Tag Archives: Lisa Vanderpump

December 12, 2016 – Surprises Abound in Port Charles & Sadness Falls on PUMP

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Jason starts to tells Sonny about what he and Curtis found out. Sonny says sorry, he’s distracted. Jason asks if he wants to tell him why.

Nell sees Tom at the bar. He tells her he’d like to take her picture some time. She tells him it’s not gonna happen, so turn around and get lost. She says she knows a loser when she sees one, and to get out before she calls security. As he’s leaving, he gets a call from Kiki. She says she was thinking about his offer of taking pictures, and asks if it still stands. She says she’d like to take him up on it.

Elizabeth talks to herself. Griff asks if she wants to talk to another human being.

Nina finds Dillon in the office. He’s delaying his attendance to the gala. She says time is precious, and if he doesn’t like doing something, he should skip it. She tells him, do what you want with whoever you want, because one day you’re down, and the next you’re on top of the world. She asks him if he sees a change. She’s been sexed up.

Valentin says Lulu figured it out, so let him confirm it. He and Lulu are Charlotte’s parents. Dante shoves him up against the wall. Geez. You’re welcome.

Nina says up down all around, and Dillon says she doesn’t have to go into detail. She says she hasn’t felt this great in a long time and he gives in, telling her she looks great. She says it’s nice to know someone has her back, since Nathan doesn’t. He asks if she told her brother, and she says it wasn’t like she broadcast it, he practically walked in on them. She says she has to hear about their sex life from Maxie, but too bad she doesn’t agree with Nina’s taste in men.

Valentin says he did nothing and is as much a victim as Lulu is.

Sonny asks Jason what he has. He explains how Curtis got involved, and how he wants to find out the truth. He says they got an ID on the guy who planted the bomb. He tells Sonny about rooting through the dumpsters, but Sonny isn’t listening; he’s flashing back to Nell. Jason says he’s sending the stuff to a lab, and asks if Sonny is hearing him, and if it’s about Nell.

Michael apologizes to Nell for being late. He promises the gala won’t be painful, but she says she has to bail.

Griff asks if things have blown over with Tom, and Elizabeth says it’s copacetic. He asks what about Franco, and she says with him, it’s never enough

Tom asks Kiki when she wants to get together. She suggests tonight. She has a friend who’s a painter and she can use his art studio. Tom tries to get her to come to his place, but Kiki makes it sound private and attractive, and he says he’s on his way. She tells Franco she’s good, and he says she’s excellent. He promises there won’t be any violence, just talking. Kiki says she’s staying there to make sure of it.

Dillon is surprised that Valentin is Nina’s new guy. He says some people don’t think he has a good reputation. Nina says some people think he doesn’t either. Dillon says he hasn’t been arrested for murder. Nina says she was, and was proven innocent. She asks if he’s even met Valentin. She tells him he shouldn’t judge someone by their family history, so don’t jump to conclusions. He says okay, but it’s exhausting defending someone you love. Nina says if defending someone you love exhausts you, you’re doing something wrong.

Lulu tells Valentin that he’s getting no sympathy – he kept her daughter from her for years. He says Stavros and Mikkos were monsters. He doesn’t regret his daughter, but he was used like she was. It was all Helena’s doing.

Nina tells Dillon that she’s not taking relationship advice from him, and asks when was the last time he had a date. He says he’s too busy to date. She says she understands, but she likes to be busy. He suggests some delegation, and she says she’ll look into an assistant after the holidays. He says he knows someone who will be perfect.

Franco tells Kiki that Elizabeth has made it clear she doesn’t want violence. He just wants to impress upon Tom that’s it’s better if he seeks fame and fortune away from Port Charles. He says she’s welcome to stay, but it stays between them. She says if he’s worried about Elizabeth’s disapproval, maybe he shouldn’t do it. He says he wants to protect Elizabeth’s privacy. Dillon calls and asks Kiki to meet him at Crimson. She tells Franco she thinks he has it under control. She promises not to say anything, but he has to promise not to do anything stupid. He says it’s all about moving forward.

Nell is worried that Michael is wearing black tie and she isn’t. He says it’s not a big deal, but she says not for him – he belongs to one of the most powerful families in Port Charles. She says next time give her advance notice, so she can save up for a ballgown and not ditch him. He asks her to give him ten minutes.

Sonny says he doesn’t want Jason involved. He can’t help him with this. He says it has nothing to do with Morgan; it has to do with Carly. Jason is like, no. Sonny says he’s Carly’s best friend and he doesn’t want to put him in a position. Jason says he’s already there, and asks if it’s still going on. Sonny says it was just once; he was crazy, thinking about Jax being with Carly, and he really doesn’t remember. Jason thinks he has to tell Carly.

Michael comes back with a Hawaiian shirt under his tux jacket, and flip-flops. He says it will be hard to dance in them, but he’ll give it a try. They leave for the gala. I just have to say it. They keep trying with Michael, and keep pairing him with different women, hoping there will be chemistry. It’s not the women; it’s him. Whatever it is, it’s just not there.

Dillon steers Kiki to Nina’s office. He thinks they should talk about her being Nina’s assistant. He explains what the job would entail. Nina says she doesn’t have to answer now. She has to leave and they’ll talk when she gets back. Dillon asks if Kiki wants the job, and she says no.

Maxie tells Valnetin, sure, let’s blame the person who’s dead and can’t deny it. Valentin says Stavros couldn’t have children, so Helena had to change plans. He says Daphne seduced him, kept a sample, and took it to Helena. She drugged him, and by the time he realized what happened, it was done. Nathan asks what about Claudette.

Griff says in all fairness, Franco was trying to protect Elizabeth. She says she doesn’t need protecting. She doesn’t need anyone fighting her battles.

Tom goes to the studio and sees a crazy-looking painting of himself. Franco asks if he likes it, then jumps him. So much for no violence. He knocks Tom out.

Valentin says he was appalled and furious when he found out. He stole the embryo before Helena could have it implanted. Lulu said he could have come to her. He says he just wanted to be with his daughter, so he recruited Claudette. She took advantage of his legal problems and took Charlotte. Nathan says she just wanted to protect Charlotte. Valentin says she had no right. Lulu is Charlotte’s mother, and now she’s free to be.

Sonny tells Jason that he and Carly are just getting above water, and now this. Jason says people do crazy things, but they love each other and will come back from it. Sonny says she won’t understand; he barely understands. He says she came by the other day and he thought there was a chance of them getting back together, but if he tells her he slept with her assistant, it will be over.

Michael and Nell joke on the balcony at the gala. Nell tells him it’s an uptight people he runs with. He says they’re not his people, and she must be used to boring events being a teacher. They talk about Josslyn, and Michael wonders how Nell can stand being around his family. He wonders if a part of her resents and blames them.

Kiki doesn’t think it’s a good idea that she and Dillon work together. Dillon says being Nina’s assistant would be a steady paycheck until something better comes along. He says instead of accusing him of having ulterior motives, she should look at herself. She asks what that means, and he tells her that she’s punishing herself for choosing him over Morgan. Kiki slaps him. A lot of that going around.

Sonny tells Jason that Nell considers it a big mistake like he does. Jason thinks he should tell Carly, but Sonny says there’s no future if this comes out. Jason says there’s no if, eventually it will.

Nell tells Michael that there’s no resentment. She’s glad for her new life. Michael says he is too.

Kiki apologizes. He tells her good luck finding a job and walks out. Nina comes in and Kiki tells her about the argument. Nina says what does she expect. Dillon is crazy about her.

Griff says he’s never seen Elizabeth as frail and needy, and doesn’t think Franco does either. He thinks it might just be another way of Franco showing the world he’s not who he used to be.

Tom wakes up in a large dog crate. Franco is sketching him. He tells Tom not to move, so he can capture his likeness. Tom starts banging around, saying he’s going to kill Franco. Franco sprays something at him.

Dante says what Valentin did was criminal. Valentin says he saved his daughter from a miserable life under Helena’s thumb. If Lulu wants to see her, she knows where they are. He exits, stage right.

Kiki asks Nina if Dillon talks about her. Nina says of course, but even if he didn’t she has eyes. Kiki says Dillon is a great guy and if things were different… Nina says, but they’re not. She says there’s no rule book for grieving, but there comes a point where you need to move on to someone wonderful. She thinks about Valentin. Kiki says what happens if by the time the grieving is done, he’s gone. Nina says maybe your time is up.

Dillon runs into Valerie at the bar. She says she thought the gala would be fun, but she also thought she’d have a date. Dillon asks about Curtis, and she tells him that it’s over. He asks if she wants to get out of there, and she says yes.

Kiki thanks Nina for the advice. Nina’s phone rings. It’s Valentin. He asks if she’s free and she says give her an hour. He says he has to get back from the city and he’ll explain later.

Dante tells Lulu that they’re going to put Valentin away. Lulu says all she cares about is Charlotte. She has a daughter that she’s never held, kissed or said I love you to. Dante says Valentin can’t go on playing a game with her. She says she has no choice but to play along, but he picked the wrong Spencer. She’s going to win.

Nell needs Michael’s jacket, and they complain about the cold weather. She says she hasn’t forgotten why she’s here; she’ll never forget. Michael goes inside to get something.

Jason says it’s going to read in Sonny’s face and voice. He needs to get in front of it. Sonny says knowing would be worse. He’s not going to say anything, and neither is Nell, so how is anyone going to find out? Jason says there’s also him.

Michael comes back out, and Nell is gone.

Elizabeth asks Griff to cover for her. She needs to see Franco. Her life is better with him in it, and when he’s insecure, he acts out.

Tom is wearing a shock collar, and Franco tells him that this is the more humane method of training. He says it’s set for beagle, but can be set for a German Shepherd. If he argues, he’ll get a shock; if he tries to escape, he’ll get a shock; if he misbehaves, he’ll get a shock. It’s so simple even a dog can learn it, and he’s a dog. Franco tells him to speak, and says he’ll be trained in no time. Tom asks what then, and Franco says that would be telling.

Tomorrow, Michael asks Carly if she and Sonny are getting back together, Hayden is getting sicker, and Elizabeth shows up at Franco’s loft.

Vanderpump Rules

If there was ever a need for a very special Vanderpump Rules, this would be the one. The shooting in Orlando has just happened, and it coincides with Pride Day in West Hollywood.

The servers gather for a meeting with Lisa. Everyone is excited about Pride Day. Lisa will be on the bus with the British consulate. She tells them she wants the job done properly, but it’s a party atmosphere. Lisa says this is the biggest day of the year for both PUMP and SUR. Jax confirms that James isn’t allowed in the restaurants. Lisa distributes the servers’ outfits. Katie says they look like baby onesies. In her interview, she says the costumes get smaller every year, and pretty soon they’re going to be serving drinks bare-ass naked. Lala doesn’t want to try hers on since she’s not wearing underwear. Katie hopes they burn the chair she’s sitting in.

Tom tells Jax that Ariana is doing a photo shoot for her cocktail book. He thinks the book would be better if he was involved, since she just looks at it as a job and for him it’s a career. <choke> Scheana gives the guys the dirt on Lala’s married boyfriend, saying that his wife found a lot on his phone, and they have to break up now. They discuss Lala’s Range Rover, another never-ending topic, and Tom seems to think she could have won it. Scheana says she’s made up a dozen stories about how she got it. Jax says he doesn’t believe anything that comes out of Lala’s mouth. Both Tom and I sigh.

Stassi comes to SUR and tells Lala she wants to be in Katie’s station, where it’s okay to be working on your winter body. Ha-ha! Stassi meets a couple of her friends there, blonde twins from NYC. She thinks they probably clicked because they all like to drink so much. They ask Stassi if she’s ever been to the Hamptons and she hasn’t. The first weekend of the season is also Stassi’s birthday. We flash back to the horrible birthdays she’s had.

Katie and Scheana bring their drinks. Stassi says she wants to do a fun birthday trip to Montauk, but they have no clue where that is. Scheana’s vision of the Hamptons is a rich beach that New Yorkers flock to on weekends in the summer, and she pretty much hit the nail on the head. They all toast to Montauk.

Harrison! Lisa comes into SUR. Tom tells her Stassi is there and she stops by the table to say hello. She tells Stassi they do have food to go. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Ariana’s business partner comes to SUR and they discuss the cocktail book. Ariana has cleared it with Lisa to take photos there before SUR opens. Tom gives more than his two cents, and basically embarrasses her. He claims he’s being motivating without being annoying, but at least recognizes he’s failing at it. Ariana’s brother comes in to take the pictures. Ariana goes behind the bar and makes cocktails. Tom thinks they should be having more fun. In her interview, Ariana says he’s jealous since he wasn’t approached for the project. Apparently, he doesn’t like it when the attention isn’t on him. When they’re finished, he says he could have done it better. Wow.

Scheana invites Brittany to Stassi’s birthday weekend, but it’s the same weekend as Ariana’s birthday. Scheana is surprised she hasn’t gotten an invite yet. Lala says they should take a private plane so they can do both things, and she can hook them up. In her interview, Katie says it sounds like a whore. Maybe so, but definitely a rich whore.

Tom and Ariana meet Lala for lunch. Tom wants to do the “hot Asian,” which is apparently a menu item, and jokes abound. They talk about the Pride parade. Lala wants to wear pasties with tassels. Tom and Ariana invite her to Ariana’s birthday. The also make plans to do NASCAR the following weekend.

Tom tells Lala what Jax said about her boyfriend. She says she doesn’t understand where the rumors are coming from. No one will tell her the name of the guy or any other information. In her interview, Lala makes a joke about sleeping with Scheana’s father. She tells Tom that she’s dating a pro football player, but won’t tell them who. Tom says he doesn’t even watch football.

The cocktail book comes up. Tom gets over-involved, and Ariana tells him to slow his roll and quit rolling his eyes. He says everyone asked why she’s doing a book and not him. She says she’s worked for ten years in the best places, and he says with a Grumpy Cat reputation. Lala says they should have an adult conversation at home about it, and Ariana says they tried that and Tom can’t do it.

The shooting in Orlando happens. Lisa is interviewed for the news. In her interview, she says it was a heinous act of terrorism against the LGBTQ community. She wonders if they should abandon the parade and show a moment of darkness, rather than celebration, and should they stand up or fear for their safety? She tells Katie it’s up to everyone what they want to do. Katie says she’s anxious, sad, and fearful. Lisa tells her not to stay for her, and Katie thinks it’s a better idea to stay home.

Peter and SUR manager Nathalie talk about the shooting. Peter is a bit freaked out, and Nathalie tells him that a guy was just picked up with some guns not far away. Lala is worried about her own ass. She says it’s a pet peeve for her when people say just carry on and not let them win. She says people are dead, so they’ve won already. She’s decided to create music with James instead. Idiot.

Katie talks to Schwartz, who remarks on the senselessness of the shooting. Tom arrives, and she tells him about her conversation with Lisa. Tom says he’d been looking forward to drinking and celebrating, and now it’s crazy. Stassi comes by with her way cute dog. They talk about the shooting. Katie says it could happen anywhere, and she shouldn’t be afraid to go outside, but she is. In her interview, Stassi says it’s put things in perspective, and they need to be together and be safe. Schwartz talks about the oppression of the gays and Tom starts crying, which makes the girls cry. Tom wonders if he should go into SUR. He’s having a hard time keeping it together.

Peter calls Lala, who hasn’t bothered to call in. He calls Tom to see if he’s going to bartend. He doesn’t want anyone to be uncomfortable, but he needs people to work.

Lisa looks beyond amazing in a red strapless satin dress and matching hat. And earrings that look like the vampire ones I got at Spirit Halloween, although I’m sure hers cost more than $7.99. She says she’s getting on the bus and standing in utter defiance of what’s happened, because today is about standing up for what they believe in.

Lisa tells the driver to get the show on the road. The parade is fabulous, and there are actually tons of people there. Lisa does the Windsor wave.

Stassi says there wouldn’t be a parade if there wasn’t Lisa on a bus, which has to be the quote of the millennium. Schwartz tries to get the group to go, and Tom says he thinks he’s going. Katie says she has a hard time focusing when she’s upset. In his interview, Tom says he understands why someone wouldn’t want to go in, but Lisa got herself there, so he thinks it’s only right that he go too.

Brittany and Jax show up for work at Brittany’s insistence. Peter is surprised. Ariana and Tom show up next. Tom says he wasn’t going to let it stop him. I love these rainbow chains they’re wearing as necklaces and want to know where I can get one. Tom says it seems petty to be arguing about a book after what happened. Brittany has a shot before starting work. We find out that a Fireball shot is $11 and watch Jax guzzling them for free.

Tom apologizes to Ariana when they’re on break. She says it didn’t help. He says he felt horrible afterwards, and doesn’t like arguing with her. He thinks he has pent up stuff about her doing the book. In his interview, he admits being jealous. He says he should have been supportive and happy for her instead of making her opportunity about him. I have to admit, that’s a pretty grown-up analysis. Ariana says it’s stupid to be fighting. She doesn’t want to use the phrase “wake-up call” when it comes to Orlando, but it is. They’re both glad they came out. No, not that kind of coming out; coming out to the festivities.

Schwartz finally shows up. Everyone is astounded. He’s glad to see the festive spirit has prevailed. He wanted to show the community some love. Hmm… that’s a tough call as to whether him staying home might have been a better choice.

Lala shows up at James’s place. She doesn’t want to think about the sadness going on around her. She asks if James knows about Ariana’s birthday. He’s sure he’ll be invited. Lala says Jax and Brittany are going to be there, so don’t be so sure. He asks why she changes the mood all the time. She says today is not the day. She just had to break up with a dude and she’s sensitive AF. She says he broke up with her, and James says he doesn’t know this stuff unless she tells him. He doesn’t even know who the guy is. In his interview, like Scheana, he says Lala tells him a different story all the time, and he doesn’t believe any of them. Lala says that he never has to go into the restaurant again, but she still has to work with the people there. She was taking it out on her boyfriend and he’s obviously over it.

Lisa arrives at PUMP. She makes a mini speech, thanking everyone for coming. She applauds their courage, especially in the face of security threats, and says this is what they do; they unite and stand defiantly in the face of a heinous act. Like a flag being dropped at the beginning of a race, she tells everyone to f-ing party.

PUMP is wild and in full swing. Tom says he’s never jumped on the bar before, but today it’s an m-f-ing priority. Ken covers his eyes before going into the restaurant. Peter tells Lisa this is the craziest Pride Day he’s every been a part of. They agree everyone came out stronger. Tom tells Lisa that he appreciates how she got on the float anyway. Jax says she has more balls than they do, and she says don’t worry, they’ll find them.

Lisa says she’s happy to have a place where the LGBTQ community feels comfortable. Today was about love and acceptance, and she’s glad she was there to celebrate with them. Everyone does happy Pride toasts.

Next time, Stassi interviews Jax on the radio (!), Lala confronts Katie, and Stassi tells Scheana to stop being an a-hole.

December 6, 2016 – Secrets Abound on GH, Below Deck Ends, Beverly Hills Begins & Ladies of London Gets an Honorable Mention

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Sonny tells Carly he couldn’t find the gifts. She tells him he was looking on the wrong side of the bed.

Michael asks Nell if they’re still on for the gala, which he just asked her to five minutes ago. Kiki walks into the office.

In the parking garage, Jason peels the name off the side of the van. Underneath, it says Derek Wells Media, which is Julian’s company. The light bulb comes on over Jason’s head.

Alexis tells Julian that he’s blackmailing her, but he calls it tough love. She sarcastically tells him his concern for the greater good is one of his finest qualities. He tells her that the ethics committee is the least of her concerns. Jordan has been nosing around about the hit and run. Alexis finds it ironic that he’s threatening to involve police. Sam sees Alexis in Julian’s room and asks her what she’s doing there.

Charlotte tells Santa that she wants her mommy for Christmas. She and Lulu lock eyes. Laura asks if Lulu found Rocco’s Christmas list. She asks who the little girl is, and Dante tells her. He asks if Lulu has met her. She says no, she hasn’t.

Carly digs the gifts out from under the bed and goes back downstairs. Sonny looks at the photo of them together and then at the necklace.

Michael tells Kiki that Nell agreed to come to the Toys for Tots benefit with him. Kiki says she’s there to pick up her final paycheck. Michael wonders what happened, and Kiki tells him that she and Carly came to an understanding. Michael tells her good luck with whatever’s next, and tells Nell he’ll text her with the details. When he leaves, Kiki is like, you and Michael?

Carly is on her phone, and tells Sonny that for a season of love and good cheer, people can be very demanding. This is a surprise? Sonny suggests Olivia take some of the load. Carly says she’ll be sure to tell Olivia that it was his idea.

Curtis tells Jason that this could mean a few things, and they kick around a few scenarios. They decide to damage the van and then pretend to be concerned, responsible citizens who want to pay for the damage. Jason bashes the van with a crowbar.

Julian tells Sam that he asked Alexis to come. Sam asks what reason Alexis could have for seeing the man who tried to kill her.

Valentin introduces Charlotte to Rocco and they go off for cookies. He tells Dante and Lulu that their children have taken a shine to each other. Lulu doesn’t look pleased.

Michael stops by Sonny’s and they talk about celebrating Christmas early with Josslyn. Carly thanks Sonny for helping her, and he thanks her for coming by. Michael asks Carly if she can spare Nell on the 12th.

Nell tells Kiki that there’s nothing going on between her and Michael. She thinks he just took pity on her and wanted her to have a night out. Kiki says he’s thoughtful and starts to say something else, but stops. She tells Nell that they had a brief relationship, but they broke up because she hurt him and she went back to Morgan. She says she was keeping a huge secret from him.

Dante tells Valentin to back off, but Nina says this is for the kids. Laura thinks that Nina should ask Valentin to leave, but Doc suggests radical acceptance. He says that you can’t control the situation, but you can control your attitude and where you put your focus. Lulu talks to Charlotte. She starts asking Charlotte questions, but Nina says the only question Charlotte should be answering is what she wants for Christmas.

Alexis tells Sam that she thought it might be her last chance to tell Julian to go to hell. Sam says now that she knows Julian is going to live, can they go? Alexis says they’re done, and she and Sam leave. In the hallway, Sam asks Alexis if she’s all right. Alexis says she’s somewhere between yay he’s out of her life, and at least he didn’t hold a knife to her throat. Sam says she has the feeling there’s something else. Alexis says she doesn’t know what she’s doing half the time, but she’s done with Julian. Sam goes down in the elevator.

Laura steers Santa to the kids. Nina says if Lulu and Dante have a problem with Valentin, fine, but it doesn’t give them the right to interrogate his daughter. Valentin says he loves Charlotte the same way they love their children. He suggests a playdate and Dante is like, no. Nina wants to get Valentin and Charlotte some hot chocolate, and they leave together. Dante asks Lulu what’s up with that?

The driver shows up and asks Jason and Curtis if they’re the idiots who messed up the van. They claim they were arguing over a Bill’s game and it got out of control. The driver says his boss is going to be mad, and they’re going to have to pay for it. Curtis says they want to talk to him about his boss, and asks if it’s Julian.

Michael explains about taking Nell to the gala, and Carly thinks it’s a fine idea. She leaves, and Michael asks Sonny about her visit. Sonny says he doesn’t know what she’s feeling, and Michael says it looks like a start of the thaw. Sonny asks if Michael is interested in Nell.

Nell asks what secret Kiki kept from Michael. Kiki says it had to do with their parents, but Michael deserves someone who treats him better than she did. Nell gives her the check, and says that Kiki is taking it well. Kiki says it was time to leave. Nell says it would be understandable if there were hard feelings.

Kiki says she has no hard feelings. She asks Nell if she told Carly about their conversation regarding her breaking up with Morgan. Nell says she didn’t say anything, and Kiki tells her that both Carly and Michael knew about her plans and were furious at first, but now they’re being kind. They’ll never forget though, and she doesn’t blame them. She says the loss and hurt stay with you. Nell agrees.

Michael tells Sonny that he and Nell are just friends. He says he’s sorry that he didn’t take better care of Sonny, but Nell pinch-hit and he wants to return the favor.

The driver thinks Curtis and Jason are cops because they’re asking about Julian. Curtis says his partner is crazy and took his anger out on the van with a tire iron. Jason says he used to do what he was told. but one morning woke up with a chip in his brain, and now gets urges to hit something or someone until the voices go away. He suggests the driver tell them what he knows about Julian.

Julian says, back so soon? to Alexis and she tells him drop dead. He says had she hit someone else, they might not be so understanding. He says he’s not trying to extort anything from her (no, just her time and emotion) or have her do criminal acts; he just wants her to help him.

Laura tells Santa he has a five-minute break and closes the door. He asks what she’d like for Christmas. She wonders if it’s cliche to say world peace. He says that’s out of his league. She says peace of mind then, and he says he can work with that. She asks what’s going on with Charlotte. He tells Laura that she’s well-adjusted considering the upheaval. Laura says she also adores her father, and has no idea what Valentin is capable of.

Valentin and Nina have taken Charlotte to Kelly’s. Nina has Charlotte go to pick out a cookie, and Valentin thanks Nina for her interception. She says he could have held his own with Lulu. He says when someone puts that much energy into not liking you, you have to walk on egg shells. Nina wonders why Lulu wants to get so involved, and says they have to protect Charlotte.

Sam and Molly enter Kelly’s. Sam sees Valentin and stops short. She tells Molly who Valentin is.

Lulu tells Dante that when she saw Charlotte, something came over her. She was immediately drawn to her and can’t explain it. Dante says he thinks he can.

Carly tells Nell sorry she’s late and that it’s been a stressful day. She says she went to see Sonny. Nell asks how he seemed, and Carly says distracted. She tells Nell that she gave her the night off for the gala, and she’s glad Michael has a friend like her.

Michael thinks Sonny and Carly’s relationship is getting better, and that Carly came there to see him, no matter what excuse she gave. He says it’s only a matter of time before they’re back together, and she doesn’t want to punish him for something he didn’t do.

Dante tells Lulu that Charlotte has been bounced around like a pinball. Lulu says that she also recently found out they lost their chance to have another child. Dante tells her that she’s a caring person and Charlotte has been through a lot, so her instincts kicked in; she wants to protect Charlotte. Lulu says she’s sure he must be right, but I’m not buying that she believes it.

Valentin tells Nina how lovely she looks. He mentions that she said “we” need to take care of Charlotte. She apologizes for the presumption, but he says it means the world to him. Nina tells him that she’s completely taken with Charlotte and her adorableness. She says it’s no secret that she wants a child, but this has nothing to do with that; she wants what’s best for her. Valentin says he’s thanking his lucky stars. He could have easily walked past Nina the night they met in the hotel. There was something about her though. She’s charming and beautiful, but it’s more than that. Most people have an agenda, but she’s honest about who she is and what she wants, and he likes her.

