Tag Archives: Lisa Vanderpump

January 17, 2017 – A GH Wedding, a BH Girls’ Lunch, Waiting for Candace, & Some Notes

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Maxie is afraid that Nathan is being pressured, and Lulu tells her that it was all Nathan’s idea.

Nathan tells Dante he’s not nervous, but he’s blown away that everything was pulled together so quickly. The bride and her entourage arrive, but Spinelli blocks them from coming out of the elevator.

Julian tells Sam and Jason that he was the intended target, but had nothing to do with planting the bomb. Jason isn’t interested in Julian’s stories, but Julian says how about the truth? Sam asks him if the picture that Jason found looks familiar, and he asks where they got it. Jason explains about finding it at the pawn shop. Sam asks if it’s Julian and what it was doing there. Julian says everything that’s happened is about the family, and it’s time he told her everything.

Winston tells the boss that the plans are in motion. She pours tea.

There’s something wrong with Leo, and Olivia tells Ned she’ll meet him at GH.

Maxie wants out of the elevator. Spinelli wants to err on the side of caution, and tells Nathan to blindfold himself. Nathan says that they’re not traditional, but Spinelli points out how many times his plans have gone awry. Dante puts a napkin around Nathan’s eyes. Maxie and the bridal party walk through. Maxie says the venue looks spectacular, and Nathan says nothing is too good for her.

Andre and Jordan see one another. He asks what could be more romantic than a surprise wedding. Curtis joins them, saying he needs to speak to Jordan. He’s arranged for her to meet Buzz, but it might have to be tonight.

Winston tells the boss that Julian is refusing to kill his son-in-law, but he might change his mind when his own son pays the price.

Olivia runs into the hospital. She tells Sam that she got a call from Ned, and something happened with Leo.

Mac asks if Maxie is ready for a special delivery, and brings Georgie in. Maxie says she’s lucky to have Mac in her life. He says he’s the lucky one, and happy to be surrounded by all of his girls. Felicia takes a call, and Anna comes in with Emma.

Mac has one piece of advice for Nathan – hurt his little girl and he’ll hurt Nathan worse. He asks to walk Maxie down the aisle, and she says she wouldn’t have it otherwise. Felicia tells them that they have a problem.

Griff arrives and chats with Anna. She starts to tell him something, but Emma interrupts. Valentin comes in with Charlotte. She goes off with Emma.

Ned tells Olivia that Leo’s stomach is being pumped as a precaution. He found Leo alone at the babysitter’s with an open bottle of aspirin. The sitter says she only left the room for a second, and swears that she didn’t put the aspirin bottle there. Julian looks deep in thought.

Curtis tells Jordan that his contact only feels comfortable moving Buzz within a certain window. Jordan explains who Buzz is to Andre. She asks Curtis where the meeting is supposed to take place, but Curtis says he’ll fill her in on the way; the less everyone knows, the better. She agrees, and Curtis says he’ll let her know right away when it’s set up. Andre tells Jordan that letting Curtis keep a material witness from her, and meeting him somewhere in secret, is compromising her ethics and safety. He wants her to choose not to go with Curtis and stay with him. Somehow, I don’t think this has to do with Buzz, and Andre has some serious jealousy issues.

Felicia says Lucy’s flight has been redirected, and she won’t get in until midnight. Maxie is worried that they won’t have someone to marry them. A still blindfolded Nathan says that they have determined pushy people in the room, and they’ll find someone. I guess Griff can’t do it unless they’re Catholic? Maxie wonders if the universe is telling them something.  Mac tells Robin what happened, and that they’ll have to delay the wedding. Robin says that there’s someone in the room who can marry them – Spinelli.

Spinelli was ordained from the Church of Illuminating Wonders so he could marry Sam and Jason. I have to admit, I googled it to see if it was real, but there’s no such church. He’s hesitant because of his past with the bride, but Maxie says she’d love for him to officiate. He says marry her, he shall. Griff asks Anna what she wanted to tell him, but she tells him that they’ll talk after the ceremony.

Valentin suggests Emma and Charlotte sign the registry. Lulu tries to get him to leave, but he says he’s not going anywhere. She says it’s Maxie’s day and she’s not fighting with him, but he’s not welcome there. Nina pops out, saying yes, he is, and tells them to table the conversation since the wedding is starting. Lulu sits, and Nina asks Valentin what’s up. He says that Lulu wants to tell Charlotte that she’s her mother. Nina says it’s too soon, and if Lulu really cared about Charlotte’s welfare, she’d wait.

Anna tells Valentin that she’s closer than he thinks. She says he’ll have to pay the consequences when she finds out the truth. He remarks that not everyone pays for what they’ve done, and I think he’s talking about her.

Julian ponders as Olivia discusses Leo with the others. She wonders how she could trust some stranger to care for her son. Julian says she’s not to blame for what happened. The doctor comes out.

Jordan tells Andre that it could mean the difference between putting the right or wrong person away. Andre says he doesn’t want her to trust the wrong person – Curtis of all people.

The ceremony starts with Emma and Georgie as flower girls. Lulu comes next. She’s the only attendant? I guess so, because here come Maxie and Mac. Needless to say, Maxie’s gown is gorgeous. Off the shoulder, lacy, and a full skirt, but not too long of a train.

For someone who was unprepared, Spinelli certainly does well. He does the objection thing and everyone laughs, but Obrecht runs in, saying the mother of the groom objects most strenuously, making me think she might be a match for Spinelli. I always forget how good Kathleen Gati is in this role, and wish they’d use her more.

Nathan asks what she’s doing, and she says she’s the wounded party. Maxie says she thought Obrecht was on board with them getting married, but Obrecht is appalled that she was notified via text message. Everyone else was too, but she says she’s the groom’s mother and was in surgery all day. Obviously, her attendance means nothing to her son. Nathan says he just got distracted. She says no one even noticed she was missing. Nathan says he’s glad she’s here, and Maxie says she is too, addressing her as h Schwiegermutter, mother-in-law in German. This chokes Obrecht up, and Nathan takes her to a seat of honor in the front.

The doctor says Leo will be fine. They didn’t detect anything in his system, but want to keep him overnight for observation. Olivia and Ned go in to see the non-baby in the crib. (Seriously, this is an empty crib with a bunched up blanket in it, and they’re not fooling anyone.) Julian stands in the doorway. Ned is gracious enough to ask if he wants a moment, and Julian thanks him for saving Leo. He says he’s glad that Ned is there in case anything happens to him, and to take care of Olivia, who’s a wonderful mother, and he leaves.

Julian tells Sam and Jason that Leo will be fine. Sam asks why he’s leaving, and Jason asks what he was going to tell them about the truth. Julian says it isn’t important right now. He says things have changed in the various organizations. Families were off limits, but are now considered fair game. He’s concerned that Danny and Sam might be targeted. He wishes he could tell them more, but has to go. Jason asks if Sam buys it, and she says no.

Ned says Leo is going to be fine, but Olivia is still freaked out. He says nothing is more terrifying than when your child is in danger, not that Leo is his child. Olivia says she can’t do anything about Julian being his biological father, but she’s hoping that Ned will be the father figure in Leo’s life, if he’s up for it. Ned says he thinks he is, and they kiss.

Wedding back in motion. Jordan gets a text and has to go. Andre tries to get her to stay, but that’s a no. Impromptu wedding means impromptu vows, and Spinelli hands the wedding over to Nathan and Maxie. Nathan talks about being mad at the world when he met Maxie – we flash back to that – and she opened his heart again to happiness and love. Even in tough times, she found a way to be positive. Maxie says even though she didn’t know she needed one, a hero showed up at her door. He helped her recognize that she had the strength to save herself. We see a bunch of flashbacks from their early relationship and how it progressed, while they do their vows in a voice over. They kiss, and Anna remembers looking at her broken watch.

In her flash back, Valentin comes up behind Anna and says something in French. She tells him to stop. At the wedding, everyone is applauding. Valentin turns to look at Anna, who looks panicked.

At the reception, Spinelli announces the bride and groom. I never knew that Maxie’s name was Mariah Maximillia. Everyone demands a kiss, and the couple obliges. Robin asks Spinelli if he’s cool, and he says he’s sincerely happy. He wonders where Jason and Sam are.

Jason suggests that Sam back off for a while. He says Dr. Lee told her to take it easy months ago. They kiss in the elevator.

Olivia tells Ned that Julian might have something to say about it, but Ned isn’t so sure. He says Julian was surprisingly understanding, and seemed almost grateful to him. Olivia says that Julian does seem to love his children. Ned says it seemed like something else was on his mind. Olivia wonders what that could be.

Julian goes to the boss’s new location. I have no clue what it is, but it has Asian décor. A restaurant? A tea house? Who knows. We see the boss’s high heels and that she’s dressed in red. She says she can spare a moment or two. It’s Tonya Walker…I mean, Olivia Jerome. My first thought is, oh great, we have two Olivias now, and my next thought is, dammit! I wanted it to be Helena.

Tomorrow, Olivia J. says she’ll get her revenge, Charlotte disappears, and Anna smacks Valentin across the face. He probably likes it.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

I grow weary of these women. Except for LVP, who can do no wrong.

My hat’s off to Erika. She’s leaving at 6 a.m. to do her video shoot for Expensive. She tells us that people are usually offended for her videos and she just won an award for that. Anyone who’s offended by her must not have seen many videos. There’s a pillow fight with money flying around everywhere. LisaR, who comes by for a visit with Eileen, says it’s like cotton candy meets Vegas meets Miami. I thought it was more like teenage girl’s bedroom meets money meets sexy lingerie.

When the shoot is done, Erika shows Lisa and Eileen around the studio. Eileen is thinking since she gave Erica a part in her show, maybe Erika should return the favor, and shows us her jazz hands.

Here it comes. Dorit is showing PK her new dress and brings up Pantygate, and how Eileen told her she talks too much. PK suggests she should have called Uber broomstick for Eileen, but agrees that Dorit takes a while to tell a story. Ohhh, the dress is nice. It’s an LBD.

Eileen and LisaR vogue on the set after Erika leaves to change.

Kyle and Mauricio meet with LisaV and Ken at one of Mauricio’s properties. He’s branched off on his own, and is one of the top agents in the business, having sold the Playboy mansion for $200 million. Lisa thinks he’s going to make a sh*tload of money on the property. Kyle claims she was just as happy when they were in a two-bedroom apartment with the kids, but she’s glad she doesn’t have to stress going to the mailbox every day. I totally identify. She adds that Mauricio having his own company means being his own boss, so there are definitely compromises, but she understands that everything is for the family and looks at the big picture.

Kyle, LisaV, and company go to lunch. Portia has come along and makes funny pictures of Lisa with some program on her phone.

LisaR and Eden go shopping. Lisa tells Eden about Kim acting idiotic when she tried to be nice to her on game night. Eden doesn’t think it’s okay how Kim vomited up so much unproductive talk. Lisa says she’s torn, but doesn’t reference that to anything.

Kyle discusses the same thing at lunch, and we flash back to the Amsterdam dinner, which we will never, ever be allowed to forget. Kyle says Kim and LisaR just don’t like each other, and that LisaR was inappropriate in bringing up Kim’s arrest. In her interview, Kyle says she doesn’t want to talk about it anymore, yet she’s still talking about it. LisaV uses the f-word in front of Portia, but it’s pretty funny when she realizes.

Eden tells LisaR that she felt no connection with Kyle, but Lisa thinks Kyle was just distracted. In her interview, Eden says there’s something there that she’s going to figure out. Lisa asks what she should do with the Kim stuff. Eden says it would be different if Kim reached out, and that Kim might be sober, but that’s not the issue. Lisa thinks she’s “mostly sober.” Eden wonders what she can do. Lisa thinks that Eden being another sober woman might help Kim get through, and calls Kyle an enabler. Eden says she’s all about tough love. She tells Lisa about her sister calling her up on the New Year’s Eve before she died, and how Eden wouldn’t go out with her. Lisa says Kyle is afraid to turn her back on Kim because she might die. In her interview, Eden explains how the disease impacts the entire family. She thinks if she understands Kyle, she can help Kim. Lisa says all she’s done is try to help, yet she comes out as looking like a mean bitch. Well…

Erika and her creative director are packing for a gay festival she’s performing at in Mykonos, Greece. Kyle is coming along since she’s the only one who can get away. The director says they’ll have eight to ten trunks. That’s a lot of costume changes.

Eden meets Kyle and LisaR for lunch. Kyle lets Eden try on her mother’s wedding ring, which is 10½ karats. Kyle explains that her mom passed away a while ago. Eden asks if the drinking problem in her family was passed down. Kyle asks if it always has to come from someone, and in her interview, thinks Eden should back off. Eden tells her that Kim reminds her of her own sister. She says Kim is sad and her energy is heavy. Kyle says she’s sober, and Eden asks if she’s doing a program. Kyle makes some kind of vague noises and obviously doesn’t want to talk about it. Eden says it’s hard for her to watch someone who could be struggling. In her interview, she says everyone tried to cover up her sister’s illness and shove it under the rug. Lisa says they all experienced the ripple effect of Kim. In her interview, she hopes the conversation is a step toward healing, but realizes it could backfire.

Harrison! LisaV and Ken are going to meet Max and the adoption lawyer who facilitated the process when they got him from foster care, since he’s expressed an interest in finding his birth parents. Lisa thinks it will be emotional for all of them. Giggy! Lisa says they tried to adopt more children in England, but were told they were too old. She was 35. Pandora wasn’t keen on Max looking for his birth parents, which is why she’s not with them. We flash back to her being bummed when Lisa mentions the possibility. Max looks through the folder, and Lisa gets emotional.

Lisa takes a moment, and when she comes back, she talks about giving Max to Pandora when they brought him home, and how he was always “her” baby. She says they always got along, and there was never any competition. Lisa sees that Max’s birth father played the guitar, and talks about how Max picked it up at 14 and just knew how to play. Ken suggests getting a detective to deal with the searching end of it.

Kyle leaves for the trip with Erika. Erika is starting the day by popping some champagne, although I have no idea what time it is in Greece. The director tells her she’ll be performing at 3 a.m. She’ll also be performing for 30,000 people. Kyle arrives, and Erika shows her around. It’s not my style – everything is way too white and sterile looking – but it’s beautiful. Just don’t touch anything. In her interview, Erika says she’s stayed away from women because they tend to be judgmental, but Kyle isn’t like that.

Dorit tells us that she doesn’t like tension and conflict. She calls Eileen, who obviously wasn’t expecting the call. Dorit says it was tense the other night, and asks if she’d like to meet for a girls’ chat. She’s also going to call LisaR. At least Lisa doesn’t wait in stunned silence for ten minutes after hearing Dorit’s voice. Dorit tells her that a few drinks were coupled with misunderstanding, and invites her to the lunch with Eileen. In her interview, Dorit says she has reservations, but she’s prepared for whatever happens.

Kyle has the best sunglasses! Erika practices for the show. In her interview, Kyle says they lead very different lives. She’s still making breakfast for the kids in the morning, while Erika gets lifted by a bunch of naked, hunky guys. She exaggerates; they’re only half naked. The creative director tells them that the lift still needs to be perfected, and directs the guys to toss Erika in the pool.

Dorit meets the girls for lunch. She says it got escalated and heated the other night, and hopes they can resolve it, but if not, they tried. Dorit says it’s no excuse, but she did have a few drinks that night. She says she appreciates their input about Pantygate, but they seem to want to resuscitate it, even when Erika thought it was over. She wants to understand why it keeps being brought up. She says she and Erika are fine with it. Eileen says she understands where Dorit is coming from, and is trying to see it from Dorit’s point of view. She doesn’t remember it happening that way, but if Dorit feels that she was being aggressive, she apologizes.

Dorit brings up the text message from LisaR. In her interview, Lisa claims that she’s always right. Oh, LisaR, how misguided you are, says Dr. Seuss. Eileen suggests hitting the reset button. She says she didn’t mean to put Dorit in the hot seat or make her feel uncomfortable, and would like a fresh start. In her interview, Dorit says she’s not going to forget, but she’s hopeful. She also admits that maybe she talks too much.

Next time, Boy George performs, Erika performs, and Eden wants to talk to Kim.

The Haves and the Have Nots

David tells Veronica to get off of him. She says Kathryn is trying to kill her. Kathryn turns the tables, and says it’s the other way around. Veronica screeches that David has to believe her, but he backs away a little. Kathryn says she’s lying and that she did this, pointing out her injury. She says Veronica shot Jennifer and then tried to kill her. Kathryn wants David to call the police, but he says he’s not doing anything until he understands what went on. Kathryn says if he doesn’t call, she will. Veronica says he knows her. He says yes, he does, and backs away some more. Veronica moves forward, and David falls backward onto the couch. He sees Jennifer’s body.

David is like, wth? and Veronica says that Kathryn killed Jennifer. Kathryn tells him again that Veronica killed her. Veronica tells David to quit taking her pulse, and that it’s a crime scene, so he shouldn’t be in the middle of it. Kathryn tells him that Veronica knew Jennifer was after him, and shot her. He says it’s like Maggie Day. Veronica says that was a casualty of war. Kathryn asks what happened and if David liked her too. She tells David that he has to protect her, and to call the police now. Veronica says she didn’t do this.

Jim calls David, saying he’s out of jail and Lloyd is picking him up. David says he found Kathryn, but to tell Lloyd to drop him in front of the house and not to come inside. He says it’s too sensitive to discuss over the phone. Jim asks if Kathryn is okay, and David says somewhat. Jim is like wtf? and David tells him that Veronica and Kathryn are pointing fingers at one another, and to get there asap.

David hangs up, and Kathryn says he needs to call the police. David says they’re going to wait for Jim. Veronica wants to leave, but David tells her no. He says no one is going anywhere until Jim gets there. Kathryn asks if he’s going to let her bleed to death, and he points out that even he can tell it’s a flesh wound. He repeats that everything is going to wait until Jim gets there.

Erica calls Candace, but she says she’s in the middle of something. Erica wants to give her a David update, but Candace says they’ll talk later. Erica tells her that War is getting out of jail soon, and advises her not to stay at her house. Candace says the police are there and have a search warrant. She asks how Erica knew about War. Erica says one of her targets knows the DA, and the DA told him just now. We know this is a lie, because Jennifer has been lying dead in the Cryer mansion for a while. Like since last season. Candace asks when he’s getting out, but Erica doesn’t know. Candace tells her that the bank caught the forgery, and if she doesn’t have the money by 5 o’clock, the bank is going to foreclose. She wants the name of whoever prepared the documents. Erica offers her money, but doesn’t have enough. Erica warns her that War thinks Candace set him up, but Candace says Mitch is the one who did it. Erica says it’s crazy, and that maybe she could get the money from David. Candace says she has to work him slowly or he’ll run. He can’t think she’s taking advantage of him. She explains how to present the story.

Candace gets into her car and Oscar gets in the passenger seat. She says she’s in this mess because of him and get out. He tells her he has a mark who can make them a lot of money, and to call him. She tells him she’s going to scream and he gets out. He tells her they’re running out of time and leaves. She tells herself that she does need the money.

The cops drill open Candace’s safe. Why didn’t they just ask her for the combination? She has about 20k in cash and a lot of photos of Jim in compromising positions. The officers bag the evidence.

Mitch goes to Benny’s house. Benny apologizes, and asks what happened to the truck. Mitch says it’s the only thing that was his, and now it’s all bent up. He thinks what’s happening isn’t right, and Benny agrees. Mitch says it is what it is, and they had something for a minute. Benny adds that they tried. Mitch asks if Benny is all right, and Benny insists he is. He asks why Benny is sitting outside, and Benny says Candace is supposed to bring him some money. Mitch suggests they get Benny’s truck out of the tow yard, but Benny says the bank is taking everything, even what he had before he got the tow yard. The bank told him if he tries to take his own truck, he’ll be arrested. Candace put everything in the mortgage. Mitch says screw everything, and they should just go get the truck. Benny says how, and Mitch tells him how he got his own truck out. Benny says the cops are probably all over the place, and Mitch apologizes for losing it. Benny says he’s getting there too.

Mitch says Candace needed the money for War, but he took care of it. They talk about how neither one of them is “about that life.” Mitch says he can’t do what he’s thinking. He says Benny doesn’t want the money; they’ll come after him and his folks. Benny says, so he just loses everything. Mitch says they’ve been there before, but Benny says he’s getting old. He had it, and she stole it. Mitch says it was War, and asks if Benny has called Candace, but Benny says he wants her to come on her own, and he doesn’t want to hear her excuses.

A police car pulls up. Benny says he can’t bail Mitch out. Two officers approach and ask for Mitch. They tell him he’s under arrest and cuff him. One officer goes for the truck and the other reads him his rights. How come Mitch doesn’t just call his family? I know he wants to find his own way and all, but it wouldn’t be the first time he’s called them in a pinch.

Jeffrey calls Candace. She asks if he spoke to Justin and he says no. She tells him what will happen to him if he goes to prison, and he tells her not to threaten him. She says she isn’t; she’s just informing him. She tells him to call Justin on a three-way call, because she wants to talk to him. Justin answers, and says Jeffrey had better tell “that bitch” that nothing happened between them. There’s silence, and Candace asks if Jeffrey heard Justin. Justin asks who it is, and she says the bitch who he didn’t want knowing anything. Justin gets agitated, and Jeffrey tells him not to pay attention to Candace, and tells Candace to apologize. She does, and Jeffrey says they need his help. Justin says he’ll do it for Jeffrey. When Justin hangs up, Candace tells Jeffrey that they have him. Jeffrey asks what she said to Justin, and she says, what she had to. Jeffrey says she’s not helping and they’re doing it his way.

Wyatt comes out of his hospital room fully dressed. Jeffrey tells him that the doctor hasn’t discharged him, and he isn’t leaving. Wyatt says he hears that, and walks out.

Justin putters around the kitchen, pretending to look for evidence. He takes something out of a drawer that looks like an EpiPen. It is a pen. A fat, red, felt tip. He makes some marks on the hot tub cover and says he thinks they have something, and that a forensics team should look at the hot tub. He has the other officers help him move the cover. I have no idea what’s in his head.

Candace gets to her house and Jeffrey comes out. Candace apologizes for what she said, and he asks what she wants. She says she needs his help, and he says that’s what he was trying to do. He tells her that he’s bought her time, but eventually, they’ll check the backyard. He tells her to get out of there, and tell Jeffrey to go somewhere he can’t be found. She says he likes Jeffrey, and Justin says not like that; he’s a friend. She tells him there’s money she needs, but he says they already went through the safe, and the money has been packed as evidence. He tells her the compromising photos of Jim are gone too. She asks if he can get them, but he says no, and that she should really go. She asks if he’ll call. He says he’s already in too deep and doesn’t know why. She says because of Jeffrey, and it’s okay if he likes him. Justin says he has to go.

Benny is still sitting outside. Hanna tells him he needs to pack, but he insists that Candace is coming. Hanna brings out a chair and sits next to him. He says he can wait by himself. She asks why he doesn’t wait inside, and he says that every five minutes she’ll be telling him to pack. She says it’s a nice house and she’s glad Candace gave it to him along with the tow yard. It shows she can still care about someone and there’s hope for her yet. Benny says that’s not exactly positive. Hanna says he’s mad because she’s right. He suggests she go in, and Hanna says she’s taking Quincy Jr. to the hotel. She says even if Candace comes, they still have to leave. She tells Benny she’ll be at the Fountain Drop Hotel. Benny insists Candance will bring money for something better. Hanna doesn’t want Quincy Jr. to see the sheriff put them out. She tells Benny she loves him and loves the way he loves his sister, but she’s not coming. She goes inside, taking the chair with her. Benny stares into the distance.

