Tag Archives: RelationShep

Jan16

January 15, 2017 – An Answer from PK Sinclair, Brittany Rages on, Shep & a Spaniel

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Carly shows Bobbie the condoms that fell out of Josslyn’s backpack.

At Kelly’s, Josslyn asks Oscar if they’re really going to do this. He says only if she’s sure. She is, and asks what about him? He says, totally.

As they watch Julian laughing with Kim, Diane tells Alexis the menu just got more interesting.

Anna sees Finn while she’s at the hospital to make an appointment. He asks how it’s going, she says apparently she’s getting back to normal – whatever normal is. She tells him that she’ll see him around, but he asks her to wait. He never really got to say goodbye.

Maxie thinks Nina might be able to convince Peter to pull the interview. She’s afraid for their lives. Lulu says it’s too late. The interview was already picked up by wire services. Maxie says there’s no way to stop the world from knowing that Nathan is Faison’s son.

Spinelli thinks his email to PK Sinclair is brilliant. Sonny looks at it, and says, that’s it? Spinelli says it’s more than enough. They’ll be hearing from PK Sinclair in no time. They can assume vanity runs in the family, and they’ll draw him out with praise. Spinelli receives a reply asking, who is this?

Bobbie tells Carly not to jump to conclusions. Carly asks if Bobbie thinks they want to use them for water balloons. Bobbie points out that the box hasn’t been opened, but Carly asks how does she know it’s the first time? She’s going to talk to Josslyn, but first, she has to make sure the moms are on the same page.

Very obviously, peeking over her menu, Alexis eavesdrops on Kim and Julian’s conversation. Ava comes in, and Diane makes a snarky remark. Ava says at least she’s not reading the menu upside down. Alexis gets all flustered, and Ava laughs at her, since the menu was fine. Ava says it must be tough to read when her mind is elsewhere. She wonders if her former sister-in-law is becoming a regular there.

Anna say she read Finn’s note; he didn’t have to say anything else. Finn thought it was better that way, and Anna hopes he and Roxie are happy back in their natural habitats. He says they’re good, and thanks her for understanding. She says it was awkward, pretending to be couple. Finn says they didn’t really know each other, but got good at pretending. Anna says Cassandra is no longer a threat, and Finn says, and here we are. He asks if she’s doing any better. The last time he saw her, she was running out with a gun and a broken clock. Anna says now she knows who put Cassandra out of commission. Finn says he’d ask, but knows she’d have to kill him if she told him. She says they’re both back in their natural habitats, and it was best before things got out of hand; they dodged a bullet. Finn says, lucky us, and she holds out her hand. Anna tells Finn to take care, and they gaze at each other for like, thirty seconds. She goes back to the desk, and he watches. When he leaves, she wipes a tear away.

Maxie can’t believe this is happening. Nathan tells her that he gave the interview to draw Faison out of hiding. She asks what he’s going to do next, take a baseball bat to a wasp’s nest? Faison feeds on fear. Lulu tells her to calm down for the baby’s sake. Maxie says, the baby Faison steals in her dreams? Thanks to Lulu, he’s going to come after the baby in real life.

Spinelli says, now they reel him in. He responds that he’s an admirer, saying they have something in common. A relationship with Isaac Refson, an anagram of Faison’s name. In the fastest email reply ever, PK Sinclair says that Isaac Refson Is a fictional character. Spinelli writes back that fact is stranger than fiction. They both know he’s PK’s father.

Carly sees Kim, and Bobbie tells her to take a breath. Surprisingly, Bobbie leaves, and Carly tells Kim that they have to talk about the kids. Kim has rounds, and asks if they can talk another time. Carly shows her the condoms, and says these belong to her son. She found them in Josslyn’s backpack. Kim suggests maybe they belong to Josslyn. Carly says they’re planning on having sex. She overheard Josslyn tell Oscar that the Mad Hatter’s Ball will be a special night that will blow his mind. IMO, it actually sounds like they’re going to take drugs, but I’m sure it will turn out to be something totally innocuous. Kim says at least they’re using protection, and Carly guesses they’re done. Kim says Carly is right. Obviously, they’re too young for sex, but if they’re thinking about it, she’s relieved they’ve discussed the ramifications and responsibilities that come with an adult decision. Carly says Kim needs to tell Oscar to take a cold shower. He’s clearly the instigator. Kim asks how she knows it’s not her daughter? Really. And Josslyn has been the aggressor throughout their relationship so far. I’m not faulting her for it. It just is what it is.

Josslyn tells Oscar it’s a big step. Oscar says not everyone will think they’re doing the right thing, but it’s right for them. She can’t wait for the ball.

Julian approaches the table, and Alexis says she left the oven on. Diane says she did too. Ava asks what happened to Julian’s window; she noticed it was boarded up. He tells her about the brick, and Alexis says it’s intimidation from whoever wants to make changes in the neighborhood. Julian says it’s nothing to be worried about, but Alexis says Molly lives across the street. Ava wonders what’s really going on with Alexis.

Maxie tells Lulu that he was just singing her praises to Peter, saying that if she wanted a big story, she wouldn’t stop until she got it. Peter walks in, and says Lulu is a born reporter, and Maxie should thank her. Maxie says she thought of career more than anything, but Peter says Nathen is the one who initiated the story, and she’s a good reporter. Nathan asks Peter to share any information he might get with the PCPD. All of a sudden, Maxie doubles over in pain. Nathan says he’ll take her to the hospital. Lulu says she’ll come too, but Maxie says she’s done enough. When they’re gone, Lulu wails, what have I done?

Diane walks into Sonny’s office, and asks if this is a conversation she shouldn’t be hearing. Sonny asks if she’s billing him, and she says no, she’s billing Jason. She tells Jason he’s giving away everything. Spinelli says his offshore holdings are doing well, but Diane says his Port Charles holdings took a hit. She tells them that Nathan gave an interview about being Faison’s son, and it’s going viral. Spinelli grabs his coat, saying Maxie was adamant that no one should know, and now it’s trending. He wants to make sure she’s okay. He jets, and Diane asks if Sonny wants to tell his lawyer what he’s been up to.

Anna punches the bag at the gym. Felicia asks what the bag ever did to her. She wonders if Anna is pretending it’s Faison, and says she guesses Anna heard. She tells Anna that Maxie confided in Mac, who confided in her. Maxie swore them to secrecy, but now Nathan did an interview. Anna says she knew from Sonny and Jason. Felicia says she’s not asking why Anna is fraternizing with hoodlums. Anna says that Sonny dug up the information that Faison has another son. They want to find him, since they think that will pull Faison out. She told them to leave it alone, but doesn’t think they will. Either way, Faison is on his way back to Port Charles (YES!!!). Anna says she’s got to keep on the defensive at all times, at all costs. Felicia doesn’t think she’s talking about Faison.

Carly says Kim is right; she shouldn’t point fingers. They’re both hormonal teenagers, and they’re good kids. Kim isn’t suggesting they look the other way; they’re not ready. Carly thinks they should present a united front. She’s concerned about them rushing in without thinking about the consequences. Kim says at the end of the day, they’re still going to do what they want. She has an emergency, and leaves. Bobbie tells Carly motherhood is a job that never ends. They go to get coffee.

Kim sees Maxie, and asks what’s wrong? Maxie tells her she has abdominal pain, and says please don’t let anything happen to the baby.

Peter says Lulu isn’t thinking clearly. Lulu says Maxie is right to be worried. She put her career first, and look what happened? Peter says what happened is, her story might flush out the most wanted felon. She thanks him for being supportive, and he hugs her. Spinelli walks in, and Lulu says her boss just reminded her that there’s no crying in journalism. She introduces them, reminding me that Spinelli’s first name is Damien. He was hoping to find Maxie, but Lulu tells him she’s at GH; she was having abdominal pains. Spinelli wants to know why no one called an ambulance, but Peter says Nathan took her, since it didn’t seem serious. Spinelli wonders if Peter is also an obstetrician. Lulu explains that he and Maxie have a daughter together, and Peter says he understands Spinelli’s concern. After he leaves, Spinelli says Lulu told the world that Nathan is Faison’s son, and Maxie has already been rushed to the hospital. Lulu says she already feels bad.

Sonny explains to Diane that they’re hoping to lure PK Sinclair out, to lead them to his homicidal father. Diane thinks that might not be necessary if Faison sees the interview. Should it result in any number of felonies, she wants to remind Sonny and Jason of self-incrimination. They’re to remain silent unless she’s present. She says Sonny can be chatty. Jason is a prosecutor’s dream, but a nightmare in civil court. Maybe Sonny can convince him that he can provide for Sam and Danny without signing everything over.

Ava asks Julian if Alexis is there all the time, but he says she’s keeping tabs on Molly. Ava wonders if that’s why she gasped about the broken window. Julian insists she’s just worried about Molly, but Ava says it was his window that was broken; not Molly’s. Julian says Alexis has moved on; she’s dating a doctor. Ava says it appears Alexis isn’t the only one who’s moved on.

Finn and Alexis chat after a 12-step meeting. They agree the meeting was relentlessly dour. Finn says thank God the holidays are over, but Alexis says that Valentine’s Day is a real minefield. He thanks her for speaking at the meeting. He admires her courage. She says she’s a lawyer. She likes to talk, and likes to have the last word before a jury. Finn says there are no juries there, but she says the one in her head. He asks if guilt works, and she says guilt and shame, as long as you do it to yourself. If she didn’t give herself a reasonable dose of guilt, what kind of person would she be? Finn says, human?

Anna tells Felicia that false reality is common in spy work. They got so good at pretending, they somehow convinced themselves. Felicia says she had them convinced. Anna says it was fun, surprisingly so. Felicia says there’s no shame in having fun. Anna says Faison is out there; Finn would be a target to use as leverage, like Robin. Felicia realizes she broke it off to protect him. Anna says she had to, and Felicia suggests she’s protecting herself from herself. Anna asks what she’s talking about, and Felicia says she’s shutting herself off because of Faison. She thinks they should talk about the real problem. The thing that makes her vulnerable. Anna says that’s if she cared about him, and Felicia says she does. Anna says that’s why he can’t be in her life. She has to push him away for both their sakes.

