Tag Archives: Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

June 13, 2019 – Willow Is Served, Runway Winner, Changes, an Interview, Custody Question, Wives From New York, Bad Caroline & Icy Friday

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

I did it again. Several of my dogs need special (i.e. expensive from the vet) food, and you wouldn’t believe what lunchtime entails. But I digress. I missed the beginning, but it wasn’t much.

Shiloh went to visit Harmony in the clink.

Julian, Sonny, and Brad met outside Kelly’s.

Ryan and Nelle introduced themselves, both of them saying they thought they had recognized the other.

Nelle tells Ryan, welcome to Pentonville. It’s not as bad as they say – it’s worse.

Lulu meets a guy at Kelly’s, who introduces himself as Mark. She says she’s new to this, and he looks exactly like his picture. He says, so does she, which doesn’t always happen. He says his sister twisted his arm, and said if he didn’t make a dating profile, she’d do for him. He must sound like a hopeless nerd. Lulu says no, but she’s guessing academics. He says he’s an associate professor of physics at PCU. No tender yet, but that’s the goal. Lulu says she wasn’t big with school, which is ironic, considering she makes her living as a writer.

Julian tells Sonny and Brad that Lucas was desperate to protect Wiley. He’s the last person Lucas would ask for help, but he did anyway. He guarantees he won’t fail. Sonny says he feels the same way. Julian says if Sonny wants to eliminate Shiloh, he wants in.

Harmony asks Shiloh if he’s sure Willow’s baby is still alive. Shiloh says Mercy hospital confirmed that Willow had a healthy baby boy last July; seven months after the prodigal vanished. Harmony asks where the baby is now, and he says he’s taking steps to find out.

Ryan asks what Nelle is in for. She says, attempted murder, but she was framed. He says, what a coincidence. So was he. She says they have something else in common; more specifically someone – Carly Corinthos. He says, now there’s a difficult woman, and Nelle says, tell her about it.

Carly can’t believe Jax is thinking about publicizing Ava. He says it wasn’t his idea. Nina has editorial control, and she insisted. Carly says he can override her, and he says he thought of that, but Nina has a clause in her contract where she can walk, and she doesn’t need the money. He’d heard she could be impulsive. Carly says, the worst case scenario, Nina walks, but she’s not irreplaceable. He says she’s creative, thinks outside the box, and he thinks with the right guidance, Crimson could be a goldmine. Carly says he’s better off with Maxie. She runs the magazine anyway. He says, it was Maxie’s idea to start with. He hated it, but she’s right; crime and scandal sell, and Ava’s story has both.

Sonny tells Julian not to jump to conclusions, and Julian asks if he’s going for a peaceful resolution. Sonny says he doesn’t discuss his plans. Julian asks what part of Wiley is Sonny’s grandson? and Sonny says he thought Julian wasn’t supposed to have contact. Brad says it was in the original agreement, but… Sonny asks if Brad thinks Julian can fix it. He can’t. Julian says, and Sonny can? Sonny says he’s going to try.

Lulu tells Mark a story about jumping onto the ferry, and he says he’s impressed. She tells him, don’t be. When she was catching her breath, she’d realized she left her laptop on the bench. The ferry wouldn’t turn around, and she had to take an Uber back. The laptop was still there though; what are the odds? Mark thinks for a moment, and says, 750 to 1; depending on the time of day and foot traffic. He tells Lulu, sorry, and she asks why he’s apologizing. It’s amazing. He says, impromptu mathematics is a hobby, or an annoying tic, depending on your point of view. She asks if he compulsively blurts out odds in the movie theater. He says never, but come to a movie with him, and he’ll prove it.

Michael tells Willow that she doesn’t want to make it worse with guessing. Start with what she knows, not, not what she thinks or is afraid of. Focus on the facts. Wiley is her son, and Shiloh is his biological father. Is Shiloh’s name on any certificates? She tells Michael that it says the father is unknown. Michael says she signed away her legal rights, and Brad and Lucas are legally Wiley’s parents. She says she never told Shiloh about the baby, so he still has parental rights. Michael says, only if he can prove a relationship, and there’s no legal way Shiloh can do that.

Nelle tells Ryan that she was pregnant with Carly’s grandchild, and Carly pushed her down the stairs. But she didn’t go to prison. Instead, she went to Ferncliff. Ryan says, of course (🍷). He was in the room next to Carly, and eavesdropped on her sessions with his brother. They were tedious, but ultimately useful. He learned a lot about impersonating a psychiatrist. Carly had a lot to say about Nelle; none of it complementary. Nelle says, all she did was love Carly’s son, and he loved her too, but Carly poisoned him against her. He entrapped her, and she was falsely accused of trying to kill him. Ryan says, poor thing. What became of the baby?

Jax tells Carly to let him pitch her, but she doesn’t want to be pitched. He wants to talk true crime? It’s true Connie was unarmed when Ava shot her at point blank range. Carly heard the recording of Ava’s confession; the recording that conveniently disappeared before Ava could be tried. That doesn’t make it any no less true. Jax says he was originally opposed to profiling Ava, and Carly says, even if he ignores Connie, what about Morgan? Jax says when he was there for the memorial, Carly didn’t know Ava was involved. Carly says, she wasn’t involved, it was Ava’s fault. He says he never actually heard the story from Carly. She asks if it would change his mind, and he says just tell him. She says Morgan did everything to get his life back on track. He was taking his medication like clockwork, he was working, and got back together with Kiki. Ava couldn’t stand it. She said Morgan was too unstable for her daughter, but the truth was, she was jealous and insecure. She made up an excuse to visit Avery, and switched Morgan’s lithium with a placebo. The last weeks of his life, he was unmedicated. He was in a full-blown manic episode when he stole Julian’s car and it exploded. Ave put it all in motion. She whined that she didn’t mean for it to happen, but that bitch is still walking around, and her son is dead. Jax takes her hands, and says he can’t guarantee Ava will be brought to justice, but he can hold her up for the world to judge. Is Carly willing to help him?

Michael asks what Willow said to Shiloh. She says she lied, saying she miscarried. Michael asks if there’s a record of Wiley’s birth, and she says there is. He tells her, under the HIPPA laws, Shiloh has no way to access it. He’d have to prove she had a baby, and that he’s the biological father. For that, he’d need a DNA test, which would have to be court ordered. On top of it, the adoption records are sealed. He’d have to go through a long, convoluted legal trail, and she also has the best lawyers to help her every step of the way. She asks if she has nothing to worry about. He says she has reason to worry, but so does Shiloh.

Harmony tells Shiloh that they need to find her grandson. He says he’s working on it. She says she can help, but he has to get her out first. He says she already confessed, and she says to cover for him. She warned him that Sam was playing him. He agrees he should have listened, but what’s done is done. She says she’s not going to prison for him. He needs to get her a better lawyer than a public defender. He says, in time, and she asks how much time? He says he has to prioritize. The most important thing is to find his son – her grandson. Once they have him, everything else will fall into place.

Brad says, it’s not that he doesn’t appreciate it, but it’s not about Julian or Sonny. It’s about Wiley. Sonny says they’re not letting anything happen to him.

Lulu tells Mark that she’d love see a movie, but… Mark says she’s turning him down. She says she hasn’t been honest. He has no reason to believe her, but under ordinary circumstances, she’d never make a fake profile. This is a one-time thing, and she promises it’s for a good reason. He asks if she’s not a writer, and she says, that part is true. He says, the story about the ferry? and she says, also true. The part that’s not true is her wanting a date. She’s so sorry. He says, him too. It was nice meeting her. She says Lulu is her real name, and don’t let this discourage him. He’s a great guy, and there’s someone perfect for him out there. He says, fingers crossed she’s as perfect as Lulu. He leaves, and Sonny walks over. Lulu is sure he’s wondering about that guy. Sonny asks if he works at the paper, and she says, no. She was having a date.

Nelle tells Ryan, looking back, she never stood a chance. The whole family was against her. They would have taken her baby the moment he was born. Even Ava turned on her. Ryan says, Ava Jerome? and Nelle says she worked for Ava’s gallery. They were close for a while. Ava is smart, beautiful, and has amazing taste. That made it more hurtful when Ava betrayed her. Ryan says she betrayed him too. Ava is like a falcon living among pigeons; a hunter denying her nature. If she would embrace it, she would take flight, free and fearless. He tried to show her, but in the end, she turned on him. Nelle says he must hate her, but he says he could never hate Ava.

Jax tells Carly that he loved Morgan too. He was a great kid, and the only one who drank the smoothies he made, that she and Michael put in the planter; he knows about that. He says Ava was rattling off a list of petty demands, and he blew the deal. He called her out, she got upset, and walked away. Carly says, good riddance. He asks what would hurt Ava more, a few nasty words from him, or her own words for the entire world to pick apart? Carly says she’ll spin everything to make it sound like she’s the victim. Jax asks how she’ll explain being estranged from her daughter in the first place, and how two of her exes were involved with Kiki? Ava is going to expose herself in all her vanity and jealousy, and he can give her an international platform to do it. Carly likes it, but Jax says Ava won’t trust the deal. She needs incentive. What are the chances Carly can piss her off? Ava comes in, and Jax tells Carly, play along. He thanks Ava for meeting him, and giving him the opportunity to make amends. She doesn’t think that’s likely, and Carly asks why Jax would want to make amends with her.

Jax tells Carly that he and Ava have business to discuss. Carly asks, what kind? and Ava says, Crimson. They’re putting her on the cover. Carly asks if Jax has lost his mind. He says he did, but he’s not letting history get in the way of opportunity. Nina helped him to see reason. Carly says Nina can’t stand Ava either, but Jax says, Nina is being non-judgmental. Carly says Ava has no morals, scruples, or class, and Ava asks what Carly would know about that. How many husbands has she had? Carly tells Jax if he wants to put that trash on the magazine cover, don’t say she didn’t warn him. She walks away, and Jax says he’s sure this didn’t help his cause. Can he at least buy Ava a drink before they part ways? He assumes she still doesn’t want to be on the cover. She says she does, and thanks to Carly, more than ever.

Nelle tells Ryan, it’s a horrible feeling. Being trapped in there, while those outside look down on them, telling themselves they won. He says they literally took a piece of him. She says, the hand? and he says, worse. They drugged him, forced him to sign a consent form, and stole an organ from him; a kidney. She shows him her scar, and says hers was stolen too. That’s a pretty good twist. I hadn’t even made that connection between them.

Michael tells Willow, in the unlikely event there’s a custody fight, Wiley is in a happy, stable home. It wouldn’t be in his best intentions to give him to a total stranger. Shiloh is up on fraud and sexual assault charges. Willow says the charges were dropped, but Michael says, he’s a sexual predator. He’s going to keep repeating the pattern until he gets caught. Willow says he makes it sound reasonable, but Shiloh isn’t reasonable. He turns things around, and gets people to do things for him. Like her mother. She’s his right hand. Michael tells her not to assume everyone is like her mother, and Willow says, don’t assume everyone is like him. They’re lost; feeling inadequate and looking for something, someone, to validate them. Shiloh finds them, and uses them. She has no right to judge. She let him do the exact same thing to her, but not anymore.

Shiloh tells Harmony that he has an excellent custody attorney, but it’s expensive. He needs to take money from the offshore account, and she has to countersign. He takes out his iPad. Harmony says the funds are for future generations at DOD. He’s the one who teaches one great gift deserves another. He asks what she wants, and she says she wants them to raise her grandson together. Even if Willow doesn’t come back, she wants to know she can trust him, and they’re united in this. He says, of course (🍷). Now, more than ever, they’re bound together. He takes her hand, and says that’s why she needs him to find the baby, the greatest gift. She signs, and he thanks her. She’s looking skeptical, but tells him to tell her when he finds the baby. He says she’ll be the first to know.

Lulu tells Sonny, it’s for a story she’s writing. She’s trying to catch a burglar. He’s been preying on women looking for love. He sets up a date, and while they’re waiting, robs their home. Sonny asks if she’s setting herself up to be robbed, but she says she’s setting herself up to be stood up. She has no intention of dating. It’s just a ruse to draw out the burglar. He asks if there isn’t anyone else who can write it. Somebody not married.

Ava says, vodka martini, shaken, not stirred. How did she know that was Jax’s drink? It’s hers too. He’s sorry about the unpleasantness, but she says Carly is responsible for her own behavior. She’s like a dog with a bone. Jax says they’re there to talk about Ava. He asks her to give him a chance to salvage the deal. She wants the parameters clear. She doesn’t want to be pigeonholed as a femme fatale. Try suffering the way she has; being judged by hypocrites, saying she deserves to lose Kiki. She hates the word karma. He says here’s her chance. Ava says she’s made her own mistakes, and paid with interest. Take her as she is, or the hell with him.

At the hospital, Carly’s OB tells her that the test results are in. Without getting technical, they came back positive. Her protein is elevated. Carly says, okay… She thought she was already in the clear. The doctor says that this test addressed some areas the CVS test didn’t, and there’s a risk of possible birth defects. Carly asks, how serious?

Willow tells Michael that she changed more than her name. She stopped being passive. She made a choice to fight, and she’s going to protect the baby with everything she has. Michael says Chase is too, and him, and Diane, and Alexis. They’ll use every legal means at their disposal, and if the law fails, there’s always his father. She says she knows the stories, but come on. What does Sonny really do. He says it’s better not to ask, but he’s had his fair share of enemies, more powerful than Shiloh. They’re gone, and his father is still there, and he owes her a debt. She doesn’t want to sound ungrateful. It’s comforting, but also alarming. He tells her only focus on the things she can affect, and leave the rest to God. She asks if he follows his own advice. He says he tries, but that doesn’t mean he always succeeds. Ice cream helps. A walk in the park, watching the sunset. Ideally, all three. They missed the support group, but he knows an awesome stand. Is he moving in on Chase? She knows it, and says she loves the soft serve. He says he’ll put a message in with his grandmother, and they can go. He starts walking away, and a woman approaches Willow with an envelope. Before Michael can intervene, Willow takes it, and the woman says she’s been served. Michael tells the woman to leave before he has her escorted out. Willow asks, what just happened?

Brad asks Julian if there’s no chance Shiloh will find Wiley. Julian says he’d have to prove Brad and Lucas are the adoptive parents, and the proof doesn’t exist. Brad says, so they’re safe, and Julian says, to a point. If Shiloh discovers Willow isn’t Wiley’s birth mother, all bets are off.

Lulu tells Sonny that she misses Dante. She gets lonely, but has no desire to date anyone. She should have let Mark know right away. He was sweet and nice, and she has to admit it was nice having someone pay attention to her. She guesses she didn’t realize how much she missed Dante.

Jax tells Ava that she gets final approval on the stylists and wardrobe. She asks about content, and he says Crimson picks the questions, but the answers are hers. Their readers will get the full picture of Ava, before and after Ryan. They’ll have to address Kiki’s death, and her quest for revenge, but nothing will be out of context. It’s her chance to tell her story. Finally, the world is going to know the real Ava Jerome. She signs

Nelle tells Ryan, Carly only cares about her own daughter being healthy and strong. Never mind that Nelle’s kidney is keeping her that way. She has no gratitude or loyalty. It’s the worst kind of use. They hide behind respectability, and use people like them for spare parts. Ryan says, something feels like it’s not a coincidence. Them both being there, robbed of their freedom and kidneys. Fate brought them together. They’re supposed to help each other. She says, maybe he’s right. He says he has a sense for these things, and he senses they’re going to be very important to each other.

The doctor tells Carly, the test is just a screening tool. They need to fine tune the results to find out what they’re dealing with. She suggests a next level ultrasound, and Carly tells her to schedule one as soon as possible. The doctor says she’ll set it up. The best thing Carly can do for herself and her child is not to panic, and focus on living her life. There’s a very good chance the baby is healthy. Carly says she’ll try.

Sonny tells Lulu that Dante would be there if he could. She knows, but he didn’t ask her to wait or promise to come back. What is she supposed to do? How long can she live like this, married to a man she might never see again? Sonny says only she can answer that, but whatever she decides, they’ll always be family. He promises.

Julian asks Brad if he’s absolutely sure the birth mother is out of the picture, and won’t show up to stake a claim. Brad says, there’s no chance in the world. Julian says he’d better be right. Unlike Shiloh or Willow, the birth mother has legal grounds for custody, and nothing in the world will outweigh a DNA test.

Willow tells Michael, it says she has to appear. Michael looks at the document, and says she’s been subpoenaed; the plaintiff is Shiloh. Shiloh appears, and stands there looking at them. Michael moves toward him, but he smiles and walks away.

Tomorrow, Josslyn needs Lucy’s help, Brad visits Nelle, Jason says Shiloh is panicking, Margaux tells Shiloh that he’s setting himself up for a colossal fall, and Shiloh says he’s just getting warmed up.

👗 On the Catwalk…

It was the Project Runway finale tonight, and Hester said winning would validate that she has a place in the fashion world. I think she’s going to have a place regardless. Garo had seventeen looks because he likes to have options. First, the designers picked ten models. They would also get three dressers, and had the option to go to Mood (the fabric store) with $300, but the time would be taken out of their work time. Christian said they had to decide between time or resources.

Hester ended up including her red, Nina inspired eleventh outfit in her final pick. She thought it wasn’t about how many garments, but how great the garments were that you had. She thought Garo had too many options, and it wasn’t project how-many-garments-you-can-make way. Marni Senoforte came back to give the contestants inspiration. She thought Garo was punk rock meets elegance. I concur. She told Sebastian there were too many details on his outfits. I didn’t think that was possible, but I understood what she meant when she explained you didn’t know where to look. Diane von Furstenberg, who was also a guest judge, demanded requested an audience with the designers before the big show. I always get her mixed up with Gloria Vanderbilt, and then think of Anderson Cooper. Tonight was no exception. She told the group that the most important thing was to be true to yourself, and true to what you believe in. That way, if you make a mistake, at least it was for what you believed in. She said, moments of failure become your best souvenir. I’m not quite sure what she meant by that. Maybe a souvenir of how hard you tried, and what a pita it was to get there? She said their real shelter and strength was inside themselves.

Garo removed the judges’ favorite – a silver beaded dress with leather detail – from his collection, and Christian almost had a coronary, but Garo thought there was too much sparkle going on. Hester told us that she’d spent her life fitting into boxes that other people gave her, and came in with a vision. Garo wasn’t sure if one of his models lost weight, or he screwed up remembering her measurements, but he was sewing at the last minute, and having to redo a zipper, which ended up not looking smooth. He also had to air cut something that had gotten torn. Christian couldn’t look, and I couldn’t either. I am the worst with scissors, especially if it’s fabric. Something, maybe coffee, got on one of Sebastian’s dresses. In this case, it was good that the dress was white, since they were able to use a bleach pen to get it out. You can’t do that with red. Hester had her three dressers dressing her instead of the models, since it was showtime all too fast.

Sebastian’s collection was first. I have no clue if they did a coin toss or what. His collection was called Reminiscence, and was inspired by his life in Columbia. I noticed Elaine shaking her head at an outfit after I’d’ just thought, ooh, I like that. Oh well. He had some great pantsuits, but the models walked with one hand in a pocket, which I thought looked strange even for a runway. He had a lot of silky stuff with open weave leather. Sebastian said he had trouble telling a story, but did with his collection; a story about his culture. DVF said he had a definite style. Afterwards, his models group hugged him when he started to cry. Garo took us on A Detour Through My Cosmic Mind. I love his stuff to begin with, and this was the best of his best. I would totally wear his hoodie sweater dress. His clothes are out there, but the average person could still wear them. He’s kind of Betsey Johnson meets someone, but I don’t know who. Oscar de la Renta? David Bowie? Karli and Brandon caught the zipper mess right away

Hester called her collection Cyber Rococo or Y2Kcoco. DVF said it was wild. I love Hester’s stuff too, and would definitely wear it. She said she wanted to create things that don’t exist already, and I think she accomplished that. She wanted her pieces to be, funny, naughty, and wearable. DVF said Hester was talented, which I assume is high praise from such an icon. Hester felt like she created a fashion revolution. Marni said she didn’t have a favorite collection, but favorite pieces from each. Yep, me too. Although some outfits were more wearable than others, everything was brilliant.

After the show, the judges deliberated the same way they always do, talking to the designers first, than among themselves. It was agreed that Sebastian was about refined streetwear that every woman could wear. Hester led with her most astounding piece – what Brandon said was Marie Antoinette Clueless – and Nina said that she didn’t follow through on the same power level. In other words, if she’s going to lead with something that fabulous, whatever follows had better equal that or more. It was unanimous that Garo be the first one out. Brandon said they longed for the beaded dress like a cousin you love, but only see once in a while. Nina said Garo got caught in the weeds of fabric and shine, and missed the big picture. She said there was a tightrope between art and commerce that Sebastian walks splendidly. They loved how Hester wears her own designs, and Elaine thought the generation coming up likes know the persona behind the fashion. Nina said she could sell Hester in a minute. Honestly, if I didn’t know already that her clothing will be out of my league pricewise, I would buy it in a heartbeat.

Sebastian was the winner, although the judges said all three designers would be going places. Nina was proud of the story Sebastian told, and said he was the personification of the American dream. They celebrated, with Sebastian drinking champagne straight from the bottle. His first interview words were, f**k! I win this! and indeed he did. He said he would always have a story to tell. At the end of the show, Christian told us that new designers were on the way.

📅 While I’ll miss Project Runway, there’s been a time shift with some of the Bravo shows. Southern Charm will be moving to Wednesdays at 9 pm, and The Real Housewives of New York City will be taking the Runway slot, Thursdays at 9 pm, starting next week.

👠 The After Runway Party…

How Elaine got her groove in the first place.

https://www.refinery29.com/en-gb/elaine-welteroth-memoir-project-runway-interview

👒 Charming Mom…

It’s time Thomas let Kathryn have full custody.

https://starmagazine.com/photos/southern-charm-kathryn-dennis-thomas-ravenel-custody-update/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

🗽 In the New York Groove…

LuAnn needs to get her act together. And I don’t mean her cabaret act.

https://starmagazine.com/photos/rhony-luann-de-lesseps-jail-parole-violation/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

I like Tinsley, and think she should stick around. She’s genuinely ditsy and good-hearted, and I think brings a bit of a balance to the show. I also like the mama drama with Dale.

https://pagesix.com/2019/06/12/inside-tinsley-mortimers-rhony-status/

And I definitely don’t want to see her replaced with this woman. I also like Barbara. As she said herself, she’s different. It’s good to mix it up with the personalities.

https://pagesix.com/2019/06/10/the-moochs-wife-could-be-joining-rhony-cast/

Oh no she didn’t. Ramona has no business commenting on my adoptive mother my BFF LVP.

https://starmagazine.com/photos/ramona-singer-new-teeth-lisa-vanderpump-wwhl/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

🎁 The Gift That Keeps On Giving…

Caroline left a big impression for her brief time on Deck.

https://www.eonline.com/news/1049010/below-deck-s-caroline-bedol-arrested-for-larceny?source=email&medium=emn-content-5&cmpid=morning-a&content=emn-news

💫 There’s No End…

I suppose it should be no surprise that there’s an endless amount of songs about Friday. Who wants to sing about Tuesday? Warning: bad words ahead.

 

 

 

 

 

 

June 11, 2019 – Shiloh Freaks Everyone Out, Justin Goes To Jail, Beverly Hills Invades France, LVP Pride & Stuck

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Sonny tells Jason to give it a minute, but Jason doesn’t want Sam blindsided. Sonny tells him they can hate Shiloh now, and worry about it later. Jason says Sonny heard what he did. He drugged Sam until she couldn’t say no or fight. Franco drugged Sam, and he couldn’t intervene. He failed her then, and doesn’t want to wait. Sonny says they can plan it, but they just can’t do it now. They’ll get it done, but not this way, with anger and on impulse. Jason will end up in prison. Is that what he wants for Sam and the kids? Jason says, no, and Sonny says, then he’s got to wait. It’s for a reason. He doesn’t mind getting rid of Shiloh, but they have to do it right for everybody’s sake.

At Charlie’s, Shiloh asks for coffee. The waitress says she just saw Julian ask him to leave. Shiloh says, you can’t build a bridge without coming down the river. (Huh?) It’s just a coffee. She goes to get it, and he looks through the hospital list. He makes a call, asking to speak to someone in the birth records office.

Maxie asks if Peter has heard of hygge. He says, it’s the Danish word for warm and cozy. Maxie says they wanted to introduce it to American readers last year, but it didn’t happen, so she’s prepping for the October issue to make up for the missed opportunity. Peter says, by October, it should be enticing. I’m thinking Crimson wouldn’t be this behind the times, and isn’t there a new Danish word in vogue now? Maxie says Nina wants pick out everything, so she’s putting the elements in a large pile. He sees a pile of pillows and blankets, and says it will be warm and cozy in the office. He tells her that his weekend is cleared, and asks if she want to visit Robin in Berkeley. She looks at her calendar, and sees Peter’s surprise birthday party. She says her schedule is like an avalanche meets a tsunami meets some other insurmountable thing.

Chase visits Willow at her classroom. The classroom that’s always devoid of children. She says the school year is almost over. It snuck up on her. After she was told she wasn’t invited back, she didn’t want it to end, but here they are. She says she has feelers out in the Port Charles area. She tells him that she spoke with Diane, who reminded her of how many people are fighting for Wiley. Chase says, Wiley has an army. She says Shiloh thinks she had his baby, but without proof, there’s not much he can do, especially from jail. She sees his face, and asks, what’s wrong? He hates tell her this, but the charges against Shiloh have been dropped, and he’s been released.

In her session, Alexis tells Neil, Shiloh is the gift that keeps on giving. The real reason Willow left DOD was because she was pregnant, and didn’t want him to know. Unfortunately, she gave the baby up for adoption, and didn’t tell him. Now he knows, and he’s seeking parental rights. Neil asks how this connects to what they were talking about, and she says, just wait. One of the adoptive parents is her client, and also happens to be Julian’s son. Neil says, the clouds part. She says Julian came to her and asked her to help his son by whatever means possible.

Sam gets a call from Jason, and asks, what’s up? Jason says he wanted to let her know that Shiloh was released and the charges were dropped. She asks how that’s possible, and he says he’ll explain later, but she needs to keep an eye out. He might come after her. She walks into Charlie’s, and says she’s looking at him now. Jason asks where she is, and says he’s on his way. Sam walks past Shiloh, and this moron gets up and follows her. He says he’s glad she’s there. He wanted to look her in the eye when he told her this. She wonders what else he could possibly have to say to her, and he says he’s sorry. Seriously? Is that the best he can do?

Willow tells Chase that she doesn’t understand. They had proof. Chase says one of his followers claims she’s the one who drugged Kristina and Sam. Willow says, Harmony. Her mother, and Shiloh’s biggest fan. After he left, Harmony stopped by to tell her that she doesn’t believe Willow lost the baby. She said she was Willow’s only hope to broker peace, and she should tell Harmony where the baby is for her own sake. Chase says, or what? and Willow says, Shiloh is devious enough to think of something. Chase asks if Harmony threatened Willow on Shiloh’s behalf, and she says someone had to. She says Chase probably thinks there’s a sacred bond between a mother and child, but for her, there isn’t been. Chase says he’s been a cop long enough to learn that. She says her mother chose her over Shiloh, but it’s not personal. She chose Shiloh over everyone, including herself. Now she’s going to jail for him. Harmony brought her to DOD in the first place, and gave Willow to him. Now she’s choosing his freedom over hers and Willow’s.

Shiloh says he’s sorry Sam believes what’s being said, but now he understands why she was upset at the hospital. She says he drugged her and tried to have sex with her without her consent. He says she may have been drugged, but it was Harmony who did it. She says, oh, he’s blaming Harmony. She didn’t carry Sam up the spiral staircase when she was passed out or started fondling her when she couldn’t resist. Or did he think she was just relaxed? He swears he’d never do anything without her permission. Many people saw them together, and saw how she reacted to his presence. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. She’s attracted to him. She’d like to teach him a lesson. When a person can’t say no, they can’t say yes. She did not consent. He says he’s sorry for the misunderstanding, but at least the person responsible has been arrested. She says, just like Daisy with the crazy emails, and he says, exactly. Now they’re bearing the consequences. It’s behind them, and now they can look forward and continue the journey they started.

Kristina finds Sonny (once again in the kitchen), and he asks what’s wrong? Does it have something to do with Shiloh’s release? He promised she didn’t have to be afraid anymore, and he’s keeping that promise. Didn’t she feel things were on track when she got up this morning? Just because Shiloh was released, that doesn’t change anything. Kristina says she knows Sonny hates him. She does too, but she doesn’t want him to die.

Kristina tells Sonny that she knows she made a mess of things. He tells her not to blame herself, but she says it was her fault. She’s grateful for the forgiveness, but she has to own what did. She was stupid. Some guy said she was awesome, and could be more awesome if she did what he said. She should have known better. He says she’s not the only one, but she says she’s Sonny daughter. She’s Alexis’s daughter. She should have learned by now. She survived Kiefer and what happened to Trey. She’s in her twenties, and already a widow. She doesn’t understand why she didn’t learn from those tragedies.  She didn’t listen to him or her mom, but listened to her own insecurities. Sonny jokes that she should blame her mother; she married Julian. She says, don’t make her laugh, and he says he’s serious. He believes in her. He always will, and will never stop. She asks what reason she’s given him, other than being his daughter. He asks how much time she’s got, and she says, more time than he needs, but it’s nice of him to say. Sonny says he’s a nice guy; everyone knows that. She appreciates everything he does, but he has to stop fixing things, especially this.

Neil says, so Alexis’s ex came to her for help, and she took umbrage with that. She says it’s not the asking for help. It’s by whatever means possible that concerns her. Julian is supposedly on the straight and narrow, but has no problem compromising her ethics. Neil takes it she said no. She says he even had the gall to point out she can be more flexible when it serves her. Neil thinks when people break rules, it’s usually for a selfish reason, even if it’s for someone else. They get something out of it, or it’s not worth the risk. She says her thinking this way hasn’t led a moral high ground. Julian said that when they got Kristina out of the cult, Kristina didn’t ask for help, and they didn’t ask permission. If she could kidnap Kristina, why can’t she help his son? Neil says she sounds angry. She says she is, but Julian is probably right.

Peter asks if Maxie wants to grab a bite to eat. She wishes she could, but Nina is pitching Ava for the cover, and working out the details. She’s in the long stretch at the office. Back to work. She asks if he spoke to his mom, and if she has any idea where Dante is. He says he hasn’t been able to pin her down.

Shiloh says, now that he’s apologized, is Sam going to honor her promise to help him heal? She says she did promise that. She lied. She lied to get what she wanted, like he did. One thing she admires is his skill at a long con. He says that’s her area of expertise. She says, it could be, but she didn’t bring him here. She calls him Hank, and says he came there looking for her. It made him happy, thinking he had her, and she wanted him. Please. Who does he think is really running the con now? Her or him? He grabs her arm, and Jason appears. He tells Shiloh, careful. His next move could be his last.

Shiloh asks if Sam is as good a liar with Jason as she is with him. Does she make promises to Jason like she did to him? Sam says when she makes promises to Jason, she keeps them. He says, what a bond they have. It doesn’t matter. He’s a father. There’s a little baby waiting for him to find it. Sorry, he can’t stay and play. He tells Jason that he also reminded the police that Jason attacked him. He told them that Jason or Sonny might come after him, due to the misunderstanding. if something happens to him, even by accident, they’ll come looking for Jason. Jason says he’ll keep that in mind, and Sam says, good luck with that. Shiloh leaves, and Jason asks if Sam is okay. She says she is. She’s glad she doesn’t have to pretend to believe in Shiloh anymore.

Chase asks Willow if her mother has always been devoted like this. Willow says, with all her gurus and cult leaders? No. They never captivated her. It’s partly due to her dad. Chase says she never mentioned her father, so he assumed he wasn’t part of the picture. She says that’s her fault. It hurts too much to explain, so she glosses over it. It wasn’t fair to her dad, and he did try, over and over. She says he was a little more skeptical. Shiloh was the first person to convince her mother that he had the answers. Chase says, one of his hardcore followers, but Willow says, not hardcore, but she believed Shiloh was sincere, and that DOD was dedicated to helping and doing good deeds. Her mother loved every minute. She was a strong, fierce, badass woman because Shiloh said she was. They joined as a family, but before too long, her mother was all about Shiloh. He came between her and her dad. In Harmony’s eyes, her dad was weak, and Shiloh was Superman. He used Harmony to take advantage, but everything really changed when he created the Trust. There are no men in it, and Harmony was the first woman invited to join. After she slept with Shiloh, it broke her dad. Chase asks, what happened?

Kristina says she loves Sonny. He got her out of DOD – even if it was kicking and screaming – and she’s grateful. She sees DOD and Shiloh for what they really are. She says he always comes to her rescue, and Sonny says, that’s what dads do. She says she thought they were supposed to make sure their kids could fend for themselves. Sonny says, that’s with sons, and she says, sexist much? He says mothers do it with their daughters, and spoil their sons. Fathers do it with their sons, and spoil their daughters. It’s like the circle of life. Kristina says she needs him to try something different. No more getting her into colleges, offering her jobs, or paving her way. He needs to let her stand on her own.

Alexis tells Neil that Julian was completely inappropriate, but he inspired her to take moral inventory. He asks what she found, and she says some things he already knows. The big ones, but there’s a list of smaller, embarrassing things that featured prominently in the smear campaign when she was running for mayor. He can find them online. He says he’ll be sure to look those up. She says she had a shift in perspective about Kristina. She wonders if Kristina thinks she’s so ethically challenged, that she’s more dangerous than her father, and that’s why she made the Pledge about her. Neil says, it’s possible. What is she planning on doing? Alexis says, nothing. She’s listening to him, and letting it rest. It’s not easy. Even if the Pledge has been neutralized, Shiloh knows, and she’ll always be thinking about it. What would Neil do if his daughter knew something about his life that could ruin him? He tells her that their time is up. Alexis thought they had a few more minutes. He tells her that he’s paid to treat her, and talking about his private life is not part of the program.

Peter says it’s obvious how much Lulu misses her husband, and he understands Maxie is dumping focus on that or work, but tell him what’s really going on. She says Dante being away from his family is part of it, but she’s worried he’s not coming back. Peter tells her, for Lulu’s sake, why not trust herself again? Why not give Dante time to heal? It can take years sometimes, but give them room to breathe. She says they don’t need room; they need to get a room, and help each other make a stronger bond. She tells Peter, you don’t give up. Not on love.

Willow tells Chase that Harmony got her dad kicked out of DOD. Not long after, he… She starts to cry, and says, he passed away. That’s when Shiloh wanted her to join the trust. Chase asks if her mother was okay with that, and Willow says she wanted to score points with Shiloh by offering her daughter to him. But when he started to favor her, her mother was furious and jealous. When Harmony tried to stand up for herself, Shiloh told her that she was reacting from an evil place. Harmony may resent the man she loves for sleeping with her daughter, but she can’t deny him. Willow is sure Shiloh was livid when Harmony couldn’t give him any information about the baby. Her confessing to his crimes is her way making of it up to him.

Sam tells Jason she’s sorry. She knows he wanted to handle Shiloh. Jason says they know how it would have turned out. Sam says, she got a tattoo; she let herself be drugged, and almost raped. She doesn’t want this to be like last time. Jason says Shiloh will never touch her again. He’s going to make sure of it.

Maxie tells Peter that Lulu deserves to know her husband is safe. Why not let her look? Peter says Maxie isn’t married to Dante; she needs to respect Lulu’s decision. Maxie says Dante loves his family, but needs to know Lulu still holds him in her heart. She assumes he sees it differently, and if they can help him gain sight about how much they love each other, they should do that. Peter thinks he knows where she’s coming from.

Chase says Willow has done everything in her power to protect Wiley. She says but Shiloh still thinks the baby is out there. Running will make him think she has something to hide, so she’s staying put. She wants to make sure she has no connection to a living child. She goes into her purse, and says, this is all she has. The one moment he was hers. She shows Chase a hospital bracelet with Baby Boy Tait on it, and says she can’t risk keeping it.

Shiloh tells Shawna in the birth records department that he knew she was a kind person. He’s hoping to get his sister off the streets. She says she’s kind of a fan. She read his book, and is familiar with DOD’s work. The world needs more people like him, reminding them that they’re here to take care of each other. He says he’s glad his message spoke to her. He writes something down, and she says they don’t usually give out information. He says, normally, they’re not inclined to give out personal information on DOD residents, but he’s worried. He thought she might see her way clear to bend the rules a little; help someone in need. She says she’ll see what they have on his sister, if anything. He says ever since she ran away, she’s been using the alias Willow Tait. He hopes he’s not overstepping, but she’s give him comfort. Her being there seems like a sign he’s in the right place. She says they do have a record. She was admitted in July of 2018. He says she has no idea how much joy this brings him. I know there are exceptions to every rule, and that people break rules, but it annoys me when they do something that’s this unbelievable. It would have been a better choice to have him get her out of the room, and find the information himself. I’ve worked at a clinic, and there’s no way in hell he’d get this information, especially just walking in off the street. I don’t care what book he wrote.

Sam tells Jason it was her risk to take. He says he still has nightmares of being locked in a room, watching what Franco did to her, and he can’t get to her or stop it. He wakes up, reminding himself it was years ago, and memories fade. He thinks it’s because he didn’t do anything to save her. Deep down, he’s afraid it will happen again. Sam says he has to tell her these things, and he says she never asked him to change because he’s afraid, and he’s not asking her to change either.

Sonny asks if he can get Kristina an apartment. She says, no, and he says, a car? She says, tempting, but no. He says, what about a small business? She’s like, come on, and he says he’s teasing. He’s proud of her, and doesn’t want her to see him getting emotional. She says she can’t rebuild her life knowing her mistakes drove him to commit an act of violence. He says his choices are his own, and she says she’s not questioning that, but asking him to honor hers. She chooses not to have Shiloh’s blood on her hands.

Alexis goes back to Neil’s office. She says she doesn’t mean to barge in, but feels uncomfortable about how they left the last session. He knows about her, but she doesn’t know about him. She’s sorry to upset be accidentally invading his privacy. She doesn’t know anything except what he’s told her, or she looked up online. He appreciates her apology, but she asks if he accepts it. He’d like to request that she honor doctor/patient boundaries.

Maxie tells Peter that she’ll make order out of chaos until Nina descends on the office again. He lies down on the pillows and blankets, and she asks if she should move the props. He says, don’t, and she says he looks comfortable. She joins him, and he says he was thinking about what she said, how it’s important to let the people you care about know how you feel. Maxie says that’s why it’s important that he knows how she feels about him, so he’s not guessing. They kiss, and he says she’s the first person to ever teach him what love is. He still doesn’t exactly know what do about it. She says, it’s okay. Love is kind of her thing. He says he noticed, and she says, to be honest, she thinks he’s getting the hang of it. They kiss some more.

Chase tells Willow that he’ll hold on to the bracelet. When Shiloh is no longer a threat and she’s safe – which he promises will happen – he’ll give it back. She says she’d like that very much, and he hugs her.

Shiloh tells Shawna, sorry. He knows he shouldn’t ask, but does she know why his sister was there? No specifics. He just wants to know is she’s okay, and that it was nothing life-threatening. She says, on the contrary. She had a baby. He says he has a niece or nephew, and she says, a healthy baby boy. I say, fire her ass immediately, and he says, fantastic. He can’t wait to welcome his nephew into the family. I’m fuming, since not only would they never give out this information, if she read his book, wouldn’t she know that he doesn’t have a sister?

Sam asks Jason to tell her something. He says, it depends, and smiles. She says, seriously. When he has nightmares, if she’s with him, wake her up. If not, please pick up the phone and call her. He asks if she still has nightmares, and she says, sometimes. He says she can wake him up, and he’ll remind her that they survived. She says, they did, didn’t they? She loves him, and feels safe with him. He says he loves her too, and they kiss.

Jason’s phone rings. It’s Sonny, who says, about their conversation earlier, put the project on hold. Jason is sorry to hear that. Sonny is too, but that’s what it has to be for now. Kristina smiles at Sonny. Sam says, it sounded like bad news. He says, Sonny doesn’t want him dealing with Shiloh. She says, it’s not that bad. If Shiloh disappeared, Jason would be the prime suspect. Jason says, Shiloh needs be finished, one way or the other. Sam says, okay. They’ll figure something out. They’re good at that.

Tomorrow, Maxie says Josslyn can talk to her, Ryan wonders how he got there, and Kim collapses.

The Haves and The Have Nots

There’s no money in the account. Hanna says, his damn sister. Benny says, the money was just there. The officer says, now it’s not. He asks where it is now, and she goes to check the records. Benny doesn’t think it was Candace. If she had the money, she would have given it to him. She said she didn’t have it, and he wants to give her the benefit of the doubt. Hanna says they’ll see. She says, both of the families are going to be after him now, but he tells her, hang on.

