Tag Archives: Lisa Vanderpump

Feb22

February 21, 2017 – Sam Puts Two and Two Together Too Late, Hanna Tries Talking Sense to War & LisaR Gets Awarded

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Nelle and Michael are totally stuck at the cabin.

Dante meets Ned, who tells him he asked Olivia-F to marry him. Dante congratulates him, but Ned says she turned him down.

Olivia-F meets Julian at the bar. She shows him a picture of Leo, saying he’s under 24-hour surveillance now. She thinks Julian is handing her papers for a custody battle, but he tells her it’s his will.

Curtis has food sent up to Grace’s room. Jordan overhears.

Sam calls Jason from the hospital parking garage. Jason tells Sam he wants to be with her at the doctor’s. She tells him no rush, because she’s early. Behind the dumpster, Olivia-J says she’s right on time.

Michael tells Nelle that they can’t get out until tomorrow. She doesn’t like the idea of being stranded. He asks if she doesn’t like the company, and she flashes back to the envelope. She says the company is the only good thing, but she has stuff to take care of.

At the bar, Jordan orders a double. Curtis asks if it’s been a long day. She asks why he’s there, and he tells her that he’s meeting someone. Jordan tells him that Grace seems familiar, and he says that he knew her from before. Jordan remembers that Grace worked at the mayor’s office, and Curtis says she’s working on her MBA now. Jordan alludes to them sharing a love of white powder.

Ned tells Dante that his takeaway from their previous conversation had been that Olivia-F was looking for a greater commitment, and he was willing, but he doesn’t know what the problem is. He wonders if Dante can shed some light.

Julian tells Olivia-F that he’s leaving the bulk of his estate to Leo, and tells her about the safe deposit box. Olivia asks who’s after him.

Robin sees Sam, and they talk about the snowstorm and the upcoming baby. Olivia-J sees Robin, and flashes back to when Robin was a little girl. Olivia hopes the day gets better. She holds a wrench.

Sonny hopes Carly shoots him to put him out of his misery, but Jason says she’ll make him suffer. Although he thinks she’ll know it came from drinking and grief, and when she cools off, things will get better.

Michael tells Nelle it will be okay. He tells her she’s uptight, but so is he, so why don’t they surrender to the circumstances and go with the flow? They have booze, heat, and electricity. He tells her it could be worse.

Julian appreciates Olivia-F’s concern, but all he wants is to make sure that Leo is provided for. She says Leo is doing fine, and he says thanks to her. He adds that Ned being a father figure is a good thing.

Dante tells Ned that Olivia-F never needed anyone, although she had relationships. He says she’s probably gun shy, and doesn’t think she can make it work.

Sam tells Robin she’s there to see the doctor, and Robin says she must have extended her hours. Sam leaves, and Olivia-J plays a maypole dance with the column she’s hiding behind. Robin asks if anyone is there.

Jordan tells Curtis that it’s over with Andre, and she thought he’d be pleased, but he says he doesn’t want her hurting. She says it must have made his week, since they broke up because of her association with him. Curtis says that Andre can’t hack them being friends, and Jordan says that Andre can’t hack Curtis kissing her.

At the hospital, Sam talks to Lucas. She tells him that the leads they had dried up.

Olivia-J sneaks off, and Robin thinks something is weird, but gets in her car. Behind a dumpster, Olivia says, another time, Robin.

The power goes out at the cabin. Michael tells Nelle that it’s both good and bad news. She asks what the good news is, and he says they get to do things like in the old days. Nelle wonders about heat, and he tells her that there’s a fireplace and he’s a fire-making expert. She’s like, oh, my hero. They go outside, and Nelle talks about how pretty it is. They make a dash for the wood pile.

Curtis doesn’t know how Andre found out about him kissing Jordan, but it wasn’t from him. Jordan says she told him, and Curtis asks why. She says she owed him honesty, and thought they could work it out. She says that she knew Curtis would be trouble, and he says everything bad is always his fault, She tells him that he pushed her into something she couldn’t give, and it cost her Andre and maybe her job.

Sam tells Lucas that the doctor wasn’t there, and the office claims she never called. Olivia-J tromps around the garage, while Sam and Lucas talk about the storm. Sam asks if he’s been in touch with Julian, and says that Ava was arrested. She doesn’t think it will reflect well on Julian, and Lucas says nothing ever does. She tells him be careful.

Olivia-F asks if there’s a hit out on Julian. She’s worried because he called Ned by his real name. He says it’s time to be grown-ups, and she asks what’s changed. He says her future with Ned is written, and Ned is honorable, stable, and secure; Leo will thrive. Olivia isn’t buying it, and asks what’s going on. He tells her don’t worry about him, and take care of Leo. Ned comes in. Julian greets him and leaves. Ned asks if he’s hearing things or did Julian just use his actual name?

Sam gets in her car. Why didn’t she wait for Jason? The car doesn’t start, and Olivia-J knocks on the window.

Sonny thanks Jason for listening. Jason says Sonny and Carly have been through worse. It might be rocky for a while, but they’ll make it through. He says he’s around if Sonny needs him. They bro hug, and Robin joins them.

Michael builds the fire, and asks Nelle to fill buckets with water. She asks if someone is having a baby, and he tells her he wants to fill the soaking tub. But no peeking because he’s shy.

Ned asks Olivia-F if Julian is dying. She says someday. He wonders if Julian has something to do with her saying no, and she asks if he’s crazy. He says when they saw each other, things got confusing. She says that she owes him an explanation. He tells her that in retrospect, he might not have been fully considered everything, and if he’d thought it out, he wouldn’t have proposed. She asks why not, and he says the thought of marrying her terrifies him.

Julian approaches Lucas. He asks for one minute of time.

Sam rolls down the window, and Olivia-J says she’ll give her a lift. Sam says Jason is on his way. Olivia insists. Why isn’t Sam at least calling Jason? Why is she so brainless today?

Jason tells Robin he has to meet Sam, and Robin says she ran into her at the hospital. They promise to get together soon. Jason leaves, and Robin and Sonny sit at a table. She says he looks better than the last time they met, and apparently, he came out the other side. He asks if everything’s okay, and she tells him that Anna is sick.

Curtis asks Jordan how he’s jeopardizing her job. She tells him that Scotty filed a motion that their physical evidence was placed by Curtis and is inadmissible. Curtis says he didn’t do that, and she asks if he was at the gallery. He says he was, but he was trying to nail down a timeline. She says that Scotty claims he was collecting objects for DNA. Curtis says he’s just throwing evidence against the wall to see if it sticks. Jordan says if the DA agrees with him, she’ll take Jordan down, and Jordan will take Curtis along with her.

Curtis reminds Jordan about how she’s the one who wanted to convict Sonny, and asks why she had Ava arrested. Jordan tells him that his own witness ID’d her. Curtis says her problems with Andre were happening long before he came along, and in Baltimore, Andre wasn’t the man she wanted; she wanted him.

Robin explains Anna’s illness to Sonny. She says there’s no cure, but it’s not a death sentence, and can be managed by reducing the white blood cell count. Otherwise, Anna will be at risk for a heart attack or stroke. She says she knows things can be worse. She adds that if her mom knew she was talking to him, she’d be in trouble. He says that he and Anna have an understanding, but anything he and Robin talk about is between them. Sonny says he and Carly are dealing with a lot. Robin says she heard about Ava, and it’s no surprise; her sister Olivia was the same way.

Olivia-J tells Sam she loves the snow. It’s clean, peaceful, and pure. She says she must sound silly taking pleasure in small things, but she has no big things in her life. She tells Sam that she doesn’t know how lucky she is.

Lucas tells Julian to get lost. Julian reminds him of a letter that he wrote to him when he wanted to come out. He says here’s a letter he thought he’d never write, and hands it to Lucas. He tells Lucas that it’s about his mom and where he came from. He wants him to have it just in case. Lucas says, in case what? but Jason walks in.

Nelle gets in the copper soaking tub, and I go out of my mind with jealousy. She says it’s heavenly, and that she feels guilty, since it’s her fault that he’s stuck. He says he’s the one who insisted on going, and drove them there in an inappropriate car. She says he’s really taken care of her, and he tells her that it’s what gentlemen do, and it’s the least he can do because he owes her. She asks if he’s referring to what she does for Carly or what she did for Josslyn, and he says it’s what she does for him.

Ned tells Olivia-F that he’s been married five times to five different women, and he’s no catch. He’s worried he can’t be the man she deserves. She’s funny, kind, smart, beautiful, sexy, dynamic, and awe-inspiring; everything he could hope for, and everything he could aspire to be as a person. That’s why the prospect of marrying her terrifies him. She asks if he’s taking back the proposal.

Commerical break. For more information on rare cancers like Anna has, go to VoicesOfMPN.com.

Michael tells Nelle that she knows what he went through when Morgan died. He felt like a fraud, pretending to be strong. She tells him he is strong. He says a big part of the reason he got through it was because of her friendship, and it’s time he returned the favor. He asks her to let him do for her what she did for him. She can be her badass self, but accept some kindness.

Ned tells Olivia-F that it’s the opposite. As scared as he is, he loves her more than his fear of not measuring up. His proposal is on the table. He says he’ll use this time to work on becoming the man she deserves, and strides out.

Curtis says that Jordan finally got what she wanted in Baltimore, but couldn’t come down off the fence to take it. Now all her other plans went up in smoke. He would say flames, but it wasn’t that hot. She asks if he’s been working on that line for a while, but he says it was off the cuff. The server tells him his order is ready and he leaves.

Sonny asks if Robin knew Olivia-J. She says unfortunately, and we flash back to when she was little, and Olivia talking to her about lovebirds, telling her that if one leaves, the other dies. Robin tells Sonny that the whole generation of Jeromes is poisonous, each worse than the next, or crazier.

Olivia-J tells Sam about how well her mother speaks of her. Olivia says she came from what looked like a tight knit family, but scratch the surface, and it was just for show. They were at each other’s throats and couldn’t trust each other.

Lucas tells Jason that Sam left already. Julian tells Jason that he must be proud of himself, and now he’s as much to blame as Julian if anything happens. Jason asks what that means, and Julian says that he prays Jason never finds out.

Olivia-J tells Sam that she doesn’t talk about her family much. They went their separate ways, but lately she feels drawn back. Sam says there’s no denying blood, but Olivia doesn’t think that’s it. She says that she worked after the estrangement to start over – restoration, reinvention, and reincarnation. Sam sees Olivia’s keyring with the Chinese characters that say “reincarnation” on it.

Nelle tells Michael that it’s his turn. She gets out while he pointedly doesn’t look. He wraps her in another towel. He asks if she’s warmed up, and they come thisclose to kissing.

Tomorrow, Bobbie tells Carly her romantic getaway is canceled, Tracy wants to know when they can be sure the hospital will stay open, and Ava wonders if someone came to get her out.

The Haves and the Have Nots

In the scenes from last week, we see that Wyatt pulled a tablet out of the couch and texted someone. They didn’t show it that way last time; only him reaching into the couch.

Jim opens the door to the police. George is the new DA. Kathryn says Jim did it, so take him. Ha-ha! George tells Jim he’s sorry to hear about everything that happened, and that Jennifer can be brutal. I guess they don’t know she’s dead yet. George asks to talk to Jim in private, but he says it’s fine for Kathryn to be there. George tells Kathryn what a lovely house she has, and asks why the chairs have been rearranged. Like this is anything anyone would notice or ask about, especially a man. George gives Jim an envelope, and says he wants to talk about these photos. They’re the photos from Candace’s safe.

Kathryn says she had no idea, and George asks why these were in Candace’s safe. Kathryn says that’s how she got him, and Jim admits that Candace blackmailed him. He says you can imagine how humiliated he was, and George says he can, he saw the video. Another ha-ha! Kathryn tells George that Candace got $7.5 million from him. Jim says she had threatened to go to the press when he was running for governor. George asks if he’ll talk to her wearing a wire; she’s wanted for questioning about a body found in her backyard. George explains about the warrant being invalid. He says if they can get her on tape, they can use it as leverage. Jim asks why he would want to help, since they tried to prosecute Kathryn. George says he thinks these are the only copies of the pictures, and it would be a shame for them to fall into the wrong hands. He says that Candace could get away with murder, but if Jim helps, they have a shot. They have a day and a half at best. Jim says he’ll think about it.

George leaves, and Kathryn starts with Jim. She asks if he’s out of his mind. She wonders what’s between Candace’s legs that he allowed her to get so much over him, and asks why she’s still breathing. She says Jim must really care about her. Kathryn stomps upstairs and Jim ponders.

Candace starts to leave the hotel room, and Benny stops her. Hanna says they should both turn themselves in. She asks if they want Quincy Jr. to see them get taken away, and Candace says he’s seen worse. Benny can’t believe how Candace is acting, but Hanna says that’s who she is. She begs Candace to think of Quincy Jr. Benny says she can light the place on fire, but she’s not leaving. Hanna says they’re probably coming with a SWAT team, and calls Candace a common thug. Candace says they usually come for a hostage situation, and this might qualify. Hanna tells Candace that the common denominator in all of the problems is her.

Candace asks if God answers all of Hanna’s prayers, and pretends to pray, asking God who her daddy is.  She asks Hanna if she can tell her, and Hanna says she can’t. Candace thinks that maybe Hanna shouldn’t be telling her what to do with her child then. Hanna says she knows right from wrong, but she’s hellbent on being wrong. She asks if they killed someone, but they both ignore the question. Hanna says everything will come to light. She tells Benny to stay there, and she leaves. For a fleabag, it’s a pretty nice hotel.

Candace thinks Hanna is going to turn her in. Benny says when he finds out where War is, they’ll talk. He says it’s the same circle with different people, but she’s always at the center of it. Candace says he sounds like Hanna, and Benny says maybe she has a point. He says try to leave and see what happens. She asks if he’s going to manhandle her, and he says if that’s what it takes. He tells her that if the police come, he’ll take the fall for her.

In the bathroom, Candace calls Erica, who’s out to dinner with David. Erica steps away from the table, and asks where Candace is, but Candace doesn’t know. Erica says she’s out with David. Candace says Benny won’t let her out, and she needs clothes and cash. Erica suggests dropping by her apartment, but Candace is worried that it’s too close to where War lives. They make a plan to meet at Erica’s hotel.

Erica goes back to dinner. David suggests drinking something stronger than wine, and calls the waiter over.

Justin tells Jeffrey that he loves this with him. He thanks him and apologizes. Jeffrey looks grim and doesn’t say anything. Justin says he’s sorry about how they started, and that he was out of line and himself, but he has Jeffrey to thank. He says he has a long way to go, but it’s better because of him. Jeffrey says he should go. Justin asks what’s wrong, and Jeffrey says they can’t act like this is going to continue, since he’s going to jail. Justin tells him to just say Candace did it and he has nothing to do with it. Jeffrey says he can’t; he doesn’t want to lie. Justin says Candace doesn’t care about anyone but herself.

Jeffery gets a text. He says a friend is in trouble and he has to go. Justin insists on coming along.

Hanna goes to War’s place in some dank basement. He asks what’s up, and she says she wants to talk. She tells him to put out his cigar, and he complies. She asks him if he has it out for Candace. She says she raised him, and thinks about him as one of her own. He says that Candace did something really bad to him; she stole something from him. Hanna says that he knows Candace thinks she’s no good and messes with everybody. She says Candace is going to jail anyway. She talks to him like he’s ten years old, and says to look at her. She says that he’s not going to hurt her child, but War says that Candace crossed him. He says Candace didn’t give him what she was supposed to, and Hanna doesn’t get it. She says she does get it. She says she’s done right by him, and needs him to stop this for her. He says he wishes he could, but there’s a code. Okay. She asks if that means he has to beat Candace up. He says no, but he can’t tell her all that. Hanna asks if he has to kill Candace. War asks why she cares, and Hanna says she doesn’t care how much they fight, Candace came from her and she’ll always love her. He says he’s sorry, and Hanna says don’t say it if you don’t mean it. He says that Candace put drugs in his car and set him up. He says if he goes to jail, they’ll take his ass out. Hanna takes his face in her hands, saying this is madness and he has to stop this He says he will, as soon as he finds Candace, and Hanna had better pray the police find her first. Hanna says after all she did for him, and he apologizes again. Hanna says she doesn’t believe him. She says okay, and stares at him for a while before she leaves. War tells one of his guys to follow her. Then War is all whatchu lookin’ at? find something to do! and everyone skedaddles.

Veronica comes home to find Melissa in the living room. She asks if Jeffrey is there, but Melissa says no. Melissa asks if Veronica knows that Jeffrey doesn’t want her. Veronica says men don’t know what they want. Melissa tells Veronica that he’s not interested. Veronica says make him interested; work harder and use more alcohol. She tells Melissa to shave her legs every day since men hate stubble. Melissa mumbles that maybe if she had it on her face, it would be good. Veronica asks if there’s something she needs to say, but Melissa says no. She tells Veronica that her father’s medical bills weren’t paid this month, and Veronica says when Melissa makes progress, they’ll talk. Veronica adds that she needs to wash off the perfume; it reeks. Melissa says it’s the one Veronica gave her. Veronica says use another one, and insists she didn’t give it to her. Melissa says, her mistake.

Melissa goes upstairs, and Veronica leaves a message for Jeffrey to get home now. She looks at a video cam on her laptop. She sees the flowers outside Erica’s room and says she’ll try again. I guess a recording device was in them?

Hanna goes to the police station, but thinks better of it and keeps driving.

Wyatt rolls around on the couch in the pangs of withdrawal. Jeffrey quietly comes in with Justin, who has his gun drawn. Justin calls to Quita and Dude – the two stupidest people on the planet. He tells them to get down, asks Jeffrey to cuff them, and calls for back up. Jeffrey asks Wyatt what’s going on, and Quita says he invited them. Wyatt says they tried to rob him, and Dude whines that it’s a set-up. Justin says if they try to run he’ll taze their ass. Jeffrey notices that Wyatt is burning up, and says he needs help. Jeffrey says those people could have killed him, and Wyatt asks if that would be a bad thing. Jeffrey tries to leave, but Wyatt stops him. Jeffrey wants Wyatt to call the number that he gave to him. Justin comes over and grabs Jeffrey. He says that maybe Wyatt was trying to buy drugs. He asks if he’ll find anything if he searches the premises. Jeffrey says he’s not going to let him do this. Justin accuses Jeffrey of being in love with Wyatt. He radios to let Quita and Dude go, and says Wyatt better hope they don’t come back. Justin tries to get Jeffrey to leave, and Jeffrey says he’s staying. Justin accuses Jeffrey of using him, and says he has an option of him or Wyatt. Jeffrey says Wyatt isn’t gay, and they start to tussle. Wyatt gets involved. They go back and forth, and Jeffrey gets Justin’s gun, aiming it at him. Another cop comes in and tells him to freeze.

Next time, David and Erica get busy, Jim wants to find Wyatt, and Veronica tells Justin to stay away from Jeffrey.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Giggy! Harrison! Other dog! Lisa and Ken are checking out a condo for Max. It needs a lot of work, and Lisa intends to make it beautiful. Lisa talks about Max wanting to investigate his birth parents. She’s hired a private investigator to help. She wants to be the one who grants his wish. Please, Lisa, please adopt me.

Kim talks to Kyle about her impending grandchild. Kyle is feeling good about Kim’s happiness. Kim says all of a sudden, it’s real. In her interview, Kyle tells us all the sisters were in the room when each of them had a baby, and I go, eww! Kim tells Kyle that Eden acted bizarre when they last spoke.

LisaR is meeting with Eden. In her interview, she still claims she remembers nothing about a conversation regarding Kim. Roll the tape. They sit outside in a park. Lisa tells Eden she’s been busy. Eden asks how Mexico was, and Lisa says it started out fun, and then it wasn’t. She says she was put up against a wall, and we flash back to the confrontation. Lisa wants to know why Eden went to LisaV, since she thought they had a good relationship going. Eden says she told LisaV the truth. LisaR says she doesn’t remember saying that Kim was close to death. In her interview, Eden says she did say it, and I nod vigorously.

Kim and Kyle review the conversation that they had with Eden at the 20s party. Kyle says Eden hasn’t stopped, and tells Kim about how Eden repeated what LisaR told her – that she’s not sure if Kim is sober, she’s close to death, and that Kyle is an enabler. Kim says Lisa can’t seem to stop talking about her.

Eden tells LisaR that she wanted an outside perspective. Lisa says Eden went to the wrong person. It’s not okay with her, and she feels hurt. In her interview, Lisa says she’s disappointed, and she tells Eden that she feels like she was thrown under the bus. Eden insists she went under the bus herself, because she said those things. Lisa insists she doesn’t remember.

Kyle tells Kim that they like to set fires, so there’s no focus on them. In her interview, Kyle says when she finds out who started it, she’s going to be pissed, but right now she doesn’t know who to be pissed off at.

Commercial break. It looks like there’s lots of shouting on the next episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta, and Peter joins in. I’ve decided things are louder in Atlanta.

LisaR meets with her coordinator for Project Angel Food. She’s receiving a humanitarian award for her work with them. She thinks it’s ironic, since she can’t cook, and she’s spending the day in the kitchen. She’s invited the ladies as well. Eden comes along, and Lisa gives her props for having put her money where her mouth is with a large contribution. None of the other girls have shown up, and only Erika is there on time. Lisa says that Eileen is still feeling sick. I have to add that Project Angel Food is a great charity. When I was down and out, some friends arranged for me to receive a box of their food, and it was amazing!

LisaV and Kyle arrive, with Dorit bringing up the rear. They’re getting prepped for kitchen work. Apparently, Kyle and LisaV are late because they got stuck behind the driveway gate. Lucy and Ethel strike again. Everyone puts on hairnets and they go to the kitchen. A guy gives them various jobs. Dorit and Kyle act all silly while washing the zucchini, and Dorit claims that whenever she washes one, she has a baby. Move over again, Jagger.

Kyle wonders what’s up with Eden and LisaR, since when she last saw Lisa, she was spitting mad at Eden, and now they’re getting along just fine. Kyle does something with powdered fish and I don’t want to know. Erika says the worst meal she ever made is every meal, but she can cook a mean grilled cheese sandwich. I’ve said it before, my husband didn’t marry me for my cooking in the kitchen. In her interview, LisaV says she views Eden like a broken bird. Erika thinks Eden is sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong.

Kyle tells Eden that she’s not trying to be rude, and Eden says she wasn’t taking her that way. Kyle says she heard some upsetting things, but doesn’t want to talk about it right now. Eden asks if she wants to talk at some point, and Kyle says she does, just not here. Eden suggests a group talk and everyone thinks this is a great idea. In her interview, Eden says the truth will set them all free. LisaR agrees they need to deal with some stuff. Dorit says Eden looks like she has a world of thought in her head. I could make a lot of jokes here, but it would be too mean. Dorit can’t help it if she thinks more than one thought is a world. BA-DUM-CHH!

Ken and LisaV go shopping for Max’s condo. Lisa has found a sofa that she thinks is perfect, and hopes he doesn’t abuse it. Why doesn’t she just get it for herself? She gets a coffee table along with it. Both pieces are nice, but the sofa is kind of impractical. In her interview, Lisa shows us the house she got for Pandora which came with all the furniture. She wants to do the same for Max. I beg for her to adopt me again. Poor Harrison! He has a bit of a bald hind end.

Dorit plays with her kids. She tells Jagger how to get the baby to come to him. She says he’s a delicious big brother. Eden pays a visit. They make small talk with Jagger to encourage him to communicate. Dorit brings up LisaR being unhappy in Mexico. She asks if they spoke, and Eden says they just talked. Dorit says Lisa claimed she never said those things, and Eden says she doesn’t make stuff up. She doesn’t know what to say to Lisa when she claims that she doesn’t remember. Dorit asks if she thinks Lisa’s personality is induced. Eden wonders what she means by that, but doesn’t bother asking. This is a huge part of the problems with this group. They don’t bother asking about questionable things, and make the particulars up in their heads.

Erika and Tom meet for lunch. He’s such a cool guy. And he’s super rich. He says instead of having lunch with gnarly insurance people and mean spirited lawyers, he gets her. In her interview, she says they don’t see each other often enough, but when they do, it’s prime. She tells him that she’s planning a visit to her mother. In her interview, she says early in their marriage, she joined committees and such, but they hated her – and still do; she winks. Tom talks about her Expensive video, and thinks it’s the best she’s done.

Kyle goes to the set of her show. She’s educating herself on what goes on behind the cameras. She says being co-producer is a bigger job than she’d realized. The show is also based on her and her mother, and at first her sisters were apprehensive, but they’ve warmed to the idea. She talks with production about getting a 70s vibe. In her interview, she’s thrilled the pilot has been sold, but wants it to go to a series.

Tonight, LisaR gets her award. She says she’s won a Soap Digest award for best couple, but this is more real. Eileen calls, saying she’s still not 100%. She’s also got an eye thing where she can’t wear makeup or contacts. Lisa tells her that she understands, and that she wouldn’t want to go there without makeup either. Eileen tells her that she’ll be there in spirit.

Kyle, whose hair looks phenomenal, picks up Dorit. Dorit tells her about Eden’s visit, and how LisaR claimed not to remember what she’d said. Kyle says it echoes what Lisa has said in the past, and it makes sense of how Eden’s been acting.

Everyone walks down an incredibly steep hill to get to the limo at LisaR’s house. She, Harry, and the girls, discuss modeling. The venue is gorgeous. Camille is there, and lots of hugging happens. In her interview, Kyle says she’d never forego a charity gig for her feelings, and they’re hopefully mature enough to separate the issues. Lisa tells Kyle about Eileen. Kyle says LisaV isn’t coming because her nephew is in town. In her interview, LisaR thinks it’s because it’s not about her. She almost has it right. I think it’s because it is about LisaR. Kyle is glad there’s a table between her and Eden, since it’s hard to start a heavy conversation. LisaR makes a toast to everyone.

Kyle asks if Eden has a boyfriend, and Dorit says she has a kindred spirit. I’m thinking it’s a horse or a potted plant, but we see a picture and it’s a good-looking guy. They’ve only met online and he used to be a model. Eden tells Kyle that he’s in London, and Dorit says they’re having a deep relationship. Kyle says it sounds like a disaster. Eden says she’s just having fun, and Kyle tells her that she can do better. Kyle whispers to Dorit that Eden is misguided. In her interview, Kyle says Eden obviously wants acceptance and love, and she’s starting to feel badly.

At the podium, Harry makes a toast about LisaR being the light of his life and inspiration. He asks Lisa to come to the stage. Lisa says she’s the luckiest woman on the planet, and thanks everyone for coming. In her interview, Kyle talks about Lisa having two sides. At the table, Lisa says this is what matters in the long run. She’s glad they were able to put differences aside for the sake of charity. She and Harry kiss.

Next time, Kyle gets a visit from Carnie Wilson, something awful happens at the Vanderpump household (I’m thinking it’s one of the pets, but I did see Giggy and Harrison on Watch What Happens Live tonight, so I know they’re safe), Kim and LisaR confront each other, and Eden puts in her two cents.

Feb21

February 20, 2017 – Ned Makes a Sacrifice, the NOLA Party Drags On & Your TWD Questions Answered (Maybe)

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Nelle copies the audio file of Sonny onto a flash drive, and puts it into an envelope to Carly. She says, game on, Sonny.

Sonny buys Jason breakfast at the MetroCourt. Carly waits on them, telling Sonny not to plan anything for tomorrow, because she has a surprise. He doesn’t like surprises, but she says they have a lot to be grateful for, and she wants the two of them to celebrate. After she leaves, Sonny asks Jason if Ava didn’t plant the bomb, who did?

Alexis’s doorbell rings. I have to stop watching so much TV because I somehow get this mixed up with Daryl visiting Carol on The Walking Dead for a moment. It’s Sam. She talks about Kristina abandoning Alexis, but Alexis doesn’t blame her. Sam says she’ll keep trying to talk to her. She tells Alexis about Ava’s arrest, and says that for once, she doesn’t think Ava did it. Sam sees the bouquet, and Alexis tells her it’s from Julian.

Olivia-J hopes Julian wasn’t followed this time. She asks if there’s hospital news. He says by this time tomorrow, the hospital will be hers.

Hayden helps crunch the Quartermaine numbers. She says their offer isn’t as high as the realtor’s offer. Michael says Jason could kick in more, but Tracy doesn’t want anyone looking into where he gets his money. Ned says he’ll sell Lois his half of the record business.

Finn has a never-ending bottle of pills where there’s always just one left .He takes it, and looks at the newspaper headline about Ava. Griff asks if he’s been there all night, and Finn says someone had to take care of the patients. He also wanted to rush Anna’s biopsy.