Alexis asks Finn what he would have said, and he says it can’t leave the room. She asks him to hand her a doughnut, calling it legal tender, and says she’s his lawyer now. He tells her that he’s really scared, and she asks what about? He tells her a couple years ago, he lost his wife to a disease that he cured, but not in time. He thought he’d never care about anyone again, but he was wrong. He and Hayden were going to marry and have baby, but it fell apart, and he lost them. He doesn’t want to lose anyone again; he doesn’t think he can take it. He says alcohol and drugs are just symptoms. What’s the real addiction? Alexis says it’s a who. A person caused her to make bad decisions, and sacrifice her integrity. She still sees him. Every time she turns around he’s there, and the worst part is, she loves him. it’s a hard habit to kick.

Julian tells Ava it’s her imagination. She says she doesn’t think it is, calling him “Charlie,” like Kim did. He asks how about her and ex priest? She tells him that Griff gave her a wonderful gift. She’s getting the treatment to remove her scars. If she can get a new lease on life, he can too.

Carly picks up a mitten outside of Kelly’s. She and Bobbie talk about how fast Josslyn grew up. Bobbie says it seems like another lifetime, even though it was just a few years ago. One minute, Lucas was an adorable little boy, she blinked, and he’s a doctor with a husband. They can’t keep them children forever. Carly looks through the window, and sees Josslyn and Oscar.

Diane tells Jason that he’s officially divorced, and gives him a copy of the paperwork. She says she did the best she could, considering his near suicidal generosity. Jason says it’s not about the money. Diane says it’s her job to safeguard his legal and financial interests, but if making Sam happy is his objective, he failed. She’ll never be happy with Drew. She might have been if Jason hadn’t come back, but he did, and she loves him. Even a lawyer can see that.

Bobbie tells Carly now’s her chance for that mother/daughter talk. In front of Oscar?

Finn tells Alexis that he’s better off alone, and she says they’re not supposed to be in a relationship for a year after starting the program. He says he’s talking about forever, but Alexis says that’s an abyss she doesn’t want to stare into. Finn thinks he’s at his best when on his own, and she asks if that’s an assessment or rationalization. He says both. She says she’s between scorched earth and uncharted territory, and has to keep an eye on the road. Finn says he has to stay on the road he knows, and out of the fast lane.

Felicia tells Anna that Finn was brave enough to take on the cartel; Faison isn’t going to scare him off. Anna says he has a knee-jerk knight-in-shining-armor thing, which wouldn’t be so bad, if his only weapons weren’t sarcasm and medical research. There are things he can’t know about for his own safety.

Spinelli tells Lulu if the story lands Faison in prison, Maxie will thank her. Lulu hopes he’s right. If anything happens, she won’t forgive herself.

Kim tells Maxie that she and the baby are doing fine. Maxie is glad it’s nothing, but wishes it didn’t feel like a swordfight in her belly. Kim says to keep stress to a minimum. When she’s out of earshot, Maxie asks Nathan how she’s supposed to do that, when she knows Faison is the baby’s grandfather. She just wants it to be over. Nathan says tomorrow is their wedding anniversary, and promises it will be a day she’ll treasure forever.

Sonny tells Jason that Diane is a pita, but most of the time, she’s right. Why not tell Sam that he loves her and wants her back? How will he know if he doesn’t ask? Spinelli gets an email from PK Sinclair saying he referred to the sequel, and asks if they read the end. Sonny asks how it ends.

Tomorrow, Kim talks to Oscar, Michael wants answers from Nelle, and Sonny says they’ll use Faison’s son to figure it out.

Vanderpump Rules

Rewind to the housewarming party. Around 1:30 am. Ariana doesn’t want to tell Brittany something she doesn’t want to hear, but Brittany says, let’s do it. Jax is laughing with his dudes in the kitchen. It reminds me of this picture in my wedding album. A friend’s date was partying with my husband’s friends, and it looks like he’s having the time of his life, laughing away. There’s a clock on the wall behind him, and I know that within an hour from then, people will be banging on the bathroom door where he’s locked himself in, and is getting sick. It’s like that moment when everything is THE BEST! and then it nosedives downhill. On the recording, Jax said he doesn’t want kids or marriage, and hasn’t had sex with Brittany in months. Brittany announces that she’s going to put it on speaker phone, and asks for everyone’s attention. Jax looks like he might pass out. She tells him he’s a piece of sh*t and should rot in hell. Jax is hustled out. Tom says Brittany doesn’t want to do this, but Ariana tells him to shut up. Jax asks Tom if he can explain what’s going on. The amazing part is that Jax has lived as long as he has being as stupid as he is.

James interrupts. Lala says she’s done with these men thinking they can do what they want. On the recording, Jax says Faith is the best sex he’s had. He’s not even attracted to Brittany anymore and doesn’t like being with her sexually. At Schwartz’s place, Jax says he cheated, did everything wrong, and he’s “going through it,” whatever that means. Tom slips away to get some alcohol. Jax throws a phone. Schwartz says it’s his phone, and he needs that.

The girls gather around Brittany. James tries to insert his opinion, which is a bad idea, and Stassi tells him to get the eff out. Jax tells the guys that the relationship is done. We can dream. James joins them, saying it was Lala and Ariana. Jax wonders why they’d do that. Tom thinks playing the recording after hours of drinking is a horrible idea, and wonders if Ariana is out of her mind. He’s disgusted, but having a hard time saying the word “disgusted,” since he’s drunk. Try “certificate of occupancy” sometime. Ariana says it was brought to her. Tom asks if she couldn’t have waited, but she says it was on Lala’s phone. She didn’t approach Brittany. Tom says she should have had the wherewithal to know it wasn’t the right time. In her interview, she says he’s taking d-bag Jax’s side instead of hers. She keeps telling him it’s not on her phone, and calls him a d*ck for having Jax’s back. She leaves, slamming the door behind her, and he says, get out of here. In that order. I laugh.

Lisa tells Peter that James is coming to see her. Like the leprechaun he is, James appears. He thought of a better name – James Kennedy presents See You Next Tuesday. Lisa is like, thanks for giving me a heads up. He feels like it’s going to be something fresh. She tells him to behave himself; it’s his night. In his interview, he says it’s make it or break it. He even passed out flyers, sweating like a prostitute, to make this party happen. He says he’s good to not drink for a week after the housewarming party, and tells Lisa about the recording. He says they played it, and it was awful. In his interview, he says he actually stole the recording off of Faith’s phone, and sent it to himself.

Lala, Tom, and Ariana go to Scheana’s for breakfast. Lala is extremely hungover. Tom wonders how the recording ended up in Brittany’s hands. Ariana says Brittany told them she wanted to know everything, but Tom thinks not in the wee hours of the morning, after she’s been drinking all night. Ariana says she’s not going to always have the best answer all the time, and is irritated that Tom is questioning her.

We see the aftermath of the housewarming party. I’d leave that mess for Jax. Jax comes in, and Brittany is cleaning the kitchen. He has no words. She asks what that means. She says she shouldn’t have played it, and he had no idea she was even going to hear it. He says she gave her word not to drag everyone else in, and she tells him quit trying to blame her. He’s embarrassed that he got caught, and is trying to turn it around. He says it was so wrong in so many ways. Brittany is so young. Why is she settling like this?

Ariana tells Tom that she can’t deal with someone saying she’s making sh*t up. Whenever he disagrees with her, he tells her what he would have done and how it would have been better. Tom just wants her to take responsibility, saying she never does that.

Brittany tells Jax to get mad at them, not her. She was drunk and pissed off, and had a right to be. She calls him a dirty human being who has no remorse. It’s his fault not hers. He tells her to take responsibility, and tells him she’s not doing this anymore.

Ariana says Tom doesn’t like her as a person, and they should just break the eff up. He asks when the last time was that she apologized to him for anything she’s done?

Lala talks to new girl Billie, who says she just went through a break up, and she’s starting over. He wanted to have kids, but she’s trans and can’t have her own. She exchanges numbers with Lala, who promises an invite to the next dramafest get together.

Stassi, Patrick, Katie, and Schwartz (a law firm) go to bar (a joke) hidden behind a bookshelf. In her interview, Stassi says you won’t find any commoners there. Stassi cracks me up. Katie says Schwartz has a man crush on Patrick. Katie tells Schwartz no Jager bombs; he’s been a bad boy. This prompts Schwartz to tell Patrick about making out with a friend of Lala’s when he was drunk. In his interview, he says Patrick is good at adulting, and he needs to get his sh*t together. Schwartz says he’s intimidated by Patrick’s wit being so on point. Patrick says if it rains, you can bring an umbrella, but can only control how you react to the rain. He’s a regular Confucius. Katie tells them about the recording. In her interview, Stassi says if your friends are a reflection of you, what must Patrick think?

James brings Lala and Tom along to the studio. Lala is doing some sampling, and Tom has brought his trumpet. James is hung over AF. He thinks people want him to fail, and Tom suggests not giving them a reason. Lala is pumped for James’s new gig. She’s happy to have him back on the mothership. Lala sings her three lines, and everyone thinks it’s amazing. Tom says his trumpet is an expression of his feelings, and he loses himself in the music. He calls it awesome, but I call it something else. Lala says it’s like being in a pack of baby dolphins learning to communicate for the first time, and I’d say that’s pretty accurate.

Katie and Stassi visit Brittany. Brittany says Jax stays in his room, and they haven’t even seen each other. She says he’s a different person whenever she talks to him, and she wants to be around her friends. In her interview, Stassi says six years ago, she was in the same position, and wonders when women will realize Jax isn’t worth dating. She tells Brittany that she didn’t do anything, Jax did. They agree it’s no way to live.

Peter has been given the task of keeping an eye on James. James says it’s crazy to be back at SUR. Ariana and Tom are working, but she’s barely speaking to him. He says he loves her, and wants to be able to work it out. Stassi wonders why Jax is there, and why he can’t let Brittany work in peace. Because he’s Jax. James tosses glow sticks to the crowd. Are those still a thing, or is he trying to make them happen again? He tells everyone to make some noise. He didn’t expect the crowd to be this big, and is getting a rush from playing his own music. Lisa thinks Jax isn’t there to support James, but to get under Brittany’s skin. She asks what about mea culpa, but Jax doesn’t know what that means. Schwartz explains, and Jax says he should have finished college. You mean he finished high school?

Scheana is hiding in the kitchen. She doesn’t want to serve Jax and the crowd. She’s upset about her boyfriend being accused of cheating. Katie comes back, and says it’s a mess out there. Ariana says every time she comes back to get something, she takes longer. Scheana asks if she and Katie can stop talking about each other’s relationships, and tells Katie the rumor about Rob is BS. In her interview, Katie says Scheana is obsessed with presenting Rob as perfect. She thinks it might be because people criticized her for moving on too fast after her divorce.