At the Artisian, RK goes to Scott’s room. He tells Scott the others are on the way. He suggests Scott take his clothes off. Scott says, him first. He asks if Scott wants a drink, and mixes one. Scott hears the President Elect stayed there; that’s pretty cool. RK gives him a drink, and there’s a knock at the door. It’s Rocky. Scott asks if they do drugs. RK says they like to party. Scott takes out what looks like an eye-drop container, and says they have to try this. When he puts it in his drink, if it changes color, someone is trying to drug him. He puts some in, and his drink turns blue. RK says, damn maids. Rocky is sure it’s nothing. Scott says there’s a nice cozy pub in London where Rocky can get a job, and speaks into a microphone on his collar, asking someone to come out. Broderick enters the room. Rocky says he’s supposed to be covering the bar, and Scott says, he’s not. They’re under arrest. Broderick says Scott knows everything, and Scott says they’ve been running a prostitution ring. Broderick says he’ll talk. He tells Rocky and RK that they don’t know how much Scott has on them. RK says, arrest him; he has nothing to say. Scott says if they testify against Candace, he’ll let them go. Rocky asks what he wants to know. She’s done a lot of evil things, and beat hell out of him. RK tells him, shut up, and he says RK is always on her side. Scott says if RK walks out, he’ll be arrested. RK says, fine. Scott radios his men to take RK out the back door. He doesn’t want to attract attention. I start wondering if Scott is the same character from Too Close To Home, since a lot of them worked for the government, but I look it up, and no.

RK jets. Two guys come out, and he really jets. They fly after him.

Scott says Rocky knows her. He said she beat hell out of him. Someone radios Scott, and he says, what? Find him now. He asks Rocky and Broderick, where did he go? He got away. The other two don’t know, and he tells them, think. Broderick says he told Scott everything. Scott says if RK calls her, the deal is off. Broderick says Scott told him that if he talked, he could walk. Scott says, change of plans. He’s going to have them both deported, and put on the terrorist watch list. Broderick says, that’s not what they agreed on. Scott says, Broderick thinks he’s a man of his word? He’s there to win, and get it done. He leaves. Neither one of them know where RK is. Broderick says he’s just going to go, and Rocky is like, damn!

Hanna wonders what’s taking so long. Now she’ll have to call Kathryn. Benny says he’s not scared of that dude, but he doesn’t want that fool thinking he stole his money. Hanna asks why he’s so calm. Did he do something with the money? He says, no, but she thinks he’s too calm about this. She calls Candace, and leaves a message to call her back. Benny says she and Candace just got in a good place. Don’t accuse her. Hanna says she’s just going to ask, but Bennie says, don’t go blaming her. The officer comes back, and says the money was wired out. They’re trying to find out by who. They got a reverse notice from the delivery bank to send it back to where it came from, the Cryer Company. Hanna says, so it went back; good. Benny asks, when? and the officer says, a few days ago. He says, it doesn’t make sense, and Hanna says she’ll call them. The officer leaves. What really doesn’t make sense is how lax this bank is. The officer had said they were actually $4000 overdrawn. This happened a few days ago, and they didn’t let the account holder know?

Kathryn calls Broderick, who tells her the hotel has been busy. She wonders why he’s being so formal, and he says he has to call her back. She asks, what’s going on? but he won’t tell her. He hangs up, and someone else answers when she calls back. She’s told Broderick just left. He walked out, and didn’t say where he was going. She gets another call, and it’s Hanna. She says they’re at the bank, and the money was reversed back to the account; the Cryer Company. Kathryn says Jim didn’t tell her, and says she’ll call Hanna back after she talks to him.

Jim sees Wyatt, and asks if he’s high. I’d say so, since he barely understands Jim is there. Jim asks, what the hell did he do? and smacks him. He asks where Wyatt got drugs, but Wyatt is too out of it to answer. Jim says don’t make him toss the room. Kathryn calls for Jim, and he says their son is high. She asks where he got drugs. Jim has no idea, but he got them somewhere. Kathryn says, let him sleep it off, proving she doesn’t understand the difference between drugs and alcohol. Jim says, he’s high as a kite. She says there’s nothing they can do now, and she has to talk to him. He tells Wyatt, stay there, like Wyatt can even get up. Kathryn asks if Jim has $8 million waiting. Hanna just called, and said it’s already in the account. It’s been there since last week. Jim says, no, and she tells him, call Lloyd. There was a reversal back to the Cryer Company. He says that’s not his company; she’s playing games. He says he’s getting to the bottom of it, and Kathryn says, don’t go near Hanna or her son. Jim says he’ll do what he has to, but Kathryn means it. Leave them alone. He storms out, and she calls him an a-hole.

Charles tells Candace that he just has to pack some personal things. She says, speaking of which, what is this? She picks up a photo, and shows it to him. He says, it’s nothing. She laughs, saying, it’s something. Is it him? He nods, and says he was a kid. She says, he danced?  He tells her, there was a time when he wanted to be breakdance champ. She asks how old he was, and he says, sixteen. Thank God before camera phones. She doesn’t believe him, and asks if he can still do it. He says, it was a long time ago. She says she has to see this, and he says, no, she doesn’t. She says she does, and puts music on, shoving him off the couch. He dances for her, ending with the splits, and it’s pretty impressive. She applauds. He says he’s rusty, and I say, I thought he was Charles. BA-DUM-CHH! Candace says he really can dance, and he tells her that she’ll never see it again. The President shouldn’t be doing that. She says he’s a different kind of President. He’s the cool one.

Not-Landon comes in, and Charles says, he didn’t see that, right? Not-Landon says, no, he didn’t, but Candace says, he’s lying, and he says he is. Charles has a phone call, and Candace says she’ll go upstairs so she doesn’t hear top secret information. Not-Landon tells Charles, it’s getting worse. Charles asks where Landon is, and not-Landon says, on the phone. Charles doesn’t even say, hi, how are ya? He tells Landon, let him make one thing clear. If the story hits, and Landon can’t spin it, he’s fired. He told Charles that’s what he’s good at. He hangs up, and not-Landon says, he tried to. Charles says, did he ask not-Landon anything? Not-Landon says, no sir. Charles says they have to get out to DC. Not-Landon suggests a flight back to Savannah for Candace, and Charles says, did he ask not-Landon to do anything? Not-Landon says, no, but he thinks it’s best. Charles thinks it’s best not-Landon do what he’s told. Methinks not-Landon is going to be on the unemployment line along with Landon.

At the police station, Veronica watches a group of thugs being brought in. The last one gives her the eye, so I assume these are the guys she hired.

Jeffrey gets ready to leave David’s house. David asks where he’s going, and Jeffrey says he’s not staying there, but he’s not going back to Justin. As long as David is with Veronica, he means it. David says, it’s different. Jeffrey knows how angry he is. He wants to take the law into his own hands. Jeffrey says, then do it, and David says he won’t for the same reason Jeffrey pulled that boy off Veronica. Jeffrey says he didn’t want to see Justin get hurt. David says he doesn’t understand the situation. There are several major legal situations that they need her help with. If he can’t keep her calm and working with him, everything will go to hell. Jeffrey says that’s the same reason he’s trying with Justin. Justin’s life went to hell because of her. David says Justin could kill him, and Jeffrey says, maybe death better than being part of this family. David tells him not to say that. Things are bad, but not that bad. He’s on verge of being pushed over the edge. He’s tested every day, but once the legal situations are resolved, he’ll let her go. He promises she won’t bother them again, and they can live there in peace. Just stay. Jeffrey says, okay, and David thanks him. He doesn’t know what he’d do if he lost Jeffrey. They hug.

David’s phone rings, and he says, damn. Jeffrey says, her? and David says, yeah. Jeffrey goes upstairs to unpack, and David says they’ll talk later. David answers, and Veronica says she needs to talk to him. She’s at the police station. She needs him to meet her at her house tonight. There’ll talk by the pool, not in the living room. He knows why. He says he’ll be there.

Veronica waits. Justin is brought in. He says he told them she’s lying. Veronica says, is she? He has no idea what he’s done. Bye, girl. Enjoy jail. She bets he thinks twice before hitting a woman. Rainbows and unicorns, baby. He tells her, go to hell, and she says, him first. He says he’s been there since he met her. She says he hasn’t been there yet. One of the arresting cops says, he’s an officer. He’ll be in a cell alone. He won’t be touched. Justin asks if they can speed it up. As he’s led away, Veronica says, bye, Tootsie. Enjoy yourself. Life in tight pants. You better work. She laughs.

David tells Jeffrey he’s going out. Jeffrey says, to meet mom? and David says, to keep the situation under control. Jeffrey tells him that Madison said he needs to keep the bandages changed, and David asks him to help do that when he gets back. Jeffrey thinks he should have Madison do it. He knows David is mad at him, but he meant the best. He thinks David should have him come back. David tells Jeffrey to have Madison call.

Hanna and Benny get home. Wow the house looks very different during the day with no cars in front of it. They see flowers on the porch; a bouquet of yellow roses (which I think means an apology). Benny says they’re from Derrick, and Hanna throws them down. Benny asks what Derrick did, and she tells him, don’t worry about it. They go inside. Benny asks again what Derrick did, and Hanna says she’s going to ask Kathryn about the money, and that’s all she’s saying. Her phone rings, and Hanna asks if Kathryn got it. Kathryn says, no. It’s not making sense. Jim said it’s not his company. She thinks it’s a mix-up, and she’ll get to the bottom of it. Hanna says let her know. She’s sorry; it’s a lot of money. Kathryn knows she didn’t do anything, and she’ll find out what’s going on. Benny asks what that was about, and Hanna says, it’s not Jim’s company. He says, that’s crazy, and Hanna says, maybe. He says, it must be a mix-up at the bank. She says, maybe, and goes upstairs.

Benny calls Candace, and asks where she is. She says, Detroit, and he asks if she’s with him. She says she is, and asks, what’s going on? He says they tried to give the money back, and the bank said it had been sent back already; something about a reverse wire request. She’s like, what? She says, from the Cryer company? and he says, yes. She says, okay. So he got his money, but Benny says, no. It doesn’t make sense. Jim was just there threatening him again. Candace says he’d better not threaten Benny again, and why do that if he’s got the money? She has to call him back.

Candace looks on her laptop, and sees the money in the account. (To refresh your memory, the Cryer company is the dummy account Candace created to get the money in the first place.)

RK slips into Veronica’s house. She sees him, and says, get the hell out. He says he needs her help. They’re after him. She doesn’t give a damn; she wants him to get out, and she means it. He says the Attorney General is trying to throw him in jail. He needs a couple of days to hide out. She asks what the AG would want with him; what did he do? He says he was involved in running a prostitution ring out of the hotel. She says that’s not her problem. He says he’s loyal, and he needs help. She asks where her jewelry is. He says he messed up on that, but he’ll do anything; whatever it takes. She calls him little boy, and says he needs to get out of her house. She’s tired. It’s been a rough day, and she’s pissed off. She needs him gone. He says maybe he should have turned on Candace. She says, Candace Young? What do they want with her? RK doesn’t know, but they wanted him to turn on her. Veronica says he should have, and he says he ain’t no damn snitch. She says, he has a code. Then he needs to be locked up. She’s not going to help him. He says he’ll remember that. She tells him, do that, and don’t come back. He says, don’t worry; he won’t.

There’s a knock at the door. It’s the FBI, and RK runs upstairs. Veronica yells at him to come down. She opens the door, and says he’s upstairs, but they ask her to come with them. She says, why? On what grounds? Head guy says she can come for questioning, or they can arrest her and take her in. She asks again, on what grounds? He says they’re not the local police. They’re the FBI. They’ll think of something. Now get her ass in the car. She asks if they’re arresting her. He says they can, and she says she’ll have all their badges. Just let her get her purse. He says, no; she won’t. She says, it’s been that kind of day. She’s sick of all of them. Let’s tighten it up.

RK comes downstairs. He can’t believe his luck. He closes the door quietly, and says, that’s more like it. He’s going to make some changes around there. He goes to see what in the kitchen. I’m wondering what’s going to happen when David shows up, and he’s throwing a party or something.

Justin tells Officer Ray, come on. Ray knows he didn’t do this. Ray puts him in a cell, alone, and says he’s just doing his job. Justin asks if Ray can call someone for him. Jeffrey Harrington. Ray says he can’t do that. Justin knows who Jeffrey’s mom is. Justin says, so what? and Ray says, sorry, man.

The guys in the next cell stare at Justin. Justin asks what the hell they’re looking at? Because he’s stupider than he looks, Justin gets too close to the dividing bars, and a dude grabs him. They manage to beat him through the bars.

Next time, Justin is pantsed (yes, that’s how I meant to spell it), Jim isn’t leaving until he gets his money, Scott calls Jim, Candace calls Jim, and David tells Veronica that he wants to kill her. Three episodes left to the season.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Provence, France. A trip which will, no doubt, be wasted on this group. The women gather their luggage. In her interview, LisaR says she loves France, but has never been to Provence. She thinks it’s going to be magical. Teddi asks if it’s all vineyards. She’s having déjà vu. In her interview, Kyle says she loves France. Six years ago, she was in Paris. We flash back to her and LVP visiting the Eiffel Tower. Kyle says it’s weird not have LVP there. LVP kicked her out of the house, and she’s not speaking to anyone. It breaks Kyle’s heart. Denise and Camille were also coming until the last minute. We flash back to them talking about the fire on the way to the airport. LisaR says they had to evacuate, and it doesn’t look good. She and Teddi can’t get phone service in the car.

They gasp, seeing the gated entrance to Chateau Whatever It Is. The staff is lined up on the steps, and Erika says it feels like they’re in a movie. She never felt so rich. Local Host Pascha greets them, and they meet the staff. Dorit feels like she’s be living like a princes in a castle. Pascha hopes they have a wonderful stay, and gives them the tour. I salivate over both the house and its furnishings. She explains the house has been mostly restored to the historic model. It was built in 1612, and Erika is sure previous guests are still floating around. The Great Lawn looks like something at Buckingham Palace. Kyle says it’s seventeen acres, and fully staffed. The women are going to be waited on hand and foot, from breakfast until bedtime.

The group is shown their rooms, which are no less than amazing. In LisaR’s interview, she says they usually stay at a five-star hotel, which she likes, since she gets her space. If there’s a conflict, there’s nowhere to run. I’m confused. Nowhere to run on seventeen acres? They shout at each other through the open casement windows.

Kyle tells the chef about the fire in LA, and how people had to evacuate. She explains that two of the friends they’d expected aren’t coming. The chef gives her a run-down of the dinner menu. The women meet in the sitting room or whatever, and even though they’d said it was casual, they’re dressed up. In her interview, Dorit says, the French countryside, and no glam? But contrary to popular belief, she can travel without her glam squad. They order drinks. In Erika’s interview, she says, don’t tell her they’re going to be casual. Bullsh*t. France equals glamour.

Kyle calls Denise, who still can’t get an update about the evacuated areas. Kyle asks if the fire has been contained, and Denise says it hasn’t. Teddi asks about her house, but Denise doesn’t know. The whole thing sounds horrible. Kyle says they’re thinking about her, and asks her to check in. Dorit says, it’s so scary. Kyle calls Camille, who says she just found out her house is okay. She says, last night was insane. She’s never experienced a massive evacuation. In her interview, she says the fire was moving quickly. She grabbed her important documents, and a Wyeth painting, and they caravanned down the street. Their lives have been misplaced. I can understand this a little, having been through a flood. She tells Kyle, they don’t know what do, or where to go, but they’re safe. She doesn’t want to be a buzzkill. Kyle says everyone loves her. Dorit says, thank God she’s safe. In her interview, LisaR says it’s a relief to know they’re safe. Knowing their friends are suffering, they have to make the best of things, since there’s not much they can do. Teddi reveals that her childhood nickname was Butch because she was tomboyish. Kyle says she was Kyle Bitchards. We find out Dorit stole the family car at thirteen, and outed herself by leaving traces of white chocolate in the backseat. She says she was grounded for about ten years.

Dinner is served, and they sit. In Kyle’s interview, she says she doesn’t care where she is in the world, she’s ordering a margarita. She’s not a rosé person. Teddi says, Butch wants her margarita on the rocks. Her drink is a little intense. Erika doesn’t handle strong drinks at all. LisaR tells them that she has one thing to say, which probably means fifty. She had a good time playing Erika Jayne. Teddi says she thought LisaR lost her mind. Kyle says Erika doesn’t behave like that, and it was weird. LisaR agrees it out of place, but it broke ice with Kim. There was an elephant in the room. Actually a bunny.

In Dorit’s interview, she says, who doesn’t want a private chef and being served? It’s luxury to the nth degree. I’m in. Erika says she’s a little drunk. Kyle wants them know they’re effing amazing. They can all be batsh*t crazy, and things can turn in a second, but she’s thankful they’re there. In Erika’s interview, she says the five of them have been through some stuff on these trips. We flash back to some of the stuff they’ve been through. She says, this place is magical, like some sh*t out of a storybook. She wonders if the drinks are strong or she’s lost her mojo. She might even need a piece of bread.

At 5 am, Dorit is up. She feels sick to her stomach. She woke up to a video of Camille’s full of fire. They’d just spoken to her, and everything was fine. What happened? Teddi shows her what Denise posted. She got all the animals out, but everyone is in gas masks. She feels better about Denise, but her heart is breaking for Camille. In her interview, Teddi says, your mind starts going to the worst place, and you start thinking of your family. She wishes she could turn it off.

At breakfast, Erika asks if she’s the only one wildly hungover. She’s drunk from the night before, and is really hurting. She’s miserable, and at breakfast with effing sunglasses on. Dorit thought she was just being fabulous. Teddi says her coach’s house burned down. She got out with only her PJs. Erika asks if the fire has been contained, but Dorit and Teddi don’t think so. The wind shifted. Kyle is freaking, and says Camille has nothing. LisaR says Camille went from her happiest day to being devastated. Teddi says her house is in good shape. Pascha comes in, and Kyle asks about going to a market. Pascha suggests a local one. The women get ready, and head out.

Erika takes pictures. LisaR wants to focus on the moment. They go into the town, and Kyle says it’s like Amsterdam. She tries on some hats. LisaR says she isn’t ready for cheese. Kyle haggles, and feels overwhelmed. LisaR relents, and eats cheese. Kyle and Dorit become lost to shopping. In Kyle’s interview, she says she’s not leaving without a beret. LisaR wants coffee, and they stop at a café.

Erika seems to be the only one who is fluent in French. They order drinks and peruse the menu. LisaR tells them that Amelia has chosen to study nutrition, wellness, and psychology. After sharing her story, she became an activist. In LisaR’s interview, she says Amelia took something that was an issue for her, and turned it into a tool for helping people. We flash back to Amelia says she doesn’t want this to happen to other people. LisaR says Amelia is still getting through her life, and figuring it out. She’s an addict. Teddi says the fact that Amelia is openly talking about it, means she wants to actually fix it. She asks if they knew before she told them, and LisaR says they saw the best doctors. One feels it’s genetic. Kyle says, she never talks about this; not even to her daughters, but when she was younger, she had her own problems. She gets weepy.

She says she never wanted it to be in her daughters’ heads. When she was seventeen, she was on TV. Her sisters were tiny, cute, blonde, blue-eyed, and skinny. She said she didn’t like her wardrobe on the show, and they said if she lost weight, she’d get a better one. The more compliments she got, the less she ate. She’d take V8, pour it in a bowl, heat it up, and call it her food for the day. She weighed 99 pounds. Some days, all she had was six almonds for food. Her sisters and the models were skinny, and she was self-conscious. In her interview, LisaR says since Amelia opened up, she couldn’t pretend she didn’t know what it feels like. Teddi thinks if you share with your kids, they’ll share with you. LisaR says if she tells them, that doesn’t mean they’ll do it, but Kyle doesn’t want to put it into their heads. LisaR says they already have it in their heads from the world, which is a good point. Dorit suggests having a chat. In Kyle’s interview, she says she was terrified, and wanted them to have a healthy body image. She never says things like she feels fat. She just wants them to be healthy. LisaR says she’s done an amazing job raising her daughters. In Erika’s interview, she thinks it’s brave for Kyle to admit that she struggled with an eating disorder. Erika tells the others, she never had that. She was always a stick figure. Now she’s the heaviest she’s ever been. With all that dancing, I’m sure a lot of it is muscle. In her interview, she says she thinks it’s easier to be vulnerable in front of each other, since they don’t think they’ll be judged, or jabbed at, or the information used at a later date. It feels like a safe space because LVP isn’t there. Oh come on. Can they leave her alone now? They got what they wanted. Move on.

The go to Pont Something-or-Other, and tour the city. The walk on a bridge to nowhere, that extends to the middle of a river. Erika thinks the river kept destroying the bridge, and they just quit rebuilding. She says, it’s a privilege to be on a vacation in Europe. It’s thousands of years of history. Places you think about for the rest of your life.

Dorit calls home, and video chats with the kids. LisaR tries to talk French to Harry. She tells Harry about Denise, Camille, and the fire. She says, Camille lost her house. It burned down. Harry says, it’s tragic. It will be horrible to find out what other friends lost their homes. LisaR says the fire affected many, many of the people they know; whole neighborhoods. Her heart is broken. She says, thank God everyone is okay. At the end of the day, things are replaceable. Erika says hi to Harry, and the women meet downstairs

LisaR declares she likes the drinks. Ooh. I love Kyle’s skirt. It has strings of beads hanging from it like fringe. Everyone looks fantastic. LisaR thinks their group likes looks that are fabulous, except Denise. We flash back to Denise’s casual look, and in her interview, LisaR imitates Denise, saying those bitches are making her raise her game, and she doesn’t want to. She tells them, everyone in the group has style – and Teddi is coming around. In her interview, she says, Teddi raised her fashion game from a year ago. We see a clip of Kyle helping her do some shopping. In Teddi’s interview, she says she didn’t think her style had changed that much, but people keep saying she’s bringing her A-game. She’d thought she’d always been bringing it.

LisaR says, drunk Rinna is here! and kicks her leg in the air like she just don’t care.

At the restaurant, Teddi apologizes in advance for their presence. She orders a skinny margarita, and Kyle is like, not in France. They talk about favoring their dads, and Erika says her father is from El Salvador, which surprises everyone. In Erika’s interview, she says, it doesn’t mean anything. She never meant anything to them, so it’s just part of her heritage. Several of them order hamburgers, and in her interview, Dorit wonders, if they could order anything other than burger in France. She gets it though. They’re American.

Kyle asks LisaR about the Erika Jayne act. She thought it was weird. LisaR says, because she was playing a character, it helped her face Kyle’s sister. In Kyle’s interview, she says using the Erika Jayne persona allowed LisaR to call her sister the c-word. LisaR needs to take responsibility for her own words, since she’s the queen of owning it. LisaR says it flew out of her mouth. It happened, but it led to sitting and having a conversation where they decided to move on and move forward. We flash back to them kissing and making up. Kyle says it seemed inappropriate, since Erika wouldn’t talk like that to anybody. We flash back to (I think) Erika’s first season, when she wore the c-word necklace. LisaR says it was just her interpretation. Teddi says it would hurt her feelings. LisaR says she knows Erika’s feelings aren’t hurt, and Erika says, not at all. Kyle asks if it isn’t a betrayal of who she is. Erika says, it’s just a persona. Teddi says LisaR was hiding behind a character, and it was confusing. LisaR wonders what issue Teddi is having with her, and in her interview, says it’s not her issue, and none of Teddi’s business. Teddi says, it doesn’t make her like LisaR any less, and LisaR says she doesn’t care if Teddi likes her or not. Don’t put it all on her.

Even LisaR realizes how bad that sounds, and says, well, she does care. Teddi says she does. Otherwise, why are they hanging out? In Dorit’s interview, she doesn’t know why Kyle and Teddi are baiting Erika to say something. She thinks Teddi is Kyle’s henchwoman. We flash back to Teddi explaining (Teddi-splainin’) Kyle’s feelings after the concert. In LisaR’s interview, she says if not for Kim, they would have laughed and applauded. It’s just sensitive because Kyle’s sister is involved. Well, yeah… Kyle says everyone was uncomfortable, even Erika, who is starting to look bored at this point. Kind of like I do. Erika says it seems the two of them – meaning LisaR and Kim – came to a resolution.  In Erika’s interview, she says she’s not annoyed that LisaR used the Erika Jayne persona to heal her wound, but she’s annoyed that they’re not letting it go. Dorit says it’s an alter ego who’s free to be whatever. Erika says it’s a performance persona, and quit trying to bait her into the conversation. In Teddi’s interview, she says when she’s uncomfortable, she wants to discuss it immediately. Erika wants to shut it down before it starts. She tells Erika that she’s not being an idiot. She’s trying to have a conversation about something she doesn’t understand. Erika says she’s glad they’ve moved on. In her interview, Erika says if she was going to be upset, she’d have been upset weeks ago, not in France. Stop ruining her night. Kyle says now Erika is upset with them. Erika says she’s okay. In Kyle’s interview, she’s struggling to believe that Erika wouldn’t be embarrassed by being used as an excuse to be rude to someone. I’m struggling to believe anyone can make this big a deal out of pretty much everything.

LisaR says, anyone feel like dessert?

Next time, a helicopter ride, the women do (very good) imitations of each other, Denise goes back to the rubble that was her house, Teddi can’t be a moral compass for everyone, and Erika feels bullied.

👠 No Phobias Here…

While I’ve amassed a nice tea collection, it’s late and it’s been a long week, even though it’s not half over. So I chose the article that says it all after tonight’s RHOBHLVP and her crew at the Pride parade. Despite her Wives estrangement, she’s not letting any moss grow on her.

https://starmagazine.com/photos/lisa-vanderpump-la-pride-parade-vanderpump-rules-cast-photos/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

🎶 A Wednesday Type of Song…

Although I’ll never be able to hear it again without thinking of Reservoir Dogs.

June 10, 2019 – Part Two – A Chef Who Can’t Cook, Lotsa Lisa, Lisa’s Spinoffs, Who Antoinette Went Home With & a Winner

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

👈 Please see previous post for June 10th’s General Hospital.

Below Deck Mediterranean

Nice, France. Mila puts steaks in microwave to warm them up. I hear Gordon Ramsay screaming at her in my head. The steaks are served. Hannah gripes to the other stews about the microwave, but the guests like the food. Even the one who’s tough to please with a steak. Hannah is relieved. In her interview, Mila says she feels happy. It’s good that even though she was sick, she still managed. I’m cursing my life, since not only do Aesha and Anastasia have names that start with the same letter, they look similar. This is going to be a tough season.

Captain Sandy scarfs down a taco. She sees the infamous nacho chips, and asks Hannah how the guests are doing. Hannah says, okay. In Hannah’s interview, she says the last few seasons were rough. We flash back to that. She says communication with the captain is her main priority. She doesn’t want Captain Sandy seeing food, and wondering why Hannah didn’t say anything about it. The captain tells Hannah, the nachos look terrible, and Hannah says that’s why she didn’t take them out. The captain thanks her, and they high-five.

Travis says, they’re rolling towels and living the dream. Hannah asks João for a schedule. He says he’ll stay up until the guests go to bed. The nachos are tossed.

In the morning, Captain Sandy says they’re getting ready to leave, and checks on the guests’ dinner. In the captain’s interview, she thinks the guests are being nice, but she’s being cautious. She asks the crew to return radio one, and Jack brings it back. The last thing he wants is for Captain Sandy pulling his ear like a naughty schoolboy, and slapping his ass on the bridge. She tells them to start hauling anchor. The anchor is home, and they go into gear.

The beach picnic is today, and Hannah wants to go over the meal plan with Mila. Sandwiches and salads should be ready to go at 1:30. Mila says she’ll go and get inspiration, which I think means take a nap. Aesha serves breakfast, pointing out that every dot on a strawberry is an ovary. In her interview, she says, because she’s happy, people think she’s an airhead, but she’s smarter than she appears, and has a double science degree. One of the guests looks up the ovary thing online, and says she’s correct. It does sound like something somebody would make up.

João tells Travis about the schedule. Travis can’t believe he’s lead deckhand. He’s driving blind, and doesn’t know where he’s going with the tender. Captain Sandy says there’s only one beach there. In her interview, she explains they have to find private places for beach picnics, but if the guests want something, they get it. Hannah tells João to quit stalking Brooke’s Instagram. In his interview, he says, as much as he tries to hide his feelings about Brooke, they still linger. He says Hannah has brought an energy this season he never thought he’d see. Rut-roh.

Mila says if she was on a boat, she wouldn’t ask for club sandwiches, but you have to give the guests what they want. She’s making salads, and they’re nearly an hour behind schedule. Hannah doesn’t know how you can be late, making sandwiches for five people. Captain Sandy asks the sky not to rain. The food is on it’s way, and Hannah asks Mila if they don’t need a few things like a knife. In her interview, Hannah says things are happening that shouldn’t happen on a superyacht.

Pointe d’ le Something. At the beach, Aesha radios Hannah, asking for a ten minute warning, but Hannah says the guests are coming now. They arrive, and Aesha welcomes them to lunch. She makes drinks. Back at the yacht, everything is cleaned and tidied. Hannah double-checks everything. She thinks it’s a miracle that it’s all done. She’s happy with a strong third stew in Anastasia. It’s been testy for the past few years. We flash back to the duds. In her interview, Anastasia says she likes being the best at what she does, whether it’s cleaning toilets or cooking a five-course meal. Thank you. I’m with her on that.

In the galley, Mila tells João and Jack about pursuing her culinary school dream.

Aesha realizes they forgot the tequila. In her interview, Hannah says she has so many balls in the air, she’s not surprised she dropped one. She needs everyone to do their jobs. João brings two bottles. Colin says he’s like Aquaman. He’s got the goods, and he’s saving the day. Then Colin ruins it. João tosses the bottles to him, and he drops one.

Captain Sandy sees rain coming, and hopes it goes the other way. Jack says he’s going to make her the best tea on board. He doesn’t think she’s seen him at his best yet. Mila says the guests have requested Italian tonight, but she can’t give them prosciutto, since there’s no machine to slice it properly. Hanna says she has Mila’s back, but in her interview, Mila says she hates fake people, and thinks Hannah is fake. Well, she’s just a co-worker. Who cares?

A storm comes up, and the captain hears thunder. She tells João to get the guests back in the boat. Everything on deck is covered. On the beach, Jay says, it comes in fast. Hannah radios João, and tells him to help pack up and get the guests back. Aesha says, they’re coming. The captain greets them, saying she didn’t want them struck by lightning. João goes back again, and helps Colin pack up at super speed.

Jack wants quick cuppa tea, but João suggests he help with the work. Jack says he’s not standing in the rain, but João says he will if they need him too. In João’s interview, he says Jack should think like the engineer he is. If João is going to be a more efficient as a leader. he has to figure out what motivates Jack. This is a good question. Does anything? Hannah asks Captain Sandy how the weather is looking, and the captain thinks it might pass, but they should have dinner inside, since she still hears thunder. Hannah tells Mila that Carol wants a white cake with white frosting for her birthday. In Mila’s interview, she says she’s not a cake person. She didn’t do a patisserie course, and hopes they like it. Come on, man. How hard is it? Even I can bake a decent cake.

The table is set, balloons are blown up, and crepe paper is streamed. Captain Sandy decides she’ll try and slice the prosciutto. Her father was in the meat business. She tells Mila. you don’t give up. If the guests want ham, they get ham. Holy! She is really good at that, slicing it thin with a big knife. She says it’s like being back in the meat shop, which she never liked, but it made her night to contribute. I like Captain Sandy because you know she’d never ask you to do something she wouldn’t do. That’s a good boss.

The guests get ready. The stews try the cake, and at first it’s all yum, but then Anastasia says she bit into some baking powder. They realize it the baking powder taste is too strong. In her interview, Anastasia says, it’s baking soda in cake form; it’s disgusting. Hannah says she can’t serve it to the guests. Mila insists it’s not that strong, and says she’ll serve it. I always forget they don’t wear shoes on the yacht, and get startled when I see their feet. Hannah takes a piece of the cake to Captain Sandy, who says, wow. It’s so bad. She says they’re in trouble. She’ll handle it. In her interview, she says a lot of chefs are good at cooking, but not baking. However, a yacht chef has to do both. She can’t discuss all that now, because there’s no time. She has to get Mila to focus on the food and making a good meal. Anastasia suggests cupcakes. In her interview, she says she was a chef on the last boat she worked on, and thinks there’s no excuse. Baking is in her blood. Her mom was a pastry chef, and she’s got this. She tells everyone what she needs, and Hannah tells the captain that Anastasia is taking over with the cake.

Carol thinks the décor is really pretty. Anastasia rocks cake making. Captain Sandy tests the batter, and loves it. She says, teamwork. Jack hides while the other guys work. Hannah serves a caprese salad.  Anastasia says she was happy to bang out another cake. Jack sits in the galley, eating. In her interview, Anastasia says she has a dirty mind, but she’s not promiscuous. She’d rather watch the Gilmore Girls. Truffle pasta is served. Carol says, it’s beyond good. Mila ices the cake. Hannah calls the crew to sing, and tells Anastasia to carry the cake since she made it. In Mila’s interview, she says she feels bad already, and Hannah had to say Anastasia made the cake in front of everyone. Don’t give her a fake smile next time. Happy Birthday is sung, and Carol blows out the candles. She says she’s going to cry. In the galley, Captain Sandy says, good job, and she and Jack clink teacups. The cake is served, and Jay says it’s the best cake he’s ever had. He asks if Mila does the baking, and Aesha says Anastasia baked the cake. Mila is annoyed with Aesha, and says it was nice of her to let the guests know. Aesha says they asked, and she wasn’t going to lie. Besides, Anastasia deserved it. For whatever reason, Mila refuses to believe the guests asked about the cake. I’m starting to think Mila might not last through the season. She gripes to Anastasia, who doesn’t think Aesha meant anything by it, adding the day has been stressful. Mila says she knows what was being said. Colin and João talk about Hannah and Mila going after each other, and João compares them to cats.

Breakfast served. In Anastasia’s interview, she says, Aesha is crazy and inappropriate, and the guests love her. The guests continue to rave about the cake, saying Anastasia is so talented, which must be killing Mila. Anchor is hauled up. Jack says he’s not experienced in that, and has no clue what’s going on. He’s just out there to get some sun. I don’t know if he’s lasting either. João discusses the lines with the captain. In his interview, he says although he’s worked with her, it’s never been in this position. He needs to prove she can trust him under pressure. If she trusts him now, she’ll trust him all season. He asks Travis to do some nautical things. In Travis’s interview, he says people who work on yachts think they’re all that, even though they’re really an effing janitor on a floating toilet. But if his boss tells him to do something, he’ll do it.

The guests pack. The captain says there’s a bit of current, and docking is a little tricky. João and Travis help guide her in. Jack asks if he could be shown how to do it next time. Captain Sandy says, maybe, and tells João that he did nicely. He says, nailed it, and he and Travis high-five.

Aesha says she got a head start on going out. She’s soaked her tampon in vodka. Hey, I just report what I’m seeing and hearing. In her interview, she says she’d never do that, but it sounds interesting, and she’d like someone else to try it. Maybe she can get Jack to do it. The guests don’t want to leave. The crew is called to the dock. Jay gets weepy, and says they’re amazing. It was the greatest vacation of his life. He wishes them a great season. In her interview, Mila says Russian men don’t cry, even at their mother’s funerals. It makes her feel uncomfortable and weird. Geez, the dude is probably crying because he has to go back to work soon. And didn’t she spend a bunch of time in France? I bet they cry there.

Tip time! The captain says, in spite of Mila being sick, they came together. She thanks the interior for taking charge in the galley. She can trust them. She doesn’t know about Jack though. In Jack’s interview, he says it’s lucky he has his smile. He paid enough for it, so he’s using it to get himself out of trouble. The tip is 13K euros, which I had to look up, and it translates to $14,706.19 – 1175 euros each, or $1329.21. They have some champagne, and laugh a lot. The boat is cleaned up, and the crew cleans themselves up. Sitting outside, Mila asks if Jack prefers boys, and he tells her, piss off.

Captain Sandy calls Mila to the bridge. In her interview, the captain says just because the charter guests liked the food, doesn’t mean it’s up to standard, and she knows what standard is. She needs to see the standards of someone who was trained in Paris. She shows Mila photos of how she should be plating food. Ouch. But yeah, her plating is crummy. Those MasterChef Junior kids are a million times better. She tells Mila that she’s been doing this a long time, and worked with a lot of chefs. She has to know Mila can do this, and right now, she doesn’t know. She had a rough start because she was sick, but she’s not sick now. Captain Sandy says, let’s do this. She has it, right? Mila nods, and in her interview, says she’s grateful for the captain’s opinion. Captain Sandy’s words make her feel like she really wants to perform more. She worded it like that, not me.

Jack can’t believe Mila with her hair all blown out. He says she thought he was gay, and Travis says, it’s a compliment. Jack says he didn’t think he was giving that vibe. Mila comes by with beer, and asks if they’re stepping out tonight. Jack says he’ll step out with her.

Everyone heads out. In Jack’s interview, he explains that he was going out with girl when he left. He was honest, and told her that he wouldn’t be loyal. He’s going out for a few drinks, and a little wiggle. And maybe have a crack on with one of the girls. Who knows what will happen? In the car, Colin asks how dinner was. Mila is in the other car, and Hannah says, the experience or the food? She thinks if you’re working on a yacht this size, and serve that kind of food, you’re not a good chef. She’s not being a bitch. She thinks Mila is a nice person.

In the other car, Travis says, Russians are homophobes, and Mila agrees. She’s also happy to be one. She doesn’t care what people do at home, but she doesn’t want her son growing up seeing two men kissing, and think it’s normal. It’s not.

João says Mila is sweet, and Hanna says, she’s a lovely person. I laugh, thinking, just wait. Mila says she’s proud of Putin, and glad he doesn’t let them have gay parades in their country. Travis tells her, STFU. Get out of the van. Um… he’s not driving, so I don’t think he gets a say in that. Travis says he’s never going to speak with her again. Maybe he’s been with men, or maybe those are his friends. Mila tells him, all she said is that she doesn’t want to see it openly. He says her opinion of gay people is her opinion of humanity. She says, it’s not normal. Is being with an animal normal? There’s a millisecond of silence, where they all can’t believe what they just heard. In Travis’s interview, he says, her mindset is warped. He tells her to sit at the opposite end of the table, calling her an oxygen thief.

Next time, the primary is Captain Sandy’s friend the vibrator queen, Colin gets hurt, Hannah doesn’t want to work with a homophobic pr*ck who can’t cook, the guests don’t like the food, and Anastasia gets put in the galley.

💋 Lots of LVP…

Her evolution.

https://pagesix.com/2019/06/07/the-evolution-of-lisa-vanderpump/slide-1/?utm_source=maropost&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=nypdaily&utm_content=20190608&tpcc=morning_report&mpweb=755-8023016-711673032

Skipping the reunion.

https://www.eonline.com/shows/daily_pop/videos/289720/lisa-vanderpump-skips-rhobh-reunion-andy-cohen-reacts?cmpid=enewsvideo&content=Trending&source=taboola&medium=Below-Article-Thumbnails-Card-1

Why she quit.

http://extratv.com/2019/06/07/lisa-vanderpump-opens-up-about-why-she-quit-rhobh/?adid=extra_eme_27058_2019-06-07_rightnow4

And who might replace her.

https://radaronline.com/exclusives/2019/06/kathy-hilton-in-talks-to-replace-lisa-vanderpump-on-rhobh/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

🌴 And On Lisa’s Coattails…

Restaurant drama with the Vanderpump Rules cast.

https://pagesix.com/2019/06/07/vanderpump-rules-cast-gets-competing-bachelorettes-booted-from-party/?utm_source=maropost&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=pagesixdaily&utm_content=20190608&tpcc=pagesix_daily&mpweb=755-8023017-711673032

https://pagesix.com/2019/06/08/vanderpump-rules-producers-create-restaurant-drama-in-miami/?utm_source=maropost&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=pagesixdaily&utm_content=20190609&tpcc=pagesix_daily&mpweb=755-8024469-711673032

To prenup or not to prenup.

https://starmagazine.com/photos/vpr-lala-kent-randall-emmett-prenup-lisa-vanderpump/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

I doff my cap to Stassi.

https://starmagazine.com/photos/vpr-stassi-schroeder-makeup-free-psoriasis-selfie/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

More Jax and Brittany pre-wedding festivities. Stassi’s suit is a no. Just no. As a matter-of-fact, none of the suits are all that attractive. Maybe Lala’s.

https://starmagazine.com/photos/vpr-brittany-cartwright-bachelorette-lala-kent-bikinis/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

Warning: boobies ahead.

https://radaronline.com/photos/vanderpump-rules-star-kristen-doute-poses-topless/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

🏆 And You Get a Tony…

Everything about the awards in a nutshell.

https://nypost.com/2019/06/09/tony-awards-2019-best-and-worst-moments-full-winners-list/?utm_source=maropost&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=nypdaily&utm_content=20190610&tpcc=morning_report&mpweb=755-8025721-711673032

🍱 A Combination…

The Tony Awards, Pride month, and one of my favorite songs from a musical.

 

June 7, 2019 – Jordan Wakes Up But Ryan Doesn’t, a Househusband Resurfaces, LVP Is Done, Too Close For Comfort, New Shah Revealed, a Half Dozen Plus One Quotes & Another One

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Again I was a little late, but listening.