Anna calls for a nurse, and an orderly tells her they’re all out sick. She asks about her biopsy, and he says he’ll see when he can do. She says she’d like to see a doctor, and Robin pops in, asking if she’ll do.

Commercial break. Like the Clapper and Chia Pet heralding in the Christmas season, Eastertime is officially here since the Cadbury bunny tryouts are happening.

Sam says she guesses Alexis didn’t slam the door in Julian’s face. She says Alexis is vulnerable, and asks her to please not let Julian manipulate her.

Julian reaches into his coat, and Olivia-J pulls a gun. Julian pulls out some champagne, and Olivia asks if he’s being presumptuous. He says tomorrow the Quartermaines lose.

Ned says he could hear Lila’s voice telling him about all the people he could be helping. Tracy asks since when is his life in Port Charles, and he says it’s time to set down roots again. He asks if she has Lila’s engagement ring. He wants to ask Olivia-F to marry him.

Nelle sticks the envelope into the mail cart at the MetroCourt.

Carly thanks Jason for talking Sonny down. She says she couldn’t have convinced him; she would have encouraged him. Jason says he doesn’t think Ava is behind the bomb, and he doesn’t want anyone doing what they can’t take back. Carly hugs him, and says what a great friend he is. Nelle watches.

Finn calls Sonny. He says he needs a favor. Sonny says it’s a bad time, and to call him next week. Finn says he doesn’t have until next week.

Anna says it’s good to see Robin, and Robin says it’s good to be seen. She tells Anna that Griff called her. Anna says obviously the test is a big deal. Robin says she had a clear schedule and thought they could spend time together. Anna says she saw the look on Finn’s face, and now this. Something must be seriously wrong.

The orderly gives the results to Griff. His face doesn’t look happy. He says, oh no, which confirms his unhappiness.

Finn tells Sonny that the medication would be helpful to some of his patients. Sonny says he has eyes on him right now, but he’ll call around for a favor. He says it will take a few days, and Finn says he’ll figure something out. Hayden tells Finn he looks better, and asks if he’s going to the meeting with the pharmaceutical company. He says he can’t go to Manhattan today, since they’re short staffed. Hayden suggests that the profits from the patent could be donated to the hospital, and he likes the idea. He tells her that if he was rude, it was just because he was just tired. She asks if he’s sure, and that she thought he was going to tell her something important. Their conversation is interrupted by Griff with the biopsy results.

Robin tells Anna that a blood biopsy isn’t an everyday procedure. Anna tells her about it, and how the scraping against the bone was weird, almost as if she could hear it from inside. Robin says she’s sorry she wasn’t there, but it saves lives, so Anna did the right thing.

Michael thanks Olivia-F for pitching in at the family meeting. She says it was really none of her business. He says if Ned hadn’t sold L&B, they would have lost. Olivia is surprised that he let go of the business.

Tracy tells Ned no way is he getting Lila’s ring. She said it cost more than most people’s homes at the time her father bought it. Ned says he thought she liked Olivia-F. Tracy says that Olivia has two illegitimate sons from two different mobsters, and is not daughter-in-law material. Ned says that Tracy is one to talk, and he’s going to marry her. Tracy calls her uncouth and uncaring, and Ned says he looks at it as genuine, spirited, and sincere. He says he’s not losing her again.

Nelle finds Carly, who says she has a task outside of Nelle’s job description. She tells Nelle about the cabin that she and Sonny used to go to, and how she’s renting it again. She asks Nelle to make it special. She says they’re trying to move forward, and they could use some time alone. Nelle says things always work out for her. Carly is resilient and resourceful, and she admires that.

Alexis tells Sam that she’ll never be vulnerable to Julian again. Sam asks if he knows that. Alexis says she thinks he was saying good-by.

Olivia-J asks why Julian is breaking out champagne. He says he’s celebrating his freedom. She says she’ll have him killed if she doesn’t get the hospital, and if he’s drinking to his eminent demise. He says she can either raise a glass or kill him.

Alexis tells Sam about the safe deposit box. Sam wonders if Julian is leaving, and Alexis says she doesn’t know, but there’s an explanation letter in the box. Sam thinks it’s a poorly manufactured lie, but Alexis says, what if it isn’t?

Julian tells her to get it over with, and Olivia-J says don’t waste the bottle. He puts something from a metal capsule into her drink. I might add that he does it pretty loudly. They could hear the unscrewing of the capsule at the hospital. He toasts to GH’s demolition.

Sonny tells Jason about Carly wanting to kill Ava, and that they agreed on doing nothing until they know for sure. Jason says Carly might think she wants revenge, but she doesn’t want to wreck lives. He hopes whatever they decide, they can move forward. Sonny says it’s not an option anymore. He tells Jason that something is going on with Nelle. She wants Carly to find out that they slept together.

Michael tells Nelle about losing his investment, and asks if she’d like to go to brunch and talk. Nelle tells him that she has to set up the cabin. Michael says he’ll give her a ride. He’s going to be busy for a while, and they might not have a chance to hang out later.

Robin tells Anna it’s okay to be scared. Anna says WSB agents don’t get scared. Robin says not in public, but it’s just her. Finn and Griff come in. Finn says he was hoping for better results, and the biopsy indicates she has Polycythemia Vera (PV). Griff explains that it means she has cancer.

Tracy relents about the ring, saying that Lila would want it to be worn and not kept in a dusty vault. She apologizes, and Ned asks what the objection is. Tracy says she doesn’t really have one, and that Olivia-F is ballsy and outgoing. She says when she got sick, she changed perspective on a lot of things and selfishly wants to keep him close. When he talks about marriage, the next step is getting their own home. He says it’s a big house, and there’s room for all of them, at least for now. He asks for her blessing, and she says of course. They hug, and we see Lila’s picture behind them, causing me to tear up.

Sam tells Alexis that what Julian wrote could hold the answers they need.

Olivia-J bumps into Julian and he drops his glass. She says how clumsy of her, and explains that being Alexis’s sponsor, it wouldn’t be good to have champagne on her breath. She encourages him to take her glass. He says it was a stupid idea, and she says he tried to poison her.

Anna says she never heard of a blood clot causing cancer. Finn says that cancer is a technical term, and her condition was once classified as blood disorder, but now is considered blood cancer. Griff says she’s in the age range where it’s commonly diagnosed, and the blood clot was a symptom. Finn tells her that the cancer causes thickening of the blood, and if left untreated, could result in a heart attack or stroke. It’s what’s been responsible for her migraines. Anna asks if she needs chemo. Finn says no, they’ll give her blood thinner and do phlebotomies, which Robin says is like donating blood on regular basis. Anna says it sounds like they’re just treating the symptoms, and asks how they beat it. Griff tells her that there’s no cure.

Michael and Nelle get to the cabin, and the caretaker gives them the keys, calling them lovebirds. Nelle is like, not too awkward. Michael tells her that they used to come up here all the time, and she says he must have wonderful memories of the place.

Sonny tells Jason about finding the bra, and that Nelle planted it. He says no way was her bra in the bed for two months. Jason wonders why, and asks if Nelle is interested in him. He says he doesn’t care, but she’s becoming a problem. Jason says the only way out is to take away her power and tell Carly.

Finn tells Anna that it’s a chronic condition, and Griff says it’s manageable. She asks if she’ll have to deal with bloodletting the rest of her life. Robin asks to talk to her in private. Anna says she’s sorry for being insensitive. Robin says she’s angry and sad, and just because it’s manageable doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck. When she’s done venting, they have work to do, and she has to be strong. Anna doesn’t feel strong, and Robin says she’ll be strong for both of them.

Finn tells Griff that he didn’t tell her everything. Griff says to let her deal with the shock. He thanks Finn for letting him be there. Finn joins Tracy and Hayden. Hayden asks about the meeting again, and he says that he doesn’t have time. Tracy says the jet is at his disposal, and he says maybe he’ll take her up on it.

Olivia-F comes into the Quartermaine drawing room to find Ned looking at Lila’s engagement ring. He says he was going to do this at dinner, but why wait? He asks her to marry him.

Commercial break. Finola Hughes does a PSA for PV. You can get more information at VoicesOfMPN.com.

Anna says Robin can’t be by her side forever. Robin says being HIV positive has taught her one thing – not to think about 50 years from now, but about today and tomorrow. Anna will need someone to run errands and translate medical terms. Anna says it’s not necessary; she’ll be all right. Robin says everyone needs help sometimes, even her. Right now, her place is here. They hug. Anna tells Robin she loves her.

Hayden says that she’s proud of Finn, and they’ll talk later.

Olivia-F tells Ned that she can’t. He says he understands no, but what does “I can’t” mean? She runs out.

Nelle has changed the sheets, and the fridge is stocked. She tells Michael that no matter what happens, his friendship has meant the world to her. He says he feels the same way, and wonders if she’s skipping town, but she says she’s just expressing her feelings. They start to leave, but the caretaker comes back, telling them that the roads are closed and they’re not going anywhere.

Sonny tells Carly they need to talk. She says they can talk tomorrow. They need a break away from everything, a break from the questions about Ava and the pain of Morgan. Sonny says okay, and they hug. The mail cart goes forward.

Olivia-J tells Julian to empty his pockets. He gives her the capsule. She sniffs it and says, oleander. He says it’s nothing she wouldn’t do to him. She says she would have succeeded, and he tells her that now’s her chance. She says until the deal is finished, he can live, and to get out before she changes her mind. He leaves, along with his fresh haircut. Olivia tells herself that Julian needs another reprimand, and she knows exactly how to deliver it.

Alexis tells Sam not to be digging around. Sam says she can take care of herself, and just hang on to the key. Alexis doesn’t like it, but tells her to be careful. Sam’s phone rings. It’s Olivia-J pretending to be the doctor’s office, and asking her to come in.

Tomorrow, Michael and Nelle are stuck, Jordan tells Curtis that she might lose her job because of him, and Olivia-F wants to know who’s after Julian.

Vanderpump Rules

I’d better see the Gigster tonight or I’m going to start questioning the integrity of this show.

In New Orleans, Jax wakes Brittany with a fart. This is actually better than an alarm clock, since you’ll never hit snooze. She asks if he remembers crying the night before. She tells Jax that if he really wants to be a better human, don’t treat her like crap. Seems simple enough. She says it’s awkward when he apologizes to an ex, and then acts like an idiot with her. In his interview, he says he can’t win. Because he’s so simple, he can’t even understand simple enough.

Schwartz wakes up on the couch. He tells Katie that she was super mean to him the night before. We flash back to the revelry in the streets. Katie says they left for the hotel around 4:30 in the morning, and everything was fine. In her interview, she says she wanted to take a car home, and he thought she was being unreasonable, but in his version, she’s drunk and yelling at him. He says she doesn’t remember because she was too drunk, and she insists that she wasn’t. Want to make a bet that both of them were?

The girls go to Galatoire’s, one of the oldest restaurants in NOLA, for brunch. Stassi says all holidays and birthdays were celebrated there when she was a girl, and we see some retro photos. Brittany says the boys were acting like weirdos last night, and Stassi says she was embarrassed.

The guys go on a swamp tour. I’ve never been to NOLA, but I have gone on one of those in Florida. The guide instructs them that if an alligator comes in the boat, it’s not part of the tour, and to run. Ariana is joining them, since she’s a groomsman and wants to see gators. Schwartz starts drinking, and tells them about having a fight with Katie. The boat stops, and everyone looks at an alligator. Ariana feeds it some popcorn. Or Cheetos. Or something. The guide picks up the alligator and everyone takes pictures. Tom says he brought doughnuts and there’s a snake in the box. This is not a euphemism for anything. There is an actual snake in the box. There’s also a snake in the cooler. The guide pulls out a baby alligator and teases Schwartz with it. He freaks, but I’d want to hold it.

Kristen passes out rubber wristbands to everyone, each with an appropriate name for the recipient. The food looks fabulous. My sister lived in NOLA for a while, until Katrina hit. I’ve always regretted not visiting her there. Love the food. Love the music. Scheana doesn’t like anything in a shell; it grosses her out. I don’t have a problem with it, but I think eating a whole crab or lobster is a lot of work for too little payback. She and Kristen step away from the table, and talk, while Stassi talks to Katie. In her interview, Kristen says she, Scheana, and Carter discussed Katie’s anger toward Schwartz. They think it stems from him cheating two years ago, and she’s been mad at him ever since. Scheana says Schwartz needs to own it and apologize.

After the swamp tour, the guys and Ariana have a blue crab picnic. Tom says Schwartz doesn’t look too good, and he says he feels sorry for the crabs. Tom thinks they should go to counseling. Schwartz and Katie, not Schwartz and the crabs. Carter says Katie doesn’t feel like she has his back, and he thinks Schwartz hooking up in Vegas is still weighing on her. She takes it out on him because he’s never taken full responsibility. In his interview, Schwartz says every time he thinks it’s resolved, it’s not, especially when Katie is drinking. Jax feels partially responsible, since he introduced Schwartz to the Vegas girl. In his interview, Tom says Carter’s words have Kristen’s fingerprint on them. Shay explains how he and Scheana had to deal with their issues. Schwartz says Scheana doesn’t take your deepest insecurities and rage at you for hours. Jax wonders why they’re even getting married. Shay says marriage isn’t easy, and Ariana says something is troubling Katie. Tom says Schwartz sounds like a battered wife. In his interview, Tom says he’s known Schwartz forever and wants him to be happy, and gets all teary. He gets teary at the picnic too, saying he doesn’t want to see Schwartz like this. Jax wonders what’s up with everyone crying, and Ariana says she should have stuck with the girls. Tom suggests they go back and throw on heels and a dress.

Lisa checks into SUR, and talks to the chefs about adding some new dishes to the menu. She wants to keep things current, and doesn’t want the chefs to get complacent. She questions one of the chef’s trousers that have a cartoon mushroom pattern. So do I. They look like pajama bottoms for a ten-year-old.

The girls get ready for the bachelorette party. A girl shows up with a cake, and turns into a stripper. Kristen has hired her to turn things up. Kristen hands Katie a bunch of dollar bills. The girl does a lap dance for Katie. They wonder how to tell the guys that they got a stripper, and the guys didn’t.

Tom rallies the guys after naptime. He’s called in the experts, and brought in Miss Aubrey to be their drag mother. She brings a couple of other drag queens with her. Jax needs help deciphering how to put a bra on, getting the arm strap wrapped around his head somehow.

Ariana visits the girls and says they’re blurring the lines of what it means to be a man or a woman in today’s society. Hardly. Blurring the lines of what it means to be an adult maybe. In her interview, Kristen thinks Ariana wishes she was a bridesmaid instead. Ariana tells the guys that they’re losing in the fun department, and shows them pictures. Tom says they’re just getting started. He’s brought an entire wardrobe stash. Ariana tells Schwartz that Katie is having a great time, and he’s happy. Jax says let’s go break some hearts or break something.

The girls take more pictures with the stripper, and get ready for the evening.

The guys pick a sports bar to grace with their dragness. I doubt anyone is going to care, but they actually get cheers when they come in. Ariana has also dressed in reverse drag. The guys and Ariana mingle, and Schwartz wonders how to pee with all the undergarments he’s wearing. He asks a table of women where his penis is, and says they can have it for a while, but he needs it back. He’s getting pretty drunk. Omg, we actually do see Jax trying to pee (from the back, but still), and he pees on his dress. You can dress him up, but you can’t take him out.

In her interview, Kristen says at Scheana’s bachelorette party they did the standard stuff, like carving cucumber penises and making toilet paper wedding dresses. Stassi planned this one, so they went on a murder tour. Kristen informs us that the main reason for murder in NOLA is cheating, and if they lived there, it would be a ghost town. Scheana tells them that Shay had an allergic reaction to something, but really he’s feeling left out because he doesn’t drink. That’s totally understandable. For the record, we did not carve cucumbers or make toilet paper dresses at my wedding shower, but I did have to wear a hat made out of the gift bows.

Giggy! Harrison! Lisa and Ken taste test the new dishes, along with Lisa’s business partners. Lisa says it’s a different vibe without the kids there, and they discuss the combined bachelor/bachelorette parties. Lisa tells them about how she upgraded Schwartz and Katie’s room.

The group reconvenes at the hotel. Tom has changed wigs. He felt that the dark wig was too stepmom, and the blonde is more sexy and youthful. Stassi thinks he’d get more likes than her on her dating app. She says Jax looks like your friend Tiffany, who spells her name with an “i” at the end, and needs a ride to a check cashing place and then to a 7/11 for cigarettes. I like Stassi a lot more now that she’s mellowed in the thoughtless department. She’s really very funny. In her interview, Katie says she and Tom take their fighting to extremes, but are able to forgive. Kristen doesn’t think Schwartz is as adorable as he looks.

Jax and Brittany’s room is trashed from earlier antics. I’d hate to be a maid in a Vegas hotel. Jax takes off his drag, and apologizes to his balls, saying he’ll never do that to them again.

Kristen talks to Schwartz. She says he and Katie really only fight about one thing – the chick in Vegas. Schwartz thinks the logic is flawed, and doesn’t want to discuss it. Kristen begs him to listen. He walks away, saying that Kristen is a psycho bitch. She says she just wants them to be on the same page before they get married. Schwartz is not receptive to talking, and Tom tells Kristen to leave him alone. Schwartz starts to go in the elevator, and Kristen says it’s not Tom’s business, and tells him to get out. In his interview, he says she’s a psycho and he’s been there. In the elevator, Schwartz says all kinds of crap about Kristen, including calling her a whore. Carter tells him to back off, and Tom tells him he was there, and Carter is dating the new and improved Kristen. Carter, the voice of reason, says this isn’t about Kristen right now. Tom says if she brought up the past, he has a right to.

Jax and Brittany hear them arguing, and Jax says he’s not getting involved. Schwartz says all he did was make out. Jax tells Brittany it’s a ten-year battle, but she doesn’t like the way they’re attacking Kristen when she’s not even there. Katie comes upstairs. Scwartz complains about Kristen. Katie says Kristen has been downstairs, and asks why they’re trashing her. Jax says this is going to be a disaster tomorrow.

Kristen tells Ariana and Scheana that Katie told her she’s never gotten over Schwartz cheating on her. Ariana says she gets it now.

Tom tells Scheana that all Schwartz did was kiss a girl. Schwartz says he’s not sure what happened, but he’s almost positive they didn’t have sex. The girls and Carter gather. Stassi tells Katie that she had no idea that’s why they’d been fighting, and now it makes sense. In her interview, Katie says Kristen had good intentions even if her delivery was off, but you can’t put toothpaste back in a tube. Meanwhile, Scheana tries to explain things, and Schwartz says he can’t marry Katie.

Next time, Katie calls Lisa, Jax says Schwartz admitted to hooking up, more shots are downed, there’s a possible game of spin-the-bottle, and Schwartz loses his penis again.

Walking Dead Questions Answered (Kind of)

For those who wondered about Winslow on The Walking Dead, this article probably won’t enlighten you:

http://comicbook.com/2017/02/20/the-walking-dead-who-was-winslow-/?utm_source=Comicbook.com&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=170219_221058_Comicbook.com%20Daily%20Newsletter&utm_content=Image

For those who wondered about Michonne’s lost cat, this article will enlighten you somewhat:

http://comicbook.com/2017/02/20/the-walking-dead-why-did-rick-give-michonne-cat/?utm_source=Comicbook.com&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=170219_221058_Comicbook.com%20Daily%20Newsletter&utm_content=Image

 

Feb15

February 14, 2017 – A Day Without Nurses, Veronica Stops the Search & LisaR Gets Called Out in Mexico

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital                                        

Julian Olivia-J what she did, and she says Winston reached out to find someone who is no random indigent.

Ava repeats the line, sounding nothing like Olivia-J. Jordan asks Buzz if that’s the voice he heard. What I’m wondering is this, how did he know which number Ava was? Lucky guess?

At the hospital, Finn is wondering why there’s no help, and Hayden tells him that no one is there. Finn asks if she fired the whole staff. All seven people.

Franco tells Elizabeth they’re going to cave and reverse the layoffs. He says it’s not like she abandoned her patients, since she has one at home. They start kissing, and there’s a knock at the door. It’s Griff.

Nelle gets more flowers from herself. She thinks they will get Carly’s interest up. Michael comes to the bar and asks if it’s too late for a drink. Nelle is there to close up, but asks what he’d like. He tells her that he needs something that will assuage his guilt about the layoffs.

Sonny looks at the bra, and calls Nelle a bitch. Carly calls to him from the other room. I’m so hoping he shoves the bra in his pocket and Carly finds it there.

Ava asks if she can go, but Dante says it depends on the witness. Buzz tells Jordan that Ava’s is the voice he heard; she’s the one who told him to plant the bomb. He says he’s not a criminal. He was told to plant a GPS, and now people want to kill him. Jordan asks him a bunch of different questions that all add up to, is he sure? He wants to jet, since he’s afraid the boss lady will find out. Jordan says she promised to take care of him and she will. He’ll go to a safe house, and someone will be with him at all times. He’s escorted out, and Jordan tells Ava she was identified. She says Buzz swears she’s the mastermind behind Morgan’s death.

Julian asks what Buzz is in Olivia-J’s game. She says he was told to plant a GPS under Julian’s car, and started causing trouble when he found out what it really was, but now he’s straightened out his priorities. Julian says he’s with the police sinking Ava, and Olivia says, as we speak. He tells her she can’t do this, and she says she had to. She had to do damage control when he wouldn’t get rid of Jason, and now he knows how serious she is.

Hayden tells Finn that the  nurses caught wind of the layoffs, and had a sickout. She says Finn will just have to do double-duty. Finn goes to an isolated area where there’s a cart, and sees that he has one pill left. His hand shakes as he tries to cut it, and half of it lands on the floor.

Franco asks Griff what he’s doing at Elizabeth’s house, and he says he figured he wouldn’t find Elizabeth at work. He says the hospital is chaotic, and Elizabeth hopes the board comes to their senses quickly. He gives Franco an anti-inflammatory, and says he’s lucky to have Elizabeth taking care of him, because she’s one of the best surgical nurses he’s worked with. He hopes that the sickout convinces the board that layoffs aren’t the way to go. After he’s gone, Franco says it was thoughtful, but he’s a priest, so it comes with the territory.

Michael tells Nelle that he’s justifying the layoffs by telling himself that without them, everyone would be without a job. Nelle says she’s made questionable choices that she had to rationalize, and we have to convince ourselves that we’re doing the right thing, even if it hurts other people. Michael’s phone rings. He tells Nelle that things at the hospital went from bad to worse, and he has to go. He says he’s sure she has good reason for her misdeeds.

Yes! Sonny puts the bra in his pocket. Carly says if Ava is responsible, she has to pay, but if Jason is right, that means the murderer is still out there. She wants to go home to the other kids. Sonny promises they’ll find the answers, but dammit! Carly doesn’t find the bra in his pocket.He must have big pockets too, since it’s not like this is a sports bra you can fold up real small.

Ava tells Jordan that the witness obviously isn’t credible, and Jordan assures her that he is. She says that Ava’s penthouse and gallery are being searched, as well as the Chinese food pawn shop remedy shop.

Julian tells Olivia-J that if she thinks some homeless guy’s word is enough, she’d better watch her back. She says that she has a plan in place that will give the case a boost.

Franco thinks Griff showed up for other reasons. Elizabeth points out that he brought Franco’s prescription, and asks why he’s so insecure.

Finn gobbles the pill crumbs off of the cart. Griff asks what he’s doing. He says he dropped his meds and they went everywhere. Griff asks if he’s still in pain, and Finn says it’s going to be a long night with the nurses gone, and wonders if he can get a refill.

Hayden tells Michael that it’s been crazy with the nurses gone. He says he’ll talk to Bobbie, and Hayden says that Bobbie is out too.

Carly tells Sonny that he must be desperate for a change of scenery. He wants to visit Morgan’s grave, but she asks him to wait so she can come. He agrees, and she says one day it might not hurt so bad. Right now, they have to wait and help each other deal. She leaves and he pulls out the bra, saying, Nelle, Nelle, Nelle.

Ava tells Jordan that this is a waste of time and taxpayer’s money. They won’t find anything. She didn’t try to kill her brother, and asks why Sonny is allowed to wander around harassing people. Jordan asks if anyone can confirm that he harassed her, and she says Jason was there, but he’ll never talk against Sonny. She says she heard the recording, and asks if it’s occurred to them that he might have been using “sister” in another context.

Olivia-J says Julian’s sentiments are touching. She remembers when they were close like that, but then he tried to murder her and murdered the man she loved. He says if she can stop all this, they can be a family. She could have the joy of children in her life and siblings, if she can make peace.

Carly comes to the hospital looking for Michael and Finn tells her about the sickout. Michael arrives, and Carly says she sees that he’s busy, but he asks what she needs. She says Jason has been investigating Morgan’s death, and found a recording that implicates Ava.

Sonny shows up at the bar. Nelle tells him Carly isn’t there and the restaurant is closed He says that’s the ways he likes it. She asks if there’s a problem, and he says, yeah, this, and shows her the bra. That bra is getting around more than some of the characters.

Franco tells Elizabeth that he doesn’t want to feel like this, and Elizabeth asks where it’s coming from. She asks if she’s ever given him a reason to be jealous. He says no, and she wonders if he’s unhappy with something in the relationship. He says he’s happier than he knew possible. She asks what they’re going to do about this, because jealousy is a destructive emotion. He says he has to work on it himself, and she asks why he doesn’t have more confidence. Her phone rings.

Hayden tries to deal with the garbage. Amy 2.0 shows up saying she’s there to help.

Michael is stunned at what Carly is telling him about Ava, and asks if Sonny knows. Carly tells him about Sonny going to the gallery. She says Ava is in custody, but Jason isn’t convinced she’s the one on the recording.

Dante tells Ava what they found is being processed. He shows her a lease agreement with her signature for the herb shop. Okay, I guess that’s what we’re calling it today.

Olivia-J says that she would have loved to be part of the family, and could have been the eccentric aunt. Julian says just let go and do it. Let go of the lust for revenge and they can be a family again. She says he’s forgetting that his family despises him because he tried to kill Alexis. He says Olivia forced him to do it, and she tells him that he deserved it. He asks if ava deserves it. Olivia says why not let Ava take the fall? She has lots of life to make up for.

Carly says Jason isn’t sure that Ava is behind anything, and Michael says it sounds like her work. Really? She’s always been kind of incompetent when it comes to mob business. Carly says the involvement with the Asian quarter doesn’t add up, and why would she and Julian meet in secret? Michael says he wants to believe in the system, but is afraid she’ll get off on a technicality. Carly says if she did it, she’ll pay.

Nelle acts surprised and asks where Sonny found it. She asks if Carly saw it, and says thank God when she hears that Carly didn’t. Sonny isn’t buying that she left it behind, and says she planted it so Carly would see it. She was setting him up. That’s a problem for him, and he asks if she knows how he solves problems.

Ava says she never signed any lease and has never even been to an herb shop. She says someone is setting her up. She says Julian has eluded to someone making threats, and says maybe it’s the PCPD setting her up. She tells Jordan about Curtis showing up at the gallery, and suggests maybe he was planting evidence. Dante comes in, saying the DNA found on a martini glass at the herb shop is Ava’s.

Olivia tells Julian that he’s not going to ruin everything, and he asks what she’s going to do.

Griff asks if Finn has seen Dr. Bradshaw, and says if he’s still having pain, he might need more than just meds. Finn is trying to open a package that contains an IV, claiming it’s for a patient (he probably wants to shoot the pill). Griff takes it from him and says he’ll handle it. Foiled again.

Hayden thinks Amy II is trying to get her job back, but Amy says it looks like they need help. Hayden tells her that when the nurses find out, she’ll be more disliked than Hayden.

Carly tells Michael about the charges being dropped against Sonny. He wonders how he got the ankle monitor off to go to the gallery, and Carly says an associate helped him, but only Dante knows he was gone. By the time Jordan showed up, Sonny was back. They agree it was a close call. Carly says she didn’t know whether to kiss Sonny or punch him, and Michael says it’s life as usual.

Nelle tells Sonny that she did nothing wrong, and he’s the one who cheated on his wife. Sonny says she planted the bra in his bed, and isn’t as innocent as she seems. She asks what he’s going to do to her.

Franco doesn’t want Elizabeth to go back to the hospital. She says he kind of scared her. He apologizes for being a jerk. She says one day, he’ll have to tell her why he sees other men as a threat to his happiness. He says someday, and they kiss.

Amy Part Two says her patients need her and she doesn’t care if no one likes her. Hayden says okay, she’s rehired. Not being a total idiot, Amy wants it in writing that she’s employed at the hospital forevermore.

