Tag Archives: Real Housewives of the OC

July 17, 2017 – Sonny Haunts Sam, Where Charm Ends Shep Begins, Awkward in the OC & a Little Oklahoma

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

The week is off to a great start. All of a sudden, I had no sound on my TV. (Please, God, anything but that.) It turned out to be a loose connection (probably due to the drilling, banging, and general aggravation of the atmosphere, with the workers building a new house across the street), and all is well now, but I had to watch GH on the FIOS website.  ♫ What I did for soaps… ♫

General Hospital

Sam tells Jason he doesn’t have to come with her to pick up her prescriptions. He says he wants to spend the day with her, and help her relax like the doctor said she should. Elizabeth comes by and says there’s an appointment cancellation. She asks if Sam wants to re-schedule her follow-up tests.

Carly visits Sonny. She wants him to put her wedding ring set back on her finger. She thought it was more than putting on a piece of jewelry; it’s renewing their commitment. He tells her to hold the thought.

Griff tells Ava she’s been released, but she doesn’t want to go. She says it’s too soon. He says she’s still healing, but no longer a risk for infection. She says she’s not letting Felix take her back to the penthouse. When he suggests going to Julian’s or Kiki’s place, she says that she’s not leaving the hospital.

Jordan calls Curtis and asks how Stella is. He says according to the doctors, she’s doing better. Since she flipped out on him about staying the night, he thinks they’re right; she’s getting back to her old self. Jordan says she wanted to spend time with TJ and give Stella some space. Curtis says he’ll make it up to her.

Andre runs into Anna at the station, where she’s following up on Valentin’s release. The charges have been dropped, and he’s a free man.

Laura walks through the park with Spencer and Charlotte. Spencer tells Laura that the original camp production was Cats until he convinced them otherwise. He says Cats has no narrative and just presents introductions of the characters until one is picked to die. Ha-ha! He’s right. He goes on about how great Hamlet is, and says that they have to do something to shock the audience. Valentin has been listening from behind a tree. He steps out, and says he couldn’t agree more. Charlotte runs to greet him.

Charlotte wonders where he was, and he says he had important business. Laura says he’s not supposed to be there. He says he’ll see Charlotte after camp, and Laura tells Spencer and Charlotte to go ahead. Laura tells Valentin that it was cruel to get Charlotte’s hopes up. He says he’s already petitioned the court about custody. Now that he’s been exonerated, it shouldn’t be a problem.

Charlotte asks Spencer why he’s so mean to her poppa, since he never did anything to him. Spencer tells her that Valentin murdered his father.

Andre asks if Anna is bothered by Valentin getting a free pass. She says he was lucky, and she hopes he takes advantage of making a new life for himself. If he goes back to his old ways, she’ll have to take him down. Andre says that’s the Anna he knows, and she’s a good dancer. He apologizes, but they agree that there’s no reason to be awkward around each other. Jordan appears, and thanks Anna for coming in. When Andre leaves, Jordan asks what she just walked in on.

Sonny says if he’s putting Carly’s rings back on, she has to do the same for him. He’s been keeping his ring in a box with his mother’s rosary, Stone’s medal, and Morgan’s watch; the things too precious for him to ever give away. Carly asks if they can promise to not focus on the bad, build on each other’s strength, and give the kids the best of them. Sonny promises. They both say they love each other with all their hearts, and for all their lives.

Ava tells Griff that it’s not the new normal, and she has no desire to make children cry like she did her own daughter. It’s best for everybody if she stays locked away.

Jason is surprised. Sam had told him she had the all clear, and said nothing about follow-up tests. Elizabeth apologizes; she didn’t know that Sam hadn’t told him. Sam says it’s convenient that her slip up caused an argument between her and Jason. While Sam mumbles about reporting Elizabeth, Jason steers her away. He says that Elizabeth’s mistake isn’t the issue, and asks why she lied.

Sonny says he’d love to celebrate, but it ain’t all good news. Ava isn’t going to be prosecuted. It’s just circumstantial and the DA thinks the jury will feel sorry for her. Carly is livid that Ava is getting away with her involvement in Morgan’s death. Sonny says they’ll have to make peace. She says if they can’t get justice from the system, they’ll have to get it themselves. Sonny says it’s over.

Griff tells Ava that appearance has nothing to do with her living a long and fulfilling life. She says, easy for him to say. He says she doesn’t have to go through it alone. He says he’s sending Felix in to get her ready.

Jordan tells Anna that she’s cool with her pursuing a relationship with Andre, but Anna says they’re just good friends. Jordan says she’s hoping things work out for somebody, since her life is way too complicated.

Felix chatters to Stella about Epiphany’s antics. Stella says if more orderlies told stories like him, she wouldn’t mind the hospital so much. He says Curtis just left, and he thinks it’s the first time since she got there. She says he and TJ are her only family. Felix remembers something, and brings in a bouquet of peonies. Stella tells him that she used to get bouquets like that from someone special.

Sam says she didn’t lie. The tests were just precaution. He asks why she cancelled, and she says something came up. He says she’s on edge and exhausted, and he wonders why she doesn’t want to find out what’s wrong. She says it’s her health, and she wanted to see how it went with rest and supplements before scheduling more tests. She says Jason has even climbed out of windows to avoid doctors, but he says they have kids now. He goes to the desk, and asks Elizabeth if she can schedule Sam. In her head, Sonny tells Sam she’d better get out of the exam.

Valentin asks Laura If she’s aware of the lawsuit. She says Spencer can never be compensated for the loss of his father, but it’s a start. He says there’s no proof that Nicholas is dead. He faked his death before, and could be doing it again. Valentin says he’ll protect what’s his by whatever means necessary.

Charlotte says Spencer is wrong. He says why she thinks her mother hates him so much – he killed her brother. Charlotte says he would never do that, and stomps off.

Ava tells Griff that she can’t do this. Here’s where the website decided I needed to sign in again. Even though I’d checked “keep me signed in.” Sigh.

Jordan tells Anna about Stella having a stroke, and it’s not the first one. She thinks the best thing she can do is stay far away. Anna asks why. Jordan says Stella hates her. She says after Thomas died, she had her first stroke, and had the second after Jordan and Curtis said they planned to stay together. Anna says maybe it’s not the reason, but Jordan says, maybe it is. She thinks she’ll be responsible if there’s another stroke that kills Stella.

Curtis wants to know about Stella’s admirer too, but Stella says it was just puppy love. Felix has to go, and says he’ll get the deets later. Curtis says he’s known her his whole life, and never thought about her life before then. She says kids never do. He says he’s not a child anymore, and asks who it was. She says it was long ago, and there’s no use dwelling on it. He says it was obviously important. She says his name was Marcus, and they went together when she was in college. He proposed, and she accepted. He asks why it never happened, and she says because of him.

Jason tells Sam that it won’t take too long. Hallucination Sonny says maybe they’ll find something wrong; maybe they’ll find out about him, and think she’s a crazy lady who sees things that aren’t there. Maybe they’ll lock her up. Jason asks if she’s okay.

Andre asks Ava for a moment of her time.

Stella tells Curtis that she dropped out of college and moved back to Baltimore. Curtis says it’s horrible; he never thought she gave up so much. He asks why Marcus didn’t come with her, but she says he had a job offer in San Francisco, so she had a choice to make. She could move to California, or be there for her family. In the end, it was no decision.

Griff is covering Dr. Bench’s patients. He says he looked at her chart, and wants to do neuroscans. He says it’s just a precaution to rule out anything serious.

Carly is surprised that Sonny wants to let it go. He says hell no, but she’s a better person than he is. She says to leave her out of it. He tells her that Avery will have to grow up knowing about Ava’s part in Morgan’s murder. Does Carly want her to find out that they had a part in Ava’s death. The only way to bear her is to not let her consume their thoughts. Carly says before she lets it go, she wants to visit Morgan’s grave.

Andre tells Ava to give him a call, and wishes her good luck finding her place in the world.

Charlotte runs to Valentin. Laura asks what happened, and she says, him, pointing to Spencer. Spencer says he just told her the truth – her father killed his father.

Ava tells Felix she’d like to make a stop first. You know where she’s going, right? I’ll bet you a million bucks it’s the cemetery.

Anna has a doctor’s appointment, and Jordan thanks her for the talk, saying it felt like old times. Anna tells her to remember that they’re friends, and asks if it helped. Jordan says she’s spent months pushing Curtis away, and not dealing with her feelings. Maybe she’s using Stella to do that again. Anna says to call Curtis and tell him how she feels. They hug and get all mushy about their friendship.

Curtis says that Stella sacrificed her future for theirs. She says she wouldn’t change a thing; it was the most rewarding experience of her life. His phone rings. It’s Jordan, and Stella tells him to take it, but he says he’s here with her now. She says she’ll try to make peace with “that woman’s” role in his life. She’ll have to learn to control her temper, but all she ever wanted was for him to be happy.

Charlotte says Spencer is lying. Spencer says he’s not. Laura wants Charlotte to go back to camp, and says they’ll deal with it later. Spencer thinks Valentin should answer the question. Valentin says it’s a complicated, grown-up matter, but Spencer says, not so complicated; he just has to tell the truth and admit what he did. Valentin tells Charlotte something in French, and she leaves. He asks Spencer if he’s proud of himself, hurting Charlotte to get to him. Laura tells Spencer to go with Charlotte, and Valentin asks Laura if this was her plan all along – to use Spencer. She says she’s not happy about it. but he’s just a kid who told the truth, and Valentin has no one to blame but himself. He calls Spencer spoiled and over-indulged, and says Spencer has hurt his daughter, and he’s not letting it happen again.

Curtis apologizes for causing Stella stress with his relationship. She says it’s the sacrifice you make for family. Jordan calls again, and she tells him to take it or she’ll just keep calling. He goes in the hallway. Jordan asks if he wants to have dinner and talk. He thinks it’s a good idea. Hmm… I’m not liking the way he said that.

At the gravesite, Carly talks to Morgan. She says they miss him every day. Sonny says they found out what happened, and know he was following his program. He’s proud of how Morgan fought his disease. He wishes he’d been there for him to protect him. Carly says they didn’t do a good job of making it right, and the pain got the best of them. Sonny says it’s over, and they’re moving forward. He wants Morgan to know he’s getting out of the business, and he’s going to make Morgan’s brothers and sisters happy. He tells Morgan that he loves him, and Carly says they miss him every minute of every day, but he’s still with them, and gives them strength. Behind them, Ava walks into the cemetery.

Sam says she’s glad to get the tests out of the way, and Griff says that he’ll call with the results. They’ll have clear picture of what’s going on. Griff turns into Sonny, and says they won’t stop until they find her weakness and lock her up. If she’s going to eliminate him, do it now.

Spencer tells Charlotte that he wasn’t trying to upset her, but she says he was. Spencer is told that play practice is beginning soon, and he says he needs time to gather his thoughts to talk to the director. He sits on a bench, rehearsing, and suddenly someone from behind puts a hood over his head.

Tomorrow, Laura attacks Valentin, Sonny tells Ava that she’s not walking away from Morgan’s death, and Julian is told that Ava has been released.

Southern Charm – Reunion Part Two

Kathryn brings up Thomas staying at Jennifer’s house. He insists he slept on the couch. He says he thought they had an agreement to protect her. If she keeps it up, she’ll never work in this town again, and it’s not going to be pretty. She says she’ll wait for him to calm down. I have no idea what this is about, but Thomas is clearly overreacting.

Andy says there was a lot of negative feedback about Kathryn’s treatment of Jennifer, and how not everything is about her. We see the clip of Jennifer telling Kathryn about Ascher having surgery. Kathryn says that Jennifer was crying about her son, and suddenly switched subjects. (Note: When watching this a second time, I can totally see how Kathryn would think she was being fake and using the moment for sympathy. She could very well be one of those people who gets hooked on the attention.) Jennifer says she would never be manipulative that way. Kathryn says she doesn’t want negativity and would like apologies from those who have wronged her. Jennifer says Kathryn owes her an apology, and she says she already apologized, and apologizes again. She says that she’d like to resolve their issues, and Andy asks Jennifer if she sees the friendship getting back on track. She uses a lot of words to say that she does. Kathryn doesn’t want to cry anymore, and suggests they move on. Exit Jennifer.

Whitney takes her place. We talk about Thomas’s parenting skills. Thomas says he’s embraced it. He spent years being selfish, and you can’t be that way when you’re a parent. He talks about buying a new home, and wanting a kid friendly place. Kathryn tears up hearing about a swing set and pool, but says she’s okay. Other viewers aren’t as generous, because it looks like the kids are being raised by nannies. Thomas’s dating life is brought up. He says the girls are either too young or too old. Andy points out that Thomas is in his 50s. Everyone wonders what mojo actually is.

Andy asks Cameran if there’s a double standard about dating someone younger, and she says when you’re thirty, if you’re a woman, you’re over the hill. Landon’s dislike of the website meeting is covered. Shep says that he was told she was acting out-of-sorts and not behaving well. Landon talks about being sexually harassed by being asked to put on a mini skirt. He says if he’s wrong, sorry, but he went on the information he had. He apologizes. Andy wonders if she sets herself up for criticism. Austen starts to answer, and Landon interrupts. Andy says there were a lot of gold-digger comments, and Cameran says it’s easy for people to misinterpret Landon. Shep says he often hopes she won’t say the things she does. Landon admits to pretentious obnoxious conversation, but says it’s just friendly banter to say things like Vale is a truck stop.

Thomas saying that Landon was marriage material is brought up. He says he wasn’t jumping to her being his wife. We flash back to that drunk woman who said they were soulmates in the restaurant. How much was she paid? Andy claims it wasn’t a plan, and Landon says the woman’s son was mortified. The Valentine’s weekend is mentioned, and Kathryn says it was just a gut feeling that Thomas and Landon hooked up. Landon says the whole thing is false, and it wasn’t even Valentine’s Day. We flash back to Cameran taking Kathryn’s side about it, and Cameran says she would have used more discretion. Andy asks if Kathryn still believes something went on. She does, but doesn’t care anymore.

We see the clip of Landon insulting Kathryn in Key West. Landon says she doesn’t really believe the things she said, and wants Kathryn to be happy and have her kids with her. We move on to Landon’s apology at the dinner. Kathryn thinks they weren’t genuine then, but are now, calling a truce. Andy asks about Landon saying that Thomas uses her as a weapon against Kathryn. Kathryn thinks that’s true to a point, since he knew it would bother her. The next clip is the breakfast in the Keys where Landon stood up for Kathryn. Landon says she lived that [with her husband], and felt sympathy. Thomas says he was attacked and he counter-attacked, but she didn’t see the original attack. I roll my eyes so far back, I can see behind me. He insists that no one knows the whole story, but he should have kept his mouth shut. Andy asks if Landon was surprised at Thomas’s reaction, and she says no; he’s sensitive. Aww! A mini discussion on Pride and Prejudice happens, and Thomas acknowledges being thin-skinned. Andy asks if Landon’s defense of Kathryn changed Kathryn’s mind, and Kathryn says she felt that Landon had the ability to be genuine, and it meant a lot. Andy asks where Thomas and Landon stand, and Thomas says they’re friends. Landon says they went to a wedding together recently as friends, and Whitney makes a hand gesture, asking if they…

How old are we?

The topic of Cameran trying to hook Shep up with Chelsea is next, and Chelsea joins the group. She was a finalist on Survivor. I never knew that, and wonder if it was a season that I saw. She says she had a harder time watching this show, especially with her family. No kidding. Cameran says she was trying to set them up for years. Chelsea says she’s known Shep longer than any of the others. She says he’s a party boy whose gotten work. A viewer asks if Cameran really has feelings for Shep, because of their chemistry, but she says he’s like a brother and she farts in front of him. Shep says he dated Chelsea’s roommate, but when he saw Chelsea, thought he got the wrong roommate.

Shep’s drinking is discussed. Chelsea says Cameran sees lunch date Shep when the rest of them see late night Shep. We see a clip of Austen stumbling over telling Shep that he and Chelsea are dating. Excuse me, hanging out. Andy asks why Cameran thought Shep was the one, but she says she didn’t realize Austen was even interested. Andy asks Chelsea what Austen has that Shep doesn’t. She says it was more endearing and felt more genuine when Austen pursued her. A viewer thinks she’s playing them against each other, but she says it’s not her intention. Andy asks if she’s being held to a double standard and Kathryn thinks she is.

The Shep almost kiss is next. We see the clip of Chelsea telling Austen about it. Shep insists he wasn’t as insistent as is being claimed. He says he’s a gentle person, but maybe impatient. He says he was uncool, but both Austen and Chelsea had sworn they weren’t serious, and Cameran thought so too. He says if he had thought something was going on, he wouldn’t have done it. Andy asks if he thought Austen and Landon had an attraction. Shep says he thought where there’s smoke, there’s fire, because they Facetime so often. Austen and Landon both insist they’ve only just been friends. Kathryn says it’s another situation where Landon doesn’t think she did anything wrong, but it’s questionable. Landon thinks it’s Kathryn’s insecurities talking, but she says that’s not the case. Chelsea thinks Landon was definitely flirting with him, and Kathryn says if that’s what she’s feeling, she’s probably right.

Andy wants to set things straight about Craig and Shep’s near fight. Shep says he wanted to know what Craig’s motives were, and thinks Craig deliberately went after him. We see the clip of Shep saying that trying to kiss Chelsea was a test, but Shep says he was just being funny. Whitney says when he tried to kiss his girlfriend, she just laughed. Kathryn wonders what Chelsea feels, and she says that Shep has a sense of entitlement. Whitney says he is who he is, and Chelsea says that because he’s Shep, he can be disrespectful. It’s agreed that Shep shouldn’t get a pass. Andy asks if people are overreacting to his aggression. Chelsea doesn’t think so, but also thinks it’s been easy for him. She’s not saying he’s a monster, but drunk Shep is different. Andy asks the women if they have anything to say. Cameran says most of the time it works for him.

We see the clip where Shep says Austen is like a brother. Shep says he’d be very upset to lose him as a friend. Austen says he was glad when everyone made it right. Andy asks if Austen and Chelsea are still together, but that’s a no. She wouldn’t say no to reconciliation though. Craig says everyone makes up at the reunions, and after one of them, a child was conceived. Chelsea leaves the group.

Andy asks about Shep missing the flight. He says he didn’t want to let go of the Key West feeling, and we see a clip of him drunk before they left. Cameran says a stranger approached her at the airport, and said her friend took a fry off of his plate. Shep says he was in dire straits. Craig asks if Shep thinks he would have been arrested if Craig hadn’t helped him. Austen was surprised he got through security at all. Shep tells him to keep his mouth shut. Andy is like, what did you just say?

Craig says, no, that’s how you get through security, by keeping your mouth shut. Andy asks Cameran if she thinks Shep admitting that he doesn’t feel anything for anyone is a cry for help. Shep insists that he’s happy. Craig reads him as searching for a purpose. Shep says the grass is always greener, but even his friends who have families have moments. Yoda Shep says that life is peaks and valleys, ups and downs, and he’s okay with that. Craig says what if he said that, and he continued to impose himself when not asked for advice. Shep says Craig is delusional while he’s introspective. Craig keeps saying that he’s killing it, and it’s not real. Craig says it is for him, and he roots for people, unlike Shep. Andy wonders about their hostility toward one another. Shep says neither one of them will ever admit they’re wrong. Craig says he gets annoyed, but doesn’t take it personally. Shep says he thinks Craig is over sensitive, and needs to be told he’s great all the time. Craig says that’s not accurate, and he’ll change “killing it” to “being really happy.” As usual. Shep talks over Craig. Craig says there’s a difference between life is perfect and being happy. He says he lets Shep be a drunk a-hole, and doesn’t get involved in his life, and Shep says, no, you. Andy says they’re both drunk a-holes. Kathryn says everyone can be a drunk a-hole, and it sounds like her and Thomas.

Moving on to Saint’s birthday party. Thomas felt that Kathryn was in a good place. Andy says there’s an intensity when Thomas looks at Kathryn. She says they’ve been through a lot, and have two children. She feels that she understands him better than he does himself in some ways. Andy talks about their exchange at Thomas’s, that he supposes led to a kiss. Craig says they still have chemistry. Thomas tries to make it like it was a kiss on the cheek. Andy asks if they’ll get back together, and Kathryn says she was expecting that question. Thomas talks about seeing her, wondering who the beautiful woman was, and realizing that it was her. After which, he booked.

Andy asks if Craig would have finished law school sooner if everyone had stayed off of his back, and he says yes. He hopes things work out with Naomie. Landon’s website is starting to make money, but she’s also renewed her real estate license, and will be working part-time for her dad. Translation: Thomas probably bought some advertising. Andy asks if Cameran will have time for her man babies once she has a real one, and she tells him she’ll do her best. Thomas says that his father says it’s a good day when he reads the newspaper from cover to cover, and Thomas isn’t in it. Andy asks Kathryn what advice she’d give to her younger self, and she says, don’t believe everything you’re told. Shep has a spin-off show coming up called Relationshep, where he goes on a search for love. I’ll bet he’s no Flava Flav though. Shep says his time is now. Andy hopes for everyone’s personal growth. Thomas makes a stupid rhyming toast, and we’re out. Why was Whitney even there?

👦 There was preview for Relationshep, where Shep tours the country, meeting women his friends have picked out. If any of them click with Shep, they’ll be invited back to Charleston.

The Real Housewives of the OC

Feng shui expert, Elaine, visits Shannon. She says Shannon doesn’t want to bring the old energy or whatever into the new house. Shannon says they’ve used Elaine for years. How’s that workin’ for ya? Shannon thinks it was getting better in the old house, but there was too much stress. She brings up Vicki making allegations that David beat her. Elaine says the relationship energy isn’t good, because there’s a toilet in her relationship area. What does that mean? Shannon says some relationships need to go down the drain.

Vicki and assistant Linda are packing up the office. Vicki says her to-do list is making her crazy. It’s the same as a house, times a hundred million. I once was moving to a new apartment at the same time my office was moving. Vicki ain’t got nothin’ on me. Vicki told Steve that he might not want to be around for a while because she could lose her mind. Linda says her office was the best according to Feng shui expert. Vicki says how stupid it was, and Linda says they had to keep buying oranges. We flash back to the whole nine lemons thing from Shannon’s first season. I guess you can use oranges too. Elaine talks about appliances being male and female, and some yin and yang stuff. In her interview, Shannon says her refrigerator has two doors, so maybe it swings both ways. BA-DUM-CHH! Sometimes Shannon can be funny.

Baby Aspen is cranking up, but Meghan gets a smile out of her. She says her life is no longer hers. She and Jim get all of the baby gear into the car. In her interview, Meghan says that motherhood is special, and lovely, and unlike anything she imagined. Then she laughs. Jim drives as Meghan blabs about the girls. She’s been trying to focus on what’s important, like getting sleep. She says she feels like she’s in the middle too much, and Jim asks what they’re having for dinner, because he’s such a good listener.

Lydia goes to a photo shoot. She and Doug have a new magazine called Nobleman about what it’s like to be today’s man. They sold their shares in Beverly Hills Lifestyle to their partner, and this one is just theirs. They take an editor’s photo. Lydia says that Doug owns 51%, so he’s technically her boss, but they know who pulls the strings. They also have pictures taken of a couple who are being featured. It’s new Housewife Peggy, and her husband Diko. Peggy has just had a preventative mastectomy because her mother died of breast cancer. Lydia isn’t sure what to say, since it’s a lot to hear when first meeting someone. She tells Peggy if she’s looking for a distraction, she should meet Lydia’s friends.

Tamra is planning a birthday party for one-year old granddaughter, Ava. It’s at a ranch that has small wildlife preserve. Tamra says that Sarah and Ryan either love or hate each other, and she’s staying out of it. They check out some beer at the bar. Tamra talks to Sarah about Shannon and Briana have been invited. Tamra says it’s becoming awkward after what she went through with Vicki. We flash back to Tamra screaming at Vicki two inches from her face. Oddly enough, Tamra didn’t want to see Vicki’s face, so she cut ties with Briana on social media without explanation, because she’s an immature moron.

Kelly and Michael are going to work out. She says last year they weren’t in a good place, but it’s better now. They’re trying to work together in a positive way. Michael drives like a reckless idiot, and Kelly says they almost got killed. They manage to get to the gym and do some “basic crawling.” In her interview, Kelly says they’re working out three times a week together, which is about all she can handle. They do all kinds of weird, but fun-looking exercises. She says she can relate to Shannon working on the relationship, and marriage is hard work.

Sophie is having her make-up done. Shannon says last year, they were on the playground, and now it’s her winter formal. She tells Sophie to cross her ankles if she sits, because her dress is so short. Shannon is putting food together for the parents. Shannon hopes cotillion has helped hone Sophie’s manners. Sophie tells her not to start crying. We see a picture of Sophie as a toddler, and Shannon insists she’s not crying. In her interview, she says it’s hard watching them grow up, but she’s proud. She feels guilty about exposing them to marital issues, but says they did okay. Whatever she’s making burns, and she has to start over. She eats a piece of bread and justifies it.

The girls come out in their dresses, and they all look gorgeous. Lots of black lace going on. David thinks Sophie should cover up. She says everyone thinks her mom is cool, but she doesn’t. Pictures are taken, and the dates arrive. Shannon has to encourage everyone to say hello. More pictures are taken, and the kids leave.

Peggy is having a family luncheon. She says she was born in Kuwait, but moved here when she was two, and she’s lived in the OC for ten years. Diko helps her prepare the lunch. She tells us they’ve been married 21 years. He lived in Beirut, doing amazingly well, but had to start over again after the war, and has built an empire from nothing. He’s a car freak, and she doesn’t even know how many they have. The guests arrive. She tells us that Armenian families are all about sticking up for each other and good food. They seem like a really cool couple. Peggy is doing well after her surgery, but says what people don’t see is what she’s gone through over the years. We see a clip of her explaining how, because of her mother’s history, the doctors decided to be aggressive. Diko presents her with a 21 karat diamond necklace that cost $85K, because he’s so grateful that God has helped her through this.

Vicki and Steve visit Briana. Briana tells Vicki she’s going to Ava’s birthday party. In her interview, Vicki says in the past, Tamra has tried to drive a wedge between them, but no one can ever do that. Briana says if there’s any problem, she’ll just leave. We see clips from last season, and Briana says it’s a weird spot for her to be in.