Carly finds Jax in the living room with a surfboard. He says he can explain, and she says, start talking.

Doc tells Laura that Ryan’s coma is considered an unintended consequence of surgery, but it’s okay with him if Ryan never wakes up.

Every model in the world is booked for September, and Maxie suggests Ava for the Crimson cover.

At Charlie’s, Franco tells Ava that the universe has a way of working things out. Something good came out of something rotten. Ryan is in a coma, and when he wakes up, he’ll be down a kidney and going to Pentonville, a fate worse than death. She says she keeps hearing Ryan taunting her, and Franco says, the best thing to do with a guy like Ryan is to forget him. He thought he was smart, and eight steps ahead of everyone, but he was wrong. He lost, and they won.

TJ tells Stella and Curtis that everything is going great with Jordan. Curtis sees Elizabeth holding the DNR, and asks why she has that. He thought it was a routine surgery. Finn says, it is, but so is a DNR. Any ime anesthetic is involved, it’s a matter of practice that the patient is given that option. Stella says there’s always an off-chance, and Jordan wanted to be safe. TJ says it doesn’t mean they wouldn’t save her, but if she was in a vegetative state, she didn’t want them leaving her there. Which they would.

Laura thanks Doc for telling her the truth. Doc asks if she isn’t disappointed, and she says, no. She’s not sure it’s what she would have done, but she sees why he did. He saved a life, and she can’t find fault in that. She loves him. He thanks her, and says he loves her too. She asks how he feels, and he says, fine. He thought he’d feel guilty, but his brother would never voluntarily give up a kidney. Jordan is alive, and will be with them a long time, and it’s hard to find fault with that. He didn’t bow to the tyranny of Ryan; the illusion he could save him that stems from childhood. Laura says, survivor guilt. Doc is the kid who got away. Doc says he finally realized he has no control and no power over who got hurt. This experience finally gave him the knowledge that he had no more control than Ryan, and had no more choices than he did. He only has a choice as an adult, and as an adult, he chose to maintain his brother.

Jax thinks it will be great for Josslyn to catch a wave. It’s fun and she’ll connect with nature. It will be good for her. Carly says they don’t want to push her, and he says he knows she needs time to cry and process everything, but she also needs to live in the moment, and know, whatever happens, life is still beautiful. He thinks it will help her. Carly tells him, if he says so. He says she’s only resistant because she never wanted to learn. She says she’s a Florida girl, and loves everything about the beach. She just had no desire to surf because her body is her board. He says she just doesn’t want be bad at something. She says it’s true she doesn’t want to look like an idiot falling off, but she’s happy Josslyn learned before she knew what she was doing. He says, Josslyn can’t remember a time when she didn’t surf, and Carly says, thanks to him. She tells Jax that she’s so scared for Josslyn. She’s so young, and this is so huge. Jax sits next to her, and takes her hand. He says she’ll be more than okay. She has them to hold her up.

Carly gives Jax something to drink, and he says he doesn’t know whether to wait there or track her down. Carly says she struggles with that all the time. He asks what side she leans on, and Carly suggests he put the surfboard in Josslyn’s room, and let her find it then. Then, on Saturday, he can call and say, hey, let’s go surfing. Jax’s phone dings, and he says, that was quick. The budget for Crimson is in. Carly says, what? He says he told her that he was going to find something to keep him busy while he was in town. He bought half of Aurora Media; the print division. She says, awesome, but he says she sounds thrown. She thinks it’s a perfect fit, and it’s great he’ll be in the MetroCourt offices. He says, but…? She asks if Drew knows much about him. He asks if she’s implying he’s hard to work with. He admits he likes things to go his way, and is actually a bit of a control freak, but he and Drew have an agreement. While Crimson is still under the umbrella of Aurora, the divisions are completely separate. Carly says, neighbors, but not collaborators, and congratulates him.

Nina tells Maxie that she’s out of her mind, and Sasha says that’s the only explanation. Maxie says she knew it would be a hard sell. Sasha says she’s living proof that Ava is a complete psychopath. Maxie says, tell her why, and Sasha says this horrible woman comes out of nowhere, chats her up, and makes it clear Kiki and Griff weren’t serious. Friends with benefits, she said.  Of course (🍷) she flirted, and Kiki was offended, as she should be. Not only were she and Griff dating, they were exclusive. Kiki kicked her out, and it turns out Ava is a complete whack-job who set her up. Sasha decided to just get on with her life. She ordered room service, and woke up drugged, without clothes, next to Griff in bed. Nina says, sounds like a magazine cover to her. Sasha says the only reason she didn’t press charges was that Kiki and Griff wanted to handle it on their own. Maxie says, it’s Nina’s turn.

Ava asks Franco if now is the time to pick herself up, dust herself off, and start the next chapter. Franco says, a million yups. Ava says she slept with her daughter’s murderer. It’s not easy to move on from that. Franco says if there’s a poster boy for second chances, she’s looking a him. What does he have to thank for that? She says, a brain tumor? He says, after ten minutes, people move on to the next wave of hysteria. Ryan’s had his ten minutes, and he’s done. Hers has just started. There will always be people in the world who will look sideways at people like them, but she can have a great life, which is the best revenge.

Laura tells Doc, it sounds like a breakthrough. Fantastic. He says he still has a lot of work to do. He thinks it will be easier when Ryan is moved to Pentonville. He’s not going to visit Ryan, and is cutting off all contact. He’s truly, finally letting him go. Laura can’t tell him how happy she is. She knows it’s not easy. Doc says, whatever horrible circumstances led Ryan to this, he chose it, and embraced it, and these are the consequences of his actions. At least his life isn’t a total loss. He saved Jordan. Laura says. that counts for something.

Stella tells Curtis that Jordan wanted to cover every possibility and eventuality, but her chances are better than excellent that it won’t be needed. But just in case, those are Jordan’s wishes. Jordan said Stella needed to make that clear, but it’s not something they need to worry about, Curtis doesn’t get it. It’s a straightforward surgery; it seems unnecessary. TJ says, it feels endless. First, the car accident. then they thought Jordan was in the clear, and the bottom falls out again with her kidney. Now they feel like they almost made it, and it’s something new, but he’s come far enough in his training to know when they say standard procedure, it is. There are no guarantees but odds are hugely in his mom’s favor. They couldn’t say that before, but they can now. If even a minute of worry was taken away from her, it’s a good thing. They want every worry taken off, so Jordan’s mind focuses on staying strong. Curtis says, not that he had any doubts, but TJ is going to make one helluva doctor.

Finn and Elizabeth approach them. Curtis says he takes it that their smiles mean it’s good. Finn says, the operation was a success. Elizabeth tells them, Jordan is in recovery right now. Curtis, Stella, and TJ group hug.

Jax tells Carly that the surfboard is on Josslyn’s desk. She asks if Josslyn is aware of his plans to stay being official. He says he was telling her this weekend. Carly says, she’ll be happy. She’s happy he’s staying, but it’s one thing for him and Sonny to be in the same town for an extended period. It’s another for him to stay permanently. They’ll be spending a lot of time together, and she’s hoping they keep the spirit of mutual cooperation. Her plea for peace over. He says, if they want coexist, they will. He asks her to call when Josslyn finds the surfboard.

Nina tells Maxie that she’s not doing this. Maxie says it will be cathartic, and Nina says Ava is not going to be on the cover. Maxie asks Nina to humor. Nina thinks it’s a waste of time, but she will. Nina says she got married young to Silas, and her mother hired Ava to seduce him. They had an affair, and when Nina had her psychotic break, she gave Ava a drug to induce labor. She’s not proud of that, but learned sometimes you have to hit rock bottom to reinvent yourself. She regrets her actions, but it’s not like she’s feeling bad for Ava. She’s a grasping, poisonous bitch. Why would Nina put her on the cover? Maxie says, because she’s a grasping, poisonous bitch, and that’s what sells.

Franco asks Ava, what’s going on with the gallery? Does she have any plans for the next exhibit. Ava says, no, and he asks if she’s heard from any artists. She says, there are a few she has to call back. He suggests she get the next young visionary on her walls. She says she’s also heard from a few collectors, and he says he’s not surprised. She has reputation to uphold, and needs to uphold it. She asks why he cares, and he says she knows why. She’s had enough taken from her by Ryan. Don’t let him take anything else.

Laura knows that Doc said he’s letting it go, and putting it behind him, and she believes that, but she sees a flicker of conflict when he looks at Ryan, like a lingering what if? He says he’s working on it, and she says she knows he’ll defeat it. Maybe this will help. She knows what happened to Ryan is tragic, but it happened to a lot of other children, and they didn’t grow up to be serial killers. Look around. There are a lot of people who suffered trauma, and go on with life. A life that’s full and productive, and they even raise their own families. Doc says, it happens, and she says she thinks it happens a lot. Abuse can explain why someone becomes twisted, but it doesn’t excuse it. Not for anybody. Not for Ryan. Doc looks in the window of Ryan’s room.

Elizabeth tells Jordan that she did great. She wants to make sure Jordan’s pain is under control, and places the button in her hand.

Curtis asks Finn when he can see Jordan, and Finn says as soon as Elizabeth is done. Elizabeth comes out, and Curtis puts a gown on and goes in. I wonder why no gloves, especially when he touches her hand. She opens her eyes, and he says she’s back.

Nina tells Maxie that they’re not going to get new subscribers with one cover. Maxie says, if they do it right, it might push the subscriptions up, and they can charge double for ad revenue. Sasha’s phone dings, and she says Michael wants to meet her. Nina says, go. She and Maxie can take care of it. Sasha leaves, and Nina says she didn’t want to say this in front of her. She doesn’t want Sasha to see this part of her, but she hates Ava more than God hates sin. She’s not lowering herself by exploiting Kiki’s death. Maxie says they’ll keep the focus on Ava. Let her tell as much or as little as she wants to about Kiki. Nina think they’d be protecting Ava by letting her play the sad, grieving mother. She made Kiki’s life miserable. She’s not doing it. She’d rather bankrupt the magazine than put Ava’s face on the cover. Macie says, then she’s letting Ava win.

Carly goes to her doctor’s appointment, and says she thinks she has a future athlete on her hands. She wonders if the MASFP test is just a glorified blood test, and if it’s necessary. Is it better to go through the anxiety that comes along with it, or trust the CVS test? She feels they’re just screening for things because they can. The doctor says, it’s a balancing act between necessary and overboard, but with Carly’s history, she’s in favor of checking all the boxes. Carly says, okay. Better safe than sorry. Let’s do it.

Michael hopes he didn’t take Sasha away from anything important. Sasha says when Nina hears it’s him, she literally says, go; fly like the wind. She says his text was cryptic; how do you feel about small planes? She says she’s fine with them. He says it’s an eight seater. He’d like to take her with him to Martha’s Vineyard.

TJ and Stella look at in on Jordan. TJ walks away, and leans against the wall. Stella tells him that she’s proud of him and how he handled this. He’s had to be a grown up and a doctor, and is probably just as scared as they are. He says she always thinks he’s perfect. She says she doesn’t lie. They all believe in him. He says it gives him the confidence to keep going, and thanks her. Having a strong kickass woman on his side matters. They hug.

Jordan tells Curtis that she already feels better. He says, this nightmare finally over, and kisses her hand.

Nina tells Maxie, Ava will think of herself as a hero. Maxie says, Ava always considers herself the hero of her own story. Nina says, she’s a shallow, despicable, vain human being, and Maxie says their readers aren’t stupid. They’ll see her for who she is. And Nina gets to make money off of her, using her by playing to her weakness. Nina says, vanity. Jax walks in, but Nina says she can’t talk. She needs to track down Ava.

Michael is concerned that he’s freaked Sasha out. They just started whatever it is they’re doing, and he’s asking her to go away with him. Sasha says she’s looking at him like this because Martha’s Vineyard is her favorite place on earth. She’s just surprised. Michael says he’s meeting with a venture capitalist, who asked him to stay at his place for a few days. He thought it would be fun to go together. She says, it sounds incredible. She’s in 100%. She tells him that she’s excited, and he says, him too.

Franco looks in on Ryan. He asks Laura how the patient is, and she says, next stop, Pentonville. He says, home, sweet home. Elizabeth tells them that Jordan is awake, and swears she already feels better. Doc says they pulled it off, and Franco says, they did. Laura says, technically, Ryan did. With the stroke of a pen. Doc looks at Franco. A lightbulb goes on over my head.

TJ calls Jordan a rock star. She thanks them, and Stella says, it’s time to celebrate. TJ tells Jordan that the documentary on snowy owl migration is coming out next month at a select few theaters. Jordan says TJ was looking forward to it, and Curtis says he’s glad she made it. There’s no way he was going. Stella wants TJ to help her go shopping. The food there leaves something to be desired, and she wants to make something tasty for Jordan’s first meal. Jordan says she doesn’t have to, but Curtis says, let her. He’s hungry. TJ and Stella leave. Curtis says thank God everything worked out.

Maxie tells Jax that she’s had no chance to suck up to her new boss. He says he’s fine, and she tells him, suit himself. He asks what Nina was saying about Ava, but Maxie says, it’s not about Ava; it’s about Nina, and how much she loves the magazine. She’d do anything to make it successful, and if this works out, they’ll get revenue and Ava will get what she deserves.

Ava leaves a message, asking if a collector is still interested in a Matisse, and if so, call her back. Nina says she’s been looking for Ava. Ava asks what she wants, and Nina says, to offer her the cover of Crimson.

Sasha says, it’s so amazing. They have to ride a carousel; it’s non-negotiable. She also suggests fishing and a lighthouse. Michael says his buddy told him to check the beaches near the lighthouse, and Sasha laughs. She tells him that she knows why. Bathing suits are optional. He says they’re definitely going then. She says she has to pack, and he says she doesn’t need a suit. She tells him, if it’s optional for her, it is for him too.

The doctor tells Carly to try and relax. Carly says she’ll do her best, and asks if the doctor can rush the results. The doctor says she’ll do her best.

Curtis asks if he can get Jordan anything, but she says she’s good. She asks if he’s okay, and he says, better than okay. It all worked out. He honestly didn’t know if they’d get there. He hoped and prayed, but didn’t know. Jordan says, it’s unbelievable really, that Ryan changed his mind and gave her a kidney. Curtis says, the Lord works in mysterious ways. Jordan says, you’re telling me.

Ryan is wheeled out on a gurney by some cops. Elizabeth, Franco, and Finn watch. Laura comes out, and Doc joins her. They all look at each other. Ryan is wheeled into the elevator as they watch. The elevator doors close, and they all go back to work.

On Monday, Nina wants to give Ava an opportunity to tell the world, Diane asks what Willow suggests she do, and Shiloh asks someone how he goes about tracking a person down.

❓ Remember Him?

There’s really no reason you should.

https://www.eonline.com/news/1046825/real-housewives-of-atlanta-s-apollo-nida-released-from-prison-after-5-years?source=email&medium=emn-content-5&cmpid=evening&content=emn-news

💔 My Heart…

And where she goes, Giggy goes.

http://extratv.com/2019/06/04/did-lisa-vanderpump-just-quit-rhobh/?adid=extra_eme_27055_2019-06-05_rightnow3

😱 I Can’t…

At least I don’t think so. I have to draw the line somewhere, and I think mothers and daughters sharing bathwater might be it.

https://nypost.com/2019/06/05/my-mom-and-i-know-its-sick-but-were-each-others-real-husbands/?utm_source=maropost&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=nypdaily&utm_content=20190606&tpcc=morning_report&mpweb=755-8017661-711673032

https://nypost.com/2019/06/06/smothered-mom-and-daughter-we-got-our-boobs-done-together/?utm_source=maropost&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=nypdaily&utm_content=20190607&tpcc=morning_report&mpweb=755-8020535-711673032

https://pagesix.com/2019/06/06/the-mother-daughter-duos-on-smothered-will-make-you-cringe/?utm_source=maropost&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=pagesixdaily&utm_content=20190607&tpcc=pagesix_daily&mpweb=755-8020536-711673032

👶 Baby Shams…

I can already see the resemblance.

https://pagesix.com/2019/06/05/shahs-star-mj-javid-shares-first-picture-of-son-shams/?utm_source=maropost&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=pagesixdaily&utm_content=20190606&tpcc=pagesix_daily&mpweb=755-8017662-711673032

💬 Quotes of the Week

When you’re tiny, you have to be tough. This world isn’t kind to little things.Truman Capote (Toby Jones), Infamous

She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon. – Groucho Marx

A leader is someone knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.John C. Maxwell

The Fyre Festival was an amazing idea. – Ja Rule, not reading the room, from The Skimm

Without music, life would be a mistake.Friedrich Nietzsche

Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them. – Lemony Snicket

I’m too busy to be bitchy. – my new tagline

👋 Until We Meet On Sunday…

I’m in a bit of a rush, and hoping that’s not reflected in the editing. And if it is, I hope it’s something that makes you laugh.

 

 

 

June 4, 2019 – Ryan Makes a Decision, a Wrong Supposition, Kyle Plans a Trip, Losing LVP, Another 90 & Provence

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Carly tells Sonny that she just saw her first firefly. I’m baffled, thinking she means the first ever, but she means this season. She asks if he remembers when Morgan would try to get them to follow him in. Sonny says, he didn’t want to catch them, and wanted them to follow him. That way, they could be friends. She says, he loved this time of year; school ending, and summer on the way. Sonny says, he’d leave the house, and not come back until dinner. She says, Josslyn is the same way, but not this year. There’s no excitement, no smile, no laughter. She doesn’t know what to do about it. Josslyn comes in with her guitar, and says she took an online lesson. She’s trying to build on the chords Oscar was teaching her. She plays for them.

In Tanzania, Drew comes to Kim’s room with Oscar’s ashes. He didn’t know if she wanted them in his room or hers. She downs some coffee, and he asks if she thinks that’s a good idea. They have a long hard climb ahead. She says she’ll be ready. He tells her Kilimanjaro is the biggest mountain in Africa. She says she doesn’t want to sleep.

TJ tells Jordan that he can’t believe that bastard won’t give her a kidney. Instead, he’s giving her a death sentence. She says she wants him to forgive Ryan – and forgive her.

Someone puts an injection into a sleeping Ryan’s IV. The machine starts beeping, and he wakes up. He begins to have a seizure.

Curtis sits in the waiting area. Stella sees him, and says she takes it Ryan refuses save Jordan.

Elizabeth and Finn run into Ryan’s room. Elizabeth says he’s seizing. Finn holds Ryan, asking if he okay. He asks if Ryan can hear him, and says he had a seizure. He says, don’t try talk. They’re going to take some tests to find out why it happened, and prevent it from happening again. Ryan says he’s going to die.

In a hallway, Franco takes off a pair of surgical gloves, and tosses them in the trash. Cameron asks when he became a doctor. He’s wondering what Franco needs gloves for.

Drew asks Kim, what’s wrong, aside from having to scatter Oscar’s ashes? Why doesn’t she want to sleep? She says, because when she sleeps, she dreams Oscar is still alive. It’s so real that she wakes up, and goes into his bedroom, fully expecting to see him there, and he’s not. So she’d rather stay awake. Even as much agony as it is, it’s better than losing him over and over again.

Carly loves that Josslyn is making good use of Oscar’s guitar. Josslyn says she wanted to learn before Oscar died. He was in the middle of teaching her, but she’d get impatient, and ask him to play instead. They never got very far. Sonny says she’s a natural, and they’ll get her lessons after she finishes school. She says she’d like that. She’s supposed to make plans and keep moving. Carly tells her to feel whatever she’s feeling, and come to them when she needs help. Sonny says, it will take a while to get on track. Josslyn keeps thinking about Oscar’s final words. He told her everything would be all right; that she would be all right, and she promised him that she would be Carly says she’ll get there. Take it day by day, and somehow remember to breathe. Josslyn doesn’t want to breathe. She doesn’t want to be dead, but it’s hard. She’ll do it for Oscar, and for everyone who’s supporting her. Carly feels the baby move, and asks Josslyn if she wants to feel her little brother or sister. Josslyn puts her hand on Carly’s stomach, and says she can feel it. They all smile.

Josslyn says, amazing, and a little weird. There’s a person inside Carly’s body. She asks what it feels like, and Carly says like she swallowed a bunch of butterflies. Josslyn says, stuff just got real. There’s a little life in there. Sonny says it scares him to death. There’s a little person waiting to be born, who needs to be loved and protected. He doesn’t want to fail. It’s the most beautiful thing in the world, and the most terrifying thing in the world. Carly says, true. Having a baby is crazy. Sonny says, a reminder that life goes on.

Franco tells Cameron that he was using acetone to clean up some paint. It eats at the skin. Cameron says it sounds nasty, and Franco says, cleaning up is nasty business, which is an interesting choice of words. He asks how Cameron is doing, and Cameron says, with? Franco says, Oscar’s death. He must miss his friend. Cameron says if he wants to talk about Oscar, or anything, he’ll Franco know. He leaves, and Elizabeth comes out. She tells Franco that Ryan had a seizure, and is getting tests. Franco says, good. He hopes that’s the end of him.

TJ asks what Jordan did that needs forgiveness. She says she tries not to dwell on what she’d do differently, but she’s sorry for the time she missed with him.

Stella tells Curtis that she’ll talk to Ryan, but he says, leave it be. She says she most certainly will not. He says he doesn’t want her in the same room with that twisted freak. She says if he’s going to tell her that he thinks Ryan will manipulate her, she just might be offended.

Josslyn asks how she’s supposed to not think about Oscar, and get used to him not being there. Carly says, you never get used to the absence of someone you love. You just kind of grow around it. Other people come into your life, and take up space in your heart, and one day you find yourself surrounded by friends and family. You look up, and realize you didn’t think about the loss for just a minute. You were able to let go. That minute stretches to another minute, then an hour. The hole in your heart is still there; it just aches little less. Sonny tells her to keep Oscar’s memory tucked away, and eventually it will be a comfort. He promises. Carly says, until then, her family will be there for her. They’ll always take care of her. She holds Josslyn.

Kim tells Drew that she knew losing Oscar would be the most painful experience of her life. The most unimaginable pain. She didn’t know how to prepare for it. She’s not a person who likes to be caught off guard. She’s a doctor, and like procedure and facts, but it’s not about her being doctor. She’s a mother who lost her son. Drew sits next to her, and she says she doesn’t know how to feel from one moment to the next. She doesn’t know if she’ll burst out in tears when she’s pumping gas, or come across Oscar’s coat in the hall closet and smile. (While I’ve never lost a child, I can totally identify with this.) She doesn’t know how she’s going to do this. How is she going to make the journey up the mountain to scatter their son’s ashes. Drew says he’ll tell her how; because she’s a great mother. She says she thought it would help, but she doesn’t know what do with it, or how say goodbye for last time to her only child. Drew doesn’t think you ever say goodbye, but he makes her a promise. As long as he’s alive, she doesn’t have to do it alone. They hug.

Elizabeth tells Franco the alarms went off, and she couldn’t help think it’s what Ryan deserves. He doesn’t know how she manages to be a kind and healing nurse. She says, it’s her job. She spent time with Jordan earlier, and thanked her for Franco’s award. He says it still blows him away. As sick as Jordan is, she found the energy to acknowledge him. Elizabeth says he did something heroic, but he says he didn’t volunteer, and was pretty much bitching the whole time. He’s glad Jordan coerced him though. Sometimes the end justifies the means.

Curtis says he appreciates Stella trying, but it won’t do no good. She asks how he knows. He says they’re going to fight with everything they have. Stella says he’s done everything he can and more. Let her have a go. Finn approaches them, and says he has news about Ryan.

TJ understands what Jordan had do and why. It’s not a pretty story, but somehow through it all, her, him, Curtis, and Aunt Stella are a family. Jordan thanks him, and he says he can’t lose her. He wants her to see him become a doctor and hold her grandbabies. He wants to make her proud. She hugs him, and says, he has. a million times over. There’s a knock at the door, and Finn, Stella and Curtis come in. Finn says he has something to tell them about Ryan.

Josslyn practices on the terrace. Cameron comes out, and says she’s getting better. When she builds up calluses, it will be easier. She calls him Mr. Stealth Guitar Player, and asks when he started playing. He tells her, seventh grade. He had detention, and the teacher said it would be in both their interests to keep him occupied, and keep his fingers busy. So he taught Cameron guitar. Josslyn asks why he never told anyone, and he says he didn’t think it fit his image. The teacher gave him the guitar at the end of the year, and he’s been playing ever since. He didn’t get serious until… Josslyn says, Oscar got sick. Cameron says, music can let you say things you don’t have the words to say.

Finn says Ryan’s seizure turned out to be an allergic reaction to one of his medications. Stella asks if Ryan’s kidney is still good, and Finn says it is. Ryan is conscious now, and came back charming as ever. Jordan asks if Ryan is under guard, and Finn says he can’t hurt anyone. Curtis says he’s going to get Jordan a kidney.

Elisabeth asks where Franco went earlier, and he says, Kiki’s grave. Today would have been her birthday. She says, if she’d known, she would have gone with him, but he says it was spur of the moment. He thought with Ryan in custody, he could find serenity and a way to accept what happened. She asks if he did, but he says, not at all. Ava was there, and talking to her made him realize how much rage he still has about all of it. Kiki had so much to live for; so much to give. The only value Ryan has is to maybe help save Jordan’s life.

TJ approaches Ryan’s room, where Valerie stands guard. She says he’s wasting his time. TJ says Ryan is the only one who can save his mom. Valerie can argue with him, or wish him luck. She says, good luck, and he goes in. Ryan asks if he’s come to see the wounded animal, and revel in his suffering. TJ says nothing, and Ryan says, no. He’s here for the most mundane reason of all; to beg for his mother’s life. Save it. He’s heard it all. Outside the room, Stella asks Valerie if TJ is in with him. Valerie says she tried talking him out of it, but he was determined. Stella says TJ is a wonderful young man, but he’s no match for that filth. Valerie asks if Stella thinks she is, and Stella says, watch her. Ryan says, kid, listen. Nothing less than his unconditional release and subsequent freedom will convince him to give up a kidney. Not him, his mom, not even the Mother of Dragons. It’s useless. Stella says, listen to him with his posturing attitude, ranting and raving. She tells him that he won’t be getting any rest tonight. She’s not leaving his room until Jordan gets his kidney, one way or another.

Cameron tells Josslyn that he knows the kids at school are weird, but it will stop. She says, it’s not that. She just had a deep conversation about Oscar with Sonny and her mom. She got to feel the baby move, and it was pretty cool. Cameron says, sounds good. She says she was all, life goes on, but felt like she was outside of her body, watching herself pretend be a functioning person who will someday be okay. She wasn’t lying to herself, but she doesn’t feel that way. She doesn’t want to be okay. She doesn’t want to stop thinking about Oscar, because that would be like losing him all over again.

Sonny and Carly go to Morgan’s grave. Sonny says, the first lilac of the summer. Morgan loved it because he knew summer was coming soon. Carly wishes Morgan was there. He was a great big brother. Josslyn puts up a good front, but she doesn’t want to hover. Josslyn hates it as much as Morgan did. Sonny says they know deep inside, there’s a lot of pain. Carly says Morgan could always get Josslyn to open up and be herself. She had that with Oscar too. Sonny brushes leaves from the tombstone, and says Morgan would have liked Oscar. Keep an eye out for him up there. He’s gonna need a pal.

Ryan says, the dreaded social worker. Please spare him the bleeding heart. Stella doesn’t give a flip if he mocks her. She’s a believer. He says, in what? and she says, in a higher power. A higher power we sometimes appreciate, and sometimes beg for mercy. A higher power we sometimes question, and sometimes curse. Curtis and TJ don’t understand how the stars have aligned to spare Ryan’s life and not Jordan’s. He says, only the good die young? She says he’s cheated death a few times, and it was all leading to this moment. All the horrible acts he’s perpetrated, all the victims he’s killed and damaged; every move he’s ever made, brought him to this pivotal moment. Nothing could kill him. Does he know why? He has the feeling she’s going to tell him. She says he’s obsessed with himself. He can’t bear the thought of ceasing to exist. He’s tenacious; holding on to life. If he refuses, ignores fate, and doesn’t do what cosmic forces are telling him, those forces will come together and painfully kill him. He’ll take his final breath and go straight to hell. No more quests for victims or chasing after Ava. Give up his kidney and live, or withhold it and die. The choice is his. Wow. Not what I expected.

Jordan tells Curtis the moments with him and TJ have been the happiest moments of her life. She’s happy they moved there. Curtis feels the same way. Jordan says she wanted to get her affairs in order, but she doesn’t need to. Curtis can take care of everything. He tells her, don’t give up, but she says she doesn’t have much choice. Her body can’t keep going. She loves him, and will die loving him. He says he loves her, and always will. Jordan wants him to pick up the pieces and go on living. He’ll find someone else. He says, don’t talk like that; he’s not hearing it. TJ runs in, and tells them, Ryan said yes. He’s giving Jordan his kidney. Stella got through to him. Curtis says he’d better find out. It might be a cruel joke. He leaves, and TJ tells Jordan, it’s going to be okay.

Finn asks if Ryan is consenting. Ryan says, don’t get any ideas. He’s not doing it because of Stella’s nonsense about fate and a higher power. He just wants to get her to shut up. She says, whatever works. He says, surgery without anesthesia would be less tortuous, and Finn asks if he’d like to forego the anesthesia. Ryan says, it’s called hyperbole. If he signs the forms, and he never wants to see her again. Stella says, fine with her. He says she’s the most annoying person he’s ever crossed paths with. Curtis and Stella hug.

Valerie tells Stella she was right. Ryan was no match for her. Stella tells her, don’t say that until he signs. Finn gives him the papers, and Curtis says, let’s get this ball rolling, handing Ryan a pen.

Drew tells Kim to get some sleep. He’ll be right next door. She asks if he really thinks Oscar is on the mountain. He says he can’t believe a spirit like Oscar’s could just be gone. He’s out there somewhere; wherever he wants to be. She wants to see him one more time, and know he’s okay. Her good, sweet boy out there. Drew says that’s why they’re there. All she has to do is believe.

Josslyn tells Cameron that she was thinking at the Nurses Ball. When her voice was getting thin, and she thought she’d have to stop, she looked at the crowd, and Oscar was there. He helped her through. Cameron says, amazing. He could tell Josslyn was thinking about him. Josslyn says her mom and Sonny tell her, in time, the ache will be less, and she’ll grow around Oscar’s absence. What if she doesn’t want to? No one is asking her to forget, but she doesn’t want to feel better, move on, or get over Oscar. She wants to remember how he was and is. She tells Cameron, look! Fireflies!

Sonny tells Morgan, in the middle of everything, they got incredible news. No one can take his place, but they have a new baby coming into the family. Carly says they’re going to tell the baby all about him. Sonny says, maybe the fireflies will come around and light the place up. Carly says, look! There they are!

Josslyn catches a firefly, and tells Cameron, Oscar said if you catch the last firefly of the season, and make a wish, it will come true. Maybe it works for the first one too. Cameron covers her hands with his own. She closes her eyes, and says, okay. She lets it go, and they watch. Josslyn says when she first did this with Oscar, she wished they’d fall in love, and it came true. How lucky is she? Cameron smiles.

Ryan asks if Finn realizes the most loathed man in Port Charles is about to sign a paper that says they can put him under and remove a vital organ. He’ll be vulnerable, and he wouldn’t put it past them to mess with his anesthesia. Finn says he’ll be treated with the same care and respect as every other patient. Stella says she’ll speak up for him at his sentencing. He has her word. They wait, and he finally signs, surprising us all. He throws the pen down, and everyone breathes a sigh of relief.

Tomorrow, Willow tells Chase it’s not possible, Michael says they have to be willing to do anything to get Shiloh, Harmony visits Shiloh, and Sonny tells Jason to take Shiloh’s word for it if Jason won’t take his. In other words, lots of Shiloh tomorrow.

The Haves and The Have Nots

When we last left, David was identifying what he thought to be Jeffrey’s body, and Veronica was surprised to see someone.

David says, it’s not him; it’s not his son. Madison says, no, it’s not. David gets pissed at Madison, who says the call was from that address. He’s sorry. David says he’s fired, and stomps off. Madison cries on Tisha’s shoulder.

The door opens, and Veronica sees Jeffrey. After she gets over the initial shock, she says he’s leaving there. Justin says, it was just a joke. Jeffrey tells Justin not to talk to him. Shooting a gun with a blank isn’t a joke. Jeffrey walks off, and Veronica tells Justin that Jeffrey is leaving him. Justin says, shut your mouth, bitch. She’s already taken everything from him. She says he still has his life, and Justin says, it’s nothing without Jeffrey. She says she’ll remember that. Go back in your house, girl. Justin slams the door.

Veronica follows Jeffrey to the parking lot, where she has his car blocked. A woman asks Veronica to move her car. Veronica ignores her, and says Jeffrey needs to talk to her. The woman keeps asking Veronica to move her car, and Veronica gets in her face, telling her, shut up, bitch. The woman says she’ll call building security, and Veronica says, please do. Jeffrey tells Veronica to stop blocking his car, but she says she just wants to talk to him. She asks if that boy put a gun to him and pulled the trigger, and Jeffrey says, yes. She says she and his father thought he was dead. What the hell is happening? He says, what’s happening is her moving her car. She says she’s not moving it until she’s finished, and he says they’ll stand there all day then.

The woman brings Justin over, and points out Veronica. Echoing my thoughts, Veronica says this is their security officer? Justin says he’s an officer of law. She laughs, and says he’s got to be fired. He tells her to move her car, but she says she’s not done talking to her son. Justin says her son doesn’t want to talk to her. Veronica asks if he’s been reduced to a remedial cop now. The woman tells Justin that they should call the police, and he says he is the police. Veronica says, used to be. She calls Justin a little bitch, and he cracks her across the face, asking, who’s the little bitch now? Jeffrey steps in, and Justin slams him up against a car. Veronica beats on Justin with her bag, and the woman says she’s calling the real police. Jeffrey gets Justin in a choke hold, and David shows up. He asks, what the hell is going on? and separates them.

Veronica tells David, that thing hit her. He asks if Jeffrey is all right, and Veronica says she was the one who was hit. David tells her to stop it and calm down. Jeffrey says she wouldn’t move her car. Veronica says that boy hit her and David’s precious son, and Jeffrey let him do it. Jeffrey says he didn’t. Veronica wishes Justin had killed Jeffrey’s ass. Jeffrey can’t believe what she said, and she says it slapped her, and Jeffrey took his sweet time intervening. She can beat Justin better than Jeffrey. David tells her again to calm down, and she says he’s on this queen’s side. It doesn’t matter what happened to her; just like before. She says they can all kiss her ass, and gets in her car. She points at Justin and says, you, little girl hit the wrong bitch. You’ll see.

David asks, what happened? Justin says, his son, and David says get out of his face. Justin says David should pay him for slapping that bitch, since he can’t. Jeffrey tells Justin to go, and Justin says Jeffrey’s whole family is screwed up. Like Jeffrey doesn’t know this already. David says they thought Jeffrey was shot. He can’t see that boy again. Jeffrey says, but David can see Veronica. David says, that boy is deadly, and Jeffrey says, and mom isn’t? Jeffrey is forcing his hand. He asks Jeffrey to come home, and Jeffrey says he’ll get his things. He’s not staying there, but he’s not staying with David either. David says he can’t tell Jeffrey what’s going on with Veronica, but it’s not what he thinks. Meet him at home, and he’ll explain. Jeffrey relents, and says he’ll be there.

Wyatt paces in his room. He looks out, and sees RK coming back with the car – and the coke. RK gets out of the car, and does a little dance. Wyatt asks where the hell he’s been, and RK says, around. Wyatt tells him, throw the stuff up, but RK says, throw the money down. RK decides to knock on door, and see if anyone is home. He knocks and Wyatt flies down the stairs, yelling, he’s got it. Jim says he’ll get it. RK comes in, and Jim asks if he just walked in. RK took his wife’s car. RK says he did, but she said he could. Jim tells RK that he said he couldn’t. How did he get the keys. RK points to Wyatt, and says, his boy. Jim asks why Wyatt did that, and RK echoes, yeah, why? Jim tells him, shut up and get the hell out of his house. Wyatt says he’s stuck there, and wants RK to hang out. Jim tells RK to give him the keys and get out. Wyatt jets back upstairs.

Wyatt says goes back out on the balcony, and tells RK he’s got the money. RJ says he ain’t doing this with him, but Wyatt says he has a watch worth six grand. RK tells him, get it, and Wyatt goes into Kathryn’s room. He takes the watch, and tosses it down. He tells RK, throw it up. RK says, no, and starts to walk away. He turns back, saying he was just messing with Wyatt, and tosses the bag up. Nice catch. Wyatt says, this is it? RK says give him more jewelry, and he’ll get more product. He works at he Artisian; call him there.

The Presidential motorcade pulls up at Charles’s house mansion. He tells Candace he’ll show her around. She’s impressed, and says, it’s modern classic. She wouldn’t have figured it. He says that’s him too. She sees a picture of his wife, and says she was beautiful. He thanks her, and asks if she wants a drink. Candace says, wine, if he has it, and he pours a glass of red for both of them. She marvels over the art, and Charles tells her that his wife painted them. She says, he misses her; he says her name in his sleep. He says, like what she does with her son, and she says they’re both in the same boat. He guesses they are, and she says, it’s good they have each other. He says, exactly right, and thanks her for being there. She says for the first time in her life, she feels like she can breathe. He says that makes two of them… since his wife died. He doesn’t want to lose her, and she says she’s not going anywhere. He says, it’s not going to be easy. She says they have each other. He tells her that he’s just getting a few personal things for him and the kids, and she asks if she can help. He says he’ll show her the rooms.

Back at the hotel, Scott places the drink order that’s code for ordering a prostitute. RK says the drink doesn’t sound appealing (and it doesn’t), but Scott says it’s what he likes. He’s tired, horny, and thirsty. RK says the hotel can help him with being tired, and he can help with thirsty, but horny he doesn’t know. Scott says he must know the spots, and RK tells him to talk to Rocky. Scott says, what if he wanted a threesome or foursome? RK says he’s heard of those things being arranged, and gets Scott’s room number. He asks if he should bill it to the room, but Scott says he has ten grand, and wants RK, Rocky, and some random woman he points out, to come to the room. RK says, two guys and a girl? Scott asks if he didn’t say he was a freak. RK says give him an hour.

RK goes behind the bar, and tells Rocky that he was offered ten grand. Rocky says, to do what? and RK says, to get with the two of them and her. Rocky says she’s not a working girl, but RK says, don’t worry about that. He’s going to rob the dude’s ass. Rocky says the guy looks smart, and RK says, not to him. It doesn’t matter. Rocky thinks they should go together. RK tells him to ask Broderick to cover the bar. Broderick, who I again was calling Roderick. I’m not sure what’s wrong with me and names, but it happens IRL too. I wish everyone would just wear name tags. Rocky says, let’s make some money.

Rocky tells Broderick, it looks like they got an easy ten grand. A guy wants him and RK, and a girl. Will he watch the bar? Broderick says, sure, and Rocky asks what’s up with him? Broderick says, nothing, but Rocky says it’s written on his face. It’s Kathryn, isn’t it? Is she still all over him like cheap suit? Broderick says she’s not why he’s upset, and tells Rocky, take care of business.

Jeffrey pulls up to David’s house mansion. Madison is sitting outside, and Jeffrey asks why he’s out there. Madison says he came to get his things. David fired him. Jeffrey asks what did he do? and Madison says he made a mistake. They got a call about a gunshot victim, and Madison thought it was Jeffrey, since it was on the same street as Justin’s place. He’s sorry. Jeffrey says it could have been him. Justin pulled a gun on him. He had two guns; one on Jeffrey, and one on himself. He said one gun had a real bullet, and the other had a blank. Justin likes playing games. He actually pulled the trigger, and almost blew out Jeffrey’s eardrum. Madison asks if Jeffrey wants him to look at it, but Jeffrey says he’s fine. Madison says, it’s serious. If he doesn’t see Jeffrey again, he can’t let Justin do this. Jeffrey says he knows it, and hears enough from his parents. He says his dad should be behind him, and lets Madison in.

Madison says he’s sorry. Jeffrey says he is too, and Madison says they could have been good together. Jeffrey says Madison doesn’t even know him, but Madison says he’s seen enough to know Jeffrey goes for troubled guys. He’s punishing himself. Jeffrey repeats that Madison doesn’t know him, and he has actually studied this. Madison says, it’s always the student who can’t see, and Jeffrey tells him, get his stuff. Madison reminds Jeffrey to get on his dad about changing the bandages, and keeping his wounds dry, and goes upstairs.

Jim calls Lloyd. He needs $75K, cash, and he’s picking it up today. Lloyd says, well.. He doesn’t have it in his account. Jim says they, but Lloyd says he’s had strict instructions from Jim’s wife. She won’t give him any money. Jim asks how much is in his account, and Lloyd says, $3400. Jim asks if Kathryn knows, and says not to tell her. He’s waiting for an $8 million transfer. He’ll call when it gets there.