Lisa tells James, nice turnout. He says she saved him, and she says she had to give him tough love. He thanks her, and she tells him not to screw it up. He tells her she looks beautiful, and calls her my queen. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Scheana says she’s sick of this Rob thing. People have nothing better to talk about it. Tom thinks she should stop talking about it, and she says she’s putting it to bed for real.

Brittany stops to see Lisa before she leaves for the night. Lisa says it’s gone from bad to worse. Brittany says they’re not talking, but he won’t leave. Lisa asks why put up with it, but Brittany doesn’t know. She knows she deserves better than this, but isn’t being strong right now. She says she’s really sad, and Lisa tears up. She wonders what Jax needs to do for Brittany to understand the relationship isn’t beneficial. She tells Brittany that she has the world at her feet, and not to go running back to Kentucky. In her interview, Brittany says it isn’t black and white. She tells Lisa that she’ll be fine when she gets her confidence back up. Lisa says she looks better than she has in months, and Brittany says, revenge body.

Scheana asks to talk to Jen. She tells Jen there’s a rumor about Rob making out with someone who works at the same place Jen does. (Not SUR.) Jen says it’s a friend of hers. She’d asked Jen if she knew Scheana, and said the guy she used to date is dating Scheana now, but kissed her the other night. Scheana says Rob made light of it, but Jen says it was probably more inappropriate than you’d want a boyfriend to behave. Somehow, Scheana turns this around to interpret it that Jen is telling her the same thing Rob did.

Tom and Ariana sit in the back, outside behind SUR. She’s glad the night is over. She says she and Tom get wrapped up in other people’s stress and the stress of working, and it’s not them or what she wants for them. Tom feels like she was put in a bad position, being given the information. Ariana says she was drunk, and didn’t know what to do. She feels like Tom didn’t hear her. In her interview, she thinks he could be more empathetic, and she needs to stop taking some things so personally. They apologize to each other for getting so angry.

Brittany calls her mom. She says they’ve been going through a lot. Her mom says hard to trust someone who cheats. Brittany thinks she should give another try at making things work out, but if he goes back to his old ways, they won’t be together. In her interview, Brittany tells us that her mother has been married four times. She just wants that one special man. Her mom tells her to follow her heart, and Brittany says she’s been praying about it. Everyone deserves forgiveness, even Jax. While I agree, forgiveness doesn’t mean you stick around to let them do it again. It’s not dispensation from consequence.

Brittany goes into the living room, otherwise known as Camp Jax. She says it will be bad for a while, but she loves him too much not to try. She wants them to get therapy, and the way he talks to her has to change. He says what about how they talk to each other. She’s like, seriously? Me too. I hate that stuff, trying to defect the problem by shoving it onto the other person. She tells him that she’s taking a risk to stay; it’s embarrassing. He says it’s not his fault – I have no words – but she says it is; he’s the one who did it. He says he should have handled it differently. In his interview, he says it takes two, and it’s not all him. Cheating was wrong, but what did it take for him to do that? Even if he believes the crap that comes out of his own mouth, he must be extra stupid to say these things out loud. Why? Why does she stay with him? Does she watch this show? Brittany wants Jax to swear he’ll change. He knows what he has to do, but wishes he could hit pause. He wants one day without thinking about it. He promises nothing will ever happen again. I just can’t.

Next time, Pride Day (didn’t we just do that?), Scheana cries, Lala has it out with James, and Brittany’s mom visits.

👱 RelationShep had its finale tonight. Peyton and Priscilla were left, but Shep didn’t pick either one. Instead, he went to NYC, and hunted Bella down. She was the brunette he did the mystery room adventure thing with, where they had to find a key to get themselves out. At the end, we were told to tune into Southern Charm if we want to see how it turned out. Was this just one big commercial for Southern Charm? Regardless, it was fun to watch, and I hope Shep gets a love connection out of it. He revisited some interesting family trivia tonight. His family bred the first Boykin Spaniels, and we got to see a couple of puppies. I don’t see another season of this happening, although if sparks fly, he and Bella might be a fun couple to watch. Mostly fluff, it was nice to see something lighthearted in the midst of all the drama.

BoykinSpaniel

The Boykin Spaniel (it kind of looks like Shep)

 

Jan9

January 8, 2018 – Eric Confesses, Jax is the Worst Person in the World, a Little Shep & Happy Birthday to the King

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

Jordan tells Dante that every once in a while, justice prevails.

Finn gets ready to leave the hospital. Anna says she doesn’t recall a doctor telling him that he’s discharged. Finn says he’s a doctor. He needs to tell the police he killed Cassandra.

Nathan tells Maxie the genetic component has to have crossed her mind. She says of course, but she doesn’t think the baby will turn out like Faison. Lulu overhears, and wants to know what’s going on. Nathan says, might as well get used to saying it out loud. Caesar Faison is his father.

Carly comes home to Josslyn dancing to her iPod in a sexy red dress. She tells Carly it’s for the ball. The Mad Hatter’s Ball is the biggest school dance of the year. It’s in February, but she’s planning ahead. Carly suggests she leave the tags on in case she finds something better (which I translate to something less adult), and asks if Kim knows Oscar asked her to the dance. Josslyn says he hasn’t yet, but he’s coming over to talk about something important. She goes upstairs, and Carly says her baby is growing up fast.

Jason tells Sonny that Spinelli is in shock about his daughter having a step-sibling related to Faison, but he knows Spinelli will step up and make it okay for Georgie and Maxie. Sonny says he’s odd, but a nice guy. They agree they need to find someone to help find Faison’s other son.

Sam tells Drew he knows his own heart, and asks what he wants to do. He says love and honor her the rest of their days. She suggests they get married today. He likes it, and says let’s go to city hall.

Anna asks Finn why he doesn’t concentrate on getting better, and when a doctor agrees with his diagnosis, they can do New Year’s Eve. She tells him he’s not going to the police. He was drugged, and doesn’t recollect well. Finn says he and Cassandra were the only two there. She might be able to dismiss it, but he can’t.

Jordan asks Dante to leave copy of his paperwork on her desk. She’s leaving to see Anna. She feels badly about how she left things, and wants Anna and Finn to know the operation is over. It’s one less thing for them to worry about.

Finn wants to confess before the police come after him. Anna says he has no memory of hurting Cassandra, but even if he did, he was protecting himself. Finn says he was protecting her, and the police should understand. Anna says he’s not saying a damn thing about what happened. Sonny interrupts, asking if it’s a bad time. Anna tells Finn to get some rest, and goes into the hallway to talk to Sonny.  Jason says they need to talk to her about Faison’s son.

Lulu is like, omg, and asks if Obrecht has any idea where Faison is. Nathan says even if she did, it’s doubtful she’d tell them. Lulu explains that she wants to interview him, and Maxie tells her that an interview with Beyoncé would be easier to arrange, and the subject wouldn’t try to kill her. (Not unless she’s Becky with the good hair anyway.) Nathan says the baby has absorbed enough stress for one day, and he’s got to get to work. Maxie says she and the baby will be fine. When he’s gone, Maxie tells Lulu that she’s terrified. Faison is a sociopath, and what if the baby inherits his genes?

Carly asks Josslyn how things are with Oscar and Drew. Josslyn says fine, and Oscar went to the Quartermaines for Christmas. Carly mentions the CD that Oscar made for Josslyn, and asks if it’s significant. Josslyn is saved by the doorbell. It’s Oscar.

Drew says they have the documents together, and tells Sam, let’s go get hitched. He looks at something, and says they’ve got a problem. Sam asks, what now? and he tells her to read the fine print. They have to wait 24 hours after the license is issued. He asks if she knows any judges. She’s sure her mother does, but doesn’t want everyone to be alerted. She suggests they just get the license now. He tells her that he meant every vow the first time, and they kiss.

Carly makes herself scarce. Josslyn asks Oscar what’s so important?

Jason tells Anna it’s been confirmed that Faison has at least one son – Nathan. I love how Anna is relatively unfazed by this. Sonny explains how he walked in on a family situation, and Obrecht blurted it out. Anna wonders why they’re bringing this to her, and Jason says Nathan isn’t the son they’re looking for. Britt told them about a traitor who allowed Jason to stay alive. Sonny says a manuscript was dropped off to Faison that they know he didn’t write. They think the character of the protagonists’s son is PK Sinclair, and also Faison’s son who double-crossed him by keeping Jason alive. They have to find him before Faison does. Sonny asks if Anna knows of any other woman in Faison’s life. She can think of one in particular.

Dante tells Nathan the case is closed, and Nathan congratulates him. Dante asks if everything is okay, and Nathan says for now. He hopes it stays that way, now that he found out who his father is.

Lulu tells Maxie to calm down. Stress is no good for the baby. Maxie says neither is a psychopath for a grandfather. Lulu says she doesn’t think Maxie’s noble act is the way to go. Maxie asks what she’s supposed to do? Blubber to Nathan, and tell him the baby might end up like its grandfather? Lulu says the baby already has the best parents; it doesn’t matter. Maxie says it does.

Finn hears the door open, and says don’t even think of ordering him back to bed. Jordan says she wasn’t thinking about it, and he says he was just about to go see her. She tells him that she wants to talk to him about Cassandra Pearce. Who I keep wanting to call Cassandra Peterson (aka Elvira).

Maxie talks about recession genes skipping a generation, and Lulu tells her that she means recessive. She insists that Faison’s issues won’t be passed on through DNA. Nathan is amazing, and it comes from inside. That’s what he’ll pass on to the baby. Maxie wants to believe her, but wonders how she can be so sure.

Nathan tells Dante that he always knew something was off with his mother’s story, but it didn’t matter until he needed the medical records for the baby. He never imagined it’s what they’d find. His father is Caesar Faison. His mother was devoted to him, but knew Faison wasn’t father material, so she hid Nathan. Dante says he’s sorry, and Nathan says, so is he. His father is one of the ten most wanted criminals. He feels sick. How is he supposed to go forward and forget? Dante says he can’t; he has to learn to live with it.

Anna says Desiree was a French woman, devoted to Faison, who would have done anything for him, but she’s been dead for decades. Jason says if there was a son, there must be a record. Anna says she doubts it. Faison is a master at covering his tracks, so there’s probably no trace. Anna says she’ll let the WSB know what they’ve uncovered, and they should get on with their lives. Sonny says they want to make sure he’s gone for good, and she tells him to let the authorities handle it. Jason says they need to know, but she says that Faison already took five years from him; don’t let him take more. She leaves, and Sonny thinks there’s a helluva lot more she’s not saying.