Outside Kelly’s, Molly tells Sam that she wants to give Valentin a piece of her mind. Sam says he’ll just say it’s a misunderstanding and besides, they have their own family issues to deal with. She tells Molly that Alexis was visiting Julian, and she’s not believing the reason. She thinks Alexis still has a soft spot for him.

Alexis asks Julian what he wants help with. He says he’ll need it when he gets home from the hospital, and she says they have nurses for that. He says he’ll need help with things like shaving, brushing his teeth, and showering. Um…I think they do that too. Alexis asks if this is his ultimate form of punishment, for her to spend every waking hour with him. He says she didn’t used to feel like that, and she says holding a knife to someone’s throat ruins a relationship. He tells her that if anyone finds out she’s the one who hit him, she won’t only lose her license, she’ll lose her freedom.

Jason wants to know what happened the night of the bomb. The driver says it was his assignment to park there. His boss Julian told him to do it.

Nell asks if Carly is worried about Sonny. Carly says there’s something on his mind, and now that she knows he’s not responsible for Morgan’s death… Nell says she thinks they belong together. Nell’s phone rings. It’s Sonny. He tells Nell they need to talk.

Doc tells Laura that Valentin might have been right in saying they’ll always be connected. He says Charlotte is Nicholas’s cousin. Laura says Nicholas is gone, and there’s no more connection. She adds that as much as she hates being involved with Valentin, part of her feels compelled to look out for Charlotte because she is Nicholas’s family, making her part of Laura’s family as well. Doc says she has amazing generosity of spirit and it’s one of the reasons he loves her. A kid bangs on the door saying Santa’s break is over.

Dante asks if Lulu is okay. She says it’s something about Charlotte, and then says never mind.

Nina tells Valentin that she was thinking about Charlotte’s Christmas wish. She says not even a purple unicorn can make up for missing your mother. He says between them, they can make a fine Christmas for her. I’d love to see some kind of A Christmas Carol story with this bunch.

Molly thinks maybe Alexis can get some closure in seeing Julian. Sam says Julian is a narcissist who is encouraged by any attention. Molly says it’s better than Alexis starting to thaw (theme for today). Sam hopes that Alexis knows what she’s doing.

Julian asks Alexis if they have a deal. Alexis says fine. She says no one will believe it though, since everyone knows how much she hates his guts, but he says she can make something up. She says she’s figured it out and they have a deal. That was fast.

Curtis tells Jason that the psycho act was great. The driver is most likely in Canada by now. Jason says he’s probably more worried about Julian than him. Jason says it won’t take long for Julian to figure things out, and Curtis says Julian planted the bomb in his own car. Just in case we haven’t been paying attention.

Tomorrow, Anna asks Andre for help, Lulu wants to know why she feels so strongly about Charlotte, and a gathering happens on Spoon Island.

Below Deck

I’ve decided Ben is kind of an a-hole, which is too bad because I liked him up until now. Anyone who blames someone else for how they act is just, no.

Kate complains to Ben about the stews taking breaks before their work is done. Sierra gets offended because anyone born after 1985 gets offended by just about anything. Kate says it isn’t that they don’t have an amazing team, she just wants them to hit it out of the park for the last charter. When the guests leave, the boat has to look perfect. Ben thinks Kate should be more respectful of people’s breaks. By that I assume he means Emily’s breaks.

Dawn and her guests are doing the snorkeling thing. Nico and Kyle just want to get finished. Kyle says Sierra is an idiot, and Nico points out that he thought she was cool before he found out that she wasn’t into him. Lauren and Kyle talk about hating the job until it’s over; then they love it. In her interview, Lauren says no matter how much they bicker, the crew really loves each other. Um…I dunno about that. Nico says Sierra and Kyle’s fight has nothing to do with him, the same way his altercations with Kate have nothing to do with Kyle, who thinks Kate is awesome.

Sierra has to get a hug from Emily because, see above. She thinks Kate is just looking for things to criticize them about. Emily and Ben chat about finally getting sprung. In her interview, Emily says they’ll see how it goes, as far as having a relationship on the outside. Ha-ha! I’m making it sound like they’re in jail.

Kate encourages Ben to have the food ready when the guests get back. He disagrees, saying they usually want to have a shower and cocktail first. He asks Emily what she thinks because she has so much experience. Emily doesn’t really want to get involved. Ben tells Kate that he’s the chef and calling the shots. He claims he has a valid reason. Kate tries to talk, but he says he’s going to do what he wants anyway. See what I mean?

The guests get back. They’re hungry. Kate tells Ben they’re starving. Captain Lee announces only 16 more hours left. Kate brings out the food and Dawn asks if the captain would like to join them for dinner. Kate tells Ben to keep the food coming. In his interview, Ben says Kate used to be a pleasure to work with. Kate tells the captain about the guests requesting his presence.

Kelley says they’ve grown as a team and now it’s over. He says they’re a highly dysfunctional family, but they’re a family. They promise to all keep in touch. Yeah, we all know how that goes.

Sierra asks Kate if she thinks they’re not working hard enough. Kate tells her about the lack of toilet paper in the guest bathrooms, which I agree is a huge no-no. She says she’s always given them compliments and doesn’t want to finish on a negative note. She mentions that she isn’t taking a break either. She thinks maybe Sierra needs to talk about something, but Sierra says no. Had your chance.

OMG – dinner! Clams or something. It looks amazing. And shrimp! The captain joins the guests. The guests fire questions at him. I find out that he has five children and is from Michigan. Kate compliments Ben on the calamari. She says she never knows which Ben she’s going to get and he says he’s 50 shades of Ben. Ha-ha! Everyone is happy for the moment. Dessert! Kyle says Ben and Kate either hate or love each other and it’s confusing. Kate tells Ben the worst day with him is better than the best day with some of the other chefs.

Kyle asks if Sierra had a mental breakdown. Kate says she tried to be nice, but felt disrespected. Kyle says he prefers to talk face to face, and doesn’t understand why the stews are so defensive with her. In his interview, Kyle says Kate had his back from day one. Kate says she’s done nothing to Nico and Lauren to warrant them talking behind her back, and they have no business questioning her decisions. She tells Kyle she doesn’t need to hear what the one stripe people think. Oh, snap.

Two hours and twenty-six minutes. Ben says he’s mentally moved on and is already in his apartment. The guests are the only ones who don’t want to leave. The captain thinks the Kelley/Nico team has done well.

The final meal! The blue water! The Jacuzzi! Sierra and Lauren gossip about Kate. Zzzzz….

Anchor is dropped and the ship docks. The guests are ready to go. Good-bys are said. Dawn gets emo with the captain who just wants it to be over. He tells everyone to head for the crew mess. This charter’s tip is 16K. The crew has made a total of $13,500 in tips all season. Captain Lee tells the crew to get the boat in better shape than when they got it.

Kate talks to Lauren and Nico. She says she’s heard what they said about how she’d tattled on them to the captain, but the captain found their mess all on his own. She says she had their back and doesn’t rat out the crew. However, she doesn’t appreciate giving them permission to use the boat and them turning the tables. Nico gets pissed and leaves. Lauren apologizes. In her interview, Kate says she’s disappointed. She says at least talk to her face. Nico complains to Kelley who’s staying out of it.

Ashley shows up, and everyone gets ready to go out. The girls all look super cute. Ben wants to make amends with Kate, since she’s a great friend of his and they’re not working together anymore.

The crew goes to a restaurant and begins to drink. The food looks excellent, and I eat vicariously. Ben and Kate step aside to talk. Emily wonders wtf? She tells Sierra it’s confusing. She doesn’t know where they stand or where she stands with Ben. Sierra suggests she give him a chance and get to know him. She also thinks that Emily should say something.

Sierra asks Ben about his relationship with Kate. He says there’s no need to diagnose it. In his interview, he says now Emily is in the middle of all the emotion, and he doesn’t know how to deal with it. He asks Emily if she wants him to hate Kate forever, and says he’ll be mean to Kate just for her. He says that he and Kate are better off as friends than colleagues, and she brings out a person he doesn’t want to be. He was hoping that Emily had a better grasp of the situation. What I think is that Ben is in love with Kate, and his attraction to Emily has become a problem. Not to mention, Kate is in a relationship.

Kyle comes thisclose to telling Ashley that she completes him. He wants to take things up a notch. He asks Kate for a ring. She’s wearing one that she says is worth two thousand bucks and he says he’ll give her a thousand. Deal. He says he’s proposed once before, but she threw the ring at him the same night. He takes Ashley aside and gets down on one knee. She says yes. Everyone cheers.

Ben acts rude to Kate. She asks if he’s okay. He’s obviously angry. She gives him a drink and he guzzles it. He tells her he doesn’t like working with her anymore. What a jerk he’s become. I hope Emily dumps him, but she’s kind of stupid, so maybe he deserves her. He tells Kate that they’re better off as friends. She says she doesn’t like working with him that much either. She thinks the booze is talking, and she’s tired of hearing it. He says Emily just grilled him about their relationship. Kate tells him that he’s rude, and in her interview, she says that he’s so self-destructive, it’s embarrassing.

Back at the boat, Ashley and Kyle get the guest cabin. Ben gossips with Nico and Lauren. Idiots.

In the morning Ben approaches Kate and apologizes. He says he’s sorry if he ruined her evening. She says it’s typical. He tells her that they’ve come a long way together and he values their friendship. He says he loves her and he’ll always have her back. He asks for a hug, but in her interview, she says the friendship isn’t salvageable.

Lauren tells Nico what great friends they are. Hugs. I think she thinks they’ll still get together one day. Kate says you need a thick skin to work on a boat, and she doesn’t think Sierra has it. Sierra is proud of herself, but thinks she does need to toughen up. Nico and Kelley do the bro thing. Kyle pays Kate for the ring. She expects an invite to the wedding. Kyle can’t wait to have a proper bacon sandwich with HP sauce, which is a brown sauce kind of like Worcestershire.

Kelley tells Kate that he tried to emulate her. In her interview, she thinks he did an amazing job. Kelley talks to the captain, saying he tried to redeem himself, and thinks he did better. I’m not sure by Captain Lee’s face if he’s in agreement, but he says Kelley has progressed incredibly. Kelley is shocked and so am I, and he thanks the captain for his help. Captain Lee says he’d love to work with him again, and Kelley thanks him for the second chance.

Ben apologizes to Emily. He says he felt like a bit of a d*ck. That’s because he was, and more than a bit of. He says she’s the last person he’d want to insult, and he thinks she’s special. In her interview, she says that she’ll give him another chance, but be wary. They kiss. Ben leaves with the flowers and leaves them on the deck so that everyone can trip over them.

In his interview, Ben says that Emily probably hates him, but he’s going to try to make a go of it. She takes a rose out of the flowers. Ben says being in a relationship and doing his job was probably more than he could chew, but he did it, and was a solid seven. By my estimation, he was more like a shaky three.

Kate says good by to the captain. As she leaves, he tells her that she still looks like a guest more than the chief stew.

Captain Lee says this season was tough. We flash back to some of the highlights. He says the bottom line is that the guests left happy and they made a ton of money. Without a doubt, he has the best damn job in the world.

This was the finale. They usually have a reunion, but as of the last one, hadn’t been elevated out of the clubhouse yet.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Kyle’s closet is everything. LisaV calls. They’re planning on meeting at PUMP, and Kyle jokes as to whether they allow the wearing of Birkenstocks (at least I think she’s joking), and asks who’s going to be there. She doesn’t know the couple, but says Boy George loves them. Kyle is friendly with him and says everybody knows everybody in Beverly Hills.

Erika discusses her new song with husband Tom. It’s at number eight, and she says her career is growing. He says he wants to give her a birthday present early. She’s have a big blowout for her 45th. In her interview, she jokes (again, I’m not positive) that it’s all downhill from here. I have news for her. That’s 55 when the slide starts. Tom says she has things for her fingers and ears, but he’s giving her something for her eyes. A Chagall. Eh. It’s okay. She asks if it’s hers or theirs since Chagall is one of his favorites. To be on the safe side, he gives her something else. He gives her an envelope. She asks if it’s a legal doc, but inside there’s a picture of a Cartier panther ring that he has on order.

Harrison! With LisaV, but where’s my Giggy? Giggy! Ken has him. Harrison is a rescue that Lisa is having a passionate affair with. New Housewife Dorit and her husband PK join them at PUMP, along with Kyle and Mauricio. Dorit’s husband is a talent manager who manages Boy George. Dorit says he’s been living with them for a while and is like her gay husband. She tells the group about how she met her husband.

Kyle brings up Erika’s birthday party. Lisa talks about how she and Dorit first met. They talk about Dubai. Ken says he felt like he was there from all the weepy phone calls he got from Lisa. In her interview, Lisa talks about how miserable she was during the trip, being grilled by LisaR. She says that LisaR was unusually aggressive, and Eileen backed her up. In her interview, Kyle says LisaV hangs on to things a long time, but doesn’t think she’s losing any sleep over it.

Harry brings LisaR a new car. It has one of those bows on it. She says this year is about having a good time. Last year was kind of negative. Her father passed away recently and it changed her outlook on everything. She says that she doesn’t have time to worry about old stuff and wants to concentrate on raising her daughters. She doesn’t have time for bullsh*t anymore. I’ll bet she lasts a whole five minutes.

Eileen meets Erika at a bar. Eileen says that Erika might have a flashy persona, but she’s a girl’s girl. Eileen lost her mother just prior to the reunion, but hasn’t really said anything about it. She tells Erika that it’s affected everything that happened last season, making it trivial. Kyle joins them. They discuss Yolanda, who says that she’s 75% better, but taking time to rest, recover, and look after herself. Kyle is working on her new TV show, and they’re deep into casting right now.

Kyle wonders if the two Lisas are going to be okay eventually. Erika says everything can be worked out if everybody wants to work it out. I guess that’s pretty much true for any conflict. Kyle says she never wants to hear bi-polar, manipulative, Munchhausen, own it, or sniper again. I agree, especially Munchhausen.

Dorit is getting her makeup done, while PK’s assistant discusses their schedule. Dorit wants to make sure there’s time for the kids. Boy George comes in. She says in their house he’s more like Uncle George, but diva does come out occasionally. They’re getting ready to do Jimmy Kimmel‘s show.

Erika is having a Studio 54 party for her birthday. Disco balls are everywhere, and there’s going to be a velvet rope with Pussy Control manning the door. We flash back to LisaV’s Poison Arrow video. Lisa says the end of the 80’s marked the end of her single life. In her interview, LisaR talks about Iman being at Studio 54, and everyone goes down 80’s Memory Lane.

LisaV and Kyle meet for a kiki at Dorit’s house. Giggy! Kyle talks about hanging out with Andy Warhol and Rick James as a kid, because her mother didn’t follow the rules.

I want to have a fabulous 80’s party just like this one, but I don’t think Tom will fund the bill for me. Erika gets crazy over everyone’s outfits. She opens her gift from Eileen. It’s a part on Eileen’s show, The Young and the Restless. Coolest. Present. Ever. Erika is worried that they’ll fire Eileen if she sucks. They talk about the soaps.

LisaV introduces Dorit. Lisa asks Tom if he’s wearing something Studio 54 under his suit. I gotta say, Tom seems like a really nice guy, and he and Erika are obviously in love. Eileen and LisaR discuss LisaV. LisaR says she’d rather be better than bitter. Yeah, we’ll see. Dorit says she considers herself a New Yorker, but she’s lived all over the place. In her interview, she says Beverly Hills is a little too much carrot juice and Botox. Agreed. She invites Erika to her upcoming birthday party.

The two Lisas meet, and the conversation is stilted. In her interview, LisaV says that LisaR changed the dynamic of their relationship, and they’d have to do a lot of work to get it back to where it was. Eileen says anything is possible. Look what happened after the Viet Nam war, everyone goes there for vacation now.

The guests mingle and dance. Mauricio talks to Tom about the plane he just bought. Tom brings out another present for Erika – her mother. Erika introduces her mom around. In her interview, Erika talks about her mother having her at 18, and her father leaving before she was one-year-old.

Eileen thinks LisaV is giving her the cold shoulder. Dorit invites Eileen and her husband to her party. Dorit is trying to figure out how Eileen is the same woman that Lisa has talked about. Everyone is starving and glad to see the cake come out. It’s cute, layered stars. LisaV says she thinks she saw a deviled egg and should have grabbed it. Erika is thrilled with the evening.

The girls dance. LisaV says that Eileen and LisaR would be happier if she wasn’t in their friend circle, but she’s coming back, stronger than ever.

Next time, Erika hires dancers, LisaV gets a horse, and Dorit’s birthday party happens.

Ladies of London honorable mention. Marissa had the smallest baby ever, but all is well. Caroline #1 seems to be at odds with everyone. I think she has too much time on her hands since Gift Library closed. She needs a job or something else to occupy her. Julie is overwhelmed with running the Mapperton estate. The place is like a small village, and I don’t envy her dealing with the gift shop employees who have worked there since the earth cooled, and are less than helpful. And Caroline #2’s father is very sick with cancer. Since she’s a huge celebrity in Denmark, the press is very interested in her, and while on a trip there with Juliet, she makes the mistake of telling them about his illness when the family is quite private. We also see her OCDness in regard to beds being made correctly.

December 5, 2016 – Santa Visits GH, Schwartz Visits His Future & a Couple of TV Notes

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Anna is on the phone discussing Valentin with Robert. Laura meets her at Kelly’s. Anna wonders if Laura can answer some questions.

Nina tells Valentin that just because she enjoys something, doesn’t mean it’s good for her. She loves ice cream, but she can’t have it every day. Switching topics, she asks where his adorable daughter is.

Nurse Amy 2.0 talks to Rocco about a possible brother or sister, and as usual, oversteps her bounds.

Sam tells Jason that someone tried to kill Julian twice. Jason says there isn’t any proof that the two things are related. He points out the differences, saying the hit and run was sloppy whereas the bomb was carefully planned.

Alexis visits Julian in the hospital. He wonders what took her so long. She says she was talking to the police.

Michael suggests that Nell keep watch on him to see his “tells.” These are apparently behavioral clues as to what move someone is going to make. He says if she gets that information, when they have a Backgammon rematch, she can win. She’s hesitant to go with him to the gala because of Carly.

Ava tells Carly she doesn’t get a say with Avery since she’s not her child. Carly says she has a low tolerance right now, and Ava best leave before there’s hair-pulling. Sonny is kind of into that, but says Avery is staying with him. Ava asks if Carly is standing by Sonny even though he planted the bomb that killed her son. She says maybe if Carly had been more on the ball with Morgan, he would still be alive. Sonny tells her to back off. Carly says Ava claimed that she loved Morgan, but she’s using him as leverage the way she uses her own children. She says Ava is going after Sonny where she thinks he’s vulnerable. Ava calls them a tag team and asks if they’re back together.

Michael tells Nell that he could ask Carly first, but she’ll stick her nose in everything, right on down to Nell’s shoes. Nell says she’ll go with him.

Jason doesn’t think the two attempts on Julian’s life relate. Sam asks if he thinks it’s a random hit and run, but he says not necessarily. Curtis finally shows up. He says he paid Julian a visit, offering to resume his services, but Julian declined. He says it confirms a theory he had – Julian doesn’t want anyone to know who planted the bomb.

Alexis tells Julian that she heard he was struck buy a hit and run driver, and it might have been on purpose. She says the police are trying to find out. She asks if he’s remembered anything yet.

Anna tells Laura that Valentin’s records are practically non-existent, so if she can recall anything, it would be helpful. Laura says he turned up in Greece saying he was Mikkos’s bastard son and had been denied everything .She says it was mentioned that he was the Cassadine all other Cassadines feared. She tells Anna about the Halloween incident, and how he came dressed in costume, leading them to believe he was Doc, and when he revealed himself, said he was there to claim the estate. Anna says he puts on a show as a perfect gentleman, but then kicks her out. Laura says quite the opposite, he offered to let her stay there, but she said no. Anna asks how he took the rejection. Laura tells her that Valentin hides behind his good manners, but she knows he has secrets, and thinks one of them is about her family.

Amy toddles off, and Lulu says that was awkward. Santa has finally arrived and Nina takes him aside for discussion. Valentin approaches Lulu and Dante. He introduces himself to Rocco, and Lulu tells him not to speak to her son. He says as she wishes, and she suggests he go back to Greece and turn himself in. Dante tells him to stay away from his family, but Valentn says that won’t be possible.

Curtis tells Jason and Sam that he knew Julian fired him too abruptly, right after he asked about Oscar Jessup. He says Julian is definitely hiding something, and Oscar is a front. He says you’d think he’d want someone to investigate, but he wasn’t interested and got testy about it. Sam says they don’t think the two incidents are related, and Curtis says he doesn’t either. It’s obvious that Julian doesn’t want it investigated.

Julian acts like he doesn’ remember anything. Alexis asks about a prognosis. He tells her blah-blah-blah, and she asks if he’ll recover. He says eventually. He says he could have died in the parking lot except for a good Samaritan who called 911. They saved his life and he wishes he could thank them. Alexis tells him pay it forward and try not to kill anyone else. He says why not just say the words, and thanks her for calling 911 after she ran him down.

Sonny tells Ava that his and Carly’s relationship is none of her business. She says Avery is her business. Sonny says Avery is staying with him. Ava says he confessed, but Carly says it was just a father’s grief, and he committed no crime. She says if Sonny can’t care for Avery, she’ll stay with her, and Ava says she’ll have her in court. Carly threatens her with the Paul Hornsby video, and Ava says having sex isn’t a crime. Carly says, but murder is.

Laura tells Anna that when Valentin showed up to take possession of Windemere, he looked at her when he was leaving. He said they’d always be connected by their families, and it felt like a threat.

Valentin tells Dante that they live in the same town, and asks if Dante is going to arrest him for smiling and saying hello. He says not to harass him, and Dante says he’ll take his chances. Nina comes to get Rocco for the Santa line. She asks Valentin where Charlotte is and Valentin goes to get her.

Curtis wonders why Julian would protect the person who tried to kill him. Sam steps away to take a call. Curtis tells Jason about Julian getting a phone call and being amped up like he’d had bad news. He says maybe someone is out to get Julian for something in the past, and if whoever planted the bomb is exposed, so is Julian’s past transgression, and he’s covering for them. Sam returns saying Spinelli called. She says he sent her something and hands Jason her phone.

Julian says he lied. Alexis sarcastically says that’s shocking. He says he remembered everything and goes through the events of the evening, while we see mini flash backs. Alexis says it was an accident, and Julian says it was a DWI.

Michael explains everything about the gala to Nell. She asks about the dress code, and he tells her festive attire. She asks if a cocktail dress is okay, since she can’t afford a ballgown. He says he can fix that. That’s nice and all, but why would “festive attire” be confined to a ballgown?

Carly suggests Ava knew about Paul’s murder spree, and he fixed Julian’s trial. She says if the sex tape comes up, the police might investigate and she could be considered an accomplice. Carly says it’s better for everyone if they keep the custody agreement they already have. Ava asks how she can risk something happening like what happened with Morgan. Carly says that Sonny is a good father, and Avery belongs with him. Sonny says he’s going to be more generous with Ava than she’s been with him. He’s going to forget about what she said regarding Morgan, and she can pick up Avery on her regular day. Ava tells them that they deserve each other, and leaves . Sonny thanks Carly.

Valentin tells Charlotte that they’re going to meet someone very important. BTW, Nina looks fabulous as usual, in a dress with a black crochet overlay and ruffled bottom. She tells Santa that she knows Valentin isn’t his favorite person, but Charlotte is special. Doc says he’ll suck it up for the kid.

Spinelli has sent a parking permit for the van that was blocking the mini-mart cameras. Jason says it’s a monthly permit for October. Curtis thinks it might turn up something useful. Sam has to go to her doctor’s appointment, so Curtis and Jason go to investigate.

Alexis repeats that it was an accident. Julian says the bartender might not see it that way. She says he wasn’t there, and her memory differs from his. Julian says what if he had died or she hit someone else; what would her daughters think? Alexis says they want her to kill him. He calls her a drunk (ouch), and says she’s in serious trouble. She says the police won’t find anything. It will be her word against his, and who do you think they’ll believe? He says she might be able to get off not being prosecuted, but the Bar Association has a lower standard of proof.

Carly tells Sonny that Avery belongs with him. She says she knows he was trying to honor Morgan, but his confession wasn’t a good idea, and it doesn’t honor Morgan to wallow in the loss. She says “we” have to do better for him. She tells Sonny that they’ll always be in each other’s lives, but she doesn’t know what it means. It will take everything she’s got to get through Christmas, but they have to for the kids. She says she left some presents for Josslyn in the bedroom and wants to send them to Australia, since it’s Jax’s turn to have Josslyn for the holiday. She and Michael have decided to do a celebration early with her. Um…then why send the presents to Australia? She tells sonny that the presents are under the bed, and he offers to get them.

Michael suggests that he and Nell hit Maxie up for a ballgown. Nell says she’ll worry about spilling something or someone stepping on it. He tells her that if she changes her mind, Maxie has everything. Nell says she’ll stick to her own stuff and suddenly realizes her necklace is gone.

Sonny looks under the bed. He finds the presents. And Nell’s necklace.

Laura gets to the hospital too late to see Rocco with Santa, but Lulu says they took a lot of pictures. She says it took Santa a while to go through Rocco’s scroll list, and that it’s probably best that Laura avoided Valentin.

Back on the phone, Anna asks Robert if there were any casualties, and then says to send her everything he’s got.

Alexis says it’s Julian’s fault that she lost her license in the first place. She broke the rules for him because he believe that he loved her. He says he does, and tells her that she’s trying to sell herself as a good lawyer. She says she is, and he calls her a drunk again. Double ouch. She says she’s good at what she does, and it’s all she has. She asks if he’s going to turn her in now.

Curtis and Jason find the truck in the parking garage. It’s locked. Jason asks Curtis if he wants to turn his back while he breaks in or help.

Nell is freaking over her necklace. She tells Michael it’s not valuable, but it means something to her. He asks when she remembers wearing it last, and she flashes back. She says she thinks she knows where she left it.

Carly is at the bedroom door. She asks Sonny if he found the gifts. He has the necklace scrunched in his hand. Here’s what you do, Sonny. Don’t let her see the necklace and put it in your pocket. When she asks what’s that? tell her that it’s a Christmas gift for her and then have Max buy something.

