What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Franco brings Elizabeth to The Floating Rib. Sam and Spinelli walk in, and Spinelli tells Sam, it pains him to admit it, but Peter did a masterful job framing Obrecht. Sam says, one might say she had it coming, but Spinelli says, in this time and in this moment, she shouldn’t be in jail. Franco doesn’t mean to interrupt, but asks if they just said Obrecht was in jail. Sam says, Anna arrested Obrecht yesterday, and Franco asks, why? Spinelli says, a plethora of charges, including trying to kill Franco.

In her cell, Obrecht shouts that she’s a victim of Nelle’s maternal guilt, and that woman needs a psychiatrist. Nina comes in, and Obrecht says, it’s so good to see a friendly face. Nina doesn’t look happy, and Obrecht asks, what’s the matter?

Chase and Willow walk into Charlie’s, and Willow says she swears Nelle was goading her on purpose. Chase says, of course (🍷) she was. Nelle is always scheming. If she can get you to blow up, she can play the victim. Willow says, so she should ignore her? He says, if possible. Try not to give her anything she can use in family court. The goal is to weaken her case, and strengthen Michael’s. She tells him that Sasha told her about Diane suggesting they get married, and she’s considering it. He says, Michael is too. Harmony walks in, and Willow asks if she wants to join them.

Julian says, Britt works with his son Lucas at GH, and she says she did. Although she’s closer to his son-in-law. Brad’s her best friend. He says she might want to find a new one. He’s facing serious time. She says she just saw him at the courthouse before they transferred him to Pentenville. Julian asks how he’s doing, and she says, at rock bottom. She can’t believe he kept Wiley’s paternity secret all by himself. It’s crazy. She’d almost say it’s unbelievable.

Michael tells Sasha, hypothetically, if they did get married… Sasha says, hypothetically, it could tip things in his favor with Wiley’s custody. He says he doesn’t want to pressure her into something she’s not ready for, and she says she didn’t think she was at a place where motherhood works for her, but then she ran into Willow. The thought of Wiley growing up with Nelle gave her a sinking feeling, and she’ll do anything she can to stop Nelle. And she can. If marrying him will help protect his son from that awful woman, she’s in.

Curtis asks Jordan, what’s going on? and she says maybe it wasn’t the best idea for her to see Cyrus tonight. She was more emotional than she realized. Her phone dings, and she looks at a text. Tell no one about TJ. Don’t want to ruin Aunt Stella’s visit. You’ll have a visitor soon. Be alone. She tells Curtis, ballistics traced every shell casing, but there’s nothing that tie it back to Cyrus. He asks if that’s all, and she says she told him, she shouldn’t have gone to Pentenville. Cyrus was gloating about killing Taggert without actually incriminating himself. Curtis says, of course (🍷), and she says, every time he said Taggert, she saw Trina’s face, and she lost it in front of him. She got emotional, and showed him that she was in pain, and she hates giving him that satisfaction. He tells her not to let it poison her. She doesn’t have to go back. It’s over. She says they both know it’s not, and asks him to take Stella out to dinner so she can decompress. Tell Stella his neurotic wife needs time alone. He says his beautiful wife isn’t neurotic. He’ll book Stella a room at the MetroCourt. She thanks him, and he says he’ll let her know where they end up getting dinner. If she changes her mind, they’d love for her to meet them.

Franco tells Spinelli, when Andre was performing the memory map procedure, they were interrupted by a gunman. Anna thinks Obrecht hired the gunman? Spinelli says, Anna was led to believe Obrecht hired the gunman, and Elizabeth says, by whom? Sam says, evidence. That’s what they heard. Sam says sorry to interrupt their night, and Spinelli says, apologies. They move on, and Elizabeth tells Franco, sorry. She knows Obrecht has done her fair share of terrible things, but she and Franco are friends. Franco says, there’s no way Obrecht hired the gunman, and asks if Elizabeth disagrees. She says, Anna isn’t one to act rashly. If she arrested Obrecht, it was for a good reason.

Obrecht says Nina doesn’t actually believe the heinous lies that are being told about her. Nina says she’s lost track of how many times she’s forgive Obrecht. Each time, she’s convinced herself she did the right thing, but Obrecht is making it harder and harder to defend her. Obrecht says she was framed by Anna’s devious son. Peter arranged Drew’s plane crash, and sent the assassin after Andre and Franco. And that conniving weasel set her up to take the fall.

Britt tells Julian, Brad adores Lucas. He’d never intentionally hurt his husband. She admires that about Brad. She doesn’t know if she would have done the same in his shoes. Julian asks, what? and she says, take the fall by himself. Julian tells her to just come out and say what she’s after, but she says, where’s the fun in that? She knows he was helping Brad. What made him throw Brad to the wolves?