The bounce house is set up, and the party begins. The theme is unicorn, and the food is too cute. Unicorn lollipops and such. Like this kid is ever going to remember it. Cool! Lydia’s mom is here! We see a clip of her telling Lydia that God created marijuana and it’s like an aspirin. Tamra stresses about Briana, who says they’re mutually avoiding each other. She thinks her mom and Tamra should talk about their feelings. Good luck with that. Judy fairy dusts people. I missed her. Briana leaves because the party is getting awkward.

Shannon arrives, and Tamra asks if she’d like to get fairy dusted. David finds Eddie and the barbecue, and Shannon says they won’t see him again. Lydia meets Shannon, who says Tamra is one of her closest friends. Lydia says she knew Tamra when she was close to Vicki, but Vicki gave her an update. In her interview, Shannon wonders why Vicki is still talking about her, and thinks she’s obsessed. This is hysterically funny, coming from the person who can’t stop yapping about how Vicki made her gain weight. Lydia introduces Shannon to her mom. Judy tells Shannon that they’re energy is in tune and she has a bright light, then throws some confetti. The unicorn cake comes out, and happy birthday is sung. Tamra wishes Sydney was there, but says maybe next year.

Lydia tells Tamra about her dinner with Vicki. Tamra says her issues are her own. Shannon tells her that Vicki made horrible allegations about her husband. Lydia thinks they’re acting almost the same as Vicki, and Shannon takes offense. Lydia says that Vicki was hurt too. Shannon says she lied about her boyfriend having cancer, and was in on the lie. She’s just mad because she was called out on it. Shannon says that Vicki hurt her kids, and all the weight she’s gained is stress and Vicki. In her interview, Lydia thinks that Shannon took crazy pills. Shannon says that she’s not cruel to Vicki, but she will call her out. Okay. Tamra says that Shannon is expressive and emotional. You know where you stand, but sometimes she needs to calm down. Doug comes by, and Lydia says he’s literally Prince Charming saving her from the evil witch. Tamra wants Shannon and Lydia to get along because they both have good hearts, but this didn’t go well. Lydia tells her mother that Shannon screamed at her, which is a bit of an exaggeration. Judy says that Lydia is the friend whisperer, and calls Shannon a lost soul.

Shannon tells Tamra that she’s sorry she offended her friend, but she’s going to defend herself. Lydia is leaving, and Tamra tells her that Shannon is upset because she reminded her of Vicki. Even though Shannon is right there, stuffing her face. Lydia asks if she can’t talk to her herself, and tells Shannon that she just met her, and she’s getting screamed at. Tamra says that Shannon is just passionate, and Shannon says she didn’t raise her voice. Lydia starts to say something, but Shannon says she doesn’t know her and won’t listen. She keeps repeating that she’s not like Vicki. Lydia says she thinks it’s semantics. She says she doesn’t want to hang out if she’s going to be attacked. Shannon says talk to her mom, who said she has a bright light. Lydia says her mom also said that Shannon was also a lost soul. Shannon says she’s done.

Next time, more Peggy, Shannon works out, Kelly and Shannon see each other again, and Shannon gets out of control at a restaurant called The Quiet Woman.

🐮 Love, love, love Sweet Home Oklahoma. Tamra should look to Pumps as a great example of a Christian. This week, when replacing Jennifer’s shoes with Pumps’s Crocs proved too ambitious, Pumps TP’d her house. Jennifer consulted a pet psychic about Tubbers, and the girls went to a Pride parade. And they gave me a couple of good quotes.

We support all the letters. – Jennifer

It’s more fun to be a non-practicing lesbian for a day with Pumps, than go on a blind date from a dating app. – Lee

SweetHomeOklahomaTubbers

Tubbers – glamour shot

 

July 10, 2017 – Good News Bad News in PC, a Reunion with Charm Begins, the OC Wives are Back & Oklahoma Returns

Standard

What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Nina reads over the Man Landers interview. She says too bad Man Landers is a fraud and fictional. She looks at her rings, and says that doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

Everyone is watching the fireworks grand finale at the MetroCourt. Sonny’s phone rings. He tells Carly that Avery’s nanny just showed up, and no one is at her house. Carly wonders if there was something lost in the translation, but he says Josslyn isn’t home.

Josslyn is still with Oscar on the footbridge. He says he needed a break from everything, and she’s the only one he wanted to talk to. She tells him how happy she was to get his text. She suddenly sees the time, and says the nanny is probably there already. Carly calls, but she lets it go to voicemail. Carly texts where are you? and Josslyn says she’s going to be killed.

Carly asks Sonny, what if something is really wrong? What if there was an accident? Sonny says they’ll say their good-bys, and he’ll drive her home.

Oscar offers to take the heat, but Josslyn says it’s her fault. She knew what she was doing. She tells him that it’s the first time she’s felt normal in a long time. Oscar says him too.

Sonny tells Olivia that there’s a problem with the nanny and Avery, and they have to go. He asks to talk to Olivia privately. He tells her that she deserves everything, and he’s glad she found it; Ned is a lucky man. They watch Charlotte laughing with Dante and Laura. She says they didn’t do too badly. it’s been a wild ride, but she wouldn’t change a thing. Before he leaves, Sonny tells Ned to take good care of her.

Michael tells Nelle don’t even think his parents are leaving because of her. She says she wasn’t going to say that, she was going to tell him that she’s starving. She says that she appreciates him inviting her, and he thanks her for saying yes. They kiss.

Charlotte says it’s the best night ever, and she gets to stay up late. She talks about them being a family.

Nina needs a drink.

Monica makes a toast on behalf of the Quartermaines, welcoming Olivia to the family. Dillon says his mom can’t be there, but is in spirit – and in gift. He has Ned and Olivia hold up the glasses. Dillon says he’s the best man, but really Ned is – kind compassionate, and a legitimate rock star. He was worried that Ned was going to die a spinster. He wonders what the male equivalent is, but Ned says they get the point. Dillon thanks Olivia for being amazing, and bringing a smile back to Ned. He toasts to a lifetime of love and laughter for the couple.

Ned is honored that Olivia has decided to take his name. He says the first Mrs. Edward Quartermaine was a great and gracious lady, and can’t think of anyone better to follow in her footsteps.

Nina comes in, and Charlotte runs to her. Charlotte asks if she’s here for the wedding, but Nina says she didn’t know it was going on. Nina tells Olivia that she came by mistake; she just wanted a drink. They invite her to join the party.

Dillon announces Mr. and Mrs. Edward Quartermaine, and they have their first dance. There’s a song part, but hopefully no one gets busy on the dance floor. Nina asks Charlotte if she likes where she’s living, and Charlotte says it’s been really good. She wishes her father would come back though, so the three of them can be family. Nelle and Michael tell Charlotte what a wonderful flower girl she was, and Nelle thanks Nina for the dress. They take the dance floor. Charlotte asks Nina if she’s going to dance. She says she has to go, but she’s glad to see Charlotte.

Josslyn asks Carly how the wedding was, and Carly says great, until they found out she wasn’t there. Josslyn says she just stepped out for a moment, and acts like she never got the call or text. Stupid phone!

Dante tells Charlotte that he usually dances with Lulu, but she’s not there right now, so would she dance with him? She says her poppa taught her, and they dance with her feet on his. Nina watches for a moment, downs some more of her drink, and leaves. Doc walks in and surprises Laura, who thought he was working. He says when he went home to change he realized he was missing something – her grandson.

Carly tells Josslyn they need to talk. Josslyn says she told Carly she was sorry, Avery is fine, what else is there? Carly wants to know where she was.

Doc shows Laura a text. Spencer has gone to get proof of his inheritance, and will see them on the flipside. Doc wonders where Spencer would go, and Laura asks if he feels like taking a boat ride.

Josslyn tells Carly that she was going crazy, while her friends were out doing what they wanted. Carly says maybe her friends didn’t have a party with boys and alcohol. She just wants Josslyn to be honest, and Josslyn says she went for a walk, alone, and lost track of time. She wonders if she’s going to be grounded for life now, and says Carly makes the same mistakes over and over again, and calls it true love.

Ned tells the guests that their hearts are full, and Olivia seconds that. They tell everyone how much they love them, and Olivia gets ready to throw the bouquet. Charlotte makes Nelle join them, and Kiki grabs Monica. Kiki catches the bouquet, and quickly hands it to Charlotte when she sees Dillon looking at her.

Nina goes to Windemere. She asks if anyone is there, but it looks desolate. She thinks about Christmas, and tells herself to get her things and get out. Spencer walks in. She asks what he’s doing there, and says he scared her. He says he thought no one was home. She tells him that she’s staying at the MetroCourt, but came to get her things. He says her timing is perfect; now he can have a witness. He found a locked box under his father’s bed, and thinks it might be the answer to the true will.

Laura and Doc come in, looking for Spencer. Laura apologizes to Nina; she can’t believe this is happening again. Spencer says he sent a text, and Laura says he can text her when he’s eighteen. He tells her about the box. She says it’s become an obsession, and tells him put it down; they’re going home. Doc thinks he should open it – with Nina’s permission – or they’ll never hear the end of it. Spencer picks the lock, having learned it in boarding school, and Doc says money well spent. Spencer takes out a document, but it’s in Greek. Doc has a passing knowledge of the language, and says that it’s the last will and testament of Mikkos Cassadine.

Carly says that Josslyn will make mistakes, that’s what being an adult is all about. She tells Josslyn that she made even worse mistakes when she was young. Josslyn asks if that makes her smarter, and Carly tells her that she never said she was smarter, but she’s more experienced. She says what she knows for sure, is that she wants Josslyn to make better decisions than she did. Josslyn says what about Sonny, and Carly says not everything is about him. She says that Josslyn’s feelings are hers, but what she does affects all of them. Josslyn asks why Carly gets a free pass. Sonny walks in, and surprises her by saying she’s right.

Spencer says this is the real will, but Doc tells him that it’s just a copy of the one leaving everything to Valentin. Laura says he has to face the truth, and Spencer quotes Hamlet. Laura says they’re performing it at Lila’s Kids. Spencer tells them that he plays the prince whose father was killed by his uncle, and asks if they see a parallel. Nina says she’s sorry, and he shouldn’t be expected to understand. She says she’ll make sure that he can come to Windemere whenever he wants, and even ride her horse. Laura says he has a home with her and Doc, and it’s time to go there. She apologizes for the intrusion, but Nina understands.

Dante thanks Olivia for an amazing life. Everything she did was for him and it’s finally her time. He wants her to enjoy it. She tells him that he’s the best gift she’s ever been given, and he’s the favor to her; she wouldn’t change anything. She says he’s the best son anyone could want, and she found the man of her dreams when she was ready to be with him. They hug. Dante tells Ned to take care of her.

Ned asks if she’s ready to do this, and Olivia says lead the way. Everyone blows bubbles at the happy couple, and they get in the elevator and kiss.

Sonny says he gets that Josslyn is upset, and Josslyn says upset is an understatement. Sonny tells her that he messed up, did something terrible to her dad, and she hates him. He says someone does something to his family, and he wants to retaliate, but Josslyn tells him not to pretend they’re alike. She says she used to look up to him. He insists it’s different now, but he knows she won’t believe it until he proves it. He can’t take back what he did, but doesn’t want her punishing Carly for something that’s his fault.

At the Crimson office, Nelle tells Michael that she doesn’t want to return the dress. He offers to buy it for her, but she says it belongs to the designer, and her coach is turning back into a pumpkin. He says Cinderella has nothing on her. She asks if he had fun, and he says the night isn’t over. She says it is for her shoes, and he asks if she wants to keep them on longer, and kisses her. I don’t want to know.

Ned brings Olivia to their honeymoon suite. The bed is covered with rose petals. He says he’s the luckiest man on the planet, and Olivia says she’s the lucky one. They get busy.

Nina wanders around, picking up a sweater, and putting it on. She wonders if Valentin is even alive, and says she misses him. She lies down on the sofa.

Dante answers the phone. He tells them to say it again, adding that it’s not possible. Hmm… Valentin has escaped? Or made to disappear?

Sonny appreciates Josslyn hearing him out, and hopes she forgives him one day. Carly says to leave Avery there, since she’s asleep. She apologizes for the night ending the way it did, and thanks Sonny for being open with Josslyn. He asks if she thinks it’s working, and Carly says to give her time; she’ll come around.

Josslyn gets a text from Oscar asking if she’s okay. She says she is now.

Nelle and Michael get busy. In the office. She says they should probably stop, but they don’t. Olivia and Ned are also still getting busy. The song part covers both couples.

Spencer is on the footbridge. Laura says it’s late they should go, but he wants to be alone with his thoughts. Laura and Doc wait in the car. Spencer says the law may be on Valentin’s side, but he doesn’t care. No matter where he is, no matter how long it takes, Spencer will fight for his inheritance, and claim what’s his. He tears up the will, and throws it into the water.

Lulu asks Dante if everything is okay. He says fine. Lulu is bummed she missed the wedding, and he says they have to talk. Geez, they’re not even trying to hide Emme Rylan‘s (Lulu) pregnancy anymore. Dante tells her that it’s bad news.

Nina sleeps. The door opens. Someone stands next to her. She sits up and says, OMG.

Tomorrow, Anna and Andre talk, Lulu asks how this happened, and Obrecht asks if she’s going to be burned at the stake or drawn and quartered.

Southern Charm – Reunion Part One

Considering we left the season on a really weird note – for one thing, Landon sticking up for Kathryn – this should be interesting.

OMG – Kathryn’s dress!  It’s a red lace confection with bows everywhere, and looks amazing with her red hair. It’s one of those things that not everyone could pull off, but I love it on her. I’d add a little Steampunk to it though.

First, we find out that Craig has passed the bar. (Cue the fireworks, marching band, and flags.) He wonders what they’ll talk about now. Cameran’s pregnancy – it’s a girl! – is discussed. She talks about the rocky road to mentally get there, but says it happened so quickly, her husband asked if she was cheating. She thinks it’s weird, and that she won’t get attached until the baby is in her hands.

Andy asks if Craig has always been a hobbyist. Craig talks about taking home-ec in school. I didn’t know those classes still existed, but I’m impressed. Shep thinks Craig might go into gardening law. Ha-ha! Craig’s fudging about taking the bar is discussed. Craig says in his head, he always thought he’d fix it before anyone found out. He says that Shep was more berating this year, but Shep says that he wants everyone to succeed, and doesn’t know how to handle these things. He didn’t want to rain on Craig’s parade, but didn’t know he was in the middle of one. Craig says that Shep is a huge parade rainer. We move to some insults from Thomas, and Cameran calls Craig girly, but in a good way. Craig as mediator is brought up. Shep says he can never say what he needs to, and Craig says that’s because Shep doesn’t let him talk.

Andy brings up Naomie’s distain for Craig’s meddling. Craig says Naomie acted like he had no good traits. He didn’t understand why she was with him, but Shep thinks a significant other should give you a hard time.

Commercial break – Valerian looks amazing! Huge strange monsters, lots of morphing, and girls kicking ass. I’m in.

Andy calls Craig a jack of all trades, and master of none. I’m not sure why, since he wasn’t a big flop with that onesie. He says that Craig hasn’t mastered relationships either, and Naomie is brought out. They talk about how they met, and how long it took them to actually go out. The cheese vs. oral sex debate is discussed, and Andy wonders what’s wrong that Craig likes cheese better. Naomie says she might answer the same way. Go cheese!

We move on to their fights, and watch some clips. Bleepity-bleep-bleep-bleep. Craig says fighting with her was the worst, and he has no explanation. Shep points out that she wasn’t airing laundry, but voicing concerns, but Craig took it as a betrayal. Shep thinks Craig wants secrecy, not loyalty. Naomie says he’d told her everything before they started dating. She says Craig wants a ride or die girl, but she wants to know where they’re riding and why they have to die. That’s actually quite interesting, since it does seem like people are one way or the other – either they’ll back you up no matter what, or you have to field a million questions and write an essay as to why you need them to have your back. Naomie doesn’t regret showing the world that relationships aren’t perfect. She thinks pretending that they are makes other people feel inadequate.

Andy was impressed with Kathryn’s advice to Naomie. Kathryn says if she had it to do over again, she would have kept more things private. She says the others didn’t know her, and took her for a gold-digger. Landon says she never wanted to be involved, but Kathryn says she involved herself by talking about it. Oh man, I know exactly how she feels. I hate when people insert themselves in your business, and then act like you’re the one who put them there. Andy throws it back to Craig and Naomie, and asks if they were close to breaking up. Craig says they hit rock bottom after the show, but started talking, and went back to basics. Naomie says it’s better, but it’s a process. Andy tells them good luck, and Naomie exits.

Austen is up next. Andy asks if he’s ever mistaken for Shep (he is), and how he’s different. Austen says he’s a hopeless romantic. (Or maybe just hopeless. BA-DUM-CHH!) Thomas says that he and Shep suffer from ABC – Aging Bachelor Condition. He thinks Shep is more mean and sarcastic than Austen is. Austen informs us that the beer company he was working for wanted him to move to Savannah, so he left the job. That might have been interesting; he could have crossed over to the other show. Andy tells him that the world is his. Austen’s late sister is mentioned, and everything gets serious. He says the response was overwhelming, and his parents were very touched. Andy asks if it was scary to share it on camera, and Austen says to have a level of vulnerability is important in a relationship, but he thought hard about it. A viewer says that Chelsea is like the guy in the relationship, and Cameran says she loved every bit of it, and how Austen pursued Chelsea. She talks about how at first, she’d thought Chelsea was right for Shep.

Shep tells everyone about his new beach house. Andy asks if he’s going out less, and he says he’ll hang out at the beach, but the bars close earlier. When he was in Charleston, he would invite everyone from the bars to his house rooftop after closing time. Andy moves on to Shep’s health issues, and Shep says that Charleston is a big drinking town. We see the clip of Shep in yoga class, where he declares it’s like a sobriety test. He says he didn’t know you weren’t supposed to talk in class. Andy thinks he was only scared straight for a short time. Cameran says he gets to an angry point when he drinks, and Craig thinks he’s really angry at himself. Kathryn agrees. Shep hates that he doesn’t have self-control, and hits the point where anything seems like a good idea. We see the clip from when Cameran found Shep sleeping at noon, the morning he was supposed to meet her. He says he was embarrassed, and it was tough to look at. He chose to be honest and open, and hopes to change a little.

Time for Kathryn to duck. Andy says she seems like a different person. She says she’s been sober for eight months, despite tabloid fodder to the contrary. They talk about the last reunion, which she describes as a constant panic attack. She explains how she ended up in rehab. She says she was critical of herself, and it drove her to self-medicate. She didn’t realize how cruel the world could be, and a lot of the dynamics that exist in relationship. Andy asks why she didn’t own up to failing a drug test. She tells him that it was supposed to be private, but someone leaked it to the press. Landon says she read it on the internet, and is tired of being called a liar. (What’s really funny here is, the spellcheck changed that to lawyer.) So I guess she’s the one who leaked it, and probably found out from Thomas. Andy says he thought he’d read it before the reunion, and Kathryn says that legally, no one should have known. Landon doesn’t understand what she might have ever said that was so bad about Kathryn, and Kathryn brings up her suggestion that she get shock treatment. Landon is like, oh yeah, that, and tries to justify it, but ends up apologizing.

Andy stirs the pot, asking Landon about implying that Kathryn was looking for a rich boyfriend when she went to rehab. Landon says she’s allowed an opinion. We go back to the last reunion, where Kathryn was accused of not taking a drug test, and Kathryn says that she always took one when required. They talk about the margarita she ordered on vacation (please), and Kathryn says she never even took a sip of it, and anyway, she was in rehab for weed. Having worked in the business end of Al-Anon, in that case, she’d be discouraged from drinking, but it wouldn’t be a no. Kathryn says she used marijuana to detach from reality, and chose to stop drinking to show her commitment.

They talk about the modeling shoot, and how Kensie didn’t want to leave Kathryn. Yeah, let’s make everyone cry. Kathryn says it broke her heart that she’d been so careless to make mistakes that hurt her children. She starts to cry, and Craig gives her a hanky. Okay, maybe there are more people than Dr. Phil who use them. Andy asks about Kathryn’s support system, and she says it’s difficult to trust people. Charleston is small, and everything gets around. She says she’d started to question everyone and everything. Landon starts to cry, not being able to imagine that, and saying that Kathryn must be lonely. Kathryn says she plays close to the vest because she can’t afford disloyalty. She says she wasn’t always like that, but had a friend who gave a distorted perception of her in court. No surprise, it’s Jennifer. The next pony to join the show.

Andy asks about Ascher, who is doing well. Jennifer explains about the surgery that he needed to put his brain back into his skull when he was born. Yikes. She says he shouldn’t have progressed as far as he ha, and that every few months, it gets easier and more fun. Andy asks why it bothered Kathryn when Thomas gave Jennifer a hanky (another hanky clip!), and Kathryn says she looked at it as switched loyalty. She thought Jennifer valued his friendship over hers. Thomas talks about having a brother with Downs Syndrome, and that people were coming down on Jennifer to have an abortion. Jennifer says Kathryn is incorrect, but Kathryn says she didn’t tell the truth about her in court. Andy asks if it was the custody hearing, and if she testified against Kathryn. Jennifer says she’s not saying anything, but told the truth. Kathryn talks about how they’d been friends, and she’d said what a great father Thomas was, but never said anything about her. Jennifer says that Kathryn’s lawyer should have questioned her further, but Kathryn says Jennifer had already lost her credibility. Jennifer suggests that Kathryn look in the mirror. She says that Kathryn had questioned her son’s paternity, and Kathryn says that she’d heard it from someone else, and just talked to one person. Jennifer insists that Kathryn knew what she was doing. Andy asks if Kathryn spread a rumor that Thomas was the father of Jennifer’s child.

Kathryn says it wasn’t about spreading a rumor. She didn’t know if it could have been true. They were romantic in the past, and she doesn’t know Jennifer’s life now. She says she repeated something she’s heard, and shouldn’t have. She apologizes, adding that Jennifer has talked about her. She says Thomas spent the night at Jennifer’s house while Kathryn was still with him. Thomas says he spent the night on the couch, and only left to show Kathryn what it was like, since she’d been staying out all night. He says he’s been protecting her, but if they go to court, she’ll never work in this town again. If she keeps going on, it’s not going to be pretty.

Next time, Part Two – among topics discussed are Shep drunk at the airport, and Landon flirting with Austen; Craig and Shep argue; Andy calls them both drunk a-holes; and Chelsea joins the group.

The Real Housewives of the OC

Lydia is back, and there’s a new girl named Peggy. The taglines are decent, and I think Kelly’s is my favorite – If I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.

Shannon’s family has gotten a dog, Archie. Shannon says he wins the prize for misbehavior. It looks like he’s a Golden Retriever, so I identify. I had one that was incredibly sweet, but dumb as a box of rocks, and listened to nothing. Except the crinkle of a potato chip bag. Shannon is trying to lose weight, having gained thirty pounds, and not recognizing who she is anymore. She says stress over Vicki caused her to eat and drink more. Nice excuse! We see a clip of the last reunion, with Shannon screaming that her husband doesn’t beat her. It’s affected how she feels about herself, and she’s embarrassed of her body. She also thinks that David has been distant since the surprise vow renewal. She’s making quinoa, and feels badly when he doesn’t rave over it. My husband won’t even eat it.

Kelly visits Vicki at her office. The insurance company is expanding and moving to a bigger space. They talk about Tamra’s gym and the fitness competition she was in. Vicki hasn’t heard from her since Tamra accused her of being a con-artist and said she was old. Kelly agrees that Vicki wasn’t treated well, and thinks she’s owed an apology. She says they just want to fight. Vicki says that they’re not the popular girls, and they’re jealous. Kelly says she doesn’t care about popularity, but Vicki says she does. Funny. Both POVs are obvious.

Tamra says she’s closer to her faith after everything she’s gone through with Vicki. Lydia has invited her to Bible study, and she says it’s just what she’s looking for. Lydia asks if Tamra still hangs out with everyone. Tamra tells her that Heather is super busy, and she still hasn’t seen the inside of the new house. She hasn’t talked to Vicki since the reunion, but we already knew that. Lydia brings up the Mexico trip, and Tamra says it feels like forever ago. She says it got weird, and Vicki was spreading rumors that Eddie was gay. She says it’s not true, but still hurtful. Tamra says that Vicki also told Kelly, who’s another hot mess. She says Vicki doesn’t understand why she cares, since it’s just a rumor. Lydia thinks they should all go to lunch, but Tamra says she’ll pray about it. That’s Christianese for I’m blowing you off.

Meghan has a baby girl, Aspen. Aw, she’s all cranky, but Meghan gets a smile out of her. They also have a puppy, Girly Girl. Meghan says that after the baby was born, she just wanted to take a long nap, but couldn’t, and it’s been like that ever since. We go down Memory Lane with the IVF thing. She also lost her baby weight quickly, but her boobs are humongous. Jimmy is actually into taking care of the baby, which surprises Meghan – and me. He tells Meghan that shoes are stupid on a baby, but she says she wants to dress her like a doll. He has a point, but dressing them up is the fun part.

Lydia begins with prayer. They’re studying the story of Lazarus in John 11. She asks if anyone has ever felt abandoned by God. Tamra starts to tear up about the situation with her daughter. She says that she can only put it out of her mind for so long, but knows God has a plan for her and Sydney. She hasn’t seen her daughter in three and a half years, but says it’s getting better; they’re texting. Everyone agrees that it’s a glimmer of hope, and Lydia prays for them. Tamra is grateful for a safe place to put her feelings out there with other women of faith.

Vicki’s new boyfriend, Steve, brings her roses. She misses Brooks, and in her interview, says they had a great relationship despite what people think, but she’d never go back to that. She opens up some cocktail sauce and gets it all over Steve’s white shirt, which is why I never wear white. Steve is a retired detective, and Vicki says she always knows what he’s up to, as opposed to Brooks who was a sneak. They talk about everyone having baggage. Vicki says if he breaks her heart, she won’t forgive him. In her interview, she says she doesn’t want to waste any more time.