Sam goes to her appointment at the hospital, since apparently there is no private practice in Port Charles. She asks Amy II what room Julian is in.

Curtis and Jason find the parking permit, along with empty cans, chip bags, candy wrappers, and a bad smell. Curtis says it’s nasty. That’s what I say about my husband’s work van. There’s nothing in the back, but when he closes the sliding door,  Jason notices that something is behind the truck logo and starts to peel it off.

Julian tells Alexis to relax. It will be their secret. Provided she does someting for him in return. Like we didn’t expect that.

Anna tells Robert that she doesn’t think it’s a coincidence that the place burned to the ground. She thanks Robert, saying she’s finally getting somewhere. She looks at an article on her laptop about a fire at Bedlington, and says, “Valentin, what did you do?”

Nina tells Charlotte that Santa wants to know what she wants for Christmas.

Laura tells Dante and Lulu that Anna is working hard to get something against Valentin. She tells Rocco she wants to see what Santa gave him, but he can’t find it. Lulu heads toward Santa.

Val tells Nina that he’s explained about Santa to Charlotte (don’t they have Santa in France or wherever she lived?) He says he’s told Charlotte that Santa can bring her anything except a purple unicorn. A pony isn’t out of the question though. Santa asks if Charlotte wants a pony, but she says the only thing she wants is a momma. Aww!

Lulu stares at Charlotte on Santa’s lap with a mixture of surprise, love and expectation. I believe we’re to assume she thinks Charlotte is her lost daughter.

Tomorrow, Michael asks Carly for a favor, Sam asks why Alexis is with Julian, and Curtis and Jason shake down the van driver.

Vanderpump Rules

Here’s where I ponder for an entire hour how anyone in their right mind could be interested in James.

Schwartz and Katie are going to the wedding venue in Lake Tahoe. Katie is expecting the blue sky wedding of her dreams. She expects a lot. It’s a really cute place, out in the woodsy country with an old grist mill. Schwartz says Katie wants a Lisa Vanderpump wedding on a Tom and Katie budget. Apparently, his input is unwanted though. Why would this be a surprise? It’s a given that all the groom needs to do is show up.

Katie says they’re already in the woods, so she doesn’t want it overly rustic. Woodsy elegance is the theme. The planner asks about how they met, and Schwartz says he thinks they just got drunk and had sex. He asks what the damage is so far. 24K. Way past the 10-15K he was thinking. Hahahahahahaha! That Schwartz is so clueless.

Ariana and Tom go to the gym. Tom tells us that you have to keep your beach body on stand-by in LA. James is there, and Tom asks if he’s in trouble. James tells them he got fired from SUR and PUMP. Tom asks about Raquel, and James says she knows all about it. In his interview, he claims Jax and GG made up a rumor about him getting together with GG.

Lala asks to talk to Lisa. They step outside. Lala says she spoke to Katie about the rumors, and her boyfriend isn’t married. Lisa thinks she’s turning red, and Lisa is right. The more Lala protests – even though Lisa isn’t the one accusing her of anything – the pinker she gets. Lisa says it’s not her business, but something seems off. In her interview, Lala claims she was blushing because she respects Lisa. She wishes Lisa would trust her more. She’s like an alcoholic who is three sheets to the wind, but insists that they haven’t been drinking.

Tom goes to an underwear model job. He puts some socks where his junk is. Then he shoves a peach in there. Tom wonders if he’s not “showing well.” He’d like to be more choosy about his jobs, but needs wedding money. I’m glad I’m not a male underwear model.

SUR is busy, and Jax is over an hour late. Lisa tells manager Brooke to write him up when she sees him. He strolls in, saying he got locked out. In her interview, Lisa says the last time, he was locked up. She tells him to apologize to the other employees and not to be cheeky. She tells them to hit him where it hurts and not give him his share of the tip. Ugh! I hate shared tips. It just seems so unfair, although I do give this group credit for working hard. When they’re not in a closet crying or something.

Tom and Ariana bike to a restaurant for date night. The valet parks their bike, which is actually kind of cute. Tom wonders how Schwartz and Katie are doing. They discuss Schwartz’s fear of Katie’s anger, and Ariana says it’s like a self-fulfilling prophecy. She’s glad that she and Tom agree on the important stuff. Ariana is willing to get a house with Tom, but not get married, and Tom thinks a 30-year fixed mortgage is more of a commitment than marriage. He’s probably right. Ariana says Tom has been in the same apartment for years, and it’s getting old. She’s okay with the house thing, but never wants to get married, which she views as surrendering to some societal thing. Tom says married or not, she’s the one for him.

Lala goes on a hike with friends Tiffany and Ellie. She says they’re like her sisters. She tells them she hasn’t done anything to anyone, but the girls have been attacking her about her relationship. They all agree on what they would do for a Range Rover. Ellie tells Lala about James getting fired for being drunk all the time. Lala says he was her one friend at work, and now work is going to be tougher. She tells them about GG and James screaming at each other. Ellie tells them that she hooked up with James a month ago and he denies it. Lala says James and his girlfriend just celebrated six months together, but Ellie brings up a picture on her phone. She kept it because James had told her that hooking up with her was meaningless and he had a girlfriend. She sends the picture to Lala.

Some of the gang get together for drinks. Schwartz says the wedding is starting to remind him of the bus from Speed. Tom asks Jax what happened between him and James. Jax says James’s stepping out with GG has given him something to poke James with. Tom says he feels badly for James letting Jax get to him. Tom tells them that James got fired. Jax is thrilled and now believes there’s a God Who loves us. He wants to celebrate. I don’t know why, but it never ceases to surprise me how immature most of the cast members are, and how much further along my friends and I were at their age. Tom says James literally has nothing, and Jax says he deserves it. In his interview, Jax makes fun of James DJing at Applebee’s.

Jax immediately relays the information to the rest of the group. He’s annoyed that Tom and Ariana criticized him for provoking James. Kristen, Ariana and Scheana discuss Kristen’s new veneers. Kristen gloats about James. Ariana brings up all the guys that Kristen has punched in the face. Kristen says she’ll assault James hardcore if he shows up at the wedding. Ooh, thug life.

Peter brings in a box of new shirts for the SUR guys. Scheana is jonesing for new dresses. She thinks they should wear the shirts instead. She puts one on and it does look cute as a dress. Ariana tells Scheana about Ellie showing the James photo around. Scheana says she thought Ellie had higher standards and James is a new low.

Commercial break. Oddly enough it’s for a Range Rover. I could think of a million different jokes.

Scheana meets Ellie for coffee. Ellie had thought James was joking when he said he was dating someone, and she says we’re all allowed to make mistakes. She talks about him telling her afterwards that it didn’t mean anything and she decided to take a picture in case she needed it. Okay… Scheana says she can understand wanting back-up in case James calls her a liar. I swear, I wouldn’t even date if I was single right now.

Scheana asks if she’s met Lala’s married boyfriend. Ellie acts shady, so Scheana thinks that’s a yes. Scheana says Lala is dishonest and can’t be trusted. She thinks it’s f-ed up and isn’t’ going to end well. Probably.

Katie has to check out Porsches for Lisa. Every year Lisa gets a new summer car, and wants Katie to send her pictures since she’s too busy to go herself. I’m not much of a car person, but I do like a Porsche. They’re about 175K or four grand a month. Katie and Schwartz take one for a test spin. Tom suggests they get a Porsche instead of having the wedding, but Katie says it’s non-negotiable. She thinks Schwartz is being mean, and he says he’s just joking. For what my two cents is worth, I think he’s often insensitive, but she seems to have no sense of humor. She makes a way bigger deal of it than it is. In his interview, Schwartz says she keeps saying she’s going to change, but it’s not happening. He tells her she’s lost control of her emotions, and she says he’s being insensitive. She accuses him of his d*ck not working right, and he says it works fine. How did we get here???

Stassi tells Kristen that Scheana is on her way with good gossip. Kristen misses having Stassi as a roommate, and lures her over with food and alcohol. Works for me. Scheana immediately tells them about James and Ellie dating. In her interview, Kristen says she upgraded, while James keeps going down the totem pole. Scheana tells them about the photo. She moves on to Ellie confirming that Lala has a married boyfriend, which wasn’t really a confirmation, so she embellishes. Stassi says they’ve gotten the information from several independent sources who don’t know one another. Stassi tells them that there’s also a sex tape out there, and in her interview, she does a PSA, telling women to stop taping themselves. Kristen calls Lala skank trash. Honestly, you’d think they were all hillbillies. Come to think of it, The Beverly Hillbillies didn’t act like this.

Lisa takes Katie shopping for restaurant plants. They’re going to hang succulents in little glass planters and I adore this idea. Lisa says they get stuff from the flower market once a week. Katie tells Lisa about Schwartz not hearing her, and getting defensive when it’s unnecessary. Lisa tells her to choose her battles. In her interview, Lisa sees problems up ahead. They get a bunch of gorgeous potted floral plants.

Lala visits James bearing champagne. She asks about him getting fired. She asks if it had anyting to do with GG, but he says no. He says there’s only so much cake to go around. Bleh. She asks if he has something to tell her about Ellie. He’s like, what? Lala says she has a picture of them together in bed in March. He denies it, and she shows him. He says he has nothing to worry about – that was so last year – and claims she photoshopped it. Lala tells him to quit raising his voice and says that’s how he ruins friendships. He says she ruins friendships too. Lala tells him that she’s heard a lot about him, and he says he’s heard she’s dating a married man. She says her boyfriend isn’t married. He asks why she’s being secretive, and he says she hasn’t told one person. He’s vague about wanting to be there for her.

Next time, the new dresses come in, Ariana tells Tom to quit stealing her thunder, and Orlando protests and sadness.

🔊 Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce starts Wednesday,  January 11 at 10 pm. I like Odd Mom Out better, but this show is good too.

❄ ☕Timber Creek Lodge is also back on Bravo (following Vanderpump Rules). The show has been rebooted and the previous cast just booted. Hopefully, this time they’ll take a page from Below Deck‘s book and learn how to actually give guests the five-star treatment. First up is a bachelor party.

November 28, 2016 – Everyone into the Rehab! Drunken Mistakes on GH & Drunken Arguments at SUR

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Nell tells Sonny that she thinks Jax just wants to help Carly. She tells him she saw them kissing and probably misinterpreted it. Sonny asks the same question I do – how can you misinterpret that?

Carly thanks Jax for his Thanksgiving help. Josslyn asks if he can make dinner again on Christmas. He suggests taking her to Australia for the holiday, but she says that would be two more people for Carly to miss.

Jordan confronts Andre about answering her phone and telling Curtis to leave her alone.

Curtis asks Valerie if she’d join him when her shift is over for drinks and an apology.

Jason and Sam are out for ice cream. Sam tells Jason about how Alexis went out for whipped cream, but then texted her saying that she was with Diane who’d had a fight with Max. Jason thinks Sam isn’t buying Alexis’s story.

I laugh again when we revisit Alexis hitting the accelerator instead of backing up, sending Julian into the air. I can’t help it. It just doesn’t look real. Alexis can’t believe what she just did and gets out of the car. She makes a phone call when Julian won’t answer her.

Jax gets a phone call. While he’s talking in the hallway, Carly tells Josslyn not to pressure him. He rejoins them, saying that his mother is sick, and he has to fly back to Australia.

Nell tells Sonny that Jax is walking around like the man of the house, and he’s spending the night. Sonny asks if he’s sleeping with Carly. Well, actually he says “my wife.”

Andre tells Jordan that he did answer her phone. She says she has voicemail, so that was unnecessary. She asks if he told Curtis to leave her alone, and Andre admits it. He says Curtis had already riled her up, and he thought he was doing her a favor. She asks if he’s out of his mind. Seriously.

Curtis tells Valerie that he knows he made a mistake, but they had a good thing going. He tells her he’s not working for Julian anymore and wants to make things right. He entices her with Thanksgiving football, as friends, but she says they’re not friends anymore.

Sam tells Jason about how Alexis seemed to be looking for an excuse to leave. She says ever since Julian was acquitted and Alexis lost her license, Alexis has been lost. Sam amends it, and says she’s probably worried about nothing, and tells him about Alexis possibly getting her license back after the new year.

On the phone, Alexis says there’s been an accident, and tells Julian not to die on her. Man, I would have just gotten the hell out of there and let him rot. I also think Alexis called Jax first, although he’s giving a really poor excuse that can easily be found out.

Curtis asks Valerie for a Thanksgiving truce, but she says he’s not really sorry about anything. She says he is who he is, and he’s not going to change. They’re done.

Jordan tells Andre that the phone call was about a case, and Curtis was calling her out of respect. Andre says Curtis doesn’t respect anything. He asks if Curtis pounced on telling on him. She says just the opposite; she was trying to find out what happened with the case on his end. Andre tells her that if she can’t see how much aggravation he causes, Curtis wins. Remind me not to call Andre if I need therapy.

Curtis thanks Sam for including him in dinner. He asks if they can talk shop for a second. They set Danny up with some coloring and step away.

Alexis keeps yelling at Julian to answer her while the ambulance takes ten hours to get there. She asks why he didn’t just leave her alone. She hears the sirens and tries to pull herself together. She says she can’t stay. She tells Julian he’ll be fine and jets. I’ll bet she’s a lot more sober than when she got in the car before. I was actually hoping she’d make the same mistake again, but back over him this time. Didn’t happen.

Jax tells Carly and Josslyn that he didn’t get any details, but he was told he should get to the hospital right away. Josslyn asks if she should come with him, but he says to let him see what’s going on first. Josslyn goes upstairs. Jax says he hates leaving right now, but Carly says she understands. He tells her to try and find some kind of happiness. He hopes it doesn’t involve Sonny, but tells her that she has to do what she has to do. She thanks him for not feeding into her issue confusion.

Nell tells Sonny she can’t say for sure what bed Jax is sleeping in. She says Jax asked her to book a suite at the hotel, but then decided to stay at Carly’s. Sonny says, of course.

Andre tells Jordan that maybe he overstepped, but he was coming from a good place. Jordan says he could have at least told her that Curtis called. She doesn’t need someone to make her decisions for her, and she thinks he’s feeding her a line of crap.

Curtis, Jason and Sam agree that the truck that blocked the view from the mini-mart camera wasn’t supposed to be there. Sam checked with the store and there were no deliveries scheduled. Curtis asks if they would mind doing some work even though it’s still the holiday in Port Charles.

Alexis gets back to her house, but no one is there. She relives the moment, and heads for the liquor.

Ava runs into the hospital. The nurse tells her they think it’s a hit and run.

Jax gets to Alexis’s. She’s glad to see him. Told ya! I ain’t been watching this 50 years for nuthin’.

Carly sees the Thanksgiving call from Sonny on her phone.

Sonny asks Nell to make him a drink. He says when Carly is hurt, she hurts herself even more, but he can’t criticize because he does it too. He says that’s how they got together, and before they loved each other, they hated each other. They were both hurt and one thing led to another. It was mutual self-destruction, but they learned to love each other and that’s how Morgan came to be. He was everything good about them, and now he’s gone, and now his wife is sleeping with Jax. Nell gives him a scotch and he slugs it down.

Andre asks what Jordan wants. She wants an apology and for him to understand what he did wrong. Sounds reasonable.

Curtis tells Jason about his conversation with Julian. He says that Julian claimed not to know Jessup, and then fired him. Jason tells him that Jessup has been dead for 20 years.

Carly tells Josslyn that Sonny had nothing to do with the bomb, and Jason is going to prove it. Josslyn asks if she’s going to forgive Sonny and take him back now.

Nell has a drink too, since no one should drink alone. Uh-huh. Sonny says there’s always trouble when Jax is around. Nell shuts off his phone and messes around with the family photos (?) while Sonny drunkenly prattles on about Jax. He wants to go punch Jax out, but Nell stops him, reminding him about his angle monitor. She tells him not to let Jax be the reason he goes back to prison. He says he’s not going anywhere, she is. He says he can take care of himself, and she should go home. Nell says he needs some rest, and offers to help him upstairs. Another uh-huh, along with an uh-oh.

Jax wants to know what’s going on with Alexis, saying he hardly recognizes her. He sees blood on her blouse, and she says she’s done something awful. She says she may have killed Julian.

Ava visits Julian, who’s hooked up to all kinds of tubes. He’s conscious, and she tells him that he’s in the hospital, explaining that he was in an accident. He doesn’t remember anything though. She asks how he feels, and he says like he’s going to die. She insists he’d better not die on her. She asks her to call everyone so he can see them one last time. She says she’ll call, but they’re survivors and remember that. Geez, for someone on pain meds, he sure is a downer. He tells her he didn’t get back into the business because of her.

Alexis tells Jax it was an accident; she put the car in the wrong gear. He asks if she was drunk, and she says she’d been drinking. He tells her leaving the scene of an accident is a serious offense, like she doesn’t know. She’s worried that Julian died after she left, and asks him to find out.

Valerie stops by Julian’s room to ask questions. Ava says the meds kicked in, but she thinks it was another attempt on Julian’s life by the same person who planted the bomb.

Jax tells Alexis that Julian is in serious, but stable condition, and expected to recover. Dammit! Jax wonders about the bartender, but Alexis says he didn’t see anything. Jax says he can testify to how many drinks she had. He asks what if it had been him or one of her daughters, and says to let this be her rock bottom. He wants her to check into rehab. She says she’ll find a treatment center and check in tomorrow. He says tonight. She begs him to give her a chance to talk to the girls. She asks him to trust her, but he says he doesn’t trust her one bit. Good for him. Those guys on Intervention would be proud.

Sam says the name that was on the van isn’t an existing company. Curtis thanks them and leaves. Sam is concerned about Sonny and wants to stop by.

Andre says if Jordan wants to talk more they can do it at home. She says they’re not going anywhere together.

Nell gets Sonny upstairs. She tells him he’ll be all right, and starts to take his shirt off. Sonny tells her she’s a good girl and lies down on the bed.

Jordan slams out of Kelly’s and Curtis approaches her. She says whenever there’s a problem, he’s involved, and he says she’s done a number on his life too.

Jax agrees to let Alexis wait. No, Jax, no! We all take back our pride in him. He says he’ll be checking on her later, and don’t make regret this. He leaves, and she looks at the liquor bottles.

Carly tells Josslyn that Sonny sounded lonely on the voicemail. She says he’s lost a child too. She’s been trying to stay angry and not see his side, but when she heard his voice, it touched her.

Sonny lies in bed. Nell says she’s sorry. She takes her clothes off and gets in with him, cuddling his arm.

Tomorrow, Molly asks Alexis where she’s been, someone sends Bobbie flowers, and Sonny wonders how he and Nell ended up sleeping together.

Vanderpump Rules

Ariana’s brother, Jeremy, has moved in with her and Tom, and it’s pretty much trashed their sex life. Ariana, Tom, Lala and Jeremy are out for lunch. They check out Lala’s range rover. Lala is being questioned about where she gets her money, but she says it’s nobody’s business. Truth. She tells them about James’s shared penthouse, and how she helped him make it less mannish for his girlfriend who is coming. They discuss James testing Lisa’s patience.

James has decorated his place with some welcome home stuff for his new girlfriend, Raquel. They’ve been seeing each other long distance, but she’s home for the summer. She’s a pageant queen who works with children, and I’m wondering if James is another charity case. Oh, I take it back, she’s just stupid. She wonders why people don’t like him. He claims it’s because they’re jealous. I’m always jealous of drunks who get in physical altercations while they’re working.

Stassi, Kristen and Katie are out drinking. Kristen is getting veneers put on, so I guess this is a good-by party for her old teeth. They talk about Scheana and Katie says she’s constantly saying Katie said things she didn’t.

Scheana and Brittany are at work, and Scheana is accusing Katie of the same thing. Lala comes in and they talk about the party happening in the outside area at SUR. Scheana brings up being Katie’s friend, and says talking with Lala makes her uncomfortable.

Kristen gets a text from Scheana who tells her about not talking to Lala. Stassi is proud of her, but thinks she should have done it earlier. She thinks it’s going to come up again and Katie thinks they should have a confrontation conversion about it.

Lisa meets with manager Diana, who asks how long they’re going to tolerate James. She says he’s coming in drunk, screaming and yelling, and disconnecting the music when he shouldn’t be. Lisa says if she can get definitive evidence that he’s drinking on the job, it’s all she needs.

Schwartz is late for the doctor. He says he’s having premarital heebie-jeebies, so he’s sought professional help. What? He says he feels like he’s going behind Katie’s back and talking about her. He says when she loses control and goes to the dark side, it scares him, but in her mind, he doesn’t have her back. He tells us that they have chronic falling outs, and alcohol is usually the catalyst. We flash back to some of them. He feels like he hasn’t been able to express how it “kills the Schwartz” when she does this. The therapist gives him homework – a discussion with Katie about what’s behind her rage. She asks if he’s ready to make a committment. There’s a cricket moment, but he says he’s sure about getting married. I’m not. He sounds like a big baby, although I think that’s already been established in previous seasons.

Jax gives Lisa a heads up that Scheana and Lala were going at it, although they weren’t really. Scheana comes in, and Jax says she can explain. Lisa tells her it’s their work place and they all need to knock it off. Scheana says Katie gets mad because she doesn’t hold grudges along with her. Lisa reminds her again that she’s at work. Jax tries to interject, and Lisa calls him out on being a sh*t stirrer.

Schwartz gets home, and Katie is coloring while she has some wine. The new happy hour. He tells her that he went to the therapist. He tries to explain that when she goes to the dark side, it pushes him away. He wonders if some of the things she says when she’s angry have a nugget of truth in them. In her interview, she says she needs him to be a support system and he doesn’t listen. (Yeah, Katie, it’s called being a guy.) Katie says he just dropped a bomb on her, and he says this isn’t going the way he wanted it to. In his interview, Schwartz says the therapist should have told him not to bring a knife to a gunfight. Schwartz tells Katie there are no doubts on his end, and he’s happy and excited. She’s kind of not having it though, and shoves what looks like lettuce with ranch dressing into her mouth.

Brittany asks Jax to clean the fish tank. He says he’s happy to be supportive, but wants a minute to have a sandwich when he gets home. He finds out they’re scheduled at the same time tonight, and wonders if James is working too. He wants to beat the crap out of him. While explaining this in her interview, Brittany has a continuous wardrobe malfunction where her shirt keeps popping open.

Kristen is back from the dentist and feeling fine. Time to drink. Katie tells her and Stassi about Schwartz’s therapist appointment, and how he said he’s scared of her when she drinks. Stassi says it’s just human emotion and the way women are. Scheana shows up with more champagne. She and Kristen discuss dentistry. Katie wants her to elaborate on the text she sent Kristen. Scheana tells Katie to have some faith in her. Katie doesn’t want Scheana to think she’s being combative. She says it’s not a huge issue, just something that doesn’t sit well with her. She’s afraid if she communicates, Scheana will think she’s coming at her. Kristen tells her she’s a little sensitive. In her interview, Scheana says she feels like it’s always three against one. Stassi says from now on, they confront each other in a constructive way when there’s an issue, even if they’re drinking. That should go well.

James says he knows Lisa told him not to drink before work, but doesn’t think it’s a big issue to be “a bit buzzy.” Brittany is trying to work on memorizing the wine list. Another server, Gigi, talks about having problems with James and how he called her a whore because she didn’t want to go out with him after finding out he had a girlfriend. Brittany asks if his girlfriend knows. She says no, and Jax says he will now.

Jax tells Tom and Ariana what James is saying about Gigi, and they think it’s similar to what he did to Lala when Brittany came to town. We flash back and they’re right. Lala asks James if he’s been hooking up with other chicks, and says Gigi has been telling on him. James denies everything. Jax happens to be walking by and adds his two cents. James asks why a man of his age cares. Jax says that James thinks he’s a rock star and anyone can just plug in a turntable. Oddly, it doesn’t end up with them punching each other. Yet.

Schwartz tells Tom that he left therapy feeling good, but when he tried talking to Katie, it didn’t work out very well. In his interview, he says Katie doesn’t want Ariana to be a bridesmaid for several reasons, including her friendship with Lala, but he’s going to make her a groomsman. Okay, and then he wonders why Katie doesn’t think he has her back. He consistently does things that go directly against how she feels when he’s well-aware of it.

James confronts Gigi. He acts like nothing ever happened. She says he’s always drunk and has no talent. Ha-ha! Diana tells them to both stop it, and Gigi tells her that James is drunk. Lala is glad the rumors aren’t swirling around her this time.

Diana wants to talk to Lisa outside. She says James is obnoxious. When she came in, he was yelling and flapping his arms, and everyone was looking. Lisa asks James what’s going on. He says nothing and she’s not buying it. He says there’s drama with bitches and she tells him not to talk like that. He asks why. She tells him he’s turning into an a-hole right before her eyes. She tells him he doesn’t understand what a civilized conversation is. He says he doesn’t appreciate her feeding in to what everyone is telling her. She says he’s not Calvin Harris. She tells him that when he’s creating a problem and raising his voice at her business, he needs to stop talking, but he continues to argue with her. She tells him to go spin his little disks and shut up, because she’s close to telling him to go home. In her interview, she says they’ve given him a million chances and this is how he repays them.

Outside during their break, Schwartz asks Ariana to be a groomsman. He says there’s a catch though. He tells her about the dinner he made for Jax and Tom and gives her some leftovers. We flash back to how he had put the food in and around a certain body part before cooking it. He tells her it’s official now.

James approaches Tom at the bar. Man bun alert! James suggests they have a shot, and Tom says only if he’s going home, since he wants him to keep his job. James claims everything is cool. Lisa sees them and tells James to go back to the booth. She tells Tom this is crazy, and he has to put his foot down. Ken takes James outside and says he’s drunk and getting one warning. James starts crying. Ken tells him he’d best not disrespect Lisa and they both tell him to go home.

The next day, James comes to Lisa’s to apologize. She asks what he has to say for himself and wonders what happened to the guy she knew. She tells him he’s turned into a drunken a-hole. He asks what to do. She says he’s not working for her any longer, and not coming into SUR or PUMP. He tells her that it’s crazy, and she says she’s given him more chances than anyone else would have. She tells him he needs to sober up. He starts crying (omg – these baby men) and says it’s hard. She says he should never have another drink in his life, and tells him to go. In her interview, Lisa says she did what she could. She’ll always support James, but refuses to enable him.

Next time, Tom tells Jax that he’s an instigator, Lala confronts James, and Katie and Schwartz argue. Basically, nothing new.