Griff asks why Finn’s hands are so shaky, and Finn blames it on a blood sugar drop. Griff runs into Hayden, who tells him that Finn went off on her. She wonders if he said anything to Griff, but Griff tells her that if she wants to know what’s happening with Finn, talk to him.

Finn finds the pill behind the cart and swallows it.

Julian asks Olivia-J if trying to kill him and frame Ava isn’t enough. He asks what more she could possibly do, and she tells him to go.

Ava says the only way her DNA could have been on anything is if someone planted it. She begs them to bring Julian back in. Dante reads her the Miranda rights.

Sonny tells Nelle that she’s in over her head, and making herself his enemy. She says she didn’t do anything. He says he doesn’t want her near his house—ever. If he sees her there, she’ll have to deal with the consequences. If she jeopardizes Carly’s happiness, he’ll make her go away, and it’s not as simple as taking a job in Atlanta. She says she understands, and she’s sorry. He tells her that she went too far this time. Next time, it’s over for her.

Michael tells Carly that he’s glad she and Sonny are finding their way back, and that Morgan would be happy. She says one day they’ll look up at the stars and believe he’s part of the universe.

Nelle listens to the tape of Sonny. She says she’s keeping tog so she can

Tomorrow, Dillon brings Valentines to Kiki, Ava talks to Sonny, and Anna tells Andre that she once put Valentin on a hit list.

The Haves and the Have Nots

Hanna asks Benny where his bracelet is. Benny claims he doesn’t know. Quincy Jr. wakes up and runs to Candace, asking where she’s been and if she misses him. She says she’s been taking care of some things, and she did miss him. He shows her the game he’s been playing. Benny suggests he take a bath and get ready for bed. When he leaves, Hanna asks Benny what he did. He says he didn’t do anything. She asks what Candace has gotten him into.

Hanna says she can’t do this anymore. Benny says there’s nothing to tell, and Hanna starts yelling and throwing things around. She smacks Benny and he tells her that he’s not a boy anymore. She says if she has to beat his ass to save his life, she will, and calls Candace evil. Benny tries to come to her defense, and Hanna tells him to shut up and not disrespect her. Quincy Jr. comes out to see what’s going on, and Hanna says everything is fine; she’s just upset. He asks her to promise not to scream, because he doesn’t like it. Benny tells him to get on with his bath. Candace goes to help him.

Hanna says Benny is going back to jail, and she told him that’s where Candace was going to lead him. He says he’s not going, and she says what does he think is going to happen when they ID the bracelet? He tells her it’s going to be all right. Hanna prays for the truth to be revealed.

Quincy Jr. asks Candace why Hanna is mad. Candace says there’s a lot going on and he doesn’t need to worry about it. He asks if she did something, and she says no. He says grandma talks about her a lot, and Candace asks what she says. Quincy Jr. says she prays for Candace a lot. Candace says she’s been doing that for a long time, and he says she made him pray for her too. He asked God to help her be there for him. Candace says she’s sorry, but Quincy Jr. says God will answer his prayers. He asks if she prays and she says no, because she doesn’t think anyone hears. He tells her to pray louder.

David arrives to take Erica to dinner. He asks if she’s okay, and apologizes for Veronica. He asks what Veronica said to her, and Erica says Veronica said she was a hurricane coming for her, so batten down the hatches. He asks if it affects their relationship, and she says his only concern should be where to take her to dinner. She clichély asks him to zip up her dress. She tells him it seems like he needs to be prompted, and he gives her a ton of compliments that sound like they’re out of a romance novel. He says he wants to make love to her until the sun comes up, and she says she can’t do that. She says it seems like he switched it up on her, and he says it’s good not to get too comfortable.

Veronica goes to Candace’s townhouse. An officer stops her, and she says she’s Candace’s attorney. He blocks her from coming in, and George steps in. I’m assuming he’s a detective, since he has authority and he’s wearing a suit. He gets the warrant to show her, and she says it’s not a good warrant. George says they have a right to search, and she says only by the current homeowner. She tells him that the bank owned the house as of this afternoon, and anything they’ve found after five o’clock is inadmissible. He says she plays dirty, and she says she doesn’t have to this time. She asks when they found the body and he says at six. He tells her that Candace killed Quincy, but Veronica says they don’t have a body to prove it. George wants to talk to Candace, and threatens to have her arrested. Veronica says fine, she’ll take care of it in the morning. George says she has her own trial to deal with, and Veronica says she’ll win it, along with this one. George says he’ll pick Candace up tonight, and Veronica says she has counsel. I have to add that there was a plane flying overhead during part of the conversation and I could barely hear it. And I mean a plane on the show. I’ll chalk this up to budget and/or time. The worst case of noise interference was when they were doing construction in NYC near where One Life to Live was filmed. For what seemed like a year, there was drilling in the background of certain scenes. It would start to become unnoticeable, but then all of a sudden, I would be aware of it again. Most. Annoying. Thing. Ever.

George asks what kind of car Veronica’s son drives. He asks if she can tell him why the keys would be with a dead body, and she says she can’t, but she can tell him that she’ll see him in the morning. He says he’s going to see the Cryers next, and she asks why. He asks if she’s their attorney too, and when she says no, he says he’ll talk to whoever is then. She says if it’s big, she’ll be the first to know. The fake pleasantly bid each other good-night.

Veronica finds Jim leaning against her car. She asks him to get off of it. He says he came to apologize for Kathryn. She thinks he should go back further, like when he tried to choke her. Jim says he had her son raped in prison. She asks what he wants, and he repeats that he came to apologize. He says he’s sorry he assaulted her, and she asks him what he wants again. He wants them to all be on the same page; he knows what Kathryn did. He says he knows she tried to say Veronica did it, but it’s not her style. Veronica says when you put a hit out on someone, you don’t do it yourself. She knows he put a hit out on her and called it off. She asks why, and he says he felt bad. She doesn’t believe it, and he admits that David asked him too. She doesn’t believe that either, but Jim tells her that she’s a bad judge of who David is, and goes on about how much David loved her. He asks how she knew. She says she knows every criminal in town, and not to let the diamonds fool him; she’s a girl from the streets. He tells her what happened to Maggie Day was clever. She thinks it was brilliant, and that she set everything up. Jim asks how she knows he isn’t wearing a wire, and Veronica says she has a lot on him. He says he wants to make sure she’s not going to the cops about their friend who got shot. She tells him that it sounds like a threat. He says he just wants to make sure they’re all on the same page. They sort of flirt, and Jim asks if they’re in this thing together, but she says she doesn’t know. David has gotten involved with something, and she’s not sure how to react. Jim asks if it’s a woman, an says she needs to let it go; he’s moved on. Veronica says she has a really big puzzle One piece is meaningless, but when you put it all together, voila! Jim says he called the hit off, and she says she has all kinds of things stashed away with several different attorneys, who will open them if anything happens to her. Then, they’ll have to meet in order to put the puzzle pieces together. She is clever.

Jim suggests that Veronica play it his way. She tells him not to threaten her. She says the police car that just went by is on the way to his house. He asks what she told them. She says he’ll have to go and see. She looks so gorgeous in her white skirt suit. And her hair is always amazing. Like when they took her wig after she went to jail, and she was all weird about it, but IMO, her hair looked like she’d just stepped off a runway.

Justin comes to Jeffrey’s hotel room. Jeffrey’s phone rings. It’s Veronica. She asks where he is and he tells her he’s at the hotel and she asks if he’s with “that thing,” meaning Candace. He says she’s in the bathroom, and Veronica says to tell her to hide, because the police are looking for her, adding that they also found Jeffrey’s keys. She says he needs to get home and she’ll meet him there. She tells him to take a cab.

Jeffrey says he sees Justin couldn’t get the keys. Justin says he’s sorry, but he tried. Jeffrey says his mother is a really good attorney. Justin says his wife is the judge on the case he’s supposed to testify at, and asks if he’s okay. Jeffrey says he has to go. There’s a woman he has to marry because of all of this. Justin says it’s not that bad. Jeffrey says for him, but Jeffrey can’t play both sides. He tells Justin not to pity him, since he’s the closeted a-hole. Justin says Jeffrey changed that. He was doing crazy stuff before Jeffrey came along, and now he’s helping him. Jeffrey promises not to say anything, and Justin says he’s not helping him for that reason. Justin comes on to Jeffrey, and says he wants him.

Quita and Dude watch Wyatt be uncomfortable. Funny. Dude calls Wyatt “Dude,” and I say, “But that’s your name, Dude.” One day I must find out what his real name is. Quita says that Wyatt will be throwing up soon, and asks Dude if he’s never seen anyone go through withdrawal. Dude gives Quita a bank account statement. She says it’s from overseas, and asks Wyatt if he has a bank here. He shakes his head, and she says that’s too bad, because they’ll have to stay until they get it all. He says they can’t stay there; he’ll write them a check. She says make it out to you think I’m a damn fool? He asks her to give him something, anything. He just came out of the hospital after an overdose. She tells Wyatt that he’s like the crackhead ho’s on her block. She tells him she’s horny, and would like to know what it’s like to be with a rich, white boy. She’s just kidding, which is a relief to me if she thinks he’s going to be throwing up, but she wants to get with Dude. They go into the bedroom.

While they’re undressing, Wyatt reaches behind the couch cushion.

Quincy Jr. is squeaky clean. Hanna tells him they have to register for school in the morning, and it’s time for bed. He asks Candace if she’ll be there in the morning, and Benny says she will. Candace kisses Quincy Jr. good-night. Hanna gets a call, and goes into the bathroom. It’s Kathryn. She says she hasn’t heard from Hanna, and Hanna says she’s been dealing with a lot. She asks if Hanna wants her to mail her check, but Hanna says she’ll come by in the morning. Hanna says she’s going to have to sell the car, but Kathryn wants to help. Hanna refuses.

Jim comes into the room and makes Kathryn hang up. He says the police are coming, and that Veronica told him. Kathryn wonders if they’re coming to arrest her. Jim says she’s not going anywhere, and he’ll answer all the questions. She asks if he knows who he’s talking to. There’s a knock at the door, and Jim says he’ll be there in a minute.

Next time, Candace asks if Hanna knows who her daddy is, Kathryn wants to know why someone is still breathing, War is going to get what’s his, and Justin gets jealous.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

When we last left, LisaR had just arrived in Mexico. She screeches a hello to the guests in the pool, who are gathered around floating tables filled with wonderful things to eat. In her interview, Kyle says it feels awkward. She knows what Lisa said, and she’s pissed off. Lisa goes off to find her room.

Dorit says it’s 500 degrees out, but I think she’s exaggerating. It’s the night of Mauricio’s launch party, and Mauricio gets the gift bags ready. LisaR announces herself. In her interview, Kyle says you pull out the Beverly Hills greeting when you don’t want to ruin a party because you’re angry at someone. Or what I call general good manners. The party guests gather, Mauricio makes a speech, and everyone applauds. He gives props to Kyle, which is commendable. The mariachi band plays.

LisaR and Eileen talk to Erika about their daughters’ modeling gigs. Lisa gets all teary about Gigi Hadid again. Eileen has Montezuma’s Revenge, and thinks the Kim and Kyle thing is bringing up a lot of stuff for Eden. Erika thinks they should talk to Kyle, since Eden has inserted herself into her and Kim’s relationship, and now they’re inserted too. In her interview, Erika says these things have real impact, and need to be dealt with immediately.

LisaV talks to Dorit about LisaR telling Eden that Kim is at death’s door. Wow. That’s five Wives in one sentence.

LisaR approaches Kyle, saying she doesn’t know what is going on. Kyle says Eden told her some upsetting things that she said, including Kim being close to death, and not 100% sober, and Kyle being an enabler. In her interview, Lisa claims not to remember it. Roll the tape.

Kyle asks if LisaR said those things. We flash back, and I thank Bravo, Andy, and the cameraman. Lisa says she doesn’t remember saying any of that. Kyle says that’s what Eden told her. Lisa says she had a conversation with Eden about Eden, and had said she didn’t want to talk about Kim. She opens and closes her mouth like a fish for a while. In her interview, LisaV suggests that she has selective memory. Eileen thinks Eden is projecting, and Dorit agrees. Kyle asks where Eden would get that assumption, and LisaR says she must have made it up. Erika calls it the biggest game of telephone ever. LisaR says she needs to choose her words more carefully, and LisaV says she warned her about that. Kyle isn’t buying it, and thinks Eden must have gotten some idea from her. LisaR says she didn’t mean it in a mean way. Kyle wonders which it is, did she not say anything, or not say something in a mean way, and Lisa says maybe it was in another context. In her interview, LisaV does a pretty good impression of LisaR screeching “own it!” Figuratively flipping the tables (you have to be specific with this show), LisaR says that Eden is projecting on to her. In her interview, Kyle says she’d love to give Lisa the benefit of the doubt, but because of the past, it’s difficult. LisaR feels sad about it, and Eileen looks like she wants the floor to swallow her. LisaR tells Kyle to kick her in the behind, and Kyle says she’s getting a margarita. In her interview, LisaR says she let Eden in too soon.

LisaR disappears into the night, or at least down the driveway. Dorit sees her and follows. Lisa wants to go home, because she’s a big baby who got caught stirring the pot. She starts crying, saying she can’t deal with this. Eileen comes out and Lisa sobs on her shoulder. Puh-leeze. Lisa says she doesn’t want to do this, and wails what did she do? No, Lisa, it’s #WhatDidHarryDo? She says she never cries, which is ridiculous, and says her life is too good for this – although apparently not too good for the paycheck.

LisaV and Kyle dance while they discuss LisaR.

LisaR moans that no one loves her, and wonders why no one came to her with this atrocity. Eileen extracts herself, and LisaR goes with her. She tells everyone that Eileen is sick. She adds that she doesn’t feel so good herself, since Eileen can’t get all the attention. They leave and LisaV asks why LisaR is crying. Erika doesn’t want to see anyone cry, and joins them. In her interview, LisaV thinks that LisaR is angry and lashes out, then regrets it when the repercussions come.

In her interview, Erika says it’s possible not to remember everything you say. I dunno, I think if I said someone was at death’s door, I’d remember. She tells Kyle that she’s going with them. Kyle says she doesn’t want people leaving a party like that, but if you said those things, you said them.

Erika sits on LisaR’s bed with her. She tells Lisa that she has to choose her words carefully. Lisa says if she did it, she would cop to it, but she doesn’t remember. Erika says they’re big words, and begs Lisa to tell the facts. Lisa says she can’t if she doesn’t know the facts. In her interview, Erika thinks Lisa is eventually going to own it.

The rest of the gang heads back, and they joke around in the limo. They laugh about making LisaV’s knickers into a pillowcase.

LisaV practices her Spanish at breakfast, talking about shampoo. LisaR calls home, and tells Harry that there was an issue she didn’t expect. She says that Eden told LisaV that she was saying awful things about the Richards sisters. Harry says she never said those things to him. She says she doesn’t think it’s right, and she’s not allowing it, surprising me by not stamping her foot. Harry makes some astute observations that would make sense if this was sane. Lisa says he’s put her at ease.

Eden’s mother visits. I guess she didn’t go to Mexico? In her interview, Eden says when her mother got sober is when she started to drink. Her mother started drinking again after her sister died, and then they both got sober together. She talks to her mother about the Richards sisters, telling her that she sees herself and her sister in them. Her mother says they’re in a different space and to back off. Eden says it was overwhelming, but they saw her as causing trouble. Her mother tells her that it’s not her life. In her interview, Eden says she’s hearing things she already knows; she just has to get out of her own way, and accept that she’s powerless over other people.

Infinity pool! Dorit and PK call the kids. Dorit starts crying the second she hears “mommy.” The nanny says they’re fine, and Dorit says it’s like a knife in her heart. They join the breakfast table. LisaV wonders where LisaR and Eileen are. Kyle arrives, and LisaV says that she has to leave for Washington DC where she’s campaigning to stop the Yulan festival. In her interview, she says it’s preferable to being with Kyle and LisaR on a boat all day. Yep.

Eileen is still sick, but LisaR joins the group. Kyle is uncomfortable. Although she didn’t like seeing Lisa in tears, she’s glad it’s at least out in the open. They take a bus to the marina, and Erika spies an iguana on the way. The boat is a gigantic catamaran, and margaritas are immediately dispensed. The water is absolutely beautiful.

LisaR tells Eileen that she feels like she has an emotional hangover. She doesn’t feel like she was heard, and doesn’t know where it all came from. Of course they think LisaV is behind it. LisaR says that LisaV is mad because she was called out and wants her to go down. She says LisaV was “gleeful” the night before and loved every minute of it. I don’t know about that, but I do think LisaV likes it when someone gets their comeuppance. Me too.

PK thinks Eileen and LisaR are isolating themselves, but Erika says it’s all good, and wonders why he cares. Eileen goes to get something to eat, while PK and Erika join LisaR. Lisa says she’s living in the moment. They decide to go in the water which is where I’d like to be. Dorit and Kyle stay on the boat. PK offers Dorit a Birkin if she jumps in. She jumps in. He doesn’t promise Kyle a Birkin, so she stays on board. Dorit shows us the bag in her interview, saying that’s how you get a Birkin.

Back on the boat, they play Erika’s music and everyone slithers around. Erika says she knew LisaR had it in her.

Next time, LisaR gets an award, Kyle works on her new show, LisaV and Erika cook, and LisaR confronts Eden.

🐶 Congrats to Chuckie the Pekingese for winning Best in Toy Group, and Rumor the German Shepherd for winning Best in Show at the Westminster Dog Show! Paws up! 🐾

valentinesdaypeke2

Feb14

February 13, 2017 – Anna Spies Olivia-J, the SUR Gang Invades NOLA & a New Show Invades Bravo

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Felicia hunts down Nelle at the bar and brings her more decorating stuff. She mentions Nelle’s guy, and Nelle flashes back to planting the bra in Sonny’s bed. She says maybe her bedroom could use some sizzle.

Sonny talks to Carly about being a free man. Carly says nothing is keeping him there now, but he asks why he’d want to go out when what he wants is right there. They kiss.

Julian comes to Jordan’s office and whines about being a victim.  She tells him about the charges against Sonny being dropped, and that he’s no longer under house arrest.

Dante brings Ava to the interrogation room. He says his brother is dead, and she’s been implicated. She says he had nothing to do with it; she loved Morgan. Dante asks what Julian is talking about on the tape then, and she says she has no idea. Whoever the sister is, it ain’t her.

At the hospital, Olivia-J walks past Anna while she’s busy talking to Winston on the phone.

Lulu approaches Valentin at the bar, and says she comes in peace.

Anna sees Olivia-J from the back, and flashes back to trapping her in an elevator.

Carly and Sonny reminisce over the shows Morgan used to put on for them. Carly asks if it was wrong for her to bring it up, but Sonny says no, he likes remembering those things. She says sometimes she’ll have a memory out of the blue and she’ll feel happy, but then she just stops feeling, because being happy means moving on. Sonny says it feels like betrayal, and he understands. Carly says they can’t give into the feeling, and that Morgan wouldn’t want them to live a joyless life; that would be a true betrayal. Sonny says Carly makes him happy, and she says ditto. They start to kiss and then roll around on the bed.

Felicia tells Nelle about the colors the thinks would be good, contemporary yet classic. She doesn’t know how to pull in Nelle’s history though, and suggests a modern twist on Southern Gothic. Nelle likes the idea, although her family isn’t really from Georgia.

Ava tells Dante to talk to Julian, and he says Julian is being questioned right now. He asks where she was today, and she tells him that she went to work and was accosted by Sonny. Dante wonders if she’s as innocent as she claims, and she thinks about switching Morgan’s pills.

Julian asks Jordan if the DA knows the charges were dropped, and she says new evidence has come to light. She asks what he was doing this morning, and he lies. He says Ava left for work early, and he hung out at the apartment and then went to the MetroCourt. She asks if anyone can confirm that he was at home and what time he left for the MetroCourt. He says the doorman might remember him leaving, but doesn’t know the exact time or if he made any side trips. She asks if he stopped to pick up some ginseng or lotus root, since the Chinese food pawn shop is now a remedy shop. She plays the tape for him. She says it doesn’t sound like Sonny wanted him dead, but that his own sister tried to kill him.

Anna follows Olivia-J. Her migraine worsens, and her vision becomes blurry. She follows Olivia into an examination room. Her pills drop onto the floor, and Olivia kicks them away. Anna asks if someone is there, and if they see her pills. Olivia just stands there silently.

Valentin says he has to go, and Lulu asks if he has time for her apology.

Felicia says she thought Nelle was from Atlanta, and Nelle says she did live there, but she’s originally from Florida. She says she worked hard to get rid of her Florida accent so she wouldn’t seem like a hick. What? I didn’t even know Floridians had a pronounced accent, much less sound like hicks.

Carly and Sonny bask in the afterglow. She asks him if it was Ava who planted the bomb.

Ava’s story checks out. Most of it. Dante asks when she got to work, and she says eight in the morning. He says her assistant says she stepped out for a moment. Ava tells him that she went home to pick up some contracts, but couldn’t have been gone longer than an hour. He says she can’t account for her whereabouts at the same time the recording was being made. He plays it for her, and asks if she wants to comment.

Julian tells Jordan that he has nothing more to say. She says he had a few things to say on the recording. He insists it wasn’t him, and she shows him the picture. She says if he cooperates, she might be able to do something for him. She’ll make sure there are no charges brought against him for obstruction of justice. He moans about being the victim again. She says the recording proves that he knew Sonny wasn’t responsible, and she doesn’t think the jury will be sympathetic to him setting up a grieving father. He says someone set him up, and Jordan says yeah, Ava, and a good prosecutor will build a conspiracy and collusion case. He tells her to arrest him or let him go.

Sonny tells Carly what the recording picked up, and how he went to Ava’s gallery. He tells her about Jason showing up and saving Ava’s life, and he assumes she’s at the station right now. Carly says she’s going to find Ava and kill her personally.

Ava says she doesn’t know who it is in the picture, but it’s not her. She sees Julian walking past the window, and tells Dante to ask him. She pops out the door, and tells Julian to set Dante straight. Julian says she did nothing wrong, and just tell the truth. He walks away, and she hollers that he should tell them.

A man finds Anna leaning up against the examining table. He finds her pills and gives them to her. Olivia-J continues to sneak around, and should probably put her phone on vibrate, since it starts to ring loudly. Julian texts 911. Anna asks if the guy saw a woman in the room, and swallows some of her pills. Her vision starts to clear, and she says she knows him. He says he trained with her and Valentin at the WSB. It’s Carl, the man she asked Robert to find.

Lulu tells Valentin she wants to apologize to him and Nina. He asks if she means for going behind Nina’s back and hurting Charlotte a second time. He calls her thoughtless and entitled, and says that she doesn’t care about Charlotte’s feelings. He won’t forgive her for traumatizing his daughter.

Felicia tells Nelle that Bobbie is also from Florida. She has to take a call, and steps away from the table. Michael sees Nelle, and she explains that Felicia is building a portfolio and helping her with some decorating. She says it must be awkward for Michael working with her, since she doesn’t get along well with Bobbie. Michael tells her that Felicia and Bobbie are the best of friends.

On the phone, Felicia says (I assume to Bobbie) that Nelle told her that she’s from Florida, but there hasn’t been any information about the boyfriend yet. She says sooner or later, Nelle will give something up. Michael tells Nelle that Felicia and Bobbie’s friendship is a Port Charles legend, and explains about Maxie getting BJ’s heart. Nelle says Felicia owes her daughter’s life to Bobbie, and would most likely do anything for her. Once again, Felicia proves what a wonderful detective she is, since it’s not like Nelle lives in a bubble.

Carly tells Sonny to get out of the way. She says it was her job to protect Morgan, but he’s gone forever and Ava is walking around free. She’s going to stop her. Sonny tells her that Jason stopped him because they’re not sure, and he isn’t going to let her throw her life away for Ava.

Ava wants to press charges against Sonny. She insists it wasn’t her on the recording, and Jordan suggests an audio line-up.

Olivia-J questions Julian about being at the station. He says it’s only a matter of time before they’re breathing down her neck as well as his. He tells her they have a recording, have him on tape saying his sister planted the bomb, and they also have a picture. She calls him an idiot, and smacks him across the face.

Anna tells Carl that it’s been a long time, and thanks him for coming to her rescue. He says it’s good to see her despite the circumstances. She wonders if he can fill in the blanks. He says he’ll try, but she should be grateful for them, and keep as much distance between herself and Valentin as possible. He reminds me of Christolph Waltz in Django Unchained. Honestly, I did a doubletake.

Lulu says she wants to spend time with Charlotte and can’t Valentin understand? He says he understands that she does whatever she wants. She calls him a sanctimonious hypocrite, since he killed her brother and got away with it.

Anna wonders what Valentin is doing in Port Charles and what his agenda is, since she seems to be at the top of it. She doesn’t understand how a rebuffed kiss could cause all of this. Carl says it’s more than unrequited love.

Nelle tells Michael that she must have misunderstood something. Michael has to go to an emergency board meeting, and Felicia returns. Nelle tells her she wants to talk about her boyfriend.

Sonny tells Carly that he feels like a hypocrite, since he was going to do the same thing. He would have pulled the trigger if Jason hadn’t reminded him that he doesn’t want to be locked away from his family. He says they can’t do anything until they know 100% that it’s Ava. Carly asks when they’ll know.

Julian tells Olivia-J that the cops overplayed their hand and think it’s Ava. She says of course they do.

Dante tells Ava that they have an eyewitness. Ava says that should clear her. Jordan says he can only identify the voice, and if she wants to clear it up, it’s best to cooperate. Ava says lets go, and afterward, she’s going after Sonny because she’s tired of being on the losing end.

Lulu tells Valentin that she made mistakes, but only because she loves Charlotte. She asks what his excuse is, and how will he justify killing Nicholas to Charlotte? He talks about Richard III, and says if Richard had won, it would have been a different story. Well, yeah. He says he’ll tell Charlotte when he tells her, which I translate to meaning butt out.

Anna asks Carl what reason Valentin would have to target her. She says she hasn’t even thought about him since her training days, and tells him about the files vanishing. He says they’ve probably been redacted. He tells her that one day Valentin didn’t show up for work, and vanished afterward. He says Valentin probably found out what was coming. He was targeted and put on a kill a list, and Anna put him there.

Carly wonders why they’re giving Ava the benefit of the doubt. Sonny says they have to be sure, because if it’s someone else, they don’t want them getting away. Carly asks if Jason has any leads. Sonny tells her about Ava saying she did something that she regretted, and he thinks even if she didn’t kill Morgan, she had something to do with it.

Nelle tells Felicia that she really just needs the basics, decluttering and organizing. She thinks her boyfriend might be available soon, and maybe move in.

Carly goes to the bathroom, and Sonny sees the bra. Which isn’t exactly where Nelle put it. He picks it up like the jackass he is, since no doubt Carly will come back to find him examining it.

Jordan gives Buzz a set of headphones and tells him to let her know if she hears the voice of Winston’s boss. It’s like a regular line-up except each person recites a line into a mic. She asks if he recognizes any of the voices.

Olivia tells Julian there’s an old Chinese proverb that says dig your well while you’re thirsty. In other words, be prepared.

Buzz isn’t sure. He asks to hear one of them again. Dante tells Ava to do it over.

Tomorrow, Julian asks Olivia what she did, Michael asks if the entire staff has been fired, and Sonny calls Nelle a bitch.

Vanderpump Rules

Giggy! In the opening credits.

Stassi is packing for the trip to NOLA, and Kristen drops by. Stassi says she feels like it’s her own wedding, she’s so stressed, and has nightmares about Katie being disappointed in her. Kristen wants her to be fun and flirty, and forget about Patrick. We flash back to the disaster that was Kyle at Summer House. Kristen says that Patrick didn’t give her a solid reason to break up, but he was a bad boyfriend, and she deserves something to be excited about, not something wishy-washy. Stassi starts crying, and says she doesn’t want to talk about it anymore. In her interview, she hopes the NOLA trip lifts her spirits.

Ariana’s mom is visiting, and they talk horses. In her interview, Ariana says that since her mom lives in Florida, they only get to see each other a couple of times a year. Tom tells them about the fight that Schwartz and Katie had, which basically started over him and Ariana.

Lisa discusses actual work with manager Chad at SUR. He tells her that James is DJ-ing tonight. The Daily Mail is having a party and requested him. Lisa reminds James of the non-drinking policy. Ken tells him it’s a big chance and not to blow it. Lisa says if he lets her down, she’ll personally kick his ass.

