Tag Archives: Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

June 4, 2019 – Ryan Makes a Decision, a Wrong Supposition, Kyle Plans a Trip, Losing LVP, Another 90 & Provence

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Carly tells Sonny that she just saw her first firefly. I’m baffled, thinking she means the first ever, but she means this season. She asks if he remembers when Morgan would try to get them to follow him in. Sonny says, he didn’t want to catch them, and wanted them to follow him. That way, they could be friends. She says, he loved this time of year; school ending, and summer on the way. Sonny says, he’d leave the house, and not come back until dinner. She says, Josslyn is the same way, but not this year. There’s no excitement, no smile, no laughter. She doesn’t know what to do about it. Josslyn comes in with her guitar, and says she took an online lesson. She’s trying to build on the chords Oscar was teaching her. She plays for them.

In Tanzania, Drew comes to Kim’s room with Oscar’s ashes. He didn’t know if she wanted them in his room or hers. She downs some coffee, and he asks if she thinks that’s a good idea. They have a long hard climb ahead. She says she’ll be ready. He tells her Kilimanjaro is the biggest mountain in Africa. She says she doesn’t want to sleep.

TJ tells Jordan that he can’t believe that bastard won’t give her a kidney. Instead, he’s giving her a death sentence. She says she wants him to forgive Ryan – and forgive her.

Someone puts an injection into a sleeping Ryan’s IV. The machine starts beeping, and he wakes up. He begins to have a seizure.

Curtis sits in the waiting area. Stella sees him, and says she takes it Ryan refuses save Jordan.

Elizabeth and Finn run into Ryan’s room. Elizabeth says he’s seizing. Finn holds Ryan, asking if he okay. He asks if Ryan can hear him, and says he had a seizure. He says, don’t try talk. They’re going to take some tests to find out why it happened, and prevent it from happening again. Ryan says he’s going to die.

In a hallway, Franco takes off a pair of surgical gloves, and tosses them in the trash. Cameron asks when he became a doctor. He’s wondering what Franco needs gloves for.

Drew asks Kim, what’s wrong, aside from having to scatter Oscar’s ashes? Why doesn’t she want to sleep? She says, because when she sleeps, she dreams Oscar is still alive. It’s so real that she wakes up, and goes into his bedroom, fully expecting to see him there, and he’s not. So she’d rather stay awake. Even as much agony as it is, it’s better than losing him over and over again.

Carly loves that Josslyn is making good use of Oscar’s guitar. Josslyn says she wanted to learn before Oscar died. He was in the middle of teaching her, but she’d get impatient, and ask him to play instead. They never got very far. Sonny says she’s a natural, and they’ll get her lessons after she finishes school. She says she’d like that. She’s supposed to make plans and keep moving. Carly tells her to feel whatever she’s feeling, and come to them when she needs help. Sonny says, it will take a while to get on track. Josslyn keeps thinking about Oscar’s final words. He told her everything would be all right; that she would be all right, and she promised him that she would be Carly says she’ll get there. Take it day by day, and somehow remember to breathe. Josslyn doesn’t want to breathe. She doesn’t want to be dead, but it’s hard. She’ll do it for Oscar, and for everyone who’s supporting her. Carly feels the baby move, and asks Josslyn if she wants to feel her little brother or sister. Josslyn puts her hand on Carly’s stomach, and says she can feel it. They all smile.

Josslyn says, amazing, and a little weird. There’s a person inside Carly’s body. She asks what it feels like, and Carly says like she swallowed a bunch of butterflies. Josslyn says, stuff just got real. There’s a little life in there. Sonny says it scares him to death. There’s a little person waiting to be born, who needs to be loved and protected. He doesn’t want to fail. It’s the most beautiful thing in the world, and the most terrifying thing in the world. Carly says, true. Having a baby is crazy. Sonny says, a reminder that life goes on.

Franco tells Cameron that he was using acetone to clean up some paint. It eats at the skin. Cameron says it sounds nasty, and Franco says, cleaning up is nasty business, which is an interesting choice of words. He asks how Cameron is doing, and Cameron says, with? Franco says, Oscar’s death. He must miss his friend. Cameron says if he wants to talk about Oscar, or anything, he’ll Franco know. He leaves, and Elizabeth comes out. She tells Franco that Ryan had a seizure, and is getting tests. Franco says, good. He hopes that’s the end of him.

TJ asks what Jordan did that needs forgiveness. She says she tries not to dwell on what she’d do differently, but she’s sorry for the time she missed with him.

Stella tells Curtis that she’ll talk to Ryan, but he says, leave it be. She says she most certainly will not. He says he doesn’t want her in the same room with that twisted freak. She says if he’s going to tell her that he thinks Ryan will manipulate her, she just might be offended.

Josslyn asks how she’s supposed to not think about Oscar, and get used to him not being there. Carly says, you never get used to the absence of someone you love. You just kind of grow around it. Other people come into your life, and take up space in your heart, and one day you find yourself surrounded by friends and family. You look up, and realize you didn’t think about the loss for just a minute. You were able to let go. That minute stretches to another minute, then an hour. The hole in your heart is still there; it just aches little less. Sonny tells her to keep Oscar’s memory tucked away, and eventually it will be a comfort. He promises. Carly says, until then, her family will be there for her. They’ll always take care of her. She holds Josslyn.

Kim tells Drew that she knew losing Oscar would be the most painful experience of her life. The most unimaginable pain. She didn’t know how to prepare for it. She’s not a person who likes to be caught off guard. She’s a doctor, and like procedure and facts, but it’s not about her being doctor. She’s a mother who lost her son. Drew sits next to her, and she says she doesn’t know how to feel from one moment to the next. She doesn’t know if she’ll burst out in tears when she’s pumping gas, or come across Oscar’s coat in the hall closet and smile. (While I’ve never lost a child, I can totally identify with this.) She doesn’t know how she’s going to do this. How is she going to make the journey up the mountain to scatter their son’s ashes. Drew says he’ll tell her how; because she’s a great mother. She says she thought it would help, but she doesn’t know what do with it, or how say goodbye for last time to her only child. Drew doesn’t think you ever say goodbye, but he makes her a promise. As long as he’s alive, she doesn’t have to do it alone. They hug.

Elizabeth tells Franco the alarms went off, and she couldn’t help think it’s what Ryan deserves. He doesn’t know how she manages to be a kind and healing nurse. She says, it’s her job. She spent time with Jordan earlier, and thanked her for Franco’s award. He says it still blows him away. As sick as Jordan is, she found the energy to acknowledge him. Elizabeth says he did something heroic, but he says he didn’t volunteer, and was pretty much bitching the whole time. He’s glad Jordan coerced him though. Sometimes the end justifies the means.

Curtis says he appreciates Stella trying, but it won’t do no good. She asks how he knows. He says they’re going to fight with everything they have. Stella says he’s done everything he can and more. Let her have a go. Finn approaches them, and says he has news about Ryan.

TJ understands what Jordan had do and why. It’s not a pretty story, but somehow through it all, her, him, Curtis, and Aunt Stella are a family. Jordan thanks him, and he says he can’t lose her. He wants her to see him become a doctor and hold her grandbabies. He wants to make her proud. She hugs him, and says, he has. a million times over. There’s a knock at the door, and Finn, Stella and Curtis come in. Finn says he has something to tell them about Ryan.

Josslyn practices on the terrace. Cameron comes out, and says she’s getting better. When she builds up calluses, it will be easier. She calls him Mr. Stealth Guitar Player, and asks when he started playing. He tells her, seventh grade. He had detention, and the teacher said it would be in both their interests to keep him occupied, and keep his fingers busy. So he taught Cameron guitar. Josslyn asks why he never told anyone, and he says he didn’t think it fit his image. The teacher gave him the guitar at the end of the year, and he’s been playing ever since. He didn’t get serious until… Josslyn says, Oscar got sick. Cameron says, music can let you say things you don’t have the words to say.

Finn says Ryan’s seizure turned out to be an allergic reaction to one of his medications. Stella asks if Ryan’s kidney is still good, and Finn says it is. Ryan is conscious now, and came back charming as ever. Jordan asks if Ryan is under guard, and Finn says he can’t hurt anyone. Curtis says he’s going to get Jordan a kidney.

Elisabeth asks where Franco went earlier, and he says, Kiki’s grave. Today would have been her birthday. She says, if she’d known, she would have gone with him, but he says it was spur of the moment. He thought with Ryan in custody, he could find serenity and a way to accept what happened. She asks if he did, but he says, not at all. Ava was there, and talking to her made him realize how much rage he still has about all of it. Kiki had so much to live for; so much to give. The only value Ryan has is to maybe help save Jordan’s life.

TJ approaches Ryan’s room, where Valerie stands guard. She says he’s wasting his time. TJ says Ryan is the only one who can save his mom. Valerie can argue with him, or wish him luck. She says, good luck, and he goes in. Ryan asks if he’s come to see the wounded animal, and revel in his suffering. TJ says nothing, and Ryan says, no. He’s here for the most mundane reason of all; to beg for his mother’s life. Save it. He’s heard it all. Outside the room, Stella asks Valerie if TJ is in with him. Valerie says she tried talking him out of it, but he was determined. Stella says TJ is a wonderful young man, but he’s no match for that filth. Valerie asks if Stella thinks she is, and Stella says, watch her. Ryan says, kid, listen. Nothing less than his unconditional release and subsequent freedom will convince him to give up a kidney. Not him, his mom, not even the Mother of Dragons. It’s useless. Stella says, listen to him with his posturing attitude, ranting and raving. She tells him that he won’t be getting any rest tonight. She’s not leaving his room until Jordan gets his kidney, one way or another.

Cameron tells Josslyn that he knows the kids at school are weird, but it will stop. She says, it’s not that. She just had a deep conversation about Oscar with Sonny and her mom. She got to feel the baby move, and it was pretty cool. Cameron says, sounds good. She says she was all, life goes on, but felt like she was outside of her body, watching herself pretend be a functioning person who will someday be okay. She wasn’t lying to herself, but she doesn’t feel that way. She doesn’t want to be okay. She doesn’t want to stop thinking about Oscar, because that would be like losing him all over again.

Sonny and Carly go to Morgan’s grave. Sonny says, the first lilac of the summer. Morgan loved it because he knew summer was coming soon. Carly wishes Morgan was there. He was a great big brother. Josslyn puts up a good front, but she doesn’t want to hover. Josslyn hates it as much as Morgan did. Sonny says they know deep inside, there’s a lot of pain. Carly says Morgan could always get Josslyn to open up and be herself. She had that with Oscar too. Sonny brushes leaves from the tombstone, and says Morgan would have liked Oscar. Keep an eye out for him up there. He’s gonna need a pal.

Ryan says, the dreaded social worker. Please spare him the bleeding heart. Stella doesn’t give a flip if he mocks her. She’s a believer. He says, in what? and she says, in a higher power. A higher power we sometimes appreciate, and sometimes beg for mercy. A higher power we sometimes question, and sometimes curse. Curtis and TJ don’t understand how the stars have aligned to spare Ryan’s life and not Jordan’s. He says, only the good die young? She says he’s cheated death a few times, and it was all leading to this moment. All the horrible acts he’s perpetrated, all the victims he’s killed and damaged; every move he’s ever made, brought him to this pivotal moment. Nothing could kill him. Does he know why? He has the feeling she’s going to tell him. She says he’s obsessed with himself. He can’t bear the thought of ceasing to exist. He’s tenacious; holding on to life. If he refuses, ignores fate, and doesn’t do what cosmic forces are telling him, those forces will come together and painfully kill him. He’ll take his final breath and go straight to hell. No more quests for victims or chasing after Ava. Give up his kidney and live, or withhold it and die. The choice is his. Wow. Not what I expected.

Jordan tells Curtis the moments with him and TJ have been the happiest moments of her life. She’s happy they moved there. Curtis feels the same way. Jordan says she wanted to get her affairs in order, but she doesn’t need to. Curtis can take care of everything. He tells her, don’t give up, but she says she doesn’t have much choice. Her body can’t keep going. She loves him, and will die loving him. He says he loves her, and always will. Jordan wants him to pick up the pieces and go on living. He’ll find someone else. He says, don’t talk like that; he’s not hearing it. TJ runs in, and tells them, Ryan said yes. He’s giving Jordan his kidney. Stella got through to him. Curtis says he’d better find out. It might be a cruel joke. He leaves, and TJ tells Jordan, it’s going to be okay.

Finn asks if Ryan is consenting. Ryan says, don’t get any ideas. He’s not doing it because of Stella’s nonsense about fate and a higher power. He just wants to get her to shut up. She says, whatever works. He says, surgery without anesthesia would be less tortuous, and Finn asks if he’d like to forego the anesthesia. Ryan says, it’s called hyperbole. If he signs the forms, and he never wants to see her again. Stella says, fine with her. He says she’s the most annoying person he’s ever crossed paths with. Curtis and Stella hug.

Valerie tells Stella she was right. Ryan was no match for her. Stella tells her, don’t say that until he signs. Finn gives him the papers, and Curtis says, let’s get this ball rolling, handing Ryan a pen.

Drew tells Kim to get some sleep. He’ll be right next door. She asks if he really thinks Oscar is on the mountain. He says he can’t believe a spirit like Oscar’s could just be gone. He’s out there somewhere; wherever he wants to be. She wants to see him one more time, and know he’s okay. Her good, sweet boy out there. Drew says that’s why they’re there. All she has to do is believe.

Josslyn tells Cameron that she was thinking at the Nurses Ball. When her voice was getting thin, and she thought she’d have to stop, she looked at the crowd, and Oscar was there. He helped her through. Cameron says, amazing. He could tell Josslyn was thinking about him. Josslyn says her mom and Sonny tell her, in time, the ache will be less, and she’ll grow around Oscar’s absence. What if she doesn’t want to? No one is asking her to forget, but she doesn’t want to feel better, move on, or get over Oscar. She wants to remember how he was and is. She tells Cameron, look! Fireflies!

Sonny tells Morgan, in the middle of everything, they got incredible news. No one can take his place, but they have a new baby coming into the family. Carly says they’re going to tell the baby all about him. Sonny says, maybe the fireflies will come around and light the place up. Carly says, look! There they are!

Josslyn catches a firefly, and tells Cameron, Oscar said if you catch the last firefly of the season, and make a wish, it will come true. Maybe it works for the first one too. Cameron covers her hands with his own. She closes her eyes, and says, okay. She lets it go, and they watch. Josslyn says when she first did this with Oscar, she wished they’d fall in love, and it came true. How lucky is she? Cameron smiles.

Ryan asks if Finn realizes the most loathed man in Port Charles is about to sign a paper that says they can put him under and remove a vital organ. He’ll be vulnerable, and he wouldn’t put it past them to mess with his anesthesia. Finn says he’ll be treated with the same care and respect as every other patient. Stella says she’ll speak up for him at his sentencing. He has her word. They wait, and he finally signs, surprising us all. He throws the pen down, and everyone breathes a sigh of relief.

Tomorrow, Willow tells Chase it’s not possible, Michael says they have to be willing to do anything to get Shiloh, Harmony visits Shiloh, and Sonny tells Jason to take Shiloh’s word for it if Jason won’t take his. In other words, lots of Shiloh tomorrow.

The Haves and The Have Nots

When we last left, David was identifying what he thought to be Jeffrey’s body, and Veronica was surprised to see someone.

David says, it’s not him; it’s not his son. Madison says, no, it’s not. David gets pissed at Madison, who says the call was from that address. He’s sorry. David says he’s fired, and stomps off. Madison cries on Tisha’s shoulder.

The door opens, and Veronica sees Jeffrey. After she gets over the initial shock, she says he’s leaving there. Justin says, it was just a joke. Jeffrey tells Justin not to talk to him. Shooting a gun with a blank isn’t a joke. Jeffrey walks off, and Veronica tells Justin that Jeffrey is leaving him. Justin says, shut your mouth, bitch. She’s already taken everything from him. She says he still has his life, and Justin says, it’s nothing without Jeffrey. She says she’ll remember that. Go back in your house, girl. Justin slams the door.

Veronica follows Jeffrey to the parking lot, where she has his car blocked. A woman asks Veronica to move her car. Veronica ignores her, and says Jeffrey needs to talk to her. The woman keeps asking Veronica to move her car, and Veronica gets in her face, telling her, shut up, bitch. The woman says she’ll call building security, and Veronica says, please do. Jeffrey tells Veronica to stop blocking his car, but she says she just wants to talk to him. She asks if that boy put a gun to him and pulled the trigger, and Jeffrey says, yes. She says she and his father thought he was dead. What the hell is happening? He says, what’s happening is her moving her car. She says she’s not moving it until she’s finished, and he says they’ll stand there all day then.

The woman brings Justin over, and points out Veronica. Echoing my thoughts, Veronica says this is their security officer? Justin says he’s an officer of law. She laughs, and says he’s got to be fired. He tells her to move her car, but she says she’s not done talking to her son. Justin says her son doesn’t want to talk to her. Veronica asks if he’s been reduced to a remedial cop now. The woman tells Justin that they should call the police, and he says he is the police. Veronica says, used to be. She calls Justin a little bitch, and he cracks her across the face, asking, who’s the little bitch now? Jeffrey steps in, and Justin slams him up against a car. Veronica beats on Justin with her bag, and the woman says she’s calling the real police. Jeffrey gets Justin in a choke hold, and David shows up. He asks, what the hell is going on? and separates them.

Veronica tells David, that thing hit her. He asks if Jeffrey is all right, and Veronica says she was the one who was hit. David tells her to stop it and calm down. Jeffrey says she wouldn’t move her car. Veronica says that boy hit her and David’s precious son, and Jeffrey let him do it. Jeffrey says he didn’t. Veronica wishes Justin had killed Jeffrey’s ass. Jeffrey can’t believe what she said, and she says it slapped her, and Jeffrey took his sweet time intervening. She can beat Justin better than Jeffrey. David tells her again to calm down, and she says he’s on this queen’s side. It doesn’t matter what happened to her; just like before. She says they can all kiss her ass, and gets in her car. She points at Justin and says, you, little girl hit the wrong bitch. You’ll see.

David asks, what happened? Justin says, his son, and David says get out of his face. Justin says David should pay him for slapping that bitch, since he can’t. Jeffrey tells Justin to go, and Justin says Jeffrey’s whole family is screwed up. Like Jeffrey doesn’t know this already. David says they thought Jeffrey was shot. He can’t see that boy again. Jeffrey says, but David can see Veronica. David says, that boy is deadly, and Jeffrey says, and mom isn’t? Jeffrey is forcing his hand. He asks Jeffrey to come home, and Jeffrey says he’ll get his things. He’s not staying there, but he’s not staying with David either. David says he can’t tell Jeffrey what’s going on with Veronica, but it’s not what he thinks. Meet him at home, and he’ll explain. Jeffrey relents, and says he’ll be there.

Wyatt paces in his room. He looks out, and sees RK coming back with the car – and the coke. RK gets out of the car, and does a little dance. Wyatt asks where the hell he’s been, and RK says, around. Wyatt tells him, throw the stuff up, but RK says, throw the money down. RK decides to knock on door, and see if anyone is home. He knocks and Wyatt flies down the stairs, yelling, he’s got it. Jim says he’ll get it. RK comes in, and Jim asks if he just walked in. RK took his wife’s car. RK says he did, but she said he could. Jim tells RK that he said he couldn’t. How did he get the keys. RK points to Wyatt, and says, his boy. Jim asks why Wyatt did that, and RK echoes, yeah, why? Jim tells him, shut up and get the hell out of his house. Wyatt says he’s stuck there, and wants RK to hang out. Jim tells RK to give him the keys and get out. Wyatt jets back upstairs.

Wyatt says goes back out on the balcony, and tells RK he’s got the money. RJ says he ain’t doing this with him, but Wyatt says he has a watch worth six grand. RK tells him, get it, and Wyatt goes into Kathryn’s room. He takes the watch, and tosses it down. He tells RK, throw it up. RK says, no, and starts to walk away. He turns back, saying he was just messing with Wyatt, and tosses the bag up. Nice catch. Wyatt says, this is it? RK says give him more jewelry, and he’ll get more product. He works at he Artisian; call him there.

The Presidential motorcade pulls up at Charles’s house mansion. He tells Candace he’ll show her around. She’s impressed, and says, it’s modern classic. She wouldn’t have figured it. He says that’s him too. She sees a picture of his wife, and says she was beautiful. He thanks her, and asks if she wants a drink. Candace says, wine, if he has it, and he pours a glass of red for both of them. She marvels over the art, and Charles tells her that his wife painted them. She says, he misses her; he says her name in his sleep. He says, like what she does with her son, and she says they’re both in the same boat. He guesses they are, and she says, it’s good they have each other. He says, exactly right, and thanks her for being there. She says for the first time in her life, she feels like she can breathe. He says that makes two of them… since his wife died. He doesn’t want to lose her, and she says she’s not going anywhere. He says, it’s not going to be easy. She says they have each other. He tells her that he’s just getting a few personal things for him and the kids, and she asks if she can help. He says he’ll show her the rooms.

Back at the hotel, Scott places the drink order that’s code for ordering a prostitute. RK says the drink doesn’t sound appealing (and it doesn’t), but Scott says it’s what he likes. He’s tired, horny, and thirsty. RK says the hotel can help him with being tired, and he can help with thirsty, but horny he doesn’t know. Scott says he must know the spots, and RK tells him to talk to Rocky. Scott says, what if he wanted a threesome or foursome? RK says he’s heard of those things being arranged, and gets Scott’s room number. He asks if he should bill it to the room, but Scott says he has ten grand, and wants RK, Rocky, and some random woman he points out, to come to the room. RK says, two guys and a girl? Scott asks if he didn’t say he was a freak. RK says give him an hour.

RK goes behind the bar, and tells Rocky that he was offered ten grand. Rocky says, to do what? and RK says, to get with the two of them and her. Rocky says she’s not a working girl, but RK says, don’t worry about that. He’s going to rob the dude’s ass. Rocky says the guy looks smart, and RK says, not to him. It doesn’t matter. Rocky thinks they should go together. RK tells him to ask Broderick to cover the bar. Broderick, who I again was calling Roderick. I’m not sure what’s wrong with me and names, but it happens IRL too. I wish everyone would just wear name tags. Rocky says, let’s make some money.

Rocky tells Broderick, it looks like they got an easy ten grand. A guy wants him and RK, and a girl. Will he watch the bar? Broderick says, sure, and Rocky asks what’s up with him? Broderick says, nothing, but Rocky says it’s written on his face. It’s Kathryn, isn’t it? Is she still all over him like cheap suit? Broderick says she’s not why he’s upset, and tells Rocky, take care of business.

Jeffrey pulls up to David’s house mansion. Madison is sitting outside, and Jeffrey asks why he’s out there. Madison says he came to get his things. David fired him. Jeffrey asks what did he do? and Madison says he made a mistake. They got a call about a gunshot victim, and Madison thought it was Jeffrey, since it was on the same street as Justin’s place. He’s sorry. Jeffrey says it could have been him. Justin pulled a gun on him. He had two guns; one on Jeffrey, and one on himself. He said one gun had a real bullet, and the other had a blank. Justin likes playing games. He actually pulled the trigger, and almost blew out Jeffrey’s eardrum. Madison asks if Jeffrey wants him to look at it, but Jeffrey says he’s fine. Madison says, it’s serious. If he doesn’t see Jeffrey again, he can’t let Justin do this. Jeffrey says he knows it, and hears enough from his parents. He says his dad should be behind him, and lets Madison in.

Madison says he’s sorry. Jeffrey says he is too, and Madison says they could have been good together. Jeffrey says Madison doesn’t even know him, but Madison says he’s seen enough to know Jeffrey goes for troubled guys. He’s punishing himself. Jeffrey repeats that Madison doesn’t know him, and he has actually studied this. Madison says, it’s always the student who can’t see, and Jeffrey tells him, get his stuff. Madison reminds Jeffrey to get on his dad about changing the bandages, and keeping his wounds dry, and goes upstairs.

Jim calls Lloyd. He needs $75K, cash, and he’s picking it up today. Lloyd says, well.. He doesn’t have it in his account. Jim says they, but Lloyd says he’s had strict instructions from Jim’s wife. She won’t give him any money. Jim asks how much is in his account, and Lloyd says, $3400. Jim asks if Kathryn knows, and says not to tell her. He’s waiting for an $8 million transfer. He’ll call when it gets there.

Outside the kitchen, Kathryn says she’s called three times. Call her back. Jim asks who’s not calling her back, and Kathryn asks what he did. He says, nothing, and she asks if he didn’t threaten Broderick. He says he didn’t have to. Broderick isn’t interested in her. She says he seems to be, and Jim says she’s going to get her ass sued. Contrary to popular belief, sexual harassment works both ways. She tells him to go find something to do. He says he could find someone to do, but she’s out of town. Jim tells her that he needs $75K in cash, and she says that’s his problem. He says it sounds like it’s their problem. If the money doesn’t get to the Malones by the end of the day, they’ll put a hit out on their son. Kathryn asks, what kind of hit? and he says, how many kinds are there? They’ll kill him. Does she think he’s talking about a hit record? Kathryn says Wyatt bought that much in drugs? Jim says, no; they’re saying it’s for pain and suffering. She says, give it to them, and he says he doesn’t have it. He needs her to call Lloyd. She asks why she should. He says, would she like to bury another child? She says, that’s not fair, and he says, call and get the money.

Kathryn calls, and makes small talk with Lloyd. She tells him that she needs $75K cash. She’ll send her errand boy to pick it up. Lloyd might know him. His name is Jim. She tells Lloyd not to say that about Jim, and laughs. When she’s done, Jim asks if that was so difficult. She says, it better be for Wyatt, and he says, who else? She says, one of his whores, but he says, her whores are the ones currently charging those rates. Last night’s wore took her car. She says, it’s back, isn’t it? He says she’s some piece of work, and she says he’s some piece of sh*t.

Scott tells the Attorney General that he was right. The AG asks what Scott found, and Scott gives him a folder. The AG says, he knew it. Scott asks if he was robbed at gunpoint, and the AG says, something like that. Scott says the Artisian keeps security records. The head of security is ex-military, and runs it like it’s war time. He got the tapes, and also got this. He gives the AG another folder. It shows the time the AG spent in Candace’s room. The AG says, it’s perfect. Scott shows him Jim’s picture, saying he’s a judge who was running for governor, but was disgraced by his mistress. She blackmailed him for a lot of money. Her name was Candace Young. The AG says, it gets better and better. He tells Scott, set up a discreet meeting. Scott says, that could backfire, but the AG says, this man is his kind of guy.

Veronica goes to the station. For a second, I think the desk sergeant is Rick (If Loving You Is Wrong), but it’s not. Veronica says she’s been assaulted. He tells her to fill out the paperwork, but she says she just wants him arrested. It’s Officer Justin Lewis. The sergeant says, okay. She says she wants him picked up. He was harassing her son, and when she stepped in to help out, he hit her. She shows him the mark on her face, but he doesn’t see it. She tells him, look closer, and he says he needs the paperwork. She pulls the restraining order out of her bag, and says she also has a lawsuit against him. And in the event of his death, a lawsuit against his estate, his wife, and his children. If he doesn’t have Justin picked up now, his job is on the line. She asks if he’s new, and he says he is. She tells him, get someone experienced who can handle this, and he says okay, probably desperate to get rid of her.

The Chief comes out, and Veronica tells him what happened, and says to let her know when Justin is in custody. He says, it doesn’t work that way. She says wants Justin arrested, now. The Chief wants to know what he did, and she shows him an affidavit. He looks at it, and says, okay. They’ll pick Justin up. Veronica asks what jail he’ll be taken to, and the Chief says, this one. She says they can call her when Justin gets there, but he says, that’s not protocol. She says she’s not their average bitch, and he says, okay. Because by now, he’s been sufficiently terrorized enough to just say okay to anything.

Veronica makes a call. She tells someone she wants him and five others to get themselves arrested in Precinct 11. She tells him to find some friends who like to rape and maim. He needs to do it quickly. She’ll give them $5K to split. She tells him to get arrested now.

Hanna and Benny go to the bank. The officer says she still has their signatures, and leaves to get the paperwork for Benny. Benny starts to talk, but Hanna says, nothing out of his mouth. They’re giving the money back. The officer returns, and Benny signs the papers. Hanna says they want to transfer everything except $20K. The officer looks at the account, and asks how much she thinks is in there. Hanna says $8 million, plus interest. The officer says, sorry, but the account is overdrawn by $4K. There’s no money in the account. Hanna looks at Benny, and says, his damn sister.

Next time, Charles says if the story hits and Landon can’t spin it, he’s fired; Justin gets arrested, and Veronica tells him that she bets he thinks twice before hitting a woman again; Jeffrey tells David, maybe death is better than being in this family.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

We see clips of the wildfires in California. Kyle, Teddi, and LisaR are in a car on the phone with Camille, then Denise. Camille is under mandatory evacuation. Denise thinks her house might be burning down.

Five days earlier. Dorit is choosing girls for a photo shoot. Kyle fixes Portia’s hair. Teddi gives Slade a riding lesson.

Erika meets LisaR for Mexican food. Erica compliments LisaR on her CVLUX cover. LisaR says it was a fun shoot. She asks if Erika had fun at the party, and Erika says she had the best time ever watching LisaR. We flash back to them on the Ferris wheel. In her interview, Erika says she loves that LisaR came to Farrahween as Erika at Coachella. When you’re a Halloween costume, you’ve made it. I have to agree with that. LisaE says she and Kim have moved on from their feud. In LisaR’s interview, she says she always liked Kim, and it’s time for the healing to take place. She tells Erika that she’s totally cool if someone says something negative to her face, but Camille says one thing to them, then talks behind their backs. Hmm… Isn’t she doing the same thing right now? Erika says Teddi told her what happened in the van. LisaR says Camille said a couple of things about Dorit that weren’t lovely, and said some things about Teddi to Denise. In Erika’s interview, she says she understands they’re frustrated with camille. They’ve gone to her events, and they’re feeling betrayed. Erika says Camille has a beef with pretty much everyone. LisaR says, she doesn’t know she has a beef with Dorit, and Erika says, but she’s about to.

Dorit talks the models through the shoot. She’s so excited and proud of her line growing, and becoming something she’s proud of. In her interview, she says, today is important. They’re shooting footage for a Kitson window display. I’m confused, since I thought Kitson went out of business. She says, it’s an incredible honor, and she wants to nail it. PK brings the kids to the shoot, and she tells Jagger that he needs to help mommy sell boys shorts. Jagger poses for pictures solo, and then with other models. Dorit’s assistant, Kimberly, forgot some pieces. In her interview, Dorit says she’s done a ton of photo shoots, and never remembers a time when something didn’t go wrong. It’s important for everything to be perfect. A lot of time, money, and effort goes into it, to make it go without a hitch. They have to make the most and best of the situation. They do a final shot of all the models together with Jagger. Everyone applauds.

Kyle’s dogs are out of control, and she runs out after them. She wonders why they can’t behave. She calls Marlena from Hosted Villas about a Chateau Ventoux in Provence. She says she’s thinking of bringing girlfriends, and wants to check dates. In her interview, she says they’ve been doing a lot of trips, and she saw the chateau is a Vogue article about Provence. She thought it was perfect. She asks Marlena about the staff, and asks if they can have a chef. She thinks it sounds amazing, and says she’ll call back after she confirms with the other girls.

She calls the others to lock down a date. In Kyle’s interview, she says the Bahamas was fun, but tense. The camping trip was really fun, but not glamorous. She wants go somewhere fun, chic, and exiting, where they can relax and bond. Teddi tells Kyle that she’s 99% sure she can go, but wants to run it by her husband. Kyle says maybe she should do that too.

Harry gets ready to grill. LisaR says it’s hard to keep track which daughter is vegetarian. In her interview, she says more than anything she loves having the whole family home. Lately, Harry has either been in Canada or camping, and the girls have been traveling. When she’s alone, she comes up with things to entertain herself. We see her bouncing around on Instagram. Harry is trying to hunt down the cheese he bought. Amelia pretends she knows nothing about it, but tells Delilah and LisaR that she ate it. In LisaR’s interview, she says Amelia has issues with food. We flash back to Amelia talking about anorexia. LisaR says it’s two steps forward, and one back. It’s not easy, and they do it one day at a time. She wants to fix it, and make it go away. You don’t want to see your child in pain. She asks Amelia to have a little something, and Amelia says she’s even allergic to corn. LisaR wonders if Amelia is going to have this forever. Amelia insists she’s not hungry. LisaR says she loves Harry, but the veggie burger tastes like rubber.

Harry says maybe Amelia doesn’t want to eat, but he’s having dessert. Amelia gives him the finger behind his back. In LisaR’s interview, she says maybe they did something; she doesn’t know, but it’s hard to watch Amelia be in pain. Amelia asks if it makes Harry angry that she’s not eating his food. If so, they have to work through it. She says the energy is effed up, and asks why he’s so passive aggressive. LisaR says he fathered these children. He says he doesn’t think he’s responsible for their behavior, and thinks she’s responsible. Me too, and it’s no surprise he’s never around.

The women get together for a lunch. Kyle shows them photos from the party. LisaR says it took a long time to get out of Erika Jayne. In Kyle’s interview, she says things were rough between Kim and LisaR before the party. She thinks LisaR was using Erika’s persona to speak rudely to her sister. She doesn’t want to say anything right now, but thinks it’s complete bullsh*t. Dorit talks about the photo shoot, and says she’s doing the Kitson window. She’s super excited. She says she spoke to PK, who’s in London, and he told her to go on the trip. LisaR says Harry told her to go. I’ll bet he did.

Erika arrives last, and asks, what’s happening? Kyle says she closed her store, and felt so bad, she started bawling. She opened seven years ago. In her interview, she says seeing her name on a corner she drove by her entire life felt exciting. We flash back to the opening. She says the rent in Beverly Hills is through the roof. Because of that, combined with more people shopping online, it didn’t make sense to stay open. LisaR says, it’s sad, and agrees about the rent. In her interview, LisaR says when she had a store, she and Harry were relying on it as income, so they were in a more precarious position. Luckily, Kyle is in a position where Mauricio is doing well, and she’ll be fine.

Kyle shows them the chateau website on her phone. Erika says she’s been to Provence, but nothing like this. In her interview, LisaR says she likes a hotel with her own room, where she can escape if she needs to, but she’s open to it. She likes the word chateau. In Erika’s interview, she says, the house is beautiful, and it’s the French countryside; no need for glam.

LisaR asks if Camille is coming. Kyle says she left a message. Dorit asks LisaR what Camille said, but LisaR says it’s not her place. She says she can tell Camille that she thinks she should talk to Dorit. Kyle thinks LisaR should just let them know. I think this should be an all or nothing situation. LisaR should have either kept her damn mouth shut about it, or told Dorit everything. To me, it’s nasty to tell someone that a friend is talking about them, but not what was said. It’s not fair to just leave them hanging and imagining what it must be. In LisaR’s interview, she says that if she hadn’t been mad at Camille, she wouldn’t have said anything. That’s nasty to. Point proved. We flash back to LisaR telling Dorit that Camille was talking about her. She says she doesn’t want to hurt Dorit’s feelings. Kyle says if Camille is pretending to be nice, yet saying nasty things behind Dorit’s back, LisaR has to tell her. Dorit thinks it’s scary that Camille is acting nice, but might have residual feelings from their past altercation. Teddi says wait until LVP hears what Camille said about her teeth. We flash back to Camille saying LVP needs dental work. Teddi says it didn’t please her to hear Camille say that, even though she and LVP are not on the best terms. Kyle says you wonder what the person is saying about you.

Camille talks to a friend whose name I don’t catch, but we’ve seen before. Camille thought the wedding was perfect, and couldn’t be more thrilled. In her interview, she says it’s a great feeling, having a life partner. She missed the love and family part of being married. The friend says Teddi was odd at the airport, and in Camille’s interview, she explains that when they were leaving, her daughter said hi to Teddi, who snubbed her. Mason felt bad, and that’s when her mommy claws come out. She tells the friend that she doesn’t like how Teddi is acting toward her. She’s gotten too big for her britches. She’s been taking jabs at Camille, wanting her to pick a side with the LVP thing. She’s been around LVP and Kyle a long time, and sees LVP’s point of view, but feels for Kyle. She knows the dynamic, and LVP has been there for both her and Kyle. Camille wants to bring it up, but doesn’t think Teddi can take criticism. Yet she’s an accountability coach. Go figure.

Denise asks Kyle if Camille is invited, and Kyle says, of course. In her interview, Kyle says she and Camille aren’t on the best terms, but to not invite her is making a statement.

Denise goes to a restaurant. We already know she’s meeting Brandi (bleh), although they try to surprise us. Brandi arrives, and says dumbass stuff. In her interview, Denise says a mutual friend introduced her and Brandi. They went to dinner, and hit it off. She thinks Brandi is crazy fun, and likes her. Brandi says they have a lot in common. In Brandi’s interview – where she looks like a horror show – she says she and Denise have been through the wringer together with public divorces. What you see is what you get. Period. No bullsh*t. Denise is just like her. Maybe in that way, but no. Denise is actually a kind person. Brandi is not. I’m sure some past thing is why she lashes out, but she refuses to recognize that, so pfft! Brandi says she saw Denise’s Instagram pictures wits Patrick, and asks how her husband is handling it. Denise says, he’s so supportive and fine with it. Brandi says, it’s fine until it’s not. Denise says, if it was her, she wouldn’t like it. We flash back to a reunion where Brandi talked about slitting Eddie’s tires. Brandi tells Denise about some dude named Casamigos, who says she hit him in the face. She might have slapped a pretty, older English woman in the face once, but not slapping dudes in face. Classless as ever; another thing Denise is not. Brandi says wasn’t even there. Denise tells Brandi about some story the women think LVP planted with Radar Online. She says she doesn’t know LVP well enough to know if she leaked it. Brandi says, of course she leaked it. In Brandi’s interview, she says she and LVP were best friends for five years. We flash back to that time. Giggy! Brandi tells Denise, whatever LVP wants out there, gets out there. We flash back to Brandi telling Kyle about LVP wanting her to bring the tabloids with her on vacation. She says if you cross LVP in any way, which she did – Denise asks if she crossed LVP or disagreed with her. Brandi says, a bit of both – you get punished. Denise wonders why do that to a friend who’s never done anything wrong. She thinks Brandi should come to Provence. Brandi orders two glasses of wine in one. She tells the waiter, if he brings two separate glasses, she’ll kill him. In her interview, Denise says Brandi can drink her under the table. Denise doesn’t do shots. She sips that sh*t. Me too. I’d make a much better friend for Denise. Public divorce aside.

Brandi (who is friends with Kim now?) tells Denise that Kim called her a bitch. We flash back to Denise telling Kim that LisaR is really a nice person. I’m beginning to think Denise needs help picking friends. Denise tells Brandi that she was just reassuring Kim that LisaR didn’t man anything by it. It was bad timing, and LisaR shouldn’t have said it, but they all make mistakes. She thinks LisaR and Kim should move on. It’s an effing bunny. Again, I’m no fan of Kim’s, but LisaR is the one who brought it up, and used the c-word in reference to Kim. Why isn’t Denise calling her out on it?

Denise meets Aaron at Compass, where he’s unpacking fitness equipment. He says they just got the power on. In her interview, Denise says it’s been crazy busy. She’s traveling a lot, but they try to make sure not too much time goes by before they see each other again. Denise says she got the pictures of Sami’s messy room and the bathroom. Aaron says she uses every towel. Denise feels terrible, leaving him while the fitness center is being put together. Leaving stresses her out, but she gives Aaron credit. As a new husband, he’s being supportive. He says when he approaches Sami in a cool and calm way, she says stop yelling at her. Denise says his voice carries, and a thirteen-year-old perceives it as yelling. In Denise’s interview, she says, Charlie is the easier going parent, while Aaron has strict boundaries, but they make the girls feel safe and secure. She tells him that she owes him a beach party in Vegas.

Walking down a commercial street, Kyle tells Erika it’s depressing to close the store. They go to the building where the store was, and it says for lease. Kyle realizes she didn’t take the chandeliers, and has to get them. She says she did find a space she likes, but she’s never done anything from the ground up. She needs help. She tells Erika that she has a lot to think about. In Kyle’s interview, she says it’s a challenging time for her. As they pass Villa Blanca, she thinks of fun times with LVP. We flash back to some of those. Kyle doesn’t focus on what happened recently. It makes her sad to think that chapter of her life is closed. She and Erika go shopping, and look for scarves. Erika says, what’s more French than a scarf and beret? All they’re missing is a baguette and some cheese.

Camille calls Kyle, and says she went over her schedule, and talked to her family. She can go. She’s excited to be included. Kyle and Erika pay for whatever they just bought, and it’s 800 bucks for the tiniest bag of stuff ever.

Everyone gets packing. Again from closets as big as a small country. Kyle considers taking a machete.

Breaking news. There are three separate wildfires in California. Malibu is evacuated. Kyle, Teddi, and LisaR are on their way to the airport. Camille calls, saying it’s stressful. She lives in a canyon, and can see flames in the next canyon over. She has to leave her house now. In Camille’s interview, she says they got stuck in traffic, and could see the flames and smoke moving faster than the cars. She was terrified. Kyle tells her to make sure she’s safe, and keep them posted. In Teddi’s interview, she says, it’s heartbreaking. They’d planned on talking with Camille, but tragedy has a way of putting things in perspective. Oh nice. Once again they want to pick an inappropriate venue to air their grievances. It’s doubly nice that the person who they have a grievance with, would have no means of escape. LisaR calls Denise, who finally has cell service. Denise says she’s never seen anything like it. It’s effing insane. LisaR tells her to keep in touch. They’re not on the plane until 3:30. Denise says she thinks her house might be burning.

Next time, the trip to Provence; LisaR says it’s like Downton Abbey, but in France; Dorit says it makes you feel like you’re in Europe; Camille’s house burns down; Teddi and LisaR clash.

🏇 If She’s Out, So Am I…

Even worse, it looks like Brandi is inching her way in. Sorry, Denise, but I can’t.

https://www.eonline.com/news/1046855/is-lisa-vanderpump-really-leaving-the-real-housewives-of-beverly-hills

💍 A Taste of the New 90…

I’m already loving this show. As usual, there are a couple of decent people, but they’re mostly horrible.

https://www.eonline.com/news/1046518/90-day-fiance-the-other-way-premieres-with-shocking-secrets-catfishing-and-big-investments

🏰 I Wanna Go Too…

Must be nice. I could make a joke here about it being Provence, not Nice, but I’ll let it go.

 

May 31, 2019 – Everyone Wants a Piece of Ryan, nuDanny, the OG Tries Harder, LisaR Strikes Again, a Diva, a Drunk, 90 Day Disaster, Rich People Problems, 12 Quotes Minus 2 & Two Weekends

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Sam tells Julian that she’ll do anything to get Wiley away from Shiloh, even if it means working with him. Jason brings Danny home, and asks if everything is okay. Sam looks at Julian.

At the hospital, Robert approaches Finn. He wants to offer his congratulations. Finn says, thanks, but he did that at the Ball. Robert says there was a lot going on there, and he was being polite. The truth is, he wants Anna to have all the happiness she deserves, and he hopes she gets it with Finn. Anna sees them, and asks if she’s interrupting anything.

Ava is brought out, and Scotty asks for a minute with his client. He’s glad Julian talked sense into her, and she’s standing up for herself. She says she has to get free and stay free in case Ryan survives. He suggests she doesn’t say that to the judge. He wants her to go in and sit, sit up straight, and nicely say she’s not guilty. He’ll handle the rest. He’s not sure if he’s going with temporary insanity or self-defense. She doesn’t know how he’d pull off self-defense, since there were three cops there when she stabbed Ryan in the back.

Jordan tells Doc and Laura that she warned Ava not to take matters into her own hands, but Doc understands what motivated her. Jordan says Ava is being charged with attempted murder. It seems unfair, and hypocritical, considering how many people Ryan killed. She says she’s sorry, but Doc says, it happens to be true. Jordan says, now, of all people, he’s her best chance for a kidney transplant.

Curtis says he saved Ryan’s life. Now Ryan has to do the same for Jordan, and consent to donating a kidney. Ryan says, that’s major surgery. He needs to mull it over. Curtis says, the answer is yes. Ryan asks why he should save the life of a woman who stopped at nothing to hunt him down? He’ll see her in hell.

Robert tells Anna that he was congratulating Finn. Finn appreciates it, but has patients to see. He leaves, and Robert says Anna looks happy. She says she is. Is he surprised? He says he’s still trying to figure out how she convinced herself that he wanted to remarry her. She says she was mistaken. She saw him with Mac, and he had a ring. She jumped to the wrong conclusion, but it’s not that far-fetched. He’d been acting strangely. She asks how he ended up with the ring, and he says he was housing it, but truth be known, he wasn’t happy they were getting married. He’s not carrying a torch, but she is the love of his life; regardless of how long ago it was when they discovered they couldn’t make it as couple. She says, damn you, Scorpio. He says seeing her with Finn, he realized they’d be going off and having adventures together. It didn’t sit well when he realized he’d no longer have a place in that part of her life. She takes his hands, and says, snap out of it. They laugh.

Lulu is busy swiping at the MetroCourt when Maxie and Peter walk in. Maxie looks over Lulu’s shoulder, and tells her, swipe right. Lulu says, it’s purely research. She’s not looking for a love connection. Peter says, most people on there aren’t, and Maxie calls him cynical. Lulu says she is too. She’s hunting for someone who’s catfishing women so he can steal from them. Maxie says, it’s sad that they’re being taken down because they’re looking for love. Lulu says, like Ava.

Danny thanks Julian for the birthday present, and Julian says he’ll let them celebrate. After he leaves, Sam asks Jason where Scout is. He says she was sleeping, and Olivia told him not to wake her up. Scout was having a bad day, and was cranky, so Olivia thought they should let her sleep. Danny says Olivia is making him taste everything for the party, so it’s like he’s getting two parties. Sam thinks he’s special enough for two parties. Right, dad? Jason says, right, and almost smiles.

Ava is uncuffed, and Scotty tells her to just plead not guilty; they’ll strategize later. It looks like self-defense is out the window, and he’ll have to go for temporary insanity. She says if it gets her out, fine. Margaux walks in, saying she thought she recognized Scotty’s aftershave permeating the place. He says it’s his hair gel; it’s pungent. He says Ava did Margaux a favor, getting a serial killer off the streets. What say they make a deal, and call it a day. She’s sympathetic, but can’t look other way. Scotty says, Ryan is demented. He cut off his own hand. Margaux says, Ava stabbed him in the back. It’s his job to defend Ava, and it’s hers to prosecute.

Doc tells Jordan that he wishes he could be the donor. It would make everything simpler. She says if he hadn’t stepped up, they never would have known Ryan was a match. He says, that’s an optimistic way of looking at it. She says she has to be optimistic; her life depends on Ryan. Doc has to go, but Laura says she’ll catch up with him. She asks Jordan, what’s going on? Jordan says she’s not in a position to be picky, but it creeps her out to think she’d be owing her life to Ryan.

Curtis grabs the front of Ryan’s hospital gown. Ryan tells him, let go. Curtis promises Ryan doesn’t know anything about him; what he’s capable of, or what he’s done. Jordan’s life is worth more than Ryan’s, and if Curtis could, he’d snatch the kidney out with his bare hands in heartbeat. Ryan says, that would be murder. He might be willing to entertain offers. What’s his kidney worth to Curtis?