Oscar wants to talk to Josslyn about something. He tells her that he finished the book about Edward last night. Josslyn wonders why he came over to talk about the book, and he says it’s super messed up. Lies, affairs, greed; he can’t believe they’re related. Josslyn asks if she shouldn’t have given it to him, but he says after reading it, he feels like a multi-faceted, interesting, legit person now. Carly shows up with snacks, and asks what going on? Josslyn says, absolutely nothing.

Jordan tells Finn that she thought Anna would be there. There’s been a development in the case. Finn says he knows why she’s here, and he’ll make it easier for the both of them. It’s time he told the truth. She asks if he’s making an official statement. He says he is, and she asks if he’s in shape to do that. He says he has to get it out. The memories aren’t clear, but he’s pretty sure – Anna cuts in, telling Jordan what he’s trying to say, is that he went after Cassandra, but was too incapacitated to do it. Jordan says that pans out. They know who drugged her and left her to die.

Dante isn’t comparing his and Nathan’s situations, saying Sonny is deeply flawed, but he does have a code and a conscience. He has no idea what it’s like to go through what Nathan is. Dante tells Nathan about being undercover, and not knowing Sonny was his father, until Sonny tried to kill him. Dante was filled with rage, and didn’t know what to do with it. He didn’t want to take it out on his mother, and had to choose. He chose the things they shared, and rejected what they didn’t. Nathan is a grown-ass man (Assman Landers – sorry, I had to). He knows who he is. He already rejected Faison without trying. He grew up privileged, and could have used that to his benefit, but chose to be a good man. That’s not going to change.

Lulu tells Maxie that the baby will grow up safe, healthy, and happy. She can’t wait to meet the individual they’ll raise. She knows the both of them, and knows it’s a safe, stable home. Maxie says like with Charlotte, and Lulu says that’s why she fought for custody. The Cassadines are a nightmare, but there’s a lot to nurture vs nature. Maxie is grateful for Lulu’s friendship. She’s even grateful that Obrecht gave Nathan to her sister to raise. Lulu says, so Faison doesn’t know? Maxie says she’s got to go, and jets.

Carly asks Josslyn if she’s sure everything is okay, and Josslyn says it’s fine. Oscar asks if he did something wrong. Josslyn says no, he’s just being complex and multi-faceted. He asks if they’re having a fight, and she says maybe. He tells her he’s sorry, and she asks for what? He says he did something, but he’s not sure what. Josslyn tells him to go. He leaves, and Carly comes back. Josslyn tells her that Oscar is a jerk, and Carly asks what he did. Josslyn says he didn’t ask her to the ball. The doorbell rings. Josslyn doesn’t want to see Oscar. Carly answers, and says she’ll want to see this. Oscar comes in wearing a giant Mad Hatter hat, and says some lines from Alice in Wonderland. He asks Josslyn to the ball.

Sonny talks to Britt on the phone, telling her the time frame is the late 80s or early 90s. He knows it’s like a needle in a haystack, but it’s all they have. He tells Jason that if anyone can find Desiree, it’s Britt. He thinks the kindest thing for Anna would be to put a bullet in Faison’s head, but they have to find him first. Jason wants to make sure he never hurts anyone else; the answers won’t change anything. Sonny asks if that’s because Sam is staying with Drew.

Drew tells Sam it’s no big deal. They just have to wait a little longer.

Jordan says Cassandra’s accomplice, Eric, confessed. He didn’t know her intentions, and had no stomach for murder. Finn says, but he tried to murder Cassandra? Jordan says that after Anna and Valentin overpowered him – Anna interjects that it was just her doing the overpowering – Eric went back to Anna’s house to confront Cassandra. He told her that he was out. Cassandra attacked him with a syringe, and he turned the tables. He heard Anna come in, and he hid. Anna asks if he moved the body, and Jordan says that’s his statement. This chapter is closed for the two of them. They’re free to live their lives, and see what the new year holds. Anna thanks her for coming in person,

After Jordan leaves, Finn asks Anna if she believes it. She doesn’t know. She didn’t think Eric had a conscience, but all she cares about is that it cleared him. Finn thinks maybe Jordan is right, and they should see what the new year holds, starting with getting out of there.

Sam tells Drew there’s no time like the present.

Sonny says Jason didn’t mention anything about New Year’s Eve. He has nothing to say, and Sonny says that Carly said something happened between him and Sam. Before Jason can answer, Sam calls. She needs to see Jason, and asks him to come to the office; the sooner the better. He tells Sonny that he has to go.

Sam tells Drew that Jason is on his way. Drew asks if she wants him there, or does she want to do it alone?

Josslyn asks if Oscar set her up, leading her on to crush her, then asking her to the ball? He says he started second guessing himself, and was afraid she thought it might be lame. She didn’t mention the dance, so he thought she wasn’t interested. She’s unique, and maybe it’s not cool enough for her, so he panicked. When she kicked him out, he realized he was being dumb and he’d never know if he didn’t ask, so he figured he’d go big or go home. Josslyn says he really is a little mad, but like Alice said, all the best people are, so she’ll be his date.

Nathan says Faison is dangerous, even more so if he knows he has a grandchild. He needs to find Faison and shut him down. Dante says Faison hasn’t lived this long being stupid. He needs to do what he can to smoke him out and put him behind bars.

Maxie goes to see Sonny. She apologizes for her rudeness, and starts to babble, saying she needs to tell him something. He suggests she take a breath, telling her breathing is good for the baby. She says what’s also good for the baby is him swearing he won’t tell anyone that Faison is the grandfather.

Josslyn puts on the hat, and Oscar says it looks better on her. Carly comes back in, and says it looks like everything worked out. Oscar says he’d like to take Josslyn to the ball, and Carly suggests she not wear the hat. He has to go, but he’s glad he asked her. Josslyn says she’s glad she said yes. She walks Oscar to the door, saying it’s going to be a special night. Not just the dance. She has something that’s going to blow his mind. Carly overhears.

Sam tells Drew it’s simpler if she handles it alone, She wants to accomplish it with minimal friction. He says he’ll be in his office, and she tells him that she has this.

Maxie is freaked that Anna knows, but Sonny says she’s an experienced WSB agent, and she’s family. If anyone can protect the baby, it’s her. Maxie says it’s a deep, dark secret, and already three people know. Sonny swears no one is hearing it from him or Jason. She has his word. She says Spinelli promised not to say anything until he needs to tell Georgie. Sonny tells her not to borrow trouble, but she says it’s already here. If Faison finds out, who knows what he’ll do.

Nathan says he can’t change past, but can put stop to it now. Dante says he’s with him, and goes to finish up. Lulu comes in, and says Nathan must have contacts and leads she doesn’t know about, and vice versa. How about working together to bring Faison down for good?

Dante tells Jordan that he’s leaving for the day, and asks how Anna is. She says for a moment, it seemed like Finn was confessing, but it’s not possible. One look at him, and you could tell he couldn’t swat a fly, let alone carry a body out and dump it. They have a signed confession, and everybody is happy. Dante doesn’t look too happy though.

Anna tells Finn he can’t leave without a doctor signing off, but he says he needs to get out. She’s not fighting him if he insists on leaving, but if he does, she insists on him coming home with her.

Sam looks at a picture of her and Drew. Jason arrives at Sam’s office. They give each other a long soap opera look.

Tomorrow, Ned says he’s not running for mayor, Michael sees Nelle for who she is, and Sam tells Jason that she needs a divorce.

Vanderpump Rules

The entire SUR tribe of servers gathers at Schwartz and Katie’s apartment. Tom says Schwartz is such a good friend, he’s trying to take the heat off of Jax. Schwartz tells Jax that apparently he got drunk and made out with a chick. Katie comes home, and says she didn’t remember inviting Jax, so he goes back to his apartment on his motorized cooler. I’m not kidding. I’m watching this big guy motor down the hall, sitting on a cooler. He tells us it makes for a quick getaway. Jax is like a cartoon character.

With the gang all there, Katie says it’s the last time Schwartz is using the excuse of getting wasted, If he wants to be married to her, he’s not drinking like that anymore. Schwartz tells her that she’s not going to tell him what to do. Wrong move. She stands up, and says she can’t believe he’s the same guy she married, and everyone wept over their vows. She trusted him, and feels like she doesn’t even know him. Wait. Who’s that extra dude on the couch?

At SUR, Lauren asks Lala if she remembers how everything works, and Lala says Lauren will probably see her looking confused. She thanks Lisa for having her back, and Lisa tells her to be consistent. If Lala runs away, she’s not chasing her.

Jax asks Brittany if she’s still ready for the housewarming party. Jax thinks it will make it harder for his friends to talk sh*t about him if they drink his booze and eat his food. Brittany’s goal is to have a night where they hang out with their friends, and the focus isn’t on the relationship. Katie asks Lala if she can step away and talk. She’s wondering what possessed Lala to talk about Schwartz’s indiscretion.

Katie tells Lala she thought they were cool, and asks why Lala is talking to Scheana about her relationship. Lala says Scheana told her Katie had been making comments about her relationship, and she felt like her dukes were up again. Katie says she can’t argue with it, but thinks Scheana took the opportunity to throw her under the bus. She apologizes to Lala. Katie wants the deets, and Lala says he kept accidentally calling her friend “Bubba.” In her interview, Katie says it makes her stomach turn. She says the marriage has been bliss, and she wants him to get his sh*t together.

Lisa arrives at the bar, and asks for half a glass of rosé, which is like a full glass in some bars. She and Katie go somewhere private. Katie tells her that Schwartz claims he blacked out and doesn’t remember. Lisa says a partnership is like a marriage, and she’s not putting up with the BS Katie is. Katie doesn’t want it to ruin Schwartz’s opportunity, but Lisa says she’s going to talk to him, and he has every reason to be scared.

Harrison! Lisa gives the flower arranger instructions on how to make it look better. She tells Stassi she just got a ticket for not quite stopping at a stop sign, and she’s kind of guilty. She gives Stassi kudos for Guillermo’s party. She says it’s going to be Harrison’s birthday soon, but Stassi’s not there yet. Stassi tells Lisa about the housewarming party. Lisa can’t begin to understand it. Stassi says Brittany should be looking for a new apartment, not warming this one. Despite her feelings, she wants to go, and Lisa says nothing has changed.