November 21, 2016 – A Search for Justice on GH, Too Many Butts at SUR & the OC Puts Us Out of Our Reunion Misery

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Dante gives Sonny’s file to Jordan. She wishes they had more evidence. Dante says it’s possible someone else could be responsible. Jordan says they discussed this, and asks if he can be impartial. He says he is, but she should stay open to other possibilities. She tells him that he’s off the case. So much for being open and actually wanting to get to the truth.

Hayden wakes up to Tracy standing near her bed. Tracy pretends she isn’t concerned, and says she’s just making sure Hayden doesn’t walk off with the silverware. Finn joins them, and Hayden tells him that she caught Tracy in the act of caring. She says she’s feeling almost 100% better and wants to go.

Dante asks Jordan if he’s impeded the case. Jordan says they can’t afford for it to be jeopardized. Michael joins them and asks if she’s going to railroad Sonny. He’s there to be supportive. Sonny is brought in, and says that it means more to him than Michael knows.

Nell asks Kiki how she’s doing. She amends it to being a stupid question. She says she saw Kiki at the funeral. Kiki says she’d give anything to change the way Morgan felt that night. He was a great guy and there was no one else like him. Nell says she could tell how special he was, and she hates that it’s tearing the family apart.

Jax tells Carly that they should stop making out, and Carly says no they shouldn’t. Jax says it isn’t right, and she says yes it is. She says he thought they were perfect for one another, and she didn’t see it at the time. He says she’s leaving Sonny out of the equation.

Jordan reminds Dante that he’s no longer on the case. Diane says that there is no case. Jordan says that Sonny confessed at the church, but Diane tells her that they were the words of a grieving father, and could be taken a hundred different ways. Sonny and company leave for court.

Kiki says she’s only hurting a fraction of what Sonny and Carly are, and when Sonny confessed, it was too much for Carly to handle. Nell says she can’t imagine how bad it must be for their solid marriage to collapse. Kiki says it’s not the first time, and Nell asks about their history.

Hayden says that she doesn’t feel sick. Finn says the antibiotics might have cured the underlying infection. He thinks it’s possible that the disease was caught early enough that it could have been eradicated. Hayden says she’s ready to leave, and Curtis pops in, saying he hopes not on his account.

Sam and Jason discuss who might have wanted to go after Julian. Besides a man who’s been dead for 20 years. Sam discovers that Oscar Jessup’s phone bill has been paid by an online account in China.

Jordan tells Sonny that she should have known his bout of conscience would be short lived. Diane has finagled house arrest for him, and Jordan says he stays cuffed until he gets home, which is just about the stupidest thing ever, and makes her seem vindictive. Jordan goes to get Sonny’s belongings. Sonny tells Dante that he believes what he said in the church. Dante says the evidence against him is pretty flimsy.

Kiki tells Nell that she thinks it’s the fifth time Sonny and Carly have been married (ha-ha! she thinks), but they always find their way back to each other. She believes if they focus on how much they loved Morgan, they can do it again. Nell asks what about Jax.

Jax reminds Carly that she’s still married to Sonny. She hurts and she wants someone to make her feel better; she wants comfort, even if it’s not from the best source. She apologizes, saying she didn’t know what she was thinking. She doesn’t want Jax to think she’s using him. He says the bottom line is that she’s grieving, and he’s fine with it. She says how embarrassing, and he says he’s here for her, just not like that.

Curtis introduces himself to Tracy. He says a mutual friend told him that Hayden was under the weather and he was in between jobs, so he stopped by. Finn suggests they let Hayden and Curtis talk. Curtis pretends he’s looking for work from Hayden, but she says she knows he cares. She says she’s fine now. Curtis says she’s as beautiful and feisty as ever, but not at her best. She says she doesn’t want Finn to feel any more guilty than he already does. Curtis wonders if she has a thing for Finn.

Tracy tells Finn she’s not buying his caring doctor act, and Finn acts ignorant. Tracy says he knows antibiotics can’t kill the underlying infection, and thinks he lied because he’s scared.

Hayden tells Curtis that she does not have a thing for Finn. He asks what’s really going on, and she says she’s really scared. Curtis says no little infection is going to get the best of her, and when he’s down with someone, he never gives up.

Finn tells Tracy that he’ll take whatever he can get as far as Hayden’s improvement goes. Tracy asks how he is, and he says fine – for now. She asks about the medication, and he tells her that he’s running low. Tracy asks what if he needs to share with Hayden, and he says he’ll cross that bridge when he comes to it.

Curtis tells Hayden that for a homeless woman, she sure came up in the world. She says except for the life threatening illness, she has it made. He says she’ll beat it. Out in the hallway, Curtis thanks Finn, and says that he has Curtis’s number if he needs him. Tracy and Finn go back into Hayden’s room and she’s out of bed. She tells them she’s going to take a shower, so she’ll be presentable for her next accommodations.

Kiki tells Nell that Jax isn’t Sonny’s favorite person. Nell says exes can be like that, and he’s stuck with Jax because of Josslyn. She wonders if Jax and Carly will get back together. Kiki says Sonny and Carly think the same way, and are like a united force. She thinks they belong together and so did Morgan, and thinks Carly feels the same way. Nell says it was great talking to her, but she has to go to work.

Carly tells Jax that she loves her kids and would do anything for them. It’s the actions that count though, not the words. She justified being with Sonny in her head, telling herself that he was keeping them safe, and now look what happened. She says she should have walked away a long time ago. Jax tells her that you can’t choose who you love, but Carly says you can choose who you walk away from. She feels empty and wonders if the aching, gnawing pain will ever go away. Jax promises her it will, but in the meantime, he’ll be there to help, as a good friend who knows her inside and out.

The bell rings. It’s Dante. He says he just came from Sonny’s arraignment.

Diane deposits Sonny in his house. The officer uncuffs him. Sonny tells her, nice work. She says as much as she loves her retainer, she loves justice more, and believes he’s innocent.

Jason tells Sam that whoever planted the bomb was in the parking lot at the same time he was. He wonders if he saw something that isn’t registering. Sam asks about other business’s surveillance cameras. Curtis – who is just popping in out of the blue everywhere today – says, like the mini mart across the street? He says the store got everything on video and he has it on his phone.

Finn beats Tracy at Backgammon, and now she owes him a favor. He wants her to ask Hayden to stay. Tracy says Hayden can’t wait to get out. Finn tells her that all he wants is for her ask. She says she’ll run it by Monica.

Dante tells Carly that Sonny pled not guilty. He says whatever Jason told him had a big affect, and asks Carly if she knows what it was. She tells Dante to talk to Sonny, but he says Diane claimed he wasn’t talking. He tells Carly about Sonny getting bail and being placed under house arrest. Carly asks what happens now, and Dante says nothing, as long as Sonny stays put, and he’s wearing an ankle monitor.

The officer explains the conditions of the monitor to Sonny and tells him good luck. After he leaves, Sonny asks Diane if she can get him out of this mess, and Diane asks if he’s met her. She going to have the confession thrown out as the words of a grief stricken father. She’s not making light of it, but it’s a bonus, and by the time they go to trial, Jason should have uncovered more evidence. She tells him to call if he needs company. He thanks her for what she did for him. She leaves and Sonny looks grim.

Curtis tells Jason and Sam that Julian fired him. He’s in this for the truth, and if they combine forces, they can get to the bottom of it. He says they can look at the video, but a delivery van blocked the view of Julian’s car, so it’s another dead end.

Jax asks if Dante is okay with this, and Dante says things have changed. Nell comes in and Dante leaves. Nell gives Carly some work stuff and the guest book from Morgan’s funeral. She thinks Carly might appreciate the nice comments and memories of Morgan. Jax asks if Nell could book him a suite at the MetroCourt.

Sam tells Jason that she can see if the story checks out at the mini mart. Jason tells her to hang on, and takes Curtis aside. He wants to know why Curtis is so interested in helping. Curtis says he doesn’t like loose ends, and there was something strange about how Julian fired him. Jason suggests they work together.

Sonny enjoys a drink, saying he can’t get that in Pentonville. Nope, you can’t. The doorbell rings. It’s Dante who’s burning a lot of calories today, bouncing from place to place. Sonny asks if he’s there as a cop, and Dante says he’s there as his son.

Finn goes into Hayden’s room. She comes out in a towel and says she needs to get dressed. Finn gets flustered and leaves. He sees Tracy in the hallway, and she says Cook wants her to find out what Hayden’s favorite dish is. She says Monica gave her okay, so she’s also extending the invitation. Tracy enters Hayden’s room and asks if she’d like to stay. Finn answers his phone. The test results are back. He asks if Hayden is positive for the disease.

Hayden asks Tracy if this is a joke, but Tracy says she can stay as long as she likes. Hayden says no, but Tracy asks why she’s making it difficult. Hayden asks why she’d want to stay where she isn’t wanted. Tracy tells her that if she doesn’t, Finn will be mad at the both of them.

Finn gets the results and doesn’t look happy.

Curtis and Jason look at the tape and wonder if the car is blocked on purpose.

Sonny says Dante doesn’t have to worry about him. Dante says he knows it must be strange, and Sonny says it is what it is. Dante says he stopped by Carly’s place and Jax was there. He told her that Sonny was home, but all she said was thanks for letting her know.

To his surprise, Carly tells Nell that Jax will be staying at her place. Nell goes into the office, and Carly promises not to make any more moves on Jax.

At the bar, Michael asks Kiki if Nell is around, and Kiki says he just missed her. He tells Kiki about Sonny, and says that he wants Nell to keep an eye on him, since she’s babysitting Avery anyway.

Carly asks Jax if they can act like the kiss never happened, and he says no one needs to know. Well, Nell is going to know, because she’s eavesdropping, and probably taking notes.

Tomorrow, Alexis has good news, Lucy has the pills, and Thanksgiving begins. As usual, I wonder how the Quartermaines will end up having pizza.

Vanderpump Rules

Oh my Lord, if I have to hear Lala make that remark about no one having worked on their “summer bodies” one more time, I’m going to go out of my mind.

The girls (minus Ariana and Lala) gather for a lunch with Katie. Everyone has a balloon to pop, and there are papers inside asking them to be bridesmaids. Apparently Kristen has been waiting for this moment since she introduced Katie and Schwartz. Katie talks about how she met all of them.

Katie asks Brittany how it’s going with Jax. She thinks she’s finally gotten through to him, but Stassi suggests she take his credit card and buy what she wants. In her interview, Stassi says she now looks at Jax like an ape who has a really cool girlfriend. I’d say that’s a pretty accurate description. Katie gets sentimental, and Stassi says she’s not going to take any moments for granted anymore. Stassi asks about Ariana, but Katie says Ariana isn’t into the bridesmaid thing, and she didn’t want to put her on the spot to say no. In her interview, she adds that Ariana’s defense of Lala added to the decision making process. Stassi calls it the “dream team” and I gag a little. Wow. That’s a lot of bridesmaids. I had three.

At SUR, Lala asks James if he’s fired yet. He’s there to talk to Lisa and guesses he’ll find out. In his interview, James talks about people saying things about how many strikes he has, but since they don’t have baseball in England, he doesn’t comprehend the analogy. I think even if they did have baseball in England, he still wouldn’t comprehend it. He’s not the brightest bulb in the box.

Tom and Jax set up the bar for the evening ahead. They’re going to Schwartz’s after work. Jax brings up James’s altercation at PUMP, and hopes Lisa fires him for real this time. I’d give anything to eat at SUR and run into Lisa. Then I’d beg her to adopt me.

In her interview, Lisa says she’s heard a lot, but still doesn’t know what started the fight. She asks to talk to James in private. She tells him he’s upsetting her business. James is so delusional, he thinks that people see him winning and don’t like it. He really does think he’s a bigger deal than he is. He says he’s innocent in this, but Lisa says experience has taught her not to trust him. She says it’s difficult for her to keep him employed, and she’s given him more chances than he deserves. She says lucky for him, it looks like the other guy was the perpetrator, but if she catches him doing one wrong thing, he’s out. Or it’s his third strike as we say in America. In her interview, Lisa says if one person had said he was at fault, he would have been gone.

Commercial break. I get a Trader Joe’s maple walnut blondie and think this is the very reason I will never be as thin as these people. Never.

Scheana talks to Lisa about James, saying he’s a 24-year-old child. She says he can’t keep blaming his father for his own bad choices forever. At the bar, Ariana and Katie talk about James. Ariana asks James if everything is cool with Lisa. He says yes, and they high-five. In her interview, Katie calls James the worst version of a person humanity has to offer. Ha-ha! Ariana asks Katie how the wedding plans are going. Katie explains why she didn’t ask Ariana to be a bridesmaid, but dances around actually saying it. In her interview, Ariana says it might have been easier on her if she’d just come out with it. She tells Katie she’ll be involved where Katie wants her to be, whether she’s wearing a bridesmaid’s dress or not. Ariana seems like one of the most mature of the group, so I can’t fathom why she insists on being friends with Lala and James either.

Schwartz wants to cook Jax and Tom a nice dinner to show his appreciation for their friendship. They show up semi-formally dressed, but in flip-flops, as an homage to the many times they couldn’t get into a club because Schwartz was wearing them. Schwartz tells them about the prenup conversation. Tom thinks it’s a classic example of how lawyers make money, although he’s all for it. Schwartz tells them how much he appreciates everything they’ve done for him, and asks them to be groomsmen. His two to Katie’s ten. The dinner looks great and Jax says Brittany doesn’t even make him dinner like that.

They discuss old times and sleeping on air mattresses. Schwartz talks about how they hazed him for the first year he was in LA, and how he’s been looking for a way to make things even ever since. I take note that Tom didn’t eat his broccoli. Schwartz says it’s time to start repayment and gives them envelopes. They contain pictures of Schwartz’s butt with their food in and on it. He tells them that he also ran three miles beforehand and didn’t shower. In his interview, Tom says it’s Shakespearean in nature, like cutting up someone’s son and feeding it to him. Jax says the food was good, butt cheeks or no butt cheeks, and I’m shocked at how in stride they both take it. And I wonder if Katie realizes how immature Schwartz really is. Tom totally deserves this, if only for whatever the hell way he’s wearing his hair. It’s some kind of braid on the top of his head ending in a man bun.

Katie shops for invitations with Kristen and Stassi. Katie wants to send the invites on a tea towel, which is the coolest idea ever. When the clerk goes in the back, Katie tells the girls she’s having a housewarming party. In her interview, Stassi talks about how she and Patrick are heading toward their final break-up, and how all of the celebrations are difficult for her. After crunching the numbers, the clerk tells Katie that it comes out to about $18.50 an invitation. I think I spent that in total on mine. Okay, maybe it was a little more, but still.

Lisa checks out how things are going at PUMP. She asks James if he’s staying out of trouble and keeping his nose clean. I’ll bet that meant something totally different in the 80s. Lala tells Ariana that she feels badly about Scheana, since they used to be friends. She wants to talk with Scheana, and asks if she can have a minute. Lala wonders where they hit a point where they weren’t okay with each other. She says she realizes she’s been a bully and isn’t happy with herself. Scheana says she needs to talk to Katie. She says the things Lala has been saying about Katie are not cool.

Scheana tells Katie about Lala’s apology and how she defended Katie. We flash back to Lala’s interruption at Katie’s engagement party. Katie says she’s been hearing that Lala is dating a married man who’s been bankrolling her. She says she prefers to make money the old fashioned way. She means hard work for a paycheck, but I guess she doesn’t realize the irony that prostitution is called the world’s oldest profession.

Lala says human to human, she owes this bitch an apology. While Katie is on break outside, Lala sits down. She says she’s not there to argue, but to apologize for low blows she should have never made. She says Katie wants to throw rocks at her. Katie asks if she’s referring to being labeled a whore, and says she calls it as she sees it. After claiming to be in a committed relationship, Lala says they all say things they don’t mean, and she’d accept a apology from Katie. She denies having a married boyfriend, and says her parents still pay for a lot. Lala makes a snarky remark about Katie’s car, and Katie calls her an idiot and walks back into SUR.

Schwarz gripes about spending more money on a housewarming party, and tells Katie the invitations better not be more than five bucks a piece. She clues him in, and tells him it’s standard. He says standard idiocy. In his interview, he claims he could throw a decent wedding for three grand and that barely covers the invitations. I did one for five grand (including the honeymoon), but I had a lot of creative and generous friends, as well as it being quite a while ago. Katie tells Schwartz about Lala’s pseudo apology. She says that afterward, she saw Lala with Scheana looking friendly, and thinks Scheana had better watch her back.

The friends gather for the housewarming. Everyone brings presents. In her interview, Scheana says she and Shay are in a good place and he’s curbed the drinking. Jax talks to Tom about the bachelor party. He wants to get transvestites or transgenders. From where” The Yellow Pages? Google? Craigslist? Tom suggests a guy in drag. Jax debates that it’s the same thing, and while as usual he’s an idiot, I try to figure out how that’s different from a transvestite.

In the kitchen, Brittany asks Stassi whats’ wrong. Stassi says she’s embarrassed about her flip-flopping relationship. She says every time she tries to explain it, she doesn’t know what the problem is, even though they love each other. She starts to cry and Brittany hugs her. She says Stassi can call any time and she won’t judge her. She makes it all better by giving Stassi some of her vodka and soda.

Lala visits James. Lala tells him Katie wasn’t having it and he says she didn’t really accept his apology either. Neither one of them care, but Lala wonders where Katie is getting that she’s dating a married dude. In his interview, James says he doesn’t know who Lala is dating, but he’s staying out of it. They make fun of the hosuewarming party that they weren’t invited to. James tells Lala not to let them make her feel excluded. He talks about how his career is going to skyrocket.

The party is in full swing, meaning Katie can’t tell lemons from limes at this point. Jax and Peter discuss how Scheana’s butt has shrunk. Butts seem to be the theme tonight. Katie shows Stassi and Kristen the bedroom, which is done in industrial chic eclectic, which I don’t believe for one minute is a thing. Katie tells the girls about calling Lala out on her married boyfriend. In her interview, Stassi commends Katie on actually saying something out loud. Kristen calls Lala a sociopathic skank. Wow. She’s kind of right, although Lala still has a conscience. If she keeps ignoring it though, she’ll get there.

Scheana tells Jax about Lala’s apology tour, and how Katie told her if she’s dishonest in one area, how can she trust her in another? Ariana says Lala’s life is none of their business, but Scheana says if you lie about your life, how can anyone believe you about anything?

Stassi says she can’t even give Lala a hair flip in a bitchy way. She wants to pretend Lala does’t exist that much. Scheana comes in and the other two leave. Katie tells her that the privious night sat uneasy with her after she saw Scheana at the bar with Lala. Scheana says she was just there when Lala walked up and she doesn’t want to be friends with Lala. Katie says that now Lala is comfortable talking to Scheana, she feels weird about it. Scheana promises that she’s 100% supportive of Katie and suggests she go back to her own party.

Next time, Schwarz asks Ariana to be one of his groomsmen, Katie and Scheana argue, Jax and James argue at work, and Lisa calls James a drunken a-hole. Definitely worth the price of admission.

The Real Housewives of the OC – The Reunion – Part Three

We revisit the dune buggy accident in Glammis. Andy asks Tamra about feeling responsible and she says she still feels that way. Heather says she remembered Terry telling her to go limp if she’s ever in an accident. Good to know. Kelly says it was surreal, and talks about seeing the bar on top of Tamra. Tamra says she thought there was a body on her and was afraid to open her eyes. Andy brings up Shannon not going because of health reasons and Vicki questioning it in her blog. Shannon defends herself, citing several doctors.

Next “Hospitalgate” is discussed. We flash back to Shannon and Meghan acting like idiots, and the repercussions. Heather makes a stank face about Meghan revoking her hostess charter. Meghan says she didn’t realize it was as bad as it was. Heather says she told her exactly what happened, and brings up a text that Meghan sent afterward, agreeing that it must have been horrible. Andy asks if Meghan doesn’t think being airlifted to a hospital was important. Heather says there are certain criteria; they just don’t airlift anyone. Meghan says Vicki had lied about a lot of stuff, and Heather says it wasn’t Vicki telling her. It bothered her that the immediate human reaction wasn’t, what can I do? I tend to agree. It might be different if they hadn’t been out in the middle of nowhere and Vicki was by herself. I have actually stepped in to help someone I couldn’t stand because there was no one else available at the time.

A viewer asks why Heather and Kelly didn’t go to visit Vicki. Heather says she had one of her kids with her and was driving an RV. Meghan says to make a decision for herself is one thing, but to judge her is another. Tamra says regardless of what the past was, if someone is in an accident, you visit. Vicki chastises Andy for belaboring the point, and Shannon says she’s bossy. Andy asks if Shannon has met her, and Vicki tells her to get used to it. They talk about Briana saying that Vicki was overly dramatic while recovering. Tamra says Briana claimed that Vicki was taking her neck brace off when the cameras weren’t rolling. Vicki says Briana was very ill as well, and doesn’t think she totally grasped what was going on. Oddly enough, Heather comes to Vicki’s defense. We go over Meghan calling Tamra “reckless.” Heather apologizes for being hard on Meghan about it, but says that Meghan had been alking a lot of smack about her and wishes she’d come to her. They talk about hospital visitation some more and I mentally beg Andy to move on.

Finally. We go over some klutzy Vicki moments, like when she tripped and lost her nipple cover. Next is the Ireland trip and the same flash backs we’ve seen a dozen times. Zzzzzzz… The worst is how these women keep saying they weren’t trying to get Kelly drunk when they so obviously were. We end with the screaming match bus trip. Andy starts with the nose flick thing Kelly was doing. Kelly uses the famous it was a miscommunication excuse. Meghan says she feels Kelly was baited, but the whole thing was stupid. A viewer demands that Heather explain why she was carrying a flask of Fireball when she only drinks champagne. Heather claims she was just being funny. Too bad nobody ended up laughing.

Moving on to the dinner. Andy asks what Shannon’s motivation was in trying to get Kelly to drink. Shannon makes up some idiotic excuse. Andy asks why Tamra quietly asked the waiter to make doubles, but she never answers, and Shannon makes something else up. Vicki talks about how she warned Kelly, and Shannon gets so wound up that you’d think someone put a quarter into her. Her voice gets high and squeaky, and she rattles off a few times that Vicki encouraged Kelly to drink. Kelly says the dinner was 100% a set up.

Kelly does a perfect imitation of Shannon’s squeaky voice asking her why she wasn’t drinking. Andy talks about naked wasted, and says as a connoisseur of the show, it looked similar to him. Tamra says that was a million years ago. Shannon says it was before her time, and they looked bad, but there was no ill intent. Right.

Andy goes there. He asks Shannon about Vicki’s comment that David beat her. Shannon says in 2003 she called the police over a verbal argument that he wanted to end. Vicki says she’s fine with that, but not the lying. She says she has proof. Vicki says she didn’t want to do this, and Tamra gets loud and stupid. Vicki tells her to shut up, and she says no, you. Andy tells everyone to shut up, and let Shannon speak. Shannon says she and David went out to dinner. It was when she first found out about the affair, and either she had too much to drink or someone slipped something in her drink. She doesn’t remember what happened, but David found her blocks away. Shannon says most people will believe her because she’s told the truth, but now it’s out there and someone might approach her kids about it. She calls Vicki despicable, and says she’s never talking to her again, which seems fine with Vicki. She says she’d never stay in a marriage where the guy was beating her. Andy tries to slip in something about Briana accusing Brooks of hitting Vicki, but it gets lost in the confusion. Everyone starts talking at once and Shannon needs a minute.

She goes off crying and lapdog Tamra follows. Tamra tells Shannon that Vicki isn’t a nice person. They linger in front of the door, and a few people have to squeeze past. They all have bemused looks on their faces.

Andy asks if this is the secret Vicki had. Heather says it speaks to her character that she’d tell Kelly about it. Vicki says she didn’t want to bring it out, and Heather says if that was the case, she wouldn’t have said anything. Still in the hallway, Shannon babbles and Tamra says Vicki knows what she’s doing, and is just trying to bring them down. Heather says Vicki should apologize to Tamra, and Vicki gets loud, saying Tamra said worse things about her. Heather gets all schoolmarmish. Tamra tells Shannon, let’s turn this around, and they go back in.

Andy asks if Shannon said something to Vicki and it got misconstrued. Vicki swears that Shannon called her at the time. Kelly seems to think Shannon’s story makes sense now, and Andy wonders why Vicki is sticking with what she said. Shannon shows pictures of herself in a bikini and says see? no bruises. Vicki says that a man should never touch a woman. Shannon says they’re in agreement on that one.

Andy brings up the Eddie being gay thing, and Vicki says it was a rumor that Tamra already knew about. Vicki says she doesn’t know if it’s true, but all she did was say it was out there. She says that Tamra has been trashing her for years . Tamra says, shut up, old lady, revealing her usual charming self and blowing her witness. The really stupid thing is that she’s not exactly a spring chicken. I guess her fear of growing old causes her to become ageist in an argument. She tells Vicki to stop spreading rumors. Andy asks why Heather is angry with Kelly instead of Vicki for telling Kelly. Heather agrees she had douchy moments on the bus. She says they all did, and she cops to hers.

Andy brings up the puppet-master thing that Kelly said. Heather says it’s more like Kelly is (no, you), since she tried to build hate against heather. Kelly says everyone has seen heather for who she is now and the world hates Heather and loves her. I’m speechless, and so is Heather.

Andy asks where Tamra and Vicki are relationship-wise. Tamra says now that Vicki has been spreading rumors, they’re done. Vicki says she’s sorry she repeated anything to Kelly. Meghan thinks her ego is getting involved in her apology. Andy asks if Kelly has made any progress. Kelly says she apologized and tried to move forward, but it seems like it doesn’t matter.

Final moment. If they cold have one do-over what would it be? For Heather, it’s the bus ride to the airport. She says personal narratives and booze made it explode. For Meghan, she would have listened to Heather about the accident. For Tamra, it’s pushing Kelly; for Kelly, it’s talking about Tamra’s daughter. For Shannon, it’s yelling about her mother-in-law at David, and for Vicki, it’s talking to Kelly about things at the beginning of the season, when she should have kept her mouth shut.

Andy says they’ve gotten everything off their chest, and it’s time to heal. Shannon says the damage is done. She tells Vicki that spousal abuse is a serious allegation, and Vicki says so is con woman. Andy breaks out the Guinness and champagne cocktails, and toasts to season 11, moving forward, and Meghan’s baby girl. Baby’s first reunion. Yikes.

