Tag Archives: Real Housewives

May 3, 2016 — GH, Mediterranean Hello, Beverly Hills Good-By & Wrong Loving

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Replay of the scene in the park where Jason catches Franco spying on him and Sam.

Hayden goes back to Windemere with Nicholas. He asks her to explain about the diamonds. She says he planted them, if they’re even real. She says he thinks he can tie the diamonds to her father’s money, but he’s wrong. He says he can and he has.

Griff asks Anna if she’s okay. She says she’s been thinking about Duke. Griff says it must be gratifying that Carrrlos is behind bars on the anniversary of Duke’s death. She tells Griff about the eyewitness.

Replay of Alexis finding a dead Hale. She calls out for help. Nathan comes and tells her to call 911. Like you need to tell this to an adult (a lawyer no less) who has just found a dead body.

Julian says it’s done. Nina walks in and tells him this is nowhere near done.

Sam says Franco must have been watching them at the barn and Jason asks what he wants.

Nicholas says there are possessions of Hayden’s parents that are still unaccounted for. Hayden says she has no idea where any of it went. Nicholas says there’s an inventory online and the diamonds are part of a necklace listed there. She says if the diamonds are real, he’s gone to a lot of trouble. Nicholas says the stones are marked and can be traced back, and he’s had the stones examined. He says if she’s not convinced they should call the Feds. She asks him not to.

Sam asks why Franco is stalking them and he says they’re only moderately interesting at best. She tells him about the footprints at the barn. Franco makes up a child’s rhyme, ending with, “I did not stalk you on a lark; I did not stalk you in the park,” and I laugh. Jason asks why he was in the bushes then and tells him he’s not fit to work with kids. Franco pulls his sketch pad out and shows them sketches he’s done in the park and says that’s his hideaway to sketch wildlife. Jason says he’s not going to work with Jake anymore. Franco says sketching helps him work stuff out. Jason acts like a nut, grabs the pad and asks what else he’s got. He sees the picture of Nina.

Nina thinks Julian is talking about the issues with Crimson, but Julian has the feeling she isn’t really talking about the magazine. Nina says he’s right and that she and Franco hit a new low — it’s over. Julian says he’s sorry and if there’s anything he can do, to let him know. She wants to know who he was talking to when she walked in. Like that’s her business.

Anna says Jordan seems to think the witness is credible. She says Paul still has his agenda with Carrrlos and they could use some corroborating evidence.

Hale still has a pulse and Nathan tells Alexis to hurry up.

Anna tells Griff that Alexis is very skillful. She wonders who Alexis was talking to at the bar. Griff says the only person Anna should be concerning herself with is her. She says if she can get justice for Duke (which sounds like an online petition), she can take whatever happens to her. She promised herself that today she was going to celebrate his life and Griff says he’s in.

Sam says the picture is disturbing and Franco says it’s a picture, not Nina’s head in a box. Jason asks if he’s going to hurt Nina. Franco asks why would he would waste his time following them. Sam wants to know why he drew the picture and he says his drawings are his business. He says he would never hurt Nina, not the way they’re talking about anyway. Seriously, this picture isn’t all that radical and these two are way overreacting.

Ignoring her question, Julian says he owes Nina an apology for his last outburst and she says she was out of line a little. Julian says talking about Franco might help. She says it’s over, but she’s not writing him off as a monster. She says he’s misguided, but she loves him. She says they just wanted different things and maybe she never new the real Franco. She tells him he’s lucky that he an Alexis don’t have that problem. D’oh!

Hale gets taken to the hospital. Nathan tells them to let him know when Hale regains consciousness. Alexis says she assumes it was an OD, but Nathan says that’s to be determined. Nathan says he has to call the station, and tells Alexis to get some coffee and calm herself. She texts Julian to meet her at the ER.

Julian gets the text and tells Nina he has to go.

Nathan asks Alexis some questions. She says she met Hale once before and Nathan asks about the circumstances.

Hayden says maybe the diamonds are a problem, but where does that leave them? Nicholas says they’re at a detente. She suggests they call it a draw and go their separate ways. Nicholas says he needs her to sign a document surrendering the rights to the $5 million from the prenup.

Anna and Griff have tea. She tells Griff how she and Duke met and tells the story of their first dance before she even knew his name. She says they connected and always had up until he died. Griff asks if their first dance was the tango, but she says that came later. She says dancing with Duke was like floating on air. Griff says he should warn her that he has two left feet and asks if she would teach him to tango as an homage to Duke.

Franco starts to leave. Sam asks if he’s going to explain the sketch. He says no. Sam says a woman has the right to know if their boyfriend is making creepy sketches. Puh-leeze. He says they had a fight, he’s pissed and he drew a picture. He leaves and Jason makes more of it than anyone ever should. Jason says he doesn’t want Franco around Jake. Normally, I like these two, but they are really annoying me today.

Alexis tells Nathan that Hale is a potential witness in a case she’s working on and that she found him just like he was. Julian shows up at the hospital. She tells him she found the eyewitness with a needle in his arm. They hear Nathan asking if he can question Hale.

Hayden says Nicholas won’t even miss the five million, but he says he’s not going to give her five cents. She says she almost died when he had her shot and she deserves something. She refuses to sign and says go ahead and call the agent. If he does, she’s going to tell about the shooting and Spencer can grow up seeing him behind bars. She says it’s better Spencer knows now who his father really is, rather than grow up deluded and find out later. I’m guessing she’s also talking about her own father.

Anna tries to teach Griff to tango. For having two left feet, he does pretty well, since that’s not an easy dance. Afterwards, he says they should go out to dinner and they can schedule his next dance lesson. She says it will give him an in with the ladies and he almost chokes on his tea, spilling it on his shirt. They leave so he can change before they go out.

Franco shows up at Nina’s office. She says she doesn’t think they need to say anything else. He agrees, but tells her about Sam and Jason seeing the sketch. He says if they told her about it, they’d give her the wrong idea and he wants her to see it.

Hale is dead. Nathan asks if the body can be examined. Julian says clearly it’s an overdose (like he was there), but Nathan says they can’t be sure until they assess the body. He says when he gets back, he’ll have to know what case of Alexis’s Hale was involved with. Ha-ha! Julian must be nervous AF.

Alexis tells Julian that Hale was the witness against Carrrlos. Sam and Jason come in and Julian explains that Alexis found a junkie that had overdosed. Alexis adds that it wasn’t just any junkie.

Anna and Griff go to the hospital where Griff apparently keeps his clothing. While he changes, Anna calls Jordan and leaves a message asking her to meet tomorrow.

Nicholas suggests they table things for now. Hayden says they should both back off, at least until tomorrow. She says she guesses they’ll just stay married and he says for now. She says since she’s still his wife, she’s entitled to certain rights and privileges. He says, “As you wish, my princess,” and starts taking off his clothes.

Nina asks if it’s a threat and Franco tells her Sam and Jason thought the same thing. He says it’s not a threat, it’s just how he sees their relationship right now. She says she doesn’t see anything that horrible. Franco says he had high hopes and she says she did too. He says he thought it was forever and it’s over. When he had that realization, he drew what he was feeling. He says he sees them as broken and twisted and it can’t be fixed.

Nathan wants the car dusted for prints. He says he’ll be back to finish with Alexis’s statement. Jason asks who the guy was and Julian stalls. Alexis tells them that Hale was the witness against Carrrlos and Anna overhears.

Hayden tells Nicholas to stop and says she was talking about money. He says they each have control over their earnings, but oh that’s right, she doesn’t have any since the Quartermaines left her out in the cold. She asks if she’s a prisoner there. He says if she chooses to stay, he can give her an allowance, and that the days of his indulging her every need are over because he doesn’t love her anymore. He says the diamonds changed everything and her past is catching up to her. I’m confused. Where did he find these diamonds, since she wasn’t living there anymore?

He leaves and Hayden says, “No, my prince. It’s not over.” I love that prince/princess stuff.

Franco says he still wants what they had and that Nina is amazing. He says she’s an unforgettable woman and he wishes her every happiness. Nina says what about him and he says he doesn’t think happiness is in the cards for him, but it’s okay. He says he realizes he should just be him — the kind of guy who wold draw a picture like that. Seriously, the picture wasn’t all that bad.

Nathan walks in on Griff, who is looking at the scar on his body. Didn’t Maxie say it was a gunshot wound?

Anna says Alexis was badgering Hale earlier and now he’s dead. She asks why the both of them are there and Alexis says she found Hale. Anna says Alexis does everything to protect Julian and now she’s killed for him.

Tomorrow, Nathan says he knows how Griff got his scar (hmm…did Nathan shoot him? and does this have something to do with Claudette?), Alexis pleads innocence, and Jason tells Franco that he’s not getting inside Jake’s head.

Below Deck: Mediterranean

A bunch of new names to learn. Except for Chef Ben who was also on most of the Caribbean seasons.

Chef Ben is excited to be on the water in Greece, since it’s similar to where he trained in Italy. Hannah, the chief stew, says it’s unusual to be meeting an entirely new crew and taking on guests the same day. The boat itself, the Ionian Princess, is decorated very gaudily. Julia, stew #2, says she’s speechless. Me too. The fixtures are…well….

Captain Mark asks first mate Bryan to be his go-to guy, especially since there’s a bit of a language barrier. Tiffany is the 3rd stew and there are deckhands Bobby, Danny, Jen and Miko.

Ben thinks Captain Mark is odd, but says all captains are odd. Everyone is putting away supplies. They all seem down to help, and this looks like a hard-working bunch, which wasn’t always the case in the Caribbean.

The deckhands and stews have meetings where they talk about their yachting backgrounds and skills. Tiffany aspires to be a captain. Hannah doesn’t seem to understand why Tiffany would take a position she doesn’t want, which wasn’t exactly what she said, and I already see that Hannah is going to be a pita.

Jen and Julia talk relationships and Jen reveals she’s gay. She thinks Hannah is hot, but just wait. I’ll bet by the end of the season she won’t be able to stand the sight of her. Cleaning commences. Hannah says she’s a high school drop-out who was told she wouldn’t amount to anything, so I see now she’s an overachieving perfectionist who will want everyone else to be perfect too.

Christine is the primary guest, along with her husband, Bob. The captain goes through the preference sheets. Christine has a natural skincare line and Ben is supposed to incorporate the flavors of the ingredients into the food somewhere. Hannah thinks she has good chemistry with Ben and since they’re both from Australia, that’s probably part of it.

The crew changes into their formalwear to greet the guests. Ben says it’s insane to have done all this and have guests within 24-hours, but it’s okay because he’s insane. Ha-ha! I like Ben

The guests arrive. Christine has a high-pitched voice and is annoying me already. Hannah shows the guests around the yacht. Christine says she likes the marble in the master bath and I have to say it is beautiful and probably the only good thing about the decor in there. I can’t deal with the gold swan faucets.

Jen and Tiffany do laundry, longing to be outside, and the deckhands do deckhand stuff while they talk about women. One of them says he’s worked on some boats with heifers and it sucks. I cringe. BTW, he’s not all that. Ben talks to Christine about the food. He likes challenging the guests’ palates by trying new things and hopes this group is up for it.

They drop anchor somewhere in the Greek Islands. Christine shows off her fitness on deck, while some of the guys go swimming. It’s time for cocktails, which I think is really all the time on a yacht. The guests want to have a football game streamed in. Hannah is messing with the TV and says that guests don’t understand that they can’t exactly get cable in the middle of the Mediterranean.

When it doesn’t seem to be working well with the TV, Bob tells Hannah that it’s one of the non-negotiables. She knows that means if it doesn’t happen, their tip goes down. Ugh! Dude, you are out on the water in the middle of nowhere, not home on your couch. First idiocy of the first episode of the first season. Well, except for that heifer comment.

This place is just beautiful. Ben is going to make moussaka for dinner. The captain and several deckhands get in on the TV issue. Jen is the most experienced deckhand, but says she sees already that she’s not favored because she’s a female. No surprise, since Bryan has never worked with a woman before.

Dinner is served. Ben looks like he’s wearing pajamas, but I guess it’s a chef’s jacket. He has to flambe the cheese appetizer and timing is everything. It looks really tasty. Really tasty. The moussaka is next. Hannah doesn’t explain it very well to the guests though. Everyone complains that it’s too heavy. Ben says he likes to eat lean as well, but he wants moussaka in Greece. I’d like some right now. He seems to think part of the problem was Hannah’s description of the dish. Hannah thinks Ben has issues with being wrong.

Ben says you can always make amends and goes up to explain dessert. He’s incorporated the skincare flavors of green tea, coconut and something else I’ve already forgotten. Glad it’s not lanolin or microbeads.

Jen is late getting up and seems resentful that she has to be on deck early. I thought she said she was the most experienced and wanted to be noticed? Hannah says it doesn’t look like they can stream the game, so she’s going into town to see if they can make it happen there. Cranky Bob is starving and Ben makes frittatas for breakfast. They’re heavenly from the reaction of the guests. Julia thinks Hannah is getting stressed. She says doing acrobatics has taught her how to hide stress, but I fail to see the connection. I’d definitely be stressed doing acrobatics and would not be able to hide it.

Bryan asks Jen if she was up when she was supposed to be. She says just a few minutes after and Bryan tells her six means six and don’t let it happen again. Danny tells Jen he didn’t say anything, but Jen doesn’t believe him. (He didn’t.) She doesn’t know how he gets through life without lying. Remind me to never take her on as a friend.

Bob is bitching that he’s never missed a Steeler’s game. Well, if it was so important, why didn’t you plan your vacation around it? Hannah is going nuts trying to find a place where he can watch it, so her crew members aren’t penalized.

This season, Hula hooping, birthdays on the water, twerking, hair extensions, inappropriate romance, and someone gets sent home. Below Deck: The Original will also be back this fall.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills — The Reunion, Part Three

Eileen was offended by Lisa’s blog where she spoke about an abusive relationship, when LVP didn’t want to be open with them on camera. Andy asks if LVP was hurt by the guy, and she says twice and she left. She starts crying and says she hasn’t cried about it since then and had only even mentioned it to Ken once. Andy says he’s surprised she never shared it. Yolanda says that’s what they want to see, those deep emotions. Eileen says that’s how people bond on a deeper level. Here’s a clue, maybe she doesn’t want to relive the moment and rehash it with her friends.

Kathryn says she has shared things like that with LVP, but that she comes off as detached when she’s around the group. LVP brings up the Yulan dogs. Eileen says she has more empathy for animals than she does for the group. So do I. LVP is like, thanks, that’s not the first time you’ve been nasty. Eileen covers by playing the honest card. LVP says she was hurt and Eileen doesn’t think it was nasty, but apologizes. Andy points out that Eileen apologized immediately, and asks LVP if she has a hard time with apologies. She says she must if everyone thinks so.

Eileen says she hated being a bitch this season and resents that she was turned into one because of this whole mess. They talk about Kathryn passing along what Erika said about LVP being manipulative. I don’t think Kathryn should have repeated it, but hey, how about not talking about people behind their back? Discussion of Erika using the c-word commences. Bleh. I don’t like it and I think it’s rude to use it in front of someone who finds it offensive, just like I would any other word. We go back to Kathryn repeating what Erika said. Erika says it wasn’t smack, it was her opinion. The word “opinion” is used the same way the word “honest” is used with these women, as an excuse to be nasty. Maybe her opinion is smack. Erika talks about when Kathryn acted stupid at her dinner party. Erika says Kathryn called LVP a “harmless old lady” when they spoke on the phone. Is this really necessary?

Kathryn says she never said that. Kathryn says Erika is desperate and Erika says, no, you. Kathryn says Erika gossiped about everyone except Yolanda every night in Dubai. LVP interjects that Kathryn only repeated a little of what Erika had said. Andy wants a show of hands as to who thinks Kathryn was wrong in what she did. Can we move on? Yolanda talks about that moron Brandi saying LVP is manipulative. Andy mentions Tom comparing LVP to an alligator and how LVP thought it was funny. She says it was the delivery and he was sparring with her.

Erika says LVP is tough and LVP says not as tough as people think. Kathryn says she’s never heard LVP say a bad word about anyone. Erika says although they got off to a bad start, she and Kathryn are cool now.

They show a video of Brandi who says it’s amazing to be a viewer, which is what you say when they fire you. She says a bunch of nasty stuff about LVP and Lisa wants to know why Brandi is being given a platform when she’s not on the show and they can’t reply. Yeah, me too. Nasty &)@%$!) bitch. She says LVP was a puppeteer and manipulated her. I don’t believe that for a second. I seriously doubt Brandi can be manipulated.

LVP is like why, Andy? Yolanda says it’s fair, since Kim got to come on the reunion, that Brandi should have her say. Hello? It’s a little different when you can’t respond. LVP says Brandi is ridiculous, which is an understatement, and a lot cleaner than what I’d say. Brandi is an attention seeker who can’t seem to get any on her own.

We go down Memory Lane from the little horse to Dubai. They talk about the Dubai trip. The suite LVP and Kyle was forty grand a night. Eileen tells a funny story about the aquarium in her room and how she was told no one could see in. She was in her bathrobe when the diver who cleans it came by and turned around to see him making an okay sign, and they show a pic.

No! No! No! We’re back at Munchhausen’s. I never ever want to hear that word again. They talk about LVP and Kyle’s friendship. Andy says Kyle seemed to want to do whatever it takes to keep the friendship going. Kyle says she loves Lisa and knows she feels the same and would always have her back. They talk about some of Yolanda’s Instagrams being funny. Yolanda gets insulted, but they show one that totally is, with her inside some device that looks like she’s in a toaster.

We see Ken telling LVP that LisaR is a wanker and stupid bitch. Both Eileen and LisaR say they’re appalled that a man would talk like that about a woman and would be offended if either of their husbands did that. Really? You mean to tell me that in a private conversation if your husband jumped to your defense that way, you’d be pissed at him? Highly, highly doubtful. And I also doubt it’s never happened. It’s sad that I’ve come to think these two are a bit delusional. I also love how Ken always stands up for his wife. I think it’s commendable.

LVP says that’s the way Ken felt and he was pissed off. She should have said he was being honest and giving his opinion. Yolanda brings up when Ken called her stupid and we flash back. Giggy! OMG we’re back to Munchhausen and LVP manipulating LisaR. I can’t take it. Andy asks if LisaR is easily manipulated. She doesn’t know. She says no one can figure out if she’s a people-pleaser or bipolar. Then we go back to you-know-what and who said what first. If I was at this reunion, I’d refuse to participate in this topic any more.

Andy moves on to….no, we’re not moving on. LisaR wants her moment and talks about LVP telling her to drag Kyle into it. What this actually sounds like — and I oughtta know after listening to this crap for months — is that both LVP and LisaR say that LVP said the same thing, but the inflection is different, which makes a difference in the meaning. For example: You can never put too much water in a nuclear reactor. I can say it one way where you’d think you can put in as much as you like, and another way where it’s a warning not to. I see what’s happening here.

I can’t write Munchhausen again, so I’ll just wait until we change topics. If ever.

Kathryn and Yolanda zone out and Erika plays with her hair.

Andy asks who Yolanda believes. Eileen wins. Kyle says it seems like they’re trying to make a problem between her and LVP. This makes sense, since Brandi kind of did the same thing. Someone tweets that Kyle has Stockholm Syndrome. Kyle says no one is an angel there and this is being made into a bigger deal than it is.

We flash back to various times where LVP was called manipulative. Andy asks if LVP wants to apologize to anyone and she says no. Andy says she and LisaR have known each other for 25 years, which surprises me because I didn’t know that. Was I not paying attention when LisaR joined the show? Maybe. Anyway, he asks if they can repair the friendship and LVP says she doesn’t know because LisaR seems so angry. She is a freaking firecracker. I might like to hang out with her occasionally, but I don’t think we could be good friends. LisaR says she’s hurt and disappointed, but doesn’t want to hold a grudge.

This sort of threw some confusion in for me. If they’ve known each other that long, has this “manipulation” been going on all this time and the light bulb just came on? Or did it just happen out of the blue?

Andy says they did it all with class and dignity…mostly.

They talk about what they got out of the season. Kyle says knowing about Lyme disease, which I totally agree with. I didn’t know it was so mystifying and debilitating. Yolanda just wants to get well. LisaR really has nothing to say. Eileen says there’s no contest that the Housewives win over soaps in the drama department. Kathryn says it was everything she expected and Erika agrees. Erika never saw the show before and says she jumped in and found out a lot of things the hard way.

LVP says she’s sorry people thought she was manipulative and regrets not understanding Yolanda’s illenss better and that she wasn’t as supportive as she should have been.

They each say the best quality of the person to their right. And it’s all nice for once.

Note: On Watch What Happens Live (with LisaR and Chef Ben as guests), Andy retired the word I hate. There was a count, and the number of times it was said this season was 80, but I would swear on a Bible that it was more than that.

If Loving You Is Wrong

When we last left, Julius was smothering his father. Success! All the doctors finally hear the monitor and come running in. I guess no one thinks it’s weird that Julius puts the pillow down as they go running toward the old man. He still has a pulse.

Lushion comes to the hospital to see Pete and Oliver asks why. He says he just wants to see how he is and Oliver says there’s a camera in the room. Lushion is like, okay, but I guess Oliver doesn’t know where Lushion is at. He gets to the room and tells Ben he’s staying the night, so he can go home. Ben says he doesn’t think it’s a good idea, and Lushion says yeah, they shouldn’t go against the captain’s orders, but they’re both staying. He asks how Ben’s hand is. Ben says good. Lushion says that’s good. Everything is good.

Lusion goes into Pete’s room. He wishes Pete had told him what was on the disk. He swears to get revenge for all the rookies on the wall. He sheds a few tears and says he’s going to get who did this. All of them.

When is Ramses going to be in the opening montage?

Crazy Eddie approaches Ben who tells him Lushion is there. Eddie says Lushion can’t stay with Pete every night and Ben asks what he should do. Eddie tells him stop asking stupid questions and smacks him. He says if he asks it again, he’ll shoot Ben’s other hand off and tells him to do nothing.

Lushion calls Natalie who says she can’t find the disk. She just pulled up to Alex’s house, but she doesn’t want to wake everybody. She wants to wait until tomorrow. He finally says okay, but I don’t understand why she doesn’t realize how important this is. She says no, she’ll do it, but he tells her no and he’ll call her early. Lushion swears to Pete he’ll find the disk.

Marcie wakes Brad. She tells him he was calling Alex’s name in his sleep, but he doesn’t believe it. She thinks he should go home. She says he’s drinking himself to sleep and crying in his sleep and he’s going home. She wants him to just talk to her because they’re not done. She says he’d better be gone or tell her they talked when she gets back.

Kelly tells Natalie she’ll get the house process started asap. Natalie asks the kids if they took the disk out of the kitchen. They all say no. Natalie is wearing some huge hoop earrings and they remind me of the time my boss said he was going to bring a basketball into the office to see if he could get it through my earrings.

Natalie and Esperanza leave for work and the kids get on the bus. Louise asks if she can talk to Kelly. Kelly says she doesn’t want to get involved. Louise says she knows she can help Alex. She says the whole thing is her son’s fault and she wants the opportunity to try and fix it. Kelly says she’ll talk to Alex, but the answer is going to be no. Louise says she’ll take her chances.

Kelly asks Alex how she slept and Alex tells her the three hours was decent. Kelly tells her Randal’s mother wants to talk to her because she thinks she can help, and maybe she should. Alex says Randal is trying to take her baby away and one of them will die first. Kelly says just give Louise a chance; she’ll stay right there. Alex still says no. Kelly says she still thinks it’s a good idea and Alex says bring her in. BTW, Kelly is wearing an amazing pink and orange retro-colored dress.

Louise thanks Alex and says she knows it’s difficult. She apologizes about Randal and says she thinks he’s losing his mind. She says he’s unpredictable and vindictive. She says maybe he was always that way and she didn’t see it. She tells Alex what he’s done to her and her family is awful.

Louise remembers something from the past where Randal was enraged over a girl’s perceived cheating. She says he finally calmed down enough to hear her and she’s still there waiting for the calm to come, but it hasn’t. She thinks there might be one thing they can do. She asks Alex is the baby is really Randal’s since she hasn’t seen him. Alex tells Kelly she’s not going to answer just so Louise can take the baby away.

Louise wants to see the baby, but Alex is afraid Randal sent her. Louise assures her Randal doesn’t even know she’s there. Kelly tells Alex it’s okay and Alex shows her the baby. He’s very tiny and cute. She says he looks just like Randal did. She asks what his name is and Alex says Brad. Thank God. I thought we were going through the whole season with this poor kid not having a name.

Louise takes Alex’s hand. She says Randal has always wanted to have a son and if he can’t see him, he’ll continue to rage out of control. She thinks if Randal can see his son, the custody thing will blow over. Alex is like, no way, and Louise says he’ll continue if he doesn’t. Alex says then she’ll play the only card she has. Louise says that he loves her and Alex says she doesn’t care. Louise says he likes conflict and if Alex gives him peace, he’ll do the same.

Alex asks if she’s done and Louise says if Alex wants her to be. Alex says yes, gripping the baby’s car seat like there’s an earthquake. Louise thanks Kelly for trying and leaves. Kelly starts to leave and Alex says she has an opinion, so what is she thinking. Kelly says Alex doesn’t want to know. She says she thinks if Alex wants to end all the drama, she should let Randal see his child. Kelly leaves for work.

Kelly stops by Ramses’s place on her lunch break to bring the papers for the sale of the house. She asks to come in. Ramses is still unpacking and she says she can help him for an hour. He says he’s good. A girl comes out from another room and says she found whatever, gives him a folder and goes back. Kelly says she has to go and bolts.

Kelly is crying at her desk and her phone keeps ringing. It’s Ramses and she doesn’t answer. Oh, come on, you haven’t even kissed yet and have no idea who that person was, not that he owes you any explanations. Alex calls and says she just sent Randal a text and he’s on his way. She wanted somebody to know and she’ll call when he leaves.

Randal the Insane comes in and asks how Alex is, saying she doesn’t look like she’s had a baby. Alex is stone-faced and tells him see the baby or get out. Randal gets emotional seeing his son. He asks what they’re going to name him and Alex says his name is Bradley. Randal says he wants the baby named after him and Alex says that’s not happening. Alex asks Randal to do her a favor and stop this now, the custody, the name, everything. Randal says he should have some rights. Alex agrees, but says that’s something they need to discuss between them later. He says he wants what’s best for the baby. Alex says she’s what’s best for him. Randal says Brad hates the baby. Alex says they’re getting a divorce and she’d never let any harm come to him. She’d hoped Randal would let her have her way. Randal says the child is his legacy and he can’t have him named after someone whose not his father. He says he’s not dictating how Alex is going to raise him; he wants custody and for the baby to not be around Brad or her father.

Alex says she wanted nothing to do with the baby at first because he reminded her of how he was conceived, in lies and in deceit and in a shed. She says she didn’t want life anymore, but the baby kept looking at her with his beautiful eyes and she knew he was her son and she’d never let anyone harm him. She says if Randal pursues this, he will harm him. Randal repeats he has rights. He says Alex doesn’t have the money to fight him, so let him have custody. She says that’s not happening. Randal says they’ll be right next door. Alex says the baby isn’t a pawn or a tie Randal wants to her and she tells him to let it go.

Randal picks up the baby. Alex tells Randal a story about a mother bear killing some hikers. She tells Randal he’s one of those hikers. She says the hikers had no idea they were in danger until it was over. She tells him his visit is over too, and she wants the baby back. Randal makes a sickening face and says she can have their son…for now. I hate him so much, and I especially hate those crazy faces he makes.

Alex tells him she’s sorry for what’s going to happen to him next. And in the perfect timing he always has, Brad walks in. He says wow and looks pretty grim.

Next time, Randal calls the baby RJ, Kelly tells Travis they’re done, and Julius’s father is still alive.

May 2, 2016 — GH, the Charming South & Dallas Wives

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Hayden is approached by Federal agents in the parking garage. She says she thought they were done with questioning, but one of the agents says they have a few more.

Griff is at the bar. Mac says they didn’t get much of a chance to talk at the party, and asks Griff to tell him about himself. What is this dude hiding?

Alexis says Hale’s statement jives with the other accounts and tells someone to keep digging for dirt on him. Hale walks into the bar — not the start of a joke — and orders a double.

Anna thanks Andre, who says she’s the opposite of a flight risk. She’s too stubborn not to follow through. Jordan comes in and Anna says she was thanking Andre for what he did. In a snarky tone, Jordan says she knows everything that Andre has done for Anna.

Sam tells Julian she’s been avoiding the conversation, and asks him point blank if he had anything to do with Sonny’s shooting.

Carrrlos says if Michael breaks him out, he’ll tell him where Sabrrrina is. Jason interrupts. Carrrlos tells Jason to beat it, but Jason says it’s important he talk to Michael. Michael leaves with him and asks who sent him. Jason says he’s on his own because he’s worried about Michael. He says Carrrlos wants to use Michael and Michael says maybe it’s the other way around. Jason says the only way to engage with Carrrlos is to walk away.

Julian says he had nothing to do with the shooting. Sam says Alexis is defending a man she knows is guilty and she’s doing it because of Julian. She doesn’t think it’s fair.

Alexis asks to talk to Hale. She introduces herself and says she wants to talk to him about his testimony. Hale says he knows his rights and doesn’t want to talk to her.

Griff says there’s nothing to know, but Mac says Griff saved Tracy’s life. Mac says Griff has given his father a great legacy.

Jordan says she’s glad Anna isn’t behind bars anymore. Anna says they just need to get Carrrlos to flip on Julian. Jordan tells her about Hale. Anna thinks it’s just what they need and wants to talk to Scotty. Exit Anna.

Andre says he and Jordan have both had productive days and more than earned their date. Jordan says they should forget about the date. Sigh. What is wrong with her?

Hayden says she told them everything she knows. The agent asks if she has nothing to hide, why did she change her name? She says she was guilty in the court of public opinion and wanted a life. The agent asks why she hid the truth from her husband. With perfect timing, Nicholas shows up and wants to talk to them about his wife.