Scheana is having a pool party at her mom’s house. We flash back to the fight and making up she had with Katie. Schwartz shows up wearing a block print “shirt” that looks an awful lot like a dress I have. He says it’s a mu-mu he bought in Hawaii that’s become a symbolic garment that he wears when he’s given up on the day. In his interview, Jax says Schwartz and Katie’s relationship is like a stinky room. Instead of finding the source of the problem, they just Febreze it away. Very astute for Jax. The girls play beer pong in the pool.

Stassi asks Katie what’s wrong, and she says she hasn’t really talked to Schwartz today. They discuss the shower and how Ariana put a damper on it. Katie says it’s frustrating when the man she’s going to marry puts another woman’s feelings above hers. She wonders if she needs to be blonder, thinner, or cooler to get Schwartz to respect her. My advice to Katie is – don’t do this. Stay with him if you must, but don’t marry him. IMO, if you’re not number one before the wedding, you aren’t going to be afterward.

Stassi talks to Brittany about the NOLA trip. Brittany asks what’s up with Katie and Schwartz. Katie is sitting by herself and they join her. Schwartz is talking to Kristen, who tells him to stop talking sh*t about Katie, and he says she can’t take any criticism. In his interview, Jax wonders if they should be getting married. Scheana tells Schwartz how to handle an argument, and Jax thinks she’s the last person who should be giving out marital advice. Like he knows all about this stuff.

Schwartz goes over to Katie and tries to give her a kiss. He apologizes and wants to hug it out, but she’s sticking with a high five, although she doesn’t think that’s going to solve it. She says it would be nice if he’d make her feelings a priority. He says that he does, but she says she’s not getting that from him. Me neither. I don’t think he should have asked Ariana to be in the bridal party. That was a real slap in the face to Katie.

Jax and Brittany pack. She wants to bring beach towels, but he says they’ll have towels at the hotel, then barks at her about the laundry needing to be done. In her interview, she says no matter how much he hurts her feelings, she can never get him to apologize. Another relationship that needs to take a powder.

Tom shows Ariana the butt pads he got for his drag costume. He insists she’s jealous.

Scheana talks to Shay while she’s packing, and says she hopes Katie and Schwartz are able to bring some harmony to their relationship. She adds a penis wand left over from the last bachelorette party to her suitcase. Like that might help.

Schwartz tells Katie he’ll have her back on the trip, and even if chaos erupts, they won’t turn on each other.

The gang is met with beads at the hotel. It’s Scheana and Shay’s second wedding anniversary, so they leave the group and will meet them later. Jax’s card has been declined, and Brittany has to pinch hit. Dump him. Dump him now. Everyone checks out their rooms, which are pretty nice, especially the suite Katie and Schwartz have. In her interview, Stassi feels like everyone expects her to be the life of the party, but she’s still feeling the break-up. She orders room service. Schwartz and Katie find a bottle of champagne and a note from Lisa, saying the room is on her, but only if they make good use of the bed.

Brittany has brought penis balloons, and Ariana has brought…I’m not sure what it is, but it’s big. Stassi comes to Katie and Schwartz’s suite, and tells them she ordered food sent to their room. Schwartz wants them to show their boobs at least once while they’re in NOLA, which is not received well by Katie.

The little horses! Lisa gives them some biscuits. Katie, Schwartz and Stassi call, and Lisa wonders why Stassi is with them. They thank her for the room and the champagne. She tells them to enjoy themselves and celebrate before the hard work begins. In her interview, Lisa says she didn’t have a bachelorette party because Ken was so naughty, she knew he’d misbehave if he had a bachelor party and they’d never get married.

The crew walks the street, where there is much drinking, flashing, and bead throwing. They stop to listen to a jazz band. In her interview, Stassi says the first time she got drunk was on Bourbon Street after prom, and she ended up being escorted back to the limo by the police after getting sick all over the place.

In his interview, Schwartz says he was skeptical about combining the parties, but now that he’s in NOLA, he’s enjoying it. They stop at a bar and separate – girls on one side, guys on the other. Tom gives Schwartz a shirt that says Tom #1, and he wears one that says Tom #2. Brittany has brought plastic “diamond” rings that you can drink shots out of.

Scheana gives Shay a boudoir book for their anniversary. In her interview, she says the first year was difficult, and we flash back to his addiction issues. She tells him it takes a lifetime to accomplish what he’s done in a year. He tells her the worst thing that could happen to him is losing her, and she’s the love of his life. They kiss. BTW, they’re divorced now.

Hurricanes for everyone! The drinks, not the weather. Scheana and Shay join the parties, and Ariana goes back and forth between the groups. Katie tells Tom that the time is just flying by, and she’s been losing her mind. She says 90% of the reason she and Schwartz fight is because of the tension with their friends. She tells him what happened with Ariana at the shower. He starts to defend Lala, and Katie doesn’t want to hear it. He thinks there’s something deeper with her and Schwartz’s arguing, and she says that’s not the case. Ariana discusses the same thing with Schwartz, but she thinks it’s the drinking. Schwartz says Ariana doesn’t remember a lot of the arguments, and Ariana says that’s scary. Apparently, it doesn’t take much to frighten her. Tom tells Katie they should learn to talk it out. In her interview, Katie says this is a party, and she doesn’t need to be discussing her relationship with Dr. Tom Sandoval. Schwartz joins them, and Katie tells him that Tom thinks they should go to therapy. Katie drifts away from the table.

Commercial break. Ha-ha! I love those Farmer’s Insurance commercials. This one has a hamster going up a guy’s pant leg while he’s driving. V.I.Poo needs to take a break though. Now they’re suggesting giving it as a gift. Yeah, that’s on everyone’s Christmas list.

James drops by SUR, and asks to talk to Lisa. He tells to her about the Daily Mail party and says it went really well. He says everything seems to be coming together for him. She asks what he’s doing on his off nights, and he begs for work, but she says no. She says if he shows her he’s sober for a year, maybe. He balks at a year, and she tells him she could say she never wants him back. He leaves on a kind of good note. As good as it’s going to get anyway.

Stassi wants to talk to Brittany, and they sit outside. Jax stupidly joins them, and Stassi says she doesn’t need everyone being coupley in front of her face. In her interview, Stassi says that Patrick knows about all the awful things Jax has done to her. He never wanted to come to group events because of it, and it made a wedge between them. We flash back to some of Jax’s many relationship atrocities. Jax thinks Patrick is using it as a cop out. I think he means excuse. Stassi says if Jax would apologize, it would mean everything. He acts like a jerk, and she tells him he doesn’t get it. No, and he’s never going to, so don’t bother trying.

Jax wonders what he should say, and Stassi tells him “sorry” would be good. He says he’s sorry and he was an a-hole, cheater, and liar. Wow. Oh wait, he’s drunk. He says he was a piece of sh*t, and gets all teary and keeps saying sorry. Good thing we have this on video. Stassi thanks him. In her interview, she says it’s vindicating. Brittany asks if they want some alone time, but Stassi says she needs a break.

Brittany feels a little jealous, since Jax can’t apologize to her. We flash back to their crappy relationship. Jax tells her that her attitude always stinks, and she tells him to name a time, but he can’t.

Next time, Schwartz and Katie argue, the guys dress in drag, Schwartz and Kristen argue, and Schwartz wants to cancel the wedding.

🍸 A new show snuck in on Bravo – So Cosmo – about the staff at Cosmopolitan. I haven’t checked it out yet, but I’m definitely curious. I haven’t read a Cosmo in decades, but I’m wondering if it’s still about how to get a man, how to keep a man, and how to get another man when you lose that one.

 

Feb8

February 7, 2017 – Hospital Upheaval, Benny Finds Candace, the Wives Go to Mexico & Caroline #1 Leaves for Dubai

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Julian tells Olivia-J that she’ll have GH and to lay off his family. She says, we’ll see. Curtis and Jason hear him say no more threats and call her his sister. Jason takes a picture, thinking it might be Ava, since all he can see is blonde hair. Olivia says Julian has no reason to fear her – as long as he gets her General Hospital.

Elizabeth catches up with Felix at the hospital. He tells her that Franco was brave, and everyone was surprised. She says people don’t know him, and he’s a good guy if given a chance. Felix says she brings out the best in him.

Michael wants to make sure the numbers are correct. Hayden says she doesn’t want to fire anyone either, and appreciates him being objective. Amy 2.0 horns in on the conversation.

Nina comes into the office rattling off the million things they have to do. She realizes she’s talking to no one, because Maxie is still at her desk. She asks Maxie if there’s a problem, and Maxie says that Nina and her husband are keeping her best friend away from her daughter.

Alexis meets with Dante and Lulu, reminding them that she can only consult, since she doesn’t have her license back yet. Lulu says they’re more than prepared to fight Valentin.

Carly is happy that Morgan’s foundation has now been set up. Sonny wants Morgan’s spirit to live on. While they’re talking, Nelle plants the brand spankin’ new bra in Sonny’s bed. I’ll say it again that I think a woman would be able to tell that it’s an unworn garment. (Off topic <sort of> advice: When you buy new clothes, give them a wash before wearing them. It gets rid of some of the chemicals used in manufacturing. This goes for linens too.) And what if Sonny finds it? He’ll be like wth? and ask Carly if it’s hers, confusing everyone. And isn’t there a cleaning lady? Nelle slides the bra into a place where it would never fall naturally. She gets the forms and goes back downstairs.

Carly talks to Sonny about Michael being on the hospital board now, and how he has enough responsibility. Nelle gives her the forms. Carly thanks her, and she says they’ve done so much for her, it’s only fair that she finds a way to pay them back.

Nina says Maxie doesn’t know the whole story. She tells Maxie about how Valentin was fine with shared custody, but Lulu isn’t thinking about Charlotte’s feelings, and has already traumatized her. She says Charlotte was in the process of grieving over Claudette, the only mother she’s known, and Lulu looks at her like a piece of property. Nina says only thinking about yourself is no way to raise a child.

Hayden tells Amy II that she and Michael were having a private conversation, and clueless Amy asks about what, making me laugh. Hayden says Michael is on the board now. Amy says she saw the board members come out from their meeting not looking happy, and tries to get information, but Hayden doesn’t budge.

Olivia-J tells Julian that as long as she gets what she wants, she doesn’t care whose blood has to spill, which is totally different from what she said last time. She tells Julian to get a move on. Curtis thinks they should follow him, but Jason says he thinks they’ve gotten all they can for today. Curtis says it sounds like the person responsible for the bomb is Julian’s sister.

Alexis wonders why Valentin waited to file a motion. Lulu says he suggested shared custody, but she refused because a man like that has no place in a child’s life. She tells Alexis that Charlotte hasn’t warmed up to her because she’s been too pushy and made mistakes. She’s had to accept that Charlotte loves Valentin, and she tried to approach him later about sharing custody, but he refused. She explains what happened when she revealed to Charlotte that she was her real mother.

Maxie says it’s possible Lulu mishandled things. Nina says Valentin is Charlotte’s father. He gives her stability, she adores him, and it’s what’s best for her. Maxie thinks compromise is the best solution. Nina says Valentin wanted to compromise, but Lulu messed it up, and now Charlotte wants nothing to do with her. Nina says she backs Valentin completely, and Maxie says she backs Lulu completely. Nina says they’ll have to agree to disagree, and not talk about anything regarding Charlotte. Maxie says she doesn’t know if that’s possible. Nina says they shouldn’t let their disagreement ruin anything at Crimson. Maxie says she’ll try. What’s up with Maxie’s hair? It looks flat with lowlights that look like roots that have grown out. It’s just awful.

Nina speaks with someone on the phone. She says Charlotte is coming to the office, because the nanny has a family emergency.

Elizabeth asks Amy what’s wrong, and she tells her to ask her sister Hayden. Hayden and Michael agree on paring down the hospital staff. Hayden says it’s better than no hospital at all.

Jason doesn’t think that anyone saw them, and says that something doesn’t add up. He can’t figure out why Ava would meet Julian secretly, and says it makes no sense. Curtis rattles off the info they have, and thinks it’s clear cut that it’s Ava. He wonders if they should continue trying to get evidence or tell Sonny.

Carly tells Sonny she would have stopped by to see him anyway. She says she’d be there every day, but Josslyn isn’t ready, and thanks him for understanding. He says once Jason finds out who’s calling the shots with Julian, he’ll be fine. They talk about the future.

Lulu tells Alexis that Valentin is going to tell the court that Charlotte is scared of her. Alexis says the court is going to hear the circumstances of her birth, and how there was a surrogate without Lulu’s knowledge. Lulu wonders if there’s a chance of getting full custody.

Nina brings Charlotte into the office. She tells Charlotte she can help pick out accessories for the magazine.

Hayden tells Elizabeth that she heard what happened, and asks how she is. Elizabeth says she would be better if she knew her job was safe. She asks if they’re cutting employees, and Hayden tells her they are. Elizabeth goes on about how they’re people not numbers on a balance sheet, and wonders how Hayden can sleep at night. She asks if she’s going to be fired too, and storms off. Really? How old is Elizabeth that she doesn’t understand that the hospital is in trouble and on the verge of closing if something isn’t done? It wasn’t that long ago when they actually did close, and she thought she was going to have to get a job elsewhere. I guess that fall down the stairs gave her some short-term memory loss.

Just as Carly and Sonny are headed upstairs, Jason arrives. Sonny asks if he has any information.

Hayden follows Elizabeth, telling her that her job is to get the hospital out of debt. Elizabeth reminds her that she threatened to fire her once. Hayden says that was before their relationship changed, and that the board ultimately decides what to do. Amy Part Two pops in, and adds fuel to the fire. Hayden says it might be the only way to save the hospital as a whole. Felix jumps in next, and she tells him that the hospital could close if they don’t save money. She doesn’t want anything to change either, but if they don’t do something, a building that once saved lives will be an empty shell waiting to be turned into condos.

Nina and Charlotte look at accessory pictures. A new advertiser calls, and insists on talking to Nina. While she talks on the phone, Maxie tries to make small talk with Charlotte. Nina tells Maxie that she needs to meet with the advertiser immediately or they’ll pull their ads. Maxie offers to watch Charlotte. Not sure why any advertiser would require a face-to-face meeting, and obviously Maxie watching Charlotte is going to turn out badly.

Michael comes to the bar and sees Nelle. She asks if he wants to join her for coffee, but he says he wouldn’t be the best company. She asks what’s wrong, and he tells her about the budget cuts, and that people are going to lose their jobs. He says the hospital is so far in the red, it might even be too late to save it. She asks why he thinks it’s up to him.

Alexis brings up how fast Valentin married Nina. Lulu says he only married her for show, and Alexis says the court might consider that. She tells them from now until the trial, they’re not to see Charlotte without Valentin’s permission. They have to look like they have Charlotte’s best interest at heart. Alexis has to leave and runs into Julian in the hallway.

Jason tells Sonny that they have some new leads, but nothing concrete. Carly figures they want privacy. Before she leaves, she makes them promise to tell her who it is that killed Morgan when they find out. Sonny asks Jason if the equipment worked, and Jason says not as well as they’d hoped. Sonny asks if they found out who’s responsible, and to tell him right now.

Julian tells Alexis he’s meeting someone. She says he looks tired, and asks if everything is all right. He says he just came from a trying meeting. She says she’s going to one now, but at least they have doughnuts. She says she doesn’t like doing things in groups, but she’s an alcoholic, and her sponsor encouraged her to go. Julian flashes back to Olivia-J. Alexis says that Olivia is keeping her on track without the catch phrases or new age stuff. Hmm… As I’ve already pointed out, Olivia uses a lot of catch phrases, and AA is hardly new age. Honestly, they need an AA adviser here.

Jason tells Sonny that it’s a woman, but he couldn’t see her face. Sonny asks if they got something from the mic. Jason explains about the music and how everything was muffled. Sonny asks if they found anything to identify her, and Jason says they’re close. Sonny has the feeling he’s leaving something out.

Michael tells Nelle that he’s been fortunate and wanted to give back. Nelle says she wishes she could help people, but has no disposable income. Michael says she nurtured the kids in her classes as a teacher, and she’s one of the most decent people he knows. He says she doesn’t need to have money to help the less fortunate. Carly comes out with flowers that were delivered for Nelle.

Julian says he hopes Alexis’s meeting is helpful. He sits down with Gray. Gray tells him that the hospital asked for an extension, and he had no choice but to go along with it. Julian was laid up, and he couldn’t discuss it with him. Julian says he needs the hospital sooner rather than later.

Hayden looks on the computer, hoping she missed something. She wonders what she could cut that won’t lose jobs.

Felix says they’re short-staffed already. He says first they call the union rep, and then the real work begins. They’re going to fight back. I’m not sure how you fight something that hasn’t even been established yet. He must be taking lessons from…oh, never mind.

Nina says she’ll be back in two hours tops, and if Charlotte needs anything, to call.

Dante tells Lulu that it’s going to be hard, but in the end, it will be worth it. He leaves, and Lulu gets a call from Maxie. Maxie tells her that it’s urgent she come to Crimson.

Julian tells Gray that the hospital is on its last legs. Gray says they’re implementing some cost cutting measures. Julian says do whatever he has to, just get it done. Gray says Julian isn’t going to be popular if the deal goes through. Julian says that’s the least of his problems. He calls Olivia-J and says its being worked on. She says her patience is wearing thin, but he tells her that he’ll make sure she gets what she wants.

Nelle excuses herself. Carly tells Michael the flowers must be from the mystery guy. He says not so mysterious anymore, and tells her about Josslyn looking at the card. Carly says he should have stopped her, but what did it say? Ha-ha! Michael says it was signed with the initial S. Oh yeah, mystery totally solved.

Sonny tells Jason that whatever he has, he’s ready to hear it. Jason says they know where the meetings are held, but nothing else is for sure. Jason sneaks out the back. Sonny calls Brick. He asks about the remote feed, and tells him to bring it over

Tomorrow, Sam thinks something is wrong with the baby, Curtis meets with Ava, and Brick brings the feed to Sonny (and I don’t mean take-out from The Floating Rib).

The Haves and the Have Nots

Veronica asks Erica what’s the matter, and if she doesn’t like the flowers. She introduces herself, and David tells Erica to put Veronica on the phone. He tells Veronica to walk away, and she says she doesn’t think so. She asks how much Erica is charging him, and asks Erica where she can find Erica’s pimp. David tells Veronica to leave her alone, but she says she won’t go quietly into that great night. David says if she needs to speak to him, fine, but leave Erica out of it. Veronica asks him how long it’s been going on. She realizes he’s not going to answer her questions, and hangs up. She walks into Erica’s room.

Erica tells Veronica to leave. Veronica asks how old she is. Erica says not as old as she is, and tells her to leave again. Veronica asks what her name is, and Erica calls hotel security. Veronica asks again who her pimp is, listing a few – because she knows everything and everybody – and asking if it’s one of them. She says she’ll find out, and Erica won’t have her husband. Erica says they’re divorced, and Veronica holds up her ring hand, showing Erica her massive wedding ring set. Erica tells her that’s what she heard, and Veronica says she heard wrong. Erica claims she saw the papers, since she does research on the men she sleeps with. David calls Erica, telling her to stay on the phone with him until security gets there, and that she doesn’t know who she’s dealing with. She says she can handle it, and hangs up.

Erica asks Veronica what she wants. Veronica says she wanted to get a look at her, and introduces herself again. She asks how long this has been going on, and Erica tells her to get the hell out. Veronica says Erica must be from Florida, and tells her that she should really wear sunscreen. Ouch! She says people from Florida know how to batten down the house when a hurricane comes. She tells Erica that a hurricane is coming, and her name is Veronica, and when this bitch hits, it destroys everything you’ve ever known. She says it’s unfortunate that Erica is pretty, since it’s easier for an unattractive woman to lose her looks. Security comes, and Veronica says she was just leaving.

Jeffrey asks how long he and Candace are going to sit at the hotel. She says she’s waiting, but she doesn’t know for what. He wonders what Veronica is doing, and Candace thinks she went to the house to challenge the warrant. Candace’s phone keeps ringing. It’s Benny, but she says she can’t face him right now. Jeffrey doesn’t want to know, and then asks what she did. She tells him about the mortgage. He says she’s just like his mom; she uses people to get what she needs. She says she didn’t use Benny, she did something good for him. She points out that Jeffrey is using Justin. Jeffrey says he never threatened Justin (um…he did), but she says you don’t need to threaten someone to use them. She says he’s fallen in love with Justin, and Justin likes him. She says she told him to get close, but not to fall in love. He says he didn’t, and she says good, because it only gets in the way. Jeffrey insists that he doesn’t love Justin. She says they like each other then. She tells Jeffrey that Justin could go to jail for what he’s doing. Candace’s phone rings again. Candace claims that Jeffrey wants to see her upset, and he says sociopaths don’t get upset. She tells him to go to hell.

Oscar comes over to the table. Candace tells him to get away from her. Oscar tells Jeffrey to get lost. Candace tells him don’t you dare, but he moves to another table. A guy comes in with an entourage, and Oscar says that’s his man; he’s favored for the presidential election. Oscar needs a way in, and Candace is the guy’s type. He shows her a picture of the mark’s late wife, and says he’ll get the sympathy vote. Candace yells at him to get away from her, attracting attention, and he goes back to the bar.

Jeffrey calls Justin. Justin says he’ll meet him at the hotel, and to get a room. Candace asks Jeffrey if he’s getting a room, and Jeffrey asks if she’s getting her phone. This time, it’s Erica. Erica tells her about Veronica. She’s at the same hotel, and Erica tells her to come up to the room. Erica calls David, and tells him it’s fine, and he can make it up to her by taking her out to dinner.

Candace arrives at Erica’s room. She wonders if Veronica is having Erica followed, and tells her Veronica is crazy and to watch out for her. Erica asks if Candace has heard from War, but she says no. Candace asks what happened with Veronica, and Erica says they only traded insults. Candace tells her about losing the house, and that the police took all of the money she had hidden. Erica asks her what’s going on.

Candace tells Erica about killing Quincy and burying him in the backyard. Erica says that’s crazy, and asks why Candace didn’t tell her. Candace says she thought about it, but the police have found the body, so who knows how long she’ll be free. Benny calls again. Erica says it could be important, so Candace answers. She tells Benny she’s sorry she didn’t come, and tells him she’s at the hotel. He says he’s coming there, and she says she’ll be in the lobby. Erica says he sounds mad. Candace says she’ll call Erica later. A little slow moving today, although some good character development.

Wyatt wakes up. Quita and guy-she’s-hanging-out-with are in his place. Wyatt is feeling sick, and says he needs something. Dude says he’s got something, and Wyatt begs. Quita looks around, and asks Wyatt how much money he’s got. He tells her she took everything, but she says he has more in the bank. She tells him they’re staying tonight, and tomorrow they’re going to the bank where he’s going to give them the rest. I don’t think they let you take millions out of the ATM though. She looks around for food, and gives dude Wyatt’s credit card. Wyatt is getting shaky and Quita says he’ll be throwing up soon. While Quita and dude are discussing nonsense, Wyatt gets his tablet. I’m wondering how Wyatt can be sick from withdrawal since he’s been in the hospital and hasn’t had anything for a while, but I guess he’s faking?

Benny finds Candace in the hotel lobby. He doesn’t want to hear it, and wants her to come with him. She says she went to the house to get the money, and the police took it. He starts getting loud. He asks why she didn’t just call him, and she says she didn’t want to disappoint him again. She apologizes, and he wonders how she can let those words come out of her mouth. She tells him that she loves him. He tells her that she’s coming to the hotel to stay with him and Hanna. He tells her that she’s responsible for Hanna’s house burning down, and he was kicked out of his while her son watched. Candace says she’s not going. He says he lost everything because of her. She refuses to go, and says she’s going to take care of herself. He asks where she’s staying, and she says at the hotel right there. He wonders with what money. He says she has nothing, and they’re looking for her car, since the bank owns it. He says that’s why Mitch is in jail, and tells her about Mitch trying to keep his truck. She says she’ll make up for everything, and he says she can’t this time. She tells him that she’s been on her own since she was 17, and it’s going to stay that way. He tells her War is out of jail and looking for her. He’s surprised War isn’t there. A security guy asks if everything is okay. Candace leaves with Benny.

Meanwhile, at the Cryer mansion, Kathryn asks why Jim is still there. He’s watching the news, where they’re talking about DA Jennifer’s disappearance. Kathryn says she wants Jim out. He says this is the FBI, and him being there is her best chance. He tells her that if he leaves her to her own devices, she might do something stupid, and she already created a mess that he had to clean up. She tells him he created the mess a long time ago. He tells her that she thinks every bad thing that’s happened is his fault. She says she doesn’t know why she let it go on for so long after their daughter’s death, and then Wyatt becoming a junkie. Jim tells her to calm down, but she says not until he’s gone. He says he’ll leave under one condition – she talks to Veronica and makes nice with her. Kathryn says she’s never talking to Veronica again. Jim says Veronica needs to think they’re all in this together and they’re on her side. Kathryn says she’ll have the bank foreclose on everything Veronica owns. Jim says if no one talks to Veronica, they’ll have no idea what her next move is, and only she can do this. He says Veronica is a wild card, and they need to control her and this. Kathryn needs to apologize. Kathryn continues to refuse, and Jim says he’ll do it then. She says go ahead, and then she wants him out.

Kathryn leaves the room. Jim sees the news coverage at Candace’s place, and Veronica walking past in the background, like Arklon in Beastmaster 2. Candace isn’t a suspect, but someone of special interest.

Quincy Jr. sees the same thing on the news, and calls Hanna’s attention to it. Hanna tells him to go listen to music. Candace’s picture is on TV, since the police are looking for her. The police are running her license plate number, as well as getting DNA from a bracelet found with Quincy. The cause of death is unknown.

Candace and Benny come in and see the news item about Jennifer. Hanna asks where Candace’s bracelet is.

Next time, David and Erica hook up, Jim tells Veronica not to talk to the cops, and Justin and Jeffrey meet again.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Mauricio is getting ready to leave, while Kyle tussles with her ponytail. Kyle is planning a trip with the other couples to Mexico for the grand opening of Mauricio’s new office. Kyle says she always has guilt when she leaves, whether it’s about the kids or her new show.

Schnooky! Harrison!! GIGGY!!! LisaV is packing for the trip when Eden drops by. Eden is amazed by Lisa’s closet, as we all are. Eden had contacted Lisa, saying she has something important to tell her. They go outside to have tea. Lisa hopes Eden understands her defensiveness when it comes to Kyle.

LisaR comes by Kyle’s store and they talk about Mauricio’s Malibu listing. Lisa likes being supportive of Kyle’s boutique because she loves shopping. She says she and Kim had a nice talk the night before. Kyle hopes it rubs off on Eden.

LisaV asks why Eden is involving herself so much in Kyle and Kim’s business. Eden says she believes Kim is sober, and Lisa wonders why she didn’t tell Kyle that, and where her doubts are coming from. Eden tells her that LisaR thinks Kim isn’t completely sober, and thinks Kyle is an enabler. She tells LisaV that LisaR told her Kim is on the path to destruction, adding that LisaR disappeared the second Eden started talking to Kyle. LisaV says it’s a similar experience to the one she had. In her interview, she wonders if LisaR will end up blaming her for starting something. She asks Eden if it’s okay for her to tell Kyle, since she thinks Kyle has the wrong impression

LisaR tells Kyle that Eden sees her sister and herself in Kyle and Kim, and she didn’t get a chance to fix that. Lisa says she has no idea what Eden really knows, but she’s coming from a good place. Kyle says she’s going to be in a bad place if she doesn’t knock it off.

Dorit and PK meet for lunch. She has the kids with her, and asks Jagger what he’d like for lunch. Like most two years olds, and myself, he says, ice cream. In her interview, she talks about his speech therapy and how they’re making progress. She’s not looking forward to leaving the kids for the trip.

LisaR has to make a trip to NYC before going to Mexico. She and housekeeper Lorena talk about Delilah’s new fashion career. Lisa, Harry, and Amelia are going to watch her in the Tommy Hilfiger show, and then she’s on to Mexico.

Everyone gathers at the airport. Dorit thinks the trip will be daunting,and is glad PK is coming along.

Fastest. Flight. Ever. Erika wants a margarita immediately after getting off the plane. In the limo, the who-owns-pink discussion is brought up. Dorit asks if there’s any decent shopping, and Erika says she’d rather have a burrito.

They get to the rental estate, which is, of course, awesome. In her interview, Kyle asks if it gets any better than this. I answer yes, if all that was in my backyard. She’s glad to have the getaway with Mauricio. Yeah, and how many other people? Mauricio shows everyone their rooms. Erika and Kyle talk about how precious time with the family is when you’re super busy.