Harmony apologizes to Willow for not being more available, and asks how she’s holding up. Willow says, some days are better than others, and Harmony says she’s grateful Willow has Chase. Chase say he’s doing the best he can, and Willow says, he’s been amazing. Harmony says Willow has her as well. Willow thanks her, and says she knows it’s been a lot for Harmony too. Harmony says as long as Willow’s okay, she’ll be fine.

Michael asks if Sasha is really okay with this, and she says, better than okay. He takes her hands, and says he’s lucky to have her. She says she’s the lucky one. He’s always had faith in her, even when she didn’t deserve it. His support restored her faith in herself. He’s a good person, and she’s stronger with him. He says they’re stronger together, and Sasha agrees. He says he’s not just saying this because it’s what you’re supposed to say to someone you’re marrying, but he loves her. She says she loves him too, and he asks if she could love Wiley. She says she already does.

Franco tells Elizabeth, Obrecht’s track record is troubling, but she’s always been there for him. She’s never judged him, even for his past, and she’s been such a rock of a friend; it makes no sense. She says the only one who can answer that question is Obrecht. Franco wants to go to the PCPD, but it’s their night out. She says they’ll have plenty of nights out, and he deserves answers. She tells him to go; she’ll wait there.

Spinelli asks why Sam cut him off, and she says he was about to tell Elizabeth and Franco everything they know about Peter. He says, the more people that know he’s deceptive, the better, but she says, no. Peter will feel cornered and desperate, and who knows what he’ll do. He could come after them or their families. Spinelli says he’d like to think Peter wouldn’t actually hurt Maxie or her children – not physically – but the toll it’s going to take on Maxie, knowing she trusted the wrong guy… Sam says she’s sorry, but there’s no way they can help or warn Maxie. If Maxie is pushed, she’ll feel forced to choose, and they both know what her choice is going to be.

Stella asks if they aren’t waiting for Jordan, but Curtis says they’re going without her; she needs alone time. Stella didn’t know her presence was such an inconvenience, and Curtis says, it’s not her. Jordan’s not up for company right now. She says, family doesn’t skip out when someone is struggling, like Jordan is. She wants to be there to support her. Curtis says supporting Jordan means giving her the space she asked for. Stella says, for the record, she’s still worried about Jordan, and Curtis says, noted, and they can talk all about it after dinner from the lovely room he booked her at the MetroCourt. She says he’s sweet.

Jordan sends a text. I’m alone. Now what?

Nina tells Obrecht, Peter changed. He and Maxie are building a life together. Obrecht says, one destined to be ruined, but Nina says, he’s not the same man. He’s actively trying to be a better person – unlike some of us. Obrecht says she’s committed many transgressions in the past. But while Peter only pretended to change, she really did. She didn’t kill Drew, and didn’t order the attack on Franco and Andre. Please believe her and help her. Nina asks why should she? and Obrecht says, because Nathan would want her to.

Julian says Britt doesn’t know what she’s talking about, but Britt says she and Brad have a very open friendship. He tells her everything. Julian agreed to work with him, then bailed, and worked against him. What gives? Julian supposes Brad failed to tell her that he was blackmailing him; threatening to tell Sonny that Julian was keeping his grandson from him. Britt admits Brad did fail to mention that. He doubts Brad told her that he repeatedly refused to listen to him, and sabotaged their plan at every turn. It’s Brad’s fault everything fell apart. She says she hasn’t seen Brad in a while. He’s completely lost his nerve, and is still concerned what people think. Julian says, that’s not a bad thing, but Britt says, people should live however they want. Why care about the choices you make? She sure as hell doesn’t.

Harmony’s phone dings. She looks at it, and frowns. Willow asks if everything is okay, and Harmony says, it’s work; she has to go. Willow suggests a hike on Saturday, and Harmony says, maybe. She tells Willow that she really appreciates the second chance, and she’s taking it seriously. She leaves, and Willow says, that was interesting. Chase says he didn’t realize Willow and her mother were getting close.

Michael tells Sasha, they’ll talk about any problems that come up, and they will because that’s life. Sasha promises to be honest and communicate, and he says he’ll do the same. She says, so does that mean… He gets down on one knee, and says, Sasha Gilmore, will you marry me? She says, yes, and they kiss.