November 14, 2016 – Sonny Unloads His Gun, Jax Spreads a Rumor & Kelly is the OC Reunion’s Target

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Oh no. The president is expected to speak in 15 minutes. Should I even bother? You know this will probably be a long one.

At the funeral, Sonny tells everyone that his son is gone and most of them blame him, but they can’t blame him more than he blames himself. Sonny says Morgan’s life wasn’t easy, and Morgan deserves to be at peace, but that can’t happen because of what he did. He knows how to make it happen though. He takes out his gun.

Nina is talking on the phone with Nathan. She says she has everything under control.

Valentin approaches Laura on her way into Windemere. He says he doesn’t have any keys and can’t find the caretaker.

Scotty joins Ava for a secret meeting. He’s annoyed that she picked a place that doesn’t serve alcohol. She says she’d expected him to carry a flask. He asks why she’s wearing black, and she says she’s thinking of going to Morgan’s funeral. Well, she’d best hurry up, since it’s pretty much over. Scotty says he knows she switched Morgan’s medication, but Sonny and Carly don’t. She says it’s only a matter of time before they do.

Sonny puts the gun down. He says violence smothered his son’s life. Morgan had a future in front of him, but he won’t have the chance to do what he wanted because of Sonny. Sonny wants to make it clear that no one except him is responsible and looks pointedly at Carly. Jordan interrupts, asking if he’s confessing. He says he has to get this out first. Jason approaches him and says this is a bad idea.

Sonny goes to Carly. He talks about her asking him to change and to stop the cycle of violence. He apologizes for breaking his promise and says now their beautiful boy lost his life. He tells Michael that what he said was right – Morgan always fogave. He tells Michael not to beat himself up. He’s the one who should have protected Morgan. He says he’d do anything to trade places with Morgan., so he could be sitting next to his mom in church. He says the only thing he can do is to take responsibility for his actions. He’ll be sorry the rest of his life, and do everything to atone for it.

He takes the bullets out of the gun. He holds out his hands and tells Dante to do what needs to be done.

Laura tells Valentin she’ll be gone before the day is out. He says he extended an olive branch, and she says he knows what he can do with it. Ha-ha! Feisty Laura. He tells her if she changes her mind she’s welcome to stay.

Nina says she loves her brother but he’s a worrier. We see she’s talking to Charlotte, who’s sitting on the floor in Nina’s office. Nina tells Charlot while Nathan is making plans, they’ll play. Charlotte wants to play paper dolls, and Nina says she can definitely make that happen.

Ava tells Scotty about what Lucy said. She’s concerned that if she makes a wrong move, Lucy will go running to Sonny. She says if Lucy brings the pills to Sonny and Carly, they’ll know she switched them. Scotty says he’d lay low. Ava says there’s no statute of limitations with Sonny, and if he finds out, she’s dead. She tells Scotty he knows what needs to be done. He says she needs a dye job and the first freighter to Cuba. She tells him that they have to get the pills.

Jordan says she’s not going to arrest Sonny here, but wants him to come in for questioning. Sonny, Jordan and Dante leave. Michael asks Carly if she’s okay. She says she’s fine and Sonny made his choice. What’s done is done.

Valentin says he can’t wait for Charlotte to move in with him. To get any new audience members and viewers with short term memory loss up to speed, Laura responds, “the house you stole from my son whom you killed.” Doc is at the door, and Valentin says welcome to my home. Doc wants to know how it’s his home. He says he’ll let Laura explain. It belongs to the Cassadines, but she’ll always have a place there.

Carly talks to Nell about the reception and tells her to cancel the room. She says she wanted justice for Morgan, but she’s not sure this is what she had in mind. Speaking of the funeral, was no one going to the cemetery? Or were they just going to keep the casket in the house? There was never any mention of burying it and several people left early.

Dante tells Sonny that he needs an attorney, but Sonny just wants it over with. Sonny goes into the interrogation room, and Jordan takes Dante aside.

Jason hands a cop some money and goes into the interrogation room by the other door. He tells Sonny that he’s making a mistake.

Well, ABC is going to cover the president. I may as well go back to looking at pics of that underwater restaurant in the Maldives that I will never be able to afford to go to.

Doc asks Laura how Valentin made a claim to the estate. Laura says it’s a long, sad, misogynistic story. She asks if he wants to help her pack. He says, let’s just get out of here. He tells her they can brainstorm on what she’s going to do next. She says she’s moving in with Dante and Lulu. Doc tells her that she’s welcome to stay with him.

Nina and Charlotte are getting along great. Charlotte makes a purple paper doll and Nina says purple is her favorite color. Valentin shows up with purple tulips. What a coincidence. He says he gets to sit with not just one, but two beautiful ladies.

Ava says Scotty knows Lucy’s sweet spots, and can distract her and get the pills. He asks what’s in it for him.

Kiki tells Dillon that she needs time to herself to sit with her feels and memories, and say good by to Morgan in her own way. She tells him she’ll see him later. She leaves. Nell does damage control on the phone. Bobbie asks Michael what he thinks of Nell. He thinks she’s great and she’s been supportive of Carly. Bobbie is like, hmmph!

Carly tells Jax she can’t believe Sonny confessed. Jax says Sonny doesn’t like violence, but has no problem using it, and doesn’t consider collateral damage. He says Sonny is smart, but he doesn’t think Sonny got it until today. Carly says what about Morgan’s brothers and sisters, and what about Avery? Ava will get full custody. Jax says it will hurt some people, but Sonny did the right thing. Today he took the first step in protecting his family

Jordan gives Dante the option to sit this out. Jason tells Sonny that Diane is on the way. Sonny says he’s making a full confession and will gladly go to prison. Jason says under no circumstances is he to confess to anything.

Yep, here it comes. The State of the Union. Sigh….

At least it’s only Monday.

Vanderpump Rules

The gang gathers in Lisa’s office. It’s World Dog Day and Lisa brings along Nappy, a little one-eyed terrier. Jax asks if there’s going to be alcohol. Lisa discovers that Kristen has gotten an invite. Brittany is ready to punch Jax for spreading rumors about her and Kristen. She tells Scheana that she doesn’t even want to be around him right now. Scheana thought that maybe since he’d been with Brittany, he was being more respectful, but she takes that back now. Scheana invites Brittany to stay at her apartment. Where’s Shay these days anyway?

Tom and Schwartz go for some much needed relaxing time at the spa. Yes, I’m being sarcastic. Do these people even work?

Katie visits Stassi. Stassi says it’s her first apartment where she isn’t living with someone or her father is paying for it. They talk about World Dog Day, which is going to be at the local dog park. Stassi says she tried working for Lisa once and it lasted four hours. We flash back, and she says it’s number four on the list of things she’s scared of. Katie is hoping that it doesn’t turn into the Hunger Games of bridesmaids when she has to choose.

Tom and Schwartz talk about the wedding plans. As Schwartz is talking about cutting corners. He doesn’t want a cake. I hope Katie plans a cake anyway. Seriously. WTF? Tom asks if he’s sure he wants to do this and thinks maybe Schwartz and Katie should get some pre-wedding therapy.

James takes Scheana aside at SUR. He says obviously the night didn’t go well, referring to the OK! Magazine party. He claims Scheana came at him, but she says he approached them and started insulting them about not working on their summer bodies. He apologizes and she suggests he apologize to Katie as well. Although she accepts his apology, in her interview, Scheana says she doesn’t buy it, and sure enough, in his interview, James says it’s bullsh*t.

Lala is having lunch with her mom, Lisa. Not that Lisa. She says she wishes she didn’t have to lean on her mom so much, and Lisa tells her that’s what moms are for. Lala says she thinks she’s turning into a vicious person and Lisa says that’s not her. Yes. It is. Lala says she doesn’t feel good about it after she’s mean, and her mom says it probably brings her back to being bullied herself. Lala says she knows there’s a family history of drinking problems (and problems with naming their children ridiculous things like Lala). She says she keeps it to a two drink minimum. Really? They must be pretty strong drinks. Or twenty ounce drinks. Lala rags on her co-workers, and Lisa says she has a tender heart, but a tough exterior, which makes perfect sense. Not.

Carter and Kristen are having dinner at their apartment. Kristen wants to invite some people over after the World Dog thing. Kristen is annoyed about the rumor that Jax is spreading. She says she and Brittany had a few wasted kisses, but she really doesn’t remember anything. 100% though, she didn’t do that.

The rumor about Kristen and Brittany is flying around everywhere. Even the cooks at SUR are discussing it. It’s like that part in Bye, Bye Birdie when everyone gets on the phone to talk about Hugo and Kim going steady. Scheana tells Lisa that it’s not right that Brittany is only there a couple of weeks and now everyone is giving her the side-eye. Lisa agrees that it’s really not fair. Brittany approaches Jax. She’s angry that he started this, and he tells her to get over it. She says it’s upsetting and he says he didn’t mean to hurt her feelings. In the interview, she says she knows he likes to make up things, but to do it to her is the worst. Jax says she’s making it more than it is, and she tells him she’s done, but I’m not sure with what.

Lisa asks Brittany if she’s okay. She says she knows what happened, and Brittany says she feels like he’s tarnishing her name. She tells Lisa what he said isn’t what happened. In her interview, Lisa says she doesn’t regret hiring Brittany, but she sometimes regrets not firing Jax. Brittany starts to cry, and Lisa tells her to stay strong. Chin up and all that.

In the morning, Scheana asks Brittany if she’s going to kick Jax’s ass. Hey, there’s Shay! Brittany goes home and loves on the dog. Jax is still in bed and tells her he’s sleeping. He says she’s the one who’s keeping the story going, and she says it’s about her. She tells him that he exaggerated hugely, and she doesn’t understand why he’d talk about her this way. He gets loud and says everyone is wrong. She asks why he said it, and he says because it happened. She says it didn’t happen, and if he’s sorry, he needs to act like it. Ditch that guy already, Brittany. You have a job. Two jobs. You don’t need him as a third.

Katie explains how she’s going to do a bridesmaids reveal to Schwartz. She tells him about how much the photographer costs, and he thinks maybe she should keep him in the dark. In her interview, she says she usually likes that he’s a cheapskate, but not this time. Their venue is called the 20 Miles House. She says it’s going to be everything and more. I tend to agree. It’s a huge old house out in the middle of a beautiful nowhere. The whole thing will be about 18K and they require a 5K deposit. August 17 is the date – it’s a Wednesday and cheaper. When that deed is done, Schwartz tells her that they should probably get a prenup. He says it’s like health insurance, you hope you won’t need it, but it’s a precautionary measure. Katie says unless he’s sitting on a trust fund she doesn’t know about, all he has are massive amounts of sweat pants and action figures. She agrees and he gets turned on by her sensibility.

James meditates on the balcony of his apartment. There’s a knock at the door and he skates over. It’s Lala. He shows her around his new place. He has a roommate, who’s renting him some space in his penthouse. He’s released both Pump Sessions and the single he did with Lala, and also released a video. He says if he stays focused, his dreams can take off. Lala tells him to stay on track and not let people throw him off.

World Dog Day is here! Katie has donation buckets and raffle tickets for the group to take around. Brittany says it’s going to be hard to get through the day with Jax. She feels like whenever she talks to someone, they’re thinking about what he told everyone. Lisa arrives and marvels at all the fabulous dogs. One of the managers tells Lisa about James being stupid at PUMP, and how some guy put him in a headlock. James is telling Tom his version of what happened, and says people attack him because they’re jealous. Okay. In her interview, Lisa says if James is at fault, she’s going to let him go. In his interview, James says he’s young and good-looking and people are jealous of him. I believe it if you believe it. He’s half right anyway. I’m not into crossed eyes and a scrawny frame.

James tries to apologize to Katie. She says he acts like an a-hole, apologizes, and then laughs about the person falling for it. He says they have their differences, but he’s trying to say sorry. She says she’s never done anything to him, and he’s a horrible person, adding that he should just mind his own business from now on and she’ll mind hers. He is truly a nasty piece of work. And Katie is far from fat.

The donations pour in. The dogs do an obstacle course. Kyle Richards comes by. Kristen brings Carter. Stassi wonders if there’s alcohol. Lisa says she loves dogs and everyone knows how she feels about bitches, referring to Stassi and Kristen. Lisa confronts James about the incident at PUMP, and James tries to defend himself, acting like everyone is just out to get him and he’s not really an idiot. Doggy yoga starts at two.

Stassi goes over to talk to Lisa, saying she’s going to disarm her with her pups. She has two tiny dogs that are very cute, and one is wearing a tiny hat. Kristen is with her, and Lisa alludes to the rumor, enjoying that she’s making Kristen uncomfortable.

Jax talks to Schwartz about the wedding. Schwartz says he’s excited, and Jax thinks he’s just saying that. Jax talks about the week long argument he’s been having with Britney. She thinks it’s more than just a silly rumor and because he’s betrayed her trust so much, it’s turned into something else.

Lisa makes a speech. She talks about the Yulan Dog Festival, and tells everyone to say no to the dog meat trade and celebrate their furry friends. She feels the event has been a success. Everyone who was invited has shown up and then some.

Kristen says Brittany is the best thing that’s ever happened to Jax, and he’s ruining it. She tells Jax that he has an awesome girlfriend and he’s messing it up. He acts like he doesn’t know what she’s talking about. She says a drunk kiss isn’t having sex. He says it’s his relationship and his problem. Kristen says he’s pulling a Jax, and to just stop screwing people over that care about him. In his interview, Jax says Kristen wins, but they’ll always know what really happened. Kristen tells him not to hurt Brittany.

Next time, Katie picks her bridesmaids, Schwarz has a dinner and embarrasses Tom, and James gets fired…maybe.

The Real Housewives of the OC – The Reunion Part Two

We’re so bored with this stuff, they show us some behind-the-scenes scenes. Andy shows clips of the moments when the OC ladies got down and dirty in more ways than one. We flash back to some of the funny stuff, like milking the cows and explaining wet dreams to their children. A viewer asks if Vicki got her nipples fixed yet, but she isn’t saying.

Andy talks about new beginnings for Shannon. We flash back to the vow renewal and the move. This is counteracted by scenes from the party where David’s mother talked trash about Shannon. A viewer asks if the vow renewal changed things for her. Shannon says David’s emotion was heart warming. Shannon disagrees with any comparison to Vicki and Don. Vicki says Don thought their vow renewal was good for TV, while she thought differently. Shannon starts getting loud, and Vicki says in retrospect, she wouldn’t have put it on the show.

Andy asks if Shannon and David made a sex tape on their second honeymoon, and I tell him thanks a lot for that visual. He then goes around the room with the question. He asks Shannon if she thinks what her MIL did at the party was premeditated. She says yes, and hasn’t spoken to her since. Andy pretends that Grandma Donna is coming out, but everyone is used to his fake-outs now.

A viewer says that it was classic Tamra sh*t stirring for her to tell Shannon what Donna was saying. Tamra says she didn’t know Shannon was going to react that way. Heather speaks for her, saying Tamra wouldn’t have done it if she’d known how Shannon was going to react. Andy questions Vicki about how she said she felt sorry for David, and Vicki says you never forget about an affair, and always question what you lacked because it happened. Tamra says she would never be able to get over it. Well, look out, because Eddie is pretty good-looking and you can be a real shrew.

Shannon says she’s not the reason David had an affair, he is. She says they weren’t happy at the time, but there were other things going on in his life. Andy asks about the other woman and Shannon says she renewed her football tickets in front of them (they sit ten rows apart), but other than the one altercation in the beginning, there’s been no contact. Andy asks how things re going now, and Shannon says great; their marriage is solid.

Andy brings up how often Shannon says “are you kidding me?” Each woman’s over-used phrase or word is presented: for Heather, it’s by the way; Kelly, of course; Tamra, God/Jesus; Vicki, whoop it up; and Meghan, sperm. We see clips of them all saying these things a thousand times.

We move on to Heather calling Terry out on being an absentee father. We see clips of their vacation, Terry working too much, Heather discussing it with him, and ending with Terry saying he’s going to be a better dad. A viewer asks how much the new house cost. Heather says numbers aren’t relevant. When she won’t tell them, Andy asks Kelly, who says twenty million plus. A viewer asks if Heather’s life is so perfect that she really doesn’t have problems. She says right now it’s good, but it’s ridiculous to think there are never any problems.

Briana joins us straight from the night shift at the hospital. She and Vicki talk about how great their relationship is now that Brooks is gone. Briana says it’s good to be back in the OC. We flash back to Vicki getting her the hell out of Oklahoma, followed by clips of Vicki leading the single life for two minutes, and then meeting Steve. They’ve been dating for seven months now. She says her love tank is over-filled, and Briana thinks he’s amazing. He’s never seen the show, and Vicki says one of the qualities she wanted in a man was that he didn’t know her from TV. For whatever reason, when Steve sent Vicki flowers, Heather thought Vikci had sent the flowers to herself, writing about it in her blog. Vicki tells Heather that she took some of the pleasure out of it and Heather rolls her eyes, because when she does something nasty, it’s okay. Andy asks Tamra what she thinks of him, like this matters. A viewer asks why Vicki needs a man to be happy. She claims she doesn’t and is cool being alone, but Briana is like, no, and the rest of us agree.

We move on to Briana’s medical issues. She says while she was getting tests, she found out she had Lupus. A viewer asks if Vicki bribed Briana with the house. Briana jokes that it was a good bribe, but no. She says that just because her mother helps her, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t work hard, and people don’t realize that. Shannon gets called on the carpet for saying that Vicki bribed her, and she apologizes, because it’s sincere when it comes from her.

Since we can’t get away from it, they talk about Brooks some more. Apparently, there’s been some problems regarding integrity and the cancer charity Vicki was involved with, and the website has been taken down. Everyone puts in their two cents, and it actually doesn’t sound like Vicki did anything wrong, and there was some kind of opt-in if you wanted emails about insurance. They were also giving out some kind of bracelets and I laugh when Heather demands to know if people can get a bracelet without putting in their information. No, Heather, they just guess at what address they should send the bracelet. When Vicki points this out, more nicely than I just did, Heather isn’t sure how to react because she’s so obviously acting like a moron.

Before an argument can start, Andy thanks Briana for coming. Tamra follows her out. Tamra tries to talk to Briana about Kelly, saying Vicki traded Brooks for Kelly. Briana says Vicki needs someone in her corner. For the love of Jesus that you claim to follow, Tamra, leave this sick woman who just got off a double-shift alone. On stage, Kelly and Vicki sweat not to abandon one another.

We see some of Kelly’s malapropisms. We move on to her shock and offense tour, and see clips of her being incredibly nasty. We see the mess in Ireland with Tamra, and I wonder what I’d do if someone insulted how I mother my dogs. Probably not what Tamra did. Heather says that Kelly’s M.O. is behave badly, apologize, and say I’m not really like that. Kelly says there’s no shame in her game. Really. She says that. She needs to read more. She says at the time, she felt sorry, but not anymore. A viewer asks if Kelly has a drinking problem because all of the altercations involve alcohol. Kelly claims she doesn’t have a drinking problem. She says she went to court mandated AA classes after she hit her ex-husband to stop him from fighting. I literally LOL.

Kelly brings up Heather saying she’s not filming unless they get rid of Kelly. We flash back to the sushi dinner. Heather says she was horrified, but Kelly tells her that she’s not the boss. Kelly thinks they should call her “bossy pants” instead of “fancy pants.” Heather says the last time she’d seen her BIL alive was at that restaurant, so she had bad memories of it to begin with. She doesn’t elaborate on this, so I wonder, did they have an argument? Did he choke on a fish bone? What happened?  She says the place literally has paper thin walls, and it was her visceral reaction. We see a clip of her saying that she doesn’t care if they fire her, she’s taking off her mic and she’s done. Kelly points out the others who throw around the f-bomb. She does have a point. It’s funny though, how we all react badly to that one word.

Andy asks Kelly if she stands behind her behavior. She says they were in a private room and doesn’t seem to grasp how thin the walls were. Andy asks why she apologized at the time. She says how she was treated later changed her viewpoint about them. Kelly is asked if her daughter sees the show, but she says no. Andy asks Meghan what she thinks. She’s been pretty quiet for the most part, probably contemplating childbirth. She says that Kelly gets defensive, and when she gets defensive she plays dirty. Kelly says she didn’t know there were rules, which makes me laugh, but the rules are called common courtesy and she does get nasty when she drinks. Heather talks over Meghan and Kelly, telling Kelly about her pattern again. Kelly tells Heather that her pattern is interrupting her and interloping.

The Ireland insult to Tamra is brought up. Heather says that when she criticized Kelly’s parenting on the bus, Kelly got upset. Kelly says Heather didn’t apologize. Heather says she is now. Heather says the difference between them is she learns from her mistakes, and it won’t happen again. Kelly says she apologizes for saying what she did about Tamra’s daughter. A viewer brings up how many times Tamra has said similar things to other cast members and we see flashbacks. Tamra says none of those things were okay for her to have said, and she was hurt by Kelly’s remark. They go over Tamra pushing Kelly in the store since we didn’t see it. Everyone talks at once and Andy tells them to stop it.

A viewer says Kelly has an anger issue, but doesn’t Tamra have one too? Tamra says she’s a bad drunk. Kelly says apologies are flying. Vicki thinks everyone should just move on. Kelly says if she hadn’t had anger management lready, she would have thumped Tamra. I might pay to see that. She says she didn’t and restrained herself.

Andy asks if Vicki is the Buddha of the OC. Shannon says not in her part of town. Andy asks about Kelly being mean and far shaming on social media. Shannon brings up a picture Kelly posted along with the words “keep eating.”

Next time – The Reunion, Part Three – Tamra and Vicki tangle, Tamra calls Vicki and “old woman” (don’t worry, Tamra, you’ll get there), Vicki claims to have proof that David beat Shannon, Shannon walks off stage, and Heather tells Vicki that she should beg Shannon for forgiveness which doesn’t go over too well.

💋 A note about The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Mama Joyce and I have the same ombre sweater. In different colors, but it’s the same. I don’t know how to feel about this.

August 9, 2016 – The DNA Flies on GH & Both the Haves & Nots Conspire

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Nell believes she’s Jocelyn’s donor. Everyone wonders why she just showed up unannounced. She said she was told Carly wanted to meet her.

Sabrrrina has good news. Teddy is going to be released. Sabrrrina is surprised to find that Joe works at the hospital now. In all the Cassadine Island brouhaha, I’d forgotten all about him.

Tracy startles Dillon who was about to take his antibiotics. Dillon suggests she respect his privacy for once. Good luck with that. How about getting your own apartment?

Hayden returns to Windemere. Lulu is there and needs to talk to her about Nicholas.

Jason leaves a message for Sam to call him back. He asks Elizabeth why Sam is in the hospital. She says Sam fainted and was fatigued, but thought it was due to the trip.

Finn says the pregnancy would explain Sam’s nausea and fainting spells. Sam says she had reconstructive surgery a while back, and the doctors didn’t think she could get pregnant again. Finn congratulates her, saying it’s not often he gets to give people such good news.

Sabrrrina says she thought there was a hiring freeze, and Joe tells her that it’s a fellowship and he’s going to be concentrating on his research. She asks why he didn’t tell her and he says he tried, but she’s been ignoring his messages.

Tracy asks if Dillon is sick. He says he’s taking antibiotics as a precaution because a friend has a condition. Tracy asks if he got a condition from someone he’s been spending time with and if that person is Kiki.

Lulu tells Hayden that Nicholas is dead. Hayden is like, I already know that, and Lulu explains what really happened. Hayden realizes Spencer must have known and that’s why he was acting so strangely. Hayden asks if Lulu is sure that Nicholas is really dead now, and she says Ava saw it happen. She says Laura just told Spencer, who is heartbroken. Hayden says he’s not the only one.

Nell says she got an email from Nina who gave her the address. Jax gets super annoyed, but Sonny says what’s done is done and asks Nell why she thinks she might be Jocelyn’s donor. Jax says Carly told him it was over and Nell’s timing doesn’t change that. He asks why Nina would have asked Nell to come, and Carly says Nina is a grown woman with a mind of her own. Nell tells Michael it’s her fault for not calling first. She says that she thought she was doing the right thing and he says she is. She asks why he’s different from the others who are being suspicious. He says she’s the perfect excuse to leave the room and let them duke it out.

Carly, Jax and Sonny join them since there is no escape. Carly says Nina confirmed she didn’t know anything about it. Nell says since that’s the case, she’ll leave, but Carly says no.

Joe says he wanted to make sure Teddy was healthy. He adds that Teddy is the most beautiful baby ever. He says Teddy has Carrrlos’s smile, before he became hard and cynical. I would hope Carrrlos wasn’t hard and cynical as a baby. He says he regrets the choices Carrrlos made and how he might have had a hand in them.

Dillon tells Tracy he might not have anything and if he does, it’s not from Kiki. She asks if he’s been trolling the streets, and he tells her his love life is none of her business. Lulu enters, asking if Tracy has heard from Luke recently.

Hayden looks at the copy of The Great Gatsby that she gave Nicholas. The doorbell rings. It’s Elizabeth to see Laura. Hayden asks if Elizabeth was in on it with Nicholas.

Finn is giving Sam release instructions and Jason shows up. Finn excuses himself and Jason asks Sam if they know what’s wrong with her. She says yes and no.

Sabrrrina asks Joe if he’s trying to win her back. He says that the hospital is good for his research and he wouldn’t have taken the fellowship otherwise. He says he sometimes wonders what would have happened if they’d left Puerto Rico together and pursued their dreams, but he wishes her well in her future with Michael.

Lulu tells Tracy about being held captive by Valentin and how she found the skeleton. She shows Tracy a picture of the bracelet. An obviously distressed Tracy says it looks familiar.

Hayden congratulates Elizabeth on her performance, accusing Hayden of Nicholas’s death when she knew he was alive. Elizabeth says every bad thing in the world is Hayden’s fault.

Nell says that when she read the details in Crimson, she wanted to meet Carly, but she almost had second thoughts when she got there. Carly asks for her story. Nell says her parents took her on a long car ride, telling her she was sick and needed an operation even though she felt fine. She woke up in a hospital, having had surgery. Her parents told her the operation would make her better, but it’s been the opposite; she gets sick easy and has a lot of pain. She says her father had financial difficulties, but after that, things seemed to be okay. Sonny wonders why she would come all this way and what she thinks she would get out of it. Nell says she used to be angry with her parents, but when she read the article, she realized she might have made a difference in someone else’s life, and maybe the bad thing that happened to her was good for someone else. She thought in finding that out, she could move on.

