells Benny to answer. Benny says when he got to the house, Quincy was already dead. It was Candace and Jeffrey. Hannah says no way, and she thinks Candace is lying. She says that Candace doesn’t even know Jeffrey. Suddenly, the door busts open. It’s War and his crew.

A huge fight happens. Lots of punching and kicking and throwing, and Hannah yelling stop it. War pulls out a gun, and they all start shooting. Then they all run. Mitch and Benny come out from under the bed. Hannah comes out of the bathroom with Quincy Jr. He’s been shot.

This was the season finale, so no preview.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Harrison! Giggy! LisaV is packing for Hong Kong. She hasn’t been there in eighteen years. She tells Ken that he’s lucky she’s only bringing three bags, unlike Erika, who packs enough for ten people.

Erika is also packing, and needs three people just to help her. They go through a lookbook of outfit ideas. At the same time, Dorit manages to put her own outfits together. She’s very familiar with Hong Kong, having worked in a business where she went there every six weeks.

LisaR shows her dog, Lola, the accessories she’s bringing. She says sometimes it comes to this. She’s only going for a couple of days because she has to be back for a QVC gig. She tells Lola that she’s going for Lola’s people, and Lola walks away. Typical dog. Long story short. I was being interviewed for a TV program at my house years ago. The cameraman suggested I pick up my dog, Juliet, and give her a kiss. I thought this was Juliet’s chance to be a star, but instead, she tried to bite me on the nose.

Dorit picks up LisaV for the airport. Lots of dogs! Lisa kisses all the babies, and Ken, good-by. Schnooky wants to come along, and Lisa misses them already.  I identify. After Juliet had puppies, the first time I went out for the day all I did was think about them. Dorit wonders who she’ll be sitting next to on the flight. They go through various seatmates and how they would feel about them.

Erika wonders what everyone was thinking with their outfits, since it’s a fifteen-hour flight. She’s wearing a sweat suit because she knows the real deal. It’s nap time.

The plane is super cool, and Eileen is the only one who stays awake. I’d be playing with all the buttons and ordering champagne.

Fastest. Plane. Ride. Ever. We’re in Hong Kong. The Shangri-La hotel manager greets the ladies. No surprise, it’s fabulous. LisaV is in the presidential suite, which she calls cute. Fruit baskets and sundries abound.

The ladies meet for drinks. Erika is wearing a forties look, with her hair like one of the Andrews Sisters, and wearing what looks like a peignoir with marabou feathers on the cuffs. She’s seated next to Dorit. In her interview, Dorit says the harder she tries to be nice, the colder Erika gets. Eden talks about her online squeeze kindred spirit, who she’s meeting in NYC. She says it’s her treat and the women are like, no and no. Eden says that maybe he could be an ax murderer, but so could she.

LisaV talks about the documentary. She tells the women that if they want to come, that’s fine, but she’s not pressuring anyone because it could be depressing. Kyle says she can’t see anymore, and I won’t see to begin with. Dorit tells Lisa that they’re all supportive, and Lisa starts to cry. In her interview, Eileen says she’s willing to see LisaV in a different light because she can understand where she’s coming from.

LisaR wonders what to do with her chocolate tower, and Eileen thinks they should just eat it. Seriously. What is she going to do? Try to save it? Try taking that through customs. A window cleaner comes by, and we flash back to the diver who Eileen awoke to in Dubai. Dorit comes by. Eileen says she’s going with LisaV, and Dorit decides to come along. LisaR is going to the highest point in Hong Kong with Eden. In her interview, she says she’s willing to give Eden a second chance.

Kyle meets with LisaV, who’s main objective is to do what she needs to do without acting like a blubbering idiot. Kyle is doing some sightseeing. They talk about how beautiful it is. Eileen is suddenly on the phone. She tells Lisa that she wants to join her, but knows how personal it is and doesn’t want Lisa to be uncomfortable. Lisa tells her to please come, and they make plans to meet downstairs. Kyle says she’ll be holding down the fort at Chanel. Lisa is surprised at Eileen’s call, and Kyle says Eileen can be really nice if she’ll give her a chance.

LisaR talks to Dorit about the night at Eden’s when she pulled out her bag of drugs pills supplements. She wants to make sure that Dorit is clear that it was a joke, and she doesn’t have a problem. Dorit says she’s certain that if she talked about it to anyone, it was in relaying a funny moment. She says she’d never insinuate that Lisa had a drug problem, and asks who said it. Lisa says it was during a conversation in Mexico, and Dorit says she would like to confront the person. Lisa backtracks and says no one told her, she just had a sixth sense about it. In her interview, Dorit says that doesn’t make sense. She wonders why Lisa hasn’t said anything up until now. Lisa tells her to go to everyone she was with that night, and see if anyone twisted what she had to say. Way too complicated for what it is.

Kyle and Erika walk around a gorgeous park that has Koi ponds and all kinds of fountains. Eden and LisaR get into an elevator car that takes you to the highest point in Hong Kong. It’s really cool looking! Even the car is cool, like an old-fashioned trolley with wooden seats.

LisaV tells Eileen that she’s trying not to be a wimp and crying about the dogs all the time. They arrive at the studio where the documentary is being made. Lisa explains how she started to get involved. One of the guys talks about how much they’ve done so far. Eileen wants to understand more about the cause. They show part of the documentaries, and talk about how the dogs are tortured to “make the meat more tender.” Lisa is pleased with the film so far. Lisa says hopes to achieve momentum and support. She does a voiceover about how she has eight dogs that she worships. In her interview, Eileen says she thinks this is the beginning of a different understanding between them. Every time I even think about the dog meat trade, I get infuriated and depressed. The Wicked Witch of the West said it best, “What a world! What a world!”

Erika suggests she and Kyle shop for jade. In her interview, Erika says usually kids who grow up in the business turn out to be a-holes, but Kyle is a cool chick. She tells Kyle about her visit home, and how her mother apologized for being hard on her as a kid. She says it was unexpected, but appreciated. A lot of her mother’s dreams were unrealized, and she placed them on Erika. She says it’s hard for a kid to handle. Kyle talks about a psychic she saw, who told her that her mother said she wasn’t responsible for her sister Kim, and how she’s a good mom. Kyle gets weepy, and in her interview, says her mother acknowledged the mistakes she’d made. They talk about how a mom can get under your skin the way no one else can. Kyle says there was a lot of pressure on them to be perfect, but we all make mistakes. Erika says the way she was treated as a child has carried over into the way she treats others; she waits for them to critique her.

Eden and LisaR eat in a café way up in the air. Lisa still feels unsettled about her talk with Dorit. She tells Eden about it. She thinks someone is turning what happened at Eden’s house into Lisa having a problem. Eden says she was asked about it – by Dorit. We flash back, but it wasn’t quite like that. Lisa says she thinks everyone knew about it except her. Eden says go to the source and Lisa says she did, but the source is a wimp.

Erika’s glam squad goes to work on her. She talks about her previous trips to Hong Kong.

The ladies meet for a junk boat trip. I have no clue what that is. Everyone is super dressed up, which makes me confused. Oooh! It’s so pretty! It’s an old-fashioned small ship. This is freaking cool. Inside the ship, it’s more modern, with padded bench style seats, tiny lanterns, and alcohol. Dorit decides now is the time to bring up what LisaR said to her. She wants to know who said that she thought Lisa had a drug problem. Lisa says nobody told her that, and asks what the conversation in Mexico was about. It gets convoluted at this point, because everyone is talking all at once and vaguely. Dorit says Lisa is talking out of two sides of her mouth, either she was surprised or she wasn’t. To top it off, the picture and sound on my TV are periodically breaking up, making it even harder to understand. I think that, as usual, a bigger deal is being made out of something to get a story out of it.

Eden says it came to her that when Dorit was at her house, she’d asked if Lisa had a problem with pills. Dorit says she doesn’t remember saying that. There’s a lot of that going around on these shows. In her interview, LisaV wonders if LisaR is paranoid, and says that paranoia can be brought on by pills. BA-DUM-CHH! LisaR tells Dorit to be honest, and she says she is. Nothing was said about her having a problem, and Dorit never thought she did. In her interview, LisaR says the problem is that Dorit is talking behind her back. Kyle doesn’t think Dorit was inferring there was a problem. Dorit says it wasn’t like she was saying Lisa was a drug addict, but Erika says she implied it. Dorit says she’d said they were joking around, and Erika says she did, but why did she bring it up if she didn’t think it was part of Lisa’s behavior? LisaV doesn’t remember LisaR’s behavior being a topic of conversation. Dorit complains about Erika talking over her, when normally she hardly says anything. Erika says that she says important sh*t, while Dorit says boring sh*t, and a lot more of it. Dorit asks what Erika’s issue is with her, and Erika claims not to have one. I dunno about that after what she just said. Dorit says Erika is the only one she hasn’t made even a small connection with, and Erika says that’s because she doesn’t like bs and that’s what Dorit is all about. Dorit asks Erika why she didn’t just say that, and Erika says she just did.

Next time, LisaR tells Dorit not to threaten her, more high up stuff, a giant Buddha, and Erika breaks down. Good. I was liking her a little more after her trip back home, but I think her animosity toward Dorit is uncalled for. I think Dorit is ditzy and has no filter, but I don’t think she comes from a bad place.

🏝 A note on Little Women: LA. After reaching her goal of being in the final five, Terra was cut from Dancing with the Stars. Husband Joe was glad to have her back, but her schedule is still crazy, and includes surgery on several hernias. This woman makes me feel embarrassed that my idea of accomplishment is getting to bed at a decent hour, and I can’t even do that. I love Terra’s husband too – he’s so laid back. She does get irritated at him for taking too many things as a joke, but the bottom line is that he’s totally supportive of her. The girls also did an insane workout (minus Terra), where they were suspended on harnesses. It looked like a lot of fun, although Tonya said it wasn’t a workout, it was crazy white people’s sh*t.  Elena seemed a little unreasonable, crying to husband Preston that Terra promised that when she was done with DWTS, their friendship would be back to normal, and Terra hadn’t called yet. I doubt when she said that, that Terra predicted they would have a huge fight before she was eliminated. At least Elena recognizes her desire to tell Terra “I told you so” about her health, and that it’s the wrong thing to say. I’ve had to resist that urge myself on more than one occasion. Believe me, they’re well aware that you were right. And it’s like waiting for the other shoe to fall. 👠

💤 Tuesday TV is exhausting. 💤

 

 

March 13, 2017 – The Fun Never Ends in Port Charles, the Wedding Weekend Begins, Summer House Ends & Some Housewives Talk

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Sonny visits Morgan’s grave. He has good news. Morgan’s killer is being brought to justice, and his family is holding up. He says they’re not sure they can prove who the killer is, and he and Carly split up. Sounds more like good news/bad news to me. He tells Morgan he did something very stupid, so don’t blame his mother. He managed to hurt her again. As he’s talking, Carly comes with flowers.

Ava’s phone rings. It’s Olivia-J. She asks for Julian. She tells him that she decided she couldn’t take the chance meeting at Ava’s. She’s found a way to protect herself with someone who’s more valuable to him. He asks who’s more valuable than Ava, and Olivia says his precious ex-wife, Alexis.

Dante tells Jordan what Jason and Curtis are doing. She says what if the bomb detonates, and Dante says hopefully, the bomb squad will disarm it.

At this point, Finn is sitting on the floor looking all sweaty. He tells Hayden it doesn’t seem like there’s a fire, and wonders if it’s something worse. Hayden asks what could be worse than a fire? He says that he doesn’t want to find out. She tells him he looks awful, and he says it figures.

Sam yells at the police about wanting to find Jason, and Epiphany tells her to knock it off. She gives the baby to Epiphany, and goes back to arguing with the officer. Franco tells the police to quit hassling Sam, and she tells him there’s a bomb in the building. They hear an announcement saying that Jason and Curtis are inside with the bomb squad.

Jason tells Curtis to leave, but Curtis wants to wait for the experts. The bomb squad shows up, and asks how they’re doing. Curtis tells them that they’ll be doing better once the bomb is disarmed. They have just over three and a half minutes left.

Sonny tells Carly that he thought if he talked to Morgan he could figure things out. Carly says she’ll come back, but Sonny asks her to stay. He says that he should have been talking to her and asking her to forgive him. She says she doesn’t give a damn about Nelle. Her son is dead. Sonny says our son, but she says it doesn’t feel like it. She says the worst part was going through it all by herself, and having the pit in her stomach with nothing to fill it and no one to understand. Sonny tells her that he understands. Carly says when she realized that, the relief was overwhelming, but now it’s like she’s back to the beginning. He says it doesn’t have to be that way, and she says it does. He says that sleeping with Nelle was the biggest mistake, and he doesn’t even know how it happened. Carly says she’s forgiven him for worse, but he let her keep Nelle close. He says he tried to get rid of her. But he didn’t, Carly tells him, and he should have told her the truth. Sonny says he didn’t want to add to her pain, and Carly says he let Nelle take advantage of their family at its lowest point. He says he’s sorry, and she says she is too. She wants to spend time alone with Morgan.

Julian asks Olivia-J what she’s done to Alexis, and Olivia says he’ll find out when he meets her. She tells him come to the footbridge. Ava asks what’s going on, but Julian tells her that the less she knows, the better.

Hayden asks if Finn can wait this out. He tells her he’s going to be in full-blown withdrawal soon, and she should have left while she had the chance, before he starts throwing up.

Franco tells Sam that Jason wouldn’t want her anywhere near a bomb. She says that Franco should be in there, not Jason. Since Elizabeth is still in the hospital too, Sam asks Franco how it feels to be on the other side.

Jordan sees Elizabeth, and asks why she’s still there. Elizabeth tells her that she was helping to get patients out. Dante says that since Jason is Jake’s father, she should know what’s happening. He tells her about Jason being in the elevator with the bomb.

Curtis asks the bomb squad guy what wires need to be cut. The guy explains that the bomb has dual triggers, and both have to be disarmed simultaneously. Curtis refuses to leave, saying he can cut the wires himself. This is actually more practical than noble. The bomb squad guys have so much equipment on, by the time they trade places with Curtis, they’ll all be blown to smithereens. The guy gives Curtis the wire cutters. He tells Curtis that the same color wire will disarm both triggers. Curtis decides to go for the red one.

Carly tells Morgan that it’s typical of her and his dad to bring their issues to him. She says she couldn’t protect him in life, but she can try now. Her phone rings. It’s Ava, surprising the hell out of her. Ava says she’s desperate for a visit with Avery and can’t get Sonny on the phone. Carly says she’s at Morgan’s grave. Ava says she didn’t know. Carly says now you do, and hangs up. Carly tells Morgan she loves him, and leaves.

Alexis comes to on the footbridge, where she’s handcuffed to the railing. Olivia-J says sorry about the chloroform, and some sponsor she tuned out to be. Alexis asks why she’s doing this, and Olivia tells her that she doesn’t expect Alexis to understand. She’s learned there’s no line between love and hate. Olivia says she already has – my husband, who is home today, walks by and says something, and I have no idea what Olivia has now. Thanks, Ron.

Hayden wipes Finn’s forehead with a cool cloth. He says if he has to be stuck with anyone, he’s glad it’s her, but she doesn’t deserve this; she’s healthy and strong. Hayden says she’s where she wants to be. Her place is with him.

Sam tells Franco this is torture. They’re outside while the ones they love are inside. She says Elizabeth won’t die, because Jason is risking his life to save everyone. She says thank God he survived the ancient history of Franco trying to kill him.

Curtis realizes the red wires aren’t the way to go, and asks how Jason feels about blue. Jason likes blue. One…two…three…commercial.

An explosion sound is heard inside the hospital. Sam begs an officer for Jason’s status. He radios, but no one answers. Jason walks out. Sam runs to him. Guess blue worked.

Finn tells Hayden he’s still alive. He wonders if he heard a loud boom. Hayden says he’s not delirious, but nothing is raining down on them, so they must be okay. He asks what she’s going to do when she gets out. She tells him she’s going to help him kick his addiction. He asks why she’s wasting her time with him. She says he never ran, so she isn’t either. He says if something bad happens, she doesn’t have to keep her promise. She tells him that nothing bad will happen. A voice on the loudspeaker says the evacuation is officially over an everyone get back to work

Jason asks about Emily, and Sam says they need to get her and go home. Jason tells Sam that she’s going back to bed in the hospital. She makes him promise to come with her.