David tends to Kathryn’s wound. Veronica says David used to be like that with her, tender and caring. Kathryn says she doesn’t know how he could have loved her. David tells her don’t, and Veronica says he takes Kathryn’s side even after Kathryn tried to kill her. David tells her to shut up. Kathryn says that Veronica pushed him to another woman. Veronica says she wishes she could get out, but David is waiting for the boss man to tell him what to do, and starts talking like a plantation slave. Kathryn says she sees why David filed for divorce. Veronica tells her to stay out of it. She says she’s not the kind of enemy Kathryn wants to make. Kathryn says that’s a change of pace, since just before, Veronica was trying to kill her. Veronica says if she was trying to kill her, then she’s the same person. Kathryn says she can’t bait her, but Veronica says she’ll continue to do it in court, and not to take her down this path. She suddenly decides that the three of them – Kathryn, Jim and David – planned this, and David tells her that not everything is a conspiracy. Kathryn says she sees what David means, referring to Veronica being psychotic. David says she’s witnessing it firsthand, but don’t. Veronica starts in about how David can’t make a move without Jim, and does the slave thing again. She says she’s sick of it. David says there’s a dead body here, and she says she doesn’t give a damn. Kathryn says that’s because she did it, and tells David that they have to call an ambulance.

Kathryn realizes that the gun is next to Veronica. David sees it too, and makes a move for it, but Veronica gets it first.

Next time, Wyatt wants Jeffrey to stay, War threatens to cut Candace’s throat, and Hanna approaches Candace about Quincy.

✈  Ladies of London acknowledgement. They’re still in Scotland, with the men joining them for a final night. This leaves me feeling badly for Joan Collins Sophie, since she’s going through a nasty divorce. The highlights were a whiskey tasting where the ladies thought the whiskeys (which were no doubt very aged and expensive) tasted like everything from “cat butt” to “bad breath,” along with a huge production over the serving of haggis. This is another thing that didn’t go over big with any of the women, although a few were good sports. The way I feel is, if you’re there and it’s traditional, shut up and just try it. I was the only one, along with the chaperone, who ate whatever was put in front of me on a trip to Russia when I was in high school.

I was surprised when Julie said she didn’t eat meat. I knew Juliet was a vegetarian, and I get their names mixed up already, so this doesn’t help. Julie made a toast that Marissa read way too much into in her interview. My take was that Julie was saying that when she came to town, she was a wimp, but seeing how strong Caroline #1 is, made her grow in her own strength. Marissa wondered what the underlying meaning was, and if it was some kind of threat. She hasn’t exactly been at the top of her game though, and kept repeating that she’s tired and can’t do it – whatever it is – until Caroline #1 finally paid attention to her. They also played a bizarre balloon game, which Caroline #2 assured us would be hysterical. I wouldn’t go that far, but it was pretty funny to see a bunch of adult women (and one man – ?), wearing formal dress, trying to break a balloon by pushing it with their body against their team mate’s behind. Several of the ladies ended up on the floor laughing. Maybe the whiskey wasn’t so bad after all.

Next time, Jacqueline Onassis Sophie rocks some amazing sunglasses!

I like this show a lot, and have to admit, I’m going to miss Caroline #1 when she goes to Dubai. I’m so hoping for a spin-off show.

🍸 Quickie note about Vanderpump Rules, since I watch all of these shows like ten times. Not watch watch, but you know, it’s on in the background. After Lala’s barely there apology for skipping out on Ariana’s birthday, there was that interview where Tom claimed he was good as far as Lala was concerned – maybe forever – meaning he was not good, and she could disappear off the planet, and Ariana was drying glasses like she might kill someone. But then later, she doesn’t seem to care so much. I’m wondering if the two of them are sort of like prosecuting attorneys. They know they’re wrong, but they just can’t admit it.

January 16, 2017 – Julian Presents a Challenge, Katie is Showered, Random Thoughts & MLK Quotes

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Griff tells Julian that he’s doing well. While he checks on the X-rays, Julian calls Alexis and leaves a message. He hears someone come into the room, and assuming it’s Griff, asks how things look. It’s Winston, who tells him it’s not looking very good.

Sonny thinks about his last interaction with Nell. Jason and Sam stop by. He tells them that he’s thinking about the things he has to deal with. Well, it’s not a lie.

Nell confers with Olivia, who tells her to take the rest of the day off. Nell nearly runs into Michael on her way out.

Lulu tells Robin that she’s glad Robin could stay for Maxie’s wedding part two. She gets a text, and says there’s just a minor hiccup.

Nathan asks Nina where Maxie is. Nina says they left her alone for two seconds and she disappeared. Nathan says everyone is showing up any minute, and Nina tells him the surprise is on them.

Maxie is at a ticket window. I assume at the airport, although the airport looks amazingly like GH.

Curtis sees Jordan at the MetroCourt and asks her what’s going on. She tells him about the wedding. He tells her he can help them with the case, but has to do it on his terms, and she has to do him a solid. She says her new shoes hurt, so hurry up with the explanation. He tells her that they’re moving in on the person who caused Morgan’s death, and it’s not Sonny.

Sonny tells Jason and Sam that a luxury cage is still a cage. He’s been thinking about how whoever caused Morgan’s death is still out there. Sam says no one inspected the damage at the pawn shop, and it’s owned by a dummy corporation. Sonny tells them that the trial starts soon, so they have to move fast.

Nell tells Michael about the wedding, and he says he’s there with a tux for Dante. He asks her to join him for some hot chocolate.

Nina tells the others that she did everything as planned, and acted like it was a normal day. Nathan says all of his calls to Maxie have gone to voicemail. Nina adds that everything was fine, but Lulu says apparently not. They decide to check Maxie’s computer.

Maxie asks for a flight to Portland. The desk clerk says over 30 people are on stand-by, and she’s better off going tomorrow. She explains how great Nathan is, how he’s a hot cop who speaks French, and they’re supposed to be on their honeymoon, but she needs to go someplace where her feelings won’t be judged. Hey, she sees Spinelli, but it’s not Spinelli. I’m hoping it’s because the actor got a better gig elsewhere. I’ll miss him.

Nathan finds out that Maxie ordered a car to take he to the airport.

NuSpinelli says she’s not supposed to be there. She says she was at work, but no one showed the slightest bit of sensitivity after the wedding postponement. She wants to see Georgie, but Spinelli tells her that’s not possible right now. When she asks why he’s there, he says he’s doing some work for Sam. He tells her that Ellie is taking Georgie to DisneyWorld in his absence. Maxie asks if that isn’t a milestone, and says she wanted to be the first to take her. She makes for the window again, but Spinelli asks why she’s really fleeing (his word). Maxie says that she doesn’t want to make a sad situation all about her, and is giving Nathan space. Spinelli says he thinks the last thing Nathan would want is space. He’s rented a car, and asks her to let him drive her back. He says Nathan might surprise her.

Sam says she hasn’t had a chance to talk to Julian about the picture, but he seemed genuinely worried. Sonny says he’s partly responsible for Morgan’s death. Sam leaves the room, and Sonny asks Jason how she’s doing. Jason says good, but he’s trying not to worry her. Sonny says Jason took a risk and he appreciates that. He says when it’s over, they need to have a conversation about his role in the business.

Winston tells Julian that Jason and Curtis found the office, and the boss is upset about the expense and the inconvenience. He says they’ve had enough of Jason and to get rid of him – tonight.

Curtis explains about the hidden office to Jordan, and how they’d gotten the information from Buzz. He tells her that a woman calls all the shots. Jordan asks where Buzz is, and Curtis tells her that he’s stashed somewhere safe, but the bottom line is that Sonny is innocent. Jordan says to bring Buzz in and she’ll take his statement.

Winston tells Julian to get rid of Jason. Julian says he’s not killing his daughter’s husband. Winston says up until now, he’s done everything they requested. Julian says there were no requests, he was forced, and he’s done. Griff interrupts with the X-ray results.

Sonny tells Jason there’s no one he trusts more than him. He asks if Jason doesn’t feel like this is where he belongs. Jason says he belongs with his wife and kids. Sonny asks him to just think about it. Sam comes back in and says they’d better get going. Outside, she tells Jason she heard Sonny make him another offer. She knows things change and is with him no matter what. She looks weird, and he asks what’s wrong, but she says it’s nothing.

Michael and Nell go to Perks for hot chocolate. He reminds her of how he followed her there and convinced her to stay. She tells him that staying there has lined up with some of her long-term goals.

Nathan and Dante ask the airline clerk about Maxie, but he’s hesitant to tell them anything. Nathan says it’s not official police business, but when he starts telling the story, the clerk recognizes it, and asks if he speaks French. The clerk tells him that Maxie didn’t buy a ticket, but he heard her talking about going to DisneyWorld.

Spinelli brings Maxi back to the office. She says that if she sees another wedding accessory, she’s going to freak out. Lulu and Robin hold up bouquets, and tell her welcome to her wedding day. Nina tells her that she’s marrying Nathan tonight. She asks if Spinelli knew. He says he did, and Mac is picking up Georgie and Ellie. Maxie says she doesn’t want to force Nathan down the aisle, and Lulu tells her that it was his idea. Nina says Nathan would move mountains, heaven, and earth to be with her.

Dante looks to see if any other airlines are leaving for Atlanta, because that’s where DisneyWord is. Was that a mistake, a joke, what? Unless she was making a connecting flight, she wouldn’t be going there to see Georgie either. Spinelli calls and tells them the bride has been recovered. Sounds like something out of Kill Bill.

Jordan tells Curtis that she doesn’t like the way he went about it, but appreciates his dedication, and maybe she can trust him again. She tells him to bring Buzz in, and he may be worthy of a badge again. He says her trust means a lot, but so does Buzz’s, and wonders if there’s another way.

Julian tells Griff that Winston is his driver. Winston says he thought Julian might need assistance, and Griff tells him he’s free to go. When Griff leaves, Julian tells Winston that he took an unnecessary risk, and Winston says Julian did the same with Jason. Julian says he’s tired of being prisoner of his own life. He had a good life, and lost it because of what they’ve made him do. He tells Winston that it’s not going to happen, so go ahead and kill him. He’s not letting them tear apart his family’s lives the way they’ve torn apart his. He says Winston has made it clear, now he’ll do the same. He’s done, the hell with them, and he’s telling his family everything.

Lulu makes sure all the details are in place. It’s time for Maxie to get ready.

Olivia gives Dante his tux and tells them to get ready. Nathan thanks Dante for having his back and making him feel like a part of the family. He’s honored to have him as best man. They bro hug.

Griff stops by Sonny’s place on the way to the wedding. He asks how Sonny been since he’s homebound, and if he’s found any peace. Sonny says he’s not going to excuse his lifestyle, but it’s good to know it wasn’t his fault. Griff says he’s sure it brought relief to him and Carly. Sonny says it’s helped the healing process, but Griff senses there’s something more. He says something made him go there today, and he can listen. Sonny says he slept with someone other than his wife.

Michael wants to ice skate, but Nell hesitates. She says she actually skates quite well, and could have made it into the Olympics. Coaches cost money though, and her father told her to forget about it, so she did and hasn’t skated since. Michael says he’s sorry, and she says dreams are just dreams, and not everyone can afford to follow them, which she learned at a young age. She says she’ll pass on skating, since it doesn’t have good memories. Michael says if we wallow in pain, it can affect the rest of our lives, and that we should be defined by what we do today. She should let go of the baggage that’s holding her back.

Sonny tells Griff that he was hurting and drinking after Carly left, and heard she kissed her ex. Griff asks who it is. Sonny says someone close to the family who’s getting close with Michael, so this would hurt him too. Griff says he can’t judge him for his actions, but a bunch of Hail Marys probably won’t help him. Sonny wants to know if he should tell the truth.

Winston tells Julian that letting his family know would just put them in the boss’s sights. Julian says he thought he was keeping them safe, but everything he’s been made to do has put them in harm’s way. He thinks maybe the boss should worry about him for a change. Maybe it’s time to turn on the lights. He says when that happens, he’ll be a powerful enemy. He’s done playing. Julian walks out.

Winston calls one of the temp waiters at the wedding. We saw him earlier. Olivia had questioned what he was doing there and Nell said he was a temp she’d hired because they didn’t have enough staff for the restaurant and Maxie’s wedding. I don’t think Nell has anything to do with it though she has her own revenge storyline. Winston tells the waiter that the boss is right; Julian isn’t being cooperative, and they need to go on with the plan. The waiter gets into elevator with Olivia.

At first, I was thinking the boss is going to wreak havoc at the wedding by blowing it up or something, but that really wouldn’t get them very far. Julian isn’t going to be there and he’d totally expose them if that happened. So my next thought is, they’re going to kidnap someone? Sam?

Sam tells Jason that she just needs to take it easy. He asks if she wants to go home. She doesn’t want to miss the wedding, but says that sounds good. The elevator opens and Julian is standing there.

Maxie thanks the girls, saying she treasures all of them. They group hug.

Nell tells Michael that it’s easy to let things go when you grow up in the lap of luxury. He says that’s not fair or accurate. He tells Nell that you have to keep living and trying, and you’ll make it through. She asks how he stays so positive, and he says he doesn’t like the alternative. He says every day he makes one happy memory, so he looks forward and not back. He suggests they rent some skates.

Griff tells Sonny that there are two schools of thought: the truth will set you free, or the damage is already done. Sonny says so either he suffers in silence or bites the bullet, but he doesn’t know which to choose. Griff has to leave, and Sonny walks him to the door, thanking him for stopping by. Griff tells him to think and pray about it, and he’ll know when he knows. Griff, the great philosopher. The next Kahlil Gabran.

Jordan tells Curtis that anything less than Buzz’s statement isn’t good for her. Curtis asks if she’d be comfortable taking it outside of the station. She agrees, and he says he’ll set it up. She asks if he’s okay with this, and he says he trusts her.

Julian says he has to tell Sam something. She says she’s not up for his lies and evasions, but he says the both of them need to hear this.

Winston tells the boss that they’ll send Julian a message that he won’t be able to ignore.

Olivia is on the phone and says, you’re scaring me.

Tomorrow, maybe the surprise wedding happens, Griff asks Anna what happened, Winston says the plans are in motion, and Olivia plans to meet someone at GH.

Vanderpump Rules

Giggy! Harrison! And the rest! ♫ Here on Vanderpump Isle! ♫

In her interview, Lisa says that people say that she’s obsessed with dogs, and they’re right. I knew there was a reason I liked her. Katie stops by with new SUR dress choices and Lisa picks one out. She asks Schwartz and Katie how the birthday trips went. Schwartz loved the fast cars, RV and beer, and Katie says sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder. She invites Lisa to her shower, and Lisa says she’ll be by for a glass of champagne.

Scheana tells Brittany that she heard Jax was a d*ck during the trip. How this would be different from any other time, I’m not sure. In her interview, Brittany says Jax needs to shape up. Right now, her mother likes him, and she wants to keep it that way.

Lala strolls into work, and Tom asks what happened that she never showed up for Ariana’s birthday. She says she’s feeling that she doesn’t want to surround herself with people who aren’t positive and bring out the best in her. When she heard Jax was on the guest list, she got a knot in her stomach. After pointing out that she had plenty of time to say something about it, Tom tells her that he and Ariana have taken a lot of grief in sticking up for her, and she couldn’t even be bothered to answer their texts. She says she’ll be glad to pay them back for the ticket, but he says that’s not the point. Scheana joins them, and basically says the same thing. Lala says she’s sorry, and she has a gift for them if they want it. In his interview, Tom says he’s probably done with Lala forever.

Kristen hosts a comedy show at the Improv. We flash back to Ariana being offended that Kristen was horning in on her territory, and saying that she takes comedy seriously. In her interview, Kristen says that Ariana refuses to come because she might laugh. Kristen’s friend, Gabi, does a bit about an app that turns d*ck pics into classic art to “camouflage” them. In his interview, Jax thinks it’s a low blow that they used one of his pics, but I don’t know if he gets that he made a joke. In his interview, Schwartz says the pic had actually gone viral, and Tom recognized Jax’s shoes. Jax thinks he’d be a good model for sex toys. I will point out again that he’s nearly 40 years old.

Brittany brings the man behind the pic to Stassi’s attention. She’s impressed that Brittany can call out Jax’s penis in a mash-up. Brittany thought it would be nice if they’d given her a heads up and she definitely doesn’t realize she made a joke. Neither does anyone else, and I’m shocked. I’m usually not the one with a 14-year-old boy’s mentality. In her interview, Kristen says you’d be surprised how difficult they are to find, and if you google d*ck pic, all you get are old men politicians in navy blue suits. I’ll take her word for it.

Lisa isn’t thrilled with the paint colors that Katie has picked out for her dining room, saying they look more like something for a nursery. Katie tells Lisa about the comedy show, and explains the app joke. Lisa tells her that it’s like she’s speaking a different language. Katie says it’s not something she’s ever received, and Lisa says her neither, and she feels left out. Katie tells Lisa about Jax’s contribution.

Brittany is annoyed that Jax didn’t cop to the pic at first. He talks to Kristen and tells her that he didn’t appreciate it, and Brittany says she feels hurt. Stassi says the group is very forgiving, so it often doesn’t register that anything would make anyone feel weird. Kristen wonders who hasn’t seen it, and doesn’t get why Brittany doesn’t think it’s funny, because she’s one of the most dense people ever born.

They discuss Lala. Kristen thinks the only one who can actually screw Lala over is James. Lala says she can’t stand him, but he’s on her Snapchat, so Kristen can’t figure out whether the hate is true or fake. In her interview, Stassi says she knows for a fact that Lala is dating a married man, but they need James to confirm it.

Lala visits James. He asks if she wants ice cream, his new vice since giving up drinking. She tells him she’s a grown ass woman and asks if he has liquor. All he has is whiskey. She wonders what happened, since he used to pop a bottle every other second. He says he’s been working on his music, and asks why she didn’t show for Ariana’s birthday trip. Lala says she decided just before leaving that she wasn’t going. She says she spent the weekend at the Beverly Hills Hotel, but insists her mother paid for it. James wonders why he wasn’t invited over. Lala talks about a trip to Malibu and asks if he’d like to come along. They’re taking a helicopter, and he questions the way she travels. Lala is tired of everyone being on her back about her possibly getting things from being on her back. She’s shocked that none of the other girls have ever taken a private jet, saying that no girl who isn’t ugly hasn’t been on one, because that’s LA. I have no words.

James is meeting Kristen and Stassi. Even though she’s a step away from a restraining order, Kristen is willing to take one for the team, if it means screwing over Lala. In his interview, James wonders what they want, since he knows they’re not interested in socializing with him. Kristen tells him that it seems like he’s close with Lala, although Lala talks smack about him. James seems surprised, but says she has been acting strange. They discuss the married boyfriend. He tells them Lala’s boyfriend rented an amazing house for Coachella, but made everyone sign a non-disclosure agreement. They look at it online. James thinks Tom and Ariana signed it, and Stassi has her suspicions since they always defend Lala.

Brittany’s look-alike mom, Sherri, has come to visit. In his interview, Jax says there will be no sex, no drinking, no cursing, and no pooping with the door open. If I was Brittany, I’d have my mom move in. They discuss Florida. Jax says he’s never raising a family in LA, and this leads Sherri to ask if they go to church. He doesn’t like the old-world style, and Sherri suggests he come to her Pentecostal church, which he thinks is some kind of cult. Jax needs to get out more.

A mansion has been rented for Katie’s shower. Scheana has brought baby bottles of tequila for parting gifts and the buffet is $200 worth of Taco Bell. Stassi tells Scheana about the NDA, and she insists that Tom and Ariana would never have signed something like that.

In the car, Brittany suggests that she and Jax might one day have a shower. And she doesn’t mean the kind you take in the bathroom. Sherri tells Jax it would be a shame to waste Brittany’s time, and he tells her that times have changed. He points to Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell. You, Jax, are no Kurt Russell. In his interview, he’s annoyed about the pressure. Ugh! I hate that I’m having to say this, but he’s right. I’m not saying he shouldn’t be making a firm commitment (or not) after a year, but now is not the time. He’s a captive audience, and it’s two against one. Okay. Now back to hating Jax.

Stassi who is wearing difficult to explain dress with sleeves made from spaghetti strap-like strips, that I imagine are a real pita to get into claims that Ariana is working the groomsmen situation for all it’s worth. When she wants to, she hangs out with the guys, but she’s at the shower as well. Stassi says Katie didn’t want her around for a reason. Katie is thrilled with the venue, and can’t wait to be Mrs. Bubba Schwartz. Lisa arrives, which thrills her even more.

The guys go out for Mexican food. Jax tells them how he was verbally accosted the whole way there. In his interview, Schwartz thinks one day Jax will go out for something, and the next time they see him will be his mug shot. Ha-ha!

Lisa asks Sherri how she likes Jax. She says she does, and Lisa wonders if it’s enough to have him as a son-in-law. In her interview, Lisa wonders if she’s met the real Jax. I’m still stumped as to why Brittany is so enamored of him. Sherri says they have to get him to church, and Lisa thinks he’s not ready for that. She hopes he doesn’t break Brittany’s heart. Brittany says if he does, she’ll break something of his. The something we already discussed that was in the picture. Lisa thinks that should be put in the wedding vows. Katie’s mom thanks everyone for coming. Lisa says she loves Katie, and she’s a credit to her mom.

Jax talks about going back to Minnesota. He says that no one tells you that marriage is great, they only tell you not to do it. Schwartz suggests they all go to Minnesota. He says he’s not into the institution of marriage, but he wants Katie to be happy. They toast to marriage being the best new thing is Schwartz’s life.

Stassi thinks she should have waited to break up with Patrick until after the wedding. Hmm… I though he broke up with her. Lisa has brought a blow-up doll in case Katie wants to take a break after 30 years. Its name is Katie. No kidding. It’s on the box. Stassi tells Katie about the meeting with James. They ask Ariana about the NDA. She insists she never saw anything like it, but Stassi thinks she’s exhibiting all of the tell-tale signs of lying. Katie thinks Ariana is picking sides, and brings up some old Lala crap, wondering why Ariana is still defending her. Ariana says her thinking is delusional. In her interview, Stassi says Ariana can’t take responsibility for anything. Katie walks away from the conversation.

Ariana says she doesn’t think what Lala has said is cool, but she’s not killing herself over something someone said. Stassi says they’ve all gotten in fights. Ariana says actually, she’s never gotten in a fight with anyone (huh?). Stassi wonders why she’s even there, and Ariana says she cares about Katie, not Stassi. Stassi follows Katie’s footsteps and leaves the room. Pretty soon, Ariana is going to be talking to herself.

Next time, the bachelorette party, Stassi and Ariana tangle, James gets in another fight at work (yay!), and Jax wears a crown.