The agent says Nicholas is interfering with their questioning. Nicholas is like, in a parking garage? He says she’s a witness, not a suspect, and they’ve been questioning her for nearly 24 hours. He asks if she’s under arrest and the agent says no, but they have the right to question her. Nicholas says if they want to talk to her further, the agents can contact their attorney, Alexis Davis.

Hale tells Alexis to leave him alone. She says he doesn’t have to talk to her now, but he’s going to have to when she deposes him. She says the media is going to be swarming too, and asks if he’s ready for that. She says maybe they could talk one on one first. She just wants to know what he saw and heard the night Duke was shot.

Griff changes the subject, asking Mac about Maxie’s upcoming wedding. Mac tells him about Maxie’s first marriage and that even though it was a bust, she got Georgie.

Andre tells Jordan that if something is up at the station, they can go out later. Jordan says that’s not it and that hugging in a courtroom isn’t professional behavior. She talks about Andre’s kudos of Anna on the stand. Andre asks if she disagrees. He says if she’s reading too much into it, maybe she should see a psychiatrist.

Sam tells Julian about the deal Carrrlos was offered. Julian says he and Alexis talked about it and she’s at peace with her decision. Sam says she thinks it’s the opposite. Julian asks her if she hasn’t shown the same loyalty to Jason, but she says Jason would never ask her to do something that went against her principles.

Michael tells Jason that Carrrlos knows where Sabrrrina is. Jason says if he’s lying, where does that leave Michael?

Nicholas tells Hayden to get in the car. She asks what just happened. He says he was on his way to his car and saw the interrogation. She says welcome to her world, but wonders why he would come to her rescue. He says he’s a prince and that’s what they do. Hayden is like, nice try. Nicholas says he wanted to derail the questioning before the agents got to his personal finances.

Julian asks Sam to drop it. She says she’s disappointed because she believes Alexis’s happiness depended on him. He says they’re happy with each other and he has a family now because of her. He says he has a child to raise and Alexis wants to make sure he can do that. It’s Leo’s birthday and Sam tells him to give the baby a kiss. Julian says she’s his daughter and he loves her, and asks what’s up with her and Jason. She says she and Jason are where they’re supposed to be, back together.

Michael says Sabrrrina did something stupid, but she’s alone with the baby and needs his help. Jason says Carrrlos is just using her as leverage. He tells Michael to go back and tell Carrrlos to go to hell.

Hale says he already made a statement. Alexis says she has a couple of questions and Hale says to ask them when she deposes him. He tells her for the last time to leave him alone and leaves the bar. Anna enters.

Jordan asks if that’s a professional diagnosis and Andre says it’s a comment on her behavior. She says he and Anna spend a lot of time together for just being friends. He says they are friends, but Jordan is the one he’s interested in. He says she’s projecting and she assumes he’s cheating on her because she cheated on her husband. Jordan smacks him across the face.

Hayden sarcastically tells Nicholas he’s always thinking of others. She says they should discuss their future, and that it’s time to cut their losses. She says for a minute, she thought they could make a life together, but it’s time to go their separate ways.

Anna tells Mac thanks for sending her a wonderful lawyer. She says it surprises her to say it, but Scotty did very well. Griff says he’s glad shes out. Anna says her too, because she couldn’t take another minute in there and it’s the anniversary of Duke’s death.

Alexis says the witness’s story checks out and it makes Sabrrrina’s statement admissible. She says she can’t advise Carrrlos not to take the deal because he’s going to be found guilty.

Michael tells Jason he knows what he’s doing. Jason tells him if he needs anything to let him know. Michael goes back into the interrogation room and Carrrlos asks if they have a deal.

At her apartment, Jordan is acting like a big baby, throwing things around. Andre shows up, saying they’re not done. There’s something he has to tell her and he’s not leaving until he says it. Jordan asks who he thinks he is. He tells her he shouldn’t have accused her of projecting, that he was analyzing her and that was out of line. He tells her that if he wanted to date Anna, he wouldn’t be asking Jordan out. He doesn’t pursue a woman unless he’s interested in her and he’s very interested in Jordan. She says prove it and he kisses her.

Nicholas says they’re in a cooling off period. Hayden says they should call it quits, adding she consulted a lawyer and the prenup is binding. Nicholas is like, oh, I get it now. He says she’s more concerned with what she knows than the money. Hayden says she’s not going to press charges. He says not now, but what about later when the money runs out.

Griff says Mac explained the intricacies of the extended Scorpio clan and how Anna and his father fit in. Anna tells him about how when she and Duke finally got their priorities straight, it was too late. Griff says he’s surprised he didn’t realize it was the anniversary of Duke’s death.

Anna reflects back on the night she was meeting Duke and what a beautiful night it was. Griff says he’s sorry and Anna says he and Duke would have got on famously because their outlook on life is the same. She says Griff can turn an ordinary day into something beautiful. She tells Griff about the deal Carrrlos is being offered and says it’s a compromise she’s willing to take. She says Julian hated Duke for decades and tried to destroy his life. When Duke was finally walking away, Julian ordered his death.

Alexis says she tried to talk to Hale at the bar, but it went badly. Julian says they go to plan B and destroy his credibility. She says she can’t win the case, and all the motivation in the world won’t counteract a credible witness. He says he knows she’s going to win. I don’t know where Julian’s optimism is coming from, but if Hale shows up dead, won’t he be the first suspect?

Sam and Jason are in the park and discuss going on vacation. She suggests they go to the ocean. He says which one and she tells him he can pick. She says she has some bad memories of Hawaii though, and he suggests he listen to her pontificate, but she says she doesn’t want to talk about anything sad. Jason asks if Danny likes the beach and she tells him Danny loves the beach. She and Jason talk some more about vacationing and then they kiss. Someone is watching them. Franco? Or am I just supposed to think it’s Franco?

Sam hears a noise. Jason tells her to stay there and pretends he left his phone in the car. Jason finds Franco in the bushes. That answers that question.

Jordan and Andre get busy and there’s a song part. I take a quick power nap.

Nicholas tells Hayden she made her point and divorce is the way to go. He says they need to divide their assets. She says she doesn’t have any and he begs to differ. He takes out her makeup bag and there’s a pouch of diamonds in it.

Alexis tells Julian she has work to do. He says the case will be over before they know it. He kisses her and says how much she means to him. She leaves and Julian’s phone rings. It’s Hammer time! Julian asks if Hammer is telling him what he thinks he’s telling him. He hangs up and says it’s done.

Anna says when Julian is rotting in prison, she’ll feel that Duke has peace. Griff says what about her? He says she’s done everything she can for Duke, and does she know what she’s going to do now. She says she does.

Michael tells Carrrlos he’s out. He says Carrlos never had any intention of telling him where Sabrrrina is. Carrrlos says if Michael is too afraid of daddy, he’ll find another way.

Alexis finds Hale dead in the parking garage with a needle in his arm.

Tomorrow, Jason asks Franco what he wants, Nicholas says Hayden won’t get a dime of his money, and Alexis calls for help.

Southern Charm

Cameran starts us off by saying this is like a bad daytime soap that you keep turning back to. I tend to agree.

Oh no! Patricia’s sofa isn’t as fluffy as it should be after the Flamingo Party. Someone must have dared to sit on it.

Naomie’s parents have sold the house, so she and Craig have to move. Luckily, Naomie has a spare house. (Can you see the face I’m making?) Craig thinks Kathryn should have been invited to the party and thinks Whitney is the driving force behind her not being invited. He says Whitney has hated Kathryn ever since she got together with Thomas. He says Whitney is the only one she’s hooked up with who isn’t friends with her now, and thinks that there’s more to the story than a one-night stand, and that Whitney might have feelings for her. Hmm… Maybe he doth protest too much.

Whitney talks to his girlfriend Larissa who’s coming to visit. He thinks it’s time to make a commitment.

Kathryn meets Cooper for coffee, tea or whatever they drink in the South. He notes that she has a new Birkin bag. Am I the only one in the world not impressed by these purses? Cooper gives her the 411 on the Flamingo Party and how Patricia said he shouldn’t be seen with Kathryn in public. Cooper says again that he thinks Patricia sees herself in Kathryn and she upsets their world order.

Whitney and Patricia review the party. Whitney asks what Cooper pulled her aside for. She says he thought she was being cold. Whitney says he likes drama. Patricia says she hopes Cooper enjoyed the Flamingo Party because he’s never darkening her door again.

Kathryn tells Cooper about Jennifer calling her from the party. Cooper reminds Kathryn that Jennifer told her she didn’t sleep with Thomas, and she found out later that Jennifer did. Kathryn tells Cooper that Jennifer has been there for her. He asks if Jennifer is just telling her what she wants to hear and he wants her to know who her friends are.

Bailey comes to Shep’s place. She brings an easel. She’s paining a picture of him on a horse on the beach with his surfboard tucked under his arm. Although the only thing in front of her is Shep with his surfboard. Why?

Whitney and Landon go shopping. She wants to do something special for Shep’s birthday and has set up a roller skating party. Whitney asks about the guest list. She tells him Shep wants her to invite Kathryn, but she doesn’t want to. She says the downside is they can’t drink at the roller rink, but they can drink on the party bus on the way there. Whitney says she’s planning the party for her, not Shep, and we finally agree on something.

Shep says his neighborhood is off the beaten trail. He’s meeting Cameran at the neighborhood bar where he’s part owner. Cameran is wearing white jeans after Labor Day and says she’s living on the edge. Cameran has a new listing and she’s having him do the grunt work and advertising. She says she’ll split the commission with him if he brings her a buyer.

Shep tells Cameran that he really likes Bailey. Cameran says she’s ordained, so she could marry them. He says not everyone wants to get married, but she reminds him of a conversation he had with Craig about his perfect life with a wife and kids. He says there’s no timeline for a man, but Cameran says he’s going to be freaking by age forty and time’s a-wastin’.

Ugh! Thomas. He’s moving into his new house and once again I think all the wrong people have the money. He says in his heart he’ll always love Kathryn, but he gave it his all (cough!) and it didn’t work out. It didn’t work out because she expected a man, not a 14-year-old boy.

Kathryn is moving into her new house too. She says it’s the size of Thomas’s kitchen, but it’s a home whereas his is an empty house. She says she realizes that Thomas wasn’t the person she thought he was, and feels like she wasted two years. Well, at least she got a couple of kids out of it.

Craig is happy with his job. He’s running the construction of a hotel. He’d rather be involved with the bourbon company though.

Danni calls Kathryn and I cringe when she calls Kathryn “love bug.” Kathryn stops by Danni’s house. Danni says she misses her and has been thinking about her a lot. She asks why Kathryn hasn’t reached out to her. Kathryn says she knows Danni is friends with Cameran. Danni says people are scared to get too close to the situation and that they don’t know what’s a pressure cooker topic, since Kathryn has been volatile lately. Danni says she’s lovable and people want to see that side of her. Kathryn says it’s hard to open up. Danni thinks one on one, people would be receptive. Ooh! Danni has a Siberian Husky dog.

Landon (bleh) arrives at Thomas’s new house. She says his style is old-world masculine. She asks if he’ll be around this weekend, but he has the kids. She says they’re having a roller disco party for Shep’s birthday. He asks if she’s invited Kathryn. Landon asks why he cares and he says she’s the mother of his children and he likes her to be included. She says to be included you have to make friends with people. Thomas says Kathryn was hurt by a pic of the two of them and thought it was deliberate on Landon’s part. Landon says Kathryn is burn-down-your-house crazy.

She tells Thomas about her writing project and says she’s still working on her vision. She’s looking for investors and he tells her good luck. Ha-ha! I think it’s the first time I’ve liked him.

Kathryn calls Cameran. She asks if Cameran would like to go for coffee or lunch. Cameran says it’s commendable that she’s reaching out, but to be honest, Kathryn has been very volatile. In her interview, she says for the past two years she had a front row seat to the Kathryn and Thomas show and she wants to move to the nosebleed section. Kathryn says she wants to pursue friendships outside of Thomas. Cameran says she’s heard that they’re not together before and then they are. Cameran tells her she needs to focus on herself and her children. In her interview, Kathryn says she didn’t want them to wear matching pajamas, just go for coffee. And seriously, couldn’t Cameran spare an hour to be nice, especially when Kathryn is making an effort? I totally don’t get this fifth grade animosity toward Kathryn. All of them know what a loser Thomas is. He’s enough to drive anyone nuts. And every time this poor girl tries to be friendly, it gets thrown back in her face. She needs friends too, because friends tell you about things like birth control.

Idiot Landon gets her Xanadu costume on. She calls the roller rink and makes sure everything is in place. Shep says he’s never roller skated and used to make fun of people that did; now he’s turned into someone he despises. He wonders if Landon even knows him.

Craig puts on a really cool retro flower power shirt and purple pants. Go, Craig! Where does he find these clothes?

Shep is the first one at the meeting place. Landon picks up some disco cupcakes. Shep says he’s on time for his party and waiting in a polyester shirt with no booze. Landon arrives and tells Shep that tonight is all about him. He says but he’s never roller skated. He asks if Kathryn is coming and Landon tells him yes. He says he’s inclusive and has a soft spot for her, because when she’s not around Thomas, she’s not crazy and a lovely person. Told you. Thomas makes me crazy and I don’t even know him.

Everyone except Kathryn (who isn’t there) gets on the party bus. Landon is such an a-hole. She says she’s sorry Kathryn didn’t make the bus, but she’s totally lying.

The party bus arrives at the rink. Moron Landon has her skates on already and needs help to get off the bus. Shep asks if they can fill his roller skates with vodka and Cameran says Landon screwed the pooch on this one. Whatever that means.

There are childhood pictures of Shep everywhere which is probably the only thing about him in regard to this party. Craig is a roller skating master, and Shep wonders why he’s so good at embarrassing things. I stink at skating, so I understand Shep’s pain. He says Landon should know him better than this and won’t be planning next year’s party.

Cameran tells Craig about Kathryn’s call, but she says she’s not the one Kathryn needs to be calling. She says that Kathryn offended Patricia and Whitney, not her. Huh? Craig wonders what Kathryn did to Whitney. Cameran goes back to skating and Craig says he’s disappointed in her being the mean girl in the high school hallway.

Pizza and other food arrives. Bailey presents Shep with the painting. I can paint better, but he says it’s the best birthday gift ever. In her interview, Landon (who I dislike more every minute) makes nasty comments. I know I just made a snarky comment, but if this was my friend, I’d at least be polite for the show. Oh man, she is just so creepy for someone who is over the age of 14. Craig calls Kathryn and gets no answer.

Shep calls Kathryn. She says she didn’t know about the party until she got Craig’s voicemail. Shep says Landon didn’t send out formal invites, but Kathryn says that’s not true since Thomas got one and the rest of them were cc’d. Shep is pretty pissed because he told Landon he wanted Kathryn to be invited and apologizes to Kathryn. She says she knows it wasn’t his fault and tells him happy birthday.

Shep tells the others Kathryn never got an invite. Landon says Kathryn can make up whatever she wants, and we all know she’s lying through her teeth. She says Kathryn is lucky she was invited and if she doesn’t come who cares. Shep says he cares. Um…this was supposed to be his birthday party. Landon is even more selfish than Thomas is. For whatever reason, Landon says she’s angry and skates away.

Next time, Craig gives Naomie a ring, Landon makes an idiot of herself careerwise, and JD tells Craig he’s not in the position to lead the bourbon division.

The Real Housewives of Dallas

Yay! Another idiot! I am so disappointed with Leeanne. I had such high hopes.

Brandi has a couple of dogs and a bunny that’s amazingly cute. Brandi says her mother just dropped them all off one day and Bryan wants nothing to do with them. Just go to work, Bryan. Brandi says Stephanie has invited her and the kids on a trip to visit her folks in Oklahoma. Bryan whines that the bunny scratched him. Geez. Just get back to work, Bryan.

Leeanne goes to Heidi’s house. She says Heidi is someone you want to be friends with, which is enough to make me cross her off my list. She says Heidi is queen of the charity world. They’re doing an event for Paws Cause which is obviously an animal charity. Okay, Heidi does have a huge gorgeous dog, so maybe I’d be friends.

Leeanne asks Heidi to be honorary chair for a gig for women with AIDS. She says she just wants Heidi to sell tables and she’ll do the rest. Heidi agrees and they have more (more) champagne. Leeanne says the women don’t want a hand out, but a hand up.

Stephanie goes to Brandi’s house to pick up Brandi and the kids. Stephanie says it’s been a rough week and we flash back to Leeanne’s idiocy. They pack the kids into the car. Stephanie says this is not like a car commercial where the happy family goes on a trip. The kids are crying already and Brandi can’t get one of the dogs to come back inside. Stephanie says the car should come with a lifetime supply of Xanax. I think knowing Leeanne should come with that too.

Commercial break. Tour Group is coming back May 10. I thought that was a pretty interesting show. A group of embarrassing people on vacation, but you get to see some cool locations.

And BTW, AOL sucks. Why am I still with this dinosaur? Although I do like the pretty picture when you log on.

After about five minutes, the kids start with the “are we there yet?” stuff. Stephanie says the next time she buys a Mercedes, she’s making sure it comes with a nanny.

The Paws Cause event happens. Leeanne says pets are the reason she got involved with charity. She says she adopted a sick Pomeranian and when she was going to the vet, she met people who were involved with animal charities and she started getting involved. She redeems herself maybe a millimeter here.

Tiffany and Leeanne talk about the altercation with Brandi with Marie. Leeanne says it’s not about her or Brandi, but about behavior. Marie says they’re all invited to her cocktail party and wonders if this is going to be a problem.

Stephanie and Brandi arrive at Stephanie’s childhood home. Her parents seem sweet and Stephanie says she likes bringing the kids there so they can experience the important things in life. She says her family is refreshing rather than judgmental.

They make deviled eggs and of course Brandi has to point out they smell like farts. Some things never change.

The rest of Stephanie’s family arrives. It’s a pretty small town and Brandi has to explain what Uber is. Dinner is served and dad does the blessing. Stephanie grew up in the Pentecostal church, and wasn’t even allowed to dance growing up. She talks about Lola’s Tanning & Liquor, and how she went to the liquor store to tan as a kid.

Brandi says her family couldn’t have been more different. The family was pulled apart by her grandparent’s divorce. She says growing up, her mother made dinner, but she and her brothers ate in front of the TV.

Cary and Mark are done with surgery for the day. He asks her if she wants to go home and have “sexy time.” She’s taking Tiffany to yoga class. Mark asks when she’s taking him, but she says he gets private yoga at home. I go ♫ la-la-la! ♫

Tiffany hasn’t done yoga in a while, and says she’s never seen anything like Cary’s pretzel moves. She’s taking notes for her own sexy time.

Stephanie’s parents bring out all her scrapbook stuff — pictures and awards and yearbooks. She says growing up, she didn’t get everything she wanted, but she feels guilty now that she has more than she thinks she deserves. Brandi says it’s the simple things that bring you together and that are the most important.

Tiffany and Cary go to a juice bar after yoga. Tiffany says she was glad to go to the class, since she hadn’t found a place yet and it’s not like LA. Tiffany brings up Leeanne. She’s known her for years and says at first she couldn’t stand her, and that she puts up a lot of walls. Cary says she’s raised a lot of money, but she’s not a socialite like she claims. Tiffany says all those people love her and Cary says maybe so, but she’s not one of them. I think this might be a huge part of Leeanne’s problem. She’s totally insecure because she’s not one of the people she panders to.

Tiffany brings up Mad Hatter’s and that stupid hat. Tiffany says Cary is friends with Stephanie and Stephanie is friends with Brandi and it puts her in an awkward position. I can barely follow that. Cary says she’d like to be friends with Tiffany. Tiffany can’t wait for Marie’s cocktail party so she can let her hair down.

Brandi calls her grandfather, having been inspired by the family trip. He asks if she got the Easter package and she says yes and thanks him. She thanks him for being there for her mom and he says that’s what families are for. She asks him to come and visit. He says he’d love to.

Leeanne says once a month, they have a girls night out and take turns hosting. This month it’s Marie. Brandi and Stephanie have a kiki. Stephanie says she’s in a good space after seeing her family. Brandi is nervous to see Leeanne, since she’s been trying to get other people to not like Stephanie. That’s the part that really bugs me. If you don’t like someone, fine. If you want to talk about how you don’t like them, fine. But don’t do that you can’t be friends with me if you’re friends with her crap. Brandi says if someone has an issue with her, they should speak to her directly. Yep. Because we’re not in high school anymore. You know it never really goes away, right?

Tiffany tells Brandi she’s a real person and she wants to get to know her individually. She talks about the hat thing and Brandi just wants to get a drink. I understand this. Someone once stood between me and a buffet table when I was starving and wouldn’t stop asking me stupid questions about their camera when I was having trouble with my own camera. Leeanne makes snarky comments in her interview.

Cary talks to Leeanne and I get the feeling she’s rolling her eyes in her head a lot. Marie has invited one guy to girls night, Taylor. Leeanne is making barking noises (I’m not kidding) and he wonders why Marie is friends with her. Taylor chats with Brandi and Stephanie and gossips about Leeanne. He says you have to walk on eggshells around her. Leeanne talks to someone whose name I missed, telling her how much better she is than everyone else and how she knows they’re talking about her.

Taylor sings Brandi’s tune and tells them about Leeanne crapping her pants when she was really wasted. TMI. Brandi wonders if she has a spare turd in her purse.

Cary and Tiffany talk to Brandi and Stephanie outside. Brandi asks about the pants crapping incident and Tiffany asks who told her that. Brandi says that Leeanne is a bitch and should talk to her if she has anything to say. In her interview, Tiffany says the elephant in the room is so big, there’s no oxygen left. She wants them to air their grievances to each other’s faces.

Tiffany calls Leeanne over. She says things need to be said and people need to be heard. Brandi says she’s sorry she has no manners and asks if she should call Leeanne “Miss Leeanne.” Tiffany brings up something Leeanne said about Brandi and Leeanne says it wasn’t meant in a bad way and that she doesn’t have a malicious bone in her body. Brandi tells her she’s full of it and I concur.

Brandi says Leeanne doesn’t know who she is. She brings up what happened when she apologized about doing an impression of her. Leeanne says she appreciates that Brandi hasn’t lived half her life and is so much younger and ignorant . Leeanne throws her champagne glass on the ground and Brandi says she’s really classy. Leeanne acts like a brat, telling Stephanie that if she keeps defending a piece of trash like Brandi, her charity world is going to go down the drain. Brandi is like, I can’t believe what you called me. Leeanne stomps out and Stephanie starts crying. Brandi says Leeanne isn’t going to ruin Stephanie because of her. Stephanie says Leeanne is crazy.

To be continued.

Next time, Tiffany and Leeanne get into it, Brandi’s grandfather comes to visit, and Stephanie gets a two million dollar bracelet. Bite him again, bunny.

April 27, 2016 — GH, Little Reunion, Baby Number Two & NYC Wives

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Hayden meets Curtis at The Floating Rib. She snaps her fingers for the waitstaff and Curtis suggests she not be rude, lest their be retaliation like spitting in her food.

Epiphany has to do inventory and is not too pleased. She tells Finn there’s a problem with the pill count in the dispensory. She’s being audited because someone else didn’t do their job.

Tracy is ready to leave the hospital in the morning. She tells Finn she’s not done with him yet. He asks if that’s a backgammon invitation, but she says it’s more serious than that.

Dillon and Kiki are in the garage. He asks how Kiki is holding up and she says so far, so good.

Kristina goes to visit Morgan and bumps into a young guy.

Julian tells someone (probably Hammer, since he’s the only guy who works for the organization) on the phone to find out who the eyewitness is and make sure he doesn’t talk.

Once again, Jason and Sam get caught in the rain. They run into a stable. Someone is watching them from outside.

Hayden tells Curtis things haven’t been going well. He asks what about her end game? She tells him Nicholas tricked her by selling the ELQ shares to Jason. She says it’s over, both her marriage and taking over ELQ. She says she thought about making restitution to her father’s clients, but she can’t do that with only $5 million. She checked the prenup and there’s no way out of Nicholas giving it to her. Curtis says clearly they’re from different circles, since where he comes from losers don’t get a consolation prize like that. He advises her to take the money and run.

Tracy tells Finn that there’s going to be an emergency hospital board meeting. She says Obrecht isn’t acting in the best interest of the hospital. She’s staging a coup, and when the dust settles, Finn will be on staff.

Jason gives Sam his coat and they kiss.

Alexis brings Leo downstairs. He wasn’t sleeping and caught her looking at him. Julian says he’s having a problem at the office. Alexis asks who it is he wants to make sure doesn’t talk?

Dillon doesn’t want to wait for the auto service, so he decides to change the tire himself. Kiki asks if he wants to make movies, why did he leave LA? Dillon says his brother was worried about his mom, his dad moved back to town, and life happened. He says he was glad to be there when his mom got sick though. He talks about Maxie’s sister, Georgie, and how she was murdered and he gets why Kiki wants to hid from the world. He says things were better once he decided to go back out into the world.

New guy says he hasn’t met Morgan yet. Kristina tells him to look at the place like a clinic, not a loony bin, but he says he’s there to visit someone. While he’s talking to her, Morgan comes out and new guy leaves.

Kristina gives Morgan a playlist of upbeat music. Morgan tells her new guy was totally hitting on her.

Curtis gives Hayden sports analogies to tell her to focus on what she has, not what she lost. She says if she got the ELQ money, she could have paid some people back. Curtis says that was her father’s problem, and she shouldn’t feel obligated to clean up the mess. She says she has to meet someone who will prbably have more bad news.

Julian tells Alexis he was calling in a favor because his family’s safety is his first priority. He says he hired a legit security firm, but Alexis says she doesn’t want or need it. He says it’s a high profile case with a lot at stake for a lot of people. Alexis asks if he’s done anything to compromise himself or the case, but Julian says no. He takes Leo back to bed.

It’s still pouring. Jason saw a car pull up, but although he tried to get their attention, they left. Sam is stressing about Franco, but Jason tells her not to worry. Sam says she’s afraid for Jason and doesn’t want anything to take him away from her or Danny. Jason suggests they find a way to keep warm.

Kristina asks Morgan if he heard about her and Parker. Morgan asks who is he? Kristina explains what happened and how she got suspended, and by the way, Parker is a woman. Morgan is like, really? you got suspended? Kristina says it’s funny he’s more focused on that than her trying to have sex with a woman. Morgan says that’s how it goes in college and at least he’s not the only screw up now.

Hayden comes to Tracy’s hospital room. Tracy introduces her to Finn. Finn tells Tracy good luck and Tracy says she’ll see him soon. Hayden asks if Tracy called her in to gloat. Tracy tells her she’s fired.

Epiphany says she has to ask Finn something and she’s dreading it.

Alexis looks at the preliminary report from the eyewitness. Julian says he guesses he’s not allowed to look at it and she tells him he guessed right and puts it in her bag. She says it’s not great for the marriage to keep secrets, but it’s necessary. Julian says as long as his old life seeps into their new one, it has to be done. She says her head gets it, but her heart doesn’t like it. Julian says the eyewitness feels like a plant, like something Sonny would do. Alexis says the witness doesn’t seem that credible.

Kiki talks about depression and like it’s losing all hope even when it’s given back to you. Dillon asks if that’s how she feels and she says she shouldn’t because she survived and everything is fine now. Dillon says just because the body is healed doesn’t mean the spirit is healed on the same timetable. Kiki says Morgan seems to be getting better an she wishes she would to.

Kristina says Sonny doesn’t know about Parker being a woman. Morgan thinks he’d be accepting, but Kristina says she doesn’t want to test that right now. Morgan thanks her for acting normal and not making him feel like the biggest screw up in the world. She says it takes one to know one.

Finn asks if there have been more complaints about Roxie. Epiphany says no, but asks him if he can sing. He asks if she’s asking him out to karaoke and she says she has a boyfriend. She tells him about the Nurses Ball and says she’ll be expecting him to participate. he says he has no talents and she says he’ll fit right in.

Hayden tells Tracy she knows she lost everything, mostly because of her own bad decisions. Tracy says Hayden was successful before her father ruined things. Tracy says she hates wasted potential. Hayden says don’t worry, she won’t ask for a reference. Tracy says she sometimes almost feels sorry for Hayden, then she remembers what a self-serving bitch she is. Hayden says she doesn’t need Tracy’s sympathy and walks out the door, nearly running into Finn. He asks if she really feels badly about the lives that were ruined by her and her father.

Jason and Sam cuddle, and Jason talks about how happy she’s made him. He says he’s concerned though about getting into it with Nicholas and Franco, and doesn’t want any payback. Sam says she feels safest when she’s with him.

Hayden asks if Finn invested money with her father and she’s sorry. He says someone he cared about had been affected. She says she had no idea what her father was doing until it was too late and if she could make restitution, she would. Finn says yeah, right.

Alexis says she said too much already, so just forget it. Julian says he shouldn’t have pressed, but it seems fishy that someone should step forward right now. Alexis hears Leo on the monitor. She tells Julian she loves their life together and goes to check on the baby. No surprise, Julian heads straight for her bag and looks at the paper.

Dillon gets the tire changed and complements Kiki on being out in the world without a meltdown. He asks if she wants to go for ice cream and she says yes.

Kristina runs into new guy again on her way out. He asks if he can call her some time. Introducing himself would be a great start.

Julian calls Hammer. He tells him he has the witness’s name and address, and to shut him up no matter what it takes.

Tracy tells Finn she couldn’t help but overhear his conversation with Hayden. She asks who the person was who was hurt by Hayden’s father.

Hayden tells Curtis that Tracy wanted to see her to fire her in person, and then one of the doctors jumped her about her father. Curtis says she could leave town, but he’d miss her. She says hasn’t he heard she’s a con woman with a heart of stone? He says he knows her better than that. She says every time she turns around something worse happens. He says that’s the good news; it can’t get any worse since she’s hit rock bottom.

Curtis goes to get drinks and two FBI guys approach the table and say Hayden has to come with them.