Jordan follows-up on Olivia-J. Curtis comes in. Jordan says he didn’t have to do what he did. He says he’s practically an expert. She mentions some case and says it doesn’t count, but he says he’s two for two. He wants her to admit she’s glad he’s alive. He reminds her that she was also knocked unconscious, and needs to see a doctor.

Franco sees Elizabeth and kisses her.

There’s a knock on Ava’s door. It’s Carly, who starts to bang on the door like a lunatic. Ava tells Carly she’s no longer a suspect, and there’s proof someone else planted the bomb.

Julian sees Alexis on the footbridge. Olivia puts a gun in his back and says right on time.

Elizabeth and Franco find Finn and Hayden. Elizabeth asks if Finn is sick, and Hayden says he’s going through withdrawal.

Sonny comes by Sam’s room. He says he heard Jason saved the day, but Jason says Curtis did most of the work. Sonny checks out Emily, saying she’ll give Avery a run for her money. Sam says she knows he’s thinking about Morgan, and she’s sorry. He says nothing to be sorry about; the baby is a blessing.

Carly says everyone kept telling her that Ava couldn’t be guilty, but Julian was talking to his sister on the recording. Ava says he was talking to his sister, but not to her. He was talking to the sister who supposedly died in 1990, but didn’t. She shows Carly an article about Olivia-J on her tablet, and says Carly can apologize now. Carly looks at Olivia’s picture and says she killed my son.

Julian tells Olivia-J to let Alexis go; she has nothing to do with it. Olivia says she has everything to do with it. She wants him to feel the same pain she did when he murdered Duke, and she lost the love of her life. The difference is, she isn’t going to kill Alexis, Julian is.

Elizabeth says she’ll help Finn, but she can’t let him go back to work in his condition. Hayden asks if she’s going to report him, but Elizabeth says his secret is safe as long as he takes a leave of absence.

Jordan tells Curtis that she feels fine, and there’s a madwoman running loose. He says as soon as she gets checked out, she can go back to work. He tells her that it’s good she has someone looking out for her.

Out in the hallway, Jason explains to Sonny about Olivia-J. He says it was only a matter of time before she made a mistake. He tells Sonny to go home to Carly, but Sonny says she wants nothing to do with him. Jason asks if she knows about Nelle. Sam pops out, saying that Emily is done eating. She asks if Sonny is all right. He says the woman who killed his son is still out there

Carly asks if Ava believes Olivia-J is alive. Ava says considering she saw her, she doesn’t have much choice. Carly asks why she didn’t call police, and Ava tells her that Olivia had her tied up and threatened the safety of someone she cares about. Carly says she thought that Ava cared about Morgan. Carly tells Ava that she doesn’t want the police finding Olivia; she wants to find her first, and make her pay in ways she couldn’t imagine. Ava says she guesses prison won’t suffice, and Carly asks if it would had it been Kiki? Ava says no, but keep in mind that it wasn’t Olivia’s intention. Morgan shouldn’t have been in the car. Carly says you don’t get to plant a bomb and say oops, didn’t mean it, when there’s collateral damage. There’s nothing she could say or do to get Carly to forgive her.

Olivia-J tells Julian that he’s going to shoot Alexis. He laughs, saying that she’s missing the mark. He says Alexis and he are done; they have no love for each other. Olivia says that any fool can see he’s madly in love with her. She’s learned that pain and love are two sides of the same coin, and he’s learning that lesson. If he doesn’t do it, she will. She gives him the gun. He tells Alexis that he’s sorry, and shoots.

Sonny tells Jason and Sam to cherish every moment with the baby. He leaves, and Sam says she feels awful for him. Jason agrees, and asks how she is. She says fine right now, and snuggles against him.

Finn signs a request for a leave of absence, and thanks Elizabeth for her discretion. She says just make it count. Franco brings in a wheelchair to take Elizabeth back to work. Finn wants to take Hayden up on her offer of help, but feels that it’s something he needs to do on his own.

Dante confirms to Jordan that she needs to be checked out. Curtis is glad for another voice of reason.

The chain on the handcuffs is broken. Julian tells Alexis to run.

Epiphany comes to get Jordan. Jordan tells Curtis that he doesn’t have to wait, but he says he does.

Carly picks up an empty martini glass, and asks Ava if it was Olivia-J’s. Ava says Julian always said that Olivia was a lunatic, and he wasn’t kidding. She tells Carly that she doesn’t want to repeat the experience of meeting her, and Carly says she won’t have to, and smashes the glass against the wall.

Sonny calls in favors. He wants the bitch who killed his son.

Julian and Olivia-J struggle over the gun. Alexis starts to run and a shot goes off. Olivia looks into the water. Well, either Julian is in the water or Olivia is going to keel over into it.

Tomorrow, Carly talks to Morgan some more, Sonny asks Curtis for help, and Jake refuses to talk about what happened on the island with Helena.

Vanderpump Rules

Tom plays a trumpet while dog Charlotte gives him the side eye. Jax stops by, and asks about bringing Tom’s triplet brothers in for the wedding. He’s concerned about the expense because they’ve waited until the last minute. The triplets still live at home in Yuli, Florida. I mention the town because Tom says it’s some place no one has heard of, but I just sent an eBay order there not that long ago. Tom calls and asks if the brothers can make it if he and Jax spring for the tickets. Tom wants it to be a surprise, and Jax seconds that. Jax says the triplets love their brother, but aren’t the most responsible guys on the planet. I’d say so, since they’re still living at home and they’re not children. Or even college students.

The bridesmaids go for a fitting. Nice dresses! Katie shows up, and is impressed with how the girls look. She says everyone is going to look fantastic, especially her. Well, let’s hope so.

Schwartz has the responsibility of going to Dylan’s Candy Bar and getting candy for the wedding favors. Jax loads up on candy corn, and Tom says he’d rather let Jax bang his girlfriend than eat candy corn. I don’t know about that, but I personally find candy corn stomach-turning. Jax calls it a favorite Halloween treat. I didn’t even like it when I was a kid. It was one of those dud candies. Chocolate or die.

Stassi talks about some upcoming dates, but she doesn’t want to bring anyone to the wedding. She wants to hang out with her friends and stalk the eligible bachelors. They discuss Katie working on her anger issues.

Schwartz says he fell apart in NOLA and was a mess. Now, moving forward, he’s left lingering resentments behind. I’d actually be more concerned about Katie’s lingering resentments.

At SUR, Katie tells Jax and Scheana about her date night with Schwartz. Scheana says better to fix the problems now than after they have kids. She’s thinking about next summer for her, but Jax thinks that’s too soon. They talk about Stassi dating again. Scheana tells them that Shay is working on something special for her in the studio, but Jax wonders if it’s just avoidance.

Lisa finds two horses outside of the restaurant. She says there’s always an aura of magic and surprise in West Hollywood, and always expect the unexpected. She gets on one of the horses and rides into the restaurant. Not really, she rode about half a block, but that would have been cool.

In the restaurant, Lisa tells Jax he needs to be more heavy-handed in pouring Sangria. She tells him the glass is barely wet and in her interview, says he pours for her like he’s her date on prom night. He tells Lisa about Scheana wanting kids soon, and thinks Shay is avoiding her. He says he’s always thought she could do better, but Lisa says it’s not her business unless Scheana makes it her business. Thank you. And I wouldn’t blame Shay for avoiding this crowd if he wants to stay sober. I’m sure they have other friends, right? Right?

Stassi is doing a photo shoot to get her mojo back. If some of the photos are hot and not too risqué, she’s going to use them for her dating app. Seeing Tom dressed as a woman has encouraged her to up her game. She talks to Katie about the wedding, and says it’s getting real now. She realized how much she cared about their friendship when they were apart, and says it feels good to be friends again. The photographer has Stassi put on a barely there body suit. Stassi says there’s something liberating about letting it all hang out.

Brittany scares Jax by telling him that she discussed Schwartz’s with Kristen. She tells him to calm down, and reminds him that he’s the one with the biggest mouth in town. He claims Kristen is worse, but, no.

Raquel’s mother and sister come to visit. James says that dating her is a world of difference from dating Kristen, and I’m not repeating the analogy he gives. James tells them that he’s not working at SUR or PUMP anymore. He says he kept getting into “situations.” We flash back to him getting drunk and behaving like a rabid animal, and Lisa telling him that he’s turning into an a-hole before her eyes. He says he has a gig at a new restaurant, and he hasn’t been drinking. He promises that he loves Raquel, and the family thing means a lot to him. In his interview, he talks about his parents’ divorce, gets all teary, and says he sees a future with Raquel. Her mother proposes a toast, and everyone loves everyone.

Katie and Schwartz are getting ready to leave for the wedding. Stassi comes over to help them. They’re bringing a cake and a piñata. Stassi says the piñata is probably filled with condoms, gummi bears, Ninja Turtle action figures, and maybe some weed. Ha-ha! I love Stassi’s sense of humor. Schwartz says they like taking road trips, and he likes Katie doing the driving. Stassi takes a going away picture.

Lala shows up at SUR while Ariana is on her break. In her interview, Ariana says she hasn’t seen Lala since the birthday debacle, and it sounds like she’s not too interested. Lala has some things to say in person. She’s serious about how sorry she is. She tells Ariana that she’s embarrassed about her actions in not showing up for Ariana’s birthday. Ariana has been a good friend, and she’s sorry how she handled things. She tells Ariana that sometimes when she can’t manage her life, she goes into shut-down mode. In her interview, Ariana says she wants to give Lala another chance, but she’s not going to pretend nothing happened. Lala asks if Lisa is there, and asks Ariana to pray and/or give good vibes. She goes inside.

Lisa asks Lala what the hell happened. Lala explains about shutting down, and how when that happens, it’s f-u to everyone, and she does what she wants to do. Lisa says owning it doesn’t absolve her from taking responsibility. She had Lala’s back, and Lala let everyone down. Lala says she feels embarrassed and awful. Lisa says she left them hanging, but they survived without her. She doesn’t think Lala was honest with her life, and Lala says she doesn’t think anyone there is worthy of hearing about her life. Not too entitled sounding. Lisa is like fine, keep your life private then, but when you lie, don’t expect people not to call you on it. Lala gets weepy and says she’s different from other people, and her anxiety prevents her from doing a lot of things. Lisa tells her to grow from it. In her interview, Lisa says Lala’s entire strategy is being young and pretty, which isn’t going to last forever. She tells Lala to keep in touch.

Tom tells Katie he’s excited, but he misses his brothers.

Kristen and Carter are packing. Kristen explains the logistics. She asks if he knows about Schwartz’s brothers, and tells him about the surprise. She whispers like Schwartz is in the next room.

Oooh! A bear! Katie says it’s the first bear she’s seen, and Schwartz says there are bears all over West Hollywood. HAHA! (Google it.) They get to the cabin, and the venue people help them with the cake. The co-owner goes over expenses. An extra 10K for the flower additions. I faint. Aside from my bouquet, and bud vases for the tables, my flower budget was zippity-doo-da. I couldn’t justify buying flowers for an hour’s service, and the caterer/planner decided on the centerpieces. $51,058 is the grand total. I pick myself back up off of the floor again, and I can’t even repeat what Schwartz says in his interview. That’s a lot of money for a wedding in the woods. Katie thinks they should drink, write the check, and chill. I’d have to down a lot of booze to write a check in that amount for anything except real estate. I’d have to be drunk to begin with to spend that much on a wedding.

Kristen and Carter arrive. Schwartz says he could be clear of student loan debt, but instead he’s writing a check for flowers and a buffet. Student loans for what? Schwartz has a degree? What is he doing with his life? Stassi is next, bearing the piñata. Her friend Rachael is with her. They had some travel problems, and she says they ended up having to navigate by the stars. Katie tells her about the bear. She can’t believe everything the group has been through, and says being there together is a testament about how much they care about each other. She feels lucky to have a “framly.”

Tom missed his flight because he forgot his suit, but I don’t know if that’s just a story to cover for picking up the brothers. Schwartz talks about his dad not coming because of a flying fear, his sister having to work, and that his brothers not coming because of finances. I’m thinking if the wedding cost that much, what was another $1500 to get them there (which is what it ended up costing for three tickets at the last minute).

Jax says Schwartz’s brothers share a cell phone, so communication hasn’t been the greatest. He’s not going to relax until they’ve arrived.

Scheana is looking forward to spending time with Shay. She shows Shay a pantsuit she’s considering for the rehearsal dinner. He tells her that when he does laundry, he doesn’t even know what half the things are that she wears.

Giggy! Harrison! Lisa and Ken arrive with the dogs, Pandora, and her husband. The desk clerk tells them about the great hiking nearby, and Lisa says the last time she did a hike, it was to Neiman Marcus. Their room is bi-level and beautiful. Lisa can’t believe this is actually happening. Ken wonders If Schwartz is going to back out. We flash back to a few times when he’s quit what he started. Giggy!

Everyone manages to get to the venue in one piece, minus Tom. Schwartz tells Jax that his and Brittany’s room is where the saloon used to be. Ariana says Tom made it to the gate just as it closed, and she could see his nose pressed against the window glass as the plane took off. Okay, she didn’t say that exactly, but that was my mental picture. Jax tells Brittany he has to call Tom, since Schwartz’s brothers missed the flight

Next time, the gang goes tubing, the piñata happens, lots of booze is consumed, the brothers arrive, and the wedding begins.

🏖 Summer is finally over on Summer House. The most boring show ever. Weekend at Bernie’s is a better illustration of the Hamptons. It was tough for me to keep the names straight. Everyone looked alike, and I swear all the girls were named Lindsay. There was a Kyle and a Carl for God’s sake. Kyle was one of the few I could decipher, probably because the show started with him striking out with Stassi, who was spending a weekend there. In the finale, he made a commitment to his girlfriend, Amanda, whom he invited out for the final weekend. Most likely after discovering that no one else would have him. Sadly, the Pegasus pool float didn’t make it, and Carl had to stage a burial. He said that Pegasus deflated was the perfect metaphor for the summer, and I tend to agree. There was no indication of a reunion. Hope this group enjoyed the fifteen minutes they got off of Stassi’s coattails.

🍑 On The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Phaedra staged a weird friendship intervention that she called a “restoration meeting.” This made it sound like there was something spiritual about it, but it was more like a grievance airing. Cynthia could barely keep her eyes open, and to no one’s surprise, Porsha couldn’t understand why it was bad to make up criminally prosecutable lies about Kandi when she felt hurt. While for a moment, it was disquieting to think that Phaedra could be the voice of reason, as Kandi so aptly put it, the meeting was an epic fail. The saddest thing was Sheree having a come-to-Jesus moment about her ex, Bob Whitfield, who still doesn’t understand what he did wrong.

🗽 The Real Housewives of New York: How They Got Here airs on Wednesday, March 15, at 9 pm. As with Southern Charm, it’s a retrospective. I guess this is a thing now, and who can blame Bravo? Why not milk the franchises for all they’re worth? I’d hate to be that guy – and you know there was one – who thought Bravo was a complete waste of time and effort and would never turn a profit. Hopefully, he didn’t sell his stock.

 

March 7, 2017 – Olivia-J Recreates Duke, Candace Nails Her Mark, Erika Goes Home, a Little LA & Upcoming Shows

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Diane tells Lulu they don’t want to overplay their hand. Nina’s absence at the hearing will speak volumes.

Nora tells Valentin that she wouldn’t be a good lawyer if she misrepresented his chances. She asks if he and Nina could put aside their personal differences for Charlotte’s sake.

At Crimson, Laura tells Nina that she has nothing against her; they have a lot in common. She’s lost years of her life too. Nina asks why she’s there, and Laura says she thinks she knows a way they can both get what they want.

Jordan comes to the hospital and asks where Julian is.

Julian tells Anna that Olivia-J wants GH, and passes out. Andre and Jordan come in. Anna tells them that Olivia is alive, and did this to Julian. Jordan says she promises they’ll get to the bottom of it, but let them do their job. Anna says Olivia is in the hospital somewhere, and they can’t let her escape.

Griff wakes up strapped to a table. Olivia says she knew that bump on the head wouldn’t keep him down long; he’s just like his father. She tells him that she’d explain if there was time, but they’ve been found out. He says he knows who she is, and she tells him that she’s Olivia Jerome, the person he’s going to spend the rest of his life with. Great.