Obrecht says, Nathan made them a family. If he was there, he’d want Nina to help her. Nina says he sure as hell wouldn’t want Obrecht to use his memory to manipulate her. Obrecht says, that’s not what she’s doing, but Nina says she’s done being dragged into this; it’s gone too far. Obrecht is on her own. Obrecht says, please, wait. She can explain how Peter did it, but Nina tells her, save it. Accept the consequences of her actions just once. She’s in a cell because of herself. If she genuinely cared what Nathan would have wanted, think about how important Peter is to Maxie and James. He’d want them to be happy. Consider that the next time she wants to tear their world apart. Nina calls for the guard, and leaves.

Diane asks Michael why she’s there. More Nelle shenanigans? He says he and Sasha have given some thought to the best way to fight Nelle. Diane suggested he get married, and Sasha agreed to be his wife. Diane says, that’s an absolutely awful idea.

Britt says, bottoms up, and she and Julian drink a shot. He says it’s probably a bad idea, but she says, who cares? Life is too short. No one hands you happiness. You have to reach out and grab it for yourself. Julian says, that’s awfully philosophical. Maybe when he was in his 20s, but he has a family now. She says that’s not what she heard.

Willow tells Chase, her mom is busy, and they mostly email or text. Chase says, letting her mom back in her life is a big deal, even if it’s in a small way. Willow says Shiloh messed with her mom’s life as much, if not more, than he messed with hers. It took courage to face it and break free. Her mom stood up to Shiloh, and she’s proud of her. She doesn’t want to waste a chance at a relationship with her. Chase says, if that’s what Willow wants, he supports her. He hopes Harmony lives up to her expectations.

😷 Here’s where there was a special report, but you know the drill.

Jordan looks at the picture she was sent of TJ. There’s a knock at the door. Jordan opens it, and asks what they’re doing here. Harmony says, Cyrus sent her, and walks in. Okay. Didn’t see that coming.

Franco visits Obrecht, who says he doesn’t believe this nonsense. He says, is it though? Is it nonsense? Did she hire someone to murder him? She says she’d never do anything to harm him. He’s her best friend. He says best friends don’t do things like hit you over the head at the pier, and she says, or put you in a position to get caught by the police. He says that’s what he’s talking about. Maybe they’re not so close after all. She says she never wanted him dead, and he says, except that one time she did. She says, not ever. He says, so when Andre was performing the procedure to restore his memory, she wasn’t concerned Drew might remember something that would incriminate her? She says she wasn’t involved in Faison’s demented scheme, but he says, maybe she was. Maybe her cover was blown, and she had to improvise. That meant destroying everyone who was in her way. Even her best friend.

Julian says Britt doesn’t know anything about his family, and she says Brad told her about his bumpy relationship with Lucas and his daughter doesn’t speak to him either. He says she really doesn’t care if she hurts someone else’s feelings, does she? but she says, she’s just saying what’s the point in acting like life’s a fairytale? You should take life as it comes; good, bad, and everything in between. He says she has a point, and she says she’ll drink to that. He says if she insists.

Diane says, the whole point of the marriage is to show that Michael can provide a more stable environment than Nelle, and can give Wiley a stable mother figure. He says, Sasha is a lot more stable than Nelle, but Diane says based on Sasha’s previous conduct, Nelle’s attorneys could argue otherwise. He asks who she thought he was going to get married to? and she says she may have been a little hasty in the suggestion department, especially now that she’s been briefed on Sasha’s past. He says, she did a background check? and she says, yeah. She wants to beat Nelle’s lawyers to the punch, and needs the full picture before the custody hearing. She was unaware of how untruthful Sasha had been while she’s been in Port Charles. Sasha asks if she would hurt Michael’s chances if she married him, and Diane says, unfortunately, she would.

Spinelli looks at his iPad, and says, there is no perfect frame. He’s going to find something to expose Peter. At the bar, Sam asks Elizabeth how Cameron is doing. Elizabeth says, he’s staying strong, but still has nightmares about that guy chasing him down and trying to kill him. She’s glad Jason was there. Sam says she thought the kids were in a warehouse, but Elizabeth says, they were. Then Taggert told Cameron to run, and he did, but a gunman followed him, Jason shot him before he could hurt Cameron.

Stella tells Curtis how much she enjoyed the meal, and he asks, what’s next? She says he doesn’t have to humor her anymore. She knows he’s worried about Jordan. She doesn’t blame him. The last time Jordan pushed them away, she was dying of kidney failure. Curtis says they learned a lot from that, and she’ll never keep anything important from him again.