Sam is concerned Franco will push Jason until he reacts. Jason says she should be more worried about him doing something dangerous. Someone is peeping through the window.

Tomorrow, Sonny tells Carly he doesn’t want her anywhere near the situation, Tracy is released from the hospital, and Franco comes home to Nina.

Little Women: LA — The Reunion, Part One

Kevin Frazier is hosting. Was Vivica A. Fox busy? Or did she get some real work?

First, the flash backs. Weddings, tea throwing, whining, social media, more whining.

Kevin asks what it’s like to relive the moments. How does he think? It brings up all the past crap again. He asks about Briana’s wedding and if she’s glad Christy came without being invited. She says it was bittersweet. They’re both going through a lot, but communication is open.

Moving on to the babies. Kevin thinks they should have a mid-wife on set with all the pregnancies. (BTW, all of the ladies look fabulous. They’ve really come into their own styles.) Elena is miffed that she can’t wear heels, but says it’s all worth it. Briana says she’s feeling big and a lot is going on in her personal life. Kevin says Matt left two children in Seattle and wonders if Briana’s concerned he’ll leave her, but she says it’s more likely she’ll leave him. Terra is now pregnant with baby number two. Christy says she’s happy for Terra and Terra says she’s just as fake as always. Terra says even being pregnant, she’s thinner than Christy on her best day. Whoa.

Kevin asks Christy if she has adoption news and she starts crying. I assume the news isn’t good. Poor Todd gets brought into the fray. We flash back to all the Christy and Todd baby stuff and Christy harping on him to lose weight. Todd says that they’re baby got scooped out from under them by another family.

Kevin asks Terra for her input, but she says it’s none of her business, especially since they’ve affected her home life, which is none of their business. Kevin asks Todd about the weight issue and if gastric bypass is still on the table. He says he’s lost 30 pounds on his own, so the jury is still out. Exit Todd. That was fast.

On to the “challenges” of friendship, and a few volatile scenes between Terra and Tonya. Kevin asks Tonya if she was surprised at all the screaming and yelling on Terra’s part. Tonya says she dropped the ball as far as Penny’s surgery went, but she did call and text.

Commercial break with important information. Little Women: NYC is back on Wednesday, May 4.

Elena says Terra sometimes thinks she’s a super woman who can do everything. She says sometimes Terra says she doesn’t want help when she really does. Terra gets emotional and expects everyone to be a mind reader. Kevin asks if things are good or still strained between the three of them and Terra says a bunch of stuff that doesn’t really answer that question.

Kevin says one relationship that’s been consistently cold, but has started thawing, is Jasmine and Elena. We flash back to Elena being pretty stubborn about Jasmine’s inclusion into the group. Kevin asks Jasmine if she thinks jealousy was involved and she says only on Elena’s part. Elena balks at that and Kevin asks how it’s going now. They both say things are cool. I have to add that Jasmine’s magenta hair extensions or highlights look fantastic.

Kevin asks Briana if she has any friends left in the group and we flash back to all that mess, ending with the Matt sexting business. Briana says she and Terra will never be best friends, but things are copacetic now. Terra asks if she can understand how they felt shafted by Christy, who told them she wasn’t supportive of the marriage, but told Briana a different story.

Kevin asks why the ladies decided to confront Briana about the sexting. Jasmine is pretty pissed because she’d been supportive of Matt and then he proved to be a jerk. They’re all annoyed about Matt acting like a sex-crazed idiot when Briana is pregnant and Tonya says clearly he doesn’t love Briana. I’m with Jasmine on this, since I was also supportive of Matt throughout the season and he turned out to be such a huge disappointment.

Tonya says they saw the evidence from day one, but Briana refused to listen. Kevin asks Briana if Matt can do no wrong in her eyes. Briana says he’s been gone from the house for a week now and Terra says he’s just visiting his kids. Kevin asks for clarification and Briana says they’re on a break. No one is really letting her talk though. Kevin says hold on, she’s in a tough position. He doesn’t condone the behavior, but says Briana is pregnant, so cut her some slack. He asks if she still loves Matt and she says she has to figure it out. Elena says there’s a lot on Briana’s shoulders and the world isn’t black and white. She says that some people can forgive more than others and this is something Briana has to figure out for herself. Kevin says it’s a hard decision, what Matt’s done is very wrong, but not everything is cut and dried. He asks if she ever regrets getting pregnant, but Briana says she can’t say that.

Enter Matt. Better hide all throwable objects. And the chairs. Jasmine refuses to sit near him and moves to the other side. She asks him if he even knows how much pain he’s causing Briana and on top of it, he made her look like an idiot for defending him. She asks him why, and he says there’s no excuse, so he’s not even going to try. He says he’s sorry and he knows that seems meaningless coming from him, but it’s the best he can say. We flash back to all the awful Matt moments this season. And also the wedding.

Kevin asks Matt why. Matt starts to talk about his past and the women start laughing and putting in their two cents. Matt says he’s desperate for attention, especially sexual, and he’s trying to figure things out. Kevin asks how many women he’s been involved with and he says he’s not sure and barely remembers most of the conversations with them. Tonya talks about him not having a job and idle hands being the devil’s workshop.

Christy says she’s an addict and it’s something you have to work on daily. Tonya says he’ll always disrespect Briana and he doesn’t love her. Kevin asks why Matt stayed with Briana and got her pregnant when he was involved with these other women? Kevin takes Matt to task and tells him he should give everyone answers, since he had no problem giving out d*ck pics. Now, I’m not defending Matt in any way, but it would be nice if they’d let him answer. He’s barely been able to get a word in with the ladies barraging him.

Kevin says this should be the happiest time in Briana’s life and she has to deal with some hard stuff. Matt says he was sexually abused as a child. He says he never told anyone, so he can’t blame his family for not helping him. He says he goes for immediate gratification. Terra says he’s just trying to validate his actions. Tonya says she was molested and she didn’t react like that because there couldn’t possibly be a different reaction than hers. Kevin asks what Elena thinks. She says Matt needs to grow up and stop his behavior if he’s serious about Briana.

Kevin asks if Briana thinks Matt has stopped his behavior, but no one let’s her talk. She says she’s not sure because he’s said it was over before. His past aggressiveness is brought up. Kevin reads a tabloid article about Matt’s domestic violence and asks if the statement is true. Matt says no. Kevin says some of the ladies asked to be separated from him and he says he’s never touched a woman. He brings up Terra throwing the glass. Touche.

Everyone starts talking at once. There is some animosity between Terra and Christy. Kevin asks if when Matt heard his own texts, if he was embarrassed. Briana says she told him to leave for a week and he did. Haven’t we been here before? Along with the word “break?” Kevin says they’re going to read some of the texts when they come back from break. During the break, Briana and Matt say they’re not staying. Kevin says he can understand Briana not wanting to be there, but Matt should take his medicine.

This reunion is tough to watch because no one has any control and you can’t hear what anyone is saying.

Next week, The Reunion, part two — Briana is hurt, the men join the group, and the ice tea incident is discussed.

Terra’s Little Family

Tonya discourages Terra from having another baby. Elena agrees. Terra tells them both to shut up because she’s pregnant. She leaves the table.

Terra tells us she was late, but it wasn’t unusual. Then she took two pregnancy tests and it was confirmed.

Tonya feels awful about what she said. Terra comes back all sniffly. She says she didn’t want to say anything because she hasn’t told Joe yet. She says she’s crying because this is the second time she told friends before Joe. She says she’s scared because she knows it’s a lot to take on, but in her heart, she knows she can do it. She really is happy though. Tonya and Elena say they’re there for her.

It’s time for Terra to tell Joe she’s pregnant. She says it took a lot of convincing to just get him to try again, so she isn’t sure how he’s going to take the news of it happening so fast. She has a “Big Sis” onsie for Penny and that’s how she’s going to make the announcement.

Joe is having coffee and Terra brings Penny in. She says she has something she needs to tell him. Then she asks if he made his doctor’s appointment yet. He’s like, huh? She says she put Penny in a special outfit. She turns Penny around and says she’s pregnant.

Joe starts laughing and says it wasn’t supposed to happen yet. He says he couldn’t be happier and he loves her. Terra says how could he not want another one of these, showing him Penny. She is very adorable. Joe says she’s not even a year old and she’s a big sis. Joe figures it must have happened on the camping trip and hopes they don’t have a wookiee.

Terra tells him that she told Elena and Tonya. She tears up, but Joe doesn’t think it’s a big deal. He says all he cares about it them and the baby being healthy. She says she knows he still has to deal with his health issues and encourages him to make an appointment for his shot. She wants him to get in shape with her and he says round is a shape. Ha-ha!

Terra wants to do a family photo shoot before she gets huge. She’s gotten matching onsie pajamas for them to wear. Joe isn’t thrilled and says he’ll look like a big, fuzzy tomato. He says he booked his cortisone shot. Terra is happy about that and he asks if that will give him a reprieve from the onsie idea, but that’s a no.

Joe and Terra go to Joe’s consultation. Joe is scared to death of needles, but he’s in so much pain, he has to lean on something when he stands. The doctor says it’s a safe procedure, but there are risks, and it doesn’t help everybody. He says it’s the size of an acupuncture needle, which surprises me.

It’s picture time! Joe says the onsie theme is weird and embarrassing and he can’t believe Terra is making him do it. She says it will be cute. We all agree one size does not fit all and Terra adjusts Joe’s outfit. They do look cute, but this seems like a picture you’d use for a Christmas card.

Joe says he doesn’t remember what it’s like for his back not to hurt and is hoping that the shot works for him. He wants to be able to interact with Penny and the new baby without pain. Terra tells him regardless, he’s a great father.

Terra goes with Joe to get his shot. He’s pretty nervous and remembers the surgeries he had when he was a kid. They have a problem with the IV and have to do it again. Ugh. I know how stressful that is, since it’s happened to me. They give Joe oxygen to help him relax. He thinks he’s going to pass out. He’s petrified of needles, but wants to be the best he can be for his family.

Joe tells the doctor he felt something and asks if it’s normal. The doctor thinks it’s okay. Everything seems to go well and Joe is in recovery. Terra tells him she’s proud of him. Joe says he’ll drive, but Terra is like, no.

A few days later, there’s no change, but the doctor says to give it some time. I hope it works for him. I feel invested in this. Joe and Terra go to the pre-natal appointment. Because Terra has irregular periods, the doctor thought it would take a while, so he’s surprised too. The doctor determines that she’s five weeks and five days. They do a sonogram. The doctor says at this point, all they’ll see is a gestational sack. Yep, there it is. The doctor says he doesn’t see the heartbeat yet and has them make another appointment. Terra asks if it’s possible there’s nothing there and the doctor says there’s always that possibility, but they have to wait and see.

Terra is worried about a miscarriage, and meets with Tonya for lunch since she doesn’t want to burden Joe. She tells Tonya what happened with the sonogram. She says it would be devastating if it was a false alarm. Tonya tells her not to cry and gives her a hug. She says everything will be okay and tells Terra to focus on Penny. They’re about to get the MRI results which will determine if Penny needs a shunt.

Terra thinks the decompression surgery really helped and hopes this is the last doctor visit they have for a while. Dr. Danielpour specializes in little people neurosurgery. They look at the results and it looks good. The doctor does point out the damage to the spinal cord which might never go away. Penny’s head size is checked. The doctor says they’re not out of the woods yet in terms of whether or not she needs a shunt. He says you don’t want to do it if you don’t have to, and they should know by the time she’s a year old.

Terra is kind of bummed, but Joe says that there was no diagnosis yet. She says she thought they were free and clear, and he says they’re not, but they can handle it.

It’s time for the next ultrasound. Terra is afraid if they lose the baby, Joe will change his mind about having a second one.

It’s there! Along with the heartbeat. Penny is a big sister. Happiness abounds!

The doctor asks if there’s been spotting and Terra says no. He says they don’t need to make restrictions then. Joe says they needed the good news. Terra says having Penny changed their lives, and Joe says they weren’t prepared for the half of it. Penny is developing at her own pace. Although the physical development is a beat behind, she’s on target mentally. They don’t know whether the baby will be a little person or average sized yet.

They say they still have a long way to go, but they’ll get through it together.

The Real Housewives of NYC

Duly noted that in her tagline, Ramona says that like wine, she gets better with time, not age.

Bethenny is loving the Hamptons. I would too if I had this house. She’s having an anything goes, no airs party.

John and Dorinda are staying at Jules’s place. Dorinda says John is going to be a gentleman and apologize. John acts clueless, but we see a conversation where Dorinda tells him what an a-hole he was. She coaches him on what to say. Jules tells him not to add fuel to the fire. Dorinda asks if they have to review everything again. Jules says deep down John is a teddy bear, but that’s not what I’d call him.

Carole arrives at Bethenny’s with her dog. A playmate for Cookie! This time it’s a real barbecue, not a Kyle Richards barbecue. Bethenny tells Carole about what happened with John at the bra after party. She says she needs to back off because Dorinda and John obviously have something odd going on. She’s surprised he’s coming to the party. Bethenny warns Carole that the Countess will be there. Carole says her plan is to keep a friendly distance.

Ramona is next with some guy whose name I missed, but I don’t think he’s a date. It’s autumn and just gorgeous outside. A crowd gathers quickly. Okay, Ramona’s guest is talking about smokey eyes. He’s definitely not a date.

Carole tells her Jules is having a brunch, but Ramona will be busy recovering from her date. Here come Dorinda, John, Jules and Michael. John wants to just hang out by the cocktail bar, but Dorinda says that’s not happening. Jules says she would never want to be in John’s position.

John flounders, standing by himself. Bethenny points everyone toward the food. Dorinda says Bethenny is ignoring John and prompts him to talk to her. He claims to not be nervous and he probably isn’t because he’s too stupid to be. Bethenny thinks neither one of them probably remembers the incident. She thinks she should have been honest and told Dorinda not to bring him.

John wanders around with a drink in his hand like an alcoholic dinosaur. He finally parks himself near Dorinda who is sitting with Ramona and Jules.

The Countess arrives. Carole says she always seems to make an entrance. The Countess immediately picks up a hula hoop and fails at it miserably. Dorinda introduces her to Jules and Michael. Bethenny tells Carole the Countess is clearly uncomfortable. Since she can’t find a place to sit, the Countess sits with Dorinda and company.

Carole says she feels badly for John. Bethenny says it’s time to hit the bar. She has a whole separate bar on her property and it’s the coolest thing. She talks about John lurking in the shadows. She talks to the Countess, asking if she’s uncomforable with Carole. The Countess says she thinks Carole is the one who’s uncomfortable. Bethenny says the Countess doesn’t get it and doesn’t remember anything past five minutes ago. Bethenny says she has her own bs and feels like she’s hiding at her own party. The Countess asks why she just didn’t un-invite John and Bethenny says something about Dorinda being fragile.

Ramona jets, saying the party is weird. Bethenny tries to get the Countess to talk to Carole and she says she needs a drink.

Finally it happens. John asks for Bethenny’s attention. He sits next to her, and she and Carole leave to get a drink. Bethenny says don’t follow the tiger in the cage. Dorinda is a little annoyed, saying at least be nice to guests you invited.

The Countess tells Carole that she can’t avoid her forever, but Carole says yes she can. Bethenny comes back out with s’mores stuff. Carole says that John is like a little boy, pulling the ponytail of a girl he likes. Everyone has s’mores. The Countess tells Carole they need to talk at some point, but she’s glad to see her since she hasn’t in so long. Carole says of course not. The last time they talked, they ended up screaming at each other.

The Countess wants to go aside, but Carole says say whatever right here. The Countess says they’ve both said hurtful things, but Carole says no, the Countess said hurtful things. She says the Countess said a lot of crazy stuff on social media, like that Carole broke up her niece and Adam. She was even talking about Carole’s writing. The Countess, who can’t come up with one thing Carole has said about her, says they can agree to not be friends, but be nice to each other when they see each other. In her interview, Carole points out there was no apology. The Countess tells Bethenny that Carole didn’t give her a chance to apologize. Jules says the brunch is going to be a sh*tshow because she didn’t realize the Countess and Carole didn’t get along.

John corners Bethenny in the bar. She tells him to step outside if he wants to talk. Bethenny says she doesn’t know what he remembers and he just thinks he was rude. She says she doesn’t care about his personality, but he came in thinking he had a smoking gun and said some uneducated things. He says she does that too, but he’s not going into it because it’s her birthday party. What it really is, is like the Countess, he can’t come up with any actual examples. He says Bethenny said things to upset Dorinda, but doesn’t know exactly what Bethenny said. He says she called him an opportunist and that’s what Bethenny is. She says yes, but not on the backs of other people. He says he apologizes for going out of bounds for someone he loved. Bethenny says he doesn’t even know what he’s apologizing for and the details are at the bottom of a tequila bottle somewhere.

Jules thinks Bethenny is selfish because she’s not ignoring John’s alcoholic idiocy. Dorinda is embarrassed by the whole thing and the Countess follows her outside. Dorinda says she’s trying to establish a relationship with Bethenny and keep her relationship with John going. Bethenny says she’ll have to put aside being repulsed by John because she really does like Dorinda and it’s not cool for party guests to be crying.

The Countess and Dorinda are leaving. Bethenny tells Dorinda that she and John can be cordial for her sake. She finds John and tells him that Dorinda is the most upset of the three of them, like a kid in a divorce, and that everything is fine between them. They leave happy. Bethenny says this is the best birthday she’s ever had since she’s not crying in a bathroom or divorced, and she hasn’t verbally assaulted anyone.

It’s time for brunch at Jules’s house. John brings out one of the biggest bottles of wine I’ve ever seen. He gets nosy about the Countess and Carole. Bethenny thought there was going to be a crowd, but Carole tells her there’s only going to be seven of them. Bethenny has brought cinnamon babka. I just had my first babka — a chocolate one — and it was amazing.

John answers the door, not exactly putting Bethenny at ease. Construction is going on and Jules tells them it’s a seven year project. We flash back to Alex and Simon’s three year project a million years ago. They start to eat and Bethenny talks construction with Michael. No surprise, Bethenny has a lot of unwelcome opinions.

Michael asks how Bethenny enjoyed her birthday. A bee comes in the house and John says he’s allergic. In her interview, Bethenny wonders if it’s bad to want to cover him in honey. Bethenny points out to Carole that Jules isn’t eating. She says it’s textbook to have a lot of food out and push it on other people.

The Countess makes her entrance, toting a guy named Paul. Jules is going to have a tour of the house and Carole wants to leave. Michael ropes Bethenny and Michael into a mini tour. They come across the great leveler — dog poop. No matter how rich you are, your dog will still poop on the floor. Bethenny and Carole slip out.

Jules gripes to Dorinda about Bethenny. Dorinda feels badly because Bethenny burst Jules’s bubble with her negativity.

Next week, Jules is having a hard time with Bethenny’s opinions, Ramona visits her daughter, Jules talks about eating disorders, and the Countess and Bethenny get into it.

April 26, 2016 — GH, Temptation Tuesday & BH Deuxième Reunion

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Ric calls Sonny from the police station and says there’s been a development in the Carrrlos case.

Alexis says she shouldn’t have touched the dagger. She tells Julian they’re going to lose everything.

A guy named Hale talks to Jordan. She asks him what information he has about Duke’s murder.

Carly comes into Sonny’s office and asks if he’s almost done with work because it’s time for his birthday dinner. He says he’s waiting for a call from Ric.

Hale jumps up and wants to leave. Jordan says hold on a minute. She asks if he wants her to call a friend for support. Hale says he doesn’t want to involve anyone else and that he saw Duke get shot.

Alexis hands Julian the dagger, telling him to get rid of it, but then she takes it back, saying she’s not ready. She tells him that she and Molly got into a fight about her defending Carrrlos. She says Molly told her she’s compromising her ethics, and Julian asks what she thinks. She waffles.

Ava brings takeout to Franco’s place for her and Kiki. She says circumstances have changed and she’d like Kiki to come home now. Kiki says she doesn’t want to.

Nina literally runs into Dillon and her packages go flying everywhere. Dillon asks her to join him for a drink, but she says she remembers what happened last time and she wants to keep it professional.

At the hospital, Jason starts to choke Franco. Obrecht comes by and says she’ll call security. Franco threatens to tell Jason’s son the truth and Jason starts to choke him again. Sam runs in and says Franco is playing Jason and wants him to react like that. Jason lets Franco go and leaves with Sam. Obrecht asks if what Sam said was true.

Nina asks how much Dillon wants to keep her lapse in judgment from Julian. He says nothing and she thinks he’s going to sue her. He says he’s done way worse and would never hold it against her or judge her and just wants them to be cool. He asks if Franco got angry that they kissed. Nina says she hasn’t told him and he wouldn’t care anyway.

Obrecht says if Jason doesn’t want Franco’s services anymore, that’s the way it goes. Franco says Jake needs him and she says he should have thought about that before goading his father. Franco asks if he’s supposed to just bite the bullet and Obrecht says she does that every day. He says it’s time for him to be the Franco he was born to be. Whatever that means.

Ava asks Kiki if she doesn’t want to come home and Kiki says she is home. Ava says Avery will be home soon, she just has some details to iron out. Kiki says she thinks she needs to stay where she is for multiple reasons. Ava says she has to go and tells Kiki she loves her.

Carly wonders where Jocelyn’s kidney came from if it didn’t come from Jake. Ric interrupts the conversation between her and Sonny.

Alexis gets a call that her motion to dismiss is being ruled on.

Jordan asks Hale to tell her in his own words what he saw and asks why it took him so long to come forward. He says he was using and living on the streets, doing anything to get his next fix. He was breaking into cars at the MetroCourt and heard angry voices, and Julian’s name was mentioned. He says one guy was in a tux and the other guy in street clothes. They struggled over the gun and when it went off, the tuxedo guy had been shot. Jordan shows him Duke’s picture and he says that’s the guy who was shot. She shows him a sheet of pictures and asks if the guy in street clothes is there. He points to Carrrlos.

Sonny asks if he can talk to Ric tomorrow, but Carly says do it now and he has five minutes. Ric tells Sonny about the eyewitness coming forward, adding “happy birthday.”

Jordan calls the judge. Hale asks if she doesn’t believe him and she says she’s just going to verify his story. He says part of his program is making amends and he’s trying to do the right thing. She says she’s just doing her job and goes out into the office. Alexis comes in and Jordan says any charges against Carrrlos aren’t going away because they have an eyewitness. She says Carrrlos is going down and probably Julian with him.

Ava tells Julian what Kiki told her and says she wants to bring Avery home. Julian says the organization understands there’s no benefit in coming after her. She asks why they’d listen to him and he says because he’s in charge now.

Jason and Sam go for a drink. Jason says Franco is manipulating Jake. Sam suggests he talk to Elizabeth, but Jason says Franco nearly caused him to commit murder. He tells Sam about the flash of memory.

Nina tells Dillon that Kiki never leaves the apartment. He thinks she should talk to Franco.

Obrecht tells Franco not to let Jason destroy everything he has. She says he’s done well with his patients and he says not so well with Nina. Obrecht says to keep trying because it’s clear they were meant to be together. He says she’s sweet, but misguided. He gets a text from Nina saying she wants to talk and he projects, saying that means it’s over. Obrecht says if he wants to talk, she’ll be at The Floating Rib.

Ava says what about Julian’s promises to Alexis and his daughters? Julian says his sister was in trouble and he realized the importance of family, so he took the reigns. She asks what Alexis thinks. Julian says she doesn’t know and he’s not telling her.

Alexis says it’s a little odd that a stranger who claims to have seen Duke’s murder should suddenly show up on the day she’s getting the charges dropped.

Ric says they’re a long way from a trial and a guilty verdict isn’t assured. Sonny says an eyewitness is just what they needed, and Ric says hmm…what a coincidence.

Sam says she wants to move forward and hopes Jason can do the same. He asks what Franco had against them and Sam says he was obsessed with Jason.

At the bar, Obrecht tells Nina to make up with Franco. Nina asks if Franco talked to her, but she says it’s obvious they’re not communicating. She tells Nina to put on her big girl pants and make it work. Nina says he’s not answering her texts and Obrecht says leave that to her.

Franco tells Kiki he’s on his way home and he doesn’t want to talk to Nina. There’s a knock at the door. Franco gets a text from Obrecht to meet her and tells Kiki he’s not coming home after all. Kiki answers the door and it’s Dillon. He asks Kiki if she knows how to change a flat tire.

Dillon says it was a long day at work, all he wanted to do is get home and boom! flat tire. Kiki asks what he’s doing on that side of town and he says to get cheap gas. Kiki mentions Maxie’s engagement party and Dillon says it was great. In getting him to say he was there, Kiki knows he wasn’t at work and Dillon admits he came to check on her.

Sam says Franco was jealous of Jason. Jason says he saw the old Franco at the hospital and doesn’t want him near Jake. Franco walks in and then walks back out. Nina sees him and asks Obrecht what’s up with that?

Carly tells Sonny to watch what he delegates to Ric, who’s a snake in the grass. Sonny says with Ric’s help, he’s going to find out where Jocelyn’s kidney came from.

Ava is concerned that Sonny will find out. Julian says he won’t and she’s not to tell anyone. Alexis comes in and Julian says she’s back pretty quick. She says a witness showed up and ID’d Carrrlos. She says it’s not over though, since the whole thing is suspect. Julian tells her Leo is upstairs and Alexis goes to check on him. Ava tells Julian to use the organization’s resources to get rid of Carrrlos.

Kiki asks Dillon who sent him and he says no one. He says he was concerned about her and just stopped by to visit. Kiki says she’s fine. He says since she’s okay, can she help him with his car? He let air out of one of the tires so his story would seem plausible. Enter Nina. Kiki says they’re going out for a while and don’t wait up. Nina asks where Franco is and Kiki says he never came home.

Jason asks Sam if she wants to go on an adventure with his bike on the open road. She says sure, and they leave. Someone is watching.

Jordan gives Hale her card. She says they’ll schedule a formal deposition with the DA. She tells him they’ll make it quick and painless, but it’s good practice if they go to trial. Hale is nervous about that, but she says the odds of it gong to trial are slim and Alexis will probably convince Carrrlos to take the deal.

Julian balks at killing an associate to save himself and Ava says it’s a cruel world. Julian says he’ll figure out another way.

Sonny says he wants to find out the truth for Carly. She thanks him.

Julian makes a phone call telling someone to take care of “it”

Tomorrow, Curtis tells Hayden to take the money and run, someone is stalking Sam and Jason, and Finn isn’t done yet at the hospital.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Joey hears a key in the lock and takes off for the back door with Faun. The door is locked, so she hides in his bedroom. Lushion is at the door and Joey pretends it’s just stuck. Lushion heads for the breadbox, but it’s empty. He tells Joey he’s looking for a brown paper bag with a disk in it.

Lushion calls Natalie, but gets voicemail. He tells Joey he needs help to find it and Joey wonders what a disk looks like. Natalie calls back and tells him to look in the breadbox, but he tells her it’s not there. She says she’ll be right home.

Lushion rifles through the freezer. Natalie comes in and says it was in the breadbox, but maybe one of the kids moved it. She starts opening cupboards and drawers. She asks what’s on the disk and he says don’t worry about it. Natalie asks Joey to help look. She wants to look in his bedroom and he says he already looked. She says it was probably a half-assed look and tells him to go help Lushion while she double checks.

Natalie sees Faun’s shoe sticking out from under the bed and calls Lushion, who draws his gun. Faun pops out and apologizes. Natalie starts to say something to Joey, but Lushion says they really have to find the disk. She tells Faun to get out. Lushion asks Natalie if Pete told her what was on the disk, but she says no. He asks how she could forget about telling him and she says a lot has been going on and gives him a laundry list. He says he has to go back to the station and she says she’ll keep looking. He tells her it’s of the utmost importance. Natalie says she’ll go back to Alex’s and wake the kids and ask them if they know where it is.

Julius goes to Randal’s house. Randal asks how Julius’s dad is. Julius says he’s hanging in there. He asks Randal about Tilda. Julius says she told him he has a sister and asks if that’s true. Randal says he should talk to his father. Julius just wants to know if it’s the truth and Randal says yes, but he never met her. Julius asks who knows her and Randal says her mother.

Outside, Faun tells Joey she told him so. She says she has to go and Joey asks to come along because his mother is going to kill him. She says no. She asks about their relationship, but Joey is evasive. She says she thought they were dating exclusively. He hems and haws and she says she has to go.

Quan approaches Joey who tells him to get lost. Quan says he’s dead and Joey tells him to bring it and whatever. Quan says when Joey is dead, he’s going to “hit that,” meaning Faun. I can’t stand that phrase, but I’m supposed to hate Quan, so it’s working.

Natalie is still shaking everything down, looking for the disk. She asks Joey if he’s trying to get her fired again. He says he and Faun were just watching a movie. Natalie tells him not to bring Faun there again. She asks what it’s going to take for him to listen and says he has one more chance.

Julius visits his father in the hospital. Lawyer Sonny says they just gave him something to sleep and he’s out of it. Julius asks what the doctor said and Sonny says it’s probably a matter of weeks. Julius asks why he’s there and Sonny says the will. Julius wants to find out what’s in it, but that’s a no.

They talk in the hall and Sonny says Julius’s father wanted to change the will. Julius says he already knows about Tilda and asks what about him? Sonny says everything was left to them and nothing to him. Julius gets pretty mad and Sonny says he’s sorry. Julius asks if the papers are signed and Sonny tells him tomorrow. The elevator opens and Tilda pops out.

Julius tells her to leave. She tells him to move or she’ll move him. She says all Julius is doing is making his father sicker. She asks if he’s trying to kill his father and he leaves. Tilda tells Sonny they should get security and he’d better keep an eye on Julius.

Kelly and Esperanza check on Alex and the nameless baby. Alex says she can see his personality already. Kelly and Esperanza talk about how their kids are growing up too fast. Alex is worried that her son will start asking questions before she’s ready to answer them. Esperanza teases Kelly about Ramses. Kelly isn’t sure if he likes her like that, but Alex says she thinks he does. Kelly says she would be grateful for a good man in her life and it’s hard raising a boy as a single mom. Alex says she guesses she’ll find out. Kelly says she’s sorry, but Alex says don’t say that; she did this and she’ll work it out. Kelly says she’s proud of Alex, especially how she handled Randal and Brad. Kelly says they come around when they see you’ve stepped into your strength. Alex says she’ll fight tooth and nail to protect her baby.