Diane tells Lulu that she brought the social worker’s report, and it will present the kind of parents they’ll be for Charlotte. Lulu tells Dante what a great dad he is. She wonders what’s holding up Laura.

Laura says it’s clear that Nina and Charlotte love each other. Nina says if Valentin gets custody, that’s not a problem. Laura says she heard they were having issues; Maxie texted her. Laura thinks Nina is questioning what she knows about Valentin.

Nora asks Valentin if they have Nina’s support. He says she’s accepted certain truths about his life, but is becoming increasingly uneasy with them. Nora says that it’s better that Nina not be there at the beginning, rather than disappearing later, and Valentin says he told her not to come unless she’s in it for the long haul. Nora says where she comes from, that’s called an old tomato ultimatum, and never ends well.

Lucas talks to Alexis about Sam. She can’t believe that she came so close to losing Sam and Scout, and that she’d almost started to believe Julian. Lucas is shocked that Olivia is back. Alexis hopes that she’s far away. Valerie comes out of the elevator, and asks them to come with her.

Julian says Fred Gray botched it. Jordan asks if Gray was working with Olivia-J, but Julian says he’s the one who brokered the deal. Anna wonders why Olivia would come back to GH. Jullian tells her that Olivia wants what’s underneath it.

Griff asks where he is. Olivia-J says they don’t have time for questions, but they’re under the hospital, and he’s as exhausting as Robin. He asks where Robin is, and Olivia says she’s safe. She marvels at his resemblance to Duke, and asks if Duke ever talked about her. He tells her that he never met his father, and found out about him through Anna, and Olivia says her name is not to be spoken. She lights a candle, and asks if he feels something. She says it must be hard to work here with his father’s soul locked in the walls. Griff says his father’s soul is at peace. Olivia says she heard him cry out for vengeance and justice, but he got none of those things. His soul is locked in GH’s walls. He won’t be free of this mortal coil unless she helps him to get a new life. He needs a vessel to return to, and because of Griff, he has one.

Valentin tells Nora that Nina is passionate and compulsive. She’s angry with him, and not without reason. He doesn’t want her to do something impulsive at the hearing, and says she should stay at the office. Nora says they can work with that, and spins it to make Nina a role model. He says Nora really is the best, but Nora says she’d feel better if Nina was beside him in court.

Nina says that Laura knows nothing about Valentin, her, or their marriage, and not to disrespect her in her office. Laura says she knows about the Cassadines, but Nina says that Valentin didn’t grow up with them. Laura says maybe it’s genetic, and they all use secrets as currency. She asks if Valentin left Nina in the dark about something, and Nina says it’s none of her business. Laura says maybe things will work out or maybe one day Nina will wonder who’s she’s sleeping next to. If they split up, she’ll never see Charlotte again. If Lulu gets custody, she’ll make sure Nina is in Charlotte’s life. Nina asks what she has to do in return.

Griff says Olivia-J is insane, and Olivia says she’s tired of hearing that. He says Duke is dead, and she can’t bring him back. She insists that she can bring back the love of her life. She lights a candle, and says when the flame goes out, Duke has returned. Griff says he knows she loved him, and it’s hard to accept. She wants him to drink some forgetfulness cleansing tea. She says some call it a metaphor, but they need to cleanse his body like a factory reset, so Duke’s soul can return. He says he’s not drinking it. She puts a funnel in his mouth. I have to laugh because it all looks so silly.

Anna asks Julian what he means about underneath the hospital. Andre says there’s a chance he doesn’t know what he’s saying. He asks if Olivia-J was ever a psyche patient, and Anna says yes, about a thousand times. Andre thinks her file might be of use, and asks Jordan to confer. He tells Anna she’s in no position to be playing super spy. She tells him that she’s the most qualified, and he says she’s also the most vulnerable because of being on blood thinners. Jordan says Olivia won’t get away. Anna says she doesn’t answer to Jordan, and Andre asks her not to do anything reckless.

Olivia-J tells Griff to relax. She says he’s a good son, giving his father a second chance to live. Duke would be proud. She tells him it will be over before he knows it, and takes out a scalpel.

Valerie tells Alexis that there’s a threat. Anna joins them, and tells her about Julian being attacked by Olivia-J, and that they think she’s still in the hospital. Alexis stomps off to find Julian. Anna tells Lucas about how Olivia wants what’s underneath the hospital. He tells her Tony was blackmailed into working in Helena’s lab under the hospital, but he figured the fire destroyed the lab. Anna deputizes him (sort of), and says Olivia wants Helena’s lab.

Valentin comes into the courtroom, and Diane tells Lulu to focus. Nora tells Valentin to stay calm and stable. Diane is a master at innuendo and rumor, and passing it off as fact. She tells him not to take the bait when she slings dirt. Diane tells Lulu to let Nina’s absence to speak for itself.

Laura tells Nina that neither Lulu or Valentin seem to be more qualified than the other. Nina says that Charlotte loves Valentin, and Lulu scares her. Laura asks her to testify that her marriage is a sham. Nina says it might be shaky right now, but her marriage is real. Laura says they’re already fighting, and asks if Nina is confident that their marriage can withstand Valentin getting Charlotte and not needing her anymore. Nina says that Laura is playing with her feelings. Laura admits she is, but nothing she’s said is a lie. Nina says Valentin has done nothing to hurt her, and Laura wants her to stab him in the back. Laura says she’s in control, not him. She can testify on his behalf or tell the truth and still keep Charlotte in her life. She asks Nina to think about it for Charlotte’s sake, and hopes she sees Nina in court.

Alexis bursts into Julian’s room.

Andre looks over Olivia-J’s hospital files. He says she was sent to Ferncliff after her dead brother tried to kill her. She was briefly in a coma, and reverted to a childlike state when she woke up. According to the notes, she believed she was a seven or eight-year-old. Andre says it can be a psychosis that’s a response to an emotional trauma where the mind retreats from reality. The person can’t process particular pain or loss, and latches onto a fantasy.

Anna goes to the hospital basement. She sees Olivia-J’s fingerprints by the secret door and opens it. Olivia drips Griff’s blood onto the candle flame. She talks to Duke, saying she’s prepared a vessel for him, and he has to choose to live again. The door opens, but it’s not Duke, it’s Anna.

Laura gets to the court just in time. Lou Judge Rawles asks for opening statements. Lulu goes first. Blah-blah-blah daughter I didn’t know about blah-blah feelings blah-blah a mother’s connection. Zzzzzzzz…. Wake me when it’s Valentin’s turn. Lulu says she can offer Charlotte a stable home and a brother who adores her (really? I don’t think they’ve been in the same vicinity more than twice), and a loving father. She asks for full custody.

Anna says, so she is alive. Olivia-J says it wouldn’t be a reunion for her and Duke without Anna crashing the party. Olivia holds up the scalpel, and says Duke is coming back. She’s found a body to house his soul, and unless Anna wants them both to be lost, she’ll put the gun down.

Alexis says if Julian hadn’t been such a tool, her granddaughter wouldn’t have been born in the cold. Julian gets sappy about having a new grandchild, but Alexis says he’s not going anywhere near her.

Anna puts down the gun. She tells Olivia-J not to hurt Griff, but Olivia says don’t tell her what to do. They struggle over the scalpel. Of course it has to be a scalpel.

Nina looks at the picture from Charlotte.

Valentin talks about how neither he nor Lulu were willing participants in the embryo implantation, but when he found out he had a child brewing, he found a surrogate. He was in the delivery room when Charlotte was born, and was with her for all her firsts. He’s already established that Charlotte knows and loves him, and he’s been the one constant in her life. He says Lulu is attached to idea of Charlotte in the abstract “my daughter,” but doesn’t know her as a person. She’s not a possession. She’s a beautiful little girl who needs stability and constancy. This is Charlotte’s life and childhood, and her needs are more important than his or the Falconaris’.

Anna and Olivia-J struggle over the scalpel.

Valerie says everyone is accounted for except Griff. Jordan says he’s Duke’s son.

More struggle. Anna tells Olivia-J to stop before someone gets hurt. Olivia says that Duke is coming for her, not Anna, and she’s going to make sure she’s dead this time. She throws Anna down, but Anna kicks her. Olivia slashes at Anna with the scalpel, and one or both of them flash back to when they were younger. (And so was I – sob!) Olivia tells Anna that she’s bleeding, and she is. A lot.

Diane presents the social worker’s report, and the judge wants a quick break to read it. Nora also has affidavits for her. Lulu says she almost believed Valentin’s statement. Diane tells her to focus on what they’re presenting; any character witness can swing things either way. Nina walks in.

Alexis asks Julian if it was his idea for Olivia-J to be her sponsor. Lucas comes in, and Julian says it wasn’t like that, and he has a lot to tell her. She tells him to save it; she’s done with him. She’s going home to throw the safe deposit key in the trash.

The candle goes out, and Griff wakes up with a start, startling me. Olivia whacks Anna a good one, and she’s out. Griff breaks the straps like he’s the Hulk.

Jordan wants the hospital swept. She goes to Julian’s room and says they think Olivia-J is targeting Griff. She asks Julian about the basement, and he says that Olivia has Anna.

Olivia-J is about to shoot Anna when Griff appears. Olivia asks, could it be? and Griff says, it’s him – Duke.  I gotta say, Griff looks super-hot, and I would swear he was really Duke come back from the dead if I didn’t think he was just trying to get the better of Olivia. Or is Duke really back? There were vampires in Port Charles at one time…

Tomorrow, Carly threatens Nelle, Nina tells the truth, and Olivia-J tells Griff that Anna has to die.

The Haves and the Have Nots

Hannah tells the desk sergeant that her daughter is Candace Young, and the sergeant asks her to wait there.

Rookie tells Justin he’s sorry for shooting at Jeffrey. Justin says they were just goofing around. Rookie says it looked like Jeffrey had gotten the best of him, and didn’t know Jeffrey was his friend. Justin insists Jeffrey isn’t his friend confusing all of us. Justin says he’ll squelch the report, so Rookie doesn’t get in trouble. The desk sergeant comes to get Justin, who apparently runs the police department.

Justin approaches Hannah. He asks if she knows where Candace is. She says she does, and he asks where. She asks how Candace is going to be arrested. Justin asks if she has weapons. Hannah doesn’t think so, and he says they’ll just ask her to come with them. She says she has Candace’s son, her grandson, and doesn’t want him to see her get arrested. Justin says they’ll do their best, and asks if Hannah can entice her outside. Hannah says she’ll try, but she wants to be sure. Justin promises they’ll wait for her to come outside to take her into custody. Hannah gives him the hotel and room number. She asks if he can wait until Quincy Jr. is on the school bus. He asks who she is to Candace, and Hannah tells him that she’s Candace’s mother. He asks if she knows how Quincy Maxwell died. She says she doesn’t, and Justin says he was stabbed over 40 times. Hannah tells him to look up Quincy’s record. Justin asks about Quincy and Candace’s relationship. Hannah says he was violent, and if she did anything, it was probably in self-defense. Hannah starts to get defensive herself.

Justin says there had to be more than one assailant. The medical examiner thinks there might have been a man involved, and he asks if Hannah can think of anyone. Hannah says she can’t, and Justin gives her his card. He says they don’t even have a warrant yet, so they’ll be waiting for her call. He tells her she did the right thing.

After Hannah leaves, Justin calls Jeffrey. Jeffrey doesn’t answer.

Charles tells Candace that he doesn’t know if he really wants the presidency. She says it’s POTUS, and asks if he knows how many men and women have dreamt of that. He says it can be stifling, and the bubble is small. He grew up in Detroit by way of Tennessee, and it’s debilitating. He loves politics, but not the Whitehouse. Not without his wife, raising his kids alone. He says he’s a good guy, and Candace says her chief-of-staff will hook him up.

Charles says he’s going to be president, and can’t sleep with a woman he just met. Candace says he’s single and they like each other, so what’s up with that? He repeats that he can’t. She asks if it’s the bubble or his wife. He says he was with his wife for fifteen years and doesn’t know how to do this. He says Candace seems bored, and she asks if he likes strong women. He says he does, and calls her beautiful, but he can’t do this. Candace says what if she told him she wasn’t interested in ever letting anyone know? He says he’s heard that before, and then it’s used against you. She asks what about her reputation, and he asks how he would ruin it. She says she’s worked for everything she has, and wouldn’t want to waste it. She wants people to know she worked to get where she is, so she’s not interested in ever letting this moment be known. He asks if she promises. She does, and he says he finds her impossible to resist. She says most men do.

She tells him to stop thinking and just be Charles for an hour or two. They start to make out. She leads him to the bed. Where there’s a bunch of crap. You might want to clean that off. They get busy in the middle of all the papers and books and stuff. Ow!

Jeffrey reads the texts from Justin, telling him how the police think more than one person was involved in Quincy’s murder. Veronica asks if she needs to take the phone away, and tells him to get in the room. He goes in and sits on the bed. Melissa comes out in lingerie. Jeffrey says that does nothing for him and she says it was Veronica’s idea.

Candace and Charles bask in the afterglow. Jeffrey leaves a message for Candace to call him back.

Melissa asks Jeffrey what’s going on; he seems bothered. He says she’s why he’s bothered, and she asks what’s really going on. She can tell there’s something else. He says he got in a fight. She asks if it was bad, and he asks if she’s acting like she cares. She says she’s not acting, but forget it. She asks if the officer outside was the lover who pissed him off, and by the body language, it seemed like something casual between them. He says yes, Justin is his lover and they just had sex and it was good. He goes on about it, but Melissa is unfazed. Jeffrey continues with TMI, and she rolls her eyes.

Veronica walks in and asks, what happened then? She heard him telling his story, so finish. Melissa tries to intervene, but Veronica says she’s not talking to her; she wants to know how low Jeffrey can go. She tells him, you work, Miss Thing, and he says she’s been drinking. She brings up Jeffrey testifying, and tells Melissa that he’s done all kinds of things to her, including putting a knife in her chest. She says he doesn’t understand she’ll always be here. She doesn’t know what was going on between him and Officer Too Friendly, but this is his future.

Melissa says if Jeffrey wants to be with a man, he should. Veronica starts laughing. She says Melissa is bought and paid for, and it’s not to think. She tells Jeffrey not to see that man again. He says he’s done, and she needs to let this go. He tells her to go to bed and sleep it off. She says she’s not afraid of him, and he calls her sick. She says she’s not trying to hurt him: she’s trying to make his life better. He says, by locking him up? She begs him to try a few more times. She’s giving him freedom, and he needs to honor it. She says enough disgusting talk, and asks Melissa what she thinks. Melissa says she doesn’t think. Veronica tells Jeffrey to enjoy his future wife.

Melissa apologizes to Jeffrey. She puts her hand on his shoulder and he tells her move. She says she’s sorry for everything, and for him being involved, and starts to cry. She says Veronica should be asleep by now, and he can leave; she’ll cover for him. Jeffrey says he doesn’t want her to do anything for him ever. Melissa says it’s wrong the way Veronica is treating him and holding her father over her head. She has Melissa the way she has Jeffrey. Her father worked hard his whole life, and she thought she could help. It seemed like a way out, but it’s deeper in. Jeffrey says he can’t go to jail.

She asks what he did, and he says murdered someone. She says with Veronica as a mother, she’s surprised he’s not a serial killer. She realizes he’s telling the truth, and he says she should be afraid of him. She says death doesn’t seem like that bad of an idea, and asks why he did it. He says he was being pushed. She asks if he’s being pushed now. He says yes, and he snapped. Melissa says she just needs enough money to take care of her dad. Veronica will be asleep on the couch soon. He says he’s not doing anything to his mom, and Melissa says she just meant if he wanted to see his friend, but he has to be back by 4 am, since she comes upstairs like clockwork. She tells Jeffrey good-night.

Oscar calls Jim. He has Wyatt’s address, and Jim says they used to own the building. Oscar says it will be hard to find out where the money is offshore, but he’s working on it. Jim is impressed. Jim calls George and says he’ll help him trap Candace in exchange for one thing. George says he’ll give him all the photos. Jim says that If he does this, he wants it over.

Jim looks outside and calls to Kathryn. He asks if Hannah has Amanda’s car. Kathryn says she gave it to her. Jim wonders what’s going on with the two of them.

