Tag Archives: Real Housewives

February 7, 2017 – Hospital Upheaval, Benny Finds Candace, the Wives Go to Mexico & Caroline #1 Leaves for Dubai

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Julian tells Olivia-J that she’ll have GH and to lay off his family. She says, we’ll see. Curtis and Jason hear him say no more threats and call her his sister. Jason takes a picture, thinking it might be Ava, since all he can see is blonde hair. Olivia says Julian has no reason to fear her – as long as he gets her General Hospital.

Elizabeth catches up with Felix at the hospital. He tells her that Franco was brave, and everyone was surprised. She says people don’t know him, and he’s a good guy if given a chance. Felix says she brings out the best in him.

Michael wants to make sure the numbers are correct. Hayden says she doesn’t want to fire anyone either, and appreciates him being objective. Amy 2.0 horns in on the conversation.

Nina comes into the office rattling off the million things they have to do. She realizes she’s talking to no one, because Maxie is still at her desk. She asks Maxie if there’s a problem, and Maxie says that Nina and her husband are keeping her best friend away from her daughter.

Alexis meets with Dante and Lulu, reminding them that she can only consult, since she doesn’t have her license back yet. Lulu says they’re more than prepared to fight Valentin.

Carly is happy that Morgan’s foundation has now been set up. Sonny wants Morgan’s spirit to live on. While they’re talking, Nelle plants the brand spankin’ new bra in Sonny’s bed. I’ll say it again that I think a woman would be able to tell that it’s an unworn garment. (Off topic <sort of> advice: When you buy new clothes, give them a wash before wearing them. It gets rid of some of the chemicals used in manufacturing. This goes for linens too.) And what if Sonny finds it? He’ll be like wth? and ask Carly if it’s hers, confusing everyone. And isn’t there a cleaning lady? Nelle slides the bra into a place where it would never fall naturally. She gets the forms and goes back downstairs.

Carly talks to Sonny about Michael being on the hospital board now, and how he has enough responsibility. Nelle gives her the forms. Carly thanks her, and she says they’ve done so much for her, it’s only fair that she finds a way to pay them back.

Nina says Maxie doesn’t know the whole story. She tells Maxie about how Valentin was fine with shared custody, but Lulu isn’t thinking about Charlotte’s feelings, and has already traumatized her. She says Charlotte was in the process of grieving over Claudette, the only mother she’s known, and Lulu looks at her like a piece of property. Nina says only thinking about yourself is no way to raise a child.

Hayden tells Amy II that she and Michael were having a private conversation, and clueless Amy asks about what, making me laugh. Hayden says Michael is on the board now. Amy says she saw the board members come out from their meeting not looking happy, and tries to get information, but Hayden doesn’t budge.

Olivia-J tells Julian that as long as she gets what she wants, she doesn’t care whose blood has to spill, which is totally different from what she said last time. She tells Julian to get a move on. Curtis thinks they should follow him, but Jason says he thinks they’ve gotten all they can for today. Curtis says it sounds like the person responsible for the bomb is Julian’s sister.

Alexis wonders why Valentin waited to file a motion. Lulu says he suggested shared custody, but she refused because a man like that has no place in a child’s life. She tells Alexis that Charlotte hasn’t warmed up to her because she’s been too pushy and made mistakes. She’s had to accept that Charlotte loves Valentin, and she tried to approach him later about sharing custody, but he refused. She explains what happened when she revealed to Charlotte that she was her real mother.

Maxie says it’s possible Lulu mishandled things. Nina says Valentin is Charlotte’s father. He gives her stability, she adores him, and it’s what’s best for her. Maxie thinks compromise is the best solution. Nina says Valentin wanted to compromise, but Lulu messed it up, and now Charlotte wants nothing to do with her. Nina says she backs Valentin completely, and Maxie says she backs Lulu completely. Nina says they’ll have to agree to disagree, and not talk about anything regarding Charlotte. Maxie says she doesn’t know if that’s possible. Nina says they shouldn’t let their disagreement ruin anything at Crimson. Maxie says she’ll try. What’s up with Maxie’s hair? It looks flat with lowlights that look like roots that have grown out. It’s just awful.

Nina speaks with someone on the phone. She says Charlotte is coming to the office, because the nanny has a family emergency.

Elizabeth asks Amy what’s wrong, and she tells her to ask her sister Hayden. Hayden and Michael agree on paring down the hospital staff. Hayden says it’s better than no hospital at all.

Jason doesn’t think that anyone saw them, and says that something doesn’t add up. He can’t figure out why Ava would meet Julian secretly, and says it makes no sense. Curtis rattles off the info they have, and thinks it’s clear cut that it’s Ava. He wonders if they should continue trying to get evidence or tell Sonny.

Carly tells Sonny she would have stopped by to see him anyway. She says she’d be there every day, but Josslyn isn’t ready, and thanks him for understanding. He says once Jason finds out who’s calling the shots with Julian, he’ll be fine. They talk about the future.

Lulu tells Alexis that Valentin is going to tell the court that Charlotte is scared of her. Alexis says the court is going to hear the circumstances of her birth, and how there was a surrogate without Lulu’s knowledge. Lulu wonders if there’s a chance of getting full custody.

Nina brings Charlotte into the office. She tells Charlotte she can help pick out accessories for the magazine.

Hayden tells Elizabeth that she heard what happened, and asks how she is. Elizabeth says she would be better if she knew her job was safe. She asks if they’re cutting employees, and Hayden tells her they are. Elizabeth goes on about how they’re people not numbers on a balance sheet, and wonders how Hayden can sleep at night. She asks if she’s going to be fired too, and storms off. Really? How old is Elizabeth that she doesn’t understand that the hospital is in trouble and on the verge of closing if something isn’t done? It wasn’t that long ago when they actually did close, and she thought she was going to have to get a job elsewhere. I guess that fall down the stairs gave her some short-term memory loss.

Just as Carly and Sonny are headed upstairs, Jason arrives. Sonny asks if he has any information.

Hayden follows Elizabeth, telling her that her job is to get the hospital out of debt. Elizabeth reminds her that she threatened to fire her once. Hayden says that was before their relationship changed, and that the board ultimately decides what to do. Amy Part Two pops in, and adds fuel to the fire. Hayden says it might be the only way to save the hospital as a whole. Felix jumps in next, and she tells him that the hospital could close if they don’t save money. She doesn’t want anything to change either, but if they don’t do something, a building that once saved lives will be an empty shell waiting to be turned into condos.

Nina and Charlotte look at accessory pictures. A new advertiser calls, and insists on talking to Nina. While she talks on the phone, Maxie tries to make small talk with Charlotte. Nina tells Maxie that she needs to meet with the advertiser immediately or they’ll pull their ads. Maxie offers to watch Charlotte. Not sure why any advertiser would require a face-to-face meeting, and obviously Maxie watching Charlotte is going to turn out badly.

Michael comes to the bar and sees Nelle. She asks if he wants to join her for coffee, but he says he wouldn’t be the best company. She asks what’s wrong, and he tells her about the budget cuts, and that people are going to lose their jobs. He says the hospital is so far in the red, it might even be too late to save it. She asks why he thinks it’s up to him.

Alexis brings up how fast Valentin married Nina. Lulu says he only married her for show, and Alexis says the court might consider that. She tells them from now until the trial, they’re not to see Charlotte without Valentin’s permission. They have to look like they have Charlotte’s best interest at heart. Alexis has to leave and runs into Julian in the hallway.

Jason tells Sonny that they have some new leads, but nothing concrete. Carly figures they want privacy. Before she leaves, she makes them promise to tell her who it is that killed Morgan when they find out. Sonny asks Jason if the equipment worked, and Jason says not as well as they’d hoped. Sonny asks if they found out who’s responsible, and to tell him right now.

Julian tells Alexis he’s meeting someone. She says he looks tired, and asks if everything is all right. He says he just came from a trying meeting. She says she’s going to one now, but at least they have doughnuts. She says she doesn’t like doing things in groups, but she’s an alcoholic, and her sponsor encouraged her to go. Julian flashes back to Olivia-J. Alexis says that Olivia is keeping her on track without the catch phrases or new age stuff. Hmm… As I’ve already pointed out, Olivia uses a lot of catch phrases, and AA is hardly new age. Honestly, they need an AA adviser here.

Jason tells Sonny that it’s a woman, but he couldn’t see her face. Sonny asks if they got something from the mic. Jason explains about the music and how everything was muffled. Sonny asks if they found anything to identify her, and Jason says they’re close. Sonny has the feeling he’s leaving something out.

Michael tells Nelle that he’s been fortunate and wanted to give back. Nelle says she wishes she could help people, but has no disposable income. Michael says she nurtured the kids in her classes as a teacher, and she’s one of the most decent people he knows. He says she doesn’t need to have money to help the less fortunate. Carly comes out with flowers that were delivered for Nelle.

Julian says he hopes Alexis’s meeting is helpful. He sits down with Gray. Gray tells him that the hospital asked for an extension, and he had no choice but to go along with it. Julian was laid up, and he couldn’t discuss it with him. Julian says he needs the hospital sooner rather than later.

Hayden looks on the computer, hoping she missed something. She wonders what she could cut that won’t lose jobs.

Felix says they’re short-staffed already. He says first they call the union rep, and then the real work begins. They’re going to fight back. I’m not sure how you fight something that hasn’t even been established yet. He must be taking lessons from…oh, never mind.

Nina says she’ll be back in two hours tops, and if Charlotte needs anything, to call.

Dante tells Lulu that it’s going to be hard, but in the end, it will be worth it. He leaves, and Lulu gets a call from Maxie. Maxie tells her that it’s urgent she come to Crimson.

Julian tells Gray that the hospital is on its last legs. Gray says they’re implementing some cost cutting measures. Julian says do whatever he has to, just get it done. Gray says Julian isn’t going to be popular if the deal goes through. Julian says that’s the least of his problems. He calls Olivia-J and says its being worked on. She says her patience is wearing thin, but he tells her that he’ll make sure she gets what she wants.

Nelle excuses herself. Carly tells Michael the flowers must be from the mystery guy. He says not so mysterious anymore, and tells her about Josslyn looking at the card. Carly says he should have stopped her, but what did it say? Ha-ha! Michael says it was signed with the initial S. Oh yeah, mystery totally solved.

Sonny tells Jason that whatever he has, he’s ready to hear it. Jason says they know where the meetings are held, but nothing else is for sure. Jason sneaks out the back. Sonny calls Brick. He asks about the remote feed, and tells him to bring it over

Tomorrow, Sam thinks something is wrong with the baby, Curtis meets with Ava, and Brick brings the feed to Sonny (and I don’t mean take-out from The Floating Rib).

The Haves and the Have Nots

Veronica asks Erica what’s the matter, and if she doesn’t like the flowers. She introduces herself, and David tells Erica to put Veronica on the phone. He tells Veronica to walk away, and she says she doesn’t think so. She asks how much Erica is charging him, and asks Erica where she can find Erica’s pimp. David tells Veronica to leave her alone, but she says she won’t go quietly into that great night. David says if she needs to speak to him, fine, but leave Erica out of it. Veronica asks him how long it’s been going on. She realizes he’s not going to answer her questions, and hangs up. She walks into Erica’s room.

Erica tells Veronica to leave. Veronica asks how old she is. Erica says not as old as she is, and tells her to leave again. Veronica asks what her name is, and Erica calls hotel security. Veronica asks again who her pimp is, listing a few – because she knows everything and everybody – and asking if it’s one of them. She says she’ll find out, and Erica won’t have her husband. Erica says they’re divorced, and Veronica holds up her ring hand, showing Erica her massive wedding ring set. Erica tells her that’s what she heard, and Veronica says she heard wrong. Erica claims she saw the papers, since she does research on the men she sleeps with. David calls Erica, telling her to stay on the phone with him until security gets there, and that she doesn’t know who she’s dealing with. She says she can handle it, and hangs up.

Erica asks Veronica what she wants. Veronica says she wanted to get a look at her, and introduces herself again. She asks how long this has been going on, and Erica tells her to get the hell out. Veronica says Erica must be from Florida, and tells her that she should really wear sunscreen. Ouch! She says people from Florida know how to batten down the house when a hurricane comes. She tells Erica that a hurricane is coming, and her name is Veronica, and when this bitch hits, it destroys everything you’ve ever known. She says it’s unfortunate that Erica is pretty, since it’s easier for an unattractive woman to lose her looks. Security comes, and Veronica says she was just leaving.

Jeffrey asks how long he and Candace are going to sit at the hotel. She says she’s waiting, but she doesn’t know for what. He wonders what Veronica is doing, and Candace thinks she went to the house to challenge the warrant. Candace’s phone keeps ringing. It’s Benny, but she says she can’t face him right now. Jeffrey doesn’t want to know, and then asks what she did. She tells him about the mortgage. He says she’s just like his mom; she uses people to get what she needs. She says she didn’t use Benny, she did something good for him. She points out that Jeffrey is using Justin. Jeffrey says he never threatened Justin (um…he did), but she says you don’t need to threaten someone to use them. She says he’s fallen in love with Justin, and Justin likes him. She says she told him to get close, but not to fall in love. He says he didn’t, and she says good, because it only gets in the way. Jeffrey insists that he doesn’t love Justin. She says they like each other then. She tells Jeffrey that Justin could go to jail for what he’s doing. Candace’s phone rings again. Candace claims that Jeffrey wants to see her upset, and he says sociopaths don’t get upset. She tells him to go to hell.

Oscar comes over to the table. Candace tells him to get away from her. Oscar tells Jeffrey to get lost. Candace tells him don’t you dare, but he moves to another table. A guy comes in with an entourage, and Oscar says that’s his man; he’s favored for the presidential election. Oscar needs a way in, and Candace is the guy’s type. He shows her a picture of the mark’s late wife, and says he’ll get the sympathy vote. Candace yells at him to get away from her, attracting attention, and he goes back to the bar.

Jeffrey calls Justin. Justin says he’ll meet him at the hotel, and to get a room. Candace asks Jeffrey if he’s getting a room, and Jeffrey asks if she’s getting her phone. This time, it’s Erica. Erica tells her about Veronica. She’s at the same hotel, and Erica tells her to come up to the room. Erica calls David, and tells him it’s fine, and he can make it up to her by taking her out to dinner.

Candace arrives at Erica’s room. She wonders if Veronica is having Erica followed, and tells her Veronica is crazy and to watch out for her. Erica asks if Candace has heard from War, but she says no. Candace asks what happened with Veronica, and Erica says they only traded insults. Candace tells her about losing the house, and that the police took all of the money she had hidden. Erica asks her what’s going on.

Candace tells Erica about killing Quincy and burying him in the backyard. Erica says that’s crazy, and asks why Candace didn’t tell her. Candace says she thought about it, but the police have found the body, so who knows how long she’ll be free. Benny calls again. Erica says it could be important, so Candace answers. She tells Benny she’s sorry she didn’t come, and tells him she’s at the hotel. He says he’s coming there, and she says she’ll be in the lobby. Erica says he sounds mad. Candace says she’ll call Erica later. A little slow moving today, although some good character development.

Wyatt wakes up. Quita and guy-she’s-hanging-out-with are in his place. Wyatt is feeling sick, and says he needs something. Dude says he’s got something, and Wyatt begs. Quita looks around, and asks Wyatt how much money he’s got. He tells her she took everything, but she says he has more in the bank. She tells him they’re staying tonight, and tomorrow they’re going to the bank where he’s going to give them the rest. I don’t think they let you take millions out of the ATM though. She looks around for food, and gives dude Wyatt’s credit card. Wyatt is getting shaky and Quita says he’ll be throwing up soon. While Quita and dude are discussing nonsense, Wyatt gets his tablet. I’m wondering how Wyatt can be sick from withdrawal since he’s been in the hospital and hasn’t had anything for a while, but I guess he’s faking?

Benny finds Candace in the hotel lobby. He doesn’t want to hear it, and wants her to come with him. She says she went to the house to get the money, and the police took it. He starts getting loud. He asks why she didn’t just call him, and she says she didn’t want to disappoint him again. She apologizes, and he wonders how she can let those words come out of her mouth. She tells him that she loves him. He tells her that she’s coming to the hotel to stay with him and Hanna. He tells her that she’s responsible for Hanna’s house burning down, and he was kicked out of his while her son watched. Candace says she’s not going. He says he lost everything because of her. She refuses to go, and says she’s going to take care of herself. He asks where she’s staying, and she says at the hotel right there. He wonders with what money. He says she has nothing, and they’re looking for her car, since the bank owns it. He says that’s why Mitch is in jail, and tells her about Mitch trying to keep his truck. She says she’ll make up for everything, and he says she can’t this time. She tells him that she’s been on her own since she was 17, and it’s going to stay that way. He tells her War is out of jail and looking for her. He’s surprised War isn’t there. A security guy asks if everything is okay. Candace leaves with Benny.

Meanwhile, at the Cryer mansion, Kathryn asks why Jim is still there. He’s watching the news, where they’re talking about DA Jennifer’s disappearance. Kathryn says she wants Jim out. He says this is the FBI, and him being there is her best chance. He tells her that if he leaves her to her own devices, she might do something stupid, and she already created a mess that he had to clean up. She tells him he created the mess a long time ago. He tells her that she thinks every bad thing that’s happened is his fault. She says she doesn’t know why she let it go on for so long after their daughter’s death, and then Wyatt becoming a junkie. Jim tells her to calm down, but she says not until he’s gone. He says he’ll leave under one condition – she talks to Veronica and makes nice with her. Kathryn says she’s never talking to Veronica again. Jim says Veronica needs to think they’re all in this together and they’re on her side. Kathryn says she’ll have the bank foreclose on everything Veronica owns. Jim says if no one talks to Veronica, they’ll have no idea what her next move is, and only she can do this. He says Veronica is a wild card, and they need to control her and this. Kathryn needs to apologize. Kathryn continues to refuse, and Jim says he’ll do it then. She says go ahead, and then she wants him out.

Kathryn leaves the room. Jim sees the news coverage at Candace’s place, and Veronica walking past in the background, like Arklon in Beastmaster 2. Candace isn’t a suspect, but someone of special interest.

Quincy Jr. sees the same thing on the news, and calls Hanna’s attention to it. Hanna tells him to go listen to music. Candace’s picture is on TV, since the police are looking for her. The police are running her license plate number, as well as getting DNA from a bracelet found with Quincy. The cause of death is unknown.

Candace and Benny come in and see the news item about Jennifer. Hanna asks where Candace’s bracelet is.

Next time, David and Erica hook up, Jim tells Veronica not to talk to the cops, and Justin and Jeffrey meet again.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Mauricio is getting ready to leave, while Kyle tussles with her ponytail. Kyle is planning a trip with the other couples to Mexico for the grand opening of Mauricio’s new office. Kyle says she always has guilt when she leaves, whether it’s about the kids or her new show.

Schnooky! Harrison!! GIGGY!!! LisaV is packing for the trip when Eden drops by. Eden is amazed by Lisa’s closet, as we all are. Eden had contacted Lisa, saying she has something important to tell her. They go outside to have tea. Lisa hopes Eden understands her defensiveness when it comes to Kyle.

LisaR comes by Kyle’s store and they talk about Mauricio’s Malibu listing. Lisa likes being supportive of Kyle’s boutique because she loves shopping. She says she and Kim had a nice talk the night before. Kyle hopes it rubs off on Eden.

LisaV asks why Eden is involving herself so much in Kyle and Kim’s business. Eden says she believes Kim is sober, and Lisa wonders why she didn’t tell Kyle that, and where her doubts are coming from. Eden tells her that LisaR thinks Kim isn’t completely sober, and thinks Kyle is an enabler. She tells LisaV that LisaR told her Kim is on the path to destruction, adding that LisaR disappeared the second Eden started talking to Kyle. LisaV says it’s a similar experience to the one she had. In her interview, she wonders if LisaR will end up blaming her for starting something. She asks Eden if it’s okay for her to tell Kyle, since she thinks Kyle has the wrong impression

LisaR tells Kyle that Eden sees her sister and herself in Kyle and Kim, and she didn’t get a chance to fix that. Lisa says she has no idea what Eden really knows, but she’s coming from a good place. Kyle says she’s going to be in a bad place if she doesn’t knock it off.

Dorit and PK meet for lunch. She has the kids with her, and asks Jagger what he’d like for lunch. Like most two years olds, and myself, he says, ice cream. In her interview, she talks about his speech therapy and how they’re making progress. She’s not looking forward to leaving the kids for the trip.

LisaR has to make a trip to NYC before going to Mexico. She and housekeeper Lorena talk about Delilah’s new fashion career. Lisa, Harry, and Amelia are going to watch her in the Tommy Hilfiger show, and then she’s on to Mexico.

Everyone gathers at the airport. Dorit thinks the trip will be daunting,and is glad PK is coming along.

Fastest. Flight. Ever. Erika wants a margarita immediately after getting off the plane. In the limo, the who-owns-pink discussion is brought up. Dorit asks if there’s any decent shopping, and Erika says she’d rather have a burrito.

They get to the rental estate, which is, of course, awesome. In her interview, Kyle asks if it gets any better than this. I answer yes, if all that was in my backyard. She’s glad to have the getaway with Mauricio. Yeah, and how many other people? Mauricio shows everyone their rooms. Erika and Kyle talk about how precious time with the family is when you’re super busy.

In NYC, LisaR shows Delilah a picture of her walking a runway on Harry’s shoulders when she was little, and says it was meant to be. Delilah is very excited that she’ll be doing a show with Gigi Hadid. She practices her walk, and Lisa gives her some tips. Lisa says her own modeling experience was reject modeling, but in her mind she’s a supermodel. She’s also friends with Cindy Crawford, which counts for something.

Instead of Mexico, Eileen goes to therapy. She discusses grieving. In her interview, she says it’s good to have someone objective to talk to who gives you permission to have feelings. Eileen says the family is uncomfortable with her sadness, especially her son Jesse. The therapist asks if she tolerates being sad well, and she says she doesn’t like going to that place. The therapist thinks if she works on being okay with it, it might rub off on the others. Eileen says she thinks not going there keeps her from being present. In her interview, she says it’s a work in progress, and you can’t control how other people see you. That’ a really good point, and I’ll bet it’s a problem many people have.

The ladies go on a trip to the beach. Erika says, God forbid she’s trapped in the mansion all day. LisaV stays on shore, while the others use the Jet Skis. Kyle is super careful, and Dorit pretends to fall asleep. Erika takes a spill, but it’s all good. She was smart not to be wearing her sunglasses. I lost a pair of mine in the ocean.

Camille meets LisaR in NYC. Camille daughter is in a fashion show as well. In her interview, Camille explains how her daughter got the gig. Lisa tells her that Delilah will be doing her walk on the pier. Camille talks about the difficulty she’s had with Kelsey regarding communication about the kids. Lisa says she’s learning the same thing, that she can’t fix anybody else. Somehow this leads to her not wanting to be involved in anyone’s stuff, but going to Mexico anyway. We flash back to one of her altercations with Kim. Camille thinks she should step away from the situation with Eden. Lisa tells Camille that she told Eden that she shouldn’t try to fix everything.

A hermit crab! The gardens at the Mexican estate are gorgeous. Kyle and LisaV take a walk. Lisa tells Kyle about talking to Eden. She tells Kyle about how LisaR doesn’t think Kim is truly sober and she’s near death. Kyle is like, whaaat? We flash back to LisaR’s previous involvement. In her interview, Kyle says that LisaR apologized and had promised not to talk about Kim anymore, and now they’re back where they were. She tells LisaV that she’s the opposite of an enabler. She says just because she doesn’t give out personal details, LisaR is making them up, and no wonder Eden is concerned. Kyle says she spoke to LisaR about Eden inserting herself, and Lisa acted like she didn’t know why. She says just because Kim doesn’t want to be friends with LisaR, it’s no reason to fabricate things about her.

The group gathers for dinner. Mauricio swears he caught the tuna that they’re going to serve. Erika says she loves to fish, and PK says he caught a marlin once. He amends it to watching someone else catch one. I wouldn’t go near one of those. They are mean and I swear carry a vendetta. Kyle asks if Mauricio caught a bull too, and Dorit asks if he grew some vegetables. Kyle says he’s no Harry Hamlin, and talks about how he wanted to hire a handyman when they were broke. #WhatDidHarryDo

Dinner is served. PK says not only did Mauricio catch the biggest tuna, but also the tastiest one. Kyle tells everyone that LisaR is coming tomorrow, and relays what LisaV told her. LisaV says Eden was told that Kim was on the verge of death and that Kyle is an enabler. Dorit says Eden had strong feelings about Kim, and she had wondered why, since she doesn’t really know Kim. Erika wonders why LisaR would start a problem like that. Kyle says possibly because she’s not too smart. Dorit tells them about having smoothies at Eden’s house and how LisaR talked about putting in a Xanax, and pulled out a bag of pills. She adds that Eden said she takes things for anxiety. Erika says Kyle should give LisaR the benefit of the doubt, but Kyle isn’t quite on board with that. Erika feels skeptical, since she doesn’t have all the facts.