Esperanza asks what she’s going to do about Randal. Alex says he’s not going to take her child away from her and there’s no way she’ll let that happen. She says she has one option that she’d never consider unless he doesn’t stop. Kelly asks what, but she says she doesn’t want to think about it. Esperanza says it sounds like she’s thinking of something crazy. Alex says she’ll protect her child from anyone and she won’t let Randal take him away. She says the baby is her responsibility.

Kelly suggests she let Randal see the baby, but Alex says no way. Kelly thinks it might get Randal to drop the custody thing. Alex says Brad is the baby’s father, but Kelly says he has to want to be. Alex says she’s tired of being sorry and if these grown men can’t get past this and get in line, she’s going to have to show them what she’s made of. Kelly asks her to reconsider. She says she can’t stand Justice’s father, but she lets him see Justice because he’s his son. She tells her to just think about it, but Alex is firm in her no.

Brad has fallen asleep while he and Marcie were watching TV. He wakes up, wanting to cuddle and she says they shouldn’t, but they spoon. She says it feels good and he agrees. She asks him to let her go and he tells her to let herself be held. She says she’s not Alex and she knows he wishes it was Alex that he was holding. She suggests he go to her, but he says he can’t. She tells him it’s his ego. She says she’s telling him things he can’t tell himself, and they still have a chance once he gets past his anger. She says something happened before he came there and he seems different. Brad says Rusty did even worse things to Alex than he knew. He molested both of his daughters. He says it doesn’t excuse Alex, but it casts a new light on everything. He remembers her shutting down when he would touch her and how she cried the first time they made love.

He says sex became boring and short. Marcie says that explains a lot. He says sex with Marcie made him feel alive, and that he became angry about all he’d lost. Marcie says they can’t do that again and she regrets it. She tells him to go home to Alex and tell her what he just told Marcie. She tells him she’s going to bed and Brad says she’d better lock the door.

At the hospital, Tina tends to Pete. Eddie calls Ben who is sitting outside Pete’s room. Ben says Tina is still there and so is the camera. Eddie says he has it, because apparently he has nothing better to do than hang out at the hospital.

Eddie sees Andrew, who says he works there at night for extra money. Eddie says that’s not how to make extra money. Andrew says he wants in. Eddie says to come see him, but Andrew says he’s there now. Eddie says he doesn’t trust Andrew and that he’s not ready for Team Eddie. Bleh. Eddie leaves.

Julius gets in the elevator with Eddie and calls him “copper.” Really? In 2016? Julius tells him he heard he got shot and he needs to lay off the cocaine since he thinks he can take on the world. Eddie says Julius is just a punk ass wannabe when his father has all the reach. Eddie makes a yo momma comment. Again, in 2016? Julius says when his father is gone, he’s going to be the man, and when he comes for Eddie, it’s not going to be a drive-by. Julius tells him to look out for Quan.

Eddie asks who Quan is and Julius says Eddie took his money, really Eddie’s money. Julius says he’ll see him soon and gets off the elevator. Eddie ponders whatever is in his pea brain.

Julius goes to his father’s room. The guard says he’s resting and Julius says he brought his favorite candle. He asks if Tilda was there and asks what the guard knows about her. The guard blows him off. Julius says he’s next after his father dies and goes into the room

Julius picks up a pillow to smother his father. He puts the pillow over the old man’s face and the alarms go off.

Next time, Marcie asks Brad if he’s turned on, Kelly calls out Randal to his mother, Eddie smacks Ben and Randal’s mother talks to Alex.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills — The Reunion, Part Two

OMG — I don’t know if I can hear Munchhausen again without screaming and never stopping.

We backtrack a little, with LisaR accusing LVP of manipulating the Munchhausen situation. (Can you hear me, wracked with sobs?) Yolanda leaves. LisaR wants LVP to own it. Another phrase I’m growing weary of.

Erika goes into the dressing room with Yolanda, while LisaR keeps saying she did it, meaning she began the whole Munchhausen debacle. Erika comes back and says it was just a mild meltdown and Yolanda will BRB. LisaR says she woudn’t have brought up the word without LVP encouraging her to say it. She keeps saying LVP needs to own that phone call.

Yolanda returns. Andy asks who Yolanda believes. She says she wants to believe LVP, but she lost her compass. LVP says she was wrong to doubt Yolanda. Yolanda says LVP is very powerful and amazing, but she manipulates things sometimes to make a great show, and compassion for other people should come first. Andy stirs it by asking who she believes again.

LisaR says LVP talks around and around and it’s making her crazy. She gets up and leaves, but never stops talking and then walks back. Eileen chimes in with something about being true to yourself. Andy brings up LVP saying that Mohammad said nothing was wrong with the kids. Yolanda does say that Mohammad had told LVP the kids were fine, and says that LVP and Mohammad’s friendship was wrecked because of it. God help me. It’s not like she said she didn’t believe anything was wrong with the kids; she just repeated what Mohammad said.

Andy brings up Erika squealing to Yolanda. LisaR was somehow involved and Yolanda gives her a mini-lecture about people with Lyme disease. Yolanda starts to cry and the ladies rally around her. She says there was a lack of compassion, but if she only opened one heart, the sharing was worth it. During the break, LisaR tells Yolanda she hopes they can start over and she didn’t mean any harm. This girl has some kind of problem that I can’t exactly put my finger on. She doesn’t have a filter for sure, but she also seems to go whichever way the wind is blowing.

Kim Richards joins the group. Andy asks about Monte’s passing away. Kim says she lost the best friend she ever had. They go right into the estrangement with Kyle and we see flashbacks of the ladies talking about her throughout the season. Some of it is the unfiltered one’s opinion, which I’ve felt is over-the-top since she’s not related or even close friends with Kim.

Everyone gets all teary-eyed and Andy asks where Kim is in her recovery. Kim tells him it’s none of his business in a nice way and that it’s anonymous for a reason. Kim says she’s hard to love and Kyle says that’s not true, even when she didn’t like what Kim was doing, she loved her. Eileen wakes up and says she’s always wanted the best for Kim. Not to be left out, LisaR says her too.

Kim says her feelings were hurt and she felt like LisaR was attacking her. Andy stirs the pot some more by reminding LisaR of some of the things she said. LisaR says she was angry and she’s sorry about some of the words she used. Yolanda tells her she should be held accountable. LisaR says for what? She lost her sister to addiction and she understands it well. Yolanda asks why she wasn’t more sensitive then and LisaR says she’s just human.

Eileen brings up the party at her house a million years ago when Kim acted like a jerk. She says it’s not like they were looking for a problem. Kim says Eileen is always jumping in whenever there’s an issue with LisaR. Kim says this is reality, not a soap, and Eileen tells her not to be rude.

Andy says moving on, but stays on the topic, reminding Kyle of her being uncomfortable with what LisaR had to say about Kim. They talk about how Kathryn tried to defend Kim and shared her own tragedy. Kim thanks her and thanks Erika as well.

Andy brings up the shoplifting, but Kim says she can’t discuss a pending court case. He asks if that was her low point and she says when she took the first drink was her low point. The “enraged” word comes back to haunt LisaR, but she’s like, let’s move on. Andy tells her she’d said a lot of strong things throughout the season that she wants to sweep under the rug.

Andy asks if Kyle and Kim are still sweeping. Kyle says they’re starting fresh. LVP says sometimes it’s best not to rehash things. Yolanda says Kim does deserve to be loved and they all cheer her along on her journey. (Ugh! Another one of those buzzwords.) Applause from everyone. Exit Kim.

Andy asks if Kathryn ever gets mistaken for Aviva from the NYC Wives. None of us ever noticed it before, but she does look like Aviva. He asks how her hearing device is going and she’s thrilled with it.

I guess she’s not that exciting because Andy moves along to all the parties during the season. We flash back to all the fabulousness. Various details about the parties are discussed. Andy asks Kyle to define barbecue, which she says is basically having a dinner party outside. All of a sudden they’re discussing having a real barbecue. They talk about who looked most like a hooker at the Moulin Rouge party and Erika says she’s out since she looks like a hooker all the time. Ha-ha! I do like how self-depreciating she is.

Here we go. The time when LVP asked Eileen too many questions and didn’t know how to apologize. After seeing the flashbacks, Eileen says she feels vindicated. She says she tried to get resolution in a nice way and LVP was dismissive. She says LVP was condescending, she felt manipulated and doesn’t trust her. LVP doesn’t understand why Eileen didn’t bring it up at the time instead of waiting. Eileen says LVP wasn’t sincere in her apology. LVP says she honestly didn’t realize that Eileen was so hurt. Eileen says it’s like they’re on two different planets and she finds LVP manipulative.

Eileen had shared about being in an abusive relationship and she says she found LVP’s blog offensive, as LVP talked about having had an abusive boyfriend and seeing no purpose in reliving it. Andy asks LVP about the past relationship which happened pre-Ken when she was 19. Lisa tears up and says he hurt her once, but then doesn’t want to continue.

Next time, Kathryn and Erika call each other desperate, more name calling happens, apologies are made, and they use that word again.

April 25, 2016 — GH, a Flamingo Party & Dallas Wives

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

At the hospital, Monica catches Franco walking by with a box and asks him what’s in it. He suggests organs, explosives, or some other contraband.

Nina finds Julian “loitering” in her office.

Alexis tells Carrrlos the prosecution’s case is dubious, providing Sabrrrina doesn’t suddenly show up in Port Charles.

Michael asks Sabrrrina’s tia who the baby toy belongs to.

Nina tells Julian he can’t just barge into her office any time he wants. He says he wouldn’t if she kept him in the loop and wasn’t ignoring his emails, texts and calls. She tells him she’s not sacrificing what she wants for someone else’s self-centered needs. Julian is like, yeah, okay, I just wanted the financial reports. Nina tells him she’ll get them and starts to cry.

Franco says he doesn’t answer to Monica and she’s an unfeeling harpy. He goes on and on telling her to check with the real chief-of-staff who thinks he’s delightful. They trade insults about past mistakes. Franco tells her that her patients are probably glad they’re anesthetized because she has a lousy bedside manner. Monica has to take a call and Franco takes Daisy out of the box he’s carrying.

NuJake tells Jason he wants to do art with Franco. Jason steps away and Franco comes by with Daisy. Franco tells Jake that Daisy needs a home and he gives the dog to him. Jason is not thrilled.

Sabrrrina’s tia says she doesn’t know where Sabrrrina is. She says the toy belongs to a friend’s baby. Michael suggest she call her friend now.

Alexis asks if there’s any chance Sabrrrina will return to Port Charles. Carrrlos says no and Alexis asks if she’s dead. Carrrlos says of course not. Alexis says there’s a tape with Sabrrrina talking about Carrrlos killing Duke, but she can get it thrown out if there’s no chance of her coming back. Alexis says she cited a pre-trial motion to dismiss due to lack of evidence. Carrrlos says there’s still one major problem — Sonny.

Sonny asks Ric if Alexis’s motion will be granted. Ric says the chances are pretty good. He says if the case is dismissed without prejudice, if Sabrrrina eventually shows up, they can retry Carrrlos. Sonny says that Carrrlos is unlikely to sit around and wait for that, and Ric asks if Sonny is going to kill Carrrlos.

Julian gives Nina a hanky. She blows her nose and hands it back, but he says she can keep it. She tells him her tears have nothing to do with Crimson and she’ll get him the financials. He says just give them to him by the end of the day. He tells her it’s obvious that something is upsetting her and asks if she wants to talk. She says no, then changes her mind.

Jason asks what’s this and Jake says a puppy. Franco says he’s surprised Jason missed that with the wagging tail and floppy ears. Jake begs to keep Daisy, but Jason says Sam doesn’t have time to take care of her. Jake asks if Jason would help, but he says he can’t and they’ll talk about getting a dog when he’s older. Jake says but he wants this one. They have the same I-want-a-dog-and-I-promise-to-take-care-of-it conversation that a million parents have with their kids every day and Jake tells Jason he hates him.

Carrrlos says Sonny wants him dead. Alexis says that must be stressful. Carrrlos says he and Sabrrrina were living a peaceful life until Sonny and Anna came along. He’s concerned it will happen again unless he can disappear permanently. He wants a big payoff from Julian or he’ll take the deal from the DA. He says plus, if he turns in Julian, Sonny might back off. Alexis says the judge still has to rule and Carrrlos says to tell Julian to open up his checkbook.

Ric says that Sonny needs to think about using Ric’s skills as an ally. He’s annoyed that Sonny uses Diane a lot of the time. Sonny says there’s no question about Ric’s loyalty, but as far as Carrrlos is concerned, he’s considering his options.

Sabrrrina’s tia’s friend comes by and she returns the toy. Michael asks again if she’s sure she hasn’t heard from Sabrrrina, like she might not remember.

Ric says Sonny reasonably hoped that Carrrlos would flip on Julian, but it didn’t work out that way. He can’t believe Sonny is okay with that. Sonny repeats that he’s considering his options and can’t tell Ric about a plan he doesn’t have yet. He says he doesn’t like freezing Ric out, but he’s not making the same mistake he did with Anna and if he has to take action, he’ll do it on his own. Ric changes his mind and decides the less he knows, the better.

Molly asks Alexis why she’s defending Carrrlos. Alexis says shell be happy to have an adult conversation about it. Molly says Alexis has compromised her ethics, and Alexis tells her she deserves respect and her clients are her business. She says every defendant has the right to counsel, but Molly says she took the case on her own, it wasn’t like she was given the case by the court. She asks how Alexis lives with herself.

Monica comes by and Jake tells her about the puppy. Monica asks Franco in what universe it’s acceptable to give another man’s child a dog? She tells Jake that the groundskeeper is looking for a dog and Jake can come visit her when he wants. She tells Franco they’re not finished. Franco tells Jason he must be glad he doesn’t remember much about Monica.

Michael asks Sabrrrina’s tia to call if she hears from Sabrrrina. She says she and Sabrrrina are very close, and if she hasn’t contacted her yet, maybe she’s not in Puerto Rico.

Sonny is on the phone saying they need to act fast on a contract.

Alexis says things aren’t black and white, and the world doesn’t always work that way. Molly says there’s no grey area when it comes to Carrrlos and that he’s pure evil. Alexis says Molly is throwing that term around like she knows what she’s talking about. She brings out the dagger and tells her that what Helena did was pure evil. She says Carrrlos did a lot of bad things, but there’s no comparison. Molly says isn’t that all the more reason she shouldn’t be helping another murderer, and that what Helena is to her, Carrrlos might be to someone else. Molly says she knows it has something to do with Julian.

Julian says it could have been worse, Franco could have brought Nina a lizard or something else weird. He says he loves his kids, and knows how lucky he is to have them, and he’s sorry Nina isn’t going to get that chance. Nina says it’s hard on her, but Franco is just relieved. Julian says he doesn’t like Franco, but in being objective, Franco clearly cares about her. Nina says she knows that, but she’s not sure they know one another.

Jason says he’s going to find another therapist for Jake. He says Franco didn’t help by giving him a dog. Franco says Jason pays lip service to love and loyalty, but he’s all about Sam and doesn’t see that Jake is lonely.

Michael is discouraged. Felix says they came there because Carrrlos led them that way, but he’s a known liar. He says Sabrrrina could be a block away or a million miles away, there’s no way to be sure.

Franco tells Jason he doesn’t even know him. Jason says Franco is a stalker and kidnapper. Franco asks who Jason is to judge him and asks if because he got paid to kill people, that made it okay. He says all Jason has ever been is a killer and that’s all he’ll ever be.

Nina says maybe nobody knows the real anyone. Everyone has secrets and tells lies. Julian says he just remembered he has a meeting to prepare for and good luck. Nina asks if she hit a nerve. Julian says he has other things to deal with and Nina asks if it’s Carrrlos. He says their business concluded a long time ago. Nina says he’s just like her, he worked and changed, but people have long memories. Julian says everything that’s going on with Carrrlos, including Duke’s murder, has nothing to do with him. She wonders what’s wrong if that’s not it. Julian says he can handle his own problems and leaves.

Alexis tells Molly to leave Julian out of it. Molly says that’s impossible if she’s going to be honest. She says the only way Alexis would be defending Carrrlos is if Julian pressured her. Molly says Alexis will be the reason Carrrlos gets away with murder. Alexis asks if Molly hates her. Molly says she could never do that, but she has the feeling that right now, Alexis hates herself.

Michael says they’re going back to Port Charles. He needs to see Carrrlos. Meanwhile, Sabrrrina’s tia gets the toy back and puts it into a crib in another room. A crib containing the world’s quietest baby.

Alexis ponders the dagger along with what Molly said to her. Julian comes in.

A guy comes into the station and says he has new evidence in the Carrrlos case. Sonny tells Max good work as always.

Franco tells Jason he throws everyone away because he doesn’t care about love. He only cares about killing people and it’s the only thing that makes him feel alive. Jason says something about how he should have finished the job with Franco, and Franco says interesting how he remembers that.

Tomorrow, Nina literally runs into Dillon, Alexis tells Julian they’re going to lose everything, and Franco says it’s time to be the Franco he was meant to be.

Just a note: WTF the Jake recast? It’s not like they aged him and James Nigbor was a fine little actor. At first, I thought it was a Danny recast until he said something about doing art with Franco. My first impression: Old Jake stood out from the crowd; NuJake will just blend in.

Southern Charm

Or as I like to call it, a bunch of five-year-olds in grown up bodies.

So what good is Thomas anyway, if he can’t score you an invite to Patricia’s Flamingo Party?

Thomas drops by JD’s place. Thomas is stressing because Kathryn didn’t let him see Kensie. In retaliation, he decided not to co-sign her lease and now Kathryn is in the hospital. Nice going, T-Rav. It dawns on him that maybe he shouldn’t be upsetting her.

JD wonders if Thomas is being manipulated because all women are alike and his wife never got that upset when she was pregnant. Thomas puts all the blame on Jennifer because it couldn’t possibly be him. Thomas says Jennifer has been stirring the pot, sending all his social media stuff to Kathryn and causing her grief.

Shep calls Cameran who announces she has the runs. Thanks for sharing. Shep tells her that Craig is yet again going to apply to take the bar exam, but he’ll believe it when he sees it.

Shep visits Craig’s office. Craig is thinking of getting into the bourbon business since he’s had a lot of experience drinking it. Craig shows him the paperwork for the bar exam. He wonders if he should use Velcro to attach his picture. I stare blankly at the TV. Craig calls the post office “the mailing center” and Shep asks if he’s from Canada.

Cameran meets wannabe Danni and some other hanger on for lunch. They talk about biological clocks and Cameran says she tries every month — not to get pregnant. She says from the outside she seems equipped to handle a child, but she doesn’t feel ready. She’s thinking of going to therapy to make sure her decision to wait isn’t based on fear or anxiety. Let’s analyze everything to death since it couldn’t possibly be that she just doesn’t want kids.

It’s Flamingo Party time! I love pink flamingos! Patricia is writing a party book, so she’s having the event photographed. She says one of her signature things is a cocktail tower and explains that it’s all about the math. She says they’re going to have 144 baby flamingo floaties in the pool (see last week’s ordering mistake) and perhaps people will think Thomas was there. Not unless he’s doing it with flamingos now. He’s not, is he?

Landon and Craig are discussing their outfits for the party. Jennifer calls Craig while they’re in the car. She tells Craig about Kathryn’s trip to the hospital and says the baby might come early. Craig feels badly because Kathryn already has it hard enough. Landon thinks Kathryn just wants attention. Maybe so, but what Jennifer is describing is no joke. I’ve started to not like Landon this season. She seems like an easily distracted dim bulb who only cares about herself. Craig says Thomas should have gone to the hospital. Landon says he should have, but Kathryn treats everyone like sh*t unless she needs something, so she has no friends. She says she’s not going to be manipulated by a psychopath. Exaggerate much?

Kathryn is mighty pissed about Thomas backing out on signing the lease and is feeling defeated. She says all she and Kensie need is a stable place to live and a peaceful environment. Thomas calls while she’s in the car. He tells her he got the lease in place for her and asks if she’ll need help with the move. In her interview, she says she’s excited, but disturbed at what it took for Thomas to help out.

Flamingos for everyone! Everything that can be pink, is pink. Patricia feels you should always be as glamorous as possible. Cameran must think so too, since she’s going all out and is even sporting a flamingo hat.

Thomas introduces Landon to his friend, Josh. He thinks he’s making a love match, but I predict rejection from Landon. Josh has a peach-fuzz mustache and I’m guessing that will clinch the no.

The party is revving up with everything pinkly decorated, and everyone dressed in pink, having pink cocktails and pink food. Lisa Vanderpump would appreciate the pinkness. Whitney introduces a Miss USA to Thomas, who immediately puts his foot in his mouth by asking if that isn’t the contest where you don’t need any talent. Whitney says he’s like the horny drunk uncle who’s trying to impress someone and I’d say that’s an accurate description. He’s the relative you blow a kiss to from a distance.

Cameran arrives fashionably late. She says she doesn’t know how Patricia does it, and then corrects herself, saying that actually she does, because Patricia has other people do it. Shep decides to get in the pool and swim amongst the flamingos.

Craig asks Thomas about Kathryn’s health. He says she’s on bed-rest and that he went immediately to the hospital to see her. Craig says funny, since Jennifer said he never showed up there. Thomas says Jennifer is evil and tries to create problems with him and Kathryn. Craig says that Thomas thought Jennifer was going to be his girl on the side and it didn’t work out the way he’d planned.

Commercial break with important information. Below Deck: Mediterranean begins Tuesday, May 3.

Landon wonders if she and Shep could ever make a relationship work, but doesn’t think he’s at that place yet. Patricia has also hired a fortune teller. Shep, Landon, Craig and Cameran go to check it out. Patricia’s friend, Cooper,takes her aside and asks if he’s being given the cold shoulder because he’s friends with Kathryn. Patricia lies through her teeth, saying she just had guests who needed her attention. In his interview, Cooper says Kathryn reminds Patricia of herself when she was young and vivacious. Patricia says Cooper is the poor man’s Truman Capote and calls his friendship with Kathryn “low rent.”

Cameran falls over a hedge and loses her flamingo hat. Patricia finds this amusing. So do I.

Jennifer shows up. Thomas is annoyed since Kathryn was excluded from the party. Jennifer is wearing a headband with springy flamingos on it. Thomas wants to push her into the pool, but JD says that would be another assault charge. Another assault charge.

Jennifer talks to JD and his wife while Thomas looks on disapprovingly. They discuss the polo match. Jennifer asks what happened after they left and Elizabeth feels that it was a “scene.” Thomas gripes to Landon about Jennifer interfering in his business. Landon thinks he should talk to her and he takes Jennifer aside.

Thomas tells her about how Craig told him she said he didn’t come to the hospital. He says he was there for two hours and Jennifer says a neighbor visits for that long. He says Kathryn seemed argumentative, and he didn’t want to stress her. He tells Jennifer that she’s causing some of Kathryn’s stress, but in her interview, Jennifer says Thomas needs to look in the mirror. She tells him that Craig misunderstood what she said, and he takes that as she’s calling them both liars. Thomas gets aggressive and Jennifer says she’s the only friend Kathryn trusts and it’s too bad Thomas isn’t another one. Thomas says there’s a common denominator and Jennifer says yeah, it’s him. Ha-ha!

Jennifer says Thomas hurt Kathryn and he’s making a scene at a nice party. He starts getting louder and finally walks away. Jennifer goes to where she thinks is a private spot and calls Kathryn, while Thomas whines to the others about Jennifer. Jennifer relays what Thomas said to Kathryn. Thomas says something to Patricia who announces there’s a spy in their midst when she goes past Jennifer. Jennifer has enough and decides to leave. Thomas is all, don’t mess with my family, like he really cares.

Next time, Landon throws Shep a birthday party, Craig thinks there’s more to Whitney and Kathryn’s relationship, and Danni suggests Kathryn extend an olive branch.

The Real Housewives of Dallas

I do sometimes wonder what it would be like to live in a mansion, but then I think about how far it would be to the bathroom.

Brandi’s husband is headed off on a business trip. She misses the old days when they had date night. He’s trying to be a multi-millionaire. Leave him alone. Keep working, Bryan!

Leeanne tells her dogs she loves them, then she eats them. Not really, but could happen. Her boyfriend has a daughter from his second marriage and they’re wrapping some birthday gifts for her.

Brandi and Stephanie go out for drinks. It’s a pseudo date night. They decide to call Cary to come out and play. She’s having cocktails elsewhere, but says she’ll swing by.

Leeanne and Rich are out to dinner with his daughter, Elise, and they bug her about her boyfriend. Leeanne says kids were never on her radar, but being a family with Rich and his daughter is nirvana. I don’t know what it is about this woman, but she strikes me as desperate and over-eager.

By the time Cary arrives, Brandi and Stephanie are already wasted. Cary tells them that Mark is her third husband. The first one was when she was quite young and the second one disappeared after a couple of months. If she was Leeanne, I’d be suspicious. Brandi and Stephanie want to go to a strip club. Cary thinks nothing good will come of this, but she’s in.

Leeanne was raised by her grandparents because her mother was young when she had her. She says they were her stability until she met Rich. She says she loves where she is, but wants to get married in the future. Good luck with that. I don’t think Rich is very marriage minded. And why should he be? He’s been there and done that and already knows Leeanne.

The girls arrive at the strip club. No surprise, it’s cowboy strippers. The DJ asks for a volunteer and Brandi can’t get on stage fast enough. She starts dancing for the stripper. Wait a second. Isn’t that backward? The DJ suggest they give her a job.

Tiffany visits Leeanne. Tiffany says Leeanne takes day drinking to an art form, which might explain a lot. They discuss Brandi’s dog poopy hat. Tiffany thinks it was funny, but Leeanne was offended. She says she asked Stephanie and Cary to brunch to try and explain that they need to associate with better friends. Tiffany is like, in LA and NYC, no one would give a flying. Leeanne gets way out of line, talking about feeling sorry for Brandi’s daughters. I feel sorry for anyone who has to deal with Leeanne in any way.

Stephanie asks Brandi if she had fun over the weekend. Brandi tears up. She says she doesn’t feel like she did anything wrong, but Bryan is upset about the strip club. Just keep working and shut up, Bryan! Brandi says they’re not in a good place right now, but it will be okay. Stephanie says guys don’t understand because their strip club experience is a different scene.

Aaron is playing guitar and singing. Tiffany makes cocktails. Tiffany says at one time, Aaron had a huge record deal and now he’s in the garage. I might be off the mark here, but I think you can record just about anywhere. Tiffany talks about putting on a charity event combined with him putting on a concert. She says he can get into the music scene and she can get some respect. Aaron suggests she find new friends. She agrees she needs to expand her circle of friends outside of Leeanne. Aaron asks if Leeanne gets along with anyone except her. I can’t wait for Leeanne to get her inevitable comeuppance, but it’s a shame how I thought she would be so much more down-to-earth having grown up in the carny circuit.

Tiffany has asked Cary to be in an episode of her fashion blog. We collectively lust after Cary’s closet. She says Mark helped pick out a lot of her clothes and he swears he’s not gay. Aaron does the filming while Tiffany, Cary and Mark discuss various pieces of clothing. Mark is a natural in front of the camera.

Brandi’s mother is visiting. Her mother asks if Brandi got a package from her grandfather. Brandi has never had a relationship with him, but her mother says he wants to be a part of everyone’s lives. Her mother says the estrangement had nothing to do with her getting pregnant, it was about people taking sides in her parents’ divorce. Brandi had thought her grandfather disowned the family because of her mother’s pregnancy, but really her mother disowned him by taking her mother’s side in the divorce. She says he wants to meet the family.

Cary talks to Mark about doing some plastic surgery on her. The couples chat about how they met and got married. Aaron says it wasn’t something he had planned on. Tiffany says she’s glad she met them. Mark says they should come back and raid his closet because it’s actually better than Cary’s.

Leeanne and Tiffany get together to donate some clothes to charity. Tiffany tells her about the filming with Cary and says she thinks Cary has a great dry sense of humor. Tiffany wants to foster a friendship with her and Stephanie. Leeanne gets all dramatic and says she’ll have to be in the presence of Brandi then. And where does it end? Pretty soon they’ll be burping the alphabet. Leeanne claims to hate drama, but Tiffany echos my sentiments and says that’s like Charlie Sheen saying he hates hookers.

Bryan is back in town. Brandi says they’re barely speaking. He thinks she might hurt his business reputation by going to a strip club. I don’t think it was the going so much as the getting up on stage. Brandi tells him about her grandfather and says she wants to invite him over. She doesn’t think Bryan understands the importance of it. She says she feels like she hardly knows Bryan these days.

It’s time for the brunch with Leeanne, Cary and Stephanie. Stephanie feels like Leeanne dominates the conversation with her loudness, but Cary says she can be louder and she intends to be heard. Leeanne wants to explain the process of earning your “wings” in the charity circuit like she’s the charity Yoda. She brings up Mad Hatter’s and shows them an online blog (written by one of her friends) featuring Brandi’s hat. She then brings out Exhibit A, a plastic turd. Cary says she’s not concerned with what people think, just the charity. Leeanne says it wasn’t appropriate and if you bow at her, she bows back. Then she dares them to bow at her. Bow is pronounced like the bow in bow and arrow. Is this some kind of Texan term? Neither one of these girls is asking her what on earth she’s talking about, so I assume so. I’d like to whack Leeanne in the head with a bow. (Note: Later, during Watch What Happens Live, Cary said she wasn’t really familiar with the term, but it meant something like when guys bump chests.)