Kathryn goes out to the car. Hannah tells her that she needs a criminal lawyer. Kathryn asks what she’s done now, but Hannah says it’s for her son and daughter. Kathryn says that Hannah knows how much she hates Candace, but Hannah says that Candace is still her daughter, and the favor is for her. Kathryn asks what Benny has to do with it, but Hannah says she can’t say. She asks if Kathryn will help her. Kathryn says she’ll make some calls, but as much as she hates the bitch, Veronica is the best. Hannah says that Veronica is her friend, and Kathryn is like, whatever you say. She tells Hannah that she’ll call Marty in the morning. Hannah thanks her, and says she has to get back.

Charles and Candace bask in more afterglow. They have pillow talk, and he asks how many men she’s been with. She says the only thing that matters is who she’s with at the time, but she used to see a lot of men. He asks what’s changed. She tells him that she’s getting older and wants to settle down. He asks for her story. She asks what’s his story, and he tells her that he’s running for president. She says most stories are more complicated, and he says the reality is that she can’t know. She asks why. Charles tells her that he wants to be president, he just met her, and they end up in bed. His wife would never have done this, since she was conservative. Candace thinks he’s a wannabe freak, and maybe his wife was too. He wonders if he said anything wrong, and she says no problem. He tells her that it would hurt a lot of people if this came out, and that he can’t have this come out. She picks up her phone and says she can.

Meanwhile, David and Erica are going at it. Erica sees War in the doorway.

Next time, the finale – Jim wants a night with Candace, Hannah asks Benny what he did, and Candace tells Charles that he messed with the wrong female.

Important information. If Loving You is Wrong starts its new season on Tuesday, March 21st, at 9 pm.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Harrison! Giggy! Schnooky! LisaV tells Ken that if she was Kyle, she’d be more pissed off at LisaR than Eden. She tells him about how LisaR called Kyle an enabler. He thinks she just says whatever pops into her head. I think he’s right. I have to mention, I’ve been thinking about Ken all week, and how emotional he got over the disgusting dog meat trade. Being British, he’s not the type to normally show his feelings, and I thought it took a very strong man to reveal that to the world. My husband bought something from Amazon made in China the other day, and I almost popped him in the nose.

Kyle meets Dorit for lunch. Erika meets Eileen for lunch in another location. Erika says she’s going to visit her mom in Georgia, and that her mom is in a play. She tells Eileen that her mother has had a resurgence, and Eileen calls it cute. Let’s not diminish another woman’s accomplishments or anything. Bleh. I’m liking Eileen less as this show goes on.

Kyle tells Dorit about an event happening at her store. They have some kind of drink debuting, and The Fat Jewish is going to help with the promotion. Dorit says that Kim was a rock star last night, and we flash back to her basically telling LisaR off.

In her interview, Eileen says LisaR can often get in trouble for what she says, but she’d rather deal with someone like her. She seems to think this falls under honesty, although many of the Wives have a skewed view of what that is. News flash. It doesn’t mean just saying whatever floats through your brain.

LisaR thinks that she and Kim had a moment of release and need to move on now. We flash back to them hugging it out, and Lisa thanking Kim for being open. Lisa says if you hang onto resentment and anger, it only poisons you. She talks some nonsense about positive energy.

Dorit says when someone keeps doing the same thing over and over, it’s hard to get past it. Dr. Phil calls this stepping on your foot. You can’t forgive someone for stepping on your foot if they’re still stepping on it. She says LisaR makes you think you can trust her, but you blink, and then you can’t. She says Kim and LisaR have been able to work things out – for now – but wonders how many times it’s going to happen. She gives Eden some leeway for being influenced by her relationship with her own sister.

Kyle meets with The Fat Jewish. She asks him to call LisaR out on saying she’s sick, but showing shoe shopping on her Instagram. He calls her, and she says she has the stomach flu. He says she was shopping earlier, but she says the doctor was next to Sak’s. Eden arrives with her friend, Dru.

Dorit trips out of the limo, literally, and Eileen and Camille arrive together. The event is in full swing, and Erika is drinking wine out of the bottle with a straw. LisaV wonders why Kyle is calling a Jew fat, and Kyle has to explain. She introduces The Fat Jewish to everyone. Erika gushes over some jeans. The Fat Jewish takes his shirt off and gives Kyle a lap dance. PK tells LisaV that Ken has been giving him a hard time all night. Erika compliments Dorit’s haircut, and Dorit says it’s the first compliment she’s ever gotten from her. Erika says it’s not, so we flash back and she’s correct. Dorit wonders why Erika seems to have a wall up.

LisaV talks about the trip to Hong Kong she’s taking to stop the dog meat trade. Kyle is coming along, because Ken can’t go, and suddenly, everyone else is coming too. In her interview, Lisa says why not invite The Fat Jewish as well.

Commercial break why do they advertise next week’s “whole new episode,” when we’re not done watching this week’s yet?

LisaV instructs her housekeeper about the different dressings she’s made for a lunch she’s having for Dorit, Erika and Kyle. They’re trying out a new wine for the restaurant and she wants to do it right. Dorit hugs Erika for way too long, and even I get uncomfortable. Kyle arrives, and announces that her sister Kim is a grandmother. She says there was quite a crowd at the birth. Lisa says she has a bone to pick with Erika, who invited Eileen to Hong Kong. In her interview, Lisa says the last time they went away, it was a bloody nightmare. She does think it’s a good idea for both LisaR and Eileen to promote the cause though, because they have a few dozen followers on social media. They agree that Eileen is a nice person, but Dorit says she wouldn’t trust her with her innermost secrets. Erika thinks she should only trust PK with those. Erika says she does have a couple of close friends, but she never wanted to be as trusting as her mother. She says she watches and measures when it comes to herself, although that doesn’t mean she’s not sympathetic or empathetic with other people. Dorit says she’s hard to read, and she’s trusting until someone gives her a reason not to be. In her interview, Kyle says she thinks she understands. Erika is guarded because people have judged her. Dorit says it makes her hard to read, and Erika says she’s a different animal.

Erika’s makeup artists, Clyde and Preston, accompany her in the private jet to Atlanta. She says she’s a Southern girl, and she’ll always be a tomboy too. She’s capable of both camping and glamming.

Kyle brings a family cradle to Kim for the new baby. Kim shows her pictures. Kim says it was the most amazing experience of her life. Kyle tells Kim about the trip to Hong Kong. Kim still isn’t sure about the experience at Kyle’s party. She says LisaR is always like, I made a mistake, and Kyle does an imitation of her saying, “own it.” Kim says she doesn’t have the energy to expel for these people, and I relate.

Erika rents a car and heads to her grandparents’ house. Her mom’s fiancé, Chip, greets them. She says it’s great and emotional at the same time. They look at family photos. She talks about how her grandparents always came to the rescue when her mother needed help, and her grandfather was the only father she ever knew. She tells Preston and Clyde about her grandmother’s battle with Alzheimer’s, and it sounds dreadful. She used to speak to her grandmother every day, and when the phone calls stopped, that was the hardest part. She says it was a marker that the woman she knew was no longer, and to see someone so vibrant and strong slip away is inhumane.

Erika’s mom, wearing a Pat the Puss T-shirt, gets home, and we see where Erika got her good looks from. In her interview, Erika tells us that her mother was a piano teacher, but Erika stunk at piano, so she became a singer and dancer. Her mother was 18 when she had Erika, and did the best she could. Erika says she was never cut any breaks, but her mother loved her and wasn’t a bullsh*tter. She says it was like throwing a kid in a pool to learn to swim, but she didn’t drown. Her mom talks about the play. She thinks it’s good to be involved in something like theater, because it keeps her going and alert. Erika says it’s important to be creative and continue to express herself. Thank God she didn’t say it was cute.

Giggy! Harrison! Ken! LIsaV and Ken go to the dog rescue. Lisa is so excited, she slides down the bannister. She wants to make the rescue center like a lifestyle shop. She says there’s going to be a spa where Vanderpups can get the best blow job in Hollywood. Ha-ha! That LisaV, she’s a real card.

LisaR comes by. Giggy is too precious for words with his little bald behind and pom-pom paws. LisaR says she’s still not 100% well. LisaV explains that they started Vanderpump Pets as a company, but then they realized what was happening in China, so they expanded operations and are also making a documentary. She tells LIsaR they need someone on all fours, and asks her if she’d like to come along to Hong Kong, and put the Dubai trip behind them. In her interview, she says that she wants to mend fences, but isn’t going to forget what happened. It’s not a grudge; it’s being smart. I’m totally on board. That LisaV, she’s also very wise. LisaR is glad to hear it. She’s moved on, but hearing this from LisaV is like getting a bonus check. LisaV asks for LisaR’s feather eyelashes as some kind of commitment, but in her interview, she says she wants LisaR to leave with bald eyes. LisaR hands her lashes over, and in her interview, LisaV says maybe she can manipulate LisaR, and wonders if she’ll carry the bags.

Commercial break with important information. The Real Housewives of New York starts its new season on April 5th, Wednesday, at 9 pm.

In the morning, Erika and her mom go to the cemetery. They take a golf cart to go in. Her mother says she has a fear of being buried and wants cremation. In her interview, Erika says she was closer to her grandmother. I hate to say this, but this looks like a pet cemetery. The headstones are like flattish rocks and it’s in the middle of a forest. I don’t see any other graves around either. What’s going on with this??? They put flowers by the stones, and sit to talk. Erika says she didn’t want to cry today, and her mom says she didn’t cry as a kid. Erika says she was treated like an adult a lot, but she knows her mom was under a lot of pressure. Her mom says it made her a tough old bird (geez, how old is Erika? 40?), and Erika says she gets accused of being cold. She has little patience for crybabies and people who need a lot of hand-holding. I can understand where she’s coming from. I’m not unsympathetic either, but when someone is whining about the same problem they were whining about five years ago, I tend to think they don’t really want to resolve the problem, and start to inch away. Erika’s mom says she’s the sweetest, and Erika appreciates her feelings being validated. Her mom tells Erika that she’s been good to the family, and her grandparents would be proud. We end with a hug.

Next time, Hong Kong phooey, the girls discourage Eden sleeping with someone she doesn’t know, LisaR confronts Dorit, and Erika calls Dorit on her bs. Sounds like it’s not going to be a great trip for Dorit.

A Few Randoms

🔫 ImpostersUma Thurman is the best! Anything with her in it is always worth watching.

🍑 Southern Charm: How They Got Here, March 8th at 9 pm. How they got where? I looked at the blurb in the digital guide and it looks like a retrospective of previous seasons.

💃 Little Women: LA highlights – Matt told Briana he wanted to train to be an MMA fighter, and she asked if he wants to fight people. When he replied, “Well, they don’t fight animals,” I nearly died laughing. Terra gathered the girls to explain that she’s not dying, and until a doctor tells her to stop doing Dancing with the Stars, she’s sticking with it. Christy signed up to have neck surgery, and Elena and Tonya went to a spa for some kind of freezing treatment that’s supposed to help with inflammation. Briana is also dealing with postpartum depression, and Jasmine begged her to get some help before it gets worse.

March 6, 2017 – Nora Buchanan Comes to Port Charles, SUR’s Annual Photo Shoot & Scary Summer House

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Diane goes the bar and orders a double espresso because she needs extra caffeine for the case coming up. She gets chatty with the woman next to her. She talks about her opposing counsel, Nora Buchanan. Which is who she’s sitting next to, although she doesn’t know it yet. I guess she never watched One Life to Live.

Nina deals with the ringing phones in the office. Valentin comes in, and hangs up the phone. Nina is still annoyed with him about Anna.

Anna is packing up. Dante sees her checking her weapon. He asks if she’s leaving, and she says that’s a good observation. He asks if her doctor knows. She thanks him for caring, but says she’s not going to just wait there while Olivia-J is alive and on the loose.

Franco gives Elizabeth a ride to work, and they flirt in the garage. He points out that Ava and Julian have a sister crazier than they are. He says crazy doesn’t discriminate, and he wants her to be safe.

Dante talks to Anna about Olivia-J’s obsession with Duke. He says there’s a good chance Olivia is out to get her, and she says she’s counting on that.

Olivia-J has Robin prisoner. She tells her that they have a lot of work to do, and need to get cracking. She is a lot of fun. I guess that’s why they made her kooky/aggressive instead of just aggressive. It gives leeway to bring her back again.

Elizabeth tells Franco that Olivia-J does give her the creeps. He asks about Sam. Elizabeth says she’s doing well, considering. Franco suggests she not to talk about it if Jake can hear. He explains about his conversation with Jake, and how Jake said Sam had a bad curse on her.

Olivia-J tells Robin that it’s a blast from the past, and congratulates Robin on her success. She takes the tape off of Robin’s mouth. Robin says everyone thought she was dead, but Olivia says she’s back and better than ever, and that circumstances dictated her return. Robin asks if it has anything to do with her family. Olivia says it has to do with the murder of her one true love, Duke.

Anna leaves a message for Robin. She complains to Dante about Robin being over-protective, and Dante says that Robin was just concerned for Anna’s health. Anna says she’s not an invalid. She tells him that they have to get Olivia-J out of hiding, and she’s the perfect bait. Griff is in the doorway, and says he hopes she’s talking about her dating life.

Valentin tells Nina that he wasn’t with Anna, and gives Nina a picture that Charlotte drew for her, saying that Charlotte was asking for her. She wants to see Nina in the morning, and so does he. Nina says she loves being Charlotte’s stepmother, but doesn’t love him keeping secrets.

Nora says it sounds like Diane has a fight on her hands. Diane goes on about covering all the bases, and realizes that she’s doing all the talking. Nora says she knows who Diane is, an attorney by day and novelist by night, and asks when the new book is coming out. Diane is flattered that she has a reader, and says lately her duties as an attorney have been taking up all of her time. It’s nice to see Nora again. I got to meet her on the OLTL set, and she was lovely and gracious. Actually, all of the people there were, both cast and crew. Bo winked at me. Ah, memories!

Franco tells Elizabeth that Jake has some unresolved issues about being on the island with Helena, which he pronounces He-leen-a. Elizabeth says that Jake seems fine, and thinks he just needs to be a kid for a while. She asks Franco to pick her up later.

Diane says normally she doesn’t take custody cases, and Nora asks why this one. Diane tells her that she’s on retainer for a particular man with a particular reputation, and he wanted his daughter-in-law to have the best representation possible. Nora asks how she wins a custody case, and Diane talks about discrediting the other parent without looking like a shark, and that the focus should be on the best interest of the child and trying to compromise.

Laura and Lulu walk in. Diane is about to introduce them, and says she didn’t catch Nora’s name.

Nina asks Valentin why Anna broke in, and why it doesn’t make him angry. He says he doesn’t know how he would have reacted if Anna hadn’t collapsed, but she did, and he doesn’t want to make her life more miserable. He says Anna is the past, and Nina and Charlotte are the future. He asks if they’ll be able to present a united front at the custody hearing.

Griff says he’s not signing off on Anna’s paperwork, and Finn isn’t either. Dante tells her not to do anything stupid because he’ll be in court. They wish him luck.

Robin asks if Olivia-J wants revenge on Julian ordering the hit on Duke. Olivia says that by the time she was able to reunite with Duke, Julian had taken him away again. She’s come back to right Julian’s wrong; she has to restore balance at General Hospital. Robin asks what that means. She says obviously she has to bring Duke back. Obviously.

Nina tells Valentin that she didn’t realize how different they are. His spy training was good, because he’s impossible to read, while she wears her heart on her sleeve. She’s angry and confused, and Valentin says she should think about what she wants, meanwhile he’ll be in court fighting for it.

Valentin comes into the bar and introduces his attorney, Nora, to everyone.

Elizabeth comes back to the garage, and Franco admits he’s the new garage attendant. He says it was available, and she has three boys to take care of. She says he’s charming, talented, and thoughtful. They lean against a car to kiss, and hear something in the trunk.

Olivia-J says she would think that someone with Robin’s skills, knowledge, and education would be more aware. She’s studied every culture and philosophy, and seen miracles happen. She’s expanded her consciousness. She tells Robin that death is a transitory state, and sometimes we need to give life a happy end. Robin is like, are you resurrecting Duke in the hospital basement? Olivia says don’t be stupid; they’re in a boiler room, but they need GH. She opens a secret door, saying this is it; this is the lab where Helena breathed new life into Stavros.