Kyle wants to have fun, but says this is really weighing on her. She doesn’t know how to look at LisaR and pretend. She says she can’t ignore her either.

LisaR arrives while everyone is in the pool, eating off of floating tables. It’s obvious that Kyle has something to say.

Next time, Mariachi bands, yachts, sliding down a bannister, a cow, and Kyle confronts LisaR.

😭 ✈ I’m sad to see Ladies of London go. Caroline #1 was a bit of a disappointment. I don’t mind her being emotionless, but she was really unfair to several of the women. I wonder if her move to Dubai has anything to do with it. The problem with being so stoic all the time, is that it has to come out somewhere. Although outwardly, her main concern seems to be not having her makeup guy anymore. I will miss her though, and I’m actually hoping we get to see her in her new surroundings next season. Or perhaps a spin-off show. I wouldn’t mind exploring places in Dubai other than the mall. We did get a glimpse of her new place, which no surprise, is just as amazing as the old one.

Caroline #2’s first English cookbook is going to be published, and she continues to act like the fairy princess I know she is underneath her mortal disguise. Julie’s daughter is off to college, and there were a lot of tears. But she has Mapperton as a consolation prize, so she should buck up. Juliet is now up to 100,000 followers on Instagram, which she feels validates her as a blogger. I’m pretty sure the show didn’t hurt any. There’s huge irony in what she wore to Caroline #1’s going away dinner. It looked like something Edina from Absolutely Fabulous would wear. Maybe it’s LacroixJoan Collins Sophie and her ex finally told the kids they’re getting a divorce. It looks like she and Caroline #1 have mended fences, but not so much her and Adela, although they hugged it out. There wasn’t much Marissa, but she’s looking forward to the family going back to America and eating avocados. I guess they don’t have those across the pond.

The best part? Adela calling Juliet a hideous dwarf in polyester. I don’t know if that outfit is polyester, but apparently Adela has the same opinion of it that I do. And since Juliet basically spoiled the dinner with her nasty comments, she deserves the label.

At the end, Caroline #1 bid us good-by, but said that you never know when the bitch is going to be back.

January 31, 2017 – Tom’s Murder is a Wrap, Candace Beats a Rap, More Partying in Beverly Hills & a Little London

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Jason wants to leave the hospital, but Sam says that’s not okay, and asks why he didn’t tell her he was in the hospital.

Sonny tells Ava that she brought Avery home late. She says she was just about to thank him for letting her tuck Avery in. He says there are other ways to show gratitude, like answering some questions.

Valentin and Nina are hanging out at a gazebo. He tells Nina it’s good to get away from everything, and she asks if that includes Anna.

Laura and Lulu visit Anna, whose house we don’t see enough of. They want to talk to her about Valentin.

Forensics supports Alexis’s statement. Dante tells her she’s free to go. When he leaves, Diane tells her to take a deep breath, and she can go to the bar review with a clear conscience.

Julian comes to the station because Dante wants to talk to him.

Franco remembers where he’s seen the trophies, and says Elizabeth is in trouble. A nurse comes in, and he says he has to talk to the police now.

Seth won’t let Elizabeth leave. He doesn’t want her showing the scrapbook to the police until she knows the truth. Is this dude a new character or is he disposable? I want to know before I invest anything.

Valentin says he didn’t tell Nina that the picture he lost was of Anna. He wanted to leave the past in the past. He explains that they were cadets at the WSB together. Nina asks if he was a spy.

Anna tells Lulu and Laura that she’s given all of the information she has to the police. Laura says she thought the investigation was ongoing, and Lulu asks if she’s found anything new that can help her get custody of Charlotte.

Sam tells Jason that he has lousy judgment when it comes to his own health, and she’ll make those decisions. He tells her that Julian drugged him.

Julian tells Dante that if Franco was kidnapped, he wasn’t involved. Dante laughs, and says he had nothing to do with the deaths of Duke and Carrrlos, and didn’t hold a knife to Alexis’s throat either .

Franco asks the nurse to get Nathan. He says it’s about a case and it’s important. When she leaves, he struggles to extract himself from all the IVs. An intern comes in telling him he needs an MRI. He asks if that means they take the IVs out.

Seth tells Elizabeth that his name is going to be dragged through the mud like Tom’s, and what about his mother? She says he’s not responsible for Tom’s crimes, and there might be something in the book that could be a clue. Seth says he’d believed Tom had cleaned up his act, but he was as sick as ever. When he saw Tom attacking a woman, he knew Tom was never going to stop. Elizabeth is like, whaaat?

Sonny asks Ava how business is with the Jerome organization. She says she’s now a legit art dealer. He says she still hears things, and someone is coming after the Jeromes. She says she thought it was him. She tells Sonny that if someone is putting pressure on the Jerome organization, she doesn’t know who it is.

Jason explains to Sam that Julian wanted him incapacitated for a few hours, and tells her what happened. He says Julian seems genuinely afraid, not just for himself, but for her and Danny.

Julian sees Alexis. Diane says her client has nothing to say. He asks if she confessed, and Diane asks why he cares.

Laura wonders if there’s anything they can use against Valentin in court. Lulu says it doesn’t necessarily have to be something illegal, just something to show he’s an unfit parent. Anna says she has nothing that would have any bearing on the case. She found out that they knew each other years ago.

Valentin tells Nina sorry to disappoint her, but he wasn’t a spy; he was a desk agent. He says they didn’t think he’d be that effective in the field. She says he’s the most capable man she’s ever known, and he says he was different back then.

Seth tells Elizabeth that the woman was almost too drunk to stand, and Tom had a knife. Elizabeth says Seth defended her, but he says she got the knife, dropped it, and ran. He tells Elizabeth that he saw Tom clearly for the first time, as a predator who would keep hunting until he was stopped. He picked up the knife and stabbed Tom until he was dead. Elizabeth says that he was defending all the women Tom ever attacked or would have, and can’t be blamed. He doesn’t deserve to be prosecuted. Seth says he will be, for what he did to Franco.

The intern parks Franco’s wheelchair by the elevator and goes to do an intern thing. Franco gets up and walks out. The nurse tells Nathan that Franco needs to speak with him. The intern is looking for his patient, and when Nathan asks who the patient is, he says Franco.

Valentin tells Nina about having severe scoliosis when he was younger. She says she knew a girl at school who had it and wore a brace. He says he went untreated and became a hunchback. Richard III (he heard me!), Igor, Quasimodo, and him.

Anna tells Laura and Lulu that Valentin was going under another name, but it could have been a legal name change, which wouldn’t help a custody case. Laura asks when she realized she knew him. Anna says there was something in his eyes, but he looked very different back then.

Jason tells Sam that he wants her and Danny to go to a safe house. She thinks that’s extreme, and he says there’s a woman out there who blew up car and nearly killed him and Curtis. Sam wants to stick around until the baby is born, but Jason says they’re vulnerable if they stay in Port Charles. She asks if he’d come too, and he says he has to finish it. He wants Sonny exonerated and them to be safe. Sam says the boss lady could be watching him. Jason suggests making her think he’s given up.

Diane tells Julian that there’s nothing to confess, and tells Alexis not to let this weasel distract her. Alexis wants to talk to Julian for a moment and Diane goes ahead. Alexis tells Julian that she recounted the whole story and realized she never did it. She dropped the knife and ran. Julian says he’s relieved, and asks if she is. She says she’s going to tell Dante everything.

Elizabeth asks Seth what he did to Franco. Seth says this isn’t who he is. Aarrgh! I hate when people say that. It is you; you’re the one who did it. He tells Elizabeth that he’s sorry. He beat Franco senseless and left him in a storage locker, letting the police believe he was the killer. He says his life is over, and Tom destroyed him like he did Elizabeth. Elizabeth says that Tom hurt her, but she survived. She says she has a life for herself and three beautiful sons who need her. She says that Seth doesn’t have to be damaged by Tom, just let her call the police.

Too late. Franco comes in swinging. Elizabeth tells Franco to stop, saying that Seth isn’t even fighting back. Franco asks what Seth was going to do. Seth says he doesn’t know, but he’s not like Tom; he doesn’t get off on hurting women. He confesses that he killed his brother, but can’t say for certain whether he would have come back for Franco. Franco puts his hands around Seth’s neck, and Seth tells Franco to kill him because he deserves it.

Dante gets the hospital records regarding Tom’s employment. Nathan finds Seth’s address, and Dante says they should check it out.

Sonny asks Ava about internal politics, and if anyone died unexpectedly, giving someone else a promotion. Ava can only come up with peons, and says that she and Julian are the last of their generation. All their siblings are dead.

Alexis tells Julian she’s going to confess to the hit and run, but Julian says he’ll claim he remembers who hit him and say it wasn’t her. She asks if he’s still looking for leverage. He says she deserves to be a lawyer again, but she’s not so sure she’s ready.

Jason tells Sam that they have to make sure everyone is in the right place at the right time. Felix comes by (good to see him!) and Sam asks when her dad has physical therapy. Felix says confidentiality rules dictate that he can’t tell her, but gives her details as to where the schedule is.

Laura asks what Anna remembers, but Anna says it was a relatively brief acquaintance. They wonder what happened that Valentin left the WSB. Anna says he was a decent guy back then. Their courses overlapped and they would help each other. She’d regarded him as a friend.

Nina tells Valentin not to call himself a hunchback. He says why, because it’s not politically correct? and I laugh. He explains what he looked like, and tells Nina about how the disease affected his entire body, causing his arm to contract as well. He says there was pity, revulsion, and bullying, but it fueled his anger, and he learned to resolve conflicts with strategy. He went to the library to get away from everyone looking at him, but never really seeing him. He tells Nina that the disease would have eventually affected his heart, but then there was Anna, who changed everything.

Nina asks if Anna encouraged him to get treatment. He says it’s more than just treatment, it’s a painful, dangerous surgery. He tells Nina that Anna inspired him. They helped each other with their schoolwork and they were friends, but when he tried to kiss her, she was disgusted. She didn’t say it in those words, but he knew. Nina says she’s glad he got the surgeries, because it made him tall and strong, and he deserves to be those things. She says she’s known beautiful, gorgeous people who are hideous inside, including Anna, because she can’t see him the way Nina does. Valentin looks for pity and disgust in her eyes, but she says he’ll never find them; he’ll only find how much he means to her. Tears roll down his face as he thanks her, and she thanks him for telling her. They kiss. He suggests they go home, but she says there’s an errand she has to run first.

Anna tells Lulu and Laura that there was a goodness in Valentin when she knew him at the academy, and she sees it when he interacts with Charlotte. She wonders if Lulu can meet him halfway, but Lulu balks at shared custody. Laura says it will give her bonding time while they build their case. Lulu suddenly remembers something she has to do. She thanks Anna, and practically runs out the door.

Laura tells Anna that she has the feeling there’s something Anna isn’t telling her about her time with Valentin. Anna says Valentin is obsessed with something he wants her to pay for, but she doesn’t know what it is. Laura says he’s evil and dangerous, and if he hurts Lulu, she’ll kill him. Now tell us how you really feel.

Alexis tells Julian that she’s been preparing for months, and knows what to say to get her license back, but she doesn’t know how to not stop at a liquor store on the way home. Julian says he supports her, and not because he wants back in her life, but he cares about her, if only as her friend. Diane comes back in and tells Alexis, let’s go.

Sam comes back to Jason’s room. She says Julian has an appointment in a half hour. Jason takes out his phone.

Sonny’s phone rings. He tells Ava so long.

Elizabeth begs Franco not to kill Seth. He lets go. He tells Elizabeth that he thought he had a gift of entitlement that allowed him to decide who lives and dies, but he doesn’t want to be that guy because of her. Nathan, Dante, and a random officer bust in. France says good thing they’re here, and they found the right guy

On the phone, Jason asks if there’s any way they can come to the hospital. He could use a visit from an old friend. I’m assuming he’s talking to Sonny.

Alexis tells Diane that she doesn’t want her license back yet. She needs to wait until she’s ready, and she’s not there. She wants to tell the committee, but Diane says she’ll tell them that Alexis is writing a novel. Julian offers to drive Alexis back, but Alexis says no. He tells her that he’s proud of her. Like she cares.

Anna has a headache. She finds Valentin’s WSB records in her inbox. The doorbell rings. I’ll bet I know who it is. It’s Nina, who walks right in, breezing past Anna. She asks what Anna wants with her husband.

Lulu meets Valentin at The Floating Rib. She says they need to talk about their daughter.

Seth is read his rights. Dante asks Elizabeth and Franco to come to the station, but Elizabeth says Franco needs to go back to the hospital. Franco asks if he has to go, and Elizabeth says yes. He needs medical care and she knows an excellent nurse. They kiss.

Tomorrow, Nina asks Anna why she’s obsessed with Valentin, Michael confronts Nell about who she’s seeing, and Lulu wants to come to an agreement with Valentin.

The Haves and the Have Nots

The police dig up Quincy’s body.

Candace and Jeffrey wait for Veronica at the hotel bar. Candace tells Jeffrey she has to see her brother, but Jeffrey insists his mother is coming. Candace thinks someone should shoot Veronica and put them all out of their misery. Jeffrey tells her to calm down. He says she wants him, not Candace, and he’s going to give it to her. Candace says the more he gives, the more she’ll want, adding that she ought to know, as someone who’s blackmailed people. Jeffrey says he’ll marry Melissa if he has to. It doesn’t mean that it has to be a real marriage. Candace thinks he’s out of his mind.

Justin calls Jeffrey pretending he’s calling another cop, and tells him they’ve found a body. They make plans to meet. Jeffrey tells Candace that they found Quincy. I can’t imagine Quincy doesn’t have a million enemies, although burying him the backyard was a poorly thought out idea. Candace wants to jet, but Jeffrey stops her. She says his mother is behind this, and she’s leaving.

Too late. Veronica comes in with a vase of flowers. She goes to the hotel desk and makes up a story about a guy named David leaving them in a taxi, and how they were supposed to be delivered to an Erica. She has no last name, and asks the desk clerk if she can help. The clerk says she’ll check later, but Veronica is insistent, saying that the driver was very upset about it. The clerk calls Erica’s room and tells her there are flowers from a David Harrington. Erica says she’ll come down and get them. Why? is a good question. Wouldn’t you have them bring the flowers up? Veronica thanks the clerk, and goes to meet Jeffrey and Candace.

Veronica makes Candace switch chairs because she wants to face the door. Candace asks what Veronica wants. Veronica says she doesn’t want to be there as much as Candace doesn’t, and makes fun of her pocketbook being a knockoff. She says she’s there to help for Jeffrey’s sake. She wants to know everything about what they did with Quincy. Candace says they didn’t do anything, but Jeffrey tells her that they stabbed him. He doesn’t remember how many times exactly, but goes with over 50 and less than 100. Candace says she’s not doing this, but Veronica tells her to sit back down. She says that over 50 will definitely get them sentenced. Candace says she went to law school, but Veronica says you actually have to read the books, not use them for knee pads. Whoa.

Veronica asks where Quincy was stabbed. Jeffrey says in the back, but he stabbed more than Candace, mentioning that Quincy had beat him, and Veronica says she knows. She says that kind of overkill is only found in rare cases. She wants to know where Candace got the money for the house, and Candace tells her from text book sales. BA-DUM-CHH! She’s not giving Veronica ammunition, but Jeffrey says they’re in this together. Candace says Veronica wants something from Jeffrey, but wonders what she wants from her. Veronica says she’ll figure that out when she knows what she’s dealing with.

Jeffrey says that Jim bought the house. Candace says she got it from Jim, but through banker Lloyd. Veronica says she must have blackmailed Jim again, and wants to know what it was. She says she knows everything about him, but not enough for him to buy her a house. She calls Candace stupid, paying cash for a house when she has no income, but says she likes her. She wants to know what the police will find, and Jeffrey says they buried the body in the backyard. Veronica calls them two geniuses and laughs. Candace says it’s not funny, but Veronica says it is to her. She asks them both to give her a dollar to hire her. She also wants the keys to the house. Candace says the police are already searching, but Veronica says she’s taking possession of the property. Candace thinks they probably changed the locks since the bank foreclosed.

Candace explains about the mortgage and forging the income verification. Veronica nearly falls out of her chair laughing. She tells Candace that Lloyd is in the Cryer’s pocket, and she was hoodwinked. Candace tells Jeffrey that Veronica isn’t going to help them. Veronica says the foreclosure just saved her life, and asks when it happened, before or after they found the body. The light bulb comes on, and Candace asks if she’s sure. Veronica says 100%. She tells Candace to explain it to Jeffrey and leaves.

Candace tells Jeffrey that the search warrant isn’t valid. Whatever they found after the bank took possession is inadmissible. They can’t be charged. Jeffrey asks what that means, and she says it means that bitch is brilliant.

Jim tells Kathryn he did her a favor, and that she’s the one who killed Jennifer. Kathryn says Veronica did it, and he wonders how she got their gun out of their safe. Kathryn says she asked to borrow it, and thought that David was having an affair with Jennifer. He wants to know how she got Jennifer to come over to the house, but Kathryn says she doesn’t know. Jim continues to interrogate her. He says if she gets Kathryn on the stand, she’ll be torn apart. As she answers his questions, he finds fault in each of the answers, and explains why they’re wrong. He says there’s science involved; it’s not guesswork. He asks her what happened, and she says she shot the bitch. He says Jennifer was the DA, a federal officer, and they’re going to be looking for her. Kathryn says she was pushed by him, Jennifer and Veronica. She goes over the list of things she’s told him to do and how he screwed them up. He asks if she feels better.

Jim asks who knew Jennifer was there. Kathryn says just them, and he asks if she’s insane. She says yes, and how about if she shoots him, and says it was a suicide pact between him and Jennifer? She tells him that Jennifer got between her and her only living child. He says he’ll handle it, and she says he’d better. And he’d better get the rugs cleaned. After that, she wants him out.

There’s a knock at Wyatt’s door. Dealer Pete comes in and Wyatt apologizes. Pete says he heard Wyatt overdid it, but it’s cool. They talk about the apartment. Wyatt says it’s great, and Pete asks why he called. Wyatt says he wants some blow, and Pete reminds him that he almost died. Pete says he almost OD’d, and he doesn’t want to be set up for murder. He’s not selling Wyatt any more drugs and suggests he get help. Wyatt says he doesn’t need Pete. Pete says he’s doing Wyatt a favor. Wyatt tells him to get out, shoving him out the door.

Hanna tries to get Benny to eat. She tells Quincy Jr. that they have to register him for school tomorrow, and he’s not too thrilled. She gives him something to read. Benny pushes the food away, saying he’s not hungry. Hanna puts it in the refrigerator like Joan Crawford. She tells Benny she’s looking for a job in the morning, and he might want to do the same. She knows he wants to own his own business, but he needs to save up some money and get another tow yard. He says it’s not easy, and she says no one said it would be.

Benny’s phone rings and it’s Mitch. He tells Benny to find Candace and keep her safe. He says War knows he did it, and he’s coming for Candace. Benny thinks they have time, but Mitch says War got out. He says they’ll catch up when he gets out, and Benny says they’re at the Fountain Drive Hotel.

Benny tells Hanna that Candace is in trouble. War is after her. Hanna asks what he wants with her, and Benny says he thinks she crossed him. Hanna says she practically raised War and he isn’t like that. Benny tells her that War threatened to kill Candace, and Hanna doesn’t realize how dangerous he is. He wants the keys so he can find Candace before War does. Hanna says she doesn’t know where the keys are at, and Quincy Jr. says he was playing with them. She tells him keys are not toys. Hanna is full of cliché remarks tonight. Benny takes the keys and goes.

Quita is sitting on the stoop, and sees a car going back and forth. It’s Wyatt. He says he’s lost and looking for some blow. The guy with Quita asks if he has money, and says he can get him some. Another guy stands on the driver’s side, and the first one pulls out a gun. Wyatt says he just needs a fix. Quita remarks what a nice car it is, and first dude adds that he has money too. Quita says he had money. She asks if that’s all Wyatt has, and he says yes. She says, let’s go where you live and see what you got. The other guy recognizes him as Jim’s son. Quita says they need someone to take him, and he asks them to let him go. Quita gets in the car with the gun and tells him to drive. This just seems stupid.

The clean-up detail is at the Cryer’s house. As soon as they’re done, Jim asks David where Jennifer is, and he says with Mama Rose. He says they’re getting in deep, and this is a big one. Jim says that David and Jennifer were…close. He says it’s all going to come back and visit them, but he’s hoping by then they’ll be really old or really dead. David says they’re going to take the body back to Jennifer’s house and set it on fire. One of the men Jennifer convicted is going to be very unlucky, and will be accused of the crime. He doesn’t like it, but Jim says it’s too late for that. David feels like they keep getting in deeper and deeper. Jim tells him Veronica didn’t do it; Kathryn did. David asks if he’s sure, and Jim says she told him herself, but no matter who did it, they’re in this together. He says they have to keep their heads on straight, and he’s concerned about Veronica. David says she won’t destroy herself. Jim asks about her mental state. David says beyond the delusional paranoia he deals with every day, they’ll have to wait and see. Jim wants David to talk to her, but he says he’s done. Jim says he’ll talk to her then. David says as loyal as he was when he was with Veronica, he’s even more loyal to his commitment to be without her. Jim wonders what it is with these women.

When he gets in the car, David’s phone ring. It’s Erica. He says he’s been busy, but it’s nice to hear a kind voice. She thanks him for the flowers, but he says he didn’t send any. She says they have his name on the card, and he tells her to throw them out, adding to put them outside immediately. While we think for a moment that there must be a bomb or something in them, when Erica opens the door, Veronica is standing there.

Next time, Veronica confronts Erica, Quita kidnaps Wyatt in his own house, and Benny tells Candace that War is looking for her.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

We flash back to the various white parties that Kyle has had. This year, she’s throwing everyone a curveball by having a Great Gatsby party instead. She has gigantic lamps with shades out on the patio that I love. The party planner explains what absinthe is to her, and she’s not too sure she wants to go that far in authenticity when she finds out it can cause hallucinations.

LisaV is on vacation. Even though Kyle is insistent that she be at the party, she doesn’t want to come back. She says she’s in France, but Kyle doesn’t buy it. In her interview, Kyle says she’ll be there, since she loves to make an entrance.

LisaR and Harry are making pies. She’s not sure if they have flour or a rolling pin, and Harry dubs it a disaster. Her cook digs a rolling pin out from somewhere, and manages to extract some flour. In her interview, Lisa says she’s a stranger in her own kitchen. She talks about Harry and Cindy Crawford having a pie bake-off, and finally calling it a draw. Celebrities, they’re just like us!

They’re preparing for the barbecue, and we flash back to Kyle’s idea of a barbecue, which wasn’t very close to an actual barbecue. Eden is all otherworldly looking, and brings them a “love bottle” as a gift. Dorit arrives, dressed down with her hair down. Kyle points out that they do have crystal on the table and bartenders, so it isn’t totally down home. They look across the valley – it’s a fabulous view – where LisaV lives, and Kyle asks if LisaR has binoculars.

LisaR introduces everyone. Her girls are star struck over Erika. Dorit talks to Eden about her annoyance at Kyle, and Eden says she got over it by doing a hundred Pilates classes. Eden thinks that Kim’s behavior at PK’s birthday party was closed off, but Dorit doesn’t want to be talking behind anyone’s back. She suggests that Eden talk to Kyle. In her interview, Dorit says she’s learned her lesson after Pantygate. Eden says she doesn’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable.

Eileen arrives and LisaR startles me by screeching her name. Oh good, Camille is here, but Dorit has to leave. That was fast. Apparently, Kim wasn’t invited. Eileen was glad to have a normal conversation with her the last time they met. She says she hates “icky energy,” which opens the door to Eden speaking her mind. She tells Kyle that Kim wasn’t very nice to her at PK’s party. In her interview, Kyle says Eden is like Groundhog Day. Eden says it wasn’t anything in particular, but Kim was abrasive and kind of rude. In her interview, LisaR is a peeved that Eden is having this conversation in the middle of her party. I would be too. Dog Lulu makes a poopy, which breaks the tension. I don’t ever want to agree with Kim about anything, but I’m thinking I’d want Eden to get off my back too. At one point, Eden talks about Kim’s coldness toward her as red flag behavior, but Kim doesn’t know Eden. Just because she’s sober too, doesn’t mean Kim has to be her best friend.

Kyle asks why it keeps getting brought up, and suggests Eden is inserting herself where she doesn’t belong. In her interview, Erika says that Eden should be more chill. She tells Eden that she shouldn’t have expectations of anyone. Eileen feels uncomfortable talking about Kim. Everyone disappears, leaving Kyle and Eden alone. Kyle says they all need support systems, and at another time they might be friends. She asks if Eden is coming in for a long awkward hug, and she is. Kyle demonstrates the hug in her interview with one of her dogs.

The food looks wonderful! Erika says she is not disappointed. Kyle wonders if she’ll fit in her Gatsby outfit now. The blueberry pie comes out. Erika wonders what Harry can’t do. #WhatDidHarryDo

The next morning, Dorit’s new trainer comes to the house. Dorit wants a toned body, but doesn’t want to work for it. Don’t we all. After the session, she suggests a cocktail.