Outside the kitchen, Kathryn says she’s called three times. Call her back. Jim asks who’s not calling her back, and Kathryn asks what he did. He says, nothing, and she asks if he didn’t threaten Broderick. He says he didn’t have to. Broderick isn’t interested in her. She says he seems to be, and Jim says she’s going to get her ass sued. Contrary to popular belief, sexual harassment works both ways. She tells him to go find something to do. He says he could find someone to do, but she’s out of town. Jim tells her that he needs $75K in cash, and she says that’s his problem. He says it sounds like it’s their problem. If the money doesn’t get to the Malones by the end of the day, they’ll put a hit out on their son. Kathryn asks, what kind of hit? and he says, how many kinds are there? They’ll kill him. Does she think he’s talking about a hit record? Kathryn says Wyatt bought that much in drugs? Jim says, no; they’re saying it’s for pain and suffering. She says, give it to them, and he says he doesn’t have it. He needs her to call Lloyd. She asks why she should. He says, would she like to bury another child? She says, that’s not fair, and he says, call and get the money.

Kathryn calls, and makes small talk with Lloyd. She tells him that she needs $75K cash. She’ll send her errand boy to pick it up. Lloyd might know him. His name is Jim. She tells Lloyd not to say that about Jim, and laughs. When she’s done, Jim asks if that was so difficult. She says, it better be for Wyatt, and he says, who else? She says, one of his whores, but he says, her whores are the ones currently charging those rates. Last night’s wore took her car. She says, it’s back, isn’t it? He says she’s some piece of work, and she says he’s some piece of sh*t.

Scott tells the Attorney General that he was right. The AG asks what Scott found, and Scott gives him a folder. The AG says, he knew it. Scott asks if he was robbed at gunpoint, and the AG says, something like that. Scott says the Artisian keeps security records. The head of security is ex-military, and runs it like it’s war time. He got the tapes, and also got this. He gives the AG another folder. It shows the time the AG spent in Candace’s room. The AG says, it’s perfect. Scott shows him Jim’s picture, saying he’s a judge who was running for governor, but was disgraced by his mistress. She blackmailed him for a lot of money. Her name was Candace Young. The AG says, it gets better and better. He tells Scott, set up a discreet meeting. Scott says, that could backfire, but the AG says, this man is his kind of guy.

Veronica goes to the station. For a second, I think the desk sergeant is Rick (If Loving You Is Wrong), but it’s not. Veronica says she’s been assaulted. He tells her to fill out the paperwork, but she says she just wants him arrested. It’s Officer Justin Lewis. The sergeant says, okay. She says she wants him picked up. He was harassing her son, and when she stepped in to help out, he hit her. She shows him the mark on her face, but he doesn’t see it. She tells him, look closer, and he says he needs the paperwork. She pulls the restraining order out of her bag, and says she also has a lawsuit against him. And in the event of his death, a lawsuit against his estate, his wife, and his children. If he doesn’t have Justin picked up now, his job is on the line. She asks if he’s new, and he says he is. She tells him, get someone experienced who can handle this, and he says okay, probably desperate to get rid of her.

The Chief comes out, and Veronica tells him what happened, and says to let her know when Justin is in custody. He says, it doesn’t work that way. She says wants Justin arrested, now. The Chief wants to know what he did, and she shows him an affidavit. He looks at it, and says, okay. They’ll pick Justin up. Veronica asks what jail he’ll be taken to, and the Chief says, this one. She says they can call her when Justin gets there, but he says, that’s not protocol. She says she’s not their average bitch, and he says, okay. Because by now, he’s been sufficiently terrorized enough to just say okay to anything.

Veronica makes a call. She tells someone she wants him and five others to get themselves arrested in Precinct 11. She tells him to find some friends who like to rape and maim. He needs to do it quickly. She’ll give them $5K to split. She tells him to get arrested now.

Hanna and Benny go to the bank. The officer says she still has their signatures, and leaves to get the paperwork for Benny. Benny starts to talk, but Hanna says, nothing out of his mouth. They’re giving the money back. The officer returns, and Benny signs the papers. Hanna says they want to transfer everything except $20K. The officer looks at the account, and asks how much she thinks is in there. Hanna says $8 million, plus interest. The officer says, sorry, but the account is overdrawn by $4K. There’s no money in the account. Hanna looks at Benny, and says, his damn sister.

Next time, Charles says if the story hits and Landon can’t spin it, he’s fired; Justin gets arrested, and Veronica tells him that she bets he thinks twice before hitting a woman again; Jeffrey tells David, maybe death is better than being in this family.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

We see clips of the wildfires in California. Kyle, Teddi, and LisaR are in a car on the phone with Camille, then Denise. Camille is under mandatory evacuation. Denise thinks her house might be burning down.

Five days earlier. Dorit is choosing girls for a photo shoot. Kyle fixes Portia’s hair. Teddi gives Slade a riding lesson.

Erika meets LisaR for Mexican food. Erica compliments LisaR on her CVLUX cover. LisaR says it was a fun shoot. She asks if Erika had fun at the party, and Erika says she had the best time ever watching LisaR. We flash back to them on the Ferris wheel. In her interview, Erika says she loves that LisaR came to Farrahween as Erika at Coachella. When you’re a Halloween costume, you’ve made it. I have to agree with that. LisaE says she and Kim have moved on from their feud. In LisaR’s interview, she says she always liked Kim, and it’s time for the healing to take place. She tells Erika that she’s totally cool if someone says something negative to her face, but Camille says one thing to them, then talks behind their backs. Hmm… Isn’t she doing the same thing right now? Erika says Teddi told her what happened in the van. LisaR says Camille said a couple of things about Dorit that weren’t lovely, and said some things about Teddi to Denise. In Erika’s interview, she says she understands they’re frustrated with camille. They’ve gone to her events, and they’re feeling betrayed. Erika says Camille has a beef with pretty much everyone. LisaR says, she doesn’t know she has a beef with Dorit, and Erika says, but she’s about to.

Dorit talks the models through the shoot. She’s so excited and proud of her line growing, and becoming something she’s proud of. In her interview, she says, today is important. They’re shooting footage for a Kitson window display. I’m confused, since I thought Kitson went out of business. She says, it’s an incredible honor, and she wants to nail it. PK brings the kids to the shoot, and she tells Jagger that he needs to help mommy sell boys shorts. Jagger poses for pictures solo, and then with other models. Dorit’s assistant, Kimberly, forgot some pieces. In her interview, Dorit says she’s done a ton of photo shoots, and never remembers a time when something didn’t go wrong. It’s important for everything to be perfect. A lot of time, money, and effort goes into it, to make it go without a hitch. They have to make the most and best of the situation. They do a final shot of all the models together with Jagger. Everyone applauds.

Kyle’s dogs are out of control, and she runs out after them. She wonders why they can’t behave. She calls Marlena from Hosted Villas about a Chateau Ventoux in Provence. She says she’s thinking of bringing girlfriends, and wants to check dates. In her interview, she says they’ve been doing a lot of trips, and she saw the chateau is a Vogue article about Provence. She thought it was perfect. She asks Marlena about the staff, and asks if they can have a chef. She thinks it sounds amazing, and says she’ll call back after she confirms with the other girls.

She calls the others to lock down a date. In Kyle’s interview, she says the Bahamas was fun, but tense. The camping trip was really fun, but not glamorous. She wants go somewhere fun, chic, and exiting, where they can relax and bond. Teddi tells Kyle that she’s 99% sure she can go, but wants to run it by her husband. Kyle says maybe she should do that too.

Harry gets ready to grill. LisaR says it’s hard to keep track which daughter is vegetarian. In her interview, she says more than anything she loves having the whole family home. Lately, Harry has either been in Canada or camping, and the girls have been traveling. When she’s alone, she comes up with things to entertain herself. We see her bouncing around on Instagram. Harry is trying to hunt down the cheese he bought. Amelia pretends she knows nothing about it, but tells Delilah and LisaR that she ate it. In LisaR’s interview, she says Amelia has issues with food. We flash back to Amelia talking about anorexia. LisaR says it’s two steps forward, and one back. It’s not easy, and they do it one day at a time. She wants to fix it, and make it go away. You don’t want to see your child in pain. She asks Amelia to have a little something, and Amelia says she’s even allergic to corn. LisaR wonders if Amelia is going to have this forever. Amelia insists she’s not hungry. LisaR says she loves Harry, but the veggie burger tastes like rubber.

Harry says maybe Amelia doesn’t want to eat, but he’s having dessert. Amelia gives him the finger behind his back. In LisaR’s interview, she says maybe they did something; she doesn’t know, but it’s hard to watch Amelia be in pain. Amelia asks if it makes Harry angry that she’s not eating his food. If so, they have to work through it. She says the energy is effed up, and asks why he’s so passive aggressive. LisaR says he fathered these children. He says he doesn’t think he’s responsible for their behavior, and thinks she’s responsible. Me too, and it’s no surprise he’s never around.

The women get together for a lunch. Kyle shows them photos from the party. LisaR says it took a long time to get out of Erika Jayne. In Kyle’s interview, she says things were rough between Kim and LisaR before the party. She thinks LisaR was using Erika’s persona to speak rudely to her sister. She doesn’t want to say anything right now, but thinks it’s complete bullsh*t. Dorit talks about the photo shoot, and says she’s doing the Kitson window. She’s super excited. She says she spoke to PK, who’s in London, and he told her to go on the trip. LisaR says Harry told her to go. I’ll bet he did.

Erika arrives last, and asks, what’s happening? Kyle says she closed her store, and felt so bad, she started bawling. She opened seven years ago. In her interview, she says seeing her name on a corner she drove by her entire life felt exciting. We flash back to the opening. She says the rent in Beverly Hills is through the roof. Because of that, combined with more people shopping online, it didn’t make sense to stay open. LisaR says, it’s sad, and agrees about the rent. In her interview, LisaR says when she had a store, she and Harry were relying on it as income, so they were in a more precarious position. Luckily, Kyle is in a position where Mauricio is doing well, and she’ll be fine.

Kyle shows them the chateau website on her phone. Erika says she’s been to Provence, but nothing like this. In her interview, LisaR says she likes a hotel with her own room, where she can escape if she needs to, but she’s open to it. She likes the word chateau. In Erika’s interview, she says, the house is beautiful, and it’s the French countryside; no need for glam.

LisaR asks if Camille is coming. Kyle says she left a message. Dorit asks LisaR what Camille said, but LisaR says it’s not her place. She says she can tell Camille that she thinks she should talk to Dorit. Kyle thinks LisaR should just let them know. I think this should be an all or nothing situation. LisaR should have either kept her damn mouth shut about it, or told Dorit everything. To me, it’s nasty to tell someone that a friend is talking about them, but not what was said. It’s not fair to just leave them hanging and imagining what it must be. In LisaR’s interview, she says that if she hadn’t been mad at Camille, she wouldn’t have said anything. That’s nasty to. Point proved. We flash back to LisaR telling Dorit that Camille was talking about her. She says she doesn’t want to hurt Dorit’s feelings. Kyle says if Camille is pretending to be nice, yet saying nasty things behind Dorit’s back, LisaR has to tell her. Dorit thinks it’s scary that Camille is acting nice, but might have residual feelings from their past altercation. Teddi says wait until LVP hears what Camille said about her teeth. We flash back to Camille saying LVP needs dental work. Teddi says it didn’t please her to hear Camille say that, even though she and LVP are not on the best terms. Kyle says you wonder what the person is saying about you.

Camille talks to a friend whose name I don’t catch, but we’ve seen before. Camille thought the wedding was perfect, and couldn’t be more thrilled. In her interview, she says it’s a great feeling, having a life partner. She missed the love and family part of being married. The friend says Teddi was odd at the airport, and in Camille’s interview, she explains that when they were leaving, her daughter said hi to Teddi, who snubbed her. Mason felt bad, and that’s when her mommy claws come out. She tells the friend that she doesn’t like how Teddi is acting toward her. She’s gotten too big for her britches. She’s been taking jabs at Camille, wanting her to pick a side with the LVP thing. She’s been around LVP and Kyle a long time, and sees LVP’s point of view, but feels for Kyle. She knows the dynamic, and LVP has been there for both her and Kyle. Camille wants to bring it up, but doesn’t think Teddi can take criticism. Yet she’s an accountability coach. Go figure.

Denise asks Kyle if Camille is invited, and Kyle says, of course. In her interview, Kyle says she and Camille aren’t on the best terms, but to not invite her is making a statement.

Denise goes to a restaurant. We already know she’s meeting Brandi (bleh), although they try to surprise us. Brandi arrives, and says dumbass stuff. In her interview, Denise says a mutual friend introduced her and Brandi. They went to dinner, and hit it off. She thinks Brandi is crazy fun, and likes her. Brandi says they have a lot in common. In Brandi’s interview – where she looks like a horror show – she says she and Denise have been through the wringer together with public divorces. What you see is what you get. Period. No bullsh*t. Denise is just like her. Maybe in that way, but no. Denise is actually a kind person. Brandi is not. I’m sure some past thing is why she lashes out, but she refuses to recognize that, so pfft! Brandi says she saw Denise’s Instagram pictures wits Patrick, and asks how her husband is handling it. Denise says, he’s so supportive and fine with it. Brandi says, it’s fine until it’s not. Denise says, if it was her, she wouldn’t like it. We flash back to a reunion where Brandi talked about slitting Eddie’s tires. Brandi tells Denise about some dude named Casamigos, who says she hit him in the face. She might have slapped a pretty, older English woman in the face once, but not slapping dudes in face. Classless as ever; another thing Denise is not. Brandi says wasn’t even there. Denise tells Brandi about some story the women think LVP planted with Radar Online. She says she doesn’t know LVP well enough to know if she leaked it. Brandi says, of course she leaked it. In Brandi’s interview, she says she and LVP were best friends for five years. We flash back to that time. Giggy! Brandi tells Denise, whatever LVP wants out there, gets out there. We flash back to Brandi telling Kyle about LVP wanting her to bring the tabloids with her on vacation. She says if you cross LVP in any way, which she did – Denise asks if she crossed LVP or disagreed with her. Brandi says, a bit of both – you get punished. Denise wonders why do that to a friend who’s never done anything wrong. She thinks Brandi should come to Provence. Brandi orders two glasses of wine in one. She tells the waiter, if he brings two separate glasses, she’ll kill him. In her interview, Denise says Brandi can drink her under the table. Denise doesn’t do shots. She sips that sh*t. Me too. I’d make a much better friend for Denise. Public divorce aside.

Brandi (who is friends with Kim now?) tells Denise that Kim called her a bitch. We flash back to Denise telling Kim that LisaR is really a nice person. I’m beginning to think Denise needs help picking friends. Denise tells Brandi that she was just reassuring Kim that LisaR didn’t man anything by it. It was bad timing, and LisaR shouldn’t have said it, but they all make mistakes. She thinks LisaR and Kim should move on. It’s an effing bunny. Again, I’m no fan of Kim’s, but LisaR is the one who brought it up, and used the c-word in reference to Kim. Why isn’t Denise calling her out on it?

Denise meets Aaron at Compass, where he’s unpacking fitness equipment. He says they just got the power on. In her interview, Denise says it’s been crazy busy. She’s traveling a lot, but they try to make sure not too much time goes by before they see each other again. Denise says she got the pictures of Sami’s messy room and the bathroom. Aaron says she uses every towel. Denise feels terrible, leaving him while the fitness center is being put together. Leaving stresses her out, but she gives Aaron credit. As a new husband, he’s being supportive. He says when he approaches Sami in a cool and calm way, she says stop yelling at her. Denise says his voice carries, and a thirteen-year-old perceives it as yelling. In Denise’s interview, she says, Charlie is the easier going parent, while Aaron has strict boundaries, but they make the girls feel safe and secure. She tells him that she owes him a beach party in Vegas.

Walking down a commercial street, Kyle tells Erika it’s depressing to close the store. They go to the building where the store was, and it says for lease. Kyle realizes she didn’t take the chandeliers, and has to get them. She says she did find a space she likes, but she’s never done anything from the ground up. She needs help. She tells Erika that she has a lot to think about. In Kyle’s interview, she says it’s a challenging time for her. As they pass Villa Blanca, she thinks of fun times with LVP. We flash back to some of those. Kyle doesn’t focus on what happened recently. It makes her sad to think that chapter of her life is closed. She and Erika go shopping, and look for scarves. Erika says, what’s more French than a scarf and beret? All they’re missing is a baguette and some cheese.

Camille calls Kyle, and says she went over her schedule, and talked to her family. She can go. She’s excited to be included. Kyle and Erika pay for whatever they just bought, and it’s 800 bucks for the tiniest bag of stuff ever.

Everyone gets packing. Again from closets as big as a small country. Kyle considers taking a machete.

Breaking news. There are three separate wildfires in California. Malibu is evacuated. Kyle, Teddi, and LisaR are on their way to the airport. Camille calls, saying it’s stressful. She lives in a canyon, and can see flames in the next canyon over. She has to leave her house now. In Camille’s interview, she says they got stuck in traffic, and could see the flames and smoke moving faster than the cars. She was terrified. Kyle tells her to make sure she’s safe, and keep them posted. In Teddi’s interview, she says, it’s heartbreaking. They’d planned on talking with Camille, but tragedy has a way of putting things in perspective. Oh nice. Once again they want to pick an inappropriate venue to air their grievances. It’s doubly nice that the person who they have a grievance with, would have no means of escape. LisaR calls Denise, who finally has cell service. Denise says she’s never seen anything like it. It’s effing insane. LisaR tells her to keep in touch. They’re not on the plane until 3:30. Denise says she thinks her house might be burning.

Next time, the trip to Provence; LisaR says it’s like Downton Abbey, but in France; Dorit says it makes you feel like you’re in Europe; Camille’s house burns down; Teddi and LisaR clash.

🏇 If She’s Out, So Am I…

Even worse, it looks like Brandi is inching her way in. Sorry, Denise, but I can’t.

https://www.eonline.com/news/1046855/is-lisa-vanderpump-really-leaving-the-real-housewives-of-beverly-hills

💍 A Taste of the New 90…

I’m already loving this show. As usual, there are a couple of decent people, but they’re mostly horrible.

https://www.eonline.com/news/1046518/90-day-fiance-the-other-way-premieres-with-shocking-secrets-catfishing-and-big-investments

🏰 I Wanna Go Too…

Must be nice. I could make a joke here about it being Provence, not Nice, but I’ll let it go.

 

May 31, 2019 – Everyone Wants a Piece of Ryan, nuDanny, the OG Tries Harder, LisaR Strikes Again, a Diva, a Drunk, 90 Day Disaster, Rich People Problems, 12 Quotes Minus 2 & Two Weekends

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Sam tells Julian that she’ll do anything to get Wiley away from Shiloh, even if it means working with him. Jason brings Danny home, and asks if everything is okay. Sam looks at Julian.

At the hospital, Robert approaches Finn. He wants to offer his congratulations. Finn says, thanks, but he did that at the Ball. Robert says there was a lot going on there, and he was being polite. The truth is, he wants Anna to have all the happiness she deserves, and he hopes she gets it with Finn. Anna sees them, and asks if she’s interrupting anything.

Ava is brought out, and Scotty asks for a minute with his client. He’s glad Julian talked sense into her, and she’s standing up for herself. She says she has to get free and stay free in case Ryan survives. He suggests she doesn’t say that to the judge. He wants her to go in and sit, sit up straight, and nicely say she’s not guilty. He’ll handle the rest. He’s not sure if he’s going with temporary insanity or self-defense. She doesn’t know how he’d pull off self-defense, since there were three cops there when she stabbed Ryan in the back.

Jordan tells Doc and Laura that she warned Ava not to take matters into her own hands, but Doc understands what motivated her. Jordan says Ava is being charged with attempted murder. It seems unfair, and hypocritical, considering how many people Ryan killed. She says she’s sorry, but Doc says, it happens to be true. Jordan says, now, of all people, he’s her best chance for a kidney transplant.

Curtis says he saved Ryan’s life. Now Ryan has to do the same for Jordan, and consent to donating a kidney. Ryan says, that’s major surgery. He needs to mull it over. Curtis says, the answer is yes. Ryan asks why he should save the life of a woman who stopped at nothing to hunt him down? He’ll see her in hell.

Robert tells Anna that he was congratulating Finn. Finn appreciates it, but has patients to see. He leaves, and Robert says Anna looks happy. She says she is. Is he surprised? He says he’s still trying to figure out how she convinced herself that he wanted to remarry her. She says she was mistaken. She saw him with Mac, and he had a ring. She jumped to the wrong conclusion, but it’s not that far-fetched. He’d been acting strangely. She asks how he ended up with the ring, and he says he was housing it, but truth be known, he wasn’t happy they were getting married. He’s not carrying a torch, but she is the love of his life; regardless of how long ago it was when they discovered they couldn’t make it as couple. She says, damn you, Scorpio. He says seeing her with Finn, he realized they’d be going off and having adventures together. It didn’t sit well when he realized he’d no longer have a place in that part of her life. She takes his hands, and says, snap out of it. They laugh.

Lulu is busy swiping at the MetroCourt when Maxie and Peter walk in. Maxie looks over Lulu’s shoulder, and tells her, swipe right. Lulu says, it’s purely research. She’s not looking for a love connection. Peter says, most people on there aren’t, and Maxie calls him cynical. Lulu says she is too. She’s hunting for someone who’s catfishing women so he can steal from them. Maxie says, it’s sad that they’re being taken down because they’re looking for love. Lulu says, like Ava.

Danny thanks Julian for the birthday present, and Julian says he’ll let them celebrate. After he leaves, Sam asks Jason where Scout is. He says she was sleeping, and Olivia told him not to wake her up. Scout was having a bad day, and was cranky, so Olivia thought they should let her sleep. Danny says Olivia is making him taste everything for the party, so it’s like he’s getting two parties. Sam thinks he’s special enough for two parties. Right, dad? Jason says, right, and almost smiles.

Ava is uncuffed, and Scotty tells her to just plead not guilty; they’ll strategize later. It looks like self-defense is out the window, and he’ll have to go for temporary insanity. She says if it gets her out, fine. Margaux walks in, saying she thought she recognized Scotty’s aftershave permeating the place. He says it’s his hair gel; it’s pungent. He says Ava did Margaux a favor, getting a serial killer off the streets. What say they make a deal, and call it a day. She’s sympathetic, but can’t look other way. Scotty says, Ryan is demented. He cut off his own hand. Margaux says, Ava stabbed him in the back. It’s his job to defend Ava, and it’s hers to prosecute.

Doc tells Jordan that he wishes he could be the donor. It would make everything simpler. She says if he hadn’t stepped up, they never would have known Ryan was a match. He says, that’s an optimistic way of looking at it. She says she has to be optimistic; her life depends on Ryan. Doc has to go, but Laura says she’ll catch up with him. She asks Jordan, what’s going on? Jordan says she’s not in a position to be picky, but it creeps her out to think she’d be owing her life to Ryan.

Curtis grabs the front of Ryan’s hospital gown. Ryan tells him, let go. Curtis promises Ryan doesn’t know anything about him; what he’s capable of, or what he’s done. Jordan’s life is worth more than Ryan’s, and if Curtis could, he’d snatch the kidney out with his bare hands in heartbeat. Ryan says, that would be murder. He might be willing to entertain offers. What’s his kidney worth to Curtis?

Anna says Robert will always be an important part of her life, and not just because of Robin. He’s a friend, an ally, and the best agent she’s ever worked with. She’s happier knowing he’s in the world with her. Robert says, all he ever wanted was for her to be happy. The best to both of them. She says she maybe has to ask him for something. Kind of an engagement present. Peter and Maxie are going to be visiting Robin. It was Robin’s decision to invite him, and she wants Robert to be a big boy about it. He asks, why? So Robin gets to know her big brother when they both know that’s not who Peter is?

Lulu tells Maxie and Peter that she’s going to put a pin in this for now. She has a pressing story to write. She’s going to the hospital to see if she can get a few comments on Ryan’s arrest. She tells them to enjoy their evening. Peter asks Maxie what she thinks of the dating story, and she says she’s happy she’s not out there in the dating world. He says, that makes two of them. Consider them both off the market. They kiss, and Maxie says she’s still worried about Lulu. They have to be proactive in getting Dante and Lulu back together.

Sam tells Jason that she’s glad Julian is getting to know Danny, as long as they keep it on a limited basis. Jason doesn’t love it, but the situation is what it is, and making a big deal out of it will confuse Danny. She says Jason walked in on their conversation, but Jason says he’s not asking her about it. Julian is her father, and it’s her business. She says she’s not keeping secrets from him. Not for Julian or anyone else. The situation involves Wiley, and guess who else? Shiloh.

Julian sits behind Ava in the courtroom. She’s happy he made it. Judge Henry Otis is presiding, and he says the charge is attempted murder. He asks how Ava pleads, and she says, not guilty. Scotty would like to request the defendant be released on bail, if the DA has no objections.

Jordan tells Laura that she feels foolish thinking this way, but the idea of Ryan being a part of her body disturbs her. Laura understands. Nothing about the situation is easy, but she had no problem accepting Doc’s kidney. Jordan says, not at all, and Laura says, so, they have the same DNA. All Jordan is getting from Ryan is a group of tissues that will save her life. What she does with that life afterwards is entirely up to her. Jordan says it sounds better when Laura breaks it down like that. That’s why she’s mayor. Laura says she has her moments.

Curtis says Ryan wants him to make an offer for his kidney. Ryan says he’s a practical man. He has leverage, and also has something Curtis’s wife desperately needs. He needs something in return. Curtis tells him, name his price; he’ll pay it. Ryan says it’s not a financial transaction per se, and Curtis says, if it’s not money, what does he want?

Anna tells Robert that they don’t know anything really; it’s just a theory. They can’t prove Alex is Peter’s biological mother. Robert says they can start with digging through Dimitri’s records, but Anna says, what’s the point? Alex wouldn’t leave important documents lying around. He says, that’s exactly the place she’d leave them. If Peter is Alex’s son, doesn’t she want to know? She says, it doesn’t matter. She cares about Peter. He’s part of the family. He’s important to her and Robin. Peter isn’t going to hurt Robin, and she wants to get to know him. Robert isn’t so sure.

Maxie tells Peter that if Dante doesn’t want to come home on his own, it’s up to them to bring him back. Peter says, assuming they find him. What makes her think they could get him to come home? She might get somewhere, but he has zero influence. She says they can make Dante aware of the toll his absence is taking on Lulu’s life.

Ryan says Curtis seems shocked, but is he really? Curtis says Ryan really is crazy. Ryan says it’s bad strategy to insult the person who can save his wife’s life, but the offer still stands. Tick tock. Finn comes in, and Curtis leaves. Ryan says don’t mind Curtis; he’s got a lot on his mind. Finn sees Ryan is recovering well. Ryan says Finn doesn’t like him, and Finn says Ryan is his least favorite patient, but he’s a doctor, and required to treat everyone. Ryan understands that, but what he doesn’t get is why is Finn wandering so far from his area of expertise. Why is an infectious disease specialist spending so much time with a knife wound? Why is he there?

Judge Otis asks if the DA has any objections to the defendant’s release. Margaux says she has none. Ava’s only target is in ICU, under police guard. The prosecution doesn’t consider her a danger to society or a flight risk. The judge sets bail at $100K.

Jason says, with enough time and resources, Shiloh is bound to find Wiley. Sam says Julian thinks he can stop that from happening, and she agreed to help him. Jason asks if she’s sure, and she says Julian is motivated to help Wiley, so she’s in. He tells her, if it goes sideways, or she gets a bad feeling… She says she’ll find him, but doesn’t he think it’s time for him to come home to stay?

Anna tells Robert not to get in the way, but Robert says he’s not the person she needs to worry about. She needs to worry about Peter’s real mom; her traitorous sister.

Jason asks if Sam is sure she wants him to come back. She says it’s something she’s been thinking about since she was in the hospital bed, and saw him standing there. It was confusing for them, but giving her the time she needed, allowed her to figure things out. She did, and she has no question or doubt. She wants him there, together, as a family. He asks if she remembers what he wanted for Christmas. She says, a day with her and the kids. He says he forced himself to leave every time. Even when they were just putting toys together, or doing a puzzle, or when he made chicken soup for her. (He cooks? Sign me up.) He can’t imagine anything better than that. Sam tells him, come home, and never leave again. They kiss.

Peter tells Maxie that Dante has PTSD, and he’s worried about being a danger to his family. He’s not guilting Dante into coming home, and not getting the help he needs. Maxie gets that Dante is protecting Lulu, but she thinks the WSB is taking advantage of him. They want to cure him just enough to keep him working for them, but not enough to come home. She speaks from experience. Her dad is the director. When she was a kid, he left on a mission, and never came back. His work was more important. She doesn’t want to see that happen to Dante and his family. Peter asks why she’s so invested.

Lulu runs into Doc at the hospital. She says she wants to get a quote from Jordan. He says he and Laura were just with Jordan, and her mom is probably still there. He’ll get out of the way. She asks him to wait. She says her mom loves him, and he’ll always be in her life and the kids’ lives, which means he’ll always be in her life. It’s probably time to talk about the real issue between them. He asks if she means how his actions led to Ryan nearly killing her.

Still in Jordan’s room, on the phone, Laura says she’ll touch base next week. Jordan asks what they said. Laura thought she was sleeping, but Jordan asks what the Canadian authorities said. Laura says it looks like they have jurisdiction to prosecute Ryan for his crimes in Canada, as well as there. Jordan says, consecutive life sentences. Curtis walks in, and asks how it’s going. Jordan says, living the dream. He asks Laura to stick around. What he has to say concerns her too. Jordan asks if he spoke to Ryan, and Curtis says, he agreed to donate his kidney… as long as the charges against him are dropped. Well, good luck with that. There would be a million people involved with that decision.

Robert tells Anna that Alex seems to have spent the greater part of her life trying to sabotage Anna’s. Anna says, she has to certain extent, but Anna doesn’t think it’s malicious. She’s messed up. He says Anna doesn’t want Peter to know. She admits he might be right, but Peter is capable of taking care of himself.  Robert says he knows. That’s one reason he’s glad their daughter lives on the other side of the country. She tells him, why not leave it alone? For her, the love of his life. Can he do that? He says he won’t mention Peter’s parentage – she says, alleged parentage – to Robin. She thanks him, and he says, unless he has to. She can’t imagine what circumstance that would be. She’s sure her sister doesn’t care. She gave him up. Robert says, when he was a baby. Now Anna cares a great deal for him. She says, of course (🍷). He says if she thinks her sister is above using that, she’s sadly mistaken. She asks what he’s implying, and he says he’s not implying. He’s straight up saying if she continues this pantomime of being Peter’s mother, she needs to visit Alex and get her in on it.

Jason gives Danny a present, and Danny asks Sam if he has to wait to open it. Please? Sam says he’s adorable when he begs, so go ahead. It’s a racing car set, and Danny asks if Jason can help set it up before he goes. Sam says she has something to tell Danny. Jason is sticking around for good. They’re going to live as family. How does he feel about that? Danny says, it’s the coolest birthday present ever. He hugs Jason, and Sam hugs them both.

Maxie tells Peter, of course (🍷) she’s invested in Dante coming home. Lulu is her best friend, and Dante is a little lost. He thinks if he goes far away, he can find himself, and Lulu is burying herself in her work to distract her from the pain. Peter says, Lulu loves her work, and it builds her confidence, which is what she needs. Maxie says if they don’t do something, his star reporter is going to burn herself out. She pleads with him to help her do what she can to get Lulu and Dante back together.

Lulu says her mother has chosen to forgive Doc, and her happiness means everything. She’s doing everything in her power to support that, but when she looks at Doc’s face, she still sees Ryan. Doc says, trauma isn’t rational. She can lay out the facts, and tell herself that he’s not Ryan, but her immediate reaction and the adrenaline are automatic. With some cases, time is all that’s needed, but with others, it’s just learning to maintain. Lulu says she realized she and Dante are going through the same thing. Dante has no control over what he’s feeling. He wants to feel comfortable, but he’s not there yet. Dante is literally afraid of himself. She can’t set a timeline, and demand he get better and come back. As much as he wants to, it’s out of his control, and there’s no one to blame or be angry at, and no one to forgive.

Scotty tells Ava, that went well. He thinks it’s a sign of good things to come. Julian says Ava caught a lucky break, but Ava says she’s not feeling very lucky. Ryan told her that Kiki called out for her with her dying breath, and said she loved her. Julian says Ryan is a sick SOB, just messing with her head. She says she has no idea if it’s true or not. She knows he could have been lying. Kiki could have said anything or nothing. But what if he was telling the truth, and her daughter died calling for her, and she wasn’t there?

Jordan tells Curtis she thought Ryan was an evil genius, and lucky. He killed how many people, and thinks he can trade a kidney for his freedom? Laura suggests a plea deal. Texas has the death penalty. Curtis says they can take capital punishment off the table, but Jordan says, absolutely not. No bargaining or negotiating on her behalf. She wants him pay, no matter what.

Finn says should Ryan, choose to donate an organ, he’s there to make sure the kidney stays free of infection, and is ready for transplant. Ryan says the intended recipient is the commissioner, who hounded him. Why should he help her? Finn says, it’s a worthwhile investment; his organ for a lesser prison sentence. They both know he can live a full life with one kidney. Ryan says, a life of hammering out license plates, and reading every book in the library. He can think of a better trade than a lesser sentence. Finn says, he’s waiting for a better price? He had Ryan pegged wrong. He thought Ryan was a smart guy; some people say he’s a genius. But he’s delusional, bargaining for his freedom. A smart guy would assess the situation, and see where his advantage lies, but that’s clearly beyond him.

Jason, Sam, and Danny play with the racetrack.

Peter tells Maxie, since it means so much, he’ll help find Dante, and try to bring him back. Mostly because he doesn’t want her to do it alone. She thanks him, but he says they don’t even know where to start. They don’t even know what country Dante is in. Maxie says, it’s not easy, but they’ve got this. They’re a good team.

Finn says he got Anna’s text; is everything okay? She says, yes and no. She has to go to Zurich. Her flight is in three hours. She has to see Alex. He asks, why? and she says she doesn’t want Robert to be right. Unfortunately, he is, and if Peter’s biological mother is going to exploit that, Anna needs to see her face to face, and figure out what she knows. Peter and Maxie are going to be visiting Robin, and she doesn’t want them building a relationship based on a lie. She has to find out the truth. He says he’d like to go with her, but he’s dealing with Jordan’s case. She it’s her sister and her past. It’s all stuff she needs to deal with. She tells him that she loves him very much, and he says he’ll be waiting. They kiss, and as she’s leaving, she says she loves her ring. It is really pretty.

Curtis sees Finn, who says he’s sorry Ryan refused to donate his kidney, but no one is giving up. Curtis says he needs Finn’s help to think of something else. Finn says he already has.

Laura tells Jordan that they don’t have to talk now. Jordan says she’s tendering her resignation, but Laura says, no she’s not. Laura refuses to accept it. She can find an interim commissioner to keep Jordan’s desk warm for when she’s ready to come back to them.

Julian tells Ava that Ryan manipulated her. The best way to beat the guy is to get him out of her head. She says she’s sorry, but she can’t do that.

Ryan hears the door to his room open, and asks if Finn came back for an autograph, but it’s Doc. Ryan says, hello brother. He says didn’t mean to leave Doc hanging, and laughs.

On Monday, Ava tells Kiki happy birthday, Michael tells Sasha things are complicated, and Finn tells Curtis that when Ryan is under the knife, they can make sure he never wakes up.

👦 I Thought So…

Danny made an age jump.

https://www.abc.soapsindepth.com/posts/general-hospital-tk-weaver-danny-recast-171004

🃏 Staying in the Game…

Vicki’s keeping it real. At least as real as reality in the OC gets.

https://radaronline.com/exclusives/2019/05/vicki-gunvalson-gets-rhoc-cast-engagement-party/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

😕 Where’s Ma When You Need Her…

LisaR just can’t keep those big lips shut. I don’t even like Kim, but this was entirely uncalled for.

https://radaronline.com/videos/rhobh-recap-lisa-rinna-fights-kim-richards-feud/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

⚡ Not Like These Are a Shock…

LuAnn is a diva. I worked for the business end of Al-Anon, and she’s what members would call a Mr. AA. Or in this case, Countess AA.

https://radaronline.com/videos/rhony-recap-drunk-sonja-morgan-calls-luann-de-lesseps-diva/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

But Sonja negates her point by literally being falling down drunk.

https://starmagazine.com/photos/rhony-sonja-morgan-drunk-ambulance-miami-trip-video/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

💍 Where the Awful People Meet…

Maybe they can have yet another spin-off, 90 Day Fiancé: Go Back Home. While there are some lovely and legit couples, this show is rife with grifters and nasties. In regard to Larissa and Colt(ee), even though she’s no prize, I’ve always leaned to Larissa’s side. Nobody (almost nobody anyway) wants to start their marriage off living with their mother-in-law. Add being in another country, away from family and friends, and living in Las – not the good part of it – Vegas with no air conditioning. Mom Debbie didn’t make it any easier, never seeming to recognize what a cold fish her son is, and at the same time, babying him. And when Larissa told Debbie that she had children back in Brazil, Debbie acted like Larissa had committed a cardinal sin by not telling her, when it was Colt(ee) who had told her not to. As if this wasn’t bad enough, Colt(ee) is a very odd dude, who never takes his wife’s side, feigning neutrality. I think he likes and orchestrates drama, and it creeps me out how he never shows emotion. Frankly, he reminds me of a friend’s father, who’s a predator. (Don’t worry. He’s locked up for good now.) It was like she was being held hostage. The worst part of the whole thing is, at least in the beginning, Larissa really seemed to like Colt(ee), but he was no Prince Charming from the jump. Her first day in America, when she arrived at the airport, he met her empty-handed, and her request for twenty bucks worth of flowers was too much. She should have turned around right then and there.

https://radaronline.com/exclusives/2019/05/90-day-fiance-star-colt-johnsons-mom-talks-larissa-deportation/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

🚬 Interesting…

Mostly because I thought Claus von Bülow was dead already. While it’s not really that crazy of a story, the best part is his mistress was Alexandria Isles aka Alexandrea Moltke aka Victoria Winters from the original Dark Shadows.. No surprise, she’s never gone to any of the conventions.

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/05/30/obituaries/claus-von-bulow-dead.html

💡 Quotes of the Week

Who are you? The topless photo police?Dr. Phil to a girl who outed Miss Tennessee by sending nude photos of the pageant queen to pageant officials

Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you. – Joey Adams (Excellent advice!)

Most people have the will to win, few have the will to prepare to win. – Bobby Knight

The act of discovering who we are will force us to accept that we can go further than we think.Paulo Coelho

Vision without action is merely a dream. Action without vision just passes the time. Vision with action can change the world. – Joel A. Barker

As the twig is bent the tree inclines.Virgil

Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. – George Burns

One isn’t necessarily born with courage, but one is born with potential. Without courage, we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency. We can’t be kind, true, merciful, generous, or honest.Maya Angelou

The mysterious is always attractive. People will always follow a veil. – Bede Jarrett

The good times of today, are the sad thoughts of tomorrow. – Bob Marley

🐧 What It Is…

The reality of my weekend:

WeekendSleeping (2)

versus

What I wish it would be:

May 28, 2019 – Sam Says Game Over, Mitch Keeps the Peace, Farrahween, Bad Joke Overreaction, a Little Balance, Another Breakup & a Baby Lion

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Scotty finds Ava in the interrogation room. She asks what he’s doing there, and he says he heard she got arrested on the police scanner. She’s not walking into the arraignment alone. He’s there; let him help her. She says if he wants to help, bring her confirmation that she killed Ryan.

Jordan stirs, and Curtis says he doesn’t know how she does it; waking up looking beautiful every day. She calls him a liar, and he says, facts. She starts to sit up, and he tells her, be careful. He’ll get a nurse. She says, talk to her. What happened? He asks what she remembers. She says he came back from Canada. Did he find Ryan?

On the phone, Monica finds out Ryan is still in surgery. Drew approaches, and she asks how he’s doing. He says that’s kind of why he’s there. He has some things to take care of before he and Kim leave town. She says, they’re going away together?

Julian gives Kim some paperwork, and says they should have no problem going through customs. Kim thanks him, and he says he knows how much the trip means to her. He hopes it brings her peace. She does too. He hugs her, and says he wishes he could make it easier. She says he is. She knows Oscar would want her to do this. She goes into the bedroom to get her passport, and Julian calls Alexis. He thanks her for the expedited paperwork. Kim needs to bring Oscar’s ashes to Mount Kilimanjaro. He never thought things could move that fast. She’s glad she can help, and he says he owes her already for getting him out of jail. She says he should thank Doc for dropping the charges. He wishes all of his problems were that easily solved. Kim comes back, and he says he was thanking Alexis for greasing the wheels. She says, he got arrested?

Sam and Jason look into Shiloh’s room. Jason asks how she’s feeling, and Sam says, like a huge weight has been lifted. It’s one of the hardest cons she’s ever had to run. She hated pretending to believe what Shiloh said; it was disgusting. Jason says he’ll see if Monica can get a rush on the toxicology report.

Neil visits Alexis. He tells her that he’s anxious to see how the plan to neutralize Shiloh panned out. Alexis says, apparently, he drugged Sam, who was kept for observation, but she’ll be okay. He’s glad about that, but wonders how did the plan work?