Extra Thoughts

🏊 Holy! They didn’t even end the previews for Vanderpump Rules before Summer House started. Or as I call it Zzzzzummer Houzzzzze. What’s really biting my butt is that they’ve moved Timber Creek Lodge to 8 p.m. This wouldn’t be so bad, except I watch something else at 8, and Bravo doesn’t rerun it until 2:30 a.m.! Is it really necessary to see the other shows three times before showing TCL a second time? BTW, Stassi should thank her lucky stars that Kyle was insulting and she got turned off. He is nobody’s idea of a good catch – or shouldn’t be anyway. He claims Montauk is like DisneyWorld for adults, and that you never know how or where you’ll wake up. First of all, those aren’t qualities that I would assign DisneyWorld, not to mention that I’m sure the city of Montauk thanks you, and secondly, no, just no. Watching these people drink makes my stomach turn.

✍ Just a footnote: I saw Ariana on Watch What Happens Live, and she mentioned that one of the girls claimed she had a superiority complex, and this is far from the truth. In watching Vanderpump Rules a second time, think of that buzzer sound when they get the question wrong on Family Feud. She acts very superior. Like she’s above it all. Constantly. I believe she thinks she’s being mature in some way, but it’s never a bad thing to be polite. Lecture over.

Quotes for MLK Day

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.

 The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

 Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.

                                                                                         – Martin Luther King, Jr.

 

January 9, 2017 – Who is GH’s Lady Boss, Vanderpump Slides into Summer House, Random Atlanta Thoughts & My Dogs’ Birthday

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Kiki and Dillon are back in Port Charles, having never made it to LA. Dillon wants to celebrate the way they did New Year’s Eve, whatever that means, but Kiki wants to brush her teeth for an hour. It seems they were stuck in Detroit for quite a while, and had problems getting back.

Scotty meets with Franco at the dive bar. He says Franco has a good motive for killing Tom, and Franco thanks him for his support. Franco asks when the print test is coming back from the knife. Scotty wonders if Franco’s prints will be on it.

Laura tells Elizabeth that she had a great time skating with the kids. Doc twisted his ankle while showing off though. She says the boys were amused, but also couldn’t stop taking about Franco.

Franco tells Scotty that Tom could have taken the knife, but even if his own prints are on it, it doesn’t make him guilty.

Jason asks Buzz what the name of Winston’s boss is. He doesn’t know, and didn’t get a good look at her, but remembers her voice. She told Winston to kill the homeless loser who planted the bomb.

Omg, could it be Helena??? I’ve never believed for a moment that she’s really dead. I don’t think Nicholas is really dead either. We haven’t seen the boss’s face yet, but she’s dressed in a kimono, wearing a lot of jewelry, and those don’t look like young hands. Winston tells the boss that Jason has found the homeless man.

Alexis can’t find her vodka and freaks. Julian shows her the empty bottles. He says he emptied everything out, including what she had hidden in the laundry room. She tells him he had no right to do that, but he says he’s trying to stop her from killing herself or someone else.

Kiki tells Dillon that Franco isn’t home. She thinks a bath in disinfectant followed by a bleach shower would be great, and then lots of food. They talk about what happened on the bus, and Dillon asks if the kiss changed anything.

Buzz wants to jet, and asks “Father Curtis” for a special blessing. Curtis asks about the woman’s voice, and Jason asks him to repeat what he told them. Buzz says that he realized Winston had lied, and that he didn’t plant a GPS, but a bomb that killed an innocent kid – Sonny’s kid. He realized his life was over, and went to the pawn shop to confront Winston. Curtis wonders how he got in and out with no notice, when it’s under surveillance 24/7.

Julian tells Alexis he loves her too much to allow her to ruin her life. He says she’s going to drink herself to death or have another accident, and asks how she’d feel if she killed an innocent stranger. She flashes back to struggling with Tom in the alleyway. Julian asks what’s wrong.

Scotty tells Franco that the police are going to build a case and arrest him, and what they need is an alibi. Franco is annoyed that Scotty isn’t believing him, but Scotty says it’s like the chicken or the egg, and wants to know what Franco was doing that night.

Elizabeth tells Laura that she heard about Charlotte being her granddaughter. Laura says as far as Lulu is concerned, the custody hearing can’t happen fast enough. Elizabeth says if she needs any help, to let her know. Laura says the boys seem convinced that Franco is going to be a big part of their lives, but she’s not getting the same vibe from Elizabeth.

Alexis tells Julian that she’s not staying while he stages a one-man intervention. Julian tells her she’s making a mistake.

Winston promises the boss that he’ll find Buzz, and says that if Buzz was going to the police, he would have done it already. He tells her that he has more bad news.

Buzz tells Jason and Curtis that he can’t reveal anything, but Curtis promises they won’t rat him out. Buzz tells them there’s a network of catacombs under Port Charles, and that’s how he gets in and out of the pawn shop without anyone seeing. He says Winston and the boss have a secret office in the tunnels.

Alexis asks if Julian is going to hold a knife to her throat to stop her. She says he’ll have to catch her first, and she’s pretty sure she can outrun a guy with a cane. He says she’s why he’s using the cane in the first place. D’oh! He asks her to just go twelve hours without a drink. She calls an Uber.

Elizabeth asks if Laura judges her, but Laura says that everyone is capable of doing good or harm, and good people can make wrong choices. She says everyone deserves a second chance, even Franco. Elizabeth says she doesn’t know the whole story.

Franco tells Scotty he was locked in a metal dog crate. Immediately Scotty thinks he and Elizabeth were getting freaky, but Franco explains that Tom put him there. Franco says it makes sense, since he put Tom in first. Now Scotty is going to think it’s even more freaky. Ha-ha!

Dillon tells Kiki if it was just a New Year’s Eve kiss, that’s cool. Kiki tells him that when he was sleeping, she started to think about her life. She’ll always feel guilty for Morgan’s death, but she can focus on it or turn it into something useful. She could volunteer at the hospital or go back to school and help people with mental issues. Dillon says Morgan would like that. Kiki still wants to shower, and says Dillon could order food while she’s in there. He suggests they shower together to save water, but that’s a no.

Winston tells the boss lady that Jason and Sam have become suspicious. The boss spills hot tea on him. Purposely.

Jason offers to set Buzz up out of town. Curtis says he has a friend in Baltimore and will let him know Buzz is coming, and Jason gives him some money to get there. Buzz tells them to watch their step; these people aren’t messing around. He leaves, and Jason asks Sam what she found out. She says Julian lied, telling her that he just buys stuff from Winston, but she could tell he’s scared. She also believes he has nothing to do with the car bomb.

Alexis tells Julian that he isn’t the worst part of her day. He tells her that she’s become dependent on alcohol or she’d take his challenge. He asks her to do it for her children and herself, for the career she wants back and her self-respect. She says he took her self-respect from her. He agrees, and says if she’s broken, he understands it’s his fault and that her only comfort is in a bottle. He says he owes it to her to save her life. She says save her or kill her, pick one. He says she has a lot to process right now, and she tells him not to patronize her. He says he’s not, but understands wanting to block the rest of the world out. Alexis flashes back to Tom again. She struggles with him and he throws her down. He tells her if she does it again, she’s dead, and pulls out the knife. In the present, Alexis goes to the door, and Julian says if she leaves he’s staging a real intervention.

Elizabeth tells Laura about Tom’s parole and how the police suspect Franco of his murder.

Scotty tells Franco it’s false imprisonment. Franco says he was just keeping Tom until after his parole meeting. Scotty says that’s OCD thinking, and Franco says he came to his senses, but then Tom turned the tables on him. Scotty says he believes him, but his alibi could put him in prison. Franco says his only hope is finding the real killer. He tells Scotty what the bartender told him. Scotty wonders if he greases the bartender more, if he’d talk more. Scotty says he has bupkis, but Franco says he also ran into Alexis at the bar.

Sam tells Jason and Curtis that Julian seemed genuinely scared of Winston, and she thinks he’s afraid for them. She thinks Julian was the target, and Winston was responsible for Morgan’s death. They wonder who the boss is.

Winston is like it’s all good, and tells lady boss that he’ll take care of Jason.

Alexis dismisses the Uber and goes back in. She tells Julian that her friends and family would never listen to him. He asks why she didn’t leave then. She says Sam is pregnant and it would stress her out, but Julian says it’s more stressful to have a drunk as a mother. He tells her that it’s only a matter of time before they find out. He says she’s lost her license and isolated herself; how long before she has nobody? Alexis says he should know. Julian wishes she could be the independent woman he fell in love with. He says she’s so desperate, she can’t help herself, much less anyone else. She says he wants her to be drunk so he can keep control. He tells her that she’s not just losing the people she knows, but the entire world; all the people she’s helped or would be able to help will be deprived of their champion.

Franco tells Scotty that Alexis made up an excuse for being at the bar, but she was beyond nervous. Scotty says she’s been off since Julian’s trial, and they need to find out who the woman was who Tom was drinking with. Franco asks to borrow Scotty’s tablet, and they have an amusing conversation about Facebook. Scotty gets an alert that the fingerprint analysis is back.

Jason asks if Julian mentioned who Winston might be working for, but Sam says no, and reiterates that he seemed scared. Curtis and Jason decide to go to the pawn shop via the tunnels. Sam Is hesitant, but Jason says that now she and the kids are in danger, and Curtis says if they’re smart, they won’t be risking their lives.

Kiki and Dillon chow down on Italian, Mexican and Chinese food. They kiss. Geez, I didn’t even get a warning.

Elizabeth tells Laura that maybe she’s being naïve, but she believes Franco. Even if he didn’t kill Tom though, he carried out his own brand of justice. She says he fixed it, but Tom turned up dead. Laura asks if she can live with what Franco did do. Elizabeth says she can, but he’s pulled away. Until the real murderer is found, he wants to keep his distance. Her heart wants to stay by his side, but her head says that’s crazy. Laura says they’re all flawed people and only she can decide if the good in Franco outweighs the bad.

There are no fingerprints on the knife. Franco says that doesn’t exactly clear him, but seems more upset that Scotty hasn’t friended him. Franco suggests he look for the hashtag of the roadhouse, thinking there might be photos that include Tom and the mystery woman.

Julian has gotten a load of DVDs and food to distract Alexis. He hands her a knife, and she flashes back again. She tells Tom that he isn’t the first guy who’s held a knife to her throat, and gets the knife from him, saying he messed with the wrong person. Back at the house, Alexis freaks out, saying she needs a drink. Julian asks what’s wrong, and she wails about what she’s done.

Curtis and Jason lurk around the tunnels and open a door.

There’s a knock at Kiki’s door, and she thinks it must be dessert. Instead, it’s Elizabeth looking for Franco. Kiki says she just got in, but he’s not there. She says she’ll tell Franco that Elizabeth came by, but Elizabeth wants to surprise him. When she’s gone, Dillon tells Kiki that it’s the same dance they’ve been doing for months, and it’s the fear of jumping into a relationship. He says they should wait for what happens next; no pressure.

Scotty can’t find any pictures from December 21st. He thinks they should wait and find another server who might know something. Franco sees a picture where Tom and Alexis are sitting together at a booth in the background.

Alexis tells Julian that she was outside of the roadhouse. She was drunk and did something. She killed someone.

Tomorrow, Diane asks Sonny what he knows, a fire starts in the tunnels, and Alexis confesses to Julian.

Vanderpump Rules

Oh, I get it. The reason there’s a two-hour show on tonight is because they’re introducing Stassi’s new one, Summer House. It looks like they’ll probably slide into it the way they did with The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills slipping into Vanderpump Rules with the latter’s first episode.

Stassi is amazed that she’s not hung over and feeling “chipper.” Who uses that word? Maybe Kathy Gifford. Stassi and Katie discuss the night before. In her interview, Stassi says she’s not ready for another relationship, but wouldn’t mind a guy to distract her from the breakup with Patrick, who she was with for two years. They talk about how to approach a new guy.

Meanwhile, at Sonoma Raceway, the RV is starting to smell on day two. Ariana says they’re barely clinging to their humanity. Geez, two days out of LA and it’s Lord of the Flies. Brittany tells Jax that he’s making her insane. How this is different from their everyday life, I’m not sure. In his interview, Schwartz says that Jax and Brittany need a time out. He tries to take pix of Jax while he’s in the shower. Tom suggests that Jax might want to stop picking on Brittany before he finds himself single again.

In her interview, Kristen says she’s heard that Montauk is WASP-y, and since wasps suck, she hopes Montauk doesn’t suck. She’s not joking either. Is LA this out of touch with the rest of the world, or is she really this stupid? Stassi has to look up clambake, so they understand the difference between that and a luau. I repeat my previous question. Scheana asks what if they don’t like clams, and is told to take one for the team.

Ariana’s group is ready for the NASCAR race, and Tom gets some autographs. The only racing guy I know is Jeff Gordon, but I don’t think he even races anymore. Schwartz takes a poll as to which of the girls are willing to flash their boobs, and Jax points out for the billionth time that he paid for Brittany’s. Ariana suggests she find a new boyfriend. That’s got my vote.

Stassi and Katie lounge on the porch, and Stassi says they look like an old married couple. Katie has gotten some texts from Lisa and gives her a call. Lisa gives Katie a list of things that they need to work on, but tells her they can meet when Katie gets back. Katie is a little annoyed that Lisa didn’t wish her a happy birthday. Well, Lisa is at work.

Tom and Ariana kiss on the Ferris Wheel, while Jax harasses them. Ariana says it’s the best trip ever, and too bad for Lala who couldn’t be bothered to make it.

The clambake happens, but it’s not like the one in Oklahoma! There are linens on the table, everyone is dressed like they’re going not to the beach, and they’re sipping white wine. Stassi is glad for the well-dressed, attractive men who aren’t like the ones she met at the bar last night. Scheana informs everyone that she doesn’t really eat fish, but it doesn’t matter because someone just brought out a magnum of rosé. Everyone wonders how to eat a lobster. Some guy takes a selfie with a lobster. In her interview, Scheana says she’s not eating anything with claws because a cat has claws, and she wouldn’t eat a cat. Sigh…  Stassi is embarrassed about Scheana’s whining. I’m embarrassed about Scheana period.

Ariana and company watch the race. They have VIP tickets, so the view is pretty good. I’d call it a bird’s-eye view, but that sounds like the one I had at the Elton John concert in 1970whatever, when I had to sit in mountain goat territory. Tom calls to get the toilet tank flushed out and the guys sing a song about saving poop, making me eternally glad that I don’t know these people. Schwartz thinks it’s Jax’s fault for his excessive use of toilet paper. In her interview, Brittany says Jax needs to grow up and respect her. Good luck with that. And for those who don’t know this, when I say that, what I really mean is, all the luck in the world won’t save you.

Small talk is made at the clambake. Somebody gets nosy, asking Stassi about her breakup, but she really doesn’t want to cry. In her interview, she says it’s extra hard because her family and friends like Patrick, and she usually dates a-holes. Katie thinks Stassi needs some tough love, even if it’s just going to second base. Stassi thinks they should have perhaps gotten real careers. One of the guys makes fun of her for being on a dating app, although I’m not sure why. Isn’t that how people date now? They toast to being in Montauk.

If I have to see Jax’s butt crack one more time, I’m going to go out of my mind. The group goes out to eat, and I am loving Ariana’s earrings. They’re huge crescents with leaf-shaped rhinestones in various shades of green attached to them. Tom calls Jax an a-hole, and asks Brittany how she feels about him ordering her around, but he says he supports her lifestyle and no one can tell him how to deal with his relationship. Tom tells him gifts aren’t leverage. Jax thinks he’d love being in Brittany’s place. I guess he must like being embarrassed. Brittany is feeling stupid, but Tom tells her nothing Jax says is making her look bad. In his interview, Jax says when he started dating Brittany, he loved that she wasn’t from LA, but she seems to be adapting and he doesn’t like it. Hmm… By that, I assume he means she has independent thoughts. To be honest, I get what he’s saying about supporting her. When one person is paying all the bills, the other one needs to pinch in the other departments like cleaning and cooking, but it’s his delivery that’s obnoxious, and it doesn’t mean you can demand whatever whenever. He might need to learn the hard way that his POV is not acceptable.

Ariana tells everyone that Lala isn’t following her on social media anymore, and wonders why she’s being iced out. She says she can be a bitch too and unfollows Lala. Oh. Horrors. Schwartz says a line has been drawn in the sand. Not one episode of this show goes by without me thinking about how much more mature my friends and I were at this age. Is technology the problem? All of the above?

In her interview, Lala talks about herself in the third person, and says she was in shut-down mode. Harrison! Lisa tells Lala she can do what she wants with her time off, but she doesn’t get why Lala didn’t show up for Ariana’s birthday. Lala makes noises about Jax being irritating, although she knew that before. Lisa reads my mind and wonders why Lala said she’d go in the first place. Lala starts to cry, telling Lisa that everyone is saying she’s a homewrecker. In her interview, Lisa says she doesn’t know if it’s true – she hopes not – but Lala should have more respect for herself. Lala says she makes stuff up about her boyfriend to get them off her back and give them something to talk about. One day she’s dating the pope and the next, a baseball player. She thinks of it as an acting exercise. Lisa explains that when someone is caught in a lie, no one knows how much to invest in them. In her interview, Lisa says Lala likes to create a situation, but then act like a baby girl, and life doesn’t work like that. Lala says she thinks it might be best for her to walk away from “this workplace.” Because actually telling the truth and dealing with real life is too hard.

Lisa asks what’s wrong with her, and thinks she should grow up and deal with it. Thank you, Lisa the Amazing Kreskin of Beverly Hills. She asks if Lala thinks everyone is going to be her friend if she ends up being successful in films. Lala admits that she’s in charge of her own emotions. Lisa tells Lala that if she quits, she’s going to give a lot of people satisfaction. Lala wishes they’d had this conversation a while ago, and Lisa thinks Lala should have had this conversation with her mother long ago. In her interview, Lala says that Lisa makes sense and decides not to quit yet.

Stassi’s name has to be explained to empty-headed, but good-looking Kyle. The girls visit the twins’ rental house. They claim it’s like going to Lisa’s, but hardly. It’s big, but could probably fit in Lisa’s bathroom. Everyone gets a drink and the twins (Ashley and Lauren) show them around. In her interview, Kristen says maybe she’s in the wrong business. Maybe she should be in…business. I’m not kidding. She really said that. Kyle drinks directly from the blender, and tells Carl that he likes Stassi.

Ariana and Brittany rehash Jax’s remarks. Ariana has to explain what misogynistic means to Brittany. The absolute definition is Jax. The guys build a fire outside, and Ariana asks Brittany what she’s going to do if Jax doesn’t change.

Commercial break. Giggy! RHOBH looks really good this week. Game night, including Kim Richards. Duck, run, and then look through your fingers like it’s a horror film.

It’s time to get in the pool in Montauk. Along with more drinking. Ashley lets Stassi know that Kyle is interested in her.

In Sonoma, Jax asks Brittany if she’s having fun. She tells him that she is, other than his ‘tude, which she doesn’t appreciate, but he thinks she’s exaggerating. In his interview, he says he pays for everything, so it would be nice to have lunch ready sometimes. Brittany tells him that she’s tired of him holding her boob job over her head, and says she does a lot for him too. She says she appreciates what he does for her, but that doesn’t mean he can just do or say whatever he wants. He says he’ll try harder, but the occasional turkey sandwich would be nice.

Kyle is pretty sh*tfaced, and tells Stassi he appreciates her New York fashion. She’s wearing a white bathing suit that has a turtleneck type collar, and her hair in an Audrey Hepburn updo. Katie says Stassi should ask herself what would Lala do? More drinks happen in the kitchen. Tequila Katie arrives (i.e. Katie’s other personality when she drinks too much). Scheana worries that Schwartz isn’t there to put Tequila Katie in her place. Whatever that means. Lots of confusing statements today.

Kyle and Stassi are still in the pool. He tells her that she’s “well put together.” He asks if she’s single, and she says for about a week. He suggests they embrace it. We flash back to how very much liquor this dude has put away. He asks Stassi what her name is again. He says something about her being female and hot, but a turtleneck and Steve Jobs are involved. I have no idea where this conversation is going. Stassi wants to give him lessons on how to make a girl feel special, one of which is not telling them they’re like Steve Jobs in a turtleneck. He says something about her nipple and it all goes south quickly.

Everyone gets back in the pool, and there are too many people to keep track of. Stassi tells the girls that she’s never been more turned off by anyone in her life. Kyle shoves chips in his mouth. The twins say he’s a good guy, but an idiot when he’s drunk. Stassi says he made her want to call her ex. Well, that certainly backfired. Kyle jumps into the pool.

Everyone goes back inside, and Kristen tries to find out what the blip Kyle said to Stassi. One of the other guys explains that when Kyle drinks, he does slow moves and a lot of pointing, like a Ken doll doing tai chi under water. Kyle apologizes to Stassi, and she basically calls him a douche. She suggests he remember a girl’s name if he wants to get lucky. She asks him what her name is, and he can’t come up with it. The SUR girls go back to their own place. Kyle says even though he struck out, he’s learned that after 12 glasses of rosé, he should probably STFU. No argument from me. He eats watermelon alone in the kitchen.

Omg! Omg! An infinity pool! I want to swim in one so badly. The next day, everyone wakes up with a hangover, and some of them have to drive home because they have “real” jobs. As opposed to Steve Jobs. We seem to have swung into the next show.

Blah-blah-blah, NYC, hot and smelly in the summer.

Obviously, my jury is still out on Summer House, but I have the feeling that my opinion is going to be, meh, and a waste of time. I already think Kyle is a total d-bag and when Stassi is the best thing about a show, that’s just sad. I’ll be watching, but not so sure I’ll be recapping.

Okay, after watching almost the entire first episode, the whole thing is just sad. And no permanent Stassi. Just the twins, that moron Kyle, and whoever else the other interchangeable people are. Unless some Vanderpump fixtures join the cast, this is going to be a if-there’s-nothing-better-on show.

🌃 The good news is, Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce begins it’s new season on Wednesday, January 11, at 10 pm. This is also the birthday of six of my dogs, who will be ten this year!

Juliet&HerBabies

👠 Just some thoughts on The Real Housewives of Atlanta. I feel sad that Kenya’s relationship with Matt ultimately didn’t work out, but better to find out what he’s like now. Phaedra, wtf, talking so much smack about Kandi? And here comes Porsha to add her own definition of things by telling Kandi she’s becoming “unleashed” about it. Um…I think the word is unhinged. Alhtough I’m not sure why I always expect more from someone who thought the Underground Railroad was a real railroad.

Sheree continues to tease Bob, meeting him for some kind of extreme workout that neither one of them could seem to accomplish. Cynthia graciously went to an event of Peter’s, and he described her as looking like “an ice cream cone,” driving him crazy with her va-va-voom. As much as I can’t stand Peter, I had to agree with him. She looked like she’d been poured into a gorgeous white dress, and totally delicious! Unfortunately, Kenya was also attending, and Matt ambushed her, punching her driver and then taking off. Not cool. Next week, it doesn’t look much better, with Matt busting out some windows in Kenya’s new home. Looks like it’s restraining order time. In her interview, Kenya cried, saying what a shame it was when Matt had such potential. My heart broke for her. I like Kenya and I have every confidence that she’ll eventually find the right guy. But in the meantime, there’s those frogs to deal with.

And why do they advertise next week’s new episode when we’re not done with this week’s episode yet?

January 3, 2017 – Connections are Made in PC, Pantigate Continues in BH, HAHN Returns & a London Quote

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Lulu and Dante take New Year’s Eve (Day? whatever) selfies, and Lulu comes across a picture of Charlotte. She tells Dante that they have to get her away from Valentin.

Valentin carries Nina over the threshold.