Anna says Robert will always be an important part of her life, and not just because of Robin. He’s a friend, an ally, and the best agent she’s ever worked with. She’s happier knowing he’s in the world with her. Robert says, all he ever wanted was for her to be happy. The best to both of them. She says she maybe has to ask him for something. Kind of an engagement present. Peter and Maxie are going to be visiting Robin. It was Robin’s decision to invite him, and she wants Robert to be a big boy about it. He asks, why? So Robin gets to know her big brother when they both know that’s not who Peter is?

Lulu tells Maxie and Peter that she’s going to put a pin in this for now. She has a pressing story to write. She’s going to the hospital to see if she can get a few comments on Ryan’s arrest. She tells them to enjoy their evening. Peter asks Maxie what she thinks of the dating story, and she says she’s happy she’s not out there in the dating world. He says, that makes two of them. Consider them both off the market. They kiss, and Maxie says she’s still worried about Lulu. They have to be proactive in getting Dante and Lulu back together.

Sam tells Jason that she’s glad Julian is getting to know Danny, as long as they keep it on a limited basis. Jason doesn’t love it, but the situation is what it is, and making a big deal out of it will confuse Danny. She says Jason walked in on their conversation, but Jason says he’s not asking her about it. Julian is her father, and it’s her business. She says she’s not keeping secrets from him. Not for Julian or anyone else. The situation involves Wiley, and guess who else? Shiloh.

Julian sits behind Ava in the courtroom. She’s happy he made it. Judge Henry Otis is presiding, and he says the charge is attempted murder. He asks how Ava pleads, and she says, not guilty. Scotty would like to request the defendant be released on bail, if the DA has no objections.

Jordan tells Laura that she feels foolish thinking this way, but the idea of Ryan being a part of her body disturbs her. Laura understands. Nothing about the situation is easy, but she had no problem accepting Doc’s kidney. Jordan says, not at all, and Laura says, so, they have the same DNA. All Jordan is getting from Ryan is a group of tissues that will save her life. What she does with that life afterwards is entirely up to her. Jordan says it sounds better when Laura breaks it down like that. That’s why she’s mayor. Laura says she has her moments.

Curtis says Ryan wants him to make an offer for his kidney. Ryan says he’s a practical man. He has leverage, and also has something Curtis’s wife desperately needs. He needs something in return. Curtis tells him, name his price; he’ll pay it. Ryan says it’s not a financial transaction per se, and Curtis says, if it’s not money, what does he want?

Anna tells Robert that they don’t know anything really; it’s just a theory. They can’t prove Alex is Peter’s biological mother. Robert says they can start with digging through Dimitri’s records, but Anna says, what’s the point? Alex wouldn’t leave important documents lying around. He says, that’s exactly the place she’d leave them. If Peter is Alex’s son, doesn’t she want to know? She says, it doesn’t matter. She cares about Peter. He’s part of the family. He’s important to her and Robin. Peter isn’t going to hurt Robin, and she wants to get to know him. Robert isn’t so sure.

Maxie tells Peter that if Dante doesn’t want to come home on his own, it’s up to them to bring him back. Peter says, assuming they find him. What makes her think they could get him to come home? She might get somewhere, but he has zero influence. She says they can make Dante aware of the toll his absence is taking on Lulu’s life.

Ryan says Curtis seems shocked, but is he really? Curtis says Ryan really is crazy. Ryan says it’s bad strategy to insult the person who can save his wife’s life, but the offer still stands. Tick tock. Finn comes in, and Curtis leaves. Ryan says don’t mind Curtis; he’s got a lot on his mind. Finn sees Ryan is recovering well. Ryan says Finn doesn’t like him, and Finn says Ryan is his least favorite patient, but he’s a doctor, and required to treat everyone. Ryan understands that, but what he doesn’t get is why is Finn wandering so far from his area of expertise. Why is an infectious disease specialist spending so much time with a knife wound? Why is he there?

Judge Otis asks if the DA has any objections to the defendant’s release. Margaux says she has none. Ava’s only target is in ICU, under police guard. The prosecution doesn’t consider her a danger to society or a flight risk. The judge sets bail at $100K.

Jason says, with enough time and resources, Shiloh is bound to find Wiley. Sam says Julian thinks he can stop that from happening, and she agreed to help him. Jason asks if she’s sure, and she says Julian is motivated to help Wiley, so she’s in. He tells her, if it goes sideways, or she gets a bad feeling… She says she’ll find him, but doesn’t he think it’s time for him to come home to stay?

Anna tells Robert not to get in the way, but Robert says he’s not the person she needs to worry about. She needs to worry about Peter’s real mom; her traitorous sister.

Jason asks if Sam is sure she wants him to come back. She says it’s something she’s been thinking about since she was in the hospital bed, and saw him standing there. It was confusing for them, but giving her the time she needed, allowed her to figure things out. She did, and she has no question or doubt. She wants him there, together, as a family. He asks if she remembers what he wanted for Christmas. She says, a day with her and the kids. He says he forced himself to leave every time. Even when they were just putting toys together, or doing a puzzle, or when he made chicken soup for her. (He cooks? Sign me up.) He can’t imagine anything better than that. Sam tells him, come home, and never leave again. They kiss.

Peter tells Maxie that Dante has PTSD, and he’s worried about being a danger to his family. He’s not guilting Dante into coming home, and not getting the help he needs. Maxie gets that Dante is protecting Lulu, but she thinks the WSB is taking advantage of him. They want to cure him just enough to keep him working for them, but not enough to come home. She speaks from experience. Her dad is the director. When she was a kid, he left on a mission, and never came back. His work was more important. She doesn’t want to see that happen to Dante and his family. Peter asks why she’s so invested.

Lulu runs into Doc at the hospital. She says she wants to get a quote from Jordan. He says he and Laura were just with Jordan, and her mom is probably still there. He’ll get out of the way. She asks him to wait. She says her mom loves him, and he’ll always be in her life and the kids’ lives, which means he’ll always be in her life. It’s probably time to talk about the real issue between them. He asks if she means how his actions led to Ryan nearly killing her.

Still in Jordan’s room, on the phone, Laura says she’ll touch base next week. Jordan asks what they said. Laura thought she was sleeping, but Jordan asks what the Canadian authorities said. Laura says it looks like they have jurisdiction to prosecute Ryan for his crimes in Canada, as well as there. Jordan says, consecutive life sentences. Curtis walks in, and asks how it’s going. Jordan says, living the dream. He asks Laura to stick around. What he has to say concerns her too. Jordan asks if he spoke to Ryan, and Curtis says, he agreed to donate his kidney… as long as the charges against him are dropped. Well, good luck with that. There would be a million people involved with that decision.

Robert tells Anna that Alex seems to have spent the greater part of her life trying to sabotage Anna’s. Anna says, she has to certain extent, but Anna doesn’t think it’s malicious. She’s messed up. He says Anna doesn’t want Peter to know. She admits he might be right, but Peter is capable of taking care of himself.  Robert says he knows. That’s one reason he’s glad their daughter lives on the other side of the country. She tells him, why not leave it alone? For her, the love of his life. Can he do that? He says he won’t mention Peter’s parentage – she says, alleged parentage – to Robin. She thanks him, and he says, unless he has to. She can’t imagine what circumstance that would be. She’s sure her sister doesn’t care. She gave him up. Robert says, when he was a baby. Now Anna cares a great deal for him. She says, of course (🍷). He says if she thinks her sister is above using that, she’s sadly mistaken. She asks what he’s implying, and he says he’s not implying. He’s straight up saying if she continues this pantomime of being Peter’s mother, she needs to visit Alex and get her in on it.

Jason gives Danny a present, and Danny asks Sam if he has to wait to open it. Please? Sam says he’s adorable when he begs, so go ahead. It’s a racing car set, and Danny asks if Jason can help set it up before he goes. Sam says she has something to tell Danny. Jason is sticking around for good. They’re going to live as family. How does he feel about that? Danny says, it’s the coolest birthday present ever. He hugs Jason, and Sam hugs them both.

Maxie tells Peter, of course (🍷) she’s invested in Dante coming home. Lulu is her best friend, and Dante is a little lost. He thinks if he goes far away, he can find himself, and Lulu is burying herself in her work to distract her from the pain. Peter says, Lulu loves her work, and it builds her confidence, which is what she needs. Maxie says if they don’t do something, his star reporter is going to burn herself out. She pleads with him to help her do what she can to get Lulu and Dante back together.

Lulu says her mother has chosen to forgive Doc, and her happiness means everything. She’s doing everything in her power to support that, but when she looks at Doc’s face, she still sees Ryan. Doc says, trauma isn’t rational. She can lay out the facts, and tell herself that he’s not Ryan, but her immediate reaction and the adrenaline are automatic. With some cases, time is all that’s needed, but with others, it’s just learning to maintain. Lulu says she realized she and Dante are going through the same thing. Dante has no control over what he’s feeling. He wants to feel comfortable, but he’s not there yet. Dante is literally afraid of himself. She can’t set a timeline, and demand he get better and come back. As much as he wants to, it’s out of his control, and there’s no one to blame or be angry at, and no one to forgive.

Scotty tells Ava, that went well. He thinks it’s a sign of good things to come. Julian says Ava caught a lucky break, but Ava says she’s not feeling very lucky. Ryan told her that Kiki called out for her with her dying breath, and said she loved her. Julian says Ryan is a sick SOB, just messing with her head. She says she has no idea if it’s true or not. She knows he could have been lying. Kiki could have said anything or nothing. But what if he was telling the truth, and her daughter died calling for her, and she wasn’t there?

Jordan tells Curtis she thought Ryan was an evil genius, and lucky. He killed how many people, and thinks he can trade a kidney for his freedom? Laura suggests a plea deal. Texas has the death penalty. Curtis says they can take capital punishment off the table, but Jordan says, absolutely not. No bargaining or negotiating on her behalf. She wants him pay, no matter what.

Finn says should Ryan, choose to donate an organ, he’s there to make sure the kidney stays free of infection, and is ready for transplant. Ryan says the intended recipient is the commissioner, who hounded him. Why should he help her? Finn says, it’s a worthwhile investment; his organ for a lesser prison sentence. They both know he can live a full life with one kidney. Ryan says, a life of hammering out license plates, and reading every book in the library. He can think of a better trade than a lesser sentence. Finn says, he’s waiting for a better price? He had Ryan pegged wrong. He thought Ryan was a smart guy; some people say he’s a genius. But he’s delusional, bargaining for his freedom. A smart guy would assess the situation, and see where his advantage lies, but that’s clearly beyond him.

Jason, Sam, and Danny play with the racetrack.

Peter tells Maxie, since it means so much, he’ll help find Dante, and try to bring him back. Mostly because he doesn’t want her to do it alone. She thanks him, but he says they don’t even know where to start. They don’t even know what country Dante is in. Maxie says, it’s not easy, but they’ve got this. They’re a good team.

Finn says he got Anna’s text; is everything okay? She says, yes and no. She has to go to Zurich. Her flight is in three hours. She has to see Alex. He asks, why? and she says she doesn’t want Robert to be right. Unfortunately, he is, and if Peter’s biological mother is going to exploit that, Anna needs to see her face to face, and figure out what she knows. Peter and Maxie are going to be visiting Robin, and she doesn’t want them building a relationship based on a lie. She has to find out the truth. He says he’d like to go with her, but he’s dealing with Jordan’s case. She it’s her sister and her past. It’s all stuff she needs to deal with. She tells him that she loves him very much, and he says he’ll be waiting. They kiss, and as she’s leaving, she says she loves her ring. It is really pretty.

Curtis sees Finn, who says he’s sorry Ryan refused to donate his kidney, but no one is giving up. Curtis says he needs Finn’s help to think of something else. Finn says he already has.

Laura tells Jordan that they don’t have to talk now. Jordan says she’s tendering her resignation, but Laura says, no she’s not. Laura refuses to accept it. She can find an interim commissioner to keep Jordan’s desk warm for when she’s ready to come back to them.

Julian tells Ava that Ryan manipulated her. The best way to beat the guy is to get him out of her head. She says she’s sorry, but she can’t do that.

Ryan hears the door to his room open, and asks if Finn came back for an autograph, but it’s Doc. Ryan says, hello brother. He says didn’t mean to leave Doc hanging, and laughs.

On Monday, Ava tells Kiki happy birthday, Michael tells Sasha things are complicated, and Finn tells Curtis that when Ryan is under the knife, they can make sure he never wakes up.

👦 I Thought So…

Danny made an age jump.

https://www.abc.soapsindepth.com/posts/general-hospital-tk-weaver-danny-recast-171004

🃏 Staying in the Game…

Vicki’s keeping it real. At least as real as reality in the OC gets.

https://radaronline.com/exclusives/2019/05/vicki-gunvalson-gets-rhoc-cast-engagement-party/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

😕 Where’s Ma When You Need Her…

LisaR just can’t keep those big lips shut. I don’t even like Kim, but this was entirely uncalled for.

https://radaronline.com/videos/rhobh-recap-lisa-rinna-fights-kim-richards-feud/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

⚡ Not Like These Are a Shock…

LuAnn is a diva. I worked for the business end of Al-Anon, and she’s what members would call a Mr. AA. Or in this case, Countess AA.

https://radaronline.com/videos/rhony-recap-drunk-sonja-morgan-calls-luann-de-lesseps-diva/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

But Sonja negates her point by literally being falling down drunk.

https://starmagazine.com/photos/rhony-sonja-morgan-drunk-ambulance-miami-trip-video/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

💍 Where the Awful People Meet…

Maybe they can have yet another spin-off, 90 Day Fiancé: Go Back Home. While there are some lovely and legit couples, this show is rife with grifters and nasties. In regard to Larissa and Colt(ee), even though she’s no prize, I’ve always leaned to Larissa’s side. Nobody (almost nobody anyway) wants to start their marriage off living with their mother-in-law. Add being in another country, away from family and friends, and living in Las – not the good part of it – Vegas with no air conditioning. Mom Debbie didn’t make it any easier, never seeming to recognize what a cold fish her son is, and at the same time, babying him. And when Larissa told Debbie that she had children back in Brazil, Debbie acted like Larissa had committed a cardinal sin by not telling her, when it was Colt(ee) who had told her not to. As if this wasn’t bad enough, Colt(ee) is a very odd dude, who never takes his wife’s side, feigning neutrality. I think he likes and orchestrates drama, and it creeps me out how he never shows emotion. Frankly, he reminds me of a friend’s father, who’s a predator. (Don’t worry. He’s locked up for good now.) It was like she was being held hostage. The worst part of the whole thing is, at least in the beginning, Larissa really seemed to like Colt(ee), but he was no Prince Charming from the jump. Her first day in America, when she arrived at the airport, he met her empty-handed, and her request for twenty bucks worth of flowers was too much. She should have turned around right then and there.

https://radaronline.com/exclusives/2019/05/90-day-fiance-star-colt-johnsons-mom-talks-larissa-deportation/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

🚬 Interesting…

Mostly because I thought Claus von Bülow was dead already. While it’s not really that crazy of a story, the best part is his mistress was Alexandria Isles aka Alexandrea Moltke aka Victoria Winters from the original Dark Shadows.. No surprise, she’s never gone to any of the conventions.

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/05/30/obituaries/claus-von-bulow-dead.html

💡 Quotes of the Week

Who are you? The topless photo police?Dr. Phil to a girl who outed Miss Tennessee by sending nude photos of the pageant queen to pageant officials

Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you. – Joey Adams (Excellent advice!)

Most people have the will to win, few have the will to prepare to win. – Bobby Knight

The act of discovering who we are will force us to accept that we can go further than we think.Paulo Coelho

Vision without action is merely a dream. Action without vision just passes the time. Vision with action can change the world. – Joel A. Barker

As the twig is bent the tree inclines.Virgil

Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. – George Burns

One isn’t necessarily born with courage, but one is born with potential. Without courage, we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency. We can’t be kind, true, merciful, generous, or honest.Maya Angelou

The mysterious is always attractive. People will always follow a veil. – Bede Jarrett

The good times of today, are the sad thoughts of tomorrow. – Bob Marley

🐧 What It Is…

The reality of my weekend:

WeekendSleeping (2)

versus

What I wish it would be:

May 28, 2019 – Sam Says Game Over, Mitch Keeps the Peace, Farrahween, Bad Joke Overreaction, a Little Balance, Another Breakup & a Baby Lion

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Scotty finds Ava in the interrogation room. She asks what he’s doing there, and he says he heard she got arrested on the police scanner. She’s not walking into the arraignment alone. He’s there; let him help her. She says if he wants to help, bring her confirmation that she killed Ryan.

Jordan stirs, and Curtis says he doesn’t know how she does it; waking up looking beautiful every day. She calls him a liar, and he says, facts. She starts to sit up, and he tells her, be careful. He’ll get a nurse. She says, talk to her. What happened? He asks what she remembers. She says he came back from Canada. Did he find Ryan?

On the phone, Monica finds out Ryan is still in surgery. Drew approaches, and she asks how he’s doing. He says that’s kind of why he’s there. He has some things to take care of before he and Kim leave town. She says, they’re going away together?

Julian gives Kim some paperwork, and says they should have no problem going through customs. Kim thanks him, and he says he knows how much the trip means to her. He hopes it brings her peace. She does too. He hugs her, and says he wishes he could make it easier. She says he is. She knows Oscar would want her to do this. She goes into the bedroom to get her passport, and Julian calls Alexis. He thanks her for the expedited paperwork. Kim needs to bring Oscar’s ashes to Mount Kilimanjaro. He never thought things could move that fast. She’s glad she can help, and he says he owes her already for getting him out of jail. She says he should thank Doc for dropping the charges. He wishes all of his problems were that easily solved. Kim comes back, and he says he was thanking Alexis for greasing the wheels. She says, he got arrested?

Sam and Jason look into Shiloh’s room. Jason asks how she’s feeling, and Sam says, like a huge weight has been lifted. It’s one of the hardest cons she’s ever had to run. She hated pretending to believe what Shiloh said; it was disgusting. Jason says he’ll see if Monica can get a rush on the toxicology report.

Neil visits Alexis. He tells her that he’s anxious to see how the plan to neutralize Shiloh panned out. Alexis says, apparently, he drugged Sam, who was kept for observation, but she’ll be okay. He’s glad about that, but wonders how did the plan work?

Sam sits on Shiloh’s bed. He says, please tell him that Jason failed, and adds, no matter how hard Jason tries, he can’t keep them apart.

Ava asks if Ryan is dead or not, but Scotty doesn’t know. She says she lives in hope. What happened is justice; a knife in Ryan’s back. Her only regret is that she didn’t twist it. Scotty says she can think that, but don’t say it. If he does, she could face a murder rap. She says he makes it sound like she’s done something to be ashamed of. She avenged her daughter’s death. Scotty says she can call it revenge or justice, but she’s pleading not guilty.

Jordan tells Curtis that she needs to know. He tells her, relax. Ava used herself as bait, luring Ryan to a remote cabin, where he caught up with her. Chase took Ryan into custody, and Ava stabbed him in the back while he was handcuffed. He’s in surgery. Jordan wonders if he’ll make it, but Curtis doesn’t know. She says she can’t blame Ava. Badge or no badge, she’d want the same thing. Curtis says they need Ryan to live. She asks what he isn’t he telling her.

Drew tells Monica that he and Kim are leaving for Tanzania. They’re taking Oscar’s ashes to Mont Kilimanjaro, since Oscar never made the trip. He wanted her blessing, since the Quartermaines are usually buried in the crypt. She says, not this time. She thinks Kilimanjaro is perfect for Oscar, but if they don’t mind, she’d like to put Oscar’s plaque in with the rest of the family. Drew thinks Oscar would like that. He loved being part of the family. He had a special spirit. Monica says he got it naturally from his father. Drew doesn’t know about that, but appreciates her saying it. Jason approaches, saying he doesn’t want to interrupt. Drew says it’s not an interruption. They’re family, right?

Alexis tells Neil that they need proof Shiloh drugged Sam. Then they can force him to return Kristina’s Pledge. Neil thinks maybe that will cancel some of Kristina’s self-criticism and self-blame, but she still has a long way to go. Alexis appreciates his help, and he says he’s still her therapist; she’s still his priority. Alexis says she’s not sure she’s the one with the problem. Kristina appears, and says, that would be her.

Shiloh tells Sam that Jason can’t hurt them now. His heart is full that she still believes, and is listening to her inner voice. She says he’s so in love with himself. He’s the one in love with his inner voice.  He asks what she’s saying, and she says, game over, Shiloh, Hank, David, or whatever he’s calling himself. You lose.

Ava asks Scotty what difference it makes, as long as the bastard who killed her daughter is dead. He says a first year law student could handle her case. She has to plead temporary insanity. Ava says if the DA says it was premeditated, she’d be right. Ava had every intention of killing Ryan. It didn’t play out the way she’d planned, but hopefully, she got the job done. He says, how about this? She matters to him. She might have given up on herself, but he hasn’t.

Julian tells Kim it was no big deal; one night in lockup. He was defending his sister’s honor, and slugged Doc, but he dropped the charges. Kim heard him say there were other problems. What else isn’t he telling her? He says he’s a big boy; he can take care of himself. She knows he can, but she wants to know if he needs her. Is he in trouble? His phone rings. He says, it’s Scotty, and might be about Ava. Scotty asks where he is. Didn’t he hear the news Ava was arrested? She’s at the PCPD, and needs him now. Julian tells Kim that he has to go. Ava’s been arrested. She says she’s coming with him, but he says she has a plane to catch. When she comes back, he’ll be there and waiting for her. She says he’d better be, and they kiss.

Curtis tells Jordan, something else happened. She says she was relieved to hear he was okay. Her heart was beating hard, and she couldn’t catch her breath. He says she had a cardiac episode, and she asks if he means a heart attack. He says, everything is under control, and she tells him, just say it. He says the dialysis put a strain on her heart. If she continues it, her heart will be compromised.

Jason asks if Drew wants him to do anything while he’s gone. Drew says, maybe one thing. He can get a head start on the plans for the treehouse. Monica says Oscar expected them to build it together, and Jason says he’ll order the supplies, and they can start when Drew gets back. They shake hands, and Drew leaves. Monica says she didn’t want to worry Drew any further, but how’s Sam. Jason says, she’s clear to go home, but they need her to expedite the toxicology report. They need proof Shiloh drugged Sam.

Alexis says it doesn’t look like Kristina got much sleep, and Kristina says she had a rough night. She knows Sam just got involved with DOD because of her. Neil says Kristina’s concern is admirable, and shows that Shiloh no longer has a hold over her, but Kristina says, he does. There’s something about DOD she didn’t tell them.

Sam puts her finger in Shiloh’s face, and says she’s so sick of listening to his voice. I’m dying laughing, he’s so surprised. She ask if he knows how hard it was to listen to his self-serving garbage. He says all he was trying to do was help her, and Jason threw him down the stairs. That’s attempted murder. She says, is it? Does he have a witness? She answers her own question, saying, no, he doesn’t. Because he abducted her, and they were alone in the tower. She was too drugged up to resist. He says she willingly drank the tea, and committed to the ceremony. She willing signed the Pledge. She says, please. The Pledge was as bogus as his book. What did Molly call it? Cliché and derivative. Jason walks in, and Sam asks if he has it. He says he sure does. The toxicology report says Sam was drugged. He says she drank the tea willingly, but Jason tells him, the recording says different. Shiloh says he didn’t consent to being recorded, but Sam says she did, and in the state of New York, that’s all they need. Jason says, assault, attempted rape; who knows what else they’ll find when they start investigating? Shiloh is going to prison for a long time.

Julian meets Scotty at the station, and asks, what the hell happened? Scotty says Ryan tried to resurrect himself, and Ava tried to put an end to him once and for all, allegedly sticking a knife in his back while he was handcuffed. Julian says, good for her, but Scotty says she’s pleading guilty. He wants her to plead temporary insanity, but she won’t budge. He wants Julian to talk to her.

Ava tells Kiki that she’ll be able to rest. Her killer is going to pay. Julian comes in, and Ava says Scotty must have called him. Julian has to hand it to her. She had him fooled. Nice work. She fooled him into thinking she was in love with Doc. She asks if Ryan is dead. He doesn’t know for sure, but he’s guessing no. He tells her that she can’t plead guilty. She asks, why? She set out to avenge her daughter, and it’s what she did. She’s not hiding it; she’s proud of it.

Josslyn visits Kim, saying she got Kim’s message. It’s weird. They were together practically 24/7 before Oscar passed away, and now Josslyn hasn’t seen her since. Kim says she couldn’t face the Nurses Ball, and Josslyn says she almost didn’t go herself. Cameron brought her a message from Oscar, a video he’d pre-recorded. He said he wanted her to live her life, starting at the Nurses Ball by singing. Kim can only imagine how hard it was. Josslyn says she knows it sounds weird, but when she thought she couldn’t do it, Oscar was there. She saw him, and didn’t want to let him down, so she sang. Kim says, it’s not weird. She’s sure Oscar was there. He loved music, and he loved her, which is why she and Drew are sure he’d want her to have this. He hands her Oscar’s guitar.

Curtis tells Jordan that they’ll get through this. Jordan says the kidney transplant isn’t a quality of life issue anymore; it’s life or death. She knows why he wants Ryan alive. Doc is a match, and Ryan is his twin. Curtis says if Ryan lives, he’ll convince him to donate. She asks, if he dies? and Curtis says he’s going to save her. He doesn’t care what it costs, or what favors he has to call in. Wherever he has to go, he’ll go there. She says don’t make her arrest him. He says as ruthless as Ryan was, he’s that in love. He’s going to find a way to give her the second chance at life she deserves.

Alexis tells Kristina, there’s no point reliving nightmare, but she wants to say it while she has the courage. It’s not what Shiloh did, it’s what she did before joining the Trust. He wanted her to make an offering; a secret that was deep and important. Alexis asks if she means the Pledge. Kristina asks if Alexis knows what she gave Shiloh, and Alexis says, not unless she wants to tell.

Shiloh tells Jason and Sam that Sonny threatened him. Jason says, Sonny doesn’t make threats. Sam says Shiloh has no idea how hard she had to work to convince Sonny to let her deal with him herself. Kristina is her sister, but Sonny is an overprotective father. She wouldn’t be surprised if Sonny did deal with Shiloh himself. Not now; there’s too much scrutiny. Jason says when he’s sent to Pentonville, when everyone has forgotten about him, accidents happen. Shiloh asks what they want. Jason says, Kristina’s Pledge. Give it to them or they give him up to the cops.

Ava thinks she should get a medal for stabbing Ryan. The DA agreed to call off the search, giving a serial killer a free pass. Ava never believed he was dead, and she out-manipulated him. The only reason she didn’t pull the trigger, was because Curtis said Kiki would want her to help save Jordan, and he was right. Kiki was too generous for her own good, but Ava knows better. The only way to get justice in this world is to take it. Scotty says Curtis can testify to her state of mind. If she flushes her life down the drain, Ryan wins. Is that what she wants?

Josslyn tells Kim that’s she’ll have to see if she remembers what Oscar taught her. Drew arrives, and asks if Kim is ready. He tells Josslyn the guitar looks good on her. Kim tells him that she wanted Josslyn to have before they left. Josslyn asks where they’re going, and Kim says they’re taking a trip. Drew says they’re going to make Oscar’s trip to Mount Kilimanjaro. Kim adds, to say goodbye to their son.

Monica joins Curtis is Jordan’s room. He says he was just explaining about getting a new kidney. Monica says, that’s the plan. Does Jordan have any questions? Jordan asks if Ryan is out of surgery, and Monica says, stand down, commissioner. She just had a serious episode, and can’t afford any strain on her heart. She tells Jordan to take a leave of absence. Let someone else do the job. She helped save Port Charles from a monster. The least they can do is help give her back her life.

Kristina says when Shiloh told her that he wanted something important and personal, she thought about when she tried to blackmail Parker, but he didn’t want that. He wanted… Neil says, something more useful that he could cash in later. Kristina says she was too stupid to see it, and Alexis says she was betrayed by someone she trusted. Kristina says, now they’re all going to pay the price, and Alexis asks what she told him. Kristina says, something about her family.

Shiloh asks if this is over if he gives them the Pledge. Jason says, it’s already over. He’s never going to bother Kristina again. It’s up to him if he walks away or not. Shiloh says He’ll cooperate, and Jason asks where the Pledges are. Shiloh says in the place where Jason almost killed him.

Ava tells Julian she lured Ryan to her cabin with every intention of killing him, and stabbed him in the back in front of police witnesses, but she was never more sane or sure of anything. How can she get around that? Julian says they can deal with the questions, but he can’t deal with her giving up. She needs to keep her mouth shut, and do what Scotty says. She calls Scotty her knight in shining armor. Julian says if she wants revenge, she needs to plead not guilty. If Ryan ends up in Ferncliff while she goes to prison, she won’t be able to finish what she started.

Josslyn says, Oscar talked a lot about Kilimanjaro, especially after he got sick. Oscar would want them to take him there. He wouldn’t want to be in an urn in a vault, but under the stars. If he knew they were doing it together, it would make him even happier. Drew asks if she wants a ride, but she thinks she’ll stop by the park. She’s going to Oscar’s Meadow, and see if she remembers the chords he taught her. She thanks Kim, and hugs her. Drew hopes she thinks about Oscar when she plays, and she says she’s always thinking of him. She hugs Drew, and tells them to take lots of pictures. She leaves, and Kim says Josslyn has been through so much, and stays so strong. Drew says, she’s not the only one.

Monica checks Jordan’s vitals, and says her blood pressure is elevated, and she has a low grade fever. The sooner they find a kidney, the better. Curtis says they need Ryan to make it through surgery. Monica says she’ll check on him. Jordan thanks her, and Monica says again, they owe her. She leaves, and Jordan doesn’t know what’s worse; her heart nearly stopping or agreeing to a leave of absence. Curtis says she’ll be back to fighting for truth and justice in no time. Until then just get better. Let him pamper her; he’ll fluff her pillow, spoon feed her rocky road ice cream, whatever she needs. She says she has everything she needs right there, and he kisses her.

Alexis tells Kristina, don’t worry. Whatever she said, they’ll deal with it. Neil thinks it’s a family matter, and it’s best to keep it that way. Kristina thanks him for his help, and he says, there’s more where that came from. He’s just a phone call away. When he’s gone, Alexis says Kristina is very brave to come forward. Whatever secret she told, her father will take care of it. Kristina says, it’s not about him.

Sam and Jason go to the tower. Sam looks sick, and remembers Shiloh starting to get undressed, and saying they were destined to know each other on every level. It starts tonight. Jason tells her that she can wait downstairs, but she says she’ll be okay. She thought she could fight him off, but she couldn’t. She was thinking, poor Kristina; she would have been alone. Jason says Sam would have been looking out for her. They start looking for the Pledges.

Kim says she promised not to cry on Drew’s shoulder anymore, and he asks what else is he good for? She says he needs his strength to climb the mountain, and more when he gets to the top. He says that’s why they’re doing it together. Kim says they have a plane to catch, and he says, they do. Let’s go. They head out.

Ava tells Julian it never occurred to her that Ryan might live. He would just end up back in Ferncliff or some other institution. Julian says, and Kiki’s murder goes unavenged. Scotty returns, saying he spoke to the judge. Ava is going to be arraigned this afternoon. He hopes Julian convinced her to fight. Ava tells him, don’t just stand there looking good. Start earning your fee.

Curtis says he and Jordan never got their honeymoon in Fiji. They could start looking at hotels. Sun and sand will do them some good. Monica tells them that Ryan is out of surgery, and Curtis asks if he’s going to make it. She says, it’s too early tell. Jordan wonders why Ryan would consent to give her a kidney.

Alexis says Shiloh needed leverage to use against Kristina or someone she loves. Kristina says she’s so sorry. Alexis says, if the secret isn’t about Kristina’s father… it’s about her.

Jason opens a desk drawer, and says, found it.. Sam asks how they know those are real, and Jason says they’ll have to open one. He picks up Margaux’s envelope. Good choice! He opens it, and looks at Sam, saying, it looks real to him. Sam looks through the envelopes and finds Kristina’s. She says, that’s it. Shiloh is finally finished. Jason says, not yet, but they’re close.

Tomorrow, Sasha tells Nina that she loves it there, Alexis asks Kristina what’s in the Pledge, Maxie doesn’t believe it, and Jason tells Sonny he has leverage against the DA.

The Haves and the Have Nots

Madison keeps trying to call David, but gets voicemail. He asks his co-worker Tisha (I got a name!) if she’s sure it’s him, and she says, it’s the same address. He thinks David is probably out on Valium. He says he told Jeffrey not to go over there. He tries the radio, and Tisha makes a call. Madison thinks it’s David, but she’s gotten Veronica, who’s just pulling into her driveway. Madison says he thinks Jeffrey has been hurt, and to come to the hospital. She says, who is this? and he realizes he’s not talking to David. He says, it’s Madison, and Veronica asks, what happened? He says, just come. Veronica drives back out.

Madison asks why Tisha called Jeffrey’s mother. She says, it’s on his records, and she’s his mother. He says Tisha doesn’t know her. David calls back, and Madison says he needs to come to the hospital. It’s Jeffrey. David asks, what’s wrong? and Madison says he just needs to come. David is like, damn, and jets.

Veronica gets there first. Tisha tells her the ambulance isn’t there yet; she’s still waiting to hear. Veronica says Tisha called her. What the hell happened? Madison comes out, and says, a shooting. They got a call from the address that there were two gunshot wounds to the head. David arrives, and Madison says, there are two gunshot wounds to the head coming in. Davis asks if Jeffrey has been shot, but Madison doesn’t know. David asks why he called, and Madison says, it’s his address; Spanish Moss Trail. Veronica says, whose address that is. Is it that boy? David says, yes. She says she told him to get that boy in line. David asks if Madison has called the ambulance. Madison says he’s been trying, but he’s not getting a response. They must be working on him. David says he should have made Jeffrey leave, and Veronica asks if Jeffrey was with that homosexual girl. Tisha gets a call, and says, it’s not two; it’s one wound, but she doesn’t know which one of them it is. It doesn’t look good. She says she’s sorry. A gurney is quickly wheeled past, and Veronica yells for Jeffrey. David says he’ll kill that son of a bitch.

Meanwhile, at the Iron Bone (I just like saying that), Mitch sees a cousin/uncle/thug/whatever, and says, look who’s up early drinking beer. Dude says, it’s the breakfast of champions. Funny. I thought that was a Hall’s cough drop, coffee, and a cigarette. Mitch asks where Uncle Vinnie is. He’s going to meet with Cryer. Dude says, the guy who stabbed Uncle Vinnie? but Mitch says, his father. Dude suggests he get Vinnie’s $50K, and while he’s at it, he heard Vinnie talking about that Black kid. He wants his money. Mitch says Benny is working on it, and dude wonders how the hell Benny has $8 million, and can’t pay back the family. Mitch asks if he’s stupid, and dude says, what’s stupid is Benny not paying what he owed. Uncle Vinnie was drunk last night, and talking crazy. Mitch says he’ll be back later with the money, and dude says he’d better be.

Madison tells David and Veronica, still no word on the surgery. Veronica asks, what kind of hospital is this? and David says, stay calm. She says she told him, but he doesn’t need to hear that. She asks what the address is, and he says, Spanish Moss Trail, apartment number seven; why? She wants to see what happened, and make sure the DA gets all the evidence. She’s going to put that bastard homosexual away for life. David says their son is in surgery, and may not make it. She says, Jeffrey will make it. He’s a fighter like his momma. She’s a survivor, not like him, letting Jeffrey go be with those people. They’re wicked. Doesn’t he get it? They’re evil. Destruction follows them everywhere. Does he know how many are on crystal meth? Disease and death follows them, and it’s what he allowed for their child. They’re sodomites, and he allowed it. He did that, and now look at this. This is war, and it’s all his fault. She tried to tell him. If Jeffrey doesn’t make it, she promises… A crying Madison approaches them, and says he’s sorry. Jeffrey didn’t make it. Just as I’m thinking, hmm… we didn’t actually see him, Madison says he was told the African American guy didn’t make it. Veronica asks, why do you people lie so much? You lie about everything. Lying is in your DNA. He even lies about something this serious. The smell on him disgusts her. She comes close to him, and sniffs. She says he smells like a lie. Why is he crying? Don’t cry over her boy; he’s not dead. She grabs Madison’s face, and says, liar. She walks out. David asks where he is. Madison calls the doctor, and David cries.

Wyatt pretends to be Jim, and calls through to Kathryn’s car.

In Kathryn’s car, impressing his friends, RK tells them he’s changed things. He’s different; he’s better. He’s got them. The phone rings, startling him. Wyatt tells him, get his ass over there. RK says his guy wasn’t around, and he had to wait until morning. Wyatt had better have the money. Wyatt says RK better be on his way. If he isn’t, Jim is going to report the car stolen, and RK will get caught with his stuff. RK says just make sure he has the damn money. He’s on his way. He says, you can call the car. It’s like a spaceship

Jim sees Kathryn sleeping, and slams the door. He says, hungover? and she says, yes, you ass. He says, good. Is he talking too LOUD? She says, like he’s never been hungover. He says the child who brought her home stole her car. She asks, what child? and he says she doesn’t remember? She says, who cares? and he says her car is gone. He stole it. She says she’ll get another one, but Jim says not before he puts the kid’s ass in jail. She says, the kid from the bar? He says she’s stupid when it comes to money, but she disagrees. That’s why she has a lot, and he’s done. He has none. The stupidest thing she ever did was marry him. He says that was the smartest thing. He keeps her in money. It’s his brand that kept her rich. She gave Hanna $8 million; is that smart? Kathryn says, she’ll give it back, and tells him, don’t go near Hanna’s son; she means it. He tells her, take a shower. She smells like a daycare. She suggests he take a hike off a cliff. In a really odd moment, he helps her up, and fixes the covers. Force of habit?

Wyatt tells Jim that someone is coming up the driveway. Jim says, he’s a Malone. Mitch rings the bell, and Jim comes out. Mitch introduces himself, saying, he came to negotiate a truce. Money for his son. Wyatt did a lot of damage, and the family is pissed. He’s there to keep the peace. Jim says he has no idea what Mitch is talking about, and Mitch asks if that’s a game Jim wants to play. Jim asks how he knows it was Wyatt, and Mitch says he found the receipt with Wyatt’s name on it. Jim asks what he wants, and Mitch says, $75K. Jim asks if that’s how much the drugs were worth that Wyatt bought, and Mitch says, it’s not about what Wyatt bought. It’s about him buying peace. Jim thinks it’s unreasonable, but Mitch says he doesn’t. Especially if his grandma found out his son put hers in the hospital. Jim has to agree, and Mitch says he’ll wait. He’s not going anywhere until he gets it. Jim says he’ll write a check, but Mitch says, the family doesn’t do checks. Cash only. Jim says he’ll bring it to the bar in the morning. Mitch says his uncle is pretty pissed. He suggests Jim give to him. Jim says, if he does this, his son will be left alone. Mitch says, yeah, but Jim has a question. It’s usually blood for blood. What’s different? Mitch says Jim has him in the middle. He doesn’t need this war. Jim says, all right.

Wyatt asks what Mitch said, and Jim asks how much he spent buying drugs from them. Wyatt asks how much Jim stole from him. Jim has half a mind to let them have Wyatt’s sorry ass. Wyatt says it would be better than being stuck there. Jim says the Malones aren’t playing games; they’ll kill Wyatt. It’s serious business. Wyatt says if Jim hadn’t taken his money, he wouldn’t be in this situation. Jim wonders how he raised such a fool, and Wyatt says Jim’s a fool for taking his money. Jim says he did it for Wyatt’s own good. Every time Wyatt does damage, and Jim digs out of the pile of sh*t, Wyatt makes another one for him to climb into. Wyatt tells Jim, go to hell. Jim says, he might, but Wyatt’s ass better be happy in his room. If the Malones get to it before they get their money, he won’t have an ass left. Jim asks, is this what happens when you get a participation award? Ha-ha! Everyone is cracking me up tonight.

Scott hunts down Roderick at the Artisian. He says he’s with the Attorney General’s office. Roderick asks what he can do for him, and Scott says he can start be not looking nervous. Does he have something to hide? Roderick says, no, and Scott shows him a picture of Candace, asking if he knows her. Roderick says, no, and Scott asks if he mentioned he was an FBI agent; top of his class. Roderick says, good for him. Scott says he rose to the top quickly, and knows Roderick is lying. He’ll ask again; does he know her? Roderick says, no, he doesn’t, and Scott says he wants to make it hard. Okay. He makes a call, asking about Roderick’s real name. Roderick asks what he’s doing, and Scott says, calling Homeland Security. Roderick gets super nervous, and says he remembers; he knows her. Scott hangs up. Roderick asks if he’s getting deported, but Scott says that depends on how much help he’s going to be. They’ve got cameras all around. They can start with surveillance. Where’s security? Roderick leads the way.

Candace asks what Charles is what up to today, and he says, what else? They’re packing up and moving. He’d love for her to see it. She’s excited that she gets to see his house. A house tells a lot about a person. He laughs, and looks out the window. She asks if it’s something interesting, and he says, yeah. America. She calls him Mr. President Elect, and he says she likes the sound of that. She says she likes the sound of him, especially right before that moment. He purrs. He says, no, he doesn’t, and she says, like a kitten. He says he roars like a lion, and she says, a baby lion. Hakuna Matata. There’s a knock at door. A guy who isn’t Landon says he needs to talk to Charles in private, and Candace goes to her adjoining room.

Not-Landon tells Charles, Lisa from the Times is doing a story on Candace, and it’s not a good one. Landon flew NYC to see if he can get the story killed, but he thinks it’s still going to go. Candace blackmailed and damaged several high profile. Her cover was blown when they saw her on TV. Charles says, Landon will take care of it, but not-Landon doesn’t think so. He knows Lisa, and there’s this guy. He shows Charles a picture of the AG, and says, he’s already spoken to the President. They think he’s the one making trouble, and they need to get Candace out of there. Charles asks how long they have, and not-Landon says, it depends on Landon, but he’s pretty sure there’s nothing Landon can do. Charles says, it’s his job, but not-Landon says if they don’t handle this now, it could get messy and nasty. Charles hears him, but doesn’t want Candace to go. Not-Landon knows he likes her, but she’s trouble for him, and them. They need to distance themselves from her. Charles wants her to come. If not-Landon hears from Landon, let him know.

Candace comes back, and asks if everything is okay. He says, just Presidential stuff. She asks what it’s like in the White House. Is there someone to teach you protocol? He says, yeah, and she says she has so many questions. He has to shower, and she offers to join him, but he says, no. He needs a moment.

Candace’s phone rings. It’s Benny. He asks if she’s all right. He saw the news. Is she with him? She says she thinks so, and Benny asks if they’re dating? She says, that’s what it looks like. He tells her, be careful, and she asks, why? He says because he’s her annoying kid brother, and he always has to look out for her. That’s why. She asks if Hanna saw, and what she said. Benny tells her, not much. She’s been acting funny lately. It has something to do with that dude she’s seeing. He says he’ll find out. He asks if Charles knows about everything, and she says he does. Hanna comes down, and there’s a three-way hello. Benny says he’ll call Candace back later.

Benny asks if Hanna is making breakfast, but she says they’ll pick something up on the way to the bank. They’re giving the money back. Benny says he needs to pay Mitch’s family. She says she knows that. She talked to Kathryn, who’s going to give her a loan off of the interest so Benny can pay them. And he’s going to help her pay Kathryn back. She tells him, don’t borrow from people like that no more, and he promises he won’t. The doorbell rings, and Benny says he’ll get it, but Hanna says, don’t. He asks if it’s that dude, and she says she doesn’t want talk to him. Benny says he’s been blowing up her phone all day. What did he do? Hanna says, let it go. Benny says he’ll break Derrick’s neck, but Hanna tells him to tend to his own wounds right now. Derrick just isn’t the man she thought he was. Benny says he told her there was something he didn’t like; he knew it. She says, let it go. Benny wants to know what Derrick did, but she tells him, get dressed. The bell rings again

Tisha tells Madison that she’s sorry. He asks if she’s sure the one who died was African American. She is, and he says, the one they took to the ER? She says, he’s not. They need a relative to ID the body, and Madison says he’ll talk to David. Tisha asks if he’s okay, and he says, no. She tells him again, she’s sorry. Madison tells David they need him to identify the body. David cries. Madison says he is so sorry, and David says take him to his son. Why didn’t we see either one of them though? I’m still thinking there could be a mix-up here.

Scott goes through security footage. He sees Candace follow a guy to his room. Scott says he’ll be taking all the footage, but Roderick says he can’t let him. He needs to call the owner. Scott tells him to do what he feels. He tells the security guy to leave, and asks Roderick what’s going on? A girl pays him, and he gives her money later. It’s happening night after night. Roderick thought he was looking for Candace, but Scott says he’s looking for everything. He wants to know what’s going on – now. Roderick asks if he needs a lawyer. Scott says Roderick needs to tell him what’s going on, or he’s going to be arrested. Spit it out. Roderick wants to call the owner, but Scott says he’ll take Roderick along with the evidence. He asks who the leader of the ring is, and Roderick says, not him. Scott asks if it’s the owner, but he says she’s not aware of it. Scott asks who she is, and Roderick says, Kathryn Cryer is the main owner. There’s a board, but she owns the largest share. Scott says it could make money for her, but Roderick says, it’s small money to her. Scott asks if Roderick is having an affair with her, and he says, no… okay. Scott says he saw the damn tape. Stop lying, and tell him everything. Does her husband know? Roderick says, no. Jim threatened him. Scott says he saw that moment at the bar. It didn’t look pleasant. Roderick says, it wasn’t. Scott asks, who’s in charge? and Roderick finally says, Candace. Scott says, now they’re talking. Does the President know she was a prostitute? Roderick doesn’t know, and Scott says, get her on the phone. Roderick says, she spooks easy; she’ll know right away. Scott says Roderick has been very helpful, but he needs a lot more. Roderick says, if he tells Scott everything, will he still get deported? Scott says that depends on how much he helps. Keep bringing it. Scott asks, who’s this guy? pointing to RK. Roderick says, he works with her. Scott points to Rocky, and says, this guy? Rocky says they’re all in this together. Scott asks, is there a code word? Roderick says if you order whiskey on the rocks with a beer chaser and mudded lime. Scott says, okay. Let’s have some fun.

Madison and David approach the body. David takes a breath. Madison holds his. The cover is lifted, and David says…

Veronica is on a porch, and when someone opens the door, she’s shocked.

Next time, Madison tells David they got a call from that address, Hanna tells Benny they’re giving the money back, and Jim tells Kathryn if they don’t give the Malones $75K cash by the end of the day, they’ll put a hit out on Wyatt.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

It’s the last breakfast in Hawaii. Kyle isn’t feeling well, and can’t afford to be sick. When she gets home, she has to get ready for Farrah’s 30th birthday. Dorit says she’s a little tired and anxious to get home. We see clips of Kyle and Mauricio out the night before. Camille joins the women and Mauricio. In her interview, she says it’s kind of trippy, waking up and being a Mrs. again. Mauricio asks if they’re going anywhere for a honeymoon, and Camille says, Switzerland. Kyle, who can’t seem to keep a lid on it, says she found out something weird. One of the family home of one of Alexia’s friend’s was burglarized. The construction workers were taking a lie detector test, and LVP was there taking one. Camille says, it’s ridiculous. Over a dog? Honestly, I don’t get their reaction to this, since they’re the ones who made the big deal out of calling LVP a liar. Camille says she hasn’t seen anything from LVP. LisaR tries to get her to admit it’s a huge devastation, but Camille says, it’s a little owey. LisaR says LVP doesn’t have to behave that way. Camille thinks it’s hurtful and sad. She wishes LVP could be there for her and dismiss all of this. Kyle says they have to get moving, and Camille thanks them all for coming.