Kelly is getting ready to go to a birthday party, and discusses vaginal rejuvenation with her mom, Bobbi. She asks if her mother would be interested, and gets a no. She asks if her mom doesn’t want to date again, and Bobbi says she goes to Starbuck’s when she’s bored. She tells Kelly not to push her. In her interview, Kelly says she’s trying to work out her own relationship with husband Michael, but it feels like he’s attached to her at the hip. Kelly tells a dirty joke, and maybe I’m getting old too, because I had to think about it for a while before I got it.

Commercial break – The Real Housewives of Dallas returns Monday, August 14th @ 10 pm.

Vicki brings her grandsons back to Briana’s house. Vicki tells them that she’ll take them swimming tomorrow. Ryan is still in Oklahoma waiting on paperwork for his medical retirement. Briana feels guilty for leaving, and says it’s hard having toddlers with him being so far away. Vicki tries to pick up the slack and likes feeling needed. Everyone likes Steve, and Briana asks if they’re getting married. She says it’s nice to like her mother’s boyfriend for once – and he has a job and doesn’t hit on her. Vicki says she wants to make sure it’s right. Briana tells us that her life is farts and superheroes.

Tamra works out on the machines at the gym. Eddie joins her. He just came from teaching a class. Tamra says her relationship with him is great – when he’s not being gay. Ha-ha! She doesn’t like the mural in the workout room, but says Eddie has totally taken over, and now she just does the sh*it work. She tells Eddie about the Bible study, and how Lydia thinks she should have lunch with Vicki. Eddie isn’t too receptive to that. Tamra says when someone lies about their own life, they’ll lie about yours.

Lydia and her husband are teaching son Maverick to ride a bike. She tells him to believe in himself and practice. She has three boys now; Sterling and Roman round out the trio. She says it’s overwhelming and a lot of work. She can’t wait to see her kids, but then it’s bedlam the second she walks in the door, and she wants to run. They’ve moved to Newport Beach, so her mom isn’t across the street anymore. In her interview, Lydia explains that her mom is also on a new level with weed being legal now. They take Maverick to a park to practice, and we see pictures of their ten-year vow renewal. Maverick takes a spill, and his father asks him what a ninja warrior would do. Maverick gets back on and rides. Lydia says she’s a lot stronger now, knows who she is, and is happy with it.

Shannon and daughter Sophie are going shopping for Sophie’s formal. Tamra joins them with niece Casey, who’s also looking for a dress. In her interview, Tamra says it’s been hard not being able to shop with Sydney, and holidays aren’t the same. We hear that a million dresses are “cute,” and Shannon vetoes a revealing dress for Sophie.

While the girls are trying things on, Shannon talks to Tamra about losing weight. She says she hates exercising, and Tamra thinks she lacks motivation. Shannon blames the weight gain on Vicki, but in her interview, Tamra doesn’t think her stress is just about that. She thinks Shannon isn’t over the affair.

Lydia meets Vicki for lunch. Vicki says she’ll take Lydia over someone who wants to steal her joy. She points out that Tamra was baptized in the pool there. In her interview, Lydia calls herself the friendship whisperer, and says that she thinks she can bring everyone back together. Lydia tells Vicki that she reminded Tamra about their friendship on the Mexico trip, and says Tamra claims Vicki is going around saying that Eddie is gay. Vicki says Tamra called her a con-artist, and asks if you fight back or fold. Lydia thinks that they hurt one another because they love one another. Vicki says Tamra has her own secrets she doesn’t want found out, and wonders if Tamra hates her that much. Lydia realizes there’s a lot more going on than she thought. Vicki says she’s tired of them being bullies. They have to be nice to her or she’s not going to be nice.

Next time, Michael drives like a lunatic, we meet Peggy, and Shannon argues with Lydia. Hmm.. that seems to be a pattern with Shannon – arguing with the newest person.

🐮 Sweet Home Oklahoma is back! Tubbers! Pumps! Short interviews with random locals! I love this show so much. The cast is intrinsically funny, and seem genuinely good-hearted. I’m not a warm and fuzzy person, and this isn’t necessarily a warm and fuzzy show (except for Tubbers), but it’s one of the few reality shows that leaves you feeling good. In one of the back-to-back episodes tonight, Pumps won a meat eating contest and said she was “meat drunk.” I could understand this, since I visited a friend in Oklahoma once. I loved the atmosphere and the people, but everything was beef with a side of beef. Next time, the girls TP a house.

Tonight’s Best Quote

We’re living the dream – one man bun at a time. Jennifer, Sweet Home Oklahoma

Sweet Home Oklahoma Jennifer and Josh Welch Credit: Tommy Garcia/Bravo

Jennifer & Josh, wearer of the Man Bun

June 28, 2017 – A Return from Puerto Rico, NYC Goes to Vermont, a Few Cooking Quickies & Observations

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Bobbie calls Dante and tells him that Ava has improved. He says he’ll be by for an interview.

Ava refuses to drink her breakfast smoothie. Julian tells the nurse that she’d prefer a dry martini, but he’ll get her to drink it. He says things are looking up for the both of them.

Laura and Spencer meet with Alexis at Kelly’s. Spencer asks Alexis to be his attorney, but she doesn’t think she’s the right one. She says his father is her nephew, and whether she likes it or not, Valentin is her cousin, and it’s a conflict of interest. Spencer thinks it’s actually an advantage, and says the three of them will be unstoppable. The only thing Valentin will be left with is his name.

Lulu and Dante take Charlotte to the Quartermaine mansion. She says it reminds her of the place she lived with papa and Nina. Lulu says she knows Charlotte misses him. Charlotte says doesn’t want him just in her heart and asks when he’s coming home.

Sonny tells Carly he’s going to make it happen, and she says she almost believes it. They exchange I love yous and kiss. Zzzzz…

On the phone with Trina, Josslyn says for all she knows, her grandmother told her mom. Carly comes in, and says she has to talk to Josslyn about something. Josslyn flashes back to Bobbie breaking up the party, and says grandma must have told Carly what she did.

Lulu says they just don’t have the answers to Charlotte’s questions right now. She tells Charlotte that Olivia-F has a surprise for her. Charlotte asks if her papa is ever coming home.

Laura thought it might be better for Spencer to hear directly from a lawyer, and he wanted to see Alexis first thing in the morning, rather than going to camp. Spencer has no interest in participating in camp – it’s Daybreak with Dad today. He says it’s trite. Any activity with his father was fun, but it would only remind him of what Valentin stole. Alexis says she’s sorry, but Spencer refuses to wallow in self-pity. He’s going to take action against the man who murdered his father.

Julian makes Ava take a sip. She wonders what he meant by things looking up. Julian says Olivia let him see Leo, and he’s starting to make up for lost time. Ava says Leo probably won’t remember him not being there. He says he also saw Alexis last night. Ava thinks whatever happens with Leo and Alexis, it might not matter, and asks if he knows something she doesn’t. He says he’s going to fight, and thinks she should too.

Josslyn tells Carly that grandma is making a big deal out of nothing. Carly says she hasn’t talked to her yet, and Josslyn says never mind; she has to go. She says it was just a misunderstanding. Carly asks what kind, and Josslyn makes something up about not calling Bobbie when she was supposed to. She goes upstairs, and Carly finds a bottle under the table. Yellow Sun? What is that? I’m pretty sure it’s nothing I’d drink.

Spencer tells Alexis that they need to find a legal way to wrest Windemere from its current owner, and give it back to its rightful proprietor – him. Alexis says she thought they could, but they can’t.

Lulu asks why Charlotte would think Valentin isn’t coming back, and Charlotte says they blow her off every time she asks about her papa. Lulu says she’s smart, and they have been avoiding the subject. Her papa is going to be gone a long time, but they don’t know how long. Dante says the bride is coming in, and Olivia enters in a bridal gown and veil. I love it, but she says it’s a disaster. It’s a family heirloom, and four Falconari women wore it, but she’s refusing. Charlotte says she looks like a fairy godmother. Olivia says she’s not, but close; she’s Leo’s mother and Rocco’s grandmother. Charlotte says she’s too young to be a grandmother, which endears her to Olivia’s heart forever. Lulu says Olivia is also Charlotte’s step-grandmother, and. Olivia says to call her Nona.

Ava says if Julian thinks he can fight his way to an acquittal, great, but she has no interest in fighting against what she deserves. He says right now she’s bummed because she’s not well. She says she’s hurt so many people. Kiki is torn between loving and hating her, and can’t walk away while she’s like this. It would be easier if she was in prison and Kiki could forget. As long as she’s there, Kiki will feel obligated. Julian says she’s not an obligation to anyone, and eventually Kiki will understand and forgive her. He tells her to think about Avery.

Josslyn comes back downstairs. Carly stops her and asks what the bottle was doing under the couch, and if it’s what she thought was no big deal. Josslyn tries to pretend it was Bobbie’s, but Carly says to show her some respect, and asks what happened in the house. She says otherwise, she’ll call Bobbie, then drag Josslyn back home from camp. Josslyn says she kind of had a party, but it was tiny and hardly anyone was there. Carly asks if it included boys, and Josslyn says yes. Carly asks about alcohol, and Josslyn admits there were wine coolers.

Alexis tells Spencer that she’s gone over all the documents, but everything was left to Valentin. Spencer says it should be taken away from him. Laura says they have to abide by the court’s decision. Spencer tells her that Alexis is the best attorney in the country, and they need to buck the system. He asks if she can’t find a loophole, but she says Valentin owns it all until he dies. Spencer asks what happens when Valentin meets his mortal coil? Does Charlotte get his home? Alexis says, probably.

Olivia says she needs all the help she can get. She needs to find a new dress, and asks if Charlotte and Lulu can help. Charlotte asks if her grandparents won’t be disappointed. Olivia says they’re in heaven, but will be happy with whatever she chooses. Lulu reminds her about Charlotte’s surprise, and Olivia says don’t move. So far, Charlotte is impressed with Olivia.

Josslyn tells Carly that it wasn’t a big deal. She didn’t plan on it. Trina showed up, and brought people from school and alcohol, and before she knew it, the kids were in the hot tub. She wasn’t the one who wanted it, and almost called it off. She says that she stayed inside, and Carly asks if she was alone. Josslyn says not exactly. She stayed inside, but not by herself. Carly asks if she was with a boy.

Bobbie sees Sonny at the hospital. She asks if he and Carly got things straightened out. Sonny says there were a few surprises, but it’s been taken care of. Bobbie says so his only business with her daughter now is finalizing the divorce.

Julian tells Ava that Avery needs her mother, but Ava says she’s the last thing Avery needs. She’s going to confess. She’s going to spare Kiki the unwanted publicity and pain of testifying, and accept whatever punishment she gets.

Charlotte marvels at how many relatives she has. Olivia comes back in street clothes, and fusses over Charlotte some more. She tells Charlotte that Leo and Rocco are going to be ringbearers, and asks if she’d like to be the flower girl. Charlotte says she’d love to.

Spencer says, so when Valentin dies, Windemere becomes Charlotte’s? Alexis hasn’t seen his will, but assumes so. Spencer says there’s got to be something they can do. Alexis says if he dies, she might be able to argue that Spencer’s claim supersedes Charlotte’s, but it’s a long shot. Spencer has faith in her, but says Valentin isn’t that old… unless he meets an untimely death in prison. He asks how is it that he has to wait so long for something he shared with his father?

Josslyn tells Carly that she was with a boy, but they were only talking. He’s sensitive, sweet, and understanding – the opposite of Sonny. Carly asks if they were drinking, and Josslyn says she just had a few sips when Bobbie came in and shut things down. She repeats that it wasn’t a big deal, and Carly tells her to stop saying that. What if someone got hurt or someone called the police? Josslyn says they didn’t, and Carly says there are going to be serious consequences to her bad choices. Josslyn asks what about Carly’s?

Bobbie asks Sonny if they’re still going through with the divorce, and Sonny tells her to talk to Carly. She says that she will.

Julian tells Ava that he felt just like her, but it’s the easy way out. She asks what he thinks she should do, and he says make amends with everyone she hurt, but don’t confess. She says either way, she’s going to prison. Julian asks what they have on her, and she says Lucy’s testimony. He says she’s not reliable, and Ava says there’s Scotty too; he knows everything. Julian says he’s also her lawyer and can’t testify against her. She tells Julian that nothing he says can change her mind.

Sonny walks in, and Julian asks what he’s doing there. Sonny says he’s seeing Ava, and Julian says he thought there might be some gratitude for the warning he gave to Jason. Sonny says thanks for the heads up, and Julian tells him not to go overboard. Sonny says he’s had a change made in the custody order.

Alexis’s phone rings and she steps away to take the call. Laura tells Spencer that she’s sorry. He wants to go home – to Windemere. He misses pizza on the parapet. He says it’s not the same; he’s lost so much. Laura says it hurts, but it’s just a house. His dad doesn’t live there anymore, but lives in their hearts. Spencer is the very best of his father. If he listens closely, he’ll still be able to hear his voice. He can even ask questions and hear the answers. His father will never be gone because he lives on inside of him.

Chandler from Windemere comes in. He’s taking second job as Spencer’s driver. Laura says had to close Spencer’s Uber account, thinking it was better to have a driver who knows where he can go and where he should be. Spencer decides to go to camp. He says he’s fine now, thanks to Laura. He leaves with Chandler. Alexis comes back to the table, and asks if Spencer is all right.

Spencer asks Chandler if they can make a quick stop.

Carly tells Josslyn not to make it worse. Josslyn asks if she’s being punished for speaking the truth, and asks if Carly and Sonny were getting back together all along. Carly says she’s the one who had party and lied. Josslyn tells Carly that maybe she wanted to get her mind off of her dysfunctional family. Carly is like, come on, but Josslyn says everything is so screwed up between Carly, Sonny, and Morgan; maybe she wanted to forget about it. Carly says having a party isn’t the way to deal with it, and tells her to go upstairs until she figures out how to handle it. She makes Josslyn hand over her phone.

Bobbie comes in, and Carly yells at her for not saying anything. Bobbie says she didn’t know they were back until she saw Sonny, and then she came home immediately. Carly asks how bad it was and if Josslyn was drunk. Bobbie says no, and Oscar seemed harmless, unlike Trina’s friends, who she thinks are inappropriate. Carly says no more sleepovers. She didn’t know how upset Josslyn was, and had no idea she’d act out like that. Omg, you’d think she shot heroin.

Sonny is asking for full custody with Avery. Julian calls him a piece of work. Sonny says Ava took advantage of their agreement when he was in the wheelchair, and he’s returning the favor. He says he can’t bring Morgan back, but he can protect Avery. Julian says the silver lining is that Sonny is getting a divorce, and Carly won’t be part of her life anymore. Sonny tells him wrong again; they’re staying together, and Carly will be the only mother Avery knows. Julian tells Sonny to get out. Sonny leaves the paperwork.

Julian tells Ava that he’s sorry, and Ava says it’s not his fault. He says that doesn’t mean she should stop fighting. She asks him to leave her alone for a while, and he tells her not to give up. Whoa. Wait a second. Why is Sonny allowed to leave and unsterile folder with papers there? They also seem a little loosey-goosey about how much the visitors are covered-up.

Alexis tells Laura that she’s sorry all she could offer was a dead end. Laura says Spencer needed to hear it from her, and thanks her for meeting with them. She says she can’t shake the feeling that Spencer won’t give up, but Alexis says there’s nothing they can do. Laura says they know that, but does Spencer?

Dante comes to Ava’s room. He asks how she is, but she tells him that pleasantries aren’t necessary. He says he has questions to ask her about his brother’s death.

Spencer meets Sonny at Puzzulo’s. He has a business matter to discuss. Sonny asks what kind, and he says he wants Sonny to eliminate Valentin Cassadine.

Bobbie tells Carly that Sonny wouldn’t talk about the trip, and said to ask her, so she’s asking. Carly says it was more than business. She and Sonny have decided to get back together. Bobbie sits there, open-mouthed, and Josslyn overhears.

Tomorrow, Sonny asks Spencer if he knows what he’s asking, Scotty asks if Ava sent him down the river, and Bobbie wants justice.

The Real Housewives of New York City  

Bethenny is meeting the ladies at an Italian restaurant in the Bronx. She wants to break them out of Manhattan. She says it feels like 1950, and told them to dress accordingly. Dorinda says it feels like home. She’s hungover, but thinks a big bowl of Bolognese is the answer. She orders a bloody Mary and says keep them coming, and Luann says it’s noon somewhere. Bethenny calls it a salty broad kind of area. In her interview, she says Tinsley sticks out like a sore thumb, but Carole is a close second, looking like a zookeeper. She tells us that the only one who got the memo was Dorinda, who showed up wasted. Omg, the pizza looks incredible.

Bethenny wants the group to go on a ski trip to Vermont. Sonja says she used to be a good skier, but she hasn’t gone in a long time, and wants an instructor. They talk about Ramona (who’s not there), and we flash back to her last altercation with Bethenny. Bethenny tells them that it said so much about Ramona. Dorinda thinks she was drunk, and Bethenny says it’s like truth serum. We flash back to Ramona talking smack about Sonja. Dorinda talks about Ramona’s business partner, who has apparently lied to a lot of people. Sonja pulls out her phone, and goes over some old texts that alluded to Dorinda wanting a Tipsy Girl brand. Dorinda says as usual, Sonja has to go backward. Dorinda gets loud, and Carole says this is her favorite part. Everyone is turning around and looking. Sonja insists that Dorinda wanted to do Tipsy Girl first, and Dorinda wants her to take it back. She walks around the table, imitating Sonja. After she sits back down, she does this thing with her hand, and keeps saying clip! There’s a question mark over my head, and Bethenny isn’t sure what that means either, but thinks it means STFU.

Dorinda says Sonja has no right to speak on her behalf. Bethenny says in all fairness, it was Ramona who belittled her. Dorinda starts getting teary, and Sonja brings up the Berkshires. Dorinda calls her an asswipe, and I laugh, since I don’t know if I’ve ever heard that term from an adult. Luann suggests having calamari. What no eggs a la Française? Bethenny apologizes to the other diners. One of them says Carole looks like Melania Trump. Luann tells him that’s a huge compliment because Carole loves Trump, and steers her away before she kills someone.

Tinsley sees her therapist. She says her biggest problem is that she can’t sleep, and when she does, she dreams of all the crap. She talks about her alcoholic father, who turned to drink after losing a business. She says after he died, she looked at things differently; he was a southern gentleman who didn’t deserve what he got in life. She says every guy she’s ever been close to is like her father, but they don’t understand the real world, and can sometimes end up like him. She isn’t an alcoholic, but is drinking too much to fall asleep. The therapist asks about her dreams. She talks about the fear of dying when she was arrested, and the character assassination afterward. In her interview, she says even though the charges were dropped, she still has to deal with it. She wants to feel like herself again, and the therapist suggests aiming for a better version of herself. He thinks she should set some goals, and tells her that if she can’t find innate value in herself, it’s going to be more challenging. Challenging being the new word for difficult to the point of being a real pita.

Luann meets Ramona and Sonja at a restaurant. She tells Ramona the Tipsy Girl thing came out at dinner. In her interview, Ramona says Sonja is stuck in the past. Interesting, since Ramona seems stuck in Bethenny’s past. Luann tells her about the Vermont trip, and asks if she’s in. In her interview, she says she usually only skis in Aspen. Oh, excuse me. Luann thinks Ramona is trying too hard, and should let Bethenny come to her. Which will be never. Sonja hopes she and Dorinda are okay. She talks about how Luann has known Dorinda longer, jokingly adding that they’re not so close they slept with the same guy, referring to her and Tom. No surprise, Luann doesn’t take it well, and reminds Sonja that Tom is her husband. Sonja says she thought she had “creative license,” whatever that means, and Luann says it’s been real. In her interview, she says she’s tired of apologizing for being herself. Luann tells her it’s not cool, which I guess makes it all, like, uncool.

Minions are dancing at the bottom of my TV screen. What the…? Advertising has gotten totally out of hand. And I thought the point of paying for cable was less advertising. The girls arrive at what Bethenny calls a Lincoln Log house. It’s huge, beautiful, and polished looking. She says she got a text from Ramona, who as usual is all over the place, saying blah-blah-blah about communication. Bethenny texted back that she really doesn’t want to be friends, but they can be cordial. Dorinda tells Bethenny that she thinks Ramona has regrets, and Bethenny says it’s too many things in too short of a time.

Bethenny wants to put the Mexico trip back on the schedule, and we flash back to when they almost went before she got sick. Hey, it’s Jules! Dorinda and Carole want to pick rooms before the others get there, and Dorinda realizes she forgot her luggage. Everything is still sitting in front of her house. In her interview, Carole says Dorinda is the gift that keeps on giving. Dorinda wants to call an Uber to pick up her stuff and take it from NYC to Vermont. I wonder what that costs. She spreads the everything in her purse on one of the beds to lay claim.

We hear Ramona before she even comes in, since she forgot to wear her snow boots. Oh Lord, it was a five-hour drive. I’d have walked before going with Ramona. Carole calls camel toe on Ramona, who asks what she wants after that long in the car. In her interview, Ramona says it’s awkward with Bethenny. I’ll bet.

The rest of the women pick out their bedrooms. Ramona starts complaining before she even sees anything. In her interview, Ramona says she and Sonja have a history, and they always share a room. Tinsley thinks they’re acting like it’s summer camp, and they need the best bunk. Sonja and Ramona talk about stealing Dorinda’s room, and Sonja says maybe she’ll forget which one she picked if she’s drinking.

Luann gets there last. Ramona grills Carole on why she didn’t suggest Dorinda take another room, like that was her job. She wails that Dorinda’s room has a double-sink. Ugh! I hate a double-sink. I have one in the upstairs bathroom, and it’s been nothing but a headache from day one. Luann has to take the last room downstairs, and feels like she’s being punished. Dorinda hears Ramona, and says if she’d gotten there earlier, she would have gotten the room she wanted. Sonja feels like Luann always wants her to kiss the ring.

Jan, the executive chef, arrives. Luann and Ramona play ping-pong, and Ramona bitches about Bethenny. Ramona insists that she would never be malicious, but Luann won’t go that far. We flash back to Ramona criticizing Luann to no end. Back in her room, Ramona orders Sonja to get her water. Sonja puts tap water in a bottle, and pretends it’s Evian, but Ramona says she’d rather have mountain water, since it tastes better. Sonja says she’ll get it then, waits a beat, then gives her the water she had in the first place.

Tinsley tells Bethenny she’s kind of boy crazy. Bethenny says she’s spent too much time in the Hamptons around gay men, but she’s dating again. Tinsley says she’s over WASPy guys. She also wants to figure out when she’s moving.

Dinner is served. Luann wakes Dorinda. Bethenny tells Luann about the trip to Mexico. Luann complains about her room. Her bathroom is down the hall. Oh, horrors! She thinks it should have been nicer because she just got married. Huh? She says she thinks the chef was using her bathroom, and in her interview, Carole jokes that Luann usually loves finding a random man in the bathroom.

The food looks amazing. I have to get some of this food I keep seeing on TV. Luann goes on and on about being married, and wants to get someone else in the group to get married. Tinsley volunteers. Luann says she definitely needs to find a man, but Sonja thinks she should get an apartment first. She says men want to see independent women. In her interview, Sonja claims that Tinsley’s biggest concern was her reputation, and going right to another guy looks like she’s repeating her mistakes. Dorinda tells Sonja just because someone lives with you doesn’t give you the right to run their life. Tinsley can’t believe Sonja is talking about her like she’s not there. Dorinda says that’s not a friend.

Tinsley says she thought she was sixteen, and now she’s five. She says she’s not needy, but she just came from an unhealthy relationship. She’s 41, and doesn’t have kids. Luann says she needs to love herself first. Tinsley feels pressured, and says everyone is telling her to get over it, but no one is giving her a chance. She talks about them going back to the past, but Dorinda says they don’t understand what chaos happens in the townhouse. Bethenny compares it to Tinsley’s last abusive relationship, saying that now she’s letting Sonja tell her what to do. In her interview, Bethenny says if you don’t like the rules, move out. Tinsley says it was a traumatic experience being in a physically and mentally abusive relationship. Bethenny says she went through the same thing, and Tinsley says it’s not the same thing because it wasn’t so public. After everyone picks their jaws up off the ground, Bethenny tells her to google it. In her interview, Tinsley insists no one understands.

Next time, the ladies do some skiing, John’s Johnson is discussed, Luann says she just got married, and suckerfish Jason Hoppy is arrested for stalksing.

🍳 MasterChef quickie. There was a shellfish mystery box, and the dishes all looked extraordinary and delicious. The elimination challenge was scrambled eggs. Gordon’s are a little creamy for my taste, but I did learn something about making them. You can too, along with the other thirty million people, on YouTube. One contestant said they’d never scrambled an egg before, so I felt proud of myself for half a second. Being under-seasoned was the main culprit of those who didn’t make it to the balcony, but those remaining got a do-over. Oddly enough, Heather went home for being too heavy-handed with the pepper. It must have hurt to be beaten by an egg (BA-DUM-CHH!), but it’s always the simplest things that can hang you up. It’s the little foxes who spoil the vine.

🍴 On The f Word, it was The Lords of the Lake – a bunch of friends who share a lake house – vs Miracle in the Kitchen – a family whose patriarch was the last one saved from the Miracle on the Hudson. Their task was making fried chicken, yam hash, and collard greens. The winners were Miracle in the Kitchen, by a small percentage. Gordon made tacos with Jaimie Alexander, and it was the first time a guest’s dish was preferred. Matt Jones got the record for fastest watermelon slicing (18 seconds and making uniform cubes), and got a certificate from the Guinness adjudicator, who looked amusingly serious.

Gordon also broke out his alter-ego, James, and went in disguise to a focus group about The f Word. One guy nearly outed Gordon, recognizing something about him, but everyone else exhibited the appropriate surprise. Rachel Bilson and Gordon had a race to see how many ice cream scoops they could get on a cone in 45 seconds, with Joe Manganiello timing them. Joe admitted his guilty pleasure was jelly beans, and he’s a foodie who enjoys chicken and waffles. He also played a food guessing game. When Gordon unveiled a Scottish mystery dish, I already knew it had to be haggis. It’s always haggis.

A Coupla Tidbits

🏝 Lydia McLaughlin is returning to The Real Housewives of the OC. I hope she brings along her weed smoking mother again. She’s a million times more interesting than Lydia.

💃 I half-watched Little Women: LA, and it looked like Briana was finally going to ditch that skeevy husband of hers. Then she didn’t.