In NYC, LisaR shows Delilah a picture of her walking a runway on Harry’s shoulders when she was little, and says it was meant to be. Delilah is very excited that she’ll be doing a show with Gigi Hadid. She practices her walk, and Lisa gives her some tips. Lisa says her own modeling experience was reject modeling, but in her mind she’s a supermodel. She’s also friends with Cindy Crawford, which counts for something.

Instead of Mexico, Eileen goes to therapy. She discusses grieving. In her interview, she says it’s good to have someone objective to talk to who gives you permission to have feelings. Eileen says the family is uncomfortable with her sadness, especially her son Jesse. The therapist asks if she tolerates being sad well, and she says she doesn’t like going to that place. The therapist thinks if she works on being okay with it, it might rub off on the others. Eileen says she thinks not going there keeps her from being present. In her interview, she says it’s a work in progress, and you can’t control how other people see you. That’ a really good point, and I’ll bet it’s a problem many people have.

The ladies go on a trip to the beach. Erika says, God forbid she’s trapped in the mansion all day. LisaV stays on shore, while the others use the Jet Skis. Kyle is super careful, and Dorit pretends to fall asleep. Erika takes a spill, but it’s all good. She was smart not to be wearing her sunglasses. I lost a pair of mine in the ocean.

Camille meets LisaR in NYC. Camille daughter is in a fashion show as well. In her interview, Camille explains how her daughter got the gig. Lisa tells her that Delilah will be doing her walk on the pier. Camille talks about the difficulty she’s had with Kelsey regarding communication about the kids. Lisa says she’s learning the same thing, that she can’t fix anybody else. Somehow this leads to her not wanting to be involved in anyone’s stuff, but going to Mexico anyway. We flash back to one of her altercations with Kim. Camille thinks she should step away from the situation with Eden. Lisa tells Camille that she told Eden that she shouldn’t try to fix everything.

A hermit crab! The gardens at the Mexican estate are gorgeous. Kyle and LisaV take a walk. Lisa tells Kyle about talking to Eden. She tells Kyle about how LisaR doesn’t think Kim is truly sober and she’s near death. Kyle is like, whaaat? We flash back to LisaR’s previous involvement. In her interview, Kyle says that LisaR apologized and had promised not to talk about Kim anymore, and now they’re back where they were. She tells LisaV that she’s the opposite of an enabler. She says just because she doesn’t give out personal details, LisaR is making them up, and no wonder Eden is concerned. Kyle says she spoke to LisaR about Eden inserting herself, and Lisa acted like she didn’t know why. She says just because Kim doesn’t want to be friends with LisaR, it’s no reason to fabricate things about her.

The group gathers for dinner. Mauricio swears he caught the tuna that they’re going to serve. Erika says she loves to fish, and PK says he caught a marlin once. He amends it to watching someone else catch one. I wouldn’t go near one of those. They are mean and I swear carry a vendetta. Kyle asks if Mauricio caught a bull too, and Dorit asks if he grew some vegetables. Kyle says he’s no Harry Hamlin, and talks about how he wanted to hire a handyman when they were broke. #WhatDidHarryDo

Dinner is served. PK says not only did Mauricio catch the biggest tuna, but also the tastiest one. Kyle tells everyone that LisaR is coming tomorrow, and relays what LisaV told her. LisaV says Eden was told that Kim was on the verge of death and that Kyle is an enabler. Dorit says Eden had strong feelings about Kim, and she had wondered why, since she doesn’t really know Kim. Erika wonders why LisaR would start a problem like that. Kyle says possibly because she’s not too smart. Dorit tells them about having smoothies at Eden’s house and how LisaR talked about putting in a Xanax, and pulled out a bag of pills. She adds that Eden said she takes things for anxiety. Erika says Kyle should give LisaR the benefit of the doubt, but Kyle isn’t quite on board with that. Erika feels skeptical, since she doesn’t have all the facts.

Kyle wants to have fun, but says this is really weighing on her. She doesn’t know how to look at LisaR and pretend. She says she can’t ignore her either.

LisaR arrives while everyone is in the pool, eating off of floating tables. It’s obvious that Kyle has something to say.

Next time, Mariachi bands, yachts, sliding down a bannister, a cow, and Kyle confronts LisaR.

😭 ✈ I’m sad to see Ladies of London go. Caroline #1 was a bit of a disappointment. I don’t mind her being emotionless, but she was really unfair to several of the women. I wonder if her move to Dubai has anything to do with it. The problem with being so stoic all the time, is that it has to come out somewhere. Although outwardly, her main concern seems to be not having her makeup guy anymore. I will miss her though, and I’m actually hoping we get to see her in her new surroundings next season. Or perhaps a spin-off show. I wouldn’t mind exploring places in Dubai other than the mall. We did get a glimpse of her new place, which no surprise, is just as amazing as the old one.

Caroline #2’s first English cookbook is going to be published, and she continues to act like the fairy princess I know she is underneath her mortal disguise. Julie’s daughter is off to college, and there were a lot of tears. But she has Mapperton as a consolation prize, so she should buck up. Juliet is now up to 100,000 followers on Instagram, which she feels validates her as a blogger. I’m pretty sure the show didn’t hurt any. There’s huge irony in what she wore to Caroline #1’s going away dinner. It looked like something Edina from Absolutely Fabulous would wear. Maybe it’s Lacroix. Joan Collins Sophie and her ex finally told the kids they’re getting a divorce. It looks like she and Caroline #1 have mended fences, but not so much her and Adela, although they hugged it out. There wasn’t much Marissa, but she’s looking forward to the family going back to America and eating avocados. I guess they don’t have those across the pond.

The best part? Adela calling Juliet a hideous dwarf in polyester. I don’t know if that outfit is polyester, but apparently Adela has the same opinion of it that I do. And since Juliet basically spoiled the dinner with her nasty comments, she deserves the label.

At the end, Caroline #1 bid us good-by, but said that you never know when the bitch is going to be back.

Feb7

February 6, 2017 – Hayden Tries to Save GH & Fences are (Kinda) Mended in LA

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Elizabeth and Franco bask In the afterglow. He wonders if it’s a dream. She says if it is, she doesn’t want to wake up. Very original.

Finn looks at his prescription pills.

Hayden tells Michael that he’s the progressive CEO she needs to help GH through the transition. Brad overhears, probably on purpose, and asks if GH has been sold.

Lucas tells Carly that Finn just came up with a cure for Blackwood’s Syndrome. Finn brushes off her accolades, and asks about Sonny. She wonders why he’s asking, and we flash back to Sonny helping him get his medication. Finn says that Sonny must be getting cabin fever being all cooped up, and maybe he should visit.

Nelle listens to the tape of Sonny while she looks at the rattle, which is apparently what she does on her off time. There’s a knock at the door. It’s Felicia. She says she there to do over Nelle’s bedroom with DIY magic.

Sam is leaving for the safe house. Jason has come to Sonny’s to say good-by. He tells her that it should be over soon. He says Curtis has been following Julian, and it’s only a matter of time.

Julian goes to the Chinese restaurant pawn shop whatever it is now. Curtis wonders why.  He sees Julian closing the blinds. Olivia-J says that Julian is in a foul mood. She’s also concerned that he might have been followed. He asks if she’s playing a head game with him by being Alexis’s sponsor, and what the hell she wants.

Curtis puts the headphones on, but Oliva-J puts Chinese music on, drowning out what they’re saying. She tells Julian that he wanted her dead. He says he can’t change the past, and she says that she lost everything; he took away everything she had to live for. Outside, Curtis is annoyed that he can’t hear. Olivia says she had to hide for years from everyone she cared about. Julian asks her to name one. She ignores the question, and says she even has a sister she didn’t know about. He says she’s stalking Alexis, so she can’t be too worried. He says instead of threatening the family, she could be a part of it. He tells her that he’s had a chance to start over and she can too. She says it sounds lovely, but until he does what she says. it stays as it is. He asks why GH is so important to her

Hayden tells Brad she can’t give him confidential information. He says after being sick, she only has a few weeks to save a sinking ship. He tells her that she might as well throw everything overboard, and leaves. Hayden tells Michael if they can reduce one thing, they can reduce the deficit. He asks what the catch is.

Felicia talks to Nelle about what kind of decorating style she’d like. She tells Nelle that it’s a personal thing, so just talk about herself. I’m surprised Nelle is falling for this. The enemy of your enemy is not always your friend.

Sonny tells Sam that they both have to be on the sidelines. Sam say she’s not going.

Elizabeth has to get to work. Franco suggests she call in, saying he doesn’t want to leave the bed. He says he’s a little worried about what will happen to them outside the room. He’s afraid he’s going to screw things up. He tells her that he’s a tortured artist; being scared and needy comes with the territory. She says she doesn’t think that’s restricted to artists, and that everyone will have to accept that he’s in her life. She thinks they’re strong enough to work through it.

Felicia asks Nelle where she’s from. Nelle tells her Atlanta, but she’s not sure she wants to be reminded of it when she gets up in the morning. Felicia says, fresh start then. She wonders if Nelle’s boyfriend will be spending time there too.

Sonny tells Sam that if Jason is worried, he’ll be distracted. Sam says her father will know something is off, and the plan doesn’t make any sense. She says she and Danny aren’t the only ones in his family, but Jason says they’re all he cares about right now; he’ll worry about the rest later. Jason’s phone rings. Curtis tells him to get there now.

Finn tells Carly that Sonny has been good to him. Carly says that Sonny is busy with the trial coming up, but she’ll tell him that Finn asked about him. Carly sees Hayden and starts talking smack about her. Lucas tries to get her to shut up. She says Hayden is the last person GH needs handling the money. Hayden approaches them, and Finn says he assumes they know one another.

Sonny tries to convince Sam to go, but she thinks it will be a red flag. She says Jason wants to protect everyone, and just because she’s pregnant, that doesn’t mean she can’t take care of herself. She says if the boss lady figures it out, she might go after Jason, and she can’t have that.

Jason joins Curtis. He listens to the Chinese music. Curtis says he texted Brick, and specific noises can’t be isolated. He figures Julian and the boss lady are being extra cautious. He asks Jason what next. Jason says relax and wait.

Julian wants to turn the music down, but Olivia tells him not to. He asks why she wants to tear down GH and put up condos, since real estate was never her thing. She says it’ s a great investment and will provide her with a place to live, adding it beats the hell out of this dump. He says if the deal goes through. He tells her that the majority of the board members refuse to sell. Olivia tells Julian to pay them off or get them on board any way he can. He asks if he should just buy up the waterfront, but she says it has to be GH. Julian asks why.

The light bulb comes on over Carly’s head about Finn and Hayden. Finn says thanks to Amy 2.0, word got out at the hospital. Bobbie says it must be something about that name. Ha-ha! Nice nod to Amy the original. Finn tells Hayden, see you later. Michael tells Carly that Hayden got him a seat on the board, and they might be able to save the hospital. Carly says that’s great news. She doesn’t think she can forgive Hayden for what she did to Jason, but it would be great if she saves the hospital. She tells them not to mistake her for being warm and fuzzy though.

Nelle tells Felicia that he’s not exactly a boyfriend, and she doesn’t think he’ll be spending the night any time soon. Felicia asks for a glass of water, and looks around while Nelle goes into the kitchen. She finds small shopping bag with a bra in it. She looks at the tags and puts it back. Nelle asks what she’s doing.

One of Elizabeth’s kids busts in (I don’t know which one – not Jake), and she says she’ll be down in a minute. He asks Franco if he’s hurt. Franco says he is, and mom was nice enough to patch him up. The kid asks if they’re boyfriend/girlfriend. Elizabeth says they are, and asks how he feels about it. In typical kid fashion, he asks if they can have waffles for breakfast.

Curtis tells Jason that they’re going to blow their opportunity if they just sit there. Jason tells him to sit tight and she’s going to surface. Curtis says that even as a cop, he had a hard time with the waiting game. He says Jason has a talent for compartmentalizing. Jason wonders if something else is on Curtis’s mind.

Sonny tells Sam that they’ve both been through a lot and came out fine. He talks about how Jason has helped him. He says it comes down to them being family, and he owes her for that. They hug.

Hayden tells Carly that she’ll do everything she can to help GH; message received. She asks Michael if he wants to get going, but Carly reminds him that he was supposed to go over paperwork for Morgan’s foundation. She tells him go ahead though, and that GH is more important.

Felicia acts like she was coming up with decorating ideas. Carly calls Nelle, asking for help with the foundation. She asks Nelle to meet her at Sonny’s. Felicia says she’ll leave the stuff, and they can go over it next time. She says she can see herself out, because the door is only two feet away. When she’s gone, Nelle looks at the shopping bag and takes the bra out

Finn chews some pills. Brad asks if he’s feeling better. He asks what Brad wants. Brad says, security and peace of mind. He says he might be out of a job soon, so make sure they’re on the same page – he gets some credit for the cure. Finn says whatever he thinks he knows, he’s wrong. Brad says he knows he wants to be compensated, so pay up or shut up. Lucas is standing behind him.

Curtis tells Jason that he can’t stand to see bad guys get away with stuff, and whoever planted the bomb is really bad. He says it’s also about the cop in him – the man he used to be, and the man he wanted to be. He lost that man a long time ago and wants to get him back, but his mistakes still haunt him. Jason says he thinks that Curtis is worried about one person in particular. Curtis says the truth will set you free, and if they find it, he might be able to prove he’s that man.

Olivia-J says she has fond memories of GH. Julian says the whole town holds painful memories for her, and he can’t fathom why she’s even back. She says all he needs to know is what happens if he’s not successful. She brings up GH’s security cameras on her laptop. She says it makes it easier to see Julian’s son and his husband.

Lucas asks Brad what they were talking about. Brad says nothing. Lucas says funny, it sounded like Brad was blackmailing Finn.

Bobbie asks Felicia how it went. Felicia thinks Nelle is less than truthful about her boyfriend, because she’s not the best detective.

Carly brings Nelle with her to Sonny’s. She tells Nelle to get something from the bedroom. She asks if Nelle knows where it is, and Nelle says she’s sure she can find her way.

Olivia-J talks about Lucas and Brad’s wedding. Julian asks why she’s watching them, and she says why do you think? That was a really stupid question. Julian is even more dense than usual today. She tells him that his son, Leo, is doing fine too, and asks if he wants her to send someone there again. He says he’ll get her GH, but lay off his family.

The music stops. Curtis and Jason hear Julian say, no more threats, and that he’s tired of living in fear of his sister. Jason tries to get a picture.

Brad makes it sound like he was just standing up for himself and overreacted. Lucas says there was a tone in his voice like how he used to be. He says Brad had changed, and he wants to be able to depend on him. Brad says he’ll always take care of Lucas and their relationship. Lucas says sorry for doubting him. Love must be blind.

Finn takes some more pills.

Hayden asks Michael what he thinks, and asks if there’s another solution. Michael says her figures are good. He agrees that the only way to stay open is making personnel cuts across the board, including the nurses.

Felicia tells Bobbie that she found a bra with a price tag in the hundreds of dollars. They think Nelle’s boyfriend must have money. These two are like Lucy and Ethel being detectives.

Sonny thinks they should ask Diane to take care of the foundation business, but Carly says she’s taking care of the trial. She says the only thing she wants more than the foundation starting is Diane getting him off the hook. She’s sure it can be handled with Nelle’s help. Upstairs, Nelle plants the fancy bra in the bed. Hope she took the tags off. My pickiness is also rearing its head. I think most women would be able to tell if a bra is brand new and has never been worn.

Tomorrow, Maxie confronts Nina, Curtis wants to talk to Sonny, and Nelle wishes she could pay Carly back.

Vanderpump Rules

Ugh! James! In showing bits from last week, we see how he licked his hand and wiped it on GG’s face – after he said he’d never sleep with someone so disgusting. Raquel deserves what she gets. If someone I was dating did that, I’d leave with the other girl.

Katie and Tom get RSVPs, but Katie forgot to put in the line where the name is indicated, so many of them will be a surprise. There is one that has a small sketch of a penis in reply, so they figure that it’s Jax or Tom. Kristen drops by, and Katie tells her about Scheana sending her some angry texts, and says she seems to be distancing herself. In her interview, Katie thinks both Scheana and Ariana need to get it together before the trip. She’s hoping Ariana will find it in her heart to apologize to Stassi. Good luck with that. I don’t think “I’m sorry” is in her vocabulary.

In her interview, Ariana says that for thirty years she’s despised models (how old is she? did she despise them right out of the womb?), so it’s hard to reconcile dating one. Jax talks about the kerfuffle with James, saying James started it, but Ariana says that’s not true. Lisa comes in, and Ariana tells her about the James chaos. In her interview, Lisa says she wanted James to rebuild himself, and Jax and Scheana aren’t helping. Scheana admits that what they did was mean and wrong. Jax says, of course it is, but he’s going to do it anyway because he hates James. Alrighty then.

Tom has been talking to a top agency in LA. Apparently, Jessica Simpson’s father is a photographer, and Tom is having him take some shots. While Tom’s makeup is being done, Schwartz tells him about the issues Katie has with Ariana. Schwartz says he has to be Team Katie for the next month, and Tom says he’ll talk to Ariana. In his interview, Tom talks about how some people think a part of their soul is being taken away when they’re photographed, but he thinks it gives his soul life. I’m sorry.

James meets Raquel for dinner. She tells him that GG called her an idiot for thinking James will be faithful. She wants to know how GG had the opportunity to get his clothes. He makes up something totally unbelievable. He claims he had a lot to drink and wasn’t cognizant of everything, but insists he didn’t have sex with anyone else. We see the Polaroid of him in bed with another girl . She says she doesn’t know if he can stay loyal while she’s away, and he says she just has to trust him. Seriously, she can do better than this.

Jax and Brittany go to church. And I’m not talking about a dance step. Brittany thinks it’s a small change he can make for her, but I’m guessing he won’t look at it as small. He talks about having the same part in the church Christmas play every year when he was a kid, because he couldn’t memorize lines. His had one line, “I bring you frankincense,” and I’m surprised he wasn’t playing a donkey or a sheep. The pastor hits home with his message about anger, although considering how much Jax is lacking, it’s probably not hard to hit home with most topics. He’s hoping this gets Brittany and her mother back on Team Jax. I have news for him. I think they’re going to want him to go more than once. By no stretch of the imagination do I not want Jax to come to Jesus, but if it happens, Jesus will be coming for me right then because I’ll have a heart attack.

Stassi makes dinner for her mom, who just had a hysterectomy. Toast and raw cookie dough. I’m not so sure the doctor would think that’s the best thing to feed her. Katie joins them. Stassi’s little brother had gotten close to Patrick, and points out that Stassi has her friends to rally around her, but Patrick has no one and he wants to talk to him. Stassi explains that she still loves Patrick, but doesn’t want to go another round. She says she needs to be alone for a while; she feels like she’s losing it and needs him to be supportive. Nicolai puts his arm around her, tells her life is tough, especially in your 20s, and that he loves her. Supportive he is. And very kind and wise for one so young. With a brother like Nicholai, Stassi can’t be all bad.

Tom and James go to a coffee bar. Tom talks about a short Peter is producing that he’s playing a small part in. He brings up the dissension of the other night. James says he should be flattered that the girls went out of their way to proclaim he slept with them. Tom suggests he concentrate on his new gig.

Peter says his film is like Star Wars meets Avatar, and thinks it’s going to be fantastic. If he says so. Tom gets suited up in some fake armor. He stands in front of a green screen and does his lines. After about 20,000 takes, he nails it. The finished product actually doesn’t look bad. He talks to Ariana about his conversation with Schwartz. Ariana says no one is getting an apology from her, and Tom suggests she not be so blunt. She says she’s not a sugar-coater, but I think there’s a difference between that, and being downright nasty.

Harrison! Scheana comes to Lisa’s house with Pandora, who is looking for some sangria, since she’s having a party for Katie. Lisa hopes no one screws it up. Scheana says Katie’s attitude has been horrible, and she’s getting mad about every little thing. Scheana claims that she was a very calm bride, but the flashbacks tells us differently. In her interview, Scheana thinks Katie is taking it to the extreme. Lisa tells her that these will be big memories for Katie, and if there’s a problem and she’s in the middle of it, she’ll be held responsible. In her interview, Lisa thinks Stassi has created a different dynamic between the girls, and is behind everything bad in the world.

Schwartz meets the groomsmen for drinks. They talk about going full drag on the streets when they go to NOLA. What does that mean for Ariana? Jax talks about what he’s going to wear. In his interview, he says he doesn’t mind going all the way, but he’s not shaving his beard, so he’s going to be one ugly woman. Schwartz says that he thinks Ariana was harsh with Stassi, it escalated, and the girls think maybe she doesn’t really want to be involved. She says she won’t apologize, but she’ll try to make it copacetic. They toast to the best bachelor party ever.

The girls arrive at Pandora’s house. The party is outside, and no surprise, it’s a gorgeous space. We take a house tour, and I want to move in immediately. Stassi says she knows now that she chose the wrong parents. You and me both, sista.

Jax comes to Lisa’s office. He’s there to pick up his tips, but he also asks Lisa if she has any clothing they can borrow for their drag show. He wonders if she has any old costume jewelry, and she asks if she looks like someone who would, but says they can borrow a few things.

At Pandora’s, a woman comes in to do hand massages peels. Is this a party thing now? Scheana thinks Ariana should apologize to Stassi, but Stassi says she doesn’t want an apology that’s insincere. Ariana claims that what she said didn’t come out of nowhere. Stassi says she feels like Ariana didn’t have to take things as far as she did, and that even if she doesn’t want to be friends, she doesn’t have to make her feel badly when they’re all together. Ariana says she’ll try to have a more open mind. In her interview, Stassi says she thinks they’ll be fine, which is good enough for her.

During lunch, the girls talk about apologies and being sincere. Katie feels like it’s the decent thing to do if someone’s feelings are hurt. She says these are once-in-a-lifetime events for her, and they’ve chosen the people they want to be involved with the wedding, so it should be an amazing time and not negative. In her interview, Scheana takes this as her getting Ariana to sort-of apologize wasn’t enough. Katie says she hasn’t been there for a lot of the bridesmaids’ stuff, but some things have made her feel uncomfortable, referring to Scheana’s complaints to her. Scheana says she’s sorry for involving her where she shouldn’t have. She says that Katie drunk texts her nasty things, and that she’s a different person when she drinks. Stassi says everyone changes when they drink, but Scheana says it doesn’t change the way she deals with her friends, and that Katie is a mean drunk. Katie says Scheana acts fake a lot of the time. Scheana gets upset, wonders why anyone is friends with her, apologizes loudly, and leaves the table after throwing her napkin down. Katie says that she’s a nice person, unless you screw with her, and that the wedding has been tainted by a-holeness. Scheana comes back and says she’ll apologize again, but she’s leaving. The girls talk her into staying, because we’re at a sixth grade sleepover, and in her interview, Katie says that as a friend, she should be able to voice her feelings. She tells Scheana that she loves her, but she has to be honest. They hug it out.

Tom, Jax and Ariana go to Villa Rosa to check out Lisa’s closet. As you can imagine, it’s quite a closet. Jax tries on an outfit, and Lisa doesn’t think it’s the first time he’s tried on a dress. He thinks he might have it on backward, so I’m not positive about that. In his interview, Jax says he has a new respect for what women have to go through. Lisa says this is the kind of thing blackmails are made of.

Katie and Schwartz go out for dinner. She wonders why he’s wearing his wedding ring already. She makes him promise not to take it off around hot chicks. He talks about Ariana, and claims they don’t know the whole story. Katie says she was there, he wasn’t, and she’s surprised that he’s defending Ariana. She doesn’t want a shadow cast on her day, and says for the last six years, she’s been her own support system. She didn’t ask Ariana to be a bridesmaid for a reason. She thinks Ariana is stuck up and elitist, but Schwartz says it’s called being emotionally mature. IMO, Ariana wants to act like she’s mature, but comes off as stuck up and elitist. Or maybe she’s using maturity as an excuse to be stuck up and elitist. Katie tells him to knock it off, and he says he should know better than to disagree with her opinion. She gets up and walks out, leaving her food and Schwartz to deal with the check.

Next time, Katie says she has limits, James thanks Lisa for an opportunity, and the gang goes to NOLA.

Feb1

January 31, 2017 – Tom’s Murder is a Wrap, Candace Beats a Rap, More Partying in Beverly Hills & a Little London

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Jason wants to leave the hospital, but Sam says that’s not okay, and asks why he didn’t tell her he was in the hospital.

Sonny tells Ava that she brought Avery home late. She says she was just about to thank him for letting her tuck Avery in. He says there are other ways to show gratitude, like answering some questions.

Valentin and Nina are hanging out at a gazebo. He tells Nina it’s good to get away from everything, and she asks if that includes Anna.

Laura and Lulu visit Anna, whose house we don’t see enough of. They want to talk to her about Valentin.

Forensics supports Alexis’s statement. Dante tells her she’s free to go. When he leaves, Diane tells her to take a deep breath, and she can go to the bar review with a clear conscience.

Julian comes to the station because Dante wants to talk to him.

Franco remembers where he’s seen the trophies, and says Elizabeth is in trouble. A nurse comes in, and he says he has to talk to the police now.

Seth won’t let Elizabeth leave. He doesn’t want her showing the scrapbook to the police until she knows the truth. Is this dude a new character or is he disposable? I want to know before I invest anything.

Valentin says he didn’t tell Nina that the picture he lost was of Anna. He wanted to leave the past in the past. He explains that they were cadets at the WSB together. Nina asks if he was a spy.

Anna tells Lulu and Laura that she’s given all of the information she has to the police. Laura says she thought the investigation was ongoing, and Lulu asks if she’s found anything new that can help her get custody of Charlotte.

Sam tells Jason that he has lousy judgment when it comes to his own health, and she’ll make those decisions. He tells her that Julian drugged him.

Julian tells Dante that if Franco was kidnapped, he wasn’t involved. Dante laughs, and says he had nothing to do with the deaths of Duke and Carrrlos, and didn’t hold a knife to Alexis’s throat either .

Franco asks the nurse to get Nathan. He says it’s about a case and it’s important. When she leaves, he struggles to extract himself from all the IVs. An intern comes in telling him he needs an MRI. He asks if that means they take the IVs out.

Seth tells Elizabeth that his name is going to be dragged through the mud like Tom’s, and what about his mother? She says he’s not responsible for Tom’s crimes, and there might be something in the book that could be a clue. Seth says he’d believed Tom had cleaned up his act, but he was as sick as ever. When he saw Tom attacking a woman, he knew Tom was never going to stop. Elizabeth is like, whaaat?

Sonny asks Ava how business is with the Jerome organization. She says she’s now a legit art dealer. He says she still hears things, and someone is coming after the Jeromes. She says she thought it was him. She tells Sonny that if someone is putting pressure on the Jerome organization, she doesn’t know who it is.

Jason explains to Sam that Julian wanted him incapacitated for a few hours, and tells her what happened. He says Julian seems genuinely afraid, not just for himself, but for her and Danny.

Julian sees Alexis. Diane says her client has nothing to say. He asks if she confessed, and Diane asks why he cares.

Laura wonders if there’s anything they can use against Valentin in court. Lulu says it doesn’t necessarily have to be something illegal, just something to show he’s an unfit parent. Anna says she has nothing that would have any bearing on the case. She found out that they knew each other years ago.

Valentin tells Nina sorry to disappoint her, but he wasn’t a spy; he was a desk agent. He says they didn’t think he’d be that effective in the field. She says he’s the most capable man she’s ever known, and he says he was different back then.

Seth tells Elizabeth that the woman was almost too drunk to stand, and Tom had a knife. Elizabeth says Seth defended her, but he says she got the knife, dropped it, and ran. He tells Elizabeth that he saw Tom clearly for the first time, as a predator who would keep hunting until he was stopped. He picked up the knife and stabbed Tom until he was dead. Elizabeth says that he was defending all the women Tom ever attacked or would have, and can’t be blamed. He doesn’t deserve to be prosecuted. Seth says he will be, for what he did to Franco.

The intern parks Franco’s wheelchair by the elevator and goes to do an intern thing. Franco gets up and walks out. The nurse tells Nathan that Franco needs to speak with him. The intern is looking for his patient, and when Nathan asks who the patient is, he says Franco.

Valentin tells Nina about having severe scoliosis when he was younger. She says she knew a girl at school who had it and wore a brace. He says he went untreated and became a hunchback. Richard III (he heard me!), Igor, Quasimodo, and him.

Anna tells Laura and Lulu that Valentin was going under another name, but it could have been a legal name change, which wouldn’t help a custody case. Laura asks when she realized she knew him. Anna says there was something in his eyes, but he looked very different back then.