The guys go to a painting class. Schwartz says it’s like a more mellow version of a Hunter S. Thompson adventure. A huge question mark hangs over my head. Schwartz isn’t drinking today because he’s going to see Katie later. Tom breaks out some absinthe, and convinces him to take one shot. Like James, Schwartz calls it the green fairy. We flash back to Jax’s night of drinking absinthe with James. I flash back to a night of drinking it with my friend Jane. We ended up singing show tunes in the park. Tom paints a penis on his apron. Jax asks Schwartz how it’s going, and Tom asks about Brittany. Jax says she’s out with the girls right now.

Brittany tells the girls she’s doing better. She was hoping Jax would be a better person, even though her brain tells her he can’t.

Schwartz asks if Jax is on probation, but Jax says more like community service. He asks how it’s possible Schwartz doesn’t remember, but Schartz says he told Katie he’d take a lie detector test. Their paintings are actually not bad.

Brittany talks about the party with Katie and Kristen. She says she doesn’t really know Lala. Katie says Lala claims Scheana triggered her. In her interview, Katie says Scheana’s boyfriend is also playing games. Kristen says Jen from SUR also works in another restaurant, and saw Rob kiss a girl there. When she pulled up a picture of him and Scheana, asking if she was his girlfriend, he was vague. She thinks he’s going to break Scheana’s heart. Ohh, he must be the mystery guy from the couch.

Scheana says she finally feels like she’s with a man. She’s finally with someone who works. Tom and Ariana come for dinner to new boyfriend Rob’s place, where Scheana has hired a private chef. They marvel over the house. Tom jokes that it’s almost as nice as their place. Scheana says it’s the opposite of her relationship with Shay, and we flash back to them eating take-out on the coffee table. Rob makes a pretentious toast, and Tom is impressed. He says he’s not Rob-sessed, but he gets why Scheana is with him. In her interview, Ariana isn’t sure which of the three of them is more in love with Rob. Rob says dessert is like sex, and Scheana says good thing he’s getting both tonight. Tom mumbles to Ariana, asking if they can be on that level. Scheana has a countdown app on her phone that tells her how long until she’s officially divorced. A little over a month to go now.

Schwartz brings his painting of Tom home. He says it’s his way of saying sorry. Katie wonders why he didn’t paint her instead. He confesses to his one absinthe shot. Katie says she talked to Lala, and tells him about calling the girl “Bubba.” She says Lisa is actually upset. She asked him to be a partner, and is concerned about him getting drunk to the point of blacking out. He promises not to be douchey, but he can’t imagine not hanging out with the guys. Katie says they’re married; he’s not married to his friends. He thinks that’s a stupid statement, so obviously doesn’t understand what married means.

Ariana and Lala go shopping. Ariana is glad to have her back at SUR. Lala says Brittany is a bigger person than she is. She wishes every woman would know their worth. Ariana says there’s no actual consequences, and Lala thinks dogs should be put in the doghouse. She asks Ariana how it’s going with Tom, and Ariana says she doesn’t really want anyone touching her who-ha. She explains that she’s always had issues with her body, and they were reinforced by an abusive relationship. When they started dating, everything was exciting, and it wasn’t there, but now it’s taking up space in her head. Lala says she literally talks to and thanks every part of her body every morning. She thinks Ariana should get into that routine, and says she’s perfection.

Schwartz and Katie bring their dogs to Vanderpup Pets for some grooming. Lisa asks Schwartz to talk upstairs. He feels like a dead man walking, and says it figures his last meal was a Lean Pocket, not even a Hot Pocket. He tells Lisa that he knows he took it too far, but doesn’t remember anything; it’s an unfortunate, sloppy accident. Lisa says she’s not just invested in his relationship, but they have a partnership. It’s like a marriage, and you have to treat each other with respect. She wonders if he’s going to tell her he blacked out, banged the waitress, doesn’t know where the money is, and lost the keys. It’s time to grow the eff up. He says he’s taking it seriously, and she tells him to take his wife seriously. In her interview, Lisa says Schwartz nearly woke up without his wife, and next time, it will be without his business partner. Schwartz apologizes Katie.

Kristen and Scheana help Brittany set up for the party. Brittany says it was Jax’s idea, but her girls are coming, and she knows they have her back. Kristen tells Scheana about Rob kissing a hostess at another restaurant. She showed him a photo of the two of them and asked if it wasn’t his girlfriend, and he mumbled no. Scheana isn’t believing it. She says they hardly kiss. He’s not a kisser, and she finds it not believable. I don’t care how nice his house is. If a man wasn’t a kisser, I’d dump him immediately. Kristen says Katie felt attacked, and it was brought to her attention. Scheana thought it was her obligation as Lala’s friend to tell her about what Katie said. In her interview, she thinks Katie is the devil. Kristen says Scheana is doing that fake thing, but Scheana says she’s known Rob for eleven years, and he’d never do something like that. Uh-huh.

James brings a toilet paper cake, since Jax is a piece of sh*t. Brittany’s only rule is that everyone has to be drunk.

Schwartz thinks he needs a new haircut. One that reflects how he used to black out, but is reformed now, even though he still likes to get drunk. Katie does not find his joking amusing.

Drinking games happen. Katie thinks Schwartz looks like a kid with chicken pox watching his friends play outside. Scheana is texting with Rob that what Kristen claims happened is BS. Jax thinks she wouldn’t notice Rob unless he was in the background of one of her selfies. Scheana talks to Stassi about how the first month without Shay was difficult, but now she’s looking forward to getting a house with Rob one day. In her interview, Stassi says Scheana is acting like they’re best friends, and her babbling is the reason they’re not close friends. She says nothing truthful or real. Scheana babbles some more, and Stassi needs another cocktail.

Lots of shotskis are hoisted. James raps while Tom is the rhythm section. Jax talks to Rob privately about how he wanted attention, and now he’s in a bad place and wants to fix it. Brittany comes in, and asks what’s happening? She thinks Jax should be talking to her, and says he’s treated her like sh*t. Lala and Kristen listen in. Brittany says she put her belief in Jax because she loves him. Jax applauds, and says the Oscar goes to Brittany. Oh boy, was that a bad move. Brittany walks out, saying eff ya’ll. Ugh. I can’t stand Jax.

Brittany goes back to the party. Lala tells Ariana about Jax yelling at Brittany. She tells Ariana that Faith had audio on the phone from when they got together, with Jax saying he’s never going to marry her. James had gotten it, and sent it to her. In his interview, James says it’s awkward, because he’s friends with Faith and Jax. Brittany is a sweet girl, and it’s a mess. Lala wonders if she should tell Brittany. Ariana thinks Jax is a despicable human being. Most definitely. Lala says Jax doesn’t deserve any woman, much less one like Brittany, but she doesn’t want to ruin Brittany’s night. Ariana asks if she’d rather ruin Brittany’s life. Good point, but they might want to wait until a moment of sobriety.

But no. Lala calls her over. Ariana says she loves Brittany so much. Lala asks to talk to her for a second, and Ariana keeps saying she’s sorry. Brittany is like, what happened now? and Ariana tells her about the audio. Brittany says, let’s do it, and listens. Jax is all happy with his bros in the kitchen, but not for long. Brittany says, are you effing kidding me? and storms in, calling Jax a piece of sh*t. She tells him rot in hell, and get the eff out.

Next time, DJ James is back, Brittany wants Jax gone, and Tom screams at Ariana.

👱 The girls on RelationShep have moved to private quarters, much to everyone’s relief. I have to admit to my hat being off to Cameran, who I sometimes don’t like too much on Southern Charm. It was her idea, and shows that they’re both concerned about the comfort of the ladies. Shep called it quits with young Kylie, who he realized he has little in common with. He told her that she’s still “green,” and needs to explore the world for herself, and he’s more of a pirate who likes some arrgh! in his life. Now, only Priscila and Peyton are left, and I’m leaning toward Priscila.

🚓  I need a partner in crime, and you’re the law. – Shep giving Kylie the big kiss off

🎶 🎤 Happy Birthday to The King of Rock and Roll 👑

When I was a child, ladies and gentlemen, I was a dreamer. I read comic books, and I was the hero of the comic book. I saw movies, and I was the hero in the movie. So every dream that I ever dreamed, has come true a hundred times… I learned very early in life that, “Without a song, the day would never end. Without a song, a man ain’t got a friend. Without a song, the road would never bend.” So I keep singing a song. – Elvis Presley, from the Elvis Presley newsletter

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Jan2

January 1, 2018 – A Vanderpump Mini-cap & a Little Shep

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

Although today was a holiday, Bravo decided not to take the night off. Andy Cohen is still on his endless vacation, but Lisa Vanderpump and Shep Rose were still at work, and had new episodes tonight. I rode the fence by watching, and making a CliffsNotes version of the usual post. Not nearly as annoyingly detailed, but possibly still rambling. It’s going to be another week of not knowing what day it is.

Vanderpump Rules

Tom and Schwartz met with Ken and Lisa about the new restaurant, TomTom. Having partied with Jax the night before, the Toms prepped by listening to Eminem’s Lose Yourself multiple times. The meeting was at Villa Rosa, so, Giggy! Harrison! Lisa hadn’t been too thrilled with Tom’s negativity, and was thisclose to severing ties. She finally relented, with the guys kicking in $50K each for 5% ownership each, considerably less than Lisa’s original request of $120K for 10%. In her interview, Lisa said she just pulled the figure out of her “English ass,” but it was highly unlikely that they could get the restaurant off the ground for $1.2 million.

Jax came home while the girls were still there, griping that it was his house. He started in with the I-pay-for-everything crap, and Brittany lost her cool, smacking him around and telling him to get out. He refused to budge, then tried to deflect the blame, saying it was the fault of Brittany’s girlfriends, who filled her head with nonsense. This went over about as well as you’d think it would.

Lala started her return on the right foot by telling Scheana and Ariana that Schwartz made out with one of her friends when he was drunk – after he was married to Katie. The friend said he kept calling her “Bubba,” which is their pet name for each other, so who knows? Maybe he thought she was Katie. Claiming that she had intended to keep it to herself, Lala made this announcement in retaliation for Katie saying her boyfriend is married. During a private conversation. With big mouth Scheana present. Lala declared Katie no longer safe, because Katie “messed with her relationship.” Funny though, I could have sworn Lala said he was separated on Watch What Happens Live. Regardless, it seemed like an overreaction. Katie had actually apologized afterwards, but Scheana left that part out. Of course, nothing is private with this group, so Katie took her chances. Lala immediately reverted back to her creepy, insecure ways by hoping Katie’s marriage came to an end over this.