Sam sits on Shiloh’s bed. He says, please tell him that Jason failed, and adds, no matter how hard Jason tries, he can’t keep them apart.

Ava asks if Ryan is dead or not, but Scotty doesn’t know. She says she lives in hope. What happened is justice; a knife in Ryan’s back. Her only regret is that she didn’t twist it. Scotty says she can think that, but don’t say it. If he does, she could face a murder rap. She says he makes it sound like she’s done something to be ashamed of. She avenged her daughter’s death. Scotty says she can call it revenge or justice, but she’s pleading not guilty.

Jordan tells Curtis that she needs to know. He tells her, relax. Ava used herself as bait, luring Ryan to a remote cabin, where he caught up with her. Chase took Ryan into custody, and Ava stabbed him in the back while he was handcuffed. He’s in surgery. Jordan wonders if he’ll make it, but Curtis doesn’t know. She says she can’t blame Ava. Badge or no badge, she’d want the same thing. Curtis says they need Ryan to live. She asks what he isn’t he telling her.

Drew tells Monica that he and Kim are leaving for Tanzania. They’re taking Oscar’s ashes to Mont Kilimanjaro, since Oscar never made the trip. He wanted her blessing, since the Quartermaines are usually buried in the crypt. She says, not this time. She thinks Kilimanjaro is perfect for Oscar, but if they don’t mind, she’d like to put Oscar’s plaque in with the rest of the family. Drew thinks Oscar would like that. He loved being part of the family. He had a special spirit. Monica says he got it naturally from his father. Drew doesn’t know about that, but appreciates her saying it. Jason approaches, saying he doesn’t want to interrupt. Drew says it’s not an interruption. They’re family, right?

Alexis tells Neil that they need proof Shiloh drugged Sam. Then they can force him to return Kristina’s Pledge. Neil thinks maybe that will cancel some of Kristina’s self-criticism and self-blame, but she still has a long way to go. Alexis appreciates his help, and he says he’s still her therapist; she’s still his priority. Alexis says she’s not sure she’s the one with the problem. Kristina appears, and says, that would be her.

Shiloh tells Sam that Jason can’t hurt them now. His heart is full that she still believes, and is listening to her inner voice. She says he’s so in love with himself. He’s the one in love with his inner voice.  He asks what she’s saying, and she says, game over, Shiloh, Hank, David, or whatever he’s calling himself. You lose.

Ava asks Scotty what difference it makes, as long as the bastard who killed her daughter is dead. He says a first year law student could handle her case. She has to plead temporary insanity. Ava says if the DA says it was premeditated, she’d be right. Ava had every intention of killing Ryan. It didn’t play out the way she’d planned, but hopefully, she got the job done. He says, how about this? She matters to him. She might have given up on herself, but he hasn’t.

Julian tells Kim it was no big deal; one night in lockup. He was defending his sister’s honor, and slugged Doc, but he dropped the charges. Kim heard him say there were other problems. What else isn’t he telling her? He says he’s a big boy; he can take care of himself. She knows he can, but she wants to know if he needs her. Is he in trouble? His phone rings. He says, it’s Scotty, and might be about Ava. Scotty asks where he is. Didn’t he hear the news Ava was arrested? She’s at the PCPD, and needs him now. Julian tells Kim that he has to go. Ava’s been arrested. She says she’s coming with him, but he says she has a plane to catch. When she comes back, he’ll be there and waiting for her. She says he’d better be, and they kiss.

Curtis tells Jordan, something else happened. She says she was relieved to hear he was okay. Her heart was beating hard, and she couldn’t catch her breath. He says she had a cardiac episode, and she asks if he means a heart attack. He says, everything is under control, and she tells him, just say it. He says the dialysis put a strain on her heart. If she continues it, her heart will be compromised.

Jason asks if Drew wants him to do anything while he’s gone. Drew says, maybe one thing. He can get a head start on the plans for the treehouse. Monica says Oscar expected them to build it together, and Jason says he’ll order the supplies, and they can start when Drew gets back. They shake hands, and Drew leaves. Monica says she didn’t want to worry Drew any further, but how’s Sam. Jason says, she’s clear to go home, but they need her to expedite the toxicology report. They need proof Shiloh drugged Sam.

Alexis says it doesn’t look like Kristina got much sleep, and Kristina says she had a rough night. She knows Sam just got involved with DOD because of her. Neil says Kristina’s concern is admirable, and shows that Shiloh no longer has a hold over her, but Kristina says, he does. There’s something about DOD she didn’t tell them.

Sam puts her finger in Shiloh’s face, and says she’s so sick of listening to his voice. I’m dying laughing, he’s so surprised. She ask if he knows how hard it was to listen to his self-serving garbage. He says all he was trying to do was help her, and Jason threw him down the stairs. That’s attempted murder. She says, is it? Does he have a witness? She answers her own question, saying, no, he doesn’t. Because he abducted her, and they were alone in the tower. She was too drugged up to resist. He says she willingly drank the tea, and committed to the ceremony. She willing signed the Pledge. She says, please. The Pledge was as bogus as his book. What did Molly call it? Cliché and derivative. Jason walks in, and Sam asks if he has it. He says he sure does. The toxicology report says Sam was drugged. He says she drank the tea willingly, but Jason tells him, the recording says different. Shiloh says he didn’t consent to being recorded, but Sam says she did, and in the state of New York, that’s all they need. Jason says, assault, attempted rape; who knows what else they’ll find when they start investigating? Shiloh is going to prison for a long time.

Julian meets Scotty at the station, and asks, what the hell happened? Scotty says Ryan tried to resurrect himself, and Ava tried to put an end to him once and for all, allegedly sticking a knife in his back while he was handcuffed. Julian says, good for her, but Scotty says she’s pleading guilty. He wants her to plead temporary insanity, but she won’t budge. He wants Julian to talk to her.

Ava tells Kiki that she’ll be able to rest. Her killer is going to pay. Julian comes in, and Ava says Scotty must have called him. Julian has to hand it to her. She had him fooled. Nice work. She fooled him into thinking she was in love with Doc. She asks if Ryan is dead. He doesn’t know for sure, but he’s guessing no. He tells her that she can’t plead guilty. She asks, why? She set out to avenge her daughter, and it’s what she did. She’s not hiding it; she’s proud of it.

Josslyn visits Kim, saying she got Kim’s message. It’s weird. They were together practically 24/7 before Oscar passed away, and now Josslyn hasn’t seen her since. Kim says she couldn’t face the Nurses Ball, and Josslyn says she almost didn’t go herself. Cameron brought her a message from Oscar, a video he’d pre-recorded. He said he wanted her to live her life, starting at the Nurses Ball by singing. Kim can only imagine how hard it was. Josslyn says she knows it sounds weird, but when she thought she couldn’t do it, Oscar was there. She saw him, and didn’t want to let him down, so she sang. Kim says, it’s not weird. She’s sure Oscar was there. He loved music, and he loved her, which is why she and Drew are sure he’d want her to have this. He hands her Oscar’s guitar.

Curtis tells Jordan that they’ll get through this. Jordan says the kidney transplant isn’t a quality of life issue anymore; it’s life or death. She knows why he wants Ryan alive. Doc is a match, and Ryan is his twin. Curtis says if Ryan lives, he’ll convince him to donate. She asks, if he dies? and Curtis says he’s going to save her. He doesn’t care what it costs, or what favors he has to call in. Wherever he has to go, he’ll go there. She says don’t make her arrest him. He says as ruthless as Ryan was, he’s that in love. He’s going to find a way to give her the second chance at life she deserves.

Alexis tells Kristina, there’s no point reliving nightmare, but she wants to say it while she has the courage. It’s not what Shiloh did, it’s what she did before joining the Trust. He wanted her to make an offering; a secret that was deep and important. Alexis asks if she means the Pledge. Kristina asks if Alexis knows what she gave Shiloh, and Alexis says, not unless she wants to tell.

Shiloh tells Jason and Sam that Sonny threatened him. Jason says, Sonny doesn’t make threats. Sam says Shiloh has no idea how hard she had to work to convince Sonny to let her deal with him herself. Kristina is her sister, but Sonny is an overprotective father. She wouldn’t be surprised if Sonny did deal with Shiloh himself. Not now; there’s too much scrutiny. Jason says when he’s sent to Pentonville, when everyone has forgotten about him, accidents happen. Shiloh asks what they want. Jason says, Kristina’s Pledge. Give it to them or they give him up to the cops.

Ava thinks she should get a medal for stabbing Ryan. The DA agreed to call off the search, giving a serial killer a free pass. Ava never believed he was dead, and she out-manipulated him. The only reason she didn’t pull the trigger, was because Curtis said Kiki would want her to help save Jordan, and he was right. Kiki was too generous for her own good, but Ava knows better. The only way to get justice in this world is to take it. Scotty says Curtis can testify to her state of mind. If she flushes her life down the drain, Ryan wins. Is that what she wants?

Josslyn tells Kim that’s she’ll have to see if she remembers what Oscar taught her. Drew arrives, and asks if Kim is ready. He tells Josslyn the guitar looks good on her. Kim tells him that she wanted Josslyn to have before they left. Josslyn asks where they’re going, and Kim says they’re taking a trip. Drew says they’re going to make Oscar’s trip to Mount Kilimanjaro. Kim adds, to say goodbye to their son.

Monica joins Curtis is Jordan’s room. He says he was just explaining about getting a new kidney. Monica says, that’s the plan. Does Jordan have any questions? Jordan asks if Ryan is out of surgery, and Monica says, stand down, commissioner. She just had a serious episode, and can’t afford any strain on her heart. She tells Jordan to take a leave of absence. Let someone else do the job. She helped save Port Charles from a monster. The least they can do is help give her back her life.

Kristina says when Shiloh told her that he wanted something important and personal, she thought about when she tried to blackmail Parker, but he didn’t want that. He wanted… Neil says, something more useful that he could cash in later. Kristina says she was too stupid to see it, and Alexis says she was betrayed by someone she trusted. Kristina says, now they’re all going to pay the price, and Alexis asks what she told him. Kristina says, something about her family.

Shiloh asks if this is over if he gives them the Pledge. Jason says, it’s already over. He’s never going to bother Kristina again. It’s up to him if he walks away or not. Shiloh says He’ll cooperate, and Jason asks where the Pledges are. Shiloh says in the place where Jason almost killed him.

Ava tells Julian she lured Ryan to her cabin with every intention of killing him, and stabbed him in the back in front of police witnesses, but she was never more sane or sure of anything. How can she get around that? Julian says they can deal with the questions, but he can’t deal with her giving up. She needs to keep her mouth shut, and do what Scotty says. She calls Scotty her knight in shining armor. Julian says if she wants revenge, she needs to plead not guilty. If Ryan ends up in Ferncliff while she goes to prison, she won’t be able to finish what she started.

Josslyn says, Oscar talked a lot about Kilimanjaro, especially after he got sick. Oscar would want them to take him there. He wouldn’t want to be in an urn in a vault, but under the stars. If he knew they were doing it together, it would make him even happier. Drew asks if she wants a ride, but she thinks she’ll stop by the park. She’s going to Oscar’s Meadow, and see if she remembers the chords he taught her. She thanks Kim, and hugs her. Drew hopes she thinks about Oscar when she plays, and she says she’s always thinking of him. She hugs Drew, and tells them to take lots of pictures. She leaves, and Kim says Josslyn has been through so much, and stays so strong. Drew says, she’s not the only one.

Monica checks Jordan’s vitals, and says her blood pressure is elevated, and she has a low grade fever. The sooner they find a kidney, the better. Curtis says they need Ryan to make it through surgery. Monica says she’ll check on him. Jordan thanks her, and Monica says again, they owe her. She leaves, and Jordan doesn’t know what’s worse; her heart nearly stopping or agreeing to a leave of absence. Curtis says she’ll be back to fighting for truth and justice in no time. Until then just get better. Let him pamper her; he’ll fluff her pillow, spoon feed her rocky road ice cream, whatever she needs. She says she has everything she needs right there, and he kisses her.

Alexis tells Kristina, don’t worry. Whatever she said, they’ll deal with it. Neil thinks it’s a family matter, and it’s best to keep it that way. Kristina thanks him for his help, and he says, there’s more where that came from. He’s just a phone call away. When he’s gone, Alexis says Kristina is very brave to come forward. Whatever secret she told, her father will take care of it. Kristina says, it’s not about him.

Sam and Jason go to the tower. Sam looks sick, and remembers Shiloh starting to get undressed, and saying they were destined to know each other on every level. It starts tonight. Jason tells her that she can wait downstairs, but she says she’ll be okay. She thought she could fight him off, but she couldn’t. She was thinking, poor Kristina; she would have been alone. Jason says Sam would have been looking out for her. They start looking for the Pledges.

Kim says she promised not to cry on Drew’s shoulder anymore, and he asks what else is he good for? She says he needs his strength to climb the mountain, and more when he gets to the top. He says that’s why they’re doing it together. Kim says they have a plane to catch, and he says, they do. Let’s go. They head out.

Ava tells Julian it never occurred to her that Ryan might live. He would just end up back in Ferncliff or some other institution. Julian says, and Kiki’s murder goes unavenged. Scotty returns, saying he spoke to the judge. Ava is going to be arraigned this afternoon. He hopes Julian convinced her to fight. Ava tells him, don’t just stand there looking good. Start earning your fee.

Curtis says he and Jordan never got their honeymoon in Fiji. They could start looking at hotels. Sun and sand will do them some good. Monica tells them that Ryan is out of surgery, and Curtis asks if he’s going to make it. She says, it’s too early tell. Jordan wonders why Ryan would consent to give her a kidney.

Alexis says Shiloh needed leverage to use against Kristina or someone she loves. Kristina says she’s so sorry. Alexis says, if the secret isn’t about Kristina’s father… it’s about her.

Jason opens a desk drawer, and says, found it.. Sam asks how they know those are real, and Jason says they’ll have to open one. He picks up Margaux’s envelope. Good choice! He opens it, and looks at Sam, saying, it looks real to him. Sam looks through the envelopes and finds Kristina’s. She says, that’s it. Shiloh is finally finished. Jason says, not yet, but they’re close.

Tomorrow, Sasha tells Nina that she loves it there, Alexis asks Kristina what’s in the Pledge, Maxie doesn’t believe it, and Jason tells Sonny he has leverage against the DA.

The Haves and the Have Nots

Madison keeps trying to call David, but gets voicemail. He asks his co-worker Tisha (I got a name!) if she’s sure it’s him, and she says, it’s the same address. He thinks David is probably out on Valium. He says he told Jeffrey not to go over there. He tries the radio, and Tisha makes a call. Madison thinks it’s David, but she’s gotten Veronica, who’s just pulling into her driveway. Madison says he thinks Jeffrey has been hurt, and to come to the hospital. She says, who is this? and he realizes he’s not talking to David. He says, it’s Madison, and Veronica asks, what happened? He says, just come. Veronica drives back out.

Madison asks why Tisha called Jeffrey’s mother. She says, it’s on his records, and she’s his mother. He says Tisha doesn’t know her. David calls back, and Madison says he needs to come to the hospital. It’s Jeffrey. David asks, what’s wrong? and Madison says he just needs to come. David is like, damn, and jets.

Veronica gets there first. Tisha tells her the ambulance isn’t there yet; she’s still waiting to hear. Veronica says Tisha called her. What the hell happened? Madison comes out, and says, a shooting. They got a call from the address that there were two gunshot wounds to the head. David arrives, and Madison says, there are two gunshot wounds to the head coming in. Davis asks if Jeffrey has been shot, but Madison doesn’t know. David asks why he called, and Madison says, it’s his address; Spanish Moss Trail. Veronica says, whose address that is. Is it that boy? David says, yes. She says she told him to get that boy in line. David asks if Madison has called the ambulance. Madison says he’s been trying, but he’s not getting a response. They must be working on him. David says he should have made Jeffrey leave, and Veronica asks if Jeffrey was with that homosexual girl. Tisha gets a call, and says, it’s not two; it’s one wound, but she doesn’t know which one of them it is. It doesn’t look good. She says she’s sorry. A gurney is quickly wheeled past, and Veronica yells for Jeffrey. David says he’ll kill that son of a bitch.

Meanwhile, at the Iron Bone (I just like saying that), Mitch sees a cousin/uncle/thug/whatever, and says, look who’s up early drinking beer. Dude says, it’s the breakfast of champions. Funny. I thought that was a Hall’s cough drop, coffee, and a cigarette. Mitch asks where Uncle Vinnie is. He’s going to meet with Cryer. Dude says, the guy who stabbed Uncle Vinnie? but Mitch says, his father. Dude suggests he get Vinnie’s $50K, and while he’s at it, he heard Vinnie talking about that Black kid. He wants his money. Mitch says Benny is working on it, and dude wonders how the hell Benny has $8 million, and can’t pay back the family. Mitch asks if he’s stupid, and dude says, what’s stupid is Benny not paying what he owed. Uncle Vinnie was drunk last night, and talking crazy. Mitch says he’ll be back later with the money, and dude says he’d better be.

Madison tells David and Veronica, still no word on the surgery. Veronica asks, what kind of hospital is this? and David says, stay calm. She says she told him, but he doesn’t need to hear that. She asks what the address is, and he says, Spanish Moss Trail, apartment number seven; why? She wants to see what happened, and make sure the DA gets all the evidence. She’s going to put that bastard homosexual away for life. David says their son is in surgery, and may not make it. She says, Jeffrey will make it. He’s a fighter like his momma. She’s a survivor, not like him, letting Jeffrey go be with those people. They’re wicked. Doesn’t he get it? They’re evil. Destruction follows them everywhere. Does he know how many are on crystal meth? Disease and death follows them, and it’s what he allowed for their child. They’re sodomites, and he allowed it. He did that, and now look at this. This is war, and it’s all his fault. She tried to tell him. If Jeffrey doesn’t make it, she promises… A crying Madison approaches them, and says he’s sorry. Jeffrey didn’t make it. Just as I’m thinking, hmm… we didn’t actually see him, Madison says he was told the African American guy didn’t make it. Veronica asks, why do you people lie so much? You lie about everything. Lying is in your DNA. He even lies about something this serious. The smell on him disgusts her. She comes close to him, and sniffs. She says he smells like a lie. Why is he crying? Don’t cry over her boy; he’s not dead. She grabs Madison’s face, and says, liar. She walks out. David asks where he is. Madison calls the doctor, and David cries.

Wyatt pretends to be Jim, and calls through to Kathryn’s car.

In Kathryn’s car, impressing his friends, RK tells them he’s changed things. He’s different; he’s better. He’s got them. The phone rings, startling him. Wyatt tells him, get his ass over there. RK says his guy wasn’t around, and he had to wait until morning. Wyatt had better have the money. Wyatt says RK better be on his way. If he isn’t, Jim is going to report the car stolen, and RK will get caught with his stuff. RK says just make sure he has the damn money. He’s on his way. He says, you can call the car. It’s like a spaceship

Jim sees Kathryn sleeping, and slams the door. He says, hungover? and she says, yes, you ass. He says, good. Is he talking too LOUD? She says, like he’s never been hungover. He says the child who brought her home stole her car. She asks, what child? and he says she doesn’t remember? She says, who cares? and he says her car is gone. He stole it. She says she’ll get another one, but Jim says not before he puts the kid’s ass in jail. She says, the kid from the bar? He says she’s stupid when it comes to money, but she disagrees. That’s why she has a lot, and he’s done. He has none. The stupidest thing she ever did was marry him. He says that was the smartest thing. He keeps her in money. It’s his brand that kept her rich. She gave Hanna $8 million; is that smart? Kathryn says, she’ll give it back, and tells him, don’t go near Hanna’s son; she means it. He tells her, take a shower. She smells like a daycare. She suggests he take a hike off a cliff. In a really odd moment, he helps her up, and fixes the covers. Force of habit?

Wyatt tells Jim that someone is coming up the driveway. Jim says, he’s a Malone. Mitch rings the bell, and Jim comes out. Mitch introduces himself, saying, he came to negotiate a truce. Money for his son. Wyatt did a lot of damage, and the family is pissed. He’s there to keep the peace. Jim says he has no idea what Mitch is talking about, and Mitch asks if that’s a game Jim wants to play. Jim asks how he knows it was Wyatt, and Mitch says he found the receipt with Wyatt’s name on it. Jim asks what he wants, and Mitch says, $75K. Jim asks if that’s how much the drugs were worth that Wyatt bought, and Mitch says, it’s not about what Wyatt bought. It’s about him buying peace. Jim thinks it’s unreasonable, but Mitch says he doesn’t. Especially if his grandma found out his son put hers in the hospital. Jim has to agree, and Mitch says he’ll wait. He’s not going anywhere until he gets it. Jim says he’ll write a check, but Mitch says, the family doesn’t do checks. Cash only. Jim says he’ll bring it to the bar in the morning. Mitch says his uncle is pretty pissed. He suggests Jim give to him. Jim says, if he does this, his son will be left alone. Mitch says, yeah, but Jim has a question. It’s usually blood for blood. What’s different? Mitch says Jim has him in the middle. He doesn’t need this war. Jim says, all right.

Wyatt asks what Mitch said, and Jim asks how much he spent buying drugs from them. Wyatt asks how much Jim stole from him. Jim has half a mind to let them have Wyatt’s sorry ass. Wyatt says it would be better than being stuck there. Jim says the Malones aren’t playing games; they’ll kill Wyatt. It’s serious business. Wyatt says if Jim hadn’t taken his money, he wouldn’t be in this situation. Jim wonders how he raised such a fool, and Wyatt says Jim’s a fool for taking his money. Jim says he did it for Wyatt’s own good. Every time Wyatt does damage, and Jim digs out of the pile of sh*t, Wyatt makes another one for him to climb into. Wyatt tells Jim, go to hell. Jim says, he might, but Wyatt’s ass better be happy in his room. If the Malones get to it before they get their money, he won’t have an ass left. Jim asks, is this what happens when you get a participation award? Ha-ha! Everyone is cracking me up tonight.

Scott hunts down Roderick at the Artisian. He says he’s with the Attorney General’s office. Roderick asks what he can do for him, and Scott says he can start be not looking nervous. Does he have something to hide? Roderick says, no, and Scott shows him a picture of Candace, asking if he knows her. Roderick says, no, and Scott asks if he mentioned he was an FBI agent; top of his class. Roderick says, good for him. Scott says he rose to the top quickly, and knows Roderick is lying. He’ll ask again; does he know her? Roderick says, no, he doesn’t, and Scott says he wants to make it hard. Okay. He makes a call, asking about Roderick’s real name. Roderick asks what he’s doing, and Scott says, calling Homeland Security. Roderick gets super nervous, and says he remembers; he knows her. Scott hangs up. Roderick asks if he’s getting deported, but Scott says that depends on how much help he’s going to be. They’ve got cameras all around. They can start with surveillance. Where’s security? Roderick leads the way.

Candace asks what Charles is what up to today, and he says, what else? They’re packing up and moving. He’d love for her to see it. She’s excited that she gets to see his house. A house tells a lot about a person. He laughs, and looks out the window. She asks if it’s something interesting, and he says, yeah. America. She calls him Mr. President Elect, and he says she likes the sound of that. She says she likes the sound of him, especially right before that moment. He purrs. He says, no, he doesn’t, and she says, like a kitten. He says he roars like a lion, and she says, a baby lion. Hakuna Matata. There’s a knock at door. A guy who isn’t Landon says he needs to talk to Charles in private, and Candace goes to her adjoining room.

Not-Landon tells Charles, Lisa from the Times is doing a story on Candace, and it’s not a good one. Landon flew NYC to see if he can get the story killed, but he thinks it’s still going to go. Candace blackmailed and damaged several high profile. Her cover was blown when they saw her on TV. Charles says, Landon will take care of it, but not-Landon doesn’t think so. He knows Lisa, and there’s this guy. He shows Charles a picture of the AG, and says, he’s already spoken to the President. They think he’s the one making trouble, and they need to get Candace out of there. Charles asks how long they have, and not-Landon says, it depends on Landon, but he’s pretty sure there’s nothing Landon can do. Charles says, it’s his job, but not-Landon says if they don’t handle this now, it could get messy and nasty. Charles hears him, but doesn’t want Candace to go. Not-Landon knows he likes her, but she’s trouble for him, and them. They need to distance themselves from her. Charles wants her to come. If not-Landon hears from Landon, let him know.

Candace comes back, and asks if everything is okay. He says, just Presidential stuff. She asks what it’s like in the White House. Is there someone to teach you protocol? He says, yeah, and she says she has so many questions. He has to shower, and she offers to join him, but he says, no. He needs a moment.

Candace’s phone rings. It’s Benny. He asks if she’s all right. He saw the news. Is she with him? She says she thinks so, and Benny asks if they’re dating? She says, that’s what it looks like. He tells her, be careful, and she asks, why? He says because he’s her annoying kid brother, and he always has to look out for her. That’s why. She asks if Hanna saw, and what she said. Benny tells her, not much. She’s been acting funny lately. It has something to do with that dude she’s seeing. He says he’ll find out. He asks if Charles knows about everything, and she says he does. Hanna comes down, and there’s a three-way hello. Benny says he’ll call Candace back later.

Benny asks if Hanna is making breakfast, but she says they’ll pick something up on the way to the bank. They’re giving the money back. Benny says he needs to pay Mitch’s family. She says she knows that. She talked to Kathryn, who’s going to give her a loan off of the interest so Benny can pay them. And he’s going to help her pay Kathryn back. She tells him, don’t borrow from people like that no more, and he promises he won’t. The doorbell rings, and Benny says he’ll get it, but Hanna says, don’t. He asks if it’s that dude, and she says she doesn’t want talk to him. Benny says he’s been blowing up her phone all day. What did he do? Hanna says, let it go. Benny says he’ll break Derrick’s neck, but Hanna tells him to tend to his own wounds right now. Derrick just isn’t the man she thought he was. Benny says he told her there was something he didn’t like; he knew it. She says, let it go. Benny wants to know what Derrick did, but she tells him, get dressed. The bell rings again

Tisha tells Madison that she’s sorry. He asks if she’s sure the one who died was African American. She is, and he says, the one they took to the ER? She says, he’s not. They need a relative to ID the body, and Madison says he’ll talk to David. Tisha asks if he’s okay, and he says, no. She tells him again, she’s sorry. Madison tells David they need him to identify the body. David cries. Madison says he is so sorry, and David says take him to his son. Why didn’t we see either one of them though? I’m still thinking there could be a mix-up here.

Scott goes through security footage. He sees Candace follow a guy to his room. Scott says he’ll be taking all the footage, but Roderick says he can’t let him. He needs to call the owner. Scott tells him to do what he feels. He tells the security guy to leave, and asks Roderick what’s going on? A girl pays him, and he gives her money later. It’s happening night after night. Roderick thought he was looking for Candace, but Scott says he’s looking for everything. He wants to know what’s going on – now. Roderick asks if he needs a lawyer. Scott says Roderick needs to tell him what’s going on, or he’s going to be arrested. Spit it out. Roderick wants to call the owner, but Scott says he’ll take Roderick along with the evidence. He asks who the leader of the ring is, and Roderick says, not him. Scott asks if it’s the owner, but he says she’s not aware of it. Scott asks who she is, and Roderick says, Kathryn Cryer is the main owner. There’s a board, but she owns the largest share. Scott says it could make money for her, but Roderick says, it’s small money to her. Scott asks if Roderick is having an affair with her, and he says, no… okay. Scott says he saw the damn tape. Stop lying, and tell him everything. Does her husband know? Roderick says, no. Jim threatened him. Scott says he saw that moment at the bar. It didn’t look pleasant. Roderick says, it wasn’t. Scott asks, who’s in charge? and Roderick finally says, Candace. Scott says, now they’re talking. Does the President know she was a prostitute? Roderick doesn’t know, and Scott says, get her on the phone. Roderick says, she spooks easy; she’ll know right away. Scott says Roderick has been very helpful, but he needs a lot more. Roderick says, if he tells Scott everything, will he still get deported? Scott says that depends on how much he helps. Keep bringing it. Scott asks, who’s this guy? pointing to RK. Roderick says, he works with her. Scott points to Rocky, and says, this guy? Rocky says they’re all in this together. Scott asks, is there a code word? Roderick says if you order whiskey on the rocks with a beer chaser and mudded lime. Scott says, okay. Let’s have some fun.

Madison and David approach the body. David takes a breath. Madison holds his. The cover is lifted, and David says…

Veronica is on a porch, and when someone opens the door, she’s shocked.

Next time, Madison tells David they got a call from that address, Hanna tells Benny they’re giving the money back, and Jim tells Kathryn if they don’t give the Malones $75K cash by the end of the day, they’ll put a hit out on Wyatt.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

It’s the last breakfast in Hawaii. Kyle isn’t feeling well, and can’t afford to be sick. When she gets home, she has to get ready for Farrah’s 30th birthday. Dorit says she’s a little tired and anxious to get home. We see clips of Kyle and Mauricio out the night before. Camille joins the women and Mauricio. In her interview, she says it’s kind of trippy, waking up and being a Mrs. again. Mauricio asks if they’re going anywhere for a honeymoon, and Camille says, Switzerland. Kyle, who can’t seem to keep a lid on it, says she found out something weird. One of the family home of one of Alexia’s friend’s was burglarized. The construction workers were taking a lie detector test, and LVP was there taking one. Camille says, it’s ridiculous. Over a dog? Honestly, I don’t get their reaction to this, since they’re the ones who made the big deal out of calling LVP a liar. Camille says she hasn’t seen anything from LVP. LisaR tries to get her to admit it’s a huge devastation, but Camille says, it’s a little owey. LisaR says LVP doesn’t have to behave that way. Camille thinks it’s hurtful and sad. She wishes LVP could be there for her and dismiss all of this. Kyle says they have to get moving, and Camille thanks them all for coming.

Denise gets home from filming. She finds a gift from LisaR and Harry. The note says, Cheers to you and Aaron. Many happy endings! Eloise lost a tooth, and Denise tells her about the tooth fairy. In her interview, Denise says she’s grateful that Aaron is okay with her being on location with her ex-boyfriend. If their roles were reversed, she doesn’t know if she’d be as understanding. She might say she was, but she’d be a little jealous. Aaron is puzzled about the happy endings remark, and she says she may have done something he won’t be too happy about. We flash back to her telling the story about finding him a happy ending when she went camping. She says she didn’t get into the details, and told them he was mortified. Aaron says, it was awkward. Denise says it might not have been the weirdest thing ever if she hadn’t been a hundred years old. Aaron says, two hundred. She says some of the women were a little judgmental, but they can judge all they want. He says, it’s out there now.

Kyle packs her million pairs of shoes back up. She says it was so much fun. Everyone had a great time. and got along. That in itself is a wedding gift for Camille. In the airport limo, LisaR brings up an article in People magazine about LVP and Camille. Dorit says she was way surprised. LisaR reads that Camille said LVP helped her take a leap of faith, and she respects LVP’s decision not to attend the wedding. In LisaR’s interview, she says Camille tells them one thing, and something different in the article. She doesn’t trust both sides of Camille’s mouth. Because I guess Camille can’t possibly feel more than one way, or maybe felt differently later on. LisaR says Camille needs to own her sh*t, and had better step up. Ha-ha! Or what? Since she can never stop being a big-mouthed jerk, LisaR tells Dorit that Camille says not nice things behind her back. We flash back to Camille saying Dorit makes the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. Dorit says Camille claimed it was great getting to know her. We see a clip from the camping trip where Camille says now that she knows Dorit better, they can move forward. I’d also like to point out that when Camille said that to LisaR, it was way before the camping trip. Dorit says, don’t pretend to be nice.  Kyle tells her that Camille says what she thinks someone wants to hear. Teddi doesn’t care about the article, but at least tell them. I can’t believe none of these women understand how tabloids work.

Dorit tells PK he’s not allowed to have chips. Crunch on carrots. Somehow, I don’t think that’s going to work for him.

Erika asks Tom if he wants to come to a party. She got a text from Kyle, but he suddenly has something else to do. Can’t say I blame him.

Kyle picks up LisaR, who disgusts me at this point. LisaR is going for a mammogram. Both her mom and half-sister had double mastectomies, and she’s a little nervous. Kyle asks what LisaR is wearing to the party, but LisaR wants it to be a surprise. Kyle says there are going to be five hundred people. She still has to get a Ferris wheel. She says the party cost about fifteen Birkin bags. LisaR asks what she remembers about being pregnant the first time. She was screaming and crying, and locked the door when she found out there were so many tests, and the nurse wasn’t having it. Well, that does sound a little insane.

LisaR says, it was quite a weekend. When People magazine came out, she lost her sh*t. She wasn’t happy that she told Dorit that Camille was talking about her, but she felt like she had enough. So let me get this straight. LisaR had enough, so she decided to hurt both Camille and Dorit by telling Dorit that Camille had been talking about her. Okay. Does she ever look in a mirror?

Since Kyle was already scheduled for next week, she jumps on LisaR’s mammo-tails and gets in her appointment now. LisaR says now she can focus on Kyle’s anxiety rather than her own. In Kyle’s interview, she says it gives her anxiety, but her mom died because she didn’t get one. If she’d gone, maybe she’d still be with them. Kyle is haunted by it. In LisaR’s interview, she thinks the anxiety leading up to the test is more frightening than the procedure. The radiologist shows LisaR her results on a laptop, and she’s good. More pictures are wanted from Kyle, and she freaks. In her interview, she says when she was turning thirty, her mom found a lump. Now here she is. They think the see something the day of daughter’s thirtieth birthday.

We all nervously wait. Kyle looks like she going to pass out, and starts crying. She tells LisaR that she has to wait. The radiologist apologizes, and tells Kyle it looks great. LisaR hugs her, and Kyle says she just got scared when they wanted to look again. LisaR says she’s all good, and the radiologist says it was just dense tissue.

Dorit tells PK she doesn’t think anyone will be coming to the party as Karl Lagerfeld, and he says he doesn’t think anyone can compete. In Dorit’s interview, she says she loves Halloween. PK is going as Karl, and she’s his kitty cat, Choupette. PK’s head is sweating in the wig already, and I feel his pain. I have given up on Halloween wigs at parties forever.

LisaR says she has to nail it. In her interview, she says when she dresses up, she’s one hundred million percent. She wants to get as close as she can to the look, and act the part. I’m sure she does. Can I start a Make LisaR Go Away page on Facebook?

Farrah’s party is being set up. Kyle says since Farrah was born on Halloween, they’ve always called it Farrahween. She’s flown Alexia home for the occasion. Kyle asks if Alexia’s dad has seen her outfit, and we see a clip of Mauricio wondering where the rest of it is. Kyle says their mom can dress like a tramp if she wants to. She’s going as a Playboy bunny, and has paid over $600 for what’s basically a black one-piece swimsuit and ears. The tail was an extra $45. If that’s what it means to be rich, I think I could do it better.

No surprise, the decorations are fabulous. Subtler, yet more lavish than Dorinda in the Berkshires. Teddi calls Kyle, who’s stuck in her expensive costume, since the zipper won’t work. She’s waiting for an Uber bringing her another one. Teddi says she’s about a block away, and Kyle asks her to entertain everyone until she figures out what she’s doing. Teddi is dressed as Harley Quinn (me two Halloweens ago), and arrives with Edwin Joker. A vampire jumps out at them. Teddi hates it. Denise follows, in a mini Marie Antoinette dress and wig, with Aaron wearing something Edwardian.

Kyle says she’s literally stuck, and has to pee. Mauricio says he can take it off. He hands her a new costume, and brings her new costume. He rips the back open on the one she’s stuck in, and she gets pissed, saying what if the new one doesn’t work?

Outside, Dorit freaks at the vampire jumping out. Erika says their costumes are clever. I’m surprised that she’s so boring as a leopard or something. LisaR comes as Erika, and Erika loves it. She says she saw herself. It wasn’t her, but it was her at Coachella. She says LisaR nailed it. In her interview, LisaR says, Erika is every girls dream; sexual, over-the-top, and can get away with anything. They start to wonder where Kyle is, and Teddi says, she had a wardrobe malfunction.

Kyle gets her new costume adjusted. Her daughters are like, omg, your butt is hanging out.

Kim arrives dressed as a modernized version of a gangster from the 40s. In LisaR’s interview, she says she was kind of shocked to see Kim. She wishes she’s had a heads up. My Lord, this woman needs to be apprised of everything. It is actually a family party. How shocked can she be? What a lame brain. Maybe they took out brain cells to plump her lips.

Denise can’t breathe in her costume, but Dorit says she looks hot, so that’s all that counts. Camille, as Catwoman, comes with a friend, and the morally corrupt Faye Resnick right behind her. In her interview, Dorit says she’s a fashionista cat, Erika is an exotic cat, and Camille is a stray cat. She wonders where Camille bought a mask to cover both her faces. Okay. Hate her too now. Kyle tells her not to say anything to Camille. In Dorit’s interview, she says she has terrible anxiety, not knowing what Camille said about her, but she just got married and it’s Farrah’s birthday. Oh gee. Think you might be able to control yourself for a whole evening? Denise says she’s always clueless, and we flash back to Denise saying she’s lost during one of the many Puppygate convos.

The birthday girl comes out, and we see Mauricio as Hugh Hefner. In Kyle’s interview, she says, earlier, she was facing the worst thing, and it’s a reminder to celebrate family and friends when you get the chance. She takes the mic, and says Farrah is an inspiration, and she can’t believe she has a child who’s thirty. In her interview, she says it’s every parent’s dream to see their child grow to be a responsible adult; self-sufficient, smart, and successful. She’s proud of Farrah, and proud of the job she and Mauricio did. They kind of know what they’re doing. She tells everyone to take a ride on Farrah’s wheel. The DJ begins to play music, and everyone dances. In her interview, Kyle says she got a silver Rolex for her thirtieth birthday. In Erika’s interview, she says she went to Vegas. Dorit says she had a surprise luncheon in Connecticut, and didn’t have Ferris wheel.

Kyle talks to the women about her mammogram. She suggests a spin on the wheel, and Dorit wants to know why they have to be first. Kyle’s seatbelt is stuck, much like her first costume. In Teddi’s interview, she says she promised not to bring anything up to Camille, but they ended up side by side. Kyle says, FML when she gets stuck at the top.

There’s a photographer, and the women get a group shot taken. LisaR, in character as Erika, tells Kim that giving the bunny back to LisaR was something [bleep]. In her interview, Kim says she and LisaR don’t have a good history. We flash back to several episodes where LisaR acted incredibly nosy and rude to Kim, ending with her returning the bunny to LisaR at the reunion. Because it lacked good energy. She says she didn’t mean to be crude, rude, or disrespectful, but she feels attacked. She’s not hearing anything from LisaR but see you next Tuesday. LisaR likes being Erika.

Kim asks Dorit if that wasn’t wrong on LisaR’s part. It was upsetting. Kyle says, it was uncalled for. Kim says, it was inappropriate and rude. Kyle thinks LisaR is holding a grudge. In Kim’s interview, she says LisaR is always looking for attention. Denise joins them, and Kim whines that LisaR was rude to her. In Denise’s interview, she says LisaR is one of her best friends (I’m sorry), and was hurt by the bunny situation. She tells Kim that she really hurt LisaR’s feelings. Kim doesn’t believe it. In her interview, Kim says Denise should stand back. This is between her and LisaR. Let it go. Kyle says Kim isn’t wrong, and to give her that. It wasn’t okay. Denise is sorry that Kim is feeling hurt. Kim says she’s not, and Denise asks what’s the problem then. Kyle doesn’t think Denise gets it. Denise says, who cares about some bunny? They need to let it go. Well, here’s the thing, Denise. LisaR is the one who brought it up. Hello? Is this thing on?

LisaR says she’s Erika tonight, and admits to saying something about the bunny. Dorit observes that there are still strong feelings about it. In her interview, Kim says there are two years of unresolved energy. We flash back to Kim calling out LisaR on saying Kim was near death when she was nothing of the kind. Erika wishes it was different between them. In her interview, LisaR says, giving back the bunny was rude. Kim asks Erika/LisaR if they’re good, and says she wants to get a message to LisaR. Denise suggests LisaR be herself in the moment. Kim asks to have a private chat, and they sit.

Kim tells LisaR that she’s not looking for a fight, and LisaR looks beautiful. LisaR realizes she’s been over-the-top in character. Kim asks if she wants to say she’s sorry, but LisaR says Kim still hasn’t apologized for the bunny moment. Kim says, what about her? They used to have a nice relationship, and she’d be happy to go back to that, but LisaR has to be nice. LisaR agrees what she did wasn’t appropriate, but neither was what Kim did. Kim asks if LisaR can’t see her side. In Kim’s interview, she says there’s a lot of damage to repair. She doesn’t regret giving back the bunny. She was hurt by a lot of things LisaR did. LisaR says Kim caught her off-guard. She was scared to see Kim, and reacted that way. In her interview, LisaR says Kim giving the bunny back was the most hurt she’s been by this group. We flash back to Kim giving LisaR back the bunny, and tears streaming down LisaR’s face. She says it was like a gut punch. Sorry. I have no sympathy for her. Kim can be a nut, but LisaR dogged her the whole season. And if that’s the most hurt LisaR has been, she doesn’t know what hurt is. She says she’s sorry for what happened between them. Can they move on? Kim suggests forgiving each other. LisaR is glad their having this conversation under a dead angel. They hug, and Kim says, miracles happen. You never know.