Denise gets home from filming. She finds a gift from LisaR and Harry. The note says, Cheers to you and Aaron. Many happy endings! Eloise lost a tooth, and Denise tells her about the tooth fairy. In her interview, Denise says she’s grateful that Aaron is okay with her being on location with her ex-boyfriend. If their roles were reversed, she doesn’t know if she’d be as understanding. She might say she was, but she’d be a little jealous. Aaron is puzzled about the happy endings remark, and she says she may have done something he won’t be too happy about. We flash back to her telling the story about finding him a happy ending when she went camping. She says she didn’t get into the details, and told them he was mortified. Aaron says, it was awkward. Denise says it might not have been the weirdest thing ever if she hadn’t been a hundred years old. Aaron says, two hundred. She says some of the women were a little judgmental, but they can judge all they want. He says, it’s out there now.

Kyle packs her million pairs of shoes back up. She says it was so much fun. Everyone had a great time. and got along. That in itself is a wedding gift for Camille. In the airport limo, LisaR brings up an article in People magazine about LVP and Camille. Dorit says she was way surprised. LisaR reads that Camille said LVP helped her take a leap of faith, and she respects LVP’s decision not to attend the wedding. In LisaR’s interview, she says Camille tells them one thing, and something different in the article. She doesn’t trust both sides of Camille’s mouth. Because I guess Camille can’t possibly feel more than one way, or maybe felt differently later on. LisaR says Camille needs to own her sh*t, and had better step up. Ha-ha! Or what? Since she can never stop being a big-mouthed jerk, LisaR tells Dorit that Camille says not nice things behind her back. We flash back to Camille saying Dorit makes the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. Dorit says Camille claimed it was great getting to know her. We see a clip from the camping trip where Camille says now that she knows Dorit better, they can move forward. I’d also like to point out that when Camille said that to LisaR, it was way before the camping trip. Dorit says, don’t pretend to be nice.  Kyle tells her that Camille says what she thinks someone wants to hear. Teddi doesn’t care about the article, but at least tell them. I can’t believe none of these women understand how tabloids work.

Dorit tells PK he’s not allowed to have chips. Crunch on carrots. Somehow, I don’t think that’s going to work for him.

Erika asks Tom if he wants to come to a party. She got a text from Kyle, but he suddenly has something else to do. Can’t say I blame him.

Kyle picks up LisaR, who disgusts me at this point. LisaR is going for a mammogram. Both her mom and half-sister had double mastectomies, and she’s a little nervous. Kyle asks what LisaR is wearing to the party, but LisaR wants it to be a surprise. Kyle says there are going to be five hundred people. She still has to get a Ferris wheel. She says the party cost about fifteen Birkin bags. LisaR asks what she remembers about being pregnant the first time. She was screaming and crying, and locked the door when she found out there were so many tests, and the nurse wasn’t having it. Well, that does sound a little insane.

LisaR says, it was quite a weekend. When People magazine came out, she lost her sh*t. She wasn’t happy that she told Dorit that Camille was talking about her, but she felt like she had enough. So let me get this straight. LisaR had enough, so she decided to hurt both Camille and Dorit by telling Dorit that Camille had been talking about her. Okay. Does she ever look in a mirror?

Since Kyle was already scheduled for next week, she jumps on LisaR’s mammo-tails and gets in her appointment now. LisaR says now she can focus on Kyle’s anxiety rather than her own. In Kyle’s interview, she says it gives her anxiety, but her mom died because she didn’t get one. If she’d gone, maybe she’d still be with them. Kyle is haunted by it. In LisaR’s interview, she thinks the anxiety leading up to the test is more frightening than the procedure. The radiologist shows LisaR her results on a laptop, and she’s good. More pictures are wanted from Kyle, and she freaks. In her interview, she says when she was turning thirty, her mom found a lump. Now here she is. They think the see something the day of daughter’s thirtieth birthday.

We all nervously wait. Kyle looks like she going to pass out, and starts crying. She tells LisaR that she has to wait. The radiologist apologizes, and tells Kyle it looks great. LisaR hugs her, and Kyle says she just got scared when they wanted to look again. LisaR says she’s all good, and the radiologist says it was just dense tissue.

Dorit tells PK she doesn’t think anyone will be coming to the party as Karl Lagerfeld, and he says he doesn’t think anyone can compete. In Dorit’s interview, she says she loves Halloween. PK is going as Karl, and she’s his kitty cat, Choupette. PK’s head is sweating in the wig already, and I feel his pain. I have given up on Halloween wigs at parties forever.

LisaR says she has to nail it. In her interview, she says when she dresses up, she’s one hundred million percent. She wants to get as close as she can to the look, and act the part. I’m sure she does. Can I start a Make LisaR Go Away page on Facebook?

Farrah’s party is being set up. Kyle says since Farrah was born on Halloween, they’ve always called it Farrahween. She’s flown Alexia home for the occasion. Kyle asks if Alexia’s dad has seen her outfit, and we see a clip of Mauricio wondering where the rest of it is. Kyle says their mom can dress like a tramp if she wants to. She’s going as a Playboy bunny, and has paid over $600 for what’s basically a black one-piece swimsuit and ears. The tail was an extra $45. If that’s what it means to be rich, I think I could do it better.

No surprise, the decorations are fabulous. Subtler, yet more lavish than Dorinda in the Berkshires. Teddi calls Kyle, who’s stuck in her expensive costume, since the zipper won’t work. She’s waiting for an Uber bringing her another one. Teddi says she’s about a block away, and Kyle asks her to entertain everyone until she figures out what she’s doing. Teddi is dressed as Harley Quinn (me two Halloweens ago), and arrives with Edwin Joker. A vampire jumps out at them. Teddi hates it. Denise follows, in a mini Marie Antoinette dress and wig, with Aaron wearing something Edwardian.

Kyle says she’s literally stuck, and has to pee. Mauricio says he can take it off. He hands her a new costume, and brings her new costume. He rips the back open on the one she’s stuck in, and she gets pissed, saying what if the new one doesn’t work?

Outside, Dorit freaks at the vampire jumping out. Erika says their costumes are clever. I’m surprised that she’s so boring as a leopard or something. LisaR comes as Erika, and Erika loves it. She says she saw herself. It wasn’t her, but it was her at Coachella. She says LisaR nailed it. In her interview, LisaR says, Erika is every girls dream; sexual, over-the-top, and can get away with anything. They start to wonder where Kyle is, and Teddi says, she had a wardrobe malfunction.

Kyle gets her new costume adjusted. Her daughters are like, omg, your butt is hanging out.

Kim arrives dressed as a modernized version of a gangster from the 40s. In LisaR’s interview, she says she was kind of shocked to see Kim. She wishes she’s had a heads up. My Lord, this woman needs to be apprised of everything. It is actually a family party. How shocked can she be? What a lame brain. Maybe they took out brain cells to plump her lips.

Denise can’t breathe in her costume, but Dorit says she looks hot, so that’s all that counts. Camille, as Catwoman, comes with a friend, and the morally corrupt Faye Resnick right behind her. In her interview, Dorit says she’s a fashionista cat, Erika is an exotic cat, and Camille is a stray cat. She wonders where Camille bought a mask to cover both her faces. Okay. Hate her too now. Kyle tells her not to say anything to Camille. In Dorit’s interview, she says she has terrible anxiety, not knowing what Camille said about her, but she just got married and it’s Farrah’s birthday. Oh gee. Think you might be able to control yourself for a whole evening? Denise says she’s always clueless, and we flash back to Denise saying she’s lost during one of the many Puppygate convos.

The birthday girl comes out, and we see Mauricio as Hugh Hefner. In Kyle’s interview, she says, earlier, she was facing the worst thing, and it’s a reminder to celebrate family and friends when you get the chance. She takes the mic, and says Farrah is an inspiration, and she can’t believe she has a child who’s thirty. In her interview, she says it’s every parent’s dream to see their child grow to be a responsible adult; self-sufficient, smart, and successful. She’s proud of Farrah, and proud of the job she and Mauricio did. They kind of know what they’re doing. She tells everyone to take a ride on Farrah’s wheel. The DJ begins to play music, and everyone dances. In her interview, Kyle says she got a silver Rolex for her thirtieth birthday. In Erika’s interview, she says she went to Vegas. Dorit says she had a surprise luncheon in Connecticut, and didn’t have Ferris wheel.

Kyle talks to the women about her mammogram. She suggests a spin on the wheel, and Dorit wants to know why they have to be first. Kyle’s seatbelt is stuck, much like her first costume. In Teddi’s interview, she says she promised not to bring anything up to Camille, but they ended up side by side. Kyle says, FML when she gets stuck at the top.

There’s a photographer, and the women get a group shot taken. LisaR, in character as Erika, tells Kim that giving the bunny back to LisaR was something [bleep]. In her interview, Kim says she and LisaR don’t have a good history. We flash back to several episodes where LisaR acted incredibly nosy and rude to Kim, ending with her returning the bunny to LisaR at the reunion. Because it lacked good energy. She says she didn’t mean to be crude, rude, or disrespectful, but she feels attacked. She’s not hearing anything from LisaR but see you next Tuesday. LisaR likes being Erika.

Kim asks Dorit if that wasn’t wrong on LisaR’s part. It was upsetting. Kyle says, it was uncalled for. Kim says, it was inappropriate and rude. Kyle thinks LisaR is holding a grudge. In Kim’s interview, she says LisaR is always looking for attention. Denise joins them, and Kim whines that LisaR was rude to her. In Denise’s interview, she says LisaR is one of her best friends (I’m sorry), and was hurt by the bunny situation. She tells Kim that she really hurt LisaR’s feelings. Kim doesn’t believe it. In her interview, Kim says Denise should stand back. This is between her and LisaR. Let it go. Kyle says Kim isn’t wrong, and to give her that. It wasn’t okay. Denise is sorry that Kim is feeling hurt. Kim says she’s not, and Denise asks what’s the problem then. Kyle doesn’t think Denise gets it. Denise says, who cares about some bunny? They need to let it go. Well, here’s the thing, Denise. LisaR is the one who brought it up. Hello? Is this thing on?

LisaR says she’s Erika tonight, and admits to saying something about the bunny. Dorit observes that there are still strong feelings about it. In her interview, Kim says there are two years of unresolved energy. We flash back to Kim calling out LisaR on saying Kim was near death when she was nothing of the kind. Erika wishes it was different between them. In her interview, LisaR says, giving back the bunny was rude. Kim asks Erika/LisaR if they’re good, and says she wants to get a message to LisaR. Denise suggests LisaR be herself in the moment. Kim asks to have a private chat, and they sit.

Kim tells LisaR that she’s not looking for a fight, and LisaR looks beautiful. LisaR realizes she’s been over-the-top in character. Kim asks if she wants to say she’s sorry, but LisaR says Kim still hasn’t apologized for the bunny moment. Kim says, what about her? They used to have a nice relationship, and she’d be happy to go back to that, but LisaR has to be nice. LisaR agrees what she did wasn’t appropriate, but neither was what Kim did. Kim asks if LisaR can’t see her side. In Kim’s interview, she says there’s a lot of damage to repair. She doesn’t regret giving back the bunny. She was hurt by a lot of things LisaR did. LisaR says Kim caught her off-guard. She was scared to see Kim, and reacted that way. In her interview, LisaR says Kim giving the bunny back was the most hurt she’s been by this group. We flash back to Kim giving LisaR back the bunny, and tears streaming down LisaR’s face. She says it was like a gut punch. Sorry. I have no sympathy for her. Kim can be a nut, but LisaR dogged her the whole season. And if that’s the most hurt LisaR has been, she doesn’t know what hurt is. She says she’s sorry for what happened between them. Can they move on? Kim suggests forgiving each other. LisaR is glad their having this conversation under a dead angel. They hug, and Kim says, miracles happen. You never know.

Next time, Brandi (bleh) meets with Denise (I love Denise, but not so much her choice of friends), Camille says Teddi has gotten too big for her britches, Kyle plans a girls trip to France, and Camille’s house burns down.

🐍 LisaR autocorrects to lizard. Just sayin’…

💩 Stupidest. Sh*t. Ever.

One more reason to look at LisaR with disgust.

https://radaronline.com/exclusives/2019/05/lisa-vanderpump-slammed-transphobic-by-rhob-cast/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

I rarely tweet, but I had to reply to this nonsense. You can say she was thoughtless. You can say the joke was tasteless or inappropriate. You can say a lot of things, but LVP is not transphobic. You, however, are a real piece of work, who should not be so proud of her big mouth.

But LVP remains a lady, acknowledging a poor choice of words.

https://www.eonline.com/news/1043707/lisa-vanderpump-apologizes-for-poor-choice-of-words-after-transphobic-comment-about-erika-jayne

And Vanderpump still rules.

https://pagesix.com/2019/05/24/lisa-vanderpump-is-in-front-of-the-cameras-again/

🎡 Some Housewives Fun…

Just to balance it a little.

https://pagesix.com/video/denise-richards-hooker-reveal-and-more-hot-housewives-news/

💸 The Breakup…

Did Fifty/Fitty/Fofty come between Lala and her man?

https://betches.com/did-lala-kent-randall-emmett-break-up-because-of-foftygate/

Just because I didn’t even know Perez Hilton was still alive.

https://perezhilton.com/vanderpump-rules-lala-kent-randall-emmett-breakup-rumors/

👑 Because Why Not?

And because Candace gave me an earworm.

 

 

 

May 21, 2019 – Ryan Goes To the Ball, Justin Takes a Shot Or Two, Camille Gets Married, LVP Agreement, Behind the Ball & Still Feelin’ It

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Robert tells Finn, don’t just stand there. Pick it up; it’s your ring. Finn comes onstage. He picks up the ring. Everyone gets excited and or shocked. He gets on one knee, says this is not how he wanted to do this, and asks Anna to marry him. We hold our collective breath.

Cameron asks Josslyn if she remembers after Oscar’s motorcycle ride, how he asked Cameron to stay on the terrace, and there was something he wanted to talk about. Oscar had him record a message, and he wanted her to hear it tonight.

Kristina asks if she’s interrupting, and then says she doesn’t care. She wants to speak to Sam in private. She tells Sam, the closer she gets to Shiloh, the worse she’ll get hurt.

Doc wants to check in with Laura. Ava hopes Laura and Curtis have news. Doc leaves a message, saying he knows the cell reception is patchy up there, but he’d like to hear her voice. Call when she gets this. Ava asks if Doc is sure about the reception. What if they found Ryan?

Laura and Curtis lie unconscious, while things burn around them.

Anna says she doesn’t know, and Finn says, okay. His bad. He starts to leave, but she grabs him. She says she didn’t mean that. She means yes. She’d love to marry him. He asks her to say it louder for the tables in the back. She takes the mic, looks out, and says, yes, Hamilton Finn. She’ll marry him. He puts the ring on her finger, and everyone cheers. They kiss, and Robert gets teary. Anna tells Finn that she likes the ring.

Cameron tells Josslyn that Oscar made him delete the original, so she has the only copy. Like the CD Drew gave Kim that they listened to. He says he’s got to go; Lucy will have a stroke if he’s late. Josslyn asks him if he’s not staying to watch it with her. He says he recorded it, so he knows what Oscar said, but it’s Oscar’s last chance to talk to her, and he thinks Oscar wanted her to hear it alone. He leaves.

Jax tells Alexis that he got a text from Josslyn. Kristina left the house alone. Alexis thinks they should call her, but Neil says she’ll think they don’t trust her. Alexis says that’s what scares her.

Sam tells Kristina not to be ridiculous. Shiloh isn’t going to hurt her. Kristina wants to tell her the truth about DOD. It’s a cult, and Shiloh is more than a liar.

Ava tells Doc that they should stick to the plan to draw Ryan out of hiding. He agreed, and can’t back out now. He says in the absence of a better alternative, he’ll stick to the plan.

Curtis comes to. He shakes Laura, and tells her to stay with him. We hear sirens, and he says help is on the way.

Robert toasts to Anna and Finn. May they have the best of everything. Brad tells Lucas, it wouldn’t be the Nurses Ball without an impromptu proposal. Lucas says like when Brad proposed to him? They were hopeful then, but now Brad turns to everyone except him. Brad asks if they’re really having this conversation now? Lucas says, yep. They need to have it somewhere. He knows something is going on, and wants Brad to tell him what it is.

Chase congratulates Anna, and welcomes her to the family. He tells Finn that he never doubted him. Not to his face anyway. He says he’s kidding; he loves Finn. They hug.

Elizabeth tells Franco that she’s happy for Finn. Anna too, but he was torn up about it. Franco seems distracted, and says Lucy texted him about a backdrop that’s broken, and makes her promise she won’t leave. She says, okay, and he kisses her. She looks after him, puzzled.

Peter congratulates Anna, and says he’s happy for them both. They hug, and Anna says, it means a lot. Peter thinks they should give Anna and Finn a chance to celebrate on their own. Finn tells Anna that her speech was beautiful. She says she meant it. He knows how important the night is to her, but she says she’s good with leaving early. He seconds that. They kiss, and jet.

Josslyn puts the disk in her laptop. Oscar says, if you’re seeing this, it means I’m gone. He wish they’d had more time together, but he’s grateful for the time they got. It’s her turn now. She still has everything ahead of her, and he wants her to live her life to the fullest. Starting tonight. When she sings their song at the Nurses Ball, he wants her to know she’s singing for both of them.

Cameron comes back. Elizabeth asks where he went, and he says he had to take care of something for a friend.

Lucy hopes everyone is having as much fun as she is. She’s kind of excited about the next performance. She thinks they’ll have fun with this performer, who’s been known to steal the show. But the only thing she’s guilty of tonight, as far as Lucy knows, is giving her all for a worthy cause. She tells them to put their hands together for Obrecht. Obrecht comes out in a black dress with a blue sequin fur-trimmed cape with disco ball lights spinning, and begins to sing Guilty. Franco joins her halfway through in a duet.  Everyone loves it.

Felicia gushes over the proposal to Lucy. She’s sad for Robert, but Anna and Finn are perfect for each other. Lucy says she can’t say the same for Doc and Ava. There’s something fishy going on, and asks what Felicia knows about this.

EMTs examine Curtis and Laura. Curtis asks where the police are; he needs to talk to a cop. Laura says Ryan is probably at the border by now. They need to alert the authorities in Port Charles. He might be there already. I’d love to know how they get to Canada just as fast as they get to NYC.

Elizabeth wonders why Franco didn’t tell her. He says he wanted it to be a surprise. She says consider her surprised, and kisses him.

Cameron looks around outside.

Josslyn comes down in an amazing dress with tiers of silver and rose gold. For someone who didn’t want to go, she looks fabulous. She looks toward the laptop, says, I’m doing this for you, and leaves.

Shiloh asks if Kristina wasn’t more herself at DOD? Didn’t she trust herself more, and was more content? Sam is part of the family now; why doesn’t she come with them? He says, come home to DOD, and holds out his hand. Like magic, Sonny appears, and tells Shiloh, stay away from his daughter. He tells Kristina to go stand with her mother. Shiloh says Kristina can’t let her father control her forever. His door is always open. Sonny says his door is about to close permanently. He messed with the wrong family, and it’s going to cost him everything. Alexis takes Kristina away, and Sonny smiles at Shiloh. It’s one of those moments where I love Sonny so much, I can’t stand it.

Alexis asks what possessed Kristina to come there. Kristina says she and Josslyn were looking at pictures from the Nurses Ball, and she saw Sam with Shiloh. Sam has fallen under Shiloh’s spell like she did, and no one is doing anything about it.

Shiloh and Sam sit with Brad and Lucas. Lucas is surprised that Sam and Shiloh are together, and Shiloh says Sam has been taking classes. Lucas should stop by. He thinks there are some things Lucas would be interested in. He tells Brad the upper level courses are starting soon.

Willow’s phone rings. She says she’s been waiting for this call, and excuses herself. She slams right into Nina, spilling Nina’s drink. Nina tells her, watch where you’re going, and Willow says, one good thing about losing her job is, she doesn’t have to take Nina’s crap anymore. Shiloh watches her leave.

Cameron practices backstage. Elizabeth asks if he’s nervous. He says, no. It’s just that he was thinking about all the people not there tonight.

Josslyn walks in. She goes over to Carly and Jax. Jax asks what changed her mind. She says she got a message from Oscar. They look at her funny, and she says, an actual message. He recorded it before, and Cameron brought it. Oscar said he wanted her to perform their song at the Nurses Ball. She doesn’t know if she’s there yet, but one step at a time. Jax says it’s all any of them can do.

Lucy is excited and thrilled to introduce the next performer, and asks the audience to welcome Cameron. Accompanying himself on the guitar, he sings a song he wrote himself, I’ll Be Your Star. Or at least that’s the title I’m getting from the lyrics.

Sonny says he thought Alexis was taking Kristine home, but Alexis says she won’t go. Kristina wants to help Sam, but Neil says she’s still in recovery. If she tries to help Sam, they’ll both be vulnerable to Shiloh. Kristina says she’ll leave on one condition. Sonny has to say there and keep an eye on Shiloh. Sonny says she doesn’t even have to ask. Kristina leaves with Alexis, and Sonny glares at Shiloh.

On the phone in the hallway, Willow says, everything is not okay. He knew nothing about the adoption. He didn’t even know she was pregnant. She’ll tell them more when she sees them tomorrow. She hangs up, and Nina is there behind her. Nina says, she had a child?

Josslyn comes backstage, and she and Cameron hug. She says he was amazing. She asks if he wrote it himself, and he says he did. (This is after I knock myself out trying to find the song title online using the lyrics.) He says he had a lot on his mind, and writing music helps. She thanks him for bringing Oscar’s message, and being someone Oscar could trust. He’s a great friend.

Laura tells the EMT that she’s mayor of Port Charles. She asks him to arrange a helicopter to get them back immediately. Call whoever he needs to check her credentials, but do it fast. Curtis says he needs access to a phone. He and Laura hug.

Lucy pokes Doc, and says, apparently, there’s a delivery person there from a florist with two dozen long stemmed roses. He has to personally sign for said roses. Doc says Ava is performing, and he wanted to surprise her with a tribute. Lucy says the only tribute Ava deserves is poison ivy, while I wonder who uses the word tribute like that?

Chase’s phone rings. It’s Curtis, who tells Chase to listen to him. Ryan Chamberlain is alive, and on his way back to Port Charles.

Back at home, Finn tells Anna, it’s only sparkling cider, but she says she’s just happy to be celebrating with her husband-to-be. He likes the sound of that. He toasts to their life together, and they clink glasses. She ask why it had to be this ring in particular; why was it so important? He says he looked at a lot of rings, but didn’t feel as strongly about them. The jeweler said it was a rare Monacan blue sapphire, and he knew. She says, Monaco, and he says where she first blackmailed him into working with her. She says he loved it, and he says, not at first. She insists he did. He says that trip changed his life, so he bought the ring, and waited for the exact perfect moment – which wasn’t in front of a ballroom full of people, but that’s the way it happened. She was kind enough to say yes, and here they are. They kiss, and get busy.

Sonny comes back in, and hugs Josslyn. He’s glad she made it, and she says she had a lot of help. Carly tells Sonny that Jax is sitting with them. Sonny tells him, welcome, and says it’s always nice to see Cameron. Cameron says, it’s nice to be seen. Sonny says, it’s good to have a full table. Jax wonders if Alexis is okay, and Sonny says a problem came up.

Lucas tells Brad that he doesn’t recall Brad saying that he was taking more classes. Brad leaves to get refills, and Shiloh says there’s something he needs to take care of. Lucas asks if Sam is in DOD, and she asks if he has concerns about it. He says it seems a little intense to him.

Nina says Willow is a mother? and Willow accuses her of eavesdropping. She asks what is it with Nina? She’s been making Willow’s life miserable since they met. No wonder Charlotte is the way she is. Nina says no wonder Willow can’t handle her classroom. She can’t take care of own child. Yes, she went there. She tells Willow, have a nice life. Willow turns to follow her, and Shiloh is standing there.

Lucy says she’s so proud of all of them. Donations are rolling in. She thanks them, and says Cameron was adorable and amazing, but now they’re getting a change of pace.

Curtis tells Laura that Chase is contacting the authorities and the PCPD. Laura say she has to contact Doc, but gets voicemail. She leaves a message, Ryan is alive and on his way back. Please be careful.

Lucy says the next performer told them last year that they don’t own her. Who would want to? Not Lucy. We see Doc unconscious backstage, and Ryan taking a rose from Ava’s bouquet.

Ava takes the stage, and sings You’re Just Too Good to Be True. It’s an odd, but cool variation, like American Music Club’s cover of The Carpenters’ Goodbye to Love. Background dancers put her on the piano, along with a martini that she sips when the song is done, amidst fog from a machine.  I’m guessing Ryan is going to pop out of the fog like Alice Cooper.

Tomorrow, Josslyn tells Lucy that she can’t sing, Shiloh tells Willow not to lie to him, and Scotty sees Ryan.

The Haves and The Have Nots

When we last left, Justin was holding a gun to Jeffrey’s head, and his own.

At David’s place, Madison says David is bleeding; what happened? David says, just patch him up. Madison says he forgot David and his son are cut from the same superhero cloth. David says, that punk pulled a gun on him. Madison asks if he’s okay, and David says he nailed Justin’s ass to the floor. Madison asks where Jeffrey is, and David says, he’s still there. Madison tells David, that’s not good. If he pulled a gun on David, imagine what he’ll do to Jeffrey. David says he’ll take care of Justin. Madison says, do it soon. He’s seen this kind of thing escalate. He didn’t want Jeffrey to go there, and David says that makes two of them. Madison says, that boy is unstable, and David says, that punk needs be dealt with, and he’ll do it quickly. Madison has to get back to work, and tells David, if it keeps bleeding, he’ll probably have to come in.

Justin tells Jeffrey, this is the way has to be. Jeffrey says he told Justin not to do this again. Justin says, one has a bullet; the other doesn’t. it’s either him or Jeffrey. Let fate decide. If Jeffrey doesn’t want him, one of them has to go. Justin counts to three, and shoots. It looks like Jeffrey was shot, but they both fell, so I’m not sure.

Candace dances around the hotel room, and sips champagne, while Charles lies in bed an smiles. He says, it’s nice to see her smiling. She seems so happy, and it’s okay to let him know. He says she’s still afraid of letting go; being okay, and putting herself in his hands. She says he’s a man. Does he know how hard it is for her to trust anyone, especially a man? He says she’ll have to let it go. She says, especially a powerful man. He says she’s met his kids. He’s a good guy. She says she saw how mad he can get, and it’s scary. He tells her, just admit she’s happy. She says she’s… having a good time. He bets it feels good not looking over her shoulder. She says she’s been doing it since she was seventeen. He can’t expect her to undo it overnight. Be patient. He says she can start by saying she’s happy. She says she did lose her son. He says he doesn’t know what that’s like, and God forbid he ever does. He’s just saying it’s nice to see her smiling and looking up. She thanks him. He wants her to make love to him. It’s what he’s feeling right now. They kiss.

Kathryn sits at the Artisian bar. Kathryn sees Roderick flirting with another woman, and says, this is the game you want to play. She asks Rocky for another. Neat. Rocky tells RK that he left a sink full of dirty dishes when he took off. RK says, his bad, and Rocky says he’s full of it. RK apologizes, and says he needs some cash. He’ll pay Rocky back. Rocky says he doesn’t have any, but RK insists he does. Rocky asks what RK has gotten himself into. RK says Veronica wants him to seduce her son. He just needs to get her jewelry out of the pawn shop. Rocky says he told RK to leave that woman alone. RK asks if he’s going to help or not, and Rocky says, no. Go wash dishes.

Kathryn calls Hanna, who asks if she knows what time it is. Is everything okay? Kathryn says it is, and that she loves Hanna. Hanna asks if she’s all right, and where is she? Kathryn says she’s at the bar at her hotel. Hanna asks if she’s drinking, and Kathryn says, uh-huh. She had to get out, and away from Jim. She’s so disgusted over the Derrick thing. Hanna says, her too. Kathryn says Hanna has no idea how bad she feels, and Hanna asks how Kathryn thinks she feels. Kathryn is still worried, but Hanna says she’s okay. Kathryn has been calling him, but he hasn’t returned her calls. Hanna doesn’t care, but Kathryn does. She wants to tell him how she feels. Hanna doesn’t want to talk about him. She wants to forget about him and that night. She tells Kathryn she’s going to the bank first thing in the morning and getting the money back to give to Jim. Kathryn says, he’s not going to bother Benny anymore. Hanna says, but it’s Kathryn’s money, and she has another favor to ask. She feels like she’s always asking for help, and Kathryn has done so much for her already. Kathryn says, anything, and Hanna says she’ll take the job at the hotel, but wants Kathryn to keep the first checks until Hanna can pay her back. Kathryn asks, what’s going on? and Hanna says, Benny is in trouble again. She wants to keep the interest until she can pay Kathryn back. Kathryn says, do that. Hanna says she sounds drunk, and asks if she should ask again when Kathryn is sober. Kathryn says, the answer will be the same. Hanna asks if Kathryn wants a ride home, but Kathryn says if she needs a ride, she’ll call Frederick to pick her up. They’ll talk in the morning.

Kathryn asks Rocky for another, and asks, who is that girl? Rocky says, she works accounting. Kathryn says Roderick is trying to make her jealous, but Rocky doesn’t think it’s like that. She says he can come to the room, but he says, sorry. She says, fine; what about that kid? indicating RK. Rocky says, he is a kid. She tells him give her some more, but he says he’s closing the bar. She says she owns the place. He suggests he get her a ride, and she asks if he’s kicking her out of her own bar. He thinks she should head home, and she says she needs to wait for her driver. Rocky asks RK to give her a ride home, explaining she owns the bar. Kathryn says, let’s do this. Roderick says hello as she passes, but she looks straight ahead, one hand holding her drink, and the other on RK’s arm. Rocky tells Roderick that Kathryn is pissed at him. Roderick knows, and Rocky hopes he knows what he’s doing, because she’s making his life a hell. Roderick asks what she said, and Rocky says, nothing, but she’s watching him like a hawk. Roderick says, then it’s working. Rocky says, be careful. Roderick asks where RK is going, and Rocky says he’s giving Kathryn a ride home. Roderick says, this will be interesting. Good. She’ll have to work for it. Rocky tells him again, be careful, but Roderick says he’s got this. I feel badly for Rocky. He’s gotten the short end of the stick since Candace beat the crap out of him.

The Attorney General is on the phone with Scott, who just checked in at the Artisian. Ground zero. The AG (whose name I think could possibly be Warren, but I’m still not sure) tells him they’re going to shake these folks up. He asks if a reporter is still at the hotel, and tells Scott to tell her that he has a story about the President Elect’s girlfriend that will knock her socks off. Scott thinks they should get more information first, but the AG says there will be a treasure trove. He’s there; get on it. Call her now. Scott says, it’s late, but the AG says the reporter will be happy. That bitch messed with the wrong one.

Candance talks in her sleep, obviously distressed. Charles puts the light on, and she sits up, startled. He says, it’s okay. She says, her son. She has to get out of there; she needs fresh air. He tells her, relax. Breathe. Tell him what it is. She says, being there doesn’t feel right with him gone. Charles holds her, and says, it’s okay. He can’t imagine how hard it is, but she’s allowed to have good in her life. She says she’s going to be okay, and he promises she will be.

RK pulls in Kathryn’s driveway. She’s sleeping, and he rouses her. He says it’s a nice car, and helps her out. She says she had too much. He says, maybe. He brings her to the door. He says, nice house, and she thanks him. She says, him and Veronica, huh? He acts ignorant, and she says she heard him talking. He’s sleeping with her, huh? He says, no, and she says, stop lying. What she doesn’t understand is, why does Veronica want him to flirt with Jeffrey? It doesn’t make sense. Her son is gay, and she hates it. She would do anything to make him not be gay. Why would she want him to flirt with Jeffrey? Is he gay? He says, no, and she says, something strange is going on. Veronica is always up to something. RK suggests they get her inside.

RK goes inside with Kathryn, and says, damn. This is fly sh*t. She says there are no flies in there, but he says he’s talking about the house. She asks if that’s a good thing, and he says it is. He’s wondering how he’s getting home, and she says he can call a cab. He says, or take the car, and she says, sure. She’ll get it tomorrow. She wants him to help her upstairs, and says then she’ll call him a cab. He says she just told him that he can take the car, but she says, that depends on what happens upstairs. He says, the cougar thing, but she says she’s more of a lion. Wyatt pops out, and asks, what now? She tells him, go to bed, and he asks if she’s drunk. She says not enough for his bullsh*t. Jim comes out asking if a man can’t watch TV in his own house. He asks who RK is, and Wyatt says, her lover. Kathryn says, he works at the hotel. Wyatt says, she was there with her Latin lover. Now, she’s with… Where is RK from? RK says, Nicaragua. Jim tells Wyatt, go to bed. Kathryn tells RK, goodnight, and thanks him. He asks Jim how he’s getting home. Jim says he’ll give RK money for a cab, and hands him a hundred dollar bill, saying, it’s real. Get the hell out, but first, he’d like the keys back. RK says Kathryn was going to let him drive, and Jim laughs, saying, a $250K car. RK says he drove here in it, but Jim says he’s not driving back in it. He offered RK money, and he took it. He has the keys in his pocket, and Jim would like the keys and money back. He wants them back or he’s going to put his foot up RK’s Nicaraguan ass. RK accuses him of being racist, and leaves. As he goes upstairs, Jim says Nicaraguan isn’t racist. What the hell? The world’s gone crazy.

RK stands outside, and says, no money, no ride, no cab, nothing. It’s crazytown. Wyatt comes climbs down from his window, nearly giving RK a heart attack. RK says, what the hell? Sneaking up on him. He’s a black belt in karate. What is he doing, sneaking out a window. Wyatt asks if RK wants to make some money. Can he score? RK says, he’s Wyatt. Wyatt asks how he knows, and RK says Wyatt’s mom told him about Wyatt in the car. She told him Wyatt’s got it bad. Wyatt says he’s got crazy money, and RK says, she left that out. What does he want? Wyatt asks what RK can get. RK wants the money first, but Wyatt says, come back with some coke, throw a rock at his window, and he’ll give RK the money. RK asks if he looks like an errand boy. What’s in it for him? Wyatt says he’ll pay him double, and RK says, deal. They shake. RK asks how Wyatt expects him to get there and back. He came in Wyatt’s mom’s car. Wyatt says he he can take her car, but RK needs the keys. Jim took them. Wyatt says, hang tight. He’ll get the spare. He goes inside, and RK says, yes, Lord. You’ve been listening to my prayers. He tells the car, me and you are going on a ride.

Kathryn asks Jim why he’s on the bed. Jim says he’s warning her about the kid, and she asks if he’s afraid he’s getting replaced. He tells her to listen to him, but she laughs, and says, no. This what women feel like when a man with money leaves them for a little twerp. Jim says RK is making a fool of her, and she says like all those girls did with him. He’s just upset that if she leaves, he’ll be broke and out in the cold. He says she’s not leaving him; she wouldn’t dare. She tells him, don’t be so sure. He says he’s not kidding. Leave the boy at the hotel alone. She says like he left his whores? She’s just getting started. She’s nowhere near his numbers. She’s going to let Hanna keep all the money; he won’t have a dime. Jim says, Hanna’s not keeping it, but Kathryn says she’s going to let her. He tells her that he means what he says, and she says, whatever. Get out of her house.

Outside, RK says, Prince of Bel Air type sh*t. Wyatt comes back out, and gives RK the keys, telling him, be back in an hour. RK says just worry about having his money. Wyatt tells him to keep the lights off until he gets to the end of the driveway. Wyatt goes back in, and RK jets to the car. Jim sees Wyatt, and asks what he’s doing down there. Wyatt says, getting away from them. Jim tells him, if he goes outside that door, someone will kill him. Wyatt asks if it looks like he’s leaving, and asks what Jim is doing. Jim says, going out, and Wyatt suggests he go to bed. Jim laughs, opens the door, and says, where is Kathryn’s car? Wyatt says he doesn’t know, and Jim says, that little SOB. He tells Wyatt to go to bed. Wyatt says, you go to bed, but Jim says, you first. Wyatt heads upstairs, and Jim tells him, wait up.

Veronica walks into David’s house. She says he hasn’t returned her calls. He says he needed a moment to think. She says because of what she said about his whore? He asks why she’s doing this, and she says he knows. He says she wants to punish him because he hurt her. She says, yes. Is he hurt? He says, very. Does it make her feel better? She says, it’s a start. He hit her, and slept with those women. He tells her she already said that, and she asks if he has attitude about that now. He says he has to pay a penance. He supposes it’s justice. She asks if he’s playing her, and he says, no. She’s been thinking about how they can beat the grand jury. He says, how? and she says he’s eager to hear what she has to say now. She wants him to make love to her the way he used to. He says he’d love to do that, but… She says, what? He says his back is burned really bad. She sorry he’s in a lot of pain right now, but she has to go. It still smells like dime store perfume. She tells him that Erica was with a lot of men. It’s probably good they’re not having sex, because he probably needs to get himself checked out. She wants to see that bloodwork. He says, good idea. He’d like to see hers as well, since she was with Benny and that other boy. She says, now the ice queen is the condom queen. He asks why she let him sleep with Erica if she knew Erica was a whore? She says she tried to tell him. Whatever he caught, he deserves it. He asks if she’s telling him that he has a disease, and she says she’s telling him that she doesn’t know, but it’s possible. She says the longer she stays, the more angry she gets. He says he knows; he bought this house for her, but another woman was living in it. She says he’s finally getting it. Keep being that honest, and she might take him back. She kisses him, and tells him to take back what he said about killing her. He says he takes it back; he was so angry. She says, okay, and tells him, have a good night. He says, you too, sweetheart, but when she’s gone, he adds, enjoy your last few days on this earth.

Jim pulls up in front of Hanna’s house, and calls Benny. He tells Benny, come outside. Benny asks what he wants. He ain’t goin’ nowhere. Jim says he doesn’t think Benny want him coming in there with his mother home. Benny tells him, come on in. Make it easy. He’ll tell the police Jim broke in before he killed his monkey ass. Jim threatens to break the door down, and Benny says, on second thought, he’s coming down. Benny comes outside, and asks wtf Jim wants. Jim says he wants his money, and Benny says he’s out of luck there. Jim says, no; Benny is. Benny says, nice car. Get his ass in it, and get out of here. Jim doesn’t scare him. Jim says the stab wound didn’t scare Benny? and Benny asks if he wants to go again. Jim says he’s being as patient as he can be with him and his mom. Benny suggests Jim not talk about his mother, and Jim says, then get his sorry ass to the bank. Benny says he ain’t doin’ sh*t. Jim says if Benny doesn’t give the money back, he’s done. Benny laughs, and Jim asks if Benny thinks it’s funny. Benny guesses they’re done together. Come at him again… Jim says he thought this was fair. It’s the last thing he’s saying to Benny. Benny says, shut up then. Jim tells him, have a good night. It’s likely to be his last. He drives away, and Benny goes inside.

At the hospital, Madison is getting ready to leave, and tells the other reception nurse to have a good weekend. She asks if he doesn’t have some days off, but he says he still has to be at the Harrington’s. She says he should be glad he’s leaving. There are two gunshot wounds in the head coming in. He says, good luck to them, and starts to leave, but stops. He asks where she heard that, and she says the police scanner. They’re on their way. He asks where they’re coming from. She tells him the address, and he looks at Justin’s address on his phone. He says, oh my God, and calls Jeffrey. He gets voicemail, and leaves a message for Jeffrey to call back as soon as he gets it. He asks if she can get the names, and she says he can get them from the EMTs. They’ll be there in a minute.

Next time, Scott asks Roderick about Candace, Jim tells Wyatt the Malones will kill him, and David cries, which doesn’t seem too good for Jeffrey.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

LVP goes to see polygrapher John, bringing along John Blizzard. (I almost called him John Snowball, somehow mashing him up with Game of Thrones) Puffy! We flash back to everyone not believing LVP didn’t leak the Dorit story. In her interview, LVP knows 100% that she’s not guilty. She wouldn’t do this otherwise. She’s not as stupid as she looks. She explains Puppygate to the polygrapher, who couldn’t care less, but says if she’s lying, he’ll know it. He asks the usual bland questions, like, do you live in Texas? Then he asks if Dorit’s face has changed as much as her accent. John Snowstorm Blizzard says he had to throw that in. The polygrapher asks about giving the story to Radar Online, and several other related questions. When he’s finished, LVP asks if they can do it again; she was nervous. Polygrapher John says the scoring program agrees with him that there’s zero chance she’s lying on the questions of importance. In her interview, she isn’t sure what she’s going to do with this. She might keep it in her back pocket, and shove it up their asses if she sees them, just to prove they’re barking up the wrong tree. It would be awesome if we found out Teddi was really the one who leaked it.

In her interview, Kyle says they’re all going to Hawaii for Camille’s wedding. It’s a long way to go, but she’s their friend. They can also afford it. I know I’d have to decline that invite unless Camille was buying. Kyle thinks it’s funny, going back to the dinner party from hell. We flash back to that. Now look – she’s a bridesmaid. Alexia asks if that’s Kyle’s airplane outfit, and Kyle tells her, don’t judge. The bridesmaids dress arrived at the eleventh hour, but needed alterations. Kyle says it’s not her fault she has big boobs that are natural.

Everyone packs. Teddi tells Edwin to pack, and she doesn’t mean at the last minute tomorrow, which will make her a crazy person. I’m totally guilty of being a last minute packer.

The women meet on the plane. In LisaR’s interview, she thinks a destination wedding is nice. There’s no one who doesn’t want to go to Hawaii. People are happy there. Again, as long as she’s paying. BTW, needless to say, they’re in first class.

As they get into the airport limo, Mauricio asks if Teddi is a bridesmaid. She says she was practically not invited. In her interview, she says she doesn’t think a wedding weekend is the time to dig up past issues (like this isn’t going to happen), so she’s being a good person and showing up. During the ride, Kyle says Camille’s sex talk when they went camping was next level. LisaR says they should make hand gestures when she comes down the aisle. In her interview, LisaR says it’s not hard on Harry when she’s gone. She’s not in a co-dependent relationship with her husband. They’re okay with being away from each other. This translates into Harry didn’t want to be in this episode.

The hotel is gorgeous, and the view is amazing. Teddi says, it feels peaceful. LisaR is coughing, and orders hot water, lemon, and honey from room service. She’s hoping to nip it in the bud. In Kyle’s interview, she says she has no idea what’s happening on the trip. She’s killing it as a bridesmaid.

Camille greets them at the pool and thanks them for coming. David is off with his friends, but she wanted them to get a feel of the island. In her interview, Camille says Hawaii is near and dear to her heart. She brought the kids there when they were young, and she has a lot of memories from that. She also went there to heal from her divorce. We flash back to how devastated she was. She says she’s getting married to David, and there are great things ahead. She tells the group that they have a busy day, but she wants to tell them what happened. LVP wanted to talk to her, and explained why she’s not coming, and a little about her falling out with Kyle. She didn’t want to make the day about her. Kyle says LVP never responded to her texts or emails. In her interview, Kyle thinks using her as an excuse is a cheap shot. Camille says, Kyle is in a tough position. Dorit asks how Camille feels about it. Camille says she wanted LVP to be there. A year from now, they’ll be saying how ridiculous this all is. LisaR says LVP has no issue with Camille, and Camille agrees. LisaR says weddings are a way of bringing people together. No matter what, you show up. In LisaR’s interview, she says LVP made it clear that she wants nothing to do with them. She doesn’t get it. She respects LVP, but she’s done with it. The end.

Everyone gets in the water. Kyle sits on the paddleboard, and uses it like a canoe. She finally stands, but hits a rock, so she’s back down again. In her interview, she says she doesn’t want to work this hard. She says she’s going back to the beach. She’s done.

Meanwhile in Malibu, Denise calls Aaron. In her interview, she says she’s getting ready to shoot a movie, but she’d rather be in Hawaii than Connecticut in winter. Patrick Muldoon comes by. He asks what she thinks of the script, and she says, it’s cute. In Denise’s interview, she says she’s known him since she was nineteen. They dated off and on, and now they’re getting ready to do a Christmas movie together. She doesn’t think of it as working with ex-boyfriend, but working with a friend. They go over the script. Patrick tells her that she’s always had a thing for bad boys. In her interview, Denise says that one Thanksgiving, Charlie had a hooker sitting in a car in her driveway. She said she’d set an effing plate. Even a hooker deserves Thanksgiving dinner. She asks if Patrick is considered a bad boy, and they laugh.

The women get ready for a big dinner at Camille’s house. Kyle points out that Dorit brought seven pairs of sunglasses. Dorit says, a girl needs options. I don’t find that many pairs unreasonable, and think it’s funny coming from Kyle. Everyone gets in the limo, and they head to Camille’s place mansion, which is unbelievably huge. In Camille’s interview, she says there was a little awkwardness with Teddi. She’s not happy with their relationship, but she’s glad Teddi made the effort to come. Camille tells LisaR that when she disappears, this is where she goes. It’s her house. It’s her own, and she’s proud of it. David and Camille’s daughter Mason join them. Kyle asks where Camille’s mom is, and Camille says, in the hospital. In her interview, Kyle says Camille’s mom has been sick for the last ten years. We see a clip of Camille talking to her mom about a new doctor. In Camille’s interview, she says her mom has been spending time on the east coast, but didn’t want her to postpone the wedding. She’s been praying that her mom feels better, and can be there. Kyle feels like she will be there. In Kyle’s interview, she feels badly about Camille’s mom not being there. With everything Camille’s been through; her own cancer, now her mother might not be able to come. Other than the groom, she’s the most important person for Camille to have there. They sit down for dinner. BTW, there are a lot of people there, and quite a few tables.

LisaR tells Camille that Erika sends her love, and wishes she could be there. A fantastic dinner is served. In her interview, Kyle says the pasta in a cheese wheel has followed her. The dress finally zips, and she’s eating pasta. She swears she’s being sabotaged. In Teddi’s interview, she says she normally is not a carb person in the evening, but she’s giving herself an out. Teddi asks what’s LisaR’s favorite and least favorite thing about Harry. LisaR says Harry is a good person, but he chews blue gum. In Kyle’s interview, she says, twenty years, and that’s all LisaR can say? Someone is not forthcoming. Edwin says he loves that Teddi is organized, but hates that she’s always on his ass. It’s kind of the same thing. Kyle says he’ll be dead by sunrise. She says she loves that Mauricio is always upbeat (he is!), but her least favorite thing is his immaturity level sometimes. Mauricio says his least favorite thing is that Kyle is stubborn, but his favorite thing is her sense of humor. She makes him laugh, and she’s an incredible mother. She’s amazing. He kisses her, and Teddi says Edwin is dead.