Jason tells Sam that he wants her and Danny to go to a safe house. She thinks that’s extreme, and he says there’s a woman out there who blew up car and nearly killed him and Curtis. Sam wants to stick around until the baby is born, but Jason says they’re vulnerable if they stay in Port Charles. She asks if he’d come too, and he says he has to finish it. He wants Sonny exonerated and them to be safe. Sam says the boss lady could be watching him. Jason suggests making her think he’s given up.

Diane tells Julian that there’s nothing to confess, and tells Alexis not to let this weasel distract her. Alexis wants to talk to Julian for a moment and Diane goes ahead. Alexis tells Julian that she recounted the whole story and realized she never did it. She dropped the knife and ran. Julian says he’s relieved, and asks if she is. She says she’s going to tell Dante everything.

Elizabeth asks Seth what he did to Franco. Seth says this isn’t who he is. Aarrgh! I hate when people say that. It is you; you’re the one who did it. He tells Elizabeth that he’s sorry. He beat Franco senseless and left him in a storage locker, letting the police believe he was the killer. He says his life is over, and Tom destroyed him like he did Elizabeth. Elizabeth says that Tom hurt her, but she survived. She says she has a life for herself and three beautiful sons who need her. She says that Seth doesn’t have to be damaged by Tom, just let her call the police.

Too late. Franco comes in swinging. Elizabeth tells Franco to stop, saying that Seth isn’t even fighting back. Franco asks what Seth was going to do. Seth says he doesn’t know, but he’s not like Tom; he doesn’t get off on hurting women. He confesses that he killed his brother, but can’t say for certain whether he would have come back for Franco. Franco puts his hands around Seth’s neck, and Seth tells Franco to kill him because he deserves it.

Dante gets the hospital records regarding Tom’s employment. Nathan finds Seth’s address, and Dante says they should check it out.

Sonny asks Ava about internal politics, and if anyone died unexpectedly, giving someone else a promotion. Ava can only come up with peons, and says that she and Julian are the last of their generation. All their siblings are dead.

Alexis tells Julian she’s going to confess to the hit and run, but Julian says he’ll claim he remembers who hit him and say it wasn’t her. She asks if he’s still looking for leverage. He says she deserves to be a lawyer again, but she’s not so sure she’s ready.

Jason tells Sam that they have to make sure everyone is in the right place at the right time. Felix comes by (good to see him!) and Sam asks when her dad has physical therapy. Felix says confidentiality rules dictate that he can’t tell her, but gives her details as to where the schedule is.

Laura asks what Anna remembers, but Anna says it was a relatively brief acquaintance. They wonder what happened that Valentin left the WSB. Anna says he was a decent guy back then. Their courses overlapped and they would help each other. She’d regarded him as a friend.

Nina tells Valentin not to call himself a hunchback. He says why, because it’s not politically correct? and I laugh. He explains what he looked like, and tells Nina about how the disease affected his entire body, causing his arm to contract as well. He says there was pity, revulsion, and bullying, but it fueled his anger, and he learned to resolve conflicts with strategy. He went to the library to get away from everyone looking at him, but never really seeing him. He tells Nina that the disease would have eventually affected his heart, but then there was Anna, who changed everything.

Nina asks if Anna encouraged him to get treatment. He says it’s more than just treatment, it’s a painful, dangerous surgery. He tells Nina that Anna inspired him. They helped each other with their schoolwork and they were friends, but when he tried to kiss her, she was disgusted. She didn’t say it in those words, but he knew. Nina says she’s glad he got the surgeries, because it made him tall and strong, and he deserves to be those things. She says she’s known beautiful, gorgeous people who are hideous inside, including Anna, because she can’t see him the way Nina does. Valentin looks for pity and disgust in her eyes, but she says he’ll never find them; he’ll only find how much he means to her. Tears roll down his face as he thanks her, and she thanks him for telling her. They kiss. He suggests they go home, but she says there’s an errand she has to run first.

Anna tells Lulu and Laura that there was a goodness in Valentin when she knew him at the academy, and she sees it when he interacts with Charlotte. She wonders if Lulu can meet him halfway, but Lulu balks at shared custody. Laura says it will give her bonding time while they build their case. Lulu suddenly remembers something she has to do. She thanks Anna, and practically runs out the door.

Laura tells Anna that she has the feeling there’s something Anna isn’t telling her about her time with Valentin. Anna says Valentin is obsessed with something he wants her to pay for, but she doesn’t know what it is. Laura says he’s evil and dangerous, and if he hurts Lulu, she’ll kill him. Now tell us how you really feel.

Alexis tells Julian that she’s been preparing for months, and knows what to say to get her license back, but she doesn’t know how to not stop at a liquor store on the way home. Julian says he supports her, and not because he wants back in her life, but he cares about her, if only as her friend. Diane comes back in and tells Alexis, let’s go.

Sam comes back to Jason’s room. She says Julian has an appointment in a half hour. Jason takes out his phone.

Sonny’s phone rings. He tells Ava so long.

Elizabeth begs Franco not to kill Seth. He lets go. He tells Elizabeth that he thought he had a gift of entitlement that allowed him to decide who lives and dies, but he doesn’t want to be that guy because of her. Nathan, Dante, and a random officer bust in. France says good thing they’re here, and they found the right guy

On the phone, Jason asks if there’s any way they can come to the hospital. He could use a visit from an old friend. I’m assuming he’s talking to Sonny.

Alexis tells Diane that she doesn’t want her license back yet. She needs to wait until she’s ready, and she’s not there. She wants to tell the committee, but Diane says she’ll tell them that Alexis is writing a novel. Julian offers to drive Alexis back, but Alexis says no. He tells her that he’s proud of her. Like she cares.

Anna has a headache. She finds Valentin’s WSB records in her inbox. The doorbell rings. I’ll bet I know who it is. It’s Nina, who walks right in, breezing past Anna. She asks what Anna wants with her husband.

Lulu meets Valentin at The Floating Rib. She says they need to talk about their daughter.

Seth is read his rights. Dante asks Elizabeth and Franco to come to the station, but Elizabeth says Franco needs to go back to the hospital. Franco asks if he has to go, and Elizabeth says yes. He needs medical care and she knows an excellent nurse. They kiss.

Tomorrow, Nina asks Anna why she’s obsessed with Valentin, Michael confronts Nell about who she’s seeing, and Lulu wants to come to an agreement with Valentin.

The Haves and the Have Nots

The police dig up Quincy’s body.

Candace and Jeffrey wait for Veronica at the hotel bar. Candace tells Jeffrey she has to see her brother, but Jeffrey insists his mother is coming. Candace thinks someone should shoot Veronica and put them all out of their misery. Jeffrey tells her to calm down. He says she wants him, not Candace, and he’s going to give it to her. Candace says the more he gives, the more she’ll want, adding that she ought to know, as someone who’s blackmailed people. Jeffrey says he’ll marry Melissa if he has to. It doesn’t mean that it has to be a real marriage. Candace thinks he’s out of his mind.

Justin calls Jeffrey pretending he’s calling another cop, and tells him they’ve found a body. They make plans to meet. Jeffrey tells Candace that they found Quincy. I can’t imagine Quincy doesn’t have a million enemies, although burying him the backyard was a poorly thought out idea. Candace wants to jet, but Jeffrey stops her. She says his mother is behind this, and she’s leaving.

Too late. Veronica comes in with a vase of flowers. She goes to the hotel desk and makes up a story about a guy named David leaving them in a taxi, and how they were supposed to be delivered to an Erica. She has no last name, and asks the desk clerk if she can help. The clerk says she’ll check later, but Veronica is insistent, saying that the driver was very upset about it. The clerk calls Erica’s room and tells her there are flowers from a David Harrington. Erica says she’ll come down and get them. Why? is a good question. Wouldn’t you have them bring the flowers up? Veronica thanks the clerk, and goes to meet Jeffrey and Candace.

Veronica makes Candace switch chairs because she wants to face the door. Candace asks what Veronica wants. Veronica says she doesn’t want to be there as much as Candace doesn’t, and makes fun of her pocketbook being a knockoff. She says she’s there to help for Jeffrey’s sake. She wants to know everything about what they did with Quincy. Candace says they didn’t do anything, but Jeffrey tells her that they stabbed him. He doesn’t remember how many times exactly, but goes with over 50 and less than 100. Candace says she’s not doing this, but Veronica tells her to sit back down. She says that over 50 will definitely get them sentenced. Candace says she went to law school, but Veronica says you actually have to read the books, not use them for knee pads. Whoa.

Veronica asks where Quincy was stabbed. Jeffrey says in the back, but he stabbed more than Candace, mentioning that Quincy had beat him, and Veronica says she knows. She says that kind of overkill is only found in rare cases. She wants to know where Candace got the money for the house, and Candace tells her from text book sales. BA-DUM-CHH! She’s not giving Veronica ammunition, but Jeffrey says they’re in this together. Candace says Veronica wants something from Jeffrey, but wonders what she wants from her. Veronica says she’ll figure that out when she knows what she’s dealing with.

Jeffrey says that Jim bought the house. Candace says she got it from Jim, but through banker Lloyd. Veronica says she must have blackmailed Jim again, and wants to know what it was. She says she knows everything about him, but not enough for him to buy her a house. She calls Candace stupid, paying cash for a house when she has no income, but says she likes her. She wants to know what the police will find, and Jeffrey says they buried the body in the backyard. Veronica calls them two geniuses and laughs. Candace says it’s not funny, but Veronica says it is to her. She asks them both to give her a dollar to hire her. She also wants the keys to the house. Candace says the police are already searching, but Veronica says she’s taking possession of the property. Candace thinks they probably changed the locks since the bank foreclosed.

Candace explains about the mortgage and forging the income verification. Veronica nearly falls out of her chair laughing. She tells Candace that Lloyd is in the Cryer’s pocket, and she was hoodwinked. Candace tells Jeffrey that Veronica isn’t going to help them. Veronica says the foreclosure just saved her life, and asks when it happened, before or after they found the body. The light bulb comes on, and Candace asks if she’s sure. Veronica says 100%. She tells Candace to explain it to Jeffrey and leaves.

Candace tells Jeffrey that the search warrant isn’t valid. Whatever they found after the bank took possession is inadmissible. They can’t be charged. Jeffrey asks what that means, and she says it means that bitch is brilliant.

Jim tells Kathryn he did her a favor, and that she’s the one who killed Jennifer. Kathryn says Veronica did it, and he wonders how she got their gun out of their safe. Kathryn says she asked to borrow it, and thought that David was having an affair with Jennifer. He wants to know how she got Jennifer to come over to the house, but Kathryn says she doesn’t know. Jim continues to interrogate her. He says if she gets Kathryn on the stand, she’ll be torn apart. As she answers his questions, he finds fault in each of the answers, and explains why they’re wrong. He says there’s science involved; it’s not guesswork. He asks her what happened, and she says she shot the bitch. He says Jennifer was the DA, a federal officer, and they’re going to be looking for her. Kathryn says she was pushed by him, Jennifer and Veronica. She goes over the list of things she’s told him to do and how he screwed them up. He asks if she feels better.

Jim asks who knew Jennifer was there. Kathryn says just them, and he asks if she’s insane. She says yes, and how about if she shoots him, and says it was a suicide pact between him and Jennifer? She tells him that Jennifer got between her and her only living child. He says he’ll handle it, and she says he’d better. And he’d better get the rugs cleaned. After that, she wants him out.

There’s a knock at Wyatt’s door. Dealer Pete comes in and Wyatt apologizes. Pete says he heard Wyatt overdid it, but it’s cool. They talk about the apartment. Wyatt says it’s great, and Pete asks why he called. Wyatt says he wants some blow, and Pete reminds him that he almost died. Pete says he almost OD’d, and he doesn’t want to be set up for murder. He’s not selling Wyatt any more drugs and suggests he get help. Wyatt says he doesn’t need Pete. Pete says he’s doing Wyatt a favor. Wyatt tells him to get out, shoving him out the door.

Hanna tries to get Benny to eat. She tells Quincy Jr. that they have to register him for school tomorrow, and he’s not too thrilled. She gives him something to read. Benny pushes the food away, saying he’s not hungry. Hanna puts it in the refrigerator like Joan Crawford. She tells Benny she’s looking for a job in the morning, and he might want to do the same. She knows he wants to own his own business, but he needs to save up some money and get another tow yard. He says it’s not easy, and she says no one said it would be.

Benny’s phone rings and it’s Mitch. He tells Benny to find Candace and keep her safe. He says War knows he did it, and he’s coming for Candace. Benny thinks they have time, but Mitch says War got out. He says they’ll catch up when he gets out, and Benny says they’re at the Fountain Drive Hotel.

Benny tells Hanna that Candace is in trouble. War is after her. Hanna asks what he wants with her, and Benny says he thinks she crossed him. Hanna says she practically raised War and he isn’t like that. Benny tells her that War threatened to kill Candace, and Hanna doesn’t realize how dangerous he is. He wants the keys so he can find Candace before War does. Hanna says she doesn’t know where the keys are at, and Quincy Jr. says he was playing with them. She tells him keys are not toys. Hanna is full of cliché remarks tonight. Benny takes the keys and goes.

Quita is sitting on the stoop, and sees a car going back and forth. It’s Wyatt. He says he’s lost and looking for some blow. The guy with Quita asks if he has money, and says he can get him some. Another guy stands on the driver’s side, and the first one pulls out a gun. Wyatt says he just needs a fix. Quita remarks what a nice car it is, and first dude adds that he has money too. Quita says he had money. She asks if that’s all Wyatt has, and he says yes. She says, let’s go where you live and see what you got. The other guy recognizes him as Jim’s son. Quita says they need someone to take him, and he asks them to let him go. Quita gets in the car with the gun and tells him to drive. This just seems stupid.

The clean-up detail is at the Cryer’s house. As soon as they’re done, Jim asks David where Jennifer is, and he says with Mama Rose. He says they’re getting in deep, and this is a big one. Jim says that David and Jennifer were…close. He says it’s all going to come back and visit them, but he’s hoping by then they’ll be really old or really dead. David says they’re going to take the body back to Jennifer’s house and set it on fire. One of the men Jennifer convicted is going to be very unlucky, and will be accused of the crime. He doesn’t like it, but Jim says it’s too late for that. David feels like they keep getting in deeper and deeper. Jim tells him Veronica didn’t do it; Kathryn did. David asks if he’s sure, and Jim says she told him herself, but no matter who did it, they’re in this together. He says they have to keep their heads on straight, and he’s concerned about Veronica. David says she won’t destroy herself. Jim asks about her mental state. David says beyond the delusional paranoia he deals with every day, they’ll have to wait and see. Jim wants David to talk to her, but he says he’s done. Jim says he’ll talk to her then. David says as loyal as he was when he was with Veronica, he’s even more loyal to his commitment to be without her. Jim wonders what it is with these women.

When he gets in the car, David’s phone ring. It’s Erica. He says he’s been busy, but it’s nice to hear a kind voice. She thanks him for the flowers, but he says he didn’t send any. She says they have his name on the card, and he tells her to throw them out, adding to put them outside immediately. While we think for a moment that there must be a bomb or something in them, when Erica opens the door, Veronica is standing there.

Next time, Veronica confronts Erica, Quita kidnaps Wyatt in his own house, and Benny tells Candace that War is looking for her.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

We flash back to the various white parties that Kyle has had. This year, she’s throwing everyone a curveball by having a Great Gatsby party instead. She has gigantic lamps with shades out on the patio that I love. The party planner explains what absinthe is to her, and she’s not too sure she wants to go that far in authenticity when she finds out it can cause hallucinations.

LisaV is on vacation. Even though Kyle is insistent that she be at the party, she doesn’t want to come back. She says she’s in France, but Kyle doesn’t buy it. In her interview, Kyle says she’ll be there, since she loves to make an entrance.

LisaR and Harry are making pies. She’s not sure if they have flour or a rolling pin, and Harry dubs it a disaster. Her cook digs a rolling pin out from somewhere, and manages to extract some flour. In her interview, Lisa says she’s a stranger in her own kitchen. She talks about Harry and Cindy Crawford having a pie bake-off, and finally calling it a draw. Celebrities, they’re just like us!

They’re preparing for the barbecue, and we flash back to Kyle’s idea of a barbecue, which wasn’t very close to an actual barbecue. Eden is all otherworldly looking, and brings them a “love bottle” as a gift. Dorit arrives, dressed down with her hair down. Kyle points out that they do have crystal on the table and bartenders, so it isn’t totally down home. They look across the valley – it’s a fabulous view – where LisaV lives, and Kyle asks if LisaR has binoculars.

LisaR introduces everyone. Her girls are star struck over Erika. Dorit talks to Eden about her annoyance at Kyle, and Eden says she got over it by doing a hundred Pilates classes. Eden thinks that Kim’s behavior at PK’s birthday party was closed off, but Dorit doesn’t want to be talking behind anyone’s back. She suggests that Eden talk to Kyle. In her interview, Dorit says she’s learned her lesson after Pantygate. Eden says she doesn’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable.

Eileen arrives and LisaR startles me by screeching her name. Oh good, Camille is here, but Dorit has to leave. That was fast. Apparently, Kim wasn’t invited. Eileen was glad to have a normal conversation with her the last time they met. She says she hates “icky energy,” which opens the door to Eden speaking her mind. She tells Kyle that Kim wasn’t very nice to her at PK’s party. In her interview, Kyle says Eden is like Groundhog Day. Eden says it wasn’t anything in particular, but Kim was abrasive and kind of rude. In her interview, LisaR is a peeved that Eden is having this conversation in the middle of her party. I would be too. Dog Lulu makes a poopy, which breaks the tension. I don’t ever want to agree with Kim about anything, but I’m thinking I’d want Eden to get off my back too. At one point, Eden talks about Kim’s coldness toward her as red flag behavior, but Kim doesn’t know Eden. Just because she’s sober too, doesn’t mean Kim has to be her best friend.

Kyle asks why it keeps getting brought up, and suggests Eden is inserting herself where she doesn’t belong. In her interview, Erika says that Eden should be more chill. She tells Eden that she shouldn’t have expectations of anyone. Eileen feels uncomfortable talking about Kim. Everyone disappears, leaving Kyle and Eden alone. Kyle says they all need support systems, and at another time they might be friends. She asks if Eden is coming in for a long awkward hug, and she is. Kyle demonstrates the hug in her interview with one of her dogs.

The food looks wonderful! Erika says she is not disappointed. Kyle wonders if she’ll fit in her Gatsby outfit now. The blueberry pie comes out. Erika wonders what Harry can’t do. #WhatDidHarryDo

The next morning, Dorit’s new trainer comes to the house. Dorit wants a toned body, but doesn’t want to work for it. Don’t we all. After the session, she suggests a cocktail.

Erika goes to the CBS studio for her The Young and the Restless audition. She’s a nervous wreck. They’re going to tape it and give it to the writers to create something for her. In her interview, she said the last time she did acting, she was a kid, and we flash back to a teenage dweeby Erika in a scene from some movie I’ve never heard of. In her interview, Eileen says the best thing an actor can do is listen. Truth! The director gives Erika some tips, and she’s good at following direction. She tells them how nervous she is, but you’d never know it.

Kyle chooses jewelry to go with her Gatsby costume. In her interview, she says she views the 20s as all money and glamour. Tell that to the people who stood in soup lines. Eileen wears a dress swiped from Days of Our Lives. Dorit, who stops by to pick up Kyle, is wearing an amazing turquoise faux fur wrap. On the way there, Dorit tells them that Eden called Kyle an enabler. This gets Mauricio’s hackles up, which we don’t see too often.

Erika’s character is gangster moll, and she looks like Jean Harlow. Kyle has everyone pose by an antique car and they take pictures. They’re all wearing wigs so it’s hard to recognize everyone. In her interview, Kyle says she’d like to get to know Eden, but asks if every meeting has to be a therapy session. She thinks she should start charging.

There’s a problem with the heaters. Kyle isn’t happy about a couple of other things, and is a little stressed. Eden interrupts her conversation with Kim, saying that she gets emotional seeing the two of them together, since it reminds her of her and her sister. In her interview, Kyle says she just told Eden to get her nose out of their business, and now it’s way up in there. Kyle tells Eden that she’s not an enabler. In her interview, Eden says that in smoothing things over, Kyle enables Kim. Kyle basically tells her to back off.

LisaR is curious, but rejects Eileen’s suggestion to eavesdrop. Kim says that Eden seems to be looking for trouble, and she doesn’t need that. In her interview, I think Eden is reading way more into this than she needs to, and is projecting like crazy. They talk about Eden saying that Kim attacked LisaR. Kim says the word attack is the wrong choice, and Eden just kind of jumped in there. In her interview, Kim says negative choices bring negative consequences. Eden tries to act like everyone else is talking about it, but she really means LisaR. Part of Eden’s problem is that she thinks one size fits all.

Guess who’s here? She Who Can Do No Wrong. In a gorgeous white antique car. LisaV says she couldn’t let Kyle down because friends support one another. PK talks to Erika about warming up to his wife, and she admits to being a cold fish. She calls herself the c-word, and LisaV nearly chokes.

Eileen and LisaR dance the Charleston. Kim has to leave for a date. Camille says it’s the happiest she’s seen her and she’s in a great place. They talk about how Kim is friends with Brandi now, and we flash back to when Brandi accused her of doing crystal meth in the bathroom. In her interview, Kim says she doesn’t think she’ll ever be friends with Eden.

Port-a-potty hijinks! Eileen tells Kim that everyone is in her corner. In her interview, Kim says that Eileen should call a spade a spade, and sometimes keep her mouth shut. I don’t even have anything to add to that.

Eden tells LisaV that she’s trying to snap out of it. She thinks that Kim got offended, and Kyle backed that up. Lisa says Kyle isn’t an enabler, and she doesn’t think it’s Eden’s business. She tells Eden that they didn’t get off on the wrong foot, and she’s happy about that, but her other foot will kick Eden in the ass if she messes with her friend Kyle. Enough said. I’ll bet Eden crapped her pants.

Next time, a trip to Mexico, LisaR’s daughter does the runway with Gigi Hadid, and LisaV tells Kyle what Eden said.

🗺  Ladies of London mention. Juliet is of Polish descent (her parents moved to the US when she was born), and we got to see some of her roots. Polish is also her first language, and she didn’t learn English until she went to school. This was interesting for me, since I’m Lithuanian – not the same, but close. When I was growing up, we frequently listened to Polish radio stations, and I’m sure kept some of the same traditions. The polka, anyone? Another highlight was Caroline #2’s Midsummer’s Eve celebration. I love Caroline #2 – I’m convinced she’s a fairy princess under a curse where she has to live among mortals. But even though she’s ethereal, she’s tough. She was like, I broke some bamboo and now I’m building a Maypole. Caroline #1 called it a “ridiculous spectacle,” and told us she hates flowers and ribbons, which should be no surprise to anyone. The next episode should be good, when a farewell dinner is given for Caroline #1, and Adela calls Julie a poisonous leper in polyester. It’s also the season finale.

 

Jan31

January 30, 2017 – Light Bulbs Come On at GH & James Gets an Expensive Nap

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Anna apologizes to Griff; she’d wanted to tell him about Claudette’s death herself. She brings him flowers, saying she’s sorry for his loss. He says Claudette made mistakes, but she didn’t deserve to die like that. Anna says she’s been there, and can relate to why he attacked Valentin.

Nina brings Valentin to The Floating Rib. She says he probably hates it since he’s used to five-star restaurants, but he tells her he used to frequent some pretty seedy places. They discuss the merits of dives, and Nina says the mac and cheese at the Rib is better than at the MetroCourt.

At the station, Kiki tells Dante and Nathan what happened with Sam. She says it’s been a lot longer than the fifteen minutes she said she’d wait. Nathan tells Dante he’ll deal with it while Dante makes out the search warrant for Alexis’s place.

Seth tells Elizabeth that Franco ran away to save himself. She says he wouldn’t go without telling her, and the only way he’d disappear is if something bad happened or he’s dead. We see the shelf of trophies again.

Franco tells Sam that he doesn’t know what happened. He doesn’t think she’s worried about Julian though; he thinks she’s worried that Alexis is involved with Tom’s murder.

Alexis goes to the station. She tells Dante that she’s fully prepared to cooperate with the investigation into Tom’s murder.

Nina tells Valentin that she’s been doing research on how to explain surrogacy to a child. She gives him a story she made up about an egg, but Valentin prefers a more clinical approach. Nina says Charlotte will be hopelessly confused. She says she has a problem with Lulu spilling the embryo beans, but Valentin says what’s done is done, and that’s why they have to talk to Charlotte now.

Griff tells Anna that he preaches about the power of forgiveness, yet he’s constantly challenged by it in his own life. Yep, that’s usually how it works. He can’t forgive Valentin, and doesn’t know what to do. He needs to find some answers. Anna says Valentin did give up some of his secrets, and it’s given her a place to start. She says he claims that he’s grateful for her rejection, but she’s not buying it. Griff calls Valentin a murderer, but Anna says there’s no proof, and it’s only his opinion. If he continues to attack Valentin, he could end up arrested.

Elizabeth tells Seth that Tom turned the tables on Franco and escaped. Seth says, then he was murdered, and wonders how she can trust Franco. She says Franco has changed, but Seth says it’s a lie. She asks where that leaves his own brother, inferring that Tom didn’t change either.

Kiki begs Nathan to save Franco. Nathan wonders why Sam went by herself, and Kiki says she wanted to talk to Franco before the police did.

Sam wants to know why Franco suspects Alexis. He says that Alexis was there. He tells Sam about running into Alexis at Gene’s, and then finding the picture of her and Tom in a booth there on the night in question.

Dante interviews Alexis. Why isn’t Diane with her? He says there’s increasing suspicion that she was involved with Tom’s murder. She says she is; she killed him.

Nina asks when Valentin was going to tell Charlotte, and he says someday. He tells her that his father Mikkos died when he was young. He spent a lot of time in England because Mikkos was hiding him from Helena. Stavros was obsessed with Lulu, and harvested her eggs against her will. It was found out that Stavros couldn’t father a child, so Helena set up Valentin and Daphne, and Daphne drugged him. He says rather than having his child raised under Helena’s thumb, he stole the embryo.

Anna talks to Griff about Valentin’s past. She says his talent for linguistics at Oxford led him to training at the WSB. She tells Griff about Valentin’s boarding school burning down.

Nathan tells Kiki to stay there, and asks if there’s anything else. Kiki says Franco knew who killed Tom, and explains how he didn’t want to hurt the family. She says that the way Sam was acting, she thinks it has something to do with her. She tells Nathan that she doesn’t care if he arrests Franco on the spot, as long as he’s safe.

Sam tells Franco that just because Alexis was having a drink with Tom doesn’t mean she killed him. Franco says, well, he didn’t. She asks what he was going to do with the picture, and he says he wasn’t going to the police with it. She wonders if he’s still going to protect Alexis after the police get there.

Diane bursts into the interrogation room. She says Alexis was acting so weird, she followed her. She tells her to wrap it up and let’s get going. Dante says that Alexis just confessed to Tom’s murder. Alexis says she can’t live like this anymore. Diane tries to get Dante to leave, but Alexis says she needs her friend to listen to her.

Seth says Tom tried to become the man he should have been, and Franco did none of that. He tells Elizabeth that his mother is sick. She was happy Tom was home, but her health is going to plummet now. Elizabeth says sorry about his mom, but she’s not trying to bring more pain to the family; she just wants to find Franco. Seth says, face it, he’s not coming back. He tells her to see herself out. When he leaves the room, she she’s a scrapbook peeking out from under a chair. It’s opened to a page with Kiki’s picture on it.

Valentin tells Nina that when he stole the embryo, he was prepared to kill Helena, but she wasn’t there. He approached Claudette, who seemed like the perfect candidate for a surrogate. She double-crossed him, but took good care of Charlotte. He was going to wait until Charlotte was old enough to understand, and if she wanted to reach out to Lulu, they would do that. Now Charlotte is asking questions she can’t understand the answers to. He says he’ll always do whatever he can for his daughter. Nina says she’s lucky to have him as a father. He says he’s the lucky one. She brought him love he thought he didn’t deserve.

Anna tells Griff that Valentin resurfaced as Theo Hart, specializing in smash and grab jewelry heists. She thinks he used his profit share for his surgeries, explaining that he was disfigured and had scoliosis. She says that’s why she didn’t recognize him until he stammered. She tells Griff that he wasn’t a monster back then; he was a brilliant trainee, but something must have happened that he’s not telling her about and she can’t remember.

Dante questions Alexis about how she knew Tom. She says she got drunk with him the day of Morgan’s funeral, but she didn’t know who he was. She woke up in a motel room, worried that she’d slept with him, because she’d been having blackouts. She had a blackout the night he was killed.