Cary says maybe a dildo on a hat would be inappropriate, but she doesn’t think the poopy was any big deal. Leeanne says the meeting isn’t about the hat, but about how their reputations are based on who they’re seen with. Leeanne acts like people have been asking questions about Stephanie hanging around with Brandi, when clearly she was the one who was doing the talking about her at the event. Cary says no one has told Leeanne that carny etiquette and Dallas etiquette aren’t the same thing. Leeanne says she cares about her ability to raise future funds. And since it’s not about the hat, she goes back to the hat topic. She says respect is a huge thing for her and Cary tells her she might as well slow her roll because you need to be born into Dallas society and that won’t be happening for Leeanne. Leeanne is annoyed that they’re not lapping at her font of wisdom and after getting borderline hysterical, tells them to discuss amongst themselves and leaves. Both Cary and Stephanie say they’re done. I might add that Cary has a real job as a nurse and had just gotten off of five hours of surgery, after which she had to deal with this nonsense.

Next time, Stephanie and Brandi take a road trip, Brandi’s grandfather visits, Leeanne and Brandi go at it with Leeanne wagging her finger all over the place.

April 20, 2016 — GH, Lotsa Little & NYC Wives Plus John

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Carrrlos picks on Anna saying she’s just another perp. She says she’s sure he’s happy, but he says he didn’t turn her in; he never said a word about her. Anna calls him soulless and he says his soul belongs to Sabrrrina and his baby.

Felix and Michael talk. Michael is hoping Sabrrrina comes out of hiding and Felix says if he hears anything he’ll call Michael. Griff says sorry to eavesdrop, but he heard Felix talking about Carrrlos. Felix asks why he would be interested and Griff says he’s Duke’s son.

Michael drops by Dante’s place. Dante is obviously getting ready for a date night with Lulu, lighting candles and opening wine. He tells Michael it’s part of their couples therapy. At the MetroCourt, Lulu tells Laura she’s got a sitter for Rocco because she and Dante are doing a couples’ exercise. Laura says she’s looking pretty good for just doing therapy.

Lulu tells Laura it’s been a while since she and Dante consciously coupled. Laura thinks tonight is a good opportunity, but Lulu says the therapist said that’s a no for now, and she doesn’t want to jinx things. Laura tells Lulu she’s meeting with the cryptographer again and tells her that it’s Doc, and his hobby is breaking codes.

Michael tells Dante about his conversation with Felix and wonders if there’s any news about Sabrrrina on Dante’s end. Dante tells him they’re building a case against Carrrlos, but the rest is up to the Feds. He tells Michael not to be stupid looking for Sabrrrina.

Felix explains to Griff who Sabrrrina is to him and to Carrrlos. Griff is surprised to find that Carrrlos is a father.

Anna says that Carrrlos understands what it’s like to be a parent. She says part of it is being responsible for your actions, which is why they’re both there. She tells him how he didn’t just shatter her life, but Emma’s and Robin’s, and she has no sympathy for him whatsoever. She says now that he’s known the joy of being a parent, she hopes he suffers more being separated from his child.

Jason comes in to tell Sam good-night. She says he doesn’t have to leave. Looks like he’s staying.

Griff says he thought being on staff would be a good opportunity to meet people who knew his father, but he didn’t anticipate meeting people who knew Carrrlos. Michael comes by and tells them about Anna being arrested.

Carrrlos says he has family too, and did she think of that before she shot him? Anna says it was a set-up. He says she could have trusted the system but didn’t. She says Duke was unarmed. Carrrlos tells her to stop kidding herself and that Duke was no angel. Anna says he was getting out of the business and Carrrlos stole their second chance at happiness. She says he stole it from Duke’s son too, and he’ll never know his father because of Carrrlos.

Laura asks what happened to the envelope that Helena left to Lulu. Lulu says she shoved it somewhere and hopes she forgets about it. Funny. I could have sworn she left it at Windemere. Lulu says Helena said she’d need it when her life is empty and it’s hardly that. She leaves and Laura has a Helena memory. Doc comes in and asks her if she’s all right.

Michael wonders why Anna confessed since Carrrlos isn’t dead. Felix says maybe her conscious bothered her. Michael says Carrrlos says Sabrrrina and the baby are safe, but his word is meaningless.

Griff comes running into the jail, since everyone can just come and go with no security, and asks what he can do for Anna. He doesn’t believe she shot anyone, but she says yep, she did.

Lulu arrives at Dante’s and asks if Maxie helped him with the atmosphere. He says no, he wanted things perfect for her. She makes it clear she wants to stick to the plan and not risk progress by moving too fast. Dante wants her to see something first. He takes her hand.

Laura says she’s fine, and she and Doc sit down. She says she was just remembering how horrible Helena was and how relentless. She says she half-expects Helena to come and sit down at the table. Doc says, isn’t she already? How psychiatrist of him.

Jason and Sam are making out and Jason has a memory flash. He says they were on the bed kissing. Sam says it was the last night they were there together before he got shot. She says she’s memorized every detail of their time together and never thought they’d be there together again. She says it’s a miracle and he asks why she isn’t smiling then. She says she knows how fragile life is and she couldn’t stand to lose him again.

Dante shows Lulu a new bed, since the old one didn’t make Lulu too happy the last time she was there. They work on the exercise — rebuilding intimacy. They both sit on the bed. They’re supposed to stare into each other’s eyes for four minutes with no talking or touching.

Michael says Sabrrrina is in a lose-lose situation and he has to find a way to fix it. He’s going to have to go to Puerto Rico.

Anna explains what happened the night she shot Carrrlos. I guess Griff doesn’t notice Carrrlos in the next cell. Griff is finding Anna’s story hard to take because he doesn’t want to believe she would shoot someone in cold blood. She says she violated her principles and ran from it. She says she wanted to face the consequences of what she did. Griff says he’s having a hard time wrapping his head around it and Carrrlos says believe it, he was there. Anna tells Griff that’s Carrrlos.

Doc tells Laura he decoded two words — heartbreak hotel. He asks if that means anything.

Sam apologizes for being afraid and says she never used to be that way. She says everything changed when Jason got shot. She had lost the man she planned on spending the rest of her life with. Jason says he’s not planning on going anywhere, so they’re good. They kiss.

Griff says in the name of some meaningless mob war, Carrrlos killed his father in cold blood. Anna tells Griff he didn’t stop there, and this is the man he wants them to forgive. Carrrlos says he was trying to feed his child and it’s more complicated than Anna spins it. Griff asks if Carrrlos is sorry.

Dante keeps touching Lulu’s leg and talking. They start to kiss. So much for the exercise. The timer goes off unnoticed.

Jason and Sam have pillow talk. She says she used to dread the mornings because for a second when she woke up, she would forget she was a widow. Jason says now they can wake up next to each other every morning.

Laura wonders if Helena was an Elvis fan. Doc asks if there’s any significance at all. Laura says everyone has been lonely in a hotel. Doc says he has, and tells her about when Lucy was revealed kissing Scotty at the Nurses Ball. He says it’s ironic the book belonged to him. Laura talks about when her marriage to Scotty ended. She wonders what anything has to do with Helena.

Sam wakes up hearing noises. She envisions Helena, who asks if she can’t sleep.

Michael says he can at least talk to Sabrrrina’s father. Felix says he’s coming along.

Carrrlos says to be sorry, he’d have to admit guilt, and even if he was, what difference would it make? Griff says he could start to forgive him. Carrrlos says he doesn’t need Griff’s forgiveness. Griff tells Anna that if they don’t find a way to forgive, they’ll never be free and Carrrlos will have taken their souls the same way he took Duke. Anna tells Carrrlos that Griff is sweet but doesn’t speak for her. she’ll never make peace with him.

Lulu and Dante bask in the afterglow. She wonders what to tell the therapist since they failed the exercise. Dante says it seemed pretty intimate to him. He says he didn’t remember it being so good. Lulu says she was so angry for so long, she can’t believe she was so willing to let everything go. She says she’s happy. Dante thinks they should do more exercises.

Doc asks what Helena said on the video. Laura tells him she said that Laura had taken from her what she loved the most. Laura isn’t sure if she meant Mikos or Stavros. She said she was being the better person and giving Laura the key to what she loved and lost. Doc said if Helena is telling the truth, something Laura loved and lost in a place that’s like a heartbreak hotel. What a genius! Laura thinks they’re wasting time. Doc says he just needs to spend more time with it and wonders if the hotel is literal or symbolic. They toast.

Helena tells Sam she didn’t pay attention to her words and she should have. Helena tells her to remember the curse, and that Sam and her loved ones will never know happiness in this life or any other. Sam calls out to Jason who was checking on Danny. She says she had a nightmare, but he tells her everything is fine.

Tomorrow, Carly tells Sonny to make a wish, Olivia sees Ned, and Paul tells Anna she’s not getting out on bail.

Little Women: LA

Matt creates atmosphere in the honeymoon hotel room with rose petals. I honestly don’t understand that rose petal thing. They stick to you and die quickly. On second thought, maybe it is appropriate here. Briana talks about Christy showing up at the wedding. She says she was nervous at first, but was glad Matt called her. That ought to be good for extra honeymoon nookie. Briana is hoping with time, the others come around and accept their relationship.

I’m starving and my soup is too hot. This has nothing to do with the show. I’m having dinner.

Christy says she has big news for Todd. She brings out a cupcake and tells Todd it’s like a fortune cookie. There’s a plastic baby inside. They’ve been matched at an adoption agency. They have to hurry with the paperwork as there are other couples in line, but they’re the best fit. The baby is from Bulgaria.

Tonya and Terra go baby shopping with Elena. She’s five months along and has nothing. They want to throw her a baby shower. Elena wants all the girls to be there. She tells them about Briana’s wedding, saying there weren’t that many people, but it was beautiful. She tells them about Christy showing up and Tonya asks if she was in a wheelchair. Ha-ha! Terra doesn’t really want to see her after she made such a big public deal about getting “injured” when Terra threw ice tea at her. Elena claims Christy wants to apologize.

Briana and Christy go out for ice cream. Now I want ice cream because my soup is still too hot. They talk about the baby shower and Christy wonders why there isn’t one for Briana. Now, why would anyone expect Terra and/or Tonya to do that when they weren’t even invited to the wedding? And shouldn’t Christy be the one to throw it? Christy talks about her injury. She says she’s willing to drop the charges, but wants a public apology from Terra. Good luck getting that.

Commercial break. Who thinks the La-Z-Boy commercial where Brook Shields is married to “Stavros” is a nod to General Hospital? Raise your hands. Yep. Thought so.

Elena is at the doctor with Preston and Terra tagging along. They’re going to find out what the sex of the baby is and whether Elena will be able to deliver naturally. The doctor says women with twins are higher risk whether a little person or not. The doctor isn’t opposed to Elena trying natural birth, but she suggests a C-section. Elena says she’s pretty sure little people deliver naturally in Russia all the time.

We find out that Elena is having two boys or “double trouble,” as the doctor calls them.

It’s baby shower time! Only Christy hasn’t RSVP’d. Terra says she’s going to be cool with Briana because she’s pregnant. Briana tells Terra that Christy wants a public apology and adds that on the way there she got a call from a detective. Terra says all the more reason for her not to say anything. As if on cue, here comes Christy.

Terra, whose lipstick matches her purple scarf, says she lost her appetite. Terra and Tonya toast to the babies. Elena and Preston reveal the gender with silly string. Terra says Penny will have two boyfriends to pick from.

Terra talks to Briana and Jasmine and says she knows how Matt feels a little bit now, with all the lies going on. She says whenever anyone does a background check on her, for a job or anything else, it’s going to come up in the search.

Jasmine and Tonya approach Christy. Jasmine says they were both in the wrong. Tonya tells her that even if Christy drops the charges, it’s a matter of public record now. Terra says she has nothing to say and walks away. Tonya tells her to just let Christy talk, but Terra says that the police report will always be on her record.

Christy tells Elena that what Terra did was aggravated assault. Terra leaves, and everyone else starts to trickle out. Christy feels responsible for putting a damper on the party.

Matt insists he and Briana are having a boy. Like Elena, Briana isn’t getting an amnio test because it’s risky. Yep, it’s a boy. Briana already has a girl, so she’s pretty excited.

Three weeks later. Terra talks with Tonya and Jasmine. Matt is sending d*ck pics again. A few women have sent cell phone conversations to Terra. She says he was doing it the whole time they were in Mexico. Jasmine feels sick, since she’s been supporting him. Apparently, Matt also had a conversation with Joe where he said he’d never kill or hurt Briana, but he sexts with other women. That’s somewhat distressing.

Tonya says now Jasmine sees what they’ve seen all along. Jasmine asks if they can put the issues with Christy aside and get together to discuss it. They agree. This is sad.

Terra discusses the intervention with Joe. He wonders why they’re wasting their time. Terra also found out Matt has a Tinder account and wonders if he’s physically cheating on Briana too. She tells Joe about Matt’s previous relationship where there were abuse charges. She discovered he made a plea bargain when he’s been saying the charges were dropped. Terra says she wouldn’t be a good friend if she didn’t make a try. Terra wants to let Briana stay at their house, but Joe says no because of Penny. He says they have their own problems and he doesn’t want a dangerous situation around Penny. Terra walks out.

The girls gather at Jasmine’s place. Briana has been staying away from the group since she found out that Matt has been sending inappropriate texts again. She found out on Valentine’s Day, no less. She wanted to kick him out, but she says they’re married and she felt that she couldn’t do that. Jasmine asks if Briana considers it cheating and she says yes. Terra says he talks poorly about Briana in the texts as well. She says she’s gotten messages from five different women.

Briana says she’s torn because she knows people have issues and make mistakes. She says her mind can’t grasp what’s happening and she can’t turn to her family. She says it’s for better or worse and you work it out. Elena says it’s beyond a second chance now. Tonya says Briana is making excuses and the relationship is toxic for both her and the children. She tells Briana she got married under false pretenses since Matt’s actions don’t show he loves her.

Briana feels confused. Elena says he’s just a man in her life, not her life. Elena thinks she’s scared that she won’t find someone else, and she needs to learn how to love herself. Christy thinks Matt has an addiction problem. Elena thinks that’s just an excuse, but Christy says he needs to go to rehab. Briana makes more excuses and Tonya brings up that he’s been doing it for a while and he was doing it in Mexico. Briana feels violated and embarrassed. She wants to hate Matt and feels sorry for him at the same time. She tells the girls she’s literally lost. They just had their wedding and were celebrating her pregnancy. She says no one sees what she sees.

Jasmine says she’s been supportive of Matt, but she doesn’t think he cares about Briana. if Briana stays with him, she’ll hurt forever, but if she leaves, it will just hurt for a while. Jasmine is very astute tonight. She tells Briana that her home is open to her, her daughter and the baby. In her individual interview, Jasmine says she’s scared for Briana and wants nothing to do with Matt. Terra says despite the past, Briana has family in all of them and she should never feel trapped.

Briana thanks them, but says she wants to take time to make a decision. She has to talk to Matt, so she’s going to leave and deal with that. Terra gives her copies of some of the texts.

Briana says whatever she decides, it will be in the best interest of her children.

This is the finale. Briana is still with Matt and still can’t decide.

Terra’s Little Family

Terra agrees to talk to Olivia. She tells Olivia she doesn’t want her to leave, but they need to communicate better. She says Penny is her first child and can they agree to twice a day phone calls. Olivia says that’s fine.

Traci has had her baby boy. Terra visits with Joe and Penny. Traci’s baby, Jacob, is average sized. Joe watches football with Traci’s husband while the ladies talk.

Terra tells Joe she’s signed them up for yoga class. Joe is like, no way, and makes a million excuses. He says he’d rather they get a Brazilian wax together. I’ll bet not though.

Penny shoots some hoops with her brother. She tells him about wanting another baby and how Joe isn’t keen on it. She says a lot of things are a challenge for Joe because of his back. She wants Joe to see a doctor. Her brother tells her not to bite off more han she can chew.

Terra forces Joe to go to yoga class. He says parts of his body are being bent that haven’t moved in years. No surprise, he makes jokes throughout the class. Terra notices that Joe has to modify all of the positions. She suggests again that he see the doctor and says he should do it for Penny. Joe had four surgeries when he was younger and doesn’t want another one. Terra says sooner or later, he’s going to have to do something. Joe has to admit his life would be better and agrees to making an appointment.

One week later. Joe tells the doctor he’s felt a degeneration in his back. The doctor asks about holding Penny and Joe admits it’s difficult. They look at Joe’s back X-rays and it’s obvious there’s a serious situation going on. The doctor says it will be a progressive problem. They’d be doing a fushion with rods implanted. The doctor says it’s fixable, but it will be an eight hour surgery. In the meantime, Joe can get steroid shots, but it’s only a temporary solution.

Joe wants to take a year to prepare, but Terra thinks he should just get it over with. She asks the doctor about his recovery time. The doctor says he’ll need help with most things.

On the way home, Terra says she was surprised at how extensive the problem was. Joe says they need to wait on baby number two. Terra says he should have the surgery soon then, but Joe says he thinks it should happen when it’s absolutely necessary. They both think the other one is being selfish. Joe thinks they should have as few children as possible. Terra doesn’t want to abandon her dream of a bigger family. Joe adds that all kinds of things could go wrong. He says at the end of the day it’s his back and he needs support in his decisions. Joe says right now he’s not ready for back surgery and he’s not ready for another baby.

Joe’s band is playing a gig. They’re a cover band called Nirvanish. Terra also has a show coming up, doing some songs from Penny’s Playlist. She asks Joe to play for her and he wants to make a wager. He says more people will show up for his band than for her performance. If he wins, she has to dress up like a French maid, if she wins, he has to bathe the dogs. Joe’s band gets a pretty good crowd.

Terra thinks they should start water safety measures since they have a pool and a baby. Joe thinks it’s crazy and that Penny is too young, but both Terra and I disagree.

Joe and Terra take Penny to swim class. It looks like a lot of fun. First they just pour water on the baby’s head and make whee! sounds, then the babies get dipped underwater. The instructor helps Terra with that part. Joe claims he had a couple of mini strokes while watching.

Terra is trying to expand her brand with the Penny’s Playlist album. Joe’s band will play when she and Tonya are making costume changes. The crowd isn’t exactly huge, but the kids seem like they’re having fun. Terra feels that it was a success and Joe tells her to get out the French maid outfit. Terra actually looks more like a Swiss maid.

Elena and Tonya meet Terra for lunch. She asks Elena how the pregnancy is going. Elena asks her if she’s convinced Joe to have another baby yet. Tonya thinks another baby will be hard along with Joe’s surgery. Elena agrees. She tells them to shut up because she’s pregnant. Elena asks if she’s kidding and Terra runs from the table.

Next week, Terra is scared, Terra tells Joe about the pregnancy, and Joe gets an injection.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Back at the bra party, Dorinda is having a smoke outside. Jules tries to smooth things over and they both go back inside. Jules tells Ramona that Dorinda is upset. The bra ladies just ignore all of it and keep working on fittings. Bethenny suggests Ramona apologize to Dorinda.

Ramona practices her apology and apologizes the same way she walked the runway — like an awkward robot. Dorinda calls it a drive-by shooting. Ramona leaves and Jules says Ramona has no filter. Dorinda no longer wants to go to Ramona’s for the weekend. She calls John.

At first he’s on speaker and obviously knows he’s been talked about. Bethenny wants to know who the rat is. John comes upstairs. I like him less every time I see him. Bethenny and Jules are still there, and Bethenny says he’s a little “lit up.”

John asks if Bethenny knows his friend who owns SkinnyCow and says something about her stealing his name. Bethenny explains that a girl and a cow are different. Dorinda tells him not to start problems with Bethenny and to get out. Bethenny says something about the issue they’ve been hiding and I’m not sure what she’s talking about, except she did say something about doing lines. Dorinda keeps telling John to leave and says they’ve both hurt her.

Dorinda calls John an embarrassment and finally gets him out the door. Bethenny tells Jules she feels vindicated. Dorinda comes back and says it’s unheard of. Bethenny says no it’s not, and tells her she’s in a relationship where she obviously doesn’t know what to do. John pops back in and Jules gets him back out again.

In the hallway, John tells Jules that Bethenny is jealous. She tells him not to give everyone ammo. He says he’ll wait downstairs for Dorinda and to send her up. What’s wrong with this sentence? Bethenny tells Dorinda nothing is a big deal. Dorinda says she doesn’t want to move forward with the other women or John, she just wants to go home and cry. After they’re gone, Bethenny tells Jules that John doesn’t make Dorinda happy like she says.

Carole calls Bethenny and asks what happened when she left, since she passed John on the way out. She says when she left, she thought it couldn’t get any worse, but she was wrong. Bethenny says they’ll talk later and asks if Carole is coming to her party. Carole says she’d rather not be around the Countess, but she’ll ignore it. She asks if it’s a bad time to call Dorinda, since she forgot the bras she bought, but Bethenny says she should wait on that.

The Countess is meeting with a realtor who she was once roommates with. Sonja comes along to look at apartments. Do I really need to say how fabulous the apartment is? And how great the view is? The realtor wants to show her something downtown as well, but Sonja is like, why?

Why? Because it’s even more amazing than the other place.

Bethenny is going over a new Skinny Girl promotion with her assistants. She also has to sign off on one of the many divorce bills. Ramona comes by the office. She reads a bunch of messages from Dorinda who basically blew her off. Ramona thinks she’s taking what she said too hard and thinks she hit a nerve. Bethenny says the reason she’s so defensive is that she knows what they’re saying is true. She tells Ramona about John showing up at the bra party. She says what they’ve been saying showed up. She thinks Dorinda is hooked on the action, but knows that John isn’t good for her.

Ramona asks what Jules said, but Bethenny doesn’t remember. They call her. Bethenny tells her that Ramona is there and asks about her view of the situation with John. In her individual interview, Jules says she felt like she was under seige. Jules somewhat defends them since they’re the ones who introduced her to the group.

Bethenny suggests she, Ramona and Dorinda have dinner. Bethenny wonders if John will honor her dry cleaning gift certificate now and says she’ll go in under the name of SkinnyCow.

John and Dorinda are staying with Jules and Michael in the Hamptons. John says he’d rather sleep in his car than at Ramona’s house. Jules fills Michael in that they’ll be staying with them, even though their house is under construction.

Commercial break. In the new line picture of the NYC Wives, they’re all dressed in black and look like vampires.

Bethenny is getting ready for the dinner with Dorinda and Ramona. She wants Dorinda to admit she needs to reevaluate her relationship, but realistically knows it could go several different ways.

Jules and Michael’s house is massive. She says it’s a never-ending project. They do a quick Shabbat using Hawaiian Punch and breadsticks. I like it.

Dorinda and John (bleh) arrive. Dorinda excuses herself for the dinner. She says she just wants to say her peace, but she and Ramona’s friendship is liked a cracked mirror now. She says Bethenny thinks she’s being helpful, but Ramona has been her friend since the earth cooled. She says if you’re not nice to John, you’re out. Michael asks what she wants and she says not anything really. She says she feels betrayed and humiliated and gets teary-eyed.

Michael and Dorinda have to explain “Et tu, Brute?” to Jules, while John pretends to know what they’re talking about.

Ramona meets Bethenny at the restaurant first. Ramona tells Bethenny that Dorinda isn’t staying at her house. Bethenny thinks Dorinda shouldn’t be mad at her. Ramona says being a true friend means no restrictions of topics. While I usually don’t agree with her, I do this time.

Dorinda has every intention of letting Ramona know she’s a piece of doo-doo. She arrives at the restaurant and calls it round two. Bethenny asks if she and Ramona are okay. Dorinda says she doesn’t understand how Ramona could have said what she did in front of everyone and it was despicable. Bethenny says she should check herself and that when John came in, he proved her right. She says Dorinda is in denial. Dorinda says she can do what she wants. Bethenny says John attacked her and Dorinda says she is sorry for that. She says she chooses John though, and maybe she should see them apart from him.

Dorinda says she’s has enough negativity. Bethenny says she’s sorry Dorinda is so torn and Ramona says she didn’t mean to hurt Dorinda. Dorinda says she loves John and Bethenny tells her not to settle for less then she deserves. Dorinda belives Ramona is truly sorry for crossing the line, but she’d be lying if she said all was well.

Next week, the Hamptons, John apologize…sort of, and the Countess and Carole tangle.

April 10. 2016 — GH, Loving Wrong & BH Reunion Round One

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Nina orders a martini in the biggest glass they have. Dillon walks into the bar. And no, that’s not the start of a joke.

Obrecht tells Finn there’s no more work for him there, so auf wiefershehen. He finishes that with so long, farewell, and good-by, referencing The Sound of Music. He’s about to leave when Carly sees him.

Paul and Anna are in cells across from one another.

Carrrlos tells Alexis he was offered a deal. She advises him to turn it down.

Julian tells Sonny that if he wanted to talk, he could have just asked. Sonny says he’s not there to talk and this is Julian’s last chance.

Dillon approaches Nina. He says he’s surprised to see her there and that he thought she and Franco were going on vacation. She says it’s not happening now, or probably ever. She says he has the right idea of just concentrating on work and that Crimson is her baby and will never disappoint her. She gets her martini and asks for a jumbo one for Dillon too. It really doesn’t look like that big of a glass. He should have given her a beer mug.

Kiki comes out because she heard a noise. Franco says sorry, he threw something. He tells Kiki that he had another fight with Nina and it was about her. Kiki says she can move out if they want. Franco says they’re at the point in their relationship when you misunderstand everything and it’s not her fault. Kiki says Nina really loves him.

Carly introduces Jocelyn to Finn. They talk about bearded lizards as she’d like one as a pet. Carly wanted an exam for Jocelyn, who has a rash, but both Griff and Brad are out to dinner. Finn says he’ll be glad to do it.

Sonny tells Julian that Carrrlos is going to spill the beans about him. He asks if Julian ordered Carrrlos to kill him too.

Alexis tells Carrrlos the deal isn’t in his best interest. He says it’s not in Julian’s best interest and sorry, he’s rejecting her offer of representation. He says he thinks he can handle signing a paper. She asks what protection he has if he does.

Paul tells Anna he can get them out of this mess if she joins forces with him. She asks why he acts like they’re allies. He says he doesn’t want her throwing her life away and she asks what his big interest is in her.

Mayor Lomax storms into the precinct, demanding why her DA is in jail. How much time does she have?

Finn examines Jocelyn. Carly says she had a kidney transplant when she was younger and she doesn’t want to take any chances. Finn asks if there are any other symptoms and Carly says she usually has a lot of energy, but she’s been sluggish lately.

Franco doesn’t want to go to work, but Kiki says she’ll be fine. He makes her promise to call if she needs anything. He leaves. She hears sirens and looks outside, telling herself it’s okay. She calls Morgan at the hospital. He’s not available, so she leaves a message to say she called. She keeps telling herself she’s okay and safe.

Nina is getting drunk and Dillon says she should slow down. She says she doesn’t have anyone to go home to, she’s free, childless and infertile. She suggests pulling an all-nighter at the office and sucks down the rest of her drink with a straw. She says they need to put their stone to the grindnose and tells the bartender the floor is uneven. Dillon helps her out the door and she keeps saying Crimson is her baby. He says he’ll drive her home.

Julian tells Sonny that Carrrlos was acting on his own. Sonny talks about Julian’s previous lies and how he’s doubtful. Julian says he didn’t even know Carrrlos was still in the country. Sonny says Carrrlos is going to finger him for Duke’s murder and he doesn’t want any backlash for Alexis or the rest of the family.

Alexis tells Carrrlos that the prosecution has the right to change its mind. He says it’s Julian they want and she says they want them both. She says Anna will want him even more.

Jordan tells Lomax that Paul was charged earlier. Lomax says she knows since she was his one phone call. Jordan explains about Sloane being the body pulled from the river and that Paul confessed to shooting him. Lomax asks if there’s a statement and Jordan says there’s a witness, Anna. Lomax says to give her a reason not to fire her right now.

Anna says Paul blackmailed her and let her think she killed Carrrlos. Paul asks why she wouldn’t want Carrrlos dead; it’s revenge for Duke and her hands are clean. She says she just wants justice now. She wants to know what the end game is and why he’s doing this. He says he’s in love with her.

Anna tells him that’s absurd. He asks why else he would have gone to such great lengths to protect her? He says that he admires her and she infuriates him in equal measure. She says there’s a significant difference between them — she owns up to her mistakes and he doesn’t.

Finn tells Carly that it’s Fifth disease, something that spreads around school every once in a while. He says it usually goes away on its own, and she’s no longer contageous, but she can be kept home from school for a few days.

Franco drops his papers everywhere and Obrecht asks if he’s throwing himself a parade. He says he’s throwing away his attempt at art therapy on himself.

Dillon gets Nina home and says he’ll make her some tea, since that’s what she drinks at the office. Nina tells him how sweet he is. She thanks him for being good to her. She says Franco doesn’t understand what she wants. She needs someone who understands and she needs him. She kisses him.

Alexis says the case is circumstantial and the state just doesn’t want a possible loss of the case. She says even if it’s a reduced sentence, one of Sonny’s people will kill Carrrlos from the inside. She says she wants to take it to trial and if she wins, he’ll be a free man.

Julian says he’s been out of the business for a while, and maybe Sonny resents that because he can’t do it. He says he’s living an upstanding life now and Sonny wants to take it away from him.

Franco tells Obrecht that he and Nina have been fighting for weeks. Obrecht says maybe they should go their separate ways. He says he loves Nina, but she wants a baby and has started to resent Kiki. Obrecht says maybe Nina needs a Kiki of her own.

Nina starts pulling Dillon’s clothes off. He asks where Franco is, and she says she doesn’t care. She passes out with his shirt under her and Kiki walks in.

Sonny says the only reason Julian is still living is because Danny needed his bone marrow, but Danny’s father is back now. He says if something happens to Carrrlos, an unfortunate accident or a disappearance, he’s holding Julian responsible. If Carrrlos dies, Julian dies.

Carrrlos says his baby needs him now, not years from now, and agrees to have Alexis represent him.

Jordan says they have DNA linking Sloane’s body to Paul. She asks Lomax for 24 hours, but Lomax says she’s not giving her another second. She says Jordan created a public relations nightmare and she wants Paul released immediately.