Jordan says Harmony is working for Cyrus? How the hell did that even happen? That’s what I’d like to know too. Harmony asks if it even matters, and Jordan says, that she’s working for the head of a drug cartel? She’d say it matters a little bit. Harmony says she does what she can to get by, and Jordan says, why her? Harmony says she’s easily overlooked and dismissed. The crazy cult lady with the weird name. No one would suspect she’s working for Cyrus. They won’t suspect Jordan either. Jordan asks what that’s supposed to mean, and Harmony tells her, she’s going to be Cyrus’s person inside the PCPD. When shipments come in, she’ll assure the police attention is elsewhere. Cyrus will communicate through Harmony, and if she has a message for Cyrus, Harmony will make sure he gets it. Jordan says Cyrus thought this one up. Does Harmony know he has her son TJ, and he’s threatening to kill TJ if she doesn’t cooperate? Harmony says Jordan had better do what Cyrus says, and Jordan asks how long she’s supposed to break the law before TJ is freed? What guarantee does she have that TJ will be let go if she follows his orders? Harmony says, none. The only guarantee she has is what Cyrus will do to him if she doesn’t. She knows what Jordan is thinking. That she won’t compromise her morals, and turn the tables on Cyrus somehow. She thought the same thing. She has some advice. Jordan shouldn’t waste her time thinking. Cyrus is too powerful and his reach is too long. Until he says otherwise, Harmony works for Jordan, and so does she. Cyrus doesn’t want a trail leading back to him, so if she wants to reach Cyrus, she goes through Harmony. Jordan asks what Cyrus has on her, and Harmony says he offered to pull some strings so she could go with the early release program. She jumped at the chance to be near her daughter, but didn’t know the favor she’d have to do would be this big. If she messes up, it won’t be just her that pays. Jordan says Harmony is an accomplice to kidnapping and extortion, all while she’s on parole. Does she have any idea how big of a risk she’s taking? Harmony says, going against Cyrus is an even bigger risk. She has to go, and Cyrus will be in touch – through her. Jordan says, before Harmony leaves, she has a message for Cyrus. She needs proof TJ is alive. She wants photos of her son with the date and time, every single day. Harmony nods, and says she’ll do that. She leaves, and Jordan leans against the door.

Nina goes to The Floating Rib, and runs over to Stella, hugging her, and saying she’s glad Stella is okay. Curtis slides over so Nina can sit. Nina says the jetset lifestyle suits Stella, but Curtis is always happier when she’s in town. He says, he is? Nina says, he is, and she wishes she could say the same about herself and Obrecht. Stella says she heard about Obrecht’s arrest, and Nina says, unfortunately, she thinks Obrecht is guilty.

Obrecht says she won’t let Franco throw away their friendship, and he says then she has to give him something to work with; evidence, an alibi. She has to give him a reason to believe her. She says she can do one better. She’ll give him the person who actually did this – Peter August. He needed a fall guy, and chose her, and it worked. Everyone is willing to rush to judgement against her. She just never thought Franco would too. He knows better than anyone what it’s like to be wrongfully accused. She’s done things she’s not proud of. She wasted years of her life on Faison, but that ended when he killed Nathan. She’s a changed person, and didn’t do what she’s accused of. He has to believe her.

Diane says Sasha committing fraud is a problem, and Sasha says, even though she was never charged? Diane says she’s sure Nelle’s lawyers can find people who are willing to testify as to how she deceived Nina. That could badly undermine Michael’s case. Michael says, there has to be a way around it, and Sasha tells him, don’t. Diane is the only lawyer in the room right now, and knows what the courts will be looking for. Diane is right. She can’t marry him. Diane says that’s her recommendation. Unless Michael can marry a paragon – someone with good character, potentially Snow White and Mary Poppins all in one, don’t get married at all. She leaves, and Michael says, sorry about that. Sasha says, don’t be, but he says he wishes it was different. She laugh/cries and says they were engaged for all of fifteen minutes. Why is she so disappointed that they’re not getting married?

Julian comps Willow and Chase’s meal, saying he enjoyed seeing Willow take Nelle down a peg. Willow tells Chase, she may have thrown a drink in Nelle’s face. She knows it’s not very mature, but she couldn’t stand hearing Nelle talk about Wiley. It’s obvious she doesn’t care about him, and is just using him to hurt Michael. Chase asks how it happened, and Willow says, Nelle said something, then she said something back, then Nelle said something, and then she was wearing a drink. It’s everything he warned her not to do, but she can’t say she regrets it. He wishes he was there to see it.

Julian asks if Britt wants another round. She says she shouldn’t, but he pours it anyway, and she laughs. She says she has to visit her mom in the morning in jail. She definitely doesn’t want to be hung over for that. She told herself she was never setting foot in a jail again. At least she’ll be on the other side of the bars this time. But tomorrow is still some time away. She feels like letting loose tonight. She drains her drink.