Stassi planned LVP’s partner Guillermo’s birthday party at SUR, and Lisa seemed pleased with the results. Stassi had the guests take Polaroid selfies and put them in a scrapbook for the birthday boy, which is an idea I love. Ariana called Schwartz out about Lala’s friend in private during the party, and he claimed not to remember. Déjà vu, anyone? No surprise, the news traveled fast, and Schwartz said, I have no recollection, more times than I could count, and compared himself to a werewolf. Lisa was like, wtf? and told us she’s taking it personally, since she was their officiant. Katie was wearing amazing gigantic black and gold earrings, and it was like the battle of the earrings when she was talking to Lisa, who had humongous gold and gemstone danglers hanging from her ears. It kept diverting my attention.

At another bar, Jax and James got drunk on absinthe, which James described tasting like a little green fairy that goes down your throat and rips your balls off. That really doesn’t sound like much fun to me. Next time, Katie lays down the law to Schwartz.

👱  RelationShep continues to be a fun watch. Andy Cohen referred to Shep as a human Golden Retriever, and I think that’s pretty accurate. He’s goodhearted and pleasant, and has better manners than the Golden I had. The girls seem nice enough, but now they’ve been shoved together in a house, which doesn’t always bring out the best in people. Tonight, after “over-drinking,” houseguest Peyton grumbled to Shep, wondering what he could possibly see in someone fresh out of college, referring to Kylie, who is twenty-two. To be fair, Shep had asked Peyton how it was going, and she started by telling him it was an awkward dating situation. She ended up walking out (of the conversation, not the house), and Shep considered this a “public confrontation.” I guess it is where he comes from, but I would have considered it more like cross words in the kitchen. Shep and Cameran (Southern Charm) met for lunch, and she told him it could be a signal that Peyton is needy. I’d like to know how Cameran would have felt if she had to live with several women vying for her man. Arden realized that, although Shep is a nice guy, there was no connection, and packed her bags. Summer showed up uninvited, and Shep felt the only right decision would be to put her up in a hotel. When she arrived, complete with her French bulldog, and was told she couldn’t stay there, she did not seem too happy about it. I would have let the dog stay. Many of the Southern Charmers have made appearances, since the house is in Charleston. Unlike The Bachelor, the next step is for the final four to live in separate dwellings, which at least alleviates some of the pressure. It seems Shep feels it as well, knowing that, like dogs with bones, the girls are keeping an eye on him and noting how much time he spends with each. I’ve always had multiple pets, and there have been a few I would swear mentally logged how much attention I paid to the other ones. These contestants/houseguests/potential girlfriends are kind of like that.

🎉 Hope your New Year’s Eve was everything you wanted, and nothing you didn’t.

CaseyInTie (3)

Casey in New Year’s Eve Formalwear

 

 

Dec12

December 11, 2017 – Andre Has an Ally, Brittany Goes to Vegas & a Little Shep

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What I Watched Today

(rambling, random thoughts & annoyingly detailed recaps from real time TV watching)

 

 

General Hospital

 

All Britt knows is that her father thought Jason was dead, was furious when he found out otherwise, and wanted the traitor dead. Sonny asks if she knew the traitor’s name, but she says no. She’s truly sorry, but says Jason not only survived, he’s in excellent shape. Why not just move on? Jason says because her father gave his life to someone else.

Drew asks how well she knew him. She says they didn’t know each other long, but their time together was pretty intense. She got pregnant, and Oscar is his son. Sam overhears.

Michael tells Carly that Nelle is pregnant, and Nelle says, congratulations, grandma. <snort> Carly says it’s the oldest trick in the book. Michael says the doctor confirmed it, and she’s six-weeks along. Carly says the baby isn’t his.

Anna goes into the interrogation room, and tells Andre this is a fine predicament.

At the hospital, Finn tells Cassandra that the last test he was worried about is negative; she’s completely in the clear. She wonders why he’s looking upset, and he says he wasted her time, and brought her all the way there for nothing. She says it wasn’t a complete waste, and asks why he’s being so formal with her. He says it has nothing to do with her, and she wonders what’s put him in a foul mood.

Sonny says they know Britt and Faison checked in three days ago. Wasn’t he worried about being recognized? She says her father has a talent for being incognito. She explains that before coming back, they traveled all over Europe, naming some major cities. Jason asks if they went to St. Petersburg, and she says they did. He wonders why they were touring the financial capitals. Sonny thinks maybe he was tracing where the traitor had gone. Jason says maybe he was following the traitor’s path, to see what else they might have done.

Sam joins Kim and Drew, saying she didn’t mean to eavesdrop. Drew asks if Oscar knows, and Kim says she hasn’t told him, but he started asking questions after his brother showed up on Thanksgiving. She says she wore her heart on her sleeve, seeing a face she knew. Drew says, just when think it can’t get more strange. Kim tells him that they hit it off fast, and spent a couple of months together. It wasn’t a fling; they had a real connection, but he was scheduled to be deployed with an open-ended tour. They both knew they’d probably never see each other again. Drew asks if she let him leave without telling him she was pregnant.

Nelle says It’s common knowledge that Carly didn’t know who Michael’s father was, trying to pass him off as Tony Jones’s child, and then AJ’s. No one seemed to have any issue about her sleeping with two brothers, and her stepfather. Nelle says she’s not promiscuous, and has only been with Michael. Carly interjects that it was after she pretended to sleep with Sonny. Carly says she thinks it’s going to be her golden ticket, but the first thing they’re doing is a paternity test.

Andre didn’t expect to see Anna. She asks if he doesn’t think she cares about the people affected?  Or him? He tells her that he didn’t think she wanted anything to do with him. She says he was a good friend when she needed one, and she wants to be one for him, but she has to understand why this happened or why he didn’t come to her. He says he didn’t want to bother her, but she thinks he didn’t want her to know he was playing God with everyone’s lives. She asks, why? Andre says why does it matter? He can’t undo it. Anna says when he came to her that night to say goodbye, he told her that she’d hear things that would make him sound bad, and he wanted her to hold on to the good. She has, and believes him and knows him. She knows someone or something powerful made him do it; it just doesn’t make sense. What was so important that he destroyed all these lives, including his own? Andre says, his wife.

Finn explains to Cassandra that he’s developed a new painkiller that could revolutionize the treatment of patients, but the board is refusing to fund it. Cassandra says that’s shortsighted. The royalties from his last discovery is keeping life in the hospital. He says it doesn’t technically treat an illness, but making patients comfortable is part of their treatment. He tells her that they’re concerned about it being highly addictive if administered incorrectly. Cassandra asks if he’s put in a new drug application, and says he might have to just live with the satisfaction of saving lives. Finn says this time he’d like to get paid, and she says, as well he should.

Jason says maybe killing him wasn’t the traitor’s only job. Maybe they were handling operations in other cities, and Faison wanted to see if they were being handled correctly. Sonny asks Britt what kind of mood he was in, and she says it wasn’t that great to begin with, and got steadily worse. Jason asks when he went out, and what he was wearing when she did. Britt says mostly suits in the daytime, but he went out occasionally in the evening. Jason says those cities are financial capitals, and Sonny thinks Faison needed a clear picture on what the traitor did. He asks Britt if the traitor is dead, and if that’s why he left.

Josslyn and Oscar walk in the park. She says he doesn’t have to see the results. He’s gone his entire life without knowing, and if he wants to go on not knowing, it’s okay. He says it’s not okay to hide from the truth. She tells him to just click, and he asks her to do it. She does, and asks if he wants to look at it, or should she just tell him. Oscar wants her to tell him, and Josslyn says Drew is his father.

Kim didn’t know she was pregnant when Drew left. She found out weeks after he was deployed. Drew says he’s sorry she went through it alone, and Kim says he didn’t do it on purpose. He was a different man in a different life. She tells him it didn’t feel right putting it in a letter, and she couldn’t email or call because he was classified, and she wasn’t family. In all fairness, she didn’t tell his superiors; she thought he should know first. After Oscar was born, the most important thing was to make sure he was loved and cared for and protected. She finished her internship, then her residency and specialty. There was a lot of life to deal with, and she questioned whether or not to drop the bomb on him. The Drew she knew was dedicated to the SEALs. He’d told her once that it wasn’t fair to ask someone to wait, and she wondered if he’d even welcome the news. She thought it was better for Oscar not to know, especially if he didn’t want anything to do with him. Then one Christmas, after the presents were unwrapped, Oscar had fallen asleep. He’d been so excited about Santa, he’d been up all night. At that moment, she realized she was robbing him of all the moments. She contacted the Navy in 2013, but they told her he’d deserted.

Michael tells Carly that he was thinking the same thing, but right now wanted to focus on the pregnancy. One step at a time. Nelle asks if he’s still questioning that he’s the father. Carly says they wouldn’t believe her if she said the sky was blue. Nelle tells Michael that he knows the dates. Michael says he’s constantly caught her in lies, and he’s been lied to before about a child being his, then had the rug pulled out from under him. It’s not happening again, and he won’t believe her until it’s proven.

Andre tells Anna that his wife’s name is Kita; he called her Kato. He met her at an art show, but could focus only on her. She was beautiful with an intoxicating laugh. Her life was like a light, and she was way out of his league. He was scared to talk to her, but as he was leaving, she stopped him. She said if he was going to stare at her all night, at least buy her a drink, and he did. Anna says she sounds incredible. Andre says he fell hard, and they moved in together after six months. She was his best friend, and they were so in love. He joined the WSB, and was sent overseas for a year, but she couldn’t come with him. They decided to elope, so they would stay committed to each other. Anna says he keeps talking about her in the past tense; what happened? Jordan is walking by the door, and hears them. He says after they were married for three months, her sister called him. Something was wrong. Kita was disoriented and losing her memory. He came back, and found out it was the early onset of Alzheimer’s. Anna says, so he created the memory map to save the woman he loved. By now, they’re both crying. Andre says he couldn’t lose her. Jordan listens outside the door.

Britt doesn’t think the traitor is dead; her father was too agitated, and would have been calmer. He got a phone call the other night, and went out. He came back in a foul mood, and said they had to go. Jason asks what this is, showing her a half-burned manuscript by P.K. Sinclair. I get so excited, I don’t even notice the title, which might possibly be significant.