Erika goes to the CBS studio for her The Young and the Restless audition. She’s a nervous wreck. They’re going to tape it and give it to the writers to create something for her. In her interview, she said the last time she did acting, she was a kid, and we flash back to a teenage dweeby Erika in a scene from some movie I’ve never heard of. In her interview, Eileen says the best thing an actor can do is listen. Truth! The director gives Erika some tips, and she’s good at following direction. She tells them how nervous she is, but you’d never know it.

Kyle chooses jewelry to go with her Gatsby costume. In her interview, she says she views the 20s as all money and glamour. Tell that to the people who stood in soup lines. Eileen wears a dress swiped from Days of Our Lives. Dorit, who stops by to pick up Kyle, is wearing an amazing turquoise faux fur wrap. On the way there, Dorit tells them that Eden called Kyle an enabler. This gets Mauricio’s hackles up, which we don’t see too often.

Erika’s character is gangster moll, and she looks like Jean Harlow. Kyle has everyone pose by an antique car and they take pictures. They’re all wearing wigs so it’s hard to recognize everyone. In her interview, Kyle says she’d like to get to know Eden, but asks if every meeting has to be a therapy session. She thinks she should start charging.

There’s a problem with the heaters. Kyle isn’t happy about a couple of other things, and is a little stressed. Eden interrupts her conversation with Kim, saying that she gets emotional seeing the two of them together, since it reminds her of her and her sister. In her interview, Kyle says she just told Eden to get her nose out of their business, and now it’s way up in there. Kyle tells Eden that she’s not an enabler. In her interview, Eden says that in smoothing things over, Kyle enables Kim. Kyle basically tells her to back off.

LisaR is curious, but rejects Eileen’s suggestion to eavesdrop. Kim says that Eden seems to be looking for trouble, and she doesn’t need that. In her interview, I think Eden is reading way more into this than she needs to, and is projecting like crazy. They talk about Eden saying that Kim attacked LisaR. Kim says the word attack is the wrong choice, and Eden just kind of jumped in there. In her interview, Kim says negative choices bring negative consequences. Eden tries to act like everyone else is talking about it, but she really means LisaR. Part of Eden’s problem is that she thinks one size fits all.

Guess who’s here? She Who Can Do No Wrong. In a gorgeous white antique car. LisaV says she couldn’t let Kyle down because friends support one another. PK talks to Erika about warming up to his wife, and she admits to being a cold fish. She calls herself the c-word, and LisaV nearly chokes.

Eileen and LisaR dance the Charleston. Kim has to leave for a date. Camille says it’s the happiest she’s seen her and she’s in a great place. They talk about how Kim is friends with Brandi now, and we flash back to when Brandi accused her of doing crystal meth in the bathroom. In her interview, Kim says she doesn’t think she’ll ever be friends with Eden.

Port-a-potty hijinks! Eileen tells Kim that everyone is in her corner. In her interview, Kim says that Eileen should call a spade a spade, and sometimes keep her mouth shut. I don’t even have anything to add to that.

Eden tells LisaV that she’s trying to snap out of it. She thinks that Kim got offended, and Kyle backed that up. Lisa says Kyle isn’t an enabler, and she doesn’t think it’s Eden’s business. She tells Eden that they didn’t get off on the wrong foot, and she’s happy about that, but her other foot will kick Eden in the ass if she messes with her friend Kyle. Enough said. I’ll bet Eden crapped her pants.

Next time, a trip to Mexico, LisaR’s daughter does the runway with Gigi Hadid, and LisaV tells Kyle what Eden said.

🗺  Ladies of London mention. Juliet is of Polish descent (her parents moved to the US when she was born), and we got to see some of her roots. Polish is also her first language, and she didn’t learn English until she went to school. This was interesting for me, since I’m Lithuanian – not the same, but close. When I was growing up, we frequently listened to Polish radio stations, and I’m sure kept some of the same traditions. The polka, anyone? Another highlight was Caroline #2’s Midsummer’s Eve celebration. I love Caroline #2 – I’m convinced she’s a fairy princess under a curse where she has to live among mortals. But even though she’s ethereal, she’s tough. She was like, I broke some bamboo and now I’m building a Maypole. Caroline #1 called it a “ridiculous spectacle,” and told us she hates flowers and ribbons, which should be no surprise to anyone. The next episode should be good, when a farewell dinner is given for Caroline #1, and Adela calls Julie a poisonous leper in polyester. It’s also the season finale.

 

January 25, 2017 – Searching for Franco & Random Thoughts

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Curtis tells Jordan that she’s thinking the same thing he’s thinking, and kisses her. They move their kissing to the bed.

Dillon meets Kiki, who says they need his help.

Sam tells Elizabeth that they have to find Franco now. She wants to trace his steps before he disappeared. Elizabeth is puzzled, and asks if Sam talked to Alexis, saying that Sam practically laughed in her face before. Even though Sam doesn’t admit it, Elizabeth can tell she talked to her mother, and asks what Alexis said.

Julian asks Alexis how much of the truth she told Sam. She says she’s the one asking the questions, and wants to know if he did something to Franco.

Franco writes a note asking whoever finds it to contact Elizabeth, but the light keeps going on and off. He slips the note under the door, hoping a good Samaritan will come by.  Where the blip is he?

Jason gets up from the table and falls over. Methinks something was slipped into his coffee. The server yells for someone to call 911, and Tracy runs over and shakes Jason. She asks if he can hear her, and says he’s burning up. He says he’s fine, but she tells him that he just collapsed. She says to wait for the paramedics and suggests calling Sam, but he says no.

Sam tells Elizabeth that they should concentrate on finding Franco. Elizabeth says Sam is still hoping he’s the guilty party.

Kiki fills Dillon in on the Franco situation, and gives him the phone. She says she called around to see if it could be fixed, but every place she called was negative, and just tried to sell her a new phone. Obviously, someone besides me has had a problem with pushy salespeople, since this is the second time they’ve mentioned that. Dillon has an idea. He has a dehumidifier for high tech equipment, and wants to use it to dry out the phone.  He’s not making any promises, but thinks it’s worth a shot.

Alexis reminds Julian that he said he’d do anything to help her. She tells him that Franco has the picture of her and Tom at the bar. Julian doesn’t think anyone would believe him, but Alexis says this time Franco might be right, and if he were to disappear, the police would probably consider the case closed. She asks him where Franco is, but he says he doesn’t know. She asks how she can believe he’s telling her the truth, and he says she can’t.

Franco walks around to keep warm. He talks about food, a cheeseburger and curly fries. He wonders if someone is coming back to finish the job, and looks for a weapon. Well, there are quite a few lamps around; a broken light bulb or a cord might be good. After living in NYC for twenty years, I always know where the closest weapon is. He digs into a box, but it’s only Tupperware. The next box contains trophies. I would think one of those would make pretty good weapon. You could certainly poke somebody’s eye out. Looking at them, he says whoever locked him in there is good at peewee basketball. He picks a trophy out, and uses it to batter the doorknob, but has no luck. Some of the boxes fall on him, and he’s knocked out on the floor again.

Curtis and Jordan start to get busy. She asks what they’re doing, and he wonders if he has to explain. Ha-ha! She tells him it’s wrong. Curtis says what’s been going on between them has been going on for a while, and she needs to be honest. They both felt something strong and passionate, way back when she tried to slap him in the interrogation room. She doesn’t disagree.

Jason is in the hospital, and tells Monica not to call Sam. Monica promises that whatever’s wrong, they’ll fix it.

Julian says unfortunately, Alexis won’t believe anything from him now, and what they had once is gone. Alexis says it’s vanished, and the trust was just an illusion; she was duped by him the entire time. He’s only there because he’s blackmailing her, and she’ll never be taken in by him again. He says he’s telling the truth, and has always put her welfare first, despite how it’s seemed. He says there’s no way to prove it, and things are just what they are. A variation on, it is what it is. He has to go, but it’s not about Franco, and that’s all he’s saying. He tells her not to reach for a drink, but she says it’s taken her this long to get this far. Yeah, a whole two days. He tells her not to go snooping around about Franco. The second he’s gone, she looks up Elizabeth’s number on her phone.

Elizabeth doesn’t want to share much because Sam wants Franco to be guilty. Sam says there’s a warrant out for his arrest, but Elizabeth says Sam obviously has her own agenda.

Monica hopes the bloodwork will give them some answers. Tracy says that Jason was on the floor when she arrived, and she has no clue what happened.

Dillon goes to an indoor storage unit. Across the hall from where Franco is. (Ah-ha!) His note is lying on the floor – a floor that is completely bare and clean except for this yellow sheet of paper – but they don’t see it. More boxes fall, and Dillon asks if Kiki heard something, but she says no. Dillon makes a call to a friend, explaining that they’re looking for someone who disappeared, and asks about rebooting the phone if they’re able to dry it out. He wants to write down the instructions, and Kiki picks up Franco’s note to write on. It’s folded in half, but she doesn’t bother opening it to see what it is. This kind of stuff drives me nuts.

Dillon gives Kiki the instructions. He looks over what she’s written, and we can totally see through the paper to Franco’s writing. Dillon tells Kiki it’s worth a shot, and she says it’s not like they have other leads. Dillon goes into the unit to get the dehumidifier.

Jordan tells Curtis that she’s with Andre, but Curtis says deep down, she trusts him more. Andre didn’t want her to come to Baltimore with him, but she’s here. She says she’s just there because of the case. She says she was going through a confusing time, and he needs to get over himself.

Sam says that she’ll pursue this with or without Elizabeth, and asks if she’s on board or not. Elizabeth says she knows that Sam has an ugly history with Franco and legitimate reasons to hate him, but she can’t let the past influence how she treats him in this investigation. Sam says she can’t make any promises, and goes over what Franco did to her, saying she only has his word that he didn’t really rape her. Elizabeth says she’s sorry it happened. She understands, because that’s how she feels about Tom, but they have to agree that they’re looking for the truth. Sam is okay with that, as long as Elizabeth is good with whatever they find. They sit, and Elizabeth tells Sam how she found Franco’s phone. She says it had blood on it and it was wet, and Kiki is trying to dry it out.

Elizabeth calls Kiki, and Kiki tells her what she and Dillon are doing. She says she’ll meet Elizabeth at the bar. Dillon and Kiki leave the storage place. Franco hears voices, but can’t function enough to respond.

Monica tells Tracy that Jason’s fever is down and it seems like whatever he has isn’t life threatening. Tracy asks if she’s calling Sam, but Monica wants to wait on that in case it’s contagious. Tracy says she talked to the server. All Jason had was coffee, and he was fine until he collapsed. Monica wonders what brought this on so quickly. I’m a little surprised the server didn’t mention that Jason had company at the table for a while.

Julian is at Jason’s bedside. Jason asks if he’s there to see the results of his work.

Kiki arrives at the bar, and tells Elizabeth that they got the phone dried out. She wonders why Sam is there. She puts two and two together, and asks if the woman Franco suspects is someone she knows.

Alexis’s doorbell rings. It’s Diane. She says Alexis has a meeting with the bar committee tonight, and she’s there for last minute prep. She has Alexis’s statement, and has made some tweaks. She suggests they hammer out any changes. She asks Alexis if something is wrong, and Alexis says she’s just nervous. Diane has an incentive – she’s brought a bottle of wine for when they celebrate. Great.

Jason asks Julian what he slipped in the coffee. Julian says the same thing he gave himself to extend his hospital stay. He tells Jason that Winston was responsible for the car bomb. He was the intended target and Morgan was collateral damage. There was no doubt it would be pinned on Sonny, getting rid of them both. He says that now they don’t just want him and Sonny gone, but Jason and Curtis are also in jeopardy. They’ve been asking too many questions, and people could die. If he keeps going the way he’s going, Sam and his unborn child are at risk.

Sam tells Kiki that she just wants the truth, and Elizabeth says it’s cool. Dillon explains how he dried out the phone. They try to reactivate it. It starts to work, and Elizabeth grabs it.

Jordan tells Curtis his ego is out of whack and always has been. She says she may have felt something physical for him, but she was only attracted to him in that moment, and it means nothing. He says what about this moment; how is she going to explain that to herself?

Alexis tells Diane that the changes she made are astute. Diane says Alexis is an incredible lawyer, and Port Charles needs her expertise. Alexis doesn’t think she’ll practice law again, but Diane says she just has a case of stage fright. She tells Alexis to look at the committee as a jury, except she’s pleading her own case. Alexis thanks Diane for always being on her side. Diane says in a few hours, they’ll be toasting her victory.

The phone is locked. Sam says she’ll call Spinelli, but Elizabeth gets the phone open with JAKE. Dillon tells her how to retrieve the last message. All the messages they find are from Kiki and Elizabeth.

Franco finally gets himself up from the floor. He says some psycho is going to come back and kill him unless he figures something out.

Jason asks if Julian is threatening his family, but Julian says they’re on the same side. He was only getting Jason out of harm’s way. He says the bottom line is that he wants to turn the tables and get rid of them, but he needs Jason’s help. Jason asks who Winston is working for, and why they want him dead.

Jordan tells Curtis they’re here on business, and they’re going to convince Buzz to come back to Port Charles. She tells him again that she’s with Andre, and he says good luck with that. I wonder if he means the same thing I do when I say that – that all the luck in the world isn’t going to help you.

Alexis eyeballs the bottle of wine and puts it in the cupboard. She pretends to get ready, but we know she’s still thinking about it. She takes it back out and gets a glass. Her hand hovers over it with the opener for a second, but then she opens the bottle. No, Alexis! Don’t do it!

Julian asks Jason if he’ll agree to work with him. Jason says he’ll never trust him, but Julian says he doesn’t have a choice, because their lives and the lives of those they love depend on him doing the right thing.

Kiki thinks they’re wasting time. Dillon says Franco could have left on his own or someone took him. He’s brilliant! Sign that guy up for detective work.

Franco wonders how many boxes of useless crap there are. He finds more trophies. He finds one that he’s seen before.

Tomorrow, Carly tells Sonny that she knows something is wrong, Lulu talks to Doc and Laura, and Elizabeth suggests calling the police.

Random Thoughts

🌟 The girls from Star continue to soar, and are on to the next round of the talent contest. Benjamin Bratt continues to get the short end of the stick, and Queen Latifah continues to be awesome and have amazing hairdos.

☎ So much good TV, too little time, and I continue to chase around Too Close to Home. I either forget it’s on or there’s a conflict. (This should be my worst problem.) It’s worth hunting down for Heather Locklear’s wickedness alone, but the story is really good. And of course there’s Brody.

🗽 What happened to Little Women of New York (plus Jason)? I just can’t get into Atlanta, and Dallas seemed like just more of the same, even including some Atlanta girls who moved.

📍 Speaking of Atlanta, this doesn’t happen often, but my hat’s off to Phaedra from The Real Housewives of Atlanta for setting up a camp where the children from Flint, Michigan can go free of charge. She did this after the water crisis there. Portia continues to be ridiculous in looking for a baby daddy, and the more I see her, the more I like Kenya Moore.

💃 Quote from Cyndi Lauper when she was on Watch What Happens Live: Yelling jacks people up, but doesn’t do anything to show your humanity and doesn’t open someone else’s mind. I’m paraphrasing, but close enough. The discussion was about the…um…exchange of ideas that’s been going on lately. Personally, I’d love less shouting. I ditched Little Women of Atlanta over it, but I can’t exactly ditch the world.

January 24, 2017 -Alexis Confesses, Boy George Entertains & Quincy is Unearthed

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Jordan says mm-mm-mm like a secretary I used to work with, and tells Curtis that Buzz’s statement rings true, but that also makes him an accomplice. She says he makes for a compelling witness. Curtis says she has to admit that Sonny had nothing to do with the car bomb.

Michael brings lunch to Sonny. Sonny talks about Diane’s maneuverings, and says it looks good for him, but he still misses Morgan. Carly walks in saying she wants to eat immediately, because there’s nothing worse than cold onion rings. I tend to agree, but overcooked pasta is up there too.

Jason sees Elizabeth at The Floating Rib. They talk for a second and Elizabeth gets involved with her phone. Jason asks if everything is okay. Kiki joins them and asks if he’s there to help them with Franco.

Sam visits Alexis. Alexis asks if Sam wants lunch, but Sam is there to talk in private about something. Julian calls from upstairs asking if Alexis has seen his wallet. Sam asks what the hell he’s doing there.

Carly gives Michael and Sonny some souvenir towels from the airport because she didn’t get a chance to go shopping. She bought one for Morgan too, since she forgot. She tells them that Josslyn was crying in the car when she remembered she wasn’t going to see Morgan, and she “isn’t there yet.” Michael says he’ll talk to her. He feels that she might feel differently if it comes from him instead of her mom. Michael leaves, and Sonny asks Carly what about them?

Jordan heaps praises on Curtis for his solid work, and says it should clear Sonny. She’s concerned that the new DA is more interested with the win of nailing Sonny though. Curtis wants to find out where Winston and the boss lady are hiding. Jordan thinks they should bring Buzz in after convincing him that he’s safe with them, but Curtis says that might take some work. He suggests they chill until his truck is repaired.

Alexis asks to speak to Sam alone. Sam says she’s done trying to understand Julian. He leaves, and Sam says she thought she understood Alexis. She asks why Alexis let Julian back in, and Alexis says he’s blackmailing her. Sam asks for what, and Alexis says she hit him with her car and left him for dead. Nothing like getting right to the point.

Elizabeth tells Jason she can deal with it on her own, and Sam can fill Jason in. She and Kiki sit down, and Jason exits. Kiki apologizes for making an assumption. Elizabeth says she’s used to awkward when it comes to Jason and Franco. She wonders if they should call the police, but Kiki says they have a warrant out for Franco’s arrest. They’re charging him Tom’s murder.

Curtis asks if Jordan minds hanging out or wants him to leave. She says that’s on him, and he thinks he should take off. She says she does have other cases to work on. He says he knows she doesn’t like sitting still, and when he comes back, things will be taken care of.

Alexis tells Sam that it was an accident. Sam tells her leaving the scene is a crime, like she doesn’t know. Alexis says she called 911, but later found out that Julian knew, so she allowed him to convalesce in her house. Sam says it makes sense now, and realizes that Winston was looking for Julian. She asks what else Alexis is lying about. Alexis says she’s been drinking from morning to night for months, and that’s why she hit Julian with the car – she was drunk. She tells Sam that she’s deeply ashamed.

Kiki tells Elizabeth about the knife Franco had bought, and says the police mentioned something bizarre about a dog crate with Tom’s DNA on it. She tells Elizabeth about Tom trying to hit on her, and how she helped lure Tom to the studio. She says Franco told her that he was only going to talk to him. Elizabeth says none of it is her fault. Kiki asks if she knows what happened.

Michael greets Josslyn. She says she didn’t want to come back if it meant living with Sonny. Nell tells her that Carly and Sonny are getting back together. Josslyn says she doesn’t care; he killed Morgan. Michael says Sonny had nothing to do with it, but she says that doesn’t mean he’s innocent; he’s a mobster. Michael says he blamed Sonny too, but it’s easier to be angry than it is to grieve. Good one, Michael. This explains the load of diatribes on Facebook.

Carly says Jax talked Josslyn into coming home, but Josslyn made her agree that she didn’t have to live at Sonny’s. Sonny asks what about her. Carly says as much as she wants to be with him, she’s going to stay with her daughter.

Elizabeth tells Kiki that Franco didn’t kill Tom. Kiki thinks maybe he ran, but Elizabeth tells her about Franco’s car in the parking lot at Gene’s and finding his phone. She thinks something bad happened to him.

Sam says she knew Alexis was in trouble, but didn’t know how to ask, so she ignored it and she’s sorry. Alexis tells her not to be. She has every right to be angry. Alexis tells Sam that she was drunk when she was babysitting Danny. She started going outside of town to drink, but ran into Julian anyway. (Literally!) She says Julian was helping her detox and encouraging her to go to AA, which she did. She’s been sober two days and ironically, has Julian to thank for that.

Jason sees Julian, and tells him that they both know he’s connected with Winston and the boss lady. Julian says it affects all of them, and wants to talk to him.

Michael tells Josslyn it’s hard; the shock and unfairness of losing Morgan is excruciating, but she has to go through it. Morgan wouldn’t want them to be angry and tear the family apart. Josslyn starts to cry.

Carly wants to believe that once Sonny is cleared, the family will have a fresh start. Sonny agrees, but she says what about the day he finds out who’s responsible for Morgan’s death? What happens then?

Curtis brings sweet tea and food back to Jordan from some place they used to frequent. She says all the work they did with Buzz, now the food, it reminds her of old times when they were totally in sync.

Elizabeth tells Kiki that she took the phone to the phone store, but had no luck with drying it out because they were too busy trying to sell her a new phone. Been there. Know that feeling. Kiki asks what about the woman Franco wants to protect, and asks if Elizabeth knows who it might be?

Alexis tells Sam that she went to one meeting and was told she’ll have to start apologizing for what she did. She wants Sam to let her know when she’s ready. Sam says not yet, but she loves and supports her. She says she came over to discuss something Elizabeth said. She thinks Alexis is involved with Tom’s murder and implied that Sam didn’t know Alexis at all. She asks if there’s any truth to that, and Alexis says she may have killed Tom.

Julian tells Jason that Sam showed up at Alexis’s today and discovered him there. Jason is like, I’ll bite, what now? Julian tells him he’s living at Alexis’s house.

Sonny tells Carly he doesn’t know how he’ll feel, but he’s probably going to be furious. At this moment though, he feels that he’s learned a painful lesson about retaliation, and would think twice about it. Carly says it’s not exactly what she wanted to hear, but Sonny says it’s all he’s got. He says on New Year’s Eve they talked about living in the moment, and hopes she didn’t forget that. She says she didn’t. He kisses her. They kiss some more.

Nell tells Josslyn that Michael is right. Bad things happen. It’s scary and random, and sometimes unfair, but horrible things happen to people. Josslyn asks what they’re supposed to do. Nell repeats what Michael told her about being a victim to her anger, and says Josslyn has to move through it to get to the grief. She says Josslyn has a lot of supportive people in her life, including her. She says when she first came to town, Josslyn was happy living with her mom. The Josslyn she sees now isn’t too happy, and maybe it’s something to consider.

Jordan and Curtis joke around about old times. She talks about the stakeouts being tedious, but Curtis says those were some of the best times of his life. He says he could go back to his room and practice mindfulness, or they could continue reminiscing over a game of poker. He pulls out a deck of cards.

Carly wants to check on Josslyn. Sonny doesn’t like saying good-by, and she says she feels the same way, but she has to go. Josslyn comes in with Michael and Nell. Michael says Josslyn has something to tell them. Nell tries to excuse herself, but Michael wants her to stay. Josslyn talks about Morgan teaching her to ride a bike, and how he said it hurts sometimes to be brave, but it hurts more to give up. If she’d given up with the bike, she wouldn’t have learned how to ride and regretted it, so she’s not giving up on Sonny. She hugs him.

Elizabeth says she’s hoping for confirmation soon. Kiki says if this woman killed Tom, what’s to stop her from killing again, but Elizabeth thinks she’s not capable of that. Kiki thinks they should go to the police with the information they have.

Alexis tells Sam about Tom pulling the knife on her, and that she went crazy, but doesn’t remember anything after getting the knife from him. She says the body was found in the alley, so who else could it be? Sam says they would have questioned her if they had any evidence. Alexis says they’re after Franco and he has something on her, and she fully expects the police to come knocking at her door. Sam jets, leaving Alexis to worry about that on her own.

Jason asks Julian what Winston wanted, but Julian says he’s told him what he needs to know. He leaves and Jason sips his coffee. Where’s Valentin today? I miss him. He’s quickly become a favorite of mine.

Sonny thanks Josslyn. She asks if Avery is there, and Sonny tells her that she’s upstairs. Josslyn goes to see her, and Carly thanks Michael. Nell says he’s a great big brother and Michael says she helped. She says she just told the truth that Josslyn has a great stepfather who will always be there for her. Sonny looks grim, and not at all like he just got a compliment.

Curtis tells Jordan that her poker face stinks, and that he called her bluff three times in a row. He says he always know what’s going on behind those curls and beautiful eyelashes. She tells him take it to his girlfriend. He insists on seeing her cards – a pair of twos – and she says she thought she’d take a shot. He says he’s been known to do that too, and kisses her.

Kiki tells Elizabeth that Franco has always been there for her, and she’s going to be there for him and not sit around. She’s going to see what she can do about the phone. They agree on no cops. She tells Elizabeth to stay in touch and leaves. Elizabeth texts Franco again, asking if he talked to his mother.

Julian comes back to Alexis’s place, and asks how it went. Alexis says she told Sam the truth. She says he told her that he’d take care of the Tom situation, and asks how he’s doing that. She asks if he did something to Franco.

Sam sees Elizabeth and says they need to find Franco now.

Jason gets up, but doesn’t look too good. He falls on his face.