Alexis is passed out after drinking an entire bottle of a vodka brand I’ve never heard of. Sam tries to call, but there’s no answer.

Sam is concerned about Alexis not picking up. She tells Jason that it’s not like her to not answer this late. They decide to check on her.

Someone bangs on Elizabeth’s door. Well, I doubt it’s a criminal. They usually don’t knock like that. Make that debatable, since it’s Franco. He wants to talk. Elizabeth wants to know about the murder weapon and asks if the knife is his. He tells her it is.

Carly tells Sonny she can’t do this. He asks what’s wrong. She says she has to go, and he tells her not to start the new year by running away. She says she shouldn’t have come. When he asks why she did, she tells him that she got worried about life being short and wanted to spend time with him, but his business is his business and nothing has changed. He asks her to stay.

Franco tells Elizabeth that most likely, Tom took the knife when he took off, but his own prints and DNA are probably all over it, and they’re going to think he did it. Elizabeth says that he should be talking to Scotty. He asks if she believes he didn’t kill Tom Baker.

Julian tries to wake Alexis. Sam knocks at the door. Alexis struggles to wake up.

Nina asks Valentin if he’s been married before. He says she’s his first and only. She says she was married twice – the first time she was young and foolish, and the second, just foolish. He tells her the third time is the charm. She says they’re going to make it work for Charlotte.

Lulu thanks Dante for being so supportive, and tells him that they have to win in court.

Valentin tells Nina that Charlotte will love having her as a mom. Nina says that Lulu isn’t going to like it. She wants Charlotte all to herself, but she’s going to lose. Valentin says he doesn’t want to spend their wedding night talking about Lulu. He kisses Nina’s hand and says it deserves a beautiful ring. She tells him the ribbon ring that she has is priceless, and she’s never letting it go. They get all hot and steamy, and by that I don’t mean they’re taking a shower, but it does make me wonder how that “ring” is going to hold up in one.

Sam starts to let herself in, and Alexis meets Sam and Jason at the door. She tells them it’s late, and she’d silenced her phone. Sam says they need to talk to her. Now. Sam and Jason walk into the house past her. Hmm…looks like Julian cleaned the place up. Sam sees Alexis’s phone and tells her there’s three missed calls. Alexis says she can’t respond to calls she didn’t know about. Sam tells her that she has to be careful. She starts to say something else, and then asks if Alexis has been drinking. She probably stinks to high heaven.

Sonny asks Carly why they can’t reconnect. She says it’s happening too fast. Sonny tells her that he knows he’s put them through a lot, but deep down she knows they belong together. She tells him that she loves him, and he asks what she really wants. If her doubts and fears were gone, would she stay? She says she wants to. They kiss.

Franco tells Elizabeth that he didn’t kill Tom, and asks if she believes him. She says he locked Tom in a dog crate, and why shouldn’t she think he did something worse? And this was after he promised he wouldn’t go near Tom, not to mention their public fight. Franco says it’s a far cry from murder, and he’s not that guy. He says after Tom left, he had a life-altering experience and there’s no way the person he is now would do that. Elizabeth asks what happened.

Lulu worries about Charlotte liking Nina so much. She admits to being jealous, but what really concerns her is the bond between Nina and Valentin. Dante drinks to Nathan talking sense into his sister. Lulu says that Nina looked her straight in the eye and said Charlotte loves “us,” like she and Valentin were a couple. Dante asks why they were talking about Charlotte in the first place, and Lulu tells him that she might have mentioned she was going to fight for sole custody.

Valentin tells Nina now that they’ve consummated the marriage, there’s no backing out. He asks if she’d like to join him in the shower. She tells him he promised they’d go out for a New Year and wedding celebration, and she’s holding him to it. He goes into the bathroom, and she sees a gun when she’s moving his clothing around. Well, I don’t think it would be weird for him to have one.

Franco tells Elizabeth that when he was unconscious, he had visions of her and Sam and even himself. She asks what they were all saying, and he says it was what he needed to hear; he has to come to terms with who he’s become after the tumor was removed. He says he’s not a monster but not a particularly good person either; not as good as he thinks he is. He’s decided he should be better, better because of her. He wants to tell her how he feels about her, and she says she knows he loves her.

Alexis says yes, she was drinking, but she’s had a crap year, her life is a trash fire, and it was New Year’s Eve. She says she got hammered and finally got some sleep. It was a one-time thing, but she felt entitled. Sam says she was worried, but she’s glad Alexis is fine. Alexis asks what the dire situation is about.

Jason asks if she knows Winston, and Sam adds that they know he was there. Jason shows her a picture, and Alexis says he wanted to talk to Julian.

Sonny and Carly get busy.

Lulu tells Dante about the scuffle with Nina, and he tells her that she needs to stay away from Nina. Lulu asks how she’s supposed to do that, since she’s Maxie’s matron of honor. He says she can’t get into another fight with Nina, because it will make her look bad in court. Lulu asks how it could since she’s fighting Valentin.

Valentin tells Nina that she seems quiet. She says she has a lot to think about, starting with the gun she found, explaining that she wasn’t snooping, just cleaning up. Valentin says he doesn’t advertise it, but he’s licensed to carry it. She says she doesn’t like guns, and he says sometimes they’re a necessity. He hasn’t lived a blameless life, and it’s just a precaution. He promises he’ll never let her or Charlotte come into harm’s way. He tells her that he’s never let his guard down except for her.

Elizabeth reminds Franco about telling her that she’s the woman he loves when they were at the hospital, but it got lost in the confusion of his almost arrest. He says he does love her, and that he’s going to tell her about the ghosts of the past, present and future that talked to him. He tells her that he’s never going to lie to her, especially about something that matters, and asks if she believes him.

Alexis tells Jason that Winston thought she and Julian were still together, but she gave him Ava’s information and he left. She says he told her something about working with Julian and not for him. She wonders how Jason knew he’d been at her house, and Jason says he’d had Winston followed. Alexis has questions, but Sam says it’s late. She tells Alexis to watch out, and Jason tells her to call if Winston comes back. They leave, much to Alexis’s relief. She asks Julian about Winston, and then says screw this, she doesn’t want to know, just keep him away. She’s going out, and Julian tells her not to go drinking. She tells him what she does is none of his business, and to keep Winston out of her house.

Carly and Sonny bask in the afterglow. Carly says that Sonny owes Michael and Sam a thank you. He asks if they told her that “Sonny is great,” and she says no, but they did tell her to trust and believe in their marriage. She tells him Nell is on his side too. He says there’s something he has to tell her. Oy.

Elizabeth tells Franco that she believes him. He says that he knows the other stuff bothers her, and she says it’s a lot to process. He did something extreme, and then claims he’s changed. Franco says anyone can say that, but it takes time to really change. He tells her that ironically, he’s going to go down for Tom’s murder instead of anything he’s really done. He says no matter how he strives to change, there’s a possibility that he won’t be with her for her to see it. He says before this, he would have tried to convince her to run away, but it’s time to face reality. He might lose the best thing that’s ever happened to him.

Lulu tells Dante that Nina is an outsider to this and always will be. Dante suggests they go home. On their way out, they run into Valentin and Nina. Valentin asks if they want to join them for a drink. He and Nina have news.

Sonny tells Carly that when they lost Morgan, he couldn’t see through his own pain and didn’t want to. She turned him away, but he doesn’t blame her for anything and is sorry his actions kept them apart when they needed each other. Carly says she’s sorry for punishing him, and he says he doesn’t want her to apologize for anything. They both said and did things they shouldn’t have. She tells him to stop. They’re here together now, and it makes sense to her.

Sam and Jason go back to the MetroCourt. Sam is concerned about Alexis’s drinking. Jason says maybe Winston was there looking for Julian, but somehow, he’s connected to Morgan’s death.

Julian texts Winston saying his daughter and son-in-law are suspicious. The reply text says, “we know.”

Alexis goes to the dive bar. The bartender says last time she was there on December 21st, she stiffed him, and maybe she wants to take it easy tonight. Alexis looks surprised.

Carly tells Sonny that she’s going to stay the night. Sonny asks what about tomorrow. She tells him that she loves and misses him, but it’s all undecided. He says that he’s grateful for tonight. She says she is too.

Valentin tells Lulu and Dante that he and Nina are married. Lulu says that’s absurd, and he tells her that’s sweet (I laugh), but it’s all legal. They explain how they used the priest from Maxie’s wedding that didn’t happen. Valentin says it’s going to do Charlotte a world of good. Lulu implies that he tricked Nina, but Nina tells her that she’s being insulting, and she’s the one who asked Valentin.

Sam asks Jason what he’s thinking. Jason wonders how Winston didn’t know that Alexis and Julian were divorced. Something doesn’t add up.

Julian gets a text from Winston saying they’ll take care of it. He asks what Winston means by that, and what is he going to do?

Franco tells Elizabeth that he’s not giving up, but maybe until the police come up with another lead, they shouldn’t see each other. He says he’s not a praying man, but he’s going to pray this isn’t the end for them, and that the truth comes out.

Alexis suddenly remembers the night she was there. And seeing Tom again. Ohhhh….

Tomorrow, Alexis wants to confess something to Diane, Anna wants Andre to help her find out the truth, and Nina wonders what will happen when Claudette comes back.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Please, God, can we stop talking about Erika’s lack of underwear? Hmm…maybe she left them in Lala’s Range Rover.

Erika has been working on her new video, Expensive. She talks to her assistant, or whoever he is, about the underwear that Dorit gave her. In her interview, she asks again why PK didn’t say something about it at the time. She thinks that Dorit is the type of woman who takes the fun out of hanging out with women. I don’t know what’s more annoying, the relentlessness of the topic or her ignorance as to why a man who doesn’t know her well would rather mention it to his wife than directly to her. Although, I guess she thinks he should have said something to his wife immediately? Omg, I can’t believe I’m even going on about this.

Dorit and PK are having a dinner party. LisaR has been invited, since she’s by herself while the rest of the family is off doing work things. Wow. Lisa is wandering around with a bottle in one hand and a glass of wine in the other. Apparently, she was met at the door with a drink, but you’d think someone would have relieved her of the hostess gift. No surprise, the food looks fabulous. I’ve always been an adventurous eater, so I get obsessed with the food at these parties.

LisaR talks about her apology to LisaV. PK tells her that there’s an old saying that you can’t put your head on someone else’s shoulders. I like it. Some guy named Elliot puts his two cents in, and it’s very poetic, but neither LisaR nor I understand anything that he’s saying. In her interview, Lisa thinks that someone filled PK in on the conflict since he knows more than she’s told him. NOOO! We flash back to the origination of the conflict, where LisaR used the M-word. Lisa mentions that her father had recently passed away, and PK suggests that might have influenced her perception. In her interview, Lisa isn’t liking that he’s analyzing how she feels, although I think he’s just trying to be nice. IMO, everyone is reading way too much into everything.

Lisa tells everyone that Eileen has lost six people in her family in the past year, and never told anyone about her mother dying just prior to the reunion. Lisa knew, but by some miracle never told anyone. PK doesn’t think Eileen’s silence was fair to the others, and Dorit agrees, but Lisa tells them it was survival for her. In her interview, Lisa thinks it’s odd that they’re giving their opinion on how anyone else should grieve, and I have to agree with her on that.

Mauricio has gotten a speeding ticket in the mail from driving with Alexia in the Ferrari. 600 Euros, whatever that adds up to. So is he supposed to send cash in an envelope to Italy or what? Kyle figures that he was driving about 112 miles an hour, and threatens to cut something off if it happens again. Here’s a hint – it’s not his arm. She says it’s been a real adjustment with the two of them working in different places on the planet lately.

Eileen, who is wearing the most magnificent dress ever in the opening credits, talks about Vince having been a tennis pro, which I had forgotten. He placed 25th, which is probably millions ahead of me. She tells Vince that she got a text from LisaR telling her all about the dinner party, and what Dorit and PK’s opinions were in regard to her keeping her mother’s death to herself. She doesn’t get why they’re judging her behavior, or how they linked it to the conflict with LisaV when her mother passed away after that. She thinks they’re trying to justify LisaV’s behavior.

Harrison! En route to somewhere, LisaV and Kyle go through whose husband might be shaggable, but Kyle asks why she’d downgrade. They arrive at a skincare facility, where Kyle gets a laser treatment on her face. After Kyle is finished, Lisa gets some kind of neck thing done, and they discuss vaginal rejuvenation. One of the assistants brings out a “probe” that looks like a huge laboratory test tube, and I don’t even want to know. Neither does Lisa, btw.

Erika and LisaR go to a Pilates studio run by Vidal Sassoon’s daughter. They use the machines, and it looks difficult. In her interview, Erika says that people think just because you have money, you don’t have to work hard to look good. I’ve never thought that, but I think it does give you more options. Afterwards, they stroll over to where Lisa first met Harry – Optical Connection. How romantic.

Dorit meets Eileen for a walk on the beach. It doesn’t happen though, because it’s windy and Eileen is wearing a dress. Which is what I always wear for a walk on the beach. In her interview, Dorit thanks Eileen for wearing underwear. Eileen invites Dorit out to Malibu for lunch with Camille Grammer, and they discuss the escape room event. Dorit thinks there was tension between herself and Erika. Eileen feels that Dorit blindsided Erika with the panties, and Erika felt like everyone was in on the joke except her.

Eileen brings up what was discussed at Dorit’s dinner party about her mother’s passing, and how she didn’t tell anyone. Dorit says she doesn’t remember the conversation. I’m not sure if she’s that scatterbrained or if she’s trying to avoid the topic. She doesn’t get what the context was, which flusters Eileen. She tries to explain further, but gets nowhere. In her interview, Dorit says that Eileen wants to give credence to something that apparently wasn’t that important. Eileen thinks the more she tries to clarify things, the more confusing she’s making them. Somehow, she manages to get her point across. I think.

Eden Sassoon, LisaR and Erika go out to lunch. Eden says her father created the “bob” haircut, but wasn’t that popular in the 1920s? Eden tells Lisa that her hair is iconic and to never change. Really? She talks about her younger sister dying in her 30s of an overdose, and tells stories about hanging out with celebrities in the 80s. Lisa invites her to Kyle’s game night, since the Richards sisters were part of the pack way back when.

Kyle drops off lunch for Mauricio and two of their daughters, who are working at his office. He’s excited about the girls working with him. Kyle says that she and Mauricio are having a hard time finding balance, and talks about making marriage and family being a priority.

Camille has a new home, and Eileen comes bearing a gigantic plant. In her interview, Camille says she doesn’t know if the ice will ever thaw between her and Kelsey, and I wonder if she’s gearing up to be on next season. Dorit arrives bringing a gigantic bottle of wine, and Erika brings a pretty large box of…something. The ladies go outside to eat.

Erika talks about her latest video and explains the process. In her interview, Dorit seems to think that Erika’s career is just a hobby, comparing it to Boy George’s gig. Even though Erika just had her ninth number one single. Dorit thinks that Erika doesn’t have much “performer allure” (?) in normal conversation, and is kind of reserved. They talk about being in your 40s, which Dorit seems to think brings confidence. Erika laughs because Dorit has only been 40 for a week. Eileen thinks you care less about what other people think and that it’s emancipating.

Dorit brings up what Eileen had asked her about the dinner party. I just hate how they beat things to death on this show. In her interview, Eileen thinks Dorit is trying to make her [sic] a problem when she isn’t one. Eileen interrupts Dorit, who asks Eileen to let her finish.

Next time, Dorit feels like she’s in the hot seat, another game night, Eileen tells Dorit she talks to much, and Kim Richards and LisaR go at it. Ought to be good.

The Haves and the Have Nots

I had to attend a dinner at a neighbor’s house, so I missed the first half of the show. Why OWN’s programs aren’t repeated immediately afterward, like just about every other station’s, is a mystery to me. The next one is at 3 am, and I’m not making it until then. The only two things of real import are that Kathryn has Veronica locked in the Cryer mansion and Justin now knows all about Quincy.

At Benny’s place (at least for right now), Hanna hassles Benny about not eating, but then says his appetite will come back. He wonders why she’s not mad about him, Candace, and the whole house thing. He says Candace is his sister, so he tries, but she is who she is. He says at least she paid the mortgage on Hanna’s house. Hanna tells him that she has a peace that passes all understanding.

She tells Benny she has $300 left and they can go to a hotel for a while. She tells him that Candace will never learn. Benny wonders why she’d do something like this, referring to her mortgaging everything, but Hanna says as long as he trusts in her, he won’t be able to believe in anything higher.

Candace knocks at the door. She tells Benny she can’t get the money, but she’s been offered cash to turn herself in, and thinks maybe then they can keep the mortgage. The other thing that might be important is that Oscar has offered her a place in some grand scheme, so maybe that’s where she’s planning on getting money from. She says she wasn’t expecting Hanna to be there, and Hanna says only until tomorrow. She asks what Candace would be turning herself in for, but Candace won’t say. Benny tells Hanna that it was for falsifying documents. Candace thinks she can change the banker’s mind. Hanna asks if she’s going to sleep with him, and Candace gets sarcastic, telling her yes, and if that doesn’t work, she’ll make the rounds of all of the bankers and their families.

Hanna doesn’t believe she’ll turn herself in, because that would mean taking responsibility. She tells Benny to pack his clothes before he’s thrown out on the street. Benny tells them he’ll just leave. Hanna says if Candace doesn’t go to jail for this, she will for Quincy. No one ever saw him come out of her house. Candace asks why she’s so interested. Benny says he’s not sitting by while she goes to jail, and Hanna asks how she’s going to learn anything. Candace says Hanna can live the way she wants to, but there’s more to life for her. Hannah agrees that there’s more to life.

Candace says she has some money in a safe. She’ll get it out, and if she has to go away, that’s the way it goes. She tells Benny she’ll be back, and leaves. Hanna tells him that she doesn’t get it.

David meets Charles, telling him congratulations. He thinks Charles will be the next president. David says his situation is hot, and it’s not going to help his campaign being seen with him. He says he’s sorry about Charles’s wife, and Charles says sorry about David’s pending divorce.

He goes back to the bar and sits with Erica. She asks how David knows Charles, and he tells her that he’d met him when he was running for senate. David gets a call from the county jail and steps away to take it. It’s Jim. David tells him if he apologizes to the judge, he’ll reconsider bail. Jim doesn’t want to, but David says it’s the only way. Jim says he needs to get War out of there too. He’s an ally, but in for drug possession. Jim doesn’t want to explain further, so David says he’ll get Wally on it.

David goes back to Erica, saying it’s just the two of them, and she says until his phone rings again. She’s cool with it though.

Kathryn tells Veronica she can be ruthless and cunning, and asks if she forgot that. Veronica says no, and Kathryn says she won’t now. Dammit. I know I missed some good stuff. Kathryn asks if they’re going to continue playing this game. She says it will just drive her further into this insanity, but that would be a good defense. She asks why Veronica did that to her son, and how she knew he was in jail. Veronica says she has clients from all walks of life and many sources. Kathryn wants to know about Wyatt’s cellmate.

Veronica says he was murdered. Kathryn asks what his name was and Veronica tells her, Milton. Kathryn asks what he was in for, and Veronica says murder. Kathryn says that Wyatt was assaulted as a child and says she knew it. Veronica tells her that it wasn’t supposed to go that far; she just wanted him to be scared. There’s a knife a little too close to Kathryn’s hand, and I’m guessing she’s going to use it at some point. Veronica says Jim was protecting Wyatt too much, and Wyatt needed to be frightened. She says she would never do anything to intentionally hurt him, and Kathryn asks how that worked out. Veronica says not good. Kathryn says not good for Wyatt, and not good for her at all.

Veronica asks what she means. Kathryn says she knows when Veronica is lying and telling the truth, and she knows how desperate Veronica is. Veronica apologizes, and says to let her fix it, adding that they’re friends. Kathryn says they’re friends all right. Veronica’s mother was a whore and her father played the numbers. She’s one of five children who all hate her guts. She needed a scholarship from Kathryn’s father, and she knows what Veronica did to get it. Yuck. She’s also technically in the red and in debt with the bank. Kathryn says she’s on the board of the bank and has power. She tells Veronica that the life she knew is going to be over, and tells her to leave.

Veronica says the doors are locked. Kathryn tells her that she’s going to realize the grave mistake she made putting that animal in with her son. She grabs the knife (called it), and says Veronica needs to die. Veronica runs and Kathryn catches up, slashing at her and cutting her.

Next time, Benny fights with Wyatt, Candace tells Justin he doesn’t want to go down that road, and Veronica and Kathryn struggle for the knife.

Ladies of London Quote

💋   If everyone’s calling you an a-hole, maybe you’re being an a-hole.Joan Collins Sophie referring to Caroline #1.

 

January 2, 2017 – Pump Rules the Road, a Chart & a Quote

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

Hope everyone had a happy and safe New Year’s Eve and Day! Football replaced GH today, and everything was closed, so none of us know what day of the week it is at this point. Weekend + holiday = confusion. That being said, on to more important things. Like gratuitous glimpses of Giggy and endless Range Rover discussions.

Vanderpump Rules

Last week, Tom made made it clear that nobody was going to stand in the way of Ariana’s tiara-ed wine country NASCAR birthday being fabulous or he would be pissed. Lala never shows up for the flight.

Ariana gets a text from her, apologizing for bailing, and saying she’ll make it up to her. In his interview, Jax thinks that Lala believes an apology makes everything okay. He does admit it’s an improvement in conditions, since they’re all going to be in close counters [sic] in the RV rented for the trip. Brittany announces that she gets car sick, and I think of Joe Buck in Midnight Cowboy who only gets car sick on boats. They have a problem just getting out of the parking lot, so I’m skeptical if they’ll make it to wine country.

Stassi is on her way to her own birthday celebration in Montauk. She reminds us that she hasn’t had a birthday trip in two years. We flash back to Jax’s chunky sweatered a-holeness and Katie’s whining on Stassi’s previous birthdays. I’d probably never have another trip again after those fiascoes. The girls have rented a place right on the beach and it’s beautiful.

Scheana has decided to come along, and she hopes that everyone’s attitudes can stay with the sunny weather, which is a very Scheana-like remark to make. Stassi asks Katie how she’s feeling about Scheana being there, and she’s good. Stassi hopes Scheana doesn’t make the trip all about her. Because, you know, it’s the national holiday called STASSI’S BIRTHDAY.

While driving the RV, Tom goes blah-blah-blah about Lala, because the NASCAR VIP tickets were super expensive, but Ariana’s jury is out until she gets the real story. Although she does add that it had better have been important. Brittany decides to FaceTime with Scheana. She tells Scheana and Stassi about Lala not showing up. Scheana is annoyed, since Lala is the reason that she wasn’t invited on the Sonoma trip. However, Stassi has already informed us that Scheana choosing not to go to Montauk would be unbridesmaid-like behavior. Brittany tells Stassi that it’s like a redneck dream in the RV.

At SUR, Lisa and Peter (who looks so different since he shaved, I didn’t recognize him) discuss business. Ariana calls Lisa, asking if she’s seen or heard from Lala, but Lisa thought she was with Ariana. Ariana tells Lisa that Lala bailed with no explanation. Lisa isn’t too happy, since Lala begged for the night off, but tells Ariana to just forget about Lala and have good time. In her interview, Ariana says Lala is shady as hell and she’s over it.