🗺 I was going to post a picture of haggis, and I just couldn’t do it. So here’s a pretty picture of Scotland instead.

Scotland

June 11, 2017 – Victor Meets an Old Friend, Bermuda on the Potomac & Red Violet

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

Fear the Walking Dead

I’m desperately hoping we get to see Travis as a zombie.

We hear a voiceover telling us that the great American experiment has failed, and it’s time to start over. We see Jeremiah in a video, saying we need to be prepared. He’s advertising a video tape set that teaches one how to survive what he calls teotwawki or TE. But wait there’s more! You get a survival bucket at no extra cost. His tagline is, if you’re going to plan for a future, plan for a better one, as he and his family wave cheerily at the camera. That was actually fun to watch. They need more of that.

The settlers are having a meeting under a tent outdoors. A woman talks about losing a child because she thought she could fly, and jumped off the roof. Looking at Madison, she says her daughter’s life was risked for the unprepared. Madison gets up, offers condolences, and introduces Nick and Alicia. She says they’ve lost loved ones too. She says Travis was their compass, and thanks them for their generosity. Jake gets up and says grieving is hard, but they need to process it. Vernon says what they need to do is prepare. He wants to know why the helicopter fell. Jeremiah tells him that when they know what they’re dealing with, they’ll act. Jake says whatever threat it is, they’ll mete out justice when they get the details.

Alicia nearly gets in an argument with another settler, and tells them that they should be harassing Troy, not her family. Vernon’s daughter, Gretchen, apologizes for their loss, and asks if Alicia would like to join a Bible study. They also have a band. Alicia says they’re Jewish, but Gretchen says, cool, they’ll do the Old Testament. Well, that didn’t work.

Nick tells Luci that they’ll take the cuffs off soon, and she can see the place. She says she’s seen enough; she can’t forget what they did. As soon as she’s freed, they’ll go. Nick just wants them all to feel safe in one place. He says he had a chance to make that happen, to kill him. She says it wouldn’t have made them safe, and Nick isn’t a killer.

Madison finds Troy lolling about in a bunk. He says he likes the way she says Travis’s name, which is really, really weird. He asks what she did before, and she says she was a guidance counselor. He tells her that certain aspects of academia proved challenging, so he never went to high school. He says everything he does is in service to the ranch. She asks if his father knows that. Troy says complicated things need complicated solutions, and Madison says killing people isn’t complicated. He tells her that’s why he picked her – he didn’t pick Nick. She says Nick comes with her. He says that Nick doesn’t deserve this place.

Victor drives along a coastal road. He drives past a load of people waiting in a long line. He asks if the guard knows a Mr. Dante; he’s a friend. The guy tells him to get in line like everyone else. Victor offers him a watch (I think; I didn’t get a good look), but the guard tosses it away. He wrestles Victor to the ground and draws his gun. Victor says it’s a mistake. A guy leans over Victor, saying he looks like sh*t. I assume this is Dante.

Nick tells Madison that they’re not wanted at the ranch. Madison says they’ll win over the ones who don’t want them there. She tells them to stay away from Troy, who’s a work in progress. Nick says he’s got to do something. He thinks they should start over somewhere else. Madison says they’re not leaving; there’s no place better. They hauled him out of a hellhole, and Travis died for it. Nick says Luci won’t be safe there. He asks what if they let her go, and Madison says he’ll have a choice to make then.

Jake tells Jeremiah something is wrong. They haven’t heard back from the group that left to find out what happened with the helicopter. Madison walks in, and says she needs reassurance; some people resent them. Jeremiah says they’re strangers. Madison says, not to Troy. She’d like a leash put on him, and help with the others. Jeremiah say it’s a place where people ask for help when they need it. Madison tells him that she needs it, and she’s asking. He says she’s hard to like. She says Troy threatened her family; he murdered people, and called it science. She says maybe they should know that. Jeremiah says if his people take umbrage at their presence, that’s on her. He tells he that he won’t let anyone drown without teaching them to swim.

Alone with Madison, Jake asks if Troy hurt her. She asks if he’s always been that way. Jake says he’ll take care of Troy, and she says he and his dad keep saying that. She thanks him for saving Alicia, and he says she saved him too. She asks if he’s worried about the helicopter. He tells her that it was probably a crackpot scavenger. Madison says she wants to meet whoever it is.

Alicia watches the horses. Nick asks her about riding, but she says she’s not ready. She tells him he’s invited to the Bible study. He asks if she wants to stay, and she says no. She tells him that what Madison said wasn’t fair, and he says she’s wrong. Alicia says that this is no time to form a conscience. He asks what happened to her, but she walks away.

Jake finds Troy fixing a fence. He tells Troy to stay away from Madison and her family. He promised them he’d protect them from him. He says he still believes in Troy, but if the ranch knew what he really is… Troy asks what is he? Jake says when dad’s gone, it’s on them; they’ll have to lead together. He needs Troy to stay away from the Clarks. Troy says he hears him. Jake asks if he means it, and Troy says he always does.

Gretchen and a couple of the teenagers take Alicia to an underground place in the middle of the forest. Gretchen tells everyone to get out their study materials. Alicia is handed a humongous bong. She says this isn’t what she expected. Nor would I. Everyone paraphrases Bible verses. Gretchen opens a metal drum and takes out a bird cage. It’s Geoff. Geoff is a head, and I don’t mean of the game. Everyone sits watching Jeff drool and rattle his teeth. Alicia starts to laugh. Alrighty then.

Madison watches outtakes from the video. It’s Jeremiah arguing with his wife, who’s half In the bag, and yelling at the kids. The cameraman tells him to let her go, and he says, shut your mouth. Jeremiah walks in, and says not his finest moment. Madison asks what happened to their mom. He says Troy’s mom. Jake’s mother was his first wife, who died…before. Madison says her father was a drunk, and it killed her. Jeremiah says that the second Mrs. Otto went downhill. Troy took care of her while he was busy selling buckets, and she resented him for it.

Victor and Dante have a drink and talk about old times. Dante assumes that Thomas didn’t make it, and Victor shakes his head. Dante says all Victor has now is his wit, charm, and a crunchy suede coat. Victor says don’t forget his good looks. Dante says it’s good to have him back, and they toast.

The kids pretend to communicate (or maybe they are) through Geoff. They tell Alicia that he wants to know what it’s like “out there.” She tells them that it changes you into something worse than Geoff. She asks who the Ottos are. One of the kids says that Jeremiah saw it coming, and made the place before he was born. Gretchen says Geoff was the first zombie they saw. She says he’s indifferent on the Ottos, except for Troy. She tells Alicia that Troy and the militia do what they can’t – protect them. Alicia tells them that you can’t depend on others; you have to handle your own sh*t. Gretchen says that Geoff wants to know what bad stuff she’s done out there, and Alicia says she killed a man. Gretchen asks how it felt, and she says easy.

Dante shows Victor around the dam he’s taken over. Two guys are about to throw someone off a very high wall. Dante tells Victor that the man used to be in a cartel, and there’s no room for such people. Dude is tossed off the wall and into a pile of zombies, who immediately jump all over him and start feasting. The guys grab Victor. Dante asks if he thinks they were friends in the old world. Back then, Victor wanted people’s land; now he wants Dante’s water. Victor says food, shelter, and a cocktail suffices, but Dante says nothing suffices; it’s not in Victor’s nature. Victor is held over the edge of the balcony. Victor says it’s only a matter of time before someone else takes it, and not him. He says Dante needs transport and guns, and men to guard them. Water is the new currency, and he can organize it. Dante asks how he can trust a thief, but Victor says he never stole from Dante. Dante says he stole from Thomas, and asks if Thomas died believing that Victor loved him. Victor says he did love Thomas, and nearly gets pushed over the wall. Dante says that Victor exploits everything he touches, and owes him a debt. He’s going to work it off, and he’ll feel like those he took from – powerless. Victor is led away. Yikes.

Nick watches an old couple dance on their patio. Troy approaches him, and asks if he wants to join a hunting party. He says they can catch scavengers sneaking around in the dark, and it’s more maintenance than hunting, more cultivating than killing. He tells Nick to get in and earn his keep. They drive away.

Madison is out walking. Jeremiah tells her that Nick went with Troy on a hunting trip. She says he’s a city boy who’s never even dealt with a gun (I dunno about that, since he was a heroin addict and lived on the streets), and asks how long it lasts. Jeremiah says a couple of hours to all night, and they’ll come back safe. Madison says that her daughter is finding God. Jeremiah offers her a cigarette. I see a T-shirt in my head: My daughter got offered a huge bong and all I got was a lousy cigarette. She tells Jeremiah that her kids never had any place to feel safe, and that Nick is an addict. She told him that if he left, she’d let him go, but here they are. Jeremiah says the things they do to their children, and the things they do to make up for it. He asks if she wants to know why he tolerates his son.

The hunting party has dogs. While I couldn’t care less about the people, now I have a pack of German Shepherds to worry about.

Jeremiah takes Madison under the house. It has steel shelving laden with supplies, and he calls it the pantry. He says some people think what’s happened is God’s vengeance, but he thinks it’s an opportunity for a new life and to make amends. The new world has a purpose, and nothing heals a family more than that. They’ll build something better than before, but it won’t be easy. He asks if her family is up for it, and she says absolutely.

Troy sees someone wandering. Nick ambushes him from behind, and throws him to the ground. Troy says the ground is soft, and he could dig a grave easily; probably no one would suspect him. Nick asks how long it will take him to turn, and he tells Nick that if he does it, to time it; the journal is in his pocket. Nick says he’s not a scientist, and asks Troy what’s wrong with him. Troy says that Newton stabbed own eye to understand nature of light, and he needs to know. Nick shoots, but the bullet hits next to Troy’s head. Nick takes the journal and starts to tear it up. They fight, and Nick laughs like the lunatic he’s becoming. Troy says he thinks they can be friends now, like the lunatic he already is.

Madison visits Luci, and says she should be sleeping. Luci thanks her for waiting for her to heal before they leave, and says that she’s sorry about Travis; he saved her life. Madison says he was a good man, much better than her. He saved them all, and they can’t throw it away. They survive at all costs now.

Alicia and crew return. Jake asks if they’re turning water into wine, and she says, praise Jesus. Ha-ha! A pig roast is happening, which is perfect for the munchies. Jake talks to Jeremiah. Jeremiah makes an announcement that they still haven’t heard anything back from the group that went out, and they have to be prepared. Troy is taking a party out, but they need volunteers. Several men volunteer, and Madison raises her hand. They all look at her. Why is that so weird? I guess they are really out of touch with what’s happening everywhere. Madison sits next to Troy. He says her kids are at another table. She says she knows.

Victor awaits his fate in a cell. Someone sets a flask on the ledge. He smells it, then drinks greedily. Daniel appears, and says he knew Victor would drink it all, and that Daniel had told him that he’d be his guardian angel.

Next time, Daniel tells Victor that he’ll rot in there, someone else gets dropped into the zombie pile, zombies on a bus, and what happened to Daniel.

#WhereIsOfelia

🏛 On The Real Housewives of Potomac, Karen arranged a trip to Bermuda so the girls could get to know one another better. Why? Every time I watch this show, I want to know them less. Gizelle insulted Monique in her interview, saying that she’s “educated” and Monique “can’t hold a candle to this.” Omg. Honestly, this is the worst bunch of women ever. I want to see Gizelle’s diploma. She couldn’t even think up a new tagline this time around, using the same one as last season – and this is only their second season. She’s so educated, she can’t even think up two different sentences. She also wore some very scary purple eye shadow (I think Crayola would call it red violet) that matched her dress. Is that what she meant by “this?” No, no, and no. The good news is that Ashley had success, both with the opening of her restaurant, and keeping her marriage together. Of course the whole girls trip was a disaster. I might start using the word “janky” though.

🏖 The Real Housewives of the OC returns on Monday, July 10th, at 9 pm.

PurpleCrayone

PurpleCrayon2

November 21, 2016 – A Search for Justice on GH, Too Many Butts at SUR & the OC Puts Us Out of Our Reunion Misery

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Dante gives Sonny’s file to Jordan. She wishes they had more evidence. Dante says it’s possible someone else could be responsible. Jordan says they discussed this, and asks if he can be impartial. He says he is, but she should stay open to other possibilities. She tells him that he’s off the case. So much for being open and actually wanting to get to the truth.

Hayden wakes up to Tracy standing near her bed. Tracy pretends she isn’t concerned, and says she’s just making sure Hayden doesn’t walk off with the silverware. Finn joins them, and Hayden tells him that she caught Tracy in the act of caring. She says she’s feeling almost 100% better and wants to go.

Dante asks Jordan if he’s impeded the case. Jordan says they can’t afford for it to be jeopardized. Michael joins them and asks if she’s going to railroad Sonny. He’s there to be supportive. Sonny is brought in, and says that it means more to him than Michael knows.

Nell asks Kiki how she’s doing. She amends it to being a stupid question. She says she saw Kiki at the funeral. Kiki says she’d give anything to change the way Morgan felt that night. He was a great guy and there was no one else like him. Nell says she could tell how special he was, and she hates that it’s tearing the family apart.

Jax tells Carly that they should stop making out, and Carly says no they shouldn’t. Jax says it isn’t right, and she says yes it is. She says he thought they were perfect for one another, and she didn’t see it at the time. He says she’s leaving Sonny out of the equation.

Jordan reminds Dante that he’s no longer on the case. Diane says that there is no case. Jordan says that Sonny confessed at the church, but Diane tells her that they were the words of a grieving father, and could be taken a hundred different ways. Sonny and company leave for court.

Kiki says she’s only hurting a fraction of what Sonny and Carly are, and when Sonny confessed, it was too much for Carly to handle. Nell says she can’t imagine how bad it must be for their solid marriage to collapse. Kiki says it’s not the first time, and Nell asks about their history.

Hayden says that she doesn’t feel sick. Finn says the antibiotics might have cured the underlying infection. He thinks it’s possible that the disease was caught early enough that it could have been eradicated. Hayden says she’s ready to leave, and Curtis pops in, saying he hopes not on his account.

Sam and Jason discuss who might have wanted to go after Julian. Besides a man who’s been dead for 20 years. Sam discovers that Oscar Jessup’s phone bill has been paid by an online account in China.

Jordan tells Sonny that she should have known his bout of conscience would be short lived. Diane has finagled house arrest for him, and Jordan says he stays cuffed until he gets home, which is just about the stupidest thing ever, and makes her seem vindictive. Jordan goes to get Sonny’s belongings. Sonny tells Dante that he believes what he said in the church. Dante says the evidence against him is pretty flimsy.

Kiki tells Nell that she thinks it’s the fifth time Sonny and Carly have been married (ha-ha! she thinks), but they always find their way back to each other. She believes if they focus on how much they loved Morgan, they can do it again. Nell asks what about Jax.

Jax reminds Carly that she’s still married to Sonny. She hurts and she wants someone to make her feel better; she wants comfort, even if it’s not from the best source. She apologizes, saying she didn’t know what she was thinking. She doesn’t want Jax to think she’s using him. He says the bottom line is that she’s grieving, and he’s fine with it. She says how embarrassing, and he says he’s here for her, just not like that.

Curtis introduces himself to Tracy. He says a mutual friend told him that Hayden was under the weather and he was in between jobs, so he stopped by. Finn suggests they let Hayden and Curtis talk. Curtis pretends he’s looking for work from Hayden, but she says she knows he cares. She says she’s fine now. Curtis says she’s as beautiful and feisty as ever, but not at her best. She says she doesn’t want Finn to feel any more guilty than he already does. Curtis wonders if she has a thing for Finn.

Tracy tells Finn she’s not buying his caring doctor act, and Finn acts ignorant. Tracy says he knows antibiotics can’t kill the underlying infection, and thinks he lied because he’s scared.

Hayden tells Curtis that she does not have a thing for Finn. He asks what’s really going on, and she says she’s really scared. Curtis says no little infection is going to get the best of her, and when he’s down with someone, he never gives up.

Finn tells Tracy that he’ll take whatever he can get as far as Hayden’s improvement goes. Tracy asks how he is, and he says fine – for now. She asks about the medication, and he tells her that he’s running low. Tracy asks what if he needs to share with Hayden, and he says he’ll cross that bridge when he comes to it.

Curtis tells Hayden that for a homeless woman, she sure came up in the world. She says except for the life threatening illness, she has it made. He says she’ll beat it. Out in the hallway, Curtis thanks Finn, and says that he has Curtis’s number if he needs him. Tracy and Finn go back into Hayden’s room and she’s out of bed. She tells them she’s going to take a shower, so she’ll be presentable for her next accommodations.

Kiki tells Nell that Jax isn’t Sonny’s favorite person. Nell says exes can be like that, and he’s stuck with Jax because of Josslyn. She wonders if Jax and Carly will get back together. Kiki says Sonny and Carly think the same way, and are like a united force. She thinks they belong together and so did Morgan, and thinks Carly feels the same way. Nell says it was great talking to her, but she has to go to work.

Carly tells Jax that she loves her kids and would do anything for them. It’s the actions that count though, not the words. She justified being with Sonny in her head, telling herself that he was keeping them safe, and now look what happened. She says she should have walked away a long time ago. Jax tells her that you can’t choose who you love, but Carly says you can choose who you walk away from. She feels empty and wonders if the aching, gnawing pain will ever go away. Jax promises her it will, but in the meantime, he’ll be there to help, as a good friend who knows her inside and out.

The bell rings. It’s Dante. He says he just came from Sonny’s arraignment.

Diane deposits Sonny in his house. The officer uncuffs him. Sonny tells her, nice work. She says as much as she loves her retainer, she loves justice more, and believes he’s innocent.

Jason tells Sam that whoever planted the bomb was in the parking lot at the same time he was. He wonders if he saw something that isn’t registering. Sam asks about other business’s surveillance cameras. Curtis – who is just popping in out of the blue everywhere today – says, like the mini mart across the street? He says the store got everything on video and he has it on his phone.

Finn beats Tracy at Backgammon, and now she owes him a favor. He wants her to ask Hayden to stay. Tracy says Hayden can’t wait to get out. Finn tells her that all he wants is for her ask. She says she’ll run it by Monica.

Dante tells Carly that Sonny pled not guilty. He says whatever Jason told him had a big affect, and asks Carly if she knows what it was. She tells Dante to talk to Sonny, but he says Diane claimed he wasn’t talking. He tells Carly about Sonny getting bail and being placed under house arrest. Carly asks what happens now, and Dante says nothing, as long as Sonny stays put, and he’s wearing an ankle monitor.

The officer explains the conditions of the monitor to Sonny and tells him good luck. After he leaves, Sonny asks Diane if she can get him out of this mess, and Diane asks if he’s met her. She going to have the confession thrown out as the words of a grief stricken father. She’s not making light of it, but it’s a bonus, and by the time they go to trial, Jason should have uncovered more evidence. She tells him to call if he needs company. He thanks her for what she did for him. She leaves and Sonny looks grim.

Curtis tells Jason and Sam that Julian fired him. He’s in this for the truth, and if they combine forces, they can get to the bottom of it. He says they can look at the video, but a delivery van blocked the view of Julian’s car, so it’s another dead end.

Jax asks if Dante is okay with this, and Dante says things have changed. Nell comes in and Dante leaves. Nell gives Carly some work stuff and the guest book from Morgan’s funeral. She thinks Carly might appreciate the nice comments and memories of Morgan. Jax asks if Nell could book him a suite at the MetroCourt.

Sam tells Jason that she can see if the story checks out at the mini mart. Jason tells her to hang on, and takes Curtis aside. He wants to know why Curtis is so interested in helping. Curtis says he doesn’t like loose ends, and there was something strange about how Julian fired him. Jason suggests they work together.

Sonny enjoys a drink, saying he can’t get that in Pentonville. Nope, you can’t. The doorbell rings. It’s Dante who’s burning a lot of calories today, bouncing from place to place. Sonny asks if he’s there as a cop, and Dante says he’s there as his son.

Finn goes into Hayden’s room. She comes out in a towel and says she needs to get dressed. Finn gets flustered and leaves. He sees Tracy in the hallway, and she says Cook wants her to find out what Hayden’s favorite dish is. She says Monica gave her okay, so she’s also extending the invitation. Tracy enters Hayden’s room and asks if she’d like to stay. Finn answers his phone. The test results are back. He asks if Hayden is positive for the disease.

Hayden asks Tracy if this is a joke, but Tracy says she can stay as long as she likes. Hayden says no, but Tracy asks why she’s making it difficult. Hayden asks why she’d want to stay where she isn’t wanted. Tracy tells her that if she doesn’t, Finn will be mad at the both of them.

Finn gets the results and doesn’t look happy.

Curtis and Jason look at the tape and wonder if the car is blocked on purpose.

Sonny says Dante doesn’t have to worry about him. Dante says he knows it must be strange, and Sonny says it is what it is. Dante says he stopped by Carly’s place and Jax was there. He told her that Sonny was home, but all she said was thanks for letting her know.

To his surprise, Carly tells Nell that Jax will be staying at her place. Nell goes into the office, and Carly promises not to make any more moves on Jax.

At the bar, Michael asks Kiki if Nell is around, and Kiki says he just missed her. He tells Kiki about Sonny, and says that he wants Nell to keep an eye on him, since she’s babysitting Avery anyway.

Carly asks Jax if they can act like the kiss never happened, and he says no one needs to know. Well, Nell is going to know, because she’s eavesdropping, and probably taking notes.

Tomorrow, Alexis has good news, Lucy has the pills, and Thanksgiving begins. As usual, I wonder how the Quartermaines will end up having pizza.

Vanderpump Rules

Oh my Lord, if I have to hear Lala make that remark about no one having worked on their “summer bodies” one more time, I’m going to go out of my mind.

The girls (minus Ariana and Lala) gather for a lunch with Katie. Everyone has a balloon to pop, and there are papers inside asking them to be bridesmaids. Apparently Kristen has been waiting for this moment since she introduced Katie and Schwartz. Katie talks about how she met all of them.

Katie asks Brittany how it’s going with Jax. She thinks she’s finally gotten through to him, but Stassi suggests she take his credit card and buy what she wants. In her interview, Stassi says she now looks at Jax like an ape who has a really cool girlfriend. I’d say that’s a pretty accurate description. Katie gets sentimental, and Stassi says she’s not going to take any moments for granted anymore. Stassi asks about Ariana, but Katie says Ariana isn’t into the bridesmaid thing, and she didn’t want to put her on the spot to say no. In her interview, she adds that Ariana’s defense of Lala added to the decision making process. Stassi calls it the “dream team” and I gag a little. Wow. That’s a lot of bridesmaids. I had three.

At SUR, Lala asks James if he’s fired yet. He’s there to talk to Lisa and guesses he’ll find out. In his interview, James talks about people saying things about how many strikes he has, but since they don’t have baseball in England, he doesn’t comprehend the analogy. I think even if they did have baseball in England, he still wouldn’t comprehend it. He’s not the brightest bulb in the box.

Tom and Jax set up the bar for the evening ahead. They’re going to Schwartz’s after work. Jax brings up James’s altercation at PUMP, and hopes Lisa fires him for real this time. I’d give anything to eat at SUR and run into Lisa. Then I’d beg her to adopt me.

In her interview, Lisa says she’s heard a lot, but still doesn’t know what started the fight. She asks to talk to James in private. She tells him he’s upsetting her business. James is so delusional, he thinks that people see him winning and don’t like it. He really does think he’s a bigger deal than he is. He says he’s innocent in this, but Lisa says experience has taught her not to trust him. She says it’s difficult for her to keep him employed, and she’s given him more chances than he deserves. She says lucky for him, it looks like the other guy was the perpetrator, but if she catches him doing one wrong thing, he’s out. Or it’s his third strike as we say in America. In her interview, Lisa says if one person had said he was at fault, he would have been gone.

Commercial break. I get a Trader Joe’s maple walnut blondie and think this is the very reason I will never be as thin as these people. Never.

Scheana talks to Lisa about James, saying he’s a 24-year-old child. She says he can’t keep blaming his father for his own bad choices forever. At the bar, Ariana and Katie talk about James. Ariana asks James if everything is cool with Lisa. He says yes, and they high-five. In her interview, Katie calls James the worst version of a person humanity has to offer. Ha-ha! Ariana asks Katie how the wedding plans are going. Katie explains why she didn’t ask Ariana to be a bridesmaid, but dances around actually saying it. In her interview, Ariana says it might have been easier on her if she’d just come out with it. She tells Katie she’ll be involved where Katie wants her to be, whether she’s wearing a bridesmaid’s dress or not. Ariana seems like one of the most mature of the group, so I can’t fathom why she insists on being friends with Lala and James either.

Schwartz wants to cook Jax and Tom a nice dinner to show his appreciation for their friendship. They show up semi-formally dressed, but in flip-flops, as an homage to the many times they couldn’t get into a club because Schwartz was wearing them. Schwartz tells them about the prenup conversation. Tom thinks it’s a classic example of how lawyers make money, although he’s all for it. Schwartz tells them how much he appreciates everything they’ve done for him, and asks them to be groomsmen. His two to Katie’s ten. The dinner looks great and Jax says Brittany doesn’t even make him dinner like that.

They discuss old times and sleeping on air mattresses. Schwartz talks about how they hazed him for the first year he was in LA, and how he’s been looking for a way to make things even ever since. I take note that Tom didn’t eat his broccoli. Schwartz says it’s time to start repayment and gives them envelopes. They contain pictures of Schwartz’s butt with their food in and on it. He tells them that he also ran three miles beforehand and didn’t shower. In his interview, Tom says it’s Shakespearean in nature, like cutting up someone’s son and feeding it to him. Jax says the food was good, butt cheeks or no butt cheeks, and I’m shocked at how in stride they both take it. And I wonder if Katie realizes how immature Schwartz really is. Tom totally deserves this, if only for whatever the hell way he’s wearing his hair. It’s some kind of braid on the top of his head ending in a man bun.

Katie shops for invitations with Kristen and Stassi. Katie wants to send the invites on a tea towel, which is the coolest idea ever. When the clerk goes in the back, Katie tells the girls she’s having a housewarming party. In her interview, Stassi talks about how she and Patrick are heading toward their final break-up, and how all of the celebrations are difficult for her. After crunching the numbers, the clerk tells Katie that it comes out to about $18.50 an invitation. I think I spent that in total on mine. Okay, maybe it was a little more, but still.