Tomorrow, Julian might be behind Franco’s disappearance, Curtis and Jordan get busy, and Tracy tries to revive Jason.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Dorit is having a 49th birthday party for PK. She wants something simple, intimate and elegant, but with pow. Whatever that is. Boy George will be performing, but she wants to keep it a secret from the guests until it’s time for the show. Dorit and PK discuss logistics.

Back in Greece, Erika is debuting her single at 3 am. Kyle talks about branching out from being a wife and mother with her stores, and how she has the TV show in the works. She tells Erika that it’s bringing up a lot of emotions and memories. She talks about her mother bringing her to the set of Little House on the Prairie at the crack of dawn. Erika gives Tom a call, and tells him how glad she is of his love and support. He does seem like a really cool guy.

Eileen and LisaR go rollerblading. Dorit, who’s never done it before, joins them. In her interview, Dorit says if this is what she has to do in order to hit the reset button, so be it, although she’d rather be having a cocktail somewhere. I’ve never rollerbladed either, so my sympathies are with her. I stink on regular roller skates and I’m even worse on ice skates. Lisa says she likes anyone who’s willing to move on. Afterward, Dorit invites the girls to PK’s birthday. She wonders if she should invite Kim. Lisa says it’s cool with her, but she appreciates the heads up. They call Erika to wish her luck.

Erika gets ready for the show. The stage is built on a cliff which is not exactly conducive to stilettos.

Harrison! Eden visits LisaV. The ponies! They’re having tea outside. Giggy! Eden just got done with a 48-hour relationship, which gives us a lot of insight on her character. The guy quit smoking because she didn’t want to date a smoker. Then – how dare he – ate a cheeseburger and immediately afterward, reached for a mint. She told him that he was going after the mint like an after-dinner cigarette, he accused her of having a type-A personality, and she broke things off. At first, I liked her, but I’m having second thoughts now. This is wrong on so many levels. First of all, she shows no appreciation for the guy quitting smoking for her, and then acts like having a mint is all kinds of wrong. The worst part is that she’s an addict herself, but is apparently unforgiving when it comes to other people’s coping mechanisms. And sometimes a mint is just a mint. Maybe he was concerned that he’d have bad breath after the burger. Geez. I think Eden might be a little picky. Lisa and Eden discuss game night. Lisa says Kim is great, even though she’s had aggressive moments with her. In her interview, Eden says her sister died of an overdose, but it wasn’t clear whether or not it was intentional. She says after her dad passed away, she realized she needed to clean up her act. Eden tells Lisa about being highly functioning when she drank. Lisa asks if she’s talked to Kim, and Eden says she has the behavior of a struggling alcoholic. In her interview, Lisa doesn’t understand why just being sober isn’t enough. While I agree it’s good to be involved with a program, especially early on when you have a whole lot of time that used to be taken up by drinking, I think Eden is being a little pushy. Eden thinks Kyle is an enabler, but Lisa says she’s stepped in many times. In her interview, Eden says Kyle is an enabler because she stays silent about the behavior. She tells Lisa that it was like watching her own family, and she’s concerned that Kyle will be standing where she is now – without a sister.

It looks very crowded at Erika’s venue. Kyle joins in the pre-show prayer, which contains words that Kyle has never heard in a prayer before. Erika is wearing thigh-high sparkly boots, and a silver and black leotard with more sparkles. She climbs a long ladder to the top where the stage is. In her interview, she talks about being concerned she’ll get blown off the mountain. She performs Painkiller, and then debuts Expensive.

LisaR visits Eden. Lisa describes Eden’s son, Tyler, as precocious in a good way. He is pretty cute. Dorit arrives next. She’s glad to get away from her own kids for a little while. Eden has never met PK, and wants suggestions for the perfect gift. She gives the girls some kind of aloe drink and makes smoothies. Dorit wants to know if she can put vodka in it. Lisa says she’s never done that, but has put a Xanax in one. Eden says she has too, and in her interview, Dorit questions a sober person taking pills. Lisa pulls out a bag of pills as big as my purse, most of which are supplements. I think.

After-party in Greece! Erika says the sun is rising, but who cares? They take pictures by the pool. Erika makes Kyle put on her swimsuit and they take some photos together.

Dorit has a problem with the party flowers and calls them tragic. She’s also despising the black curtain partition set up for the show. Boy George tries to calm her down.

LisaV calls Kyle, who just got back from Greece. Portia gets on the phone and asks Lisa about the horses. She wants to come to Lisa’s for a sleepover, and Lisa says now that Portia is out of diapers, she’s up for it. Although she can always borrow some from LisaR. Ha-ha!

Not being able to leave anything alone, Dorit tells Erika that her outfit is a step up from the T-shirt dress she wore last time. Dorit introduces the baby to Erika, and the baby is passed around like a football. Dorit claims there was water damage, and that’s why there’s a curtain up. LisaV thinks PK has something “up his little English sleeve” though. In her interview, Dorit says Lisa is too shrewd to pull something over on.

Kim arrives. She has a bum knee, and Eden helps her down the stairs, but Kim can’t even be bothered to say thanks. I’m not sure if Kim is in avoidance mode with Eden because she’s overbearing or because she’s right. Kim talks about Kyle going to Greece, and how much she missed the kids. She says now that she’s having a grandchild, she’s having the same anxieties she had with her own children. In her interview, Eden is concerned she’s going to end up reaching for a drink. Kim thinks Eden is being weird.

Everyone admires Kyle’s Gucci bag. Me too. She shows everybody the pictures from Greece.

Boy George is wearing an interesting tic-tac-toe themed suit with a matching hat. PK introduces Dorit, so she can introduce George. She gives a speech about how great a husband PK is, and wishes him a happy birthday. The curtain is pulled back, and George is ready to rock. Or whatever it is he does. He sings Karma Chameleon and changes to join the party.

In her interview, Eileen says she’ll have to keep an eye on Dorit since she lied so well. Eden makes her exit. Camille remarks how nice she is, and Kim makes a face. Kim tells Kyle about Eden asking her if her anxiety is an issue. Camille thinks she was just being concerned.

Dorit tells LisaV and George about going to Eden’s house, and how LisaR talked about putting Xanax in a smoothie. George wanders away, and Dorit continues to tell LisaV about the bag of pills LisaR pulled out. She says they were mostly supplements, but who knows? I’m sure we’ll be hearing about this until the end of the season, although it’s more interesting than Pantygate.

Next time, LisaR has a barbecue, Erika reads for The Young and the Restless, and a 1920s party happens.

The Haves and the Have Nots

David tells Veronica to put the gun down. She says, oh, look who’s being nice now. He tries to reason with her, but she’s out of her mind, so nothing works. She tells David to put his hands up. And then down. Veronica says she likes it, and tells him to get on his knees. She says he and Kathryn were having an affair, and makes up some fakakta story that she says she can convince a jury with. David says no one else needs to get hurt. She asks if he wants to hurt her, and he says no. She asks why the divorce then, and he says he was trying to protect her from herself, but I’m not sure where the logic is in that. Not that it matters. Veronica asks if he thinks she’s crazy, since he called her a delusional bitch. He says he shouldn’t have, and apologizes. She says it’s too late though, because he embarrassed her.

Veronica asks David if he believes she’d kill him and he says yes. He brings up the time she set the house on fire. She says she wasn’t trying to kill him, she just wanted him to burn a little. Whoa. David says he’s sorry, and that it’s between the two of them; she should let Kathryn go. David’s phone rings and Veronica wants to see who’s calling. He gives her the phone. It’s a missed call from a hotel. Of course Veronica thinks it’s a woman. She calls the number back. It’s Erica. Too bad. I wanted to see Veronica proven wrong. Erica says she was trying to reach David, and Veronica says she’s David’s wife. Erica tells Veronica that she’s a reporter, and wanted to know if David had a comment on a political poll. Veronica says he’s in the shower and intimates that they’d just had sex. Erica says she’d read she was getting a divorce. Veronica says they’re not, and Erica asks for her opinion. Veronica tells her to call on a business line.

Veronica tells David she doesn’t believe that was a reporter. He gets up, and she tells him to get back on his knees. He says he’s not doing it. Veronica tells him that Kathryn planned all of this, and she had nothing to do with it. He wants her to put the gun down, but she says he won’t listen if she does. He says he believes her. Kathryn says it’s not true, and asks if Veronica is going to shoot her too. Veronica doesn’t want to give up the gun, but David tells her to take the clip out, and she does. She gives him the gun. Kathryn says there’s still one in the chamber and he takes it out.

Jim comes in. He’s like, what the hell? Kathryn tells him Veronica did it, and tried to kill her. He asks who is that on his floor, and I laugh. David tells him it’s Jennifer. Kathryn repeats that Veronica did it. Jim has David give him the gun. Kathryn wants to call the police, but Jim doesn’t want to. She says they have to tell the authorities, and he says he is the authorities, and he’s going to let Veronica leave. Veronica says he’s not letting her do anything, because you can’t please her. He reminds her that the DA is dead, and if the Feds stick their nose into this, they’re going to open up a bigger can of worms. Veronica acts like she has nothing to do with it. Jim says maybe, but her hands have been on plenty of knives throughout the years. David tries to stop her, but Jim says let her go. What a mess.

Hearing my thoughts, Jim says they’ll need a clean up the likes of which they’ve never seen before. He asks if David can make the call. David has it, and goes elsewhere to do it. Kathryn can’t believe that Jim let Veronica leave. He says he has a lot on his mind. I’ll bet.

Poor Benny. He’s still on the porch, thinking Candace is coming. Hanna comes out, and tells him she packed his clothes. She gathers up Quincy Jr. and they get in the car.

Wyatt looks around his townhouse. He tells Jeffrey about the parties he’s going to have. Jeffrey tells him that he doesn’t want to relapse, and Wyatt tells him to chill. Jeffrey says he’s not going to watch him do this, and Wyatt says he’s not going to get high. Jeffrey says he’s tired of caring, and wants to leave, but Wyatt physically stops him. Jeffrey says he’s sick of everything, including Wyatt, and he’s done. Wyatt asks what he has to do to get him to stay, but he won’t do that. Jeffrey starts to walk out, and Wyatt says he’s scared. He says he can’t control himself, and if Jeffrey leaves, he’ll die. Jeffrey is the only one who’s ever loved him, and he resents him for it. He apologizes for treating Jeffrey badly, and begs him to stay, saying that he needs Jeffrey.

Jeffrey says this reminds him of his father, who’s willing to stay with his mother through all kinds of hell. He knows Wyatt loves him, and that’s why he has to go. He can’t help. He says he’ll text Wyatt the name of a group who can. They have people who’ll help him stay strong. He wants Wyatt to show that he wants to get better. Wyatt says he doesn’t need Jeffrey. Jeffrey says he does, even if he doesn’t want to. Wyatt tells him to get out.

Hanna stops by where Candace lives and Pearl calls her over. She says she thinks the police are after the man who went in the house and never came out. Hanna goes over to Candace, who tells her to go home. Hanna asks if she did something, and Candace tells her good-by. Hanna tells Candace that Benny is waiting for her in tears; she could at least call him and tell him she’s not coming. She asks if Candace did something to Quincy, and if he attacked her and she fought back. Hanna says if that’s the case, she needs to say something now. She says she can’t help Candace if she won’t help herself. She tells Candace that Benny will sit there all night and to call him.

Veronica gets back home. She looks pretty tired, and rightly so. Melissa comes downstairs and asks if she’s okay, noticing she’s bleeding. Veronica says she was mugged. She apologizes for missing the party, and asks if Jeffrey is there. Melissa says no, and Veronica says she has to find him, apologizing again. I have to note that Melissa is wearing a fabulous off-white crocheted dress.

Veronica calls Jeffrey. He asks what she wants, accusing her of calling the police, but she says that she didn’t. She tells him that it was Quincy’s sister, because anyone can follow a trail left by two idiots. She instructs Jeffrey to meet her with Candace at a hotel, calling Candace “that thing.” She says they have to meet her in thirty minutes, because he wants to stay out of prison. Or not. It’s his choice.

The forensics officer tells Justin that it’s not blood on the hot tub cover; it’s a marker. Justin is like, oh good. The officer says nobody noticed this? and points to some freshly dug earth. Justin says Candace was having yard work done, like that excuse would have sufficed. The officer calls someone over.

Justin tells Candace to get out of there now. Jeffrey calls Candace and tells her about meeting with Veronica. Candace says no way, but he says what choice do they have? She says not much, since the police just asked for shovels. She says Veronica has something up her sleeve, but agrees to meet. She says she has to talk to Benny first. Jeffrey says they have to trust Veronica, and she’d better be there in time. Candace says she’s on her way.

Mitch gets thrown into a cell next to War. He asks War how long he’s there for, and War says he’ll be out in a second. Mitch says don’t count on it with the drug charge. War wonders how Mitch found out, and tells Mitch that he has powerful connections. Mitch is like, whatever. War realizes Mitch set him up, and Mitch asks how he knows. War says he crossed the line this time, and Mitch says, let’s go to war. War says that’s his name. Not like him to make a funny, although he’s not smiling. War says okay, it’s on. Mitch tells him that he did it all on his own, and Candace didn’t set him up. He adds that War isn’t ever getting out to bother Candace again. War says when he gets out, it won’t matter who did it, and Mitch says he’s not getting out. War says the first thing he’s doing is cutting Candace’s throat. A guard comes in and tells War he’s free to go. Oops. Mitch asks for his phone call, but the guard walks away.

Hanna pulls into Benny’s driveway and tells Quincy Jr. to stay in the car. She asks Benny if Candace knew what time. Benny says she did, and Hanna says she has a place with two beds and a kitchen, not so nice, but clean. She tells him when she found out his father was married, she was devastated; she was sure he was the one. She wanted someone to love and help her, and he seemed smart and kind. He put her up in a nice apartment when he found out she was pregnant. In her eighth month, his wife found out and had her evicted, along with his sister. She had nowhere to go, and her parents wouldn’t let her come home. She kept moving and kept praying. God always found a way for them, and she tells Benny that He will now.

Benny says he’s sick of trying. He takes a step forward and gets dragged back every time. Hanna says some people do anything, get away with it and prosper, but people who have a calling on their lives are different. She says that Benny and his sister have a calling. When he asks what that means, Hanna tells him that God has a greater plan for them. She says Candace isn’t listening, and it’s why everything she touches falls apart. Benny says he just wants to be happy, and Hanna tells him to surrender to God. He says he doesn’t want to hear it right now, but he’s getting to the point that she is with Candace. He says he was doing well, and she did them wrong. Hanna says she’s not doing it on purpose, and he accuses her of defending Candace.

The police pull up and tell Benny that he has to leave. He says he’s waiting for his sister. Hanna tells him to come on, but he’s insistent. The officer says if he doesn’t leave, they’ll remove him. He gets belligerent, and the police drag him off the property. He struggles with them, and Hanna begs them not to hurt him. They throw him into the car, kicking and shouting. Quincy Jr. watches.

The officers uncover Quincy Sr. in Candace’s backyard. Justin slithers away.

Next time, Wyatt gets lost in the wrong neighborhood, Kathryn claims Veronica pushed her to insanity, and Candace and Jeffrey meet with Veronica

🚢 Ladies of London mention. Because it’s late, I’ll just say that there were fabulous sunglasses and a lot of talk about boundaries. And a good soundtrack, as usual.

January 17, 2017 – A GH Wedding, a BH Girls’ Lunch, Waiting for Candace, & Some Notes

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Maxie is afraid that Nathan is being pressured, and Lulu tells her that it was all Nathan’s idea.

Nathan tells Dante he’s not nervous, but he’s blown away that everything was pulled together so quickly. The bride and her entourage arrive, but Spinelli blocks them from coming out of the elevator.

Julian tells Sam and Jason that he was the intended target, but had nothing to do with planting the bomb. Jason isn’t interested in Julian’s stories, but Julian says how about the truth? Sam asks him if the picture that Jason found looks familiar, and he asks where they got it. Jason explains about finding it at the pawn shop. Sam asks if it’s Julian and what it was doing there. Julian says everything that’s happened is about the family, and it’s time he told her everything.

Winston tells the boss that the plans are in motion. She pours tea.

There’s something wrong with Leo, and Olivia tells Ned she’ll meet him at GH.

Maxie wants out of the elevator. Spinelli wants to err on the side of caution, and tells Nathan to blindfold himself. Nathan says that they’re not traditional, but Spinelli points out how many times his plans have gone awry. Dante puts a napkin around Nathan’s eyes. Maxie and the bridal party walk through. Maxie says the venue looks spectacular, and Nathan says nothing is too good for her.

Andre and Jordan see one another. He asks what could be more romantic than a surprise wedding. Curtis joins them, saying he needs to speak to Jordan. He’s arranged for her to meet Buzz, but it might have to be tonight.

Winston tells the boss that Julian is refusing to kill his son-in-law, but he might change his mind when his own son pays the price.

Olivia runs into the hospital. She tells Sam that she got a call from Ned, and something happened with Leo.

Mac asks if Maxie is ready for a special delivery, and brings Georgie in. Maxie says she’s lucky to have Mac in her life. He says he’s the lucky one, and happy to be surrounded by all of his girls. Felicia takes a call, and Anna comes in with Emma.

Mac has one piece of advice for Nathan – hurt his little girl and he’ll hurt Nathan worse. He asks to walk Maxie down the aisle, and she says she wouldn’t have it otherwise. Felicia tells them that they have a problem.

Griff arrives and chats with Anna. She starts to tell him something, but Emma interrupts. Valentin comes in with Charlotte. She goes off with Emma.

Ned tells Olivia that Leo’s stomach is being pumped as a precaution. He found Leo alone at the babysitter’s with an open bottle of aspirin. The sitter says she only left the room for a second, and swears that she didn’t put the aspirin bottle there. Julian looks deep in thought.

Curtis tells Jordan that his contact only feels comfortable moving Buzz within a certain window. Jordan explains who Buzz is to Andre. She asks Curtis where the meeting is supposed to take place, but Curtis says he’ll fill her in on the way; the less everyone knows, the better. She agrees, and Curtis says he’ll let her know right away when it’s set up. Andre tells Jordan that letting Curtis keep a material witness from her, and meeting him somewhere in secret, is compromising her ethics and safety. He wants her to choose not to go with Curtis and stay with him. Somehow, I don’t think this has to do with Buzz, and Andre has some serious jealousy issues.

Felicia says Lucy’s flight has been redirected, and she won’t get in until midnight. Maxie is worried that they won’t have someone to marry them. A still blindfolded Nathan says that they have determined pushy people in the room, and they’ll find someone. I guess Griff can’t do it unless they’re Catholic? Maxie wonders if the universe is telling them something.  Mac tells Robin what happened, and that they’ll have to delay the wedding. Robin says that there’s someone in the room who can marry them – Spinelli.

Spinelli was ordained from the Church of Illuminating Wonders so he could marry Sam and Jason. I have to admit, I googled it to see if it was real, but there’s no such church. He’s hesitant because of his past with the bride, but Maxie says she’d love for him to officiate. He says marry her, he shall. Griff asks Anna what she wanted to tell him, but she tells him that they’ll talk after the ceremony.

Valentin suggests Emma and Charlotte sign the registry. Lulu tries to get him to leave, but he says he’s not going anywhere. She says it’s Maxie’s day and she’s not fighting with him, but he’s not welcome there. Nina pops out, saying yes, he is, and tells them to table the conversation since the wedding is starting. Lulu sits, and Nina asks Valentin what’s up. He says that Lulu wants to tell Charlotte that she’s her mother. Nina says it’s too soon, and if Lulu really cared about Charlotte’s welfare, she’d wait.

Anna tells Valentin that she’s closer than he thinks. She says he’ll have to pay the consequences when she finds out the truth. He remarks that not everyone pays for what they’ve done, and I think he’s talking about her.

Julian ponders as Olivia discusses Leo with the others. She wonders how she could trust some stranger to care for her son. Julian says she’s not to blame for what happened. The doctor comes out.

Jordan tells Andre that it could mean the difference between putting the right or wrong person away. Andre says he doesn’t want her to trust the wrong person – Curtis of all people.

The ceremony starts with Emma and Georgie as flower girls. Lulu comes next. She’s the only attendant? I guess so, because here come Maxie and Mac. Needless to say, Maxie’s gown is gorgeous. Off the shoulder, lacy, and a full skirt, but not too long of a train.

For someone who was unprepared, Spinelli certainly does well. He does the objection thing and everyone laughs, but Obrecht runs in, saying the mother of the groom objects most strenuously, making me think she might be a match for Spinelli. I always forget how good Kathleen Gati is in this role, and wish they’d use her more.

Nathan asks what she’s doing, and she says she’s the wounded party. Maxie says she thought Obrecht was on board with them getting married, but Obrecht is appalled that she was notified via text message. Everyone else was too, but she says she’s the groom’s mother and was in surgery all day. Obviously, her attendance means nothing to her son. Nathan says he just got distracted. She says no one even noticed she was missing. Nathan says he’s glad she’s here, and Maxie says she is too, addressing her as h Schwiegermutter, mother-in-law in German. This chokes Obrecht up, and Nathan takes her to a seat of honor in the front.

The doctor says Leo will be fine. They didn’t detect anything in his system, but want to keep him overnight for observation. Olivia and Ned go in to see the non-baby in the crib. (Seriously, this is an empty crib with a bunched up blanket in it, and they’re not fooling anyone.) Julian stands in the doorway. Ned is gracious enough to ask if he wants a moment, and Julian thanks him for saving Leo. He says he’s glad that Ned is there in case anything happens to him, and to take care of Olivia, who’s a wonderful mother, and he leaves.

Julian tells Sam and Jason that Leo will be fine. Sam asks why he’s leaving, and Jason asks what he was going to tell them about the truth. Julian says it isn’t important right now. He says things have changed in the various organizations. Families were off limits, but are now considered fair game. He’s concerned that Danny and Sam might be targeted. He wishes he could tell them more, but has to go. Jason asks if Sam buys it, and she says no.

Ned says Leo is going to be fine, but Olivia is still freaked out. He says nothing is more terrifying than when your child is in danger, not that Leo is his child. Olivia says she can’t do anything about Julian being his biological father, but she’s hoping that Ned will be the father figure in Leo’s life, if he’s up for it. Ned says he thinks he is, and they kiss.

Wedding back in motion. Jordan gets a text and has to go. Andre tries to get her to stay, but that’s a no. Impromptu wedding means impromptu vows, and Spinelli hands the wedding over to Nathan and Maxie. Nathan talks about being mad at the world when he met Maxie – we flash back to that – and she opened his heart again to happiness and love. Even in tough times, she found a way to be positive. Maxie says even though she didn’t know she needed one, a hero showed up at her door. He helped her recognize that she had the strength to save herself. We see a bunch of flashbacks from their early relationship and how it progressed, while they do their vows in a voice over. They kiss, and Anna remembers looking at her broken watch.

In her flash back, Valentin comes up behind Anna and says something in French. She tells him to stop. At the wedding, everyone is applauding. Valentin turns to look at Anna, who looks panicked.

At the reception, Spinelli announces the bride and groom. I never knew that Maxie’s name was Mariah Maximillia. Everyone demands a kiss, and the couple obliges. Robin asks Spinelli if he’s cool, and he says he’s sincerely happy. He wonders where Jason and Sam are.

Jason suggests that Sam back off for a while. He says Dr. Lee told her to take it easy months ago. They kiss in the elevator.

Olivia tells Ned that Julian might have something to say about it, but Ned isn’t so sure. He says Julian was surprisingly understanding, and seemed almost grateful to him. Olivia says that Julian does seem to love his children. Ned says it seemed like something else was on his mind. Olivia wonders what that could be.

Julian goes to the boss’s new location. I have no clue what it is, but it has Asian décor. A restaurant? A tea house? Who knows. We see the boss’s high heels and that she’s dressed in red. She says she can spare a moment or two. It’s Tonya Walker…I mean, Olivia Jerome. My first thought is, oh great, we have two Olivias now, and my next thought is, dammit! I wanted it to be Helena.

Tomorrow, Olivia J. says she’ll get her revenge, Charlotte disappears, and Anna smacks Valentin across the face. He probably likes it.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

I grow weary of these women. Except for LVP, who can do no wrong.

My hat’s off to Erika. She’s leaving at 6 a.m. to do her video shoot for Expensive. She tells us that people are usually offended for her videos and she just won an award for that. Anyone who’s offended by her must not have seen many videos. There’s a pillow fight with money flying around everywhere. LisaR, who comes by for a visit with Eileen, says it’s like cotton candy meets Vegas meets Miami. I thought it was more like teenage girl’s bedroom meets money meets sexy lingerie.

When the shoot is done, Erika shows Lisa and Eileen around the studio. Eileen is thinking since she gave Erica a part in her show, maybe Erika should return the favor, and shows us her jazz hands.

Here it comes. Dorit is showing PK her new dress and brings up Pantygate, and how Eileen told her she talks too much. PK suggests she should have called Uber broomstick for Eileen, but agrees that Dorit takes a while to tell a story. Ohhh, the dress is nice. It’s an LBD.

Eileen and LisaR vogue on the set after Erika leaves to change.