Anna says she’s following all the rules, and Griff says Finn told him that she’s just following the rules she likes. After mumbling about patient/doctor confidentiality, she tells Griff that a higher priority has emerged – Robin.

Olivia-J looks around the lab, bringing Robin along. Robin thought it had been destroyed. Olivia says she found out it wasn’t, and asks Robin if she’s familiar with the machines. Robin says she is, and they look damaged, but she’s a doctor, not an engineer. Olivia asks how Helena resurrected her son. Robin says Stavros wasn’t exactly dead. The machines just kept him alive while he was healing. She says the machines aren’t going to work on Duke; he’s not coming back.

The car alarm goes off and Elizabeth calls for help. She pops the trunk open, and Franco says it couldn’t happen to a nicer guy. Elizabeth sees Julian in the trunk.

Nina looks out the window, not getting any work done. She flashes back to Valentin telling her he loves her, and how she was afraid of saying it back. She thinks about Valentin telling her that Anna is the one stuck in the past, and Nina is hung up on what the other men in her life have done to her.

Diane tells Nora that her reputation does her justice, and she’ll be a formidable opponent. Nora says she’s right about compromise being the name of the game – unless her client refuses to compromise. Diane says this is the first time they’ve met, but she learned something. Nora says her too, and leaves with Valentin. Diane tells Lulu and Dante that Valentin has a good lawyer, but theirs is better.

Anna says she thinks Olivia-J wants to exact revenge on Julian, and that she was madly in love with Duke. She tells Griff about how she was pregnant with Duke’s baby, and Olivia rigged the elevator to crash and she has a miscarriage. Griff asks if that was the intention. Anna doesn’t know, but it served Olivia’s purpose. She has to find Olivia before she targets Robin. Hurting Robin is the surest way to hurt her. Elizabeth runs in, saying she’s there about Julian.

Olivia-J asks if Robin is all science and no faith. Robin says she wishes they could bring Duke back too, but it’s not how the machines work. Helena had Stavros’s body, but Duke was cremated. Olivia takes something out of her bra, saying she’s been carrying it for years. I could make a lot of jokes here, but moving on. It’s a lock of Duke’s hair, and she says the DNA should be enough. Robin says it’s not. Olivia says she can’t give up on Duke, and Robin says she understands. She lost her first love too, but can’t bring him back, the same way she can’t bring back Duke. All they can do is live their lives in their loved one’s honor, and Duke would want Olivia to be happy. Olivia says it’s not possible without him. Robin says she’s moved on, and Olivia can too. Robin reaches toward Olivia, and Olivia drops the vial. It shatters, and she tells Robin, look what you made me do.

Olivia-J says Robin destroyed the last pieces she had of Duke. Robin says that’s not true; he left a piece of himself in each of their hearts. Olivia says that’s not good enough. She says Robin did have one good idea though. Maybe he left another piece of himself.

Anna asks how Julian is. Griff says it’s not that severe, and he’ll recover. Anna is having the car checked out. She wonders why Olivia-J would leave Julian alive. Perhaps there’s another reason she came to town, other than getting even with him. She says good thing Olivia doesn’t know about Griff.

Diane apologizes for her lapse in judgement, saying it won’t affect the case. Lulu says Valentin murdered her brother, but Diane reminds her that there’s no proof. It helps their case that he’s had an unsettled undocumented life, but Nora will present him in the best light possible.

Nora tells Valentin that Diane is good. When she found out who Nora was, she barely blinked. She makes a nice living making sure Sonny stays out of prison and gets what he wants. Valentin says that’s why he hired Nora. She tells him to be careful how he presents himself. She asks about Nina, and he says he doesn’t know if she’ll be joining them. At all.

Nina calls Charlotte. She says she’s sorry she couldn’t tuck her in, but she had a grown-up work thing. She promises she’ll make it up to her. She asks what Charlotte wants her to do, and if Charlotte would like to sing with her. She sings as she looks at a photo of the three of them, and starts to choke up. Oh come on, we know you’re going to help. Get to the hearing already.

Lulu says Maxie texted her, saying Valentin and Nina are on the rocks. How she knows this, I’m not sure. Lulu says that if the marriage is unraveling, they’re not providing Charlotte with a stable home, and Diane says they can spin this. Lulu says they have to act fast while the problems are hot.

Nora tells Valentin to apologize, whatever it takes, get Nina there. He says it’s not going to happen. She says he’s a man with a questionable past, while Lulu has stacks of affidavits to support her as a parent. If he doesn’t present to the court that he’s the preferable parent, he’ll have to share custody or lose it entirely.

Lulu tells Dante that they should take advantage of the situation. Dante says they could push Nina away from Valentin or back into his arms.

Nina looks at her calendar, seeing the entry for the hearing. Laura comes in. Nina says it’s not a good time. Laura says she’ll want to make time; she has a proposition.

Griff asks Anna to be careful. She promises she will. Anna says if he sees Robin, tell her to stop dawdling, but she’s not leaving Julian until the police get there. Griff leaves, and Anna calls Julian a cat with nine lives. He asks where he is, and she tells him he’s in the hospital, and that he was found tied up in the trunk of a car. She asks if Olivia-J did this.

Olivia gets in the elevator with Griff.

Anna asks Julian where Olivia is, and why she put him in the trunk. He says she’s here and never left.

Griff remembers Olivia from the garage. She’s flattered that he recognizes her, and says she could never forget him. He reminds her of her one true love, his father, Duke.

Tomorrow, Laura tells Nina that they can both have what they want, Anna asks Julian where Olivia-J is, and Olivia-J kidnaps Griff.

Vanderpump Rules

Everyone manages to get back from Vegas without getting arrested. Jax shows Lisa their drag pictures. She tells Tom that he looks better as a woman. She asks if Schwartz and Katie had a good time, but Jax says they didn’t sleep in the same bed for the first two nights and fought 80% of the time. Lisa decides to talk to Katie.

Scheana and Ariana talk about the fighting. Ariana doesn’t think it’s a good solution to bottle up the problems until after the wedding. She wonders how you retrain yourself not to fight like that.

Harrison! The SUR photo shoot is coming u,p and we flash back to the previous ones. This year’s theme is indulgence. Lisa asks Katie about the fighting during the party weekend, but she passes the blame to Schwartz. Lisa says if they keep going in that direction, they could lose each other. In her interview, Lisa says this is more than pre-wedding jitters, and if they can’t get along on vacation, how are they going to get it together IRL?

Stassi and Kristen go to lunch. Kristen brings her dog Gibson along. He’s a certified service dog; she got him a card for $79. She says she won’t stab James in the heart while Gibson is with her, so whatever works. Stassi fills out a dating app profile on her phone. She tells us that desperate times call for desperate measures, and she does not want to date any more bartenders.

Katie and Schwartz visit Lisa. Schwartz doesn’t trust the swans. I probably wouldn’t either. Lisa asks what they still have to do. Katie says they still have some catering stuff to deal with, and one more thing. A guy dressed like a butler comes to the door. He proclaims Lisa the fairest in the land, and tells her that Katie and Schwartz request that she officiate at their nuptials. She tells them that she’s totally overwhelmed and didn’t expect it, and Schwartz says they wanted something special. Lisa tells them she takes marriage seriously, and the way they’ve been behaving gives her cause for concern. We flash back to Katie telling Lisa about various fights with Schwartz. Lisa says it has to be a new chapter in their lives, and she wants to make sure they’re taking responsibility. Schwartz says everything they’ve been through has overshadowed the relationship. Katie starts to cry.

In her interview, Katie says they have big problems, and they have to face them. She tells Lisa that she wants to be with Schwartz. She says they let themselves forget who they were, and she and wants to get back to that. Lisa wants to know they’re really committed to each other before she agrees.

The kids go to the beach for some sun, and drinking in a different atmosphere. Stassi says she had a date and made out all night long. She’s not looking for anyone to put a ring on it though – unless the ring is really big. Schwartz tells them about asking Lisa to officiate, and how they ended up having a sit-down and it got heavy. She wants to make sure they love each other before she says yes, and Schwartz agrees it’s been a disaster lately. Tom says the friends have overstepped boundaries, but it was out of concern. Dolphins! (I’m like a person with ADD when I see animals.) In his interview, Tom says that only Lisa has the balls to say what everyone is thinking.

Schwartz suggests that he and Katie not be a-holes anymore. Good luck with that, especially hanging around this crowd. He says they’re supposed to be unflappable, but they’ve been majorly flappable. He almost picks up something on the beach, but Katie tells him not to touch it; it’s a tampon. Ugh! This is a HUGE pet peeve of mine, since I live near a beach. Anything plastic really.

Lisa goes to the stables to visit Prince Tardon, her new horse. Ariana comes along to go riding with her. In her interview, Ariana says she doesn’t know if she could have a bigger lady crush on anyone. Me too. She tells Lisa that she talked to Schwartz, and Katie feels guilty. In her interview, Lisa is glad they’re taking her seriously, but they have a lot of work to do. She asks Ariana if she’s ever getting married, but Ariana is not too keen on babies. Lisa says talk to her in five years.

Stassi visits Kristen. She says she’s a recovering serial monogamist, and it’s the first time she’s dated in seven years. She’s going on a blind date tonight, and says he has the best Instagram she’s ever seen – no gym selfies. Kristen wants her to bring condoms, but Stassi says she’s not doing anything on a first date. Kristen thinks she needs to break down the wall she’s put up. I dunno. It looks like she’s doing just fine to me. These days, it probably isn’t a good idea to not have sex right off the bat. To be honest, it probably wasn’t in my day either, but we had fewer STD and STV concerns.

Tom is treating the guys to a spray tan session at Jax’s house. What happened to lunch at a restaurant? On top of it, he calls it a “sesh,” which makes me cringe. Schwartz announces that he and Katie had sex last night. Tom says mission accomplished. Schwartz asks who can get ordained quickly in case Lisa says no. In his interview, he says having Jax do it would be like Lucifer baptizing you.

Stassi meets blind date David. She says it’s like interviewing someone to evaluate if you eventually want to have sex with them. Kinda. They start with some wine and nice to meet yous. It sounds like he does something with computers, and when he tells her that he gets up at 7 am, she nearly has a coronary. Stassi is convinced that she’s pretty because she sleeps late. She talks about feeling pressured with her last relationship, but says maybe she felt that way because he was the wrong person. In her interview, she says that David is the kind of guy she should want to date, but she’s not feeling it. I have to say it, he does seem boring, and I understand why. Sorry, David.

Schwartz brings home some props for the photo shoot. There’s a pig with an apple in his mouth (I assume papier-mâché), a bunch of grapes, and other food items. Schwartz puts a towel over the pig’s head, saying the eyes are following him. Katie goes over the wedding budget. In his interview, Schwartz says Lisa suggested they be in each other’s presence and reaffirm their love, so they’re trying. He tells her that he feels terrible about what happened in Vegas, but she says she wants to leave it behind them. In her interview, she says she has no more doubts about him, and got the answers that she needed. He says he just wants to get take-out and watch Pauly Shore movies with her for the rest of their lives. Really? He’s not sounding much better than David. Worse. At least David has his Instagram going for him. In his interview, Schwartz says his confidence over the wedding has wavered, but in the past few days, they’ve brought back the reason they’re doing it.

Time for the photo shoot. It’s Brittany’s first, and she says she feels like part of the family. Ariana says it’s like the awkward office Christmas party you have to go to, but at this party, she’s naked. That actually sounds like one of those recurring nightmares. A table is set with a sumptuous feast, the pig at the center. Jax thinks they should update the website with the new photos, since they still show Kristen and Stassi, who haven’t worked at SUR for years. Tom has come prepared for anything – formal, casual, bright colors, muted colors. The photographer takes some shots of the girls fully dressed first.

Stassi and Kristen go out for lunch. I don’t know what it is, but it looks good. Thai maybe? Kristen gets a text from the girls about the photo shoot, saying be glad you’re not here. Stassi says her date was nice, but she needs a man. She wants to be the young skank, not be left for the young skank. Kristen thinks she needs someone who has their sh*t together, and in LA, that doesn’t happen until they’re in their 30s. Jax aside. They discuss Katie and Schwartz. Stassi thinks Lisa is smart to hesitate over officiating at the wedding. Then can’t believe she said that.

Photos are taken of Lisa with the guys in formal wear. Katie asks Scheana for tips about the wedding, since she’s never even been in one. Scheana says she feels a little left out; she misses their individual closeness. Katie says she didn’t realize Scheana was feeling excluded, and Scheana is just as important to her as ever. Scheana gets weepy, and tells Katie that she wants to be included.

Lisa sets up a shot of Tom and Ariana, suggesting they fornicate on the table. Only Lisa can get away with using that word. In his interview, Tom instructs us on how to hide an erection if you need to. ♫ LA-LA-LA! ♫ Several photos are taken.

Schwartz and Katie talk privately, although Tom walks past and makes faces at them. Schwartz wonders if they should have a back-up in case Lisa says no. Lisa comes by, and says that’s how she wants to see them, smiling and happy, but not now because they have to get moving. Pictures are taken of Schwartz, Katie and a rose. Lisa is glad they’ve taken her advice to heart.

Brittany tells Jax he looks handsome, but I think he looks uncomfortable. She wonders why he didn’t return the compliment, and he says he told her that she looked pretty twice, and that should be enough. He’s such an oaf. I never even use that word, but it totally applies here.

The group shot is taken at a table with more lavish meal stuff. In her interview, Lisa likes having the photo shoot to document the history of SUR. Giggy! She says it’s like an extended family.

While out to dinner at SUR, Schwartz says he feels like he and Katie have gone through twenty years of relationship in five years. Katie says they looked at each other and their relationship through other people’s eyes, and it changed things. Lisa joins them and asks how they’re doing. Katie says they’ve been paying attention to the small things, like kissing each other good-by. Schwartz asks Lisa what her answer is, and she says now she’ll be happy and honored. She says they deserve each other, but in a good way. They’re both lovely people.

Next time, Lala is back, Stassi gets glamour shots taken, James meets Raquel’s mother, and Jax and Tom cook up a surprise for Schwartz.

🏖  Just a note about Summer House, which I’ve been watching (God help me), but not recapping. Why bother? Sex, fight, rinse, repeat. The really bizarre thing, the thing that bothers me the most, isn’t that this is like The Real World  for adults (the more current seasons of The Real World, not the first ones, which were actually interesting), but that they sound like they’re rejects from Vanderpump Rules. They have accents like Valley girls, and one of them even said “gag me with a spoon” tonight. They didn’t move the Hamptons, right? The Hamptons is still on the east coast, right? Where did they get these people? This show frightens me. I could blow the SUR kids off, citing coastal and age differences, again with the exception of Jax, but this group is in their 30s and Long Island is still in New York, right? The antics of this bunch belong in a frat house, and it isn’t even appropriate there. The finale is next week. This has been one long summer.

🍹 Although Kyle did give one of the best quotes ever: I am way to drunk to deal with this right now.

February 28, 2017 – Hallelujah! GH is Saved, Candace Hits a Big Mark, LisaR Confesses & Little LA Returns

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Jason talks to Spinelli on the phone, saying he can’t find Sam. He asks Spinelli to hack into the highway cameras. He continues calling for Sam, but she can’t reply loud enough for him to hear her.

Julian tells Olivia-J that Sam is pregnant and fell off a bridge. Olivia says she can’t help it if Sam was so stupid to get in her way.

Finn looks at the pharm guy’s card. He asks if a vote has been made, and Monica says they’re waiting. In the boardroom, Obrecht is glad she could put an end to it. Michael tells Tracy that’s how it works; sometimes the vote goes against you.

Nelle calls Michael and leaves a message. She says she’s at work, and everything she needed to do is done. She’ll see him later.

Not so fast. She opens the door, and Bobbie is standing there.

Carly puts the flash drive into Nelle’s laptop. She hears Sonny say that under no circumstances should Carly know that he and Nelle had sex. Her phone rings. It’s Sonny, but she doesn’t pick up.

At the hospital, Sonny wonders why Carly isn’t answering. At Nelle’s apartment, Carly hears Sonny saying it’s his fault and he takes full responsibility.