Anna says she has nothing but loathing for Paul and they have nothing in common. Lomax comes in and says obviously everything was a mistake. Paul leaves with her, telling Anna “ta-ta!”

Dillon tells Kiki not to get the wrong idea. She says don’t worry; she heard the whole thing. He tells Kiki how he found Nina at the bar. He hoists Nina onto hisshoulder and puts her to bed.

Franco says Nina can’t get pregnant and he doesn’t want kids. Obrecht says there are other ways to give her what she wants. She says perhaps Nina should volunteer her time. She gives some suggestions including knitting booties for Schnauzers. She says she doesn’t understand the obsession with putting animals in human clothing, but they do give you unconditional love.

Finn tells Carly that Jocelyn should be good as new in a couple of days. Obrecht comes by and wonders why Finn is still there. Carly explains that he examined Jocelyn, and Obrecht isn’t happy.

Alexis says not to tell anyone what they’ve discussed. Carrrlos tells her he never wanted to betray Julian and she says she’ll be in touch.

Carly tells Obrecht she asked Finn to examine her daughter. He tells her to go wait for the test results. Obrecht says he has no privileges to treat people there. He says anyone who would impede the health of a child is dangerous. She says he flaunted the rules and he’s the dangerous one. She tells him he’ll treat patients there over her dead body, and he gets a “hmm” look on his face.

Dillon suggests that Kiki have aspirin ready when Nina wakes up and hopes she doesn’t remember what happened. Kiki says she appreciates how kind he was to Nina. He says he hopes they didn’t disturb Kiki. She says she couldn’t sleep and he asks if she wants him to make tea for her, but she says no thanks. Morgan calls and Dillon leaves.

Max wonders if Julian will back off of Carrrlos. Sonny wants him watched around the clock since he’ll do anything to save his own ass.

Julian meets Alexis at the MetroCourt. He thanks her for taking the Carrrlos case. She says it would ruin their lives if Carrrlos exposed Julian.

Lomax says she has papers to sign. Jordan tells Paul there’s evidence out there against him and she’s going to find it.

Carrrlos ends up in the cell across from Anna.

Tomorrow, Anna has no sympathy for Carrrlos, Feliz finds out griff is Duke’s son, and more nookie for Sam and Jason.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Ben is about to put something in Pete’s IV, when Nurse Tina calls Andrew. He tells her to go into Pete’s room and be cool about it. He says do it now or Pete is dead, adding to leave her phone on.

Eddie is in front of the door, but Tina says she has to check on Pete. Eddie tries to intimidate her, but she won’t have it and goes in anyway. She tells Ben she thought he worked outside, and when he says he does, she suggests he do that. Tina tells the other nurse to go get a camera to put on the patient, which is pretty disturbing to Ben. She asks him about the pain meds, but he says he kicked them.

Eddie calls Ben from like three feet away and Ben tells him Tina is putting a camera in the room. He also mentions her asking about the pain meds. Eddie tells him the nurse can tell he’s a junkie and she’s putting the camera in there to check on him, not Pete.

Tina calls Andrew and tells him about the camera idea. He says she’s brilliant and that’s why he loves her. Lushion asks what happened and Andrew says he just won a bet on a horse named Tina. Lushion calls Natalie, but she’s busy yapping with the girls.

Quan’s mother finds him on the corner and smacks him. Tilda asks if he’s doing drive-bys now. Quan says she can’t be rolling up on him and his boys and she pulls out a gun and shoots. The guys all disappear and she says they’re gone now. She says she taught him better and gave him the connections. Quan blames Julius. He says he owes Julius money and was forced into it. Tilda tells him if the cops find out it’s him, his ass is grass. She tells him if he does something that stupid again, he’s going to find himself on the wrong end of a drive-by. She also says she wants Joey dead.

Kelly checks on sleeping Alex and the baby. The other kids are sleeping too, and all is peaceful for the moment. She goes back downstairs and joins Natalie and Esperanza. Kelly says she’s going to sleep in Alex’s room. Esperanza asks if they’re safe. She says she can’t believe Brad called Alex’s parents and Kelly says they’re like something out of a 40s movie. She tells them about Alex smacking Randal around. Natalie says you never go after a mother’s child and they toast to that. Kelly tells them that Randal is suing for custody. She says that Marcie and Brad have moved in together, but it’s a roommate situation. Esperanza says what about catching them in the shed, but Kelly says she thinks that was a one-time thing. They agree the focus has to be on the baby.

Natalie and Esperanza want leave. Kelly says the good news is that she found a house for Natalie. Natalie says after all this, she wants to stay where she is. Kelly says it’s next door to her and doesn’t she want to live on their block? Sure, after all the drama that’s just happened. Kelly calls Ramses and asks if they can come by to see the house. Natalie thinks Kelly wants to see more than the house because of the way she’s smiling.

The girls go to look at the house. For women who were so worried about safety, they leave Alex alone sleeping with the kids. I love the houses on this block because they’re so colorful with gingerbread trim and look like play houses. Kelly introduces the girls to Ramses. Natalie says the house feels good. Natalie asks if she can bring Lushion by, and Kelly suggests she call him right now because they haven’t intruded on Ramses enough in the middle of the night. They go back to the house where Natalie left her phone. The girls get all giggly over Ramses, which is understandable.

When they get back, Esperanza and Natalie question Kelly about Ramses. Esperanza says she knows why Kelly was so excited to go over there. Kelly tells Natalie to call Lushion and they joke it’s because Kelly wants to go back. Esperanza asks if Kelly and Travis are done. I hope so, since he hasn’t been on the show since the first season. Natalie calls Lushion and leaves a message to call her back, explaining about the house.

Esperanza asks Kelly to tell them more about Ramses, and she gives them the condensed version. Natalie tells her to make him wait, no sex yet, and Kelly says geez, she just met him. Natalie adds she doesn’t want to go through what they did with Travis again. Kelly says sometimes they think they’re in love but it’s only a distraction to keep them from what God has for them. Kelly thinks Ramses might be the real thing, but Natalie says to take it slow.

Lushion calls back and Natalie asks him to come by to see the house. Esperanza says since no one is driving, let’s have more wine.

Quan and one of his cronies are watching Faun go to Joey’s house. Quan says they’re going to get the money from her and smoke Joey.

Faun suggests she and Joey go to a hotel, but he says his mother is gone until tomorrow. Faun doesn’t think it’s very romantic. She says she likes nicer things and he asks if it’s too ghetto. She says it’s not that, she thinks it’s not safe. She says she has money, but he says he doesn’t want that. They start making out. Maybe ghetto isn’t so bad after all.

Brad lounges on the couch and Marcie asks how long he’s staying up. He says he can’t sleep and she says neither can she. He says everything is reminding him of Alex. He says he was thinking about seeing his kids. Marcie says she’s glad she and Randal didn’t have any. He says he’d feel like a fool if he went back. Marcie says in some eyes, but the only thing that matters is what’s in his eyes. She adds that she still loves Randal, and remembers when things were good. She says she hates Alex, but Randal was a charmer. When he wants something, he won’t stop until he gets it. She says Alex was no match for him. She says once he set his sights on Alex, she was helpless.

Brad says she’s wrong. Alex is smart, cunning and manipulative, and knew exactly what she was doing. Marcie says she grew up with Virginia and Rusty, and Brad says she had to do whatever it took to distance herself and she’s strong and tough. Marcie says she hears him, but Randal has two masters degrees in psychology. She tells Brad about how he got murderers off and she wouldn’t underestimate him. He asks if she’s pushing him to go back. She says she needs help with the rent, but she wouldn’t blame him if he went back. She says she believes Alex is sorry. She says again that Alex is no match for Randal, but Brad doesn’t agree.

Brad asks what they’re going to do, just look at each other all night? Marcie suggests a movie. She says what about an action adventure film, since there’s no love story in that. Brad says he likes action. Hmm…

Lushion comes to Ramses’s house still in uniform, and Ramses asks why he’s there and what’s going on. Lushion realizes he’s the one selling the house and introduces himself. Lushion calls Natalie telling her he’s there. Lushion apologizes for the other night and says sorry about Ramses’s mom. He asks if Ramses told Natalie her mother died in the house. Ramses says no. Natalie comes out and they make small talk. Lushion suggests they could use Ramses on the force, but Natalie is like, if he stays we won’t have a house.

Ramses brings them in. Lushion says it’s really nice and Natalie says she thought he’d like it and it has three bedrooms. Lushion likes the size of the rooms. Ramses says he’s still waiting on the appraisal, but the market value is $210K. Really? The houses are cute, but not that cute. Lushion says let’s do this and he’ll call the bank tomorrow. If only it were that easy IRL.

Outside, Lushion tells Natalie he really likes the house. Lushion tells her he’s smart and ten steps ahead of Eddie, and when all is said and done, he’s coming out on top. He tells Natalie to trust him. She says it’s hard, but she will. Natalie says she loves him and he says he loves her too.

She tells him that Pete had been looking for him and left a disk for him. He asks where it is and she says in the breadbox. He says he’ll come by in the morning. She asks if everything is okay and he tells her yes, but on his way back to the squad car, he hopes the disk is still there.

Next week, Quan tells Joey he’s dead, Julius wants to know about the will, and Alex says she’ll fight tooth and nail to protect her baby.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – The Reunion – Part One

The first topic is LVP’s flying in the little horse. We quickly move on to Kathryn’s criticism of Eileen’s bags and the expensive sunglasses debacle from several seasons ago.

We flash back to both of Erika’s personalities. We also find out that Erika owns the same dress LVP is wearing tonight. There’s talk about both Erika and LVP being married to older men. Erika talks about how people called her a golddigger when she and Tom first got together. Erika was also married before and has a son on the LAPD.

They talk about Erika bringing her glam squad to Dubai and Erika teaches us her “pat the puss” dance step, which is originally a dance hall move from Jamaica. OMG – someone tweets about Erika being too old to be prancing around. She answers graciously, but no comment from me. Andy says she seems submissive to Tom, but she says she’s being respectful. She talks about not being Erika Jayne at home.

Andy congratulates Yolanda on her kids who are models like she’s the one walking the runway. Someone asks about Yolanda missing her old walk-in fridge, and she says it’s still sending her tweets.

Now the hard part. Yolanda’s marriage. We flash back to better times that were apparently not as idyllic as they seemed. Andy says what a shock it was to everyone and asks why the divorce decision was made. Yolanda says being so ill takes the life out of you as well as the caretaker. She says David didn’t change, she did, and this is the outcome. She and Kathryn talk about divorce as a loss of a best friend and everyone says how sorry they are. Andy asks about the public criticism of David and Yolanda makes excuses for him. Sorry, I think he should be criticized.

LVP asks if she was blindsided and we flash back to an emotional moment. Yolanda says it had nothing to do with it at the time. Yolanda says she didn’t really know until after the filming. She says she didn’t know it was the end of the road and had hoped to be completely well before dealing with the issues they had. She doesn’t want to publicly analyze the marriage. Andy asks if she blames the divorce on her illness. Yolanda says they probably would be together had she not gotten sick, but that’s life. He asks what their contact is now and she says they’re taking time to settle, which I take to mean no contact.

Everyone expresses how surprised they were. LVP says there were no signs. Andy rudely asks if Yolanda confided in Erika. Erika says she’s not talking about what they talked about. Yolanda says they can dissect everything now, but it does no good.

Here it comes. Andy asks Kyle if she thinks Yolanda’s marriage could have been affecting her health. False alarm. This gets glossed over and a short discussion about menopause ensues. Andy tries to bring it back by asking if Yolanda thinks she was depressed. She says because of the circumstances, but not clinically. He asks if she thinks she’ll get married again and she says no. I hear you.

It’s Kathryn’s turn next. We flash back to some of her scenes, including the Faye Resnick stuff. They talk about Donnie being the hottest husband and unseating Mauricio for that title. Kyle says a lot of the interviews upset Faye and it’s not the person she knows. Kathryn talks about how Faye drug her and her then husband into the OJ thing. Andy talks about the OJ movie and how it was on TV around the same time Faye was on the Wives. Kathryn is sticking to her feelings, while Kyle is all rainbows and unicorns about Faye. I’m sure she’s a great friend to Kyle, who met her after all that happened, but I always get the impression she thinks she’s better than everyone else with nothing to back that up.

More OJ, Faye and Marcus Allen talk. Kathryn’s comments about LisaR’s eating habits are brought up and there’s a small discussion. Then they talk about Kathryn’s father committing suicide and she starts to cry because her nephew just died of a heroin overdose. She says her family has gone through hard times, which seems like an understatement.

Okay, here it comes. Really this time. The Munchhausen thing. I thought if I heard that word one more time on this show, I was going to go out of my mind. We flash back and I still find it odd that no one focuses on how Yolanda started to feel better after she had her breast implants removed and the kids who have Lyme disease were breastfed. Hello? Is this thing on?

We start with LisaR’s problem with Yolanda’s Instagram posts and how her illness would ebb and flow. Kyle says nobody ever questioned that she had Lyme disease, but they thought something else must be going on. I can understand the good day, bad day thing though, and I think a lot of people don’t get that. Andy asks if LisaR still believes Yolanda used her illness to her advantage and she says that’s how she felt in that moment.

Yolanda says she has trust issues with friendships now. She says LisaR had no business coming out with the opinons she did without knowing her and what was going on. The breaking for commercial music starts and I think someone’s phone is going off. I can’t believe there are only a few more minutes to the show.

Yolanda asks LisaR what her basis was for being so outspoken. LisaR says her hairdresser had a friend with Munchhausen and suggested it might be Yolanda’s problem, but it was jut a conversation. Yolanda asks why make it public then. LisaR says at her birthday party, Harry said they need to support Yolanda whether she’s sick or not and LVP said there goes our storyline. She says she subsequently got a phone call from LVP, telling her to bring it up. LVP says she rarely calls LisaR and LisaR pulls out phone records. She says she brought it up because LVP told her to. Yolanda and Erika leave the set.

Next week, more of the same, Andy asks Yolanda who she believes, Kim joins the group, and Eileen doesn’t trust LVP.

April 18, 2016 — GH, the Charmless South & Mad Dallas Wives

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital 

Scene replay of Griff seeing Nathan propose to Maxie. Maxie says last time she thought Nathan was proposing, she was wrong and looked like a fool. He says she’s never looked anything except beautiful and this time it’s real.

Nina tells Franco she had a discussion with her brother and she came to a decision about the two of them. Franco is like, great! but she tells him don’t say that yet.

Kristina calls out Max for spying on her. He says both Sonny and he are concerned about her. She asks if he told Sonny everything. Max says he left out certain specifics and just gave him a general report, adding that she shouldn’t underestimate Sonny. Kristina thanks him. Sonny comes in and says he wants to talk to Kristina about her future.

Sam comes over to Alexis’s house. Alexis shows her the headline about Carrrlos being apprehended.

Carrrlos tells Julian to bring a lawyer when he comes. A good one.

Anna tells Paul it will be interesting to see what Carrrlos’s lawyer says. Paul says take the deal and rat out Julian. Jordan joins them and tells Paul that she’s busting him.

Franco says he loves Nina. She says when Dr. Lee told her that she can never conceive, she was heartbroken, but he looked relieved. She says she’s sorry for jumping on him, but her mother took away 20 years of her life and her baby, and made sure she’d never have another one. She says she’s not going to lose again and she’s not walking away from him.

Maxie tells Nathan…nothing. She calls over to Griff and introduces Nathan to him. Griff stammers and shakes Nathan’s hand. I’m intrigued. Who is Nathan to him?

Kristina says her future by definition is up to her. Sonny says since she was suspended form school, she needs something to occupy her time. He wants her to be his office assistant and says she’ll be financially contributing to her own education as well, and be more likely to take it seriously. Kristina says Alexis would never allow her to work for Sonny, but Sonny says it’s just the opposite, that she’s encouraging it.

Paul tells Jordan that coming after him might have an adverse affect on her career. She asks if that’s a threat. He says that obviously Anna is out of sorts because Sonny caught Carrrlos instead of her, and Jordan should take some time off to decompress. Jordan says he aided and abetted Carrrlos and he’s going to jail right behind him.

Julian says he’ll see to it that Carrrlos has the best attorney. Carrrlos tells him he’s only ever cared about himself and tells him about the deal. Julian tells him not to take it and Carrrlos says he has no desire to help Paul, but if Julian can’t get him out, he might have to take the deal. He says the lawyer better care as much about saving him as Julian cares about himself.

Alexis says Julian thought Carrrlos would never come back and she can just imagine what he’s telling the police right now. Sam asks what she’s going to do.

Franco says that’s not what he expected. Nina says she’s not dumping him, but reserves dumping rights. She says Nathan pointed out he cognitive dissidence of her not being forthcoming about everything. Franco translates that to mean that she went to the doctor behind his back. He adds that he’s going to have words with Nathan, because nobody talks to his girlfriend like that.

Griff says he has to get back to the hospital. Maxie tells Nathan that Griff’s father is Duke. Nathan says he didn’t know that and Griff says Duke didn’t either. Nathan hopes Carrrlos’s capture will give him some peace. Griff isn’t sure what he means by that, and Maxie says no matter what, someone is going to have Carrrlos’s head.

Sonny says if Kristina works for him, she’ll get to know him better. He wants them to have an open and honest relationship. Kristina says she does too and there’s something he needs to know.

Alexis tells Sam she loves Julian, but he chose to live a different life. She says now he’s changed his ways and she’d hate to see him paying for what’s in the past. Sam says there’s a difference between love and support, and if Julian gets slammed, it’s because of his choices not hers. Alexis says it’s her choice to stay by his side.

Julian comes in and says he wants to talk to Alexis, so Sam leaves. Julian tells her everything they’ve feared has come to pass.

Paul says he had nothing to do with Carrrlos’s escape and Jordan has no proof. Au contraire, she says; she has proof about the body that was fished from the river. Paul says if that’s all she has, she’d better start cleaning out her desk because Lomax is going to have her head. Anna says it’s not all she has, Jordan has her. D’oh!

Nina says Nathan is the reason she came back. He’s not crazy about Franco’s past transgressions, but knows how happy he makes Nina. She says she wanted love, a career and a baby, but two out of three isn’t bad. She says she needed to take a couple steps back to realize she has Franco and that should be enough. He says he’ll make it his life work to show her that just the two of them can be fulfilling. Nina says let’s blow this joint.

Griff leaves. Nathan thinks something is off about him. He tells Maxie that she left him hanging. She says she was in the middle of discussing something with Griff. He says he’d like an answer, but Maxie looks for the waitress. He tells her if she doesn’t want to marry him, he understands. She says the proposal seems less about her than about Nathan getting over his ex-wife.

Max interrupts and says Griff is there to see Sonny. Kristina takes the opportunity to jet and says all she wanted to say is that she likes tea better than coffee. Griff asks Sonny what his intentions are for Carrrlos.

Julian tells Alexis he was putting off telling her about Carrrlos. He didn’t want her to feel obligated to stay. She says she’s staying. Julian tells her there’s a deal on the table. Alexis says she’ll start preparing his defense. He says Carrrlos isn’t taking the deal because his lawyer is going to convince him not to. Alexis asks what lawyer that is, and Julian says her.

Anna says she can back everything up and tells Jordan that Paul murdered Sloane.

Sam meets Kristina in the park. Kristina tells her about the job with Sonny and tells her it’s mom approved. Sam agrees that it will be a good bonding experience. Kristina says unless Sonny finds out Parker is a woman.

Sonny says if he had his way Carrrlos wouldn’t be in custody. Griff says he’ll answer for what he did to Duke and appreciates that Sonny didn’t just bump him off. He says he doesn’t want any more blood spilled in his father’s name. He asks Sonny what happens if Carrrlos goes free.

Paul acts all shocked that Anna would accuse him of killing a federal agent. Jordan says there’s no motive for killing Sloane and Anna tells her about Paul’s daughter. Anna says Carrrlos saw it and that’s why he had leverage over Paul.

Julian says he never wanted to pull Alexis in, but it happened. Yep, just like that out of the blue.

Nina suggests a vacation somewhere tropical and private. She’s already booked it. Franco says he’s all for spontaneity if the timing is right. Nina says it’s perfect, but Franco says what about Kiki? He tells Nina she was released and he doesn’t think she should be alone. Nina says Kiki has a capable mother and she’s not a kid anymore. Franco says she’s his kid. Nina says she gets it now. He doesn’t want a kid with her because he already has one and one is enough.

Maxie says how can she not connect the dots? Nathan says she’s right. It is about Claudette, but not in the way she thinks. He says he’s been thinking about the time he wasted with Claudette and how it’s different with Maxie, and that they’re working on something real. He says Maxie gives him everything he wants without a second thought, while Claudette gave him nothing. He asks for her answer again.

Sam says she can’t believe Kristina left out the most interesting part about Parker. Kristina says she should have known she could trust Sam. Sam asks why she’s avoiding Sonny. Kristina says what he doesn’t know won’t kill him and Sam says what he doesn’t know won’t bring them closer together. Sam tells Kristina about Stone and how he had AIDS, and how Sonny treated him well, even though other people were afraid back then. She mentions Robin too. Kristina says she’s still confused and Sam tells her to go out and experience life.

Maxie tells Nathan yes, and they kiss.

Nina wants to leave and tells Franco to give her a reason to stay. She says to stop telling her how important she is and show her. Franco asks if he can’t make things work from there and why do they need to go on vacation? Nina says if it’s not her, it will be someone else. She says it’s never going to be just them, and starts to leave. Franco asks her to stay and she says she’ll send him a postcard.

Paul says the grief form Duke’s death has left Anna delusional. Paul starts getting loud and Jordan says people will be lining up to go against him. He tells her not to forget her friend Anna’s part in it and that he’ll make damn sure Anna goes to jail too.

Griff wants to know if despite the legal outcome no harm will come to Carrrlos. Sonny says it’s not up to him. Griff says even if it’s out of his hands, someone else might do something. He tells Sonny thanks for seeing him and leaves.

Alexis says she can be disbarred if she tries to talk Carrrlos out of the deal. Julian says to get him off them. Alexis says she’ll go get her magic wand. He says just give Carrrlos the best defense possible. She says she’ll take the case, but only because she wants to defend what they have now, not what used to be.

Franco leaves a phone message for Nina and tells her not to give up on them. He says he’ll be waiting when she gets home.

Nina goes to the MetroCourt and sees Maxie and Nathan. Nina congratulates them and says at least someone is happy. They drink champagne.

Sam says Kristina isn’t going to figure anything out sitting around. She needs to go out and meet people. Kristina says something is different about Sam and suddenly realizes Sam must have had sex with Jason. She asks how it was and Sam says she has no complaints. She tells Kristina not to tell Molly or make a big deal out of things. She says they still have a lot to figure out.

Julian is on the phone saying he needs a contingency plan. Sonny comes in and is like, what did you just say?

Jordan says Paul is right; she can’t arrest Paul without arresting Anna. Jordan says she’ll arrest them both and who wants to go first. Anna volunteers, saying she’s willing to face the consequences of her actions. Jordan reads Anna her rights.

Sonny sics Max on Julian.

Carrrlos asks Alexis why she’s there and she tells him she’s his lawyer. She says don’t thank her though, thank Julian.

Sonny tells Max to take Julian to the car. He’s going for a ride. In mob talk, that’s never a good thing.

Tomorrow, Sonny tells Julian it’s his last chance, Alexis tells Carrrlos to turn down the deal and Mayor Lomax is going to fire someone.

Southern Charm

Craig is looking for the hairspray. Naomie tells him it’s in the black box and I wonder if they live in a plane. Even Craig is shocked that he has a job, an apartment and a girlfriend. It’s the start of the new Craig.

Shep FaceTimes with his mom. She asks if he’s keeping his place tidy and he tells her he tried to use furniture polish on the floor and almost killed himself slipping. He’s had his house for six months and wants to put a pool and bar on the roof. His mother is understandably concerned for his well-being.

Craig goes in for his first day working for JD. JD tells him to keep some casual clothes at work in case they have to knock out a wall. Craig thought this was strictly white collar, but apparently a touch of the blue is involved. JD says he’s taking a chance on hiring Craig, although Craig actually does seem to be making an effort.

Cameran comes by Shep’s place. She wonders why he wasn’t answering her texts at 11 am, but he says he only gets up early for surging, duck hunting, skiing and sex. It’s good to have some structure. Cameran tells him if he’s going to work in real estate, he’s going to have to get used to the morning. Cameran thinks he’s not living up to his potential and he’d be good at convincing women to buy houses, since they’re usually the decision makers.

Thomas. Bleh. Kathryn calls Thomas. She’s found a house she likes and wants to drop by with pictures. Thomas wants to keep the peace and avoid any arguments, so he’s being agreeable. Kathryn shows him the pictures and he’s impressed. She says she’s already given her deposit and first month’s rent, but she needs a co-signer. He thinks she should get her own credit established, but if she has no credit, isn’t this one way to do it? She says she wants to make a good life for her children. Since Thomas is always talking about all the great things he wants to do for the kids, she doesn’t want them to be disappointed when they’re at home after being at his place. Thomas gives the okay and says he’ll co-sign.

He asks Kathryn if she wants to come to his polo match with Kensie and go to the beach afterward. She’s not sure about his motives, but says okay. He asks for a hug and I go bleh again.

Patricia is planning her Flamingo Party and meets with a party planner. He brings an entire album of flamingo ideas. What? No PowerPoint presentation? Patricia ordered some baby flamingo floaties for the pool, but didn’t realize they come twelve to a package and ordered twelve, making the total 144. I can’t wait to see the pool.

Cameran says Shep’s dating life consists of one-night stands. She’s out to dinner with him and some hanger-on who looks like Jenny McCarthy and whose name I can never remember.

Landon is playing golf with her dad. Most of her words are bleeped, so I guess she’s not too good at the game. Landon says she’s a daddy’s girl. They go for a drink afterward and agree that it’s their favorite part. He asks what she’s got going on and she says she’d love to open a bar, but right now she’s working on an online magazine about Charleston society. Her father says pick one thing and go with it. Landon says she’s tired of everyone telling her she can’t have 50 dreams. No, Landon, you can, just not all 50 at once. She gets weepy during her individual interview. Millennial much? Her father wants her to be happy, but he’s not handing over any cash. He tells her she’s always landed on her feet, but she needs to make one thing work. He says God protects kids and fools, and she asks which one she is. I’d always heard it was drunks and fools.

Thomas is on the phone with Kathryn when she brings up the Flamingo Party. She wants to know why Patricia is excluding her and he says maybe it was an oversight — even though he knows it wasn’t — but she should be there. He says it’s a reflection on him and he doesn’t want the mother of his children excluded. He says he’ll talk to Patricia.

Craig is having Cameran help him with ring shopping. He says he and Naomie dated long distance for eight months and then moved in together, and he’s ready to take the next step. They go to the store and he says he wants a pre-engagement ring, which the jeweler calls a promise ring. Are we in high school? Maybe he should consider an ID bracelet. Cameran says he wants to lock Naomie down, but I don’t think a promise ring is going to do it. He does spend a bundle though.

Thomas says Kathryn’s strengths don’t lie in good manners and good breeding. This guy barely has any manners and doesn’t even realize he just threw shade at his own children. He wants to keep things copacetic so he can see Kensie when he wants to. He wants Kathryn in a happy place. Thomas visits Patricia. They meet in the library (the one in her house, not the public library) and I love this room! Thomas brings her a humongous candle. Patricia can tell he’s on a mission.

Michael brings in the drinks. Thomas flatters Patricia and she asks what he wants. He pleads Kathryn’s case for coming to the Flamingo Party. He says she wants to repair her relationships. Patricia says her fancy friends are going to be there and she doesn’t want to take the chance of Kathryn being emotional. Thomas says Kathryn has made progress. Patricia says she needs to take care of the kids rather than worry about going to parties. Thomas flatters her some more, but it’s still a no.

It’s polo match time. Kensie’s nanny is there. Thomas says the invitation to Kathryn was a chance to get what he wants — to see Kensie more. Thomas practices some shots.

Kathryn is doing all that stuff you have to do to get a toddler ready for travel. She’s concerned about having another small one to look after, since she can barely keep up with Kensie. Her friend, Jennifer, is driving. They all keep talking about Brooklyn and confusing me.

The match starts and a bunch of guys on horseback smack balls around. JD and his wife, Elizabeth, are Kensie’s godparents and looking forward to seeing her. Kathryn says they seem to talk to Thomas, but not her. Kathryn talks about what happens to the friends when a couple breaks up. When Kathryn sees Elizabeth there, she panics because she thinks Elizabeth and JD will go running back to Thomas with everything she says and does, even though he’s right there. She says it was supposed to be a family day and seeing all of the people is giving her a panic attack. Didn’t she realize there might be a few other people at a polo match?

She’s mighty annoyed, but brings Kensie over to where the nanny is. JD and Elizabeth give her a hug and say she looks good, but Kathryn isn’t having any. Why is this toddler dressed in a too long dress? When one has just learned to walk, this is probably a bad idea. Kathryn is annoyed at the fakeness and says Kensie’s godparents haven’t even visited in months. JD and Elizabeth ask Jennifer what’s up when Kathryn goes to the car. Jennifer shrugs and looks at the sky, but in her individual interview, says when Kathryn struggles emotionally, it’s like a volcano.

The nanny asks to approach the car. Kathryn wants Kensie out of the situation. Elizabeth asks if it’s the alcohol and says they can ditch it. Kathryn says she just doesn’t want her daughter around this mess. Jennifer asks what she wants to do and Kathryn says get out of there. She says screw Thomas; they’re leaving. And off they go.

JD thinks it’s unfair and even though he has no clue what’s up with Kathryn, it’s not like he hasn’t seen it before. After the match, Thomas wonders where Kensie is. He gets all stupid, whining, where’s my baby? JD says she left with Kathryn and the nanny. Elizabeth says she seemed unhappy with the atmosphere. Thomas says Kathryn shouldn’t punish Kensie by keeping her from her father. Frankly, I think she’s doing Kensie a favor. Thomas decides he’s not going to help with the house rental. Isn’t that also punishing Kensie? What an idiot this guy is.