Jason tells Sam about getting into it with Elizabeth about Jake. Sam tells him that he’s burning up. Finn comes in and Sam asks him to take a look at Jason. Finn checks him out and his temperature is high. Finn says he’d like to take some blood and do some tests. Jason objects, but Sam is like, too bad. Cute banter between the three of them.

Tracy says Helena probably planted the bracelet and earring. Lulu says Helena couldn’t have known she was going to be there and if it was a setup, it was an extremely lucky one. Tracy says Luke is probably on a beach somewhere. Lulu wants to check the DNA and asks if there’s something she can have for comparison.

Elisabeth says that Nicholas wanted to get away from Hayden. She says Nicholas saw something in Hayden and married her. She says Nicholas loved her while she was scheming with Tracy. Hayden says she had no choice. Tracy knew she was really Rachel Berlin and was blackmailing her, and then Nicholas tried to have her killed because of a secret he was keeping for Elizabeth.

Michael tells Nell that it took a lot of courage to come there. Nell says Carly is the courageous one. Jax is concerned that Nell isn’t telling the truth. Sonny says it’s difficult to verify the story. Carly suggests they have her tested to see if she’s a match and if she is, go from there. Jax says go where? Even so, it would be no guarantee that Jocelyn was the one who got her kidney. He suggests they give Nell some money for her trouble and send her on her way.

Joe asks Sabrrrina if she has time to kill before Teddy is released. He asks if she wants to join him for dinner in the cafeteria.

Tracy says Lulu is Luke’s DNA, but Lulu says she’s not a match. Tracy says he took all his stuff, but Dillon remembers a baseball cap. Tracy says go get it, but it’s a waste of time as Luke is alive and well. I think so too. If that bracelet has his DNA on it, that’s because he put it there to fool everyone.

Hayden says it all started with Elizabeth. If Elizabeth hadn’t been so desperate to keep Jason’s identity a secret, none of it would have happened. She put Nicholas on the road to his death and should take some of the blame herself. Truth!

Carly thinks they should check Nell out. Sonny agrees. Nell watches from the other room since they have windows bewteen the rooms like an office building. What?

Joe says he’ll have Sabrrrina back by the time Teddy wakes up and he’d also like to see him. Sabrrrina is surprised he wants to be so involved in his nephew’s life.

Michael calls Sabrrrina and leaves a message.

Carly tells Nell she’s grateful and appreciates everything Nell has gone through. She asks if Nell is willing to prove that she’s Jocelyn’s donor.

Lulu takes the cap.Tracy tells her she’s sorry about Nicholas and if she or Laura need anything, to call. Lulu says she’s worried about Laura and ever since the reading of Helena’s will, she’s been on a wild goose chase involving Luke. Tracy tells Dillon when the DNA test comes back, they’ll see she’s right.

Elizabeth tries to brush it off. Hayden says she started a chain reaction that affected everyone in town. Elizabeth says Nicholas loved Hayden, and against all advice, opened his heart to her. She says Hayden had the chance to make a life with him and threw it away. She says she hopes Hayden never stops regretting what might have been.

Finn leaves for the lab and tells Jason to stay put. When he’s in the hallway, Sam asks what Finn thinks is up and he says the symptoms suggest malaria. She asks if it’s treatable and he says yes. Sam says he’s not acting like it’s good news. He says Sam also has to be tested. If Jason tests positive, it’s possible she has it too, and there could be complications with the pregnancy.

Tomorrow, Jax wants Nell to leave, Kiki tells Morgan that she gave ammunition to Ava, and Lucy is caught with Scotty who is wearing a towel.

The Haves and the Have Nots

Candace asks Mitch what the blip he did. Mitch tells her about how he set War up through some family contacts. She tells him that War is crazy and Mitch says his family is too. He says there’s a lot she doesn’t know about them. Candace says she gave War what he wanted and Mitch asks if that included herself. She says she has it handled and to stay out of it. He says War won’t bother her anymore and she says he doesn’t have to be on the streets to get her. Mitch says not if he’s around, and she tells him to knock it off.

They see Oscar, and Mitch asks who he is. Candace tells him to let her handle it and Mitch leaves. Erika asks what was up with Mitch and Candace tells her Mitch screwed her over big time by setting up War. Erika says Mitch still has the hots for her and what are they doing about Oscar. Candace says just watch and follow him for now. She needs to find out where the money is and pay the mortgage before Benny finds out. She says she has to watch her back now because of Mitch.

War tries to get Jim’s attention, but Jim remains silent. David comes in and Jim asks why he’s smiling. David tells him Wyatt isn’t dead and was just unconscious. Jim asks the question on all of our minds – why didn’t anyone call an ambulance – and says he knows a good lawyer. Ha-ha! Jim is all happy for the moment.

Hannah is with the still unconscious Wyatt. She tells the nurse she’s waiting for a call. The phone rings. It’s Kathryn asking if there are any changes. Hannah tells her the meds are going to be reduced. Kathryn thanks her. Hannah asks if she’s sure she doesn’t want to come to the hospital, but Kathryn says she can’t bear to see him like that. Hannah he looks better than when she first saw him. Kathryn thanks her again, saying she really means it. She says she’s never met anyone like Hannah before and asks if Hannah can come over in the morning to talk about something. Hannah says okay. Kathryn asks her to put the phone to Wyatt’s ear. Kathryn tells Wyatt how much she loves him and that she’s not angry. She just wants him to come home and everything will be all right. She hangs up and starts to cry.

Hannah tells Wyatt to hang in there. Like he’s going anywhere. She sees Jeffrey in the waiting room. He apologizes, saying he doesn’t know what came over him. Hannah tells him he needs to get some help. She says hearing Veronica talk to him like that, all she could do was pray. She asks if he’s ever prayed. He says they never went to church and she says she’s not talking about that, she means talking to God. She gives him her number and says to call her. She adds that whatever kind of hellcat Veronica is, she’s still his mother. He asks if Hannah knows he’s gay. He says a lot of people condemn and judge him in his life and he’s concerned about her being a Christian. She says she’s not the type who goes around judging others. She says it’s a shame the way his mother treats him and the God she knows wouldn’t want anyone treated like that. She says he deserves better. Good of Tyler Perry to address this issue.

Jeffrey asks how Wyatt is. She says he’s better, but not awake. She tells him to go in and see Wyatt. She tells him that his mother is in the hospital somewhere. He asks if she’s okay, but Hannah says she doesn’t know and to be careful. He thanks her and goes in to see Wyatt.

Jeffrey sits on Wyatt’s bed. He tells Wyatt that he’s going to be okay. He asks Wyatt why he did this and tells him that they all love him.

Candace and Erika continue to stake out Oscar, who’s hanging out at the campaign headquarters. They see David go inside with him. Candace says that David had told her he’d send someone after her like a thief in the night. She says David is vulnerable and his wife is one crazy bitch. She asks if Erika has met him. When Erika says no, Candace says she should. Erika tells her it’s like old times and Candace says she wants Erika to get to his heart. She wants Erika to get to him…and his money.

At the hospital, Hannah visits Quincy Jr. He says he’s much better and wants to go home. She says she has to talk to the nurse. The nurse tells her he’s been there three days. Hannah asks if he can go home and the nurse says with the legal guardian, who would be his mother. She says if his mother doesn’t show by tomorrow, he’s being placed in foster care. Hannah asks if she can explain it to him, but the mean nurse says no and won’t even let Hannah say good-by. Idiot. She says she’ll explain that Hannah will be back.

Oscar asks if he should turn Benny’s phones back on. David says no, since Benny has been threatening Jeffrey. Oscar asks him if he’s sure he wants to do “this” and David says you have to treat a punk like a punk. Oscar gives him a gun and David says he’ll hear from him within the hour.

Jeffrey continues to hold vigil in Wyatt’s room. He tells Wyatt he loves him and not to leave him. He leans his head on Wyatt and there’s creepy Veronica watching. She tells Jeffrey that if his head was any lower, he’d be committing a crime. She says Jeffrey put a knife in her chest and could have killed her. He says he doesn’t know what happened. Veronica says he’s protecting his man and Jeffrey says Wyatt isn’t his man. She says she’s glad he knows that and she sees that crazy look in his eye. He says something about there being too many sharp objects in the room and he’s glad she recognizes that.

Veronica says she has to defend herself against some accusations he’s leveled against her and she needs a day of levity, so the engagement party is tomorrow. She tells him to be at dinner tomorrow, or the police will be at Candace’s with a search warrant. She adds that if he ever raises a hand to her again, what Quincy did to him will be a walk in the park compared to his next visitor. She tells him she loves him and she’ll see him tomorrow. He says she doesn’t love him. She says she loves him so much, she’ll do everything she says she will. Love to hate her.

War tells Jim he sees Jim got himself in trouble. Jim says apparently War did too. Jim says he’s been in worse places where the rats had it the best. Jim brings up Amanda and War says sorry. Jim says not as sorry as War is going to be and that kidnapping a judge is a federal offense. War says they’re both looking at the bars from the same side. Jim says he asked for War’s help before Candace extorted $7.4 million from him. War goes ballistic when he realizes Candace lied about how much money she had, saying Candace is dead.

War says Candace lied to him twice. Jim says his heart weeps. He says of course she lied; she thinks she’s smarter than everyone else. War repeats that she’s dead and Jim tells him to do them both a favor and do it.

Candace says she needs more information and they have to watch Oscar for a while. Erika says they have one problem – Grayson and his jealousy. Candace tells Erika to take a cab and she’ll follow Oscar in the car. Erika asks if she’s going to be okay and Candace says all she’s going to do right now is follow him.

Looks like the sandwiches aren’t too bad in jail. Jim gives War his sandwich. War says thanks and Jim asks who taught him manners. War answers that it was his grandmother. He tells a story about having heroin in his backpack and her hiding him from the police in a dumpster when he was six, and almost ending up in a garbage truck. Jim says he’s sorry. War says if he’s sorry for that, he should hear the rest.

Jim says he doesn’t understand how someone like War could choose crime instead of doing something with himself. War says Jim was privileged. Jim says he worked his way to where he is and War says Jim has the advantage of being white. Jim says explain all the guys like David who make it. War asks if this the part where Jim gets him to go straight. Jim says War isn’t six anymore and he needs to learn responsibility.

War says that Candace has the photos from the kidnapping, but he’s going to take care of her. Jim asks if War is the reason why Candace needed the mortgage. War says yes and asks how he knew about it. Jim says he and Kathryn are on the board at the bank and Candace should have remembered that. War says she’s desperate. Jim tells War about how the bank is going to foreclose in two weeks. He suggests they work together. He tells War to take care of their little problem and they can both live happily ever after. War asks if Jim can get him out. Jim asks if War can get the pictures and War says he can. They shake on it. War says if Jim burns him, he’ll throw him to the wolves in there. Jim says if War throws him to the wolves, he’ll come back leading the pack. Both War and I smile. It’s also not lost on me that Lisa Vanderpump‘s Real Housewives tagline is just about the same thing. Throw me to the wolves and I shall return leading the pack. Maybe War watches the Wives too.

David comes to the tow yard. He yells at Benny for threatening Jeffrey. Benny tells him that he’s not with Veronica anymore and to turn the phones back on. David keeps telling him to stay away from Jeffrey and Benny keeps repeating to turn the phones back on. They come to blows and David pulls out the gun. They begin to struggle over it.

Next time, Mitch says the phones will be back on, Candace tells Hannah there’s something she can do for her, and Hannah asks Kathryn if she can get her out of jail.

May 3, 2016 — GH, Mediterranean Hello, Beverly Hills Good-By & Wrong Loving

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Replay of the scene in the park where Jason catches Franco spying on him and Sam.

Hayden goes back to Windemere with Nicholas. He asks her to explain about the diamonds. She says he planted them, if they’re even real. She says he thinks he can tie the diamonds to her father’s money, but he’s wrong. He says he can and he has.

Griff asks Anna if she’s okay. She says she’s been thinking about Duke. Griff says it must be gratifying that Carrrlos is behind bars on the anniversary of Duke’s death. She tells Griff about the eyewitness.

Replay of Alexis finding a dead Hale. She calls out for help. Nathan comes and tells her to call 911. Like you need to tell this to an adult (a lawyer no less) who has just found a dead body.

Julian says it’s done. Nina walks in and tells him this is nowhere near done.

Sam says Franco must have been watching them at the barn and Jason asks what he wants.

Nicholas says there are possessions of Hayden’s parents that are still unaccounted for. Hayden says she has no idea where any of it went. Nicholas says there’s an inventory online and the diamonds are part of a necklace listed there. She says if the diamonds are real, he’s gone to a lot of trouble. Nicholas says the stones are marked and can be traced back, and he’s had the stones examined. He says if she’s not convinced they should call the Feds. She asks him not to.

Sam asks why Franco is stalking them and he says they’re only moderately interesting at best. She tells him about the footprints at the barn. Franco makes up a child’s rhyme, ending with, “I did not stalk you on a lark; I did not stalk you in the park,” and I laugh. Jason asks why he was in the bushes then and tells him he’s not fit to work with kids. Franco pulls his sketch pad out and shows them sketches he’s done in the park and says that’s his hideaway to sketch wildlife. Jason says he’s not going to work with Jake anymore. Franco says sketching helps him work stuff out. Jason acts like a nut, grabs the pad and asks what else he’s got. He sees the picture of Nina.

Nina thinks Julian is talking about the issues with Crimson, but Julian has the feeling she isn’t really talking about the magazine. Nina says he’s right and that she and Franco hit a new low — it’s over. Julian says he’s sorry and if there’s anything he can do, to let him know. She wants to know who he was talking to when she walked in. Like that’s her business.

Anna says Jordan seems to think the witness is credible. She says Paul still has his agenda with Carrrlos and they could use some corroborating evidence.

Hale still has a pulse and Nathan tells Alexis to hurry up.

Anna tells Griff that Alexis is very skillful. She wonders who Alexis was talking to at the bar. Griff says the only person Anna should be concerning herself with is her. She says if she can get justice for Duke (which sounds like an online petition), she can take whatever happens to her. She promised herself that today she was going to celebrate his life and Griff says he’s in.

Sam says the picture is disturbing and Franco says it’s a picture, not Nina’s head in a box. Jason asks if he’s going to hurt Nina. Franco asks why would he would waste his time following them. Sam wants to know why he drew the picture and he says his drawings are his business. He says he would never hurt Nina, not the way they’re talking about anyway. Seriously, this picture isn’t all that radical and these two are way overreacting.

Ignoring her question, Julian says he owes Nina an apology for his last outburst and she says she was out of line a little. Julian says talking about Franco might help. She says it’s over, but she’s not writing him off as a monster. She says he’s misguided, but she loves him. She says they just wanted different things and maybe she never new the real Franco. She tells him he’s lucky that he an Alexis don’t have that problem. D’oh!

Hale gets taken to the hospital. Nathan tells them to let him know when Hale regains consciousness. Alexis says she assumes it was an OD, but Nathan says that’s to be determined. Nathan says he has to call the station, and tells Alexis to get some coffee and calm herself. She texts Julian to meet her at the ER.

Julian gets the text and tells Nina he has to go.

Nathan asks Alexis some questions. She says she met Hale once before and Nathan asks about the circumstances.

Hayden says maybe the diamonds are a problem, but where does that leave them? Nicholas says they’re at a detente. She suggests they call it a draw and go their separate ways. Nicholas says he needs her to sign a document surrendering the rights to the $5 million from the prenup.

Anna and Griff have tea. She tells Griff how she and Duke met and tells the story of their first dance before she even knew his name. She says they connected and always had up until he died. Griff asks if their first dance was the tango, but she says that came later. She says dancing with Duke was like floating on air. Griff says he should warn her that he has two left feet and asks if she would teach him to tango as an homage to Duke.

Franco starts to leave. Sam asks if he’s going to explain the sketch. He says no. Sam says a woman has the right to know if their boyfriend is making creepy sketches. Puh-leeze. He says they had a fight, he’s pissed and he drew a picture. He leaves and Jason makes more of it than anyone ever should. Jason says he doesn’t want Franco around Jake. Normally, I like these two, but they are really annoying me today.

Alexis tells Nathan that Hale is a potential witness in a case she’s working on and that she found him just like he was. Julian shows up at the hospital. She tells him she found the eyewitness with a needle in his arm. They hear Nathan asking if he can question Hale.

Hayden says Nicholas won’t even miss the five million, but he says he’s not going to give her five cents. She says she almost died when he had her shot and she deserves something. She refuses to sign and says go ahead and call the agent. If he does, she’s going to tell about the shooting and Spencer can grow up seeing him behind bars. She says it’s better Spencer knows now who his father really is, rather than grow up deluded and find out later. I’m guessing she’s also talking about her own father.

Anna tries to teach Griff to tango. For having two left feet, he does pretty well, since that’s not an easy dance. Afterwards, he says they should go out to dinner and they can schedule his next dance lesson. She says it will give him an in with the ladies and he almost chokes on his tea, spilling it on his shirt. They leave so he can change before they go out.

Franco shows up at Nina’s office. She says she doesn’t think they need to say anything else. He agrees, but tells her about Sam and Jason seeing the sketch. He says if they told her about it, they’d give her the wrong idea and he wants her to see it.

Hale is dead. Nathan asks if the body can be examined. Julian says clearly it’s an overdose (like he was there), but Nathan says they can’t be sure until they assess the body. He says when he gets back, he’ll have to know what case of Alexis’s Hale was involved with. Ha-ha! Julian must be nervous AF.

Alexis tells Julian that Hale was the witness against Carrrlos. Sam and Jason come in and Julian explains that Alexis found a junkie that had overdosed. Alexis adds that it wasn’t just any junkie.

Anna and Griff go to the hospital where Griff apparently keeps his clothing. While he changes, Anna calls Jordan and leaves a message asking her to meet tomorrow.

Nicholas suggests they table things for now. Hayden says they should both back off, at least until tomorrow. She says she guesses they’ll just stay married and he says for now. She says since she’s still his wife, she’s entitled to certain rights and privileges. He says, “As you wish, my princess,” and starts taking off his clothes.

Nina asks if it’s a threat and Franco tells her Sam and Jason thought the same thing. He says it’s not a threat, it’s just how he sees their relationship right now. She says she doesn’t see anything that horrible. Franco says he had high hopes and she says she did too. He says he thought it was forever and it’s over. When he had that realization, he drew what he was feeling. He says he sees them as broken and twisted and it can’t be fixed.

Nathan wants the car dusted for prints. He says he’ll be back to finish with Alexis’s statement. Jason asks who the guy was and Julian stalls. Alexis tells them that Hale was the witness against Carrrlos and Anna overhears.

Hayden tells Nicholas to stop and says she was talking about money. He says they each have control over their earnings, but oh that’s right, she doesn’t have any since the Quartermaines left her out in the cold. She asks if she’s a prisoner there. He says if she chooses to stay, he can give her an allowance, and that the days of his indulging her every need are over because he doesn’t love her anymore. He says the diamonds changed everything and her past is catching up to her. I’m confused. Where did he find these diamonds, since she wasn’t living there anymore?

He leaves and Hayden says, “No, my prince. It’s not over.” I love that prince/princess stuff.

Franco says he still wants what they had and that Nina is amazing. He says she’s an unforgettable woman and he wishes her every happiness. Nina says what about him and he says he doesn’t think happiness is in the cards for him, but it’s okay. He says he realizes he should just be him — the kind of guy who wold draw a picture like that. Seriously, the picture wasn’t all that bad.

Nathan walks in on Griff, who is looking at the scar on his body. Didn’t Maxie say it was a gunshot wound?

Anna says Alexis was badgering Hale earlier and now he’s dead. She asks why the both of them are there and Alexis says she found Hale. Anna says Alexis does everything to protect Julian and now she’s killed for him.

Tomorrow, Nathan says he knows how Griff got his scar (hmm…did Nathan shoot him? and does this have something to do with Claudette?), Alexis pleads innocence, and Jason tells Franco that he’s not getting inside Jake’s head.

Below Deck: Mediterranean

A bunch of new names to learn. Except for Chef Ben who was also on most of the Caribbean seasons.

Chef Ben is excited to be on the water in Greece, since it’s similar to where he trained in Italy. Hannah, the chief stew, says it’s unusual to be meeting an entirely new crew and taking on guests the same day. The boat itself, the Ionian Princess, is decorated very gaudily. Julia, stew #2, says she’s speechless. Me too. The fixtures are…well….

Captain Mark asks first mate Bryan to be his go-to guy, especially since there’s a bit of a language barrier. Tiffany is the 3rd stew and there are deckhands Bobby, Danny, Jen and Miko.

Ben thinks Captain Mark is odd, but says all captains are odd. Everyone is putting away supplies. They all seem down to help, and this looks like a hard-working bunch, which wasn’t always the case in the Caribbean.

The deckhands and stews have meetings where they talk about their yachting backgrounds and skills. Tiffany aspires to be a captain. Hannah doesn’t seem to understand why Tiffany would take a position she doesn’t want, which wasn’t exactly what she said, and I already see that Hannah is going to be a pita.

Jen and Julia talk relationships and Jen reveals she’s gay. She thinks Hannah is hot, but just wait. I’ll bet by the end of the season she won’t be able to stand the sight of her. Cleaning commences. Hannah says she’s a high school drop-out who was told she wouldn’t amount to anything, so I see now she’s an overachieving perfectionist who will want everyone else to be perfect too.

Christine is the primary guest, along with her husband, Bob. The captain goes through the preference sheets. Christine has a natural skincare line and Ben is supposed to incorporate the flavors of the ingredients into the food somewhere. Hannah thinks she has good chemistry with Ben and since they’re both from Australia, that’s probably part of it.

The crew changes into their formalwear to greet the guests. Ben says it’s insane to have done all this and have guests within 24-hours, but it’s okay because he’s insane. Ha-ha! I like Ben

The guests arrive. Christine has a high-pitched voice and is annoying me already. Hannah shows the guests around the yacht. Christine says she likes the marble in the master bath and I have to say it is beautiful and probably the only good thing about the decor in there. I can’t deal with the gold swan faucets.

Jen and Tiffany do laundry, longing to be outside, and the deckhands do deckhand stuff while they talk about women. One of them says he’s worked on some boats with heifers and it sucks. I cringe. BTW, he’s not all that. Ben talks to Christine about the food. He likes challenging the guests’ palates by trying new things and hopes this group is up for it.

They drop anchor somewhere in the Greek Islands. Christine shows off her fitness on deck, while some of the guys go swimming. It’s time for cocktails, which I think is really all the time on a yacht. The guests want to have a football game streamed in. Hannah is messing with the TV and says that guests don’t understand that they can’t exactly get cable in the middle of the Mediterranean.

When it doesn’t seem to be working well with the TV, Bob tells Hannah that it’s one of the non-negotiables. She knows that means if it doesn’t happen, their tip goes down. Ugh! Dude, you are out on the water in the middle of nowhere, not home on your couch. First idiocy of the first episode of the first season. Well, except for that heifer comment.

This place is just beautiful. Ben is going to make moussaka for dinner. The captain and several deckhands get in on the TV issue. Jen is the most experienced deckhand, but says she sees already that she’s not favored because she’s a female. No surprise, since Bryan has never worked with a woman before.

Dinner is served. Ben looks like he’s wearing pajamas, but I guess it’s a chef’s jacket. He has to flambe the cheese appetizer and timing is everything. It looks really tasty. Really tasty. The moussaka is next. Hannah doesn’t explain it very well to the guests though. Everyone complains that it’s too heavy. Ben says he likes to eat lean as well, but he wants moussaka in Greece. I’d like some right now. He seems to think part of the problem was Hannah’s description of the dish. Hannah thinks Ben has issues with being wrong.

Ben says you can always make amends and goes up to explain dessert. He’s incorporated the skincare flavors of green tea, coconut and something else I’ve already forgotten. Glad it’s not lanolin or microbeads.

Jen is late getting up and seems resentful that she has to be on deck early. I thought she said she was the most experienced and wanted to be noticed? Hannah says it doesn’t look like they can stream the game, so she’s going into town to see if they can make it happen there. Cranky Bob is starving and Ben makes frittatas for breakfast. They’re heavenly from the reaction of the guests. Julia thinks Hannah is getting stressed. She says doing acrobatics has taught her how to hide stress, but I fail to see the connection. I’d definitely be stressed doing acrobatics and would not be able to hide it.

Bryan asks Jen if she was up when she was supposed to be. She says just a few minutes after and Bryan tells her six means six and don’t let it happen again. Danny tells Jen he didn’t say anything, but Jen doesn’t believe him. (He didn’t.) She doesn’t know how he gets through life without lying. Remind me to never take her on as a friend.

Bob is bitching that he’s never missed a Steeler’s game. Well, if it was so important, why didn’t you plan your vacation around it? Hannah is going nuts trying to find a place where he can watch it, so her crew members aren’t penalized.

This season, Hula hooping, birthdays on the water, twerking, hair extensions, inappropriate romance, and someone gets sent home. Below Deck: The Original will also be back this fall.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills — The Reunion, Part Three

Eileen was offended by Lisa’s blog where she spoke about an abusive relationship, when LVP didn’t want to be open with them on camera. Andy asks if LVP was hurt by the guy, and she says twice and she left. She starts crying and says she hasn’t cried about it since then and had only even mentioned it to Ken once. Andy says he’s surprised she never shared it. Yolanda says that’s what they want to see, those deep emotions. Eileen says that’s how people bond on a deeper level. Here’s a clue, maybe she doesn’t want to relive the moment and rehash it with her friends.

Kathryn says she has shared things like that with LVP, but that she comes off as detached when she’s around the group. LVP brings up the Yulan dogs. Eileen says she has more empathy for animals than she does for the group. So do I. LVP is like, thanks, that’s not the first time you’ve been nasty. Eileen covers by playing the honest card. LVP says she was hurt and Eileen doesn’t think it was nasty, but apologizes. Andy points out that Eileen apologized immediately, and asks LVP if she has a hard time with apologies. She says she must if everyone thinks so.

Eileen says she hated being a bitch this season and resents that she was turned into one because of this whole mess. They talk about Kathryn passing along what Erika said about LVP being manipulative. I don’t think Kathryn should have repeated it, but hey, how about not talking about people behind their back? Discussion of Erika using the c-word commences. Bleh. I don’t like it and I think it’s rude to use it in front of someone who finds it offensive, just like I would any other word. We go back to Kathryn repeating what Erika said. Erika says it wasn’t smack, it was her opinion. The word “opinion” is used the same way the word “honest” is used with these women, as an excuse to be nasty. Maybe her opinion is smack. Erika talks about when Kathryn acted stupid at her dinner party. Erika says Kathryn called LVP a “harmless old lady” when they spoke on the phone. Is this really necessary?