In Camille’s interview, she says her ex had a reputation of being a bad boy, but with David, it’s different. Totally different. LisaR asks if it’s okay if she leaves early, and Camille says she needs to go to bed early too. In her interview, Camille says she’s excited to have her friends there to celebrate her taking the next step. In the limo back, Teddi tells Edwin, what’s organized is her legs to be closed for the rest of the trip. Edwin says he would never want a Playboy chick, and LisaR says she is that chick/

Dorit visits LisaR, who can barely talk. Thank God for small favors. She says she feels okay; she just can’t talk. Dorit suggests some good tea and cough drops, but LisaR thinks spending time resting her voice is a good idea.

Teddi and Edwin sit in a pseudo tide pool. Edwin says normally, the kids would be there. Teddi asks if he thinks the kids feel the difference with her working so much. We see clips of her working while being with the kids, and the kids whining. She loves the idea of more time, but doesn’t know if she wants to sell 50% of her business. Her gut is saying she’s happy. In her interview, she says the business is huge, and she’s been approached to sell a portion of the company. We see a clip of a meeting with a business consultant. She says, it’s great financially, and great for more time, but it will no longer be her baby. It will be a group decision. She wants the kids to know she’s always there. Edwin says the most important thing is that she’s happy. If she’s happy, she’ll make the kids happy.  She doesn’t need to worry. He kisses her, and she says she’s a worrier. He says if she doesn’t do it she might blame it on the kids one day.

In Middletown, Connecticut, Denise works on her film. In her interview, she says it makes her feel good that Aaron isn’t jealous. He respects her relationship with Patrick. Charlie didn’t. While they were married, she wasn’t allowed to talk to him. They talk to Barbara Eden, who’s also in the movie. She tells them, a genie’s not a woman, she’s an entity, which they somehow find deep. In her interview, Denise thinks, it would be fun to wear a cool outfit and live in a bottle.

In Hawaii, Kyle says she and Mauricio always go to Mexico. He says, as they get older, they have to think about where they want to spend the majority of their time. Kyle says she’s more of a mountain person than a beach person. They also have to think about when their kids have kids. Mauricio wonders where his name is going to go, since they only have daughters. He asks if they should just have another kid. She asks where was he when she asked before? In her interview, she say she hates to burst his bubble, but does he know how old she is? He says there’s another thing need talk about; finishing their wills. It’s not fair to the kids. In Kyle’s interview, she says when the girls were little, it was more about who would take them, and now that they’re older, it’s easier, but it’s still scary as hell. Mauricio talks about some test where they scored high in terms of health, and she swears by green juice.

Camille has pre-wedding preparations to do, and Kyle doesn’t know the responsibilities of a bridesmaid. They sit for dinner, and Dorit asks for tea for LisaR. Kyle says she’s never heard LisaR so quiet, and Dorit says she’ll speak for her. Mauricio has a problem focusing, and winks at Kyle. In her interview, Kyle says, something seems a little off. She thinks he’s been enjoying the island life, and partaking in some of their offerings. Mauricio says he’s happy for them. They’re nice, two people who have the opportunity for a second turn. Hopefully, the ultimate goal is to be with someone to the end, and he genuinely feels they’re good for each other. He laughs, and they all laugh. He makes a toast to Camille and David.

Kyle says she found out something. A close friend of Alexa’s had a house that was burglarized while it was under construction. The workers were taking a lie detector test, and guess who else was there taking a test? Everyone is like, I dunno, and Teddi asks, who? Kyle says, LVP, and everybody is all shocked. Kyle says, it’s not like she was accused of murder, and Dorit wonders why she acts like that. Teddi thinks it’s stupid. In Dorit’s interview, she says LVP did ask if she had to take a lie detector test, but she didn’t expect it. LisaR asks, who administers the questions? Do you say, ask me these questions?  Well, essentially, yeah. Or the police give them a list of questions. It’s not done by ESP. Teddi – the authority on all things – says, they’re not even accurate, proving she knows nothing, Jon Snow, because they’re pretty close. Kyle says, the innocent fail them, and the guilty pass them. In her interview, Teddi says Ted Bundy passed one. Yes, there’s a margin. That’s why they’re not admissible in court. Kyle thinks LVP is focusing on that, instead of the actual problem. Dorit asks why they think she does it, and LisaR says, she wants to be perceived as perfect and a saint. In her interview, Kyle says if LVP showed her the paper, and said she’d passed with flying colors, does she think it would change everyone’s opinion? I’m baffled as to why it wouldn’t. At least about the article thing. Dorit says, the wedding is tomorrow, and Mauricio asks who’s getting married. Edwin says, that wasn’t as profound.

In her interview, Kyle asks us not to judge her bridesmaid skills. She hasn’t been one for twenty-plus years. She’ll hold Camille’s train, life her veil, and powder her nose; whatever she wants. Camille’s mother, Maureen, arrives. Camille is getting her makeup done, and says she’s thrilled. In her interview, she says her mom is Superwoman. She’s out of the hospital, and on a plane, and now she’s in Hawaii. Her mom is an inspiration to her, and she hopes she’d have her mom’s strength in the same situation. She’s not sure if she would. She tells Maureen that she loves her so much. Maureen is happy she’s there for Camille’s big day. The ladies have trickled in. They mingle, and talk to Maureen. Bridesmaids Kyle and Mason, get flower crowns pinned on.

Teddi powders her arms. Wtf? Camille and Kyle cram into a 1959 cherry sportscar. In her interview, Camille says it was easier to keep the name Grammer. Maybe she’s lazy, but it’s a lot of paperwork. I understand. I did the same thing, keeping my maiden name. They speed along to the ceremony. LisaR waits in the limo for the others while birds, instead of crickets, chirp. The rest of the group finally gets in. As they pull into the venue, Mauricio says they made it in the nick of time.

The ceremony is outside. Conch shells are blown. The bridesmaids come in, with Camille and David following, flanked by native dudes. Camille looks stunning. We’ve already seen her dress, with a crocheted overlay, but I didn’t notice the train was so massive. In her interview, LisaR says, it’s gorgeous, because it’s Hawaii, and there’s a rainbow, and the wind is blowing. It’s absolutely magical.

In Kyle’s interview, she says, it’s touching to see Camille finally have this day she’s waited for. She’s been through so much. The vows are said under an arbor of palm leaves. Kyle says, it’s been a long road for Camille. A new chapter. All of them couldn’t be happier.

Next time, Camille says LVP should have come, LisaR says LVP has to own her sh*t, Kyle has some scary medical tests, Halloween happens, and LisaR dresses up as Erika.

🎵 Side note: Camille was on Watch What Happens Live tonight, and said she did get why LVP wouldn’t want the attention to be on her at Camille’s wedding. The other guest, Tracy Pollen, said she agreed with LVP’s decision.

🏥 On the Ball…

A behind-the-scenes look at the Nurses Ball. And Lulu knitting in that dress.

https://www.abc.soapsindepth.com/posts/general-hospital-nurses-ball-backstage-170874

👓 It’s So Last Year…

But I feel it still.

 

May 20, 2019 – Finn Finds the Ring, VanderReunion Concludes, GH Fashion, LVP Rules, the Throne Game Lingers & Replacement Ad

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

The Ball begins. The nurses sing You Got the Best of My Love, with Epiphany, Deanna, and Amy doing solos. Nurses we’ve never seen before do some wicked dancing. I love the Ball, and seeing everyone do something they don’t normally. I’m really looking forward to Chase. Confetti falls at the end of the number to much applause.

Lucy welcomes everyone, and thanks them. She hopes they brought their wallets. Every dime goes to fight HIV and AIDS. She tells them fasten their seatbelts. They’re in for a wild ride.

Ava asks Scotty why he thought Lucy would be there. He asks why does she think? Doc says, it’s becoming obvious. Scotty says he saw Doc sneaking off with Lucy. Ava says, that’s odd, since she was with him when a staff member said someone fainted on the red carpet. She takes it that was Lucy. Doc says Lucy was wearing a lacy negligee, and Scotty says it’s a good outfit to faint in. Ava says he burst in like he expected to say, ah-ha! Caught you. Scotty says why wouldn’t he? Doc is all wrong for Ava.

Mike and Yvonne thank Sonny for including them. Mike thinks it’s the best way to celebrate their engagement, show off his fiancé. Carly looks at the ring.

Chase and Willow join Finn, who’s looking glum at the bar. Chase asks if he’s okay, and he says he’s fine. Chase asks Willow for some privacy, and tells Finn to propose without the ring. While Anna is saying yes, he’ll arrest Robert for stealing it in the first place.

Neil sees Alexis, and sits with her. She says she had no idea they’d be sitting at the same table. He’s probably the only person who can keep her from tearing Shiloh’s head off. Neil is surprised Shiloh is there, and Alexis points him out. Sam is taking pictures, and Shiloh says he didn’t take her for being a selfie girl. She says she’s not, but just got caught up in the moment.

Spinelli tells Jason the surveillance equipment is state of the art. They have all that they need to hear everything the instant it’s happening. Jason gets a text from Sam, saying she’s at the Ball with Shiloh. Spinelli says, excellent. The plan is working. In the meantime, they have to make sure no other members are at the DOD house.

Kristina suggests watching a movie, but Josslyn doesn’t care. She says Kristina doesn’t have to babysit her. Kristina says Josslyn is doing her favor. She doesn’t want to feel like a coward for skipping the Ball, but she doesn’t feel like a fancy party, so she appreciates keeping Josslyn company. Josslyn says, bring on the popcorn.

Jax tells Carly, Josslyn is fine; he just texted her. Cameron arrives, and asks if Josslyn is coming. Jax says she thought about it, but decided not to. Carly thinks, it’s a little soon after Oscar. She’ll tell Josslyn that he asked about her.

Felicia tells Anna that she didn’t say who her date was. Finn or Robert? Anna says she came with Finn. She loves Finn. She doesn’t know what Robert is doing, but it has to stop.

Mac sees Robert, and says he wasn’t expecting Robert to show up with Finn and Anna. He doesn’t think they did either. Robert insists it was a coincidence.

Mike introduces Yvonne to Bobbie, who tells them, best wishes and congratulations. She admires Yvonne’s ring.

Finn tells Chase, if everything works out, and Anna says yes, all is forgiven. Chase asks, what if she doesn’t? and Finn says he might not have to arrest Robert anyway. Finn sees Yvonne showing off the ring.

Alexis introduces Neil to Jax. Jax asks how he knows Alexis, and Alexis says, he doesn’t. Not in the way Jax thinks. It’s just a coincidence they’re sitting together. He’s a therapist. Jax asks if he’s seeing Alexis, and she says, yes; no. He’s treating her. This isn’t social. Well, it is, but… She shrugs. Neil takes it that Jax is an old friend. Jax says, his ex-wife actually.

Finn is sorry to take Sonny away from his family, but Sonny says whatever he’s going through seems important. Finn says, a little. The lady with Sonny’s father, the ring she’s wearing, it’s his. It’s special. He hates to do this, but he needs it back.

Anna wants to talk to Robert in private. He says, sounds important. She says, it is, and it’s not a joke.

Cameron sees a llama eating at the craft service table. He calls out, anybody lose a llama? He tells the llama, hold on one sec. He puts his guitar in the corner. He doesn’t want it messed up if this goes disastrous, which it probably will. Cameron doesn’t want to interrupt the llama’s snack, but someone could startle him, and he could get hurt. He’s going to grab the llama’s rope, and find out where he belongs. Cameron takes the llama’s lead, and pets him. He says, pretty weird, being backstage. The llama must feel out of place. Him too. He had this friend, and he died. It just seems so brutally unfair. Why is he the lucky one and gets to be alive? He guesses the question he should be asking is, what does he do with the life he has, and make the most of his chances? He’s going to start by finding out where the llama belongs. Felix comes in, and says, Budgie! He tells Cameron that Budgie thinks he’s a llama, and wandered off. They were frantic. He tells Budgie that his trailer awaits. Cameron tells Budgie, nice talking to you.

Ava says she can’t tell Scotty how much his loyalty and friendship mean to her. He says she wants him to keep out of her business. She says she and Doc know what they’re doing. Scotty says, the last time she said that, she ended up with Ryan. See how that turned out? Doc suggests they not miss any more of the Ball. They leave, and Scotty says, Lucy! the way Seinfeld used to say, Newman!

Sam tells Shiloh he looks good in his tux. At their table, Chase asks how Willow is holding up. she says, it would be a perfect night, but for Shiloh being here. At another table, Michael tells Sasha about being one of Milo’s Magic Wands. He didn’t pick the name. Sasha asks if Valentin performs, and he says, usually fully clothed.

Anna asks Robert why he ambushed her. He says he had to find some way to get in, but she’s not buying it. She says he purposely made it look like they came together. He says, so? and she says they didn’t do that. Finn is her date, and he’s being exasperating as an ex-husband.

Peter is glad he ran into Sam. He wanted to tell her about her sister Molly pitching an idea to him for an exposé. As in depth and hard-hitting of a piece as Lulu did on Ryan Chamberlain.

Scotty tells Lucy that she was supposed to get Doc in a compromising position. She tells him, don’t blame her. He was supposed to get Ava up to the suite sooner. She’s still just as determined to consciously uncouple Doc and Ava, but her first priority is the Ball.

Doc tells Ava that they should have expected something like that. She says maybe they would have if the relationship was real, and not a brilliant ruse to get Ryan out of hiding.

Anna says Robert sat next to her, and he says it was the seat he was assigned. She says he could have switched with Felicia or Mac. He says she’s right; he’s a bad boy. Can he go back now? She says not until they’ve dealt with the actual problem. He asks what that would be, and she says, even with all their history, especially with all their history, he can’t expect her try again with him.

Mike introduces Yvonne to Epiphany, who comments on what a rock Yvonne has. Yvonne says, it’s beautiful, and Epiphany says not as beautiful as her. Mike smiles proudly.

Kristina tells Josslyn, maybe a comedy? Josslyn says, this is a comedy. Kristina says, it’s not funny though; is it? Josslyn sees where it’s supposed to be or would be. Kristina says, if they weren’t both miserable? She knows she’s said it already, but it’s just them right now. She’s sorry about Oscar. Josslyn thanks her, and says, it actually helps when you’re hurting to know people care. Kristina wishes she’d realized that sooner. She could have saved them, and herself, a lot of trouble.

Jason and Spinelli go to the DOD house. They walk in, and Spinelli says Jason wasn’t kidding. They really do leave their door unlocked. Jason says, it’s Shiloh’s policy – except when he’s with Sam. He tells Spinelli that everything has to be perfect. Sam is setting Shiloh up tonight.

Sam and Shiloh sit at Peter’s table, and he introduces Shiloh to Lulu. Sam says Peter really blindsided her, saying Molly was writing a story. Lulu asks what it’s about, and Peter says, it’s a new organization that just opened up in Port Charles. It’s called Dawn of Day.

Peter says Molly is still in college, and will need mentoring. Lulu says she’d be happy to take Molly under her wing, but she knows nothing about DOD. Peter says Shiloh can fill her in. He’s their leader. Shiloh says, there is no leader per se. Maxie comes by, and tells him, save it. She asks why Sam is with him. Sam says she doesn’t judge Maxie’s dates, so she’d appreciate the same from Maxie. Maxie says, he only has one name, and it means he who has been sent. Sam says, it’s just a name, and Maxie says, it’s a perfect name for the leader of a cult.

Josslyn is checking out the Nurses Ball on her phone. Kristina says, any scandals? and Josslyn says, it wouldn’t be the Nurses Ball without them. Kristina looks at the phone, and asks, what is Sam doing there with Shiloh?    

Spinelli tells Jason, it’s looking good. They’re getting signals from all devices. Jason’s phone rings, and they jet out of the house. Jason says, it’s Kristina. He asks if she’s okay, and she says, Sam is at the Nurses Ball with Shiloh. Jason tells her, calm down, but she says Jason has to get Sam away from him. Jason says, trust him. It will all work out. She says, it won’t, and hangs up. Honestly, you’d think Kristina could figure this out.

Chase tells Willow that he has to prepare for his performance, but not to let Shiloh get to her. Or Nina. He leaves, and Sasha asks what he meant about Nina. Willow says she hasn’t been asked back to the elementary school. Sasha says, she was fired because of Nina? Willow says, there were several reasons, but one of them was Nina. Michael says there are a lot of private schools there. He’s sure she can get references from community leaders. She says she couldn’t impose, and Sasha tells her, don’t argue. Michael is a relentlessly decent guy. Resistance is futile.

Nina wonders if Michael can get Sasha to stay in Port Charles. Valentin didn’t realize things were happening so quickly between Sasha and Michael. Nina says it happened between them quickly. Maybe it’s an inherited trait. They kiss.

Robert says Anna thinks he wants them try again? She says, don’t deny it. She loves him, and always will, but she has to say no. She can’t marry him. She’s in love with Finn. Robert gets that, and she tells him, stop pursuing her. What they had is in the past. She walks away.

Sonny and Finn approach Mike. Sonny tells Mike, there’s a problem with the ring. It’s a fake. Mike bought a bum ring. Mike says he didn’t. Is Sonny sure? Sonny says, positive. Mike says he can’t take the ring back. It will break Yvonne’s heart. Finn understands, and has a suggestion. He shows Mike the replacement ring, and asks what he thinks. Sonny says, it’s a beautiful ring; the real deal. He can just explain the situation to Yvonne, and everything will be okay.

Lucy hopes everyone is having fun. She wants them to welcome back the next performer. Everyone has really anticipated his performance. Last year, he brought down the house. This detective has moves so arresting, he makes you want to write bad checks. Chase sings Something Just Like This. He’s so good, and definitely has the moves. He motions for Willow to come up. She shakes her head, but he brings her up on stage. Even though they didn’t rehearse, and as far as I know, have never even danced together, they dance perfectly. Sam smiles. Shiloh, not so much. Chase and Willow kiss.

Finn asks if he can talk to Robert, and Robert says, if he must. He says, despite Robert’s best efforts to sabotage him, he’s still proposing to Anna with the ring he intended to give her. Robert says, goody; he found it. He doesn’t suppose he can have the one back he replaced it with. Finn says, if only he could. Robert says, let him guess. Finn lost it. Finn says he knows exactly where it is, but don’t worry. Robert will be pleased to know it went to a good cause.

Yvonne says she likes the ring Mike gave her, but this one is so much better. Mike says, that’s all that matters. Sonny says they have to go back to Turning Woods, and Carly says they’ll walk Yvonne and Mike out. Mike hangs back, and says he and Sonny did a number last year, right? Sonny says they sure did, and Mike says Summer Wind. It was a good night. Sonny says, the best, and they hug. I wish they’d sing again, but I guess that’s not happening.

Lucy sees Cameron, and asks if he spoke with Josslyn. He says, no, and Lucy says he should know she’s not performing. Is he okay? He says he’s good to go, and she tells him, the show has to go on. She thanks him for saving her llama.

Everyone applauds as Chase and Willow go back to their table. Willow says, it was amazing. She had so much fun, but he’d better watch out. Groupies of all ages will be throwing themselves at him. He says, of all the screaming fangirls in the world, there’s only one woman for him.

Carly tells Jax that Josslyn said he looked handsome. He says, she’s a brave girl, and Carly says, the bravest. He thinks they should honor that courage, and not go home to check on her. She says they’re still texting though, right? He says, every half hour, and she says, his turn.

Cameron goes to Sonny’s house. Josslyn says his tux looks great. He says, no disasters yet. He has an Uber outside. The driver is really nice, and said she’d wait if Josslyn wants to change and come. Josslyn says, thanks, but she’d feel like more of a loser if she showed up and didn’t sing. She can’t. She thought about it, and even tried practicing, but it’s a duet. She can’t sing it without Oscar. Cameron gets it. He didn’t come to guilt her, but he brought her a message from Oscar.

In the hallway, Shiloh tells Sam that he needed a breather from her friend. Sam says Maxie isn’t so much a friend. Shiloh says, she called DOD a cult (like that’s never happened before), but he can’t hold Sam responsible. She gets his mission. Kristina appears, and tells Shiloh, get the hell away from her.

Spinelli and Jason get back to the MetroCourt. Spinelli says, mission accomplished. They have every inch of DOD wired, but they can’t be sure Shiloh will incriminate himself. Jason says, it doesn’t matter. This ends tonight.

Lucy talks about Robin. Robert tells Finn that Anna is about to speak. He’s Robin’s father, and he’s joining her on stage. Lucy says they love Robin, and miss her, but they’re fortunate that, in her absence, they have her also extraordinary mother there to tell them the importance of what tonight is all about. Anna takes the stage. She says her daughter is a woman of passion, a fighter, and a healer. Passion, fight, and healing are what the Nurses Ball is all about. Robin was diagnosed with HIV in 1995; a death sentence at that time. It’s taken the lives of so many loved ones, in particular, Stone, but her daughter’s death sentence became a life sentence. Where there’s life, there’s hope, and she doesn’t want them to forget, that’s the true meaning behind tonight – hope.

In the wings, Robert tells Finn that, Anna is one incredible woman. He’d better make her happy. All of a sudden, the ring rolls out and stops at her feet. Finn looks at Robert.

Tomorrow, Finn proposes to Anna, Lucy says something fishy is going on, and Sonny tells Shiloh to stay away from his daughter.

Vanderpump Rules – The Reunion – Part Three

We rewind a little to where Andy asks James if he’s still helping his family. Kristen says they act like he’s the only one helping his family. Katie says she’s been going through a helluva ride, and his parents got divorced, poor thing. Kristen says, he was raised by effing a-holes, but Lisa tells her, don’t talk like that; it’s going too far. James walks out, saying, he’s not listening to sh*t about his family without ripping someone’s head off. Lisa tells the group, take a breath. They’re not doing themselves any favors. Andy says Kristen keeps jumping into every question.

Lisa tells James, don’t walk away. He’ll lose the battle. He says he’s already won. She says he’s part of the show. He needs to pull himself together, and defend himself. Katie says people hate her because she stood up for herself. People told her to kill herself because she did something to James’s family. Lala says they need to quit talking about people’s parents. Lisa comes back with James, and asks if they’re good now.

Andy wisely changes the subject. He asks about Lala’s anxiety attacks, and she says they were driven by alcohol. We flash back to her freak-out at dinner in Mexico. She says she wanted to crawl out of her own skin. She wasn’t near Rand, her mom was far away, and her dad was gone. Andy says Scheana claimed everyone was up Lala’s ass, and treated her like she could do no wrong even before her dad passed away. He asks if Scheana has any examples, except for Lala not wanting to make out with her. We flash back to Scheana griping about that. Scheana thinks she had some insecurities, and felt like all of Lala’s other friends came first. Lala says she never wants Scheana to feel like her friendship is on the back burner. If she needs to try harder, she’ll make that happen.

Andy asks how Schwartz felt when he and Katie took the lead in the controversy surrounding inviting white Kanye to Mexico. Schwartz says he didn’t think it would be a problem. He thought enough time had passed, that it was safe. He was caught in the moment; he’s a softie. Andy asks how it made James feel when Tom got the brunt of the blame. Ariana says, in reality, they agreed. Schwartz says he knew he effed up, and it was a moment of cowardice. Katie’s voice is scary, and he didn’t know what to do. Andy asks why James would want to go somewhere, that clearly, several people didn’t want him to. He says he as curious. He’d been on all the trips. The Miami trip was fantastic. The group thought he’d be the liability of the Hawaii trip. We flash back to Jax saying James is obnoxious. James says he laughed when Jax got arrested. He wasn’t the liability. He became an international DJ when he worked in Mexico. It was all happening. He thought he’d earned the right to go on the next trip, and at the time, it hurt his feelings.

Moving on. Andy brings up Katie and Tom’s fight, where Tom blamed Katie for James losing his job and called her a bully. He asks if Tom thinks she’s responsible for James losing his job. James says, it’s irrelevant. It doesn’t mean what he did was okay, or he’s right, but Tom was pissed at the ultimatum and outcome. Tom says he thought if Katie hadn’t said anything, James wouldn’t have lost his job. It was bottled up in him. Schwartz says, back in the day, she said come pretty rough things. We flash back to Katie calling Lala a whore, and telling Schwartz, no wonder his d*ck doesn’t work. Schwartz says she’s a changed person. She’s come a long way, and matured. He loves her. Andy says Katie’s go-to insult is critiquing his d*ck. We see a clip of Schwartz saying he has a classic penis. Andy says they’re going to say it so much, it won’t work. Schwartz says it’s a nice, old-fashioned penis. Andy says Katie was penis shaming.

Andy welcome Stassi’s beau, Beau. He asks Beau if his suit is more comfortable than the dinosaur outfit. Beau says he has the dinosaur costume with him, but Stassi said. We go down the Memory Lane of Stassi’s exes, and see clips of their various antics. Jax flipped off everyone at SUR. Frank threatened to pull a customer’s underwear over his head. Patrick made unwanted comments on Lisa’s ass. Andy asks, where does Beau rank? He says Lisa loves him, and even tweeted that she loves her some Beau. Lisa says he’s lucky to have Stassi too. She’s bright and beautiful, but with her insecurities, thinks she’ll screw up. She wants Stassi to get it out of her head. Andy says Stassi put Patrick on a pedestal, and then said in her podcast that he’d cheated. Katie is shocked, saying she didn’t know about this. Stassi says the day she was moving from NYC to L.A,, she was using Patrick’s computer, and found texts between him and some, like, model that were very explicit. She didn’t want to just slink out, since she’d just told everyone she was in a new relationship. She was mortified. Beau is happy she did it. Andy asks if she made Beau happy, and Beau says, she did. Andy asks if Beau watched show when they started dating. Beau says he watched the pilot to see what he was getting into. Andy asks if it didn’t scare him, and Beau says, eff yeah. Kristen set them up. She and Beau met when she was doing an independent film, and they kissed. We see some clips from The Loneliness of the Long Distance Dreamer. Andy asks if it went further, but that’s a no. Jax says, this is the most incestuous group ever.

Andy asks about the first night in Mexico, when Stassi was arguing about going to bed. How does Beau keep cool when Stassi goes off the deep end? Beau says he gets help from friends. Andy asks what triggers Stassi’s rages? and Beau says, alcohol, Adderall past influence in relationships. He’s done nothing to make her think he’d do something shady. Andy says Stassi gave him a hard time at the club for encouraging her to have fun with her friends. Stassi says, all the girls were dancing, and she had on a maxi dress with oatmeal-colored Spanx that she’d cut the crotch out of so she could use the bathroom. She didn’t want everyone to look up and see. She didn’t feel hot, and Beau annoyed her when he kept telling her to go. She said no. He says he didn’t know she was wearing oatmeal-colored Spanx with the crotch cut out. Stassi says it’s embarrassing to say. Andy reminds Beau that he said he felt like a battered boyfriend, which was brutal. It was just over and over again.  The dark passenger snapped at the club, and his bottled feelings came out at the hotel. The old stuff and Stassi’s insecurities combined with alcohol makes the dark passenger come out. He doesn’t think it’s some deep persona thing. Andy asks who’s scarier; the dark passenger or tequila Katie. Schwartz thinks it’s Katie, but says the two of them could take over the world. Andy asks if it makes Stassi feel at risk of losing Beau if she doesn’t change her behavior. Stassi says, yes. She wants to find out what’s making her life this. She’s hurting her friends, Beau, and herself. She’s not taking Adderall again. Andy asks Beau if her behavior has changed, and they both say yes. Andy brings up Stassi’s mother telling her not to be herself or she’ll mess it up. Beau says he had no idea why her mother would say something like that. Stassi says it sticks with her, and she thinks something’s totally wrong with herself. Andy adds insult to injury by reminding Stassi that her mother also said she hoped Stassi would grow up to be half the woman Kristen is. We flash back to that. Stassi says she didn’t know about it, and it was hard to watch. Andy asks where she and her mother stand now. Stassi says they didn’t speak for eight months, but just this past weekend, she went to her sister’s bridal shower, and they talked. Her mother apologized and took ownership of what she’d done, and they both cried. It was awesome, and she’s happy about it, since she missed her mom. Everyone gets a little teary. Well, probably not James.

Andy says Jax seemed freaked out when the women arrived at the guy’s weekend. Jax says he felt guilty just being in the same room with them. He knows just because things are okay now, he still has work to do, and he’s treading water. He told Beau that the girls would probably be mad if they tell them, but they’ll find out anyway, so they’d better. Stassi says it was the right choice, but she wanted to FaceTime with those skanks. We move on to Kristen, and flash back to her freefalling in wine country. Andy says she got triggered by James DJing a party at PUMP. Does that really affect her? She wishes it didn’t. She thought she was fine. James tells her to get over it. He says she’s obsessed with him, and she has to get over him. Stassi sticks by saying she thinks it was really Carter that was the problem, and doesn’t think Kristen is obsessed with James. He triggered it, but they all knew what was going on with Carter. We see clips of Kristen complaining. Kristen insists it wasn’t about her and Carter, and she got upset when Stassi intermixed the two. Andy asks what issue broke Carter and Kristen up, and she says he didn’t respect her enough to pay his way. She felt taken advantage of. Beau thinks that Kristen vents so much about the bad, it’s all they hear. They never heard the good stuff. Andy says the girls accused Kristen of fighting in private, and acting like everything was okay in public. She says Carter was trying to make a shift; whatever it took. It doesn’t matter what caused it. Stassi says it does to her. It should be what Kristen wants, and not because of what other people think. Kristen says they made a choice not to be together. Andy reminds Kristen that she said if she ever gets married, it would be to Carter. She stands by that, and admits they still live together. Their dog was mauled by a Pitbull and she needed him. They don’t sleep in same bed every night, and they’ve only had sex twice. Andy says, it’s confusing. Stassi says they’re like Scheana and Adam. Scheana says they’re best friends, but they sleep together. Kristen says Stassi’s tough love doesn’t work for her. She doesn’t know how get him out. She cries alone, because they’re annoyed, and she’s afraid to call. Katie says Kristen is settling to be unhappy. She’s trying to make herself happy in a situation that’s no good for her. Kristen says she listened to Katie and Schwartz for eight years, and never walked away. Katie says they’re not walking away. Andy asks if the issue is that she should just get Carter’s ass out of the house. Kristen says it’s none of their business, but Katie says Kristen wants Carter to love her, and made it her business for over two years. Forgive her for having an opinion. Kristen says she does. Andy says Beau was friends with Patrick before he dated Stassi. How’s that going now? Beau says they text once in a while, but it’s been hard since Stassi’s break from him. Stassi says Patrick is scared of her. Andy tells her social media says Beau is the best thing for her; an upgrade from Jax. Stassi says she and Jax both upgraded. Andy asks Stassi if it’s hard to be not the most liked person in the relationship. She says she’s getting used to it. Stassi says she got everything she told her friends that she wanted. She wanted someone who could be friends with her friends, and do the same things she likes to do; an actual partner. Beau whispers, I love you, and Stassi returns the whisper. Everyone is like, aww! On that note, it’s time for Beau to skedaddle.

Andy says in the Mexican hotel, Schwartz’s balls were as big as anything. We flash back to Schwartz and Katie’s fight. Andy wonders where that all came from, and Schwartz said it had built up. The last rumblings of pent up resentment from early on, and was like one least burp. It was cathartic, but he felt terrible. Andy says the root of what Katie was saying is that he was working so hard, and she wanted to spend time Lisa says lot of people have jobs, and are still committed. Katie says Schwartz isn’t good at listening. Before Andy wraps up the Mexico conversation, he wants to know if Schwartz’s grand romantic gesture, of a violinist and junk food, worked. Did they make mad passionate love? Katie says she had Montezuma’s Revenge. Schwartz says he was on the verge, and Jax says they all had severe anal leakage. Andy is like, alrighty then.

He says when he thinks of rivalries, he thinks of the Hatfields and McCoys, the Red Sox and the Yankees, and Kristen and Ariana. He asks Tom if it’s weird seeing his ex and current girlfriends being friends. He says, it’s not that bad. Brittany wonders which is weirder; Tom and James being friends, or Ariana and Kristen. Ariana thinks the most weird thing is Jax and Tom being friends. Tom doesn’t think it’s weird, considering the other people who have made up. Andy asks if Kristen still thinks that Tom and Ariana did something inappropriate when she and Tom were together. She does, but it doesn’t matter anymore. Ariana says they did kiss in a pool in Vegas, so there was that.

Andy says from the moment Jax proposed, Brittany was planning her engagement party. He asks if she had the fairytale theme in mind already. She says she knew she would get married in a castle, so it followed the theme. Andy asks why the bigger Bridezilla will be; Brittany or Jax? Stassi says Brittany is Brattany. She knows what she wants. If she wants a cherry blossom tree that has to be shipped in from Japan, it’s going to happen. We find out Lala has become a bridesmaid. Brittany says she felt badly about it, because they are really close. She and the girls all have a bond. They understand each other and what they’re all going through better than anyone. Andy asks how many bridesmaids she has, and Brittany says, eleven bridesmaids and one bridesman. Andy asks why Kristen thought she should be maid-of-honor. Kristen says Brittany’s brother had said she was Brittany’s best friend in LA, so she figured it was a sure thing. Brittany says it breaks her heart that Kristen felt that way, but thought it was more appropriate for Katie to take that role. Stassi tells Ariana that she’s not picking bridesmaids. It’s too stressful.

Andy was impressed with Lisa’s beer bong. Lisa says there’s nobody else she’d do that for, and she’s never doing it again. It shot ninety miles an hour down her throat. We flash back to her burp, and Andy says, it was a great exit.

Andy points out that Tom ticked off a list of lies Jax has told over the years in the finale. Andy asks if Jax heard about it, and he says, no. Brittany reminds him that they watched the episode together. They laughed about it, because it was true. Brittany tells Andy that Jax would never say he didn’t eff up in the past. Tom says Jax had a Chanel fragrance ad in his portfolio for as long as Tom has known him, and it’s way not him. Stassi says, it doesn’t look like you, but omg, cool! Tom says something about Channing Tatum rooming with Jax, and Jax insists it’s true. It was in the beginning of his career. Tom says he was a model before Jax, and Channing was blowing up after doing a Mountain Dew ad. Jax says that’s when he left. He was nineteen, and it was a big deal. My high school boyfriend was roommates with Christopher Reeve before he was Superman, so it’s possible. Andy asks Lisa how she thinks Jax will do as a married man. She hopes well. She thinks Brittany is his best asset. She knows how control him to a certain extent. Jax says he’s still a work in progress, but he’s devoted to changing. Andy says he’s heard Jax say he was a work in progress before, but Jax says he always will be. No matter how much he changes, that old person will always be there. Lisa comparing him to Ken was an honor. Lisa says it wasn’t a positive, but Jax thinks it’s a compliment because Ken came out the other side, and he’s a great dude.

Andy says the engagement party meant something else to Scheana. Scheana says she’s never seen Adam that angry. We flash back to that, and Scheana says that’s what triggered her emotions. She never thought he’d speak to her again. Andy tells her that she kept saying she and Adam were just friends, but when he wasn’t giving her enough attention, she set up a date with a hot model. Lisa says it’s the worst choice she ever made. Well, there is Shay. Andy says then she got Adam’s attention. He asks if she was interested in Ethan or was she just setting up Adam to pay attention. Scheana says she met Ethan on Watch What Happens Live in LA. He was one of the guys who was fanning NeNe. They’ve been talking since then, which really didn’t answer the question. They discuss Botox, which Stassi says Scheana has been getting since she was twelve. Scheana says she’s going to be thirty-three, and this is how she can get a twenty-five year old.  Andy says she looks great, but she’s still young, and he thinks Botox makes you look older. I think it just makes you look freaky. Not to leave any personal stone unturned, Andy asks if she was thinking about Adam while having sex with Ethan. She admits he crossed her mind, and she felt badly about it. Andy asks how Adam reacted to the penguin, and she says he loves penguins like Stassi loves ranch dressing. It worked. She’s continued dating other people, but he hasn’t been with anyone. I wonder, how is this working? and also why Andy doesn’t ask, since he’s been so intrusive. Andy asks her about Adam not going downtown, and she says they’d go right to it without much foreplay. Lisa thinks in a relationship, if you’re not willing to go downtown, it’s a huge disrespect. Scheana says he did it the next day. There’s a TMI explosion in my head.

Andy says Brittany’s whole family was in town for the engagement party. He knows her mom and memaw love Jax, but where does he stand with the other members of the family. Brittany says she was surprised when she saw the footage, and didn’t like how Jax treated them. We see the clip where Jax says he’ll always be number one. She says she screamed bloody murder. Don’t disrespect her family. Jax agrees that he was inappropriate, but says there was a lot of pressure, and he was also entertaining his sister. He was having a couple of drinks, and trying to relax, when Brittany’s brothers kept giving him a list of what he needed to do for her. He thought, what about him? Andy asks if anyone got offended when Jax said he bought Brittany’s brother a baby. The vernacular was not great. Brittany says Jax doesn’t know how to speak; he doesn’t have a mom and dad. Andy says he has a mom. He’s not Dr. Phil, but wonders if Jax’s mom is invited to the wedding. Brittany says it’s still up in air. Andy says life is short, and Jax says he knows that. Brittany thinks his mother should try to reach out. She asks what Lisa thinks, and Lisa says she can see his pain, and as a mother, it’s incumbent on her to reach out. Brittany says they wanted to see his dad, and she told them to wait. Jax says he doesn’t have a mother, but Lisa says until recently. It’s going to hurt his mother when she sees this. He should say he wishes she’d reach out. Brittany says, Marie, please reach out. Jax says he’s the only man in the family, and doesn’t understand why she didn’t talk to him. Regardless of what his dad said, he would have called and told them he’s not going to make it; get on a plane. Andy asks how they think his father would feel about the engagement. Jax says he loved Brittany. Brittany says Jenny sent her texts about how he would love her, and she’s saving them forever.

James tells Stassi to get off his d*ck. Stassi says he won’t shut up, and stop telling her to shut up. He has no right to talk to her like that; it’s disgusting. Brittany says, it’s not okay. That’s why he’s never going to be around her again. He was talking about her family. James says Jax was talking sh*t about Raquel, and Andy says Brittany has never said a bad word to him. Why was he taking it out on her? She’s the nicest one in the room. James says he felt like it. He knows it’s not nice, okay? Lisa says, it’s not okay. He asks what she wants him to say. She says he’s going to lose any bit of support he has, and he asks if that’s a threat from her. She tells him that she’s saying, unless he changes, he’s going to lose the support he has. Andy says, James is no longer at SUR, and his relationship with the group has frayed; what’s in store? James says he’s making music, traveling America, and DJing. There’s a lot he’s working on, and he has high, high hopes.

Andy asks Schwartz how he felt about the audience reaction to Katie, and the haters. He says it took willpower not go after them, but he knows better than to feed the trolls. His wife is sexy and beautiful, and he loves her. Suck his classic d*ck.

Peter is standing by with cocktails, along with Ken, who has a tray of memaw’s beer cheese. Andy asks Lisa who she thinks will be first to have a PUMP baby. Shouldn’t that be a SUR baby? She thinks it will be Brittany, and Jax says, she’s already pregnant. Brittany says he’s just kidding. She wants to have fun at the wedding. Andy says nothing is coming between her and having fun at her wedding. They all say, cheers, and Lala toasts with cheese. They don’t seem to like the shots very much, and Brittany tells them, chase it with the beer cheese.

The end. For now

👗 Red Carpet At the Nurses Ball…

They’re all beautiful, but Lulu’s dress gives me life.

https://www.abc.soapsindepth.com/posts/general-hospital-nurses-ball-2019-fashion-170851

🐶 Lisa Goes To the Dogs…

Who needs the Wives when you can be with Giggy?

https://radaronline.com/photos/lisa-vanderpump-rules-at-dog-day-amid-rhobh-feud/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

👑 And If You’re Not All Throned Out…

I’ll bet it was on purpose. It’s like the last day of school, senior year.

https://nypost.com/2019/05/20/someone-left-a-water-bottle-in-the-game-of-thrones-finale/

The cast says goodbye.

https://pagesix.com/2019/05/19/emilia-clarke-says-goodbye-to-game-of-thrones-ahead-of-series-finale/

The facts.

https://nypost.com/2019/05/19/bran-is-the-surprise-star-of-the-game-of-thrones-finale/

An interesting take.

https://www.essence.com/entertainment/game-of-thrones-series-finale-recap/

And my favorite. Throne with a side of snark. I’ll miss this recap.

https://betches.com/game-of-thrones-series-finale-recap-and-none-for-jon-snow/

👫 Interesting Pair…

Apparently, Gina Kirschenheiter (Real Housewives of Orange County) and Danny Trejo (Machete) are in an ad for some kind of ED device.

https://www.bravotv.com/the-daily-dish/erectile-dysfunction-treatment-commercial-stars-gina-kirschenheiter

I couldn’t find a video of the ad, so you get this instead.

 

 

 

 

May 15, 2019 – Mike Makes a Proposal, NYC Goes Upstate, Erika Blows the Power, a Little Charm & Expensive

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

We are interrupted by a helicopter landing in the Hudson. Thankfully, not for long.

Yvonne is telling Mike a story about her dog. Sonny comes in, and says the nurse insisted Mike needed to see him right away. What’s up? Sonny says hi to Yvonne, and Mike asks if she minds him having a moment with his son. Sonny says, everything okay? and Mike says, better than okay. He wants Sonny to be there for the good news. He’s proposing to Yvonne tonight.

Mac shows Felicia the substitute ring, saying, the setting might not be an exact replica, but it’s close. Felicia asks if they don’t think Finn will know the difference. Robert and Mac just look at her, and she guesses they have a point. Robert isn’t so sure she’ll say yes, but Felicia says, ring or no ring, Anna is ripe for a proposal. Anna appears, and Robert says they didn’t see her there.

Jordan and Finn play backgammon. He tells her that he played with Tracy Quartermaine when she was a patient there, and she beat him too. Jordan tells him not to expect her to go easy on him. Stella runs in, saying she’s sorry. She just got Curtis’s message. Thank God Doc is a match. She asks when the transplant is scheduled, but Jordan says there’s been a complication. She’s not getting a transplant.

Toronto. Laura and Curtis have coffee. She says at least they put the time to good use. She thinks April’s story doesn’t hold water. She checked the flights from Miami to Toronto, and they were all rerouted because of the storm. Maybe she flew to Buffalo and rented a car, but it doesn’t seem likely. Curtis says, that ain’t what happened. He has proof April lied about Ryan.

At the café, Jason asks if Carly wants orange juice, but she’s like, please, no more. He asks if she’s okay, and she says she’s sad; really sad. She’s grateful for her family and the new baby, and her best friend. He says he’s thankful for her too. It’s what Oscar wanted. He didn’t want them to grieve, but to remember they still have each other.

Sam sees Shiloh putting up flyer in the park. She asks if he shouldn’t be resting, but he says he’s survived worse than a bump on the head before. She says she was getting some fresh air. She went to Oscar’s celebration; it was beautiful. Shiloh says, he was a special young man. He’s sorry he didn’t get to know him better. It just goes to show, you can’t take time for granted. He thinks they should get together soon. What better way to celebrate life than finishing her initiation?

Jason gives Carly some chamomile tea. Carly says she always associates it with being pregnant, and finds it soothing. He says she should drink it more often. She says, ha-ha. She asks him to fill her in on how close he is to arresting Shiloh. He says they still need Kristina’s Pledge, but they can’t get it unless Sam gets into the Trust, Shiloh’s inner circle. Carly says for a woman to join the Trust, she has to give damaging information, then he drugs, tattoos, and has sex with her. How far is Sam going with this?

Sam says, Shiloh wants to finish her initiation? It wasn’t exactly orthodox. He tells her not to let the misguided actions of a lost soul keep her from enlightenment. She wonders if the other Trust members know she’s being initiated, since they’re usually there. He says they’ll accept her because he does. The sooner they do it, the better. They can complete the initiation tonight. She says she can’t do it tonight. After Oscar’s celebration, she’s been thinking about her kids a lot, and wants to hold them. She’s picking them up at their grandmother’s. He urges her to reflect on her priorities. The longer she puts it off, the more she’s likely to abandon them like her sister did.

Mike tell Sonny to feel free to congratulate him. Sonny says, it’s a lot to take in. He thinks they should talk, and Mike says, what about? Does he think it hasn’t been long enough since Sonny’s mother died? He and Adele were divorced a long time before she died, but he’s not replacing Sonny’s mother. Sonny says he’s not saying that, and Mike asks why he’s being negative. Sonny says Mike asked him to talk, so let’s talk. They sit, and Sonny says Mike is jumping in a little fast. How does he know she’s the right one? Mike says, of course (🍷) she is. Why can’t Sonny be happy for him? He thought Sonny liked Yvonne. Sonny says he does, but someone else might want to weigh in. Mike asks, who in the blazes would that be?

Anna asks, why so solemn? Is everyone okay? Robert says they were just talking about the scuzzy rag Henrik publishes. Anna says, Peter, and he says, the scuzzy rag Peter publishes. Felicia says he knows Anna and Peter have a good relationship. Peter and Maxie are on their first date. She wouldn’t be surprised if they went to Valentin and Nina’s wedding together. Anna is surprised they’re getting married again; they have so much baggage. Robert says, maybe Nina believes in second chances. Anna thinks past lovers should stay in the past, but Felicia says, if you love someone, and want to spend the rest of your life with them, nothing else matters. Anna sees how some people feel that way, but she’s sworn off marriage.

Stella asks if Doc changed his mind, but Jordan says Doc never wavered. Finn says Doc told him it was all right to pass along the information; he’s pre-diabetic. It’s probably from malnutrition when his brother held him captive. He’s unable to donate. Stella says the condition can be controlled with diet and exercise, but Finn says it will take six months. Jordan says that’s too long for her. Stella says, then they’ll regroup. Before Doc stepped up, Curtis was setting up an account with a genetic profiling site. They can see if they can find a donor from there. Jordan says she hasn’t told Curtis yet.

Curtis tells Laura, while she was talking to April, he looked inside the house. He saw a stack of papers, and on top was the Page Five section. Laura says, from The Invader? He says, yes. He wasn’t sure if it was syndicated, but he did research while he was in line, and it’s not. So why would some woman born and raised in Madison, Ontario be so concerned with local Port Charles gossip? Laura says, because the paper wasn’t for her. It was for Ryan.

Mac tells Anna that he had no idea she was against marriage. Anna says she’s been married several times, and they all ended in disaster. She looks at Robert, and says, no offense. He says, none taken. Felicia says, what if it’s the right person, and Anna says she knows herself. She’s not built for marriage.

Mike tells Sonny, the only person who has a say is Yvonne. It’s not like her father is still around. Sonny says he’s talking about the family, and Mike is sure they’ll be more supportive than he’s being, Sonny says Mike is right. He’s being extra protective. If he’s determined to do it tonight, at least talk to someone who’s objective, like Stella. Mike trusts her, right? Mike says, yeah. He should be the one to give Stella the good news. Great idea.

Stella says, Jordan didn’t tell Curtis. Hasn’t she learned anything? He’d want to know and should. Finn says, it’s not best time to stress Jordan out, and Jordan asks for a private moment with Stella. Finn leaves, and Jordan tells Stella not to jump to conclusions. Stella says she’s holding back vital information. Jordan says, it just happened. TJ knows, and now she does. She’ll tell Curtis when he comes back. Stella says if she calls, he’ll come back, but that’s what Jordan doesn’t want him to do. He needs to stay on the case. Stella asks what makes her think the case is more important to Curtis than she is.