Sam says Franco isn’t going to sacrifice himself for her mother. He tells her that if Alexis killed Tom, she had a good reason. She has a great life, but has been through a lot. He says he’d like to make up for the sleepless nights he’s caused Sam, so if the police hear about it, it won’t be from him. Franco coughs up some blood. Nathan busts in with some cops. Sam tells him that Franco needs to go to the hospital.

The scrapbook contains pictures of various women in it, including Elizabeth. She wastes time looking through it until Seth comes back out and sees her. What an idiot she is. I would have grabbed that thing and run.

Nina tells Valentin that they’re kindred spirits. She says she hasn’t led a blameless life either, but there’s a little girl whose life is at stake. Valentin says he won’t risk custody of Charlotte by doing anything stupid. He tells Nina that she’s unpredictable, wild, and lovely.

Griff has to run tests on Franco, since he was beaten pretty severely. Kiki comes into his room, and says she was worried, but she’s glad he’s alive. She and Elizabeth were losing their minds. He asks where Elizabeth is, and Kiki says she texted her.

Seth asks Elizabeth what the book is and where she found it. She tells him it was under the sofa. He says he’s never seen it before. He thought Tom got better, and he’d sworn that he didn’t have impulses anymore. Elizabeth says Franco was right, and it’s proof that Tom was still a predator.

Alexis tells Dante that she was drunk the next time she saw Tom, and told him she wasn’t interested. She left the bar, and he followed her outside. He grabbed her, and pulled out a knife when she screamed. She went into a primal rage and got the knife away. She says she raised her hand to stab him – Diane adds, in self-defense – and she must have stabbed him, since he was found dead the next day. Diane asks if she remembers killing him, but Alexis says that she only has flashes of memory. Diane says maybe she didn’t do it, and Dante can’t arrest her on the basis of what she just said.

Nina tells Valentin he’s very special to her, and her family means everything to her. She suggests that they start protecting their family and tell Charlotte. Anna interrupts and asks to speak with Valentin. She tells him that she understands why he held on to the picture – because she inspired him to remake his life. Nina asks what she’s talking about.

Dante asks Alexis if she had blood on her clothes. She says she checked, and there was nothing, but maybe she washed. Diane suggests not making the case for them, and reiterates that it was self-defense. Dante says they’ll check out her place, but maybe some pictures will jog her memory. He shows her a picture of Tom’s body In the alleyway, and asks if she remembers anything. She flashes back to getting the knife from Tom and coming after him. He begs her not to kill him, and she drops the knife. She tells Tom, screw you, and jets. In the present, she tells Dante that she dropped the knife and ran. She didn’t do it.

Franco’s vitals are stable, but Griff says he should rest. Nathan says he’ll be outside, and Franco says good, but where is he gonna go? Nathan says they’ll send in Elizabeth as soon as she gets there. Kiki wonders what’s keeping her, and Nathan tells them about her going after Seth. Out at the reception desk, Griff tells Sam that Jason should be fine. He’s taken her by surprise, and she doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

Elizabeth tells Seth that Franco is still missing, but now the police will take her seriously about him trying to protect her. She says Franco didn’t kill Tom, but there has to be something in there that’s a lead. She takes the book and says she’s going to the police with it.

Kiki leaves the hospital room. Franco remembers being in the storage unit and writing the note. He flashes back to looking at the trophies, wondering again where he’s seen them before. Seth’s house, you moron!

Anna says if there’s anything more Valentin needs to know just ask. She tells him something in (I think) Latin, and says he’ll know what it means. When she’s gone, Nina asks what’s going on between him and Anna.

Sam gets Jason’s room number and runs for the elevator.

Dante asks if Alexis saw anyone else. She says she was afraid, and just wanted to get home before anyone knew. Diane asks if Dante thinks she’s innocent, and he says he does. Diane says it doesn’t look like self-defense, but a brutal vengeful murder. Dante says his sights are still set on Franco.

Nathan calls the station and lets them know what’s happening. Kiki wants to check on Elizabeth, and tells Nathan that if she shows up to have her call.

Franco ponders where he’s seen the trophies. He remembers. He sits up and says Elizabeth is in trouble.

Seth tells Elizabeth that he should be the one to bring the evidence to the station. She suggests they both go, but he’s hesitant. She says she’ll meet him there, and moves to the door. Seth stops her from leaving.

Tomorrow, Ava and Sonny argue, Franco wants to talk to the cops, and Valentin comes clean with Nina… maybe.

Vanderpump Rules

Wesley, a Villa Blanca bartender, is getting a drink-making lesson from Tom and Ariana on what they do at SUR and PUMP. Lisa asks if Wesley knows any of the staff, and he mentions that James has been there. Lisa tells him to never serve James. Tom says he’s taking James to hypnotherapy to get a handle on his emotions, but Lisa thinks he just needs to drink less. Wesley says they haven’t had any issues with him, but he’s only been there once.

James’s mom, Jacqueline, meets him for lunch. The divorce has been hard on James. He hasn’t seen her in a while, and wants to catch up. He tries to explain the mess he’s made of his life, comparing it to having given Lisa too many slices of pie. Jacqueline says at the end of the day, people are jealous, and James agrees that he’s been a threat to some people. I realize your mother is your mother, but this guy seriously doesn’t have a clue. He invites his mom to his new gig. They talk about Raquel, and James tells Jacqueline that Kristen has been lying about him sleeping with women other than Raquel. Jacqueline says she’s probably barren and that’s going to be her karma. I fail to see how this would even things out, but I see where James gets his charm. Really. That was just weird. I wonder what James’s karma would be, since he’s lying about Kristen lying.

It’s time for Brittany’s mom, Sherri, to go back to Kentucky. She thanks her mom for being a good sport, especially about the roast. Sherri asks Brittany if she’s sure that Jax hasn’t cheated on her, and has some things she wants to talk to Jax about. I’m sure Jax will be thrilled and so forthcoming.

Jax comes in with healthy food. He tells Sherri that he’s glad she could share his birthday with him. He apologizes for not being able to take her to the airport because he has to work. In his interview, Jax says he loves Sherri, but the second she’s gone, he’s eating hot wings while watching Sports Center in his underwear.

Sherri quizzes Jax on being gay, but he tells her he’s never gone down that road. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Brittany thinks he’s being defensive, and he says he’s gotten that question before. She tells him that no one is attacking him, but he can’t get out the door fast enough. On his way out, he suggests Brittany tell her mom how she’s been sitting on the couch for a year while he takes care of her. Well, he might pay most of the bills, but she’s hardly sitting around eating bonbons all day.

After Jax leaves, Brittany apologizes to her mother, and says it’s not okay. In her interview, she says Jax tends to turn things around and make her the bad guy. Jax comes back in, and apologizes that Sherri had to see them argue. Sherri says she just wants them to be happy. Jax says that he gives Brittany everything, and asks for nothing in return except to do what he wants. Whatever that means. And what about the constant demand for turkey sandwiches? Brittany pops back in from the other room, saying she’s never stopped him from doing anything. She tells him not to act like she’s ungrateful, because that’s not in her character. Jax thinks the other girls have been influencing Brittany. Sherri stops things before it turns into a fight, and suggests again that they go to church. Jax says maybe he does need Jesus, and that he needs something.

Lisa checks out the new paint for the entryway at SUR. It’s a yes. Katie tells Lisa that Scheana was complaining to her about the cost of the shower. Lisa says that isn’t something that Katie should even be involved with. That should be a given, and I’m starting to think maybe Scheana was raised by wolves. In her interview, Katie wonders if she should have relinquished control of anything, but I don’t know of any bride who planned their own shower.

Schwarz goes for a suit fitting with his groomsmen, including Ariana. He’s getting a custom-tailored suit, and the groomsmen will be in black, with their ties matching his suit. Tom asks if they can wear vests, and pouts when Schwartz says he’d prefer not. Hans and Franz would have a field day with this girly-man. Schwartz ends up agreeing, and Tom compares it to Stassi crying and getting herself invited to the engagement party.

The bridesmaids are having a lunch, and Scheana finally forks over the money for the wedding events. Brittany tells the girls about Jax being defensive with her mother. Stassi says she can relate, since he used to start fights in front of her parents all the time. They discuss the bachelorette party. Apparently, the bachelor party will be in the same locations, because Kristen has texted Tom about going to New Orleans, adding that Vegas isn’t an option. Schwartz likes the idea of the Bahamas, but not everyone has a passport. Stassi suggests if they go to NOLA, she do the heavy planning, since that’s her home turf. In her interview, Scheana says that Stassi is back to steamrolling everyone and making it about her, like that isn’t a legitimate suggestion. Not to mention that Scheana spaces out if the topic isn’t about her for more than five seconds. Brittany asks Stassi if Ariana being a groomsman is awkward, since they’ve had a falling out, but Stassi blows it off. The groom agrees to NOLA.

Lisa accompanies Katie to a flower shop so she can help with wedding flower ideas. Katie tells Lisa how Schwartz says they don’t need flowers because he’s such a cheapskate. I’m a cheapskate that way too. When we were getting married, neither one of us were members of the church we were being married in. I couldn’t see the logic in spending hundreds of dollars for something that everyone was going to see for an hour and then got left in a place we had no connection to. For the reception centerpieces, we had bud vases with a single bloom in them. Elegant and inexpensive. Lisa brings up the argument that Katie and Schwartz had the other night, telling her that the mean texts that go back and forth don’t help anything. She tells Katie that they’ll have enough battles in their life to fight – they need to unite and fight the world together.

Tom tells James that hypnotherapy is about being the best version of yourself, and that James needs to get in control of his emotions because he tends to overreact. James is skeptical, since Kristen had him do crystal therapy. We flash back to that. He wonders if he’ll wake up a changed man. The therapist comes to his apartment, and they discuss his drinking. She says only he can make changes in himself, and asks what he wants. He says he wants to make music, but doesn’t want to present himself as a jerk. He has a performance coming up, A Study in Hollywood, and he wants it to be positive. In his interview, Tom says that underneath his defense mechanisms, James is a delicate guy. He actually says “delicate guy.” Delicate isn’t a word I’d use in regard to James.

The session is over. The therapist says he’s rejuvenated and full of ideas now. Yay! All better!

Ariana is going horseback riding, and brings Scheana along. In her interview, Ariana talks about her first horse, Raven, saying it’s hard to explain the relationship between horse and rider. She got Raven when they were both eight, and Raven died when they were both thirty. She chokes up, and although I’m not too keen on Ariana lately, I feel for her. Twenty-two years is a long time to have an animal. Scheana watches as Ariana rides, and Tom joins her. After Ariana is finished, Tom tells her about the hypnotherapy session. In her interview, Scheana thinks it’s going to take more than that to cure James, and says the way he treats women is disgusting. Agreed and agreed.

Tom tells them about Schwartz and Katie doing a prenup. Scheana says she’d never do something like that, but Ariana and Tom think it’s a good idea since you never know what’s going to happen.

Katie and Schwartz go to the lawyer’s office. In her interview, Katie talks about Schwartz’s frugal ways, and gloats a little about him having just spent $2500 for the prenup. Katie has no assets, and the lawyer laughs when he sees Schwartz’s list. They talk about sharing custody of their dogs in the event of a divorce, and how they would each keep their own money made throughout the marriage. In his interview, Schwartz says doing the adult thing is not fun. I get that they’re doing this in case they do make money someday, but this is probably the easiest money that lawyer ever made. I also wonder about their lack of assets, considering they have jobs at SUR and Vanderpump Rules is in its fifth season.

Scheana tells Ellie about running into James and Raquel. They decide to attend James’s gig and make him uncomfortable. Somehow, Scheana thinks this will make him take accountability for his actions. Imagine the sound the buzzer makes when you get the answer wrong on Family Feud.

Jax and Brittany go out for dinner. He apologizes for arguing in front of Brittany’s mom, and she says Sherri was pretty uncomfortable. He asks her about the church her mother suggested, and tells her that he used to go to church camp and recites some rhyme about keeping your elbows off the table. In his interview, Jax talks about holy oil and not understanding what it’s for. Brittany tells him about the girls planning to go to James’s gig. He thinks it’s a great idea, and she reminds him that he’s still on probation.

Schwartz, Katie, Tom, Ariana, and Stassi as the fifth wheel, go to a painting class. In her interview, Katie tells us that painting isn’t her strong suit, but in the words of Bob Ross, there are no mistakes, just happy accidents. Scwartz asks if everyone is cool with everyone. Stassi thinks Ariana speaks to her in a callous and condescending way. Ariana asks why she cares, and Stassi says because they’re friends with the same people. She’s uncomfortable for them, it makes people unhappy, and it’s hurting her feelings. Tom says that thing about only you can make you feel a certain way, which is what people say who have just hurt your feelings. Katie agrees that it’s making things awkward, and wants it to stop. In her interview, Ariana thinks Stassi is acting entitled, but I think she is being callous and condescending. She definitely has a superiority complex. In his interview, Tom says Katie can’t get upset because Ariana is included in the groomsmen activities when she tried to exclude her to begin with. Yes, young and clueless Tom, this is exactly the point. Katie didn’t want her involved with the wedding in the first place, and obviously no one, including the groom, cared about her feelings.

James says that this is the night he’s been waiting for, and he’s going to kill it. Kill what? His career? Tom wonders what Jax is doing there, and Jax says he has an ulterior motive. Tom tells him, I’ll bet. James does some rapping. He seems winded. It’s maybe okay, but I don’t think Kanye West has anything to worry about. Kristen and Carter arrive, and now Tom is like, wtf? He says it reminds him of The Matrix when the black cat walked by twice – something is about to happen. Kristen explains about GG and Ellie being there to make James feel unsettled.

GG introduces herself to Raquel, and Raquel suggests that GG is obsessed with James. GG tells her that she’s delusional, and asks if there are unicorns in her world. Ha-ha! James comes over, and then Ellie steps forward, giving him the clothes she borrowed when she slept over. He says she’s disgusting, that he’d never have sex with the likes of her, and calls her a slut. She slaps him, sort of, and Kristen calls Jax over to watch. Tom gets involved. In his interview, he says they don’t care about Raquel; they’re just mad that they slept with James. Well, yeah.

Somehow it starts. James gets in Jax’s face and then darts away. Jax throws his drink toward James, and James throws a glass that shatters. There’s a bunch of confusion, and Kristen gets James kicked out. Outside, James screams at Tom that all his friends are lowlifes and losers. In his interview, James says that Jax is jealous. Because this has to be the only reason that someone wouldn’t like him. Tom asks Jax what the blip, and Jax says James tried to kick him. In his interview, Tom says it’s not enough that James got fired from PUMP; they have to follow him somewhere else. Jax insists that James was antagonizing him, and Tom says that he can’t blame James. I guess the hypnotherapy didn’t work.

Next time, the boys raid Lisa’s closet, Raquel questions James’s loyalty, and Scheana throws a hissy fit.

Postscript: I saw James rap on the subsequent Watch What Happens Live, and he was marginally better, but I don’t think anybody has anything to worry about. His performance sort of reminded me of a bad rap version of Oliver!

Jan25

January 24, 2017 -Alexis Confesses, Boy George Entertains & Quincy is Unearthed

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Jordan says mm-mm-mm like a secretary I used to work with, and tells Curtis that Buzz’s statement rings true, but that also makes him an accomplice. She says he makes for a compelling witness. Curtis says she has to admit that Sonny had nothing to do with the car bomb.

Michael brings lunch to Sonny. Sonny talks about Diane’s maneuverings, and says it looks good for him, but he still misses Morgan. Carly walks in saying she wants to eat immediately, because there’s nothing worse than cold onion rings. I tend to agree, but overcooked pasta is up there too.

Jason sees Elizabeth at The Floating Rib. They talk for a second and Elizabeth gets involved with her phone. Jason asks if everything is okay. Kiki joins them and asks if he’s there to help them with Franco.

Sam visits Alexis. Alexis asks if Sam wants lunch, but Sam is there to talk in private about something. Julian calls from upstairs asking if Alexis has seen his wallet. Sam asks what the hell he’s doing there.

Carly gives Michael and Sonny some souvenir towels from the airport because she didn’t get a chance to go shopping. She bought one for Morgan too, since she forgot. She tells them that Josslyn was crying in the car when she remembered she wasn’t going to see Morgan, and she “isn’t there yet.” Michael says he’ll talk to her. He feels that she might feel differently if it comes from him instead of her mom. Michael leaves, and Sonny asks Carly what about them?

Jordan heaps praises on Curtis for his solid work, and says it should clear Sonny. She’s concerned that the new DA is more interested with the win of nailing Sonny though. Curtis wants to find out where Winston and the boss lady are hiding. Jordan thinks they should bring Buzz in after convincing him that he’s safe with them, but Curtis says that might take some work. He suggests they chill until his truck is repaired.

Alexis asks to speak to Sam alone. Sam says she’s done trying to understand Julian. He leaves, and Sam says she thought she understood Alexis. She asks why Alexis let Julian back in, and Alexis says he’s blackmailing her. Sam asks for what, and Alexis says she hit him with her car and left him for dead. Nothing like getting right to the point.

Elizabeth tells Jason she can deal with it on her own, and Sam can fill Jason in. She and Kiki sit down, and Jason exits. Kiki apologizes for making an assumption. Elizabeth says she’s used to awkward when it comes to Jason and Franco. She wonders if they should call the police, but Kiki says they have a warrant out for Franco’s arrest. They’re charging him Tom’s murder.

Curtis asks if Jordan minds hanging out or wants him to leave. She says that’s on him, and he thinks he should take off. She says she does have other cases to work on. He says he knows she doesn’t like sitting still, and when he comes back, things will be taken care of.

Alexis tells Sam that it was an accident. Sam tells her leaving the scene is a crime, like she doesn’t know. Alexis says she called 911, but later found out that Julian knew, so she allowed him to convalesce in her house. Sam says it makes sense now, and realizes that Winston was looking for Julian. She asks what else Alexis is lying about. Alexis says she’s been drinking from morning to night for months, and that’s why she hit Julian with the car – she was drunk. She tells Sam that she’s deeply ashamed.

Kiki tells Elizabeth about the knife Franco had bought, and says the police mentioned something bizarre about a dog crate with Tom’s DNA on it. She tells Elizabeth about Tom trying to hit on her, and how she helped lure Tom to the studio. She says Franco told her that he was only going to talk to him. Elizabeth says none of it is her fault. Kiki asks if she knows what happened.

Michael greets Josslyn. She says she didn’t want to come back if it meant living with Sonny. Nell tells her that Carly and Sonny are getting back together. Josslyn says she doesn’t care; he killed Morgan. Michael says Sonny had nothing to do with it, but she says that doesn’t mean he’s innocent; he’s a mobster. Michael says he blamed Sonny too, but it’s easier to be angry than it is to grieve. Good one, Michael. This explains the load of diatribes on Facebook.

Carly says Jax talked Josslyn into coming home, but Josslyn made her agree that she didn’t have to live at Sonny’s. Sonny asks what about her. Carly says as much as she wants to be with him, she’s going to stay with her daughter.

Elizabeth tells Kiki that Franco didn’t kill Tom. Kiki thinks maybe he ran, but Elizabeth tells her about Franco’s car in the parking lot at Gene’s and finding his phone. She thinks something bad happened to him.

Sam says she knew Alexis was in trouble, but didn’t know how to ask, so she ignored it and she’s sorry. Alexis tells her not to be. She has every right to be angry. Alexis tells Sam that she was drunk when she was babysitting Danny. She started going outside of town to drink, but ran into Julian anyway. (Literally!) She says Julian was helping her detox and encouraging her to go to AA, which she did. She’s been sober two days and ironically, has Julian to thank for that.

Jason sees Julian, and tells him that they both know he’s connected with Winston and the boss lady. Julian says it affects all of them, and wants to talk to him.

Michael tells Josslyn it’s hard; the shock and unfairness of losing Morgan is excruciating, but she has to go through it. Morgan wouldn’t want them to be angry and tear the family apart. Josslyn starts to cry.

Carly wants to believe that once Sonny is cleared, the family will have a fresh start. Sonny agrees, but she says what about the day he finds out who’s responsible for Morgan’s death? What happens then?

Curtis brings sweet tea and food back to Jordan from some place they used to frequent. She says all the work they did with Buzz, now the food, it reminds her of old times when they were totally in sync.

Elizabeth tells Kiki that she took the phone to the phone store, but had no luck with drying it out because they were too busy trying to sell her a new phone. Been there. Know that feeling. Kiki asks what about the woman Franco wants to protect, and asks if Elizabeth knows who it might be?

Alexis tells Sam that she went to one meeting and was told she’ll have to start apologizing for what she did. She wants Sam to let her know when she’s ready. Sam says not yet, but she loves and supports her. She says she came over to discuss something Elizabeth said. She thinks Alexis is involved with Tom’s murder and implied that Sam didn’t know Alexis at all. She asks if there’s any truth to that, and Alexis says she may have killed Tom.

Julian tells Jason that Sam showed up at Alexis’s today and discovered him there. Jason is like, I’ll bite, what now? Julian tells him he’s living at Alexis’s house.

Sonny tells Carly he doesn’t know how he’ll feel, but he’s probably going to be furious. At this moment though, he feels that he’s learned a painful lesson about retaliation, and would think twice about it. Carly says it’s not exactly what she wanted to hear, but Sonny says it’s all he’s got. He says on New Year’s Eve they talked about living in the moment, and hopes she didn’t forget that. She says she didn’t. He kisses her. They kiss some more.

Nell tells Josslyn that Michael is right. Bad things happen. It’s scary and random, and sometimes unfair, but horrible things happen to people. Josslyn asks what they’re supposed to do. Nell repeats what Michael told her about being a victim to her anger, and says Josslyn has to move through it to get to the grief. She says Josslyn has a lot of supportive people in her life, including her. She says when she first came to town, Josslyn was happy living with her mom. The Josslyn she sees now isn’t too happy, and maybe it’s something to consider.

Jordan and Curtis joke around about old times. She talks about the stakeouts being tedious, but Curtis says those were some of the best times of his life. He says he could go back to his room and practice mindfulness, or they could continue reminiscing over a game of poker. He pulls out a deck of cards.

Carly wants to check on Josslyn. Sonny doesn’t like saying good-by, and she says she feels the same way, but she has to go. Josslyn comes in with Michael and Nell. Michael says Josslyn has something to tell them. Nell tries to excuse herself, but Michael wants her to stay. Josslyn talks about Morgan teaching her to ride a bike, and how he said it hurts sometimes to be brave, but it hurts more to give up. If she’d given up with the bike, she wouldn’t have learned how to ride and regretted it, so she’s not giving up on Sonny. She hugs him.

Elizabeth says she’s hoping for confirmation soon. Kiki says if this woman killed Tom, what’s to stop her from killing again, but Elizabeth thinks she’s not capable of that. Kiki thinks they should go to the police with the information they have.

Alexis tells Sam about Tom pulling the knife on her, and that she went crazy, but doesn’t remember anything after getting the knife from him. She says the body was found in the alley, so who else could it be? Sam says they would have questioned her if they had any evidence. Alexis says they’re after Franco and he has something on her, and she fully expects the police to come knocking at her door. Sam jets, leaving Alexis to worry about that on her own.

Jason asks Julian what Winston wanted, but Julian says he’s told him what he needs to know. He leaves and Jason sips his coffee. Where’s Valentin today? I miss him. He’s quickly become a favorite of mine.

Sonny thanks Josslyn. She asks if Avery is there, and Sonny tells her that she’s upstairs. Josslyn goes to see her, and Carly thanks Michael. Nell says he’s a great big brother and Michael says she helped. She says she just told the truth that Josslyn has a great stepfather who will always be there for her. Sonny looks grim, and not at all like he just got a compliment.

Curtis tells Jordan that her poker face stinks, and that he called her bluff three times in a row. He says he always know what’s going on behind those curls and beautiful eyelashes. She tells him take it to his girlfriend. He insists on seeing her cards – a pair of twos – and she says she thought she’d take a shot. He says he’s been known to do that too, and kisses her.

Kiki tells Elizabeth that Franco has always been there for her, and she’s going to be there for him and not sit around. She’s going to see what she can do about the phone. They agree on no cops. She tells Elizabeth to stay in touch and leaves. Elizabeth texts Franco again, asking if he talked to his mother.

Julian comes back to Alexis’s place, and asks how it went. Alexis says she told Sam the truth. She says he told her that he’d take care of the Tom situation, and asks how he’s doing that. She asks if he did something to Franco.

Sam sees Elizabeth and says they need to find Franco now.

Jason gets up, but doesn’t look too good. He falls on his face.

Tomorrow, Julian might be behind Franco’s disappearance, Curtis and Jordan get busy, and Tracy tries to revive Jason.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Dorit is having a 49th birthday party for PK. She wants something simple, intimate and elegant, but with pow. Whatever that is. Boy George will be performing, but she wants to keep it a secret from the guests until it’s time for the show. Dorit and PK discuss logistics.

Back in Greece, Erika is debuting her single at 3 am. Kyle talks about branching out from being a wife and mother with her stores, and how she has the TV show in the works. She tells Erika that it’s bringing up a lot of emotions and memories. She talks about her mother bringing her to the set of Little House on the Prairie at the crack of dawn. Erika gives Tom a call, and tells him how glad she is of his love and support. He does seem like a really cool guy.

Eileen and LisaR go rollerblading. Dorit, who’s never done it before, joins them. In her interview, Dorit says if this is what she has to do in order to hit the reset button, so be it, although she’d rather be having a cocktail somewhere. I’ve never rollerbladed either, so my sympathies are with her. I stink on regular roller skates and I’m even worse on ice skates. Lisa says she likes anyone who’s willing to move on. Afterward, Dorit invites the girls to PK’s birthday. She wonders if she should invite Kim. Lisa says it’s cool with her, but she appreciates the heads up. They call Erika to wish her luck.

Erika gets ready for the show. The stage is built on a cliff which is not exactly conducive to stilettos.

Harrison! Eden visits LisaV. The ponies! They’re having tea outside. Giggy! Eden just got done with a 48-hour relationship, which gives us a lot of insight on her character. The guy quit smoking because she didn’t want to date a smoker. Then – how dare he – ate a cheeseburger and immediately afterward, reached for a mint. She told him that he was going after the mint like an after-dinner cigarette, he accused her of having a type-A personality, and she broke things off. At first, I liked her, but I’m having second thoughts now. This is wrong on so many levels. First of all, she shows no appreciation for the guy quitting smoking for her, and then acts like having a mint is all kinds of wrong. The worst part is that she’s an addict herself, but is apparently unforgiving when it comes to other people’s coping mechanisms. And sometimes a mint is just a mint. Maybe he was concerned that he’d have bad breath after the burger. Geez. I think Eden might be a little picky. Lisa and Eden discuss game night. Lisa says Kim is great, even though she’s had aggressive moments with her. In her interview, Eden says her sister died of an overdose, but it wasn’t clear whether or not it was intentional. She says after her dad passed away, she realized she needed to clean up her act. Eden tells Lisa about being highly functioning when she drank. Lisa asks if she’s talked to Kim, and Eden says she has the behavior of a struggling alcoholic. In her interview, Lisa doesn’t understand why just being sober isn’t enough. While I agree it’s good to be involved with a program, especially early on when you have a whole lot of time that used to be taken up by drinking, I think Eden is being a little pushy. Eden thinks Kyle is an enabler, but Lisa says she’s stepped in many times. In her interview, Eden says Kyle is an enabler because she stays silent about the behavior. She tells Lisa that it was like watching her own family, and she’s concerned that Kyle will be standing where she is now – without a sister.

It looks very crowded at Erika’s venue. Kyle joins in the pre-show prayer, which contains words that Kyle has never heard in a prayer before. Erika is wearing thigh-high sparkly boots, and a silver and black leotard with more sparkles. She climbs a long ladder to the top where the stage is. In her interview, she talks about being concerned she’ll get blown off the mountain. She performs Painkiller, and then debuts Expensive.

LisaR visits Eden. Lisa describes Eden’s son, Tyler, as precocious in a good way. He is pretty cute. Dorit arrives next. She’s glad to get away from her own kids for a little while. Eden has never met PK, and wants suggestions for the perfect gift. She gives the girls some kind of aloe drink and makes smoothies. Dorit wants to know if she can put vodka in it. Lisa says she’s never done that, but has put a Xanax in one. Eden says she has too, and in her interview, Dorit questions a sober person taking pills. Lisa pulls out a bag of pills as big as my purse, most of which are supplements. I think.

After-party in Greece! Erika says the sun is rising, but who cares? They take pictures by the pool. Erika makes Kyle put on her swimsuit and they take some photos together.

Dorit has a problem with the party flowers and calls them tragic. She’s also despising the black curtain partition set up for the show. Boy George tries to calm her down.