Kyle and Mauricio meet with LisaV and Ken at one of Mauricio’s properties. He’s branched off on his own, and is one of the top agents in the business, having sold the Playboy mansion for $200 million. Lisa thinks he’s going to make a sh*tload of money on the property. Kyle claims she was just as happy when they were in a two-bedroom apartment with the kids, but she’s glad she doesn’t have to stress going to the mailbox every day. I totally identify. She adds that Mauricio having his own company means being his own boss, so there are definitely compromises, but she understands that everything is for the family and looks at the big picture.

Kyle, LisaV, and company go to lunch. Portia has come along and makes funny pictures of Lisa with some program on her phone.

LisaR and Eden go shopping. Lisa tells Eden about Kim acting idiotic when she tried to be nice to her on game night. Eden doesn’t think it’s okay how Kim vomited up so much unproductive talk. Lisa says she’s torn, but doesn’t reference that to anything.

Kyle discusses the same thing at lunch, and we flash back to the Amsterdam dinner, which we will never, ever be allowed to forget. Kyle says Kim and LisaR just don’t like each other, and that LisaR was inappropriate in bringing up Kim’s arrest. In her interview, Kyle says she doesn’t want to talk about it anymore, yet she’s still talking about it. LisaV uses the f-word in front of Portia, but it’s pretty funny when she realizes.

Eden tells LisaR that she felt no connection with Kyle, but Lisa thinks Kyle was just distracted. In her interview, Eden says there’s something there that she’s going to figure out. Lisa asks what she should do with the Kim stuff. Eden says it would be different if Kim reached out, and that Kim might be sober, but that’s not the issue. Lisa thinks she’s “mostly sober.” Eden wonders what she can do. Lisa thinks that Eden being another sober woman might help Kim get through, and calls Kyle an enabler. Eden says she’s all about tough love. She tells Lisa about her sister calling her up on the New Year’s Eve before she died, and how Eden wouldn’t go out with her. Lisa says Kyle is afraid to turn her back on Kim because she might die. In her interview, Eden explains how the disease impacts the entire family. She thinks if she understands Kyle, she can help Kim. Lisa says all she’s done is try to help, yet she comes out as looking like a mean bitch. Well…

Erika and her creative director are packing for a gay festival she’s performing at in Mykonos, Greece. Kyle is coming along since she’s the only one who can get away. The director says they’ll have eight to ten trunks. That’s a lot of costume changes.

Eden meets Kyle and LisaR for lunch. Kyle lets Eden try on her mother’s wedding ring, which is 10½ karats. Kyle explains that her mom passed away a while ago. Eden asks if the drinking problem in her family was passed down. Kyle asks if it always has to come from someone, and in her interview, thinks Eden should back off. Eden tells her that Kim reminds her of her own sister. She says Kim is sad and her energy is heavy. Kyle says she’s sober, and Eden asks if she’s doing a program. Kyle makes some kind of vague noises and obviously doesn’t want to talk about it. Eden says it’s hard for her to watch someone who could be struggling. In her interview, she says everyone tried to cover up her sister’s illness and shove it under the rug. Lisa says they all experienced the ripple effect of Kim. In her interview, she hopes the conversation is a step toward healing, but realizes it could backfire.

Harrison! LisaV and Ken are going to meet Max and the adoption lawyer who facilitated the process when they got him from foster care, since he’s expressed an interest in finding his birth parents. Lisa thinks it will be emotional for all of them. Giggy! Lisa says they tried to adopt more children in England, but were told they were too old. She was 35. Pandora wasn’t keen on Max looking for his birth parents, which is why she’s not with them. We flash back to her being bummed when Lisa mentions the possibility. Max looks through the folder, and Lisa gets emotional.

Lisa takes a moment, and when she comes back, she talks about giving Max to Pandora when they brought him home, and how he was always “her” baby. She says they always got along, and there was never any competition. Lisa sees that Max’s birth father played the guitar, and talks about how Max picked it up at 14 and just knew how to play. Ken suggests getting a detective to deal with the searching end of it.

Kyle leaves for the trip with Erika. Erika is starting the day by popping some champagne, although I have no idea what time it is in Greece. The director tells her she’ll be performing at 3 a.m. She’ll also be performing for 30,000 people. Kyle arrives, and Erika shows her around. It’s not my style – everything is way too white and sterile looking – but it’s beautiful. Just don’t touch anything. In her interview, Erika says she’s stayed away from women because they tend to be judgmental, but Kyle isn’t like that.

Dorit tells us that she doesn’t like tension and conflict. She calls Eileen, who obviously wasn’t expecting the call. Dorit says it was tense the other night, and asks if she’d like to meet for a girls’ chat. She’s also going to call LisaR. At least Lisa doesn’t wait in stunned silence for ten minutes after hearing Dorit’s voice. Dorit tells her that a few drinks were coupled with misunderstanding, and invites her to the lunch with Eileen. In her interview, Dorit says she has reservations, but she’s prepared for whatever happens.

Kyle has the best sunglasses! Erika practices for the show. In her interview, Kyle says they lead very different lives. She’s still making breakfast for the kids in the morning, while Erika gets lifted by a bunch of naked, hunky guys. She exaggerates; they’re only half naked. The creative director tells them that the lift still needs to be perfected, and directs the guys to toss Erika in the pool.

Dorit meets the girls for lunch. She says it got escalated and heated the other night, and hopes they can resolve it, but if not, they tried. Dorit says it’s no excuse, but she did have a few drinks that night. She says she appreciates their input about Pantygate, but they seem to want to resuscitate it, even when Erika thought it was over. She wants to understand why it keeps being brought up. She says she and Erika are fine with it. Eileen says she understands where Dorit is coming from, and is trying to see it from Dorit’s point of view. She doesn’t remember it happening that way, but if Dorit feels that she was being aggressive, she apologizes.

Dorit brings up the text message from LisaR. In her interview, Lisa claims that she’s always right. Oh, LisaR, how misguided you are, says Dr. Seuss. Eileen suggests hitting the reset button. She says she didn’t mean to put Dorit in the hot seat or make her feel uncomfortable, and would like a fresh start. In her interview, Dorit says she’s not going to forget, but she’s hopeful. She also admits that maybe she talks too much.

Next time, Boy George performs, Erika performs, and Eden wants to talk to Kim.

The Haves and the Have Nots

David tells Veronica to get off of him. She says Kathryn is trying to kill her. Kathryn turns the tables, and says it’s the other way around. Veronica screeches that David has to believe her, but he backs away a little. Kathryn says she’s lying and that she did this, pointing out her injury. She says Veronica shot Jennifer and then tried to kill her. Kathryn wants David to call the police, but he says he’s not doing anything until he understands what went on. Kathryn says if he doesn’t call, she will. Veronica says he knows her. He says yes, he does, and backs away some more. Veronica moves forward, and David falls backward onto the couch. He sees Jennifer’s body.

David is like, wth? and Veronica says that Kathryn killed Jennifer. Kathryn tells him again that Veronica killed her. Veronica tells David to quit taking her pulse, and that it’s a crime scene, so he shouldn’t be in the middle of it. Kathryn tells him that Veronica knew Jennifer was after him, and shot her. He says it’s like Maggie Day. Veronica says that was a casualty of war. Kathryn asks what happened and if David liked her too. She tells David that he has to protect her, and to call the police now. Veronica says she didn’t do this.

Jim calls David, saying he’s out of jail and Lloyd is picking him up. David says he found Kathryn, but to tell Lloyd to drop him in front of the house and not to come inside. He says it’s too sensitive to discuss over the phone. Jim asks if Kathryn is okay, and David says somewhat. Jim is like wtf? and David tells him that Veronica and Kathryn are pointing fingers at one another, and to get there asap.

David hangs up, and Kathryn says he needs to call the police. David says they’re going to wait for Jim. Veronica wants to leave, but David tells her no. He says no one is going anywhere until Jim gets there. Kathryn asks if he’s going to let her bleed to death, and he points out that even he can tell it’s a flesh wound. He repeats that everything is going to wait until Jim gets there.

Erica calls Candace, but she says she’s in the middle of something. Erica wants to give her a David update, but Candace says they’ll talk later. Erica tells her that War is getting out of jail soon, and advises her not to stay at her house. Candace says the police are there and have a search warrant. She asks how Erica knew about War. Erica says one of her targets knows the DA, and the DA told him just now. We know this is a lie, because Jennifer has been lying dead in the Cryer mansion for a while. Like since last season. Candace asks when he’s getting out, but Erica doesn’t know. Candace tells her that the bank caught the forgery, and if she doesn’t have the money by 5 o’clock, the bank is going to foreclose. She wants the name of whoever prepared the documents. Erica offers her money, but doesn’t have enough. Erica warns her that War thinks Candace set him up, but Candace says Mitch is the one who did it. Erica says it’s crazy, and that maybe she could get the money from David. Candace says she has to work him slowly or he’ll run. He can’t think she’s taking advantage of him. She explains how to present the story.

Candace gets into her car and Oscar gets in the passenger seat. She says she’s in this mess because of him and get out. He tells her he has a mark who can make them a lot of money, and to call him. She tells him she’s going to scream and he gets out. He tells her they’re running out of time and leaves. She tells herself that she does need the money.

The cops drill open Candace’s safe. Why didn’t they just ask her for the combination? She has about 20k in cash and a lot of photos of Jim in compromising positions. The officers bag the evidence.

Mitch goes to Benny’s house. Benny apologizes, and asks what happened to the truck. Mitch says it’s the only thing that was his, and now it’s all bent up. He thinks what’s happening isn’t right, and Benny agrees. Mitch says it is what it is, and they had something for a minute. Benny adds that they tried. Mitch asks if Benny is all right, and Benny insists he is. He asks why Benny is sitting outside, and Benny says Candace is supposed to bring him some money. Mitch suggests they get Benny’s truck out of the tow yard, but Benny says the bank is taking everything, even what he had before he got the tow yard. The bank told him if he tries to take his own truck, he’ll be arrested. Candace put everything in the mortgage. Mitch says screw everything, and they should just go get the truck. Benny says how, and Mitch tells him how he got his own truck out. Benny says the cops are probably all over the place, and Mitch apologizes for losing it. Benny says he’s getting there too.

Mitch says Candace needed the money for War, but he took care of it. They talk about how neither one of them is “about that life.” Mitch says he can’t do what he’s thinking. He says Benny doesn’t want the money; they’ll come after him and his folks. Benny says, so he just loses everything. Mitch says they’ve been there before, but Benny says he’s getting old. He had it, and she stole it. Mitch says it was War, and asks if Benny has called Candace, but Benny says he wants her to come on her own, and he doesn’t want to hear her excuses.

A police car pulls up. Benny says he can’t bail Mitch out. Two officers approach and ask for Mitch. They tell him he’s under arrest and cuff him. One officer goes for the truck and the other reads him his rights. How come Mitch doesn’t just call his family? I know he wants to find his own way and all, but it wouldn’t be the first time he’s called them in a pinch.

Jeffrey calls Candace. She asks if he spoke to Justin and he says no. She tells him what will happen to him if he goes to prison, and he tells her not to threaten him. She says she isn’t; she’s just informing him. She tells him to call Justin on a three-way call, because she wants to talk to him. Justin answers, and says Jeffrey had better tell “that bitch” that nothing happened between them. There’s silence, and Candace asks if Jeffrey heard Justin. Justin asks who it is, and she says the bitch who he didn’t want knowing anything. Justin gets agitated, and Jeffrey tells him not to pay attention to Candace, and tells Candace to apologize. She does, and Jeffrey says they need his help. Justin says he’ll do it for Jeffrey. When Justin hangs up, Candace tells Jeffrey that they have him. Jeffrey asks what she said to Justin, and she says, what she had to. Jeffrey says she’s not helping and they’re doing it his way.

Wyatt comes out of his hospital room fully dressed. Jeffrey tells him that the doctor hasn’t discharged him, and he isn’t leaving. Wyatt says he hears that, and walks out.

Justin putters around the kitchen, pretending to look for evidence. He takes something out of a drawer that looks like an EpiPen. It is a pen. A fat, red, felt tip. He makes some marks on the hot tub cover and says he thinks they have something, and that a forensics team should look at the hot tub. He has the other officers help him move the cover. I have no idea what’s in his head.

Candace gets to her house and Jeffrey comes out. Candace apologizes for what she said, and he asks what she wants. She says she needs his help, and he says that’s what he was trying to do. He tells her that he’s bought her time, but eventually, they’ll check the backyard. He tells her to get out of there, and tell Jeffrey to go somewhere he can’t be found. She says he likes Jeffrey, and Justin says not like that; he’s a friend. She tells him there’s money she needs, but he says they already went through the safe, and the money has been packed as evidence. He tells her the compromising photos of Jim are gone too. She asks if he can get them, but he says no, and that she should really go. She asks if he’ll call. He says he’s already in too deep and doesn’t know why. She says because of Jeffrey, and it’s okay if he likes him. Justin says he has to go.

Benny is still sitting outside. Hanna tells him he needs to pack, but he insists that Candace is coming. Hanna brings out a chair and sits next to him. He says he can wait by himself. She asks why he doesn’t wait inside, and he says that every five minutes she’ll be telling him to pack. She says it’s a nice house and she’s glad Candace gave it to him along with the tow yard. It shows she can still care about someone and there’s hope for her yet. Benny says that’s not exactly positive. Hanna says he’s mad because she’s right. He suggests she go in, and Hanna says she’s taking Quincy Jr. to the hotel. She says even if Candace comes, they still have to leave. She tells Benny she’ll be at the Fountain Drop Hotel. Benny insists Candance will bring money for something better. Hanna doesn’t want Quincy Jr. to see the sheriff put them out. She tells Benny she loves him and loves the way he loves his sister, but she’s not coming. She goes inside, taking the chair with her. Benny stares into the distance.

David tends to Kathryn’s wound. Veronica says David used to be like that with her, tender and caring. Kathryn says she doesn’t know how he could have loved her. David tells her don’t, and Veronica says he takes Kathryn’s side even after Kathryn tried to kill her. David tells her to shut up. Kathryn says that Veronica pushed him to another woman. Veronica says she wishes she could get out, but David is waiting for the boss man to tell him what to do, and starts talking like a plantation slave. Kathryn says she sees why David filed for divorce. Veronica tells her to stay out of it. She says she’s not the kind of enemy Kathryn wants to make. Kathryn says that’s a change of pace, since just before, Veronica was trying to kill her. Veronica says if she was trying to kill her, then she’s the same person. Kathryn says she can’t bait her, but Veronica says she’ll continue to do it in court, and not to take her down this path. She suddenly decides that the three of them – Kathryn, Jim and David – planned this, and David tells her that not everything is a conspiracy. Kathryn says she sees what David means, referring to Veronica being psychotic. David says she’s witnessing it firsthand, but don’t. Veronica starts in about how David can’t make a move without Jim, and does the slave thing again. She says she’s sick of it. David says there’s a dead body here, and she says she doesn’t give a damn. Kathryn says that’s because she did it, and tells David that they have to call an ambulance.

Kathryn realizes that the gun is next to Veronica. David sees it too, and makes a move for it, but Veronica gets it first.

Next time, Wyatt wants Jeffrey to stay, War threatens to cut Candace’s throat, and Hanna approaches Candace about Quincy.

✈  Ladies of London acknowledgement. They’re still in Scotland, with the men joining them for a final night. This leaves me feeling badly for Joan Collins Sophie, since she’s going through a nasty divorce. The highlights were a whiskey tasting where the ladies thought the whiskeys (which were no doubt very aged and expensive) tasted like everything from “cat butt” to “bad breath,” along with a huge production over the serving of haggis. This is another thing that didn’t go over big with any of the women, although a few were good sports. The way I feel is, if you’re there and it’s traditional, shut up and just try it. I was the only one, along with the chaperone, who ate whatever was put in front of me on a trip to Russia when I was in high school.

I was surprised when Julie said she didn’t eat meat. I knew Juliet was a vegetarian, and I get their names mixed up already, so this doesn’t help. Julie made a toast that Marissa read way too much into in her interview. My take was that Julie was saying that when she came to town, she was a wimp, but seeing how strong Caroline #1 is, made her grow in her own strength. Marissa wondered what the underlying meaning was, and if it was some kind of threat. She hasn’t exactly been at the top of her game though, and kept repeating that she’s tired and can’t do it – whatever it is – until Caroline #1 finally paid attention to her. They also played a bizarre balloon game, which Caroline #2 assured us would be hysterical. I wouldn’t go that far, but it was pretty funny to see a bunch of adult women (and one man – ?), wearing formal dress, trying to break a balloon by pushing it with their body against their team mate’s behind. Several of the ladies ended up on the floor laughing. Maybe the whiskey wasn’t so bad after all.

Next time, Jacqueline Onassis Sophie rocks some amazing sunglasses!

I like this show a lot, and have to admit, I’m going to miss Caroline #1 when she goes to Dubai. I’m so hoping for a spin-off show.

🍸 Quickie note about Vanderpump Rules, since I watch all of these shows like ten times. Not watch watch, but you know, it’s on in the background. After Lala’s barely there apology for skipping out on Ariana’s birthday, there was that interview where Tom claimed he was good as far as Lala was concerned – maybe forever – meaning he was not good, and she could disappear off the planet, and Ariana was drying glasses like she might kill someone. But then later, she doesn’t seem to care so much. I’m wondering if the two of them are sort of like prosecuting attorneys. They know they’re wrong, but they just can’t admit it.

January 9, 2017 – Who is GH’s Lady Boss, Vanderpump Slides into Summer House, Random Atlanta Thoughts & My Dogs’ Birthday

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Kiki and Dillon are back in Port Charles, having never made it to LA. Dillon wants to celebrate the way they did New Year’s Eve, whatever that means, but Kiki wants to brush her teeth for an hour. It seems they were stuck in Detroit for quite a while, and had problems getting back.

Scotty meets with Franco at the dive bar. He says Franco has a good motive for killing Tom, and Franco thanks him for his support. Franco asks when the print test is coming back from the knife. Scotty wonders if Franco’s prints will be on it.

Laura tells Elizabeth that she had a great time skating with the kids. Doc twisted his ankle while showing off though. She says the boys were amused, but also couldn’t stop taking about Franco.

Franco tells Scotty that Tom could have taken the knife, but even if his own prints are on it, it doesn’t make him guilty.

Jason asks Buzz what the name of Winston’s boss is. He doesn’t know, and didn’t get a good look at her, but remembers her voice. She told Winston to kill the homeless loser who planted the bomb.

Omg, could it be Helena??? I’ve never believed for a moment that she’s really dead. I don’t think Nicholas is really dead either. We haven’t seen the boss’s face yet, but she’s dressed in a kimono, wearing a lot of jewelry, and those don’t look like young hands. Winston tells the boss that Jason has found the homeless man.

Alexis can’t find her vodka and freaks. Julian shows her the empty bottles. He says he emptied everything out, including what she had hidden in the laundry room. She tells him he had no right to do that, but he says he’s trying to stop her from killing herself or someone else.

Kiki tells Dillon that Franco isn’t home. She thinks a bath in disinfectant followed by a bleach shower would be great, and then lots of food. They talk about what happened on the bus, and Dillon asks if the kiss changed anything.

Buzz wants to jet, and asks “Father Curtis” for a special blessing. Curtis asks about the woman’s voice, and Jason asks him to repeat what he told them. Buzz says that he realized Winston had lied, and that he didn’t plant a GPS, but a bomb that killed an innocent kid – Sonny’s kid. He realized his life was over, and went to the pawn shop to confront Winston. Curtis wonders how he got in and out with no notice, when it’s under surveillance 24/7.

Julian tells Alexis he loves her too much to allow her to ruin her life. He says she’s going to drink herself to death or have another accident, and asks how she’d feel if she killed an innocent stranger. She flashes back to struggling with Tom in the alleyway. Julian asks what’s wrong.

Scotty tells Franco that the police are going to build a case and arrest him, and what they need is an alibi. Franco is annoyed that Scotty isn’t believing him, but Scotty says it’s like the chicken or the egg, and wants to know what Franco was doing that night.

Elizabeth tells Laura that she heard about Charlotte being her granddaughter. Laura says as far as Lulu is concerned, the custody hearing can’t happen fast enough. Elizabeth says if she needs any help, to let her know. Laura says the boys seem convinced that Franco is going to be a big part of their lives, but she’s not getting the same vibe from Elizabeth.

Alexis tells Julian that she’s not staying while he stages a one-man intervention. Julian tells her she’s making a mistake.

Winston promises the boss that he’ll find Buzz, and says that if Buzz was going to the police, he would have done it already. He tells her that he has more bad news.

Buzz tells Jason and Curtis that he can’t reveal anything, but Curtis promises they won’t rat him out. Buzz tells them there’s a network of catacombs under Port Charles, and that’s how he gets in and out of the pawn shop without anyone seeing. He says Winston and the boss have a secret office in the tunnels.

Alexis asks if Julian is going to hold a knife to her throat to stop her. She says he’ll have to catch her first, and she’s pretty sure she can outrun a guy with a cane. He says she’s why he’s using the cane in the first place. D’oh! He asks her to just go twelve hours without a drink. She calls an Uber.

Elizabeth asks if Laura judges her, but Laura says that everyone is capable of doing good or harm, and good people can make wrong choices. She says everyone deserves a second chance, even Franco. Elizabeth says she doesn’t know the whole story.

Franco tells Scotty he was locked in a metal dog crate. Immediately Scotty thinks he and Elizabeth were getting freaky, but Franco explains that Tom put him there. Franco says it makes sense, since he put Tom in first. Now Scotty is going to think it’s even more freaky. Ha-ha!

Dillon tells Kiki if it was just a New Year’s Eve kiss, that’s cool. Kiki tells him that when he was sleeping, she started to think about her life. She’ll always feel guilty for Morgan’s death, but she can focus on it or turn it into something useful. She could volunteer at the hospital or go back to school and help people with mental issues. Dillon says Morgan would like that. Kiki still wants to shower, and says Dillon could order food while she’s in there. He suggests they shower together to save water, but that’s a no.

Winston tells the boss lady that Jason and Sam have become suspicious. The boss spills hot tea on him. Purposely.

Jason offers to set Buzz up out of town. Curtis says he has a friend in Baltimore and will let him know Buzz is coming, and Jason gives him some money to get there. Buzz tells them to watch their step; these people aren’t messing around. He leaves, and Jason asks Sam what she found out. She says Julian lied, telling her that he just buys stuff from Winston, but she could tell he’s scared. She also believes he has nothing to do with the car bomb.

Alexis tells Julian that he isn’t the worst part of her day. He tells her that she’s become dependent on alcohol or she’d take his challenge. He asks her to do it for her children and herself, for the career she wants back and her self-respect. She says he took her self-respect from her. He agrees, and says if she’s broken, he understands it’s his fault and that her only comfort is in a bottle. He says he owes it to her to save her life. She says save her or kill her, pick one. He says she has a lot to process right now, and she tells him not to patronize her. He says he’s not, but understands wanting to block the rest of the world out. Alexis flashes back to Tom again. She struggles with him and he throws her down. He tells her if she does it again, she’s dead, and pulls out the knife. In the present, Alexis goes to the door, and Julian says if she leaves he’s staging a real intervention.

Elizabeth tells Laura about Tom’s parole and how the police suspect Franco of his murder.

Scotty tells Franco it’s false imprisonment. Franco says he was just keeping Tom until after his parole meeting. Scotty says that’s OCD thinking, and Franco says he came to his senses, but then Tom turned the tables on him. Scotty says he believes him, but his alibi could put him in prison. Franco says his only hope is finding the real killer. He tells Scotty what the bartender told him. Scotty wonders if he greases the bartender more, if he’d talk more. Scotty says he has bupkis, but Franco says he also ran into Alexis at the bar.

Sam tells Jason and Curtis that Julian seemed genuinely scared of Winston, and she thinks he’s afraid for them. She thinks Julian was the target, and Winston was responsible for Morgan’s death. They wonder who the boss is.

Winston is like it’s all good, and tells lady boss that he’ll take care of Jason.

Alexis dismisses the Uber and goes back in. She tells Julian that her friends and family would never listen to him. He asks why she didn’t leave then. She says Sam is pregnant and it would stress her out, but Julian says it’s more stressful to have a drunk as a mother. He tells her that it’s only a matter of time before they find out. He says she’s lost her license and isolated herself; how long before she has nobody? Alexis says he should know. Julian wishes she could be the independent woman he fell in love with. He says she’s so desperate, she can’t help herself, much less anyone else. She says he wants her to be drunk so he can keep control. He tells her that she’s not just losing the people she knows, but the entire world; all the people she’s helped or would be able to help will be deprived of their champion.

Franco tells Scotty that Alexis made up an excuse for being at the bar, but she was beyond nervous. Scotty says she’s been off since Julian’s trial, and they need to find out who the woman was who Tom was drinking with. Franco asks to borrow Scotty’s tablet, and they have an amusing conversation about Facebook. Scotty gets an alert that the fingerprint analysis is back.