Kristen informs us that since New Yorkers are always on the go, they need to go to the Hamptons to decompress. She doesn’t understand the appeal though, since she never does anything. Scheana tells everyone how Lala never showed for Ariana’s birthday, but everyone agrees that Ariana is better off, because this is “the kind of girl who doesn’t wear underwear to work.” Stassi admits they’re a bunch of haters. Well, at least she’s honest.

Ariana’s crew gets to Sonoma. In his interview, Schwartz tells us that Jax basically stinks because he’s been wearing the same compression garment (man bra) since his breast reduction surgery. Even in the shower. Bleh. Ariana is embarrassed that they’ve pulled up to the winery in a Winnebago. A wine tasting has been set up, but Jax would prefer a vodka tasting. Brittany is down for tequila or whiskey, but also isn’t much of a wine drinker.

Tom suggests that they play a lottery where the loser drinks from the bucket of wine spit. I can only hope he draws the low card or whatever. Or maybe Jax. Too bad. It’s Ariana. Understandably, she hesitates. She holds the floral centerpiece next to her face, so that the people at the other tables don’t see her. News flash. You’re actually making yourself more obvious.

In Montauk, Kristen talks about her nearly perfect relationship. Stassi is still bummed about things not working out so well with Patrick. We flash back to when they were moving in together. Katie asks if she’s okay. Stassi insists that she’s fine, but wipes tears from her eyes.

Ariana says she feels like the RV wants them to be drunken idiots on the road. And they are. They drink tequila as they speed along. Um…should Bravo be letting them do that?

James tells us that he’s traded his alcohol addiction for ice cream. He meets with his mentor, Arthur, while he downs several scoops of some pretty weird flavors. God forgive me, but I’d love to see James get fat. He talks about going to Lisa, and how she turned him down when he asked for his job back. Arthur says that this should be a red flag that James shouldn’t drink, and asks what the real problem is underneath the drinking. James tells him about his family breaking apart, and how that makes him want to drink. He says he feels like a drink, and I tell him he doesn’t look like one. BA-DUM-CHH! Arthur owns a bar, and James asks if he needs a DJ. Arthur says he’ll hire him, but if he takes a drink, he’ll be fired and be given a haircut.

Ariana’s birthday troupe goes to Sonoma Raceway. Ariana and Brittany have shots in the RV. Ariana says she’s having the time of her life, and she’s glad she doesn’t have to dress up. Tom talks to the guys, including Ariana’s brother, about his and Ariana’s sex life, which isn’t happening much. Ariana tells Brittany how she’s constantly telling Tom to back off. Tom talks about something where I go ♫ LA-LA-LA ♫  Jax wonders when he’s going to sabotage his relationship with Brittany, since that’s what he’s best at. Ariana drains the tequila bottle.

Scheana acts like a wet blanket when Stassi’s birthday group wants to have shots, because she’s sticking to her workout regimen. A guy stops by their table (it’s an outdoor bar), and Scheana tells him it’s Stassi’s birthday and she’s 22, when she’s really 28, and I wonder why. In her interview, Stassi says that she was hoping for someone a bit younger to hit on her. I would have been hoping for someone younger. She tells the girls her cut off is 45.

Ariana is absolutely hammered, and Tom loves it. He’s probably hoping for sex. In his interview, Schwartz says that Ariana is more responsible than the rest of them, and rarely gets drunk, but when she does, it’s two-fisted and he thinks she should do it more often.

Another guy comes by Stassi’s table and Scheana gives him the same routine. Stassi says they’re getting warmer. Until he starts talking. Then they’re freezing. A guy named Laertes (!) replaces him. He seems kind of cool, isn’t bad looking, and is rather sylish. Katie monopolizes him and then he jets. Stassi says it’s official that Katie will never be her wingwoman, and worries that she’ll be single forever. I wouldn’t be too concerned at age 22 28.

Commercial break. Omg, I am feeling fat and I can’t stop eating because I am still in holiday mode, and there are still a lot of good leftovers. I need something like one of those talking car alarms, but it will say, Step away from the refrigerator!

James shows up at SUR to talk to Max. Lisa says it’s unfortunate that she can’t fire James from being friends with her son. Lisa asks James if he knows what’s up with Lala. He’s surprised that she didn’t come on Ariana’s birthday trip, and he thinks she’s under her boyfriend’s thumb. He says the boyfriend sometimes follows her, and she’s become very jumpy. In his interview, he says Lala wonders why everyone is so interested, and it’s because she creates interest, making up different stories. In her interview, Lisa says she doesn’t know if Lala’s boyfriend is married, but it’s obvious that her choice in boyfriends is questionable. She tells James not to be a bad influence on Max.

Katie calls Schwartz, who says they have everything they could ask for – beer and an RV. Katie finds it hard to believe that Schwartz could live the RV life, and we see a clip of him in a fluffy robe at a posh hotel, messing with his hair. Tom gets on the phone, and they discuss Lala. Katie is glad everyone is seeing her true colors. They speculate as to whether she might have been abducted by aliens, and what she might be doing for space Range Rovers, because that topic cannot be dropped. Ever. Schwartz is glad that it sounds like there won’t be any raging, angry texts tonight. Katie tells him they’re going skinny-dipping and he says he’ll be right there. The girls all find this highly amusing.

In his interview, Tom talks about Ariana’s last birthday, when she was sad about her father’s death, and he left her in the dust to go to Vegas. He wants to make sure she knows how important she is to him. He tells her how he’ll always be here for her, and in her interview, she says he’s more than redeemed himself, and she has no greater ally.

Jax farts and nearly clears the RV. smh

Once again, Scheana doesn’t want to go with the flow. The girls want to do their skinny-dipping thing, but she says they’re ganging up on her and giving her peer pressure. In her interview, Kristen says she must not have gotten the memo that they always get naked on Stassi’s birthday. Still, Scheana stays ashore in her robe. After the girls get out of the water, Stassi realizes that the lighthouse is pointed toward them and people are cheering.

Next time, NASCAR, the girls hunt up a man for Stassi, and Lala thinks it’s time to leave SUR.

New Year’s Chart & Quote

🎅 I’m somewhere between the second and third ones.
holidaychart
🕯 Let your light beam in 2017.Robin Roberts, talking about her family’s motto for the new year.

December 27, 2016 – A Ship Called Reincarnation, an Escape Room in Beverly Hills & Speed Londoning

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

Wow. The celebrities have been dropping like flies. Carrie Fisher just passed away. Not quite as much of a shock as George Michael or Alan Thicke, but still, wow.

General Hospital

Valentin curses his life. Nina comes running in, and he tells her he lost something.

Anna is having coffee at the MetroCourt and Laura joins her. She wants to follow up about Valentin. Anna wonders what the Christmas thing was about, and Laura says he’s playing with them and needs to be neutralized. Funny, she never uses words like that.

Curtis and Jason meet Sam at Kelly’s. Jason tells her they’re no longer convinced that Julian is behind the bombing.

Winston tells the boss that he thinks Julian and Alexis have assumed relations and Julian is no longer convalescing. What? Ha-ha! Nobody uses the words like the villains use on this show. He says that they need to keep Julian in line. He needs to be reminded that there are consequences to any disobedience.

Alexis wakes to Julian’s face, but it’s just a dream. He calls to her from downstairs. Holy! She takes a drink before she even gets out of bed. I went to a party last weekend, and even now, just the thought of that makes my stomach turn.

Curtis tells Sam that they haven’t ruled Julian out officially, and they think he knows more than he’s saying. Jason says whoever did this used the van and deliberately left it to be found. Sam asks if they think it’s a set up, and Curtis says they’re not ruling out any possibilities. Curtis leaves to do “that thing.” Jason says he thinks both Julian and Sonny were set up.

Alexis asks Julian if it isn’t enough that he ruined her life and blackmailed her, does she really have to clock in? He says anyone would be worried if they knew how hard she was hitting the bottle. She asks if he doesn’t have someone to answer to, like a boss. Speaking of which…

Winston tells the boss that they have other means at their disposal, and he’ll deal with it right away. Maybe Winston is nuts and he’s really the boss. I don’t really think so, but this one-sided conversation is getting old.

Nina says she’ll help Valentin look, but he says he overreacted. He tells her that it’s an old photograph.

Anna tells Laura not to do anything, because she’s working with the WSB. Laura says she’s running out of time. Lulu is going to fight for custody, but if the court rules against her, Laura is afraid of what Lulu will do. Anna says Lulu should be careful or she’ll lose all access to Charlotte. Laura says if Lulu loses, she’ll eliminate Valentin herself. Man, Laura is feisty today.

Jason tells Sam that Sonny had controlled Port Charles for over twenty years, and Julian came along two years ago and took over. He wonders what if someone else wanted the territory? He talks about the pawn shop, and Sam says she’ll help to investigate. Lucas walks in. I forgot he’s even on this show, it’s been so long. Curtis calls Jason who tells him the pawn shop is closed. He’s going to track down Winston, but in the meantime the shop is unattended. Jason says he’ll get on that and jets. Lucas asks Sam about Julian’s accident, and Sam says she’s sorry she bothered visiting him.

Julian tells Alexis that he’s being supportive, giving Alexis someone to talk to. He says he’s the only one who knows how terrified she is that she won’t get back to where she was, and drinking isn’t going to get her out of it.

Anna says that Laura has every right to sacrifice herself, but they should make sure it doesn’t come to that. She promises there’s always something to be found with someone like Valentin.

Nina asks what’s up with the photo. Valentin says it’s a relic from his past, and it reminds him how far he’s come and how far he has to go.

Laura asks Anna what she’d do if Valentin came after Robin or Emma. Laura sees Lulu and says good-by to Anna. Andre arrives and takes Laura’s place at Anna’s table. He says Anna’s message sounded urgent.

Lulu joins Laura talk about Rocco’s new Christmas puppy. Lulu says the only thing missing on Christmas was Charlotte. Laura says she spoke to Scotty. Lulu wonders what court would let Valentin keep Charlotte. Laura says plenty of courts would do just that.

Anna shows Andre the photo, and tells him that an associate found it in Valentin’s possession. Even though the picture is from her early WSB days, she says Robert told her that Valentin never went through the WSB program. Andre says he could have gotten the photo and information from someone else who knew her back in the day.

Valentin tells Nina that the photo was sentimental. She says he’s doing it again – the mysterious thing. He drops a hint and pulls back, and it doesn’t work for her anymore. He apologizes, and says he doesn’t trust people very easily. She asks if they don’t both have to take a leap of faith and trust each other if they’re going to have a relationship.

Laura tells Lulu that they have to come up with a plan. Lulu says she’s Charlotte’s mom and wants Charlotte with her. She says she can offer Charlotte a safe, stable environment, while Valentin is a single parent and a murderer. Laura says that Charlotte is old enough for the court to take her wishes into consideration. They need to have their best strategy to win before they go to war. She suggests striking a deal and sharing custody.

Alexis tells Julian that she doesn’t interfere with his publishing business, and to stop acting like he cares. She says he’s delusional if he thinks you can love your wife and then try to kill her. He says what about when she kissed him last night, or is she going to deny it happened? Um…didn’t they already talk all about that last night?

Sam tells Lucas that ever since she got pregnant, Danny keeps asking when Lucas and Brad are having kids. Lucas says that Julian would want to place himself in his hypothetical child’s life, and he doesn’t want that.

Alexis tells Julian the kiss meant nothing, and unfortunately, she wasn’t drunk. She was trying to give him a tiny taste of how he treats her. Julian is about to tell her something that’s supposedly a bombshell, when the doorbell rings. It’s Winston. He says he’s there to see Julian and Alexis asks if he works for Julian. Winston says he works with him.

Jason lets himself into the pawn shop. The boss watches on the monitor. Curtis watches as Alexis lets Winston in, and says that’s just weird. Jason checks out the model ship.

Sam shows Lucas pictures of Danny on her phone, and he sees the Chinese food bag by accident. She says it’s just something she’s working on. He tells her that the characters don’t say “good taste” in Chinese.

Jason remembers Winston talking about the ship and how he’s holding it for a customer.

Curtis wonders what the owner of a shady ass pawn shop has going on with Alexis. He hears on the scanner that an armed and dangerous guy has broken into the pawn shop.

Winston comments that Julian has a lovely wife. She says ex-wife, and Winston says Julian must be doing something right. He asks for privacy, and Alexis says he doesn’t need to ask twice. After she’s gone, Winston says that Julian didn’t say anything about relocating, and keeping secrets doesn’t look good. The boss has asked him to show Julian something they’ve been keeping from him.

Andre tells Anna that one of her former classmates or instructors could have given Valentin the information. She doesn’t believe it. She says that Valentin enjoys provoking her, and everything is calculated. Whatever happened between them is personal to him.

Nina tells Valentin that she’s the one taking a big risk. If she has to trust him, he has to trust her. He says he’s spent his life not trusting anyone.

Lulu can’t believe what Laura just asked her to do. Laura says she’s afraid of the consequences Lulu will face if she doesn’t win. She’s asking the court to place Charlotte with a stranger. Lulu says that’s why she needs custody right now, so they can bond. Laura says strike a deal so she can do that, and they can bide their time until the circumstances favor them, and then pull the rug out from under Valentin. She tells Lulu that they have to be patient, but the WSB will get enough information to put him away. Lulu says if Valentin was a good man, she’d be glad to share custody, but she thinks Charlotte is in danger, and one way or another she’ll win.

Nina asks Valentin about the photograph. He says pain is useful and can keep him from making the same mistake again. There was someone he trusted, and he let her see the real him, and she made him pay a steep price. (Anna?) The only one he’s trusted since is Charlotte. Nina says there’s good news – if he let Charlotte in, maybe he’ll let someone else in.

Sam asks Lucas when he started speaking Chinese, and he says he just speaks a little. She asks him to translate. He says it seems to be saying “reincarnation.” I laugh because I totally misunderstood. I guess Good Taste is the restaurant name. I thought Lucas was inferring that the characters were not in good taste and cursed you out or something.

Curtis calls Jason and tells him to get out of the pawn shop; the cops are on their way. We hear sirens and Jason says, too late.

Winston shows Julian security footage of when Alexis hit him. Oh please, can we see him fly in the air again? Nope. Julian says she called 911, and wonders why he was told the footage was unusable. Winston says maybe someone got there first and took out the good parts. He wonders about Alexis’s standing with the bar association if this comes out. Julian says if he harms Alexis, and begins to threaten him, but Winston says Julian won’t let that happen, right? He lets himself out, and Alexis comes back downstairs.

Laura tells Lulu that the next step is for her to sit down with her lawyer and husband and plot the case. Lulu is surprised that Laura isn’t fighting her harder. Laura says bottom line, she has Lulu’s back, and Charlotte belongs with her no matter what.

Nina tells Valentin that they have to look for the photo, but he says someone took it. She wonders if it’s Charlotte, and he says someone else.

Anna tells Andre that she has a bit of a memory. She was young and walking down a corridor, and hears whistling – the same tune that Valentin taught Charlotte. Andre says with the intense training, her memory might not be reliable. Anna starts to tear up. She says even if it’s just a fragment or out of context, she has to get to the end of the memory. She has to walk down the corridor and find out what’s behind the door. She thinks the answers will tumble out when it’s opened. She wants Andre to hypnotize her.

Jason and Curtis come back to Kelly’s. Sam asks what’s wrong. Jason says good thing Curtis has a police scanner because he almost got caught. Curtis tells her that he called 911 to report a scary clown incident down the block to divert them. He says obviously, someone saw Jason.

A cop arrives at the pawn shop. He asks Winston about the security footage, but Winston says the cameras are just for show and haven’t worked in years. He says that the sirens must have scared the intruder off and nothing was taken.

Jason tells Sam that it wasn’t a total loss; he snagged the model ship. It has the same Chinese characters on it that are on the bag. Sam tells them that it means reincarnation.

Winston tells the boss that the model boat is missing.

Curtis wonders if the person Winston met with this morning might give them information. He tells them Winston was with Sam’s mama.

Alexis asks what part of Julian’s work includes her. She wonders why he’s so tense. Julian says if he didn’t know any better, he’d say she was worried about him. She tells him not to flatter himself.

Winston says that Julian has been put in his place for the time being, but he and the boss have a more urgent problem. It’s time to do something about Jason Morgan.

Because the shows are out of sync, there’s no preview, just the extra-long credits where they actually show everyone who worked on GH, which usually happens on Christmas Eve.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Erika is going to the CBS studio to discuss her part on The Young and the Restless, and she’s nervous. In her interview, she talks about when she first moved to LA and went on auditions, and how she’s a showgirl rather than an actress. She makes a good point in saying everyone hits their strides at different times, and she hates when people give you a shelf life, like if you don’t do something by a certain age, you’re done. Says who? she says. You go, Erika Jayne!

Kyle and LisaV meet for drinks. Lisa tells Kyle that West Hollywood is supporting her fight against the Yulin dog meat trade, and she wants to put political pressure on China. In her interview, she says she wants to make it her life’s work to stop dog torture. I love Lisa and want to know when I can move in. They joke about Erika not wearing underwear at the pre-white party kiki. Kyle thinks Dorit is just a little annoyed and not ready to let it go. Lisa says she likes her knickers. Me too.

Erika arrives at the studio, and Eileen meets her. She tells Eileen she doesn’t want to let her down. Executive producer Mal meets with them. We find out that Erika was (loosely) named after Erika Kane on All My Children. They discuss what kind of part she would like. She says she’s more like the hooker next door than the girl next door. He asks if they would like a scene together, and they would. In her interview, Erika jokes that she doesn’t want to single-handedly sink the show.

Dorit and PK take daughter Phoenix to the doctor. She wears a headband because she favored one side while sleeping, and it started to affect her skull. Dorit is hoping they’re getting closer to being able to take it off. They look at before and after pictures, and the doctor says she’s done wearing it. Dorit is ecstatic.

LisaR goes to do her QVC thing. She started with them after her stores tanked, and she has a “today’s special value” going on, which means you sell during a 24-hour period. I gotta say, the duster sweaters she’s selling are nice. She says her hustle has just begun, and you only get an hour’s sleep on a day like this. She’s happy that Harry is at the point where he no longer has to work, because there were so many years where he took parts just to support the family.

Lisa calls Harry. He wonders why she’s selling sweaters in the middle of summer, but she says she’s halfway to her goal. He admits they’re cool sweaters. Told you. Even Harry thinks so. (#WhatDidHarryDo) She asks if he talked to their daughters who are loose in NYC. He says he texted and tracked them, and they were where they were supposed to be. Like a kid can’t figure out a way around that.

Kyle just got back from the callback session for her show. She calls Mauricio and tells him how surreal it is seeing people playing herself and people she knows. She thought Portia was too young to audition, and it would also be too strange. She’s happy that they’ll be filming close to home, and talks about how difficult it is for her and Mauricio to be in the same place at once lately.

Eileen calls QVC saying she wants a sweater in every color. She nicely plugs the line while she’s on the phone.

Giggy! Harrison! LisaV and Ken visit their dog rescue. The manager thanks her for the donation. In her interview, Lisa explains that they started the foundation, and use both donations and their own money. Lisa wants one of the dogs, and Ken says every animal she sees, she wants. She says well, she did marry him. In her interview, she talks about how Ken made a U-turn in the middle of the highway to rescue a dog when they were first dating, and she knew she was going to marry him. He helps groom one of the dogs. They’re also doing a documentary and entering a resolution into Congress about stopping dog torture. Lisa says her life has gone to the dogs, and wonders how many you need before you look like a crazy person. The manager says she’s the wrong person to ask. So am I.

Dorit gets together with LisaR and Eileen, who go nuts over her shoes. Lisa calls her taste “exotic,” and Eileen is shocked that she just had a baby and looks so good. Dorit tells them about Phoenix’s skull problem, and that she’s officially on the other side of it. They talk about the various traumas their children have put them through.

They discuss Erika inviting them to an escape room experience. Eileen suggests no one drink beforehand. Dorit tells them about Erika’s lack of underwear at the kiki. She says she thought that Erika was wearing nude-colored panties, and then realized how hard her husband was staring. Not that she blames him. She says he told her later that it was uncomfortable, even though he couldn’t look away. In her interview, Lisa thinks Dorit is overreacting, and it would be easy to forget about crossing your legs. Um…I don’t think I’d forget. Lisa thinks they’re misjudging Erika because of her looks, and Eileen doesn’t think she was flashing on purpose. Dorit plans on giving Erika some panties, and Eileen wants to witness that.

Kyle meets Dorit for some shopping in one of those rich people stores that has like five dresses. Dorit tells her about having drinks with Eileen and LisaR. They talk about Erika, and Kyle says she doesn’t think Erika did anything on purpose. Dorit tells Kyle about what PK said. In her interview, Dorit says she thinks Erika has a good sense of humor, and buys a pair of lacy panties for her. Kyle thinks it could go terribly wrong, but wants to be there when it happens. What is up with these women?

Eileen tells Erika that Mal wants her to read, and the writers will come up with something for her.  The girls all meet at the escape room place. Dorit says she’s giving Erika a cheeky gift, since they’ve all seen her pretty little puss. Erika isn’t happy about PK seeing the view, and wonders why he didn’t say something. Well, he doesn’t really know Erika, and it’s up there with telling someone their fly is open. Worse. I’m pretty good with things like that, but not everyone is.

Erika takes the undies in good humor. Dorit says the whole thing took on a life of his own. Erika tells her that the only reason she wasn’t wearing underwear was because of the dress. In her interview, Dorit wonders how you wouldn’t know that you’re flashing someone. Erika tells her the more you talk about sh*t the worse it gets, so be careful. Dorit wonders if that’s a threat. She tells Erika that she didn’t want it to be a thing, and they act friendly. LisaV arrives. Erika tells her about the underwear, and Lisa says she already heard about it.

The host gives them instructions on finding clues, etc. It’s cool, like an old, weird apothecary – their adventure is called “The Alchemist” – but looks complicated like a Survivor challenge. They break into teams. LisaV is with Eileen and Dorit. In her interview, Lisa says that she’s escaping from both the room and Eileen. LisaR thinks she’s going to be trapped forever. It looks like fun, and they do pretty well, making it out of the room. Eileen is proud that she and LisaV teamed together, considering where they were a few months ago.

The ladies go for drinks afterward. They’re very proud of themselves. They talk about Kim’s daughter having a baby. In her interview, Kyle says the baby couldn’t come at a better time for Kim, who’s doing well with her sobriety. Kyle says they’re all starving because they’re not used to using their brains so much. LisaV asks what happened, since she wasn’t there for the delivery of the underwear. Omg, let’s keep beating that dead kitty horse. Lisa is disappointed that there isn’t more to the story. Erika says the only thing she feels badly that PK didn’t say something, and Dorit says what I did. Erika says it’s all good. Dorit tells her that they can always have a chat about it, but Erika thinks there’s nothing else to say. In her interview, Kyle says Erika seems cool, but probably wants to take this bitch down. They order another Margarita round. LisaV asks if they’re done with the conversation, and both Dorit and Erika say, “I am.” Wondering about Dorit though…

Next time, LisaR tells the others about Eileen losing her mother, Erika says someone (Dorit?) takes the fun out of hanging out with women, and the no underwear saga continues. 👙

Ladies of London mention. Caroline #1 thinks that her family should just blindly back her even if she does the worst thing in the world, so she’s very disappointed in Alexis Carrington Sophie. Her husband explains that what Caroline is doing is like drinking poison and expecting the other guy to die. Julie is worried that because her daughter likes coffee, the second she goes to university in Scotland, she’ll hole up in a coffeehouse and smoke marijuana. Huh? Marissa’s husband wants to move back to the states, but she’s not too keen on it. She says she’s had enough adventure this year to last her a lifetime. Juliet’s hair keeps getting lighter…and so does her brain since she’s been hanging around with Caroline #1. Caroline #1 actually surprises me by being less of an a-hole this week, finally listening to Adela, who’s going through a bitter and stressful time with her ex. Although it looks like she might make up for that next week, when she’s mean to Caroline #2. Who, btw, is writing a new cookbook, and tells a lovely story about how her passion for food came from her mother and grandmother, talking about picking mushrooms and berries in the forest. We also get a look at the estate she’s responsible for running. Sigh…

📻 And the soundtrack tonight was excellent!