Next time, Brandi (bleh) meets with Denise (I love Denise, but not so much her choice of friends), Camille says Teddi has gotten too big for her britches, Kyle plans a girls trip to France, and Camille’s house burns down.

🐍 LisaR autocorrects to lizard. Just sayin’…

💩 Stupidest. Sh*t. Ever.

One more reason to look at LisaR with disgust.

https://radaronline.com/exclusives/2019/05/lisa-vanderpump-slammed-transphobic-by-rhob-cast/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

I rarely tweet, but I had to reply to this nonsense. You can say she was thoughtless. You can say the joke was tasteless or inappropriate. You can say a lot of things, but LVP is not transphobic. You, however, are a real piece of work, who should not be so proud of her big mouth.

But LVP remains a lady, acknowledging a poor choice of words.

https://www.eonline.com/news/1043707/lisa-vanderpump-apologizes-for-poor-choice-of-words-after-transphobic-comment-about-erika-jayne

And Vanderpump still rules.

https://pagesix.com/2019/05/24/lisa-vanderpump-is-in-front-of-the-cameras-again/

🎡 Some Housewives Fun…

Just to balance it a little.

https://pagesix.com/video/denise-richards-hooker-reveal-and-more-hot-housewives-news/

💸 The Breakup…

Did Fifty/Fitty/Fofty come between Lala and her man?

https://betches.com/did-lala-kent-randall-emmett-break-up-because-of-foftygate/

Just because I didn’t even know Perez Hilton was still alive.

https://perezhilton.com/vanderpump-rules-lala-kent-randall-emmett-breakup-rumors/

👑 Because Why Not?

And because Candace gave me an earworm.

 

 

 

May 21, 2019 – Ryan Goes To the Ball, Justin Takes a Shot Or Two, Camille Gets Married, LVP Agreement, Behind the Ball & Still Feelin’ It

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Robert tells Finn, don’t just stand there. Pick it up; it’s your ring. Finn comes onstage. He picks up the ring. Everyone gets excited and or shocked. He gets on one knee, says this is not how he wanted to do this, and asks Anna to marry him. We hold our collective breath.

Cameron asks Josslyn if she remembers after Oscar’s motorcycle ride, how he asked Cameron to stay on the terrace, and there was something he wanted to talk about. Oscar had him record a message, and he wanted her to hear it tonight.

Kristina asks if she’s interrupting, and then says she doesn’t care. She wants to speak to Sam in private. She tells Sam, the closer she gets to Shiloh, the worse she’ll get hurt.

Doc wants to check in with Laura. Ava hopes Laura and Curtis have news. Doc leaves a message, saying he knows the cell reception is patchy up there, but he’d like to hear her voice. Call when she gets this. Ava asks if Doc is sure about the reception. What if they found Ryan?

Laura and Curtis lie unconscious, while things burn around them.

Anna says she doesn’t know, and Finn says, okay. His bad. He starts to leave, but she grabs him. She says she didn’t mean that. She means yes. She’d love to marry him. He asks her to say it louder for the tables in the back. She takes the mic, looks out, and says, yes, Hamilton Finn. She’ll marry him. He puts the ring on her finger, and everyone cheers. They kiss, and Robert gets teary. Anna tells Finn that she likes the ring.

Cameron tells Josslyn that Oscar made him delete the original, so she has the only copy. Like the CD Drew gave Kim that they listened to. He says he’s got to go; Lucy will have a stroke if he’s late. Josslyn asks him if he’s not staying to watch it with her. He says he recorded it, so he knows what Oscar said, but it’s Oscar’s last chance to talk to her, and he thinks Oscar wanted her to hear it alone. He leaves.

Jax tells Alexis that he got a text from Josslyn. Kristina left the house alone. Alexis thinks they should call her, but Neil says she’ll think they don’t trust her. Alexis says that’s what scares her.

Sam tells Kristina not to be ridiculous. Shiloh isn’t going to hurt her. Kristina wants to tell her the truth about DOD. It’s a cult, and Shiloh is more than a liar.

Ava tells Doc that they should stick to the plan to draw Ryan out of hiding. He agreed, and can’t back out now. He says in the absence of a better alternative, he’ll stick to the plan.

Curtis comes to. He shakes Laura, and tells her to stay with him. We hear sirens, and he says help is on the way.

Robert toasts to Anna and Finn. May they have the best of everything. Brad tells Lucas, it wouldn’t be the Nurses Ball without an impromptu proposal. Lucas says like when Brad proposed to him? They were hopeful then, but now Brad turns to everyone except him. Brad asks if they’re really having this conversation now? Lucas says, yep. They need to have it somewhere. He knows something is going on, and wants Brad to tell him what it is.

Chase congratulates Anna, and welcomes her to the family. He tells Finn that he never doubted him. Not to his face anyway. He says he’s kidding; he loves Finn. They hug.

Elizabeth tells Franco that she’s happy for Finn. Anna too, but he was torn up about it. Franco seems distracted, and says Lucy texted him about a backdrop that’s broken, and makes her promise she won’t leave. She says, okay, and he kisses her. She looks after him, puzzled.

Peter congratulates Anna, and says he’s happy for them both. They hug, and Anna says, it means a lot. Peter thinks they should give Anna and Finn a chance to celebrate on their own. Finn tells Anna that her speech was beautiful. She says she meant it. He knows how important the night is to her, but she says she’s good with leaving early. He seconds that. They kiss, and jet.

Josslyn puts the disk in her laptop. Oscar says, if you’re seeing this, it means I’m gone. He wish they’d had more time together, but he’s grateful for the time they got. It’s her turn now. She still has everything ahead of her, and he wants her to live her life to the fullest. Starting tonight. When she sings their song at the Nurses Ball, he wants her to know she’s singing for both of them.

Cameron comes back. Elizabeth asks where he went, and he says he had to take care of something for a friend.

Lucy hopes everyone is having as much fun as she is. She’s kind of excited about the next performance. She thinks they’ll have fun with this performer, who’s been known to steal the show. But the only thing she’s guilty of tonight, as far as Lucy knows, is giving her all for a worthy cause. She tells them to put their hands together for Obrecht. Obrecht comes out in a black dress with a blue sequin fur-trimmed cape with disco ball lights spinning, and begins to sing Guilty. Franco joins her halfway through in a duet.  Everyone loves it.

Felicia gushes over the proposal to Lucy. She’s sad for Robert, but Anna and Finn are perfect for each other. Lucy says she can’t say the same for Doc and Ava. There’s something fishy going on, and asks what Felicia knows about this.

EMTs examine Curtis and Laura. Curtis asks where the police are; he needs to talk to a cop. Laura says Ryan is probably at the border by now. They need to alert the authorities in Port Charles. He might be there already. I’d love to know how they get to Canada just as fast as they get to NYC.

Elizabeth wonders why Franco didn’t tell her. He says he wanted it to be a surprise. She says consider her surprised, and kisses him.

Cameron looks around outside.

Josslyn comes down in an amazing dress with tiers of silver and rose gold. For someone who didn’t want to go, she looks fabulous. She looks toward the laptop, says, I’m doing this for you, and leaves.

Shiloh asks if Kristina wasn’t more herself at DOD? Didn’t she trust herself more, and was more content? Sam is part of the family now; why doesn’t she come with them? He says, come home to DOD, and holds out his hand. Like magic, Sonny appears, and tells Shiloh, stay away from his daughter. He tells Kristina to go stand with her mother. Shiloh says Kristina can’t let her father control her forever. His door is always open. Sonny says his door is about to close permanently. He messed with the wrong family, and it’s going to cost him everything. Alexis takes Kristina away, and Sonny smiles at Shiloh. It’s one of those moments where I love Sonny so much, I can’t stand it.

Alexis asks what possessed Kristina to come there. Kristina says she and Josslyn were looking at pictures from the Nurses Ball, and she saw Sam with Shiloh. Sam has fallen under Shiloh’s spell like she did, and no one is doing anything about it.

Shiloh and Sam sit with Brad and Lucas. Lucas is surprised that Sam and Shiloh are together, and Shiloh says Sam has been taking classes. Lucas should stop by. He thinks there are some things Lucas would be interested in. He tells Brad the upper level courses are starting soon.

Willow’s phone rings. She says she’s been waiting for this call, and excuses herself. She slams right into Nina, spilling Nina’s drink. Nina tells her, watch where you’re going, and Willow says, one good thing about losing her job is, she doesn’t have to take Nina’s crap anymore. Shiloh watches her leave.

Cameron practices backstage. Elizabeth asks if he’s nervous. He says, no. It’s just that he was thinking about all the people not there tonight.

Josslyn walks in. She goes over to Carly and Jax. Jax asks what changed her mind. She says she got a message from Oscar. They look at her funny, and she says, an actual message. He recorded it before, and Cameron brought it. Oscar said he wanted her to perform their song at the Nurses Ball. She doesn’t know if she’s there yet, but one step at a time. Jax says it’s all any of them can do.

Lucy is excited and thrilled to introduce the next performer, and asks the audience to welcome Cameron. Accompanying himself on the guitar, he sings a song he wrote himself, I’ll Be Your Star. Or at least that’s the title I’m getting from the lyrics.

Sonny says he thought Alexis was taking Kristine home, but Alexis says she won’t go. Kristina wants to help Sam, but Neil says she’s still in recovery. If she tries to help Sam, they’ll both be vulnerable to Shiloh. Kristina says she’ll leave on one condition. Sonny has to say there and keep an eye on Shiloh. Sonny says she doesn’t even have to ask. Kristina leaves with Alexis, and Sonny glares at Shiloh.

On the phone in the hallway, Willow says, everything is not okay. He knew nothing about the adoption. He didn’t even know she was pregnant. She’ll tell them more when she sees them tomorrow. She hangs up, and Nina is there behind her. Nina says, she had a child?

Josslyn comes backstage, and she and Cameron hug. She says he was amazing. She asks if he wrote it himself, and he says he did. (This is after I knock myself out trying to find the song title online using the lyrics.) He says he had a lot on his mind, and writing music helps. She thanks him for bringing Oscar’s message, and being someone Oscar could trust. He’s a great friend.

Laura tells the EMT that she’s mayor of Port Charles. She asks him to arrange a helicopter to get them back immediately. Call whoever he needs to check her credentials, but do it fast. Curtis says he needs access to a phone. He and Laura hug.

Lucy pokes Doc, and says, apparently, there’s a delivery person there from a florist with two dozen long stemmed roses. He has to personally sign for said roses. Doc says Ava is performing, and he wanted to surprise her with a tribute. Lucy says the only tribute Ava deserves is poison ivy, while I wonder who uses the word tribute like that?

Chase’s phone rings. It’s Curtis, who tells Chase to listen to him. Ryan Chamberlain is alive, and on his way back to Port Charles.

Back at home, Finn tells Anna, it’s only sparkling cider, but she says she’s just happy to be celebrating with her husband-to-be. He likes the sound of that. He toasts to their life together, and they clink glasses. She ask why it had to be this ring in particular; why was it so important? He says he looked at a lot of rings, but didn’t feel as strongly about them. The jeweler said it was a rare Monacan blue sapphire, and he knew. She says, Monaco, and he says where she first blackmailed him into working with her. She says he loved it, and he says, not at first. She insists he did. He says that trip changed his life, so he bought the ring, and waited for the exact perfect moment – which wasn’t in front of a ballroom full of people, but that’s the way it happened. She was kind enough to say yes, and here they are. They kiss, and get busy.

Sonny comes back in, and hugs Josslyn. He’s glad she made it, and she says she had a lot of help. Carly tells Sonny that Jax is sitting with them. Sonny tells him, welcome, and says it’s always nice to see Cameron. Cameron says, it’s nice to be seen. Sonny says, it’s good to have a full table. Jax wonders if Alexis is okay, and Sonny says a problem came up.

Lucas tells Brad that he doesn’t recall Brad saying that he was taking more classes. Brad leaves to get refills, and Shiloh says there’s something he needs to take care of. Lucas asks if Sam is in DOD, and she asks if he has concerns about it. He says it seems a little intense to him.

Nina says Willow is a mother? and Willow accuses her of eavesdropping. She asks what is it with Nina? She’s been making Willow’s life miserable since they met. No wonder Charlotte is the way she is. Nina says no wonder Willow can’t handle her classroom. She can’t take care of own child. Yes, she went there. She tells Willow, have a nice life. Willow turns to follow her, and Shiloh is standing there.

Lucy says she’s so proud of all of them. Donations are rolling in. She thanks them, and says Cameron was adorable and amazing, but now they’re getting a change of pace.

Curtis tells Laura that Chase is contacting the authorities and the PCPD. Laura say she has to contact Doc, but gets voicemail. She leaves a message, Ryan is alive and on his way back. Please be careful.

Lucy says the next performer told them last year that they don’t own her. Who would want to? Not Lucy. We see Doc unconscious backstage, and Ryan taking a rose from Ava’s bouquet.

Ava takes the stage, and sings You’re Just Too Good to Be True. It’s an odd, but cool variation, like American Music Club’s cover of The Carpenters’ Goodbye to Love. Background dancers put her on the piano, along with a martini that she sips when the song is done, amidst fog from a machine.  I’m guessing Ryan is going to pop out of the fog like Alice Cooper.

Tomorrow, Josslyn tells Lucy that she can’t sing, Shiloh tells Willow not to lie to him, and Scotty sees Ryan.

The Haves and The Have Nots

When we last left, Justin was holding a gun to Jeffrey’s head, and his own.

At David’s place, Madison says David is bleeding; what happened? David says, just patch him up. Madison says he forgot David and his son are cut from the same superhero cloth. David says, that punk pulled a gun on him. Madison asks if he’s okay, and David says he nailed Justin’s ass to the floor. Madison asks where Jeffrey is, and David says, he’s still there. Madison tells David, that’s not good. If he pulled a gun on David, imagine what he’ll do to Jeffrey. David says he’ll take care of Justin. Madison says, do it soon. He’s seen this kind of thing escalate. He didn’t want Jeffrey to go there, and David says that makes two of them. Madison says, that boy is unstable, and David says, that punk needs be dealt with, and he’ll do it quickly. Madison has to get back to work, and tells David, if it keeps bleeding, he’ll probably have to come in.

Justin tells Jeffrey, this is the way has to be. Jeffrey says he told Justin not to do this again. Justin says, one has a bullet; the other doesn’t. it’s either him or Jeffrey. Let fate decide. If Jeffrey doesn’t want him, one of them has to go. Justin counts to three, and shoots. It looks like Jeffrey was shot, but they both fell, so I’m not sure.

Candace dances around the hotel room, and sips champagne, while Charles lies in bed an smiles. He says, it’s nice to see her smiling. She seems so happy, and it’s okay to let him know. He says she’s still afraid of letting go; being okay, and putting herself in his hands. She says he’s a man. Does he know how hard it is for her to trust anyone, especially a man? He says she’ll have to let it go. She says, especially a powerful man. He says she’s met his kids. He’s a good guy. She says she saw how mad he can get, and it’s scary. He tells her, just admit she’s happy. She says she’s… having a good time. He bets it feels good not looking over her shoulder. She says she’s been doing it since she was seventeen. He can’t expect her to undo it overnight. Be patient. He says she can start by saying she’s happy. She says she did lose her son. He says he doesn’t know what that’s like, and God forbid he ever does. He’s just saying it’s nice to see her smiling and looking up. She thanks him. He wants her to make love to him. It’s what he’s feeling right now. They kiss.

Kathryn sits at the Artisian bar. Kathryn sees Roderick flirting with another woman, and says, this is the game you want to play. She asks Rocky for another. Neat. Rocky tells RK that he left a sink full of dirty dishes when he took off. RK says, his bad, and Rocky says he’s full of it. RK apologizes, and says he needs some cash. He’ll pay Rocky back. Rocky says he doesn’t have any, but RK insists he does. Rocky asks what RK has gotten himself into. RK says Veronica wants him to seduce her son. He just needs to get her jewelry out of the pawn shop. Rocky says he told RK to leave that woman alone. RK asks if he’s going to help or not, and Rocky says, no. Go wash dishes.

Kathryn calls Hanna, who asks if she knows what time it is. Is everything okay? Kathryn says it is, and that she loves Hanna. Hanna asks if she’s all right, and where is she? Kathryn says she’s at the bar at her hotel. Hanna asks if she’s drinking, and Kathryn says, uh-huh. She had to get out, and away from Jim. She’s so disgusted over the Derrick thing. Hanna says, her too. Kathryn says Hanna has no idea how bad she feels, and Hanna asks how Kathryn thinks she feels. Kathryn is still worried, but Hanna says she’s okay. Kathryn has been calling him, but he hasn’t returned her calls. Hanna doesn’t care, but Kathryn does. She wants to tell him how she feels. Hanna doesn’t want to talk about him. She wants to forget about him and that night. She tells Kathryn she’s going to the bank first thing in the morning and getting the money back to give to Jim. Kathryn says, he’s not going to bother Benny anymore. Hanna says, but it’s Kathryn’s money, and she has another favor to ask. She feels like she’s always asking for help, and Kathryn has done so much for her already. Kathryn says, anything, and Hanna says she’ll take the job at the hotel, but wants Kathryn to keep the first checks until Hanna can pay her back. Kathryn asks, what’s going on? and Hanna says, Benny is in trouble again. She wants to keep the interest until she can pay Kathryn back. Kathryn says, do that. Hanna says she sounds drunk, and asks if she should ask again when Kathryn is sober. Kathryn says, the answer will be the same. Hanna asks if Kathryn wants a ride home, but Kathryn says if she needs a ride, she’ll call Frederick to pick her up. They’ll talk in the morning.

Kathryn asks Rocky for another, and asks, who is that girl? Rocky says, she works accounting. Kathryn says Roderick is trying to make her jealous, but Rocky doesn’t think it’s like that. She says he can come to the room, but he says, sorry. She says, fine; what about that kid? indicating RK. Rocky says, he is a kid. She tells him give her some more, but he says he’s closing the bar. She says she owns the place. He suggests he get her a ride, and she asks if he’s kicking her out of her own bar. He thinks she should head home, and she says she needs to wait for her driver. Rocky asks RK to give her a ride home, explaining she owns the bar. Kathryn says, let’s do this. Roderick says hello as she passes, but she looks straight ahead, one hand holding her drink, and the other on RK’s arm. Rocky tells Roderick that Kathryn is pissed at him. Roderick knows, and Rocky hopes he knows what he’s doing, because she’s making his life a hell. Roderick asks what she said, and Rocky says, nothing, but she’s watching him like a hawk. Roderick says, then it’s working. Rocky says, be careful. Roderick asks where RK is going, and Rocky says he’s giving Kathryn a ride home. Roderick says, this will be interesting. Good. She’ll have to work for it. Rocky tells him again, be careful, but Roderick says he’s got this. I feel badly for Rocky. He’s gotten the short end of the stick since Candace beat the crap out of him.

The Attorney General is on the phone with Scott, who just checked in at the Artisian. Ground zero. The AG (whose name I think could possibly be Warren, but I’m still not sure) tells him they’re going to shake these folks up. He asks if a reporter is still at the hotel, and tells Scott to tell her that he has a story about the President Elect’s girlfriend that will knock her socks off. Scott thinks they should get more information first, but the AG says there will be a treasure trove. He’s there; get on it. Call her now. Scott says, it’s late, but the AG says the reporter will be happy. That bitch messed with the wrong one.

Candance talks in her sleep, obviously distressed. Charles puts the light on, and she sits up, startled. He says, it’s okay. She says, her son. She has to get out of there; she needs fresh air. He tells her, relax. Breathe. Tell him what it is. She says, being there doesn’t feel right with him gone. Charles holds her, and says, it’s okay. He can’t imagine how hard it is, but she’s allowed to have good in her life. She says she’s going to be okay, and he promises she will be.

RK pulls in Kathryn’s driveway. She’s sleeping, and he rouses her. He says it’s a nice car, and helps her out. She says she had too much. He says, maybe. He brings her to the door. He says, nice house, and she thanks him. She says, him and Veronica, huh? He acts ignorant, and she says she heard him talking. He’s sleeping with her, huh? He says, no, and she says, stop lying. What she doesn’t understand is, why does Veronica want him to flirt with Jeffrey? It doesn’t make sense. Her son is gay, and she hates it. She would do anything to make him not be gay. Why would she want him to flirt with Jeffrey? Is he gay? He says, no, and she says, something strange is going on. Veronica is always up to something. RK suggests they get her inside.

RK goes inside with Kathryn, and says, damn. This is fly sh*t. She says there are no flies in there, but he says he’s talking about the house. She asks if that’s a good thing, and he says it is. He’s wondering how he’s getting home, and she says he can call a cab. He says, or take the car, and she says, sure. She’ll get it tomorrow. She wants him to help her upstairs, and says then she’ll call him a cab. He says she just told him that he can take the car, but she says, that depends on what happens upstairs. He says, the cougar thing, but she says she’s more of a lion. Wyatt pops out, and asks, what now? She tells him, go to bed, and he asks if she’s drunk. She says not enough for his bullsh*t. Jim comes out asking if a man can’t watch TV in his own house. He asks who RK is, and Wyatt says, her lover. Kathryn says, he works at the hotel. Wyatt says, she was there with her Latin lover. Now, she’s with… Where is RK from? RK says, Nicaragua. Jim tells Wyatt, go to bed. Kathryn tells RK, goodnight, and thanks him. He asks Jim how he’s getting home. Jim says he’ll give RK money for a cab, and hands him a hundred dollar bill, saying, it’s real. Get the hell out, but first, he’d like the keys back. RK says Kathryn was going to let him drive, and Jim laughs, saying, a $250K car. RK says he drove here in it, but Jim says he’s not driving back in it. He offered RK money, and he took it. He has the keys in his pocket, and Jim would like the keys and money back. He wants them back or he’s going to put his foot up RK’s Nicaraguan ass. RK accuses him of being racist, and leaves. As he goes upstairs, Jim says Nicaraguan isn’t racist. What the hell? The world’s gone crazy.

RK stands outside, and says, no money, no ride, no cab, nothing. It’s crazytown. Wyatt comes climbs down from his window, nearly giving RK a heart attack. RK says, what the hell? Sneaking up on him. He’s a black belt in karate. What is he doing, sneaking out a window. Wyatt asks if RK wants to make some money. Can he score? RK says, he’s Wyatt. Wyatt asks how he knows, and RK says Wyatt’s mom told him about Wyatt in the car. She told him Wyatt’s got it bad. Wyatt says he’s got crazy money, and RK says, she left that out. What does he want? Wyatt asks what RK can get. RK wants the money first, but Wyatt says, come back with some coke, throw a rock at his window, and he’ll give RK the money. RK asks if he looks like an errand boy. What’s in it for him? Wyatt says he’ll pay him double, and RK says, deal. They shake. RK asks how Wyatt expects him to get there and back. He came in Wyatt’s mom’s car. Wyatt says he he can take her car, but RK needs the keys. Jim took them. Wyatt says, hang tight. He’ll get the spare. He goes inside, and RK says, yes, Lord. You’ve been listening to my prayers. He tells the car, me and you are going on a ride.

Kathryn asks Jim why he’s on the bed. Jim says he’s warning her about the kid, and she asks if he’s afraid he’s getting replaced. He tells her to listen to him, but she laughs, and says, no. This what women feel like when a man with money leaves them for a little twerp. Jim says RK is making a fool of her, and she says like all those girls did with him. He’s just upset that if she leaves, he’ll be broke and out in the cold. He says she’s not leaving him; she wouldn’t dare. She tells him, don’t be so sure. He says he’s not kidding. Leave the boy at the hotel alone. She says like he left his whores? She’s just getting started. She’s nowhere near his numbers. She’s going to let Hanna keep all the money; he won’t have a dime. Jim says, Hanna’s not keeping it, but Kathryn says she’s going to let her. He tells her that he means what he says, and she says, whatever. Get out of her house.

Outside, RK says, Prince of Bel Air type sh*t. Wyatt comes back out, and gives RK the keys, telling him, be back in an hour. RK says just worry about having his money. Wyatt tells him to keep the lights off until he gets to the end of the driveway. Wyatt goes back in, and RK jets to the car. Jim sees Wyatt, and asks what he’s doing down there. Wyatt says, getting away from them. Jim tells him, if he goes outside that door, someone will kill him. Wyatt asks if it looks like he’s leaving, and asks what Jim is doing. Jim says, going out, and Wyatt suggests he go to bed. Jim laughs, opens the door, and says, where is Kathryn’s car? Wyatt says he doesn’t know, and Jim says, that little SOB. He tells Wyatt to go to bed. Wyatt says, you go to bed, but Jim says, you first. Wyatt heads upstairs, and Jim tells him, wait up.

Veronica walks into David’s house. She says he hasn’t returned her calls. He says he needed a moment to think. She says because of what she said about his whore? He asks why she’s doing this, and she says he knows. He says she wants to punish him because he hurt her. She says, yes. Is he hurt? He says, very. Does it make her feel better? She says, it’s a start. He hit her, and slept with those women. He tells her she already said that, and she asks if he has attitude about that now. He says he has to pay a penance. He supposes it’s justice. She asks if he’s playing her, and he says, no. She’s been thinking about how they can beat the grand jury. He says, how? and she says he’s eager to hear what she has to say now. She wants him to make love to her the way he used to. He says he’d love to do that, but… She says, what? He says his back is burned really bad. She sorry he’s in a lot of pain right now, but she has to go. It still smells like dime store perfume. She tells him that Erica was with a lot of men. It’s probably good they’re not having sex, because he probably needs to get himself checked out. She wants to see that bloodwork. He says, good idea. He’d like to see hers as well, since she was with Benny and that other boy. She says, now the ice queen is the condom queen. He asks why she let him sleep with Erica if she knew Erica was a whore? She says she tried to tell him. Whatever he caught, he deserves it. He asks if she’s telling him that he has a disease, and she says she’s telling him that she doesn’t know, but it’s possible. She says the longer she stays, the more angry she gets. He says he knows; he bought this house for her, but another woman was living in it. She says he’s finally getting it. Keep being that honest, and she might take him back. She kisses him, and tells him to take back what he said about killing her. He says he takes it back; he was so angry. She says, okay, and tells him, have a good night. He says, you too, sweetheart, but when she’s gone, he adds, enjoy your last few days on this earth.

Jim pulls up in front of Hanna’s house, and calls Benny. He tells Benny, come outside. Benny asks what he wants. He ain’t goin’ nowhere. Jim says he doesn’t think Benny want him coming in there with his mother home. Benny tells him, come on in. Make it easy. He’ll tell the police Jim broke in before he killed his monkey ass. Jim threatens to break the door down, and Benny says, on second thought, he’s coming down. Benny comes outside, and asks wtf Jim wants. Jim says he wants his money, and Benny says he’s out of luck there. Jim says, no; Benny is. Benny says, nice car. Get his ass in it, and get out of here. Jim doesn’t scare him. Jim says the stab wound didn’t scare Benny? and Benny asks if he wants to go again. Jim says he’s being as patient as he can be with him and his mom. Benny suggests Jim not talk about his mother, and Jim says, then get his sorry ass to the bank. Benny says he ain’t doin’ sh*t. Jim says if Benny doesn’t give the money back, he’s done. Benny laughs, and Jim asks if Benny thinks it’s funny. Benny guesses they’re done together. Come at him again… Jim says he thought this was fair. It’s the last thing he’s saying to Benny. Benny says, shut up then. Jim tells him, have a good night. It’s likely to be his last. He drives away, and Benny goes inside.

At the hospital, Madison is getting ready to leave, and tells the other reception nurse to have a good weekend. She asks if he doesn’t have some days off, but he says he still has to be at the Harrington’s. She says he should be glad he’s leaving. There are two gunshot wounds in the head coming in. He says, good luck to them, and starts to leave, but stops. He asks where she heard that, and she says the police scanner. They’re on their way. He asks where they’re coming from. She tells him the address, and he looks at Justin’s address on his phone. He says, oh my God, and calls Jeffrey. He gets voicemail, and leaves a message for Jeffrey to call back as soon as he gets it. He asks if she can get the names, and she says he can get them from the EMTs. They’ll be there in a minute.

Next time, Scott asks Roderick about Candace, Jim tells Wyatt the Malones will kill him, and David cries, which doesn’t seem too good for Jeffrey.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

LVP goes to see polygrapher John, bringing along John Blizzard. (I almost called him John Snowball, somehow mashing him up with Game of Thrones) Puffy! We flash back to everyone not believing LVP didn’t leak the Dorit story. In her interview, LVP knows 100% that she’s not guilty. She wouldn’t do this otherwise. She’s not as stupid as she looks. She explains Puppygate to the polygrapher, who couldn’t care less, but says if she’s lying, he’ll know it. He asks the usual bland questions, like, do you live in Texas? Then he asks if Dorit’s face has changed as much as her accent. John Snowstorm Blizzard says he had to throw that in. The polygrapher asks about giving the story to Radar Online, and several other related questions. When he’s finished, LVP asks if they can do it again; she was nervous. Polygrapher John says the scoring program agrees with him that there’s zero chance she’s lying on the questions of importance. In her interview, she isn’t sure what she’s going to do with this. She might keep it in her back pocket, and shove it up their asses if she sees them, just to prove they’re barking up the wrong tree. It would be awesome if we found out Teddi was really the one who leaked it.

In her interview, Kyle says they’re all going to Hawaii for Camille’s wedding. It’s a long way to go, but she’s their friend. They can also afford it. I know I’d have to decline that invite unless Camille was buying. Kyle thinks it’s funny, going back to the dinner party from hell. We flash back to that. Now look – she’s a bridesmaid. Alexia asks if that’s Kyle’s airplane outfit, and Kyle tells her, don’t judge. The bridesmaids dress arrived at the eleventh hour, but needed alterations. Kyle says it’s not her fault she has big boobs that are natural.

Everyone packs. Teddi tells Edwin to pack, and she doesn’t mean at the last minute tomorrow, which will make her a crazy person. I’m totally guilty of being a last minute packer.

The women meet on the plane. In LisaR’s interview, she thinks a destination wedding is nice. There’s no one who doesn’t want to go to Hawaii. People are happy there. Again, as long as she’s paying. BTW, needless to say, they’re in first class.

As they get into the airport limo, Mauricio asks if Teddi is a bridesmaid. She says she was practically not invited. In her interview, she says she doesn’t think a wedding weekend is the time to dig up past issues (like this isn’t going to happen), so she’s being a good person and showing up. During the ride, Kyle says Camille’s sex talk when they went camping was next level. LisaR says they should make hand gestures when she comes down the aisle. In her interview, LisaR says it’s not hard on Harry when she’s gone. She’s not in a co-dependent relationship with her husband. They’re okay with being away from each other. This translates into Harry didn’t want to be in this episode.

The hotel is gorgeous, and the view is amazing. Teddi says, it feels peaceful. LisaR is coughing, and orders hot water, lemon, and honey from room service. She’s hoping to nip it in the bud. In Kyle’s interview, she says she has no idea what’s happening on the trip. She’s killing it as a bridesmaid.

Camille greets them at the pool and thanks them for coming. David is off with his friends, but she wanted them to get a feel of the island. In her interview, Camille says Hawaii is near and dear to her heart. She brought the kids there when they were young, and she has a lot of memories from that. She also went there to heal from her divorce. We flash back to how devastated she was. She says she’s getting married to David, and there are great things ahead. She tells the group that they have a busy day, but she wants to tell them what happened. LVP wanted to talk to her, and explained why she’s not coming, and a little about her falling out with Kyle. She didn’t want to make the day about her. Kyle says LVP never responded to her texts or emails. In her interview, Kyle thinks using her as an excuse is a cheap shot. Camille says, Kyle is in a tough position. Dorit asks how Camille feels about it. Camille says she wanted LVP to be there. A year from now, they’ll be saying how ridiculous this all is. LisaR says LVP has no issue with Camille, and Camille agrees. LisaR says weddings are a way of bringing people together. No matter what, you show up. In LisaR’s interview, she says LVP made it clear that she wants nothing to do with them. She doesn’t get it. She respects LVP, but she’s done with it. The end.

Everyone gets in the water. Kyle sits on the paddleboard, and uses it like a canoe. She finally stands, but hits a rock, so she’s back down again. In her interview, she says she doesn’t want to work this hard. She says she’s going back to the beach. She’s done.

Meanwhile in Malibu, Denise calls Aaron. In her interview, she says she’s getting ready to shoot a movie, but she’d rather be in Hawaii than Connecticut in winter. Patrick Muldoon comes by. He asks what she thinks of the script, and she says, it’s cute. In Denise’s interview, she says she’s known him since she was nineteen. They dated off and on, and now they’re getting ready to do a Christmas movie together. She doesn’t think of it as working with ex-boyfriend, but working with a friend. They go over the script. Patrick tells her that she’s always had a thing for bad boys. In her interview, Denise says that one Thanksgiving, Charlie had a hooker sitting in a car in her driveway. She said she’d set an effing plate. Even a hooker deserves Thanksgiving dinner. She asks if Patrick is considered a bad boy, and they laugh.

The women get ready for a big dinner at Camille’s house. Kyle points out that Dorit brought seven pairs of sunglasses. Dorit says, a girl needs options. I don’t find that many pairs unreasonable, and think it’s funny coming from Kyle. Everyone gets in the limo, and they head to Camille’s place mansion, which is unbelievably huge. In Camille’s interview, she says there was a little awkwardness with Teddi. She’s not happy with their relationship, but she’s glad Teddi made the effort to come. Camille tells LisaR that when she disappears, this is where she goes. It’s her house. It’s her own, and she’s proud of it. David and Camille’s daughter Mason join them. Kyle asks where Camille’s mom is, and Camille says, in the hospital. In her interview, Kyle says Camille’s mom has been sick for the last ten years. We see a clip of Camille talking to her mom about a new doctor. In Camille’s interview, she says her mom has been spending time on the east coast, but didn’t want her to postpone the wedding. She’s been praying that her mom feels better, and can be there. Kyle feels like she will be there. In Kyle’s interview, she feels badly about Camille’s mom not being there. With everything Camille’s been through; her own cancer, now her mother might not be able to come. Other than the groom, she’s the most important person for Camille to have there. They sit down for dinner. BTW, there are a lot of people there, and quite a few tables.

LisaR tells Camille that Erika sends her love, and wishes she could be there. A fantastic dinner is served. In her interview, Kyle says the pasta in a cheese wheel has followed her. The dress finally zips, and she’s eating pasta. She swears she’s being sabotaged. In Teddi’s interview, she says she normally is not a carb person in the evening, but she’s giving herself an out. Teddi asks what’s LisaR’s favorite and least favorite thing about Harry. LisaR says Harry is a good person, but he chews blue gum. In Kyle’s interview, she says, twenty years, and that’s all LisaR can say? Someone is not forthcoming. Edwin says he loves that Teddi is organized, but hates that she’s always on his ass. It’s kind of the same thing. Kyle says he’ll be dead by sunrise. She says she loves that Mauricio is always upbeat (he is!), but her least favorite thing is his immaturity level sometimes. Mauricio says his least favorite thing is that Kyle is stubborn, but his favorite thing is her sense of humor. She makes him laugh, and she’s an incredible mother. She’s amazing. He kisses her, and Teddi says Edwin is dead.

In Camille’s interview, she says her ex had a reputation of being a bad boy, but with David, it’s different. Totally different. LisaR asks if it’s okay if she leaves early, and Camille says she needs to go to bed early too. In her interview, Camille says she’s excited to have her friends there to celebrate her taking the next step. In the limo back, Teddi tells Edwin, what’s organized is her legs to be closed for the rest of the trip. Edwin says he would never want a Playboy chick, and LisaR says she is that chick/

Dorit visits LisaR, who can barely talk. Thank God for small favors. She says she feels okay; she just can’t talk. Dorit suggests some good tea and cough drops, but LisaR thinks spending time resting her voice is a good idea.

Teddi and Edwin sit in a pseudo tide pool. Edwin says normally, the kids would be there. Teddi asks if he thinks the kids feel the difference with her working so much. We see clips of her working while being with the kids, and the kids whining. She loves the idea of more time, but doesn’t know if she wants to sell 50% of her business. Her gut is saying she’s happy. In her interview, she says the business is huge, and she’s been approached to sell a portion of the company. We see a clip of a meeting with a business consultant. She says, it’s great financially, and great for more time, but it will no longer be her baby. It will be a group decision. She wants the kids to know she’s always there. Edwin says the most important thing is that she’s happy. If she’s happy, she’ll make the kids happy.  She doesn’t need to worry. He kisses her, and she says she’s a worrier. He says if she doesn’t do it she might blame it on the kids one day.

In Middletown, Connecticut, Denise works on her film. In her interview, she says it makes her feel good that Aaron isn’t jealous. He respects her relationship with Patrick. Charlie didn’t. While they were married, she wasn’t allowed to talk to him. They talk to Barbara Eden, who’s also in the movie. She tells them, a genie’s not a woman, she’s an entity, which they somehow find deep. In her interview, Denise thinks, it would be fun to wear a cool outfit and live in a bottle.

In Hawaii, Kyle says she and Mauricio always go to Mexico. He says, as they get older, they have to think about where they want to spend the majority of their time. Kyle says she’s more of a mountain person than a beach person. They also have to think about when their kids have kids. Mauricio wonders where his name is going to go, since they only have daughters. He asks if they should just have another kid. She asks where was he when she asked before? In her interview, she say she hates to burst his bubble, but does he know how old she is? He says there’s another thing need talk about; finishing their wills. It’s not fair to the kids. In Kyle’s interview, she says when the girls were little, it was more about who would take them, and now that they’re older, it’s easier, but it’s still scary as hell. Mauricio talks about some test where they scored high in terms of health, and she swears by green juice.

Camille has pre-wedding preparations to do, and Kyle doesn’t know the responsibilities of a bridesmaid. They sit for dinner, and Dorit asks for tea for LisaR. Kyle says she’s never heard LisaR so quiet, and Dorit says she’ll speak for her. Mauricio has a problem focusing, and winks at Kyle. In her interview, Kyle says, something seems a little off. She thinks he’s been enjoying the island life, and partaking in some of their offerings. Mauricio says he’s happy for them. They’re nice, two people who have the opportunity for a second turn. Hopefully, the ultimate goal is to be with someone to the end, and he genuinely feels they’re good for each other. He laughs, and they all laugh. He makes a toast to Camille and David.

Kyle says she found out something. A close friend of Alexa’s had a house that was burglarized while it was under construction. The workers were taking a lie detector test, and guess who else was there taking a test? Everyone is like, I dunno, and Teddi asks, who? Kyle says, LVP, and everybody is all shocked. Kyle says, it’s not like she was accused of murder, and Dorit wonders why she acts like that. Teddi thinks it’s stupid. In Dorit’s interview, she says LVP did ask if she had to take a lie detector test, but she didn’t expect it. LisaR asks, who administers the questions? Do you say, ask me these questions?  Well, essentially, yeah. Or the police give them a list of questions. It’s not done by ESP. Teddi – the authority on all things – says, they’re not even accurate, proving she knows nothing, Jon Snow, because they’re pretty close. Kyle says, the innocent fail them, and the guilty pass them. In her interview, Teddi says Ted Bundy passed one. Yes, there’s a margin. That’s why they’re not admissible in court. Kyle thinks LVP is focusing on that, instead of the actual problem. Dorit asks why they think she does it, and LisaR says, she wants to be perceived as perfect and a saint. In her interview, Kyle says if LVP showed her the paper, and said she’d passed with flying colors, does she think it would change everyone’s opinion? I’m baffled as to why it wouldn’t. At least about the article thing. Dorit says, the wedding is tomorrow, and Mauricio asks who’s getting married. Edwin says, that wasn’t as profound.

In her interview, Kyle asks us not to judge her bridesmaid skills. She hasn’t been one for twenty-plus years. She’ll hold Camille’s train, life her veil, and powder her nose; whatever she wants. Camille’s mother, Maureen, arrives. Camille is getting her makeup done, and says she’s thrilled. In her interview, she says her mom is Superwoman. She’s out of the hospital, and on a plane, and now she’s in Hawaii. Her mom is an inspiration to her, and she hopes she’d have her mom’s strength in the same situation. She’s not sure if she would. She tells Maureen that she loves her so much. Maureen is happy she’s there for Camille’s big day. The ladies have trickled in. They mingle, and talk to Maureen. Bridesmaids Kyle and Mason, get flower crowns pinned on.

Teddi powders her arms. Wtf? Camille and Kyle cram into a 1959 cherry sportscar. In her interview, Camille says it was easier to keep the name Grammer. Maybe she’s lazy, but it’s a lot of paperwork. I understand. I did the same thing, keeping my maiden name. They speed along to the ceremony. LisaR waits in the limo for the others while birds, instead of crickets, chirp. The rest of the group finally gets in. As they pull into the venue, Mauricio says they made it in the nick of time.