Lisa checks out how things are going at PUMP. She asks James if he’s staying out of trouble and keeping his nose clean. I’ll bet that meant something totally different in the 80s. Lala tells Ariana that she feels badly about Scheana, since they used to be friends. She wants to talk with Scheana, and asks if she can have a minute. Lala wonders where they hit a point where they weren’t okay with each other. She says she realizes she’s been a bully and isn’t happy with herself. Scheana says she needs to talk to Katie. She says the things Lala has been saying about Katie are not cool.

Scheana tells Katie about Lala’s apology and how she defended Katie. We flash back to Lala’s interruption at Katie’s engagement party. Katie says she’s been hearing that Lala is dating a married man who’s been bankrolling her. She says she prefers to make money the old fashioned way. She means hard work for a paycheck, but I guess she doesn’t realize the irony that prostitution is called the world’s oldest profession.

Lala says human to human, she owes this bitch an apology. While Katie is on break outside, Lala sits down. She says she’s not there to argue, but to apologize for low blows she should have never made. She says Katie wants to throw rocks at her. Katie asks if she’s referring to being labeled a whore, and says she calls it as she sees it. After claiming to be in a committed relationship, Lala says they all say things they don’t mean, and she’d accept a apology from Katie. She denies having a married boyfriend, and says her parents still pay for a lot. Lala makes a snarky remark about Katie’s car, and Katie calls her an idiot and walks back into SUR.

Schwarz gripes about spending more money on a housewarming party, and tells Katie the invitations better not be more than five bucks a piece. She clues him in, and tells him it’s standard. He says standard idiocy. In his interview, he claims he could throw a decent wedding for three grand and that barely covers the invitations. I did one for five grand (including the honeymoon), but I had a lot of creative and generous friends, as well as it being quite a while ago. Katie tells Schwartz about Lala’s pseudo apology. She says that afterward, she saw Lala with Scheana looking friendly, and thinks Scheana had better watch her back.

The friends gather for the housewarming. Everyone brings presents. In her interview, Scheana says she and Shay are in a good place and he’s curbed the drinking. Jax talks to Tom about the bachelor party. He wants to get transvestites or transgenders. From where” The Yellow Pages? Google? Craigslist? Tom suggests a guy in drag. Jax debates that it’s the same thing, and while as usual he’s an idiot, I try to figure out how that’s different from a transvestite.

In the kitchen, Brittany asks Stassi whats’ wrong. Stassi says she’s embarrassed about her flip-flopping relationship. She says every time she tries to explain it, she doesn’t know what the problem is, even though they love each other. She starts to cry and Brittany hugs her. She says Stassi can call any time and she won’t judge her. She makes it all better by giving Stassi some of her vodka and soda.

Lala visits James. Lala tells him Katie wasn’t having it and he says she didn’t really accept his apology either. Neither one of them care, but Lala wonders where Katie is getting that she’s dating a married dude. In his interview, James says he doesn’t know who Lala is dating, but he’s staying out of it. They make fun of the hosuewarming party that they weren’t invited to. James tells Lala not to let them make her feel excluded. He talks about how his career is going to skyrocket.

The party is in full swing, meaning Katie can’t tell lemons from limes at this point. Jax and Peter discuss how Scheana’s butt has shrunk. Butts seem to be the theme tonight. Katie shows Stassi and Kristen the bedroom, which is done in industrial chic eclectic, which I don’t believe for one minute is a thing. Katie tells the girls about calling Lala out on her married boyfriend. In her interview, Stassi commends Katie on actually saying something out loud. Kristen calls Lala a sociopathic skank. Wow. She’s kind of right, although Lala still has a conscience. If she keeps ignoring it though, she’ll get there.

Scheana tells Jax about Lala’s apology tour, and how Katie told her if she’s dishonest in one area, how can she trust her in another? Ariana says Lala’s life is none of their business, but Scheana says if you lie about your life, how can anyone believe you about anything?

Stassi says she can’t even give Lala a hair flip in a bitchy way. She wants to pretend Lala does’t exist that much. Scheana comes in and the other two leave. Katie tells her that the privious night sat uneasy with her after she saw Scheana at the bar with Lala. Scheana says she was just there when Lala walked up and she doesn’t want to be friends with Lala. Katie says that now Lala is comfortable talking to Scheana, she feels weird about it. Scheana promises that she’s 100% supportive of Katie and suggests she go back to her own party.

Next time, Schwarz asks Ariana to be one of his groomsmen, Katie and Scheana argue, Jax and James argue at work, and Lisa calls James a drunken a-hole. Definitely worth the price of admission.

The Real Housewives of the OC – The Reunion – Part Three

We revisit the dune buggy accident in Glammis. Andy asks Tamra about feeling responsible and she says she still feels that way. Heather says she remembered Terry telling her to go limp if she’s ever in an accident. Good to know. Kelly says it was surreal, and talks about seeing the bar on top of Tamra. Tamra says she thought there was a body on her and was afraid to open her eyes. Andy brings up Shannon not going because of health reasons and Vicki questioning it in her blog. Shannon defends herself, citing several doctors.

Next “Hospitalgate” is discussed. We flash back to Shannon and Meghan acting like idiots, and the repercussions. Heather makes a stank face about Meghan revoking her hostess charter. Meghan says she didn’t realize it was as bad as it was. Heather says she told her exactly what happened, and brings up a text that Meghan sent afterward, agreeing that it must have been horrible. Andy asks if Meghan doesn’t think being airlifted to a hospital was important. Heather says there are certain criteria; they just don’t airlift anyone. Meghan says Vicki had lied about a lot of stuff, and Heather says it wasn’t Vicki telling her. It bothered her that the immediate human reaction wasn’t, what can I do? I tend to agree. It might be different if they hadn’t been out in the middle of nowhere and Vicki was by herself. I have actually stepped in to help someone I couldn’t stand because there was no one else available at the time.

A viewer asks why Heather and Kelly didn’t go to visit Vicki. Heather says she had one of her kids with her and was driving an RV. Meghan says to make a decision for herself is one thing, but to judge her is another. Tamra says regardless of what the past was, if someone is in an accident, you visit. Vicki chastises Andy for belaboring the point, and Shannon says she’s bossy. Andy asks if Shannon has met her, and Vicki tells her to get used to it. They talk about Briana saying that Vicki was overly dramatic while recovering. Tamra says Briana claimed that Vicki was taking her neck brace off when the cameras weren’t rolling. Vicki says Briana was very ill as well, and doesn’t think she totally grasped what was going on. Oddly enough, Heather comes to Vicki’s defense. We go over Meghan calling Tamra “reckless.” Heather apologizes for being hard on Meghan about it, but says that Meghan had been alking a lot of smack about her and wishes she’d come to her. They talk about hospital visitation some more and I mentally beg Andy to move on.

Finally. We go over some klutzy Vicki moments, like when she tripped and lost her nipple cover. Next is the Ireland trip and the same flash backs we’ve seen a dozen times. Zzzzzzz… The worst is how these women keep saying they weren’t trying to get Kelly drunk when they so obviously were. We end with the screaming match bus trip. Andy starts with the nose flick thing Kelly was doing. Kelly uses the famous it was a miscommunication excuse. Meghan says she feels Kelly was baited, but the whole thing was stupid. A viewer demands that Heather explain why she was carrying a flask of Fireball when she only drinks champagne. Heather claims she was just being funny. Too bad nobody ended up laughing.

Moving on to the dinner. Andy asks what Shannon’s motivation was in trying to get Kelly to drink. Shannon makes up some idiotic excuse. Andy asks why Tamra quietly asked the waiter to make doubles, but she never answers, and Shannon makes something else up. Vicki talks about how she warned Kelly, and Shannon gets so wound up that you’d think someone put a quarter into her. Her voice gets high and squeaky, and she rattles off a few times that Vicki encouraged Kelly to drink. Kelly says the dinner was 100% a set up.

Kelly does a perfect imitation of Shannon’s squeaky voice asking her why she wasn’t drinking. Andy talks about naked wasted, and says as a connoisseur of the show, it looked similar to him. Tamra says that was a million years ago. Shannon says it was before her time, and they looked bad, but there was no ill intent. Right.

Andy goes there. He asks Shannon about Vicki’s comment that David beat her. Shannon says in 2003 she called the police over a verbal argument that he wanted to end. Vicki says she’s fine with that, but not the lying. She says she has proof. Vicki says she didn’t want to do this, and Tamra gets loud and stupid. Vicki tells her to shut up, and she says no, you. Andy tells everyone to shut up, and let Shannon speak. Shannon says she and David went out to dinner. It was when she first found out about the affair, and either she had too much to drink or someone slipped something in her drink. She doesn’t remember what happened, but David found her blocks away. Shannon says most people will believe her because she’s told the truth, but now it’s out there and someone might approach her kids about it. She calls Vicki despicable, and says she’s never talking to her again, which seems fine with Vicki. She says she’d never stay in a marriage where the guy was beating her. Andy tries to slip in something about Briana accusing Brooks of hitting Vicki, but it gets lost in the confusion. Everyone starts talking at once and Shannon needs a minute.

She goes off crying and lapdog Tamra follows. Tamra tells Shannon that Vicki isn’t a nice person. They linger in front of the door, and a few people have to squeeze past. They all have bemused looks on their faces.

Andy asks if this is the secret Vicki had. Heather says it speaks to her character that she’d tell Kelly about it. Vicki says she didn’t want to bring it out, and Heather says if that was the case, she wouldn’t have said anything. Still in the hallway, Shannon babbles and Tamra says Vicki knows what she’s doing, and is just trying to bring them down. Heather says Vicki should apologize to Tamra, and Vicki gets loud, saying Tamra said worse things about her. Heather gets all schoolmarmish. Tamra tells Shannon, let’s turn this around, and they go back in.

Andy asks if Shannon said something to Vicki and it got misconstrued. Vicki swears that Shannon called her at the time. Kelly seems to think Shannon’s story makes sense now, and Andy wonders why Vicki is sticking with what she said. Shannon shows pictures of herself in a bikini and says see? no bruises. Vicki says that a man should never touch a woman. Shannon says they’re in agreement on that one.

Andy brings up the Eddie being gay thing, and Vicki says it was a rumor that Tamra already knew about. Vicki says she doesn’t know if it’s true, but all she did was say it was out there. She says that Tamra has been trashing her for years . Tamra says, shut up, old lady, revealing her usual charming self and blowing her witness. The really stupid thing is that she’s not exactly a spring chicken. I guess her fear of growing old causes her to become ageist in an argument. She tells Vicki to stop spreading rumors. Andy asks why Heather is angry with Kelly instead of Vicki for telling Kelly. Heather agrees she had douchy moments on the bus. She says they all did, and she cops to hers.

Andy brings up the puppet-master thing that Kelly said. Heather says it’s more like Kelly is (no, you), since she tried to build hate against heather. Kelly says everyone has seen heather for who she is now and the world hates Heather and loves her. I’m speechless, and so is Heather.

Andy asks where Tamra and Vicki are relationship-wise. Tamra says now that Vicki has been spreading rumors, they’re done. Vicki says she’s sorry she repeated anything to Kelly. Meghan thinks her ego is getting involved in her apology. Andy asks if Kelly has made any progress. Kelly says she apologized and tried to move forward, but it seems like it doesn’t matter.

Final moment. If they cold have one do-over what would it be? For Heather, it’s the bus ride to the airport. She says personal narratives and booze made it explode. For Meghan, she would have listened to Heather about the accident. For Tamra, it’s pushing Kelly; for Kelly, it’s talking about Tamra’s daughter. For Shannon, it’s yelling about her mother-in-law at David, and for Vicki, it’s talking to Kelly about things at the beginning of the season, when she should have kept her mouth shut.

Andy says they’ve gotten everything off their chest, and it’s time to heal. Shannon says the damage is done. She tells Vicki that spousal abuse is a serious allegation, and Vicki says so is con woman. Andy breaks out the Guinness and champagne cocktails, and toasts to season 11, moving forward, and Meghan’s baby girl. Baby’s first reunion. Yikes.

November 14, 2016 – Sonny Unloads His Gun, Jax Spreads a Rumor & Kelly is the OC Reunion’s Target

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Oh no. The president is expected to speak in 15 minutes. Should I even bother? You know this will probably be a long one.

At the funeral, Sonny tells everyone that his son is gone and most of them blame him, but they can’t blame him more than he blames himself. Sonny says Morgan’s life wasn’t easy, and Morgan deserves to be at peace, but that can’t happen because of what he did. He knows how to make it happen though. He takes out his gun.

Nina is talking on the phone with Nathan. She says she has everything under control.

Valentin approaches Laura on her way into Windemere. He says he doesn’t have any keys and can’t find the caretaker.

Scotty joins Ava for a secret meeting. He’s annoyed that she picked a place that doesn’t serve alcohol. She says she’d expected him to carry a flask. He asks why she’s wearing black, and she says she’s thinking of going to Morgan’s funeral. Well, she’d best hurry up, since it’s pretty much over. Scotty says he knows she switched Morgan’s medication, but Sonny and Carly don’t. She says it’s only a matter of time before they do.

Sonny puts the gun down. He says violence smothered his son’s life. Morgan had a future in front of him, but he won’t have the chance to do what he wanted because of Sonny. Sonny wants to make it clear that no one except him is responsible and looks pointedly at Carly. Jordan interrupts, asking if he’s confessing. He says he has to get this out first. Jason approaches him and says this is a bad idea.

Sonny goes to Carly. He talks about her asking him to change and to stop the cycle of violence. He apologizes for breaking his promise and says now their beautiful boy lost his life. He tells Michael that what he said was right – Morgan always fogave. He tells Michael not to beat himself up. He’s the one who should have protected Morgan. He says he’d do anything to trade places with Morgan., so he could be sitting next to his mom in church. He says the only thing he can do is to take responsibility for his actions. He’ll be sorry the rest of his life, and do everything to atone for it.

He takes the bullets out of the gun. He holds out his hands and tells Dante to do what needs to be done.

Laura tells Valentin she’ll be gone before the day is out. He says he extended an olive branch, and she says he knows what he can do with it. Ha-ha! Feisty Laura. He tells her if she changes her mind she’s welcome to stay.

Nina says she loves her brother but he’s a worrier. We see she’s talking to Charlotte, who’s sitting on the floor in Nina’s office. Nina tells Charlot while Nathan is making plans, they’ll play. Charlotte wants to play paper dolls, and Nina says she can definitely make that happen.

Ava tells Scotty about what Lucy said. She’s concerned that if she makes a wrong move, Lucy will go running to Sonny. She says if Lucy brings the pills to Sonny and Carly, they’ll know she switched them. Scotty says he’d lay low. Ava says there’s no statute of limitations with Sonny, and if he finds out, she’s dead. She tells Scotty he knows what needs to be done. He says she needs a dye job and the first freighter to Cuba. She tells him that they have to get the pills.

Jordan says she’s not going to arrest Sonny here, but wants him to come in for questioning. Sonny, Jordan and Dante leave. Michael asks Carly if she’s okay. She says she’s fine and Sonny made his choice. What’s done is done.

Valentin says he can’t wait for Charlotte to move in with him. To get any new audience members and viewers with short term memory loss up to speed, Laura responds, “the house you stole from my son whom you killed.” Doc is at the door, and Valentin says welcome to my home. Doc wants to know how it’s his home. He says he’ll let Laura explain. It belongs to the Cassadines, but she’ll always have a place there.

Carly talks to Nell about the reception and tells her to cancel the room. She says she wanted justice for Morgan, but she’s not sure this is what she had in mind. Speaking of the funeral, was no one going to the cemetery? Or were they just going to keep the casket in the house? There was never any mention of burying it and several people left early.

Dante tells Sonny that he needs an attorney, but Sonny just wants it over with. Sonny goes into the interrogation room, and Jordan takes Dante aside.

Jason hands a cop some money and goes into the interrogation room by the other door. He tells Sonny that he’s making a mistake.

Well, ABC is going to cover the president. I may as well go back to looking at pics of that underwater restaurant in the Maldives that I will never be able to afford to go to.

Doc asks Laura how Valentin made a claim to the estate. Laura says it’s a long, sad, misogynistic story. She asks if he wants to help her pack. He says, let’s just get out of here. He tells her they can brainstorm on what she’s going to do next. She says she’s moving in with Dante and Lulu. Doc tells her that she’s welcome to stay with him.

Nina and Charlotte are getting along great. Charlotte makes a purple paper doll and Nina says purple is her favorite color. Valentin shows up with purple tulips. What a coincidence. He says he gets to sit with not just one, but two beautiful ladies.

Ava says Scotty knows Lucy’s sweet spots, and can distract her and get the pills. He asks what’s in it for him.

Kiki tells Dillon that she needs time to herself to sit with her feels and memories, and say good by to Morgan in her own way. She tells him she’ll see him later. She leaves. Nell does damage control on the phone. Bobbie asks Michael what he thinks of Nell. He thinks she’s great and she’s been supportive of Carly. Bobbie is like, hmmph!

Carly tells Jax she can’t believe Sonny confessed. Jax says Sonny doesn’t like violence, but has no problem using it, and doesn’t consider collateral damage. He says Sonny is smart, but he doesn’t think Sonny got it until today. Carly says what about Morgan’s brothers and sisters, and what about Avery? Ava will get full custody. Jax says it will hurt some people, but Sonny did the right thing. Today he took the first step in protecting his family

Jordan gives Dante the option to sit this out. Jason tells Sonny that Diane is on the way. Sonny says he’s making a full confession and will gladly go to prison. Jason says under no circumstances is he to confess to anything.

Yep, here it comes. The State of the Union. Sigh….

At least it’s only Monday.

Vanderpump Rules

The gang gathers in Lisa’s office. It’s World Dog Day and Lisa brings along Nappy, a little one-eyed terrier. Jax asks if there’s going to be alcohol. Lisa discovers that Kristen has gotten an invite. Brittany is ready to punch Jax for spreading rumors about her and Kristen. She tells Scheana that she doesn’t even want to be around him right now. Scheana thought that maybe since he’d been with Brittany, he was being more respectful, but she takes that back now. Scheana invites Brittany to stay at her apartment. Where’s Shay these days anyway?

Tom and Schwartz go for some much needed relaxing time at the spa. Yes, I’m being sarcastic. Do these people even work?

Katie visits Stassi. Stassi says it’s her first apartment where she isn’t living with someone or her father is paying for it. They talk about World Dog Day, which is going to be at the local dog park. Stassi says she tried working for Lisa once and it lasted four hours. We flash back, and she says it’s number four on the list of things she’s scared of. Katie is hoping that it doesn’t turn into the Hunger Games of bridesmaids when she has to choose.

Tom and Schwartz talk about the wedding plans. As Schwartz is talking about cutting corners. He doesn’t want a cake. I hope Katie plans a cake anyway. Seriously. WTF? Tom asks if he’s sure he wants to do this and thinks maybe Schwartz and Katie should get some pre-wedding therapy.

James takes Scheana aside at SUR. He says obviously the night didn’t go well, referring to the OK! Magazine party. He claims Scheana came at him, but she says he approached them and started insulting them about not working on their summer bodies. He apologizes and she suggests he apologize to Katie as well. Although she accepts his apology, in her interview, Scheana says she doesn’t buy it, and sure enough, in his interview, James says it’s bullsh*t.

Lala is having lunch with her mom, Lisa. Not that Lisa. She says she wishes she didn’t have to lean on her mom so much, and Lisa tells her that’s what moms are for. Lala says she thinks she’s turning into a vicious person and Lisa says that’s not her. Yes. It is. Lala says she doesn’t feel good about it after she’s mean, and her mom says it probably brings her back to being bullied herself. Lala says she knows there’s a family history of drinking problems (and problems with naming their children ridiculous things like Lala). She says she keeps it to a two drink minimum. Really? They must be pretty strong drinks. Or twenty ounce drinks. Lala rags on her co-workers, and Lisa says she has a tender heart, but a tough exterior, which makes perfect sense. Not.

Carter and Kristen are having dinner at their apartment. Kristen wants to invite some people over after the World Dog thing. Kristen is annoyed about the rumor that Jax is spreading. She says she and Brittany had a few wasted kisses, but she really doesn’t remember anything. 100% though, she didn’t do that.

The rumor about Kristen and Brittany is flying around everywhere. Even the cooks at SUR are discussing it. It’s like that part in Bye, Bye Birdie when everyone gets on the phone to talk about Hugo and Kim going steady. Scheana tells Lisa that it’s not right that Brittany is only there a couple of weeks and now everyone is giving her the side-eye. Lisa agrees that it’s really not fair. Brittany approaches Jax. She’s angry that he started this, and he tells her to get over it. She says it’s upsetting and he says he didn’t mean to hurt her feelings. In the interview, she says she knows he likes to make up things, but to do it to her is the worst. Jax says she’s making it more than it is, and she tells him she’s done, but I’m not sure with what.

Lisa asks Brittany if she’s okay. She says she knows what happened, and Brittany says she feels like he’s tarnishing her name. She tells Lisa what he said isn’t what happened. In her interview, Lisa says she doesn’t regret hiring Brittany, but she sometimes regrets not firing Jax. Brittany starts to cry, and Lisa tells her to stay strong. Chin up and all that.

In the morning, Scheana asks Brittany if she’s going to kick Jax’s ass. Hey, there’s Shay! Brittany goes home and loves on the dog. Jax is still in bed and tells her he’s sleeping. He says she’s the one who’s keeping the story going, and she says it’s about her. She tells him that he exaggerated hugely, and she doesn’t understand why he’d talk about her this way. He gets loud and says everyone is wrong. She asks why he said it, and he says because it happened. She says it didn’t happen, and if he’s sorry, he needs to act like it. Ditch that guy already, Brittany. You have a job. Two jobs. You don’t need him as a third.

Katie explains how she’s going to do a bridesmaids reveal to Schwartz. She tells him about how much the photographer costs, and he thinks maybe she should keep him in the dark. In her interview, she says she usually likes that he’s a cheapskate, but not this time. Their venue is called the 20 Miles House. She says it’s going to be everything and more. I tend to agree. It’s a huge old house out in the middle of a beautiful nowhere. The whole thing will be about 18K and they require a 5K deposit. August 17 is the date – it’s a Wednesday and cheaper. When that deed is done, Schwartz tells her that they should probably get a prenup. He says it’s like health insurance, you hope you won’t need it, but it’s a precautionary measure. Katie says unless he’s sitting on a trust fund she doesn’t know about, all he has are massive amounts of sweat pants and action figures. She agrees and he gets turned on by her sensibility.

James meditates on the balcony of his apartment. There’s a knock at the door and he skates over. It’s Lala. He shows her around his new place. He has a roommate, who’s renting him some space in his penthouse. He’s released both Pump Sessions and the single he did with Lala, and also released a video. He says if he stays focused, his dreams can take off. Lala tells him to stay on track and not let people throw him off.

World Dog Day is here! Katie has donation buckets and raffle tickets for the group to take around. Brittany says it’s going to be hard to get through the day with Jax. She feels like whenever she talks to someone, they’re thinking about what he told everyone. Lisa arrives and marvels at all the fabulous dogs. One of the managers tells Lisa about James being stupid at PUMP, and how some guy put him in a headlock. James is telling Tom his version of what happened, and says people attack him because they’re jealous. Okay. In her interview, Lisa says if James is at fault, she’s going to let him go. In his interview, James says he’s young and good-looking and people are jealous of him. I believe it if you believe it. He’s half right anyway. I’m not into crossed eyes and a scrawny frame.

James tries to apologize to Katie. She says he acts like an a-hole, apologizes, and then laughs about the person falling for it. He says they have their differences, but he’s trying to say sorry. She says she’s never done anything to him, and he’s a horrible person, adding that he should just mind his own business from now on and she’ll mind hers. He is truly a nasty piece of work. And Katie is far from fat.

The donations pour in. The dogs do an obstacle course. Kyle Richards comes by. Kristen brings Carter. Stassi wonders if there’s alcohol. Lisa says she loves dogs and everyone knows how she feels about bitches, referring to Stassi and Kristen. Lisa confronts James about the incident at PUMP, and James tries to defend himself, acting like everyone is just out to get him and he’s not really an idiot. Doggy yoga starts at two.

Stassi goes over to talk to Lisa, saying she’s going to disarm her with her pups. She has two tiny dogs that are very cute, and one is wearing a tiny hat. Kristen is with her, and Lisa alludes to the rumor, enjoying that she’s making Kristen uncomfortable.

Jax talks to Schwartz about the wedding. Schwartz says he’s excited, and Jax thinks he’s just saying that. Jax talks about the week long argument he’s been having with Britney. She thinks it’s more than just a silly rumor and because he’s betrayed her trust so much, it’s turned into something else.

Lisa makes a speech. She talks about the Yulan Dog Festival, and tells everyone to say no to the dog meat trade and celebrate their furry friends. She feels the event has been a success. Everyone who was invited has shown up and then some.

Kristen says Brittany is the best thing that’s ever happened to Jax, and he’s ruining it. She tells Jax that he has an awesome girlfriend and he’s messing it up. He acts like he doesn’t know what she’s talking about. She says a drunk kiss isn’t having sex. He says it’s his relationship and his problem. Kristen says he’s pulling a Jax, and to just stop screwing people over that care about him. In his interview, Jax says Kristen wins, but they’ll always know what really happened. Kristen tells him not to hurt Brittany.

Next time, Katie picks her bridesmaids, Schwarz has a dinner and embarrasses Tom, and James gets fired…maybe.

The Real Housewives of the OC – The Reunion Part Two

We’re so bored with this stuff, they show us some behind-the-scenes scenes. Andy shows clips of the moments when the OC ladies got down and dirty in more ways than one. We flash back to some of the funny stuff, like milking the cows and explaining wet dreams to their children. A viewer asks if Vicki got her nipples fixed yet, but she isn’t saying.

Andy talks about new beginnings for Shannon. We flash back to the vow renewal and the move. This is counteracted by scenes from the party where David’s mother talked trash about Shannon. A viewer asks if the vow renewal changed things for her. Shannon says David’s emotion was heart warming. Shannon disagrees with any comparison to Vicki and Don. Vicki says Don thought their vow renewal was good for TV, while she thought differently. Shannon starts getting loud, and Vicki says in retrospect, she wouldn’t have put it on the show.