December 26, 2016 – It’s Still Christmas Eve in Port Charles & James is Still Fired from PUMP

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Julian tells Alexis that he’s always held on to the hope that they could make a life together again. He tells her that he’s alive because of her, she’s his reason for living and his heartbeat. I gag, but she says she sees him, and they kiss.

Elizabeth has called Scotty to help Franco because she doesn’t want him railroaded by the police.

Jordan is outside talking to someone on the phone about Tom’s murder. There are no witnesses, but they do have a murder weapon. Andre comes along.

Michael offers to give Nell a ride home. He says it’s her Christmas present. Geez, don’t go overboard. They leave, and Sonny tells Carly that she cleared out the place pretty quickly. She says she wanted to be alone with him.

Dante tells Franco that he isn’t under arrest, and Scotty says he wants to keep it that way. Dante says that Franco had a public altercation with Tom, and they want to ask him some questions. He says Tom might have been a degenerate, but he still has to handle the case. Franco says he’s happy to answer any questions and has nothing to hide. Scotty insists on being in the room for any questioning.

Julian tells Alexis that he’s been praying for something like that to happen. Alexis says she didn’t mean it. He tells her that part of her did. She asks which part, so she can have it removed.

Dante talks to Franco about the altercation with Tom at the hospital. He asks if Franco recalls threatening Tom’s life. Franco says yes, but he doesn’t remember exactly what he said. Dante asks Elizabeth if Tom had contacted her, and she says he did, but there wasn’t anything worthy of letting the police know about it. Franco thinks that Tom wanted to bother Elizabeth, and got the job at the hospital to act legitimate. He says he knows nothing about Tom’s death, and an altercation isn’t murder. Dante gets a call and has to leave for a moment.

Scotty tells Franco there’s a Latin phrase that comes to mind – shut up, you dummy. He thanks Elizabeth for having Franco’s back, and leaves to talk to Dante. Elizabeth says the fight Franco and Tom had might not mean anything, but he never finished what it was he wanted to tell her about Tom.

Nell asks Michael if he’d like to come in for tea or hot cocoa, and he says she read his mind. He thanks her for getting the Christmas cookies and talks about going to get them with Morgan when they were kids. Nell says the tribute to Morgan was beautiful, and thanks Michael for including her. He’s surprised she enjoyed it. He says he noticed that when Carly started talking about family, she seemed sad, and asks what that’s about.

Carly says she and Sonny need to talk about something. She says that she knows Sonny and Nell were lying to her, and she knows why. I’ll bet she doesn’t.

Jordan asks Andre what’s up. He says he was at some Kwanza festivities, and explains the holiday to her. He says he sees her eyes glazing over and is afraid he nerded her out. She says no, but she’d like to know what it means to him. He says the seven core principles give him peace of mind and pride. Jordan says it’s been a while since they’ve spoken, and Andre asks her to rectify that right now if she has the time. She says she does.

Julian tells Alexis that he didn’t want this to happen because she was drunk. She insists she isn’t, but we all see how low the level in the bottle is, and it was full when she started. Julian says her drinking is scaring him. She tells him that although she disagrees with his perception, she heard him, and he needs a truth from her.

Carly tells Sonny she knows the gloves were from Nell not him, because he gives jewelry and cars. He says he was afraid that if he gave her something, she’d throw it back at him. He says he can get her something else, but she says she’s happy to just be with him.

Nell tells Michael that she was thinking about her childhood. Christmas was hard. There weren’t many presents because they had difficulty making ends meet. She wished for so many things as a kid, not just big things, but she never got the little ones either. Michael says he’s sorry, but she says it’s not his fault. She says growing up poor and suddenly being surrounded by so much, she gets jealous sometimes.

Franco suggests to Elizabeth that they just get through this first. He apologizes for breaking his promise to stay away from Tom. He says he did something to Tom that seemed like the right thing to protect her. He dances around actually telling her anything, and she asks if he killed Tom.

Andre tells Jordan he’s missed her and she says she’s missed him too. He says he called once, but didn’t leave a message. He realized he wasn’t ready to discuss things yet, but now he’s more than ready. He says the whole thing started because he answered her phone and didn’t tell her Curtis had called, and he never meant to invade her privacy. She says that Curtis was calling about a police matter, and he didn’t give her the message. Andre says he was feeling insecure about the history she and Curtis shared, and he never should have done it. He apologizes and says he’d like to pick up their relationship if she’s willing. She tells him that she accepts his apology, and she’s sorry too. She says she doesn’t want Curtis getting in the way if she and Andre get together again.

Franco tells Elizabeth that he didn’t even know Tom was dead until the police came. He wanted to stop Tom from hurting her, and if Tom missed his parole meeting, he’d go back to prison. Elizabeth asks what he did. He tells her that he got Tom to the studio, drugged him, and put him in a dog crate. He says he was going to let him go after the meeting was missed, but Tom got out and put him in the crate. Elizabeth says he deserved it. He agrees, and says he never saw Tom again after that. Elizabeth tells him it’s wrong on so many levels, and you can’t break the law just because you’re not in agreement with it. He says he wanted to protect the woman he loves. I would have been laughing if my boyfriend said he put a bad guy in a dog crate.

Carly tells Sonny that she didn’t think she could ever be happy again. She knows the anger wasn’t helping and kept her trapped alone with her pain. She says Morgan deserves better; he deserves to be remembered with love and joy. She thinks they did that tonight, and that was her Christmas present. Sonny says him too.

Michael tells Nell that everybody gets jealous, but it’s important not to get stuck there. He says you can miss out on what’s yours if you focus on what others have. He realizes he grew up privileged, but he still felt sorry for himself, and it didn’t get him anywhere. He decided to come up with three things every day to be grateful for, even if they’re small. He says he’s grateful for Josslyn’s health and grateful for Nell. The tea kettle whistles, and Nell accidentally knocks her music box off the table. Michael starts to help her pick it up, but she abruptly tells him no.

Alexis says Julian assumed the alcohol would lower her defenses, and make her nostalgic and kiss him impulsively. She says the kiss was like Duke’s and Carrrlos’s murder; it was premeditated. She tells Julian that because of his narcissism, he thinks she still has feelings for him, but he’s wrong. She wanted him to remember what they had, so she could assure him it will never happen again. I have to admit, that’s a good one.

Franco tells Elizabeth that what he did was twisted, but doesn’t regret the impulse behind it. Dante comes back in and tells them they can go. When he leaves, Scotty tells them that he couldn’t hear much that Dante was saying, but did hear Tom’s name. He instructs them not to talk to the police unless he’s present. Franco says Scotty told him once that a good lawyer doesn’t ask a question he doesn’t want the answer to, and Scotty hasn’t asked if he killed Tom. Scotty says he wants to find out what’s up with the police first, and they’ll talk on the way home. Elizabeth says she’ll drive Franco back.

Nell asks Michael to get the kettle and she’ll clean up. She apologizes for overreacting. She goes to the kitchen to make cocoa, and he eyeballs the music box.

Sonny asks Carly if she wants to come and watch Avery open presents on Christmas. She says she can’t think of anything better. He says he’d like to think that maybe she came for Christmas Eve just a little for him.

Andre tells Jordan that he never planned on not seeing her over the holidays, so he got her a gift. She says she got something for him too, since she thought they’d figure a way to make it work. He says there’s still enough of a holiday season left for them to share. They kiss.

Julian tells Alexis that they both know why she kissed him. It was a poor decision because she’s drunk. She tosses his pill bottles on the couch, and tells him to be secure in the knowledge that she’ll be an excellent nurse, because she wants him out of her house and her life.

Dante brings in the murder weapon. It’s the knife that Tom took from Franco’s studio. No huge surprise there.

Michael and Nell sip cocoa. She wonders if he’s going to ask what’s in the box. He says he thought that if she wanted to, she’d tell him. She explains that it’s a Christmas present from when she was young. She only has a few things from her childhood and they’re all in the box. Not all of them are happy memories, but she keeps them. He says it would be disrespectful to get rid of them. She says she never thought about it that way, but he’s right. She should never forget where she came from.

Carly gets ready to leave. Sonny says he doesn’t want to pressure her, but wants to know if there’s a chance they can find their way back to each other.

Andre tells Jordan it’s been a pretty wonderful Kwanza, Charlie Brown.

Alexis tells Julian they’re done here, and goes upstairs.

Carly tells Sonny that she doesn’t know how she’ll feel tomorrow, but tonight she was exactly where she wanted to be. They don’t kiss.

Nell tells Michael that she thinks she underestimated how tired she was. Michael says he’s got to get going anyway, and thanks her for the cocoa. He leaves and she heaves a huge sigh. She takes a baby rattle out of the box. It has the name Caroline on it.

Scotty is going to hang around and see if he can get something out of Dante. Elizabeth dashes out the door and Franco chases after her. Outside, she tells him that they both know that the knife is the kind that artists use. And he’s an artist.

Tomorrow, Lulu wants to get Charlotte away from Valentine, Jason tells Sam that he and Curtis don’t think Julian is behind the bombing, and Winston tells the boss that Julian needs to learn about consequences.

Vanderpump Rules

Katie’s mom and grandma are helping to fold the tea towel wedding invitations. Kristen and Stassi join them. In her interview, Stassi thinks $18.50 for “a rag” is a bit much, but I actually think it’s a cute and clever idea. Schwartz leaves for a suit fitting.

Peter has texted Kristen about Lala’s infamous Range Rover. Grandma says it’s $750 a month to rent. Some remarks are made about whatever Lala’s arrangement is.

Moving on. Stassi talks about the trip to Montauk. She claims they’ll get the full experience in one weekend. In her interview, Kristen wonders how many Hamptons there are since it’s plural. Stassi says Scheana’s decision about coming with them or not is far reaching, and she’s definitely not exhibiting bridesmaid behavior. Whatever that is. I’ve always been a bride, but never a bridesmaid.

Shay complains to Scheana about making the bed, since it just gets messed up again. Scheana tells Shay about trying to have a conversation with the girls while they were drunk and she was sober. Shay tells her that it seems like Stassi tries to control everyone. In her interview, Scheana says she could do everything right and they’d still find fault with it. Shay suggests she just ignore them and they’ll see how much they miss and need her. I have to disagree about that being good plan. He tells Scheana that they’re a pack of bullies.

James has a new DJ gig. Ariana, Tom, and Lala show up for support. Lala thinks this place is way better than PUMP, and she’s proud of James. Both things are questionable. The club isn’t nearly as upscale as PUMP, even though James tells us it’s between the Whiskey A-GO-GO and the Roxy, and we also see James slugging back cough syrup. Lala is excited to be going on Ariana’s birthday trip. We flash back to last year when she wasn’t invited. She isn’t thrilled that Jax is going, but she’s committed to having a good time.

In her interview, Kristen says her relationship with Jax is complicated. They’re like a stepbrother and sister who have slept together a couple of times. Eww! Jax has some cysts in his chest that were the result of taking “supplements.” Although he’s not going to do anything rash like stop taking them. I have the feeling the “supplements” he’s talking about are called steroids. This dude is such an idiot, I’m amazed he’s lived this long. He and Kristen go to the gym for a boxing workout class.

After the class, Jax asks Kristen about Carter. She says the one difficulty is him having to be away periodically for work. Jax is glad she finally has normal relationship problems. They talk about Ariana’s upcoming birthday.

Katie picks up Lisa’s summer car and gives her the first wedding invitation. In her interview, Lisa says that they’re a bit Bohemian and unique, although not her style, and we flash back to Pandora’s elaborate invites. Katie talks to Lisa about Scheana being ridiculous. Lisa says she got the impression that Katie had gotten drunk and sent her an aggressive text. Lisa brings up Stassi, saying she makes everything worse instead of better, and is very controlling. Katie feels that she can think for herself and that Lisa is being insulting.

Brittany accompanies Jax to the doctor. He tells her that he’s nervous, and she tells him not to worry and that she’ll take care of him. The doctor comes to get him. He’s hoping to get everything, so there doesn’t have to be a repeat performance surgery. They remove what the doctor describes as a hard disk of breast tissue. He believes it’s benign, but is sending it to pathology to be on the safe side.

The surgery is successful. The doctor tells Jax no drinking for now, and Jax wonders how he’s going to survive going to NASCAR and wine country.

Lisa goes into SUR and notices the red bottoms on Lala’s ankle boots. In her interview, Lisa says either Lala is blowing her rent money on shoes or something else is going on. Lala tells Lisa about the birthday trip. She wonders how she’s going to share one bathroom with everyone else. In her interview, Lisa says that Lala loves to create situations and then play the baby girl, and life doesn’t work like that. She gives Lala the sage advice not to take her top off at NASCAR.

James and Raquel go out to lunch. In his interview, James says they have a lot in common. Like eating food. I’m not kidding. That’s what he said. Raquel talks about a beauty contest she has coming up and stresses about walking in a bathing suit and heels. Beautiful people problems. She asks if he got his job back at PUMP, and he says he’s talking to Lisa tomorrow. He tells Raquel that leaving there was like leaving his family. He says if Lisa turns him down, he’s going to keep asking every month.

Jax gets home and Brittany tucks him in on the couch. She explains that his chest is going to be concave until the swelling goes down, and he freaks a little. In her interview, she says he’s needy and grumpy, and constantly asking for food, pretty much like he always is. Schwartz comes by with Tom, bearing gifts of a Hooters T-shirt and a service bell. I’m sure Brittany is ecstatic about the bell. Jax asks if Scheana has decided about the trip. Schwartz says he has no clue, but his main job is just keeping Katie calm.

Stassi’s mother and eleven-year-old brother visit her. Her mother complains about there not being any central air when she’s going through menopause. A girl calls through FaceTime on her brother’s tablet, and Stassi answers it even though he begs her not to. She teases him, but then tells him he can take it in the bedroom. In her interview, she says that she and her brother are very close, which is pretty obvious.

Stassi and her mother discuss the pattern of Stassi and Patrick breaking up and making up. In her interview, Stassi says this time it seems serious and real. She tells her mom about Scheana fighting with the girls, and says she hasn’t spoken with her since.

Scheana and her mother go for mani-pedis. Her mom asks if she’s spoken to the girls. Scheana says she woke up wishing it was just a bad dream. Her mom says that she saw Stassi crying in the bathroom and Scheana doesn’t understand how things get so blown out of proportion. Her mother asks if she thinks Katie will be mad enough to drop her as a bridesmaid, and tells Scheana to fix it soon. Scheana says the Montauk trip is giving her anxiety.

Stassi asks her brother for advice. He asks who started the fight and how much they had to drink, her in particular. Ha-ha! She tells him what Scheana was saying to Katie, and he tells her that her problem is getting in other people’s business. Stassi says sometimes people don’t know when they should apologize, and he says Scheana has to figure that out for herself and Stassi isn’t the boss of everyone. This kid is quite savvy. In her interview, Stassi says she’s not going to listen to an eleven-year-old. I’m not sure why, since he’s apparently more mature than she is.

It’s Ariana’s birthday, so she’s put on her tiara. We flash back to last year when Tom ditched her birthday for Las Vegas, and he says this year he’s planned the birthday trip of a lifetime for her. Lala and James arrive. Is James’s shirt distressed or is he just a slob? In his interview, James says it’s the second year he hasn’t been invited to Ariana’s birthday. He understood last year, but says this time it’s because of Jax. Lala asks if Jax has any problem with her, but Ariana says no. James tries to worm his way into being invited, but Ariana stands firm. She doesn’t want any arguing on the trip. Good luck with that, even without James.

James goes to see Lisa at SUR. When she sees him, she goes ugh! and I laugh. He tells her he misses working there and blah-blah-blah. He curses and she tells him it’s disrespectful. She says she thinks she did him a favor by letting him go. In his interview, James thinks he’s the king of everything and the best DJ in the world. Lisa tells him that he acted like an arrogant little punk and she doesn’t employ arrogant little punks. He says Jax works for her, and she says he doesn’t act out at work. James begs to differ, and Lisa is like, nice, you drop an F-bomb and then call me a liar. She tells him her life is better without him. He keeps yammering on, saying he’s sober now, and Lisa tells him maybe he should investigate another career path. She tells him time is money and asks if they’re done. In her interview, she says you don’t know what you have until it’s gone, and James is gone.

The friends gather at the airport to fly to San Francisco. Lala isn’t there. Both Ariana and Tom have texted her, but Ariana only got a question mark and exclamation point as a reply. In her interview, Ariana wonders if Lala is standing them up. Tom tries to FaceTime her. They board the plane. Still no Lala. Tom says he’ll be pissed if anyone messes up the trip and it’s not looking good for Lala showing up.

Next time, the Montauk trip, the NASCAR trip, and no one can find Lala.

December 20, 2016 – Tom Uncaged, Erika Sans Underwear & Caroline #1 Unhinged

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Elizabeth introduces Tom’s brother, Seth, to Franco. Seth hasn’t seen Tom since he stopped working at GH. He knows Franco threatened Tom, and Elizabeth asks Franco if he did anything.

Tom gets out of the cage. He tries to get the shock collar off.

Laura talks to herself, practicing a thank you speech. Doc hears her and asks if she needs a psychiatrist. She says she’s trying to come up with something coherent to say to the committee. He says the meeting is just a formality for her joining the hospital board. He suddenly realizes she’ll be his boss. Well, kinda, but not really. That’s still Monica.

Anna flashes back to someone whistling the song that Valentin taught Charlotte. She asks Charlotte if she can tell her anything more about the song, like how Valentin learned it.

Lulu tells Dante she has no intention of giving Charlotte back.

The alarms next to Hayden’s bed go off. She’s not breathing.

Tom finally gets the collar off and kicks some things around. He tries to open the door, but it’s locked.

Seth says Franco came over to his house, which is breaking and entering, never mind the assault. He says that Tom always answers his texts, and unless he gets some answers, he’s going to the police. Code blue is called, and Elizabeth jets. Franco says he’s sorry he resorted to violence, since violence is almost never the answer, but on the other hand, can Seth blame him for wanting to protect Elizabeth? Seth says he can’t.

Lulu asks Charlotte to come sit with her and Dante. Charlotte wants to stay with Emma, but Anna convinces her to go. Emma asks why Anna keeps asking about the song, and she says she just thinks she’s heard it before. She asks how she and Charlotte are getting along. Emma says they had fun, but she feels sorry for Charlotte because she hasn’t seen her mommy in a long time.

Lulu suggests that she and Charlotte look at the Christmas decorations, but Charlotte says she did that already. Lulu asks if she’d like to go to their house, but she says she wants to go home. This is going well.

Laura says she can separate her personal and professional life. Lucy comes along and congratulates Laura on being on the board. She mentions that Laura will be Doc’s boss.

Finn uses the defibrillator on Hayden. He screams at Hayden to start fighting, but nothing happens. Elizabeth tells Finn it’s been too long, but he refuses to quit. Her pulse comes back. Elizabeth says there might be complications, but Tracy thinks she’ll probably come back more irritating than she was before. Finn tells Hayden not to make a liar out of Tracy. He asks her to come back for him. He thinks they have a chance to “you know,” and says they have unfinished business. He says, sweetheart, come back to me, and Hayden opens her eyes. She asks if he just called her sweetheart.

Seth tells Franco if he finds out that Tom met with foul play, he’ll be the first stop. Franco says maybe he’s out on a bender, and thinks Seth should be more concerned that Tom is out causing trouble.

Tom yells his head off while the music continues to play. He digs around until he finds a paint scraper. He tries to open the door with it.

Lucy tells Laura not to play favorites just because she and Doc are in love. She steers Laura toward the meeting, babbling about what Laura needs to know.

Anna tells Emma that Charlotte has her father too, but Emma says Anna doesn’t like him. She tells Anna that Charlotte loves her father. Emma is starting to remind me of a young Margaret O’Brien.

Lulu asks if Charlotte wants to go ice skating, but she repeats that she wants to go home. Dante suggests that she help them decorate the tree, but that’s also a no. Valentin walks in and Charlotte runs to him.

Hayden wants to know why everyone’s looking at her. Tracy says she died, and Finn says just a little. She says she must be in hell, but Elizabeth says it’s just GH. She talks about seeing a white light, and when they all go, really? she says no. Ha-ha! Tracy tells her that Elizabeth helped save her, and Hayden says she guesses they’re even now. Elizabeth leaves to do nurse stuff. Finn says he was so afraid he’d die on her, he never thought of her dying on him.

Seth tells Franco that Tom still has bad impulses. Franco says he’s done some bad things, but there’s someone in his life who inspires him now, and he’s going to keep trying. Seth says maybe Tom will meet someone like that, but Franco says he already has, and he’s not going to do anything to risk losing her because of someone like Tom. He suggests Seth go home, and says Tom will probably show up by tomorrow. After he’s gone, Elizabeth tells Franco that she heard what he said and hugs him. She says Hayden almost died, and she realizes how much time she’s wasted.

Tom has no luck getting the door open, but is able to stop the music. He screams for help.

Emma asks why Anna doesn’t like Charlotte’s dad. Anna says she just has a couple of questions about him because he’s a mystery she needs to solve. Emma says she can go on a playdate to Windemere and get her some answers. Already a budding spy like her parents.

Charlotte asks Valentin if they’re going home. He says he needs to talk to Lulu and asks her to sit at another table. Lulu asks why he’s there, and he says Nina was concerned that she might not return Charlotte. She says Charlotte is her daughter too, and he’s interfering with their time together. He tells Lulu that they have to come up with an equitable way to share her. He goes back to Charlotte, and Lulu tells Dante that he’s playing games. She says she’s going to take Charlotte and run. Dante is like, bad idea, and she says she’s going to fight for full custody.

Finn tells Hayden that her organs are shutting down, and Hayden asks how they stop that. He says he has an idea but needs more information. He thinks he’s discovered a cure, but if it doesn’t cure her, it could kill her.

Anna tells Emma that under no circumstances is she to spy on Charlotte and her father. She’ll get answers herself without Emma’s help. She says Emma isn’t going to Windemere without supervision either. Valentin comes over to introduce himself to Emma, and asks if she’d like to help Charlotte eat some cookies. She goes off to join Emma, and Valentin tells Anna he hopes Emma and Charlotte can be friends despite how she feels about him. Anna says that’s fine, and he’s lovely with his daughter. She asks him about the song and if it has lyrics. He says they’re in Russian, and asks if she speaks it. She says he already knows she does.

Dante tells Lulu that she should rethink fighting for full custody. He says Charlotte barely knows her.