Tracy tells Michael that her father didn’t have time for failures. She asks how much Obrecht got for her vote. Obrecht says her conduct is above reproach. She says if the Quartermaines are determined to own a hospital, why don’t they buy one? Tracy says that General Hospital is the best there is, and it’s not going down on her watch. She walks out, but they need her to certify the vote.

Tracy tells Hayden that they lost. Monica says GH is gone. Michael sees Sonny, and tells him they’ve voted to sell the hospital for real estate. Sonny asks if he needs money, but Michael says in the end, it was more about politics. Michael sees the call from Nelle, and tells Sonny that he has plans with her and has to go.

Nelle tells Bobbie that Carly has the day off, and Bobbie says she knows. Bobbie gets snarky, and Nelle asks if anything is wrong. Bobbie says things are finally right again. Nelle might as well pack her bags; her game is over.

Carly plays the file again, and hears Nelle says that maybe they should tell the truth. Carly thinks back over the past few months. She closes the laptop and cries.

Sam can hear Jason, but he can’t hear her. He tells Spinelli he needs some help. Sam says don’t go. Jason tells Spinelli to call him back. He says he could use a sign right now, and looks everywhere except where Sam is, and she passes out.  The full moon comes out from behind the clouds, and he finally sees her.

Olivia-J tells Julian that she did nothing wrong, and would never intentionally harm a child. She says she never gets any sympathy from him, even though he tried to kill her. Julian says he’s been running around in circles, doing her bidding for months. She says that’s only because she blackmailed him. He never made amends to her, and he hasn’t changed. He’s selfish and self-absorbed, the way he was when he shot her in the back years ago. She, however, is a new woman. She has grown, and isn’t a pushover anymore. It’s time he learned that. I don’t think I would have ever called Olivia a pushover.

Jason calls for an ambulance, and slides down to Sam. She tells him about Olivia-J and seeing the keyring in the car, and he says he knows. She says the contractions are coming too fast.

Hayden tells Finn that Laura wasn’t there, and Tracy says as long as there’s a majority vote, it’s legal. Monica says Obrecht broke the tie, and she cut off her nose to spite her face. Finn asks for fifteen minutes, telling them to stall.

Sonny says he thought Michael and Nelle were just friends. Michael says things changed last night, and tells Sonny about getting stuck in the cabin. Sonny wonders if Nelle asked for a ride there, and Michael says he’s the one who offered. Tracy interrupts, telling Michael she needs him. Sonny stomps to the elevator.

Nelle says she doesn’t know what Bobbie is talking about, and can’t catch a break with her. She says except for the one time they argued, she’s only been respectful and accommodating. Bobbie obviously dislikes her, but they should move on for Michael’s sake; he doesn’t share her opinion. Bobbie says that’s because he doesn’t know the truth. She tells Nelle that she destroys anyone who targets her family.

Carly wanders around Nelle’s apartment, and flashes back to various interactions with Nelle and Bobbie. She thinks about Nelle talking about her secret boyfriend. Come on, Carly, you’re smarter than this. She talks to herself, saying Nelle doesn’t know anything about payback, but she will.

Olivia-J tells Julian that she’s tired of him arguing with her. She could have killed him months ago, but didn’t. He says she tried, but she says she wasn’t successful and apologized. She wishes she could believe him, but when she looks at him, she sees such little growth. She says he murdered Duke, and would test the patience of Buddha. She thinks it might be doing him a favor to kill him, so he could start over. She doesn’t think he can be saved in this incarnation.

Sam tells Jason the baby is coming, and he says they can do this. She tells him that she’s scared there’s something wrong. He tells her to breathe.

Nelle says Bobbie doesn’t think she’s good enough for Michael. Bobbie says that’s an understatement, but he’ll find out who she really is, and that she messed with his family. Nelle says she caught on to Felicia. She didn’t tell Carly the whole truth because it’s not a happy story. She says she truly cares for them, and wants what’s best. Bobbie asks how was it best when she slept with Carly’s husband?

Carly says this can’t be happening, and flashes back to what Bobbie told her, and some questionable moments with Sonny when they talked about Nelle. She opens the door to Sonny standing there.

Nelle asks what Bobbie is talking about, and Bobbie says Nelle and Sonny making fun of her daughter. She tells Nelle to sit down and shut up. She calls Nelle a conniving little tramp who took advantage of Carly’s generosity. What’s really vile, is how she used Morgan’s death to worm her way into Sonny’s bed. Nelle says she doesn’t understand. Bobbie says she knows what she needs to know, and so does Carly.

Sonny asks why Carly is at Nelle’s apartment. Carly says Nelle is her assistant; why is he there? He says he was trying to call, and she didn’t pick up. She says why not talk here.

Jason tries to keep Sam calm, but she still thinks something is wrong. She makes him promise that he’ll take the baby home. Port Charles has the Slowest. Ambulance. Ever.

Tracy comes back to the meeting with Monica and Hayden. Obrect objects to them being there, and Gray says, let’s just get going. Tracy says there are some objections to Hayden’s report. Michael says his people told him that she’s been presenting the worst possible scenario to the board, suggesting the worst possible outcome. Tracy says she can’t certify the vote based on faulty projections. Gray doesn’t think they need to, but Tracy wants to hear what the other analysts had to say.

Finn calls the pharm guy. He asks if the offer is still on the table. I’m not quite sure if the Obrecht is going to change her vote unless something is specifically in it for her.

Michael says research can lead to patents and new treatments, as well as better medical care. He tells them about Finn’s discovery, and sys GH is known for their research. Obrecht interrupts, but Michael says he has the numbers. Gray wants to certify selling, but Finn pops in, saying they don’t have to. They need cash to put GH in the black and keep it there. If a donor stepped forward, they could call for another vote. Obrecht says no such angel exists, but Finn says it does; it’s him. He explains about selling the patent, and says they can have all the money.

Nelle asks if Bobbie told Carly. Bobbie says she did, and Nelle says she has no idea what she’s done. Bobbie says that she opened Carly’s eyes to the truth. She says Carly and Sonny lost their son, and were grieving and fighting to survive. Nelle blew them apart and their whole family. She asks if Nelle stopped to think of the others. Nelle says this wasn’t the way it was supposed to be. Bobbie says no one wants to know her, Michael least of all, but Nelle is gone.

Carly tells Sonny that the wedding vows caught her off guard, but he insisted, and she’s been thinking about it ever since.

Jason tells Sam one big push and they can take the baby home. Sam says it hurts. He tells her he loves her and she can do this. He says she’s his phoenix. They’re going to rise one more time together.

Tracy says they should scrap the previous vote. Gray protests, and Obrecht says how do they know Finn is telling the truth. He shows them a fax from the pharm guy. Tracy asks all in favor of voiding the vote, and everyone except Gray and Obrecht raise their hands. Michael votes to accept the Finn’s gift, and everyone agrees except Gray. Tracy says they won and GH stays open. Gray steps away from the table. Finn watches him.

Scout is here! Jason holds her. Sam asks if she’s okay, and why isn’t she crying?

Olivia-J tells Julian that their dad said he was a disappointment. When he left the witness protection program, he had the opportunity to live up to the Jerome name, but blew it, and she’s glad their father didn’t live to see it. Julian says she’ll have her victory, and he’ll be out of her life. Gray texts Julian, saying the deal fell through. Olivia says the Quartermaines saved the hospital and Julian failed her.

Sam asks what’s happening. Jason gives the baby CPR, and says she’s not breathing. Sam begs Jason to save her.

Carly tells Sonny that she wants to come up with something special, since they’ll be getting married for the sixth time. She’s come up with draft, and would like his input.

Bobbie calls Carly and leaves a message about what happened. She says she confronted Nelle. She’s sorry, but it just came out. She says if Nelle has half a brain, she’s out of town. Bobbie thinks they’ve heard the last of her.

Nelle runs into Michael at the hospital. He says he has good news for once.

Carly asks why Sonny is nervous, and he says he feels like it’s an invasion of privacy. Carly says he wouldn’t cross a boundary not to offend Nelle, but offended Carly by screwing her. D’oh! I would have done a spit-take if something had been in my mouth.

Scout finally breathes, and Sam has passed out. Jason tells her to wake up, but it’s not happening.

Tomorrow, Nelle tells Michael everything, Carly confronts Sonny, and Olivia-J tells Julian that it’s strike three for him.

The Haves and the Have Nots

I love this show. Tyler Perry is brilliant – and the hardest working man in show business. HAHN isn’t exactly intellectually stimulating, but it’s extremely entertaining and he definitely slips in lessons to be learned.

We revisit the tableau at Wyatt’s apartment. Jeffrey moves, and the officer shoots. Justin runs to Jeffrey. He tells the officer that they were just playing around, and says get out of here, rookie. Rookie leaves. Miraculously missed by the bullet, Jeffrey tells Justin to leave him alone and get out. Justin leaves. I gotta say, I’m starting to like Justin, and I’m feeling badly about this.

Wyatt asks who that was, and Jeffrey says a friend. Wyatt tells Jeffrey he needs to stay away from that guy. He looks out the window, and says Justin isn’t leaving. Jeffrey says he will, and he has to go. Wyatt doesn’t want him to leave, or at least wait until Justin is gone. Jeffrey repeats for Wyatt to call the number he gave to him, and leaves. Wow. Two seconds out of the hospital, and Wyatt is a mess again.

Candance kisses a sleeping Quincy Jr., and sneaks out of the hotel room.

David walks Erica back to her room. She says good-night, and he’s like, really. He says he won’t judge her, and they kiss. She says that’s huge (no, not that, she means sleeping together), and he begs a little.

Oscar sees Candace in the hotel lobby, and tries to get her to work with him. She tells him to back off. She calls Erica, who is now making out with David on her bed. Candace says she knocked on the door, and asks if David is there. Erica pretends Candace is someone else, who’s asking about borrowing clothes. Candace asks if it’s going to be an all-nighter, and tells Candace to put what she needs in the hallway.

Erica leaves the bed to get the stuff together for Candace, and David makes himself comfortable. When she comes back, they get busy. David’s phone rings. It’s Jim. He wants the number of the guy who got his money back after Candace blackmailed him. David tells Jim that he’s with a female friend. Jim tells him to text the number now, before he gets busier.

Kathryn comes downstairs, and asks what Jim is still doing there. He says it is his house. She asks if he has a whore to screw, and he says he’s not interested in the one closest to him. Oooh. That’s beyond snap. She says someone thinks so, and goes back upstairs, bringing some wine with her. There’s a masseuse in her room, and Jim says he’s not interested in her. She says he’s paid to do a job, and she’s getting a massage. Jim asks why she’s trying to seduce him. Kathryn says she’s not; he wants her. She asks the masseuse if he’s ever had a sugar mama and if he wants one. The kid says no to both, and Jim thinks he should leave. He changes that to get the hell out and he’s gone.

Jim asks Kathryn if she’s lost her mind. He tells her that seducing a child isn’t the way to get him to leave. She says she really was just getting a massage, but she wanted to bug him. Regardless, she could get a man if she wanted to. Jim asks what if he goes to the press, and Kathryn says she doesn’t give a damn. She asks if Jim has looked for Wyatt, and he says he has. She says she can’t lose him, and Jim says they won’t. He’s going to find Wyatt and get the money back. Kathryn says he can get out after that, and Jim says she should get out. She says maybe she will.

Jim calls Oscar. David has already given him a heads up. Jim explains that he needs to find his son. He also needs to get back his son’s inheritance. He tells Oscar that he has no idea where Wyatt is, and Oscar says he’ll get right on it. He wants ten percent, but Jim offers him five. Oscar says he can find someone cheaper then, so Jim agrees to ten.

Candace talks to bartender Rocky, and orders a martini. She asks if he’s running the boys, and he says not as well as she is. She orders two martinis. She sees Charles sitting at a table for two, and walks over to him. He tells her to leave him alone please. She asks Rocky to give her a glass of whatever he’s drinking, and she brings it over to him. She pretends to be working there, and then sits down. He says that he doesn’t need anything else, and she says she’s not a waiter; he didn’t even look at her. She asks if it’s been a long day, and he says it has. She introduces herself, and then pretends to suddenly recognize him. He asks to keep it low key. Rocky brings over the martinis.

Charles asks what she does, and she says that’s personal. He says he’s about to be President of the United States, and she says, don’t sound so happy. He says he’s just getting used to losing everything normal. He asks if she’s a reporter, and she tells him no. He requests that she take the battery out of her phone. He says as president, he won’t be allowed a smart phone. She gives Rocky her purse, and tells Charles to relax; she’s not wearing a wire, and there are no cameras pointed toward them. He says he has his reasons for noticing that, but what are hers? She says she’s observant, and he says, or in a business where she has to look out for that. She asks what he’s saying, and he asks if she’s a working girl. She tells him to have a good night, and goes to the bar.

Oscar asks if he can buy her a drink, and she says no. She tells him to get lost. Oscar says he’ll cover her tab, and she says she’s not interested. He says she got Charles’s attention, and if she doesn’t want people to think she’s a whore, maybe she shouldn’t dress like one. He gives her the key to a room that adjoins Charles’s room. Charles is leaving in three days. Oscar tells her to make Charles think she’s not a whore, and propositions her. She slaps him, and Rocky tells him to get out. She tells Rocky to bill everything to her room. She leaves, and Charles follows. He gets in the elevator with her. Isn’t he going to think something’s up if her room is next to his?

He asks if she’s okay, and she says that she’s fine. She says the future president thinks she’s a whore, and so does the guy at the bar. He says he’s sorry, and addresses her by name. She tells him that remembering her name is a nice thing to do. She gets out, and he says it’s his floor too.

As they walk down the hall, Charles asks what happened, and Candace says he doesn’t want to hear. He says give him something other than a political speech, and she says it’s the whiskey talking. He tells her that he’s a Tennessee boy. She gets to her room, and he says no way. She says she doesn’t believe in coincidences, and tells him good-night. He is super cute. I think she’s going to fall for him.

Inside her room, Candace looks around for any recording devices. Beautiful room, but one cheap phone. I can tell by the weight when she picks it up. She pulls something out from a couple of vases and under the desk. There’s an open laptop and some books and papers all over the bed. Oscar calls and asks her why she would do that. She says she’s not working with him. He says Charles is worth millions, and tells her to just get him on tape. He tells her all the stuff is hers from law school, and she’s cramming for exams. He instructs her to say good-by to him loudly. She yells, don’t call again, and hangs up.

The phone rings, and Candace is like, what?! and it’s Charles. He says he wants to apologize, and she tells him to open the door. How come there’s no secret service around or whatever? Is this like The Prince and the Pauper? She tells him that she’s broke. The only reason she’s there is that it’s her anniversary. She wanted to surprise her boyfriend, and found him with somebody else. She says she also comes from a rough neighborhood, and she’s not good for his image. She thanks him for being nice, and he asks her to have a minibar drink with him. She asks if he’s trying to take advantage of her, and he says he just wants a drink. She says it will have to be his minibar, but the door stays open.

In Veronica’s driveway, Justin apologizes, and begs Jeffrey to listen. Jeffrey says Justin could have gotten him killed. Justin says he’s never done anything like this before. He’s never been in this situation; he’s doing things for Jeffrey that he’d never do. Jeffrey is like, please don’t say you’re in love. Justin says he isn’t, but he likes Jeffrey a lot, and doesn’t want to lose him. Jeffrey says he doesn’t belong to Justin, and Wyatt was just a straight friend. They’ve been friends since they were kids, and he has a drug problem. Veronica sees them from the window. Justin asks Jeffrey to forgive him. Jeffrey hears the door open, and says he does.

Veronica asks what Justin wants. Justin says that Jeffrey made an illegal left U-turn. Jeffrey talks about forgiveness, and says they were forgiving each other, because Justin was a bit aggressive. Jeffrey asks if Melissa is inside, like he’s going to fool Veronica, and Veronica tells him to join her. She wants to talk to the officer.

When Jeffrey is gone, she asks Justin what’s going on, and if she has to call the Chief of Police. Justin says he told her, but she says there are no left turns to get to the house. He says maybe he was mistaken and it was right. She asks how long this has been going on, and Justin says he and Jeffrey just met. She asks if he knows who she is, and he says she’s Jeffrey’s mom. He tells her that she should just be happy he let Jeffrey off with a warning, and Veronica says she has her own warning for him. She tells him to stay away from her son. She knows his type; she’s had them on the stand many times. She asks if Justin understands. He says he does and leaves.