The ceremony is outside. Conch shells are blown. The bridesmaids come in, with Camille and David following, flanked by native dudes. Camille looks stunning. We’ve already seen her dress, with a crocheted overlay, but I didn’t notice the train was so massive. In her interview, LisaR says, it’s gorgeous, because it’s Hawaii, and there’s a rainbow, and the wind is blowing. It’s absolutely magical.

In Kyle’s interview, she says, it’s touching to see Camille finally have this day she’s waited for. She’s been through so much. The vows are said under an arbor of palm leaves. Kyle says, it’s been a long road for Camille. A new chapter. All of them couldn’t be happier.

Next time, Camille says LVP should have come, LisaR says LVP has to own her sh*t, Kyle has some scary medical tests, Halloween happens, and LisaR dresses up as Erika.

🎵 Side note: Camille was on Watch What Happens Live tonight, and said she did get why LVP wouldn’t want the attention to be on her at Camille’s wedding. The other guest, Tracy Pollen, said she agreed with LVP’s decision.

🏥 On the Ball…

A behind-the-scenes look at the Nurses Ball. And Lulu knitting in that dress.

https://www.abc.soapsindepth.com/posts/general-hospital-nurses-ball-backstage-170874

👓 It’s So Last Year…

But I feel it still.

 

May 20, 2019 – Finn Finds the Ring, VanderReunion Concludes, GH Fashion, LVP Rules, the Throne Game Lingers & Replacement Ad

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

The Ball begins. The nurses sing You Got the Best of My Love, with Epiphany, Deanna, and Amy doing solos. Nurses we’ve never seen before do some wicked dancing. I love the Ball, and seeing everyone do something they don’t normally. I’m really looking forward to Chase. Confetti falls at the end of the number to much applause.

Lucy welcomes everyone, and thanks them. She hopes they brought their wallets. Every dime goes to fight HIV and AIDS. She tells them fasten their seatbelts. They’re in for a wild ride.

Ava asks Scotty why he thought Lucy would be there. He asks why does she think? Doc says, it’s becoming obvious. Scotty says he saw Doc sneaking off with Lucy. Ava says, that’s odd, since she was with him when a staff member said someone fainted on the red carpet. She takes it that was Lucy. Doc says Lucy was wearing a lacy negligee, and Scotty says it’s a good outfit to faint in. Ava says he burst in like he expected to say, ah-ha! Caught you. Scotty says why wouldn’t he? Doc is all wrong for Ava.

Mike and Yvonne thank Sonny for including them. Mike thinks it’s the best way to celebrate their engagement, show off his fiancé. Carly looks at the ring.

Chase and Willow join Finn, who’s looking glum at the bar. Chase asks if he’s okay, and he says he’s fine. Chase asks Willow for some privacy, and tells Finn to propose without the ring. While Anna is saying yes, he’ll arrest Robert for stealing it in the first place.

Neil sees Alexis, and sits with her. She says she had no idea they’d be sitting at the same table. He’s probably the only person who can keep her from tearing Shiloh’s head off. Neil is surprised Shiloh is there, and Alexis points him out. Sam is taking pictures, and Shiloh says he didn’t take her for being a selfie girl. She says she’s not, but just got caught up in the moment.

Spinelli tells Jason the surveillance equipment is state of the art. They have all that they need to hear everything the instant it’s happening. Jason gets a text from Sam, saying she’s at the Ball with Shiloh. Spinelli says, excellent. The plan is working. In the meantime, they have to make sure no other members are at the DOD house.

Kristina suggests watching a movie, but Josslyn doesn’t care. She says Kristina doesn’t have to babysit her. Kristina says Josslyn is doing her favor. She doesn’t want to feel like a coward for skipping the Ball, but she doesn’t feel like a fancy party, so she appreciates keeping Josslyn company. Josslyn says, bring on the popcorn.

Jax tells Carly, Josslyn is fine; he just texted her. Cameron arrives, and asks if Josslyn is coming. Jax says she thought about it, but decided not to. Carly thinks, it’s a little soon after Oscar. She’ll tell Josslyn that he asked about her.

Felicia tells Anna that she didn’t say who her date was. Finn or Robert? Anna says she came with Finn. She loves Finn. She doesn’t know what Robert is doing, but it has to stop.

Mac sees Robert, and says he wasn’t expecting Robert to show up with Finn and Anna. He doesn’t think they did either. Robert insists it was a coincidence.

Mike introduces Yvonne to Bobbie, who tells them, best wishes and congratulations. She admires Yvonne’s ring.

Finn tells Chase, if everything works out, and Anna says yes, all is forgiven. Chase asks, what if she doesn’t? and Finn says he might not have to arrest Robert anyway. Finn sees Yvonne showing off the ring.

Alexis introduces Neil to Jax. Jax asks how he knows Alexis, and Alexis says, he doesn’t. Not in the way Jax thinks. It’s just a coincidence they’re sitting together. He’s a therapist. Jax asks if he’s seeing Alexis, and she says, yes; no. He’s treating her. This isn’t social. Well, it is, but… She shrugs. Neil takes it that Jax is an old friend. Jax says, his ex-wife actually.

Finn is sorry to take Sonny away from his family, but Sonny says whatever he’s going through seems important. Finn says, a little. The lady with Sonny’s father, the ring she’s wearing, it’s his. It’s special. He hates to do this, but he needs it back.

Anna wants to talk to Robert in private. He says, sounds important. She says, it is, and it’s not a joke.

Cameron sees a llama eating at the craft service table. He calls out, anybody lose a llama? He tells the llama, hold on one sec. He puts his guitar in the corner. He doesn’t want it messed up if this goes disastrous, which it probably will. Cameron doesn’t want to interrupt the llama’s snack, but someone could startle him, and he could get hurt. He’s going to grab the llama’s rope, and find out where he belongs. Cameron takes the llama’s lead, and pets him. He says, pretty weird, being backstage. The llama must feel out of place. Him too. He had this friend, and he died. It just seems so brutally unfair. Why is he the lucky one and gets to be alive? He guesses the question he should be asking is, what does he do with the life he has, and make the most of his chances? He’s going to start by finding out where the llama belongs. Felix comes in, and says, Budgie! He tells Cameron that Budgie thinks he’s a llama, and wandered off. They were frantic. He tells Budgie that his trailer awaits. Cameron tells Budgie, nice talking to you.

Ava says she can’t tell Scotty how much his loyalty and friendship mean to her. He says she wants him to keep out of her business. She says she and Doc know what they’re doing. Scotty says, the last time she said that, she ended up with Ryan. See how that turned out? Doc suggests they not miss any more of the Ball. They leave, and Scotty says, Lucy! the way Seinfeld used to say, Newman!

Sam tells Shiloh he looks good in his tux. At their table, Chase asks how Willow is holding up. she says, it would be a perfect night, but for Shiloh being here. At another table, Michael tells Sasha about being one of Milo’s Magic Wands. He didn’t pick the name. Sasha asks if Valentin performs, and he says, usually fully clothed.

Anna asks Robert why he ambushed her. He says he had to find some way to get in, but she’s not buying it. She says he purposely made it look like they came together. He says, so? and she says they didn’t do that. Finn is her date, and he’s being exasperating as an ex-husband.

Peter is glad he ran into Sam. He wanted to tell her about her sister Molly pitching an idea to him for an exposé. As in depth and hard-hitting of a piece as Lulu did on Ryan Chamberlain.

Scotty tells Lucy that she was supposed to get Doc in a compromising position. She tells him, don’t blame her. He was supposed to get Ava up to the suite sooner. She’s still just as determined to consciously uncouple Doc and Ava, but her first priority is the Ball.

Doc tells Ava that they should have expected something like that. She says maybe they would have if the relationship was real, and not a brilliant ruse to get Ryan out of hiding.

Anna says Robert sat next to her, and he says it was the seat he was assigned. She says he could have switched with Felicia or Mac. He says she’s right; he’s a bad boy. Can he go back now? She says not until they’ve dealt with the actual problem. He asks what that would be, and she says, even with all their history, especially with all their history, he can’t expect her try again with him.

Mike introduces Yvonne to Epiphany, who comments on what a rock Yvonne has. Yvonne says, it’s beautiful, and Epiphany says not as beautiful as her. Mike smiles proudly.

Kristina tells Josslyn, maybe a comedy? Josslyn says, this is a comedy. Kristina says, it’s not funny though; is it? Josslyn sees where it’s supposed to be or would be. Kristina says, if they weren’t both miserable? She knows she’s said it already, but it’s just them right now. She’s sorry about Oscar. Josslyn thanks her, and says, it actually helps when you’re hurting to know people care. Kristina wishes she’d realized that sooner. She could have saved them, and herself, a lot of trouble.

Jason and Spinelli go to the DOD house. They walk in, and Spinelli says Jason wasn’t kidding. They really do leave their door unlocked. Jason says, it’s Shiloh’s policy – except when he’s with Sam. He tells Spinelli that everything has to be perfect. Sam is setting Shiloh up tonight.

Sam and Shiloh sit at Peter’s table, and he introduces Shiloh to Lulu. Sam says Peter really blindsided her, saying Molly was writing a story. Lulu asks what it’s about, and Peter says, it’s a new organization that just opened up in Port Charles. It’s called Dawn of Day.

Peter says Molly is still in college, and will need mentoring. Lulu says she’d be happy to take Molly under her wing, but she knows nothing about DOD. Peter says Shiloh can fill her in. He’s their leader. Shiloh says, there is no leader per se. Maxie comes by, and tells him, save it. She asks why Sam is with him. Sam says she doesn’t judge Maxie’s dates, so she’d appreciate the same from Maxie. Maxie says, he only has one name, and it means he who has been sent. Sam says, it’s just a name, and Maxie says, it’s a perfect name for the leader of a cult.

Josslyn is checking out the Nurses Ball on her phone. Kristina says, any scandals? and Josslyn says, it wouldn’t be the Nurses Ball without them. Kristina looks at the phone, and asks, what is Sam doing there with Shiloh?    

Spinelli tells Jason, it’s looking good. They’re getting signals from all devices. Jason’s phone rings, and they jet out of the house. Jason says, it’s Kristina. He asks if she’s okay, and she says, Sam is at the Nurses Ball with Shiloh. Jason tells her, calm down, but she says Jason has to get Sam away from him. Jason says, trust him. It will all work out. She says, it won’t, and hangs up. Honestly, you’d think Kristina could figure this out.

Chase tells Willow that he has to prepare for his performance, but not to let Shiloh get to her. Or Nina. He leaves, and Sasha asks what he meant about Nina. Willow says she hasn’t been asked back to the elementary school. Sasha says, she was fired because of Nina? Willow says, there were several reasons, but one of them was Nina. Michael says there are a lot of private schools there. He’s sure she can get references from community leaders. She says she couldn’t impose, and Sasha tells her, don’t argue. Michael is a relentlessly decent guy. Resistance is futile.

Nina wonders if Michael can get Sasha to stay in Port Charles. Valentin didn’t realize things were happening so quickly between Sasha and Michael. Nina says it happened between them quickly. Maybe it’s an inherited trait. They kiss.

Robert says Anna thinks he wants them try again? She says, don’t deny it. She loves him, and always will, but she has to say no. She can’t marry him. She’s in love with Finn. Robert gets that, and she tells him, stop pursuing her. What they had is in the past. She walks away.

Sonny and Finn approach Mike. Sonny tells Mike, there’s a problem with the ring. It’s a fake. Mike bought a bum ring. Mike says he didn’t. Is Sonny sure? Sonny says, positive. Mike says he can’t take the ring back. It will break Yvonne’s heart. Finn understands, and has a suggestion. He shows Mike the replacement ring, and asks what he thinks. Sonny says, it’s a beautiful ring; the real deal. He can just explain the situation to Yvonne, and everything will be okay.

Lucy hopes everyone is having fun. She wants them to welcome back the next performer. Everyone has really anticipated his performance. Last year, he brought down the house. This detective has moves so arresting, he makes you want to write bad checks. Chase sings Something Just Like This. He’s so good, and definitely has the moves. He motions for Willow to come up. She shakes her head, but he brings her up on stage. Even though they didn’t rehearse, and as far as I know, have never even danced together, they dance perfectly. Sam smiles. Shiloh, not so much. Chase and Willow kiss.

Finn asks if he can talk to Robert, and Robert says, if he must. He says, despite Robert’s best efforts to sabotage him, he’s still proposing to Anna with the ring he intended to give her. Robert says, goody; he found it. He doesn’t suppose he can have the one back he replaced it with. Finn says, if only he could. Robert says, let him guess. Finn lost it. Finn says he knows exactly where it is, but don’t worry. Robert will be pleased to know it went to a good cause.

Yvonne says she likes the ring Mike gave her, but this one is so much better. Mike says, that’s all that matters. Sonny says they have to go back to Turning Woods, and Carly says they’ll walk Yvonne and Mike out. Mike hangs back, and says he and Sonny did a number last year, right? Sonny says they sure did, and Mike says Summer Wind. It was a good night. Sonny says, the best, and they hug. I wish they’d sing again, but I guess that’s not happening.

Lucy sees Cameron, and asks if he spoke with Josslyn. He says, no, and Lucy says he should know she’s not performing. Is he okay? He says he’s good to go, and she tells him, the show has to go on. She thanks him for saving her llama.

Everyone applauds as Chase and Willow go back to their table. Willow says, it was amazing. She had so much fun, but he’d better watch out. Groupies of all ages will be throwing themselves at him. He says, of all the screaming fangirls in the world, there’s only one woman for him.

Carly tells Jax that Josslyn said he looked handsome. He says, she’s a brave girl, and Carly says, the bravest. He thinks they should honor that courage, and not go home to check on her. She says they’re still texting though, right? He says, every half hour, and she says, his turn.

Cameron goes to Sonny’s house. Josslyn says his tux looks great. He says, no disasters yet. He has an Uber outside. The driver is really nice, and said she’d wait if Josslyn wants to change and come. Josslyn says, thanks, but she’d feel like more of a loser if she showed up and didn’t sing. She can’t. She thought about it, and even tried practicing, but it’s a duet. She can’t sing it without Oscar. Cameron gets it. He didn’t come to guilt her, but he brought her a message from Oscar.

In the hallway, Shiloh tells Sam that he needed a breather from her friend. Sam says Maxie isn’t so much a friend. Shiloh says, she called DOD a cult (like that’s never happened before), but he can’t hold Sam responsible. She gets his mission. Kristina appears, and tells Shiloh, get the hell away from her.

Spinelli and Jason get back to the MetroCourt. Spinelli says, mission accomplished. They have every inch of DOD wired, but they can’t be sure Shiloh will incriminate himself. Jason says, it doesn’t matter. This ends tonight.

Lucy talks about Robin. Robert tells Finn that Anna is about to speak. He’s Robin’s father, and he’s joining her on stage. Lucy says they love Robin, and miss her, but they’re fortunate that, in her absence, they have her also extraordinary mother there to tell them the importance of what tonight is all about. Anna takes the stage. She says her daughter is a woman of passion, a fighter, and a healer. Passion, fight, and healing are what the Nurses Ball is all about. Robin was diagnosed with HIV in 1995; a death sentence at that time. It’s taken the lives of so many loved ones, in particular, Stone, but her daughter’s death sentence became a life sentence. Where there’s life, there’s hope, and she doesn’t want them to forget, that’s the true meaning behind tonight – hope.

In the wings, Robert tells Finn that, Anna is one incredible woman. He’d better make her happy. All of a sudden, the ring rolls out and stops at her feet. Finn looks at Robert.

Tomorrow, Finn proposes to Anna, Lucy says something fishy is going on, and Sonny tells Shiloh to stay away from his daughter.

Vanderpump Rules – The Reunion – Part Three

We rewind a little to where Andy asks James if he’s still helping his family. Kristen says they act like he’s the only one helping his family. Katie says she’s been going through a helluva ride, and his parents got divorced, poor thing. Kristen says, he was raised by effing a-holes, but Lisa tells her, don’t talk like that; it’s going too far. James walks out, saying, he’s not listening to sh*t about his family without ripping someone’s head off. Lisa tells the group, take a breath. They’re not doing themselves any favors. Andy says Kristen keeps jumping into every question.

Lisa tells James, don’t walk away. He’ll lose the battle. He says he’s already won. She says he’s part of the show. He needs to pull himself together, and defend himself. Katie says people hate her because she stood up for herself. People told her to kill herself because she did something to James’s family. Lala says they need to quit talking about people’s parents. Lisa comes back with James, and asks if they’re good now.

Andy wisely changes the subject. He asks about Lala’s anxiety attacks, and she says they were driven by alcohol. We flash back to her freak-out at dinner in Mexico. She says she wanted to crawl out of her own skin. She wasn’t near Rand, her mom was far away, and her dad was gone. Andy says Scheana claimed everyone was up Lala’s ass, and treated her like she could do no wrong even before her dad passed away. He asks if Scheana has any examples, except for Lala not wanting to make out with her. We flash back to Scheana griping about that. Scheana thinks she had some insecurities, and felt like all of Lala’s other friends came first. Lala says she never wants Scheana to feel like her friendship is on the back burner. If she needs to try harder, she’ll make that happen.

Andy asks how Schwartz felt when he and Katie took the lead in the controversy surrounding inviting white Kanye to Mexico. Schwartz says he didn’t think it would be a problem. He thought enough time had passed, that it was safe. He was caught in the moment; he’s a softie. Andy asks how it made James feel when Tom got the brunt of the blame. Ariana says, in reality, they agreed. Schwartz says he knew he effed up, and it was a moment of cowardice. Katie’s voice is scary, and he didn’t know what to do. Andy asks why James would want to go somewhere, that clearly, several people didn’t want him to. He says he as curious. He’d been on all the trips. The Miami trip was fantastic. The group thought he’d be the liability of the Hawaii trip. We flash back to Jax saying James is obnoxious. James says he laughed when Jax got arrested. He wasn’t the liability. He became an international DJ when he worked in Mexico. It was all happening. He thought he’d earned the right to go on the next trip, and at the time, it hurt his feelings.

Moving on. Andy brings up Katie and Tom’s fight, where Tom blamed Katie for James losing his job and called her a bully. He asks if Tom thinks she’s responsible for James losing his job. James says, it’s irrelevant. It doesn’t mean what he did was okay, or he’s right, but Tom was pissed at the ultimatum and outcome. Tom says he thought if Katie hadn’t said anything, James wouldn’t have lost his job. It was bottled up in him. Schwartz says, back in the day, she said come pretty rough things. We flash back to Katie calling Lala a whore, and telling Schwartz, no wonder his d*ck doesn’t work. Schwartz says she’s a changed person. She’s come a long way, and matured. He loves her. Andy says Katie’s go-to insult is critiquing his d*ck. We see a clip of Schwartz saying he has a classic penis. Andy says they’re going to say it so much, it won’t work. Schwartz says it’s a nice, old-fashioned penis. Andy says Katie was penis shaming.

Andy welcome Stassi’s beau, Beau. He asks Beau if his suit is more comfortable than the dinosaur outfit. Beau says he has the dinosaur costume with him, but Stassi said. We go down the Memory Lane of Stassi’s exes, and see clips of their various antics. Jax flipped off everyone at SUR. Frank threatened to pull a customer’s underwear over his head. Patrick made unwanted comments on Lisa’s ass. Andy asks, where does Beau rank? He says Lisa loves him, and even tweeted that she loves her some Beau. Lisa says he’s lucky to have Stassi too. She’s bright and beautiful, but with her insecurities, thinks she’ll screw up. She wants Stassi to get it out of her head. Andy says Stassi put Patrick on a pedestal, and then said in her podcast that he’d cheated. Katie is shocked, saying she didn’t know about this. Stassi says the day she was moving from NYC to L.A,, she was using Patrick’s computer, and found texts between him and some, like, model that were very explicit. She didn’t want to just slink out, since she’d just told everyone she was in a new relationship. She was mortified. Beau is happy she did it. Andy asks if she made Beau happy, and Beau says, she did. Andy asks if Beau watched show when they started dating. Beau says he watched the pilot to see what he was getting into. Andy asks if it didn’t scare him, and Beau says, eff yeah. Kristen set them up. She and Beau met when she was doing an independent film, and they kissed. We see some clips from The Loneliness of the Long Distance Dreamer. Andy asks if it went further, but that’s a no. Jax says, this is the most incestuous group ever.

Andy asks about the first night in Mexico, when Stassi was arguing about going to bed. How does Beau keep cool when Stassi goes off the deep end? Beau says he gets help from friends. Andy asks what triggers Stassi’s rages? and Beau says, alcohol, Adderall past influence in relationships. He’s done nothing to make her think he’d do something shady. Andy says Stassi gave him a hard time at the club for encouraging her to have fun with her friends. Stassi says, all the girls were dancing, and she had on a maxi dress with oatmeal-colored Spanx that she’d cut the crotch out of so she could use the bathroom. She didn’t want everyone to look up and see. She didn’t feel hot, and Beau annoyed her when he kept telling her to go. She said no. He says he didn’t know she was wearing oatmeal-colored Spanx with the crotch cut out. Stassi says it’s embarrassing to say. Andy reminds Beau that he said he felt like a battered boyfriend, which was brutal. It was just over and over again.  The dark passenger snapped at the club, and his bottled feelings came out at the hotel. The old stuff and Stassi’s insecurities combined with alcohol makes the dark passenger come out. He doesn’t think it’s some deep persona thing. Andy asks who’s scarier; the dark passenger or tequila Katie. Schwartz thinks it’s Katie, but says the two of them could take over the world. Andy asks if it makes Stassi feel at risk of losing Beau if she doesn’t change her behavior. Stassi says, yes. She wants to find out what’s making her life this. She’s hurting her friends, Beau, and herself. She’s not taking Adderall again. Andy asks Beau if her behavior has changed, and they both say yes. Andy brings up Stassi’s mother telling her not to be herself or she’ll mess it up. Beau says he had no idea why her mother would say something like that. Stassi says it sticks with her, and she thinks something’s totally wrong with herself. Andy adds insult to injury by reminding Stassi that her mother also said she hoped Stassi would grow up to be half the woman Kristen is. We flash back to that. Stassi says she didn’t know about it, and it was hard to watch. Andy asks where she and her mother stand now. Stassi says they didn’t speak for eight months, but just this past weekend, she went to her sister’s bridal shower, and they talked. Her mother apologized and took ownership of what she’d done, and they both cried. It was awesome, and she’s happy about it, since she missed her mom. Everyone gets a little teary. Well, probably not James.

Andy says Jax seemed freaked out when the women arrived at the guy’s weekend. Jax says he felt guilty just being in the same room with them. He knows just because things are okay now, he still has work to do, and he’s treading water. He told Beau that the girls would probably be mad if they tell them, but they’ll find out anyway, so they’d better. Stassi says it was the right choice, but she wanted to FaceTime with those skanks. We move on to Kristen, and flash back to her freefalling in wine country. Andy says she got triggered by James DJing a party at PUMP. Does that really affect her? She wishes it didn’t. She thought she was fine. James tells her to get over it. He says she’s obsessed with him, and she has to get over him. Stassi sticks by saying she thinks it was really Carter that was the problem, and doesn’t think Kristen is obsessed with James. He triggered it, but they all knew what was going on with Carter. We see clips of Kristen complaining. Kristen insists it wasn’t about her and Carter, and she got upset when Stassi intermixed the two. Andy asks what issue broke Carter and Kristen up, and she says he didn’t respect her enough to pay his way. She felt taken advantage of. Beau thinks that Kristen vents so much about the bad, it’s all they hear. They never heard the good stuff. Andy says the girls accused Kristen of fighting in private, and acting like everything was okay in public. She says Carter was trying to make a shift; whatever it took. It doesn’t matter what caused it. Stassi says it does to her. It should be what Kristen wants, and not because of what other people think. Kristen says they made a choice not to be together. Andy reminds Kristen that she said if she ever gets married, it would be to Carter. She stands by that, and admits they still live together. Their dog was mauled by a Pitbull and she needed him. They don’t sleep in same bed every night, and they’ve only had sex twice. Andy says, it’s confusing. Stassi says they’re like Scheana and Adam. Scheana says they’re best friends, but they sleep together. Kristen says Stassi’s tough love doesn’t work for her. She doesn’t know how get him out. She cries alone, because they’re annoyed, and she’s afraid to call. Katie says Kristen is settling to be unhappy. She’s trying to make herself happy in a situation that’s no good for her. Kristen says she listened to Katie and Schwartz for eight years, and never walked away. Katie says they’re not walking away. Andy asks if the issue is that she should just get Carter’s ass out of the house. Kristen says it’s none of their business, but Katie says Kristen wants Carter to love her, and made it her business for over two years. Forgive her for having an opinion. Kristen says she does. Andy says Beau was friends with Patrick before he dated Stassi. How’s that going now? Beau says they text once in a while, but it’s been hard since Stassi’s break from him. Stassi says Patrick is scared of her. Andy tells her social media says Beau is the best thing for her; an upgrade from Jax. Stassi says she and Jax both upgraded. Andy asks Stassi if it’s hard to be not the most liked person in the relationship. She says she’s getting used to it. Stassi says she got everything she told her friends that she wanted. She wanted someone who could be friends with her friends, and do the same things she likes to do; an actual partner. Beau whispers, I love you, and Stassi returns the whisper. Everyone is like, aww! On that note, it’s time for Beau to skedaddle.

Andy says in the Mexican hotel, Schwartz’s balls were as big as anything. We flash back to Schwartz and Katie’s fight. Andy wonders where that all came from, and Schwartz said it had built up. The last rumblings of pent up resentment from early on, and was like one least burp. It was cathartic, but he felt terrible. Andy says the root of what Katie was saying is that he was working so hard, and she wanted to spend time Lisa says lot of people have jobs, and are still committed. Katie says Schwartz isn’t good at listening. Before Andy wraps up the Mexico conversation, he wants to know if Schwartz’s grand romantic gesture, of a violinist and junk food, worked. Did they make mad passionate love? Katie says she had Montezuma’s Revenge. Schwartz says he was on the verge, and Jax says they all had severe anal leakage. Andy is like, alrighty then.

He says when he thinks of rivalries, he thinks of the Hatfields and McCoys, the Red Sox and the Yankees, and Kristen and Ariana. He asks Tom if it’s weird seeing his ex and current girlfriends being friends. He says, it’s not that bad. Brittany wonders which is weirder; Tom and James being friends, or Ariana and Kristen. Ariana thinks the most weird thing is Jax and Tom being friends. Tom doesn’t think it’s weird, considering the other people who have made up. Andy asks if Kristen still thinks that Tom and Ariana did something inappropriate when she and Tom were together. She does, but it doesn’t matter anymore. Ariana says they did kiss in a pool in Vegas, so there was that.

Andy says from the moment Jax proposed, Brittany was planning her engagement party. He asks if she had the fairytale theme in mind already. She says she knew she would get married in a castle, so it followed the theme. Andy asks why the bigger Bridezilla will be; Brittany or Jax? Stassi says Brittany is Brattany. She knows what she wants. If she wants a cherry blossom tree that has to be shipped in from Japan, it’s going to happen. We find out Lala has become a bridesmaid. Brittany says she felt badly about it, because they are really close. She and the girls all have a bond. They understand each other and what they’re all going through better than anyone. Andy asks how many bridesmaids she has, and Brittany says, eleven bridesmaids and one bridesman. Andy asks why Kristen thought she should be maid-of-honor. Kristen says Brittany’s brother had said she was Brittany’s best friend in LA, so she figured it was a sure thing. Brittany says it breaks her heart that Kristen felt that way, but thought it was more appropriate for Katie to take that role. Stassi tells Ariana that she’s not picking bridesmaids. It’s too stressful.

Andy was impressed with Lisa’s beer bong. Lisa says there’s nobody else she’d do that for, and she’s never doing it again. It shot ninety miles an hour down her throat. We flash back to her burp, and Andy says, it was a great exit.

Andy points out that Tom ticked off a list of lies Jax has told over the years in the finale. Andy asks if Jax heard about it, and he says, no. Brittany reminds him that they watched the episode together. They laughed about it, because it was true. Brittany tells Andy that Jax would never say he didn’t eff up in the past. Tom says Jax had a Chanel fragrance ad in his portfolio for as long as Tom has known him, and it’s way not him. Stassi says, it doesn’t look like you, but omg, cool! Tom says something about Channing Tatum rooming with Jax, and Jax insists it’s true. It was in the beginning of his career. Tom says he was a model before Jax, and Channing was blowing up after doing a Mountain Dew ad. Jax says that’s when he left. He was nineteen, and it was a big deal. My high school boyfriend was roommates with Christopher Reeve before he was Superman, so it’s possible. Andy asks Lisa how she thinks Jax will do as a married man. She hopes well. She thinks Brittany is his best asset. She knows how control him to a certain extent. Jax says he’s still a work in progress, but he’s devoted to changing. Andy says he’s heard Jax say he was a work in progress before, but Jax says he always will be. No matter how much he changes, that old person will always be there. Lisa comparing him to Ken was an honor. Lisa says it wasn’t a positive, but Jax thinks it’s a compliment because Ken came out the other side, and he’s a great dude.

Andy says the engagement party meant something else to Scheana. Scheana says she’s never seen Adam that angry. We flash back to that, and Scheana says that’s what triggered her emotions. She never thought he’d speak to her again. Andy tells her that she kept saying she and Adam were just friends, but when he wasn’t giving her enough attention, she set up a date with a hot model. Lisa says it’s the worst choice she ever made. Well, there is Shay. Andy says then she got Adam’s attention. He asks if she was interested in Ethan or was she just setting up Adam to pay attention. Scheana says she met Ethan on Watch What Happens Live in LA. He was one of the guys who was fanning NeNe. They’ve been talking since then, which really didn’t answer the question. They discuss Botox, which Stassi says Scheana has been getting since she was twelve. Scheana says she’s going to be thirty-three, and this is how she can get a twenty-five year old.  Andy says she looks great, but she’s still young, and he thinks Botox makes you look older. I think it just makes you look freaky. Not to leave any personal stone unturned, Andy asks if she was thinking about Adam while having sex with Ethan. She admits he crossed her mind, and she felt badly about it. Andy asks how Adam reacted to the penguin, and she says he loves penguins like Stassi loves ranch dressing. It worked. She’s continued dating other people, but he hasn’t been with anyone. I wonder, how is this working? and also why Andy doesn’t ask, since he’s been so intrusive. Andy asks her about Adam not going downtown, and she says they’d go right to it without much foreplay. Lisa thinks in a relationship, if you’re not willing to go downtown, it’s a huge disrespect. Scheana says he did it the next day. There’s a TMI explosion in my head.

Andy says Brittany’s whole family was in town for the engagement party. He knows her mom and memaw love Jax, but where does he stand with the other members of the family. Brittany says she was surprised when she saw the footage, and didn’t like how Jax treated them. We see the clip where Jax says he’ll always be number one. She says she screamed bloody murder. Don’t disrespect her family. Jax agrees that he was inappropriate, but says there was a lot of pressure, and he was also entertaining his sister. He was having a couple of drinks, and trying to relax, when Brittany’s brothers kept giving him a list of what he needed to do for her. He thought, what about him? Andy asks if anyone got offended when Jax said he bought Brittany’s brother a baby. The vernacular was not great. Brittany says Jax doesn’t know how to speak; he doesn’t have a mom and dad. Andy says he has a mom. He’s not Dr. Phil, but wonders if Jax’s mom is invited to the wedding. Brittany says it’s still up in air. Andy says life is short, and Jax says he knows that. Brittany thinks his mother should try to reach out. She asks what Lisa thinks, and Lisa says she can see his pain, and as a mother, it’s incumbent on her to reach out. Brittany says they wanted to see his dad, and she told them to wait. Jax says he doesn’t have a mother, but Lisa says until recently. It’s going to hurt his mother when she sees this. He should say he wishes she’d reach out. Brittany says, Marie, please reach out. Jax says he’s the only man in the family, and doesn’t understand why she didn’t talk to him. Regardless of what his dad said, he would have called and told them he’s not going to make it; get on a plane. Andy asks how they think his father would feel about the engagement. Jax says he loved Brittany. Brittany says Jenny sent her texts about how he would love her, and she’s saving them forever.

James tells Stassi to get off his d*ck. Stassi says he won’t shut up, and stop telling her to shut up. He has no right to talk to her like that; it’s disgusting. Brittany says, it’s not okay. That’s why he’s never going to be around her again. He was talking about her family. James says Jax was talking sh*t about Raquel, and Andy says Brittany has never said a bad word to him. Why was he taking it out on her? She’s the nicest one in the room. James says he felt like it. He knows it’s not nice, okay? Lisa says, it’s not okay. He asks what she wants him to say. She says he’s going to lose any bit of support he has, and he asks if that’s a threat from her. She tells him that she’s saying, unless he changes, he’s going to lose the support he has. Andy says, James is no longer at SUR, and his relationship with the group has frayed; what’s in store? James says he’s making music, traveling America, and DJing. There’s a lot he’s working on, and he has high, high hopes.

Andy asks Schwartz how he felt about the audience reaction to Katie, and the haters. He says it took willpower not go after them, but he knows better than to feed the trolls. His wife is sexy and beautiful, and he loves her. Suck his classic d*ck.

Peter is standing by with cocktails, along with Ken, who has a tray of memaw’s beer cheese. Andy asks Lisa who she thinks will be first to have a PUMP baby. Shouldn’t that be a SUR baby? She thinks it will be Brittany, and Jax says, she’s already pregnant. Brittany says he’s just kidding. She wants to have fun at the wedding. Andy says nothing is coming between her and having fun at her wedding. They all say, cheers, and Lala toasts with cheese. They don’t seem to like the shots very much, and Brittany tells them, chase it with the beer cheese.

The end. For now

👗 Red Carpet At the Nurses Ball…

They’re all beautiful, but Lulu’s dress gives me life.

https://www.abc.soapsindepth.com/posts/general-hospital-nurses-ball-2019-fashion-170851

🐶 Lisa Goes To the Dogs…

Who needs the Wives when you can be with Giggy?

https://radaronline.com/photos/lisa-vanderpump-rules-at-dog-day-amid-rhobh-feud/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

👑 And If You’re Not All Throned Out…

I’ll bet it was on purpose. It’s like the last day of school, senior year.

https://nypost.com/2019/05/20/someone-left-a-water-bottle-in-the-game-of-thrones-finale/

The cast says goodbye.

https://pagesix.com/2019/05/19/emilia-clarke-says-goodbye-to-game-of-thrones-ahead-of-series-finale/

The facts.

https://nypost.com/2019/05/19/bran-is-the-surprise-star-of-the-game-of-thrones-finale/

An interesting take.

https://www.essence.com/entertainment/game-of-thrones-series-finale-recap/

And my favorite. Throne with a side of snark. I’ll miss this recap.

https://betches.com/game-of-thrones-series-finale-recap-and-none-for-jon-snow/

👫 Interesting Pair…

Apparently, Gina Kirschenheiter (Real Housewives of Orange County) and Danny Trejo (Machete) are in an ad for some kind of ED device.

https://www.bravotv.com/the-daily-dish/erectile-dysfunction-treatment-commercial-stars-gina-kirschenheiter

I couldn’t find a video of the ad, so you get this instead.

 

 

 

 

May 15, 2019 – Mike Makes a Proposal, NYC Goes Upstate, Erika Blows the Power, a Little Charm & Expensive

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

We are interrupted by a helicopter landing in the Hudson. Thankfully, not for long.

Yvonne is telling Mike a story about her dog. Sonny comes in, and says the nurse insisted Mike needed to see him right away. What’s up? Sonny says hi to Yvonne, and Mike asks if she minds him having a moment with his son. Sonny says, everything okay? and Mike says, better than okay. He wants Sonny to be there for the good news. He’s proposing to Yvonne tonight.

Mac shows Felicia the substitute ring, saying, the setting might not be an exact replica, but it’s close. Felicia asks if they don’t think Finn will know the difference. Robert and Mac just look at her, and she guesses they have a point. Robert isn’t so sure she’ll say yes, but Felicia says, ring or no ring, Anna is ripe for a proposal. Anna appears, and Robert says they didn’t see her there.

Jordan and Finn play backgammon. He tells her that he played with Tracy Quartermaine when she was a patient there, and she beat him too. Jordan tells him not to expect her to go easy on him. Stella runs in, saying she’s sorry. She just got Curtis’s message. Thank God Doc is a match. She asks when the transplant is scheduled, but Jordan says there’s been a complication. She’s not getting a transplant.

Toronto. Laura and Curtis have coffee. She says at least they put the time to good use. She thinks April’s story doesn’t hold water. She checked the flights from Miami to Toronto, and they were all rerouted because of the storm. Maybe she flew to Buffalo and rented a car, but it doesn’t seem likely. Curtis says, that ain’t what happened. He has proof April lied about Ryan.

At the café, Jason asks if Carly wants orange juice, but she’s like, please, no more. He asks if she’s okay, and she says she’s sad; really sad. She’s grateful for her family and the new baby, and her best friend. He says he’s thankful for her too. It’s what Oscar wanted. He didn’t want them to grieve, but to remember they still have each other.

Sam sees Shiloh putting up flyer in the park. She asks if he shouldn’t be resting, but he says he’s survived worse than a bump on the head before. She says she was getting some fresh air. She went to Oscar’s celebration; it was beautiful. Shiloh says, he was a special young man. He’s sorry he didn’t get to know him better. It just goes to show, you can’t take time for granted. He thinks they should get together soon. What better way to celebrate life than finishing her initiation?

Jason gives Carly some chamomile tea. Carly says she always associates it with being pregnant, and finds it soothing. He says she should drink it more often. She says, ha-ha. She asks him to fill her in on how close he is to arresting Shiloh. He says they still need Kristina’s Pledge, but they can’t get it unless Sam gets into the Trust, Shiloh’s inner circle. Carly says for a woman to join the Trust, she has to give damaging information, then he drugs, tattoos, and has sex with her. How far is Sam going with this?

Sam says, Shiloh wants to finish her initiation? It wasn’t exactly orthodox. He tells her not to let the misguided actions of a lost soul keep her from enlightenment. She wonders if the other Trust members know she’s being initiated, since they’re usually there. He says they’ll accept her because he does. The sooner they do it, the better. They can complete the initiation tonight. She says she can’t do it tonight. After Oscar’s celebration, she’s been thinking about her kids a lot, and wants to hold them. She’s picking them up at their grandmother’s. He urges her to reflect on her priorities. The longer she puts it off, the more she’s likely to abandon them like her sister did.

Mike tell Sonny to feel free to congratulate him. Sonny says, it’s a lot to take in. He thinks they should talk, and Mike says, what about? Does he think it hasn’t been long enough since Sonny’s mother died? He and Adele were divorced a long time before she died, but he’s not replacing Sonny’s mother. Sonny says he’s not saying that, and Mike asks why he’s being negative. Sonny says Mike asked him to talk, so let’s talk. They sit, and Sonny says Mike is jumping in a little fast. How does he know she’s the right one? Mike says, of course (🍷) she is. Why can’t Sonny be happy for him? He thought Sonny liked Yvonne. Sonny says he does, but someone else might want to weigh in. Mike asks, who in the blazes would that be?

Anna asks, why so solemn? Is everyone okay? Robert says they were just talking about the scuzzy rag Henrik publishes. Anna says, Peter, and he says, the scuzzy rag Peter publishes. Felicia says he knows Anna and Peter have a good relationship. Peter and Maxie are on their first date. She wouldn’t be surprised if they went to Valentin and Nina’s wedding together. Anna is surprised they’re getting married again; they have so much baggage. Robert says, maybe Nina believes in second chances. Anna thinks past lovers should stay in the past, but Felicia says, if you love someone, and want to spend the rest of your life with them, nothing else matters. Anna sees how some people feel that way, but she’s sworn off marriage.

Stella asks if Doc changed his mind, but Jordan says Doc never wavered. Finn says Doc told him it was all right to pass along the information; he’s pre-diabetic. It’s probably from malnutrition when his brother held him captive. He’s unable to donate. Stella says the condition can be controlled with diet and exercise, but Finn says it will take six months. Jordan says that’s too long for her. Stella says, then they’ll regroup. Before Doc stepped up, Curtis was setting up an account with a genetic profiling site. They can see if they can find a donor from there. Jordan says she hasn’t told Curtis yet.

Curtis tells Laura, while she was talking to April, he looked inside the house. He saw a stack of papers, and on top was the Page Five section. Laura says, from The Invader? He says, yes. He wasn’t sure if it was syndicated, but he did research while he was in line, and it’s not. So why would some woman born and raised in Madison, Ontario be so concerned with local Port Charles gossip? Laura says, because the paper wasn’t for her. It was for Ryan.

Mac tells Anna that he had no idea she was against marriage. Anna says she’s been married several times, and they all ended in disaster. She looks at Robert, and says, no offense. He says, none taken. Felicia says, what if it’s the right person, and Anna says she knows herself. She’s not built for marriage.

Mike tells Sonny, the only person who has a say is Yvonne. It’s not like her father is still around. Sonny says he’s talking about the family, and Mike is sure they’ll be more supportive than he’s being, Sonny says Mike is right. He’s being extra protective. If he’s determined to do it tonight, at least talk to someone who’s objective, like Stella. Mike trusts her, right? Mike says, yeah. He should be the one to give Stella the good news. Great idea.