Elizabeth doesn’t want to keep herself at a distance, and end up thinking what might have been. She tells Franco that she doesn’t want to waste any more time not trusting him. Franco says if she really ever wants to talk about his past, that’s fine. She says he’s changed and so has she. They kiss. He says he has to go, and she says that’s the story of her life. He tells her that he wants Christmas to be perfect, but Elizabeth says that she’ll settle for peaceful and uninterrupted. He says he’ll make her believe in Santa again. Ho-ho-ho.

Tom continues to holler. He says nobody is going to help him. He picks up a chair and puts it down again, sitting in it.

Finn tells Hayden that he was going to test the cure on himself, but she needs it more. She asks if he can make more of it, and he says probably. He says they need to make a decision now, because if she flatlines again, she won’t make it back a second time. She asks what happens to him, and he says they’ll figure it out. He asks if she wants to take the chance.

Laura tells Lucy that her first act will be to secure the funds for the Nurses Ball. Lucy says for once a board member with the sense God gave a goose. She tells them to get back to what they were doing before her interruption, and if anyone can handle an employee romance, it’s them. Doc tells Laura that he’d put her on the spot when he told her he loved her, and wonders if they can just continue to move forward She says she doesn’t know if that’s possible.

Dante tells Lulu that it’s too early to fight for full custody, and they should see how it goes. She says she can’t let a murderer raise her daughter. Dante says to look at it from Charlotte’s perspective. If Lulu takes away her father, she’s not going to score any points.

Valentin and Anna discuss speaking Russian. Valentin tells Anna that the phrase he learned as, “Don’t give up” really translated to “Hold your tail as a weapon.” She seems to recognize this, but doesn’t say anything.

Elizabeth asks Hayden how she’s doing. Hayden says she’s just in time to say good-by before Finn gives her what could be a miracle drug or a lethal injection.

Franco gets back, and Tom has returned to the cage. He tells Tom that Santa came early for him this year; he’s letting him go. I would not trust Tom as far as I could kick him, and I think he probably has a weapon.

Laura says ever since Doc said he loved her, she hasn’t been able to think of anything else. She wakes up with a happy feeling for no other reason. She says she finds herself smiling throughout the day. She doesn’t know if it’s the right time, but she can’t hold back anymore – she loves him too. He tells her he loves her and they kiss. Lots of that happening today. She realizes she’s going to be late, and Doc says go get ‘em.

Dante says if Lulu wants what’s best for Charlotte, she’ll wait and let Charlotte spend time with her. Anna comes to get Dante. Valentin tells Charlotte to say good-by to Lulu and thank her. She hugs Lulu and runs off. Valentin tells Lulu that he’s sorry that they got off to a rough start.

Anna tells Dante that she’s certain she’s crossed paths with Valentin before, and it has to be when she was training for the WSB

Lulu tells Valentin that Charlotte will know her as her mother sooner than he thinks. She’s suing for full custody.

Franco tells Tom that after talking to Elizabeth, he wondered what he’s doing and that it’s wrong. Tom deserves to be punished, but it’s not Franco’s job. He tells him to leave Elizabeth alone and they can get on with their lives. He unlocks the cage and Tom gets out. He grabs Franco from behind and puts a cloth over his nose and mouth.

Elizabeth tells Hayden they’ll fight like the sisters they are for the rest of their lives. Tracy says it’s no fun putting her in her place when she’s down, so she has to fight to get better. Hayden tells Finn that if she makes it, she’ll never let him go. He says he’ll find a way to keep going and kisses her.

Tracy and Elizabeth watch as he gives her the shot.

Tomorrow, Sonny asks Jason what he knows, Tom turns the tables on Franco, and Heather wonders why Elizabeth would be visiting her.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

LisaR is going to NYC to visit one of her daughters who’s starting a modeling career.

Kyle is also there with her daughter Sophia. She goes to the city often, and rotates who she brings along, but says Sophia is most like her. They both have so much anxiety about everything, I’m surprised they can handle it.

LisaV visits Dorit with Harrison. She’s planning Ken’s next birthday, and wants some help in finding a gift. Last year, she got him a mini pony, but I think it was really for her. Dorit says Lisa brings out the fun in her, and they’re two peas in a pod.

Erika has some shows coming up and is also working on a new video. She comes to rehearsal and watches what the dancers have been working on so far. Her assistant gives her the schedule of the million things that need to be dealt with.

Dorit and LisaV go to a jewelry store to look at watches. Lisa sets Harrison on the counter and wipes his nose with her dress. Celebrities! They’re just like us! The clerk doesn’t bat an eye. Lisa is shown an over-blinged almost-a-million dollar, watch, but says if she buys it, she’ll have nothing left over for shoes. The perfect watch is found. Lisa likes Dorit because she isn’t super sensitive.

Kyle is opening a store in NYC since she did so well in the Hamptons. She takes a look at the space. LisaR joins her. Lisa says it’s a great area. It’s on the Upper East Side and Kyle says they’ll have to sell a lot of dresses to pay the rent. Truth! Kyle wants Harry to help out with some shelf-building. In her interview, Lisa explains that he’s handy that way, being too cheap to hire someone. Lisa says that Kyle will have to get in line, because everyone wants a piece of Harry.

LisaR talks to Kyle about making up with LisaV. Kyle says it’s good that LisaV said she wants to move on. In her interview, Kyle says that the things she’s gone through with LisaV are small in comparison with what went on with LisaR, but she thinks it’s all going to be put in a box and put away. In other words, swept under the rug.

Dorit’s baby has to wear a headband due to sleeping too much on one side and flattening her skull. (!) Dorit says she loves her kids, but depends on her nannies who are an extension of her. Her son arrives back from speech therapy. She’d started getting concerned when at 2, he wasn’t making an effort to speak. She’s worried that she’s not seeing as much progress as she’d like. He does want to drive the car though, so maybe he’s not as behind as she thinks. She says it would be easier to get Boy George to date women than negotiate with a two-year-old. Another truth!

Eileen and Vince are going to her mother’s house for a final good-by. In her interview, Eileen chokes up, talking about how when her mother first started struggling with dementia, she was aware of it and afraid. They look at family photos. She says in some ways, it’s a relief that her mother isn’t suffering anymore. The house has been sold, and she says it’s a certain finality in saying good-by to everything that was her mother. She says closing the door to the house is symbolic of closing the door to her mother’s physical existence on earth, but she’s still there in spirit. I so understand and empathize with how she feels, as I had a similar experience when my father passed away, although he died suddenly and had no lingering illness.

LisaR says a part of her wants to reach out to Yolanda, but she screwed it up, and has to live with it. We flash back to all that. She’s meeting with some of her daughter’s modeling people. They discuss Delilah’s career and her manager thinks she’s on the fast track. Lisa talks about her labor pains and how big Delilah’s head was when she was born. Delilah is embarrassed and so am I. She talks about everyone thinking Delilah was deformed and Harry asking for a hat. Some photos are taken.

Harrison! Tiny ponies! Giggy! When are LisaV and Ken going to adopt me? Lisa gives Ken his present, and we flash back to the birthday parties she’s thrown for him. This year, it’s just going to be the two of them. He loves the watch. It is pretty nice. She says the greatest gift she’s given Ken is the children…and a bj in the car. They compare Giggy and Harrison’s hair loss. Lisa says Harrison went from the pound to a palace. Really, I won’t take up much space. They’ll never even know I’m there.

Lisa is looking for an apartment for Max. She says before they help their children, they like them to struggle first. She’s seen him live in a grubby place, so now it’s time for a surprise. She says he’s worked hard and deserves to live better now. I like this idea. Everyone should have the experience of living on their own for a while, whether they have to or not.

Kyle meets LisaR for dinner with their girls. Lisa says they’re still like 2 and 3 in her mind. She’s leaving them by themselves for two nights, and she’s a little worried. She says the worst that could happen is they disappear, which would be pretty bad. Kyle asks what they have planned, since it’s not like they can go to clubs. The girls just look at each other and say of course not.

Delilah checks out a dating app and freaks at who she’s matched with. She explains to LisaR that you can’t even get on it without being special. Obviously, it’s not Tinder. Lisa wants to know how much she paid for it. Kyle thinks it’s sketchy at only nine bucks a month. Lisa explains she has to go to QVC and wants to be told everything is going to be okay. She says no dating app stuff while she’s gone. Kyle suggests no dates in the city.

Eileen feels like she can’t focus, so it’s time for some therapy. She tells her therapist that it’s almost embarrassing to have lost so many people and having to keep sharing the information. The therapist asks if there’s a limit on how many people are allowed to die. Eileen lists all the people close to her who have passed away recently, and it’s a lot. She can’t understand why she feels the way she does. She talks about the disconnect between her parents, and says she was embarrassed that her parents didn’t get along when she was younger. The therapist says her knee-jerk reaction to things is shame. Interesting. She tells Eileen to stop trying to make things okay for everyone else. Eileen wants to work on being in the moment with what she’s feeling, and if she knew how much I hate that term, she wouldn’t use it in order to make everything okay. That’s my knee-jerk reaction from having heard it in acting school every five minutes.

Kyle calls Mauricio who’s in Mexico. She’s getting ready for a white party. Isn’t that racist? She calls LisaV with a fashion emergency – she needs nude-colored underwear because the white ones are showing through her jumpsuit. Some of the group gathers for a kiki before the party. Kyle tells them they’ve cast Alicia Siverstone to play her mother in the new show about her early life. Erika talks about her upcoming gig on The Young and the Restless. She’s praying she doesn’t disappoint Eileen. LisaV talks about her early acting career, and Ken suggests they were silent films. Erika is slightly taken aback and Ken says it’s just British humor. Erika says lets all put on British accents and insult each other, but PK says they don’t see it that way; it’s self-depreciation. Dorit thinks Americans should chill out and Erika reminds her she was born in Connecticut.

Dorit talks about how poised Erika is, and Erika says she’s guarded when she first meets people. LisaV explains that Kyle needs underwear, but Erika says she doesn’t have any. Why should she break up a beautiful design with a pantyline? I catch PK trying to take a look. Erika claims that she’s actually a shy introvert, but Dorit’s not buying it. They all leave for the party.

PK and Dorit discuss the party the next day. PK says the scenery was good, referring to Erika not wearing underwear. He says he couldn’t help but notice early on. Dorit says she doesn’t know if Erika deliberately flashed, but she doesn’t blame PK for being a man. He tells her about how distracting it was. Dorit says that she would never put on a free show like that, but thinks Erika has a good sense of humor, so she’s going to approach her about the whole thing. That ought to be good.

Next time, LisaR does her QVC thing, Dorit complains about Erika, and Erika receives a gift of underwear.

✈ A note on Ladies of London – the British highborn – they curse just like us! Caroline #1 refuses to be told what to do (i.e. have some manners), and leaves Mapperton early. Juliet leaves with her because she’s a brownnoser loyal. Julie seems to think a title intimidates Caroline. I think it’s way more than that, although I can’t fathom being intimidated by a title. It’s not like anybody works to get one. My husband is a marquis. You know what it’s gotten us? Nothing. And rightly so. Although I would like a nice castle…

I have to mention too, how much I like Caroline #2. She’s a little hippie-dippy, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone so endearingly sincere, especially on a reality show.

 

 

December 19, 2016 – The Battle for Charlotte Begins & Scheana Battles to be Liked

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Anna sees Dante. She tells him about her conversation with Griff, discussing Charlotte’s parentage. She asks how he’s holding up. He says it’s bad enough that Valentin is walking around town, but now he shares a child with Lulu. Anna says that Charlotte is lucky that Lulu’s her mom, and Dante has to agree with that. He says they have to settle some things before confronting Valentin.

Lulu goes to Windemere. She tells Valentin that she doesn’t care what story he tells her, she’s Charlotte’s mother and she’s ready for a fight. He says he has no intention of fighting with her.

Franco sees Elizabeth at the hospital. She says she’s been looking for him. She tells him that his landlord called the hospital about a noise complaint at his apartment because he couldn’t get him on the phone. The music is blasting. Franco says he can’t find his phone. Elizabeth asks what he has going on over there.

Franco’s phone is on the floor not far from the cage Tom is in. Tom tries to reach it, but it’s a little too far.

Tracy reads from the tabloids to a sleeping Hayden. Hayden asks her to stop; she’s trying to will herself to live. Tracy tells her that Finn thinks he’s found a cure.

Finn goes to the lab. (Is he allowed in there?) Brad comes in and asks what he’s doing there, answering my question. Brad says he’s going to call security, but Finn says he needs Brad’s help – it’s a matter of life and death.

Valentin asks Lulu if she’d like tea. She says she has no intention of sipping tea with the man who killed her brother. He says it was a misunderstanding, but she’s not budging. She tells him to give her Charlotte and stay out of their lives forever. He says he’s not relinquishing his parental rights, and she’ll have to learn to co-parent with him. Charlotte comes downstairs with Nina.

Anna and Dante discuss Charlotte. He says he loves Charlotte, but he’s not her dad. And it’s not like an adoption; she already has a father.

Valentin re-introduces Charlotte to Lulu. While Charlotte is occupied, Nina asks what’s happening. Valentin says he and Lulu were discussing Charlotte’s future. Lulu says there’s no future with the two of them. Nina says that Lulu just met Charlotte, and Valentin has been raising Charlotte her whole life. Lulu asks how it concerns her, since she’s nothing to Charlotte. Nasty.

Franco makes up some artistic reason for the music being so loud. Elizabeth leaves to do hospital stuff, and Franco asks himself where his cell phone is.

Tom continues to try and get the phone with a piece of wire he found.

Brad tells Finn that’s something addicts say, and he’s not turning a blind eye to anything. Finn says he’s not an addict, and Brad asks why he looks like one. Finn says he’s trying to save someone’s life, and Brad says he wants the whole truth.

Hayden tries to get up, but Tracy says denial doesn’t look good on her. She’s texted Elizabeth who’s coming to give Hayden something for her fever. Hayden asks why Tracy is taking care of her, since she hasn’t exactly won her over with charm. Tracy says because Hayden reminds her of someone who was arrogant and elitist, and Hayden tells Tracy to stop flattering her. Tracy says they were ruthless in business, and took a long time to care about someone, and let them care about her, and she’s hoping Hayden learns from her mistakes. Hayden thanks her, probably realizing that Tracy is talking about herself.

Finn explains everything to Brad. Brad says he’d only heard of someone in a distant country having the disease, and understands now that’s why Finn has been taking the drug. Finn says his supply is running low because he’s sharing with Hayden. He says it’s an accelerated case, but he might have found a cure.

Valentin says Charlotte adores Nina, and Lulu should accept that Nina has a place in her life. Lulu says she’ll make those decisions. He tells her he wants to go slow because up until now, Charlotte thought Claudette was her mother. Lulu thinks he’s trying to drive a wedge between them, but he says that’s not the case. Valentin suggests a playdate with Lulu to Charlotte.

Dante tells Anna about his concerns. She thinks he’s mourning the idea of not having another child of his own. She says that he loves Lulu and Charlotte is a part of her, so he’ll love Charlotte too. He says he wants to believe that, but it’s not going to be easy. He tells Anna that Valentin is a lunatic, and opening their doors to Charlotte means opening them to him too. Anna thinks he’s not going to be a threat much longer, and that she’s on to something.

Lulu tells Charlotte about the tree lighting ceremony at the MetroCourt. Valentin says Charlotte should go and show off her pretty dress, and that Lulu will take good care of her. Nina goes to get her coat. Lulu thanks Valentin, who tells her to make sure Charlotte is home before it’s too late. Lulu interrupts Nina putting on Charlotte’s gloves, and takes her outside. Nina asks Valentin if he’s out of his mind. On the porch, Lulu puts Charlotte’s gloves on, and says she knows they’ll have a wonderful time together.

Just as Brad asks Finn about one of the vials in the lab, ABC breaks in with something going on in Berlin, which they think is a deliberate attack. Okay, maybe this is important, but it still could have waited a whole half an hour.

Thank you, God. They’re going back to the show. They even said there’s no confirmation of anything and they know nothing. So why bother me with it???

Elizabeth and a doctor discuss Hayden’s condition. I’m assuming she got sent to the hospital while I was in Berlin. Her sepsis has come back, and they’re going to have to put her into a medically induced coma. She’s worried she won’t wake up, but the doctor says it can’t wait.

Nina asks why Valentin handed Charlotte over to Lulu when she clearly didn’t want to go. He wants to avoid conflict, but Nina says Lulu is like a kid with a new toy who doesn’t want to share. She thinks Lulu has other plans.

Anna tells Dante that she thinks Valentin burned down his old school to burn down his past. She also wants to find out where their paths have crossed. She can’t put him in context. She says he keeps taunting her with reminders of her past, but thinks he’s going to eventually slip up. Lulu and Charlotte join them.

Lulu introduces Dante to Charlotte. Anna tells Charlotte that Emma is downstairs, and takes Charlotte to see her. Lulu tells Dante that Charlotte has Nicholas’s eyes. She babbles a little, and Dante asks how this happened. She says she went to see Valentin, and Dante asks what she was thinking.

Valentin tells Nina that it took every ounce of will power. He says his move was strategic; if he deals with Lulu honestly, he’s hoping she’ll do the same. Nina thanks him for defending her place In Charlotte’s life. He says she has a place in his too. She asks what if she doesn’t want it, and he says he’ll let her go, but he’ll just chase her again, and they can save time by just being together now. They kiss.

Tom tells Franco he’s had his fun. He needs to check in with his parole officer, and it dawns on him that it’s Franco’s plan to get him sent back to prison. Franco tells him that bad dogs get sent back to the pound.

Finn’s phone rings. It’s Elizabeth. She tells him they had to bring Hayden back to the hospital. She says Hayden is scared and so is she.

Hayden thanks Tracy for everything. Tracy tells her she’s going to be okay. She falls asleep, and the doctor says it will take stress off her system. He can’t say whether she’ll live through the night though.

Brad finds Finn gone. Finn runs into Hayden’s room with a syringe in his hand.

Lulu tells Dante that she wasn’t sure where his head was at. These two always talk like they came from the late 60’s. He says she’s Charlotte’s mother and he’s on board. Anna brings the girls I-don’t-know-where. She parks them while she takes a call from Robert, who says it’s another dead end. Anna tells him that she’s not giving up.  When Anna returns, the girls are humming a song. She asks where they heard it, and Emma says Charlotte just taught it to her. She must be a quick learner.

Tom begs Franco not to send him back to prison, and says he’s changed. He says he’ll stay away from Franco and his friends, and give up photography. He threatens to tell the cops, and Franco says he doesn’t think so. He says Tom would be amazed what you can do with Photoshop. If Tom goes to the police, he’ll manipulate a photo of Tom to look like he went to an island somewhere.  Franco leaves.

Finn tells the doctor Hayden is his patient, and he’d like to discuss things with her family. Tracy tells him the doctor doesn’t expect her to make it through the night. He says he thinks he has a cure. He’s going to test it on himself, and it will either cure him or kill him.

Anna asks Charlotte who taught her the song, and she says poppa whistles it to her. Anna suggests they get some hot chocolate before the tree lighting. The girls continue to hum the song, and Anna flashes back to her younger self hearing someone whistle it.

Nina says she knows Valentin wants to spare Charlotte a custody battle, but she doesn’t think Lulu will back off. She tells him that he’s been painted as a villain, and she speaks from personal experience when she says there’s no telling how far someone will go when they’re trying to defend their child.

Lulu says she feels better hearing Dante say they’re together in this. She understands him having mixed feelings. He says they’re going to co-parent with the man who killed her brother. She says she has no intention of giving Charlotte back.

Franco goes back to the hospital. There’s a guy talking to Elizabeth, and she introduces him as Tom’s brother, Seth. She says he hasn’t seen Tom in a few days, and he wouldn’t know anything about that, right?

Tom gets the lock open and gets out of the cage.

Tracy says Finn can’t inject himself with something that hasn’t been tested. He says it’s no time for rational thinking. Hayden gave him back a part of his life that he didn’t think existed anymore. He gives Tracy something to give to Brad if the doctors can’t get to him in time. He asks her to make sure he’s not interrupted. She tells him just don’t die, and goes into the hallway to guard the door. He prepares the injection, but Hayden’s bedside alarms go off.

Tomorrow, Charlotte wants to go home, Elizabeth asks Franco what he did, and Tom screams his head off.

Vanderpump Rules

The servers gather before the restaurant opens. They discuss Ariana’s birthday. Scheana thinks that she hasn’t been invited because it’s common knowledge that she’s going to the Hamptons with Stassi that same weekend. Shay and Carter also have birthdays coming up, and there’s a combined surprise party where each thinks they’re going to the other one’s celebration.

Stassi says she loves SUR now that she doesn’t work there anymore. Yes, we all know how she feels about goat cheese balls. She’s been doing a podcast called Straight Up with Stassi. She tells Brittany that Jax would be a good fit to discuss reformed cheaters. He claims that Brittany is the woman who changed him, so she wanted to check with her first. Brittany is fine with it, saying the only thing that her Jax and Stassi’s Jax have in common is their name.

Ariana asks Scheana if she can talk with her and Katie in the back. She says it’s nothing bad, but certainly that will be a matter of opinion. Ariana says she knows there’s conflict with them and Lala, and Lisa suggested they meet and discuss. In her interview, Katie wonders what Ariana thinks she’s doing trying to broker a peace treaty, and feels that there are no more chances with Lala. Lala joins them, and Ariana asks how they can make things peaceful. Lala says she tried to apologize to Scheana, and feels like she got shut down. Ariana brings up the married man rumors, and Katie claims a video came out. Lala says they’re out of their minds, and she was actually covering up the guy she was really dating, who she just broke up with. Ariana says there’s been trashing on both sides. Lala tells them that she’s not going to apologize again, and she and Katie start to argue. In her interview, Scheana says she doesn’t know what to do, since she and Lala are friendly now. She apologizes for anything she’s said that hurt anyone’s feelings, and promises that not one word about anyone will pass her lips anymore. The meeting breaks up, and it seem like it was pretty useless.

Brittany tells Lisa about Stassi’s podcast. In her interview, Lisa says no matter what, Brittany is always smiling, and wonders where her pissed off face is. She tells Brittany she wouldn’t do it, but Brittany thinks everything is just dandy.

Stassi joins Katie on her break. Katie tells her about the meeting with Lala. Stassi asks if Katie apologized, and Katie tells her of course not, but Scheana did. Stassi says that Scheana is desperate to be liked. She says it’s like one of the victims apologizing to Charles Manson. She gets on her phone and starts texting Scheana. I feel the earth move under Twitter with 144 words coming from all over about Stassi’s insensitivity toward murder victims. #WhatAnIdiot

Brittany must explain to Jax how to hang a curtain rod. He’d rather hire someone, and needs a drink afterward. They discuss Stassi’s podcast. She says she trusts Jax and Stassi, but it’s going to be weird, since they’ll be discussing personal stuff. In his interview, Jax says when he looks back on his relationship with Stassi, it reminds him of Misery. We flash back to some choice moments. He says he prefers to be cordial with her because it’s safer.

Scheana drops by. She quit drinking when Shay did, but needs one right now. She tells them about the meeting. She says that later on she got endless texts from Stassi, and then a passive-aggressive text from Katie at around midnight. She thinks they were on the tequila.

Katie and Schwartz talk with the wedding planner on the phone. Katie says something about keeping it under 50K, and Schwartz nearly falls out of his chair. He says their budget is like a cartoon snowball that just keeps getting bigger. Stassi sneaks into their apartment in the background. In her interview, Katie suggests that Schwartz investigate other, less expensive options if he doesn’t like what she’s doing. Good point.