Laura finds it hard to believe someone living there would care who’s dating who in Port Charles. Curtis says, him too. His phone rings, and he says, it’s a Canadian number. He answers, and it’s April. He says they were just talking about her. She’s sorry she wasn’t upfront, but she wasn’t alone. He asks if she’s alone now, and she tells him to get there as soon as he can. She’ll tell them everything. She hangs up, and he tells Laura, she’s ready to talk. They jet.

Felicia understands how Anna feels, but doesn’t think marriage is the cause of relationships ending or failing. It’s the relationship itself/ People grow and change, or don’t see each other clearly. There are plenty of times it does work. Mac says they’ve had heartbreak, but it made them stronger. Anna says she and Finn are perfect the way they are right now. They challenge each other, respect each other’s boundaries, and his non-conformist personality is a great match with hers. They have no expectations, and they’re content with the relationship as it is. She wouldn’t change a thing. Robert’s phone rings. It’s Finn, but he doesn’t answer.

Finn leaves a message for Robert. No more stalling. He wants his ring, and expects Robert to be there at the drop off tonight.

Jordan says Stella knows she can’t get into specifics about a case; the same way Stella can’t with clients. Stella says Jordan is in the hospital, and shouldn’t be concerned about a case. Marcus shows up with flowers, and Stella says she thought they were meeting downstairs, but Jordan says they’re wrapping things up. Marcus says he knows how flowers can brighten up a hospital room. Flowers always made Yvonne smile, and he hopes they have the same effect on Jordan. She thanks him for his thoughtfulness. Stella says they still have a bit to discuss, and asks Marcus to meet her in the restaurant. Stella’s phone rings, and she excuses herself. It’s Mike, who says he’s got some news for her. She says, judging by his voice, it’s something good. He says, it sure is. He’s proposing to Yvonne tonight. Stella looks at Marcus.

Laura asks Curtis, if Ryan is hiding at April’s house, why would he leave, and give her the opportunity to call someone? And why call them, not the police? Curtis says maybe he doesn’t know they’re on to him, or she’s in denial and needs more information to see the truth. Laura says, or maybe they’re walking into a trap.

Sam tells Shiloh that she thought Kristina was thinking things through, and not to assume she’s leaving DOD. He says Kristina came by see him. Sam says her mom said Kristina was in town. He says it turns out she wanted to tell him face to face that she’s not returning. He wishes she’d reconsider. Sam says she could talk to Kristina, but he thinks it would be better to let her be right now. She might have fulfilled her ultimate purpose by bringing in Sam. Sam says something Shiloh taught Kristina stuck. She told him face to face. Normally, she’d go south. The old Kristina wouldn’t do that. He says he thinks she was also making sure there wouldn’t be any trouble, but he couldn’t tell her what she wanted to hear.

Carly tells Jason, it’s one thing to pretend to break up, but Sam is risking being drugged and sexual assault. What comes next? Jason tells her, calm down, but she wants him to listen to her. What if Shiloh drugs Sam. She clutches, and Jason asks, what is it? She says nothing. He has to make Sam listen. She clutches again, and he asks what’s wrong. She says it’s probably nothing; just pain. He says they have to make sure, and helps her up.

Sonny and Yvonne debate recipes, and Mike thinks they should have a mac and cheese bakeoff. Yvonne is game if Sonny is. Sonny says he’ll be back, and meets Stella. Marcus has come with her, and asks, what’s going on? Stella says they were on their way to dinner when she got a call from Mike, and she explained the situation to Marcus. Unfortunately, they all knew something like this might happen. Sonny says, first of all, they can’t get married, not in the legal sense, but they won’t understand why. Mike used to know that Yvonne was married, but now he doesn’t. Marcus says, or doesn’t want to. Sonny asks if they’re going down that road again. Stella says it gives them a semblance of hope and happiness. They’re less and less able to remember their old lives. It sill distress them both if they try to explain. Marcus says, Yvonne is married, whether she remembers or not, and he’s not letting that man propose to his wife.

At the hospital, Jason wonders if he should call Sonny, and she says, absolutely not. He already has his hands full. They should wait until there’s something to know. She asks Epiphany if her doctor is available, and Epiphany says, no. Does she need an exam? Carly says, no, but Jason says, yes. Epiphany asks if she’s having pain, and Carly says it’s nothing serious. Epiphany tells her she’s not a practicing medical professional. She’ll give Carly an exam, and she’ll decide.

Sam asks Shiloh, what kind of trouble is Kristina worried about? He wouldn’t harm her, would he. He says, of course (🍷) not. She walked out, and can’t figure out how to apply the principles she learned to the real world. It’s like when someone stops taking their medication because they feel better. She’s flown to close to the sun, but when she crashes, they’ll be there with open arms to take her back. Her place is with them.

Laura thinks they should call the authorities. Curtis says, and tell them what? That they were lying about being census takers? They go onto the porch, and Curtis says, the door is open. Laura says, that’s not right, and he tells her, now would be a good time to call the police. Laura has no service, and looks for a spot. When she turns around, Curtis is gone.

She finds him inside, and he tells her, the power has probably been cut. He uses the flashlight on his phone to look around. He calls to April, saying she called them. He tells Laura to go to the main highway, and see if there’s service, but she says she’s not leaving him alone. He looks around some more, and says, oh damn. April’s body is behind the couch. Laura gasps, and says, oh no.

Finn couldn’t help notice things were intense between Jordan and Stella. Jordan says, intense is their baseline. She wanted to tell Curtis about Doc, but the last time she gave him bad news, he dropped everything. She doesn’t want him to lose the lead. Finn asks if it isn’t Curtis’s decision to make. They’re married now, and account for one another. No unilateral decisions. Jordan bets Anna put him up to watching her. Backgammon was just an excuse to keep eye on her. He says he has no idea what she’s talking about, and smiles. She sees why Anna loves him. She’s happy they found each other. Maybe one day, she can return the favor and dispense marital advice to him. He says, you never know.

Anna says she didn’t mean to kill the mood, and Robert says he speaks for everyone in being delighted about her and Finn’s solid understanding of each other. Robert’s phone dings, and he excuses himself. Anna hopes there’s a major crisis on the other side of the world. Felicia says they’ve been friends for ages, but she never heard Anna say anything like this. She wonders when Anna decided against the idea of marriage.

Marcus says he played along with this charade, but he’s not letting another man propose to his wife. He’ll transfer her to another facility. Sonny says nothing has changed. They’re happy; that’s what matters. Stella agrees, but says Marcus has a right to his feelings. They had a lifetime as husband and wife. He had to let that go when she was diagnosed, and bring her there. Sonny knows it’s a lot, but asks Marcus not to blame his dad. They managed find each other, and as long as they’re under the same roof, they’ll find a way to be with each other. He gets that Marcus is frustrated. Everything is frustrating with the situation. Marcus says he wants what’s best for Yvonne, and knows she’ll be happy with Mike, but he can’t stand there and watch. Stella understands. Marcus goes over to Yvonne, and says hello. He wanted to tell Yvonne how lovely she looks. He puts his hand on her shoulder, and walks away. Yvonne tells Mike, what a sweet man, and Mike says, yes. He asks if he can talk to her about something. He steers her away, giving a thumbs up to Sonny.

Shiloh tells Sam that he has to get back, and gives her a flyer. He hopes to see her there. She says it’s for tomorrow night. She can’t go. She’s going to the Nurses’ Ball. Shiloh says, that sham of a charity? She says she’s gone every year, and it’s far from a sham. He says a bunch of rich people paying for a song and dance, and a four-course meal. Why don’t they just write a check, or volunteer their time. Sam asks, what’s wrong with people feeling good while doing good? This charity brought in a lot of money for HIV and AIDS, and he’s being judgmental. Has he ever gone? He says, no, and she says, there’s an obvious solution. Cancel the event – she crumples up the flyer – and come to the Nurses’ Ball with her.

Epiphany tells Jason that he can come in. He asks if everything is okay, and Epiphany says, the baby is fine. It’s an uncomfortable, but harmless pain, common in the second trimester. He says, so there’s nothing to worry about? She says, just discomfort. There’s stretching Carly can do, and warm compresses. Her doctor will go into more detail at her appointment tomorrow. Carly says she doesn’t have an appointment, and Epiphany says the office has been trying contact her. The results of her CVS test are back. She insists that Carly rest for fifteen minutes before she leaves, and Jason says he’ll make sure. Carly says she appreciates it, and Epiphany says, show it by following instructions. She leaves, and Carly says she wishes she could get the results sooner. Jason says she’s fine. Everyone is fine. Tomorrow, whatever happens, happens, but tonight everyone she loves is safe, so rest. He doesn’t want to get in trouble with Epiphany. Ha-ha! Epiphany is probably the only person Jason is afraid of.

Sam asks if Shiloh wants to be her date/ He’s the one who keeps telling her, honesty above all else. She’s being honest in telling him it’s so much fun, and challenging him to see for himself. Want to let her show him a good time? Shiloh says, all right. She’s got herself a date. Now he has to cancel the event. She takes the flyer down, crumples it, and hands it to him. He says he’ll see her tomorrow. When he’s gone, she texts Jason; Shiloh took the bait.

Anna tells Felicia that she’s never had the occasion to talk about it. No big deal. She has to go, and Mac says, they have a problem.

Finn asks Robert where the ring is. Robert gives it to him, and says the ring is the least of his problems. Last he heard, Anna was having a tirade against the institution of marriage. Finn looks at the ring, and says it isn’t his. Where’s the ring he bought for Anna?

Mike tells Yvonne, the last few months have been the happiest of his life. At least the part he can remember. He gets on one knee, and says he was wondering if she’d do him the honor becoming wife. He shows her the ring.

Jordan thinks about Stella asking if she hasn’t learned anything, and Finn saying it’s Curtis’s decision to make. There are no unilateral decisions. She picks up the phone, and calls Curtis.

Curtis feels April’s neck for a pulse. He tells Laura, she’s probably been dead less than an hour. If they’ve ever needed the cops, they need them now. Laura says she can’t get cell service, and he tells her, try outside. She walks out, and Curtis looks at April’s hands, saying, it looks like she put up a fight. They have DNA evidence. He calls to Laura that he thinks they’ve got something. Someone hits him from behind, and knocks him out. Laura comes in. She sees Curtis, and then sees his assailant. She screams, and backs up against the wall.

Tomorrow, Kristina tells Molly that Shiloh is a predator, Anna tells Peter that she thinks she’s getting a marriage proposal, and Sonny says he has no idea how Mike got the ring.

The Real Housewives of New York City

Luann tells her hairdresser that her house is like a bird’s nest. She saw an eagle this morning, and she can’t wait for the girls to come. Sonja’s already on her way.

In her interview, Sonja says the limo/bus she’s taking is like a private plane on wheels. She can watch TV, and it has a toilet. Her dog Marley is coming along, and she brushes him. She’s excited to see the house. LuAnn almost sacrificed everything to be in this hood. It’s much smaller than the mansion she tried to wheedle money for. We flash back to LuAnn saying she was asking everyone she knew for six million dollars. I would have been like Sylvia Miles when Jon Voight asks her for money in Midnight Cowboy. I was just about to ask you for some…

Dorinda goes to a flower shop. She wants dark, sultry, sexy flowers. In her interview, she says, it’s amazing. Sutton place feels like London. She walks everywhere, every day. it’s so accessible, and she feels emotional about it. She goes into a cheese shop next, and wonders where to begin. Thirty blocks down, and four avenues over, and it’s changed the dynamic of her life. It’s easy for her to visit Hannah and John. She tastes some cheeses.

Bethenny meets Tinsley, who’s dog has cancer; her baby. In Tinsley’s interview, she says Bambi is the type of dog who’s loved, caressed, and smothered in kisses. They would have felt any lump, but this just appeared. I feels so sad for her. This, I can identify with. Not that stupid Scott stuff. She tells Bethenny about Sonja yelling at her, saying the kid thing wasn’t happening. We see clip of Sonja going off on how Tinsley shouldn’t want what she says she does. In her interview, Tinsley says she’s known Sonja a long time, and Sonja thinks Tinsley should only take her advice. If she listens to anyone else, it’s like a betrayal. In another clip, Sonja says every woman doesn’t need a child, and Tinsley only thinks she wants one. Tinsley says she doesn’t want to be under Sonja’s wing anymore.

Marley and Sonja arrive. Sonja tells the driver, it was heaven. She thinks the house is so LuAnn. Isn’t that a Disney show? So LuAnn? LuAnn welcomes her. in LuAnn’s interview, she says the house has good karma, and she wants to keep it that way. Sonja says this is where all the cool people live. In her interview, LuAnn says that she lives in a small town in the Hamptons, and it’s right at the street. People come by and stare at the house, and she’s even found photographers in the bushes. Wow. They must be desperate. She says she didn’t feel secure, and upstate, she doesn’t have that problem.

Sonja says she burns the candle at both ends. When she’s drinking, she’s drinking; and when she’s not drinking, she’s not. Bethenny said she needs a happy medium. She’s just trying to keep her sh*t together, but she didn’t when she saw Tinsley and Ramona. Tinsley was being a downer because her dog has cancer. First, the boyfriend, then the dog. Then she started going on about finding a man and getting married, and Sonja flew off the handle. We see a clip of Sonja telling Tinsley, when she got married, she wanted to be with her husband. If she wants a baby, get one. She doesn’t need a man. She tells LuAnn, how many women marry and have kids, and are miserable?

Ramona joins Tinsley and Bethenny. She has to say something, but wants to preface it. Barbara told her that she’s like a bull in a china shop. She’s like her mother, and her delivery sucks. In Bethenny’s interview, she says she has to get stretched out and ready for this bullsh*t. She tells Bethenny that she’s happy Bethenny is there for lunch, but part of her feels ignored. She knows Bethenny is busy, but she wishes Bethenny had missed the red carpet, instead of her party. Bethenny says, know thyself. She suggests Ramona talk what she would do. Ramona says she doesn’t know, but we all know she’d go where the hottest guys were. In her interview, Bethenny, gives Ramona an R for a reach. Ramona tells Bethenny that she’s just saying she wishes Bethenny had been there. Bethenny says she had one drink, and came home. She’s trying to squeeze twenty-five pounds of sh*t into a five pound bag. (My father used to say that.) She wants to spend time with Brynn, and wouldn’t go to see Madonna at 11. She left at 11:20, and LuAnn said something about her leaving to watch Brynn sleep. In Bethenny’s interview, she says, eff off. It doesn’t matter if she’s scoring crack at 11:30. LuAnn turns into a pumpkin? Ramona says LuAnn wouldn’t be in the situation she’s in if not for Bethenny. Bethenny says it’s not even about her. Have some common decency. Ramona says LuAnn expects people to do things she doesn’t, and I nearly choke on my coffee. Pot meet kettle. In her interview, Ramona says, LuAnn is on her high horse. She’s a cabaret star now. Do you know who I am?

LuAnn shows Sonja around. Sonja loves what she did with the place. It is beautiful.

Bethenny tells Tinsley, Sonja admitted to being in a bad mood for four days straight, and saying something to Tinsley about needing to have a baby on her own. Tinsley says she’s the only one in the group with no child. It makes her feel inadequate as a woman. She has nothing to be proud of. Wow. I feel sad again for her. Not only that she feels inadequate, but that she was raised to think only having children is something to be proud of. Bethenny says, many people with no kids live happy, fulfilled lives. She asks, what does Tinsley want or think she should do? There are no bad answers. Tinsley says she was programmed think that’s what she wants. When she’s been a mother, it’s to her chihuahuas. She knows it’s in there, and she’d be great at it. I say, get more dogs. In her interview, Tinsley relates to being a mother through mothering her dogs. She tells them she doesn’t want to date, even though the clock is ticking. Ramona asks why she can’t do it on her own. Bethenny says she can’t have it all. Ramona says, she can try, but she can’t. Bethenny says, the clock is ticking. Tinsley thinks the first step is being in a committed, loving relationship. In Ramona’s interview, she knows Tinsley was raised as a traditionalist, but she’s forty-three, and needs to rethink things quickly. Bethenny doesn’t envy her posotion. In Bethenny’s interview, she knows Tinsley is like Peter Pan, and doesn’t want to grow up and deal with it, but not everyone is Halle Berry or Janet Jackson. If she wants kids, she has to get crackin’. She has no time to wait for a man to have a baby. Tinsley says she wants a family; a guy who loves her, and who she loves. Who else would she have it with? Bethenny says, the best sperm you can get. Tinsley says she’ll give it another month, and come back to it. Bethenny says before the new year. They’re giving her four weeks. Ramona says they’ll be the godmothers.

Ramona thinks they should all go away before Christmas, and do something special. Some of them love Aspen, but Tinsley suggested Miami. She found a house they can possibly rent; it’s 18000 square feet. She shows them pictures on her phone, and says, Mario might come. Bethenny asks, what’s going on? Ramona doesn’t know, but insists she hasn’t seen him naked for three years, when they had goodbye sex.

Barbara arrives. She’s come bearing gifts. In her interview, she says being in LuAnn’s house is like being in the George Jetson bubble. It’s like floating on the water. LuAnn says it’s her first dinner party there. The talk about the Halloween party, and Barbara says she felt comfortable in her Slash costume. Sonja still isn’t sure who that is, but says it was a good party. Barbara wonders why LuAnn didn’t mingle with them before her performance, and Sonja says some of the girls were upset. Bethenny is concerned, now that she’s a cabaret star, LuAnn doesn’t don’t spend time with them. LuAnn says she was rehearsing, and afterward, was with them for a while. Bethenny could have waited ten minutes. Her kid would have been sleeping; what’s the rush? One thing LuAnn doesn’t grasp is that Bethenny had to relieve the sitter. She’s not even figuring in that there’s a third party who might have wanted to go home or out. In LuAnn’s interview, she thinks what she said isn’t that big of a deal compared to what Bethenny has said about her. We flash back to Bethenny calling LuAnn a whore, a liar, and a snake. Sonja says she’s acting like a celebrity, and LuAnn reminds Sonja that she’s in her house, eating at her table. Watch yourself, girlfriend. LuAnn wishes Sonja would have her back once in a while. Sonja says she’s a Sagittarius, and tells the truth. Me too! In LuAnn’s interview, she wonders how much Sonja has had her back, and how much she’s been part of the conversation.  LuAnn says it was a fabulous party. She didn’t forget her girlfriends; she was rehearsing. They’re big enough to take care of themselves. In her interview, Sonja says LuAnn added insult to injury, saying they can take care of themselves. The preparation for their outfits took longer than LuAnn’s show. They’re were there for her, not there for them. LuAnn says she’s not apologizing. Sonja tells her not to forget her friends; just thank them for showing up. In Barbara’s interview, she says LuAnn doesn’t like confrontation. She doesn’t hear what they’re trying to say. LuAnn says she’s in her happy place, and she hopes the women aren’t planning to gang up on her. Sonja says Let’s Ramonacize it, package it, and move on.

Bethenny is driving upstate (or rather, being driven) with Dorinda and Tinsley. She says it’s a dry county, so she’s bringing liquor. She can sell out of the trunk. Ramona is out looking for a housewarming gift. She says it’s good to bring a gift, especially if you’re going to be late. She sees a coaster that says cock on it, and says LuAnn would like that. Then she realizes the companion coaster says tail.

After speaking with Barbara and Sonja, LuAnn figures the women have an agenda. She feels the wind coming down the Hudson River, blowing strong and fast. Sonja watches as she tries on necklaces from her new collection. She never thought the cabaret thing would be as big as it’s gotten. Working on the a collection for the cabaret show came organically. We see a clip of her having photos taken, wearing the necklaces. In her interview, she says it made sense to do the collection, since she loves statement necklaces. In Sonja’s interview, she says she loves the cabaret collection. It’s lovely to see LuAnn’s passion be ignited, but cabaret is now a trigger word for the group.   

In the car, Bethenny asks how many times they think LuAnn will say cabaret. Dorinda is all for a drinking game, but Bethenny says they’ll be in a blackout quickly. They can stop at the rehab on the way back. Dorinda suggests they take off a piece of clothing each time. Tinsley says they’re either in danger of alcohol poisoning or hypothermia.

Ramona decides on candlesticks.

Sonja says Barbara was mugged when she was nine, and asks her what the other thing was. Barbara says she had boobs at nine, and was touched in the locker room. Sonja say she got her ass kicked, and tells Barbara her favorite move to smash a girl’s head. Barbara says Sonja was a killer. Sonja says people wanted to beat her up. Like now.

The woman talk about politically correct words in the car. Dorinda says she doesn’t know a lot of them, and Bethenny says, just don’t talk. They pull in, and go inside. LuAnn and company are lying by the fireplace. LuAnn says it’s a little late for the fall foliage, and shows them the view. In her interview, Bethenny says, it’s charming. She thought the six million dollar house was a terrible idea. This is manageable.  They do the tour. In Dorinda’s interview, she thinks it’s isolated, and isolating. Not what she expected. Barbara must think it’s really in the boondocks if she thought the Berkshires was. Barbara says it’s like being on the water. The guest room has its own kitchen, and in her interview, Bethenny says, you can take a sh*t, and cook a souffle at the same time. Tinsley says if anything drove her to drink, it would be living there full time. LuAnn talks about how busy she’s been. In her interview, she believes the women think her house is great. Unless they’re good liars.

Sonja says Ramona’s party is on her IG story. She plays it for them. In her interview, Sonja says they’ve put up with Ramona’s sh*t for so long, and have gone to all of her other birthday parties. They’ll see if those people pick up the phone a few years from now. They’ll be there, and the new people won’t. LuAnn says they’re going to Rhinebeck for dinner, and then to Kingston afterward. There’s an entertainer called Margarita. She’s from Cuba, is eighty years old, and plays the keyboard. Tinsley raises her glass, and clinks it with Bethenny. In her interview, Tinsley says, it wasn’t the exact word, but it was close. She didn’t come there to make friends, but to win the cabaret drinking game. In Bethenny’s interview, she wonders if she’s required to go to the cabaret. She’s never been to a cabaret in her whole life, and she’s okay. In Dorinda’s interview, she says she’s having an out-of-body experience, and she’s not even drinking.

Sonja says she, Ramona, and Tinsley had fun on their girl’s night out. We see the clip of Sonja lecturing Tinsley, and asking who programmed this sh*t in her hea. Tinsley says she’s sorry her dog has cancer, and she’s sad. And she’s sad about her relationship being broken up. She was trying to have a conversation, but Sonja didn’t want to participate in it. Sonja admits she was rude, and Tinsley was hurt. Tinsley wouldn’t listen. Bethenny says Tinsley didn’t want a prescription for her life. Sonja says they all have problems. When they’re together, sometimes they have to compartmentalize. She had no strength for the baby/boyfriend story. In her interview, Tinsley says it’s not a sob story; it’s her life right now. Bethenny thanks Lu Ann for including them.

Barbara tells Bethenny that the three of them were just yapping before the she and the others got there. Bethenny asks if they talked about sex. Barbara says LuAnn called her liquid. Bethenny says, gender fluid? Sonja is coining the liquid term. Barbara says she thought she was bi-sexual, but she’s sexually fluid. She takes what’s in front of her, but they have to be hot. In Bethenny’s interview, she says she’s kissed Barbara, Sonia made out with a stranger, and LuAnn tried to make out with everyone. They’re a piece of dental floss away from being lesbians. Barbara says she was in a relationship with a woman for a few years. Bethenny asks what broke it up, and Barbara says she loves men more. Much more. Bethenny says, then she dabbles. In Barbara’s interview, she says she’s always asked if she went downtown. What else is there to do? LuAnn is surprised. In her interview, she says she’s shocked that Barbara had a relationship with a woman, since she likes men, but LuAnn is open.

LuAnn asks if they think she’s landed on her feet. Bethenny says, absolutely. LuAnn says she’s going to be doing a Christmas show at the Grammercy. Dorinda asks what she does besides sing, and LuAnn says she’s added a Q&A session. Bethenny asks about her costume on Halloween, and LuAnn says, it was similar to Tinsley’s, but she was working more than anything. She was hoping Bethenny would stay, but Bethenny says she had to let the sitter go. She didn’t appreciate LuAnn’s comment about how she had to go home to watch her kid sleep. In her interview, Dorinda says she feels like a National Geographic photographer. She’s watching the craziness unroll, until there’s blood on the floor, and someone is ate for dinner. Bethenny says she didn’t want to keep the sitter out. LuAnn says Bethenny came to her rescue in so many ways, she wanted Bethenny to help celebrate the good things too. Bethenny says she’s the mother of an eight-year-old. She went trick-or-treating after school. She’s a mom. LuAnn says don’t talk to her like she isn’t. Bethenny says she’s not a mom with an eight-year-old. She suggested Bethenny have someone take care of her kid, so she could go out. She doesn’t want to go out, but she came to see LuAnn’s performance, and she came. LuAnn tells Bethenny that she always says she has to get home for Brynn. LuAnn is so unbelievably clueless. She doesn’t realize how bad she sounds. Bethenny says LuAnn is doing cabaret, and that’s her life. Bethenny supports that, but LuAnn isn’t supporting Bethenny’s life. LuAnn isn’t thinking about anybody but herself. LuAnn says Bethenny didn’t have to rush; her daughter was sleeping. In her interview, Bethenny asks who does LuAnn think she is, telling her what to do as a single mom?  She asks how LuAnn dares to say something negative about her choices. LuAnn says she was hurt because Bethenny didn’t stay and celebrate the moment with her. Bethenny says she can’t live her life to celebrate LuAnn’s life. She celebrated LuAnn last summer. Topping herself in cluelessness, LuAnn asks what she means. Sonja says Bethenny helped her out.

Next time, Bethenny tells LuAnn that they all have their own lives, Ramona says she was hurt when she was left nothing in the will, and we see the eighty-year-old cabaret artist. It looks… interesting.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

It’s one week until Camille’s wedding. She tries on her dress and feels like a princess. It’s gorgeous, sleeveless with a crocheted flower overlay.

LVP’s new kitchen is done. She says, it’s been a torturous few months, but worth it. It’s the coolest thing. Lots of white with silver and pearly pink details.

PK isn’t a wilderness kind of guy, but Dorit tells him the camping trip wasn’t as rugged as she thought. When she tells him there was a public restroom and he goes, urrg. In her interview, she says when she leave town for more than one night, her mother comes to stay. She feels her kids are in good hands – all of her kids.

Kyle tells us they bought a lot of food for camping, and now they have to burn calories. She, Teddi and LisaR run around the property; nine times is a mile. Afterward they go to Kyle’s house gym, but just sit around in it. LisaR can’t believe she had pie for breakfast. She thought she would be miserable and cold, but wasn’t. Kyle couldn’t believe the conversations, and we flash back to Camille’s revelation about the prostate. LisaR doesn’t want to stick her fingers in anyone’s butt. I’m with her there. In LisaR’s interview, she says she’s kinky, but someone has to teach you that stuff. Teddi says Camille went from that to calling her a know-it-all. More than the comment, she didn’t like the tone. Kyle says it was because of what happened at the Boy George concert. Teddi says she was just being a friend. If she feels something, she says it. If she can’t do that with someone, she won’t be friends with them. In her interview, Teddi says she’s going to Camille’s wedding. She figures she wouldn’t have been invited if Camille didn’t like her. Oh really? Did she forget she was in L.A.?

Denise is going to Miami for a job. She loves working as an actress. She’s juggling projects, and doing a TV show that’s edgy, sexy, and provocative. She tells Aaron that she’s going to try and sleep on the plane, and they’ll dress her when she gets there. In her interview, she says she loves people asking if they can get her coffee, or what she wants for breakfast. At home, she just gets a list of complaints. Being on set is a vacation. She says goodbye to Eloise. She says it’s challenging, balancing everything. There’s a lot of guilt in being a working parent. She tells Eloise that Aaron will be there. He’s just taking her to the airport, and will be back. In Denise’s interview, she gives credit to Aaron for being supportive. The girls know they can count on him, and it eases her mind.

Erika rehearses for her L.A. concert. She always wanted to headline her own tour. In her interview, she says she’s not going to sit there and be humble. She’s been dreaming of it since she was a baby. Mikey walks Erika and the dancers through the show. She says the Globe holds 900 people, and they sold it out. A lot of great energy has passed through the theater. This is where it pays off. She discusses things with her hair stylist. She’s performing in front of other performers in L.A., and says she prefers performing for strangers.

Denise stops by friend Kerry’s salon. Sami is going on her first date. In her interview, Denise says they gave in, but they’re not calling it a date. Her first date won’t be until she’s sixteen. It’s not a date, it’s a dance. There’s an effing difference. In the olden days, their mothers did their hair and makeup. In Beverly Hills, the girls have a glam squad. Denise asks Sami to put her dress on, so she can see it. In her interview, she says she’s missed a lot of things. It’s hardest thing missing beautiful moments. Sami comes out, and everyone goes, wow. It’s sparkly, pretty, and not too revealing. Denise tells her to wear sneakers, except for pictures. Denise tells her to be careful and have fun. Sami asks why she’s crying; it’s just three days. Denise feels badly that she won’t be there to see her. Sami says she’ll send pictures, and Aaron tells Sami, if she needs anything, text him. In the car, Denise tells Aaron, it’s hard being a working mom. She misses stuff.

Mikey says, glam is attacking, and they joke about Erika’s macramé hair. Tom comes by, and she tells him tonight is going to be good. Not only will it be a great show, he’ll get to see everything they’ve done. Mikey says, it’s the whole shebang; a culmination of a decade. He suggests Tom go to the VIP area, since he is. In her interview, Erika says there’s always pressure when Tom is in the audience. The show is an expensive project, and she wants him to see where all the hard work and money have gone. The most satisfying thing is her partner being her biggest cheerleader.

Kyle, Mauricio, Dorit, and PK ride together to Erika’s concert. Mauricio asks if the camping trip was fun. Kyle tells him about Camille’s revelation. In detail. More things I’ll never be able to unhear. In her interview, Kyle says PK apologized after the concert. We flash back to her telling the others about their texts. She knew he felt bad; it just took time. She’s over it and they’re good. She tells Mauricio he’ll be impressed with the concert. She’s seen Erika twice, and now this time, she’s going with her husband who’s never seen Erika perform. She’s bragged about her friend being a rock star. When they get to the theater, they order drinks and meet up with Teddi.

Aaron asks when he’s seeing Denise again. She asks if he can go four days without sex, and says they can have phone sex. He sarcastically says, that’s so much fun, and she says, it’s better than nothing. She says she’s a generous wife, and he says, that’s for sure.

Twenty minutes to show time. Mikey says the house is packed. LisaR joins the other guests. Everyone is shocked that she’s wearing hair extensions and a ponytail. In her interview, she says her hair is iconic, and we flash back to her telling Brandi (gag) the same thing at a reunion. Her goal is another hairdo. She’s working on it, but you can’t beat this. Who looks better than her in her hair? Mauricio tries to take pictures of them, but Kyle says he’s the worst photographer in the world.

Erika gets ready to go on stage. She says, when the lights are off and the music starts, she gets really turned on. She salivates. She begins with It’s Expensive to be Me, and yells the traditional, what’s up L.A.? In LisaR’s interview, she says she’s proud of Erika. Everyone is freaking out and screaming. Erika Jayne is a rock star. In Teddi’s interview, she tells us Edwin was background dancer at clubs when he was a teenager. A guy does splits on stage, and Edwin says he definitely can’t do that. Teddi doesn’t know how good his moves are, but he definitely won her over with them. Erika does PAINKILLR, and the sound goes out. Mikey wonders what to do, and Erika is pissed. Don’t get pissed after you just said how lucky you are to be living your dream. So the concert will run late. So what? It’s not like she’s Madonna. Not that I think Madonna should get pissed either. Although she probably would. Damn. You’d think Mikey would know what to do. In her interview, LisaR says, sh*t happens. You’re live, and you’ve got to just keep on going. The sound comes back, and LisaR says, that’s show biz, baby. The audience doesn’t seem like they minded.

That’s it? Two songs? I hope we just didn’t see most of it. Mikey says they blew the power at the Globe. He’s never seen L.A. freak out like that. They’re not jaded. Erika asks if Tom liked the show, and they hug. He laughs, and says, it was unbelievable. She says all she needs is Mr. Girardi to think it’s good. He’s been with her since she told him at the kitchen table she wanted to perform again. This is because of him.

The gang comes backstage. Tom says, wasn’t it fun? And LisaR is proud of him too. Look how far Erika has come. Erika joins them, and everyone applauds. She hopes everyone had fun. She says they blew the power; that’s rock and roll. Kyle tries on Erika’s sparkly red boots, but they’re too tight. The guys sit on the couch, calling themselves the Three Stooges. Teddi doesn’t trust them together. Kyle jumps on Mauricio, and Edwin asks where his straddle is. Teddi spirits him away, and the cheese PK sits alone. In her interview, LisaR says Kyle and Mauricio are in love. Add tequila, and it’s on. Various people come back to see Erika. Teddi says she tried to get Edwin to audition for the Pretty Mess tour. He says he can do this, and does a pushup move.

At Villa Rosa, we see the rarity of Giggy (!) running around. LVP calls Camille, and says she misses her. Camille misses LVP too. She says she’s doing some last minute shopping for the wedding. LVP wonders if she can stop by for a cup of tea. In Camille’s interview, she says she was disappointed that LVP wasn’t at her bridal shower, but it’s easier to keep the peace than get into it. She wants to focus on the wedding and new beginnings, not arguing. LVP tells Giggy that they have to make some tea.

Teddi and Kyle take Portia and Slate to the nail salon. In Kyle’s interview, she says when Camille asked her to be a bridesmaid, it was unexpected. When she looks at their history, they’ve gone from her calling Camille an effing liar to saying, sure I’ll be your bridesmaid. She tells Teddi that her dress hasn’t arrived. She ordered it late, and Camille said they usually take a long time. She paid for rush shipping, but she’s tall and usually need to have everything altered. She’s cut bottoms off before. We see a clip of Kyle taking scissors to a formal dress. Teddi says they need nine outfits for the weekend. First, there’s paddle boarding, then a canoe competition. Kyle doesn’t want to wear a bathing suit, and Teddi tells her it says to wear one on the itinerary. Kyle jokes that she’s tired of this abuse. In her interview, Kyle says they’re leaving in a few days, and Teddi does know it all. Teddi talks about getting back at midnight, and Slate overhears. Teddi tells Slate not to worry. She tells Kyle that Slate will cry, but Cruz is a screamer. In her interview, Teddi says her business has grown. She has over 500 clients, and met with someone she thought she might want to partner with, but then got cold feet. In her interview, she says Slate told her that she was rushing bedtime. Her kids always know. Kyle says she’s closing stores, and just have one, keeping the focus online. In Kyle’s interview, she says she’s spread herself too thin. It’s a lot. The dogs alone are a full-time job. Don’t I know that. Teddi asks Slate what mommies say. Slate says, you always come back.

Camille arrives wearing a beautiful blue teddy bear coat. She brings LVP a box of chocolates. LVP says Camille is probably on the wedding diet. In her interview, LVP says she and Camille always had a good friendship. It’s great seeing her happy. They both gush over her ring. Camille says, the girls can be awful. LVP doesn’t want to include Camille. In Camille’s interview, she says she thought the right thing to do was to invite everyone, and try to be the better person. She says she wants LVP at her wedding, but also wants her to be comfortable. She asks if LVP will come. LVP says she’s always cared about Camille, but she can’t make the wedding. In her interview, she says as much as she wants to see Camille get married, she’s not going to put herself in a position where everyone is against her. She tells Camille that she can uninvite everyone else, and they laugh. Camille wants her there, but understands, and says, no pressure. In her interview, Camille says she’s been there. She was called delusional and a liar. Maybe she has more strength than LVP, who’s running. She wishes she could make it better. She says she cares about LVP, and so does Kyle. She tells LVP that she and Teddi had a thing. She thinks she knows everything when she doesn’t understand the dynamic. She hasn’t been there that long. LVP says none of them believe her. Do they want her to take a lie detector test? Camille says she can see Kyle’s sadness, and thinks Kyle really misses LVP. LVP says she’d be sad too, if she gave up a good friend. She’s always stepped to Kyle’s side. Camille says she watched them be supportive, and we flash back to LVP telling Camille that she just misinterpreted Kyle. LVP tells Camille that Kyle said she cared more about her image than her friends. It was like Kyle hit her. In Camille’s interview, she says LVP has never been a victim, and doesn’t live her life that way, but it’s sad to see her being one. LVP asks how many times is she supposed to forgive Kyle? Camille says they have a special friendship, but LVP says they don’t. It’s done. In LVP’s interview, she thinks Kyle enjoys throwing her under the bus a little too much. Unless she apologizes, and this changes for the positive, she doesn’t want to see Kyle again.

In her interview, Camille says this is not the Lisa she knows. That one would show up, and this one is running from everyone, and hiding the truth like an immature girl. She talks the talk, but Camille wants to see her walk the walk. She tells LVP not to lose faith. In LVP’s interview, she says when you fall apart, and have success putting yourself back together without that person, you realize you can live without them. She tells Puffy, it’s so nice, she might be better off.

24 hours later. LVP takes a polygraph test. Puffy! The administrator asks if she’s ever given a story to Radar Online. She says, the thing is quite tight.

Next time, Hawaii, Kyle learns to hula, and Mauricio asks if Kyle wants another kid.

🍹 The Return of Charm…

Why Bravo decided to air the new season of Southern Charm at 8 pm, I’ll never know, but there was no way I could catch it then. The next time around was at 11:30. I’ve barely had any sleep for the past two nights, and knew doing my usual thing was an impossibility if I wanted to sleep tonight. However, I love this show so much, I couldn’t not at least watch it – and we know by the previews that Ashley will be showing up where she’s not wanted – how can I resist? So while I was doing my routine multitasking, I jotted down some highlights. It did not disappoint.

We began with Thomas being arrested, and everyone’s reactions, which mostly consisted of, I don’t want to talk about it. Whitney was coming home after an extended jaunt in Europe, and Patricia decided to throw him a dinner party. It was nice to see Michael mix martinis again, as they discussed the invite list. Patricia told him the landscape had changed, No invite for Thomas. Patricia didn’t want to even think about him. Kathryn got one, and Patricia acknowledged she’d only been hearing part of the equation. We saw what a headache motherhood is for Cameran. She was at platinum level in real estate, and now forgets to call the appraiser. She told us, there’s no way to have it all. Oddly enough, that’s what Bethenny said tonight, and I totally agree. Even Helen Gurley Brown, who wrote Having It All, didn’t have it all. Craig got his act together after playing Robinson Caruso on an island for three months. Naomie has a new boyfriend, who also trains her at the gym, which might or might not be a plus. Austen is dating Madison, Patricia’s hair stylist. While they’re still together, Madison apparently walked in on a threesome. We saw actual footage. Not of that, but her coming in on them being there. Apparently, this had been posted on social media by one of the women. Shep told Cameran that Madison had a dalliance after Austen’s stupidity, which he thought was even worse.

At the party, Craig presented a pillow he’d made in the Bahamas to Patricia. He kept saying that interacting with him was too painful for Naomie, but I sure didn’t get that vibe at all. Shep brought some youngster named Eliza who’s close with Ashley and Thomas, which didn’t go over too well. Kathryn said Eliza had also spread lies about her after Thomas was arrested. Shep said he was furious about how hot it was, confirming that, although I adore the town, I will never be moving to Charleston.

Austen chose dinner to tell Chelsea that Kathryn and Whitney had slept together during the summer. Chelsea immediately pumped Whitney for information, but he said it wasn’t true. It did seem a little suspicious that he kept looking all over the place while he talked to her, but who knows? He could have just been wondering who else was listening in. Eliza also made a total ass of herself at dinner, by suggesting Kathryn could be a surrogate, and making stupid, kind of aggressive comments to Kathryn in general.

Everyone agreed that it was strange how many girls Shep had slept with, yet he’d never gotten one of them pregnant. Cameran suggested that Shep’s sperm were much like he was; lacking motivation, having an inability to commit, and listless. Cameran, Shep, and Austen tried to school Eliza on manners, but instead of taking their advice and just telling Kathryn how good she looks, she pulled Kathryn aside, apologizing. Cameran told the others to shut up because she wanted to listen, and Shep said he wanted to die. Like the lady she is now, Kathryn pretended not to know what Eliza was talking about, said her coattails were worn out, and left with dignity. Cameran said, that went well. I can’t wait for Ashley to show up. And be escorted out.

💎 It’s Expensive To Be Her…

No explanation necessary.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

May 14, 2019 – Finn’s Ring Goes Missing, Justin Doubles His Firepower, Dracarys All Over, Throne Thoughts, the Real Throne, Throne Feels, Beverly Beg Off & OLTL Frat

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Michael comes by Willow’s classroom. He says he didn’t know teachers kept such late hours. She says they don’t, but she’s hosting some parents and the principal. He asks if it’s a problem, and she says nothing or no one she can’t handle.

In Toronto, Maxie, Peter, Curtis, and Laura play Trivial Pursuit. Maxie tells Peter, not geography, and I identify. He says, entertainment. A TV show is described, and Curtis says, Fraternity Row. That was his story. And also a nod to the fake soap opera that was part of a One Life to Live storyline many years ago.

On the phone with Lulu, Doc says they’re ready and waiting. He tells Ava that Lulu’s colleague from Page Five is on the way. Ava says they can provide more tawdry fodder to get Ryan’s attention. She takes Doc’s arm, and he tenses. She tells him, it’s okay, but he says, nothing about it is okay. She says sorry to violate his personal space. He says he just wants Ryan captured, so he can get back to his life and his wife, and Ava must have a life she wants to get back to.

Peter tells Maxie, sorry their first date went down the drain. She says he doesn’t control the weather, and until the snow lets up, their fabulous first date will have to wait. Standing by the window, Curtis tells Laura that Clue or Risk would guarantee world domination. She wonders when the weather will turn. It’s sweet of Maxie and Peter to let them intrude, but… Curtis says they’ve worn out their welcome. Laura says they need to get back on the road, and track down Ryan.

At the MetroCourt, Valentin suggests whisking Nina away, but she says it would be irresponsible to miss a meeting. The less time she spends with that woman, the better. Sasha appears, and asks, what woman? Nina says it’s not important, and asks what Sasha is up to. Sasha says she’s meeting Michael. Nina says Sasha has a hot date, but not if they’re around. She grabs Valentin and they jet.

On the phone, Finn tells Robert that he wants his ring. Robert bets he does. Finn says he can’t propose without it, and Robert says he’ll hand it off to Finn later, Finn tells him, tonight’s the night. Anna approaches Finn, and says, sounds ominous. Robert tells Finn that he’ll drop by with his precious bauble later. Robert opens the ring box, and ring is gone.

Michael comes into the classroom with a gift bag, saying he thought he’d leave it on Willow’s desk, so she could get in the morning. She asks what it’s for, and he says to thank her for helping his sister. He saw Kristina this morning. Willow asks how she is, and he says, she’s not her old self yet, but she’ll get there eventually – thanks to her. Willow thinks Neil had a lot to do with it. Michael says, for sure, but Willow spoke about her own experience with Shiloh, and it was instrumental in getting his sister back. He says thank you doesn’t do justice to what Willow did. They hug as Nina and Valentin walk in. Michael says goodnight, and breezes out.

Robert says, damn, and Finn asks, what does that mean? Robert says, the MetroCourt is out of Fosters. He ends the call as Felicia and Mac join him. Mac asks what’s wrong, and Robert says someone stole the ring out of his pocket. Felicia wonders why he has a ring, and he says it’s not his; it’s Finn’s. Felicia is shocked that he lost it, and he tells them to help him find it.

Anna asks Finn what the call was about, and he says he was just clearing a few things with Robert. Anna asks when he was going to tell her how serious Jordan’s condition is.

Maxie says, go fish. Curtis tells Laura that he’s anxious to get this over with so he can get back to his wife. She suggests when the storm clears, he go directly back to Port Charles. He asks what she’s going to do, and she says she wants to check out the last place. The piled up mail doesn’t sit right with her. He asks if she’s shaking him, but she says she just wants to get him back where he belongs, by his wife’s side. He’s sure his wife would rather have him out of her hair than crying in it. He promised to see this through with her. They’re in this together.

Doc wonders how long they have to wait, and Ava asks what’s his hurry. He’s not running home to Laura. He says, and he won’t be. Not as long as this dog and pony show is going on. She asks if her presence is that intolerable, but he says there’s nothing about her presence that’s objectionable. She asks if her reputation doesn’t give him pause, but he says he prefers forming his opinion by direct observation. She says, observe then. What does he see? He says, a human being in pain. She says Ryan saw enough to fall in love. He turned out to be a monster though, and monster love doesn’t count, except to other monsters. He says she’s not a monster, and she asks if that’s his direct observation. He says he loves his wife, and she says, of course (🍷) he does. She tells him not to worry about any more unrehearsed kisses. Doc says, maybe a rehearsed one. Someone’s coming. He grabs Ava and kisses her. Julian runs to them, and tells Doc to get his damn hands off his sister.

Julian tells Doc, back off, but Ava says, stop it. He’s not Ryan. Julian knows who he is. He’s no better than his brother. He unleashed that psycho, and got Kiki killed, and put Ava in Ryan’s sights. Doc says he’s ashamed of what he did, but Julian says, if that was true, he’d have slunk out of town long ago. Doc says he’s not going anywhere until Ryan is dead and buried. He wants to be sure. Julian asks if that’s what he told Ava. He’s taking advantage of her vulnerability. Laura moved on, but Ava is here, ripe for the picking.

Peter tells Curtis that they could play Operation or go old school. Curtis says, definitely old school. Curtis is sorry to impose, but Peter says he can’t control the weather. Peter says a private detective and the mayor. What’s the story? It’s quite the buddy comedy. Curtis thinks it’s not as entertaining as what he and Maxie have going on. Peter flashes back to Maxie saying, it’s been perfect, and kissing her. Laura tells Maxie that she’s been a lovely hostess. They’ve been sweet, but it’s clear they’d rather be alone. Maxie says, it’s really new. Kind of a first date. Laura says Maxie deserves to move on, and if she likes Peter, Laura is happy for her. Maxie thanks her, but she’s not sure she knows what she’s doing. Larua says she’ll figure it out. When the snow stops, they can get on to other activities. Maxie says she’s beginning to think that she and Peter could be the last two people on the planet and still find a way to avoid those activities.

Finn tells Anna that he can’t discuss patients. Anna gets that, but says he could have given her a heads up that Jordan could use a friend. Left to her own devices, Jordan would never say anything. She’s a proud woman. Finn says if Jordan takes a turn for the worse, he’ll let her know. Chase walks in, and says he’s there to see the commissioner. Anna says, Jordan is resting, and Chase says, another time. He asks if Anna got a manicure. She says she’s just wearing clear polish, and he says, sorry. He thought he saw a sparkle. Finn says it could be a symptom of cataracts, and can check that for him. He wants to do that right now, and tells Anna that she’s going to be late to meet Felicia. Anna says she’s not late, but Finn says she doesn’t want to be; Felicia has a mean streak. He pushes her toward the elevator. Once she’s gone, he tells Chase, that was smooth. Chase says, Anna’s ring finger is bare. What’s Finn waiting for?

Felicia says Robert has to tell Finn, and Robert asks if she’s mad. She says, Finn will understand it’s an accident, right? Mac says, of course (🍷). It’s not like he lost it on purpose. Felicia says, why would he sabotage another man’s proposal to his ex-wife?