Spinelli and Sam clink beer bottle and glass, respectively.

Obrecht asks Franco to tell her what he’s thinking, and he says he honestly doesn’t know. She asks him to chose to believe her, but he doesn’t think he can. She’s been a good friend, but she’s a survivor and it frightens him how far she’d go to protect herself. He leaves, and Obrecht looks really sad.

Jordan asks Curtis how dinner was, and he says it was nice. He thought she was going to bed. She says she can’t sleep anyway, and he says she didn’t even change her clothes. She says she got distracted, and asks if Stella is upset about not staying there. Curtis says, a little, because she wanted to help Jordan. Jordan looks like she might cry, and Curtis says he’s there for her; they’re in this together. She says she’s just upset about Cyrus. He doesn’t seem to have any weak spots. Curtis says, of course (🍷) he does. Everybody does. They just need to find his.

Michael tells Sasha he’s sorry, and she says, don’t be. He says, even though she’s not Wiley’s stepmother, Wiley is lucky to have her in his life. So is he. She thanks him, and he says he trusts her with Wiley completely. She says she trusts him, and they kiss. She asks what they do now, and he says, go back to the drawing board. There are plenty of ways to beat Nelle, and they’re going to find one that works for them. She says, sounds like a plan.

Willow asks Chase if he thinks Nelle will press charges for having a drink thrown on her. He says, anything’s possible, and she says that’s why she shouldn’t engage, but she’ll always stand up for Wiley whatever the cost. He says he loves that about her, and they kiss. He suggests they get out of there before Julian changes his mind. She says she feels weird leaving without thanking him again. Did Chase see where he went?

Julian is in the back room, crazy kissing with Britt. They get busy while there’s a song part. Didn’t see that coming either. Well, not until they started drinking anyway.

Sonny gets bad news, Jordan gives Sam false information, and Cyrus is surprised.

Shahs of Sunset

At Mj’s house, she says that life is baby laundry, nursing, pumping, feeding, and golden showers. The best gift she got is a peepee teepee, to keep Baby Shams from taking a shot at her during a diaper change. She’s focused on her incredible, beautiful, innocent angel. He is pretty cute. Nema video chats with her, and asks how Shams is. She says, he’s very well-tempered. Nema can’t believe he hasn’t seen her, Tommy, and Shams since the baby was born. He tells her to soak up much Shams as she can, but they should hang out. We flash back to Shams’s birth a month ago, and in her interview, MJ says if her uterus wasn’t removed, she was going to die. No one saw her or came to visit. It was like she and her baby weren’t important. Nema says he can’t wait to see her. In MJ’s interview, she says Reza’s favorite thing about pup Marti is how he clasps his paws, and Shams clasps his hands the same way. It reminds her of Reza, and it’s like a tsunami of pain. Her friends were anywhere but there.

Adam visits GG, and she asks where her cake is. He says he kind of ate it. She asks what happened after she left the cooking class, and Adam says, everyone was worried. In GG’s interview, she says the pain sharp, and we flash back to her leaving the class. We see a clip of GG calling the IVF nurse. The nurse tells her if she’s not having spotting, she’ll be okay. Spotting would mean she’s having a miscarriage. GG, Anita, and Yasmin go back to GG’s condo, and she goes into the bathroom. She comes out, and says, no blood. So should they party? She says she’s just kidding. Adam says the wondered if she could be pregnant, and in GG’s interview, she says that’s not the way she wanted anyone to know, and she’s not ready to tell them. She tells Adam that she’s already upset with Destiney. It’s like she has a new personality. She slept with Sara’s brother, and d*ck seems to be more important than friendship. She wants to talk to Destiney, but if Destiney comes at her hard, she’ll snatch Destiney’s wig off. Adam tells her about Reza wearing a piece of Destiney’s weave on the party bus going back.