LisaV calls Kyle, who just got back from Greece. Portia gets on the phone and asks Lisa about the horses. She wants to come to Lisa’s for a sleepover, and Lisa says now that Portia is out of diapers, she’s up for it. Although she can always borrow some from LisaR. Ha-ha!

Not being able to leave anything alone, Dorit tells Erika that her outfit is a step up from the T-shirt dress she wore last time. Dorit introduces the baby to Erika, and the baby is passed around like a football. Dorit claims there was water damage, and that’s why there’s a curtain up. LisaV thinks PK has something “up his little English sleeve” though. In her interview, Dorit says Lisa is too shrewd to pull something over on.

Kim arrives. She has a bum knee, and Eden helps her down the stairs, but Kim can’t even be bothered to say thanks. I’m not sure if Kim is in avoidance mode with Eden because she’s overbearing or because she’s right. Kim talks about Kyle going to Greece, and how much she missed the kids. She says now that she’s having a grandchild, she’s having the same anxieties she had with her own children. In her interview, Eden is concerned she’s going to end up reaching for a drink. Kim thinks Eden is being weird.

Everyone admires Kyle’s Gucci bag. Me too. She shows everybody the pictures from Greece.

Boy George is wearing an interesting tic-tac-toe themed suit with a matching hat. PK introduces Dorit, so she can introduce George. She gives a speech about how great a husband PK is, and wishes him a happy birthday. The curtain is pulled back, and George is ready to rock. Or whatever it is he does. He sings Karma Chameleon and changes to join the party.

In her interview, Eileen says she’ll have to keep an eye on Dorit since she lied so well. Eden makes her exit. Camille remarks how nice she is, and Kim makes a face. Kim tells Kyle about Eden asking her if her anxiety is an issue. Camille thinks she was just being concerned.

Dorit tells LisaV and George about going to Eden’s house, and how LisaR talked about putting Xanax in a smoothie. George wanders away, and Dorit continues to tell LisaV about the bag of pills LisaR pulled out. She says they were mostly supplements, but who knows? I’m sure we’ll be hearing about this until the end of the season, although it’s more interesting than Pantygate.

Next time, LisaR has a barbecue, Erika reads for The Young and the Restless, and a 1920s party happens.

The Haves and the Have Nots

David tells Veronica to put the gun down. She says, oh, look who’s being nice now. He tries to reason with her, but she’s out of her mind, so nothing works. She tells David to put his hands up. And then down. Veronica says she likes it, and tells him to get on his knees. She says he and Kathryn were having an affair, and makes up some fakakta story that she says she can convince a jury with. David says no one else needs to get hurt. She asks if he wants to hurt her, and he says no. She asks why the divorce then, and he says he was trying to protect her from herself, but I’m not sure where the logic is in that. Not that it matters. Veronica asks if he thinks she’s crazy, since he called her a delusional bitch. He says he shouldn’t have, and apologizes. She says it’s too late though, because he embarrassed her.

Veronica asks David if he believes she’d kill him and he says yes. He brings up the time she set the house on fire. She says she wasn’t trying to kill him, she just wanted him to burn a little. Whoa. David says he’s sorry, and that it’s between the two of them; she should let Kathryn go. David’s phone rings and Veronica wants to see who’s calling. He gives her the phone. It’s a missed call from a hotel. Of course Veronica thinks it’s a woman. She calls the number back. It’s Erica. Too bad. I wanted to see Veronica proven wrong. Erica says she was trying to reach David, and Veronica says she’s David’s wife. Erica tells Veronica that she’s a reporter, and wanted to know if David had a comment on a political poll. Veronica says he’s in the shower and intimates that they’d just had sex. Erica says she’d read she was getting a divorce. Veronica says they’re not, and Erica asks for her opinion. Veronica tells her to call on a business line.

Veronica tells David she doesn’t believe that was a reporter. He gets up, and she tells him to get back on his knees. He says he’s not doing it. Veronica tells him that Kathryn planned all of this, and she had nothing to do with it. He wants her to put the gun down, but she says he won’t listen if she does. He says he believes her. Kathryn says it’s not true, and asks if Veronica is going to shoot her too. Veronica doesn’t want to give up the gun, but David tells her to take the clip out, and she does. She gives him the gun. Kathryn says there’s still one in the chamber and he takes it out.

Jim comes in. He’s like, what the hell? Kathryn tells him Veronica did it, and tried to kill her. He asks who is that on his floor, and I laugh. David tells him it’s Jennifer. Kathryn repeats that Veronica did it. Jim has David give him the gun. Kathryn wants to call the police, but Jim doesn’t want to. She says they have to tell the authorities, and he says he is the authorities, and he’s going to let Veronica leave. Veronica says he’s not letting her do anything, because you can’t please her. He reminds her that the DA is dead, and if the Feds stick their nose into this, they’re going to open up a bigger can of worms. Veronica acts like she has nothing to do with it. Jim says maybe, but her hands have been on plenty of knives throughout the years. David tries to stop her, but Jim says let her go. What a mess.

Hearing my thoughts, Jim says they’ll need a clean up the likes of which they’ve never seen before. He asks if David can make the call. David has it, and goes elsewhere to do it. Kathryn can’t believe that Jim let Veronica leave. He says he has a lot on his mind. I’ll bet.

Poor Benny. He’s still on the porch, thinking Candace is coming. Hanna comes out, and tells him she packed his clothes. She gathers up Quincy Jr. and they get in the car.

Wyatt looks around his townhouse. He tells Jeffrey about the parties he’s going to have. Jeffrey tells him that he doesn’t want to relapse, and Wyatt tells him to chill. Jeffrey says he’s not going to watch him do this, and Wyatt says he’s not going to get high. Jeffrey says he’s tired of caring, and wants to leave, but Wyatt physically stops him. Jeffrey says he’s sick of everything, including Wyatt, and he’s done. Wyatt asks what he has to do to get him to stay, but he won’t do that. Jeffrey starts to walk out, and Wyatt says he’s scared. He says he can’t control himself, and if Jeffrey leaves, he’ll die. Jeffrey is the only one who’s ever loved him, and he resents him for it. He apologizes for treating Jeffrey badly, and begs him to stay, saying that he needs Jeffrey.

Jeffrey says this reminds him of his father, who’s willing to stay with his mother through all kinds of hell. He knows Wyatt loves him, and that’s why he has to go. He can’t help. He says he’ll text Wyatt the name of a group who can. They have people who’ll help him stay strong. He wants Wyatt to show that he wants to get better. Wyatt says he doesn’t need Jeffrey. Jeffrey says he does, even if he doesn’t want to. Wyatt tells him to get out.

Hanna stops by where Candace lives and Pearl calls her over. She says she thinks the police are after the man who went in the house and never came out. Hanna goes over to Candace, who tells her to go home. Hanna asks if she did something, and Candace tells her good-by. Hanna tells Candace that Benny is waiting for her in tears; she could at least call him and tell him she’s not coming. She asks if Candace did something to Quincy, and if he attacked her and she fought back. Hanna says if that’s the case, she needs to say something now. She says she can’t help Candace if she won’t help herself. She tells Candace that Benny will sit there all night and to call him.

Veronica gets back home. She looks pretty tired, and rightly so. Melissa comes downstairs and asks if she’s okay, noticing she’s bleeding. Veronica says she was mugged. She apologizes for missing the party, and asks if Jeffrey is there. Melissa says no, and Veronica says she has to find him, apologizing again. I have to note that Melissa is wearing a fabulous off-white crocheted dress.

Veronica calls Jeffrey. He asks what she wants, accusing her of calling the police, but she says that she didn’t. She tells him that it was Quincy’s sister, because anyone can follow a trail left by two idiots. She instructs Jeffrey to meet her with Candace at a hotel, calling Candace “that thing.” She says they have to meet her in thirty minutes, because he wants to stay out of prison. Or not. It’s his choice.

The forensics officer tells Justin that it’s not blood on the hot tub cover; it’s a marker. Justin is like, oh good. The officer says nobody noticed this? and points to some freshly dug earth. Justin says Candace was having yard work done, like that excuse would have sufficed. The officer calls someone over.

Justin tells Candace to get out of there now. Jeffrey calls Candace and tells her about meeting with Veronica. Candace says no way, but he says what choice do they have? She says not much, since the police just asked for shovels. She says Veronica has something up her sleeve, but agrees to meet. She says she has to talk to Benny first. Jeffrey says they have to trust Veronica, and she’d better be there in time. Candace says she’s on her way.

Mitch gets thrown into a cell next to War. He asks War how long he’s there for, and War says he’ll be out in a second. Mitch says don’t count on it with the drug charge. War wonders how Mitch found out, and tells Mitch that he has powerful connections. Mitch is like, whatever. War realizes Mitch set him up, and Mitch asks how he knows. War says he crossed the line this time, and Mitch says, let’s go to war. War says that’s his name. Not like him to make a funny, although he’s not smiling. War says okay, it’s on. Mitch tells him that he did it all on his own, and Candace didn’t set him up. He adds that War isn’t ever getting out to bother Candace again. War says when he gets out, it won’t matter who did it, and Mitch says he’s not getting out. War says the first thing he’s doing is cutting Candace’s throat. A guard comes in and tells War he’s free to go. Oops. Mitch asks for his phone call, but the guard walks away.

Hanna pulls into Benny’s driveway and tells Quincy Jr. to stay in the car. She asks Benny if Candace knew what time. Benny says she did, and Hanna says she has a place with two beds and a kitchen, not so nice, but clean. She tells him when she found out his father was married, she was devastated; she was sure he was the one. She wanted someone to love and help her, and he seemed smart and kind. He put her up in a nice apartment when he found out she was pregnant. In her eighth month, his wife found out and had her evicted, along with his sister. She had nowhere to go, and her parents wouldn’t let her come home. She kept moving and kept praying. God always found a way for them, and she tells Benny that He will now.

Benny says he’s sick of trying. He takes a step forward and gets dragged back every time. Hanna says some people do anything, get away with it and prosper, but people who have a calling on their lives are different. She says that Benny and his sister have a calling. When he asks what that means, Hanna tells him that God has a greater plan for them. She says Candace isn’t listening, and it’s why everything she touches falls apart. Benny says he just wants to be happy, and Hanna tells him to surrender to God. He says he doesn’t want to hear it right now, but he’s getting to the point that she is with Candace. He says he was doing well, and she did them wrong. Hanna says she’s not doing it on purpose, and he accuses her of defending Candace.

The police pull up and tell Benny that he has to leave. He says he’s waiting for his sister. Hanna tells him to come on, but he’s insistent. The officer says if he doesn’t leave, they’ll remove him. He gets belligerent, and the police drag him off the property. He struggles with them, and Hanna begs them not to hurt him. They throw him into the car, kicking and shouting. Quincy Jr. watches.

The officers uncover Quincy Sr. in Candace’s backyard. Justin slithers away.

Next time, Wyatt gets lost in the wrong neighborhood, Kathryn claims Veronica pushed her to insanity, and Candace and Jeffrey meet with Veronica

🚢 Ladies of London mention. Because it’s late, I’ll just say that there were fabulous sunglasses and a lot of talk about boundaries. And a good soundtrack, as usual.

Jan24

January 23, 2017 – Remnants of Maxie’s Wedding, Katie’s Shower Aftermath & Some Belated Quotes

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Finn and Hayden get busy. He has quite a bit of tattoo action going on that I’ve never noticed before. They talk about how happy they are. That’s a sure sign a bomb is about to drop. Hayden hears my thoughts, and says she’s done waiting for the other shoe to fall.

Elizabeth leaves a message for Franco. She says they’re in this together and he has to call her back. I have the feeling “has to” isn’t in Franco’s vocabulary. Brad overhears, and asks if she’s looking for Franco. Elizabeth asks if Brad knows him.

At the dive bar, Scotty shows Gene Alexis’s picture and asks if he knows her.

Nathan carries Maxie over the threshold. Because we need to see that dress some more.

Anna tells Valentin that she remembers. He tried to kiss her on her birthday.

Lulu tells Charlotte blah-blah-blah same stuff we heard on Thursday, and that she’s Charlotte’s real mommy. Charlotte says no way. I don’t blame her. This is just a little abrupt.

Hayden rifles through junk food wrappers. Nothing. Finn says they’ll have to venture out and search for food. She doesn’t want to let him go, and he says it’s just the beginning. The beginning of their life of hunting down fast food? She goes to the bathroom or whatever, and he takes his works out of the drawer. She forgets something, and asks what he’s doing.

Brad tells Elizabeth she’s not the only one looking for Franco – he’s missed several art therapy appointments. He tells her the police were at the hospital as well. His phone rings and he steps away, saying later. Elizabeth calls Scotty, who hasn’t seen Franco either. He tells her he’s at Gene’s trying to get clues, and she says she’ll meet him there.

Maxie sees some presents in the room, and wonders why they weren’t taken back to the apartment, but Nathan tells her they’re his presents to her. She says she’ll wait to open them, since she already has the best present ever.

Nina cuts a piece of the wedding cake to set aside for Charlotte. Dante wants to talk to her, but she’s not receptive. Omg, her green dress, simple, but oh so sexy and elegant. Although anything looks good on Nina. She tells Dante that they’re tearing Charlotte away from her father.

Lulu tells Charlotte she knows she’ll always love Claudette and she’s sad, but there are a lot of people who love her, like Lulu and Dante. She explains that Rocco is Charlotte’s brother, and any time she’s sad, she can come play with him. Charlotte tells Lulu to leave her alone and storms out, slamming the door. The door is stuck and I laugh because so is Lulu. I actually like Lulu, but geez, she is way past overbearing.

Griff is still pinwheeling around, trying to get to Valentin, who suggests Andre get him out of there. Anna says she and Valentin were at the academy together. She was training to be a field agent, and he was an analyst. He asks if she remembers what he actually did, but she says she doesn’t remember much about him. Only that he was scarred and creepy. Okay, she doesn’t say that, but she’s thinking it, and says he looked different. He says she’s being polite, and he changed because of her. He certainly cleaned up well.

Hayden tells Finn she knew it was too good to be true. She asks if the cure didn’t work for him. He says he’s not sick, but he’s fought the disease for a long time, and he still needs to fight the bacteria in his system. He tells her there’s nothing to worry about. She goes back to doing whatever.

Elizabeth goes to Gene’s. She tells Scotty that Franco’s car is in the parking lot, but Scotty says he’s not there. Elizabeth thinks they should call the police because she’s an idiot.

Nathan and Maxie bask in the afterglow, and she tells him she’s excited about the future. He says he knew the second he met her that they’d be together. She suggests indulging in her favorite cookies, and he surprises her, having already put a box in the nightstand, even though he hates when she eats in bed. I’m with him there. I cannot deal with having crumbs where I sleep.

Lulu yells for help and I laugh some more. Dante looks for her and calls her phone. It’s ringing, but it’s in her purse – which he has in his hand.

Nina sees Charlotte all upset and asks where her papa is.

Valentin suggests that Anna recoiled in horror, but she claims it’s otherwise. She says she didn’t care what he looked like. He says she did, but just covered it better than most. She says he was smart and they were friends. He says he was shoved away where they could use his talents, but not look at him. He tells her that he sold his talents to the highest bidder, and had his spine straightened from the scoliosis that had plagued him. He says what’s one less cripple next to perfect agent Anna Devane.

Lulu bangs on the door. She wonders how she’ll get out, and looks up.

Scotty tells Elizabeth that calling the police will just make it worse. They found Tom’s DNA on the dog cage that came from Franco’s studio.

Maxie’s next present is a custom-made purse she wanted. She asks Nathan if he’s ever seen anything so beautiful and he agrees, but I doubt his sincerity. He gives her yet another present. It’s a necklace.

Dante tries the linen closet door. He gets it open, but no Lulu.

Charlotte tells Nina what Lulu said. Nina tells her not to think about it, and they’ll talk to her papa later.

Griff tells Andre that Valentin murdered Claudette. Andre says that Griff has a lot of unresolved feelings, and it’s easier to believe Valentin killed her than she took her own life. Griff thinks Valentin did more than try to kiss Anna.

Valentin thanks Anna for giving him the incentive to remake his life. He did come into a fortune, but prior to that, everything he had, he worked for himself. And it started in her room at the academy on her birthday. Her rejection of him gave him more than anything else ever could. Valentin leaves and joins Charlotte and Nina.

Nina tells Valentin that Charlotte is upset. He says he’ll fix it. Charlotte tells him that Griff said he killed mommy. Valentin says Griff is mad at him, so he told the worst lie he could think of. He would never hurt anyone or anything she loves. She says she hates Griff, but Valentin says that’s poison, and doesn’t want her hating anyone. Nina says Griff isn’t the only one who said something that confused Charlotte.

We hear sounds from above (no, not God or angels) and everyone looks up. Lulu plops through the ceiling.

Griff asks if she’s okay, and she says the only thing hurt is her pride. Dante asks Lulu what happened, but she just wants to get cleaned up. Valentin holds Charlotte in his arms, and asks if Lulu told her something. Charlotte says that Lulu told her that she’s her mother, but she doesn’t want her to be.

Maxie tells Nathan that the necklace is beyond stunning, and it’s vintage. He says it belonged to his great grandmother, but didn’t look as good on her as it does on Maxie. She tells him that she loves it and him.

Finn and Hayden go to The Floating Rib. Brad is there waiting for Lucas. Finn thanks him, and Hayden tells Brad to make sure that Finn doesn’t miss any doses.

Elizabeth asks Scotty if he thinks Franco is on the run because he killed Tom.

Hayden wants to play pool. Brad asks if they’re coming back to GH and Finn says hopefully. Brad says now that they’ve had a successful trial with the serum, they should start applying for grants. Hayden wanders off, and Brad asks about them being a couple.

Maxie loves everything that Nathan got her, but wishes she’d gotten him something equally as wonderful. She gives him a ball signed by Derek Jeter. She reminds him of the first game he ever saw, and says she tracked it down from the same game. She says she hopes he doesn’t mind that it’s autographed. At least she didn’t have it removed. He says he’s surprised she remembered, since they were handcuffed together when he told her. She says it was the second-best night of her life. This one is the first.

Andre, Anna, and Griff sit down for a drink. Griff asks if Valentin forced himself on her, but Anna says they were friends. When she turned him down, she assumes they went their separate ways, because she doesn’t remember him after that. She says it didn’t mean that much to her.

Valentin tells Charlotte that Lulu shouldn’t have said what she did. Charlotte asks if she was lying. Valentin says it’s complicated, and they’ll have the conversation when they’re less tired and stressed. and he’s been able to think about it. He tells Charlotte that he and Nina love her. Nina says she’s honored to be Charlotte’s stepmother. Charlotte says stepmothers are wicked, but Nina is wonderful.

Dante asks Lulu what happened. She says she did something stupid. She tells him that she found Charlotte hiding and could tell she was upset, but she made it worse. She told Charlotte she was her mother. She says instead of making her feel better, she scared her. Dante says he doesn’t think she was scared, but Lulu says Charlotte wanted to get away from her, and she doesn’t blame her. They’re strangers to each other. Oh, now the light bulb comes on.

Nathan and Maxie go over the night they were handcuffed together and whose fault it was. Maxie finds one more present. Handcuffs. She asks who they’re for – her or him? He says they can negotiate.

Lulu asks Dante what if Charlotte hates her forever. He says that’s not going to happen. Charlotte has fallen asleep on Valentin’s shoulder. Everyone starts to leave.

Anna tells Andre that Valentin thanked her because her rejection inspired him to change his life. She doesn’t believe it though. She thinks he came to Port Charles to get revenge. She sees them go down in the elevator.

Scotty tells Elizabeth that if she hears from Franco to let him know and tell him to call. He leaves, and Elizabeth asks Gene if a guy was really murdered there. She acts all excited, saying she watches true crime stories, and asks if he could tell her where. He tells her the alley in the back.

Brad asks Finn why Hayden thinks he’s taking the serum, and that the drug he’s taking is highly addictive. Hayden returns, and asks Finn for a game of pool.

Elizabeth finds Franco’s phone in the alley. There’s blood on it. She wonders what happened.

Tomorrow, Michael tells Josslyn that Sonny has nothing to do with Morgan’s death, Sam asks Alexis what she’s lying about, and Julian has information for Jason.

Vanderpump Rules

Lisa asks Scheana if everything is okay in Scheana/Shay land. Scheana says it’s all good there, but with the girls, it’s another story. She’s expected to cough up extra money for the shower that she was unaware of. Lisa suggests she make things clear to the girls, but leave Katie out of it.

Tom is Batmanning (hanging upside down) and Ariana tells him he needs to get ready for his birthday party. He’s having a “fundrager” for Project Elevate, which helps to give schooling to kids in Haiti. How surprisingly un-shallow of him. He says tonight kicks off a week of debauchery. After his party, they’re having a birthday roast for Jax that Kristen is hosting. Tom gives Ariana the heads up that he’s invited Stassi to the fundraiser. I hate his hair. There, I said it.

Katie has to go back to the paint store, since Lisa hated the samples for the VIP room that she’d brought back. All the colors look the same to Schwartz. Katie tells him his eyes look like Jax’s eyes, and he says he hasn’t been drinking that much. We flash back, and yes, he has. They discuss a fight they had after the shower. Katie had wanted help in bringing the gifts back, and Schwartz wanted to stay out drinking with his friends. He tells her she was being Tequila Katie and she says he was raging drunk when he got home. He calls her a bitch, and she tells him thanks for coming and walks out. Leaving him there. She drives past and tells him to call an Uber, because if he’s going to call her a bitch, she’s going to be one. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Tom is carrying one of those gigantic checks like from Publishers Clearing House, except it’s a blank. Everyone is arriving for the fundraiser and they make small talk. Which is really not much different than the talk they usually make. In his interview, James discusses his new job, and we flash back to the new boss telling him that if he drinks, he’ll lose his job and be given an amateur haircut. Tom does some Saturday Night Fever dance moves, since he’s wearing a white suit.

Scheana walks up to James and his girlfriend, Raquel, saying she’s glad they’re still together…considering. This ought to be good. James asks considering what, proving how stupid he really is, and Scheana asks if Raquel knows about Ellie, the girl who had a photo of herself in bed with James, dated when he was already dating Raquel. James says she’s a DJ groupie. In her interview, Scheana says he found the one beautiful dumbest girl in LA who believes his lies. This, coming from another one. And I’d hazard a guess there are quite a few beautiful dumbest girls in LA.

Lisa arrives. They’re using one of those Star Shower things, so there are green sparkles everywhere. Whenever I see an ad for one of those, I think of the customer review that I read where the person said not to buy it unless you hate your neighbors. Which is kind of what I’d thought. Scheana and Kristen tell Lisa how stupid Raquel is. Scheana brings up the money thing, and says she didn’t expect the shower venue to be split only three ways. Katie comes by and everyone gets quiet. In her interview, Scheana says she’s a people pleaser and doesn’t know how much more she can take.

Jax tries to pay the tab and his card is declined, so Brittany pinch hits. In her interview, she says, now make me a sandwich, and I laugh. She’s so cute and personable, I just don’t get what she sees in Jax. The birthday doughnuts are brought out. Lisa asks about Lala, who seems to have fallen off the face of the earth. Lisa is disappointed that she hasn’t even called in to work. Ariana talks about Stassi, saying that she tries to tell people how to live their lives, but she’s not having it.

Lisa asks Katie about her paint samples for the VIP room, and Katie tells her about the fight she and Schwartz had. Schwartz sidles up to the conversation. Lisa tells them it’s time to sort this nonsense out.

Scheana tells Ariana that she’s been feeling lonely lately. Shay isn’t around as much, and doesn’t respond to her texts, blowing her off if he’s working. Welcome to the world where people work when they’re at work. She tells Ariana that she feels like she can’t have anything going on in her own life because everything is about Katie this summer. Ariana says maybe they’re not her real friends. Leaving out the part about when it was Scheana getting married, it’s all we heard about for a year. Not to mention she has a wedding photo the size of my bathroom above her couch. And they’re divorced now.

$8600 has been raised, and Tom says it will help him get through his hangover the next day.

Raquel accompanies James to his new job at the Bradbury Hotel. Max shows up as well. James tells him about the fundraiser, and says he didn’t miss much, except Scheana trying to stir the pot. James says this is his new PUMP. The camera pans around, and it looks pretty empty. He thanks his new boss for the opportunity to play for no one.

Lisa talks to Peter about Lala. She’s annoyed that she’s been supportive, and Lala just isn’t showing up for the job that Lisa gave her when she was on the skids. Scheana tries to talk to Katie about how Katie tends to fight with Schwartz when she’s drunk. Because she can’t stay on a topic that doesn’t involve herself, Scheana moves on to complaining about the price of the shower and getting angry drunk texts from Kristen. In her interview, Katie says she would have hoped the bridesmaids would have worked that out among themselves. Yeah, me too. I don’t need to be Emily Post to know you don’t discuss shower finances with the bride. Scheana says she also got a drunk text from Kristen about Ariana, after which Katie extracts herself from the conversation.

Jax, Brittany, and her mom, Sherri, go out for dinner. Jax tries to prepare them for the birthday roast; he’s hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst. They talk about his arrest in Hawaii. In her interview, Brittany says her mother is only there for a short time, so she didn’t want to leave her out, but she’s a tough woman and should be able to take it. Brittany tells a story about secretly having a keg party where her mother almost got arrested for allowing underage drinking. Jax tops that with how he sold report cards when he was in school. Shocking! Jax went to school???!

Tom visits Scheana and Shay so that they can go over material for the roast. Shay looks a lot better since he sobered up. Scheana brings up Katie being meaner, now that she’s friends with Kristen and Stassi again. Scheana asks if Tom thinks drinking is involved, and he says he does. She says any time they bring it up, it’s not worth it, and Shay says when someone gets defensive like that, there’s usually a problem.

Stassi and Katie go to a head shop. They’ve gotten marijuana cards from the doctor for basically bullsh*t; stress or something. Katie talks to Stassi about her conversation with Scheana regarding the bridal shower. Stassi wonders if Scheana was raised by wolves. Katie thinks smoking weed will help with her anger. Instead of Tequila Katie, she could be Toking Katie. I’m guessing Stassi just wants to smoke weed. They buy a bunch of cool edibles.

Kristen and Brittany get together to discuss the roast. Brittany says she’s not a comedienne, so she needs some help. Brittany gets a text from Tom, telling her he’s going to bring up the did she or didn’t she Kristen/Brittany thing. Kristen explains to Brittany’s mother that it was a rumor, but Sherri is not too thrilled and threatens to take Brittany back to Kentucky.

The roast begins! Jax is given a cartoon-like crown (like the one from the old margarine commercials), and Kristen starts the show with a list of crappy things Jax has done. Ariana is introduced next. She mentions that the last time they celebrated his birthday, he got arrested. Katie follows, and then Scheana. We flash back to various Jax stupidities. Shay and Tom give their input, with Shay saying that he’s glad he’s not the fattest of the group anymore. Tom brings up the Kristen/Brittany “rumor,” and Brittany covers Sherri’s ears. Tom gives Jax a portrait in an Andy Warhol comic strip style.

Stassi takes the mic. She reveals some objects and we’re supposed to guess what they have in common. The answer is, Jax you can go f-yourself, but I don’t really understand it. Lisa has sent a video message requesting him not to post public pictures of his genitalia, because she is the only one in the world who calls it that. Brittany and Schwartz round out the roast. Schwartz says if you’re one of Katie’s bridesmaids, there’s a 57% chance Jax has slept with you. He intimates that Jax has also had some men, and in his interview, Jax is concerned about Sherri hearing all of this stuff. None of the jokes are particularly funny, but I think this is something where “you had to be there.” It’s not like he’s Frank Sinatra or even Pauly Shore.

I’m hungry, but I can’t think of anything I really want. I think that means I’m not really hungry.

Afterwards, Kristen tells Tom she’s not too happy with him. He uses the excuse that it’s a roast, and tells her not to be so mad. Jax tries to smooth things over with Sherri, who would like him to explain what the remark about sleeping with men was all about. He tells her that he once had a gay roommate, who was also his best friend, and that’s where they’re getting it from. In his interview, he says out of all the heinous things he’s done, Sherri has to focus on him maybe kissing a guy. In a rare moment, I agree with Jax.

Next time, a paint color is finally chosen for the VIP room, Sherri discusses the roast with Jax, and James gets in a fight at his new job. They showed that in last week’s preview too, so I’m hoping it’s not just another tease.

✍ Because there was no Friday post…

Quotes of Last Week

Sometimes it’s necessary to go a long distance out of the way in order to come back a short distance correctly. – Edward Albee, The Zoo Story

In The Name of Diversity, You Must Conform! –  MRCtv

Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use. – Emily Post