Next time, Craig submits his application to the bar, Kathryn goes to the hospital, JD is concerned that Kathryn is manipulating Thomas, and there are flamingoes galore.

The Real Housewives of Dallas

I brace myself. I also wonder if there were clowns on the carny circuit who taught Leeanne how to apply makeup.

Brandi is helping Marie’s daughter by coaching her in cheerleading. Afterward they hang out in the kitchen. Brandi apologizes for being outspoken at Marie’s charity event. Marie says most people don’t know the better side of Leeanne. Marie says that Leeanne is very funny and they’ll bond over a sense of humor. In her individual interview, Brandi says she’s never heard Leeanne be funny and that’s doubtful.

Cary and Mark are making dinner. She says Mark was a fixer upper when she met him, but he lost 80 pounds and she became romantically interested. Their too cute daughter comes in and they practice her Swiss German. I took two years of French and can only tell you how to pack a suitcase and curse you out. This kid isn’t even in kindergarten and already speaks several languages.

Cary says kids weren’t a priority for her and that really hasn’t changed. She has a husband who cooks, a nanny and an amazing career. I raise my white flag.

Leeanne talks about how she wormed worked her way into Dallas charity society. Mad Hatter’s is the event of the season, or so she says, and anybody who’s anybody goes. It benefits the Dallas Arboretum. The hat Leeanne wore last year won an award. Since she gets her picture in a lot of papers, the designer gives her a free hat. April in Paris is the theme and I have to say the hat looks pretty cool. Very Audrey Hepburn-ish.

Brandi and Stephanie get together to make their own hats. Hide the glue gun or at least hide the wine while they’re using the glue gun. Already they’re talking poop. Brandi says she’s going to under-do everybody. Stephanie says she has to behave more responsibly, since she’s in charge of charitable contributions for their family.

Stephanie asks Brandi if she’s going to apologize. Brandi asks if Stephanie thinks she needs to. Stephanie tells Brandi she wrote Leeanne an email since it seemed like they were ganging up on her. Pfft! Leeanne started it. Stephanie basically apologized and Leeanne replied by saying she doesn’t trust Brandi not to make fun of her again. Oh, boo hoo. Stephanie asks if Brandi is mad about the email. Brandi says no, but she feels like Leeanne is trying to turn things around.

Leeanne is cooking on the grill and her dog is eating off of the cheese plate on the table. She’s having Tiffany and her husband over.Tiffany talks about how they met on a modeling shoot. She says they were party girls back in the day and they continue to have each other’s backs. Tiffany’s husband, Aaron, talks about artificially inseminating cows, which is great dinner table talk. He compares it to something Tiffany did in the bedroom and I don’t want to know.

Leeanne’s boyfriend once won a best legs contest, and the conversation quickly turns to how he should ask Leeanne to marry him. Tiffany suggest he do it before she’s fifty, and Rich says since Leeanne says she’s thirty, he has plenty of time. Hahahahaha!

Back home, Tiffany and Aaron discuss Aaron’s recording plans. Tiffany asks if he’d like a studio in the house. She’s kind of bummed at how much money she made and lost in LA. She says when she met Aaron, he had a recording deal and a mansion in the Hollywood Hills and he’s only in Dallas because of her. She asks if he wants to grow old in Texas with her and he says he’d like to grow old with her anyway.

Commercial break with important information. The Million Dollar Listing New York 90-minute premier is Thursday at 9 pm.

Brandi is baking with her girls and a teeny tiny dog in her arms that I’m already in love with. She says she’ll never be mother of the year, but maybe a short month like February. More poop jokes. They’re going to have a birthday tea party for her mother-in-law complete with a poop pie, which is really a chocolate cake. Brandi tells us to embrace poop.

Stephanie drops by. Brandi says it’s been tough because her husband has been working late hours and Stephanie says it’s the same on her end. Brandi’s husband, Brian, has a goal to be a multi-millionaire by age forty. Keep working, Brian!

Tiffany and Aaron are looking at houses. The house they’re looking at is huge and ultra modern. The realtor says the house would be perfect for the career thing. Tiffany gives the realtor some TMI by telling her they’ve been married eleven years and never seen each other pee. Thanks for that. What is wrong with these people?

Aaron and Tiffany discuss the house afterward. Aaron thinks it’s a lot, but Tiffany says the same thing in LA would cost triple. Aaron is obviously not crazy about Dallas and he doesn’t think the opportunities are there for him. He thinks they should start smaller with the house. I’m thinking he wants back in Hollywood.

It’s tea party time! Brandi says she sees her mother-in-law and sister-in-law more than she sees her husband. That’s okay. Work harder, Brian! They go around the table, telling Brian’s mother what they love about her. Brandi gets emotional when it’s her turn. Her mother was fifteen when she had Brandi’s brother and had her a year later, which she says was difficult. Brandi also never met her grandfather, who abandoned the family. She says she learned early on not to give a damn what other people thought. Well, it sounds like she did good with that hard-working husband. Keep at it, Brian!

Leeanne asks Rich’s opinion on the jewelry she’s going to wear to the Mad Hatter’s event and then proceeds to tell him why his opinion is wrong. It really is a sh*tload of pearls. Like the amount you might wear to the Gay Pride Parade.

Brandi’s hat is basically a tribute to poop. with plastic turds all over it. What is with this poop thing??? If it weren’t for the poop, it would actually be a pretty cool hat because it has something that looks like Spanish moss all hanging down off of it. Brandi says people don’t care as long as you’re donating a bunch of money and her family donates a lot.

Tickets for the event go from $300 to $35,000. There are certainly some amazing hats here. It’s something like the Easter Parade in Manhattan. Stephanie has not embraced the poop idea and her hat is pretty sedate. One lady has a poodle to match her hat or a hat to match her poodle and I’m impressed. Everyone is complementing Brandi’s hat because most of them don’t realize what it is. Brandi says if she’s going to wear sh*t she’s going to look good in it. Tiffany immediately makes a poop hat report to Leeanne, who looks on disapprovingly. In her individual interview, Leeanne talks about how graceful and beautiful all of the ladies are and that Brandi is giving them all a b*tch slap. I dunno about that graceful and beautiful business. Without the hats, I could just as easily see them all shopping at Walmart. On second thought, they could even keep the hats on and I could see them shopping at Walmart. Leeanne says nothing to Brandi’s face about her disapproval. There’s lots of air kissing.

Stephanie finally takes off her hat to lose 50 pounds. She tells everyone about how one of the turds fell off in the bathroom. Cary encourages her to put it on one of the chairs, but Brandi isn’t game. I’m surprised. Cary decides to do it herself and guess who almost sits in the seat. Leeanne thinks Brandi is trying to bait her into a confrontation. Thanks, Cary! Instead of shrugging it off, Leeanne goes to some bigwig and tells on Brandi. She says crossing the wrong people in society you get crossed off the list. That is so stupid, I hope what she did backfires and she’s the one exed out.

Next time, some of the girls go to a strip club, Leeanne won’t let go of the hat drama, and if you bow (pronounced like the bow in rainbow) at Leeanne, she’ll bow back, whatever that means. Is that carny talk?

April 17, 2016 –Oz & the Underworld, Cait & the Dead, the Wives & the Shahs

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

Once Upon A Time

Hook wonders what Red would be doing there, but all they have as a clue is a torn piece of gingham.

Back in the Oz day, Mulan and Red are in the forest. Red finds no trace of her pack’s scent and they’re about to leave when they hear a growl. It’s Toto! Dorothy appears and says that Toto only barks when he sees a witch. Red says it must be that she’s part wolf. She makes him nervous and he takes off. The girls start to follow him, but a wind blows up.

Zelena tells Hades to put his name on the card next time. He says she has a visitor from Oz. He says it’s a werewolf who looks good in red. He wonders why Red would chase her all the way here. Zelena says all the goodwill between her and her sister will be undone if Regina learns the truth. Hades suggests she stay and face them. He says they would be quite a team. She says thanks, but no thanks, her time in the Underworld is over. He says either way, he’s taking care of the wolf.

Belle is upset for not showing Gaston mercy and Gold tells her to stop torturing herself. He says she was only trying to protect their daughter. Belle said if she had saved their baby from Hades, she might feel diffrently. Gold says they will get their baby away from Hades.

Red says she used a tracking spell to find Zelena and now she’s made a mess of things. Snow tells her everything will be cool and the ladies all leave to track Zelena down.

Meanwhile, the guys find Cruella instructing one of her thugs rip out the phone that makes calls between the living and the dead. She says it’s not her idea, but Hades doesn’t want any hope in the Underworld. She tells David she’ll let him make a last call if they make a deal. David says no way, and she tells her henchman to rip out the phone.

The girls find Zelena and ask what she did to Dorothy.

In old Oz, Zelena tells Dorothy it looks like she picked up a few strays, meaning Mulan and Red. She says she was banished into the forest and is being kept from her baby. She asks Dorothy where her silver slippers are and she’s holding Toto hostage until she gets them back.

Regina tells Zelena to tell them what she did. Zelena says even she can’t help now and shows them Dorothy in a mirror. She’s put a sleeping curse on Dorothy and she can’t take it off. Only true love’s kiss can do that.

Zelena tells Regina it’s a simple trade, the slippers for her daughter. Regina says just because Zelena made one bad move — or thirty — doesn’t mean she can’t make a good one now. Zelena gives her the slippers and tells her to keep her pep talks. She says she hopes they wake Dorothy.

Regina gives the slippers to Red. Red asks what good they are if there’s no true love to give her a kiss. She says he only one Dorothy ever loved was her Auntie Em. Emma suggests Em might be in the Underworld.

Back in the Oz forest, Red seems to think Toto is more than a pet. Dorothy says when she got back from Oz, her family tried to get her committed, but her Auntie Em believed her and kept that from happening. Before she died, Auntie Em gave her Toto, so just forget the pesky Wizard of Oz story where Toto came along. Red tells her about discovering she was a wolf and accidentally killing her boyfriend. She says she eventually got control. She came to Oz to look for her pack, but isn’t sure the answer is there anymore. She asks what Dorothy is looking for, but Dorothy says she isn’t sure.

In the Underworld, the ladies find Auntie Em’s grave. Regina says leaving the Underworld isn’t so easy, but Snow thinks maybe they can deliver the kiss using the slippers. David comes back with the guys. There’s a lot of talk about leaving and who is going to do what.

Belle goes to see Zelena. She asks for her help as a mother. She says she knows Hades is in love with Zelena, but Zelena says Hades wold never rip up a contract even for her. She asks why she needs her help when she has the Dark One on her side. Belle says he can’t help and Zelena says she knows she’s not going to get her happy ending with Hades or anyone else. Belle is having morning sickness and Zelena says her pregnancy was sped up by dark magic, so she never had that. Belle is concerned that Hades will do the same to her, so he can get her baby more quickly.

Hook pours over a book of the dead. He tells David that the only information he can find out is that Auntie Em died in Kansas. Hook says David’s name isn’t in the book, so he can go, and that Ruby (Red) is his ticket out.

In the old forest, Dorothy says she’s sorry for calling Red “Wolfie.” Red says she kind of likes it and gives Dorothy the nickname “Kansas.” They hear something above the trees. It’s the flying monkeys! Red asks if Dorothy trusts her. When Dorothy says yes, she turns into a wolf.

Red as the wolf, takes off and the monkeys follow. Mulan shows up, asking what happened. Red turns back to herself and asks if Dorothy is okay. Dorothy says she’s just tired and needs sleep. She thinks it might be the poppies that made her tired.

In the Underworld diner, the ladies find Auntie Em. Red tells her Dorothy is alive and needs her help. She’s about to put a kiss into a jar when she dissolves into liquid. Hades says the soup didn’t agree with her, since he put some water from the River of Lost Souls in it. Emma says he wouldn’t be there if he wasn’t scared they might win the fight. He puts the leftovers from Auntie Em in a jar and says this is what happens when you try to help outsiders.

Mulan asks Red what’s up. She says Dorothy asked her what she’s been looking for and she said she didn’t know. She says she thinks she’s been looking for someone like Dorothy and that she’s never felt like this about anyone. Mulan is like, great, what’s wrong? Red says the way Dorothy looked when Red transformed made her think she was appalled. Mulan says maybe Dorothy just didn’t know what to say and don’t make the same mistake she did by waiting to make her feelings known.

Red goes to Dorothy’s place, but can’t find her.

In the Underworld, Red tells Snow there’s nothing else they can do now and says there’s no one to give Dorothy true loves kiss. Snow says maybe Red can. She says she knows Red and why isn’t she on her way? Red says love is a two way street and Dorothy ditched her back in Oz. Red says she’s scared and Snow says that’s a good thing because love is scary, and what you get back outweighs the risk.

The group gathers in the cemetery. Regina gives Red the shoes and tells David to take her hand. Hook says he’s removed Snow’s name from the headstone, and David tells her they traded David’s name for hers. Hook says the names can’t be erased, but they can be changed. David tells Snow to go to their son and he’ll be back before she knows it. David and Snow kiss. Snow takes Red’s hand. Red clicks her heels three times and they’re gone, poof! in a cloud of white smoke.

Hades shows Zelena a freshly bottled Auntie Em. He says Dorothy has no one and he knows how much Zelena hates her. Zelena says Dorothy is going to be asleep forever and what does he get out of it? He dumps the bottle into the River of Lost Souls and says other than Zelena’s happiness, nothing. He says she’s scared he’s going to disappoint her, but she says that’s a chance she’ll have to take. They toast to Dorothy’s eternal slumber.

Meanwhile in OZ, the Munchins and Toto keep vigil over Dorothy with Mulan. Snow and Red pop in. Red approaches Dorothy and kisses her. A wind comes up and Dorothy awakens. Toto barks with happiness.

Red says Dorothy left without saying anything. Dorothy says she was afraid and didn’t want to lose her to Zelena. Dorothy says Red came back for her and Red says she always will. They kiss.

Henry is done with another chapter of the book, and brings it to David. He says Snow made it back to Storybrooke.

Belle comes to Gold’s shop. She says Hades can take their baby any time he wants. She says they have no time, but she can pause everything, including her pregnancy. She has a sleeping thingie and is going to prick her finger and put herself to sleep. Gold balks and says he won’t be able to wake her because he’s not the man she wants him to be. She says he’s not going to wake her, her father is. He says that when he figures things out, he’ll do whatever it takes to get her back to him

Next time, Hades asks Zelena to make chaos with him, David’s evil twin comes back and holds Emma and Robin hostage.

I Am Cait

Cait comes to Kris’s hotel room. She’s getting ready to leave and Cait asks if she has a minute. Kris says it was interesting meeting everyone. She says she’s had some of her friends her entire life and always wondered why “Bruce” never had friends. Cait says she never felt like she fit in anywhere.

Kris says she’s glad Cait is finding happiness, but a lot of sad stuff is going on at home. She gives a list of all the rich people problems the girls have. Some of it involves illness, but all I can think is at least they can afford medical treatment.

Kris says Cait kind of checks out. She says she’s the greatest when she’s present, but when there’s a disconnect, it’s a nightmare. Cait says she doesn’t want to check out on their time together and Kris says she doesn’t want Cait disconnecting from the kids. She says when Kim brought over some of the clothes Cait was getting rid of, it was a sad moment.

Cait tells Kris about her new driver’s license. It says Caitlyn Marie Jenner and the gender says female. Cait says you can go all the way back to your birth certificate and Cait has done that. Kris asks if this means Bruce never exited and she was never married to him? Interesting.

Cait says going forward from here, she would always want Kris in her life, and apologizes for the difficulty and keeping things private. Kris says she understands how frustrating it must have been. Cait says that although their relationship will be different, it will be important. Cait jokes that maybe they can renew their vows someday. Kris asks if she gets another diamond, and Cait says she’ll want one too. They agree it could get complicated and expensive.

Kris says she understands Caitlyn’s journey much better now. They say good-by.

Candis and Kate meet for breakfast. Candis says she had cocktails with Kris the night before and was led down a dark path, which is why she’s wearing sunglasses at breakfast. Kate asks if Candis would like a family. Kate says to be open to different ways it can happen and that she doesn’t need a man. Candis says she has a lot of things gong on and she’d make a great parent, so why wait?

The girls go to a shellfish boil and pardon one of the crayfish. Cait tells the rest of the girls how the talk went with Kris. She toasts to a happy Thanksgiving, so I guess it must be Thanksgiving. Jenny brings out a zither and does a song for the group.

Jenny says Cait has changed throughout the trip. She’s taken responsibility for her mistakes and made a lot of growth. She hopes it doesn’t end when the trip is over.

Kris sends a gingerbread house to Cait. Jenny is impressed. Jenny is meeting her friend, Marci Bowers, a doctor who does gender confirmation surgery (also called genital reassignment) and is also a trans woman. Jenny says she’s never regretted having the surgery, but Cait says she’s uncomfortable with the topic. Jenny thinks Cait makes excuses and needs to find her truth and the words to express that truth. They discuss the surgery and different people’s feelings about it. Jenny suggests Cait talk to Marci.

Cait and Candis go golfing. Cait asks if Candis had fun on the trip. Candis says yes, and it made her think about family. She says that seeing Cait’s love of family made an impression on her. Cait says Candis should look into adoption.

Cait says the last few months have been enlightening, but gender confirmation surgery still makes her feel uncomfortable. She’s nervous about meeting Marci.

Jenny brings Marci to meet Cait. Marci says all she does is match up the physical with the mental. She says that probably only 20% of transgenders get it done because of the expense. Cait asks about the sexual experience and Marci says most are able to achieve orgasm. Thank you for answering that, because I wondered. She says it’s still the same music, but a different instrument. Jenny asks about those who aren’t sure. Marci says it’s personal and a lot of transgenders choose not to have it and are just as happy. Cait says she’s going to ponder it.

Cait goes with Candis to meet an attorney to discuss adoption. The attorney explains the different types of adoption. She says it’s the hardest to adopt overseas because you have to adhere to the laws of both countries. She suggests either independent or foster adoption. She says it will probably take more effort than it would if she was a 40-year-old heterosexual couple, but it could be done.

Chandi comes for dinner with Cait and Candis. Candis tells her about seeing the lawyer. She says she can handle the idea of not being with someone or being rejected by a guy, but doesn’t think she can handle rejection from office buildings, government and potential mothers. She says she’s been living her life as a trans woman for so long, she never thinks about it, but other people do. Both Chandi and Cait think she should go for it anyway. Chandi says she should go into it with an open mind and not think about the obstacles.

Scott and Cait go to get a Christmas tree. Scott says who better than a Jew to go Christmas tree shopping with?

Cait says one thing she learned on the trip was that she has the ability to check out and we flash back to her sort of ignoring Scott. Cait asks how Scott is doing with the holiday season. He says it’s difficult because he has no parents and he doesn’t know how it’s going with Kourtney, but he doesn’t want people inviting him out of pity.

Scott and Cait pick out a tree. Scott says this is the reason being a Jew is better — a menorah is much lighter. They put the tree in Cait’s place. The smoke alarm is beeping and she’s just been living with the beeping. Scott gets up on a stepladder and checks all of the alarms. Scott says when Cait was Bruce, she was angry and cut off, but now she’s a more open, happy person. It’s even obvious to me, and I only saw a handful of episodes of Keeping Up with the Kardashians.

Kris drops by with Christmas cookies. Candis is there too. Kris says a guy came barreling into her office with a backpack and asked for a hug and a kiss. This is with security guards all over the place. He told her he had to go pay his Uber driver and she called security. She says he’s in jail now, but he’d been looking for her all over the house. Cait says half the time she didn’t even know the names of the people hanging around the house and Kris jokes that those were her children.

They decorate the tree and go through the various family stockings. Candis tells Kris about the adoption thing and how it has to be disclosed that she’s a trans woman and she feels discouraged. Kris says it’s discouraging in general, and gives examples of how it’s tough for many women. Candis says it’s not a trans thing, it’s a human thing, adding that sometimes you have to figure out how to move on and change your expectations. Kris tells her that she’d make a wonderful mother and she should go ahead with the plan

Next time, Cait goes on a ski trip, Cait and Candis kiss, and Jenny and Cait get into the Republican thing again.

Fear the Walking Dead

Some kids are on the beach collecting shells when zombies start to come out of the water. Since the kids are really stupid, they leave their shells by the fence holding back the zombies. Is this some kind of offering?

Madison tells Nick he almost got himself killed in the water. Travis has looked at the log book from the other ship and tells Victor there is no more San Diego. The military burned it down. Victor has seen a large vessel following them and says they have to hide. He shows them a cove on the map.

Travis hunts down Chris, which isn’t hard since they’re on a boat. He says they’ll be safer where they’re going, but Chris isn’t convinced.

It’s nighttime, and Madison sees a light on in a house. They dock at the pier nearby. Victor stays on the boat, while the others go ashore. Everything looks dark in the village, but Travis thinks they’re just scared. He calls out saying they just need information and they’re not sick or a threat. They just need help.

A door opens and one of the kids from the beach comes out. His father calls him back and says he’s just excited to see people. Madison says they saw a light and the father says it was an accident. Travis introduces himself and the father says his name is George. Travis says they just need to get their bearings and they’ll be gone; there’s nothing to fear from them. Well, yeah, the name of the show isn’t Fear the Living. Although maybe it should be.

Travis looks at George’s library and George says he’s welcome to take something. Travis says he doesn’t have time for it now, but George says he has nothing but time. He tells Travis napalm is being used up and doewn the coast. He says that San Diego was burned and the border has been shut to the south. He says the interior is not better than the coast, and basically half the country is gone.

Madison talks to George’s wife, Melissa, and they compare educational degrees. Madison talks about being a teacher. The older son, Seth, comes in and Melissa introduces them.

Back on the boat Ofelia asks Daniel if they’re going to stay. Daniel says they’d have to be invited. Daniel says this isn’t the world she was supposed to know, but she says understanding this world helps her understand him. She says it’s cruel. Ouch!

Harry asks Nick if he wants to see his room. Nick asks Chris if he wants to come. Chris says no thanks and Nick tells him he doesn’t have to, but it’s better to be with people. Nick sees a bunch of action figures with red dots on their foreheads. Nick asks what’s up with that and Harry says that’s what happens now when people are sick.

Victor wonders what’s taking so long, and Daniel says it’s not like they’re in a hurry. Daniel is concerned about being left behind, but Victor says he wouldn’t have taken them in the first place if that’s what he was going to do.

George tells Travis the world couldn’t sustain itself and this is course correction. He says he’s been studying Travis’s culture for a long time and talks about New Zealand. Travis asks if it’s okay if they spend the night.

Travis tells Madison that George thinks this is all part of nature’s plan. Madison says he’s intense and Melissa grilled her about her job. She thinks that the light was shone on purpose, even though George said it was an accident.

Nick and Alicia are on the boat. Nick says the best thing about the apocalypse is no noise pollution. Nick talks about how the kids have seen too much already and how things will never be normal for them. He says something is off here and Alicia says something is off everywhere.

Chris skulks around a lighthouse and sees Seth with a pickax. He asks Seth what he’s doing and Seth tells him chores and he can help if he wants to. They go down to the beach and Seth says they’re doing maintenance. He goes to the fence where the zombies are and whacks one in the head. He asks if Chris wants a turn.

Travis is looking for Chris. Nick tells him if he wants help, just ask. Chris is busy taking his turn at whacking zombies and it’s like he’s been doing this his entire life. Seth says they’ll come back again before dinner. Chris asks if the zombies can climb, and Chris says they’re pretty clumsy and he hasn’t seen evidence of it. Travis comes down to the beach and Seth tells him that Chris is a pro. Chris whacks one more zombie and Travis doesn’t look too happy about it.

Travis tells George he has a problem by the fence line, but George says Seth manages it and they go down once a week to get rid of the bodies. Travis says his son used to take out the garbage and mow the lawn. George tells him this is how they manage now and asks Travis to take a ride with him.

They go to the shore where George is fixing the fence. Travis asks why they stay there. George says he saw the map and knows the truth. Travis asks how he can give up, but George says he’s not, he’s fixing the fence.

Alicia wanders around an old amusement boardwalk. She’s wearing an iPod which is probably a bad idea. She signs a bird watching tour list. In the meantime, Nick scours the house for drugs. He finds something inside of a globe. Harry’s sister, Willa, comes in and asks him to come and draw with her.

Victor tells Daniel he’s hanging over him like the spectre of death. Victor sees that whoever was following them is gone and says they’re sailing with the tide.

Madison helps Melissa pick some peppers (not a pint of pickled ones). Madison says they’ll be leaving soon. She asks Melissa about the light and if it was an accident. Melissa says it was a mistake, but Madison asks if she was signaling them. Melissa says she saw them from the pier and had a strange sense of hope. She thought Willa and Harry might have a chance if they wouldn’t there. Madison says she thought the island was safe. Melissa says they’re just biding their time until it’s over. Madison asks if she wants to come along, but Melissa says she has MS and would end up being a burden, but she wants them to take Harry and Willa.

Madison talks to Travis, who tells her George is just keeping his family safe. Madison says that where they go next might be safer. He doesn’t want to take George’s kids on Melissa’s say-so, and Madison says what about hers? He says he’ll talk to George.

Daniel is looking all over the boat and finds a knapsack, along with a map and gun that are locked away. Victor is on the phone (?) and says it’s all clear and when’s the latest? He repeats sundown and says he’ll be there.

Nick is obviously distressed and Madison asks what’s wrong. Nick tells her and Travis he thinks George is going to “Jonestown” his family and tells him about the pills he found. He says he knows his pharmaceuticals, and they aren’t recreational; they’re poison.

Melissa tells Madison the kids will be down in a minute. She told them they’re going on a boat ride for a few days. George walks in while Melissa is explaining the kids’ different needs. He asks what’s going on and she says she can’t look at them every day, knowing there’s no future. Harry says something is wrong with Willa.

They go upstairs to find the little girl near death. Harry says she took her pill. Good job, George. She’s a zombie now and just bit Melissa. George makes Travis leave. They all run back to the boat with Harry. He asks what happened to Willa and Nick says she got sick.

Victor says children are dead weight and wants Madison to leave Harry. She says he doesn’t get to decide who lives and dies, and he begs to differ. Seth is suddenly on the boat with a gun and wants to bring Harry home. Madison tells him to come with them, but he gets aggressive and takes Harry. He tells Madison she caused this. What? The apocalypse? As they leave, they see zombie Melissa on the pier. Seth tells Harry to keep waving at the boat. (Just look at the flowers, Harry.) Seth shoots Melissa as the boat departs.

Next time, a possible trip to Mexico, lots of zombies and Nick gets into trouble.

The Real Housewives of Potomac

When I tuned in, both Ray and Michael were on stage and there was butt grabbing talk within 10 seconds. Apparently, Gizelle had inferred Michael was gay when he’s really just a flamboyant Australian, and Gizelle acted like the gay thought never even came into her head. Next.

When the men leave, they talk about Gizelle’s dating. Zzzzzz….

Moving on to Katie making out with her boyfriend at Ashley’s party. Gizelle claims she just asked if Katie was “on something” out of concern, and I laugh my head off. The only thing that woman is concerned about is herself. Katie says the only thing she was on was Andrew. Ha-ha!

Katie points out that Gizelle is the common denominator in many argumentative situations. Gizelle threatens to tell everyone what was edited out from some scene. I wonder if Andy is crapping his pants, since it’s probably something they’re going to use in Secrets Revealed. Gizelle says she doesn’t like when people aren’t adults and now would be the time to show how she acted at Charrisse’s house before the crab boil, but it doesn’t happen. We do get to see her talking about drinking some tea that makes her poop though. Gizelle accuses Katie of being drunk and peeing on the couch during some photo shoot. Katie says she wasn’t drunk, but she’s had three kids. Fair enough.

At this point, I’m wondering why I even bothered with the second half of this show.

In wrapping it up, Andy asks if everyone enjoyed the season. Charrisse’s husband isn’t talking to her any more, Karen and Ashley learned a lot about themselves, and Gizelle says the word on the street is that this was the best thing ever on television. She’s obviously the most delusional of the bunch. Karen toasts to moving forward in peace.

And I toast to this excruciating show being over.

Shahs of Sunset

Last we left the Shahs, there was a lot of cake throwing going on at Shervin’s yacht party.

GG wakes up at Shervin’s house, no doubt with a wicked hangover. Yep, she has one, and doesn’t even remember getting back. She asks Shervin if he had fun. He says he wasn’t expecting to feel this way and there was a lot of anger. Shervin tells her she’s not dealing with her anger in a positive way, which is the understatement of the year.

Mike is giving real estate a break and focusing on building a shoe empire. He wants Jessica to see his vision. Since she’s from a priviledged background, and he feels as the breadwinner, he needs to create more wealth. The shoes are pretty dope, but there’s a lot of footwear competition out there.

Asa comes over to Reza’s place. They discuss the party and GG. Reza brings up when GG attacked Asa in Mexico. He says they need rules and consequences. They discuss seeing Mike again. Reza says it was the first time they were able to get together with him and Jessica and have everything be copacetic.

MJ joins them. Reza says that he mentioned to Asa that he’d like her to get ordained so she can officiate at the wedding. He wants the four of them to go to lunch and have the meal turn into an impromptu wedding. MJ is like, no. She says it’s Adam’s wedding too, but Asa thinks he’ll be okay with it and that it’s romantic. MJ says he’ll want it to be an “us” thing and it’s Reza’s solution to standing him up last time. In her individual interview, MJ says they need to heal their wounds from the last time before the next wedding.

MJ brings her mom’s dog, Ziggy, to the pet stylist. Seriously, it says stylist, not groomer. She wants Ziggy done in hot pink and black, “the colors of a cheetah.” Okay…

Asa’s father and brother have been hired for the shipping department of her caftan business. She says the business is exploding and she wants to set up a future for her family. She says the idea of a family business is great, but in reality, it’s not so great. Believe me, I know. I once worked for a family business (not my own) and it was pure hell. It looks like dad wants to take more coffee breaks than do work.