Andy asks if Shannon and David made a sex tape on their second honeymoon, and I tell him thanks a lot for that visual. He then goes around the room with the question. He asks Shannon if she thinks what her MIL did at the party was premeditated. She says yes, and hasn’t spoken to her since. Andy pretends that Grandma Donna is coming out, but everyone is used to his fake-outs now.

A viewer says that it was classic Tamra sh*t stirring for her to tell Shannon what Donna was saying. Tamra says she didn’t know Shannon was going to react that way. Heather speaks for her, saying Tamra wouldn’t have done it if she’d known how Shannon was going to react. Andy questions Vicki about how she said she felt sorry for David, and Vicki says you never forget about an affair, and always question what you lacked because it happened. Tamra says she would never be able to get over it. Well, look out, because Eddie is pretty good-looking and you can be a real shrew.

Shannon says she’s not the reason David had an affair, he is. She says they weren’t happy at the time, but there were other things going on in his life. Andy asks about the other woman and Shannon says she renewed her football tickets in front of them (they sit ten rows apart), but other than the one altercation in the beginning, there’s been no contact. Andy asks how things re going now, and Shannon says great; their marriage is solid.

Andy brings up how often Shannon says “are you kidding me?” Each woman’s over-used phrase or word is presented: for Heather, it’s by the way; Kelly, of course; Tamra, God/Jesus; Vicki, whoop it up; and Meghan, sperm. We see clips of them all saying these things a thousand times.

We move on to Heather calling Terry out on being an absentee father. We see clips of their vacation, Terry working too much, Heather discussing it with him, and ending with Terry saying he’s going to be a better dad. A viewer asks how much the new house cost. Heather says numbers aren’t relevant. When she won’t tell them, Andy asks Kelly, who says twenty million plus. A viewer asks if Heather’s life is so perfect that she really doesn’t have problems. She says right now it’s good, but it’s ridiculous to think there are never any problems.

Briana joins us straight from the night shift at the hospital. She and Vicki talk about how great their relationship is now that Brooks is gone. Briana says it’s good to be back in the OC. We flash back to Vicki getting her the hell out of Oklahoma, followed by clips of Vicki leading the single life for two minutes, and then meeting Steve. They’ve been dating for seven months now. She says her love tank is over-filled, and Briana thinks he’s amazing. He’s never seen the show, and Vicki says one of the qualities she wanted in a man was that he didn’t know her from TV. For whatever reason, when Steve sent Vicki flowers, Heather thought Vikci had sent the flowers to herself, writing about it in her blog. Vicki tells Heather that she took some of the pleasure out of it and Heather rolls her eyes, because when she does something nasty, it’s okay. Andy asks Tamra what she thinks of him, like this matters. A viewer asks why Vicki needs a man to be happy. She claims she doesn’t and is cool being alone, but Briana is like, no, and the rest of us agree.

We move on to Briana’s medical issues. She says while she was getting tests, she found out she had Lupus. A viewer asks if Vicki bribed Briana with the house. Briana jokes that it was a good bribe, but no. She says that just because her mother helps her, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t work hard, and people don’t realize that. Shannon gets called on the carpet for saying that Vicki bribed her, and she apologizes, because it’s sincere when it comes from her.

Since we can’t get away from it, they talk about Brooks some more. Apparently, there’s been some problems regarding integrity and the cancer charity Vicki was involved with, and the website has been taken down. Everyone puts in their two cents, and it actually doesn’t sound like Vicki did anything wrong, and there was some kind of opt-in if you wanted emails about insurance. They were also giving out some kind of bracelets and I laugh when Heather demands to know if people can get a bracelet without putting in their information. No, Heather, they just guess at what address they should send the bracelet. When Vicki points this out, more nicely than I just did, Heather isn’t sure how to react because she’s so obviously acting like a moron.

Before an argument can start, Andy thanks Briana for coming. Tamra follows her out. Tamra tries to talk to Briana about Kelly, saying Vicki traded Brooks for Kelly. Briana says Vicki needs someone in her corner. For the love of Jesus that you claim to follow, Tamra, leave this sick woman who just got off a double-shift alone. On stage, Kelly and Vicki sweat not to abandon one another.

We see some of Kelly’s malapropisms. We move on to her shock and offense tour, and see clips of her being incredibly nasty. We see the mess in Ireland with Tamra, and I wonder what I’d do if someone insulted how I mother my dogs. Probably not what Tamra did. Heather says that Kelly’s M.O. is behave badly, apologize, and say I’m not really like that. Kelly says there’s no shame in her game. Really. She says that. She needs to read more. She says at the time, she felt sorry, but not anymore. A viewer asks if Kelly has a drinking problem because all of the altercations involve alcohol. Kelly claims she doesn’t have a drinking problem. She says she went to court mandated AA classes after she hit her ex-husband to stop him from fighting. I literally LOL.

Kelly brings up Heather saying she’s not filming unless they get rid of Kelly. We flash back to the sushi dinner. Heather says she was horrified, but Kelly tells her that she’s not the boss. Kelly thinks they should call her “bossy pants” instead of “fancy pants.” Heather says the last time she’d seen her BIL alive was at that restaurant, so she had bad memories of it to begin with. She doesn’t elaborate on this, so I wonder, did they have an argument? Did he choke on a fish bone? What happened?  She says the place literally has paper thin walls, and it was her visceral reaction. We see a clip of her saying that she doesn’t care if they fire her, she’s taking off her mic and she’s done. Kelly points out the others who throw around the f-bomb. She does have a point. It’s funny though, how we all react badly to that one word.

Andy asks Kelly if she stands behind her behavior. She says they were in a private room and doesn’t seem to grasp how thin the walls were. Andy asks why she apologized at the time. She says how she was treated later changed her viewpoint about them. Kelly is asked if her daughter sees the show, but she says no. Andy asks Meghan what she thinks. She’s been pretty quiet for the most part, probably contemplating childbirth. She says that Kelly gets defensive, and when she gets defensive she plays dirty. Kelly says she didn’t know there were rules, which makes me laugh, but the rules are called common courtesy and she does get nasty when she drinks. Heather talks over Meghan and Kelly, telling Kelly about her pattern again. Kelly tells Heather that her pattern is interrupting her and interloping.

The Ireland insult to Tamra is brought up. Heather says that when she criticized Kelly’s parenting on the bus, Kelly got upset. Kelly says Heather didn’t apologize. Heather says she is now. Heather says the difference between them is she learns from her mistakes, and it won’t happen again. Kelly says she apologizes for saying what she did about Tamra’s daughter. A viewer brings up how many times Tamra has said similar things to other cast members and we see flashbacks. Tamra says none of those things were okay for her to have said, and she was hurt by Kelly’s remark. They go over Tamra pushing Kelly in the store since we didn’t see it. Everyone talks at once and Andy tells them to stop it.

A viewer says Kelly has an anger issue, but doesn’t Tamra have one too? Tamra says she’s a bad drunk. Kelly says apologies are flying. Vicki thinks everyone should just move on. Kelly says if she hadn’t had anger management lready, she would have thumped Tamra. I might pay to see that. She says she didn’t and restrained herself.

Andy asks if Vicki is the Buddha of the OC. Shannon says not in her part of town. Andy asks about Kelly being mean and far shaming on social media. Shannon brings up a picture Kelly posted along with the words “keep eating.”

Next time – The Reunion, Part Three – Tamra and Vicki tangle, Tamra calls Vicki and “old woman” (don’t worry, Tamra, you’ll get there), Vicki claims to have proof that David beat Shannon, Shannon walks off stage, and Heather tells Vicki that she should beg Shannon for forgiveness which doesn’t go over too well.

💋 A note about The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Mama Joyce and I have the same ombre sweater. In different colors, but it’s the same. I don’t know how to feel about this.

October 31, 2016 – GH on the Fly & an OC Good-by

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

The condensed (for me) version, because Halloween. The spellcheck also isn’t working on my site today, so forgive any typos.

Valentin says he’s a free man. Must be a technicality. He has a document that grants him unconditional release from the Greek authorities. Of course everyone thinks he’s lying. He pled self-defense.

Valentin likes Ava’s new hairdo. I like that he noticed she changed it. He’s definitely smooth. He wants to become acquainted with his sister Alexis and the rest of the family, but they’re not receptive. Dante calls Jordan and yep, Valentin is free on a legal technicality. Called it.

Love, love, love Kiki’s steampunk outfit. I have one of tose little hats. I’ll bet she got it at Spirit Halloween.

Is Morgan really here?

Nina meets Charlotte, who has run away from Griff. Griff has been looking for her and explains to Nina that she’s his daughter. Nina brings out a bunch of costumes for Charlotte to pick from. She’d been hoping to look after Nathan’s daughter, but realizes that’s out the window. Griff says Claudette is missing, but they don’t know the story.

The Floating Rib is rocking. Franco the mime wonders why Elizabeth is there with Jason when she said she was spending time with the boys. Elizabeth tells him that Jason is there to pick up Jake. Franco tells Jason to let Monica know she’s welcome for him saving GH. Jason and Jake leave, and Elizabeth asks if Franco has to assume the worst when she’s with Jason. Apparently so. Dillon shows up as Elvis.

Sonny tells Morgan he’s sorry, and Morgan forgives him. They hug, and Morgan isn’t Morgan any more, but a guy who tells Sonny to get off of him.

Elizabeth tells Franco that she and Json will always be connected – it’s part of the package. She asks if Franco would like her jealous of Nina. Franco tells her that he feels like they’re too polite together.

Everyone is annoyed about Valentin skating on the murder charges. He says it’s Ava’s word against his. He claims he shot Nicholas in self=defense, and Doc was an accident.

Kiki says that seeing Dillon reminds her of everything she did wrong. Dillon says she’s not responsible for what happened, but she says she’s responsible for what led up to it. Like she should have babysat Morgan. She says she was disloyal for being happy with Dillon. She asks him to go.

The kid at Sonny’s came on a dare. His friends encouraged him to go trick-or-treating at “the godfather’s house.” Sonny roughs him up for pretending to be Morgan and the kid calls him crazy.

Doc brings up the attempted kidnappng of Spencer, and Valentin has an answer for that too. The deal he struck got rid of all charges in the US. Anna is taking the case. Valentin says this is his home now. He hands Alexis the papers.

Charlotte freaks out at The Floating Rib, wanting mommy.

Sonny tells the kid he disreapected him and his son. Jason comes in just in time, and the kid skedaddles. Jason tells Sonny he’s checking on him. Sonny says he’s doing just great; his son is gone and he’ll never see him again. For a moment, he thought everything was okay, but Morgan is dead because of something he did.

Nina explains how Charlotte changed fathes to Dillon.

Ava tells Valentin that  he’d won; he didn’t have to shoot Nicholas. Valentin insists it was an accident. Laura givs the papers back to Valentin. He says they can live together peacefully and become friends. Lulu asks what he wants.

Charlotte screams like a banshee, and says she hates Griff. Elizabeth intervenes. She says blah blah, mom loves her, but daddy does too. Charlotte is dressed as a nurse and Elizabeth says that she’s a nurse too. She works with her daddy who’s a doctor.

Jason tells Sonny about a guy named Christoph, who’s bomb signature matches the one in the car. He says the cops are trying to link him to Sonny, and if they’re chasing a false lead, it could work to his advantage. Sonny says it won’t change anything about his responsibility. Morgan, who Sonny sees on the couch, tells him that he told Morgan to take responsibility, not it’s his turn.

Valentin says he’s sorry; he has childhood abandonment issues. He wants to prove himself to the family. He says he’ll give them some time to process things and leaves.

Griff thanks Elizabeth, who says she’s an old hand at tantrums. Griff says he’s going to deal with explaining about Clauette tomorrow.

 

Franco tells Kiki that he can’t turn his back on Elizabeth for a second; she’s not even safe with a priest. Kiki tells him to quit being insecure and jealous; he’s sounding like Morgan. Franco says yeah, and Morgan had nothing to worry about.

Franco makes a crack about Griff to Elizabeth. She’s like, what the hell, she was just helping a friend and he’s acting like a moron. He says they’ve been set back a few times. Elizabeth says he knows how she feels, but he says he wants to know if what’s happening between them is real. She asks if he’s talking about sex, and Franco says no, yes, are they going to have it?

Not-really-there Morgan tells Sonny he has to make it right. Jason asks how much Sonny has had to drink, and Sonny says not enough to pass out. He tells Jason that he’s a bad man with many failings, but not a coward. He has to live with a son being dead because of him, and he might not be sober, but he’ll be sane. Jason tells him to get some sleep and offers to stay. Vision Morgan tells Sonny to send him away. He knows what he has to do. He has his piece.

Franco tells Elizabeth that he has real feelings and needs to know if what they have is real. Elizabeth says she wants to really, really get to know him, and when the time is right, they’ll most likely end up in bed. She lays a tremendous kiss on him.

Ava tells Laura that Valentin murdered Nicholas without a second thought, and thinks he’d murder anyone who got in his way. Doc asks about Spencer. Laura says he’s safe, but the school is stepping up security. She’s shocked about the house being stolen out from underneath her. She says if he thinks they can get along, he’s insane. Sam tells Alexis she’s sorry, but Alexis says she needs to know what she’s dealing with. Dante calls Griff.

Griff tells Charlotte that in spite of his mistakes, God gave her to him, and he’s keeping her safe.

Valentin enters the office at Crimson, and tells Nina hello.

Sonny tells Jason to leave; he’s going to sleep. Jason says Max is outside, and he’s just a cell phone call away if Sonny needs anything. They say good-by.

Spectre Morgan gives a thumbs up. Sonny calls Diane. He wants to know what he owns legally offshore, and tells her he wants to get his affairs in order. In-Sonny’s-head Morgan tells him good-by and disappears.

I have no clue what’s happening tomorrow, because Halloween.

The Real Housewives of the OC

Meghan wants to be with her family when she and Jim learn the sex of their baby. The doctor has helped them have a cake made, where the inside icing will either be pink or blue. They cut the cake and it’s pink. In her interview, Meghan says she’d like to give Jim a boy, but she’s excited about having a girl. We flash back to her IVF treatments and how difficult the whole process has been.

Vicki and Briana check out Briana’s new house. The renovations are taking forever and they’ve totally blown the budget. Briana has brought her interior designer along. In her interview, Briana says, as usual, her mom is overly involved. They talk about Tamra’s party, and Vicki says they’ve had a roller coaster relationship for years. Briana thinks she’s being used as a buffer, but she’s okay with it because she cares about both of them.

Shannon talks to David about the party for Tamra, and how Vicki and Kelly are invited because Tamra wanted them on the guest list. David isn’t thrilled about having Vicki over and neither is Shannon. David says he’ll just suck it up. They’re taking one for the Tamra team.

Everyone gets ready for the party. Things are going well with Kelly and Michael. She says he’s been looking after her concerns and is attentive, and maybe you can teach an old dog new tricks. Meghan comes by, and Kelly says Shannon thinks she owes her an apology, even though they were both wrong. Meghan thinks Kelly should just apologize first. In her interview, she says she saw a side of Heather on the Ireland trip that she didn’t like, and that she can be coniving. She tells Kelly that she can give low blows, like telling Shannon she had hair on her chin. Kelly jokes that it wasn’t mean, she was just helping a sister out. To our discredit, Meghan and I both laugh.

Shannon tells her makeup person that she’s not into seeing Vicki or Kelly at the party. She says Vicki crossed the line and you never know what you’re going to get with Kelly.

Tamra is pissed because Vicki said something about Eddie a hundred years ago, even though Eddie couldn’t care less. In her interview, it sounds like she’s being angry in retrospect about things that Vicki has done. Eddie gives Tamra a pair of Louis Vuitton shoes and now I’m wondering if he’s gay. JUST KIDDING. I think.

Terry asks Heather what the party is about, and immediately Heather starts gossiping about Vicki and Kelly. We flash back to how some of the girls foisted alcohol on Kelly in Ireland. Heather says she’s seen who they are and she gets it. Whatever that means. Heather has contributed a donut tower to the party.

The donut tower collapses and Tamra scarfs up the donuts on the ground, since she’s been deprived for so long. Really just kidding this time. But only because she’s not there yet.

Vicki has written a nice apology letter to Shannon, saying she’s in a better place and hopes they can make a fresh start and move on. She tells Briana that Shannon will never take any responsibility, so she’s willing to do it. In her interview, Vicki says she doesn’t want any conflict with the girls any more, and just wants to move on. It will never happen. Never. They are totally in the stuck position with Vicki. Except for Meghan, who threw me for a loop this season. Maybe she just needed to be more hormonal.

The honored guest arrives. Ha-ha! There’s one of those things you put your head through to take a picture and it’s Tamra’s body. Everyone attacks the donuts. Tamra and Mia talk about her next fitness goal. No rest for the wicked. Heather and Shannon are all kissy-kissy. Shannon tells Heather about the donut tower, and we flash back to the cake bow incident. I’d forgotten about that. Another time when I thought Heather overreacted. Tamra makes nasty remarks about a nice text Vicki sent to her. She teleports across the room the second Vicki enters the party. Vicki gives Shannon the card. In her interview, Shannon isn’t pleased. She doesn’t like that Vicki couldn’t “woman up” and tell her in person. Well, some people write better than they talk. I don’t think anything would be enough though. Vicki hunts down Tamra and asks if she got the text, and Tamra pretends she didn’t. What an a-hole she is.

Meghan, Kelly and Michael arrive. Meghan tells everyone it’s a girl. Vicki asks her about names and such. Tamra, Heather and Shannon sit apart from them. Shannon says it’s been 15 days since they came back from Ireland and now Vicki is apologizing. Vicki tells Kelly that the clique is clique-ing. Kelly says when you have a party, you should want to make everyone comfortable. I agree. I don’t get why Tamra wanted her there if she was just going to be rude. I also don’t like the public confrontation stuff.

Meghan joins the clique. Shannon gripes about the late apology. Meghan talks about Kelly wanting to apologize, but feeling like she was being ganged up on, and that they were trying to get her drunk. Shannon jokes about a conspiracy theory, and wonders if Kelly thinks she’s involved with JFK’s death too. Meghan tells Heather that Kelly thinks she’s meddling, and says Heather was whispering about her. Of course Heather justifies what she did. Meghan says she likes Kelly. Healther says it’s so vile, Vicki and Kelly belong together.

I’ve decided that Tamra should invest in a dictionary since she can’t come up with anything better to say than the f-word. I’m not opposed to it, but she’s like Johnny One-Note. Any time she doesn’t like what someone says, it’s an immediate f-u.

Tamra has ice-breaking gifts that are also an f-u to Vicki. What did I just say? They’re “mug shots” of each woman, with their charges underneath them. Kelly’s is public drunkeness; Shannon’s, judgy eyes; Meghan’s, concealing a child; Heather’s, being too fancy. Since Vicki realized she wasn’t wanted, she wandered off to the bar, but Tamra tracks her down. Her charge is lying. Vicki acts like it’s a big joke. In her interview, Tamra says she’s going to put it on a bumper sticker next. What is wrong with this woman? I probably say that at least three times during every Wives episode. In her interview, Vicki says Tamra is trying to bait her, and she’ll be polite, but the shirt is going in the garbage.

Kelly wants to talk to Shannon about their “miscommunication.” Shannon says she’d made amends with Kelly, and then Kelly dared to say she had hair on her chin. Like that came out of the blue. Shannon says this is the first time she’s heard Kelly say that she’s wrong, and talks about the lies that could hurt her children, dragging Vicki into it. Kelly says she was wrong, but felt backed into a corner. Shannon says what the two of them repeated wasn’t true, but now it’s out there. Heather tries putting in her two cents, but Kelly calls her an interloper and wants to know why Heather is after her. Heather says that Kelly lashes out and says mean things; saying horrible stuff and then apologizing is her algorithm. Please. Fancy isn’t the word. Kelly talks about Heather saying she was having a mental breakdown, and Heather says she is. Kelly calls her insecure for interfering in other people’s business. Heather says she wanted to like her.

Vicki starts to walk away and Heather says don’t move. Really, she says that. She tells Vicki she has things to answer for.Vicki says she’s not going on the witness stand again, and Tamra tells her to quit talking about people. She says Vicki is insecure because she dated a d-bag, and Vicki agrees that she did. Tamra says bottom line, Vivki needs to stop talking about people and STFU.

Vicki tells Tamra to stop talking about her. We flash back to Tamra talking about Vicki. Vicki says she’s not apologizing anymore. In her interview, she says if you don’t like people talking about you, stop talking about people; it’s that simple. Vicki tells Tamra that she doens’t want any more mean girl stuff, and heads for the door. Shannon stops her, saying she can write an apology, but can’t say it? Vicki says sorry. Shannon says she draws the line at her children. She tells Vicki that they had fun together in Ireland, but then she realized she was back in bed with the devil. Why does it always have to be so dramatic? Vicki says she’s worried about her. Shannon says that she and David renewed their vows and they’re fine. She saysshe and Vicki are done, even though she has empathy for her. Vicki is pretty apathetic through Shannon’s whole tirade, and says fine, have a nice life. In her interview, she says she doesn’t want to be around toxic people anymore.

Shannon and Heather talk about Vicki. In her interview, Heather says sometimes relationships aren’t salvagable and it’s time to move on. She doesn’t know the future with either Kelly or Vicki.

It’s the finale, so they have the blurbs about what’s happening now, along with a few parting sentences. Meghan feels that she’s not so sure she wants her child exposed to this nonsense, and is thinking about a permanent move back to St. Louis.

Briana approaches Tamra and asks if she’ll talk to Vicki. Tamra says she will for Briana. Briana thinks Vicki’s deflection and lack of taking responsibility have cost a lot in regard to her friendships. Vicki apologizes to Tamra for repeating a rumor. Tamra says that Vicki continuously talks about people, and it’s vicious, like her saying David beat Shannon. Vicki says she worries about Shannon. Tamra trots away from her, saying Shannon is fine and Vicki is a bitch. Her final Christian parting shot. Vicki tells Briana, let’s go. We flash back to Vicki’s apologies at the beginning of the year. She tells Briana that she thought they cold move forward, but she’s tired of their accusations and she’s done.

Tamra says sometimes you have to let people go, and a lot of blah blah blah.

Vicki tells Briana that she hates conflict, but every time she thinks it’s done, something else happens. The end blurbs aren’t very interesting, although Briana was diagnosed with Lupus, so at least that puts her health issue to rest.

Next time, the reunion. Same advice as for New Jersey – duck and run.

🎃 Hope everyone had a happy and safe Halloween! 🎃

October 24, 2016 – GH’s Valentin has a Long Reach, the OC’s Tamra has a Big Win & I have a Film Recommend

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Sonny asks Carly to come home with him, saying they need each other now more than ever. They almost kiss and the doorbell rings. It’s Dante. He was at the crash site. Carly asks if he found any trace of Morgan. He pulls out an evidence bag.

Finn watches Hayden sleep. He tells her it’s time to wake up; it’s the afternoon. She jumps up in fighting mode.

Anna looks at Valentin’s dossier. Griff asks if she knows him. She says no, but something is familiar. She’s never met him, but she recognizes something about his face. Laura approaches, having overheard them. Anna introduces her to Griff. Charlotte comes over to the table, and Anna explains to Laura that there’s a connection between Valentin and Claudette’s mother. Laura says from her experience, Valentin will stop at nothing to get what he wants.

Claudette insists to Nathan that the room had been ransacked. Nathan picks up a bracelet. It’s Maxie’s. He asks what the hell is going on and where is Maxie?

Maxie talks to herself, saying it’s not her fault The Beard is incompetent and took her by mistake. She says this isn’t the way it’s going to end. She’s the daughter of Frisco and Felicia Jones and there’s got to be a way out.

Dante takes the jade necklace that Carly gave Morgan out of the bag. He tells Carly to keep it since they don’t need it as evidence. She tells them how she’d told him that it promotes peace and wisdom. (Well, that didn’t work.) Sonny asks if Dante has any evidence that might show Morgan is still alive. Carly asks if that’s possible, but Dante says they have nothing, although they’re continuing to canvas the area. He says they’re going to bring whoever did this to justice, and asks if Carly needs any help with the funeral. Carly wonders if there’s going to be enough time for them to get something they can actually bury.

Hayden asks what Finn is doing there. He says technically he lives there. She apologizes, saying when she wakes up in a strange room, her first instinct is to defend herself. He gives her some aspirin and says she should feel better in about a half hour. I dunno about that. She tells Finn that he’s a prince among men and I’m surprised he doesn’t make a joke about Nicholas. She says she’s a little fuzzy about last night and he shows her the check, asking if it rings any bells.

Laura tells Griff that regardless of the situation, they’ve been given the best gift anyone can receive, meaning a child. Doc arrives and she excuses herself. He tells her she looks great, but she thinks she dressed for dinner, not lunch. He says if all goes well, maybe they can have dinner next time. I was thinking if it goes well, lunch could turn into dinner. Lots of missed dialogue opportunities today.

Griff wonders why Valentin seems familiar to Anna. She says there’s something about his eyes, but since he’s been accused of just about everything, she’d remember if she had met him. She says he’s a mercenary, lethal, and smart, since up until Cassadine Island, he flew under the radar. Griff feels badly about Claudette, and blames himself for her turning to Valentin.

Nathan asks Claudette how Maxie’s bracelet ended up there, but she has no clue. She says she’s been busy introducing Charlotte to her father, and Nathan says, which one? BA-DUM-CHH! Nathan puts two and two together, and realizes that someone must have kidnapped Maxie thinking she was Claudette.

Maxie gets out of the duct tape and runs upstairs. The door is locked. She needs to pick the lock and looks for something to use. Did she turn that furnace off? That would be my first move. She finds a cell phone that has power.

Nathan calls the hotel office to get security footage. He explains that Maxie is missing and the hotel was her last known location. Dante shows up and says Maxie’s car is still in the parking lot. Maxie calls Nathan’s phone.

Doc makes up something crazy on the menu to see if Laura is listening. She tells him sorry; she heard Anna talking about Valentin and it’s distracted her.

Griff fills Anna in on what happened between him, Claudette and Nathan. He wonders how their lives would be different if he’d been supportive of her. Anna wonders why Claudette didn’t tell him that she was pregnant.