Stella says, Jordan didn’t tell Curtis. Hasn’t she learned anything? He’d want to know and should. Finn says, it’s not best time to stress Jordan out, and Jordan asks for a private moment with Stella. Finn leaves, and Jordan tells Stella not to jump to conclusions. Stella says she’s holding back vital information. Jordan says, it just happened. TJ knows, and now she does. She’ll tell Curtis when he comes back. Stella says if she calls, he’ll come back, but that’s what Jordan doesn’t want him to do. He needs to stay on the case. Stella asks what makes her think the case is more important to Curtis than she is.

Laura finds it hard to believe someone living there would care who’s dating who in Port Charles. Curtis says, him too. His phone rings, and he says, it’s a Canadian number. He answers, and it’s April. He says they were just talking about her. She’s sorry she wasn’t upfront, but she wasn’t alone. He asks if she’s alone now, and she tells him to get there as soon as he can. She’ll tell them everything. She hangs up, and he tells Laura, she’s ready to talk. They jet.

Felicia understands how Anna feels, but doesn’t think marriage is the cause of relationships ending or failing. It’s the relationship itself/ People grow and change, or don’t see each other clearly. There are plenty of times it does work. Mac says they’ve had heartbreak, but it made them stronger. Anna says she and Finn are perfect the way they are right now. They challenge each other, respect each other’s boundaries, and his non-conformist personality is a great match with hers. They have no expectations, and they’re content with the relationship as it is. She wouldn’t change a thing. Robert’s phone rings. It’s Finn, but he doesn’t answer.

Finn leaves a message for Robert. No more stalling. He wants his ring, and expects Robert to be there at the drop off tonight.

Jordan says Stella knows she can’t get into specifics about a case; the same way Stella can’t with clients. Stella says Jordan is in the hospital, and shouldn’t be concerned about a case. Marcus shows up with flowers, and Stella says she thought they were meeting downstairs, but Jordan says they’re wrapping things up. Marcus says he knows how flowers can brighten up a hospital room. Flowers always made Yvonne smile, and he hopes they have the same effect on Jordan. She thanks him for his thoughtfulness. Stella says they still have a bit to discuss, and asks Marcus to meet her in the restaurant. Stella’s phone rings, and she excuses herself. It’s Mike, who says he’s got some news for her. She says, judging by his voice, it’s something good. He says, it sure is. He’s proposing to Yvonne tonight. Stella looks at Marcus.

Laura asks Curtis, if Ryan is hiding at April’s house, why would he leave, and give her the opportunity to call someone? And why call them, not the police? Curtis says maybe he doesn’t know they’re on to him, or she’s in denial and needs more information to see the truth. Laura says, or maybe they’re walking into a trap.

Sam tells Shiloh that she thought Kristina was thinking things through, and not to assume she’s leaving DOD. He says Kristina came by see him. Sam says her mom said Kristina was in town. He says it turns out she wanted to tell him face to face that she’s not returning. He wishes she’d reconsider. Sam says she could talk to Kristina, but he thinks it would be better to let her be right now. She might have fulfilled her ultimate purpose by bringing in Sam. Sam says something Shiloh taught Kristina stuck. She told him face to face. Normally, she’d go south. The old Kristina wouldn’t do that. He says he thinks she was also making sure there wouldn’t be any trouble, but he couldn’t tell her what she wanted to hear.

Carly tells Jason, it’s one thing to pretend to break up, but Sam is risking being drugged and sexual assault. What comes next? Jason tells her, calm down, but she wants him to listen to her. What if Shiloh drugs Sam. She clutches, and Jason asks, what is it? She says nothing. He has to make Sam listen. She clutches again, and he asks what’s wrong. She says it’s probably nothing; just pain. He says they have to make sure, and helps her up.

Sonny and Yvonne debate recipes, and Mike thinks they should have a mac and cheese bakeoff. Yvonne is game if Sonny is. Sonny says he’ll be back, and meets Stella. Marcus has come with her, and asks, what’s going on? Stella says they were on their way to dinner when she got a call from Mike, and she explained the situation to Marcus. Unfortunately, they all knew something like this might happen. Sonny says, first of all, they can’t get married, not in the legal sense, but they won’t understand why. Mike used to know that Yvonne was married, but now he doesn’t. Marcus says, or doesn’t want to. Sonny asks if they’re going down that road again. Stella says it gives them a semblance of hope and happiness. They’re less and less able to remember their old lives. It sill distress them both if they try to explain. Marcus says, Yvonne is married, whether she remembers or not, and he’s not letting that man propose to his wife.

At the hospital, Jason wonders if he should call Sonny, and she says, absolutely not. He already has his hands full. They should wait until there’s something to know. She asks Epiphany if her doctor is available, and Epiphany says, no. Does she need an exam? Carly says, no, but Jason says, yes. Epiphany asks if she’s having pain, and Carly says it’s nothing serious. Epiphany tells her she’s not a practicing medical professional. She’ll give Carly an exam, and she’ll decide.

Sam asks Shiloh, what kind of trouble is Kristina worried about? He wouldn’t harm her, would he. He says, of course (🍷) not. She walked out, and can’t figure out how to apply the principles she learned to the real world. It’s like when someone stops taking their medication because they feel better. She’s flown to close to the sun, but when she crashes, they’ll be there with open arms to take her back. Her place is with them.

Laura thinks they should call the authorities. Curtis says, and tell them what? That they were lying about being census takers? They go onto the porch, and Curtis says, the door is open. Laura says, that’s not right, and he tells her, now would be a good time to call the police. Laura has no service, and looks for a spot. When she turns around, Curtis is gone.

She finds him inside, and he tells her, the power has probably been cut. He uses the flashlight on his phone to look around. He calls to April, saying she called them. He tells Laura to go to the main highway, and see if there’s service, but she says she’s not leaving him alone. He looks around some more, and says, oh damn. April’s body is behind the couch. Laura gasps, and says, oh no.

Finn couldn’t help notice things were intense between Jordan and Stella. Jordan says, intense is their baseline. She wanted to tell Curtis about Doc, but the last time she gave him bad news, he dropped everything. She doesn’t want him to lose the lead. Finn asks if it isn’t Curtis’s decision to make. They’re married now, and account for one another. No unilateral decisions. Jordan bets Anna put him up to watching her. Backgammon was just an excuse to keep eye on her. He says he has no idea what she’s talking about, and smiles. She sees why Anna loves him. She’s happy they found each other. Maybe one day, she can return the favor and dispense marital advice to him. He says, you never know.

Anna says she didn’t mean to kill the mood, and Robert says he speaks for everyone in being delighted about her and Finn’s solid understanding of each other. Robert’s phone dings, and he excuses himself. Anna hopes there’s a major crisis on the other side of the world. Felicia says they’ve been friends for ages, but she never heard Anna say anything like this. She wonders when Anna decided against the idea of marriage.

Marcus says he played along with this charade, but he’s not letting another man propose to his wife. He’ll transfer her to another facility. Sonny says nothing has changed. They’re happy; that’s what matters. Stella agrees, but says Marcus has a right to his feelings. They had a lifetime as husband and wife. He had to let that go when she was diagnosed, and bring her there. Sonny knows it’s a lot, but asks Marcus not to blame his dad. They managed find each other, and as long as they’re under the same roof, they’ll find a way to be with each other. He gets that Marcus is frustrated. Everything is frustrating with the situation. Marcus says he wants what’s best for Yvonne, and knows she’ll be happy with Mike, but he can’t stand there and watch. Stella understands. Marcus goes over to Yvonne, and says hello. He wanted to tell Yvonne how lovely she looks. He puts his hand on her shoulder, and walks away. Yvonne tells Mike, what a sweet man, and Mike says, yes. He asks if he can talk to her about something. He steers her away, giving a thumbs up to Sonny.

Shiloh tells Sam that he has to get back, and gives her a flyer. He hopes to see her there. She says it’s for tomorrow night. She can’t go. She’s going to the Nurses’ Ball. Shiloh says, that sham of a charity? She says she’s gone every year, and it’s far from a sham. He says a bunch of rich people paying for a song and dance, and a four-course meal. Why don’t they just write a check, or volunteer their time. Sam asks, what’s wrong with people feeling good while doing good? This charity brought in a lot of money for HIV and AIDS, and he’s being judgmental. Has he ever gone? He says, no, and she says, there’s an obvious solution. Cancel the event – she crumples up the flyer – and come to the Nurses’ Ball with her.

Epiphany tells Jason that he can come in. He asks if everything is okay, and Epiphany says, the baby is fine. It’s an uncomfortable, but harmless pain, common in the second trimester. He says, so there’s nothing to worry about? She says, just discomfort. There’s stretching Carly can do, and warm compresses. Her doctor will go into more detail at her appointment tomorrow. Carly says she doesn’t have an appointment, and Epiphany says the office has been trying contact her. The results of her CVS test are back. She insists that Carly rest for fifteen minutes before she leaves, and Jason says he’ll make sure. Carly says she appreciates it, and Epiphany says, show it by following instructions. She leaves, and Carly says she wishes she could get the results sooner. Jason says she’s fine. Everyone is fine. Tomorrow, whatever happens, happens, but tonight everyone she loves is safe, so rest. He doesn’t want to get in trouble with Epiphany. Ha-ha! Epiphany is probably the only person Jason is afraid of.

Sam asks if Shiloh wants to be her date/ He’s the one who keeps telling her, honesty above all else. She’s being honest in telling him it’s so much fun, and challenging him to see for himself. Want to let her show him a good time? Shiloh says, all right. She’s got herself a date. Now he has to cancel the event. She takes the flyer down, crumples it, and hands it to him. He says he’ll see her tomorrow. When he’s gone, she texts Jason; Shiloh took the bait.

Anna tells Felicia that she’s never had the occasion to talk about it. No big deal. She has to go, and Mac says, they have a problem.

Finn asks Robert where the ring is. Robert gives it to him, and says the ring is the least of his problems. Last he heard, Anna was having a tirade against the institution of marriage. Finn looks at the ring, and says it isn’t his. Where’s the ring he bought for Anna?

Mike tells Yvonne, the last few months have been the happiest of his life. At least the part he can remember. He gets on one knee, and says he was wondering if she’d do him the honor becoming wife. He shows her the ring.

Jordan thinks about Stella asking if she hasn’t learned anything, and Finn saying it’s Curtis’s decision to make. There are no unilateral decisions. She picks up the phone, and calls Curtis.

Curtis feels April’s neck for a pulse. He tells Laura, she’s probably been dead less than an hour. If they’ve ever needed the cops, they need them now. Laura says she can’t get cell service, and he tells her, try outside. She walks out, and Curtis looks at April’s hands, saying, it looks like she put up a fight. They have DNA evidence. He calls to Laura that he thinks they’ve got something. Someone hits him from behind, and knocks him out. Laura comes in. She sees Curtis, and then sees his assailant. She screams, and backs up against the wall.

Tomorrow, Kristina tells Molly that Shiloh is a predator, Anna tells Peter that she thinks she’s getting a marriage proposal, and Sonny says he has no idea how Mike got the ring.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Luann tells her hairdresser that her house is like a bird’s nest. She saw an eagle this morning, and she can’t wait for the girls to come. Sonja’s already on her way.

In her interview, Sonja says the limo/bus she’s taking is like a private plane on wheels. She can watch TV, and it has a toilet. Her dog Marley is coming along, and she brushes him. She’s excited to see the house. LuAnn almost sacrificed everything to be in this hood. It’s much smaller than the mansion she tried to wheedle money for. We flash back to LuAnn saying she was asking everyone she knew for six million dollars. I would have been like Sylvia Miles when Jon Voight asks her for money in Midnight Cowboy. I was just about to ask you for some…

Dorinda goes to a flower shop. She wants dark, sultry, sexy flowers. In her interview, she says, it’s amazing. Sutton place feels like London. She walks everywhere, every day. it’s so accessible, and she feels emotional about it. She goes into a cheese shop next, and wonders where to begin. Thirty blocks down, and four avenues over, and it’s changed the dynamic of her life. It’s easy for her to visit Hannah and John. She tastes some cheeses.

Bethenny meets Tinsley, who’s dog has cancer; her baby. In Tinsley’s interview, she says Bambi is the type of dog who’s loved, caressed, and smothered in kisses. They would have felt any lump, but this just appeared. I feels so sad for her. This, I can identify with. Not that stupid Scott stuff. She tells Bethenny about Sonja yelling at her, saying the kid thing wasn’t happening. We see clip of Sonja going off on how Tinsley shouldn’t want what she says she does. In her interview, Tinsley says she’s known Sonja a long time, and Sonja thinks Tinsley should only take her advice. If she listens to anyone else, it’s like a betrayal. In another clip, Sonja says every woman doesn’t need a child, and Tinsley only thinks she wants one. Tinsley says she doesn’t want to be under Sonja’s wing anymore.

Marley and Sonja arrive. Sonja tells the driver, it was heaven. She thinks the house is so LuAnn. Isn’t that a Disney show? So LuAnn? LuAnn welcomes her. in LuAnn’s interview, she says the house has good karma, and she wants to keep it that way. Sonja says this is where all the cool people live. In her interview, LuAnn says that she lives in a small town in the Hamptons, and it’s right at the street. People come by and stare at the house, and she’s even found photographers in the bushes. Wow. They must be desperate. She says she didn’t feel secure, and upstate, she doesn’t have that problem.

Sonja says she burns the candle at both ends. When she’s drinking, she’s drinking; and when she’s not drinking, she’s not. Bethenny said she needs a happy medium. She’s just trying to keep her sh*t together, but she didn’t when she saw Tinsley and Ramona. Tinsley was being a downer because her dog has cancer. First, the boyfriend, then the dog. Then she started going on about finding a man and getting married, and Sonja flew off the handle. We see a clip of Sonja telling Tinsley, when she got married, she wanted to be with her husband. If she wants a baby, get one. She doesn’t need a man. She tells LuAnn, how many women marry and have kids, and are miserable?

Ramona joins Tinsley and Bethenny. She has to say something, but wants to preface it. Barbara told her that she’s like a bull in a china shop. She’s like her mother, and her delivery sucks. In Bethenny’s interview, she says she has to get stretched out and ready for this bullsh*t. She tells Bethenny that she’s happy Bethenny is there for lunch, but part of her feels ignored. She knows Bethenny is busy, but she wishes Bethenny had missed the red carpet, instead of her party. Bethenny says, know thyself. She suggests Ramona talk what she would do. Ramona says she doesn’t know, but we all know she’d go where the hottest guys were. In her interview, Bethenny, gives Ramona an R for a reach. Ramona tells Bethenny that she’s just saying she wishes Bethenny had been there. Bethenny says she had one drink, and came home. She’s trying to squeeze twenty-five pounds of sh*t into a five pound bag. (My father used to say that.) She wants to spend time with Brynn, and wouldn’t go to see Madonna at 11. She left at 11:20, and LuAnn said something about her leaving to watch Brynn sleep. In Bethenny’s interview, she says, eff off. It doesn’t matter if she’s scoring crack at 11:30. LuAnn turns into a pumpkin? Ramona says LuAnn wouldn’t be in the situation she’s in if not for Bethenny. Bethenny says it’s not even about her. Have some common decency. Ramona says LuAnn expects people to do things she doesn’t, and I nearly choke on my coffee. Pot meet kettle. In her interview, Ramona says, LuAnn is on her high horse. She’s a cabaret star now. Do you know who I am?

LuAnn shows Sonja around. Sonja loves what she did with the place. It is beautiful.

Bethenny tells Tinsley, Sonja admitted to being in a bad mood for four days straight, and saying something to Tinsley about needing to have a baby on her own. Tinsley says she’s the only one in the group with no child. It makes her feel inadequate as a woman. She has nothing to be proud of. Wow. I feel sad again for her. Not only that she feels inadequate, but that she was raised to think only having children is something to be proud of. Bethenny says, many people with no kids live happy, fulfilled lives. She asks, what does Tinsley want or think she should do? There are no bad answers. Tinsley says she was programmed think that’s what she wants. When she’s been a mother, it’s to her chihuahuas. She knows it’s in there, and she’d be great at it. I say, get more dogs. In her interview, Tinsley relates to being a mother through mothering her dogs. She tells them she doesn’t want to date, even though the clock is ticking. Ramona asks why she can’t do it on her own. Bethenny says she can’t have it all. Ramona says, she can try, but she can’t. Bethenny says, the clock is ticking. Tinsley thinks the first step is being in a committed, loving relationship. In Ramona’s interview, she knows Tinsley was raised as a traditionalist, but she’s forty-three, and needs to rethink things quickly. Bethenny doesn’t envy her posotion. In Bethenny’s interview, she knows Tinsley is like Peter Pan, and doesn’t want to grow up and deal with it, but not everyone is Halle Berry or Janet Jackson. If she wants kids, she has to get crackin’. She has no time to wait for a man to have a baby. Tinsley says she wants a family; a guy who loves her, and who she loves. Who else would she have it with? Bethenny says, the best sperm you can get. Tinsley says she’ll give it another month, and come back to it. Bethenny says before the new year. They’re giving her four weeks. Ramona says they’ll be the godmothers.

Ramona thinks they should all go away before Christmas, and do something special. Some of them love Aspen, but Tinsley suggested Miami. She found a house they can possibly rent; it’s 18000 square feet. She shows them pictures on her phone, and says, Mario might come. Bethenny asks, what’s going on? Ramona doesn’t know, but insists she hasn’t seen him naked for three years, when they had goodbye sex.

Barbara arrives. She’s come bearing gifts. In her interview, she says being in LuAnn’s house is like being in the George Jetson bubble. It’s like floating on the water. LuAnn says it’s her first dinner party there. The talk about the Halloween party, and Barbara says she felt comfortable in her Slash costume. Sonja still isn’t sure who that is, but says it was a good party. Barbara wonders why LuAnn didn’t mingle with them before her performance, and Sonja says some of the girls were upset. Bethenny is concerned, now that she’s a cabaret star, LuAnn doesn’t don’t spend time with them. LuAnn says she was rehearsing, and afterward, was with them for a while. Bethenny could have waited ten minutes. Her kid would have been sleeping; what’s the rush? One thing LuAnn doesn’t grasp is that Bethenny had to relieve the sitter. She’s not even figuring in that there’s a third party who might have wanted to go home or out. In LuAnn’s interview, she thinks what she said isn’t that big of a deal compared to what Bethenny has said about her. We flash back to Bethenny calling LuAnn a whore, a liar, and a snake. Sonja says she’s acting like a celebrity, and LuAnn reminds Sonja that she’s in her house, eating at her table. Watch yourself, girlfriend. LuAnn wishes Sonja would have her back once in a while. Sonja says she’s a Sagittarius, and tells the truth. Me too! In LuAnn’s interview, she wonders how much Sonja has had her back, and how much she’s been part of the conversation.  LuAnn says it was a fabulous party. She didn’t forget her girlfriends; she was rehearsing. They’re big enough to take care of themselves. In her interview, Sonja says LuAnn added insult to injury, saying they can take care of themselves. The preparation for their outfits took longer than LuAnn’s show. They’re were there for her, not there for them. LuAnn says she’s not apologizing. Sonja tells her not to forget her friends; just thank them for showing up. In Barbara’s interview, she says LuAnn doesn’t like confrontation. She doesn’t hear what they’re trying to say. LuAnn says she’s in her happy place, and she hopes the women aren’t planning to gang up on her. Sonja says Let’s Ramonacize it, package it, and move on.

Bethenny is driving upstate (or rather, being driven) with Dorinda and Tinsley. She says it’s a dry county, so she’s bringing liquor. She can sell out of the trunk. Ramona is out looking for a housewarming gift. She says it’s good to bring a gift, especially if you’re going to be late. She sees a coaster that says cock on it, and says LuAnn would like that. Then she realizes the companion coaster says tail.

After speaking with Barbara and Sonja, LuAnn figures the women have an agenda. She feels the wind coming down the Hudson River, blowing strong and fast. Sonja watches as she tries on necklaces from her new collection. She never thought the cabaret thing would be as big as it’s gotten. Working on the a collection for the cabaret show came organically. We see a clip of her having photos taken, wearing the necklaces. In her interview, she says it made sense to do the collection, since she loves statement necklaces. In Sonja’s interview, she says she loves the cabaret collection. It’s lovely to see LuAnn’s passion be ignited, but cabaret is now a trigger word for the group.   

In the car, Bethenny asks how many times they think LuAnn will say cabaret. Dorinda is all for a drinking game, but Bethenny says they’ll be in a blackout quickly. They can stop at the rehab on the way back. Dorinda suggests they take off a piece of clothing each time. Tinsley says they’re either in danger of alcohol poisoning or hypothermia.

Ramona decides on candlesticks.

Sonja says Barbara was mugged when she was nine, and asks her what the other thing was. Barbara says she had boobs at nine, and was touched in the locker room. Sonja say she got her ass kicked, and tells Barbara her favorite move to smash a girl’s head. Barbara says Sonja was a killer. Sonja says people wanted to beat her up. Like now.

The woman talk about politically correct words in the car. Dorinda says she doesn’t know a lot of them, and Bethenny says, just don’t talk. They pull in, and go inside. LuAnn and company are lying by the fireplace. LuAnn says it’s a little late for the fall foliage, and shows them the view. In her interview, Bethenny says, it’s charming. She thought the six million dollar house was a terrible idea. This is manageable.  They do the tour. In Dorinda’s interview, she thinks it’s isolated, and isolating. Not what she expected. Barbara must think it’s really in the boondocks if she thought the Berkshires was. Barbara says it’s like being on the water. The guest room has its own kitchen, and in her interview, Bethenny says, you can take a sh*t, and cook a souffle at the same time. Tinsley says if anything drove her to drink, it would be living there full time. LuAnn talks about how busy she’s been. In her interview, she believes the women think her house is great. Unless they’re good liars.

Sonja says Ramona’s party is on her IG story. She plays it for them. In her interview, Sonja says they’ve put up with Ramona’s sh*t for so long, and have gone to all of her other birthday parties. They’ll see if those people pick up the phone a few years from now. They’ll be there, and the new people won’t. LuAnn says they’re going to Rhinebeck for dinner, and then to Kingston afterward. There’s an entertainer called Margarita. She’s from Cuba, is eighty years old, and plays the keyboard. Tinsley raises her glass, and clinks it with Bethenny. In her interview, Tinsley says, it wasn’t the exact word, but it was close. She didn’t come there to make friends, but to win the cabaret drinking game. In Bethenny’s interview, she wonders if she’s required to go to the cabaret. She’s never been to a cabaret in her whole life, and she’s okay. In Dorinda’s interview, she says she’s having an out-of-body experience, and she’s not even drinking.

Sonja says she, Ramona, and Tinsley had fun on their girl’s night out. We see the clip of Sonja lecturing Tinsley, and asking who programmed this sh*t in her hea. Tinsley says she’s sorry her dog has cancer, and she’s sad. And she’s sad about her relationship being broken up. She was trying to have a conversation, but Sonja didn’t want to participate in it. Sonja admits she was rude, and Tinsley was hurt. Tinsley wouldn’t listen. Bethenny says Tinsley didn’t want a prescription for her life. Sonja says they all have problems. When they’re together, sometimes they have to compartmentalize. She had no strength for the baby/boyfriend story. In her interview, Tinsley says it’s not a sob story; it’s her life right now. Bethenny thanks Lu Ann for including them.

Barbara tells Bethenny that the three of them were just yapping before the she and the others got there. Bethenny asks if they talked about sex. Barbara says LuAnn called her liquid. Bethenny says, gender fluid? Sonja is coining the liquid term. Barbara says she thought she was bi-sexual, but she’s sexually fluid. She takes what’s in front of her, but they have to be hot. In Bethenny’s interview, she says she’s kissed Barbara, Sonia made out with a stranger, and LuAnn tried to make out with everyone. They’re a piece of dental floss away from being lesbians. Barbara says she was in a relationship with a woman for a few years. Bethenny asks what broke it up, and Barbara says she loves men more. Much more. Bethenny says, then she dabbles. In Barbara’s interview, she says she’s always asked if she went downtown. What else is there to do? LuAnn is surprised. In her interview, she says she’s shocked that Barbara had a relationship with a woman, since she likes men, but LuAnn is open.

LuAnn asks if they think she’s landed on her feet. Bethenny says, absolutely. LuAnn says she’s going to be doing a Christmas show at the Grammercy. Dorinda asks what she does besides sing, and LuAnn says she’s added a Q&A session. Bethenny asks about her costume on Halloween, and LuAnn says, it was similar to Tinsley’s, but she was working more than anything. She was hoping Bethenny would stay, but Bethenny says she had to let the sitter go. She didn’t appreciate LuAnn’s comment about how she had to go home to watch her kid sleep. In her interview, Dorinda says she feels like a National Geographic photographer. She’s watching the craziness unroll, until there’s blood on the floor, and someone is ate for dinner. Bethenny says she didn’t want to keep the sitter out. LuAnn says Bethenny came to her rescue in so many ways, she wanted Bethenny to help celebrate the good things too. Bethenny says she’s the mother of an eight-year-old. She went trick-or-treating after school. She’s a mom. LuAnn says don’t talk to her like she isn’t. Bethenny says she’s not a mom with an eight-year-old. She suggested Bethenny have someone take care of her kid, so she could go out. She doesn’t want to go out, but she came to see LuAnn’s performance, and she came. LuAnn tells Bethenny that she always says she has to get home for Brynn. LuAnn is so unbelievably clueless. She doesn’t realize how bad she sounds. Bethenny says LuAnn is doing cabaret, and that’s her life. Bethenny supports that, but LuAnn isn’t supporting Bethenny’s life. LuAnn isn’t thinking about anybody but herself. LuAnn says Bethenny didn’t have to rush; her daughter was sleeping. In her interview, Bethenny asks who does LuAnn think she is, telling her what to do as a single mom?  She asks how LuAnn dares to say something negative about her choices. LuAnn says she was hurt because Bethenny didn’t stay and celebrate the moment with her. Bethenny says she can’t live her life to celebrate LuAnn’s life. She celebrated LuAnn last summer. Topping herself in cluelessness, LuAnn asks what she means. Sonja says Bethenny helped her out.

Next time, Bethenny tells LuAnn that they all have their own lives, Ramona says she was hurt when she was left nothing in the will, and we see the eighty-year-old cabaret artist. It looks… interesting.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

It’s one week until Camille’s wedding. She tries on her dress and feels like a princess. It’s gorgeous, sleeveless with a crocheted flower overlay.

LVP’s new kitchen is done. She says, it’s been a torturous few months, but worth it. It’s the coolest thing. Lots of white with silver and pearly pink details.

PK isn’t a wilderness kind of guy, but Dorit tells him the camping trip wasn’t as rugged as she thought. When she tells him there was a public restroom and he goes, urrg. In her interview, she says when she leave town for more than one night, her mother comes to stay. She feels her kids are in good hands – all of her kids.

Kyle tells us they bought a lot of food for camping, and now they have to burn calories. She, Teddi and LisaR run around the property; nine times is a mile. Afterward they go to Kyle’s house gym, but just sit around in it. LisaR can’t believe she had pie for breakfast. She thought she would be miserable and cold, but wasn’t. Kyle couldn’t believe the conversations, and we flash back to Camille’s revelation about the prostate. LisaR doesn’t want to stick her fingers in anyone’s butt. I’m with her there. In LisaR’s interview, she says she’s kinky, but someone has to teach you that stuff. Teddi says Camille went from that to calling her a know-it-all. More than the comment, she didn’t like the tone. Kyle says it was because of what happened at the Boy George concert. Teddi says she was just being a friend. If she feels something, she says it. If she can’t do that with someone, she won’t be friends with them. In her interview, Teddi says she’s going to Camille’s wedding. She figures she wouldn’t have been invited if Camille didn’t like her. Oh really? Did she forget she was in L.A.?

Denise is going to Miami for a job. She loves working as an actress. She’s juggling projects, and doing a TV show that’s edgy, sexy, and provocative. She tells Aaron that she’s going to try and sleep on the plane, and they’ll dress her when she gets there. In her interview, she says she loves people asking if they can get her coffee, or what she wants for breakfast. At home, she just gets a list of complaints. Being on set is a vacation. She says goodbye to Eloise. She says it’s challenging, balancing everything. There’s a lot of guilt in being a working parent. She tells Eloise that Aaron will be there. He’s just taking her to the airport, and will be back. In Denise’s interview, she gives credit to Aaron for being supportive. The girls know they can count on him, and it eases her mind.

Erika rehearses for her L.A. concert. She always wanted to headline her own tour. In her interview, she says she’s not going to sit there and be humble. She’s been dreaming of it since she was a baby. Mikey walks Erika and the dancers through the show. She says the Globe holds 900 people, and they sold it out. A lot of great energy has passed through the theater. This is where it pays off. She discusses things with her hair stylist. She’s performing in front of other performers in L.A., and says she prefers performing for strangers.

Denise stops by friend Kerry’s salon. Sami is going on her first date. In her interview, Denise says they gave in, but they’re not calling it a date. Her first date won’t be until she’s sixteen. It’s not a date, it’s a dance. There’s an effing difference. In the olden days, their mothers did their hair and makeup. In Beverly Hills, the girls have a glam squad. Denise asks Sami to put her dress on, so she can see it. In her interview, she says she’s missed a lot of things. It’s hardest thing missing beautiful moments. Sami comes out, and everyone goes, wow. It’s sparkly, pretty, and not too revealing. Denise tells her to wear sneakers, except for pictures. Denise tells her to be careful and have fun. Sami asks why she’s crying; it’s just three days. Denise feels badly that she won’t be there to see her. Sami says she’ll send pictures, and Aaron tells Sami, if she needs anything, text him. In the car, Denise tells Aaron, it’s hard being a working mom. She misses stuff.

Mikey says, glam is attacking, and they joke about Erika’s macramé hair. Tom comes by, and she tells him tonight is going to be good. Not only will it be a great show, he’ll get to see everything they’ve done. Mikey says, it’s the whole shebang; a culmination of a decade. He suggests Tom go to the VIP area, since he is. In her interview, Erika says there’s always pressure when Tom is in the audience. The show is an expensive project, and she wants him to see where all the hard work and money have gone. The most satisfying thing is her partner being her biggest cheerleader.

Kyle, Mauricio, Dorit, and PK ride together to Erika’s concert. Mauricio asks if the camping trip was fun. Kyle tells him about Camille’s revelation. In detail. More things I’ll never be able to unhear. In her interview, Kyle says PK apologized after the concert. We flash back to her telling the others about their texts. She knew he felt bad; it just took time. She’s over it and they’re good. She tells Mauricio he’ll be impressed with the concert. She’s seen Erika twice, and now this time, she’s going with her husband who’s never seen Erika perform. She’s bragged about her friend being a rock star. When they get to the theater, they order drinks and meet up with Teddi.

Aaron asks when he’s seeing Denise again. She asks if he can go four days without sex, and says they can have phone sex. He sarcastically says, that’s so much fun, and she says, it’s better than nothing. She says she’s a generous wife, and he says, that’s for sure.

Twenty minutes to show time. Mikey says the house is packed. LisaR joins the other guests. Everyone is shocked that she’s wearing hair extensions and a ponytail. In her interview, she says her hair is iconic, and we flash back to her telling Brandi (gag) the same thing at a reunion. Her goal is another hairdo. She’s working on it, but you can’t beat this. Who looks better than her in her hair? Mauricio tries to take pictures of them, but Kyle says he’s the worst photographer in the world.

Erika gets ready to go on stage. She says, when the lights are off and the music starts, she gets really turned on. She salivates. She begins with It’s Expensive to be Me, and yells the traditional, what’s up L.A.? In LisaR’s interview, she says she’s proud of Erika. Everyone is freaking out and screaming. Erika Jayne is a rock star. In Teddi’s interview, she tells us Edwin was background dancer at clubs when he was a teenager. A guy does splits on stage, and Edwin says he definitely can’t do that. Teddi doesn’t know how good his moves are, but he definitely won her over with them. Erika does PAINKILLR, and the sound goes out. Mikey wonders what to do, and Erika is pissed. Don’t get pissed after you just said how lucky you are to be living your dream. So the concert will run late. So what? It’s not like she’s Madonna. Not that I think Madonna should get pissed either. Although she probably would. Damn. You’d think Mikey would know what to do. In her interview, LisaR says, sh*t happens. You’re live, and you’ve got to just keep on going. The sound comes back, and LisaR says, that’s show biz, baby. The audience doesn’t seem like they minded.

That’s it? Two songs? I hope we just didn’t see most of it. Mikey says they blew the power at the Globe. He’s never seen L.A. freak out like that. They’re not jaded. Erika asks if Tom liked the show, and they hug. He laughs, and says, it was unbelievable. She says all she needs is Mr. Girardi to think it’s good. He’s been with her since she told him at the kitchen table she wanted to perform again. This is because of him.

The gang comes backstage. Tom says, wasn’t it fun? And LisaR is proud of him too. Look how far Erika has come. Erika joins them, and everyone applauds. She hopes everyone had fun. She says they blew the power; that’s rock and roll. Kyle tries on Erika’s sparkly red boots, but they’re too tight. The guys sit on the couch, calling themselves the Three Stooges. Teddi doesn’t trust them together. Kyle jumps on Mauricio, and Edwin asks where his straddle is. Teddi spirits him away, and the cheese PK sits alone. In her interview, LisaR says Kyle and Mauricio are in love. Add tequila, and it’s on. Various people come back to see Erika. Teddi says she tried to get Edwin to audition for the Pretty Mess tour. He says he can do this, and does a pushup move.

At Villa Rosa, we see the rarity of Giggy (!) running around. LVP calls Camille, and says she misses her. Camille misses LVP too. She says she’s doing some last minute shopping for the wedding. LVP wonders if she can stop by for a cup of tea. In Camille’s interview, she says she was disappointed that LVP wasn’t at her bridal shower, but it’s easier to keep the peace than get into it. She wants to focus on the wedding and new beginnings, not arguing. LVP tells Giggy that they have to make some tea.

Teddi and Kyle take Portia and Slate to the nail salon. In Kyle’s interview, she says when Camille asked her to be a bridesmaid, it was unexpected. When she looks at their history, they’ve gone from her calling Camille an effing liar to saying, sure I’ll be your bridesmaid. She tells Teddi that her dress hasn’t arrived. She ordered it late, and Camille said they usually take a long time. She paid for rush shipping, but she’s tall and usually need to have everything altered. She’s cut bottoms off before. We see a clip of Kyle taking scissors to a formal dress. Teddi says they need nine outfits for the weekend. First, there’s paddle boarding, then a canoe competition. Kyle doesn’t want to wear a bathing suit, and Teddi tells her it says to wear one on the itinerary. Kyle jokes that she’s tired of this abuse. In her interview, Kyle says they’re leaving in a few days, and Teddi does know it all. Teddi talks about getting back at midnight, and Slate overhears. Teddi tells Slate not to worry. She tells Kyle that Slate will cry, but Cruz is a screamer. In her interview, Teddi says her business has grown. She has over 500 clients, and met with someone she thought she might want to partner with, but then got cold feet. In her interview, she says Slate told her that she was rushing bedtime. Her kids always know. Kyle says she’s closing stores, and just have one, keeping the focus online. In Kyle’s interview, she says she’s spread herself too thin. It’s a lot. The dogs alone are a full-time job. Don’t I know that. Teddi asks Slate what mommies say. Slate says, you always come back.

Camille arrives wearing a beautiful blue teddy bear coat. She brings LVP a box of chocolates. LVP says Camille is probably on the wedding diet. In her interview, LVP says she and Camille always had a good friendship. It’s great seeing her happy. They both gush over her ring. Camille says, the girls can be awful. LVP doesn’t want to include Camille. In Camille’s interview, she says she thought the right thing to do was to invite everyone, and try to be the better person. She says she wants LVP at her wedding, but also wants her to be comfortable. She asks if LVP will come. LVP says she’s always cared about Camille, but she can’t make the wedding. In her interview, she says as much as she wants to see Camille get married, she’s not going to put herself in a position where everyone is against her. She tells Camille that she can uninvite everyone else, and they laugh. Camille wants her there, but understands, and says, no pressure. In her interview, Camille says she’s been there. She was called delusional and a liar. Maybe she has more strength than LVP, who’s running. She wishes she could make it better. She says she cares about LVP, and so does Kyle. She tells LVP that she and Teddi had a thing. She thinks she knows everything when she doesn’t understand the dynamic. She hasn’t been there that long. LVP says none of them believe her. Do they want her to take a lie detector test? Camille says she can see Kyle’s sadness, and thinks Kyle really misses LVP. LVP says she’d be sad too, if she gave up a good friend. She’s always stepped to Kyle’s side. Camille says she watched them be supportive, and we flash back to LVP telling Camille that she just misinterpreted Kyle. LVP tells Camille that Kyle said she cared more about her image than her friends. It was like Kyle hit her. In Camille’s interview, she says LVP has never been a victim, and doesn’t live her life that way, but it’s sad to see her being one. LVP asks how many times is she supposed to forgive Kyle? Camille says they have a special friendship, but LVP says they don’t. It’s done. In LVP’s interview, she thinks Kyle enjoys throwing her under the bus a little too much. Unless she apologizes, and this changes for the positive, she doesn’t want to see Kyle again.

In her interview, Camille says this is not the Lisa she knows. That one would show up, and this one is running from everyone, and hiding the truth like an immature girl. She talks the talk, but Camille wants to see her walk the walk. She tells LVP not to lose faith. In LVP’s interview, she says when you fall apart, and have success putting yourself back together without that person, you realize you can live without them. She tells Puffy, it’s so nice, she might be better off.

24 hours later. LVP takes a polygraph test. Puffy! The administrator asks if she’s ever given a story to Radar Online. She says, the thing is quite tight.

Next time, Hawaii, Kyle learns to hula, and Mauricio asks if Kyle wants another kid.

🍹 The Return of Charm…

Why Bravo decided to air the new season of Southern Charm at 8 pm, I’ll never know, but there was no way I could catch it then. The next time around was at 11:30. I’ve barely had any sleep for the past two nights, and knew doing my usual thing was an impossibility if I wanted to sleep tonight. However, I love this show so much, I couldn’t not at least watch it – and we know by the previews that Ashley will be showing up where she’s not wanted – how can I resist? So while I was doing my routine multitasking, I jotted down some highlights. It did not disappoint.

We began with Thomas being arrested, and everyone’s reactions, which mostly consisted of, I don’t want to talk about it. Whitney was coming home after an extended jaunt in Europe, and Patricia decided to throw him a dinner party. It was nice to see Michael mix martinis again, as they discussed the invite list. Patricia told him the landscape had changed, No invite for Thomas. Patricia didn’t want to even think about him. Kathryn got one, and Patricia acknowledged she’d only been hearing part of the equation. We saw what a headache motherhood is for Cameran. She was at platinum level in real estate, and now forgets to call the appraiser. She told us, there’s no way to have it all. Oddly enough, that’s what Bethenny said tonight, and I totally agree. Even Helen Gurley Brown, who wrote Having It All, didn’t have it all. Craig got his act together after playing Robinson Caruso on an island for three months. Naomie has a new boyfriend, who also trains her at the gym, which might or might not be a plus. Austen is dating Madison, Patricia’s hair stylist. While they’re still together, Madison apparently walked in on a threesome. We saw actual footage. Not of that, but her coming in on them being there. Apparently, this had been posted on social media by one of the women. Shep told Cameran that Madison had a dalliance after Austen’s stupidity, which he thought was even worse.

At the party, Craig presented a pillow he’d made in the Bahamas to Patricia. He kept saying that interacting with him was too painful for Naomie, but I sure didn’t get that vibe at all. Shep brought some youngster named Eliza who’s close with Ashley and Thomas, which didn’t go over too well. Kathryn said Eliza had also spread lies about her after Thomas was arrested. Shep said he was furious about how hot it was, confirming that, although I adore the town, I will never be moving to Charleston.

Austen chose dinner to tell Chelsea that Kathryn and Whitney had slept together during the summer. Chelsea immediately pumped Whitney for information, but he said it wasn’t true. It did seem a little suspicious that he kept looking all over the place while he talked to her, but who knows? He could have just been wondering who else was listening in. Eliza also made a total ass of herself at dinner, by suggesting Kathryn could be a surrogate, and making stupid, kind of aggressive comments to Kathryn in general.

Everyone agreed that it was strange how many girls Shep had slept with, yet he’d never gotten one of them pregnant. Cameran suggested that Shep’s sperm were much like he was; lacking motivation, having an inability to commit, and listless. Cameran, Shep, and Austen tried to school Eliza on manners, but instead of taking their advice and just telling Kathryn how good she looks, she pulled Kathryn aside, apologizing. Cameran told the others to shut up because she wanted to listen, and Shep said he wanted to die. Like the lady she is now, Kathryn pretended not to know what Eliza was talking about, said her coattails were worn out, and left with dignity. Cameran said, that went well. I can’t wait for Ashley to show up. And be escorted out.

💎 It’s Expensive To Be Her…

No explanation necessary.