Kristen arrives. The girls tell Kristen about the meeting. in her interview, Kristen says Ariana is pulling a Schwartz. Stassi says if someone is willing to sacrifice their best friends to be liked, how can she trust them?

Scheana talks to Jax about the meeting, saying she feels like she’s being ganged up on. In his interview, Jax says he feels like Gandhi, who foretold the future, and then tries to figure out who Gandhi is.

Lisa comes by SUR and asks how it’s going. Ariana tells her about the mediation and how she feels like everyone had their say, but later Scheana got a load of negative texts. Lisa thinks they should just stop the bullsh*t. She was hoping this would stop her from having to hear about it again, but no such luck.

Stassi sets up her podcast in a bar. Jax looks at her equipment and asks if they’re going to search for ghosts. He brings up the meeting, and tells Stassi that Scheana thinks it’s a mean girl thing. Stassi says that’s what she does when she’s caught or wrong, whine that she’s being bullied.

In his interview, Jax says that Stassi isn’t wrong when she says he used to be a d-bag, but if he hadn’t been, he wouldn’t be who he is today. Words fail me. Stassi starts the podcast, saying that 48% of men cheat because of emotional dissatisfaction. Jax talks about how most men cheat down, but he had gorgeous women when he cheated because he wanted to know he still “had it.” Stassi suggests he sounds like someone who doesn’t care about anyone else’s feelings. She asks if he’ll take a sociopath test, and although he feels like he’s being backed into a corner, he agrees. In her interview, Stassi says Jax shouldn’t worry about being a sociopath, and lists the psychiatric profile of everyone on the show, including herself.

Lisa asks if Scheana is okay to work. Scheana says she’s okay as long as she doesn’t talk about it. She tells Lisa about Katie’s text. Katie comes by, and Lisa asks why Scheana is in tears. Katie says she doesn’t want to have a conversation about it tonight, and Scheana says she doesn’t want to talk about it at Shay’s party. Harrison! In her interview, Lisa wonders why she’s paying them, when they should be paying her for therapy.

Brittany helps Scheana set up for Shay’s party. She’s never been to a surprise party before, and Scheana says she’s never planned one before. Some of the other girls arrive. Tom is volunteered as bartender, even though he’s not there yet. Kristen creates a margarita baby pool and frets that people might not want to drink from it. Stassi says those aren’t their kind of friends then. Stassi talks to Kristen and Katie about Scheana, who she believes is getting worse.

The rest of the crew shows up. Schwartz has fetched the guests of honor, saying he was chosen for the role since he keeps his mouth shut. In his interview, Tom explains that both guys knew they were going to a surprise party, so technically it wasn’t one.

The party is in full swing, with guests drinking, playing in the pool, drinking, gossiping, drinking, and comparing abs, and drinking. Jax tells Tom and Schwartz that Scheana feels like it’s three against one again, and Schwartz says it’s like The Godfather where Scheana has to be concerned about her standing in the family. Kristen confronts Scheana, who is worried about her status as a bridesmaid, and about the coflicting trip to Montauk to maintain her friendship with Stassi.

Ariana asks Scheana if she thinks they’re going to work things out. Tom tells her that they can’t change the tickets for Ariana’s NASCAR post-birthday trip, so if things don’t work out for her, she doesn’t have the option of coming with them. Scheana is going to have a heart attack by the end of this episode. She seems like a nice girl, but she’s worse than James Wilson in 1776, seconding his own motion in his zeal to be liked. Not everyone is going to like you, and you can’t always have it both ways.

Schwartz talks to Shay on the side, asking him how it is being married. He tells Shay about the wedding budget issue and how he wanted to keep it under 15K. Shay just laughs. We flash back to the expense. Shay says he felt the same way, and they both think elopement equals a down payment on a house. Like this bunch doesn’t make more money in one year than I’ll make in a lifetime.

Brittany talks to Stassi, saying she doesn’t know what a sociopath is, but Jax failed the test miserably. They talk about forgiveness. Stassi says she wishes she could rise above things like Brittany does, but she needs to know if she can trust someone.

Stassi talks to Scheana, telling her that she should stand up for something. Scheana says she is – herself. Stassi says she’s not getting it because she hasn’t been hurt by Lala. Scheana calls Ariana over because she can’t fend for herself in a conflict. Ariana says she’s friends with both Lala and the other girls. Stassi says Ariana doesn’t grasp that Lala has done evil things to people. Stassi doesn’t understand how she can be friends with someone like that. Ariana says Stassi is so emotional, it’s difficult to talk to her, and asks why she’s so heated. Stassi goes into the house crying. She tells Katie that Ariana and Scheana suck. She explains what happened with Scheana dragging Ariana into their discussion.

Scheana joins them and wants to talk about it. Stassi says she pulled someone else into their conversation. Scheana says they all have the same opinion. Stassi tells her to stop being an a-hole. She says that it’s not about Lala, it’s about her, and her not caring that Lala has done terrible things to her friends. Schaena tells Katie that she seems like Tequila Katie again. In her interview, Scheana says that Schwartz has been saying the same thing. and she’s being accused of something that didn’t happen because they’re drunk and emotional. We flash back to some tense moments between Katie and Schwartz.

Katie says she can read Scheana like a book and she’s totally fake. Scheana goes back outside and tells Ariana what happened. In her interview, Scheana says that she never thought she was better than her friends, but she does now. Katie says she’s over it.

Next time, Scheana wonders if she’s going to be disinvited, Stassi says Scheana is exhibiting the opposite of bridesmaid behavior, and James approaches Lisa about coming back. As if.

⛷ Just a note about Timber Creek Lodge. When Jamie told someone “thanks for sharing” at a staff meeting, had I been an employee, I might have had to quit right then and there.

December 13, 2016 – Tom is Trapped, Dorit is Celebrating & Caroline #1 is Just Plain Rude

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Tom says Franco can’t keep him forever. Franco says he’s in there because of what he did to Elizabeth and clearly he hasn’t been rehabilitated. He tells Tom he’s going to make sure that he never hurts anyone again.

Hayden and Finn are talking and all of a sudden she has a seizure, and the alarms go off.

Carly asks Michael what’s up with his outfit. He says Nell felt under-dressed for the gala, so he made some modifications. He asks if Carly has seen Nell, and explains she was gone when he came back to the terrace.

Nell asks herself why she went with Michael when she knew it was only going to make things harder. She looks at her scar and says it doesn’t change what Carly did, and she deserves what she has coming.

Sonny asks Jason if he’s going to tell Carly what happened between him and Nell.

Carly tells Michael that maybe they got their wires crossed. Nell wouldn’t just leave when they were having a good time. He says maybe she’s right.

Nell looks at the note from her father that she keeps in a music/jewelry box. The kind with the ballerina that spins around. Her phone rings.

Sonny says Jason can’t run to Carly and tell her. Jason says he wasn’t going to do that, but he wants sonny to. Sonny says he’s not easing his conscience at Carly’s expense.

Michael and Carly discuss Christmas plans. She tells him that she and Sonny are getting along, and she’s probably spending most of Christmas at his house. Michael asks if they’re getting back together. She says she didn’t mean to imply that, but they are getting along, and she thinks it would be good for all of them to be together.

Tracy runs into Hayden’s room and tells Hayden she’s going to be all right. Finn injects a stabilizer. It’s the drug he’s been taking, and Tracy says she thought he was running low. He says he is, and it won’t keep them both alive much longer.

Tom tells Franco that he paid his debt to society. Tom asks what Franco deserves. Franco says he was sick, and Tom asks what he thinks this is. Franco says he’s doing a public service and protecting every woman who’s unlucky enough to cross Tom’s path. Elizabeth knocks at the door. Franco turns up the music, and gives Tom a shock on the collar before he can say anything. Franco tells him if he tries to take off the collar, he’ll turn it up to Irish Wolfhound.

Franco answers the door. Elizabeth says she’s on her dinner break, and she needs to talk to him about Tom.

Finn says now that he and Hayden are sharing, it’s two weeks tops. Tracy says she’ll call Sonny, but Finn says the last time was a problem, and this time someone might call the FBI. He says Hayden was exposed to a concentrated form of the disease, so it’s hitting her harder, and the shot will only keep her going one or two days. Tracy tells him to get to work and quit hovering around her; the only hope they have is for him to find a cure. She tells him to get on it before she has to bury him, and he has to bury Hayden. Hmm…that sequence doesn’t sound right.

Nell thinks about Michael. Then she thinks about Sonny. She texts Michael.

Michael tells Carly that Sonny wants her there for Christmas, but she shouldn’t get Sonny’s hopes up. Nell texts him that she wasn’t feeling well. He tells Carly that whatever she decides, he’s there for her and he loves them both.

Sonny asks Jason if he wants him to make Carly’s holidays worse by telling her about Nell. Jason says Carly will understand. Sonny says it’s not like Jason never kept a secret; he pretended to be Michael’s father for a year. Jason says that was to protect them. Sonny says keep the secret and he saves a family. If he tells Carly, he risks breaking them up for good.

Michael knocks at Nell’s door as she listens to her music box. He brought chicken noodle soup, ginger ale and her coat. She apologizes for leaving so abruptly. She says she had been dealing with a guest that was sick, then she felt sick, and she didn’t want to get him sick. He says she doesn’t feel warm, and she says she took something. He says if they’re ever out and she feels awkward or bored, to tell him the truth.

Sonny tells Jason that he’s not having an affair. Morgan died and he made a mistake; that’s not going to happen again. He asks if Jason is going to play God and tell her. Carly comes in. She says she brought a Christmas tree, and Jason can help unload it. She says they have kids and it’s important that they have a good Christmas. She asks what she walked in on.

Elizabeth wants to come in, but Franco says no; she’d see her present. He’s working on something that he feels strongly about, and Elizabeth thinks he’s making her something. He says nothing in the store would adequately express what she means to him. He came up with the perfect idea, but it’s only in the beginning stages.

Tracy says she’ll look after Hayden. She tells Finn, physician heal thyself, and while he’s at it, heal Hayden. Finn tells Hayden he has to go away for a bit. She asks him not to leave her alone, but he says there’s work to be done. She tells him she has someone else now, and calls him daddy. She says he’s never thought anyone was good enough, but she’s the one not good enough. She starts to describe Finn and says he’d like him. Finn plays along. She says when she’s being difficult, he gives it back to her, and they’re good for each other. She says Finn means end in French, and he’s her end. She doesn’t need to waste time looking for anyone else. She loves him.

Finn says he’s right there, and Hayden asks what happened. He says he has her stabilized and she says she’s never getting better just worse. Tracy suggests she’ll get better if Finn gets to work. Hayden tells him when he finds it to come back, and he says he’ll be bringing skates.

Sonny tells Carly that he and Jason were talking about Morgan. She asks Jason if he knows who did it, and Jason says not yet, but he’s making progress. He says he knows the holidays will be tough, the first Christmas without Morgan, and wants her to know he’s on it. He says he cares very much about all of them and wants them to be okay. Carly says no promises, but they’re working on it.

Nell apologizes to Michael, and says she should have just told him the truth. Michael says it’s on him. She made it clear she wanted to keep things professional, and he twisted her arm to come. She says it’s not like she left because she was having a bad time; she was having a great time. She’s the one who should have held back to not blur the lines He says he needed a friend, and thought she needed one too.

Franco tells Elizabeth that it’s not like anything he’s ever done before, but if it doesn’t work out, he’ll get her a slinket, a blanket with sleeves. She says she’d rather have what he’s making, but she wanted to talk about Tom. She says she doesn’t want him making it worse when things are good right now. She says she doesn’t need him to vanquish Tom. He asks what that means, and she tells him that she doesn’t need him to be a hero; he already is to her.

Nell tells Michael she could use a friend. When Carly offered her the job, she thought it was exciting to start over, but didn’t realize how lonely it would be. Everything is unfamiliar and overwhelming.She wonders if she made the right decision, and thinks maybe her life in Atlanta meant more to her than she thought. He asks why she ran, and she says his mom is her boss and the job is the only thing she has. Michael says he’ll leave her alone. She says the truth is, she’d hate it if he never bothered her again. They both need a friend, and if things get complicated, so what? Life is full of complications.

The tree is set up. Sonny says no matter how many people are in the house… Someone will be missing, Carly finishes. She says they should all be together and miss him here. She says it’s supposed to be about joy, but if they’re together they can be sad together as Morgan’s family. She tells Jason he’s included too, and he thanks her. She asks him what’s on his mind.

Elizabeth tells Franco that maybe he’s not a traditional hero, but to her he is one. He says maybe they read different comic books, and that heros should do everything they can to keep everyone safe. She says Tom hasn’t done anything. Fracno adds, yet. She says if she could wave a magic wand and never see him again, she would, but neither one of them have that power. They can only move forward together. He says he wants that, and she’s like, just do it.

Hayden thinks Tracy is her mother. Tracy says she isn’t, and Hayden says that her father wasn’t her father, and now she doesn’t want to be her mother. She asks if she reminds her of the affair, a reminder of her life’s greatest failure. Tracy says that’s not true. She’s not her biggest failure, the only failure is her. She failed her daughter.

Finn yells at his notes, asking them why they keep failing (word of the day). He apologizes to Roxie for scaring her. He says if it doesn’t happen soon, Hayden will die. He’s thisclose and wonders what he’s missing. He gives Roxie some treats. He talks about her losing scales to make way for shiny new ones and has an epiphany. He talks about getting rid of what’s unusable to make way for what is.

Tracy tells Hayden that she wasn’t a good mother; she was harsh and judgmental and cold, but not because she didn’t care – she was inept. Even though she was raised by the sweetest woman, she put business and profit first. We realize she’s talking about herself now. Hayden says things can always change. Tracy says she doesn’t have to live the way she did yesterday, and she loves Hayden. Hayden says she loves her too. She says she found someone to love, but it’s too late to do anything about it.

Finn picks up Roxie and a syringe, and says maybe she’ll be saving Hayden’s life.

Elizabeth asks Franco to spend the holiday with her and the boys. He says he’d do anything for her. She tells him not to overboard with the kids. She has to get back to work, and asks him to meet her for coffee later. He says his project is at a critical phase, and he wants to keep going. They say good-by.

Tom fiddles with the lock on the crate, but stops when Franco comes back in. Franco says he wants them to get along in their time together, and doesn’t want to use the shocker. Tom says he doesn’t want to die, but Franco says he’s not that guy. Elizabeth has changed him. He’s not going to kill Tom, just end his life as he knows it.

Jason says it’s great to see two of his best friends getting along, and hopes it’s a sign of things to come. Carly does too. She says she’ll be in touch about Christmas, and leaves. Sonny asks Jason if he’s going to say anything.

Nell tells Michael that she really did have a good time. Michael says tell him if things get awkward, and she says she’ will. He leaves, and she goes back to her music box. She takes out a baby rattle.

Jason tells Sonny that it’s important that Carly heal, and she might not be able to if the truth comes out. But if she asks why he’s acting weird, he’ll make up a story. He asks that Sonny do right by his family, and Carly.

Tomorrow, Sam tells Maxie a secret, Ava wants to help Julian, and Alexis says she can’t do this.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

I love how these girls always say some tragedy changed their outlook on everything, but it never happens. They’re still the same pot stirrers they were before.

Kyle picks up LisaR in her Lamborghini. Lisa says if her husband brought one home, she’d think aliens had taken over his body. Kyle talks about going to get burgers after Erika’s birthday party because they were starving. Lisa tells Kyle that her name got changed to Doritos on the phone when she tried to call. Then it changed to Cheerios. Autocorrect – always good for a laugh.

LisaV is doing some riding. In her interview, she says Ken bought her a horse when she was in her 20s and she’s loved them ever since. She talks about going to a show that’s like Cirque du Soliel for horses, and she’s getting one that’s retiring. She points out that his “winkie” is out, and tells him to put that back. No surprise, he’s beautiful. Lisa says she prefers animals to people and I’m down with that. She tells Ken about talking to LisaR at the party, and that Dorit has only seen one side of these girls.

LisaR tells Kyle how she’s come to believe you have to accept people for what they are. In her interview, Kyle says LisaV should either forgive both Eileen and LisaR or neither of them. I dunno. Doesn’t some of that depend on them?

LisaV tells Ken that Dorit seemed to enjoy herself at Erika’s party. She thinks that because she and Dorit have so many friends in common for so many years, she won’t be listening to the trash talk.

Dorit is getting ready for her own party. Her husband is putting it together all on his own. She says he’s not too good at detail though, so she consults with his party planner. She says she’s crazy until she knows everything is done. She thinks PK might be buying her a car for her birthday. She says if it’s Tiffany blue, she won’t be able to fake a smile, because that color should only be on a box with something pretty inside. I could argue that a Maserati is exactly that.

PK presents Dorit with a rose gold Bentley. She tells him he can count on her for a yes to anything for life. She goes for a test drive.

Kyle and LisaR go to the gym. Her daughter Alexia joins them. Kyle wants to spend time with her before she goes back to school in Boston. They do a rowing class.

Eileen gets hair and makeup done at the studio. The Young and the Restless is celebrating their 11,000th episode, and the cast is doing interviews about their favorite moments on the show. We flash back to Eileen’s first scene. She brings up the storyline when her character got an abortion. She says if she could do her own story arc, Ashley would be an Erika Jayne, slaying it in gay clubs. I think she has a girl crush on Erika.

Erika auditions backup dancers. Her 10th video is coming up. We see clips of her various videos, my favorite being How Many F**ks Do I Give? She’s looking for two things – can you nail the steps and are you sexy? She approaches things in an in-your-face way, and expects the same from her dancers. After some dancing, her assistant tells the dancers they can leave so the team can talk about them. They go through the resumes and photos. We see a picture of Erika when she was practically a toddler putting shows on at home. The dancers are chosen. Wardrobe is discussed. Erika is concerned about doing the splits in a bikini.

One of LisaR’s daughters is making zucchini pasta. She says she’d rather have regular pasta and I concur, although if someone else made it, I’d eat it. Lisa says her mother was not a great cook. She was big on casseroles, frozen dinners, and Jello. The girls say they think the only thing she’s ever made for them is macaroni and cheese. (Probably the Kraft kind.) Daughter Delilah has been going to casting calls in NYC. In her interview, and her sister is showing a little sibling jealousy.

Dorit’s party is being set up. I can assure you that means more than putting bowls of chips and dip out. Dorit is having an anxiety problem where her nose runs, and I’ve never heard of such a thing.

The guests begin to arrive, taken to the front door in golf carts. LisaV thinks it seems sedate, and this is just the tip of the iceberg. She talks to some soccer player who I have no clue about. Dorit makes her entrance, and is also hoping there’s more to the party than just having drinks in the living room. Lisa compliments her on losing the baby weight. She talks to Dorit about Erika’s party. Dorit thinks all the women were cool, but in her interview, Lisa says she thought Eileen was pretty cold to her and I agree.

Kyle and Mauricio arrive. Everyone compliments each other on how good they look. LisaR tells Dorit they’re practically neighbors. LisaV keeps throwing shade at LisaR, but LisaR thinks it’s progress. At least they’re communicating. In her interview, LisaV says she likes it when LisaR isn’t calling her a manipulative bitch. She tells Kyle she gave them the power to cause her pain, but now she’s taking it back. In her interview, Kyle says she doesn’t think Lisa ever gave anything away she didn’t want to.

Eileen thinks it seems strange for what happened between her and LisaV to just disappear. She says she’s trying to figure out how to be okay. She’s sure LisaR is too, but their approaches are different. She and LisaV make small talk, and it’s extremely awkward. Lisa says she sorry about Eileen’s father passing away, and Eileen starts laughing because she though Lisa was going to apologize for causing her angst last season. Please. Let it go already. How many sorrys does she want?

Kyle asks if Boy George is coming by, but Dorit says he’s on tour. Kyle is disappointed since she wanted to borrow some eyeliner. Erika shows up in a T-shirt, and in her interview, Dorit says the invite said “stunning.” In her interview, Erika points out that her T-shirt dress came straight off the runway. Well, it might have, but it did look dowdy next to the gowns. She looked like she was going to a totally different party. She gives Dorit a Chanel cosmetic bag that she wanted for herself, but they only had one. Everybody mingles.

Eileen tells LisaV when she offered condolences, she thought she was apologizing again. Lisa asks if she’s mad, meaning out of her mind. In her interview, Eileen says she doesn’t want any misunderstandings. In her interview, Lisa says hell would freeze over before she apologized again. Kyle thinks Lisa can be a little rude.

Dorit’s parents introduce themselves around. PK makes an announcement. He says anyone who knows them, knows they don’t do low key or boring. He welcomes them to Dorit’s Buddha Lamp.

He opens the door to a sort of disco. It has a sushi bar and all kinds of lighting effects. Dorit wonders how on earth PK was able to create this in their backyard. Erika says he did well – smoke, lights, ice sculptures, she’s down. There’s a wall of red roses that says happy birthday. LisaV says she knew something big was going on. Dorit is thrilled and says she couldn’t have done it better. The two Lisas dance with Kyle. In her interview, LisaR says she’s never going to get an apology, so she’s done the forgiving and she can move on. She apologizes to LisaV for being hard her, and LisaV is pretty shocked. She says it gives her hope for the future.

Erika is having water because she has a stomach bug. Great. Thanks for telling us after we’ve kissed you, hugged you, and shook your hand. She’s like that person who says they’re sick just as the elevator door closes. Everyone mingles, eats, drinks, dances and has a wonderful time. PK talks about his wasted youth. In her interview, LisaV talks about being glad they have mutual friends there, because sometimes her British humor gets her in trouble.

Eileen is talking with Dorit, and LisaV joins them. Eileen suddenly wonders where her husband is, and Lisa jokes that he’s in the corner with a woman, which doesn’t exactly endear her to Eileen. PK asks everyone to come out to the dance floor. He brings over a throne and has Dorit sit in it. He tells everyone that she’s the reason for his strength. He gets all teary and praises her, and everyone laps it up. She runs up on stage and hugs him. In her interview she says he outdid himself and has a beautiful way of showing his love to her. I’m definitely impressed.

LisaR thinks this is as good as it’s going to get with LisaV, and hopes that it’s closure and they move on. Eileen tells them about LisaV’s joke. In her interview, Eileen says she can take a joke, but also has an idea of who Lisa is, and thinks her British humor is a little loaded. Dorit jokes that she guesses that she’s not having a cake this year. Although there’s probably a two-story, gold-leafed cake hiding behind the neighbor’s house.

Next time, Harrison goes jewelry shopping, LisaR’s daughters teach her about dating apps, and Eileen says good-by to the family home.

A note on Ladies of London. Marissa’s baby is back in the hospital, so she missed the field trip to Mapperton. This means she also missed Julie telling us all about how the sandwich came to be named, and also that the Sandwich Islands in Hawaii are a tribute to the Earl of sandwich. Caroline #1 continues to be a rude, self-absorbed a-hole, or as Juliet put it, she’s turned into Madonna. She acts like a five-year-old during their time at the estate, not only arriving there three hours late, but being over an hour late to dinner. Unfortunately, Caroline #2 is feeling the repercussions of what she let slip to the press about her father’s illness, and his wife (of which there have been many) is being really nasty to her. This is a shame, since she seems like a sensitive human being. Next time, Caroline #1 continues to spread her lack of good cheer. Hopefully, three ghosts will visit her on Christmas Eve. 🎄