Nina wants to call Sasha about seeing Michael with Willow, but Valentin says that Sasha told them it’s not that serious. Nina can’t find her phone, and says her whole life is on it. He thinks it could be at the MetroCourt. She wants him to go find it, and he asks her to promise there won’t be bloodshed. Keep it misdemeanor. He leaves, and Principal Schultz comes in, asking them all to take a seat. He thanks them for coming out for what he hopes is a civil discussion. He’s hoping to yield understanding, so they can circumvent the district dealing with the matter. Franco doesn’t know how it can be sorted out in one discussion. Someone here has a problem with the gays.

Finn is beginning to think Chase is more invested in the proposal than he is. Chase says it doesn’t sound good, and Finn says, great detective skills. He’s surprised Chase hasn’t made head detective yet. Finn apologizes, saying he’s on edge. Chase was afraid he’d gone over it. Finn just wants to get the proposal over with, but Chase says, it’s supposed to be a romantic moment. Anna is liable to run other way with him in this state. Finn says he can’t get down on one knee without the ring. Robert has it, and he’s not giving it back. Chase says Finn should have said so sooner. Let’s go get the ring back.

Felicia can’t believe they’re having this conversation. Robert needs to return the ring. Robert says he doesn’t have a ring to return. Mac says he can get a ring. He knows a guy who creates lookalikes. Felicia tells him, no, but he and Robert are already moving, and almost run into Anna. Anna asks Felicia what she missed, and Felicia says, Robert strikes again.

Principal Schultz says what’s in question is a children’s book that celebrates the diversity of Family. Willow would like to explain, but is interrupted by one of the mothers who says she shouldn’t have her own agenda. The classroom shouldn’t be a soapbox. Franco asks which kid is hers, and finds out she’s Bianca’s mother. Franco asks if she has any idea how hurt Aiden was when he wasn’t invited to the birthday party. Nina says, this is unacceptable.

At the MetroCourt, Sasha sees Michael, who says it’s nice to see her back on her feet. Sasha says she didn’t need to go to the hospital, but he says she was delirious when he saw her. She asks if she said anything embarrassing. Michael tells her that she said she wishes Nina was her real mother. Valentin overhears.

Doc tells Julian that he misunderstood. Julian says his sister is vulnerable. When she sees him, she doesn’t just see the man who killed her daughter, but the man who put her on a pedestal, and he’s manipulating that. He thinks if Ava forgives him, the whole town will. Doc says it’s none of his business, and Julian says Ava is coming with him. He grabs her, and Doc tells him not to manhandle her. Julian says, it’s better than assaulting her. Doc had his hands all over her, and was kissing her. Ava says she was kissing back. They’re together.

Peter tells Curtis it’s his and Maxie’s first date. They were flying to Paris, but the storm had other plans. He guesses they’ll have to settle for memorable. Curtis tells him that he’s doing a good job, and to squeeze every moment for all that it’s worth. God forbid something unexpected happens; something he’s not in control of. Don’t take things in life for granted like they’ll always be there. Make the most of each and every moment.

Maxie tells Laura that she and Peter have found every reason not move forward. Laura says they’re here now, and Maxie says they ironed some things out, but she thinks Peter doesn’t think he’s good enough for her. Isn’t that crazy? Laura says she’s heard about Peter’s childhood from Lulu. Keep in mind that he’s a complicated man with complicated feelings. Maybe Maxie has to simplify it, and make the first move.

Julian asks what Ava is talking about. She says it’s been all over the news, and The Invader. Julian says, The Invader is tabloid trash, but Ava says, in this case, it’s true. Ava says she and Doc have been seeing one another, and Julian says Doc is sicker than he thought. Doc suggests Julian leave, and Julian suggests Doc stay away from his sister. Doc says if he was a better brother, maybe she wouldn’t be as vulnerable. He’s been too busy building a bar and reconstructing his image. He’s a last resort for Ava now, just like with his children. Julian punches Doc in the face. A photographer pops out of nowhere, and starts taking pictures.

Curtis says the snow stopped, and Laura says they’re back in business. Curtis says, and out of Maxie and Peter’s. Laura says she’ll see them back in Port Charles. Peter is glad they could help. Laura and Curtis leave, and Maxie says, so…? Peter says, so.

Finn tells Chase that he’s not going after Robert, and Chase asks how else is he going to get the ring back? Finn says Robert is supposed to give it to him tonight. He appreciates it, but doesn’t need rescuing from his little brother. Chase says, history says otherwise, but Finn thinks he has it under control. He’ll let Chase know when the deed is done. Chase says he and Willow can take them out to celebrate. Finn says Chase is still with the school marm. Chase wishes Finn wouldn’t call her that, and Finn says that’s why he does it. He’s teasing. Chase says Willow takes her job seriously.

Nina says they wanted a discussion; let’s discuss. She’s going to say what Willow should have said at the get-go. Schools exist to help children learn to form their own ideas, which is what parents also do. It’s not to force feed them what someone else believes. She says, they want to read something that reflects their own experiences, or look through the window of the experiences of others. They’re not indoctrinating children, just helping them be who they are. Children will do it anyway, like it or not, so why not help the kids who need more guidance or extra guidance, and let them access that? It’s no big deal. If they want to talk about what’s hurting their kids, they should discuss the chicken fingers in the cafeteria.

Sasha tells Michael that she wouldn’t want that to get back to Nina. They’ve come so far so fast. It would hurt Nina. If Sasha is asked about her mom, she immediately thinks of her adoptive mother. She doesn’t think she can shake that feeling, but couldn’t share that with Nina. She asks if it bothers him, but he says it sounds like she’s protecting Nina. She says, by lying? He says, there are some lies and truths that serve no purpose. He doesn’t believe in the truth for truth’s sake. The world is not so black and white. Her secret is safe with him. Valentin continues to listen.

Laura and Curtis go back to the last house. Curtis says, the mail is gone, and Laura says, someone is home. She knocks, and a woman answers. She apologizes for coming by so late, but they were delayed be the storm. They introduce themselves as being from Canadian Revenue, and Curtis says they’re following up on a discrepancy in their records. Laura asks if the woman is April, and if they can come in. She says she’s April, but no. We see the newspaper inside with a headline about Ryan. Laura asks if April has been away, and April asks if that’s the discrepancy. Laura says, no, but they tried knocking earlier. No one answered, and she noticed the piled up mail, and assumed no one was home. April says she just got back from a trip. Curtis hopes it was somewhere warm, and April says, Miami. He says she doesn’t look like she got much sun. Laura asks how many people live there, and April says, just her. She tells them she’s tired. Laura tries to ask how long she’s lived there, but April closes the door.

Julian tells the reporter to get that guy out of his face, referring to the photographer. He says yes, he hit Doc, but Doc provoked him. He was harassing Julian all day. Ava tells Doc that he pushed all of Julian’s buttons. She didn’t know he had it in him. Doc says the better the show, the sooner they draw out Ryan, and the sooner it’s over. Julian says tell them it’s a misunderstanding and there was no crime. Ava looks at Doc.

Finn tells Chase that anyone juggling third graders and their parents has his admiration. Chase says Willow finds shaping kids hugely rewarding, and Finn says, good thing she has him to lean on. Chase says he’s not going anywhere, but things are complicated. Finn asks if she gave Chase homework, and I laugh. Chase says Willow’s ex is still an issue. She can’t shake him; not for lack of trying. Finn asks why Chase didn’t tell him sooner. He says, let’s get that jerk, and free your girl. He heads for the elevator.

Willow thanks Nina for defending her. Nina says she wasn’t. she was speaking out against censorship. Willow has poor judgement in the classroom, and is fundamentally dishonest. She saw Willow sucking up to Michael when she has a boyfriend. Willow says, that’s not what happened, but Nina tells Willow to watch herself – because she is.

Peter says, the trip has been full of surprises, and Maxie says, a flight to France. He says, rerouted to Canada. She says, surprise guests, and he says, there could be more surprises. He says he’s beat, and she says she is too. Maxie asks if he wants to go to sleep. He says, does she? and she says, there’s not much else to do this late. He says, not really, and they say goodnight. When Maxie is gone, Peter sighs.

Anna tells Felicia that Robert and Holly are taking a break. Does Felicia think she could fix him up? Felicia says, maybe he already has eye on someone. Anna says, he needs a woman to occupy himself. Felicia says he’s been hanging around Port Charles for a while, and wonders if it’s because of someone there.

Michael suggests he and Sasha go to the café. He knows the private entrance. She says she’ll meet him there. He leaves, and she runs into Valentin on her way out. He says she and Michael seem be hitting it off. She says they enjoy each other’s company, but he tells her to keep in mind her time there is limited. He and Nina will be married soon, and she can move away. Hopefully, as far as possible.

Peter flops on the bed, and thinks about kissing Maxie. Maxie flops on the bed, and thinks about kissing Peter. He sits up, and says, make the most of each and every moment. She sits up, and says, simplify. Make the first move. They meet in the suite living room, and start kissing. For all the time they wasted, they waste none now, and they both flop onto the bed.

Nina meets Valentin at the MetroCourt. He says she just missed Michael and Sasha. He says it’s officially been a fulfilling evening, and asks how hers went. She says, swimmingly. He asks if they got the book back in the library, and she says, that too.

Willow thanks Principal Schultz. She’s grateful for his support. She wants to run some ideas past him for next year’s curriculum. He says he’d intended to delay this conversation until the end of the school year, but it can’t be avoided. He’s sorry, but she won’t be invited back to teach next year.

Anna tells Felicia, it’s true. Robert has been hanging around so much lately. Felicia says maybe he’s looking to resettle there. Anna pities the poor woman. She gets a phone call, and steps away to take it.

Chase tells Finn that he doesn’t need rescuing, the same way Finn doesn’t. Finn says, you’re learning, grasshopper, and Chase goes, huh? Finn says, you are so young… never mind. If Chase needs help, let him know, and says hi to the school marm for him. Chase says, say hi to his future sister-in-law. Providing he gets the ring back. He tells Finn that he’ll keep his phone on, and to let him know what happens.

Robert and Mac show Felicia the ring. Mac says, well? Felicia says, it’s beautiful, but he’ll never pull it off. Robert asks why she’s being a pessimist. Mac says Robert described it to the jeweler, and he doesn’t think Finn will know the difference. Felicia supposes he has a point. Robert says, but will Anna find Finn’s proposal worth accepting? Felicia says Anna might keep her emotions to herself, but she knows Anna’s heart. She’s a woman in love. Ring or no ring, she’s ripe for a proposal.

Doc says Julian is Ava’s brother, but Ava says she’ll stand by Doc’s side if he wants to press charges. If that doesn’t get Ryan’s attention… Doc says, not much else would. She tells Julian that she’s so sorry, but there’s nothing she can do. He did assault her lover. Doc says he’d like to press charges. Julian asks what he’s talking about, as handcuffs are put on him.

Laura asks what Curtis thinks. He says, she lied. Laura says, why? and he says, covering something up maybe? Inside, April tells someone that she sent them away. The paper they wanted is on the table. We see the paper with a picture of Ava and Doc, and a knife comes down on it.

Tomorrow, Curtis is ready to talk, Anna tells Robert that she’s sworn off marriage, Mike proposes to Yvonne with the ring, Shiloh wants to complete Sam’s initiation, and someone goes after Laura.

The Haves and The Have Nots

Justin tells David, he’s been waiting for this moment. David says, get the gun out of his face. Justin says, get the hell out of his apartment. David sent those guys to his place. David says if Justin puts a gun on him, he’d better use it, and Justin says he plans to. David asks where his son is, and Justin says, get out. David says his son is all he has left, and he loves him. Justin says that makes two of them. David says he’d kill for Jeffrey, and Justin says, again, that makes two of them. Get out. David calls for Jeffrey, who’s in the bathroom. Justin repeats he’s not there. David says he has a lot of pictures of Jeffrey, and he’s having dinner for two by himself. Justin says he does that from time to time. David calls for Jeffrey again, and Justin says, get out. He means it.

Jeffrey comes out, and asks what the hell Justin is doing. Justin says, sorry, but David’s got to go. When Justin turns to talk to Jeffrey, David pops him, and takes the gun. He says he’ll kill Justin, and piss on his grave. Jeffrey tells him, stop it, and David lets Justin go. He tells Jeffrey to come with him, but Jeffrey says he’s not going. David asks if Jeffrey can’t see this boy is crazy, and Jeffrey says he’s trying to help Justin. David says they’re leaving, but Jeffrey says he’s an adult. David isn’t leaving him there, and Jeffrey asks how David knew where he was. David says Jeffrey needs to come home with him – now. Jeffery says he’ll make a deal. He’ll stop seeing Justin when David stops seeing Veronica. David says, that’s entirely different. Jeffrey tells him that he should go, and David says, fine. He tells Justin if any harm comes to his son, he’ll kill him. If so much as a fingernail is broken, he’s dead. He gives Jeffrey the gun, saying Jeffrey will need it more than he will. David leaves, and Jeffrey sits on the couch next to Justin, who looks wiped out.

Jeffrey asks if Justin is okay. Justin asks why David hates him so much, and Jeffrey says, yeah, he’s okay. Justin says he didn’t do anything to David. Why won’t he leave them alone? Jeffrey says he’s their only child. Justin says all he’s trying to do is love Jeffrey. Why is it so complicated? Jeffrey says he’ll get through this, and Justin says, with Jeffrey. Jeffrey says he needs Justin to talk to someone, and Justin says, don’t start that again. Jeffery says he’s going to go. His dad is going to be pissed off. Justin says, no. They’re finishing dinner. He still has dessert. If David is pissed now, he’ll be pissed later, and he made it for Jeffrey. Then he can leave. Jeffrey says, okay. Justin wonders why David did that, and Jeffrey says Justin knows.

Benny sees a news reporter interviewing Landon after the White House dinner. The reporter asks about Candice, and Landon says she and Charles have a special relationship. The reporter asks if they’ll be getting married, and Landon says, we’ll see. The reporter asks about the visit, and Landon says they loved her, and they all had fun being there. Benny tries to call Candace, but gets voicemail. He shouts for Hanna to come. She’s lying in bed, and says, not now. He goes into her bedroom, and says she needs to see this. He puts on the TV. The reporter is saying that Candace is a third year law student. Benny’s phone rings. It’s Mitch, who asks if he’s watching the news. He can’t believe she did it. She got the President. Benny asks if that’s the guy who came to the hospital. Mitch says, yes, but he had no idea. He says she has to be careful. Politicians are killers. Benny says Candace can handle herself, and Mitch says they’ll find out. Benny asks how Mitch’s uncle is doing, and Mitch says, all right. Benny asks if Mitch talked to him. Mitch asks, about what? and Benny says, the interest. Mitch says, he’s not budging. Does Benny have a plan? Benny says he was just talking to his mom about it. Mitch tells him, stay in touch, and let him know.

At the Iron Bone, the guy sitting next to Mitch at the bar asks if that wasn’t the girl who was in there. Mitch didn’t tell him that she was connected like that. Mitch asks if he wants to hit that now, but the guy says he didn’t vote for him. Mitch wonders when he’s given a sh*t, and the guy tells him, go buy a car. Mitch says if the guy has a problem with his car, buy him one, which totally sounds like what I would say. The guy says Mitch doesn’t have the money, and Mitch says he’s not kissing Vinnie’s ass like him. In five years, his car will be worth fifty grand. Vintage. The guy says, more like garbage, and Mitch says, ride that bike, dude. Dude tells the bartender he can’t stand Mitch.

Kathryn tells Jim that he needs to calm down. He says, don’t tell him what to do. He wonders how she stays calm, and she says she has drugs. He says that’s why he’s in this mess. How can she keep drugs there with his son? She says she didn’t think… and he says she never does. She says she thinks he’s an ass. He says she needs to go somewhere and sleep off, but she says she needs another drink. Then she’s going to call her Latin lover, and have him put her to sleep. Jim says she’s pathetic, and walks out.

Kathryn calls the hotel. She’s told Roderick isn’t there, and says she’s been calling all day. Kathryn Cryer. I’m your boss, bitch. She says to transfer her to the bar. Rocky answers, and she asks for Roderick. Roderick is standing there, shaking his head. Rocky says, actually, he is, and she says, put him on the phone. Roderick says, you bastard, and takes the phone. She says she’s been calling all day, and he says he’s been busy. She says she’s not the type who likes to be ignored, but he says he wasn’t ignoring her. He’s been busy. She asks if she detects a tone in his voice, and he says, no. He has a customer right now, and she says, make them wait. He says he’s going to check them in and go home. She says, no he isn’t. She’s coming in for a nightcap, and wants to see him. He doesn’t think so. She asks if it’s about Jim, and he says it’s about him, and he says no. She says his ass better be there when she arrives, and he hangs up. Rocky asks, did he just hang up on her? and Roderick says he did. Kathryn looks at the phone, and says, did he just hang up? Rocky says, she’s going to be pissed. Is Roderick trying to get fired? Roderick says, no. He’s trying to get to her. Watch the master at work. She’s used to getting what she wants, and the rich want what they can’t have. Rocky asks if he’s been reading a book on how to trap a wealthy woman. Roderick says he could write it. Watch him work. Rocky tells him, watch out for her husband. Roderick says, watch and see. When he leaves, Rocky says, that guy’s nuts.

Benny answers a knock at the door. It’s Mitch. He asks if Benny was watching the news. His sister’s with the President; it’s crazy. That’s her man now. He asks how Benny is doing, and Benny says, not good. Mitch says Benny called him; what’s up? Has he found a way to get the money? Benny says, no, and Mitch says Benny is wasting his time. Benny asks what Mitch thinks they’ll do to him. He can have a leg broke. He thinks he should go down there and take it like a man. Mitch says Benny doesn’t get it. It don’t work like that. They’ll break both legs, and still want the money. it’s accruing interest every week Benny doesn’t pay seen him. He knows a guy who borrowed $10K, and had to pay back $100K in eight weeks. This ain’t no bank. He told Benny not to do this in the first place. Now it’s legit. He wishes he could help. Benny suggests Mitch take out a loan, and Mitch laughs. He says, from who? and Benny says from his family. They won’t break his legs. Mitch says he’s not doing that. If he borrows money from them, that means he’s in the family. Benny asks, what’s wrong with that? and Mitch says, it ain’t cool. It’s hard enough trying separate from them. Benny says how about if he works? but Mitch says, it ain’t gonna happen. Benny asks if it’s because he’s Black, but Mitch says he’s not in the family. They only let family do things that make them money. He has no ideas or answers. Benny says he doesn’t need an I told you so. Hanna appears, and says, so they’re going to kill him if he doesn’t pay. Benny tells her, go on to bed, but she keeps talking. Mitch says, hi, and Hanna says, hi Mitch, without taking her eyes from Benny. She says he borrowed from people who are that bad? Benny says he had to do something. She says he has to deal with it then. He says if he took the interest from the money Candace got… She says, goodnight. They’re going to the bank in the morning, and giving it all back, and she doesn’t want to hear it. Benny says, it will be all right. She says, if he says so, and goes back upstairs. Mitch has an idea. Go to Candace for the money. She’s with the President now. Maybe he’s wired her to some account. It’s only $20K. Maybe she’ll give it to him. It’s worth a shot. She’s the one who got him into the situation with his truck. Benny says, might as well.

Charles and Candace go back to the hotel. Candace’s phone rings. She says it’s her brother, and Charles says her family probably saw her on the news. She asks, when? and he says, didn’t she see all the cameras outside the White House? She does know a press pool follows him and records everything, right? She says, yeah. She’ll talk to Benny later. Charles says, now where were they? He tells her that she’s gotten quiet. She says they were talking in the car, and he says, then she got quiet. She says, it’s a lot, and he tells her it helps to talk through it. She says, what part? Being here with President Elect when they just came from the White House? That doesn’t happen every day to a Black girl from Savannah. He knows it’s overwhelming, but she has to let him know what’s going on in her head. She tells him that he said she was a hot piece of Black ass. Charles says, what? Who? and she says, the President. Charles asks, when? and she says, at the table. He says, the President said those words, hot piece of Black ass? He takes out his phone, and says he’ll take care of this. She says that’s why she didn’t tell him. She knew he’d be upset. So the President knows what kind of person she is. He says it’s time the President knows what kind of person he is. She says she shouldn’t have told him. She ruined a perfectly good night. She’s been called a lot worse. He says, by a head of state? She says, no, and he says, exactly. She can see why it’s so disrespectful. She says, he’s so cool. What about the game in the car? He says that was before he knew the President said that. She tells him, let it go for the night. Charles doesn’t know if he can. She asks if that’s a challenge. Does he want her to take his mind off things? She kisses him, and asks if he wants more. He says, it’s a start. She wants to take a shower, and motions for him to come closer. She tells him, undress for her, calling him Mr. President. He says she should count herself lucky there isn’t a pole in there, but he could put one in the Oval. She helps him take off his clothes, and leads him to the shower.

Kathryn comes downstairs, and Jim asks where the hell she’s going. She says, out. He says he asked a question, and she says, she answered. He wonders if she’s going to the hotel, and she wonders if he’s going to hell. He asks if she has any idea what time it is, and she says, time for a nightcap. Wyatt pops out of his room, and tells Jim, get out of her way. She’s trying get to her man whore. He tells her, hurry back. He has a surprise for her. She leaves, and Jim tells Wyatt, go to his room. Wyatt says he has a surprise for Jim too. Jim says, now.

RK kisses Veronica on the couch. He asks, what’s wrong with her? and she asks if he got her jewelry. She tells him, no woman wants a man who’s sweaty, but he says, some like it. She says he had his chance. He’s a disgusting problem, and she wants him to get her jewelry. He says she gave him her son’s address. He’ll do what she wants. Nothing sexual. She tells him, don’t disgust her, and RK says, he’s gay. She asked RK to flirt with him, and get his mind off that cop. He’s got it, and can do it. She says, this will be worth her jewelry? He says he’ll have her son eating out of the palm of his hand. She says he can’t just go to the house. Her son is living with his father. She tells him, lay low, and she’ll figure it out. He says this is going to cover him for her jewelry, right? but she says he’ll be owing her for a very long time. Now get the hell out of her house. He asks if she’ll let him use a car then. He needs to get around. She laughs, and he leaves. She calls David’s voicemail, and say she’s still waiting for him to come back.

Kathryn walks into the Artisian. Roderick meets her. She asks how he is, and he says, good. She says, not that good, hanging up on her. He says he didn’t want talk to her anymore, and she asks, why is that? He’s sorry… She says she doesn’t have time for this. Get Rocky, and meet her upstairs. He doesn’t think so, and she says, excuse me? He says she heard him. She doesn’t think he heard her. The only reason he stayed here is because she wanted to see him. He says, not true. He was tied up with guests. She says, bullsh*t. They’re going upstairs. He says, they’re not going anywhere. He’s not doing threesomes anymore. She says she wants to, but he doesn’t care. She’s just using him. She asks what this is about, and he says he can’t keep doing this. If she gets tired of him, what does he get out of it? She says he’s the most excitement she’s had in long time. He says, so he’s just a toy. She says he’s not, and he asks what he gets out of it. She asks what he wants; a raise? He says, no, and she says, more money? He wants her. She laughs, and says, no, he doesn’t. Roderick asks if he’s gotten in her head, that husband of hers. He’s gotten in so deep, she can’t see what a beautiful woman she is. She says she was a beautiful woman, but when she looks in the mirror, she see the years have gone downhill. She’s in her 50s, and it would be foolish to think she could compete with a thirty-year-old he might be seeing. He says he’s not seeing anyone else. He wants her. If he can’t have her the way he wants, fire him now, but if she comes at him like she wants him, he’s not a piece of meat. He walks away, and she says, okay.

She goes to the bar, and orders scotch on the rocks. I retch because I hate scotch, even the smell. She watches Roderick talk to a customer. She asks if Rocky is free, and Rocky tells her Roderick is serious. She says he’d better make it a double.

Justin washes the dishes while Jeffrey dries. Justin asks, who keeps calling. Jeffrey says, his dad. Justin says, sorry about that, and Jeffrey says he shouldn’t have put a gun to David’s head. Justin says David shouldn’t have sent people after him. Jeffrey knows, and Justin asks why Jeffrey is sticking up for him. Jeffrey says he’s not. He’d better go. Justin doesn’t want him to leave. He notices Jeffrey got a text, and asks if it was Jeffrey’s dad. Jeffrey says it was, and Justin asks what he said. Jeffrey says, nothing. He just wants him to come home already. Justin says Jeffrey put his phone face down. Is he hiding something? Jeffrey says, no, but Justin wants to see. Jeffrey says he’s not doing that. It’s his phone. Justin says Jeffrey can go through his phone, but Jeffrey doesn’t want to. Justin says Jeffrey can see all the nasty texts from his wife, co-workers, boss, mother, and brothers. Jeffrey says it’s his personal business, but Justin wants to see his phone. Jeffrey says, no, and Justin says it’s because he’s lying. Jeffery says, enough; stop. Justin says, they trust each other, right? Jeffrey says he’s not giving Justin his phone. They just had a nice dinner. Can they not do this? Justin keeps insisting, and Jeffrey says he’s going.

Jeffrey’s phone rings, and Justin grabs it. He asks, who is this? and Wyatt says, damn. Is that guy still messing around with him? Justin says he is, and asks again who it is. Wyatt tells him to put Jeffrey on the phone. Justin says he told Wyatt never to call Jeffrey. Wyatt says he’ll call as much as he pleases. Give Jeffrey the phone. Justin says he means it. If Wyatt calls again, he’ll break Wyatt’s jaw. He says, wait. Was Wyatt trying to get ahold of him? Does the straight boy need a fix? Get on his knees again? Wyatt says he didn’t do a damn thing, but Justin says he wanted to. Wyatt says, go to hell, and Justin tells him, don’t call again. Jeffrey says, give him his phone. Justin says he’s been texting Madison. I say, uh-oh. Justin says Jeffrey texted Madison his address. They were having a nice, romantic dinner, and Jeffrey texted the address. What else is in there? Jeffrey says he’s not doing this again. Keep it.

He heads for the door. Justin takes out two guns. He holds one to Jeffrey’s head, and one to his own head.

Next time, Jeffrey says only one gun has a bullet, Benny asks Jim if he wants to go again, and Kathryn tells Jim she’s going to let Hanna keep all of the money.

🐉 Dracarys Or Bust

I don’t know what everyone is so upset about. The remaining dragon is fine.

Varys told a kitchen maid, the greater the risk the greater the reward, when she told him Dany wouldn’t eat, and I had a mental picture of him looking at a medieval motivational poster. (Please note the connection of dots below that I totally missed here.) He tried to get Jon to reveal who he really is, but Jon said Dany was his queen. Varys told him, every time a Targaryen is born, the gods toss a coin and the world holds its breath. Tyrion told Dany about Varys meddling, and Dany though Jon betrayed her by telling Sansa, who told Tyrion. Dany said it didn’t matter now, and looked older than sixteen for the first time. Grey Worm took Varys to Tyrion, Dany and Jon. Varys hoped he deserved what was coming, and was proved wrong. Dany sentenced him to die, and it was dracarys and a roasted Varys. I liked him, but well, there you go.

Dany gave Grey Worm Missandel’s old collar, and he burned it. Jon said Dany was his queen and she wanted to get busy, but it was a hard no, which didn’t make her too happy. Tyrion told Dany the people of King’s Landing were prisoners. She said she was going to be merciful… to future generations. Tyrion looked sick. She said the next time Tyrion failed her would be the last. Arya and the Hound were on a mission to kill Cersei. Jaime got caught, and Tyrion went to see him. He told Jaime that Cersei would die unless he could get her to stay her course of action. The city was going to fall, He should escape with Cersei, and start a new life. He said, tens of thousands of innocent lives, and one not-so-innocent dwarf was a fair trade. If it hadn’t been for Jaime, he wouldn’t have survived childhood. At King’s Landing, Cersei was like, see ya, and locked herself in the Keep. Arya and the Hound managed to muscle their way through the crowd,, but Jaime had noon such luck. Waiting on his Iron Boat, (sounds like) Urine Greyjoy kept checking the sky. Why she didn’t do this last week, I’ll never know, but everyone got darcarysed by Dany on Drogon, including Urine. This caused the crew at the city door to scramble around, but they got singed as well. I guess if you want something done right…

Zoolander headed Cersei’s army, and everyone stood around until King’s Landing was blown apart from the inside. Grey Worm led the charge, but I don’t know why he even bothered at that point. Zoolander tried to run, but got trampled, and it was pretty funny. Then he literally got stabbed in the back by Grey Worm. Cersei watched from her off-ivory tower as her city burned. She said all they needed was one good shot. Old guy Hand was like, give up, but Cersei stuck with being delusional, saying the city hadn’t fallen yet, and it wouldn’t today. I laughed when the dragon flew over the city, and everyone scurried to get anywhere but there. (Sorry, I never had much investment in any of the characters, except Tyrion and the dragons, and sometimes find the over-the-top stuff a bit Monty Pythonish.) Then I was really laughing when the head soldier dude threw his sword down, and Cersei’s idea that they’d protect her to the death didn’t happen. Jaime snuck around the back way.

The bell rang, indicating surrender, but Dany didn’t care. She flew straight at the tower Cersei was in, with everyone in the city running like Godzilla was coming. Dracarys was everywhere, and there was a melee with the remaining soldiers, where Jon just stood around spacing out, and Grey Worm single-handedly creamed about five dozen soldiers. He was like Michonne on Walking Dead. Tyrion was like, wtf?

Somehow, Urine survived, and he and Jaime ended up in the same cave. Urine said he became king once he screwed the queen. They fought, and I was like, oh please, don’t let Jaime get killed by this loser. It looked like Jaime was a goner, but that was still debatable. Cersei cried a tear, and old guy Hand said they’d find a better place to wait out the storm. She let him lead her away.

Jaime managed to crawl to his sword, and stab the crap out of Urine. He stomped off, while Urine’s last words were that he got Jaime, and he was going to die thinking he was the man who killed Jaime Lannister. I think the line would have been better had he said the Kingslayer, but that’s just me. The Hound told Arya to go home, but she wanted to kill Cersei. He said revenge was all he cared about his whole life, and look at him. Did she want to be that? He said if she went with him, she’d die. She thanked him, and got the hell out of there, as we all would had he given us that option.

We found out the Mountain looked like Uncle Fester under his helmet. No wonder he’s always so pissed off. Jaime found Cersei, and stopped my fun in watching her be scared for the first time. They clutched each other. The Hound shoved his sword all the way through the Mountain, but it was just a flesh wound, and the Mountain pulled it out, and made like Yul Brynner in the original Westworld. I was hoping Arya would save him, as the Mountain tossed him around like a football, but she was taking a similar pummeling, trying to run with the crowd. The Hound heard me say, get his eyeball, and stabbed the Mountain in it. While the Mountain struggled to pull out the blade, they both went over the side of the tower into the burning city. By now, Jon was all, fall back, like an hour too late. Arya tried to help the people hiding, but ended up in flames herself… or so we thought. Cersei whined to Jaime that she didn’t want to die like this. She should have thought of that before. Idiot narcissist that he is, Jaime said nothing else mattered but them. Everything fell around them.

Arya rose from the ashes. Sadly without dragon babies. She got on a white horse that seemingly appeared out of nowhere, and rode away. Next time – the finale – Tyrion surveys the damage, and Dany rules (?).

Now who’s going to clean up all that dracarys?

💭 What We Thought…

Theories about Jaime, including mine, bite the dust along with King’s Landing.

https://www.menshealth.com/entertainment/a27445554/game-of-thrones-director-jaime-brienne/?src=nl&source=nl&utm_source=nl_mnl&utm_medium=email&date=051219&utm_campaign=16850244

🔥 What Happened…

I was possibly too concerned about the remaining dragon to connect the dots.

https://www.distractify.com/p/did-varys-try-to-poison-daenerys?utm_source=distractify&utm_medium=email

Foreshadows come to pass.

https://www.theringer.com/game-of-thrones/2019/5/13/18617389/game-of-thrones-daenerys-targaryen-season-8-episode-5-mad-queen

🐲 How Many Felt…

My favorite recap.

https://betches.com/game-of-thrones-recap-aryas-gonna-take-her-horse-to-the-old-town-road/

📷 Nice Photos!

Trying to end on an upbeat note.

https://nypost.com/2019/05/12/why-game-of-thrones-episode-5-was-the-deadliest-yet/?utm_source=maropost&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=nypdaily&utm_content=20190513&tpcc=morning_report&mpweb=755-7911524-711673032

🌴 Due to time constraints (i.e. I need time to sleep), and a Mother’s Day debacle that infringed on said time, I’m begging off The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills until tomorrow. Both LVP and Giggy (!) made an appearance, which made it worthwhile.

🛀 Soap Within Soap…

While there have been Rows since then, this is the original.

May 10, 2019 – Kristina Confronts Shiloh, a Repressed Smile, 90 Day Update, OC News, What’s New With Lala, James Is the Worst, Don’t Go, an Answer, Six Quick Quotes & I Won’t Do It Either

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Finn checks in on Jordan. He says she looks busy, and she says she’s working. He thinks it might be time to take a leave of absence. She says she can handle it, and he says he knows she can, but it’s her remaining kidney he’s worried about. She says he wins; she’ll take a break. He asks, how many weeks? and she says, ten minutes. She thought he said Doc was a match. TJ overhears and comes in, saying that’s great news. Finn says, not so fast.

Toronto. On someone’s porch, Curtis says she has four kids and is taking care of elderly parents. Even if she wanted to help Ryan… Laura says, when would she have the time? She says, at least their cover is holding up. Curtis says they’re from Revenue Canada and there’s a discrepancy in the records. He hopes no one sees through it. He says, four down, and nineteen to go. Laura says, who knows? They could be behind the next door. Curtis says, true, but so could Ryan.

At Charlies with Doc, Ava is disappointed that Julian isn’t there. She thought he’d be the perfect litmus test for their relationship. He knows her almost better than anyone else. Doc wonders why she didn’t let Julian in on it, but she says, the fewer people who know, the better. He asks if she thinks so little of Julian, and she says at least her brother doesn’t kill people for sport. Doc says he doesn’t need a reminder of the damage Ryan did. Ava says that’s why they need to convince everyone that they’re in a caring relationship. If she didn’t know better, she’d think they were having their first lover’s quarrel.

At their hotel, Peter says, sorry the flight was so long, but Maxie says, it’s not the journey; it’s the destination. He doesn’t think that’s the saying, and she says, it is today. It’s everything he said, including the pressure free separate rooms. She asks if they should see what’s next for them?

Alexis calls Kristina, and leaves a message asking if Julian gave Kristina her job back. Sonny knocks at the door. He says he came over to see how she and Kristina are doing. He knows them being under the same roof isn’t easy. Alexis says, it’s not a problem right now; Kristina isn’t there. He asks where she is.

Shiloh tells Kristina that he had a feeling right here. He puts his hand to his heart. He knew today would be the day he saw her again. She says here she is. She goes inside, and he says, welcome home.

Finn says TJ is a medical student, but also the commissioner’s son. Maybe she’ll listen to him better. Despite a donor being a match, why would they question a potential donor? TJ says they do a battery of tests to make sure the kidney is safe for the patient to receive, but also that it’s safe for the donor to give in the first place. Finn says, exactly right. TJ says, speaking as the commissioner’s son, does Finn anticipate a problem? Finn says, no, but it’s medicine, and there are no guarantees. He’s going to check on the tests now, and give them time to talk.TJ asks how Jordan is feeling. She calls him Dr. Ashford, and he says he’s not a doctor yet. She tells him that she’s practicing, but he doesn’t want her to jinx it. She says other than being anxious, she’s not bad. He hopes she’s playing games on her laptop, but she says she’s working. He tries to take the laptop, but she hangs onto it. She says the upside of being stuck there is that she gets to see more of him. He’s glad her spirits up, but wonders if she’s covering for Curtis. He hasn’t seen Curtis around, and wonders what’s up with them.

Laura and Curtis leave an apartment, and Curtis says, that was aggressive. At least they know there’s no way she arranged the pharmacy break-in. Who would have guessed she was a tax collector? They could have been turned in, but it was a good save with the fake ID. Laura says she came prepared. He says please tell him the next one is a nurse specializing in amputations. She says, close. From what she found out online, the woman volunteers at two hospitals, likes tall white men over forty, and here’s the kicker… He says, she loves strays. Laura says they might have s winner. So let me get this right. She found all that out about this woman, but didn’t know what the last person did for a living? Okay.

Ava says the way Doc is glued to his phone, she doesn’t know whether it’s compromising the idea of their relationship or making it more realistic. He says he was hoping for good news. She ask if everything is okay. She knows he misses Laura. He says Laura is in Canada searching for Ryan. Ava says, no doubt, he’d rather be with her, but he’s doing more good here. They have to be seen public if their plan is going to work. Does he mind her asking what he’s waiting for, if not Laura? He says he’s waiting to hear from Finn. Ava says, he’s not sick, is he? He says, on the contrary. He’s hoping to donate a kidney to Jordan. He’s a match, but before he can donate, he had to go through some tests. He’s hoping to hear soon. She says, he’s just so not his brother. He says he should hope not. She supports his decision, but they are in the middle of a sting. It will be hard to be seen in public if he’s in the hospital. He says he’s talking about saving a life, and she says she’s talking about finishing the bastard off once and for all.

Alexis explains to Sonny that Kristina is trying to get her job back, and he’s surprised she believes Kristina. She could go back to Shiloh the first chance she gets. Neil arrives, and Alexis says they could use an expert. Sonny thinks she should lock Kristina in her room, but she opted to let Kristina go. Which one of them is right?

Shiloh asks if Kristina wants some tea, but she says, no thank you. He says she seems anxious, and she backs up when he tries to touch her. He says her family said she was taking time away to rethink her life. She says that’s exactly what she was doing; rethinking her life and choices. He says, good. That means she’s coming back stronger than ever. She says she’s not coming back. He says he’s disappointed, and she says she’s sorry he feels that way. He says he misses her more than she knows. She says, since she’s no longer a member, she’d appreciate it if he gave her Pledge back to her.

Sonny appreciates everything Neil has done, but his part is finished. Neil says it’s not. He was retained to treat Kristina, and there’s still work to do. He’s questioning whether Alexis should have let Kristina leave. He says they can sit tight and see if she goes back to Shiloh, or chase her down, and guarantee she does. It’s up to Sonny. Sonny says, fine. Alexis thanks him. Neil knows they have their differences, but once they got going, they were a good team. Miss Tait survived her experience, and it was a pivotal moment when she told Kristina about it. He thinks she got through. Kristina knows Shiloh poses and emotional and sexual threat. Alexis did the right thing. He thinks they should trust their daughter enough to let her go.

Shiloh says Kristina can’t simply take back her Pledge. She asks, why not? It’s not like he needs it for anything. He says, that’s not the point. That’s not how this works. She says it’s up to him; DOD is his operation. He tells her, it was a symbol of good faith. She wonders where all that crap about loving her for her goodness and spirit went when he was planning on raping her. He says he’d never do anything like that, and she says he drugged her. He lead her to the attic, had her put on that sister wife dress, and gave her drugged tea. He insists it was Valerian root, just to make her comfortable. She says it was to make certain she wouldn’t protest having sex with him. He says he doesn’t know who she is. Who put these ideas in her head? She asks if he wants a name, and he says he would love a name. She says the name is David Henry Shiloh Archer – him.

Ava tells Doc that they shouldn’t be fighting. They’re supposed to be love birds. He says imagine how annoyed Ryan will be when he finds out Doc is donating an organ to the official who exposed him, and his soulmate is by his side. She says, that’s good. They should milk it for all it’s worth. He asks how they do that. It’s not like they’re surrounded by paparazzi. She says, who needs them? She takes out her phone, and he says, a selfie? She says, a convincing one. Pucker up. She kisses him, and takes the picture.

Jordan tells TJ, Curtis is out of town working on a case. He asks, what kind? and she says, a missing person. He asks if the missing person could be Ryan. A few weeks ago Curtis asked him about a list of medications and what they’re for. One of them was for clotting purposes, and he doesn’t have to be Sherlock Holmes to make that leap. Curtis is looking for Ryan, isn’t he?

Peter and Maxie come into the hotel suite with a bunch of shopping bags. Maxie says, the shopping. Who knew? She takes out a tiny beret, and says James is going to rock this. Peter says there’s nothing James can’t rock. She says she’s having the best time. He says, him too; except for the weather. He didn’t realize it would be cold. He was hoping to have their first meal al fresco, so they could watch passersby and he could show her off to the world. She says, everything is amazingly beautiful, and he says, like her.

Alexis is sure Kristina will walk through the door any minute. Sonny asks when she left, and Alexis says it was about an hour ago. Maybe she went to get coffee, or visit Valerie or Sam. Sonny says, as long as it’s not DOD. Neil says they need to let Kristina be an adult. He thinks she’s healing, and doesn’t believe she’d let Shiloh influence her anymore. Sonny says, unless he holds her Pledge over her head.

Shiloh tells Kristina, calm down. He suggests they talk through it, and make peace. She says, no. She doesn’t want to listen to him talk circles around her. She’s leaving and wants her signed Pledge and recording. He says it was her gift to him. She may have lost faith in DOD, but he has the utmost faith in her. <yawn>

Jordan asks TJ to keep it between them, but he says he has to tell Molly. They don’t keep secrets. She says they’re still young. She asks if he swears they’ll keep it between themselves, and he says, of course (🍷). She says he’s right. Curtis is searching for Ryan. He asks if there are any leads, and she says, a few. He guesses it’s an okay reason for Curtis not be there.

Doc asks if Ava is all right, and she says she’s fine. She just needs a minute to post it on social media. He says her hands are shaking, but she says she’s totally fine. She asks if he wants her to send it to him or should she just share and repost? He says it seems to be the digital way of being a couple today. She says, it will drive Ryan crazy. She’s done; his turn. He gets a text from Finn that his test results are in, and needs to go. She says she’s going with him; his doting girlfriend. In for a penny… Ha-ha! The look on his face.

Curtis knocks on the door, but he doesn’t think anyone is in there. Laura sees the mail spilling out of the mailbox, and looks at it. She says, it goes back for months; as far back as when Ryan was in Port Charles. Curtis says they might as well cross it off the list. Inside the house, someone watches them.

Maxie suggests she and Peter bundle up, take a walk, and find the perfect place to watch the sunset. He says she knows how to make the best of a situation. She knows he had a plan, but the things they were going to see aren’t going anywhere. She’s sorry it isn’t the first date he’d intended, and he says, the best laid plans. She asks if that’s Shakespeare, but he says, Douglas Adams, and before him, Robert Burns. She says, it’s perfect. He says for him too. She says, kind of French counts, and he, absolutely. They kiss.

Curtis says when Laura first insisted on coming, he thought he’d have to mind his P’s and Q’s, and be on the straight and narrow. She says, she is the mayor, and he asks, how is it the mayor got personally involved in the search? She wants to see Ryan brought to justice for the people he hurt. He says, and Ava? She says they’ve had differences in the past, but no one deserves what Ryan did. He says Ava has been spending a lot of time with Doc. She must feel some kind of way. She says she does, but it’s not her business. He says, at this point, he thinks they’re making it everyone’s business. It’s all over the news and social media. Laura says she has no control over what people say or do. Curtis says it’s almost like they’re making themselves a target to flush out Ryan, so they can take matters into their own hands. She says that’s why they need to find Ryan before he finds them. Curtis says, especially since Doc is a match for Jordan. He wants the question of Ryan settled before the transplant.

At the hospital, Finn notes that Ava is there too. Doc says he’ll just tell her what Finn says anyway. They’re very close. Finn is sorry, but Doc isn’t a suitable kidney donor. Doc says, he’s a match, but Finn says his glucose levels are too high; he’s pre-diabetic. He imagines it was brought on by the ordeal of being malnourished at Ferncliff. I’m not sure what that says about how they feed the patients there. Doc says, so he’ll eat right and exercise, but Finn says they need the kidney sooner than he’ll be able to provide one. Doc says there has to be something he can do. Finn knows he’s disappointed, but there’s nothing more he can do.

TJ tells Jordan that Kiki liked Finn, and he agrees. Jordan says, Finn is proof you can be wildly successful without a discernable bedside manner. TJ says, in watching Finn, he thought could specialize in infectious diseases. Jordan says whatever he decides to do, he should do because he loves it, not because someone else thinks he should, even her. She’s happy and proud of him, no matter what. Finn comes back, and says, sorry. They can’t use Doc.

Alexis says, if Shiloh is going to use the Pledge, then good. Sonny says, that’s easy for her to say. She’s not… He looks at Neil. Neil says everything is confidential, unless he’s planning on committing a crime. Alexis says, extortion is a felony, but Sonny says only if they can prove it. She says, Kristina will testify, and so will Willow. It’s to Shiloh’s benefit to keep it a secret. Sonny says, he seems bulletproof. He asks Neil when they can question Kristina about it.

Shiloh tells Kristina that he’d be remiss if he wasn’t honest. She says, about the Pledge? and he says, about her. She’s changed drastically since she left. She says her eyes have been opened, but he says she’s closed them, and her mind and heart. She was thriving there. She found her passion and heart. Even if she walks out the door like this, the door will always be open to her. He hopes she walks through it again soon. Kristina walks out, and Shiloh looks a little worried.

Peter and Maxie kiss some more, and Maxie says, hold that thought. She has a teeny errand to run. She saw a lingerie boutique in the lobby. Tonight is not the night she’s wearing her flannel PJ’s to bed. She’ll be right back. She leaves, and he smiles.

Laura asks if Curtis is saying Doc offered to give Jordan a kidney. He thought she knew. He didn’t mean to break confidence. She can understand why he’d want do that, and asks if it’s already been scheduled. Curtis says it needs to happen soon, but there are still hurdles before it’s a go. He knows they want to get out of their sooner than later, and Laura says they can work while they eat. She asks how Jordan is doing, and he says she was fine this morning. He’ll hear later if Doc is the donor.

Doc tells Ava that he wanted to do it; he needed to, in a way, make amends, Ava says, it’s a noble gesture. He says, it was a way to help save the commissioner’s life. It was tangible; giving part of himself. A way to make up for one life that was taken. Ava says, that’s not how this works. He can’t make up for the lives someone else took. Her daughter is gone, and nothing will make up for it, or any of Ryan’s victims. He asks if there’s nothing he can do, and she says, forget amends and making it even. Focus on the possible; being a good person, the good man that he is. He says, is he? She says he is, and leans in to kiss him. He backs up, and asks what the hell she’s doing.

Finn tells Jordan that Doc’s body needs his kidney, but they get new donors all the time. TJ says, it’s a crapshoot, and Finn says they can talk about alternatives. He knows TJ isn’t a match, but does she have any other family members? TJ says she never talks about her relatives. There has to be someone out there. A cousin, an aunt, a second cousin?

On the phone with Harmony, Shiloh says, as he predicted, the dummy Pledges were stolen. Luckily, they were moved to a safe location. I’m thinking, the lighthouse.