Kathryn says she never said that. Kathryn says Erika is desperate and Erika says, no, you. Kathryn says Erika gossiped about everyone except Yolanda every night in Dubai. LVP interjects that Kathryn only repeated a little of what Erika had said. Andy wants a show of hands as to who thinks Kathryn was wrong in what she did. Can we move on? Yolanda talks about that moron Brandi saying LVP is manipulative. Andy mentions Tom comparing LVP to an alligator and how LVP thought it was funny. She says it was the delivery and he was sparring with her.

Erika says LVP is tough and LVP says not as tough as people think. Kathryn says she’s never heard LVP say a bad word about anyone. Erika says although they got off to a bad start, she and Kathryn are cool now.

They show a video of Brandi who says it’s amazing to be a viewer, which is what you say when they fire you. She says a bunch of nasty stuff about LVP and Lisa wants to know why Brandi is being given a platform when she’s not on the show and they can’t reply. Yeah, me too. Nasty &)@%$!) bitch. She says LVP was a puppeteer and manipulated her. I don’t believe that for a second. I seriously doubt Brandi can be manipulated.

LVP is like why, Andy? Yolanda says it’s fair, since Kim got to come on the reunion, that Brandi should have her say. Hello? It’s a little different when you can’t respond. LVP says Brandi is ridiculous, which is an understatement, and a lot cleaner than what I’d say. Brandi is an attention seeker who can’t seem to get any on her own.

We go down Memory Lane from the little horse to Dubai. They talk about the Dubai trip. The suite LVP and Kyle was forty grand a night. Eileen tells a funny story about the aquarium in her room and how she was told no one could see in. She was in her bathrobe when the diver who cleans it came by and turned around to see him making an okay sign, and they show a pic.

No! No! No! We’re back at Munchhausen’s. I never ever want to hear that word again. They talk about LVP and Kyle’s friendship. Andy says Kyle seemed to want to do whatever it takes to keep the friendship going. Kyle says she loves Lisa and knows she feels the same and would always have her back. They talk about some of Yolanda’s Instagrams being funny. Yolanda gets insulted, but they show one that totally is, with her inside some device that looks like she’s in a toaster.

We see Ken telling LVP that LisaR is a wanker and stupid bitch. Both Eileen and LisaR say they’re appalled that a man would talk like that about a woman and would be offended if either of their husbands did that. Really? You mean to tell me that in a private conversation if your husband jumped to your defense that way, you’d be pissed at him? Highly, highly doubtful. And I also doubt it’s never happened. It’s sad that I’ve come to think these two are a bit delusional. I also love how Ken always stands up for his wife. I think it’s commendable.

LVP says that’s the way Ken felt and he was pissed off. She should have said he was being honest and giving his opinion. Yolanda brings up when Ken called her stupid and we flash back. Giggy! OMG we’re back to Munchhausen and LVP manipulating LisaR. I can’t take it. Andy asks if LisaR is easily manipulated. She doesn’t know. She says no one can figure out if she’s a people-pleaser or bipolar. Then we go back to you-know-what and who said what first. If I was at this reunion, I’d refuse to participate in this topic any more.

Andy moves on to….no, we’re not moving on. LisaR wants her moment and talks about LVP telling her to drag Kyle into it. What this actually sounds like — and I oughtta know after listening to this crap for months — is that both LVP and LisaR say that LVP said the same thing, but the inflection is different, which makes a difference in the meaning. For example: You can never put too much water in a nuclear reactor. I can say it one way where you’d think you can put in as much as you like, and another way where it’s a warning not to. I see what’s happening here.

I can’t write Munchhausen again, so I’ll just wait until we change topics. If ever.

Kathryn and Yolanda zone out and Erika plays with her hair.

Andy asks who Yolanda believes. Eileen wins. Kyle says it seems like they’re trying to make a problem between her and LVP. This makes sense, since Brandi kind of did the same thing. Someone tweets that Kyle has Stockholm Syndrome. Kyle says no one is an angel there and this is being made into a bigger deal than it is.

We flash back to various times where LVP was called manipulative. Andy asks if LVP wants to apologize to anyone and she says no. Andy says she and LisaR have known each other for 25 years, which surprises me because I didn’t know that. Was I not paying attention when LisaR joined the show? Maybe. Anyway, he asks if they can repair the friendship and LVP says she doesn’t know because LisaR seems so angry. She is a freaking firecracker. I might like to hang out with her occasionally, but I don’t think we could be good friends. LisaR says she’s hurt and disappointed, but doesn’t want to hold a grudge.

This sort of threw some confusion in for me. If they’ve known each other that long, has this “manipulation” been going on all this time and the light bulb just came on? Or did it just happen out of the blue?

Andy says they did it all with class and dignity…mostly.

They talk about what they got out of the season. Kyle says knowing about Lyme disease, which I totally agree with. I didn’t know it was so mystifying and debilitating. Yolanda just wants to get well. LisaR really has nothing to say. Eileen says there’s no contest that the Housewives win over soaps in the drama department. Kathryn says it was everything she expected and Erika agrees. Erika never saw the show before and says she jumped in and found out a lot of things the hard way.

LVP says she’s sorry people thought she was manipulative and regrets not understanding Yolanda’s illenss better and that she wasn’t as supportive as she should have been.

They each say the best quality of the person to their right. And it’s all nice for once.

Note: On Watch What Happens Live (with LisaR and Chef Ben as guests), Andy retired the word I hate. There was a count, and the number of times it was said this season was 80, but I would swear on a Bible that it was more than that.

If Loving You Is Wrong

When we last left, Julius was smothering his father. Success! All the doctors finally hear the monitor and come running in. I guess no one thinks it’s weird that Julius puts the pillow down as they go running toward the old man. He still has a pulse.

Lushion comes to the hospital to see Pete and Oliver asks why. He says he just wants to see how he is and Oliver says there’s a camera in the room. Lushion is like, okay, but I guess Oliver doesn’t know where Lushion is at. He gets to the room and tells Ben he’s staying the night, so he can go home. Ben says he doesn’t think it’s a good idea, and Lushion says yeah, they shouldn’t go against the captain’s orders, but they’re both staying. He asks how Ben’s hand is. Ben says good. Lushion says that’s good. Everything is good.

Lusion goes into Pete’s room. He wishes Pete had told him what was on the disk. He swears to get revenge for all the rookies on the wall. He sheds a few tears and says he’s going to get who did this. All of them.

When is Ramses going to be in the opening montage?

Crazy Eddie approaches Ben who tells him Lushion is there. Eddie says Lushion can’t stay with Pete every night and Ben asks what he should do. Eddie tells him stop asking stupid questions and smacks him. He says if he asks it again, he’ll shoot Ben’s other hand off and tells him to do nothing.

Lushion calls Natalie who says she can’t find the disk. She just pulled up to Alex’s house, but she doesn’t want to wake everybody. She wants to wait until tomorrow. He finally says okay, but I don’t understand why she doesn’t realize how important this is. She says no, she’ll do it, but he tells her no and he’ll call her early. Lushion swears to Pete he’ll find the disk.

Marcie wakes Brad. She tells him he was calling Alex’s name in his sleep, but he doesn’t believe it. She thinks he should go home. She says he’s drinking himself to sleep and crying in his sleep and he’s going home. She wants him to just talk to her because they’re not done. She says he’d better be gone or tell her they talked when she gets back.

Kelly tells Natalie she’ll get the house process started asap. Natalie asks the kids if they took the disk out of the kitchen. They all say no. Natalie is wearing some huge hoop earrings and they remind me of the time my boss said he was going to bring a basketball into the office to see if he could get it through my earrings.

Natalie and Esperanza leave for work and the kids get on the bus. Louise asks if she can talk to Kelly. Kelly says she doesn’t want to get involved. Louise says she knows she can help Alex. She says the whole thing is her son’s fault and she wants the opportunity to try and fix it. Kelly says she’ll talk to Alex, but the answer is going to be no. Louise says she’ll take her chances.

Kelly asks Alex how she slept and Alex tells her the three hours was decent. Kelly tells her Randal’s mother wants to talk to her because she thinks she can help, and maybe she should. Alex says Randal is trying to take her baby away and one of them will die first. Kelly says just give Louise a chance; she’ll stay right there. Alex still says no. Kelly says she still thinks it’s a good idea and Alex says bring her in. BTW, Kelly is wearing an amazing pink and orange retro-colored dress.

Louise thanks Alex and says she knows it’s difficult. She apologizes about Randal and says she thinks he’s losing his mind. She says he’s unpredictable and vindictive. She says maybe he was always that way and she didn’t see it. She tells Alex what he’s done to her and her family is awful.

Louise remembers something from the past where Randal was enraged over a girl’s perceived cheating. She says he finally calmed down enough to hear her and she’s still there waiting for the calm to come, but it hasn’t. She thinks there might be one thing they can do. She asks Alex is the baby is really Randal’s since she hasn’t seen him. Alex tells Kelly she’s not going to answer just so Louise can take the baby away.

Louise wants to see the baby, but Alex is afraid Randal sent her. Louise assures her Randal doesn’t even know she’s there. Kelly tells Alex it’s okay and Alex shows her the baby. He’s very tiny and cute. She says he looks just like Randal did. She asks what his name is and Alex says Brad. Thank God. I thought we were going through the whole season with this poor kid not having a name.

Louise takes Alex’s hand. She says Randal has always wanted to have a son and if he can’t see him, he’ll continue to rage out of control. She thinks if Randal can see his son, the custody thing will blow over. Alex is like, no way, and Louise says he’ll continue if he doesn’t. Alex says then she’ll play the only card she has. Louise says that he loves her and Alex says she doesn’t care. Louise says he likes conflict and if Alex gives him peace, he’ll do the same.

Alex asks if she’s done and Louise says if Alex wants her to be. Alex says yes, gripping the baby’s car seat like there’s an earthquake. Louise thanks Kelly for trying and leaves. Kelly starts to leave and Alex says she has an opinion, so what is she thinking. Kelly says Alex doesn’t want to know. She says she thinks if Alex wants to end all the drama, she should let Randal see his child. Kelly leaves for work.

Kelly stops by Ramses’s place on her lunch break to bring the papers for the sale of the house. She asks to come in. Ramses is still unpacking and she says she can help him for an hour. He says he’s good. A girl comes out from another room and says she found whatever, gives him a folder and goes back. Kelly says she has to go and bolts.

Kelly is crying at her desk and her phone keeps ringing. It’s Ramses and she doesn’t answer. Oh, come on, you haven’t even kissed yet and have no idea who that person was, not that he owes you any explanations. Alex calls and says she just sent Randal a text and he’s on his way. She wanted somebody to know and she’ll call when he leaves.

Randal the Insane comes in and asks how Alex is, saying she doesn’t look like she’s had a baby. Alex is stone-faced and tells him see the baby or get out. Randal gets emotional seeing his son. He asks what they’re going to name him and Alex says his name is Bradley. Randal says he wants the baby named after him and Alex says that’s not happening. Alex asks Randal to do her a favor and stop this now, the custody, the name, everything. Randal says he should have some rights. Alex agrees, but says that’s something they need to discuss between them later. He says he wants what’s best for the baby. Alex says she’s what’s best for him. Randal says Brad hates the baby. Alex says they’re getting a divorce and she’d never let any harm come to him. She’d hoped Randal would let her have her way. Randal says the child is his legacy and he can’t have him named after someone whose not his father. He says he’s not dictating how Alex is going to raise him; he wants custody and for the baby to not be around Brad or her father.

Alex says she wanted nothing to do with the baby at first because he reminded her of how he was conceived, in lies and in deceit and in a shed. She says she didn’t want life anymore, but the baby kept looking at her with his beautiful eyes and she knew he was her son and she’d never let anyone harm him. She says if Randal pursues this, he will harm him. Randal repeats he has rights. He says Alex doesn’t have the money to fight him, so let him have custody. She says that’s not happening. Randal says they’ll be right next door. Alex says the baby isn’t a pawn or a tie Randal wants to her and she tells him to let it go.

Randal picks up the baby. Alex tells Randal a story about a mother bear killing some hikers. She tells Randal he’s one of those hikers. She says the hikers had no idea they were in danger until it was over. She tells him his visit is over too, and she wants the baby back. Randal makes a sickening face and says she can have their son…for now. I hate him so much, and I especially hate those crazy faces he makes.

Alex tells him she’s sorry for what’s going to happen to him next. And in the perfect timing he always has, Brad walks in. He says wow and looks pretty grim.

Next time, Randal calls the baby RJ, Kelly tells Travis they’re done, and Julius’s father is still alive.

April 26, 2016 — GH, Temptation Tuesday & BH Deuxième Reunion

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Ric calls Sonny from the police station and says there’s been a development in the Carrrlos case.

Alexis says she shouldn’t have touched the dagger. She tells Julian they’re going to lose everything.

A guy named Hale talks to Jordan. She asks him what information he has about Duke’s murder.

Carly comes into Sonny’s office and asks if he’s almost done with work because it’s time for his birthday dinner. He says he’s waiting for a call from Ric.

Hale jumps up and wants to leave. Jordan says hold on a minute. She asks if he wants her to call a friend for support. Hale says he doesn’t want to involve anyone else and that he saw Duke get shot.

Alexis hands Julian the dagger, telling him to get rid of it, but then she takes it back, saying she’s not ready. She tells him that she and Molly got into a fight about her defending Carrrlos. She says Molly told her she’s compromising her ethics, and Julian asks what she thinks. She waffles.

Ava brings takeout to Franco’s place for her and Kiki. She says circumstances have changed and she’d like Kiki to come home now. Kiki says she doesn’t want to.

Nina literally runs into Dillon and her packages go flying everywhere. Dillon asks her to join him for a drink, but she says she remembers what happened last time and she wants to keep it professional.

At the hospital, Jason starts to choke Franco. Obrecht comes by and says she’ll call security. Franco threatens to tell Jason’s son the truth and Jason starts to choke him again. Sam runs in and says Franco is playing Jason and wants him to react like that. Jason lets Franco go and leaves with Sam. Obrecht asks if what Sam said was true.

Nina asks how much Dillon wants to keep her lapse in judgment from Julian. He says nothing and she thinks he’s going to sue her. He says he’s done way worse and would never hold it against her or judge her and just wants them to be cool. He asks if Franco got angry that they kissed. Nina says she hasn’t told him and he wouldn’t care anyway.

Obrecht says if Jason doesn’t want Franco’s services anymore, that’s the way it goes. Franco says Jake needs him and she says he should have thought about that before goading his father. Franco asks if he’s supposed to just bite the bullet and Obrecht says she does that every day. He says it’s time for him to be the Franco he was born to be. Whatever that means.

Ava asks Kiki if she doesn’t want to come home and Kiki says she is home. Ava says Avery will be home soon, she just has some details to iron out. Kiki says she thinks she needs to stay where she is for multiple reasons. Ava says she has to go and tells Kiki she loves her.

Carly wonders where Jocelyn’s kidney came from if it didn’t come from Jake. Ric interrupts the conversation between her and Sonny.

Alexis gets a call that her motion to dismiss is being ruled on.

Jordan asks Hale to tell her in his own words what he saw and asks why it took him so long to come forward. He says he was using and living on the streets, doing anything to get his next fix. He was breaking into cars at the MetroCourt and heard angry voices, and Julian’s name was mentioned. He says one guy was in a tux and the other guy in street clothes. They struggled over the gun and when it went off, the tuxedo guy had been shot. Jordan shows him Duke’s picture and he says that’s the guy who was shot. She shows him a sheet of pictures and asks if the guy in street clothes is there. He points to Carrrlos.

Sonny asks if he can talk to Ric tomorrow, but Carly says do it now and he has five minutes. Ric tells Sonny about the eyewitness coming forward, adding “happy birthday.”

Jordan calls the judge. Hale asks if she doesn’t believe him and she says she’s just going to verify his story. He says part of his program is making amends and he’s trying to do the right thing. She says she’s just doing her job and goes out into the office. Alexis comes in and Jordan says any charges against Carrrlos aren’t going away because they have an eyewitness. She says Carrrlos is going down and probably Julian with him.

Ava tells Julian what Kiki told her and says she wants to bring Avery home. Julian says the organization understands there’s no benefit in coming after her. She asks why they’d listen to him and he says because he’s in charge now.

Jason and Sam go for a drink. Jason says Franco is manipulating Jake. Sam suggests he talk to Elizabeth, but Jason says Franco nearly caused him to commit murder. He tells Sam about the flash of memory.

Nina tells Dillon that Kiki never leaves the apartment. He thinks she should talk to Franco.

Obrecht tells Franco not to let Jason destroy everything he has. She says he’s done well with his patients and he says not so well with Nina. Obrecht says to keep trying because it’s clear they were meant to be together. He says she’s sweet, but misguided. He gets a text from Nina saying she wants to talk and he projects, saying that means it’s over. Obrecht says if he wants to talk, she’ll be at The Floating Rib.

Ava says what about Julian’s promises to Alexis and his daughters? Julian says his sister was in trouble and he realized the importance of family, so he took the reigns. She asks what Alexis thinks. Julian says she doesn’t know and he’s not telling her.

Alexis says it’s a little odd that a stranger who claims to have seen Duke’s murder should suddenly show up on the day she’s getting the charges dropped.

Ric says they’re a long way from a trial and a guilty verdict isn’t assured. Sonny says an eyewitness is just what they needed, and Ric says hmm…what a coincidence.

Sam says she wants to move forward and hopes Jason can do the same. He asks what Franco had against them and Sam says he was obsessed with Jason.

At the bar, Obrecht tells Nina to make up with Franco. Nina asks if Franco talked to her, but she says it’s obvious they’re not communicating. She tells Nina to put on her big girl pants and make it work. Nina says he’s not answering her texts and Obrecht says leave that to her.

Franco tells Kiki he’s on his way home and he doesn’t want to talk to Nina. There’s a knock at the door. Franco gets a text from Obrecht to meet her and tells Kiki he’s not coming home after all. Kiki answers the door and it’s Dillon. He asks Kiki if she knows how to change a flat tire.

Dillon says it was a long day at work, all he wanted to do is get home and boom! flat tire. Kiki asks what he’s doing on that side of town and he says to get cheap gas. Kiki mentions Maxie’s engagement party and Dillon says it was great. In getting him to say he was there, Kiki knows he wasn’t at work and Dillon admits he came to check on her.

Sam says Franco was jealous of Jason. Jason says he saw the old Franco at the hospital and doesn’t want him near Jake. Franco walks in and then walks back out. Nina sees him and asks Obrecht what’s up with that?

Carly tells Sonny to watch what he delegates to Ric, who’s a snake in the grass. Sonny says with Ric’s help, he’s going to find out where Jocelyn’s kidney came from.

Ava is concerned that Sonny will find out. Julian says he won’t and she’s not to tell anyone. Alexis comes in and Julian says she’s back pretty quick. She says a witness showed up and ID’d Carrrlos. She says it’s not over though, since the whole thing is suspect. Julian tells her Leo is upstairs and Alexis goes to check on him. Ava tells Julian to use the organization’s resources to get rid of Carrrlos.

Kiki asks Dillon who sent him and he says no one. He says he was concerned about her and just stopped by to visit. Kiki says she’s fine. He says since she’s okay, can she help him with his car? He let air out of one of the tires so his story would seem plausible. Enter Nina. Kiki says they’re going out for a while and don’t wait up. Nina asks where Franco is and Kiki says he never came home.

Jason asks Sam if she wants to go on an adventure with his bike on the open road. She says sure, and they leave. Someone is watching.

Jordan gives Hale her card. She says they’ll schedule a formal deposition with the DA. She tells him they’ll make it quick and painless, but it’s good practice if they go to trial. Hale is nervous about that, but she says the odds of it gong to trial are slim and Alexis will probably convince Carrrlos to take the deal.

Julian balks at killing an associate to save himself and Ava says it’s a cruel world. Julian says he’ll figure out another way.

Sonny says he wants to find out the truth for Carly. She thanks him.

Julian makes a phone call telling someone to take care of “it”

Tomorrow, Curtis tells Hayden to take the money and run, someone is stalking Sam and Jason, and Finn isn’t done yet at the hospital.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Joey hears a key in the lock and takes off for the back door with Faun. The door is locked, so she hides in his bedroom. Lushion is at the door and Joey pretends it’s just stuck. Lushion heads for the breadbox, but it’s empty. He tells Joey he’s looking for a brown paper bag with a disk in it.

Lushion calls Natalie, but gets voicemail. He tells Joey he needs help to find it and Joey wonders what a disk looks like. Natalie calls back and tells him to look in the breadbox, but he tells her it’s not there. She says she’ll be right home.

Lushion rifles through the freezer. Natalie comes in and says it was in the breadbox, but maybe one of the kids moved it. She starts opening cupboards and drawers. She asks what’s on the disk and he says don’t worry about it. Natalie asks Joey to help look. She wants to look in his bedroom and he says he already looked. She says it was probably a half-assed look and tells him to go help Lushion while she double checks.

Natalie sees Faun’s shoe sticking out from under the bed and calls Lushion, who draws his gun. Faun pops out and apologizes. Natalie starts to say something to Joey, but Lushion says they really have to find the disk. She tells Faun to get out. Lushion asks Natalie if Pete told her what was on the disk, but she says no. He asks how she could forget about telling him and she says a lot has been going on and gives him a laundry list. He says he has to go back to the station and she says she’ll keep looking. He tells her it’s of the utmost importance. Natalie says she’ll go back to Alex’s and wake the kids and ask them if they know where it is.

Julius goes to Randal’s house. Randal asks how Julius’s dad is. Julius says he’s hanging in there. He asks Randal about Tilda. Julius says she told him he has a sister and asks if that’s true. Randal says he should talk to his father. Julius just wants to know if it’s the truth and Randal says yes, but he never met her. Julius asks who knows her and Randal says her mother.

Outside, Faun tells Joey she told him so. She says she has to go and Joey asks to come along because his mother is going to kill him. She says no. She asks about their relationship, but Joey is evasive. She says she thought they were dating exclusively. He hems and haws and she says she has to go.

Quan approaches Joey who tells him to get lost. Quan says he’s dead and Joey tells him to bring it and whatever. Quan says when Joey is dead, he’s going to “hit that,” meaning Faun. I can’t stand that phrase, but I’m supposed to hate Quan, so it’s working.

Natalie is still shaking everything down, looking for the disk. She asks Joey if he’s trying to get her fired again. He says he and Faun were just watching a movie. Natalie tells him not to bring Faun there again. She asks what it’s going to take for him to listen and says he has one more chance.

Julius visits his father in the hospital. Lawyer Sonny says they just gave him something to sleep and he’s out of it. Julius asks what the doctor said and Sonny says it’s probably a matter of weeks. Julius asks why he’s there and Sonny says the will. Julius wants to find out what’s in it, but that’s a no.

They talk in the hall and Sonny says Julius’s father wanted to change the will. Julius says he already knows about Tilda and asks what about him? Sonny says everything was left to them and nothing to him. Julius gets pretty mad and Sonny says he’s sorry. Julius asks if the papers are signed and Sonny tells him tomorrow. The elevator opens and Tilda pops out.

Julius tells her to leave. She tells him to move or she’ll move him. She says all Julius is doing is making his father sicker. She asks if he’s trying to kill his father and he leaves. Tilda tells Sonny they should get security and he’d better keep an eye on Julius.

Kelly and Esperanza check on Alex and the nameless baby. Alex says she can see his personality already. Kelly and Esperanza talk about how their kids are growing up too fast. Alex is worried that her son will start asking questions before she’s ready to answer them. Esperanza teases Kelly about Ramses. Kelly isn’t sure if he likes her like that, but Alex says she thinks he does. Kelly says she would be grateful for a good man in her life and it’s hard raising a boy as a single mom. Alex says she guesses she’ll find out. Kelly says she’s sorry, but Alex says don’t say that; she did this and she’ll work it out. Kelly says she’s proud of Alex, especially how she handled Randal and Brad. Kelly says they come around when they see you’ve stepped into your strength. Alex says she’ll fight tooth and nail to protect her baby.

Esperanza asks what she’s going to do about Randal. Alex says he’s not going to take her child away from her and there’s no way she’ll let that happen. She says she has one option that she’d never consider unless he doesn’t stop. Kelly asks what, but she says she doesn’t want to think about it. Esperanza says it sounds like she’s thinking of something crazy. Alex says she’ll protect her child from anyone and she won’t let Randal take him away. She says the baby is her responsibility.

Kelly suggests she let Randal see the baby, but Alex says no way. Kelly thinks it might get Randal to drop the custody thing. Alex says Brad is the baby’s father, but Kelly says he has to want to be. Alex says she’s tired of being sorry and if these grown men can’t get past this and get in line, she’s going to have to show them what she’s made of. Kelly asks her to reconsider. She says she can’t stand Justice’s father, but she lets him see Justice because he’s his son. She tells her to just think about it, but Alex is firm in her no.

Brad has fallen asleep while he and Marcie were watching TV. He wakes up, wanting to cuddle and she says they shouldn’t, but they spoon. She says it feels good and he agrees. She asks him to let her go and he tells her to let herself be held. She says she’s not Alex and she knows he wishes it was Alex that he was holding. She suggests he go to her, but he says he can’t. She tells him it’s his ego. She says she’s telling him things he can’t tell himself, and they still have a chance once he gets past his anger. She says something happened before he came there and he seems different. Brad says Rusty did even worse things to Alex than he knew. He molested both of his daughters. He says it doesn’t excuse Alex, but it casts a new light on everything. He remembers her shutting down when he would touch her and how she cried the first time they made love.

He says sex became boring and short. Marcie says that explains a lot. He says sex with Marcie made him feel alive, and that he became angry about all he’d lost. Marcie says they can’t do that again and she regrets it. She tells him to go home to Alex and tell her what he just told Marcie. She tells him she’s going to bed and Brad says she’d better lock the door.

At the hospital, Tina tends to Pete. Eddie calls Ben who is sitting outside Pete’s room. Ben says Tina is still there and so is the camera. Eddie says he has it, because apparently he has nothing better to do than hang out at the hospital.

Eddie sees Andrew, who says he works there at night for extra money. Eddie says that’s not how to make extra money. Andrew says he wants in. Eddie says to come see him, but Andrew says he’s there now. Eddie says he doesn’t trust Andrew and that he’s not ready for Team Eddie. Bleh. Eddie leaves.