Reza meets Sara at Aerial class, and says, it smells like excitement and regret. In his interview, Reza says somehow he lost his way, and gained some weight. If using the silks can help him lose some, he’s all for it. The instructor shows them how to hang upside down, which I’m sure is harder than it looks. Reza slides to the floor. He wraps himself up in a silk, and says he’s sure there’s a market in Iran. After class, he and Sara sit on the floor and talk. Sara tells him about two special agents knocking on her door, and serving her with a subpoena about her ex; his life is playing out in the media. In Sara’s interview, she says there’s a lot of media attention about her ex-boyfriend. Reza asks who the hell her ex-boyfriend is, and she says, Robert Kelly. They met in 2013, and were together three years. In her interview, she says he was charming and kind, and definitely not what she expected. Reza asks if he was anything like the person being described in the documentary (Surviving R, Kelly), and she says, no. It was an adult relationship, and there was never anything that was a red flag. Reza says, all she can do is speak the truth. She says she broke up with him when she found out he was sleeping with other women. In her interview, Sara says that he was having a party in Chicago, and told her, if she can’t be cool, don’t come, It was literally a full-on club; a happening. When a couple of women showed up, it hit her that he was screwing everyone. She watched the documentary, and the person she loved was a monster. Reza says she can’t blame herself, and she says she doesn’t understand how it’s possible. In her interview, she says that it wasn’t a perfect relationship. He was controlling, but she thinks her experience was different because of the boundaries she set. In hindsight, every small boundary and decision altered the dynamic, saving her life. Reza is glad she confided in him, and promises he won’t say a word to anyone.

Destiney goes wig shopping. In her interview, she says wigs are her thing. Hers was not a normal childhood, so maybe she’s living her childhood life as an adult. She chooses a wig that she thinks looks like a cross between Marie Antoinette and Elvira. She says, her first alter-ego was Rosie, who had a bowl haircut. She asks can she hide things in the wig, and the clerk is like, um… GG joins her, and says she didn’t recognize Destiney, who’s now a blonde. GG says she’s never worn a wig, and Destiney thinks she should try some on. She does, and says it feels like she’s wearing a helmet. She broaches the subject of the cooking competition, and Destiney says, it was intense. GG says she was irritated, and has been seeing a different Destiney than the one she met. Destiney was all about woman power and loyalty. Destiney says if she’d slept with GG’s brother, she would have talked to her first. GG says, maybe that’s why Sara is hurt, and they should have a conversation. In Destiney’s interview, she can’t understand why she’s pissed everyone off. Frankly, me neither.

Reza goes to a fancy jewelry store, and picks up a $95K Rolex. Nema joins him, and Reza says it brings a tear to his eye that Nema is getting his first Rolex. In Nema’s interview, he says, if you’re in the market for gold, a Rolex, or rubies, get a Reza. Nema’s life goal is to connect with his Persian culture. The next step in the evolution of his Persianity, is a gold Rolex. It goes gold, Rolex, Bentley, He says Reza is bougie when it comes to his Rolexes, and he and Nema’s tastes don’t line up. Nema picks out a simple $6500 watch, and the clerk congratulates him.

Mike puts together a wagon for Paulina’s kids. In his interview, he says he never thought he’d be with a woman who had children, and he wants to be with Paulina for the rest of his life. He wonders what he’s doing sometimes, and if he’s ready to be a stepdad. What Nema said, affected his thoughts, and it runs in his head non-stop. We flash back to Nema telling Mike that he doesn’t think Mike is ready to be a stepdad. Nema doesn’t get that Paulina knows Mikes strengths and weaknesses. He shares his insecurities with her, and he’s sure she knows he’s not perfect, but because she loves him, she sees he’s attempting to do it, and gives him a pass.

Nema meets MJ for lunch. He says she looks amazing, and she compliments his white teeth. He says it’s hard to see what happened to her and Reza. She says Reza claims she meddled in his marriage, and Nema says, instead of going to Reza directly about Adam, she went to Destiney; then Ali got involved. MJ says she had nothing to do with it. Nema says that’s huge difference from what Destiney is saying, that she was at the start of this. It makes her look like a homewrecker. Like she was bored in her hospital room, wondering how to eff up Reza’s life. She says she’s sure she wasn’t bored. Nema doesn’t want the perception of her to be like that, and she says that’s not her problem. It’s coming from people who are riddled with fear, jealousy, and lies. In Nema’s interview, he says both MJ and Reza like to meddle in other people’s drama constantly. We flash back to MJ and Reza springing Shalom on GG in the middle of a public event, and telling Jessica about Mike cheating. Nema tells MJ about Sara’s pool party that’s coming up. In his interview, he says, at the end of the day, Reza and MJ are better together. He tells MJ that she can come as his plus one. Thirty years of friendship is worth a conversation. She says she’ll think about it.