Sonny tells Alexis that Sam is working on getting Kristina’s Pledge. She says it’s his turn to call Kristina. She already did and got voicemail. He asks why she doesn’t call again, but she says if she calls, it will sound like she’s badgering Kristina. If he calls, she’ll think it’s adorable. Until he judges her. Then she’ll hate his guts. So be adorable, and don’t judge. Kristina walks in, and Alexis says her dad came by to check on her. Neil came to see if there’s anything she wants to talk about. Sonny hears she went to Charlie’s to try and get her job back. He asks how that went, and Kristina says, fine. He asks where she went afterward. Neil asks how was her first day out? She says Julian was a little mad, and it was harder than she expected, but still not as hard as going to DOD. Neil asks how that went, and she says, not great. She made it clear to Shiloh that she won’t be coming back. Alexis asks how he took it, and Kristina says, he was hurt. Sonny asks if she’s okay, and Alexis says she’s clearly upset. Alexis asks what Kristina said. Kristina says, nothing he could predict, and nothing he wanted to hear. She said, goodbye. She just wants to be alone, and goes upstairs. They all look at each other.

Ava is so embarrassed. She’s sorry, and asks Doc to try and understand. She was so in love. Doc says, with Ryan, and Ava says, no, with a man she thought was Doc. That Doc understood her. He accepted and loved her as she is. She knows he was a lie, and a monster. He murdered her daughter, and then climbed into bed with her for an alibi. For a moment, she forgot. She asks Doc to forgive her. He says what Ryan did to her was horrific. He’ll do what it takes to make it right, including pretending they’re in a relationship. But he wants Ava to understand, he loves his wife. Ava says she understands, and she’s sorry. It was just a momentary confusion. He says, understood, but if she gets confused again, he’ll shut this whole thing down. That seems just a wee bit harsh. Her lips didn’t even get that close to him.

Jordan says her family is scattered. She’s not in touch with anyone. Finn says she could give a DNA sample to one of those website that help people find family members. She says she’ll think about it. I have the feeling she doesn’t mean that, but the topic will be revisited. Finn’s sorry. He wishes he had better news. He’ll check in later. He leaves, and Jordan tells TJ that they’ll get through this. She promises everything will be fine. TJ says, okay. How?

Peter pops champagne. There’s a knock at the door. He opens it, and Maxie breezes in. She says, shopping success. And she got a bonus. Look who she found. Curtis and Laura come in. Maxie says she overheard the clerk telling them the hotel was booked up. Laura says they’re working on an investigation, and they thought they’d rest up while the worst of the storm passes. Maxie says they have the room, and obviously she couldn’t leave them stranded, so she invited them to hang out there. Peter says, welcome, and tries not to act disappointed. I try not to act like I must have missed a crucial point in the story. I assume there was a storm, and Peter’s plane got diverted to Toronto?

Alexis thinks they all know what went on at DOD. Sonny says Shiloh threatened to use Kristina’s Pledge. Does she think he’s pissed enough to blackmail Kristina? Neil knows this is important, but it’s a problem for later. They should focus on the great that happened. Sonny says, what great thing? Neil says Kristina faced Shiloh, and it was her first day of freedom. She faced the man who tried to brainwash her, and made every effort to separate her from her family. And what did she do? Sonny says, she came home. Neil says, not just home. The home of a mother she has a contentious, turbulent relationship with. She chose her family. Take the win. Sonny says, he’s right. No matter what happens, they have their daughter back.

On the phone, Shiloh says he had the feeling someone would try to get ahold of Kristina’s Pledge. He has it somewhere safe and sound for whenever they need it.

On Monday, Alexis is glad Julian did it, Ned says Oscar had a plan, and Josslyn says it’s the last thing she wants to do; she’s not ready.

😏 Today, for the first time ever, I saw Judge Judy have a hard time not smiling, and that includes the times children have testified. A dude went on for a bit about what a fan he was, and her mouth twitched for a while. He was kind of a cool older guy. Like a peripheral character from a Spike Lee movie.

💍 90 Day Fiancé has yet another spin-off Pillow Talk – Mondays at 10 pm. This is a fun show. Another take on People’s Couch, various cast members watch the shows from Happily Ever After? that have other cast members in them. Did you follow that? David and Annie are one of the couples commentating, and it’s shown a whole other side of them. They’re actually very funny and fun.  Anne laughed so hard at one point, she gave the best quote so far: My squid come out of my nose.

The franchise has also been showing Our Journey So Far, both a retrospective of couples from previous seasons. Tonight, Melanie and Devar were up, who I hadn’t seen much of previously. I thought Devar seemed like a super nice guy; good to and for her son, despite her family’s concerns, which were understandable. His mom already lived in the states – she left Jamaica when he was nine to support the family – and she’d already been petitioning to get him here. It was also disconcerting when he said once he started working, he wanted to send 90% back to his sisters in Jamaica. But, they seem to love each other, and I did see them on one of the reunion shows. They looked happy, and that’s all that counts, right? At least he isn’t like Pedro, who is a total mama’s boy a-hole.

👰 Past the 90 Days…

These two are on their second divorce filing. He seems way to young, and she seems like she needs heavy-duty therapy.

http://extratv.com/2019/04/26/reality-star-ashley-martson-reveals-why-she-filed-for-divorce-again/?adid=extra_eme_27002_2019-04-26_rightnow1

On the other hand, these two are sweet. Balancing it out a little.

https://www.eonline.com/news/1036688/90-day-fiance-s-kalani-gives-birth-to-a-baby-boy?source=email&medium=emn-content-4&cmpid=morning-a&content=emn-news

🌴 Meanwhile, In the OC…

Tamra and Kelly continue their feud.

https://radaronline.com/exclusives/2019/05/kelly-dodd-tamra-judge-feud-mother-abuse-lies/

And Vicki celebrates being engaged to a wet blanket. But at least he’s not Brooks.

https://radaronline.com/exclusives/2019/05/vicki-gunvalson-wears-cap-celebrating-engagement/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

💋 Love Me Some Lala…

I find the whole 50 Cent thing a little disturbing though.

https://www.etonline.com/chrissy-teigen-chimes-in-on-lala-kent-50-cents-feud-i-never-ever-want-50-cent-to-be-mad-at-me

As always, she rocks a fashion statement, but I wish this had been a tad more colorful. It washes her out.

https://www.bravotv.com/vanderpump-rules/lookbook/lala-kent-sexy-sheer-ruffle-moulin-rouge-dress-paris-vacation

👎 Not Loving James So Much…

I think it’s not about the pasta or Lala. This dude has issues all on his own.

https://radaronline.com/exclusives/2019/05/vpr-rumble-james-kennedy-slams-lala-kent-after-her-fiances-50-cent-feud/?utm_source=email&em_hash=72048a93bc8188334dc1071a32fe8f3b

I wouldn’t want a lipstick named after him either. Although I love her attitude. If it makes money for her, it’s all good.

https://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/news/lala-kent-discontinues-james-lip-gloss-from-makeup-line/

🍸 Not Far From LalaLand…

I can’t imagine a Beverly Hills without LVP. Is this the beginning of the end?

https://pagesix.com/2019/05/06/lisa-vanderpump-stops-filming-rhobh-after-being-bullied-off-show/?utm_source=maropost&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=pagesixdaily&utm_content=20190507&tpcc=pagesix_daily&mpweb=755-7847643-711673032

🚫 In Totally Unrelated News…

I know I’ve always wanted to know the answer. What is the that he won’t do?

https://waterfordwhispersnews.com/2017/05/05/meatloaf-confirms-but-i-wont-do-that-was-a-strap-on/

🌋 Quotes of the Week

A man is known by the company he keeps.Aesop

The only sure weapon against bad ideas is better ideas. – Alfred Whitney (If only we could get some of those going.)

Art is either plagiarism or revolution. – Paul Gauguin

In nature, nothing is perfect and everything is perfect. – Alice Walker

You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog. – Harry S. Truman

We generate the results in life that we think we deserve. – Dr. Phil (Booyah!)

⛔ Me Neither…

I also won’t sing Meat Loaf songs at karaoke. A bunch of drunk people do not want to hear a ten minute story song at midnight. The exception: Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad. A mere five and a half minutes.

 

 

May 7, 2019 – Freedom For Kristina, the President Doesn’t Like Charles, Beverly Hills Goes Camping (Sort Of, Not Really), Promised Throne, Snarky Throne, Reason Rebut, Rogue Coffee Cup & Finally

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Carly comes down to find Jax. They hug.

Anna tells Finn that Robert drives her crazy, but has a way of giving her clarity. She realized the truth was staring her in the face. Peter isn’t her son.

Peter takes Maxie onto a private plane. He wanted to make sure their overdue date was special. She says, a five-star restaurant is special. This is… She tells him it’s hard to pack when you don’t know where you’re going. Is he going to tell her? He says, guess. She guesses they’re going to see a Broadway show in New York. He says, no, but it’s a city. She says, LA? Chicago? Are they going to Portland to see Georgie? He says, no, but he’s filing that away for next time. Think bigger, like internationally. She says it’s a good thing she always takes her passport, and he says he took that into consideration. He says there are bridges, and a tower by a guy named Eiffel. She says, they’re going to Paris?

Michael tells Willow, yesterday was huge for Kristina and his family. He knows it was intensely painful, but Willow says, it was for a good cause. Michael says, that doesn’t make it easier, and thanks her again.

Neil tells Kristina that she’s free to go. The choice is hers. Chase appears at the door and says, there she is. He tells Kristina that she’s not an easy person to find.

Sam arrives at DOD. Shiloh says he was beginning to think she changed her mind. She hands him the recorder, and says it’s her Pledge to him and everything he stands for. She goes inside, and he smiles behind her back. She says, it’s so quiet, and wonders where everyone went. He says they went to a rally in Beecher’s Corners. Normally, he’d be there, but her Pledge requires his special attention. He listens to what she’s recorded.

Anna tells Finn that she has no way of knowing how Cabot’s procedure worked, but guesses it’s a memory that Alex wouldn’t be strong enough to carry on her own; giving birth to a son, and giving him up for adoption. That’s the memory that was implanted; she knows it. She says she should hate Alex, but she doesn’t. She feels kind of sorry for her.

Maxie says she hasn’t been in Paris in forever, and even then, it was only for work. Tell her about it. He describes some sights, and she says he’s using a lot of words she can’t pronounce (and I can’t type that fast). He says he’s talking about the stained glass. When the sun hits it; it’s stunning. He says they can get ice cream, and the best falafel she’s ever had. She says, dessert before lunch? She’s in. She wonders if they can get a croissant in there, and he says they can get one at the metro. She says, bread from a subway station? She’ll see. The attendant says they’re ready for take-off.

Sam asks Shiloh if there’s something wrong. He’d assumed the secret would be about her, but she says she’s already told him all her secrets. He says, it’s about Jason. That means Jason still matters to her. She says, of course (🍷). He’s Danny’s father. He’ll always be a part of her life, whether she likes it or not. Doesn’t it show him how far she’s willing go for him and DOD? She’s putting her own son’s father at risk. He says he’ll transcribe a copy for her to sign. Since she’s already made her financial contribution, they can start her initiation now.

Sonny tells Chase that they’re having a family gathering. He asks who Neil is, and Neil introduces himself, adding that he’s a psychologist. Sonny asks what brings Chase by, and he says he was looking for Kristina. Valerie got a call from her, saying she needed help. Sonny says they got things sorted out, but Chase wants to hear that from Kristina.

Carly says Josslyn will be happy to see Jax. He tells her to let Josslyn rest. Carly says she hasn’t done a lot of that lately. It’s been heart breaking for her, but she’s she’s been strong and so brave. Jax wonders where she gets it from. Carly wishes she could do more to get Josslyn through it, but Josslyn won’t let her. She had to experience all of it. Jax says she’s done more than she knows, and Carly says so has he. He made time to speak to Josslyn every night. She’s sure the time difference made it complicated. She thinks the distance made him a safe place for Josslyn to stay. She could describe Oscar to someone who wasn’t there watching him die. He says he struggled about whether he should get on a plane immediately, but she thinks it was more helpful to wait. He did the right thing, the best thing, by showing up now. Josslyn needs her dad.

Finn asks how Anna feels, and she says it’s complicated. She’s relieved that it wasn’t her who put on a wig and went to Faison. He was a monster. Now she knows she never… Finn says, it’s a huge plus. He can’t imagine how she must have felt; how freaked out and panicked she was. She says, technically, she can, but it wasn’t her; it was Alex. The irony is, Valentin suspected it. When they had that conversation. he never said if it was Alex or her. She never thought she’d be saying this, but she should have listened to him.

Willow and Michael sit outside Kelly’s. Willow says, it’s comfortable. Opening up to him about the pain of missing her son, and now it’s same way. It’s mortifying that she could ever think of being with Shiloh. Michael says he forced her to do something she’d never do on her own, and not to blame herself or think she chose it. It was completely wrong. He suggests maybe she should talk to somebody. He had a similar experience, and didn’t want talk to anyone, but it helped. She says she’ll look into it. Nina approaches their table.

Kristina tells Chase that she just needed get away for a few days. Alexis says Neil was available for some much needed counseling. Kristina says she feels better now, and Chase says there were some concerns, so he was following up. Kristina says she’s right there. She’ll call Valerie when she goes home. Chase says, sorry to bother them, but Alexis says, no apology necessary. After Chase is gone, Neil tells Alexis that her family is adept at… Alexis says, lying? He says he was looking for a more delicate word, but yes. Kristina asks if Alexis rented out her room, or put in a home gym. Alexis says Kristina knows she doesn’t work out. They hug.

Jax tells Carly, it appears congratulations are in order. She thanks him, and he asks when she’s due. She says, late September, early October. He asks if there will be the same complications as with Josslyn, but she says, not this time. She’s being monitored carefully, and she’s eating super healthy. He’d be proud. He says it explains what was going on with Josslyn. She asks what he means, and he says a few weeks ago, during the Niagara Falls incident, he sensed she wanted tell him something, but she didn’t say anything. Carly says, Josslyn has been caught up in everything Oscar. If she has an opinion, she didn’t share it. He says he can lecture her, but she says, please don’t. He’s happy for them, especially Josslyn. After the loss she’s suffered, she gets a new person to love. Carly thanks him for being so wonderful. Jason comes in, and tells Jax that Milo said he was there. He asks if it’s a bad time, but Jax says it gives him a chance to say hi, and thank him.

Shiloh tells Sam, typically, for the initiation, she’d wear a special garment, and her fellow Trust members would be there. Sam is glad it’s just the two of them, and he says he is too. He holds out the cup, saying, something to calm her nerves. She asks if she seems nervous, and he says, no. She tells him that she doesn’t need that. She wants to be fully aware of everything he has planned, and experience it all. He says there will be pain, but she thinks she can handle it. She reclines on the pillows, and he promises, the discomfort will pass, and be followed by pleasure.

Jax says it’s good to see Jason. Carly was thrilled when she found out he was alive. She says, thrilled and grateful he’s been there for her. She’s especially grateful he’s been there for Josslyn. He’s been great, giving her someone to really talk to. She melted down on him. He’s been a good friend. Jax knows what a good friend he is to have, and on behalf of their daughter, thanks him. Jason says they don’t have to thank him. Josslyn is amazing. She’s confident, determined, and one of the bravest people he knows. She’s like Carly in a bunch of ways, but he sees a lot of Jax; compassion, joy, and kindness. Carly says, excuse me? She’s joyful and kind. She’s as joyful as you can get. They just look at her, and she says, what?

Nina tells Michael that she’s sorry to hear about his cousin. Such a tragedy; he was so young. She asks how Josslyn is, and Michael says, hanging in there. It’s very difficult for her. Nina asks him to give his family her condolences. She says, on that note, Sasha is doing great. She thanks him for coming see Sasha, and Michael says he might have given her that cold. Nina is glad they’re both on the mend. Michael asks Willow if she wants coffee, and Willow says, that would be great. He goes inside, and Nina wonders if she’s misreading the situation. Willow asks what she’s talking about, and Nina says Willow knows exactly what she’s talking about.

Anna tells Finn that she can practically pinpoint the time she was taken to the cabin. After Peter was born, and the adoption was arranged in Brussels. Finn says, it makes sense. Anna says it must have been the thing resonating with Alex at the time the transfer happened. It would have been at the top of her mind, and explains why it was given to her. She has to hand it to Cabot; it really worked. Even though she knows it’s Alex and not her who gave birth to Peter, it doesn’t change any visceral feelings. She can remember the creaky stairs, the smell of the room, the midwife. She’s glad it was her sister, but it still feels like it was her. Finn says, in her heart, she still feels like Peter’s mother? and she says, yeah, she does, and she doesn’t want him to know she’s not.

Maxie tells Peter about going to dinner at an out of the way place. It only had eight tables, and the best escargot. He says escargot along with her, and tells her it’s his favorite restaurant in Paris – La Petite Cote, the little cave. Maxie can’t believe it. He asks when she was there, and she says, seven years ago for Fashion Week. He says he was there in the spring of 2012. Imagine if they’d met. Maxie wonders if they would have liked each other, and he says he probably would have asked her out. She says she probably would have said yes, and suggests they’d have gone to dinner at La Petite Cote. He says, that’s a fifth date spot. She says then they would have gone somewhere flirty and superficial. Then she would have gone back to the states, and they would probably have never seen each other again. He’s glad it didn’t work that way. He’s glad they got know each other’s hearts first. Maxie excuses herself to go to the bathroom.

Michael gets a text from Sonny – Your sister is back. Thank Willow. Outside, Nina says, Michael’s cousin just died, and Willow says, it’s awful. She tells Willow, to save this wrist on forehead for her boyfriend Chase. Willow asks if Nina is accusing her of hitting on Michael. Nina says she knows women like Willow. They play the victim, and need attention from men. She scored with Chase, and now she needs Michael to fill the bill? Willow says, that’s ridiculous, and Nina says, it’s true. As women, they know what’s going on. She needs to content herself with the one she has, and leave Michael alone.

Kristina asks Alexis if it’s cool if she comes home for a while. Alexis wants her to live there forever. Kristina is embarrassed, but Alexis tells her, don’t be. Only Shiloh should be embarrassed. Sonny says Shiloh will never be able to hurt her again, and Kristina hugs him.

Carly asks Jason if he’s heard anything about Kristina. He says he’s still waiting, and Jax asks, what’s going on? Carly says, Kristina got herself involved in a cult. It’s a long story, but Sonny and Alexis are trying to snap her out of it. They’re praying it works. Jason says if that wasn’t the case, the whole family would be there for Josslyn. Carly thanks Jax again for coming. If the family can’t be there for Josslyn, it’s probably for the best. Josslyn needs to be with a parent, not her crazy extended family. Jason gets a text – All good with Kristina. You’re clear to get Sam. Jason tells them, everything is good. He just came by to see if they needed anything. He leaves, and Jax says he’s sorry about Kristina. Carly says, it’s all right now. Jax says Sonny and Alexis are looking after their daughter. Now they need to look after theirs.

Anna tells Finn, if it was up to Robert, he’d have her tell Peter immediately. He hates Peter. He can’t forgive what Peter did, and the fact that he’s Faison’s son. It’s her biggest challenge. He’s hard headed and stubborn, and she can’t do that to him. She doesn’t want to. Finn says, then don’t. The reality is that she doesn’t know if any of this is true.

Finn asks, does she know what happened? In her heart she does, but can she show him facts? She can’t because there are none. She asks if he doesn’t believe what she’s saying. He says that’s not what he means. He lived through it with her, but there’s no medical proof that Peter was the memory transfer. And at the end of the day, that’s the story she can tell herself. There’s no proof.  She smiles, and thanks him.

Maxie tells Peter that she’s just excited to get there, and asks where they’re staying. Left Bank? Right Bank? Not that it matters. He says maybe she’s not ready for the plane trip and knowing hearts. He doesn’t want her feel like she needs to fake it or force herself to have a good time. Maybe it’s too much too soon. It’s okay. She frowns at him.

Carly says Josslyn must be catching up on weeks of sleep. Jax says she must be exhausted. Oscar’s death is going to hit her all over again. Carly says she’s probably dreaming Oscar is still alive. Jax says Josslyn was never in denial about Oscar’s prognosis. Carly says, she understood, but like with any other life altering event, you can prepare and accept it… Jax says, until it happens. Carly says Josslyn was so calm and proactive. She helped nurse Oscar through his seizures, and never lost it. I beg to differ, but I’ll let it pass. Carly says Josslyn and Oscar had a forward momentum; they had a plan. Jax says she told him about the list. Carly says, on the last day, Josslyn had a book Oscar never read, and she got to reading it to him. She had a purpose, and now she has to figure out what life looks like without Oscar, and what it means to her. Jax says, maybe she’ll do nothing at first. Carly says, or be overreactive, like her mother. Carly wants to guide her, and help her get through it. Jax says the most important thing is for them to be present. They can take their cues from Josslyn, and if she goes too far off the rails, they’ll intervene.

Chase sees Willow, and tells her that he saw Kristina. Michael comes out of Kelly’s, and says he has great news. Chase says he does too. He found Michael’s sister.

Kristina can’t believe she’s thanking Sonny for having his henchmen kidnap her and take her to a safe house until she came to her senses, but she is. Sonny says, without incriminating himself, in his business, he has the power to intervene on his family’s behalf. He’ll never regret having that power. Alexis doesn’t think they should discuss crimes. Sonny and Kristina both say, alleged crimes. Alexis tells Neil, welcome to her world, and Neil says, what a colorful world it is.

Jason peeks into the window at DOD. He tries the door, but it’s locked.

Anna tells Finn that he’s right. He says, of course (🍷). She says, pinning all this on Peter isn’t fair. She’s the only mother he knows. She thinks that she could love him like a son, and maybe if he hangs around long enough, they could have a real relationship. Finn says, maybe Peter will realize how lucky he is to have her in his life. She says she knows who she’s lucky to have. He looks around, and says, oh, him. She thanks him, and tells him that she can’t say it enough. They hold hands.

Peter says he’ll tell the pilot to turn around, and Maxie says, sit. He does, and she says, if they turn around, and he takes her to Paris next week and not today, she’ll regret it for the rest of her life. She knows she’s nervous; her rambling proves it. He says, what rambling? and she says, embarking with him on whatever this might be, means Nathan and the life they shared together is over. She’s learned nothing good happens if you stay paralyzed. You have to be willing to take a leap. She’s ready. That’s why she’s there. She knows this is right, and knows how they feel about each other. She doesn’t want the plane to turn around. He kneels in front of her, and kisses her. She thanks him for taking her to Paris, and he thanks her for taking a leap.

Willow is relieved Kristina is out of the DOD situation, and Michael says, thanks to her. Chase says he didn’t want to get Michael’s family in trouble. Shiloh is bad news, and if he got his hooks back into her, it could have ended worse; not just for her, but Willow. He wasn’t trying to be a jerk. He’s happy it worked out. Michael says they had different methods, but wanted the same thing. He’s grateful for the both of them. He leaves, and Chase says, what a day. What scared him most was that if Sonny and his family were busted for kidnapping, she would be there. He doesn’t want anything bad to happen to her. She thanks him for caring, and looking out for her, but she would gladly have taken that risk if it meant getting Kristina away from Shiloh. Chase says, it must be nice, and she says, it feels good. Like she’s finally back in charge of her own life. She’s happy she did it. He’s happier it’s behind them. She says, her too, and they kiss.

Carly says, grief is a journey. It’s like walking through the woods in the dark. You know there’s another side, but you have to go through it. Jax says Josslyn can do it, and if not, they’ll be there for her. Carly asks if he wants her to book a room at the MetroCourt, friends and family discount. He says it’s already booked, and she says, of course (🍷). She asks how long he’s staying in Port Charles, but he’s not sure. He’s working out the details. She asks if he’s staying a while, and he says, that’s the plan.

Sonny asks if they’re ready to go. Alexis says she’ll be right behind them. She thanks Neil, and says she doesn’t know what… She knows they couldn’t have gotten through it without him. He’s glad Kristina is safe, and she says that makes two of them. He tells her, this is just the beginning. The work just started. She says, whatever it takes, and he says, he has no doubt.

Shiloh says, ready? We hear the buzz of the tattoo tool. Sam smiles, and says, yeah; she’s ready. He dips another tool into the ink.

Jason kicks in the door.

Tomorrow, Carly asks if Sonny and Jax are getting along, Valerie tells Brad that DOD is bad news, Kim wants to talk to someone about her son, and Jason takes out his gun.

The Haves and The Have Nots

When we last left, my heart had been ripped from my chest as Derrick showed Hanna his lion tattoo.  The tattoo of the man who raped her. The man who is Candace’s father. She backed away, as he sobbed, reminding us all of how unfair life is.

He says he was nineteen. He didn’t even remember her. He knows that’s bad to say, but he didn’t. He was so high; he didn’t even remember. He went to jail that night for robbing a liquor store. He prayed to find the woman he did that too, but he didn’t know it was her. He asks her to please forgive him. He’s so sorry. She tells him not to come near her. He keeps asking her to forgive him, and she tells him, go – now. Benny comes in and asks, what’s going on? Hanna says, nothing, but Benny says, it doesn’t look like nothing. Hanna says Derrick was just leaving, and Benny says he’ll watch him leave.

When Derrick is gone, Benny asks, what happened? She was so happy a while ago. She tells him to drop it. They’re going to see if get a notary to come there and sign the papers in the morning. He asks what about the interest? but she says they’re not going to do that.

Justin stands in front of Jeffrey with a broken bottle to his own neck. Jeffrey tells Justin, stop it; don’t do it. Justin asks why Jeffrey is making this so hard. He gave up everything. Jeffrey says he’s sorry, but he’s not doing anything. He asks Justin to put the broken bottle down. He does, and hugs Jeffrey. He doesn’t know why no one loves him. Does Jeffrey love him? Jeffrey says he does, and Justin tells him, prove it. Stay with him tonight. Jeffery suggests starting with dinner. Justin says he can cook. Jeffrey thinks Justin should talk to someone, and wants them to go together. Justin asks, like couples therapy? Jeffrey says, kind of. He thinks Justin should go first; he’s a little obsessed. Justin says Jeffrey made him that way, and they’ll talk about it later. Jeffrey agrees.

Jeffrey picks up the broken glass. Justin goes in the kitchen, and Jeffery texts Madison the address. Justin brings out more wine. He asks who Jeffrey was texting, and Jeffrey says his dad. He didn’t want David to worry. He doesn’t know Jeffrey is there. Justin says good; David hates him. He says Jeffrey knows what David did to him. Jeffrey says he’s sorry, and Justin thanks Jeffrey for loving him.

Madison’s phone rings. It’s David. He tells David he’ll be right there, and David tells him hurry. He asks if Madison knows where Jeffrey is, but Madison says he doesn’t. Madison asks another nurse, if she had a friend in trouble, and the friend’s father could help him, would she let the father know? She asks if he’s an adult. Madison says, yeah. She says he should tell Jeffrey’s father. He asks how she knows it’s Jeffrey, and she tells him that he’s not good at this. Madison says he did it in the past, and Jeffrey got mad. She says, he’s grown. Madison can’t make him do what he doesn’t want to, and neither can his father. Madison has to go change David’s bandages. She tells him if he thinks Jeffrey is in danger, he should say something. She asks, is it life or death? He says, could be, and she says, then do something.

Jim tells Kathryn that he can’t get Veronica on the phone. They’re going to jail. Kathryn says he’s been there before, and he says she’s not taking him seriously. She says she’s taking him with a shot of vodka, and goes upstairs. His phone rings. It’s Mitch. He wonders who Mitch is, and Mitch says, Malone. He was at the house with Benny. Jim says, Mama Rose’s grandson. Mitch says he has a problem. Jim says he has a lot of problems; be more specific. Mitch says his son. His uncle knows it was him. Jim acts ignorant, and Mitch asks if he wants to play games. Wyatt did what he did to Mitch’s uncle, and they have a hit on him. Jim asks if Rose put the hit on Wyatt, and Mitch says, no; they’ve tried to keep it from her. There were a couple of guys in jail trying to hit him. His uncle wants blood, but Mitch thinks he can get him to not do anything. He needs to speak with Jim, but in the meantime, he’s to keep his son out of sight. Mitch hangs up, and Jim says, what the hell?

Hanna takes a pill, as we all would. She calls Kathryn and says she’s not good. Kathryn says Jim won’t come near her. Hanna asks if Kathryn set her up, putting her in the brownstone, and giving her a makeover? Kathryn asks what Hanna is talking about, and Hanna says, Derrick. Did she know he was in jail? Kathryn says, yes, and Hanna asks why Kathryn didn’t tell her. Kathryn says Derrick has worked for her for years, and he’s a changed man. Hanna asks if she knows what he was in for, and Kathryn says, armed robbery. Hanna asks, is that all? Kathryn is sorry she didn’t tell Hanna, but he’s a really good man. Hanna says, he raped her. Kathryn says she’s calling the police, but Hanna says, not now; years ago. Kathryn is shocked, and asks how Hanna knows. Hanna says she saw his tattoo, and he told her he did it. Kathryn says, oh my God, and Hanna replies, that’s what she said. She says, it was a long time ago. The thing is, that makes him Candace’s father. Kathryn says, this is too much. Hanna says, she was raped and got pregnant. She’ll never forget his lion tattoo. It’s all she could see. She never wants to see him again, and tells Kathryn not to send him over. Kathryn says she won’t, and asks if Candace knows. Hanna says, she knows about the rape, but doesn’t know about him. Kathryn apologizes again, and Hanna says she didn’t know. Kathryn says she’s coming over, but Hanna says, it’s over. She tells Kathryn that a notary is coming in the morning, and to tell her husband. Kathryn says she’s not telling him a damn thing. Hanna says, tell Jim so he’ll leave her son alone, and Kathryn says, okay, and tells Hanna to call if she needs anything. This is just so sad.

Kathryn calls Derrick, and leaves a message for him to call her.

At the White House, the President (whose name I still don’t know, and apparently, neither does IMDb) toasts to new blood. First Lady Margaret says she likes Candace, and Candace thanks her. Margaret asks how they met. Landon starts talking, but the President says, no spin. He wants to hear it from Canace. Candace says they met at the hotel. She was studying in the lobby while she was waiting for her room. She walked over, and said hello, not knowing he was running for President. He had his hat pulled low, and said, hi… Charles finishes, I don’t need another drink. Candace says he thought she was a waitress. Then a guy tried to hit on her, and he came to her rescue. They started talking, have been together ever since. They President says, it’s getting late. They should wrap it up. He thanks them for coming, and tells Candace that she’s lovely. On his way past Candace’s chair, he whispers that she’s a hot piece of Black ass. Candace asks if there’s a restroom, and Margaret shows her the way.

David asks why Madison is so late. Madison says he had to take a cab. He’s having car issues. David is on edge, and Madison asks if he’s in pain. David says, always, but Madison sees he’d been drinking, and can’t give him something. David asks if he knows where Jeffrey is, but he says he doesn’t. David asks Madison to call Jeffrey now. He gets voicemail, and David says call from his phone.

Justin brings the food out. Jeffrey’s phone rings, but Justin tells him not to answer. Jeffrey says he needs to make sure his dad is okay. Justin gets pushy, and asks for the phone. He grabs it, and says, look; it stopped ringing. It’s okay. Can they please have a nice dinner? He’s been through a lot, and would like it to be just them. if it’s important, he’ll call back. Justin tells Jeffrey, dig in.

Madison tells David that Jeffrey still isn’t answering. David asks if he’s with that boy, but Madison says he doesn’t know. The last time he told David what Jeffrey was up to, Jeffrey got upset. He’s not getting in the middle of this. David says, so Jeffrey is with that boy. He’s dangerous. Madison says he knows, and David asks, how? Madison says Justin destroyed his car. He threatens and manipulates Jeffrey. David asks if Jeffrey is at Justin’s apartment. Madison tells David that Jeffrey said he was going there, and texted the address. He begs David not to tell Jeffrey. David tells him hurry with the bandages.

Charles tells the President that it was a great dinner. The President looks at him weird, and he says, sir? The President says, now that everyone is gone, he has something to tell Charles. They don’t like him, or Candace. They think he’s an arrogant a-hole who won be default. Even before he won, the party was planning his demise. He tells Charles, enjoy his four years. Margaret comes back, and says Candace is a gutter trash girl – God bless America. They leave, and Charles looks stunned. Landon comes in.

Some women walk past the restroom, and one says, he’s going to screw this country up. Another says, but at least he has a hot tart to screw. After they’re gone, Candace comes out of the bathroom. Landon asks if Charles is okay. Charles says, yeah, and suggests they get the hell out. Landon says it’s his new home, but Charles says, it’s not the place. The people left a foul taste in his mouth. Candace joins them, and he says, let’s get out of here.

Veronica finds RK in her living room, and tells him to get the hell out of her house. He says, fine, and starts to leave. He says he’s almost to the door, and she tells him, get to it. He says he’s not coming back, and she says, wait. He says he knew she didn’t want him to leave. She asks if he has her jewelry. He says that’s what he wanted to talk to her about. She says, if he doesn’t, guess what’s going to happen? He’s going to jail. He says he tried to get it back; he sort of sold it. She says, that’s his ass, and he says they’re better than this. She suggests he enjoy his last few moments of freedom. He says maybe he can work it off. He knows her fantasies and what she wants. He thinks it’s a good trade. She calls him a child. She says she’s a grown-ass woman, and he’s terrible in bed. He tells her, some people need to be taught. She says she asked him one thing, to get her son’s attention, and he couldn’t do that. He says that’s not him, and she says that’s not her son either. He knows she wants him all to herself. She asks if he wants breakfast, but remembering the grits, he says, no; he’s good. She says she told him to get her jewelry, but he says, they don’t got it. Veronica makes a call, and says she’d like to report a burglary. He says he can make her feel good. She says her husband’s coming back, and RK says they can give him a show. She tells the police, never mind, and says so she wants to be taught. She laughs.

The Attorney General asks the President if the guests have left. The President gets him a drink, and he asks if the President called her a hot piece of Black ass. The President says he should have seen the look on her face. The AG says he would have paid to see it, and the President says he should have come. The AG says, no. He wants to blindside the bitch who robbed him. The President can’t believe this is it. They had a good eight years. The AG says, not all of them, and the President says, every President has his thing.  The AG asks how he thinks the new administration will do, and the President says Charles is an arrogant snot-nosed kid. The party is ready to take him down, but he’s been pretty clean up until this. The sad thing is, he thinks Charles likes her. Why the hell else would he bring a whore into the dining room? The AG says they’ve all done it, but the President says, not before taking office. The AG says he can’t overlook what she did to him. The President says she has no idea who she pissed off. The AG says, no, she doesn’t, and she’ll regret it. He’s going to devastate that bitch whore, and take down the President Elect at the same time. They drink to the hell coming Charles’s way.

In the limo, Candace’s phone rings. She tells Charles, it’s her brother; she’ll call him later. Charles asks if she’s okay, and she asks if she embarrassed him when she was at the table. She heard them talking about her. Charles tells her, before they left, the President said he can’t stand Charles, and wants him to fail. She says, they seemed nice, but he says, they’re playing a game. Don’t fall into it. Rise above it. She says, when they go low, she goes lower, and they laugh. He says he needs her to keep him sane. She says she’ll keep him sane, all right, and he bets she will. She says she couldn’t leave him with those fools. He says she makes him so happy, and she tells him that he’d better remember that when she has to choke one of those ho’s. They kiss, and she asks if he’s done it in a Presidential motorcade. She doesn’t think he would, but he says there’s a lot she needs to learn about him. He tells the driver, the hotel.

Jeffrey tells Justin, the alfredo sauce is good. There’s an insistent knock at the door, and David tells Jeffrey to open it. Justin asks how he knew, but Jeffrey doesn’t know. Justin tells him, hide in the bathroom. To my surprise, he does. David continues banging, and I’m thinking, unless Justin clears the dishes, David will know someone is there. Justin opens the door, and David asks where his son is. Justin says, he’s not there, and David pushes past him. Justin says, coming in? and David says, damn right.

Justin says he’s been waiting for this moment, and puts a gun to David’s head. David asks what the hell he’s doing, and Justin says, breaking and entering. He’s got David now.

Next time, Wyatt hunts his family with a rifle, and Mitch tells Benny that his uncle will break Benny’s legs, and still want the money.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

I heard LVP isn’t even in this episode. Why bother? Oh wait, I can make fun of Teddi. And Dorit. And…

Teddi tells Kyle, no glam squad. Kyle says, if a bear sees you, you have to be cute.

Harry wonders why LisaR is bringing ten pairs of shoes for one night. She says she needs a hair dryer, and he asks if there’s going to be electricity on the trail. She says the most important thing, and adds a bottle of wine. He tells her that she has a bag for three weeks. She says she’s totally prepared, just in case.

Teddi says being outdoors in LA means wearing full-face makeup and not being outdoorsy at all. LisaR says she’s nervous, but it’s good. In her interview, Kyle says she likes to be prepared. She has a machete, tick spray, and an epi-pen.

The women meet at Teddi’s. Erika is the first to arrive, followed by Kyle, who tells them that she got a text from PK. He said he was just joking around. She wishes Dorit had handled it better, instead of making excuses. She told him that she lets go of things easily, it’s done, and thanked him for the text. She doesn’t know if there will be residual feelings from Dorit.

In her interview, Erika says she’s been camping her whole life; she’s a tomboy. In Dorit’s interview, she’s hoping to enjoy the great outdoors, and not have any tension with Kyle on the trip. They get into the RV where there’s a spread waiting. Camille is the last to get there. In her interview, Denise says she’s heard Camille talk about the other women, and doesn’t think she’ll shut up during the trip. She wonders if it’s gong to be another trip where everything goes sideways, or will they have a good time?

Erika says she wanted to be a truckdriver or a Playboy bunny when she was young. The women are already freaking out about various aspects of being outside, and in her interview, Erika says, these chicks are having a meltdown, and they haven’t even left LA. They discuss sleeping arrangements, and stop at a grocery store for dinner and tomorrow’s breakfast. Teddi says all they need are hot dogs, hamburgers, and alcohol. LisaR suggests donuts, and Dorit says everyone is grabbing things like it’s Armageddon. In LisaR’s interview, she says they need the whole camping experience of food. She puts Cheetos in the cart. Denise asks if they think they’re good for one night, and the tab comes to over $600. In Teddi’s interview, she doesn’t understand, since they won’t even use half of it.

Ventura ranch KOA. Deer! Peacocks! LisaR says it’s way better than she expected. It’s like glamping. No kidding. Those tents are more like hotel rooms. I’m not sure why they even brought an RV. In her interview, Erika wonders if there’s a dead body in LisaR’s bag. Vanderpump? Edwin’s assistant Michelle has come along, although no one explains why. LisaR unpacks. She’s going to change since she has so many choices.

Beer Pong is set up. Erika feels a little old to be playing that, and goes for a massage. Yeah, real camping. No one seems to know how to play Beer Pong, even a little bit, although Dorit scores some points. In her interview Teddi says, for a woman who has a lot of opinions on stemware, Dorit knows her way around a Solo cup.

Teddi asks if Kyle regrets going to see LVP. Dorit doesn’t know why LVP is angry with her. Teddi says Dorit was the one LVP was originally angry at. It was her punishment. Erika comes back in a golf cart, saying she really needed that. Denise asks how her face looks so good. LisaR says she can’t afford to squish her face, even for a massage. Don’t they have an opening for your face in the table? Dorit says as far as LVP goes, LVP drew a line in the sand. She couldn’t have made it clearer. Erika says, if you want to be an a-hole be an a-hole. She cares about the women who showed up. She never bought it, and never will. That’s how she feels. IN her interview, she says it’s like the queen who shows you the apple. Want some? Kyle misses her, but Teddi says it was her choice. Dorit says she gave them a fait accompli. She made it clear. Erika says her life will be fine without that bitch. Sorry, but not really.

They go hiking, and Kyle says she has a phobia about ticks. In Kyle’s interview, she says she likes being in the outdoors, but her husband always tries scaring her, saying there will be bugs. She just doesn’t like spiders, snakes, or any kind of bug. She clicks some sticks together, saying it calls the deer, which is news to me. Climbing instructor Forrest meets them. They harness up and climb a fake wall in the middle of a park that probably has real walls to climb. Teddi, Dorit, and Erika go first. In Erika’s interview, she says Dorit looks like Spiderman, and she’s impressed. In Teddi’s interview, she says Dorit kicked her butt rock climbing. Camille tells them the harness is like a strap-on. In her interview, she tells us that she and her ex did kinky sexy play. It’s what we do for the people we love. I don’t. Kyle, Camille, and LisaR go next. Kyle doesn’t like heights, and wonders why she’s climbing a fake rock. Peer pressure is ridiculous. When she thinks how high up she is, she gets scared. In her interview, she says her entire body goes numb. We flash back to her hanging back from looking at a view from a tower and being in a sky car. Kyle has enough, and goes back down.

Dinner is prepared. LisaR gets a massage. Denise says she used to be a vegetarian up until a few months ago. In her interview, she says up until she met Aaron, she was a vegetarian. Lola was devested when she found out Denise ate meat, like she’d been doing drugs. Dorit tells them, plastic on the grill isn’t a good idea. Wow. Even I know that. In Dorit’s interview, she says, these girls don’t belong anywhere near a fire. They’re going to kill somebody, if not themselves. They make a mess of a hamburger that totally falls apart. Teddi comes back, tells them they’re fired, and finishes the grilling. LisaR returns, and can’t believe they’re already eating.

Kyle asks Camille how she’s feeling about the wedding, and she says she can’t wait. Denise and Erika can’t go, and she says LVP didn’t come to her bridal shower, so she doubts LVP is coming to the wedding. Teddi says she’s reached out and done what she can. If she really cares, don’t text. Call if she really wants LVP there. In Camille’s interview, she says Teddi is inserting herself into a conversation where she shouldn’t necessarily be involved. Teddi says, it’s Camille’s big day. and the people there should be there for her. In her interview, Camille finds Teddi being a know-it-all irritating. I think Teddi’s problem might be that she thinks she’s still at work when she’s with her friends. I find her irritating too, and if she tried to accountability coach me when I didn’t ask for advice, I’d be tempted to smack her.

Teddi builds a fire (sounds like a children’s book). Kyle calls her Grizzly Adams. Denise comes back from her massage, and they talk about happy endings. Denise says Aaron never had one, so they went on a hunt. Everyone is shocked, and Teddi says Denise has a fetish. What? I guess she even knows it all about things she doesn’t know. Denise says she doesn’t. Aaron was the only dude she knew who never had one. He was mortified. In Kyle’s interview, she says if anyone went near her husband like that, they’d lose an arm, and he’d lose an important appendage. In Dorit’s interview, she says, it will never happen, PK. In Teddi’s interview, she says, her husband’s happy ending would have a happy removal shortly afterward. Erika says she never heard Tom say he had one, but she knows he was a young man once. Because she’s an unfiltered moron, LisaR asks if Denise watched, and Denise says, no! nearly spitting out her drink. Kyle asks if Denise has had one. Denise says she has, but didn’t plan for it. It just happened. She says she’s feeling judged. In her interview, LisaR says, if that’s what your freak flag wants to do, fly it. Just don’t get arrested. Erika asks why everyone is acting like nuns. In Denise’s interview, she says Aaron might be upset that she revealed this information. LisaR asks, who else has secrets? Because this is just the venue you’d want to reveal them in. Camille says she was in a relationship for three years in NYC, and they had incredible sexual encounters. She then explains how to massage a prostate, and we’ll leave it at that. Dorit asks who wants a drink. At this point, me.

Camille says it seems better with Kyle and Dorit. Dorit says PK sent her a text, and she doesn’t think what he said was malicious. Once again inserting herself, Teddi says, not malicious, but deliberate. Dorit comes back with drinks, and Kyle says they were talking about PK and the other night. He sent her a text. Dorit says, in the beginning she said she appreciated how Kyle felt. She thought they were good. Kyle tells her, men say stupid sh*t sometimes. Well, that about sums it up. Is it time to go home? Teddi says, even if it’s not malicious, he’s covering his own ass. The backtracking didn’t go well. In her interview, Camille says, Teddi has an answer for everything. That’s what I mean. I’m not defending her at all – she’s annoying as hell – but it’s what she does for a living and can’t turn it off. Teddi thinks he was acting out because of how he felt about the whole situation. Dorit doesn’t think it helps to be unfair afterward. Teddi says it wasn’t about Kyle, but Dorit doesn’t think so. Camille agrees. She says Teddi is knowledgeable for her age, but inserts herself where she doesn’t belong. Teddi hates people who talk down to her. Camille says sometimes she inserts herself in conversations that have nothing to do with her. Like after PK made the remark to Kyle. We flash back to her doing that. Camille says, it upset Dorit. Teddi tells her, stick to the storyline. Does she mean stay in her lane? Stay on topic? What? It sounds like it doesn’t apply. Teddi says she doesn’t like to be talked down to. The way she says Teddi is young, is passive/aggressive. Camille tells Teddi that she said Teddi pushed herself into a conversation between two of them. She sat there with LisaR, acting like she knew everything. Camille thought it was inappropriate, and she’s a bit of a know-it-all. Teddi says she noticed Camille likes to talk out of the side of her mouth, but backs down when she’s face to face. I dunno. I think Camille thinks out loud while she’s making up her mind. Teddi says she just expressed an opinion. Camille says Teddi thought there was a conspiracy going on. We flash back to Teddi thinking practically the entire season was manufactured by LVP. In Camille’s interview, she says, if you know that much, you don’t have to tell everyone how much you know. Wow. She’s right. LisaR says, this was all created by someone else, and Camille says, it’s like a toxic wave. Kyle can’t lie about what happened, but she still cares about LVP. She chose not to be there. Dorit says she had a friend who said there’s no friendship, and doesn’t love her. We flash back to how things ended with LVP. Then she had Kyle saying she had never heard LVP talk about Dorit. Kyle says she didn’t mean it that way. Denise thinks they should go onward and upward. Teddi says she’s not even drunk, and Erika says she’s drunk for her age. Ha-ha! Okay, that was funny. LisaR says, the sad part is, she’s the oldest in the group right now.

It’s morning, and Teddi goes for a run. Kyle says she’s a nut. LisaR says she had a dream that Kyle got Portia a squirrel. We see clips of Kyle planting fake spiders in the other so-called tents, and slipping a stuffed rat into LisaR’s tent. In her interview, Kyle says she never went to summer camp. Camille joins them, and it’s dead silent while they drink coffee. In Teddi’s interview, she says she’s not going down that rabbit hole. Erika puts whipped cream on a pumpkin pie, and forks the pie, not bothering to slice it. In her interview, she says, it’s the breakfast of champions. She ruins this by then eating Cheez-Wiz on crackers. Blech. It’s time to go, and I honestly don’t get it all this for one night. Seriously.

Back on the road, Kyle says she wants to do research on happy ending places. Erika says they’re all invited to her show on Sunday. She knows Camille is getting married, and Denise is filming, but the rest of them can bring their husbands if they want.

In her interview, Kyle thinks it helps relationships to get to a deeper place when they go on trips. Laughing, arguing, sharing things in a different place. You’re not getting that at a cocktail party. The women talk about social media, and Kyle says Instagram has changed since the Kardashians. And the ideal body type is unreal. LisaR says, it’s not an easy time to grow up. When they were growing up, they had a mirror to deal with. Now, there’s social media pressure to be perfect. In LisaR’s interview, she says her girls had a rough time. More than anything, she’s tried to teach them how to love themselves, no matter how they look. Kyle wonders if there’s more pressure in LA and Hollywood, but the others don’t know if that’s true anymore. Erika says she looks at herself like art. A project where she creates what she wants.