Nathan asks whose phone she’s using, but she doesn’t know. He says he’ll come and get her, but she doesn’t know where she is either. She says she’s in a basement with no windows, and the door is locked. He asks her if she noticed anything on the drive, and she says she was in the trunk of the car. Nathan tells her they’ll trace the call, but she says she doesn’t think she can wait. The Beard broke something and gas is leaking into the room. I still can’t believe the daughter of Frisco and Felicia Jones can’t figure out something to do there. There’s a lot of stuff on those shelves. She should be MacGyvering this.

Hayden tells Finn that scamming is in her blood…or not. She has to keep reminding herself she’s Jeff Webber’s daughter, not Raymond Berlin’s. She asks what Finn is going to use the money for and how many test tubes it will buy. He says he can’t accept the check.

Sonny tells Carly he was wrong and he knows it, and he’d change it if he could, but it doesn’t mean they can’t honor their son’s memory together. Carly says a burned necklace is all they have to bury, and unless he can go back in time, she can’t help him. She has nothing for him and can’t grieve with him or even look at him.

Kiki enters with what is sure to be bad timing. She’s sorry about Morgan, but also about all the times she hurt him, and every stupid argument they ever had. Most of all she hates that before Morgan died, he was in pain because of her. She wants them to know that she loved him and always will. Carly asks what she meant by causing him pain on his last night. She wants to know her son’s final moments.

Hayden is shocked Finn doesn’t want to accept the check after all she went through to get it. He says it was an impressive feat, but Evan wrote the check because he thought he slept with her. He asks what if Evan comes back for seconds, or worse, realizes she tricked him. She says men are easy to fool, and he’s probably bragging to his buddies right now. She says the last thing she expected was Finn breaking down the door and it was pretty awesome. She remembers accusing Finn of wanting to sleep with her himself.

Laura doesn’t want to think about Valentin. She says he’s in prison and Spencer is safe in school. She wants to concentrate on what really matters, their date. Doc says that works for him.

Charlotte interrupts Anna and Griff, saying she wants her mommy. Griff wonders what’s taking so long.

Nathan tries to get Maxie to remember anything about the drive – how long it was and if they drove over anything like train tracks. She says it was smooth the entire way, but recalls hearing “that annoying song.” She tells Nathan it’s a place they drive past where he always wants to get hot dogs. The phone goes dead.

Sonny asks what Carly is doing, and she says she needs to know. Kiki says Morgan thought there was something going on between her and Dillon. He thought he saw them having sex, and even though she’s never had sex with Dillon, it set him off. Carly says she saw them kiss in the park and asks if Kiki was sneaking around. Kiki admits she was going to break up with Morgan. Carly makes her say it louder. Kiki says she went to their house to do it face to face, but Morgan wasn’t home. Carly says she can’t blame herself for his death, but she can blame herself for not being there for him in his hour of need, and for doing the one thing that Carly asked her not to. I hate to point this out to Carly, but Kiki might have been there for him if he’d bothered answering his phone or was at home instead of the bar. Carly says that Kiki swore she loved Morgan and would stand by him. She insults Kiki and slaps her. She says she wants Kiki out. Sonny gathers Kiki into his arms and hugs her.

Hayden says she can’t believe she suggested that Finn wanted to sleep with her. Finn says alcohol lowers inhibitions, and he can’t count the times he’s woken up and wanted to be put out of his misery. She says go ahead and tell her he’s not interested.

Laura tells Doc that there’s only one thing they can do – schedule another date. They have to keep doing it until they get it right. Aw, I’m glad she’s trying with him again.

Griff wonders where Claudette is and says he’ll go check. Anna plays a game on her phone with Charlotte.

Maxie is passed out, but Nathan arrives in time and brings her upstairs.

Claudette is packing. Griff knocks at the door. She hides the suitcase and answers. She says she thought someone was following her, but it was a false alarm. He wants her to go back downstairs; Charlotte is wondering what happened. She says Charlotte will be fine. Griff is a wonderful father who will take good care of her. He asks if she’ going to leave her daughter and run.

Nathan tells Maxie to come around for Georgie’s sake.

Kiki says everything Carly says is true. Sonny says Carly’s pain is bigger than anything Kiki has done or could do. Kiki says she screwed up, but she loved Morgan. Sonny says she cared for him more than he cared for himself. He’s happy that Morgan experienced that kind of love.

Griff asks how Claudette can abandon her daughter? She says it’s the only way to keep her safe, and that Valentin’s reach is long, even in jail. Griff says he got Anna to help them and asks Claudette to trust him. She says okay, she will. He says let’s go and she goes to get her purse. While he’s looking elsewhere, she smacks Griff over the head with a paperweight and grabs her stuff. She says she’s sorry and take care of Charlotte. She leaves him there unconscious.

Finn says to be clear, Hayden just asked him to confirm he has no romantic interest in her. She says she can take it; she’s the type who likes the band-aid ripped off fast. He says he is interested, very interested, but it doesn’t change that the two of them pursuing a relationship is a bad idea, because he won’t be around. She says she just got him a big check, but he says it doesn’t work that way. (That’s not how any of this works!) Hayden tells him that she knows she’s taking a risk, but in case he didn’t notice, she likes taking risks. They kiss.

Sonny says Morgan wanted the best for Kiki and would want her to move on. She thanks him and leaves. Carly asks Sonny if he thinks she wasn’t being fair. He says he knows she’s grieving, but Kiki did lead Morgan on and quit on him. He adds that she’s a kid though, and it does no good to tear her down. He says they know who she’s really mad at. She says she’s mad at everyone, right down to PCU expelling Morgan without giving him a chance to explain (because the rules don’t apply to him). It changes nothing though – she won’t get to hear him laugh anymore, or get to hold her baby anymore. She says she can’t do this with Sonny, because when she looks at him, she sees the man who killed her son. She tells him to go. Dammit!

Hayden says she had Finn all wrong. He’s willing to take risks too. He says she ain’t seen nuthin’ yet. They get busy.

Griff comes to. He realizes what happened.

Anna asks Charlotte if they should check on Griff.

Nathan cancels the ambulance, but wants Maxie to be checked out. Dante goes to help find the perp. Maxie asks how Nathan found her, and he says via the hot dog place.

Griff calls the hotel office and asks for the surveillance camera to be checked . They’re being kept very busy today. Anna comes to the door, and Griff says he guesses Claudette is skipping town.

Claudette gets on a plane. The seat next to her is empty. You know what’s going to happen, right?

Doc says he’s been thinking about something that Laura said when she got the key. If she pursued it or not, it would haunt her. Laura says Helena is dead, Valentin is in jail, and no one can touch her. After all these years, apparently Laura still lives in a fool’s paradise.

Claudette hears someone singing softly. Valentin sits next to her. He says she has something she stole from him. (Hmm…could Charlotte be his?)

Tomorrow, Nina is surprised Julian is still alive, Alexis apologizes to Sonny, and Ava is concerned about being killed.

The Real Housewives of the OC

I’ve pretty much decided I don’t like anyone on this show. I don’t mind Kelly, but she needs to stay away from alcohol. She’s a big girl and shouldn’t feel pressured by the others to drink. Not that it excuses them from being the d-bags they were last week. Vicki is harmless, but I don’t know what her problem is that she sleepwalks through the drama and pretends it doesn’t exist. The both of them seem like they mean well, even if ultimately they cause a ruckus. I can’t say that about the others.

On the bus to the airport, Heather says, I’m rubber you’re glue. Actually, she declares that nothing Kelly says can hurt her, because Kelly is trash. In her interview, Meghan says she sees how Kelly has become an easy target for the women to prod and see what they can get out of her. OMG – Meghan is suddenly the wise one. She wants to stand up for Kelly, but doesn’t know exactly what happened. Shannon starts screeching at Vicki for not contributing to the conversation, if that’s what we’re calling it. Kelly feels that Vicki abandoned her and Kelly lets fly some things that Vicki told her about Shannon, one of them being that Vicki is afraid of David because he beats his wife.

Heather gets up like the schoolteacher she is, finger wagging, and says that’s enough. Shannon stars bawling and saying he does not. Apparently this is the secret that Vicki was holding onto a couple of episodes ago. Tamra jumps in, saying Vicky has said things about Eddie, and literally screams F-U in Vicki’s face, like two inches away. Tamra claims that Vicki said Eddie is gay. I don’t remember her ever saying that, but now that she mentions it…just kidding. I think. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. In her interview, Heather says Vicki shouldn’t have told Kelly anything, even though Kelly is the one that blurted it out. In her interview, Meghan says she’s disappointed in Heather, who’s deflecting her own role in the situation. I know the feeling.

Back in the OC, Shannon is unpacking. She’s upset that one of the best trips of her life was ruined on the airport bus. I feel sorry for her if that was one of the best trips of her life even before then. Tamra comes by the new house. She has to concentrate on the competition and doesn’t know if she’s ready. She told her mom about what went on during the trip. Shannon asks what her status with Vicki is. Tamra says Eddie just laughed it off, but she feels like Vicki wants to present her as being in a bad marriage. Shannon is like, ditto. She says Vicki wants to “attack their men” because of Brooks.

Vicki tells Briana that it was a great trip and they all got along well (!). I’m not sure if Vicki is on medication or has some ability to be in a different dimension. She tells Briana about Tamra thinking she said Eddie is gay, but doesn’t remember saying anything like that. In her interview, Briana says her mother is a dirty fighter. Briana tells Vicki that when other people are hurting, she only focuses on it for a minute, and then turns things back to herself. Vicki says she wants peace, and Briana says she needs to acknowledge it when she hurts someone’s feelings, but Vicki is tired of apologizing. It’s like they’re having two different conversations.

Tamra says she’s putting Vicki out of her mind. Shannon says she has nothing to say to Vicki. If she sees her, she’s leaving the room. Oooh, there’s a threat.

Kelly talks to Michael about the women provoking her on the way to the airport. She says Heather is the puppet and everyone is the master, but Willy Wonka would tell her to strike that and reverse it. She says she was pushed and repeated what Vicki told her about David beating the crap out of Shannon. Michael is like, whoa, and asks if it’s true, but Kelly says she doesn’t know and it’s none of her business. Good one. She says she stuck by Vicki when the rest of the women put her through crap, but then Vicki was silent when she needed support. Michael says maybe Kelly should take baby steps and mend things with Vicki. He says every relationship is different and she’ll have to have a different plan for each. For once, he actually makes sense. It’s like the bizarro OC.

Tamra gets her competition outfits – a bejeweled turquoise bikini, and a pink and black leather bikini bottom and crop top. She tells Mia about what happened on the trip with Kelly, leaving out a lot of her own part in it. In her interview, she says enough is enough with Vicki. Mia tells her that she has to forgive as many times as it takes. We flash back to Tamra and Vicki apologizing to one another at various times. Tamra says she wants to forgive Vicki about as much as she wants to put on the tiny clothing. Which is not at all.

Kelly meets Meghan, who is wearing an awesome faux fur vest. Meghan asks how she’s been doing since the trip. In her interview, Meghan says Kelly’s behavior wasn’t acceptable, but she’s not going to ditch her. Kelly wonders what she did, and Meghan says she wasn’t exactly tactful. Kelly asks if Meghan thinks what the others said to her was okay. Meghan says no, but the power is in Kelly’s hands to move on. She tells Kelly that she should have just ridden it out. Kelly wants to talk to Tamra first, since she’s reached out before, and is trying to be a better person. Meghan tells Kelly she’ll always be there to support her.

Kelly invites Vicki over. Vicki says she thought they had an amazing trip (sound of cuckoo clock in my head). Kelly says she felt like Vicki wasn’t the same. She’s defended Vicki, but Vicki didn’t return the favor. Vicki says she wanted to stay neutral and let Kelly to fight her own battle. How nice of her. She says if she took Kelly’s side, the other women would turn on her, but if she took their side, she was abandoning Kelly. They talk about Shannon and Tamra encouraging Kelly to drink. Vicki says she told Kelly not to drink, but we flash back and that isn’t the case at all. Quite the opposite. Kelly talks about Heather putting in her two cents and how she was the puppet master. Vicki says not with her, but Kelly isn’t buying it. Kelly says Vicki went through it, so why didn’t she say something when they ganged up on her? She says she was backed into a corner and no one was defending her. Vicki says she was mending fences and she doesn’t want to be excluded or have Kelly excluded. In her interview, Vicki admits she was wrong. She apologizes to Kelly and says she was just recovering from her own hell. In her interview, Kelly says she doesn’t like what Vicki did, but she understands her position.

Vicki calls Tamra. Tamra remarks that the trip ended badly. Vicki thinks alcohol fueled a lot of it, and that Shannon was out of line. Tamra says Shannon was hurt, and Vicki says they all were. Ugh! It’s one of those “we were all drinking” excuses. Vicki asks if it’s okay if she comes to Tamra’s competition and the eating party afterward. In her interview, Tamra says she knows the Christian thing is to forgive, and decides Vicki can come.

Tamra meets Kelly for lunch. A lettuce leaf and a glass of water. In her interview, Tamra wants to move on with Kelly, but needs to know where her heart is. They talk about the competition and Tamra’s preparation. Kelly tells Tamra that she was 100% wrong. Tamra says when Kelly talked about her daughter, it put her in a bad place. Kelly says she didn’t want to hurt Tamra and apologizes. Tamra says she’s disappointed in herself, and had she not been drinking, she wouldn’t have pushed Kelly. They talk about forgiveness. The food comes, looking surprisingly more substantial than a lettuce leaf. Kelly tells Tamra that Vicki really loves her. Tamra says she’s over it. Kelly wonders why Shannon is so upset, and Tamra says Shannon once confided in Vicki, and Vicki needs to keep her mouth shut. Kelly talks about Shannon pressing the alcohol on her, but Tamra thinks she should apologize for repeating what Vicki said. Kelly is torn about Shannon, but says she’s tired of Heather being the puppetmaster and everyone seeming scared of her. Tamra tells Kelly they’re all going to be at the competition and she doesn’t want any drama. Kelly says she doesn’t want to screw anything up for Tamra. She tells Tamra to remember that if you’re not first, you’re last, which is what she tells her daughter. No wonder Kelly is messed up. That’s terrible to say, but she probably heard it herself growing up.

Tamra calls Shannon. She says Vicki called her and wants to go to the competition. She says Vicki told her that alcohol was the only thing that messed up the trip. Shannon says that Vicki needs to stop concocting stories. Even though I don’t think that was the whole problem, alcohol certainly contributed. Tamra says Vicki thinks they’re all hurt, but offered no apologies. She tells Shannon they should confront Vicki at the party. Shannon is down with that. Tamra moves on to telling her about lunch with Kelly. Shannon says if Tamra is working past it and wants Kelly at the party, no problem, but she’s not going to hang out with her.

Tamra reads her good luck texts on the way to the competition. She’s in the bikini division. Mia tells her to ask Jesus for strength and that she’s there to inspire other women. We flash back to the accident and Tamra’s recovery. Tamra says she’s worked so hard, she can’t let anything get in her way. She gets a final spray tan before the event starts. The girls arrive and it’s stupid how they’re all saying hello to Briana, but pretty much ignoring Vicki and Kelly. In her interview, Shannon says she’s keeping it to herself (whatever it is) because it’s Tamra’s night.

Tamra looks amazing. Eddie takes pictures and David’s eyes bug out of his head. We see a few of the other contestants. Shannon says since she’s met Tamra, she’s done a complete transformation. The other girls praise her, but my ears are still ringing from her hollering on the bus. Tamra should apologize to me. It’s down to Tamra and another girl. Tamra prays. We go to a commercial.

Tamra wins! She gets her trophy, and Eddie comes up on stage and hugs her. In her interview, Tamra says with all the things she can’t control in her life, she wanted to do something for herself. Everyone congratulates her and they take pictures. Tamra just wants a hamburger and some pizza. Vicki and Kelly come up for pictures, and Shannon walks away. Kelly says Shannon is ignoring her and Heather is icing her out.

Next time, the finale – Shannon has a party, a pile of donuts falls to the ground and Tamra eats them anyway (I made up the Tamra part), Meghan tries to talk to Heather, and Shannon confronts Vicki.

🎭 Recommended: Hamilton’s America in rotation on PBS. This is like seeing two documentaries in one. Lin-Manuel Miranda captured his musical’s journey from start to Tony Awards, and this is interspersed with historical discussion. There are interviews with everyone from historians to Hamilton cast members. And there are enough scenes from the play, that you won’t even need to see it. This is definitely worth a look, or two, or three. Fastest 82 minutes ever.

October 17, 2016 – GH is a Mob Cesspool & on the OC Mean Girls Rule

Standard

What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Julian thought Sonny would meet him with guns drawn, but Sonny says he’s never afraid to meet an enemy face to face. He asks if Julian is there to kill him.

Franco talks to himself about Elizabeth getting better and not needing him so much, while he does sketches of feet. There’s a knock at the door. Surprise! It’s Elizabeth.

Tracy confronts Lucy, telling her that GH is on the chopping block and she’s the executioner.

Curtis meets with TJ. He says he’s sorry about Morgan, but he knows TJ was one of the last ones to see him alive. TJ says he was worried about Morgan, but not scared. Curtis asks what he saw exactly.

Carly looks at a little ceramic turtle and cries. The doorbell rings. She says it’s not a good time, but it’s Jason. She lets him in and hugs him.

Tracy wants to know what Alan or her father would say about Lucy selling off GH to the highest bidder. Lucy says it’s the Quartermaines’ fault in the first place, due to Tracy’s deranged ex-husband.

Elizabeth brings Franco some Rice Krispy treats. He says he has no excuse for not tidying up his place, but lacks motivation. She looks through his drawings and finds one of her.

TJ says Morgan drinking was a warning sign. Curtis tells him that he did everything he could and got punched for it, but TJ thinks he should have been more aggressive. Curtis says he had no way of knowing what could happen, and no one could ask more of him than what he did. TJ says it’s not enough that Morgan lost his life, but on top of it, everything he was going to do will never happen. He adds that Sonny might have planted the bomb.Curtis asks if there’s an official investigation.

Carly tells Jason that she couldn’t even take her suitcase upstairs. She doesn’t know how to do this or get Josslyn through it. He asks if Josslyn knows about Sonny, and Carly says Kristina told her. He asks why she’s there, and she says where is she supposed to be? He tells her at home. She and Sonny lost their son and need each other.

Julian tells Sonny that he came to offer his condolences and Sonny laughs. Julian says just because they’re enemies doesn’t mean they can’t behave like human beings. He says he knows Sonny still holds grudge about Morgan working for him. Sonny says the only thing he wants to hear about is why Julian is there. Julian says the bomb that killed Morgan was meant to kill him.

Franco tells Elizabeth that he distracted himself by drawing when he stayed with her at the hospital. She tells him how appreciative she is that he stayed by her bedside and thanks him for making her look good in the drawing. He encourages her to paint again. She says her masterpiece will have to wait since her bank account says go back to work.

Tracy says Paul tried to kill her and Monica too. Lucy says she’s sorry, and of course Tracy isn’t responsible. Tracy wants to reopen the hospital instead of selling it. Lucy suggests she buy it.

TJ thinks Curtis should talk to Jordan. Curtis asks if he saw anything out of the ordinary that night. TJ wonders why he’s asking, and he says he’s just curious. TJ isn’t fooled and knows he must be doing a private investigation, but Curtis says he can’t talk about that.

Carly calls Nell to keep an eye on Avery. Nell overhears Sonny and Julian. Sonny tells Julian to take his best shot about planting the bomb. Julian says the business has already spilled enough blood on both sides, and they need to end the cycle. Sonny asks why he should care what Julian wants. Julian says it works to their mutual advantage. He’s not going to retaliate and neither is Sonny.

Jason tells Carly there’s a simple solution – go home. She says every time she looks at Sonny she thinks about how she won’t see Morgan again. Jason says he called off the hit. She says it doesn’t matter; he ordered it in the first place. Jason says no matter how it happened, Sonny lost his child too, and they need each other. She says all she needs is him. He tells her that he wishes he was enough, but he’s not. He wishes he could make everything all right, but he can’t and Sonny can.

Franco asks if GH is officially open. Elizabeth says she misses being there as a nurse, but she hasn’t heard anything and she needs a paycheck yesterday. The other hospitals in the area are staffed up, so she needs to widen her search. She talks about going to Rochester.

Lucy says Tracy could help future generations the way the hospital has helped her family. She tells Tracy to put her money where her mouth is and save it herself.

Curtis asks how TJ would know who he’s working for. TJ says he’s following the logic. He figures it’s either Julian or Sonny, but Curtis isn’t going to say. TJ is happy that Curtis is out there digging, because he wants to know too.

Sonny says Julian has been gunning for him since he got to Port Charles. He goes through what Julian has done since his arrival, and says he has nerve saying what he did, since he caused it. Julian says if Sonny comes after him, he’s coming after Carly, and who is Sonny willing to sacrifice? Is he willing to lose more children or his wife?

Carly says part of her wants to make Sonny feel better and let sonny do the same for her, but it won’t change anything. Morgan will still be dead. Jason asks if she’s willing to lose the father of her kids. She says Sonny killed her son. Jason says something about Sonny keeping his kids safe, and she says he didn’t keep Morgan safe.

Elizabeth tells Franco that she has no idea if and when the hospital will open again, and she needs an income. He asks if he can take her to lunch.

Carly tells Jason that she thought this time would be different. She says she thought Sonny would control the violence, but she was naive. She wonders why Morgan got in the car. She says Sonny never lied about who he is; she’s lied to herself. She says she’s a mother and her first instinct should be to protect her children, but she married a man who brought violence with him. She even didn’t listen when Michael spent a year in a coma, and she’s never going to forgive herself.

TJ says there’s a reason people think Sonny is responsible, but for a father to kill his own son…he trails off. Curtis says if anything good can come of it, it’s to appreciate what we have. He’s glad TJ is back in his life. They agree on getting together to take in a game. TJ leaves.

Tracy says she has to get back to ELQ. She says business has no respect for grief, and they didn’t fight to get the company back for it to flounder. Lucy says GH has to open soon or die. Tracy says two of the attacks remain unsolved, so they can’t reopen just yet.

Julian says he’s not there for retaliation; he’s asking that they lay down their arms. He tells Sonny to honor Morgan by stopping the war. Sonny asks how can Julian can talk about honor after what he’s done and says it’s offensive to him. Julian in his house, breathing his air is offensive, and the fact that his beautiful boy is dead is a violation of everything right and just. He tells Julian that if he doesn’t get out, He might balance out the scales right now and end Julian’s miserable life, because he can. Julian leaves and Sonny throws the fruit basket at the wall. Nell asks if he’s okay.

Elizabeth asks Tracy about the unsolved murders. She says Paul has an alibi for Bobbie and Lucas. There are no other suspects, so it’s not safe enough for GH to reopen. Tracy excuses herself to commune with her martinis. Elizabeth tells Franco that maybe she should talk to Patrick and Robin and check out what Berkeley has to offer. Franco says he has another solution that might keep her local.

Sonny apologizes. He forgot Nell was there. He tells her to go home and says he’s not good company right now. She thinks she should stay for Avery and he thanks her. She tells him to get some rest. He tells her he will and says he’s glad she’s there.

Carly tells Jason to go home to his own family, but he doesn’t want her to be alone. She says she wants to be a better mother to Josslyn than she was to Morgan. Jason says she’s a great mom and Morgan knew it. She asks why he’s dead then. Jason tells her because something completely unexpected and terrible happened. She says Sonny put a bomb in a car that killed her son. Jason says he called it off. Carly says not in time and he tells her that he’s going to investigate what happened. She says it won’t bring him back, but Jason says maybe if he finds out why it happened, it will give them closure.

Julian checks on Curtis’s progress. Curtis is like, you just hired me five minutes ago. He says he’s working on it. Julian says he wants assurances. Curits tells him that he’s starting with TJ. Julian says as long as he has the truth, he can take sonny down. He says he just saw Sonny and he’s a wreck. Curtis says wouldn’t Julian be? Julian says Sonny’s guard is down, and now the perfect time to investigate. Curtis says unless he’s too far gone and just comes gunning for him. Julian isn’t interested in taking a chance in killing Sonny, but wants to focus on rebuilding his life with Alexis and the kids, and making sure Sonny goes to prison.

Sonny goes to his empty bedroom with a decanter of booze. He looks at a picture of him with Carly. Nell knocks at the door, bringing him tea. She says she’s all set to read Avery her bedtime story. Sonny says Morgan used to read her stories and act out the parts, and she loved it. Nell says she’ll do her best. She tells him the tea is chamomile and supposed to be calming. He asks her to shut the door on her way out. He looks at family photos next to the bed.

Carly says Jason’s heart is in the right place, but she doesn’t care about any of it. In the morning she’s going to wake up, and for a few seconds forget that Morgan is dead. Then it will hit her that her baby is gone and her husband is responsible, and there’s no closure. Jason says he tried to save Morgan. He got him to trust him enough to pull over. He felt relieved that Morgan was suddenly not manic, but calm. It should have been okay, but he got out of the car and Jason should have been able to save him. Carly tells him how happy he was that she named Morgan after him. Jason named Michael after Sonny, so she thought it was perfect to name Morgan after him. He says he’s sorry. She shows him the turtle and says all she has left is a memory. She kissed it and a single tear falls.

Lucy tells Tracy she should consider her idea. Tracy says she had no idea Lucy was a jungle animal, stalking prey. Lucy reminds her of how she stole Alan from Monica. She says it wouldn’t be GH, but GH Quartermaine. Tracy drains her martini and gets up.

Franco tells Elizabeth that he might know someone who knows something about what really happened. Heather?

Tomorrow, Anna argues with Griff, Laura wants to sell Windemere, and Franco accuses Heather of the murders.

The Real Housewives of the OC

I thought it was a bad dream, but we’re still in Dublin. Oddly enough, the best thing about this trip is Meghan looking up her ancestors.

Vicki rings Heather, telling her she’s still in bed. She and Shannon stayed out late drinking. In her interview, Vicki says they reconnected and are on the cusp of being friends again. Heather tells her they’re going to a farm today. Vicki says “wonderful,” but I laugh because it doesn’t sound like she really thinks so.

Kelly and Meghan get room service. Kelly has an emotional hangover. Meghan tells her about what the geneologist said and how she can go to a certain town and will probably be related to everyone. Meghan has arranged for the girls to go to the farm that makes the cream for Bailey’s, but she’s going to the town today and Kelly is going to join her. She’ll have company and keep Tamra from killing Kelly.