Kim tells Drew that she’s sorry. Drew says given what she knew, she did the best thing. Kim tells him, now it’s up to him to decide what happens next.

Oscar asks Josslyn if this is really happening; Drew is his father. Josslyn can’t believe it’s happening either. He says he’s overwhelmed and shocked. It was one thing to think Drew was his father, and another to have the proof. Josslyn says, omg, the Quartermaines. They’re Drew’s family, and now they’re Oscar’s too, including Michael. He was named after Sonny, but his father is a Quartermaine. Oscar asks if he and Josslyn are related, and she says not even close. She only has half-siblings, and now he does too. Scout is his half-sister. He says it’s kind of cool, but doesn’t know how to process it. His whole life, it’s just been him and his mom. Now, there are all these people, a sister, the Quartermaines. He wonders if it’s a good thing or a bad thing.

Andre spent years developing a master plan that could save Kita, but by the time it was viable, she was too far gone. The light, the energy that was so much a part of her, had been extinguished. She didn’t even know him. Anna asks where she is, and Andre tells her in a facility under her parents care. She occasionally remembered them, but never him. He says with Jason and Andrew, he didn’t mean for things to go this far. He was truly trying to help. Anna believes him. She says she’ll talk to the authorities on his behalf, and Andre says that’s more than he deserves. She tells him take care of himself, and he says her too. She gets up, and he says whoever is behind this is someone powerful. He tells her to be careful, and she tells him to be careful too. When Anna is gone, Jordan walks in. She asks if he was never going to tell her he was married.

Britt says P.K. Sinclair was a pen name her father used when he wrote a series of books about a spy named Daphne in the 80s. Jason wonders why he’d torch his own book, and she says she doesn’t know about that manuscript; she doesn’t think he wrote it. It just showed up, and the last thing he did before he left, was put it in the fireplace. Sonny wonders what about the book could make him so nervous?

Kim tells Drew to take all the time he needs, and she’ll do a DNA test if he wants. She’s not expecting anything from him. She’s been taking care of Oscar his whole life, and they’re just fine. If he doesn’t want a relationship, that’s okay too. Drew didn’t mean to imply that, and she tells him sorry to throw his life in turmoil. Geez, he should be used to it by now. She’s sure they have a lot to talk about, but whatever he decides, she asks him not to do it tonight. She owes it to Oscar to tell him the truth first. Drew asks what Oscar is like; he’s met him a few times, and he seems like a good kid. Kim says he’s a great kid, and a fine young man – just like he was. She leaves, and Sam hugs Drew.

Cassandra says she’s all clear, and Finn has made his last note. She’s no longer his patient. Finn says technically, no. She says then there’s no good no reason to decline her invitation to meet tomorrow, and enjoy a conversation and meal. He says, as friends, and she says, what about colleagues? He asks what that’s about, and she thinks there’s a way they can help each other.

Jordan says Andre was married the whole time, but he says it’s not that simple. She says she would have understood, but he didn’t give her a chance. Andre tells her the marriage was dissolved years ago. Her family asked him to end it, so they could be her primary caregivers. He walked away from the woman he loved to give her peace. Jordan asks if he thought she would think less of him, and he says, yes. He had to put it in the past. He’s sorry. He knows he should have been honest, but was afraid of losing the first woman who made him feel like he could love again.

Nelle says she’s not jeopardizing her pregnancy with an invasive procedure. Carly says times have changed. It’s non-invasive now, and can be done as early as ten weeks. Michael says Nelle has no reason to worry or object. I wonder when Nelle would have had the time to be with someone else.

Britt says that Faison threw the manuscript in the fire, and said if she wasn’t going with him, she was on her own. She says she’s answered all of their questions, and asks if Sonny could answer one for her. She wonders how Ben has been. She knows he’s named Rocco now, but he’ll always be Ben to her. Sonny says he’s a good kid, and tells Britt that he had a long list for Santa. She thanks him for telling her, but he says don’t make him regret it. She can’t have contact with him or Spencer. She tells him that she won’t, and asks what now? He says he’s calling Dante, and telling him she’s there. Britt says she can save him the trouble. Give her a ride to the station. She’ll turn herself in.

Nelle says as long as they can guarantee it’s not invasive, go ahead and schedule the test. Michael will see she’s telling the truth. Carly says that will be a first. Nelle knows how they feel about her, but she’s not asking for anything. She tells Michael to sell the apartment. After this, there’s nothing connecting them. If he wants to be a father, she won’t stop him, but if not, it’s on him, but they’ll be fine.

Jordan says Andre should have told her the truth. She wouldn’t be walking around agonizing, thinking the man she once loved is a stranger. She thanks him, and understands. He tells her the whole time they were together, he kept accusing her of pulling away, but how could he expect her to be open when he wasn’t willing to let her see the real him? Here he is; the real him, finally. He hopes getting to know him now, brings her that peace. She says it’s nice to meet him too, and hopes he also gets the peace he needs.

Cassandra says she’ll set something up. Finn is curious as to how they help one another, and asks if she has any hints. She doesn’t want to ruin the surprise, but she might have something for him in her pharmaceutical company. They’ll discuss it, providing his lady friend doesn’t mind. Finn says she’s not part of this, and won’t mind. Cassandra goes into the elevator, and Finn sees Anna. She asks, what is he doing?

Jason believes the traitor kept him alive. Sonny says they don’t know if it’s even a man or a woman. Jason says maybe Drew saw them, since he was taken first. His memory was removed, but Andre took a baseline. Maybe he can give Drew his memories back. Didn’t Andre burn all the research?

Drew tells Sam that he doesn’t know how to proceed. He has a son now. How can they have a relationship after all these years? He doesn’t even know who he is. How can he make up for the years lost? Sam says he can’t, but he can start from here. He asks what about her, and she says nothing has changed. They knew he had a life before, and there might be more surprises. She’s in it for the long haul. If he wants to pursue a relationship with Oscar, she’s all in. They kiss.

Kim finds Oscar and Josslyn. Josslyn says she was just about to go. Kim says there’s something she wants to talk to Oscar about on the way home. He says he wants to talk about something too. Josslyn hugs him, and whispers, good luck. As they walk, Kim says she knows he’s been looking for answers.

Carly tells Michael when test proves Nelle is lying, she’ll be out of their lives for good. Michael asks what if it’s the truth? Carly says she’s lied about everything else. He says there’s a good chance the baby is his. If it is, she’s going to be part of their lives whether they like it or not.

Anna says Finn is doing the exactly what she told him not to. He asks if he’s a Labrador. He doesn’t work for her, and what he does on his own time is his business. She says he’s in over his head. He tells her that argument was nowhere to be found when she wanted him to deceive Cassandra before. He thinks he can play her, and she’ll be none the wiser. He cares as much as Anna does, and he’s moving forward, with or without her approval. She threatens to arrest him, and he tells her to go ahead. She just looks at him, and he says he didn’t think so. When he leaves, she says, okay, fine. Two can play at this game.

Tomorrow, Britt is glad to see someone, Laura takes on a new challenge, and Cassandra and Finn make a toast.

Vanderpump Rules

Lala looks good in the credits. There’s something a lot less harsh-looking about her.

Back at Scheana’s masquerade party, Schwartz says his instinct is to defend Jax. Brittany tells Jax if it’s true, she’s moving out, taking the dogs, and he can go to effing hell. Lisa approaches Faith, who swears Jax told her that he and Brittany were done. Seriously? She didn’t double-check that? Where was Brittany? In the bathroom? Lisa tells Brittany she doesn’t know what to believe. In her interview, Lisa never believes anything starting with I heard, but when it comes to Jax, it’s true. Jax says he’s blindsided. In his interview, he doesn’t understand, claiming he’s been faithful. Brittany is embarrassed, but Kristen and Scheana say she has nothing to be embarrassed about, and she’s the best thing that’s happened to all of them. Kristen tells Brittany that Jax is lucky she didn’t shove her stiletto down his throat and up his ass. Alrighty then. I hope she’s on my side in a fight. Inside, Jax calls for shots. Tom tells Scheana they don’t know for sure, and Jax says he’s not going to chase her down the street. Scheana says he should; her heart is broken, and he doesn’t deserve her.

James tells them that Faith missed her period. In his interview, Jax says this kind of sh*t ruins people’s lives. Like he didn’t have anything to do with it. Brittany thought he was changing for her, but if this is true, she’s punching him in his fake nose.

At Villa Rosa, Fadi the car broker brings Lisa a new offering from Ken. She tells us that she doesn’t like to be brattish in saying outright that she wants something, but is very good at hinting. Stassi drops by, and admires the car. In her interview, she says if being good at sex means a Rolls Royce, she must not be good, and needs to step it up.

Lisa asks what’s going on. She heard Stassi is interested in event planning. Stassi says she loves styling, decorating, and throwing parties, and event planning is like styling an atmosphere. If she’s going to learn from anyone, it’s Lisa. She wants to see if she’s cut out for this. Lisa says she’s extraordinarily bright, but a pita, and we flash back to Stassi being just that. Lisa thinks she definitely has a sense of style, something that can’t be taught; it has to be inherent. She asks Stassi to organize part of the restaurant for a party on Saturday. Stassi mentions that she’s gotten back together with Patrick. Lisa asks why not Jax? They discuss the situation with Brittany. Stassi says Jax is lucky she wasn’t at the party. She’s always wanted to impale someone, and put their head on a spike in her apartment. Lisa doesn’t get what the attraction is, and Stassi says Jax tells women what they want to hear. Lisa says he did the same thing to her, and Stassi says it’s a weird time to think about.

Brittany says too many people know about it and she has to tell her mom. Katie says she’s the last person who deserves this. She doesn’t know why he does this when he has perfect girl. She thinks he has a serious problem. She talks about the problems they’ve had, and how she found fake eyelashes on the counter. She wonders what’s wrong with her, and Katie tells Brittany that it wouldn’t matter; he would do this to anyone. Brittany says she’s going to Vegas. She’s single and is going to act like it.

Jax sticks his head in the room, but Brittany doesn’t want to look at him. He insists he didn’t do anything. and says someone is trying to sabotage him. He shows Brittany some texts, which don’t make things any better, and probably make them worse. She throws the phone at him, and says she hates him. He doesn’t deserve her. She moved, and left her family for him. She’s done. She hates him. Brittany cries on Katie’s shoulder, and Jax leaves.