MJ lied to her mother, telling her Tommy was just a friend. They’re going to pick up Ziggy and MJ wants him to go with her and her mother to dinner. OMG — Ziggy! She has pink and black cheetah print on her legs and the rest of her looks normal. MJ says maybe she should have thought this out more. Um, yeah.

Adam and Asa go for a walk. Asa says that he and Reza call her every morning at different times to give her their sides of the story. Adam isn’t sure if he and Reza should make another attempt at marriage. He says there’s been growth in the relationship, but he’s concerned Reza will call it quits again. Asa asks about getting married and Adam says he’s hesitant.

MJ and Tommy take Ziggy to the restaurant where they’re meeting MJ’s mom. Ziggy is wearing a Louis Vuitton harness. MJ’s mom, Vida, joins them and it takes her a minute to realize what’s happened to Ziggy. She’s pretty miffed, but gets over it quickly, which is a mystery to me since she’s the worst. Oh, I see, she just wants to move on to belittling MJ. She tells MJ she hasn’t lost any weight, which is so not true. She says Tommy is a bad influence with MJ’s eating. Tommy says MJ looks great and Vida doesn’t think he should have an opinion. This is when MJ lays it on Vida that they’re dating.

Tommy says Vida is her mother, she’s not going to marry her. Vida says he’s not a good match. She can tell because she has a gift for that. More like she has a gift for being obnoxious. As they leave the restaurant, Vida gripes at MJ about wearing V-necks because they make her boobs look huge. Silly me, I thought that was the point.

Jessica and Mike go to a smoothie place. Twenty-seven bucks for two smoothies? You’ve got to be kidding. Jessica tells Mike they’re terrible with money, which seems ironic since the smoothies were her idea. She says they need to get a house and Mike has some nasty stuff on his credit. Jessica says they have two incomes now, but what’s going to happen when she gets pregnant? She asks about the new business and wonders if it’s worth the investment, but he says he has to take a risk and together they’ll build an empire. Good luck with that.

Reza and Adam arrive at Asa’s for dinner. She has her patio totally decked out and it looks beautiful. MJ and Tommy arrive next. Asa thinks they’re perfect for one another. Wow. It’s a lot of food for five people. They talk about the party and Asa says GG has hit rock bottom. She also thinks GG needs help, but MJ says they should be telling GG this.

GG goes to a club with Shervin and his brother. I think it’s his brother. He’s always around and looks like Shervin. Do I need to mention there’s a lot of drinking happening?

MJ goes in the kitchen with Adam to refresh her drink. MJ tells him he’s with an alpha male and needs to have his voice heard. She thinks Reza needs ot be challenged and agrees with Adam that they should pace themselves. Adam says the thing that bugs him is that when Reza is ready for something, he just expects everyone else to jump on board.

When MJ gets back to the table, Asa brings out a birthday cake for her. Asa asks what her wish is, and MJ says she wants to reach out to GG. Asa says they have to get to the bottom of whatever GG’s problem is.

GG wants to leave. Shervin asks her what’s wrong. She says she’s tired. Well, she’s drunk, but I think a lot of her problem is the arthritis.

Reza and Adam go to a dessert place and I’m wondering why the clerk has two circles tattooed or drawn on his neck. They get some soft serve and talk about how they need more space housewise. Reza thinks they should make a plan of getting a new place and getting married. Adam says he feels like Reza forgets there are two people in the relationship. When Reza asks how he feels about marriage, Adam tells him that he made something that was special to him feel not so special. I dunno. I think if someone left me at the altar, we’d be done.

Adam says he loves Reza and wants to be with him, but he called off the wedding. He says sometimes he has to second guess what’s going on and he doesn’t want that. Reza says today would have been their one year anniversary and what does he need ot do for Adam to trust him. Adam says a start would be to remember he’s an equal and he doesn’t want to discuss the one year thing.

Next time, Mike and Reza have a talk, MJ walks out on lunch with GG, and MJ creates a problem for Reza.

April 13, 2016 — GH, Little LA, Little Family & a Lotta NYC

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & recaps from today’s real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Carrrlos has been shot.

Michael asks Carly what they should say to Morgan about Sonny. Carly wants to see how he’s doing first.

Kiki video chats with Morgan and shows him her wound. She says she’ll never wear a bikini again and will have to make up a story about being in a knife fight, because the truth, which most likely made the front page, isn’t interesting enough. She’s getting out of the hospital today.

Julian and Alexis are relaxing at the bar. Alexis is happy about coming to an understanding with Kristina. She says as progressive as she thinks she is, she was caught off guard and didn’t react well. She says meeting with Parker was over-the-top, but beneficial. Alexis worries about how Sonny will handle it.

Jordan finds what Paul’s telling her about Anna difficult to believe. Paul says Carrrlos was unarmed when Anna shot him. Jordan remembers Anna saying something about the truth coming out and asks Paul how he knows all this. Paul says Anna’s the one who told him.

Sonny is about to shoot Carrrlos again, when Anna asks what he’s doing. He says getting justice for Duke. No, no, no, Sonny. That was not the agreement.

Morgan asks how Kiki is doing. She says despite her overreaction when the orderly dropped the tray, she’s doing well. Ava comes in and so does Carly on Morgan’s end, so they hang up. Ava tells Kiki that she’s getting discharged. Kiki says she’s looking forward to a new view. She says she wants to go home and live with Ava and Avery.

Julian talks about Lucas coming out to him and gives Sonny the benefit of the doubt. Alexis says something about Julian getting out of the mob and he practically chokes on his drink. She goes to see if their table is ready, and Julian’s phone rings. It’s Hammer. Isn’t there a Hammer in 13 Ghosts?

Jordan wonders why Anna would have told Paul anything. He says he thought it was the confession of a guilty mind. He says he has no intention of pressing charges, but just wants to get Anna back home. He leaves and Jordan leaves Anna a voicemail to call her immediately. As she’s about to leave, Andre is on the porch and asks if Anna is in trouble. Jordan says she thinks so, but he probably already knew that.

Sonny prattles on about everything bad Carrrlos has ever done. He says if he doesn’t kill him, his position is weakened. Anna says Sonny doesn’t give a damn about justice. He says it’s personal and good business. Anna says what about Julian. Sonny says he’ll get his too. Anna says Duke was the man she loved and they’re doing it her way.

Carly says Morgan seems more upbeat. He says he doesn’t have a choice since it’s mental health 24/7 there. Carly asks how the meds adjustment is going and Morgan says he thinks they’re getting closer and he feels less stoned. Carly says Sonny went through that and BTW, Sonny won’t be making it today. She tells Morgan about Sonny going after Carrrlos in South America.

Sonny says he doesn’t take orders from Anna. Anna says her business is justice and she’s tried her whole life to uphold the law, but abandoned it when she shot Carrrlos. She says she’s done sacrificing her principles and Carrrlos has to face charges. Sonny says what if he doesn’t agree and Anna says then he’ll have to kill her too. She says he might think it’s futile, but bringing Duke’s killer to justice is the last thing she can do for the man she loves. She asks Sonny to be a gentleman and let her do that. Sonny steps away and Anna handcuffs Carrrlos.

Andre says he was there earlier and Anna was acting strange, so he came back to check on her. Jordan tells him about the arrest warrant.

Paul comes to the hospital. Dillon sees him and says Tracy is asleep. Paul says he’s not there for a visit. Dillon asks what’s up with his wrist and Paul says he’s there to get it looked at. Dillon asks what happened.

Kiki tells Ava she felt they were making progress before she got shot and the nurses have told her how Ava has been looking after her. Ava says how wonderful it feels to hear her say that. Kiki say she wants to be a family with her mother and sister, but Ava says she can’t.

Julian tells Hammer they need to set up a meeting. Alexis comes back and asks what’s up with the phone call. Julian says it’s work related. She says she overheard the word “trouble,” and got angina, and asks what’s going on with the business. Julian says there’s something she doesn’t know and it’s time for him to confess.

Morgan says he wishes he could help, but he knows that’s not what Sonny wants and it’s best he stays away from the business altogether. He says there’s no point in worrying about what he can’t fix and he just wants to get back to his life and Kiki.

Ava tells Kiki she wouldn’t be safe. Kiki asks if Avery is in danger and Ava says she’s been staying with Sonny. Kiki asks how much trouble Ava is in. Ava says some people are unhappy with her because of her involvement with law enforcement.

Alexis asks if the truth is going to jeopardize their life together. Julian says he hopes not and tells her about what happened with Crimson and how Nina ended up with complete control. Alexis says what Julian did is probably unethical, but not against the law; still, he did the right thing. Alexis says she has to admit when she heard the word trouble, she thought he was back with the mob.

The padre wakes up and Sonny explains what’s going on. Anna sterilizes Carrrlos’s wound. She says she wants him to be totally healthy when he stands trial. Carrrlos says she shot him in cold blood and asks if she thinks this will make up for it. Anna says the sooner they can get out of there the better.

Sonny tells Carrrlos he owes Anna his life. Carrrlos says she’s going to be disappointed because he’s going to walk. Sonny says he’s going to die one way or the other. He disrespected Sonny and now he’s going to pay with his life. Sonny, a man of cliches.

Jordan tells Andre what Anna did to Paul. Andre has a hard time believing it. He says as vengeful as she seems against Carrrlos, he doesn’t think she could kill him. Jordan tells him about Anna shooting Carrrlos. She adds that clearly, it isn’t news to him.

Morgan says at first, he thought the pills would fix everything, but once he understood he also had to pull his own weight, he felt better. Carly says everyone is proud of him and loves him. She says she talked to his doctor though, and there’s still more work to do, and he needs to focus on more than just getting out. Morgan says he’s supposed to set goals and that’s what he’s doing. He says everyone needs to stop telling him how to feel. In her quest to keep it real, Carly has become a wet blanket.

Kiki says she thought something was going on between Paul and Ava. Ava says it was only business, but not business she wanted to be involved in. She says she hopes Julian can help set things right and that Kiki should focus on her recovery. She suggests Kiki move back in with Franco.

Dillon asks how Paul got hurt. Paul says it was a refresher course in defense. Paul tells Dillon it’s time to start focusing on his own life and find a girl. Dillon says he’s finally got a great job and Tracy is doing better, so he has everything he needs right now. He’s also glad that Paul is acting like a dad and Paul says he’s thrilled to be one.

Andre says as a professional, he’s learned not to react, and he’s just trying to process things, but Jordan says she thinks he’s hiding something. She says she needs to know if Anna shared anything with him as a patient.

Back on the plane, Sonny tells Carrrlos to shut up or he’ll knock his teeth out. Anna says she has chloroform if he needs it. Ha-ha! They’re ready to leave, but the guard comes in and says they’re not going anywhere — except maybe to jail for assault.

Andre says he’s a doctor and he takes his oath seriously. He says his allegiance is to his patient and that includes confidentiality.

Anna apologizes, but says they had an urgent matter and that Carrrlos is wanted in the US. Sonny concurs and the guard says Robert already called him, so he knows they’re telling the truth. However, no matter what the US government has to say, he doesn’t like being assaulted. Carrrlos tries to act like they should stick together, but the guard tells him the only place he’s going is jail. Sonny brings up some bigwig’s name, saying he does a lot of business with him, and all is forgiven. When the guard leaves, Anna asks Sonny if they know what kind of business he does with the bigwig and he says probably not. Neither do I. Since we’re never told exactly what it is that Sonny does.

Morgan says Kiki needs him. Carly says the doctors are helping her recover and that’s what Morgan needs to do. Morgan says Kiki is gong home today and that’s what he needs to do — go home.

Kiki is ready to leave and sees Dillon. She says he’s that guy from Halloween and mentions the infamous sizzle reel. He says that’s a bad first impression and introduces himself. He says he’d like to apologize. She says for what, a bad video? He says no, that his dad is Paul. She says it’s not necessary, she has the same deal with her mother, and he’s not responsible for what his dad does. She says she won’t ask him about his dad if he doesn’t ask her about her mother. There’s a somewhat loud sound and Kiki freaks a little and crouches down.

Carly says if Kiki is going home it’s because her doctors decided that, not her, and Morgan has to wait for his doctors to give the okay. Michael says he won’t do Kiki any good if he leaves too soon and has another episode.

Like Kiki is having right now. She tells Dillon now he knows her secret, she’s a big chicken. Ava comes back and tells Kiki to get back in the hospital rule wheelchair and wheels her out.

Andre says he’s told Jordan everything he can. She says the conversation is over then, and she has to get back. She tells him if he hears from Anna, to let her know that Jordan needs to talk to her asap.

After he leaves, Andre calls Anna’s voicemail. He tells her to call him right away when she gets the message.

Paul tells Julian about Carrrlos being brought back to Port Charles. He says he understands that Carrrlos is a new father and might not want to spend too much time in jail. He says Carrrlos might turn on his former boss. Julian acts clueless. Paul says he might want to get his ducks in a row in case he wants to take care of anything.

Carrrlos tells Anna it’s not too late to let him vanish along with what he knows. He says she could get arrested too. She says she’s okay with whatever happens next, as long as he pays. Sonny says he will. Anna has his word on it.

Tomorrow, Sonny and Anna come home, Jason is going to make a big step, and Dante wants to know what the hell is going on.

Little Women: LA

Jasmine and Terra are out for a walk and discussing working out. Jasmine asks Terra how she’s doing after the line-dancing incident. Terra says the Christy thing has blown up into epic proportions. They discuss how Briana can’t give a straight answer on whether she wants to still be friends with Terra or not. Jasmine says Briana is a proud person and it’s hard for her to admit when she’s wrong.

Terra asks how being the maid of honor is going for Jasmine. Jasmine says with Briana everything seems to be last minute. Terra tells Jasmine she should encourage Briana to invite her family, but Jasmine thinks enough is going on already.

Briana is meeting with Sue Wong for her dress fitting. I love the dress, but Elena thinks it doesn’t fit that great. She tells Briana it’s a lot, especially if she’s going to wear jewelry. She says she wants Briana to look sophisticated, not like a girl playing dress up.

They talk about the guest list. Briana knows she doesn’t want Terra or Tonya there, but she’s feeling badly about Christy, especially since she was in Christy’s wedding party. The last time they got together, it didn’t go well though, and she doesn’t want drama at her wedding.

Christy tells her mother she has no idea if she’s invited to the wedding. She hasn’t gotten an invite yet and really wants to go since she and Briana were once best friends. Christy thinks since she poured her heart out to Briana, this should make them square. Her mom suggests she just ask, but Christy doesn’t want to ask a question where “no” might be the answer.

Todd says Matt called him. He says they’ve moved past their differences and he understands where Christy is coming from. Matt wants to invite them and surprise Briana. Christy is nervous that Briana won’t know and I think it’s a really bad idea. Christy says what if she doesn’t want them there.

Tonya is seeing a specialist about a weak muscle in her eye that causes her to see double. She wants to get it corrected so she can get Lasik surgery. The specialist thinks it should be the other way around and she wants to get a third opinion. Two out of three.

Terra asks about Kerwin. Tonya says she knows he loves her, but she’s tired of hearing he’s scared to commit. She wants to tell him to either take the leap or move on. Terra wonders if Tonya could move on, but Tonya says the circus is about to close down.

Elena and Terra go shopping. Elena has been working on her Little Palette makeup line, so they’re checking out the store. Terra asks Elena if she’s having a C-section. Elena wants to deliver naturally and Terra asks if she’s insane. She thinks any OB whose had experience with little people is going to tell her to have a C-section.

It’s wedding day! Briana and Jasmine are getting their makeup done. Briana is waiting for her friend, Lisa, who’s going to walk her down the aisle. Jasmine asks if Briana invited her family, and Briana says no. Jasmine hopes she doesn’t regret it later.

Jasmine shows Briana her dress. It’s black and Briana gets a little weird. Jasmine says she thought she was picking up a red dress and thats’ what she was given, so she thought Briana had changed the color. Briana says she wanted black and red, so I wonder if the other girl ended up with a red dress. In her individual interview, Jasmine says Briana only has herself to blame for the mix-up, since everything is so last minute. I’ll assume she’s right, since I’m confused as to what Briana is even talking about.

Tonya video chats with Kerwin. She says their yo-yo relationship is insane and he has to make a decision. She asks if he’s planning on moving out there and having a future with her. He asks if she’s in love with him. She says yes, and asks if he broke up with the woman he was living with. He says that’s over and he’s ready to have a committed relationship with her. Tonya says it’s taken 20+ years for them to figure things out. Check.

Jasmine says hopefully that’s the worst thing that will happen. In excellent timing, Christy is at the door. Briana is wondering what’s next. Christy tells her that Matt called Todd and that’s why she’s there. Briana says it’s an interesting morning and obviously Matt is coming from a good place. Christy says it’s her day and Briana helped her on her wedding day when she was a hot mess, so she wants to give some of that back. Christy says she’ll see her when she walks down the aisle and goes to join the guests.

Jasmine asks if Briana’s okay with this. Briana says maybe Christy will see things her way and want her to be happy. Jasmine is concerned about all the social media surrounding Christy. She says Christy is a people pleaser and she’s not sure about Christy’s motives. She doesn’t want Christy going back and forth with Briana anymore.

Elena is shocked that Christy is there with her mom and Todd. She asks if Briana knows she’s there and Christy says Matt invited them. Elena wonders if Matt invited anyone else Briana didn’t want there and tells Christy she hopes that’s the end of the surprises for today.

Actually the black dress seems to have worked out well with the other two attendants. Christy says without her and Todd, the place would be a ghost town and she’s hoping not inviting Briana’s family doesn’t put a bigger wedge between them.

Everyone is gorgeous walking down the aisle. We flash back to different scenes with Matt and Briana, and also some of the conflicts with the girls regarding Matt. Briana says they’ve been through a lot, but they’re even stronger now — and pregnant. She says with their kids there, it feels complete. I’m loving Briana’s fascinator headpiece and Matt looks dapper in his fedora.

They come to that part about if anyone objects to this union and looks are shot all over the place. Frankly, I don’t think they even say that anymore. It wasn’t included in my wedding and that was 30 years ago. The only time I’ve ever even heard it is on TV. They do the traditional vows and then recite the ones they’ve written for themselves. It’s very sweet. The rings are exchanged, they become husband and wife, and kiss.

Elena says if Matt makes Briana happy, she should go for it despite what anyone else says, and it’s the happiest she’s seen her in a long time.

Tonya and Terra are having a spa day and all mention of the wedding is off limits. Tonya tells Terra about her conversation with Kerwin. Terra says until she sees him rolling up in a U-Haul, she’s not going to believe it. She wonders if they shouldn’t do a trial run first. Tonya says she doesn’t have time in her life for goofing around and she’s ready to settle down.

The newlyweds are introduced at the reception, and they have their first dance. Christy says while she’s had her doubts, they’re very cute together and she hopes it will work out. Applause, applause.

Christy asks Elena to go for a walk. She says she’s grateful that Matt called them. Elena asks about Christy’s injury and if she’s pressing charges. Christy doesn’t want to talk about it and then says how hard it was and that she thought she was going to die. I dunno about all this. They showed the scene again at the beginning of the show, and while it looked like maybe the glass grazed the top of Christy’s cowboy hat, no way did it hit her in the head.

Christy tells Elena she had a concussion and that her vision is just coming back now. She gets all upset and starts wailing about the press. Elena asks how they found out. Christy says she doesn’t know. In her individual interview, Elena says it sounds a little suspicious that the press just suddenly discovered Christy in the hospital. Elena tells her not to worry and take care of her health.

The cake is awesome! It has two blackbirds on top of it, and red flowers on black branches throughout the icing. Matt and Briana make a little speech thanking the guests. Cake is eaten.

When Christy leaves, the paparazzi is waiting. Christy is all no comment. She doesn’t want it to ruin the wedding and she talks to the producers about getting them out of there. She asks for no cameras

Next week, Matt & Briana honeymoon, we see a sonogram of the twins, a baby shower happens for Elena, Christy and Terra finally cross paths, and Jasmine wants to rip Matt’s face off. It doesn’t look promising for the marriage.

Terra’s Little Family

Penny is going to her 8 month check-up. She also needs to be approved for her MRI. The MRI will tell them if she needs shunt surgery. The doctor says she’s a little anemic, but otherwise in good health and okay for the MRI.

Terra brings pizza home for dinner. Joe has been looking at RVs. He says they need a vacation. He says the last few months have been stressful on their relationship and it’s time for them to get away. To San Bernadino Mountain. Without Penny.

Terra says it can be Penny’s first camping trip, but Joe wants it to be like when they first got together. Terra asks if she’s going to get some on the trip. Joe makes jokes and Terra play smacks him.

Terra meets Elena for dinner. She wants some advice. She wants to know how to make things more romantic. She says Joe thinks she has an ulterior motive and is cutting off the resources. Elena suggests a trip and Terra tells her about the camping weekend. Elena doesn’t think that’s romantically productive. She tells Terra to just handcuff him to the bed, have her way with him and be done with it.

Elena makes up some funny role playing scenes. Terra says she has tons of costumes. They toast to being creative.

Joe and Terra look for an RV. These things are huge. Joe tells Terra no way she’s driving since he wants to get there alive. Terra wants the more luxurious model, but Joe wants to go for the more manageable one. They test the pedal extenders on the RV Terra likes, but Joe thinks it doesn’t look safe. Terra ends up giving in and they take the smaller one.

Terra isn’t looking forward to leaving Penny. Grandma Olivia is going to take care of her. Terra says she’s going to call repeatedly and Olivia says she’s going to ignore it. Joe is with Olivia in that they don’t need to check in every five minutes. Terra has a hard time saying good-by, but they finally get out the door.

Since she has to leave Penny, Terra insists on driving. Joe says a prayer.

Terra asks if she’s going to get some tonight. Joe says he needs to be wooed and asks if she brought any lingerie. Terra wants to call Olivia already, but Joe isn’t sure if they have reception. Joe says he also doesn’t want to piss off Olivia since she scares him. Terra makes the call. Olivia tells them to enjoy themselves and not call again.

They get to the campsite and put out some chairs. Joe makes the guy next to them out to be a mass murderer who knows they can’t run fast. Terra wants to call home again, but Joe says it’s for her own good that he’s siding with Olivia. He says they hired her to have an important role in their lives for a reason. Terra says Joe has spent nights away from Pennny and she hasn’t. Joe tells her to relax. Terra says she’ll try.

Joe suggests they go fishing. The lake is beautiful and so is the weather. Joe says some of his best memories are fishing trips with his dad. The fish aren’t biting, so they decide to go kayaking. Terra is in front and Joe isn’t rowing even though he claims to be.

It’s quite a project for them to make the bed in the RV. Terra says she’s never been a fan of bed making. I tend to agree, since it’s a reach for me too. They make chili and hot dogs for dinner. Terra says it’s like date night. Terra calls Olivia again. Olivia tells her she needs to learn to relax and not to call again. She says she’s going to change the phone number. Joe tells Terra she worries so much. Terra says being away from Penny makes her realize how much she wants a big family.

Joe says because Penny is so cool, he wants more kids too. He’s ready to start trying. He wants Penny to have a brother or sister. Penny says Joe makes her happy and they exchange I love yous.

Terra says she has a surprise for Joe. Terra goes into the RV and comes out in a sexy bear outfit with a hunter outfit for Joe. Joe says he can work with it. He tells her let’s go make a cub and they retire to the RV.

Joe makes breakfast. Terra brings out a stool. She wants to get on top of Tucker (the name of their RV) and try to get better reception on her phone. She calls Olivia, but there’s no answer. She warned them. Joe tells her breakfast is ready. He says Olivia said she wasn’t going to answer the phone. Terra tries calling again and decides she wants to go. She’s been calling all morning long and there’s been no answer.

Terra says her nerves are shot and Joe agrees to leave. He says even one day is a victory. Baby steps.

Olivia asks why they’re back and Terra asks why she didn’t answer the phone. Terra says she was flipping out. Olivia says they trusted her and there was no reason for her to be stressed out. Terra says it has nothing to do with trust, but communication. Terra says they’d discussed the communication and doesn’t think a few phone calls a day is asking too much. Olivia says she’s hurting her feelings and being disrespectful. Olivia storms off and Joe says Terra should have approached it differently. He says Olivia is offended that they would think Penny wasn’t safe with her.

Terra feels like Joe isn’t taking her side. She says they’re supposed to be co-parenting and Joe says he wasn’t going to be the third person acting like a fool.

Next week, Joe is challenged by the physical aspect of parenting, another surgery might be on the horizon, and having a second child is rethought.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Jules is making breakfast. She has an old-fashioned peculator. I assume her husband usually makes the coffee since she says she doesn’t know how and it can’t possibly be the first cup they’ve ever had. Next, Jules gets the kids ready and Michael takes one to school. Jules walks the other to pre-school or daycare or wherever.

Bethenny has a big birthday coming up and is getting a piece of jewelry designed. Dorinda meets her at the designer’s studio. Bethenny says she’s having  tailgate chic party in the Hamptons. She has fire pits she wants to use and has built the party around them. I understand. I’ve built outfits around a pair of earrings.

They talk about John and in her individual interview, Bethenny says not everybody has to like everybody’s boyfriend. She wonders why Dorinda has to push John’s greatness on them and what they don’t know about him.

Carole shows up. She tells them about her lunch with Ramona. Dorinda thinks she’s a good person, but Bethenny says every time she let’s Ramona in, she gets burned. We find out that Dorinda uses Nair on John’s back. In graphic detail. Blerg.

Sonja and the Countess are hanging out at Sonja’s place. The Countess is ready to settle down and would like to get married again. Sonja says she and the Countess are in a different place, whereas Ramona is just starting to date. The Countess says she’s been seeing quite a bit of Bethenny and says Carole is up Bethenny’s “anus.” Oh, that’s right, Carole is dating the niece’s ex-boyfriend and the Countess doesn’t like that.

They move on to Dorinda for a second and then Sonja talks about saging her kitchen. I mean burning the spice, not cooking with it. Does that help you to cook better? Out, Guy Fieri demons! Out!

Dorinda visits Ramona. Ramona got the apartment in her settlement and she’s redecorated. She says you’d never know Mario was ever there. Snap. Dorinda talks about it being time for her daughter to move out and how she’d like some time to herself before having John move in.

They sit down to lunch. Dorinda is having a lingerie party. They talk about most women not knowing their correct bra size, which is true.

Carole meets Bethenny for dinner. Bethenny asks how it’s going with Adam. Carole says it’s been a year. Bethenny asks if they’re in love, but Carole says she doesn’t say that. She says Adam wants things like children. She says she has five good summers left while he has twenty. Not meaning she’s going to be dead, but she might be at another place in her life. Bethenny asks about Carole’s friendship with the Countess and if it’s irreparable. Carole says the Countess has been trashing her on social media and she should worry more about who she’s sleeping with and less about who Carole is sleeping with. Bethenny says she doesn’t know if the Countess is as in control as she thinks she is. She says she was out of control over the summer, meaning more than just partying. She says things always seem calculated and there are strings attached to everything. Carole says she’s never seen someone so completely clueless about who they are and she’s not interested in a friendship.

Dorinda goes to John’s cleaning establishment. She is wearing amazkingly humongous earrings that look like a piece of chain-mail. She’s getting some dry cleaning things done and says she’ll meet John after the lingerie party.

Bethenny and Ramona talk about the lingerie party. Ramona wonders if she should tell Dorinda about what John said behind her back. He was talking inappropriately about their sex life to some friends of Ramona’s. She isn’t sure how Dorinda would feel about it, but wants her to be aware of it. Bethenny talks again about how Dorinda pushes John on them.

Lots of nighttime NYC shots tonight. Dorinda goes to the space where they’re having the party. It’s a cute set up, with hors d’oevres and displays of the merchandise. It turns out Bethenny rented the same place for one of her birthday parties.

Jules touches some shrimp by accident and puts her hands in the ice bucket for purification because she’s kosher. Unfortunately, she doesn’t tell anyone, and they continue to use the same ice bucket for the drinks. Jules gets introduced to Carole. In her individual interview, Carole says Jules seems problematically thin, which is what Bethenny had said when they met.

Dorinda gives a bra speech. She says the bra experts can measure women just by looking at them and has the girls write down what they think their size is. It actually looks like fun. Dorinda says that the Countess said she’ll see her at Bethenny’s birthday party. Bethenny says the Countess is RSVPing and she hasn’t even been invited yet. Somehow Ramona makes it all about her with Carole and whines about how Carole didn’t call her over the summer when she was going through the divorce. Carole says she saw Ramona a bunch of times and even took her out to lunch when she had her book published.

Dorinda says something about not pretending and Bethenny takes this as a cue to tell Dorinda that she feels the need to sell John to them. She tells Dorinda about John pitching her business ideas and asking for her number when Dorinda wasn’t around. Dorinda says if he crossed a line, she’ll definitely put a stop to that. Dorinda says if Bethenny wants to believe she sells John, fine, but she chooses to have him in her life and too bad if anyone doesn’t like him.

Ramona chooses now to pipe up, since they’re “letting it all out.” (In her individual interview, Bethenny is saying, “Abort! Abort!” Ha-ha!) Ramona tells Dorinda about John telling her friends about sex with her, but Dorinda isn’t believing it. She says even if it’s true, she should talk to her on the side about it. Dorinda says she married someone, she buried someone, she pays her bills and she can do what she wants. She tells everyone to stop the bs, but Bethenny calls her on her bs. She says that Dorinda talks about not drinking over the summer when she practically had to be carried out of somewhere.

Dorinda gets a glass of wine and when she comes back, says she’s not staying with Ramona this weekend. Ramona says if nothing is wrong, why is Dorinda reacting this way. Dorinda says she wouldn’t bring up Ramona’s Mario problems in front of everyone.

Dorinda says she considered Ramona one of her best friends. Bethenny says Dorinda should be more mad at her. Dorinda says with Bethenny, it’s just her perception, but with Ramona, it’s a personal thing, since they’ve been friends a long time.

The bra experts suggest they get down to business and Dorinda steps outside.

Next week, the argument continues, John shows up to escalate things, the Countess looks at apartments, and Jules’s husband gets a load of what it’s like to be on reality TV.