Inside the house, Veronica asks why Jeffrey was being protective of Justin. She says he has the same look in his eye he has for Wyatt. He’s supposed to be there with Melissa, and he’s running around with that. She says she smells Justin on him, and tells him to be a man. He has a sexy-ass woman waiting for him, and he’s acting stupid. Jeffrey just stands there, and she tells him to go upstairs to Melissa. She asks if Jeffrey wants to stab her again, and when he says nothing, tells him to go.

Wyatt calls Jeffrey, but gets voicemail. He flashes back to Jeffrey telling him to call the number. He calls, and a woman asks what’s going on. He says he’s sick, and she asks if he’s trying to detox. She says there’s a doctor who can see him at home, and he gives her the address. She says they’re on the way.

Kathryn calls Hannah. She asks if Hannah sold the car. Hannah says no, and Kathryn is glad. She tells Hannah the police were just there, and Candace is wanted for questioning in Quincy’s murder. She asks if Hannah wants to know how she got the money from Jim. She sends Hannah a photo. Hannah is like, OMG! and Kathryn says she should have warned her. She kept one of the DA’s photos and Jim doesn’t know. She tells Hannah that she’s sorry. Hannah says she’s trying to figure out how to save Candace’s life. She asks if she can call Kathryn tomorrow.

Hannah goes to the police station. She tells the desk sergeant that they’re looking for her daughter and she knows where she is. Her daughter is Candace Young.

Next time, Candace promises not to tell anyone about Charles, Oscar thinks they can set up a scheme, and Justin talks to Hannah about Candace. I don’t know why I thought this was the finale. There are two more shows left. I would say I needed a TV vacation, but I might end up like Wyatt.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Kyle works with an organizer to get the garage together. Mauricio would rather she threw everything out, but she says there’s a lot of memorabilia in there, and wonders if she’s a hoarder. She talks on the phone with LisaV, and tells her that Carnie Wilson is presenting a tasting from her baked goods company at Kyle’s house, and she’s invited the women. Lisa is afraid of seeing the other Lisa, and Kyle says she has more of a beef with her than this Lisa does.

Eileen talks to Vince about Erika being on The Young and the Restless. She never knew Erika was going to be as excited as she is. Why not? It’s a pretty big deal. Erika is coming by to rehearse. In her interview, Eileen explains the process of putting a character into a soap. She asks Erika how the Project Angel Food gig went. In her interview, Erika says you probably don’t want her making any food for you because you’ll die. Eileen goes through the lines with her. Erika says it’s very different than doing her own show, where everything is focused on her. With this, she actually has to listen. Vince and Eileen agree she’s a natural.

LisaR – the other white Lisa – talks to Harry about going to Kyle’s house. She tells him that Kim is going to be there. Lisa was pretty fired up when she met with Eden, but doesn’t think Eden would lie. Harry says he can understand how her buttons were pushed if Kim was mean to her. She says she was spouting her feelings, and she connected with Eden. She’s sure that Kim must know about it by now Harry says she’s just tried to help Kim, but Lisa thinks everyone looks at it as just the opposite. Harry thinks that’s absurd, and that she has empathy. In her interview, Lisa says she’s going to have to own it; she did say those things. She tells Harry that if she gets stoned to death, he knows where her diamonds are.

LisaV and Ken go to the new space for their dog rescue center. She wants it to be a lifestyle shop with everything doggy, and potential pet parents will be able to play with the shelter dogs during the day. Lisa talks with the agent about Yulan festival and how they’re trying to change it. She wants Congress to speak out against it to China. It’s difficult for me to even hear about, and I applaud Lisa for her work. She says she doesn’t want to turn into a crazy person, but Ken says she is already. Ken gets emotional about a video he saw, and he’s going to make me cry in about one second. Lisa wouldn’t look, and I can’t either. I’ve actually signed online petitions without looking.

Carnie Wilson arrives at Kyle’s. She’s brought four flavors of cheesecake. Oooh, they’re teeny tiny. A beautiful table is set outside, and Kyle’s Golden Retriever lounges in the pool with his tennis ball. Carnie talks about her own sobriety.

Erika picks up LisaR, who’s bearing a baby gift for Kim’s new grandchild. Kim arrives at Kyle’s bearing her sponsor, Claire. LisaR talks to Erika in the limo about meeting with Eden, and says she thinks she did say everything. In her interview, Erika says she hates hearing this, and Kim is going to kill Lisa. She tells Lisa that she’s going to get it.

Mmmm… Tiny food is being passed around. Tiny crab cakes and little garnishes with caviar on tiny bread. Eileen asks Kyle if she invited Eden, and Kyle says she did. Kyle asks Eileen if she thought Kim hasn’t seemed sober, and Eileen says she hasn’t exhibited that behavior for some time. She says it’s weird and illogical though, because she can’t imagine LisaR saying those things.

Carnie talks to Kim about her impending grandchild. Dorit shows a video of her baby going after a pair of designer boots – fashionista in training. Eden arrives, and Kim says Eden makes her skin crawl. She talks to Carnie about removing all the negative, and tells her about Eden repeating LisaR’s lies. Carnie says we’ll always have to deal with idiots. No wiser words have been spoken.

Little cheeses! LisaV’s big earrings! We can see Kim stiffen the second LisaR comes to the table. Lisa presents her with the baby gift. Erika gives a blow-by-blow to LisaV and Dorit, who are inside at the bar. In her interview, Kim can’t believe that after everything LisaR said about her, she’s handing her a bunny. She says she can’t even look at Eden, and people in recovery support each other, not beat each other down.

Camille arrives. LisaR takes Eileen aside. She tells Eileen about how she talked to Erika, and came to a conclusion. Since coming to a conclusion takes more than one thought, I know this had to have been difficult. She talked to Harry, and they discussed the people close to them dying, and she realized she said it. Eileen is surprised and disappointed. Lisa says she meant well. Eileen says she knows that, and loves her. Eileen thinks Lisa’s good parts are better than her bad, and there’s something to be said for her owning everything.

Everyone gathers around several different tiny desserts, and Carnie talks about her dessert company. She wants people to be able to have a little bite rather than shunning dessert altogether. Man, this stuff looks good. I have a confession to make. Ever since they brought out those tiny crab cakes, I’ve been eating tiny chocolate chip cookies. I think I’ll put them away now.

Kyle goes inside and LisaR starts to tell her about her epiphany, when Carnie comes by to round them up. Lisa says she feels like a dead man walking.

Everyone is enjoying the desserts, when LisaR announces she wants to say something to Kim. Seriously. Everyone gets quiet. She says Kim has probably heard some things. (I’ve heard things…) She admits to saying some bad things to Eden, in the heat of the moment after game night. After talking to Erika and Harry, she wants to admit to saying them. In her interview, Kyle says Lisa flat out lied. Kim tells Lisa that she’s always saying things, and then it’s, oh, I’m sorry. She says what Lisa said was uncalled for. Lisa tries to drag Eden in, drawing comparisons. She says Kim was provoking her, and Dorit asks what she did, saying that she doesn’t remember Kim doing anything to warrant what Lisa said. Kim says Lisa doesn’t think of the consequences involving other people, like her children. She introduces her sponsor. LisaR says she’s only wanted to move forward with Kim, and LisaV points out that she was questioning Kim’s sobriety. In her interview, LisaR says LisaV is enjoying this. LisaR says a sober person doesn’t act like that, and Kim wonders who Lisa is to judge what a sober person is like. That was a really stupid statement to make. Kim calls out Eden for saying anything in the first place. LisaV tries to interject that LisaR bears more of the burden, and Kyle tells her to pick a lane.

LisaR asks Claire if there’s a chance to heal. Claire thinks it’s possible if everyone gets to a place where they can let go. Kyle is like, just don’t make up stories. She asks Eden how she would feel if Kyle questioned her sobriety behind her back. Eden says judge her all she wants. Kim basically says it was none of her business. We flash back to the game night argument between Kim and LisaR.

In her interview, Eden says as a recovering alcoholic it would be remiss of her not to listen to what LisaR had to say, and act on it. Kim says Eden isn’t them, and Eden tells her to have some compassion for someone who lost their sister. Kyle says it has nothing to do with compassion; it’s about comparing the situations. Kyle tells Eden that she knows it was horrific, but she can’t compare her situation with theirs. Everyone keeps talking at once, and it’s hard to separate everything. LisaR says it’s not what Kim is saying, but how she’s saying it. I think a HUGE part of LisaR’s problem is that she over-dramatizes everything. I’ll bet going to the bathroom is a big production in the LisaR household.

Carnie says when she makes a mistake she makes amends and owns it, but that everyone has their own pace. If she can’t move on and hangs on to things, she’s drunk. LisaR brings up Kim talking about Harry. Kim says she never said anything about him, and Kyle says she did imply it. LisaR says he might not show it, but it did hurt Harry. People come up to him on the street and ask #WhatDidHarryDo? I can’t help feeling that Harry would think the whole thing was stupid funny. Kim says she’s told Lisa that she’s sorry a million times. In her interview, Erika says LisaR is like a cat with nine lives, but she’s not sure how many she has left.

Carnie says some things are hard to break through, but that’s where compassion comes in. She says they drank for reasons; they are a little looney, but there’s no perfect. Kim says she doesn’t want her world out there again when she’s worked so hard. She’s going to stand up for herself, because she has had times she thought she was going to die. LisaR says she’s sorry she hurt Kim. Eden says she didn’t want to hurt Kim either. Eileen asks Kim what they can do to move on. LisaR says every ounce of her being wants to move on, being all dramatic again. In her interview, LisaV says you have to prove what you say by your actions, wondering if LisaR really does want to move on. Thank you. Some people think “I’m sorry” means they can keep doing it. Carnie says look at what these cheesecakes can do. The girls have some healing cheesecake and move on. Maybe.

Next time, Dorit has a wonderful new hairstyle, a Hong Kong trip is on the horizon, and Erika gets emotional with her mother.

💣 Love Imposters more every week!

💁 Thanks, Lifetime, for bringing Little Women: LA back on Tuesdays, when I already have a hard enough time juggling my TV shows. Here was the gist of it:

Terra is in the top five on Dancing with the Stars. Joe is on tour, and Terra’s health isn’t too great; she’s suffering from two hernias, on top of the breast issue she had last season. Elena comes to the DWTS studio to confront her, because she’s not answering her texts, and Terra ends up telling her to get out. Christy thinks Todd is eating himself to death, and wants him to either go to rehab or go back to Ohio, which I guess is the only other alternative. She’s also still desperate for Briana’s friendship. Tonya was diagnosed with Bell’s palsy, which is a virus that attacks the nerves. It’s triggered through stress. Great. One more thing to stress about. The girls threw Jasmine a baby shower, and she seemed genuinely surprised, but I’ve always wondered about the wisdom in surprising a pregnant woman. We also found out that the baby is a boy. 👶

February 27, 2017 – Jason Gets Closer to the Truth, the NOLA Trip Ends, Summer House Implodes & Little LA is Back

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Jason explains that Sam told him Alexis was having difficulty with her sobriety, so she was staying over. Alexis shows him her 30-day chip, and says oddly enough, it’s the one day she’s not struggling. Jason tries Sam’s phone and it rings from Alexis’s purse. Oh-ho! So that’s what Olivia-J put in there. Did she think Alexis would never notice? Okay, if it was in my purse, it might take a while, but did she think it was never going to ring?

Olivia-J comes back to her room. Julian, who is handcuffed to the radiator with a hood over his head, asks if the psycho witch is back. She takes the hood off, and says she thought they should wait together for the news about GH.

Finn asks to speak privately to Hayden. Tracy says she can take a hint. Finn tells Hayden that he’ll do anything. He doesn’t want to lose her

Felicia joins Bobbie at the MetroCourt. Bobbie says she hasn’t been able to sleep since Felicia told her about Nelle’s secret. She asks if Felicia is sure it’s true, and she says absolutely.

Michael and Nelle get back from the cabin. Nelle tells Michael that he has to go and save the hospital, and she has to take care of one thing. After that, she can start over.

Carly and Sonny bask in the afterglow. Carly says she’s going home – to pack, and explain to Josslyn that she’s moving back in with him.

Monica asks Tracy if they have enough votes to save the hospital. Tracy tells her not until Laura shows up.

Olivia-J tells Julian that Laura got sidetracked, and he’ll get to live. He asks what she did with Sam.

Alexis wonders how the phone got in her purse. Jason asks if she left her purse anywhere. She says she only stepped away from it when she was talking with her sponsor. Jason shows her a picture of Olivia-J and asks if she recognizes it. Alexis says that’s her sponsor.

Felicia tells Bobbie that she contacted another teacher who’d been a friend of Nelle’s. Bobbie wonders why a stranger would tell Felicia anything. Felicia says that besides having an honest face, she’d explained that Nelle is on the short list to be Crimson’s woman of the month, and she was interviewing people who know her.

Carly tells Sonny that she hadn’t grieved Morgan properly. She wanted to bury herself in Sonny’s arms, but couldn’t. He tells her that he missed her. Thanksgiving night he was sure their marriage was done and that she was going back to Jax. He imagined the worst. She says that’s over, and she’s here with him now. They kiss

Nelle tells Michael that his words affected her, and she’s going to end what she started. He asks why she’s taking all the blame, and what about her boyfriend? She says he’s involved, and it would devastate his wife. Michael made her realize that she would only end up devastating herself. She’s been focused on the past, and wants to look to the future and spend more time with him. She says at the end of the night, she’ll be free to focus on him and whatever they decide to do.

Nelle says she feels like a new person. Michael tells her not to change too much. He leaves, and she tosses out the phone with the audio file on it and deletes the copy on her laptop. She says all that’s left now is what she sent to Carly. Like an idiot though, she leaves the dialogue box that says “Sonny audio file deleted” up on the computer screen.

Sonny tells Carly that they should make if official. She says she never filed for divorce, but he suggests renewing their vows. She adds, for the sixth time. He says he’s not the best Catholic, but he likes the ritual of his faith. He’d also like Griff to be the officiant. Carly says that’s fine, if he’s willing. Bobble texts Carly to meet her about something important. Sonny says he’s going to win Bobbie over yet, starting with making her daughter happy. Carly says she didn’t think she’d ever be happy again, but she is, and she loves him. He says he loves her too.

Hayden doesn’t want to be responsible for whether or not Finn goes to rehab. He asks Hayden to give him a chance. She tells him to let her do her job, and he wishes her luck with the board. No one has seen Laura, and they need her vote. Gray says it’s time to start. Tracy tells him that Michael and Laura are on their way

Julian asks again what Olivia-J did. She pours herself a stiff one, and says there was an accident. She tells Julian that Sam attacked her, and wound up falling off a bridge.

Jason asks Alexis if she’s sure. Alexis says she is, and wants to know who it is in the picture. Jason tells her it’s Olivia Jerome, who was presumed dead. Alexis is shocked that her sponsor is Julian’s sister. Jason says he thinks she’s been pulling Julian’s strings for a while, and that she set up the car bomb that killed Morgan. He figures that her being Alexis’s sponsor is a front, and one more thing she has over him. Alexis remembers walking in on them talking. She says Julian knew she was being duped and never said a word. They both suddenly remember that Sam is missing, and Alexis wonders if Olivia got to her.

Sam hears sirens in the distance, and tells Scout that help is coming.

Julian can’t believe that Olivia-J left Sam after she fell. He tells her that Sam is pregnant, and he can’t understand how she can be so heartless. Olivia says Sam attacked her, and she didn’t intend to hurt her. He’s the one who’s heartless, and deserves what she’s thrown at him. Alexis calls Julian. Olivia wonders why she’s calling.

Alexis leaves a message for Julian, saying that his sister Olivia is her sponsor, and she’s done something to Sam. Alexis wants to call Olivia-J and set her up, but Jason tells her not to.

Sam calls out that she’s down at the bottom of the hill. The sirens fade, and she realizes it wasn’t for them. She tells Scout it’s okay, but starts feeling pain.

Michael shows up at the board meeting. Tracy says a member is running behind schedule, and asks to postpone. Gray won’t go for it, and Michael says maybe Laura will show before they vote. Hayden presents her proposal, and Tracy starts asking questions. Gray says she’s stalling, and wants a vote. Monica asks Hayden to leave per policy.