James and Raquel go to PUMP. Lisa has funny sense of déjà vu, seeing Raquel’s super short short-shorts. We flash back to Brittany wearing similar ones when she had her job interview. James says the party was fun, but Lisa doesn’t quite agree. He says Raquel is interested in working at Vanderpump Pets. Harrison! Lisa asks what she does as a job, and Raquel says she’s a model and goes to school for kinesiology (it’s strange and complicated – google it). Lisa says it would probably be better if she volunteered. The volunteers do the brushing, walking, and cleaning up. In her interview, Lisa says Raquel is going to be on her knees with a scooper. She sarcastically tells Raquel to wear shorter shorts, and Raquel promises to dress appropriately for work.

James asks if he could take over SUR one night. Lisa says she thought the meeting wasn’t about him, and he says he thought he’d kill two birds with one stone, since she’s so busy. In his interview, James says he misses working for Lisa. In her interview, Lisa calls him a pita, but says she thought he’d come back, and hopefully be more mature. She might give it a try, but she’s not going to make it easy. He’s going to have to start at the bottom and work up. She gives him a maybe for Tuesdays.

It’s Ariana’s brother Jeremy’s birthday. Schwartz says it’s second party Katie wasn’t invited to that he’s attended in less than twelve hours. Ariana says Schwartz is schwasted. He never stopped drinking since he started at Scheana’s party, and at a certain point, it’s not cute. Tom gives Jeremy their house keys. In his interview, he says last time Jeremy interrupted their sex life, but they’re going through a dry spell now, and he might as well join the priesthood. James can’t believe Faith didn’t come.

Brit goes home, and talks to the dogs, but not Jax. He tries to talk to her, and she tells him to go away, then asks if he had her in their bed. He says no one has been there, and she calls him a liar. He can keep denying all he wants; he just looks like an idiot. She says to tell her the truth, and he says it is true. She tells him to rot in hell, and I’m totally on board with that. She talks about another time in their relationship when she went through months of denial. She asks why do that, and he says it was a bad time. Brittany says that when you love someone, you don’t do that. She didn’t do that to him, and would never do that to him. In her interview, he says they’ve been fighting for a long time, and we flash back to him being an a-hole in Kentucky. She hopes it was worth it. Wow. This is making me sad. Even though I can’t stand him, I feel badly for her. Brittany cries, as she holds one of the dogs. Seriously. She’s breaking my heart.

Pride Day is tomorrow, and Tom thinks it’s important that they go. He wants to surprise Lisa. He wants to do whatever it takes to keep the partnership alive. He says Jax has had a rough 24-hours. Oh, poor baby. Schwartz mumbles about Stockholm Syndrome. Ariana says Brittany deserves the world, or at least her boyfriend not screwing her friends. James tells them about Faith not getting her period. Tom wonders when Jax will stop pulling this sh*t.

Schwartz talks to Jax on the phone. Tom hunts him down. He tells Schwartz that he’s mad at Jax, and Schwartz starts crying, saying he’s been struggling. Tom says talk to him. Schwartz says, first of all, he’s drunk – ha-ha! Yeah, drunk and weepy. It’s the first time in his life he has no drive. Tom says Schwartz is his friend, and he’d never let anything happen to him. In his interview, Schwartz says he has all these new pressures, like being a husband. He tells Tom that he’s always anticipating a bad future. Tom says they’ll open up the bar,and it will be amazing. Schwartz is an awesome person, and it’s a privilege to know him. Schwartz says it goes both ways, and I lmao because they are both so drunk, and in that teary, sappy phase. In his interview, Schwartz hopes Lisa forgives Tom. Schwartz needs structure and stability to move on to the next chapter.

Brittany calls her mother, and says she needs her. She tells her mom about Jax, and that she’s going to Vegas. She slams the picture of them from her nightstand onto the floor. She says she should have known better, and just needed to tell her. Brittany’s mom says she loves her, and tells her to call back later. Brittany leaves for Vegas. In her interview, Brittany says she seriously thought she was going to marry Jax. She wanted it bad, and the thought of him cheating makes her want to cry. She tells us that you don’t treat someone like this if you love them, and he obviously doesn’t. Jax watches as she gets in a car. What an a-hole this guy is. I hope he dies alone.

It’s the Long Beach Gay Pride parade, and no surprise, Lisa is Grand Marshal. I don’t even think there can be a parade without LVP. Ken does the driving, and Lisa says she feels a lot of love. Everyone is being themselves, and that should be what life is about. Simply, and well put, and I agree. She sees Tom and Ariana, and asks where Schwartz is. He’s in the bathroom. Lisa makes a speech, but we don’t get to hear it. Ken asks about Jax, and Tom says he’s a mess. When he saw him last, he was in the fetal position on the couch. Tom says he loves Brittany, and Lisa says don’t defend him; he’ll look ridiculous. Tom says at least Jax admitted it. In her interview, Lisa says she’s not enamored of Jax’s eff-ups, and hopes Brittany dumps him. We visit the leather tent. In his interview, Tom says he really doesn’t understand BDS&M, but since they’re going through a dry spell, maybe there’s something to it. He asks Ariana if she thinks it might solve some of their issues, and she discusses exploring it with some dude who I guess is an expert. In her interview, Ariana tells us about some of the problems she and Tom are having, including him wanting to go to karaoke six nights a week, which I find nothing wrong with.

Ariana says when she lived in NYC, Pride Day always fell on her birthday. Lisa asks about Brittany, and Ariana tells her that Brittany is in Vegas. She’s disgusted, and wants to move on. Tom babbles about Jax loving her, and how he can’t help himself. Lisa says Jax has a different definition of love. Don’t tell her, show her. Yep. Take note, mostly men. Tom apologizes about criticizing her part in the restaurant. He says he just wants to get the bullsh*t out of the way. Lisa says show her. In her interview, she says she doesn’t need their expertise or their money. She doesn’t need anything from them, but the feel good factor.

Kristen visits Stassi, and asks if she’s excited for tonight. Stassi says when she started feeling romantic again, she felt like people would judge her for going back to Patrick. Kristen thinks she and Patrick get each other, and wants to start planning the wedding; she loves them together. Patrick comes in. He’s wearing a man bun, which immediately makes me cringe, since Josh from Sweet Home Oklahoma is the only man I’ll accept wearing one. Stassi says she missed their joking and laughing – and his man bun. She says he’s like a warrior; like someone from out of Game of Thrones. Double no, just no.

Brittany goes to work. Ariana says she looks tan and gorgeous. Brittany says Vegas was awesome. Ariana asks how she’s been, but she doesn’t know. She has different feelings. Sometimes she’s sad, sometimes she’s mad, and she’s heartbroken. She said she was going to act single, but everybody grossed her out. Scheana says it’s been six months, and she’s not ready yet, but acts like she is. Brittany says she just wants to be alone, and clear her mind. Everyone is supportive.

In the limo, Patrick says he’s trying to keep everyone happy, and Stassi says she’s trying to keep him happy. He tells her the outfit is helping. She’s wearing a slinky, strapless, low-cut black jumpsuit that looks fantastic on her. They go to a restaurant, and when they order, I almost find it cute that they say the same thing at the same time. Almost. Stassi tells Patrick about talking to Lisa regarding event planning. He asks if she has ideas, and she says she’s watched a million YouTube videos. She says listening to his podcast makes her insecure about hers. She wants him to hear hers, and tell her what she’s doing wrong. He says somehow hers got turned into a juggernaut, then has to explain that word, along with a couple of others he uses. In her interview, Stassi says she’s never been in a dating situation where she wasn’t the smart one.

Patrick tells her that she’s a really good person, batsh*t crazy, and uber talented. He’s taking a trip to Amsterdam, and says it will be a good experience for him. Getting back together taught them a lesson: don’t talk when you’re apart, and when you’re back together, don’t talk about what happened when you were apart. In her interview, Stassi says she wants it to work, but she’s terrified it’s not going to because she wants it so badly. She thinks getting back together is more of an emotional commitment than first time they got together. Patrick says she’s freaking him out. In her interview, Stassi says she’s willing to fight for the relationship.

Jax arrives at SUR for his shift, and asks Tom how Pride was. Tom says he got handcuffed and whipped. He kind of likes it, so Ariana got one. Brittany comes to the bar, and asks Tom for a cocktail, sort of ignoring Jax. Saying nothing, but shooting daggers with her eyes. Jax wants to talk, but not at work. Tom says it’s not a good idea.

Brittany steps away, and Lisa asks how she is. Brittany says it’s a weird situation. She doesn’t know what she’s doing. Lisa tells her that she’s young; sh*t happens

Tom tells Jax it’s not easy all the time. Jax wants to work on it, but says he needs therapy. Tom suggests he make up an overnight bag, get his sh*t together, and get out of the apartment.

Lisa tells Brittany that she has a lot of support. Jax is the only a-hole in the situation. She hopes Brittany has the strength to make the right choices. She tells Brittany that she’ll be fine. The girls rally around her.  hopes trangth to make right chocies tells her she’ll be fine the girls rally around her

Jax says there’s no one better to tell him how to run a relationship. Tom says he put himself in the situation, and now everyone is pissed at him, including him. Brittany’s emotions are like a roller coaster, and she needs time to think. Tom tells him to give her some space. Jax doesn’t think she really wants to leave him, but Tom begs to differ.

Brittany tells the girls that she did something stupid in a moment of weakness. They had sex. I go, arrrgh! out loud. Brittany says she wanted affection. In her interview, she wishes she could stop loving him; it would be easier for her, but she can’t, and she doesn’t know what she’s doing.

Next time, Schwartz apologizes to Lisa and Ken, Stassi throws a party with a Jax piñata, and Lala is back.

😱 A horrifying postscript – Brittany and Jax are back together. He was a guest on Watch What Happens Live tonight. He said he’s “a work in progress.” I’m surprised he didn’t get rotten tomatoes thrown at him.

😊 On the other hand. RelationShep is very sweet. I think Shep is good-hearted, and maybe realizes he doesn’t want to grow old alone. It’s fun watching him travel around too. I especially loved seeing Austin, a place I’d love to visit. In the next phase, several of the girls he’s had dates with will come to Charleston, where they’ll live in the same house, much like The Bachelor. It looks like there will be some drama, but I think Shep deserves to find what he’s looking for. He also gave a couple of good quotes…

I like very pretty brunettes. I guess everybody does. That was a stupid comment. – Shep Rose, RelationShep

That’s when the cows come home to roost. – Shep Rose, RelationShep

GetThroughWeekPup

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