Julius gets in the elevator with Eddie and calls him “copper.” Really? In 2016? Julius tells him he heard he got shot and he needs to lay off the cocaine since he thinks he can take on the world. Eddie says Julius is just a punk ass wannabe when his father has all the reach. Eddie makes a yo momma comment. Again, in 2016? Julius says when his father is gone, he’s going to be the man, and when he comes for Eddie, it’s not going to be a drive-by. Julius tells him to look out for Quan.

Eddie asks who Quan is and Julius says Eddie took his money, really Eddie’s money. Julius says he’ll see him soon and gets off the elevator. Eddie ponders whatever is in his pea brain.

Julius goes to his father’s room. The guard says he’s resting and Julius says he brought his favorite candle. He asks if Tilda was there and asks what the guard knows about her. The guard blows him off. Julius says he’s next after his father dies and goes into the room

Julius picks up a pillow to smother his father. He puts the pillow over the old man’s face and the alarms go off.

Next time, Marcie asks Brad if he’s turned on, Kelly calls out Randal to his mother, Eddie smacks Ben and Randal’s mother talks to Alex.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills — The Reunion, Part Two

OMG — I don’t know if I can hear Munchhausen again without screaming and never stopping.

We backtrack a little, with LisaR accusing LVP of manipulating the Munchhausen situation. (Can you hear me, wracked with sobs?) Yolanda leaves. LisaR wants LVP to own it. Another phrase I’m growing weary of.

Erika goes into the dressing room with Yolanda, while LisaR keeps saying she did it, meaning she began the whole Munchhausen debacle. Erika comes back and says it was just a mild meltdown and Yolanda will BRB. LisaR says she woudn’t have brought up the word without LVP encouraging her to say it. She keeps saying LVP needs to own that phone call.

Yolanda returns. Andy asks who Yolanda believes. She says she wants to believe LVP, but she lost her compass. LVP says she was wrong to doubt Yolanda. Yolanda says LVP is very powerful and amazing, but she manipulates things sometimes to make a great show, and compassion for other people should come first. Andy stirs it by asking who she believes again.

LisaR says LVP talks around and around and it’s making her crazy. She gets up and leaves, but never stops talking and then walks back. Eileen chimes in with something about being true to yourself. Andy brings up LVP saying that Mohammad said nothing was wrong with the kids. Yolanda does say that Mohammad had told LVP the kids were fine, and says that LVP and Mohammad’s friendship was wrecked because of it. God help me. It’s not like she said she didn’t believe anything was wrong with the kids; she just repeated what Mohammad said.

Andy brings up Erika squealing to Yolanda. LisaR was somehow involved and Yolanda gives her a mini-lecture about people with Lyme disease. Yolanda starts to cry and the ladies rally around her. She says there was a lack of compassion, but if she only opened one heart, the sharing was worth it. During the break, LisaR tells Yolanda she hopes they can start over and she didn’t mean any harm. This girl has some kind of problem that I can’t exactly put my finger on. She doesn’t have a filter for sure, but she also seems to go whichever way the wind is blowing.

Kim Richards joins the group. Andy asks about Monte’s passing away. Kim says she lost the best friend she ever had. They go right into the estrangement with Kyle and we see flashbacks of the ladies talking about her throughout the season. Some of it is the unfiltered one’s opinion, which I’ve felt is over-the-top since she’s not related or even close friends with Kim.

Everyone gets all teary-eyed and Andy asks where Kim is in her recovery. Kim tells him it’s none of his business in a nice way and that it’s anonymous for a reason. Kim says she’s hard to love and Kyle says that’s not true, even when she didn’t like what Kim was doing, she loved her. Eileen wakes up and says she’s always wanted the best for Kim. Not to be left out, LisaR says her too.

Kim says her feelings were hurt and she felt like LisaR was attacking her. Andy stirs the pot some more by reminding LisaR of some of the things she said. LisaR says she was angry and she’s sorry about some of the words she used. Yolanda tells her she should be held accountable. LisaR says for what? She lost her sister to addiction and she understands it well. Yolanda asks why she wasn’t more sensitive then and LisaR says she’s just human.

Eileen brings up the party at her house a million years ago when Kim acted like a jerk. She says it’s not like they were looking for a problem. Kim says Eileen is always jumping in whenever there’s an issue with LisaR. Kim says this is reality, not a soap, and Eileen tells her not to be rude.

Andy says moving on, but stays on the topic, reminding Kyle of her being uncomfortable with what LisaR had to say about Kim. They talk about how Kathryn tried to defend Kim and shared her own tragedy. Kim thanks her and thanks Erika as well.

Andy brings up the shoplifting, but Kim says she can’t discuss a pending court case. He asks if that was her low point and she says when she took the first drink was her low point. The “enraged” word comes back to haunt LisaR, but she’s like, let’s move on. Andy tells her she’d said a lot of strong things throughout the season that she wants to sweep under the rug.

Andy asks if Kyle and Kim are still sweeping. Kyle says they’re starting fresh. LVP says sometimes it’s best not to rehash things. Yolanda says Kim does deserve to be loved and they all cheer her along on her journey. (Ugh! Another one of those buzzwords.) Applause from everyone. Exit Kim.

Andy asks if Kathryn ever gets mistaken for Aviva from the NYC Wives. None of us ever noticed it before, but she does look like Aviva. He asks how her hearing device is going and she’s thrilled with it.

I guess she’s not that exciting because Andy moves along to all the parties during the season. We flash back to all the fabulousness. Various details about the parties are discussed. Andy asks Kyle to define barbecue, which she says is basically having a dinner party outside. All of a sudden they’re discussing having a real barbecue. They talk about who looked most like a hooker at the Moulin Rouge party and Erika says she’s out since she looks like a hooker all the time. Ha-ha! I do like how self-depreciating she is.

Here we go. The time when LVP asked Eileen too many questions and didn’t know how to apologize. After seeing the flashbacks, Eileen says she feels vindicated. She says she tried to get resolution in a nice way and LVP was dismissive. She says LVP was condescending, she felt manipulated and doesn’t trust her. LVP doesn’t understand why Eileen didn’t bring it up at the time instead of waiting. Eileen says LVP wasn’t sincere in her apology. LVP says she honestly didn’t realize that Eileen was so hurt. Eileen says it’s like they’re on two different planets and she finds LVP manipulative.

Eileen had shared about being in an abusive relationship and she says she found LVP’s blog offensive, as LVP talked about having had an abusive boyfriend and seeing no purpose in reliving it. Andy asks LVP about the past relationship which happened pre-Ken when she was 19. Lisa tears up and says he hurt her once, but then doesn’t want to continue.

Next time, Kathryn and Erika call each other desperate, more name calling happens, apologies are made, and they use that word again.

April 10. 2016 — GH, Loving Wrong & BH Reunion Round One

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Nina orders a martini in the biggest glass they have. Dillon walks into the bar. And no, that’s not the start of a joke.

Obrecht tells Finn there’s no more work for him there, so auf wiefershehen. He finishes that with so long, farewell, and good-by, referencing The Sound of Music. He’s about to leave when Carly sees him.

Paul and Anna are in cells across from one another.

Carrrlos tells Alexis he was offered a deal. She advises him to turn it down.

Julian tells Sonny that if he wanted to talk, he could have just asked. Sonny says he’s not there to talk and this is Julian’s last chance.

Dillon approaches Nina. He says he’s surprised to see her there and that he thought she and Franco were going on vacation. She says it’s not happening now, or probably ever. She says he has the right idea of just concentrating on work and that Crimson is her baby and will never disappoint her. She gets her martini and asks for a jumbo one for Dillon too. It really doesn’t look like that big of a glass. He should have given her a beer mug.

Kiki comes out because she heard a noise. Franco says sorry, he threw something. He tells Kiki that he had another fight with Nina and it was about her. Kiki says she can move out if they want. Franco says they’re at the point in their relationship when you misunderstand everything and it’s not her fault. Kiki says Nina really loves him.

Carly introduces Jocelyn to Finn. They talk about bearded lizards as she’d like one as a pet. Carly wanted an exam for Jocelyn, who has a rash, but both Griff and Brad are out to dinner. Finn says he’ll be glad to do it.

Sonny tells Julian that Carrrlos is going to spill the beans about him. He asks if Julian ordered Carrrlos to kill him too.

Alexis tells Carrrlos the deal isn’t in his best interest. He says it’s not in Julian’s best interest and sorry, he’s rejecting her offer of representation. He says he thinks he can handle signing a paper. She asks what protection he has if he does.

Paul tells Anna he can get them out of this mess if she joins forces with him. She asks why he acts like they’re allies. He says he doesn’t want her throwing her life away and she asks what his big interest is in her.

Mayor Lomax storms into the precinct, demanding why her DA is in jail. How much time does she have?

Finn examines Jocelyn. Carly says she had a kidney transplant when she was younger and she doesn’t want to take any chances. Finn asks if there are any other symptoms and Carly says she usually has a lot of energy, but she’s been sluggish lately.

Franco doesn’t want to go to work, but Kiki says she’ll be fine. He makes her promise to call if she needs anything. He leaves. She hears sirens and looks outside, telling herself it’s okay. She calls Morgan at the hospital. He’s not available, so she leaves a message to say she called. She keeps telling herself she’s okay and safe.

Nina is getting drunk and Dillon says she should slow down. She says she doesn’t have anyone to go home to, she’s free, childless and infertile. She suggests pulling an all-nighter at the office and sucks down the rest of her drink with a straw. She says they need to put their stone to the grindnose and tells the bartender the floor is uneven. Dillon helps her out the door and she keeps saying Crimson is her baby. He says he’ll drive her home.

Julian tells Sonny that Carrrlos was acting on his own. Sonny talks about Julian’s previous lies and how he’s doubtful. Julian says he didn’t even know Carrrlos was still in the country. Sonny says Carrrlos is going to finger him for Duke’s murder and he doesn’t want any backlash for Alexis or the rest of the family.

Alexis tells Carrrlos that the prosecution has the right to change its mind. He says it’s Julian they want and she says they want them both. She says Anna will want him even more.

Jordan tells Lomax that Paul was charged earlier. Lomax says she knows since she was his one phone call. Jordan explains about Sloane being the body pulled from the river and that Paul confessed to shooting him. Lomax asks if there’s a statement and Jordan says there’s a witness, Anna. Lomax says to give her a reason not to fire her right now.

Anna says Paul blackmailed her and let her think she killed Carrrlos. Paul asks why she wouldn’t want Carrrlos dead; it’s revenge for Duke and her hands are clean. She says she just wants justice now. She wants to know what the end game is and why he’s doing this. He says he’s in love with her.

Anna tells him that’s absurd. He asks why else he would have gone to such great lengths to protect her? He says that he admires her and she infuriates him in equal measure. She says there’s a significant difference between them — she owns up to her mistakes and he doesn’t.

Finn tells Carly that it’s Fifth disease, something that spreads around school every once in a while. He says it usually goes away on its own, and she’s no longer contageous, but she can be kept home from school for a few days.

Franco drops his papers everywhere and Obrecht asks if he’s throwing himself a parade. He says he’s throwing away his attempt at art therapy on himself.

Dillon gets Nina home and says he’ll make her some tea, since that’s what she drinks at the office. Nina tells him how sweet he is. She thanks him for being good to her. She says Franco doesn’t understand what she wants. She needs someone who understands and she needs him. She kisses him.

Alexis says the case is circumstantial and the state just doesn’t want a possible loss of the case. She says even if it’s a reduced sentence, one of Sonny’s people will kill Carrrlos from the inside. She says she wants to take it to trial and if she wins, he’ll be a free man.

Julian says he’s been out of the business for a while, and maybe Sonny resents that because he can’t do it. He says he’s living an upstanding life now and Sonny wants to take it away from him.

Franco tells Obrecht that he and Nina have been fighting for weeks. Obrecht says maybe they should go their separate ways. He says he loves Nina, but she wants a baby and has started to resent Kiki. Obrecht says maybe Nina needs a Kiki of her own.

Nina starts pulling Dillon’s clothes off. He asks where Franco is, and she says she doesn’t care. She passes out with his shirt under her and Kiki walks in.

Sonny says the only reason Julian is still living is because Danny needed his bone marrow, but Danny’s father is back now. He says if something happens to Carrrlos, an unfortunate accident or a disappearance, he’s holding Julian responsible. If Carrrlos dies, Julian dies.

Carrrlos says his baby needs him now, not years from now, and agrees to have Alexis represent him.

Jordan says they have DNA linking Sloane’s body to Paul. She asks Lomax for 24 hours, but Lomax says she’s not giving her another second. She says Jordan created a public relations nightmare and she wants Paul released immediately.

Anna says she has nothing but loathing for Paul and they have nothing in common. Lomax comes in and says obviously everything was a mistake. Paul leaves with her, telling Anna “ta-ta!”

Dillon tells Kiki not to get the wrong idea. She says don’t worry; she heard the whole thing. He tells Kiki how he found Nina at the bar. He hoists Nina onto hisshoulder and puts her to bed.

Franco says Nina can’t get pregnant and he doesn’t want kids. Obrecht says there are other ways to give her what she wants. She says perhaps Nina should volunteer her time. She gives some suggestions including knitting booties for Schnauzers. She says she doesn’t understand the obsession with putting animals in human clothing, but they do give you unconditional love.

Finn tells Carly that Jocelyn should be good as new in a couple of days. Obrecht comes by and wonders why Finn is still there. Carly explains that he examined Jocelyn, and Obrecht isn’t happy.

Alexis says not to tell anyone what they’ve discussed. Carrrlos tells her he never wanted to betray Julian and she says she’ll be in touch.

Carly tells Obrecht she asked Finn to examine her daughter. He tells her to go wait for the test results. Obrecht says he has no privileges to treat people there. He says anyone who would impede the health of a child is dangerous. She says he flaunted the rules and he’s the dangerous one. She tells him he’ll treat patients there over her dead body, and he gets a “hmm” look on his face.

Dillon suggests that Kiki have aspirin ready when Nina wakes up and hopes she doesn’t remember what happened. Kiki says she appreciates how kind he was to Nina. He says he hopes they didn’t disturb Kiki. She says she couldn’t sleep and he asks if she wants him to make tea for her, but she says no thanks. Morgan calls and Dillon leaves.

Max wonders if Julian will back off of Carrrlos. Sonny wants him watched around the clock since he’ll do anything to save his own ass.

Julian meets Alexis at the MetroCourt. He thanks her for taking the Carrrlos case. She says it would ruin their lives if Carrrlos exposed Julian.

Lomax says she has papers to sign. Jordan tells Paul there’s evidence out there against him and she’s going to find it.

Carrrlos ends up in the cell across from Anna.

Tomorrow, Anna has no sympathy for Carrrlos, Feliz finds out griff is Duke’s son, and more nookie for Sam and Jason.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Ben is about to put something in Pete’s IV, when Nurse Tina calls Andrew. He tells her to go into Pete’s room and be cool about it. He says do it now or Pete is dead, adding to leave her phone on.

Eddie is in front of the door, but Tina says she has to check on Pete. Eddie tries to intimidate her, but she won’t have it and goes in anyway. She tells Ben she thought he worked outside, and when he says he does, she suggests he do that. Tina tells the other nurse to go get a camera to put on the patient, which is pretty disturbing to Ben. She asks him about the pain meds, but he says he kicked them.

Eddie calls Ben from like three feet away and Ben tells him Tina is putting a camera in the room. He also mentions her asking about the pain meds. Eddie tells him the nurse can tell he’s a junkie and she’s putting the camera in there to check on him, not Pete.

Tina calls Andrew and tells him about the camera idea. He says she’s brilliant and that’s why he loves her. Lushion asks what happened and Andrew says he just won a bet on a horse named Tina. Lushion calls Natalie, but she’s busy yapping with the girls.

Quan’s mother finds him on the corner and smacks him. Tilda asks if he’s doing drive-bys now. Quan says she can’t be rolling up on him and his boys and she pulls out a gun and shoots. The guys all disappear and she says they’re gone now. She says she taught him better and gave him the connections. Quan blames Julius. He says he owes Julius money and was forced into it. Tilda tells him if the cops find out it’s him, his ass is grass. She tells him if he does something that stupid again, he’s going to find himself on the wrong end of a drive-by. She also says she wants Joey dead.

Kelly checks on sleeping Alex and the baby. The other kids are sleeping too, and all is peaceful for the moment. She goes back downstairs and joins Natalie and Esperanza. Kelly says she’s going to sleep in Alex’s room. Esperanza asks if they’re safe. She says she can’t believe Brad called Alex’s parents and Kelly says they’re like something out of a 40s movie. She tells them about Alex smacking Randal around. Natalie says you never go after a mother’s child and they toast to that. Kelly tells them that Randal is suing for custody. She says that Marcie and Brad have moved in together, but it’s a roommate situation. Esperanza says what about catching them in the shed, but Kelly says she thinks that was a one-time thing. They agree the focus has to be on the baby.

Natalie and Esperanza want leave. Kelly says the good news is that she found a house for Natalie. Natalie says after all this, she wants to stay where she is. Kelly says it’s next door to her and doesn’t she want to live on their block? Sure, after all the drama that’s just happened. Kelly calls Ramses and asks if they can come by to see the house. Natalie thinks Kelly wants to see more than the house because of the way she’s smiling.

The girls go to look at the house. For women who were so worried about safety, they leave Alex alone sleeping with the kids. I love the houses on this block because they’re so colorful with gingerbread trim and look like play houses. Kelly introduces the girls to Ramses. Natalie says the house feels good. Natalie asks if she can bring Lushion by, and Kelly suggests she call him right now because they haven’t intruded on Ramses enough in the middle of the night. They go back to the house where Natalie left her phone. The girls get all giggly over Ramses, which is understandable.

When they get back, Esperanza and Natalie question Kelly about Ramses. Esperanza says she knows why Kelly was so excited to go over there. Kelly tells Natalie to call Lushion and they joke it’s because Kelly wants to go back. Esperanza asks if Kelly and Travis are done. I hope so, since he hasn’t been on the show since the first season. Natalie calls Lushion and leaves a message to call her back, explaining about the house.

Esperanza asks Kelly to tell them more about Ramses, and she gives them the condensed version. Natalie tells her to make him wait, no sex yet, and Kelly says geez, she just met him. Natalie adds she doesn’t want to go through what they did with Travis again. Kelly says sometimes they think they’re in love but it’s only a distraction to keep them from what God has for them. Kelly thinks Ramses might be the real thing, but Natalie says to take it slow.

Lushion calls back and Natalie asks him to come by to see the house. Esperanza says since no one is driving, let’s have more wine.

Quan and one of his cronies are watching Faun go to Joey’s house. Quan says they’re going to get the money from her and smoke Joey.

Faun suggests she and Joey go to a hotel, but he says his mother is gone until tomorrow. Faun doesn’t think it’s very romantic. She says she likes nicer things and he asks if it’s too ghetto. She says it’s not that, she thinks it’s not safe. She says she has money, but he says he doesn’t want that. They start making out. Maybe ghetto isn’t so bad after all.

Brad lounges on the couch and Marcie asks how long he’s staying up. He says he can’t sleep and she says neither can she. He says everything is reminding him of Alex. He says he was thinking about seeing his kids. Marcie says she’s glad she and Randal didn’t have any. He says he’d feel like a fool if he went back. Marcie says in some eyes, but the only thing that matters is what’s in his eyes. She adds that she still loves Randal, and remembers when things were good. She says she hates Alex, but Randal was a charmer. When he wants something, he won’t stop until he gets it. She says Alex was no match for him. She says once he set his sights on Alex, she was helpless.

Brad says she’s wrong. Alex is smart, cunning and manipulative, and knew exactly what she was doing. Marcie says she grew up with Virginia and Rusty, and Brad says she had to do whatever it took to distance herself and she’s strong and tough. Marcie says she hears him, but Randal has two masters degrees in psychology. She tells Brad about how he got murderers off and she wouldn’t underestimate him. He asks if she’s pushing him to go back. She says she needs help with the rent, but she wouldn’t blame him if he went back. She says she believes Alex is sorry. She says again that Alex is no match for Randal, but Brad doesn’t agree.

Brad asks what they’re going to do, just look at each other all night? Marcie suggests a movie. She says what about an action adventure film, since there’s no love story in that. Brad says he likes action. Hmm…

Lushion comes to Ramses’s house still in uniform, and Ramses asks why he’s there and what’s going on. Lushion realizes he’s the one selling the house and introduces himself. Lushion calls Natalie telling her he’s there. Lushion apologizes for the other night and says sorry about Ramses’s mom. He asks if Ramses told Natalie her mother died in the house. Ramses says no. Natalie comes out and they make small talk. Lushion suggests they could use Ramses on the force, but Natalie is like, if he stays we won’t have a house.

Ramses brings them in. Lushion says it’s really nice and Natalie says she thought he’d like it and it has three bedrooms. Lushion likes the size of the rooms. Ramses says he’s still waiting on the appraisal, but the market value is $210K. Really? The houses are cute, but not that cute. Lushion says let’s do this and he’ll call the bank tomorrow. If only it were that easy IRL.

Outside, Lushion tells Natalie he really likes the house. Lushion tells her he’s smart and ten steps ahead of Eddie, and when all is said and done, he’s coming out on top. He tells Natalie to trust him. She says it’s hard, but she will. Natalie says she loves him and he says he loves her too.

She tells him that Pete had been looking for him and left a disk for him. He asks where it is and she says in the breadbox. He says he’ll come by in the morning. She asks if everything is okay and he tells her yes, but on his way back to the squad car, he hopes the disk is still there.

Next week, Quan tells Joey he’s dead, Julius wants to know about the will, and Alex says she’ll fight tooth and nail to protect her baby.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – The Reunion – Part One

The first topic is LVP’s flying in the little horse. We quickly move on to Kathryn’s criticism of Eileen’s bags and the expensive sunglasses debacle from several seasons ago.

We flash back to both of Erika’s personalities. We also find out that Erika owns the same dress LVP is wearing tonight. There’s talk about both Erika and LVP being married to older men. Erika talks about how people called her a golddigger when she and Tom first got together. Erika was also married before and has a son on the LAPD.

They talk about Erika bringing her glam squad to Dubai and Erika teaches us her “pat the puss” dance step, which is originally a dance hall move from Jamaica. OMG – someone tweets about Erika being too old to be prancing around. She answers graciously, but no comment from me. Andy says she seems submissive to Tom, but she says she’s being respectful. She talks about not being Erika Jayne at home.

Andy congratulates Yolanda on her kids who are models like she’s the one walking the runway. Someone asks about Yolanda missing her old walk-in fridge, and she says it’s still sending her tweets.

Now the hard part. Yolanda’s marriage. We flash back to better times that were apparently not as idyllic as they seemed. Andy says what a shock it was to everyone and asks why the divorce decision was made. Yolanda says being so ill takes the life out of you as well as the caretaker. She says David didn’t change, she did, and this is the outcome. She and Kathryn talk about divorce as a loss of a best friend and everyone says how sorry they are. Andy asks about the public criticism of David and Yolanda makes excuses for him. Sorry, I think he should be criticized.

LVP asks if she was blindsided and we flash back to an emotional moment. Yolanda says it had nothing to do with it at the time. Yolanda says she didn’t really know until after the filming. She says she didn’t know it was the end of the road and had hoped to be completely well before dealing with the issues they had. She doesn’t want to publicly analyze the marriage. Andy asks if she blames the divorce on her illness. Yolanda says they probably would be together had she not gotten sick, but that’s life. He asks what their contact is now and she says they’re taking time to settle, which I take to mean no contact.

Everyone expresses how surprised they were. LVP says there were no signs. Andy rudely asks if Yolanda confided in Erika. Erika says she’s not talking about what they talked about. Yolanda says they can dissect everything now, but it does no good.

Here it comes. Andy asks Kyle if she thinks Yolanda’s marriage could have been affecting her health. False alarm. This gets glossed over and a short discussion about menopause ensues. Andy tries to bring it back by asking if Yolanda thinks she was depressed. She says because of the circumstances, but not clinically. He asks if she thinks she’ll get married again and she says no. I hear you.

It’s Kathryn’s turn next. We flash back to some of her scenes, including the Faye Resnick stuff. They talk about Donnie being the hottest husband and unseating Mauricio for that title. Kyle says a lot of the interviews upset Faye and it’s not the person she knows. Kathryn talks about how Faye drug her and her then husband into the OJ thing. Andy talks about the OJ movie and how it was on TV around the same time Faye was on the Wives. Kathryn is sticking to her feelings, while Kyle is all rainbows and unicorns about Faye. I’m sure she’s a great friend to Kyle, who met her after all that happened, but I always get the impression she thinks she’s better than everyone else with nothing to back that up.

More OJ, Faye and Marcus Allen talk. Kathryn’s comments about LisaR’s eating habits are brought up and there’s a small discussion. Then they talk about Kathryn’s father committing suicide and she starts to cry because her nephew just died of a heroin overdose. She says her family has gone through hard times, which seems like an understatement.

Okay, here it comes. Really this time. The Munchhausen thing. I thought if I heard that word one more time on this show, I was going to go out of my mind. We flash back and I still find it odd that no one focuses on how Yolanda started to feel better after she had her breast implants removed and the kids who have Lyme disease were breastfed. Hello? Is this thing on?

We start with LisaR’s problem with Yolanda’s Instagram posts and how her illness would ebb and flow. Kyle says nobody ever questioned that she had Lyme disease, but they thought something else must be going on. I can understand the good day, bad day thing though, and I think a lot of people don’t get that. Andy asks if LisaR still believes Yolanda used her illness to her advantage and she says that’s how she felt in that moment.

Yolanda says she has trust issues with friendships now. She says LisaR had no business coming out with the opinons she did without knowing her and what was going on. The breaking for commercial music starts and I think someone’s phone is going off. I can’t believe there are only a few more minutes to the show.

Yolanda asks LisaR what her basis was for being so outspoken. LisaR says her hairdresser had a friend with Munchhausen and suggested it might be Yolanda’s problem, but it was jut a conversation. Yolanda asks why make it public then. LisaR says at her birthday party, Harry said they need to support Yolanda whether she’s sick or not and LVP said there goes our storyline. She says she subsequently got a phone call from LVP, telling her to bring it up. LVP says she rarely calls LisaR and LisaR pulls out phone records. She says she brought it up because LVP told her to. Yolanda and Erika leave the set.

Next week, more of the same, Andy asks Yolanda who she believes, Kim joins the group, and Eileen doesn’t trust LVP.