Destiney aka Veronica, who has shoulder length kind of blue hair, meets Sara at a restaurant. Destiney tells Sara that she wanted to go over some things. She did get Sara’s text about the party, and Sara says she hopes Destiney comes. Destiney thinks it would be super weird if she goes before they have a conversation. Sara says she’s not concerned that Destiney hooked up with her brother; it’s just awkward, since it’s not like a real love connection. Sam and Destiney are at different places in their lives. She wonders why Destiney is even talking to Sam. In Destiney’s interview, she says Sara can tell her this all day, but aren’t they all adults? Destiney says they’re planning on seeing each other again, and Sara doesn’t understand what she wants. Destiney says nobody is going to tell her how to navigate anything in her life. In Sara’s interview, she says when she and Destiney met, it was awkward. Now Destiney is hooking up with her brother. Sara says Destiney wanted to meet up to talk more sh*t, and it takes the soul and energy out of her. (I’ll have to remember that one.) Destiney doesn’t understand why Sara feels that way. Sara says she wants Destiney to come tomorrow, but doesn’t have the energy to care more. As she’s leaving, Sara says her brother won’t be there.

Adam tells Reza that he doesn’t know how to play Monopoly. Reza says, the game was made for Persians, and helps make you more successful in life. In Reza’s interview, he says he and Adam are doing better. We flash back to Reza confronting Adam about strip Jenga, and the inappropriate texts. Because Sara is having a pool party, he called a tanning guy to come and spray him and Destiney. He asks Adam if he wants one, and Adam says he’s in. Destiney joins them, and Reza asks what happened when she met with Sara. He knows she feels hurt. Destiney says she doesn’t hook up randomly, but doesn’t regret it. She and Sara had a powwow, and she tried to tell herself to understand, since she doesn’t have a brother. Reza says he wants details. WTF did she say? She says Sara wasn’t okay with it, and didn’t realize they were going to continue seeing each other. Reza says, she thought he was just going to hit it. Destiney doesn’t want it to be uncomfortable at the party. Spray tan specialist Robby arrives, asking, are they excited for tans or what? reminding me of a substitute dance teacher I had once. Reza wants to get alarmingly tan. Robby drops pearls of wisdom like, once you go Persian, there’s no other version, and the key to a good tan is drying as you go. In Reza’s interview, he says the spray tanning makes him sad because it reminds him of MJ. We flash back to when they got tans together. Robby says, the tanning has come to an end, and Reza says, he feels like he had a three-way. In his interview, he says he never imagined that on the day MJ give birth, she’d be thinking of coming at his marriage. It makes him feel sad.

Sara gets the house ready for the party, while friend Benny helps out. The DJ sets up, the food comes, and floaties are put in the pool. I’m ready.

Nema gets ready. In his interview, he says he’s the product of divorced parents. He’s had two separate Christmases his entire life. Awkward or not, he’s bringing MJ. All he’s asking is that she and Reza talk. If they talk, and still can’t move forward, at least he’ll know he tried.

MJ meets Nema at his place. Tommy brings in Shams, and Nema says they must be on cloud nine. In MJ’s interview, she says, what really mattered was her best friend of thirty years should have been there.

GG says she hired muscle, in case someone decides they want to step up to her. She’s more familiar with getting into a fight, and might forget what she’s going through, since it’s brand new. Destiney is a blonde, and GG’s bodyguard introduces himself as C. Destiney tells GG that she’s Cynthia today, and in GG’s interview, she says, fashion is expression, so let it be.

Sara loves the set-up, and thinks the bartenders might need to take a drink, since her friends are a lot. Destiney makes GG go in first, and Destiney walks in on C’s arm. In Sara’s interview, she says, Destiney is always like, look at me. Reza and Adam arrive, and GG attacks the food. Mike and Paulina come in, and Mike thinks Destiney looks like a character from Mod Squad. Destiney keeps getting her heels stuck in the deck, and GG says, maybe Cynthia isn’t feeling it today.

In the car, Nema tells MJ to absolve Reza, since he’s coming from place of hurt. He helps MJ put on her necklace, and says she has too much hair. She tells him, she has too much weave.

Adam jumps in the pool, trying to land on a floatie. Nema says he brought a friend, and Reza says he’s leaving. GG says she’s going too, and Reza says he’s not at a place where he’s ready to talk. The betrayal is in his heart, and he needs time to process sh*t. Nema tells him, don’t leave, and follows him, saying, a thirty-year friendship. Reza says Nema could have texted him. Nema says MJ has a different perspective; hear her out. GG asks how Nema could do that, and not tell anyone, and he says he wants to be peacemaker. She says ambushing people isn’t peaceful. At the party, MJ says Reza ran like a bitch. In MJ’s interview, she says, how dare he? Where does he think he’s going? And after she’s been loyal for thirty years.