Everyone else meets in the lobby. Tamra says they can sleep on the bus. Shannon explains about Kelly and Meghan going to find the O’Tooles. Vicki is moving pretty slow and manages to get her arm caught on the back door of the bus while putting her bag in.

Meghan and Kelly take a taxi to Greystones where Meghan’s ancestors are from. In her interview, Meghan says she can give the gift of her heritage to her baby, so she’s more interested in it than ever. An Irish pug sighting! Meghan stops several people, looking for relatives, but finds no one except people who aren’t from there. She says it’s harder than she thought. Pretty much everything is harder than Meghan thought.

Meanwhile, the rest of the girls get to the farm. Joe, the owner, says he heard they’ve come to help, and it’s time to milk the cows. Tamra asks if they don’t have machines that do that, and they do, but he still wants them to help. Vicki nearly steps in a cow-pie. I’m guessing there are a lot of those at the farm. Joe claims it’s a landmine. In her interview, Tamra says Vicki’s life story is stepping in sh*t.

The ladies put on boots and those one-piece Hazmat suits. Joe leads them to where the action takes place. Vicki says she doesn’t drink milk because it comes out of an animal. Since when is she a vegetarian or vegan or whatever? Heather asks if the cows ever poop while they’re being milked, and Joe says that’s why they’re wearing the suits.

Aww! Here come the cows. They get into position. Fancy Pants volunteers to go first. After leeches, this should be a breeze. She plugs the cow in. Vicki is next, but she’s obviously freaked and refuses to do it. A cow takes a weewee and the girls run. How did any of them have babies?

In Greystones, Meghan finally finds someone from the town. The woman’s mother was an O’Toole, but she has no information. Meghan shows her a picture of her mother and they do look a lot alike. Meghan is excited to meet a cousin, even though she doesn’t know for sure. Mission accomplished. They head to the farm.

Heather suggests they just have a peaceful dinner. Tamra says if anyone can test the limits of her faith, it’s Kelly. Well, you failed the last test, so we’ll see how this one goes. Kelly feels pretty uncomfortable. Meghan has suggested she just apologize and be done with it. She tells everyone about meeting Francis O’Toole. Vicki thinks that beats getting peed on. Joe comes out to tell them there’s a barbecue going.

A lovely table is set in a pretty barn. Joe claims they have the chef that makes the best steak in the world. Heather calls Terry and Vicki flashes him, telling him that her nipple is too high and asking if he can fix that. Geez, they’re not even drunk. Kelly is still uncomfortable and feels excluded.

There’s an aerial shot of the farm and it’s absolutely beautiful. Tamra says she got close to the cows and now she feels like she’s eating someone’s brother. I can understand that. I used to order seafood in a restaurant that had fish tanks for walls and felt weird. Kelly tells Tamra she owes her an apology. She says Tamra is a wonderful mother and she never meant to intentionally hurt her. In her interview, Heather says there’s a pattern of behaving badly, apologizing, and then saying she’s not like that. Kelly says she’s trying to be a better person. Heather brings up that she said it again in the car. Nothing like stirring it a little. Kelly says she’s being sincere and doesn’t want any bad feelings harbored. In her interview, Vicki says she understands, but doesn’t know how much to stick her nose in it.

Joe invites the ladies to come for an Irish cream tasting. Kelly apologizes to Tamra again, but Tamra doesn’t want to talk about it. In her interview, Tamra says as a Christian she’s supposed to forgive, but this particular situation is too painful, sensitive and new. Um, I don’t think you’re supposed to pick and choose.

Meghan goes to Tamra’s room. Tamra tells her Heather wants to go bike riding, but she still wants to kill Kelly and needs to stay away from her. She says Kelly is pushing her Christianity. Meghan invites her to go with her to Powerscourt estate and they decide to meet downstairs.

The other girls meet in the lobby. Heather doesn’t want to let the pub crawl color anything, so instead of animosity, she’s just ignoring it. They get picnic baskets from the hotel. Heather says after three days of drinking, riding a bike is tough. Vicki is having a difficult time of it, hitting a curb almost immediately.

Meghan and Tamra take the estate tour. Meghan learns some more about her ancestor who executed people there. She says she can feel that it’s haunted. Okay.

The rest go to Powerscourt Gardens on their bikes. It’s gorgeous and a picnic blanket has been laid out for them. No surprise, Heather pops some champagne. Kelly says no thanks because she wants to give it a rest. Heather has a flask of Fireball and encourages Kelly to drink. Why? Heather feels like she hasn’t seen Meghan the entire trip. She calls and tells Meghan where they are, and suggests she and Tamra join them, but Meghan says they’ll meet later at the hotel. Tamra says she doesn’t really want to see Kelly and is hesitant about dinner.

Vicki is the first to arrive for dinner and Kelly follows. Another beautiful table is set outside. In her room, Tamra calls Sarah. Granddaughter Ava has started walking. Heather and Shannon show up with champagne. Heather gossips about Kelly wearing a low-cut blouse to play croquet.

Kelly talks to Vicki, saying it’s the worst trip of her life. In her interview, she says she feels like Vicki has abandoned her. The other ladies arrive. Everyone is wearing black except for Kelly, who is wearing white. Meghan isn’t feeling well, so she’s opted out of dinner. Kelly doesn’t want to drink because she’s tired. Shannon insists tequila is an “upper,” and orders one for her anyway. WTF? These girls complain about Kelly’s drinking and then foist it on her when she doesn’t want one. Tamra quietly tells the waiter to make it a double.

Shannon and Heather want to have a shindig for Tamra after her competition, with all the food she hasn’t been able to eat. Shannon orders more drinks even before they’ve finished the first one. In her interview, Vicki says Shannon seems like she’s on a mission to get Kelly drunk so she’ll act crazy. She says it smells like Tamra is involved and we flash back to the naked wasted episode with Gretchen. Seriously, what is wrong with these women? I wish Kelly would just not drink.

Kelly says she feels ambushed, but when Shannon asks what she said, she tells Shannon she’s just talking to herself. In her interview, Kelly says she knows they’re trying to get her drunk. Heather calls Meghan and they have a toast to the new baby.

Five hours later. Meghan says she suddenly finds out WWIII is happening. After dinner, Vicki went to Tamra’s room with Kelly and invited her out, but she didn’t want to go. Tamra, Heather and Shannon go for a drink in the pub. Vicki ends up joining them, so nasty Tamra sends Kelly a selfie of her and Vicki, saying Vicki is talking about her. This is so creepy and mean girl, I can’t believe it. Tamra confronts Kelly, saying Vicki told her Kelly was saying things about her. Kelly says she never said anything about Tamra.

On the way to the airport, Kelly tells Shannon she feels ambushed and brings up Shannon pushing the tequila on her and attacking her in the hallway. She attacks Shannon’s appearance. Heather tells Kelly she takes things to a new low. Shannon says Kelly will be lucky to look like her at 52. This whole thing is beyond appalling and makes me embarrassed that Tamra calls herself a Christian. She’s basically a public figure and has set no example by what she just did to Kelly – with Shannon’s help. I’m hating these two right now. Heather tells Tamra that Kelly is insane and she feels sorry for her kid. In her interview, Vicki says Heather has a history of making her friends think they’re crazy and we flash back to a similar incident with Shannon. Vicki doesn’t want to get involved because she doesn’t want to be next. OMG – this is seriously just like junior high. Heather tells Kelly that she can’t hurt her with anything she says because she’s trash. A new low for everyone!

Next time, fingers are wagging all over the place, Tamra screams at Vicki, Briana calls Vicki out on being selfish, Shannon is never speaking to Vicki again, and Tamra competes.

October 10, 2016 – A Fiery Crash on GH & an Overly Heated Argument on the OC

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What I Watched Today
(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

General Hospital

Morgan and Jason pull over. Jason sounds like somebody’s dad, asking if Morgan can get out of the car or does he have to come over there. Morgan gets out and KABOOM! Jason dashes into the flames.

Molly asks TJ if he got in a fight. He tells her it was Morgan.

Dillon looks at the pictures of the Nurses Ball and flashes back to kissing Kiki two minutes ago.

Kiki calls Morgan. She asks him to call and tell her where he is. She has to talk to him about something important.

Sonny tells Carly that for the first time in a long time, he thinks everything is going to be okay. Carly says she’s not used to him being an optimist and he asks if he’s that much of a downer. Frankly, yes. She says there will be challenging times ahead with Morgan, because we call everything that’s a real pita “challenging” now. He says he knows that’s not all she’s worried about, and Carly says she doesn’t want him seeking his own kind of justice. He says it’s all going to work out.

Julian reams out his crony, Pete, and asks if he saw who stole the car. Julian says the alarm would have gone off. Unless Pete left the keys in the car. D’oh! He tells Julian how he just stepped away to have a smoke. Speaking of which, where did he step away to? China?

Tracy meets with Hayden and Finn. Since Finn is still alive, she figures it’s not all bad news. He tells her that they overheard something about the hospital. Tracy says they hope to open in another month, but Finn says the hospital seems to be for sale.

TJ tells Molly what happened with Morgan. She thinks they should call the police, but TJ says Jason is handling it and Morgan will listen to him before he’ll listen to the cops. They go inside and see Julian. TJ suggests they leave, but Molly says she’s not being chased out by an abusive freak. Dante enters and Julian says it’s about time he showed up. Julian tells him that his car was stolen not 10 feet away from the place.

Sonny gets all esoteric. He says fate finds you unexpectedly sometimes. Carly asks if he’s saying he’s not going after Julian. He says he went to church and ran into Griff. Sonny gave as good as he got, but realized he had to find peace in his heart, in the world, and with Carly. Carly says she can hear what he’s not saying, and tells him not to say anything else. She’s grateful because she knows how hard it was for him, but he’s made her happy.

Jason grabs his phone and calls 911, telling them about the accident. He says he thinks the driver is trapped inside the flaming car.

Carly tells Sonny he’s right and he says he’s always right. Ha-ha! She says everything is going to be okay, with them and their family. He says he knows it because he has faith. They kiss and start to leave the bar. Nell sees them and says she has good news. She got four tickets for Shawn Mendes for Josslyn, and they’re VIP seating.

Tracy says she’d know if the hospital was for sale. Finn says the information came from a guy on the board named Fred Gray. Hayden tells Tracy how they heard him and Lucy discussing it. They tell her about the intention to move the hospital to another building and use the present property for condos. Tracy says her family has poured their heart and soul into the hospital. Finn says the guy was looking at it for an associate, but didn’t say who. I’m thinking Valentin, who has to step back into the picture eventually.

Dante asks Julian if he had an anti-theft device and Pete admits to leaving the keys in the car. Julian says start with Sonny, who’s been harassing him. Dante says he’ll keep it in mind, but he’ll start with asking if anyone at the bar saw anything. He approaches Molly and TJ. TJ says he thinks he knows who took the car – Morgan.

Dillon rehashes his and Kiki’s conversation in his mind, and thinks about how she said she never got over him. He says they’re finally getting their chance.

Kiki sees Carly and says she can’t find Morgan. Carly says she assumed Morgan was with her, but Kiki says she hasn’t seen him since the morning, but she knows he was upset about being expelled. Sonny tells Kiki how much Morgan appreciates her being in his corner, and that he and Carly appreciate her too. No surprise, Kiki looks sick, and Carly asks her if everything is okay

An emergency team comes, and Jason says he can’t get to the driver because the car is half in the water. Morgan is either in the car or in the river.

Tracy shows up at Crimson, figuring she’d find Dillon there trying to forget his father. He says it’s semi-working, but he’s fine. In the middle of the nightmare, something happened that he’s wanted to happen for a long time. He tells her that Kiki makes him happy and they’ve decided to be together.

Kiki tells Carly that she and Morgan had a misunderstanding and she wanted to talk it out. Sonny is concerned about him not calling either one of them, but they agree that Morgan always forgets to charge his phone.

Nell tells Kiki she saw Morgan at The Floating Rib and he was in bad shape.

Julian tells Pete that Molly is probably giving Dante an earful about how the thief should get a medal. He still believes Sonny is behind it. Pete says maybe they’re lucky that he just took the car and not Julian’s life.

Firefighters pull Jason away from the accident.

Dante calls in the information that TJ and Molly gave him. Molly says Morgan was drunk and she’s really worried. Dante says alcohol isn’t the best mix with Morgan’s medication. Molly frets and Dante’s phone rings. It’s Jason. Jason gives him the location of the accident and tells him to get there quickly – it’s about Morgan.

Hayden asks what Finn is going to do if he can’t go back to work. Finn says now that he has the equipment he needs, he can finish his research. He tells her that he’s made a breakthrough. She asks how much of one, and he says he likes his chances. She says they should celebrate, but he tells her to slow down. She tells him to admit he’s feeling happy.

Nell says Morgan seemed like he was in a bad mood. Kiki insists on her being more specific. Nell flashes back on their conversation. She tells Kiki that Morgan seemed to think that the two of them were breaking up. Kiki asks if Morgan mentioned Dillon. Nell says she’s not sure. Kiki tells Nell that Morgan overheard her leaving a message for Dillon and lost it, even though she told him it was nothing to worry about. Nell says she can listen if Kiki wants to talk, but Kiki says she needs to talk to Morgan. It will just make things worse if she talks to someone else first. When she leaves, Nell says it’s a lot harder on Morgan and calls Kiki a princess. I guess they haven’t decided quite what to do with Nell, since she was all up in Michael’s business like yesterday.

Sonny and Carly kick back with some wine. He apologizes for making her worry about what he was going to do regarding Julian. She says she was just scared. She kept thinking about their wedding day, and he asks which one. Sonny is a real comedian today. Carly says she’d been waiting for him, and Jason came in, telling her Sonny had been shot. Sonny says all he could think about was seeing her face one last time. He let his hatred blind him to what was important – his family and his beautiful wife. While they’re talking, this music is on in the background that sounds like 60s easy listening – like The Girl from Ipanema.

Dante gets to the accident scene. He asks where Morgan and the car are. Jason says he was here. and then he wasn’t, which sounds like a line from a Dr. Seuss book.

Sonny asks Carly what her favorite part of being married to him is. She asks what he thinks. He suggests his dimples or eyes, and she says that’s partly it. They get busy and it becomes a song part. I run out for a smoke and someone steals my car. Just kidding.

Julian consults his GPS, but there’s no signal from the car. Pete suggests the guy was a pro and disabled it, and Julian says he must have been a pro, since he stole a car with keys in it. Julian says he’ll have to deal with it himself, since the PCPD is no help. He fires Pete. Just when I’ve learned his name. Cronies – easy come, easy go. Kiki runs up and asks if Julian has seen Morgan. He tells her that he’d seen her over-medicated boyfriend drinking in the bar earlier, and to do herself a favor and dump him

Dillon tells Tracy that because Kiki has Ava for a mother, she gets what he’s going through. Tracy asks if Kiki isn’t taken, but he says she’s breaking up with Morgan. Tracy thinks it’s asking for trouble. Dillon says he hopes Tracy will appreciate Kiki as much as he does one day. She says if Kiki makes him happy, she’ll welcome her with open arms. She says clearly she’s not a good judge of character, and because of Paul the hospital might close permanently.

Hayden says she sees Tracy successfully getting GH back, and Finn being successful with his work and getting his life back. Finn says he can’t look that far ahead. His phone reminder sounds for his shot, and she asks what he’s going to do when his illness doesn’t give him an excuse to be distant. He says he’ll be right back and asks her to wait there.

Nell brings a glass of champagne to Hayden. There’s a card along with it from an Even Lloyd.

Carly tells Sonny she’s the happiest woman on the planet and she loves him. Her phone rings and he tells her to leave it, but she picks it up. She says a sprinkler went off in a room at the hotel while the guests were in bed. Sonny says they were hot, but not as hot as he and Carly just were. Sonny is on a roll. What’s next? Stand up?

Jason tells Dante about how Morgan was talking about Kiki and he got him to pull over. He says when Morgan opened the car door, the car exploded. When Jason got out, he saw the car had gone over a cliff. Dante wonders if Morgan went with it. Jason said he couldn’t get close enough to see for sure. Dante looks over the cliff and calls to Morgan, but not very loudly.

Finn returns to the table. He notices the champagne and Hayden says a man at the bar sent it along with this, and gives him the card. She says he’s the president of an investment firm. Finn asks if she’s going to respond, and she says she might give him a call. Not for a job, a date. That’s right, Finn. Hayden wants action, not just talk.

Dillon can’t believe someone wants to turn GH into condos, but Tracy says not if she has anything to say about it. Dillon says he feels like he’s drowning whenever he thinks about Paul too long or too hard. He says GH might be closing for good because of Paul’s actions, and wonders if it’s the final straw.

Kiki leaves another message for Morgan, saying she needs to talk to him in person. She says she knows she hurt him, but doesn’t know how to get him to reach out to her. She apologizes and says they need to talk.

TJ is upset that he didn’t prevent Morgan from taking the car. Molly says Morgan was acting on impulse. She asks why it had to be Julian’s car and says he’ll never let it go until he completely ruins Morgan’s life.

Julian sees Dante. He looks over the cliff and sees his car. He asks what happened. Dante says he doesn’t have all the details, but the witness says it exploded.

Carly calls home and asks if Sonny heard from Morgan. He says it will take time, but he’ll keep her posted. He’s going to wait up for her. Jason walks in looking like a mess, and Sonny asks what the hell happened. Jason says it’s Morgan.

Tomorrow, Sam tells Franco to stay away, Julian tells Ava they’re in trouble, and Jason tells Sonny about the accident.

The Real Housewives of the OC

It’s time to head to Dublin and the ladies are packing. Since becoming pregnant, Meghan wants to dive deeper into her heritage. Kelly is at a crossroads in her marriage, and says the trip is coming at a good time. She talks to Michael about controlling his alcohol intake. He got pretty hammered at Heather’s party.

Briana sees a pair of men’s shoes in Vicki’s bedroom. Vicki says Steve just came over for coffee and Briana wonders what kind of coffee dates Vicki is having.

Tamra has been instructed not to drink at all because of her upcoming competition. She says the more sober she is, the more crazy she realizes the rest of the women are.

Everyone meets at the airport. After a flight that takes absolutely no time, we’re in Ireland. The ladies are met by their driver, Sean. Boy, is he going to be sorry he signed up for this job. Everything is rainy and green. On the way to the hotel, Heather tries to teach everyone words and phrases they might need and it’s a lost cause. The hotel is impressive, and they’re greeted with a signature Black Velvet cocktail of champagne and Guinness. Vicki is also presented with some flowers from Steve. The card says, “I love you,” and the girls get all giggly. Tamra wants to know where the gym is and Shannon wants to know where the bar is. The rooms are beautiful, filled with antiques and lovely details. No surprise, the first stop is the bar. Meghan has plans to visit with a genealogist the next day. Shannon wants to see a leprechaun. Probably Dr. Moon told her they’re real. Maybe he told her to steal one’s hat for a treatment.

Meghan plans a pub crawl for the girls while she does her genealogy thing. Heather reminds Tamra that she promised one fun day. Tamra asks what a pub crawl is, saying she doesn’t like beer, and I’m wondering why such an expert at drinking doesn’t find it self-explanatory. Shannon tries an Irish accent and it comes out sounding like she’s either Spanish or from Brooklyn. Meghan joins them at the first bar (no alcohol of course). Shannon reveals a green glitter top that no one should ever wear. Meghan leaves and they couldn’t care less. I’m not sure they even notice. Vicki encourages Tamra to drink because a drunk Tamra is a fun Tamra. Sometimes. In her interview, Tamra says it’s hard not to be on the fun bus while Vicki is driving.

Shots happen. Vicki whoohoos. It’s on to the next pub.

Meghan has the genealogist over for tea. There are a bunch of dishes with little sandwiches and such, and I wish I could reach into the TV and take one. Dude tells Meghan she’s related to the majority of the town. Throw a rock, hit one of Meghan’s relatives. He goes over her family tree with him. Her great grandfather a million times removed was a rebel who was executed. Good times…

Shannon yells for alcohol and Vicki wants another shot of whatever. Shannon complains about Kelly doing some kind of juvenile “nose flick” joke, that thing The Three Stooges do. Tamra is glad everyone is in a good place. Vicki asks for instruction on pouring a pint and gets behind the bar, flirting with the bartender. Wow, from the mini preview before the commercial, this is going to take a downturn quickly.

Shannon is pretty loud and it sounds like she just made a pass at Kelly. Vicki complains to Tamra about Kelly doing that nose flick thing. Tamra tries to make it a bigger deal than it is, and Kelly tells her to keep walking. Tamra is like, are you talkin’ to me? and tells Kelly she takes things to another level. In her interview, Heather says Kelly has an amazing ability to take a good time and knock it on its ass. Kelly says it was only a joke. She was just kidding with Vicki, but Tamra says Vicki doesn’t like it. Kelly says she can’t believe a child’s joke is freaking everyone out. Tamra is frustrated with defending Kelly. Kelly says she’s sorry they’re sensitive and she won’t do it again. Obviously, a non-apology apology, and it doesn’t fly. Kelly tells Heather that usually people who are of Jewish descent get a joke, and they’re sarcastic and funny. Heather points out that she’s being racist, and Kelly says she’s Mexican. In her interview, Vicki says she’s trying to stay neutral, having just gotten back in good graces with everyone, and I can’t say as I blame her. Kelly says Tamra repeats what everyone says. Truth! but she should have known that by now. Tamra says she didn’t even tell Heather about how Kelly looked into how much Heather owes on her property. Kelly says Tamra is out of her mind and a liar. There goes Tamra’s finger. In her interview, Vicki says Tamra should just let it go. Tamra talks some more about Kelly looking into Heather’s financial situation and Kelly says, are you kidding me? over and over. Kelly says a realtor friend mentioned something to her about it, but it’s not like she personally dug around for the information. Other patrons are starting to look at them and they leave. Kelly calls Tamra an f-ing liar all he way down the street and tells Shannon no wonder Tamra’s daughter won’t talk to her. Uh-oh.

Heather steers everyone toward a store for retail therapy. Shannon can’t repeat what Kelly said fast enough and Tamra goes after Kelly. We only hear them since they’re in the store, but Tamra goes ballistic and Kelly accuses Tamra of hitting her. Shannon finds Tamra weeping in the car and says she’s sorry she said anything. Yeah, sure. Should have thought about that before. Tamra is hyperventilating, and Shannon tells her to breathe slower. I start to question whether any of these women could function in the real world.

Shannon tells Tamra she’s an amazing mom and Kelly is a moron. Tamra says Kelly knows how painful the subject of her daughter is and how dare she? Um, she’s drunk and you kept prodding her? Shannon tells Tamra that she said it herself, Kelly wants to hurt people because she’s miserable. Tamra calls Kelly as evil as Satan. Oh for Pete’s sake.

Kelly asks Shannon what her intent was. She says if she’d wanted to hurt Tamra, she would have said it to her face. Shannon tells her to back off. In her interview, Vicki says she feels sorry for both of them. Heather says she’s never been asked to leave a store in her life, and because of the altercation, they were asked to leave. Ha-ha! on Fancy Pants, but I’d be pissed too. And no, I’ve never been asked to leave a store either. Kelly says Tamra hit her, but Heather says she doesn’t care; Kelly shouldn’t have said what she did. Wow. Fancy Pants endorsing corporal punishment. Heather says she was in the bathroom and they (I assume security) banged on the stall, asking for the American woman and requesting that they leave. Tamra says Kelly crossed the line. Kelly says she said something in private because she was angry that Tamra lied. In her interview, Kelly says she feels like she’s with the mean girls in grade school. I think Kelly has a drinking problem, but these women need to put things in perspective.

They go back to the hotel. Vicki wonders if they’re a bunch of hillbillies, no offense to the hillbillies. Ha-ha! She and Kelly go to their rooms. Tamra, Shannon and Heather sit down for tea. Shannon says she was given the menu already open to where the vodka is.

Kelly tells Meghan that Tamra lied about her looking into Heather’s business. She repeats to Meghan what she said to Shannon. In her interview, Meghan says some things you just leave alone, and she can’t believe Kelly went there. Kelly tells Meghan what happened at the store.

Tamra says she feels horrible because she’s been supportive of Kelly and made excuses for her. In her interview, Tamra says she saw Kelly as damaged, but realizes that no amount of compassion she has for her is going to change anything. Let me just put in my Christian 2¢ here. Tamra was all fine with her compassion as long as Kelly was focused on someone else. If she’s serious about her faith, she needs to back up what she’s been saying, and not have a double-standard. I’m not faulting her – I’m not perfect in this area, but I’m not on TV either, so I’m just sayin’.

Kelly tells Meghan that she said it out of anger. Meghan says if Tamra lied, that’s messed up, but that doesn’t make what Kelly said right. Meghan says there’s a lot of talking among the women and she should get that by now. What I said. Kelly adds that altough she’d been supportive of Vicki, Vicki didn’t speak up for her either. She says she’s tired of defending herself and doesn’t want to go to dinner with the rest of them. Meghan says she’s sorry that this happened. Kelly claims she’s never met girls like this. Meghan tries to get her to relent about dinner, but it ‘s a no. Well that pub crawl was a bust.

In the car, Tamra says Kelly did it to herself. Meghan tells the group about what Kelly said and how she responded. She hopes they can all work it out. Back at the hotel, Kelly calls Michael, telling him the women ganged up on her. Michael tells her to stay calm and get in a good place. Kelly finds it ironic that she wanted to get away from him, and now he’s the only one who has her back. Yeah, since he also has an alcohol problem, why shouldn’t he be encouraging of her drunken rants? She tells him she doesn’t want to be around them because they’re mean.

The girls go to a restaurant and Meghan tells them about what the genealogist told her and how she’s related to everyone in town. She’s excited to be learning about her heritage in the place her ancestors are from. Tamra and Heather refuse to eat potatoes. This is Ireland, people!

Some musicians start to play. Vicki dances with a short guy. Tamra says grandma’s a tramp. The other women find this hysterical and Vicki jokes that she just got pregnant. A dude does some Riverdancing on the bar. Vicki and Shannon both dance and Meghan says it’s an Irish miracle that the two of them are having fun together. I’m sure it won’t last long

Next time, Meghan tries to find her people, Vicki almost steps in a cow-pie, Shannon forces tequila on Kelly (!), and Kelly feels ambushed.