Jason asks if Julian mentioned who Winston might be working for, but Sam says no, and reiterates that he seemed scared. Curtis and Jason decide to go to the pawn shop via the tunnels. Sam Is hesitant, but Jason says that now she and the kids are in danger, and Curtis says if they’re smart, they won’t be risking their lives.

Kiki and Dillon chow down on Italian, Mexican and Chinese food. They kiss. Geez, I didn’t even get a warning.

Elizabeth tells Laura that maybe she’s being naïve, but she believes Franco. Even if he didn’t kill Tom though, he carried out his own brand of justice. She says he fixed it, but Tom turned up dead. Laura asks if she can live with what Franco did do. Elizabeth says she can, but he’s pulled away. Until the real murderer is found, he wants to keep his distance. Her heart wants to stay by his side, but her head says that’s crazy. Laura says they’re all flawed people and only she can decide if the good in Franco outweighs the bad.

There are no fingerprints on the knife. Franco says that doesn’t exactly clear him, but seems more upset that Scotty hasn’t friended him. Franco suggests he look for the hashtag of the roadhouse, thinking there might be photos that include Tom and the mystery woman.

Julian has gotten a load of DVDs and food to distract Alexis. He hands her a knife, and she flashes back again. She tells Tom that he isn’t the first guy who’s held a knife to her throat, and gets the knife from him, saying he messed with the wrong person. Back at the house, Alexis freaks out, saying she needs a drink. Julian asks what’s wrong, and she wails about what she’s done.

Curtis and Jason lurk around the tunnels and open a door.

There’s a knock at Kiki’s door, and she thinks it must be dessert. Instead, it’s Elizabeth looking for Franco. Kiki says she just got in, but he’s not there. She says she’ll tell Franco that Elizabeth came by, but Elizabeth wants to surprise him. When she’s gone, Dillon tells Kiki that it’s the same dance they’ve been doing for months, and it’s the fear of jumping into a relationship. He says they should wait for what happens next; no pressure.

Scotty can’t find any pictures from December 21st. He thinks they should wait and find another server who might know something. Franco sees a picture where Tom and Alexis are sitting together at a booth in the background.

Alexis tells Julian that she was outside of the roadhouse. She was drunk and did something. She killed someone.

Tomorrow, Diane asks Sonny what he knows, a fire starts in the tunnels, and Alexis confesses to Julian.

Vanderpump Rules

Oh, I get it. The reason there’s a two-hour show on tonight is because they’re introducing Stassi’s new one, Summer House. It looks like they’ll probably slide into it the way they did with The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills slipping into Vanderpump Rules with the latter’s first episode.

Stassi is amazed that she’s not hung over and feeling “chipper.” Who uses that word? Maybe Kathy Gifford. Stassi and Katie discuss the night before. In her interview, Stassi says she’s not ready for another relationship, but wouldn’t mind a guy to distract her from the breakup with Patrick, who she was with for two years. They talk about how to approach a new guy.

Meanwhile, at Sonoma Raceway, the RV is starting to smell on day two. Ariana says they’re barely clinging to their humanity. Geez, two days out of LA and it’s Lord of the Flies. Brittany tells Jax that he’s making her insane. How this is different from their everyday life, I’m not sure. In his interview, Schwartz says that Jax and Brittany need a time out. He tries to take pix of Jax while he’s in the shower. Tom suggests that Jax might want to stop picking on Brittany before he finds himself single again.

In her interview, Kristen says she’s heard that Montauk is WASP-y, and since wasps suck, she hopes Montauk doesn’t suck. She’s not joking either. Is LA this out of touch with the rest of the world, or is she really this stupid? Stassi has to look up clambake, so they understand the difference between that and a luau. I repeat my previous question. Scheana asks what if they don’t like clams, and is told to take one for the team.

Ariana’s group is ready for the NASCAR race, and Tom gets some autographs. The only racing guy I know is Jeff Gordon, but I don’t think he even races anymore. Schwartz takes a poll as to which of the girls are willing to flash their boobs, and Jax points out for the billionth time that he paid for Brittany’s. Ariana suggests she find a new boyfriend. That’s got my vote.

Stassi and Katie lounge on the porch, and Stassi says they look like an old married couple. Katie has gotten some texts from Lisa and gives her a call. Lisa gives Katie a list of things that they need to work on, but tells her they can meet when Katie gets back. Katie is a little annoyed that Lisa didn’t wish her a happy birthday. Well, Lisa is at work.

Tom and Ariana kiss on the Ferris Wheel, while Jax harasses them. Ariana says it’s the best trip ever, and too bad for Lala who couldn’t be bothered to make it.

The clambake happens, but it’s not like the one in Oklahoma! There are linens on the table, everyone is dressed like they’re going not to the beach, and they’re sipping white wine. Stassi is glad for the well-dressed, attractive men who aren’t like the ones she met at the bar last night. Scheana informs everyone that she doesn’t really eat fish, but it doesn’t matter because someone just brought out a magnum of rosé. Everyone wonders how to eat a lobster. Some guy takes a selfie with a lobster. In her interview, Scheana says she’s not eating anything with claws because a cat has claws, and she wouldn’t eat a cat. Sigh…  Stassi is embarrassed about Scheana’s whining. I’m embarrassed about Scheana period.

Ariana and company watch the race. They have VIP tickets, so the view is pretty good. I’d call it a bird’s-eye view, but that sounds like the one I had at the Elton John concert in 1970whatever, when I had to sit in mountain goat territory. Tom calls to get the toilet tank flushed out and the guys sing a song about saving poop, making me eternally glad that I don’t know these people. Schwartz thinks it’s Jax’s fault for his excessive use of toilet paper. In her interview, Brittany says Jax needs to grow up and respect her. Good luck with that. And for those who don’t know this, when I say that, what I really mean is, all the luck in the world won’t save you.

Small talk is made at the clambake. Somebody gets nosy, asking Stassi about her breakup, but she really doesn’t want to cry. In her interview, she says it’s extra hard because her family and friends like Patrick, and she usually dates a-holes. Katie thinks Stassi needs some tough love, even if it’s just going to second base. Stassi thinks they should have perhaps gotten real careers. One of the guys makes fun of her for being on a dating app, although I’m not sure why. Isn’t that how people date now? They toast to being in Montauk.

If I have to see Jax’s butt crack one more time, I’m going to go out of my mind. The group goes out to eat, and I am loving Ariana’s earrings. They’re huge crescents with leaf-shaped rhinestones in various shades of green attached to them. Tom calls Jax an a-hole, and asks Brittany how she feels about him ordering her around, but he says he supports her lifestyle and no one can tell him how to deal with his relationship. Tom tells him gifts aren’t leverage. Jax thinks he’d love being in Brittany’s place. I guess he must like being embarrassed. Brittany is feeling stupid, but Tom tells her nothing Jax says is making her look bad. In his interview, Jax says when he started dating Brittany, he loved that she wasn’t from LA, but she seems to be adapting and he doesn’t like it. Hmm… By that, I assume he means she has independent thoughts. To be honest, I get what he’s saying about supporting her. When one person is paying all the bills, the other one needs to pinch in the other departments like cleaning and cooking, but it’s his delivery that’s obnoxious, and it doesn’t mean you can demand whatever whenever. He might need to learn the hard way that his POV is not acceptable.

Ariana tells everyone that Lala isn’t following her on social media anymore, and wonders why she’s being iced out. She says she can be a bitch too and unfollows Lala. Oh. Horrors. Schwartz says a line has been drawn in the sand. Not one episode of this show goes by without me thinking about how much more mature my friends and I were at this age. Is technology the problem? All of the above?

In her interview, Lala talks about herself in the third person, and says she was in shut-down mode. Harrison! Lisa tells Lala she can do what she wants with her time off, but she doesn’t get why Lala didn’t show up for Ariana’s birthday. Lala makes noises about Jax being irritating, although she knew that before. Lisa reads my mind and wonders why Lala said she’d go in the first place. Lala starts to cry, telling Lisa that everyone is saying she’s a homewrecker. In her interview, Lisa says she doesn’t know if it’s true – she hopes not – but Lala should have more respect for herself. Lala says she makes stuff up about her boyfriend to get them off her back and give them something to talk about. One day she’s dating the pope and the next, a baseball player. She thinks of it as an acting exercise. Lisa explains that when someone is caught in a lie, no one knows how much to invest in them. In her interview, Lisa says Lala likes to create a situation, but then act like a baby girl, and life doesn’t work like that. Lala says she thinks it might be best for her to walk away from “this workplace.” Because actually telling the truth and dealing with real life is too hard.

Lisa asks what’s wrong with her, and thinks she should grow up and deal with it. Thank you, Lisa the Amazing Kreskin of Beverly Hills. She asks if Lala thinks everyone is going to be her friend if she ends up being successful in films. Lala admits that she’s in charge of her own emotions. Lisa tells Lala that if she quits, she’s going to give a lot of people satisfaction. Lala wishes they’d had this conversation a while ago, and Lisa thinks Lala should have had this conversation with her mother long ago. In her interview, Lala says that Lisa makes sense and decides not to quit yet.

Stassi’s name has to be explained to empty-headed, but good-looking Kyle. The girls visit the twins’ rental house. They claim it’s like going to Lisa’s, but hardly. It’s big, but could probably fit in Lisa’s bathroom. Everyone gets a drink and the twins (Ashley and Lauren) show them around. In her interview, Kristen says maybe she’s in the wrong business. Maybe she should be in…business. I’m not kidding. She really said that. Kyle drinks directly from the blender, and tells Carl that he likes Stassi.

Ariana and Brittany rehash Jax’s remarks. Ariana has to explain what misogynistic means to Brittany. The absolute definition is Jax. The guys build a fire outside, and Ariana asks Brittany what she’s going to do if Jax doesn’t change.

Commercial break. Giggy! RHOBH looks really good this week. Game night, including Kim Richards. Duck, run, and then look through your fingers like it’s a horror film.

It’s time to get in the pool in Montauk. Along with more drinking. Ashley lets Stassi know that Kyle is interested in her.

In Sonoma, Jax asks Brittany if she’s having fun. She tells him that she is, other than his ‘tude, which she doesn’t appreciate, but he thinks she’s exaggerating. In his interview, he says he pays for everything, so it would be nice to have lunch ready sometimes. Brittany tells him that she’s tired of him holding her boob job over her head, and says she does a lot for him too. She says she appreciates what he does for her, but that doesn’t mean he can just do or say whatever he wants. He says he’ll try harder, but the occasional turkey sandwich would be nice.

Kyle is pretty sh*tfaced, and tells Stassi he appreciates her New York fashion. She’s wearing a white bathing suit that has a turtleneck type collar, and her hair in an Audrey Hepburn updo. Katie says Stassi should ask herself what would Lala do? More drinks happen in the kitchen. Tequila Katie arrives (i.e. Katie’s other personality when she drinks too much). Scheana worries that Schwartz isn’t there to put Tequila Katie in her place. Whatever that means. Lots of confusing statements today.

Kyle and Stassi are still in the pool. He tells her that she’s “well put together.” He asks if she’s single, and she says for about a week. He suggests they embrace it. We flash back to how very much liquor this dude has put away. He asks Stassi what her name is again. He says something about her being female and hot, but a turtleneck and Steve Jobs are involved. I have no idea where this conversation is going. Stassi wants to give him lessons on how to make a girl feel special, one of which is not telling them they’re like Steve Jobs in a turtleneck. He says something about her nipple and it all goes south quickly.

Everyone gets back in the pool, and there are too many people to keep track of. Stassi tells the girls that she’s never been more turned off by anyone in her life. Kyle shoves chips in his mouth. The twins say he’s a good guy, but an idiot when he’s drunk. Stassi says he made her want to call her ex. Well, that certainly backfired. Kyle jumps into the pool.

Everyone goes back inside, and Kristen tries to find out what the blip Kyle said to Stassi. One of the other guys explains that when Kyle drinks, he does slow moves and a lot of pointing, like a Ken doll doing tai chi under water. Kyle apologizes to Stassi, and she basically calls him a douche. She suggests he remember a girl’s name if he wants to get lucky. She asks him what her name is, and he can’t come up with it. The SUR girls go back to their own place. Kyle says even though he struck out, he’s learned that after 12 glasses of rosé, he should probably STFU. No argument from me. He eats watermelon alone in the kitchen.

Omg! Omg! An infinity pool! I want to swim in one so badly. The next day, everyone wakes up with a hangover, and some of them have to drive home because they have “real” jobs. As opposed to Steve Jobs. We seem to have swung into the next show.

Blah-blah-blah, NYC, hot and smelly in the summer.

Obviously, my jury is still out on Summer House, but I have the feeling that my opinion is going to be, meh, and a waste of time. I already think Kyle is a total d-bag and when Stassi is the best thing about a show, that’s just sad. I’ll be watching, but not so sure I’ll be recapping.

Okay, after watching almost the entire first episode, the whole thing is just sad. And no permanent Stassi. Just the twins, that moron Kyle, and whoever else the other interchangeable people are. Unless some Vanderpump fixtures join the cast, this is going to be a if-there’s-nothing-better-on show.

🌃 The good news is, Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce begins it’s new season on Wednesday, January 11, at 10 pm. This is also the birthday of six of my dogs, who will be ten this year!

Juliet&amp;HerBabies

👠 Just some thoughts on The Real Housewives of Atlanta. I feel sad that Kenya’s relationship with Matt ultimately didn’t work out, but better to find out what he’s like now. Phaedra, wtf, talking so much smack about Kandi? And here comes Porsha to add her own definition of things by telling Kandi she’s becoming “unleashed” about it. Um…I think the word is unhinged. Alhtough I’m not sure why I always expect more from someone who thought the Underground Railroad was a real railroad.

Sheree continues to tease Bob, meeting him for some kind of extreme workout that neither one of them could seem to accomplish. Cynthia graciously went to an event of Peter’s, and he described her as looking like “an ice cream cone,” driving him crazy with her va-va-voom. As much as I can’t stand Peter, I had to agree with him. She looked like she’d been poured into a gorgeous white dress, and totally delicious! Unfortunately, Kenya was also attending, and Matt ambushed her, punching her driver and then taking off. Not cool. Next week, it doesn’t look much better, with Matt busting out some windows in Kenya’s new home. Looks like it’s restraining order time. In her interview, Kenya cried, saying what a shame it was when Matt had such potential. My heart broke for her. I like Kenya and I have every confidence that she’ll eventually find the right guy. But in the meantime, there’s those frogs to deal with.

And why do they advertise next week’s new episode when we’re not done with this week’s episode yet?

January 3, 2017 – Connections are Made in PC, Pantigate Continues in BH, HAHN Returns & a London Quote

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Lulu and Dante take New Year’s Eve (Day? whatever) selfies, and Lulu comes across a picture of Charlotte. She tells Dante that they have to get her away from Valentin.

Valentin carries Nina over the threshold.

Alexis is passed out after drinking an entire bottle of a vodka brand I’ve never heard of. Sam tries to call, but there’s no answer.

Sam is concerned about Alexis not picking up. She tells Jason that it’s not like her to not answer this late. They decide to check on her.

Someone bangs on Elizabeth’s door. Well, I doubt it’s a criminal. They usually don’t knock like that. Make that debatable, since it’s Franco. He wants to talk. Elizabeth wants to know about the murder weapon and asks if the knife is his. He tells her it is.

Carly tells Sonny she can’t do this. He asks what’s wrong. She says she has to go, and he tells her not to start the new year by running away. She says she shouldn’t have come. When he asks why she did, she tells him that she got worried about life being short and wanted to spend time with him, but his business is his business and nothing has changed. He asks her to stay.

Franco tells Elizabeth that most likely, Tom took the knife when he took off, but his own prints and DNA are probably all over it, and they’re going to think he did it. Elizabeth says that he should be talking to Scotty. He asks if she believes he didn’t kill Tom Baker.

Julian tries to wake Alexis. Sam knocks at the door. Alexis struggles to wake up.

Nina asks Valentin if he’s been married before. He says she’s his first and only. She says she was married twice – the first time she was young and foolish, and the second, just foolish. He tells her the third time is the charm. She says they’re going to make it work for Charlotte.

Lulu thanks Dante for being so supportive, and tells him that they have to win in court.

Valentin tells Nina that Charlotte will love having her as a mom. Nina says that Lulu isn’t going to like it. She wants Charlotte all to herself, but she’s going to lose. Valentin says he doesn’t want to spend their wedding night talking about Lulu. He kisses Nina’s hand and says it deserves a beautiful ring. She tells him the ribbon ring that she has is priceless, and she’s never letting it go. They get all hot and steamy, and by that I don’t mean they’re taking a shower, but it does make me wonder how that “ring” is going to hold up in one.

Sam starts to let herself in, and Alexis meets Sam and Jason at the door. She tells them it’s late, and she’d silenced her phone. Sam says they need to talk to her. Now. Sam and Jason walk into the house past her. Hmm…looks like Julian cleaned the place up. Sam sees Alexis’s phone and tells her there’s three missed calls. Alexis says she can’t respond to calls she didn’t know about. Sam tells her that she has to be careful. She starts to say something else, and then asks if Alexis has been drinking. She probably stinks to high heaven.

Sonny asks Carly why they can’t reconnect. She says it’s happening too fast. Sonny tells her that he knows he’s put them through a lot, but deep down she knows they belong together. She tells him that she loves him, and he asks what she really wants. If her doubts and fears were gone, would she stay? She says she wants to. They kiss.

Franco tells Elizabeth that he didn’t kill Tom, and asks if she believes him. She says he locked Tom in a dog crate, and why shouldn’t she think he did something worse? And this was after he promised he wouldn’t go near Tom, not to mention their public fight. Franco says it’s a far cry from murder, and he’s not that guy. He says after Tom left, he had a life-altering experience and there’s no way the person he is now would do that. Elizabeth asks what happened.

Lulu worries about Charlotte liking Nina so much. She admits to being jealous, but what really concerns her is the bond between Nina and Valentin. Dante drinks to Nathan talking sense into his sister. Lulu says that Nina looked her straight in the eye and said Charlotte loves “us,” like she and Valentin were a couple. Dante asks why they were talking about Charlotte in the first place, and Lulu tells him that she might have mentioned she was going to fight for sole custody.

Valentin tells Nina now that they’ve consummated the marriage, there’s no backing out. He asks if she’d like to join him in the shower. She tells him he promised they’d go out for a New Year and wedding celebration, and she’s holding him to it. He goes into the bathroom, and she sees a gun when she’s moving his clothing around. Well, I don’t think it would be weird for him to have one.

Franco tells Elizabeth that when he was unconscious, he had visions of her and Sam and even himself. She asks what they were all saying, and he says it was what he needed to hear; he has to come to terms with who he’s become after the tumor was removed. He says he’s not a monster but not a particularly good person either; not as good as he thinks he is. He’s decided he should be better, better because of her. He wants to tell her how he feels about her, and she says she knows he loves her.

Alexis says yes, she was drinking, but she’s had a crap year, her life is a trash fire, and it was New Year’s Eve. She says she got hammered and finally got some sleep. It was a one-time thing, but she felt entitled. Sam says she was worried, but she’s glad Alexis is fine. Alexis asks what the dire situation is about.

Jason asks if she knows Winston, and Sam adds that they know he was there. Jason shows her a picture, and Alexis says he wanted to talk to Julian.

Sonny and Carly get busy.

Lulu tells Dante about the scuffle with Nina, and he tells her that she needs to stay away from Nina. Lulu asks how she’s supposed to do that, since she’s Maxie’s matron of honor. He says she can’t get into another fight with Nina, because it will make her look bad in court. Lulu asks how it could since she’s fighting Valentin.

Valentin tells Nina that she seems quiet. She says she has a lot to think about, starting with the gun she found, explaining that she wasn’t snooping, just cleaning up. Valentin says he doesn’t advertise it, but he’s licensed to carry it. She says she doesn’t like guns, and he says sometimes they’re a necessity. He hasn’t lived a blameless life, and it’s just a precaution. He promises he’ll never let her or Charlotte come into harm’s way. He tells her that he’s never let his guard down except for her.

Elizabeth reminds Franco about telling her that she’s the woman he loves when they were at the hospital, but it got lost in the confusion of his almost arrest. He says he does love her, and that he’s going to tell her about the ghosts of the past, present and future that talked to him. He tells her that he’s never going to lie to her, especially about something that matters, and asks if she believes him.

Alexis tells Jason that Winston thought she and Julian were still together, but she gave him Ava’s information and he left. She says he told her something about working with Julian and not for him. She wonders how Jason knew he’d been at her house, and Jason says he’d had Winston followed. Alexis has questions, but Sam says it’s late. She tells Alexis to watch out, and Jason tells her to call if Winston comes back. They leave, much to Alexis’s relief. She asks Julian about Winston, and then says screw this, she doesn’t want to know, just keep him away. She’s going out, and Julian tells her not to go drinking. She tells him what she does is none of his business, and to keep Winston out of her house.

Carly and Sonny bask in the afterglow. Carly says that Sonny owes Michael and Sam a thank you. He asks if they told her that “Sonny is great,” and she says no, but they did tell her to trust and believe in their marriage. She tells him Nell is on his side too. He says there’s something he has to tell her. Oy.

Elizabeth tells Franco that she believes him. He says that he knows the other stuff bothers her, and she says it’s a lot to process. He did something extreme, and then claims he’s changed. Franco says anyone can say that, but it takes time to really change. He tells her that ironically, he’s going to go down for Tom’s murder instead of anything he’s really done. He says no matter how he strives to change, there’s a possibility that he won’t be with her for her to see it. He says before this, he would have tried to convince her to run away, but it’s time to face reality. He might lose the best thing that’s ever happened to him.

Lulu tells Dante that Nina is an outsider to this and always will be. Dante suggests they go home. On their way out, they run into Valentin and Nina. Valentin asks if they want to join them for a drink. He and Nina have news.

Sonny tells Carly that when they lost Morgan, he couldn’t see through his own pain and didn’t want to. She turned him away, but he doesn’t blame her for anything and is sorry his actions kept them apart when they needed each other. Carly says she’s sorry for punishing him, and he says he doesn’t want her to apologize for anything. They both said and did things they shouldn’t have. She tells him to stop. They’re here together now, and it makes sense to her.

Sam and Jason go back to the MetroCourt. Sam is concerned about Alexis’s drinking. Jason says maybe Winston was there looking for Julian, but somehow, he’s connected to Morgan’s death.

Julian texts Winston saying his daughter and son-in-law are suspicious. The reply text says, “we know.”

Alexis goes to the dive bar. The bartender says last time she was there on December 21st, she stiffed him, and maybe she wants to take it easy tonight. Alexis looks surprised.

Carly tells Sonny that she’s going to stay the night. Sonny asks what about tomorrow. She tells him that she loves and misses him, but it’s all undecided. He says that he’s grateful for tonight. She says she is too.

Valentin tells Lulu and Dante that he and Nina are married. Lulu says that’s absurd, and he tells her that’s sweet (I laugh), but it’s all legal. They explain how they used the priest from Maxie’s wedding that didn’t happen. Valentin says it’s going to do Charlotte a world of good. Lulu implies that he tricked Nina, but Nina tells her that she’s being insulting, and she’s the one who asked Valentin.

Sam asks Jason what he’s thinking. Jason wonders how Winston didn’t know that Alexis and Julian were divorced. Something doesn’t add up.

Julian gets a text from Winston saying they’ll take care of it. He asks what Winston means by that, and what is he going to do?

Franco tells Elizabeth that he’s not giving up, but maybe until the police come up with another lead, they shouldn’t see each other. He says he’s not a praying man, but he’s going to pray this isn’t the end for them, and that the truth comes out.

Alexis suddenly remembers the night she was there. And seeing Tom again. Ohhhh….

Tomorrow, Alexis wants to confess something to Diane, Anna wants Andre to help her find out the truth, and Nina wonders what will happen when Claudette comes back.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Please, God, can we stop talking about Erika’s lack of underwear? Hmm…maybe she left them in Lala’s Range Rover.

Erika has been working on her new video, Expensive. She talks to her assistant, or whoever he is, about the underwear that Dorit gave her. In her interview, she asks again why PK didn’t say something about it at the time. She thinks that Dorit is the type of woman who takes the fun out of hanging out with women. I don’t know what’s more annoying, the relentlessness of the topic or her ignorance as to why a man who doesn’t know her well would rather mention it to his wife than directly to her. Although, I guess she thinks he should have said something to his wife immediately? Omg, I can’t believe I’m even going on about this.

Dorit and PK are having a dinner party. LisaR has been invited, since she’s by herself while the rest of the family is off doing work things. Wow. Lisa is wandering around with a bottle in one hand and a glass of wine in the other. Apparently, she was met at the door with a drink, but you’d think someone would have relieved her of the hostess gift. No surprise, the food looks fabulous. I’ve always been an adventurous eater, so I get obsessed with the food at these parties.