Mike tells MJ that she should engage with Reza. Ali is the problem. MJ says she almost died, but she should go away? This had nothing to do with her. Out by the cars, GG says, MJ isn’t a good person. She’s screwed everyone who’s good to her. What did Adam ever do in all this? Nema asks Mike to convince MJ to come down. In Mike’s interview, he says he sees the issue from both sides. They need a therapist or a mediator. MJ tells Destiney, she can’t blame other people who aren’t there to defend themselves. Destiney told them that MJ told her to bring up Adam’s cheating. Destiney tells MJ, she never said that. She had lunch with Reza and Ali, and Ali brought it up. What motive would she have to say MJ told her to do that? MJ says she chooses not to believe Destiney, and Mike says, it’s too many years of friendship to waste on a possible rumor. In Mike’s interview, he says a sliver of him thinks maybe Reza is in such a dark place, because he didn’t have his friend of thirty years to confide in. He hopes they connect, and make sense of this craziness.

Reza goes back to the party, and MJ tells him to get away from her. Destiney says, it’s a thirty year friendship (should have done a drinking game with that one). MJ tells her, STFU, and Reza asks if MJ isn’t embarrassed. MJ tells him to go back to his stupid husband. They can cheat on each other, and go to the bathhouse. I’m not even sure if there are still any of those around. I think the last one in NYC closed recently. If you haven’t guessed, I’m a font of useless information.

It gets kind of chaotic, and by now, everyone has noticed, and is like, WTF? Destiney says she never lied, and MJ throws a drink in Reza’s face. He asks if she isn’t embarrassed, and now Sara says, WTF is going on? Reza says MJ has no shame, and she tells him, STFU, which is obviously her go-to phrase. Adam gets into the mix, and Reza tells MJ to screw herself. Go home and watch her baby. Why is she even there? Mike says it’s all he can do not to slap the sh*t out of Reza; WTF is he thinking? He’s talking to a woman.

MJ says Adam’s cheating has nothing to do with her. Reza says no wonder MJ’s uterus exploded, since she’s had ten abortions. I literally gasp, and say, nooo. I can’t believe he said something like that, and in the middle of a crowded party. Destiney says, enough is enough. Stop. Mike asks WTF Reza thinks he’s doing, and Reza says, f*** you people. He takes a binder out of a car (MJ’s?) and throws the contents up in the air, and the papers rain down. MJ says he’s an effing liar, and Mike goes after Reza.

Next time. Mike says it’s going to get messy, Tommy trashes Reza’s patio, Tommy says he broke a plant when he wanted to break Reza’s legs, GG says it’s the most agonizing twelve days of her life, and Reza tells Nema to butt out.

🎩 Pinkies Up For Round Two…

You can’t keep a good dowager down.

https://guestofaguest.com/london/movies/the-downtown-abbey-movie-is-getting-a-sequel

📸 Replacing Alcohol With Shade…

It’s hard to pick a side when everyone is behaving badly.

https://betches.com/lala-kent-is-feuding-with-tom-sandoval-ariana-madix-on-instagram/

👗 Worldly Beauties…

Westworld’s red carpet.

https://pagesix.com/2020/03/06/the-best-looks-from-the-westworld-season-3-premiere-red-carpet/

💍 In All That’s 90…

Alexei to the rescue. I’m sure Loren must be very proud.

https://extratv.com/videos/wezlof5n-si/?adid=extra_eme_27410_2020-03-04_features2

🤒 Going Viral…

Just so you know, the only Corona you’ll find here, is beer.

🎙 Quotes of the Week

Sometimes it’s easy to lose faith in people. And sometimes one act of kindness is all it takes to give you hope again. – Randa Abdel-Fattah

It is our wounds that create in us a desire to reach for miracles. – Jocelyn Soriano

When the whole world is silent, even one voice becomes powerful. – Malala Yousafzai

Until you step into the unknown, you don’t know what you’re made of. – Roy T. Bennett

When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed. – Maya Angelou

Anger, it’s a paralyzing emotion, you can’t get anything done. – Toni Morrison

The first method for estimating the intelligence of a ruler is to look at the men he has around him. – Niccolò Machiavelli

We are healthy only to the extent that our ideas are humane. – Kurt Vonnegut

Health is the greatest possession. Contentment is the greatest treasure. Confidence is the greatest friend. – Lao Tzu

The great Western disease is, ‘I’ll be happy when… When I get the money. When I get a BMW. When I get this job.’ Well, the reality is, you never get to when. The only way to find happiness is to understand that happiness is not out there. It’s in here. And happiness is not next week. It’s now. – Marshall Goldsmith, American Author

🎪 No Surprise…

Of course this week would end with Friday the 13^th.  See you in the Dead zone.