They sing Kumbaya, and Denise laughs.

Next time, LVP gets her new kitchen, Camille asks LVP to come to her wedding, and a disaster happens at Erika’s show.

🐲 In Case You Live Under a Rock…

Or just got online for the first time in your life today.

On Game of Thrones, Tormund informed Jon that only a madman or a king rides a dragon. The Hound said Sansa had changed, and also said, I told you so, but with more words. Gendry asked Arya to marry him and be the Lady of wherever he’s from, but she said she was never a lady and never would be. He didn’t give her the option of being a dude, so…  Jaime and Brienne had sex. I guess we can all die happy now. Dany was worried about having everything taken from her. She told Jon to never tell another soul who he really is. Even though he didn’t give a flying, she said it would take on a life of its own, no matter how many times he bent the knee. She told him the truth would destroy them, and even though she’d never begged for anything, she was begging for this. Since they had her help in the dead battle, Dany wanted Winterfell to reciprocate by going against Cersei. Bron proposed a plan to Tyrion and Jon, Sam and Jon promised they were BFFs for life, and everyone set sail for King’s Landing. Missandei and Grey Worm held hands on the boat. When Tyrion told him eight people knew about Jon’s lineage, Varys said it wasn’t a secret anymore, but an affirmation. No surprise, Cersei was a step ahead, and (sounds like) Urine Greyjoy was waiting with his own boats. I’ve about had it with CGI dragon abuse though, since we lost Dracarys. Needless to say, Dany was both pissed and vindictive, and Missandei was also lost in the battle. Cersei said their message was well received, and the head Sparrow, or whatever he is, said the people were glad for her protection. Cersei told the Greyjoy dude, well done, and talked about the child they were having. Cersei wasn’t worried about Dany coming for her, and was holding Missandei prisoner. This highly pissed off Grey Worm, who’d probably grieved for her already. Varys advised Dany against revenge. He begged her not to destroy the city she came to save, and become what she’s struggled to defeat. She said her destiny was to save the world from tyrants, and she’d do it if she had to kill a million innocent people first. Okay, she didn’t say that exactly, but that was the gist. Fight for peace. Varys asked Tyrion who would make the best ruler, and Tyrion said Jon didn’t want it. Varys asked how he knew it wasn’t someone who didn’t want it, and said Jon has what it takes. Tyrion believed his queen would make the right choice. Tyrion said most people claimed they didn’t care who sat on the throne, but Varys said if the wrong person did, it could cost those people their lives. He was loyal to the people, as I’d always thought. He said, each of them had a choice to make, and prayed they chose wisely. Brienne said Jaime was better than his sister. He’s a good man, but he couldn’t save her. He said he pushed a kid out a window and strangled his cousin with his bare hands. He wasn’t exactly a good guy. He went off to help Cersei, negating his pending good guy status, but I’m wondering if he might not sabotage her instead. Hey, I can dream. When Dany went to Kings Landing, I fully expected them to toss Missandei’s head out the door or throw her from a tower, but old guy Queen’s Hand came out to meet Tyrion. It kind of reminded me of the negotiations on Million Dollar Listing. Tyrion was like, work with me, help me here, and old guy was like, I’m just representing. Tyron was like, forget this, and went past him to his superior. He said he knew she didn’t care about her people, and they hate her, so what’s the difference? She always loved her children though, more than anything. Her reign was over, but that didn’t mean her baby had to die. I said to myself, you know she’s never giving in, and she confirmed that by saying now was the time for Missandei’s last words. Missandei looked at Grey Worm, and Cersei, who can’t do her own dirty work, had the Mountain chop Missandel’s head off, blending my predictions as her body fell from the rampart. This pissed Dany off even more, but she didn’t put a curse on Cersei in Dothraki as we all would have. She just stomped away. Then The Omen singers sang over the end credits.

🏆 And the Award For Snarkiest Recap Goes To…

I love them.

https://betches.com/game-of-thrones-recap-youre-a-virgin-who-cant-drive/

❓ I Have Some Answers…

In discussing why this season of GoT might suck, two reasons given were, Jon got rid of Ghost and Jaime left Brienne for Cercei. One, maybe Jon thought Ghost would be safer staying behind and we’ve already lost enough animals, plus a giant, and two, how do we know? We know what Jaime said, but how do we know?

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/entertainment/a27371693/game-of-thrones-season-8-sucks/

☕ The Infamous Coffee Cup…

Uh-oh. Someone is in trouble. Probably the stage manager.

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/entertainment/a27371261/game-of-thrones-starbucks-cup/

https://nypost.com/2019/05/06/games-of-thrones-accidentally-leaves-coffee-cup-in-episode/

Nope. It’s Sansa who’s in trouble.

https://nypost.com/2019/05/06/game-of-thrones-fans-say-sansa-stark-to-blame-for-coffee-cup-goof/

The final word.

https://nypost.com/2019/05/07/the-infamous-game-of-thrones-coffee-cup-wasnt-from-starbucks/

The best quote.

The latte that appeared in the episode was a mistake, a spokesperson for the cable network said in a statement. Daenerys had ordered an herbal tea.

💃 My Feeling Upon Finishing This…

That was a lot of TV.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

April 30, 2019 – Lulu Films Ryan’s Obsession, Dorit Won’t Budge, Ben Trashes Randal’s Place & Long Winding Week

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

General Hospital

Sorry, missed the first minute or two.

Stella finds Jordan unconscious. She asks if Jordan can hear her, but there’s no response.

Elizabeth tells Finn that she hasn’t heard from Hayden in quite a while. Why? Finn says there’s something he wants to tell her. The last number he has for her is disconnected. Stella calls for help, and Finn and Elizabeth run to her. Finn takes a look at Jordan, and asks for a gurney. He asks Jordan if she can open her eyes.

Curtis says, so Timmy doesn’t remember the name of the woman who hired him? Timmy says, offered to hire him. They didn’t exchange names. She was hanging out by the docks, and he found her there. Curtis says, it’s a small town. He was under the impression that everyone knew each other. Timmy says she was obviously not from around there. Curtis shows him the money.

Ava answers her phone, and says she can’t hear them. Who is this? Mac takes the phone, and asks who it is. He says, okay. No problem. He tells Ava it was a wrong number. It sounded like the woman was near a shipyard, which was probably why Ava couldn’t hear her. He thinks he scared her.

Doc tells Ava, it’s all right, but she says, a wrong number to a blocked line after the video was posted? She doesn’t think it’s a coincidence. Doc says, Occam’s Razor. In the absence of other evidence, the simplest explanation is the most likely.

Shiloh shows Sam his office, and says, nothing of interest. She asks why it’s locked. Isn’t DOD’s main tenet transparency? The full truth, no matter what the cost? He tells her office contains DOD’s chronicles, and it would be inappropriate to share them with her. She understands, and asks if the Trust members are allowed in. He says Trust members are afforded special privileges, and tells her that she needs to temper her inquisitive nature with patience. She says it means so much that she’s worth consideration. She wants to prove herself to him any way she can.

Valerie makes a call, and tells someone she’s getting creepy calls from a blocked number. She thinks her ex might be stalking her. She says, it’s not an official police request. She wants to keep it on the DL, but thinks they should be able to trace the call. She thanks them.

Alexis asks how long before she’s arrested for conspiracy and kidnapping? Sonny says he’s not the one who left his phone so Kristina could get it. Alexis says, sorry. She’s not experienced in kidnapping. Neil says Kristina wasn’t on long enough to tell Valerie where she was. Alexis asks what she said, but Neil says it’s privileged information. She asks if he doesn’t think the lines are blurred at this point. It would help to know what she communicated. Neil says they need strategy for their next session, but Alexis isn’t sure there will be one. Now that Valerie knows what’s going on, she thinks their time is about to be up.

Franco tells Drew it’s no secret the Quartermaine’s hate him, but he wanted to pay his respects to Oscar. Realizing his wording isn’t the best, he fumbles around, then says he’s the worst at this. Drew says he’s doing great, and tells him to go back inside. He says everyone in there hates him. He thought he’d just drop this off, and run away. He gives Drew a wrapped canvas, and Drew asks if he can open it now. Franco says he can hang it in Oscar’s room while he’s staying there. Drew unwraps a painting of a sunset with a tree in the foreground. He asks if Franco painted it. Franco says it’s kind of a departure. He had some paintings in the basement that Oscar and Cameron saw, and Oscar really liked that one, so he wanted him to have it. Drew thanks him, but Franco says, it’s just a gesture. He wishes could do something that counted. He’s sorry. Drew is too.

Curtis tells Timmy that he can have all of it if he tells Curtis what he needs to know. Was the woman American? Timmy says it didn’t sound like an American accent. He noticed a bumper sticker on her cat that said, North Madison High School, Class of ’94. It’s a few towns over, and this isn’t a destination for them, unless there’s something they have that the people can’t get there.

In a hospital bed, Jordan opens her eyes. Stella tells her, relax, and Jordan asks, what happened? Elizabeth says she collapsed, and Stella found her. Stella says she picked a fine place to faint. Finn comes in, and Stella and Jordan thank him. He’s glad she’s awake. He’s going to be the consulting doctor on her case now. Stella says he’s an infectious disease specialist, and he says her body is reacting to an infection in the remaining kidney. She asks what the course of treatment is. He says she’s allergic to penicillin, so they’ll try a different antibiotic, and see if it’s affective. Stella asks what happens if it’s not.

Sam says Shiloh told her that she might be ready for the next level, and he’d contact her. Shiloh asks if she’s being impatient. She says, maybe, but she wants him to know she’s willing and ready. Mark asks if he’s interrupting, and Shiloh says, no. Mark says he got distracted talking to other members, and asks Sam if they’re still on. He tells Shiloh that Sam offered to go to lunch with him, and help him choose courses. Shiloh tells them to go. He’ll talk to Sam later.

Neil tells Alexis and Sonny that he wants to talk about how they’re going to approach Kristina. The technique is called motivational interviewing. They can’t criticize DOD or the members. Kristina is too wrapped up in it, and if they criticize the group, they criticize her. The goal is to get her to realize for herself that DOD can’t meet her needs. Sonny says the sooner they clear Kristina’s head, the better. There’s a knock at the door, and Alexis answers.  It’s Valerie and Chase. Valerie asks if they can come in.

Alexis ask to what she owes this unexpected pleasure. Neil hustles into another room. Valerie tells Alexis they want to talk to her, and Alexis asks if it’s official business. Do they have a warrant? Chase says there’s no need for one; they just have a few questions. Alexis says she’s in the middle of something, but lets them in. Valerie says she didn’t expect to see Sonny, and he says, likewise. Alexis says they were just going over some legal business. Chase asks if Diane is indisposed, and Sonny says he has different lawyers for different business. And I say, man, for this being unofficial, they sure are nosy. Valerie says Alexis claimed Kristina was out of town visiting a friend, and clearing her head, but she got a call from Kristina from an unknown number. She had the call traced, and the phone is registered to Alexis.

Finn says, most patients respond well to antibiotics, but Jordan says, most patents have another kidney to fall back on. Finn suggests they not get ahead of themselves. Stella tells Jordan that she’ll give her some privacy to get settled. Jordan says, give it to her straight. If can’t beat the infection, what does it mean? Elizabeth gives her something to make her more comfortable. Jordan says, hopefully, the antibiotics will clear up the infection overnight, and no one will need to worry. If that happens, she’ll be an anomaly, since it usually takes at least a week. Curtis calls, but she doesn’t answer.

Timmy says Curtis promised him a hundred dollars, but Curtis says he asked for the name, not a high school in another town. He calls Jordan and leaves a message that he’s got a new lead. It might keep him out of town a while. He’d rather be with her, but hopes it leads to Ryan. I thought the high school was actually a pretty good lead.

Jordan tells Elizabeth, she might not want to be there, but she’s reasonably comfortable. Elizabeth says she couldn’t help notice that Jordan ignored the call from Curtis. Won’t he want to know what’s going on with her? Jordan says Stella probably already told him, but Elizabeth thinks he’d want to hear it from her. It’s our instinct to help the people we love, and the people we love are in the best position to help us.

Curtis starts searching online for the high school. Jordan calls, and he says he turned up something. He asks if it’s okay if he sticks around and follows up. She thinks he should get back, and he asks if everything is okay. She wishes she could say yes, but she has to tell him something.

At the MetroCourt, Lulu says Ryan’s memorial is getting a lot of views. Doc says, if Ryan is one of them, he believes they think he’s dead, and will come out of hiding. Felicia says, then he’ll do something rash, and make a mistake. Mac says, don’t count on the timeframe. He’ll need recovery time. Felicia says, don’t count on Ryan recovering. When he sees Ava is with someone else, he’ll come running. Lulu says they have to reinforce the idea Ava and Doc have bonded. Ava says, let’s do it, and Lulu takes her to where there’s better lighting. Felica tells Doc that Ava’s not the only one with a target on their back. What he’s doing is really brave. She hopes he’ll be ready for when Ryan returns.

Lulu asks if Ava is ready, and starts to film. She says this is part one of her exclusive interview with Ava Jerome, the object of serial killer Ryan Chamberlain’s obsession. She thanks Ava, and asks what she can tell the viewers about her relationship with Ryan.

Franco says he thinks he’s done there, doing the thing he does best, making everything worse, but Drew asks Franco to stay a while, and keep him company. He doesn’t need one more person who wants to put a positive spin on things. He might snap on them. His son is dying; there’s no positive there. He just found out he had a son, a piece of his past he can’t remember. The worst part is his son has worse, losing every inch of his future.

Valerie asks Alexis if she has any idea how Kristina was calling from her phone. Alexis goes into her purse, and says she knew it. She has Kristina’s phone. Valerie says, she had it without knowing? and Alexis says, it happens a lot. They have the same phone, model, and case. Chase says she didn’t notice? Sonny says Alexis avoids her cell phone. She forgets it or doesn’t charge it. It’s hella frustrating, and if you text her, you’re not getting one back. Valerie suggests Alexis activate the tracking on her phone, but Alexis says she already knows where Kristina is. Is she under investigation? Chase says, not at all. They just wanted to verify her whereabouts. Sonny says they know where she’s at. Alexis says they’re respecting Kristina’s privacy, so unless there’s a compelling reason, they’re not disclosing it. Valerie says they’ll be in touch, and they leave. Alexis asks Sonny what the odd are that they bought any of that. Sonny says, not a chance. Alexis is going to be under surveillance, and can’t go to the session tomorrow.

Lulu says, it’s tough to understand. Ava’s feelings for Ryan were genuine? Ava says, yes. He was there for her when she needed him. He picked her up when she fell off course. She had no idea Ryan was behind what happened to her daughter. She came to rely on him completely. The irony of all of this is, she thought it was Doc who she’d developed a deep powerful connection to. Doc, who accepted her as she as. He saw the good in her. Now she knows it was Ryan imitating his brother. That’s how she came to fall in love with him. She fell in love with a man pretending to be his brother. The real Ryan murdered her daughter. We see someone watching the interview. Lulu says, it must be hard to live with. Ava says, if there’s any silver lining, she’s not alone. There is someone Ryan hurt almost as much; his brother. His brother is remarkable. Now that she’s getting to know the actual Doc, not an impersonation, he’s a remarkable man, and an invaluable source of support. Lulu thanks her.

Mac says, Felicia has a point. If it works, Ryan is coming after Doc. Is he ready? Doc says he has to be. He wants to do whatever he can to capture his brother. Felicia says she wishes… never mind. Doc finishes, turned him in? So does he. He looks at his justifications and excuses, and can’t believe his arrogance and how foolish he was. Three people died because of him. His greatest loss was just as devastating other loss just as devastating. People lost their faith, trust, and belief in him as a friend. Mac says he can’t help anyone by being a martyr himself. Luring Ryan out is one thing, but being a target is something else. Doc says if it helps capture his brother, he’ll do it; no hesitation.

Lulu says, that concludes part one in the series, The Object of Obsession: Surviving the Monster I loved. Ava downs her drink.

Franco tells Drew not to let anyone tell him how to process grief; it’s different for everyone. He grieves every day, but doesn’t talk about it. What’s the point? He has to go through it. Go through the motions, and stay present for the people he loves and who say they care about him. He misses Kiki – until he paints. He’s waiting for the time when he sees everything Kiki accomplished and gave of herself. Someday, Kiki’s life will no longer be overwhelmed by her death. It will happen. It’s hard, but he does it because it’s what she would want. It’s slow going. Drew says, yeah. Franco says he’s making the worst of everything today, but Drew appreciates it, and says he’s been a lot of help. Franco says he’d like to be a help to Drew. He doesn’t always have to talk so much. Drew laughs, and Franco says they might not be blood, but they’re still brothers. He’ll always be there for Drew. Drew says he’s grateful.

Alexis tells Sonny, it’s not an official investigation, but Sonny says they suspect something is up. She’s in their sights, and can’t go to the safe house. Neil says he can’t stress how important is for them both to be there, especially her. She has the most contentious relationship with Kristina. It’s a critical time. Sonny says they’ll be trailing her with the phone, and they can’t risk it. He has experience distancing himself from cops. Alexis says, it’s not a bragging point. Milo calls, and Sonny has to go. Alexis asks what about Kristina’s therapy, and Sonny says they’ll discuss other options. He leaves, and Neil asks Alexis says, it could mean anything. He could put her in the trunk of a car to take her to the safe house, or take them all to a private island. Neil says, that would be a disaster. She says, the whole thing is. She asks which one of them is right? and Neil says, unfortunately, both of them.

Mark – who I didn’t realize is Milo, since he hasn’t been on the show since the earth cooled – says he’s sorry he pulled Sam away, but he had to make sure Shiloh didn’t catch her. Sam is glad he texted her when he did. She got distracted by something she found. She should have stayed on point. He asks what she found, and she says a picture of her and Shiloh that she didn’t know he was taking. Nothing damaging, but it reminded her that she can’t trust a word he says. Even if he believes she’s all in about joining the Trust, she needs to watch her back.

Shiloh goes into his office, and opens a file drawer.

Doc asks how it went, and Lulu thinks it was convincing. If he’s out there, they got his attention. Ava wishes everyone would stop saying if he’s out there. He’s out there. Now, the public needs to think she and Doc have actually fallen for each other.

In the fastest trip back from Canada ever, Curtis goes to Jordan’s bedside. Stella is so glad he’s back, and he says Jordan was just about fill him in on what happened. Stella says she found Jordan on the hospital floor, and called for help. Finn walks in, and she says he can hear the rest from the expert. Finn says, first, they have to see how Jordan responds to the antibiotics. If she doesn’t, given the condition of her remaining kidney, she’ll need a transplant as soon as possible.

Franco finds Elizabeth at the reception desk. She asks where he disappeared to. He tells her that Cameron told him about Oscar liking one of his paintings, and he dropped it off at the Quartermaines. Elizabeth says that was generous, but he says it was just a gesture. He talked, and Drew listened, but he wishes he could help. Elizabeth thinks he just did. They hug.

Drew looks at the painting.

Valerie and Chase go to the MetroCourt for lunch. Valerie is surprised Chase wanted to eat there. He thinks they should eat some good food while they can, and drink some triple espressos. They’re going on a stakeout to keep an eye on Alexis. Maybe it will lead them to Kristina.

Alexis looks out the window. Neil says she has an elaborate tea collection, and she says she can never have enough calming tea. She doesn’t see anyone outside. Not that she would have. Neil says they have to try a different approach. They can’t risk leading the police to Kristina, and they’ll be monitoring Alexis; watching her every move. Alexis said they’ll be watching her car, but that doesn’t mean they’ll be following her.

Milo tells Sonny that he tried to keep Shiloh talking, but he got brushed off. Sam says, thank God that Milo texted her when he did, but It wasn’t a total waste. She knows where Shiloh keeps his secrets. Shiloh told her members of the Trust have more privileges. That means she’ll have to become a member, but she’ll do whatever it takes.

Shiloh looks at the picture of him and blindfolded Sam. He says he knows all of her secrets, and can’t wait to see what she reveals,

Tomorrow, Ned asks what someone is doing there, Drew says maybe Oscar isn’t fighting a losing battle, and Oscar tells Josslyn that he feels better.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Erika and LisaR drive to Erika’s friend’s studio, Merge. In her interview, LisaR says she loves their relationship. They built it over time; it didn’t just happen. There’s a survivor and hustler in Erika that she relates to, and she gets a kick out of Erika. She tells Erika about the TV show she did called Merge. In Erika’s interview, she says LisaR is fearless, and admits her faults. That’s a real friend. Not someone who will never admit they do anything wrong.

At the studio they get on the rowing machine. The instructor says LisaR’s ass is weak. In her interview, she brags about an exercise video she made ten years ago, and we see a clip. It’s not super professional. So what have you done lately? Cardigans? They do an exercise that actually looks harmful for the lower back.

LVP and Ken look at marble for the kitchen. It’s like a lumber yard, except there are huge marble slabs all around. Giggy! Puffy! In LVP’s interview, she says they’re in the middle of a kitchen remodel, and it’s getting expensive. She has to keep a lid on the budget or she’ll be in trouble. She says she’s going to choose the one Puffy lifts his leg on. Sure enough, Puffy pees, but she says that one isn’t quite right. She tells Ken that PK called her. We see a clip of them on the phone, saying they miss each other. PK tells her to have her people talk to his people. LVP says she is her people. She says it’s hard having a conversation about something you both disagree on. It just goes around and around. In her interview, she says she hasn’t seen Dorit since the wedding, and they all think LVP gave the story to Radar Online. If Dorit is going to call her a liar, there is no friendship.

Dorit needs a Beverly Beach office, and has designer Mat whip something up for her. She says she can’t operate out of her house anymore. She’s ready for the next level. Growing the business has been like having another child, and she loves that the kids can play together. It’s bigger and more gorgeous than most people’s apartments. PK arrives, and Mat is off to his next design emergency. PK tells Dorit that they’re having lunch with LVP. Dorit says she never thought something would happen and the friendship would be dissipated. In her interview, Dorit says they have a history. We see clips from the past, including LVP defending Dorit at a reunion. The loving part of her wants to make things right, but she’s not doing it at the expense of her integrity. PK says Ken wants to put things back together. Dorit tells him that his throwaway comment to Kyle was a tad insensitive. He says he’s happy to apologize, but he’s not discussing it for weeks on end. And they will.

In the car, Kyle tells Teddi that Sophia is coming home for weekend. She asks if Teddi has talked to anyone, and Teddi asks if Dorit reached out. Kyle asks if she’s wrong, and we flash back Teddi saying anyone who knows Kyle, knows she would be hurt, referring to PK’s remark. Kyle says it cost her friendship with LVP. He implied she did something wrong, when she spoke up and told the truth. He should be thankful. She says she’ll survive. They park the car, and walk around Lake Hollywood. Deer! Kyle says this is what she loves about living in LA. Like you can’t see wild animals anywhere else. Teddi says she loves doing things she wouldn’t normally, like the RV trip. She doesn’t know how far they’ll get. it’s the size of a tour bus. Kyle jokingly asks, how many bedrooms? In her interview, Teddi says she loves camping. It’s living the simple life, even if it’s only 24-hours. Kyle says they’re the only ones who think it will be fun. In Teddi’s interview, she says she’s trying again to take them out of their comfort zones, and see if they can relax together. The worst case, one of them doesn’t make it home. She and Kyle take a selfie with the Hollywood sign in the background.

Denise meets Camille for lunch. Camille tells her that it’s been a hectic time; raising teenagers, and blending a family. Denise asks if she feels differently about getting married now. Camille says it was David’s idea to have a big wedding. She wanted something small, but she’s glad she agreed. In her interview, Denise says she and Camille met when Camille was married to Kelsey, and they’ve compared notes on public divorces. They’re definitely survivors. Denise asks how the concert was, and if she needs a drink to hear about it. Camille says she might, so Denise orders a martini. Camille says the concert was great, but afterwards, PK said something to Kyle backstage about how she can’t keep a best friend. Dorit tried to explain later, but Teddi jumped in. She feels like Teddi is a bit of a know-it-all. In her interview, Camille says, Teddi needs to take a seat. Her youth is getting the best of her, and she sounds like an entitled millennial. She tells Denise that she’s getting to like Dorit more, but thinks something is off. Denise spaces out as Camille talks about everyone. In Denise’s interview, she says Camille wont shut up. It’s making her feel like Camille will be talking about her next. It puts her in a compromising position. She loves everyone, and doesn’t want to tell them what Camille is saying. She doesn’t want everything to blow up. She asks Camille if everyone is going to be fighting on the RV trip. Camille says, it’s going to be the RV from hell.

Aaron and Denise watch the sunrise while having coffee. In Denise’s interview, she says they wake up at five am, have a little hanky-panky, get the kids ready, coffee, gym, and get the kids off to school.

Kyle makes Portia breakfast, leaving it on her bed. She tells the dogs not to touch it, which would be meaningless in my house. In her interview, she says they’ve always done attachment parenting, and Portia still sleeps with them at ten-years-old. Okay… She says they want it, need it, and they’re happy. Okay… again. She doesn’t think she’s spoiling Portia. She’s just taking care of her. It’s her job. Just a thought, but her kids also seem to have a hard time leaving home, and part of a parent’s job is to prepare them for that. Maybe they’re a little too attached.

Denise says her girls love Aaron, and like his cooking better than hers. Parenting teenagers is challenging. The girls fight over who’s wearing whose clothes. In her interview, Denise says they’re pushing the boundaries for independence, and it’s hard to figure out what battles to pick. Sometimes it’s better to let them work it out. There’s no real handbook.

Kyle thinks it’s important for children to know they’re the most important people in your life.  Her world revolves around them. Kyle puts Portia’s socks on her, as Portia picks at the tray. Omg, I was getting myself ready by the time I was eight.

At Villa Blanca, LVP tells Ken that Dorit and PK are coming by. Since they’re not open for lunch, Ken suggests getting sushi. In her interview, LVP says the lunch might be a conduit for putting the friendship back together, if they can find a middle ground. If Dorit says she believes LVP, they can move past it, and be in harmony again.

PK insists this will make things better. Dorit says she still has be true to herself. Friends can have a difference of opinion, but if they both want to find a way to move forward, they can work it out. PK wants them to find a compromise, and is leaving that to them.

The restaurant is all decked out for a celebration about gay rights in India, where homosexuality has just been decriminalized. Puffy! They sit down outside, and PK says it was cold this morning. LVP says she’s felt frozen out for a few weeks. They clink glasses, and Dorit wonders why LVP doesn’t seem very welcoming to her. LVP says everybody is focused on the Radar Online article. Dorit asks why LVP called TMZ instead of calling her, and saying it’s not true. LVP thought it would make a bigger statement. In her interview, Dorit says LVP should have called her to see how she was doing, instead of telling TMZ it was an outrage. Dorit tells LVP that they don’t talk via the media. LVP says one day Dorit is going to realize she was defending her, but she’ll find out too late that LVP was in her corner. In Dorit’s interview, she thinks LVP planted a false story, and then swooped in and defended her. LVP wants to say she was the one who saved Dorit. Dorit says it’s difficult to believe LVP didn’t do it. LVP says if Dorit believes she gave the story to Radar Online, they don’t have a friendship. Does she want LVP to take a lie detector test? PK wonders why they can’t just say things got effed up, and move. Ken says they can only move on if Dorit understands LVP didn’t lie, and is the best friend she’ll ever have. If she doesn’t, there’s no friendship. PK says Ken is trying to control their thoughts, but Ken says he’s trying to convince them that LVP is the most honest person they’ll ever meet. In LVP’s interview, she wonders why Dorit would want to have lunch with a liar. She wouldn’t want to be friends with a liar. Why would they? Dorit says she can’t believe LVP wants to throw away a friendship that she thinks is stronger and more powerful than this incident. LVP says everyone is bringing the gavel down on her just because they want to believe something. Dorit says LVP can say it happened, but Dorit loves her enough to put it behind her. Ken says she’s still saying she doesn’t believe LVP. Dorit says they can agree to disagree, but Ken says they can’t. PK thinks they’re looking at it too black and white. Ken says he knows PK is trying, but his wife isn’t. If she thinks LVP is lying, they can’t be friends. Dorit says she can only hear that someone doesn’t want to be friends with her for so long. PK believes someone in LVP’s camp leaked the story. LVP swears on her kids’ lives that she didn’t, and doesn’t know who did. PK accepts that, but Ken says his wife doesn’t. PK says he’s a trusting and forgiving person, and he can’t control his wife. Dorit says he’s asking her to dig deep, and not be true to herself. PK says he believes LVP. Dorit says, it’s painful. She cares about the friendship, but believes LVP had something to do with the initial story and the Johns. Ken says he’d like to be friends with PK, but… He and LVP go inside.

PK tells Dorit that she wasn’t helpful. She doesn’t think it’s fair. She doesn’t want a conditional friendship. Inside, LVP tells Ken that she doesn’t care. Dorit comes in, and tells LVP that she respects LVP and loves her. LVP wonders how, since friendships are based on honesty. Why would she want to move forward with someone she thinks lied to her. She gives Dorit cheek kisses, and says she loves her. Dorit wonders how she can say that, and LVP says, actually, she doesn’t. This is the first time she’s lied. In Dorit’s interview, she says it’s clear that LVP is still holding a grudge about Dorit saying she’s needy, and needs attention. We flash back to Dorit saying just that, and that LVP’s parents didn’t fulfill her love and attention needs. She says she apologized seven million times. We flash back to that too, but’s it’s more like three times. She says, it’s payback. Remember last year? There you go. A huge question mark hangs over my head about how she came to this conclusion. LVP tells Ken it would be easier to address Congress than talk to that bloody cow.

Yuk! Kyle cuts Mauricio’s toenails. She says as long as her husband is in the house with her, her job will never be done. A photographer comes to take holiday card photos. In her interview, Kyle explains that when she was growing up, her mother always did photo cards. They weren’t professional, but when she had kids, they became a big thing. And she’s going to keep doing it when they have kids. She asks if this is the most Sophia has slept since she went off to college, and Sophia says, yes; she goes to bed at 6 am. In Kyle’s interview, she says she’d worry if she didn’t think Sophia was a responsible kid. The equipment is set up. Kyle goes to get dressed, and tells Mauricio she needs him in jeans and a white button-down shirt.

Everyone sits on the stairs, and gets ready for the photo. Kyle suddenly realizes someone left the gate open, and they all run outside. Romeo is on the loose, and Kyle drags Storm back to the house. In her interview, Kyle says she always feels that her life is like Whack-A-Mole, and I totally relate. Somehow, the photos get taken.

In Teddi’s interview, she says her M.O. for having a catered dinner where the women are taken care of is – news flash – when they go camping, they’ll have to do it themselves. LisaR can’t believe the RV sitting in the driveway. She’s stressed out about it. In her interview, she says she doesn’t like to be uncomfortable. We flash back to her aversion to Harry’s tent. And that’s not a euphemism for anything. She says she doesn’t like to be trapped with anyone, and feels like she will be. In Kyle’s interview, she says she doesn’t like the awkwardness with her friends. She doesn’t want her anger toward PK to trickle down. She thinks she had every right to be angry.

Kyle says there are three tents with room for two and the RV. She’s assuming LVP isn’t coming. Teddi says she didn’t hear from her about tonight, and asks if anyone has talked to her. Erika says LVP texted her about the celebration of Indian gay rights. We see clips from the party. Ken dances with Giggy. Dorit says she and PK had lunch with LVP and Ken. The essence was that either Dorit believe LVP had nothing to do with the article, or they’re not friends. Everyone gasps, and this is so shocking, why? Denise says LVP needs to apologize, and Kyle asks if she’s a comedienne now. In LisaR’s interview, she says, you need to realize you can’t be perfect, and LVP can’t do that. Kyle asks why Dorit is trying so hard. Erika asks how PK feels, and Dorit says PK is the eternal optimist, and wants to continue trying. Kyle brings up PK’s remark to her, saying one of them should have called her. Dorit says PK didn’t mean anything by it, and he apologized to her. Kyle says it wasn’t really an apology. We flash to PK saying, sorry, it was just a joke. Dorit says PK wants to continue to be friends with Ken and LVP, and she’s the one who got tossed aside. Erika asks how that’s working at home. If it was Tom, she’d be showing up there. Dorit says the friendship isn’t more important than their marriage. Kyle thinks something else is going on. In her interview, Kyle thinks it’s odd that PK is protecting the friendship. Maybe it’s business or London secrets. She can’t put her finger on it. It’s probably nothing except he doesn’t want to lose his friends of thirty years. These women are so ridiculous. Dorit says, it’s a deep friendship, and Kyle says she’s better friends with LVP than PK. Dorit knows Kyle thinks so. Camille says she never heard about Dorit and PK until two years ago. Dorit says the people who have known LVP and Ken for thirty years know them. In Erika’s interview, she says here they are again, with these two arguing about who’s a better friend to LVP. We see a clip of the Dorit-Kyle-LVP triangle. Erika says LVP isn’t home worrying about either of those two. Dorit says their friendship isn’t based on whether Kyle heard of them. Kyle says friends know each other’s friends. Dorit says she doesn’t know all of Kyle’s friends, and Kyle says maybe they’re not that close of friends. Dorit can’t believe where the conversation is going. Kyle is hurting her, and she’s asking her to stop.

Denise says she can’t wait for the effing trip they’re going on. Ha-ha!

Next time, the RV trip – which is probably enough – grocery shopping, Teddi thinks PK is acting out, and Teddi confronts Camille about being two faced.

My two cents. I half-jest when I say LVP can do no wrong, but I totally get what she’s saying. If someone clearly stated they didn’t believe me about something – and this is kind of a big something – but still wanted to be friends, I’d wonder why too. What are they getting out of being friends with someone they think is a liar? It’s weird. I’m also with LVP on that I wouldn’t want to be friends with a liar. That’s actually a deal breaker for me. Obviously, it depends on the lie, but it’s definitely a cause for breaking up. She’s also not saying that someone from her camp didn’t leak it. She just doesn’t know who. Even Radar Online has said she had nothing to do with it. While they’re certainly not credible, the bottom line is, there’s no proof. There’s only a bunch of women speculating, with no real evidence. A guest on Watch What Happens Live tonight, Dorit said it was just a feeling she had. Dorit doesn’t get that LVP would always be thinking that someone who’s supposed to be her friend, believes she’s a liar.

If Loving You Is Wrong

Alex tells Ian to get off of her. He thought it was what she wanted, and she tells him, get out. He says, okay, Jennifer, and she says her name is Alex. He says she really doesn’t remember him? She sent him text messages. She says, it wasn’t her, and he says they met. They’re adults. If he’d known she was married, he wouldn’t have said anything. He was married too. She asks what he’s talking about. He says they met at the Maxine hotel. She told him about the break-up. She was so nervous, she kept looking over her shoulder. He doesn’t know why. She says, that never happened. He must be drunk; get out. He says he wouldn’t have said anything if he knew she’d be upset. He talks her down, and says he’ll take the divorce papers home, and bring them back tomorrow. She says he can call her with any advice; he doesn’t need to come. Well, she could do worse. He’s divorced. she’s about to be. and Marcie isn’t interested. so why not?

Eddie comes over to Lushion’s desk with to-go (empty) coffee cups. (I have this thing about actors not making it look like the cup is full. Where is the direction when it comes to this?!) Lushion says Eddie is a fool if he thinks he’s going to drink it. Eddie says he’s trying to be nice. Lushion says, no. Eddie doesn’t know how to be nice. What’s going on? Eddie says, when he’s being normal, Lushion thinks he’s up to something. Lushion says he’s always trying to raise hell. Eddie says, no secrets. He knows they’re FBI, and he’s DEA. They both want to take down the cartel. Instead of hiding stuff from each other, they should work toward a common goal. They should share information. Lushion likes it, and tells Eddie, go first. Eddie starts talking, and Lushion asks what this is about. Eddie asks why Lushion stopped asking him about Andrew. Lushion isn’t a quitter. Lushion asks if Eddie wants to tell him where Andrew is. Eddie says he knows as much as Lushion. He asks if Andrew is in protective custody. Lushion asks if he’s worried about something. He asks again if Eddie knows where Andrew is. Eddie says he has no idea. He came to extend an olive branch, and it’s not happening. He’s still trying to take Eddie out. Lushion says, with everything inside him. Eddie says, enjoy his latte, and Lushion dumps it in the trash. Eddie says, that’s $4.95, you son of a bitch, and leaves. Rick walks in and says he hates that guy. That was weird, Eddie was behaving like we’ve never seen him, and even his voice sounded different. What’s up with that?

Lushion tells Rick, join the club. Rick has something. He gives Lushion a file, and says he talked to Margaret. She gave him that. It’s a file of the women the church tried to hide, who were being stalked by Travis. Lushion says it’s exactly what they need. Will they talk? Rick says, they’re afraid to. Lushion says what they have should be enough. Rick asks if he can tell Kelly, but Lushion says, not yet. Rick says he’ll just tell her that they’ve got something good, and Lushion says, okay. He appreciates rick, and tells him, great work. Rick asks if he’s saying they’re going to get her off. Lushion says, they’re going to try.

Lushion calls Ian, and says he’s got something. Nine women who Travis stalked, and proof the church settled. Ian asks, how did he get it? and Lushion says, he got it. Ian says, does he know it’s legit? and Lushion says, he knows it is. Ian says it’s too close. If they go down that road, Larry already thinks it’s him. He’s still in, but has to think it out. Lushion says he’s trying to trust Ian. Be straight up. Ian says he’s in. Give him some time to figure it out. Lushion wants Kelly out, and Ian says he’ll call when he’s out of court. He asks how long Lushion has known Alex, and Lushion says, a while; why? Ian asks if she’s the type to step out on her husband. Lushion wonders if he’s asking if she’s available, but Ian says he’s just. Lushion asks him to come over with the kid lawyer later, and Ian says he’s on it.

Ian calls Carl, and says he wants to talk about a case. It has to stay very private. He knows Carl met with Kelly; it’s about her. Don’t tell a soul. He’ll text Carl with the address.

Rick beings Kelly some pudding. He says they got it. Several other women at the church, but they’re afraid to talk. Kelly says she could be stuck in there, but Rick says Lushion is talking to a lawyer, and they’re both going to talk to the DA. Kelly asks if there’s a chance they’ll know she’s not lying, and Rick says, yeah. She asks, how long will it take? He doesn’t know, but not long. They’re working on it. She thanks him for the pudding, and he thanks her for not hating him for not believing her. She says he didn’t know, but he says he should have; he’s an officer. Kelly says, she slept with him. She should have known. Rick says, it’s over now, but she says, no, it’s not. She’s in jail. He says they’re getting her out. She loves his confidence, and he says that’s how he feels. He tells her, if she likes pudding, she can always hit him up.

Dr. Raston calls Alex, to make sure she’s on time for the board meeting. In the time it takes for me to think, geez, she doesn’t ned a babysitter, the phone rings again. It’s Brad, who reminds her that he’ll be over today, and she needs to sign the papers. She says she hasn’t had a chance for the lawyer to look them over. He says he gave her 24-hours. Ooh, what a prince. She promises to sign them, and he says, nothing is changing. She has something to tell him first. He doesn’t care, but she says the baby’s not Randal’s. Brad laughs, and asks if she expects him to believe that. She thinks it might be his, and he says she’s out of her mind. There’s no way it’s his baby. Alex says the doctor told her sometimes genes skip a generation. He says there’s no one of that ethnicity in his family, and she asks if he’s sure. He wonders what kind of game she’s playing. She ask him to please double-check, and he says she’s insane. She better be there tonight to sign the papers. He hangs up, and Marcie asks what that was about. He tells her Alex says he’s the father. The DNA test said Randal isn’t the father. Marcie thought the results were switched, and Brad says he just wants the divorce. She’s out of her mind. He just wants to be free. Marcie says they’re almost there.

There’s a knock on Alex’s door. It’s Ian, who asks if he can come in. He promises whatever happened, it won’t happen again. He was drunk, and he’s very sorry. She lets him in. He tells her that Brad is pretty much taking everything. She gets the house, 50% of his income, and joint custody for two of the kids. He can get her more, but she says she only wants what’s fair, and Brad is being fair. Ian says, he’s only providing for two of the kids, and she says, it’s fine. She’ll sign. He says if she changes her mind, let him know, He’s really sorry, and asks her to please forgive him. He leaves, and she sits down.

Natalie gets the mail. Ben is driving by, and says, hi. She says she needed talk to him. He asks, what happened? and she says, nothing. His wife was saying Randal was looking into their house, and she was on her way to the store and saw him. He was looking with binoculars, and she wanted to let him know. He thanks her, and she says maybe they could close the curtains. He says his wife likes the light, but he’ll talk to Randal. Natalie doesn’t think that will do any good, but Ben says he can be convincing. She says she’s never known anyone who can stop Randal, and Ben says she’s never met him. She says, no, she hasn’t. She offers to get Lushion, but he says he’ll handle it, and thanks her.

Ben asks Tanya how she is, and sees the painting of Randal at the window. Ben says, it’s beautiful, and she says she’s been working on it all day. He asks what it’s about, and she says he’s just looking at the girl across the street. Ben asks if this really happened, and she says, no. He asks why the man is naked, and she says, he just is. She tells him that she made dinner. He looks beyond annoyed, and says he forgot something in the car. He leaves, picking up a spray can of paint on his way out the door.

Ben bangs on Randal’s door. There’s no answer, so he goes around the back, and kicks that door in. He grabs a bat, and goes absolutely apesh*t on the house. Throwing things out of the drawers, ripping up artwork, taking the bat to whatever is on the counters and tables, smashing things, and turning over furniture. There go a couple of glass tables. On the wall, he paints, bitch, next time I burn this down 😊 Smiley included.

At the meeting, Alex says Dr. Raston didn’t switch the tests. It was totally her. She lied to cover up something she did. The judge asks if she’d testify to that in court, and she says, yes. The doctor says, she also signed an affidavit. The judge says he’s heard enough; bring in Randal. Alex freaks, and Dr. Raston says he had to be a part of it. Larry comes in with Randal, and Randal says he’s going to fry this bitch for his pain and suffering. The judge says the board is satisfied that Dr. Raston did nothing inappropriate. He asks who the hell switched it, and Alex says they weren’t switched. Alex asks the doctor to explain it to him. The doctor says there were three remaining samples. No one switched the DNA. Randal asks, what went wrong? and she says there’s no way he can be the child’s biological father. Randal laughs, and says that’s why he’s suing the hell out of this place – for lying. Dr. Raston says he’s welcome to take the child to his own lab, and Larry asks to see the results. He looks over the paperwork, and Randal says, it’s his kid. Larry says he never saw a hospital put themselves under this much scrutiny. These tests are legit. He knows the hospital’s reputation. He asks if Alex would like to share., Randal goes cross-eyed, and guesses it’s not his baby. He says, okay, so she was cheating on him. He laughs, and says she’d do this to him. He starts getting manic, and Larry pulls him toward the door. He yell, this is my kid, and laughs some more. Larry pushes him out.

Esperanza calls Larry. She really wants the papers filed. He’s in his car, and says the office can file for her, but he needs to be present when she signs. She asks when Eddie will be served, and he says, today. He wants to make it easy for her. She asks if they can prepare them and shell call when she wants him to be served, but Larry thinks it’s a good time now. There’s a knock at door, and Steven comes in. She tells him that she didn’t want to talk at the station. She’s about to do something that could ruin Eddie. He’ll be mad as hell. She’s going to take full custody, and take his job away. He’s not going to take it well. Steven asks if she’s afraid of him, and she says, no. It’s how he’s going to act and react when he loses his job. Steven says it’s not her problem, but she says his job all Eddie has. Steven says, the guy is horrible, and she asks if she can count on him. He asks if she’s scared of Eddie, and she admits she is, a little. He’s going to flip out. Steven asks if Eddie has hit her, but she says, no. She just wants to know that Steven has her back. She asks if he’ll come with her to the courthouse, and he says, let’s go. She hugs him, and he says she’s shaking. She says, it never gets easier, and he says, that’s going to change.

Ben watches as Randal pulls in. Randal’s phone rings, and he asks what the hell they want. It’s Marcie, who says she heard it’s not his baby. How does it feel? She guesses he can’t make a baby either. How does it feel to lose every hope? He calls her an evil bitch, and she says, he’s the evil one. He’s the devil. Who was that whore sleeping with? He says she thinks it’s funny, and she says, yes. He has to live next door to her. It looks like now, neither one of them have kids. He says he just got started, and she says, her too. He hangs up, and goes inside.

As soon as Randal walks in, he starts yelling. He screams, Alex! although why he assumes it’s her and not Marcie, I have on idea. He paces around saying, are you serious? Stupid bitch! He says, okay. All right, bitch. He laughs, and says, you’re done. he paces some more, and storms out. Ben watches as Randal gets in his car.

Ian gives Larry some papers. Larry says Ian wouldn’t believe the day he’s having. Randal found out Alex’s kid isn’t his. Ian says, they had a kid? Larry says, so he thought. Today Randal found out that’s not the case, and he’s going crazy. Larry asks, what’s going on? and Ian thinks they have a problem. He thinks some officers are on to the settlement with the women in the church. Larry asks if Ian said anything, but Ian says, no. Lushion has been asking him to help Kelly out. Naturally, he said no, and Lushion said they’d found something. Lushion thinks he’s on their side, and he thinks he should play it in the middle. Larry says it’s hard to believe the loyalty is there if he is in the middle. He tells Ian, stay on top of it. Otherwise, it’s his ass. Ian says he’s all over it.

Lushion comes home, and tells Natalie that Ian and the kid lawyer are coming over. She needs to tell him something. Randal has been staring at the woman across the street with binoculars. There’s a knock at the door, and she says she’ll let him handle it. Ian comes in with Carl. Lushion tells Carl that he wants him to rep Kelly. Carl thought he didn’t want that, but Lushion says he changed his mind. Carl asks, what about Ian, but Ian says he can’t; there’s a conflict. Carl is going to walk into the DA’s office, lay out the evidence against Travis, and convince them to drop the charges. Carl says the DA is tough, but Ian says he’s tougher. He’ll give Carl all of his notes. Just pay close attention. Lushion tells him, just breathe. Ian says someone gave him a shot; now it’s Carl’s turn. They shake hands, and Carl leaves.

Lushion asks if Ian thinks he’ll be okay. Ian says, he’ll be fine. It’s textbook. The DA is a bulldog, but he’ll be fine. There’s a knock at the door, and this time it’s Brad, his lawyer, and Alex. They need a witness. Natalie tells Lushion that she said she would. Lushion didn’t know this was happening there. Alex signs, Natalie signs, and Brad gives the papers to his lawyer. He tells Alex, now she’s free to screw anyone she wants to. Randal or a random guy on the street. Don’t say that’s his kid again. She says he should take the DNA test, but he says he’s not doing a damn thing. He leaves, and Natalie says she’s sorry. Alex says she’s got to go, and Natalie promises to check on her later. Ian says he’ll see them later, and Lushion says he hopes it works. Ian says, it will be fine.

Alex cries on the way home, Ian runs after her. He asks how many men there were, and she says, excuse me? He asks how many men she slept with. She says, go to hell, and he says he knows it was her. He looked at all the profiles he got with a screen grab. It was her. He shows Alex her profile picture on his phone, and says, Jennifer. Is there any chance the baby could be his?

This was the finale. I think we’re going directly to The Haves and The Have Nots next week.

🚵 Like My Week…

And we’re only just starting day three.