LisaR talks about her apology to LisaV. PK tells her that there’s an old saying that you can’t put your head on someone else’s shoulders. I like it. Some guy named Elliot puts his two cents in, and it’s very poetic, but neither LisaR nor I understand anything that he’s saying. In her interview, Lisa thinks that someone filled PK in on the conflict since he knows more than she’s told him. NOOO! We flash back to the origination of the conflict, where LisaR used the M-word. Lisa mentions that her father had recently passed away, and PK suggests that might have influenced her perception. In her interview, Lisa isn’t liking that he’s analyzing how she feels, although I think he’s just trying to be nice. IMO, everyone is reading way too much into everything.

Lisa tells everyone that Eileen has lost six people in her family in the past year, and never told anyone about her mother dying just prior to the reunion. Lisa knew, but by some miracle never told anyone. PK doesn’t think Eileen’s silence was fair to the others, and Dorit agrees, but Lisa tells them it was survival for her. In her interview, Lisa thinks it’s odd that they’re giving their opinion on how anyone else should grieve, and I have to agree with her on that.

Mauricio has gotten a speeding ticket in the mail from driving with Alexia in the Ferrari. 600 Euros, whatever that adds up to. So is he supposed to send cash in an envelope to Italy or what? Kyle figures that he was driving about 112 miles an hour, and threatens to cut something off if it happens again. Here’s a hint – it’s not his arm. She says it’s been a real adjustment with the two of them working in different places on the planet lately.

Eileen, who is wearing the most magnificent dress ever in the opening credits, talks about Vince having been a tennis pro, which I had forgotten. He placed 25th, which is probably millions ahead of me. She tells Vince that she got a text from LisaR telling her all about the dinner party, and what Dorit and PK’s opinions were in regard to her keeping her mother’s death to herself. She doesn’t get why they’re judging her behavior, or how they linked it to the conflict with LisaV when her mother passed away after that. She thinks they’re trying to justify LisaV’s behavior.

Harrison! En route to somewhere, LisaV and Kyle go through whose husband might be shaggable, but Kyle asks why she’d downgrade. They arrive at a skincare facility, where Kyle gets a laser treatment on her face. After Kyle is finished, Lisa gets some kind of neck thing done, and they discuss vaginal rejuvenation. One of the assistants brings out a “probe” that looks like a huge laboratory test tube, and I don’t even want to know. Neither does Lisa, btw.

Erika and LisaR go to a Pilates studio run by Vidal Sassoon’s daughter. They use the machines, and it looks difficult. In her interview, Erika says that people think just because you have money, you don’t have to work hard to look good. I’ve never thought that, but I think it does give you more options. Afterwards, they stroll over to where Lisa first met Harry – Optical Connection. How romantic.

Dorit meets Eileen for a walk on the beach. It doesn’t happen though, because it’s windy and Eileen is wearing a dress. Which is what I always wear for a walk on the beach. In her interview, Dorit thanks Eileen for wearing underwear. Eileen invites Dorit out to Malibu for lunch with Camille Grammer, and they discuss the escape room event. Dorit thinks there was tension between herself and Erika. Eileen feels that Dorit blindsided Erika with the panties, and Erika felt like everyone was in on the joke except her.

Eileen brings up what was discussed at Dorit’s dinner party about her mother’s passing, and how she didn’t tell anyone. Dorit says she doesn’t remember the conversation. I’m not sure if she’s that scatterbrained or if she’s trying to avoid the topic. She doesn’t get what the context was, which flusters Eileen. She tries to explain further, but gets nowhere. In her interview, Dorit says that Eileen wants to give credence to something that apparently wasn’t that important. Eileen thinks the more she tries to clarify things, the more confusing she’s making them. Somehow, she manages to get her point across. I think.

Eden Sassoon, LisaR and Erika go out to lunch. Eden says her father created the “bob” haircut, but wasn’t that popular in the 1920s? Eden tells Lisa that her hair is iconic and to never change. Really? She talks about her younger sister dying in her 30s of an overdose, and tells stories about hanging out with celebrities in the 80s. Lisa invites her to Kyle’s game night, since the Richards sisters were part of the pack way back when.

Kyle drops off lunch for Mauricio and two of their daughters, who are working at his office. He’s excited about the girls working with him. Kyle says that she and Mauricio are having a hard time finding balance, and talks about making marriage and family being a priority.

Camille has a new home, and Eileen comes bearing a gigantic plant. In her interview, Camille says she doesn’t know if the ice will ever thaw between her and Kelsey, and I wonder if she’s gearing up to be on next season. Dorit arrives bringing a gigantic bottle of wine, and Erika brings a pretty large box of…something. The ladies go outside to eat.

Erika talks about her latest video and explains the process. In her interview, Dorit seems to think that Erika’s career is just a hobby, comparing it to Boy George’s gig. Even though Erika just had her ninth number one single. Dorit thinks that Erika doesn’t have much “performer allure” (?) in normal conversation, and is kind of reserved. They talk about being in your 40s, which Dorit seems to think brings confidence. Erika laughs because Dorit has only been 40 for a week. Eileen thinks you care less about what other people think and that it’s emancipating.

Dorit brings up what Eileen had asked her about the dinner party. I just hate how they beat things to death on this show. In her interview, Eileen thinks Dorit is trying to make her [sic] a problem when she isn’t one. Eileen interrupts Dorit, who asks Eileen to let her finish.

Next time, Dorit feels like she’s in the hot seat, another game night, Eileen tells Dorit she talks to much, and Kim Richards and LisaR go at it. Ought to be good.

The Haves and the Have Nots

I had to attend a dinner at a neighbor’s house, so I missed the first half of the show. Why OWN’s programs aren’t repeated immediately afterward, like just about every other station’s, is a mystery to me. The next one is at 3 am, and I’m not making it until then. The only two things of real import are that Kathryn has Veronica locked in the Cryer mansion and Justin now knows all about Quincy.

At Benny’s place (at least for right now), Hanna hassles Benny about not eating, but then says his appetite will come back. He wonders why she’s not mad about him, Candace, and the whole house thing. He says Candace is his sister, so he tries, but she is who she is. He says at least she paid the mortgage on Hanna’s house. Hanna tells him that she has a peace that passes all understanding.

She tells Benny she has $300 left and they can go to a hotel for a while. She tells him that Candace will never learn. Benny wonders why she’d do something like this, referring to her mortgaging everything, but Hanna says as long as he trusts in her, he won’t be able to believe in anything higher.

Candace knocks at the door. She tells Benny she can’t get the money, but she’s been offered cash to turn herself in, and thinks maybe then they can keep the mortgage. The other thing that might be important is that Oscar has offered her a place in some grand scheme, so maybe that’s where she’s planning on getting money from. She says she wasn’t expecting Hanna to be there, and Hanna says only until tomorrow. She asks what Candace would be turning herself in for, but Candace won’t say. Benny tells Hanna that it was for falsifying documents. Candace thinks she can change the banker’s mind. Hanna asks if she’s going to sleep with him, and Candace gets sarcastic, telling her yes, and if that doesn’t work, she’ll make the rounds of all of the bankers and their families.

Hanna doesn’t believe she’ll turn herself in, because that would mean taking responsibility. She tells Benny to pack his clothes before he’s thrown out on the street. Benny tells them he’ll just leave. Hanna says if Candace doesn’t go to jail for this, she will for Quincy. No one ever saw him come out of her house. Candace asks why she’s so interested. Benny says he’s not sitting by while she goes to jail, and Hanna asks how she’s going to learn anything. Candace says Hanna can live the way she wants to, but there’s more to life for her. Hannah agrees that there’s more to life.

Candace says she has some money in a safe. She’ll get it out, and if she has to go away, that’s the way it goes. She tells Benny she’ll be back, and leaves. Hanna tells him that she doesn’t get it.

David meets Charles, telling him congratulations. He thinks Charles will be the next president. David says his situation is hot, and it’s not going to help his campaign being seen with him. He says he’s sorry about Charles’s wife, and Charles says sorry about David’s pending divorce.

He goes back to the bar and sits with Erica. She asks how David knows Charles, and he tells her that he’d met him when he was running for senate. David gets a call from the county jail and steps away to take it. It’s Jim. David tells him if he apologizes to the judge, he’ll reconsider bail. Jim doesn’t want to, but David says it’s the only way. Jim says he needs to get War out of there too. He’s an ally, but in for drug possession. Jim doesn’t want to explain further, so David says he’ll get Wally on it.

David goes back to Erica, saying it’s just the two of them, and she says until his phone rings again. She’s cool with it though.

Kathryn tells Veronica she can be ruthless and cunning, and asks if she forgot that. Veronica says no, and Kathryn says she won’t now. Dammit. I know I missed some good stuff. Kathryn asks if they’re going to continue playing this game. She says it will just drive her further into this insanity, but that would be a good defense. She asks why Veronica did that to her son, and how she knew he was in jail. Veronica says she has clients from all walks of life and many sources. Kathryn wants to know about Wyatt’s cellmate.

Veronica says he was murdered. Kathryn asks what his name was and Veronica tells her, Milton. Kathryn asks what he was in for, and Veronica says murder. Kathryn says that Wyatt was assaulted as a child and says she knew it. Veronica tells her that it wasn’t supposed to go that far; she just wanted him to be scared. There’s a knife a little too close to Kathryn’s hand, and I’m guessing she’s going to use it at some point. Veronica says Jim was protecting Wyatt too much, and Wyatt needed to be frightened. She says she would never do anything to intentionally hurt him, and Kathryn asks how that worked out. Veronica says not good. Kathryn says not good for Wyatt, and not good for her at all.

Veronica asks what she means. Kathryn says she knows when Veronica is lying and telling the truth, and she knows how desperate Veronica is. Veronica apologizes, and says to let her fix it, adding that they’re friends. Kathryn says they’re friends all right. Veronica’s mother was a whore and her father played the numbers. She’s one of five children who all hate her guts. She needed a scholarship from Kathryn’s father, and she knows what Veronica did to get it. Yuck. She’s also technically in the red and in debt with the bank. Kathryn says she’s on the board of the bank and has power. She tells Veronica that the life she knew is going to be over, and tells her to leave.

Veronica says the doors are locked. Kathryn tells her that she’s going to realize the grave mistake she made putting that animal in with her son. She grabs the knife (called it), and says Veronica needs to die. Veronica runs and Kathryn catches up, slashing at her and cutting her.

Next time, Benny fights with Wyatt, Candace tells Justin he doesn’t want to go down that road, and Veronica and Kathryn struggle for the knife.

Ladies of London Quote

💋   If everyone’s calling you an a-hole, maybe you’re being an a-hole.Joan Collins Sophie referring to Caroline #1.

 

December 27, 2016 – A Ship Called Reincarnation, an Escape Room in Beverly Hills & Speed Londoning

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

Wow. The celebrities have been dropping like flies. Carrie Fisher just passed away. Not quite as much of a shock as George Michael or Alan Thicke, but still, wow.

General Hospital

Valentin curses his life. Nina comes running in, and he tells her he lost something.

Anna is having coffee at the MetroCourt and Laura joins her. She wants to follow up about Valentin. Anna wonders what the Christmas thing was about, and Laura says he’s playing with them and needs to be neutralized. Funny, she never uses words like that.

Curtis and Jason meet Sam at Kelly’s. Jason tells her they’re no longer convinced that Julian is behind the bombing.

Winston tells the boss that he thinks Julian and Alexis have assumed relations and Julian is no longer convalescing. What? Ha-ha! Nobody uses the words like the villains use on this show. He says that they need to keep Julian in line. He needs to be reminded that there are consequences to any disobedience.

Alexis wakes to Julian’s face, but it’s just a dream. He calls to her from downstairs. Holy! She takes a drink before she even gets out of bed. I went to a party last weekend, and even now, just the thought of that makes my stomach turn.

Curtis tells Sam that they haven’t ruled Julian out officially, and they think he knows more than he’s saying. Jason says whoever did this used the van and deliberately left it to be found. Sam asks if they think it’s a set up, and Curtis says they’re not ruling out any possibilities. Curtis leaves to do “that thing.” Jason says he thinks both Julian and Sonny were set up.

Alexis asks Julian if it isn’t enough that he ruined her life and blackmailed her, does she really have to clock in? He says anyone would be worried if they knew how hard she was hitting the bottle. She asks if he doesn’t have someone to answer to, like a boss. Speaking of which…

Winston tells the boss that they have other means at their disposal, and he’ll deal with it right away. Maybe Winston is nuts and he’s really the boss. I don’t really think so, but this one-sided conversation is getting old.

Nina says she’ll help Valentin look, but he says he overreacted. He tells her that it’s an old photograph.

Anna tells Laura not to do anything, because she’s working with the WSB. Laura says she’s running out of time. Lulu is going to fight for custody, but if the court rules against her, Laura is afraid of what Lulu will do. Anna says Lulu should be careful or she’ll lose all access to Charlotte. Laura says if Lulu loses, she’ll eliminate Valentin herself. Man, Laura is feisty today.

Jason tells Sam that Sonny had controlled Port Charles for over twenty years, and Julian came along two years ago and took over. He wonders what if someone else wanted the territory? He talks about the pawn shop, and Sam says she’ll help to investigate. Lucas walks in. I forgot he’s even on this show, it’s been so long. Curtis calls Jason who tells him the pawn shop is closed. He’s going to track down Winston, but in the meantime the shop is unattended. Jason says he’ll get on that and jets. Lucas asks Sam about Julian’s accident, and Sam says she’s sorry she bothered visiting him.

Julian tells Alexis that he’s being supportive, giving Alexis someone to talk to. He says he’s the only one who knows how terrified she is that she won’t get back to where she was, and drinking isn’t going to get her out of it.

Anna says that Laura has every right to sacrifice herself, but they should make sure it doesn’t come to that. She promises there’s always something to be found with someone like Valentin.

Nina asks what’s up with the photo. Valentin says it’s a relic from his past, and it reminds him how far he’s come and how far he has to go.

Laura asks Anna what she’d do if Valentin came after Robin or Emma. Laura sees Lulu and says good-by to Anna. Andre arrives and takes Laura’s place at Anna’s table. He says Anna’s message sounded urgent.

Lulu joins Laura talk about Rocco’s new Christmas puppy. Lulu says the only thing missing on Christmas was Charlotte. Laura says she spoke to Scotty. Lulu wonders what court would let Valentin keep Charlotte. Laura says plenty of courts would do just that.

Anna shows Andre the photo, and tells him that an associate found it in Valentin’s possession. Even though the picture is from her early WSB days, she says Robert told her that Valentin never went through the WSB program. Andre says he could have gotten the photo and information from someone else who knew her back in the day.

Valentin tells Nina that the photo was sentimental. She says he’s doing it again – the mysterious thing. He drops a hint and pulls back, and it doesn’t work for her anymore. He apologizes, and says he doesn’t trust people very easily. She asks if they don’t both have to take a leap of faith and trust each other if they’re going to have a relationship.

Laura tells Lulu that they have to come up with a plan. Lulu says she’s Charlotte’s mom and wants Charlotte with her. She says she can offer Charlotte a safe, stable environment, while Valentin is a single parent and a murderer. Laura says that Charlotte is old enough for the court to take her wishes into consideration. They need to have their best strategy to win before they go to war. She suggests striking a deal and sharing custody.

Alexis tells Julian that she doesn’t interfere with his publishing business, and to stop acting like he cares. She says he’s delusional if he thinks you can love your wife and then try to kill her. He says what about when she kissed him last night, or is she going to deny it happened? Um…didn’t they already talk all about that last night?

Sam tells Lucas that ever since she got pregnant, Danny keeps asking when Lucas and Brad are having kids. Lucas says that Julian would want to place himself in his hypothetical child’s life, and he doesn’t want that.

Alexis tells Julian the kiss meant nothing, and unfortunately, she wasn’t drunk. She was trying to give him a tiny taste of how he treats her. Julian is about to tell her something that’s supposedly a bombshell, when the doorbell rings. It’s Winston. He says he’s there to see Julian and Alexis asks if he works for Julian. Winston says he works with him.

Jason lets himself into the pawn shop. The boss watches on the monitor. Curtis watches as Alexis lets Winston in, and says that’s just weird. Jason checks out the model ship.

Sam shows Lucas pictures of Danny on her phone, and he sees the Chinese food bag by accident. She says it’s just something she’s working on. He tells her that the characters don’t say “good taste” in Chinese.

Jason remembers Winston talking about the ship and how he’s holding it for a customer.

Curtis wonders what the owner of a shady ass pawn shop has going on with Alexis. He hears on the scanner that an armed and dangerous guy has broken into the pawn shop.

Winston comments that Julian has a lovely wife. She says ex-wife, and Winston says Julian must be doing something right. He asks for privacy, and Alexis says he doesn’t need to ask twice. After she’s gone, Winston says that Julian didn’t say anything about relocating, and keeping secrets doesn’t look good. The boss has asked him to show Julian something they’ve been keeping from him.

Andre tells Anna that one of her former classmates or instructors could have given Valentin the information. She doesn’t believe it. She says that Valentin enjoys provoking her, and everything is calculated. Whatever happened between them is personal to him.

Nina tells Valentin that she’s the one taking a big risk. If she has to trust him, he has to trust her. He says he’s spent his life not trusting anyone.

Lulu can’t believe what Laura just asked her to do. Laura says she’s afraid of the consequences Lulu will face if she doesn’t win. She’s asking the court to place Charlotte with a stranger. Lulu says that’s why she needs custody right now, so they can bond. Laura says strike a deal so she can do that, and they can bide their time until the circumstances favor them, and then pull the rug out from under Valentin. She tells Lulu that they have to be patient, but the WSB will get enough information to put him away. Lulu says if Valentin was a good man, she’d be glad to share custody, but she thinks Charlotte is in danger, and one way or another she’ll win.

Nina asks Valentin about the photograph. He says pain is useful and can keep him from making the same mistake again. There was someone he trusted, and he let her see the real him, and she made him pay a steep price. (Anna?) The only one he’s trusted since is Charlotte. Nina says there’s good news – if he let Charlotte in, maybe he’ll let someone else in.

Sam asks Lucas when he started speaking Chinese, and he says he just speaks a little. She asks him to translate. He says it seems to be saying “reincarnation.” I laugh because I totally misunderstood. I guess Good Taste is the restaurant name. I thought Lucas was inferring that the characters were not in good taste and cursed you out or something.

Curtis calls Jason and tells him to get out of the pawn shop; the cops are on their way. We hear sirens and Jason says, too late.

Winston shows Julian security footage of when Alexis hit him. Oh please, can we see him fly in the air again? Nope. Julian says she called 911, and wonders why he was told the footage was unusable. Winston says maybe someone got there first and took out the good parts. He wonders about Alexis’s standing with the bar association if this comes out. Julian says if he harms Alexis, and begins to threaten him, but Winston says Julian won’t let that happen, right? He lets himself out, and Alexis comes back downstairs.

Laura tells Lulu that the next step is for her to sit down with her lawyer and husband and plot the case. Lulu is surprised that Laura isn’t fighting her harder. Laura says bottom line, she has Lulu’s back, and Charlotte belongs with her no matter what.

Nina tells Valentin that they have to look for the photo, but he says someone took it. She wonders if it’s Charlotte, and he says someone else.

Anna tells Andre that she has a bit of a memory. She was young and walking down a corridor, and hears whistling – the same tune that Valentin taught Charlotte. Andre says with the intense training, her memory might not be reliable. Anna starts to tear up. She says even if it’s just a fragment or out of context, she has to get to the end of the memory. She has to walk down the corridor and find out what’s behind the door. She thinks the answers will tumble out when it’s opened. She wants Andre to hypnotize her.

Jason and Curtis come back to Kelly’s. Sam asks what’s wrong. Jason says good thing Curtis has a police scanner because he almost got caught. Curtis tells her that he called 911 to report a scary clown incident down the block to divert them. He says obviously, someone saw Jason.

A cop arrives at the pawn shop. He asks Winston about the security footage, but Winston says the cameras are just for show and haven’t worked in years. He says that the sirens must have scared the intruder off and nothing was taken.

Jason tells Sam that it wasn’t a total loss; he snagged the model ship. It has the same Chinese characters on it that are on the bag. Sam tells them that it means reincarnation.

Winston tells the boss that the model boat is missing.

Curtis wonders if the person Winston met with this morning might give them information. He tells them Winston was with Sam’s mama.

Alexis asks what part of Julian’s work includes her. She wonders why he’s so tense. Julian says if he didn’t know any better, he’d say she was worried about him. She tells him not to flatter himself.

Winston says that Julian has been put in his place for the time being, but he and the boss have a more urgent problem. It’s time to do something about Jason Morgan.

Because the shows are out of sync, there’s no preview, just the extra-long credits where they actually show everyone who worked on GH, which usually happens on Christmas Eve.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Erika is going to the CBS studio to discuss her part on The Young and the Restless, and she’s nervous. In her interview, she talks about when she first moved to LA and went on auditions, and how she’s a showgirl rather than an actress. She makes a good point in saying everyone hits their strides at different times, and she hates when people give you a shelf life, like if you don’t do something by a certain age, you’re done. Says who? she says. You go, Erika Jayne!

Kyle and LisaV meet for drinks. Lisa tells Kyle that West Hollywood is supporting her fight against the Yulin dog meat trade, and she wants to put political pressure on China. In her interview, she says she wants to make it her life’s work to stop dog torture. I love Lisa and want to know when I can move in. They joke about Erika not wearing underwear at the pre-white party kiki. Kyle thinks Dorit is just a little annoyed and not ready to let it go. Lisa says she likes her knickers. Me too.

Erika arrives at the studio, and Eileen meets her. She tells Eileen she doesn’t want to let her down. Executive producer Mal meets with them. We find out that Erika was (loosely) named after Erika Kane on All My Children. They discuss what kind of part she would like. She says she’s more like the hooker next door than the girl next door. He asks if they would like a scene together, and they would. In her interview, Erika jokes that she doesn’t want to single-handedly sink the show.

Dorit and PK take daughter Phoenix to the doctor. She wears a headband because she favored one side while sleeping, and it started to affect her skull. Dorit is hoping they’re getting closer to being able to take it off. They look at before and after pictures, and the doctor says she’s done wearing it. Dorit is ecstatic.

LisaR goes to do her QVC thing. She started with them after her stores tanked, and she has a “today’s special value” going on, which means you sell during a 24-hour period. I gotta say, the duster sweaters she’s selling are nice. She says her hustle has just begun, and you only get an hour’s sleep on a day like this. She’s happy that Harry is at the point where he no longer has to work, because there were so many years where he took parts just to support the family.

Lisa calls Harry. He wonders why she’s selling sweaters in the middle of summer, but she says she’s halfway to her goal. He admits they’re cool sweaters. Told you. Even Harry thinks so. (#WhatDidHarryDo) She asks if he talked to their daughters who are loose in NYC. He says he texted and tracked them, and they were where they were supposed to be. Like a kid can’t figure out a way around that.

Kyle just got back from the callback session for her show. She calls Mauricio and tells him how surreal it is seeing people playing herself and people she knows. She thought Portia was too young to audition, and it would also be too strange. She’s happy that they’ll be filming close to home, and talks about how difficult it is for her and Mauricio to be in the same place at once lately.

Eileen calls QVC saying she wants a sweater in every color. She nicely plugs the line while she’s on the phone.

Giggy! Harrison! LisaV and Ken visit their dog rescue. The manager thanks her for the donation. In her interview, Lisa explains that they started the foundation, and use both donations and their own money. Lisa wants one of the dogs, and Ken says every animal she sees, she wants. She says well, she did marry him. In her interview, she talks about how Ken made a U-turn in the middle of the highway to rescue a dog when they were first dating, and she knew she was going to marry him. He helps groom one of the dogs. They’re also doing a documentary and entering a resolution into Congress about stopping dog torture. Lisa says her life has gone to the dogs, and wonders how many you need before you look like a crazy person. The manager says she’s the wrong person to ask. So am I.

Dorit gets together with LisaR and Eileen, who go nuts over her shoes. Lisa calls her taste “exotic,” and Eileen is shocked that she just had a baby and looks so good. Dorit tells them about Phoenix’s skull problem, and that she’s officially on the other side of it. They talk about the various traumas their children have put them through.

They discuss Erika inviting them to an escape room experience. Eileen suggests no one drink beforehand. Dorit tells them about Erika’s lack of underwear at the kiki. She says she thought that Erika was wearing nude-colored panties, and then realized how hard her husband was staring. Not that she blames him. She says he told her later that it was uncomfortable, even though he couldn’t look away. In her interview, Lisa thinks Dorit is overreacting, and it would be easy to forget about crossing your legs. Um…I don’t think I’d forget. Lisa thinks they’re misjudging Erika because of her looks, and Eileen doesn’t think she was flashing on purpose. Dorit plans on giving Erika some panties, and Eileen wants to witness that.

Kyle meets Dorit for some shopping in one of those rich people stores that has like five dresses. Dorit tells her about having drinks with Eileen and LisaR. They talk about Erika, and Kyle says she doesn’t think Erika did anything on purpose. Dorit tells Kyle about what PK said. In her interview, Dorit says she thinks Erika has a good sense of humor, and buys a pair of lacy panties for her. Kyle thinks it could go terribly wrong, but wants to be there when it happens. What is up with these women?