Monica sees Obrecht in the hallway, and she tells Monica that she has something to do in the boardroom. Monica says there’s a board meeting going on, and what business could she have with it?

Sonny finds Griff at the hospital, and Griff tells him about the sickout. Sonny says he can’t provide nurses, but if he needs other workers, he can supply them. Griff says he’ll let him know. Sonny tells him about getting back together with Carly, and how they want to renew their vows with him officiating. Griff asks whose idea it was, and Sonny says it was his. He asks if it has anything to do with Sonny cheating on Carly.

Nelle goes through the mail at the office, but can’t find the envelope. She asks the mail guy where yesterday’s mail is, and he tells her that Bobbie was there organizing it for Carly.

Carly joins Bobbie. Nelle texts that she’s back, and Carly explains what happened with the cabin. Bobbie says Nelle is the reason she needed to see Carly. She says there’s no easy way, and tells her about Felicia investigating Nelle’s background, and that she found something big.

Michael says the board is deadlocked. Monica says there can be no resolution until Laura arrives. Obrecht says that’s where she comes in, to break the tie.

The pharmaceutical guy meets Finn at the bar. Finn says he researched the company, and they’re more about greed than healing people. He says the cure is mostly needed in underdeveloped countries. He believes they’re going to take his formula, tweak it, jack up the price, and make money. The guy says there are other applications, which is why they’re interested. Finn says no thanks, but the guy makes him an offer, doing that writing it on a piece of paper thing.

Griff tells Sonny that this is no way to move forward from one night stand, pretending that it didn’t happen. He says secrets are rarely kept, and how it comes out is what matters.

Nelle tells the mail guy that he shouldn’t have given Bobbie the mail, since she makes everything a bigger deal than it needs to be. He thinks it was just junk anyway. Nelle asks if she opened anything, but he doesn’t know.

Bobbie tells Carly that Nelle is bad news, and Carly will be hurt the most. Carly says she can handle it. Bobbie reminds her when Nelle decided not to take the job in Atlanta. Carly says it was because of Nelle’s boyfriend. Thinking Bobbie is focusing on Nelle’s boyfriend being married, she says that both she and Bobbie have made those mistakes. Bobbie tells her the S stands for Sonny. This is what Felicia found out? And she went to Atlanta to do it? I was hoping for something we didn’t know. Like the real connection between Nelle and Carly.

Finn slides the offer back. He’s not selling the formula unless it’s on his terms, which means getting it to the people who need it. Pharm guy says with this money he could find all kinds of cures. Finn says that he already did, and doesn’t want it out of his control. Never. Pharm guy writes another offer. Finn makes a hmmm… face, and says that’s a lot of money. He tears the paper in half. The pharm guy leaves his card in case Finn changes his mind.

Hayden wonders why Obrecht gets a vote. Tracy says she probably made herself an alternate during her reign of terror. Tracy says it’s not legal, but Michael says it is. Obrecht says that a privately owned hospital can turn away needy patients. Tracy is glad they’re both concerned with the less fortunate.

Olivia-J tells Julian that the board is going to be voting, and they’ll see if Julian lives or dies. He says she buys GH, then what? She says he’ll see, and that it’s going to be epic.

Alexis calls the police. They take the report, but won’t act on it, and Jason says it’s up to them. He finds a picture on Sam’s phone from inside Olivia-J’s car. Jason says he thinks he knows where it is, and tells Alexis who to contact in the meantime. He tells her that if she needs verification of anything, to call Curtis, and he takes off.

Sam is having contractions. She asks if Scout can wait. She starts to climb again, and has another contraction. She says they’re coming too fast.

Nelle tears the place apart looking for the envelope. She wonders what Bobbie did with it, and says she’d better not have given it to Carly, but thinks Michael or Carly would have said something to her by now.

Sonny tells Griff that Carly is close to the woman he slept with, and thinks she’s the greatest. Griff says if the truth comes out from someone else, that will make it worse. Sonny says he can’t figure out the woman’s game. He tells himself that she won’t say anything, but realizes it’s a huge risk.

Carly says, Nelle is having an affair with Sonny? Bobbie says Felicia found a friend of hers who said she’s involved with her boss’s husband. It’s serious, and she’s terrified that her boss will find out. Let me just stop here and wonder why on earth a friend of Nelle’s would tell Felicia this, when she claimed to be interviewing for a woman of the month story. Carly says Bobbie has never liked Nelle, and seems to have all the answers. Bobbie tells Carly that there were signs. Maybe she didn’t want to see them, but they were there. She says for one thing, Sonny always got weird when talking about Nelle, and warned Michael away from her. Carly says she knows Sonny. He would never do this, and she’s going to prove it.

Finn asks Monica how it’s going, and she says not good. At the meeting, Obrecht says the hospital is going under; it’s inevitable. If it’s going down, she doesn’t want the Quartermaines to have all the power. When she was Chief of Staff, Tracy voted to fire her, and that was a big mistake. She votes in favor of the real estate developer.

Julian gets a message about the vote. Olivia says she won GH and he won a stay of execution. Julian wants to find Sam.

Sam is busy going into labor. She asks Scout to wait, but doesn’t think Scout is listening. Jason arrives at the foot bridge. He calls out to Sam and she hears him. For the love of all that’s holy, Jason, just look down. He keeps calling, but Sam can’t answer.

Carly knocks on Nelle’s door. No answer. She starts to leave, but finds a key under the mat. She lets herself in. Really? She looks around. No Nelle. She says Sonny isn’t interested in Nelle, and doesn’t even like her. She sees the dialogue box about the Sonny file being deleted on Nelle’s laptop.

Sonny tells Griff that he was going to come clean to Carly, but she had the night planned and was so happy. He didn’t want to cause her more pain. Griff says it will be worse if she finds out from someone else. He can’t let that happen.

Nelle finds the envelope. She says everything is going to be okay, and Carly will never know.

Carly ponders why there would be a recording of Sonny, and why it would be deleted. She sees the phone in the wastebasket and wonders what’s on it. She sits on the couch with the laptop and plugs it in. Dammit! She plays the file. She hears Sonny say that under no circumstance is Carly to know that he and Nelle had sex.

Tomorrow, Monica says they’ll know any minute, Bobbie tells Nelle game over, and Jason is still calling for Sam who is a few feet away from him.

Vanderpump Rules

Ariana suggests to Tom that Vegas is at the root of Schwartz and Katie’s issues. Tom asks what about the four years before that? Schwartz says he’s done, and doesn’t want to marry Katie.

We flash back to Jax’s big mouth about Schwartz’s dalliance, and Katie says maybe Ariana is right. She says she squelched her feelings, and didn’t want to discuss it to protect Schwartz. Stassi says she wishes she’d known, but it was during the time they were estranged.

Tom claims that Schwartz proposed because of an ultimatum. He thinks maybe Katie should have worked her own stuff out first. Scheana says he must love her, or he wouldn’t have done it. Tom screeches that Schwartz is a battered wife, and to look at him! He flings the door open to Schwartz sitting on the bed still in drag. So is Tom, and they look like something out of Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?

Katie says that she must be the dumbest [sic] woman on the planet, and Jax doesn’t get why Schwartz doesn’t just apologize. He thinks Katie should demand the truth. Schwartz walks in. He calls Katie a bitch, and Stassi tells him to knock it off. He says he wishes cheating really was their problem, and stumbles back out.

Brittany brings up the altercation the night before, and doesn’t like how the guys were discussing Kristen without her being there. Kristen thinks Tom is just creating problems and should stay out of it. Katie talks to Stassi, saying that Schwartz only 20% admitted to cheating. Whatever that means. She felt that she’d put a lot of time into the relationship already, and didn’t want to let it ruin things. In his interview, Jax brings up how Tom keeps saying Schwartz couldn’t have cheated when he was so drunk. He says that when he’s drinking, his brain shuts down, not his other head. I’m guessing this actually depends on several factors, including the individual. Jax thinks this isn’t normal, and that Schwartz should call things off. He says that Schwartz should approach Katie and say they’re supposed to be a team. That sounds like two different things.

Jax asks the girls to clear out, and give Schwartz and Katie privacy, but Katie doesn’t want to talk. She says she’s not ready, and besides, Schwartz is still wearing a dress and sporting a smoky eye. She thinks he’s blackout drunk, and they should revisit things in the morning. Jax explains what happened in Vegas to Brittany, and that Schwartz basically admitted to hooking up. If my memory serves me right, I don’t think Schwartz ever actually said he did anything other than making out. It was Jax who kept assuming he’d had sex.

Stassi tells Schwartz he’s being an a-hole. He says he made out with a chick when he was drunk, and tells Stassi she had a good run with Patrick. Stassi wonders what her choices in men have to do with Schwartz cheating on Katie.

Katie tells someone to close the blinds, reminding me of Kari Wuhrer in Beastmaster 2. Schwartz is still staggering around in his dress. He goes to Jax and Brittany’s room. Ariana wakes up to Tom’s manicure. Tom says that Schwartz and Katie throw tantrums like toddlers, and wake up not even remembering what they were arguing about. Shay dips into some snacks he’s left next to the bed. Scheana thinks everyone should stay sober until the wedding. She tells Shay that it’s a good thing they’re doing a prenup. Scheana isn’t the brightest bulb in the SUR box, but occasionally, she can be the voice of reason.

In her interview, Stassi says Katie and Schwartz have been fighting about the same things for years. We flash back to some of that. She says she’s trying to support them as a couple, but it’s hard.

Lisa arrives at SUR. Cashier, Katie-O (ugh! double Katies now), wants to become a server, and Lisa says she’ll put her through the paces. She likes when people come through the ranks. She gives us several examples, and ends with James, who started as a busser, rose to a server, then a DJ, and then got fired.

Katie calls Lisa, telling her they’ve had some flare-ups. Lisa asks if they’re looking for problems. She says they shouldn’t be fighting now, and that there will be tough times ahead. She tells Katie to patch things up and get the relationship back on track.

Everyone gathers at the pool. Tom passes out shirts with funny names on them that he had made. Schwartz wonders what happened, and everyone wonders where Katie is. In his interview, Schwartz says the worst nightmare of a combined bachelor/bachelorette party has come true, and his best choice is to run away and start fresh somewhere.

Stassi, Katie and Kristen visit Stassi’s childhood home. Her father is putting it on the market, and she wants to see it one last time. She talks about the memories, and how she had so many sleepovers, her father started thinking she was a lesbian. She’s very hungover, and keeps throwing up. Her grandmother is also there, and she says her grandmother is everything she aspires to be, but her grandmother is way nicer. Stassi is getting sentimental, and Grandma says once everything is gone, it’s only a house. I am so down with that, having gone through the selling of my own childhood home when my father died. I’ve always said that once he was gone, it was just a house and no longer a home. They go down Memory Lane. We see some retro photos, and find out that Stassi’s grandmother is the one who named her.

Jax reminds Schwartz of all the things he said the night before, but Schwartz says he was just being cynical. Jax says they can’t afford another blow up. In his interview, Jax says sometimes you have to apologize whether you’re sorry or not. He says his father always tells him happy wife, happy life. Joe Giudice will tell you that too.

Katie says she needs at least twenty more hours of sleep. Stassi thinks the problem isn’t Tequila Katie, but Tequila Tom. Katie says the silver lining is that people finally got to see Schwartz at his worst. Stassi announces that the girls won the weekend.

Lisa goes through some role playing with Katie-O. She says it can be intimidating, but if a server can get past her, they can get past anyone. She says they can make or break a diner’s experience. Katie stumbles through the menu somewhat. Lisa says she has to know it inside out and upside down, and she’s not ready yet.

Katie tells Schwartz that he was coming at everyone last night, and he should just admit he slept with that girl. He says he didn’t. She says she’s not doing this anymore, but he wants to work through it, and wants her to drop the Vegas thing. He says she was a nightmare from the jump, and Katie tells him that he had an option. He put a ring on it, so stop throwing it in her face all the time. Schwartz sprays whipped cream into his mouth straight from the container, and Katie thinks that they should do this later. He takes a shot of vodka, and she suggests that he stop criticizing her and reminding her of every sh*tty thing she’s done. He asks her to stop bringing up Vegas. He says he loves her, and they should just have some fun. These two wear me out, and I’m just watching them on TV.

Katie calls Schwartz a Bridezilla. He wants to salvage the last night. Everyone goes to the bar. More shots! In his interview, Schwartz says heavy drinking tears them apart, but it’s also the glue that brings them back together. It’s a cycle, and a vicious one at times. I could say a lot here, but why bother? They move on to playing spin-the-bottle. In her interview, Scheana says she’s happy she’s married, since this group is crazy about kissing one another. Schwartz says this is his last kiss before getting married, and it’s Tom. Stassi gets Peter, who thinks it’s weird, because they dated briefly. Schwartz says the party should have been like this from the beginning. Peter and Stassi start getting into some serious kissing.

Tom joins Kristen, who is having a smoke outside. She tells him he’s a giant a-hole. She asks why he feels the need to talk to her boyfriend about her past. She says he stepped into the swamp, and she wants to know why he’d talk to Carter about things that happened years ago, adding that Carter knows more than he does. Tom says they were bombarding Schwartz, and Carter came into the situation, talking like he’d been there. Kristen says she’s a different person now. Tom apologizes, and says he doesn’t want to talk about the past, and wants them to be cool. We flash back to their weepy conversation in Miami. He says that book is closed.

Giggy! Harrison! Schnooky! Lisa sips tea and works, while she lounges in bed with the dogs. Ken joins them. She thinks they should do a young restaurant with some young partners. Maybe groom somebody to take the pressure off a bit. She wonders if, with some guidance, Tom might be ready. She says he’s an excellent bartender, and she believes he’s hungry. She and Ken banter. That’s not a euphemism for anything. They have some witty repartee. I have to add that even though he’s usually snoozing while being carried around, Giggy can be quite lively when there is the prospect of food.

A Murphy bed is pulled down in the bar (!), and the gang makes Katie lie on it, demanding that Schwartz give her a lap dance. Jax throws money at them, and Schwartz pulls down his pants. Everyone has a shot. Of booze. Scheana says their relationship is like being on a roller coaster. She hopes they don’t come crashing down when gravity happens.

Back in the girls’ suite, Stassi opens champagne. Tom talks to the guys about his conversation with Kristen. Katie draws on Schwartz’s face as he drifts off into a drunken stupor.

The next morning, Brittany says she feels like death. Jax is wearing a bra insert on his face, thinking it’s something for puffy eyes. Brittany asks him not to post any pictures of himself in drag on social media, since her mother has enough of an issue thinking he’s gay.

Shay tells Scheana that he thinks Schwartz has a lot of built up frustration, and that marriage means a lot of adjustment. He’s so wise, that Shay.

Stassi feels successful for going to NOLA and kissing a guy, even if the guy was Peter. Schwartz is glad he and Katie pulled things together. In his interview, he says any issues they haven’t resolved, they don’t have time for. They’re setting that bottle out to sea. Katie wants to put the wedding train back on the tracks.

Next time, the annual SUR pictures, Scheana feels left out, Stassi goes on a date, and Katie and Schwartz ask Lisa to officiate at the wedding.

🏊 Just a quick note about Summer House, which I’ve been watching when it’s convenient. These people are in their 30s with seriously good jobs – what has happened to the world? While I probably did drink a lot in my 30s, I didn’t behave like I was in middle school (or junior high, if you’re from my neck of the woods). Tonight, the gang got on a party bus with a stripper pole, and as with the proverbial train wreck, I couldn’t turn away. Everyone slinging back booze, publicly displaying various affections, and swinging from the rafters. Or at least from the pole. I have no doubt, had I been privy to the Hamptons during my youth, I would have partied, but Not. Like. This. I can’t even imagine what desperate need for attention would prompt this group to display their immature selves on TV. Isn’t anyone concerned that their boss might see this? I’m both flabbergasted and appalled.

💃 Little Women: LA starts its new season tomorrow, Tuesday at 9 pm. Opposite The Haves and the Have Nots and The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Thanks, Lifetime! I really want to catch this season too, since Terra was on Dancing with the Stars. This week is the HAHN finale though, so hopefully this will only be painful the first time.