Eileen tells Erika that Mal wants her to read, and the writers will come up with something for her.  The girls all meet at the escape room place. Dorit says she’s giving Erika a cheeky gift, since they’ve all seen her pretty little puss. Erika isn’t happy about PK seeing the view, and wonders why he didn’t say something. Well, he doesn’t really know Erika, and it’s up there with telling someone their fly is open. Worse. I’m pretty good with things like that, but not everyone is.

Erika takes the undies in good humor. Dorit says the whole thing took on a life of his own. Erika tells her that the only reason she wasn’t wearing underwear was because of the dress. In her interview, Dorit wonders how you wouldn’t know that you’re flashing someone. Erika tells her the more you talk about sh*t the worse it gets, so be careful. Dorit wonders if that’s a threat. She tells Erika that she didn’t want it to be a thing, and they act friendly. LisaV arrives. Erika tells her about the underwear, and Lisa says she already heard about it.

The host gives them instructions on finding clues, etc. It’s cool, like an old, weird apothecary – their adventure is called “The Alchemist” – but looks complicated like a Survivor challenge. They break into teams. LisaV is with Eileen and Dorit. In her interview, Lisa says that she’s escaping from both the room and Eileen. LisaR thinks she’s going to be trapped forever. It looks like fun, and they do pretty well, making it out of the room. Eileen is proud that she and LisaV teamed together, considering where they were a few months ago.

The ladies go for drinks afterward. They’re very proud of themselves. They talk about Kim’s daughter having a baby. In her interview, Kyle says the baby couldn’t come at a better time for Kim, who’s doing well with her sobriety. Kyle says they’re all starving because they’re not used to using their brains so much. LisaV asks what happened, since she wasn’t there for the delivery of the underwear. Omg, let’s keep beating that dead kitty horse. Lisa is disappointed that there isn’t more to the story. Erika says the only thing she feels badly that PK didn’t say something, and Dorit says what I did. Erika says it’s all good. Dorit tells her that they can always have a chat about it, but Erika thinks there’s nothing else to say. In her interview, Kyle says Erika seems cool, but probably wants to take this bitch down. They order another Margarita round. LisaV asks if they’re done with the conversation, and both Dorit and Erika say, “I am.” Wondering about Dorit though…

Next time, LisaR tells the others about Eileen losing her mother, Erika says someone (Dorit?) takes the fun out of hanging out with women, and the no underwear saga continues. 👙

Ladies of London mention. Caroline #1 thinks that her family should just blindly back her even if she does the worst thing in the world, so she’s very disappointed in Alexis Carrington Sophie. Her husband explains that what Caroline is doing is like drinking poison and expecting the other guy to die. Julie is worried that because her daughter likes coffee, the second she goes to university in Scotland, she’ll hole up in a coffeehouse and smoke marijuana. Huh? Marissa’s husband wants to move back to the states, but she’s not too keen on it. She says she’s had enough adventure this year to last her a lifetime. Juliet’s hair keeps getting lighter…and so does her brain since she’s been hanging around with Caroline #1. Caroline #1 actually surprises me by being less of an a-hole this week, finally listening to Adela, who’s going through a bitter and stressful time with her ex. Although it looks like she might make up for that next week, when she’s mean to Caroline #2. Who, btw, is writing a new cookbook, and tells a lovely story about how her passion for food came from her mother and grandmother, talking about picking mushrooms and berries in the forest. We also get a look at the estate she’s responsible for running. Sigh…

📻 And the soundtrack tonight was excellent!

December 20, 2016 – Tom Uncaged, Erika Sans Underwear & Caroline #1 Unhinged

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Elizabeth introduces Tom’s brother, Seth, to Franco. Seth hasn’t seen Tom since he stopped working at GH. He knows Franco threatened Tom, and Elizabeth asks Franco if he did anything.

Tom gets out of the cage. He tries to get the shock collar off.

Laura talks to herself, practicing a thank you speech. Doc hears her and asks if she needs a psychiatrist. She says she’s trying to come up with something coherent to say to the committee. He says the meeting is just a formality for her joining the hospital board. He suddenly realizes she’ll be his boss. Well, kinda, but not really. That’s still Monica.

Anna flashes back to someone whistling the song that Valentin taught Charlotte. She asks Charlotte if she can tell her anything more about the song, like how Valentin learned it.

Lulu tells Dante she has no intention of giving Charlotte back.

The alarms next to Hayden’s bed go off. She’s not breathing.

Tom finally gets the collar off and kicks some things around. He tries to open the door, but it’s locked.

Seth says Franco came over to his house, which is breaking and entering, never mind the assault. He says that Tom always answers his texts, and unless he gets some answers, he’s going to the police. Code blue is called, and Elizabeth jets. Franco says he’s sorry he resorted to violence, since violence is almost never the answer, but on the other hand, can Seth blame him for wanting to protect Elizabeth? Seth says he can’t.

Lulu asks Charlotte to come sit with her and Dante. Charlotte wants to stay with Emma, but Anna convinces her to go. Emma asks why Anna keeps asking about the song, and she says she just thinks she’s heard it before. She asks how she and Charlotte are getting along. Emma says they had fun, but she feels sorry for Charlotte because she hasn’t seen her mommy in a long time.

Lulu suggests that she and Charlotte look at the Christmas decorations, but Charlotte says she did that already. Lulu asks if she’d like to go to their house, but she says she wants to go home. This is going well.

Laura says she can separate her personal and professional life. Lucy comes along and congratulates Laura on being on the board. She mentions that Laura will be Doc’s boss.

Finn uses the defibrillator on Hayden. He screams at Hayden to start fighting, but nothing happens. Elizabeth tells Finn it’s been too long, but he refuses to quit. Her pulse comes back. Elizabeth says there might be complications, but Tracy thinks she’ll probably come back more irritating than she was before. Finn tells Hayden not to make a liar out of Tracy. He asks her to come back for him. He thinks they have a chance to “you know,” and says they have unfinished business. He says, sweetheart, come back to me, and Hayden opens her eyes. She asks if he just called her sweetheart.

Seth tells Franco if he finds out that Tom met with foul play, he’ll be the first stop. Franco says maybe he’s out on a bender, and thinks Seth should be more concerned that Tom is out causing trouble.

Tom yells his head off while the music continues to play. He digs around until he finds a paint scraper. He tries to open the door with it.

Lucy tells Laura not to play favorites just because she and Doc are in love. She steers Laura toward the meeting, babbling about what Laura needs to know.

Anna tells Emma that Charlotte has her father too, but Emma says Anna doesn’t like him. She tells Anna that Charlotte loves her father. Emma is starting to remind me of a young Margaret O’Brien.

Lulu asks if Charlotte wants to go ice skating, but she repeats that she wants to go home. Dante suggests that she help them decorate the tree, but that’s also a no. Valentin walks in and Charlotte runs to him.

Hayden wants to know why everyone’s looking at her. Tracy says she died, and Finn says just a little. She says she must be in hell, but Elizabeth says it’s just GH. She talks about seeing a white light, and when they all go, really? she says no. Ha-ha! Tracy tells her that Elizabeth helped save her, and Hayden says she guesses they’re even now. Elizabeth leaves to do nurse stuff. Finn says he was so afraid he’d die on her, he never thought of her dying on him.

Seth tells Franco that Tom still has bad impulses. Franco says he’s done some bad things, but there’s someone in his life who inspires him now, and he’s going to keep trying. Seth says maybe Tom will meet someone like that, but Franco says he already has, and he’s not going to do anything to risk losing her because of someone like Tom. He suggests Seth go home, and says Tom will probably show up by tomorrow. After he’s gone, Elizabeth tells Franco that she heard what he said and hugs him. She says Hayden almost died, and she realizes how much time she’s wasted.

Tom has no luck getting the door open, but is able to stop the music. He screams for help.

Emma asks why Anna doesn’t like Charlotte’s dad. Anna says she just has a couple of questions about him because he’s a mystery she needs to solve. Emma says she can go on a playdate to Windemere and get her some answers. Already a budding spy like her parents.

Charlotte asks Valentin if they’re going home. He says he needs to talk to Lulu and asks her to sit at another table. Lulu asks why he’s there, and he says Nina was concerned that she might not return Charlotte. She says Charlotte is her daughter too, and he’s interfering with their time together. He tells Lulu that they have to come up with an equitable way to share her. He goes back to Charlotte, and Lulu tells Dante that he’s playing games. She says she’s going to take Charlotte and run. Dante is like, bad idea, and she says she’s going to fight for full custody.

Finn tells Hayden that her organs are shutting down, and Hayden asks how they stop that. He says he has an idea but needs more information. He thinks he’s discovered a cure, but if it doesn’t cure her, it could kill her.

Anna tells Emma that under no circumstances is she to spy on Charlotte and her father. She’ll get answers herself without Emma’s help. She says Emma isn’t going to Windemere without supervision either. Valentin comes over to introduce himself to Emma, and asks if she’d like to help Charlotte eat some cookies. She goes off to join Emma, and Valentin tells Anna he hopes Emma and Charlotte can be friends despite how she feels about him. Anna says that’s fine, and he’s lovely with his daughter. She asks him about the song and if it has lyrics. He says they’re in Russian, and asks if she speaks it. She says he already knows she does.

Dante tells Lulu that she should rethink fighting for full custody. He says Charlotte barely knows her.

Elizabeth doesn’t want to keep herself at a distance, and end up thinking what might have been. She tells Franco that she doesn’t want to waste any more time not trusting him. Franco says if she really ever wants to talk about his past, that’s fine. She says he’s changed and so has she. They kiss. He says he has to go, and she says that’s the story of her life. He tells her that he wants Christmas to be perfect, but Elizabeth says that she’ll settle for peaceful and uninterrupted. He says he’ll make her believe in Santa again. Ho-ho-ho.

Tom continues to holler. He says nobody is going to help him. He picks up a chair and puts it down again, sitting in it.

Finn tells Hayden that he was going to test the cure on himself, but she needs it more. She asks if he can make more of it, and he says probably. He says they need to make a decision now, because if she flatlines again, she won’t make it back a second time. She asks what happens to him, and he says they’ll figure it out. He asks if she wants to take the chance.

Laura tells Lucy that her first act will be to secure the funds for the Nurses Ball. Lucy says for once a board member with the sense God gave a goose. She tells them to get back to what they were doing before her interruption, and if anyone can handle an employee romance, it’s them. Doc tells Laura that he’d put her on the spot when he told her he loved her, and wonders if they can just continue to move forward She says she doesn’t know if that’s possible.

Dante tells Lulu that it’s too early to fight for full custody, and they should see how it goes. She says she can’t let a murderer raise her daughter. Dante says to look at it from Charlotte’s perspective. If Lulu takes away her father, she’s not going to score any points.

Valentin and Anna discuss speaking Russian. Valentin tells Anna that the phrase he learned as, “Don’t give up” really translated to “Hold your tail as a weapon.” She seems to recognize this, but doesn’t say anything.

Elizabeth asks Hayden how she’s doing. Hayden says she’s just in time to say good-by before Finn gives her what could be a miracle drug or a lethal injection.

Franco gets back, and Tom has returned to the cage. He tells Tom that Santa came early for him this year; he’s letting him go. I would not trust Tom as far as I could kick him, and I think he probably has a weapon.

Laura says ever since Doc said he loved her, she hasn’t been able to think of anything else. She wakes up with a happy feeling for no other reason. She says she finds herself smiling throughout the day. She doesn’t know if it’s the right time, but she can’t hold back anymore – she loves him too. He tells her he loves her and they kiss. Lots of that happening today. She realizes she’s going to be late, and Doc says go get ‘em.

Dante says if Lulu wants what’s best for Charlotte, she’ll wait and let Charlotte spend time with her. Anna comes to get Dante. Valentin tells Charlotte to say good-by to Lulu and thank her. She hugs Lulu and runs off. Valentin tells Lulu that he’s sorry that they got off to a rough start.

Anna tells Dante that she’s certain she’s crossed paths with Valentin before, and it has to be when she was training for the WSB

Lulu tells Valentin that Charlotte will know her as her mother sooner than he thinks. She’s suing for full custody.

Franco tells Tom that after talking to Elizabeth, he wondered what he’s doing and that it’s wrong. Tom deserves to be punished, but it’s not Franco’s job. He tells him to leave Elizabeth alone and they can get on with their lives. He unlocks the cage and Tom gets out. He grabs Franco from behind and puts a cloth over his nose and mouth.

Elizabeth tells Hayden they’ll fight like the sisters they are for the rest of their lives. Tracy says it’s no fun putting her in her place when she’s down, so she has to fight to get better. Hayden tells Finn that if she makes it, she’ll never let him go. He says he’ll find a way to keep going and kisses her.

Tracy and Elizabeth watch as he gives her the shot.

Tomorrow, Sonny asks Jason what he knows, Tom turns the tables on Franco, and Heather wonders why Elizabeth would be visiting her.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

LisaR is going to NYC to visit one of her daughters who’s starting a modeling career.

Kyle is also there with her daughter Sophia. She goes to the city often, and rotates who she brings along, but says Sophia is most like her. They both have so much anxiety about everything, I’m surprised they can handle it.

LisaV visits Dorit with Harrison. She’s planning Ken’s next birthday, and wants some help in finding a gift. Last year, she got him a mini pony, but I think it was really for her. Dorit says Lisa brings out the fun in her, and they’re two peas in a pod.

Erika has some shows coming up and is also working on a new video. She comes to rehearsal and watches what the dancers have been working on so far. Her assistant gives her the schedule of the million things that need to be dealt with.

Dorit and LisaV go to a jewelry store to look at watches. Lisa sets Harrison on the counter and wipes his nose with her dress. Celebrities! They’re just like us! The clerk doesn’t bat an eye. Lisa is shown an over-blinged almost-a-million dollar, watch, but says if she buys it, she’ll have nothing left over for shoes. The perfect watch is found. Lisa likes Dorit because she isn’t super sensitive.

Kyle is opening a store in NYC since she did so well in the Hamptons. She takes a look at the space. LisaR joins her. Lisa says it’s a great area. It’s on the Upper East Side and Kyle says they’ll have to sell a lot of dresses to pay the rent. Truth! Kyle wants Harry to help out with some shelf-building. In her interview, Lisa explains that he’s handy that way, being too cheap to hire someone. Lisa says that Kyle will have to get in line, because everyone wants a piece of Harry.

LisaR talks to Kyle about making up with LisaV. Kyle says it’s good that LisaV said she wants to move on. In her interview, Kyle says that the things she’s gone through with LisaV are small in comparison with what went on with LisaR, but she thinks it’s all going to be put in a box and put away. In other words, swept under the rug.

Dorit’s baby has to wear a headband due to sleeping too much on one side and flattening her skull. (!) Dorit says she loves her kids, but depends on her nannies who are an extension of her. Her son arrives back from speech therapy. She’d started getting concerned when at 2, he wasn’t making an effort to speak. She’s worried that she’s not seeing as much progress as she’d like. He does want to drive the car though, so maybe he’s not as behind as she thinks. She says it would be easier to get Boy George to date women than negotiate with a two-year-old. Another truth!

Eileen and Vince are going to her mother’s house for a final good-by. In her interview, Eileen chokes up, talking about how when her mother first started struggling with dementia, she was aware of it and afraid. They look at family photos. She says in some ways, it’s a relief that her mother isn’t suffering anymore. The house has been sold, and she says it’s a certain finality in saying good-by to everything that was her mother. She says closing the door to the house is symbolic of closing the door to her mother’s physical existence on earth, but she’s still there in spirit. I so understand and empathize with how she feels, as I had a similar experience when my father passed away, although he died suddenly and had no lingering illness.

LisaR says a part of her wants to reach out to Yolanda, but she screwed it up, and has to live with it. We flash back to all that. She’s meeting with some of her daughter’s modeling people. They discuss Delilah’s career and her manager thinks she’s on the fast track. Lisa talks about her labor pains and how big Delilah’s head was when she was born. Delilah is embarrassed and so am I. She talks about everyone thinking Delilah was deformed and Harry asking for a hat. Some photos are taken.

Harrison! Tiny ponies! Giggy! When are LisaV and Ken going to adopt me? Lisa gives Ken his present, and we flash back to the birthday parties she’s thrown for him. This year, it’s just going to be the two of them. He loves the watch. It is pretty nice. She says the greatest gift she’s given Ken is the children…and a bj in the car. They compare Giggy and Harrison’s hair loss. Lisa says Harrison went from the pound to a palace. Really, I won’t take up much space. They’ll never even know I’m there.

Lisa is looking for an apartment for Max. She says before they help their children, they like them to struggle first. She’s seen him live in a grubby place, so now it’s time for a surprise. She says he’s worked hard and deserves to live better now. I like this idea. Everyone should have the experience of living on their own for a while, whether they have to or not.

Kyle meets LisaR for dinner with their girls. Lisa says they’re still like 2 and 3 in her mind. She’s leaving them by themselves for two nights, and she’s a little worried. She says the worst that could happen is they disappear, which would be pretty bad. Kyle asks what they have planned, since it’s not like they can go to clubs. The girls just look at each other and say of course not.

Delilah checks out a dating app and freaks at who she’s matched with. She explains to LisaR that you can’t even get on it without being special. Obviously, it’s not Tinder. Lisa wants to know how much she paid for it. Kyle thinks it’s sketchy at only nine bucks a month. Lisa explains she has to go to QVC and wants to be told everything is going to be okay. She says no dating app stuff while she’s gone. Kyle suggests no dates in the city.

Eileen feels like she can’t focus, so it’s time for some therapy. She tells her therapist that it’s almost embarrassing to have lost so many people and having to keep sharing the information. The therapist asks if there’s a limit on how many people are allowed to die. Eileen lists all the people close to her who have passed away recently, and it’s a lot. She can’t understand why she feels the way she does. She talks about the disconnect between her parents, and says she was embarrassed that her parents didn’t get along when she was younger. The therapist says her knee-jerk reaction to things is shame. Interesting. She tells Eileen to stop trying to make things okay for everyone else. Eileen wants to work on being in the moment with what she’s feeling, and if she knew how much I hate that term, she wouldn’t use it in order to make everything okay. That’s my knee-jerk reaction from having heard it in acting school every five minutes.

Kyle calls Mauricio who’s in Mexico. She’s getting ready for a white party. Isn’t that racist? She calls LisaV with a fashion emergency – she needs nude-colored underwear because the white ones are showing through her jumpsuit. Some of the group gathers for a kiki before the party. Kyle tells them they’ve cast Alicia Siverstone to play her mother in the new show about her early life. Erika talks about her upcoming gig on The Young and the Restless. She’s praying she doesn’t disappoint Eileen. LisaV talks about her early acting career, and Ken suggests they were silent films. Erika is slightly taken aback and Ken says it’s just British humor. Erika says lets all put on British accents and insult each other, but PK says they don’t see it that way; it’s self-depreciation. Dorit thinks Americans should chill out and Erika reminds her she was born in Connecticut.

Dorit talks about how poised Erika is, and Erika says she’s guarded when she first meets people. LisaV explains that Kyle needs underwear, but Erika says she doesn’t have any. Why should she break up a beautiful design with a pantyline? I catch PK trying to take a look. Erika claims that she’s actually a shy introvert, but Dorit’s not buying it. They all leave for the party.

PK and Dorit discuss the party the next day. PK says the scenery was good, referring to Erika not wearing underwear. He says he couldn’t help but notice early on. Dorit says she doesn’t know if Erika deliberately flashed, but she doesn’t blame PK for being a man. He tells her about how distracting it was. Dorit says that she would never put on a free show like that, but thinks Erika has a good sense of humor, so she’s going to approach her about the whole thing. That ought to be good.

Next time, LisaR does her QVC thing, Dorit complains about Erika, and Erika receives a gift of underwear.

✈ A note on Ladies of London – the British highborn – they curse just like us! Caroline #1 refuses to be told what to do (i.e. have some manners), and leaves Mapperton early. Juliet leaves with her because she’s a brownnoser loyal. Julie seems to think a title intimidates Caroline. I think it’s way more than that, although I can’t fathom being intimidated by a title. It’s not like anybody works to get one. My husband is a marquis. You know what it’s gotten us? Nothing. And rightly so. Although I would like a nice castle…

I have to mention too, how much I like Caroline #2. She’s a little hippie-dippy, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone so endearingly sincere, especially on a reality show.

 

 

December 18, 2016 – Vintage Christmas Holly Jollies, a Little Atlanta & a Small Dose of Medicine

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Now for Something Completely Different

While there are some Sunday night shows I’m watching, like The Real Housewives of Atlanta and Married to Medicine (see below), nothing is happening with the shows I’m blogging, so I thought I’d share a little Christmas humor.

In 1979, I was young, single, and living in NYC. I still went home for Christmas though, and a friend of mine stayed at my apartment in Manhattan that year to babysit my cat, Eric. (So named after Monty Python‘s Eric the Cat.) When I got back, I found this note. In explanation, my railroad flat was once a hotel room and had a decorative fireplace. And be forewarned, there are curse words ahead.

Christmas Eve, 1979

Dear Theresa,

Well, I was here! Where the hell were you?

After all the trouble I had getting here, too. Do you realize how goddamn hard it is to guide 8 reindeer through New York City? They all want to stop and look at the tall buildings and buy pretzels. They all bugged the hell out of me, trying to con me into taking them to Radio City.

Then, trying to land on that goddamn filthy roof of yours. Doesn’t anybody clean around here? There was so much fuckin’ pigeon shit around, Dancer slipped and almost ended up as flying venison.

Then I struggle and squeeze, and damn near burst my spleen trying to get down the chimney. I finally make it through – and you bricked up the fuckin’ fireplace!

I had to climb all the way back up to the roof, walk down the fire escape and get in through the front door. (If Jane didn’t leave your key for me – I wouldn’t have even gotten in!)

And then, do you think I could go up in the elevator? Oh no! I had to trudge up those cruddy stairs. Four whole flights I walked!

So I get in, finally. And where are you? Gone. I don’t even get the satisfaction of sneaking around so you don’t wake up. It’s the best part of being Santa Claus, goddamn it, and I couldn’t. If it weren’t for your crazy cat sleeping in the sink, it would have been a total loss.

By the way – do you know your cat is fencing stolen goods? I found a whole mess of TVs and stereos… well, never mind.

And the topper of it all. The thing that really, really burns me up is that you didn’t even leave me a goddamn glass of milk and a few lousy cookies! Nothing! I open the fridge and – nada! Not even a lousy j!

Thanks a heap, Theresa.

All in all, you really fucked me over, and don’t think I’m gonna forget it!

Santa Claus

P.S. Just stopped by on my way back from Ohio. So there you were! OK, all’s forgiven. But next time, drop me a note if you aren’t going to be in. You know my address. Merry Christmas.

SC

🎅 Wherever you are, Jane Lindberg, you’re still making me laugh after almost 40 years.

👒 A quick note on The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Kenya and Matt’s relationship seems to have taken a nosedive, which I find sad, since it looked like she’d found the right guy. Unfortunately, he’s shown a somewhat violent temper, and broke one of her garage door windows during an argument. Not a good sign. It’s hard to tell if they’ll end up working things out. I think it depends on whether or not Matt is willing to go to some kind of counseling. Kenya’s father has been a real champ though, supporting her all the way, and even trying to talk to Matt himself.

Phaedra is still the same self-righteous a-hole. There’s no way I could be friends with her. She has to be the phoniest member of the Housewives franchise, and that’s saying a lot. If you look up “two-faced” in the dictionary, her picture is there. Porsha has a new old boyfriend, whom she dated years ago. She decides to bring him to a family dinner, where he’s barraged with questions about his “intentions.” Even Jesus gets an earful during grace.

I often get distracted by the outfits on this show. Especially when Phaedra wears some kind of poufy thing. Or a hat. I was twice as distracted tonight, when Phaedra and Kandi met for a disastrous lunch. Kandi called Phaedra out for everything she’d ever done since the earth cooled, and Phaedra pretended she had no idea what Kandi was talking about, and Kandi must be crazy. But I digress from my digression. Kandi was wearing a gorgeous, but busy, off-the-shoulder dress, in a humongous floral pattern, and Phaedra was wearing some white concoction that I kept trying to figure out. I don’t know how I was supposed to concentrate on the conversation. All I know is, it didn’t end well.

🚑 As for Married to Medicine, this one is like watching a train wreck for me. You’d think that a group of women who are doctors and/or married to doctors would be somewhat mature, but no. However, it’s flabbergasting to see how incredibly childish they are. Hats off to Dr. Jackie, often the only voice of reason. She finally blew a gasket last week, while doing a nude photo shoot for breast cancer awareness. She’d invited the girls along for support, but they couldn’t stop their loud, petty quarreling for five minutes, and she had to kick them out. It’s a shame that a show that could have so much going for it, frequently reduces itself to Jersey Shore status. I’d also love to know where they find these people. What are the odds of a medical maven also being the first to start a bar brawl? That’s not to say the ladies are one-dimensional – this season’s storyline about Simone’s missing father is heart-wrenching – but they’re not kids and need to learn when to put a lid on it.